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AMELIA

Complete



By Henry Fielding



Edited By George Saintsbury

MDCCCXCIII










CONTENTS

TABLE OF CONTENTS




































INTRODUCTION.

Fielding’s third great novel has been the subject of much more discordant judgments than either of its forerunners. If we take the period since its appearance as covering four generations, we find the greatest authority in the earliest, Johnson, speaking of it with something more nearly approaching to enthusiasm than he allowed himself in reference to any other work of an author, to whom he was on the whole so unjust. The greatest man of letters of the next generation, Scott (whose attitude to Fielding was rather undecided, and seems to speak a mixture of intellectual admiration and moral dislike, or at least failure in sympathy), pronounces it “on the whole unpleasing,” and regards it chiefly as a sequel to Tom Jones, showing what is to be expected of a libertine and thoughtless husband. But he too is enthusiastic over the heroine. Thackeray (whom in this special connection at any rate it is scarcely too much to call the greatest man of the third generation) overflows with predilection for it, but chiefly, as it would seem, because of his affection for Amelia herself, in which he practically agrees with Scott and Johnson. It would be invidious, and is noways needful, to single out any critic of our own time to place beside these great men. But it cannot be denied that the book, now as always, has incurred a considerable amount of hinted fault and hesitated dislike. Even Mr. Dobson notes some things in it as “unsatisfactory;” Mr. Gosse, with evident consciousness of temerity, ventures to ask whether it is not “a little dull.” The very absence of episodes (on the ground that Miss Matthews’s story is too closely connected with the main action to be fairly called an episode) and of introductory dissertations has been brought against it, as the presence of these things was brought against its forerunners.

Fielding’s third major novel has received a lot more mixed reviews than his earlier works. If we consider the period since it was published to cover four generations, the most influential figure in the earliest days, Johnson, speaks about it with a level of enthusiasm he didn't show towards any other book by an author he generally treated unfairly. The most significant writer of the next generation, Scott (whose views on Fielding were somewhat ambiguous, reflecting a mix of intellectual admiration and moral disapproval, or at least a lack of empathy), describes it as “generally unpleasing,” viewing it mainly as a sequel to Tom Jones, illustrating what can be expected from a reckless and careless husband. However, he is also quite enthusiastic about the heroine. Thackeray (who could arguably be considered the greatest writer of the third generation in this context) expresses a strong fondness for it, primarily because of his affection for Amelia herself, aligning with Scott and Johnson in that respect. It wouldn’t be fair, and isn't necessary, to highlight any contemporary critic against these greats. However, it’s undeniable that the book has consistently faced significant criticism and some reluctance to embrace it. Even Mr. Dobson points out certain aspects as “unsatisfactory,” and Mr. Gosse, clearly aware of the risks, dares to question whether it is “a little dull.” The very lack of subplots (since Miss Matthews’s story is too intertwined with the main plot to be considered a subplot) and the absence of introductory explanations have also been criticized, just as similar elements were criticized in its predecessors.

I have sometimes wondered whether Amelia pays the penalty of an audacity which, a priori, its most unfavourable critics would indignantly deny to be a fault. It begins instead of ending with the marriage-bells; and though critic after critic of novels has exhausted his indignation and his satire over the folly of insisting on these as a finale, I doubt whether the demand is not too deeply rooted in the English, nay, in the human mind, to be safely neglected. The essence of all romance is a quest; the quest most perennially and universally interesting to man is the quest of a wife or a mistress; and the chapters dealing with what comes later have an inevitable flavour of tameness, and of the day after the feast. It is not common now-a-days to meet anybody who thinks Tommy Moore a great poet; one has to encounter either a suspicion of Philistinism or a suspicion of paradox if one tries to vindicate for him even his due place in the poetical hierarchy. Yet I suspect that no poet ever put into words a more universal criticism of life than he did when he wrote “I saw from the beach,” with its moral of—

I’ve sometimes wondered if Amelia suffers from an audacity that its harshest critics would angrily deny is a flaw. It starts with marriage bells instead of ending with them, and even though every critic has vented their frustration and sarcasm over the foolishness of insisting on these as a conclusion, I question whether this demand is too deeply ingrained in English culture, and in human nature, to be easily dismissed. The heart of all romance is a quest; the quest that consistently interests people the most is the search for a wife or mistress. The chapters that address what happens next inevitably feel bland, like the morning after a celebration. It’s rare these days to find anyone who considers Tommy Moore a great poet; if you try to defend him and give him his rightful place in the poetry world, you’ll often encounter either a sense of cultural snobbery or a sense of irony. But I suspect that no poet ever voiced a more universal critique of life than he did with his line, “I saw from the beach,” which carries a moral of—

“Give me back, give me back, the wild freshness of morning—Her smiles and her tears are worth evening’s best light.”

“Give me back, give me back, the wild freshness of morning—Her smiles and her tears are worth the best light of the evening.”

If we discard this fallacy boldly, and ask ourselves whether Amelia is or is not as good as Joseph Andrews or Tom Jones, we shall I think be inclined to answer rather in the affirmative than in the negative. It is perhaps a little more easy to find fault with its characters than with theirs; or rather, though no one of these characters has the defects of Blifil or of Allworthy, it is easy to say that no one of them has the charm of the best personages of the earlier books. The idolaters of Amelia would of course exclaim at this sentence as it regards that amiable lady; and I am myself by no means disposed to rank amiability low in the scale of things excellent in woman. But though she is by no means what her namesake and spiritual grand-daughter. Miss Sedley, must, I fear, be pronounced to be, an amiable fool, there is really too much of the milk of human kindness, unrefreshed and unrelieved of its mawkishness by the rum or whisky of human frailty, in her. One could have better pardoned her forgiveness of her husband if she had in the first place been a little more conscious of what there was to forgive; and in the second, a little more romantic in her attachment to him. As it is, he was son homme; he was handsome; he had broad shoulders; he had a sweet temper; he was the father of her children, and that was enough. At least we are allowed to see in Mr. Booth no qualities other than these, and in her no imagination even of any other qualities. To put what I mean out of reach of cavil, compare Imogen and Amelia, and the difference will be felt.

If we confidently set aside this misconception and ask ourselves whether Amelia is as good as Joseph Andrews or Tom Jones, I think we’ll be more inclined to say yes than no. It might be a bit easier to criticize its characters compared to theirs; or rather, while none of these characters have the flaws of Blifil or Allworthy, it’s easy to argue that none of them possess the charm of the best characters from the earlier books. Fans of Amelia would naturally react strongly to this statement about that lovely lady; and I certainly don’t mean to underestimate the value of amiability in a woman. However, while she isn’t exactly like her namesake and spiritual granddaughter Miss Sedley, who, I’m afraid, can only be considered an amiable fool, she definitely has too much of a sweet disposition, lacking any real depth or relief from its cloying nature. It would have been easier to forgive her for accepting her husband’s faults if, first, she had been more aware of what there was to forgive, and second, if her feelings for him had been a bit more passionate. As it stands, he was son homme; he was good-looking, had broad shoulders, a nice temperament, and was the father of her kids, and that was sufficient for her. At least, we see no qualities in Mr. Booth beyond these, and she doesn’t seem to imagine any other qualities. To clarify my point, just compare Imogen and Amelia, and you’ll notice the difference.

But Fielding was a prose writer, writing in London in the eighteenth century, while Shakespeare was a poet writing in all time and all space, so that the comparison is luminous in more ways than one. I do not think that in the special scheme which the novelist set himself here he can be accused of any failure. The life is as vivid as ever; the minor sketches may be even called a little more vivid. Dr Harrison is not perfect. I do not mean that he has ethical faults, for that is a merit, not a defect; but he is not quite perfect in art. His alternate persecution and patronage of Booth, though useful to the story, repeat the earlier fault of Allworthy, and are something of a blot. But he is individually much more natural than Allworthy, and indeed is something like what Dr Johnson would have been if he had been rather better bred, less crotchety, and blessed with more health. Miss Matthews in her earlier scenes has touches of greatness which a thousand French novelists lavishing “candour” and reckless of exaggeration have not equalled; and I believe that Fielding kept her at a distance during the later scenes of the story, because he could not trust himself not to make her more interesting than Amelia. Of the peers, more wicked and less wicked, there is indeed not much good to be said. The peer of the eighteenth-century writers (even when, as in Fielding’s case, there was no reason why they should “mention him with Kor,” as Policeman X. has it) is almost always a faint type of goodness or wickedness dressed out with stars and ribbons and coaches-and-six. Only Swift, by combination of experience and genius, has given us live lords in Lord Sparkish and Lord Smart. But Mrs. Ellison and Mrs. Atkinson are very women, and the serjeant, though the touch of “sensibility” is on him, is excellent; and Dr Harrison’s country friend and his prig of a son are capital; and Bondum, and “the author,” and Robinson, and all the minor characters, are as good as they can be.

But Fielding was a prose writer in London during the eighteenth century, while Shakespeare was a timeless poet, making the comparison insightful in multiple ways. I don't think the novelist failed in the particular aim he set for himself here. The life is as vibrant as ever; the minor sketches might even be a bit more lively. Dr. Harrison isn’t perfect. I don’t mean he has moral flaws—those are actually a strength, not a weakness—but he’s not quite flawless in his craft. His alternating support and criticism of Booth, while helpful to the story, repeats a previous issue with Allworthy and is somewhat of a blemish. However, he feels much more genuine than Allworthy and is, in a way, similar to what Dr. Johnson might have been if he had better manners, fewer quirks, and more health. Miss Matthews in her earlier scenes showcases flashes of greatness that a thousand French novelists, generously applying “candor” and being exaggerated, have not matched; I believe Fielding kept her at a distance in the later scenes because he couldn’t help making her more compelling than Amelia. As for the peers, whether bad or good, there isn’t much positive to say. The peer characters of the eighteenth-century writers (even when, as in Fielding's case, there was no reason to “mention him with Kor,” as Policeman X puts it) are usually just faint representations of goodness or evil dressed up with stars, ribbons, and fancy carriages. Only Swift, with his mix of experience and talent, has given us memorable lords in Lord Sparkish and Lord Smart. But Mrs. Ellison and Mrs. Atkinson are genuine characters, and the sergeant, despite having a touch of “sensibility,” is great; Dr. Harrison’s country friend and his pretentious son are excellent; and Bondum, “the author,” Robinson, and all the minor characters are as good as they can be.

It is, however, usual to detect a lack of vivacity in the book, an evidence of declining health and years. It may be so; it is at least certain that Fielding, during the composition of Amelia, had much less time to bestow upon elaborating his work than he had previously had, and that his health was breaking. But are we perfectly sure that if the chronological order had been different we should have pronounced the same verdict? Had Amelia come between Joseph and Tom, how many of us might have committed ourselves to some such sentence as this: “In Amelia we see the youthful exuberances of Joseph Andrews corrected by a higher art; the adjustment of plot and character arranged with a fuller craftsmanship; the genius which was to find its fullest exemplification in Tom Jones already displaying maturity”? And do we not too often forget that a very short time—in fact, barely three years—passed between the appearance of Tom Jones and the appearance of Amelia? that although we do not know how long the earlier work had been in preparation, it is extremely improbable that a man of Fielding’s temperament, of his wants, of his known habits and history, would have kept it when once finished long in his desk? and that consequently between some scenes of Tom Jones and some scenes of Amelia it is not improbable that there was no more than a few months’ interval? I do not urge these things in mitigation of any unfavourable judgment against the later novel. I only ask—How much of that unfavourable judgment ought in justice to be set down to the fallacies connected with an imperfect appreciation of facts?

It’s common to notice a lack of energy in the book, suggesting declining health and aging. That might be true; it's certain that Fielding, while writing Amelia, had much less time to refine his work than he did before, and that his health was failing. But are we completely sure that if the order of publication had been different, we would have reached the same conclusion? If Amelia had been released between Joseph and Tom, how many of us might have said something like this: “In Amelia, we see the youthful enthusiasm of Joseph Andrews improved by a higher level of artistry; the plot and character development crafted with greater skill; the brilliance that would fully shine in Tom Jones already showing signs of maturity”? And do we often forget that only a very short time—in fact, barely three years—separated the publication of Tom Jones and Amelia? Though we don’t know how long the earlier work was in the making, it’s highly unlikely that a man like Fielding, with his needs, habits, and history, would have kept it in his desk for long after finishing it. Therefore, it’s possible that only a few months passed between some scenes in Tom Jones and some scenes in Amelia. I’m not suggesting these points to lessen any negative judgment against the later novel. I just ask—how much of that negative judgment should be fairly attributed to misunderstandings related to an incomplete grasp of the facts?

To me it is not so much a question of deciding whether I like Amelia less, and if so, how much less, than the others, as a question what part of the general conception of this great writer it supplies? I do not think that we could fully understand Fielding without it; I do not think that we could derive the full quantity of pleasure from him without it. The exuberant romantic faculty of Joseph Andrews and its pleasant satire; the mighty craftsmanship and the vast science of life of Tom Jones; the ineffable irony and logical grasp of Jonathan Wild, might have left us with a slight sense of hardness, a vague desire for unction, if it had not been for this completion of the picture. We should not have known (for in the other books, with the possible exception of Mrs. Fitzpatrick, the characters are a little too determinately goats and sheep) how Fielding could draw nuances, how he could project a mixed personage on the screen, if we had not had Miss Matthews and Mrs. Atkinson—the last especially a figure full of the finest strokes, and, as a rule, insufficiently done justice to by critics.

To me, it’s not really about deciding whether I like Amelia less, and if so, by how much compared to the others. It’s more about what part of the overall understanding of this great writer it contributes. I don’t think we could fully grasp Fielding without it; I also don’t think we could enjoy his work as much without it. The vibrant romantic spirit of Joseph Andrews and its enjoyable satire; the impressive craftsmanship and deep exploration of life in Tom Jones; the profound irony and logical clarity of Jonathan Wild might have left us feeling a bit harsh and vaguely wanting compassion if it weren’t for this piece that completes the picture. We wouldn’t have known (because in the other books, except maybe for Mrs. Fitzpatrick, the characters are a bit too clearly defined as good or bad) how Fielding could portray nuances, how he could create a complex character, if we hadn’t had Miss Matthews and Mrs. Atkinson—the latter especially being a character rich in detail and generally not given enough credit by critics.

And I have purposely left to the last a group of personages about whom indeed there has been little question, but who are among the triumphs of Fielding’s art—the two Colonels and their connecting-link, the wife of the one and the sister of the other. Colonel Bath has necessarily united all suffrages. He is of course a very little stagey; he reminds us that his author had had a long theatrical apprenticeship: he is something too much d’une piece. But as a study of the brave man who is almost more braggart than brave, of the generous man who will sacrifice not only generosity but bare justice to “a hogo of honour,” he is admirable, and up to his time almost unique. Ordinary writers and ordinary readers have never been quite content to admit that bravery and braggadocio can go together, that the man of honour may be a selfish pedant. People have been unwilling to tell and to hear the whole truth even about Wolfe and Nelson, who were both favourable specimens of the type; but Fielding the infallible saw that type in its quiddity, and knew it, and registered it for ever.

And I’ve intentionally saved for last a group of characters that have stirred little debate, yet are among the triumphs of Fielding’s craft—the two Colonels and their connection, the wife of one and the sister of the other. Colonel Bath has naturally garnered universal approval. He is, of course, a bit theatrical; he reminds us that his author had a long experience in theater: he is somewhat too much d’une piece. But as a portrayal of the brave man who is almost more of a show-off than truly brave, and of the generous man willing to sacrifice not just generosity but even basic justice for “a hogo of honour,” he is remarkable, and before his time, almost one of a kind. Average writers and readers have never quite been willing to accept that bravery and arrogance can coexist, or that a man of honor might also be a selfish know-it-all. People have hesitated to tell and to hear the whole truth even about Wolfe and Nelson, who were both good examples of this type; but Fielding the insightful recognized this type in its essence, understood it, and made it eternal.

Less amusing but more delicately faithful and true are Colonel James and his wife. They are both very good sort of people in a way, who live in a lax and frivolous age, who have plenty of money, no particular principle, no strong affection for each other, and little individual character. They might have been—Mrs. James to some extent is—quite estimable and harmless; but even as it is, they are not to be wholly ill spoken of. Being what they are, Fielding has taken them, and, with a relentlessness which Swift could hardly have exceeded, and a good-nature which Swift rarely or never attained, has held them up to us as dissected preparations of half-innocent meanness, scoundrelism, and vanity, such as are hardly anywhere else to be found. I have used the word “preparations,” and it in part indicates Fielding’s virtue, a virtue shown, I think, in this book as much as anywhere. But it does not fully indicate it; for the preparation, wet or dry, is a dead thing, and a museum is but a mortuary. Fielding’s men and women, once more let it be said, are all alive. The palace of his work is the hall, not of Eblis, but of a quite beneficent enchanter, who puts burning hearts into his subjects, not to torture them, but only that they may light up for us their whole organisation and being. They are not in the least the worse for it, and we are infinitely the better.

Less entertaining but more faithfully accurate are Colonel James and his wife. They’re both decent people, living in a careless and superficial time, who have plenty of money, no particular beliefs, no strong feelings for each other, and little individuality. They could have been—Mrs. James to some extent is—quite respectable and harmless; but even as they are, they shouldn’t be completely criticized. Given who they are, Fielding has depicted them, with a persistence that Swift could hardly match, and a kindness that Swift rarely achieved, showcasing them as examples of half-innocent meanness, dishonesty, and vanity, which are hardly found elsewhere. I’ve used the word “examples,” and it partly reflects Fielding’s virtue, a virtue evident in this book as much as anywhere. But it doesn’t fully capture it; because an example, whether wet or dry, is a lifeless thing, and a museum is merely a place of the dead. Fielding’s characters, once again, are all alive. The focus of his work is the hall, not of a malevolent spirit, but of a truly benevolent magician, who infuses his subjects with passionate hearts, not to torment them, but so they can illuminate their entire being for us. They aren't worse off for it, and we are vastly better for it.

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DEDICATION.

To RALPH ALLEN, ESQ.

SIR,—The following book is sincerely designed to promote the cause of virtue, and to expose some of the most glaring evils, as well public as private, which at present infest the country; though there is scarce, as I remember, a single stroke of satire aimed at any one person throughout the whole.

SIR,—The following book is genuinely intended to support the cause of virtue and highlight some of the most obvious public and private evils that currently plague the country; however, I can hardly recall a single jab of satire directed at any individual throughout the entire work.

The best man is the properest patron of such an attempt. This, I believe, will be readily granted; nor will the public voice, I think, be more divided to whom they shall give that appellation. Should a letter, indeed, be thus inscribed, DETUR OPTIMO, there are few persons who would think it wanted any other direction.

The best man is the most suitable person to support such an effort. I believe this will be widely accepted; I also think the public will have a clear consensus on who deserves that title. If a letter were to be labeled DETUR OPTIMO, very few people would feel it needed any further clarification.

I will not trouble you with a preface concerning the work, nor endeavour to obviate any criticisms which can be made on it. The good-natured reader, if his heart should be here affected, will be inclined to pardon many faults for the pleasure he will receive from a tender sensation: and for readers of a different stamp, the more faults they can discover, the more, I am convinced, they will be pleased.

I won’t bother you with a preface about the work, nor will I try to address any critiques that might come up. A kind reader, if they are touched by what they read, will likely forgive many mistakes for the joy they find in a heartfelt experience. And for readers with different tastes, the more flaws they spot, the more I’m sure they will enjoy it.

Nor will I assume the fulsome stile of common dedicators. I have not their usual design in this epistle, nor will I borrow their language. Long, very long may it be before a most dreadful circumstance shall make it possible for any pen to draw a just and true character of yourself without incurring a suspicion of flattery in the bosoms of the malignant. This task, therefore, I shall defer till that day (if I should be so unfortunate as ever to see it) when every good man shall pay a tear for the satisfaction of his curiosity; a day which, at present, I believe, there is but one good man in the world who can think of it with unconcern.

I won’t adopt the overly flattering style of typical dedicators. I don’t share their usual purpose in this letter, nor will I use their language. It may be a long time before a truly terrible event allows anyone to realistically and accurately describe you without raising suspicions of insincerity among the spiteful. So, I’ll put off that task until that day (if I’m ever so unfortunate to witness it) when every decent person will shed a tear for the satisfaction of their curiosity; a day when, right now, I believe there is only one decent person in the world who can think about it without concern.

Accept then, sir, this small token of that love, that gratitude, and that respect, with which I shall always esteem it my GREATEST HONOUR to be,

Accept this small token of my love, gratitude, and respect, which I will always consider my GREATEST HONOR to have.

Sir, Your most obliged, and most obedient humble servant,
HENRY FIELDING.

Sir, Your most obliged and most obedient humble servant,
HENRY FIELDING.

Bow Street, Dec. 2, 1751.

Bow Street, Dec. 2, 1751.

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AMELIA.










VOL. I










BOOK I.










Chapter i. — Containing the exordium, &c.

The various accidents which befel a very worthy couple after their uniting in the state of matrimony will be the subject of the following history. The distresses which they waded through were some of them so exquisite, and the incidents which produced these so extraordinary, that they seemed to require not only the utmost malice, but the utmost invention, which superstition hath ever attributed to Fortune: though whether any such being interfered in the case, or, indeed, whether there be any such being in the universe, is a matter which I by no means presume to determine in the affirmative. To speak a bold truth, I am, after much mature deliberation, inclined to suspect that the public voice hath, in all ages, done much injustice to Fortune, and hath convicted her of many facts in which she had not the least concern. I question much whether we may not, by natural means, account for the success of knaves, the calamities of fools, with all the miseries in which men of sense sometimes involve themselves, by quitting the directions of Prudence, and following the blind guidance of a predominant passion; in short, for all the ordinary phenomena which are imputed to Fortune; whom, perhaps, men accuse with no less absurdity in life, than a bad player complains of ill luck at the game of chess.

The various mishaps that happened to a very deserving couple after they got married will be the focus of this story. The struggles they faced were so intense, and the events that caused them so unusual, that they seemed to require not just extreme malice but also extreme creativity, which superstition has always linked to Fate. However, whether any such force was involved or even if such a force exists in the universe is something I don't claim to determine definitively. To be quite honest, after careful consideration, I suspect that public opinion has, throughout history, wronged Fate and has accused her of many things she had no part in. I seriously wonder if we can’t explain the success of tricksters, the misfortunes of fools, and all the troubles sensible people sometimes get into by abandoning the advice of Wisdom and following the reckless lead of a strong emotion; in short, for all the common occurrences that people attribute to Fate, whom, perhaps, we blame with just as much absurdity in life as a bad player complaining about bad luck at chess.

But if men are sometimes guilty of laying improper blame on this imaginary being, they are altogether as apt to make her amends by ascribing to her honours which she as little deserves. To retrieve the ill consequences of a foolish conduct, and by struggling manfully with distress to subdue it, is one of the noblest efforts of wisdom and virtue. Whoever, therefore, calls such a man fortunate, is guilty of no less impropriety in speech than he would be who should call the statuary or the poet fortunate who carved a Venus or who writ an Iliad.

But if people sometimes wrongly blame this imaginary being, they are just as likely to make it up to her by giving her praise she doesn’t deserve. To fix the negative outcomes of foolish actions, and by bravely battling through tough times to overcome them, is one of the greatest displays of wisdom and virtue. So, anyone who calls such a person lucky is just as inappropriate in their words as someone who would call the sculptor or the poet lucky for creating a Venus or writing an Iliad.

Life may as properly be called an art as any other; and the great incidents in it are no more to be considered as mere accidents than the several members of a fine statue or a noble poem. The critics in all these are not content with seeing anything to be great without knowing why and how it came to be so. By examining carefully the several gradations which conduce to bring every model to perfection, we learn truly to know that science in which the model is formed: as histories of this kind, therefore, may properly be called models of human life, so, by observing minutely the several incidents which tend to the catastrophe or completion of the whole, and the minute causes whence those incidents are produced, we shall best be instructed in this most useful of all arts, which I call the art of life.

Life can be seen as much of an art as anything else; the significant events in it shouldn't be viewed as mere accidents, just like the individual parts of a beautiful statue or a great poem. Critics in all these areas are not satisfied with greatness unless they understand why and how it came about. By closely examining the various stages that help bring every model to perfection, we genuinely learn about the discipline that shapes the model: since narratives of this nature can rightly be called models of human life, by carefully observing the different events that lead to the climax or resolution, along with the subtle causes behind those events, we will gain the best insight into this most valuable of all arts, which I refer to as the art of life.










Chapter ii. — The history sets out. Observations on the excellency of the English constitution and curious examinations before a justice of peace.

On the first of April, in the year ——, the watchmen of a certain parish (I know not particularly which) within the liberty of Westminster brought several persons whom they had apprehended the preceding night before Jonathan Thrasher, Esq., one of the justices of the peace for that liberty.

On April 1st, in the year ——, the watchmen of a certain parish (I’m not sure which one) within the area of Westminster brought several people they had arrested the night before to Jonathan Thrasher, Esq., one of the justices of the peace for that area.

But here, reader, before we proceed to the trials of these offenders, we shall, after our usual manner, premise some things which it may be necessary for thee to know.

But here, reader, before we move on to the trials of these offenders, we will, as is our custom, mention a few things that you may need to know.

It hath been observed, I think, by many, as well as the celebrated writer of three letters, that no human institution is capable of consummate perfection. An observation which, perhaps, that writer at least gathered from discovering some defects in the polity even of this well-regulated nation. And, indeed, if there should be any such defect in a constitution which my Lord Coke long ago told us “the wisdom of all the wise men in the world, if they had all met together at one time, could not have equalled,” which some of our wisest men who were met together long before said was too good to be altered in any particular, and which, nevertheless, hath been mending ever since, by a very great number of the said wise men: if, I say, this constitution should be imperfect, we may be allowed, I think, to doubt whether any such faultless model can be found among the institutions of men.

It has been noted, I believe, by many, including the famous writer of three letters, that no human institution can achieve complete perfection. This observation, perhaps, arose from that writer noticing some flaws in the structure of even this well-organized nation. In fact, if there were any such flaw in a constitution which my Lord Coke told us a long time ago “the wisdom of all the wise men in the world, if they had all met together at one time, could not have matched,” and which some of our brightest minds who gathered long before said was too good to be changed in any way, and which, nonetheless, has been improving ever since, by a large number of those wise men: if, I say, this constitution should be flawed, we might be justified, I think, in questioning whether any such perfect model can be found among human institutions.

It will probably be objected, that the small imperfections which I am about to produce do not lie in the laws themselves, but in the ill execution of them; but, with submission, this appears to me to be no less an absurdity than to say of any machine that it is excellently made, though incapable of performing its functions. Good laws should execute themselves in a well-regulated state; at least, if the same legislature which provides the laws doth not provide for the execution of them, they act as Graham would do, if he should form all the parts of a clock in the most exquisite manner, yet put them so together that the clock could not go. In this case, surely, we might say that there was a small defect in the constitution of the clock.

It might be argued that the minor flaws I’m about to discuss don’t stem from the laws themselves, but from their poor implementation; however, I believe this is just as unreasonable as saying any machine is perfectly designed even if it can't perform its functions. Good laws should apply themselves in a well-functioning society; at the very least, if the same lawmakers who create the laws don’t also ensure they’re enforced, they are like someone who, despite crafting each part of a clock beautifully, assembles it in such a way that it can’t operate. In this case, it’s fair to say that there’s a minor flaw in the clock’s design.

To say the truth, Graham would soon see the fault, and would easily remedy it. The fault, indeed, could be no other than that the parts were improperly disposed.

To be honest, Graham would soon notice the mistake and would fix it easily. The problem was simply that the parts were not arranged correctly.

Perhaps, reader, I have another illustration which will set my intention in still a clearer light before you. Figure to yourself then a family, the master of which should dispose of the several economical offices in the following manner; viz. should put his butler in the coach-box, his steward behind his coach, his coachman in the butlery, and his footman in the stewardship, and in the same ridiculous manner should misemploy the talents of every other servant; it is easy to see what a figure such a family must make in the world.

Perhaps, reader, I have another example that will clarify my point further. Imagine a family where the head of the household assigns various jobs in the following way: the butler is placed in charge of driving the coach, the steward is positioned behind the coach, the coachman is put in the butler's role, and the footman is given the responsibilities of the steward. If the head of the household were to misassign the skills of every other servant in the same ridiculous fashion, it's easy to see what kind of reputation such a family would have in society.

As ridiculous as this may seem, I have often considered some of the lower officers in our civil government to be disposed in this very manner. To begin, I think, as low as I well can, with the watchmen in our metropolis, who, being to guard our streets by night from thieves and robbers, an office which at least requires strength of body, are chosen out of those poor old decrepit people who are, from their want of bodily strength, rendered incapable of getting a livelihood by work. These men, armed only with a pole, which some of them are scarce able to lift, are to secure the persons and houses of his majesty’s subjects from the attacks of gangs of young, bold, stout, desperate, and well-armed villains.

As absurd as this might sound, I've often thought that some of the lower officials in our local government are chosen in this exact way. To start, I’ll go as low as I can, with the night watchmen in our city, whose job is to protect our streets from thieves and robbers—a role that definitely needs physical strength. Yet, they are selected from among those poor old and frail individuals who, due to their lack of physical ability, can’t earn a living through work. These men, armed only with a stick that some can barely lift, are supposed to protect the people and homes of His Majesty’s subjects from attacks by groups of young, bold, strong, desperate, and well-armed criminals.

     Quae non viribus istis
     Munera conveniunt.
     Quae non viribus istis
     Munera conveniunt.

If the poor old fellows should run away from such enemies, no one I think can wonder, unless it be that they were able to make their escape.

If those poor old guys were to flee from such enemies, I don't think anyone could be surprised, unless it turns out they managed to get away.

The higher we proceed among our public officers and magistrates, the less defects of this kind will, perhaps, be observable. Mr. Thrasher, however, the justice before whom the prisoners above mentioned were now brought, had some few imperfections in his magistratical capacity. I own, I have been sometimes inclined to think that this office of a justice of peace requires some knowledge of the law: for this simple reason; because, in every case which comes before him, he is to judge and act according to law. Again, as these laws are contained in a great variety of books, the statutes which relate to the office of a justice of peace making of themselves at least two large volumes in folio; and that part of his jurisdiction which is founded on the common law being dispersed in above a hundred volumes, I cannot conceive how this knowledge should by acquired without reading; and yet certain it is, Mr. Thrasher never read one syllable of the matter.

The higher we go among our public officials and judges, the fewer flaws of this kind we might notice. However, Mr. Thrasher, the justice presiding over the prisoners mentioned earlier, had some imperfections in his role as a magistrate. I have sometimes felt that being a justice of the peace requires some understanding of the law. The reason is simple: he needs to judge and act according to the law in every case that comes before him. Moreover, since these laws are found in a wide variety of books, the statutes pertaining to a justice of the peace fill at least two large volumes. Additionally, the part of his authority based on common law is spread over more than a hundred volumes. I can't imagine how one could acquire this knowledge without reading, and yet it is certain that Mr. Thrasher never read a single word on the subject.

This, perhaps, was a defect; but this was not all: for where mere ignorance is to decide a point between two litigants, it will always be an even chance whether it decides right or wrong: but sorry am I to say, right was often in a much worse situation than this, and wrong hath often had five hundred to one on his side before that magistrate; who, if he was ignorant of the law of England, was yet well versed in the laws of nature. He perfectly well understood that fundamental principle so strongly laid down in the institutes of the learned Rochefoucault, by which the duty of self-love is so strongly enforced, and every man is taught to consider himself as the centre of gravity, and to attract all things thither. To speak the truth plainly, the justice was never indifferent in a cause but when he could get nothing on either side.

This might have been a flaw; but that wasn't all: when ignorance is the deciding factor between two parties in a legal dispute, there's always a 50/50 chance it could go either way. Unfortunately, the right side was often in a much worse position than wrong, which frequently had odds of five hundred to one in its favor before that magistrate. Even if he didn’t know the law of England, he was well acquainted with the laws of nature. He understood perfectly the fundamental principle emphasized in the writings of the learned Rochefoucault, which strongly advocates for self-love and teaches that every person should see themselves as the center of the universe, attracting everything towards them. To be blunt, the judge was never unbiased in a case unless he could gain nothing from either side.

Such was the justice to whose tremendous bar Mr. Gotobed the constable, on the day above mentioned, brought several delinquents, who, as we have said, had been apprehended by the watch for diverse outrages.

Such was the justice to whom Mr. Gotobed the constable, on the day mentioned above, brought several offenders, who, as we noted, had been caught by the watch for various crimes.

The first who came upon his trial was as bloody a spectre as ever the imagination of a murderer or a tragic poet conceived. This poor wretch was charged with a battery by a much stouter man than himself; indeed the accused person bore about him some evidence that he had been in an affray, his cloaths being very bloody, but certain open sluices on his own head sufficiently shewed whence all the scarlet stream had issued: whereas the accuser had not the least mark or appearance of any wound. The justice asked the defendant, What he meant by breaking the king’s peace?——To which he answered——“Upon my shoul I do love the king very well, and I have not been after breaking anything of his that I do know; but upon my shoul this man hath brake my head, and my head did brake his stick; that is all, gra.” He then offered to produce several witnesses against this improbable accusation; but the justice presently interrupted him, saying, “Sirrah, your tongue betrays your guilt. You are an Irishman, and that is always sufficient evidence with me.”

The first person to face his trial was as terrifying a figure as anyone could imagine, be it a murderer or a tragic poet. This poor victim was accused of assaulting a much bigger man; in fact, the accused showed clear signs of being in a fight, with his clothes covered in blood, but the open wounds on his own head clearly indicated where all that blood had come from. Meanwhile, the accuser had no visible injuries at all. The judge asked the defendant what he meant by disturbing the king's peace. To which he replied, "I swear I love the king very much, and I haven't done anything to break his peace that I know of; but I swear this man broke my head, and my head broke his stick; that’s all, sir." He then tried to bring forward several witnesses to support his unlikely claim, but the judge quickly cut him off, saying, "You’re guilty by your own words. You're Irish, and that alone is proof enough for me."

The second criminal was a poor woman, who was taken up by the watch as a street-walker. It was alleged against her that she was found walking the streets after twelve o’clock, and the watchman declared he believed her to be a common strumpet. She pleaded in her defence (as was really the truth) that she was a servant, and was sent by her mistress, who was a little shopkeeper and upon the point of delivery, to fetch a midwife; which she offered to prove by several of the neighbours, if she was allowed to send for them. The justice asked her why she had not done it before? to which she answered, she had no money, and could get no messenger. The justice then called her several scurrilous names, and, declaring she was guilty within the statute of street-walking, ordered her to Bridewell for a month.

The second criminal was a poor woman who was caught by the watch while walking the streets. They claimed she was out after midnight, and the watchman said he believed she was a common prostitute. She defended herself (which was actually true) by saying she was a servant sent by her mistress, a small shopkeeper about to give birth, to get a midwife. She offered to prove this with several neighbors if she could send for them. The judge asked why she hadn’t done that earlier, and she replied that she had no money and couldn’t find anyone to send. The judge then called her several insulting names and, declaring her guilty of street-walking, sentenced her to a month in Bridewell.

A genteel young man and woman were then set forward, and a very grave-looking person swore he caught them in a situation which we cannot as particularly describe here as he did before the magistrate; who, having received a wink from his clerk, declared with much warmth that the fact was incredible and impossible. He presently discharged the accused parties, and was going, without any evidence, to commit the accuser for perjury; but this the clerk dissuaded him from, saying he doubted whether a justice of peace had any such power. The justice at first differed in opinion, and said, “He had seen a man stand in the pillory about perjury; nay, he had known a man in gaol for it too; and how came he there if he was not committed thither?” “Why, that is true, sir,” answered the clerk; “and yet I have been told by a very great lawyer that a man cannot be committed for perjury before he is indicted; and the reason is, I believe, because it is not against the peace before the indictment makes it so.” “Why, that may be,” cries the justice, “and indeed perjury is but scandalous words, and I know a man cannot have no warrant for those, unless you put for rioting {Footnote: Opus est interprete. By the laws of England abusive words are not punishable by the magistrate; some commissioners of the peace, therefore, when one scold hath applied to them for a warrant against another, from a too eager desire of doing justice, have construed a little harmless scolding into a riot, which is in law an outrageous breach of the peace committed by several persons, by three at the least, nor can a less number be convicted of it. Under this word rioting, or riotting (for I have seen it spelt both ways), many thousands of old women have been arrested and put to expense, sometimes in prison, for a little intemperate use of their tongues. This practice began to decrease in the year 1749.} them into the warrant.”

A well-mannered young man and woman were brought forward, and a very serious-looking person claimed he caught them in a situation that we can't specifically describe here as he did before the magistrate; who, after receiving a wink from his clerk, declared passionately that the accusation was unbelievable and impossible. He quickly dismissed the accused parties and was about to charge the accuser with perjury without any evidence, but the clerk convinced him otherwise, saying he wasn't sure if a justice of the peace had that authority. The justice initially disagreed, stating, “I’ve seen a man in the pillory for perjury; in fact, I’ve known a man to be jailed for it too; how did he end up there if he wasn’t committed?” “That’s true, sir,” replied the clerk; “however, I’ve been told by a prominent lawyer that a person cannot be committed for perjury until they are indicted; and I believe the reason is that it isn't considered a crime against the peace until the indictment makes it so.” “That could be,” said the justice, “and indeed perjury is just scandalous words, and I know a person cannot obtain a warrant for that, unless you label it as rioting {Footnote: Opus est interprete. By the laws of England, abusive words are not punishable by the magistrate; some justices of the peace, when one person has asked them for a warrant against another out of a desire to enforce justice, have misinterpreted a bit of harmless scolding as a riot, which in law is defined as a serious violation of the peace carried out by multiple individuals, at least three, and no fewer can be convicted of it. Under this term rioting, or riotting (for I’ve seen it spelled both ways), many thousands of old women have been arrested and put to expense, sometimes even imprisoned, for just using their tongues a bit too freely. This practice started to decline in 1749.} them into the warrant.”

The witness was now about to be discharged, when the lady whom he had accused declared she would swear the peace against him, for that he had called her a whore several times. “Oho! you will swear the peace, madam, will you?” cries the justice: “Give her the peace, presently; and pray, Mr. Constable, secure the prisoner, now we have him, while a warrant is made to take him up.” All which was immediately performed, and the poor witness, for want of securities, was sent to prison.

The witness was just about to be released when the woman he had accused said she would file a restraining order against him because he had called her a whore multiple times. “Oh, really? You’re going to file a restraining order, are you?” shouted the judge. “Grant her the order right away; and please, Mr. Constable, keep the prisoner secure now that we have him, while a warrant is prepared to arrest him.” This was done immediately, and since the poor witness couldn't provide any security, he was sent to jail.

A young fellow, whose name was Booth, was now charged with beating the watchman in the execution of his office and breaking his lanthorn. This was deposed by two witnesses; and the shattered remains of a broken lanthorn, which had been long preserved for the sake of its testimony, were produced to corroborate the evidence. The justice, perceiving the criminal to be but shabbily drest, was going to commit him without asking any further questions. At length, however, at the earnest request of the accused, the worthy magistrate submitted to hear his defence. The young man then alledged, as was in reality the case, “That as he was walking home to his lodging he saw two men in the street cruelly beating a third, upon which he had stopt and endeavoured to assist the person who was so unequally attacked; that the watch came up during the affray, and took them all four into custody; that they were immediately carried to the round-house, where the two original assailants, who appeared to be men of fortune, found means to make up the matter, and were discharged by the constable, a favour which he himself, having no money in his pocket, was unable to obtain. He utterly denied having assaulted any of the watchmen, and solemnly declared that he was offered his liberty at the price of half a crown.”

A young man named Booth was now accused of attacking the watchman while he was doing his job and breaking his lantern. This was testified by two witnesses, and the damaged pieces of the lantern, which had been kept for evidence, were brought in to support their statements. The judge noticed that the defendant was poorly dressed and was about to lock him up without asking any more questions. However, at the urgent request of the accused, the respected magistrate agreed to hear his side of the story. The young man then claimed, as was actually the case, “That as he was walking home to his place, he saw two men in the street brutally beating another man. He stopped to try to help the person who was being attacked; then the watch arrived during the fight and took all four of them into custody. They were quickly taken to the round-house, where the two original attackers, who seemed to be well-off, managed to settle things and were released by the constable. He, having no money at all, was unable to do the same. He completely denied having assaulted any of the watchmen and firmly stated that he was offered his freedom for half a crown.”

Though the bare word of an offender can never be taken against the oath of his accuser, yet the matter of this defence was so pertinent, and delivered with such an air of truth and sincerity, that, had the magistrate been endued with much sagacity, or had he been very moderately gifted with another quality very necessary to all who are to administer justice, he would have employed some labour in cross-examining the watchmen; at least he would have given the defendant the time he desired to send for the other persons who were present at the affray; neither of which he did. In short, the magistrate had too great an honour for truth to suspect that she ever appeared in sordid apparel; nor did he ever sully his sublime notions of that virtue by uniting them with the mean ideas of poverty and distress.

Though the mere word of an offender can never outweigh the testimony of their accuser, the points made in this defense were so relevant and presented with such an air of truth and sincerity that, had the magistrate been wise or even somewhat skilled in the qualities needed to administer justice, he would have taken the time to cross-examine the watchmen; at the very least, he would have allowed the defendant the time he requested to call for the other witnesses present during the altercation; yet he did neither. In short, the magistrate held truth in such high regard that he could not imagine it ever showing up in shabby clothing; nor did he ever tarnish his lofty views of that virtue by associating them with the lowly ideas of poverty and hardship.

There remained now only one prisoner, and that was the poor man himself in whose defence the last-mentioned culprit was engaged. His trial took but a very short time. A cause of battery and broken lanthorn was instituted against him, and proved in the same manner; nor would the justice hear one word in defence; but, though his patience was exhausted, his breath was not; for against this last wretch he poured forth a great many volleys of menaces and abuse.

There was now only one prisoner left, and that was the unfortunate man whom the previously mentioned criminal was defending. His trial was over quickly. He was charged with battery and breaking a lantern, and it was proven just like the others; the judge wouldn’t listen to a single word of defense. Although he had run out of patience, he still had plenty of breath left, and he unleashed a barrage of threats and insults against this last scoundrel.

The delinquents were then all dispatched to prison under a guard of watchmen, and the justice and the constable adjourned to a neighbouring alehouse to take their morning repast.

The delinquents were then all sent to prison under the watch of guards, and the judge and the constable went to a nearby pub to have their breakfast.










Chapter iii. — Containing the inside of a prison.

Mr. Booth (for we shall not trouble you with the rest) was no sooner arrived in the prison than a number of persons gathered round him, all demanding garnish; to which Mr. Booth not making a ready answer, as indeed he did not understand the word, some were going to lay hold of him, when a person of apparent dignity came up and insisted that no one should affront the gentleman. This person then, who was no less than the master or keeper of the prison, turning towards Mr. Booth, acquainted him that it was the custom of the place for every prisoner upon his first arrival there to give something to the former prisoners to make them drink. This, he said, was what they call garnish, and concluded with advising his new customer to draw his purse upon the present occasion. Mr. Booth answered that he would very readily comply with this laudable custom, was it in his power; but that in reality he had not a shilling in his pocket, and, what was worse, he had not a shilling in the world.—“Oho! if that be the case,” cries the keeper, “it is another matter, and I have nothing to say.” Upon which he immediately departed, and left poor Booth to the mercy of his companions, who without loss of time applied themselves to uncasing, as they termed it, and with such dexterity, that his coat was not only stript off, but out of sight in a minute.

Mr. Booth (we won’t bother you with the rest) had barely arrived at the prison when a group of people gathered around him, all demanding a “garnish.” Mr. Booth didn’t respond quickly because he didn’t understand the term. As some were about to grab him, a person of obvious authority stepped in and insisted no one should confront the gentleman. This individual, who turned out to be the master or keeper of the prison, informed Mr. Booth that it was customary for every new prisoner to give something to the former prisoners to buy them drinks. He said this was what they called “garnish” and advised him to open his wallet for this occasion. Mr. Booth replied that he would gladly follow this commendable custom if he could, but he honestly didn’t have a penny on him, and worse, he had no money at all. “Oh, if that’s the case,” said the keeper, “that’s a different story, and I have nothing else to say.” With that, he quickly left, leaving poor Booth at the mercy of his companions, who wasted no time in “uncasing” him, and with such skill that his coat was not only stripped off but out of sight in no time.

Mr. Booth was too weak to resist and too wise to complain of this usage. As soon, therefore, as he was at liberty, and declared free of the place, he summoned his philosophy, of which he had no inconsiderable share, to his assistance, and resolved to make himself as easy as possible under his present circumstances.

Mr. Booth was too weak to fight back and too smart to complain about how he was treated. So, as soon as he was free and officially released from the place, he called on his philosophy, of which he had a good amount, to help him and decided to make himself as comfortable as possible given his situation.

Could his own thoughts indeed have suffered him a moment to forget where he was, the dispositions of the other prisoners might have induced him to believe that he had been in a happier place: for much the greater part of his fellow-sufferers, instead of wailing and repining at their condition, were laughing, singing, and diverting themselves with various kinds of sports and gambols.

Could his own thoughts really have allowed him to forget where he was, the behavior of the other prisoners might have made him think he was in a happier place: because most of his fellow sufferers, instead of crying and complaining about their situation, were laughing, singing, and entertaining themselves with different kinds of games and fun.

The first person who accosted him was called Blear-eyed Moll, a woman of no very comely appearance. Her eye (for she had but one), whence she derived her nickname, was such as that nickname bespoke; besides which, it had two remarkable qualities; for first, as if Nature had been careful to provide for her own defect, it constantly looked towards her blind side; and secondly, the ball consisted almost entirely of white, or rather yellow, with a little grey spot in the corner, so small that it was scarce discernible. Nose she had none; for Venus, envious perhaps at her former charms, had carried off the gristly part; and some earthly damsel, perhaps, from the same envy, had levelled the bone with the rest of her face: indeed it was far beneath the bones of her cheeks, which rose proportionally higher than is usual. About half a dozen ebony teeth fortified that large and long canal which nature had cut from ear to ear, at the bottom of which was a chin preposterously short, nature having turned up the bottom, instead of suffering it to grow to its due length.

The first person who approached him was Blear-eyed Moll, a woman who wasn’t very attractive. Her eye (since she only had one) was just like her nickname suggested; it had two notable features: first, as if Nature had tried to compensate for her deficiency, it always looked toward her blind side; and second, the eye was mostly white, or more precisely, yellow, with a tiny gray spot in the corner that was barely noticeable. She had no nose; it seemed that Venus, perhaps out of jealousy for her previous beauty, had taken away the fleshy part, and some earthly woman, possibly out of the same envy, had flattened the bone along with the rest of her face. In fact, it sat much lower than her cheekbones, which were unusually high. About half a dozen dark teeth lined the long gap that Nature had created from ear to ear, and at the end of it was a chin that was absurdly short, as Nature seemed to have flipped it up instead of letting it grow to the appropriate length.

Her body was well adapted to her face; she measured full as much round the middle as from head to foot; for, besides the extreme breadth of her back, her vast breasts had long since forsaken their native home, and had settled themselves a little below the girdle.

Her body matched her face perfectly; she was as wide around the middle as she was tall; because, in addition to her broad back, her large breasts had long moved down from their original position and settled a bit below her waist.

I wish certain actresses on the stage, when they are to perform characters of no amiable cast, would study to dress themselves with the propriety with which Blear-eyed Moll was now arrayed. For the sake of our squeamish reader, we shall not descend to particulars; let it suffice to say, nothing more ragged or more dirty was ever emptied out of the round-house at St Giles’s.

I wish some actresses on stage, when they have to play unpleasant characters, would take notes from how Blear-eyed Moll is dressed right now. To spare our sensitive readers, we won’t get into specifics; just know that nothing more torn or filthy has ever come out of the round-house at St Giles’s.

We have taken the more pains to describe this person, for two remarkable reasons; the one is, that this unlovely creature was taken in the fact with a very pretty young fellow; the other, which is more productive of moral lesson, is, that however wretched her fortune may appear to the reader, she was one of the merriest persons in the whole prison.

We made an extra effort to describe this person for two notable reasons: first, because this unattractive individual was caught in the act with a very handsome young man; and second, which offers a stronger moral lesson, is that despite how miserable her situation might seem to the reader, she was one of the happiest people in the entire prison.

Blear-eyed Moll then came up to Mr. Booth with a smile, or rather grin, on her countenance, and asked him for a dram of gin; and when Booth assured her that he had not a penny of money, she replied—“D—n your eyes, I thought by your look you had been a clever fellow, and upon the snaffling lay {Footnote: A cant term for robbery on the highway} at least; but, d—n your body and eyes, I find you are some sneaking budge {Footnote: Another cant term for pilfering} rascal.” She then launched forth a volley of dreadful oaths, interlarded with some language not proper to be repeated here, and was going to lay hold on poor Booth, when a tall prisoner, who had been very earnestly eying Booth for some time, came up, and, taking her by the shoulder, flung her off at some distance, cursing her for a b—h, and bidding her let the gentleman alone.

Blear-eyed Moll then approached Mr. Booth with a smile, or more accurately, a smirk on her face, and asked him for a shot of gin. When Booth told her he didn’t have a penny to his name, she replied, “Damn your eyes, I thought by your look you were a clever guy, and at least up to some mischief; but damn your body and eyes, I see you’re just some sneaky little thief.” She then unleashed a stream of terrible curses, mixed with some inappropriate language, and was about to grab poor Booth when a tall prisoner, who had been watching Booth closely for a while, stepped in, took her by the shoulder, pushed her away, cursing her for being a b—h and telling her to leave the gentleman alone.

This person was not himself of the most inviting aspect. He was long-visaged, and pale, with a red beard of above a fortnight’s growth. He was attired in a brownish-black coat, which would have shewed more holes than it did, had not the linen, which appeared through it, been entirely of the same colour with the cloth.

This person didn’t exactly have a welcoming appearance. He had a long face and was pale, with a red beard that was over two weeks old. He was wearing a brownish-black coat, which would have shown more holes if the linen underneath it hadn’t been the same color as the fabric.

This gentleman, whose name was Robinson, addressed himself very civilly to Mr. Booth, and told him he was sorry to see one of his appearance in that place: “For as to your being without your coat, sir,” says he, “I can easily account for that; and, indeed, dress is the least part which distinguishes a gentleman.” At which words he cast a significant look on his own coat, as if he desired they should be applied to himself. He then proceeded in the following manner:

This man, named Robinson, spoke politely to Mr. Booth and mentioned how sorry he was to see someone like him in that place: “As for you not wearing your coat, sir,” he said, “I can easily explain that; and honestly, clothing is the least important thing that sets a gentleman apart.” With those words, he glanced meaningfully at his own coat, as if to suggest they applied to him. He then continued in the following way:

“I perceive, sir, you are but just arrived in this dismal place, which is, indeed, rendered more detestable by the wretches who inhabit it than by any other circumstance; but even these a wise man will soon bring himself to bear with indifference; for what is, is; and what must be, must be. The knowledge of this, which, simple as it appears, is in truth the heighth of all philosophy, renders a wise man superior to every evil which can befall him. I hope, sir, no very dreadful accident is the cause of your coming hither; but, whatever it was, you may be assured it could not be otherwise; for all things happen by an inevitable fatality; and a man can no more resist the impulse of fate than a wheelbarrow can the force of its driver.”

“I see, sir, you’ve just arrived in this gloomy place, which is made even worse by the miserable people who live here than by any other factor; but even these can be ignored by a wise person; what is, is; and what must happen, will happen. Understanding this, which may seem simple but is actually the peak of philosophy, makes a wise person stronger than any misfortune that may come his way. I hope, sir, that nothing too terrible has brought you here; but whatever it was, you can be sure it couldn’t have been any other way; everything happens due to an unavoidable fate, and a person can resist fate no more than a wheelbarrow can resist the strength of its driver.”

Besides the obligation which Mr. Robinson had conferred on Mr. Booth in delivering him from the insults of Blear-eyed Moll, there was something in the manner of Robinson which, notwithstanding the meanness of his dress, seemed to distinguish him from the crowd of wretches who swarmed in those regions; and, above all, the sentiments which he had just declared very nearly coincided with those of Mr. Booth: this gentleman was what they call a freethinker; that is to say, a deist, or, perhaps, an atheist; for, though he did not absolutely deny the existence of a God, yet he entirely denied his providence. A doctrine which, if it is not downright atheism, hath a direct tendency towards it; and, as Dr Clarke observes, may soon be driven into it. And as to Mr. Booth, though he was in his heart an extreme well-wisher to religion (for he was an honest man), yet his notions of it were very slight and uncertain. To say truth, he was in the wavering condition so finely described by Claudian:

Besides the obligation that Mr. Robinson had placed on Mr. Booth by rescuing him from the insults of Blear-eyed Moll, there was something about Robinson’s demeanor that, despite the shabby clothing he wore, set him apart from the crowd of destitute people in that area. Most importantly, the beliefs he had just expressed were very similar to those of Mr. Booth: this gentleman was what some call a freethinker; in other words, a deist or possibly an atheist; for, although he didn't outright deny the existence of God, he completely rejected the idea of divine intervention. This belief, if it's not outright atheism, definitely leans toward it; and as Dr. Clarke notes, one can easily be pushed into atheism from this position. As for Mr. Booth, even though at heart he was a strong supporter of religion (since he was an honest man), his understanding of it was quite weak and uncertain. To be truthful, he was in the uncertain state so beautifully described by Claudian:

                          labefacta cadelat
     Religio, causaeque—viam non sponte sequebar
     Alterius; vacua quae currere semina motu
     Affirmat; magnumque novas fer inane figures
     Fortuna, non arte, regi; quae numina sensu
     Ambiguo, vel nulla futat, vel nescia nostri. — This way of thinking, or rather of doubting, he had contracted from the same reasons which Claudian assigns, and which had induced Brutus in his latter days to doubt the existence
of that virtue which he had all his life cultivated. In short, poor Booth imagined that a larger share of misfortunes had fallen to his lot than he had merited; and this led
him, who (though a good classical scholar) was not deeply learned in religious matters, into a disadvantageous opinion of Providence. A dangerous way of reasoning, in which our
conclusions are not only too hasty, from an imperfect view of things, but we are likewise liable to much error from partiality to ourselves; viewing our virtues and vices as
through a perspective, in which we turn the glass always to our own advantage, so as to diminish the one, and as greatly to magnify the other.
                          labefacta cadelat
     Religion and reasons—I wasn't following the path spontaneously
     of another; it claims that empty seeds run with motion
     and luck brings new empty shapes,
     governed not by skill; which deities, with a vague sense,
     either pay no attention to us or don't know us. — This way of thinking, or rather of doubting, he had adopted from the same reasons that Claudian mentions, which had led Brutus in his later years to question the existence
of the virtue he had dedicated his life to. In short, poor Booth believed that he had suffered more misfortunes than he deserved; and this caused him, who (though a solid classical scholar) wasn't deeply knowledgeable about religious matters, to develop a negative view of Providence. A dangerous line of reasoning where our conclusions are not only too quick due to an incomplete understanding, but we are also prone to errors from our self-bias; seeing our strengths and weaknesses as if through a lens that we always tilt to our own favor, diminishing one and greatly exaggerating the other.

From the above reasons, it can be no wonder that Mr. Booth did not decline the acquaintance of this person, in a place which could not promise to afford him any better. He answered him, therefore, with great courtesy, as indeed he was of a very good and gentle disposition, and, after expressing a civil surprize at meeting him there, declared himself to be of the same opinion with regard to the necessity of human actions; adding, however, that he did not believe men were under any blind impulse or direction of fate, but that every man acted merely from the force of that passion which was uppermost in his mind, and could do no otherwise.

Given the reasons above, it's no surprise that Mr. Booth didn't turn down the chance to meet this person in a place that didn’t offer anything better. So, he replied with great courtesy, as he was genuinely kind and gentle, and after expressing polite surprise at running into him there, he shared that he agreed about the importance of human actions. However, he added that he didn’t think people were driven by some blind force or fate; rather, he believed that everyone acted based on the strongest passion they felt at the moment and couldn’t do otherwise.

A discourse now ensued between the two gentlemen on the necessity arising from the impulse of fate, and the necessity arising from the impulse of passion, which, as it will make a pretty pamphlet of itself, we shall reserve for some future opportunity. When this was ended they set forward to survey the gaol and the prisoners, with the several cases of whom Mr. Robinson, who had been some time under confinement, undertook to make Mr. Booth acquainted.

A conversation then took place between the two gentlemen about the necessity that comes from fate and the necessity that comes from passion, which, as it will make a nice little pamphlet on its own, we’ll save for another time. Once they finished, they set out to inspect the jail and the prisoners, and Mr. Robinson, who had been in confinement for a while, took it upon himself to inform Mr. Booth about the various cases.










Chapter iv. — Disclosing further secrets of the prison-house.

The first persons whom they passed by were three men in fetters, who were enjoying themselves very merrily over a bottle of wine and a pipe of tobacco. These, Mr. Robinson informed his friend, were three street-robbers, and were all certain of being hanged the ensuing sessions. So inconsiderable an object, said he, is misery to light minds, when it is at any distance.

The first people they walked by were three men in chains, who were having a great time over a bottle of wine and a pipe of tobacco. Mr. Robinson told his friend that these were three street robbers, all sure they would be hanged at the next session. "Such a trivial thing," he said, "is misery to lighthearted people when it's far away."

A little farther they beheld a man prostrate on the ground, whose heavy groans and frantic actions plainly indicated the highest disorder of mind. This person was, it seems, committed for a small felony; and his wife, who then lay-in, upon hearing the news, had thrown herself from a window two pair of stairs high, by which means he had, in all probability, lost both her and his child.

A little further, they saw a man lying on the ground, whose loud groans and wild movements clearly showed he was in great distress. This man had apparently been locked up for a minor crime, and his wife, who was giving birth at the time, had jumped out of a window two flights up upon hearing the news, likely resulting in him losing both her and their child.

A very pretty girl then advanced towards them, whose beauty Mr. Booth could not help admiring the moment he saw her; declaring, at the same time, he thought she had great innocence in her countenance. Robinson said she was committed thither as an idle and disorderly person, and a common street-walker. As she past by Mr. Booth, she damned his eyes, and discharged a volley of words, every one of which was too indecent to be repeated.

A very pretty girl then walked up to them, whose beauty Mr. Booth couldn’t help but admire the moment he saw her; he noted that she seemed to have a look of great innocence on her face. Robinson said she had been sent there for being idle and unruly, and a common streetwalker. As she walked past Mr. Booth, she cursed at him and unleashed a stream of words, each one too vulgar to repeat.

They now beheld a little creature sitting by herself in a corner, and crying bitterly. This girl, Mr. Robinson said, was committed because her father-in-law, who was in the grenadier guards, had sworn that he was afraid of his life, or of some bodily harm which she would do him, and she could get no sureties for keeping the peace; for which reason justice Thrasher had committed her to prison.

They now saw a small creature sitting alone in a corner, crying hard. This girl, Mr. Robinson said, had been locked up because her father-in-law, who was in the grenadier guards, claimed he was afraid for his life or of some physical harm she might do to him, and she couldn't find anyone to guarantee her behavior; for this reason, Justice Thrasher had sent her to prison.

A great noise now arose, occasioned by the prisoners all flocking to see a fellow whipt for petty larceny, to which he was condemned by the court of quarter-sessions; but this soon ended in the disappointment of the spectators; for the fellow, after being stript, having advanced another sixpence, was discharged untouched.

A big commotion broke out as the prisoners gathered to watch a guy get whipped for petty theft, which he was sentenced to by the court of quarter-sessions. But this excitement quickly turned into disappointment for the crowd because, after being stripped, the guy handed over another sixpence and was let go without a punishment.

This was immediately followed by another bustle; Blear-eyed Moll, and several of her companions, having got possession of a man who was committed for certain odious unmanlike practices, not fit to be named, were giving him various kinds of discipline, and would probably have put an end to him, had he not been rescued out of their hands by authority.

This was quickly followed by another flurry; Blear-eyed Moll and a few of her friends had captured a man who was locked up for some shameful and unmanly actions that aren’t worth mentioning. They were dishing out all sorts of punishment and would likely have killed him if he hadn't been saved from them by the authorities.

When this bustle was a little allayed, Mr. Booth took notice of a young woman in rags sitting on the ground, and supporting the head of an old man in her lap, who appeared to be giving up the ghost. These, Mr. Robinson informed him, were father and daughter; that the latter was committed for stealing a loaf, in order to support the former, and the former for receiving it, knowing it to be stolen.

When the chaos settled down a bit, Mr. Booth noticed a young woman in tattered clothes sitting on the ground, cradling the head of an elderly man in her lap, who seemed to be at death's door. Mr. Robinson explained that they were father and daughter; the daughter had been jailed for stealing a loaf of bread to support her father, who was also arrested for receiving it, knowing it was stolen.

A well-drest man then walked surlily by them, whom Mr. Robinson reported to have been committed on an indictment found against him for a most horrid perjury; but, says he, we expect him to be bailed today. “Good Heaven!” cries Booth, “can such villains find bail, and is no person charitable enough to bail that poor father and daughter?” “Oh! sir,” answered Robinson, “the offence of the daughter, being felony, is held not to be bailable in law; whereas perjury is a misdemeanor only; and therefore persons who are even indicted for it are, nevertheless, capable of being bailed. Nay, of all perjuries, that of which this man is indicted is the worst; for it was with an intention of taking away the life of an innocent person by form of law. As to perjuries in civil matters, they are not so very criminal.” “They are not,” said Booth; “and yet even these are a most flagitious offence, and worthy the highest punishment.” “Surely they ought to be distinguished,” answered Robinson, “from the others: for what is taking away a little property from a man, compared to taking away his life and his reputation, and ruining his family into the bargain?—I hope there can be no comparison in the crimes, and I think there ought to be none in the punishment. However, at present, the punishment of all perjury is only pillory and transportation for seven years; and, as it is a traversable and bailable offence, methods are found to escape any punishment at all."{Footnote: By removing the indictment by certiorari into the King’s Bench, the trial is so long postponed, and the costs are so highly encreased, that prosecutors are often tired out, and some incapacitated from pursuing. Verbum sapienti.}

A well-dressed man then walked by them with an unpleasant demeanor, whom Mr. Robinson reported had been charged with a serious case of perjury; but, he added, we expect him to be out on bail today. "Good heavens!" exclaimed Booth, "how can such villains find bail, and is there no one charitable enough to bail that poor father and daughter?" "Oh, sir," Robinson replied, "the daughter’s offense, being a felony, is not bailable by law; whereas perjury is only a misdemeanor, so people indicted for it can still be granted bail. In fact, of all perjuries, the one this man is charged with is the worst because it was intended to unlawfully take the life of an innocent person. As for perjuries in civil cases, they aren't as serious." "They aren't," said Booth, "but even those are a disgraceful offense and deserve the highest punishment." "Surely they should be treated differently," Robinson answered, "because what is taking a bit of property from someone compared to taking their life and reputation, and ruining their family on top of that? I hope there’s no real comparison between these crimes, and I think the punishment should reflect that. However, right now, the punishment for all perjury is just a public humiliation and seven years of transportation; and since it’s a bailable and contestable offense, ways are found to avoid any punishment at all." {Footnote: By moving the indictment via certiorari to the King’s Bench, the trial gets delayed so long, and the costs become so high, that prosecutors often get discouraged, and some are unable to continue. Verbum sapienti.}

Booth exprest great astonishment at this, when his attention was suddenly diverted by the most miserable object that he had yet seen. This was a wretch almost naked, and who bore in his countenance, joined to an appearance of honesty, the marks of poverty, hunger, and disease. He had, moreover, a wooden leg, and two or three scars on his forehead. “The case of this poor man is, indeed, unhappy enough,” said Robinson. “He hath served his country, lost his limb, and received several wounds at the siege of Gibraltar. When he was discharged from the hospital abroad he came over to get into that of Chelsea, but could not immediately, as none of his officers were then in England. In the mean time, he was one day apprehended and committed hither on suspicion of stealing three herrings from a fishmonger. He was tried several months ago for this offence, and acquitted; indeed, his innocence manifestly appeared at the trial; but he was brought back again for his fees, and here he hath lain ever since.”

Booth expressed great astonishment at this when his attention was suddenly drawn to the most miserable sight he had seen yet. It was a man who was almost naked and had a face that, combined with an expression of honesty, showed the signs of poverty, hunger, and disease. He also had a wooden leg and two or three scars on his forehead. “The situation of this poor man is truly unfortunate,” said Robinson. “He served his country, lost his limb, and sustained several wounds during the siege of Gibraltar. When he was released from the hospital abroad, he came over to join the one in Chelsea, but he couldn't do so right away because none of his officers were in England at that time. In the meantime, one day he was arrested and brought here on suspicion of stealing three herrings from a fishmonger. He was tried a few months ago for this offense and found not guilty; in fact, his innocence was clearly evident at the trial. However, he was brought back here for his fees, and he has been stuck here ever since.”

Booth exprest great horror at this account, and declared, if he had only so much money in his pocket, he would pay his fees for him; but added that he was not possessed of a single farthing in the world.

Booth expressed great horror at this account and declared that if he had even a little money in his pocket, he would pay his fees for him; but he added that he didn’t have a single penny to his name.

Robinson hesitated a moment, and then said, with a smile, “I am going to make you, sir, a very odd proposal after your last declaration; but what say you to a game at cards? it will serve to pass a tedious hour, and may divert your thoughts from more unpleasant speculations.”

Robinson paused for a moment and then said with a smile, “I’m going to make you a pretty strange proposal after what you just said; but how about a game of cards? It’ll help pass the time and might take your mind off more uncomfortable thoughts.”

I do not imagine Booth would have agreed to this; for, though some love of gaming had been formerly amongst his faults, yet he was not so egregiously addicted to that vice as to be tempted by the shabby plight of Robinson, who had, if I may so express myself, no charms for a gamester. If he had, however, any such inclinations, he had no opportunity to follow them, for, before he could make any answer to Robinson’s proposal, a strapping wench came up to Booth, and, taking hold of his arm, asked him to walk aside with her; saying, “What a pox, are you such a fresh cull that you do not know this fellow? why, he is a gambler, and committed for cheating at play. There is not such a pickpocket in the whole quad."{Footnote: A cant word for a prison.}

I can't picture Booth agreeing to this; even though he used to have a bit of a gaming habit, he wasn't so heavily into it that he'd be swayed by Robinson's unfortunate situation, who really had no appeal for someone who enjoys gambling. If he had any interest in that direction, he didn’t have the chance to act on it, because before he could respond to Robinson’s offer, a strong woman approached Booth, took his arm, and asked him to step aside with her. She said, “What the hell, are you really so clueless that you don’t know this guy? He’s a gambler, locked up for cheating at cards. There’s no better pickpocket in the whole area.”{Footnote: A cant word for a prison.}

A scene of altercation now ensued between Robinson and the lady, which ended in a bout at fisticuffs, in which the lady was greatly superior to the philosopher.

A scene of conflict broke out between Robinson and the lady, which ended in a fistfight, in which the lady was much better than the philosopher.

While the two combatants were engaged, a grave-looking man, rather better drest than the majority of the company, came up to Mr. Booth, and, taking him aside, said, “I am sorry, sir, to see a gentleman, as you appear to be, in such intimacy with that rascal, who makes no scruple of disowning all revealed religion. As for crimes, they are human errors, and signify but little; nay, perhaps the worse a man is by nature, the more room there is for grace. The spirit is active, and loves best to inhabit those minds where it may meet with the most work. Whatever your crime be, therefore I would not have you despair, but rather rejoice at it; for perhaps it may be the means of your being called.” He ran on for a considerable time with this cant, without waiting for an answer, and ended in declaring himself a methodist.

While the two fighters were engaged, a serious-looking man, dressed better than most of the crowd, approached Mr. Booth and said, “I’m sorry, sir, to see someone like you getting close to that scoundrel, who has no problem rejecting all revealed religion. As for crimes, they’re just human mistakes and don’t mean much; in fact, maybe the worse someone is by nature, the more opportunity there is for grace. The spirit is active and prefers to be in minds where it can do the most work. Whatever your crime is, I wouldn’t want you to lose hope but instead to take joy in it; because it might be the reason you’re being called.” He went on for a long time with this talk, without waiting for a response, and ended by proclaiming himself a Methodist.

Just as the methodist had finished his discourse, a beautiful young woman was ushered into the gaol. She was genteel and well drest, and did not in the least resemble those females whom Mr. Booth had hitherto seen. The constable had no sooner delivered her at the gate than she asked with a commanding voice for the keeper; and, when he arrived, she said to him, “Well, sir, whither am I to be conducted? I hope I am not to take up my lodging with these creatures.” The keeper answered, with a kind of surly respect, “Madam, we have rooms for those who can afford to pay for them.” At these words she pulled a handsome purse from her pocket, in which many guineas chinked, saying, with an air of indignation, “That she was not come thither on account of poverty.” The keeper no sooner viewed the purse than his features became all softened in an instant; and, with all the courtesy of which he was master, he desired the lady to walk with him, assuring her that she should have the best apartment in his house.

Just as the Methodist finished his speech, a beautiful young woman was brought into the jail. She was elegant and well-dressed, and she looked nothing like the women Mr. Booth had seen before. As soon as the constable delivered her at the gate, she demanded in a commanding voice to see the keeper; when he arrived, she said, “Well, sir, where am I supposed to go? I hope I’m not going to stay with these people.” The keeper replied, with a somewhat grumpy but respectful attitude, “Madam, we have rooms for those who can afford them.” At these words, she pulled out a beautiful purse from her pocket, with many guineas clinking inside, and said indignantly, “I didn't come here because I'm poor.” As soon as the keeper saw the purse, his expression softened immediately; with all the politeness he could muster, he asked the lady to walk with him, assuring her that she would get the best room in his establishment.

Mr. Booth was now left alone; for the methodist had forsaken him, having, as the phrase of the sect is, searched him to the bottom. In fact, he had thoroughly examined every one of Mr. Booth’s pockets; from which he had conveyed away a penknife and an iron snuff-box, these being all the moveables which were to be found.

Mr. Booth was now alone; the Methodist had abandoned him, having, as the sect puts it, searched him thoroughly. In fact, he had examined every one of Mr. Booth’s pockets, from which he had taken a penknife and an iron snuffbox, these being all the valuables that could be found.

Booth was standing near the gate of the prison when the young lady above mentioned was introduced into the yard. He viewed her features very attentively, and was persuaded that he knew her. She was indeed so remarkably handsome, that it was hardly possible for any who had ever seen her to forget her. He enquired of one of the underkeepers if the name of the prisoner lately arrived was not Matthews; to which he was answered that her name was not Matthews but Vincent, and that she was committed for murder.

Booth was standing by the prison gate when the young lady mentioned above was brought into the yard. He looked at her closely and was convinced that he recognized her. She was so strikingly beautiful that anyone who had ever seen her could hardly forget her. He asked one of the guards if the name of the new prisoner was Matthews, to which he was told that her name was not Matthews but Vincent, and that she was charged with murder.

The latter part of this information made Mr. Booth suspect his memory more than the former; for it was very possible that she might have changed her name; but he hardly thought she could so far have changed her nature as to be guilty of a crime so very incongruous with her former gentle manners: for Miss Matthews had both the birth and education of a gentlewoman. He concluded, therefore, that he was certainly mistaken, and rested satisfied without any further enquiry.

The latter part of this information made Mr. Booth doubt his memory more than the earlier part; it was quite possible that she might have changed her name, but he didn't really think she could have changed her character to the extent that she would commit a crime so inconsistent with her previous gentle demeanor. After all, Miss Matthews had both the background and education of a lady. He concluded, therefore, that he was definitely mistaken and was satisfied without any further investigation.










Chapter v. — Containing certain adventures which befel Mr. Booth in the prison.

The remainder of the day Mr. Booth spent in melancholy contemplation on his present condition. He was destitute of the common necessaries of life, and consequently unable to subsist where he was; nor was there a single person in town to whom he could, with any reasonable hope, apply for his delivery. Grief for some time banished the thoughts of food from his mind; but in the morning nature began to grow uneasy for want of her usual nourishment: for he had not eat a morsel during the last forty hours. A penny loaf, which is, it seems, the ordinary allowance to the prisoners in Bridewell, was now delivered him; and while he was eating this a man brought him a little packet sealed up, informing him that it came by a messenger, who said it required no answer.

The rest of the day, Mr. Booth spent lost in sad thoughts about his current situation. He lacked the basic necessities of life and was therefore unable to survive where he was; there wasn't a single person in town he could reasonably hope to turn to for help. For a while, his grief made him forget about food, but by morning, his body started to get restless from the lack of its usual nourishment: he hadn’t eaten anything in the last forty hours. A penny loaf, which apparently is the normal ration for prisoners in Bridewell, was delivered to him now; and while he was eating it, a man brought him a small sealed packet, telling him it came by a messenger who said it didn’t need a reply.

Mr. Booth now opened his packet, and, after unfolding several pieces of blank paper successively, at last discovered a guinea, wrapt with great care in the inmost paper. He was vastly surprized at this sight, as he had few if any friends from whom he could expect such a favour, slight as it was; and not one of his friends, as he was apprized, knew of his confinement. As there was no direction to the packet, nor a word of writing contained in it, he began to suspect that it was delivered to the wrong person; and being one of the most untainted honesty, he found out the man who gave it him, and again examined him concerning the person who brought it, and the message delivered with it. The man assured Booth that he had made no mistake; saying, “If your name is Booth, sir, I am positive you are the gentleman to whom the parcel I gave you belongs.”

Mr. Booth opened his package and, after unfolding several pieces of blank paper, finally found a guinea carefully wrapped in the innermost layer. He was really surprised by this, as he had few, if any, friends from whom he could expect such a small favor; and none of his friends, as far as he knew, were aware of his confinement. Since there was no address on the package and no note inside, he started to think it might have been delivered to the wrong person. Being a person of great integrity, he tracked down the man who had given it to him and asked him again about who had delivered it and what message was given. The man assured Booth that there had been no mistake, saying, “If your name is Booth, sir, I’m sure you’re the gentleman this parcel is meant for.”

The most scrupulous honesty would, perhaps, in such a situation, have been well enough satisfied in finding no owner for the guinea; especially when proclamation had been made in the prison that Mr. Booth had received a packet without any direction, to which, if any person had any claim, and would discover the contents, he was ready to deliver it to such claimant. No such claimant being found (I mean none who knew the contents; for many swore that they expected just such a packet, and believed it to be their property), Mr. Booth very calmly resolved to apply the money to his own use.

The highest level of honesty would probably be satisfied in such a situation by not finding an owner for the guinea; especially after an announcement had been made in the prison that Mr. Booth had received a package with no return address, and that if anyone had a claim and could identify the contents, he was ready to give it to them. Since no one with a legitimate claim was found (I mean, no one who knew what was inside; many claimed they were expecting a package just like it and believed it was theirs), Mr. Booth calmly decided to use the money for himself.

The first thing after redemption of the coat, which Mr. Booth, hungry as he was, thought of, was to supply himself with snuff, which he had long, to his great sorrow, been without. On this occasion he presently missed that iron box which the methodist had so dexterously conveyed out of his pocket, as we mentioned in the last chapter.

The first thing Mr. Booth thought about after getting his coat back, even though he was really hungry, was to get some snuff, which he had sadly been without for a long time. This time, he quickly realized that iron box the Methodist had skillfully taken from his pocket, as we mentioned in the last chapter, was missing.

He no sooner missed this box than he immediately suspected that the gambler was the person who had stolen it; nay, so well was he assured of this man’s guilt, that it may, perhaps, be improper to say he barely suspected it. Though Mr. Booth was, as we have hinted, a man of a very sweet disposition, yet was he rather overwarm. Having, therefore, no doubt concerning the person of the thief, he eagerly sought him out, and very bluntly charged him with the fact.

He hardly realized the box was missing before he immediately suspected that the gambler was the one who had stolen it; in fact, he was so convinced of this guy’s guilt that it wouldn’t be wrong to say he hardly suspected it at all. Although Mr. Booth, as we’ve mentioned, had a very kind nature, he was a bit hot-headed. So, with no doubts about who the thief was, he eagerly went to find him and directly accused him of the crime.

The gambler, whom I think we should now call the philosopher, received this charge without the least visible emotion either of mind or muscle. After a short pause of a few moments, he answered, with great solemnity, as follows: “Young man, I am entirely unconcerned at your groundless suspicion. He that censures a stranger, as I am to you, without any cause, makes a worse compliment to himself than to the stranger. You know yourself, friend; you know not me. It is true, indeed, you heard me accused of being a cheat and a gamester; but who is my accuser? Look at my apparel, friend; do thieves and gamesters wear such cloaths as these? play is my folly, not my vice; it is my impulse, and I have been a martyr to it. Would a gamester have asked another to play when he could have lost eighteen-pence and won nothing? However, if you are not satisfied, you may search my pockets; the outside of all but one will serve your turn, and in that one there is the eighteen-pence I told you of.” He then turned up his cloaths; and his pockets entirely resembled the pitchers of the Belides.

The gambler, who I think we should now refer to as the philosopher, took this accusation without showing any visible emotion in his mind or body. After a brief pause, he replied with great seriousness: “Young man, I am completely unfazed by your baseless suspicion. To criticize a stranger, as I am to you, without any reason, reflects worse on yourself than on the stranger. You know yourself, friend; you don't know me. It’s true that you heard me accused of being a cheat and a gambler; but who is my accuser? Look at my clothes, friend; do thieves and gamblers wear outfits like this? Gambling is my weakness, not my sin; it’s an impulse, and I’ve suffered because of it. Would a gambler really invite someone to play if he could only lose eighteen pence and gain nothing? However, if you’re not convinced, feel free to search my pockets; all but one are clear, and in that one, you’ll find the eighteen pence I mentioned.” He then lifted his clothes, and his pockets looked just like the pitchers of the Belides.

Booth was a little staggered at this defence. He said the real value of the iron box was too inconsiderable to mention; but that he had a capricious value for it, for the sake of the person who gave it him; “for, though it is not,” said he, “worth sixpence, I would willingly give a crown to any one who would bring it me again.”

Booth was a bit taken aback by this defense. He said the actual value of the iron box was too low to discuss, but he had a sentimental value for it because of the person who gave it to him; “even though it’s not,” he said, “worth sixpence, I would gladly pay a crown to anyone who could bring it back to me.”

Robinson answered, “If that be the case, you have nothing more to do but to signify your intention in the prison, and I am well convinced you will not be long without regaining the possession of your snuff-box.”

Robinson replied, "If that's the case, all you need to do is let them know your intentions in the prison, and I'm sure it won't be long before you get your snuff-box back."

This advice was immediately followed, and with success, the methodist presently producing the box, which, he said, he had found, and should have returned it before, had he known the person to whom it belonged; adding, with uplifted eyes, that the spirit would not suffer him knowingly to detain the goods of another, however inconsiderable the value was. “Why so, friend?” said Robinson. “Have I not heard you often say, the wickeder any man was the better, provided he was what you call a believer?” “You mistake me,” cries Cooper (for that was the name of the methodist): “no man can be wicked after he is possessed by the spirit. There is a wide difference between the days of sin and the days of grace. I have been a sinner myself.” “I believe thee,” cries Robinson, with a sneer. “I care not,” answered the other, “what an atheist believes. I suppose you would insinuate that I stole the snuff-box; but I value not your malice; the Lord knows my innocence.” He then walked off with the reward; and Booth, turning to Robinson, very earnestly asked pardon for his groundless suspicion; which the other, without any hesitation, accorded him, saying, “You never accused me, sir; you suspected some gambler, with whose character I have no concern. I should be angry with a friend or acquaintance who should give a hasty credit to any allegation against me; but I have no reason to be offended with you for believing what the woman, and the rascal who is just gone, and who is committed here for a pickpocket, which you did not perhaps know, told you to my disadvantage. And if you thought me to be a gambler you had just reason to suspect any ill of me; for I myself am confined here by the perjury of one of those villains, who, having cheated me of my money at play, and hearing that I intended to apply to a magistrate against him, himself began the attack, and obtained a warrant against me of Justice Thrasher, who, without hearing one speech in my defence, committed me to this place.”

This advice was quickly followed, and successfully so, as the Methodist soon produced the box, claiming he had found it and would have returned it sooner if he had known whose it was; adding, with uplifted eyes, that his conscience wouldn't let him keep someone else's belongings, no matter how insignificant their value. “Why’s that, friend?” Robinson asked. “Haven't I heard you say that the worse a person is, the better, as long as they’re what you call a believer?” “You’ve got me wrong,” Cooper (that was the Methodist’s name) shouted: “No one can be wicked once they're filled with the spirit. There’s a big difference between a life of sin and a life of grace. I’ve been a sinner myself.” “I believe you,” Robinson said with a sneer. “I don’t care,” the other shot back, “what an atheist believes. I assume you’re suggesting I stole the snuff-box; but I don’t care about your spite; the Lord knows I’m innocent.” He then walked off with the reward, and Booth turned to Robinson and sincerely apologized for his unfounded suspicion, which Robinson readily accepted, saying, “You never accused me, sir; you suspected some gambler, whose reputation I don't care about. I’d be upset with a friend or acquaintance who believed any quick accusation against me; but I have no reason to be mad at you for believing what the woman and that rogue who just left—who’s currently locked up here for pickpocketing, which you might not have known—said against me. And if you thought I was a gambler, you had good reason to suspect the worst of me; because I’m stuck here due to the lies of one of those crooks, who cheated me out of my money in a game and, upon hearing I planned to report him to a magistrate, launched a counter-attack and got a warrant issued against me by Justice Thrasher, who, without even hearing my defense, tossed me in here.”

Booth testified great compassion at this account; and, he having invited Robinson to dinner, they spent that day together. In the afternoon Booth indulged his friend with a game at cards; at first for halfpence and afterwards for shillings, when fortune so favoured Robinson that he did not leave the other a single shilling in his pocket.

Booth showed a lot of kindness in this situation, and after inviting Robinson to dinner, they spent the day together. In the afternoon, Booth played a card game with his friend; they started playing for pennies and then switched to shillings, and by the end, luck was so on Robinson's side that he ended up leaving Booth with not a single shilling in his wallet.

A surprizing run of luck in a gamester is often mistaken for somewhat else by persons who are not over-zealous believers in the divinity of fortune. I have known a stranger at Bath, who hath happened fortunately (I might almost say unfortunately) to have four by honours in his hand almost every time he dealt for a whole evening, shunned universally by the whole company the next day. And certain it is, that Mr. Booth, though of a temper very little inclined to suspicion, began to waver in his opinion whether the character given by Mr. Robinson of himself, or that which the others gave of him, was the truer.

A surprising streak of luck in a gambler is often mistaken for something else by people who don't completely believe in the randomness of fate. I once met a stranger in Bath who happened—almost unfortunately—to have four honors in his hand nearly every time he dealt for an entire evening, only to be completely shunned by the whole company the next day. And it's clear that Mr. Booth, despite being someone who isn't easily suspicious, started to question whether the image Mr. Robinson had of himself or the one that others had of him was the more accurate one.

In the morning hunger paid him a second visit, and found him again in the same situation as before. After some deliberation, therefore, he resolved to ask Robinson to lend him a shilling or two of that money which was lately his own. And this experiments he thought, would confirm him either in a good or evil opinion of that gentleman.

In the morning, hunger returned to him, and he found himself in the same situation as before. After some thought, he decided to ask Robinson to lend him a shilling or two of the money that had recently been his. He believed this experiment would help him form a better or worse opinion of that gentleman.

To this demand Robinson answered, with great alacrity, that he should very gladly have complied, had not fortune played one of her jade tricks with him: “for since my winning of you,” said he, “I have been stript not only of your money but my own.” He was going to harangue farther; but Booth, with great indignation, turned from him.

To this request, Robinson replied eagerly that he would have happily complied, if luck hadn’t pulled a fast one on him: “Since winning you,” he said, “I have lost not only your money but my own as well.” He was about to continue, but Booth, filled with anger, turned away from him.

This poor gentleman had very little time to reflect on his own misery, or the rascality, as it appeared to him, of the other, when the same person who had the day before delivered him the guinea from the unknown hand, again accosted him, and told him a lady in the house (so he expressed himself) desired the favour of his company.

This poor guy hardly had any time to think about his own misery or the trickery, as he saw it, of the other person, when the same man who had given him the guinea from the unknown hand the day before approached him again and said that a lady in the house (as he put it) wanted to have him over.

Mr. Booth immediately obeyed the message, and was conducted into a room in the prison, where he was presently convinced that Mrs. Vincent was no other than his old acquaintance Miss Matthews.

Mr. Booth quickly followed the message and was taken into a room in the prison, where he soon realized that Mrs. Vincent was actually his old friend Miss Matthews.










Chapter vi. — Containing the extraordinary behaviour of Miss Matthews on her meeting with Booth, and some endeavours to prove, by reason and authority, that it is possible for a woman to appear to be what she really is not.

Eight or nine years had past since any interview between Mr. Booth and Miss Matthews; and their meeting now in so extraordinary a place affected both of them with an equal surprize.

Eight or nine years had passed since Mr. Booth and Miss Matthews last met, and seeing each other now in such an unusual place surprised both of them equally.

After some immaterial ceremonies, the lady acquainted Mr. Booth that, having heard there was a person in the prison who knew her by the name of Matthews, she had great curiosity to inquire who he was, whereupon he had been shewn to her from the window of the house; that she immediately recollected him, and, being informed of his distressful situation, for which she expressed great concern, she had sent him that guinea which he had received the day before; and then proceeded to excuse herself for not having desired to see him at that time, when she was under the greatest disorder and hurry of spirits.

After some brief ceremonies, the lady told Mr. Booth that she had heard there was someone in the prison who knew her by the name of Matthews, and she was very curious to find out who he was. He was then shown to her from the window of the house; she instantly recognized him and, upon learning about his difficult situation—which she expressed great concern for—she had sent him that guinea he received the day before. She then went on to explain why she hadn’t asked to see him at that moment, as she was feeling very upset and rushed.

Booth made many handsome acknowledgments of her favour; and added that he very little wondered at the disorder of her spirits, concluding that he was heartily concerned at seeing her there; “but I hope, madam,” said he—

Booth gave her many flattering compliments and noted that he wasn’t surprised at her emotional state, adding that he was genuinely worried to see her like that; “but I hope, madam,” he said—

Here he hesitated; upon which, bursting into an agony of tears, she cried out, “O captain! captain! many extraordinary things have passed since last I saw you. O gracious heaven! did I ever expect that this would be the next place of our meeting?”

Here he hesitated; then, bursting into tears, she cried out, “Oh captain! captain! so many incredible things have happened since I last saw you. Oh gracious heaven! did I ever think this would be where we’d meet next?”

She then flung herself into her chair, where she gave a loose to her passion, whilst he, in the most affectionate and tender manner, endeavoured to soothe and comfort her; but passion itself did probably more for its own relief than all his friendly consolations. Having vented this in a large flood of tears, she became pretty well composed; but Booth unhappily mentioning her father, she again relapsed into an agony, and cried out, “Why? why will you repeat the name of that dear man? I have disgraced him, Mr. Booth, I am unworthy the name of his daughter.”—Here passion again stopped her words, and discharged itself in tears.

She then threw herself into her chair, where she let her emotions out, while he, in the most caring and gentle way, tried to soothe and comfort her; but her emotions likely helped her feel better more than all his kind words. After releasing her feelings in a flood of tears, she became somewhat composed; but Booth unfortunately mentioned her father, and she fell back into despair, crying out, “Why? Why do you keep saying that dear man's name? I've brought shame on him, Mr. Booth, I don't deserve to be called his daughter.” — Here, her emotions again took over, and she burst into tears.

After this second vent of sorrow or shame, or, if the reader pleases, of rage, she once more recovered from her agonies. To say the truth, these are, I believe, as critical discharges of nature as any of those which are so called by the physicians, and do more effectually relieve the mind than any remedies with which the whole materia medica of philosophy can supply it.

After this second outpouring of sadness, shame, or, if the reader prefers, anger, she once again recovered from her pain. Honestly, I believe these are just as essential for the body as any of those labeled by doctors, and they relieve the mind more effectively than any treatments that the entire philosophical toolkit can offer.

When Mrs. Vincent had recovered her faculties, she perceived Booth standing silent, with a mixture of concern and astonishment in his countenance; then addressing herself to him with an air of most bewitching softness, of which she was a perfect mistress, she said, “I do not wonder at your amazement, Captain Booth, nor indeed at the concern which you so plainly discover for me; for I well know the goodness of your nature: but, O, Mr. Booth! believe me, when you know what hath happened since our last meeting, your concern will be raised, however your astonishment may cease. O, sir! you are a stranger to the cause of my sorrows.”

When Mrs. Vincent regained her senses, she noticed Booth standing quietly, clearly showing a mix of worry and surprise on his face. Then, turning to him with an enchantingly soft tone that she mastered perfectly, she said, “I’m not surprised by your shock, Captain Booth, or by the concern you obviously have for me; I know well how good-hearted you are. But, oh, Mr. Booth! Trust me, once you learn what has happened since we last met, your worry will deepen, even if your surprise fades. Oh, sir! You have no idea what’s behind my sorrows.”

“I hope I am, madam,” answered he; “for I cannot believe what I have heard in the prison—surely murder”—at which words she started from her chair, repeating, “Murder! oh! it is music in my ears!—You have heard then the cause of my commitment, my glory, my delight, my reparation! Yes, my old friend, this is the hand, this is the arm that drove the penknife to his heart. Unkind fortune, that not one drop of his blood reached my hand.—Indeed, sir, I would never have washed it from it.—But, though I have not the happiness to see it on my hand, I have the glorious satisfaction of remembering I saw it run in rivers on the floor; I saw it forsake his cheeks, I saw him fall a martyr to my revenge. And is the killing a villain to be called murder? perhaps the law calls it so.—Let it call it what it will, or punish me as it pleases.—-Punish me!—no, no—-that is not in the power of man—not of that monster man, Mr. Booth. I am undone, am revenged, and have now no more business for life; let them take it from me when they will.”

“I hope I am, ma'am,” he replied; “because I can’t believe what I heard in prison—surely murder”—at which she jumped up from her chair, repeating, “Murder! Oh! it sounds like music to my ears!—So you've heard the reason for my imprisonment, my glory, my delight, my vindication! Yes, my old friend, this is the hand, this is the arm that drove the knife into his heart. Unfortunate fate, that not even a drop of his blood touched my hand.—Honestly, I wouldn’t have washed it off anyway.—But even though I don’t have the joy of seeing it on my hand, I have the glorious satisfaction of remembering how it flowed like rivers on the floor; I saw it leave his cheeks, I saw him fall a martyr to my revenge. And is killing a villain really called murder? Maybe the law says so.—Let it call it whatever it wants, or punish me however it pleases.—Punish me!—no, no—that’s not in the power of man—not of that monstrous man, Mr. Booth. I am finished, I am avenged, and I have no more reason to live; let them take my life whenever they want.”

Our poor gentleman turned pale with horror at this speech, and the ejaculation of “Good heavens! what do I hear?” burst spontaneously from his lips; nor can we wonder at this, though he was the bravest of men; for her voice, her looks, her gestures, were properly adapted to the sentiments she exprest. Such indeed was her image, that neither could Shakspear describe, nor Hogarth paint, nor Clive act, a fury in higher perfection.

Our poor gentleman went pale with shock at this statement, and he exclaimed, “Good heavens! What am I hearing?” which came out without him even thinking. It's not surprising, even though he was one of the bravest men, because her voice, her expression, and her gestures perfectly matched the emotions she conveyed. In fact, her image was such that neither Shakespeare could describe it, nor Hogarth could paint it, nor Clive could act it—not even a fury in higher perfection.

{Illustration: She then gave a loose to her passions}

{Illustration: She then let her emotions run free}

“What do you hear?” reiterated she. “You hear the resentment of the most injured of women. You have heard, you say, of the murder; but do you know the cause, Mr. Booth? Have you since your return to England visited that country where we formerly knew one another? tell me, do you know my wretched story? tell me that, my friend.”

“What do you hear?” she repeated. “You hear the anger of the most wronged woman. You say you've heard about the murder; but do you know the reason behind it, Mr. Booth? Since you’ve come back to England, have you visited the place where we used to know each other? Tell me, do you know my terrible story? Please tell me that, my friend.”

Booth hesitated for an answer; indeed, he had heard some imperfect stories, not much to her advantage. She waited not till he had formed a speech; but cried, “Whatever you may have heard, you cannot be acquainted with all the strange accidents which have occasioned your seeing me in a place which at our last parting was so unlikely that I should ever have been found in; nor can you know the cause of all that I have uttered, and which, I am convinced, you never expected to have heard from my mouth. If these circumstances raise your curiosity, I will satisfy it.”

Booth hesitated to respond; he had indeed heard some incomplete stories, not exactly painting her in a good light. She didn’t wait for him to find the right words; instead, she exclaimed, “No matter what you’ve heard, you can’t possibly know all the strange events that led to my being in a place where, at our last goodbye, it seemed so unlikely I would ever be found; nor can you understand the reasons behind everything I’ve said, which I’m sure you never expected to hear from me. If these circumstances pique your curiosity, I’ll gladly explain.”

He answered, that curiosity was too mean a word to express his ardent desire of knowing her story. Upon which, with very little previous ceremony, she began to relate what is written in the following chapter.

He replied that curiosity was too trivial a word to capture his intense desire to know her story. With very little formality, she started to share what is written in the following chapter.

But before we put an end to this it may be necessary to whisper a word or two to the critics, who have, perhaps, begun to express no less astonishment than Mr. Booth, that a lady in whom we had remarked a most extraordinary power of displaying softness should, the very next moment after the words were out of her mouth, express sentiments becoming the lips of a Dalila, Jezebel, Medea, Semiramis, Parysatis, Tanaquil, Livilla, Messalina, Agrippina, Brunichilde, Elfrida, Lady Macbeth, Joan of Naples, Christina of Sweden, Katharine Hays, Sarah Malcolm, Con Philips,{Footnote: Though last not least.} or any other heroine of the tender sex, which history, sacred or profane, ancient or modern, false or true, hath recorded.

But before we wrap this up, it might be necessary to say a word or two to the critics, who have probably started to express as much surprise as Mr. Booth did, that a lady known for her remarkable ability to show softness could, just moments after speaking, express feelings worthy of someone like Dalila, Jezebel, Medea, Semiramis, Parysatis, Tanaquil, Livilla, Messalina, Agrippina, Brunichilde, Elfrida, Lady Macbeth, Joan of Naples, Christina of Sweden, Katharine Hays, Sarah Malcolm, Con Philips,{Footnote: Though last not least.} or any other heroine of the fairer sex recorded in history, whether sacred or profane, ancient or modern, real or fictional.

We desire such critics to remember that it is the same English climate, in which, on the lovely 10th of June, under a serene sky, the amorous Jacobite, kissing the odoriferous zephyr’s breath, gathers a nosegay of white roses to deck the whiter breast of Celia; and in which, on the 11th of June, the very next day, the boisterous Boreas, roused by the hollow thunder, rushes horrible through the air, and, driving the wet tempest before him, levels the hope of the husbandman with the earth, dreadful remembrance of the consequences of the Revolution.

We want critics to keep in mind that it's the same English weather where, on the beautiful 10th of June, under a clear sky, the lovesick Jacobite, savoring the fragrant breeze, picks a bouquet of white roses to adorn the fair breast of Celia; and where, the very next day, on the 11th of June, the wild Boreas, stirred by the loud thunder, blasts through the air, bringing the heavy rainstorm with him, destroying the farmer's hopes along with the ground, a terrifying reminder of the repercussions of the Revolution.

Again, let it be remembered that this is the selfsame Celia, all tender, soft, and delicate, who with a voice, the sweetness of which the Syrens might envy, warbles the harmonious song in praise of the young adventurer; and again, the next day, or, perhaps the next hour, with fiery eyes, wrinkled brows, and foaming lips, roars forth treason and nonsense in a political argument with some fair one of a different principle.

Again, let it be remembered that this is the same Celia, all tender, soft, and delicate, who with a voice so sweet that even the Sirens might envy her, sings the beautiful song in praise of the young adventurer; and then, the next day, or maybe even the next hour, with fiery eyes, wrinkled brows, and foaming lips, shouts out treason and nonsense in a political argument with some lovely person who holds a different opinion.

Or, if the critic be a Whig, and consequently dislikes such kind of similes, as being too favourable to Jacobitism, let him be contented with the following story:

Or, if the critic is a Whig and therefore dislikes these kinds of similes because they seem too supportive of Jacobitism, let him be satisfied with the following story:

I happened in my youth to sit behind two ladies in a side-box at a play, where, in the balcony on the opposite side, was placed the inimitable B—-y C—-s, in company with a young fellow of no very formal, or indeed sober, appearance. One of the ladies, I remember, said to the other—“Did you ever see anything look so modest and so innocent as that girl over the way? what pity it is such a creature should be in the way of ruin, as I am afraid she is, by her being alone with that young fellow!” Now this lady was no bad physiognomist, for it was impossible to conceive a greater appearance of modesty, innocence, and simplicity, than what nature had displayed in the countenance of that girl; and yet, all appearances notwithstanding, I myself (remember, critic, it was in my youth) had a few mornings before seen that very identical picture of all those engaging qualities in bed with a rake at a bagnio, smoaking tobacco, drinking punch, talking obscenity, and swearing and cursing with all the impudence and impiety of the lowest and most abandoned trull of a soldier.

In my younger days, I found myself sitting behind two women in a side box at a play. Across the balcony, there was the unforgettable B—-y C—-s, accompanied by a young man who looked anything but formal or sober. I remember one of the women said to the other, “Have you ever seen anyone look as modest and innocent as that girl over there? It’s such a shame she might be heading for ruin just being alone with that young man!” This woman was no stranger to reading faces, as it was hard to imagine anyone looking as modest, innocent, and simple as that girl did. Yet, despite appearances, I had, just a few mornings earlier, seen that very same girl in bed with a raucous man at a brothel, smoking tobacco, drinking punch, making crude jokes, and swearing with all the boldness and disrespect of the most shameless soldier’s whore.










Chapter vii. — In which Miss Matthews begins her history.

Miss Matthews, having barred the door on the inside as securely as it was before barred on the outside, proceeded as follows:

Miss Matthews, having locked the door from the inside as securely as it was locked from the outside, proceeded as follows:

“You may imagine I am going to begin my history at the time when you left the country; but I cannot help reminding you of something which happened before. You will soon recollect the incident; but I believe you little know the consequence either at that time or since. Alas! I could keep a secret then! now I have no secrets; the world knows all; and it is not worth my while to conceal anything. Well!—You will not wonder, I believe.—I protest I can hardly tell it you, even now.—-But I am convinced you have too good an opinion of yourself to be surprized at any conquest you may have made.—-Few men want that good opinion—and perhaps very few had ever more reason for it. Indeed, Will, you was a charming fellow in those days; nay, you are not much altered for the worse now, at least in the opinion of some women; for your complexion and features are grown much more masculine than they were.” Here Booth made her a low bow, most probably with a compliment; and after a little hesitation she again proceeded.—-“Do you remember a contest which happened at an assembly, betwixt myself and Miss Johnson, about standing uppermost? you was then my partner; and young Williams danced with the other lady. The particulars are not now worth mentioning, though I suppose you have long since forgot them. Let it suffice that you supported my claim, and Williams very sneakingly gave up that of his partner, who was, with much difficulty, afterwards prevailed to dance with him. You said—I am sure I repeat the words exactly—that you would not for the world affront any lady there; but that you thought you might, without any such danger declare, that there was no assembly in which that lady, meaning your humble servant, was not worthy of the uppermost place; ‘nor will I,’ said you, ‘suffer, the first duke in England, when she is at the uppermost end of the room, and hath called her dance, to lead his partner above her.’

“You might think I'm going to start my story from the time you left the country, but I have to remind you of something that happened before that. You'll probably remember the event, but I don’t think you realize the impact it had, both then and since. Sadly, I was able to keep a secret back then! Now, I have no secrets; the world knows everything, and it’s not worth hiding anything. Well!—You won't be surprised, I think.—I honestly can hardly tell you this, even now.—But I'm sure you have too high an opinion of yourself to be shocked by any successes you might have had.—Few guys have that kind of good opinion—and maybe very few had more reason for it. Honestly, Will, you were a charming guy back then; and not much has changed for the worse, at least in the eyes of some women, because your looks have become a lot more masculine than they used to be.” Here, Booth gave her a slight bow, probably as a compliment; and after a moment of hesitation, she continued. —“Do you remember a contest that happened at an assembly between me and Miss Johnson about who would be in the first position? You were my partner, and young Williams danced with the other lady. The specifics aren’t worth mentioning now, though I guess you've forgotten them a long time ago. Let’s just say that you backed my claim, and Williams rather sneakily conceded his partner’s claim, who was, with great difficulty, later convinced to dance with him. You said—I’m sure I’m quoting you exactly—that you wouldn’t for the world offend any lady there; but you thought you could, without any risk, state that there was no assembly where that lady, meaning yours truly, didn’t deserve the top position; ‘nor will I,’ you said, ‘allow the first duke in England, when she’s at the first position in the room and has called her dance, to lead his partner above her.’”

“What made this the more pleasing to me was, that I secretly hated Miss Johnson. Will you have the reason? why, then, I will tell you honestly, she was my rival. That word perhaps astonishes you, as you never, I believe, heard of any one who made his addresses to me; and indeed my heart was, till that night, entirely indifferent to all mankind: I mean, then, that she was my rival for praise, for beauty, for dress, for fortune, and consequently for admiration. My triumph on this conquest is not to be expressed any more than my delight in the person to whom I chiefly owed it. The former, I fancy, was visible to the whole company; and I desired it should be so; but the latter was so well concealed, that no one, I am confident, took any notice of it. And yet you appeared to me that night to be an angel. You looked, you danced, you spoke-everything charmed me.”

"What made this even more enjoyable for me was that I secretly hated Miss Johnson. Want to know why? I'll tell you honestly: she was my rival. That word might surprise you since I don't think you've ever heard of anyone pursuing me; and truthfully, until that night, I was completely indifferent to everyone else. What I mean is that she was my competitor for praise, beauty, fashion, wealth, and as a result, admiration. My victory in this battle is hard to describe, just like my joy in the person to whom I mostly owe it. The former, I believe, was obvious to everyone at the party, and I wanted it to be so; but the latter was so well hidden that I'm sure no one noticed it. And yet, that night, you appeared to me like an angel. You looked amazing, you danced beautifully, you spoke—everything about you enchanted me."

“Good Heavens!” cries Booth, “is it possible you should do me so much unmerited honour, and I should be dunce enough not to perceive the least symptom?”

“Good heavens!” Booth exclaims, “is it really possible that you would give me such unwarranted praise, and I would be foolish enough not to notice the slightest hint?”

“I assure you,” answered she, “I did all I could to prevent you; and yet I almost hated you for not seeing through what I strove to hide. Why, Mr. Booth, was you not more quick-sighted?—I will answer for you—your affections were more happily disposed of to a much better woman than myself, whom you married soon afterwards. I should ask you for her, Mr. Booth; I should have asked you for her before; but I am unworthy of asking for her, or of calling her my acquaintance.”

“I assure you,” she replied, “I did everything I could to stop you; and yet I almost hated you for not seeing through what I tried to hide. Why, Mr. Booth, weren’t you more perceptive?—I’ll answer that for you—your feelings were better directed toward a much better woman than me, whom you married soon after. I should ask you about her, Mr. Booth; I should have asked you about her earlier; but I don’t feel worthy of asking for her or of calling her my friend.”

Booth stopt her short, as she was running into another fit of passion, and begged her to omit all former matters, and acquaint him with that part of her history to which he was an entire stranger.

Booth cut her off quickly as she was about to get worked up again, and asked her to set aside everything that had happened before and share with him the part of her story that he didn’t know at all.

She then renewed her discourse as follows: “You know, Mr. Booth, I soon afterwards left that town, upon the death of my grandmother, and returned home to my father’s house; where I had not been long arrived before some troops of dragoons came to quarter in our neighbourhood. Among the officers there was a cornet whose detested name was Hebbers, a name I could scarce repeat, had I not at the same time the pleasure to reflect that he is now no more. My father, you know, who is a hearty well-wisher to the present government, used always to invite the officers to his house; so did he these. Nor was it long before this cornet in so particular a manner recommended himself to the poor old gentleman (I cannot think of him without tears), that our house became his principal habitation, and he was rarely at his quarters, unless when his superior officers obliged him to be there. I shall say nothing of his person, nor could that be any recommendation to a man; it was such, however, as no woman could have made an objection to. Nature had certainly wrapt up her odious work in a most beautiful covering. To say the truth, he was the handsomest man, except one only, that I ever saw—I assure you, I have seen a handsomer—-but—well.—He had, besides, all the qualifications of a gentleman; was genteel and extremely polite; spoke French well, and danced to a miracle; but what chiefly recommended him to my father was his skill in music, of which you know that dear man was the most violent lover. I wish he was not too susceptible of flattery on that head; for I have heard Hebbers often greatly commend my father’s performance, and have observed that the good man was wonderfully pleased with such commendations. To say the truth, it is the only way I can account for the extraordinary friendship which my father conceived for this person; such a friendship, that he at last became a part of our family.

She then continued her story like this: “You know, Mr. Booth, I soon left that town after my grandmother passed away and returned home to my father’s house. I hadn’t been there long before some troops of dragoons settled in our area. Among the officers was a cornet whose hated name was Hebbers, a name I could barely say, if I didn’t also take comfort in knowing he’s no longer alive. My father, as you know, is a strong supporter of the current government and always invited the officers to our home; he welcomed these officers too. It wasn’t long before this cornet ingratiated himself with my poor old father (I can’t think of him without tearing up), and our house became his main residence, with him rarely at his quarters unless his superior officers insisted he be there. I won’t discuss his appearance, nor could that be a recommendation for a man; however, it was such that no woman could complain about it. Nature had certainly concealed her unpleasant handiwork under a beautiful facade. Honestly, he was the most handsome man I’ve ever seen, except for one other—it’s true, I have seen a handsomer man—but—well. He also had all the qualities of a gentleman; he was stylish and incredibly polite, spoke French well, and danced like a dream. But what really won my father over was his musical talent, of which you know my father was an ardent admirer. I wish he weren’t so easily flattered in that regard, because I’ve heard Hebbers praise my father’s playing often, and I noticed how much it delighted the old man to receive such compliments. To be honest, it’s the only explanation I have for the unusual friendship my father developed with this person; a friendship so strong that he eventually became part of our family.”

“This very circumstance, which, as I am convinced, strongly recommended him to my father, had the very contrary effect with me: I had never any delight in music, and it was not without much difficulty I was prevailed on to learn to play on the harpsichord, in which I had made a very slender progress. As this man, therefore, was frequently the occasion of my being importuned to play against my will, I began to entertain some dislike for him on that account; and as to his person, I assure you, I long continued to look on it with great indifference.

“This situation, which I’m sure made him very appealing to my father, had the opposite effect on me: I never enjoyed music, and it took a lot of convincing for me to learn how to play the harpsichord, where I made only a little progress. Since this guy often caused me to be pushed into playing against my will, I started to develop a dislike for him because of that; and as for his appearance, I can honestly say I remained pretty indifferent to it for a long time.”

“How strange will the art of this man appear to you presently, who had sufficient address to convert that very circumstance which had at first occasioned my dislike into the first seeds of affection for him!

“How strange will the art of this man seem to you now, who had the skill to turn that very thing which initially caused my dislike into the first sparks of affection for him!

“You have often, I believe, heard my sister Betty play on the harpsichord; she was, indeed, reputed the best performer in the whole country.

“You’ve probably heard my sister Betty play the harpsichord; she was actually known as the best performer in the entire country."

“I was the farthest in the world from regarding this perfection of hers with envy. In reality, perhaps, I despised all perfection of this kind: at least, as I had neither skill nor ambition to excel this way, I looked upon it as a matter of mere indifference.

“I was the farthest thing from feeling envious of her perfection. In reality, maybe I even looked down on that kind of perfection: at least, since I had neither the talent nor the desire to excel in that way, I viewed it as something I just didn’t care about.”

“Hebbers first put this emulation in my head. He took great pains to persuade me that I had much greater abilities of the musical kind than my sister, and that I might with the greatest ease, if I pleased, excel her; offering me, at the same time, his assistance if I would resolve to undertake it.

“Hebbers was the first to plant this idea in my mind. He worked hard to convince me that I had much greater musical talent than my sister, and that I could easily surpass her if I wanted to; at the same time, he offered to help me if I decided to take it on.

“When he had sufficiently inflamed my ambition, in which, perhaps, he found too little difficulty, the continual praises of my sister, which before I had disregarded, became more and more nauseous in my ears; and the rather, as, music being the favourite passion of my father, I became apprehensive (not without frequent hints from Hebbers of that nature) that she might gain too great a preference in his favour.

“When he had sufficiently stirred my ambition, which he probably found easy to do, my sister's constant praise, which I had previously ignored, became more and more irritating to me; especially since, with music being my father's favorite passion, I grew increasingly worried (not without frequent hints from Hebbers about it) that she might gain too much favor in his eyes.”

“To my harpsichord then I applied myself night and day, with such industry and attention, that I soon began to perform in a tolerable manner. I do not absolutely say I excelled my sister, for many were of a different opinion; but, indeed, there might be some partiality in all that.

“To my harpsichord then I dedicated myself day and night, with so much effort and focus, that I quickly started to play pretty well. I can’t say I was better than my sister, as many would disagree; but, honestly, there might be some bias in that.”

“Hebbers, at least, declared himself on my side, and nobody could doubt his judgment. He asserted openly that I played in the better manner of the two; and one day, when I was playing to him alone, he affected to burst into a rapture of admiration, and, squeezing me gently by the hand, said, There, madam, I now declare you excel your sister as much in music as, added he in a whispering sigh, you do her, and all the world, in every other charm.

“Hebbers, at least, declared he was on my side, and no one could question his judgment. He openly stated that I played better than my sister. One day, while I was playing just for him, he pretended to be overwhelmed with admiration, and after squeezing my hand gently, he said, 'There, madam, I now declare you excel your sister in music just as much as,' he added with a sigh, 'you do in every other charm over her and everyone else.'”

“No woman can bear any superiority in whatever thing she desires to excel in. I now began to hate all the admirers of my sister, to be uneasy at every commendation bestowed on her skill in music, and consequently to love Hebbers for the preference which he gave to mine.

“No woman can tolerate any superiority in whatever she wishes to excel in. I started to resent all the admirers of my sister, to feel uneasy about every compliment she received for her musical talent, and as a result, to appreciate Hebbers for the preference he showed for my abilities.”

“It was now that I began to survey the handsome person of Hebbers with pleasure. And here, Mr. Booth, I will betray to you the grand secret of our sex.—-Many women, I believe, do, with great innocence, and even with great indifference, converse with men of the finest persons; but this I am confident may be affirmed with truth, that, when once a woman comes to ask this question of herself, Is the man whom I like for some other reason, handsome? her fate and his too, very strongly depend on her answering in the affirmative.

“It was at this moment that I started to appreciate Hebbers' good looks. And here, Mr. Booth, let me reveal to you the great secret of our gender. Many women, I believe, talk to men who are very attractive with a sense of innocence and even indifference. However, I can confidently say that once a woman starts to ask herself the question, Is the man I like for some other reason also good-looking?, her future—and his—depends heavily on her answering yes.”

“Hebbers no sooner perceived that he had made an impression on my heart, of which I am satisfied I gave him too undeniable tokens, than he affected on a sudden to shun me in the most apparent manner. He wore the most melancholy air in my presence, and, by his dejected looks and sighs, firmly persuaded me that there was some secret sorrow labouring in his bosom; nor will it be difficult for you to imagine to what cause I imputed it.

“Hebbers quickly realized that he had made an impression on my heart, which I know I showed him too clearly. Suddenly, he started to avoid me in the most obvious way. He acted so gloomy when I was around, and with his sad expressions and sighs, he strongly convinced me that he was hiding some deep sorrow. It won’t be hard for you to guess what I thought was the reason.”

“Whilst I was wishing for his declaration of a passion in which I thought I could not be mistaken, and at the same time trembling whenever we met with the apprehension of this very declaration, the widow Carey came from London to make us a visit, intending to stay the whole summer at our house.

“While I was hoping for him to confess a love I thought I couldn't be wrong about, I also felt nervous every time we met, worried about this very confession. Then, the widow Carey came from London to visit us, planning to stay the entire summer at our house.”

“Those who know Mrs. Carey will scarce think I do her an injury in saying she is far from being handsome; and yet she is as finished a coquette as if she had the highest beauty to support that character. But perhaps you have seen her; and if you have I am convinced you will readily subscribe to my opinion.”

“Those who know Mrs. Carey will hardly think I’m being unkind by saying she’s not exactly beautiful; yet she is as much of a flirt as if she had the most stunning looks to back that up. But maybe you’ve seen her; if you have, I’m sure you’ll agree with me.”

Booth answered he had not; and then she proceeded as in the following chapter.

Booth replied that he hadn't, and then she continued as in the following chapter.










Chapter viii. — The history of Miss Matthews continued.

“This young lady had not been three days with us before Hebbers grew so particular with her, that it was generally observed; and my poor father, who, I believe, loved the cornet as if he had been his son, began to jest on the occasion, as one who would not be displeased at throwing a good jointure into the arms of his friend.

“This young lady hadn’t been with us for three days before Hebbers became so attentive to her that everyone noticed. My poor father, who I believe loved the cornet like he was his own son, started to make jokes about it, as someone who wouldn’t mind giving a good inheritance to his friend.”

“You will easily guess, sir, the disposition of my mind on this occasion; but I was not permitted to suffer long under it; for one day, when Hebbers was alone with me, he took an opportunity of expressing his abhorrence at the thoughts of marrying for interest, contrary to his inclinations. I was warm on the subject, and, I believe, went so far as to say that none but fools and villains did so. He replied, with a sigh, Yes, madam, but what would you think of a man whose heart is all the while bleeding for another woman, to whom he would willingly sacrifice the world; but, because he must sacrifice her interest as well as his own, never durst even give her a hint of that passion which was preying on his very vitals? ‘Do you believe, Miss Fanny, there is such a wretch on earth?’ I answered, with an assumed coldness, I did not believe there was. He then took me gently by the hand, and, with a look so tender that I cannot describe it, vowed he was himself that wretch. Then starting, as if conscious of an error committed, he cried with a faltering voice, ‘What am I saying? Pardon me, Miss Fanny; since I beg only your pity, I never will ask for more.—’ At these words, hearing my father coming up, I betrayed myself entirely, if, indeed, I had not done it before. I hastily withdrew my hand, crying, Hush! for heaven’s sake, my father is just coming in; my blushes, my look, and my accent, telling him, I suppose, all which he wished to know.

"You can easily guess how I feel about this, sir, but I didn’t have to endure it for long. One day, when Hebbers was alone with me, he took the chance to share how much he despised the idea of marrying for money, which went against his feelings. I was passionate about the topic and, I think, went so far as to say that only fools and villains do that. He replied with a sigh, 'Yes, madam, but what would you think about a man whose heart is constantly aching for another woman, to whom he would gladly sacrifice everything? Yet, because he would have to put her interests above his own, he never dares to hint at the feelings that are consuming him?' 'Do you believe, Miss Fanny, there is such a wretch on earth?' I answered, trying to sound indifferent, that I didn’t believe there was. He then took my hand gently and, with a look so tender that I can't describe it, swore he was that wretch. Then suddenly, as if he realized he had crossed a line, he exclaimed with a shaky voice, 'What am I saying? Forgive me, Miss Fanny; since I seek only your pity, I will never ask for more—' At those words, hearing my father approaching, I completely revealed myself, if I hadn't already. I quickly pulled my hand away, saying, 'Hush! For heaven’s sake, my father is just coming in,' my blushes, my expression, and my tone, I suppose, telling him everything he wanted to know."

“A few days now brought matters to an eclaircissement between us; the being undeceived in what had given me so much uneasiness gave me a pleasure too sweet to be resisted. To triumph over the widow, for whom I had in a very short time contracted a most inveterate hatred, was a pride not to be described. Hebbers appeared to me to be the cause of all this happiness. I doubted not but that he had the most disinterested passion for me, and thought him every way worthy of its return. I did return it, and accepted him as my lover.

“A few days passed, and things became clear between us; realizing the truth about what had made me so uneasy brought me a pleasure I couldn't resist. Overcoming the widow, for whom I had quickly developed a deep hatred, was a pride I can't put into words. I believed Hebbers was the reason for all this happiness. I had no doubt that he genuinely cared for me, and I thought he deserved my feelings in return. I did return those feelings and accepted him as my lover.”

“He declared the greatest apprehensions of my father’s suspicion, though I am convinced these were causeless had his designs been honourable. To blind these, I consented that he should carry on sham addresses to the widow, who was now a constant jest between us; and he pretended from time to time to acquaint me faithfully with everything that past at his interviews with her; nor was this faithless woman wanting in her part of the deceit. She carried herself to me all the while with a shew of affection, and pretended to have the utmost friendship for me But such are the friendships of women!”

“He expressed his biggest fears about my father suspecting him, but I’m sure those fears were unfounded if his intentions were good. To cover this up, I agreed to let him fake conversations with the widow, who had become a running joke between us; he even claimed to keep me updated about everything that happened during his meetings with her. This untrustworthy woman played her part in the deception as well. She acted like she cared for me and pretended to be my best friend. But that’s how women’s friendships are!”

At this remark, Booth, though enough affected at some parts of the story, had great difficulty to refrain from laughter; but, by good luck, he escaped being perceived; and the lady went on without interruption.

At this comment, Booth, though somewhat moved by certain parts of the story, had a hard time holding back his laughter; however, he managed to avoid being noticed, and the lady continued without interruption.

“I am come now to a part of my narrative in which it is impossible to be particular without being tedious; for, as to the commerce between lovers, it is, I believe, much the same in all cases; and there is, perhaps, scarce a single phrase that hath not been repeated ten millions of times.

“I’ve reached a part of my story where it’s impossible to be specific without being boring; because, when it comes to the relationships between lovers, I believe it’s pretty much the same in every case; and there’s probably hardly a single phrase that hasn’t been repeated millions of times.”

“One thing, however, as I strongly remarked it then, so I will repeat it to you now. In all our conversations, in moments when he fell into the warmest raptures, and exprest the greatest uneasiness at the delay of his joys, he seldom mentioned the word marriage; and never once solicited a day for that purpose. Indeed, women cannot be cautioned too much against such lovers; for though I have heard, and perhaps truly, of some of our sex, of a virtue so exalted, that it is proof against every temptation; yet the generality, I am afraid, are too much in the power of a man to whom they have owned an affection. What is called being upon a good footing is, perhaps, being upon a very dangerous one; and a woman who hath given her consent to marry can hardly be said to be safe till she is married.

“One thing, though, as I strongly noted back then, I’ll repeat to you now. In all our conversations, during the moments he got the most passionate and expressed the deepest frustration over the wait for his happiness, he rarely mentioned the word marriage; and never once did he ask for a date for that purpose. In fact, women need to be extremely cautious with such lovers; because while I’ve heard, and perhaps rightly so, of some men having such high morals that they resist every temptation, I’m afraid most of them are too much under the influence of a man to whom they've expressed their feelings. What’s seen as being on good terms might actually be a very precarious situation; and a woman who has agreed to marry can hardly be considered safe until she’s actually married.”

“And now, sir, I hasten to the period of my ruin. We had a wedding in our family; my musical sister was married to a young fellow as musical as herself. Such a match, you may be sure, amongst other festivities, must have a ball. Oh! Mr. Booth, shall modesty forbid me to remark to you what past on that occasion? But why do I mention modesty, who have no pretensions to it? Everything was said and practised on that occasion, as if the purpose had been to inflame the mind of every woman present. That effect, I freely own to you, it had with me. Music, dancing, wine, and the most luscious conversation, in which my poor dear father innocently joined, raised ideas in me of which I shall for ever repent; and I wished (why should I deny it?) that it had been my wedding instead of my sister’s.

“And now, sir, I’m rushing to the moment of my downfall. We had a wedding in our family; my musical sister married a young man who was just as musical as she was. You can imagine that such a match, among other celebrations, had to include a ball. Oh! Mr. Booth, should modesty stop me from telling you what happened that day? But why do I even talk about modesty when I have none? Everything that was said and done during that time seemed designed to stir the feelings of every woman there. I’ll admit, it certainly worked on me. Music, dancing, wine, and the most delightful conversation, to which my poor dear father innocently contributed, sparked thoughts in me that I will forever regret; and I wished (why should I hide it?) that it had been my wedding instead of my sister’s.

“The villain Hebbers danced with me that night, and he lost no opportunity of improving the occasion. In short, the dreadful evening came. My father, though it was a very unusual thing with him, grew intoxicated with liquor; most of the men were in the same condition; nay, I myself drank more than I was accustomed to, enough to inflame, though not to disorder. I lost my former bed-fellow, my sister, and—you may, I think, guess the rest—the villain found means to steal to my chamber, and I was undone.

“The villain Hebbers danced with me that night, and he seized every chance to make the most of it. In short, the horrible evening arrived. My father, which was quite unusual for him, got drunk; most of the men were in the same state; in fact, I drank more than I usually did, enough to excite me, but not enough to completely lose my senses. I lost track of my sister, and—you can probably guess what happened next—the creep managed to sneak into my room, and I was ruined."

“Two months I passed in this detested commerce, buying, even then, my guilty, half-tasted pleasures at too dear a rate, with continual horror and apprehension; but what have I paid since—what do I pay now, Mr. Booth? O may my fate be a warning to every woman to keep her innocence, to resist every temptation, since she is certain to repent of the foolish bargain. May it be a warning to her to deal with mankind with care and caution; to shun the least approaches of dishonour, and never to confide too much in the honesty of a man, nor in her own strength, where she has so much at stake; let her remember she walks on a precipice, and the bottomless pit is to receive her if she slips; nay, if she makes but one false step.

“Two months I spent in this hated situation, buying, even then, my guilty, half-enjoyed pleasures at too high a cost, filled with constant horror and fear; but what have I paid since—what am I paying now, Mr. Booth? Oh, may my fate serve as a warning to every woman to protect her innocence, to resist every temptation, since she will surely regret the foolish deal. May it be a lesson for her to deal with people carefully and cautiously; to avoid even the slightest hints of dishonor, and never to trust too much in a man's honesty, nor in her own strength, when so much is at risk; let her remember she walks on a cliff edge, and the bottomless pit awaits her if she slips; indeed, if she takes just one wrong step.”

“I ask your pardon, Mr. Booth; I might have spared these exhortations, since no woman hears me; but you will not wonder at seeing me affected on this occasion.”

“I apologize, Mr. Booth; I could have avoided these pleas, since no woman is listening to me; but you won't be surprised to see me moved on this occasion.”

Booth declared he was much more surprised at her being able so well to preserve her temper in recounting her story.

Booth said he was much more surprised by how well she managed to keep her cool while telling her story.

“O sir,” answered she, “I am at length reconciled to my fate; and I can now die with pleasure, since I die revenged. I am not one of those mean wretches who can sit down and lament their misfortunes. If I ever shed tears, they are the tears of indignation.—But I will proceed.

“O sir,” she replied, “I have finally come to terms with my fate; and I can now die in peace, knowing that I will die avenged. I am not one of those pathetic individuals who sit around and mourn their misfortunes. If I ever cry, it’s out of anger. —But I will continue.

“It was my fate now to solicit marriage; and I failed not to do it in the most earnest manner. He answered me at first with procrastinations, declaring, from time to time, he would mention it to my father; and still excusing himself for not doing it. At last he thought on an expedient to obtain a longer reprieve. This was by pretending that he should, in a very few weeks, be preferred to the command of a troop; and then, he said, he could with some confidence propose the match.

“It was now my fate to ask for marriage, and I made sure to do it very seriously. At first, he responded with delays, saying he would talk to my father about it eventually, while constantly making excuses for why he hadn’t yet. Eventually, he came up with a plan to buy himself more time. He pretended that in just a few weeks, he would be promoted to lead a troop; then, he said, he could confidently propose the match.”

“In this delay I was persuaded to acquiesce, and was indeed pretty easy, for I had not yet the least mistrust of his honour; but what words can paint my sensations, when one morning he came into my room, with all the marks of dejection in his countenance, and, throwing an open letter on the table, said, ‘There is news, madam, in that letter which I am unable to tell you; nor can it give you more concern than it hath given me.’

“In this delay, I was convinced to go along with it, and I was actually quite at ease, since I had no doubts about his integrity. But what words can capture how I felt when one morning he walked into my room, looking completely downcast, and, tossing an open letter onto the table, said, ‘There’s news in that letter, ma’am, that I can’t bear to tell you; I doubt it will concern you more than it has concerned me.’”

“This letter was from his captain, to acquaint him that the rout, as they call it, was arrived, and that they were to march within two days. And this, I am since convinced, was what he expected, instead of the preferment which had been made the pretence of delaying our marriage.

“This letter was from his captain, letting him know that the troops, as they call it, had arrived, and that they were set to march in two days. And this, I am now convinced, was what he was actually expecting, rather than the promotion that had been used as an excuse to delay our wedding.”

“The shock which I felt at reading this was inexpressible, occasioned indeed principally by the departure of a villain whom I loved. However, I soon acquired sufficient presence of mind to remember the main point; and I now insisted peremptorily on his making me immediately his wife, whatever might be the consequence.

“The shock I felt upon reading this was beyond words, mainly because a villain I loved was leaving. However, I quickly regained my composure to focus on the main issue; and I now firmly insisted that he make me his wife right away, no matter what the consequences might be.”

“He seemed thunderstruck at this proposal, being, I suppose, destitute of any excuse: but I was too impatient to wait for an answer, and cried out with much eagerness, Sure you cannot hesitate a moment upon this matter—‘Hesitate! madam!’ replied he—‘what you ask is impossible. Is this a time for me to mention a thing of this kind to your father?’—My eyes were now opened all at once—I fell into a rage little short of madness. Tell not me, I cried, of impossibilities, nor times, nor of my father—-my honour, my reputation, my all are at stake.—I will have no excuse, no delay—make me your wife this instant, or I will proclaim you over the face of the whole earth for the greatest of villains. He answered, with a kind of sneer, ‘What will you proclaim, madam?—whose honour will you injure?’ My tongue faltered when I offered to reply, and I fell into a violent agony, which ended in a fit; nor do I remember anything more that past till I found myself in the arms of my poor affrighted father.

“He looked completely stunned by this proposal, probably having no good reason to refuse. But I was too eager to wait for an answer and exclaimed, ‘Surely you can't hesitate for even a second about this!’ ‘Hesitate! Madam!’ he replied. ‘What you're asking is impossible. Is this really the right time for me to bring something like this up with your father?’ At that moment, everything clicked for me—I became furious, almost to the point of madness. ‘Don’t tell me about impossibilities, timing, or my father—I have my honor, my reputation, my everything on the line. I won’t accept any excuses or delays—marry me right this instant, or I’ll expose you to the whole world as the greatest of villains.’ He responded with a smirk, ‘What will you expose, madam? Whose honor will you damage?’ My words failed me when I tried to reply, and I was overwhelmed by a violent wave of agony that led to a fit; I don’t remember anything else until I found myself in the arms of my terrified father.

“O, Mr. Booth, what was then my situation! I tremble even now from the reflection.—I must stop a moment. I can go no farther.” Booth attempted all in his power to soothe her; and she soon recovered her powers, and proceeded in her story.

“O, Mr. Booth, what a situation I was in! I still tremble thinking about it.—I need a moment. I can’t go on.” Booth tried everything he could to comfort her; she soon regained her composure and continued with her story.










Chapter ix. — In which Miss Matthews concludes her relation.

Before I had recovered my senses I had sufficiently betrayed myself to the best of men, who, instead of upbraiding me, or exerting any anger, endeavoured to comfort me all he could with assurances that all should yet be well. This goodness of his affected me with inexpressible sensations; I prostrated myself before him, embraced and kissed his knees, and almost dissolved in tears, and a degree of tenderness hardly to be conceived—-But I am running into too minute descriptions.

Before I could gather my thoughts, I had already shown myself up to the best of men, who, instead of scolding me or getting angry, tried to comfort me as much as possible, assuring me that everything would be okay. His kindness moved me deeply; I fell to my knees in front of him, hugged and kissed his knees, and almost broke down in tears, feeling a level of tenderness that’s hard to describe—but I’m getting too caught up in the details.

“Hebbers, seeing me in a fit, had left me, and sent one of the servants to take care of me. He then ran away like a thief from the house, without taking his leave of my father, or once thanking him for all his civilities. He did not stop at his quarters, but made directly to London, apprehensive, I believe, either of my father or brother’s resentment; for I am convinced he is a coward. Indeed his fear of my brother was utterly groundless; for I believe he would rather have thanked any man who had destroyed me; and I am sure I am not in the least behindhand with him in good wishes.

“Hebbers, seeing me in a fit, left and had one of the servants come take care of me. He then ran away from the house like a thief, without saying goodbye to my father or thanking him for all his kindness. He didn't stop at his place but headed straight for London, probably afraid of my father or brother's anger; I truly believe he's a coward. His fear of my brother was completely unfounded; I think he would have preferred to thank anyone who caused me harm, and I know I have no shortage of good wishes for him either.”

“All his inveteracy to me had, however, no effect on my father, at least at that time; for, though the good man took sufficient occasions to reprimand me for my past offence, he could not be brought to abandon me. A treaty of marriage was now set on foot, in which my father himself offered me to Hebbers, with a fortune superior to that which had been given with my sister; nor could all my brother’s remonstrances against it, as an act of the highest injustice, avail.

“All his bitterness toward me had no effect on my father, at least at that time; because, although the good man found plenty of reasons to scold me for my past mistakes, he couldn’t bring himself to give up on me. A marriage arrangement was now in the works, where my father himself proposed me to Hebbers, with a dowry larger than what my sister had received; nor could all my brother’s protests against it, claiming it was the height of injustice, make any difference.”

“Hebbers entered into the treaty, though not with much warmth. He had even the assurance to make additional demands on my father, which being complied with, everything was concluded, and the villain once more received into the house. He soon found means to obtain my forgiveness of his former behaviour; indeed, he convinced me, so foolishly blind is female love, that he had never been to blame.

“Hebbers signed the treaty, though not enthusiastically. He even had the nerve to make extra demands on my father, which were met, and the scoundrel was once again welcomed into the house. He quickly figured out how to win my forgiveness for his past actions; in fact, he convinced me, so foolishly blind is female love, that he had never done anything wrong.

“When everything was ready for our nuptials, and the day of the ceremony was to be appointed, in the midst of my happiness I received a letter from an unknown hand, acquainting me (guess, Mr. Booth, how I was shocked at receiving it) that Mr. Hebbers was already married to a woman in a distant part of the kingdom.

“When everything was set for our wedding and the date of the ceremony was about to be announced, in the middle of my happiness, I got a letter from someone I didn’t know, informing me (guess how shocked I was to receive it, Mr. Booth) that Mr. Hebbers was already married to a woman in a far-off part of the country."

“I will not tire you with all that past at our next interview. I communicated the letter to Hebbers, who, after some little hesitation, owned the fact, and not only owned it, but had the address to improve it to his own advantage, to make it the means of satisfying me concerning all his former delays; which, to say the truth, I was not so much displeased at imputing to any degree of villany, as I should have been to impute it to the want of a sufficient warmth of affection, and though the disappointment of all my hopes, at the very instant of their expected fruition, threw me into the most violent disorders; yet, when I came a little to myself, he had no great difficulty to persuade me that in every instance, with regard to me, Hebbers had acted from no other motive than from the most ardent and ungovernable love. And there is, I believe, no crime which a woman will not forgive, when she can derive it from that fountain. In short, I forgave him all, and am willing to persuade myself I am not weaker than the rest of my sex. Indeed, Mr. Booth, he hath a bewitching tongue, and is master of an address that no woman could resist. I do assure you the charms of his person are his least perfection, at least in my eye.”

“I won’t bore you with all the past at our next meeting. I shared the letter with Hebbers, who, after a bit of hesitation, admitted it was true and not only admitted it but also had the nerve to use it to his advantage, to convince me about all his previous delays. Honestly, I didn’t mind blaming those delays on anything villainous as much as I would have disliked attributing them to a lack of genuine affection. Although the disappointment of all my hopes at the moment I expected them was intensely shocking, once I calmed down a bit, he had no trouble convincing me that in every instance concerning me, Hebbers acted purely out of passionate and uncontrollable love. I believe there’s no mistake a woman won’t forgive when she can attribute it to that source. In short, I forgave him everything and I want to believe I’m not weaker than the rest of my gender. Mr. Booth, he has a captivating way with words and a charm that no woman could resist. I assure you, his looks are his least impressive quality, at least in my opinion.”

Here Booth smiled, but happily without her perceiving it.

Here Booth smiled, but happily without her noticing it.

“A fresh difficulty (continued she) now arose. This was to excuse the delay of the ceremony to my father, who every day very earnestly urged it. This made me so very uneasy, that I at last listened to a proposal, which, if any one in the days of my innocence, or even a few days before, had assured me I could have submitted to have thought of, I should have treated the supposition with the highest contempt and indignation; nay, I scarce reflect on it now with more horror than astonishment. In short, I agreed to run away with him—to leave my father, my reputation, everything which was or ought to have been dear to me, and to live with this villain as a mistress, since I could not be his wife.

A new problem came up. I needed to explain to my dad why we were delaying the ceremony, as he was pushing for it every single day. This made me really anxious, and eventually, I considered a suggestion that, if anyone had told me just a few days earlier that I would even think about, I would have laughed it off in disgust. Honestly, I still find it hard to reflect on it now without feeling a mix of horror and shock. In short, I agreed to run away with him—to leave my dad, my reputation, everything that should have mattered to me, and to live with this guy as his mistress, since I couldn’t marry him.

“Was not this an obligation of the highest and tenderest kind, and had I not reason to expect every return in the man’s power on whom I had conferred it? I will make short of the remainder of my story, for what is there of a woman worth relating, after what I have told you?

“Wasn't this an obligation of the highest and most caring kind, and didn't I have reason to expect every possible return from the man I had given it to? I'll keep the rest of my story brief, because what more is there about a woman that's worth sharing after what I've already told you?”

“Above a year I lived with this man in an obscure court in London, during which time I had a child by him, whom Heaven, I thank it, hath been pleased to take to itself.

“Above a year I lived with this man in a hidden courtyard in London, during which time I had a child with him, whom Heaven, I thank it, has been kind enough to take for itself.”

“During many months he behaved to me with all the apparent tenderness and even fondness imaginable; but, alas! how poor was my enjoyment of this compared to what it would have been in another situation? When he was present, life was barely tolerable: but, when he was absent, nothing could equal the misery I endured. I past my hours almost entirely alone; for no company but what I despised, would consort with me. Abroad I scarce ever went, lest I should meet any of my former acquaintance; for their sight would have plunged a thousand daggers in my soul. My only diversion was going very seldom to a play, where I hid myself in the gallery, with a daughter of the woman of the house. A girl, indeed, of good sense and many good qualities; but how much beneath me was it to be the companion of a creature so low! O heavens! when I have seen my equals glittering in a side-box, how have the thoughts of my lost honour torn my soul!”

“Throughout many months, he treated me with all the apparent tenderness and even affection imaginable; but, unfortunately, my enjoyment of this was so much poorer compared to what it could have been in a different situation. When he was around, life was barely tolerable; but when he was gone, nothing could match the misery I felt. I spent almost all my time alone, as the only people willing to be with me were those I looked down upon. I hardly went out, fearing I might run into any of my former acquaintances because just seeing them would have pierced my soul like a thousand daggers. My only distraction was going very rarely to a play, where I would hide in the gallery with the daughter of the woman who ran the place. She was a girl of good sense and many great qualities, but it was so beneath me to socialize with someone of such a low status! Oh, heavens! When I saw my peers shining in a side-box, the thoughts of my lost honor tortured my soul!”

“Pardon me, dear madam,” cries Booth, “for interrupting you; but I am under the utmost anxiety to know what became of your poor father, for whom I have so great a respect, and who, I am convinced, must so bitterly feel your loss.”

“Excuse me, dear lady,” Booth exclaims, “for interrupting you; but I’m really anxious to know what happened to your poor father, whom I greatly respect, and who, I’m sure, must feel your loss very deeply.”

“O Mr. Booth,” answered she, “he was scarce ever out of my thoughts. His dear image still obtruded itself in my mind, and I believe would have broken my heart, had I not taken a very preposterous way to ease myself. I am, indeed, almost ashamed to tell you; but necessity put it in my head.—You will think the matter too trifling to have been remembered, and so it surely was; nor should I have remembered it on any other occasion. You must know then, sir, that my brother was always my inveterate enemy and altogether as fond of my sister.—He once prevailed with my father to let him take my sister with him in the chariot, and by that means I was disappointed of going to a ball which I had set my heart on. The disappointment, I assure you, was great at the time; but I had long since forgotten it. I must have been a very bad woman if I had not, for it was the only thing in which I can remember that my father ever disobliged me. However, I now revived this in my mind, which I artificially worked up into so high an injury, that I assure you it afforded me no little comfort. When any tender idea intruded into my bosom, I immediately raised this fantom of an injury in my imagination, and it considerably lessened the fury of that sorrow which I should have otherwise felt for the loss of so good a father, who died within a few months of my departure from him.

“O Mr. Booth,” she replied, “he was hardly ever out of my thoughts. His dear image still forced its way into my mind, and I believe it would have broken my heart if I hadn’t taken a rather ridiculous approach to ease myself. I’m almost embarrassed to share it with you, but necessity led me to it. You might think it’s too trivial to be remembered, and I have to admit it certainly was; I wouldn’t have thought of it at any other time. You should know, sir, that my brother was always my relentless enemy and just as fond of my sister. He once convinced my father to let him take my sister with him in the carriage, which meant I missed out on a ball that I had really been looking forward to. The disappointment, I assure you, was huge at the time; but I had long since forgotten it. I must have been a very bad person if I hadn’t, since it was the only time I can recall my father ever letting me down. However, I brought this back to my mind, which I exaggerated into such a deep grievance that it actually brought me some comfort. Whenever any tender thought crept into my heart, I would immediately summon this phantom of an injury in my imagination, and it significantly eased the pain of losing such a good father, who passed away just a few months after I left him.”

“And now, sir, to draw to a conclusion. One night, as I was in the gallery at Drury-lane playhouse, I saw below me in a side-box (she was once below me in every place), that widow whom I mentioned to you before. I had scarce cast my eyes on this woman before I was so shocked with the sight that it almost deprived me of my senses; for the villain Hebbers came presently in and seated himself behind her.

“And now, sir, to wrap things up. One night, as I was in the gallery at the Drury Lane theater, I spotted the widow I mentioned earlier sitting below me in a side box (she used to be below me everywhere). The moment I laid eyes on her, I was so taken aback that it nearly knocked me off my feet; because the scoundrel Hebbers came in right afterward and sat down behind her.

“He had been almost a month from me, and I believed him to be at his quarters in Yorkshire. Guess what were my sensations when I beheld him sitting by that base woman, and talking to her with the utmost familiarity. I could not long endure this sight, and having acquainted my companion that I was taken suddenly ill, I forced her to go home with me at the end of the second act.

“He had been away from me for almost a month, and I thought he was at his place in Yorkshire. Imagine my feelings when I saw him sitting next to that terrible woman and chatting with her like they were close friends. I couldn't stand it for long, and after telling my friend that I was feeling suddenly sick, I made her leave with me at the end of the second act.”

“After a restless and sleepless night, when I rose the next morning I had the comfort to receive a visit from the woman of the house, who, after a very short introduction, asked me when I had heard from the captain, and when I expected to see him? I had not strength or spirits to make her any answer, and she proceeded thus:—‘Indeed I did not think the captain would have used me so. My husband was an officer of the army as well as himself; and if a body is a little low in the world, I am sure that is no reason for folks to trample on a body. I defy the world to say as I ever was guilty of an ill thing.’ For heaven’s sake, madam, says I, what do you mean? ‘Mean?’ cries she; ‘I am sure, if I had not thought you had been Captain Hebbers’ lady, his lawful lady too, you should never have set footing in my house. I would have Captain Hebbers know, that though I am reduced to let lodgings, I never have entertained any but persons of character.’—In this manner, sir, she ran on, saying many shocking things not worth repeating, till my anger at last got the better of my patience as well as my sorrow, and I pushed her out of the room.

“After a restless and sleepless night, when I got up the next morning, I was relieved to receive a visit from the woman of the house. After a brief introduction, she asked me when I had last heard from the captain and when I expected to see him. I didn’t have the strength or energy to respond, and she continued: ‘Honestly, I didn’t think the captain would treat me this way. My husband was an officer in the army just like him, and if someone is a bit down on their luck, that’s no reason for others to look down on them. I challenge anyone to say I've ever done anything wrong.’ For heaven’s sake, ma’am, I said, what do you mean? ‘Mean?’ she exclaimed; ‘I certainly wouldn’t have let you into my home if I hadn’t thought you were Captain Hebbers’ wife, his lawful wife! I want Captain Hebbers to know that even though I’m now renting out rooms, I’ve only hosted people of good character.’ With that, she rambled on, saying many outrageous things that weren't worth repeating, until my rage finally overtook my patience as well as my sadness, and I pushed her out of the room.”

“She had not been long gone before her daughter came to me, and, after many expressions of tenderness and pity, acquainted me that her mother had just found out, by means of the captain’s servant, that the captain was married to another lady; ‘which, if you did not know before, madam,’ said she, ‘I am sorry to be the messenger of such ill news.’

“She hadn’t been gone long before her daughter came to me, and after expressing a lot of tenderness and sympathy, told me that her mother had just discovered, through the captain’s servant, that the captain was married to another woman; ‘which, if you didn’t know before, ma’am,’ she said, ‘I’m sorry to be the bearer of such bad news.’”

“Think, Mr. Booth, what I must have endured to see myself humbled before such a creature as this, the daughter of a woman who lets lodgings! However, having recollected myself a little, I thought it would be in vain to deny anything; so, knowing this to be one of the best-natured and most sensible girls in the world, I resolved to tell her my whole story, and for the future to make her my confidante. I answered her, therefore, with a good deal of assurance, that she need not regret telling me this piece of ill news, for I had known it before I came to her house.

“Think about it, Mr. Booth, what I must have gone through to find myself in such a humiliating position before someone like her, the daughter of a woman who rents out rooms! However, after taking a moment to gather my thoughts, I realized it would be pointless to deny anything. Since I knew her to be one of the kindest and most sensible girls around, I decided to share my entire story with her and make her my confidante going forward. So, I responded with a fair amount of confidence that she shouldn’t feel bad for sharing this piece of bad news, because I had already known it before arriving at her house.”

“‘Pardon me, madam,’ replied the girl, ‘you cannot possibly have known it so long, for he hath not been married above a week; last night was the first time of his appearing in public with his wife at the play. Indeed, I knew very well the cause of your uneasiness there; but would not mention—-’

“‘Excuse me, ma'am,’ the girl replied, ‘there's no way you could have known that for long, since he got married just a week ago; last night was the first time he was out in public with his wife at the theater. Honestly, I understood why you were feeling uneasy, but I didn’t want to say anything—’”

“His wife at the play? answered I eagerly. What wife? whom do you mean?

“His wife at the play?” I replied eagerly. “What wife? Who are you talking about?”

“‘I mean the widow Carey, madam,’ replied she, ‘to whom the captain was married a few days since. His servant was here last night to pay for your lodging, and he told it my mother.’

“‘I mean the widow Carey, ma'am,’ she replied, ‘to whom the captain just got married a few days ago. His servant was here last night to pay for your lodging, and he told my mother.’”

“I know not what answer I made, or whether I made any. I presently fell dead on the floor, and it was with great difficulty I was brought back to life by the poor girl, for neither the mother nor the maid of the house would lend me any assistance, both seeming to regard me rather as a monster than a woman.

“I don’t know what answer I gave, or if I even responded at all. I suddenly collapsed on the floor, and it took a lot for the poor girl to revive me, since neither the mother nor the maid of the house would help me, both looking at me more like a monster than a woman.”

“Scarce had I recovered the use of my senses when I received a letter from the villain, declaring he had not assurance to see my face, and very kindly advising me to endeavour to reconcile myself to my family, concluding with an offer, in case I did not succeed, to allow me twenty pounds a-year to support me in some remote part of the kingdom.

“Hardly had I regained my senses when I got a letter from the villain, stating that he wasn’t sure he would see me again, and very kindly suggesting that I try to make amends with my family. He ended the letter with an offer, saying that if I didn’t succeed, he would give me twenty pounds a year to help me live in some faraway part of the country.”

“I need not mention my indignation at these proposals. In the highest agony of rage, I went in a chair to the detested house, where I easily got access to the wretch I had devoted to destruction, whom I no sooner found within my reach than I plunged a drawn penknife, which I had prepared in my pocket for the purpose, into his accursed heart. For this fact I was immediately seized and soon after committed hither; and for this fact I am ready to die, and shall with pleasure receive the sentence of the law.

“I won’t bother to express my anger about these proposals. In a fit of rage, I took a chair to the hated house, where I quickly gained access to the person I had decided to destroy. As soon as I had him in my grasp, I drove a sharp penknife, which I had brought with me for this purpose, into his cursed heart. Because of this, I was immediately arrested and soon after brought here; and for this, I am ready to die and will gladly accept the consequences of the law.

“Thus, sir,” said she, “I have related to you my unhappy story, and if I have tired your patience, by dwelling too long on those parts which affected me the most, I ask your pardon.”

“So, sir,” she said, “I’ve shared my unfortunate story with you, and if I’ve worn out your patience by going on too long about the parts that affected me the most, I apologize.”

Booth made a proper speech on this occasion, and, having exprest much concern at her present situation, concluded that he hoped her sentence would be milder than she seemed to expect.

Booth gave a formal speech on this occasion and, expressing a lot of concern for her current situation, concluded by hoping her sentence would be less severe than she expected.

Her reply to this was full of so much bitterness and indignation, that we do not think proper to record the speech at length, in which having vented her passion, she all at once put on a serene countenance, and with an air of great complacency said, “Well, Mr. Booth, I think I have now a right to satisfy my curiosity at the expense of your breath. I may say it is not altogether a vain curiosity, for perhaps I have had inclination enough to interest myself in whatever concerns you; but no matter for that: those days (added she with a sigh) are now over.”

Her response was filled with so much bitterness and anger that we don’t think it’s appropriate to record her speech in detail. After expressing her feelings, she suddenly put on a calm expression and, with a sense of satisfaction, said, “Well, Mr. Booth, I believe I now have the right to satisfy my curiosity at the cost of your words. I can say it’s not entirely a useless curiosity, since I’ve been curious enough to care about what concerns you; but that doesn’t really matter: those days,” she added with a sigh, “are now gone.”

Booth, who was extremely good-natured and well-bred, told her that she should not command him twice whatever was in his power; and then, after the usual apology, was going to begin his history, when the keeper arrived, and acquainted the lady that dinner was ready, at the same time saying, “I suppose, madam, as the gentleman is an acquaintance of yours, he must dine with us too.”

Booth, who was very kind and polite, told her that she shouldn't have to tell him twice about anything within his ability; and then, after the usual apology, he was about to start telling his story when the keeper showed up and informed the lady that dinner was ready, adding, “I suppose, madam, since the gentleman is your acquaintance, he should join us for dinner as well.”

Miss Matthews told the keeper that she had only one word to mention in private to the gentleman, and that then they would both attend him. She then pulled her purse from her pocket, in which were upwards of twenty guineas, being the remainder of the money for which she had sold a gold repeating watch, her father’s present, with some other trinkets, and desired Mr. Booth to take what he should have occasion for, saying, “You know, I believe, dear Will, I never valued money; and now I am sure I shall have very little use for it.” Booth, with much difficulty, accepted of two guineas, and then they both together attended the keeper.

Miss Matthews told the keeper that she had just one thing to discuss privately with the gentleman, and then they would both join him. She then took her purse out of her pocket, which held more than twenty guineas, the leftover money from selling a gold repeating watch, a gift from her father, along with some other trinkets. She asked Mr. Booth to take whatever he needed, saying, “You know, I believe, dear Will, I never cared much about money; and now I’m sure I won’t have much need for it.” Booth, with great reluctance, accepted two guineas, and then they both went to see the keeper together.










Chapter x. — Table-talk, consisting of a facetious discourse that passed in the prison.

There were assembled at the table the governor of these (not improperly called infernal) regions; the lieutenant-governor, vulgarly named the first turnkey; Miss Matthews, Mr. Booth, Mr. Robinson the gambler, several other prisoners of both sexes, and one Murphy, an attorney.

There were people gathered at the table: the governor of these (not unfairly called hellish) regions; the lieutenant-governor, commonly known as the first turnkey; Miss Matthews, Mr. Booth, Mr. Robinson the gambler, several other prisoners of both genders, and one Murphy, a lawyer.

The governor took the first opportunity to bring the affair of Miss Matthews upon the carpet, and then, turning to Murphy, he said, “It is very lucky this gentleman happens to be present; I do assure you, madam, your cause cannot be in abler hands. He is, I believe, the best man in England at a defence; I have known him often succeed against the most positive evidence.”

The governor quickly brought up the matter of Miss Matthews and then turned to Murphy, saying, “It’s very fortunate that this gentleman is here; I assure you, madam, your case couldn’t be in better hands. I believe he’s the best man in England when it comes to defense; I’ve seen him succeed even against the strongest evidence.”

“Fy, sir,” answered Murphy; “you know I hate all this; but, if the lady will trust me with her cause, I will do the best in my power. Come, madam, do not be discouraged; a bit of manslaughter and cold iron, I hope, will be the worst: or perhaps we may come off better with a slice of chance-medley, or se defendendo

“Ugh, sir,” replied Murphy; “you know I hate all this; but if the lady will trust me with her case, I’ll do my best. Come on, ma’am, don’t be discouraged; I hope a bit of manslaughter and cold hard facts will be the worst of it: or maybe we’ll get off easier with a little bit of chance-medley, or self-defense.”

“I am very ignorant of the law, sir,” cries the lady.

“I don't know much about the law, sir,” the lady exclaims.

“Yes, madam,” answered Murphy; “it can’t be expected you should understand it. There are very few of us who profess it that understand the whole, nor is it necessary we should. There is a great deal of rubbish of little use, about indictments, and abatements, and bars, and ejectments, and trovers, and such stuff, with which people cram their heads to little purpose. The chapter of evidence is the main business; that is the sheet-anchor; that is the rudder, which brings the vessel safe in portum. Evidence is, indeed, the whole, the summa totidis, for de non apparentibus et non insistentibus eandem est ratio.”

“Yeah, ma’am,” replied Murphy. “It’s not surprising you don’t get it. Very few of us who claim to know it really understand the whole thing, and honestly, it’s not necessary. There’s a lot of useless clutter about indictments, abatements, bars, ejectments, trovers, and all that, which people fill their heads with to no good end. The key part is the chapter on evidence; that’s the foundation; that’s the direction that keeps the ship safe in harbor. Evidence is, in fact, everything, the essence, because reasoning doesn’t apply in cases of what isn’t evident or present.”

“If you address yourself to me, sir,” said the lady, “you are much too learned, I assure you, for my understanding.”

“If you’re talking to me, sir,” the lady said, “you’re definitely too educated for me to understand.”

Tace, madam,” answered Murphy, “is Latin for a candle: I commend your prudence. I shall know the particulars of your case when we are alone.”

Tace, ma'am,” Murphy replied, “is Latin for a candle: I appreciate your discretion. I'll learn the details of your situation when we're alone.”

“I hope the lady,” said Robinson, “hath no suspicion of any person here. I hope we are all persons of honour at this table.”

“I hope the lady,” said Robinson, “doesn’t suspect anyone here. I trust we’re all people of honor at this table.”

“D—n my eyes!” answered a well-dressed woman, “I can answer for myself and the other ladies; though I never saw the lady in my life, she need not be shy of us, d—n my eyes! I scorn to rap {Footnote: A cant word, meaning to swear, or rather to perjure yourself} against any lady.”

“Damn my eyes!” replied a well-dressed woman, “I can speak for myself and the other ladies; even though I’ve never seen the lady in my life, she doesn’t need to be shy around us, damn my eyes! I refuse to swear against any lady.”

“D—n me, madam!” cried another female, “I honour what you have done. I once put a knife into a cull myself—so my service to you, madam, and I wish you may come off with se diffidendo with all my heart.”

“Damn me, madam!” shouted another woman, “I admire what you've done. I once stabbed a guy myself—so here’s to you, madam, and I truly hope you get off with se diffidendo with all my heart.”

“I beg, good woman,” said Miss Matthews, “you would talk on some other subject, and give yourself no concern about my affairs.”

“I beg you, good woman,” said Miss Matthews, “please talk about something else and don’t worry about my business.”

“You see, ladies,” cried Murphy, “the gentle-woman doth not care to talk on this matter before company; so pray do not press her.”

“You see, ladies,” exclaimed Murphy, “the lady doesn’t want to discuss this in front of others, so please don’t push her.”

“Nay, I value the lady’s acquaintance no more than she values mine,” cries the first woman who spoke. “I have kept as good company as the lady, I believe, every day in the week. Good woman! I don’t use to be so treated. If the lady says such another word to me, d—n me, I will darken her daylights. Marry, come up! Good woman!—the lady’s a whore as well as myself! and, though I am sent hither to mill doll, d—n my eyes, I have money enough to buy it off as well as the lady herself.”

“Nah, I value the lady’s company just as much as she values mine,” shouts the first woman who spoke. “I've kept company just as good as the lady's every single day of the week. Seriously! I don't usually get treated this way. If she says another word like that to me, damn it, I'll make her see stars. Come on! Seriously!—the lady’s a whore just like me! And even though I'm sent here to run errands, damn my eyes, I have enough money to buy my way out of this just like she does.”

Action might perhaps soon have ensued this speech, had not the keeper interposed his authority, and put an end to any further dispute. Soon after which, the company broke up, and none but himself, Mr. Murphy, Captain Booth, and Miss Matthews, remained together.

Action might have happened right after this speech, but the keeper stepped in with his authority and stopped any more arguments. Shortly after that, the group dispersed, leaving only him, Mr. Murphy, Captain Booth, and Miss Matthews together.

Miss Matthews then, at the entreaty of the keeper, began to open her case to Mr. Murphy, whom she admitted to be her solicitor, though she still declared she was indifferent as to the event of the trial.

Miss Matthews then, at the request of the keeper, started to explain her case to Mr. Murphy, whom she recognized as her lawyer, even though she still insisted that she didn’t care about the outcome of the trial.

Mr. Murphy, having heard all the particulars with which the reader is already acquainted (as far as related to the murder), shook his head and said, “There is but one circumstance, madam, which I wish was out of the case; and that we must put out of it; I mean the carrying the penknife drawn into the room with you; for that seems to imply malice prepensive, as we call it in the law: this circumstance, therefore, must not appear against you; and, if the servant who was in the room observed this, he must be bought off at all hazards. All here you say are friends; therefore I tell you openly, you must furnish me with money sufficient for this purpose. Malice is all we have to guard against.”

Mr. Murphy, having heard all the details that the reader already knows (as far as the murder is concerned), shook his head and said, “There’s just one thing, ma’am, that I wish wasn’t part of this case; and we need to remove it. I’m talking about the fact that you brought the knife into the room with you, because that suggests premeditated intent, as we call it in law. This detail must not be held against you; and if the servant who was in the room saw this, we have to make sure he’s quieted, no matter what it takes. Everyone here claims to be friends, so I’m being upfront: you need to provide me with enough money for this. Malice is the only thing we need to protect against.”

“I would not presume, sir,” cries Booth, “to inform you in the law; but I have heard, in case of stabbing, a man may be indicted upon the statute; and it is capital, though no malice appears.”

“I wouldn’t want to assume anything, sir,” Booth says, “but I’ve heard that in the case of stabbing, a person can be charged under the law; and it carries the death penalty, even if there’s no evidence of malice.”

“You say true, sir,” answered Murphy; “a man may be indicted contra formam statutis; and that method, I allow you, requires no malice. I presume you are a lawyer, sir?”

“You're right, sir,” replied Murphy; “a person can be charged against the form of the statutes; and that approach, I admit, doesn’t need any malice. I assume you're a lawyer, sir?”

“No, indeed, sir,” answered Booth, “I know nothing of the law.”

“No, really, sir,” Booth replied, “I don’t know anything about the law.”

“Then, sir, I will tell you—If a man be indicted contra formam tatutis, as we say, no malice is necessary, because the form of the statute makes malice; and then what we have to guard against is having struck the first blow. Pox on’t, it is unlucky this was done in a room: if it had been in the street we could have had five or six witnesses to have proved the first blow, cheaper than, I am afraid, we shall get this one; for when a man knows, from the unhappy circumstances of the case, that you can procure no other witness but himself, he is always dear. It is so in all other ways of business. I am very implicit, you see; but we are all among friends. The safest way is to furnish me with money enough to offer him a good round sum at once; and I think (it is for your good I speak) fifty pounds is the least than can be offered him. I do assure you I would offer him no less was it my own case.”

“Then, sir, let me tell you—If a man is charged against the form of the statute, as we say, no malice is needed, because the statute itself implies malice; and what we need to watch out for is having thrown the first punch. Damn it, it's unfortunate this happened in a room: if it had been on the street, we could have had five or six witnesses to prove who threw the first punch, and it would have been cheaper than, I fear, what it will cost us now; because when a man realizes, given the unfortunate circumstances of the case, that you can only get him as a witness, he always charges more. It's the same in all other business. I'm very straightforward, you see; but we're among friends. The safest option is for you to give me enough money to offer him a decent amount upfront; and I believe (I’m saying this for your benefit) that fifty pounds is the minimum we should offer him. I assure you, I wouldn’t offer him any less if it were my own case.”

“And do you think, sir,” said she, “that I would save my life at the expense of hiring another to perjure himself?”

“And do you think, sir,” she said, “that I would save my life by hiring someone else to lie for me?”

“Ay, surely do I,” cries Murphy; “for where is the fault, admitting there is some fault in perjury, as you call it? and, to be sure, it is such a matter as every man would rather wish to avoid than not: and yet, as it may be managed, there is not so much as some people are apt to imagine in it; for he need not kiss the book, and then pray where’s the perjury? but if the crier is sharper than ordinary, what is it he kisses? is it anything but a bit of calf’s-skin? I am sure a man must be a very bad Christian himself who would not do so much as that to save the life of any Christian whatever, much more of so pretty a lady. Indeed, madam, if we can make out but a tolerable case, so much beauty will go a great way with the judge and the jury too.”

“Ay, I definitely do,” shouts Murphy; “because where’s the fault, assuming there is some fault in lying under oath, as you call it? And of course, it’s the kind of thing that everyone would rather avoid than not. Yet, depending on how it’s handled, there’s not nearly as much to it as some people think; because he doesn’t actually have to kiss the book, so where’s the perjury? But if the crier is a bit sharper than usual, what is it he kisses? Is it anything more than a piece of calfskin? I believe a person must be a really bad Christian if he wouldn’t do at least that to save the life of any Christian, let alone such a beautiful lady. Indeed, madam, if we can put together a decent case, that much beauty will go a long way with the judge and the jury as well.”

The latter part of this speech, notwithstanding the mouth it came from, caused Miss Matthews to suppress much of the indignation which began to arise at the former; and she answered with a smile, “Sir, you are a great casuist in these matters; but we need argue no longer concerning them; for, if fifty pounds would save my life, I assure you I could not command that sum. The little money I have in my pocket is all I can call my own; and I apprehend, in the situation I am in, I shall have very little of that to spare.”

The latter part of this speech, no matter who it came from, made Miss Matthews hold back much of the anger that started to rise from the first part; and she replied with a smile, “Sir, you’re quite a debater on these topics; but we don't need to argue about it anymore; because, if fifty pounds could save my life, I assure you I wouldn’t be able to come up with that amount. The little money I have in my pocket is all I can truly call mine; and I fear, given my current situation, I won’t have much of that to spare.”

“Come, come, madam,” cries Murphy, “life is sweet, let me tell you, and never sweeter than when we are near losing it. I have known many a man very brave and undaunted at his first commitment, who, when business began to thicken a little upon him, hath changed his note. It is no time to be saving in your condition.”

“Come on, ma’am,” Murphy says, “life is sweet, I assure you, and it’s never sweeter than when we’re on the brink of losing it. I’ve seen plenty of brave and fearless guys at the start, but when things start to get a bit tough, they change their tune. This isn’t the time to hold back in your situation.”

The keeper, who, after the liberality of Miss Matthews, and on seeing a purse of guineas in her hand, had conceived a great opinion of her wealth, no sooner heard that the sum which he had in intention intirely confiscated for his own use was attempted to be broke in upon, thought it high time to be upon his guard. “To be sure,” cries he, “Mr. Murphy, life is sweet, as you say, that must be acknowledged; to be sure, life is sweet; but, sweet as it is, no persons can advance more than they are worth to save it. And indeed, if the lady can command no more money than that little she mentions, she is to be commended for her unwillingness to part with any of it; for, to be sure, as she says, she will want every farthing of that to live like a gentlewoman till she comes to her trial. And, to be sure, as sweet as life is, people ought to take care to be able to live sweetly while they do live; besides, I cannot help saying the lady shews herself to be what she is, by her abhorrence of perjury, which is certainly a very dreadful crime. And, though the not kissing the book doth, as you say, make a great deal of difference; and, if a man had a great while to live and repent, perhaps he might swallow it well enough; yet, when people comes to be near their end (as who can venture to foretel what will be the lady’s case?) they ought to take care not to overburthen their conscience. I hope the lady’s case will not be found murder; for I am sure I always wish well to all my prisoners who shew themselves to be gentlemen or gentlewomen; yet one should always fear the worst.”

The keeper, who, after seeing Miss Matthews' generosity and the purse of guineas in her hand, had formed a high opinion of her wealth, realized that it was time to be cautious when he heard that the money he intended to keep for himself was being challenged. “Of course,” he said, “Mr. Murphy, life is valuable, as you mentioned, and that’s true; indeed, life is valuable; but no one can put forth more than they're worth to protect it. And honestly, if the lady has no more money than what she’s mentioned, she deserves credit for not wanting to part with any of it; because, as she says, she'll need every penny of that to live like a lady until her trial. And, as precious as life is, people should ensure they can live comfortably while they do. Besides, I must say, the lady shows her true character by her aversion to lying under oath, which is a truly serious offense. And even though not swearing on the book, as you said, makes a significant difference; if someone had a long time to live and repent, they might manage to get past it; however, when people draw close to the end (and who can predict what the lady’s situation will be?), they should be careful not to burden their conscience too much. I hope the lady's situation won’t be deemed murder, for I always wish the best for my prisoners who demonstrate they are gentlemen or gentlewomen; still, one should always expect the worst.”

“Indeed, sir, you speak like an oracle,” answered the lady; “and one subornation of perjury would sit heavier on my conscience than twenty such murders as I am guilty of.”

“Absolutely, sir, you sound like a prophet,” replied the lady; “and being involved in one act of perjury would weigh more on my conscience than twenty murders I'm guilty of.”

“Nay, to be sure, madam,” answered the keeper, “nobody can pretend to tell what provocation you must have had; and certainly it can never be imagined that a lady who behaves herself so handsomely as you have done ever since you have been under my keys should be guilty of killing a man without being very highly provoked to do it.”

“Nah, for sure, ma’am,” replied the keeper, “no one can claim to know what might have provoked you; and it’s hard to believe that a lady who has conducted herself so gracefully as you have since you've been under my care could ever be guilty of killing a man without being pushed to her limits.”

Mr. Murphy was, I believe, going to answer when he was called out of the room; after which nothing passed between the remaining persons worth relating, till Booth and the lady retired back again into the lady’s apartment.

Mr. Murphy was about to respond when he was called out of the room; after that, nothing significant happened among the others until Booth and the lady went back into her room.

Here they fell immediately to commenting on the foregoing discourse; but, as their comments were, I believe, the same with what most readers have made on the same occasion, we shall omit them. At last, Miss Matthews reminding her companion of his promise of relating to her what had befallen him since the interruption of their former acquaintance, he began as is written in the next book of this history.

Here they quickly started commenting on the earlier conversation; however, since their thoughts were likely in line with what most readers would think about the same situation, we’ll skip over that. Finally, Miss Matthews reminded her friend of his promise to share what had happened to him since their last meeting, and he began as described in the next book of this story.










BOOK II.










Chapter i. — In which Captain Booth begins to relate his history.

The tea-table being removed, and Mr. Booth and the lady left alone, he proceeded as follows:

The tea table was taken away, and Mr. Booth and the lady were left alone, so he continued as follows:

“Since you desire, madam, to know the particulars of my courtship to that best and dearest of women whom I afterwards married, I will endeavour to recollect them as well as I can, at least all those incidents which are most worth relating to you.

“Since you want to know the details of my courtship with that wonderful and beloved woman whom I later married, I will do my best to remember them, at least all the moments that are most worth sharing with you.”

“If the vulgar opinion of the fatality in marriage had ever any foundation, it surely appeared in my marriage with my Amelia. I knew her in the first dawn of her beauty; and, I believe, madam, she had as much as ever fell to the share of a woman; but, though I always admired her, it was long without any spark of love. Perhaps the general admiration which at that time pursued her, the respect paid her by persons of the highest rank, and the numberless addresses which were made her by men of great fortune, prevented my aspiring at the possession of those charms which seemed so absolutely out of my reach. However it was, I assure you the accident which deprived her of the admiration of others made the first great impression on my heart in her favour. The injury done to her beauty by the overturning of a chaise, by which, as you may well remember, her lovely nose was beat all to pieces, gave me an assurance that the woman who had been so much adored for the charms of her person deserved a much higher adoration to be paid to her mind; for that she was in the latter respect infinitely more superior to the rest of her sex than she had ever been in the former.”

“If the common belief about the inevitability of marriage had any truth, it certainly showed itself in my marriage with Amelia. I met her at the beginning of her beauty, and I believe, ma'am, she had as much as any woman could have; but even though I always admired her, it took a long time for me to feel any love. Maybe it was the widespread admiration she received, the respect from high-ranking people, and the countless advances from wealthy men that made me think her charms were far beyond my reach. Regardless of the reason, I assure you that the event which stole her admiration from others made a lasting impression on my heart in her favor. The injury to her beauty from a carriage accident, which you may remember left her lovely nose terribly damaged, made me realize that the woman who had been so adored for her looks deserved a much greater admiration for her intellect; in that regard, she was far superior to the rest of her gender compared to how she stood out physically.”

“I admire your taste extremely,” cried the lady; “I remember perfectly well the great heroism with which your Amelia bore that misfortune.”

“I really admire your taste,” the lady exclaimed; “I remember very well the incredible courage with which your Amelia handled that misfortune.”

“Good heavens! madam,” answered he; “what a magnanimity of mind did her behaviour demonstrate! If the world have extolled the firmness of soul in a man who can support the loss of fortune; of a general who can be composed after the loss of a victory; or of a king who can be contented with the loss of a crown; with what astonishment ought we to behold, with what praises to honour, a young lady, who can with patience and resignation submit to the loss of exquisite beauty, in other words to the loss of fortune, power, glory, everything which human nature is apt to court and rejoice in! what must be the mind which can bear to be deprived of all these in a moment, and by an unfortunate trifling accident; which could support all this, together with the most exquisite torments of body, and with dignity, with resignation, without complaining, almost without a tear, undergo the most painful and dreadful operations of surgery in such a situation!” Here he stopt, and a torrent of tears gushed from his eyes; such tears are apt to flow from a truly noble heart at the hearing of anything surprisingly great and glorious. As soon as he was able he again proceeded thus:

“Oh my goodness! Ma'am,” he replied, “what a display of greatness of spirit her behavior showed! If people praise the strength of a man who can handle losing his wealth, a general who can stay calm after a defeat, or a king who can accept losing his crown, then how much more should we be amazed by, and honor, a young woman who can patiently and gracefully accept the loss of her remarkable beauty—essentially losing wealth, power, glory, everything that human nature seeks and cherishes! What must her mind be like to endure losing all these in an instant, due to a trivial accident; to endure all this, along with the worst physical agony, with dignity, with acceptance, without complaining, almost without shedding a tear, while undergoing the most painful and dreadful surgeries in such a state?” Here he stopped, and a flood of tears burst from his eyes; such tears are likely to flow from a truly noble heart upon hearing something extraordinarily great and admirable. Once he regained his composure, he continued:

“Would you think, Miss Matthews, that the misfortune of my Amelia was capable of any aggravation? I assure you, she hath often told me it was aggravated with a circumstance which outweighed all the other ingredients. This was the cruel insults she received from some of her most intimate acquaintance, several of whom, after many distortions and grimaces, have turned their heads aside, unable to support their secret triumph, and burst into a loud laugh in her hearing.”

"Do you think, Miss Matthews, that my Amelia's misfortune could be made any worse? I promise you, she has often told me it was made worse by one thing that overshadowed everything else. This was the cruel insults she got from some of her closest friends, several of whom, after making faces and acting all dramatic, turned away, unable to hide their secret joy, and burst out laughing while she was right there."

“Good heavens!” cried Miss Matthews; “what detestable actions will this contemptible passion of envy prevail on our sex to commit!”

“Good grief!” exclaimed Miss Matthews; “what awful actions will this despicable feeling of envy drive our gender to do!”

“An occasion of this kind, as she hath since told me, made the first impression on her gentle heart in my favour. I was one day in company with several young ladies, or rather young devils, where poor Amelia’s accident was the subject of much mirth and pleasantry. One of these said she hoped miss would not hold her head so high for the future. Another answered, ‘I do not know, madam, what she may do with her head, but I am convinced she will never more turn up her nose at her betters.’ Another cried, ‘What a very proper match might now be made between Amelia and a certain captain,’ who had unfortunately received an injury in the same part, though from no shameful cause. Many other sarcasms were thrown out, very unworthy to be repeated. I was hurt with perceiving so much malice in human shape, and cried out very bluntly, Indeed, ladies, you need not express such satisfaction at poor Miss Emily’s accident; for she will still be the handsomest woman in England. This speech of mine was afterwards variously repeated, by some to my honour, and by others represented in a contrary light; indeed, it was often reported to be much ruder than it was. However, it at length reached Amelia’s ears. She said she was very much obliged to me, since I could have so much compassion for her as to be rude to a lady on her account.

“An occasion like this, as she later told me, created the first impression on her kind heart in my favor. One day, I was with several young ladies, or rather young troublemakers, who found great amusement in poor Amelia’s misfortune. One of them remarked that she hoped Miss would remember to keep her head down in the future. Another replied, ‘I don’t know what she might do with her head, but I’m sure she won’t be looking down on her betters anymore.’ Another chimed in, ‘What a suitable match could be made between Amelia and a certain captain,’ who also had an injury in the same area, though it wasn’t due to anything shameful. Many other cutting remarks were made, which are too cruel to repeat. I was upset to see so much malice among humans, and I bluntly said, ‘Indeed, ladies, you don’t need to show such satisfaction at poor Miss Emily’s accident; she will still be the prettiest woman in England.’ My comment was later repeated in various ways, some praising me and others twisting it into something negative; in fact, it often came back as much ruder than it actually was. However, it eventually reached Amelia. She said she was very grateful for my compassion, noting that I would be rude to a lady on her behalf.”

“About a month after the accident, when Amelia began to see company in a mask, I had the honour to drink tea with her. We were alone together, and I begged her to indulge my curiosity by showing me her face. She answered in a most obliging manner, ‘Perhaps, Mr. Booth, you will as little know me when my mask is off as when it is on;’ and at the same instant unmasked.—The surgeon’s skill was the least I considered. A thousand tender ideas rushed all at once on my mind. I was unable to contain myself, and, eagerly kissing her hand, I cried—Upon my soul, madam, you never appeared to me so lovely as at this instant. Nothing more remarkable passed at this visit; but I sincerely believe we were neither of us hereafter indifferent to each other.

“About a month after the accident, when Amelia started seeing company in a mask, I had the honor of having tea with her. We were alone together, and I asked her to satisfy my curiosity by showing me her face. She replied in a very agreeable way, ‘Perhaps, Mr. Booth, you won’t know me any better with my mask off than with it on;’ and at that moment, she removed her mask. I didn’t even think about the surgeon’s skill. A flood of tender thoughts overwhelmed me. I couldn’t help myself, and eagerly kissing her hand, I exclaimed—Upon my soul, madam, you’ve never looked more beautiful to me than right now. Nothing more significant happened during this visit, but I truly believe that from then on, we were never indifferent to each other.”

“Many months, however, passed after this, before I ever thought seriously of making her my wife. Not that I wanted sufficient love for Amelia. Indeed it arose from the vast affection I bore her. I considered my own as a desperate fortune, hers as entirely dependent on her mother, who was a woman, you know, of violent passions, and very unlikely to consent to a match so highly contrary to the interest of her daughter. The more I loved Amelia, the more firmly I resolved within myself never to propose love to her seriously. Such a dupe was my understanding to my heart, and so foolishly did I imagine I could be master of a flame to which I was every day adding fuel.

“Many months went by after this before I seriously considered making her my wife. It’s not that I didn’t love Amelia enough. In fact, it was because of the deep affection I had for her. I saw my own situation as desperate, while hers depended entirely on her mother, who was, you know, a woman of strong emotions and very unlikely to agree to a match that would go against her daughter's best interests. The more I loved Amelia, the more I resolved never to seriously propose to her. My understanding was completely fooled by my heart, and I stupidly thought I could control a fire to which I was adding fuel every day.

“O, Miss Matthews! we have heard of men entirely masters of their passions, and of hearts which can carry this fire in them, and conceal it at their pleasure. Perhaps there may be such: but, if there are, those hearts may be compared, I believe, to damps, in which it is more difficult to keep fire alive than to prevent its blazing: in mine it was placed in the midst of combustible matter.

“O, Miss Matthews! We've heard of men who completely control their emotions and hearts that can keep this fire inside and hide it whenever they want. There might be some like that, but if they exist, I think those hearts are like damp wood, where it's harder to keep a fire going than to stop it from burning brightly: in my heart, it was surrounded by flammable material.”

“After several visits, in which looks and sighs had been interchanged on both sides, but without the least mention of passion in private, one day the discourse between us when alone happened to turn on love; I say happened, for I protest it was not designed on my side, and I am as firmly convinced not on hers. I was now no longer master of myself; I declared myself the most wretched of all martyrs to this tender passion; that I had long concealed it from its object. At length, after mentioning many particulars, suppressing, however, those which must have necessarily brought it home to Amelia, I concluded with begging her to be the confidante of my amour, and to give me her advice on that occasion.

“After several visits, where we exchanged glances and sighs, but never talked about feelings in private, one day our conversation turned to love. I say it just happened that way because I swear I didn’t plan it, and I truly believe she didn’t either. I lost control and admitted I was the most miserable of all people in love; that I had hidden my feelings for a long time. Eventually, after sharing many details while leaving out those that would have clearly pointed to Amelia, I ended by asking her to be my confidante about my feelings and to give me her advice on the matter.”

“Amelia (O, I shall never forget the dear perturbation!) appeared all confusion at this instant. She trembled, turned pale, and discovered how well she understood me, by a thousand more symptoms than I could take notice of, in a state of mind so very little different from her own. At last, with faltering accents, she said I had made a very ill choice of a counsellor in a matter in which she was so ignorant.—Adding, at last, ‘I believe, Mr. Booth, you gentlemen want very little advice in these affairs, which you all understand better than we do.’

“Amelia (Oh, I’ll never forget how anxious she looked!) seemed completely flustered at that moment. She was shaking, turned pale, and I could tell just how well she understood me by countless signs that I couldn’t even notice, all similar to what she was feeling. Finally, with hesitant words, she said I had chosen a really bad advisor in a matter she knew nothing about. She added, ‘I believe, Mr. Booth, you men don’t need much advice on these matters, which you all understand better than we do.’”

“I will relate no more of our conversation at present; indeed I am afraid I tire you with too many particulars.”

“I won’t share any more of our conversation right now; honestly, I’m worried I’m boring you with too many details.”

“O, no!” answered she; “I should be glad to hear every step of an amour which had so tender a beginning. Tell me everything you said or did, if you can remember it.”

“O, no!” she replied; “I would love to hear all about a romance that had such a sweet start. Tell me everything you said or did, if you can remember.”

He then proceeded, and so will we in the next chapter.

He continued, and so will we in the next chapter.










Chapter ii. — Mr. Booth continues his story. In this chapter there are some passages that may serve as a kind of touchstone by which a young lady may examine the heart of her lover. I would advise, therefore, that every lover be obliged to read it over

in the presence of his mistress, and that she carefully watch his emotions while he is reading.

in front of his mistress, and she carefully monitors his emotions while he reads.

“I was under the utmost concern,” cries Booth, “when I retired from my visit, and had reflected coolly on what I had said. I now saw plainly that I had made downright love to Amelia; and I feared, such was my vanity, that I had already gone too far, and been too successful. Feared! do I say? could I fear what I hoped? how shall I describe the anxiety of my mind?”

“I was extremely worried,” Booth exclaims, “when I left my visit and thought carefully about what I had said. I now clearly realized that I had genuinely professed my love to Amelia; and I was concerned, due to my vanity, that I had already crossed the line and been too successful. Concerned! Do I say? Could I fear what I desired? How can I express the turmoil in my mind?”

“You need give yourself no great pain,” cried Miss Matthews, “to describe what I can so easily guess. To be honest with you, Mr. Booth, I do not agree with your lady’s opinion that the men have a superior understanding in the matters of love. Men are often blind to the passions of women: but every woman is as quick-sighted as a hawk on these occasions; nor is there one article in the whole science which is not understood by all our sex.”

“You don’t need to hurt yourself trying,” Miss Matthews exclaimed, “to explain what I can easily figure out. To be honest with you, Mr. Booth, I don’t agree with your lady’s view that men have a better understanding of love. Men are often oblivious to women’s passions, but every woman is as sharp-eyed as a hawk in these situations; there isn’t a single aspect of this whole subject that isn’t understood by all women.”

“However, madam,” said Mr. Booth, “I now undertook to deceive Amelia. I abstained three days from seeing her; to say the truth, I endeavoured to work myself up to a resolution of leaving her for ever: but when I could not so far subdue my passion—-But why do I talk nonsense of subduing passion?—I should say, when no other passion could surmount my love, I returned to visit her; and now I attempted the strangest project which ever entered into the silly head of a lover. This was to persuade Amelia that I was really in love in another place, and had literally expressed my meaning when I asked her advice and desired her to be my confidante.

“However, ma'am,” said Mr. Booth, “I now decided to deceive Amelia. I stayed away from her for three days; to be honest, I tried to convince myself to leave her for good. But when I couldn't manage to suppress my feelings—why am I talking about suppressing feelings?—I should say, when no other feeling could overshadow my love, I went back to visit her. And now I attempted the craziest plan that ever crossed the mind of a lover. This was to convince Amelia that I was truly in love with someone else and that I had literally meant what I said when I asked for her advice and wanted her to be my confidante.”

“I therefore forged a meeting to have been between me and my imaginary mistress since I had last seen Amelia, and related the particulars, as well as I could invent them, which had passed at our conversation.

“I therefore organized a meeting that took place between me and my imaginary mistress since I had last seen Amelia, and recounted the details, as accurately as I could come up with, of our conversation.”

“Poor Amelia presently swallowed this bait; and, as she hath told me since, absolutely believed me to be in earnest. Poor dear love! how should the sincerest of hearts have any idea of deceit? for, with all her simplicity, I assure you she is the most sensible woman in the world.”

“Poor Amelia actually fell for this trap; and, as she’s told me since, she completely thought I was serious. Poor dear! How could someone with such a sincere heart have any concept of deceit? Because, despite her simplicity, I promise you she is the most sensible woman in the world.”

“It is highly generous and good in you,” said Miss Matthews, with a sly sneer, “to impute to honesty what others would, perhaps, call credulity.”

“It’s really generous and kind of you,” said Miss Matthews, with a sly sneer, “to attribute honesty to what others might, perhaps, call gullibility.”

“I protest, madam,” answered he, “I do her no more than justice. A good heart will at all times betray the best head in the world.—-Well, madam, my angel was now, if possible, more confused than before. She looked so silly, you can hardly believe it.”

“I protest, ma'am,” he replied, “I'm just being fair. A good heart will always outshine the best mind in the world. —Well, ma'am, my angel was now, if possible, even more confused than before. She looked so ridiculous, you can hardly believe it.”

“Yes, yes, I can,” answered the lady, with a laugh, “I can believe it.—Well, well, go on.”—“After some hesitation,” cried he, “my Amelia said faintly to me, ‘Mr. Booth, you use me very ill; you desire me to be your confidante, and conceal from me the name of your mistress.’

“Yes, yes, I can,” replied the lady, laughing, “I can believe it. Well, go on.” “After a bit of hesitation,” he exclaimed, “my Amelia said softly to me, ‘Mr. Booth, you treat me very poorly; you want me to be your confidante, yet you hide the name of your mistress from me.’”

“Is it possible then, madam,” answered I, “that you cannot guess her, when I tell you she is one of your acquaintance, and lives in this town?”

“Is it possible, then, ma'am,” I replied, “that you can't figure her out when I tell you she's someone you know and lives in this town?”

“‘My acquaintance!’ said she: ‘La! Mr. Booth—In this town! I—I—I thought I could have guessed for once; but I have an ill talent that way—I will never attempt to guess anything again.’ Indeed I do her an injury when I pretend to represent her manner. Her manner, look, voice, everything was inimitable; such sweetness, softness, innocence, modesty!—Upon my soul, if ever man could boast of his resolution, I think I might now, that I abstained from falling prostrate at her feet, and adoring her. However, I triumphed; pride, I believe, triumphed, or perhaps love got the better of love. We once more parted, and I promised, the next time I saw her, to reveal the name of my mistress.

“‘My friend!’ she said. ‘Wow, Mr. Booth—In this town! I—I—I thought I could have guessed who it was this time; but I have a bad talent for that—I won’t ever try to guess again.’ Honestly, I do her a disservice when I try to describe her manner. Her manner, look, voice—everything was one of a kind; such sweetness, gentleness, innocence, modesty!—I swear, if any man could brag about his self-control, I think I can now, because I managed not to fall down at her feet and worship her. Still, I felt like I had won; maybe pride won, or maybe love overcame love. We parted again, and I promised that the next time I saw her, I would reveal the name of my beloved."

“I now had, I thought, gained a complete victory over myself; and no small compliments did I pay to my own resolution. In short, I triumphed as cowards and niggards do when they flatter themselves with having given some supposed instance of courage or generosity; and my triumph lasted as long; that is to say, till my ascendant passion had a proper opportunity of displaying itself in its true and natural colours.

“I now believed I had completely conquered myself, and I praised my own determination. In short, I felt victorious just like cowards and stingy people do when they convince themselves they've shown some supposed act of bravery or kindness; and my feeling of victory lasted just as long—that is, until my dominant passion had a chance to show itself in its true and natural form."

“Having hitherto succeeded so well in my own opinion, and obtained this mighty self-conquest, I now entertained a design of exerting the most romantic generosity, and of curing that unhappy passion which I perceived I had raised in Amelia.

“Having done so well in my own view so far and achieved this significant self-control, I now planned to show some truly romantic generosity and to cure the unfortunate passion I noticed I had sparked in Amelia.”

“Among the ladies who had expressed the greatest satisfaction at my Amelia’s misfortune, Miss Osborne had distinguished herself in a very eminent degree; she was, indeed, the next in beauty to my angel, nay, she had disputed the preference, and had some among her admirers who were blind enough to give it in her favour.”

“Among the women who showed the most satisfaction at my Amelia’s misfortune, Miss Osborne stood out significantly; she was, in fact, the second most beautiful after my angel, and she had even argued for that title, attracting some admirers who were blind enough to prefer her.”

“Well,” cries the lady, “I will allow you to call them blind; but Miss Osborne was a charming girl.”

“Well,” the lady exclaims, “I’ll let you call them blind; but Miss Osborne was a lovely girl.”

“She certainly was handsome,” answered he, “and a very considerable fortune; so I thought my Amelia would have little difficulty in believing me when I fixed on her as my mistress. And I concluded that my thus placing my affections on her known enemy would be the surest method of eradicating every tender idea with which I had been ever honoured by Amelia.

“She definitely was attractive,” he replied, “and she had a significant amount of money; so I figured my Amelia wouldn't have much trouble believing me when I chose her as my mistress. I thought that by directing my feelings toward her well-known rival, I would effectively get rid of any tender thoughts I ever had for Amelia.”

“Well, then, to Amelia I went; she received me with more than usual coldness and reserve; in which, to confess the truth, there appeared to me more of anger than indifference, and more of dejection than of either. After some short introduction, I revived the discourse of my amour, and presently mentioned Miss Osborne as the lady whose name I had concealed; adding, that the true reason why I did not mention her before was, that I apprehended there was some little distance between them, which I hoped to have the happiness of accommodating.

“Well, then, I went to see Amelia; she greeted me with more coldness and distance than usual. To be honest, it felt more like anger than indifference, and more sadness than either. After a brief introduction, I brought up my feelings again and mentioned Miss Osborne as the woman I had kept secret; I added that the real reason I hadn't mentioned her before was that I thought there was some tension between them, which I hoped to help resolve.”

“Amelia answered with much gravity, ‘If you know, sir, that there is any distance between us, I suppose you know the reason of that distance; and then, I think, I could not have expected to be affronted by her name. I would not have you think, Mr. Booth, that I hate Miss Osborne. No! Heaven is my witness, I despise her too much.—Indeed, when I reflect how much I loved the woman who hath treated me so cruelly, I own it gives me pain—when I lay, as I then imagined, and as all about me believed, on my deathbed, in all the agonies of pain and misery, to become the object of laughter to my dearest friend.—O, Mr. Booth, it is a cruel reflection! and could I after this have expected from you—but why not from you, to whom I am a person entirely indifferent, if such a friend could treat me so barbarously?’

“Amelia replied seriously, ‘If you know, sir, that there’s any distance between us, then I assume you also know why that distance exists; and in that case, I didn’t expect to be insulted by her name. I wouldn’t want you to think, Mr. Booth, that I hate Miss Osborne. No! I swear, I actually despise her too much. —Honestly, when I think about how deeply I loved the woman who treated me so harshly, it really pains me—when I was, as I thought at the time, and as everyone around me believed, on my deathbed, suffering in all kinds of pain and misery, to become the subject of laughter for my closest friend. —Oh, Mr. Booth, that’s a harsh thought! And could I have expected anything less from you—but why not from you, to whom I’m just someone completely unimportant, if such a friend could treat me so cruelly?’”

“During the greatest part of this speech the tears streamed from her bright eyes. I could endure it no longer. I caught up the word indifferent, and repeated it, saying, Do you think then, madam, that Miss Emily is indifferent to me?

“During most of this speech, tears streamed from her bright eyes. I couldn't take it anymore. I picked up the word indifferent and repeated it, saying, Do you really think, madam, that Miss Emily is indifferent to me?

“‘Yes, surely, I do,’ answered she: ‘I know I am; indeed, why should I not be indifferent to you?’

“‘Yes, of course I do,’ she replied: ‘I know I am; really, why should I care about you?’”

“Have my eyes,” said I, “then declared nothing?”

“Have my eyes,” I said, “then declared nothing?”

“‘O! there is no need of your eyes’ answered she; ‘your tongue hath declared that you have singled out of all womankind my greatest, I will say, my basest enemy. I own I once thought that character would have been no recommendation to you;—but why did I think so? I was born to deceive myself.’

“‘Oh! there’s no need for your eyes,’ she replied. ‘Your words have revealed that you’ve chosen my greatest, I would say, my worst enemy from all women. I admit I once thought that character wouldn’t matter to you—but why did I think that? I was destined to fool myself.’”

“I then fell on my knees before her; and, forcing her hand, cried out, O, my Amelia! I can bear no longer. You are the only mistress of my affections; you are the deity I adore. In this stile I ran on for above two or three minutes, what it is impossible to repeat, till a torrent of contending passions, together with the surprize, overpowered her gentle spirits, and she fainted away in my arms.

“I then dropped to my knees in front of her and, taking her hand, cried out, 'Oh, my Amelia! I can’t take it anymore. You are the only one I love; you are the goddess I worship.' I went on like this for two or three minutes, saying things that can’t be repeated, until a flood of conflicting emotions, along with the shock, overwhelmed her gentle nature, and she fainted in my arms.

“To describe my sensation till she returned to herself is not in my power.”—“You need not,” cried Miss Matthews.—“Oh, happy Amelia! why had I not been blest with such a passion?”—“I am convinced, madam,” continued he, “you cannot expect all the particulars of the tender scene which ensued. I was not enough in my senses to remember it all. Let it suffice to say, that that behaviour with which Amelia, while ignorant of its motive, had been so much displeased, when she became sensible of that motive, proved the strongest recommendation to her favour, and she was pleased to call it generous.”

“To describe how I felt until she regained her composure is beyond me.” — “You don’t have to,” exclaimed Miss Matthews. — “Oh, happy Amelia! Why wasn’t I lucky enough to experience such a passion?” — “I am sure, madam,” he continued, “that you cannot expect all the details of the tender moment that followed. I wasn’t in my right mind to remember everything. It’s enough to say that the behavior which had so displeased Amelia, while she was unaware of its reason, became her strongest reason for favoring it once she understood, and she was happy to call it generous.”

“Generous!” repeated the lady, “and so it was, almost beyond the reach of humanity. I question whether you ever had an equal.”

“Generous!” the lady repeated, “and it really was, almost beyond what anyone could imagine. I wonder if you’ve ever had anything like it.”

Perhaps the critical reader may have the same doubt with Miss Matthews; and lest he should, we will here make a gap in our history, to give him an opportunity of accurately considering whether this conduct of Mr. Booth was natural or no; and consequently, whether we have, in this place, maintained or deviated from that strict adherence to universal truth which we profess above all other historians.

Maybe a careful reader might have the same question about Miss Matthews; and to address that, we’ll take a break in our story to give them a chance to think about whether Mr. Booth’s behavior was natural or not; and therefore, whether we’ve upheld or strayed from the strict commitment to universal truth that we claim to uphold more than any other historians.










Chapter iii. — The narrative continued. More of the touchstone.

Booth made a proper acknowledgment of Miss Matthew’s civility, and then renewed his story. “We were upon the footing of lovers; and Amelia threw off her reserve more and more, till at length I found all that return of my affection which the tenderest lover can require.

Booth properly acknowledged Miss Matthew's politeness and then continued his story. “We were in the position of lovers; and Amelia gradually let go of her shyness, until finally, I received all the affection in return that the most devoted lover could wish for.

“My situation would now have been a paradise, had not my happiness been interrupted with the same reflections I have already mentioned; had I not, in short, concluded, that I must derive all my joys from the almost certain ruin of that dear creature to whom I should owe them.

“My situation would now have been perfect, if my happiness hadn’t been interrupted by the same thoughts I’ve mentioned before; if I hadn’t, in short, concluded that I would have to find all my joy in the almost certain downfall of that dear person to whom I would owe it.”

“This thought haunted me night and day, till I at last grew unable to support it: I therefore resolved in the strongest manner, to lay it before Amelia.

“This thought haunted me day and night, until I finally became unable to bear it: I therefore resolved firmly to share it with Amelia.

“One evening then, after the highest professions of the most disinterested love, in which Heaven knows my sincerity, I took an occasion to speak to Amelia in the following manner:—

“One evening then, after expressing the deepest feelings of selfless love, in which Heaven knows I was sincere, I found a moment to talk to Amelia like this:—

“Too true it is, I am afraid, my dearest creature, that the highest human happiness is imperfect. How rich would be my cup, was it not for one poisonous drop which embitters the whole! O, Amelia! what must be the consequence of my ever having the honour to call you mine!—You know my situation in life, and you know your own: I have nothing more than the poor provision of an ensign’s commission to depend on; your sole dependence is on your mother; should any act of disobedience defeat your expectations, how wretched must your lot be with me! O, Amelia! how ghastly an object to my mind is the apprehension of your distress! Can I bear to reflect a moment on the certainty of your foregoing all the conveniences of life? on the possibility of your suffering all its most dreadful inconveniencies? what must be my misery, then, to see you in such a situation, and to upbraid myself with being the accursed cause of bringing you to it? Suppose too in such a season I should be summoned from you. Could I submit to see you encounter all the hazards, the fatigues of war, with me? you could not yourself, however willing, support them a single campaign. What then; must I leave you to starve alone, deprived of the tenderness of a husband, deprived too of the tenderness of the best of mothers, through my means? a woman most dear to me, for being the parent, the nurse, and the friend of my Amelia.—-But oh! my sweet creature, carry your thoughts a little further. Think of the tenderest consequences, the dearest pledges of our love. Can I bear to think of entailing beggary on the posterity of my Amelia? on our—-Oh, Heavens!—on our children!—On the other side, is it possible even to mention the word—I will not, must not, cannot, cannot part with you.—-What must we do, Amelia? It is now I sincerely ask your advice.”

“It's sadly true, my dearest love, that the greatest human happiness is never perfect. How fulfilled I would be if it weren’t for one toxic drop that ruins everything! Oh, Amelia! What will happen if I ever get the honor of calling you mine? You know my place in the world, and you know yours: I have only the meager support of an ensign’s commission to rely on; your only support is your mother. If any act of disobedience ruins your hopes, how miserable would your life be with me! Oh, Amelia! The thought of your suffering is such a haunting image in my mind! Can I bear to think for even a moment about you giving up all the comforts of life? About the possibility of you facing all its worst hardships? How painful it would be for me to see you in such a situation and blame myself for bringing you to it! What if, during such a difficult time, I had to leave you? Could I stand to watch you face all the dangers and hardships of war without me? You wouldn’t even be able to handle a single campaign, no matter how willing you are. So, must I leave you to suffer alone, stripped of the love of a husband and also deprived of the care of the best mother, all because of me? A woman who means so much to me as the parent, the caretaker, and the friend of my Amelia. —But oh! my sweet love, think a little further. Consider the most tender outcomes, the most precious results of our love. Can I handle the thought of condemning the descendants of my Amelia to poverty? Our—Oh, Heaven!—our children!—On the other hand, can I even say the word—I will not, must not, cannot, cannot part with you.—What should we do, Amelia? I truly ask for your advice now.”

“‘What advice can I give you,’ said she, ‘in such an alternative? Would to Heaven we had never met!’

“‘What advice can I give you in this situation?’ she said. ‘I wish we had never met!’”

“These words were accompanied with a sigh, and a look inexpressibly tender, the tears at the same time overflowing all her lovely cheeks. I was endeavouring to reply when I was interrupted by what soon put an end to the scene.

“These words came with a sigh and a look that was incredibly tender, with tears streaming down her beautiful cheeks. I was trying to respond when I was interrupted by something that quickly ended the moment.

“Our amour had already been buzzed all over the town; and it came at last to the ears of Mrs. Harris: I had, indeed, observed of late a great alteration in that lady’s behaviour towards me whenever I visited at the house; nor could I, for a long time before this evening, ever obtain a private interview with Amelia; and now, it seems, I owed it to her mother’s intention of overhearing all that passed between us.

“Our romance had already been talked about all over town; and it finally reached Mrs. Harris. I had noticed recently a significant change in her behavior towards me whenever I visited their home; for a long time before this evening, I could never get a private moment with Amelia. Now it seems, I had to thank her mother for wanting to overhear everything that happened between us.”

“At the period then above mentioned, Mrs. Harris burst from the closet where she had hid herself, and surprised her daughter, reclining on my bosom in all that tender sorrow I have just described. I will not attempt to paint the rage of the mother, or the daughter’s confusion, or my own. ‘Here are very fine doings, indeed,’ cries Mrs. Harris: ‘you have made a noble use, Amelia, of my indulgence, and the trust I reposed in you.—As for you, Mr. Booth, I will not accuse you; you have used my child as I ought to have expected; I may thank myself for what hath happened;’ with much more of the same kind, before she would suffer me to speak; but at last I obtained a hearing, and offered to excuse my poor Amelia, who was ready to sink into the earth under the oppression of grief, by taking as much blame as I could on myself. Mrs. Harris answered, ‘No, sir, I must say you are innocent in comparison of her; nay, I can say I have heard you use dissuasive arguments; and I promise you they are of weight. I have, I thank Heaven, one dutiful child, and I shall henceforth think her my only one.’—She then forced the poor, trembling, fainting Amelia out of the room; which when she had done, she began very coolly to reason with me on the folly, as well as iniquity, which I had been guilty of; and repeated to me almost every word I had before urged to her daughter. In fine, she at last obtained of me a promise that I would soon go to my regiment, and submit to any misery rather than that of being the ruin of Amelia.

“At that time, Mrs. Harris burst out of the closet where she had been hiding and caught her daughter, who was leaning on my chest, consumed by the sorrow I just described. I won’t try to describe the mother’s anger, the daughter’s confusion, or my own. ‘This is quite the scene,’ Mrs. Harris exclaimed. ‘You’ve made a wonderful use of my patience, Amelia, and the trust I placed in you. As for you, Mr. Booth, I won’t blame you; you’ve treated my daughter just as I should have expected. I have only myself to thank for what has happened,’ along with much more of the same, before allowing me to speak. Finally, I managed to say something and tried to defend my poor Amelia, who looked like she wanted to disappear from the weight of her grief, by taking as much blame on myself as I could. Mrs. Harris replied, ‘No, sir, I have to say you’re innocent compared to her; in fact, I can say I’ve heard you try to talk her out of this, and I assure you, your words carry weight. Thank heavens, I have one obedient child, and from now on, I’ll consider her my only one.’ She then forced the poor, trembling, fainting Amelia out of the room. Once that was done, she began to calmly lecture me on the foolishness, as well as the wrongness, of my actions and recited almost everything I had previously said to her daughter. In the end, she got me to promise that I would go back to my regiment soon and endure any hardship rather than be the cause of Amelia’s ruin."

“I now, for many days, endured the greatest torments which the human mind is, I believe, capable of feeling; and I can honestly say I tried all the means, and applied every argument which I could raise, to cure me of my love. And to make these the more effectual, I spent every night in walking backwards and forwards in the sight of Mrs. Harris’s house, where I never failed to find some object or other which raised some tender idea of my lovely Amelia, and almost drove me to distraction.”

“I’ve now spent many days dealing with the worst torment that I believe the human mind can experience; and I can honestly say that I tried everything and used every argument I could think of to get over my love. To make my efforts more effective, I spent each night walking back and forth in front of Mrs. Harris’s house, where I always found something that brought back tender memories of my beautiful Amelia, and it almost drove me crazy.”

“And don’t you think, sir,” said Miss Matthews, “you took a most preposterous method to cure yourself?”

“And don’t you think, sir,” said Miss Matthews, “that you chose a pretty ridiculous way to fix yourself?”

“Alas, madam,” answered he, “you cannot see it in a more absurd light than I do; but those know little of real love or grief who do not know how much we deceive ourselves when we pretend to aim at the cure of either. It is with these, as it is with some distempers of the body, nothing is in the least agreeable to us but what serves to heighten the disease.

“Unfortunately, ma'am,” he replied, “you can’t see it in a more ridiculous way than I do; but those who know little about real love or grief don’t realize how much we fool ourselves when we pretend we’re trying to cure either. It's like some physical illnesses—nothing we encounter feels good unless it makes the issue worse.”

“At the end of a fortnight, when I was driven almost to the highest degree of despair, and could contrive no method of conveying a letter to Amelia, how was I surprised when Mrs. Harris’s servant brought me a card, with an invitation from the mother herself to drink tea that evening at her house!

“At the end of two weeks, when I was pushed to the brink of despair and couldn’t figure out how to send a letter to Amelia, I was shocked when Mrs. Harris’s servant delivered a card with an invitation from her mother to have tea at her house that evening!”

“You will easily believe, madam, that I did not fail so agreeable an appointment: on my arrival I was introduced into a large company of men and women, Mrs. Harris and my Amelia being part of the company.

"You can easily believe, ma'am, that I didn't miss such a pleasant meeting: when I arrived, I was introduced to a large group of men and women, with Mrs. Harris and my Amelia being part of the crowd."

“Amelia seemed in my eyes to look more beautiful than ever, and behaved with all the gaiety imaginable. The old lady treated me with much civility, but the young lady took little notice of me, and addressed most of her discourse to another gentleman present. Indeed, she now and then gave me a look of no discouraging kind, and I observed her colour change more than once when her eyes met mine; circumstances, which, perhaps, ought to have afforded me sufficient comfort, but they could not allay the thousand doubts and fears with which I was alarmed, for my anxious thoughts suggested no less to me than that Amelia had made her peace with her mother at the price of abandoning me forever, and of giving her ear to some other lover. All my prudence now vanished at once; and I would that instant have gladly run away with Amelia, and have married her without the least consideration of any consequences.

“Amelia seemed more beautiful than ever in my eyes, and she was as cheerful as possible. The older lady was very polite to me, but the younger one hardly acknowledged me and directed most of her conversation to another gentleman who was there. Occasionally, she would give me an encouraging glance, and I noticed her color change more than once when our eyes met; these moments, perhaps, should have brought me some comfort, but they couldn't calm my many doubts and fears. My anxious thoughts led me to believe that Amelia had reconciled with her mother by giving me up forever and turning her attention to another suitor. All my caution disappeared in an instant; I would have happily run away with Amelia right then and married her without a second thought to the consequences.”

“With such thoughts I had tormented myself for near two hours, till most of the company had taken their leave. This I was myself incapable of doing, nor do I know when I should have put an end to my visit, had not Dr Harrison taken me away almost by force, telling me in a whisper that he had something to say to me of great consequence.—You know the doctor, madam—”

“With these thoughts, I tortured myself for almost two hours, until most of the guests had left. I couldn't bring myself to leave either, and I have no idea when I would have ended my visit if Dr. Harrison hadn't nearly pulled me away, whispering that he had something very important to tell me. —You know the doctor, ma'am—”

“Very well, sir,” answered Miss Matthews, “and one of the best men in the world he is, and an honour to the sacred order to which he belongs.”

“Sure thing, sir,” replied Miss Matthews, “and he’s one of the best men out there, and a true honor to the noble order he belongs to.”

“You will judge,” replied Booth, “by the sequel, whether I have reason to think him so.”—He then proceeded as in the next chapter.

“You will see,” answered Booth, “by what happens next, if I have reason to think that way about him.” —He then continued as in the next chapter.










Chapter iv. — The story of Mr. Booth continued. In this chapter the reader will perceive a glimpse of the character of a very good divine, with some matters of a very tender kind.

“The doctor conducted me into his study, and I then, desiring me to sit down, began, as near as I can remember, in these words, or at least to this purpose:

“The doctor led me into his study, and then, wanting me to take a seat, began, as close as I can remember, with these words, or at least something like this:

“‘You cannot imagine, young gentleman, that your love for Miss Emily is any secret in this place; I have known it some time, and have been, I assure you, very much your enemy in this affair.’

“‘You can't imagine, young man, that your feelings for Miss Emily are a secret in this town; I've known for a while, and I assure you, I've been quite your enemy in this situation.’”

“I answered, that I was very much obliged to him.

"I replied that I was really grateful to him."

“‘Why, so you are,’ replied he; ‘and so, perhaps, you will think yourself when you know all.—I went about a fortnight ago to Mrs. Harris, to acquaint her with my apprehensions on her daughter’s account; for, though the matter was much talked of, I thought it might possibly not have reached her ears. I will be very plain with you. I advised her to take all possible care of the young lady, and even to send her to some place, where she might be effectually kept out of your reach while you remained in the town.’

“‘Yeah, that’s true,’ he replied; ‘and maybe you’ll think that too when you know everything.—About two weeks ago, I went to see Mrs. Harris to share my concerns about her daughter; even though it was a hot topic, I figured she might not have heard anything. I’ll be straightforward with you. I suggested that she take every precaution with the young lady and even send her somewhere where she’d be completely safe from you while you were still in town.’”

“And do you think, sir, said I, that this was acting a kind part by me? or do you expect that I should thank you on this occasion?

“And do you think, sir,” I said, “that this was being kind to me? Or do you expect me to thank you for this?”

“‘Young man,’ answered he, ‘I did not intend you any kindness, nor do I desire any of your thanks. My intention was to preserve a worthy lady from a young fellow of whom I had heard no good character, and whom I imagined to have a design of stealing a human creature for the sake of her fortune.’

“‘Young man,’ he replied, ‘I didn’t mean to do you any favors, nor do I want your thanks. I wanted to protect a respectable lady from a young man I had heard nothing good about, and whom I suspected had plans to take a person for her wealth.’”

“It was very kind of you, indeed, answered I, to entertain such an opinion of me.

“It was really nice of you to think that way about me,” I replied.

“‘Why, sir,’ replied the doctor, ‘it is the opinion which, I believe, most of you young gentlemen of the order of the rag deserve. I have known some instances, and have heard of more, where such young fellows have committed robbery under the name of marriage.’

“‘Well, sir,’ replied the doctor, ‘I think this is the opinion that most of you young gentlemen of the rag order deserve. I’ve seen some cases, and I’ve heard about more, where such young guys have committed robbery in the name of marriage.’”

“I was going to interrupt him with some anger when he desired me to have a little patience, and then informed me that he had visited Mrs. Harris with the above-mentioned design the evening after the discovery I have related; that Mrs. Harris, without waiting for his information, had recounted to him all which had happened the evening before; and, indeed, she must have an excellent memory, for I think she repeated every word I said, and added, that she had confined her daughter to her chamber, where she kept her a close prisoner, and had not seen her since.

“I was about to interrupt him out of frustration when he asked me to be patient and then told me that he had visited Mrs. Harris with the earlier mentioned purpose the evening after the discovery I just described; that Mrs. Harris, without waiting for him to say anything, recounted everything that happened the night before; and honestly, she must have an amazing memory, because I think she repeated every word I said, and added that she had locked her daughter in her room, where she kept her as a close prisoner, and hadn’t seen her since.”

“I cannot express, nor would modesty suffer me if I could, all that now past. The doctor took me by the hand and burst forth into the warmest commendations of the sense and generosity which he was pleased to say discovered themselves in my speech. You know, madam, his strong and singular way of expressing himself on all occasions, especially when he is affected with anything. ‘Sir,’ said he, ‘if I knew half a dozen such instances in the army, the painter should put red liveries upon all the saints in my closet.’

“I can’t express, and modesty wouldn’t let me if I could, everything that just happened. The doctor took my hand and started praising the sense and generosity he said were clear in my speech. You know, madam, his unique way of expressing himself, especially when he feels strongly about something. ‘Sir,’ he said, ‘if I knew even half a dozen such examples in the army, the painter should dress all the saints in my collection in red uniforms.’”

“From this instant, the doctor told me, he had become my friend and zealous advocate with Mrs. Harris, on whom he had at last prevailed, though not without the greatest difficulty, to consent to my marrying Amelia, upon condition that I settled every penny which the mother should lay down, and that she would retain a certain sum in her hands which she would at any time deposit for my advancement in the army.

“From this moment, the doctor told me, he had become my friend and passionate supporter with Mrs. Harris, who he had finally convinced, though not without a lot of effort, to agree to my marrying Amelia, on the condition that I set aside every penny that her mother would provide, and that she would keep a certain amount in her possession which she could use to support my advancement in the army.

“You will, I hope, madam, conceive that I made no hesitation at these conditions, nor need I mention the joy which I felt on this occasion, or the acknowledgment I paid the doctor, who is, indeed, as you say, one of the best of men.

"You will, I hope, ma'am, understand that I had no hesitation about these conditions, and I don't need to mention the joy I felt at this moment or the gratitude I expressed to the doctor, who is, as you say, truly one of the best men."

“The next morning I had permission to visit Amelia, who received me in such a manner, that I now concluded my happiness to be complete.

“The next morning I had permission to visit Amelia, who welcomed me in such a way that I now felt my happiness was complete.”

“Everything was now agreed on all sides, and lawyers employed to prepare the writings, when an unexpected cloud arose suddenly in our serene sky, and all our joys were obscured in a moment.

“Everything was now settled on all sides, and lawyers were hired to prepare the documents, when an unexpected cloud suddenly appeared in our clear sky, and all our happiness was overshadowed in an instant."

“When matters were, as I apprehended, drawing near a conclusion, I received an express, that a sister whom I tenderly loved was seized with a violent fever, and earnestly desired me to come to her. I immediately obeyed the summons, and, as it was then about two in the morning, without staying even to take leave of Amelia, for whom I left a short billet, acquainting her with the reason of my absence.

“When things seemed to be coming to a close, I received a message that my sister, whom I loved dearly, had come down with a severe fever and really wanted me to come to her. I immediately followed the request, and since it was around two in the morning, I didn’t even take the time to say goodbye to Amelia—I just left her a quick note explaining why I wouldn’t be around.”

“The gentleman’s house where my sister then was stood at fifty miles’ distance, and, though I used the utmost expedition, the unmerciful distemper had, before my arrival, entirely deprived the poor girl of her senses, as it soon after did of her life.

“The gentleman’s house where my sister was at the time was fifty miles away, and even though I rushed as fast as I could, the cruel illness had completely robbed the poor girl of her senses before I got there, and soon after, it took her life.”

“Not all the love I bore Amelia, nor the tumultuous delight with which the approaching hour of possessing her filled my heart, could, for a while, allay my grief at the loss of my beloved Nancy. Upon my soul, I cannot yet mention her name without tears. Never brother and sister had, I believe, a higher friendship for each other. Poor dear girl! whilst I sat by her in her light-head fits, she repeated scarce any other name but mine; and it plainly appeared that, when her dear reason was ravished away from her, it had left my image on her fancy, and that the last use she made of it was to think on me. ‘Send for my dear Billy immediately,’ she cried; ‘I know he will come to me in a moment. Will nobody fetch him to me? pray don’t kill me before I see him once more. You durst not use me so if he was here.’—Every accent still rings in my ears. Oh, heavens! to hear this, and at the same time to see the poor delirious creature deriving the greatest horrors from my sight, and mistaking me for a highwayman who had a little before robbed her. But I ask your pardon; the sensations I felt are to be known only from experience, and to you must appear dull and insipid. At last, she seemed for a moment to know me, and cried, ‘O heavens! my dearest brother!’ upon which she fell into immediate convulsions, and died away in my arms.”

“Not all the love I felt for Amelia, nor the overwhelming joy I had at the thought of finally being with her, could ease my sorrow over losing my beloved Nancy. Honestly, I still can't say her name without tearing up. I don't think any brother and sister ever had a closer friendship. Poor dear girl! While I sat by her during her fainting spells, she hardly mentioned any name but mine; it was clear that even when her mind was gone, my image lingered in her thoughts, and the last thing she used her mind for was to think of me. ‘Get my dear Billy here right away,’ she cried; ‘I know he'll come to me in a moment. Will nobody bring him to me? Please don’t let me die before I see him again. You wouldn’t dare hurt me if he was here.’—Every word still echoes in my ears. Oh, my God! To hear this and at the same time see the poor delirious girl getting terrified by my presence, mistaking me for a robber who had just attacked her. But I apologize; the feelings I experienced can only be understood through personal experience, and they must seem dull and uninspired to you. Finally, she seemed to recognize me for a moment and cried, ‘Oh heavens! my dearest brother!’ and then she immediately went into convulsions and faded away in my arms.”

Here Mr. Booth stopped a moment, and wiped his eyes; and Miss Matthews, perhaps out of complaisance, wiped hers.

Here Mr. Booth paused for a moment and wiped his eyes, and Miss Matthews, possibly out of a sense of politeness, wiped hers.










Chapter v. — Containing strange revolutions of fortune

Booth proceeded thus:

Booth moved forward:

“This loss, perhaps, madam, you will think had made me miserable enough; but Fortune did not think so; for, on the day when my Nancy was to be buried, a courier arrived from Dr Harrison, with a letter, in which the doctor acquainted me that he was just come from Mrs. Harris when he despatched the express, and earnestly desired me to return the very instant I received his letter, as I valued my Amelia. ‘Though if the daughter,’ added he, ‘should take after her mother (as most of them do) it will be, perhaps, wiser in you to stay away.’

“This loss, you might think, madam, made me miserable enough; but Fortune didn’t agree. On the day of Nancy’s funeral, a courier arrived from Dr. Harrison with a letter. In it, the doctor informed me that he had just come from Mrs. Harris when he sent the message, and he urgently requested that I return as soon as I received his letter, as I valued my Amelia. ‘Although, if the daughter,’ he added, ‘takes after her mother (which is often the case), it might be wiser for you to stay away.’”

“I presently sent for the messenger into my room, and with much difficulty extorted from him that a great squire in his coach and six was come to Mrs. Harris’s, and that the whole town said he was shortly to be married to Amelia.

“I just called for the messenger to come into my room, and after quite a struggle, I got him to reveal that a wealthy man in his carriage and six horses had arrived at Mrs. Harris’s, and that everyone in town was saying he was going to marry Amelia soon.”

“I now soon perceived how much superior my love for Amelia was to every other passion; poor Nancy’s idea disappeared in a moment; I quitted the dear lifeless corpse, over which I had shed a thousand tears, left the care of her funeral to others, and posted, I may almost say flew, back to Amelia, and alighted at the doctor’s house, as he had desired me in his letter.

“I quickly realized how much greater my love for Amelia was than any other feeling; poor Nancy’s memory faded instantly. I left the dear lifeless body, the one I had cried a thousand tears over, entrusted her funeral arrangements to others, and rushed—almost flew—back to Amelia, arriving at the doctor’s house, just as he had asked me to in his letter.”

“The good man presently acquainted me with what had happened in my absence. Mr. Winckworth had, it seems, arrived the very day of my departure, with a grand equipage, and, without delay, had made formal proposals to Mrs. Harris, offering to settle any part of his vast estate, in whatever manner she pleased, on Amelia. These proposals the old lady had, without any deliberation, accepted, and had insisted, in the most violent manner, on her daughter’s compliance, which Amelia had as peremptorily refused to give; insisting, on her part, on the consent which her mother had before given to our marriage, in which she was heartily seconded by the doctor, who declared to her, as he now did to me, ‘that we ought as much to be esteemed man and wife as if the ceremony had already past between us.’

“The good man quickly filled me in on what had happened while I was gone. Mr. Winckworth had shown up on the very day I left, with a fancy carriage, and without wasting any time, he proposed to Mrs. Harris, offering to set aside any portion of his enormous estate in whatever way she wanted for Amelia. The old lady accepted his proposals immediately and insisted, quite forcefully, that her daughter go along with it, which Amelia firmly refused to do. She insisted on the consent her mother had previously given to our marriage, which the doctor supported wholeheartedly, stating to her, as he now did to me, ‘that we should be regarded as man and wife as much as if the ceremony had already taken place.’”

“These remonstrances, the doctor told me, had worked no effect on Mrs. Harris, who still persisted in her avowed resolution of marrying her daughter to Winckworth, whom the doctor had likewise attacked, telling him that he was paying his addresses to another man’s wife; but all to no purpose; the young gentleman was too much in love to hearken to any dissuasives.

“These protests, the doctor told me, had no impact on Mrs. Harris, who still insisted on her commitment to marry her daughter to Winckworth. The doctor had also confronted him, informing him that he was pursuing another man’s wife; but it was all in vain; the young man was too much in love to listen to any advice against it.”

“We now entered into a consultation what means to employ. The doctor earnestly protested against any violence to be offered to the person of Winckworth, which, I believe, I had rashly threatened; declaring that, if I made any attempt of that kind, he would for ever abandon my cause. I made him a solemn promise of forbearance. At last he determined to pay another visit to Mrs. Harris, and, if he found her obdurate, he said he thought himself at liberty to join us together without any further consent of the mother, which every parent, he said, had a right to refuse, but not retract when given, unless the party himself, by some conduct of his, gave a reason.

“We started discussing what methods to use. The doctor strongly insisted against using any violence towards Winckworth, which I think I had foolishly suggested; he declared that if I tried anything like that, he would completely abandon my cause. I made a serious promise to him that I would hold back. Eventually, he decided to visit Mrs. Harris again, and if she remained stubborn, he said he believed he could proceed to unite us without needing further consent from the mother, which every parent, he said, had the right to deny, but once given, could not be taken back unless the individual themselves did something to justify it.”

“The doctor having made his visit with no better success than before, the matter now debated was, how to get possession of Amelia by stratagem, for she was now a closer prisoner than ever; was her mother’s bedfellow by night, and never out of her sight by day.

“The doctor made his visit with no more success than before, so the current topic of debate was how to gain access to Amelia through clever tactics, as she was now more closely guarded than ever; she shared her mother’s bed at night and was never out of her sight during the day.

“While we were deliberating on this point a wine-merchant of the town came to visit the doctor, to inform him that he had just bottled off a hogshead of excellent old port, of which he offered to spare him a hamper, saying that he was that day to send in twelve dozen to Mrs. Harris.

“While we were discussing this, a local wine merchant came to visit the doctor to let him know that he had just bottled a barrel of excellent old port and offered to give him a basket, saying he was sending twelve dozen to Mrs. Harris that day.”

“The doctor now smiled at a conceit which came into his head; and, taking me aside, asked me if I had love enough for the young lady to venture into the house in a hamper. I joyfully leapt at the proposal, to which the merchant, at the doctor’s intercession, consented; for I believe, madam, you know the great authority which that worthy mart had over the whole town. The doctor, moreover, promised to procure a license, and to perform the office for us at his house, if I could find any means of conveying Amelia thither.

“The doctor smiled at a clever idea that popped into his head, and, taking me aside, asked if I had enough love for the young lady to risk going into the house in a hamper. I eagerly accepted the suggestion, which the merchant, at the doctor’s request, agreed to; because, madam, I believe you know how much influence that respectable merchant had over the whole town. The doctor also promised to get a license and to perform the ceremony for us at his home if I could figure out a way to get Amelia there.”

“In this hamper, then, I was carried to the house, and deposited in the entry, where I had not lain long before I was again removed and packed up in a cart in order to be sent five miles into the country; for I heard the orders given as I lay in the entry; and there I likewise heard that Amelia and her mother were to follow me the next morning.

“In this basket, I was taken to the house and placed in the entryway, where I didn’t stay long before I was taken out and loaded into a cart to be sent five miles into the countryside; I heard the orders given while I lay in the entryway, and I also heard that Amelia and her mother were going to follow me the next morning."

“I was unloaded from my cart, and set down with the rest of the lumber in a great hall. Here I remained above three hours, impatiently waiting for the evening, when I determined to quit a posture which was become very uneasy, and break my prison; but Fortune contrived to release me sooner, by the following means: The house where I now was had been left in the care of one maid-servant. This faithful creature came into the hall with the footman who had driven the cart. A scene of the highest fondness having past between them, the fellow proposed, and the maid consented, to open the hamper and drink a bottle together, which, they agreed, their mistress would hardly miss in such a quantity. They presently began to execute their purpose. They opened the hamper, and, to their great surprise, discovered the contents.

“I was taken off my cart and placed with the rest of the lumber in a large hall. I stayed there for over three hours, impatiently waiting for evening, when I planned to change my uncomfortable position and break free from my confinement. However, luck had a different plan and released me sooner by the following means: The house I was in was being looked after by one maid. This loyal servant came into the hall with the footman who had driven the cart. After a scene filled with affection between them, the guy suggested, and the maid agreed, to open the hamper and share a bottle together, which they figured their mistress wouldn’t notice missing in such a large quantity. They quickly set about their plan. They opened the hamper and, to their great surprise, found out what was inside.”

“I took an immediate advantage of the consternation which appeared in the countenances of both the servants, and had sufficient presence of mind to improve the knowledge of those secrets to which I was privy. I told them that it entirely depended on their behaviour to me whether their mistress should ever be acquainted, either with what they had done or with what they had intended to do; for that if they would keep my secret I would reciprocally keep theirs. I then acquainted them with my purpose of lying concealed in the house, in order to watch an opportunity of obtaining a private interview with Amelia.

“I quickly took advantage of the shock that showed on both servants' faces and had enough sense to use what I knew to my benefit. I told them that whether their mistress would ever find out what they had done or planned to do depended entirely on how they treated me. If they kept my secret, I would keep theirs in return. I then shared my plan to stay hidden in the house so I could look for a chance to have a private meeting with Amelia.”

{Illustration: They opened The Hamper}

They opened The Hamper.

“In the situation in which these two delinquents stood, you may be assured it was not difficult for me to seal up their lips. In short, they agreed to whatever I proposed. I lay that evening in my dear Amelia’s bedchamber, and was in the morning conveyed into an old lumber-garret, where I was to wait till Amelia (whom the maid promised, on her arrival, to inform of my place of concealment) could find some opportunity of seeing me.”

“In the situation these two wrongdoers were in, you can be sure it wasn’t hard for me to keep them quiet. In short, they agreed to whatever I suggested. That evening, I lay in my dear Amelia’s bedroom and the next morning, I was taken to an old storage attic, where I would wait until Amelia (whom the maid promised to inform, upon her arrival, of where I was hiding) could find a chance to see me.”

“I ask pardon for interrupting you,” cries Miss Matthews, “but you bring to my remembrance a foolish story which I heard at that time, though at a great distance from you: That an officer had, in confederacy with Miss Harris, broke open her mother’s cellar and stole away a great quantity of her wine. I mention it only to shew you what sort of foundations most stories have.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt you,” Miss Matthews exclaims, “but you remind me of a silly story I heard back then, even though it was from far away: An officer teamed up with Miss Harris to break into her mother’s cellar and steal a lot of her wine. I bring it up just to illustrate what kind of basis most stories have.”

Booth told her he had heard some such thing himself, and then continued his story as in the next chapter.

Booth told her he had heard something like that himself, and then went on with his story as in the next chapter.










Chapter vi. — Containing many surprising adventures.

“There,” continued he, “I remained the whole day in hopes of a happiness, the expected approach of which gave me such a delight that I would not have exchanged my poor lodgings for the finest palace in the universe.

“There,” he continued, “I stayed there all day, hoping for a happiness that made me so joyful I wouldn’t have traded my humble room for the most luxurious palace in the world.

“A little after it was dark Mrs. Harris arrived, together with Amelia and her sister. I cannot express how much my heart now began to flutter; for, as my hopes every moment encreased, strange fears, which I had not felt before, began now to intermingle with them.

“A little after dark, Mrs. Harris arrived with Amelia and her sister. I can’t describe how much my heart started to race; as my hopes grew stronger by the moment, strange fears I hadn’t felt before began to mix in with them.”

“When I had continued full two hours in these circumstances, I heard a woman’s step tripping upstairs, which I fondly hoped was my Amelia; but all on a sudden the door flew open, and Mrs. Harris herself appeared at it, with a countenance pale as death, her whole body trembling, I suppose with anger; she fell upon me in the most bitter language. It is not necessary to repeat what she said, nor indeed can I, I was so shocked and confounded on this occasion. In a word, the scene ended with my departure without seeing Amelia.”

“When I had been stuck in this situation for a full two hours, I heard a woman’s footsteps coming up the stairs, and I hoped it was my Amelia; but suddenly, the door swung open, and Mrs. Harris appeared, looking as pale as a ghost, her body shaking, probably with anger. She unleashed on me with the harshest words. I don’t need to repeat what she said, and honestly, I can’t—I was so taken aback and confused. In short, the whole thing ended with me leaving without seeing Amelia.”

“And pray,” cries Miss Matthews, “how happened this unfortunate discovery?”

“And tell me,” exclaims Miss Matthews, “how did this unfortunate discovery happen?”

Booth answered, That the lady at supper ordered a bottle of wine, “which neither myself,” says he, “nor the servants had presence of mind to provide. Being told there was none in the house, though she had been before informed that the things came all safe, she had sent for the maid, who, being unable to devise any excuse, had fallen on her knees, and, after confessing her design of opening a bottle, which she imputed to the fellow, betrayed poor me to her mistress.

Booth replied that the lady at dinner had ordered a bottle of wine, “which neither I,” he said, “nor the servants had the foresight to get. When she was told there was none in the house, even though she had been previously assured that everything was fine, she called for the maid, who, unable to come up with any excuse, dropped to her knees and, after admitting her intention to open a bottle, which she blamed on the guy, ended up betraying me to her mistress.

“Well, madam, after a lecture of about a quarter of an hour’s duration from Mrs. Harris, I suffered her to conduct me to the outward gate of her court-yard, whence I set forward in a disconsolate condition of mind towards my lodgings. I had five miles to walkin a dark and rainy night: but how can I mention these trifling circumstances as any aggravation of my disappointment!”

“Well, ma'am, after listening to Mrs. Harris lecture me for about fifteen minutes, I let her lead me to the outside gate of her courtyard, from where I started to walk back to my place feeling pretty down. I had five miles to walk on a dark and rainy night, but how can I bring up these minor details as anything more than added frustration to my disappointment!”

“How was it possible,” cried Miss Matthews, “that you could be got out of the house without seeing Miss Harris?”

“How could you possibly leave the house without seeing Miss Harris?” cried Miss Matthews.

“I assure you, madam,” answered Booth, “I have often wondered at it myself; but my spirits were so much sunk at the sight of her mother, that no man was ever a greater coward than I was at that instant. Indeed, I believe my tender concern for the terrors of Amelia were the principal cause of my submission. However it was, I left the house, and walked about a hundred yards, when, at the corner of the garden-wall, a female voice, in a whisper, cried out, ‘Mr. Booth.’ The person was extremely near me, but it was so dark I could scarce see her; nor did I, in the confusion I was in, immediately recognize the voice. I answered in a line of Congreve’s, which burst from my lips spontaneously; for I am sure I had no intention to quote plays at that time.

“I promise you, ma'am,” Booth replied, “I've often wondered about it myself; but I was so overwhelmed when I saw her mother that no one could have been a bigger coward than I was at that moment. Honestly, I think my deep concern for Amelia's fears was the main reason for my giving in. Regardless, I left the house and walked about a hundred yards when, at the corner of the garden wall, I heard a female voice quietly say, ‘Mr. Booth.’ The person was really close to me, but it was so dark I could hardly see her; and in my confusion, I didn’t immediately recognize the voice. I responded with a line from Congreve that just slipped out; I definitely had no intention of quoting plays at that time.”

“‘Who calls the wretched thing that was Alphonso?’

“‘Who calls the miserable thing that was Alphonso?’”

“Upon which a woman leapt into my arms, crying out—‘O! it is indeed my Alphonso, my only Alphonso!’—O Miss Matthews! guess what I felt when I found I had my Amelia in my arms. I embraced her with an ecstasy not to be described, at the same instant pouring a thousand tendernesses into her ears; at least, if I could express so many to her in a minute, for in that time the alarm began at the house; Mrs. Harris had mist her daughter, and the court was presently full of lights and noises of all kinds.

“Then a woman jumped into my arms, exclaiming, ‘Oh! it’s really my Alphonso, my one and only Alphonso!’—Oh Miss Matthews! you can't imagine how I felt when I realized I had my Amelia in my arms. I held her tightly with an indescribable joy, pouring out a flood of affection into her ears; at least, I tried to express as much as I could in a minute, because in that moment, the alarm went off at the house; Mrs. Harris had noticed her daughter was missing, and the courtyard was quickly filled with lights and all kinds of noise.”

“I now lifted Amelia over a gate, and, jumping after, we crept along together by the side of a hedge, a different way from what led to the town, as I imagined that would be the road through which they would pursue us. In this opinion I was right; for we heard them pass along that road, and the voice of Mrs. Harris herself, who ran with the rest, notwithstanding the darkness and the rain. By these means we luckily made our escape, and clambring over hedge and ditch, my Amelia performing the part of a heroine all the way, we at length arrived at a little green lane, where stood a vast spreading oak, under which we sheltered ourselves from a violent storm.

“I picked up Amelia and carried her over a gate, then jumped after her as we crept along beside a hedge, taking a different route from the one that led to the town, thinking it would be the way they’d chase us. I was right; we heard them pass on that road, including Mrs. Harris herself, who ran alongside the others despite the darkness and rain. Thankfully, we managed to escape this way, and by climbing over hedges and ditches, with Amelia holding her own as a true heroine, we finally reached a small green lane where a massive oak tree stood, and we sheltered under it from a fierce storm.

“When this was over and the moon began to appear, Amelia declared she knew very well where she was; and, a little farther striking into another lane to the right, she said that would lead us to a house where we should be both safe and unsuspected. I followed her directions, and we at length came to a little cottage about three miles distant from Mrs. Harris’s house.

“When this was over and the moon started to rise, Amelia said she knew exactly where we were; and, a little further down another lane to the right, she mentioned that it would take us to a house where we would be safe and not draw any suspicion. I followed her lead, and eventually, we arrived at a small cottage about three miles away from Mrs. Harris’s house.”

“As it now rained very violently, we entered this cottage, in which we espied a light, without any ceremony. Here we found an elderly woman sitting by herself at a little fire, who had no sooner viewed us than she instantly sprung from her seat, and starting back gave the strongest tokens of amazement; upon which Amelia said, ‘Be not surprised, nurse, though you see me in a strange pickle, I own.’ The old woman, after having several times blessed herself, and expressed the most tender concern for the lady who stood dripping before her, began to bestir herself in making up the fire; at the same time entreating Amelia that she might be permitted to furnish her with some cloaths, which, she said, though not fine, were clean and wholesome and much dryer than her own. I seconded this motion so vehemently, that Amelia, though she declared herself under no apprehension of catching cold (she hath indeed the best constitution in the world), at last consented, and I retired without doors under a shed, to give my angel an opportunity of dressing herself in the only room which the cottage afforded belowstairs.

“As it was now raining heavily, we went into this cottage, where we saw a light, without any formalities. Inside, we found an elderly woman sitting alone by a small fire. As soon as she saw us, she jumped up from her seat and stepped back, showing clear signs of surprise. Amelia said, ‘Don't be shocked, nurse, even though I’m in quite a situation, I admit.’ The old woman, after crossing herself several times and showing deep concern for the lady standing in front of her, began to tend to the fire. At the same time, she asked Amelia if she could provide her with some clothes, which she said, though not fancy, were clean, decent, and much drier than her own. I supported this idea so strongly that Amelia, even though she insisted she wasn't worried about catching a cold (she really has the best health), finally agreed. I stepped outside under a shed to give my angel a chance to change in the only room the cottage had downstairs.”

“At my return into the room, Amelia insisted on my exchanging my coat for one which belonged to the old woman’s son.” “I am very glad,” cried Miss Matthews, “to find she did not forget you. I own I thought it somewhat cruel to turn you out into the rain.”—“O, Miss Matthews!” continued he, taking no notice of her observation, “I had now an opportunity of contemplating the vast power of exquisite beauty, which nothing almost can add to or diminish. Amelia, in the poor rags of her old nurse, looked scarce less beautiful than I have seen her appear at a ball or an assembly.” “Well, well,” cries Miss Matthews, “to be sure she did; but pray go on with your story.”

“When I came back into the room, Amelia insisted I switch my coat for one that belonged to the old woman’s son.” “I’m so glad,” exclaimed Miss Matthews, “to see she remembered you. I honestly thought it was a bit cruel to send you out into the rain.” “Oh, Miss Matthews!” he said, ignoring her comment, “I now had a chance to think about the incredible power of pure beauty, which really can’t be added to or taken away from. Amelia, in the tattered clothes of her old nurse, looked almost as beautiful as I’ve seen her at a ball or an assembly.” “Well, well,” said Miss Matthews, “of course she did; but please continue with your story.”

“The old woman,” continued he, “after having equipped us as well as she could, and placed our wet cloaths before the fire, began to grow inquisitive; and, after some ejaculations, she cried—‘O, my dear young madam! my mind misgives me hugeously; and pray who is this fine young gentleman? Oh! Miss Emmy, Miss Emmy, I am afraid madam knows nothing of all this matter.’ ‘Suppose he should be my husband, nurse,’ answered Amelia. ‘Oh! good! and if he be,’ replies the nurse, ‘I hope he is some great gentleman or other, with a vast estate and a coach and six: for to be sure, if an he was the greatest lord in the land, you would deserve it all.’ But why do I attempt to mimic the honest creature? In short, she discovered the greatest affection for my Amelia; with which I was much more delighted than I was offended at the suspicions she shewed of me, or the many bitter curses which she denounced against me, if I ever proved a bad husband to so sweet a young lady.

“The old woman,” he continued, “after doing her best to help us and put our wet clothes in front of the fire, started getting curious; and after some exclamations, she said—‘Oh, my dear young lady! I have a terrible feeling about this; and who is this fine young gentleman? Oh! Miss Emmy, Miss Emmy, I’m afraid madam doesn’t know anything about this situation.’ ‘What if he’s my husband, nurse?’ Amelia replied. ‘Oh! great! And if he is,’ the nurse responded, ‘I hope he’s some big shot or something, with a huge estate and a fancy carriage: because honestly, even if he were the greatest lord in the land, you’d deserve it all.’ But why am I trying to imitate the honest woman? In short, she showed a lot of affection for my Amelia; and I was much more pleased by that than upset by her suspicions about me or the many harsh curses she directed at me if I ever turned out to be a bad husband to such a sweet young lady.

“I so well improved the hint given me by Amelia, that the old woman had no doubt of our being really married; and, comforting herself that, if it was not as well as it might have been, yet madam had enough for us both, and that happiness did not always depend on great riches, she began to rail at the old lady for having turned us out of doors, which I scarce told an untruth in asserting. And when Amelia said, ‘She hoped her nurse would not betray her,’ the good woman answered with much warmth—‘Betray you, my dear young madam! no, that I would not, if the king would give me all that he is worth: no, not if madam herself would give me the great house, and the whole farm belonging to it.’

“I took Amelia's hint to heart so well that the old woman had no doubt we were truly married. Comforting herself with the thought that, even if our situation wasn't perfect, at least we had enough thanks to her, and that happiness doesn’t always rely on wealth, she started to scold the old lady for throwing us out, which I hardly lied about. And when Amelia said, ‘I hope my nurse won’t betray me,’ the kind woman replied passionately, ‘Betray you, my dear young lady? No, I wouldn’t do that, even if the king offered me all his riches; not even if you yourself offered me the big house and the entire farm that comes with it.’”

“The good woman then went out and fetched a chicken from the roost, which she killed, and began to pick, without asking any questions. Then, summoning her son, who was in bed, to her assistance, she began to prepare this chicken for our supper. This she afterwards set before us in so neat, I may almost say elegant, a manner, that whoever would have disdained it either doth not know the sensation of hunger, or doth not deserve to have it gratified. Our food was attended with some ale, which our kind hostess said she intended not to have tapped till Christmas; ‘but,’ added she, ‘I little thought ever to have the honour of seeing my dear honoured lady in this poor place.’

“The good woman then went out and got a chicken from the coop, which she killed and started to clean, without asking any questions. Then, calling her son, who was in bed, to help her, she began to prepare this chicken for our dinner. She later served it to us so neatly, I might even say elegantly, that anyone who would turn their nose up at it either doesn't know what real hunger feels like or doesn't deserve to have it satisfied. Our meal was accompanied by some ale, which our kind hostess mentioned she wasn't planning to tap until Christmas; ‘but,’ she added, ‘I never thought I’d have the honor of seeing my dear honored lady in this humble place.’”

“For my own part, no human being was then an object of envy to me, and even Amelia seemed to be in pretty good spirits; she softly whispered to me that she perceived there might be happiness in a cottage.”

“For me, no one was really someone I envied, and even Amelia looked to be in pretty good spirits; she quietly told me that she thought there could be happiness in a cottage.”

“A cottage!” cries Miss Matthews, sighing, “a cottage, with the man one loves, is a palace.”

“A cottage!” exclaims Miss Matthews, sighing. “A cottage, with the person one loves, is a palace.”

“When supper was ended,” continued Booth, “the good woman began to think of our further wants, and very earnestly recommended her bed to us, saying, it was a very neat, though homely one, and that she could furnish us with a pair of clean sheets. She added some persuasives which painted my angel all over with vermilion. As for myself, I behaved so awkwardly and foolishly, and so readily agreed to Amelia’s resolution of sitting up all night, that, if it did not give the nurse any suspicion of our marriage, it ought to have inspired her with the utmost contempt for me.

“When dinner was over,” Booth continued, “the kind woman started thinking about what we needed next and very earnestly suggested her bed to us, saying it was quite tidy, if plain, and that she could provide us with a pair of clean sheets. She added some convincing words that made my angel blush all over. As for me, I acted so clumsily and foolishly, and so eagerly accepted Amelia’s decision to stay up all night, that if it didn’t make the nurse suspicious of our marriage, it should have filled her with the highest disdain for me.”

“We both endeavoured to prevail with nurse to retire to her own bed, but found it utterly impossible to succeed; she thanked Heaven she understood breeding better than that. And so well bred was the good woman, that we could scarce get her out of the room the whole night. Luckily for us, we both understood French, by means of which we consulted together, even in her presence, upon the measures we were to take in our present exigency. At length it was resolved that I should send a letter by this young lad, whom I have just before mentioned, to our worthy friend the doctor, desiring his company at our hut, since we thought it utterly unsafe to venture to the town, which we knew would be in an uproar on our account before the morning.”

“We both tried to convince the nurse to go to her own bed, but it was completely impossible to get her to budge; she thanked heaven that she knew better than that. The good woman was so well-mannered that we could hardly get her out of the room all night. Fortunately for us, we both understood French, which allowed us to discuss our plans together, even in her presence, about what to do in our current situation. Eventually, we decided that I should send a letter with this young lad I mentioned earlier to our good friend the doctor, asking him to come to our hut, since we thought it was completely unsafe to go into town, which we knew would be in chaos because of us by morning.”

Here Booth made a full stop, smiled, and then said he was going to mention so ridiculous a distress, that he could scarce think of it without laughing. What this was the reader shall know in the next chapter.

Here Booth made a complete stop, smiled, and then said he was going to mention such a ridiculous problem that he could hardly think about it without laughing. What this was, the reader will find out in the next chapter.










Chapter vii. — The story of Booth continued.—More surprising adventures.

“From what trifles, dear Miss Matthews,” cried Booth, “may some of our greatest distresses arise!” Do you not perceive I am going to tell you we had neither pen, ink, nor paper, in our present exigency?

“From what small things, dear Miss Matthews,” exclaimed Booth, “can some of our biggest troubles come!” Don’t you see that I’m about to tell you we had no pen, ink, or paper in our current situation?

A verbal message was now our only resource; however, we contrived to deliver it in such terms, that neither nurse nor her son could possibly conceive any suspicion from it of the present situation of our affairs. Indeed, Amelia whispered me, I might safely place any degree of confidence in the lad; for he had been her foster-brother, and she had a great opinion of his integrity. He was in truth a boy of very good natural parts; and Dr Harrison, who had received him into his family, at Amelia’s recommendation, had bred him up to write and read very well, and had taken some pains to infuse into him the principles of honesty and religion. He was not, indeed, even now discharged from the doctor’s service, but had been at home with his mother for some time, on account of the small-pox, from which he was lately recovered.

A verbal message was now our only option; however, we managed to deliver it in such a way that neither the nurse nor her son could possibly suspect anything about our current situation. In fact, Amelia whispered to me that I could trust the boy completely because he had been her foster-brother, and she thought highly of his integrity. He was indeed a good kid with a lot of potential; and Dr. Harrison, who had taken him into his home on Amelia's recommendation, had raised him to read and write very well and had put in the effort to instill principles of honesty and faith in him. He wasn't officially done with the doctor's service yet, but he had been at home with his mother for a while due to the smallpox, from which he had recently recovered.

“I have said so much,” continued Booth, “of the boy’s character, that you may not be surprised at some stories which I shall tell you of him hereafter.

“I have said so much,” Booth continued, “about the boy’s character that you might not be surprised by some stories I’ll share about him later.”

“I am going now, madam, to relate to you one of those strange accidents which are produced by such a train of circumstances, that mere chance hath been thought incapable of bringing them together; and which have therefore given birth, in superstitious minds, to Fortune, and to several other imaginary beings.

“I’m going to tell you about one of those strange accidents that happen due to a series of circumstances so unlikely that people think chance couldn't possibly bring them together. Because of this, superstitious minds have created ideas about Fortune and other imaginary beings.”

“We were now impatiently expecting the arrival of the doctor; our messenger had been gone much more than a sufficient time, which to us, you may be assured, appeared not at all shorter than it was, when nurse, who had gone out of doors on some errand, came running hastily to us, crying out, ‘O my dear young madam, her ladyship’s coach is just at the door!’ Amelia turned pale as death at these words; indeed, I feared she would have fainted, if I could be said to fear, who had scarce any of my senses left, and was in a condition little better than my angel’s.

“We were eagerly waiting for the doctor to arrive; our messenger had been gone for much longer than we expected, which felt like an eternity. Just then, the nurse, who had stepped outside on some errand, came running back to us, shouting, ‘Oh my dear young lady, her ladyship’s coach is just at the door!’ Amelia went pale as a ghost upon hearing this; honestly, I was afraid she might faint, and I could hardly be said to fear, as I had barely any senses left myself and was in a state almost as bad as my angel’s.”

“While we were both in this dreadful situation, Amelia fallen back in her chair with the countenance in which ghosts are painted, myself at her feet, with a complexion of no very different colour, and nurse screaming out and throwing water in Amelia’s face, Mrs. Harris entered the room. At the sight of this scene she threw herself likewise into a chair, and called immediately for a glass of water, which Miss Betty her daughter supplied her with; for, as to nurse, nothing was capable of making any impression on her whilst she apprehended her young mistress to be in danger.

“While we were both stuck in this horrible situation, Amelia slumped back in her chair with the expression of someone who's seen a ghost, and I was sitting at her feet, looking just as pale. The nurse was screaming and splashing water on Amelia's face when Mrs. Harris walked into the room. At the sight of this scene, she also collapsed into a chair and immediately asked for a glass of water, which her daughter Miss Betty brought to her; because, as for the nurse, nothing could distract her while she thought her young mistress was in danger.

“The doctor had now entered the room, and, coming immediately up to Amelia, after some expressions of surprize, he took her by the hand, called her his little sugar-plum, and assured her there were none but friends present. He then led her tottering across the room to Mrs. Harris. Amelia then fell upon her knees before her mother; but the doctor caught her up, saying, ‘Use that posture, child, only to the Almighty!’ but I need not mention this singularity of his to you who know him so well, and must have heard him often dispute against addressing ourselves to man in the humblest posture which we use towards the Supreme Being.

“The doctor had now entered the room and, after a few surprised remarks, he came right up to Amelia, took her hand, called her his little sugar-plum, and assured her that only friends were present. He then helped her unsteadily cross the room to Mrs. Harris. Amelia knelt before her mother, but the doctor picked her up, saying, ‘Use that posture, child, only for the Almighty!’ but I don’t need to point out this quirk of his to you who know him so well and must have often heard him argue against addressing ourselves to others in the same humble posture we use for the Supreme Being.”

“I will tire you with no more particulars: we were soon satisfied that the doctor had reconciled us and our affairs to Mrs. Harris; and we now proceeded directly to church, the doctor having before provided a licence for us.”

“I won't bore you with any more details: we quickly realized that the doctor had sorted things out between us and Mrs. Harris; and we then went straight to church, as the doctor had already gotten a license for us.”

“But where is the strange accident?” cries Miss Matthews; “sure you have raised more curiosity than you have satisfied.”

“But where's the odd accident?” Miss Matthews exclaims; “you've definitely stirred up more curiosity than you've satisfied.”

“Indeed, madam,” answered he, “your reproof is just; I had like to have forgotten it; but you cannot wonder at me when you reflect on that interesting part of my story which I am now relating.—But before I mention this accident I must tell you what happened after Amelia’s escape from her mother’s house. Mrs. Harris at first ran out into the lane among her servants, and pursued us (so she imagined) along the road leading to the town; but that being very dirty, and a violent storm of rain coming, she took shelter in an alehouse about half a mile from her own house, whither she sent for her coach; she then drove, together with her daughter, to town, where, soon after her arrival, she sent for the doctor, her usual privy counsellor in all her affairs. They sat up all night together, the doctor endeavouring, by arguments and persuasions, to bring Mrs. Harris to reason; but all to no purpose, though, as he hath informed me, Miss Betty seconded him with the warmest entreaties.”

“Of course, ma'am,” he replied, “your criticism is fair; I almost forgot about it, but you can't blame me when you think about that fascinating part of my story that I'm sharing now.—But before I get to that incident, I need to tell you what happened after Amelia got away from her mother’s house. Mrs. Harris initially ran out into the street with her servants and thought she was chasing us down the road to town; but since the road was really muddy and a heavy rainstorm was coming, she took shelter in a pub about half a mile from her home, where she called for her coach. She then drove, along with her daughter, to town, and shortly after they arrived, she called for the doctor, her usual trusted advisor in all matters. They stayed up all night together, with the doctor trying, through arguments and persuasion, to help Mrs. Harris see reason; but it was all in vain, although, as he told me, Miss Betty supported him with the most passionate pleas.”

Here Miss Matthews laughed; of which Booth begged to know the reason: she, at last, after many apologies, said, “It was the first good thing she ever heard of Miss Betty; nay,” said she, “and asking your pardon for my opinion of your sister, since you will have it, I always conceived her to be the deepest of hypocrites.”

Here Miss Matthews laughed, and Booth asked what was so funny. After a few apologies, she finally said, “It was the first nice thing I ever heard about Miss Betty. And, with all due respect for my opinion about your sister, since you want to know, I always thought she was the biggest hypocrite around.”

Booth fetched a sigh, and said he was afraid she had not always acted so kindly;—and then, after a little hesitation, proceeded:

Booth let out a sigh and said he was afraid she hadn't always been so nice;—and then, after a bit of hesitation, continued:

“You will be pleased, madam, to remember the lad was sent with a verbal message to the doctor: which message was no more than to acquaint him where we were, and to desire the favour of his company, or that he would send a coach to bring us to whatever place he would please to meet us at. This message was to be delivered to the doctor himself, and the messenger was ordered, if he found him not at home, to go to him wherever he was. He fulfilled his orders and told it to the doctor in the presence of Mrs. Harris.”

“You’ll be happy to remember, madam, that the young man was sent with a message for the doctor: which message was simply to inform him of our location and to ask for his company, or to send a carriage to take us to wherever he would like to meet us. This message was to be given directly to the doctor, and the messenger was instructed to find him wherever he might be if he wasn’t home. He carried out his instructions and relayed the message to the doctor in front of Mrs. Harris.”

“Oh, the idiot!” cries Miss Matthews. “Not at all,” answered Booth: “he is a very sensible fellow, as you will, perhaps, say hereafter. He had not the least reason to suspect that any secrecy was necessary; for we took the utmost care he should not suspect it.—Well, madam, this accident, which appeared so unfortunate, turned in the highest degree to our advantage. Mrs. Harris no sooner heard the message delivered than she fell into the most violent passion imaginable, and accused the doctor of being in the plot, and of having confederated with me in the design of carrying off her daughter.

“Oh, what an idiot!” Miss Matthews exclaims. “Not at all,” Booth replies, “he's actually a really sensible guy, as you might agree later on. He had no reason to think that any secrecy was needed, because we made sure he wouldn’t suspect anything. Well, madam, this incident, which seemed so unfortunate, actually turned out to be very beneficial for us. As soon as Mrs. Harris heard the message, she exploded in the most intense rage imaginable, accusing the doctor of being a part of the scheme and of teaming up with me to take her daughter away.”

“The doctor, who had hitherto used only soothing methods, now talked in a different strain. He confessed the accusation and justified his conduct. He said he was no meddler in the family affairs of others, nor should he have concerned himself with hers, but at her own request; but that, since Mrs. Harris herself had made him an agent in this matter, he would take care to acquit himself with honour, and above all things to preserve a young lady for whom he had the highest esteem; ‘for she is,’ cries he, and, by heavens, he said true, ‘the most worthy, generous, and noble of all human beings. You have yourself, madam,’ said he, ‘consented to the match. I have, at your request, made the match;’ and then he added some particulars relating to his opinion of me, which my modesty forbids me to repeat.”—“Nay, but,” cries Miss Matthews, “I insist on your conquest of that modesty for once. We women do not love to hear one another’s praises, and I will be made amends by hearing the praises of a man, and of a man whom, perhaps,” added she with a leer, “I shall not think much the better of upon that account.”—“In obedience to your commands, then, madam,” continued he, “the doctor was so kind to say he had enquired into my character and found that I had been a dutiful son and an affectionate brother. Relations, said he, in which whoever discharges his duty well, gives us a well-grounded hope that he will behave as properly in all the rest. He concluded with saying that Amelia’s happiness, her heart, nay, her very reputation, were all concerned in this matter, to which, as he had been made instrumental, he was resolved to carry her through it; and then, taking the licence from his pocket, declared to Mrs. Harris that he would go that instant and marry her daughter wherever he found her. This speech, the doctor’s voice, his look, and his behaviour, all which are sufficiently calculated to inspire awe, and even terror, when he pleases, frightened poor Mrs. Harris, and wrought a more sensible effect than it was in his power to produce by all his arguments and entreaties; and I have already related what followed.

“The doctor, who had previously only used gentle methods, now spoke differently. He admitted the accusation and defended his actions. He said he wasn't someone who meddled in other people's family matters, nor should he have gotten involved with hers, but at her request. However, since Mrs. Harris herself had made him an agent in this situation, he would make sure to fulfill his duty honorably, and above all, to protect a young lady he held in high regard. 'Because she is,' he exclaimed, and truly, he was right, 'the most worthy, generous, and noble of all people. You have agreed to the match yourself, madam,' he said, 'I have, at your request, arranged the match;' and then he added some comments about his opinion of me, which my modesty prevents me from revealing."—"But," cried Miss Matthews, "I insist you overcome that modesty just this once. We women don’t usually like to hear each other's praises, and I want to be compensated by hearing a man's praise, especially for a man who, perhaps," she added with a wink, "I won't think much more of for it."—"In compliance with your wishes, madam," he continued, "the doctor kindly said he had looked into my character and found that I had been a dutiful son and a caring brother. He said that anyone who fulfills those roles properly gives us good reason to hope they will act appropriately in all other matters. He finished by saying that Amelia’s happiness, her heart, and even her reputation were all at stake here, and since he had been involved, he was determined to see her through this. Then, taking the marriage license from his pocket, he announced to Mrs. Harris that he would go right now and marry her daughter wherever he found her. This statement, along with the doctor's tone, his look, and his demeanor, all designed to inspire respect and even fear when he wanted to, startled poor Mrs. Harris and had a more profound effect than all his arguments and pleas could have achieved; and I have already recounted what happened next."

“Thus the strange accident of our wanting pen, ink, and paper, and our not trusting the boy with our secret, occasioned the discovery to Mrs. Harris; that discovery put the doctor upon his metal, and produced that blessed event which I have recounted to you, and which, as my mother hath since confessed, nothing but the spirit which he had exerted after the discovery could have brought about.

"Therefore, the odd situation of needing a pen, ink, and paper, along with not trusting the boy with our secret, led to Mrs. Harris finding out; that discovery motivated the doctor, resulting in that wonderful event I've shared with you, which, as my mother has since admitted, could only have happened because of the effort he put in after the discovery."

“Well, madam, you now see me married to Amelia; in which situation you will, perhaps, think my happiness incapable of addition. Perhaps it was so; and yet I can with truth say that the love which I then bore Amelia was not comparable to what I bear her now.” “Happy Amelia!” cried Miss Matthews. “If all men were like you, all women would be blessed; nay, the whole world would be so in a great measure; for, upon my soul, I believe that from the damned inconstancy of your sex to ours proceeds half the miseries of mankind.”

“Well, madam, you see me married to Amelia now; in this situation, you might think my happiness couldn't improve. Maybe that's true; still, I can honestly say that the love I had for Amelia then is nothing compared to what I feel for her now.” “Happy Amelia!” Miss Matthews exclaimed. “If all men were like you, all women would be fortunate; in fact, the whole world would be so to a large extent; because, honestly, I believe that half the suffering in the world comes from the damnable inconsistency of your gender towards ours.”

That we may give the reader leisure to consider well the foregoing sentiment, we will here put an end to this chapter.

That we will allow the reader some time to think about the previous idea, we will end this chapter here.










Chapter viii. — In which our readers will probably be divided in their opinion of Mr. Booth’s conduct.

Booth proceeded as follows:—

Booth continued as follows:—

“The first months of our marriage produced nothing remarkable enough to mention. I am sure I need not tell Miss Matthews that I found in my Amelia every perfection of human nature. Mrs. Harris at first gave us some little uneasiness. She had rather yielded to the doctor than given a willing consent to the match; however, by degrees, she became more and more satisfied, and at last seemed perfectly reconciled. This we ascribed a good deal to the kind offices of Miss Betty, who had always appeared to be my friend. She had been greatly assisting to Amelia in making her escape, which I had no opportunity of mentioning to you before, and in all things behaved so well, outwardly at least, to myself as well as her sister, that we regarded her as our sincerest friend.

The first months of our marriage were pretty unremarkable. I don’t need to tell Miss Matthews that I saw every perfection of human nature in my Amelia. Mrs. Harris initially caused us some concern. She seemed to have reluctantly accepted the match rather than being fully on board with it; however, over time, she became more and more satisfied and eventually seemed completely okay with it. We largely credited this shift to the helpfulness of Miss Betty, who always seemed to be my ally. She played a big role in helping Amelia escape, something I hadn’t had the chance to mention to you before, and in every way she treated both me and her sister so well on the surface that we considered her our truest friend.

“About half a year after our marriage two additional companies were added to our regiment, in one of which I was preferred to the command of a lieutenant. Upon this occasion Miss Betty gave the first intimation of a disposition which we have since too severely experienced.”

“About six months after we got married, two more companies joined our regiment, and I was chosen to be a lieutenant in one of them. On this occasion, Miss Betty hinted at a tendency that we have since felt the consequences of too much.”

“Your servant, sir,” says Miss Matthews; “then I find I was not mistaken in my opinion of the lady.—No, no, shew me any goodness in a censorious prude, and—”

“Your servant, sir,” says Miss Matthews; “so I see I wasn’t wrong in my view of the lady.—No, no, show me any kindness in a critical prude, and—”

As Miss Matthews hesitated for a simile or an execration, Booth proceeded: “You will please to remember, madam, there was formerly an agreement between myself and Mrs. Harris that I should settle all my Amelia’s fortune on her, except a certain sum, which was to be laid out in my advancement in the army; but, as our marriage was carried on in the manner you have heard, no such agreement was ever executed. And since I was become Amelia’s husband not a word of this matter was ever mentioned by the old lady; and as for myself, I declare I had not yet awakened from that delicious dream of bliss in which the possession of Amelia had lulled me.”

As Miss Matthews paused, trying to find a comparison or a curse, Booth continued: “Please remember, ma’am, there was once an agreement between me and Mrs. Harris that I would secure all of Amelia’s fortune for her, except for a certain amount to be invested in my military advancement. However, since our marriage happened the way you’ve heard, that agreement was never put into action. And since I became Amelia’s husband, the old lady never mentioned this matter again; as for me, I honestly hadn’t yet come out of that wonderful dream of happiness where having Amelia was all I needed.”

Here Miss Matthews sighed, and cast the tenderest of looks on Booth, who thus continued his story:—

Here Miss Matthews sighed and gave Booth the most tender look, prompting him to continue his story:—

“Soon after my promotion Mrs. Harris one morning took an occasion to speak to me on this affair. She said, that, as I had been promoted gratis to a lieutenancy, she would assist me with money to carry me yet a step higher; and, if more was required than was formerly mentioned, it should not be wanting, since she was so perfectly satisfied with my behaviour to her daughter. Adding that she hoped I had still the same inclination to settle on my wife the remainder of her fortune.

“Soon after my promotion, Mrs. Harris one morning took the opportunity to talk to me about this matter. She said that, since I had been promoted for free to a lieutenancy, she would help me with money to take me yet a step higher; and, if more was needed than what was mentioned before, it wouldn’t be a problem, as she was very pleased with how I treated her daughter. She added that she hoped I still wanted to settle the rest of her fortune on my wife.”

“I answered with very warm acknowledgments of my mother’s goodness, and declared, if I had the world, I was ready to lay it at my Amelia’s feet.—And so, Heaven knows, I would ten thousand worlds.

“I responded with heartfelt thanks for my mother’s kindness, and proclaimed that if I had the world, I would gladly lay it at Amelia’s feet. And truly, Heaven knows, I would give ten thousand worlds for her.”

“Mrs. Harris seemed pleased with the warmth of my sentiments, and said she would immediately send to her lawyer and give him the necessary orders; and thus ended our conversation on this subject.

“Mrs. Harris seemed happy with how I expressed my feelings and said she would go ahead and contact her lawyer to give him the necessary instructions; and that wrapped up our conversation on this topic."

“From this time there was a very visible alteration in Miss Betty’s behaviour. She grew reserved to her sister as well as to me. She was fretful and captious on the slightest occasion; nay, she affected much to talk on the ill consequences of an imprudent marriage, especially before her mother; and if ever any little tenderness or endearments escaped me in public towards Amelia, she never failed to make some malicious remark on the short duration of violent passions; and, when I have expressed a fond sentiment for my wife, her sister would kindly wish she might hear as much seven years hence.

“From this point on, there was a noticeable change in Miss Betty’s behavior. She became distant with both her sister and me. She was irritable and overly critical at the slightest provocation; in fact, she often talked about the negative effects of an impulsive marriage, especially in front of her mother. If I ever showed any affection or kindness towards Amelia in public, she would always make some spiteful comment about how short-lived intense emotions can be; and whenever I expressed love for my wife, her sister would politely hope that she would hear the same thing seven years later.”

“All these matters have been since suggested to us by reflection; for, while they actually past, both Amelia and myself had our thoughts too happily engaged to take notice of what discovered itself in the mind of any other person.

“All these matters have come to our attention through reflection; while they were actually happening, both Amelia and I were too happily absorbed in our own thoughts to notice what was going on in anyone else's mind.

“Unfortunately for us, Mrs. Harris’s lawyer happened at this time to be at London, where business detained him upwards of a month, and, as Mrs. Harris would on no occasion employ any other, our affair was under an entire suspension till his return.

“Unfortunately for us, Mrs. Harris’s lawyer happened to be in London at this time, where business kept him for over a month. Since Mrs. Harris would never hire anyone else, our situation was completely on hold until he came back.”

“Amelia, who was now big with child, had often expressed the deepest concern at her apprehensions of my being some time commanded abroad; a circumstance, which she declared if it should ever happen to her, even though she should not then be in the same situation as at present, would infallibly break her heart. These remonstrances were made with such tenderness, and so much affected me, that, to avoid any probability of such an event, I endeavoured to get an exchange into the horse-guards, a body of troops which very rarely goes abroad, unless where the king himself commands in person. I soon found an officer for my purpose, the terms were agreed on, and Mrs. Harris had ordered the money which I was to pay to be ready, notwithstanding the opposition made by Miss Betty, who openly dissuaded her mother from it; alledging that the exchange was highly to my disadvantage; that I could never hope to rise in the army after it; not forgetting, at the same time, some insinuations very prejudicial to my reputation as a soldier.

“Amelia, who was now heavily pregnant, often voiced her deep worries about the possibility of me being sent abroad; she claimed that if that ever happened to her, even if her situation were different then, it would surely break her heart. Her protests were so heartfelt and affected me so much that, to avoid any chance of such an event, I tried to get a transfer to the horse guards, a group that rarely serves overseas unless the king himself is in command. I quickly found an officer who could help with this, we agreed on the terms, and Mrs. Harris arranged for the money I needed to pay to be ready, despite Miss Betty's objections, who openly tried to convince her mother against it. She argued that the transfer would significantly harm my career, that I would never advance in the army after this, and she also made some damaging insinuations about my reputation as a soldier.”

“When everything was agreed on, and the two commissions were actually made out, but not signed by the king, one day, at my return from hunting, Amelia flew to me, and eagerly embracing me, cried out, ‘O Billy, I have news for you which delights my soul. Nothing sure was ever so fortunate as the exchange you have made. The regiment you was formerly in is ordered for Gibraltar.’

“When everything was settled, and the two commissions were actually prepared but not signed by the king, one day, when I returned from hunting, Amelia rushed to me, and eagerly hugged me, saying, ‘Oh Billy, I have news that makes me so happy. Nothing could be as lucky as the exchange you made. The regiment you were in before is being sent to Gibraltar.’”

“I received this news with far less transport than it was delivered. I answered coldly, since the case was so, I heartily hoped the commissions might be both signed. ‘What do you say?’ replied Amelia eagerly; ‘sure you told me everything was entirely settled. That look of yours frightens me to death.’—But I am running into too minute particulars. In short, I received a letter by that very post from the officer with whom I had exchanged, insisting that, though his majesty had not signed the commissions, that still the bargain was valid, partly urging it as a right, and partly desiring it as a favour, that he might go to Gibraltar in my room.

“I received this news with far less excitement than it was delivered. I responded coldly, since the situation was what it was, and I sincerely hoped the commissions could both be signed. ‘What do you mean?’ replied Amelia eagerly; ‘you told me everything was completely settled. That look on your face scares me to death.’—But I’m getting into too many details. In short, I received a letter in that very post from the officer I had swapped with, insisting that, although his majesty hadn't signed the commissions, the agreement was still valid, partly arguing it as a right and partly asking it as a favor so he could go to Gibraltar in my place.”

“This letter convinced me in every point. I was now informed that the commissions were not signed, and consequently that the exchange was not compleated; of consequence the other could have no right to insist on going; and, as for granting him such a favour, I too clearly saw I must do it at the expense of my honour. I was now reduced to a dilemma, the most dreadful which I think any man can experience; in which, I am not ashamed to own, I found love was not so overmatched by honour as he ought to have been. The thoughts of leaving Amelia in her present condition to misery, perhaps to death or madness, were insupportable; nor could any other consideration but that which now tormented me on the other side have combated them a moment.”

“This letter convinced me on every point. I was now informed that the commissions were not signed, and as a result, the exchange was not complete; therefore, the other person had no right to insist on leaving. And as for granting him such a favor, I clearly saw that I would have to do it at the cost of my honor. I was now stuck in a dilemma, the most dreadful one I think any man can experience; in which, I’m not ashamed to admit, I found that love was not as overshadowed by honor as it should have been. The thought of leaving Amelia in her current condition, facing misery and possibly death or madness, was unbearable; nothing else could have opposed that thought for even a moment.”

“No woman upon earth,” cries Miss Matthews, “can despise want of spirit in a man more than myself; and yet I cannot help thinking you was rather too nice on this occasion.”

“No woman on earth,” exclaims Miss Matthews, “can dislike a man lacking spirit more than I do; and yet I can’t help thinking you were a bit too particular in this case.”

“You will allow, madam,” answered Booth, “that whoever offends against the laws of honour in the least instance is treated as the highest delinquent. Here is no excuse, no pardon; and he doth nothing who leaves anything undone. But if the conflict was so terrible with myself alone, what was my situation in the presence of Amelia? how could I support her sighs, her tears, her agonies, her despair? could I bear to think myself the cruel cause of her sufferings? for so I was: could I endure the thought of having it in my power to give her instant relief, for so it was, and refuse it her?

"You have to agree, ma'am," Booth replied, "that anyone who violates the laws of honor, even in small ways, is treated like the worst offender. There’s no excuse, no forgiveness; and doing nothing is still doing nothing wrong. But if I was struggling so much on my own, what was I supposed to do in front of Amelia? How could I handle her sighs, her tears, her pain, her despair? Could I bear to think that I was the one causing her suffering? Because I was. Could I stand the idea that I had the power to ease her pain right away, and then choose not to help her?"

“Miss Betty was now again become my friend. She had scarce been civil to me for a fortnight last past, yet now she commended me to the skies, and as severely blamed her sister, whom she arraigned of the most contemptible weakness in preferring my safety to my honour: she said many ill-natured things on the occasion, which I shall not now repeat.

“Miss Betty had become my friend again. She had hardly been polite to me for the past two weeks, yet now she praised me to no end and harshly criticized her sister, whom she accused of the lowest kind of weakness for prioritizing my safety over my honor. She made many spiteful remarks about this that I won’t repeat now.”

“In the midst of this hurricane the good doctor came to dine with Mrs. Harris, and at my desire delivered his opinion on the matter.”

“In the middle of this hurricane, the good doctor came over to have dinner with Mrs. Harris, and at my request, shared his opinion on the situation.”

Here Mr. Booth was interrupted in his narrative by the arrival of a person whom we shall introduce in the next chapter.

Here Mr. Booth was interrupted in his story by the arrival of someone we will introduce in the next chapter.










Chapter ix. — Containing a scene of a different kind from any of the preceding.

The gentleman who now arrived was the keeper; or, if you please (for so he pleased to call himself), the governor of the prison.

The man who just arrived was the warden; or, if you prefer (since that's how he liked to refer to himself), the governor of the prison.

He used so little ceremony at his approach, that the bolt, which was very slight on the inside, gave way, and the door immediately flew open. He had no sooner entered the room than he acquainted Miss Matthews that he had brought her very good news, for which he demanded a bottle of wine as his due.

He approached with so little formality that the bolt, which was quite flimsy on the inside, gave way, and the door swung open. As soon as he stepped into the room, he informed Miss Matthews that he had great news for her, for which he requested a bottle of wine as his due.

This demand being complied with, he acquainted Miss Matthews that the wounded gentleman was not dead, nor was his wound thought to be mortal: that loss of blood, and perhaps his fright, had occasioned his fainting away; “but I believe, madam,” said he, “if you take the proper measures you may be bailed to-morrow. I expect the lawyer here this evening, and if you put the business into his hands I warrant it will be done. Money to be sure must be parted with, that’s to be sure. People to be sure will expect to touch a little in such cases. For my own part, I never desire to keep a prisoner longer than the law allows, not I; I always inform them they can be bailed as soon as I know it; I never make any bargain, not I; I always love to leave those things to the gentlemen and ladies themselves. I never suspect gentlemen and ladies of wanting generosity.”

Once this request was fulfilled, he informed Miss Matthews that the injured man was not dead, nor was his injury considered life-threatening: that his fainting was likely due to blood loss and possibly his fear. “But I believe, madam,” he said, “if you take the right steps, you may be able to secure bail by tomorrow. I expect the lawyer to arrive this evening, and if you hand the case over to him, I guarantee it will be handled. Money will certainly need to change hands, that's for sure. People naturally expect to get a little something in these cases. As for me, I never want to keep a prisoner longer than the law permits; I always let them know they can be bailed as soon as I find out. I never make any deals, not at all; I prefer to leave those matters to the gentlemen and ladies themselves. I never suspect gentlemen and ladies of lacking generosity.”

Miss Matthews made a very slight answer to all these friendly professions. She said she had done nothing she repented of, and was indifferent as to the event. “All I can say,” cries she, “is, that if the wretch is alive there is no greater villain in life than himself;” and, instead of mentioning anything of the bail, she begged the keeper to leave her again alone with Mr. Booth. The keeper replied, “Nay, madam, perhaps it may be better to stay a little longer here, if you have not bail ready, than to buy them too dear. Besides, a day or two hence, when the gentleman is past all danger of recovery, to be sure some folks that would expect an extraordinary fee now cannot expect to touch anything. And to be sure you shall want nothing here. The best of all things are to be had here for money, both eatable and drinkable: though I say it, I shan’t turn my back to any of the taverns for either eatables or wind. The captain there need not have been so shy of owning himself when he first came in; we have had captains and other great gentlemen here before now; and no shame to them, though I say it. Many a great gentleman is sometimes found in places that don’t become them half so well, let me tell them that, Captain Booth, let me tell them that.”

Miss Matthews gave a very brief response to all these friendly gestures. She said she hadn't done anything she regretted and was indifferent about the outcome. “All I can say,” she exclaimed, “is that if the scoundrel is alive, there’s no bigger villain in the world than he is;” and instead of discussing the bail, she asked the keeper to leave her alone again with Mr. Booth. The keeper replied, “Well, madam, it might be better to stay here a bit longer if you don’t have the bail ready, rather than paying too much for it. Also, a day or two from now, when the gentleman is out of danger, those people who expect a big fee now won’t be able to demand anything. And don’t worry, you won't lack for anything here. The best of everything is available here for money, both food and drink: though I have to say, I won’t ignore any of the taverns for either food or drink. The captain didn’t need to be so hesitant about admitting who he was when he first came in; we’ve had captains and other important gentlemen here before, and there’s no shame in it, believe me. Many a fine gentleman can sometimes be found in places that don’t suit them as well, I’ll tell you that, Captain Booth, I’ll tell you that.”

“I see, sir,” answered Booth, a little discomposed, “that you are acquainted with my title as well as my name.”

“I see, sir,” Booth replied, feeling a bit flustered, “that you know my title as well as my name.”

“Ay, sir,” cries the keeper, “and I honour you the more for it. I love the gentlemen of the army. I was in the army myself formerly; in the Lord of Oxford’s horse. It is true I rode private; but I had money enough to have bought in quarter-master, when I took it into my head to marry, and my wife she did not like that I should continue a soldier, she was all for a private life; and so I came to this business.”

“Aye, sir,” the keeper shouts, “and I respect you even more for it. I admire the guys in the army. I was in the army myself once; I served in the Lord of Oxford’s cavalry. It's true I was a private, but I had enough money to buy a quartermaster position when I decided to get married, and my wife wasn't fond of me being a soldier; she preferred a more private life. So, I ended up in this job.”

“Upon my word, sir,” answered Booth, “you consulted your wife’s inclinations very notably; but pray will you satisfy my curiosity in telling me how you became acquainted that I was in the army? for my dress I think could not betray me.”

“Honestly, sir,” Booth replied, “you clearly took your wife’s feelings into account; but could you satisfy my curiosity by telling me how you found out I was in the army? I don't think my outfit gave it away.”

“Betray!” replied the keeper; “there is no betraying here, I hope—I am not a person to betray people.—But you are so shy and peery, you would almost make one suspect there was more in the matter. And if there be, I promise you, you need not be afraid of telling it me. You will excuse me giving you a hint; but the sooner the better, that’s all. Others may be beforehand with you, and first come first served on these occasions, that’s all. Informers are odious, there’s no doubt of that, and no one would care to be an informer if he could help it, because of the ill-usage they always receive from the mob: yet it is dangerous to trust too much; and when safety and a good part of the reward too are on one side and the gallows on the other—I know which a wise man would chuse.”

“Betray!” replied the keeper; “I hope there's no betrayal happening here—I'm not the type to betray anyone. But you seem so shy and nervous that you'd almost make someone think there's more going on. And if there is, I promise you, you don’t need to be scared to tell me. Please excuse me for giving you a heads-up; but the sooner, the better, that’s all. Others might beat you to it, and first come, first served in situations like these, that’s all. Informers are disgusting, that’s for sure, and no one wants to be an informer if they can avoid it, thanks to the abuse they always get from the crowd: yet it's risky to trust too much; and when safety and a big chunk of the reward are on one side and the gallows on the other—I know which option a wise person would choose.”

“What the devil do you mean by all this?” cries Booth.

“What the heck do you mean by all this?” yells Booth.

“No offence, I hope,” answered the keeper: “I speak for your good; and if you have been upon the snaffling lay—you understand me, I am sure.”

“Hope it’s not taken the wrong way,” replied the keeper. “I’m looking out for you; and if you’ve been up to no good—you know what I mean, I’m sure.”

“Not I,” answered Booth, “upon my honour.”

"Not me," Booth replied, "I swear."

“Nay, nay,” replied the keeper, with a contemptuous sneer, “if you are so peery as that comes to, you must take the consequence.—But for my part, I know I would not trust Robinson with twopence untold.”

“Nah, nah,” the keeper replied with a scornful sneer, “if you’re that paranoid, you’ll just have to deal with the outcome. As for me, I know I wouldn’t trust Robinson with two cents uncounted.”

“What do you mean?” cries Booth; “who is Robinson?”

“What do you mean?” Booth exclaims. “Who is Robinson?”

“And you don’t know Robinson?” answered the keeper with great emotion. To which Booth replying in the negative, the keeper, after some tokens of amazement, cried out, “Well, captain, I must say you are the best at it of all the gentlemen I ever saw. However, I will tell you this: the lawyer and Mr. Robinson have been laying their heads together about you above half an hour this afternoon. I overheard them mention Captain Booth several times, and, for my part, I would not answer that Mr. Murphy is not now gone about the business; but if you will impeach any to me of the road, or anything else, I will step away to his worship Thrasher this instant, and I am sure I have interest enough with him to get you admitted an evidence.”

“And you don’t know Robinson?” the keeper responded with a lot of emotion. When Booth replied that he didn’t, the keeper, after showing his surprise, exclaimed, “Well, captain, I have to say you’re the best at this of all the gentlemen I’ve ever seen. However, I will tell you this: the lawyer and Mr. Robinson have been discussing you for more than half an hour this afternoon. I overheard them mention Captain Booth several times, and honestly, I can’t guarantee that Mr. Murphy hasn’t gone off to handle things. But if you want to tell me anything about the road or anything else, I’ll head over to his worship Thrasher right away, and I’m sure I have enough clout with him to get you in as a witness.”

“And so,” cries Booth, “you really take me for a highwayman?”

"And so," Booth exclaims, "you really think I'm a highway robber?"

“No offence, captain, I hope,” said the keeper; “as times go, there are many worse men in the world than those. Gentlemen may be driven to distress, and when they are, I know no more genteeler way than the road. It hath been many a brave man’s case, to my knowledge, and men of as much honour too as any in the world.”

“No offense, Captain, I hope,” said the keeper. “Given the times, there are many worse men than those. Gentlemen can find themselves in tough situations, and when they do, I know no finer way than the road. It’s been the case for many brave men, as far as I know, and for men of as much honor as anyone in the world.”

“Well, sir,” said Booth, “I assure you I am not that gentleman of honour you imagine me.”

“Well, sir,” Booth said, “I promise you I'm not that honorable gentleman you think I am.”

Miss Matthews, who had long understood the keeper no better than Mr. Booth, no sooner heard his meaning explained than she was fired with greater indignation than the gentleman had expressed. “How dare you, sir,” said she to the keeper, “insult a man of fashion, and who hath had the honour to bear his majesty’s commission in the army? as you yourself own you know. If his misfortunes have sent him hither, sure we have no laws that will protect such a fellow as you in insulting him.” “Fellow!” muttered the keeper—“I would not advise you, madam, to use such language to me.”—“Do you dare threaten me?” replied Miss Matthews in a rage. “Venture in the least instance to exceed your authority with regard to me, and I will prosecute you with the utmost vengeance.”

Miss Matthews, who had never understood the keeper any better than Mr. Booth did, was filled with even more anger than he had shown as soon as she heard his intentions explained. “How dare you, sir,” she said to the keeper, “insult a man of style, who has had the honor of serving his majesty in the army? As you yourself admit you know this. If his misfortunes have brought him here, surely we have no laws that protect someone like you from insulting him.” “Someone like me!” muttered the keeper—“I wouldn't recommend you use that kind of language with me, madam.” “Do you dare threaten me?” Miss Matthews shot back, furious. “If you even think about overstepping your authority with me, I will see to it that you are punished to the fullest extent.”

A scene of very high altercation now ensued, till Booth interposed and quieted the keeper, who was, perhaps, enough inclined to an accommodation; for, in truth, he waged unequal war. He was besides unwilling to incense Miss Matthews, whom he expected to be bailed out the next day, and who had more money left than he intended she should carry out of the prison with her; and as for any violent or unjustifiable methods, the lady had discovered much too great a spirit to be in danger of them. The governor, therefore, in a very gentle tone, declared that, if he had given any offence to the gentleman, he heartily asked his pardon; that, if he had known him to be really a captain, he should not have entertained any such suspicions; but the captain was a very common title in that place, and belonged to several gentlemen that had never been in the army, or, at most, had rid private like himself. “To be sure, captain,” said he, “as you yourself own, your dress is not very military” (for he had on a plain fustian suit); “and besides, as the lawyer says, noscitur a sosir, is a very good rule. And I don’t believe there is a greater rascal upon earth than that same Robinson that I was talking of. Nay, I assure you, I wish there may be no mischief hatching against you. But if there is I will do all I can with the lawyer to prevent it. To be sure, Mr. Murphy is one of the cleverest men in the world at the law; that even his enemies must own, and as I recommend him to all the business I can (and it is not a little to be sure that arises in this place), why one good turn deserves another. And I may expect that he will not be concerned in any plot to ruin any friend of mine, at least when I desire him not. I am sure he could not be an honest man if he would.”

A very heated argument broke out, until Booth stepped in and calmed the keeper, who was somewhat inclined to come to an agreement; the fact is, he was fighting a losing battle. He also didn't want to upset Miss Matthews, whom he expected to be bailed out the next day and who had more money left than he intended for her to take out of the prison with her. As for any extreme or unreasonable actions, the lady had shown too much spirit to be at risk of them. So, in a very gentle tone, the governor said that if he had offended the gentleman, he sincerely apologized; that if he had known he was truly a captain, he wouldn't have had any such suspicions. But “captain” was a very common title in that place and was used by several gentlemen who had never been in the army or, at most, had ridden privately like himself. “Of course, captain,” he said, “as you yourself admit, your outfit isn’t very military” (because he was wearing a plain fustian suit); “and besides, as the lawyer says, noscitur a sosir, is a very good rule. And I don’t think there’s a bigger scoundrel on earth than that same Robinson I was talking about. Seriously, I hope there’s no trouble brewing against you. But if there is, I’ll do everything I can with the lawyer to stop it. Mr. Murphy is certainly one of the smartest guys around when it comes to the law; even his enemies have to agree on that, and since I recommend him for all the cases I can (which is quite a lot around here), well, one good turn deserves another. I expect he won't get involved in any schemes to harm my friends, at least not when I ask him not to. I'm sure he wouldn't be an honest man if he did.”

Booth was then satisfied that Mr. Robinson, whom he did not yet know by name, was the gamester who had won his money at play. And now Miss Matthews, who had very impatiently borne this long interruption, prevailed on the keeper to withdraw. As soon as he was gone Mr. Booth began to felicitate her upon the news of the wounded gentleman being in a fair likelihood of recovery. To which, after a short silence, she answered, “There is something, perhaps, which you will not easily guess, that makes your congratulations more agreeable to me than the first account I heard of the villain’s having escaped the fate he deserves; for I do assure you, at first, it did not make me amends for the interruption of my curiosity. Now I hope we shall be disturbed no more till you have finished your whole story.—You left off, I think, somewhere in the struggle about leaving Amelia—the happy Amelia.” “And can you call her happy at such a period?” cries Booth. “Happy, ay, happy, in any situation,” answered Miss Matthews, “with such a husband. I, at least, may well think so, who have experienced the very reverse of her fortune; but I was not born to be happy. I may say with the poet,

Booth was now convinced that Mr. Robinson, who he didn't yet know by name, was the gambler who had taken his money. Meanwhile, Miss Matthews, who had been very impatient with this long interruption, convinced the keeper to leave. As soon as he was gone, Mr. Booth began to congratulate her on the news that the wounded gentleman was likely to recover. After a brief silence, she replied, “There’s something, perhaps, that you won't easily guess, which makes your congratulations more welcome to me than the first news I heard about the scoundrel escaping the punishment he deserves; I assure you, at first, it didn’t make up for the interruption of my curiosity. Now I hope we won’t be disturbed again until you’ve finished your whole story.—You stopped, I think, somewhere in the struggle about leaving Amelia—the happy Amelia.” “And can you call her happy at such a time?” Booth exclaimed. “Happy, yes, happy, in any situation,” Miss Matthews replied, “with such a husband. I, at least, can certainly think so, having experienced the opposite of her fortune; but I wasn’t born to be happy. I can say with the poet,

    “The blackest ink of fate was sure my lot,
     And when fate writ my name, it made a blot.”
 
“The darkest ink of fate was definitely my destiny, and when fate wrote my name, it made a smear.”

“Nay, nay, dear Miss Matthews,” answered Booth, “you must and shall banish such gloomy thoughts. Fate hath, I hope, many happy days in store for you.”—“Do you believe it, Mr. Booth?” replied she; “indeed you know the contrary—you must know—for you can’t have forgot. No Amelia in the world can have quite obliterated—forgetfulness is not in our own power. If it was, indeed, I have reason to think—but I know not what I am saying.—Pray do proceed in that story.”

“Nah, nah, dear Miss Matthews,” Booth replied, “you must and will get rid of those gloomy thoughts. I hope fate has many happy days ahead for you.” —“Do you really believe that, Mr. Booth?” she said. “You know that’s not true—you have to know—because you can’t have forgotten. No Amelia in the world could completely erase that—forgetting isn’t something we control. If it were, well, I have reason to think—but I don’t even know what I’m saying. —Please go on with that story.”

Booth so immediately complied with this request that it is possible he was pleased with it. To say the truth, if all which unwittingly dropt from Miss Matthews was put together, some conclusions might, it seems, be drawn from the whole, which could not convey a very agreeable idea to a constant husband. Booth, therefore, proceeded to relate what is written in the third book of this history.

Booth quickly agreed to this request, suggesting he might have been pleased with it. Honestly, if everything Miss Matthews accidentally let slip was gathered together, it seems some conclusions could be drawn from it that wouldn't give a very nice impression to a faithful husband. So, Booth went on to recount what is written in the third book of this story.










BOOK III.










Chapter i. — In which Mr. Booth resumes his story.

“If I am not mistaken, madam,” continued Booth, “I was just going to acquaint you with the doctor’s opinion when we were interrupted by the keeper.

“If I’m not mistaken, ma'am,” Booth continued, “I was just about to share the doctor’s opinion with you when we were interrupted by the keeper."

“The doctor, having heard counsel on both sides, that is to say, Mrs. Harris for my staying, and Miss Betty for my going, at last delivered his own sentiments. As for Amelia, she sat silent, drowned in her tears; nor was I myself in a much better situation.

“The doctor, after listening to arguments from both sides—Mrs. Harris advocating for me to stay and Miss Betty urging me to go—finally shared his own thoughts. Amelia sat quietly, overcome with tears, and I wasn't feeling much better myself.”

“‘As the commissions are not signed,’ said the doctor, ‘I think you may be said to remain in your former regiment; and therefore I think you ought to go on this expedition; your duty to your king and country, whose bread you have eaten, requires it; and this is a duty of too high a nature to admit the least deficiency. Regard to your character, likewise, requires you to go; for the world, which might justly blame your staying at home if the case was even fairly stated, will not deal so honestly by you: you must expect to have every circumstance against you heightened, and most of what makes for your defence omitted; and thus you will be stigmatized as a coward without any palliation. As the malicious disposition of mankind is too well known, and the cruel pleasure which they take in destroying the reputations of others, the use we are to make of this knowledge is to afford no handle to reproach; for, bad as the world is, it seldom falls on any man who hath not given some slight cause for censure, though this, perhaps, is often aggravated ten thousand-fold; and, when we blame the malice of the aggravation we ought not to forget our own imprudence in giving the occasion. Remember, my boy, your honour is at stake; and you know how nice the honour of a soldier is in these cases. This is a treasure which he must be your enemy, indeed, who would attempt to rob you of. Therefore, you ought to consider every one as your enemy who, by desiring you to stay, would rob you of your honour.’

“‘Since the commissions aren’t signed,’ the doctor said, ‘I believe you can be considered to still be part of your former regiment; therefore, I think you should go on this expedition. Your duty to your king and country, who has provided for you, demands it; and this is a responsibility of such importance that even the slightest negligence isn’t acceptable. Your reputation also requires that you go; because the world, which would rightly criticize you for staying home under fair circumstances, won’t be so just: you should expect that any negative aspects against you will be exaggerated, while much of what could defend you will be ignored; and as a result, you’ll be labeled as a coward with no justification. Given how well-known the malicious nature of people is, and the cruel enjoyment they find in damaging the reputations of others, we should use this knowledge to avoid giving any reason for reproach; for, as bad as the world may be, it rarely punishes anyone who hasn’t given at least some minor cause for criticism, although this is often blown out of proportion. When we blame the malice of that exaggeration, we should also remember our own carelessness in giving rise to it. Keep in mind, my boy, your honor is at stake; and you know how precious a soldier's honor is in situations like these. This is a treasure that only a true enemy would attempt to steal from you. Therefore, you should consider anyone who asks you to stay as an enemy, as they would rob you of your honor.’”

“‘Do you hear that, sister?’ cries Miss Betty.—‘Yes, I do hear it’ answered Amelia, with more spirit than I ever saw her exert before, and would preserve his honour at the expense of my life. ‘I will preserve it if it should be at that expense; and since it is Dr Harrison’s opinion that he ought to go, I give my consent. Go, my dear husband,’ cried she, falling upon her knees: ‘may every angel of heaven guard and preserve you!’—I cannot repeat her words without being affected,” said he, wiping his eyes, “the excellence of that woman no words can paint: Miss Matthews, she hath every perfection in human nature.

“‘Do you hear that, sister?’ Miss Betty shouted. —‘Yes, I hear it,’ Amelia replied, showing more spirit than I had ever seen from her before, and was ready to protect his honor even at the cost of my life. ‘I will protect it if it comes to that; and since Dr. Harrison thinks he should go, I agree. Go, my dear husband,’ she said, dropping to her knees: ‘may every angel in heaven watch over and keep you safe!’—I can’t repeat her words without getting emotional,” he said, wiping his eyes, “no words can capture the greatness of that woman: Miss Matthews, she has every quality of human nature.”

“I will not tire you with the repetition of any more that past on that occasion, nor with the quarrel that ensued between Mrs. Harris and the doctor; for the old lady could not submit to my leaving her daughter in her present condition. She fell severely on the army, and cursed the day in which her daughter was married to a soldier, not sparing the doctor for having had some share in the match. I will omit, likewise, the tender scene which past between Amelia and myself previous to my departure.” “Indeed, I beg you would not,” cries Miss Matthews; “nothing delights me more than scenes of tenderness. I should be glad to know, if possible, every syllable which was uttered on both sides.”

"I won’t bore you by repeating more about what happened that day, or the argument that followed between Mrs. Harris and the doctor. The old lady couldn’t accept that I was leaving her daughter in such a state. She lashed out at the army and cursed the day her daughter married a soldier, blaming the doctor for playing a part in the match. I’ll also skip over the emotional moment between Amelia and me before my departure." "Honestly, I must insist that you don’t!" cried Miss Matthews. "There’s nothing I enjoy more than tender moments. I’d love to know every word that was said on both sides, if possible."

“I will indulge you then,” cries Booth, “as far as is in my power. Indeed, I believe I am able to recollect much the greatest part; for the impression is never to be effaced from my memory.”

“I’ll indulge you then,” Booth exclaims, “as much as I can. In fact, I think I can remember almost everything; the impression will never fade from my memory.”

He then proceeded as Miss Matthews desired; but, lest all our readers should not be of her opinion, we will, according to our usual custom, endeavour to accommodate ourselves to every taste, and shall, therefore, place this scene in a chapter by itself, which we desire all our readers who do not love, or who, perhaps, do not know the pleasure of tenderness, to pass over; since they may do this without any prejudice to the thread of the narrative.

He then went ahead as Miss Matthews wanted; however, since not all our readers may share her view, we will, as we usually do, try to please everyone. Therefore, we will put this scene in a chapter of its own, which we ask all our readers who don't enjoy, or perhaps don't understand the joy of tenderness, to skip. They can do this without affecting the overall story.










Chapter ii. — Containing a scene of the tender kind.

“The doctor, madam,” continued Booth, “spent his evening at Mrs. Harris’s house, where I sat with him whilst he smoaked his pillow pipe, as his phrase is. Amelia was retired about half an hour to her chamber before I went to her. At my entrance I found her on her knees, a posture in which I never disturbed her. In a few minutes she arose, came to me, and embracing me, said she had been praying for resolution to support the cruellest moment she had ever undergone or could possibly undergo. I reminded her how much more bitter a farewel would be on a death-bed, when we never could meet, in this world at least, again. I then endeavoured to lessen all those objects which alarmed her most, and particularly the danger I was to encounter, upon which head I seemed a little to comfort her; but the probable length of my absence and the certain length of my voyage were circumstances which no oratory of mine could even palliate. ‘O heavens!’ said she, bursting into tears, ‘can I bear to think that hundreds, thousands for aught I know, of miles or leagues, that lands and seas are between us? What is the prospect from that mount in our garden where I have sat so many happy hours with my Billy? what is the distance between that and the farthest hill which we see from thence compared to the distance which will be between us? You cannot wonder at this idea; you must remember, my Billy, at this place, this very thought came formerly into my foreboding mind. I then begged you to leave the army. Why would you not comply?—did I not tell you then that the smallest cottage we could survey from the mount would be, with you, a paradise to me? it would be so still—why can’t my Billy think so? am I so much his superior in love? where is the dishonour, Billy? or, if there be any, will it reach our ears in our little hut? are glory and fame, and not his Amelia, the happiness of my husband? go then, purchase them at my expence. You will pay a few sighs, perhaps a few tears, at parting, and then new scenes will drive away the thoughts of poor Amelia from your bosom; but what assistance shall I have in my affliction? not that any change of scene could drive you one moment from my remembrance; yet here every object I behold will place your loved idea in the liveliest manner before my eyes. This is the bed in which you have reposed; that is the chair on which you sat. Upon these boards you have stood. These books you have read to me. Can I walk among our beds of flowers without viewing your favourites, nay, those which you have planted with your own hands? can I see one beauty from our beloved mount which you have not pointed out to me?’—Thus she went on, the woman, madam, you see, still prevailing.”—“Since you mention it,” says Miss Matthews, with a smile, “I own the same observation occurred to me. It is too natural to us to consider ourselves only, Mr. Booth.”—“You shall hear,” he cried. “At last the thoughts of her present condition suggested themselves.—’ But if,’ said she, ‘my situation, even in health, will be so intolerable, how shall I, in the danger and agonies of childbirth, support your absence?’—Here she stopt, and, looking on me with all the tenderness imaginable, cried out, ‘And am I then such a wretch to wish for your presence at such a season? ought I not to rejoice that you are out of the hearing of my cries or the knowledge of my pains? if I die, will you not have escaped the horrors of a parting ten thousand times more dreadful than this? Go, go, my Billy; the very circumstance which made me most dread your departure hath perfectly reconciled me to it. I perceive clearly now that I was only wishing to support my own weakness with your strength, and to relieve my own pains at the price of yours. Believe me, my love, I am ashamed of myself.’—I caught her in my arms with raptures not to be exprest in words, called her my heroine; sure none ever better deserved that name; after which we remained for some time speechless, and locked in each other’s embraces.”—

“The doctor, ma’am,” Booth continued, “spent his evening at Mrs. Harris’s house, where I sat with him while he smoked his pillow pipe, as he puts it. Amelia had gone to her room about half an hour before I went to her. When I entered, I found her on her knees, a position I never interrupted. After a few minutes, she got up, came to me, and hugged me, saying she had been praying for the strength to endure the hardest moment she had ever faced, or ever could face. I reminded her how much more painful a farewell would be on a deathbed, knowing we could never meet again, at least not in this world. I then tried to ease her worries about the things that scared her the most, especially the danger I would face, on which I seemed to comfort her a bit; but the likely length of my absence and the certainty of my journey were things my words couldn’t soften. ‘Oh heavens!’ she exclaimed, bursting into tears, ‘can I stand the thought that hundreds, thousands, for all I know, of miles or leagues, lands and seas are between us? What does the view from that hill in our garden, where I’ve spent so many happy hours with my Billy, compare to the distance that will separate us? You can’t be surprised by this thought; you have to remember, my Billy, at that spot, this very worry came to my mind before. I begged you to leave the army. Why wouldn’t you agree? Didn’t I tell you then that the smallest cottage we could see from the hill would be a paradise to me with you there? It would still be that way—why can’t my Billy think so? Am I so much more devoted than he is? Where’s the dishonor, Billy? Or if there is any, will we hear of it in our little hut? Are glory and fame, and not his Amelia, the happiness of my husband? Go then, pursue them at my expense. You may pay a few sighs, perhaps a few tears at our parting, and then new experiences will push thoughts of poor Amelia from your mind; but what comfort will I have in my suffering? Not that any change of scenery could ever erase you from my memory; yet here every object I see will remind me of you in the most vivid way. This is the bed where you’ve rested; that’s the chair you sat in. You have stood on these floors. These books are what you’ve read to me. Can I walk among our flowerbeds without seeing your favorites, even those you planted yourself? Can I see any beauty from our beloved hill that you haven’t pointed out to me?’—So she continued, as you can see, the woman still prevailing.” — “Since you mention it,” said Miss Matthews with a smile, “I realize the same thing crossed my mind. It’s only natural for us to think of ourselves, Mr. Booth.” — “You’ll hear,” he exclaimed. “Finally, she began to think about her current condition. — ‘But if,’ she said, ‘my situation, even in good health, is so unbearable, how will I manage your absence during the danger and pain of childbirth?’—Here she paused, and looking at me with all imaginable tenderness, cried out, ‘And am I really such a wretch to wish for your presence at a time like this? Shouldn’t I be grateful you’re not there to hear my cries or witness my suffering? If I die, won’t you have escaped a parting ten thousand times worse than this? Go, go, my Billy; the very thing that made me dread your departure has completely reconciled me to it. I see now that I was just wanting to lean on your strength to ease my own weakness, to soothe my own pain at the cost of yours. Believe me, my love, I’m ashamed of myself.’—I pulled her into my arms with a joy that can’t be expressed in words, called her my heroine; surely none have ever deserved that title more; after which we stayed silent for a while, locked in each other’s embrace.” —

“I am convinced,” said Miss Matthews, with a sigh, “there are moments in life worth purchasing with worlds.”

“I’m convinced,” said Miss Matthews, with a sigh, “there are moments in life that are worth more than anything.”

“At length the fatal morning came. I endeavoured to hide every pang of my heart, and to wear the utmost gaiety in my countenance. Amelia acted the same part. In these assumed characters we met the family at breakfast; at their breakfast, I mean, for we were both full already. The doctor had spent above an hour that morning in discourse with Mrs. Harris, and had, in some measure, reconciled her to my departure. He now made use of every art to relieve the poor distressed Amelia; not by inveighing against the folly of grief, or by seriously advising her not to grieve; both of which were sufficiently performed by Miss Betty. The doctor, on the contrary, had recourse to every means which might cast a veil over the idea of grief, and raise comfortable images in my angel’s mind. He endeavoured to lessen the supposed length of my absence by discoursing on matters which were more distant in time. He said he intended next year to rebuild a part of his parsonage-house. ‘And you, captain,’ says he, ‘shall lay the corner-stone, I promise you:’ with many other instances of the like nature, which produced, I believe, some good effect on us both.

“At last, the fateful morning arrived. I tried to hide every ache in my heart and put on the brightest smile. Amelia did the same. In our feigned roles, we joined the family at breakfast; I mean their breakfast, since we were both already full. The doctor had spent over an hour that morning talking with Mrs. Harris, and had somewhat prepared her for my departure. He made every effort to comfort the poor, troubled Amelia, not by criticizing the foolishness of grief or by seriously advising her against it—both of which Miss Betty did quite enough. Instead, the doctor used every means to distract from the sadness and fill my angel’s mind with comforting thoughts. He tried to diminish the sense of my absence by discussing things further off in time. He mentioned that he planned to rebuild part of his parsonage next year. ‘And you, captain,’ he said, ‘will lay the corner-stone, I promise you,’ along with many other similar things that I believe had a positive effect on both of us.

“Amelia spoke but little; indeed, more tears than words dropt from her; however, she seemed resolved to bear her affliction with resignation. But when the dreadful news arrived that the horses were ready, and I, having taken my leave of all the rest, at last approached her, she was unable to support the conflict with nature any longer, and, clinging round my neck, she cried, ‘Farewel, farewel for ever; for I shall never, never see you more.’ At which words the blood entirely forsook her lovely cheeks, and she became a lifeless corpse in my arms.

“Amelia said very little; in fact, more tears than words fell from her. Still, she seemed determined to endure her sadness with grace. But when the terrible news came that the horses were ready, and after saying goodbye to everyone else, I finally approached her. She couldn’t handle the pain any longer and, clinging to my neck, cried, ‘Goodbye, goodbye forever; I will never, ever see you again.’ At those words, all the color drained from her beautiful cheeks, and she became a lifeless body in my arms.”

“Amelia continued so long motionless, that the doctor, as well as Mrs. Harris, began to be under the most terrible apprehensions; so they informed me afterwards, for at that time I was incapable of making any observation. I had indeed very little more use of my senses than the dear creature whom I supported. At length, however, we were all delivered from our fears; and life again visited the loveliest mansion that human nature ever afforded it.

“Amelia stayed so still for so long that both the doctor and Mrs. Harris started to feel extremely worried; they told me about it later because I was unable to notice anything at the time. I had very little more awareness than the dear person I was supporting. Eventually, though, we were all freed from our fears, and life returned to the most beautiful home that human nature ever created.

“I had been, and yet was, so terrified with what had happened, and Amelia continued yet so weak and ill, that I determined, whatever might be the consequence, not to leave her that day; which resolution she was no sooner acquainted with than she fell on her knees, crying, ‘Good Heaven! I thank thee for this reprieve at least. Oh! that every hour of my future life could be crammed into this dear day!’

“I had been, and still was, so terrified by what had happened, and Amelia remained so weak and ill, that I decided, no matter what the consequences, not to leave her that day; as soon as she found out about my decision, she dropped to her knees, crying, ‘Good Heaven! Thank you for this reprieve at least. Oh! if only every hour of my future life could be crammed into this precious day!’”

“Our good friend the doctor remained with us. He said he had intended to visit a family in some affliction; ‘but I don’t know,’ says he, ‘why I should ride a dozen miles after affliction, when we have enough here.’” Of all mankind the doctor is the best of comforters. As his excessive good-nature makes him take vast delight in the office, so his great penetration into the human mind, joined to his great experience, renders him the most wonderful proficient in it; and he so well knows when to soothe, when to reason, and when to ridicule, that he never applies any of those arts improperly, which is almost universally the case with the physicians of the mind, and which it requires very great judgment and dexterity to avoid.

“Our good friend the doctor stayed with us. He mentioned he had planned to visit a family in distress; ‘but I don’t know,’ he says, ‘why I should ride twelve miles to find trouble when we have plenty of it right here.’ Of all people, the doctor is the best at comforting others. His excessive good-nature brings him great joy in this role, and his deep understanding of the human mind, along with his extensive experience, makes him incredibly skilled at it; he knows exactly when to soothe, when to reason, and when to tease, ensuring he uses these skills appropriately, which is something most mental health professionals struggle with and requires significant judgment and skill to manage.”

“The doctor principally applied himself to ridiculing the dangers of the siege, in which he succeeded so well, that he sometimes forced a smile even into the face of Amelia. But what most comforted her were the arguments he used to convince her of the probability of my speedy if not immediate return. He said the general opinion was that the place would be taken before our arrival there; in which case we should have nothing more to do than to make the best of our way home again.

“The doctor mainly focused on downplaying the dangers of the siege, so much so that he occasionally managed to bring a smile to Amelia's face. But what reassured her the most were the reasons he gave to show her that I would return soon, if not immediately. He mentioned that most people thought the place would be captured before we got there; in that case, all we would need to do is head back home as quickly as possible.”

“Amelia was so lulled by these arts that she passed the day much better than I expected. Though the doctor could not make pride strong enough to conquer love, yet he exalted the former to make some stand against the latter; insomuch that my poor Amelia, I believe, more than once flattered herself, to speak the language of the world, that her reason had gained an entire victory over her passion; till love brought up a reinforcement, if I may use that term, of tender ideas, and bore down all before him.

“Amelia was so captivated by these distractions that she spent the day much more pleasantly than I expected. Although the doctor couldn't make pride powerful enough to overcome love, he did elevate it to put up some resistance against the latter; so much so that my poor Amelia, I believe, more than once convinced herself, to put it in modern terms, that her logic had completely defeated her feelings; until love brought in a wave of tender thoughts, and swept everything away.”

“In the evening the doctor and I passed another half-hour together, when he proposed to me to endeavour to leave Amelia asleep in the morning, and promised me to be at hand when she awaked, and to support her with all the assistance in his power. He added that nothing was more foolish than for friends to take leave of each other. ‘It is true, indeed,’ says he, ‘in the common acquaintance and friendship of the world, this is a very harmless ceremony; but between two persons who really love each other the church of Rome never invented a penance half so severe as this which we absurdly impose on ourselves.

“In the evening, the doctor and I spent another half-hour together when he suggested that I try to let Amelia sleep in the morning. He promised to be there when she woke up and to support her with all the help he could offer. He added that there was nothing more foolish than for friends to say goodbye to each other. ‘It’s true, really,’ he said, ‘in the casual acquaintances and friendships of the world, this is a very harmless ritual; but between two people who truly love each other, the Roman Church never invented a punishment half as severe as this one that we foolishly impose on ourselves.”

“I greatly approved the doctor’s proposal; thanked him, and promised, if possible, to put it in execution. He then shook me by the hand, and heartily wished me well, saying, in his blunt way, ‘Well, boy, I hope to see thee crowned with laurels at thy return; one comfort I have at least, that stone walls and a sea will prevent thee from running away.’

“I really liked the doctor's suggestion; I thanked him and promised to try to make it happen. He then shook my hand and sincerely wished me luck, saying in his straightforward way, ‘Well, kid, I hope to see you coming back a winner; at least I take comfort in knowing that stone walls and a sea will keep you from running away.’”

“When I had left the doctor I repaired to my Amelia, whom I found in her chamber, employed in a very different manner from what she had been the preceding night; she was busy in packing up some trinkets in a casket, which she desired me to carry with me. This casket was her own work, and she had just fastened it as I came to her.

“When I left the doctor, I went to my Amelia, who I found in her room, doing something very different from what she had been doing the night before; she was busy packing up some trinkets in a box, which she wanted me to take with me. This box was her own creation, and she had just closed it as I arrived.”

“Her eyes very plainly discovered what had passed while she was engaged in her work: however, her countenance was now serene, and she spoke, at least, with some chearfulness. But after some time, ‘You must take care of this casket, Billy,’ said she. ‘You must, indeed, Billy—for—’ here passion almost choaked her, till a flood of tears gave her relief, and then she proceeded—‘For I shall be the happiest woman that ever was born when I see it again.’ I told her, with the blessing of God, that day would soon come. ‘Soon!’ answered she. ‘No, Billy, not soon: a week is an age;—but yet the happy day may come. It shall, it must, it will! Yes, Billy, we shall meet never to part again, even in this world, I hope.’ Pardon my weakness, Miss Matthews, but upon my soul I cannot help it,” cried he, wiping his eyes. “Well, I wonder at your patience, and I will try it no longer. Amelia, tired out with so long a struggle between variety of passions, and having not closed her eyes during three successive nights, towards the morning fell into a profound sleep. In which sleep I left her, and, having drest myself with all the expedition imaginable, singing, whistling, hurrying, attempting by every method to banish thought, I mounted my horse, which I had over-night ordered to be ready, and galloped away from that house where all my treasure was deposited.

“Her eyes clearly revealed what had happened while she was busy with her work; however, her face was now calm, and she spoke, at least, with some cheerfulness. But after a while, she said, ‘You must take care of this casket, Billy.’ ‘You really must, Billy—for—’ here her emotions nearly choked her, until a flood of tears provided relief, and then she continued—‘For I will be the happiest woman ever born when I see it again.’ I told her, with God’s blessing, that day would come soon. ‘Soon!’ she replied. ‘No, Billy, not soon: a week feels like an eternity;—but the happy day might come. It shall, it must, it will! Yes, Billy, we shall meet never to part again, even in this world, I hope.’ Forgive my weakness, Miss Matthews, but I can’t help it,” he exclaimed, wiping his eyes. “Well, I admire your patience, and I won’t test it any longer. Amelia, exhausted from such a long struggle between conflicting emotions and having not slept at all for three nights, eventually fell into a deep sleep as morning approached. I left her in that sleep and, having dressed myself as quickly as possible—singing, whistling, hurrying, trying everything to push thoughts away—I mounted my horse, which I had arranged to be ready the night before, and galloped away from the house where all my treasure was kept.

“Thus, madam, I have, in obedience to your commands, run through a scene which, if it hath been tiresome to you, you must yet acquit me of having obtruded upon you. This I am convinced of, that no one is capable of tasting such a scene who hath not a heart full of tenderness, and perhaps not even then, unless he hath been in the same situation.”

“Therefore, ma'am, as you've asked, I've gone through a scene that, if it was boring for you, you can still hold me blameless for forcing it upon you. I'm convinced that no one can appreciate such a scene unless they have a heart full of compassion, and maybe not even then, unless they've been in a similar situation.”










Chapter iii. — In which Mr. Booth sets forward on his journey.

“Well, madam, we have now taken our leave of Amelia. I rode a full mile before I once suffered myself to look back; but now being come to the top of a little hill, the last spot I knew which could give me a prospect of Mrs. Harris’s house, my resolution failed: I stopped and cast my eyes backward. Shall I tell you what I felt at that instant? I do assure you I am not able. So many tender ideas crowded at once into my mind, that, if I may use the expression, they almost dissolved my heart. And now, madam, the most unfortunate accident came first into my head. This was, that I had in the hurry and confusion left the dear casket behind me. The thought of going back at first suggested itself; but the consequences of that were too apparent. I therefore resolved to send my man, and in the meantime to ride on softly on my road. He immediately executed my orders, and after some time, feeding my eyes with that delicious and yet heartfelt prospect, I at last turned my horse to descend the hill, and proceeded about a hundred yards, when, considering with myself that I should lose no time by a second indulgence, I again turned back, and once more feasted my sight with the same painful pleasure till my man returned, bringing me the casket, and an account that Amelia still continued in the sweet sleep I left her. I now suddenly turned my horse for the last time, and with the utmost resolution pursued my journey.

“Well, ma'am, we've now said our goodbyes to Amelia. I rode a whole mile before I dared to look back; but when I reached the top of a little hill, the last place I could see Mrs. Harris’s house, I lost my resolve: I stopped and gazed back. Should I tell you what I felt in that moment? I truly can’t describe it. So many tender thoughts rushed into my mind that, if I can put it this way, they almost broke my heart. And then, ma'am, the most unfortunate thought hit me. I realized, in my rush and confusion, that I had left the dear casket behind. At first, I considered going back, but the consequences were too obvious. So I decided to send my servant instead, and in the meantime, I rode slowly along my path. He immediately carried out my instructions, and after a while, while enjoying that beautiful yet bittersweet view, I finally turned my horse to go down the hill. I went about a hundred yards, but then, thinking it wouldn’t hurt to indulge myself just a little longer, I turned back again and once more enjoyed that painful pleasure until my servant returned with the casket and told me that Amelia was still peacefully asleep. I then quickly turned my horse for the last time and, with all my determination, continued my journey.”

“I perceived my man at his return—But before I mention anything of him it may be proper, madam, to acquaint you who he was. He was the foster-brother of my Amelia. This young fellow had taken it into his head to go into the army; and he was desirous to serve under my command. The doctor consented to discharge him; his mother at last yielded to his importunities, and I was very easily prevailed on to list one of the handsomest young fellows in England.

“I saw my man when he returned—But before I say anything about him, it’s important to tell you who he was, ma'am. He was Amelia's foster brother. This young guy had decided he wanted to join the army; and he really wanted to serve under my command. The doctor agreed to let him go; his mother eventually gave in to his persistent requests, and I was easily convinced to enlist one of the most handsome young men in England.”

“You will easily believe I had some little partiality to one whose milk Amelia had sucked; but, as he had never seen the regiment, I had no opportunity to shew him any great mark of favour. Indeed he waited on me as my servant; and I treated him with all the tenderness which can be used to one in that station.

“You can easily understand that I had a bit of a soft spot for someone whose milk Amelia had nursed from; however, since he had never been part of the regiment, I never had the chance to show him any significant favor. In fact, he served me as my attendant, and I treated him with all the kindness appropriate for someone in that position.”

“When I was about to change into the horse-guards the poor fellow began to droop, fearing that he should no longer be in the same corps with me, though certainly that would not have been the case. However, he had never mentioned one word of his dissatisfaction. He is indeed a fellow of a noble spirit; but when he heard that I was to remain where I was, and that we were to go to Gibraltar together, he fell into transports of joy little short of madness. In short, the poor fellow had imbibed a very strong affection for me; though this was what I knew nothing of till long after.

“When I was about to switch to the horse guards, the poor guy started to lose hope, worried that he wouldn't be in the same division as me, even though that wouldn't have been true. Still, he never said a word about being unhappy. He really is a guy with a noble spirit; but when he found out that I was staying where I was and that we were heading to Gibraltar together, he was overjoyed, almost to the point of madness. In short, the poor guy had developed a strong affection for me, something I didn’t realize until much later.”

“When he returned to me then, as I was saying, with the casket, I observed his eyes all over blubbered with tears. I rebuked him a little too rashly on this occasion. ‘Heyday!’ says I, ‘what is the meaning of this? I hope I have not a milk-sop with me. If I thought you would shew such a face to the enemy I would leave you behind.’—‘Your honour need not fear that,’ answered he; ‘I shall find nobody there that I shall love well enough to make me cry.’ I was highly pleased with this answer, in which I thought I could discover both sense and spirit. I then asked him what had occasioned those tears since he had left me (for he had no sign of any at that time), and whether he had seen his mother at Mrs. Harris’s? He answered in the negative, and begged that I would ask him no more questions; adding that he was not very apt to cry, and he hoped he should never give me such another opportunity of blaming him. I mention this only as an instance of his affection towards me; for I never could account for those tears any otherwise than by placing them to the account of that distress in which he left me at that time. We travelled full forty miles that day without baiting, when, arriving at the inn where I intended to rest that night, I retired immediately to my chamber, with my dear Amelia’s casket, the opening of which was the nicest repast, and to which every other hunger gave way.

“When he came back to me, as I was saying, with the casket, I noticed his eyes were all red and swollen from crying. I scolded him a bit too harshly at that moment. ‘What’s going on here?’ I said, ‘I hope I didn’t bring a softie with me. If I thought you'd show such a face to the enemy, I’d leave you behind.’—‘You don't need to worry about that,’ he replied; ‘I won’t find anyone there I care about enough to make me cry.’ I was really pleased with this response, which I thought showed both intelligence and spirit. I then asked him what had caused those tears after he left me (since he hadn’t shown any at that time), and whether he had seen his mother at Mrs. Harris’s. He replied no and asked me not to question him further, adding that he wasn’t someone who cried easily and hoped he wouldn’t give me another reason to criticize him. I mention this just to show his affection for me; because I’ve never understood those tears except to think they came from the distress he felt when he left me. We traveled a full forty miles that day without stopping, and when we got to the inn where I planned to rest that night, I went straight to my room with my dear Amelia’s casket, which was the perfect meal, and made everything else seem less important.”

“It is impossible to mention to you all the little matters with which Amelia had furnished this casket. It contained medicines of all kinds, which her mother, who was the Lady Bountiful of that country, had supplied her with. The most valuable of all to me was a lock of her dear hair, which I have from that time to this worn in my bosom. What would I have then given for a little picture of my dear angel, which she had lost from her chamber about a month before! and which we had the highest reason in the world to imagine her sister had taken away; for the suspicion lay only between her and Amelia’s maid, who was of all creatures the honestest, and whom her mistress had often trusted with things of much greater value; for the picture, which was set in gold, and had two or three little diamonds round it, was worth about twelve guineas only; whereas Amelia left jewels in her care of much greater value.”

“It’s impossible to list all the little items that Amelia packed in this casket. It held medicines of all kinds, which her mother, the generous Lady Bountiful of that area, had provided for her. The most precious item for me was a lock of her beautiful hair, which I have worn close to my heart ever since. What I would have given for a small picture of my dear angel, which she had lost from her room about a month earlier! We had every reason to believe her sister had taken it, as the suspicion only fell between her and Amelia’s maid, who was truly the most honest person and whom her mistress had often trusted with items of much greater worth; because the picture, set in gold and adorned with two or three small diamonds, was worth about twelve guineas, while Amelia left far more valuable jewels in her care.”

“Sure,” cries Miss Matthews, “she could not be such a paultry pilferer.”

“Sure,” Miss Matthews exclaims, “she couldn't be such a petty thief.”

“Not on account of the gold or the jewels,” cries Booth. “We imputed it to mere spite, with which, I assure you, she abounds; and she knew that, next to Amelia herself, there was nothing which I valued so much as this little picture; for such a resemblance did it bear of the original, that Hogarth himself did never, I believe, draw a stronger likeness. Spite, therefore, was the only motive to this cruel depredation; and indeed her behaviour on the occasion sufficiently convinced us both of the justice of our suspicion, though we neither of us durst accuse her; and she herself had the assurance to insist very strongly (though she could not prevail) with Amelia to turn away her innocent maid, saying, she would not live in the house with a thief.”

“Not because of the gold or the jewels,” Booth exclaims. “We thought it was just pure spite, which I assure you she has plenty of; and she knew that, next to Amelia herself, there was nothing I valued more than this little picture. It looked so much like the original that I don’t believe Hogarth ever created a stronger likeness. So, spite was the only reason for this cruel act; and honestly, her behavior during the whole thing convinced us both that our suspicion was justified, even though neither of us dared to accuse her. And she even had the nerve to strongly insist (though she couldn’t make it happen) that Amelia fire her innocent maid, claiming she wouldn’t live in a house with a thief.”

Miss Matthews now discharged some curses on Miss Betty, not much worth repeating, and then Mr. Booth proceeded in his relation.

Miss Matthews now hurled some curses at Miss Betty, not really worth repeating, and then Mr. Booth continued with his story.










Chapter iv. — A sea piece.

“The next day we joined the regiment, which was soon after to embark. Nothing but mirth and jollity were in the countenance of every officer and soldier; and as I now met several friends whom I had not seen for above a year before, I passed several happy hours, in which poor Amelia’s image seldom obtruded itself to interrupt my pleasure. To confess the truth, dear Miss Matthews, the tenderest of passions is capable of subsiding; nor is absence from our dearest friends so unsupportable as it may at first appear. Distance of time and place do really cure what they seem to aggravate; and taking leave of our friends resembles taking leave of the world; concerning which it hath been often said that it is not death, but dying, which is terrible.”—Here Miss Matthews burst into a fit of laughter, and cried, “I sincerely ask your pardon; but I cannot help laughing at the gravity of your philosophy.” Booth answered, That the doctrine of the passions had been always his favourite study; that he was convinced every man acted entirely from that passion which was uppermost. “Can I then think,” said he, “without entertaining the utmost contempt for myself, that any pleasure upon earth could drive the thoughts of Amelia one instant from my mind?

"The next day, we joined the regiment, which was soon set to leave. There was nothing but laughter and happiness on the faces of every officer and soldier; and as I ran into several friends I hadn't seen in over a year, I spent several joyful hours, during which poor Amelia’s image rarely interrupted my enjoyment. To be honest, dear Miss Matthews, even the most tender feelings can fade; and being away from our closest friends isn’t as unbearable as it might seem at first. Time and distance really can ease what they seem to intensify; saying goodbye to our friends is a lot like saying goodbye to life itself; it's often said that it’s not death, but the act of dying that’s frightening."—Here, Miss Matthews burst into laughter and said, “I sincerely apologize; but I can’t help but laugh at the seriousness of your philosophy.” Booth replied that the study of emotions had always been his favorite pursuit, and he was convinced that every person acted solely based on the strongest emotion at that moment. “How can I think,” he said, “without feeling complete disdain for myself, that any pleasure on earth could take my mind off Amelia for even a second?"

“At length we embarked aboard a transport, and sailed for Gibraltar; but the wind, which was at first fair, soon chopped about; so that we were obliged, for several days, to beat to windward, as the sea phrase is. During this time the taste which I had of a seafaring life did not appear extremely agreeable. We rolled up and down in a little narrow cabbin, in which were three officers, all of us extremely sea-sick; our sickness being much aggravated by the motion of the ship, by the view of each other, and by the stench of the men. But this was but a little taste indeed of the misery which was to follow; for we were got about six leagues to the westward of Scilly, when a violent storm arose at north-east, which soon raised the waves to the height of mountains. The horror of this is not to be adequately described to those who have never seen the like. The storm began in the evening, and, as the clouds brought on the night apace, it was soon entirely dark; nor had we, during many hours, any other light than what was caused by the jarring elements, which frequently sent forth flashes, or rather streams of fire; and whilst these presented the most dreadful objects to our eyes, the roaring of the winds, the dashing of the waves against the ship and each other, formed a sound altogether as horrible for our ears; while our ship, sometimes lifted up, as it were, to the skies, and sometimes swept away at once as into the lowest abyss, seemed to be the sport of the winds and seas. The captain himself almost gave up all for lost, and exprest his apprehension of being inevitably cast on the rocks of Scilly, and beat to pieces. And now, while some on board were addressing themselves to the Supreme Being, and others applying for comfort to strong liquors, my whole thoughts were entirely engaged by my Amelia. A thousand tender ideas crouded into my mind. I can truly say that I had not a single consideration about myself in which she was not concerned. Dying to me was leaving her; and the fear of never seeing her more was a dagger stuck in my heart. Again, all the terrors with which this storm, if it reached her ears, must fill her gentle mind on my account, and the agonies which she must undergo when she heard of my fate, gave me such intolerable pangs, that I now repented my resolution, and wished, I own I wished, that I had taken her advice, and preferred love and a cottage to all the dazzling charms of honour.

“At last, we boarded a transport and set sail for Gibraltar; however, the wind, which was initially favorable, soon changed direction. We were forced to sail against the wind for several days, as sailors say. During this time, my brief experience of life at sea was far from pleasant. We rolled around in a small, cramped cabin with three officers, all of us severely seasick; our sickness was made worse by the ship’s motion, the sight of each other, and the stench of the crew. But this was just a taste of the misery that awaited us; we had only traveled about six leagues west of Scilly when a fierce storm hit from the northeast, raising waves to towering heights. The horror of this experience is hard to describe for anyone who hasn’t witnessed it. The storm began in the evening, and as the clouds thickened, it quickly became pitch dark; for many hours, we had no light except for the flashes of lightning caused by the tumultuous elements, which often lit up extreme and terrifying scenes. Meanwhile, the howling winds and crashing waves created a sound that was equally horrifying. Our ship would sometimes be lifted as if to the heavens and then suddenly dropped as though plunged into the depths, seeming to be tossed about by the winds and the sea. The captain himself nearly surrendered all hope, expressing his fear of being inevitably dashed against the rocks of Scilly. While some on board turned to prayer and others sought comfort in strong drinks, my thoughts were entirely consumed by Amelia. A thousand tender thoughts flooded my mind. I can honestly say that every thought I had about myself was tied to her. Dying meant leaving her behind, and the fear of never seeing her again was a dagger in my heart. Moreover, the terror that this storm would instill in her gentle heart when she learned of my fate filled me with unbearable anguish. I regretted my decision and wished, I must admit, that I had taken her advice and chosen love and a cottage over all the glittering allure of honor."

“While I was tormenting myself with those meditations, and had concluded myself as certainly lost, the master came into the cabbin, and with a chearful voice assured us that we had escaped the danger, and that we had certainly past to westward of the rock. This was comfortable news to all present; and my captain, who had been some time on his knees, leapt suddenly up, and testified his joy with a great oath.

“While I was stressing myself out with those thoughts, and had convinced myself I was definitely doomed, the captain walked into the cabin and, in a cheerful voice, assured us that we had avoided the danger and had definitely passed to the west of the rock. This was good news for everyone there; and my captain, who had been kneeling for a while, suddenly sprang up and expressed his joy with a loud oath.

“A person unused to the sea would have been astonished at the satisfaction which now discovered itself in the master or in any on board; for the storm still raged with great violence, and the daylight, which now appeared, presented us with sights of horror sufficient to terrify minds which were not absolute slaves to the passion of fear; but so great is the force of habit, that what inspires a landsman with the highest apprehension of danger gives not the least concern to a sailor, to whom rocks and quicksands are almost the only objects of terror.

A person who wasn't used to the sea would have been shocked by the satisfaction that was now evident in the captain and everyone else on board; the storm was still raging violently, and the daylight that had just emerged showed us horrific sights that would be enough to scare anyone who wasn’t completely consumed by fear. However, habit is so powerful that what terrifies a landlubber doesn’t faze a sailor at all, for rocks and quicksands are nearly the only things they truly fear.

“The master, however, was a little mistaken in the present instance; for he had not left the cabbin above an hour before my man came running to me, and acquainted me that the ship was half full of water; that the sailors were going to hoist out the boat and save themselves, and begged me to come that moment along with him, as I tendered my preservation. With this account, which was conveyed to me in a whisper, I acquainted both the captain and ensign; and we all together immediately mounted the deck, where we found the master making use of all his oratory to persuade the sailors that the ship was in no danger; and at the same time employing all his authority to set the pumps a-going, which he assured them would keep the water under, and save his dear Lovely Peggy (for that was the name of the ship), which he swore he loved as dearly as his own soul.

“The captain, however, was a bit mistaken this time; because he had barely left the cabin for an hour when my crew member came running to me, telling me that the ship was half full of water; that the sailors were about to lower the lifeboat and save themselves, and pleaded with me to come with him immediately to ensure my safety. With this information, which was whispered to me, I informed both the captain and the lieutenant; and we all quickly went up to the deck, where we found the captain using all his persuasive powers to convince the sailors that the ship was not in danger; while at the same time using all his authority to get the pumps working, assuring them that it would keep the water at bay and save his beloved Lovely Peggy (that was the name of the ship), which he swore he loved as much as his own soul.”

“Indeed this sufficiently appeared; for the leak was so great, and the water flowed in so plentifully, that his Lovely Peggy was half filled before he could be brought to think of quitting her; but now the boat was brought alongside the ship, and the master himself, notwithstanding all his love for her, quitted his ship, and leapt into the boat. Every man present attempted to follow his example, when I heard the voice of my servant roaring forth my name in a kind of agony. I made directly to the ship-side, but was too late; for the boat, being already overladen, put directly off. And now, madam, I am going to relate to you an instance of heroic affection in a poor fellow towards his master, to which love itself, even among persons of superior education, can produce but few similar instances. My poor man, being unable to get me with him into the boat, leapt suddenly into the sea, and swam back to the ship; and, when I gently rebuked him for his rashness, he answered, he chose rather to die with me than to live to carry the account of my death to my Amelia: at the same time bursting into a flood of tears, he cried, ‘Good Heavens! what will that poor lady feel when she hears of this!’ This tender concern for my dear love endeared the poor fellow more to me than the gallant instance which he had just before given of his affection towards myself.

“Indeed this was quite clear; the leak was so big, and the water was coming in so fast, that his Lovely Peggy was half-filled before he even thought about leaving her. But then the boat was brought alongside the ship, and the captain himself, despite all his love for her, left his ship and jumped into the boat. Every man present tried to follow his lead when I heard my servant calling my name in a sort of panic. I hurried to the side of the ship, but it was too late; the boat was already overloaded and set off. Now, madam, I’m going to tell you about a remarkable act of loyalty from a poor man towards his master, something that love itself, even among better-educated people, often struggles to match. My poor servant, unable to get me into the boat with him, suddenly jumped into the sea and swam back to the ship. When I gently scolded him for his recklessness, he replied that he would rather die with me than live to tell my Amelia about my death. While bursting into tears, he said, ‘Good heavens! What will that poor lady feel when she hears about this!’ This heartfelt concern for my dear love made me care for the poor fellow even more than the brave act he had just shown towards me.”

“And now, madam, my eyes were shocked with a sight, the horror of which can scarce be imagined; for the boat had scarce got four hundred yards from the ship when it was swallowed up by the merciless waves, which now ran so high, that out of the number of persons which were in the boat none recovered the ship, though many of them we saw miserably perish before our eyes, some of them very near us, without any possibility of giving them the least assistance.

“And now, ma'am, my eyes were met with a sight so horrifying that it’s hard to describe; for the boat had barely gotten four hundred yards from the ship when it was engulfed by the unforgiving waves, which were now so high that none of the people in the boat made it back to the ship. We saw many of them tragically perish right before our eyes, some of them very close to us, with no way to help them at all.”

“But, whatever we felt for them, we felt, I believe, more for ourselves, expecting every minute when we should share the same fate. Amongst the rest, one of our officers appeared quite stupified with fear. I never, indeed, saw a more miserable example of the great power of that passion: I must not, however, omit doing him justice, by saying that I afterwards saw the same man behave well in an engagement, in which he was wounded; though there likewise he was said to have betrayed the same passion of fear in his countenance.

“But, whatever we felt for them, I think we felt even more for ourselves, waiting for the moment when we would share the same fate. Among the others, one of our officers looked completely paralyzed with fear. I’ve never seen a more miserable example of how overwhelming that feeling can be. However, I have to give him credit because I later saw the same guy act bravely in a battle, where he was wounded; although there, too, people said that his face showed the same fear.”

“The other of our officers was no less stupified (if I may so express myself) with fool-hardiness, and seemed almost insensible of his danger. To say the truth, I have, from this and some other instances which I have seen, been almost inclined to think that the courage as well as cowardice of fools proceeds from not knowing what is or what is not the proper object of fear; indeed, we may account for the extreme hardiness of some men in the same manner as for the terrors of children at a bugbear. The child knows not but that the bugbear is the proper object of fear, the blockhead knows not that a cannon-ball is so.

“The other officer was just as stunned (if I can put it that way) by his reckless bravery and seemed almost unaware of the danger he was in. To be honest, based on this and a few other examples I've seen, I've started to think that both the courage and cowardice of fools come from not understanding what is or isn't something to be afraid of; in fact, we can explain the extreme boldness of some men the same way we explain a child's fear of a monster. The child doesn’t realize that the monster isn’t real, while the fool doesn’t recognize that a cannonball is something to fear.”

“As to the remaining part of the ship’s crew and the soldiery, most of them were dead drunk, and the rest were endeavouring, as fast as they could, to prepare for death in the same manner.

“As for the rest of the ship’s crew and the soldiers, most of them were really drunk, and the others were trying their hardest to get to the same point.”

“In this dreadful situation we were taught that no human condition should inspire men with absolute despair; for, as the storm had ceased for some time, the swelling of the sea began considerably to abate; and we now perceived the man of war which convoyed us, at no great distance astern. Those aboard her easily perceived our distress, and made towards us. When they came pretty near they hoisted out two boats to our assistance. These no sooner approached the ship than they were instantaneously filled, and I myself got a place in one of them, chiefly by the aid of my honest servant, of whose fidelity to me on all occasions I cannot speak or think too highly. Indeed, I got into the boat so much the more easily, as a great number on board the ship were rendered, by drink, incapable of taking any care for themselves. There was time, however, for the boat to pass and repass; so that, when we came to call over names, three only, of all that remained in the ship after the loss of her own boat, were missing.

“In this terrible situation, we learned that no human condition should lead people to total despair; since the storm had calmed for a while, the swelling of the sea started to lessen significantly. We could now see the warship that was escorting us not far behind. The people on board noticed our distress and came toward us. When they got close enough, they launched two boats to help us. As soon as they reached the ship, the boats were immediately filled, and I managed to get a spot in one of them, mainly thanks to my loyal servant, whose faithfulness to me I can't praise enough. In fact, I got into the boat much more easily, as many on board the ship were too drunk to take care of themselves. There was, however, enough time for the boat to go back and forth, so when we called the names, only three of those who remained on the ship after losing their own boat were missing.”

“The captain, ensign, and myself, were received with many congratulations by our officers on board the man of war.—The sea-officers too, all except the captain, paid us their compliments, though these were of the rougher kind, and not without several jokes on our escape. As for the captain himself, we scarce saw him during many hours; and, when he appeared, he presented a view of majesty beyond any that I had ever seen. The dignity which he preserved did indeed give me rather the idea of a Mogul, or a Turkish emperor, than of any of the monarchs of Christendom. To say the truth, I could resemble his walk on the deck to nothing but the image of Captain Gulliver strutting among the Lilliputians; he seemed to think himself a being of an order superior to all around him, and more especially to us of the land service. Nay, such was the behaviour of all the sea-officers and sailors to us and our soldiers, that, instead of appearing to be subjects of the same prince, engaged in one quarrel, and joined to support one cause, we land-men rather seemed to be captives on board an enemy’s vessel. This is a grievous misfortune, and often proves so fatal to the service, that it is great pity some means could not be found of curing it.”

“The captain, ensign, and I were warmly congratulated by our officers on board the warship. The sea officers, all except the captain, also paid their respects, though their comments were rougher, mixed with several jokes about our escape. As for the captain himself, we barely saw him for many hours; when he did show up, he projected a sense of majesty unlike anything I had ever witnessed. The dignity he maintained reminded me more of a Mogul or a Turkish emperor than any monarch of Christendom. Honestly, I could only compare the way he walked on the deck to Captain Gulliver strutting among the Lilliputians; he seemed to believe he was superior to everyone around him, especially us from the land service. In fact, the way all the sea officers and sailors treated us and our soldiers made it feel like we were captives on an enemy ship rather than subjects of the same prince, fighting for the same cause. This is a serious problem, often detrimental to the service, and it's a great shame that no solution has been found to address it.”

Here Mr. Booth stopt a while to take breath. We will therefore give the same refreshment to the reader.

Here Mr. Booth paused for a moment to catch his breath. We will, therefore, offer the same refreshment to the reader.










Chapter v. — The arrival of Booth at Gibraltar, with what there befel him.

“The adventures,” continued Booth, “which I happened to me from this day till my arrival at Gibraltar are not worth recounting to you. After a voyage the remainder of which was tolerably prosperous, we arrived in that garrison, the natural strength of which is so well known to the whole world.

“The adventures,” Booth continued, “that happened to me from this day until I got to Gibraltar aren't worth sharing with you. After a voyage that was mostly smooth, we arrived at that fortified place, whose natural strength is well known to everyone.”

“About a week after my arrival it was my fortune to be ordered on a sally party, in which my left leg was broke with a musket-ball; and I should most certainly have either perished miserably, or must have owed my preservation to some of the enemy, had not my faithful servant carried me off on his shoulders, and afterwards, with the assistance of one of his comrades, brought me back into the garrison.

“About a week after I arrived, I was lucky enough to be assigned to a sally party, during which a musket ball broke my left leg; I most certainly would have either died in agony or owed my survival to some of the enemy, if my loyal servant hadn’t carried me on his shoulders and, with the help of one of his friends, brought me back to the garrison.”

“The agony of my wound was so great, that it threw me into a fever, from whence my surgeon apprehended much danger. I now began again to feel for my Amelia, and for myself on her account; and the disorder of my mind, occasioned by such melancholy contemplations, very highly aggravated the distemper of my body; insomuch that it would probably have proved fatal, had it not been for the friendship of one Captain James, an officer of our regiment, and an old acquaintance, who is undoubtedly one of the pleasantest companions and one of the best-natured men in the world. This worthy man, who had a head and a heart perfectly adequate to every office of friendship, stayed with me almost day and night during my illness; and by strengthening my hopes, raising my spirits, and cheering my thoughts, preserved me from destruction.

The pain from my injury was so intense that it led to a fever, causing my doctor to worry a lot. I started to think again about Amelia and about myself because of her; the turmoil in my mind, triggered by such sad thoughts, really made my physical condition worse. It likely would have been fatal if it weren't for the friendship of Captain James, an officer in our regiment and an old friend, who is definitely one of the most enjoyable companions and one of the kindest people you'll ever meet. This amazing man, who had both the brains and the heart for true friendship, stayed with me almost all day and night during my illness; by boosting my hopes, lifting my spirits, and brightening my thoughts, he saved me from despair.

“The behaviour of this man alone is a sufficient proof of the truth of my doctrine, that all men act entirely from their passions; for Bob James can never be supposed to act from any motives of virtue or religion, since he constantly laughs at both; and yet his conduct towards me alone demonstrates a degree of goodness which, perhaps, few of the votaries of either virtue or religion can equal.” “You need not take much pains,” answered Miss Matthews, with a smile, “to convince me of your doctrine. I have been always an advocate for the same. I look upon the two words you mention to serve only as cloaks, under which hypocrisy may be the better enabled to cheat the world. I have been of that opinion ever since I read that charming fellow Mandevil.”

“The behavior of this man alone is enough proof of the truth of my belief that all people act solely based on their passions. Bob James can’t possibly be acting from any sense of virtue or religion, since he constantly mocks both. Yet, his treatment of me shows a level of goodness that perhaps few followers of either virtue or religion can match.” “You don't need to try hard,” replied Miss Matthews with a smile, “to convince me of your belief. I've always supported the same idea. I think the two words you mentioned only serve as disguises, allowing hypocrisy to better deceive the world. I’ve felt this way ever since I read that charming guy Mandeville.”

“Pardon me, madam,” answered Booth; “I hope you do not agree with Mandevil neither, who hath represented human nature in a picture of the highest deformity. He hath left out of his system the best passion which the mind can possess, and attempts to derive the effects or energies of that passion from the base impulses of pride or fear. Whereas it is as certain that love exists in the mind of man as that its opposite hatred doth; and the same reasons will equally prove the existence of the one as the existence of the other.”

“Excuse me, ma'am,” Booth replied; “I hope you don’t agree with Mandevil either, who has portrayed human nature in the most distorted way. He has excluded from his system the greatest emotion that the mind can have, and tries to explain the effects or energies of that emotion through the low instincts of pride or fear. However, it's just as certain that love exists in the human mind as that its opposite, hatred, does; and the same arguments can equally prove the existence of one as the existence of the other.”

“I don’t know, indeed,” replied the lady, “I never thought much about the matter. This I know, that when I read Mandevil I thought all he said was true; and I have been often told that he proves religion and virtue to be only mere names. However, if he denies there is any such thing as love, that is most certainly wrong.—I am afraid I can give him the lye myself.”

“I don’t really know,” the lady replied, “I never gave it much thought. What I do know is that when I read Mandevil, I believed everything he said was true; and I’ve often been told that he argues religion and virtue are just empty concepts. However, if he claims that love doesn’t exist, that’s definitely not correct. —I’m afraid I can personally call him out on that.”

“I will join with you, madam, in that,” answered Booth, “at any time.”

“I'll join you in that, ma'am,” Booth replied, “anytime.”

“Will you join with me?” answered she, looking eagerly at him—“O, Mr. Booth! I know not what I was going to say—What—Where did you leave off?—I would not interrupt you—but I am impatient to know something.”

“Will you join me?” she replied, glancing at him eagerly. “Oh, Mr. Booth! I don’t even remember what I was going to say—What—Where did you stop?—I don’t want to interrupt you, but I’m eager to know something.”

“What, madam?” cries Booth; “if I can give you any satisfaction—”

“What, ma'am?” Booth exclaims; “if I can provide you with any satisfaction—”

“No, no,” said she, “I must hear all; I would not for the world break the thread of your story. Besides, I am afraid to ask—Pray, pray, sir, go on.”

“No, no,” she said, “I need to hear everything; I wouldn't want to interrupt your story for anything. Besides, I'm too scared to ask—Please, please, go on.”

“Well, madam,” cries Booth, “I think I was mentioning the extraordinary acts of friendship done me by Captain James; nor can I help taking notice of the almost unparalleled fidelity of poor Atkinson (for that was my man’s name), who was not only constant in the assiduity of his attendance, but during the time of my danger demonstrated a concern for me which I can hardly account for, as my prevailing on his captain to make him a sergeant was the first favour he ever received at my hands, and this did not happen till I was almost perfectly recovered of my broken leg. Poor fellow! I shall never forget the extravagant joy his halbert gave him; I remember it the more because it was one of the happiest days of my own life; for it was upon this day that I received a letter from my dear Amelia, after a long silence, acquainting me that she was out of all danger from her lying-in.

"Well, ma'am," Booth exclaimed, "I was just talking about the incredible acts of kindness shown to me by Captain James. I also have to mention the almost unmatched loyalty of poor Atkinson (that was my man's name), who was not only dedicated in his support but also showed a level of concern for me during my time of danger that I can hardly explain. The fact that I persuaded his captain to make him a sergeant was the first favor I ever did for him, and that only happened when I was almost fully recovered from my broken leg. Poor guy! I’ll never forget how thrilled he was to receive his halberd; it stands out even more to me because it was one of the happiest days of my life. It was on this day that I got a letter from my dear Amelia after a long silence, letting me know that she was no longer in any danger after giving birth."

“I was now once more able to perform my duty; when (so unkind was the fortune of war), the second time I mounted the guard, I received a violent contusion from the bursting of a bomb. I was felled to the ground, where I lay breathless by the blow, till honest Atkinson came to my assistance, and conveyed me to my room, where a surgeon immediately attended me.

“I was finally able to do my duty again; but then (such is the cruelty of war), the second time I was on guard, I was hit hard by the explosion of a bomb. I fell to the ground, breathless from the impact, until good old Atkinson came to help me and brought me to my room, where a surgeon took care of me right away."

“The injury I had now received was much more dangerous in my surgeon’s opinion than the former; it caused me to spit blood, and was attended with a fever, and other bad symptoms; so that very fatal consequences were apprehended.

“The injury I had just received was, in my surgeon’s opinion, much more serious than the previous one; it made me spit up blood, and came with a fever and other troubling symptoms; so very severe consequences were feared.”

“In this situation, the image of my Amelia haunted me day and night; and the apprehensions of never seeing her more were so intolerable, that I had thoughts of resigning my commission, and returning home, weak as I was, that I might have, at least, the satisfaction of dying in the arms of my love. Captain James, however, persisted in dissuading me from any such resolution. He told me my honour was too much concerned, attempted to raise my hopes of recovery to the utmost of his power; but chiefly he prevailed on me by suggesting that, if the worst which I apprehended should happen, it was much better for Amelia that she should be absent than present in so melancholy an hour. ‘I know’ cried he, ‘the extreme joy which must arise in you from meeting again with Amelia, and the comfort of expiring in her arms; but consider what she herself must endure upon the dreadful occasion, and you would not wish to purchase any happiness at the price of so much pain to her.’ This argument at length prevailed on me; and it was after many long debates resolved, that she should not even know my present condition, till my doom either for life or death was absolutely fixed.”

“In this situation, the image of my Amelia haunted me day and night; and the thought of never seeing her again was so unbearable that I considered giving up my commission and going home, weak as I was, just to have the comfort of dying in her arms. However, Captain James kept trying to talk me out of that decision. He told me my honor was too important, and he tried to lift my hopes for recovery as much as he could; but mostly, he convinced me by saying that if the worst happened, it would be better for Amelia to be away rather than present during such a sad time. ‘I know,’ he exclaimed, ‘the immense joy you would feel from reuniting with Amelia and the comfort of dying in her arms; but think about what she would have to go through in that terrible moment, and you wouldn’t want to gain any happiness at the expense of her suffering.’ This argument finally convinced me; and after many long discussions, we decided that she shouldn't even know my current condition until my fate, whether life or death, was completely determined.”

“Oh! Heavens! how great! how generous!” cried Miss Matthews. “Booth, thou art a noble fellow; and I scarce think there is a woman upon earth worthy so exalted a passion.”

“Oh! Wow! how amazing! how generous!” exclaimed Miss Matthews. “Booth, you are a great guy; and I hardly believe there’s a woman in the world worthy of such an intense love.”

Booth made a modest answer to the compliment which Miss Matthews had paid him. This drew more civilities from the lady, and these again more acknowledgments; all which we shall pass by, and proceed with our history.

Booth gave a humble response to the compliment that Miss Matthews had given him. This prompted more polite remarks from her, which led to even more acknowledgments from him; we’ll skip over all that and continue with our story.










Chapter vi. — Containing matters which will please some readers.

“Two months and more had I continued in a state of incertainty, sometimes with more flattering, and sometimes with more alarming symptoms; when one afternoon poor Atkinson came running into my room, all pale and out of breath, and begged me not to be surprized at his news. I asked him eagerly what was the matter, and if it was anything concerning Amelia? I had scarce uttered the dear name when she herself rushed into the room, and ran hastily to me, crying, ‘Yes, it is, it is your Amelia herself.’

“After two months of uncertainty, with moments of hope and moments of fear, one afternoon, poor Atkinson burst into my room, pale and breathless, begging me not to be shocked by his news. I quickly asked what was wrong and if it had anything to do with Amelia. I had barely spoken her name when she herself dashed into the room and hurried to me, crying, ‘Yes, it is, it is your Amelia herself.’”

“There is nothing so difficult to describe, and generally so dull when described, as scenes of excessive tenderness.”

“There’s nothing harder to describe and usually so boring when described as scenes of excessive tenderness.”

“Can you think so?” says Miss Matthews; “surely there is nothing so charming!—Oh! Mr. Booth, our sex is d—ned by the want of tenderness in yours. O, were they all like you—certainly no man was ever your equal.”

“Can you really think that?” says Miss Matthews; “surely there's nothing more charming!—Oh! Mr. Booth, our gender is cursed by the lack of tenderness in yours. If only they were all like you—no man has ever been your equal.”

“Indeed, madam,” cries Booth, “you honour me too much. But—well—when the first transports of our meeting were over, Amelia began gently to chide me for having concealed my illness from her; for, in three letters which I had writ her since the accident had happened, there was not the least mention of it, or any hint given by which she could possibly conclude I was otherwise than in perfect health. And when I had excused myself, by assigning the true reason, she cried—‘O Mr. Booth! and do you know so little of your Amelia as to think I could or would survive you? Would it not be better for one dreadful sight to break my heart all at once than to break it by degrees?—O Billy! can anything pay me for the loss of this embrace?’—-But I ask your pardon—how ridiculous doth my fondness appear in your eyes!”

“Indeed, madam,” Booth exclaimed, “you flatter me too much. But—well—once the initial excitement of our meeting faded, Amelia started to gently scold me for hiding my illness from her; in the three letters I had written her since the accident, I hadn’t mentioned it at all, nor did I give any hint that might lead her to think I was anything other than perfectly healthy. When I explained myself by revealing the truth, she said, ‘Oh Mr. Booth! Do you really know so little about me to think I could survive you? Wouldn't it be better for one terrible moment to break my heart all at once rather than let it shatter slowly?—Oh Billy! Can anything make up for losing this embrace?’—But I apologize—how ridiculous my affection must seem to you!”

“How often,” answered she, “shall I assert the contrary? What would you have me say, Mr. Booth? Shall I tell you I envy Mrs. Booth of all the women in the world? would you believe me if I did? I hope you—what am I saying? Pray make no farther apology, but go on.”

“How often,” she replied, “should I disagree? What do you want me to say, Mr. Booth? Should I tell you that I envy Mrs. Booth more than any other woman? Would you even believe me if I did? I hope you—what am I saying? Please, no more apologies, just continue.”

“After a scene,” continued he, “too tender to be conceived by many, Amelia informed me that she had received a letter from an unknown hand, acquainting her with my misfortune, and advising her, if she ever desired to see me more, to come directly to Gibraltar. She said she should not have delayed a moment after receiving this letter, had not the same ship brought her one from me written with rather more than usual gaiety, and in which there was not the least mention of my indisposition. This, she said, greatly puzzled her and her mother, and the worthy divine endeavoured to persuade her to give credit to my letter, and to impute the other to a species of wit with which the world greatly abounds. This consists entirely in doing various kinds of mischief to our fellow-creatures, by belying one, deceiving another, exposing a third, and drawing in a fourth, to expose himself; in short, by making some the objects of laughter, others of contempt; and indeed not seldom by subjecting them to very great inconveniences, perhaps to ruin, for the sake of a jest.

“After a scene,” he continued, “that was too emotional for many to understand, Amelia told me that she had gotten a letter from someone she didn’t know, informing her about my troubles and advising her that if she ever wanted to see me again, she should come straight to Gibraltar. She said she wouldn’t have hesitated for a second after receiving this letter if the same ship hadn’t brought her one from me that was much more cheerful than usual, and in which I didn’t mention my illness at all. This, she said, left her and her mother very confused, and the kind pastor tried to convince her to trust my letter, considering the other one as a type of joke that’s all too common in the world. This involves causing various kinds of harm to others by spreading lies about one person, deceiving another, exposing a third, and leading a fourth into a situation where they’ll embarrass themselves; in short, it’s about making some people the target of laughter, others the target of scorn; and indeed, it often subjects them to significant trouble, possibly even ruin, just for the sake of a joke.”

“Mrs. Harris and the doctor derived the letter from this species of wit. Miss Betty, however, was of a different opinion, and advised poor Amelia to apply to an officer whom the governor had sent over in the same ship, by whom the report of my illness was so strongly confirmed, that Amelia immediately resolved on her voyage.

“Mrs. Harris and the doctor took the letter as witty. Miss Betty, however, had a different idea and suggested that poor Amelia reach out to an officer who had been sent over by the governor in the same ship. This officer confirmed my illness so strongly that Amelia immediately decided to go on her journey.”

“I had a great curiosity to know the author of this letter, but not the least trace of it could be discovered. The only person with whom I lived in any great intimacy was Captain James, and he, madam, from what I have already told you, you will think to be the last person I could suspect; besides, he declared upon his honour that he knew nothing of the matter, and no man’s honour is, I believe, more sacred. There was indeed an ensign of another regiment who knew my wife, and who had sometimes visited me in my illness; but he was a very unlikely man to interest himself much in any affairs which did not concern him; and he too declared he knew nothing of it.”

“I was really curious to find out who wrote this letter, but I couldn’t find any clues. The only person I was close to was Captain James, and you would think, given what I’ve already told you, that he would be the last person I’d suspect. Plus, he swore on his honor that he didn’t know anything about it, and I believe no one's honor is more sacred than his. There was an ensign from another regiment who knew my wife and had visited me during my illness, but he didn’t seem like the type to get involved in things that didn’t concern him; he also claimed he knew nothing about it.”

“And did you never discover this secret?” cried Miss Matthews.

“And did you never find out this secret?” exclaimed Miss Matthews.

“Never to this day,” answered Booth.

“Not to this day,” replied Booth.

“I fancy,” said she, “I could give a shrewd guess. What so likely as that Mrs. Booth, when you left her, should have given her foster-brother orders to send her word of whatever befel you? Yet stay—that could not be neither; for then she would not have doubted whether she should leave dear England on the receipt of the letter. No, it must have been by some other means;—yet that I own appeared extremely natural to me; for if I had been left by such a husband I think I should have pursued the same method.”

“I think,” she said, “I could make a pretty good guess. What’s more likely than that Mrs. Booth, after you left, told her foster brother to let her know whatever happened to you? But wait—that can’t be right either; because then she wouldn’t have hesitated about leaving dear England as soon as she got the letter. No, it must have been through some other means; yet I admit that seemed perfectly reasonable to me; because if I had been left by a husband like that, I think I would have done the same thing.”

“No, madam,” cried Booth, “it must have been conveyed by some other channel; for my Amelia, I am certain, was entirely ignorant of the manner; and as for poor Atkinson, I am convinced he would not have ventured to take such a step without acquainting me. Besides, the poor fellow had, I believe, such a regard for my wife, out of gratitude for the favours she hath done his mother, that I make no doubt he was highly rejoiced at her absence from my melancholy scene. Well, whoever writ it is a matter very immaterial; yet, as it seemed so odd and unaccountable an incident, I could not help mentioning it.

“No, ma'am,” Booth exclaimed, “it must have come through some other means because I’m sure my Amelia had no idea about it; and as for poor Atkinson, I believe he wouldn’t have dared to take such a step without telling me. Besides, the poor guy had such a fondness for my wife, out of gratitude for the kindness she showed his mother, that I have no doubt he was quite happy she wasn’t around during my sad situation. Well, whoever wrote it doesn’t really matter; still, since it seemed like such a strange and inexplicable incident, I couldn’t help but mention it.”

“From the time of Amelia’s arrival nothing remarkable happened till my perfect recovery, unless I should observe her remarkable behaviour, so full of care and tenderness, that it was perhaps without a parallel.”

“From the moment Amelia arrived, nothing significant happened until I fully recovered, unless I mention her exceptional behavior, which was so caring and tender that it might be unmatched.”

“O no, Mr. Booth,” cries the lady; “it is fully equalled, I am sure, by your gratitude. There is nothing, I believe, so rare as gratitude in your sex, especially in husbands. So kind a remembrance is, indeed, more than a return to such an obligation; for where is the mighty obligation which a woman confers, who being possessed of an inestimable jewel, is so kind to herself as to be careful and tender of it? I do not say this to lessen your opinion of Mrs. Booth. I have no doubt but that she loves you as well as she is capable. But I would not have you think so meanly of our sex as to imagine there are not a thousand women susceptible of true tenderness towards a meritorious man. Believe me, Mr. Booth, if I had received such an account of an accident having happened to such a husband, a mother and a parson would not have held me a moment. I should have leapt into the first fishing-boat I could have found, and bid defiance to the winds and waves.—Oh! there is no true tenderness but in a woman of spirit. I would not be understood all this while to reflect on Mrs. Booth. I am only defending the cause of my sex; for, upon my soul, such compliments to a wife are a satire on all the rest of womankind.”

“Oh no, Mr. Booth,” the lady exclaims; “I’m sure your gratitude matches it. There’s nothing as rare as gratitude in your gender, especially among husbands. That kind of remembrance is definitely more than just a response to such an obligation; after all, what’s the huge obligation that a woman creates, who possesses such a priceless treasure and is so kind to be careful and nurturing of it? I’m not saying this to diminish your view of Mrs. Booth. I have no doubt she loves you as well as she’s capable of. But I wouldn’t want you to think so little of our gender as to believe there aren’t a thousand women who can genuinely care for a worthy man. Believe me, Mr. Booth, if I had heard about an accident involving such a husband, a mother and a clergyman wouldn’t have stopped me for a second. I would have jumped into the first fishing boat I could find and faced the winds and waves head-on.—Oh! There’s no real tenderness except in a spirited woman. I don’t want it to seem like I’m criticizing Mrs. Booth. I’m just defending my gender; because, honestly, those kinds of compliments to a wife are an insult to all other women.”

“Sure you jest, Miss Matthews,” answered Booth with a smile; “however, if you please, I will proceed in my story.”

“Of course you’re joking, Miss Matthews,” Booth replied with a smile; “but if it’s alright with you, I’ll continue with my story.”










Chapter vii. — The captain, continuing his story, recounts some particulars which, we doubt not, to many good people, will appear unnatural.

I was scarce sooner recovered from my indisposition than Amelia herself fell ill. This, I am afraid, was occasioned by the fatigues which I could not prevent her from undergoing on my account; for, as my disease went off with violent sweats, during which the surgeon strictly ordered that I should lie by myself, my Amelia could not be prevailed upon to spend many hours in her own bed. During my restless fits she would sometimes read to me several hours together; indeed it was not without difficulty that she ever quitted my bedside. These fatigues, added to the uneasiness of her mind, overpowered her weak spirits, and threw her into one of the worst disorders that can possibly attend a woman; a disorder very common among the ladies, and our physicians have not agreed upon its name. Some call it fever on the spirits, some a nervous fever, some the vapours, and some the hysterics.

I barely recovered from my illness when Amelia herself got sick. I'm afraid this was due to the exhaustion she couldn’t avoid while taking care of me; since my illness ended with severe sweating, during which the doctor insisted that I stay isolated, Amelia couldn’t be convinced to spend much time in her own bed. During my restless episodes, she would often read to me for hours on end; in fact, it was a struggle to get her to leave my side at all. These strains, combined with her worries, overwhelmed her fragile spirits and led her to suffer from one of the worst conditions that can affect a woman—an ailment that is quite common among women, but our doctors haven't agreed on what to call it. Some refer to it as "fever of the spirits," others as "nervous fever," some call it "the vapors," and others label it "hysterics."

“O say no more,” cries Miss Matthews; “I pity you, I pity you from my soul. A man had better be plagued with all the curses of Egypt than with a vapourish wife.”

“O say no more,” cries Miss Matthews; “I feel for you, I truly feel for you. A man would be better off facing all the troubles of Egypt than dealing with a moody wife.”

“Pity me! madam,” answered Booth; “pity rather that dear creature who, from her love and care of my unworthy self, contracted a distemper, the horrors of which are scarce to be imagined. It is, indeed, a sort of complication of all diseases together, with almost madness added to them. In this situation, the siege being at an end, the governor gave me leave to attend my wife to Montpelier, the air of which was judged to be most likely to restore her to health. Upon this occasion she wrote to her mother to desire a remittance, and set forth the melancholy condition of her health, and her necessity for money, in such terms as would have touched any bosom not void of humanity, though a stranger to the unhappy sufferer. Her sister answered it, and I believe I have a copy of the answer in my pocket. I keep it by me as a curiosity, and you would think it more so could I shew you my Amelia’s letter.” He then searched his pocket-book, and finding the letter among many others, he read it in the following words:

“Have compassion on me! Madam,” replied Booth; “feel more for that dear person who, because of her love and care for my unworthy self, developed an illness that’s hard to even imagine. It’s essentially a mix of all diseases, with a touch of madness thrown in. In this situation, now that the siege is over, the governor allowed me to take my wife to Montpelier, which was thought to have the best air to help her recover. On this occasion, she wrote to her mother asking for some money and described her sad state of health and the need for funds in a way that would touch anyone with a heart, even a stranger to the unfortunate sufferer. Her sister replied, and I think I have a copy of that response in my pocket. I keep it as a curiosity, and you'd find it even more interesting if I could show you my Amelia’s letter.” He then searched through his pocketbook and, finding the letter among many others, read it in these words:

“‘DEAR SISTER,—My mamma being much disordered, hath commanded me to tell you she is both shocked and surprized at your extraordinary request, or, as she chuses to call it, order for money. You know, my dear, she says that your marriage with this red-coat man was entirely against her consent and the opinion of all your family (I am sure I may here include myself in that number); and yet, after this fatal act of disobedience, she was prevailed on to receive you as her child; not, however, nor are you so to understand it, as the favourite which you was before. She forgave you; but this was as a Christian and a parent; still preserving in her own mind a just sense of your disobedience, and a just resentment on that account. And yet, notwithstanding this resentment, she desires you to remember that, when you a second time ventured to oppose her authority, and nothing would serve you but taking a ramble (an indecent one, I can’t help saying) after your fellow, she thought fit to shew the excess of a mother’s tenderness, and furnished you with no less than fifty pounds for your foolish voyage. How can she, then, be otherwise than surprized at your present demand? which, should she be so weak to comply with, she must expect to be every month repeated, in order to supply the extravagance of a young rakish officer. You say she will compassionate your sufferings; yes, surely she doth greatly compassionate them, and so do I too, though you was neither so kind nor so civil as to suppose I should. But I forgive all your slights to me, as well now as formerly. Nay, I not only forgive, but I pray daily for you. But, dear sister, what could you expect less than what hath happened? you should have believed your friends, who were wiser and older than you. I do not here mean myself, though I own I am eleven months and some odd weeks your superior; though, had I been younger, I might, perhaps, have been able to advise you; for wisdom and what some may call beauty do not always go together. You will not be offended at this; for I know in your heart, you have always held your head above some people, whom, perhaps, other people have thought better of; but why do I mention what I scorn so much? No, my dear sister, Heaven forbid it should ever be said of me that I value myself upon my face—not but if I could believe men perhaps—but I hate and despise men—you know I do, my dear, and I wish you had despised them as much; but jacta est jalea, as the doctor says. You are to make the best of your fortune—what fortune, I mean, my mamma may please to give you, for you know all is in her power. Let me advise you, then, to bring your mind to your circumstances, and remember (for I can’t help writing it, as it is for your own good) the vapours are a distemper which very ill become a knapsack. Remember, my dear, what you have done; remember what my mamma hath done; remember we have something of yours to keep, and do not consider yourself as an only child; no, nor as a favourite child; but be pleased to remember, Dear sister, Your most affectionate sister,

“Dear Sister, — My mom is very upset and has asked me to tell you that she is both shocked and surprised by your unusual request, or as she prefers to call it, demand for money. You know, dear, she says that your marriage to that soldier was completely against her wishes and the opinions of your entire family (I’m sure I can include myself in that). Yet, after this serious act of disobedience, she was persuaded to accept you back as her child; however, understand that it’s not the same as when you were her favorite. She forgave you, yes, as a Christian and a parent, but she still holds a proper sense of your disobedience and a reasonable resentment about it. And yet, despite this resentment, she wants you to remember that when you took the bold step of opposing her authority again, insisting on taking a trip (an inappropriate one, I must say) to be with your partner, she chose to show the depth of a mother’s love and gave you a generous fifty pounds for your foolish journey. How can she not be surprised by your current request? If she were weak enough to agree to it, she should expect it to be repeated every month to support the lavish needs of a young officer. You say she will sympathize with your struggles; yes, she does greatly sympathize, and I do too, even though you weren’t kind or polite enough to think I would. But I forgive all your dismissals of me, both now and before. In fact, I not only forgive, but I also pray for you daily. But, dear sister, what could you expect from what has happened? You should have listened to your friends, who are wiser and older than you. I don’t mean myself, even though I am eleven months and a few weeks older than you; however, if I had been younger, I might have been able to advise you, as wisdom and what some call beauty don’t always go together. You won’t be offended by this; I know in your heart you’ve always held yourself above some people whom others might have thought better of. But why do I mention what I so dislike? No, my dear sister, heaven forbid anyone should ever say that I take pride in my looks — not that I could believe men, perhaps — but I truly dislike and disdain men. You know that, dear, and I wish you had despised them as much; but jacta est jalea, as the doctor says. You have to make the best of your situation — whatever situation my mom decides to give you, since everything is in her hands. So, let me advise you to come to terms with your circumstances and remember (and I can’t help mentioning this, as it’s for your own good) that sulking is a state of mind that doesn’t suit someone with a lot of baggage. Remember, my dear, what you have done; remember what my mom has done; remember we have something of yours to keep, and don’t think of yourself as the only child; no, nor as the favorite child; but please remember, dear sister, Your most affectionate sister,”

“‘and most obedient humble servant,

“your most obedient humble servant,

“‘E. HARRIS.’”

“O brave Miss Betty!” cried Miss Matthews; “I always held her in high esteem; but I protest she exceeds even what I could have expected from her.”

“O brave Miss Betty!” exclaimed Miss Matthews; “I always thought highly of her; but I must say she has surpassed even what I could have anticipated from her.”

“This letter, madam,” cries Booth, “you will believe, was an excellent cordial for my poor wife’s spirits. So dreadful indeed was the effect it had upon her, that, as she had read it in my absence, I found her, at my return home, in the most violent fits; and so long was it before she recovered her senses, that I despaired of that blest event ever happening; and my own senses very narrowly escaped from being sacrificed to my despair. However, she came at last to herself, and I began to consider of every means of carrying her immediately to Montpelier, which was now become much more necessary than before.

“This letter, ma'am,” Booth exclaimed, “you'll understand, was a great boost for my poor wife's spirits. The effect it had on her was so shocking that, since she read it while I was away, I found her at home in such extreme distress that it took her a long time to regain her senses. I almost lost hope of that wonderful moment ever happening, and I barely managed to keep my own sanity in the face of my despair. However, she eventually came back to herself, and I started thinking of every possible way to take her to Montpelier right away, which had become even more urgent than before."

“Though I was greatly shocked at the barbarity of the letter, yet I apprehended no very ill consequence from it; for, as it was believed all over the army that I had married a great fortune, I had received offers of money, if I wanted it, from more than one. Indeed, I might have easily carried my wife to Montpelier at any time; but she was extremely averse to the voyage, being desirous of our returning to England, as I had leave to do; and she grew daily so much better, that, had it not been for the receipt of that cursed—which I have just read to you, I am persuaded she might have been able to return to England in the next ship.

“Even though I was really taken aback by the cruelty of the letter, I didn't think it would lead to any serious problems; since everyone in the army believed I had married into a large fortune, I had received offers of money, if I needed it, from more than one person. In fact, I could have easily taken my wife to Montpelier at any time, but she was very reluctant about the journey, wanting instead to go back to England, which I had permission to do; and she was getting better every day, so if it hadn’t been for receiving that awful letter—which I just read to you—I’m sure she could have managed to return to England on the next ship.”

“Among others there was a colonel in the garrison who had not only offered but importuned me to receive money of him; I now, therefore, repaired to him; and, as a reason for altering my resolution, I produced the letter, and, at the same time, acquainted him with the true state of my affairs. The colonel read the letter, shook his head, and, after some silence, said he was sorry I had refused to accept his offer before; but that he had now so ordered matters, and disposed of his money, that he had not a shilling left to spare from his own occasions.

“Among others, there was a colonel in the garrison who had not only offered but insisted that I take money from him. I decided to visit him; and, to explain why I changed my mind, I showed him the letter and told him about my real situation. The colonel read the letter, shook his head, and after a moment of silence, said he was sorry I had turned down his offer before. However, he explained that he had now organized his finances in such a way that he didn’t have a single penny left to spare for his own needs.”

“Answers of the same kind I had from several others, but not one penny could I borrow of any; for I have been since firmly persuaded that the honest colonel was not content with denying me himself, but took effectual means, by spreading the secret I had so foolishly trusted him with, to prevent me from succeeding elsewhere; for such is the nature of men, that whoever denies himself to do you a favour is unwilling that it should be done to you by any other.

“Several others gave me similar answers, but I couldn’t borrow a single penny from any of them; I became convinced that the honest colonel was not only denying me himself but also actively spreading the secret I had so foolishly trusted him with to stop me from getting help elsewhere. That's just how people are: anyone who refuses to help you doesn't want anyone else to help you either.”

“This was the first time I had ever felt that distress which arises from the want of money; a distress very dreadful indeed in a married state; for what can be more miserable than to see anything necessary to the preservation of a beloved creature, and not be able to supply it?

“This was the first time I had ever felt that overwhelming anxiety caused by a lack of money; an anxiety that is truly dreadful when you're married; because what could be more miserable than seeing something essential for the well-being of someone you love and being unable to provide it?”

“Perhaps you may wonder, madam, that I have not mentioned Captain James on this occasion; but he was at that time laid up at Algiers (whither he had been sent by the governor) in a fever. However, he returned time enough to supply me, which he did with the utmost readiness on the very first mention of my distress; and the good colonel, notwithstanding his having disposed of his money, discounted the captain’s draft. You see, madam, an instance in the generous behaviour of my friend James, how false are all universal satires against humankind. He is indeed one of the worthiest men the world ever produced.

“Perhaps you’re wondering, ma'am, why I haven't mentioned Captain James this time; it's because he was sick with a fever in Algiers, where the governor sent him. However, he came back just in time to help me, and he did so without hesitation as soon as I mentioned my troubles. The kind colonel, even though he had already spent his money, decided to cash the captain's draft. You see, ma'am, this is a perfect example of my friend James's generosity, proving how unfair it is to make sweeping criticisms of humanity. He truly is one of the finest men the world has ever seen.”

“But, perhaps, you will be more pleased still with the extravagant generosity of my sergeant. The day before the return of Mr. James, the poor fellow came to me with tears in his eyes, and begged I would not be offended at what he was going to mention. He then pulled a purse from his pocket, which contained, he said, the sum of twelve pounds, and which he begged me to accept, crying, he was sorry it was not in his power to lend me whatever I wanted. I was so struck with this instance of generosity and friendship in such a person, that I gave him an opportunity of pressing me a second time before I made him an answer. Indeed, I was greatly surprised how he came to be worth that little sum, and no less at his being acquainted with my own wants. In both which points he presently satisfied me. As to the first, it seems he had plundered a Spanish officer of fifteen pistoles; and as to the second, he confessed he had it from my wife’s maid, who had overheard some discourse between her mistress and me. Indeed people, I believe, always deceive themselves, who imagine they can conceal distrest circumstances from their servants; for these are always extremely quicksighted on such occasions.”

“But, maybe you'll be even more impressed by the generous nature of my sergeant. The day before Mr. James returned, the poor guy came to me with tears in his eyes, begging me not to be upset by what he was about to say. He then pulled out a purse from his pocket, which he said contained twelve pounds, and he pleaded with me to accept it, saying he was sorry he couldn't lend me more. I was so moved by this act of generosity and friendship from someone like him that I gave him a chance to offer it to me again before I responded. Honestly, I was really surprised by how he managed to have that amount of money, and equally surprised that he knew about my situation. He quickly cleared both of those things up. As for the first, he confessed he had taken it from a Spanish officer who had fifteen pistoles; and for the second, he admitted that he learned about my needs from my wife's maid, who had overheard some conversations between us. I believe people often fool themselves into thinking they can hide their struggles from their servants, because they are always incredibly perceptive in those situations.”

“Good heavens!” cries Miss Matthews, “how astonishing is such behaviour in so low a fellow!”

“Good heavens!” exclaims Miss Matthews, “how shocking is such behavior from such a low person!”

“I thought so myself,” answered Booth; “and yet I know not, on a more strict examination into the matter, why we should be more surprised to see greatness of mind discover itself in one degree or rank of life than in another. Love, benevolence, or what you will please to call it, may be the reigning passion in a beggar as well as in a prince; and wherever it is, its energies will be the same.

“I thought so too,” Booth replied, “and yet, when I really examine the situation, I can’t see why we should be more surprised to find greatness of mind in one level of society than in another. Love, kindness, or whatever you want to call it, can be the dominant passion in a beggar just as much as in a prince; and wherever it exists, its power will be the same.”

“To confess the truth, I am afraid we often compliment what we call upper life, with too much injustice, at the expense of the lower. As it is no rare thing to see instances which degrade human nature in persons of the highest birth and education, so I apprehend that examples of whatever is really great and good have been sometimes found amongst those who have wanted all such advantages. In reality, palaces, I make no doubt, do sometimes contain nothing but dreariness and darkness, and the sun of righteousness hath shone forth with all its glory in a cottage.”

“To tell the truth, I think we often praise what we call high society too much, unfairly putting down those in lower positions. It’s not uncommon to see people with the highest status and education acting in ways that degrade human nature, while truly great and good examples can sometimes be found among those who lack those advantages. In reality, I have no doubt that palaces can sometimes be filled with nothing but gloom and despair, while the light of righteousness has shone brightly in a humble cottage.”










Chapter viii. — The story of Booth continued.

“Mr. Booth thus went on:

"Mr. Booth continued:"

“We now took leave of the garrison, and, having landed at Marseilles, arrived at Montpelier, without anything happening to us worth remembrance, except the extreme sea-sickness of poor Amelia; but I was afterwards well repaid for the terrors which it occasioned me by the good consequences which attended it; for I believe it contributed, even more than the air of Montpelier, to the perfect re-establishment of her health.”

“We said goodbye to the garrison and, after landing in Marseille, arrived in Montpellier without anything memorable happening to us, except for poor Amelia's terrible seasickness. However, I was later well rewarded for the fears it caused me by the positive outcomes that followed; I believe it helped even more than the Montpellier air in restoring her health completely.”

“I ask your pardon for interrupting you,” cries Miss Matthews, “but you never satisfied me whether you took the sergeant’s money. You have made me half in love with that charming fellow.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt you,” exclaims Miss Matthews, “but you never clarified whether you accepted the sergeant’s money. You’ve made me half in love with that charming guy.”

“How can you imagine, madam,” answered Booth, “I should have taken from a poor fellow what was of so little consequence to me, and at the same time of so much to him? Perhaps, now, you will derive this from the passion of pride.”

“How can you even think, ma'am,” Booth replied, “that I would take something from a poor guy that means so little to me but so much to him? Maybe, now, you will see this as a matter of pride.”

“Indeed,” says she, “I neither derive it from the passion of pride nor from the passion of folly: but methinks you should have accepted the offer, and I am convinced you hurt him very much when you refused it. But pray proceed in your story.” Then Booth went on as follows:

“Honestly,” she says, “I’m not doing this out of pride or foolishness: but I think you should have accepted the offer, and I believe it hurt him a lot when you turned it down. But please, continue with your story.” Then Booth went on as follows:

“As Amelia recovered her health and spirits daily, we began to pass our time very pleasantly at Montpelier; for the greatest enemy to the French will acknowledge that they are the best people in the world to live amongst for a little while. In some countries it is almost as easy to get a good estate as a good acquaintance. In England, particularly, acquaintance is of almost as slow growth as an oak; so that the age of man scarce suffices to bring it to any perfection, and families seldom contract any great intimacy till the third, or at least the second generation. So shy indeed are we English of letting a stranger into our houses, that one would imagine we regarded all such as thieves. Now the French are the very reverse. Being a stranger among them entitles you to the better place, and to the greater degree of civility; and if you wear but the appearance of a gentleman, they never suspect you are not one. Their friendship indeed seldom extends as far as their purse; nor is such friendship usual in other countries. To say the truth, politeness carries friendship far enough in the ordinary occasions of life, and those who want this accomplishment rarely make amends for it by their sincerity; for bluntness, or rather rudeness, as it commonly deserves to be called, is not always so much a mark of honesty as it is taken to be.

“As Amelia got healthier and more cheerful each day, we started to enjoy our time at Montpelier. Even the biggest critics of the French have to admit that they are the best people to be around for a little while. In some places, it's almost as easy to gain a good fortune as to find a good friend. In England, especially, forming friendships takes as long as an oak tree to grow; the span of a person’s life hardly suffices to cultivate it, and families usually don't become really close until the third or at least the second generation. We English are so hesitant to invite strangers into our homes that you'd think we consider all outsiders to be thieves. The French, on the other hand, are completely different. Being a stranger among them actually earns you a better spot and more respect; and if you just look like a gentleman, they never doubt that you are one. Their friendship usually doesn't extend to their finances, which is not uncommon in other countries. To be honest, politeness is enough to carry friendship through most everyday situations, and those who lack this quality rarely compensate for it with sincerity; bluntness—or rather rudeness, as it's often called—is not always a true sign of honesty as people tend to think.”

“The day after our arrival we became acquainted with Mons. Bagillard. He was a Frenchman of great wit and vivacity, with a greater share of learning than gentlemen are usually possessed of. As he lodged in the same house with us, we were immediately acquainted, and I liked his conversation so well that I never thought I had too much of his company. Indeed, I spent so much of my time with him, that Amelia (I know not whether I ought to mention it) grew uneasy at our familiarity, and complained of my being too little with her, from my violent fondness for my new acquaintance; for, our conversation turning chiefly upon books, and principally Latin ones (for we read several of the classics together), she could have but little entertainment by being with us. When my wife had once taken it into her head that she was deprived of my company by M. Bagillard, it was impossible to change her opinion; and, though I now spent more of my time with her than I had ever done before, she still grew more and more dissatisfied, till at last she very earnestly desired me to quit my lodgings, and insisted upon it with more vehemence than I had ever known her express before. To say the truth, if that excellent woman could ever be thought unreasonable, I thought she was so on this occasion.

“The day after we arrived, we met Mons. Bagillard. He was a Frenchman full of wit and energy, with more knowledge than most gentlemen usually have. Since he lived in the same house as us, we quickly became friends, and I enjoyed our conversations so much that I never felt I had too much of his company. In fact, I spent so much time with him that Amelia (I’m not sure if I should mention this) became uncomfortable with our closeness and complained that I was spending too little time with her because of my strong interest in my new friend. Our talks mainly revolved around books, especially Latin ones, as we read several classics together, leaving little entertainment for her when she was with us. Once my wife decided she was missing out on my company because of M. Bagillard, it was impossible to change her mind. Even though I spent more time with her than I ever had before, she became increasingly unhappy, until she finally insisted that I move out of my lodgings, demanding it with more passion than I had ever seen from her before. To be honest, if that wonderful woman could ever be seen as unreasonable, I thought she was in this case.”

“But in what light soever her desires appeared to me, as they manifestly arose from an affection of which I had daily the most endearing proofs, I resolved to comply with her, and accordingly removed to a distant part of the town; for it is my opinion that we can have but little love for the person whom we will never indulge in an unreasonable demand. Indeed, I was under a difficulty with regard to Mons. Bagillard; for, as I could not possibly communicate to him the true reason for quitting my lodgings, so I found it as difficult to deceive him by a counterfeit one; besides, I was apprehensive I should have little less of his company than before. I could, indeed, have avoided this dilemma by leaving Montpelier, for Amelia had perfectly recovered her health; but I had faithfully promised Captain James to wait his return from Italy, whither he was gone some time before from Gibraltar; nor was it proper for Amelia to take any long journey, she being now near six months gone with child.

“But no matter how I viewed her desires, since they clearly came from a love that I received daily in the most affectionate ways, I decided to go along with her and moved to a different part of town. I believe we can hardly have any real love for someone if we never indulge in an unreasonable request from them. Honestly, I was in a tough spot regarding Mons. Bagillard because I couldn't share the real reason for leaving my place, and I found it just as hard to fool him with a fake one. Besides, I worried I would see him even less than before. I could have avoided this problem by leaving Montpelier since Amelia had completely regained her health, but I had given my word to Captain James to wait for his return from Italy, where he had gone some time earlier from Gibraltar. Also, it wasn't suitable for Amelia to travel far, as she was now nearly six months pregnant.”

“This difficulty, however, proved to be less than I had imagined it; for my French friend, whether he suspected anything from my wife’s behaviour, though she never, as I observed, shewed him the least incivility, became suddenly as cold on his side. After our leaving the lodgings he never made above two or three formal visits; indeed his time was soon after entirely taken up by an intrigue with a certain countess, which blazed all over Montpelier.

“This difficulty, however, turned out to be less than I had expected; my French friend, whether he noticed something from my wife’s behavior—though she never, as I saw, showed him any rudeness—suddenly became cold toward me. After we left the place we were staying, he only made two or three formal visits; in fact, his time was soon entirely consumed by an affair with a certain countess, which became the talk of Montpelier.”

“We had not been long in our new apartments before an English officer arrived at Montpelier, and came to lodge in the same house with us. This gentleman, whose name was Bath, was of the rank of a major, and had so much singularity in his character, that, perhaps, you never heard of any like him. He was far from having any of those bookish qualifications which had before caused my Amelia’s disquiet. It is true, his discourse generally turned on matters of no feminine kind; war and martial exploits being the ordinary topics of his conversation: however, as he had a sister with whom Amelia was greatly pleased, an intimacy presently grew between us, and we four lived in one family.

“We hadn’t been in our new apartment for long when an English officer arrived in Montpelier and came to stay in the same building as us. This gentleman, named Bath, was a major and had such a uniqueness about him that you probably haven't encountered anyone like him before. He definitely didn’t possess any of those scholarly traits that had previously unsettled Amelia. It’s true that his conversations usually focused on subjects that weren’t very feminine; topics like war and military exploits were his usual go-tos. However, since he had a sister who Amelia really liked, we quickly became close, and the four of us ended up living like one family.

“The major was a great dealer in the marvellous, and was constantly the little hero of his own tale. This made him very entertaining to Amelia, who, of all the persons in the world, hath the truest taste and enjoyment of the ridiculous; for, whilst no one sooner discovers it in the character of another, no one so well conceals her knowledge of it from the ridiculous person. I cannot help mentioning a sentiment of hers on this head, as I think it doth her great honour. ‘If I had the same neglect,’ said she, ‘for ridiculous people with the generality of the world, I should rather think them the objects of tears than laughter; but, in reality, I have known several who, in some parts of their characters, have been extremely ridiculous, in others have been altogether as amiable. For instance,’ said she, ‘here is the major, who tells us of many things which he has never seen, and of others which he hath never done, and both in the most extravagant excess; and yet how amiable is his behaviour to his poor sister, whom he hath not only brought over hither for her health, at his own expence, but is come to bear her company.’ I believe, madam, I repeat her very words; for I am very apt to remember what she says.

"The major was an expert at spinning tales and was always the little hero of his own story. This made him very entertaining to Amelia, who, out of everyone, had the best taste and appreciation for the ridiculous; because while no one can spot it in others faster than she can, no one hides her awareness of it from the ridiculous person better. I can't help but mention something she said on this topic, as I think it reflects very well on her. 'If I ignored ridiculous people like most people do,' she said, 'I would see them as objects of tears rather than laughter; but in truth, I’ve known several who, in some aspects of their characters, are extremely ridiculous, and in others, are equally charming. For instance,’ she said, ‘look at the major, who tells us about many things he has never seen and others he has never done, all in the most outrageous way; and yet, how kind he is to his poor sister, whom he not only brought here for her health at his own expense but also came to keep her company.' I believe, ma'am, I’m repeating her exact words, as I have a good memory for what she says."

“You will easily believe, from a circumstance I have just mentioned in the major’s favour, especially when I have told you that his sister was one of the best of girls, that it was entirely necessary to hide from her all kind of laughter at any part of her brother’s behaviour. To say the truth, this was easy enough to do; for the poor girl was so blinded with love and gratitude, and so highly honoured and reverenced her brother, that she had not the least suspicion that there was a person in the world capable of laughing at him.

“You will easily believe, from what I've just mentioned in the major’s favor, especially when I tell you that his sister was a really great person, that it was completely necessary to hide any laughter at any part of her brother’s behavior from her. To be honest, this was pretty easy to do; the poor girl was so blinded by love and gratitude, and she honored and revered her brother so much, that she had no idea there was anyone in the world who could laugh at him."

“Indeed, I am certain she never made the least discovery of our ridicule; for I am well convinced she would have resented it: for, besides the love she bore her brother, she had a little family pride, which would sometimes appear. To say the truth, if she had any fault, it was that of vanity, but she was a very good girl upon the whole; and none of us are entirely free from faults.”

“Honestly, I’m sure she never noticed our mocking; I’m convinced she would have been upset about it. Besides her love for her brother, she had a bit of family pride that would occasionally show. To be honest, if she had any flaw, it was vanity, but overall she was a really good person; and none of us are completely without faults.”

“You are a good-natured fellow, Will,” answered Miss Matthews; “but vanity is a fault of the first magnitude in a woman, and often the occasion of many others.”

“You're a good guy, Will,” Miss Matthews replied, “but vanity is a major flaw in a woman and can often lead to many other issues.”

To this Booth made no answer, but continued his story.

To this, Booth didn’t respond but kept telling his story.

“In this company we passed two or three months very agreeably, till the major and I both betook ourselves to our several nurseries; my wife being brought to bed of a girl, and Miss Bath confined to her chamber by a surfeit, which had like to have occasioned her death.”

“In this company, we spent two or three months quite happily, until the major and I each returned to our respective homes; my wife had just given birth to a girl, and Miss Bath was stuck in her room due to an overindulgence that nearly caused her death.”

Here Miss Matthews burst into a loud laugh, of which when Booth asked the reason, she said she could not forbear at the thoughts of two such nurses.

Here Miss Matthews burst into a loud laugh, and when Booth asked why, she said she couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of two such nurses.

“And did you really,” says she, “make your wife’s caudle yourself?”

“And did you really,” she asks, “make your wife’s caudle by yourself?”

“Indeed, madam,” said he, “I did; and do you think that so extraordinary?”

“Sure, ma'am,” he said, “I did; and do you really think that's so unusual?”

“Indeed I do,” answered she; “I thought the best husbands had looked on their wives’ lying-in as a time of festival and jollity. What! did you not even get drunk in the time of your wife’s delivery? tell me honestly how you employed yourself at this time.”

“Of course I do,” she replied. “I thought the best husbands saw their wives' labor as a time for celebration and joy. What? Didn’t you even have a drink while your wife was giving birth? Tell me honestly what you were doing during that time.”

“Why, then, honestly,” replied he, “and in defiance of your laughter, I lay behind her bolster, and supported her in my arms; and, upon my soul, I believe I felt more pain in my mind than she underwent in her body. And now answer me as honestly: Do you really think it a proper time of mirth, when the creature one loves to distraction is undergoing the most racking torments, as well as in the most imminent danger? and—but I need not express any more tender circumstances.”

“Why, then, honestly,” he replied, “and despite your laughter, I lay behind her pillow and held her in my arms; and, honestly, I believe I felt more pain in my heart than she did in her body. Now, answer me honestly: Do you really think it’s a good time to be laughing when the person you’re completely in love with is going through the worst suffering and is in serious danger?—but I don’t need to explain any more intimate details.”

“I am to answer honestly,” cried she. “Yes, and sincerely,” cries Booth. “Why, then, honestly and sincerely,” says she, “may I never see heaven if I don’t think you an angel of a man!”

“I have to answer honestly,” she exclaimed. “Yes, and sincerely,” Booth replied. “Well then, honestly and sincerely,” she said, “I swear I’ll never see heaven if I don’t think you’re an angel of a man!”

“Nay, madam,” answered Booth—“but, indeed, you do me too much honour; there are many such husbands. Nay, have we not an example of the like tenderness in the major? though as to him, I believe, I shall make you laugh. While my wife lay-in, Miss Bath being extremely ill, I went one day to the door of her apartment, to enquire after her health, as well as for the major, whom I had not seen during a whole week. I knocked softly at the door, and being bid to open it, I found the major in his sister’s ante-chamber warming her posset. His dress was certainly whimsical enough, having on a woman’s bedgown and a very dirty flannel nightcap, which, being added to a very odd person (for he is a very awkward thin man, near seven feet high), might have formed, in the opinion of most men, a very proper object of laughter. The major started from his seat at my entering into the room, and, with much emotion, and a great oath, cried out, ‘Is it you, sir?’ I then enquired after his and his sister’s health. He answered, that his sister was better, and he was very well, ‘though I did not expect, sir,’ cried he, with not a little confusion, ‘to be seen by you in this situation.’ I told him I thought it impossible he could appear in a situation more becoming his character. ‘You do not?’ answered he. ‘By G—— I am very much obliged to you for that opinion; but, I believe, sir, however my weakness may prevail on me to descend from it, no man can be more conscious of his own dignity than myself.’ His sister then called to him from the inner room; upon which he rang the bell for her servant, and then, after a stride or two across the room, he said, with an elated aspect, ‘I would not have you think, Mr. Booth, because you have caught me in this deshabille, by coming upon me a little too abruptly—I cannot help saying a little too abruptly—that I am my sister’s nurse. I know better what is due to the dignity of a man, and I have shewn it in a line of battle. I think I have made a figure there, Mr. Booth, and becoming my character; by G—— I ought not to be despised too much if my nature is not totally without its weaknesses.’ He uttered this, and some more of the same kind, with great majesty, or, as he called it, dignity. Indeed, he used some hard words that I did not understand; for all his words are not to be found in a dictionary. Upon the whole, I could not easily refrain from laughter; however, I conquered myself, and soon after retired from him, astonished that it was possible for a man to possess true goodness, and be at the same time ashamed of it.

“Nah, ma’am,” Booth replied, “but honestly, you’re giving me too much credit; there are plenty of husbands like that. Don’t we have an example of similar tenderness with the major? Although, I believe I’ll make you laugh when I talk about him. While my wife was in labor and Miss Bath was really sick, I went one day to check on her, as well as the major, whom I hadn’t seen in a whole week. I knocked softly at her door, and when I was told to come in, I found the major in his sister’s anteroom, warming her drink. His outfit was certainly strange, as he was wearing a woman’s nightgown and a very dirty flannel nightcap, which, combined with his unusual appearance (he’s a very awkward, thin man, almost seven feet tall), could have seemed quite laughable to most people. The major jumped up from his seat when I entered the room and, quite emotional and swearing, exclaimed, ‘Is it you, sir?’ I then asked how he and his sister were doing. He said his sister was feeling better and that he was doing well, ‘though I didn’t expect, sir,’ he said, somewhat embarrassed, ‘to be seen by you in this situation.’ I told him I thought it was impossible for him to appear in a situation more fitting to his character. ‘You don’t?’ he replied. ‘By G——, I’m really grateful for that opinion; but I believe, sir, no matter how my weaknesses might lead me to drop it, no man is more aware of his own dignity than I am.’ His sister then called for him from the inner room, at which point he rang for her servant, and after pacing the room a bit, he said with pride, ‘I wouldn’t want you to think, Mr. Booth, that just because you found me in this state, coming upon me a bit too abruptly—I can’t help but say a bit too abruptly—that I am my sister’s nurse. I know better what is due to a man’s dignity, and I’ve shown it in battle. I believe I made a mark there, Mr. Booth, fitting to my character; by G——, I shouldn’t be looked down on too much if I’m not completely without my weaknesses.’ He spoke this and some other similar things with great majesty, or as he called it, dignity. Indeed, he used some complicated words that I didn’t understand; not all his words can be found in a dictionary. Overall, I could hardly hold back my laughter; however, I managed to control myself and soon after left him, amazed that it was possible for a man to possess true goodness and still be ashamed of it.

“But, if I was surprized at what had past at this visit, how much more was I surprized the next morning, when he came very early to my chamber, and told me he had not been able to sleep one wink at what had past between us! ‘There were some words of yours,’ says he, ‘which must be further explained before we part. You told me, sir, when you found me in that situation, which I cannot bear to recollect, that you thought I could not appear in one more becoming my character; these were the words—I shall never forget them. Do you imagine that there is any of the dignity of a man wanting in my character? do you think that I have, during my sister’s illness, behaved with a weakness that savours too much of effeminacy? I know how much it is beneath a man to whine and whimper about a trifling girl as well as you or any man; and, if my sister had died, I should have behaved like a man on the occasion. I would not have you think I confined myself from company merely upon her account. I was very much disordered myself. And when you surprized me in that situation—I repeat again, in that situation—her nurse had not left the room three minutes, and I was blowing the fire for fear it should have gone out.’—In this manner he ran on almost a quarter of an hour before he would suffer me to speak. At last, looking steadfastly in his face, I asked him if I must conclude that he was in earnest? ‘In earnest!’ says he, repeating my words, ‘do you then take my character for a jest?’—Lookee, sir, said I, very gravely, I think we know one another very well; and I have no reason to suspect you should impute it to fear when I tell you I was so far from intending to affront you, that I meant you one of the highest compliments. Tenderness for women is so far from lessening, that it proves a true manly character. The manly Brutus shewed the utmost tenderness to his Portia; and the great king of Sweden, the bravest, and even fiercest of men, shut himself up three whole days in the midst of a campaign, and would see no company, on the death of a favourite sister. At these words I saw his features soften; and he cried out, ‘D—n me, I admire the king of Sweden of all the men in the world; and he is a rascal that is ashamed of doing anything which the king of Sweden did.—And yet, if any king of Sweden in France was to tell me that his sister had more merit than mine, by G—— I’d knock his brains about his ears. Poor little Betsy! she is the honestest, worthiest girl that ever was born. Heaven be praised, she is recovered; for, if I had lost her, I never should have enjoyed another happy moment.’ In this manner he ran on some time, till the tears began to overflow; which when he perceived, he stopt; perhaps he was unable to go on; for he seemed almost choaked: after a short silence, however, having wiped his eyes with his handkerchief, he fetched a deep sigh, and cried, ‘I am ashamed you should see this, Mr. Booth; but d—n me, nature will get the better of dignity.’ I now comforted him with the example of Xerxes, as I had before done with that of the king of Sweden; and soon after we sat down to breakfast together with much cordial friendship; for I assure you, with all his oddity, there is not a better-natured man in the world than the major.”

“But if I was surprised by what happened during that visit, how much more surprised was I the next morning when he came to my room very early and told me he hadn’t been able to sleep a wink because of our conversation! ‘There were some things you said,’ he said, ‘that need to be clarified before we part ways. You told me, sir, when you found me in that situation, which I can’t bear to think about, that you thought I couldn’t look any more fitting for my character; those words—I’ll never forget them. Do you really think there’s any dignity lacking in my character? Do you think that during my sister’s illness, I’ve acted in a way that’s too weak, lacking masculinity? I know it’s beneath a man to whine and whimper over a trivial girl, just like you or anyone else; and if my sister had died, I would have behaved like a man in that situation. I wouldn’t want you to think I isolated myself from others just because of her. I was very upset myself. And when you caught me in that situation—I’ll repeat it, in that situation—her nurse had only just left the room three minutes earlier, and I was tending the fire to keep it from going out.’ In this way, he went on for almost a quarter of an hour before he let me speak. Finally, looking intently at him, I asked if I should take it that he was serious? ‘Serious!’ he echoed my words, ‘Do you really think my character is a joke?’—Listen, sir, I said, very seriously, I believe we know each other quite well; and I have no reason to think you believe I’d insult you out of fear when I tell you that I was far from intending to offend; I meant to pay you one of the highest compliments. Caring for women doesn’t diminish a man; it actually shows true manliness. The manly Brutus showed the greatest tenderness to his Portia; and the great king of Sweden, the bravest, even fiercest of men, shut himself away for three whole days in the middle of a campaign and refused to see anyone when his favorite sister died. At this, I noticed his expression soften, and he exclaimed, ‘D—n it, I admire the king of Sweden more than any man in the world; and anyone who is ashamed to do what he did is a scoundrel.—And yet, if any king of Sweden in France were to tell me that his sister was worth more than mine, by G—— I’d knock his brains out. Poor little Betsy! She is the most honest, worthy girl who ever lived. Thank God she’s better now; because if I had lost her, I’d never have enjoyed another happy moment.’ He continued in this way for a while until tears began to spill from his eyes, and when he noticed, he stopped; perhaps he couldn’t continue, as he seemed almost choked up. After a brief silence, though, having wiped his eyes with his handkerchief, he took a deep breath and said, ‘I’m ashamed you should see this, Mr. Booth; but d—n it, nature will overcome dignity.’ I then comforted him with the example of Xerxes, as I had earlier with that of the king of Sweden, and soon afterward we sat down to breakfast together with a lot of warmth and friendship; because I assure you, despite all his quirks, there isn’t a better-natured man in the world than the major.”

“Good-natured, indeed!” cries Miss Matthews, with great scorn. “A fool! how can you mention such a fellow with commendation?”

“Good-natured, really!” Miss Matthews exclaims with a lot of scorn. “What a fool! How can you even talk about someone like him in a positive way?”

Booth spoke as much as he could in defence of his friend; indeed, he had represented him in as favourable a light as possible, and had particularly left out those hard words with which, as he hath observed a little before, the major interlarded his discourse. Booth then proceeded as in the next chapter.

Booth spoke as much as he could in defense of his friend; in fact, he had presented him in the best way possible and had specifically left out the harsh words that, as he noted a little earlier, the major had used throughout his speech. Booth then continued as in the next chapter.










Chapter ix. — Containing very extraordinary matters.

“Miss Bath,” continued Booth, “now recovered so fast, that she was abroad as soon as my wife. Our little partie quarree began to grow agreeable again; and we mixed with the company of the place more than we had done before. Mons. Bagillard now again renewed his intimacy, for the countess, his mistress, was gone to Paris; at which my wife, at first, shewed no dissatisfaction; and I imagined that, as she had a friend and companion of her own sex (for Miss Bath and she had contracted the highest fondness for each other), that she would the less miss my company. However, I was disappointed in this expectation; for she soon began to express her former uneasiness, and her impatience for the arrival of Captain James, that we might entirely quit Montpelier.

“Miss Bath,” Booth continued, “recovered so quickly that she was out and about as soon as my wife. Our little group started to become enjoyable again, and we mingled with the local crowd more than we had before. Monsieur Bagillard renewed his friendship, since his mistress, the countess, had gone to Paris; at first, my wife didn’t seem bothered by this, and I thought that since she had a friend and companion in Miss Bath (who had become very close with her), she would miss my company less. However, I was wrong in this expectation; she soon began to show her previous discomfort and her eagerness for Captain James to arrive so we could leave Montpelier completely.

“I could not avoid conceiving some little displeasure at this humour of my wife, which I was forced to think a little unreasonable.”—“A little, do you call it?” says Miss Matthews: “Good Heavens! what a husband are you!”—“How little worthy,” answered he, “as you will say hereafter, of such a wife as my Amelia. One day, as we were sitting together, I heard a violent scream; upon which my wife, starting up, cried out, ‘Sure that’s Miss Bath’s voice;’ and immediately ran towards the chamber whence it proceeded. I followed her; and when we arrived, we there beheld the most shocking sight imaginable; Miss Bath lying dead on the floor, and the major all bloody kneeling by her, and roaring out for assistance. Amelia, though she was herself in little better condition than her friend, ran hastily to her, bared her neck, and attempted to loosen her stays, while I ran up and down, scarce knowing what I did, calling for water and cordials, and despatching several servants one after another for doctors and surgeons.

“I couldn't help but feel a bit annoyed by my wife's behavior, which I thought was somewhat unreasonable.” — “A bit, do you say?” Miss Matthews responded. “Good heavens! What kind of husband are you!” — “How unworthy,” he replied, “as you’ll point out later, of such a wife as my Amelia. One day, while we were sitting together, I heard a loud scream; my wife immediately jumped up and said, ‘That sounds like Miss Bath!’ and rushed towards the room it came from. I followed her, and when we got there, we were faced with the most horrifying sight imaginable: Miss Bath lying dead on the floor, and the major covered in blood, kneeling beside her and crying out for help. Amelia, even though she was in hardly better shape than her friend, hurried to her, exposed her neck, and tried to loosen her stays, while I ran around, barely knowing what I was doing, shouting for water and drinks, and sending several servants one after another for doctors and surgeons.

“Water, cordials, and all necessary implements being brought, Miss Bath was at length recovered, and placed in her chair, when the major seated himself by her. And now, the young lady being restored to life, the major, who, till then, had engaged as little of his own as of any other person’s attention, became the object of all our considerations, especially his poor sister’s, who had no sooner recovered sufficient strength than she began to lament her brother, crying out that he was killed; and bitterly bewailing her fate, in having revived from her swoon to behold so dreadful a spectacle. While Amelia applied herself to soothe the agonies of her friend, I began to enquire into the condition of the major, in which I was assisted by a surgeon, who now arrived. The major declared, with great chearfulness, that he did not apprehend his wound to be in the least dangerous, and therefore begged his sister to be comforted, saying he was convinced the surgeon would soon give her the same assurance; but that good man was not so liberal of assurances as the major had expected; for as soon as he had probed the wound he afforded no more than hopes, declaring that it was a very ugly wound; but added, by way of consolation, that he had cured many much worse.

“Water, drinks, and all the necessary tools were brought, and Miss Bath was finally revived and placed in her chair, while the major sat beside her. Now that the young lady was back to life, the major, who until then had attracted as little attention as anyone, became the focus of our concern, especially for his poor sister. As soon as she regained enough strength, she began to mourn for her brother, crying that he was killed and bitterly lamenting her fate for coming out of her faint to witness such a terrible scene. While Amelia tried to comfort her friend, I started to check on the major’s condition, with the help of a surgeon who had just arrived. The major cheerfully declared that he didn’t think his wound was very dangerous, and asked his sister to be comforted, saying he was sure the surgeon would soon reassure her too. However, that good man wasn’t as generous with reassurances as the major expected; as soon as he examined the wound, he only offered some hope, stating it was a very ugly wound, but added, to console her, that he had treated many much worse.”

“When the major was drest his sister seemed to possess his whole thoughts, and all his care was to relieve her grief. He solemnly protested that it was no more than a flesh wound, and not very deep, nor could, as he apprehended, be in the least dangerous; and as for the cold expressions of the surgeon, he very well accounted for them from a motive too obvious to be mentioned. From these declarations of her brother, and the interposition of her friends, and, above all, I believe, from that vast vent which she had given to her fright, Miss Bath seemed a little pacified: Amelia, therefore, at last prevailed; and, as terror abated, curiosity became the superior passion. I therefore now began to enquire what had occasioned that accident whence all the uproar arose.

“When the major got dressed, his sister seemed to occupy all his thoughts, and his main concern was to ease her worries. He solemnly insisted that it was just a superficial wound, not very deep, and he didn’t think it was dangerous at all; as for the surgeon's cold comments, he explained them away with motives that were too obvious to mention. From her brother's reassurances, the support of her friends, and especially, I believe, from the release she had given to her panic, Miss Bath appeared a bit calmer. So, Amelia finally won out; and as fear faded, curiosity took over. I then began to ask what had caused the incident that led to all the commotion."

“The major took me by the hand, and, looking very kindly at me, said, ‘My dear Mr. Booth, I must begin by asking your pardon; for I have done you an injury for which nothing but the height of friendship in me can be an excuse; and therefore nothing but the height of friendship in you can forgive.’ This preamble, madam, you will easily believe, greatly alarmed all the company, but especially me. I answered, Dear major, I forgive you, let it be what it will; but what is it possible you can have done to injure me? ‘That,’ replied he, ‘which I am convinced a man of your honour and dignity of nature, by G—, must conclude to be one of the highest injuries. I have taken out of your own hands the doing yourself justice. I am afraid I have killed the man who hath injured your honour. I mean that villain Bagillard—but I cannot proceed; for you, madam,’ said he to my wife, ‘are concerned, and I know what is due to the dignity of your sex.’ Amelia, I observed, turned pale at these words, but eagerly begged him to proceed. ‘Nay, madam,’ answered he, ‘if I am commanded by a lady, it is a part of my dignity to obey.’ He then proceeded to tell us that Bagillard had rallied him upon a supposition that he was pursuing my wife with a view of gallantry; telling him that he could never succeed; giving hints that, if it had been possible, he should have succeeded himself; and ending with calling my poor Amelia an accomplished prude; upon which the major gave Bagillard a box in the ear, and both immediately drew their swords.

“The major took my hand and, looking at me kindly, said, ‘My dear Mr. Booth, I must start by asking for your forgiveness; I have done you a wrong for which only the deepest friendship on my part can be an excuse, and only the deepest friendship on yours can forgive.’ You can imagine how alarming this preface was for everyone present, especially for me. I replied, ‘Dear major, I forgive you, whatever it is; but what could you possibly have done to hurt me?’ ‘That,’ he said, ‘which a man of your honor and noble character, by God, must consider one of the greatest offenses. I have taken the matter into my own hands, thinking to do you justice. I fear I have killed the man who wronged your honor. I mean that scoundrel Bagillard—but I can't continue; because you, madam,’ he said to my wife, ‘are involved, and I know how to respect the dignity of your sex.’ I noticed Amelia turned pale at these words, but she eagerly urged him to continue. ‘Well, madam,’ he replied, ‘if I am commanded by a lady, it is part of my dignity to comply.’ He then went on to explain that Bagillard had mocked him, suggesting he was pursuing my wife for romantic reasons; he told him he could never succeed and hinted that if it had been possible, he would have succeeded himself, ending by calling my poor Amelia an accomplished prude; at which point the major slapped Bagillard across the face, and they both immediately drew their swords.”

“The major had scarce ended his speech when a servant came into the room, and told me there was a fryar below who desired to speak with me in great haste. I shook the major by the hand, and told him I not only forgave him, but was extremely obliged to his friendship; and then, going to the fryar, I found that he was Bagillard’s confessor, from whom he came to me, with an earnest desire of seeing me, that he might ask my pardon and receive my forgiveness before he died for the injury he had intended me. My wife at first opposed my going, from some sudden fears on my account; but when she was convinced they were groundless she consented.

“The major had just finished his speech when a servant came into the room and told me there was a friar downstairs who wanted to speak with me urgently. I shook the major's hand and told him that I not only forgave him but was also very thankful for his friendship. Then, going to the friar, I found out he was Bagillard’s confessor. He came to me with a strong desire to see me so he could ask for my forgiveness for the wrong he intended to do to me before he died. My wife initially opposed my going due to some sudden fears for my safety, but once she realized those fears were unfounded, she agreed."

“I found Bagillard in his bed; for the major’s sword had passed up to the very hilt through his body. After having very earnestly asked my pardon, he made me many compliments on the possession of a woman who, joined to the most exquisite beauty, was mistress of the most impregnable virtue; as a proof of which he acknowledged the vehemence as well as ill success of his attempts: and, to make Amelia’s virtue appear the brighter, his vanity was so predominant he could not forbear running over the names of several women of fashion who had yielded to his passion, which, he said, had never raged so violently for any other as for my poor Amelia; and that this violence, which he had found wholly unconquerable, he hoped would procure his pardon at my hands. It is unnecessary to mention what I said on the occasion. I assured him of my entire forgiveness; and so we parted. To say the truth, I afterwards thought myself almost obliged to him for a meeting with Amelia the most luxuriously delicate that can be imagined.

“I found Bagillard in his bed; the major’s sword had gone all the way through him. After sincerely asking for my forgiveness, he complimented me for having a woman who, in addition to her stunning beauty, possessed the most unwavering virtue. He acknowledged how passionately he had pursued her, even though he had no success. To highlight Amelia’s virtue, he couldn’t help but list several high-society women who had given in to his charms, claiming that he had never felt such intensity for anyone else as he did for my poor Amelia. He hoped that the strength of that desire, which he found completely unbeatable, would earn his forgiveness from me. There’s no need to mention what I said at that moment. I reassured him of my complete forgiveness, and then we parted ways. Honestly, I later felt almost grateful to him for giving me the chance to meet Amelia in the most luxuriously delicate way imaginable.”

“I now ran to my wife, whom I embraced with raptures of love and tenderness. When the first torrent of these was a little abated, ‘Confess to me, my dear,’ said she, ‘could your goodness prevent you from thinking me a little unreasonable in expressing so much uneasiness at the loss of your company, while I ought to have rejoiced in the thoughts of your being so well entertained; I know you must; and then consider what I must have felt, while I knew I was daily lessening myself in your esteem, and forced into a conduct which I was sensible must appear to you, who was ignorant of my motive, to be mean, vulgar, and selfish. And yet, what other course had I to take with a man whom no denial, no scorn could abash? But, if this was a cruel task, how much more wretched still was the constraint I was obliged to wear in his presence before you, to shew outward civility to the man whom my soul detested, for fear of any fatal consequence from your suspicion; and this too while I was afraid he would construe it to be an encouragement? Do you not pity your poor Amelia when you reflect on her situation?’ Pity! cried I; my love! is pity an adequate expression for esteem, for adoration? But how, my love, could he carry this on so secretly?—by letters? ‘O no, he offered me many; but I never would receive but one, and that I returned him. Good G—! I would not have such a letter in my possession for the universe; I thought my eyes contaminated with reading it.’” “O brave!” cried Miss Matthews; “heroic, I protest.

“I ran to my wife, and I embraced her with overwhelming love and tenderness. When the initial wave of emotions calmed down a bit, she said, ‘Please tell me, my dear, could your kindness prevent you from thinking I’m a little unreasonable for expressing so much worry about losing your company when I should have been happy knowing you were enjoying yourself? I know you must; and consider how I felt knowing I was daily diminishing my standing in your eyes and forced to act in a way that I knew must seem to you, without understanding my reasons, mean, ordinary, and selfish. But what other option did I have with a man who could be undeterred by denial or scorn? If this was a difficult challenge, how much more miserable was the mask of civility I had to maintain in his presence in front of you, showing respect to the man I detested, fearing any disastrous consequences from your suspicions? And all this while I was worried he would take it as encouragement! Don’t you pity your poor Amelia when you think about her situation?’ Pity! I exclaimed; my love! Is pity enough to convey my admiration and devotion? But how, my love, could he maintain this in such secrecy?—through letters? ‘Oh no, he offered me many, but I only accepted one, and I returned it to him. Good Gr—! I wouldn’t want such a letter even for the world; I felt like my eyes were tainted by reading it.’” “Oh brave!” Miss Matthews exclaimed; “truly heroic, I must say.”

   “‘Had I a wish that did not bear
     The stamp and image of my dear,
     I’d pierce my heart through ev’ry vein,
     And die to let it out again.’”
 
   “‘If I had a wish that didn’t reflect
     The mark and likeness of my love,
     I’d stab my heart through every vein,
     And die to release it once more.’”

“And you can really,” cried he, “laugh at so much tenderness?” “I laugh at tenderness! O, Mr. Booth!” answered she, “thou knowest but little of Calista.” “I thought formerly,” cried he, “I knew a great deal, and thought you, of all women in the world, to have the greatest—-of all women!” “Take care, Mr. Booth,” said she. “By heaven! if you thought so, you thought truly. But what is the object of my tenderness—such an object as—” “Well, madam,” says he, “I hope you will find one.” “I thank you for that hope, however,” says she, “cold as it is. But pray go on with your story;” which command he immediately obeyed.

“And you can really,” he exclaimed, “laugh at so much tenderness?” “I laugh at tenderness! Oh, Mr. Booth!” she replied, “you know very little about Calista.” “I used to think,” he said, “that I knew a lot, and believed you, of all women in the world, had the most— of all women!” “Be careful, Mr. Booth,” she warned. “By heaven! if you thought that, you thought right. But what is the object of my tenderness—such an object as—” “Well, madam,” he replied, “I hope you find one.” “I appreciate that hope, even if it is a bit cold. But please continue with your story;” which order he immediately followed.










Chapter x. — Containing a letter of a very curious kind.

“The major’s wound,” continued Booth, “was really as slight as he believed it; so that in a very few days he was perfectly well; nor was Bagillard, though run through the body, long apprehending to be in any danger of his life. The major then took me aside, and, wishing me heartily joy of Bagillard’s recovery, told me I should now, by the gift (as it were) of Heaven, have an opportunity of doing myself justice. I answered I could not think of any such thing; for that when I imagined he was on his death-bed I had heartily and sincerely forgiven him. ‘Very right,’ replied the major, ‘and consistent with your honour, when he was on his death-bed; but that forgiveness was only conditional, and is revoked by his recovery.’ I told him I could not possibly revoke it; for that my anger was really gone.—‘What hath anger,’ cried he, ‘to do with the matter? the dignity of my nature hath been always my reason for drawing my sword; and when that is concerned I can as readily fight with the man I love as with the man I hate.’—I will not tire you with the repetition of the whole argument, in which the major did not prevail; and I really believe I sunk a little in his esteem upon that account, till Captain James, who arrived soon after, again perfectly reinstated me in his favour.

“The major’s wound,” Booth continued, “was actually as minor as he thought it was; so within just a few days, he was totally fine. Bagillard, even after being stabbed in the stomach, didn't believe he was in any real danger of dying. The major then pulled me aside and, genuinely happy about Bagillard’s recovery, told me that now, by what he called the gift of Heaven, I would have a chance to prove myself. I replied that I couldn't think about any such thing; because when I thought he was dying, I had truly and sincerely forgiven him. ‘That’s very noble,’ the major said, ‘and fitting for your honor when he was on his deathbed; but that forgiveness was only conditional and doesn't count now that he's recovered.’ I told him I couldn't possibly take it back because my anger was truly gone. ‘What does anger,’ he exclaimed, ‘have to do with it? My sense of honor has always been my reason for drawing my sword; and when that’s at stake, I can just as easily fight the man I love as the man I hate.’—I won’t bore you with the whole argument, in which the major didn’t win; and I honestly believe I lost a bit of his respect over that, until Captain James showed up soon after and completely restored my standing with him.

“When the captain was come there remained no cause of our longer stay at Montpelier; for, as to my wife, she was in a better state of health than I had ever known her; and Miss Bath had not only recovered her health but her bloom, and from a pale skeleton was become a plump, handsome young woman. James was again my cashier; for, far from receiving any remittance, it was now a long time since I had received any letter from England, though both myself and my dear Amelia had written several, both to my mother and sister; and now, at our departure from Montpelier, I bethought myself of writing to my good friend the doctor, acquainting him with our journey to Paris, whither I desired he would direct his answer.

"When the captain arrived, there was no reason for us to stay longer in Montpelier. My wife was healthier than I had ever seen her, and Miss Bath had not only regained her health but also her beauty; she had transformed from a pale shadow into a plump, attractive young woman. James was once again handling my finances; in fact, instead of receiving any money, it had been a long time since I got a letter from England, even though both Amelia and I had written several to my mother and sister. As we were leaving Montpelier, I thought about writing to my good friend the doctor to let him know about our trip to Paris, where I hoped he would send his reply."

“At Paris we all arrived without encountering any adventure on the road worth relating; nor did anything of consequence happen here during the first fortnight; for, as you know neither Captain James nor Miss Bath, it is scarce worth telling you that an affection, which afterwards ended in a marriage, began now to appear between them, in which it may appear odd to you that I made the first discovery of the lady’s flame, and my wife of the captain’s.

“At Paris, we all arrived without experiencing any noteworthy adventures on the road; nor did anything significant happen during our first two weeks here. As you know, neither Captain James nor Miss Bath, it’s not really worth mentioning that a romance, which later led to marriage, began to develop between them. It might seem strange to you that I was the first to notice the lady’s feelings, while my wife noticed the captain’s.”

“The seventeenth day after our arrival at Paris I received a letter from the doctor, which I have in my pocket-book; and, if you please, I will read it you; for I would not willingly do any injury to his words.”

“The seventeenth day after we got to Paris, I received a letter from the doctor, which I have in my wallet; and, if you’d like, I’ll read it to you because I wouldn’t want to misrepresent his words.”

The lady, you may easily believe, desired to hear the letter, and Booth read it as follows:

The lady, as you can imagine, wanted to hear the letter, and Booth read it like this:

“MY DEAR CHILDREN—For I will now call you so, as you have neither of you now any other parent in this world. Of this melancholy news I should have sent you earlier notice if I had thought you ignorant of it, or indeed if I had known whither to have written. If your sister hath received any letters from you she hath kept them a secret, and perhaps out of affection to you hath reposited them in the same place where she keeps her goodness, and, what I am afraid is much dearer to her, her money. The reports concerning you have been various; so is always the case in matters where men are ignorant; for, when no man knows what the truth is, every man thinks himself at liberty to report what he pleases. Those who wish you well, son Booth, say simply that you are dead: others, that you ran away from the siege, and was cashiered. As for my daughter, all agree that she is a saint above; and there are not wanting those who hint that her husband sent her thither. From this beginning you will expect, I suppose, better news than I am going to tell you; but pray, my dear children, why may not I, who have always laughed at my own afflictions, laugh at yours, without the censure of much malevolence? I wish you could learn this temper from me; for, take my word for it, nothing truer ever came from the mouth of a heathen than that sentence:

“MY DEAR CHILDREN—I'm calling you that now, since you have no other parents in this world. I would have informed you about this sad news sooner if I thought you didn’t know, or if I had known where to send it. If your sister has received any letters from you, she’s kept them secret, and maybe out of love for you, she’s stored them in the same place where she keeps her goodness and, what I fear is much more precious to her, her money. The rumors about you have been all over the place; that’s what happens when people don’t know the truth. When no one knows what’s really going on, everyone feels free to say whatever they want. Those who care about you, son Booth, simply say you’re dead; others say you fled from the siege and were kicked out. As for my daughter, everyone agrees she’s a saint now, and some suggest that her husband sent her there. Given this, you might expect better news than what I’m about to share with you; but please, my dear children, why can’t I, who have always laughed at my own troubles, laugh at yours without being seen as cruel? I wish you could learn this attitude from me; believe me, nothing has ever been truer than that statement:

‘—-Leve fit quod bene fertur onus.’ {Footnote: The burthen becomes light by being well borne.}

‘—-Leve fit quod bene fertur onus.’ {Footnote: The burden becomes light when it is carried well.}

“And though I must confess I never thought Aristotle (whom I do not take for so great a blockhead as some who have never read him) doth not very well resolve the doubt which he hath raised in his Ethics, viz., How a man in the midst of King Priam’s misfortunes can be called happy? yet I have long thought that there is no calamity so great that a Christian philosopher may not reasonably laugh at it; if the heathen Cicero, doubting of immortality (for so wise a man must have doubted of that which had such slender arguments to support it), could assert it as the office of wisdom, Humanas res despicere atque infra se positas arbitrari.{Footnote: To look down on all human affairs as matters below his consideration.}

“And even though I have to admit I never thought Aristotle (whom I don’t consider as big a fool as some who haven’t read him do) really provides a solid answer to the question he raises in his Ethics, namely, how can a man be called happy in the midst of King Priam’s misfortunes? I’ve long believed that there’s no disaster so severe that a Christian philosopher can’t reasonably find humor in it; if the pagan Cicero, who had doubts about immortality (since such a wise man must have questioned what has so little evidence to back it), could state that it is the role of wisdom, Humanas res despicere atque infra se positas arbitrari.{Footnote: To look down on all human affairs as matters below his consideration.}

“Which passage, with much more to the same purpose, you will find in the third book of his Tusculan Questions.

“Which passage, along with much more on the same topic, you will find in the third book of his Tusculan Questions.

“With how much greater confidence may a good Christian despise, and even deride, all temporary and short transitory evils! If the poor wretch, who is trudging on to his miserable cottage, can laugh at the storms and tempests, the rain and whirlwinds, which surround him, while his richest hope is only that of rest; how much more chearfully must a man pass through such transient evils, whose spirits are buoyed up with the certain expectation of finding a noble palace and the most sumptuous entertainment ready to receive him! I do not much like the simile; but I cannot think of a better. And yet, inadequate as the simile is, we may, I think, from the actions of mankind, conclude that they will consider it as much too strong; for, in the case I have put of the entertainment, is there any man so tender or poor-spirited as not to despise, and often to deride, the fiercest of these inclemencies which I have mentioned? but in our journey to the glorious mansions of everlasting bliss, how severely is every little rub, every trifling accident, lamented! and if Fortune showers down any of her heavier storms upon us, how wretched do we presently appear to ourselves and to others! The reason of this can be no other than that we are not in earnest in our faith; at the best, we think with too little attention on this our great concern. While the most paultry matters of this world, even those pitiful trifles, those childish gewgaws, riches and honours, are transacted with the utmost earnestness and most serious application, the grand and weighty affair of immortality is postponed and disregarded, nor ever brought into the least competition with our affairs here. If one of my cloth should begin a discourse of heaven in the scenes of business or pleasure; in the court of requests, at Garraway’s, or at White’s; would he gain a hearing, unless, perhaps, of some sorry jester who would desire to ridicule him? would he not presently acquire the name of the mad parson, and be thought by all men worthy of Bedlam? or would he not be treated as the Romans treated their Aretalogi,{Footnote: A set of beggarly philosophers who diverted great men at their table with burlesque discourses on virtue.} and considered in the light of a buffoon? But why should I mention those places of hurry and worldly pursuit? What attention do we engage even in the pulpit? Here, if a sermon be prolonged a little beyond the usual hour, doth it not set half the audience asleep? as I question not I have by this time both my children. Well, then, like a good-natured surgeon, who prepares his patient for a painful operation by endeavouring as much as he can to deaden his sensation, I will now communicate to you, in your slumbering condition, the news with which I threatened you. Your good mother, you are to know, is dead at last, and hath left her whole fortune to her elder daughter.—This is all the ill news I have to tell you. Confess now, if you are awake, did you not expect it was much worse; did not you apprehend that your charming child was dead? Far from it, he is in perfect health, and the admiration of everybody: what is more, he will be taken care of, with the tenderness of a parent, till your return. What pleasure must this give you! if indeed anything can add to the happiness of a married couple who are extremely and deservedly fond of each other, and, as you write me, in perfect health. A superstitious heathen would have dreaded the malice of Nemesis in your situation; but as I am a Christian, I shall venture to add another circumstance to your felicity, by assuring you that you have, besides your wife, a faithful and zealous friend. Do not, therefore, my dear children, fall into that fault which the excellent Thucydides observes is too common in human nature, to bear heavily the being deprived of the smaller good, without conceiving, at the same time, any gratitude for the much greater blessings which we are suffered to enjoy. I have only farther to tell you, my son, that, when you call at Mr. Morand’s, Rue Dauphine, you will find yourself worth a hundred pounds. Good Heaven! how much richer are you than millions of people who are in want of nothing! farewel, and know me for your sincere and affectionate friend.”

“With how much greater confidence can a good Christian look down on, and even mock, all temporary and fleeting troubles! If the unfortunate person trudging toward their shabby cottage can laugh at the storms and tempests, the rain and wind that surround them, while their only hope is for some rest; how much more cheerfully must someone move through such temporary troubles, whose spirits are lifted by the sure expectation of arriving at a grand palace with a lavish welcome waiting for them! I’m not too fond of this comparison, but I can’t think of a better one. Still, as inadequate as this analogy is, I think we can conclude from people's actions that they might view it as overly strong. In the case of the lavish welcome I mentioned, is there anyone so sensitive or downtrodden that they don't scorn and often make light of the fiercest hardships I talked about? Yet on our journey to the glorious places of eternal happiness, how much we lament every little bump in the road, every minor inconvenience! And if Fortune throws down any heavier problems on us, how miserable do we quickly appear to ourselves and others! The reason for this must be that we aren’t serious about our faith; at best, we don't focus enough on this crucial aspect of our lives. While we deal with the most trivial matters of this world, those pathetic little things, those childish baubles, wealth and honors, with the utmost seriousness and dedication, the significant matter of immortality is pushed aside and ignored, never placed in any real competition with our worldly concerns. If one of my colleagues started talking about heaven amidst business or leisure, in a court of requests, at Garraway’s, or at White’s; would they even get a listening ear, perhaps just from a poor joker hoping to make fun of them? Wouldn’t they quickly earn the title of the mad priest and be seen as someone worthy of a mental asylum? Or would they not be treated like the Romans treated their Aretalogi and seen as a fool? But why mention those bustling places of worldly pursuit? What attention do we even get in the pulpit? Here, if a sermon goes on just a bit longer than usual, doesn’t it put half the audience to sleep? As I’m sure I have by now done to both my children. Well then, like a kind-hearted surgeon who prepares their patient for a painful operation by trying to numb their senses, I will now share the news I have for you, even in your sleepy state. Your good mother is finally dead and has left her entire fortune to her elder daughter. —This is all the bad news I have to tell you. Now confess, if you’re awake, didn’t you expect something much worse; didn’t you think your lovely child was dead? Not at all, he is in perfect health and admired by everyone: what’s more, he will be cared for with parental tenderness until your return. How much joy must this bring you! If indeed anything can add to the happiness of a married couple who are extremely and understandably fond of each other, and, as you wrote to me, in perfect health. A superstitious pagan might have feared the wrath of Nemesis in your situation; but since I am a Christian, I will add another bit of good news to your happiness, assuring you that you have, in addition to your wife, a loyal and enthusiastic friend. Therefore, my dear children, do not fall into that common trap that the great Thucydides points out, where people tend to mourn the loss of lesser goods without showing any gratitude for the far greater blessings they still have. I only have one more thing to tell you, my son, when you stop by Mr. Morand’s on Rue Dauphine, you will find yourself worth a hundred pounds. Good heavens! How much richer are you than millions of people who have nothing! Farewell, and remember me as your sincere and affectionate friend.”

“There, madam,” cries Booth, “how do you like the letter?”

“There, ma'am,” Booth exclaims, “what do you think of the letter?”

“Oh! extremely,” answered she: “the doctor is a charming man; I always loved dearly to hear him preach. I remember to have heard of Mrs. Harris’s death above a year before I left the country, but never knew the particulars of her will before. I am extremely sorry for it, upon my honour.”

“Oh! Absolutely,” she replied. “The doctor is such a wonderful man; I’ve always really enjoyed listening to him preach. I remember hearing about Mrs. Harris’s death more than a year before I left the country, but I never knew the details of her will until now. I’m truly sorry about it, I swear.”

“Oh, fy! madam,” cries Booth; “have you so soon forgot the chief purport of the doctor’s letter?”

“Oh, come on, madam,” Booth exclaims; “have you really forgotten the main point of the doctor’s letter so quickly?”

“Ay, ay,” cried she; “these are very pretty things to read, I acknowledge; but the loss of fortune is a serious matter; and I am sure a man of Mr. Booth’s understanding must think so.” “One consideration, I must own, madam,” answered he, “a good deal baffled all the doctor’s arguments. This was the concern for my little growing family, who must one day feel the loss; nor was I so easy upon Amelia’s account as upon my own, though she herself put on the utmost chearfulness, and stretched her invention to the utmost to comfort me. But sure, madam, there is something in the doctor’s letter to admire beyond the philosophy of it; what think you of that easy, generous, friendly manner, in which he sent me the hundred pounds?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she exclaimed; “these are lovely things to read, I admit; but losing money is a serious issue, and I’m sure a man like Mr. Booth must feel that way.” “I have to admit, madam,” he replied, “one thing really challenged all the doctor’s arguments. It was the worry about my little growing family, who will eventually feel the loss; and I wasn't just concerned for myself, despite Amelia trying her best to keep a cheerful attitude and coming up with ways to comfort me. But really, madam, there’s something to admire in the doctor’s letter beyond just its philosophy; what do you think of the easygoing, generous, friendly way he sent me the hundred pounds?”

“Very noble and great indeed,” replied she. “But pray go on with your story; for I long to hear the whole.”

“Really noble and impressive,” she replied. “But please continue with your story; I’m eager to hear all of it.”










Chapter xi. — In which Mr. Booth relates his return to England.

“Nothing remarkable, as I remember, happened during our stay at Paris, which we left soon after and came to London. Here we rested only two days, and then, taking leave of our fellow-travellers, we set out for Wiltshire, my wife being so impatient to see the child which she had left behind her, that the child she carried with her was almost killed with the fatigue of the journey.

“Nothing notable, as I recall, happened during our time in Paris, which we left shortly after to head to London. We only rested there for two days, and then, saying goodbye to our travel companions, we set out for Wiltshire. My wife was so eager to see the child she had left behind that the child she brought with her was nearly exhausted from the journey.”

“We arrived at our inn late in the evening. Amelia, though she had no great reason to be pleased with any part of her sister’s behaviour, resolved to behave to her as if nothing wrong had ever happened. She therefore sent a kind note to her the moment of our arrival, giving her her option, whether she would come to us at the inn, or whether we should that evening wait on her. The servant, after waiting an hour, brought us an answer, excusing her from coming to us so late, as she was disordered with a cold, and desiring my wife by no means to think of venturing out after the fatigue of her journey; saying, she would, on that account, defer the great pleasure of seeing her till the morning, without taking any more notice of your humble servant than if no such person had been in the world, though I had very civilly sent my compliments to her. I should not mention this trifle, if it was not to shew you the nature of the woman, and that it will be a kind of key to her future conduct.

“We arrived at our inn late in the evening. Amelia, even though she had no good reason to be happy with any part of her sister's behavior, decided to treat her as if nothing had ever gone wrong. So, she sent her a nice note right when we arrived, giving her the choice of either coming to us at the inn or having us come to her that evening. The servant, after waiting an hour, brought us a response, explaining that she couldn’t come to us so late because she was feeling unwell with a cold, and asking my wife not to think of going out after the tiring journey; she said that because of this, she would postpone the great pleasure of seeing her until the morning, without acknowledging my presence at all as if I didn't exist, even though I had politely sent my regards. I wouldn't bring up this minor detail if it weren't to show you the nature of the woman, as it will serve as a kind of key to her future behavior.”

“When the servant returned, the good doctor, who had been with us almost all the time of his absence, hurried us away to his house, where we presently found a supper and a bed prepared for us. My wife was eagerly desirous to see her child that night; but the doctor would not suffer it; and, as he was at nurse at a distant part of the town, and the doctor assured her he had seen him in perfect health that evening, she suffered herself at last to be dissuaded.

“When the servant came back, the kind doctor, who had been with us almost the whole time he was gone, quickly took us to his house, where we soon found a dinner and a bed ready for us. My wife desperately wanted to see our child that night, but the doctor wouldn’t allow it; and since he was being cared for in a part of town far away, and the doctor assured her he had seen him healthy earlier that evening, she eventually let herself be persuaded.

“We spent that evening in the most agreeable manner; for the doctor’s wit and humour, joined to the highest chearfulness and good nature, made him the most agreeable companion in the world: and he was now in the highest spirits, which he was pleased to place to our account. We sat together to a very late hour; for so excellent is my wife’s constitution, that she declared she was scarce sensible of any fatigue from her late journeys.

“We spent that evening in the most enjoyable way; the doctor’s wit and humor, along with his great cheerfulness and good nature, made him the most delightful companion in the world. He was in such high spirits, which he happily attributed to us. We sat together until late at night; my wife’s constitution is so strong that she claimed she hardly felt any fatigue from her recent travels.”

“Amelia slept not a wink all night, and in the morning early the doctor accompanied us to the little infant. The transports we felt on this occasion were really enchanting, nor can any but a fond parent conceive, I am certain, the least idea of them. Our imaginations suggested a hundred agreeable circumstances, none of which had, perhaps, any foundation. We made words and meaning out of every sound, and in every feature found out some resemblance to my Amelia, as she did to me.

“Amelia didn’t sleep at all that night, and early in the morning, the doctor joined us to see the little baby. The excitement we felt at that moment was truly amazing, and no one but a loving parent could possibly understand it, I’m sure. Our minds imagined a hundred joyful possibilities, none of which may have been real. We created words and meanings from every sound, and in every little detail, we found some resemblance to my Amelia, just as she saw in me.”

“But I ask your pardon for dwelling on such incidents, and will proceed to scenes which, to most persons, will be more entertaining.

“But I apologize for focusing on such events, and I will move on to scenes that will be more entertaining for most people.”

“We went hence to pay a visit to Miss Harris, whose reception of us was, I think, truly ridiculous; and, as you know the lady, I will endeavour to describe it particularly. At our first arrival we were ushered into a parlour, where we were suffered to wait almost an hour. At length the lady of the house appeared in deep mourning, with a face, if possible, more dismal than her dress, in which, however, there was every appearance of art. Her features were indeed skrewed up to the very height of grief. With this face, and in the most solemn gait, she approached Amelia, and coldly saluted her. After which she made me a very distant formal courtesy, and we all sat down. A short silence now ensued, which Miss Harris at length broke with a deep sigh, and said, ‘Sister, here is a great alteration in this place since you saw it last; Heaven hath been pleased to take my poor mother to itself.’—(Here she wiped her eyes, and then continued.)—‘I hope I know my duty, and have learned a proper resignation to the divine will; but something is to be allowed to grief for the best of mothers; for so she was to us both; and if at last she made any distinction, she must have had her reasons for so doing. I am sure I can truly say I never wished, much less desired it.’ The tears now stood in poor Amelia’s eyes; indeed, she had paid too many already for the memory of so unnatural a parent. She answered, with the sweetness of an angel, that she was far from blaming her sister’s emotions on so tender an occasion; that she heartily joined with her in her grief; for that nothing which her mother had done in the latter part of her life could efface the remembrance of that tenderness which she had formerly shewn her. Her sister caught hold of the word efface, and rung the changes upon it.—‘Efface!’ cried she, ‘O Miss Emily (for you must not expect me to repeat names that will be for ever odious), I wish indeed everything could be effaced.—Effaced! O that that was possible! we might then have still enjoyed my poor mother; for I am convinced she never recovered her grief on a certain occasion.’—Thus she ran on, and, after many bitter strokes upon her sister, at last directly charged her mother’s death on my marriage with Amelia. I could be silent then no longer. I reminded her of the perfect reconciliation between us before my departure, and the great fondness which she expressed for me; nor could I help saying, in very plain terms, that if she had ever changed her opinion of me, as I was not conscious of having deserved such a change by my own behaviour, I was well convinced to whose good offices I owed it. Guilt hath very quick ears to an accusation. Miss Harris immediately answered to the charge. She said, such suspicions were no more than she expected; that they were of a piece with every other part of my conduct, and gave her one consolation, that they served to account for her sister Emily’s unkindness, as well to herself as to her poor deceased mother, and in some measure lessened the guilt of it with regard to her, since it was not easy to know how far a woman is in the power of her husband. My dear Amelia reddened at this reflection on me, and begged her sister to name any single instance of unkindness or disrespect in which she had ever offended. To this the other answered (I am sure I repeat her words, though I cannot mimic either the voice or air with which they were spoken)—‘Pray, Miss Emily, which is to be the judge, yourself or that gentleman? I remember the time when I could have trusted to your judgment in any affair; but you are now no longer mistress of yourself, and are not answerable for your actions. Indeed, it is my constant prayer that your actions may not be imputed to you. It was the constant prayer of that blessed woman, my dear mother, who is now a saint above; a saint whose name I can never mention without a tear, though I find you can hear it without one. I cannot help observing some concern on so melancholy an occasion; it seems due to decency; but, perhaps (for I always wish to excuse you) you are forbid to cry.’ The idea of being bid or forbid to cry struck so strongly on my fancy, that indignation only could have prevented me from laughing. But my narrative, I am afraid, begins to grow tedious. In short, after hearing, for near an hour, every malicious insinuation which a fertile genius could invent, we took our leave, and separated as persons who would never willingly meet again.

“We went to visit Miss Harris, and her welcome was, frankly, quite ridiculous. Since you know her, I’ll try to give you a detailed description. When we first arrived, we were shown into a parlor and made to wait for almost an hour. Finally, the lady of the house appeared in deep mourning, looking even more miserable than her outfit, which, however, seemed to have some effort behind it. Her features were contorted to the extreme, reflecting her grief. Approaching Amelia with the most serious demeanor, she coldly greeted her. Then she gave me a very distant, formal courtesy, and we all sat down. A brief silence followed, which Miss Harris eventually broke with a deep sigh, saying, ‘Sister, there’s been a big change in this place since you last saw it; Heaven has taken my poor mother.’—(She wiped her eyes and continued.)—‘I believe I know my duties and have learned to accept the divine will, but grief is natural for the loss of the best of mothers, which she was to both of us; if she showed any preference in the end, she must have had her reasons. I can honestly say I never wished for that, much less desired it.’ Tears welled up in poor Amelia’s eyes; she had already shed too many for a mother who was so unnatural. She responded, with the sweetness of an angel, that she didn’t blame her sister for her emotions on such a sensitive occasion and that she shared in her grief; nothing her mother did in the later part of her life could erase the memory of the kindness she had once shown her. Her sister seized on the word “erase” and went off on it. ‘Erase!’ she exclaimed, ‘O Miss Emily (you can’t expect me to say names that will always be loathsome), I truly wish everything could be erased.—Erased! Oh, if only that were possible! We might have still had my poor mother; I’m convinced she never got over her grief about a certain event.’—She continued rambling, and after many harsh jabs at her sister, she ultimately blamed their mother’s death on my marriage to Amelia. At that point, I couldn’t remain silent any longer. I reminded her how perfectly reconciled we had been before I left and the strong affection she had shown me. I couldn’t help but bluntly state that if she had ever changed her opinion of me, I was sure it wasn’t because of anything I did. Guilt has quick ears for accusation. Miss Harris immediately responded to the charge. She said such suspicions were exactly what she expected; they fit right in with everything else I had done, providing her a small comfort because they explained her sister Emily’s unkindness toward herself and their poor deceased mother, somewhat diminishing its blame since it’s not easy to know how far a woman is influenced by her husband. My dear Amelia flushed at this remark about me and urged her sister to name a single instance of unkindness or disrespect I had ever shown. The other replied (I’m sure I’m repeating her words, though I can’t capture the tone or manner they were delivered in)—‘Please, Miss Emily, who is to judge, you or that gentleman? I remember when I could have trusted your judgment in any matter; but you are no longer in control of yourself and aren’t responsible for your actions. In fact, I constantly pray that your actions shouldn’t be blamed on you. That was also the constant prayer of that blessed woman, my dear mother, who is now a saint above; a saint whose name I can never mention without shedding a tear, though you seem to be able to hear it without one. I can’t help but note some concern on such a sad occasion; it seems appropriate; but perhaps (I always like to give you the benefit of the doubt) you’ve been told not to cry.’ The thought of being told to cry or not struck me so vividly that only indignation kept me from laughing. But I fear my story is beginning to drag on. In short, after listening to nearly an hour of every nasty hint her imagination could produce, we took our leave and parted ways as if we would never choose to meet again.”

“The next morning after this interview Amelia received a long letter from Miss Harris; in which, after many bitter invectives against me, she excused her mother, alledging that she had been driven to do as she did in order to prevent Amelia’s ruin, if her fortune had fallen into my hands. She likewise very remotely hinted that she would be only a trustee for her sister’s children, and told her that on one condition only she would consent to live with her as a sister. This was, if she could by any means be separated from that man, as she was pleased to call me, who had caused so much mischief in the family.

The next morning after this meeting, Amelia received a long letter from Miss Harris. In it, after expressing her harsh criticisms of me, she defended her mother, claiming that her actions were driven by a need to prevent Amelia’s downfall if her fortune ended up in my hands. She also vaguely suggested that she would only act as a guardian for her sister’s children, and told Amelia that she would agree to live with her as a sister only on one condition. This condition was that she could somehow be separated from that man, as she referred to me, who had caused so much trouble in the family.

“I was so enraged at this usage, that, had not Amelia intervened, I believe I should have applied to a magistrate for a search-warrant for that picture, which there was so much reason to suspect she had stolen; and which I am convinced, upon a search, we should have found in her possession.”

“I was so angry about this situation that, if Amelia hadn't stepped in, I think I would have gone to a judge to get a search warrant for that picture, which I had so many reasons to believe she had stolen; and I’m pretty sure that if we had searched her, we would have found it with her.”

“Nay, it is possible enough,” cries Miss Matthews; “for I believe there is no wickedness of which the lady is not capable.”

“Nah, it’s definitely possible,” says Miss Matthews; “because I believe there’s no wrongdoing that the lady isn’t capable of.”

“This agreeable letter was succeeded by another of the like comfortable kind, which informed me that the company in which I was, being an additional one raised in the beginning of the war, was reduced; so that I was now a lieutenant on half-pay.

“This pleasant letter was followed by another similarly reassuring one, which let me know that the company I was in, created as an added unit at the start of the war, had been disbanded; so now I was a lieutenant on half-pay.”

“Whilst we were meditating on our present situation the good doctor came to us. When we related to him the manner in which my sister had treated us, he cried out, ‘Poor soul! I pity her heartily;’ for this is the severest resentment he ever expresses; indeed, I have often heard him say that a wicked soul is the greatest object of compassion in the world.”—A sentiment which we shall leave the reader a little time to digest.

“While we were reflecting on our current situation, the good doctor came to us. When we told him how my sister had treated us, he exclaimed, ‘Poor thing! I truly feel sorry for her;’ because this is the strongest emotion he ever shows. In fact, I’ve often heard him say that a wicked person is the greatest object of compassion in the world.” —A sentiment we’ll let the reader think about for a moment.










Chapter xii. — In which Mr. Booth concludes his story.

“The next day the doctor set out for his parsonage, which was about thirty miles distant, whither Amelia and myself accompanied him, and where we stayed with him all the time of his residence there, being almost three months.

“The next day, the doctor left for his parsonage, which was about thirty miles away. Amelia and I went with him, and we stayed with him for his entire time there, which was almost three months.”

“The situation of the parish under my good friend’s care is very pleasant. It is placed among meadows, washed by a clear trout-stream, and flanked on both sides with downs. His house, indeed, would not much attract the admiration of the virtuoso. He built it himself, and it is remarkable only for its plainness; with which the furniture so well agrees, that there is no one thing in it that may not be absolutely necessary, except books, and the prints of Mr. Hogarth, whom he calls a moral satirist.

“The parish under my good friend's care is quite lovely. It’s situated among meadows, bordered by a clear trout stream, and surrounded on both sides by hills. His house, honestly, wouldn’t catch the eye of an expert. He built it himself, and it’s only notable for its simplicity; the furniture fits in so well that there’s nothing in it that's not absolutely necessary, except for books and the prints of Mr. Hogarth, whom he refers to as a moral satirist."

“Nothing, however, can be imagined more agreeable than the life that the doctor leads in this homely house, which he calls his earthly paradise. All his parishioners, whom he treats as his children, regard him as their common father. Once in a week he constantly visits every house in the parish, examines, commends, and rebukes, as he finds occasion. This is practised likewise by his curate in his absence; and so good an effect is produced by this their care, that no quarrels ever proceed either to blows or law-suits; no beggar is to be found in the whole parish; nor did I ever hear a very profane oath all the time I lived in it.

“Nothing can be more pleasant than the life the doctor leads in this cozy house, which he calls his earthly paradise. All his parishioners, whom he treats like his own children, see him as their common father. He makes it a point to visit every home in the parish once a week, checking in, offering praise, and giving advice when necessary. His curate also follows this practice in his absence; and their care has such a positive effect that no arguments ever escalate to fights or lawsuits; there are no beggars in the entire parish; and I never heard a really profane swear word during my time there.”

“But to return from so agreeable a digression, to my own affairs, that are much less worth your attention. In the midst of all the pleasures I tasted in this sweet place and in the most delightful company, the woman and man whom I loved above all things, melancholy reflexions concerning my unhappy circumstances would often steal into my thoughts. My fortune was now reduced to less than forty pounds a-year; I had already two children, and my dear Amelia was again with child.

“But to return from such a pleasant digression to my own matters, which are far less deserving of your attention. Amid all the joys I experienced in this lovely place and in the most wonderful company, with the woman and man I loved more than anything, sad reflections about my unhappy situation would often creep into my mind. My income had now dropped to under forty pounds a year; I already had two children, and my dear Amelia was pregnant again.”

“One day the doctor found me sitting by myself, and employed in melancholy contemplations on this subject. He told me he had observed me growing of late very serious; that he knew the occasion, and neither wondered at nor blamed me. He then asked me if I had any prospect of going again into the army; if not, what scheme of life I proposed to myself?

"One day, the doctor found me sitting alone and lost in sad thoughts about this. He told me he had noticed that I had been very serious lately; that he knew the reason and didn't blame or judge me for it. He then asked if I had any plans to rejoin the army; and if not, what I intended to do with my life?"

“I told him that, as I had no powerful friends, I could have but little expectations in a military way; that I was as incapable of thinking of any other scheme, as all business required some knowledge or experience, and likewise money to set up with; of all which I was destitute.

“I told him that, since I didn't have any influential friends, I couldn't expect much in terms of a military career; that I was just as unable to think of any other plan, as all ventures needed some knowledge or experience, and also money to get started with; of which I had none.”

“‘You must know then, child,’ said the doctor, ‘that I have been thinking on this subject as well as you; for I can think, I promise you, with a pleasant countenance.’ These were his words. ‘As to the army, perhaps means might be found of getting you another commission; but my daughter seems to have a violent objection to it; and to be plain, I fancy you yourself will find no glory make you amends for your absence from her. And for my part,’ said he, ‘I never think those men wise who, for any worldly interest, forego the greatest happiness of their lives. If I mistake not,’ says he, ‘a country life, where you could be always together, would make you both much happier people.’

“‘You should know, kid,’ the doctor said, ‘that I’ve been thinking about this just like you have; I can assure you, I can think while keeping a smile on my face.’ Those were his words. ‘As for the army, there might be a way to get you another commission; but my daughter seems strongly against it; and to be honest, I think you’ll find that no amount of glory will make up for being away from her. And for my part,’ he said, ‘I don’t believe those men are wise who give up the greatest happiness of their lives for any worldly gain. If I’m not mistaken,’ he added, ‘a life in the countryside, where you could always be together, would make you both much happier.’”

“I answered, that of all things I preferred it most; and I believed Amelia was of the same opinion.

“I said that out of everything, I liked it best; and I thought Amelia felt the same way.”

“The doctor, after a little hesitation, proposed to me to turn farmer, and offered to let me his parsonage, which was then become vacant. He said it was a farm which required but little stock, and that little should not be wanting.

“The doctor, after a brief pause, suggested that I become a farmer and offered to rent me his vacant parsonage. He mentioned that it was a farm that required minimal livestock, and that little would be provided.”

“I embraced this offer very eagerly, and with great thankfulness, and immediately repaired to Amelia to communicate it to her, and to know her sentiments.

“I eagerly accepted this offer, feeling extremely grateful, and immediately went to Amelia to share the news with her and to find out what she thought.”

“Amelia received the news with the highest transports of joy; she said that her greatest fear had always been of my entring again into the army. She was so kind as to say that all stations of life were equal to her, unless as one afforded her more of my company than another. ‘And as to our children,’ said she, ‘let us breed them up to an humble fortune, and they will be contented with it; for none,’ added my angel, ‘deserve happiness, or, indeed, are capable of it, who make any particular station a necessary ingredient.’”

“Amelia reacted to the news with immense joy; she said that her biggest fear had always been me rejoining the army. She kindly mentioned that all levels of life were the same to her, as long as one allowed her to spend more time with me than another. ‘And as for our children,’ she said, ‘let's raise them to a modest lifestyle, and they will be happy with it; for no one,’ my angel added, ‘deserves happiness, or is even capable of it, who makes any specific position a necessary part of their happiness.’”

“Thus, madam, you see me degraded from my former rank in life; no longer Captain Booth, but farmer Booth at your service.

“Therefore, ma’am, you see me reduced from my previous status in life; I’m no longer Captain Booth, but farmer Booth at your service.

“During my first year’s continuance in this new scene of life, nothing, I think, remarkable happened; the history of one day would, indeed, be the history of the whole year.”

“During my first year in this new phase of life, nothing particularly noteworthy happened; the events of one day would truly sum up the entire year.”

“Well, pray then,” said Miss Matthews, “do let us hear the history of that day; I have a strange curiosity to know how you could kill your time; and do, if possible, find out the very best day you can.”

“Well, go ahead then,” said Miss Matthews, “let us hear about that day; I’m really curious to know how you spent your time; and please, if you can, find out the absolute best day you can.”

“If you command me, madam,” answered Booth, “you must yourself be accountable for the dulness of the narrative. Nay, I believe, you have imposed a very difficult task on me; for the greatest happiness is incapable of description.

“If you order me, ma’am,” Booth replied, “you have to take responsibility for how dull the story turns out. In fact, I think you’ve given me a really tough job; because the highest joy can't truly be put into words.”

“I rose then, madam—”

"I stood up then, ma'am—"

“O, the moment you waked, undoubtedly,” said Miss Matthews.

“O, the moment you woke, for sure,” said Miss Matthews.

“Usually,” said he, “between five and six.”

“Usually,” he said, “between five and six.”

“I will have no usually,” cried Miss Matthews, “you are confined to a day, and it is to be the best and happiest in the year.”

“I won't have it usually,” shouted Miss Matthews, “you’re limited to one day, and it’s supposed to be the best and happiest day of the year.”

“Nay, madam,” cries Booth, “then I must tell you the day in which Amelia was brought to bed, after a painful and dangerous labour; for that I think was the happiest day of my life.”

“Nah, ma’am,” Booth exclaims, “then I have to tell you about the day when Amelia gave birth, after a long and risky labor; because I think that was the happiest day of my life.”

“I protest,” said she, “you are become farmer Booth, indeed. What a happiness have you painted to my imagination! you put me in mind of a newspaper, where my lady such-a-one is delivered of a son, to the great joy of some illustrious family.”

“I protest,” she said, “you’ve really turned into Farmer Booth, haven’t you? What a happiness you’ve painted in my mind! You remind me of a newspaper story where some lady has a baby boy, bringing great joy to an illustrious family.”

“Why then, I do assure you, Miss Matthews,” cries Booth, “I scarce know a circumstance that distinguished one day from another. The whole was one continued series of love, health, and tranquillity. Our lives resembled a calm sea.”—

“Why then, I assure you, Miss Matthews,” Booth exclaims, “I can hardly think of a single thing that made one day different from another. It was all just one ongoing stretch of love, health, and peace. Our lives were like a calm sea.”

“The dullest of all ideas,” cries the lady.

“The most boring idea ever,” the lady exclaims.

“I know,” said he, “it must appear dull in description, for who can describe the pleasures which the morning air gives to one in perfect health; the flow of spirits which springs up from exercise; the delights which parents feel from the prattle and innocent follies of their children; the joy with which the tender smile of a wife inspires a husband; or lastly, the chearful, solid comfort which a fond couple enjoy in each other’s conversation?—All these pleasures and every other of which our situation was capable we tasted in the highest degree. Our happiness was, perhaps, too great; for fortune seemed to grow envious of it, and interposed one of the most cruel accidents that could have befallen us by robbing us of our dear friend the doctor.”

“I know,” he said, “it must sound boring when explained, because who can really describe the joy that the morning air brings to someone in good health; the rush of energy that comes from exercise; the happiness that parents feel from the chatter and innocent antics of their children; the joy that a loving smile from a wife brings to her husband; or finally, the cheerful, solid comfort that a devoted couple finds in each other’s conversations?—We felt all these pleasures and more to the fullest. Our happiness was perhaps too much; fortune seemed to become jealous of it and threw in one of the cruelest blows that could have happened to us by taking away our dear friend, the doctor.”

“I am sorry for it,” said Miss Matthews. “He was indeed a valuable man, and I never heard of his death before.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Miss Matthews said. “He was truly a valuable person, and I hadn’t known about his death until now.”

“Long may it be before any one hears of it!” cries Booth. “He is, indeed, dead to us; but will, I hope, enjoy many happy years of life. You know, madam, the obligations he had to his patron the earl; indeed, it was impossible to be once in his company without hearing of them. I am sure you will neither wonder that he was chosen to attend the young lord in his travels as his tutor, nor that the good man, however disagreeable it might be (as in fact it was) to his inclination, should comply with the earnest request of his friend and patron.

“Hopefully it’ll be a long time before anyone hears about it!” Booth exclaims. “He’s really dead to us now; but I hope he enjoys many happy years ahead. You know, ma’am, he had obligations to his patron, the earl; it was impossible to be in his presence without hearing about them. I’m sure you won’t be surprised that he was chosen to travel with the young lord as his tutor, nor that the good man, even though it was difficult for him (which it definitely was), complied with his friend and patron’s strong request.”

“By this means I was bereft not only of the best companion in the world, but of the best counsellor; a loss of which I have since felt the bitter consequence; for no greater advantage, I am convinced, can arrive to a young man, who hath any degree of understanding, than an intimate converse with one of riper years, who is not only able to advise, but who knows the manner of advising. By this means alone, youth can enjoy the benefit of the experience of age, and that at a time of life when such experience will be of more service to a man than when he hath lived long enough to acquire it of himself.

“Because of this, I lost not only the best companion in the world, but also the best advisor; a loss whose bitter consequences I have felt ever since. I am convinced that there is no greater advantage for a young man with any understanding than to have close conversations with someone older who can not only give advice but also knows how to advise effectively. Only through this can youth benefit from the experience of age at a time when that experience is more useful than when one has lived long enough to gain it on their own.”

“From want of my sage counsellor, I now fell into many errors. The first of these was in enlarging my business, by adding a farm of one hundred a year to the parsonage, in renting which I had also as bad a bargain as the doctor had before given me a good one. The consequence of which was, that whereas, at the end of the first year, I was worth upwards of fourscore pounds; at the end of the second I was near half that sum worse (as the phrase is) than nothing.

“Without my wise advisor, I made a lot of mistakes. The first was trying to expand my business by taking on a farm that cost one hundred a year in addition to the parsonage I already had. The deal I got for the farm was just as bad as the one the doctor had given me before. As a result, by the end of the first year, I was worth over eighty pounds; but by the end of the second year, I found myself almost half that amount in debt (as the saying goes).”

“A second folly I was guilty of in uniting families with the curate of the parish, who had just married, as my wife and I thought, a very good sort of a woman. We had not, however, lived one month together before I plainly perceived this good sort of a woman had taken a great prejudice against my Amelia, for which, if I had not known something of the human passions, and that high place which envy holds among them, I should not have been able to account, for, so far was my angel from having given her any cause of dislike, that she had treated her not only with civility, but kindness.

“A second mistake I made was in bringing together families with the parish curate, who had just gotten married to what my wife and I thought was a really nice woman. However, we hadn’t lived together for even a month before I clearly saw that this nice woman had developed a serious bias against my Amelia. If I hadn’t understood a bit about human emotions, especially how strong envy can be, I wouldn’t have been able to explain it. My angel had done nothing to deserve such dislike; she had treated her not just with courtesy but with kindness.”

“Besides superiority in beauty, which, I believe, all the world would have allowed to Amelia, there was another cause of this envy, which I am almost ashamed to mention, as it may well be called my greatest folly. You are to know then, madam, that from a boy I had been always fond of driving a coach, in which I valued myself on having some skill. This, perhaps, was an innocent, but I allow it to have been a childish vanity. As I had an opportunity, therefore, of buying an old coach and harness very cheap (indeed they cost me but twelve pounds), and as I considered that the same horses which drew my waggons would likewise draw my coach, I resolved on indulging myself in the purchase.

“Besides being more beautiful, which I believe everyone would agree about Amelia, there was another reason for this envy that I'm almost embarrassed to mention, as it might be considered my biggest weakness. You should know, madam, that I’ve always loved driving a coach since I was a boy, and I prided myself on having some skill in it. This was probably an innocent interest, but I admit it was a childish vanity. So, when I had the chance to buy an old coach and harness for very little money (they cost me just twelve pounds), and since I thought the same horses that pulled my wagons could also pull my coach, I decided to treat myself to the purchase.

“The consequence of setting up this poor old coach is inconceivable. Before this, as my wife and myself had very little distinguished ourselves from the other farmers and their wives, either in our dress or our way of living, they treated us as their equals; but now they began to consider us as elevating ourselves into a state of superiority, and immediately began to envy, hate, and declare war against us. The neighbouring little squires, too, were uneasy to see a poor renter become their equal in a matter in which they placed so much dignity; and, not doubting but it arose in me from the same ostentation, they began to hate me likewise, and to turn my equipage into ridicule, asserting that my horses, which were as well matched as any in the kingdom, were of different colours and sizes, with much more of that kind of wit, the only basis of which is lying.

“The outcome of bringing in this old coach is unimaginable. Before this, my wife and I didn’t really stand out from the other farmers and their wives, either in our clothing or lifestyle, so they treated us as equals. But now they started to see us as trying to rise above them, and immediately began to envy, resent, and declare war on us. The nearby small landowners were also uncomfortable seeing a lowly tenant become their equal in something they valued so highly; thinking my actions came from the same arrogance, they too began to dislike me and ridicule my carriage, claiming my perfectly matched horses varied in color and size, using more of that kind of cleverness that’s really just deceit.”

“But what will appear most surprizing to you, madam, was, that the curate’s wife, who, being lame, had more use of the coach than my Amelia (indeed she seldom went to church in any other manner), was one of my bitterest enemies on the occasion. If she had ever any dispute with Amelia, which all the sweetness of my poor girl could not sometimes avoid, she was sure to introduce with a malicious sneer, ‘Though my husband doth not keep a coach, madam.’ Nay, she took this opportunity to upbraid my wife with the loss of her fortune, alledging that some folks might have had as good pretensions to a coach as other folks, and a better too, as they brought a better fortune to their husbands, but that all people had not the art of making brick without straw.

“But what might surprise you the most, ma'am, is that the curate’s wife, who was lame and used the coach more than my Amelia (in fact, she rarely went to church any other way), was one of my harshest critics in this situation. Whenever she had any conflict with Amelia, which even my sweet girl sometimes couldn't avoid, she would always start with a spiteful jab, ‘Even though my husband doesn’t keep a coach, ma'am.’ Moreover, she took this chance to criticize my wife for losing her fortune, claiming that some people could have had just as good a right to a coach as others, and even a better right since they brought a better fortune to their husbands, but not everyone has the knack for making bricks without straw.”

“You will wonder, perhaps, madam, how I can remember such stuff, which, indeed, was a long time only matter of amusement to both Amelia and myself; but we at last experienced the mischievous nature of envy, and that it tends rather to produce tragical than comical events. My neighbours now began to conspire against me. They nicknamed me in derision, the Squire Farmer. Whatever I bought, I was sure to buy dearer, and when I sold I was obliged to sell cheaper, than any other. In fact, they were all united, and, while they every day committed trespasses on my lands with impunity, if any of my cattle escaped into their fields, I was either forced to enter into a law-suit or to make amends fourfold for the damage sustained.

“You might be wondering, ma'am, how I can remember all this stuff, which was just a source of entertainment for both Amelia and me for a long time; but we eventually faced the nasty side of envy, and how it tends to create more tragic than funny situations. My neighbors started plotting against me. They mockingly called me the Squire Farmer. No matter what I bought, I always ended up paying more, and when I sold, I had to sell for less than anyone else. In fact, they all banded together, and while they regularly trespassed on my land without consequence, if any of my animals wandered into their fields, I was either forced into a lawsuit or had to compensate them four times for any damage caused.

“The consequences of all this could be no other than that ruin which ensued. Without tiring you with particulars, before the end of four years I became involved in debt near three hundred pounds more than the value of all my effects. My landlord seized my stock for rent, and, to avoid immediate confinement in prison, I was forced to leave the country with all that I hold dear in the world, my wife and my poor little family.

“The consequences of all this could only lead to the ruin that followed. Without boring you with details, by the end of four years, I found myself in debt nearly three hundred pounds more than the worth of everything I owned. My landlord took my belongings for unpaid rent, and to avoid being thrown in prison, I had to leave the country with everything I hold dear in the world—my wife and my little family.”

“In this condition I arrived in town five or six days ago. I had just taken a lodging in the verge of the court, and had writ my dear Amelia word where she might find me, when she had settled her affairs in the best manner she could. That very evening, as I was returning home from a coffee-house, a fray happening in the street, I endeavoured to assist the injured party, when I was seized by the watch, and, after being confined all night in the round-house, was conveyed in the morning before a justice of peace, who committed me hither; where I should probably have starved, had I not from your hands found a most unaccountable preservation.—And here, give me leave to assure you, my dear Miss Matthews, that, whatever advantage I may have reaped from your misfortune, I sincerely lament it; nor would I have purchased any relief to myself at the price of seeing you in this dreadful place.”

“In this condition, I arrived in town five or six days ago. I had just taken a place to stay near the court and had written to my dear Amelia, letting her know where she could find me once she settled her affairs as best as she could. That very evening, on my way home from a coffee shop, a fight broke out in the street. I tried to help the injured party when I was seized by the watch. After being locked up all night in the holding cell, I was taken in the morning before a justice of the peace, who sent me here. I probably would have starved if it weren't for your amazing help. And let me assure you, my dear Miss Matthews, that no matter what benefit I may have gained from your misfortune, I'm truly sorry for it; I wouldn't have wanted to gain any relief at the cost of seeing you in this terrible place.”

He spake these last words with great tenderness; for he was a man of consummate good nature, and had formerly had much affection for this young lady; indeed, more than the generality of people are capable of entertaining for any person whatsoever.

He said these last words with great kindness because he was a genuinely good-hearted man and had once had a lot of affection for this young lady; in fact, more than most people are capable of feeling for anyone at all.










BOOK IV.










Chapter i. — Containing very mysterious matter.

Miss Matthews did not in the least fall short of Mr. Booth in expressions of tenderness. Her eyes, the most eloquent orators on such occasions, exerted their utmost force; and at the conclusion of his speech she cast a look as languishingly sweet as ever Cleopatra gave to Antony. In real fact, this Mr. Booth had been her first love, and had made those impressions on her young heart, which the learned in this branch of philosophy affirm, and perhaps truly, are never to be eradicated.

Miss Matthews didn’t hold back at all when it came to showing affection toward Mr. Booth. Her eyes, the most expressive speakers in these moments, conveyed all their emotion; and by the end of his speech, she gave a look as achingly sweet as any Cleopatra ever gave to Antony. In reality, Mr. Booth was her first love and had made impressions on her young heart that experts in this area of study suggest, and probably correctly, can never be fully erased.

When Booth had finished his story a silence ensued of some minutes; an interval which the painter would describe much better than the writer. Some readers may, however, be able to make pretty pertinent conjectures by what I have said above, especially when they are told that Miss Matthews broke the silence by a sigh, and cried, “Why is Mr. Booth unwilling to allow me the happiness of thinking my misfortunes have been of some little advantage to him? sure the happy Amelia would not be so selfish to envy me that pleasure. No; not if she was as much the fondest as she is the happiest of women.” “Good heavens! madam,” said he, “do you call my poor Amelia the happiest of women?” “Indeed I do,” answered she briskly. “O Mr. Booth! there is a speck of white in her fortune, which, when it falls to the lot of a sensible woman, makes her full amends for all the crosses which can attend her. Perhaps she may not be sensible of it; but if it had been my blest fate—O Mr. Booth! could I have thought, when we were first acquainted, that the most agreeable man in the world had been capable of making the kind, the tender, the affectionate husband—happy Amelia, in those days, was unknown; Heaven had not then given her a prospect of the happiness it intended her; but yet it did intend it her; for sure there is a fatality in the affairs of love; and the more I reflect on my own life, the more I am convinced of it.—O heavens! how a thousand little circumstances crowd into my mind! When you first marched into our town, you had then the colours in your hand; as you passed under the window where I stood, my glove, by accident, dropt into the street; you stoopt, took up my glove, and, putting it upon the spike belonging to your colours, lifted it up to the window. Upon this a young lady who stood by said, ‘So, miss, the young officer hath accepted your challenge.’ I blushed then, and I blush now, when I confess to you I thought you the prettiest young fellow I had ever seen; and, upon my soul, I believe you was then the prettiest fellow in the world.” Booth here made a low bow, and cried, “O dear madam, how ignorant was I of my own happiness!” “Would you really have thought so?” answered she. “However, there is some politeness if there be no sincerity in what you say.”—Here the governor of the enchanted castle interrupted them, and, entering the room without any ceremony, acquainted the lady and gentleman that it was locking-up time; and, addressing Booth by the name of captain, asked him if he would not please to have a bed; adding, that he might have one in the next room to the lady, but that it would come dear; for that he never let a bed in that room under a guinea, nor could he afford it cheaper to his father.

When Booth finished his story, there was a silence that lasted a few minutes—an interval that the painter could describe much better than the writer. Some readers might guess quite accurately from what I've mentioned above, especially when they hear that Miss Matthews broke the silence with a sigh and exclaimed, “Why is Mr. Booth unwilling to let me believe my misfortunes have brought him some small advantage? Surely, the happy Amelia wouldn’t be so selfish as to envy me that joy. No, not if she were as loving as she is fortunate.” “Good heavens! Madam,” he replied, “do you really call my poor Amelia the happiest of women?” “I truly do,” she said quickly. “Oh Mr. Booth! There’s a glimmer of good fortune in her life that, when it falls to a sensible woman, makes up for all the troubles she might face. Maybe she’s not aware of it; but if it had been my blessed fate—oh Mr. Booth! Could I have thought, when we first met, that the most charming man in the world could have been the kind, tender, affectionate husband? Happy Amelia was unknown back then; Heaven hadn’t yet shown her the happiness it intended for her. But it did plan it for her, because surely, there’s a fate in love. And the more I think about my own life, the more convinced I am of it. Oh heavens! So many little moments flood my mind! When you first marched into our town, you held the colors; as you passed under the window where I stood, my glove accidentally fell into the street. You bent down, picked up my glove, and, placing it on the spike of your colors, lifted it to the window. Then a young lady next to me said, ‘Well, miss, the young officer has accepted your challenge.’ I blushed then, and I still blush now as I confess to you that I thought you were the prettiest young man I had ever seen; and, I swear, you were the prettiest fellow in the world then.” Booth made a low bow and said, “Oh dear madam, how unaware I was of my own happiness!” “Would you really have thought so?” she replied. “Well, at least there’s some politeness in what you say, even if there’s no sincerity.” Just then, the governor of the enchanted castle interrupted them, entering the room without any formalities, and informed the lady and gentleman that it was time to lock up. Addressing Booth as captain, he asked if he would like a bed, adding that he could have one in the room next to the lady, but it would be costly because he never rented that room for less than a guinea, nor could he offer it cheaper to his father.

No answer was made to this proposal; but Miss Matthews, who had already learnt some of the ways of the house, said she believed Mr. Booth would like to drink a glass of something; upon which the governor immediately trumpeted forth the praises of his rack-punch, and, without waiting for any farther commands, presently produced a large bowl of that liquor.

No one responded to this suggestion; however, Miss Matthews, who had already picked up on some of the household habits, mentioned that she thought Mr. Booth would enjoy a drink. The governor then enthusiastically praised his rack-punch and, without waiting for any further instructions, quickly brought out a large bowl of it.

The governor, having recommended the goodness of his punch by a hearty draught, began to revive the other matter, saying that he was just going to bed, and must first lock up.—“But suppose,” said Miss Matthews, with a smile, “the captain and I should have a mind to sit up all night.”—“With all my heart,” said the governor; “but I expect a consideration for those matters. For my part, I don’t enquire into what doth not concern me; but single and double are two things. If I lock up double I expect half a guinea, and I’m sure the captain cannot think that’s out of the way; it is but the price of a bagnio.”

The governor, having praised the quality of his punch with a hearty drink, started to bring up another topic, saying he was about to go to bed and needed to secure everything first. “But what if,” Miss Matthews said with a smile, “the captain and I want to stay up all night?” “By all means,” replied the governor; “but I expect some consideration in these matters. Personally, I don’t pry into things that don’t concern me; but single and double are two different things. If I lock up double, I expect half a guinea, and I'm sure the captain doesn't think that's unreasonable; it's just the price for a room.”

Miss Matthews’s face became the colour of scarlet at those words. However, she mustered up her spirits, and, turning to Booth, said, “What say you, captain? for my own part, I had never less inclination to sleep; which hath the greater charms for you, the punch or the pillow?”—“I hope, madam,” answered Booth, “you have a better opinion of me than to doubt my preferring Miss Matthews’s conversation to either.”—“I assure you,” replied she, “it is no compliment to you to say I prefer yours to sleep at this time.”

Miss Matthews's face turned bright red at those words. However, she gathered her courage and turned to Booth, saying, “What do you think, captain? For my part, I've never felt less inclined to sleep; which do you find more appealing, the punch or the pillow?”—“I hope, madam,” Booth replied, “you think better of me than to doubt that I prefer Miss Matthews's conversation to either.” —“I assure you,” she said, “it's not a compliment to say I prefer talking to you over sleeping right now.”

The governor, then, having received his fee, departed; and, turning the key, left the gentleman and the lady to themselves.

The governor, having received his payment, left; and, locking the door, left the man and the woman alone.

In imitation of him we will lock up likewise a scene which we do not think proper to expose to the eyes of the public. If any over-curious readers should be disappointed on this occasion, we will recommend such readers to the apologies with which certain gay ladies have lately been pleased to oblige the world, where they will possibly find everything recorded that past at this interval.

In the same way he did, we will also cover a scene that we don’t think is suitable for public viewing. If any overly curious readers feel let down this time, we suggest they check out the apologies some lively ladies have recently shared with the world, where they might find everything that happened during this time.

But, though we decline painting the scene, it is not our intention to conceal from the world the frailty of Mr. Booth, or of his fair partner, who certainly past that evening in a manner inconsistent with the strict rules of virtue and chastity.

But, even though we choose not to描绘the scene, we don't intend to hide from the world the weaknesses of Mr. Booth or his lovely partner, who certainly behaved that evening in a way that didn’t align with the strict standards of virtue and chastity.

To say the truth, we are much more concerned for the behaviour of the gentleman than of the lady, not only for his sake, but for the sake of the best woman in the world, whom we should be sorry to consider as yoked to a man of no worth nor honour. We desire, therefore, the good-natured and candid reader will be pleased to weigh attentively the several unlucky circumstances which concurred so critically, that Fortune seemed to have used her utmost endeavours to ensnare poor Booth’s constancy. Let the reader set before his eyes a fine young woman, in a manner, a first love, conferring obligations and using every art to soften, to allure, to win, and to enflame; let him consider the time and place; let him remember that Mr. Booth was a young fellow in the highest vigour of life; and, lastly, let him add one single circumstance, that the parties were alone together; and then, if he will not acquit the defendant, he must be convicted, for I have nothing more to say in his defence.

To be honest, we care much more about the behavior of the gentleman than the lady, not just for his sake, but also for the sake of the best woman in the world, whom we would regret associating with a man who has no worth or honor. We hope the good-natured and open-minded reader will carefully consider the unfortunate circumstances that came together so critically that it seemed Fortune did everything she could to trap poor Booth's loyalty. Imagine a beautiful young woman, in a way, a first love, creating obligations and using all her charm to soften, entice, win, and ignite passion; think about the time and place; remember that Mr. Booth was a young man in the prime of his life; and lastly, consider that the two were alone together; and then, if he doesn’t absolve the defendant, he must be guilty, because I have nothing more to say in his defense.










Chapter ii. — The latter part of which we expect will please our reader better than the former.

A whole week did our lady and gentleman live in this criminal conversation, in which the happiness of the former was much more perfect than that of the latter; for, though the charms of Miss Matthews, and her excessive endearments, sometimes lulled every thought in the sweet lethargy of pleasure, yet in the intervals of his fits his virtue alarmed and roused him, and brought the image of poor injured Amelia to haunt and torment him. In fact, if we regard this world only, it is the interest of every man to be either perfectly good or completely bad. He had better destroy his conscience than gently wound it. The many bitter reflections which every bad action costs a mind in which there are any remains of goodness are not to be compensated by the highest pleasures which such an action can produce.

A whole week went by as our lady and gentleman engaged in this illicit affair, where the happiness of the former was far greater than that of the latter. Although Miss Matthews’ charms and her excessive affection sometimes lulled him into a sweet state of pleasure, during the moments of his clarity, his conscience would kick in and remind him of poor, wronged Amelia, haunting and tormenting him. In fact, if we look at this world alone, it’s in every man’s best interest to be either completely good or entirely bad. It’s better to destroy one’s conscience than to gently injure it. The many painful realizations that follow every bad action for someone who still has a sense of goodness cannot be outweighed by the greatest pleasures such actions might bring.

So it happened to Mr. Booth. Repentance never failed to follow his transgressions; and yet so perverse is our judgment, and so slippery is the descent of vice when once we are entered into it, the same crime which he now repented of became a reason for doing that which was to cause his future repentance; and he continued to sin on because he had begun. His repentance, however, returned still heavier and heavier, till, at last, it flung him into a melancholy, which Miss Matthews plainly perceived, and at which she could not avoid expressing some resentment in obscure hints and ironical compliments on Amelia’s superiority to her whole sex, who could not cloy a gay young fellow by many years’ possession. She would then repeat the compliments which others had made to her own beauty, and could not forbear once crying out, “Upon my soul, my dear Billy, I believe the chief disadvantage on my side is my superior fondness; for love, in the minds of men, hath one quality, at least, of a fever, which is to prefer coldness in the object. Confess, dear Will, is there not something vastly refreshing in the cool air of a prude?” Booth fetched a deep sigh, and begged her never more to mention Amelia’s name. “O Will,” cries she, “did that request proceed from the motive I could wish, I should be the happiest of womankind.”—“You would not, sure, madam,” said Booth, “desire a sacrifice which I must be a villain to make to any?”—“Desire!” answered she, “are there any bounds to the desires of love? have not I been sacrificed? hath not my first love been torn from my bleeding heart? I claim a prior right. As for sacrifices, I can make them too, and would sacrifice the whole world at the least call of my love.”

So it happened to Mr. Booth. Repentance always followed his mistakes; yet, our judgment is so twisted, and the slide into vice is so easy once we're in it, that the same crime he now regretted became a reason for him to commit actions that would lead to more future regret. He kept on sinning simply because he had already started. His remorse, however, became heavier and heavier until it finally plunged him into a depression, which Miss Matthews clearly noticed, and she couldn’t help but express some annoyance through vague hints and sarcastic compliments about Amelia’s superiority over other women, who couldn’t keep a fun young guy around for long. She would then repeat the compliments others had given her about her own beauty and couldn’t help but exclaim, “Honestly, my dear Billy, I believe my main disadvantage is my intense affection; because love, in the minds of men, has one trait like a fever, which is that they prefer coolness in the object. Come on, dear Will, isn’t there something incredibly refreshing about the cool demeanor of a prude?” Booth sighed deeply and asked her never to mention Amelia’s name again. “Oh Will,” she exclaimed, “if that request came from the reason I wish it did, I would be the happiest woman alive.” —“Surely you wouldn’t want a sacrifice I would have to be a villain to make?” said Booth. —“Desire!” she replied, “are there any limits to love's desires? Have I not been sacrificed? Hasn't my first love been ripped from my bleeding heart? I claim a prior right. As for sacrifices, I can make them too, and I would give up the whole world at the slightest call of my love.”

Here she delivered a letter to Booth, which she had received within an hour, the contents of which were these:—

Here she handed a letter to Booth, which she had gotten just an hour ago, and its contents were as follows:—

“DEAREST MADAM,—Those only who truly know what love is, can have any conception of the horrors I felt at hearing of your confinement at my arrival in town, which was this morning. I immediately sent my lawyer to enquire into the particulars, who brought me the agreeable news that the man, whose heart’s blood ought not to be valued at the rate of a single hair of yours, is entirely out of all danger, and that you might be admitted to bail. I presently ordered him to go with two of my tradesmen, who are to be bound in any sum for your appearance, if he should be mean enough to prosecute you. Though you may expect my attorney with you soon, I would not delay sending this, as I hope the news will be agreeable to you. My chariot will attend at the same time to carry you wherever you please. You may easily guess what a violence I have done to myself in not waiting on you in person; but I, who know your delicacy, feared it might offend, and that you might think me ungenerous enough to hope from your distresses that happiness which I am resolved to owe to your free gift alone, when your good nature shall induce you to bestow on me what no man living can merit. I beg you will pardon all the contents of this hasty letter, and do me the honour of believing me, Dearest madam,

“DEAREST MADAM,—Only those who truly understand love can grasp the horror I felt upon hearing about your situation when I arrived in town this morning. I immediately sent my lawyer to look into the details, and he brought me the good news that the man, whose life is worth far less than a single strand of your hair, is completely out of danger, and that you can be released on bail. I promptly instructed him to go with two of my associates, who are willing to stand as surety for your appearance, in case he should be petty enough to pursue charges against you. Although you can expect my attorney to be with you soon, I didn’t want to wait to send this message, as I hope it will bring you some comfort. My carriage will be ready at the same time to take you wherever you wish. You can imagine how hard it was for me not to see you in person; however, knowing your sensitivity, I feared it might upset you, and that you might think I was selfishly hoping to find happiness in your troubles when I am determined to only seek it through your voluntary kindness, when your generosity leads you to grant me what no man deserves. I hope you will forgive all the points in this hurried letter, and allow me the honor of being, Dearest madam,

Your most passionate admirer,

Your biggest fan,

and most obedient humble servant,

your most obedient humble servant,

DAMON.”

Booth thought he had somewhere before seen the same hand, but in his present hurry of spirits could not recollect whose it was, nor did the lady give him any time for reflection; for he had scarce read the letter when she produced a little bit of paper and cried out, “Here, sir, here are the contents which he fears will offend me.” She then put a bank-bill of a hundred pounds into Mr. Booth’s hands, and asked him with a smile if he did not think she had reason to be offended with so much insolence?

Booth thought he had seen that hand somewhere before, but in his current rush of emotions, he couldn't remember whose it was, and the lady didn’t give him any time to think; he had barely finished reading the letter when she pulled out a small piece of paper and exclaimed, “Here, sir, these are the contents he worries will upset me.” She then handed Mr. Booth a banknote for a hundred pounds and asked him with a smile if he didn’t think she had a good reason to be offended by such arrogance?

Before Booth could return any answer the governor arrived, and introduced Mr. Rogers the attorney, who acquainted the lady that he had brought her discharge from her confinement, and that a chariot waited at the door to attend her wherever she pleased.

Before Booth could respond, the governor arrived and introduced Mr. Rogers, the attorney, who informed the lady that he had brought her release from confinement and that a carriage was waiting at the door to take her wherever she wanted.

She received the discharge from Mr. Rogers, and said she was very much obliged to the gentleman who employed him, but that she would not make use of the chariot, as she had no notion of leaving that wretched place in a triumphant manner; in which resolution, when the attorney found her obstinate, he withdrew, as did the governor, with many bows and as many ladyships.

She got the discharge from Mr. Rogers and said she was very grateful to the gentleman who hired him, but she wouldn’t use the carriage because she didn’t want to leave that miserable place in a glamorous way; when the attorney saw she was stubborn, he left, along with the governor, both giving many bows and as many “ladyships.”

They were no sooner gone than Booth asked the lady why she would refuse the chariot of a gentleman who had behaved with such excessive respect? She looked earnestly upon him, and cried, “How unkind is that question! do you imagine I would go and leave you in such a situation? thou knowest but little of Calista. Why, do you think I would accept this hundred pounds from a man I dislike, unless it was to be serviceable to the man I love? I insist on your taking it as your own and using whatever you want of it.”

As soon as they left, Booth asked the lady why she would turn down the ride from a gentleman who had shown her such great respect. She looked at him seriously and said, “How unkind is that question! Do you really think I would just go and leave you in this situation? You know very little about me. Do you think I would accept this hundred pounds from someone I dislike unless it was to help the man I love? I insist you take it for yourself and use whatever you need from it.”

Booth protested in the solemnest manner that he would not touch a shilling of it, saying, he had already received too many obligations at her hands, and more than ever he should be able, he feared, to repay. “How unkind,” answered she, “is every word you say, why will you mention obligations? love never confers any. It doth everything for its own sake. I am not therefore obliged to the man whose passion makes him generous; for I feel how inconsiderable the whole world would appear to me if I could throw it after my heart.”

Booth insisted very seriously that he wouldn’t accept a single penny of it, saying he had already received too many favors from her and feared he wouldn’t be able to repay them. “How unkind,” she replied, “is everything you say. Why do you bring up favors? Love doesn’t impose any. It does everything for its own sake. So I don’t owe the man whose love makes him generous; I see how insignificant the whole world would seem to me if I could just chase after my heart.”

Much more of this kind past, she still pressing the bank-note upon him, and he as absolutely refusing, till Booth left the lady to dress herself, and went to walk in the area of the prison.

Much more of this went on, with her continuing to insist on giving him the banknote, and him completely refusing, until Booth left the woman to get ready and went to take a walk in the prison yard.

Miss Matthews now applied to the governor to know by what means she might procure the captain his liberty. The governor answered, “As he cannot get bail, it will be a difficult matter; and money to be sure there must be; for people no doubt expect to touch on these occasions. When prisoners have not wherewithal as the law requires to entitle themselves to justice, why they must be beholden to other people to give them their liberty; and people will not, to be sure, suffer others to be beholden to them for nothing, whereof there is good reason; for how should we all live if it was not for these things?” “Well, well,” said she, “and how much will it cost?” “How much!” answered he,—“How much!—why, let me see.”—Here he hesitated some time, and then answered “That for five guineas he would undertake to procure the captain his discharge. “That being the sum which he computed to remain in the lady’s pocket; for, as to the gentleman’s, he had long been acquainted with the emptiness of it.

Miss Matthews now approached the governor to find out how she could get the captain his freedom. The governor replied, “Since he can’t get bail, it’s going to be tough; and there definitely needs to be money involved; people usually expect to be compensated in these situations. When prisoners don’t have what the law requires to secure their rights, they have to rely on others to help them gain their freedom; and understandably, people won’t let others depend on them for nothing—there's a good reason for that, because how would we all manage if that were the case?” “Well,” she said, “how much is it going to cost?” “How much!” he exclaimed, “Let me think a moment.” He hesitated for a while and then said, “For five guineas, I will handle getting the captain released.” “That’s the amount I think the lady has on her, because I’ve long known that the gentleman’s pockets are empty.”

Miss Matthews, to whom money was as dirt (indeed she may be thought not to have known the value of it), delivered him the bank-bill, and bid him get it changed; for if the whole, says she, will procure him his liberty, he shall have it this evening.

Miss Matthews, who thought money was worthless (in fact, she seemed to not understand its value at all), handed him the banknote and told him to get it exchanged; because if the entire amount, she said, could buy him his freedom, he would have it by this evening.

“The whole, madam!” answered the governor, as soon as he had recovered his breath, for it almost forsook him at the sight of the black word hundred—“No, no; there might be people indeed—but I am not one of those. A hundred! no, nor nothing like it.—As for myself, as I said, I will be content with five guineas, and I am sure that’s little enough. What other people will expect I cannot exactly say. To be sure his worship’s clerk will expect to touch pretty handsomely; as for his worship himself, he never touches anything, that is, not to speak of; but then the constable will expect something, and the watchman must have something, and the lawyers on both sides, they must have their fees for finishing.”—“Well,” said she, “I leave all to you. If it costs me twenty pounds I will have him discharged this afternoon.—But you must give his discharge into my hands without letting the captain know anything of the matter.”

“The whole thing, madam!” replied the governor, as soon as he caught his breath, nearly losing it at the sight of the intimidating figure of a hundred—“No, no; there might be others, but I’m not one of them. A hundred! No way, not even close. As for me, like I said, I’ll be satisfied with five guineas, and I’m sure that’s barely enough. I can’t really say what others will expect. Of course, his worship’s clerk will want to get a nice amount; as for his worship himself, he rarely takes anything, at least not directly; but the constable will expect some, and the watchman must get something, and both sides’ lawyers will need their fees for wrapping things up.” —“Well,” she said, “I leave it all to you. If it costs me twenty pounds, I want him released this afternoon.—But you must hand his release over to me without letting the captain know anything about it.”

The governor promised to obey her commands in every particular; nay, he was so very industrious, that, though dinner was just then coming upon the table, at her earnest request he set out immediately on the purpose, and went as he said in pursuit of the lawyer.

The governor promised to follow her instructions in every detail; in fact, he was so eager that, even though dinner was being served, he immediately left at her strong request and went, as he said, to look for the lawyer.

All the other company assembled at table as usual, where poor Booth was the only person out of spirits. This was imputed by all present to a wrong cause; nay, Miss Matthews herself either could not or would not suspect that there was anything deeper than the despair of being speedily discharged that lay heavy on his mind.

All the other people in the company gathered at the table as usual, while poor Booth was the only one feeling down. Everyone assumed he was upset for the wrong reasons; in fact, Miss Matthews herself either couldn't or wouldn't realize that there was something deeper bothering him than just the fear of getting fired soon.

However, the mirth of the rest, and a pretty liberal quantity of punch, which he swallowed after dinner (for Miss Matthews had ordered a very large bowl at her own expense to entertain the good company at her farewell), so far exhilarated his spirits, that when the young lady and he retired to their tea he had all the marks of gayety in his countenance, and his eyes sparkled with good humour.

However, the laughter of the others, along with a generous amount of punch he drank after dinner (since Miss Matthews had ordered a big bowl at her own expense to entertain her friends at her farewell), really lifted his spirits. By the time he and the young lady went for tea, his face showed all the signs of joy, and his eyes sparkled with good humor.

The gentleman and lady had spent about two hours in tea and conversation, when the governor returned, and privately delivered to the lady the discharge for her friend, and the sum of eighty-two pounds five shillings; the rest having been, he said, disbursed in the business, of which he was ready at any time to render an exact account.

The man and woman had spent about two hours enjoying tea and chatting when the governor came back and privately handed the woman the release for her friend, along with a payment of eighty-two pounds and five shillings. He mentioned that the rest had been used for expenses related to the matter, and he was ready to provide an exact account whenever needed.

Miss Matthews being again alone with Mr. Booth, she put the discharge into his hands, desiring him to ask her no questions; and adding, “I think, sir, we have neither of us now anything more to do at this place.” She then summoned the governor, and ordered a bill of that day’s expense, for long scores were not usual there; and at the same time ordered a hackney coach, without having yet determined whither she would go, but fully determined she was, wherever she went, to take Mr. Booth with her.

Miss Matthews was once again alone with Mr. Booth, so she handed him the discharge and asked him not to ask any questions. She added, “I think, sir, we both have nothing more to do here.” She then called for the governor and requested a bill of that day’s expenses, since long bills weren’t common there. At the same time, she ordered a cab, although she hadn’t decided where she would go yet; she was completely set on taking Mr. Booth with her, no matter where it was.

The governor was now approaching with a long roll of paper, when a faint voice was heard to cry out hastily, “Where is he?”—and presently a female spectre, all pale and breathless, rushed into the room, and fell into Mr. Booth’s arms, where she immediately fainted away.

The governor was now coming over with a long roll of paper when a weak voice quickly shouted, “Where is he?”—and soon a pale, breathless woman rushed into the room and collapsed into Mr. Booth’s arms, where she instantly fainted.

Booth made a shift to support his lovely burden; though he was himself in a condition very little different from hers. Miss Matthews likewise, who presently recollected the face of Amelia, was struck motionless with the surprize, nay, the governor himself, though not easily moved at sights of horror, stood aghast, and neither offered to speak nor stir.

Booth adjusted his hold on his beautiful burden, even though he was in a situation not much better than hers. Miss Matthews, who soon remembered Amelia's face, was frozen in shock; even the governor, who usually wasn't easily shaken by horrifying sights, was taken aback and didn't say a word or move.

Happily for Amelia, the governess of the mansions had, out of curiosity, followed her into the room, and was the only useful person present on this occasion: she immediately called for water, and ran to the lady’s assistance, fell to loosening her stays, and performed all the offices proper at such a season; which had so good an effect, that Amelia soon recovered the disorder which the violent agitation of her spirits had caused, and found herself alive and awake in her husband’s arms.

Happily for Amelia, the governess of the mansion had, out of curiosity, followed her into the room and was the only helpful person there at that moment: she immediately called for water, rushed to the lady’s aid, loosened her corset, and took care of everything needed during such a time; this had such a positive effect that Amelia soon recovered from the distress caused by her intense emotions and found herself alert and awake in her husband's arms.

Some tender caresses and a soft whisper or two passed privately between Booth and his lady; nor was it without great difficulty that poor Amelia put some restraint on her fondness in a place so improper for a tender interview. She now cast her eyes round the room, and, fixing them on Miss Matthews, who stood like a statue, she soon recollected her, and, addressing her by her name, said, “Sure, madam, I cannot be mistaken in those features; though meeting you here might almost make me suspect my memory.”

Some gentle touches and a few soft whispers were exchanged privately between Booth and his lady; nor was it without great difficulty that poor Amelia kept her affection in check in such an inappropriate setting for a romantic moment. She looked around the room and, focusing on Miss Matthews, who was standing still like a statue, she quickly remembered her, and, addressing her by her name, said, “I’m sure, madam, I can't be mistaken about those features; although running into you here might almost make me doubt my memory.”

Miss Matthews’s face was now all covered with scarlet. The reader may easily believe she was on no account pleased with Amelia’s presence; indeed, she expected from her some of those insults of which virtuous women are generally so liberal to a frail sister: but she was mistaken; Amelia was not one

Miss Matthews’s face was now completely red. It's easy to think she was definitely not happy with Amelia being there; in fact, she expected to get some of those insults that good women usually throw at a struggling sister. But she was wrong; Amelia was not one of those.

     Who thought the nation ne’er would thrive,
     Till all the whores were burnt alive.
     Who thought the nation would never succeed,
     Until all the whores were burned alive.

Her virtue could support itself with its own intrinsic worth, without borrowing any assistance from the vices of other women; and she considered their natural infirmities as the objects of pity, not of contempt or abhorrence.

Her virtue stood strong on its own, without needing to lean on the faults of other women; she viewed their natural weaknesses as reasons for compassion, not disdain or horror.

When Amelia therefore perceived the visible confusion in Miss Matthews she presently called to remembrance some stories which she had imperfectly heard; for, as she was not naturally attentive to scandal, and had kept very little company since her return to England, she was far from being a mistress of the lady’s whole history. However, she had heard enough to impute her confusion to the right cause; she advanced to her, and told her, she was extremely sorry to meet her in such a place, but hoped that no very great misfortune was the occasion of it.

When Amelia saw the clear confusion on Miss Matthews' face, she quickly remembered some stories she had only partially heard. Since she wasn't naturally drawn to gossip and had spent little time socializing since returning to England, she didn’t know the full details of the lady's story. However, she had heard enough to guess what was causing her confusion. She approached her and said that she was very sorry to see her in such a situation, but she hoped that it wasn’t due to anything too serious.

Miss Matthews began, by degrees, to recover her spirits. She answered, with a reserved air, “I am much obliged to you, madam, for your concern; we are all liable to misfortunes in this world. Indeed, I know not why I should be much ashamed of being in any place where I am in such good company.”

Miss Matthews gradually started to feel better. She responded, with a reserved demeanor, “Thank you for your concern, ma'am; we all face misfortunes in this world. Honestly, I don't see why I should feel ashamed for being in a place where I'm surrounded by such good company.”

Here Booth interposed. He had before acquainted Amelia in a whisper that his confinement was at an end. “The unfortunate accident, my dear,” said he, “which brought this young lady to this melancholy place is entirely determined; and she is now as absolutely at her liberty as myself.”

Here Booth interrupted. He had already told Amelia in a whisper that his confinement was over. “The unfortunate accident, my dear,” he said, “that brought this young lady to this sad place is completely resolved; and she is now just as free as I am.”

Amelia, imputing the extreme coldness and reserve of the lady to the cause already mentioned, advanced still more and more in proportion as she drew back; till the governor, who had withdrawn some time, returned, and acquainted Miss Matthews that her coach was at the door; upon which the company soon separated. Amelia and Booth went together in Amelia’s coach, and poor Miss Matthews was obliged to retire alone, after having satisfied the demands of the governor, which in one day only had amounted to a pretty considerable sum; for he, with great dexterity, proportioned the bills to the abilities of his guests.

Amelia, thinking the lady's extreme coldness and distance was due to the reason already mentioned, moved closer as the lady pulled away. Eventually, the governor, who had stepped out for a while, came back and informed Miss Matthews that her coach was ready. With that, the group quickly broke up. Amelia and Booth got into Amelia’s coach together, while poor Miss Matthews had to leave alone after meeting the governor's demands, which in just one day had added up to quite a hefty amount; he skillfully adjusted the bills according to his guests' capabilities.

It may seem, perhaps, wonderful to some readers, that Miss Matthews should have maintained that cold reserve towards Amelia, so as barely to keep within the rules of civility, instead of embracing an opportunity which seemed to offer of gaining some degree of intimacy with a wife whose husband she was so fond of; but, besides that her spirits were entirely disconcerted by so sudden and unexpected a disappointment; and besides the extreme horrors which she conceived at the presence of her rival, there is, I believe, something so outrageously suspicious in the nature of all vice, especially when joined with any great degree of pride, that the eyes of those whom we imagine privy to our failings are intolerable to us, and we are apt to aggravate their opinions to our disadvantage far beyond the reality.

It might seem surprising to some readers that Miss Matthews kept such a cold distance from Amelia, barely sticking to polite behavior instead of taking the chance to become closer to a wife of a man she cared for so much. However, apart from her spirits being completely thrown off by such a sudden and unexpected letdown, and the intense dread she felt at the thought of her rival being present, I believe there’s something incredibly suspicious about all vice, especially when mixed with a strong sense of pride. The sight of those we think know about our faults can be unbearable, and we tend to exaggerate their perceptions to our own detriment far more than is actually true.










Chapter iii. — Containing wise observations of the author, and other matters.

There is nothing more difficult than to lay down any fixed and certain rules for happiness; or indeed to judge with any precision of the happiness of others from the knowledge of external circumstances. There is sometimes a little speck of black in the brightest and gayest colours of fortune, which contaminates and deadens the whole. On the contrary, when all without looks dark and dismal, there is often a secret ray of light within the mind, which turns everything to real joy and gladness.

There’s nothing harder than setting definite and reliable guidelines for happiness, or even accurately judging the happiness of others based on what we see from the outside. Sometimes there’s a tiny flaw in the brightest and most colorful aspects of life that can taint and dull everything. On the flip side, when everything around us seems dark and gloomy, there's often a hidden spark of light within our minds that can transform it all into genuine joy and happiness.

I have in the course of my life seen many occasions to make this observation, and Mr. Booth was at present a very pregnant instance of its truth. He was just delivered from a prison, and in the possession of his beloved wife and children; and (which might be imagined greatly to augment his joy) fortune had done all this for him within an hour, without giving him the least warning or reasonable expectation of the strange reverse in his circumstances; and yet it is certain that there were very few men in the world more seriously miserable than he was at this instant. A deep melancholy seized his mind, and cold damp sweats overspread his person, so that he was scarce animated; and poor Amelia, instead of a fond warm husband, bestowed her caresses on a dull lifeless lump of clay. He endeavoured, however, at first, as much as possible, to conceal what he felt, and attempted what is the hardest of all tasks, to act the part of a happy man; but he found no supply of spirits to carry on this deceit, and would have probably sunk under his attempt, had not poor Amelia’s simplicity helped him to another fallacy, in which he had much better success.

I have seen many instances in my life that support this observation, and Mr. Booth is a very clear example of it right now. He had just been released from prison and was with his beloved wife and children; and (which might seem to increase his joy) fortune had done all this for him within an hour, without giving him any warning or reasonable expectation of such a sudden change in his situation; yet it is true that there were very few men in the world more seriously miserable than he was at that moment. A deep sadness overwhelmed him, and cold, damp sweats covered his body, leaving him feeling almost lifeless; and poor Amelia, instead of having a loving, warm husband, ended up comforting a dull, lifeless shell. He tried, at first, to hide what he was feeling and attempted the hardest task of all: pretending to be a happy man. But he found no energy to maintain this act and would have likely succumbed to his efforts if not for poor Amelia's simplicity, which provided him with another illusion where he found much better success.

This worthy woman very plainly perceived the disorder in her husband’s mind; and, having no doubt of the cause of it, especially when she saw the tears stand in his eyes at the sight of his children, threw her arms round his neck, and, embracing him with rapturous fondness, cried out, “My dear Billy, let nothing make you uneasy. Heaven will, I doubt not, provide for us and these poor babes. Great fortunes are not necessary to happiness. For my own part, I can level my mind with any state; and for those poor little things, whatever condition of life we breed them to, that will be sufficient to maintain them in. How many thousands abound in affluence whose fortunes are much lower than ours! for it is not from nature, but from education and habit, that our wants are chiefly derived. Make yourself easy, therefore, my dear love; for you have a wife who will think herself happy with you, and endeavour to make you so, in any situation. Fear nothing, Billy, industry will always provide us a wholesome meal; and I will take care that neatness and chearfulness shall make it a pleasant one.”

This amazing woman clearly saw the turmoil in her husband’s mind; and, knowing exactly why, especially when she noticed the tears in his eyes at the sight of their kids, she wrapped her arms around his neck and, embracing him with heartfelt affection, exclaimed, “My dear Billy, don’t let anything upset you. I’m sure Heaven will take care of us and these poor little ones. You don’t need a big fortune to be happy. As for me, I can adapt my mindset to any situation; and for our kids, whatever life we bring them into, we’ll make sure they’re taken care of. There are thousands of people living in wealth whose fortunes are far less than ours! Our wants come more from how we’re raised than from our natural state. So, relax, my dear love; you have a wife who will be happy with you and will try to make you happy, no matter the circumstance. Don’t worry, Billy; hard work will always give us enough to eat, and I’ll make sure that cleanliness and cheer create a pleasant atmosphere.”

Booth presently took the cue which she had given him. He fixed his eyes on her for a minute with great earnestness and inexpressible tenderness; and then cried, “O my Amelia, how much are you my superior in every perfection! how wise, how great, how noble are your sentiments! why can I not imitate what I so much admire? why can I not look with your constancy on those dear little pledges of our loves? All my philosophy is baffled with the thought that my Amelia’s children are to struggle with a cruel, hard, unfeeling world, and to buffet those waves of fortune which have overwhelmed their father.—Here, I own I want your firmness, and am not without an excuse for wanting it; for am I not the cruel cause of all your wretchedness? have I not stept between you and fortune, and been the cursed obstacle to all your greatness and happiness?”

Booth took the hint she had given him. He looked at her for a minute with deep sincerity and profound tenderness; then exclaimed, “Oh my Amelia, you are so much better than me in every way! How wise, how great, how noble are your feelings! Why can’t I be like you, whom I admire so much? Why can’t I look with your strength at those dear little reminders of our love? All my reasoning is thrown off by the thought that my Amelia's children are going to face a cruel, harsh, and unfeeling world, battling the waves of fortune that have overwhelmed their father. Here, I admit I need your strength, and I have a good reason for that; am I not the source of all your suffering? Haven't I stood between you and good fortune, being the terrible obstacle to all your greatness and happiness?”

“Say not so, my love,” answered she. “Great I might have been, but never happy with any other man. Indeed, dear Billy, I laugh at the fears you formerly raised in me; what seemed so terrible at a distance, now it approaches nearer, appears to have been a mere bugbear—and let this comfort you, that I look on myself at this day as the happiest of women; nor have I done anything which I do not rejoice in, and would, if I had the gift of prescience, do again.”

“Don’t say that, my love,” she replied. “I could have been great, but I would never have been happy with anyone else. Honestly, dear Billy, I laugh at the fears you used to bring up in me; what seemed so scary from far away now feels like a mere boogeyman as it gets closer—and let this reassure you: I see myself today as the happiest of women; I haven’t done anything that I regret, and if I had the ability to see into the future, I would choose to do it all over again.”

Booth was so overcome with this behaviour, that he had no words to answer. To say the truth, it was difficult to find any worthy of the occasion. He threw himself prostrate at her feet, whence poor Amelia was forced to use all her strength as well as entreaties to raise and place him in his chair.

Booth was so overwhelmed by this behavior that he couldn't find the words to respond. To be honest, it was hard to come up with anything suitable for the moment. He threw himself down at her feet, and poor Amelia had to use all her strength along with pleas to help him up and get him back in his chair.

Such is ever the fortitude of perfect innocence, and such the depression of guilt in minds not utterly abandoned. Booth was naturally of a sanguine temper; nor would any such apprehensions as he mentioned have been sufficient to have restrained his joy at meeting with his Amelia. In fact, a reflection on the injury he had done her was the sole cause of his grief. This it was that enervated his heart, and threw him into agonies, which all that profusion of heroic tenderness that the most excellent of women intended for his comfort served only to heighten and aggravate; as the more she rose in his admiration, the more she quickened his sense of his own unworthiness. After a disagreeable evening, the first of that kind that he had ever passed with his Amelia, in which he had the utmost difficulty to force a little chearfulness, and in which her spirits were at length overpowered by discerning the oppression on his, they retired to rest, or rather to misery, which need not be described.

Such is always the strength of true innocence, and such is the heaviness of guilt in minds that aren't completely lost. Booth was naturally an optimistic person; no worries he mentioned would have been enough to dampen his joy at seeing Amelia. In fact, the only thing that caused him grief was thinking about the hurt he had caused her. This weighed down his heart and plunged him into misery, which all the tender care from the most amazing woman intended to comfort him only made worse; as she became more admirable in his eyes, it made him feel even more unworthy. After a tough evening—the first of its kind he had ever spent with Amelia, where he struggled to muster any cheerfulness, and where her spirits were ultimately crushed by seeing how burdened he felt—they went to bed, or rather to their misery, which needs no further description.

The next morning at breakfast, Booth began to recover a little from his melancholy, and to taste the company of his children. He now first thought of enquiring of Amelia by what means she had discovered the place of his confinement. Amelia, after gently rebuking him for not having himself acquainted her with it, informed him that it was known all over the country, and that she had traced the original of it to her sister; who had spread the news with a malicious joy, and added a circumstance which would have frightened her to death, had not her knowledge of him made her give little credit to it, which was, that he was committed for murder. But, though she had discredited this part, she said the not hearing from him during several successive posts made her too apprehensive of the rest; that she got a conveyance therefore for herself and children to Salisbury, from whence the stage coach had brought them to town; and, having deposited the children at his lodging, of which he had sent her an account on his first arrival in town, she took a hack, and came directly to the prison where she heard he was, and where she found him.

The next morning at breakfast, Booth started to feel a bit better from his sadness and enjoyed being with his children. He thought it was time to ask Amelia how she had found out where he was locked up. Amelia gently scolded him for not telling her himself and explained that it was common knowledge across the country. She traced the source of the information back to her sister, who had spread the news with malicious delight. She added a detail that would have terrified her if she hadn't known him well enough to doubt it—that he was accused of murder. Despite doubting that part, she said that not hearing from him for several posts made her worried about everything else. So, she arranged for herself and the children to travel to Salisbury, from where the stagecoach brought them to the city. After she dropped the kids off at his place, which he had told her about when he first arrived in town, she took a cab directly to the prison where she heard he was, and that's where she found him.

Booth excused himself, and with truth, as to his not having writ; for, in fact, he had writ twice from the prison, though he had mentioned nothing of his confinement; but, as he sent away his letters after nine at night, the fellow to whom they were entrusted had burnt them both for the sake of putting the twopence in his own pocket, or rather in the pocket of the keeper of the next gin-shop. As to the account which Amelia gave him, it served rather to raise than to satisfy his curiosity. He began to suspect that some person had seen both him and Miss Matthews together in the prison, and had confounded her case with his; and this the circumstance of murder made the more probable. But who this person should be he could not guess. After giving himself, therefore, some pains in forming conjectures to no purpose, he was forced to rest contented with his ignorance of the real truth.

Booth excused himself, and he was telling the truth about not having written; he actually had written twice from prison, although he didn't mention his confinement. However, since he sent his letters after nine at night, the guy he gave them to burned both of them just to pocket the two pence, or more likely to give it to the owner of the nearest bar. As for the story Amelia shared with him, it only made him more curious rather than satisfied. He started to suspect that someone had seen both him and Miss Matthews together in prison and had mixed up her situation with his; the whole murder situation made this even more likely. But he couldn't figure out who that person could be. After spending some time trying to guess, he had to settle for being in the dark about the real truth.

Two or three days now passed without producing anything remarkable; unless it were that Booth more and more recovered his spirits, and had now almost regained his former degree of chearfulness, when the following letter arrived, again to torment him:

Two or three days went by without anything noteworthy happening; unless you count that Booth was gradually lifting his spirits and had nearly restored his usual level of cheerfulness when the following letter arrived, once again to torment him:

“DEAR BILLY,

“To convince you I am the most reasonable of women, I have given you up three whole days to the unmolested possession of my fortunate rival; I can refrain no longer from letting you know that I lodge in Dean Street, not far from the church, at the sign of the Pelican and Trumpet, where I expect this evening to see you.

“To show you that I am the most reasonable woman, I’ve given you up for three whole days to my lucky rival without interruption; I can’t hold back any longer from letting you know that I live on Dean Street, not far from the church, at the Pelican and Trumpet, where I expect to see you this evening.”

“Believe me I am, with more affection than any other woman in the world can be, my dear Billy, Your affectionate, fond, doating

"Believe me, I care for you more than any other woman in the world possibly could, my dear Billy. Your affectionate, loving, devoted"

“F. MATTHEWS.”

Booth tore the letter with rage, and threw it into the fire, resolving never to visit the lady more, unless it was to pay her the money she had lent him, which he was determined to do the very first opportunity, for it was not at present in his power.

Booth ripped up the letter in anger and tossed it into the fire, deciding he would never visit the woman again, unless it was to repay the money she had lent him, which he was determined to do at the first chance he got, as he currently didn't have the means to do so.

This letter threw him back into his fit of dejection, in which he had not continued long when a packet from the country brought him the following from his friend Dr Harrison:

This letter plunged him back into his state of sadness, which he hadn't remained in for long when a package from the country arrived containing the following from his friend Dr. Harrison:

“Sir, Lyons, January 21, N. S.

“Sir, Lyons, January 21, 2023.

“Though I am now on my return home, I have taken up my pen to communicate to you some news I have heard from England, which gives me much uneasiness, and concerning which I can indeed deliver my sentiments with much more ease this way than any other. In my answer to your last, I very freely gave you my opinion, in which it was my misfortune to disapprove of every step you had taken; but those were all pardonable errors. Can you be so partial to yourself, upon cool and sober reflexion, to think what I am going to mention is so? I promise you, it appears to me a folly of so monstrous a kind, that, had I heard it from any but a person of the highest honour, I should have rejected it as utterly incredible. I hope you already guess what I am about to name; since, Heaven forbid, your conduct should afford you any choice of such gross instances of weakness. In a word, then, you have set up an equipage. What shall I invent in your excuse, either to others or to myself? In truth, I can find no excuse for you, and, what is more, I am certain you can find none for yourself. I must deal therefore very plainly and sincerely with you. Vanity is always contemptible; but when joined with dishonesty, it becomes odious and detestable. At whose expence are you to support this equipage? is it not entirely at the expence of others? and will it not finally end in that of your poor wife and children? you know you are two years in arrears to me. If I could impute this to any extraordinary or common accident I think I should never have mentioned it; but I will not suffer my money to support the ridiculous, and, I must say, criminal vanity of any one. I expect, therefore, to find, at my return, that you have either discharged my whole debt, or your equipage. Let me beg you seriously to consider your circumstances and condition in life, and to remember that your situation will not justify any the least unnecessary expence. Simply to be poor, says my favourite Greek historian, was not held scandalous by the wise Athenians, but highly so to owe that poverty to our own indiscretion.

“Even though I'm on my way back home, I decided to write to share some news I've heard from England that really bothers me, and it's much easier for me to express my thoughts this way than any other. In my response to your last message, I honestly shared my opinion, which unfortunately meant criticizing each step you took; but those were all forgivable mistakes. Can you really be so biased toward yourself, after thinking it through, to believe that what I'm about to mention is justifiable? I promise you, it seems like such a ridiculous act that, if I hadn’t heard it from someone of the highest integrity, I would have dismissed it as completely unbelievable. I hope you can guess what I'm referring to; since, Heaven forbid, your actions should give you any choice of such blatant displays of weakness. To put it plainly, you’ve bought an extravagant carriage. What excuse can I possibly come up with for you, to others or even to myself? Honestly, I can’t find any excuse for your actions, and more importantly, I’m sure you can’t find one for yourself either. So, I need to be very straightforward and honest with you. Vanity is always pathetic; but when it’s mixed with dishonesty, it becomes disgusting and revolting. At whose expense are you maintaining this carriage? Isn’t it entirely supported by others? And won’t it ultimately burden your poor wife and children? You know you are two years behind in paying me. If I could blame this on some extraordinary or common circumstance, I might never have brought it up; but I refuse to let my money fund someone's ridiculous and, I must say, immoral vanity. Therefore, when I return, I expect to see either my full debt paid off or your carriage gone. Please seriously consider your situation and your life, and remember that your circumstances don’t justify even the slightest unnecessary spending. Simply to be poor, says my favorite Greek historian, was not considered shameful by the wise Athenians, but it was highly disgraceful to owe that poverty to our own foolishness.

“Present my affections to Mrs. Booth, and be assured that I shall not, without great reason, and great pain too, ever cease to be, Your most faithful friend,

“Please give my regards to Mrs. Booth, and know that I will not, without a very good reason and a lot of sorrow, ever stop being, Your most loyal friend,

“R. HARRISON.”

Had this letter come at any other time, it would have given Booth the most sensible affliction; but so totally had the affair of Miss Matthews possessed his mind, that, like a man in the most raging fit of the gout, he was scarce capable of any additional torture; nay, he even made an use of this latter epistle, as it served to account to Amelia for that concern which he really felt on another account. The poor deceived lady, therefore, applied herself to give him comfort where he least wanted it. She said he might easily perceive that the matter had been misrepresented to the doctor, who would not, she was sure, retain the least anger against him when he knew the real truth.

Had this letter come at any other time, it would have caused Booth the most sensible distress; but he was so consumed by the situation with Miss Matthews that, like a man suffering from a severe gout attack, he could hardly handle any more pain. In fact, he even used this latest letter to explain to Amelia the concern he truly felt for another reason. The poor misled woman, therefore, tried to comfort him in the one area where he least needed it. She said he could easily see that the situation had been misrepresented to the doctor, who, she was sure, wouldn’t hold any anger against him once he learned the real truth.

After a short conversation on this subject, in which Booth appeared to be greatly consoled by the arguments of his wife, they parted. He went to take a walk in the Park, and she remained at home to prepare him his dinner.

After a brief chat about this topic, during which Booth seemed really comforted by his wife's points, they said their goodbyes. He headed out for a walk in the park, while she stayed home to make him dinner.

He was no sooner departed than his little boy, not quite six years old, said to Amelia, “La! mamma, what is the matter with poor papa, what makes him look so as if he was going to cry? he is not half so merry as he used to be in the country.” Amelia answered, “Oh! my dear, your papa is only a little thoughtful, he will be merry again soon.”—Then looking fondly on her children, she burst into an agony of tears, and cried, “Oh Heavens; what have these poor little infants done? why will the barbarous world endeavour to starve them, by depriving us of our only friend?—O my dear, your father is ruined, and we are undone!”—The children presently accompanied their mother’s tears, and the daughter cried—“Why, will anybody hurt poor papa? hath he done any harm to anybody?”—“No, my dear child,” said the mother; “he is the best man in the world, and therefore they hate him.” Upon which the boy, who was extremely sensible at his years, answered, “Nay, mamma, how can that be? have not you often told me that if I was good everybody would love me?” “All good people will,” answered she. “Why don’t they love papa then?” replied the child, “for I am sure he is very good.” “So they do, my dear,” said the mother, “but there are more bad people in the world, and they will hate you for your goodness.” “Why then, bad people,” cries the child, “are loved by more than the good.”—“No matter for that, my dear,” said she; “the love of one good person is more worth having than that of a thousand wicked ones; nay, if there was no such person in the world, still you must be a good boy; for there is one in Heaven who will love you, and his love is better for you than that of all mankind.”

He had barely left when his little boy, not quite six years old, said to Amelia, “Wow, mom, what’s wrong with poor dad? Why does he look like he’s about to cry? He’s not nearly as cheerful as he used to be back in the country.” Amelia replied, “Oh, sweetheart, your dad’s just a bit thoughtful; he’ll be happy again soon.” Then, looking lovingly at her children, she started crying hard and said, “Oh my God; what have these poor little kids done? Why does the cruel world try to starve them by taking away our only friend?—Oh my dear, your father is ruined, and we are finished!” The kids quickly joined in with their mother’s tears, and the daughter asked, “Why would anyone hurt poor dad? Has he done anything wrong to anyone?” “No, my dear child,” said the mother; “he's the best man in the world, and that’s why they hate him.” At this, the boy, who was quite perceptive for his age, replied, “But, mom, how can that be? Haven't you told me that if I’m good, everyone will love me?” “All good people will,” she answered. “Then why don’t they love dad?” the child asked, “because I know he’s very good.” “They do love him, my dear,” the mother said, “but there are more bad people in the world, and they will hate you for your goodness.” “So, then, bad people,” exclaimed the child, “are loved by more people than the good ones.” “That doesn’t matter, my dear,” she said; “the love of one good person is worth more than the love of a thousand wicked ones; and even if there wasn’t a single good person left in the world, you still have to be a good boy; because there’s one in Heaven who will love you, and His love is better for you than that of all humanity.”

This little dialogue, we are apprehensive, will be read with contempt by many; indeed, we should not have thought it worth recording, was it not for the excellent example which Amelia here gives to all mothers. This admirable woman never let a day pass without instructing her children in some lesson of religion and morality. By which means she had, in their tender minds, so strongly annexed the ideas of fear and shame to every idea of evil of which they were susceptible, that it must require great pains and length of habit to separate them. Though she was the tenderest of mothers, she never suffered any symptom of malevolence to shew itself in their most trifling actions without discouragement, without rebuke, and, if it broke forth with any rancour, without punishment. In which she had such success, that not the least mark of pride, envy, malice, or spite discovered itself in any of their little words or deeds.

This little dialogue, we’re worried, will be looked down upon by many; honestly, we wouldn’t have thought it was worth documenting if it weren’t for the great example Amelia sets for all mothers. This remarkable woman made sure to teach her children some lesson about religion and morality every single day. Because of this, she instilled in their young minds such a strong connection between fear and shame and every idea of wrongdoing they could grasp, that it would take a lot of effort and time to break that bond. Though she was the most loving mother, she never allowed any sign of negativity to show in their slightest actions without discouragement, without a reprimand, and if it came out with any malice, without punishment. She was so successful in this that not the slightest hint of pride, envy, malice, or spite showed up in any of their little words or actions.










Chapter iv. — In which Amelia appears in no unamiable light.

Amelia, with the assistance of a little girl, who was their only servant, had drest her dinner, and she had likewise drest herself as neat as any lady who had a regular sett of servants could have done, when Booth returned, and brought with him his friend James, whom he had met with in the Park; and who, as Booth absolutely refused to dine away from his wife, to whom he had promised to return, had invited himself to dine with him. Amelia had none of that paultry pride which possesses so many of her sex, and which disconcerts their tempers, and gives them the air and looks of furies, if their husbands bring in an unexpected guest, without giving them timely warning to provide a sacrifice to their own vanity. Amelia received her husband’s friend with the utmost complaisance and good humour: she made indeed some apology for the homeliness of her dinner; but it was politely turned as a compliment to Mr. James’s friendship, which could carry him where he was sure of being so ill entertained; and gave not the least hint how magnificently she would have provided had she expected the favour of so much good company. A phrase which is generally meant to contain not only an apology for the lady of the house, but a tacit satire on her guests for their intrusion, and is at least a strong insinuation that they are not welcome.

Amelia, with the help of a little girl who was their only servant, had prepared her dinner and had also dressed herself as neatly as any woman with a full staff of servants could have done when Booth returned, bringing along his friend James, whom he had met in the Park. Since Booth absolutely refused to dine away from his wife, to whom he had promised to return, James invited himself to join them for dinner. Amelia didn't possess that petty pride that so many women have, which disturbs their moods and makes them act like furious creatures if their husbands bring home an unexpected guest without giving them enough notice to feed their own vanity. Amelia welcomed her husband's friend with the utmost friendliness and good humor. She did make a slight apology for the simplicity of her dinner, but she framed it as a compliment to Mr. James's friendship that would bring him to such a humble meal, and she didn't give the slightest hint of how lavishly she would have prepared had she expected the honor of such good company. It's a phrase often used to apologize on behalf of the lady of the house while subtly criticizing her guests for their uninvited arrival, suggesting strongly that they are not particularly welcome.

Amelia failed not to enquire very earnestly after her old friend Mrs. James, formerly Miss Bath, and was very sorry to find that she was not in town. The truth was, as James had married out of a violent liking of, or appetite to, her person, possession had surfeited him, and he was now grown so heartily tired of his wife, that she had very little of his company; she was forced therefore to content herself with being the mistress of a large house and equipage in the country ten months in the year by herself. The other two he indulged her with the diversions of the town; but then, though they lodged under the same roof, she had little more of her husband’s society than if they had been one hundred miles apart. With all this, as she was a woman of calm passions, she made herself contented; for she had never had any violent affection for James: the match was of the prudent kind, and to her advantage; for his fortune, by the death of an uncle, was become very considerable; and she had gained everything by the bargain but a husband, which her constitution suffered her to be very well satisfied without.

Amelia couldn't help but ask earnestly about her old friend Mrs. James, previously Miss Bath, and was quite disappointed to learn that she wasn't in town. The truth was, James had married her out of a strong attraction, but having won her over, he had become so thoroughly bored with his wife that he barely spent any time with her. As a result, she was left to manage a large house and lifestyle in the country on her own for ten months of the year. He allowed her the excitement of city life for the other two months, but even then, despite being under the same roof, she had little more of her husband's company than if they were a hundred miles apart. Nonetheless, being a woman of calm temperament, she found ways to be content; she had never been deeply in love with James. The marriage was practical and beneficial for her, especially since his fortune had grown significantly after an uncle's death. She had gained everything from the deal except a husband, which her nature allowed her to be quite fine with.

When Amelia, after dinner, retired to her children, James began to talk to his friend concerning his affairs. He advised Booth very earnestly to think of getting again into the army, in which he himself had met with such success, that he had obtained the command of a regiment to which his brother-in-law was lieutenant-colonel. These preferments they both owed to the favour of fortune only; for, though there was no objection to either of their military characters, yet neither of them had any extraordinary desert; and, if merit in the service was a sufficient recommendation, Booth, who had been twice wounded in the siege, seemed to have the fairest pretensions; but he remained a poor half-pay lieutenant, and the others were, as we have said, one of them a lieutenant-colonel, and the other had a regiment. Such rises we often see in life, without being able to give any satisfactory account of the means, and therefore ascribe them to the good fortune of the person.

When Amelia went to check on her children after dinner, James started discussing his matters with his friend. He sincerely urged Booth to consider rejoining the army, where he himself had experienced great success, having secured command of a regiment that his brother-in-law was the lieutenant-colonel of. Both of their promotions were due solely to luck; while there were no issues with their military reputations, neither had any outstanding merit. If service record alone were a valid recommendation, Booth, who had been wounded twice during the siege, would have the best claims. Yet he remained just a struggling half-pay lieutenant, while the others, as mentioned, included one lieutenant-colonel and another who commanded a regiment. We often witness such unexpected advancements in life without being able to explain how they happened, leading us to attribute them to the individual's good fortune.

Both Colonel James and his brother-in-law were members of parliament; for, as the uncle of the former had left him, together with his estate, an almost certain interest in a borough, so he chose to confer this favour on Colonel Bath; a circumstance which would have been highly immaterial to mention here, but as it serves to set forth the goodness of James, who endeavoured to make up in kindness to the family what he wanted in fondness for his wife.

Both Colonel James and his brother-in-law were MPs; since the uncle of the former had left him, along with his estate, a guaranteed interest in a borough, he decided to extend this favor to Colonel Bath. This detail might seem unimportant to mention, but it highlights James's kindness, as he tried to compensate for his lack of affection for his wife with goodwill toward her family.

Colonel James then endeavoured all in his power to persuade Booth to think again of a military life, and very kindly offered him his interest towards obtaining him a company in the regiment under his command. Booth must have been a madman, in his present circumstances, to have hesitated one moment at accepting such an offer, and he well knew Amelia, notwithstanding her aversion to the army, was much too wise to make the least scruple of giving her consent. Nor was he, as it appeared afterwards, mistaken in his opinion of his wife’s understanding; for she made not the least objection when it was communicated to her, but contented herself with an express stipulation, that wherever he was commanded to go (for the regiment was now abroad) she would accompany him.

Colonel James then did everything he could to convince Booth to reconsider a military career and generously offered to help him get a company in the regiment he commanded. Booth must have been crazy, given his situation, to hesitate even for a moment before accepting such an offer, and he knew that Amelia, despite her dislike of the army, was way too sensible to have any reservations about giving her approval. It turned out he wasn't wrong about his wife's insight; she didn't object at all when he told her, but she did make it clear that wherever he was sent (since the regiment was currently overseas), she would go with him.

Booth, therefore, accepted his friend’s proposal with a profusion of acknowledgments; and it was agreed that Booth should draw up a memorial of his pretensions, which Colonel James undertook to present to some man of power, and to back it with all the force he had.

Booth, therefore, accepted his friend's proposal with a lot of gratitude; and it was agreed that Booth would write up a statement of his claims, which Colonel James would take to someone influential and support it with all his might.

Nor did the friendship of the colonel stop here. “You will excuse me, dear Booth,” said he, “if, after what you have told me” (for he had been very explicit in revealing his affairs to him), “I suspect you must want money at this time. If that be the case, as I am certain it must be, I have fifty pieces at your service.” This generosity brought the tears into Booth’s eyes; and he at length confest that he had not five guineas in the house; upon which James gave him a bank-bill for twenty pounds, and said he would give him thirty more the next time he saw him.

Nor did the colonel's friendship end there. “You’ll excuse me, dear Booth,” he said, “if, given what you’ve told me” (since he had been very open about his situation), “I suspect you might need some money right now. If that’s the case, which I’m sure it is, I have fifty pounds ready for you.” This kindness brought tears to Booth’s eyes; he eventually admitted that he didn’t have five guineas in the house. After that, James handed him a banknote for twenty pounds and said he would give him thirty more the next time they met.

Thus did this generous colonel (for generous he really was to the highest degree) restore peace and comfort to this little family; and by this act of beneficence make two of the worthiest people two of the happiest that evening.

Thus did this kind colonel (for kind he really was to the utmost degree) bring peace and comfort to this little family; and through this act of generosity make two of the most deserving people two of the happiest that evening.

Here, reader, give me leave to stop a minute, to lament that so few are to be found of this benign disposition; that, while wantonness, vanity, avarice, and ambition are every day rioting and triumphing in the follies and weakness, the ruin and desolation of mankind, scarce one man in a thousand is capable of tasting the happiness of others. Nay, give me leave to wonder that pride, which is constantly struggling, and often imposing on itself, to gain some little pre-eminence, should so seldom hint to us the only certain as well as laudable way of setting ourselves above another man, and that is, by becoming his benefactor.

Here, reader, let me take a moment to express my regret that so few people have this kind-hearted nature; while selfishness, vanity, greed, and ambition are constantly celebrating their triumphs in the foolishness and weaknesses, the destruction and despair of humanity, hardly one person in a thousand can appreciate the happiness of others. Moreover, I find it curious that pride, which is always striving and often deceiving itself to achieve some slight advantage, rarely suggests to us the one sure and admirable way to rise above another person: by becoming their supporter.










Chapter v. — Containing an eulogium upon innocence, and other grave matters.

Booth past that evening, and all the succeeding day, with his Amelia, without the interruption of almost a single thought concerning Miss Matthews, after having determined to go on the Sunday, the only day he could venture without the verge in the present state of his affairs, and pay her what she had advanced for him in the prison. But she had not so long patience; for the third day, while he was sitting with Amelia, a letter was brought to him. As he knew the hand, he immediately put it into his pocket unopened, not without such an alteration in his countenance, that had Amelia, who was then playing with one of the children, cast her eyes towards him, she must have remarked it. This accident, however, luckily gave him time to recover himself; for Amelia was so deeply engaged with the little one, that she did not even remark the delivery of the letter. The maid soon after returned into the room, saying, the chairman desired to know if there was any answer to the letter.—“What letter?” cries Booth.—“The letter I gave you just now,” answered the girl.—“Sure,” cries Booth, “the child is mad, you gave me no letter.”—“Yes, indeed, I did, sir,” said the poor girl. “Why then as sure as fate,” cries Booth, “I threw it into the fire in my reverie; why, child, why did you not tell me it was a letter? bid the chairman come up, stay, I will go down myself; for he will otherwise dirt the stairs with his feet.”

Booth spent that evening and the next day with Amelia, without a single thought about Miss Matthews, after deciding to visit her on Sunday, the only day he could manage given his current situation, to pay her back the money she had lent him while he was in prison. But she wasn't so patient; on the third day, while he was with Amelia, a letter was delivered to him. Recognizing the handwriting, he shoved it into his pocket without opening it, and his expression changed enough that if Amelia, who was playing with one of the children, had looked over, she would have noticed. Luckily, this gave him a moment to compose himself since Amelia was so absorbed with the little one that she didn't even notice the letter being delivered. Shortly after, the maid came back into the room and said the chairman wanted to know if there was any response to the letter. "What letter?" Booth exclaimed. "The letter I just gave you," the girl replied. "Surely," Booth said, "the child is crazy, you didn't give me any letter." "Yes, indeed, I did, sir," the poor girl insisted. "Well then, as sure as fate," Booth said, "I must have thrown it in the fire while I was daydreaming; why, child, why didn’t you tell me it was a letter? Tell the chairman to come up, no, wait, I’ll go down myself; otherwise, he’ll dirty the stairs with his feet."

Amelia was gently chiding the girl for her carelessness when Booth returned, saying it was very true that she had delivered him a letter from Colonel James, and that perhaps it might be of consequence. “However,” says he, “I will step to the coffee-house, and send him an account of this strange accident, which I know he will pardon in my present situation.”

Amelia was softly scolding the girl for her negligence when Booth came back, mentioning that it was indeed true she had given him a letter from Colonel James, and that it could be important. “But,” he said, “I’ll go to the coffee house and send him a report about this strange incident, which I know he will forgive given my current situation.”

Booth was overjoyed at this escape, which poor Amelia’s total want of all jealousy and suspicion made it very easy for him to accomplish; but his pleasure was considerably abated when, upon opening the letter, he found it to contain, mixed with several very strong expressions of love, some pretty warm ones of the upbraiding kind; but what most alarmed him was a hint that it was in her (Miss Matthews’s) power to make Amelia as miserable as herself. Besides the general knowledge of

Booth was thrilled about this escape, which poor Amelia's complete lack of jealousy and suspicion made easy for him to pull off; however, his excitement was significantly dampened when he opened the letter and discovered it contained, alongside several intense expressions of love, some pretty harsh words of reproach. But what worried him the most was a suggestion that it was within her (Miss Matthews's) power to make Amelia as unhappy as she was. Besides the general knowledge of

——Furens quid faemina possit,

——What a woman can do,

he had more particular reasons to apprehend the rage of a lady who had given so strong an instance how far she could carry her revenge. She had already sent a chairman to his lodgings with a positive command not to return without an answer to her letter. This might of itself have possibly occasioned a discovery; and he thought he had great reason to fear that, if she did not carry matters so far as purposely and avowedly to reveal the secret to Amelia, her indiscretion would at least effect the discovery of that which he would at any price have concealed. Under these terrors he might, I believe, be considered as the most wretched of human beings.

He had specific reasons to fear the anger of a woman who had shown just how far she could go for revenge. She had already sent a messenger to his place with a firm order to not come back without a response to her letter. This alone could have led to a revelation, and he felt he had plenty of reason to worry that, even if she didn't go so far as to openly share the secret with Amelia, her carelessness would at least lead to the discovery of what he was desperate to keep hidden. With these fears, he could truly be seen as the most miserable person alive.

O innocence, how glorious and happy a portion art thou to the breast that possesses thee! thou fearest neither the eyes nor the tongues of men. Truth, the most powerful of all things, is thy strongest friend; and the brighter the light is in which thou art displayed, the more it discovers thy transcendent beauties. Guilt, on the contrary, like a base thief, suspects every eye that beholds him to be privy to his transgressions, and every tongue that mentions his name to be proclaiming them. Fraud and falsehood are his weak and treacherous allies; and he lurks trembling in the dark, dreading every ray of light, lest it should discover him, and give him up to shame and punishment.

O innocence, what a glorious and happy treasure you are to the heart that has you! You fear neither the gaze nor the words of others. Truth, the most powerful force of all, is your greatest ally; and the brighter the light in which you shine, the more it reveals your extraordinary beauty. Guilt, on the other hand, like a lowly thief, suspects every eye that sees him to be aware of his wrongdoings, and every person that speaks his name to be exposing them. Deceit and lies are his weak and treacherous companions; and he hides, trembling in the shadows, fearing every beam of light, lest it uncover him and lead him to shame and punishment.

While Booth was walking in the Park with all these horrors in his mind he again met his friend Colonel James, who soon took notice of that deep concern which the other was incapable of hiding. After some little conversation, Booth said, “My dear colonel, I am sure I must be the most insensible of men if I did not look on you as the best and the truest friend; I will, therefore, without scruple, repose a confidence in you of the highest kind. I have often made you privy to my necessities, I will now acquaint you with my shame, provided you have leisure enough to give me a hearing: for I must open to you a long history, since I will not reveal my fault without informing you, at the same time, of those circumstances which, I hope, will in some measure excuse it.”

While Booth was walking in the park with all these horrors on his mind, he ran into his friend Colonel James again, who quickly noticed the deep worry that Booth couldn't hide. After some small talk, Booth said, “My dear colonel, I must be the most oblivious person if I didn’t see you as the best and truest friend; so, without hesitation, I will share my deepest trust with you. I’ve often let you know about my needs, and now I will tell you about my shame, as long as you have enough time to listen to me: I need to share a long story, because I can’t reveal my mistake without also explaining the circumstances that I hope will somewhat justify it.”

The colonel very readily agreed to give his friend a patient hearing. So they walked directly to a coffee-house at the corner of Spring-Garden, where, being in a room by themselves, Booth opened his whole heart, and acquainted the colonel with his amour with Miss Matthews, from the very beginning to his receiving that letter which had caused all his present uneasiness, and which he now delivered into his friend’s hand.

The colonel quickly agreed to listen to his friend. So they headed straight to a coffee shop at the corner of Spring Garden, where, in a room by themselves, Booth poured his heart out and told the colonel about his romance with Miss Matthews, starting from the very beginning up to the moment he received that letter which had caused all his current worries, and he now handed it to his friend.

The colonel read the letter very attentively twice over (he was silent indeed long enough to have read it oftener); and then, turning to Booth, said, “Well, sir, and is it so grievous a calamity to be the object of a young lady’s affection; especially of one whom you allow to be so extremely handsome?” “Nay, but, my dear friend,” cries Booth, “do not jest with me; you who know my Amelia.” “Well, my dear friend,” answered James, “and you know Amelia and this lady too. But what would you have me do for you?” “I would have you give me your advice,” says Booth, “by what method I shall get rid of this dreadful woman without a discovery.”—“And do you really,” cries the other, “desire to get rid of her?” “Can you doubt it,” said Booth, “after what I have communicated to you, and after what you yourself have seen in my family? for I hope, notwithstanding this fatal slip, I do not appear to you in the light of a profligate.” “Well,” answered James, “and, whatever light I may appear to you in, if you are really tired of the lady, and if she be really what you have represented her, I’ll endeavour to take her off your hands; but I insist upon it that you do not deceive me in any particular.” Booth protested in the most solemn manner that every word which he had spoken was strictly true; and being asked whether he would give his honour never more to visit the lady, he assured James that he never would. He then, at his friend’s request, delivered him Miss Matthews’s letter, in which was a second direction to her lodgings, and declared to him that, if he could bring him safely out of this terrible affair, he should think himself to have a still higher obligation to his friendship than any which he had already received from it.

The colonel read the letter very carefully twice (he was quiet long enough to have read it more times); then he turned to Booth and said, “Well, sir, is it truly such a terrible misfortune to be the target of a young lady’s affection, especially one you admit is quite attractive?” “Please, my dear friend,” Booth replied, “don’t joke with me; you know my Amelia.” “Well, my dear friend,” James responded, “you know Amelia and this lady too. But what do you want me to do for you?” “I want your advice,” Booth said, “on how to get rid of this dreadful woman without anyone finding out.” “And do you really,” James exclaimed, “want to get rid of her?” “Can you doubt it?” Booth said. “After what I’ve told you and what you’ve seen in my family? I hope, despite this unfortunate incident, I don’t come across as a reckless person to you.” “Well,” James replied, “whatever you think of me, if you're truly tired of the lady and she is really as awful as you say, I’ll try to help you out. But I insist that you don’t mislead me in any way.” Booth swore solemnly that every word he had said was absolutely true, and when asked if he would promise never to visit the lady again, he assured James that he would not. He then, at his friend’s request, gave him Miss Matthews’s letter, which had a second address for her lodgings, and told him that if he could help him safely out of this terrible situation, he would feel even more indebted to his friendship than he already was.

Booth pressed the colonel to go home with him to dinner; but he excused himself, being, as he said, already engaged. However, he undertook in the afternoon to do all in his power that Booth should receive no more alarms from the quarter of Miss Matthews, whom the colonel undertook to pay all the demands she had on his friend. They then separated. The colonel went to dinner at the King’s Arms, and Booth returned in high spirits to meet his Amelia.

Booth asked the colonel to join him for dinner at his place, but he declined, saying he was already busy. However, he promised to do everything he could that afternoon to ensure Booth wouldn't receive any more stressful messages from Miss Matthews, and he agreed to cover all her claims against his friend. They then went their separate ways. The colonel went to have dinner at the King's Arms, while Booth happily returned to see Amelia.

The next day, early in the morning, the colonel came to the coffee-house and sent for his friend, who lodged but at a little distance. The colonel told him he had a little exaggerated the lady’s beauty; however, he said, he excused that, “for you might think, perhaps,” cries he, “that your inconstancy to the finest woman in the world might want some excuse. Be that as it will,” said he, “you may make yourself easy, as it will be, I am convinced, your own fault, if you have ever any further molestation from Miss Matthews.”

The next day, bright and early, the colonel went to the coffee shop and asked for his friend, who lived just a short distance away. The colonel mentioned that he might have overstated the lady's beauty; however, he added, “You might think, perhaps,” he exclaimed, “that your wandering heart toward the most beautiful woman in the world might need some justification. Regardless,” he continued, “you can relax, because I'm sure it will be your own fault if you ever have any more trouble with Miss Matthews.”

Booth poured forth very warmly a great profusion of gratitude on this occasion; and nothing more anywise material passed at this interview, which was very short, the colonel being in a great hurry, as he had, he said, some business of very great importance to transact that morning.

Booth expressed a lot of gratitude during this meeting, and nothing else of significance happened in their brief conversation. The colonel was in a rush, as he mentioned that he had some important business to attend to that morning.

The colonel had now seen Booth twice without remembering to give him the thirty pounds. This the latter imputed intirely to forgetfulness; for he had always found the promises of the former to be equal in value with the notes or bonds of other people. He was more surprized at what happened the next day, when, meeting his friend in the Park, he received only a cold salute from him; and though he past him five or six times, and the colonel was walking with a single officer of no great rank, and with whom he seemed in no earnest conversation, yet could not Booth, who was alone, obtain any further notice from him.

The colonel had now seen Booth twice and still hadn't remembered to give him the thirty pounds. Booth considered this purely a matter of forgetfulness because he had always found the colonel's promises to be worth no more than the notes or bonds of others. He was even more surprised by what happened the next day when he ran into his friend in the Park and only received a brief nod from him. Despite walking past the colonel five or six times, who was with a low-ranking officer that he didn’t seem to be seriously talking to, Booth, who was alone, couldn't get any more acknowledgment from him.

This gave the poor man some alarm; though he could scarce persuade himself that there was any design in all this coldness or forgetfulness. Once he imagined that he had lessened himself in the colonel’s opinion by having discovered his inconstancy to Amelia; but the known character of the other presently cured him of his suspicion, for he was a perfect libertine with regard to women; that being indeed the principal blemish in his character, which otherwise might have deserved much commendation for good-nature, generosity, and friendship. But he carried this one to a most unpardonable height; and made no scruple of openly declaring that, if he ever liked a woman well enough to be uneasy on her account, he would cure himself, if he could, by enjoying her, whatever might be the consequence.

This made the poor man a bit anxious; though he could hardly convince himself that there was any intention behind all this coldness or forgetfulness. At one point, he thought he had diminished his standing in the colonel’s eyes by exposing his unfaithfulness to Amelia; but the colonel's known reputation quickly dispelled his doubts, as he was a complete playboy when it came to women. This was truly the main flaw in his character, which otherwise could have been fairly praised for his good nature, generosity, and loyalty. However, he took this flaw to a completely inexcusable level; he had no qualms about openly stating that if he ever liked a woman enough to be troubled about her, he would try to fix himself by sleeping with her, no matter what the consequences might be.

Booth could not therefore be persuaded that the colonel would so highly resent in another a fault of which he was himself most notoriously guilty. After much consideration he could derive this behaviour from nothing better than a capriciousness in his friend’s temper, from a kind of inconstancy of mind, which makes men grow weary of their friends with no more reason than they often are of their mistresses. To say the truth, there are jilts in friendship as well as in love; and, by the behaviour of some men in both, one would almost imagine that they industriously sought to gain the affections of others with a view only of making the parties miserable.

Booth couldn’t understand how the colonel would be so upset by a fault in someone else that he himself was clearly guilty of. After a lot of thought, he could only explain this behavior as his friend’s fickle temperament, a kind of inconsistency that makes people tire of their friends just as easily as they do of their lovers. The truth is, there are betrayers in friendship just as there are in love; and judging by how some men act in both areas, you’d think they’re deliberately trying to win people over just to make them unhappy.

This was the consequence of the colonel’s behaviour to Booth. Former calamities had afflicted him, but this almost distracted him; and the more so as he was not able well to account for such conduct, nor to conceive the reason of it.

This was the result of the colonel's behavior toward Booth. He had faced previous misfortunes, but this one nearly drove him insane; especially since he couldn't quite understand such treatment or figure out the reason for it.

Amelia, at his return, presently perceived the disturbance in his mind, though he endeavoured with his utmost power to hide it; and he was at length prevailed upon by her entreaties to discover to her the cause of it, which she no sooner heard than she applied as judicious a remedy to his disordered spirits as either of those great mental physicians, Tully or Aristotle, could have thought of. She used many arguments to persuade him that he was in an error, and had mistaken forgetfulness and carelessness for a designed neglect.

Amelia, upon his return, quickly noticed the turmoil in his mind, even though he tried hard to conceal it. Eventually, he gave in to her pleas and revealed the reason behind it. As soon as she heard, she applied as wise a remedy to his troubled mind as any of those great thinkers, Tully or Aristotle, could have come up with. She used various arguments to convince him that he was mistaken, confusing forgetfulness and carelessness for intentional neglect.

But, as this physic was only eventually good, and as its efficacy depended on her being in the right, a point in which she was not apt to be too positive, she thought fit to add some consolation of a more certain and positive kind. “Admit,” said she, “my dear, that Mr. James should prove the unaccountable person you have suspected, and should, without being able to alledge any cause, withdraw his friendship from you (for surely the accident of burning his letter is too trifling and ridiculous to mention), why should this grieve you? the obligations he hath conferred on you, I allow, ought to make his misfortunes almost your own; but they should not, I think, make you see his faults so very sensibly, especially when, by one of the greatest faults in the world committed against yourself, he hath considerably lessened all obligations; for sure, if the same person who hath contributed to my happiness at one time doth everything in his power maliciously and wantonly to make me miserable at another, I am very little obliged to such a person. And let it be a comfort to my dear Billy, that, however other friends may prove false and fickle to him, he hath one friend, whom no inconstancy of her own, nor any change of his fortune, nor time, nor age, nor sickness, nor any accident, can ever alter; but who will esteem, will love, and doat on him for ever.” So saying, she flung her snowy arms about his neck, and gave him a caress so tender, that it seemed almost to balance all the malice of his fate.

But since this remedy was only eventually helpful, and since its effectiveness depended on her being right—a point she wasn't usually too sure about—she decided to offer some comfort that was more certain and clear. “Consider,” she said, “my dear, if Mr. James really turns out to be the mysterious person you've been suspicious of and decides to withdraw his friendship from you without any explanation (because let's be honest, the incident of burning his letter is too trivial and silly to mention), why should this upset you? The favors he has done for you should, I agree, make his troubles feel like your own, but they shouldn't make you notice his faults so painfully, especially since one of the biggest wrongs he has committed against you has significantly reduced his obligations. After all, if the same person who once contributed to my happiness now actively tries to make me miserable, I owe them very little. And let it be a comfort to my dear Billy that, no matter how other friends may turn out to be unreliable and inconsistent, he has one friend whose loyalty can never be shaken by her own unpredictability, his changing circumstances, time, age, sickness, or any other event; she will always value, love, and cherish him forever.” With that, she wrapped her soft arms around his neck and gave him a hug so tender it seemed to counterbalance all the negativity in his life.

And, indeed, the behaviour of Amelia would have made him completely happy, in defiance of all adverse circumstances, had it not been for those bitter ingredients which he himself had thrown into his cup, and which prevented him from truly relishing his Amelia’s sweetness, by cruelly reminding him how unworthy he was of this excellent creature.

And, honestly, Amelia's behavior would have made him completely happy, despite all the challenges, if it weren't for the bitter things he had added to his life that kept him from truly appreciating Amelia's goodness, constantly reminding him of how unworthy he was of such an amazing person.

Booth did not long remain in the dark as to the conduct of James, which, at first, appeared to him to be so great a mystery; for this very afternoon he received a letter from Miss Matthews which unravelled the whole affair. By this letter, which was full of bitterness and upbraiding, he discovered that James was his rival with that lady, and was, indeed, the identical person who had sent the hundred-pound note to Miss Matthews, when in the prison. He had reason to believe, likewise, as well by the letter as by other circumstances, that James had hitherto been an unsuccessful lover; for the lady, though she had forfeited all title to virtue, had not yet so far forfeited all pretensions to delicacy as to be, like the dirt in the street, indifferently common to all. She distributed her favours only to those she liked, in which number that gentleman had not the happiness of being included.

Booth didn't stay in the dark for long about James's actions, which initially seemed like a huge mystery to him. That very afternoon, he received a letter from Miss Matthews that cleared everything up. The letter, filled with bitterness and accusations, revealed that James was his rival for her affections and was actually the same person who had sent the hundred-pound note to Miss Matthews while she was in prison. He also had reason to believe, based on the letter and other clues, that James had previously been an unsuccessful suitor. Although the lady had lost all claim to virtue, she still maintained some level of delicacy and was not as easily available as someone just lying in the street. She only shared her favors with those she liked, and unfortunately, that gentleman was not among them.

When Booth had made this discovery, he was not so little versed in human nature, as any longer to hesitate at the true motive to the colonel’s conduct; for he well knew how odious a sight a happy rival is to an unfortunate lover. I believe he was, in reality, glad to assign the cold treatment he had received from his friend to a cause which, however injustifiable, is at the same time highly natural; and to acquit him of a levity, fickleness, and caprice, which he must have been unwillingly obliged to have seen in a much worse light.

When Booth made this discovery, he was knowledgeable enough about human nature not to doubt the real reason behind the colonel’s behavior; he understood how unpleasant it is for an unfortunate lover to see a rival who is happy. I think he was actually relieved to attribute the cold treatment he received from his friend to a reason that, although unjustifiable, is still very natural. This allowed him to view his friend as not being trivial, unreliable, or capricious, which he would have been reluctant to see in a much worse way.

He now resolved to take the first opportunity of accosting the colonel, and of coming to a perfect explanation upon the whole matter. He debated likewise with himself whether he should not throw himself at Amelia’s feet, and confess a crime to her which he found so little hopes of concealing, and which he foresaw would occasion him so many difficulties and terrors to endeavour to conceal. Happy had it been for him, had he wisely pursued this step; since, in all probability, he would have received immediate forgiveness from the best of women; but he had not sufficient resolution, or, to speak perhaps more truly, he had too much pride, to confess his guilt, and preferred the danger of the highest inconveniences to the certainty of being put to the blush.

He decided to take the first chance to approach the colonel and clarify everything. He also thought about throwing himself at Amelia's feet and confessing a wrong that he felt he had little chance of hiding, which he knew would lead to many difficulties and fears if he tried to keep it secret. It would have been better for him if he had wisely chosen this path; chances are, he would have received immediate forgiveness from the best of women. However, he lacked the courage—or, more accurately, he had too much pride—to admit his wrongdoing, and he chose the risk of serious consequences over the certainty of feeling embarrassed.










Chapter vi. — In which may appear that violence is sometimes done to the name of love.

When that happy day came, in which unhallowed hands are forbidden to contaminate the shoulders of the unfortunate, Booth went early to the colonel’s house, and, being admitted to his presence, began with great freedom, though with great gentleness, to complain of his not having dealt with him with more openness. “Why, my dear colonel,” said he, “would you not acquaint me with that secret which this letter hath disclosed?” James read the letter, at which his countenance changed more than once; and then, after a short silence, said, “Mr. Booth, I have been to blame, I own it; and you upbraid me with justice. The true reason was, that I was ashamed of my own folly. D—n me, Booth, if I have not been a most consummate fool, a very dupe to this woman; and she hath a particular pleasure in making me so. I know what the impertinence of virtue is, and I can submit to it; but to be treated thus by a whore—You must forgive me, dear Booth, but your success was a kind of triumph over me, which I could not bear. I own, I have not the least reason to conceive any anger against you; and yet, curse me if I should not have been less displeased at your lying with my own wife; nay, I could almost have parted with half my fortune to you more willingly than have suffered you to receive that trifle of my money which you received at her hands. However, I ask your pardon, and I promise you I will never more think of you with the least ill-will on the account of this woman; but as for her, d—n me if I do not enjoy her by some means or other, whatever it costs me; for I am already above two hundred pounds out of pocket, without having scarce had a smile in return.”

When that happy day arrived, when unworthy hands were kept from tainting the shoulders of the unfortunate, Booth went early to the colonel’s house. Once he was granted access, he began confidently yet gently to express his disappointment about the colonel not being more open with him. “Why, my dear colonel,” he said, “didn’t you share with me the secret revealed in this letter?” James read the letter, and his expression shifted multiple times. After a brief silence, he replied, “Mr. Booth, I admit I have been at fault; you have every right to criticize me. The real reason is that I was embarrassed by my own foolishness. Damn me, Booth, if I haven’t been a complete fool, utterly deceived by this woman, who takes particular pleasure in doing so. I understand the arrogance of virtue, and I can tolerate it; but to be treated this way by a prostitute—You must forgive me, dear Booth; your success felt like a personal defeat to me that I simply couldn’t handle. I acknowledge that I have no reason to be angry with you; nevertheless, I’d swear I would have been less upset if it had been my own wife you were with. In fact, I might have willingly given you half my fortune rather than let you take that small amount of money she gave you. However, I ask for your forgiveness, and I promise I will never again think of you with any ill will because of her; but as for her, damn me if I don’t make sure to have her one way or another, no matter what it costs me, because I’m already over two hundred pounds out of pocket without even getting a smile in return.”

Booth exprest much astonishment at this declaration; he said he could not conceive how it was possible to have such an affection for a woman who did not shew the least inclination to return it. James gave her a hearty curse, and said, “Pox of her inclination; I want only the possession of her person, and that, you will allow, is a very fine one. But, besides my passion for her, she hath now piqued my pride; for how can a man of my fortune brook being refused by a whore?”—“Since you are so set on the business,” cries Booth, “you will excuse my saying so, I fancy you had better change your method of applying to her; for, as she is, perhaps, the vainest woman upon earth, your bounty may probably do you little service, nay, may rather actually disoblige her. Vanity is plainly her predominant passion, and, if you will administer to that, it will infallibly throw her into your arms. To this I attribute my own unfortunate success. While she relieved my wants and distresses she was daily feeding her own vanity; whereas, as every gift of yours asserted your superiority, it rather offended than pleased her. Indeed, women generally love to be of the obliging side; and, if we examine their favourites, we shall find them to be much oftener such as they have conferred obligations on than such as they have received them from.”

Booth expressed a lot of surprise at this statement; he said he couldn’t understand how someone could have such strong feelings for a woman who showed no inclination to return them. James cursed her heartily and said, “Forget her feelings; I just want to have her physically, and you have to admit, she’s quite attractive. But besides my passion for her, she’s now hurt my pride; how can a man like me accept being rejected by a prostitute?”—“Since you’re so determined,” Booth replied, “I think you should consider changing your approach with her; because she’s probably the most vain woman on earth, your generosity might not help you at all and might even turn her off. Vanity is clearly her main passion, and if you cater to that, it will definitely bring her closer to you. I think this is why I’ve had so little luck. While she was helping me with my needs, she was also feeding her own vanity; but every gift you give her just shows that you’re superior, which annoys her more than it pleases her. In fact, women generally like to be the ones doing the giving, and if we look at their favorites, we’ll find they usually prefer those they’ve done favors for rather than those who’ve done favors for them.”

There was something in this speech which pleased the colonel; and he said, with a smile, “I don’t know how it is, Will, but you know women better than I.”—“Perhaps, colonel,” answered Booth, “I have studied their minds more.”—“I don’t, however, much envy your knowledge,” replied the other, “for I never think their minds worth considering. However, I hope I shall profit a little by your experience with Miss Matthews. Damnation seize the proud insolent harlot! the devil take me if I don’t love her more than I ever loved a woman!”

There was something in this speech that pleased the colonel; and he said, with a smile, “I don’t know how it is, Will, but you understand women better than I do.” —“Maybe, colonel,” Booth replied, “I’ve studied their thoughts more.” —“I don’t, however, envy your knowledge,” the colonel said, “because I rarely find their thoughts worth considering. But I hope to gain a bit from your experience with Miss Matthews. Damn that proud, arrogant woman! I swear, I love her more than I've ever loved anyone!”

The rest of their conversation turned on Booth’s affairs. The colonel again reassumed the part of a friend, gave him the remainder of the money, and promised to take the first opportunity of laying his memorial before a great man.

The rest of their conversation focused on Booth’s situation. The colonel once again took on the role of a friend, handed him the rest of the money, and promised to seize the first chance to present his case to an important person.

Booth was greatly overjoyed at this success. Nothing now lay on his mind but to conceal his frailty from Amelia, to whom he was afraid Miss Matthews, in the rage of her resentment, would communicate it. This apprehension made him stay almost constantly at home; and he trembled at every knock at the door. His fear, moreover, betrayed him into a meanness which he would have heartily despised on any other occasion. This was to order the maid to deliver him any letter directed to Amelia; at the same time strictly charging her not to acquaint her mistress with her having received any such orders.

Booth was extremely happy about this success. Now, his only concern was to hide his weakness from Amelia, fearing that Miss Matthews might tell her out of spite. This worry kept him at home almost all the time, and he jumped at every knock on the door. His fear also led him to act in a way he would usually deeply despise. He instructed the maid to hand him any letter addressed to Amelia, while strictly telling her not to inform her mistress that she had received such orders.

A servant of any acuteness would have formed strange conjectures from such an injunction; but this poor girl was of perfect simplicity; so great, indeed, was her simplicity, that, had not Amelia been void of all suspicion of her husband, the maid would have soon after betrayed her master.

A servant with any sharpness would have come up with weird ideas from such a command; but this poor girl was completely naive; her naivety was so great that, if Amelia had even a hint of doubt about her husband, the maid would have quickly revealed her master’s secrets.

One afternoon, while they were drinking tea, little Betty, so was the maid called, came into the room, and, calling her master forth, delivered him a card which was directed to Amelia. Booth, having read the card, on his return into the room chid the girl for calling him, saying “If you can read, child, you must see it was directed to your mistress.” To this the girl answered, pertly enough, “I am sure, sir, you ordered me to bring every letter first to you.” This hint, with many women, would have been sufficient to have blown up the whole affair; but Amelia, who heard what the girl said, through the medium of love and confidence, saw the matter in a much better light than it deserved, and, looking tenderly on her husband, said, “Indeed, my love, I must blame you for a conduct which, perhaps, I ought rather to praise, as it proceeds only from the extreme tenderness of your affection. But why will you endeavour to keep any secrets from me? believe me, for my own sake, you ought not; for, as you cannot hide the consequences, you make me always suspect ten times worse than the reality. While I have you and my children well before my eyes, I am capable of facing any news which can arrive; for what ill news can come (unless, indeed, it concerns my little babe in the country) which doth not relate to the badness of our circumstances? and those, I thank Heaven, we have now a fair prospect of retrieving. Besides, dear Billy, though my understanding be much inferior to yours, I have sometimes had the happiness of luckily hitting on some argument which hath afforded you comfort. This, you know, my dear, was the case with regard to Colonel James, whom I persuaded you to think you had mistaken, and you see the event proved me in the right.” So happily, both for herself and Mr. Booth, did the excellence of this good woman’s disposition deceive her, and force her to see everything in the most advantageous light to her husband.

One afternoon, while they were having tea, little Betty, the maid, came into the room and, calling for her master, handed him a card that was addressed to Amelia. After reading the card, Booth went back into the room and scolded the girl for calling him, saying, “If you can read, child, you must see it was directed to your mistress.” The girl responded quite cheekily, “I’m sure, sir, you told me to bring every letter to you first.” This kind of remark would have been enough to escalate the situation with many women, but Amelia, who heard what the girl said, viewed it through the lens of love and trust, seeing things in a much brighter light than they deserved. Looking tenderly at her husband, she said, “Indeed, my love, I have to blame you for behavior that perhaps I should commend since it comes from your deep affection. But why do you try to keep secrets from me? Believe me, for my sake, you shouldn’t. Because since you can’t hide the consequences, you make me worry ten times worse than the reality. As long as I have you and our children safely in front of me, I can handle any news that comes my way. What bad news could there be (unless it concerns our little babe in the country) that doesn’t relate to our difficult situation? And those, thank Heaven, we have a good chance of improving. Besides, dear Billy, even though my understanding isn’t as good as yours, I’ve sometimes been lucky enough to suggest ideas that have comforted you. You know, my dear, that was the case with Colonel James, whom I convinced you to think you had misunderstood, and you see how that turned out.” So blissfully, both for herself and Mr. Booth, did this wonderful woman's nature deceive her and lead her to view everything in the most favorable light for her husband.

The card, being now inspected, was found to contain the compliments of Mrs. James to Mrs. Booth, with an account of her being arrived in town, and having brought with her a very great cold. Amelia was overjoyed at the news of her arrival, and having drest herself in the utmost hurry, left her children to the care of her husband, and ran away to pay her respects to her friend, whom she loved with a most sincere affection. But how was she disappointed when, eager with the utmost impatience, and exulting with the thoughts of presently seeing her beloved friend, she was answered at the door that the lady was not at home! nor could she, upon telling her name, obtain any admission. This, considering the account she had received of the lady’s cold, greatly surprized her; and she returned home very much vexed at her disappointment.

The card that was being looked at was found to have greetings from Mrs. James to Mrs. Booth, mentioning her arrival in town and that she had brought a really bad cold with her. Amelia was thrilled to hear about her arrival, and after quickly getting dressed, she left her children in her husband’s care and hurried off to see her friend, whom she genuinely loved. But she was so disappointed when, full of excitement and eager to see her dear friend, she was told at the door that the lady wasn’t home! Even after she mentioned her name, she couldn’t get in. This surprised her, considering what she had heard about the lady’s cold, and she returned home very upset about her disappointment.

Amelia, who had no suspicion that Mrs. James was really at home, and, as the phrase is, was denied, would have made a second visit the next morning, had she not been prevented by a cold which she herself now got, and which was attended with a slight fever. This confined her several days to her house, during which Booth officiated as her nurse, and never stirred from her.

Amelia, unaware that Mrs. James was actually at home and, as they say, was being denied, would have made a second visit the next morning if she hadn’t caught a cold, which also came with a slight fever. This kept her stuck at home for several days, during which Booth acted as her nurse and never left her side.

In all this time she heard not a word from Mrs. James, which gave her some uneasiness, but more astonishment. The tenth day, when she was perfectly recovered, about nine in the evening, when she and her husband were just going to supper, she heard a most violent thundering at the door, and presently after a rustling of silk upon her staircase; at the same time a female voice cried out pretty loud, “Bless me! what, am I to climb up another pair of stairs?” upon which Amelia, who well knew the voice, presently ran to the door, and ushered in Mrs. James, most splendidly drest, who put on as formal a countenance, and made as formal a courtesie to her old friend, as if she had been her very distant acquaintance.

In all this time, she hadn’t heard a word from Mrs. James, which made her feel uneasy but mostly surprised. On the tenth day, when she was fully recovered, around nine in the evening, just as she and her husband were about to have supper, she heard a loud banging at the door, followed by the sound of silk rustling on her staircase. At the same time, a woman’s voice called out loudly, “Oh my! What, do I have to climb up another set of stairs?” In response, Amelia, who recognized the voice, quickly ran to the door and welcomed in Mrs. James, who was dressed to the nines. Mrs. James put on a very formal expression and gave a stiff curtsy to her old friend, as if they were only distant acquaintances.

Poor Amelia, who was going to rush into her friend’s arms, was struck motionless by this behaviour; but re-collecting her spirits, as she had an excellent presence of mind, she presently understood what the lady meant, and resolved to treat her in her own way. Down therefore the company sat, and silence prevailed for some time, during which Mrs. James surveyed the room with more attention than she would have bestowed on one much finer. At length the conversation began, in which the weather and the diversions of the town were well canvassed. Amelia, who was a woman of great humour, performed her part to admiration; so that a by-stander would have doubted, in every other article than dress, which of the two was the most accomplished fine lady.

Poor Amelia, who was about to rush into her friend’s arms, was frozen in place by this behavior; but gathering her wits, thanks to her excellent presence of mind, she quickly figured out what the lady meant and decided to handle it her own way. So, the group sat down, and silence fell for a while, during which Mrs. James examined the room with more focus than she would have given to a much nicer one. Eventually, the conversation started, covering topics like the weather and the city’s entertainment options. Amelia, known for her great sense of humor, played her role brilliantly; so much so that an onlooker might have questioned, in every respect except for clothing, which of the two was the more accomplished socialite.

After a visit of twenty minutes, during which not a word of any former occurrences was mentioned, nor indeed any subject of discourse started, except only those two above mentioned, Mrs. James rose from her chair and retired in the same formal manner in which she had approached. We will pursue her for the sake of the contrast during the rest of the evening. She went from Amelia directly to a rout, where she spent two hours in a croud of company, talked again and again over the diversions and news of the town, played two rubbers at whist, and then retired to her own apartment, where, having past another hour in undressing herself, she went to her own bed.

After a twenty-minute visit, during which no mention was made of any past events, nor was any other topic brought up, aside from those two already mentioned, Mrs. James got up from her chair and left in the same formal way she had arrived. We will follow her for the sake of contrast throughout the rest of the evening. She went straight from Amelia to a party, where she spent two hours in a crowd of people, talked about the various entertainments and news in town, played two hands of whist, and then went back to her room, where she spent another hour getting undressed before going to bed.

Booth and his wife, the moment their companion was gone, sat down to supper on a piece of cold meat, the remains of their dinner. After which, over a pint of wine, they entertained themselves for a while with the ridiculous behaviour of their visitant. But Amelia, declaring she rather saw her as the object of pity than anger, turned the discourse to pleasanter topics. The little actions of their children, the former scenes and future prospects of their life, furnished them with many pleasant ideas; and the contemplation of Amelia’s recovery threw Booth into raptures. At length they retired, happy in each other.

Booth and his wife, once their guest had left, sat down to dinner with some cold meat, the leftovers from their meal. After that, while enjoying a pint of wine, they amused themselves for a bit with the silly behavior of their visitor. However, Amelia, saying she felt more pity than anger for her, shifted the conversation to more cheerful subjects. The little things their children did, memories of the past, and hopes for the future provided them with many joyful thoughts, and the thought of Amelia’s recovery made Booth ecstatic. Eventually, they went to bed, content in each other’s company.

It is possible some readers may be no less surprized at the behaviour of Mrs. James than was Amelia herself, since they may have perhaps received so favourable an impression of that lady from the account given of her by Mr. Booth, that her present demeanour may seem unnatural and inconsistent with her former character. But they will be pleased to consider the great alteration in her circumstances, from a state of dependency on a brother, who was himself no better than a soldier of fortune, to that of being wife to a man of a very large estate and considerable rank in life. And what was her present behaviour more than that of a fine lady who considered form and show as essential ingredients of human happiness, and imagined all friendship to consist in ceremony, courtesies, messages, and visits? in which opinion, she hath the honour to think with much the larger part of one sex, and no small number of the other.

Some readers might be just as surprised by Mrs. James's behavior as Amelia was, since they may have formed such a positive impression of her from Mr. Booth's description that her current demeanor seems unnatural and inconsistent with her previous character. However, they should consider the significant change in her circumstances, moving from depending on a brother who was essentially just a mercenary to being the wife of a man with a substantial estate and notable status. And isn't her current behavior just what you’d expect from a sophisticated lady who views appearances and social status as key components of happiness, believing that friendship consists solely of formalities, pleasantries, messages, and visits? In this view, she shares the opinion of the vast majority of one gender and quite a few of the other.










Chapter vii. — Containing a very extraordinary and pleasant incident.

The next evening Booth and Amelia went to walk in the park with their children. They were now on the verge of the parade, and Booth was describing to his wife the several buildings round it, when, on a sudden, Amelia, missing her little boy, cried out, “Where’s little Billy?” Upon which, Booth, casting his eyes over the grass, saw a foot-soldier shaking the boy at a little distance. At this sight, without making any answer to his wife, he leapt over the rails, and, running directly up to the fellow, who had a firelock with a bayonet fixed in his hand, he seized him by the collar and tript up his heels, and, at the same time, wrested his arms from him. A serjeant upon duty, seeing the affray at some distance, ran presently up, and, being told what had happened, gave the centinel a hearty curse, and told him he deserved to be hanged. A by-stander gave this information; for Booth was returned with his little boy to meet Amelia, who staggered towards him as fast as she could, all pale and breathless, and scarce able to support her tottering limbs. The serjeant now came up to Booth, to make an apology for the behaviour of the soldier, when, of a sudden, he turned almost as pale as Amelia herself. He stood silent whilst Booth was employed in comforting and recovering his wife; and then, addressing himself to him, said, “Bless me! lieutenant, could I imagine it had been your honour; and was it my little master that the rascal used so?—I am glad I did not know it, for I should certainly have run my halbert into him.”

The next evening, Booth and Amelia took their kids for a walk in the park. They were just about to reach the parade when Booth was explaining to his wife about the various buildings around it, when suddenly Amelia shouted, “Where’s little Billy?” At that moment, Booth looked over the grass and saw a soldier shaking the boy a short distance away. Without responding to his wife, he jumped over the railing and ran straight up to the guy, who was holding a rifle with a bayonet attached. He grabbed him by the collar and knocked him down while also trying to get the boy back. A sergeant on duty, noticing the scuffle from a distance, hurried over and, after being informed of what happened, yelled at the sentinel, saying he deserved to be hanged. A bystander provided this information since Booth had returned with his little boy to meet Amelia, who staggered toward him, pale and breathless, barely able to keep herself upright. The sergeant then approached Booth to apologize for the soldier’s behavior when, suddenly, he turned nearly as pale as Amelia. He stood silently while Booth tried to comfort and help his wife, and then he said, “Oh my! Lieutenant, I can’t believe it was you! Was it my little master that the idiot treated like that? I’m glad I didn’t know because I would’ve definitely run my halberd into him.”

Booth presently recognised his old faithful servant Atkinson, and gave him a hearty greeting, saying he was very glad to see him in his present situation. “Whatever I am,” answered the serjeant, “I shall always think I owe it to your honour.” Then, taking the little boy by the hand he cried, “What a vast fine young gentleman master is grown!” and, cursing the soldier’s inhumanity, swore heartily he would make him pay for it.

Booth immediately recognized his old, loyal servant Atkinson and warmly greeted him, expressing how pleased he was to see him in his current position. “Whatever I am,” the sergeant replied, “I will always believe I owe it to you, sir.” Then, taking the little boy by the hand, he exclaimed, “What a wonderfully fine young gentleman master has become!” and, cursing the soldier’s cruelty, fiercely promised to make him pay for it.

As Amelia was much disordered with her fright, she did not recollect her foster-brother till he was introduced to her by Booth; but she no sooner knew him than she bestowed a most obliging smile on him; and, calling him by the name of honest Joe, said she was heartily glad to see him in England. “See, my dear,” cries Booth, “what preferment your old friend is come to. You would scarce know him, I believe, in his present state of finery.” “I am very well pleased to see it,” answered Amelia, “and I wish him joy of being made an officer with all my heart.” In fact, from what Mr. Booth said, joined to the serjeant’s laced coat, she believed that he had obtained a commission. So weak and absurd is human vanity, that this mistake of Amelia’s possibly put poor Atkinson out of countenance, for he looked at this instant more silly than he had ever done in his life; and, making her a most respectful bow, muttered something about obligations, in a scarce articulate or intelligible manner.

As Amelia was quite flustered from her fright, she didn’t remember her foster brother until Booth introduced him. But as soon as she recognized him, she gave him a warm smile and called him honest Joe, saying she was really happy to see him in England. “Look, my dear,” Booth said, “see how well your old friend is doing. You probably wouldn’t even recognize him in his fancy clothes.” “I’m very glad to see it,” Amelia replied, “and I wish him all the best on becoming an officer.” In fact, from what Mr. Booth said, along with the sergeant’s fancy coat, she thought he had gotten a commission. Human vanity can be so weak and foolish that Amelia’s misunderstanding might have embarrassed poor Atkinson, as he looked more awkward than ever at that moment; and with a very respectful bow, he mumbled something about obligations in a barely understandable way.

The serjeant had, indeed, among many other qualities, that modesty which a Latin author honours by the name of ingenuous: nature had given him this, notwithstanding the meanness of his birth; and six years’ conversation in the army had not taken it away. To say the truth, he was a noble fellow; and Amelia, by supposing he had a commission in the guards, had been guilty of no affront to that honourable body.

The sergeant had, among many other qualities, the modesty that a Latin author praises as genuine: nature had given him this, despite his humble beginnings; and six years of military life had not stripped it away. Honestly, he was a great guy; and Amelia, by believing he had a commission in the guards, had not disrespected that honorable group.

Booth had a real affection for Atkinson, though, in fact, he knew not half his merit. He acquainted him with his lodgings, where he earnestly desired to see him.

Booth genuinely cared for Atkinson, although he didn’t fully appreciate all of his qualities. He invited him to his place, where he earnestly wanted to see him.

{Illustration: He seized him by the collar.}

{Illustration: He grabbed him by the collar.}

Amelia, who was far from being recovered from the terrors into which the seeing her husband engaged with the soldier had thrown her, desired to go home: nor was she well able to walk without some assistance. While she supported herself, therefore, on her husband’s arm, she told Atkinson she should be obliged to him if he would take care of the children. He readily accepted the office; but, upon offering his hand to miss, she refused, and burst into tears. Upon which the tender mother resigned Booth to her children, and put herself under the serjeant’s protection; who conducted her safe home, though she often declared she feared she should drop down by the way; the fear of which so affected the serjeant (for, besides the honour which he himself had for the lady, he knew how tenderly his friend loved her) that he was unable to speak; and, had not his nerves been so strongly braced that nothing could shake them, he had enough in his mind to have set him a trembling equally with the lady.

Amelia, who was still shaken by the horrors of seeing her husband fighting with the soldier, wanted to go home. She also had trouble walking without some help. As she leaned on her husband’s arm, she asked Atkinson if he would look after the children. He gladly agreed, but when he offered his hand to her, she turned him down and burst into tears. The caring mother then handed Booth over to her children and took the sergeant’s arm for support. He helped her get home safely, even though she often said she was afraid she might collapse along the way. This worry affected the sergeant deeply, as he not only held the lady in high regard, but he also knew how much his friend loved her. He found himself unable to speak; if it weren’t for his strong nerves, which kept him steady, he would have been trembling just like her.

When they arrived at the lodgings the mistress of the house opened the door, who, seeing Amelia’s condition, threw open the parlour and begged her to walk in, upon which she immediately flung herself into a chair, and all present thought she would have fainted away. However, she escaped that misery, and, having drank a glass of water with a little white wine mixed in it, she began in a little time to regain her complexion, and at length assured Booth that she was perfectly recovered, but declared she had never undergone so much, and earnestly begged him never to be so rash for the future. She then called her little boy and gently chid him, saying, “You must never do so more, Billy; you see what mischief you might have brought upon your father, and what you have made me suffer.” “La! mamma,” said the child, “what harm did I do? I did not know that people might not walk in the green fields in London. I am sure if I did a fault, the man punished me enough for it, for he pinched me almost through my slender arm.” He then bared his little arm, which was greatly discoloured by the injury it had received. Booth uttered a most dreadful execration at this sight, and the serjeant, who was now present, did the like.

When they got to the place where they were staying, the woman in charge opened the door. When she saw Amelia’s state, she opened the living room and asked her to come in. Amelia immediately collapsed into a chair, and everyone thought she might faint. Luckily, she avoided that, and after drinking a glass of water mixed with a bit of white wine, she started to regain her color and eventually told Booth that she was completely better. However, she insisted that she had never experienced anything like it before and earnestly asked him not to be so reckless in the future. She then called her little boy and gently scolded him, saying, “You must never do that again, Billy; you see the trouble you could have caused your father and what you made me go through.” “Oh, mama,” the child replied, “what harm did I do? I didn’t know people weren't allowed to walk in the green fields in London. I’m sure if I made a mistake, the man punished me enough for it because he pinched me almost through my skinny arm.” He then showed his little arm, which was badly bruised from the injury. Booth let out a terrible curse at this sight, and the sergeant, who was now there, did the same.

Atkinson now returned to his guard and went directly to the officer to acquaint him with the soldier’s inhumanity, but he, who was about fifteen years of age, gave the serjeant a great curse and said the soldier had done very well, for that idle boys ought to be corrected. This, however, did not satisfy poor Atkinson, who, the next day, as soon as the guard was relieved, beat the fellow most unmercifully, and told him he would remember him as long as he stayed in the regiment.

Atkinson went back to his post and went straight to the officer to report the soldier's cruelty, but the officer, who was around fifteen years old, harshly rebuked the sergeant and said the soldier had done just fine, claiming that lazy boys needed to be disciplined. However, this did not appease poor Atkinson, who, the next day, as soon as the guard was changed, beat the guy severely and told him he'd remember this as long as he remained in the regiment.

Thus ended this trifling adventure, which some readers will, perhaps, be pleased at seeing related at full length. None, I think, can fail drawing one observation from it, namely, how capable the most insignificant accident is of disturbing human happiness, and of producing the most unexpected and dreadful events. A reflexion which may serve to many moral and religious uses.

Thus ended this trivial adventure, which some readers might be pleased to see described in full. I believe everyone can draw one conclusion from it: how even the smallest accident can disrupt human happiness and lead to the most unexpected and terrible events. This is a reflection that can serve many moral and religious purposes.

This accident produced the first acquaintance between the mistress of the house and her lodgers; for hitherto they had scarce exchanged a word together. But the great concern which the good woman had shewn on Amelia’s account at this time, was not likely to pass unobserved or unthanked either by the husband or wife. Amelia, therefore, as soon as she was able to go up-stairs, invited Mrs. Ellison (for that was her name) to her apartment, and desired the favour of her to stay to supper. She readily complied, and they past a very agreeable evening together, in which the two women seemed to have conceived a most extraordinary liking to each other.

This accident marked the first meeting between the mistress of the house and her lodgers, as they had barely spoken to each other before this. However, the genuine concern the kind woman showed for Amelia at that moment didn't go unnoticed or unappreciated by either the husband or wife. So, as soon as Amelia was able to go upstairs, she invited Mrs. Ellison (that was her name) to her room and asked her to stay for supper. She happily agreed, and they spent a delightful evening together, during which the two women seemed to develop a remarkable fondness for each other.

Though beauty in general doth not greatly recommend one woman to another, as it is too apt to create envy, yet, in cases where this passion doth not interfere, a fine woman is often a pleasing object even to some of her own sex, especially when her beauty is attended with a certain air of affability, as was that of Amelia in the highest degree. She was, indeed, a most charming woman; and I know not whether the little scar on her nose did not rather add to than diminish her beauty.

Though beauty in general doesn't usually make one woman stand out to another, since it tends to provoke envy, there are times when this feeling doesn't come into play. A beautiful woman can still be admired by some of her own gender, especially when her attractiveness is accompanied by a friendly demeanor, like Amelia's, which was exceptional. She was truly a captivating woman, and I can't help but think that the small scar on her nose actually enhanced her beauty rather than took away from it.

Mrs. Ellison, therefore, was as much charmed with the loveliness of her fair lodger as with all her other engaging qualities. She was, indeed, so taken with Amelia’s beauty, that she could not refrain from crying out in a kind of transport of admiration, “Upon my word, Captain Booth, you are the happiest man in the world! Your lady is so extremely handsome that one cannot look at her without pleasure.”

Mrs. Ellison was just as enchanted by the beauty of her lovely guest as she was by all her other appealing traits. She was so captivated by Amelia’s looks that she couldn’t help but exclaim with genuine admiration, “Honestly, Captain Booth, you’re the luckiest man in the world! Your lady is so incredibly beautiful that it’s impossible to look at her without feeling joy.”

This good woman had herself none of these attractive charms to the eye. Her person was short and immoderately fat; her features were none of the most regular; and her complexion (if indeed she ever had a good one) had considerably suffered by time.

This good woman didn’t have any of those appealing looks. She was short and very overweight; her features weren’t very symmetrical; and her skin tone (if she ever had a nice one) had really aged over time.

Her good humour and complaisance, however, were highly pleasing to Amelia. Nay, why should we conceal the secret satisfaction which that lady felt from the compliments paid to her person? since such of my readers as like her best will not be sorry to find that she was a woman.

Her good humor and willingness to please, however, were very enjoyable to Amelia. Indeed, why should we hide the secret pleasure that she felt from the compliments about her looks? Those readers who like her the most will be glad to know that she was a woman.










Chapter viii. — Containing various matters.

A fortnight had now passed since Booth had seen or heard from the colonel, which did not a little surprize him, as they had parted so good friends, and as he had so cordially undertaken his cause concerning the memorial on which all his hopes depended.

A fortnight had now passed since Booth had seen or heard from the colonel, which surprised him quite a bit, as they had parted as good friends, and he had so enthusiastically taken on his cause regarding the memorial on which all his hopes depended.

The uneasiness which this gave him farther encreased on finding that his friend refused to see him; for he had paid the colonel a visit at nine in the morning, and was told he was not stirring; and at his return back an hour afterwards the servant said his master was gone out, of which Booth was certain of the falsehood; for he had, during that whole hour, walked backwards and forwards within sight of the colonel’s door, and must have seen him if he had gone out within that time.

The anxiety he felt grew even more when he discovered that his friend was avoiding him; he had visited the colonel at nine in the morning only to be told that he was still in bed. When he returned an hour later, the servant claimed his master had left, but Booth knew that wasn’t true. He had spent the entire hour walking back and forth in view of the colonel’s door, and he would have seen him if he had actually gone out during that time.

The good colonel, however, did not long suffer his friend to continue in the deplorable state of anxiety; for, the very next morning, Booth received his memorial enclosed in a letter, acquainting him that Mr. James had mentioned his affair to the person he proposed, but that the great man had so many engagements on his hands that it was impossible for him to make any further promises at this time.

The good colonel, however, didn’t let his friend stay in a state of worry for long; the very next morning, Booth received his request in a letter informing him that Mr. James had talked about his situation with the person he intended, but the important person had so many commitments that it was impossible for him to make any more promises right now.

The cold and distant stile of this letter, and, indeed, the whole behaviour of James, so different from what it had been formerly, had something so mysterious in it, that it greatly puzzled and perplexed poor Booth; and it was so long before he was able to solve it, that the reader’s curiosity will, perhaps, be obliged to us for not leaving him so long in the dark as to this matter. The true reason, then, of the colonel’s conduct was this: his unbounded generosity, together with the unbounded extravagance and consequently the great necessity of Miss Matthews, had at length overcome the cruelty of that lady, with whom he likewise had luckily no rival. Above all, the desire of being revenged on Booth, with whom she was to the highest degree enraged, had, perhaps, contributed not a little to his success; for she had no sooner condescended to a familiarity with her new lover, and discovered that Captain James, of whom she had heard so much from Booth, was no other than the identical colonel, than she employed every art of which she was mistress to make an utter breach of friendship between these two. For this purpose she did not scruple to insinuate that the colonel was not at all obliged to the character given of him by his friend, and to the account of this latter she placed most of the cruelty which she had shewn to the former.

The cold and distant tone of this letter, and indeed, James's entire behavior, which was so different from before, had something so mysterious about it that it greatly puzzled and confused poor Booth. It took him a long time to figure it out, and the reader will probably appreciate that we’re not leaving him in the dark about this for too long. The real reason for the colonel’s behavior was this: his complete generosity, combined with Miss Matthews's total extravagance and need, had finally broken down the lady's cruelty, especially since he had no rival. Above all, her desire for revenge on Booth, with whom she was extremely angry, likely helped his case; because as soon as she got familiar with her new lover and realized that Captain James, who she had heard so much about from Booth, was actually the same person as the colonel, she used every trick she knew to completely sever the friendship between the two of them. For this purpose, she had no qualms about suggesting that the colonel wasn’t really obligated to the opinion his friend had of him, blaming much of the cruelty she had shown towards him on the account of that same friend.

Had the colonel made a proper use of his reason, and fairly examined the probability of the fact, he could scarce have been imposed upon to believe a matter so inconsistent with all he knew of Booth, and in which that gentleman must have sinned against all the laws of honour without any visible temptation. But, in solemn fact, the colonel was so intoxicated with his love, that it was in the power of his mistress to have persuaded him of anything; besides, he had an interest in giving her credit, for he was not a little pleased with finding a reason for hating the man whom he could not help hating without any reason, at least, without any which he durst fairly assign even to himself. Henceforth, therefore, he abandoned all friendship for Booth, and was more inclined to put him out of the world than to endeavour any longer at supporting him in it.

If the colonel had used his reason properly and taken a fair look at the likelihood of the situation, he could hardly have been fooled into believing something so inconsistent with everything he knew about Booth. That gentleman must have acted against all codes of honor without any clear temptation. But in reality, the colonel was so consumed by his love that his mistress could have convinced him of anything. Plus, he had a vested interest in believing her, as he was quite pleased to find a reason to hate a man he couldn't help but dislike, even without a reason that he could honestly admit to himself. From that point on, he completely abandoned any friendship he had for Booth and was more inclined to wish him out of the world than to continue trying to support him in it.

Booth communicated this letter to his wife, who endeavoured, as usual, to the utmost of her power, to console him under one of the greatest afflictions which, I think, can befal a man, namely, the unkindness of a friend; but he had luckily at the same time the greatest blessing in his possession, the kindness of a faithful and beloved wife. A blessing, however, which, though it compensates most of the evils of life, rather serves to aggravate the misfortune of distressed circumstances, from the consideration of the share which she is to bear in them.

Booth shared this letter with his wife, who tried her best, as always, to comfort him during one of the worst hardships a person can face—the betrayal of a friend. Fortunately, he also had the greatest blessing by his side: the love and support of a caring and cherished wife. However, this blessing, while it makes up for most of life's troubles, tends to intensify the pain of difficult situations because of the burden she has to share in them.

This afternoon Amelia received a second visit from Mrs. Ellison, who acquainted her that she had a present of a ticket for the oratorio, which would carry two persons into the gallery; and therefore begged the favour of her company thither.

This afternoon, Amelia had a second visit from Mrs. Ellison, who told her that she had a ticket for the oratorio, which would admit two people to the gallery; and therefore, she kindly requested Amelia's company there.

Amelia, with many thanks, acknowledged the civility of Mrs. Ellison, but declined accepting her offer; upon which Booth very strenuously insisted on her going, and said to her, “My dear, if you knew the satisfaction I have in any of your pleasures, I am convinced you would not refuse the favour Mrs. Ellison is so kind to offer you; for, as you are a lover of music, you, who have never been at an oratorio, cannot conceive how you will be delighted.” “I well know your goodness, my dear,” answered Amelia, “but I cannot think of leaving my children without some person more proper to take care of them than this poor girl.” Mrs. Ellison removed this objection by offering her own servant, a very discreet matron, to attend them; but notwithstanding this, and all she could say, with the assistance of Booth, and of the children themselves, Amelia still persisted in her refusal; and the mistress of the house, who knew how far good breeding allows persons to be pressing on these occasions, took her leave.

Amelia gratefully acknowledged Mrs. Ellison’s kindness but turned down her offer. Booth strongly urged her to go, saying, “My dear, if you understood how happy it makes me when you enjoy yourself, I’m sure you wouldn’t refuse the kindness Mrs. Ellison is offering you. Since you love music and have never been to an oratorio, you can’t even imagine how much you would enjoy it.” “I appreciate your kindness, my dear,” Amelia replied, “but I can’t think about leaving my children without someone better suited to look after them than this poor girl.” Mrs. Ellison addressed this concern by offering her own servant, a very responsible woman, to watch them. However, despite this, and everything Booth and the children said, Amelia still held firm in her refusal. The hostess, aware of the limits of politeness in such situations, decided to take her leave.

She was no sooner departed than Amelia, looking tenderly on her husband, said, “How can you, my dear creature, think that music hath any charms for me at this time? or, indeed, do you believe that I am capable of any sensation worthy the name of pleasure when neither you nor my children are present or bear any part of it?”

She had barely left when Amelia, gazing fondly at her husband, said, “How can you, my dear, think that music has any appeal for me right now? Or do you really believe I can feel any sense of pleasure when neither you nor our children are here to share it?”

An officer of the regiment to which Booth had formerly belonged, hearing from Atkinson where he lodged, now came to pay him a visit. He told him that several of their old acquaintance were to meet the next Wednesday at a tavern, and very strongly pressed him to be one of the company. Booth was, in truth, what is called a hearty fellow, and loved now and then to take a chearful glass with his friends; but he excused himself at this time. His friend declared he would take no denial, and he growing very importunate, Amelia at length seconded him. Upon this Booth answered, “Well, my dear, since you desire me, I will comply, but on one condition, that you go at the same time to the oratorio.” Amelia thought this request reasonable enough, and gave her consent; of which Mrs. Ellison presently received the news, and with great satisfaction.

An officer from the regiment Booth used to be part of heard from Atkinson about where he was staying and decided to pay him a visit. He informed Booth that several of their old friends were planning to meet the following Wednesday at a tavern and strongly urged him to join them. Booth was, in fact, what you’d call a lively guy and enjoyed having a drink with friends from time to time, but he politely declined this time. His friend insisted he wouldn't take no for an answer, and after some persistent coaxing, Amelia joined in to support him. Booth then responded, “Alright, my dear, since you want me to go, I’ll agree, but on one condition: you also go to the oratorio at the same time.” Amelia found this request reasonable enough and agreed, which Mrs. Ellison soon heard about with great pleased.

It may perhaps be asked why Booth could go to the tavern, and not to the oratorio with his wife? In truth, then, the tavern was within hallowed ground, that is to say, in the verge of the court; for, of five officers that were to meet there, three, besides Booth, were confined to that air which hath been always found extremely wholesome to a broken military constitution. And here, if the good reader will pardon the pun, he will scarce be offended at the observation; since, how is it possible that, without running in debt, any person should maintain the dress and appearance of a gentleman whose income is not half so good as that of a porter? It is true that this allowance, small as it is, is a great expense to the public; but, if several more unnecessary charges were spared, the public might, perhaps, bear a little encrease of this without much feeling it. They would not, I am sure, have equal reason to complain at contributing to the maintenance of a sett of brave fellows, who, at the hazard of their health, their limbs, and their lives, have maintained the safety and honour of their country, as when they find themselves taxed to the support of a sett of drones, who have not the least merit or claim to their favour, and who, without contributing in any manner to the good of the hive, live luxuriously on the labours of the industrious bee.

It might be wondered why Booth could go to the tavern but not to the concert with his wife. The truth is, the tavern was considered a safe space, meaning it was close to the court; of the five officers meeting there, three, along with Booth, were dependent on the air that has always been found to be very beneficial for a weakened military constitution. And here, if the reader will forgive the pun, it’s hard not to notice the point being made; how can someone maintain the appearance and attire of a gentleman while earning less than half of what a porter makes without going into debt? It’s true that this allowance, however small, is a significant cost to the public; but if a few unnecessary expenses were cut, the public might be able to handle a little increase without too much trouble. They certainly wouldn't have as much reason to complain about contributing to the support of a group of brave individuals who risk their health, limbs, and lives to protect the safety and honor of their country as they would if they found themselves taxed to support a group of freeloaders who have no merit or claim to their favor, and who, without contributing anything to the well-being of the community, live lavishly off the efforts of the hardworking bee.










Chapter ix. — In which Amelia, with her friend, goes to the oratorio.

Nothing happened between the Monday and the Wednesday worthy a place in this history. Upon the evening of the latter the two ladies went to the oratorio, and were there time enough to get a first row in the gallery. Indeed, there was only one person in the house when they came; for Amelia’s inclinations, when she gave a loose to them, were pretty eager for this diversion, she being a great lover of music, and particularly of Mr. Handel’s compositions. Mrs. Ellison was, I suppose, a great lover likewise of music, for she was the more impatient of the two; which was rather the more extraordinary; as these entertainments were not such novelties to her as they were to poor Amelia.

Nothing significant happened between Monday and Wednesday that deserves a mention in this story. On Wednesday evening, the two ladies went to the oratorio and arrived early enough to secure a front row seat in the gallery. In fact, there was only one person in the venue when they arrived; Amelia was quite eager for this outing since she loved music, especially Mr. Handel’s compositions. Mrs. Ellison also seemed to really enjoy music, as she was the more impatient of the two, which was surprising since these events were less new to her than they were for poor Amelia.

Though our ladies arrived full two hours before they saw the back of Mr. Handel, yet this time of expectation did not hang extremely heavy on their hands; for, besides their own chat, they had the company of the gentleman whom they found at their first arrival in the gallery, and who, though plainly, or rather roughly dressed, very luckily for the women, happened to be not only well-bred, but a person of very lively conversation. The gentleman, on his part, seemed highly charmed with Amelia, and in fact was so, for, though he restrained himself entirely within the rules of good breeding, yet was he in the highest degree officious to catch at every opportunity of shewing his respect, and doing her little services. He procured her a book and wax-candle, and held the candle for her himself during the whole entertainment.

Though the women arrived a full two hours before they saw Mr. Handel leave, they didn't find the wait too unbearable; in addition to their own conversation, they had the company of a gentleman they met when they first arrived in the gallery. Although he was dressed simply, or rather roughly, he turned out to be well-mannered and had a lively conversation, which was very fortunate for the women. The gentleman seemed genuinely taken with Amelia and was, in fact, quite enamored. While he adhered completely to the rules of good manners, he was very eager to seize every opportunity to show his respect and do little favors for her. He got her a book and a wax candle, and he personally held the candle for her throughout the entire event.

At the end of the oratorio he declared he would not leave the ladies till he had seen them safe into their chairs or coach; and at the same time very earnestly entreated that he might have the honour of waiting on them. Upon which Mrs. Ellison, who was a very good-humoured woman, answered, “Ay, sure, sir, if you please; you have been very obliging to us; and a dish of tea shall be at your service at any time;” and then told him where she lived.

At the end of the oratorio, he said he wouldn't leave the ladies until he made sure they were safely settled in their chairs or carriage. He sincerely asked if he could have the honor of escorting them. Mrs. Ellison, being a very good-natured woman, replied, “Of course, sir, if you’d like; you’ve been very kind to us, and we’d be happy to serve you tea anytime.” She then told him where she lived.

The ladies were no sooner seated in their hackney coach than Mrs. Ellison burst into a loud laughter, and cried, “I’ll be hanged, madam, if you have not made a conquest to-night; and what is very pleasant, I believe the poor gentleman takes you for a single lady.” “Nay,” answered Amelia very gravely, “I protest I began to think at last he was rather too particular, though he did not venture at a word that I could be offended at; but, if you fancy any such thing, I am sorry you invited him to drink tea,” “Why so?” replied Mrs. Ellison. “Are you angry with a man for liking you? if you are, you will be angry with almost every man that sees you. If I was a man myself, I declare I should be in the number of your admirers. Poor gentleman, I pity him heartily; he little knows that you have not a heart to dispose of. For my own part, I should not be surprized at seeing a serious proposal of marriage: for I am convinced he is a man of fortune, not only by the politeness of his address, but by the fineness of his linen, and that valuable diamond ring on his finger. But you will see more of him when he comes to tea.” “Indeed I shall not,” answered Amelia, “though I believe you only rally me; I hope you have a better opinion of me than to think I would go willingly into the company of a man who had an improper liking for me.” Mrs. Ellison, who was one of the gayest women in the world, repeated the words, improper liking, with a laugh; and cried, “My dear Mrs. Booth, believe me, you are too handsome and too good-humoured for a prude. How can you affect being offended at what I am convinced is the greatest pleasure of womankind, and chiefly, I believe, of us virtuous women? for, I assure you, notwithstanding my gaiety, I am as virtuous as any prude in Europe.” “Far be it from me, madam,” said Amelia, “to suspect the contrary of abundance of women who indulge themselves in much greater freedoms than I should take, or have any pleasure in taking; for I solemnly protest, if I know my own heart, the liking of all men, but of one, is a matter quite indifferent to me, or rather would be highly disagreeable.”

The women had barely taken their seats in the carriage when Mrs. Ellison burst out laughing and said, “I swear, you must have made quite an impression tonight; and what’s even more amusing is that I think the poor guy believes you’re single.” “Well,” Amelia replied seriously, “I must admit I started to think he was being a bit too attentive, although he didn’t say anything that could offend me; but if you think that, then I regret inviting him for tea.” “Why’s that?” Mrs. Ellison asked. “Are you upset with a man for being attracted to you? If you are, you’d be annoyed with nearly every man who sees you. If I were a man, I would definitely count myself among your admirers. Poor guy, I genuinely feel sorry for him; he has no idea you don’t have a heart to give away. Honestly, I wouldn’t be shocked if he made a serious marriage proposal because I’m convinced he’s wealthy—not just because of his politeness but also because of his fine clothes and that fancy diamond ring on his finger. But you’ll see more of him when he comes for tea.” “I absolutely will not,” Amelia replied. “Even if you’re just teasing me, I hope you think better of me than to believe I’d willingly spend time with a man who had inappropriate feelings for me.” Mrs. Ellison, one of the most carefree women around, laughed and repeated the phrase "inappropriate feelings," saying, “My dear Mrs. Booth, trust me, you’re too beautiful and too cheerful to be a prude. How can you pretend to be offended by what I’m sure is one of the greatest joys for women—and especially for us virtuous ones? I assure you, despite my playful nature, I’m as virtuous as any prude in Europe.” “It’s far from me, ma’am,” Amelia replied, “to assume otherwise about many women who allow themselves much greater liberties than I would ever consider or enjoy; because, I solemnly declare, if I know my own heart, the affection of all men, except one, means nothing to me—or would actually be very unpleasant.”

This discourse brought them home, where Amelia, finding her children asleep, and her husband not returned, invited her companion to partake of her homely fare, and down they sat to supper together. The clock struck twelve; and, no news being arrived of Booth, Mrs. Ellison began to express some astonishment at his stay, whence she launched into a general reflexion on husbands, and soon passed to some particular invectives on her own. “Ah, my dear madam,” says she, “I know the present state of your mind, by what I have myself often felt formerly. I am no stranger to the melancholy tone of a midnight clock. It was my misfortune to drag on a heavy chain above fifteen years with a sottish yoke-fellow. But how can I wonder at my fate, since I see even your superior charms cannot confine a husband from the bewitching pleasures of a bottle?” “Indeed, madam,” says Amelia, “I have no reason to complain; Mr. Booth is one of the soberest of men; but now and then to spend a late hour with his friend is, I think, highly excusable.” “O, no doubt! “cries Mrs. Ellison, “if he can excuse himself; but if I was a man—” Here Booth came in and interrupted the discourse. Amelia’s eyes flashed with joy the moment he appeared; and he discovered no less pleasure in seeing her. His spirits were indeed a little elevated with wine, so as to heighten his good humour, without in the least disordering his understanding, and made him such delightful company, that, though it was past one in the morning, neither his wife nor Mrs. Ellison thought of their beds during a whole hour.

This conversation took them home, where Amelia, finding her children asleep and her husband not back yet, invited her friend to share her simple meal, and they sat down to dinner together. The clock struck midnight, and with no news of Booth, Mrs. Ellison started to express some surprise at how late he was, which led her to general comments about husbands, and soon she launched into specific criticisms about her own. “Ah, my dear,” she said, “I know what you’re feeling because I’ve felt it myself before. I’m no stranger to the sad toll of a midnight clock. I was unfortunate enough to drag on a heavy chain for over fifteen years with a drunken husband. But why should I be surprised at my fate when I see that even your greater charms can’t keep a husband away from the tempting pleasures of a drink?” “Honestly, madam,” Amelia replied, “I have no reason to complain; Mr. Booth is one of the most sober men I know, but occasionally spending a late night with a friend is, I think, perfectly understandable.” “Oh, of course!” exclaimed Mrs. Ellison, “if he can justify it. But if I were a man—” Just then, Booth walked in and interrupted the conversation. Amelia’s face lit up with joy at the sight of him, and he looked just as pleased to see her. His spirits were indeed a bit lifted by the wine, which boosted his good mood without clouding his judgment, and he was such delightful company that, even though it was past one in the morning, neither his wife nor Mrs. Ellison thought about going to bed for an entire hour.

Early the next morning the serjeant came to Mr. Booth’s lodgings, and with a melancholy countenance acquainted him that he had been the night before at an alehouse, where he heard one Mr. Murphy, an attorney, declare that he would get a warrant backed against one Captain Booth at the next board of greencloth. “I hope, sir,” said he, “your honour will pardon me, but, by what he said, I was afraid he meant your honour; and therefore I thought it my duty to tell you; for I knew the same thing happen to a gentleman here the other day.”

Early the next morning, the sergeant came to Mr. Booth’s place and with a sad expression informed him that he had been at a bar the night before, where he overheard a Mr. Murphy, an attorney, say that he was going to get a warrant issued against someone named Captain Booth at the next board of green cloth. “I hope you won’t mind me saying this, sir,” he said, “but based on what he said, I was worried he meant you; and I thought it was my duty to let you know, since I heard something similar happened to a gentleman here not long ago.”

Booth gave Mr. Atkinson many thanks for his information. “I doubt not,” said he, “but I am the person meant; for it would be foolish in me to deny that I am liable to apprehensions of that sort.” “I hope, sir,” said the serjeant, “your honour will soon have reason to fear no man living; but in the mean time, if any accident should happen, my bail is at your service as far as it will go; and I am a housekeeper, and can swear myself worth one hundred pounds.” Which hearty and friendly declaration received all those acknowledgments from Booth which it really deserved.

Booth thanked Mr. Atkinson for the information. “I won’t deny,” he said, “that I’m probably the person you’re talking about; it would be silly of me to pretend that I don’t have worries like that.” “I hope, sir,” the sergeant replied, “that soon you won’t have to fear anyone. But in the meantime, if anything happens, I can act as your bail as much as I can; I’m a housekeeper and can swear I’m worth one hundred pounds.” Booth expressed his gratitude for this genuine and friendly offer, as it truly deserved.

The poor gentleman was greatly alarmed at the news; but he was altogether as much surprized at Murphy’s being the attorney employed against him, as all his debts, except only to Captain James, arose in the country, where he did not know that Mr. Murphy had any acquaintance. However, he made no doubt that he was the person intended, and resolved to remain a close prisoner in his own lodgings, till he saw the event of a proposal which had been made him the evening before at the tavern, where an honest gentleman, who had a post under the government, and who was one of the company, had promised to serve him with the secretary at war, telling him that he made no doubt of procuring him whole pay in a regiment abroad, which in his present circumstances was very highly worth his acceptance, when, indeed, that and a gaol seemed to be the only alternatives that offered themselves to his choice.

The poor man was really shaken by the news; but he was just as surprised that Murphy was the lawyer hired against him, since all his debts, except to Captain James, were from the countryside, where he didn’t think Mr. Murphy had any connections. Still, he had no doubt that Murphy was the one being referred to, and decided to stay locked up in his own place until he saw how things turned out from a proposal he received the night before at the tavern. An honest man, who held a government position and was part of the gathering, had promised to help him with the secretary at war, saying he was confident he could secure him full pay in a regiment overseas, which, given his current situation, was definitely worth considering—since, really, that and jail seemed to be the only options he had.

Mr. Booth and his lady spent that afternoon with Mrs. Ellison—an incident which we should scarce have mentioned, had it not been that Amelia gave, on this occasion, an instance of that prudence which should never be off its guard in married women of delicacy; for, before she would consent to drink tea with Mrs. Ellison, she made conditions that the gentleman who had met them at the oratorio should not be let in. Indeed, this circumspection proved unnecessary in the present instance, for no such visitor ever came; a circumstance which gave great content to Amelia; for that lady had been a little uneasy at the raillery of Mrs. Ellison, and had upon reflexion magnified every little compliment made her, and every little civility shewn her by the unknown gentleman, far beyond the truth. These imaginations now all subsided again; and she imputed all that Mrs. Ellison had said either to raillery or mistake.

Mr. Booth and his partner spent that afternoon with Mrs. Ellison—something we might not have mentioned if not for Amelia demonstrating that caution that married women of grace should always maintain; before she agreed to have tea with Mrs. Ellison, she insisted that the man who had met them at the concert not be allowed in. In fact, this caution turned out to be unnecessary this time, as no such visitor ever showed up, which greatly pleased Amelia. She had been a bit uneasy about Mrs. Ellison’s teasing and had, upon reflection, exaggerated every little compliment and every tiny kindness shown to her by the unknown man far beyond reality. These worries faded away, and she attributed everything Mrs. Ellison had said to either teasing or misunderstanding.

A young lady made a fourth with them at whist, and likewise stayed the whole evening. Her name was Bennet. She was about the age of five-and-twenty; but sickness had given her an older look, and had a good deal diminished her beauty; of which, young as she was, she plainly appeared to have only the remains in her present possession. She was in one particular the very reverse of Mrs. Ellison, being altogether as remarkably grave as the other was gay. This gravity was not, however, attended with any sourness of temper; on the contrary, she had much sweetness in her countenance, and was perfectly well bred. In short, Amelia imputed her grave deportment to her ill health, and began to entertain a compassion for her, which in good minds, that is to say, in minds capable of compassion, is certain to introduce some little degree of love or friendship.

A young woman joined them for a game of whist and stayed the entire evening. Her name was Bennet. She was about twenty-five years old, but illness had given her an older appearance, and it had significantly reduced her beauty; despite her youth, it seemed she only had remnants of it left. In one way, she was the complete opposite of Mrs. Ellison, being as serious as the other was cheerful. However, this seriousness didn’t come off as bitterness; on the contrary, she had a lot of sweetness in her expression and was very well-mannered. In short, Amelia thought her serious demeanor was due to her poor health and began to feel compassion for her, which, in good-hearted people—those capable of compassion—often leads to some level of love or friendship.

Amelia was in short so pleased with the conversation of this lady, that, though a woman of no impertinent curiosity, she could not help taking the first opportunity of enquiring who she was. Mrs. Ellison said that she was an unhappy lady, who had married a young clergyman for love, who, dying of a consumption, had left her a widow in very indifferent circumstances. This account made Amelia still pity her more, and consequently added to the liking which she had already conceived for her. Amelia, therefore, desired Mrs. Ellison to bring her acquainted with Mrs. Bennet, and said she would go any day with her to make that lady a visit. “There need be no ceremony,” cried Mrs. Ellison; “she is a woman of no form; and, as I saw plainly she was extremely pleased with Mrs. Booth, I am convinced I can bring her to drink tea with you any afternoon you please.”

Amelia was so pleased with this woman's conversation that, even though she wasn't the type to be overly curious, she couldn't help but ask who she was as soon as she got the chance. Mrs. Ellison explained that she was an unhappy lady who had married a young clergyman for love, but he had sadly died from tuberculosis, leaving her a widow in not-so-great circumstances. Hearing this made Amelia feel even more sympathy for her, which only increased the fondness she had already developed. So, Amelia asked Mrs. Ellison to introduce her to Mrs. Bennet and mentioned that she would visit her any day. "There’s no need for any formalities," Mrs. Ellison exclaimed; "she's a woman who doesn't care for that kind of thing, and since I could see she was very pleased with Mrs. Booth, I’m sure I can get her to come over for tea any afternoon you want."

The two next days Booth continued at home, highly to the satisfaction of his Amelia, who really knew no happiness out of his company, nor scarce any misery in it. She had, indeed, at all times so much of his company, when in his power, that she had no occasion to assign any particular reason for his staying with her, and consequently it could give her no cause of suspicion. The Saturday, one of her children was a little disordered with a feverish complaint which confined her to her room, and prevented her drinking tea in the afternoon with her husband in Mrs. Ellison’s apartment, where a noble lord, a cousin of Mrs. Ellison’s, happened to be present; for, though that lady was reduced in her circumstances and obliged to let out part of her house in lodgings, she was born of a good family and had some considerable relations.

For the next two days, Booth stayed at home, much to the delight of Amelia, who found her happiness solely in his company and very little misery in it. She always had enough of his presence when he was around, so she didn’t feel the need to find a specific reason for him being with her, which gave her no reason to doubt him. On Saturday, one of her children had a mild fever that kept her in her room, preventing her from joining her husband for tea in Mrs. Ellison’s apartment, where a noble lord, a cousin of Mrs. Ellison, was visiting. Even though Mrs. Ellison had fallen on hard times and rented out part of her house, she came from a good family and had some significant connections.

His lordship was not himself in any office of state, but his fortune gave him great authority with those who were. Mrs. Ellison, therefore, very bluntly took an opportunity of recommending Booth to his consideration. She took the first hint from my lord’s calling the gentleman captain; to which she answered, “Ay, I wish your lordship would make him so. It would be an act of justice, and I know it is in your power to do much greater things.” She then mentioned Booth’s services, and the wounds he had received at the siege, of which she had heard a faithful account from Amelia. Booth blushed, and was as silent as a young virgin at the hearing her own praises. His lordship answered, “Cousin Ellison, you know you may command my interest; nay, I shall have a pleasure in serving one of Mr. Booth’s character: for my part, I think merit in all capacities ought to be encouraged, but I know the ministry are greatly pestered with solicitations at this time. However, Mr. Booth may be assured I will take the first opportunity; and in the mean time, I shall be glad of seeing him any morning he pleases.” For all these declarations Booth was not wanting in acknowledgments to the generous peer any more than he was in secret gratitude to the lady who had shewn so friendly and uncommon a zeal in his favour.

His lordship wasn’t really engaged in any state duties, but his wealth gave him a lot of influence with those who were. So, Mrs. Ellison straightforwardly took the chance to recommend Booth to him. She started with my lord calling the gentleman captain, to which she replied, “Yes, I wish your lordship would make him one. It would be a matter of justice, and I know you have the power to do even greater things.” She then talked about Booth’s contributions and the injuries he sustained during the siege, which she learned about from Amelia. Booth blushed and was as quiet as a young woman hearing her own praises. His lordship responded, “Cousin Ellison, you know you have my support; in fact, I’d be happy to assist someone of Mr. Booth’s character. I believe that merit should be recognized in all areas, but I do know the ministry is really overwhelmed with requests right now. Nonetheless, Mr. Booth can be assured that I will take the first chance I get; in the meantime, I’d be pleased to see him any morning he wishes.” For all these assurances, Booth didn’t hold back in showing gratitude to the generous peer, just as he felt deep gratitude towards the lady who had shown such a rare and kind enthusiasm for his case.

The reader, when he knows the character of this nobleman, may, perhaps, conclude that his seeing Booth alone was a lucky circumstance, for he was so passionate an admirer of women, that he could scarce have escaped the attraction of Amelia’s beauty. And few men, as I have observed, have such disinterested generosity as to serve a husband the better because they are in love with his wife, unless she will condescend to pay a price beyond the reach of a virtuous woman.

The reader, knowing the character of this nobleman, might conclude that his seeing Booth alone was a fortunate event, because he was such a passionate admirer of women that he could hardly resist the allure of Amelia’s beauty. And few men, as I’ve noticed, have the kind of selfless generosity that leads them to help a husband more just because they are in love with his wife, unless she is willing to offer something that goes beyond what a virtuous woman would give.

END OF VOL. I.










VOL. II.










BOOK V.










Chapter i. — In which the reader will meet with an old acquaintance.

Booth’s affairs were put on a better aspect than they had ever worn before, and he was willing to make use of the opportunity of one day in seven to taste the fresh air.

Booth's situation looked better than it ever had before, and he was eager to take advantage of the chance to enjoy the fresh air one day a week.

At nine in the morning he went to pay a visit to his old friend Colonel James, resolving, if possible, to have a full explanation of that behaviour which appeared to him so mysterious: but the colonel was as inaccessible as the best defended fortress; and it was as impossible for Booth to pass beyond his entry as the Spaniards found it to take Gibraltar. He received the usual answers; first, that the colonel was not stirring, and an hour after that he was gone out. All that he got by asking further questions was only to receive still ruder answers, by which, if he had been very sagacious, he might have been satisfied how little worth his while it was to desire to go in; for the porter at a great man’s door is a kind of thermometer, by which you may discover the warmth or coldness of his master’s friendship. Nay, in the highest stations of all, as the great man himself hath his different kinds of salutation, from an hearty embrace with a kiss, and my dear lord or dear Sir Charles, down to, well Mr.——, what would you have me do? so the porter to some bows with respect, to others with a smile, to some he bows more, to others less low, to others not at all. Some he just lets in, and others he just shuts out. And in all this they so well correspond, that one would be inclined to think that the great man and his porter had compared their lists together, and, like two actors concerned to act different parts in the same scene, had rehearsed their parts privately together before they ventured to perform in public.

At nine in the morning, he went to visit his old friend Colonel James, hoping to get a complete explanation for the behavior that seemed so mysterious to him. But the colonel was as unreachable as a highly fortified fortress; and it was as impossible for Booth to get past the entrance as the Spaniards found it to capture Gibraltar. He received the usual responses: first, that the colonel wasn’t available, and an hour later, that he had gone out. The only things he got from asking more questions were ruder replies, which, if he had been clever, might have shown him how little it was worth trying to get in. The doorman at a powerful person's door is like a thermometer you can use to gauge the warmth or coldness of the master's friendship. Even at the highest levels, just like the powerful man has different ways of greeting people—from a heartfelt hug with a kiss and “my dear lord” or “dear Sir Charles” to, “Well Mr. —, what do you want me to do?”—the doorman bows to some with respect, to others with a smile, bows lower to some and less to others, and sometimes not at all. Some he lets in quickly, and others he shuts out. All this works so smoothly that one might think the powerful man and his doorman have compared their lists together, and like two actors preparing to play different roles in the same scene, have practiced their parts privately before performing in public.

Though Booth did not, perhaps, see the whole matter in this just light, for that in reality it is, yet he was discerning enough to conclude, from the behaviour of the servant, especially when he considered that of the master likewise, that he had entirely lost the friendship of James; and this conviction gave him a concern that not only the flattering prospect of his lordship’s favour was not able to compensate, but which even obliterated, and made him for a while forget the situation in which he had left his Amelia: and he wandered about almost two hours, scarce knowing where he went, till at last he dropt into a coffee-house near St James’s, where he sat himself down.

Though Booth may not have fully understood the situation, he was perceptive enough to realize from the servant's behavior, especially when he considered the master's actions as well, that he had completely lost James's friendship. This realization troubled him in a way that not even the tempting idea of his lordship’s support could offset. It even overshadowed his worries about the situation he had left Amelia in. He wandered around for almost two hours, hardly aware of where he was going, until he finally ended up in a coffee house near St. James’s, where he sat down.

He had scarce drank his dish of coffee before he heard a young officer of the guards cry to another, “Od, d—n me, Jack, here he comes—here’s old honour and dignity, faith.” Upon which he saw a chair open, and out issued a most erect and stately figure indeed, with a vast periwig on his head, and a vast hat under his arm. This august personage, having entered the room, walked directly up to the upper end, where having paid his respects to all present of any note, to each according to seniority, he at last cast his eyes on Booth, and very civilly, though somewhat coldly, asked him how he did.

He had barely finished his cup of coffee when he heard a young officer in the guards shout to another, “Oh, damn it, Jack, here he comes—here’s old honor and dignity, for sure.” At that, he noticed an empty chair, and out walked a very upright and impressive figure, wearing a large wig on his head and holding a big hat under his arm. This important person, upon entering the room, walked straight to the front, where he acknowledged everyone notable present, greeting each according to their seniority. Finally, he turned his attention to Booth and politely, though a bit coldly, asked him how he was doing.

Booth, who had long recognized the features of his old acquaintance Major Bath, returned the compliment with a very low bow; but did not venture to make the first advance to familiarity, as he was truly possessed of that quality which the Greeks considered in the highest light of honour, and which we term modesty; though indeed, neither ours nor the Latin language hath any word adequate to the idea of the original.

Booth, who had long recognized the face of his old friend Major Bath, returned the compliment with a deep bow; but he didn't dare to be the first to act familiar, as he genuinely had that quality which the Greeks valued most highly—what we call modesty; though, in truth, neither our language nor Latin has a word that fully captures the essence of the original.

The colonel, after having discharged himself of two or three articles of news, and made his comments upon them, when the next chair to him became vacant, called upon Booth to fill it. He then asked him several questions relating to his affairs; and, when he heard he was out of the army, advised him earnestly to use all means to get in again, saying that he was a pretty lad, and they must not lose him.

The colonel, after sharing two or three news items and offering his opinions on them, called Booth to take the next available chair next to him. He then asked him several questions about his situation, and when he learned that Booth was out of the army, he strongly encouraged him to do whatever it took to rejoin, saying that he was a good-looking young man and they couldn’t afford to lose him.

Booth told him in a whisper that he had a great deal to say to him on that subject if they were in a more private place; upon this the colonel proposed a walk in the Park, which the other readily accepted.

Booth whispered to him that he had a lot to discuss about that topic if they were in a more private location; in response, the colonel suggested a walk in the Park, which the other agreed to immediately.

During their walk Booth opened his heart, and, among other matters, acquainted Colonel Bath that he feared he had lost the friendship of Colonel James; “though I am not,” said he, “conscious of having done the least thing to deserve it.”

During their walk, Booth opened up, and, among other things, told Colonel Bath that he was worried he had lost Colonel James’s friendship; “though I am not,” he said, “aware of doing anything to deserve it.”

Bath answered, “You are certainly mistaken, Mr. Booth. I have indeed scarce seen my brother since my coming to town; for I have been here but two days; however, I am convinced he is a man of too nice honour to do anything inconsistent with the true dignity of a gentleman.” Booth answered, “He was far from accusing him of anything dishonourable.”—“D—n me,” said Bath, “if there is a man alive can or dare accuse him: if you have the least reason to take anything ill, why don’t you go to him? you are a gentleman, and his rank doth not protect him from giving you satisfaction.” “The affair is not of any such kind,” says Booth; “I have great obligations to the colonel, and have more reason to lament than complain; and, if I could but see him, I am convinced I should have no cause for either; but I cannot get within his house; it was but an hour ago a servant of his turned me rudely from the door.” “Did a servant of my brother use you rudely?” said the colonel, with the utmost gravity. “I do not know, sir, in what light you see such things; but, to me, the affront of a servant is the affront of the master; and if he doth not immediately punish it, by all the dignity of a man, I would see the master’s nose between my fingers.” Booth offered to explain, but to no purpose; the colonel was got into his stilts; and it was impossible to take him down, nay, it was as much as Booth could possibly do to part with him without an actual quarrel; nor would he, perhaps, have been able to have accomplished it, had not the colonel by accident turned at last to take Booth’s side of the question; and before they separated he swore many oaths that James should give him proper satisfaction.

Bath replied, “You’re definitely wrong, Mr. Booth. I’ve hardly seen my brother since I arrived in town; I’ve only been here for two days. Still, I’m sure he’s a man of such honor that he wouldn’t do anything unworthy of a gentleman.” Booth responded, “I’m not accusing him of anything dishonorable.” “Damn it,” said Bath, “no one alive can or would accuse him. If you have any reason to be upset, why don’t you confront him? You’re a gentleman, and his status doesn’t shield him from giving you satisfaction.” “This isn’t about that,” Booth said. “I owe a lot to the colonel and have more reason to regret than complain. If I could just see him, I’m sure I wouldn’t feel this way, but I can’t get into his house; just an hour ago, one of his servants shoved me away from the door.” “Did a servant of my brother treat you rudely?” the colonel asked seriously. “I don’t know how you see such things, sir, but to me, a servant’s disrespect is the master’s disrespect. If he doesn’t deal with it immediately, I’d want to have my hands on the master’s nose,” Booth said. He tried to explain, but it was no use; the colonel was being stubborn, and it was hard for Booth to walk away without an actual fight. He might not have been able to avoid it if the colonel hadn’t coincidentally taken Booth’s side before they parted, and before they separated, he swore a number of oaths that James would provide him with proper satisfaction.

Such was the end of this present interview, so little to the content of Booth, that he was heartily concerned he had ever mentioned a syllable of the matter to his honourable friend.

Such was the end of this current meeting, leaving Booth so dissatisfied that he deeply regretted ever bringing up the topic with his esteemed friend.

{This chapter occurs in the original edition of Amelia, between 1 and 2. It is omitted later, and would have been omitted here but for an accident. As it had been printed it may as well appear: for though it has no great value it may interest some readers as an additional illustration of Fielding’s dislike to doctors.—ED.

{This chapter appears in the original edition of Amelia, between 1 and 2. It's left out in later editions, and would have been excluded here too if not for an oversight. Since it was printed, it might as well be included: although it doesn't hold much value, it could interest some readers as another example of Fielding's disdain for doctors.—ED.}

Containing a brace of doctors and much physical matter.

Featuring a couple of doctors and a lot of physical elements.

He now returned with all his uneasiness to Amelia, whom he found in a condition very little adapted to relieve or comfort him. That poor woman was now indeed under very great apprehensions for her child, whose fever now began to rage very violently: and what was worse, an apothecary had been with her, and frightened her almost out of her wits. He had indeed represented the case of the child to be very desperate, and had prevailed on the mother to call in the assistance of a doctor.

He returned to Amelia, feeling anxious, but found her in a state that was hardly comforting. That poor woman was extremely worried about her child, whose fever was now getting out of control. To make matters worse, a pharmacist had visited her and had scared her nearly to death. He had painted the child's situation as very serious and convinced the mother to seek help from a doctor.

Booth had been a very little time in the room before this doctor arrived, with the apothecary close at his heels, and both approached the bed, where the former felt the pulse of the sick, and performed several other physical ceremonies.

Booth had barely been in the room for a moment before the doctor arrived, with the apothecary right behind him. They both went to the bed, where the doctor checked the sick person's pulse and did several other medical examinations.

He then began to enquire of the apothecary what he had already done for the patient; all which, as soon as informed, he greatly approved. The doctor then sat down, called for a pen and ink, filled a whole side of a sheet of paper with physic, then took a guinea, and took his leave; the apothecary waiting upon him downstairs, as he had attended him up.

He then started to ask the apothecary what he had already done for the patient; after hearing this, he was very pleased. The doctor then sat down, asked for a pen and ink, filled an entire side of a sheet of paper with prescriptions, then took a guinea and said goodbye; the apothecary accompanied him downstairs, just as he had done when he first arrived.

All that night both Amelia and Booth sat up with their child, who rather grew worse than better. In the morning Mrs. Ellison found the infant in a raging fever, burning hot, and very light-headed, and the mother under the highest dejection; for the distemper had not given the least ground to all the efforts of the apothecary and doctor, but seemed to defy their utmost power, with all that tremendous apparatus of phials and gallypots, which were arranged in battle-array all over the room.

All night, both Amelia and Booth stayed up with their child, who was getting worse instead of better. In the morning, Mrs. Ellison found the baby with a raging fever, extremely hot, and very disoriented, while the mother was in deep despair; the illness had resisted all efforts from the pharmacist and doctor, seemingly ignoring their best attempts, along with the overwhelming collection of bottles and jars laid out like a battlefield all over the room.

Mrs. Ellison, seeing the distrest, and indeed distracted, condition of Amelia’s mind, attempted to comfort her by giving her hopes of the child’s recovery. “Upon my word, madam,” says she, “I saw a child of much the same age with miss, who, in my opinion, was much worse, restored to health in a few days by a physician of my acquaintance. Nay, I have known him cure several others of very bad fevers; and, if miss was under his care, I dare swear she would do very well.” “Good heavens! madam,” answered Amelia, “why should you not mention him to me? For my part I have no acquaintance with any London physicians, nor do I know whom the apothecary hath brought me.” “Nay, madam,” cries Mrs. Ellison, “it is a tender thing, you know, to recommend a physician; and as for my doctor, there are abundance of people who give him an ill name. Indeed, it is true, he hath cured me twice of fevers, and so he hath several others to my knowledge; nay, I never heard of any more than one of his patients that died; and yet, as the doctors and apothecaries all give him an ill character, one is fearful, you know, dear madam.” Booth enquired the doctor’s name, which he no sooner heard than he begged his wife to send for him immediately, declaring he had heard the highest character imaginable of him at the Tavern from an officer of very good understanding. Amelia presently complied, and a messenger was despatched accordingly.

Mrs. Ellison, noticing Amelia's distressed and clearly frazzled state of mind, tried to comfort her by offering hope for the child's recovery. "Honestly, madam," she said, "I saw a child about the same age as yours, who I think was in much worse shape, recover in just a few days thanks to a doctor I know. In fact, I've seen him treat several others with severe fevers, and I swear if your child was under his care, she would be just fine." "Good heavens! madam," Amelia replied, "why haven't you mentioned him to me? I don't know any doctors in London, nor do I know who the apothecary has sent me." "Well, madam," Mrs. Ellison replied, "it's a delicate matter to recommend a doctor, you know, and my doctor has a bit of a bad reputation among some. It's true he's cured me of fevers twice, and he has helped several others that I know of. I've only heard of one patient of his who died. But since so many doctors and apothecaries speak poorly of him, it makes one nervous, you know, dear madam." Booth asked for the doctor’s name, and as soon as he heard it, he urged his wife to send for him right away, claiming he had heard nothing but good things about him from a well-informed officer at the Tavern. Amelia quickly agreed, and a messenger was dispatched immediately.

But before the second doctor could be brought, the first returned with the apothecary attending him as before. He again surveyed and handled the sick; and when Amelia begged him to tell her if there was any hopes, he shook his head, and said, “To be sure, madam, miss is in a very dangerous condition, and there is no time to lose. If the blisters which I shall now order her, should not relieve her, I fear we can do no more.”—“Would not you please, sir,” says the apothecary, “to have the powders and the draught repeated?” “How often were they ordered?” cries the doctor. “Only tertia quaq. hora,” says the apothecary. “Let them be taken every hour by all means,” cries the doctor; “and—let me see, pray get me a pen and ink.”—“If you think the child in such imminent danger,” said Booth, “would you give us leave to call in another physician to your assistance—indeed my wife”—“Oh, by all means,” said the doctor, “it is what I very much wish. Let me see, Mr. Arsenic, whom shall we call?” “What do you think of Dr Dosewell?” said the apothecary.—“Nobody better,” cries the physician.—“I should have no objection to the gentleman,” answered Booth, “but another hath been recommended to my wife.” He then mentioned the physician for whom they had just before sent. “Who, sir?” cries the doctor, dropping his pen; and when Booth repeated the name of Thompson, “Excuse me, sir,” cries the doctor hastily, “I shall not meet him.”—“Why so, sir?” answered Booth. “I will not meet him,” replied the doctor. “Shall I meet a man who pretends to know more than the whole College, and would overturn the whole method of practice, which is so well established, and from which no one person hath pretended to deviate?” “Indeed, sir,” cries the apothecary, “you do not know what you are about, asking your pardon; why, he kills everybody he comes near.” “That is not true,” said Mrs. Ellison. “I have been his patient twice, and I am alive yet.” “You have had good luck, then, madam,” answered the apothecary, “for he kills everybody he comes near.” “Nay, I know above a dozen others of my own acquaintance,” replied Mrs. Ellison, “who have all been cured by him.” “That may be, madam,” cries Arsenic; “but he kills everybody for all that—why, madam, did you never hear of Mr. ——? I can’t think of the gentleman’s name, though he was a man of great fashion; but everybody knows whom I mean.” “Everybody, indeed, must know whom you mean,” answered Mrs. Ellison; “for I never heard but of one, and that many years ago.”

But before they could bring in the second doctor, the first one returned with the pharmacist, just like before. He examined the sick person again, and when Amelia asked him if there was any hope, he shook his head and said, “Of course, madam, she is in a very serious condition, and we can’t waste any time. If the blisters I’m about to order don’t help her, I fear we won’t be able to do anything else.” “Would you please, sir,” said the pharmacist, “repeat the powders and the mixture?” “How often were they prescribed?” the doctor asked. “Only every third hour,” replied the pharmacist. “Let’s have them taken every hour, then,” the doctor exclaimed; “and—let me see, can you please get me a pen and paper?” “If you think the child is in such immediate danger,” Booth said, “would you allow us to call in another doctor for your assistance—really, my wife—” “Oh, absolutely,” the doctor said, “that’s exactly what I want. Let’s see, Mr. Arsenic, who should we call?” “What do you think of Dr. Dosewell?” asked the pharmacist. “No one better,” the physician replied. “I wouldn’t object to that gentleman,” Booth answered, “but another doctor has been recommended to my wife.” He then mentioned the doctor they had just recently sent for. “Who, sir?” the doctor exclaimed, dropping his pen; and when Booth repeated the name Thompson, the doctor quickly said, “Excuse me, sir, I won’t work with him.” “Why not, sir?” Booth asked. “I won’t work with him,” the doctor insisted. “Should I work with a man who claims to know more than the entire College and would completely change the well-established method of practice, from which no one has dared to deviate?” “Indeed, sir,” the pharmacist interjected, “you don’t know what you’re talking about, with all due respect; he kills everyone he gets near.” “That’s not true,” Mrs. Ellison countered. “I’ve been his patient twice, and I’m still alive.” “You’ve been lucky, then, madam,” the pharmacist replied, “because he kills everyone he gets near.” “Well, I personally know over a dozen people who have been cured by him,” Mrs. Ellison said. “That may be so, madam,” Arsenic replied; “but he kills everyone regardless—madam, didn’t you ever hear of Mr. ——? I can’t remember the gentleman’s name, though he was quite notable; but everyone knows who I mean.” “Everyone must indeed know who you mean,” Mrs. Ellison answered; “because I’ve only heard of one, and that was many years ago.”

Before the dispute was ended, the doctor himself entered the room. As he was a very well-bred and very good-natured man, he addressed himself with much civility to his brother physician, who was not quite so courteous on his side. However, he suffered the new comer to be conducted to the sick-bed, and at Booth’s earnest request to deliver his opinion.

Before the argument was settled, the doctor came into the room himself. Being a well-mannered and kind man, he spoke politely to his fellow doctor, who wasn't as courteous in return. Nevertheless, he allowed the newcomer to be taken to the sickbed and, at Booth's strong request, to share his opinion.

The dispute which ensued between the two physicians would, perhaps, be unintelligible to any but those of the faculty, and not very entertaining to them. The character which the officer and Mrs. Ellison had given of the second doctor had greatly prepossessed Booth in his favour, and indeed his reasoning seemed to be the juster. Booth therefore declared that he would abide by his advice, upon which the former operator, with his zany, the apothecary, quitted the field, and left the other in full possession of the sick.

The argument that broke out between the two doctors would probably only make sense to those in the medical field, and even then, it wouldn’t be very entertaining for them. The impression that the officer and Mrs. Ellison had given about the second doctor had really swayed Booth to like him, and honestly, his reasoning seemed more sound. So, Booth decided to follow his advice, which led the first doctor and his sidekick, the pharmacist, to leave the situation and let the other doctor take charge of the patient.

The first thing the new doctor did was (to use his own phrase) to blow up the physical magazine. All the powders and potions instantly disappeared at his command; for he said there was a much readier and nearer way to convey such stuff to the vault, than by first sending it through the human body. He then ordered the child to be blooded, gave it a clyster and some cooling physic, and, in short (that I may not dwell too long on so unpleasing a part of history), within three days cured the little patient of her distemper, to the great satisfaction of Mrs. Ellison, and to the vast joy of Amelia.

The first thing the new doctor did was, in his own words, to get rid of all the physical remedies. All the powders and potions vanished instantly at his command because he claimed there was a much easier and closer way to get that stuff to the vault than by first passing it through the human body. He then ordered the child to have blood drawn, gave her an enema and some cooling medicine, and, to sum it up (so I don't linger too long on such an unpleasant part of the story), within three days, he cured the little patient of her illness, much to Mrs. Ellison's satisfaction and Amelia's immense joy.

Some readers will, perhaps, think this whole chapter might have been omitted; but though it contains no great matter of amusement, it may at least serve to inform posterity concerning the present state of physic.}

Some readers might think this entire chapter could have been left out; however, even though it doesn’t have much entertainment value, it can at least help future generations understand the current state of medicine.










Chapter ii. — In which Booth pays a visit to the noble lord.

When that day of the week returned in which Mr. Booth chose to walk abroad, he went to wait on the noble peer, according to his kind invitation.

When that day of the week came around when Mr. Booth decided to go out, he went to visit the noble peer, as he had kindly invited him.

Booth now found a very different reception with this great man’s porter from what he had met with at his friend the colonel’s. He no sooner told his name than the porter with a bow told him his lordship was at home: the door immediately flew wide open, and he was conducted to an ante-chamber, where a servant told him he would acquaint his lordship with his arrival. Nor did he wait many minutes before the same servant returned and ushered him to his lordship’s apartment.

Booth now encountered a very different welcome from this great man’s porter compared to what he had experienced at his friend the colonel’s. As soon as he mentioned his name, the porter, with a bow, informed him that his lordship was at home: the door instantly swung wide open, and he was taken to an antechamber, where a servant told him he would let his lordship know he had arrived. He didn’t have to wait long before the same servant returned and led him to his lordship’s room.

He found my lord alone, and was received by him in the most courteous manner imaginable. After the first ceremonials were over, his lordship began in the following words: “Mr. Booth, I do assure you, you are very much obliged to my cousin Ellison. She hath given you such a character, that I shall have a pleasure in doing anything in my power to serve you.—But it will be very difficult, I am afraid, to get you a rank at home. In the West Indies, perhaps, or in some regiment abroad, it may be more easy; and, when I consider your reputation as a soldier, I make no doubt of your readiness to go to any place where the service of your country shall call you.” Booth answered, “That he was highly obliged to his lordship, and assured him he would with great chearfulness attend his duty in any part of the world. The only thing grievous in the exchange of countries,” said he, “in my opinion, is to leave those I love behind me, and I am sure I shall never have a second trial equal to my first. It was very hard, my lord, to leave a young wife big with her first child, and so affected with my absence, that I had the utmost reason to despair of ever seeing her more. After such a demonstration of my resolution to sacrifice every other consideration to my duty, I hope your lordship will honour me with some confidence that I shall make no objection to serve in any country.”—“My dear Mr. Booth,” answered the lord, “you speak like a soldier, and I greatly honour your sentiments. Indeed, I own the justice of your inference from the example you have given; for to quit a wife, as you say, in the very infancy of marriage, is, I acknowledge, some trial of resolution.” Booth answered with a low bow; and then, after some immaterial conversation, his lordship promised to speak immediately to the minister, and appointed Mr. Booth to come to him again on the Wednesday morning, that he might be acquainted with his patron’s success. The poor man now blushed and looked silly, till, after some time, he summoned up all his courage to his assistance, and relying on the other’s friendship, he opened the whole affair of his circumstances, and confessed that he did not dare stir from his lodgings above one day in seven. His lordship expressed great concern at this account, and very kindly promised to take some opportunity of calling on him at his cousin Ellison’s, when he hoped, he said, to bring him comfortable tidings.

He found my lord alone and was greeted by him in the most courteous way imaginable. After the initial formalities, his lordship began with these words: “Mr. Booth, I assure you, you owe a great deal to my cousin Ellison. She has given you such a commendation that I will be pleased to do anything I can to help you. However, I’m afraid it will be quite challenging to secure you a position at home. Perhaps in the West Indies or in some regiment abroad, it might be easier; and considering your reputation as a soldier, I have no doubt you would be ready to go wherever your country needs you.” Booth replied, “I am very grateful to your lordship and assure you I would gladly fulfill my duty anywhere in the world. The only difficult part of moving to another country,” he said, “is leaving behind those I love, and I’m sure I will never experience a loss like my first. It was very hard, my lord, to leave a young wife expecting our first child, so affected by my absence that I had every reason to despair of ever seeing her again. After demonstrating my willingness to put my duty before everything else, I hope your lordship will trust that I won’t object to serving in any location.” “My dear Mr. Booth,” the lord replied, “you speak like a soldier, and I greatly admire your views. Indeed, I acknowledge the validity of your point based on the example you've given; to leave a wife, as you say, during the early days of marriage, is a significant test of resolve.” Booth responded with a slight bow, and after some small talk, his lordship promised to speak with the minister right away and asked Mr. Booth to return on Wednesday morning so he could hear about his patron’s progress. The poor man then blushed and seemed awkward, until after a while he gathered his courage and, relying on the other's friendship, shared the details of his situation, admitting he didn't dare leave his lodgings more than once a week. His lordship expressed great concern about this and kindly promised to find a chance to visit him at his cousin Ellison’s, where he hoped to bring him good news.

Booth soon afterwards took his leave with the most profuse acknowledgments for so much goodness, and hastened home to acquaint his Amelia with what had so greatly overjoyed him. She highly congratulated him on his having found so generous and powerful a friend, towards whom both their bosoms burnt with the warmest sentiments of gratitude. She was not, however, contented till she had made Booth renew his promise, in the most solemn manner, of taking her with him. After which they sat down with their little children to a scrag of mutton and broth, with the highest satisfaction, and very heartily drank his lordship’s health in a pot of porter.

Booth soon after said goodbye, expressing the deepest gratitude for such kindness, and hurried home to tell Amelia about the wonderful news that thrilled him so much. She warmly congratulated him on finding such a generous and influential friend, for whom they both felt immense gratitude. However, she wasn’t satisfied until Booth made a solemn promise to take her with him. After that, they sat down with their little kids to enjoy a piece of mutton and broth, feeling very satisfied, and raised a toast to his lordship’s health with a pint of porter.

In the afternoon this happy couple, if the reader will allow me to call poor people happy, drank tea with Mrs. Ellison, where his lordship’s praises, being again repeated by both the husband and wife, were very loudly echoed by Mrs. Ellison. While they were here, the young lady whom we have mentioned at the end of the last book to have made a fourth at whist, and with whom Amelia seemed so much pleased, came in; she was just returned to town from a short visit in the country, and her present visit was unexpected. It was, however, very agreeable to Amelia, who liked her still better upon a second interview, and was resolved to solicit her further acquaintance.

In the afternoon, this happy couple—if the reader will allow me to call poor people happy—had tea with Mrs. Ellison. His lordship's praises were once again echoed loudly by both the husband and wife and were enthusiastically repeated by Mrs. Ellison. While they were there, the young lady we mentioned at the end of the last book, who had played whist with them, and whom Amelia seemed to like so much, came in. She had just returned to town from a short visit to the countryside, and her arrival was unexpected. However, it was very pleasant for Amelia, who liked her even more after seeing her a second time and was determined to pursue her friendship.

Mrs. Bennet still maintained some little reserve, but was much more familiar and communicative than before. She appeared, moreover, to be as little ceremonious as Mrs. Ellison had reported her, and very readily accepted Amelia’s apology for not paying her the first visit, and agreed to drink tea with her the very next afternoon.

Mrs. Bennet was still somewhat reserved, but she was a lot more friendly and talkative than before. She also seemed to be as easy-going as Mrs. Ellison had said, and she quickly accepted Amelia’s apology for not visiting her first and agreed to have tea with her the very next afternoon.

Whilst the above-mentioned company were sitting in Mrs. Ellison’s parlour, serjeant Atkinson passed by the window and knocked at the door. Mrs. Ellison no sooner saw him than she said, “Pray, Mr. Booth, who is that genteel young serjeant? he was here every day last week to enquire after you.” This was indeed a fact; the serjeant was apprehensive of the design of Murphy; but, as the poor fellow had received all his answers from the maid of Mrs. Ellison, Booth had never heard a word of the matter. He was, however, greatly pleased with what he was now told, and burst forth into great praises of the serjeant, which were seconded by Amelia, who added that he was her foster-brother, and, she believed, one of the honestest fellows in the world.

While the people mentioned above were sitting in Mrs. Ellison’s living room, Sergeant Atkinson walked by the window and knocked on the door. As soon as Mrs. Ellison saw him, she said, “Please, Mr. Booth, who is that nice young sergeant? He was here every day last week asking about you.” This was indeed true; the sergeant was concerned about Murphy’s intentions. However, since the poor guy had only gotten information from Mrs. Ellison’s maid, Booth had never heard a thing about it. He was really pleased by what he was now told and burst out with high praise for the sergeant, which Amelia echoed, adding that he was her foster brother and, in her opinion, one of the most honest people in the world.

“And I’ll swear,” cries Mrs. Ellison, “he is one of the prettiest. Do, Mr. Booth, desire him to walk in. A serjeant of the guards is a gentleman; and I had rather give such a man as you describe a dish of tea than any Beau Fribble of them all.”

“And I swear,” says Mrs. Ellison, “he’s one of the prettiest. Please, Mr. Booth, ask him to come in. A sergeant of the guards is a gentleman, and I’d much rather serve tea to a man like you described than to any of those flashy fops.”

Booth wanted no great solicitation to shew any kind of regard to Atkinson; and, accordingly, the serjeant was ushered in, though not without some reluctance on his side. There is, perhaps, nothing more uneasy than those sensations which the French call the mauvaise honte, nor any more difficult to conquer; and poor Atkinson would, I am persuaded, have mounted a breach with less concern than he shewed in walking across a room before three ladies, two of whom were his avowed well-wishers.

Booth didn't need much encouragement to show any kind of support for Atkinson; so, the sergeant was brought in, although not without some hesitation on his part. There is, perhaps, nothing more uncomfortable than the feelings the French call mauvaise honte, nor anything harder to overcome; and poor Atkinson would, I believe, have faced a challenge with less anxiety than he displayed while walking across a room in front of three ladies, two of whom were his openly supportive friends.

Though I do not entirely agree with the late learned Mr. Essex, the celebrated dancing-master’s opinion, that dancing is the rudiment of polite education, as he would, I apprehend, exclude every other art and science, yet it is certain that persons whose feet have never been under the hands of the professors of that art are apt to discover this want in their education in every motion, nay, even when they stand or sit still. They seem, indeed, to be overburthened with limbs which they know not how to use, as if, when Nature hath finished her work, the dancing-master still is necessary to put it in motion.

Though I don’t completely agree with the late learned Mr. Essex, the famous dance teacher, who claimed that dancing is the foundation of polite education—since I believe he would exclude every other art and science—it’s true that people who have never taken lessons from a dance instructor often show this gap in their education in every movement, even when they’re standing or sitting still. They seem, in fact, to be weighed down by limbs they don’t know how to use, as if, once Nature has done her part, the dance master is still needed to set them in motion.

Atkinson was, at present, an example of this observation which doth so much honour to a profession for which I have a very high regard. He was handsome, and exquisitely well made; and yet, as he had never learnt to dance, he made so awkward an appearance in Mrs. Ellison’s parlour, that the good lady herself, who had invited him in, could at first scarce refrain from laughter at his behaviour. He had not, however, been long in the room before admiration of his person got the better of such risible ideas. So great is the advantage of beauty in men as well as women, and so sure is this quality in either sex of procuring some regard from the beholder.

Atkinson was, at the moment, a perfect example of this observation that greatly honors a profession I hold in high esteem. He was attractive and perfectly built; however, since he had never learned to dance, he appeared so awkward in Mrs. Ellison’s living room that the kind lady herself, who had invited him in, could hardly hold back her laughter at his antics. Yet, it didn't take long for his good looks to overshadow any amusing thoughts. Beauty gives such an edge to both men and women, and it's a quality that consistently earns attention from those who see it.

The exceeding courteous behaviour of Mrs. Ellison, joined to that of Amelia and Booth, at length dissipated the uneasiness of Atkinson; and he gained sufficient confidence to tell the company some entertaining stories of accidents that had happened in the army within his knowledge, which, though they greatly pleased all present, are not, however, of consequence enough to have a place in this history.

The overly polite behavior of Mrs. Ellison, along with that of Amelia and Booth, eventually eased Atkinson's discomfort. He became confident enough to share some entertaining stories about incidents he experienced in the army. Although everyone present enjoyed them, they're not significant enough to include in this narrative.

Mrs. Ellison was so very importunate with her company to stay supper that they all consented. As for the serjeant, he seemed to be none of the least welcome guests. She was, indeed, so pleased with what she had heard of him, and what she saw of him, that, when a little warmed with wine, for she was no flincher at the bottle, she began to indulge some freedoms in her discourse towards him that a little offended Amelia’s delicacy, nay, they did not seem to be highly relished by the other lady; though I am far from insinuating that these exceeded the bounds of decorum, or were, indeed, greater liberties than ladies of the middle age, and especially widows, do frequently allow to themselves.

Mrs. Ellison was very insistent that her guests stay for dinner, and they all agreed. As for the sergeant, he appeared to be one of the most welcomed guests. She was genuinely pleased with what she had heard about him and what she saw in him, that when she had a bit to drink—she wasn’t shy about alcohol—she started to speak a bit more freely with him, which made Amelia feel a bit uncomfortable. It also didn’t seem to sit well with the other lady; although I’m not suggesting that what she said was inappropriate or that it went beyond what women, especially widows of a certain age, typically allow themselves.










Chapter iii. — Relating principally to the affairs of serjeant Atkinson.

The next day, when all the same company, Atkinson only excepted, assembled in Amelia’s apartment, Mrs. Ellison presently began to discourse of him, and that in terms not only of approbation but even of affection. She called him her clever serjeant, and her dear serjeant, repeated often that he was the prettiest fellow in the army, and said it was a thousand pities he had not a commission; for that, if he had, she was sure he would become a general.

The next day, when everyone except Atkinson gathered in Amelia’s apartment, Mrs. Ellison quickly started talking about him, expressing not just approval but even affection. She referred to him as her clever sergeant and her dear sergeant, often repeating that he was the best-looking guy in the army, and lamented that it was such a shame he didn’t have a commission; because if he did, she was sure he would become a general.

“I am of your opinion, madam,” answered Booth; “and he hath got one hundred pounds of his own already, if he could find a wife now to help him to two or three hundred more, I think he might easily get a commission in a marching regiment; for I am convinced there is no colonel in the army would refuse him.”

“I agree with you, ma'am,” Booth replied. “He already has a hundred pounds of his own, and if he could find a wife to help him get an extra two or three hundred, I think he could easily get a commission in a marching regiment. I'm convinced that no colonel in the army would turn him down.”

“Refuse him, indeed!” said Mrs. Ellison; “no; he would be a very pretty colonel that did. And, upon my honour, I believe there are very few ladies who would refuse him, if he had but a proper opportunity of soliciting them. The colonel and the lady both would be better off than with one of those pretty masters that I see walking about, and dragging their long swords after them, when they should rather drag their leading-strings.”

“Reject him, really!” said Mrs. Ellison; “no way, he’d be quite the charming colonel if that were the case. Honestly, I think there are very few ladies who would turn him down if he had even a decent chance to approach them. Both the colonel and the lady would be better off than with one of those charming fellows I see strolling around, dragging their long swords behind them when they should be pulling their own strings.”

“Well said,” cries Booth, “and spoken like a woman of spirit.—Indeed, I believe they would be both better served.”

“Well said,” Booth exclaims, “and spoken like a strong woman. Truly, I believe they would both be better off.”

“True, captain,” answered Mrs. Ellison; “I would rather leave the two first syllables out of the word gentleman than the last.”

“That's true, captain,” Mrs. Ellison replied; “I'd rather skip the first two syllables of the word gentleman than the last one.”

“Nay, I assure you,” replied Booth, “there is not a quieter creature in the world. Though the fellow hath the bravery of a lion, he hath the meekness of a lamb. I can tell you stories enow of that kind, and so can my dear Amelia, when he was a boy.”

“Nah, I promise you,” Booth replied, “there isn't a calmer person in the world. Even though the guy has the courage of a lion, he has the gentleness of a lamb. I can tell you plenty of stories like that, and so can my dear Amelia, from when he was a kid.”

“O! if the match sticks there,” cries Amelia, “I positively will not spoil his fortune by my silence. I can answer for him from his infancy, that he was one of the best-natured lads in the world. I will tell you a story or two of him, the truth of which I can testify from my own knowledge. When he was but six years old he was at play with me at my mother’s house, and a great pointer-dog bit him through the leg. The poor lad, in the midst of the anguish of his wound, declared he was overjoyed it had not happened to miss (for the same dog had just before snapt at me, and my petticoats had been my defence).—Another instance of his goodness, which greatly recommended him to my father, and which I have loved him for ever since, was this: my father was a great lover of birds, and strictly forbad the spoiling of their nests. Poor Joe was one day caught upon a tree, and, being concluded guilty, was severely lashed for it; but it was afterwards discovered that another boy, a friend of Joe’s, had robbed the nest of its young ones, and poor Joe had climbed the tree in order to restore them, notwithstanding which, he submitted to the punishment rather than he would impeach his companion. But, if these stories appear childish and trifling, the duty and kindness he hath shewn to his mother must recommend him to every one. Ever since he hath been fifteen years old he hath more than half supported her: and when my brother died, I remember particularly, Joe, at his desire, for he was much his favourite, had one of his suits given him; but, instead of his becoming finer on that occasion, another young fellow came to church in my brother’s cloaths, and my old nurse appeared the same Sunday in a new gown, which her son had purchased for her with the sale of his legacy.”

“O! If the match sticks there,” Amelia exclaims, “I absolutely will not ruin his luck by staying quiet. I can vouch for him since he was a kid; he was one of the kindest boys you could ever meet. Let me share a story or two about him that I know are true. When he was just six years old, he was playing at my mom’s house when a big pointer dog bit him in the leg. The poor boy, despite the pain from his injury, said he was relieved it hadn’t happened to me (since the same dog had just tried to bite me, and my petticoats had protected me). Another example of his goodness, which really impressed my father and made me love him forever, was this: my dad was a big bird lover and strictly prohibited messing with their nests. One day, poor Joe was caught in a tree and was wrongly punished severely; later, it came out that another boy, one of Joe's friends, had taken the baby birds from the nest, and Joe had climbed the tree to put them back. Even so, he accepted the punishment rather than betray his friend. If these stories seem childish and trivial, his dedication and kindness towards his mother should make him appealing to everyone. Since he turned fifteen, he’s supported her more than half the time; I remember when my brother died, Joe, who was his favorite, got one of his suits. But instead of showing off in it, another young guy showed up at church wearing my brother's clothes, and my old nurse appeared that same Sunday in a new dress, which her son had bought for her with the money from his inheritance.”

“Well, I protest, he is a very worthy creature,” said Mrs. Bennet.

“Well, I insist, he is a very respectable person,” said Mrs. Bennet.

“He is a charming fellow,” cries Mrs. Ellison—“but then the name of serjeant, Captain Booth; there, as the play says, my pride brings me off again.”

“He's a charming guy,” Mrs. Ellison exclaims, “but then there's the title of serjeant, Captain Booth; there, as the play says, my pride gets the better of me again.”

          And whatsoever the sages charge on pride,
     The angels’ fall, and twenty other good faults beside;
     On earth I’m sure—I’m sure—something—calling
     Pride saves man, and our sex too, from falling.—
          And whatever the wise say about pride,  
     The angels' downfall, and twenty other good flaws too;  
     Here on earth, I'm certain—I'm certain—something—  
     Pride keeps mankind, and our gender too, from falling.—

Here a footman’s rap at the door shook the room. Upon which Mrs. Ellison, running to the window, cried out, “Let me die if it is not my lord! what shall I do? I must be at home to him; but suppose he should enquire for you, captain, what shall I say? or will you go down with me?”

Here, a footman’s knock at the door startled the room. Mrs. Ellison ran to the window and exclaimed, “I’ll be damned if that isn’t my lord! What should I do? I have to be there for him; but what if he asks for you, captain? What should I say? Or will you come down with me?”

The company were in some confusion at this instant, and before they had agreed on anything, Booth’s little girl came running into the room, and said, “There was a prodigious great gentleman coming up-stairs.” She was immediately followed by his lordship, who, as he knew Booth must be at home, made very little or no enquiry at the door.

The company was feeling a bit confused at that moment, and before they could agree on anything, Booth’s little girl burst into the room and said, “There’s a really big gentleman coming upstairs.” She was quickly followed by his lordship, who, knowing Booth must be home, didn’t ask many questions at the door.

Amelia was taken somewhat at a surprize, but she was too polite to shew much confusion; for, though she knew nothing of the town, she had had a genteel education, and kept the best company the country afforded. The ceremonies therefore past as usual, and they all sat down.

Amelia was a bit surprised, but she was too polite to show much confusion; since she didn’t know anything about the town, she had a refined education and surrounded herself with the best company the area had to offer. So, the ceremonies went on as usual, and they all sat down.

His lordship soon addressed himself to Booth, saying, “As I have what I think good news for you, sir, I could not delay giving myself the pleasure of communicating it to you. I have mentioned your affair where I promised you, and I have no doubt of my success. One may easily perceive, you know, from the manner of people’s behaving upon such occasions; and, indeed, when I related your case, I found there was much inclination to serve you. Great men, Mr. Booth, must do things in their own time; but I think you may depend on having something done very soon.”

His lordship quickly turned to Booth and said, “I have what I believe is good news for you, sir, and I couldn't wait to share it with you. I've brought up your situation where I said I would, and I'm confident it will turn out well. It's easy to tell, you know, by how people act in these situations; and when I explained your case, I found that there was a strong desire to help you. It’s true that important people, Mr. Booth, do things on their own schedule, but I think you can count on something happening very soon.”

Booth made many acknowledgments for his lordship’s goodness, and now a second time paid all the thanks which would have been due, even had the favour been obtained. This art of promising is the economy of a great man’s pride, a sort of good husbandry in conferring favours, by which they receive tenfold in acknowledgments for every obligation, I mean among those who really intend the service; for there are others who cheat poor men of their thanks, without ever designing to deserve them at all.

Booth expressed his gratitude for his lordship's kindness and, for a second time, offered all the thanks that would have been appropriate even if he had received a favor. This practice of promising is a clever way for a great man to manage his pride, a kind of smart strategy in giving favors, allowing them to receive ten times the gratitude for every obligation, especially from those who genuinely mean to be helpful. Unfortunately, there are also those who trick poor people out of their gratitude without ever intending to deserve it at all.

This matter being sufficiently discussed, the conversation took a gayer turn; and my lord began to entertain the ladies with some of that elegant discourse which, though most delightful to hear, it is impossible should ever be read.

This topic being thoroughly talked about, the conversation became lighter; and my lord started to engage the ladies with some of that charming conversation which, while a joy to listen to, can never truly be read.

His lordship was so highly pleased with Amelia, that he could not help being somewhat particular to her; but this particularity distinguished itself only in a higher degree of respect, and was so very polite, and so very distant, that she herself was pleased, and at his departure, which was not till he had far exceeded the length of a common visit, declared he was the finest gentleman she had ever seen; with which sentiment her husband and Mrs. Ellison both entirely concurred.

His lordship was so impressed with Amelia that he couldn't help but pay special attention to her; however, this attention only showed up as a greater level of respect, which was very courteous yet also quite formal. She was flattered by it, and when he finally left—having stayed much longer than a typical visit—she declared he was the best gentleman she had ever met, a sentiment that her husband and Mrs. Ellison fully agreed with.

Mrs. Bennet, on the contrary, exprest some little dislike to my lord’s complaisance, which she called excessive. “For my own part,” said she, “I have not the least relish for those very fine gentlemen; what the world generally calls politeness, I term insincerity; and I am more charmed with the stories which Mrs. Booth told us of the honest serjeant than with all that the finest gentlemen in the world ever said in their lives!”

Mrs. Bennet, on the other hand, expressed some dislike for my lord’s friendliness, which she called excessive. “For my part,” she said, “I have no taste for those really fancy gentlemen; what people usually call politeness, I call insincerity; and I’m more captivated by the stories Mrs. Booth told us about the honest sergeant than by anything the finest gentlemen in the world have ever said in their lives!”

“O! to be sure,” cries Mrs. Ellison; “All for Love, or the World well Lost, is a motto very proper for some folks to wear in their coat of arms; but the generality of the world will, I believe, agree with that lady’s opinion of my cousin, rather than with Mrs. Bennet.”

“O! for sure,” Mrs. Ellison exclaims; “All for Love, or the World well Lost, is a motto that some people should really have on their coat of arms; but most people, I think, will side with that lady’s view of my cousin instead of Mrs. Bennet's.”

Mrs. Bennet, seeing Mrs. Ellison took offence at what she said, thought proper to make some apology, which was very readily accepted, and so ended the visit.

Mrs. Bennet, noticing that Mrs. Ellison was offended by her remarks, felt it was appropriate to apologize, which was quickly accepted, and that wrapped up the visit.

We cannot however put an end to the chapter without observing that such is the ambitious temper of beauty, that it may always apply to itself that celebrated passage in Lucan,

We can't wrap up this chapter without noting that beauty has such an ambitious nature that it can always reference that famous line in Lucan,

Nec quenquam jam ferre potest Caesarve priorem, Pompeiusve parem.

No one can stand either Caesar's superiority or Pompey's equality anymore.

Indeed, I believe, it may be laid down as a general rule, that no woman who hath any great pretensions to admiration is ever well pleased in a company where she perceives herself to fill only the second place. This observation, however, I humbly submit to the judgment of the ladies, and hope it will be considered as retracted by me if they shall dissent from my opinion.

Indeed, I believe it can be said as a general rule that no woman who has any significant desire for admiration is ever happy in a setting where she realizes she plays a secondary role. However, I respectfully submit this observation for the judgment of the ladies and hope it will be seen as retracted by me if they disagree with my opinion.










Chapter iv. — Containing matters that require no preface.

When Booth and his wife were left alone together they both extremely exulted in their good fortune in having found so good a friend as his lordship; nor were they wanting in very warm expressions of gratitude towards Mrs. Ellison. After which they began to lay down schemes of living when Booth should have his commission of captain; and, after the exactest computation, concluded that, with economy, they should be able to save at least fifty pounds a-year out of their income in order to pay their debts.

When Booth and his wife were finally alone together, they both felt incredibly happy about their good luck in having such a wonderful friend as his lordship. They also expressed their deep gratitude to Mrs. Ellison. Afterward, they started to plan their lives for when Booth received his captain's commission; after careful calculations, they determined that with some careful budgeting, they could manage to save at least fifty pounds a year from their income to pay off their debts.

These matters being well settled, Amelia asked Booth what he thought of Mrs. Bennet? “I think, my dear,” answered Booth, “that she hath been formerly a very pretty woman.” “I am mistaken,” replied she, “if she be not a very good creature. I don’t know I ever took such a liking to any one on so short an acquaintance. I fancy she hath been a very spritely woman; for, if you observe, she discovers by starts a great vivacity in her countenance.” “I made the same observation,” cries Booth: “sure some strange misfortune hath befallen her.” “A misfortune, indeed!” answered Amelia; “sure, child, you forget what Mrs. Ellison told us, that she had lost a beloved husband. A misfortune which I have often wondered at any woman’s surviving.” At which words she cast a tender look at Booth, and presently afterwards, throwing herself upon his neck, cried, “O, Heavens! what a happy creature am I! when I consider the dangers you have gone through, how I exult in my bliss!” The good-natured reader will suppose that Booth was not deficient in returning such tenderness, after which the conversation became too fond to be here related.

With these matters settled, Amelia asked Booth what he thought of Mrs. Bennet. “I think, my dear,” Booth replied, “that she was once a very pretty woman.” “I would be surprised,” she responded, “if she isn’t a very good person. I can’t remember ever liking someone so much after such a short time. I imagine she has always been quite lively; if you notice, her face occasionally shows a lot of energy.” “I noticed the same thing,” Booth said. “Something strange must have happened to her.” “A misfortune, indeed!” Amelia replied. “Surely, you remember what Mrs. Ellison told us—she lost a beloved husband. It’s a misfortune that I often wonder how any woman can survive.” With that, she gave Booth a tender look and then threw herself onto his neck, exclaiming, “Oh, heavens! What a lucky person I am! When I think about the dangers you’ve faced, how I rejoice in my happiness!” The kind-hearted reader will assume that Booth reciprocated her affection, after which the conversation became too intimate to recount here.

The next morning Mrs. Ellison addressed herself to Booth as follows: “I shall make no apology, sir, for what I am going to say, as it proceeds from my friendship to yourself and your dear lady. I am convinced then, sir, there is a something more than accident in your going abroad only one day in the week. Now, sir, if, as I am afraid, matters are not altogether as well as I wish them, I beg, since I do not believe you are provided with a lawyer, that you will suffer me to recommend one to you. The person I shall mention is, I assure you, of much ability in his profession, and I have known him do great services to gentlemen under a cloud. Do not be ashamed of your circumstances, my dear friend: they are a much greater scandal to those who have left so much merit unprovided for.”

The next morning, Mrs. Ellison spoke to Booth like this: “I won’t apologize, sir, for what I’m about to say because it comes from my friendship for you and your lovely wife. I truly believe there’s more to your going abroad just once a week than mere chance. Now, sir, if things aren’t going as well as I hope they are, I kindly ask that you let me recommend a lawyer to you, as I don't think you have one. I assure you, the person I’ll mention is quite skilled in his field, and I’ve seen him do great work for gentlemen in tough situations. Please don’t feel ashamed of your circumstances, my dear friend; they reflect more poorly on those who have left so much talent unrecognized.”

Booth gave Mrs. Ellison abundance of thanks for her kindness, and explicitly confessed to her that her conjectures were right, and, without hesitation, accepted the offer of her friend’s assistance.

Booth thanked Mrs. Ellison profusely for her kindness and openly admitted that she was right in her guesses. He wholeheartedly accepted his friend's offer of help without any hesitation.

Mrs. Ellison then acquainted him with her apprehensions on his account. She said she had both yesterday and this morning seen two or three very ugly suspicious fellows pass several times by her window. “Upon all accounts,” said she, “my dear sir, I advise you to keep yourself close confined till the lawyer hath been with you. I am sure he will get you your liberty, at least of walking about within the verge. There’s something to be done with the board of green-cloth; I don’t know what; but this I know, that several gentlemen have lived here a long time very comfortably, and have defied all the vengeance of their creditors. However, in the mean time, you must be a close prisoner with your lady; and I believe there is no man in England but would exchange his liberty for the same gaol.”

Mrs. Ellison then shared her worries about him. She mentioned that both yesterday and this morning, she had seen a couple of really shady characters pass by her window several times. “For all these reasons,” she said, “my dear sir, I strongly advise you to stay out of sight until the lawyer has been with you. I’m sure he will help you regain your freedom, at least to walk around within the area. There's something to sort out with the board of green-cloth; I’m not sure what it is, but I know that several gentlemen have lived here comfortably for a long time, managing to ignore the wrath of their creditors. In the meantime, you must remain a close prisoner with your lady; and I believe there’s not a man in England who wouldn’t trade his freedom for your same situation.”

She then departed in order to send for the attorney, and presently afterwards the serjeant arrived with news of the like kind. He said he had scraped an acquaintance with Murphy. “I hope your honour will pardon me,” cries Atkinson, “but I pretended to have a small demand upon your honour myself, and offered to employ him in the business. Upon which he told me that, if I would go with him to the Marshal’s court, and make affidavit of my debt, he should be able very shortly to get it me; for I shall have the captain in hold,” cries he, “within a day or two.” “I wish,” said the serjeant, “I could do your honour any service. Shall I walk about all day before the door? or shall I be porter, and watch it in the inside till your honour can find some means of securing yourself? I hope you will not be offended at me, but I beg you would take care of falling into Murphy’s hands; for he hath the character of the greatest villain upon earth. I am afraid you will think me too bold, sir; but I have a little money; if it can be of any service, do, pray your honour, command it. It can never do me so much good any other way. Consider, sir, I owe all I have to yourself and my dear mistress.”

She then left to call for the lawyer, and shortly after, the sergeant arrived with similar news. He said he’d made a connection with Murphy. “I hope you'll forgive me,” Atkinson said, “but I pretended to have a small debt to you, and I offered to hire him for the job. He told me that if I went with him to the Marshal’s court and swore an affidavit about my debt, he could get it for me pretty quickly; he said, ‘I’ll have the captain in custody within a day or two.’” “I wish I could help you in any way,” said the sergeant. “Should I just hang around outside all day? Or can I be the one to keep an eye on things inside until you find a way to secure yourself? I hope you won’t be upset with me, but please be careful not to get caught by Murphy; he has a reputation for being the worst kind of villain. I hope I’m not being too forward, sir, but I have a little money; if it can help in any way, please don’t hesitate to ask. It wouldn’t do me as much good any other way. Remember, sir, I owe everything I have to you and my dear mistress.”

Booth stood a moment, as if he had been thunderstruck, and then, the tears bursting from his eyes, he said, “Upon my soul, Atkinson, you overcome me. I scarce ever heard of so—much goodness, nor do I know how to express my sentiments of it. But, be assured, as for your money, I will not accept it; and let it satisfy you, that in my present circumstances it would do me no essential service; but this be assured of likewise, that whilst I live I shall never forget the kindness of the offer. However, as I apprehend I may be in some danger of fellows getting into the house, for a day or two, as I have no guard but a poor little girl, I will not refuse the goodness you offer to shew in my protection. And I make no doubt but Mrs. Ellison will let you sit in her parlour for that purpose.”

Booth stood there for a moment, as if he had been struck by lightning, then, with tears streaming down his face, he said, “Honestly, Atkinson, you really move me. I can hardly believe such goodness exists, and I don’t know how to express how I feel about it. But believe me, when it comes to your money, I won’t accept it; and let it ease your mind that in my current situation, it wouldn’t help me much anyway. However, know this as well: I will never forget your kindness for as long as I live. That said, since I’m worried I might be in danger of someone breaking in, as I only have a poor little girl for company, I won’t turn down the kindness you’re offering in terms of protection. I’m sure Mrs. Ellison will allow you to sit in her parlor for that purpose.”

Atkinson, with the utmost readiness, undertook the office of porter; and Mrs. Ellison as readily allotted him a place in her back-parlour, where he continued three days together, from eight in the morning till twelve at night; during which time, he had sometimes the company of Mrs. Ellison, and sometimes of Booth, Amelia, and Mrs. Bennet too; for this last had taken as great a fancy to Amelia as Amelia had to her, and, therefore, as Mr. Booth’s affairs were now no secret in the neighbourhood, made her frequent visits during the confinement of her husband, and consequently her own.

Atkinson eagerly took on the role of porter, and Mrs. Ellison quickly gave him a spot in her back parlor, where he stayed for three days straight, from eight in the morning until midnight. During that time, he was sometimes accompanied by Mrs. Ellison, and other times by Booth, Amelia, and Mrs. Bennet as well. Mrs. Bennet had developed a strong affection for Amelia, just as Amelia had for her. Since Mr. Booth’s situation was well-known in the neighborhood, Mrs. Bennet often visited during the time her husband was confined, which also meant she was spending time at home.

Nothing, as I remember, happened in this interval of time, more worthy notice than the following card which Amelia received from her old acquaintance Mrs. James:—“Mrs. James sends her compliments to Mrs. Booth, and desires to know how she does; for, as she hath not had the favour of seeing her at her own house, or of meeting her in any public place, in so long time, fears it may be owing to ill health.”

Nothing, as I recall, happened during this time that was more noteworthy than the following card that Amelia got from her old friend Mrs. James:—“Mrs. James sends her regards to Mrs. Booth and wants to know how she is doing. Since she hasn't had the chance to see her at her home or meet her in any public place for quite a while, she worries it might be due to poor health.”

Amelia had long given over all thoughts of her friend, and doubted not but that she was as entirely given over by her; she was very much surprized at this message, and under some doubt whether it was not meant as an insult, especially from the mention of public places, which she thought so inconsistent with her present circumstances, of which she supposed Mrs. James was well apprized. However, at the entreaty of her husband, who languished for nothing more than to be again reconciled to his friend James, Amelia undertook to pay the lady a visit, and to examine into the mystery of this conduct, which appeared to her so unaccountable.

Amelia had long stopped thinking about her friend and didn't believe that her friend thought of her anymore either. She was quite surprised by this message and wondered if it was intended as an insult, especially because it mentioned public places, which she thought was so inconsistent with her current situation that she believed Mrs. James was well aware of. However, at the urging of her husband, who only wanted to be reconciled with his friend James, Amelia agreed to visit the lady and find out what this strange behavior was all about.

Mrs. James received her with a degree of civility that amazed Amelia no less than her coldness had done before. She resolved to come to an eclaircissement, and, having sat out some company that came in, when they were alone together Amelia, after some silence and many offers to speak, at last said, “My dear Jenny (if you will now suffer me to call you by so familiar a name), have you entirely forgot a certain young lady who had the pleasure of being your intimate acquaintance at Montpelier?” “Whom do you mean, dear madam?” cries Mrs. James with great concern. “I mean myself,” answered Amelia. “You surprize me, madam,” replied Mrs. James: “how can you ask me that question?” “Nay, my dear, I do not intend to offend you,” cries Amelia, “but I am really desirous to solve to myself the reason of that coldness which you shewed me when you did me the favour of a visit. Can you think, my dear, I was not disappointed, when I expected to meet an intimate friend, to receive a cold formal visitant? I desire you to examine your own heart and answer me honestly if you do not think I had some little reason to be dissatisfied with your behaviour?” “Indeed, Mrs. Booth,” answered the other lady, “you surprize me very much; if there was anything displeasing to you in my behaviour I am extremely concerned at it. I did not know I had been defective in any of the rules of civility, but if I was, madam, I ask your pardon.” “Is civility, then, my dear,” replied Amelia, “a synonymous term with friendship? Could I have expected, when I parted the last time with Miss Jenny Bath, to have met her the next time in the shape of a fine lady, complaining of the hardship of climbing up two pair of stairs to visit me, and then approaching me with the distant air of a new or a slight acquaintance? Do you think, my dear Mrs. James, if the tables had been turned, if my fortune had been as high in the world as yours, and you in my distress and abject condition, that I would not have climbed as high as the monument to visit you?” “Sure, madam,” cried Mrs. James, “I mistake you, or you have greatly mistaken me. Can you complain of my not visiting you, who have owed me a visit almost these three weeks? Nay, did I not even then send you a card, which sure was doing more than all the friendship and good-breeding in the world required; but, indeed, as I had met you in no public place, I really thought you was ill.”

Mrs. James greeted her with a level of politeness that surprised Amelia just as much as her earlier coldness had. She decided to clear things up and, after waiting for some guests to leave, Amelia, once they were alone, said after a brief silence and many attempts to speak, “My dear Jenny (if you’ll allow me to use such a familiar name), have you completely forgotten a certain young lady who had the pleasure of being your close friend at Montpelier?” “Who are you referring to, dear madam?” exclaimed Mrs. James with great concern. “I’m talking about myself,” Amelia replied. “You surprise me, madam,” Mrs. James said: “how can you ask me that?” “Honestly, I don’t mean to upset you,” Amelia responded, “but I genuinely want to understand why you were so cold during your visit. Can you really think I wasn’t disappointed when I expected to see a close friend but was met with a formal visitor? Please reflect on your feelings and tell me honestly if you don’t think I had some reason to be unhappy with your behavior?” “Truly, Mrs. Booth,” the other lady replied, “you surprise me greatly; if there was anything upsetting to you in my behavior, I’m very concerned about it. I wasn’t aware that I had failed in any rules of politeness, but if I did, madam, I apologize.” “So, my dear,” Amelia replied, “is civility synonymous with friendship? Could I have expected, when I last parted from Miss Jenny Bath, to see her next as a refined lady complaining about the trouble of climbing two flights of stairs to see me and then approaching me with the distant attitude of a new or distant acquaintance? Do you believe, my dear Mrs. James, that if the situation were reversed, if I were as well-off as you and you were in my lowly position, I wouldn’t have climbed as high as the monument to visit you?” “Surely, madam,” Mrs. James exclaimed, “either I am misunderstanding you or you are greatly misjudging me. How can you complain about my not visiting you when you owe me a visit from almost three weeks ago? Didn’t I even send you a card then, which surely was more than the friendship and good manners in the world required? But honestly, since I hadn’t seen you in any public place, I really thought you were unwell.”

“How can you mention public places to me,” said Amelia, “when you can hardly be a stranger to my present situation? Did you not know, madam, that I was ruined?” “No, indeed, madam, did I not,” replied Mrs. James; “I am sure I should have been highly concerned if! had.” “Why, sure, my dear,” cries Amelia, “you could not imagine that we were in affluent circumstances, when you found us in such a place, and in such a condition.” “Nay, my dear,” answered Mrs. James, “since you are pleased to mention it first yourself, I own I was a little surprized to see you in no better lodgings; but I concluded you had your own reasons for liking them; and, for my own part, I have laid it down as a positive rule never to enquire into the private affairs of any one, especially of my friends. I am not of the humour of some ladies, who confine the circle of their acquaintance to one part of the town, and would not be known to visit in the city for the world. For my part, I never dropt an acquaintance with any one while it was reputable to keep it up; and I can solemnly declare I have not a friend in the world for whom I have a greater esteem than I have for Mrs. Booth.”

“How can you talk about public places to me,” Amelia said, “when you must know about my current situation? Didn’t you realize, madam, that I was ruined?” “No, indeed, I didn’t,” replied Mrs. James; “I’m sure I would have been very concerned if I had.” “Well, surely, my dear,” Amelia replied, “you couldn’t think we were well-off when you found us in such a place and in such a state.” “Well, my dear,” Mrs. James answered, “since you brought it up first, I admit I was a bit surprised to see you in such humble lodgings; but I figured you had your own reasons for choosing them. As for me, I’ve made it a rule never to pry into anyone’s private affairs, especially those of my friends. I’m not like some ladies who limit their social circle to one part of town and wouldn’t want anyone to know they visit the city. As for me, I’ve never dropped a friendship as long as it was respectable to maintain it; and I can honestly say I don’t have a friend in the world whom I hold in higher esteem than Mrs. Booth.”

At this instant the arrival of a new visitant put an end to the discourse; and Amelia soon after took her leave without the least anger, but with some little unavoidable contempt for a lady, in whose opinion, as we have hinted before, outward form and ceremony constituted the whole essence of friendship; who valued all her acquaintance alike, as each individual served equally to fill up a place in her visiting roll; and who, in reality, had not the least concern for the good qualities or well-being of any of them.

At that moment, the arrival of a new guest interrupted the conversation; Amelia soon left without any anger, but with a bit of unavoidable disdain for a woman who believed, as we mentioned earlier, that appearance and social etiquette were the entire basis of friendship. This woman valued all her acquaintances the same, as each person merely filled a spot on her guest list, and, in truth, she didn’t care at all about the good qualities or well-being of any of them.










Chapter v. — Containing much heroic matter.

At the end of three days Mrs. Ellison’s friend had so far purchased Mr. Booth’s liberty that he could walk again abroad within the verge without any danger of having a warrant backed against him by the board before he had notice. As for the ill-looked persons that had given the alarm, it was now discovered that another unhappy gentleman, and not Booth, was the object of their pursuit.

At the end of three days, Mrs. Ellison’s friend had managed to secure Mr. Booth’s freedom so that he could walk around outside without the risk of being arrested by the board before he was informed. As for the suspicious individuals who had raised the alarm, it was now revealed that they were actually after another unfortunate man, not Booth.

Mr. Booth, now being delivered from his fears, went, as he had formerly done, to take his morning walk in the Park. Here he met Colonel Bath in company with some other officers, and very civilly paid his respects to him. But, instead of returning the salute, the colonel looked him full in the face with a very stern countenance; and, if he could be said to take any notice of him, it was in such a manner as to inform him he would take no notice of him.

Mr. Booth, now free from his fears, went for his morning walk in the Park, just like he used to. There he ran into Colonel Bath with some other officers and politely greeted him. However, instead of acknowledging him, the colonel stared him down with a very serious expression; if he acknowledged Booth at all, it was in a way that made it clear he wanted nothing to do with him.

Booth was not more hurt than surprized at this behaviour, and resolved to know the reason of it. He therefore watched an opportunity till the colonel was alone, and then walked boldly up to him, and desired to know if he had given him any offence? The colonel answered hastily, “Sir, I am above being offended with you, nor do I think it consistent with my dignity to make you any answer.” Booth replied, “I don’t know, sir, that I have done anything to deserve this treatment.” “Look’ee, sir,” cries the colonel, “if I had not formerly had some respect for you, I should not think you worth my resentment. However, as you are a gentleman born, and an officer, and as I have had an esteem for you, I will give you some marks of it by putting it in your power to do yourself justice. I will tell you therefore, sir, that you have acted like a scoundrel.” “If we were not in the Park,” answered Booth warmly, “I would thank you very properly for that compliment.” “O, sir,” cries the colonel, “we can be soon in a convenient place.” Upon which Booth answered, he would attend him wherever he pleased. The colonel then bid him come along, and strutted forward directly up Constitution-hill to Hyde-park, Booth following him at first, and afterwards walking before him, till they came to that place which may be properly called the field of blood, being that part, a little to the left of the ring, which heroes have chosen for the scene of their exit out of this world.

Booth was more surprised than hurt by this behavior and decided he had to find out why. He waited for a chance until the colonel was alone, then walked up to him confidently and asked if he had offended him in any way. The colonel replied quickly, “Sir, I’m above being offended by you, and I don’t think it’s appropriate for me to answer you.” Booth responded, “I don’t understand, sir, what I’ve done to deserve this treatment.” “Listen, sir,” the colonel said, “if I hadn’t respected you before, I wouldn’t think you worthy of my anger. However, since you’re a gentleman by birth and an officer, and I’ve had respect for you, I’ll show you that by giving you the chance to defend yourself. So let me tell you, sir, you’ve acted like a scoundrel.” “If we weren’t in the Park,” Booth replied passionately, “I would properly thank you for that compliment.” “Oh, sir,” the colonel said, “we can quickly find a more suitable place.” Booth then agreed to follow him wherever he wanted. The colonel led the way up Constitution Hill toward Hyde Park, with Booth initially following behind and then walking ahead of him, until they reached a spot that could rightly be called the field of blood, a little to the left of the ring, where heroes have chosen to make their exit from this world.

Booth reached the ring some time before the colonel; for he mended not his pace any more than a Spaniard. To say truth, I believe it was not in his power: for he had so long accustomed himself to one and the same strut, that as a horse, used always to trotting, can scarce be forced into a gallop, so could no passion force the colonel to alter his pace.

Booth arrived at the ring well before the colonel because he didn’t speed up any more than a Spaniard. To be honest, I think it wasn’t even possible for him to do so; he had conditioned himself to the same swagger for so long that, just like a horse that's always trotting can hardly be pushed into a gallop, no emotion could make the colonel change his pace.

{Illustration with caption: Colonel Bath.}

{Illustration with caption: Colonel Bath.}

At length, however, both parties arrived at the lists, where the colonel very deliberately took off his wig and coat, and laid them on the grass, and then, drawing his sword, advanced to Booth, who had likewise his drawn weapon in his hand, but had made no other preparation for the combat.

At last, both sides made it to the arena, where the colonel carefully removed his wig and coat, placing them on the grass. Then, drawing his sword, he approached Booth, who also had his weapon drawn but hadn't made any other preparations for the fight.

The combatants now engaged with great fury, and, after two or three passes, Booth run the colonel through the body and threw him on the ground, at the same time possessing himself of the colonel’s sword.

The fighters now clashed with intense anger, and after two or three exchanges, Booth stabbed the colonel in the body and threw him to the ground, simultaneously taking the colonel’s sword for himself.

As soon as the colonel was become master of his speech, he called out to Booth in a very kind voice, and said, “You have done my business, and satisfied me that you are a man of honour, and that my brother James must have been mistaken; for I am convinced that no man who will draw his sword in so gallant a manner is capable of being a rascal. D—n me, give me a buss, my dear boy; I ask your pardon for that infamous appellation I dishonoured your dignity with; but d—n me if it was not purely out of love, and to give you an opportunity of doing yourself justice, which I own you have done like a man of honour. What may be the consequence I know not, but I hope, at least, I shall live to reconcile you with my brother.”

As soon as the colonel got control of his voice, he called out to Booth in a very friendly tone and said, “You’ve handled my business and shown me that you’re a man of honor, and my brother James must have been wrong; because I’m convinced that no man who draws his sword so bravely could be a scoundrel. Damn it, give me a hug, my dear boy; I apologize for that disgraceful name I called you; but I swear it was only out of love, and to give you a chance to prove your worth, which I admit you’ve done like a true gentleman. I don't know what the outcome will be, but I at least hope to see you reconciled with my brother.”

Booth shewed great concern, and even horror in his countenance. “Why, my dear colonel,” said he, “would you force me to this? for Heaven’s sake tell me what I have ever done to offend you.”

Booth showed great concern, and even horror on his face. “Why, my dear colonel,” he said, “would you make me do this? For heaven’s sake, tell me what I’ve ever done to upset you.”

“Me!” cried the colonel. “Indeed, my dear child, you never did anything to offend me.—Nay, I have acted the part of a friend to you in the whole affair. I maintained your cause with my brother as long as decency would permit; I could not flatly contradict him, though, indeed, I scarce believed him. But what could I do? If I had not fought with you, I must have been obliged to have fought with him; however, I hope what is done will be sufficient, and that matters may be discomodated without your being put to the necessity of fighting any more on this occasion.”

“Me!” shouted the colonel. “Honestly, my dear child, you never did anything to upset me. Look, I’ve acted as a friend in this whole situation. I stood up for you with my brother as long as I could without being rude; I couldn’t directly contradict him, even though I barely believed him. But what was I supposed to do? If I hadn’t fought alongside you, I would have had to fight him instead. Still, I hope what’s been done will be enough, and that we can sort this out without you having to fight again this time.”

“Never regard me,” cried Booth eagerly; “for Heaven’s sake, think of your own preservation. Let me put you into a chair, and get you a surgeon.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Booth exclaimed eagerly; “for your sake, focus on your own safety. Let me help you to a chair and get you a doctor.”

“Thou art a noble lad,” cries the colonel, who was now got on his legs, “and I am glad the business is so well over; for, though your sword went quite through, it slanted so that I apprehend there is little danger of life: however, I think there is enough done to put an honourable end to the affair, especially as you was so hasty to disarm me. I bleed a little, but I can walk to the house by the water; and, if you will send me a chair thither, I shall be obliged to you.”

“You're a noble young man,” the colonel exclaims, now on his feet, “and I’m glad that’s all over; because, even though your sword went straight through, it was at an angle, so I don’t think there’s much risk to my life. Still, I believe enough has happened to bring this matter to an honorable close, especially since you were so eager to disarm me. I’m bleeding a bit, but I can walk to the house by the water; and if you could send me a chair there, I would appreciate it.”

As the colonel refused any assistance (indeed he was very able to walk without it, though with somewhat less dignity than usual), Booth set forward to Grosvenor-gate, in order to procure the chair, and soon after returned with one to his friend; whom having conveyed into it, he attended himself on foot into Bond-street, where then lived a very eminent surgeon.

As the colonel rejected any help (he was perfectly capable of walking on his own, although with a bit less dignity than usual), Booth headed towards Grosvenor-gate to get a chair. He quickly returned with one for his friend. After getting him settled into it, Booth walked alongside him to Bond-street, where a well-known surgeon lived at the time.

The surgeon having probed the wound, turned towards Booth, who was apparently the guilty person, and said, with a smile, “Upon my word, sir, you have performed the business with great dexterity.”

The surgeon, after examining the wound, turned to Booth, who seemed to be the one at fault, and said with a smile, “Honestly, sir, you handled this situation with impressive skill.”

“Sir,” cries the colonel to the surgeon, “I would not have you imagine I am afraid to die. I think I know more what belongs to the dignity of a man; and, I believe, I have shewn it at the head of a line of battle. Do not impute my concern to that fear, when I ask you whether there is or is not any danger?”

“Sir,” the colonel calls out to the surgeon, “I don't want you to think I'm afraid to die. I believe I understand what it means to have dignity as a man, and I've demonstrated that at the front of a battle line. So don’t attribute my concern to fear when I ask you if there is any danger or not?”

“Really, colonel,” answered the surgeon, who well knew the complexion of the gentleman then under his hands, “it would appear like presumption to say that a man who hath been just run through the body is in no manner of danger. But this I think I may assure you, that I yet perceive no very bad symptoms, and, unless something worse should appear, or a fever be the consequence, I hope you may live to be again, with all your dignity, at the head of a line of battle.”

“Honestly, Colonel,” replied the surgeon, who was well aware of the condition of the man he was treating, “it would seem like arrogance to claim that a guy who’s just been stabbed through the body is in any sort of safety. However, I can assure you that I don’t see any really bad signs right now, and unless something worse happens or a fever sets in, I hope you’ll be able to return, with all your dignity, to lead a frontline again.”

“I am glad to hear that is your opinion,” quoth the colonel, “for I am not desirous of dying, though I am not afraid of it. But, if anything worse than you apprehend should happen, I desire you will be a witness of my declaration that this young gentleman is entirely innocent. I forced him to do what he did. My dear Booth, I am pleased matters are as they are. You are the first man that ever gained an advantage over me; but it was very lucky for you that you disarmed me, and I doubt not but you have the equananimity to think so. If the business, therefore, hath ended without doing anything to the purpose, it was Fortune’s pleasure, and neither of our faults.”

“I’m glad to hear that’s your opinion,” the colonel said, “because I don’t want to die, though I’m not afraid of it. But if anything worse than what you fear happens, I want you to be a witness to my declaration that this young man is completely innocent. I forced him to do what he did. My dear Booth, I’m happy things are as they are. You’re the first person who has ever gotten the better of me; but it was very fortunate for you that you disarmed me, and I’m sure you can recognize that. Therefore, if this situation has ended without accomplishing anything, it was Fortune’s will, and neither of our faults.”

Booth heartily embraced the colonel, and assured him of the great satisfaction he had received from the surgeon’s opinion; and soon after the two combatants took their leave of each other. The colonel, after he was drest, went in a chair to his lodgings, and Booth walked on foot to his; where he luckily arrived without meeting any of Mr. Murphy’s gang; a danger which never once occurred to his imagination till he was out of it.

Booth warmly embraced the colonel and expressed his satisfaction with the surgeon's opinion. Soon after, the two fighters said their goodbyes. The colonel, once dressed, took a chair back to his place, while Booth walked to his, successfully avoiding any encounters with Mr. Murphy’s gang—a concern that hadn’t crossed his mind until he was out of danger.

The affair he had been about had indeed so entirely occupied his mind, that it had obliterated every other idea; among the rest, it caused him so absolutely to forget the time of the day, that, though he had exceeded the time of dining above two hours, he had not the least suspicion of being at home later than usual.

The situation he had been involved in had completely consumed his thoughts, to the point where it erased all other ideas; among other things, it made him completely lose track of time. Even though he was over two hours late for dinner, he had no clue he was home later than usual.










Chapter vi. — In which the reader will find matter worthy his consideration.

Amelia, having waited above an hour for her husband, concluded, as he was the most punctual man alive, that he had met with some engagement abroad, and sat down to her meal with her children; which, as it was always uncomfortable in the absence of her husband, was very short; so that, before his return, all the apparatus of dining was entirely removed.

Amelia, having waited over an hour for her husband, figured that since he was the most punctual man ever, he must have gotten caught up in some other obligation. She sat down to eat with her kids, but since it was always uncomfortable without her husband, the meal was really quick. By the time he got back, all the dining stuff had already been cleaned up.

Booth sat some time with his wife, expecting every minute when the little maid would make her appearance; at last, curiosity, I believe, rather than appetite, made him ask how long it was to dinner? “To dinner, my dear!” answered Amelia; “sure you have dined, I hope?” Booth replied in the negative; upon which his wife started from her chair, and bestirred herself as nimbly to provide him a repast as the most industrious hostess in the kingdom doth when some unexpected guest of extraordinary quality arrives at her house.

Booth sat with his wife for a while, waiting for the little maid to show up. Finally, curiosity, more than hunger, made him ask how long until dinner. “Dinner, my dear!” Amelia replied. “You have eaten, I hope?” Booth said he hadn't, and at that, his wife jumped up from her chair and quickly got to work preparing a meal for him, just like the most dedicated hostess would when an unexpected, distinguished guest arrives at her home.

The reader hath not, I think, from any passages hitherto recorded in this history, had much reason to accuse Amelia of a blameable curiosity; he will not, I hope, conclude that she gave an instance of any such fault when, upon Booth’s having so long overstayed his time, and so greatly mistaken the hour of the day, and upon some other circumstances of his behaviour (for he was too honest to be good at concealing any of his thoughts), she said to him after he had done eating, “My dear, I am sure something more than ordinary hath happened to-day, and I beg you will tell me what is.”

I don't think the reader has much reason to blame Amelia for being overly curious based on anything recorded so far in this story. I hope they won't think she showed any fault when, after Booth had taken so long and completely misjudged the time of day, along with some other aspects of his behavior (since he was too honest to hide his thoughts well), she said to him after he finished eating, “My dear, I’m sure something unusual has happened today, and I’d like you to tell me what it is.”

Booth answered that nothing of any consequence had happened; that he had been detained by a friend, whom he met accidently, longer than he expected. In short, he made many shuffling and evasive answers, not boldly lying out, which, perhaps, would have succeeded, but poorly and vainly endeavouring to reconcile falsehood with truth; an attempt which seldom fails to betray the most practised deceiver.

Booth replied that nothing important had happened; he had run into a friend unexpectedly and ended up talking longer than he planned. In short, he gave a lot of vague and evasive answers, not outright lying, which might have worked better, but instead poorly and foolishly trying to mix lies with the truth—an effort that rarely fails to reveal even the most experienced liar.

How impossible was it therefore for poor Booth to succeed in an art for which nature had so entirely disqualified him. His countenance, indeed, confessed faster than his tongue denied, and the whole of his behaviour gave Amelia an alarm, and made her suspect something very bad had happened; and, as her thoughts turned presently on the badness of their circumstances, she feared some mischief from his creditors had befallen him; for she was too ignorant of such matters to know that, if he had fallen into the hands of the Philistines (which is the name given by the faithful to bailiffs), he would hardly have been able so soon to recover his liberty. Booth at last perceived her to be so uneasy, that, as he saw no hopes of contriving any fiction to satisfy her, he thought himself obliged to tell her the truth, or at least part of the truth, and confessed that he had had a little skirmish with Colonel Bath, in which, he said, the colonel had received a slight wound, not at all dangerous; “and this,” says he, “is all the whole matter.” “If it be so,” cries Amelia, “I thank Heaven no worse hath happened; but why, my dear, will you ever converse with that madman, who can embrace a friend one moment, and fight with him the next?” “Nay, my dear,” answered Booth, “you yourself must confess, though he be a little too much on the qui vive, he is a man of great honour and good-nature.” “Tell me not,” replied she, “of such good-nature and honour as would sacrifice a friend and a whole family to a ridiculous whim. Oh, Heavens!” cried she, falling upon her knees, “from what misery have I escaped, from what have these poor babes escaped, through your gracious providence this day!” Then turning to her husband, she cried, “But are you sure the monster’s wound is no more dangerous than you say? a monster surely I may call him, who can quarrel with a man that could not, that I am convinced would not, offend him.”

How impossible was it for poor Booth to succeed in a field for which nature had completely disqualified him. His face revealed more than his words denied, and his whole demeanor alarmed Amelia, making her suspect something very bad had happened; as she thought about their difficult situation, she feared that some trouble with his creditors had come upon him; she was too naive to realize that if he had fallen into the hands of the Philistines (the term used by those faithful to describe bailiffs), he wouldn’t have been able to regain his freedom so quickly. Booth finally noticed that she was so anxious that, seeing no way to create a story to calm her, he felt it was necessary to tell her the truth, or at least part of it, and admitted that he had a little altercation with Colonel Bath, in which, he said, the colonel got a minor wound, nothing serious; “and this,” he said, “is all there is to it.” “If that’s the case,” Amelia exclaimed, “I thank Heaven that no worse has happened; but why, my dear, do you insist on speaking with that madman, who can hug a friend one moment and fight him the next?” “Well, dear,” Booth replied, “you have to admit, even though he’s a bit too jumpy, he’s a man of great honor and good nature.” “Don’t tell me,” she responded, “about such good nature and honor that would put a friend and an entire family at risk for a ridiculous whim. Oh, Heavens!” she cried, falling to her knees, “from what misery have I escaped, from what have these poor babies escaped, through your gracious providence today!” Then turning to her husband, she exclaimed, “But are you sure the monster's wound is no more serious than you say? A monster, I can surely call him, who can quarrel with a man who could not, and I am convinced would not, offend him.”

Upon this question, Booth repeated the assurances which the surgeon had given them, perhaps with a little enlargement, which pretty well satisfied Amelia; and instead of blaming her husband for what he had done, she tenderly embraced him, and again returned thanks to Heaven for his safety.

Upon hearing this question, Booth reiterated the assurances that the surgeon had provided them, perhaps adding a bit more detail, which mostly reassured Amelia; instead of blaming her husband for his actions, she lovingly embraced him and once again thanked Heaven for his safety.

In the evening Booth insisted on paying a short visit to the colonel, highly against the inclination of Amelia, who, by many arguments and entreaties, endeavoured to dissuade her husband from continuing an acquaintance in which, she said, she should always foresee much danger for the future. However, she was at last prevailed upon to acquiesce; and Booth went to the colonel, whose lodgings happened to be in the verge as well as his own.

In the evening, Booth insisted on making a quick visit to the colonel, despite Amelia's strong reluctance. She tried to convince her husband with many arguments and pleas that it was not a good idea to keep up a relationship that she always feared would bring trouble in the future. However, she ultimately agreed to go along with it, and Booth headed to the colonel's place, which was also nearby, just like his own.

He found the colonel in his night-gown, and his great chair, engaged with another officer at a game of chess. He rose immediately, and, having heartily embraced Booth, presented him to his friend, saying, he had the honour to introduce to him as brave and as fortitudinous a man as any in the king’s dominions. He then took Booth with him into the next room, and desired him not to mention a word of what had happened in the morning; saying, “I am very well satisfied that no more hath happened; however, as it ended in nothing, I could wish it might remain a secret.” Booth told him he was heartily glad to find him so well, and promised never to mention it more to any one.

He found the colonel in his nightgown, sitting in his big chair, playing chess with another officer. He immediately got up and, after warmly embracing Booth, introduced him to his friend, saying he was honored to present such a brave and strong man as anyone in the king’s territory. He then took Booth into the next room and asked him not to mention anything about what had happened in the morning, saying, “I’m very confident that nothing more occurred; however, since it led to nothing, I’d prefer it to stay a secret.” Booth told him he was really glad to see him doing well and promised never to bring it up again.

The game at chess being but just begun, and neither of the parties having gained any considerable advantage, they neither of them insisted on continuing it; and now the colonel’s antagonist took his leave and left the colonel and Booth together.

The game of chess had just started, and neither side had gained any significant advantage, so neither insisted on continuing it; and now the colonel's opponent said goodbye and left the colonel and Booth alone.

As soon as they were alone, the latter earnestly entreated the former to acquaint him with the real cause of his anger; “for may I perish,” cries Booth, “if I can even guess what I have ever done to offend either you, or your brother. Colonel James.”

As soon as they were alone, the latter seriously asked the former to tell him the real reason for his anger; “I swear,” Booth exclaimed, “I can’t even imagine what I’ve done to upset either you or your brother, Colonel James.”

“Look’ee, child,” cries the colonel; “I tell you I am for my own part satisfied; for I am convinced that a man who will fight can never be a rascal; and, therefore, why should you enquire any more of me at present? when I see my brother James, I hope to reconcile all matters, and perhaps no more swords need be drawn on this occasion.” But Booth still persisting in his desire, the colonel, after some hesitation, with a tremendous oath, cried out, “I do not think myself at liberty to refuse you after the indignity I offered you; so, since you demand it of me, I will inform you. My brother told me you had used him dishonourably, and had divellicated his character behind his back. He gave me his word, too, that he was well assured of what he said. What could I have done? though I own to you I did not believe him, and your behaviour since hath convinced me I was in the right; I must either have given him the lye, and fought with him, or else I was obliged to behave as I did, and fight with you. And now, my lad, I leave it to you to do as you please; but, if you are laid under any necessity to do yourself further justice, it is your own fault.”

“Listen up, kid,” the colonel says. “I want you to know I’m satisfied because I believe that a man willing to fight can’t be a bad guy. So, why are you still asking me about this? When I see my brother James, I hope we can settle everything, and maybe we won’t need to draw swords this time.” But Booth kept insisting, and after some hesitation, the colonel swore loudly, “I don’t think I can refuse you after the disrespect I showed you. So, since you’re asking, I’ll tell you. My brother said you treated him dishonorably and messed up his reputation behind his back. He also promised me he was sure about what he said. What was I supposed to do? Though I’ll admit I didn’t believe him, and your actions since have shown I was right. I had to either call him a liar and fight him, or act as I did and fight you. So now, it’s up to you to decide what you want to do; but if you feel you need to take further action, that’s on you.”

“Alas! colonel,” answered Booth, “besides the obligations I have to the colonel, I have really so much love for him, that I think of nothing less than resentment. All I wish is to have this affair brought to an eclaircissement, and to satisfy him that he is in an error; for, though his assertions are cruelly injurious, and I have never deserved them, yet I am convinced he would not say what he did not himself think. Some rascal, envious of his friendship for me, hath belyed me to him; and the only resentment I desire is, to convince him of his mistake.”

“Unfortunately, Colonel,” Booth replied, “in addition to my obligations to you, I genuinely care for you, so I can’t think of anything but wanting to clear this up. All I want is for this situation to be resolved and to show you that you’re mistaken; because even though your accusations are incredibly hurtful and I don’t deserve them, I truly believe you wouldn’t say something you didn’t think yourself. Someone, jealous of our friendship, has misled you about me; and the only thing I want is to prove you wrong.”

At these words the colonel grinned horribly a ghastly smile, or rather sneer, and answered, “Young gentleman, you may do as you please; but, by the eternal dignity of man, if any man breathing had taken a liberty with my character—Here, here—Mr. Booth (shewing his fingers), here d—n me, should be his nostrils; he should breathe through my hands, and breathe his last, d—n me.”

At these words, the colonel grinned in a terrifying way, more like a sneer, and replied, “Young man, you can do whatever you want; but, by the eternal dignity of man, if anyone had disrespected my character—Here, here—Mr. Booth (showing his fingers), here damn it, should be his nostrils; he should breathe through my hands and take his last breath, damn it.”

Booth answered, “I think, colonel, I may appeal to your testimony that I dare do myself justice; since he who dare draw his sword against you can hardly be supposed to fear any other person; but I repeat to you again that I love Colonel James so well, and am so greatly obliged to him, that it would be almost indifferent to me whether I directed my sword against his breast or my own.”

Booth replied, “I believe, colonel, I can rely on your testimony that I’m brave enough to stand up for myself; since anyone who would draw their sword against you can hardly be expected to fear anyone else. But I’ll say it again—I care for Colonel James a lot and feel very grateful to him, so it wouldn’t matter much to me whether I aimed my sword at his heart or my own.”

The colonel’s muscles were considerably softened by Booth’s last speech; but he again contracted them into a vast degree of fierceness before he cried out—“Boy, thou hast reason enough to be vain; for thou art the first person that ever could proudly say he gained an advantage over me in combat. I believe, indeed, thou art not afraid of any man breathing, and, as I know thou hast some obligations to my brother, I do not discommend thee; for nothing more becomes the dignity of a man than gratitude. Besides, as I am satisfied my brother can produce the author of the slander—I say, I am satisfied of that—d—n me, if any man alive dares assert the contrary; for that would be to make my brother himself a liar—I will make him produce his author; and then, my dear boy, your doing yourself proper justice there will bring you finely out of the whole affair. As soon as my surgeon gives me leave to go abroad, which, I hope, will be in a few days, I will bring my brother James to a tavern where you shall meet us; and I will engage my honour, my whole dignity to you, to make you friends.”

The colonel's muscles relaxed considerably after Booth's last speech; but he quickly tensed them again with great intensity before shouting, “Kid, you’ve got every reason to be cocky; you’re the first person who can honestly say they got the upper hand on me in a fight. I truly believe you aren’t scared of anyone alive, and since I know you owe my brother something, I won’t criticize you for that; because nothing shows a man’s dignity better than gratitude. Plus, I’m confident my brother can identify the source of the slander—I’m sure of it—damn it, if any man has the guts to say otherwise; that would mean my brother himself is a liar. I’ll make him show who said it; and then, my dear boy, once you clear your name, you’ll come out of this looking great. As soon as my surgeon gives me the go-ahead, which I hope will be in a few days, I’ll bring my brother James to a bar where you can meet us; I promise you with my honor and my whole reputation that I’ll make sure you two become friends.”

The assurance of the colonel gave Booth great pleasure; for few persons ever loved a friend better than he did James; and as for doing military justice on the author of that scandalous report which had incensed his friend against him, not Bath himself was ever more ready, on such an occasion, than Booth to execute it. He soon after took his leave, and returned home in high spirits to his Amelia, whom he found in Mrs. Ellison’s apartment, engaged in a party at ombre with that lady and her right honourable cousin.

The colonel's reassurance brought Booth great joy because few people cared for a friend as much as he cared for James. When it came to serving military justice on the person behind that scandalous report that had upset his friend, Booth was just as eager as Bath himself would have been in similar circumstances. Shortly after, he said his goodbyes and headed home in high spirits to his Amelia, who he discovered in Mrs. Ellison's room, playing ombre with that lady and her distinguished cousin.

His lordship had, it seems, had a second interview with the great man, and, having obtained further hopes (for I think there was not yet an absolute promise) of success in Mr. Booth’s affairs, his usual good-nature brought him immediately to acquaint Mr. Booth with it. As he did not therefore find him at home, and as he met with the two ladies together, he resolved to stay till his friend’s return, which he was assured would not be long, especially as he was so lucky, he said, to have no particular engagement that whole evening.

His lordship had apparently had a second meeting with the important man, and, having received more hope (since I think there wasn’t a definite promise yet) of success in Mr. Booth’s matters, his usual good nature prompted him to quickly inform Mr. Booth about it. Since he didn’t find him at home and came across the two ladies together, he decided to wait for his friend’s return, which he was assured wouldn’t take long, especially since he said he was fortunate to have no specific commitments that entire evening.

We remarked before that his lordship, at the first interview with Amelia, had distinguished her by a more particular address from the other ladies; but that now appeared to be rather owing to his perfect good-breeding, as she was then to be considered as the mistress of the house, than from any other preference. His present behaviour made this still more manifest; for, as he was now in Mrs. Ellison’s apartment, though she was his relation and an old acquaintance, he applied his conversation rather more to her than to Amelia. His eyes, indeed, were now and then guilty of the contrary distinction, but this was only by stealth; for they constantly withdrew the moment they were discovered. In short, he treated Amelia with the greatest distance, and at the same time with the most profound and awful respect; his conversation was so general, so lively, and so obliging, that Amelia, when she added to his agreeableness the obligations she had to him for his friendship to Booth, was certainly as much pleased with his lordship as any virtuous woman can possibly be with any man, besides her own husband.

We mentioned earlier that his lordship, during his first meeting with Amelia, singled her out with a more personal manner than the other ladies; but it now seemed that this was more due to his impeccable manners, since she was regarded as the lady of the house, rather than any special preference he had. His current behavior made this even clearer; since he was in Mrs. Ellison’s room, despite her being a relative and an old friend, he directed his conversation more towards her than to Amelia. His eyes occasionally betrayed a different interest, but that was only fleeting; they quickly shifted away as soon as they were noticed. In short, he treated Amelia with a marked distance while showing her deep and serious respect; his conversation was so broad, lively, and courteous that Amelia, especially considering her gratitude for his friendship with Booth, found him as agreeable as any virtuous woman can find any man, apart from her own husband.










Chapter vii. — Containing various matters.

We have already mentioned the good-humour in which Booth returned home; and the reader will easily believe it was not a little encreased by the good-humour in which he found his company. My lord received him with the utmost marks of friendship and affection, and told him that his affairs went on as well almost as he himself could desire, and that he doubted not very soon to wish him joy of a company.

We already noted the cheerful mood in which Booth returned home; and it's easy to believe that it was further boosted by the pleasant atmosphere he found among his companions. My lord welcomed him with great signs of friendship and warmth, telling him that his situation was going as well as he could have hoped, and that he was sure he would soon be congratulating him on an engagement.

When Booth had made a proper return to all his lordship’s unparalleled goodness, he whispered Amelia that the colonel was entirely out of danger, and almost as well as himself. This made her satisfaction complete, threw her into such spirits, and gave such a lustre to her eyes, that her face, as Horace says, was too dazzling to be looked at; it was certainly too handsome to be looked at without the highest admiration.

When Booth had adequately expressed his gratitude for all his lordship’s unmatched kindness, he quietly told Amelia that the colonel was completely out of danger and nearly as well as he was. This made her utterly happy, lifted her spirits, and added such a sparkle to her eyes that her face, as Horace says, was too bright to look at; it was definitely too beautiful to be admired without the utmost admiration.

His lordship departed about ten o’clock, and left the company in raptures with him, especially the two ladies, of whom it is difficult to say which exceeded the other in his commendations. Mrs. Ellison swore she believed he was the best of all humankind; and Amelia, without making any exception, declared he was the finest gentleman and most agreeable man she had ever seen in her life; adding, it was great pity he should remain single. “That’s true, indeed,” cries Mrs. Ellison, “and I have often lamented it; nay, I am astonished at it, considering the great liking he always shews for our sex, and he may certainly have the choice of all. The real reason, I believe, is, his fondness for his sister’s children. I declare, madam, if you was to see his behaviour to them, you would think they were his own. Indeed he is vastly fond of all manner of children.” “Good creature!” cries Amelia; “if ever he doth me the honour of another visit I am resolved I will shew him my little things. I think, Mrs. Ellison, as you say my lord loves children, I may say, without vanity, he will not see many such.” “No, indeed, will he not,” answered Mrs. Ellison: “and now I think on’t, madam, I wonder at my own stupidity in never making the offer before; but since you put it into my head, if you will give me leave, I’ll take master and miss to wait on my lord’s nephew and niece. They are very pretty behaved children; and little master and miss will be, I dare swear, very happy in their acquaintance; besides, if my lord himself should see them, I know what will happen; for he is the most generous of all human beings.”

His lordship left around ten o’clock, and the group was thrilled with him, especially the two ladies, making it hard to say which one praised him more. Mrs. Ellison insisted that she believed he was the best person in the world; and Amelia, without any reservations, claimed he was the finest gentleman and most pleasant man she had ever met in her life, adding that it was a real shame he should stay single. “That’s absolutely true,” exclaimed Mrs. Ellison, “and I’ve often thought about it; in fact, I’m amazed, considering how much he clearly likes our gender, and he could have anyone he wanted. I believe the real reason is his affection for his sister’s kids. I swear, madam, if you saw how he acts around them, you’d think they were his own. He really adores all kinds of kids.” “Such a good guy!” exclaimed Amelia; “if he ever honors me with another visit, I’m determined to show him my little ones. I think, Mrs. Ellison, since you mentioned my lord loves children, I can say without being vain that he won’t see many like mine.” “No, he certainly won’t,” replied Mrs. Ellison. “Now that I think about it, madam, I’m surprised at my own foolishness for never suggesting it before; but since you’ve brought it up, if you’ll allow me, I’ll take my kids to visit my lord’s nephew and niece. They’re very well-behaved kids, and I’m sure little master and miss will be delighted to meet them; besides, if my lord himself sees them, I know how that will go, because he is the kindest person you could ever meet.”

Amelia very readily accepted the favour which Mrs. Ellison offered her; but Booth exprest some reluctance. “Upon my word, my dear,” said he, with a smile, “this behaviour of ours puts me in mind of the common conduct of beggars; who, whenever they receive a favour, are sure to send other objects to the same fountain of charity. Don’t we, my dear, repay our obligations to my lord in the same manner, by sending our children a begging to him?”

Amelia quickly accepted the favor that Mrs. Ellison offered her; but Booth showed some hesitation. “Honestly, my dear,” he said with a smile, “our behavior reminds me of how beggars act; whenever they receive a favor, they always send other people to the same source of charity. Don’t we, my dear, repay our debts to my lord in the same way, by sending our kids to beg from him?”

“O beastly!” cries Mrs. Ellison; “how could such a thought enter your brains? I protest, madam, I begin to grow ashamed of this husband of yours. How can you have so vulgar a way of thinking? Begging, indeed! the poor little dear things a begging! If my lord was capable of such a thought, though he was my own brother instead of my cousin, I should scorn him too much ever to enter his doors.” “O dear madam!” answered Amelia, “you take Mr. Booth too seriously, when he was only in jest; and the children shall wait upon you whenever you please.”

“O beastly!” cries Mrs. Ellison; “how could such a thought enter your heads? I really, madam, am starting to feel ashamed of this husband of yours. How can you think so poorly? Begging, really! the poor little dears begging! If my lord were capable of such a thought, even if he were my own brother instead of my cousin, I would scorn him too much to ever set foot in his house.” “Oh dear madam!” responded Amelia, “you’re taking Mr. Booth too seriously; he was only joking, and the children can wait on you whenever you like.”

Though Booth had been a little more in earnest than Amelia had represented him, and was not, perhaps, quite so much in the wrong as he was considered by Mrs. Ellison, yet, seeing there were two to one against him, he wisely thought proper to recede, and let his simile go off with that air of a jest which his wife had given it.

Though Booth was a bit more serious than Amelia had portrayed him, and wasn’t really as much in the wrong as Mrs. Ellison believed, he wisely decided to step back since the odds were two to one against him. He let his comment fade away with the playful tone that his wife had given it.

Mrs. Ellison, however, could not let it pass without paying some compliments to Amelia’s understanding, nor without some obscure reflexions upon Booth, with whom she was more offended than the matter required. She was indeed a woman of most profuse generosity, and could not bear a thought which she deemed vulgar or sneaking. She afterwards launched forth the most profuse encomiums of his lordship’s liberality, and concluded the evening with some instances which he had given of that virtue which, if not the noblest, is, perhaps, one of the most useful to society with which great and rich men can be endowed.

Mrs. Ellison, though, couldn't let it go without complimenting Amelia's intelligence and reflecting somewhat negatively on Booth, with whom she was more annoyed than necessary. She was indeed a woman of extreme generosity and could not stand anything she considered to be tacky or cowardly. Later, she began praising his lordship's generosity profusely and wrapped up the evening with examples of his kindness, which, if not the highest virtue, is probably one of the most valuable traits that wealthy and powerful individuals can possess.

The next morning early, serjeant Atkinson came to wait on lieutenant Booth, and desired to speak with his honour in private. Upon which the lieutenant and serjeant took a walk together in the Park. Booth expected every minute when the serjeant would open his mouth; under which expectation he continued till he came to the end of the mall, and so he might have continued till he came to the end of the world; for, though several words stood at the end of the serjeant’s lips, there they were likely to remain for ever. He was, indeed, in the condition of a miser, whom a charitable impulse hath impelled to draw a few pence to the edge of his pocket, where they are altogether as secure as if they were in the bottom; for, as the one hath not the heart to part with a farthing, so neither had the other the heart to speak a word.

The next morning, Sergeant Atkinson came to see Lieutenant Booth and asked to speak with him privately. So, the lieutenant and sergeant took a walk together in the park. Booth expected that any minute, the sergeant would start talking; he waited in anticipation until they reached the end of the mall, and he could have kept waiting until the end of time. Even though several words were ready to come out of the sergeant’s mouth, they were likely to stay there forever. He was, in fact, like a miser who feels a charitable urge to pull a few coins to the edge of his pocket, where they’re just as safe as if they were buried at the bottom; just as the miser can’t bring himself to part with a penny, the sergeant couldn’t bring himself to say a word.

Booth at length, wondering that the serjeant did not speak, asked him, What his business was? when the latter with a stammering voice began the following apology: “I hope, sir, your honour will not be angry, nor take anything amiss of me. I do assure you, it was not of my seeking, nay, I dare not proceed in the matter without first asking your leave. Indeed, if I had taken any liberties from the goodness you have been pleased to shew me, I should look upon myself as one of the most worthless and despicable of wretches; but nothing is farther from my thoughts. I know the distance which is between us; and, because your honour hath been so kind and good as to treat me with more familiarity than any other officer ever did, if I had been base enough to take any freedoms, or to encroach upon your honour’s goodness, I should deserve to be whipt through the regiment. I hope, therefore, sir, you will not suspect me of any such attempt.”

Booth, wondering why the sergeant wasn't speaking, finally asked him what he needed. The sergeant, with a shaky voice, started his apology: “I hope, sir, you won’t be angry or take anything the wrong way. I assure you, I didn't seek this out, and I wouldn’t dare to continue without asking your permission first. Honestly, if I had taken any liberties because of your kindness, I would see myself as one of the most worthless and despicable people. But that's far from my mind. I know the distance between us; and because you’ve been so nice and treated me with more familiarity than any other officer has, if I were low enough to take liberties or overstep your generosity, I would deserve to be punished through the regiment. So, I hope you won’t suspect me of anything like that.”

“What can all this mean, Atkinson?” cries Booth; “what mighty matter would you introduce with all this previous apology?”

“What does all this mean, Atkinson?” Booth exclaims; “what important issue are you trying to bring up with all this preamble?”

“I am almost ashamed and afraid to mention it,” answered the serjeant; “and yet I am sure your honour will believe what I have said, and not think anything owing to my own presumption; and, at the same time, I have no reason to think you would do anything to spoil my fortune in an honest way, when it is dropt into my lap without my own seeking. For may I perish if it is not all the lady’s own goodness, and I hope in Heaven, with your honour’s leave, I shall live to make her amends for it.” In a word, that we may not detain the reader’s curiosity quite so long as he did Booth’s, he acquainted that gentleman that he had had an offer of marriage from a lady of his acquaintance, to whose company he had introduced him, and desired his permission to accept of it.

“I’m almost too embarrassed and nervous to bring it up,” replied the sergeant; “but I believe you’ll trust what I’m saying and not think it’s just my arrogance. At the same time, I can’t imagine you’d do anything to ruin my chance at this fortune, especially since it’s come to me without any effort on my part. Honestly, it’s all thanks to the lady’s kindness, and I hope, with your permission, I’ll have the chance to repay her for it.” In short, to not keep the reader in suspense as long as he did Booth, he informed that gentleman that he had received a marriage proposal from a lady he knew, to whom he had introduced Booth, and requested his approval to accept it.

Booth must have been very dull indeed if, after what the serjeant had said, and after what he had heard Mrs. Ellison say, he had wanted any information concerning the lady. He answered him briskly and chearfully, that he had his free consent to marry any woman whatever; “and the greater and richer she is,” added he, “the more I shall be pleased with the match. I don’t enquire who the lady is,” said he, smiling, “but I hope she will make as good a wife as, I am convinced, her husband will deserve.”

Booth must have been pretty clueless if, after what the sergeant said and after hearing Mrs. Ellison, he still wanted any information about the lady. He replied quickly and cheerfully that he had his full approval to marry any woman he wanted; “and the bigger and wealthier she is,” he added, “the happier I’ll be with the match. I’m not asking who the lady is,” he said with a smile, “but I hope she’ll be as good a wife as I’m sure her husband will deserve.”

“Your honour hath been always too good to me,” cries Atkinson; “but this I promise you, I will do all in my power to merit the kindness she is pleased to shew me. I will be bold to say she will marry an honest man, though he is but a poor one; and she shall never want anything which I can give her or do for her, while my name is Joseph Atkinson.”

“Your honor has always been too good to me,” Atkinson says. “But I promise you, I will do everything I can to deserve the kindness she shows me. I’ll boldly say she will marry an honest man, even if he’s just a poor one; and she will never lack anything that I can give or do for her, as long as my name is Joseph Atkinson.”

“And so her name is a secret, Joe, is it?” cries Booth.

“And so her name is a secret, Joe, right?” Booth exclaims.

“Why, sir,” answered the serjeant, “I hope your honour will not insist upon knowing that, as I think it would be dishonourable in me to mention it.”

“Why, sir,” the sergeant replied, “I hope you won't insist on knowing that, as I believe it would be dishonorable for me to mention it.”

“Not at all,” replied Booth; “I am the farthest in the world from any such desire. I know thee better than to imagine thou wouldst disclose the name of a fair lady.” Booth then shook Atkinson heartily by the hand, and assured him earnestly of the joy he had in his good fortune; for which the good serjeant failed not of making all proper acknowledgments. After which they parted, and Booth returned home.

“Not at all,” Booth replied. “I have no desire for that at all. I know you well enough to believe you would share the name of a fair lady.” Booth then shook Atkinson's hand warmly and sincerely expressed his happiness about his good fortune, which the good sergeant appropriately acknowledged. After that, they parted ways, and Booth went home.

As Mrs. Ellison opened the door, Booth hastily rushed by; for he had the utmost difficulty to prevent laughing in her face. He ran directly up-stairs, and, throwing himself into a chair, discharged such a fit of laughter as greatly surprized, and at first almost frightened, his wife.

As Mrs. Ellison opened the door, Booth quickly dashed past her; he could barely contain his laughter in her presence. He hurried upstairs and, collapsing into a chair, burst into such fits of laughter that it initially shocked and almost terrified his wife.

Amelia, it will be supposed, presently enquired into the cause of this phenomenon, with which Booth, as soon as he was able (for that was not within a few minutes), acquainted her. The news did not affect her in the same manner it had affected her husband. On the contrary, she cried, “I protest I cannot guess what makes you see it in so ridiculous a light. I really think Mrs. Ellison hath chosen very well. I am convinced Joe will make her one of the best of husbands; and, in my opinion, that is the greatest blessing a woman can be possessed of.”

Amelia, it can be assumed, soon asked about the reason for this situation, which Booth, as soon as he could (which wasn’t for a few minutes), told her about. The news didn’t hit her the same way it had hit her husband. On the contrary, she exclaimed, “I really can’t understand why you see it as so silly. I truly think Mrs. Ellison has made a great choice. I’m convinced Joe will be one of the best husbands, and in my opinion, that’s the greatest blessing a woman can have.”

However, when Mrs. Ellison came into her room a little while afterwards to fetch the children, Amelia became of a more risible disposition, especially when the former, turning to Booth, who was then present, said, “So, captain, my jantee-serjeant was very early here this morning. I scolded my maid heartily for letting him wait so long in the entry like a lacquais, when she might have shewn him into my inner apartment.” At which words Booth burst out into a very loud laugh; and Amelia herself could no more prevent laughing than she could blushing.

However, when Mrs. Ellison came into her room a little while later to get the children, Amelia became more cheerful, especially when Mrs. Ellison turned to Booth, who was there at the time, and said, “So, captain, my jantee-serjeant was here very early this morning. I gave my maid a good scolding for making him wait so long in the hallway like a servant when she could have shown him into my private room.” At those words, Booth burst out laughing loudly, and Amelia couldn’t help but laugh as well, just as she couldn’t stop herself from blushing.

“Heyday!” cries Mrs. Ellison; “what have I said to cause all this mirth?” and at the same time blushed, and looked very silly, as is always the case with persons who suspect themselves to be the objects of laughter, without absolutely taking what it is which makes them ridiculous.

“Wow!” Mrs. Ellison exclaims; “what did I say to cause all this laughter?” and at the same time blushes and looks quite foolish, as always happens with people who think they are the targets of laughter, without really understanding what makes them ridiculous.

Booth still continued laughing; but Amelia, composing her muscles, said, “I ask your pardon, dear Mrs. Ellison; but Mr. Booth hath been in a strange giggling humour all this morning; and I really think it is infectious.”

Booth kept on laughing; but Amelia, gathering herself together, said, “I apologize, dear Mrs. Ellison; but Mr. Booth has been in a strange giggling mood all morning, and I really think it’s contagious.”

“I ask your pardon, too, madam,” cries Booth, “but one is sometimes unaccountably foolish.”

“I apologize as well, ma’am,” Booth exclaims, “but sometimes we act inexplicably foolish.”

“Nay, but seriously,” said she, “what is the matter?—something I said about the serjeant, I believe; but you may laugh as much as you please; I am not ashamed of owning I think him one of the prettiest fellows I ever saw in my life; and, I own, I scolded my maid at suffering him to wait in my entry; and where is the mighty ridiculous matter, pray?”

“Nah, but seriously,” she said, “what’s going on?—I think it was something I said about the sergeant; but laugh as much as you want; I’m not ashamed to admit I think he’s one of the most handsome guys I’ve ever seen in my life; and I have to say, I scolded my maid for letting him wait in my entry; and what’s so ridiculously funny about that, pray?”

“None at all,” answered Booth; “and I hope the next time he will be ushered into your inner apartment.”

“Not at all,” Booth replied; “and I hope next time he’ll be shown into your private room.”

“Why should he not, sir?” replied she, “for, wherever he is ushered, I am convinced he will behave himself as a gentleman should.”

“Why shouldn’t he, sir?” she replied. “Wherever he goes, I’m sure he will act like a gentleman should.”

Here Amelia put an end to the discourse, or it might have proceeded to very great lengths; for Booth was of a waggish inclination, and Mrs. Ellison was not a lady of the nicest delicacy.

Here Amelia ended the conversation, or it could have gone on for a long time; because Booth had a playful nature, and Mrs. Ellison was not a woman of the slightest refinement.










Chapter viii. — The heroic behaviour of Colonel Bath.

Booth went this morning to pay a second visit to the colonel, where he found Colonel James. Both the colonel and the lieutenant appeared a little shocked at their first meeting, but matters were soon cleared up; for the former presently advanced to the latter, shook him heartily by the hand, and said, “Mr. Booth, I am ashamed to see you; for I have injured you, and I heartily ask your pardon. I am now perfectly convinced that what I hinted to my brother, and which I find had like to have produced such fatal consequences, was entirely groundless. If you will be contented with my asking your pardon, and spare me the disagreeable remembrance of what led me into my error, I shall esteem it as the highest obligation.”

Booth went this morning to pay a second visit to the colonel, where he found Colonel James. Both the colonel and the lieutenant seemed a bit taken aback during their first meeting, but things quickly got cleared up. The colonel stepped forward, shook the lieutenant's hand warmly, and said, “Mr. Booth, I’m embarrassed to see you; I've wronged you, and I sincerely ask for your forgiveness. I’m now fully convinced that what I hinted to my brother, which nearly led to such dire consequences, was completely unfounded. If you could accept my apology and let me forget the unpleasant situation that caused my mistake, I would consider it a great favor.”

Booth answered, “As to what regards yourself, my dear colonel, I am abundantly satisfied; but, as I am convinced some rascal hath been my enemy with you in the cruellest manner, I hope you will not deny me the opportunity of kicking him through the world.”

Booth replied, “As for you, my dear colonel, I’m completely satisfied; however, since I’m sure some scoundrel has been my enemy with you in the worst way, I hope you won’t deny me the chance to kick him out of my life.”

“By all the dignity of man,” cries Colonel Bath, “the boy speaks with spirit, and his request is reasonable.”

“By all the dignity of man,” shouts Colonel Bath, “the boy speaks with spirit, and his request is fair.”

Colonel James hesitated a moment, and then whispered Booth that he would give him all the satisfaction imaginable concerning the whole affair when they were alone together; upon which, Booth addressing himself to Colonel Bath, the discourse turned on other matters during the remainder of the visit, which was but short, and then both went away together, leaving Colonel Bath as well as it was possible to expect, more to the satisfaction of Booth than of Colonel James, who would not have been displeased if his wound had been more dangerous; for he was grown somewhat weary of a disposition that he rather called captious than heroic, and which, as he every day more and more hated his wife, he apprehended might some time or other give him some trouble; for Bath was the most affectionate of brothers, and had often swore, in the presence of James, that he would eat any man alive who should use his sister ill.

Colonel James hesitated for a moment and then whispered to Booth that he would give him all the details about the whole situation when they were alone. After that, Booth turned to Colonel Bath, and their conversation shifted to other topics for the rest of the short visit. They both left together, leaving Colonel Bath as satisfied as could be expected, which pleased Booth more than it did Colonel James. James wouldn’t have minded if his injury had been more serious because he had grown a bit tired of what he thought of as a more critical than heroic attitude. As he increasingly disliked his wife, he worried that this attitude might cause him trouble someday. Bath, being the most caring brother, had often sworn in front of James that he would do anything to defend his sister from anyone who treated her badly.

Colonel Bath was well satisfied that his brother and the lieutenant were gone out with a design of tilting, from which he offered not a syllable to dissuade them, as he was convinced it was right, and that Booth could not in honour take, nor the colonel give, any less satisfaction. When they had been gone therefore about half an hour, he rang his bell to enquire if there was any news of his brother; a question which he repeated every ten minutes for the space of two hours, when, having heard nothing of him, he began to conclude that both were killed on the spot.

Colonel Bath was quite pleased that his brother and the lieutenant had gone out to duel, and he didn’t say anything to stop them, as he believed it was the right thing to do. He thought Booth couldn’t, in good honor, accept or the colonel offer any less satisfaction. After they had been gone for about half an hour, he rang his bell to ask if there was any news about his brother—a question he repeated every ten minutes for two hours. When he still hadn’t heard anything, he started to fear that both of them had been killed on the spot.

While he was in this state of anxiety his sister came to see him; for, notwithstanding his desire of keeping it a secret, the duel had blazed all over the town. After receiving some kind congratulations on his safety, and some unkind hints concerning the warmth of his temper, the colonel asked her when she had seen her husband? she answered not that morning. He then communicated to her his suspicion, told her he was convinced his brother had drawn his sword that day, and that, as neither of them had heard anything from him, he began to apprehend the worst that could happen.

While he was feeling anxious, his sister came to visit him; even though he wanted to keep it a secret, news of the duel had spread all over town. After receiving some kind wishes for his safety and a few rude comments about his temper, the colonel asked her when she had last seen her husband. She replied that she hadn't seen him that morning. He then shared his suspicion, expressing his belief that his brother had drawn his sword that day, and since neither of them had heard from him, he started to fear the worst.

Neither Miss Bellamy nor Mrs. Gibber were ever in a greater consternation on the stage than now appeared in the countenance of Mrs. James. “Good Heavens! brother,” cries she; “what do you tell me? you have frightened me to death. Let your man get me a glass of water immediately, if you have not a mind to see me die before your face. When, where, how was this quarrel? why did you not prevent it if you knew of it? is it not enough to be every day tormenting me with hazarding your own life, but must you bring the life of one who you know must be, and ought to be, so much the dearest of all to me, into danger? take your sword, brother, take your sword, and plunge it into my bosom; it would be kinder of you than to fill it with such dreads and terrors.” Here she swallowed the glass of water, and then threw herself back in her chair, as if she had intended to faint away.

Neither Miss Bellamy nor Mrs. Gibber had ever looked more alarmed on stage than Mrs. James did now. “Good heavens, brother,” she exclaimed; “what are you telling me? You’ve scared me to death. Get me a glass of water right now, unless you want to watch me die in front of you. When, where, and how did this fight happen? Why didn’t you stop it if you knew about it? Is it not enough that you torment me every day by risking your own life, but you must also put the life of someone who is, and should be, the dearest to me in danger? Take your sword, brother, take your sword, and drive it into my chest; it would be kinder than filling me with such fears and anxieties.” She gulped down the glass of water and then slumped back in her chair, as if she were about to faint.

Perhaps, if she had so, the colonel would have lent her no assistance, for she had hurt him more than by ten thousand stabs. He sat erect in his chair, with his eyebrows knit, his forehead wrinkled, his eyes flashing fire, his teeth grating against each other, and breathing horrour all round him. In this posture he sat for some time silent, casting disdainful looks at his sister. At last his voice found its way through a passion which had almost choaked him, and he cried out, “Sister, what have I done to deserve the opinion you express of me? which of my actions hath made you conclude that I am a rascal and a coward? look at that poor sword, which never woman yet saw but in its sheath; what hath that done to merit your desire that it should be contaminated with the blood of a woman?”

Maybe if she had, the colonel wouldn't have helped her at all, because she had hurt him more than if he had been stabbed a thousand times. He sat up straight in his chair, with his eyebrows furrowed, his forehead creased, his eyes burning with anger, his teeth grinding together, and an air of horror around him. He remained like that for a while, silent, casting scornful glances at his sister. Finally, his voice broke through a rage that had nearly suffocated him, and he shouted, “Sister, what have I done to deserve the opinion you have of me? Which of my actions has led you to believe that I am a scoundrel and a coward? Look at that poor sword, which no woman has ever seen except when it's in its sheath; what has it done to deserve your wish for it to be tainted with a woman's blood?”

“Alas! brother,” cried she, “I know not what you say; you are desirous, I believe, to terrify me out of the little senses I have left. What can I have said, in the agonies of grief into which you threw me, to deserve this passion?”

“Alas! brother,” she cried, “I don’t understand what you’re saying; I think you want to scare me out of the little sanity I have left. What could I have possibly said, in my grief that you caused, to deserve this anger?”

“What have you said?” answered the colonel: “you have said that which, if a man had spoken, nay, d—n me, if he had but hinted that he durst even think, I would have made him eat my sword; by all the dignity of man, I would have crumbled his soul into powder. But I consider that the words were spoken by a woman, and I am calm again. Consider, my dear, that you are my sister, and behave yourself with more spirit. I have only mentioned to you my surmise. It may not have happened as I suspect; but, let what will have happened, you will have the comfort that your husband hath behaved himself with becoming dignity, and lies in the bed of honour.”

“What did you say?” the colonel replied. “You’ve said something that, if a man had spoken it, I swear, if he had even hinted that he dared to think it, I would have made him eat my sword; by all that is dignified, I would have crushed his spirit. But since those words came from a woman, I am calm now. Remember, my dear, that you are my sister, and act with a little more spirit. I’ve only shared my guess with you. What I suspect may not have happened; but whatever has occurred, you’ll find comfort in knowing that your husband has behaved with proper dignity and lies in the bed of honor.”

“Talk not to me of such comfort,” replied the lady; “it is a loss I cannot survive. But why do I sit here lamenting myself? I will go this instant and know the worst of my fate, if my trembling limbs will carry me to my coach. Good morrow, dear brother; whatever becomes of me, I am glad to find you out of danger.” The colonel paid her his proper compliments, and she then left the room, but returned instantly back, saying, “Brother, I must beg the favour of you to let your footman step to my mantua-maker; I am sure it is a miracle, in my present distracted condition, how it came into my head.” The footman was presently summoned, and Mrs. James delivered him his message, which was to countermand the orders which she had given that very morning to make her up a new suit of brocade. “Heaven knows,” says she, “now when I can wear brocade, or whether ever I shall wear it.” And now, having repeated her message with great exactness, lest there should be any mistake, she again lamented her wretched situation, and then departed, leaving the colonel in full expectation of hearing speedy news of the fatal issue of the battle.

“Don't talk to me about comfort,” replied the lady. “It's a loss I can't handle. But why am I sitting here feeling sorry for myself? I’ll go right now and find out the worst about my fate, if my shaking legs can get me to my coach. Good morning, dear brother; no matter what happens to me, I'm glad to see you’re safe.” The colonel offered her his respectful compliments, and she left the room but quickly returned, saying, “Brother, I need to ask you a favor: could you have your footman stop by my dressmaker? I can’t believe I even thought of that in my current state.” The footman was called over, and Mrs. James gave him her message, which was to cancel the request she made that morning for a new brocade outfit. “God knows,” she said, “when I can wear brocade again, or if I ever will.” After repeating her message very carefully to avoid any mistakes, she lamented her awful situation once more and then left, leaving the colonel anticipating news of the battle's grim outcome.

But, though the reader should entertain the same curiosity, we must be excused from satisfying it till we have first accounted for an incident which we have related in this very chapter, and which, we think, deserves some solution. The critic, I am convinced, already is apprized that I mean the friendly behaviour of James to Booth, which, from what we had before recorded, seemed so little to be expected.

But, even if the reader feels the same curiosity, we must postpone satisfying it until we explain an incident that we've described in this very chapter, which we believe deserves some clarification. I'm sure the critic already realizes I'm referring to James's friendly behavior towards Booth, which, based on what we've previously noted, seemed quite unexpected.

It must be remembered that the anger which the former of these gentlemen had conceived against the latter arose entirely from the false account given by Miss Matthews of Booth, whom that lady had accused to Colonel James of having as basely as wickedly traduced his character.

It should be noted that the anger the first gentleman felt towards the second was completely due to the misleading story told by Miss Matthews about Booth, whom she had accused to Colonel James of having maliciously and deceitfully slandered his character.

Now, of all the ministers of vengeance, there are none with whom the devil deals so treacherously as with those whom he employs in executing the mischievous purposes of an angry mistress; for no sooner is revenge executed on an offending lover that it is sure to be repented; and all the anger which before raged against the beloved object, returns with double fury on the head of his assassin.

Now, of all the ministers of vengeance, there are none with whom the devil deals so treacherously as with those he uses to carry out the harmful plans of an angry woman; for no sooner is revenge taken on an offending lover than it is guaranteed to be regretted; and all the anger that previously burned against the beloved returns with double the fury onto the head of their attacker.

Miss Matthews, therefore, no, sooner heard that Booth was killed (for so was the report at first, and by a colonel of the army) than she immediately concluded it to be James. She was extremely shocked with the news, and her heart instantly began to relent. All the reasons on which she had founded her love recurred, in the strongest and liveliest colours, to her mind, and all the causes of her hatred sunk down and disappeared; or, if the least remembrance of anything which had disobliged her remained, her heart became his zealous advocate, and soon satisfied her that her own fates were more to be blamed than he, and that, without being a villain, he could have acted no otherwise than he had done.

Miss Matthews, as soon as she heard that Booth was killed (which was the initial report from an army colonel), immediately assumed it was James. She was deeply shocked by the news, and her heart began to soften. All the reasons she had for loving him came rushing back to her mind in vivid detail, while all the reasons for her anger faded away; or if she had even the slightest memory of anything that had upset her, her heart became his passionate defender, quickly convincing her that her own circumstances were more to blame than he was and that, without being a bad person, he couldn’t have acted any differently than he did.

In this temper of mind she looked on herself as the murderer of an innocent man, and, what to her was much worse, of the man she had loved, and still did love, with all the violence imaginable. She looked on James as the tool with which she had done this murder; and, as it is usual for people who have rashly or inadvertently made any animate or inanimate thing the instrument of mischief to hate the innocent means by which the mischief was effected (for this is a subtle method which the mind invents to excuse ourselves, the last objects on whom we would willingly wreak our vengeance), so Miss Matthews now hated and cursed James as the efficient cause of that act which she herself had contrived and laboured to carry into execution.

In this state of mind, she saw herself as the killer of an innocent man, and what was even worse for her, the man she had loved and still loved with all her heart. She viewed James as the tool she had used to commit this murder; and as is common for those who have carelessly or unknowingly made something, whether alive or not, the means to cause harm, to despise the innocent thing that was used (for this is a clever trick our minds play to justify ourselves, allowing us to spare the true targets of our anger), Miss Matthews now hated and cursed James as the reason behind the act that she herself had plotted and worked to carry out.

She sat down therefore in a furious agitation, little short of madness, and wrote the following letter:

She sat down in a state of intense agitation, almost out of her mind, and wrote the following letter:

“I Hope this will find you in the hands of justice, for the murder of one of the best friends that ever man was blest with. In one sense, indeed, he may seem to have deserved his fate, by chusing a fool for a friend; for who but a fool would have believed what the anger and rage of an injured woman suggested; a story so improbable, that I could scarce be thought in earnest when I mentioned it?

“I hope this finds you facing justice for the murder of one of the best friends anyone could ever have. In a way, he might seem to have brought this on himself by choosing a fool for a friend; after all, who but a fool would believe the story suggested by the anger and rage of a hurt woman? It was so unlikely that I could hardly be taken seriously when I mentioned it.”

“Know, then, cruel wretch, that poor Booth loved you of all men breathing, and was, I believe, in your commendation guilty of as much falsehood as I was in what I told you concerning him.

“Know this, then, you cruel wretch, that poor Booth loved you more than any other man alive, and I believe he was as guilty of lying in your favor as I was in what I told you about him."

“If this knowledge makes you miserable, it is no more than you have made the unhappy F. MATTHEWS.”

“If this knowledge makes you unhappy, it’s no more than what you’ve done to the unfortunate F. MATTHEWS.”










Chapter ix. — Being the last chapter of the fifth book.

We shall now return to Colonel James and Mr. Booth, who walked together from Colonel Bath’s lodging with much more peaceable intention than that gentleman had conjectured, who dreamt of nothing but swords and guns and implements of wars.

We will now go back to Colonel James and Mr. Booth, who walked together from Colonel Bath’s place with a much more peaceful intention than that gentleman had imagined, as he thought of nothing but swords, guns, and tools of warfare.

The Birdcage-walk in the Park was the scene appointed by James for unburthening his mind.—Thither they came, and there James acquainted Booth with all that which the reader knows already, and gave him the letter which we have inserted at the end of the last chapter.

The Birdcage-walk in the Park was the place James chose to share his thoughts. They arrived there, and James filled Booth in on everything the reader already knows, handing him the letter we included at the end of the last chapter.

Booth exprest great astonishment at this relation, not without venting some detestation of the wickedness of Miss Matthews; upon which James took him up, saying, he ought not to speak with such abhorrence of faults which love for him had occasioned.

Booth expressed great surprise at this story, not without showing some dislike for Miss Matthews' wickedness; to this, James replied, saying he shouldn’t speak with such disgust about faults that love for him had caused.

“Can you mention love, my dear colonel,” cried Booth, “and such a woman in the same breath?”

“Can you talk about love, my dear colonel,” cried Booth, “and that kind of woman in the same sentence?”

“Yes, faith! can I,” says James; “for the devil take me if I know a more lovely woman in the world.” Here he began to describe her whole person; but, as we cannot insert all the description, so we shall omit it all; and concluded with saying, “Curse me if I don’t think her the finest creature in the universe. I would give half my estate, Booth, she loved me as well as she doth you. Though, on second consideration, I believe I should repent that bargain; for then, very possibly, I should not care a farthing for her.”

“Yes, it’s true! I can,” says James; “because the devil take me if I know a more beautiful woman in the world.” He started to describe her entire appearance; but, since we can’t include the whole description, we’ll skip that part and end with, “Damn me if I don’t think she’s the most amazing person in the universe. I’d give half my fortune if she loved me as much as she loves you. Although, thinking it over, I guess I’d regret that deal; because then, I probably wouldn’t care at all about her.”

“You will pardon me, dear colonel,” answered Booth; “but to me there appears somewhat very singular in your way of thinking. Beauty is indeed the object of liking, great qualities of admiration, good ones of esteem; but the devil take me if I think anything but love to be the object of love.”

“You'll excuse me, dear Colonel,” Booth replied, “but your way of thinking seems quite odd to me. Beauty is definitely what we like, great qualities are what we admire, and good ones are what we respect; but honestly, I can't see anything but love as the true object of love.”

“Is there not something too selfish,” replied James, “in that opinion? but, without considering it in that light, is it not of all things the most insipid? all oil! all sugar! zounds! it is enough to cloy the sharp-set appetite of a parson. Acids surely are the most likely to quicken.”

“Isn’t there something a bit selfish,” James replied, “about that opinion? But even putting that aside, isn’t it just the most bland thing ever? All oil! All sugar! Ugh! It’s enough to dull even a parson’s sharp appetite. Acids must be the best way to stimulate things.”

“I do not love reasoning in allegories,” cries Booth; “but with regard to love, I declare I never found anything cloying in it. I have lived almost alone with my wife near three years together, was never tired with her company, nor ever wished for any other; and I am sure I never tasted any of the acid you mention to quicken my appetite.”

“I don’t enjoy reasoning in allegories,” Booth exclaims; “but when it comes to love, I can honestly say I never found anything overwhelming about it. I’ve lived almost solely with my wife for nearly three years, never grew tired of her company, nor wished for anyone else; and I’m sure I’ve never experienced any of the bitterness you refer to that would sharpen my desire.”

“This is all very extraordinary and romantic to me,” answered the colonel. “If I was to be shut up three years with the same woman, which Heaven forbid! nothing, I think, could keep me alive but a temper as violent as that of Miss Matthews. As to love, it would make me sick to death in the twentieth part of that time. If I was so condemned, let me see, what would I wish the woman to be? I think no one virtue would be sufficient. With the spirit of a tigress I would have her be a prude, a scold, a scholar, a critic, a wit, a politician, and a Jacobite; and then, perhaps, eternal opposition would keep up our spirits; and, wishing one another daily at the devil, we should make a shift to drag on a damnable state of life, without much spleen or vapours.”

“This is all really extraordinary and romantic to me,” the colonel replied. “If I were to be locked up for three years with the same woman, which heaven forbid! I think nothing could keep me alive except a temper as fierce as Miss Matthews's. As for love, it would make me sick to death in just a fraction of that time. If I were in such a situation, let's see, what would I want the woman to be like? I think no single virtue would be enough. With the spirit of a tigress, I would want her to be a prude, a nag, a scholar, a critic, a wit, a politician, and a Jacobite; and then, maybe, constant opposition would keep our spirits up; and, while cursing each other to hell every day, we would somehow manage to get through a miserable life, without much bitterness or gloom.”

“And so you do not intend,” cries Booth, “to break with this woman?”

“And so you don’t plan,” Booth exclaims, “to end things with this woman?”

“Not more than I have already, if I can help it,” answered the colonel.

“Not more than I already have, if I can help it,” replied the colonel.

“And you will be reconciled to her?” said Booth.

“And you’ll make up with her?” said Booth.

“Yes, faith! will I, if I can,” answered the colonel; “I hope you have no objection.”

“Yes, faith! I will, if I can,” replied the colonel; “I hope you don’t mind.”

“None, my dear friend,” said Booth, “unless on your account.”

“None, my dear friend,” Booth said, “unless it’s because of you.”

“I do believe you,” said the colonel: “and yet, let me tell you, you are a very extraordinary man, not to desire me to quit her on your own account. Upon my soul, I begin to pity the woman, who hath placed her affection, perhaps, on the only man in England of your age who would not return it. But for my part, I promise you, I like her beyond all other women; and, whilst that is the case, my boy, if her mind was as full of iniquity as Pandora’s box was of diseases, I’d hug her close in my arms, and only take as much care as possible to keep the lid down for fear of mischief. But come, dear Booth,” said he, “let us consider your affairs; for I am ashamed of having neglected them so long; and the only anger I have against this wench is, that she was the occasion of it.”

“I believe you,” said the colonel, “but let me tell you, you’re a very unusual man for not wanting me to leave her for your sake. Honestly, I’m starting to feel sorry for the woman who has possibly fallen for the only guy in England around your age who wouldn’t feel the same. As for me, I can assure you, I care for her more than any other woman; and as long as that’s true, my friend, even if her mind was as filled with wickedness as Pandora’s box was with diseases, I’d hold her close in my arms and just be extra careful to keep the lid shut to avoid trouble. But come on, dear Booth,” he said, “let’s talk about your situation; I’m embarrassed to have neglected it for so long, and the only frustration I have with this girl is that she caused it.”

Booth then acquainted the colonel with the promises he had received from the noble lord, upon which James shook him by the hand, and heartily wished him joy, crying, “I do assure you, if you have his interest, you will need no other; I did not know you was acquainted with him.”

Booth then informed the colonel about the promises he had received from the noble lord, to which James shook his hand and sincerely congratulated him, saying, “I assure you, if you have his support, you won't need anything else; I didn't know you knew him.”

To which Mr. Booth answered, “That he was but a new acquaintance, and that he was recommended to him by a lady.”

To which Mr. Booth replied, “He was just a new acquaintance and that a lady had recommended him.”

“A lady!” cries the colonel; “well, I don’t ask her name. You are a happy man, Booth, amongst the women; and, I assure you, you could have no stronger recommendation. The peer loves the ladies, I believe, as well as ever Mark Antony did; and it is not his fault if he hath not spent as much upon them. If he once fixes his eye upon a woman, he will stick at nothing to get her.”

“A lady!” the colonel exclaims; “well, I won’t ask her name. You’re a lucky guy, Booth, with the ladies; and I can assure you, you have no stronger endorsement. The peer loves women, I believe, just as much as Mark Antony ever did; and it’s not his fault if he hasn’t spent as much on them. Once he sets his sights on a woman, he won't stop at anything to win her over.”

“Ay, indeed!” cries Booth. “Is that his character?”

“Ay, for sure!” Booth exclaims. “Is that his personality?”

“Ay, faith,” answered the colonel, “and the character of most men besides him. Few of them, I mean, will stick at anything beside their money. Jusque a la Bourse is sometimes the boundary of love as well as friendship. And, indeed, I never knew any other man part with his money so very freely on these occasions. You see, dear Booth, the confidence I have in your honour.”

“Ay, indeed,” replied the colonel, “and the character of most men besides him. Few of them, I mean, will hesitate to do anything for the sake of their money. Up to the stock exchange is sometimes the limit of love as well as friendship. And, honestly, I’ve never met anyone else who is willing to part with his money so freely in these situations. You see, dear Booth, the trust I have in your honor.”

“I hope, indeed, you have,” cries Booth, “but I don’t see what instance you now give me of that confidence.”

“I really hope you have,” Booth exclaims, “but I don’t see what example you’re giving me of that trust.”

“Have not I shewn you,” answered James, “where you may carry your goods to market? I can assure you, my friend, that is a secret I would not impart to every man in your situation, and all circumstances considered.”

“Didn’t I show you,” James replied, “where you can take your goods to sell? I can assure you, my friend, that’s a secret I wouldn’t share with just anyone in your position, given all the circumstances.”

“I am very sorry, sir,” cries Booth very gravely, and turning as pale as death, “you should entertain a thought of this kind; a thought which hath almost frozen up my blood. I am unwilling to believe there are such villains in the world; but there is none of them whom I should detest half so much as myself, if my own mind had ever suggested to me a hint of that kind. I have tasted of some distresses of life, and I know not to what greater I may be driven, but my honour, I thank Heaven, is in my own power, and I can boldly say to Fortune she shall not rob me of it.”

“I’m really sorry, sir,” Booth says very seriously, turning as pale as death, “that you would consider something like this; a thought that nearly freezes my blood. I don’t want to believe there are such villains in the world, but there’s no one I would despise more than myself if my own mind ever suggested such a thing. I've experienced some hardships in life, and I don't know what worse things I might face, but thankfully my honor is in my own hands, and I can confidently tell Fate that she won’t take it from me.”

“Have I not exprest that confidence, my dear Booth?” answered the colonel. “And what you say now well justifies my opinion; for I do agree with you that, considering all things, it would be the highest instance of dishonour.”

“Have I not expressed that confidence, my dear Booth?” replied the colonel. “What you’re saying now really supports my view; I agree with you that, all things considered, it would be the greatest example of dishonor.”

“Dishonour, indeed!” returned Booth. “What! to prostitute my wife! Can I think there is such a wretch breathing?”

“Dishonor, really!” replied Booth. “What! To sell out my wife! Can I really believe there's such a monster alive?”

“I don’t know that,” said the colonel, “but I am sure it was very far from my intention to insinuate the least hint of any such matter to you. Nor can I imagine how you yourself could conceive such a thought. The goods I meant were no other than the charming person of Miss Matthews, for whom I am convinced my lord would bid a swinging price against me.”

“I don’t know about that,” said the colonel, “but I definitely didn’t mean to suggest anything like that to you. I can’t even understand how you could think such a thing. The 'goods' I was referring to were nothing other than the lovely Miss Matthews, for whom I’m sure my lord would pay a pretty penny to compete with me.”

Booth’s countenance greatly cleared up at this declaration, and he answered with a smile, that he hoped he need not give the colonel any assurances on that head. However, though he was satisfied with regard to the colonel’s suspicions, yet some chimeras now arose in his brain which gave him no very agreeable sensations. What these were, the sagacious reader may probably suspect; but, if he should not, we may perhaps have occasion to open them in the sequel. Here we will put an end to this dialogue, and to the fifth book of this history.

Booth's face lit up at this statement, and he replied with a smile that he hoped he wouldn't need to reassure the colonel about that. However, while he felt confident regarding the colonel's suspicions, some unsettling thoughts began to surface in his mind that made him uncomfortable. What these thoughts were, the insightful reader might guess; but if not, we may have a chance to explore them later. For now, we'll wrap up this conversation and conclude the fifth book of this story.










BOOK VI.










Chapter i. — Panegyrics on beauty, with other grave matters.

The colonel and Booth walked together to the latter’s lodging, for as it was not that day in the week in which all parts of the town are indifferent, Booth could not wait on the colonel.

The colonel and Booth walked together to Booth's place, because it wasn't that day of the week when everyone in town is indifferent; Booth couldn't wait on the colonel.

When they arrived in Spring-garden, Booth, to his great surprize, found no one at home but the maid. In truth, Amelia had accompanied Mrs. Ellison and her children to his lordship’s; for, as her little girl showed a great unwillingness to go without her, the fond mother was easily persuaded to make one of the company.

When they got to Spring-garden, Booth was really surprised to find that only the maid was home. Actually, Amelia had gone with Mrs. Ellison and her kids to his lordship’s place; since her little girl was really reluctant to go without her, the loving mother was easily convinced to join them.

Booth had scarce ushered the colonel up to his apartment when a servant from Mrs. James knocked hastily at the door. The lady, not meeting with her husband at her return home, began to despair of him, and performed everything which was decent on the occasion. An apothecary was presently called with hartshorn and sal volatile, a doctor was sent for, and messengers were despatched every way; amongst the rest, one was sent to enquire at the lodgings of his supposed antagonist.

Booth had barely shown the colonel into his apartment when a servant from Mrs. James knocked quickly at the door. The lady, not finding her husband when she got home, started to worry about him and did everything that seemed appropriate for the situation. An apothecary was soon called for hartshorn and sal volatile, a doctor was summoned, and messengers were sent out in every direction; among them, one was sent to check at the lodgings of his supposed rival.

The servant hearing that his master was alive and well above-stairs, ran up eagerly to acquaint him with the dreadful situation in which he left his miserable lady at home, and likewise with the occasion of all her distress, saying, that his lady had been at her brother’s, and had there heard that his honour was killed in a duel by Captain Booth.

The servant, hearing that his master was alive and doing well upstairs, rushed up eagerly to tell him about the terrible situation he had left his unfortunate lady in at home, as well as the cause of all her distress, explaining that his lady had been at her brother's and had heard there that his honor had been killed in a duel by Captain Booth.

The colonel smiled at this account, and bid the servant make haste back to contradict it. And then turning to Booth, he said, “Was there ever such another fellow as this brother of mine? I thought indeed, his behaviour was somewhat odd at the time. I suppose he overheard me whisper that I would give you satisfaction, and thence concluded we went together with a design of tilting. D—n the fellow, I begin to grow heartily sick of him, and wish I could get well rid of him without cutting his throat, which I sometimes apprehend he will insist on my doing, as a return for my getting him made a lieutenant-colonel.”

The colonel smiled at this story and told the servant to hurry back to correct it. Then he turned to Booth and said, “Is there anyone quite like my brother? I thought his behavior was a bit strange at the time. I guess he overheard me say I would give you satisfaction and figured we were planning to duel. Damn the guy, I’m really starting to get tired of him, and I wish I could get rid of him without killing him, which I sometimes worry he’ll insist I do in return for getting him promoted to lieutenant colonel.”

Whilst these two gentlemen were commenting on the character of the third, Amelia and her company returned, and all presently came up-stairs, not only the children, but the two ladies, laden with trinkets as if they had been come from a fair. Amelia, who had been highly delighted all the morning with the excessive pleasure which her children enjoyed, when she saw Colonel James with her husband, and perceived the most manifest marks of that reconciliation which she knew had been so long and so earnestly wished by Booth, became so transported with joy, that her happiness was scarce capable of addition. Exercise had painted her face with vermilion; and the highest good-humour had so sweetened every feature, and a vast flow of spirits had so lightened up her bright eyes, that she was all a blaze of beauty. She seemed, indeed, as Milton sublimely describes Eve,

While these two gentlemen were discussing the character of the third, Amelia and her group came back, and everyone soon went upstairs, not just the children, but the two ladies, loaded with trinkets as if they had just come from a fair. Amelia, who had been extremely happy all morning watching her children have so much fun, felt overwhelmed with joy when she saw Colonel James with her husband and noticed the clear signs of the reconciliation she knew Booth had wished for so long. She was so filled with happiness that it was barely possible for her to feel any more. Her face was flushed from exercise, and her cheerful demeanor brightened every feature, with her bright eyes sparkling with a vast flow of spirits, making her an absolute vision of beauty. She seemed, in fact, as Milton beautifully describes Eve,

                                         —Adorn’d
     With what all Earth or Heaven could bestow
     To make her amiable.
                                         —Dressed  
     With everything Earth or Heaven could offer  
     To make her charming.

Again:—

Again:—

     Grace was in all her steps, Heaven in her eye,
     In every gesture, dignity and love.
     Grace was in everything she did, Heaven in her eyes,  
     In every gesture, there was dignity and love.

Or, as Waller sweetly, though less sublimely sings:—

Or, as Waller sweetly, though not as profoundly sings:—

     Sweetness, truth, and every grace
     Which time and use are wont to teach,
     The eye may in a moment reach,
     And read distinctly in her face.
     Sweetness, truth, and every grace
     That time and experience usually teach,
     The eye can grasp in an instant,
     And read clearly in her expression.

Or, to mention one poet more, and him of all the sweetest, she seemed to be the very person of whom Suckling wrote the following lines, where, speaking of Cupid, he says,

Or, to mention one more poet, and him of all the sweetest, she seemed to be the exact person of whom Suckling wrote the following lines, where, speaking of Cupid, he says,

     All his lovely looks, his pleasing fires,
       All his sweet motions, all his taking smiles;
     All that awakes, all that inflames desires,
       All that sweetly commands, all that beguiles,
     He does into one pair of eyes convey,
       And there begs leave that he himself may stay.
     All his beautiful looks, his charming glances,
       All his delightful movements, all his captivating smiles;
     All that stirs, all that ignites desires,
       All that sweetly commands, all that enchants,
     He conveys into just one pair of eyes,
       And there asks for permission to remain.

Such was Amelia at this time when she entered the room; and, having paid her respects to the colonel, she went up to her husband, and cried, “O, my dear! never were any creatures so happy as your little things have been this whole morning; and all owing to my lord’s goodness; sure never was anything so good-natured and so generous!” She then made the children produce their presents, the value of which amounted to a pretty large sum; for there was a gold watch, amongst the trinkets, that cost above twenty guineas.

Amelia was in this state when she walked into the room. After greeting the colonel, she approached her husband and exclaimed, “Oh, my dear! No one has been as happy as our little ones have been this whole morning, and it’s all thanks to my lord’s kindness! There’s never been anyone so nice and so generous!” She then had the children show off their gifts, which added up to quite a large amount; among the items was a gold watch that cost more than twenty guineas.

Instead of discovering so much satisfaction on this occasion as Amelia expected, Booth very gravely answered, “And pray, my dear, how are we to repay all these obligations to his lordship?” “How can you ask so strange a question?” cries Mrs. Ellison: “how little do you know of the soul of generosity (for sure my cousin deserves that name) when you call a few little trinkets given to children an obligation!” “Indeed, my dear,” cries Amelia, “I would have stopped his hand if it had been possible; nay, I was forced at last absolutely to refuse, or I believe he would have laid a hundred pound out on the children; for I never saw any one so fond of children, which convinces me he is one of the best of men; but I ask your pardon, colonel,” said she, turning to him; “I should not entertain you with these subjects; yet I know you have goodness enough to excuse the folly of a mother.”

Instead of feeling the satisfaction Amelia expected, Booth replied very seriously, “And how, my dear, are we supposed to repay all these debts to his lordship?” “How can you even ask such a strange question?” Mrs. Ellison exclaimed. “You know so little about true generosity (which my cousin definitely embodies) when you refer to a few small gifts given to children as a debt!” “Honestly, my dear,” Amelia said, “I would have stopped him if I could; in fact, I eventually had to outright refuse, or I believe he would have spent a hundred pounds on the children, because I’ve never seen anyone so fond of kids. That shows me he’s one of the best men around; but I apologize, Colonel,” she said, turning to him, “I shouldn’t bore you with this talk, but I know you’re kind enough to overlook a mother’s sentimental ramblings.”

The colonel made a very low assenting bow, and soon after they all sat down to a small repast; for the colonel had promised Booth to dine with him when they first came home together, and what he had since heard from his own house gave him still less inclination than ever to repair thither.

The colonel gave a slight nod of agreement, and shortly after, they all sat down for a light meal; the colonel had promised Booth he would have dinner with him when they first returned home together, and what he had since learned from his own place made him even less eager to go there.

But, besides both these, there was a third and stronger inducement to him to pass the day with his friend, and this was the desire of passing it with his friend’s wife. When the colonel had first seen Amelia in France, she was but just recovered from a consumptive habit, and looked pale and thin; besides, his engagements with Miss Bath at that time took total possession of him, and guarded his heart from the impressions of another woman; and, when he had dined with her in town, the vexations through which she had lately passed had somewhat deadened her beauty; besides, he was then engaged, as we have seen, in a very warm pursuit of a new mistress, but now he had no such impediment; for, though the reader hath just before seen his warm declarations of a passion for Miss Matthews, yet it may be remembered that he had been in possession of her for above a fortnight; and one of the happy properties of this kind of passion is, that it can with equal violence love half a dozen or half a score different objects at one and the same time.

But besides these two reasons, there was a third and stronger motivation for him to spend the day with his friend, and that was the desire to spend it with his friend’s wife. When the colonel had first seen Amelia in France, she had just recovered from a serious illness, looking pale and thin; moreover, his commitments to Miss Bath at that time completely occupied him and kept his heart from being affected by another woman. When he had dined with her in the city, the troubles she had recently faced had somewhat diminished her beauty; additionally, he was then involved, as we have noted, in a very intense pursuit of a new love interest. However, now he faced no such hindrance; for although the reader has just seen his passionate declarations for Miss Matthews, it should be remembered that he had been with her for over a fortnight, and one of the interesting traits of this kind of passion is that it can intensely love several different people at the same time.

But indeed such were the charms now displayed by Amelia, of which we endeavoured above to draw some faint resemblance, that perhaps no other beauty could have secured him from their influence; and here, to confess a truth in his favour, however the grave or rather the hypocritical part of mankind may censure it, I am firmly persuaded that to withdraw admiration from exquisite beauty, or to feel no delight in gazing at it, is as impossible as to feel no warmth from the most scorching rays of the sun. To run away is all that is in our power; and in the former case, if it must be allowed we have the power of running away, it must be allowed also that it requires the strongest resolution to execute it; for when, as Dryden says,

But really, the charms Amelia displayed were so captivating, as we tried to convey before, that it's likely no other beauty could have shielded him from their impact. And here, to be honest on his behalf, no matter how the serious or even the hypocritical people might judge it, I truly believe that to deny admiration for exquisite beauty, or to feel no joy in looking at it, is as impossible as not feeling warmth from the blazing sun. All we can do is run away; and in that case, if we must admit we have the ability to flee, we must also recognize that it takes immense willpower to do so. For when, as Dryden says,

              All paradise is open’d in a face,
All paradise is opened in a face,

how natural is the desire of going thither! and how difficult to quit the lovely prospect!

how natural is the desire to go there! and how hard it is to leave the beautiful view!

And yet, however difficult this may be, my young readers, it is absolutely necessary, and that immediately too: flatter not yourselves that fire will not scorch as well as warm, and the longer we stay within its reach the more we shall burn. The admiration of a beautiful woman, though the wife of our dearest friend, may at first perhaps be innocent, but let us not flatter ourselves it will always remain so; desire is sure to succeed; and wishes, hopes, designs, with a long train of mischiefs, tread close at our heels. In affairs of this kind we may most properly apply the well-known remark of nemo repente fuit turpissimus. It fares, indeed, with us on this occasion as with the unwary traveller in some parts of Arabia the desert, whom the treacherous sands imperceptibly betray till he is overwhelmed and lost. In both cases the only safety is by withdrawing our feet the very first moment we perceive them sliding.

And yet, no matter how tough this may be, my young readers, it’s absolutely essential, and it needs to happen right away: don’t kid yourselves that fire won’t hurt just as much as it warms you, and the longer we stay within its reach, the more we’ll get burned. The admiration for a beautiful woman, even if she’s the wife of our closest friend, might seem innocent at first, but let’s not deceive ourselves into thinking it will always stay that way; desire is bound to follow; and wishes, hopes, and plans, along with a long list of troubles, will be right behind us. In situations like this, the well-known saying of nemo repente fuit turpissimus. describes us perfectly. Our situation is similar to that of an unwary traveler in some parts of the Arabian desert, who is subtly betrayed by the treacherous sands until he’s overwhelmed and lost. In both cases, the only way to stay safe is to step back as soon as we notice we’re starting to slip.

This digression may appear impertinent to some readers; we could not, however, avoid the opportunity of offering the above hints; since of all passions there is none against which we should so strongly fortify ourselves as this, which is generally called love; for no other lays before us, especially in the tumultuous days of youth, such sweet, such strong and almost irresistible temptations; none hath produced in private life such fatal and lamentable tragedies; and what is worst of all, there is none to whose poison and infatuation the best of minds are so liable. Ambition scarce ever produces any evil but when it reigns in cruel and savage bosoms; and avarice seldom flourishes at all but in the basest and poorest soil. Love, on the contrary, sprouts usually up in the richest and noblest minds; but there, unless nicely watched, pruned, and cultivated, and carefully kept clear of those vicious weeds which are too apt to surround it, it branches forth into wildness and disorder, produces nothing desirable, but choaks up and kills whatever is good and noble in the mind where it so abounds. In short, to drop the allegory, not only tenderness and good nature, but bravery, generosity, and every virtue are often made the instruments of effecting the most atrocious purposes of this all-subduing tyrant.

This digression might seem irrelevant to some readers; however, we couldn't pass up the opportunity to share these insights. Of all the emotions, none requires us to guard ourselves more than what we generally call love. No other emotion presents us, especially in the chaotic days of youth, with such sweet, powerful, and almost irresistible temptations. None has caused such tragic and lamentable events in private life. Worse still, none's poison and obsession affect even the best of minds so easily. Ambition usually only leads to harm when it exists in cruel and savage hearts; avarice rarely thrives but in the basest and poorest conditions. Love, on the other hand, often flourishes in the richest and noblest minds. Yet, if it's not carefully monitored, pruned, cultivated, and kept free from the toxic weeds that tend to surround it, it can lead to chaos and disorder, creating nothing desirable and choking out whatever is good and noble in the mind where it thrives. In short, to abandon the metaphor, not just kindness and good nature, but also bravery, generosity, and every virtue can be manipulated to achieve the most atrocious aims of this all-powerful tyrant.










Chapter ii. — Which will not appear, we presume, unnatural to all married readers.

If the table of poor Booth afforded but an indifferent repast to the colonel’s hunger, here was most excellent entertainment of a much higher kind. The colonel began now to wonder within himself at his not having before discovered such incomparable beauty and excellence. This wonder was indeed so natural that, lest it should arise likewise in the reader, we thought proper to give the solution of it in the preceding chapter.

If the table of the poor Booth offered just a mediocre meal to the colonel's hunger, here was a far better kind of entertainment. The colonel started to wonder why he hadn’t noticed such incredible beauty and excellence before. This curiosity was so understandable that, to prevent it from popping up in the reader's mind as well, we decided to provide an explanation in the previous chapter.

During the first two hours the colonel scarce ever had his eyes off from Amelia; for he was taken by surprize, and his heart was gone before he suspected himself to be in any danger. His mind, however, no sooner suggested a certain secret to him than it suggested some degree of prudence to him at the same time; and the knowledge that he had thoughts to conceal, and the care of concealing them, had birth at one and the same instant. During the residue of the day, therefore, he grew more circumspect, and contented himself with now and then stealing a look by chance, especially as the more than ordinary gravity of Booth made him fear that his former behaviour had betrayed to Booth’s observation the great and sudden liking he had conceived for his wife, even before he had observed it in himself.

During the first two hours, the colonel hardly took his eyes off Amelia; he was caught off guard, and he had already fallen for her before he even realized he was in any trouble. However, as soon as his mind hinted at a certain secret, it also urged him to be a bit more careful. The realization that he had thoughts to hide and the need to hide them hit him at the same moment. For the rest of the day, he became more cautious and settled for sneaking glances every now and then, especially since Booth's unusually serious demeanor made him worry that his earlier behavior had revealed the strong and sudden affection he felt for Booth’s wife, even before he recognized it himself.

Amelia continued the whole day in the highest spirits and highest good humour imaginable, never once remarking that appearance of discontent in her husband of which the colonel had taken notice; so much more quick-sighted, as we have somewhere else hinted, is guilt than innocence. Whether Booth had in reality made any such observations on the colonel’s behaviour as he had suspected, we will not undertake to determine; yet so far may be material to say, as we can with sufficient certainty, that the change in Booth’s behaviour that day, from what was usual with him, was remarkable enough. None of his former vivacity appeared in his conversation; and his countenance was altered from being the picture of sweetness and good humour, not indeed to sourness or moroseness, but to gravity and melancholy.

Amelia spent the entire day in the best mood and good humor possible, never once acknowledging her husband's look of discontent that the colonel had noticed; guilt, as we've mentioned before, is much more perceptive than innocence. Whether Booth really observed anything unusual about the colonel's behavior as he suspected is hard to say; however, it’s worth mentioning that Booth’s behavior that day was noticeably different from his usual self. He showed none of his typical liveliness in his conversation, and his expression shifted from one of sweetness and good humor to seriousness and sadness.

Though the colonel’s suspicion had the effect which we have mentioned on his behaviour, yet it could not persuade him to depart. In short, he sat in his chair as if confined to it by enchantment, stealing looks now and then, and humouring his growing passion, without having command enough over his limbs to carry him out of the room, till decency at last forced him to put an end to his preposterous visit. When the husband and wife were left alone together, the latter resumed the subject of her children, and gave Booth a particular narrative of all that had passed at his lordship’s, which he, though something had certainly disconcerted him, affected to receive with all the pleasure he could; and this affectation, however aukwardly he acted his part, passed very well on Amelia; for she could not well conceive a displeasure of which she had not the least hint of any cause, and indeed at a time when, from his reconciliation with James, she imagined her husband to be entirely and perfectly happy.

Though the colonel’s suspicion affected his behavior, it couldn’t convince him to leave. In short, he sat in his chair as if he were magically stuck, stealing glances now and then and feeding his growing passion, unable to move himself out of the room until decency finally compelled him to end his ridiculous visit. Once the husband and wife were alone, she brought up their children and shared a detailed account of everything that had happened at his lordship’s place. Booth, although clearly a bit unsettled, pretended to receive the news with all the pleasure he could muster. This act, no matter how awkwardly he performed it, was convincing enough for Amelia; she couldn’t imagine any displeasure without knowing its cause, especially at a time when, thanks to his reconciliation with James, she believed her husband to be completely and utterly happy.

The greatest part of that night Booth past awake; and, if during the residue he might be said to sleep, he could scarce be said to enjoy repose; his eyes were no sooner closed, that he was pursued and haunted by the most frightful and terrifying dreams, which threw him into so restless a condition, that he soon disturbed his Amelia, and greatly alarmed her with apprehensions that he had been seized by some dreadful disease, though he had not the least symptoms of a fever by any extraordinary heat, or any other indication, but was rather colder than usual.

Most of that night, Booth stayed awake; and even when he seemed to sleep later on, it was hardly restful. As soon as his eyes closed, he was consumed by the most frightening and scary dreams, putting him in such a restless state that he soon disturbed Amelia, making her worried that he had fallen victim to some terrible illness. Even though he showed no signs of fever, like excessive heat or any other symptoms, he felt actually colder than usual.

As Booth assured his wife that he was very well, but found no inclination to sleep, she likewise bid adieu to her slumbers, and attempted to entertain him with her conversation. Upon which his lordship occurred as the first topic; and she repeated to him all the stories which she had heard from Mrs. Ellison, of the peer’s goodness to his sister and his nephew and niece. “It is impossible, my dear,” says she, “to describe their fondness for their uncle, which is to me an incontestible sign of a parent’s goodness.” In this manner she ran on for several minutes, concluding at last, that it was pity so very few had such generous minds joined to immense fortunes.

As Booth reassured his wife that he was doing fine but had no desire to sleep, she also gave up on her rest and tried to keep him entertained with her conversation. The first topic she brought up was his lordship, and she shared with him all the stories she had heard from Mrs. Ellison about the peer’s kindness to his sister and his nephew and niece. “It’s impossible, my dear,” she said, “to describe how much they adore their uncle, which to me is a clear sign of a parent’s goodness.” She continued talking for several minutes, finally concluding that it was a shame that so few people had such generous hearts to go along with their immense fortunes.

Booth, instead of making a direct answer to what Amelia had said, cried coldly, “But do you think, my dear, it was right to accept all those expensive toys which the children brought home? And I ask you again, what return we are to make for these obligations?”

Booth, instead of directly answering what Amelia had said, replied coldly, “But do you really think, my dear, it was right to accept all those expensive toys the kids brought home? And I’ll ask you again, what are we supposed to give in return for these obligations?”

“Indeed, my dear,” cries Amelia, “you see this matter in too serious a light. Though I am the last person in the world who would lessen his lordship’s goodness (indeed I shall always think we are both infinitely obliged to him), yet sure you must allow the expense to be a mere trifle to such a vast fortune. As for return, his own benevolence, in the satisfaction it receives, more than repays itself, and I am convinced he expects no other.”

“Honestly, my dear,” Amelia exclaims, “you’re taking this too seriously. While I’m the last person who would downplay his lordship’s generosity (I truly believe we owe him a great deal), you have to admit that the cost is just a tiny amount compared to such a massive fortune. As for getting something back, his own kindness, in the joy it brings him, is more than enough reward, and I’m sure he doesn’t expect anything more.”

“Very well, my dear,” cries Booth, “you shall have it your way; I must confess I never yet found any reason to blame your discernment; and perhaps I have been in the wrong to give myself so much uneasiness on this account.”

“Sure thing, my dear,” Booth exclaims, “you can have it your way; I have to admit I've never found a reason to question your judgment; maybe I've been wrong to stress over this so much.”

“Uneasiness, child!” said Amelia eagerly; “Good Heavens! hath this made you uneasy?”

“What's wrong, sweetheart?” Amelia said eagerly. “Good heavens! Has this made you feel uneasy?”

“I do own it hath,” answered Booth, “and it hath been the only cause of breaking my repose.”

“I do own it has,” answered Booth, “and it has been the only reason for disturbing my peace.”

“Why then I wish,” cries Amelia, “all the things had been at the devil before ever the children had seen them; and, whatever I may think myself, I promise you they shall never more accept the value of a farthing:—if upon this occasion I have been the cause of your uneasiness, you will do me the justice to believe that I was totally innocent.”

“Then I wish,” Amelia exclaims, “that everything had gone wrong before the kids even saw it; and no matter what I think, I promise you they will never take anything worth a penny again:—if I've caused you any trouble this time, you’ll do me the favor of believing that I was completely innocent.”

At those words Booth caught her in his arms, and with the tenderest embrace, emphatically repeating the word innocent, cried, “Heaven forbid I should think otherwise! Oh, thou art the best of creatures that ever blessed a man!”

At those words, Booth lifted her into his arms, and with the gentlest embrace, repeatedly saying the word innocent, exclaimed, “God forbid I should think any differently! Oh, you are the best person who has ever blessed a man!”

“Well, but,” said she, smiling, “do confess, my dear, the truth; I promise you I won’t blame you nor disesteem you for it; but is not pride really at the bottom of this fear of an obligation?”

“Well, but,” she said with a smile, “you have to admit the truth, my dear; I promise I won’t blame you or think less of you for it. But isn’t pride really the root of this fear of obligation?”

“Perhaps it may,” answered he; “or, if you will, you may call it fear. I own I am afraid of obligations, as the worst kind of debts; for I have generally observed those who confer them expect to be repaid ten thousand-fold.”

“Maybe it will,” he replied. “Or, if you prefer, you can call it fear. Honestly, I’m afraid of commitments, as they feel like the worst kind of debts. I’ve generally noticed that those who give them expect to be repaid a thousand times over.”

Here ended all that is material of their discourse; and a little time afterwards, they both fell fast asleep in one another’s arms; from which time Booth had no more restlessness, nor any further perturbation in his dreams.

Here ended all that was important in their conversation; and a little while later, they both fell deeply asleep in each other’s arms; after which Booth had no more restlessness, nor any more disturbances in his dreams.

Their repose, however, had been so much disturbed in the former part of the night, that, as it was very late before they enjoyed that sweet sleep I have just mentioned, they lay abed the next day till noon, when they both rose with the utmost chearfulness; and, while Amelia bestirred herself in the affairs of her family, Booth went to visit the wounded colonel.

Their rest, however, had been so interrupted earlier in the night that, since it was very late before they finally got that sweet sleep I just mentioned, they stayed in bed the next day until noon. When they both got up, they were in the best spirits; and, while Amelia took care of her family matters, Booth went to visit the injured colonel.

He found that gentleman still proceeding very fast in his recovery, with which he was more pleased than he had reason to be with his reception; for the colonel received him very coldly indeed, and, when Booth told him he had received perfect satisfaction from his brother, Bath erected his head and answered with a sneer, “Very well, sir, if you think these matters can be so made up, d—n me if it is any business of mine. My dignity hath not been injured.”

He saw that the gentleman was making great progress in his recovery, which made him happier than he had any reason to be about how he was received. The colonel had greeted him quite coldly, and when Booth mentioned that he had gotten full satisfaction from his brother, Bath lifted his head and replied with a sneer, "Very well, sir, if you think these issues can be settled like that, damn me if it's any concern of mine. My dignity hasn't been harmed."

“No one, I believe,” cries Booth, “dare injure it.”

“No one, I believe,” Booth exclaims, “would dare to harm it.”

“You believe so!” said the colonel: “I think, sir, you might be assured of it; but this, at least, you may be assured of, that if any man did, I would tumble him down the precipice of hell, d—n me, that you may be assured of.”

“You believe that, huh!” said the colonel. “I think, sir, you can be certain of it; but at the very least, you can be sure of this: if any man did, I would throw him down the edge of hell, damn me, that you can be sure of.”

As Booth found the colonel in this disposition, he had no great inclination to lengthen out his visit, nor did the colonel himself seem to desire it: so he soon returned back to his Amelia, whom he found performing the office of a cook, with as much pleasure as a fine lady generally enjoys in dressing herself out for a ball.

As Booth found the colonel in this mood, he didn't really want to stretch out his visit, and the colonel didn’t seem to want that either: so he quickly went back to his Amelia, who he found happily cooking, with as much joy as a fashionable lady usually feels when getting ready for a ball.










Chapter iii. — In which the history looks a little backwards.

Before we proceed farther in our history we shall recount a short scene to our reader which passed between Amelia and Mrs. Ellison whilst Booth was on his visit to Colonel Bath. We have already observed that Amelia had conceived an extraordinary affection for Mrs. Bennet, which had still encreased every time she saw her; she thought she discovered something wonderfully good and gentle in her countenance and disposition, and was very desirous of knowing her whole history.

Before we go any further in our story, we want to share a brief moment that took place between Amelia and Mrs. Ellison while Booth was visiting Colonel Bath. We’ve already noted that Amelia had developed a strong affection for Mrs. Bennet, which grew even more each time she saw her. She believed she sensed something truly kind and gentle in her face and personality, and she was eager to learn her entire story.

She had a very short interview with that lady this morning in Mrs. Ellison’s apartment. As soon, therefore, as Mrs. Bennet was gone, Amelia acquainted Mrs. Ellison with the good opinion she had conceived of her friend, and likewise with her curiosity to know her story: “For there must be something uncommonly good,” said she, “in one who can so truly mourn for a husband above three years after his death.”

She had a brief conversation with that woman this morning in Mrs. Ellison’s apartment. So, as soon as Mrs. Bennet left, Amelia told Mrs. Ellison about the positive impression she had of her friend, as well as her curiosity to learn her story: “There must be something really special,” she said, “about someone who can genuinely mourn for a husband more than three years after his death.”

“O!” cries Mrs. Ellison, “to be sure the world must allow her to have been one of the best of wives. And, indeed, upon the whole, she is a good sort of woman; and what I like her the best for is a strong resemblance that she bears to yourself in the form of her person, and still more in her voice. But for my own part, I know nothing remarkable in her fortune, unless what I have told you, that she was the daughter of a clergyman, had little or no fortune, and married a poor parson for love, who left her in the utmost distress. If you please, I will shew you a letter which she writ to me at that time, though I insist upon your promise never to mention it to her; indeed, you will be the first person I ever shewed it to.” She then opened her scrutore, and, taking out the letter, delivered it to Amelia, saying, “There, madam, is, I believe, as fine a picture of distress as can well be drawn.”

“O!” exclaims Mrs. Ellison, “the world must recognize that she was one of the best wives ever. And honestly, overall, she is a decent woman; what I appreciate most is how much she resembles you, both in her appearance and even more in her voice. But as for remarkable things about her life, I can’t think of much, except what I mentioned—that she was the daughter of a clergyman, had little or no money, and married a poor pastor out of love, who then left her in terrible distress. If you’d like, I can show you a letter she wrote to me during that time, but I insist you never mention it to her; in fact, you’d be the first person I've ever shown it to.” She then opened her writing desk and, taking out the letter, handed it to Amelia, saying, “There, madam, is, I believe, a striking depiction of distress that could be drawn.”

“DEAR MADAM,

“As I have no other friend on earth but yourself, I hope you will pardon my writing to you at this season; though I do not know that you can relieve my distresses, or, if you can, have I any pretence to expect that you should. My poor dear, O Heavens—my—-lies dead in the house; and, after I had procured sufficient to bury him, a set of ruffians have entered my house, seized all I have, have seized his dear, dear corpse, and threaten to deny it burial. For Heaven’s sake, send me, at least, some advice; little Tommy stands now by me crying for bread, which I have not to give him. I can say no more than that I am Your most distressed humble servant, M. BENNET.”

“As I have no other friend on earth besides you, I hope you’ll forgive me for reaching out to you at this time; even though I’m not sure if you can help with my troubles, or if you can, I have no right to expect that you would. My poor dear, oh heavens—my—-is dead in the house, and after I managed to gather enough to bury him, a group of thugs entered my home, took everything I have, took his beloved corpse, and are threatening to refuse burial. For heaven’s sake, please send me some advice; little Tommy is here beside me crying for food, which I can’t give him. I can say no more than that I am your most distressed humble servant, M. BENNET.”

Amelia read the letter over twice, and then returning it with tears in her eyes, asked how the poor creature could possibly get through such distress.

Amelia read the letter twice, and then, returning it with tears in her eyes, asked how the poor person could possibly get through such a difficult time.

“You may depend upon it, madam,” said Mrs. Ellison, “the moment I read this account I posted away immediately to the lady. As to the seizing the body, that I found was a mere bugbear; but all the rest was literally true. I sent immediately for the same gentleman that I recommended to Mr. Booth, left the care of burying the corpse to him, and brought my friend and her little boy immediately away to my own house, where she remained some months in the most miserable condition. I then prevailed with her to retire into the country, and procured her a lodging with a friend at St Edmundsbury, the air and gaiety of which place by degrees recovered her; and she returned in about a twelve-month to town, as well, I think, as she is at present.”

“You can count on it, ma'am,” said Mrs. Ellison, “the moment I read this account, I rushed right over to the lady. The part about seizing the body turned out to be just a scare tactic; but everything else was completely true. I immediately called the same gentleman I recommended to Mr. Booth, left the task of burying the corpse to him, and brought my friend and her little boy straight to my house, where she stayed for several months in the most miserable state. I then convinced her to move to the countryside, and I arranged for her to stay with a friend in St. Edmundsbury, where the fresh air and cheerful atmosphere gradually helped her recover. She returned to the city about a year later, as well as I think she is now.”

“I am almost afraid to ask,” cries Amelia, “and yet I long methinks to know what is become of the poor little boy.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask,” Amelia exclaims, “but I really want to know what happened to the poor little boy.”

“He hath been dead,” said Mrs. Ellison, “a little more than half a year; and the mother lamented him at first almost as much as she did her husband, but I found it indeed rather an easier matter to comfort her, though I sat up with her near a fortnight upon the latter occasion.”

“He's been dead,” said Mrs. Ellison, “for a little more than half a year; and the mother mourned him at first almost as much as she did her husband, but I actually found it a bit easier to comfort her, even though I stayed up with her for nearly two weeks during the latter situation.”

“You are a good creature,” said Amelia, “and I love you dearly.”

“You're a great person,” Amelia said, “and I love you so much.”

“Alas! madam,” cries she, “what could I have done if it had not been for the goodness of that best of men, my noble cousin! His lordship no sooner heard of the widow’s distress from me than he immediately settled one hundred and fifty pounds a year upon her during her life.”

“Unfortunately, ma'am,” she exclaims, “what could I have done if it weren't for the generosity of that wonderful man, my dear cousin! The moment his lordship learned about the widow’s troubles from me, he immediately arranged for her to receive one hundred and fifty pounds a year for the rest of her life.”

“Well! how noble, how generous was that!” said Amelia. “I declare I begin to love your cousin, Mrs. Ellison.”

“Well! How noble and generous was that!” said Amelia. “I have to admit, I’m starting to love your cousin, Mrs. Ellison.”

“And I declare if you do,” answered she, “there is no love lost, I verily believe; if you had heard what I heard him say yesterday behind your back—-”

“And I swear if you do,” she replied, “there's no love lost, I truly believe; if you had heard what I heard him say yesterday behind your back—”

“Why, what did he say, Mrs. Ellison?” cries Amelia.

“Why, what did he say, Mrs. Ellison?” Amelia asks.

“He said,” answered the other, “that you was the finest woman his eyes ever beheld.—Ah! it is in vain to wish, and yet I cannot help wishing too.—O, Mrs. Booth! if you had been a single woman, I firmly believe I could have made you the happiest in the world. And I sincerely think I never saw a woman who deserved it more.”

“He said,” replied the other, “that you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.—Ah! it’s useless to wish, but I can’t help wishing as well.—Oh, Mrs. Booth! if you had been single, I genuinely believe I could have made you the happiest woman in the world. And I honestly think I’ve never met anyone who deserved it more.”

“I am obliged to you, madam,” cries Amelia, “for your good opinion; but I really look on myself already as the happiest woman in the world. Our circumstances, it is true, might have been a little more fortunate; but O, my dear Mrs. Ellison! what fortune can be put in the balance with such a husband as mine?”

“I’m grateful to you, ma’am,” Amelia exclaims, “for thinking so highly of me; but I honestly see myself as the happiest woman in the world already. Our situation could have been a bit better, it’s true; but oh, my dear Mrs. Ellison! what fortune could ever compare to having a husband like mine?”

“I am afraid, dear madam,” answered Mrs. Ellison, “you would not hold the scale fairly.—I acknowledge, indeed, Mr. Booth is a very pretty gentleman; Heaven forbid I should endeavour to lessen him in your opinion; yet, if I was to be brought to confession, I could not help saying I see where the superiority lies, and that the men have more reason to envy Mr. Booth than the women have to envy his lady.”

“I’m afraid, dear madam,” answered Mrs. Ellison, “you wouldn’t judge fairly. I admit, Mr. Booth is a very handsome man; God forbid I would try to diminish his appeal in your eyes; yet, if I had to be honest, I would say I see where the advantage is, and that the men have more reason to envy Mr. Booth than the women have to envy his lady.”

“Nay, I will not bear this,” replied Amelia. “You will forfeit all my love if you have the least disrespectful opinion of my husband. You do not know him, Mrs. Ellison; he is the best, the kindest, the worthiest of all his sex. I have observed, indeed, once or twice before, that you have taken some dislike to him. I cannot conceive for what reason. If he hath said or done anything to disoblige you, I am sure I can justly acquit him of design. His extreme vivacity makes him sometimes a little too heedless; but, I am convinced, a more innocent heart, or one more void of offence, was never in a human bosom.”

“No, I won’t put up with this,” Amelia replied. “You’ll lose all my love if you have even the slightest disrespectful opinion of my husband. You don’t really know him, Mrs. Ellison; he is the best, kindest, and most deserving of all men. I’ve noticed, in fact, once or twice before, that you seem to dislike him. I can’t figure out why. If he has said or done anything to upset you, I’m sure it wasn’t intentional. His enthusiasm can sometimes make him a bit careless; but I am convinced that no one has a more innocent heart or is free of offense than he is.”

“Nay, if you grow serious,” cries Mrs. Ellison, “I have done. How is it possible you should suspect I had taken any dislike to a man to whom I have always shewn so perfect a regard; but to say I think him, or almost any other man in the world, worthy of yourself, is not within my power with truth. And since you force the confession from me, I declare, I think such beauty, such sense, and such goodness united, might aspire without vanity to the arms of any monarch in Europe.”

“Come on, if you’re going to be serious,” Mrs. Ellison exclaims, “I’m done. How could you think I have any dislike for a man I’ve always shown such perfect respect for? But to say I think he, or almost any other man in the world, deserves you is not something I can say truthfully. And since you’re pushing me to admit it, I declare that such beauty, such intelligence, and such kindness together could, without any arrogance, aim for the affections of any monarch in Europe.”

“Alas! my dear Mrs. Ellison,” answered Amelia, “do you think happiness and a crown so closely united? how many miserable women have lain in the arms of kings?—Indeed, Mrs. Ellison, if I had all the merit you compliment me with, I should think it all fully rewarded with such a man as, I thank Heaven, hath fallen to my lot; nor would I, upon my soul, exchange that lot with any queen in the universe.”

“Alas! my dear Mrs. Ellison,” replied Amelia, “do you really think happiness and a crown are so closely linked? How many unhappy women have ended up in the arms of kings?—Honestly, Mrs. Ellison, if I had even half the qualities you praise me for, I would consider myself more than rewarded with such a man as the one I’m thankful to have; I wouldn’t, for anything, trade my life for that of any queen in the world.”

“Well, there are enow of our sex,” said Mrs. Ellison, “to keep you in countenance; but I shall never forget the beginning of a song of Mr. Congreve’s, that my husband was so fond of that he was always singing it:—

“Well, there are plenty of us women,” said Mrs. Ellison, “to support you; but I will never forget the start of a song by Mr. Congreve, which my husband loved so much that he was always singing it:—

     Love’s but a frailty of the mind,
     When ‘tis not with ambition join’d.
     Love’s just a weakness of the mind,
     When it’s not combined with ambition.

Love without interest makes but an unsavoury dish, in my opinion.”

"Love without any interest is just an unpleasant experience, in my opinion."

“And pray how long hath this been your opinion?” said Amelia, smiling.

“And may I ask how long you’ve held this opinion?” said Amelia, smiling.

“Ever since I was born,” answered Mrs. Ellison; “at least, ever since I can remember.”

“Ever since I was born,” replied Mrs. Ellison; “at least, ever since I can remember.”

“And have you never,” said Amelia, “deviated from this generous way of thinking?”

“And have you never,” Amelia said, “strayed from this generous way of thinking?”

“Never once,” answered the other, “in the whole course of my life.”

“Not once,” replied the other, “in my entire life.”

“O, Mrs. Ellison! Mrs. Ellison!” cries Amelia; “why do we ever blame those who are disingenuous in confessing their faults, when we are so often ashamed to own ourselves in the right? Some women now, in my situation, would be angry that you had not made confidantes of them; but I never desire to know more of the secrets of others than they are pleased to intrust me with. You must believe, however, that I should not have given you these hints of my knowing all if I had disapproved your choice. On the contrary, I assure you I highly approve it. The gentility he wants, it will be easily in your power to procure for him; and as for his good qualities, I will myself be bound for them; and I make not the least doubt, as you have owned to me yourself that you have placed your affections on him, you will be one of the happiest women in the world.”

“O, Mrs. Ellison! Mrs. Ellison!” Amelia exclaims; “why do we ever criticize those who aren't honest in confessing their mistakes, when we often hesitate to admit we're in the right? Some women in my position would be upset that you didn't share your secrets with them; but I never want to know more about others' secrets than they feel comfortable sharing with me. You have to believe, though, that I wouldn’t have given you these hints about what I know if I didn’t support your choice. On the contrary, I assure you that I fully approve of it. The social status he lacks, it will be easy for you to secure for him; and as for his good qualities, I will personally vouch for them; and I have no doubt, since you have confessed to me that you have feelings for him, you will be one of the happiest women in the world.”

“Upon my honour,” cries Mrs. Ellison very gravely, “I do not understand one word of what you mean.”

“Honestly,” Mrs. Ellison says very seriously, “I don’t understand a single word of what you mean.”

“Upon my honour, you astonish me,” said Amelia; “but I have done.”

“Honestly, you surprise me,” said Amelia; “but I’m done.”

“Nay then,” said the other, “I insist upon knowing what you mean.”

“Nah then,” said the other, “I really want to know what you mean.”

“Why, what can I mean,” answered Amelia, “but your marriage with serjeant Atkinson?”

“Why, what else could I mean,” Amelia replied, “but your marriage to Sergeant Atkinson?”

“With serjeant Atkinson!” cries Mrs. Ellison eagerly, “my marriage with a serjeant!”

“With Sergeant Atkinson!” Mrs. Ellison exclaims eagerly, “my marriage to a sergeant!”

“Well, with Mr. Atkinson, then, Captain Atkinson, if you please; for so I hope to see him.”

“Well, with Mr. Atkinson, then, Captain Atkinson, if you don’t mind; because I hope to see him that way.”

“And have you really no better opinion of me,” said Mrs. Ellison, “than to imagine me capable of such condescension? What have I done, dear Mrs. Booth, to deserve so low a place in your esteem? I find indeed, as Solomon says, Women ought to watch the door of their lips. How little did I imagine that a little harmless freedom in discourse could persuade any one that I could entertain a serious intention of disgracing my family! for of a very good family am I come, I assure you, madam, though I now let lodgings. Few of my lodgers, I believe, ever came of a better.”

“And do you really think so little of me,” said Mrs. Ellison, “as to believe I could act so condescendingly? What have I done, dear Mrs. Booth, to deserve such a low opinion in your eyes? I realize, as Solomon says, Women ought to watch the door of their lips. How could I have thought that a little harmless openness in conversation would lead anyone to think I had any serious intention of bringing shame to my family! I assure you, madam, I come from a very respectable family, even though I now rent out rooms. I believe few of my tenants can claim a better heritage.”

“If I have offended you, madam,” said Amelia, “I am very sorry, and ask your pardon; but, besides what I heard from yourself, Mr. Booth told me—”

“If I’ve upset you, ma’am,” Amelia said, “I’m really sorry, and I ask for your forgiveness; but, apart from what I heard from you, Mr. Booth told me—”

“O yes!” answered Mrs. Ellison, “Mr. Booth, I know, is a very good friend of mine. Indeed, I know you better than to think it could be your own suspicion. I am very much obliged to Mr. Booth truly.”

“Oh yes!” replied Mrs. Ellison, “Mr. Booth, I know, is a very good friend of mine. In fact, I know you well enough not to believe that it could be your own suspicion. I’m really grateful to Mr. Booth.”

“Nay,” cries Amelia, “the serjeant himself is in fault; for Mr. Booth, I am positive, only repeated what he had from him.”

“Nah,” Amelia exclaims, “the sergeant himself is at fault; because Mr. Booth, I’m sure, only repeated what he got from him.”

“Impudent coxcomb!” cries Mrs. Ellison. “I shall know how to keep such fellows at a proper distance for the future—I will tell you, dear madam, all that happened. When I rose in the morning I found the fellow waiting in the entry; and, as you had exprest some regard for him as your foster-brother—nay, he is a very genteel fellow, that I must own—I scolded my maid for not shewing him into my little back-room; and I then asked him to walk into the parlour. Could I have imagined he would have construed such little civility into an encouragement?”

“Impertinent jerk!” Mrs. Ellison exclaims. “I’ll definitely know how to keep guys like him at a distance from now on. Let me tell you, dear madam, everything that happened. When I got up in the morning, I found him waiting in the hallway; and since you had shown some fondness for him as your foster-brother—well, he is quite a charming guy, I have to admit—I scolded my maid for not showing him into my little back room; and then I asked him to come into the parlor. Could I have ever imagined he would take such a small gesture of kindness as an invitation?”

“Nay, I will have justice done to my poor brother too,” said Amelia. “I myself have seen you give him much greater encouragement than that.”

“Nah, I want justice for my poor brother too,” said Amelia. “I’ve seen you give him way more encouragement than that.”

“Well, perhaps I have,” said Mrs. Ellison. “I have been always too unguarded in my speech, and can’t answer for all I have said.” She then began to change her note, and, with an affected laugh, turned all into ridicule; and soon afterwards the two ladies separated, both in apparent good humour; and Amelia went about those domestic offices in which Mr. Booth found her engaged at the end of the preceding chapter.

“Well, maybe I have,” said Mrs. Ellison. “I’ve always been too open with my words and can’t account for everything I’ve said.” She then started to shift her tone, and with a forced laugh, turned everything into a joke; soon after, the two ladies parted ways, both seeming cheerful. Amelia then returned to those household tasks where Mr. Booth found her at the end of the previous chapter.










Chapter iv. — Containing a very extraordinary incident.

In the afternoon Mr. Booth, with Amelia and her children, went to refresh themselves in the Park. The conversation now turned on what past in the morning with Mrs. Ellison, the latter part of the dialogue, I mean, recorded in the last chapter. Amelia told her husband that Mrs. Ellison so strongly denied all intentions to marry the serjeant, that she had convinced her the poor fellow was under an error, and had mistaken a little too much levity for serious encouragement; and concluded by desiring Booth not to jest with her any more on that subject.

In the afternoon, Mr. Booth went to relax in the Park with Amelia and her kids. Their conversation shifted to what happened that morning with Mrs. Ellison, specifically the second half of the discussion noted in the last chapter. Amelia told her husband that Mrs. Ellison firmly denied having any plans to marry the sergeant, convincing her that the poor guy was mistaken and had misinterpreted some lightheartedness as genuine interest. She finished by asking Booth not to joke about it anymore.

Booth burst into a laugh at what his wife said. “My dear creature,” said he, “how easily is thy honesty and simplicity to be imposed on! how little dost thou guess at the art and falsehood of women! I knew a young lady who, against her father’s consent, was married to a brother officer of mine; and, as I often used to walk with her (for I knew her father intimately well), she would of her own accord take frequent occasions to ridicule and vilify her husband (for so he was at the time), and exprest great wonder and indignation at the report which she allowed to prevail that she should condescend ever to look at such a fellow with any other design than of laughing at and despising him. The marriage afterwards became publicly owned, and the lady was reputably brought to bed. Since which I have often seen her; nor hath she ever appeared to be in the least ashamed of what she had formerly said, though, indeed, I believe she hates me heartily for having heard it.”

Booth burst out laughing at what his wife said. “My dear,” he remarked, “how easily your honesty and simplicity can be fooled! You have no idea about the tricks and deceit of women! I once knew a young woman who, against her father’s wishes, married a fellow officer of mine. Since I was familiar with her father, I would often walk with her, and she would often take the opportunity to mock and criticize her husband (as he was at the time) and express her surprise and anger at the rumor that she might ever look at him with anything other than disdain. Later, their marriage became public, and she gave birth to a child. Since then, I’ve seen her often, and she has never seemed the slightest bit ashamed of what she used to say, though I believe she strongly resents me for having heard it.”

“But for what reason,” cries Amelia, “should she deny a fact, when she must be so certain of our discovering it, and that immediately?”

“But why,” Amelia exclaims, “would she deny something when she has to be so sure we'll find out right away?”

“I can’t answer what end she may propose,” said Booth. “Sometimes one would be almost persuaded that there was a pleasure in lying itself. But this I am certain, that I would believe the honest serjeant on his bare word sooner than I would fifty Mrs. Ellisons on oath. I am convinced he would not have said what he did to me without the strongest encouragement; and, I think, after what we have been both witnesses to, it requires no great confidence in his veracity to give him an unlimited credit with regard to the lady’s behaviour.”

“I can’t say what her intentions might be,” said Booth. “Sometimes it almost seems like there’s a thrill in lying itself. But I’m certain of one thing: I’d trust the honest sergeant on his word before I’d trust fifty Mrs. Ellisons under oath. I’m convinced he wouldn’t have said what he did to me without strong encouragement; and given what we’ve both seen, it doesn’t take much faith in his honesty to give him complete trust regarding the lady’s behavior.”

To this Amelia made no reply; and they discoursed of other matters during the remainder of a very pleasant walk.

To this, Amelia didn't respond; and they talked about other things for the rest of a very enjoyable walk.

When they returned home Amelia was surprized to find an appearance of disorder in her apartment. Several of the trinkets which his lordship had given the children lay about the room; and a suit of her own cloaths, which she had left in her drawers, was now displayed upon the bed.

When they got home, Amelia was surprised to see that her apartment looked messy. Several of the trinkets that his lordship had given the kids were scattered around the room, and a set of her clothes that she had left in her drawers was now laid out on the bed.

She immediately summoned her little girl up-stairs, who, as she plainly perceived the moment she came up with a candle, had half cried her eyes out; for, though the girl had opened the door to them, as it was almost dark, she had not taken any notice of this phenomenon in her countenance.

She quickly called her little girl upstairs, who, as soon as she arrived with a candle, had clearly cried her eyes out; because, even though the girl had opened the door for them in the almost darkness, her expression hadn't shown any sign of this.

The girl now fell down upon her knees and cried, “For Heaven’s sake, madam, do not be angry with me. Indeed, I was left alone in the house; and, hearing somebody knock at the door, I opened it—I am sure thinking no harm. I did not know but it might have been you, or my master, or Madam Ellison; and immediately as I did, the rogue burst in and ran directly up-stairs, and what he hath robbed you of I cannot tell; but I am sure I could not help it, for he was a great swinging man with a pistol in each hand; and, if I had dared to call out, to be sure he would have killed me. I am sure I was never in such a fright in my born days, whereof I am hardly come to myself yet. I believe he is somewhere about the house yet, for I never saw him go out.”

The girl dropped to her knees and cried, “Please, madam, don’t be angry with me. I was left alone in the house, and when I heard someone knock at the door, I opened it—thinking no harm would come of it. I didn’t know it wasn’t you, my master, or Madam Ellison; and as soon as I opened it, the thief rushed in and ran straight upstairs. I can’t tell you what he stole, but I’m sure I couldn’t do anything to stop it since he was a big guy with a pistol in each hand. If I had dared to scream, he definitely would have killed me. I've never been so terrified in my life, and I’m still trying to recover from it. I believe he’s still somewhere in the house because I never saw him leave.”

Amelia discovered some little alarm at this narrative, but much less than many other ladies would have shewn, for a fright is, I believe, sometimes laid hold of as an opportunity of disclosing several charms peculiar to that occasion. And which, as Mr. Addison says of certain virtues,

Amelia found some slight concern in this story, but much less than many other women would have shown, because a scare is, I believe, sometimes seen as a chance to reveal various charms unique to that moment. And which, as Mr. Addison says of certain virtues,

     Shun the day, and lie conceal’d
     In the smooth seasons and the calms of life.
     Avoid the day, and stay hidden  
     In the gentle seasons and the peaceful moments of life.

Booth, having opened the window, and summoned in two chairmen to his assistance, proceeded to search the house; but all to no purpose; the thief was flown, though the poor girl, in her state of terror, had not seen him escape.

Booth, after opening the window and calling in two chairmen to help him, started to search the house; but it was all in vain; the thief had already escaped, even though the poor girl, in her panic, hadn’t noticed him get away.

But now a circumstance appeared which greatly surprized both Booth and Amelia; indeed, I believe it will have the same effect on the reader; and this was, that the thief had taken nothing with him. He had, indeed, tumbled over all Booth’s and Amelia’s cloaths and the children’s toys, but had left all behind him.

But now a situation arose that really surprised both Booth and Amelia; in fact, I think it will have the same effect on the reader. The surprising thing was that the thief had taken nothing with him. He had indeed rummaged through all of Booth's and Amelia's clothes and the children's toys, but left everything behind.

Amelia was scarce more pleased than astonished at this discovery, and re-examined the girl, assuring her of an absolute pardon if she confessed the truth, but grievously threatening her if she was found guilty of the least falsehood. “As for a thief, child,” says she, “that is certainly not true; you have had somebody with you to whom you have been shewing the things; therefore tell me plainly who it was.”

Amelia was hardly more pleased than shocked by this discovery, and she looked the girl over again, promising her complete forgiveness if she admitted the truth, but seriously warning her if she was found guilty of even the slightest lie. “As for being a thief, sweetie,” she said, “that’s definitely not true; you must have had someone with you to whom you’ve been showing the things; so just tell me clearly who it was.”

The girl protested in the solemnest manner that she knew not the person; but as to some circumstances she began to vary a little from her first account, particularly as to the pistols, concerning which, being strictly examined by Booth, she at last cried—“To be sure, sir, he must have had pistols about him.” And instead of persisting in his having rushed in upon her, she now confessed that he had asked at the door for her master and mistress; and that at his desire she had shewn him up-stairs, where he at first said he would stay till their return home; “but, indeed,” cried she, “I thought no harm, for he looked like a gentleman-like sort of man. And, indeed, so I thought he was for a good while, whereof he sat down and behaved himself very civilly, till he saw some of master’s and miss’s things upon the chest of drawers; whereof he cried, ‘Hey-day! what’s here?’ and then he fell to tumbling about the things like any mad. Then I thinks, thinks I to myself, to be sure he is a highwayman, whereof I did not dare speak to him; for I knew Madam Ellison and her maid was gone out, and what could such a poor girl as I do against a great strong man? and besides, thinks I, to be sure he hath got pistols about him, though I can’t indeed, (that I will not do for the world) take my Bible-oath that I saw any; yet to be sure he would have soon pulled them out and shot me dead if I had ventured to have said anything to offend him.”

The girl insisted very seriously that she didn't know the man; however, she started to change her story a bit about some details, especially concerning the pistols. When Booth pressed her, she finally exclaimed, “Of course, sir, he must have had pistols with him.” Instead of sticking to her claim that he had burst in on her, she admitted that he had asked at the door for her master and mistress. At his request, she had shown him upstairs, where he initially said he would wait until they got back. “But honestly,” she said, “I thought nothing of it because he looked like a gentleman. And, I really thought he was for quite a while. He sat down and behaved himself very politely until he saw some of master’s and miss's things on the chest of drawers, at which he exclaimed, ‘Wow! What’s this?’ and then he started throwing things around like he was crazy. Then I thought to myself, of course, he’s a highwayman, and I didn't dare say anything to him; I knew Madam Ellison and her maid were out, and what could a poor girl like me do against a big strong man? Besides, I thought, he must have pistols with him, even though I can’t honestly swear on my Bible that I saw any; still, he would have quickly pulled them out and shot me if I had dared to say anything to upset him.”

“I know not what to make of this,” cries Booth. “The poor girl, I verily believe, speaks to the best of her knowledge. A thief it could not be, for he hath not taken the least thing; and it is plain he had the girl’s watch in his hand. If it had been a bailiff, surely he would have staid till our return. I can conceive no other from the girl’s account than that it must have been some madman.”

“I don’t know what to make of this,” Booth exclaims. “The poor girl, I truly believe, is telling the truth as she understands it. It can’t be a thief, because he didn’t take a single thing; and it’s clear he had the girl’s watch in his hand. If he was a bailiff, he would have waited until we got back. I can only imagine from the girl’s story that it must have been some kind of madman.”

“O good sir!” said the girl, “now you mention it, if he was not a thief, to be sure he must have been a madman: for indeed he looked, and behaved himself too, very much like a madman; for, now I remember it, he talked to himself and said many strange kind of words that I did not understand. Indeed, he looked altogether as I have seen people in Bedlam; besides, if he was not a madman, what good could it do him to throw the things all about the room in such a manner? and he said something too about my master just before he went down-stairs. I was in such a fright I cannot remember particularly, but I am sure they were very ill words; he said he would do for him—I am sure he said that, and other wicked bad words too, if I could but think of them.”

“Oh good sir!” said the girl, “now that you mention it, if he wasn't a thief, he must have been crazy. He really looked and acted a lot like someone who's insane; I remember now that he talked to himself and used all sorts of strange words that I didn’t get. Honestly, he looked just like people I’ve seen in a mental hospital. Plus, if he wasn’t insane, what would be the point of throwing everything around the room like that? And he said something about my master right before he went downstairs. I was so scared I can’t remember the details, but I’m certain they were awful words; he said he would take care of him—I know he said that, along with other really bad things too, if only I could remember them.”

“Upon my word,” said Booth, “this is the most probable conjecture; but still I am puzzled to conceive who it should be, for I have no madman to my knowledge of my acquaintance, and it seems, as the girl says, he asked for me.” He then turned to the child, and asked her if she was certain of that circumstance.

“Honestly,” Booth said, “this seems like the most likely guess; but I’m still trying to figure out who it could be, since I don’t know any madmen that I’m aware of, and it appears, as the girl mentioned, that he asked for me.” He then turned to the child and asked her if she was sure about that detail.

The poor maid, after a little hesitation, answered, “Indeed, sir, I cannot be very positive; for the fright he threw me into afterwards drove everything almost out of my mind.”

The poor maid, after a moment of hesitation, replied, “Honestly, sir, I can’t be very sure; the scare he gave me afterward made me forget almost everything.”

“Well, whatever he was,” cries Amelia, “I am glad the consequence is no worse; but let this be a warning to you, little Betty, and teach you to take more care for the future. If ever you should be left alone in the house again, be sure to let no persons in without first looking out at the window and seeing who they are. I promised not to chide you any more on this occasion, and I will keep my word; but it is very plain you desired this person to walk up into our apartment, which was very wrong in our absence.”

"Well, no matter who he was," Amelia exclaims, "I'm just glad it didn't turn out worse; but let this be a lesson for you, little Betty, and make sure you take more care in the future. If you ever find yourself home alone again, always check the window and see who’s outside before letting anyone in. I promised not to scold you about this anymore, and I will stick to that; but it's clear you let this person come into our space, which was really not okay while we were gone."

Betty was going to answer, but Amelia would not let her, saying, “Don’t attempt to excuse yourself; for I mortally hate a liar, and can forgive any fault sooner than falsehood.”

Betty was about to respond, but Amelia interrupted her, saying, “Don’t even try to explain yourself; I absolutely hate liars and can forgive any mistake quicker than I can forgive dishonesty.”

The poor girl then submitted; and now Amelia, with her assistance, began to replace all things in their order; and little Emily hugging her watch with great fondness, declared she would never part with it any more.

The poor girl then agreed; and now Amelia, with her help, started putting everything back in its place; and little Emily, hugging her watch tightly, said she would never let it go again.

Thus ended this odd adventure, not entirely to the satisfaction of Booth; for, besides his curiosity, which, when thoroughly roused, is a very troublesome passion, he had, as is I believe usual with all persons in his circumstances, several doubts and apprehensions of he knew not what. Indeed, fear is never more uneasy than when it doth not certainly know its object; for on such occasions the mind is ever employed in raising a thousand bugbears and fantoms, much more dreadful than any realities, and, like children when they tell tales of hobgoblins, seems industrious in terrifying itself.

Thus ended this strange adventure, not entirely satisfying for Booth; for, in addition to his curiosity, which, when fully stirred, can be quite a bothersome passion, he had, as is common with most people in his situation, several doubts and fears about things he couldn’t quite identify. In fact, fear is never more unsettling than when it doesn’t clearly know what it’s afraid of; in such moments, the mind often gets caught up in imagining a thousand scary images and phantoms, much more terrifying than any real threats, and, like kids telling stories of monsters, seems to work hard at scaring itself.










Chapter v. — Containing some matters not very unnatural.

Matters were scarce sooner reduced into order and decency than a violent knocking was heard at the door, such indeed as would have persuaded any one not accustomed to the sound that the madman was returned in the highest spring-tide of his fury.

Matters were barely set into order and decency when a loud banging was heard at the door, so intense that it would lead anyone unfamiliar with the noise to believe that the madman had returned in the peak of his rage.

Instead, however, of so disagreeable an appearance, a very fine lady presently came into the room, no other, indeed, than Mrs. James herself; for she was resolved to shew Amelia, by the speedy return of her visit, how unjust all her accusation had been of any failure in the duties of friendship; she had, moreover, another reason to accelerate this visit, and that was, to congratulate her friend on the event of the duel between Colonel Bath and Mr. Booth.

Instead, rather than a rather unpleasant sight, a very elegant lady soon entered the room, none other than Mrs. James herself; she was determined to show Amelia, by quickly returning her visit, how unfair all her accusations had been regarding any failure in the duties of friendship. Additionally, she had another reason to rush this visit, which was to congratulate her friend on the outcome of the duel between Colonel Bath and Mr. Booth.

The lady had so well profited by Mrs. Booth’s remonstrance, that she had now no more of that stiffness and formality which she had worn on a former occasion. On the contrary, she now behaved with the utmost freedom and good-humour, and made herself so very agreeable, that Amelia was highly pleased and delighted with her company.

The lady had taken Mrs. Booth’s advice to heart, so she no longer had the stiffness and formality she had shown before. Instead, she was now very relaxed and cheerful, making herself so pleasant that Amelia was really happy and enjoyed her company.

An incident happened during this visit, that may appear to some too inconsiderable in itself to be recorded; and yet, as it certainly produced a very strong consequence in the mind of Mr. Booth, we cannot prevail on ourselves to pass it by.

An incident occurred during this visit that might seem too trivial to note; however, since it had a significant impact on Mr. Booth, we can't bring ourselves to overlook it.

Little Emily, who was present in the room while Mrs. James was there, as she stood near that lady happened to be playing with her watch, which she was so greatly overjoyed had escaped safe from the madman. Mrs. James, who exprest great fondness for the child, desired to see the watch, which she commended as the prettiest of the kind she had ever seen.

Little Emily, who was in the room while Mrs. James was there, stood near the lady and was playing with her watch, feeling incredibly happy that it had safely gotten away from the madman. Mrs. James, who was very fond of the child, wanted to see the watch, which she praised as the prettiest one she had ever seen.

Amelia caught eager hold of this opportunity to spread the praises of her benefactor. She presently acquainted Mrs. James with the donor’s name, and ran on with great encomiums on his lordship’s goodness, and particularly on his generosity. To which Mrs. James answered, “O! certainly, madam, his lordship hath universally the character of being extremely generous-where he likes.”

Amelia excitedly grabbed this chance to sing the praises of her benefactor. She quickly informed Mrs. James about the donor’s name and went on with high praise for his lordship’s kindness, especially highlighting his generosity. To which Mrs. James replied, “Oh! Absolutely, ma'am, his lordship is known for being extremely generous—when he chooses to be.”

In uttering these words she laid a very strong emphasis on the three last monosyllables, accompanying them at the same time with a very sagacious look, a very significant leer, and a great flirt with her fan.

In saying these words, she put a lot of emphasis on the last three monosyllables, while giving a knowing look, a meaningful grin, and a playful flick of her fan.

The greatest genius the world hath ever produced observes, in one of his most excellent plays, that

The greatest genius the world has ever produced notes, in one of his most outstanding plays, that

     Trifles, light as air,
     Are to the jealous confirmations strong
     As proofs of holy writ.
     Trifles, as light as air,  
     Are to the jealous, strong confirmations  
     Like evidence from sacred texts.

That Mr. Booth began to be possessed by this worst of fiends, admits, I think, no longer doubt; for at this speech of Mrs. James he immediately turned pale, and, from a high degree of chearfulness, was all on a sudden struck dumb, so that he spoke not another word till Mrs. James left the room.

That Mr. Booth started to be affected by this worst of demons, I think, is no longer in doubt; for at Mrs. James's remark, he immediately turned pale and, going from being very cheerful to suddenly speechless, didn't say another word until Mrs. James left the room.

The moment that lady drove from the door Mrs. Ellison came up-stairs. She entered the room with a laugh, and very plentifully rallied both Booth and Amelia concerning the madman, of which she had received a full account below-stairs; and at last asked Amelia if she could not guess who it was; but, without receiving an answer, went on, saying, “For my own part, I fancy it must be some lover of yours! some person that hath seen you, and so is run mad with love. Indeed, I should not wonder if all mankind were to do the same. La! Mr. Booth, what makes you grave? why, you are as melancholy as if you had been robbed in earnest. Upon my word, though, to be serious, it is a strange story, and, as the girl tells it, I know not what to make of it. Perhaps it might be some rogue that intended to rob the house, and his heart failed him; yet even that would be very extraordinary. What, did you lose nothing, madam?”

The moment that lady drove away, Mrs. Ellison came upstairs. She entered the room laughing and playfully teased both Booth and Amelia about the madman, of whom she had heard a full account downstairs. Finally, she asked Amelia if she could guess who it was, but without waiting for an answer, she continued, “For my part, I think it must be some lover of yours! Someone who's seen you and gone mad with love. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if all mankind felt the same way. Oh, Mr. Booth, why do you look so serious? You seem as gloomy as if you’d been robbed for real. But seriously, it is a strange story, and based on what the girl says, I don't know what to think. Maybe it was some criminal who intended to rob the house, and then lost his nerve; even that would be very unusual. By the way, did you lose anything, madam?”

“Nothing at all,” answered Amelia. “He did not even take the child’s watch.”

“Nothing at all,” Amelia replied. “He didn’t even take the kid’s watch.”

“Well, captain,” cries Mrs. Ellison, “I hope you will take more care of the house to-morrow; for your lady and I shall leave you alone to the care of it. Here, madam,” said she, “here is a present from my lord to us; here are two tickets for the masquerade at Ranelagh. You will be so charmed with it! It is the sweetest of all diversions.”

“Well, captain,” Mrs. Ellison exclaims, “I hope you’ll take better care of the house tomorrow because my lady and I are leaving you in charge. Here, madam,” she continues, “this is a gift from my lord to us; here are two tickets for the masquerade at Ranelagh. You’re going to love it! It’s the best of all entertainment.”

“May I be damned, madam,” cries Booth, “if my wife shall go thither.”

“Damn it, ma’am,” Booth exclaims, “if my wife is going there.”

Mrs. Ellison stared at these words, and, indeed, so did Amelia; for they were spoke with great vehemence. At length the former cried out with an air of astonishment, “Not let your lady go to Ranelagh, sir?”

Mrs. Ellison stared at these words, and so did Amelia; they were spoken with great intensity. Finally, Mrs. Ellison exclaimed in disbelief, “You’re not going to let your lady go to Ranelagh, sir?”

“No, madam,” cries Booth, “I will not let my wife go to Ranelagh.”

“No, ma’am,” Booth exclaims, “I won’t allow my wife to go to Ranelagh.”

“You surprize me!” cries Mrs. Ellison. “Sure, you are not in earnest?”

“You surprise me!” exclaims Mrs. Ellison. “Surely, you can’t be serious?”

“Indeed, madam,” returned he, “I am seriously in earnest. And, what is more, I am convinced she would of her own accord refuse to go.”

“Absolutely, ma’am,” he replied, “I’m completely serious. And what's more, I’m sure she would willingly refuse to go.”

“Now, madam,” said Mrs. Ellison, “you are to answer for yourself: and I will for your husband, that, if you have a desire to go, he will not refuse you.”

“Now, ma'am,” said Mrs. Ellison, “you need to speak for yourself: and I will speak for your husband, that if you want to go, he won’t stop you.”

“I hope, madam,” answered Amelia with great gravity, “I shall never desire to go to any place contrary to Mr. Booth’s inclinations.”

“I hope, ma'am,” Amelia replied with great seriousness, “I will never want to go anywhere that goes against Mr. Booth's wishes.”

“Did ever mortal hear the like?” said Mrs. Ellison; “you are enough to spoil the best husband in the universe. Inclinations! what, is a woman to be governed then by her husband’s inclinations, though they are never so unreasonable?”

“Has anyone ever heard anything like this?” said Mrs. Ellison. “You’re enough to ruin the best husband in the world. Inclinations! So, is a woman supposed to be controlled by her husband’s inclinations, even if they’re completely unreasonable?”

“Pardon me, madam,” said Amelia; “I will not suppose Mr. Booth’s inclinations ever can be unreasonable. I am very much obliged to you for the offer you have made me; but I beg you will not mention it any more; for, after what Mr. Booth hath declared, if Ranelagh was a heaven upon earth, I would refuse to go to it.”

“Excuse me, ma’am,” said Amelia; “I can’t believe Mr. Booth’s feelings could ever be unreasonable. I really appreciate your offer; however, I ask that you don’t bring it up again. After what Mr. Booth has said, even if Ranelagh were paradise on earth, I would refuse to go.”

“I thank you, my dear,” cries Booth; “I do assure you, you oblige me beyond my power of expression by what you say; but I will endeavour to shew you, both my sensibility of such goodness, and my lasting gratitude to it.”

“I thank you, my dear,” says Booth; “I truly appreciate what you’re saying and it means more to me than I can express; but I will try to show you how much your kindness affects me and my lasting gratitude for it.”

“And pray, sir,” cries Mrs. Ellison, “what can be your objection to your lady’s going to a place which, I will venture to say, is as reputable as any about town, and which is frequented by the best company?”

“And please, sir,” Mrs. Ellison exclaims, “what could your objection be to your lady going to a place that I dare say is as respectable as any in the city, and that is visited by the finest people?”

“Pardon me, good Mrs. Ellison,” said Booth: “as my wife is so good to acquiesce without knowing my reasons, I am not, I think, obliged to assign them to any other person.”

“Excuse me, dear Mrs. Ellison,” said Booth. “Since my wife is so kind to agree without knowing my reasons, I don’t think I’m required to explain them to anyone else.”

“Well,” cries Mrs. Ellison, “if I had been told this, I would not have believed it. What, refuse your lady an innocent diversion, and that too when you have not the pretence to say it would cost you a farthing?”

“Well,” exclaims Mrs. Ellison, “if I had been told this, I wouldn’t have believed it. What, deny your lady an innocent pastime, especially when you can’t even pretend it would cost you a penny?”

“Why will you say any more on this subject, dear madam?” cries Amelia. “All diversions are to me matters of such indifference, that the bare inclinations of any one for whom I have the least value would at all times turn the balance of mine. I am sure then, after what Mr. Booth hath said—”

“Why will you say anything more on this topic, dear madam?” Amelia exclaims. “All entertainment is so unimportant to me that the slightest preferences of someone I care about would always sway my own. I am certain then, after what Mr. Booth has said—”

“My dear,” cries he, taking her up hastily, “I sincerely ask your pardon; I spoke inadvertently, and in a passion. I never once thought of controuling you, nor ever would. Nay, I said in the same breath you would not go; and, upon my honour, I meant nothing more.”

“My dear,” he exclaims, quickly picking her up, “I truly apologize; I spoke without thinking and in anger. I never once meant to control you, nor would I ever. In fact, I said right after that you wouldn’t go; and, I swear, I didn’t mean anything else.”

“My dear,” said she, “you have no need of making any apology. I am not in the least offended, and am convinced you will never deny me what I shall desire.”

“My dear,” she said, “you don’t need to apologize at all. I’m not offended in the slightest, and I’m sure you’ll never refuse me what I want.”

“Try him, try him, madam,” cries Mrs. Ellison; “I will be judged by all the women in town if it is possible for a wife to ask her husband anything more reasonable. You can’t conceive what a sweet, charming, elegant, delicious place it is. Paradise itself can hardly be equal to it.”

“Give him a try, give him a try, ma'am,” says Mrs. Ellison; “I will let all the women in town judge me if a wife could ask her husband for anything more reasonable. You can’t imagine how lovely, charming, elegant, and amazing it is. Even paradise could hardly compare to it.”

“I beg you will excuse me, madam,” said Amelia; “nay, I entreat you will ask me no more; for be assured I must and will refuse. Do let me desire you to give the ticket to poor Mrs. Bennet. I believe it would greatly oblige her.”

“I ask that you please forgive me, ma'am,” said Amelia; “really, I urge you not to ask me again; for you can be sure I must and will say no. Please let me request that you give the ticket to poor Mrs. Bennet. I believe it would mean a lot to her.”

“Pardon me, madam,” said Mrs. Ellison; “if you will not accept of it, I am not so distressed for want of company as to go to such a public place with all sort of people neither. I am always very glad to see Mrs. Bennet at my own house, because I look upon her as a very good sort of woman; but I don’t chuse to be seen with such people in public places.”

“Excuse me, ma'am,” said Mrs. Ellison; “if you won’t accept it, I’m not so desperate for company that I would go to such a public place with all kinds of people. I’m always happy to see Mrs. Bennet at my own house because I think she’s a really good person; but I don’t want to be seen with such people in public.”

Amelia exprest some little indignation at this last speech, which she declared to be entirely beyond her comprehension; and soon after, Mrs. Ellison, finding all her efforts to prevail on Amelia were ineffectual, took her leave, giving Mr. Booth two or three sarcastical words, and a much more sarcastical look, at her departure.

Amelia expressed some annoyance at this last comment, which she said was completely beyond her understanding; soon after, Mrs. Ellison, realizing that all her attempts to persuade Amelia were useless, said her goodbyes, throwing Mr. Booth a couple of sarcastic remarks and an even more sarcastic glance as she left.










Chapter vi. — A scene in which some ladies will possibly think Amelia’s conduct exceptionable.

Booth and his wife being left alone, a solemn silence prevailed during a few minutes. At last Amelia, who, though a good, was yet a human creatures said to her husband, “Pray, my dear, do inform me what could put you into so great a passion when Mrs. Ellison first offered me the tickets for this masquerade?”

Booth and his wife were left alone, and a serious silence lasted for a few minutes. Finally, Amelia, who was a good person but still human, said to her husband, “Please, my dear, tell me what made you so angry when Mrs. Ellison first offered me the tickets for this masquerade?”

“I had rather you would not ask me,” said Booth. “You have obliged me greatly in your ready acquiescence with my desire, and you will add greatly to the obligation by not enquiring the reason of it. This you may depend upon, Amelia, that your good and happiness are the great objects of all my wishes, and the end I propose in all my actions. This view alone could tempt me to refuse you anything, or to conceal anything from you.”

“I’d prefer if you didn’t ask me,” Booth said. “You’ve been really great by quickly agreeing to what I wanted, and it would mean a lot to me if you didn’t ask why. You can trust me on this, Amelia: your well-being and happiness are my top priorities, and the goal behind everything I do. Only this reason could ever make me refuse you anything or hide something from you.”

“I will appeal to yourself,” answered she, “whether this be not using me too much like a child, and whether I can possibly help being a little offended at it?”

“I will appeal to you,” she replied, “isn't this treating me a bit too much like a child, and can I really help but feel a little offended by it?”

“Not in the least,” replied he; “I use you only with the tenderness of a friend. I would only endeavour to conceal that from you which I think would give you uneasiness if you knew. These are called the pious frauds of friendship.”

“Not at all,” he replied; “I treat you with nothing but the care of a friend. I just try to hide from you what I believe would make you anxious if you found out. These are known as the noble lies of friendship.”

“I detest all fraud,” says she; “and pious is too good an epithet to be joined to so odious a word. You have often, you know, tried these frauds with no better effect than to teize and torment me. You cannot imagine, my dear, but that I must have a violent desire to know the reason of words which I own I never expected to have heard. And the more you have shown a reluctance to tell me, the more eagerly I have longed to know. Nor can this be called a vain curiosity, since I seem so much interested in this affair. If after all this, you still insist on keeping the secret, I will convince you I am not ignorant of the duty of a wife by my obedience; but I cannot help telling you at the same time you will make me one of the most miserable of women.”

“I hate all forms of deceit,” she says; “and ‘pious’ is too nice a word to be associated with such a terrible one. You’ve often tried these tricks, you know, with nothing more than to tease and torment me. You can’t imagine, my dear, how much I desperately want to understand the reason behind words that I honestly never expected to hear. And the more you’ve shown that you don’t want to tell me, the more I’ve wanted to know. This can’t be called mere curiosity since I seem so deeply involved in this situation. If after all this, you still insist on keeping the secret, I will show you that I know my responsibilities as a wife through my obedience; but I must also tell you that you’ll make me one of the most miserable women.”

“That is,” cries he, “in other words, my dear Emily, to say, I will be contented without the secret, but I am resolved to know it, nevertheless.”

“That is,” he exclaims, “in other words, my dear Emily, to say, I will be okay without the secret, but I am determined to know it anyway.”

“Nay, if you say so,” cries she, “I am convinced you will tell me. Positively, dear Billy, I must and will know.”

“Sure, if you say so,” she exclaims, “I’m sure you’ll tell me. Honestly, dear Billy, I have to know.”

“Why, then, positively,” says Booth, “I will tell you. And I think I shall then shew you that, however well you may know the duty of a wife, I am not always able to behave like a husband. In a word then, my dear, the secret is no more than this; I am unwilling you should receive any more presents from my lord.”

“Why, then, for sure,” Booth says, “I'll tell you. And I think I’ll show you that, no matter how well you understand the responsibilities of a wife, I’m not always able to act like a husband. In short, my dear, the secret is simply this: I don’t want you to receive any more gifts from my lord.”

“Mercy upon me!” cries she, with all the marks of astonishment; “what! a masquerade ticket!”—

“Have mercy on me!” she exclaims, her face full of shock. “What! A masquerade ticket!”—

“Yes, my dear,” cries he; “that is, perhaps, the very worst and most dangerous of all. Few men make presents of those tickets to ladies without intending to meet them at the place. And what do we know of your companion? To be sincere with you, I have not liked her behaviour for some time. What might be the consequence of going with such a woman to such a place, to meet such a person, I tremble to think. And now, my dear, I have told you my reason of refusing her offer with some little vehemence, and I think I need explain myself no farther.”

“Yes, my dear,” he exclaims, “that might be the worst and most dangerous of all. Very few men give those tickets to women without planning to meet them there. And what do we really know about your companion? Honestly, I've been uncomfortable with her behavior for a while now. I shudder to think what could happen if you go with someone like her to a place like that, to meet a person like that. So now, my dear, I've shared my reasons for turning down her offer quite firmly, and I believe I don’t need to say more.”

“You need not, indeed, sir,” answered she. “Good Heavens! did I ever expect to hear this? I can appeal to heaven, nay, I will appeal to yourself, Mr. Booth, if I have ever done anything to deserve such a suspicion. If ever any action of mine, nay, if ever any thought, had stained the innocence of my soul, I could be contented.”

“You really don’t, sir,” she replied. “Good heavens! Did I ever think I’d hear that? I can swear to God, no, I will ask you, Mr. Booth, if I’ve ever done anything to deserve such a suspicion. If any action of mine, or even any thought, had tainted the purity of my soul, I could accept it.”

“How cruelly do you mistake me!” said Booth. “What suspicion have I ever shewn?”

“How wrongly do you misunderstand me!” Booth said. “What suspicion have I ever shown?”

“Can you ask it,” answered she, “after what you have just now declared?”

“Can you ask it,” she replied, “after what you just said?”

“If I have declared any suspicion of you,” replied he, “or if ever I entertained a thought leading that way, may the worst of evils that ever afflicted human nature attend me! I know the pure innocence of that tender bosom, I do know it, my lovely angel, and adore it. The snares which might be laid for that innocence were alone the cause of my apprehension. I feared what a wicked and voluptuous man, resolved to sacrifice everything to the gratification of a sensual appetite with the most delicious repast, might attempt. If ever I injured the unspotted whiteness of thy virtue in my imagination, may hell—-”

“If I’ve ever shown any doubt about you,” he replied, “or if I ever had a thought in that direction, may the worst things that ever happened to humanity come to me! I know the pure innocence of that precious heart, I truly do, my beautiful angel, and I cherish it. The only reason for my worry was the traps that could be set for that innocence. I was afraid of what a wicked and indulgent man, determined to satisfy his every carnal desire with the most delightful pleasures, might try to do. If I ever tarnished the spotless purity of your virtue in my mind, may hell—”

“Do not terrify me,” cries she, interrupting him, “with such imprecations. O, Mr. Booth! Mr. Booth! you must well know that a woman’s virtue is always her sufficient guard. No husband, without suspecting that, can suspect any danger from those snares you mention; and why, if you are liable to take such things into your head, may not your suspicions fall on me as well as on any other? for sure nothing was ever more unjust, I will not say ungrateful, than the suspicions which you have bestowed on his lordship. I do solemnly declare, in all the times I have seen the poor man, he hath never once offered the least forwardness. His behaviour hath been polite indeed, but rather remarkably distant than otherwise. Particularly when we played at cards together. I don’t remember he spoke ten words to me all the evening; and when I was at his house, though he shewed the greatest fondness imaginable to the children, he took so little notice of me, that a vain woman would have been very little pleased with him. And if he gave them many presents, he never offered me one. The first, indeed, which he ever offered me was that which you in that kind manner forced me to refuse.”

“Don’t frighten me,” she says, interrupting him, “with such curses. Oh, Mr. Booth! Mr. Booth! you must know that a woman’s virtue is always her best protection. A husband who doesn’t suspect that can’t see any threat from those traps you mention; and why, if you’re likely to think that way, could your suspicions not turn to me just as easily as anyone else? It’s certainly unfair, and I won’t say ungrateful, to cast such suspicions on his lordship. I solemnly swear, every time I’ve seen that poor man, he’s never shown the slightest interest. He’s been polite, yes, but more noticeably distant. Especially when we played cards together. I can’t recall him saying more than ten words to me all evening; and when I visited his house, although he showed the greatest affection for the children, he paid so little attention to me that a vain woman would have been very disappointed with him. And if he gave them many gifts, he never offered me one. The first gift he ever tried to give me was the one you insisted I refuse.”

“All this may be only the effect of art,” said Booth. “I am convinced he doth, nay, I am convinced he must like you; and my good friend James, who perfectly well knows the world, told me, that his lordship’s character was that of the most profuse in his pleasures with women; nay, what said Mrs. James this very evening? ‘His lordship is extremely generous—where he likes.’ I shall never forget the sneer with which she spoke those last words.”

“All of this might just be a trick of art,” said Booth. “I truly believe he does, no, I'm convinced he must like you; and my good friend James, who knows the world very well, told me that his lordship's character is one of the most lavish when it comes to indulging in pleasures with women; in fact, what did Mrs. James say just this evening? ‘His lordship is very generous—when he likes.’ I will never forget the sneer with which she said those last words.”

“I am convinced they injure him,” cries Amelia. “As for Mrs. James, she was always given to be censorious; I remarked it in her long ago, as her greatest fault. And for the colonel, I believe he may find faults enow of this kind in his own bosom, without searching after them among his neighbours. I am sure he hath the most impudent look of all the men I know; and I solemnly declare, the very last time he was here he put me out of countenance more than once.”

“I’m convinced they’re hurting him,” Amelia exclaims. “As for Mrs. James, she’s always been critical; I noticed that a long time ago, and it’s her biggest flaw. And as for the colonel, I think he can find plenty of faults in himself without looking for them in his neighbors. I’m sure he has the most shameless expression of all the men I know, and I swear, the last time he was here, he embarrassed me more than once.”

“Colonel James,” answered Booth, “may have his faults very probably. I do not look upon him as a saint, nor do I believe he desires I should; but what interest could he have in abusing this lord’s character to me? or why should I question his truth, when he assured me that my lord had never done an act of beneficence in his life but for the sake of some woman whom he lusted after?”

“Colonel James,” Booth replied, “definitely has his flaws. I don’t see him as a saint, nor do I think he wants me to; but what reason would he have to badmouth this lord to me? And why should I doubt his honesty when he told me that my lord has never done anything kind in his life except for some woman he was after?”

“Then I myself can confute him,” replied Amelia: “for, besides his services to you, which, for the future, I shall wish to forget, and his kindness to my little babes, how inconsistent is the character which James gives of him with his lordship’s behaviour to his own nephew and niece, whose extreme fondness of their uncle sufficiently proclaims his goodness to them? I need not mention all that I have heard from Mrs. Ellison, every word of which I believe; for I have great reason to think, notwithstanding some little levity, which, to give her her due, she sees and condemns in herself, she is a very good sort of woman.”

“Then I can challenge him myself,” replied Amelia. “Because, aside from his help to you, which I’d like to forget moving forward, and his kindness to my little ones, how inconsistent is the picture James paints of him compared to how Lord behaves towards his own nephew and niece, whose deep affection for their uncle clearly shows his goodness to them? I don’t need to mention everything I’ve heard from Mrs. Ellison, every word of which I believe; because I have plenty of reason to think that, despite some minor silliness, which, to be fair, she recognizes and disapproves of in herself, she is a really good person.”

“Well, my dear,” cries Booth, “I may have been deceived, and I heartily hope I am so; but in cases of this nature it is always good to be on the surest side; for, as Congreve says,

“Well, my dear,” Booth exclaims, “I might have been fooled, and I genuinely hope I have been; but in situations like this, it’s always better to be on the safe side; because, as Congreve says,

              ‘The wise too jealous are: fools too secure.’”
 
‘The wise are often too jealous; fools are too confident.’

Here Amelia burst into tears, upon which Booth immediately caught her in his arms, and endeavoured to comfort her. Passion, however, for a while obstructed her speech, and at last she cried, “O, Mr. Booth! can I bear to hear the word jealousy from your mouth?”

Here Amelia burst into tears, and Booth quickly wrapped his arms around her, trying to comfort her. However, strong emotions made it hard for her to speak, and finally, she said, “Oh, Mr. Booth! How can I stand to hear the word jealousy from you?”

“Why, my love,” said Booth, “will you so fatally misunderstand my meaning? how often shall I protest that it is not of you, but of him, that I was jealous? If you could look into my breast, and there read all the most secret thoughts of my heart, you would not see one faint idea to your dishonour.”

“Why, my love,” said Booth, “do you keep misunderstanding what I mean? How many times do I have to say that I’m not jealous of you, but of him? If you could look inside my heart and see all my deepest thoughts, you wouldn't find a single thought that would bring you shame.”

“I don’t misunderstand you, my dear,” said she, “so much as I am afraid you misunderstand yourself. What is it you fear?—you mention not force, but snares. Is not this to confess, at least, that you have some doubt of my understanding? do you then really imagine me so weak as to be cheated of my virtue?—am I to be deceived into an affection for a man before I perceive the least inward hint of my danger? No, Mr. Booth, believe me, a woman must be a fool indeed who can have in earnest such an excuse for her actions. I have not, I think, any very high opinion of my judgment, but so far I shall rely upon it, that no man breathing could have any such designs as you have apprehended without my immediately seeing them; and how I should then act I hope my whole conduct to you hath sufficiently declared.”

“I don’t misunderstand you, my dear,” she said, “but I fear you misunderstand yourself. What are you afraid of?—you mention not being forced, but traps. Doesn’t this admit, at least, that you have some doubt about my understanding? Do you really think I'm so weak that I could be tricked into losing my virtue?—am I supposed to fall for a man before I even notice any signs of danger? No, Mr. Booth, believe me, a woman would have to be a fool to seriously use such an excuse for her actions. I don’t have a very high opinion of my judgment, but I trust enough in it that no man could have the designs you fear without me noticing immediately; and how I would act then, I hope my behavior towards you has made clear.”

“Well, my dear,” cries Booth, “I beg you will mention it no more; if possible, forget it. I hope, nay, I believe, I have been in the wrong; pray forgive me.”

“Well, my dear,” Booth exclaims, “please don’t bring it up again; if you can, forget it. I hope, and I truly believe, I’ve been in the wrong; please forgive me.”

“I will, I do forgive you, my dear,” said she, “if forgiveness be a proper word for one whom you have rather made miserable than angry; but let me entreat you to banish for ever all such suspicions from your mind. I hope Mrs. Ellison hath not discovered the real cause of your passion; but, poor woman, if she had, I am convinced it would go no farther. Oh, Heavens! I would not for the world it should reach his lordship’s ears. You would lose the best friend that ever man had. Nay, I would not for his own sake, poor man; for I really believe it would affect him greatly, and I must, I cannot help having an esteem for so much goodness. An esteem which, by this dear hand,” said she, taking Booth’s hand and kissing it, “no man alive shall ever obtain by making love to me.”

“I will, I do forgive you, my dear,” she said, “if forgiveness is the right word for someone you’ve made more miserable than angry; but please, I urge you to permanently rid your mind of such suspicions. I hope Mrs. Ellison hasn’t figured out the real reason behind your feelings; but, poor woman, if she did, I’m sure it wouldn’t go any further. Oh, heavens! I wouldn’t want it to reach his lordship’s ears for anything. You would lose the best friend a man could ever have. No, I wouldn’t want that for his sake, poor man; I truly believe it would affect him deeply, and I can’t help but have a regard for such goodness. A regard which, by this dear hand,” she said, taking Booth’s hand and kissing it, “no man alive will ever earn by trying to woo me.”

Booth caught her in his arms and tenderly embraced her. After which the reconciliation soon became complete; and Booth, in the contemplation of his happiness, entirely buried all his jealous thoughts.

Booth caught her in his arms and gently hugged her. After that, they reconciled completely, and Booth, lost in his happiness, pushed all his jealous thoughts aside.










Chapter vii. — A chapter in which there is much learning.

The next morning, whilst Booth was gone to take his morning walk, Amelia went down into Mrs. Ellison’s apartment, where, though she was received with great civility, yet she found that lady was not at all pleased with Mr. Booth; and, by some hints which dropt from her in conversation, Amelia very greatly apprehended that Mrs. Ellison had too much suspicion of her husband’s real uneasiness; for that lady declared very openly she could not help perceiving what sort of man Mr. Booth was: “And though I have the greatest regard for you, madam, in the world,” said she, “yet I think myself in honour obliged not to impose on his lordship, who, I know very well, hath conceived his greatest liking to the captain on my telling him that he was the best husband in the world.”

The next morning, while Booth was out for his morning walk, Amelia went down to Mrs. Ellison’s apartment. Although she was greeted with great politeness, she sensed that Mrs. Ellison was not at all happy with Mr. Booth. Through some comments she made during their conversation, Amelia became very worried that Mrs. Ellison suspected something about her husband's true discomfort. That lady openly stated that she couldn't help but notice what kind of man Mr. Booth was: “And although I have the highest regard for you, ma’am, in the world,” she said, “I feel morally obliged not to deceive his lordship, who I know very well has developed a strong fondness for the captain ever since I told him that he was the best husband in the world.”

Amelia’s fears gave her much disturbance, and when her husband returned she acquainted him with them; upon which occasion, as it was natural, she resumed a little the topic of their former discourse, nor could she help casting, though in very gentle terms, some slight blame on Booth for having entertained a suspicion which, she said, might in its consequence very possibly prove their ruin, and occasion the loss of his lordship’s friendship.

Amelia’s fears troubled her a lot, and when her husband came back, she shared them with him. During this conversation, naturally, she brought up parts of their previous discussion again, and she couldn't help but gently place a bit of blame on Booth for having had a suspicion that, she argued, could potentially lead to their downfall and cost them the friendship of his lordship.

Booth became highly affected with what his wife said, and the more, as he had just received a note from Colonel James, informing him that the colonel had heard of a vacant company in the regiment which Booth had mentioned to him, and that he had been with his lordship about it, who had promised to use his utmost interest to obtain him the command.

Booth was deeply impacted by what his wife said, especially since he had just received a note from Colonel James. The note informed him that the colonel had heard about a vacant company in the regiment that Booth had mentioned, and that he had spoken to his lordship about it, who promised to do everything he could to help Booth get the command.

The poor man now exprest the utmost concern for his yesterday’s behaviour, said “he believed the devil had taken possession of him,” and concluded with crying out, “Sure I was born, my dearest creature, to be your torment.”

The poor man now expressed the greatest concern for his behavior yesterday, said “he believed the devil had taken over him,” and finished by crying out, “I must have been born, my dearest creature, to be your torment.”

Amelia no sooner saw her husband’s distress than she instantly forbore whatever might seem likely to aggravate it, and applied herself, with all her power, to comfort him. “If you will give me leave to offer my advice, my dearest soul,” said she, “I think all might yet be remedied. I think you know me too well to suspect that the desire of diversion should induce me to mention what I am now going to propose; and in that confidence I will ask you to let me accept my lord’s and Mrs. Ellison’s offer, and go to the masquerade. No matter how little while I stay there; if you desire it I will not be an hour from you. I can make an hundred excuses to come home, or tell a real truth, and say I am tired with the place. The bare going will cure everything.”

Amelia immediately noticed her husband’s distress and quickly stopped anything that might make it worse, focusing all her energy on comforting him. “If you’ll allow me to offer my advice, my dearest,” she said, “I believe everything can still be fixed. You know me well enough not to think that I would suggest this just out of a need for distraction, so with that trust, I’ll ask you to let me accept my lord’s and Mrs. Ellison’s invitation to the masquerade. It doesn’t matter how little time I spend there; if you want, I won’t be away from you for more than an hour. I can come up with a hundred excuses to come back home, or I can simply say I’m tired of the place. Just going there will solve everything.”

Amelia had no sooner done speaking than Booth immediately approved her advice, and readily gave his consent. He could not, however, help saying, that the shorter her stay was there, the more agreeable it would be to him; “for you know, my dear,” said he, “I would never willingly be a moment out of your sight.”

Amelia had just finished speaking when Booth quickly agreed with her advice and gave his consent. However, he couldn’t help but mention that the shorter her visit was, the more pleasant it would be for him; “You know, my dear,” he said, “I would never want to be out of your sight for a second.”

In the afternoon Amelia sent to invite Mrs. Ellison to a dish of tea; and Booth undertook to laugh off all that had passed yesterday, in which attempt the abundant good humour of that lady gave him great hopes of success.

In the afternoon, Amelia invited Mrs. Ellison over for tea; and Booth aimed to downplay everything that happened yesterday. He felt optimistic about his chances because of the lady's cheerful demeanor.

Mrs. Bennet came that afternoon to make a visit, and was almost an hour with Booth and Amelia before the entry of Mrs. Ellison.

Mrs. Bennet came by that afternoon for a visit and spent nearly an hour with Booth and Amelia before Mrs. Ellison arrived.

Mr. Booth had hitherto rather disliked this young lady, and had wondered at the pleasure which Amelia declared she took in her company. This afternoon, however, he changed his opinion, and liked her almost as much as his wife had done. She did indeed behave at this time with more than ordinary gaiety; and good humour gave a glow to her countenance that set off her features, which were very pretty, to the best advantage, and lessened the deadness that had usually appeared in her complexion.

Mr. Booth had previously disliked this young woman and had questioned Amelia's enjoyment of her company. However, this afternoon, he changed his mind and liked her nearly as much as his wife did. She was indeed acting with unusual cheerfulness; her good humor lit up her face, highlighting her very pretty features and reducing the dullness that usually showed in her complexion.

But if Booth was now pleased with Mrs. Bennet, Amelia was still more pleased with her than ever. For, when their discourse turned on love, Amelia discovered that her new friend had all the same sentiments on that subject with herself. In the course of their conversation Booth gave Mrs. Bennet a hint of wishing her a good husband, upon which both the ladies declaimed against second marriages with equal vehemence.

But if Booth was now happy with Mrs. Bennet, Amelia was even happier with her than ever. When their conversation shifted to love, Amelia found out that her new friend shared all the same feelings about it. During their chat, Booth hinted to Mrs. Bennet that he hoped she would find a good husband, which led both ladies to passionately argue against second marriages.

Upon this occasion Booth and his wife discovered a talent in their visitant to which they had been before entirely strangers, and for which they both greatly admired her, and this was, that the lady was a good scholar, in which, indeed, she had the advantage of poor Amelia, whose reading was confined to English plays and poetry; besides which, I think she had conversed only with the divinity of the great and learned Dr Barrow, and with the histories of the excellent Bishop Burnet.

Upon this occasion, Booth and his wife discovered a talent in their visitor that they had previously been completely unaware of, and this was something they greatly admired in her: she was a good scholar. In fact, this gave her an advantage over poor Amelia, whose reading was limited to English plays and poetry. Besides that, I believe she had only talked with the great and learned Dr. Barrow and read the histories of the excellent Bishop Burnet.

Amelia delivered herself on the subject of second marriages with much eloquence and great good sense; but when Mrs. Bennet came to give her opinion she spoke in the following manner: “I shall not enter into the question concerning the legality of bigamy. Our laws certainly allow it, and so, I think, doth our religion. We are now debating only on the decency of it, and in this light I own myself as strenuous an advocate against it as any Roman matron would have been in those ages of the commonwealth when it was held to be infamous. For my own part, how great a paradox soever my opinion may seem, I solemnly declare, I see but little difference between having two husbands at one time and at several times; and of this I am very confident, that the same degree of love for a first husband which preserves a woman in the one case will preserve her in the other. There is one argument which I scarce know how to deliver before you, sir; but—if a woman hath lived with her first husband without having children, I think it unpardonable in her to carry barrenness into a second family. On the contrary, if she hath children by her first husband, to give them a second father is still more unpardonable.”

Amelia spoke passionately and sensibly about second marriages, but when Mrs. Bennet shared her thoughts, she said: “I won’t get into the legal aspects of bigamy. Our laws certainly allow it, and so does our religion, I believe. We're only discussing whether it's decent or not, and in that regard, I firmly stand against it, just as any Roman matron would have in the times when it was considered disgraceful. Personally, no matter how contradictory my view may seem, I solemnly declare that I see very little difference between having two husbands at the same time and having multiple husbands at different times; and I'm very sure that the same level of love for a first husband that keeps a woman faithful in one case will do the same in the other. There’s one point I hardly know how to express in front of you, sir; but—if a woman has lived with her first husband without having children, I think it’s unforgivable for her to bring her barrenness into a second marriage. On the other hand, if she has children with her first husband, giving them a second father is even more unforgivable.”

“But suppose, madam,” cries Booth, interrupting her with a smile, “she should have had children by her first husband, and have lost them?”

“But suppose, ma'am,” Booth interrupts her with a smile, “what if she had children with her first husband and lost them?”

“That is a case,” answered she, with a sigh, “which I did not desire to think of, and I must own it the most favourable light in which a second marriage can be seen. But the Scriptures, as Petrarch observes, rather suffer them than commend them; and St Jerom speaks against them with the utmost bitterness.”—“I remember,” cries Booth (who was willing either to shew his learning, or to draw out the lady’s), “a very wise law of Charondas, the famous lawgiver of Thurium, by which men who married a second time were removed from all public councils; for it was scarce reasonable to suppose that he who was so great a fool in his own family should be wise in public affairs. And though second marriages were permitted among the Romans, yet they were at the same time discouraged, and those Roman widows who refused them were held in high esteem, and honoured with what Valerius Maximus calls the Corona Pudicitiae. In the noble family of Camilli there was not, in many ages, a single instance of this, which Martial calls adultery:

"That's a situation," she replied with a sigh, "that I didn’t want to think about, and I'll admit it's the most favorable way to look at a second marriage. But the Scriptures, as Petrarch points out, seem to tolerate them rather than endorse them; and St. Jerome speaks against them very harshly." — "I recall," Booth interjected (keen to show off his knowledge or to get her to elaborate), "a wise law from Charondas, the famous lawmaker of Thurium, which stated that men who remarried were excluded from all public councils; it wasn't reasonable to think that someone who was such a fool in their own home would be wise in public matters. And while second marriages were allowed among the Romans, they were also looked down upon, and those Roman widows who chose not to remarry were highly respected and honored with what Valerius Maximus called the Corona Pudicitiae. In the noble family of the Camilli, there was not a single instance of this, which Martial refers to as adultery:"

    Quae toties nubit, non nubit; adultera lege est.”
She marries so many times, yet doesn’t truly marry; she is an adulteress by law.

“True, sir,” says Mrs. Bennet, “and Virgil calls this a violation of chastity, and makes Dido speak of it with the utmost detestation:

“True, sir,” says Mrs. Bennet, “and Virgil refers to this as a breach of chastity and makes Dido talk about it with the highest contempt:

     Sed mihi vel Tellus optem prius ima dehiscat
     Vel Pater omnipotens adigat me fulmine ad umbras,
     Pallentes umbras Erebi, noctemque profundam,
     Ante, fudor, quam te violo, aut tua jura resolvo.
     Ille meos, primum qui me sibi junxit, amores,
     Ille habeat semper secum, servetque Sepulchro.”
But I would rather the Earth split open beneath me or the all-powerful Father strike me down with lightning into the shadows, the pale shadows of the underworld, and the deep night, than defile you or break your rights. Let him, who first bound my loves to himself, keep them with him always and guard them in the grave.

She repeated these lines with so strong an emphasis, that she almost frightened Amelia out of her wits, and not a little staggered Booth, who was himself no contemptible scholar. He expressed great admiration of the lady’s learning; upon which she said it was all the fortune given her by her father, and all the dower left her by her husband; “and sometimes,” said she, “I am inclined to think I enjoy more pleasure from it than if they had bestowed on me what the world would in general call more valuable.”—She then took occasion, from the surprize which Booth had affected to conceive at her repeating Latin with so good a grace, to comment on that great absurdity (for so she termed it) of excluding women from learning; for which they were equally qualified with the men, and in which so many had made so notable a proficiency; for a proof of which she mentioned Madam Dacier, and many others.

She repeated these lines with such strong emphasis that she nearly scared Amelia out of her wits, and it definitely caught Booth off guard, even though he was quite knowledgeable himself. He expressed a lot of admiration for the lady's intelligence, to which she replied that it was all the fortune her father had given her and all the inheritance left by her husband; “and sometimes,” she added, “I think I enjoy it more than if they had given me what the world usually considers more valuable.” She then took the opportunity, due to Booth's apparent surprise at her eloquence in Latin, to comment on the ridiculousness (as she called it) of excluding women from education, as they are equally capable as men, and so many have excelled in it. To prove her point, she mentioned Madam Dacier and many others.

Though both Booth and Amelia outwardly concurred with her sentiments, it may be a question whether they did not assent rather out of complaisance than from their real judgment.

Although both Booth and Amelia appeared to agree with her feelings, it's questionable whether they were truly in agreement or just being polite.










Chapter viii. — Containing some unaccountable behaviour in Mrs. Ellison.

Mrs. Ellison made her entrance at the end of the preceding discourse. At her first appearance she put on an unusual degree of formality and reserve; but when Amelia had acquainted her that she designed to accept the favour intended her, she soon began to alter the gravity of her muscles, and presently fell in with that ridicule which Booth thought proper to throw on his yesterday’s behaviour.

Mrs. Ellison walked in at the end of the previous conversation. At first, she acted with an unusual level of formality and reserve; however, when Amelia informed her that she intended to accept the favor being offered, she quickly started to relax and eventually joined in on the teasing that Booth thought was appropriate regarding his behavior from the day before.

The conversation now became very lively and pleasant, in which Booth having mentioned the discourse that passed in the last chapter, and having greatly complimented Mrs. Bennet’s speech on that occasion, Mrs. Ellison, who was as strenuous an advocate on the other side, began to rally that lady extremely, declaring it was a certain sign she intended to marry again soon. “Married ladies,” cries she, “I believe, sometimes think themselves in earnest in such declarations, though they are oftener perhaps meant as compliments to their husbands; but, when widows exclaim loudly against second marriages, I would always lay a wager that the man, if not the wedding-day, is absolutely fixed on.”

The conversation became really lively and enjoyable. Booth brought up the discussion from the last chapter and praised Mrs. Bennet’s speech during that time. Mrs. Ellison, who was a strong supporter of the opposite view, started to tease Mrs. Bennet, saying it was a sure sign she planned to remarry soon. “Married women,” she said, “sometimes genuinely believe they mean what they say, though more often it’s just flattery for their husbands. But when widows loudly criticize second marriages, I’d bet money that the man—if not the wedding date—is definitely set.”

Mrs. Bennet made very little answer to this sarcasm. Indeed, she had scarce opened her lips from the time of Mrs. Ellison’s coming into the room, and had grown particularly grave at the mention of the masquerade. Amelia imputed this to her being left out of the party, a matter which is often no small mortification to human pride, and in a whisper asked Mrs. Ellison if she could not procure a third ticket, to which she received an absolute negative.

Mrs. Bennet barely responded to this sarcasm. In fact, she hadn't spoken since Mrs. Ellison entered the room and had become especially serious at the mention of the masquerade. Amelia thought this was because Mrs. Bennet was excluded from the party, which can be a significant blow to anyone's pride, and she quietly asked Mrs. Ellison if she could get a third ticket. Mrs. Ellison firmly said no.

During the whole time of Mrs. Bennet’s stay, which was above an hour afterwards, she remained perfectly silent, and looked extremely melancholy. This made Amelia very uneasy, as she concluded she had guessed the cause of her vexation. In which opinion she was the more confirmed from certain looks of no very pleasant kind which Mrs. Bennet now and then cast on Mrs. Ellison, and the more than ordinary concern that appeared in the former lady’s countenance whenever the masquerade was mentioned, and which; unfortunately, was the principal topic of their discourse; for Mrs. Ellison gave a very elaborate description of the extreme beauty of the place and elegance of the diversion.

During Mrs. Bennet’s visit, which lasted over an hour, she stayed completely silent and looked really sad. This made Amelia very anxious, as she thought she had figured out the reason for her distress. Amelia felt even more sure of her guess because of the unpleasant glances Mrs. Bennet occasionally sent toward Mrs. Ellison, and the unusual worry that showed on Mrs. Bennet’s face whenever the masquerade came up, which was unfortunately the main topic of their conversation; Mrs. Ellison provided a detailed description of the stunning beauty of the venue and the elegance of the event.

When Mrs. Bennet was departed, Amelia could not help again soliciting Mrs. Ellison for another ticket, declaring she was certain Mrs. Bennet had a great inclination to go with them; but Mrs. Ellison again excused herself from asking it of his lordship. “Besides, madam,” says she, “if I would go thither with Mrs. Bennet, which, I own to you, I don’t chuse, as she is a person whom nobody knows, I very much doubt whether she herself would like it; for she is a woman of a very unaccountable turn. All her delight lies in books; and as for public diversions, I have heard her often declare her abhorrence of them.”

When Mrs. Bennet left, Amelia couldn’t resist asking Mrs. Ellison for another ticket, insisting that she was sure Mrs. Bennet really wanted to go with them. But Mrs. Ellison again said she couldn’t ask his lordship for it. “Besides, ma’am,” she said, “if I were to go there with Mrs. Bennet, which I’ll be honest, I don’t want to do since she’s someone nobody knows, I really doubt she’d even enjoy it; she has such an unpredictable nature. All her joy comes from books, and when it comes to public events, I’ve often heard her express her dislike for them.”

“What then,” said Amelia, “could occasion all that gravity from the moment the masquerade was mentioned?”

“What’s going on,” said Amelia, “that made everyone so serious when the masquerade was brought up?”

“As to that,” answered the other, “there is no guessing. You have seen her altogether as grave before now. She hath had these fits of gravity at times ever since the death of her husband.”

“As for that,” replied the other, “there’s no guessing. You’ve seen her be this serious before. She’s had these bouts of seriousness ever since her husband passed away.”

“Poor creature!” cries Amelia; “I heartily pity her, for she must certainly suffer a great deal on these occasions. I declare I have taken a strange fancy to her.”

“Poor thing!” Amelia exclaims; “I really feel for her, because she must be going through a lot in these situations. I have to say I’ve developed a strange fondness for her.”

“Perhaps you would not like her so well if you knew her thoroughly,” answered Mrs. Ellison.—“She is, upon the whole, but of a whimsical temper; and, if you will take my opinion, you should not cultivate too much intimacy with her. I know you will never mention what I say; but she is like some pictures, which please best at a distance.”

“Maybe you wouldn’t like her as much if you really knew her,” replied Mrs. Ellison. “She has a bit of a quirky temperament, and if you want my honest opinion, you shouldn’t get too close to her. I trust you won’t mention what I said, but she’s like some artwork that looks better from afar.”

Amelia did not seem to agree with these sentiments, and she greatly importuned Mrs. Ellison to be more explicit, but to no purpose; she continued to give only dark hints to Mrs. Bennet’s disadvantage; and, if ever she let drop something a little too harsh, she failed not immediately to contradict herself by throwing some gentle commendations into the other scale; so that her conduct appeared utterly unaccountable to Amelia, and, upon the whole, she knew not whether to conclude Mrs. Ellison to be a friend or enemy to Mrs. Bennet.

Amelia didn’t seem to share these views and pressed Mrs. Ellison for more clarity, but it was pointless; she only offered vague hints that made Mrs. Bennet look bad. Whenever she said something a bit too harsh, she quickly contradicted herself by adding some kind words to balance it out. This made her behavior completely confusing for Amelia, and overall, she was unsure whether to see Mrs. Ellison as a friend or an enemy to Mrs. Bennet.

During this latter conversation Booth was not in the room, for he had been summoned down-stairs by the serjeant, who came to him with news from Murphy, whom he had met that evening, and who assured the serjeant that, if he was desirous of recovering the debt which he had before pretended to have on Booth, he might shortly have an opportunity, for that there was to be a very strong petition to the board the next time they sat. Murphy said further that he need not fear having his money, for that, to his certain knowledge, the captain had several things of great value, and even his children had gold watches.

During this later conversation, Booth was not in the room because he had been called downstairs by the sergeant. The sergeant had news from Murphy, whom he had met that evening. Murphy assured the sergeant that if he wanted to collect the debt he had previously claimed Booth owed him, he could soon have a chance, as there would be a strong petition to the board the next time they met. Murphy added that the sergeant didn’t need to worry about getting his money back because, to his knowledge, the captain had several valuable items, and even his children had gold watches.

This greatly alarmed Booth, and still more when the serjeant reported to him, from Murphy, that all these things had been seen in his possession within a day last past. He now plainly perceived, as he thought, that Murphy himself, or one of his emissaries, had been the supposed madman; and he now very well accounted to himself, in his own mind, for all that had happened, conceiving that the design was to examine into the state of his effects, and to try whether it was worth his creditors’ while to plunder him by law.

This really worried Booth, especially when the sergeant told him, from Murphy, that all these things had been seen in his possession within the last day. He now clearly figured, as he believed, that Murphy himself or one of his agents had been the supposed madman. He had come to understand, in his own mind, everything that had happened, thinking that the plan was to look into the state of his assets and see whether it was worth it for his creditors to take legal action against him.

At his return to his apartment he communicated what he had heard to Amelia and Mrs. Ellison, not disguising his apprehensions of the enemy’s intentions; but Mrs. Ellison endeavoured to laugh him out of his fears, calling him faint-hearted, and assuring him he might depend on her lawyer. “Till you hear from him,” said she, “you may rest entirely contented: for, take my word for it, no danger can happen to you of which you will not be timely apprized by him. And as for the fellow that had the impudence to come into your room, if he was sent on such an errand as you mention, I heartily wish I had been at home; I would have secured him safe with a constable, and have carried him directly before justice Thresher. I know the justice is an enemy to bailiffs on his own account.”

When he got back to his apartment, he shared what he had heard with Amelia and Mrs. Ellison, not hiding his concerns about the enemy’s intentions. But Mrs. Ellison tried to laugh off his fears, calling him timid and assuring him he could rely on her lawyer. “Until you hear from him,” she said, “you can feel completely at ease. Trust me, no harm will come to you without him warning you in advance. And as for the guy who had the audacity to come into your room, if he was sent for the reason you mentioned, I really wish I had been home; I would have had him arrested and taken straight to Justice Thresher. I know the justice doesn’t like bailiffs himself.”

This heartening speech a little roused the courage of Booth, and somewhat comforted Amelia, though the spirits of both had been too much hurried to suffer them either to give or receive much entertainment that evening; which Mrs. Ellison perceiving soon took her leave, and left this unhappy couple to seek relief from sleep, that powerful friend to the distrest, though, like other powerful friends, he is not always ready to give his assistance to those who want it most.

This uplifting speech lifted Booth's spirits a bit and provided some comfort to Amelia, although both of them were too overwhelmed to fully engage in anything enjoyable that evening. Noticing this, Mrs. Ellison soon said her goodbyes, leaving the troubled couple to find solace in sleep, that powerful ally for those in distress, even though, like other strong allies, he isn't always available to help those who need it the most.










Chapter ix. — Containing a very strange incident.

When the husband and wife were alone they again talked over the news which the serjeant had brought; on which occasion Amelia did all she could to conceal her own fears, and to quiet those of her husband. At last she turned the conversation to another subject, and poor Mrs. Bennet was brought on the carpet. “I should be sorry,” cries Amelia, “to find I had conceived an affection for a bad woman; and yet I begin to fear Mrs. Ellison knows something of her more than she cares to discover; why else should she be unwilling to be seen with her in public? Besides, I have observed that Mrs. Ellison hath been always backward to introduce her to me, nor would ever bring her to my apartment, though I have often desired her. Nay, she hath given me frequent hints not to cultivate the acquaintance. What do you think, my dear? I should be very sorry to contract an intimacy with a wicked person.”

When the husband and wife were alone, they discussed the news that the sergeant had brought. During this time, Amelia did everything she could to hide her own fears and calm her husband’s. Eventually, she changed the subject to something else, and poor Mrs. Bennet came up. “I would be upset,” Amelia said, “to find out that I had developed feelings for a bad woman; yet I’m starting to worry that Mrs. Ellison knows more about her than she’s willing to let on—otherwise, why wouldn’t she want to be seen with her in public? Also, I’ve noticed that Mrs. Ellison has always been hesitant to introduce her to me and has never brought her to my place, even though I’ve asked her to several times. In fact, she’s often hinted that I shouldn’t pursue a friendship with her. What do you think, my dear? I would be very sorry to form a connection with an evil person.”

“Nay, my dear,” cries Booth. “I know no more of her, nor indeed hardly so much as yourself. But this I think, that if Mrs. Ellison knows any reason why she should not have introduced Mrs. Bennet into your company, she was very much in the wrong in introducing her into it.”

“Nah, my dear,” Booth exclaims. “I know no more about her, and honestly, not much more than I do about you. But I think that if Mrs. Ellison knows of any reason why she shouldn't have introduced Mrs. Bennet to you, then she really messed up by bringing her into it.”

In discourses of this kind they past the remainder of the evening. In the morning Booth rose early, and, going down-stairs, received from little Betty a sealed note, which contained the following words:

In conversations like these, they spent the rest of the evening. In the morning, Booth got up early and, going downstairs, received a sealed note from little Betty, which contained the following words:

     Beware, beware, beware;
     For I apprehend a dreadful snare
     Is laid for virtuous innocence,
     Under a friend’s false pretence.
     Beware, beware, beware;  
     For I sense a terrible trap  
     Is set for pure innocence,  
     Under a friend’s false pretense.

Booth immediately enquired of the girl who brought this note? and was told it came by a chair-man, who, having delivered it, departed without saying a word.

Booth immediately asked the girl who brought the note, and she replied that it came by a chair-man, who, after delivering it, left without saying a word.

He was extremely staggered at what he read, and presently referred the advice to the same affair on which he had received those hints from Atkinson the preceding evening; but when he came to consider the words more maturely he could not so well reconcile the two last lines of this poetical epistle, if it may be so called, with any danger which the law gave him reason to apprehend. Mr. Murphy and his gang could not well be said to attack either his innocence or virtue; nor did they attack him under any colour or pretence of friendship.

He was completely shocked by what he read, and soon connected the advice to the same situation where he had received hints from Atkinson the night before. However, as he thought more deeply about the words, he found it difficult to align the last two lines of this so-called poetic letter with any danger he had to fear from the law. Mr. Murphy and his group didn't really seem to challenge either his innocence or his integrity; nor did they approach him under any guise of friendship.

After much deliberation on this matter a very strange suspicion came into his head; and this was, that he was betrayed by Mrs. Ellison. He had, for some time, conceived no very high opinion of that good gentlewoman, and he now began to suspect that she was bribed to betray him. By this means he thought he could best account for the strange appearance of the supposed madman. And when this conceit once had birth in his mind, several circumstances nourished and improved it. Among these were her jocose behaviour and raillery on that occasion, and her attempt to ridicule his fears from the message which the serjeant had brought him.

After thinking it over a lot, a really strange suspicion popped into his mind: that Mrs. Ellison had betrayed him. He hadn’t thought very highly of her for a while, and now he started to wonder if she’d been paid to sell him out. He figured this was the best explanation for the weird behavior of the so-called madman. Once this idea took hold, several things helped to strengthen it. These included her joking attitude and teasing during that time, as well as her effort to make fun of his concerns about the message the sergeant had brought him.

This suspicion was indeed preposterous, and not at all warranted by, or even consistent with, the character and whole behaviour of Mrs. Ellison, but it was the only one which at that time suggested itself to his mind; and, however blameable it might be, it was certainly not unnatural in him to entertain it; for so great a torment is anxiety to the human mind, that we always endeavour to relieve ourselves from it by guesses, however doubtful or uncertain; on all which occasions, dislike and hatred are the surest guides to lead our suspicion to its object.

This suspicion was truly ridiculous and not at all justified by, or even consistent with, Mrs. Ellison's character and behavior. However, it was the only thought that came to his mind at that moment. And while it might have been wrong, it wasn't unnatural for him to have it; anxiety is such a burden on the human mind that we always try to relieve ourselves from it with guesses, no matter how uncertain they may be. In these situations, dislike and hatred often end up guiding our suspicions.

When Amelia rose to breakfast, Booth produced the note which he had received, saying, “My dear, you have so often blamed me for keeping secrets from you, and I have so often, indeed, endeavoured to conceal secrets of this kind from you with such ill success, that I think I shall never more attempt it.” Amelia read the letter hastily, and seemed not a little discomposed; then, turning to Booth with a very disconsolate countenance, she said, “Sure fortune takes a delight in terrifying us! what can be the meaning of this?” Then, fixing her eyes attentively on the paper, she perused it for some time, till Booth cried, “How is it possible, my Emily, you can read such stuff patiently? the verses are certainly as bad as ever were written.”—“I was trying, my dear,” answered she, “to recollect the hand; for I will take my oath I have seen it before, and that very lately;” and suddenly she cried out, with great emotion, “I remember it perfectly now; it is Mrs. Bennet’s hand. Mrs. Ellison shewed me a letter from her but a day or two ago. It is a very remarkable hand, and I am positive it is hers.”

When Amelia got up for breakfast, Booth produced the note he had received, saying, “My dear, you’ve frequently criticized me for keeping secrets from you, and I’ve often tried to hide secrets like this from you without much success, so I don’t think I’ll try again.” Amelia read the letter quickly and looked visibly upset; then, turning to Booth with a very sad expression, she said, “It seems fortune enjoys scaring us! What does this mean?” Then, focusing intently on the paper, she read it for a while until Booth exclaimed, “How is it possible, my Emily, that you can read such nonsense calmly? The verses are certainly as awful as anything ever written.” —“I was trying, my dear,” she replied, “to remember the handwriting; I swear I’ve seen it before, and quite recently.” Suddenly, she exclaimed, filled with strong emotion, “I remember it perfectly now; it’s Mrs. Bennet’s handwriting. Mrs. Ellison showed me a letter from her just a day or two ago. It’s a very distinctive handwriting, and I’m sure it’s hers.”

“If it be hers,” cries Booth, “what can she possibly mean by the latter part of her caution? sure Mrs. Ellison hath no intention to betray us.”

“If it’s hers,” Booth exclaims, “what could she possibly mean by the second part of her warning? Surely Mrs. Ellison has no intention of betraying us.”

“I know not what she means,” answered Amelia, “but I am resolved to know immediately, for I am certain of the hand. By the greatest luck in the world, she told me yesterday where her lodgings were, when she pressed me exceedingly to come and see her. She lives but a very few doors from us, and I will go to her this moment.”

“I don't know what she means,” answered Amelia, “but I'm determined to find out right away, because I recognize the handwriting. By the greatest luck, she told me yesterday where she was staying when she really urged me to come visit her. She lives just a few doors down from us, and I'm going to see her right now.”

Booth made not the least objection to his wife’s design. His curiosity was, indeed, as great as hers, and so was his impatience to satisfy it, though he mentioned not this his impatience to Amelia; and perhaps it had been well for him if he had.

Booth had no objections to his wife's plan. His curiosity was just as strong as hers, and so was his eagerness to satisfy it, although he didn't mention this eagerness to Amelia; and maybe it would have been better for him if he had.

Amelia, therefore, presently equipped herself in her walking dress, and, leaving her children to the care of her husband, made all possible haste to Mrs. Bennet’s lodgings.

Amelia quickly got dressed in her walking outfit and, leaving her kids with her husband, rushed over to Mrs. Bennet’s place.

Amelia waited near five minutes at Mrs. Bennet’s door before any one came to open it; at length a maid servant appeared, who, being asked if Mrs. Bennet was at home, answered, with some confusion in her countenance, that she did not know; “but, madam,” said she, “if you will send up your name, I will go and see.” Amelia then told her name, and the wench, after staying a considerable time, returned and acquainted her that Mrs. Bennet was at home. She was then ushered into a parlour and told that the lady would wait on her presently.

Amelia waited about five minutes at Mrs. Bennet’s door before anyone came to answer it. Finally, a maid appeared who, when asked if Mrs. Bennet was at home, looked a bit confused and replied that she didn’t know. “But, ma'am,” she said, “if you give me your name, I’ll go check.” Amelia shared her name, and after a while, the maid came back to inform her that Mrs. Bennet was indeed at home. She was then shown into a lounge and told that the lady would see her shortly.

In this parlour Amelia cooled her heels, as the phrase is, near a quarter of an hour. She seemed, indeed, at this time, in the miserable situation of one of those poor wretches who make their morning visits to the great to solicit favours, or perhaps to solicit the payment of a debt, for both are alike treated as beggars, and the latter sometimes considered as the more troublesome beggars of the two.

In this parlor, Amelia waited impatiently for about fifteen minutes. At that moment, she truly seemed like one of those unfortunate souls who pay morning calls on the wealthy to ask for favors, or maybe to request the payment of a debt, since both are treated like beggars, and the latter is sometimes seen as the more annoying of the two.

During her stay here, Amelia observed the house to be in great confusion; a great bustle was heard above-stairs, and the maid ran up and down several times in a great hurry.

During her time here, Amelia noticed the house was in a lot of chaos; there was a lot of commotion upstairs, and the maid hurried up and down several times.

At length Mrs. Bennet herself came in. She was greatly disordered in her looks, and had, as the women call it, huddled on her cloaths in much haste; for, in truth, she was in bed when Amelia first came. Of this fact she informed her, as the only apology she could make for having caused her to wait so long for her company.

At last, Mrs. Bennet came in. She looked quite flustered and had, as women say, thrown on her clothes in a rush; because, to be honest, she was in bed when Amelia first arrived. She let Amelia know this as the only excuse she could give for making her wait so long for her company.

Amelia very readily accepted her apology, but asked her with a smile, if these early hours were usual with her? Mrs. Bennet turned as red as scarlet at the question, and answered, “No, indeed, dear madam. I am for the most part a very early riser; but I happened accidentally to sit up very late last night. I am sure I had little expectation of your intending me such a favour this morning.”

Amelia quickly accepted her apology but smiled and asked her if these early hours were normal for her. Mrs. Bennet turned as red as a tomato at the question and replied, “Not at all, dear madam. Usually, I wake up very early, but I happened to stay up quite late last night. I definitely didn’t expect you to do me such a favor this morning.”

Amelia, looking very steadfastly at her, said, “Is it possible, madam, you should think such a note as this would raise no curiosity in me?” She then gave her the note, asking her if she did not know the hand.

Amelia, gazing intently at her, said, “Is it really possible, ma’am, that you think a note like this wouldn’t spark any curiosity in me?” She then handed her the note, asking if she didn’t recognize the handwriting.

Mrs. Bennet appeared in the utmost surprize and confusion at this instant. Indeed, if Amelia had conceived but the slightest suspicion before, the behaviour of the lady would have been a sufficient confirmation to her of the truth. She waited not, therefore, for an answer, which, indeed, the other seemed in no haste to give, but conjured her in the most earnest manner to explain to her the meaning of so extraordinary an act of friendship; “for so,” said she, “I esteem it, being convinced you must have sufficient reason for the warning you have given me.”

Mrs. Bennet looked completely surprised and confused at that moment. If Amelia had had even the slightest suspicion before, the lady's behavior would have confirmed the truth for her. So, she didn't wait for an answer, which the other seemed in no hurry to provide, but urgently urged her to explain such an extraordinary act of friendship; “because,” she said, “I see it as such, being convinced you must have a good reason for the warning you’ve given me.”

Mrs. Bennet, after some hesitation, answered, “I need not, I believe, tell you how much I am surprized at what you have shewn me; and the chief reason of my surprize is, how you came to discover my hand. Sure, madam, you have not shewn it to Mrs. Ellison?”

Mrs. Bennet, after some hesitation, answered, “I don't think I need to tell you how surprised I am by what you've shown me; and the main reason for my surprise is how you found out about my handwriting. Surely, madam, you haven't shown it to Mrs. Ellison?”

Amelia declared she had not, but desired she would question her no farther. “What signifies how I discovered it, since your hand it certainly is?”

Amelia said she hadn't, but wished that she wouldn't be asked any more questions. “What does it matter how I found out, since it's definitely your handwriting?”

“I own it is,” cries Mrs. Bennet, recovering her spirits, “and since you have not shewn it to that woman I am satisfied. I begin to guess now whence you might have your information; but no matter; I wish I had never done anything of which I ought to be more ashamed. No one can, I think, justly accuse me of a crime on that account; and I thank Heaven my shame will never be directed by the false opinion of the world. Perhaps it was wrong to shew my letter, but when I consider all circumstances I can forgive it.”

“I admit it,” Mrs. Bennet exclaims, regaining her composure. “And since you didn’t show it to that woman, I’m okay with it. I’m starting to figure out where you might have gotten your information; but that’s not important. I wish I had never done anything I should be more ashamed of. I don’t think anyone can rightfully accuse me of a crime because of that, and I thank Heaven that my shame will never be influenced by what others think. Maybe it was wrong to show my letter, but considering everything, I can forgive it.”

“Since you have guessed the truth,” said Amelia, “I am not obliged to deny it. She, indeed, shewed me your letter, but I am sure you have not the least reason to be ashamed of it. On the contrary, your behaviour on so melancholy an occasion was highly praiseworthy; and your bearing up under such afflictions as the loss of a husband in so dreadful a situation was truly great and heroical.”

“Since you’ve figured out the truth,” Amelia said, “I don’t have to deny it. Yes, she showed me your letter, but you really have no reason to be ashamed of it. In fact, your behavior during such a sad time was really commendable; and the way you managed to cope with the hardship of losing a husband in such a terrible situation was truly admirable and courageous.”

“So Mrs. Ellison then hath shewn you my letter?” cries Mrs. Bennet eagerly.

“So Mrs. Ellison has shown you my letter?” exclaims Mrs. Bennet eagerly.

“Why, did not you guess it yourself?” answered Amelia; “otherwise I am sure I have betrayed my honour in mentioning it. I hope you have not drawn me inadvertently into any breach of my promise. Did you not assert, and that with an absolute certainty, that you knew she had shewn me your letter, and that you was not angry with her for so doing?”

“Why, didn’t you figure it out yourself?” Amelia replied. “If not, I’m afraid I’ve compromised my honor by bringing it up. I hope you didn’t accidentally put me in a position where I’m breaking my promise. Didn’t you say, with complete certainty, that you knew she had shown me your letter and that you weren’t upset with her for doing that?”

“I am so confused,” replied Mrs. Bennet, “that I scarce know what I say; yes, yes, I remember I did say so—I wish I had no greater reason to be angry with her than that.”

“I’m so confused,” replied Mrs. Bennet, “that I barely know what I’m saying; yes, yes, I remember I said that—I wish I had no better reason to be angry with her than that.”

“For Heaven’s sake,” cries Amelia, “do not delay my request any longer; what you say now greatly increases my curiosity, and my mind will be on the rack till you discover your whole meaning; for I am more and more convinced that something of the utmost importance was the purport of your message.”

“For heaven’s sake,” Amelia exclaims, “please don’t keep me waiting any longer; what you’re saying now just makes me more curious, and I’ll be on edge until you reveal everything you mean; I’m increasingly convinced that there’s something very important behind your message.”

“Of the utmost importance, indeed,” cries Mrs. Bennet; “at least you will own my apprehensions were sufficiently well founded. O gracious Heaven! how happy shall I think myself if I should have proved your preservation! I will, indeed, explain my meaning; but, in order to disclose all my fears in their just colours, I must unfold my whole history to you. Can you have patience, madam, to listen to the story of the most unfortunate of women?”

“It's incredibly important, truly,” Mrs. Bennet exclaims; “at least you have to admit my worries were completely justified. Oh, dear God! I'll be so happy if I can say I helped save you! I will, of course, explain what I mean; but to share all my fears accurately, I need to tell you my whole story. Can you have the patience, madam, to hear the tale of the most unfortunate woman?”

Amelia assured her of the highest attention, and Mrs. Bennet soon after began to relate what is written in the seventh book of this history.

Amelia promised her the utmost attention, and Mrs. Bennet quickly started to share what is written in the seventh book of this story.










BOOK VII.










Chapter i. — A very short chapter, and consequently requiring no preface.

Mrs. Bennet having fastened the door, and both the ladies having taken their places, she once or twice offered to speak, when passion stopt her utterance; and, after a minute’s silence, she burst into a flood of tears. Upon which Amelia, expressing the utmost tenderness for her, as well by her look as by her accent, cried, “What can be the reason, dear madam, of all this emotion?” “O, Mrs. Booth!” answered she, “I find I have undertaken what I am not able to perform. You would not wonder at my emotion if you knew you had an adulteress and a murderer now standing before you.”

Mrs. Bennet locked the door, and once both ladies were seated, she tried to speak a couple of times, but her emotions stopped her words. After a brief silence, she broke down in tears. Amelia, showing deep sympathy through her expressions and voice, exclaimed, “What could be causing all this distress, dear madam?” “Oh, Mrs. Booth!” she replied, “I realize I've taken on something I'm not able to handle. You wouldn't be surprised at my emotions if you knew that an adulteress and a murderer were standing right in front of you.”

Amelia turned pale as death at these words, which Mrs. Bennet observing, collected all the force she was able, and, a little composing her countenance, cried, “I see, madam, I have terrified you with such dreadful words; but I hope you will not think me guilty of these crimes in the blackest degree.” “Guilty!” cries Amelia. “O Heavens!” “I believe, indeed, your candour,” continued Mrs. Bennet, “will be readier to acquit me than I am to acquit myself. Indiscretion, at least, the highest, most unpardonable indiscretion, I shall always lay to ray own charge: and, when I reflect on the fatal consequences, I can never, never forgive myself.” Here she again began to lament in so bitter a manner, that Amelia endeavoured, as much as she could (for she was herself greatly shocked), to soothe and comfort her; telling her that, if indiscretion was her highest crime, the unhappy consequences made her rather an unfortunate than a guilty person; and concluded by saying—“Indeed, madam, you have raised my curiosity to the highest pitch, and I beg you will proceed with your story.”

Amelia turned as pale as a ghost at these words, and Mrs. Bennet, noticing this, gathered all her strength, composed her face a bit, and said, “I see, madam, that I have frightened you with such terrible words; but I hope you won't think I'm guilty of these crimes in the worst possible way.” “Guilty!” Amelia exclaimed. “Oh my God!” “I truly believe your honesty,” Mrs. Bennet continued, “will be more willing to forgive me than I am to forgive myself. Indiscretion, at least the worst kind, the most unforgivable indiscretion, I will always hold against myself: and when I think about the disastrous outcomes, I can never, ever forgive myself.” She began to lament so bitterly that Amelia, who was herself quite shaken, tried her best to comfort her, telling her that if indiscretion was her only fault, the unfortunate results made her more of a victim than a guilty person; and she concluded by saying, “Indeed, madam, you've piqued my curiosity to the highest level, and I beg you to continue with your story.”

Mrs. Bennet then seemed a second time going to begin her relation, when she cried out, “I would, if possible, tire you with no more of my unfortunate life than just with that part which leads to a catastrophe in which I think you may yourself be interested; but I protest I am at a loss where to begin.”

Mrs. Bennet then looked like she was about to start her story again when she exclaimed, “I would, if I could, avoid boring you with any more of my unfortunate life than just the part that leads to a disaster I think you might be interested in; but honestly, I don’t know where to start.”

“Begin wherever you please, dear madam,” cries Amelia; “but I beg you will consider my impatience.” “I do consider it,” answered Mrs. Bennet; “and therefore would begin with that part of my story which leads directly to what concerns yourself; for how, indeed, should my life produce anything worthy your notice?” “Do not say so, madam,” cries Amelia; “I assure you I have long suspected there were some very remarkable incidents in your life, and have only wanted an opportunity to impart to you my desire of hearing them: I beg, therefore, you would make no more apologies.” “I will not, madam,” cries Mrs. Bennet, “and yet I would avoid anything trivial; though, indeed, in stories of distress, especially where love is concerned, many little incidents may appear trivial to those who have never felt the passion, which, to delicate minds, are the most interesting part of the whole.” “Nay, but, dear madam,” cries Amelia, “this is all preface.”

“Start wherever you like, dear madam,” Amelia exclaims; “but please consider my impatience.” “I am considering it,” Mrs. Bennet replies; “and so I will begin with the part of my story that directly concerns you; for how could my life possibly contain anything that would capture your attention?” “Don’t say that, madam,” Amelia responds; “I assure you I’ve long suspected that there are some truly remarkable events in your life, and I’ve just been waiting for the chance to express my desire to hear them: I kindly ask that you make no more apologies.” “I won’t, madam,” says Mrs. Bennet, “yet I want to avoid anything trivial; although, in stories of hardship, especially those involving love, many small details may seem trivial to those who've never experienced such passion, which, to sensitive minds, are the most captivating aspects.” “But, dear madam,” Amelia interjects, “this is all just a prelude.”

“Well, madam,” answered Mrs. Bennet, “I will consider your impatience.” She then rallied all her spirits in the best manner she could, and began as is written in the next chapter.

“Well, ma'am,” replied Mrs. Bennet, “I will take your impatience into account.” She then gathered all her strength in the best way she could and began as is written in the next chapter.

And here possibly the reader will blame Mrs. Bennet for taking her story so far back, and relating so much of her life in which Amelia had no concern; but, in truth, she was desirous of inculcating a good opinion of herself, from recounting those transactions where her conduct was unexceptionable, before she came to the more dangerous and suspicious part of her character. This I really suppose to have been her intention; for to sacrifice the time and patience of Amelia at such a season to the mere love of talking of herself would have been as unpardonable in her as the bearing it was in Amelia a proof of the most perfect good breeding.

And here the reader might blame Mrs. Bennet for taking her story so far back and sharing so much of her life that Amelia wasn’t part of; but, honestly, she wanted to create a good impression of herself by recounting the moments where her actions were flawless before getting to the more questionable and tricky parts of her character. I really believe this was her aim; to waste Amelia’s time and patience just to indulge in talking about herself would have been as unacceptable for Mrs. Bennet as Amelia tolerating it was a sign of her excellent manners.










Chapter ii. — The beginning of Mrs. Bennet’s history.

“I was the younger of two daughters of a clergyman in Essex; of one in whose praise if I should indulge my fond heart in speaking, I think my invention could not outgo the reality. He was indeed well worthy of the cloth he wore; and that, I think, is the highest character a man can obtain.

“I was the younger of two daughters of a clergyman in Essex; of one whose praise, if I allowed my fond heart to express it, I don’t think my imagination could exceed the truth. He was truly deserving of the cloth he wore; and I believe that is the highest honor a man can achieve.

“During the first part of my life, even till I reached my sixteenth year, I can recollect nothing to relate to you. All was one long serene day, in looking back upon which, as when we cast our eyes on a calm sea, no object arises to my view. All appears one scene of happiness and tranquillity.

“During the first part of my life, even until I turned sixteen, I can't remember anything to share with you. It was all one long, peaceful day, and when I look back on it, it's like gazing at a calm sea—nothing specific comes to mind. Everything seems to be one big scene of happiness and tranquility.”

“On the day, then, when I became sixteen years old, must I begin my history; for on that day I first tasted the bitterness of sorrow.

“On the day I turned sixteen, I must begin my story; for that was the day I first experienced the bitterness of sorrow.

“My father, besides those prescribed by our religion, kept five festivals every year. These were on his wedding-day, and on the birthday of each of his little family; on these occasions he used to invite two or three neighbours to his house, and to indulge himself, as he said, in great excess; for so he called drinking a pint of very small punch; and, indeed, it might appear excess to one who on other days rarely tasted any liquor stronger than small beer.

“My father, in addition to those dictated by our religion, celebrated five festivals every year. These were on his wedding anniversary and on the birthdays of each of his children. On these occasions, he would invite two or three neighbors over and treat himself, as he put it, to great excess; because that’s how he referred to drinking a pint of very weak punch. And honestly, it might seem like a lot to someone who usually only had something lighter than small beer.”

“Upon my unfortunate birthday, then, when we were all in a high degree of mirth, my mother having left the room after dinner, and staying away pretty long, my father sent me to see for her. I went according to his orders; but, though I searched the whole house and called after her without doors, I could neither see nor hear her. I was a little alarmed at this (though far from suspecting any great mischief had befallen her), and ran back to acquaint my father, who answered coolly (for he was a man of the calmest temper), ‘Very well, my dear, I suppose she is not gone far, and will be here immediately.’ Half an hour or more past after this, when, she not returning, my father himself expressed some surprize at her stay; declaring it must be some matter of importance which could detain her at that time from her company. His surprize now encreased every minute, and he began to grow uneasy, and to shew sufficient symptoms in his countenance of what he felt within. He then despatched the servant-maid to enquire after her mistress in the parish, but waited not her return; for she was scarce gone out of doors before he begged leave of his guests to go himself on the same errand. The company now all broke up, and attended my father, all endeavouring to give him hopes that no mischief had happened. They searched the whole parish, but in vain; they could neither see my mother, nor hear any news of her. My father returned home in a state little short of distraction. His friends in vain attempted to administer either advice or comfort; he threw himself on the floor in the most bitter agonies of despair.

“On my unfortunate birthday, when everyone was in a great mood, my mother left the room after dinner and didn't come back for quite a while. My father asked me to go look for her. I followed his orders, but even after searching the whole house and calling outside for her, I couldn’t see or hear her. I was a bit worried about this (though I didn’t think anything serious had happened to her) and ran back to tell my father. He replied calmly (he was always the calmest person), ‘It’s fine, dear. I’m sure she hasn’t gone far and will be back soon.’ After more than half an hour passed and she still hadn’t returned, my father began to wonder about her absence; he said it must be something important keeping her away from us. His surprise grew with each passing minute and he started to look uneasy, showing clear signs of his concern. He then sent the maid to ask about her in the neighborhood but didn’t wait for her to come back; as soon as she stepped outside, he asked his guests for permission to go look for her himself. The guests all left and accompanied my father, trying to reassure him that nothing bad had happened. They searched the entire area but found nothing; they couldn't see my mother or get any news about her. My father came home nearly beside himself with worry. His friends tried unsuccessfully to offer advice or comfort; he collapsed on the floor in the depths of despair.

“Whilst he lay in this condition, my sister and myself lying by him, all equally, I believe, and completely miserable, our old servant-maid came into the room and cried out, her mind misgave her that she knew where her mistress was. Upon these words, my father sprung from the floor, and asked her eagerly, where? But oh! Mrs. Booth, how can I describe the particulars of a scene to you, the remembrance of which chills my blood with horror, and which the agonies of my mind, when it past, made all a scene of confusion! The fact then in short was this: my mother, who was a most indulgent mistress to one servant, which was all we kept, was unwilling, I suppose, to disturb her at her dinner, and therefore went herself to fill her tea-kettle at a well, into which, stretching herself too far, as we imagine, the water then being very low, she fell with the tea-kettle in her hand. The missing this gave the poor old wretch the first hint of her suspicion, which, upon examination, was found to be too well grounded.

"While he was in this state, my sister and I lay next to him, all of us equally, I believe, and completely miserable. Our old servant came into the room and shouted out, sensing that she knew where her mistress was. At these words, my father sprang from the floor and eagerly asked her where? But oh! Mrs. Booth, how can I describe the details of a scene that chills my blood with horror and turned my mind into a complete mess when it happened? The short version is this: my mother, who was very kind to our one servant—the only one we had—didn't want to interrupt her dinner, so she went herself to fill the tea kettle at a well. As we believe, since the water was very low, she stretched too far and fell in, tea kettle in hand. Not seeing her was the first indication for the poor old woman that something was wrong, and upon investigation, it turned out she was right to be concerned."

“What we all suffered on this occasion may more easily be felt than described.”——“It may indeed,” answered Amelia, “and I am so sensible of it, that, unless you have a mind to see me faint before your face, I beg you will order me something; a glass of water, if you please. “Mrs. Bennet immediately complied with her friend’s request; a glass of water was brought, and some hartshorn drops infused into it; which Amelia having drank off, declared she found herself much better; and then Mrs. Bennet proceeded thus:—“I will not dwell on a scene which I see hath already so much affected your tender heart, and which is as disagreeable to me to relate as it can be to you to hear. I will therefore only mention to you the behaviour of my father on this occasion, which was indeed becoming a philosopher and a Christian divine. On the day after my mother’s funeral he sent for my sister and myself into his room, where, after many caresses and every demonstration of fatherly tenderness as well in silence as in words, he began to exhort us to bear with patience the great calamity that had befallen us; saying, ‘That as every human accident, how terrible soever, must happen to us by divine permission at least, a due sense of our duty to our great Creator must teach us an absolute submission to his will. Not only religion, but common sense, must teach us this; for oh! my dear children,’ cries he, ‘how vain is all resistance, all repining! could tears wash back again my angel from the grave, I should drain all the juices of my body through my eyes; but oh, could we fill up that cursed well with our tears, how fruitless would be all our sorrow!’—I think I repeat you his very words; for the impression they made on me is never to be obliterated. He then proceeded to comfort us with the chearful thought that the loss was entirely our own, and that my mother was greatly a gainer by the accident which we lamented. ‘I have a wife,’ cries he, ‘my children, and you have a mother, now amongst the heavenly choir; how selfish therefore is all our grief! how cruel to her are all our wishes!’ In this manner he talked to us near half an hour, though I must frankly own to you his arguments had not the immediate good effect on us which they deserved, for we retired from him very little the better for his exhortations; however, they became every day more and more forcible upon our recollection; indeed, they were greatly strengthened by his example; for in this, as in all other instances, he practised the doctrines which he taught. From this day he never mentioned my mother more, and soon after recovered his usual chearfulness in public; though I have reason to think he paid many a bitter sigh in private to that remembrance which neither philosophy nor Christianity could expunge.

“What we all went through during this time is easier to feel than to explain.”——“It truly is,” Amelia replied, “and I’m so aware of it that unless you want to see me faint in front of you, please get me something—maybe a glass of water.” Mrs. Bennet quickly fulfilled her friend’s request; a glass of water was brought, with some hartshorn drops added. After Amelia drank it, she said she felt much better, and then Mrs. Bennet continued: “I won’t dwell on a scene that has clearly affected your tender heart so much, which is just as unpleasant for me to recount as it is for you to hear. I’ll only mention how my father acted in this situation, which was truly fitting for a philosopher and a Christian. The day after my mother’s funeral, he called my sister and me into his room, where, after many affectionate gestures and expressions of fatherly love, both in silence and words, he began to encourage us to patiently bear the great loss we had suffered; saying, ‘Since every unfortunate event, no matter how terrible, happens by divine permission, a proper sense of our duty to our Creator should teach us to fully submit to His will. Both religion and common sense tell us this; for oh, my dear children,’ he exclaimed, ‘how pointless is all resistance, all complaining! If tears could bring my angel back from the grave, I would shed all my bodily fluids through my eyes; but oh, if we could fill that dreadful well with our tears, how useless would all our sorrow be!’—I believe I’m quoting him exactly, as the impact of his words is never going to fade from my memory. He then went on to comfort us with the uplifting thought that the loss was entirely ours, and that my mother was actually better off from the tragedy we mourned. ‘I have a wife,’ he said, ‘my children, and you have a mother now amongst the heavenly choir; how selfish is our grief! How cruel to her are all our wishes!’ He spoke to us like this for almost half an hour, though I must admit that his arguments didn’t have the immediate positive effect on us that they deserved, as we left feeling hardly any better from his guidance; however, they became more and more significant in our minds as days went by, especially since he exemplified the principles he preached. From that day on, he never mentioned my mother again, and shortly after, he regained his usual cheerfulness in public; though I suspect he shed many a bitter sigh in private over the memory that neither philosophy nor Christianity could erase.

“My father’s advice, enforced by his example, together with the kindness of some of our friends, assisted by that ablest of all the mental physicians, Time, in a few months pretty well restored my tranquillity, when fortune made a second attack on my quiet. My sister, whom I dearly loved, and who as warmly returned my affection, had fallen into an ill state of health some time before the fatal accident which I have related. She was indeed at that time so much better, that we had great hopes of her perfect recovery; but the disorders of her mind on that dreadful occasion so affected her body, that she presently relapsed to her former declining state, and thence grew continually worse and worse, till, after a decay of near seven months, she followed my poor mother to the grave.

“My father’s advice, backed up by his example, along with the kindness of some friends and the best healer of all, Time, helped restore my peace in just a few months, until luck dealt me another blow. My sister, whom I loved dearly and who loved me just as much, had been in poor health even before the tragic accident I mentioned. She was actually doing much better at that time, and we had high hopes for her full recovery; but the turmoil in her mind from that terrible event took a toll on her body, causing her to quickly regress to her previous fragile state, and she continued to deteriorate until, after nearly seven months, she joined my poor mother in the grave.

“I will not tire you, dear madam, with repetitions of grief; I will only mention two observations which have occurred to me from reflections on the two losses I have mentioned. The first is, that a mind once violently hurt grows, as it were, callous to any future impressions of grief, and is never capable of feeling the same pangs a second time. The other observation is, that the arrows of fortune, as well as all others, derive their force from the velocity with which they are discharged; for, when they approach you by slow and perceptible degrees, they have but very little power to do you mischief.

“I won’t bore you, dear madam, with endless expressions of sorrow; I’ll just share two thoughts that have come to me while reflecting on the two losses I’ve mentioned. The first is that a mind that has been deeply hurt becomes, in a way, numb to future feelings of grief and can never feel the same pain again. The second observation is that the blows of fate, like all other arrows, gain their strength from how quickly they hit you; when they come at you slowly and gradually, they have very little power to harm you.”

“The truth of these observations I experienced, not only in my own heart, but in the behaviour of my father, whose philosophy seemed to gain a complete triumph over this latter calamity.

“The truth of these observations I felt, not just in my own heart, but in my father's behavior, which appeared to completely conquer this latter misfortune."

“Our family was now reduced to two, and my father grew extremely fond of me, as if he had now conferred an entire stock of affection on me, that had before been divided. His words, indeed, testified no less, for he daily called me his only darling, his whole comfort, his all. He committed the whole charge of his house to my care, and gave me the name of his little housekeeper, an appellation of which I was then as proud as any minister of state can be of his titles. But, though I was very industrious in the discharge of my occupation, I did not, however, neglect my studies, in which I had made so great a proficiency, that I was become a pretty good mistress of the Latin language, and had made some progress in the Greek. I believe, madam, I have formerly acquainted you, that learning was the chief estate I inherited of my father, in which he had instructed me from my earliest youth.

“Our family was now just two, and my father became very attached to me, as if he had transferred all the love he had previously shared. His words showed this clearly; he called me his only darling, his whole comfort, his everything, every day. He entrusted the entire management of the house to me and called me his little housekeeper, a title that made me as proud as any top official can be of their titles. However, even though I worked hard at my responsibilities, I didn’t neglect my studies. I had made such good progress that I was quite proficient in Latin and had started learning some Greek. I believe, ma'am, I have told you before that learning was the main inheritance I received from my father, who had taught me since I was very young."

“The kindness of this good man had at length wiped off the remembrance of all losses; and I during two years led a life of great tranquillity, I think I might almost say of perfect happiness.

“The kindness of this good man had finally erased all memories of loss; and for two years, I lived a life of great peace, I could almost say of complete happiness.”

“I was now in the nineteenth year of my age, when my father’s good fortune removed us from the county of Essex into Hampshire, where a living was conferred on him by one of his old school-fellows, of twice the value of what he was before possessed of.

“I was now 19 years old when my father’s good luck took us from Essex to Hampshire, where one of his old school friends gave him a living that was worth double what he had before.”

“His predecessor in this new living had died in very indifferent circumstances, and had left behind him a widow with two small children. My father, therefore, who, with great economy, had a most generous soul, bought the whole furniture of the parsonage-house at a very high price; some of it, indeed, he would have wanted; for, though our little habitation in Essex was most completely furnished, yet it bore no proportion to the largeness of that house in which he was now to dwell.

“His predecessor in this new place had died under rather unfortunate circumstances, leaving behind a widow and two small children. My father, who was very frugal but had a generous spirit, bought all the furniture from the parsonage at a pretty steep price; some of it he actually didn’t need, because even though our little home in Essex was fully furnished, it couldn’t compare to the size of the house he was about to live in.”

“His motive, however, to the purchase was, I am convinced, solely generosity; which appeared sufficiently by the price he gave, and may be farther inforced by the kindness he shewed the widow in another instance; for he assigned her an apartment for the use of herself and her little family, which, he told her, she was welcome to enjoy as long as it suited her conveniency.

“His motive for the purchase was, I believe, purely generosity; this was clear from the price he paid, and it was further supported by the kindness he showed the widow in another situation; he offered her a place to stay for herself and her small family, which he told her she could use for as long as it was convenient for her.”

“As this widow was very young, and generally thought to be tolerably pretty, though I own she had a cast with her eyes which I never liked, my father, you may suppose, acted from a less noble principle than I have hinted; but I must in justice acquit him, for these kind offers were made her before ever he had seen her face; and I have the greatest reason to think that, for a long time after he had seen her, he beheld her with much indifference.

“As this widow was quite young and generally considered pretty, though I admit she had a slight cast in her eyes that I never liked, you can imagine my father acted from a less noble motive than I suggested; but I must fairly excuse him, as these generous offers were made to her before he had even seen her face; and I have strong reasons to believe that, for a long time after he met her, he regarded her with a lot of indifference.”

“This act of my father’s gave me, when I first heard it, great satisfaction; for I may at least, with the modesty of the ancient philosophers, call myself a lover of generosity, but when I became acquainted with the widow I was still more delighted with what my father had done; for though I could not agree with those who thought her a consummate beauty, I must allow that she was very fully possessed of the power of making herself agreeable; and this power she exerted with so much success, with such indefatigable industry to oblige, that within three months I became in the highest manner pleased with my new acquaintance, and had contracted the most sincere friendship for her.

“This action of my father’s gave me great satisfaction when I first heard about it; I can at least, with the humility of ancient philosophers, call myself a lover of generosity. But when I got to know the widow, I was even more delighted with what my father had done. While I couldn’t agree with those who considered her a stunning beauty, I had to admit that she had a remarkable ability to make herself likable. She used this ability so effectively and with such tireless effort to please that within three months, I became very pleased with my new acquaintance and developed a truly sincere friendship with her.”

“But, if I was so pleased with the widow, my father was by this time enamoured of her. She had, indeed, by the most artful conduct in the world, so insinuated herself into his favour, so entirely infatuated him, that he never shewed the least marks of chearfulness in her absence, and could, in truth, scarce bear that she should be out of his sight.

“But if I was so happy with the widow, my father was by then completely in love with her. She had, through the most skillful behavior imaginable, so ingratiated herself with him, so utterly captivated him, that he never showed the slightest signs of happiness when she wasn't around, and he could hardly stand to have her out of his sight."

“She had managed this matter so well (O, she is the most artful of women!) that my father’s heart was gone before I ever suspected it was in danger. The discovery you may easily believe, madam, was not pleasing. The name of a mother-in-law sounded dreadful in my ears; nor could I bear the thought of parting again with a share in those dear affections, of which I had purchased the whole by the loss of a beloved mother and sister.

“She had handled this situation so skillfully (Oh, she’s the most cunning of women!) that my father was already in love before I even suspected he was at risk. You can imagine, madam, the discovery was not welcome. The idea of a mother-in-law sounded terrible to me; I couldn’t stand the thought of losing my place in those cherished affections, which I had bought with the loss of a beloved mother and sister.”

“In the first hurry and disorder of my mind on this occasion I committed a crime of the highest kind against all the laws of prudence and discretion. I took the young lady herself very roundly to task, treated her designs on my father as little better than a design to commit a theft, and in my passion, I believe, said she might be ashamed to think of marrying a man old enough to be her grandfather; for so in reality he almost was.

“In the initial rush and chaos of my thoughts during this situation, I made a serious mistake that went against all common sense and good judgment. I confronted the young lady quite harshly, equating her intentions toward my father with little more than a plan to steal him away, and in my anger, I think I said she should be ashamed to even consider marrying someone old enough to be her grandfather; which, in fact, he nearly was.”

“The lady on this occasion acted finely the part of a hypocrite. She affected to be highly affronted at my unjust suspicions, as she called them; and proceeded to such asseverations of her innocence, that she almost brought me to discredit the evidence of my own eyes and ears.

“The lady this time played the role of a hypocrite very well. She pretended to be extremely offended by my so-called unjust suspicions and went on to make such strong claims of her innocence that she nearly made me doubt what I had seen and heard myself.”

“My father, however, acted much more honestly, for he fell the next day into a more violent passion with me than I had ever seen him in before, and asked me whether I intended to return his paternal fondness by assuming the right of controlling his inclinations? with more of the like kind, which fully convinced me what had passed between him and the lady, and how little I had injured her in my suspicions.

“My father, on the other hand, was much more straightforward, as he erupted into a more intense rage with me the next day than I had ever witnessed before. He asked me if I planned to return his fatherly affection by trying to control his choices, along with other similar accusations, which made it clear to me what had happened between him and the lady, and how wrong I had been in my doubts about her.”

“Hitherto, I frankly own, my aversion to this match had been principally on my own account; for I had no ill opinion of the woman, though I thought neither her circumstances nor my father’s age promised any kind of felicity from such an union; but now I learnt some particulars, which, had not our quarrel become public in the parish, I should perhaps have never known. In short, I was Informed that this gentle obliging creature, as she had at first appeared to me, had the spirit of a tigress, and was by many believed to have broken the heart of her first husband.

"Until now, I honestly admit, my dislike for this match was mainly for my own sake; I had no bad feelings about the woman, but I didn't think her situation or my father's age promised any happiness from such a union. However, I learned some details that, had our disagreement not become public in the community, I might never have known. In short, I was told that this kind and accommodating woman, as she had seemed to me at first, had the spirit of a tigress, and many believed she had broken her first husband's heart."

“The truth of this matter being confirmed to me upon examination, I resolved not to suppress it. On this occasion fortune seemed to favour me, by giving me a speedy opportunity of seeing my father alone and in good humour. He now first began to open his intended marriage, telling me that he had formerly had some religious objections to bigamy, but he had very fully considered the matter, and had satisfied himself of its legality. He then faithfully promised me that no second marriage should in the least impair his affection for me; and concluded with the highest eulogiums on the goodness of the widow, protesting that it was her virtues and not her person with which he was enamoured.

“The truth of this matter was confirmed to me upon examination, so I decided not to keep it to myself. On this occasion, luck seemed to be on my side, as I quickly got the chance to see my father alone and in a good mood. He started to discuss his intended marriage, telling me that he had previously had some religious objections to bigamy, but after careful consideration, he was convinced of its legality. He then sincerely promised me that a second marriage wouldn’t diminish his affection for me at all; and he concluded with high praise for the widow’s character, insisting that it was her virtues, not her looks, that he was attracted to.

“I now fell upon my knees before him, and bathing his hand in my tears, which flowed very plentifully from my eyes, acquainted him with all I had heard, and was so very imprudent, I might almost say so cruel, to disclose the author of my information.

“I dropped to my knees in front of him, soaking his hand in my tears, which flowed freely from my eyes. I told him everything I had heard and was so reckless, I could almost call it cruel, to reveal the source of my information.

“My father heard me without any indication of passion, and answered coldly, that if there was any proof of such facts he should decline any further thoughts of this match: ‘But, child,’ said he, ‘though I am far from suspecting the truth of what you tell me, as far as regards your knowledge, yet you know the inclination of the world to slander.’ However, before we parted he promised to make a proper enquiry into what I had told him.—But I ask your pardon, dear madam, I am running minutely into those particulars of my life in which you have not the least concern.”

"My father listened to me without any sign of emotion and replied coolly that if there was any evidence of such things, he would reconsider this match: ‘But, my child,’ he said, ‘even though I have no reason to doubt what you're saying about your knowledge, you know how the world loves to gossip.’ Still, before we said our goodbyes, he promised to look into what I had told him. —But forgive me, dear madam, I'm going into too much detail about my life, which doesn't concern you at all."

Amelia stopt her friend short in her apology; and though, perhaps, she thought her impertinent enough, yet (such was her good breeding) she gave her many assurances of a curiosity to know every incident of her life which she could remember; after which Mrs. Bennet proceeded as in the next chapter.

Amelia cut off her friend mid-apology; and even though she might have found her pretty annoying, she was polite enough to reassure her that she was eager to hear every detail of her life that she could recall. After that, Mrs. Bennet continued as described in the next chapter.










Chapter iii. — Continuation of Mrs. Bennet’s story.

“I think, madam,” said Mrs. Bennet, “I told you my father promised me to enquire farther into the affair, but he had hardly time to keep his word; for we separated pretty late in the evening and early the next morning he was married to the widow.

“I think, ma'am,” said Mrs. Bennet, “I told you my father promised me he would look into the matter further, but he barely had time to follow through; we parted ways pretty late in the evening, and early the next morning he was married to the widow.

“But, though he gave no credit to my information, I had sufficient reason to think he did not forget it, by the resentment which he soon discovered to both the persons whom I had named as my informers.

“But, even though he didn’t believe what I told him, I had enough reason to think he didn’t forget it, based on the anger he quickly showed towards the two people I had named as my sources.”

“Nor was it long before I had good cause to believe that my father’s new wife was perfectly well acquainted with the good opinion I had of her, not only from her usage of me, but from certain hints which she threw forth with an air of triumph. One day, particularly, I remember she said to my father, upon his mentioning his age, ‘O, my dear! I hope you have many years yet to live! unless, indeed, I should be so cruel as to break your heart’ She spoke these words looking me full in the face, and accompanied them with a sneer in which the highest malice was visible, under a thin covering of affected pleasantry.

“Nor was it long before I had good reason to believe that my father’s new wife was fully aware of the favorable opinion I had of her, not just from how she treated me, but from certain hints she dropped with a triumphant attitude. One day, I particularly remember her saying to my father, when he mentioned his age, ‘Oh, my dear! I hope you have many years left! Unless, of course, I happen to be so cruel as to break your heart.’ She said this while looking me straight in the face, and her tone was laced with a sneer that revealed the deepest malice, masked by a facade of feigned friendliness.”

“I will not entertain you, madam, with anything so common as the cruel usage of a step-mother; nor of what affected me much more, the unkind behaviour of a father under such an influence. It shall suffice only to tell you that I had the mortification to perceive the gradual and daily decrease of my father’s affection. His smiles were converted into frowns; the tender appellations of child and dear were exchanged for plain Molly, that girl, that creature, and sometimes much harder names. I was at first turned all at once into a cypher, and at last seemed to be considered as a nuisance in the family.

“I won't bore you, ma'am, with anything as common as the harsh treatment from a stepmother; nor will I dwell on what affected me even more, my father's unkind behavior under such circumstances. I’ll just say that it was painful to see my father's love for me gradually fade away. His smiles turned into frowns; the affectionate terms of 'child' and 'dear' were replaced with just 'Molly,' 'that girl,' 'that creature,' and sometimes even harsher names. At first, I was suddenly made to feel completely invisible, and eventually, I felt like a burden to the family.”

“Thus altered was the man of whom I gave you such a character at the entrance on my story; but, alas! he no longer acted from his own excellent disposition, but was in everything governed and directed by my mother-in-law. In fact, whenever there is great disparity of years between husband and wife, the younger is, I believe, always possessed of absolute power over the elder; for superstition itself is a less firm support of absolute power than dotage.

“Thus changed was the man I described at the beginning of my story; but, unfortunately! he no longer acted according to his own good nature, but was in every way controlled and influenced by my mother-in-law. In fact, whenever there's a significant age gap between husband and wife, I believe the younger partner always holds complete power over the older one; because, honestly, superstition is a weaker foundation for absolute power than old age.”

“But, though his wife was so entirely mistress of my father’s will that she could make him use me ill, she could not so perfectly subdue his understanding as to prevent him from being conscious of such ill-usage; and from this consciousness, he began inveterately to hate me. Of this hatred he gave me numberless instances, and I protest to you I know not any other reason for it than what I have assigned; and the cause, as experience hath convinced me, is adequate to the effect.

“But, even though his wife had complete control over my father's will and could make him treat me poorly, she couldn't completely suppress his understanding enough to keep him from realizing how he treated me. Because of this awareness, he started to hate me deeply. He showed me countless examples of this hatred, and I swear I can't think of any other reason for it than the one I've mentioned; and the cause, as I've learned from experience, is sufficient to explain the effect.”

“While I was in this wretched situation, my father’s unkindness having almost broken ray heart, he came one day into my room with more anger in his countenance than I had ever seen, and, after bitterly upbraiding me with my undutiful behaviour both to himself and his worthy consort, he bid me pack up my alls, and immediately prepare to quit his house; at the same time gave me a letter, and told me that would acquaint me where I might find a home; adding that he doubted not but I expected, and had indeed solicited, the invitation; and left me with a declaration that he would have no spies in his family.

“While I was in this awful situation, my father’s unkindness had nearly broken my heart. One day, he came into my room looking angrier than I had ever seen before, and after harshly criticizing me for my disobedient behavior toward him and his respected partner, he told me to pack my things and get ready to leave his house immediately. At the same time, he gave me a letter and said it would let me know where I could find a home, adding that he was sure I was expecting and had even asked for the invitation. He then left me with a declaration that he wouldn’t tolerate any spies in his family."

“The letter, I found on opening it, was from my father’s own sister; but before I mention the contents I will give you a short sketch of her character, as it was somewhat particular. Her personal charms were not great; for she was very tall, very thin, and very homely. Of the defect of her beauty she was, perhaps, sensible; her vanity, therefore, retreated into her mind, where there is no looking-glass, and consequently where we can flatter ourselves with discovering almost whatever beauties we please. This is an encouraging circumstance; and yet I have observed, dear Mrs. Booth, that few women ever seek these comforts from within till they are driven to it by despair of finding any food for their vanity from without. Indeed, I believe the first wish of our whole sex is to be handsome.”

“The letter, as I found upon opening it, was from my father’s sister; but before I talk about what it said, I’ll give you a brief overview of her character, as it was quite distinct. She wasn't particularly attractive; she was very tall, very thin, and quite plain. She was probably aware of her lack of beauty; so her vanity focused inward, where there are no mirrors, and where we can easily tell ourselves we have whatever qualities we want. This can be a comforting thing; however, I’ve noticed, dear Mrs. Booth, that few women look for this inner comfort until they’re pushed to it by feeling hopeless about finding any validation from the outside. Honestly, I think the main desire of all women is to be beautiful.”

Here both the ladies fixed their eyes on the glass, and both smiled.

Here both the women focused on the glass, and both smiled.

“My aunt, however,” continued Mrs. Bennet, “from despair of gaining any applause this way, had applied herself entirely to the contemplation of her understanding, and had improved this to such a pitch, that at the age of fifty, at which she was now arrived, she had contracted a hearty contempt for much the greater part of both sexes; for the women, as being idiots, and for the men, as the admirers of idiots. That word, and fool, were almost constantly in her mouth, and were bestowed with great liberality among all her acquaintance.

“My aunt, however,” continued Mrs. Bennet, “after realizing she wouldn’t get any recognition this way, focused entirely on bettering her mind, and she did so successfully that by the time she reached fifty, she had developed a strong disdain for most people of both genders; she saw women as fools and men as fools for admiring these women. Those words, and ‘fool,’ were almost always on her lips, and she used them generously when talking about all her acquaintances.

“This lady had spent one day only at my father’s house in near two years; it was about a month before his second marriage. At her departure she took occasion to whisper me her opinion of the widow, whom she called a pretty idiot, and wondered how her brother could bear such company under his roof; for neither she nor I had at that time any suspicion of what afterwards happened.

“This lady had only spent one day at my father’s house in nearly two years; it was about a month before his second marriage. When she left, she took the opportunity to whisper her opinion of the widow, whom she called a pretty idiot, and wondered how her brother could tolerate such company under his roof; because neither she nor I had any idea at that time of what would happen later.”

“The letter which my father had just received, and which was the first she had sent him since his marriage, was of such a nature that I should be unjust if I blamed him for being offended; fool and idiot were both plentifully bestowed in it as well on himself as on his wife. But what, perhaps, had principally offended him was that part which related to me; for, after much panegyric on my understanding, and saying he was unworthy of such a daughter, she considered his match not only as the highest indiscretion as it related to himself, but as a downright act of injustice to me. One expression in it I shall never forget. ‘You have placed,’ said she, ‘a woman above your daughter, who, in understanding, the only valuable gift of nature, is the lowest in the whole class of pretty idiots.’ After much more of this kind, it concluded with inviting me to her house.

“The letter that my father had just received, which was the first one she sent him since his marriage, was such that I would be unfair to blame him for being upset; both 'fool' and 'idiot' were thrown around generously in it, directed at him and his wife. But what probably bothered him the most was the part that concerned me; after extensive praise of my intelligence and claiming he was unworthy of such a daughter, she viewed his marriage not only as a major mistake for himself but also as an outright injustice to me. One statement in it will always stick with me. 'You have placed,' she said, 'a woman above your daughter, who, in terms of intelligence—the only truly valuable gift from nature—is at the bottom of the entire category of pretty idiots.' After much more of this sort, it ended with an invitation for me to visit her house.”

“I can truly say that when I had read the letter I entirely forgave my father’s suspicion that I had made some complaints to my aunt of his behaviour; for, though I was indeed innocent, there was surely colour enough to suspect the contrary.

“I can honestly say that after I read the letter, I completely forgave my father for thinking I had complained to my aunt about how he behaved; because, even though I was innocent, there was definitely enough reason to suspect otherwise.”

“Though I had never been greatly attached to my aunt, nor indeed had she formerly given me any reason for such an attachment, yet I was well enough pleased with her present invitation. To say the truth, I led so wretched a life where I then was, that it was impossible not to be a gainer by any exchange.

“Even though I had never been particularly close to my aunt, and she hadn’t really given me any reason to feel that way before, I was actually quite happy with her current invitation. To be honest, I was living such a miserable life where I was at the time that any change had to be an improvement.”

“I could not, however, bear the thoughts of leaving my father with an impression on his mind against me which I did not deserve. I endeavoured, therefore, to remove all his suspicion of my having complained to my aunt by the most earnest asseverations of my innocence; but they were all to no purpose. All my tears, all my vows, and all my entreaties were fruitless. My new mother, indeed, appeared to be my advocate; but she acted her part very poorly, and, far from counterfeiting any desire of succeeding in my suit, she could not conceal the excessive joy which she felt on the occasion.

“I couldn't, however, stand the thought of leaving my dad with a misunderstanding about me that I didn't deserve. So, I tried to clear up any suspicion he had that I complained to my aunt by sincerely insisting on my innocence; but it didn’t work at all. All my tears, all my promises, and all my pleas were in vain. My new mom did seem to support me; however, she played her role poorly, and instead of pretending to want to help me, she couldn’t hide the immense joy she felt about the situation.”

“Well, madam, the next day I departed for my aunt’s, where, after a long journey of forty miles, I arrived, without having once broke my fast on the road; for grief is as capable as food of filling the stomach, and I had too much of the former to admit any of the latter. The fatigue of my journey, and the agitation of my mind, joined to my fasting, so overpowered my spirits, that when I was taken from my horse I immediately fainted away in the arms of the man who helped me from my saddle. My aunt expressed great astonishment at seeing me in this condition, with my eyes almost swollen out of my head with tears; but my father’s letter, which I delivered her soon after I came to myself, pretty well, I believe, cured her surprize. She often smiled with a mixture of contempt and anger while she was reading it; and, having pronounced her brother to be a fool, she turned to me, and, with as much affability as possible (for she is no great mistress of affability), said, ‘Don’t be uneasy, dear Molly, for you are come to the house of a friend—of one who hath sense enough to discern the author of all the mischief: depend upon it, child, I will, ere long, make some people ashamed of their folly.’ This kind reception gave me some comfort, my aunt assuring me that she would convince him how unjustly he had accused me of having made any complaints to her. A paper war was now begun between these two, which not only fixed an irreconcileable hatred between them, but confirmed my father’s displeasure against me; and, in the end, I believe, did me no service with my aunt; for I was considered by both as the cause of their dissension, though, in fact, my stepmother, who very well knew the affection my aunt had for her, had long since done her business with my father; and as for my aunt’s affection towards him, it had been abating several years, from an apprehension that he did not pay sufficient deference to her understanding.

“Well, ma'am, the next day I left for my aunt’s, where, after a long journey of forty miles, I arrived without having eaten anything on the way; grief can fill the stomach just as much as food can, and I had too much of the former to allow any of the latter. The fatigue of my journey, along with my emotional turmoil and fasting, overwhelmed my spirits to the point that when I was helped off my horse, I immediately fainted in the arms of the man who assisted me. My aunt was extremely shocked to see me in this state, with my eyes nearly swollen from tears; however, the letter from my father that I handed to her soon after I regained consciousness likely eased her surprise. She often smiled with a blend of disdain and anger while reading it, and after calling her brother a fool, she turned to me and, with as much friendliness as she could muster (as that isn’t her strong suit), said, ‘Don’t worry, dear Molly, you’ve come to the house of a friend—someone who has enough sense to see who’s really to blame for all this trouble: trust me, child, I will soon make some people regret their foolishness.’ This warm welcome provided me with some comfort, as my aunt assured me she would prove to him how unfairly he had accused me of complaining to her. A paper battle started between the two of them, which not only created an irreconcilable hatred but also solidified my father’s discontent with me; in the end, I believe it did me no favors with my aunt, since both considered me the reason for their conflict, despite the fact that my stepmother, who was well aware of my aunt’s affection for her, had already manipulated my father against her; as for my aunt’s feelings toward him, they had been dwindling for years, as she felt he didn’t show her enough respect for her intellect.”

“I had lived about half a year with my aunt when I heard of my stepmother’s being delivered of a boy, and the great joy my father expressed on that occasion; but, poor man, he lived not long to enjoy his happiness; for within a month afterwards I had the melancholy news of his death.

“I had lived with my aunt for about six months when I heard that my stepmother had given birth to a boy and how happy my father was about it. But, poor man, he didn’t live long enough to enjoy his happiness; within a month, I received the sad news of his death.

“Notwithstanding all the disobligations I had lately received from him, I was sincerely afflicted at my loss of him. All his kindness to me in my infancy, all his kindness to me while I was growing up, recurred to my memory, raised a thousand tender, melancholy ideas, and totally obliterated all thoughts of his latter behaviour, for which I made also every allowance and every excuse in my power.

“Despite all the ways he had let me down recently, I was genuinely saddened by my loss of him. All the kindness he showed me as a child and while I was growing up came to mind, bringing back a flood of bittersweet memories, and completely wiped away any thoughts of his recent behavior, for which I also made every excuse I could.”

“But what may perhaps appear more extraordinary, my aunt began soon to speak of him with concern. She said he had some understanding formerly, though his passion for that vile woman had, in a great measure, obscured it; and one day, when she was in an ill-humour with me, she had the cruelty to throw out a hint that she had never quarrelled with her brother if it had not been on my account.” My father, during his life, had allowed my aunt very handsomely for my board; for generosity was too deeply riveted in his nature to be plucked out by all the power of his wife. So far, however, she prevailed, that, though he died possessed of upwards of L2000, he left me no more than L100, which, as he expressed in his will, was to set me up in some business, if I had the grace to take to any.

“But what might seem even more surprising is that my aunt soon started to talk about him with concern. She mentioned that he used to be somewhat sensible, although his obsession with that awful woman had largely clouded his judgment; and one day, when she was in a bad mood with me, she cruelly hinted that she wouldn’t have fought with her brother if it hadn’t been for me.” My father, throughout his life, provided my aunt generously for my upbringing; his inherent kindness was too strong to be overshadowed by his wife's influence. Still, she had some success, as despite him dying with over £2000, he left me only £100, which, as he stated in his will, was meant to help me start a business if I had the motivation to pursue one.

“Hitherto my aunt had in general treated me with some degree of affection; but her behaviour began now to be changed. She soon took an opportunity of giving me to understand that her fortune was insufficient to keep me; and, as I could not live on the interest of my own, it was high time for me to consider about going into the world. She added, that her brother having mentioned my setting up in some business in his will was very foolish; that I had been bred to nothing; and, besides, that the sum was too trifling to set me up in any way of reputation; she desired me therefore to think of immediately going into service.

“Until now, my aunt had generally treated me with some degree of affection; but her behavior started to change. She soon found a moment to let me know that her finances were not enough to support me; and since I couldn’t live off my own interest, it was time for me to think about entering the workforce. She added that her brother mentioning my starting a business in his will was very foolish; that I had no practical skills; and besides, the amount was too insignificant to establish me in any reputable way. Therefore, she urged me to consider going into service right away.”

“This advice was perhaps right enough; and I told her I was very ready to do as she directed me, but I was at that time in an ill state of health; I desired her therefore to let me stay with her till my legacy, which was not to be paid till a year after my father’s death, was due; and I then promised to satisfy her for my board, to which she readily consented.

“This advice was probably good; and I told her I was very willing to follow her instructions, but I was in poor health at that time. I asked her to let me stay with her until my inheritance, which wouldn’t be paid until a year after my father's death, was available; and I promised to pay her for my stay, to which she agreed without hesitation.”

“And now, madam,” said Mrs. Bennet, sighing, “I am going to open to you those matters which lead directly to that great catastrophe of my life which hath occasioned my giving you this trouble, and of trying your patience in this manner.”

“And now, ma'am,” said Mrs. Bennet, sighing, “I’m going to share with you the matters that lead directly to the biggest disaster of my life, which is why I’m putting you through this and testing your patience like this.”

Amelia, notwithstanding her impatience, made a very civil answer to this; and then Mrs. Bennet proceeded to relate what is written in the next chapter.

Amelia, despite her impatience, gave a polite response to this; and then Mrs. Bennet went on to share what is written in the next chapter.










Chapter iv. — Further continuation.

“The curate of the parish where my aunt dwelt was a young fellow of about four-and-twenty. He had been left an orphan in his infancy, and entirely unprovided for, when an uncle had the goodness to take care of his education, both at school and at the university. As the young gentleman was intended for the church, his uncle, though he had two daughters of his own, and no very large fortune, purchased for him the next presentation of a living of near L200 a-year. The incumbent, at the time of the purchase, was under the age of sixty, and in apparent good health; notwithstanding which, he died soon after the bargain, and long before the nephew was capable of orders; so that the uncle was obliged to give the living to a clergyman, to hold it till the young man came of proper age.

“The curate of the parish where my aunt lived was a young guy of about twenty-four. He had been orphaned as a child and was completely on his own until an uncle kindly stepped in to support his education, both in school and at university. Since the young man was meant for the church, his uncle, although he had two daughters and wasn’t very wealthy, bought the next presentation of a living worth about £200 a year. At the time of the purchase, the current clergyman was under sixty and seemed to be in good health; however, he passed away shortly after the deal, well before the nephew could take orders. As a result, the uncle had to give the living to another clergyman to manage until the young man was old enough.”

“The young gentleman had not attained his proper age of taking orders when he had the misfortune to lose his uncle and only friend, who, thinking he had sufficiently provided for his nephew by the purchase of the living, considered him no farther in his will, but divided all the fortune of which he died possessed between his two daughters; recommending it to them, however, on his deathbed, to assist their cousin with money sufficient to keep him at the university till he should be capable of ordination.

“The young man had not reached the right age to become ordained when he unfortunately lost his uncle and only friend. The uncle believed he had done enough for his nephew by buying him a living and did not include him further in his will, instead dividing all his wealth between his two daughters. However, on his deathbed, he urged them to help their cousin with enough money to support him at the university until he was ready for ordination.”

“But, as no appointment of this kind was in the will, the young ladies, who received about each, thought proper to disregard the last words of their father; for, besides that both of them were extremely tenacious of their money, they were great enemies to their cousin, on account of their father’s kindness to him; and thought proper to let him know that they thought he had robbed them of too much already.

“But since there was no appointment of this kind in the will, the young women, who inherited about each, felt it was fine to ignore their father's last words. Besides the fact that both of them were very protective of their money, they were also quite opposed to their cousin because of their father's generosity towards him. They decided to let him know that they believed he had taken too much from them already.”

“The poor young fellow was now greatly distrest; for he had yet above a year to stay at the university, without any visible means of sustaining himself there.

“The poor young guy was now really upset; he still had over a year left at the university, with no obvious way to support himself there.

“In this distress, however, he met with a friend, who had the good nature to lend him the sum of twenty pounds, for which he only accepted his bond for forty, and which was to be paid within a year after his being possessed of his living; that is, within a year after his becoming qualified to hold it.

“In this difficult time, he encountered a friend who generously lent him twenty pounds, accepting only his promise to pay back forty, which was to be settled within a year after he took on his position; that is, within a year after he became qualified to hold it.”

“With this small sum thus hardly obtained the poor gentleman made a shift to struggle with all difficulties till he became of due age to take upon himself the character of a deacon. He then repaired to that clergyman to whom his uncle had given the living upon the conditions above mentioned, to procure a title to ordination; but this, to his great surprize and mortification, was absolutely refused him.

“With this small amount barely obtained, the poor gentleman managed to navigate all difficulties until he reached the right age to take on the role of a deacon. He then went to the clergyman to whom his uncle had granted the position under the previously mentioned conditions, hoping to obtain a title for ordination; however, to his great surprise and disappointment, it was completely denied to him.”

“The immediate disappointment did not hurt him so much as the conclusion he drew from it; for he could have but little hopes that the man who could have the cruelty to refuse him a title would vouchsafe afterwards to deliver up to him a living of so considerable a value; nor was it long before this worthy incumbent told him plainly that he valued his uncle’s favours at too high a rate to part with them to any one; nay, he pretended scruples of conscience, and said that, if he had made any slight promises, which he did not now well remember, they were wicked and void; that he looked upon himself as married to his parish, and he could no more give it up than he could give up his wife without sin.

“The immediate disappointment didn’t hurt him as much as the conclusion he drew from it; he had little hope that a man capable of being cruel enough to deny him a title would later hand over such a valuable position. It wasn’t long before this esteemed incumbent clearly told him that he valued his uncle’s favors too highly to share them with anyone. In fact, he made a show of having scruples and claimed that if he had made any minor promises, which he didn’t really remember, they were wrong and invalid. He considered himself married to his parish and said he could no more give it up than he could abandon his wife without it being sinful.”

“The poor young fellow was now obliged to seek farther for a title, which, at length, he obtained from the rector of the parish where my aunt lived.

“The poor young guy was now forced to look elsewhere for a title, which, in the end, he got from the rector of the parish where my aunt lived.”

“He had not long been settled in the curacy before an intimate acquaintance grew between him and my aunt; for she was a great admirer of the clergy, and used frequently to say they were the only conversible creatures in the country.

“He hadn't been in the curacy for long before he became close with my aunt; she was a big fan of the clergy and often said they were the only interesting people in the country."

“The first time she was in this gentleman’s company was at a neighbour’s christening, where she stood godmother. Here she displayed her whole little stock of knowledge, in order to captivate Mr. Bennet (I suppose, madam, you already guess that to have been his name), and before they parted gave him a very strong invitation to her house.

“The first time she was with this gentleman was at a neighbor’s christening, where she was the godmother. Here she showed off her entire limited knowledge to impress Mr. Bennet (I assume, ma'am, you already figured out that was his name), and before they left, she extended a strong invitation for him to visit her at her home.”

“Not a word passed at this christening between Mr. Bennet and myself, but our eyes were not unemployed. Here, madam, I first felt a pleasing kind of confusion, which I know not how to describe. I felt a kind of uneasiness, yet did not wish to be without it. I longed to be alone, yet dreaded the hour of parting. I could not keep my eyes off from the object which caused my confusion, and which I was at once afraid of and enamoured with. But why do I attempt to describe my situation to one who must, I am sure, have felt the same?”

“Not a word was exchanged during this christening between Mr. Bennet and me, but our eyes were very active. Here, madam, I first experienced a charming sort of confusion that I can’t quite put into words. I felt a kind of unease, but didn’t want it to go away. I wanted to be alone but also dreaded the moment of saying goodbye. I couldn’t take my eyes off the person who caused my confusion, someone I was both afraid of and infatuated with. But why am I trying to explain my feelings to someone who I’m sure has felt the same?”

Amelia smiled, and Mrs. Bennet went on thus: “O, Mrs. Booth! had you seen the person of whom I am now speaking, you would not condemn the suddenness of my love. Nay, indeed, I had seen him there before, though this was the first time I had ever heard the music of his voice. Oh! it was the sweetest that was ever heard.

Amelia smiled, and Mrs. Bennet continued: “Oh, Mrs. Booth! If you had seen the person I’m talking about, you wouldn’t judge my sudden love. I had seen him there before, but this was the first time I ever heard his voice. It was the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard.”

“Mr. Bennet came to visit my aunt the very next day. She imputed this respectful haste to the powerful charms of her understanding, and resolved to lose no opportunity in improving the opinion which she imagined he had conceived of her. She became by this desire quite ridiculous, and ran into absurdities and a gallimatia scarce credible.

“Mr. Bennet came to visit my aunt the very next day. She attributed this respectful urgency to her impressive intelligence and decided to take every chance to enhance the impression she thought he had of her. This desire made her quite ridiculous, leading her to engage in absurdity and a jumble of words that was hardly believable.”

“Mr. Bennet, as I afterwards found, saw her in the same light with myself; but, as he was a very sensible and well-bred man, he so well concealed his opinion from us both, that I was almost angry, and she was pleased even to raptures, declaring herself charmed with his understanding, though, indeed, he had said very little; but I believe he heard himself into her good opinion, while he gazed himself into love.

“Mr. Bennet, as I later discovered, viewed her in the same way I did; but, being a very sensible and well-mannered man, he skillfully hid his thoughts from both of us. I was almost annoyed, while she was thrilled, proclaiming that she was enchanted by his insight, even though he had hardly said anything. However, I think he won her over with his listening while he fell for her by simply looking.”

“The two first visits which Mr. Bennet made to my aunt, though I was in the room all the time, I never spoke a word; but on the third, on some argument which arose between them, Mr. Bennet referred himself to me. I took his side of the question, as indeed I must to have done justice, and repeated two or three words of Latin. My aunt reddened at this, and exprest great disdain of my opinion, declaring she was astonished that a man of Mr. Bennet’s understanding could appeal to the judgment of a silly girl; ‘Is she,’ said my aunt, bridling herself, ‘fit to decide between us?’ Mr. Bennet spoke very favourably of what I had said; upon which my aunt burst almost into a rage, treated me with downright scurrility, called me conceited fool, abused my poor father for having taught me Latin, which, she said, had made me a downright coxcomb, and made me prefer myself to those who were a hundred times my superiors in knowledge. She then fell foul on the learned languages, declared they were totally useless, and concluded that she had read all that was worth reading, though, she thanked heaven, she understood no language but her own.

“The first two times Mr. Bennet visited my aunt, I was in the room the whole time but didn’t say a word. However, during the third visit, a disagreement broke out between them, and Mr. Bennet turned to me for input. I sided with him, as I felt it was only fair, and repeated a couple of Latin phrases. My aunt flushed at this and showed great disdain for my opinion, saying she was shocked that a man as smart as Mr. Bennet would seek the judgment of a silly girl. ‘Is she,’ my aunt snapped, ‘capable of deciding this issue between us?’ Mr. Bennet spoke highly of what I had said, which nearly sent my aunt into a fit of rage. She insulted me directly, calling me a conceited fool, criticized my poor father for teaching me Latin, claiming it had turned me into a pretentious idiot who thought I was better than those who were far more knowledgeable than me. She then attacked the value of learned languages, insisted they were completely useless, and concluded that she’d read everything worth reading, though she was grateful she only understood her own language.”

“Before the end of this visit Mr. Bennet reconciled himself very well to my aunt, which, indeed, was no difficult task for him to accomplish; but from that hour she conceived a hatred and rancour towards me which I could never appease.

“Before the end of this visit, Mr. Bennet got along quite well with my aunt, which was really an easy task for him. But from that moment on, she developed a deep hatred and resentment towards me that I could never soothe.”

“My aunt had, from my first coming into her house, expressed great dislike to my learning. In plain truth, she envied me that advantage. This envy I had long ago discovered, and had taken great pains to smother it, carefully avoiding ever to mention a Latin word in her presence, and always submitting to her authority; for indeed I despised her ignorance too much to dispute with her. By these means I had pretty well succeeded, and we lived tolerably together; but the affront paid to her understanding by Mr. Bennet in my favour was an injury never to be forgiven to me. She took me severely to task that very evening, and reminded me of going to service in such earnest terms as almost amounted to literally turning me out of doors; advising me, in the most insulting manner, to keep my Latin to myself, which she said was useless to any one, but ridiculous when pretended to by a servant.

“My aunt had, from the moment I first entered her house, shown a strong dislike for my learning. To be honest, she envied me that advantage. I had figured out her jealousy a long time ago and had worked hard to hide it, carefully avoiding any mention of Latin in front of her and always submitting to her authority; after all, I looked down on her ignorance too much to argue with her. Because of this, I had managed to get along reasonably well with her; but the insult to her intelligence from Mr. Bennet on my behalf was something she could never forgive me for. That very evening, she sternly lectured me and insisted that I go into service, scolding me in such harsh terms that it was almost like she was literally throwing me out. She advised me, in the most insulting way, to keep my Latin to myself, claiming it was useless to anyone, but ridiculous for a servant to pretend to know.”

“The next visit Mr. Bennet made at our house I was not suffered to be present. This was much the shortest of all his visits; and when he went away he left my aunt in a worse humour than ever I had seen her. The whole was discharged on me in the usual manner, by upbraiding me with my learning, conceit, and poverty; reminding me of obligations, and insisting on my going immediately to service. With all this I was greatly pleased, as it assured me that Mr. Bennet had said something to her in my favour; and I would have purchased a kind expression of his at almost any price.

“The next time Mr. Bennet visited our house, I wasn’t allowed to be there. It was definitely the shortest of all his visits, and when he left, my aunt was in a worse mood than I had ever seen her. She let it all out on me as usual, scolding me for my learning, arrogance, and poverty; reminding me of my obligations, and insisting that I should go into service right away. Despite all this, I was actually quite pleased because it meant that Mr. Bennet had said something nice about me to her; I would have done anything for a kind word from him.”

“I should scarce, however, have been so sanguine as to draw this conclusion, had I not received some hints that I had not unhappily placed my affections on a man who made me no return; for, though he had scarce addressed a dozen sentences to me (for, indeed, he had no opportunity), yet his eyes had revealed certain secrets to mine with which I was not displeased.

“I would hardly have been so optimistic as to reach this conclusion if I hadn’t received hints that I had not foolishly placed my affections on a man who didn’t feel the same way; for, although he had hardly spoken a dozen sentences to me (since he truly had no chance to), his eyes had revealed certain secrets to mine that I wasn’t unhappy about.”

“I remained, however, in a state of anxiety near a month; sometimes pleasing myself with thinking Mr. Bennet’s heart was in the same situation with my own; sometimes doubting that my wishes had flattered and deceived me, and not in the least questioning that my aunt was my rival; for I thought no woman could be proof against the charms that had subdued me. Indeed, Mrs. Booth, he was a charming young fellow; I must—I must pay this tribute to his memory. O, gracious Heaven! why, why did I ever see him? why was I doomed to such misery?” Here she burst into a flood of tears, and remained incapable of speech for some time; during which the gentle Amelia endeavoured all she could to soothe her, and gave sufficient marks of sympathizing in the tender affliction of her friend.

“I stayed in a state of anxiety for nearly a month; sometimes convincing myself that Mr. Bennet felt the same way I did; other times doubting that my hopes had misled me, and I certainly didn’t doubt that my aunt was my competition; I thought no woman could resist the charms that had captured me. Truly, Mrs. Booth, he was a charming young man; I have to—I have to acknowledge this about him. Oh, gracious Heaven! Why, why did I ever meet him? Why was I cursed with such despair?” At this, she broke down in tears and was unable to speak for some time, during which the gentle Amelia did everything she could to comfort her and showed clear signs of empathizing with her friend’s heartbreak.

Mrs. Bennet, at length, recovered her spirits, and proceeded, as in the next chapter.

Mrs. Bennet finally regained her spirits and continued, as in the next chapter.










Chapter v. — The story of Mrs. Bennet continued.

I scarce know where I left off—Oh! I was, I think, telling you that I esteemed my aunt as my rival; and it is not easy to conceive a greater degree of detestation than I had for her; and what may, perhaps, appear strange, as she daily grew more and more civil to me, my hatred encreased with her civility; for I imputed it all to her triumph over me, and to her having secured, beyond all apprehension, the heart I longed for.

I hardly remember where I left off—Oh! I was, I think, telling you that I saw my aunt as my rival; and it’s hard to imagine a greater level of hatred than what I felt for her. And what might seem strange is that as she became more and more polite to me, my hatred only grew with her politeness; I attributed it all to her victory over me and her complete success in winning the heart I so desperately wanted.

“How was I surprized when, one day, with as much good-humour as she was mistress of (for her countenance was not very pleasing), she asked me how I liked Mr. Bennet? The question, you will believe, madam, threw me into great confusion, which she plainly perceived, and, without waiting for my answer, told me she was very well satisfied, for that it did not require her discernment to read my thoughts in my countenance. ‘Well, child,’ she said, ‘I have suspected this a great while, and I believe it will please you to know that I yesterday made the same discovery in your lover.’ This, I confess to you, was more than I could well bear, and I begged her to say no more to me at that time on that subject. ‘Nay, child,’ answered she, ‘I must tell you all, or I should not act a friendly part. Mr. Bennet, I am convinced, hath a passion for you; but it is a passion which, I think, you should not encourage. For, to be plain with you, I fear he is in love with your person only. Now this is a love, child, which cannot produce that rational happiness which a woman of sense ought to expect.’ In short, she ran on with a great deal of stuff about rational happiness, and women of sense, and concluded with assuring me that, after the strictest scrutiny, she could not find that Mr. Bennet had an adequate opinion of my understanding; upon which she vouchsafed to make me many compliments, but mixed with several sarcasms concerning my learning.

“How surprised was I when, one day, as cheerfully as she could manage (since her face wasn't very attractive), she asked me how I felt about Mr. Bennet? The question, as you can imagine, threw me into a state of great confusion, which she clearly noticed. Without waiting for my response, she told me she was very pleased because it didn’t take much insight for her to see my thoughts reflected in my expression. ‘Well, dear,’ she said, ‘I’ve suspected this for quite a while, and I believe you’ll be glad to know that I made the same discovery about your admirer yesterday.’ I confess this was more than I could handle, and I asked her to drop the subject at that moment. ‘Oh, dear,’ she replied, ‘I must tell you everything, or I wouldn’t be acting as a friend. I’m convinced Mr. Bennet has feelings for you; however, it’s a type of affection that I think you shouldn’t encourage. To be frank with you, I worry he’s only in love with your looks. This kind of love, dear, won’t bring the kind of rational happiness a sensible woman should expect.’ In short, she continued with a lot of talk about rational happiness and sensible women and ended by assuring me that, after the closest observation, she couldn’t find that Mr. Bennet had a proper opinion of my intelligence. She then proceeded to give me numerous compliments, but mixed in several jabs about my education.”

“I hope, madam, however,” said she to Amelia, “you have not so bad an opinion of my capacity as to imagine me dull enough to be offended with Mr. Bennet’s sentiments, for which I presently knew so well to account. I was, indeed, charmed with his ingenuity, who had discovered, perhaps, the only way of reconciling my aunt to those inclinations which I now assured myself he had for me.

“I hope, ma'am,” she said to Amelia, “that you don’t think so little of my intelligence as to believe I would be offended by Mr. Bennet’s feelings, which I could easily understand. I was truly impressed by his cleverness, as he seemed to have found the only way to make my aunt accept the feelings I was now certain he had for me.”

“I was not long left to support my hopes by my sagacity. He soon found an opportunity of declaring his passion. He did this in so forcible though gentle a manner, with such a profusion of fervency and tenderness at once, that his love, like a torrent, bore everything before it; and I am almost ashamed to own to you how very soon he prevailed upon me to—to—in short, to be an honest woman, and to confess to him the plain truth.

“I didn't have to rely on my cleverness for long. He quickly found a chance to express his feelings. He did this in a way that was both powerful and gentle, with so much passion and tenderness that his love swept everything away. I’m almost embarrassed to admit how quickly he convinced me to—to—in short, to become an honest woman and to tell him the straightforward truth.”

“When we were upon a good footing together he gave me a long relation of what had past at several interviews with my aunt, at which I had not been present. He said he had discovered that, as she valued herself chiefly on her understanding, so she was extremely jealous of mine, and hated me on account of my learning. That, as he had loved me passionately from his first seeing me, and had thought of nothing from that time but of throwing himself at my feet, he saw no way so open to propitiate my aunt as that which he had taken by commending my beauty, a perfection to which she had long resigned all claim, at the expense of my understanding, in which he lamented my deficiency to a degree almost of ridicule. This he imputed chiefly to my learning; on this occasion he advanced a sentiment which so pleased my aunt that she thought proper to make it her own; for I heard it afterwards more than once from her own mouth. Learning, he said, had the same effect on the mind that strong liquors have on the constitution; both tending to eradicate all our natural fire and energy. His flattery had made such a dupe of my aunt that she assented, without the least suspicion of his sincerity, to all he said; so sure is vanity to weaken every fortress of the understanding, and to betray us to every attack of the enemy.

“When we were getting along well, he told me a detailed story about what had happened during several meetings with my aunt, which I hadn’t attended. He said he had realized that, since she took pride mainly in her intelligence, she was very jealous of mine and disliked me because of my knowledge. He confessed that he had been infatuated with me since the first time he saw me and had thought only about throwing himself at my feet since then. He believed the best way to win over my aunt was by praising my beauty, a quality she had long given up claiming in exchange for my intellect, which he mocked as a shortcoming. He attributed this mainly to my education; on this occasion, he mentioned a thought that pleased my aunt so much that she took it as her own, as I heard her repeat it more than once later. He stated that learning affects the mind in the same way strong drinks affect the body; both tend to diminish our natural passion and energy. His flattery had duped my aunt so completely that she agreed with everything he said, without any doubt about his honesty; such is the way vanity can weaken every fortress of understanding and make us vulnerable to every attack from our foes.”

“You will believe, madam, that I readily forgave him all he had said, not only from that motive which I have mentioned, but as I was assured he had spoke the reverse of his real sentiments. I was not, however, quite so well pleased with my aunt, who began to treat me as if I was really an idiot. Her contempt, I own, a little piqued me; and I could not help often expressing my resentment, when we were alone together, to Mr. Bennet, who never failed to gratify me by making her conceit the subject of his wit; a talent which he possessed in the most extraordinary degree.

“You'll believe, ma'am, that I easily forgave him for everything he said, not just because of the reason I mentioned, but because I was sure he was just saying the opposite of what he really felt. However, I wasn't quite as happy with my aunt, who started treating me like I was really an idiot. I have to admit, her disdain bothered me a bit; and I often found myself expressing my frustration to Mr. Bennet when we were alone, who always made me feel better by using her arrogance as a topic for his humor—a skill he had in an exceptional way.”

“This proved of very fatal consequence; for one day, while we were enjoying my aunt in a very thick arbour in the garden, she stole upon us unobserved, and overheard our whole conversation. I wish, my dear, you understood Latin, that I might repeat you a sentence in which the rage of a tigress that hath lost her young is described. No English poet, as I remember, hath come up to it; nor am I myself equal to the undertaking. She burst in upon us, open-mouthed, and after discharging every abusive word almost, in the only language she understood, on poor Mr. Bennet, turned us both out of doors, declaring she would send my rags after me, but would never more permit me to set my foot within her threshold.

“This proved to be very disastrous; one day, while we were enjoying my aunt in a dense arbor in the garden, she crept up on us unnoticed and overheard our entire conversation. I wish, my dear, you understood Latin, so I could share a sentence that describes the rage of a tigress that has lost her young. No English poet, as I recall, has matched it; nor am I myself capable of the task. She burst in on us, mouth agape, and after unleashing nearly every abusive word she knew in the only language she understood at poor Mr. Bennet, she kicked us both out, declaring she would send my belongings after me but would never again allow me to set foot inside her house.

“Consider, dear madam, to what a wretched condition we were now reduced. I had not yet received the small legacy left me by my father; nor was Mr. Bennet master of five pounds in the whole world.

“Think about, dear madam, how miserable our situation has become. I still hadn't received the small inheritance my father left me; nor did Mr. Bennet have even five pounds to his name.”

“In this situation, the man I doated on to distraction had but little difficulty to persuade me to a proposal which, indeed, I thought generous in him to make, as it seemed to proceed from that tenderness for my reputation to which he ascribed it; indeed, it could proceed from no motive with which I should have been displeased. In a word, within two days we were man and wife.

“In this situation, the man I admired to the point of obsession had no trouble convincing me to accept a proposal that I genuinely thought was generous of him to suggest, as it seemed to come from his concern for my reputation, which he claimed was the reason. Honestly, there was no motivation behind it that I could have disliked. In short, within two days, we were husband and wife.”

“Mr. Bennet now declared himself the happiest of men; and, for my part, I sincerely declared I envied no woman upon earth. How little, alas! did I then know or suspect the price I was to pay for all my joys! A match of real love is, indeed, truly paradise; and such perfect happiness seems to be the forbidden fruit to mortals, which we are to lament having tasted during the rest of our lives.

“Mr. Bennet now declared that he was the happiest man alive; and, for my part, I honestly said I envied no woman on earth. How little, unfortunately, did I then know or suspect the cost I would pay for all my happiness! A genuine love match is, indeed, true paradise; and such complete happiness seems to be the forbidden fruit for us mortals, which we will regret having tasted for the rest of our lives.”

“The first uneasiness which attacked us after our marriage was on my aunt’s account. It was very disagreeable to live under the nose of so near a relation, who did not acknowledge us, but on the contrary, was ever doing us all the ill turns in her power, and making a party against us in the parish, which is always easy enough to do amongst the vulgar against persons who are their superiors in rank, and, at the same time, their inferiors in fortune. This made Mr. Bennet think of procuring an exchange, in which intention he was soon after confirmed by the arrival of the rector. It was the rector’s custom to spend three months every year at his living, for which purpose he reserved an apartment in his parsonage-house, which was full large enough for two such little families as then occupied it. We at first promised ourselves some little convenience from his boarding with us; and Mr. Bennet began to lay aside his thoughts of leaving his curacy, at least for some time. But these golden ideas presently vanished; for, though we both used our utmost endeavours to please him, we soon found the impossibility of succeeding. He was, indeed, to give you his character in a word, the most peevish of mortals. This temper, notwithstanding that he was both a good and a pious man, made his company so insufferable that nothing could compensate it. If his breakfast was not ready to a moment—if a dish of meat was too much or too little done—in short, if anything failed of exactly hitting his taste, he was sure to be out of humour all that day, so that, indeed, he was scarce ever in a good temper a whole day together; for fortune seems to take a delight in thwarting this kind of disposition, to which human life, with its many crosses and accidents, is, in truth, by no means fitted.

“The first concern we had after getting married was about my aunt. It was really unpleasant to live so close to a relative who didn’t acknowledge us and was always trying to undermine us, rallying others in the parish against us. It’s easy for people to turn against those who are above them socially but not as well off financially. This situation made Mr. Bennet consider finding another position as a clergyman, and he was encouraged in this thought by the arrival of the rector. The rector usually spent three months each year at his parish, keeping a room in his parsonage that was more than enough for the two little families living there at that time. At first, we thought we might benefit from having him stay with us, and Mr. Bennet started to put aside his plans of leaving his curacy, at least for a while. However, those hopeful ideas quickly faded because, no matter how hard we tried to please him, we found it impossible to succeed. To sum up his character, he was the most irritable person imaginable. Despite being a good and moral man, his temperament made his company unbearable; nothing could make up for it. If his breakfast wasn’t ready on time, if the meat was overcooked or undercooked, or if anything didn’t meet his exact preferences, he would be in a bad mood all day. In fact, he was hardly ever in a good mood for an entire day, as fate seemed to enjoy frustrating his type of disposition, which is not suited to the many ups and downs of human life.”

“Mr. Bennet was now, by my desire as well as his own, determined to quit the parish; but when he attempted to get an exchange, he found it a matter of more difficulty than he had apprehended; for the rector’s temper was so well known among the neighbouring clergy, that none of them could be brought to think of spending three months in a year with him.

“Mr. Bennet was now, both at my request and his own, set on leaving the parish; but when he tried to arrange an exchange, he discovered it was more difficult than he had expected. The rector’s reputation for being difficult was so widely known among the local clergy that no one was willing to spend three months a year with him.”

“After many fruitless enquiries, Mr. Bennet thought best to remove to London, the great mart of all affairs, ecclesiastical and civil. This project greatly pleased him, and he resolved, without more delay, to take his leave of the rector, which he did in the most friendly manner possible, and preached his farewell sermon; nor was there a dry eye in the church, except among the few, whom my aunt, who remained still inexorable, had prevailed upon to hate us without any cause.

“After many fruitless inquiries, Mr. Bennet thought it best to move to London, the hub of all business, both religious and civil. This plan made him very happy, and he decided, without further delay, to say goodbye to the rector, which he did as kindly as possible, and delivered his farewell sermon; not a single person in the church was dry-eyed, except for a few whom my aunt, who remained unforgiving, had persuaded to dislike us for no reason.”

“To London we came, and took up our lodging the first night at the inn where the stage-coach set us down: the next morning my husband went out early on his business, and returned with the good news of having heard of a curacy, and of having equipped himself with a lodging in the neighbourhood of a worthy peer, ‘who,’ said he, ‘was my fellow-collegiate; and, what is more, I have a direction to a person who will advance your legacy at a very reasonable rate.’

“To London we went, and spent our first night at the inn where the stagecoach dropped us off. The next morning, my husband left early for work and came back with great news: he had found a curacy and secured a place to stay near a respected peer, ‘who,’ he said, ‘was my old college mate; and, what’s even better, I have a contact who will help with your inheritance at a very fair price.’”

“This last particular was extremely agreeable to me, for our last guinea was now broached; and the rector had lent my husband ten pounds to pay his debts in the country, for, with all his peevishness, he was a good and a generous man, and had, indeed, so many valuable qualities, that I lamented his temper, after I knew him thoroughly, as much on his account as on my own.

“This last detail was very pleasing to me because we had just spent our last guinea; and the rector had lent my husband ten pounds to settle his debts in the country. Despite all his grumpiness, he was a good and generous man, and he truly had so many valuable qualities that I regretted his temper, knowing him well, as much for his sake as for mine.”

“We now quitted the inn and went to our lodgings, where my husband having placed me in safety, as he said, he went about the business of the legacy with good assurance of success.

“We left the inn and went to our place. Once my husband made sure I was safe, as he put it, he confidently got to work on dealing with the legacy.”

“My husband returned elated with his success, the person to whom he applied having undertaken to advance the legacy, which he fulfilled as soon as the proper enquiries could be made, and proper instruments prepared for that purpose.

“My husband came back thrilled with his success, the person he approached having agreed to move forward with the legacy, which he completed as soon as the necessary inquiries could be conducted and the proper documents prepared for that purpose.”

“This, however, took up so much time, that, as our fund was so very low, we were reduced to some distress, and obliged to live extremely penurious; nor would all do without my taking a most disagreeable way of procuring money by pawning one of my gowns.

“This, however, took up so much time that, since our funds were so low, we were in quite a bit of distress and had to live very frugally; nor would it all work out without me resorting to the very unpleasant option of pawning one of my dresses.”

“Mr. Bennet was now settled in a curacy in town, greatly to his satisfaction, and our affairs seemed to have a prosperous aspect, when he came home to me one morning in much apparent disorder, looking as pale as death, and begged me by some means or other to get him a dram, for that he was taken with a sudden faintness and lowness of spirits.

“Mr. Bennet was now settled in a small town job, which made him very happy, and everything seemed to be going well for us, when he came home one morning looking really disheveled, pale as a ghost, and asked me to somehow get him a drink, because he was feeling suddenly faint and down.”

“Frighted as I was, I immediately ran downstairs, and procured some rum of the mistress of the house; the first time, indeed, I ever knew him drink any. When he came to himself he begged me not to be alarmed, for it was no distemper, but something that had vexed him, which had caused his disorder, which he had now perfectly recovered.

“Scared as I was, I quickly ran downstairs and got some rum from the lady of the house; it was actually the first time I had ever seen him drink any. When he came to his senses, he asked me not to worry, saying it wasn't an illness, but something that had upset him, which had caused his condition, and now he was completely fine.”

“He then told me the whole affair. He had hitherto deferred paying a visit to the lord whom I mentioned to have been formerly his fellow-collegiate, and was now his neighbour, till he could put himself in decent rigging. He had now purchased a new cassock, hat, and wig, and went to pay his respects to his old acquaintance, who had received from him many civilities and assistances in his learning at the university, and had promised to return them fourfold hereafter.

“He then shared the entire story with me. He had previously postponed visiting the lord I mentioned, who used to be his college mate and was now his neighbor, until he could dress appropriately. He had now bought a new cassock, hat, and wig, and went to pay his respects to his old friend, who had received many kind gestures and help from him during their time at university and had promised to return the favor fourfold in the future.”

“It was not without some difficulty that Mr. Bennet got into the antechamber. Here he waited, or as the phrase is, cooled his heels, for above an hour before he saw his lordship; nor had he seen him then but by an accident; for my lord was going out when he casually intercepted him in his passage to his chariot. He approached to salute him with some familiarity, though with respect, depending on his former intimacy, when my lord, stepping short, very gravely told him he had not the pleasure of knowing him. How! my lord, said he, can you have so soon forgot your old acquaintance Tom Bennet? O, Mr. Bennet! cries his lordship, with much reserve, is it you? you will pardon my memory. I am glad to see you, Mr. Bennet, but you must excuse me at present, for I am in very great haste. He then broke from him, and without more ceremony, or any further invitation, went directly into his chariot.

“It wasn’t easy for Mr. Bennet to get into the antechamber. He waited, or as the saying goes, cooled his heels, for over an hour before he saw his lordship; and even then, it was by chance, as my lord was leaving when he ran into him on his way to the carriage. He approached to greet him somewhat warmly, though respectfully, relying on their past acquaintance, when my lord abruptly stopped and very seriously told him he didn’t have the pleasure of knowing him. “What! My lord,” he said, “have you really forgotten your old friend Tom Bennet so quickly?” “Oh, Mr. Bennet!” exclaimed his lordship, with considerable restraint, “is it you? Please pardon my memory. I’m pleased to see you, Mr. Bennet, but I must ask you to excuse me for now, as I’m in quite a hurry.” He then left him, without any further formalities or invitations, and headed straight for his carriage.

“This cold reception from a person for whom my husband had a real friendship, and from whom he had great reason to expect a very warm return of affection, so affected the poor man, that it caused all those symptoms which I have mentioned before.

“This cold welcome from someone with whom my husband had a genuine friendship, and from whom he had every reason to expect a very warm response of affection, really upset the poor man, triggering all those symptoms I mentioned earlier.”

“Though this incident produced no material consequence, I could not pass it over in silence, as, of all the misfortunes which ever befel him, it affected my husband the most. I need not, however, to a woman of your delicacy, make any comments on a behaviour which, though I believe it is very common, is, nevertheless, cruel and base beyond description, and is diametrically opposite to true honour as well as to goodness.

“Even though this incident didn’t have any serious consequences, I couldn’t ignore it because, of all the misfortunes he faced, it affected my husband the most. I don’t need to explain to a woman of your sensitivity that this behavior, while I believe it’s quite common, is truly cruel and dishonorable, completely against true honor and goodness.”

“To relieve the uneasiness which my husband felt on account of his false friend, I prevailed with him to go every night, almost for a fortnight together, to the play; a diversion of which he was greatly fond, and from which he did not think his being a clergyman excluded him; indeed, it is very well if those austere persons who would be inclined to censure him on this head have themselves no greater sins to answer for.

“To ease the discomfort my husband felt because of his false friend, I convinced him to go to the theater almost every night for about two weeks. He really enjoyed it, and he didn't believe that being a clergyman should stop him from doing so. In fact, it's quite rich if those serious types who might criticize him for this have no greater sins of their own to deal with.”

“From this time, during three months, we past our time very agreeably, a little too agreeably perhaps for our circumstances; for, however innocent diversions may be in other respects, they must be owned to be expensive. When you consider then, madam, that our income from the curacy was less than forty pounds a year, and that, after payment of the debt to the rector, and another to my aunt, with the costs in law which she had occasioned by suing for it, my legacy was reduced to less than seventy pounds, you will not wonder that, in diversions, cloaths, and the common expenses of life, we had almost consumed our whole stock.

“During the next three months, we spent our time quite happily, maybe a bit too happily for our situation; because, while entertaining activities might seem harmless in many ways, they do tend to be costly. When you consider, madam, that our income from the curacy was under forty pounds a year, and that, after paying off the debt to the rector and another to my aunt, along with the legal fees she incurred by suing for it, my inheritance was cut down to less than seventy pounds, you won’t be surprised that, between entertainment, clothes, and everyday living expenses, we had nearly exhausted our entire savings.”

“The inconsiderate manner in which we had lived for some time will, I doubt not, appear to you to want some excuse; but I have none to make for it. Two things, however, now happened, which occasioned much serious reflexion to Mr. Bennet; the one was, that I grew near my time; the other, that he now received a letter from Oxford, demanding the debt of forty pounds which I mentioned to you before. The former of these he made a pretence of obtaining a delay for the payment of the latter, promising, in two months, to pay off half the debt, by which means he obtained a forbearance during that time.

“The thoughtless way we've been living for a while will probably seem inexcusable to you; but I don't have an excuse for it. However, two things happened that caused Mr. Bennet to seriously rethink things: first, I'm approaching my due date; second, he received a letter from Oxford, demanding the forty-pound debt I mentioned before. He pretended that he needed a delay for the payment of that debt, promising to pay half of it in two months, which got him some extra time.”

“I was now delivered of a son, a matter which should in reality have encreased our concern, but, on the contrary, it gave us great pleasure; greater indeed could not have been conceived at the birth of an heir to the most plentiful estate: so entirely thoughtless were we, and so little forecast had we of those many evils and distresses to which we had rendered a human creature, and one so dear to us, liable. The day of a christening is, in all families, I believe, a day of jubilee and rejoicing; and yet, if we consider the interest of that little wretch who is the occasion, how very little reason would the most sanguine persons have for their joy!

“I had just given birth to a son, which should have genuinely increased our worry, but instead, it brought us immense joy—more than one could imagine at the arrival of an heir to a vast estate. We were so carefree and had little foresight of the many troubles and hardships we had now made this beloved child vulnerable to. The day of a christening is, I believe, a celebration in every family; yet, if we consider the future of that little unfortunate one who is the reason for the occasion, those who are the most optimistic would have very little reason to celebrate!”

“But, though our eyes were too weak to look forward, for the sake of our child, we could not be blinded to those dangers that immediately threatened ourselves. Mr. Bennet, at the expiration of the two months, received a second letter from Oxford, in a very peremptory stile, and threatening a suit without any farther delay. This alarmed us in the strongest manner; and my husband, to secure his liberty, was advised for a while to shelter himself in the verge of the court.

“But, even though our eyes were too weak to look ahead, for the sake of our child, we couldn’t ignore the dangers that were directly threatening us. Mr. Bennet, after two months, received a second letter from Oxford, written in a very demanding tone, threatening legal action without further delay. This seriously alarmed us, and my husband was advised to stay close to the court for a while to protect his freedom.”

“And, now, madam, I am entering on that scene which directly leads to all my misery.”—Here she stopped, and wiped her eyes; and then, begging Amelia to excuse her for a few minutes, ran hastily out of the room, leaving Amelia by herself, while she refreshed her spirits with a cordial to enable her to relate what follows in the next chapter.

“And now, ma'am, I'm about to go into the part that leads to all my misery.” She paused, wiped her eyes, and then, asking Amelia to give her a few minutes, hurried out of the room, leaving Amelia alone while she took a drink to boost her spirits so she could share what happens next in the following chapter.










Chapter vi. — Farther continued.

Mrs. Bennet, returning into the room, made a short apology for her absence, and then proceeded in these words:

Mrs. Bennet came back into the room, quickly apologized for being away, and then said:

“We now left our lodging, and took a second floor in that very house where you now are, to which we were recommended by the woman where we had before lodged, for the mistresses of both houses were acquainted; and, indeed, we had been all at the play together. To this new lodging then (such was our wretched destiny) we immediately repaired, and were received by Mrs. Ellison (how can I bear the sound of that detested name?) with much civility; she took care, however, during the first fortnight of our residence, to wait upon us every Monday morning for her rent; such being, it seems, the custom of this place, which, as it was inhabited chiefly by persons in debt, is not the region of credit.

“We left our place and rented a second-floor apartment in the same building you’re in now, recommended by the woman we had stayed with before, since the owners of both places knew each other; in fact, we had all gone to the theater together. So, we immediately moved into this new apartment (such was our unfortunate fate), where we were greeted by Mrs. Ellison (how can I stand hearing that hated name?) with a lot of politeness. However, during the first two weeks of our stay, she made sure to come by every Monday morning for her rent; this was apparently the custom here, which, as it turned out, was mostly populated by people in debt, making it not a place for credit.”

“My husband, by the singular goodness of the rector, who greatly compassionated his case, was enabled to continue in his curacy, though he could only do the duty on Sundays. He was, however, sometimes obliged to furnish a person to officiate at his expence; so that our income was very scanty, and the poor little remainder of the legacy being almost spent, we were reduced to some difficulties, and, what was worse, saw still a prospect of greater before our eyes.

“My husband, thanks to the unique kindness of the rector, who really felt for his situation, was able to keep his position as a curate, even though he could only perform his duties on Sundays. However, he sometimes had to pay someone to fill in for him, which made our income very limited. With the small amount left from the inheritance almost gone, we found ourselves facing some challenges and, even worse, the possibility of more trouble ahead.”

“Under these circumstances, how agreeable to poor Mr. Bennet must have been the behaviour of Mrs. Ellison, who, when he carried her her rent on the usual day, told him, with a benevolent smile, that he needed not to give himself the trouble of such exact punctuality. She added that, if it was at any time inconvenient to him, he might pay her when he pleased. ‘To say the truth,’ says she, ‘I never was so much pleased with any lodgers in my life; I am convinced, Mr. Bennet, you are a very worthy man, and you are a very happy one too; for you have the prettiest wife and the prettiest child I ever saw’ These, dear madam, were the words she was pleased to make use of: and I am sure she behaved to me with such an appearance of friendship and affection, that, as I could not perceive any possible views of interest which she could have in her professions, I easily believed them real.

“Given the situation, how pleasant it must have been for poor Mr. Bennet to experience the behavior of Mrs. Ellison, who, when he brought her the rent on the usual day, told him with a kind smile that he didn’t need to worry about being so precisely on time. She added that if it ever became inconvenient for him, he could pay her whenever he liked. ‘To be honest,’ she said, ‘I’ve never been so happy with any lodgers in my life; I’m convinced, Mr. Bennet, that you’re a very good man, and you must be a very lucky one too, because you have the prettiest wife and the cutest child I’ve ever seen.’ Those, dear madam, were the words she chose to use. I am certain she treated me with such warmth and affection that, since I couldn’t see any possible self-interest in her compliments, I easily believed they were genuine.”

“There lodged in the same house—O, Mrs. Booth! the blood runs cold to my heart, and should run cold to yours, when I name him—there lodged in the same house a lord—the lord, indeed, whom I have since seen in your company. This lord, Mrs. Ellison told me, had taken a great fancy to my little Charley. Fool that I was, and blinded by my own passion, which made me conceive that an infant, not three months old, could be really the object of affection to any besides a parent, and more especially to a gay young fellow! But, if I was silly in being deceived, how wicked was the wretch who deceived me—who used such art, and employed such pains, such incredible pains, to deceive me! He acted the part of a nurse to my little infant; he danced it, he lulled it, he kissed it; declared it was the very picture of a nephew of his—his favourite sister’s child; and said so many kind and fond things of its beauty, that I myself, though, I believe, one of the tenderest and fondest of mothers, scarce carried my own ideas of my little darling’s perfection beyond the compliments which he paid it.

“There stayed in the same house—Oh, Mrs. Booth! My heart chills at the thought, and yours should too, when I mention him—there stayed in the same house a lord—the very lord whom I later saw with you. Mrs. Ellison told me that this lord had taken a great liking to my little Charley. Fool that I was, blinded by my own emotions, thinking that a baby who wasn’t even three months old could truly be the object of affection for anyone other than a parent, especially from a young man! But if I was foolish to be misled, how wicked was the scoundrel who deceived me—who used such cunning and went to such incredible lengths to fool me! He played the role of a caretaker to my infant; he danced with him, he rocked him, he kissed him; he claimed it was the spitting image of his nephew—his sister’s child; and he said so many sweet and affectionate things about its beauty that I, despite being one of the most loving and devoted mothers, barely thought of my own ideas of my darling's perfection beyond the compliments he gave it.

“My lord, however, perhaps from modesty, before my face, fell far short of what Mrs. Ellison reported from him. And now, when she found the impression which was made on me by these means, she took every opportunity of insinuating to me his lordship’s many virtues, his great goodness to his sister’s children in particular; nor did she fail to drop some hints which gave me the most simple and groundless hopes of strange consequences from his fondness to my Charley.

“My lord, however, perhaps out of modesty, didn't quite live up to what Mrs. Ellison had said about him. And now, having seen the effect this had on me, she took every chance to suggest his lordship’s many virtues, especially his kindness to his sister’s children; she also hinted at some things that gave me the most naive and unfounded hopes for unexpected outcomes from his affection for my Charley."

“When, by these means, which, simple as they may appear, were, perhaps, the most artful, my lord had gained something more, I think, than my esteem, he took the surest method to confirm himself in my affection. This was, by professing the highest friendship for my husband; for, as to myself, I do assure you he never shewed me more than common respect; and I hope you will believe I should have immediately startled and flown off if he had. Poor I accounted for all the friendship which he expressed for my husband, and all the fondness which he shewed to my boy, from the great prettiness of the one and the great merit of the other; foolishly conceiving that others saw with my eyes and felt with my heart. Little did I dream that my own unfortunate person was the fountain of all this lord’s goodness, and was the intended price of it.

“When, through these means, which, though simple in appearance, were perhaps the most skillful, my lord had gained something more than my esteem, he took the surest way to secure my affection. This was by professing deep friendship for my husband; as for me, I assure you he never showed me more than common respect, and I hope you believe that I would have been taken aback and backed off immediately if he had. I foolishly attributed all his friendship for my husband and the affection he showed toward my boy to the great charm of the one and the great qualities of the other, naively thinking that others perceived things as I did and felt as I felt. Little did I know that my own unfortunate self was the source of all this lord’s kindness, and that I was the intended prize for it."

“One evening, as I was drinking tea with Mrs. Ellison by my lord’s fire (a liberty which she never scrupled taking when he was gone out), my little Charley, now about half a year old, sitting in her lap, my lord—accidentally, no doubt, indeed I then thought it so—came in. I was confounded, and offered to go; but my lord declared, if he disturbed Mrs. Ellison’s company, as he phrased it, he would himself leave the room. When I was thus prevailed on to keep my seat, my lord immediately took my little baby into his lap, and gave it some tea there, not a little at the expense of his embroidery; for he was very richly drest; indeed, he was as fine a figure as perhaps ever was seen. His behaviour on this occasion gave me many ideas in his favour. I thought he discovered good sense, good nature, condescension, and other good qualities, by the fondness he shewed to my child, and the contempt he seemed to express for his finery, which so greatly became him; for I cannot deny but that he was the handsomest and genteelest person in the world, though such considerations advanced him not a step in my favour.

“One evening, while I was having tea with Mrs. Ellison by my lord’s fire (a privilege she never hesitated to take when he was out), my little Charley, now about six months old, was sitting in her lap when my lord—quite by chance, I assumed—walked in. I was startled and offered to leave, but my lord insisted that if he interrupted Mrs. Ellison’s company, as he put it, he would leave the room himself. When I was persuaded to stay, my lord promptly took my little baby into his lap and gave him some tea, albeit at the cost of his embroidery; he was dressed very elegantly, after all, and was possibly the finest-looking person anyone had seen. His behavior on this occasion made me think highly of him. I believed he showed good sense, kindness, humility, and other admirable qualities through his affection for my child, along with the way he seemed to disregard his own finery, which suited him so well; for I cannot deny that he was the most handsome and well-mannered person in the world, though such traits didn’t help my situation at all.”

“My husband now returned from church (for this happened on a Sunday), and was, by my lord’s particular desire, ushered into the room. My lord received him with the utmost politeness, and with many professions of esteem, which, he said, he had conceived from Mrs. Ellison’s representations of his merit. He then proceeded to mention the living which was detained from my husband, of which Mrs. Ellison had likewise informed him; and said, he thought it would be no difficult matter to obtain a restoration of it by the authority of the bishop, who was his particular friend, and to whom he would take an immediate opportunity of mentioning it. This, at last, he determined to do the very next day, when he invited us both to dinner, where we were to be acquainted with his lordship’s success.

“My husband just got back from church (since this was on a Sunday) and was, at my lord’s special request, brought into the room. My lord greeted him with great politeness and expressed multiple compliments of respect, which, he said, he had formed based on Mrs. Ellison’s comments about his worth. He then went on to refer to the position that was being withheld from my husband, which Mrs. Ellison had also told him about; and he mentioned that he thought it wouldn’t be hard to get it back through the bishop's authority, who was a personal friend of his, and whom he would talk to about it right away. He ultimately decided to do this the very next day when he invited us both to dinner, where we would hear about his lordship’s progress.”

“My lord now insisted on my husband’s staying supper with him, without taking any notice of me; but Mrs. Ellison declared he should not part man and wife, and that she herself would stay with me. The motion was too agreeable to me to be rejected; and, except the little time I retired to put my child to bed, we spent together the most agreeable evening imaginable; nor was it, I believe, easy to decide whether Mr. Bennet or myself were most delighted with his lordship and Mrs. Ellison; but this, I assure you, the generosity of the one, and the extreme civility and kindness of the other, were the subjects of our conversation all the ensuing night, during which we neither of us closed our eyes.

“My lord insisted that my husband stay for supper with him, completely ignoring me; but Mrs. Ellison made it clear that he wouldn’t separate man and wife, and that she would stay with me instead. I found this suggestion too appealing to refuse, and aside from the brief time I took to put my child to bed, we had the most enjoyable evening together. It was hard to say who was more pleased with his lordship and Mrs. Ellison, Mr. Bennet or me; but I can assure you that we spent the entire night talking about the generosity of one and the extreme politeness and kindness of the other, during which neither of us managed to sleep a wink.”

“The next day at dinner my lord acquainted us that he had prevailed with the bishop to write to the clergyman in the country; indeed, he told us that he had engaged the bishop to be very warm in our interest, and had not the least doubt of success. This threw us both into a flow of spirits; and in the afternoon Mr. Bennet, at Mrs. Ellison’s request, which was seconded by his lordship, related the history of our lives from our first acquaintance. My lord seemed much affected with some tender scenes, which, as no man could better feel, so none could better describe, than my husband. When he had finished, my lord begged pardon for mentioning an occurrence which gave him such a particular concern, as it had disturbed that delicious state of happiness in which we had lived at our former lodging. ‘It would be ungenerous,’ said he, ‘to rejoice at an accident which, though it brought me fortunately acquainted with two of the most agreeable people in the world, was yet at the expense of your mutual felicity. The circumstance, I mean, is your debt at Oxford; pray, how doth that stand? I am resolved it shall never disturb your happiness hereafter.’ At these words the tears burst from my poor husband’s eyes; and, in an ecstasy of gratitude, he cried out, ‘Your lordship overcomes me with generosity. If you go on in this manner, both my wife’s gratitude and mine must be bankrupt’ He then acquainted my lord with the exact state of the case, and received assurances from him that the debt should never trouble him. My husband was again breaking out into the warmest expressions of gratitude, but my lord stopt him short, saying, ‘If you have any obligation, it is to my little Charley here, from whose little innocent smiles I have received more than the value of this trifling debt in pleasure.’ I forgot to tell you that, when I offered to leave the room after dinner upon my child’s account, my lord would not suffer me, but ordered the child to be brought to me. He now took it out of my arms, placed it upon his own knee, and fed it with some fruit from the dessert. In short, it would be more tedious to you than to myself to relate the thousand little tendernesses he shewed to the child. He gave it many baubles; amongst the rest was a coral worth at least three pounds; and, when my husband was confined near a fortnight to his chamber with a cold, he visited the child every day (for to this infant’s account were all the visits placed), and seldom failed of accompanying his visit with a present to the little thing.

The next day at dinner, my lord told us he had convinced the bishop to write to the clergyman in the country; he even said that he got the bishop to be very supportive of our interests and had no doubt it would work out. This lifted our spirits. In the afternoon, Mr. Bennet, at Mrs. Ellison’s request, which my lord also supported, shared the story of our lives since we first met. My lord seemed deeply touched by some emotional moments, which my husband, being the best at feeling such things, also described beautifully. When he finished, my lord apologized for bringing up something that had troubled him, as it disrupted the happiness we enjoyed at our previous place. “It would be unkind,” he said, “to be happy about an incident that, while it led me to get to know two of the most delightful people in the world, was at the cost of your mutual happiness. The situation I’m talking about is your debt at Oxford; how is that going? I’m determined it will never be a burden to you again.” At those words, tears streamed from my poor husband’s eyes, and in a fit of gratitude, he exclaimed, “Your lordship overwhelms me with your kindness. If you continue like this, both my wife’s gratitude and mine will be bankrupt.” He then explained to my lord the exact situation regarding the debt and received assurances that it would never be a problem. My husband was starting to express his thanks again, but my lord cut him off, saying, “If you owe anyone, it’s my little Charley here, from whose sweet little smiles I’ve gained more joy than the value of this small debt.” I forgot to mention that when I tried to leave the room after dinner for my child’s sake, my lord wouldn’t let me and had the child brought to me. He then took the baby from my arms, set it on his knee, and fed it some fruit from the dessert. In short, it would take longer to tell you about all the little acts of affection he showed the child than to tell it myself. He gave the baby many toys, including a coral piece worth at least three pounds. And when my husband was stuck in his room for nearly two weeks with a cold, he visited the child every day (since all visits were made in the name of the infant), often bringing a gift for the little one.

“Here, Mrs. Booth, I cannot help mentioning a doubt which hath often arisen in my mind since I have been enough mistress of myself to reflect on this horrid train which was laid to blow up my innocence. Wicked and barbarous it was to the highest degree without any question; but my doubt is, whether the art or folly of it be the more conspicuous; for, however delicate and refined the art must be allowed to have been, the folly, I think, must upon a fair examination appear no less astonishing: for to lay all considerations of cruelty and crime out of the case, what a foolish bargain doth the man make for himself who purchases so poor a pleasure at so high a price!

“Here, Mrs. Booth, I can’t help bringing up a doubt that has often crossed my mind since I’ve been able to think for myself about this horrible scheme that was set to destroy my innocence. It was undeniably wicked and barbaric; however, my doubt is whether the skill or the foolishness of it is more striking. While the skill must surely be acknowledged as delicate and refined, I think the foolishness, upon closer inspection, is equally shocking. After all, aside from the cruelty and crime involved, what a foolish deal does the man make for himself when he buys such a trivial pleasure at such a steep price!”

“We had lived near three weeks with as much freedom as if we had been all of the same family, when, one afternoon, my lord proposed to my husband to ride down himself to solicit the surrender; for he said the bishop had received an unsatisfactory answer from the parson, and had writ a second letter more pressing, which his lordship now promised us to strengthen by one of his own that my husband was to carry with him. Mr. Bennet agreed to this proposal with great thankfulness, and the next day was appointed for his journey. The distance was near seventy miles.

“We had been living together for almost three weeks with as much freedom as if we were all family, when one afternoon, my lord suggested that my husband ride out himself to ask for the surrender. He mentioned that the bishop had gotten an unsatisfactory response from the parson and had drafted a second, more urgent letter, which my lord promised to strengthen with one of his own that my husband would take with him. Mr. Bennet gladly accepted this suggestion, and the next day was set for his journey. The distance was about seventy miles.”

“My husband set out on his journey, and he had scarce left me before Mrs. Ellison came into my room, and endeavoured to comfort me in his absence; to say the truth, though he was to be from me but a few days, and the purpose of his going was to fix our happiness on a sound foundation for all our future days, I could scarce support my spirits under this first separation. But though I then thought Mrs. Ellison’s intentions to be most kind and friendly, yet the means she used were utterly ineffectual, and appeared to me injudicious. Instead of soothing my uneasiness, which is always the first physic to be given to grief, she rallied me upon it, and began to talk in a very unusual stile of gaiety, in which she treated conjugal love with much ridicule.

“My husband set out on his journey, and he had hardly left me when Mrs. Ellison came into my room and tried to comfort me in his absence. To be honest, even though he would be gone for just a few days and the reason for his trip was to secure our happiness for all our future together, I could barely keep my spirits up during this first separation. While I believed Mrs. Ellison's intentions were kind and friendly, the way she approached it was completely ineffective and seemed misguided. Instead of easing my discomfort, which is the first remedy for grief, she made light of it and started talking with an unusual sense of cheerfulness, treating romantic love with a lot of mockery.

“I gave her to understand that she displeased me by this discourse; but she soon found means to give such a turn to it as made a merit of all she had said. And now, when she had worked me into a good humour, she made a proposal to me which I at first rejected—but at last fatally, too fatally, suffered myself to be over-persuaded. This was to go to a masquerade at Ranelagh, for which my lord had furnished her with tickets.”

“I let her know that I was annoyed by what she said; but she quickly found a way to twist it into something that made her look good. And now, after she had cheered me up, she made a suggestion that I initially turned down—but eventually, too easily, I allowed myself to be convinced. It was to go to a masquerade at Ranelagh, for which my lord had provided her with tickets.”

At these words Amelia turned pale as death, and hastily begged her friend to give her a glass of water, some air, or anything. Mrs. Bennet, having thrown open the window, and procured the water, which prevented Amelia from fainting, looked at her with much tenderness, and cried, “I do not wonder, my dear madam, that you are affected with my mentioning that fatal masquerade; since I firmly believe the same ruin was intended for you at the same place; the apprehension of which occasioned the letter I sent you this morning, and all the trial of your patience which I have made since.”

At these words, Amelia turned as pale as death and quickly asked her friend for a glass of water, some fresh air, or anything. Mrs. Bennet, having opened the window and gotten the water that prevented Amelia from fainting, looked at her with great concern and said, “I can’t blame you, my dear, for being affected by my mention of that disastrous masquerade; I truly believe that the same catastrophe was meant for you at that same event. The fear of this is what prompted the letter I sent you this morning, along with all the tests of your patience that I’ve put you through since.”

Amelia gave her a tender embrace, with many expressions of the warmest gratitude; assured her she had pretty well recovered her spirits, and begged her to continue her story, which Mrs. Bennet then did. However, as our readers may likewise be glad to recover their spirits also, we shall here put an end to this chapter.

Amelia gave her a warm hug, expressing deep gratitude; she reassured her that she had mostly gotten her spirits back and asked her to keep telling the story, which Mrs. Bennet did. However, since our readers might also want to lift their spirits, we will conclude this chapter here.










Chapter vii. — The story farther continued.

Mrs. Bennet proceeded thus:

Mrs. Bennet continued like this:

“I was at length prevailed on to accompany Mrs. Ellison to the masquerade. Here, I must confess, the pleasantness of the place, the variety of the dresses, and the novelty of the thing, gave me much delight, and raised my fancy to the highest pitch. As I was entirely void of all suspicion, my mind threw off all reserve, and pleasure only filled my thoughts. Innocence, it is true, possessed my heart; but it was innocence unguarded, intoxicated with foolish desires, and liable to every temptation. During the first two hours we had many trifling adventures not worth remembering. At length my lord joined us, and continued with me all the evening; and we danced several dances together.

“I was finally convinced to go with Mrs. Ellison to the masquerade. Here, I have to admit, the charm of the venue, the variety of the costumes, and the excitement of it all filled me with great joy and elevated my spirits to the highest level. Being completely unaware of any danger, I let go of all restraint, and only pleasure filled my mind. Innocence, it’s true, filled my heart; but it was an unguarded innocence, intoxicated by foolish desires and susceptible to every temptation. During the first two hours, we had many trivial adventures that aren’t worth recalling. Eventually, my lord joined us and stayed with me the entire evening, and we danced several dances together.

“I need not, I believe, tell you, madam, how engaging his conversation is. I wish I could with truth say I was not pleased with it; or, at least, that I had a right to be pleased with it. But I will disguise nothing from you. I now began to discover that he had some affection for me, but he had already too firm a footing in my esteem to make the discovery shocking. I will—I will own the truth; I was delighted with perceiving a passion in him, which I was not unwilling to think he had had from the beginning, and to derive his having concealed it so long from his awe of my virtue, and his respect to my understanding. I assure you, madam, at the same time, my intentions were never to exceed the bounds of innocence. I was charmed with the delicacy of his passion; and, in the foolish thoughtless turn of mind in which I then was, I fancied I might give some very distant encouragement to such a passion in such a man with the utmost safety—that I might indulge my vanity and interest at once, without being guilty of the least injury.

“I don’t think I need to tell you, madam, how engaging his conversation is. I wish I could honestly say I wasn’t pleased with it; or, at least, that I had a reason to be displeased. But I won’t hide anything from you. I have started to realize that he has some feelings for me, but he already had such a solid place in my esteem that this discovery wasn’t shocking. I will—I will admit the truth; I was thrilled to see a passion in him, which I hoped he had felt from the beginning, and I thought his long concealment of it stemmed from his admiration of my virtue and his respect for my intellect. I assure you, madam, at the same time, my intentions were never to cross the line of innocence. I was charmed by the tenderness of his feelings; and, in the naïve and carefree mindset I had at the time, I thought I could give some very subtle encouragement to such feelings in such a man, with complete safety—that I could indulge my vanity and interest at the same time, without causing any harm.

“I know Mrs. Booth will condemn all these thoughts, and I condemn them no less myself; for it is now my stedfast opinion that the woman who gives up the least outwork of her virtue doth, in that very moment, betray the citadel.

“I know Mrs. Booth will disapprove of all these thoughts, and I disapprove of them just as much myself; because it is now my firm belief that the woman who relinquishes even the smallest part of her virtue is, at that very moment, betraying the stronghold.”

“About two o’clock we returned home, and found a very handsome collation provided for us. I was asked to partake of it, and I did not, I could not refuse. I was not, however, entirely void of all suspicion, and I made many resolutions; one of which was, not to drink a drop more than my usual stint. This was, at the utmost, little more than half a pint of small punch.

“About two o’clock, we got back home and found a really nice spread laid out for us. I was invited to join in, and I couldn't say no. However, I wasn’t completely free of doubts, and I made several resolutions; one of which was to not drink more than my usual amount. This was, at most, just a little over half a pint of light punch.”

“I adhered strictly to my quantity; but in the quality I am convinced I was deceived; for before I left the room I found my head giddy. What the villain gave me I know not; but, besides being intoxicated, I perceived effects from it which are not to be described.

“I stuck to my limit; but in terms of quality, I’m sure I was tricked; because before I left the room, I felt dizzy. I don’t know what the scoundrel gave me; but aside from being drunk, I noticed effects from it that I can’t put into words."

“Here, madam, I must draw a curtain over the residue of that fatal night. Let it suffice that it involved me in the most dreadful ruin; a ruin to which I can truly say I never consented, and of which I was scarce conscious when the villanous man avowed it to my face in the morning.

“Here, ma'am, I have to put a curtain over the aftermath of that terrible night. It's enough to say that it led me to the most horrific downfall; a downfall that I can honestly say I never agreed to, and of which I was barely aware when the wicked man confessed it to my face in the morning.

“Thus I have deduced my story to the most horrid period; happy had I been had this been the period of my life, but I was reserved for greater miseries; but before I enter on them I will mention something very remarkable, with which I was now acquainted, and that will shew there was nothing of accident which had befallen me, but that all was the effect of a long, regular, premeditated design.

“Thus, I’ve summarized my story to the most terrible time; I would have been happy if this had been the period of my life, but I was destined for greater miseries. Before I dive into those, I want to mention something noteworthy that I’ve come to understand, which will show that nothing that happened to me was an accident, but rather all part of a long, planned, premeditated design.”

“You may remember, madam, I told you that we were recommended to Mrs. Ellison by the woman at whose house we had before lodged. This woman, it seems, was one of my lord’s pimps, and had before introduced me to his lordship’s notice.

“You may remember, ma'am, I told you that we were referred to Mrs. Ellison by the woman at whose place we had stayed before. This woman, it turns out, was one of my lord’s associates and had previously introduced me to his lordship’s attention."

“You are to know then, madam, that this villain, this lord, now confest to me that he had first seen me in the gallery at the oratorio, whither I had gone with tickets with which the woman where I first lodged had presented me, and which were, it seems, purchased by my lord. Here I first met the vile betrayer, who was disguised in a rug coat and a patch upon his face.”

“You should know then, ma'am, that this scoundrel, this lord, has just admitted to me that he first saw me in the gallery at the concert hall, where I went with tickets gifted to me by the woman I first lived with, and which, it turns out, were bought by my lord. That's where I first encountered the despicable traitor, who was disguised in a rug coat and had a patch on his face.”

At these words Amelia cried, “O, gracious heavens!” and fell back in her chair. Mrs. Bennet, with proper applications, brought her back to life; and then Amelia acquainted her that she herself had first seen the same person in the same place, and in the same disguise. “O, Mrs. Bennet!” cried she, “how am I indebted to you! what words, what thanks, what actions can demonstrate the gratitude of my sentiments! I look upon you, and always shall look upon you, as my preserver from the brink of a precipice, from which I was falling into the same ruin which you have so generously, so kindly, and so nobly disclosed for my sake.”

At these words, Amelia exclaimed, “Oh, my goodness!” and collapsed in her chair. Mrs. Bennet, with some care, brought her back to her senses; and then Amelia told her that she herself had first seen the same person in the same place and in the same disguise. “Oh, Mrs. Bennet!” she cried, “I can’t thank you enough! What words, what gratitude, what actions can show how thankful I am! I see you, and I will always see you, as my savior from the edge of a cliff, from which I was about to fall into the same disaster that you have so generously, kindly, and nobly revealed for my benefit.”

Here the two ladies compared notes; and it appeared that his lordship’s behaviour at the oratorio had been alike to both; that he had made use of the very same words, the very same actions to Amelia, which he had practised over before on poor unfortunate Mrs. Bennet. It may, perhaps, be thought strange that neither of them could afterwards recollect him; but so it was. And, indeed, if we consider the force of disguise, the very short time that either of them was with him at this first interview, and the very little curiosity that must have been supposed in the minds of the ladies, together with the amusement in which they were then engaged, all wonder will, I apprehend, cease. Amelia, however, now declared she remembered his voice and features perfectly well, and was thoroughly satisfied he was the same person. She then accounted for his not having visited in the afternoon, according to his promise, from her declared resolutions to Mrs. Ellison not to see him. She now burst forth into some very satirical invectives against that lady, and declared she had the art, as well as the wickedness, of the devil himself.

Here, the two ladies shared what they had experienced, and it turned out that his lordship had acted the same way with both of them; he used the exact same words and gestures with Amelia that he had previously used on poor unfortunate Mrs. Bennet. It might seem strange that neither of them could remember him afterward, but that’s how it was. In fact, if we think about the power of disguise, the very short time they spent with him during that first meeting, and the fact that they weren’t particularly curious, especially with all the fun they were having, it’s not so surprising. Amelia, however, now insisted she remembered his voice and appearance perfectly and was completely convinced he was the same person. She then explained why he hadn’t come to visit in the afternoon as he promised, attributing it to her stated decision to Mrs. Ellison not to see him. She then launched into some very sarcastic remarks about that lady and asserted that she possessed both the cunning and the wickedness of the devil himself.

Many congratulations now past from Mrs. Bennet to Amelia, which were returned with the most hearty acknowledgments from that lady. But, instead of filling our paper with these, we shall pursue Mrs. Bennet’s story, which she resumed as we shall find in the next chapter.

Many congratulations have been exchanged from Mrs. Bennet to Amelia, which were met with the warmest thanks from her. However, instead of inundating our paper with these, we will continue with Mrs. Bennet’s story, which she picks up again as we will see in the next chapter.










Chapter viii. — Further continuation.

“No sooner,” said Mrs. Bennet, continuing her story, “was my lord departed, than Mrs. Ellison came to me. She behaved in such a manner, when she became acquainted with what had past, that, though I was at first satisfied of her guilt, she began to stagger my opinion, and at length prevailed upon me entirely to acquit her. She raved like a mad woman against my lord, swore he should not stay a moment in her house, and that she would never speak to him more. In short, had she been the most innocent woman in the world, she could not have spoke nor acted any otherwise, nor could she have vented more wrath and indignation against the betrayer.

“No sooner,” said Mrs. Bennet, continuing her story, “had my lord left, than Mrs. Ellison came to me. She acted in such a way, when she found out what had happened, that, even though I initially believed she was guilty, she started to change my mind, and eventually got me to completely clear her name. She acted like a madwoman against my lord, swore he wouldn’t stay a second in her house, and that she would never speak to him again. In short, had she been the most innocent woman in the world, she couldn't have spoken or acted any differently, nor could she have expressed more anger and outrage against the betrayer.”

“That part of her denunciation of vengeance which concerned my lord’s leaving the house she vowed should be executed immediately; but then, seeming to recollect herself, she said, ‘Consider, my dear child, it is for your sake alone I speak; will not such a proceeding give some suspicion to your husband?’ I answered, that I valued not that; that I was resolved to inform my husband of all the moment I saw him; with many expressions of detestation of myself and an indifference for life and for everything else.

"She was determined to carry out the part of her accusation about my lord leaving the house right away; but then, as if she remembered something, she said, ‘Think about it, my dear child, I’m doing this just for you; won't this action raise some doubts with your husband?’ I replied that I didn’t care about that; I was set on telling my husband everything as soon as I saw him, along with many expressions of self-hatred and a lack of regard for life and everything else."

“Mrs. Ellison, however, found means to soothe me, and to satisfy me with my own innocence, a point in which, I believe, we are all easily convinced. In short, I was persuaded to acquit both myself and her, to lay the whole guilt upon my lord, and to resolve to conceal it from my husband.

“Mrs. Ellison, however, found ways to calm me down and reassure me about my own innocence, which I think we all easily believe. In short, I was convinced to clear both myself and her of blame, to put all the guilt on my lord, and to decide to keep it a secret from my husband.”

“That whole day I confined myself to my chamber and saw no person but Mrs. Ellison. I was, indeed, ashamed to look any one in the face. Happily for me, my lord went into the country without attempting to come near me, for I believe his sight would have driven me to madness.

“Throughout that day, I stayed in my room and only saw Mrs. Ellison. I was honestly too embarrassed to face anyone else. Fortunately for me, my lord went to the country without trying to see me, because I think just seeing him would have pushed me to the brink of madness.”

“The next day I told Mrs. Ellison that I was resolved to leave her lodgings the moment my lord came to town; not on her account (for I really inclined to think her innocent), but on my lord’s, whose face I was resolved, if possible, never more to behold. She told me I had no reason to quit her house on that score, for that my lord himself had left her lodgings that morning in resentment, she believed, of the abuses Which she had cast on him the day before.

“The next day, I told Mrs. Ellison that I was determined to leave her place as soon as my lord arrived in town; not because of her (since I truly believed she was innocent), but because of my lord, whose face I was set on never seeing again if I could help it. She told me I had no reason to leave her house for that reason, as my lord himself had checked out that morning, apparently upset over the criticism she had directed at him the day before."

“This confirmed me in the opinion of her innocence; nor hath she from that day to this, till my acquaintance with you, madam, done anything to forfeit my opinion. On the contrary, I owe her many good offices; amongst the rest, I have an annuity of one hundred and fifty pounds a-year from my lord, which I know was owing to her solicitations, for she is not void of generosity or good-nature; though by what I have lately seen, I am convinced she was the cause of my ruin, and hath endeavoured to lay the same snares for you.

“This has solidified my belief in her innocence; and since that day, up until my acquaintance with you, madam, she has done nothing to change that opinion. On the contrary, I owe her many favors; among other things, I have an annuity of one hundred and fifty pounds a year from my lord, which I know is due to her efforts, for she is not lacking in generosity or kindness; however, from what I've recently witnessed, I'm convinced she was the reason for my downfall and has tried to set the same traps for you.”

“But to return to my melancholy story. My husband returned at the appointed time; and I met him with an agitation of mind not to be described. Perhaps the fatigue which he had undergone in his journey, and his dissatisfaction at his ill success, prevented his taking notice of what I feared was too visible. All his hopes were entirely frustrated; the clergyman had not received the bishop’s letter, and as to my lord’s he treated it with derision and contempt. Tired as he was, Mr. Bennet would not sit down till he had enquired for my lord, intending to go and pay his compliments. Poor man! he little suspected that he had deceived him, as I have since known, concerning the bishop; much less did he suspect any other injury. But the lord—the villain was gone out of town, so that he was forced to postpone all his gratitude.

“But to go back to my sad story. My husband returned right on time; and I greeted him with a level of anxiety that’s hard to express. Maybe the exhaustion from his journey and his disappointment with his lack of success made him overlook what I feared was too obvious. All his hopes had completely fallen apart; the clergyman hadn’t received the bishop’s letter, and he dismissed my lord’s letter with mockery and disdain. Despite being tired, Mr. Bennet wouldn’t sit down until he asked about my lord, planning to go and pay his respects. Poor man! He had no idea he had been misled, as I later learned, about the bishop; he had even less idea about any other wrong that had been done. But my lord—the rogue had left town, so he had to put off all his feelings of gratitude.”

“Mr. Bennet returned to town late on the Saturday night, nevertheless he performed his duty at church the next day, but I refused to go with him. This, I think, was the first refusal I was guilty of since our marriage; but I was become so miserable, that his presence, which had been the source of all my happiness, was become my bane. I will not say I hated to see him, but I can say I was ashamed, indeed afraid, to look him in the face. I was conscious of I knew not what—guilt I hope it cannot be called.”

“Mr. Bennet got back to town late Saturday night, but he still went to church the next day, and I declined to go with him. I believe this was the first time I said no since we got married; however, I had become so miserable that his presence, which used to bring me so much joy, had turned into a source of my distress. I won’t say I hated seeing him, but I can say I felt embarrassed, even scared, to look him in the eye. I was aware of something—I hope it can’t be called guilt.”

“I hope not, nay, I think not,” cries Amelia.

“I hope not, no, I don’t think so,” Amelia cries.

“My husband,” continued Mrs. Bennet, “perceived my dissatisfaction, and imputed it to his ill-success in the country. I was pleased with this self-delusion, and yet, when I fairly compute the agonies I suffered at his endeavours to comfort me on that head, I paid most severely for it. O, my dear Mrs. Booth! happy is the deceived party between true lovers, and wretched indeed is the author of the deceit!

“My husband,” continued Mrs. Bennet, “noticed that I was unhappy and thought it was because he wasn't doing well in the countryside. I found some comfort in that misunderstanding, but when I really think about the pain I went through while he tried to comfort me about it, I realize I paid a heavy price. Oh, my dear Mrs. Booth! how fortunate is the person who is misled between true lovers, and how miserable is the one who creates the deception!”

“In this wretched condition I passed a whole week, the most miserable I think of my whole life, endeavouring to humour my husband’s delusion and to conceal my own tortures; but I had reason to fear I could not succeed long, for on the Saturday night I perceived a visible alteration in his behaviour to me. He went to bed in an apparent ill-humour, turned sullenly from me, and if I offered at any endearments he gave me only peevish answers.

“In this awful situation, I spent a whole week, the most miserable I think I’ve ever had, trying to support my husband’s delusion while hiding my own pain; but I worried I couldn’t keep it up for long, because on Saturday night, I noticed a clear change in how he acted towards me. He went to bed in a bad mood, turned away from me, and when I tried to show affection, he just responded with annoying comments.”

“After a restless turbulent night, he rose early on Sunday morning and walked down-stairs. I expected his return to breakfast, but was soon informed by the maid that he was gone forth, and that it was no more than seven o’clock. All this you may believe, madam, alarmed me. I saw plainly he had discovered the fatal secret, though by what means I could not divine. The state of my mind was very little short of madness. Sometimes I thought of running away from my injured husband, and sometimes of putting an end to my life.

“After a restless and chaotic night, he got up early Sunday morning and walked downstairs. I expected him to come back for breakfast, but the maid soon informed me that he had left, and it was barely seven o’clock. As you can imagine, ma'am, this alarmed me. I could clearly see he had uncovered the devastating secret, although I couldn’t figure out how. My mental state was nearly that of madness. At times, I thought about running away from my hurt husband, and at other times, I contemplated ending my life.”

“In the midst of such perturbations I spent the day. My husband returned in the evening. O, Heavens! can I describe what followed?—It is impossible! I shall sink under the relation. He entered the room with a face as white as a sheet, his lips trembling and his eyes red as coals of fire starting as it were from his head.—‘Molly,’ cries he, throwing himself into his chair, ‘are you well?’ ‘Good Heavens!’ says I, ‘what’s the matter?—Indeed I can’t say I am well.’ ‘No!’ says he, starting from his chair, ‘false monster, you have betrayed me, destroyed me, you have ruined your husband!’ Then looking like a fury, he snatched off a large book from the table, and, with the malice of a madman, threw it at my head and knocked me down backwards. He then caught me up in his arms and kissed me with most extravagant tenderness; then, looking me stedfastly in the face for several moments, the tears gushed in a torrent from his eyes, and with his utmost violence he threw me again on the floor, kicked me, stamped upon me. I believe, indeed, his intent was to kill me, and I believe he thought he had accomplished it.

“In the middle of all this chaos, I spent the day. My husband came home in the evening. Oh, my goodness! Can I even describe what happened next?—It's impossible! I feel like I’ll collapse just thinking about it. He walked into the room with a face as pale as a sheet, his lips trembling and his eyes blazing like coals of fire, as if they were about to pop out of his head.—‘Molly,’ he exclaimed, throwing himself into his chair, ‘are you okay?’ ‘Good heavens!’ I replied, ‘what’s wrong?—Honestly, I can’t say I’m okay.’ ‘No!’ he shouted, jumping up from his chair, ‘you deceitful monster, you’ve betrayed me, you’ve destroyed me, you’ve ruined your husband!’ He then looked like he was about to lose it, snatched a large book from the table, and, with the rage of a madman, hurled it at my head, knocking me backward. He then picked me up in his arms and kissed me with overwhelming tenderness; then, staring intensely at my face for several moments, tears streamed down his cheeks, and with all his might, he threw me back onto the floor, kicked me, and stomped on me. I honestly believe his intention was to kill me, and I think he believed he had succeeded.”

“I lay on the ground for some minutes, I believe, deprived of my senses. When I recovered myself I found my husband lying by my side on his face, and the blood running from him. It seems, when he thought he had despatched me, he ran his head with all his force against a chest of drawers which stood in the room, and gave himself a dreadful wound in his head.

“I lay on the ground for a few minutes, I think, unconscious. When I came to, I found my husband lying beside me on his stomach, blood streaming from him. It seems that when he thought he had finished me off, he slammed his head with all his strength against a chest of drawers in the room, and inflicted a terrible wound on his head.

“I can truly say I felt not the least resentment for the usage I had received; I thought I deserved it all; though, indeed, I little guessed what he had suffered from me. I now used the most earnest entreaties to him to compose himself; and endeavoured, with my feeble arms, to raise him from the ground. At length he broke from me, and, springing from the ground, flung himself into a chair, when, looking wildly at me, he cried—‘Go from me, Molly. I beseech you, leave me. I would not kill you.’—He then discovered to me—O Mrs. Booth! can you not guess it?—I was indeed polluted by the villain—I had infected my husband.—O heavens! why do I live to relate anything so horrid—I will not, I cannot yet survive it. I cannot forgive myself. Heaven cannot forgive me!”

“I can honestly say I felt no resentment for how I was treated; I believed I deserved it all, even though I had no idea what he had gone through because of me. I pleaded with him to calm down and tried, with my weak strength, to lift him off the ground. Eventually, he broke away from me and jumped into a chair, looking at me with wide eyes as he exclaimed, ‘Leave me, Molly. Please go. I don’t want to hurt you.’ He then revealed to me—Oh Mrs. Booth! Can’t you guess?—I was indeed tainted by that monster—I had contaminated my husband. Oh heavens! Why do I live to tell such a horrific story? I won’t, I can’t survive this. I can’t forgive myself. Heaven can’t forgive me!”

Here she became inarticulate with the violence of her grief, and fell presently into such agonies, that the frighted Amelia began to call aloud for some assistance. Upon this a maid-servant came up, who, seeing her mistress in a violent convulsion fit, presently screamed out she was dead. Upon which one of the other sex made his appearance: and who should this be but the honest serjeant? whose countenance soon made it evident that, though a soldier, and a brave one too, he was not the least concerned of all the company on this occasion.

Here she became speechless with the intensity of her grief and soon fell into such agonies that a frightened Amelia started calling out for help. At this, a maid came over, and seeing her mistress in a violent fit, immediately screamed that she was dead. Just then, a man appeared: and who should it be but the honest sergeant? His expression quickly showed that, even though he was a soldier and a brave one at that, he was the least affected of everyone present.

The reader, if he hath been acquainted with scenes of this kind, very well knows that Mrs. Bennet, in the usual time, returned again to the possession of her voice: the first use of which she made was to express her astonishment at the presence of the serjeant, and, with a frantic air, to enquire who he was.

The reader, if they are familiar with situations like this, knows that Mrs. Bennet quickly regained her voice: the first thing she did was to express her shock at the sergeant’s presence and, in a frantic manner, to ask who he was.

The maid, concluding that her mistress was not yet returned to her senses, answered, “Why, ‘tis my master, madam. Heaven preserve your senses, madam!—Lord, sir, my mistress must be very bad not to know you!”

The maid, realizing that her boss still wasn't back to normal, replied, “Well, it’s my master, ma'am. I hope you’re okay, ma'am!—Goodness, sir, my boss must be really out of it not to recognize you!”

What Atkinson thought at this instant, I will not say; but certain it is he looked not over-wise. He attempted twice to take hold of Mrs. Bennet’s hand, but she withdrew it hastily, and presently after, rising up from her chair, she declared herself pretty well again, and desired Atkinson and the maid to withdraw. Both of whom presently obeyed: the serjeant appearing by his countenance to want comfort almost as much as the lady did to whose assistance he had been summoned,

What Atkinson was thinking at that moment, I won't say; but it was clear he didn't look very clever. He tried twice to take Mrs. Bennet's hand, but she quickly pulled it away. Then, getting up from her chair, she said she was feeling much better and asked Atkinson and the maid to leave. They both quickly complied, with the sergeant looking like he needed comfort almost as much as the lady he had come to help.

It is a good maxim to trust a person entirely or not at all; for a secret is often innocently blabbed out by those who know but half of it. Certain it is that the maid’s speech communicated a suspicion to the mind of Amelia which the behaviour of the serjeant did not tend to remove: what that is, the sagacious readers may likewise probably suggest to themselves; if not, they must wait our time for disclosing it. We shall now resume the history of Mrs. Bennet, who, after many apologies, proceeded to the matters in the next chapter.

It’s a good rule to either trust someone completely or not at all; because a secret is often unintentionally revealed by those who only know part of it. It’s clear that what the maid said sparked a suspicion in Amelia's mind that the sergeant’s behavior didn’t help clear up: what that is, sharp readers might figure out for themselves; if not, they’ll have to wait for us to explain it. Now, let’s get back to the story of Mrs. Bennet, who, after a lot of apologies, moved on to the topics in the next chapter.










Chapter ix. — The conclusion of Mrs. Bennet’s history.

“When I became sensible,” cries Mrs. Bennet, “of the injury I had done my husband, I threw myself at his feet, and embracing his knees, while I bathed them with my tears, I begged a patient hearing, declaring, if he was not satisfied with what I should say, I would become a willing victim of his resentment, I said, and I said truly, that, if I owed my death that instant to his hands, I should have no other terrour but of the fatal consequence which it might produce to himself.

“When I realized,” Mrs. Bennet exclaims, “the harm I had caused my husband, I threw myself at his feet, embracing his knees while I drenched them with my tears. I begged him to listen patiently, saying that if he wasn’t satisfied with what I had to say, I would willingly accept his anger. I meant it when I said that if my death were to come at his hands in that moment, my only fear would be the awful impact it would have on him.”

“He seemed a little pacified, and bid me say whatever I pleased.

“He seemed a bit more at ease and told me to say whatever I wanted.”

“I then gave him a faithful relation of all that had happened. He heard me with great attention, and at the conclusion cried, with a deep sigh—‘O Molly! I believe it all.—You must have been betrayed as you tell me; you could not be guilty of such baseness, such cruelty, such ingratitude.’ He then—O! it is impossible to describe his behaviour—he exprest such kindness, such tenderness, such concern for the manner in which he had used me—I cannot dwell on this scene—I shall relapse—you must excuse me.”

“I then told him everything that had happened. He listened closely, and at the end, he sighed deeply and said, ‘Oh, Molly! I believe it all. You must have been betrayed as you say; you couldn’t be capable of such meanness, such cruelty, such ungratefulness.’ Then—oh! It’s impossible to describe how he acted—he showed so much kindness, so much tenderness, so much concern for how he had treated me—I can’t focus on this moment—it makes me too emotional—you have to forgive me.”

Amelia begged her to omit anything which so affected her; and she proceeded thus: “My husband, who was more convinced than I was of Mrs. Ellison’s guilt, declared he would not sleep that night in her house. He then went out to see for a lodging; he gave me all the money he had, and left me to pay her bill, and put up the cloaths, telling me, if I had not money enough, I might leave the cloaths as a pledge; but he vowed he could not answer for himself if he saw the face of Mrs. Ellison.

Amelia pleaded with her to leave out anything that affected her so deeply; and she continued: “My husband, who was more certain than I was about Mrs. Ellison’s guilt, said he wouldn’t spend the night in her house. He then went out to find a place to stay; he gave me all the money he had, and left me to settle her bill and pack up the clothes, telling me that if I didn’t have enough money, I could leave the clothes as collateral; but he promised he couldn’t be responsible for his actions if he saw Mrs. Ellison’s face.”

“Words cannot scarce express the behaviour of that artful woman, it was so kind and so generous. She said, she did not blame my husband’s resentment, nor could she expect any other, but that he and all the world should censure her—that she hated her house almost as much as we did, and detested her cousin, if possible, more. In fine, she said I might leave my cloaths there that evening, but that she would send them to us the next morning; that she scorned the thought of detaining them; and as for the paultry debt, we might pay her whenever we pleased; for, to do her justice, with all her vices, she hath some good in her.”

“Words can hardly express how that clever woman acted; it was so kind and generous. She said she didn’t blame my husband for being upset, nor could she expect anything different, but that he and everyone else should judge her—that she hated her house almost as much as we did, and despised her cousin, if that was even possible, more. In short, she said I could leave my clothes there that evening, but she would send them to us the next morning; she would never dream of keeping them. And as for the small debt, we could pay her whenever we wanted; because, to give her credit, despite all her flaws, she has some good in her.”

“Some good in her, indeed!” cried Amelia, with great indignation.

“There's definitely some good in her!” Amelia exclaimed, feeling very upset.

“We were scarce settled in our new lodgings,” continued Mrs. Bennet, “when my husband began to complain of a pain in his inside. He told me he feared he had done himself some injury in his rage, and burst something within him. As to the odious—I cannot bear the thought, the great skill of his surgeon soon entirely cured him; but his other complaint, instead of yielding to any application, grew still worse and worse, nor ever ended till it brought him to his grave.

“We had barely settled into our new place,” continued Mrs. Bennet, “when my husband started complaining of a pain in his stomach. He said he was worried he might have hurt himself in his rage and ruptured something inside. As for the unpleasant— I can't stand to think about it, but the great skill of his surgeon soon healed him completely; however, his other issue, instead of responding to any treatment, just kept getting worse and worse, and it never stopped until it brought him to his grave.

“O Mrs. Booth! could I have been certain that I had occasioned this, however innocently I had occasioned it, I could never have survived it; but the surgeon who opened him after his death assured me that he died of what they called a polypus in his heart, and that nothing which had happened on account of me was in the least the occasion of it.

“O Mrs. Booth! If I could have been sure that I caused this, even if it was innocent, I don’t think I could have lived with it; but the surgeon who examined him after he died confirmed that he died from what they called a polyp in his heart, and that nothing that happened because of me had anything to do with it.

“I have, however, related the affair truly to you. The first complaint I ever heard of the kind was within a day or two after we left Mrs. Ellison’s; and this complaint remained till his death, which might induce him perhaps to attribute his death to another cause; but the surgeon, who is a man of the highest eminence, hath always declared the contrary to me, with the most positive certainty; and this opinion hath been my only comfort.

“I have, however, told you the truth about the situation. The first complaint I ever heard of this kind came just a day or two after we left Mrs. Ellison’s, and this complaint lingered until his death. He might think his death was due to something else, but the surgeon, who is a highly respected professional, has always told me the opposite, with absolute certainty. This opinion has been my only source of comfort.”

“When my husband died, which was about ten weeks after we quitted Mrs. Ellison’s, of whom I had then a different opinion from what I have now, I was left in the most wretched condition imaginable. I believe, madam, she shewed you my letter. Indeed, she did everything for me at that time which I could have expected from the best of friends, She supplied me with money from her own pocket, by which means I was preserved from a distress in which I must have otherwise inevitably perished.

“When my husband died, about ten weeks after we left Mrs. Ellison’s, I had a completely different opinion of her than I do now. I was left in the most miserable condition imaginable. I believe, madam, she showed you my letter. She truly did everything I could have hoped for from the best of friends. She gave me money from her own pocket, which kept me from falling into a level of distress I would have otherwise inevitably faced.”

“Her kindness to me in this season of distress prevailed on me to return again to her house. Why, indeed, should I have refused an offer so very convenient for me to accept, and which seemed so generous in her to make? Here I lived a very retired life with my little babe, seeing no company but Mrs. Ellison herself for a full quarter of a year. At last Mrs. Ellison brought me a parchment from my lord, in which he had settled upon me, at her instance, as she told me, and as I believe it was, an annuity of one hundred and fifty pounds a-year. This was, I think, the very first time she had mentioned his hateful name to me since my return to her house. And she now prevailed upon me, though I assure you not without some difficulty, to suffer him to execute the deed in my presence.

“Her kindness towards me during this difficult time made me decide to go back to her house. Why would I have turned down such a convenient offer that seemed so generous of her? I lived a very quiet life there with my little baby, seeing no one but Mrs. Ellison herself for a full three months. Finally, Mrs. Ellison brought me a document from my lord, in which he had given me, at her request—as she told me, and as I believe it was—an annuity of one hundred and fifty pounds a year. I think this was the first time she had mentioned his despised name to me since returning to her house. She managed to convince me, though it wasn't easy, to let him complete the paperwork in my presence."

“I will not describe our interview—I am not able to describe it, and I have often wondered how I found spirits to support it. This I will say for him, that, if he was not a real penitent, no man alive could act the part better.

“I won’t describe our interview—I can’t describe it, and I often wonder how I found the courage to support it. I will say this about him: if he wasn’t a genuine penitent, no one could play the part better.”

“Beside resentment, I had another motive of my backwardness to agree to such a meeting; and this was—fear. I apprehended, and surely not without reason, that the annuity was rather meant as a bribe than a recompence, and that further designs were laid against my innocence; but in this I found myself happily deceived; for neither then, nor at any time since, have I ever had the least solicitation of that kind. Nor, indeed, have I seen the least occasion to think my lord had any such desires.

“Besides resentment, I had another reason for my reluctance to agree to such a meeting, and that was—fear. I was afraid, and certainly not without cause, that the annuity was more of a bribe than a reward, and that there were ulterior motives aimed at compromising my innocence; but in this, I was fortunately mistaken; because neither then, nor at any time since, have I ever encountered the slightest hint of that nature. Nor, in fact, have I seen any reason to believe my lord had any such intentions.”

“Good heavens! what are these men? what is this appetite which must have novelty and resistance for its provocatives, and which is delighted with us no longer than while we may be considered in the light of enemies?”

“Good heavens! Who are these men? What is this desire that needs novelty and challenge to get excited, and that only enjoys us as long as we can be seen as rivals?”

“I thank you, madam,” cries Amelia, “for relieving me from my fears on your account; I trembled at the consequence of this second acquaintance with such a man, and in such a situation.”

“I thank you, ma’am,” Amelia exclaims, “for easing my worries about you; I was really anxious about the outcome of meeting such a man again and in this situation.”

“I assure you, madam, I was in no danger,” returned Mrs. Bennet; “for, besides that I think I could have pretty well relied on my own resolution, I have heard since, at St Edmundsbury, from an intimate acquaintance of my lord’s, who was an entire stranger to my affairs, that the highest degree of inconstancy is his character; and that few of his numberless mistresses have ever received a second visit from him.

“I promise you, ma'am, I was in no danger,” replied Mrs. Bennet; “because, aside from believing I could depend on my own determination, I later heard from a close acquaintance of my lord’s at St Edmundsbury, who knew nothing about my situation, that he’s known for being extremely unreliable; and that very few of his countless mistresses ever got a second visit from him.

“Well, madam,” continued she, “I think I have little more to trouble you with; unless I should relate to you my long ill state of health, from which I am lately, I thank Heaven, recovered; or unless I should mention to you the most grievous accident that ever befel me, the loss of my poor dear Charley.” Here she made a full stop, and the tears ran down into her bosom.

“Well, ma'am,” she continued, “I don’t have much else to bother you with; unless I want to tell you about my long struggle with health issues, from which I have recently, thank God, recovered; or unless I want to bring up the most heartbreaking thing that's ever happened to me, the loss of my dear Charley.” At this point, she paused, and tears streamed down into her chest.

Amelia was silent a few minutes, while she gave the lady time to vent her passion; after which she began to pour forth a vast profusion of acknowledgments for the trouble she had taken in relating her history, but chiefly for the motive which had induced her to it, and for the kind warning which she had given her by the little note which Mrs. Bennet had sent her that morning.

Amelia was quiet for a few minutes, allowing the lady to express her feelings; then she started to express her deep thanks for the effort the lady had put into sharing her story, but especially for the reason behind it and for the thoughtful warning she had provided with the little note that Mrs. Bennet had sent her that morning.

“Yes, madam,” cries Mrs. Bennet, “I am convinced, by what I have lately seen, that you are the destined sacrifice to this wicked lord; and that Mrs. Ellison, whom I no longer doubt to have been the instrument of my ruin, intended to betray you in the same manner. The day I met my lord in your apartment I began to entertain some suspicions, and I took Mrs. Ellison very roundly to task upon them; her behaviour, notwithstanding many asseverations to the contrary, convinced me I was right; and I intended, more than once, to speak to you, but could not; till last night the mention of the masquerade determined me to delay it no longer. I therefore sent you that note this morning, and am glad you so luckily discovered the writer, as it hath given me this opportunity of easing my mind, and of honestly shewing you how unworthy I am of your friendship, at the same time that I so earnestly desire it.”

“Yes, madam,” Mrs. Bennet exclaims, “I’m convinced, from what I’ve seen recently, that you are the intended victim of this wicked lord; and that Mrs. Ellison, who I no longer doubt was the cause of my downfall, meant to betray you in the same way. The day I ran into my lord in your room, I started to have my suspicions, and I confronted Mrs. Ellison about them; her behavior, despite her many denials, convinced me I was right. I meant to talk to you more than once, but I couldn’t; until last night, when the mention of the masquerade made me decide to delay no longer. So, I sent you that note this morning, and I’m glad you figured out who wrote it, as it has given me this chance to clear my mind and honestly show you how unworthy I am of your friendship, even as I genuinely want it.”










Chapter x. — Being the last chapter of the seventh book.

Amelia did not fail to make proper compliments to Mrs. Bennet on the conclusion of her speech in the last chapter. She told her that, from the first moment of her acquaintance, she had the strongest inclination to her friendship, and that her desires of that kind were much increased by hearing her story. “Indeed, madam,” says she, “you are much too severe a judge on yourself; for they must have very little candour, in my opinion, who look upon your case with any severe eye. To me, I assure you, you appear highly the object of compassion; and I shall always esteem you as an innocent and an unfortunate woman.”

Amelia made sure to compliment Mrs. Bennet at the end of her speech in the last chapter. She told her that from the very first moment they met, she felt a strong urge to be friends, and that her desire for that friendship grew even more after hearing her story. “Honestly, madam,” she said, “you’re way too hard on yourself; anyone who judges your situation harshly must have very little understanding, in my opinion. To me, I assure you, you seem to be a highly deserving object of sympathy; and I will always see you as an innocent and unfortunate woman.”

Amelia would then have taken her leave, but Mrs. Bennet so strongly pressed her to stay to breakfast, that at length she complied; indeed, she had fasted so long, and her gentle spirits had been so agitated with variety of passions, that nature very strongly seconded Mrs. Bennet’s motion.

Amelia would have left, but Mrs. Bennet insisted so much for her to stay for breakfast that she finally agreed; in fact, she had gone so long without food, and her emotions had been stirred up by a mix of feelings, that her body strongly supported Mrs. Bennet’s request.

Whilst the maid was preparing the tea-equipage, Amelia, with a little slyness in her countenance, asked Mrs. Bennet if serjeant Atkinson did not lodge in the same house with her? The other reddened so extremely at the question, repeated the serjeant’s name with such hesitation, and behaved so aukwardly, that Amelia wanted no further confirmation of her suspicions. She would not, however, declare them abruptly to the other, but began a dissertation on the serjeant’s virtues; and, after observing the great concern which he had manifested when Mrs. Bennet was in her fit, concluded with saying she believed the serjeant would make the best husband in the world, for that he had great tenderness of heart and a gentleness of manners not often to be found in any man, and much seldomer in persons of his rank.

While the maid was getting the tea ready, Amelia, with a little sly smile, asked Mrs. Bennet if Sergeant Atkinson didn’t live in the same house as her. Mrs. Bennet blushed deeply at the question, hesitated noticeably when she repeated the sergeant’s name, and acted so awkwardly that Amelia didn't need any more proof of her suspicions. However, she didn't want to say anything outright to Mrs. Bennet, so she started talking about the sergeant's good qualities; after mentioning how concerned he had been when Mrs. Bennet was unwell, she concluded by saying she believed the sergeant would make the best husband ever because he had a big heart and a gentleness that’s rarely seen in any man, and even less so in someone of his status.

“And why not in his rank?” said Mrs. Bennet. “Indeed, Mrs. Booth, we rob the lower order of mankind of their due. I do not deny the force and power of education; but, when we consider how very injudicious is the education of the better sort in general, how little they are instructed in the practice of virtue, we shall not expect to find the heart much improved by it. And even as to the head, how very slightly do we commonly find it improved by what is called a genteel education! I have myself, I think, seen instances of as great goodness, and as great understanding too, among the lower sort of people as among the higher. Let us compare your serjeant, now, with the lord who hath been the subject of conversation; on which side would an impartial judge decide the balance to incline?”

“And why not in his position?” Mrs. Bennet said. “Honestly, Mrs. Booth, we’re denying the lower classes their due. I won’t deny the value and strength of education, but when we consider how poorly the upper class is generally educated, and how little they learn about practicing virtue, we shouldn’t expect their hearts to be any better. And even when it comes to intellect, we often find that so-called proper education doesn’t really improve it much at all! Personally, I’ve seen just as much goodness and understanding among the lower classes as I have among the upper classes. Let’s compare your sergeant with the lord we’ve been discussing; which side do you think an unbiased judge would favor?”

“How monstrous then,” cries Amelia, “is the opinion of those who consider our matching ourselves the least below us in degree as a kind of contamination!”

“How monstrous then,” cries Amelia, “is the belief of those who think that matching ourselves with anyone slightly lower than us is some sort of contamination!”

“A most absurd and preposterous sentiment,” answered Mrs. Bennet warmly; “how abhorrent from justice, from common sense, and from humanity—but how extremely incongruous with a religion which professes to know no difference of degree, but ranks all mankind on the footing of brethren! Of all kinds of pride, there is none so unchristian as that of station; in reality, there is none so contemptible. Contempt, indeed, may be said to be its own object; for my own part, I know none so despicable as those who despise others.”

“A completely ridiculous and outrageous idea,” Mrs. Bennet replied passionately; “how utterly unfair, illogical, and inhumane—but how completely inconsistent with a religion that claims to see everyone as equals, treating all of humanity like brothers and sisters! Of all forms of pride, none is more unchristian than that of social status; in fact, there is nothing so pathetic. Contempt, really, serves only its own purpose; for my part, I see no one more contemptible than those who look down on others.”

“I do assure you,” said Amelia, “you speak my own sentiments. I give you my word, I should not be ashamed of being the wife of an honest man in any station.—Nor if I had been much higher than I was, should I have thought myself degraded by calling our honest serjeant my husband.”

“I assure you,” said Amelia, “you express my feelings exactly. I promise you, I would not be embarrassed to be the wife of an honest man, no matter his position. If I had been of a much higher status, I still wouldn’t have felt degraded by calling our honest sergeant my husband.”

“Since you have made this declaration,” cries Mrs. Bennet, “I am sure you will not be offended at a secret I am going to mention to you.”

“Now that you’ve said this,” Mrs. Bennet exclaims, “I’m sure you won’t mind me sharing a secret with you.”

“Indeed, my dear,” answered Amelia, smiling, “I wonder rather you have concealed it so long; especially after the many hints I have given you.”

“Of course, my dear,” Amelia replied with a smile, “I’m surprised you’ve kept it hidden for so long, especially after all the hints I’ve dropped.”

“Nay, pardon me, madam,” replied the other; “I do not remember any such hints; and, perhaps, you do not even guess what I am going to say. My secret is this; that no woman ever had so sincere, so passionate a lover, as you have had in the serjeant.”

“Please forgive me, ma’am,” the other person replied, “but I don’t recall any hints like that, and maybe you don’t even know what I’m about to say. My secret is this: no woman has ever had a lover as sincere and passionate as you’ve had in the sergeant.”

“I a lover in the serjeant!—I!” cries Amelia, a little surprized.

“I’m in love with the sergeant!—I!” Amelia exclaims, a little surprised.

“Have patience,” answered the other;—“I say, you, my dear. As much surprized as you appear, I tell you no more than the truth; and yet it is a truth you could hardly expect to hear from me, especially with so much good-humour; since I will honestly confess to you.—But what need have I to confess what I know you guess already?—Tell me now sincerely, don’t you guess?”

“Have patience,” the other replied; “I mean you, my dear. As surprised as you look, I’m only telling you the truth; and it’s a truth you probably never expected to hear from me, especially since I’m in such a good mood. I’ll be honest with you. But why should I confess what I know you already suspect? Now tell me sincerely, don’t you suspect?”

“I guess, indeed, and hope,” said she, “that he is your husband.”

“I really hope he is your husband,” she said.

“He is, indeed, my husband,” cries the other; “and I am most happy in your approbation. In honest truth, you ought to approve my choice; since you was every way the occasion of my making it. What you said of him very greatly recommended him to my opinion; but he endeared himself to me most by what he said of you. In short, I have discovered that he hath always loved you with such a faithful, honest, noble, generous passion, that I was consequently convinced his mind must possess all the ingredients of such a passion; and what are these but true honour, goodness, modesty, bravery, tenderness, and, in a word, every human virtue?—Forgive me, my dear; but I was uneasy till I became myself the object of such a passion.”

“He is, indeed, my husband,” the other exclaims; “and I’m really happy that you approve. Honestly, you should support my choice since you were the reason I made it. What you said about him really boosted my opinion of him, but what truly made me care for him was what he said about you. In short, I’ve found out that he has always loved you with such a loyal, honest, noble, and generous passion that I was convinced he must have all the traits that come with that kind of love; and what are those traits but true honor, goodness, modesty, bravery, tenderness, and, in a nutshell, every human virtue?—Forgive me, my dear, but I felt uneasy until I became the object of such a love.”

“And do you really think,” said Amelia, smiling, “that I shall forgive you robbing me of such a lover? or, supposing what you banter me with was true, do you really imagine you could change such a passion?”

“Do you really think,” Amelia said with a smile, “that I would forgive you for taking away such a lover? Or, assuming what you’re teasing me about is true, do you actually believe you could change such a deep feeling?”

“No, my dear,” answered the other; “I only hope I have changed the object; for be assured, there is no greater vulgar error than that it is impossible for a man who loves one woman ever to love another. On the contrary, it is certain that a man who can love one woman so well at a distance will love another better that is nearer to him. Indeed, I have heard one of the best husbands in the world declare, in the presence of his wife, that he had always loved a princess with adoration. These passions, which reside only in very amorous and very delicate minds, feed only on the delicacies there growing; and leave all the substantial food, and enough of the delicacy too, for the wife.”

“No, my dear,” the other replied; “I just hope I’ve changed the subject. Be assured, there’s no bigger misconception than thinking a man who loves one woman can never love another. In fact, it’s quite the opposite; a man who can love one woman so deeply from a distance will likely love another even more who is closer to him. I’ve even heard one of the best husbands declare, in front of his wife, that he has always adored a princess. These feelings, which only exist in very romantic and sensitive minds, thrive on the finer things, leaving plenty of the real substance—and enough of the fine things too—for the wife.”

The tea being now ready, Mrs. Bennet, or, if you please, for the future, Mrs. Atkinson, proposed to call in her husband; but Amelia objected. She said she should be glad to see him any other time, but was then in the utmost hurry, as she had been three hours absent from all she most loved. However, she had scarce drank a dish of tea before she changed her mind; and, saying she would not part man and wife, desired Mr. Atkinson might appear.

The tea was now ready, and Mrs. Bennet, or, if you prefer, Mrs. Atkinson, suggested calling in her husband; but Amelia disagreed. She said she would be happy to see him another time, but was in a big rush since she had been away from everything she loved for three hours. However, she had barely had a cup of tea before she changed her mind; and saying she wouldn't separate a husband and wife, she requested that Mr. Atkinson come in.

The maid answered that her master was not at home; which words she had scarce spoken, when he knocked hastily at the door, and immediately came running into the room, all pale and breathless, and, addressing himself to Amelia, cried out, “I am sorry, my dear lady, to bring you ill news; but Captain Booth”—“What! what!” cries Amelia, dropping the tea-cup from her hand, “is anything the matter with him?”—“Don’t be frightened, my dear lady,” said the serjeant: “he is in very good health; but a misfortune hath happened.”—“Are my children well?” said Amelia.—“O, very well,” answered the serjeant. “Pray, madam, don’t be frightened; I hope it will signify nothing—he is arrested, but I hope to get him out of their damned hands immediately.” “Where is he?” cries Amelia; “I will go to him this instant!” “He begs you will not,” answered the serjeant. “I have sent his lawyer to him, and am going back with Mrs. Ellison this moment; but I beg your ladyship, for his sake, and for your own sake, not to go.” “Mrs. Ellison! what is Mrs. Ellison to do?” cries Amelia: “I must and will go.” Mrs. Atkinson then interposed, and begged that she would not hurry her spirits, but compose herself, and go home to her children, whither she would attend her. She comforted her with the thoughts that the captain was in no immediate danger; that she could go to him when she would; and desired her to let the serjeant return with Mrs. Ellison, saying she might be of service, and that there was much wisdom, and no kind of shame, in making use of bad people on certain occasions.

The maid said her master wasn’t home; barely had she spoken when he knocked quickly at the door and rushed into the room, looking pale and out of breath. He turned to Amelia and exclaimed, “I’m sorry, my dear lady, to bring you bad news; but Captain Booth—” “What! What!” Amelia cried, dropping her teacup. “Is something wrong with him?” “Don’t be scared, my dear lady,” the serjeant replied. “He’s in good health; but something unfortunate has happened.” “Are my children fine?” Amelia asked. “Oh, yes, very well,” the serjeant answered. “Please, madam, don’t be frightened; I hope it won’t mean anything serious—he's been arrested, but I hope to get him out of their terrible hands right away.” “Where is he?” Amelia shouted. “I’ll go to him right now!” “He asks you not to,” the serjeant said. “I’ve sent his lawyer to him, and I’m heading back with Mrs. Ellison this moment; but I beg you, for his sake and your own, not to go.” “Mrs. Ellison! What’s she going to do?” Amelia exclaimed. “I have to go.” Mrs. Atkinson then stepped in and urged her not to rush and to calm herself and return home to her children, promising to accompany her. She reassured her that the captain was not in immediate danger and that she could visit him whenever she wanted, asking her to let the serjeant return with Mrs. Ellison, saying she might be helpful and that it was wise, with no shame, to use bad people when necessary.

“And who,” cries Amelia, a little come to herself, “hath done this barbarous action?”

“And who,” Amelia exclaims, a bit more composed, “has done this cruel act?”

“One I am ashamed to name,” cries the serjeant; “indeed I had always a very different opinion of him: I could not have believed anything but my own ears and eyes; but Dr Harrison is the man who hath done the deed.”

“Someone I’m embarrassed to name,” shouts the sergeant; “honestly, I always thought very differently about him: I could never have believed anything except for my own ears and eyes; but Dr. Harrison is the one who did it.”

“Dr Harrison!” cries Amelia. “Well, then, there is an end of all goodness in the world. I will never have a good opinion of any human being more.”

“Dr. Harrison!” Amelia exclaims. “Well, then, that’s the end of all goodness in the world. I’ll never think highly of any human being again.”

The serjeant begged that he might not be detained from the captain; and that, if Amelia pleased to go home, he would wait upon her. But she did not chuse to see Mrs. Ellison at this time; and, after a little consideration, she resolved to stay where she was; and Mrs. Atkinson agreed to go and fetch her children to her, it being not many doors distant.

The sergeant asked not to be kept from the captain and offered to escort Amelia home if she wanted to go. However, she didn’t want to see Mrs. Ellison right now, and after some thought, she decided to stay where she was. Mrs. Atkinson agreed to go and get her children since it was just a few doors away.

The serjeant then departed; Amelia, in her confusion, never having once thought of wishing him joy on his marriage.

The sergeant then left; Amelia, feeling flustered, never thought to congratulate him on his marriage.










BOOK VIII.










Chapter i. — Being the first chapter of the eighth book.

The history must now look a little backwards to those circumstances which led to the catastrophe mentioned at the end of the last book.

The history must now look a little back at the circumstances that led to the disaster mentioned at the end of the last book.

When Amelia went out in the morning she left her children to the care of her husband. In this amiable office he had been engaged near an hour, and was at that very time lying along on the floor, and his little things crawling and playing about him, when a most violent knock was heard at the door; and immediately a footman, running upstairs, acquainted him that his lady was taken violently ill, and carried into Mrs. Chenevix’s toy-shop.

When Amelia left in the morning, she entrusted her husband with their children. He had been in this friendly role for almost an hour, lying on the floor while the little ones crawled and played around him, when suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. A footman ran upstairs to inform him that his wife had fallen seriously ill and was taken to Mrs. Chenevix’s toy shop.

Booth no sooner heard this account, which was delivered with great appearance of haste and earnestness, than he leapt suddenly from the floor, and, leaving his children, roaring at the news of their mother’s illness, in strict charge with his maid, he ran as fast as his legs could carry him to the place; or towards the place rather: for, before he arrived at the shop, a gentleman stopt him full butt, crying, “Captain, whither so fast?”—Booth answered eagerly, “Whoever you are, friend, don’t ask me any questions now.”—“You must pardon me, captain,” answered the gentleman; “but I have a little business with your honour—In short, captain, I have a small warrant here in my pocket against your honour, at the suit of one Dr Harrison.” “You are a bailiff then?” says Booth. “I am an officer, sir,” answered the other. “Well, sir, it is in vain to contend,” cries Booth; “but let me beg you will permit me only to step to Mrs. Chenevix’s—I will attend you, upon my honour, wherever you please; but my wife lies violently ill there.” “Oh, for that matter,” answered the bailiff, “you may set your heart at ease. Your lady, I hope, is very well; I assure you she is not there. You will excuse me, captain, these are only stratagems of war. Bolus and virtus, quis in a hostess equirit?” “Sir, I honour your learning,” cries Booth, “and could almost kiss you for what you tell me. I assure you I would forgive you five hundred arrests for such a piece of news. Well, sir, and whither am I to go with you?” “O, anywhere: where your honour pleases,” cries the bailiff. “Then suppose we go to Brown’s coffee-house,” said the prisoner. “No,” answered the bailiff, “that will not do; that’s in the verge of the court.” “Why then, to the nearest tavern,” said Booth. “No, not to a tavern,” cries the other, “that is not a place of security; and you know, captain, your honour is a shy cock; I have been after your honour these three months. Come, sir, you must go to my house, if you please.” “With all my heart,” answered Booth, “if it be anywhere hereabouts.” “Oh, it is but a little ways off,” replied the bailiff; “it is only in Gray’s-inn-lane, just by almost.” He then called a coach, and desired his prisoner to walk in.

Booth had barely heard this story, which was told with such urgency and seriousness, when he suddenly jumped off the floor. Leaving his children, who were roaring about their mother’s illness, in the care of his maid, he ran as fast as he could toward the location. However, before he got to the shop, a gentleman stopped him abruptly, saying, “Captain, where are you going in such a hurry?” Booth replied eagerly, “Whoever you are, friend, don’t ask me any questions right now.” “You must excuse me, captain,” the gentleman answered, “but I have a little business with you—In short, captain, I have a small warrant here in my pocket against you from one Dr. Harrison.” “So you’re a bailiff?” Booth asked. “I’m an officer, sir,” the other replied. “Well, it’s pointless to argue,” Booth exclaimed, “but please let me just stop by Mrs. Chenevix’s—I will follow you, I promise, wherever you want; but my wife is seriously ill there.” “Oh, about that,” the bailiff said, “you can relax. I hope your lady is doing very well; I assure you she is not there. You’ll excuse me, captain, these are just tactics of the trade. Bolus and virtus, quis in a hostess equirit?” “Sir, I appreciate your knowledge,” Booth said, “and I could almost kiss you for what you’ve just told me. I would forgive you five hundred arrests for that piece of news. So, where am I supposed to go with you?” “Oh, anywhere: wherever you like, sir,” the bailiff replied. “Then let’s go to Brown’s coffee-house,” Booth suggested. “No,” the bailiff said, “that won’t work; that’s too close to the court.” “Then to the nearest tavern,” Booth said. “No, not a tavern,” the bailiff insisted, “that’s not a safe place; and you know, captain, you’re a cautious fellow; I’ve been after you for three months. Come, you have to go to my house, if you don’t mind.” “With pleasure,” Booth answered, “if it’s close by.” “Oh, it’s not far at all,” the bailiff replied; “it’s just in Gray’s Inn Lane, nearly right there.” He then called for a coach and asked Booth to get in.

Booth entered the coach without any resistance, which, had he been inclined to make, he must have plainly perceived would have been ineffectual, as the bailiff appeared to have several followers at hand, two of whom, beside the commander in chief, mounted with him into the coach. As Booth was a sweet-tempered man, as well as somewhat of a philosopher, he behaved with all the good-humour imaginable, and indeed, with more than his companions; who, however, shewed him what they call civility, that is, they neither struck him nor spit in his face.

Booth got into the carriage without putting up any resistance, which he probably realized would have been pointless since the bailiff had several people with him, two of whom, along with the leader, climbed into the carriage with him. Booth was a good-natured guy and somewhat of a thinker, so he acted as cheerful as possible, even more so than the others, who, for their part, showed him what they considered politeness—they neither hit him nor spat in his face.

Notwithstanding the pleasantry which Booth endeavoured to preserve, he in reality envied every labourer whom he saw pass by him in his way. The charms of liberty, against his will, rushed on his mind; and he could not avoid suggesting to himself how much more happy was the poorest wretch who, without controul, could repair to his homely habitation and to his family, compared to him, who was thus violently, and yet lawfully, torn away from the company of his wife and children. And their condition, especially that of his Amelia, gave his heart many a severe and bitter pang.

Despite the cheerful demeanor Booth tried to maintain, he actually envied every worker he saw passing by. The allure of freedom, against his will, flooded his thoughts; he couldn't help but think about how much happier the poorest man was, who could freely return to his simple home and family, compared to him, who had been forcibly, yet legally, separated from his wife and children. The situation of his family, especially Amelia, caused him many painful and bitter moments.

At length he arrived at the bailiff’s mansion, and was ushered into a room in which were several persons. Booth desired to be alone; upon which the bailiff waited on him up-stairs into an apartment, the windows of which were well fortified with iron bars, but the walls had not the least outwork raised before them; they were, indeed, what is generally called naked; the bricks having been only covered with a thin plaster, which in many places was mouldered away.

At last, he reached the bailiff’s house and was shown into a room where several people were present. Booth preferred to be alone, so the bailiff took him upstairs to a room. The windows were securely barred with iron, but the walls had no additional protection; they were, in fact, what people usually call bare. The bricks were only covered with a thin layer of plaster, which had crumbled away in many spots.

The first demand made upon Booth was for coach-hire, which amounted to two shillings, according to the bailiff’s account; that being just double the legal fare. He was then asked if he did not chuse a bowl of punch? to which he having answered in the negative, the bailiff replied, “Nay, sir, just as you please. I don’t ask you to drink, if you don’t chuse it; but certainly you know the custom; the house is full of prisoners, and I can’t afford gentlemen a room to themselves for nothing.”

The first thing Booth was asked for was the cost of hiring a coach, which came to two shillings, as per the bailiff’s account; that was exactly double the legal fare. He was then asked if he would like a bowl of punch. When he declined, the bailiff replied, “No problem, sir, it's entirely up to you. I’m not pushing you to drink if you don’t want to; but you know how it is—this place is packed with prisoners, and I can’t give gentlemen a room to themselves for free.”

Booth presently took this hint—indeed it was a pretty broad one—and told the bailiff he should not scruple to pay him his price; but in fact he never drank unless at his meals. “As to that, sir,” cries the bailiff, “it is just as your honour pleases. I scorn to impose upon any gentleman in misfortunes: I wish you well out of them, for my part. Your honour can take nothing amiss of me; I only does my duty, what I am bound to do; and, as you says you don’t care to drink anything, what will you be pleased to have for dinner?”

Booth picked up on this hint—after all, it was pretty obvious—and told the bailiff that he wouldn’t hesitate to pay him his price; but the truth was he only drank with his meals. “Well, sir,” the bailiff replied, “it’s entirely up to you. I wouldn’t dream of taking advantage of any gentleman down on his luck: I genuinely hope you get through it, for what it’s worth. You can’t take anything I say the wrong way; I’m just doing my job, what I’m obligated to do; and since you say you don’t want to drink anything, what would you like for dinner?”

Booth then complied in bespeaking a dish of meat, and told the bailiff he would drink a bottle with him after dinner. He then desired the favour of pen, ink, and paper, and a messenger; all which were immediately procured him, the bailiff telling him he might send wherever he pleased, and repeating his concern for Booth’s misfortunes, and a hearty desire to see the end of them.

Booth then agreed to order a plate of meat and told the bailiff he would share a bottle with him after dinner. He then asked for a pen, ink, paper, and a messenger; all of which were quickly provided. The bailiff told him he could send it wherever he wanted, expressing his sympathy for Booth’s troubles and his genuine wish to see them come to an end.

The messenger was just dispatched with the letter, when who should arrive but honest Atkinson? A soldier of the guards, belonging to the same company with the serjeant, and who had known Booth at Gibraltar, had seen the arrest, and heard the orders given to the coachman. This fellow, accidentally meeting Atkinson, had acquainted him with the whole affair.

The messenger had just left with the letter when, unexpectedly, honest Atkinson showed up. A guardsman from the same unit as the sergeant, who had known Booth back in Gibraltar, witnessed the arrest and heard the instructions given to the coachman. This guy, running into Atkinson by chance, informed him about the entire situation.

At the appearance of Atkinson, joy immediately overspread the countenance of Booth. The ceremonials which past between them are unnecessary to be repeated. Atkinson was soon dispatched to the attorney and to Mrs. Ellison, as the reader hath before heard from his own mouth.

At the sight of Atkinson, Booth's face instantly lit up with happiness. The formalities that passed between them don't need to be repeated. Atkinson was quickly sent off to the attorney and Mrs. Ellison, as you've already heard him say.

Booth now greatly lamented that he had writ to his wife. He thought she might have been acquainted with the affair better by the serjeant. Booth begged him, however, to do everything in his power to comfort her; to assure her that he was in perfect health and good spirits; and to lessen as much as possible the concern which he knew she would have at the reading his letter.

Booth now deeply regretted writing to his wife. He believed she might have heard about the situation more clearly from the sergeant. However, Booth asked him to do everything he could to support her; to reassure her that he was in good health and high spirits; and to minimize the worry he knew she would feel after reading his letter.

The serjeant, however, as the reader hath seen, brought himself the first account of the arrest. Indeed, the other messenger did not arrive till a full hour afterwards. This was not owing to any slowness of his, but to many previous errands which he was to execute before the delivery of the letter; for, notwithstanding the earnest desire which the bailiff had declared to see Booth out of his troubles, he had ordered the porter, who was his follower, to call upon two or three other bailiffs, and as many attorneys, to try to load his prisoner with as many actions as possible.

The sergeant, as you’ve seen, was the first to report the arrest. In fact, the other messenger didn't show up until a full hour later. This wasn't because he was slow, but because he had several other tasks to complete before delivering the letter. Even though the bailiff had expressed a strong desire to help Booth get out of his troubles, he had instructed his porter, who worked for him, to check in with a couple of other bailiffs and several attorneys to try to pile as many legal troubles onto his prisoner as possible.

Here the reader may be apt to conclude that the bailiff, instead of being a friend, was really an enemy to poor Booth; but, in fact, he was not so. His desire was no more than to accumulate bail-bonds; for the bailiff was reckoned an honest and good sort of man in his way, and had no more malice against the bodies in his custody than a butcher hath to those in his: and as the latter, when he takes his knife in hand, hath no idea but of the joints into which he is to cut the carcase; so the former, when he handles his writ, hath no other design but to cut out the body into as many bail-bonds as possible. As to the life of the animal, or the liberty of the man, they are thoughts which never obtrude themselves on either.

Here, the reader might think that the bailiff was actually an enemy to poor Booth instead of a friend, but that's not the case. His only goal was to gather bail-bonds; the bailiff was considered a decent and honest guy in his own way and had no more ill will towards the people he was holding than a butcher has towards the animals in his care. Just like a butcher focuses solely on the cuts he plans to make when he picks up his knife, the bailiff, when he deals with his writ, aims only to create as many bail-bonds as he can. Neither one really thinks about the life of the animal or the freedom of the person.










Chapter ii. — Containing an account of Mr. Booth’s fellow-sufferers.

Before we return to Amelia we must detain our reader a little longer with Mr. Booth, in the custody of Mr. Bondum the bailiff, who now informed his prisoner that he was welcome to the liberty of the house with the other gentlemen.

Before we go back to Amelia, we need to keep our reader with Mr. Booth for a bit longer. Mr. Bondum, the bailiff, who was holding Mr. Booth, informed him that he was free to move around the house with the other gentlemen.

Booth asked who those gentlemen were. “One of them, sir,” says Mr. Bondum, “is a very great writer or author, as they call him; he hath been here these five weeks at the suit of a bookseller for eleven pound odd money; but he expects to be discharged in a day or two, for he hath writ out the debt. He is now writing for five or six booksellers, and he will get you sometimes, when he sits to it, a matter of fifteen shillings a-day. For he is a very good pen, they say, but is apt to be idle. Some days he won’t write above five hours; but at other times I have know him at it above sixteen.” “Ay!” cries Booth; “pray, what are his productions? What does he write?” “Why, sometimes,” answered Bondum, “he writes your history books for your numbers, and sometimes your verses, your poems, what do you call them? and then again he writes news for your newspapers.” “Ay, indeed! he is a most extraordinary man, truly!—How doth he get his news here?” “Why he makes it, as he doth your parliament speeches for your magazines. He reads them to us sometimes over a bowl of punch. To be sure it is all one as if one was in the parliament-house—it is about liberty and freedom, and about the constitution of England. I say nothing for my part, for I will keep my neck out of a halter; but, faith, he makes it out plainly to me that all matters are not as they should be. I am all for liberty, for my part.” “Is that so consistent with your calling?” cries Booth. “I thought, my friend, you had lived by depriving men of their liberty.” “That’s another matter,” cries the bailiff; “that’s all according to law, and in the way of business. To be sure, men must be obliged to pay their debts, or else there would be an end of everything.” Booth desired the bailiff to give him his opinion on liberty. Upon which, he hesitated a moment, and then cried out, “O ‘tis a fine thing, ‘tis a very fine thing, and the constitution of England.” Booth told him, that by the old constitution of England he had heard that men could not be arrested for debt; to which the bailiff answered, that must have been in very bad times; “because as why,” says he, “would it not be the hardest thing in the world if a man could not arrest another for a just and lawful debt? besides, sir, you must be mistaken; for how could that ever be? is not liberty the constitution of England? well, and is not the constitution, as a man may say—whereby the constitution, that is the law and liberty, and all that—”

Booth asked who those gentlemen were. “One of them, sir,” says Mr. Bondum, “is a very famous writer, or author, as they call him; he’s been here for five weeks at the request of a bookseller for over eleven pounds; but he expects to be released in a day or two since he’s written off the debt. He is currently writing for five or six booksellers and he can sometimes earn you around fifteen shillings a day when he really sits down to work. They say he’s very talented, but he tends to be lazy. Some days he won’t write more than five hours; but then there are also times I've seen him work for over sixteen.” “Oh really!” says Booth; “What kind of things does he write? What are his works?” “Well, sometimes,” Bondum replies, “he writes history books for your publications, and sometimes he writes poems, what do you call them? And he also writes news articles for your newspapers.” “Oh, I see! He’s quite the extraordinary person, indeed! How does he get his news here?” “He makes it up, just like he does your parliamentary speeches for your magazines. He sometimes reads them to us over a bowl of punch. I suppose it’s just like being in the House of Commons—it’s all about liberty and freedom, and the constitution of England. I keep my thoughts to myself, since I don’t want to end up in trouble; but honestly, he makes it pretty clear to me that not everything is as it should be. I’m all for liberty, myself.” “Is that really compatible with your job?” asks Booth. “I thought, my friend, you made a living by taking away people’s freedom.” “That’s a different story,” says the bailiff; “that’s all according to the law and part of the business. People need to pay their debts, or else everything would fall apart.” Booth asked the bailiff for his thoughts on liberty. After hesitating for a moment, he exclaimed, “Oh, it’s a wonderful thing, a truly wonderful thing, and it’s part of the constitution of England.” Booth informed him that he had heard that, according to the old constitution of England, men could not be arrested for debt; to which the bailiff replied that must have been in very bad times; “because, you see,” he says, “how could it possibly be fair if a person couldn’t arrest another for a just and lawful debt? Besides, sir, you must be mistaken; how could that ever happen? Isn’t liberty the foundation of the constitution of England? And isn’t the constitution, as one might say—that is, the law and liberty, and all that—”

Booth had a little mercy upon the poor bailiff, when he found him rounding in this manner, and told him he had made the matter very clear. Booth then proceeded to enquire after the other gentlemen, his fellows in affliction; upon which Bondum acquainted him that one of the prisoners was a poor fellow. “He calls himself a gentleman,” said Bondum; “but I am sure I never saw anything genteel by him. In a week that he hath been in my house he hath drank only part of one bottle of wine. I intend to carry him to Newgate within a day or two, if he can’t find bail, which, I suppose, he will not be able to do; for everybody says he is an undone man. He hath run out all he hath by losses in business, and one way or other; and he hath a wife and seven children. Here was the whole family here the other day, all howling together. I never saw such a beggarly crew; I was almost ashamed to see them in my house. I thought they seemed fitter for Bridewell than any other place. To be sure, I do not reckon him as proper company for such as you, sir; but there is another prisoner in the house that I dare say you will like very much. He is, indeed, very much of a gentleman, and spends his money like one. I have had him only three days, and I am afraid he won’t stay much longer. They say, indeed, he is a gamester; but what is that to me or any one, as long as a man appears as a gentleman? I always love to speak by people as I find; and, in my opinion, he is fit company for the greatest lord in the land; for he hath very good cloaths, and money enough. He is not here for debt, but upon a judge’s warrant for an assault and battery; for the tipstaff locks up here.”

Booth felt a bit sorry for the poor bailiff when he saw him struggling like that and told him he had made the situation very clear. Booth then asked about the other men, his companions in misfortune; to which Bondum informed him that one of the prisoners was just a poor guy. “He claims to be a gentleman,” said Bondum, “but I’ve never seen anything classy about him. In the week he’s been in my place, he has only drunk part of one bottle of wine. I plan to take him to Newgate in the next day or two if he can’t find bail, which I doubt he will; everyone says he’s a finished man. He’s lost everything he had in business and otherwise, and he has a wife and seven kids. The whole family was here the other day, all crying together. I’ve never seen such a pathetic crew; I was almost embarrassed to have them in my house. They seemed more suited for Bridewell than anywhere else. To be honest, I wouldn’t consider him proper company for someone like you, sir; but there’s another prisoner here that I’m sure you’ll like a lot. He really is a gentleman and spends money like one. I’ve only had him for three days, and I’m worried he won’t stick around much longer. They say he’s a gambler, but what does that matter to me or anyone else, as long as a man acts like a gentleman? I always judge people by how they behave, and in my opinion, he’s fit company for the highest lord in the land; he has very nice clothes and enough money. He’s not here for debt, but under a judge’s warrant for assault and battery; the tipstaff has him locked up here.”

The bailiff was thus haranguing when he was interrupted by the arrival of the attorney whom the trusty serjeant had, with the utmost expedition, found out and dispatched to the relief of his distressed friend. But before we proceed any further with the captain we will return to poor Amelia, for whom, considering the situation in which we left her, the good-natured reader may be, perhaps, in no small degree solicitous.

The bailiff was in the middle of his speech when he was interrupted by the arrival of the attorney the reliable sergeant had quickly found and sent to help his troubled friend. However, before we continue with the captain, let's go back to poor Amelia, who, given the situation we left her in, might be causing some concern for the kind-hearted reader.

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Chapter iii. — Containing some extraordinary behaviour in Mrs. Ellison.

The serjeant being departed to convey Mrs. Ellison to the captain, his wife went to fetch Amelia’s children to their mother.

The sergeant left to take Mrs. Ellison to the captain, while his wife went to get Amelia’s children to bring them to their mother.

Amelia’s concern for the distresses of her husband was aggravated at the sight of her children. “Good Heavens!” she cried, “what will—what can become of these poor little wretches? why have I produced these little creatures only to give them a share of poverty and misery?” At which words she embraced them eagerly in her arms, and bedewed them both with her tears.

Amelia’s worry about her husband’s troubles intensified when she saw her children. “Oh my God!” she exclaimed, “what will—what can happen to these poor little beings? Why did I bring them into this world only to give them a taste of poverty and suffering?” With that, she hugged them tightly, showering them with her tears.

The children’s eyes soon overflowed as fast as their mother’s, though neither of them knew the cause of her affliction. The little boy, who was the elder and much the sharper of the two, imputed the agonies of his mother to her illness, according to the account brought to his father in his presence.

The children's eyes quickly filled with tears just like their mother's, even though neither of them understood what was causing her pain. The little boy, who was the older and much more perceptive of the two, blamed his mother's suffering on her illness, based on what he heard his father say while he was there.

When Amelia became acquainted with the child’s apprehensions, she soon satisfied him that she was in a perfect state of health; at which the little thing expressed great satisfaction, and said he was glad she was well again. Amelia told him she had not been in the least disordered. Upon which the innocent cried out, “La! how can people tell such fibs? a great tall man told my papa you was taken very ill at Mrs. Somebody’s shop, and my poor papa presently ran down-stairs: I was afraid he would have broke his neck, to come to you.”

When Amelia learned about the child's worries, she quickly reassured him that she was perfectly healthy; this made the little one very happy, and he said he was glad she was better. Amelia told him she hadn’t been sick at all. To this, the innocent exclaimed, “Oh! How can people tell such lies? A big man told my dad you got really sick at Mrs. Somebody’s shop, and my poor dad rushed downstairs right away: I was scared he would break his neck trying to get to you.”

“O, the villains!” cries Mrs. Atkinson, “what a stratagem was here to take away your husband!”

“O, the villains!” Mrs. Atkinson cries, “what a scheme this is to steal away your husband!”

“Take away!” answered the child—“What! hath anybody taken away papa?—Sure that naughty fibbing man hath not taken away papa?”

“Take him away!” replied the child. “What! Did someone take away dad? Surely that naughty lying man hasn’t taken dad away?”

Amelia begged Mrs. Atkinson to say something to her children, for that her spirits were overpowered. She then threw herself into a chair, and gave a full vent to a passion almost too strong for her delicate constitution.

Amelia pleaded with Mrs. Atkinson to talk to her kids because she felt completely overwhelmed. She then collapsed into a chair and let out emotions that were almost too intense for her fragile state.

The scene that followed, during some minutes, is beyond my power of description; I must beg the readers’ hearts to suggest it to themselves. The children hung on their mother, whom they endeavoured in vain to comfort, as Mrs. Atkinson did in vain attempt to pacify them, telling them all would be well, and they would soon see their papa again.

The scene that followed for a few minutes is beyond my ability to describe; I must ask the readers to imagine it for themselves. The children clung to their mother, trying unsuccessfully to comfort her, while Mrs. Atkinson also struggled to calm them down, assuring them that everything would be fine and that they would see their dad again soon.

At length, partly by the persuasions of Mrs. Atkinson, partly from consideration of her little ones, and more, perhaps, from the relief which she had acquired by her tears, Amelia became a little composed.

At last, partly due to Mrs. Atkinson's encouragement, partly because of her children, and maybe more because of the relief she felt after crying, Amelia started to feel a bit calmer.

Nothing worth notice past in this miserable company from this time till the return of Mrs. Ellison from the bailiff’s house; and to draw out scenes of wretchedness to too great a length, is a task very uneasy to the writer, and for which none but readers of a most gloomy complexion will think themselves ever obliged to his labours.

Nothing of interest happened in this miserable company from this time until Mrs. Ellison returned from the bailiff’s house; and spending too much time on scenes of misery is a challenging task for the writer, one that only readers with a very gloomy outlook will feel obligated to engage with.

At length Mrs. Ellison arrived, and entered the room with an air of gaiety rather misbecoming the occasion. When she had seated herself in a chair she told Amelia that the captain was very well and in good spirits, and that he earnestly desired her to keep up hers. “Come, madam,” said she, “don’t be disconsolate; I hope we shall soon be able to get him out of his troubles. The debts, indeed, amount to more than I expected; however, ways may be found to redeem him. He must own himself guilty of some rashness in going out of the verge, when he knew to what he was liable; but that is now not to be remedied. If he had followed my advice this had not happened; but men will be headstrong.”

Finally, Mrs. Ellison arrived and entered the room with an air of cheerfulness that seemed a bit inappropriate for the occasion. Once she settled into a chair, she told Amelia that the captain was doing well and in good spirits, and that he sincerely wanted her to maintain her own spirits. “Come on, madam,” she said, “don’t be so down; I hope we’ll be able to help him out of his troubles soon. The debts are indeed more than I expected; however, there are ways we can save him. He must accept that he was somewhat reckless for going outside the limits when he knew what he was risking; but that’s not something we can fix now. If he had listened to my advice, this wouldn’t have happened; but men can be stubborn.”

“I cannot bear this,” cries Amelia; “shall I hear that best of creatures blamed for his tenderness to me?”

“I can’t stand this,” Amelia cries. “Am I supposed to hear that amazing person get criticized for his kindness to me?”

“Well, I will not blame him,” answered Mrs. Ellison; “I am sure I propose nothing but to serve him; and if you will do as much to serve him yourself, he will not be long a prisoner.”

“Well, I won't blame him,” replied Mrs. Ellison; “I'm sure I only want to help him; and if you do as much to help him yourself, he won't be a prisoner for long.”

“I do!” cries Amelia: “O Heavens! is there a thing upon earth—”

“I do!” Amelia exclaims. “Oh my gosh! Is there anything on earth—”

“Yes, there is a thing upon earth,” said Mrs. Ellison, “and a very easy thing too; and yet I will venture my life you start when I propose it. And yet, when I consider that you are a woman of understanding, I know not why I should think so; for sure you must have too much good sense to imagine that you can cry your husband out of prison. If this would have done, I see you have almost cried your eyes out already. And yet you may do the business by a much pleasanter way than by crying and bawling.”

“Yes, there’s something out there,” Mrs. Ellison said, “and it’s actually pretty simple; still, I bet you’ll be shocked when I suggest it. But then, knowing you’re a smart woman, I don’t know why I should think that; surely you have enough common sense to believe that you can cry your husband out of prison. If that was possible, I can see you’ve almost cried your eyes out already. Still, you could handle this in a much nicer way than by crying and yelling.”

“What do you mean, madam?” cries Amelia.—“For my part, I cannot guess your meaning.”

“What do you mean, ma’am?” Amelia exclaims. “Honestly, I can’t figure out what you mean.”

“Before I tell you then, madam,” answered Mrs. Ellison, “I must inform you, if you do not already know it, that the captain is charged with actions to the amount of near five hundred pounds. I am sure I would willingly be his bail; but I know my bail would not be taken for that sum. You must consider, therefore, madam, what chance you have of redeeming him; unless you chuse, as perhaps some wives would, that he should lie all his life in prison.”

“Before I tell you, madam,” replied Mrs. Ellison, “I need to let you know, if you don't already, that the captain has charges totaling nearly five hundred pounds. I would gladly be his bail, but I know my bail wouldn't be accepted for that amount. So, you should think about what chance you have of getting him out; unless you want, like some wives might, for him to stay in prison for the rest of his life.”

At these words Amelia discharged a shower of tears, and gave every mark of the most frantic grief.

At these words, Amelia burst into tears, showing every sign of deep sorrow.

“Why, there now,” cries Mrs. Ellison, “while you will indulge these extravagant passions, how can you be capable of listening to the voice of reason? I know I am a fool in concerning myself thus with the affairs of others. I know the thankless office I undertake; and yet I love you so, my dear Mrs. Booth, that I cannot bear to see you afflicted, and I would comfort you if you would suffer me. Let me beg you to make your mind easy; and within these two days I will engage to set your husband at liberty.

“Just look at that,” Mrs. Ellison exclaims, “how can you let these wild passions take over when you should be able to listen to reason? I know I’m being foolish by getting involved in other people’s business. I realize the thankless role I’m taking on; yet I care for you so much, my dear Mrs. Booth, that I can't stand to see you suffer, and I would help you if you’d allow me. Please try to relax; within the next couple of days, I promise I will have your husband freed.”

“Harkee, child; only behave like a woman of spirit this evening, and keep your appointment, notwithstanding what hath happened; and I am convinced there is one who hath the power and the will to serve you.”

“Listen, child; just act like a strong woman tonight, and keep your appointment, no matter what has happened; and I believe there is someone who has the power and the desire to help you.”

Mrs. Ellison spoke the latter part of her speech in a whisper, so that Mrs. Atkinson, who was then engaged with the children, might not hear her; but Amelia answered aloud, and said, “What appointment would you have me keep this evening?”

Mrs. Ellison spoke the last part of her speech in a whisper, so that Mrs. Atkinson, who was busy with the kids, wouldn't hear her; but Amelia replied loudly and said, “What appointment do you want me to keep this evening?”

“Nay, nay, if you have forgot,” cries Mrs. Ellison, “I will tell you more another time; but come, will you go home? my dinner is ready by this time, and you shall dine with me.”

“Naw, naw, if you’ve forgotten,” Mrs. Ellison exclaims, “I’ll share more with you another time; but come on, are you ready to go home? My dinner should be ready by now, and you can eat with me.”

“Talk not to me of dinners,” cries Amelia; “my stomach is too full already.”

“Don’t talk to me about dinners,” Amelia exclaims; “I'm already too full.”

“Nay, but, dear madam,” answered Mrs. Ellison, “let me beseech you to go home with me. I do not care,” says she, whispering, “to speak before some folks.” “I have no secret, madam, in the world,” replied Amelia aloud, “which I would not communicate to this lady; for I shall always acknowledge the highest obligations to her for the secrets she hath imparted to me.”

“Nah, but, dear ma’am,” replied Mrs. Ellison, “please let me persuade you to come home with me. I don’t want,” she said quietly, “to speak in front of some people.” “I have no secrets, ma’am, at all,” Amelia said loudly, “that I wouldn’t share with this lady; because I will always feel deeply grateful to her for the secrets she has shared with me.”

“Madam,” said Mrs. Ellison, “I do not interfere with obligations. I am glad the lady hath obliged you so much; and I wish all people were equally mindful of obligations. I hope I have omitted no opportunity of endeavouring to oblige Mrs. Booth, as well as I have some other folks.”

“Ma’am,” Mrs. Ellison said, “I don’t get involved in obligations. I’m glad the lady has helped you so much, and I wish everyone was as considerate about obligations. I hope I haven’t missed any chance to help Mrs. Booth, just like I have with some other people.”

“If by other folks, madam, you mean me,” cries Mrs. Atkinson, “I confess I sincerely believe you intended the same obligation to us both; and I have the pleasure to think it is owing to me that this lady is not as much obliged to you as I am.”

“If by other people, ma'am, you mean me,” Mrs. Atkinson exclaims, “I truly believe you intended the same favor for both of us; and I take pride in thinking it's because of me that this lady is not as indebted to you as I am.”

“I protest, madam, I can hardly guess your meaning,” said Mrs. Ellison.—“Do you really intend to affront me, madam?”

“I protest, ma'am, I can barely understand what you're saying,” said Mrs. Ellison.—“Are you seriously trying to insult me, ma'am?”

“I intend to preserve innocence and virtue, if it be in my power, madam,” answered the other. “And sure nothing but the most eager resolution to destroy it could induce you to mention such an appointment at such a time.”

“I plan to protect innocence and virtue, if I can, ma'am,” replied the other. “And surely nothing but a strong desire to ruin it could make you bring up such an appointment at such a time.”

“I did not expect this treatment from you, madam,” cries Mrs. Ellison; “such ingratitude I could not have believed had it been reported to me by any other.”

“I didn't expect this from you, ma'am,” Mrs. Ellison exclaims; “I would never have believed such ingratitude if someone else had told me.”

“Such impudence,” answered Mrs. Atkinson, “must exceed, I think, all belief; but, when women once abandon that modesty which is the characteristic of their sex, they seldom set any bounds to their assurance.”

“Such boldness,” replied Mrs. Atkinson, “must be beyond belief; but when women once give up that modesty which defines their gender, they rarely limit their confidence.”

“I could not have believed this to have been in human nature,” cries Mrs. Ellison. “Is this the woman whom I have fed, have cloathed, have supported; who owes to my charity and my intercessions that she is not at this day destitute of all the necessaries of life?”

“I could never have believed this was in human nature,” cries Mrs. Ellison. “Is this the woman whom I have fed, clothed, and supported; who owes her ability to survive today to my charity and my help so that she is not completely lacking in the basic necessities of life?”

“I own it all,” answered Mrs. Atkinson; “and I add the favour of a masquerade ticket to the number. Could I have thought, madam, that you would before my face have asked another lady to go to the same place with the same man?—but I ask your pardon; I impute rather more assurance to you than you are mistress of.—You have endeavoured to keep the assignation a secret from me; and it was by mere accident only that I discovered it; unless there are some guardian angels that in general protect innocence and virtue; though, I may say, I have not always found them so watchful.”

“I own everything,” Mrs. Atkinson replied. “And I’ll throw in a masquerade ticket as well. Could I have imagined, ma’am, that you would, right in front of me, invite another woman to the same event with the same man?—But I apologize; I’m giving you more credit for boldness than you actually possess. You tried to keep this meeting a secret from me, and it was sheer luck that I stumbled upon it; unless there are some guardian angels who usually watch over innocence and virtue; though, I must say, I haven’t always found them so vigilant.”

“Indeed, madam,” said Mrs. Ellison, “you are not worth my answer; nor will I stay a moment longer with such a person.—So, Mrs. Booth, you have your choice, madam, whether you will go with me, or remain in the company of this lady.”

“Honestly, madam,” said Mrs. Ellison, “you’re not worth my time; and I won’t spend another moment with someone like you. So, Mrs. Booth, it’s your choice, madam, whether you want to come with me or stay with this lady.”

“If so, madam,” answered Mrs. Booth, “I shall not be long in determining to stay where I am.”

“If that’s the case, ma’am,” replied Mrs. Booth, “I won’t take long to decide to stay where I am.”

Mrs. Ellison then, casting a look of great indignation at both the ladies, made a short speech full of invectives against Mrs. Atkinson, and not without oblique hints of ingratitude against poor Amelia; after which she burst out of the room, and out of the house, and made haste to her own home, in a condition of mind to which fortune without guilt cannot, I believe, reduce any one.

Mrs. Ellison then, casting a look of great anger at both ladies, made a brief speech full of insults towards Mrs. Atkinson, and also dropped some hints of ingratitude aimed at poor Amelia; after this, she stormed out of the room, out of the house, and rushed home, in a state of mind that, I believe, only bad luck without wrongdoing can cause anyone.

Indeed, how much the superiority of misery is on the side of wickedness may appear to every reader who will compare the present situation of Amelia with that of Mrs. Ellison. Fortune had attacked the former with almost the highest degree of her malice. She was involved in a scene of most exquisite distress, and her husband, her principal comfort, torn violently from her arms; yet her sorrow, however exquisite, was all soft and tender, nor was she without many consolations. Her case, however hard, was not absolutely desperate; for scarce any condition of fortune can be so. Art and industry, chance and friends, have often relieved the most distrest circumstances, and converted them into opulence. In all these she had hopes on this side the grave, and perfect virtue and innocence gave her the strongest assurances on the other. Whereas, in the bosom of Mrs. Ellison, all was storm and tempest; anger, revenge, fear, and pride, like so many raging furies, possessed her mind, and tortured her with disappointment and shame. Loss of reputation, which is generally irreparable, was to be her lot; loss of friends is of this the certain consequence; all on this side the grave appeared dreary and comfortless; and endless misery on the other, closed the gloomy prospect.

Indeed, the extent to which misery outweighs goodness can be seen by anyone who compares Amelia's current situation with that of Mrs. Ellison. Fortune has dealt a severe blow to Amelia, pushing her into a state of deep distress, especially with her husband—her main source of comfort—violently taken from her. Yet, despite her immense sorrow, it remains soft and tender, and she is not without many consolations. Although her situation is certainly difficult, it is not completely hopeless; hardly any situation is that dire. Skill, hard work, chance, and friends have often turned the worst circumstances into wealth. Amelia still has hope in this life, and her unwavering virtue and innocence provide her with the strongest assurance for the next. In contrast, Mrs. Ellison is engulfed in chaos; her mind is tormented by anger, revenge, fear, and pride, all of which rage like furious tempests, leading her to disappointment and shame. The loss of reputation, which is often irreparable, awaits her, and the loss of friends is a certain consequence of that. Everything on this side of the grave seems bleak and devoid of comfort, and the endless misery that lies beyond only darkens the already grim outlook.

Hence, my worthy reader, console thyself, that however few of the other good things of life are thy lot, the best of all things, which is innocence, is always within thy own power; and, though Fortune may make thee often unhappy, she can never make thee completely and irreparably miserable without thy own consent.

Hence, my dear reader, take comfort in the fact that no matter how few of life's other good things you may have, the best of all, which is innocence, is always within your control; and even though luck may leave you feeling unhappy at times, it can never make you completely and irreparably miserable without your own agreement.










Chapter iv. — Containing, among many matters, the exemplary behaviour of Colonel James.

When Mrs. Ellison was departed, Mrs. Atkinson began to apply all her art to soothe and comfort Amelia, but was presently prevented by her. “I am ashamed, dear madam,” said Amelia, “of having indulged my affliction so much at your expense. The suddenness of the occasion is my only excuse; for, had I had time to summon my resolution to my assistance, I hope I am mistress of more patience than you have hitherto seen me exert. I know, madam, in my unwarrantable excesses, I have been guilty of many transgressions. First, against that Divine will and pleasure without whose permission, at least, no human accident can happen; in the next place, madam, if anything can aggravate such a fault, I have transgressed the laws of friendship as well as decency, in throwing upon you some part of the load of my grief; and again, I have sinned against common sense, which should teach me, instead of weakly and heavily lamenting my misfortunes, to rouse all my spirits to remove them. In this light I am shocked at my own folly, and am resolved to leave my children under your care, and go directly to my husband. I may comfort him. I may assist him. I may relieve him. There is nothing now too difficult for me to undertake.”

When Mrs. Ellison left, Mrs. Atkinson tried her best to comfort Amelia, but Amelia quickly interrupted her. “I’m sorry, dear madam,” said Amelia, “for leaning on you so much during my distress. The suddenness of everything is the only reason I can give; if I had time to gather my strength, I believe I could show you more patience than you’ve seen from me so far. I know I’ve made mistakes in my overwhelming grief. First, I’ve gone against that Divine will and intention, because nothing can happen without at least its permission; second, madam, if anything can make my fault worse, it’s that I’ve burdened you with part of my sorrow, which goes against the laws of friendship and decency. Also, I’ve failed to use common sense, which should remind me that instead of wallowing in my misfortunes, I should rally my spirits to overcome them. Seeing it this way shocks me at my own foolishness, and I’ve decided to leave my children in your care and go straight to my husband. I can comfort him. I can help him. I can support him. There’s nothing now too challenging for me to tackle.”

Mrs. Atkinson greatly approved and complimented her friend on all the former part of her speech, except what related to herself, on which she spoke very civilly, and I believe with great truth; but as to her determination of going to her husband she endeavoured to dissuade her, at least she begged her to defer it for the present, and till the serjeant returned home. She then reminded Amelia that it was now past five in the afternoon, and that she had not taken any refreshment but a dish of tea the whole day, and desired she would give her leave to procure her a chick, or anything she liked better, for her dinner.

Mrs. Atkinson fully approved and praised her friend for everything she said before, except for what was about herself, which she addressed very politely and, I believe, quite truthfully. However, regarding her plan to go to her husband, she tried to talk her out of it; at least she asked her to put it off for now, until the sergeant returned home. She then reminded Amelia that it was past five in the afternoon and that she hadn’t eaten anything all day except for a cup of tea, and she asked if she could get her a chicken or something else she preferred for dinner.

Amelia thanked her friend, and said she would sit down with her to whatever she pleased; “but if I do not eat,” said she, “I would not have you impute it to anything but want of appetite; for I assure you all things are equally indifferent to me. I am more solicitous about these poor little things, who have not been used to fast so long. Heaven knows what may hereafter be their fate!”

Amelia thanked her friend and said she would join her for whatever she wanted; “but if I don’t eat,” she added, “please don’t think it’s for any reason other than a lack of appetite; I promise you, nothing really appeals to me right now. I’m much more concerned about these poor little ones who aren’t used to going without food for so long. God knows what might happen to them in the future!”

Mrs. Atkinson bid her hope the best, and then recommended the children to the care of her maid.

Mrs. Atkinson wished her the best and then entrusted the children to her maid's care.

And now arrived a servant from Mrs. James, with an invitation to Captain Booth and to his lady to dine with the colonel the day after the next. This a little perplexed Amelia; but after a short consideration she despatched an answer to Mrs. James, in which she concisely informed her of what had happened.

And now a servant came from Mrs. James, bringing an invitation for Captain Booth and his wife to have dinner with the colonel the day after tomorrow. This puzzled Amelia a bit; but after a moment of thought, she sent a reply to Mrs. James, briefly explaining what had happened.

The honest serjeant, who had been on his legs almost the whole day, now returned, and brought Amelia a short letter from her husband, in which he gave her the most solemn assurances of his health and spirits, and begged her with great earnestness to take care to preserve her own, which if she did, he said, he had no doubt but that they should shortly be happy. He added something of hopes from my lord, with which Mrs. Ellison had amused him, and which served only to destroy the comfort that Amelia received from the rest of his letter.

The honest sergeant, who had been on his feet almost all day, now returned and handed Amelia a brief letter from her husband. In it, he assured her sincerely of his health and good spirits and urgently asked her to take care of herself. He confidently said that if she did, they would soon be happy together. He also mentioned some hopes based on what my lord had told Mrs. Ellison, which only took away from the comfort Amelia felt from the rest of his letter.

Whilst Amelia, the serjeant, and his lady, were engaged in a cold collation, for which purpose a cold chicken was procured from the tavern for the ladies, and two pound of cold beef for the serjeant, a violent knocking was heard at the door, and presently afterwards Colonel James entered the room. After proper compliments had past, the colonel told Amelia that her letter was brought to Mrs. James while they were at table, and that on her shewing it him he had immediately rose up, made an apology to his company, and took a chair to her. He spoke to her with great tenderness on the occasion, and desired her to make herself easy; assuring her that he would leave nothing in his power undone to serve her husband. He then gave her an invitation, in his wife’s name, to his own house, in the most pressing manner.

While Amelia, the sergeant, and his wife were having a light meal, which included a cold chicken they got from the tavern for the ladies and two pounds of cold beef for the sergeant, there was a loud knocking at the door. Shortly after, Colonel James entered the room. After exchanging pleasantries, the colonel informed Amelia that her letter was delivered to Mrs. James while they were at dinner, and upon her showing it to him, he immediately got up, apologized to his guests, and took a seat next to her. He spoke to her with great kindness, urging her to stay calm and assuring her that he would do everything he could to help her husband. He then extended an invitation on behalf of his wife to come to his home, in the most enthusiastic way.

Amelia returned him very hearty thanks for all his kind offers, but begged to decline that of an apartment in his house. She said, as she could not leave her children, so neither could she think of bringing such a trouble with her into his family; and, though the colonel gave her many assurances that her children, as well as herself, would be very welcome to Mrs. James, and even betook himself to entreaties, she still persisted obstinately in her refusal.

Amelia thanked him warmly for all his kind offers but felt she had to decline the option of staying in his house. She explained that since she couldn't leave her children, she also couldn't consider bringing that burden into his family. Even though the colonel assured her that both she and her children would be very welcome to Mrs. James, and even tried to persuade her, she remained firm in her refusal.

In real truth, Amelia had taken a vast affection for Mrs. Atkinson, of the comfort of whose company she could not bear to be deprived in her distress, nor to exchange it for that of Mrs. James, to whom she had lately conceived no little dislike.

In reality, Amelia had developed a deep fondness for Mrs. Atkinson, whose company she couldn’t stand to be without in her time of trouble, nor would she trade it for that of Mrs. James, who she had recently come to dislike quite a bit.

The colonel, when he found he could not prevail with Amelia to accept his invitation, desisted from any farther solicitations. He then took a bank-bill of fifty pounds from his pocket-book, and said, “You will pardon me, dear madam, if I chuse to impute your refusal of my house rather to a dislike of my wife, who I will not pretend to be the most agreeable of women (all men,” said he, sighing, “have not Captain Booth’s fortune), than to any aversion or anger to me. I must insist upon it, therefore, to make your present habitation as easy to you as possible—I hope, madam, you will not deny me this happiness; I beg you will honour me with the acceptance of this trifle.” He then put the note into her hand, and declared that the honour of touching it was worth a hundred times that sum.

The colonel, realizing he couldn’t convince Amelia to accept his invitation, stopped trying. He then took out a fifty-pound banknote from his wallet and said, “Please forgive me, dear madam, if I assume your refusal of my invitation is more about a dislike for my wife, who I won't pretend is the most pleasant of women (after all, not every man has Captain Booth's luck), than any issue or resentment towards me. Therefore, I must insist on making your current living situation as comfortable as possible—I hope, madam, you won't deny me this joy; I ask that you honor me by accepting this small gift.” He then placed the note in her hand and stated that the privilege of her touching it was worth a hundred times that amount.

“I protest, Colonel James,” cried Amelia, blushing, “I know not what to do or say, your goodness so greatly confounds me. Can I, who am so well acquainted with the many great obligations Mr. Booth already hath to your generosity, consent that you should add more to a debt we never can pay?”

“I protest, Colonel James,” Amelia exclaimed, blushing, “I don’t know what to do or say; your kindness is overwhelming. How can I, who am so aware of the many significant debts Mr. Booth already owes you, agree to let you add more to a debt we can never repay?”

The colonel stopt her short, protesting that she misplaced the obligation; for, that if to confer the highest happiness was to oblige, he was obliged to her acceptance. “And I do assure you, madam,” said he, “if this trifling sum or a much larger can contribute to your ease, I shall consider myself as the happiest man upon earth in being able to supply it, and you, madam, my greatest benefactor in receiving it.”

The colonel stopped her quickly, arguing that she had misunderstood the obligation; because, if providing the greatest happiness was an obligation, then he was obliged by her acceptance. "And I assure you, ma'am," he said, "if this small amount or a much larger one can help you, I will consider myself the happiest man on earth for being able to provide it, and you, ma'am, my greatest benefactor for accepting it."

Amelia then put the note in her pocket, and they entered into a conversation in which many civil things were said on both sides; but what was chiefly worth remark was, that Amelia had almost her husband constantly in her mouth, and the colonel never mentioned him: the former seemed desirous to lay all obligations, as much as possible, to the account of her husband; and the latter endeavoured, with the utmost delicacy, to insinuate that her happiness was the main and indeed only point which he had in view.

Amelia then slipped the note into her pocket, and they started a conversation where they exchanged many polite comments; however, what stood out was that Amelia nearly always brought up her husband, while the colonel never mentioned him. Amelia seemed eager to credit her husband for everything, while the colonel tried very delicately to suggest that her happiness was his main concern, and really the only thing he cared about.

Amelia had made no doubt, at the colonel’s first appearance, but that he intended to go directly to her husband. When he dropt therefore a hint of his intention to visit him next morning she appeared visibly shocked at the delay. The colonel, perceiving this, said, “However inconvenient it may be, yet, madam, if it will oblige you, or if you desire it, I will even go to-night.” Amelia answered, “My husband will be far from desiring to derive any good from your inconvenience; but, if you put it to me, I must be excused for saying I desire nothing more in the world than to send him so great a comfort as I know he will receive from the presence of such a friend.” “Then, to show you, madam,” cries the colonel, “that I desire nothing more in the world than to give you pleasure, I will go to him immediately.”

Amelia had no doubt, from the moment the colonel showed up, that he planned to go straight to her husband. So, when he casually mentioned that he would visit him the next morning, she looked visibly shocked at the delay. The colonel, noticing her reaction, said, “Even if it’s inconvenient for me, madam, if it will make you happy or if you wish it, I’ll go tonight.” Amelia replied, “My husband wouldn’t want to gain anything from your inconvenience; however, if you’re asking me, I have to say that I want nothing more than to send him the comfort I know he’ll feel from having such a friend around.” “Then, to show you, madam,” the colonel exclaimed, “that I want nothing more than to please you, I’ll go to him right away.”

Amelia then bethought herself of the serjeant, and told the colonel his old acquaintance Atkinson, whom he had known at Gibraltar, was then in the house, and would conduct him to the place. The serjeant was immediately called in, paid his respects to the colonel, and was acknowledged by him. They both immediately set forward, Amelia to the utmost of her power pressing their departure.

Amelia then remembered the sergeant and told the colonel that his old friend Atkinson, whom he had known in Gibraltar, was in the house and would take him there. The sergeant was called in right away, greeted the colonel, and was recognized by him. They both quickly set out, with Amelia doing everything she could to encourage their departure.

Mrs. Atkinson now returned to Amelia, and was by her acquainted with the colonel’s late generosity; for her heart so boiled over with gratitude that she could not conceal the ebullition. Amelia likewise gave her friend a full narrative of the colonel’s former behaviour and friendship to her husband, as well abroad as in England; and ended with declaring that she believed him to be the most generous man upon earth.

Mrs. Atkinson came back to Amelia and told her about the colonel’s recent kindness; her heart was so full of gratitude that she couldn’t hide her excitement. Amelia also shared the full story of the colonel’s past actions and friendship towards her husband, both abroad and in England, and concluded by saying that she believed him to be the most generous man on earth.

Mrs. Atkinson agreed with Amelia’s conclusion, and said she was glad to hear there was any such man. They then proceeded with the children to the tea-table, where panegyric, and not scandal, was the topic of their conversation; and of this panegyric the colonel was the subject; both the ladies seeming to vie with each other in celebrating the praises of his goodness.

Mrs. Atkinson agreed with Amelia's conclusion and expressed her happiness to hear that such a man existed. They then went with the children to the tea table, where their conversation focused on praise rather than gossip; the colonel was the main topic of admiration, with both ladies seeming to compete in celebrating his goodness.










Chapter v. — Comments upon authors.

Having left Amelia in as comfortable a situation as could possibly be expected, her immediate distresses relieved, and her heart filled with great hopes from the friendship of the colonel, we will now return to Booth, who, when the attorney and serjeant had left him, received a visit from that great author of whom honourable mention is made in our second chapter.

Having left Amelia in as comfortable a situation as could be expected, her immediate troubles eased and her heart filled with high hopes from the colonel's friendship, we will now return to Booth, who, after the attorney and sergeant had left him, received a visit from that renowned author mentioned in our second chapter.

Booth, as the reader may be pleased to remember, was a pretty good master of the classics; for his father, though he designed his son for the army, did not think it necessary to breed him up a blockhead. He did not, perhaps, imagine that a competent share of Latin and Greek would make his son either a pedant or a coward. He considered likewise, probably, that the life of a soldier is in general a life of idleness; and might think that the spare hours of an officer in country quarters would be as well employed with a book as in sauntering about the streets, loitering in a coffee-house, sotting in a tavern, or in laying schemes to debauch and ruin a set of harmless ignorant country girls.

Booth, as the reader might remember, was pretty well-versed in the classics; his father, even though he intended for his son to join the army, didn’t think it was necessary to raise him to be an idiot. He probably didn’t believe that knowing some Latin and Greek would turn his son into either a know-it-all or a coward. He likely also considered that a soldier's life is usually quite idle; he might have thought that the free time of an officer in a rural area could be better spent with a book rather than wandering around the streets, hanging out in a coffee shop, drinking in a tavern, or scheming to corrupt and ruin a bunch of unsuspecting local girls.

As Booth was therefore what might well be called, in this age at least, a man of learning, he began to discourse our author on subjects of literature. “I think, sir,” says he, “that Dr Swift hath been generally allowed, by the critics in this kingdom, to be the greatest master of humour that ever wrote. Indeed, I allow him to have possessed most admirable talents of this kind; and, if Rabelais was his master, I think he proves the truth of the common Greek proverb—that the scholar is often superior to the master. As to Cervantes, I do not think we can make any just comparison; for, though Mr. Pope compliments him with sometimes taking Cervantes’ serious air—” “I remember the passage,” cries the author;

As Booth was what we'd call a learned man today, he started discussing literature with our author. “I think, sir,” he said, “that Dr. Swift has generally been recognized by critics in this country as the greatest master of humor ever. I definitely believe he had remarkable talents in this area; and if Rabelais was his mentor, then he proves the old Greek saying—that the student can often surpass the teacher. As for Cervantes, I don’t think we can make a fair comparison; even though Mr. Pope compliments him for sometimes adopting Cervantes' serious tone—” “I remember that passage,” the author exclaimed;

     “O thou, whatever title please thine ear,
     Dean, Drapier, Bickerstaff, or Gulliver;
     Whether you take Cervantes’ serious air,
     Or laugh and shake in Rabelais’ easy chair—”
 
     “Oh you, whatever title sounds good to you,  
     Dean, Drapier, Bickerstaff, or Gulliver;  
     Whether you adopt Cervantes’ serious tone,  
     Or laugh and relax in Rabelais’ comfy chair—”

“You are right, sir,” said Booth; “but though I should agree that the doctor hath sometimes condescended to imitate Rabelais, I do not remember to have seen in his works the least attempt in the manner of Cervantes. But there is one in his own way, and whom I am convinced he studied above all others—you guess, I believe, I am going to name Lucian. This author, I say, I am convinced, he followed; but I think he followed him at a distance: as, to say the truth, every other writer of this kind hath done in my opinion; for none, I think, hath yet equalled him. I agree, indeed, entirely with Mr. Moyle, in his Discourse on the age of the Philopatris, when he gives him the epithet of the incomparable Lucian; and incomparable, I believe, he will remain as long as the language in which he wrote shall endure. What an inimitable piece of humour is his Cock!” “I remember it very well,” cries the author; “his story of a Cock and a Bull is excellent.” Booth stared at this, and asked the author what he meant by the Bull? “Nay,” answered he, “I don’t know very well, upon my soul. It is a long time since I read him. I learnt him all over at school; I have not read him much since. And pray, sir,” said he, “how do you like his Pharsalia? don’t you think Mr. Rowe’s translation a very fine one?” Booth replied, “I believe we are talking of different authors. The Pharsalia, which Mr. Rowe translated, was written by Lucan; but I have been speaking of Lucian, a Greek writer, and, in my opinion, the greatest in the humorous way that ever the world produced.” “Ay!” cries the author, “he was indeed so, a very excellent writer indeed! I fancy a translation of him would sell very well!” “I do not know, indeed,” cries Booth. “A good translation of him would be a valuable book. I have seen a wretched one published by Mr. Dryden, but translated by others, who in many places have misunderstood Lucian’s meaning, and have nowhere preserved the spirit of the original.” “That is great pity,” says the author. “Pray, sir, is he well translated in the French?” Booth answered, he could not tell; but that he doubted it very much, having never seen a good version into that language out of the Greek.” To confess the truth, I believe,” said he, “the French translators have generally consulted the Latin only; which, in some of the few Greek writers I have read, is intolerably bad. And as the English translators, for the most part, pursue the French, we may easily guess what spirit those copies of bad copies must preserve of the original.”

“You're right, sir,” said Booth; “but while I might agree that the doctor sometimes tries to mimic Rabelais, I don’t recall seeing any attempt in his works to imitate Cervantes. However, there is one writer he clearly studied above all others—you might guess, I’m referring to Lucian. I believe he followed Lucian’s style, but from a distance: honestly, I think every other writer of this type has done the same, because no one has matched his brilliance. I completely agree with Mr. Moyle in his Discourse on the age of the Philopatris when he calls him the incomparable Lucian; and I think he will remain incomparable as long as the language he wrote in exists. What an incredible piece of humor is his Cock!” “I remember it well,” exclaimed the author; “his story of a Cock and a Bull is fantastic.” Booth looked surprised and asked the author what he meant by the Bull. “Well,” he replied, “I can't say for sure, honestly. It’s been a long time since I read it. I learned it all in school; I haven’t read it much since then. And tell me, sir,” he said, “what do you think of his Pharsalia? Don’t you think Mr. Rowe’s translation is quite good?” Booth responded, “I think we’re talking about different authors. The Pharsalia that Mr. Rowe translated was written by Lucan, but I’ve been talking about Lucian, a Greek writer, and, in my opinion, the greatest humorist the world has ever known.” “Oh!” exclaimed the author, “he truly was an excellent writer! I imagine a translation of him would sell really well!” “I’m not so sure,” Booth replied. “A good translation of him would be a valuable book. I’ve seen a terrible one published by Mr. Dryden, but translated by others who often misunderstood Lucian’s meaning and never captured the spirit of the original.” “That’s a real shame,” said the author. “By the way, is he well translated into French?” Booth answered that he wasn’t sure; however, he doubted it, having never seen a good version from the Greek into that language. “To be honest,” he said, “I believe the French translators generally only consult the Latin, which, in the few Greek writers I've read, is absolutely dreadful. And since the English translators mostly follow the French, we can easily imagine what kind of spirit those copies of bad copies must preserve from the original.”

“Egad, you are a shrewd guesser,” cries the author. “I am glad the booksellers have not your sagacity. But how should it be otherwise, considering the price they pay by the sheet? The Greek, you will allow, is a hard language; and there are few gentlemen that write who can read it without a good lexicon. Now, sir, if we were to afford time to find out the true meaning of words, a gentleman would not get bread and cheese by his work. If one was to be paid, indeed, as Mr. Pope was for his Homer—Pray, sir, don’t you think that the best translation in the world?”

“Wow, you're quite a smart guesser,” the author exclaims. “I’m glad the booksellers don’t have your insight. But how could it be any different, considering how much they pay per page? Greek, as you might agree, is a tough language; and there are few writers who can read it without a good dictionary. Now, if we took the time to truly understand the meaning of words, a gentleman wouldn’t be able to make a living from his work. If one were to be paid, like Mr. Pope was for his translation of Homer—don’t you think that’s the best translation in the world?”

“Indeed, sir,” cries Booth, “I think, though it is certainly a noble paraphrase, and of itself a fine poem, yet in some places it is no translation at all. In the very beginning, for instance, he hath not rendered the true force of the author. Homer invokes his muse in the five first lines of the Iliad; and, at the end of the fifth, he gives his reason:

“Indeed, sir,” Booth exclaims, “I believe that although it's definitely a great paraphrase and a fine poem on its own, in some areas it isn't a translation at all. For example, right at the beginning, he hasn't captured the true essence of the original author. Homer calls upon his muse in the first five lines of the Iliad; and at the end of the fifth, he explains why:

   {Greek}
{Greek}

For all these things,” says he, “were brought about by the decree of Jupiter; and, therefore, he supposes their true sources are known only to the deities. Now, the translation takes no more notice of the {Greek} than if no such word had been there.”

"For all these things," he says, "were brought about by Jupiter’s decree; and, therefore, he believes their true sources are known only to the gods. Now, the translation pays no more attention to the {Greek} than if that word had never existed."

“Very possibly,” answered the author; “it is a long time since I read the original. Perhaps, then, he followed the French translations. I observe, indeed, he talks much in the notes of Madam Dacier and Monsieur Eustathius.”

“Very likely,” replied the author; “it’s been a while since I read the original. Maybe he relied on the French translations. I notice, in fact, that he references Madam Dacier and Monsieur Eustathius quite a bit in the notes.”

Booth had now received conviction enough of his friend’s knowledge of the Greek language; without attempting, therefore, to set him right, he made a sudden transition to the Latin. “Pray, sir,” said he, “as you have mentioned Rowe’s translation of the Pharsalia, do you remember how he hath rendered that passage in the character of Cato?—

Booth was now convinced of his friend's knowledge of Greek; so without trying to correct him, he suddenly switched to Latin. “Excuse me, sir,” he said, “since you mentioned Rowe’s translation of the Pharsalia, do you remember how he translated that passage in the character of Cato?—

    ——Venerisque huic maximus usus
        Progenies; urbi Pater est, urbique Maritus.
——And this greatest use for honor 
    is offspring; the Father is for the city, and the Husband is for the city.

For I apprehend that passage is generally misunderstood.”

For I believe that passage is usually misunderstood.

“I really do not remember,” answered the author. “Pray, sir, what do you take to be the meaning?”

"I really don’t remember," replied the author. "Please, sir, what do you think the meaning is?"

“I apprehend, sir,” replied Booth, “that by these words, Urbi Pater est, urbique Maritus, Cato is represented as the father and husband to the city of Rome.”

“I get it, sir,” replied Booth, “that with these words, Urbi Pater est, urbique Maritus, Cato is portrayed as both the father and husband of the city of Rome.”

“Very true, sir,” cries the author; “very fine, indeed.—Not only the father of his country, but the husband too; very noble, truly!”

“Very true, sir,” shouts the author; “very nice, indeed.—Not only the father of his country, but also the husband; very noble, truly!”

“Pardon me, sir,” cries Booth; “I do not conceive that to have been Lucan’s meaning. If you please to observe the context; Lucan, having commended the temperance of Cato in the instances of diet and cloaths, proceeds to venereal pleasures; of which, says the poet, his principal use was procreation: then he adds, Urbi Pater est, urbique Maritus; that he became a father and a husband for the sake only of the city.”

“Excuse me, sir,” Booth exclaims; “I don’t think that’s what Lucan meant. If you take a look at the context; Lucan, after praising Cato’s self-control in terms of diet and clothing, goes on to discuss sexual pleasures; of which, the poet says, his main purpose was to procreate: then he adds, Urbi Pater est, urbique Maritus; that he became a father and a husband solely for the good of the city.”

“Upon my word that’s true,” cries the author; “I did not think of it. It is much finer than the other.—Urbis Pater est—what is the other?—ay—Urbis Maritus.—It is certainly as you say, sir.”

“Honestly, that's true,” says the author; “I didn't think of that. It's much better than the other one.—Urbis Pater est—what's the other?—oh right—Urbis Maritus.—It really is as you said, sir.”

Booth was by this pretty well satisfied of the author’s profound learning; however, he was willing to try him a little farther. He asked him, therefore, what was his opinion of Lucan in general, and in what class of writers he ranked him?

Booth was pretty satisfied with the author’s deep knowledge; however, he wanted to test him a bit more. So, he asked him what he thought of Lucan overall and what category of writers he placed him in.

The author stared a little at this question; and, after some hesitation, answered, “Certainly, sir, I think he is a fine writer and a very great poet.”

The author looked at the question for a moment, and after a bit of hesitation, replied, “Absolutely, sir, I believe he’s an excellent writer and a truly great poet.”

“I am very much of the same opinion,” cries Booth; “but where do you class him—next to what poet do you place him?”

“I totally agree,” Booth says; “but how do you categorize him—next to which poet do you put him?”

“Let me see,” cries the author; “where do I class him? next to whom do I place him?—Ay!—why—why, pray, where do you yourself place him?”

“Let me think,” says the author; “how do I categorize him? who do I put him next to?—Oh!—well—where do you think he belongs?”

“Why, surely,” cries Booth, “if he is not to be placed in the first rank with Homer, and Virgil, and Milton, I think clearly he is at the head of the second, before either Statius or Silius Italicus—though I allow to each of these their merits; but, perhaps, an epic poem was beyond the genius of either. I own, I have often thought, if Statius had ventured no farther than Ovid or Claudian, he would have succeeded better; for his Sylvae are, in my opinion, much better than his Thebais.”

“Of course,” Booth exclaims, “if he’s not going to be ranked with Homer, Virgil, and Milton, I definitely think he’s at the top of the second tier, ahead of Statius or Silius Italicus—though I recognize their merits. But maybe an epic poem was beyond both of their talents. I’ve often thought that if Statius had stuck with writing like Ovid or Claudian, he would have done better because, in my view, his Sylvae are much better than his Thebais.”

“I believe I was of the same opinion formerly,” said the author.

“I think I felt the same way before,” said the author.

“And for what reason have you altered it?” cries Booth.

“And why did you change it?” Booth exclaims.

“I have not altered it,” answered the author; “but, to tell you the truth, I have not any opinion at all about these matters at present. I do not trouble my head much with poetry; for there is no encouragement to such studies in this age. It is true, indeed, I have now and then wrote a poem or two for the magazines, but I never intend to write any more; for a gentleman is not paid for his time. A sheet is a sheet with the booksellers; and, whether it be in prose or verse, they make no difference; though certainly there is as much difference to a gentleman in the work as there is to a taylor between making a plain and a laced suit. Rhimes are difficult things; they are stubborn things, sir. I have been sometimes longer in tagging a couplet than I have been in writing a speech on the side of the opposition which hath been read with great applause all over the kingdom.”

“I haven’t changed it,” replied the author, “but honestly, I don’t have any strong feelings about this stuff right now. I don’t really think about poetry much because there’s no incentive for that kind of work these days. It’s true that I’ve written a poem or two for magazines here and there, but I don’t plan to write any more. A gentleman doesn't get paid for his time. A page is just a page to the booksellers; whether it’s prose or poetry, they don’t see a difference. But there’s definitely a difference for a gentleman in the work, just like there’s a difference for a tailor between making a basic suit and a fancy one. Rhymes are tricky; they can be quite a challenge, sir. Sometimes I’ve spent longer trying to finish a couplet than it took me to write a speech for the opposition that was praised all over the country.”

“I am glad you are pleased to confirm that,” cries Booth; “for I protest it was an entire secret to me till this day. I was so perfectly ignorant, that I thought the speeches published in the magazines were really made by the members themselves.”

“I’m glad you’re happy to confirm that,” Booth exclaims; “because I seriously had no idea until today. I was so completely in the dark that I really thought the speeches published in the magazines were actually delivered by the members themselves.”

“Some of them, and I believe I may, without vanity, say the best,” cries the author, “are all the productions of my own pen! but I believe I shall leave it off soon, unless a sheet of speech will fetch more than it does at present. In truth, the romance-writing is the only branch of our business now that is worth following. Goods of that sort have had so much success lately in the market, that a bookseller scarce cares what he bids for them. And it is certainly the easiest work in the world; you may write it almost as fast as you can set pen to paper; and if you interlard it with a little scandal, a little abuse on some living characters of note, you cannot fail of success.”

“Some of them, and I think I can say without being vain that they’re the best,” says the author, “are all from my own pen! But I think I’ll stop soon, unless writing another one will earn more than it does now. Honestly, writing romance is the only part of our business that’s worth pursuing right now. Those kinds of books have been so popular lately that a bookseller hardly cares what he offers for them. And it's definitely the easiest work out there; you can write it almost as quickly as you can put pen to paper. Plus, if you sprinkle in a bit of gossip and some criticism of well-known figures, you’re bound to succeed.”

“Upon my word, sir,” cries Booth, “you have greatly instructed me. I could not have imagined there had been so much regularity in the trade of writing as you are pleased to mention; by what I can perceive, the pen and ink is likely to become the staple commodity of the kingdom.”

“Honestly, sir,” Booth exclaims, “you’ve really taught me a lot. I never could have imagined there was so much order in the writing business as you’re saying; from what I can see, pen and ink are on track to become the main products of the kingdom.”

“Alas! sir,” answered the author, “it is overstocked. The market is overstocked. There is no encouragement to merit, no patrons. I have been these five years soliciting a subscription for my new translation of Ovid’s Metamorphoses, with notes explanatory, historical, and critical; and I have scarce collected five hundred names yet.”

“Unfortunately, sir,” the author replied, “the market is flooded. There’s no support for talent, no sponsors. For the past five years, I’ve been trying to get people to subscribe to my new translation of Ovid’s Metamorphoses, complete with explanatory, historical, and critical notes; and I’ve barely gathered five hundred names so far.”

The mention of this translation a little surprized Booth; not only as the author had just declared his intentions to forsake the tuneful muses; but, for some other reasons which he had collected from his conversation with our author, he little expected to hear of a proposal to translate any of the Latin poets. He proceeded, therefore, to catechise him a little farther; and by his answers was fully satisfied that he had the very same acquaintance with Ovid that he had appeared to have with Lucan.

The mention of this translation surprised Booth a bit; not only because the author had just said he planned to give up writing poetry, but also for some other reasons he had gathered from their conversation. He didn’t expect to hear about a proposal to translate any of the Latin poets. So, he decided to ask him a few more questions, and from his answers, he was completely convinced that he had the same level of familiarity with Ovid as he had seemed to have with Lucan.

The author then pulled out a bundle of papers containing proposals for his subscription, and receipts; and, addressing himself to Booth, said, “Though the place in which we meet, sir, is an improper place to solicit favours of this kind, yet, perhaps, it may be in your power to serve me if you will charge your pockets with some of these.” Booth was just offering at an excuse, when the bailiff introduced Colonel James and the serjeant.

The author then pulled out a stack of papers with his subscription proposals and receipts, and, turning to Booth, said, “Even though this isn’t the right place to ask for favors like this, maybe you could help me out if you could take some of these.” Booth was about to make an excuse when the bailiff brought in Colonel James and the sergeant.

The unexpected visit of a beloved friend to a man in affliction, especially in Mr. Booth’s situation, is a comfort which can scarce be equalled; not barely from the hopes of relief or redress by his assistance, but as it is an evidence of sincere friendship which scarce admits of any doubt or suspicion. Such an instance doth indeed make a man amends for all ordinary troubles and distresses; and we ought to think ourselves gainers by having had such an opportunity of discovering that we are possessed of one of the most valuable of all human possessions.

The unexpected visit from a dear friend to a man in distress, especially in Mr. Booth’s case, offers a comfort that is hard to match. It’s not just about the hope for help or support from his friend, but also because it proves genuine friendship, which leaves little room for doubt or suspicion. This kind of encounter really does make up for all the usual troubles and hardships we face; we should consider ourselves lucky to have had the chance to realize that we have one of the most valuable things a person can possess.

Booth was so transported at the sight of the colonel, that he dropt the proposals which the author had put into his hands, and burst forth into the highest professions of gratitude to his friend; who behaved very properly on his side, and said everything which became the mouth of a friend on the occasion.

Booth was so overwhelmed at the sight of the colonel that he dropped the proposals the author had given him and expressed his deepest gratitude to his friend, who responded appropriately and said everything a true friend should in that moment.

It is true, indeed, he seemed not moved equally either with Booth or the serjeant, both whose eyes watered at the scene. In truth, the colonel, though a very generous man, had not the least grain of tenderness in his disposition. His mind was formed of those firm materials of which nature formerly hammered out the Stoic, and upon which the sorrows of no man living could make an impression. A man of this temper, who doth not much value danger, will fight for the person he calls his friend, and the man that hath but little value for his money will give it him; but such friendship is never to be absolutely depended on; for, whenever the favourite passion interposes with it, it is sure to subside and vanish into air. Whereas the man whose tender disposition really feels the miseries of another will endeavour to relieve them for his own sake; and, in such a mind, friendship will often get the superiority over every other passion.

It's true, he didn't seem as affected as Booth or the sergeant, both of whom had tears in their eyes at the scene. In reality, the colonel, while a very generous man, lacked any real tenderness in his nature. His mind was made of the same tough stuff that formed the Stoics, and no one's sorrows could leave a mark on him. A man like this, who doesn't think much of danger, will fight for a friend, and someone who doesn't care much about money will lend it; but that kind of friendship can’t be absolutely relied on because whenever a stronger passion comes into play, it’s bound to fade away. On the other hand, someone with a more sensitive nature who truly feels for others will try to help them for their own sake; and in such a person, friendship will often take precedence over any other emotion.

But, from whatever motive it sprung, the colonel’s behaviour to Booth seemed truly amiable; and so it appeared to the author, who took the first occasion to applaud it in a very florid oration; which the reader, when he recollects that he was a speech-maker by profession, will not be surprized at; nor, perhaps, will be much more surprized that he soon after took an occasion of clapping a proposal into the colonel’s hands, holding at the same time a receipt very visible in his own.

But regardless of what motivated it, the colonel's behavior towards Booth seemed genuinely friendly; and that’s how it looked to the author, who eagerly took the first opportunity to praise it in a very elaborate speech. The reader, knowing that he was a professional speaker, won’t be surprised by this; nor will they likely be shocked when he quickly followed up by handing the colonel a proposal while clearly holding a receipt himself.

The colonel received both, and gave the author a guinea in exchange, which was double the sum mentioned in the receipt; for which the author made a low bow, and very politely took his leave, saying, “I suppose, gentlemen, you may have some private business together; I heartily wish a speedy end to your confinement, and I congratulate you on the possessing so great, so noble, and so generous a friend.”

The colonel accepted both items and handed the author a guinea in return, which was twice the amount stated on the receipt. The author responded with a slight bow and politely excused himself, saying, “I assume, gentlemen, you might have some private matters to discuss; I sincerely hope for a quick resolution to your situation, and I congratulate you on having such a great, noble, and generous friend.”










Chapter vi. — Which inclines rather to satire than panegyric.

The colonel had the curiosity to ask Booth the name of the gentleman who, in the vulgar language, had struck, or taken him in for a guinea with so much ease and dexterity. Booth answered, he did not know his name; all that he knew of him was, that he was the most impudent and illiterate fellow he had ever seen, and that, by his own account, he was the author of most of the wonderful productions of the age. “Perhaps,” said he, “it may look uncharitable in me to blame you for your generosity; but I am convinced the fellow hath not the least merit or capacity, and you have subscribed to the most horrid trash that ever was published.”

The colonel was curious to ask Booth the name of the guy who, in plain terms, had easily swindled him out of a guinea. Booth replied that he didn’t know his name; all he could tell was that he was the most brazen and ignorant person he had ever encountered, and that, according to himself, he was the creator of most of the amazing works of the time. “Maybe,” he said, “it seems uncharitable for me to criticize you for your kindness; but I’m convinced the guy has no talent or skill whatsoever, and you’ve supported the worst nonsense that’s ever been published.”

“I care not a farthing what he publishes,” cries the colonel. “Heaven forbid I should be obliged to read half the nonsense I have subscribed to.”

“I don’t care at all about what he publishes,” the colonel exclaims. “God forbid I should have to read half the nonsense I’ve signed up for.”

“But don’t you think,” said Booth, “that by such indiscriminate encouragement of authors you do a real mischief to the society? By propagating the subscriptions of such fellows, people are tired out and withhold their contributions to men of real merit; and, at the same time, you are contributing to fill the world, not only with nonsense, but with all the scurrility, indecency, and profaneness with which the age abounds, and with which all bad writers supply the defect of genius.”

“But don’t you think,” said Booth, “that by encouraging just any authors, you’re causing real harm to society? By promoting subscriptions for these people, you wear out the public and make them hesitant to support truly talented individuals; and at the same time, you’re helping to fill the world not just with nonsense, but also with all the insults, indecency, and vulgarity that are all too common today, which all the bad writers use to cover up their lack of talent.”

“Pugh!” cries the colonel, “I never consider these matters. Good or bad, it is all one to me; but there’s an acquaintance of mine, and a man of great wit too, that thinks the worst the best, as they are the surest to make him laugh.”

“Pugh!” the colonel exclaims, “I never think about these things. Good or bad, it’s all the same to me; but there’s a friend of mine, a really witty guy, who believes that the worst things are the best since they always make him laugh.”

“I ask pardon, sir,” says the serjeant; “but I wish your honour would consider your own affairs a little, for it grows late in the evening.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” says the sergeant; “but I wish you would think about your own matters for a moment, as it's getting late in the evening.”

“The serjeant says true,” answered the colonel. “What is it you intend to do?”

“The sergeant is right,” replied the colonel. “What do you plan to do?”

“Faith, colonel, I know not what I shall do. My affairs seem so irreparable, that I have been driving them as much as possibly I could from my mind. If I was to suffer alone, I think I could bear them with some philosophy; but when I consider who are to be the sharers in my fortune—the dearest of children, and the best, the worthiest, and the noblest of women—-Pardon me, my dear friend, these sensations are above me; they convert me into a woman; they drive me to despair, to madness.”

“Honestly, Colonel, I don’t know what I’m going to do. My situation feels so hopeless that I’ve been trying to push it out of my mind as much as I can. If I had to suffer alone, I think I could handle it with some level of acceptance; but when I think about who will share in my fate—the ones I love most, my precious children, and the best, the most deserving, and the bravest of women—please forgive me, my dear friend, these feelings overwhelm me; they make me feel like a woman; they drive me to despair, to madness.”

The colonel advised him to command himself, and told him this was not the way to retrieve his fortune. “As to me, my dear Booth,” said he, “you know you may command me as far as is really within my power.”

The colonel advised him to get a grip on himself and told him this wasn’t the way to get his fortune back. “As for me, my dear Booth,” he said, “you know you can count on me as much as I'm truly able.”

Booth answered eagerly, that he was so far from expecting any more favours from the colonel, that he had resolved not to let him know anything of his misfortune. “No, my dear friend,” cries he, “I am too much obliged to you already;” and then burst into many fervent expressions of gratitude, till the colonel himself stopt him, and begged him to give an account of the debt or debts for which he was detained in that horrid place.

Booth eagerly replied that he was so far from expecting any more favors from the colonel that he had decided not to let him know about his misfortune. “No, my dear friend,” he said, “I’m already so grateful to you;” and then he began to express his gratitude fervently until the colonel himself stopped him and asked him to explain the debt or debts that were keeping him in that dreadful place.

Booth answered, he could not be very exact, but he feared it was upwards of four hundred pounds.

Booth replied that he couldn't be very precise, but he was worried it was more than four hundred pounds.

“It is but three hundred pounds, indeed, sir,” cries the serjeant; “if you can raise three hundred pounds, you are a free man this moment.”

“It’s only three hundred pounds, really, sir,” the sergeant exclaims; “if you can come up with three hundred pounds, you’re a free man right now.”

Booth, who did not apprehend the generous meaning of the serjeant as well as, I believe, the reader will, answered he was mistaken; that he had computed his debts, and they amounted to upwards of four hundred pounds; nay, that the bailiff had shewn him writs for above that sum.

Booth, who didn’t grasp the kind meaning of the sergeant as well as, I believe, the reader will, replied that he was wrong; that he had calculated his debts, and they added up to over four hundred pounds; in fact, the bailiff had shown him documents for more than that amount.

“Whether your debts are three or four hundred,” cries the colonel, “the present business is to give bail only, and then you will have some time to try your friends: I think you might get a company abroad, and then I would advance the money on the security of half your pay; and, in the mean time, I will be one of your bail with all my heart.”

“Whether your debts are three or four hundred,” the colonel shouts, “the important thing right now is to get bail, and then you’ll have some time to reach out to your friends: I think you could get a job overseas, and then I would lend you the money based on half your pay; in the meantime, I’ll gladly be one of your guarantors.”

Whilst Booth poured forth his gratitude for all this kindness, the serjeant ran down-stairs for the bailiff, and shortly after returned with him into the room.

While Booth expressed his gratitude for all this kindness, the sergeant ran downstairs for the bailiff and soon returned with him to the room.

The bailiff, being informed that the colonel offered to be bail for his prisoner, answered a little surlily, “Well, sir, and who will be the other? you know, I suppose, there must be two; and I must have time to enquire after them.”

The bailiff, hearing that the colonel was willing to be bail for his prisoner, replied a bit curtly, “Well, sir, who will the other one be? You do know, I assume, that there has to be two; and I need time to look into that.”

The colonel replied, “I believe, sir, I am well known to be responsible for a much larger sum than your demand on this gentleman; but, if your forms require two, I suppose the serjeant here will do for the other.”

The colonel replied, “I believe, sir, I’m known to be accountable for a much larger amount than what you’re asking from this gentleman; but if your procedures require two, I guess the sergeant here can serve as the other.”

“I don’t know the serjeant nor you either, sir,” cries Bondum; “and, if you propose yourselves bail for the gentleman, I must have time to enquire after you.”

“I don’t know the sergeant or you, either, sir,” shouts Bondum; “and if you want to act as bail for the gentleman, I need time to check on you.”

“You need very little time to enquire after me,” says the colonel, “for I can send for several of the law, whom I suppose you know, to satisfy you; but consider, it is very late.”

“You don’t need much time to ask about me,” the colonel says. “I can call in a few lawyers you probably know to answer your questions; but keep in mind, it’s quite late.”

“Yes, sir,” answered Bondum, “I do consider it is too late for the captain to be bailed to-night.”

“Yes, sir,” Bondum replied, “I think it's too late for the captain to be bailed out tonight.”

“What do you mean by too late?” cries the colonel.

“What do you mean by too late?” yells the colonel.

“I mean, sir, that I must search the office, and that is now shut up; for, if my lord mayor and the court of aldermen would be bound for him, I would not discharge him till I had searched the office.”

“I mean, sir, that I need to search the office, and it’s currently closed; because if the lord mayor and the court of aldermen would vouch for him, I wouldn’t let him go until I had searched the office.”

“How, sir!” cries the colonel, “hath the law of England no more regard for the liberty of the subject than to suffer such fellows as you to detain a man in custody for debt, when he can give undeniable security?”

“How, sir!” shouts the colonel, “does the law of England not care about the liberty of the individual enough to allow people like you to keep a man in custody for debt when he can provide undeniable security?”

“Don’t fellow me,” said the bailiff; “I am as good a fellow as yourself, I believe, though you have that riband in your hat there.”

“Don’t follow me,” said the bailiff; “I’m just as good a guy as you are, I believe, even though you have that ribbon in your hat there.”

“Do you know whom you are speaking to?” said the serjeant. “Do you know you are talking to a colonel of the army?”

“Do you know who you’re talking to?” said the sergeant. “Do you realize you’re speaking to a colonel of the army?”

“What’s a colonel of the army to me?” cries the bailiff. “I have had as good as he in my custody before now.”

“What does a colonel in the army matter to me?” the bailiff exclaims. “I've had guys just as important in my custody before.”

“And a member of parliament?” cries the serjeant.

“And a member of parliament?” shouts the sergeant.

“Is the gentleman a member of parliament?—Well, and what harm have I said? I am sure I meant no harm; and, if his honour is offended, I ask his pardon; to be sure his honour must know that the sheriff is answerable for all the writs in the office, though they were never so many, and I am answerable to the sheriff. I am sure the captain can’t say that I have shewn him any manner of incivility since he hath been here.—And I hope, honourable sir,” cries he, turning to the colonel, “you don’t take anything amiss that I said, or meant by way of disrespect, or any such matter. I did not, indeed, as the gentleman here says, know who I was speaking to; but I did not say anything uncivil as I know of, and I hope no offence.”

“Is the gentleman a member of parliament?—Well, what harm have I said? I assure you, I meant no harm; and if he’s offended, I apologize. He must understand that the sheriff is responsible for all the writs in the office, no matter how many there are, and I am accountable to the sheriff. I’m certain the captain can’t say that I’ve treated him disrespectfully since he arrived. —And I hope, honorable sir,” he says, turning to the colonel, “you don’t take anything I said the wrong way or think I meant any disrespect. I honestly didn’t know who I was speaking to, but I didn’t say anything rude to my knowledge, and I hope there’s no offense.”

The colonel was more easily pacified than might have been expected, and told the bailiff that, if it was against the rules of law to discharge Mr. Booth that evening, he must be contented. He then addressed himself to his friend, and began to prescribe comfort and patience to him; saying, he must rest satisfied with his confinement that night; and the next morning he promised to visit him again.

The colonel was calmer than expected and told the bailiff that if it was against the law to release Mr. Booth that evening, he would have to accept it. He then turned to his friend and started to offer him comfort and advice, saying he should be okay with spending the night in confinement; he promised to come back and see him the following morning.

Booth answered, that as for himself, the lying one night in any place was very little worth his regard. “You and I, my dear friend, have both spent our evening in a worse situation than I shall in this house. All my concern is for my poor Amelia, whose sufferings on account of my absence I know, and I feel with unspeakable tenderness. Could I be assured she was tolerably easy, I could be contented in chains or in a dungeon.”

Booth replied that for him, spending one night anywhere didn’t really matter much. “You and I, my dear friend, have both been in worse situations than I will be in this house. What worries me most is my poor Amelia, whose pain from my absence I know and feel with unimaginable tenderness. If I could be sure she was doing relatively well, I could be at peace even in chains or in a dungeon.”

“Give yourself no concern on her account,” said the colonel; “I will wait on her myself, though I break an engagement for that purpose, and will give her such assurances as I am convinced will make her perfectly easy.”

“Don't worry about her,” said the colonel; “I'll take care of her myself, even if it means canceling my plans, and I’ll reassure her in a way that I know will make her feel completely at ease.”

Booth embraced his friend, and, weeping over him, paid his acknowledgment with tears for all his goodness. In words, indeed, he was not able to thank him; for gratitude, joining with his other passions, almost choaked him, and stopt his utterance.

Booth hugged his friend tightly, and while crying, expressed his appreciation with tears for all his kindness. He couldn't find the words to thank him because his gratitude, mixed with his other emotions, nearly overwhelmed him and made it hard for him to speak.

After a short scene in which nothing past worth recounting, the colonel bid his friend good night, and leaving the serjeant with him, made the best of his way back to Amelia.

After a brief moment where nothing significant happened, the colonel said goodnight to his friend and, leaving the sergeant with him, hurried back to Amelia.










Chapter vii. — Worthy a very serious perusal.

The colonel found Amelia sitting very disconsolate with Mrs. Atkinson. He entered the room with an air of great gaiety, assured Amelia that her husband was perfectly well, and that he hoped the next day he would again be with her.

The colonel found Amelia sitting very unhappily with Mrs. Atkinson. He entered the room with a cheerful demeanor, reassured Amelia that her husband was perfectly fine, and that he hoped to be with her again the next day.

Amelia was a little comforted at this account, and vented many grateful expressions to the colonel for his unparalleled friendship, as she was pleased to call it. She could not, however, help giving way soon after to a sigh at the thoughts of her husband’s bondage, and declared that night would be the longest she had ever known.

Amelia felt a bit comforted by this story and expressed her gratitude to the colonel for his exceptional friendship, which she was happy to call it. However, she couldn't help but let out a sigh thinkin about her husband’s captivity, and she said that tonight would be the longest she had ever experienced.

“This lady, madam,” cries the colonel, “must endeavour to make it shorter. And, if you will give me leave, I will join in the same endeavour.” Then, after some more consolatory speeches, the colonel attempted to give a gay turn to the discourse, and said, “I was engaged to have spent this evening disagreeably at Ranelagh, with a set of company I did not like. How vastly am I obliged to you, dear Mrs. Booth, that I pass it so infinitely more to my satisfaction!”

“This lady, ma'am,” the colonel exclaims, “needs to try to make it shorter. And if you’ll allow me, I’ll join in that effort too.” Then, after a few more comforting words, the colonel tried to lighten the conversation and said, “I was supposed to spend this evening unpleasantly at Ranelagh, with a group of people I didn’t like. I’m so grateful to you, dear Mrs. Booth, for allowing me to enjoy it so much more!”

“Indeed, colonel,” said Amelia, “I am convinced that to a mind so rightly turned as yours there must be a much sweeter relish in the highest offices of friendship than in any pleasures which the gayest public places can afford.”

“Absolutely, Colonel,” Amelia said. “I truly believe that for a mind as well-balanced as yours, the joy of deep friendship has to be much more rewarding than any fun you can find in the liveliest public places.”

“Upon my word, madam,” said the colonel, “you now do me more than justice. I have, and always had, the utmost indifference for such pleasures. Indeed, I hardly allow them worthy of that name, or, if they are so at all, it is in a very low degree. In my opinion the highest friendship must always lead us to the highest pleasure.”

“Honestly, ma’am,” said the colonel, “you’re being more kind than I deserve. I have, and have always had, zero interest in such pleasures. In fact, I barely consider them worthy of that title, and if they are at all, it’s only to a small extent. I believe that the deepest friendships should always bring us the greatest joy.”

Here Amelia entered into a long dissertation on friendship, in which she pointed several times directly at the colonel as the hero of her tale.

Here Amelia launched into a lengthy discussion about friendship, where she repeatedly highlighted the colonel as the main character in her story.

The colonel highly applauded all her sentiments; and when he could not avoid taking the compliment to himself, he received it with a most respectful bow. He then tried his hand likewise at description, in which he found means to repay all Amelia’s panegyric in kind. This, though he did with all possible delicacy, yet a curious observer might have been apt to suspect that it was chiefly on her account that the colonel had avoided the masquerade.

The colonel praised all her feelings and, when he couldn’t help but take the compliment personally, he accepted it with a deep bow. He then attempted to describe his thoughts as well, managing to return Amelia’s praise in a similar way. Although he approached this with as much finesse as possible, a keen observer might have suspected that it was mainly for her sake that the colonel had steered clear of the masquerade.

In discourses of this kind they passed the evening, till it was very late, the colonel never offering to stir from his chair before the clock had struck one; when he thought, perhaps, that decency obliged him to take his leave.

In conversations like this, they spent the evening until it got really late, with the colonel not even getting up from his chair until the clock struck one; at which point he probably felt it was polite to excuse himself.

As soon as he was gone Mrs. Atkinson said to Mrs. Booth, “I think, madam, you told me this afternoon that the colonel was married?”

As soon as he left, Mrs. Atkinson said to Mrs. Booth, “I believe you mentioned this afternoon that the colonel was married?”

Amelia answered, she did so.

Amelia replied, she did.

“I think likewise, madam,” said Mrs. Atkinson, “you was acquainted with the colonel’s lady?”

“I think the same, ma’am,” said Mrs. Atkinson, “you knew the colonel’s wife?”

Amelia answered that she had been extremely intimate with her abroad.

Amelia replied that she had been very close with her while they were overseas.

“Is she young and handsome?” said Mrs. Atkinson. “In short, pray, was it a match of love or convenience?”

“Is she young and attractive?” asked Mrs. Atkinson. “In short, please tell me, was it a match based on love or convenience?”

Amelia answered, entirely of love, she believed, on his side; for that the lady had little or no fortune.

Amelia replied, completely out of love, as she thought, on his part; because the lady had little or no money.

“I am very glad to hear it,” said Mrs. Atkinson; “for I am sure the colonel is in love with somebody. I think I never saw a more luscious picture of love drawn than that which he was pleased to give us as the portraiture of friendship. I have read, indeed, of Pylades and Orestes, Damon and Pythias, and other great friends of old; nay, I sometimes flatter myself that I am capable of being a friend myself; but as for that fine, soft, tender, delicate passion, which he was pleased to describe, I am convinced there must go a he and a she to the composition.”

“I’m really happy to hear that,” Mrs. Atkinson said. “I’m sure the colonel is in love with someone. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more vivid picture of love than the one he presented as a depiction of friendship. I’ve read about Pylades and Orestes, Damon and Pythias, and other great friends from the past; sometimes I even like to think I’m capable of being a friend myself. But as for that beautiful, soft, tender, delicate passion he described, I’m convinced it takes a guy and a girl to make it happen.”

“Upon my word, my dear, you are mistaken,” cries Amelia. “If you had known the friendship which hath always subsisted between the colonel and my husband, you would not imagine it possible for any description to exceed it. Nay, I think his behaviour this very day is sufficient to convince you.”

“Honestly, my dear, you’re mistaken,” Amelia exclaims. “If you understood the friendship that has always existed between the colonel and my husband, you wouldn’t think it possible for any description to surpass it. In fact, I believe his behavior today is enough to convince you.”

“I own what he hath done to-day hath great merit,” said Mrs. Atkinson; “and yet, from what he hath said to-night—You will pardon me, dear madam; perhaps I am too quick-sighted in my observations; nay, I am afraid I am even impertinent.”

“I believe what he did today has a lot of value,” said Mrs. Atkinson; “and yet, from what he said tonight—Please forgive me, dear madam; maybe I’m being too perceptive in my observations; no, I’m afraid I might even be rude.”

“Fie upon it!” cries Amelia; “how can you talk in that strain? Do you imagine I expect ceremony? Pray speak what you think with the utmost freedom.”

“Ugh!” Amelia exclaims; “how can you talk like that? Do you really think I expect formality? Please just say what you think as freely as you want.”

“Did he not then,” said Mrs. Atkinson, “repeat the words, the finest woman in the world, more than once? did he not make use of an expression which might have become the mouth of Oroondates himself? If I remember, the words were these—that, had he been Alexander the Great, he should have thought it more glory to have wiped off a tear from the bright eyes of Statira than to have conquered fifty worlds.”

“Did he not then,” said Mrs. Atkinson, “say the words, the finest woman in the world, more than once? Did he not use a phrase that could have come from Oroondates himself? If I recall correctly, the words were that, if he had been Alexander the Great, he would have thought it greater glory to wipe a tear from Statira's bright eyes than to conquer fifty worlds.”

“Did he say so?” cries Amelia—“I think he did say something like it; but my thoughts were so full of my husband that I took little notice. But what would you infer from what he said? I hope you don’t think he is in love with me?”

“Did he really say that?” Amelia exclaims—“I think he did say something like that; but I was so consumed with thoughts of my husband that I barely paid attention. But what do you think he meant by what he said? I hope you don’t believe he has feelings for me?”

“I hope he doth not think so himself,” answered Mrs. Atkinson; “though, when he mentioned the bright eyes of Statira, he fixed his own eyes on yours with the most languishing air I ever beheld.”

“I hope he doesn’t think that about himself,” replied Mrs. Atkinson; “but when he talked about Statira's bright eyes, he had his gaze on yours with the most dreamy look I've ever seen.”

Amelia was going to answer, when the serjeant arrived, and then she immediately fell to enquiring after her husband, and received such satisfactory answers to all her many questions concerning him, that she expressed great pleasure. These ideas so possessed her mind, that, without once casting her thoughts on any other matters, she took her leave of the serjeant and his lady, and repaired to bed to her children, in a room which Mrs. Atkinson had provided her in the same house; where we will at present wish her a good night.

Amelia was about to respond when the sergeant arrived, and then she immediately started asking about her husband. She received such satisfying answers to all her many questions about him that she felt a lot of joy. These thoughts filled her mind so completely that, without thinking about anything else, she said goodbye to the sergeant and his wife and went to bed with her children in a room that Mrs. Atkinson had set up for her in the same house. For now, we'll wish her a good night.










Chapter viii. — Consisting of grave matters.

While innocence and chearful hope, in spite of the malice of fortune, closed the eyes of the gentle Amelia on her homely bed, and she enjoyed a sweet and profound sleep, the colonel lay restless all night on his down; his mind was affected with a kind of ague fit; sometimes scorched up with flaming desires, and again chilled with the coldest despair.

While innocence and cheerful hope, despite life's challenges, kept the gentle Amelia asleep peacefully in her simple bed, the colonel tossed and turned all night on his soft mattress; his mind was like a fever, sometimes burning with intense desire and at other times freezing with deep despair.

There is a time, I think, according to one of our poets, when lust and envy sleep. This, I suppose, is when they are well gorged with the food they most delight in; but, while either of these are hungry,

There’s a time, I believe, according to one of our poets, when lust and envy sleep. This, I guess, is when they’re satisfied with the things they crave the most; but as long as either of them is hungry,

      Nor poppy, nor mandragora,
      Nor all the drousy syrups of the East,
      Will ever medicine them to slumber.
      Neither poppy, nor mandrake,
      Nor all the drowsy syrups from the East,
      Will ever help them sleep.

The colonel was at present unhappily tormented by both these fiends. His last evening’s conversation with Amelia had done his business effectually. The many kind words she had spoken to him, the many kind looks she had given him, as being, she conceived, the friend and preserver of her husband, had made an entire conquest of his heart. Thus the very love which she bore him, as the person to whom her little family were to owe their preservation and happiness, inspired him with thoughts of sinking them all in the lowest abyss of ruin and misery; and, while she smiled with all her sweetness on the supposed friend of her husband, she was converting that friend into his most bitter enemy.

The colonel was currently feeling tormented by both of these tormentors. His conversation with Amelia the previous evening had really affected him. The kind words she spoke and the warm looks she gave, seeing him as the friend and protector of her husband, had completely captured his heart. Ironically, the very love she felt for him, as the person to whom her family owed their safety and happiness, filled him with thoughts of dragging them all into the deepest pit of despair. While she smiled sweetly at the supposed friend of her husband, she was turning that friend into his greatest enemy.

      Friendship, take heed; if woman interfere,
      Be sure the hour of thy destruction’s near.
      Friendship, listen up; if a woman gets involved,  
      Know that your time of destruction is close.  

These are the lines of Vanbrugh; and the sentiment is better than the poetry. To say the truth, as a handsome wife is the cause and cement of many false friendships, she is often too liable to destroy the real ones.

These are Vanbrugh's lines; and the sentiment is stronger than the poetry. Honestly, just like a beautiful wife can create and hold together many fake friendships, she is often too likely to ruin the genuine ones.

Thus the object of the colonel’s lust very plainly appears, but the object of his envy may be more difficult to discover. Nature and Fortune had seemed to strive with a kind of rivalship which should bestow most on the colonel. The former had given him person, parts, and constitution, in all which he was superior to almost every other man. The latter had given him rank in life, and riches, both in a very eminent degree. Whom then should this happy man envy? Here, lest ambition should mislead the reader to search the palaces of the great, we will direct him at once to Gray’s-inn-lane; where, in a miserable bed, in a miserable room, he will see a miserable broken lieutenant, in a miserable condition, with several heavy debts on his back, and without a penny in his pocket. This, and no other, was the object of the colonel’s envy. And why? because this wretch was possessed of the affections of a poor little lamb, which all the vast flocks that were within the power and reach of the colonel could not prevent that glutton’s longing for. And sure this image of the lamb is not improperly adduced on this occasion; for what was the colonel’s desire but to lead this poor lamb, as it were, to the slaughter, in order to purchase a feast of a few days by her final destruction, and to tear her away from the arms of one where she was sure of being fondled and caressed all the days of her life.

Thus the object of the colonel’s desire is very clear, but the object of his envy might be harder to find. Nature and Fortune seemed to compete to give the colonel the most. Nature had given him looks, talent, and health, in which he surpassed almost every other man. Fortune had given him high rank and wealth, both in a very significant way. So, who should this fortunate man envy? Here, to prevent ambition from misleading the reader into searching the palaces of the wealthy, we will direct him straight to Gray’s Inn Lane; where, in a shabby bed, in a dreary room, he will find a broken lieutenant in poor condition, burdened by several heavy debts, and without a penny to his name. This, and no one else, was the cause of the colonel’s envy. And why? Because this unfortunate man had the affection of a poor little lamb, which all the vast flocks within the colonel’s reach could not satiate his greedy desire for. And surely this image of the lamb is fitting here; for what was the colonel's wish but to lead this poor lamb, so to speak, to her doom, in order to enjoy a fleeting feast at her expense, and to take her from the embrace of someone who would cherish and love her for the rest of her life.

While the colonel was agitated with these thoughts, his greatest comfort was, that Amelia and Booth were now separated; and his greatest terror was of their coming again together. From wishes, therefore, he began to meditate designs; and so far was he from any intention of procuring the liberty of his friend, that he began to form schemes of prolonging his confinement, till he could procure some means of sending him away far from her; in which case he doubted not but of succeeding in all he desired.

While the colonel was troubled by these thoughts, his biggest comfort was that Amelia and Booth were now apart; and his biggest fear was them getting back together. Because of this, he started to think of plans; and he was so far from wanting to help his friend gain his freedom that he began to come up with ideas to extend his confinement until he could find a way to send him far away from her. In that situation, he was confident he would achieve everything he wanted.

He was forming this plan in his mind when a servant informed him that one serjeant Atkinson desired to speak with his honour. The serjeant was immediately admitted, and acquainted the colonel that, if he pleased to go and become bail for Mr. Booth, another unexceptionable housekeeper would be there to join with him. This person the serjeant had procured that morning, and had, by leave of his wife, given him a bond of indemnification for the purpose.

He was thinking about this plan when a servant told him that Sergeant Atkinson wanted to speak with him. The sergeant was allowed in right away and informed the colonel that if he wanted to go and post bail for Mr. Booth, another reliable housekeeper would be there to partner with him. The sergeant had arranged for this person that morning and, with his wife's permission, had given him a bond of indemnification for that purpose.

The colonel did not seem so elated with this news as Atkinson expected. On the contrary, instead of making a direct answer to what Atkinson said, the colonel began thus: “I think, serjeant, Mr. Booth hath told me that you was foster-brother to his lady. She is really a charming woman, and it is a thousand pities she should ever have been placed in the dreadful situation she is now in. There is nothing so silly as for subaltern officers of the army to marry, unless where they meet with women of very great fortunes indeed. What can be the event of their marrying otherwise, but entailing misery and beggary on their wives and their posterity?”

The colonel didn’t seem as thrilled by the news as Atkinson had expected. Instead of responding directly to Atkinson, he started off: “I believe, sergeant, Mr. Booth has mentioned that you were a foster brother to his lady. She truly is a delightful woman, and it's such a shame that she ended up in the terrible situation she's in now. There's nothing more foolish than junior officers in the army getting married, unless they happen to marry women with significant fortunes. What else can result from such marriages but a legacy of misery and poverty for their wives and their descendants?”

“Ah! sir,” cries the serjeant, “it is too late to think of those matters now. To be sure, my lady might have married one of the top gentlemen in the country; for she is certainly one of the best as well as one of the handsomest women in the kingdom; and, if she had been fairly dealt by, would have had a very great fortune into the bargain. Indeed, she is worthy of the greatest prince in the world; and, if I had been the greatest prince in the world, I should have thought myself happy with such a wife; but she was pleased to like the lieutenant, and certainly there can be no happiness in marriage without liking.”

“Ah! sir,” the sergeant exclaims, “it’s too late to think about those things now. Of course, my lady could have married one of the top gentlemen in the country; she’s definitely one of the best and most beautiful women in the kingdom. If she had been treated fairly, she would have had an enormous fortune too. Really, she deserves the greatest prince in the world; and if I were the greatest prince, I would consider myself lucky to have her as a wife. But she chose to love the lieutenant, and there can’t be any happiness in marriage without love.”

“Lookee, serjeant,” said the colonel; “you know very well that I am the lieutenant’s friend. I think I have shewn myself so.”

“Hey, sergeant,” said the colonel; “you know I'm friends with the lieutenant. I think I've made that clear.”

“Indeed your honour hath,” quoth the serjeant, “more than once to my knowledge.”

“Indeed, your honor has,” said the sergeant, “more than once to my knowledge.”

“But I am angry with him for his imprudence, greatly angry with him for his imprudence; and the more so, as it affects a lady of so much worth.”

“But I’m really angry with him for his carelessness, very angry with him for his carelessness; and even more so, because it impacts a lady of such high value.”

“She is, indeed, a lady of the highest worth,” cries the serjeant. “Poor dear lady! I knew her, an ‘t please your honour, from her infancy; and the sweetest-tempered, best-natured lady she is that ever trod on English ground. I have always loved her as if she was my own sister. Nay, she hath very often called me brother; and I have taken it to be a greater honour than if I was to be called a general officer.”

“She is truly a woman of the highest value,” exclaims the sergeant. “Poor dear lady! I’ve known her, if it pleases your honor, since she was a child; and she’s the sweetest, kindest lady that’s ever walked on English soil. I’ve always loved her as if she were my own sister. In fact, she’s often called me brother, and I've considered that a greater honor than being addressed as a general officer.”

“What pity it is,” said the colonel, “that this worthy creature should be exposed to so much misery by the thoughtless behaviour of a man who, though I am his friend, I cannot help saying, hath been guilty of imprudence at least! Why could he not live upon his half-pay? What had he to do to run himself into debt in this outrageous manner?”

“What a shame it is,” said the colonel, “that this deserving person should be subjected to so much suffering because of the careless actions of a man who, although I am his friend, I must say, has been quite reckless, to say the least! Why couldn’t he just live off his half-pay? What was he thinking to get himself into debt like this?”

“I wish, indeed,” cries the serjeant, “he had been a little more considerative; but I hope this will be a warning to him.”

“I really wish,” the sergeant exclaims, “he had been a bit more thoughtful; but I hope this serves as a lesson for him.”

“How am I sure of that,” answered the colonel; “or what reason is there to expect it? extravagance is a vice of which men are not so easily cured. I have thought a great deal of this matter, Mr. serjeant; and, upon the most mature deliberation, I am of opinion that it will be better, both for him and his poor lady, that he should smart a little more.”

“How can I be sure of that?” the colonel replied. “What reason do we have to expect it? Extravagance is a vice that’s hard to overcome. I’ve thought a lot about this, Mr. Sergeant, and after careful consideration, I believe it would be better for both him and his poor wife if he suffers a bit more.”

“Your honour, sir, to be sure is in the right,” replied the serjeant; “but yet, sir, if you will pardon me for speaking, I hope you will be pleased to consider my poor lady’s case. She suffers, all this while, as much or more than the lieutenant; for I know her so well, that I am certain she will never have a moment’s ease till her husband is out of confinement.”

“Your honor, sir, you are absolutely right,” replied the sergeant. “But if you’ll allow me to speak, I hope you will consider my poor lady’s situation. She has been suffering just as much, if not more, than the lieutenant. I know her well enough to be certain that she won’t have a moment’s peace until her husband is released from confinement.”

“I know women better than you, serjeant,” cries the colonel; “they sometimes place their affections on a husband as children do on their nurse; but they are both to be weaned. I know you, serjeant, to be a fellow of sense as well as spirit, or I should not speak so freely to you; but I took a fancy to you a long time ago, and I intend to serve you; but first, I ask you this question—Is your attachment to Mr. Booth or his lady?”

“I know women better than you, sergeant,” the colonel shouts; “they sometimes attach their feelings to a husband like kids do to their nurse; but both need to be independent. I know you, sergeant, to be someone with both intelligence and drive, or I wouldn’t speak so openly to you; but I took a liking to you a while ago, and I plan to help you out; but first, I need to ask you this—Do you have feelings for Mr. Booth or his wife?”

“Certainly, sir,” said the serjeant, “I must love my lady best. Not but I have a great affection for the lieutenant too, because I know my lady hath the same; and, indeed, he hath been always very good to me as far as was in his power. A lieutenant, your honour knows, can’t do a great deal; but I have always found him my friend upon all occasions.”

“Of course, sir,” said the sergeant, “I have to love my lady the most. It’s not that I don’t have a lot of affection for the lieutenant too, since I know my lady feels the same way; and honestly, he’s always been really good to me as much as he could. A lieutenant, as you know, doesn’t have much power, but I’ve always found him to be my friend in any situation.”

“You say true,” cries the colonel; “a lieutenant can do but little; but I can do much to serve you, and will too. But let me ask you one question: Who was the lady whom I saw last night with Mrs. Booth at her lodgings?”

“You're right,” the colonel says; “a lieutenant can do very little; but I can do a lot to help you, and I will. But let me ask you one question: Who was the lady I saw last night with Mrs. Booth at her place?”

Here the serjeant blushed, and repeated, “The lady, sir?”

Here the sergeant blushed and repeated, “The lady, sir?”

“Ay, a lady, a woman,” cries the colonel, “who supped with us last night. She looked rather too much like a gentlewoman for the mistress of a lodging-house.”

“Yeah, a lady, a woman,” the colonel exclaims, “who had dinner with us last night. She seemed a bit too much like a lady for the owner of a boarding house.”

The serjeant’s cheeks glowed at this compliment to his wife; and he was just going to own her when the colonel proceeded: “I think I never saw in my life so ill-looking, sly, demure a b—-; I would give something, methinks, to know who she was.”

The sergeant's cheeks flushed with pride at this compliment to his wife; and he was just about to acknowledge her when the colonel continued, “I don’t think I've ever seen such an unattractive, sneaky, and shy b—- in my life; I’d pay to know who she is.”

“I don’t know, indeed,” cries the serjeant, in great confusion; “I know nothing about her.”

“I really don’t know,” the sergeant exclaims, clearly flustered; “I have no idea about her.”

“I wish you would enquire,” said the colonel, “and let me know her name, and likewise what she is: I have a strange curiosity to know, and let me see you again this evening exactly at seven.”

“I wish you would ask around,” said the colonel, “and let me know her name, and also what she’s like: I have an odd curiosity to find out, and make sure to see me again this evening at exactly seven.”

“And will not your honour then go to the lieutenant this morning?” said Atkinson.

“And won’t you go see the lieutenant this morning?” said Atkinson.

“It is not in my power,” answered the colonel; “I am engaged another way. Besides, there is no haste in this affair. If men will be imprudent they must suffer the consequences. Come to me at seven, and bring me all the particulars you can concerning that ill-looking jade I mentioned to you, for I am resolved to know who she is. And so good-morrow to you, serjeant; be assured I will take an opportunity to do something for you.”

“It’s not possible for me,” the colonel replied. “I have other commitments. Besides, there’s no rush on this. If people want to act foolishly, they’ll have to deal with the fallout. Come see me at seven and bring me all the details you can about that shady woman I mentioned, because I’m determined to find out who she is. So, good morning to you, sergeant; I promise I’ll find a chance to help you out.”

Though some readers may, perhaps, think the serjeant not unworthy of the freedom with which the colonel treated him; yet that haughty officer would have been very backward to have condescended to such familiarity with one of his rank had he not proposed some design from it. In truth, he began to conceive hopes of making the serjeant instrumental to his design on Amelia; in other words, to convert him into a pimp; an office in which the colonel had been served by Atkinson’s betters, and which, as he knew it was in his power very well to reward him, he had no apprehension that the serjeant would decline—an opinion which the serjeant might have pardoned, though he had never given the least grounds for it, since the colonel borrowed it from the knowledge of his own heart. This dictated to him that he, from a bad motive, was capable of desiring to debauch his friend’s wife; and the same heart inspired him to hope that another, from another bad motive, might be guilty of the same breach of friendship in assisting him. Few men, I believe, think better of others than of themselves; nor do they easily allow the existence of any virtue of which they perceive no traces in their own minds; for which reason I have observed, that it is extremely difficult to persuade a rogue that you are an honest man; nor would you ever succeed in the attempt by the strongest evidence, was it not for the comfortable conclusion which the rogue draws, that he who proves himself to be honest proves himself to be a fool at the same time.

Although some readers might think the sergeant didn't deserve the casual way the colonel treated him, that arrogant officer would have been very slow to lower himself to such familiarity with someone of his status unless he had a reason for it. In reality, he started to hope he could use the sergeant to help with his plans regarding Amelia; in other words, he wanted to turn him into a pimp. The colonel had seen others of higher status serve in that role, and since he knew he could reward the sergeant well, he had no doubt the sergeant would agree—an idea the sergeant could have forgiven, even though he hadn't given any reason for it, since the colonel's belief stemmed from his own experiences. His own motives led him to think he could want to betray his friend's wife, and that same mindset made him hope that someone else, driven by a different bad motive, could also betray a friend by helping him. I believe few men think better of others than they do of themselves; they don’t easily accept any virtue they don’t see in themselves. That’s why I’ve noticed it’s really hard to convince a dishonest person that you’re honest; you probably wouldn’t succeed even with the strongest proof unless the dishonest person comforts himself with the thought that anyone who proves to be honest is also proving to be a fool at the same time.










Chapter ix. — A curious chapter, from which a curious reader may draw sundry observations.

The serjeant retired from the colonel in a very dejected state of mind: in which, however, we must leave him awhile and return to Amelia; who, as soon as she was up, had despatched Mrs. Atkinson to pay off her former lodgings, and to bring off all cloaths and other moveables.

The sergeant walked away from the colonel feeling very down. For now, let's focus on Amelia. As soon as she got up, she sent Mrs. Atkinson to settle the bill for her old lodgings and to collect all her clothes and other belongings.

The trusty messenger returned without performing her errand, for Mrs. Ellison had locked up all her rooms, and was gone out very early that morning, and the servant knew not whither she was gone.

The reliable messenger came back without completing her task because Mrs. Ellison had locked all her rooms and left very early that morning, and the servant didn’t know where she had gone.

The two ladies now sat down to breakfast, together with Amelia’s two children; after which, Amelia declared she would take a coach and visit her husband. To this motion Mrs. Atkinson soon agreed, and offered to be her companion. To say truth, I think it was reasonable enough; and the great abhorrence which Booth had of seeing his wife in a bailiff’s house was, perhaps, rather too nice and delicate.

The two ladies sat down for breakfast, along with Amelia’s two kids. After that, Amelia said she would take a cab to visit her husband. Mrs. Atkinson quickly agreed and offered to go with her. Honestly, I think it was a reasonable decision; Booth’s strong dislike of seeing his wife in a bailiff’s house was probably a bit too sensitive and excessive.

When the ladies were both drest, and just going to send for their vehicle, a great knocking was heard at the door, and presently Mrs. James was ushered into the room.

When both ladies were dressed and about to call for their ride, a loud knocking was heard at the door, and soon Mrs. James was brought into the room.

This visit was disagreeable enough to Amelia, as it detained her from the sight of her husband, for which she so eagerly longed. However, as she had no doubt but that the visit would be reasonably short, she resolved to receive the lady with all the complaisance in her power.

This visit was quite unpleasant for Amelia, as it kept her away from seeing her husband, whom she missed dearly. However, since she was sure the visit would be fairly brief, she decided to welcome the woman with all the kindness she could muster.

Mrs. James now behaved herself so very unlike the person that she lately appeared, that it might have surprized any one who doth not know that besides that of a fine lady, which is all mere art and mummery, every such woman hath some real character at the bottom, in which, whenever nature gets the better of her, she acts. Thus the finest ladies in the world will sometimes love, and sometimes scratch, according to their different natural dispositions, with great fury and violence, though both of these are equally inconsistent with a fine lady’s artificial character.

Mrs. James now acted so differently from the person she had recently been that it might surprise anyone who doesn’t realize that, aside from the facade of being a fine lady—which is all just show and pretense—every woman has some genuine character beneath it all, which comes out whenever nature takes over. So, the most elegant ladies in the world can sometimes be loving and other times be fierce, according to their different natural tendencies, with great passion and intensity, even though both behaviors contradict the polished image of a fine lady.

Mrs. James then was at the bottom a very good-natured woman, and the moment she heard of Amelia’s misfortune was sincerely grieved at it. She had acquiesced on the very first motion with the colonel’s design of inviting her to her house; and this morning at breakfast, when he had acquainted her that Amelia made some difficulty in accepting the offer, very readily undertook to go herself and persuade her friend to accept the invitation.

Mrs. James was, at her core, a really kind woman, and as soon as she heard about Amelia’s troubles, she felt genuinely upset. She had immediately agreed to the colonel's plan to invite Amelia to their home; and that morning at breakfast, when he told her that Amelia hesitated to accept the offer, she quickly volunteered to go and encourage her friend to take the invitation.

She now pressed this matter with such earnestness, that Amelia, who was not extremely versed in the art of denying, was hardly able to refuse her importunity; nothing, indeed, but her affection to Mrs. Atkinson could have prevailed on her to refuse; that point, however, she would not give up, and Mrs. James, at last, was contented with a promise that, as soon as their affairs were settled, Amelia, with her husband and family, would make her a visit, and stay some time with her in the country, whither she was soon to retire.

She was now pushing this issue so seriously that Amelia, who wasn't very good at saying no, found it hard to resist her insistence; nothing but her love for Mrs. Atkinson could have made her refuse. However, she wouldn’t budge on that point, and eventually, Mrs. James was satisfied with a promise that once their situation was sorted out, Amelia, along with her husband and family, would visit her and spend some time with her in the countryside, where she was soon to move.

Having obtained this promise, Mrs. James, after many very friendly professions, took her leave, and, stepping into her coach, reassumed the fine lady, and drove away to join her company at an auction.

Having secured this promise, Mrs. James, after many warm expressions of friendship, took her leave, got into her carriage, put on her posh demeanor, and drove off to meet her friends at an auction.

The moment she was gone Mrs. Atkinson, who had left the room upon the approach of Mrs. James, returned into it, and was informed by Amelia of all that had past.

The moment she left, Mrs. Atkinson, who had stepped out when Mrs. James came in, came back into the room and was updated by Amelia on everything that had happened.

“Pray, madam,” said Mrs. Atkinson, “do this colonel and his lady live, as it is called, well together?”

“Please, ma'am,” said Mrs. Atkinson, “do this colonel and his wife get along well together?”

“If you mean to ask,” cries Amelia, “whether they are a very fond couple, I must answer that I believe they are not.”

“If you’re asking,” Amelia exclaims, “if they’re a really affectionate couple, I have to say that I don’t think they are.”

“I have been told,” says Mrs. Atkinson, “that there have been instances of women who have become bawds to their own husbands, and the husbands pimps for them.”

“I’ve heard,” says Mrs. Atkinson, “that there are cases of women becoming sex workers for their own husbands, and the husbands acting as their pimps.”

“Fie upon it!” cries Amelia. “I hope there are no such people. Indeed, my dear, this is being a little too censorious.”

“Ugh!” Amelia exclaims. “I really hope there aren't people like that. Honestly, my dear, this is a bit too judgmental.”

“Call it what you please,” answered Mrs. Atkinson; “it arises from my love to you and my fears for your danger. You know the proverb of a burnt child; and, if such a one hath any good-nature, it will dread the fire on the account of others as well as on its own. And, if I may speak my sentiments freely, I cannot think you will be in safety at this colonel’s house.”

“Call it what you want,” Mrs. Atkinson replied; “it comes from my love for you and my worries about your safety. You know the saying about a burned child; if someone has any empathy, they will fear the fire not just for themselves but for others too. And, to speak my mind honestly, I don’t believe you’ll be safe at this colonel’s house.”

“I cannot but believe your apprehensions to be sincere,” replied Amelia; “and I must think myself obliged to you for them; but I am convinced you are entirely in an error. I look on Colonel James as the most generous and best of men. He was a friend, and an excellent friend too, to my husband, long before I was acquainted with him, and he hath done him a thousand good offices. What do you say of his behaviour yesterday?”

“I can’t help but believe your concerns are genuine,” Amelia replied. “And I feel obligated to thank you for sharing them; however, I’m convinced you’re completely mistaken. I see Colonel James as the most generous and kindest man. He was a friend—and an excellent friend—of my husband’s long before I met him, and he has done countless good deeds for him. What do you think about how he acted yesterday?”

“I wish,” cries Mrs. Atkinson, “that this behaviour to-day had been equal. What I am now going to undertake is the most disagreeable office of friendship, but it is a necessary one. I must tell you, therefore, what past this morning between the colonel and Mr. Atkinson; for, though it will hurt you, you ought, on many accounts, to know it.” Here she related the whole, which we have recorded in the preceding chapter, and with which the serjeant had acquainted her while Mrs. James was paying her visit to Amelia. And, as the serjeant had painted the matter rather in stronger colours than the colonel, so Mrs. Atkinson again a little improved on the serjeant. Neither of these good people, perhaps, intended to aggravate any circumstance; but such is, I believe, the unavoidable consequence of all reports. Mrs. Atkinson, indeed, may be supposed not to see what related to James in the most favourable light, as the serjeant, with more honesty than prudence, had suggested to his wife that the colonel had not the kindest opinion of her, and had called her a sly and demure—-: it is true he omitted ill-looking b—-; two words which are, perhaps, superior to the patience of any Job in petticoats that ever lived. He made amends, however, by substituting some other phrases in their stead, not extremely agreeable to a female ear.

“I wish,” Mrs. Atkinson exclaimed, “that the way people behaved today had been better. What I have to do now is the most uncomfortable part of friendship, but it’s necessary. I need to tell you what happened this morning between the colonel and Mr. Atkinson; even though it will hurt you, you should know for several reasons.” She then recounted everything we've already mentioned in the previous chapter, which the sergeant had told her while Mrs. James was visiting Amelia. The sergeant had described the situation in a more dramatic way than the colonel did, and Mrs. Atkinson slightly exaggerated it further. Neither of these good people likely meant to make things sound worse, but that seems to be an unavoidable result of all reports. Mrs. Atkinson might not have viewed James in the best light, as the sergeant had honestly but foolishly suggested to his wife that the colonel didn’t think highly of her and had referred to her as sly and demure—though he did leave out a nasty term, which could test the patience of any woman. He did try to make up for it by using other phrases that weren’t exactly pleasing to a woman's ear.

It appeared to Amelia, from Mrs. Atkinson’s relation, that the colonel had grossly abused Booth to the serjeant, and had absolutely refused to become his bail. Poor Amelia became a pale and motionless statue at this account. At length she cried, “If this be true, I and mine are all, indeed, undone. We have no comfort, no hope, no friend left. I cannot disbelieve you. I know you would not deceive me. Why should you, indeed, deceive me? But what can have caused this alteration since last night? Did I say or do anything to offend him?”

It seemed to Amelia, from what Mrs. Atkinson said, that the colonel had really mistreated Booth in front of the sergeant and had completely refused to bail him out. Poor Amelia turned pale and became motionless at this news. Finally, she exclaimed, “If this is true, then we are all truly ruined. We have no comfort, no hope, no friends left. I can’t doubt you. I know you wouldn't lie to me. Why would you deceive me? But what could have caused this change since last night? Did I say or do something to upset him?”

“You said and did rather, I believe, a great deal too much to please him,” answered Mrs. Atkinson. “Besides, he is not in the least offended with you. On the contrary, he said many kind things.”

“You said and did, I think, way too much to impress him,” replied Mrs. Atkinson. “Plus, he’s not upset with you at all. In fact, he said a lot of nice things.”

“What can my poor love have done?” said Amelia. “He hath not seen the colonel since last night. Some villain hath set him against my husband; he was once before suspicious of such a person. Some cruel monster hath belied his innocence!”

“What could my poor love have done?” said Amelia. “He hasn’t seen the colonel since last night. Some villain has turned him against my husband; he was suspicious of such a person before. Some cruel monster has lied about his innocence!”

“Pardon me, dear madam,” said Mrs. Atkinson; “I believe the person who hath injured the captain with this friend of his is one of the worthiest and best of creatures—nay, do not be surprized; the person I mean is even your fair self: sure you would not be so dull in any other case; but in this, gratitude, humility, modesty, every virtue, shuts your eyes.

“Excuse me, dear madam,” said Mrs. Atkinson; “I believe the person who has wronged the captain with his friend is one of the worthiest and kindest individuals—no need to be surprised; the person I’m talking about is actually you: surely you wouldn’t be so oblivious in any other situation; but in this case, gratitude, humility, modesty, every virtue, blinds you.

    Mortales hebetant visus,
Mortals dull the senses,

as Virgil says. What in the world can be more consistent than his desire to have you at his own house and to keep your husband confined in another? All that he said and all that he did yesterday, and, what is more convincing to me than both, all that he looked last night, are very consistent with both these designs.”

as Virgil says. What could be more consistent than his wish to have you at his place and to keep your husband locked up somewhere else? Everything he said and did yesterday, and, what proves more convincing to me than both, everything he expressed with his looks last night, aligns perfectly with these two plans.

“O Heavens!” cries Amelia, “you chill my blood with horror! the idea freezes me to death; I cannot, must not, will not think it. Nothing but conviction! Heaven forbid I should ever have more conviction! And did he abuse my husband? what? did he abuse a poor, unhappy, distrest creature, opprest, ruined, torn from his children, torn away from his wretched wife; the honestest, worthiest, noblest, tenderest, fondest, best—” Here she burst into an agony of grief, which exceeds the power of description.

“O my God!” Amelia cries, “you chill me to the bone with horror! The thought freezes me to death; I can’t, mustn’t, won’t think about it. Nothing but certainty! Heaven forbid I ever have more certainty! And did he mistreat my husband? What? Did he mistreat a poor, unhappy, distressed person, oppressed, ruined, torn from his children, ripped away from his miserable wife; the most honest, worthy, noble, tender, loving, best—” Here she breaks down into a grief that goes beyond words.

In this situation Mrs. Atkinson was doing her utmost to support her when a most violent knocking was heard at the door, and immediately the serjeant ran hastily into the room, bringing with him a cordial which presently relieved Amelia. What this cordial was, we shall inform the reader in due time. In the mean while he must suspend his curiosity; and the gentlemen at White’s may lay wagers whether it was Ward’s pill or Dr James’s powder.

In this situation, Mrs. Atkinson was doing everything she could to support her when there was a loud banging on the door, and immediately the sergeant rushed into the room, carrying a tonic that quickly helped Amelia. We will reveal what this tonic was in due time. For now, you’ll have to hold off on your curiosity; and the guys at White's can bet on whether it was Ward's pill or Dr. James's powder.

But before we close this chapter, and return back to the bailiff’s house, we must do our best to rescue the character of our heroine from the dulness of apprehension, which several of our quick-sighted readers may lay more heavily to her charge than was done by her friend Mrs. Atkinson.

But before we wrap up this chapter and go back to the bailiff’s house, we need to do our best to save our heroine from the dullness of worry, which some of our perceptive readers might blame her for even more than her friend Mrs. Atkinson did.

I must inform, therefore, all such readers, that it is not because innocence is more blind than guilt that the former often overlooks and tumbles into the pit which the latter foresees and avoids. The truth is, that it is almost impossible guilt should miss the discovering of all the snares in its way, as it is constantly prying closely into every corner in order to lay snares for others. Whereas innocence, having no such purpose, walks fearlessly and carelessly through life, and is consequently liable to tread on the gins which cunning hath laid to entrap it. To speak plainly and without allegory or figure, it is not want of sense, but want of suspicion, by which innocence is often betrayed. Again, we often admire at the folly of the dupe, when we should transfer our whole surprize to the astonishing guilt of the betrayer. In a word, many an innocent person hath owed his ruin to this circumstance alone, that the degree of villany was such as must have exceeded the faith of every man who was not himself a villain.

I need to tell all readers that it's not because innocence is more naive than guilt that the former often misses and falls into traps that the latter sees and avoids. The truth is, guilt almost never misses spotting the traps in its path, as it constantly searches every corner to set traps for others. In contrast, innocence, having no such intentions, moves through life fearlessly and carelessly, making it vulnerable to stepping into the snares that deceit has set. To put it simply, it's not a lack of intelligence, but a lack of suspicion that often leads to innocence being betrayed. We often marvel at the foolishness of the victim when we should really be shocked by the astonishing wickedness of the betrayer. In short, many innocent people have met their downfall simply because the level of deceit was so great that it would have been beyond the belief of anyone who wasn’t also a deceiver.










Chapter x. — In which are many profound secrets of philosophy.

Booth, having had enough of the author’s company the preceding day, chose now another companion. Indeed the author was not very solicitous of a second interview; for, as he could have no hope from Booth’s pocket, so he was not likely to receive much increase to his vanity from Booth’s conversation; for, low as this wretch was in virtue, sense, learning, birth, and fortune, he was by no means low in his vanity. This passion, indeed, was so high in him, and at the same time so blinded him to his own demerits, that he hated every man who did not either flatter him or give him money. In short, he claimed a strange kind of right, either to cheat all his acquaintance of their praise or to pick their pockets of their pence, in which latter case he himself repaid very liberally with panegyric.

Booth, having had his fill of the author’s company the day before, decided to choose a different companion now. In fact, the author wasn’t too eager for a second meeting; since he had no expectation of financial gain from Booth, there was little chance he would get a boost to his ego from Booth’s conversation either. Despite being lacking in virtue, intelligence, education, lineage, and wealth, Booth’s vanity was anything but low. This obsession with himself was so intense that it blinded him to his own faults, leading him to despise anyone who didn’t flatter him or give him money. In short, he felt entitled to either swindle his acquaintances out of their compliments or pick their pockets, while he generously returned favors with praise.

A very little specimen of such a fellow must have satisfied a man of Mr. Booth’s temper. He chose, therefore, now to associate himself with that gentleman of whom Bondum had given so shabby a character. In short, Mr. Booth’s opinion of the bailiff was such, that he recommended a man most where he least intended it. Nay, the bailiff in the present instance, though he had drawn a malicious conclusion, honestly avowed that this was drawn only from the poverty of the person, which is never, I believe, any forcible disrecommendation to a good mind: but he must have had a very bad mind indeed, who, in Mr. Booth’s circumstances, could have disliked or despised another man because that other man was poor.

A very small example of someone like that would have been enough to please a man like Mr. Booth. So, he decided to associate himself with the gentleman whom Bondum had described so poorly. In short, Mr. Booth thought so little of the bailiff that he ended up recommending him in places where he least intended to. In fact, the bailiff, although he had come to a spiteful conclusion, honestly admitted that it was based solely on the person's poverty, which I believe is never a strong reason to look down on someone for a good person. But you must have a really bad character if, in Mr. Booth's situation, you could dislike or look down on another man just because he was poor.

Some previous conversation having past between this gentleman and Booth, in which they had both opened their several situations to each other, the former, casting an affectionate look on the latter, exprest great compassion for his circumstances, for which Booth, thanking him, said, “You must have a great deal of compassion, and be a very good man, in such a terrible situation as you describe yourself, to have any pity to spare for other people.”

Some earlier conversation took place between this gentleman and Booth, where they both shared their situations with each other. The gentleman, looking at Booth with affection, expressed deep sympathy for his circumstances. Booth, grateful for this, replied, “You must have a lot of compassion and be a very good person, considering the terrible situation you describe for yourself, to have any pity left for others.”

“My affairs, sir,” answered the gentleman, “are very bad, it is true, and yet there is one circumstance which makes you appear to me more the object of pity than I am to myself; and it is this—that you must from your years be a novice in affliction, whereas I have served a long apprenticeship to misery, and ought, by this time, to be a pretty good master of my trade. To say the truth, I believe habit teaches men to bear the burthens of the mind, as it inures them to bear heavy burthens on their shoulders. Without use and experience, the strongest minds and bodies both will stagger under a weight which habit might render easy and even contemptible.”

“My situation, sir,” replied the gentleman, “is indeed very bad, but there’s one thing that makes me see you as more deserving of pity than I feel for myself: you must, given your age, be a beginner in suffering, while I’ve had a long experience with misery and should, by now, be quite skilled at handling it. Honestly, I believe that practice teaches people to manage the burdens of the mind, just as it prepares them to carry heavy loads on their shoulders. Without experience, even the strongest minds and bodies can struggle under a weight that habit could make feel light and even insignificant.”

“There is great justice,” cries Booth, “in the comparison; and I think I have myself experienced the truth of it; for I am not that tyro in affliction which you seem to apprehend me. And perhaps it is from the very habit you mention that I am able to support my present misfortunes a little like a man.”

“There is a lot of justice,” Booth exclaims, “in that comparison; and I believe I have experienced its truth myself; for I am not as inexperienced in hardship as you seem to think. And maybe it's precisely because of the habit you mentioned that I can handle my current misfortunes a bit like a man.”

The gentleman smiled at this, and cried, “Indeed, captain, you are a young philosopher.”

The man smiled at this and said, “Absolutely, captain, you’re a young philosopher.”

“I think,” cries Booth, “I have some pretensions to that philosophy which is taught by misfortunes, and you seem to be of opinion, sir, that is one of the best schools of philosophy.”

“I think,” Booth exclaims, “I have some insight into that philosophy that comes from experiencing misfortunes, and you seem to believe, sir, that it’s one of the best schools of philosophy.”

“I mean no more, sir,” said the gentleman, “than that in the days of our affliction we are inclined to think more seriously than in those seasons of life when we are engaged in the hurrying pursuits of business or pleasure, when we have neither leisure nor inclination to sift and examine things to the bottom. Now there are two considerations which, from my having long fixed my thoughts upon them, have greatly supported me under all my afflictions. The one is the brevity of life even at its longest duration, which the wisest of men hath compared to the short dimension of a span. One of the Roman poets compares it to the duration of a race; and another, to the much shorter transition of a wave.

“I mean no more, sir,” said the gentleman, “than that during our tough times, we tend to reflect more deeply than in those moments when we're caught up in the fast pace of work or fun, when we have neither the time nor desire to truly dig into things. Now, there are two thoughts that have really helped me cope with all my struggles, and I've focused on them for a long time. The first is the shortness of life, even at its longest, which the wisest of men has likened to the brief span of a hand. One Roman poet compares it to the length of a race; another compares it to the even shorter duration of a wave.”

“The second consideration is the uncertainty of it. Short as its utmost limits are, it is far from being assured of reaching those limits. The next day, the next hour, the next moment, may be the end of our course. Now of what value is so uncertain, so precarious a station? This consideration, indeed, however lightly it is passed over in our conception, doth, in a great measure, level all fortunes and conditions, and gives no man a right to triumph in the happiest state, or any reason to repine in the most miserable. Would the most worldly men see this in the light in which they examine all other matters, they would soon feel and acknowledge the force of this way of reasoning; for which of them would give any price for an estate from which they were liable to be immediately ejected? or, would they not laugh at him as a madman who accounted himself rich from such an uncertain possession? This is the fountain, sir, from which I have drawn my philosophy. Hence it is that I have learnt to look on all those things which are esteemed the blessings of life, and those which are dreaded as its evils, with such a degree of indifference that, as I should not be elated with possessing the former, so neither am I greatly dejected and depressed by suffering the latter. Is the actor esteemed happier to whose lot it falls to play the principal part than he who plays the lowest? and yet the drama may run twenty nights together, and by consequence may outlast our lives; but, at the best, life is only a little longer drama, and the business of the great stage is consequently a little more serious than that which is performed at the Theatre-royal. But even here, the catastrophes and calamities which are represented are capable of affecting us. The wisest men can deceive themselves into feeling the distresses of a tragedy, though they know them to be merely imaginary; and the children will often lament them as realities: what wonder then, if these tragical scenes which I allow to be a little more serious, should a little more affect us? where then is the remedy but in the philosophy I have mentioned, which, when once by a long course of meditation it is reduced to a habit, teaches us to set a just value on everything, and cures at once all eager wishes and abject fears, all violent joy and grief concerning objects which cannot endure long, and may not exist a moment.”

“The second consideration is the uncertainty of it. No matter how short its limits are, there's no guarantee we'll reach them. The next day, hour, or even moment could be the end of our journey. What value does such an uncertain, precarious position hold? This thought, even if we brush it aside in our minds, levels all fortunes and conditions, giving no one a right to brag about being in a happy situation or any reason to complain about being in a miserable one. If the most materialistic people understood this in the same way they look at everything else, they'd quickly see the power of this reasoning. Which of them would pay for a property from which they could be kicked out at any moment? Or wouldn’t they laugh at someone who thought they were wealthy because of such an uncertain possession? This is the source, my friend, from which I've derived my philosophy. That's why I've learned to view all those things regarded as blessings of life, and those feared as misfortunes, with such indifference that I’m not overly excited about having the former, nor am I deeply upset by experiencing the latter. Is the actor who gets the lead role considered happier than the one in a minor part? The show might run for twenty nights and may even outlive us, but at best, life is just a longer performance, and the events on this grand stage are a little more serious than those at the Royal Theatre. Yet here, the disasters and tragedies depicted can still affect us. The wisest men can trick themselves into feeling the sorrow of a tragic play, even while knowing it’s just fiction; children often mourn them as if they were real. So, it’s no wonder that these more serious tragic scenes impact us even more. Where then is the remedy but in the philosophy I’ve mentioned? Once developed into a habit through long reflection, it teaches us to assign a proper value to everything, curing our intense desires and fears, and our extreme joy and sadness regarding things that won’t last long and might not exist for even a moment.”

“You have exprest yourself extremely well,” cries Booth; “and I entirely agree with the justice of your sentiments; but, however true all this may be in theory, I still doubt its efficacy in practice. And the cause of the difference between these two is this; that we reason from our heads, but act from our hearts:

“You’ve expressed yourself very well,” Booth exclaims; “and I completely agree with your points; however true all this may be in theory, I still doubt its effectiveness in practice. The reason for the difference between the two is this: we think with our heads, but we act from our hearts:

      —-Video meliora, proboque;
         Deteriora sequor.
"I see better things, approve them; I follow worse."

Nothing can differ more widely than wise men and fools in their estimation of things; but, as both act from their uppermost passion, they both often act like. What comfort then can your philosophy give to an avaricious man who is deprived of his riches or to an ambitious man who is stript of his power? to the fond lover who is torn from his mistress or to the tender husband who is dragged from his wife? Do you really think that any meditations on the shortness of life will soothe them in their afflictions? Is not this very shortness itself one of their afflictions? and if the evil they suffer be a temporary deprivation of what they love, will they not think their fate the harder, and lament the more, that they are to lose any part of an enjoyment to which there is so short and so uncertain a period?”

Nothing differs more greatly than how wise people and fools perceive things; however, since both are driven by their deepest passions, they often act similarly. What comfort can your philosophy offer to a greedy person who has lost their wealth or to an ambitious person stripped of their power? What about the lovesick individual torn from their partner or the caring husband separated from his wife? Do you really believe that reflecting on the brevity of life will ease their suffering? Isn’t that very brevity one of their hardships? And if the pain they experience is simply a temporary loss of what they cherish, won’t they find their fate even more daunting and mourn even more, knowing they are losing part of a joy that has such a short and uncertain duration?

“I beg leave, sir,” said the gentleman, “to distinguish here. By philosophy, I do not mean the bare knowledge of right and wrong, but an energy, a habit, as Aristotle calls it; and this I do firmly believe, with him and with the Stoics, is superior to all the attacks of fortune.”

“I respectfully ask, sir,” said the gentleman, “to clarify my point. By philosophy, I don’t just mean the basic understanding of right and wrong, but rather a mindset, a practice, as Aristotle calls it; and I truly believe, along with him and the Stoics, that this is stronger than any challenges that life throws our way.”

He was proceeding when the bailiff came in, and in a surly tone bad them both good-morrow; after which he asked the philosopher if he was prepared to go to Newgate; for that he must carry him thither that afternoon.

He was on his way when the bailiff walked in and, in a grumpy tone, wished them both good morning; after which he asked the philosopher if he was ready to go to Newgate because he had to take him there that afternoon.

The poor man seemed very much shocked with this news. “I hope,” cries he, “you will give a little longer time, if not till the return of the writ. But I beg you particularly not to carry me thither to-day, for I expect my wife and children here in the evening.”

The poor man looked really shocked by the news. “I hope,” he exclaimed, “you can give me a little more time, if not until the writ comes back. But please, I’m asking you not to take me there today, because I’m expecting my wife and kids to come here in the evening.”

“I have nothing to do with wives and children,” cried the bailiff; “I never desire to see any wives and children here. I like no such company.”

“I have nothing to do with wives and kids,” shouted the bailiff; “I never want to see any wives and kids here. I don’t like that kind of company.”

“I intreat you,” said the prisoner, “give me another day. I shall take it as a great obligation; and you will disappoint me in the cruellest manner in the world if you refuse me.”

“I beg you,” said the prisoner, “give me one more day. I will consider it a huge favor; and it would be the greatest disappointment in the world if you deny me.”

“I can’t help people’s disappointments,” cries the bailiff; “I must consider myself and my own family. I know not where I shall be paid the money that’s due already. I can’t afford to keep prisoners at my own expense.”

“I can’t help other people’s disappointments,” the bailiff shouts; “I have to think about myself and my own family. I have no idea where I’m going to get the money that’s already owed to me. I can’t afford to support prisoners on my own dime.”

“I don’t intend it shall be at your expense” cries the philosopher; “my wife is gone to raise money this morning; and I hope to pay you all I owe you at her arrival. But we intend to sup together to-night at your house; and, if you should remove me now, it would be the most barbarous disappointment to us both, and will make me the most miserable man alive.”

“I don’t want it to cost you anything,” the philosopher cries. “My wife went out this morning to raise some money, and I hope to pay you back everything I owe as soon as she gets back. But we plan to have dinner together at your house tonight; if you kick me out now, it would be the worst disappointment for both of us and would make me the most miserable man alive.”

“Nay, for my part,” said the bailiff, “I don’t desire to do anything barbarous. I know how to treat gentlemen with civility as well as another. And when people pay as they go, and spend their money like gentlemen, I am sure nobody can accuse me of any incivility since I have been in the office. And if you intend to be merry to-night I am not the man that will prevent it. Though I say it, you may have as good a supper drest here as at any tavern in town.”

“Nah, for my part,” said the bailiff, “I don’t want to do anything harsh. I know how to treat gentlemen politely just like anyone else. And when people pay their way and spend their money like gentlemen, I’m sure no one can accuse me of being uncivil since I took this job. And if you plan to have a good time tonight, I’m not the one who will stop you. Honestly, you can have as good a dinner here as at any tavern in town.”

“Since Mr. Bondum is so kind, captain,” said the philosopher, “I hope for the favour of your company. I assure you, if it ever be my fortune to go abroad into the world, I shall be proud of the honour of your acquaintance.”

“Since Mr. Bondum is so kind, captain,” said the philosopher, “I hope for the pleasure of your company. I promise you, if I ever have the chance to travel out into the world, I will be proud to call you a friend.”

“Indeed, sir,” cries Booth, “it is an honour I shall be very ready to accept; but as for this evening, I cannot help saying I hope to be engaged in another place.”

“Absolutely, sir,” Booth exclaims, “it’s an honor I will gladly accept; however, I must admit that I hope to be occupied elsewhere this evening.”

“I promise you, sir,” answered the other, “I shall rejoice at your liberty, though I am a loser by it.”

“I promise you, sir,” replied the other, “I will be happy for your freedom, even though it means I will lose something.”

“Why, as to that matter,” cries Bondum with a sneer, “I fancy, captain, you may engage yourself to the gentleman without any fear of breaking your word; for I am very much mistaken if we part to-day.”

“Why, about that,” Bondum scoffs with a smirk, “I think, captain, you can commit to the gentleman without worrying about breaking your promise; because I would be very surprised if we separate today.”

“Pardon me, my good friend,” said Booth, “but I expect my bail every minute.”

“Excuse me, my friend,” Booth said, “but I expect my bail any minute now.”

“Lookee, sir,” cries Bondum, “I don’t love to see gentlemen in an error. I shall not take the serjeant’s bail; and as for the colonel, I have been with him myself this morning (for to be sure I love to do all I can for gentlemen), and he told me he could not possibly be here to-day; besides, why should I mince the matter? there is more stuff in the office.”

“Look, sir,” Bondum shouts, “I don’t like to see gentlemen making mistakes. I won’t take the sergeant’s bail; and as for the colonel, I was with him myself this morning (because I really like to do what I can for gentlemen), and he told me he couldn’t possibly be here today; besides, why should I sugarcoat it? There’s more going on at the office.”

“What do you mean by stuff?” cries Booth.

“What do you mean by stuff?” yells Booth.

“I mean that there is another writ,” answered the bailiff, “at the suit of Mrs. Ellison, the gentlewoman that was here yesterday; and the attorney that was with her is concerned against you. Some officers would not tell you all this; but I loves to shew civility to gentlemen while they behave themselves as such. And I loves the gentlemen of the army in particular. I had like to have been in the army myself once; but I liked the commission I have better. Come, captain, let not your noble courage be cast down; what say you to a glass of white wine, or a tiff of punch, by way of whet?”

“I mean that there’s another order,” the bailiff replied, “from Mrs. Ellison, the lady who was here yesterday; and the lawyer who was with her is going after you. Some officers wouldn’t tell you all this, but I like to show respect to gentlemen as long as they act like one. And I particularly admire the gentlemen in the military. I almost joined the army myself once; but I prefer the position I have now. Come on, captain, don’t let your brave spirit be discouraged; how about a glass of white wine or a little punch to lift your spirits?”

“I have told you, sir, I never drink in the morning,” cries Booth a little peevishly.

“I've told you, sir, I never drink in the morning,” Booth exclaims a bit irritably.

“No offence I hope, sir,” said the bailiff; “I hope I have not treated you with any incivility. I don’t ask any gentleman to call for liquor in my house if he doth not chuse it; nor I don’t desire anybody to stay here longer than they have a mind to. Newgate, to be sure, is the place for all debtors that can’t find bail. I knows what civility is, and I scorn to behave myself unbecoming a gentleman: but I’d have you consider that the twenty-four hours appointed by act of parliament are almost out; and so it is time to think of removing. As to bail, I would not have you flatter yourself; for I knows very well there are other things coming against you. Besides, the sum you are already charged with is very large, and I must see you in a place of safety. My house is no prison, though I lock up for a little time in it. Indeed, when gentlemen are gentlemen, and likely to find bail, I don’t stand for a day or two; but I have a good nose at a bit of carrion, captain; I have not carried so much carrion to Newgate, without knowing the smell of it.”

“No offense intended, sir,” said the bailiff. “I hope I haven’t been rude to you. I never ask anyone to order drinks in my place if they don’t want to; and I don’t want anyone to stay longer than they wish to. Newgate, of course, is where all debtors go when they can’t find bail. I know what being polite means, and I refuse to act inappropriately for a gentleman. But I’d like you to keep in mind that the twenty-four hours set by law are almost up, so it’s time to think about leaving. As for bail, don’t kid yourself; I know very well there are other things coming your way. Plus, the amount you’re already charged with is quite large, and I need to make sure you’re safe. My place isn’t a prison, although I do lock it up for a little while. In fact, when gentlemen are proper and likely to secure bail, I don’t hold them for a day or two; but I have a good sense for trouble, captain; I haven’t brought so many troublemakers to Newgate without learning to recognize the signs.”

“I understand not your cant,” cries Booth; “but I did not think to have offended you so much by refusing to drink in a morning.”

“I don't get your slang,” Booth exclaims; “but I didn’t think refusing to drink in the morning would upset you this much.”

“Offended me, sir!” cries the bailiff. “Who told you so? Do you think, sir, if I want a glass of wine I am under any necessity of asking my prisoners for it? Damn it, sir, I’ll shew you I scorn your words. I can afford to treat you with a glass of the best wine in England, if you comes to that.” He then pulled out a handful of guineas, saying, “There, sir, they are all my own; I owe nobody a shilling. I am no beggar, nor no debtor. I am the king’s officer as well as you, and I will spend guinea for guinea as long as you please.”

“Offended me, sir!” shouts the bailiff. “Who told you that? Do you really think that if I want a glass of wine, I need to ask my prisoners for it? Damn it, sir, I’ll show you I don’t care about your words. I can easily treat you to a glass of the finest wine in England, if it comes to that.” He then pulled out a handful of guineas and said, “There, sir, they’re all mine; I don’t owe anyone a penny. I’m not a beggar or a debtor. I’m the king’s officer just like you, and I’ll spend guinea for guinea as long as you want.”

“Harkee, rascal,” cries Booth, laying hold of the bailiff’s collar. “How dare you treat me with this insolence? doth the law give you any authority to insult me in my misfortunes?” At which words he gave the bailiff a good shove, and threw him from him.

“Hey, you brat,” Booth shouts, grabbing the bailiff's collar. “How dare you treat me with this disrespect? Does the law give you the right to insult me while I'm down?” With that, he pushed the bailiff hard and tossed him away.

“Very well, sir,” cries the bailiff; “I will swear both an assault and an attempt to a rescue. If officers are to be used in this manner, there is an end of all law and justice. But, though I am not a match for you myself, I have those below that are.” He then ran to the door and called up two ill-looking fellows, his followers, whom, as soon as they entered the room, he ordered to seize on Booth, declaring he would immediately carry him to Newgate; at the same time pouring out a vast quantity of abuse, below the dignity of history to record.

“Alright, sir,” shouts the bailiff; “I’ll swear you’ve committed both an assault and an attempted rescue. If officers are going to act like this, then there’s no law or justice left. But, even though I can’t handle you myself, I’ve got some guys below who can.” He then rushed to the door and called in two shady-looking characters, his followers, whom he immediately ordered to grab Booth, claiming he would take him to Newgate right away, all while unleashing a stream of insults unfit to be recorded in history.

Booth desired the two dirty fellows to stand off, and declared he would make no resistance; at the same time bidding the bailiff carry him wherever he durst.

Booth wanted the two shady guys to back off and said he wouldn't put up a fight; at the same time, he told the bailiff to take him wherever he dared.

“I’ll shew you what I dare,” cries the bailiff; and again ordered the followers to lay hold of their prisoner, saying, “He has assaulted me already, and endeavoured a rescue. I shan’t trust such a fellow to walk at liberty. A gentleman, indeed! ay, ay, Newgate is the properest place for such gentry; as arrant carrion as ever was carried thither.”

“I’ll show you what I can do,” shouts the bailiff; and he once more commanded his followers to grab their prisoner, saying, “He’s already attacked me and tried to escape. I won’t trust a guy like that to walk free. A gentleman, really? Yeah, right, Newgate is the best place for guys like him; the most worthless trash that ever ended up there.”

The fellows then both laid violent hands on Booth, and the bailiff stept to the door to order a coach; when, on a sudden, the whole scene was changed in an instant; for now the serjeant came running out of breath into the room; and, seeing his friend the captain roughly handled by two ill-looking fellows, without asking any questions stept briskly up to his assistance, and instantly gave one of the assailants so violent a salute with his fist, that he directly measured his length on the floor.

The two guys then grabbed Booth roughly, and the bailiff moved to the door to call a cab. Suddenly, everything changed in an instant; the sergeant burst into the room, out of breath. Seeing his friend the captain being manhandled by two shady characters, he jumped in to help without wasting time and immediately hit one of the attackers with such force that he went straight down onto the floor.

Booth, having by this means his right arm at liberty, was unwilling to be idle, or entirely to owe his rescue from both the ruffians to the serjeant; he therefore imitated the example which his friend had set him, and with a lusty blow levelled the other follower with his companion on the ground.

Booth, now that his right arm was free, didn’t want to just sit around or completely rely on the sergeant for his escape from the thugs; so, he followed his friend’s example and delivered a powerful blow, knocking the other thug down alongside his partner on the ground.

The bailiff roared out, “A rescue, a rescue!” to which the serjeant answered there was no rescue intended. “The captain,” said he, “wants no rescue. Here are some friends coming who will deliver him in a better manner.”

The bailiff shouted, “A rescue, a rescue!” to which the sergeant responded that there was no rescue planned. “The captain,” he said, “doesn’t want a rescue. Here come some friends who will help him out in a better way.”

The bailiff swore heartily he would carry him to Newgate in spite of all the friends in the world.

The bailiff swore strongly that he would take him to Newgate, no matter how many friends he had.

“You carry him to Newgate!” cried the serjeant, with the highest indignation. “Offer but to lay your hands on him, and I will knock your teeth down your ugly jaws.” Then, turning to Booth, he cried, “They will be all here within a minute, sir; we had much ado to keep my lady from coming herself; but she is at home in good health, longing to see your honour; and I hope you will be with her within this half-hour.”

“You're taking him to Newgate!” shouted the sergeant, clearly furious. “If you even think about touching him, I’ll knock your teeth out.” Then, looking at Booth, he said, “They'll be here in a minute, sir; we had a hard time keeping my lady from coming herself; but she's at home, healthy, and eager to see you; I hope you'll be with her in the next half hour.”

And now three gentlemen entered the room; these were an attorney, the person whom the serjeant had procured in the morning to be his bail with Colonel James, and lastly Doctor Harrison himself.

And now three men walked into the room; they were a lawyer, the person the sergeant had arranged in the morning to be his bail with Colonel James, and finally, Doctor Harrison himself.

The bailiff no sooner saw the attorney, with whom he was well acquainted (for the others he knew not), than he began, as the phrase is, to pull in his horns, and ordered the two followers, who were now got again on their legs, to walk down-stairs.

The bailiff barely saw the attorney, whom he knew well (he didn't know the others), when he started, as the saying goes, to back off and told the two followers, who were now back on their feet, to head downstairs.

“So, captain,” says the doctor, “when last we parted, I believe we neither of us expected to meet in such a place as this.”

“So, captain,” the doctor says, “the last time we parted, I don’t think either of us expected to run into each other in a place like this.”

“Indeed, doctor,” cries Booth, “I did not expect to have been sent hither by the gentleman who did me that favour.”

“Yeah, doctor,” Booth exclaims, “I didn't expect to be sent here by the guy who did me that favor.”

“How so, sir?” said the doctor; “you was sent hither by some person, I suppose, to whom you was indebted. This is the usual place, I apprehend, for creditors to send their debtors to. But you ought to be more surprized that the gentleman who sent you hither is come to release you. Mr. Murphy, you will perform all the necessary ceremonials.”

“Why is that, sir?” said the doctor. “You were sent here by someone, I assume, to whom you owe money. I take it this is the usual place for creditors to send their debtors. But you should be more surprised that the gentleman who sent you here has come to set you free. Mr. Murphy, you will carry out all the necessary formalities.”

The attorney then asked the bailiff with how many actions Booth was charged, and was informed there were five besides the doctor’s, which was much the heaviest of all. Proper bonds were presently provided, and the doctor and the serjeant’s friend signed them; the bailiff, at the instance of the attorney, making no objection to the bail.

The lawyer then asked the bailiff how many charges Booth was facing and learned that there were five, in addition to the doctor’s, which was the most serious of all. The proper bonds were provided right away, and the doctor and the sergeant’s friend signed them; the bailiff, at the lawyer's request, didn’t raise any objections to the bail.

{Illustration: Lawyer Murphy}

{Illustration: Lawyer Murphy}

Booth, we may be assured, made a handsome speech to the doctor for such extraordinary friendship, with which, however, we do not think proper to trouble the reader; and now everything being ended, and the company ready to depart, the bailiff stepped up to Booth, and told him he hoped he would remember civility-money.

Booth, we can be sure, gave a nice speech to the doctor for such exceptional friendship, which we don’t think is necessary to share with the reader; and now that everything was wrapped up and the guests were about to leave, the bailiff approached Booth and told him he hoped he would remember to give a tip.

“I believe” cries Booth, “you mean incivility-money; if there are any fees due for rudeness, I must own you have a very just claim.”

“I believe,” Booth exclaims, “you’re talking about incivility money; if there are any fees owed for rudeness, I must admit you have a quite valid claim.”

“I am sure, sir,” cries the bailiff, “I have treated your honour with all the respect in the world; no man, I am sure, can charge me with using a gentleman rudely. I knows what belongs to a gentleman better; but you can’t deny that two of my men have been knocked down; and I doubt not but, as you are a gentleman, you will give them something to drink.”

“I’m sure, sir,” the bailiff exclaims, “I’ve treated you with all the respect in the world; no one can say I’ve been rude to a gentleman. I know how to treat a gentleman better, but you can’t deny that two of my men have been knocked down; and I have no doubt that, as a gentleman, you’ll give them something to drink.”

Booth was about to answer with some passion, when the attorney interfered, and whispered in his ear that it was usual to make a compliment to the officer, and that he had better comply with the custom.

Booth was ready to respond with some enthusiasm when the attorney cut in and whispered in his ear that it was customary to compliment the officer, and that he should go along with the tradition.

“If the fellow had treated me civilly,” answered Booth, “I should have had no objection to comply with a bad custom in his favour; but I am resolved I will never reward a man for using me ill; and I will not agree to give him a single farthing.”

“If the guy had treated me nicely,” Booth replied, “I wouldn’t have minded going along with a bad habit for his sake; but I’m determined that I will never reward someone for treating me poorly; and I won’t agree to give him a single penny.”

“‘Tis very well, sir,” said the bailiff; “I am rightly served for my good-nature; but, if it had been to do again, I would have taken care you should not have been bailed this day.”

“It's all good, sir,” said the bailiff; “I deserve this for being so accommodating; but if I had the chance to do it again, I would make sure you weren't released on bail today.”

Doctor Harrison, to whom Booth referred the cause, after giving him a succinct account of what had passed, declared the captain to be in the right. He said it was a most horrid imposition that such fellows were ever suffered to prey on the necessitous; but that the example would be much worse to reward them where they had behaved themselves ill. “And I think,” says he, “the bailiff is worthy of great rebuke for what he hath just now said; in which I hope he hath boasted of more power than is in him. We do, indeed, with great justice and propriety value ourselves on our freedom if the liberty of the subject depends on the pleasure of such fellows as these!”

Doctor Harrison, whom Booth consulted about the situation, gave a brief overview of what had happened and stated that the captain was in the right. He said it was a terrible injustice that such people were allowed to take advantage of those in need, but it would be even worse to reward them for their bad behavior. “And I think,” he said, “the bailiff deserves strong criticism for what he just said; I hope he’s boasting of more authority than he actually has. We truly justly pride ourselves on our freedom if the liberty of individuals depends on the whims of people like this!”

“It is not so neither altogether,” cries the lawyer; “but custom hath established a present or fee to them at the delivery of a prisoner, which they call civility-money, and expect as in a manner their due, though in reality they have no right.”

“It’s not that simple,” the lawyer argues. “But tradition has set a fee that they expect when a prisoner is delivered, which they call civility money, and they act like it’s something they deserve, even though they have no real claim to it.”

“But will any man,” cries Doctor Harrison, “after what the captain hath told us, say that the bailiff hath behaved himself as he ought; and, if he had, is he to be rewarded for not acting in an unchristian and inhuman manner? it is pity that, instead of a custom of feeing them out of the pockets of the poor and wretched, when they do not behave themselves ill, there was not both a law and a practice to punish them severely when they do. In the present case, I am so far from agreeing to give the bailiff a shilling, that, if there be any method of punishing him for his rudeness, I shall be heartily glad to see it put in execution; for there are none whose conduct should be so strictly watched as that of these necessary evils in the society, as their office concerns for the most part those poor creatures who cannot do themselves justice, and as they are generally the worst of men who undertake it.”

“But will any man,” exclaims Doctor Harrison, “after what the captain has told us, say that the bailiff has acted as he should? And if he did, should he be rewarded for not behaving in an unchristian and inhumane way? It’s a shame that, instead of a system of paying them out of the pockets of the poor and miserable when they aren’t behaving badly, there isn’t both a law and a practice to punish them harshly when they do. In this case, I’m so far from agreeing to give the bailiff a shilling that if there’s any way to punish him for his rudeness, I would be very pleased to see that done; for there are few whose behavior should be more closely monitored than these necessary evils in society, as their role mostly affects those poor individuals who cannot seek justice for themselves, and they are generally the worst kinds of people who take on this job.”

The bailiff then quitted the room, muttering that he should know better what to do another time; and shortly after, Booth and his friends left the house; but, as they were going out, the author took Doctor Harrison aside, and slipt a receipt into his hand, which the doctor returned, saying, he never subscribed when he neither knew the work nor the author; but that, if he would call at his lodgings, he would be very willing to give all the encouragement to merit which was in his power.

The bailiff then left the room, grumbling that he should know better what to do next time; and shortly after, Booth and his friends exited the house. However, as they were leaving, the author pulled Doctor Harrison aside and slipped a receipt into his hand. The doctor handed it back, saying he never endorsed something when he didn't know the work or the author; but that if the author came by his place, he would be more than willing to support any deserving work in any way he could.

The author took down the doctor’s name and direction, and made him as many bows as he would have done had he carried off the half-guinea for which he had been fishing.

The author wrote down the doctor's name and location, and bowed to him as many times as he would have if he had snagged the half-guinea he was after.

Mr. Booth then took his leave of the philosopher, and departed with the rest of his friends.

Mr. Booth then said goodbye to the philosopher and left with the rest of his friends.

END OF VOL. II.










VOL. III.










BOOK IX.










Chapter i. — In which the history looks backwards.

Before we proceed farther with our history it may be proper to look back a little, in order to account for the late conduct of Doctor Harrison; which, however inconsistent it may have hitherto appeared, when examined to the bottom will be found, I apprehend, to be truly congruous with all the rules of the most perfect prudence as well as with the most consummate goodness.

Before we move forward with our story, it might be a good idea to take a moment to reflect on the recent actions of Doctor Harrison. Although his behavior may have seemed inconsistent until now, I believe that, when we look deeper, it will be clear that it aligns perfectly with the highest standards of wisdom and the greatest kindness.

We have already partly seen in what light Booth had been represented to the doctor abroad. Indeed, the accounts which were sent of the captain, as well by the curate as by a gentleman of the neighbourhood, were much grosser and more to his disadvantage than the doctor was pleased to set them forth in his letter to the person accused. What sense he had of Booth’s conduct was, however, manifest by that letter. Nevertheless, he resolved to suspend his final judgment till his return; and, though he censured him, would not absolutely condemn him without ocular demonstration.

We have already partially seen how Booth was portrayed to the doctor while abroad. In fact, the reports sent about the captain, both from the curate and a local gentleman, were much harsher and more damaging than the doctor was comfortable putting in his letter to the accused. However, his opinion of Booth’s behavior was clear from that letter. Still, he decided to hold off on making a final judgment until his return; and while he criticized him, he wouldn’t fully condemn him without seeing proof for himself.

The doctor, on his return to his parish, found all the accusations which had been transmitted to him confirmed by many witnesses, of which the curate’s wife, who had been formerly a friend to Amelia, and still preserved the outward appearance of friendship, was the strongest. She introduced all with—“I am sorry to say it; and it is friendship which bids me speak; and it is for their good it should be told you.” After which beginnings she never concluded a single speech without some horrid slander and bitter invective.

The doctor, upon returning to his parish, found that all the accusations he had received were backed by numerous witnesses, with the curate’s wife being the most convincing. She had once been a friend to Amelia and still maintained the appearance of friendship. She would always start with, “I’m sorry to say this; my friendship makes me speak up, and it’s for their own good that you should know.” After such introductions, she never ended a single conversation without some awful gossip and harsh criticism.

Besides the malicious turn which was given to these affairs in the country, which were owing a good deal to misfortune, and some little perhaps to imprudence, the whole neighbourhood rung with several gross and scandalous lies, which were merely the inventions of his enemies, and of which the scene was laid in London since his absence.

Besides the harmful twist that these events took in the country, which were largely due to misfortune and maybe a bit to rashness, the entire neighborhood buzzed with several outrageous and scandalous lies, which were just fabrications from his enemies, and were supposedly set in London during his absence.

Poisoned with all this malice, the doctor came to town; and, learning where Booth lodged, went to make him a visit. Indeed, it was the doctor, and no other, who had been at his lodgings that evening when Booth and Amelia were walking in the Park, and concerning which the reader may be pleased to remember so many strange and odd conjectures.

Poisoned by all this malice, the doctor arrived in town; and, upon finding out where Booth was staying, he went to pay him a visit. In fact, it was the doctor, and no one else, who had been at Booth's place that evening when Booth and Amelia were walking in the Park, and the reader might recall all the strange and odd theories surrounding that.

Here the doctor saw the little gold watch and all those fine trinkets with which the noble lord had presented the children, and which, from the answers given him by the poor ignorant, innocent girl, he could have no doubt had been purchased within a few days by Amelia.

Here the doctor noticed the small gold watch and all those nice trinkets that the noble lord had given to the children, and from the answers provided to him by the poor, naive girl, he couldn't doubt that Amelia had bought them just a few days ago.

This account tallied so well with the ideas he had imbibed of Booth’s extravagance in the country, that he firmly believed both the husband and wife to be the vainest, silliest, and most unjust people alive. It was, indeed, almost incredible that two rational beings should be guilty of such absurdity; but, monstrous and absurd as it was, ocular demonstration appeared to be the evidence against them.

This story matched perfectly with the ideas he had picked up about Booth's extravagance in the country, leading him to firmly believe that both the husband and wife were the most vain, foolish, and unjust people around. It truly seemed unbelievable that two reasonable people could behave so ridiculously; however, as outrageous and absurd as it was, the evidence he saw with his own eyes seemed to confirm it.

The doctor departed from their lodgings enraged at this supposed discovery, and, unhappily for Booth, was engaged to supper that very evening with the country gentleman of whom Booth had rented a farm. As the poor captain happened to be the subject of conversation, and occasioned their comparing notes, the account which the doctor gave of what he had seen that evening so incensed the gentleman, to whom Booth was likewise a debtor, that he vowed he would take a writ out against him the next morning, and have his body alive or dead; and the doctor was at last persuaded to do the same. Mr. Murphy was thereupon immediately sent for; and the doctor in his presence repeated again what he had seen at his lodgings as the foundation of his suing him, which the attorney, as we have before seen, had blabbed to Atkinson.

The doctor left his place fuming about this supposed discovery and, unfortunately for Booth, had dinner that very evening with the country gentleman from whom Booth had rented a farm. Since the poor captain was the topic of conversation, they ended up comparing notes. The doctor's account of what he had seen that evening so angered the gentleman, who was also owed money by Booth, that he swore he would file a lawsuit against him the next morning and capture him, dead or alive. The doctor was eventually convinced to do the same. Mr. Murphy was then called right away; and in his presence, the doctor recounted once more what he had seen at his lodgings as the reason for his lawsuit, which the attorney, as we’ve previously noted, had leaked to Atkinson.

But no sooner did the doctor hear that Booth was arrested than the wretched condition of his wife and family began to affect his mind. The children, who were to be utterly undone with their father, were intirely innocent; and as for Amelia herself, though he thought he had most convincing proofs of very blameable levity, yet his former friendship and affection to her were busy to invent every excuse, till, by very heavily loading the husband, they lightened the suspicion against the wife.

But as soon as the doctor heard that Booth was arrested, the awful situation of his wife and family started to weigh on his mind. The children, who would be completely devastated by their father's fate, were completely innocent; and as for Amelia herself, even though he believed he had strong evidence of her irresponsible behavior, his previous friendship and affection for her pushed him to come up with every excuse, until, by putting all the blame on the husband, he eased the suspicion against the wife.

In this temper of mind he resolved to pay Amelia a second visit, and was on his way to Mrs. Ellison when the serjeant met him and made himself known to him. The doctor took his old servant into a coffee-house, where he received from him such an account of Booth and his family, that he desired the serjeant to shew him presently to Amelia; and this was the cordial which we mentioned at the end of the ninth chapter of the preceding book.

In this mood, he decided to visit Amelia again and was heading to Mrs. Ellison's when he ran into the sergeant, who introduced himself. The doctor took his former servant to a coffee shop, where he got an update on Booth and his family. He asked the sergeant to take him to Amelia right away, and this was the encouragement we mentioned at the end of the ninth chapter of the previous book.

The doctor became soon satisfied concerning the trinkets which had given him so much uneasiness, and which had brought so much mischief on the head of poor Booth. Amelia likewise gave the doctor some satisfaction as to what he had heard of her husband’s behaviour in the country; and assured him, upon her honour, that Booth could so well answer every complaint against his conduct, that she had no doubt but that a man of the doctor’s justice and candour would entirely acquit him, and would consider him as an innocent unfortunate man, who was the object of a good man’s compassion, not of his anger or resentment.

The doctor soon felt relieved about the trinkets that had caused him so much worry and brought so much trouble for poor Booth. Amelia also provided the doctor with some comfort regarding what he had heard about her husband’s behavior out in the country. She assured him, on her honor, that Booth could convincingly address every complaint about his actions, and she had no doubt that a man of the doctor’s fairness and integrity would fully clear him and see him as an innocent victim deserving of compassion, not anger or resentment.

This worthy clergyman, who was not desirous of finding proofs to condemn the captain or to justify his own vindictive proceedings, but, on the contrary, rejoiced heartily in every piece of evidence which tended to clear up the character of his friend, gave a ready ear to all which Amelia said. To this, indeed, he was induced by the love he always had for that lady, by the good opinion he entertained of her, as well as by pity for her present condition, than which nothing appeared more miserable; for he found her in the highest agonies of grief and despair, with her two little children crying over their wretched mother. These are, indeed, to a well-disposed mind, the most tragical sights that human nature can furnish, and afford a juster motive to grief and tears in the beholder than it would be to see all the heroes who have ever infested the earth hanged all together in a string.

This admirable clergyman, who wasn't looking for evidence to condemn the captain or justify his own vindictive actions, but instead truly celebrated every piece of evidence that helped clear his friend’s name, listened attentively to everything Amelia said. His willingness to do so was driven by his ongoing affection for her, his good opinion of her, and his compassion for her current situation, which seemed utterly miserable; he found her in deep anguish and despair, while her two little children cried over their sorrowful mother. These moments are indeed some of the most tragic sights that human nature can present, evoking a more genuine grief and tears in onlookers than witnessing all the heroes who have ever plagued the earth hanging together in a line.

The doctor felt this sight as he ought. He immediately endeavoured to comfort the afflicted; in which he so well succeeded, that he restored to Amelia sufficient spirits to give him the satisfaction we have mentioned: after which he declared he would go and release her husband, which he accordingly did in the manner we have above related.

The doctor reacted appropriately to what he saw. He quickly tried to comfort the distressed, and he did such a good job that he lifted Amelia's spirits enough to give him the satisfaction we mentioned earlier. After that, he said he would go and free her husband, which he did as we have already described.










Chapter ii. — In which the history goes forward.

We now return to that period of our history to which we had brought it at the end of our last book.

We now return to that time in our history that we concluded at the end of our last book.

Booth and his friends arrived from the bailiff’s, at the serjeant’s lodgings, where Booth immediately ran up-stairs to his Amelia; between whom I shall not attempt to describe the meeting. Nothing certainly was ever more tender or more joyful. This, however, I will observe, that a very few of these exquisite moments, of which the best minds only are capable, do in reality over-balance the longest enjoyments which can ever fall to the lot of the worst.

Booth and his friends arrived from the bailiff’s to the sergeant’s place, where Booth quickly ran upstairs to his Amelia. I won’t try to describe their reunion, but it was definitely filled with tenderness and joy. I will say that just a few of these incredible moments, which only the best minds can truly appreciate, outweigh even the longest pleasures that the worst people might experience.

Whilst Booth and his wife were feasting their souls with the most delicious mutual endearments, the doctor was fallen to play with the two little children below-stairs. While he was thus engaged the little boy did somewhat amiss; upon which the doctor said, “If you do so any more I will take your papa away from you again.”—“Again! sir,” said the child; “why, was it you then that took away my papa before?” “Suppose it was,” said the doctor; “would not you forgive me?” “Yes,” cries the child, “I would forgive you; because a Christian must forgive everybody; but I should hate you as long as I live.”

While Booth and his wife were enjoying each other's affection, the doctor was downplaying with the two little kids downstairs. While he was doing this, the little boy misbehaved a bit, so the doctor said, “If you do that again, I’ll take your dad away from you.” “Again! Sir,” the child replied, “were you the one who took my dad away before?” “What if I was,” said the doctor; “wouldn't you forgive me?” “Yes,” the child said, “I would forgive you because a Christian has to forgive everyone; but I would hate you for the rest of my life.”

The doctor was so pleased with the boy’s answer, that he caught him in his arms and kissed him; at which time Booth and his wife returned. The doctor asked which of them was their son’s instructor in his religion; Booth answered that he must confess Amelia had all the merit of that kind. “I should have rather thought he had learnt of his father,” cries the doctor; “for he seems a good soldier-like Christian, and professes to hate his enemies with a very good grace.”

The doctor was so happy with the boy's answer that he scooped him up in his arms and kissed him; just then, Booth and his wife came back. The doctor asked who was their son's teacher in his religion; Booth admitted that Amelia was solely responsible for that. “I would have thought he learned from his father,” the doctor replied; “because he seems like a good, soldierly Christian and says he hates his enemies quite gracefully.”

“How, Billy!” cries Amelia. “I am sure I did not teach you so.”

“How are you, Billy!” Amelia exclaims. “I’m sure I didn’t teach you to act that way.”

“I did not say I would hate my enemies, madam,” cries the boy; “I only said I would hate papa’s enemies. Sure, mamma, there is no harm in that; nay, I am sure there is no harm in it, for I have heard you say the same thing a thousand times.”

“I didn’t say I would hate my enemies, ma’am,” the boy protests; “I only said I would hate Dad’s enemies. Come on, Mom, there’s nothing wrong with that; in fact, I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with it, since I’ve heard you say the same thing a thousand times.”

The doctor smiled on the child, and, chucking him under the chin, told him he must hate nobody 5 and now Mrs. Atkinson, who had provided a dinner for them all, desired them to walk up and partake of it.

The doctor smiled at the child and, giving him a playful chin lift, told him he shouldn't hate anyone. Now Mrs. Atkinson, who had prepared dinner for everyone, asked them to come and enjoy it.

And now it was that Booth was first made acquainted with the serjeant’s marriage, as was Dr Harrison; both of whom greatly felicitated him upon it.

And now Booth was first informed about the sergeant's marriage, as was Dr. Harrison; both of them congratulated him on it.

Mrs. Atkinson, who was, perhaps, a little more confounded than she would have been had she married a colonel, said, “If I have done wrong, Mrs. Booth is to answer for it, for she made the match; indeed, Mr. Atkinson, you are greatly obliged to the character which this lady gives of you.” “I hope he will deserve it,” said the doctor; “and, if the army hath not corrupted a good boy, I believe I may answer for him.”

Mrs. Atkinson, who was maybe a bit more confused than she would have been if she'd married a colonel, said, “If I’ve messed up, Mrs. Booth is at fault because she set this up; honestly, Mr. Atkinson, you owe a lot to the good opinion this lady has of you.” “I hope he lives up to it,” the doctor replied; “and if the army hasn’t ruined a good kid, I think I can vouch for him.”

While our little company were enjoying that happiness which never fails to attend conversation where all present are pleased with each other, a visitant arrived who was, perhaps, not very welcome to any of them. This was no other than Colonel James, who, entering the room with much gaiety, went directly up to Booth, embraced him, and expressed great satisfaction at finding him there; he then made an apology for not attending him in the morning, which he said had been impossible; and that he had, with the utmost difficulty, put off some business of great consequence in order to serve him this afternoon; “but I am glad on your account,” cried he to Booth, “that my presence was not necessary.”

While our little company was enjoying that happiness that always comes from a conversation where everyone is happy with each other, a visitor showed up who probably wasn’t very welcome to anyone. This was none other than Colonel James, who entered the room cheerfully, went straight up to Booth, hugged him, and expressed great happiness at finding him there. He then apologized for not being able to meet with him in the morning, which he claimed was impossible, and said he had, with great effort, postponed some important business to be able to help him this afternoon; “but I’m glad for you,” he said to Booth, “that my presence wasn’t necessary.”

Booth himself was extremely satisfied with this declaration, and failed not to return him as many thanks as he would have deserved had he performed his promise; but the two ladies were not quite so well satisfied. As for the serjeant, he had slipt out of the room when the colonel entered, not entirely out of that bashfulness which we have remarked him to be tainted with, but indeed, from what had past in the morning, he hated the sight of the colonel as well on the account of his wife as on that of his friend.

Booth was really pleased with this announcement and made sure to thank him as much as he would have if he had kept his promise. However, the two ladies weren't quite as happy. As for the sergeant, he slipped out of the room when the colonel walked in, not just because of the shyness we've noticed in him, but also because of what happened in the morning; he couldn't stand the sight of the colonel because of his wife and his friend.

The doctor, on the contrary, on what he had formerly heard from both Amelia and her husband of the colonel’s generosity and friendship, had built so good an opinion of him, that he was very much pleased with seeing him, and took the first opportunity of telling him so. “Colonel,” said the doctor, “I have not the happiness of being known to you; but I have long been desirous of an acquaintance with a gentleman in whose commendation I have heard so much from some present.” The colonel made a proper answer to this compliment, and they soon entered into a familiar conversation together; for the doctor was not difficult of access; indeed, he held the strange reserve which is usually practised in this nation between people who are in any degree strangers to each other to be very unbecoming the Christian character.

The doctor, on the other hand, based on what he had previously heard from both Amelia and her husband about the colonel’s generosity and friendship, had formed such a positive opinion of him that he was really happy to see him and took the first chance to express that. “Colonel,” said the doctor, “I’m not fortunate enough to know you, but I’ve long wanted to meet a gentleman who has received so many praises from some people here.” The colonel responded appropriately to this compliment, and they quickly engaged in a friendly conversation together; the doctor was easy to approach. In fact, he considered the awkward reserve typically shown in this country between people who don’t know each other very well to be uncharacteristic of a Christian.

The two ladies soon left the room; and the remainder of the visit, which was not very long, past in discourse on various common subjects, not worth recording. In the conclusion, the colonel invited Booth and his lady, and the doctor, to dine with him the next day.

The two women quickly exited the room, and the rest of the visit, which wasn't very long, was spent chatting about various ordinary topics that aren't worth mentioning. In the end, the colonel invited Booth and his wife, along with the doctor, to dinner with him the following day.

To give Colonel James his due commendation, he had shewn a great command of himself and great presence of mind on this occasion; for, to speak the plain truth, the visit was intended to Amelia alone; nor did he expect, or perhaps desire, anything less than to find the captain at home. The great joy which he suddenly conveyed into his countenance at the unexpected sight of his friend is to be attributed to that noble art which is taught in those excellent schools called the several courts of Europe. By this, men are enabled to dress out their countenances as much at their own pleasure as they do their bodies, and to put on friendship with as much ease as they can a laced coat.

To give Colonel James his proper credit, he showed great self-control and quick thinking in this situation; honestly, the visit was meant for Amelia alone, and he didn’t expect, or maybe even want, anything less than to find the captain home. The huge joy that suddenly lit up his face at the unexpected sight of his friend can be attributed to that skill taught in those fine schools known as the various courts of Europe. Because of this, people can present their expressions as easily as they dress their bodies and can put on a friendly demeanor as easily as they wear a fancy coat.

When the colonel and doctor were gone, Booth acquainted Amelia with the invitation he had received. She was so struck with the news, and betrayed such visible marks of confusion and uneasiness, that they could not have escaped Booth’s observation had suspicion given him the least hint to remark; but this, indeed, is the great optic-glass helping us to discern plainly almost all that passes in the minds of others, without some use of which nothing is more purblind than human nature.

When the colonel and doctor left, Booth informed Amelia about the invitation he had received. She was so taken aback by the news and showed such clear signs of confusion and anxiety that Booth couldn't help but notice, unless he had been too suspicious to pay attention. This is, in fact, the major lens that helps us to clearly see almost everything going on in other people's minds; without it, nothing is as blind as human nature.

Amelia, having recovered from her first perturbation, answered, “My dear, I will dine with you wherever you please to lay your commands on me.” “I am obliged to you, my dear soul,” cries Booth; “your obedience shall be very easy, for my command will be that you shall always follow your own inclinations.” “My inclinations,” answered she, “would, I am afraid, be too unreasonable a confinement to you; for they would always lead me to be with you and your children, with at most a single friend or two now and then.” “O my dear!” replied he, “large companies give us a greater relish for our own society when we return to it; and we shall be extremely merry, for Doctor Harrison dines with us.” “I hope you will, my dear,” cries she; “but I own I should have been better pleased to have enjoyed a few days with yourself and the children, with no other person but Mrs. Atkinson, for whom I have conceived a violent affection, and who would have given us but little interruption. However, if you have promised, I must undergo the penance.” “Nay, child,” cried he, “I am sure I would have refused, could I have guessed it had been in the least disagreeable to you though I know your objection.” “Objection!” cries Amelia eagerly “I have no objection.” “Nay, nay,” said he, “come, be honest, I know your objection, though you are unwilling to own it.” “Good Heavens!” cryed Amelia, frightened, “what do you mean? what objection?” “Why,” answered he, “to the company of Mrs. James; and I must confess she hath not behaved to you lately as you might have expected; but you ought to pass all that by for the sake of her husband, to whom we have both so many obligations, who is the worthiest, honestest, and most generous fellow in the universe, and the best friend to me that ever man had.”

Amelia, having gotten over her initial surprise, replied, “My dear, I’ll have dinner with you wherever you want to go.” “Thank you, my dear,” Booth exclaimed; “following my command will be easy, as I just want you to follow your own wishes.” “My wishes,” she replied, “would probably be too much of a burden for you; they would always lead me to be with you and the kids, along with maybe one or two friends once in a while.” “Oh my dear!” he said, “being in larger groups makes us appreciate our own company more when we get back to it; and we’ll have a great time because Doctor Harrison is joining us for dinner.” “I hope you will enjoy it, my dear,” she said; “but honestly, I would have preferred to spend a few days just with you and the kids, with no one else except Mrs. Atkinson, who I’ve grown very fond of and who wouldn’t interrupt us much. But if you’ve already promised, I’ll have to go along with it.” “Oh, sweetheart,” he said, “I would have turned it down if I’d known it would bother you, even though I understand your concern.” “Concern!” Amelia exclaimed eagerly, “I have no concern.” “No, no,” he said, “be honest, I know what’s bothering you, even if you don’t want to admit it.” “Good heavens!” Amelia cried, frightened, “what do you mean? What’s bothering me?” “Well,” he answered, “it’s about Mrs. James; and I have to admit she hasn’t treated you as you might expect lately; but you should overlook that for the sake of her husband, to whom we both owe so much, who is the most deserving, honest, and generous person in the world, and the best friend I have ever had.”

Amelia, who had far other suspicions, and began to fear that her husband had discovered them, was highly pleased when she saw him taking a wrong scent. She gave, therefore, a little in to the deceit, and acknowledged the truth of what he had mentioned; but said that the pleasure she should have in complying with his desires would highly recompense any dissatisfaction which might arise on any other account; and shortly after ended the conversation on this subject with her chearfully promising to fulfil his promise.

Amelia, who had other suspicions and started to worry that her husband had caught on, felt a sense of relief when she noticed him going off on a false trail. So, she played along a bit and confirmed what he had said, but added that the joy she would get from meeting his desires would more than make up for any potential issues that could come up. Shortly after, she wrapped up the conversation on this topic by happily promising to keep her word.

In reality, poor Amelia had now a most unpleasant task to undertake; for she thought it absolutely necessary to conceal from her husband the opinion she had conceived of the colonel. For, as she knew the characters, as well of her husband as of his friend, or rather enemy (both being often synonymous in the language of the world), she had the utmost reason to apprehend something very fatal might attend her husband’s entertaining the same thought of James which filled and tormented her own breast.

In reality, poor Amelia now had a really unpleasant task ahead of her; she thought it was absolutely necessary to hide from her husband how she felt about the colonel. She understood the personalities of both her husband and his friend—or maybe enemy, since those terms often mean the same thing in the world. She had every reason to fear that something truly terrible could happen if her husband started to have the same thoughts about James that were filling and torturing her own heart.

And, as she knew that nothing but these thoughts could justify the least unkind, or, indeed, the least reserved behaviour to James, who had, in all appearance, conferred the greatest obligations upon Booth and herself, she was reduced to a dilemma the most dreadful that can attend a virtuous woman, as it often gives the highest triumph, and sometimes no little advantage, to the men of professed gallantry.

And, since she realized that only these thoughts could justify any unkind or even slightly distant behavior towards James, who, by all appearances, had placed the greatest burdens on Booth and her, she found herself in a situation that was the most terrible for a virtuous woman. This often gave the highest victory, and sometimes even a significant advantage, to men who were openly flirtatious.

In short, to avoid giving any umbrage to her husband, Amelia was forced to act in a manner which she was conscious must give encouragement to the colonel; a situation which perhaps requires as great prudence and delicacy as any in which the heroic part of the female character can be exerted.

In short, to avoid upsetting her husband, Amelia had to behave in a way that she knew would encourage the colonel; a situation that perhaps demands as much caution and sensitivity as any in which a woman can show her strength.










Chapter iii. — A conversation between Dr Harrison and others.

The next day Booth and his lady, with the doctor, met at Colonel James’s, where Colonel Bath likewise made one of the company.

The next day, Booth and his lady, along with the doctor, met at Colonel James’s place, where Colonel Bath also joined them.

Nothing very remarkable passed at dinner, or till the ladies withdrew. During this time, however, the behaviour of Colonel James was such as gave some uneasiness to Amelia, who well understood his meaning, though the particulars were too refined and subtle to be observed by any other present.

Nothing particularly noteworthy happened at dinner, or until the ladies left the table. During this time, however, Colonel James's behavior caused some concern for Amelia, who clearly understood his intentions, even though the specifics were too refined and subtle for anyone else present to notice.

When the ladies were gone, which was as soon as Amelia could prevail on Mrs. James to depart, Colonel Bath, who had been pretty brisk with champagne at dinner, soon began to display his magnanimity. “My brother tells me, young gentleman,” said he to Booth, “that you have been used very ill lately by some rascals, and I have no doubt but you will do yourself justice.”

When the women left, which happened as soon as Amelia managed to get Mrs. James to go, Colonel Bath, who had been lively with champagne at dinner, soon started to show his generosity. “My brother tells me, young man,” he said to Booth, “that some scoundrels have treated you very poorly lately, and I’m sure you’ll stand up for yourself.”

Booth answered that he did not know what he meant. “Since I must mention it then,” cries the colonel, “I hear you have been arrested; and I think you know what satisfaction is to be required by a man of honour.”

Booth replied that he didn't understand what he meant. “Since I have to bring it up,” the colonel exclaimed, “I've heard you were arrested; and I believe you know what kind of reparation a man of honor expects.”

“I beg, sir,” says the doctor, “no more may be mentioned of that matter. I am convinced no satisfaction will be required of the captain till he is able to give it.”

“I beg you, sir,” says the doctor, “let’s not talk about that anymore. I’m certain no one will ask the captain for anything until he’s able to provide it.”

“I do not understand what you mean by able,” cries the colonel. To which the doctor answered, “That it was of too tender a nature to speak more of.”

“I don’t understand what you mean by able,” the colonel exclaimed. To which the doctor replied, “That it was too sensitive a topic to discuss further.”

“Give me your hand, doctor,” cries the colonel; “I see you are a man of honour, though you wear a gown. It is, as you say, a matter of a tender nature. Nothing, indeed, is so tender as a man’s honour. Curse my liver, if any man—I mean, that is, if any gentleman, was to arrest me, I would as surely cut his throat as—”

“Give me your hand, doctor,” the colonel exclaims; “I see you’re a man of honor, even though you’re in a gown. As you said, this is a sensitive issue. Nothing is more delicate than a man’s honor. Damn it, if any man—I mean, any gentleman—were to arrest me, I would definitely cut his throat as—”

“How, sir!” said the doctor, “would you compensate one breach of the law by a much greater, and pay your debts by committing murder?”

“How, sir!” said the doctor, “would you make up for one violation of the law with a much bigger one, and settle your debts by committing murder?”

“Why do you mention law between gentlemen?” says the colonel. “A man of honour wears his law by his side; and can the resentment of an affront make a gentleman guilty of murder? and what greater affront can one man cast upon another than by arresting him? I am convinced that he who would put up an arrest would put up a slap in the face.”

“Why are you bringing up the law between gentlemen?” says the colonel. “A man of honor carries his own code; and can the anger from an insult cause a gentleman to commit murder? What greater insult can one man give another than by arresting him? I’m convinced that someone who would tolerate an arrest would also tolerate a slap in the face.”

Here the colonel looked extremely fierce, and the divine stared with astonishment at this doctrine; when Booth, who well knew the impossibility of opposing the colonel’s humour with success, began to play with it; and, having first conveyed a private wink to the doctor, he said there might be cases undoubtedly where such an affront ought to be resented; but that there were others where any resentment was impracticable: “As, for instance,” said he, “where the man is arrested by a woman.”

Here the colonel looked very intimidating, and the divine stared in shock at this idea; when Booth, who knew well that it was pointless to challenge the colonel’s mood, decided to go along with it. After giving the doctor a discreet wink, he remarked that there could definitely be situations where such an insult should be retaliated against; however, in some cases, any retaliation was impossible: “For example,” he said, “when a man is stopped by a woman.”

“I could not be supposed to mean that case,” cries the colonel; “and you are convinced I did not mean it.”

“I couldn’t possibly be talking about that case,” the colonel exclaims; “and you know I didn’t mean it.”

“To put an end to this discourse at once, sir,” said the doctor, “I was the plaintiff at whose suit this gentleman was arrested.”

“To wrap this up right now, sir,” said the doctor, “I was the one who brought the case that led to this gentleman's arrest.”

“Was you so, sir?” cries the colonel; “then I have no more to say. Women and the clergy are upon the same footing. The long-robed gentry are exempted from the laws of honour.”

“Were you really, sir?” the colonel exclaims; “then I have nothing more to say. Women and the clergy are on the same level. The long-robed folks are exempt from the laws of honor.”

“I do not thank you for that exemption, sir,” cries the doctor; “and, if honour and fighting are, as they seem to be, synonymous words with you, I believe there are some clergymen, who in defence of their religion, or their country, or their friend, the only justifiable causes of fighting, except bare self-defence, would fight as bravely as yourself, colonel! and that without being paid for it.”

“I don’t appreciate that exemption, sir,” the doctor exclaims; “and if honor and fighting are, as they appear to be, interchangeable terms for you, I believe there are some clergymen who, in defense of their religion, their country, or their friend—the only justifiable reasons for fighting, apart from pure self-defense—would fight just as bravely as you, colonel! And they would do it without being paid for it.”

“Sir, you are privileged,” says the colonel, with great dignity; “and you have my leave to say what you please. I respect your order, and you cannot offend me.”

“Sir, you are fortunate,” says the colonel, with great dignity; “and you have my permission to speak as you wish. I respect your position, and you cannot upset me.”

“I will not offend you, colonel,” cries the doctor; “and our order is very much obliged to you, since you profess so much respect to us, and pay none to our Master.”

“I won't disrespect you, Colonel,” the doctor exclaims; “and our organization is really grateful to you, since you show us so much respect, but none to our Master.”

“What Master, sir?” said the colonel.

“What Master, sir?” asked the colonel.

“That Master,” answered the doctor, “who hath expressly forbidden all that cutting of throats to which you discover so much inclination.”

“That Master,” replied the doctor, “who has explicitly forbidden all that throat-cutting that you seem so eager for.”

“O! your servant, sir,” said the colonel; “I see what you are driving at; but you shall not persuade me to think that religion forces me to be a coward.”

“O! Your servant, sir,” said the colonel; “I see what you’re getting at; but you won’t convince me that religion makes me a coward.”

“I detest and despise the name as much as you can,” cries the doctor; “but you have a wrong idea of the word, colonel. What were all the Greeks and Romans? were these cowards? and yet, did you ever hear of this butchery, which we call duelling, among them?”

“I hate and loathe the name as much as anyone,” the doctor exclaims; “but you have a misunderstanding of the word, colonel. What were all the Greeks and Romans? Were they cowards? Yet, did you ever hear of this butchery, which we refer to as dueling, among them?”

“Yes, indeed, have I,” cries the colonel. “What else is all Mr. Pope’s Homer full of but duels? Did not what’s his name, one of the Agamemnons, fight with that paultry rascal Paris? and Diomede with what d’ye call him there? and Hector with I forget his name, he that was Achilles’s bosom-friend; and afterwards with Achilles himself? Nay, and in Dryden’s Virgil, is there anything almost besides fighting?”

“Yes, I have,” exclaims the colonel. “What else is Mr. Pope’s Homer full of but duels? Didn’t what’s-his-name, one of the Agamemnons, fight that petty rascal Paris? And Diomede with what’s-his-name? And Hector with, um, that guy who was Achilles’s best friend; and later with Achilles himself? And in Dryden’s Virgil, is there anything almost besides fighting?”

“You are a man of learning, colonel,” cries the doctor; “but—”

“You're a knowledgeable man, Colonel,” the doctor exclaims; “but—”

“I thank you for that compliment,” said the colonel.—“No, sir, I do not pretend to learning; but I have some little reading, and I am not ashamed to own it.”

“I appreciate that compliment,” said the colonel. “No, sir, I’m not claiming to be learned; but I’ve done some reading, and I’m not embarrassed to admit it.”

“But are you sure, colonel,” cries the doctor, “that you have not made a small mistake? for I am apt to believe both Mr. Pope and Mr. Dryden (though I cannot say I ever read a word of either of them) speak of wars between nations, and not of private duels; for of the latter I do not remember one single instance in all the Greek and Roman story. In short, it is a modern custom, introduced by barbarous nations since the times of Christianity; though it is a direct and audacious defiance of the Christian law, and is consequently much more sinful in us than it would have been in the heathens.”

“But are you sure, Colonel,” the doctor exclaims, “that you haven’t made a small mistake? Because I tend to think that both Mr. Pope and Mr. Dryden (even though I can’t say I’ve ever read anything by them) talk about wars between nations, not private duels; and I can’t recall a single instance of the latter in all of Greek and Roman history. In short, it’s a modern practice, introduced by barbaric nations since the time of Christianity; and it’s a direct and bold challenge to Christian law, which makes it much more sinful for us than it would have been for the pagans.”

“Drink about, doctor,” cries the colonel; “and let us call a new cause; for I perceive we shall never agree on this. You are a Churchman, and I don’t expect you to speak your mind.”

“Drink up, doctor,” the colonel says; “and let’s change the subject; because I see we’ll never see eye to eye on this. You’re a Churchman, and I don’t expect you to speak your mind.”

“We are both of the same Church, I hope,” cries the doctor.

“We both belong to the same church, I hope,” the doctor exclaims.

“I am of the Church of England, sir,” answered the colonel, “and will fight for it to the last drop of my blood.”

“I am part of the Church of England, sir,” the colonel replied, “and I will fight for it to my last breath.”

“It is very generous in you, colonel,” cries the doctor, “to fight so zealously for a religion by which you are to be damned.”

“It’s really generous of you, Colonel,” the doctor exclaims, “to fight so passionately for a religion that’s going to damn you.”

“It is well for you, doctor,” cries the colonel, “that you wear a gown; for, by all the dignity of a man, if any other person had said the words you have just uttered, I would have made him eat them; ay, d—n me, and my sword into the bargain.”

“It’s a good thing you’re wearing a gown, doctor,” the colonel shouts, “because honestly, if anyone else had said what you just did, I would have made him eat those words; damn it, I’d throw in my sword for good measure.”

Booth began to be apprehensive that this dispute might grow too warm; in which case he feared that the colonel’s honour, together with the champagne, might hurry him so far as to forget the respect due, and which he professed to pay, to the sacerdotal robe. Booth therefore interposed between the disputants, and said that the colonel had very rightly proposed to call a new subject; for that it was impossible to reconcile accepting a challenge with the Christian religion, or refusing it with the modern notion of honour. “And you must allow it, doctor,” said he, “to be a very hard injunction for a man to become infamous; and more especially for a soldier, who is to lose his bread into the bargain.”

Booth started to get worried that this argument might escalate; if that happened, he feared the colonel's pride, along with the champagne, might push him to forget the respect he claimed to have for the clergy. So, Booth stepped in between the two and said that the colonel was right to suggest changing the topic because it's impossible to reconcile accepting a challenge with Christianity or refusing it with today's sense of honor. "You have to admit, doctor," he said, "that it's a tough demand for a man to become infamous, especially for a soldier who also risks losing his livelihood."

“Ay, sir,” says the colonel, with an air of triumph, “what say you to that?”

“Ay, sir,” says the colonel, confidently, “what do you think about that?”

“Why, I say,” cries the doctor, “that it is much harder to be damned on the other side.”

“Why, I say,” shouts the doctor, “that it’s way harder to be cursed on the other side.”

“That may be,” said the colonel; “but damn me, if I would take an affront of any man breathing, for all that. And yet I believe myself to be as good a Christian as wears a head. My maxim is, never to give an affront, nor ever to take one; and I say that it is the maxim of a good Christian, and no man shall ever persuade me to the contrary.”

“Maybe that’s true,” said the colonel; “but I’ll be damned if I would take an insult from anyone, no matter who they are. And yet, I believe I’m as good a Christian as anyone out there. My rule is to never insult anyone and never take an insult; I believe that’s the principle of a good Christian, and no one will ever convince me otherwise.”

“Well, sir,” said the doctor, “since that is your resolution, I hope no man will ever give you an affront.”

“Well, sir,” the doctor said, “since that's your decision, I hope no one ever disrespects you.”

“I am obliged to you for your hope, doctor,” cries the colonel, with a sneer; “and he that doth will be obliged to you for lending him your gown; for, by the dignity of a man, nothing out of petticoats, I believe, dares affront me.”

“I appreciate your optimism, doctor,” the colonel sneers, “and anyone who does will be grateful to you for letting them borrow your gown; because, by a man's honor, nothing wearing a dress, I believe, would dare to challenge me.”

Colonel James had not hitherto joined in the discourse. In truth, his thoughts had been otherwise employed; nor is it very difficult for the reader to guess what had been the subject of them. Being waked, however, from his reverie, and having heard the two or three last speeches, he turned to his brother, and asked him, why he would introduce such a topic of conversation before a gentleman of Doctor Harrison’s character?

Colonel James hadn't joined in the conversation until now. To be honest, he had been lost in his own thoughts; it’s not hard for the reader to figure out what was on his mind. However, once he was pulled from his daydream and listened to the last couple of remarks, he turned to his brother and asked why he would bring up such a topic in front of someone like Doctor Harrison.

“Brother,” cried Bath, “I own it was wrong, and I ask the doctor’s pardon: I know not how it happened to arise; for you know, brother, I am not used to talk of these matters. They are generally poltroons that do. I think I need not be beholden to my tongue to declare I am none. I have shown myself in a line of battle. I believe there is no man will deny that; I believe I may say no man dares deny that I have done my duty.”

“Brother,” Bath exclaimed, “I admit I was wrong, and I apologize to the doctor: I’m not sure how it came to this because, as you know, brother, I’m not one to discuss these things. Usually, it’s cowards who do. I don’t need to rely on my words to prove I’m not one of them. I have stood my ground in battle. I believe no one can deny that; I think it’s safe to say that no one would dare deny that I have done my duty.”

The colonel was thus proceeding to prove that his prowess was neither the subject of his discourse nor the object of his vanity, when a servant entered and summoned the company to tea with the ladies; a summons which Colonel James instantly obeyed, and was followed by all the rest.

The colonel was proving that his skills were neither the topic of his conversation nor the source of his pride when a servant came in and called the group to join the ladies for tea; a request that Colonel James immediately complied with, and everyone else followed.

But as the tea-table conversation, though extremely delightful to those who are engaged in it, may probably appear somewhat dull to the reader, we will here put an end to the chapter.

But since the tea-table conversation, while really enjoyable for those involved, might seem a bit boring to the reader, we'll wrap up this chapter here.










Chapter iv. — A dialogue between Booth and Amelia.

The next morning early, Booth went by appointment and waited on Colonel James; whence he returned to Amelia in that kind of disposition which the great master of human passion would describe in Andromache, when he tells us she cried and smiled at the same instant.

The next morning, Booth went to meet Colonel James as planned and returned to Amelia feeling a mix of emotions, like how the great master of human passion described Andromache, saying she cried and smiled at the same time.

Amelia plainly perceived the discomposure of his mind, in which the opposite affections of joy and grief were struggling for the superiority, and begged to know the occasion; upon which Booth spoke as follows:—

Amelia clearly noticed the turmoil in his mind, where conflicting feelings of joy and sadness were battling for dominance, and she asked him what was wrong; to which Booth replied:—

“My dear,” said he, “I had no intention to conceal from you what hath past this morning between me and the colonel, who hath oppressed me, if I may use that expression, with obligations. Sure never man had such a friend; for never was there so noble, so generous a heart—I cannot help this ebullition of gratitude, I really cannot.” Here he paused a moment, and wiped his eyes, and then proceeded: “You know, my dear, how gloomy the prospect was yesterday before our eyes, how inevitable ruin stared me in the face; and the dreadful idea of having entailed beggary on my Amelia and her posterity racked my mind; for though, by the goodness of the doctor, I had regained my liberty, the debt yet remained; and, if that worthy man had a design of forgiving me his share, this must have been my utmost hope, and the condition in which I must still have found myself need not to be expatiated on. In what light, then, shall I see, in what words shall I relate, the colonel’s kindness? O my dear Amelia! he hath removed the whole gloom at once, hath driven all despair out of my mind, and hath filled it with the most sanguine, and, at the same time, the most reasonable hopes of making a comfortable provision for yourself and my dear children. In the first place, then, he will advance me a sum of money to pay off all my debts; and this on a bond to be repaid only when I shall become colonel of a regiment, and not before. In the next place, he is gone this very morning to ask a company for me, which is now vacant in the West Indies; and, as he intends to push this with all his interest, neither he nor I have any doubt of his success. Now, my dear, comes the third, which, though perhaps it ought to give me the greatest joy, such is, I own, the weakness of my nature, it rends my very heartstrings asunder. I cannot mention it, for I know it will give you equal pain; though I know, on all proper occasions, you can exert a manly resolution. You will not, I am convinced, oppose it, whatever you must suffer in complying. O my dear Amelia! I must suffer likewise; yet I have resolved to bear it. You know not what my poor heart hath suffered since he made the proposal. It is love for you alone which could persuade me to submit to it. Consider our situation; consider that of our children; reflect but on those poor babes, whose future happiness is at stake, and it must arm your resolution. It is your interest and theirs that reconciled me to a proposal which, when the colonel first made it, struck me with the utmost horror; he hath, indeed, from these motives, persuaded me into a resolution which I thought impossible for any one to have persuaded me into. O my dear Amelia! let me entreat you to give me up to the good of your children, as I have promised the colonel to give you up to their interest and your own. If you refuse these terms we are still undone, for he insists absolutely upon them. Think, then, my love, however hard they may be, necessity compels us to submit to them. I know in what light a woman, who loves like you, must consider such a proposal; and yet how many instances have you of women who, from the same motives, have submitted to the same!”

“My dear,” he said, “I had no intention of hiding from you what happened this morning between me and the colonel, who has burdened me, if I may say so, with obligations. Never has a man had such a friend; there has never been such a noble, such a generous heart—I can’t help this outburst of gratitude, I truly can’t.” He paused for a moment and wiped his eyes, then continued: “You know, my dear, how bleak our future looked yesterday, how inevitable ruin loomed over me; the terrible thought of leaving Amelia and our children in poverty tormented my mind. Although I regained my freedom thanks to the doctor’s kindness, the debt still remained; and even if that decent man planned to forgive me his share, it was still my only hope, and the situation I would have found myself in doesn’t need further explanation. So how should I describe the colonel’s kindness? Oh my dear Amelia! He has lifted the entire gloom at once, driven all despair out of my mind, and filled it with the most optimistic and, at the same time, reasonable hopes of making a comfortable living for you and our dear children. First, he will lend me some money to pay off all my debts; this will be on a promise to repay it only when I become a colonel of a regiment, and not before. Next, he has gone this very morning to apply for a vacant company for me in the West Indies; and since he plans to pursue this with all his influence, neither he nor I doubt he will succeed. Now comes the third part, which should probably bring me the greatest joy, but, I admit, because of my nature, it tears my heart apart. I can’t bring myself to mention it, as I know it will cause you equal pain; though I know that on the right occasions, you can show a strong resolve. I’m convinced you won’t oppose it, no matter the suffering it may cause you in agreeing. Oh my dear Amelia! I must endure it as well; yet I have decided to accept it. You have no idea what my poor heart has endured since he made the offer. It’s my love for you that has made me willing to accept it. Consider our situation; think about our children; just reflect on those poor little ones, whose future happiness is at stake, and it must strengthen your resolve. It is your and their best interests that have made me accept a proposal that, when the colonel first suggested it, horrified me; he has indeed, for these reasons, convinced me to agree to something I thought impossible for anyone to have persuaded me to do. Oh my dear Amelia! Please let me sacrifice for the good of your children, as I promised the colonel I would prioritize their interests and yours. If you refuse these conditions, we are still doomed, as he insists absolutely on them. So, my love, no matter how difficult they may seem, necessity forces us to accept them. I know how a woman who loves as you do must view such a proposal; yet how many examples do you have of women who, for the same reasons, have accepted similar offers!”

“What can you mean, Mr. Booth?” cries Amelia, trembling.

“What do you mean, Mr. Booth?” Amelia exclaims, trembling.

“Need I explain my meaning to you more?” answered Booth.—“Did I not say I must give up my Amelia?”

“Do I really need to explain myself further?” Booth replied. “Didn't I say I have to give up my Amelia?”

“Give me up!” said she.

“Leave me alone!” she said.

“For a time only, I mean,” answered he: “for a short time perhaps. The colonel himself will take care it shall not be long—for I know his heart; I shall scarce have more joy in receiving you back than he will have in restoring you to my arms. In the mean time, he will not only be a father to my children, but a husband to you.”

“For a while only, I mean,” he replied, “for a little while perhaps. The colonel himself will make sure it won’t be long—for I know his heart; I will hardly have more joy in welcoming you back than he will have in bringing you back to me. In the meantime, he will not only be a father to my children but also a husband to you.”

“A husband to me!” said Amelia.

“A husband to me!” said Amelia.

“Yes, my dear; a kind, a fond, a tender, an affectionate husband. If I had not the most certain assurances of this, doth my Amelia think I could be prevailed on to leave her? No, my Amelia, he is the only man on earth who could have prevailed on me; but I know his house, his purse, his protection, will be all at your command. And as for any dislike you have conceived to his wife, let not that be any objection; for I am convinced he will not suffer her to insult you; besides, she is extremely well bred, and, how much soever she may hate you in her heart, she will at least treat you with civility.

“Yes, my dear; a kind, loving, tender, and affectionate husband. If I didn’t have the utmost certainty about this, does my Amelia really think I could be convinced to leave her? No, my Amelia, he is the only man on earth who could have persuaded me; but I know his home, his wealth, and his protection will all be at your disposal. And as for any dislike you might have developed for his wife, don’t let that hold you back; I’m sure he won’t allow her to mistreat you. Besides, she’s very well-mannered, and no matter how much she may secretly dislike you, she will at least treat you politely.”

“Nay, the invitation is not his, but hers; and I am convinced they will both behave to you with the greatest friendship; his I am sure will be sincere, as to the wife of a friend entrusted to his care; and hers will, from good-breeding, have not only the appearances but the effects of the truest friendship.”

“Actually, the invitation is not from him, but from her; and I'm sure they will both treat you with the utmost friendliness; his will definitely be genuine, as to the wife of a friend he’s responsible for; and hers will, out of good manners, not only look like true friendship but also have the effects of it.”

“I understand you, my dear, at last,” said she (indeed she had rambled into very strange conceits from some parts of his discourse); “and I will give you my resolution in a word—I will do the duty of a wife, and that is, to attend her husband wherever he goes.”

“I finally understand you, my dear,” she said (though she had wandered into some pretty strange ideas from parts of his conversation); “and I’ll give you my decision in a nutshell—I will fulfill the role of a wife, which means I’ll be by my husband’s side no matter where he goes.”

Booth attempted to reason with her, but all to no purpose. She gave, indeed, a quiet hearing to all he said, and even to those parts which most displeased her ears; I mean those in which he exaggerated the great goodness and disinterested generosity of his friend; but her resolution remained inflexible, and resisted the force of all his arguments with a steadiness of opposition, which it would have been almost excusable in him to have construed into stubbornness.

Booth tried to reason with her, but it was all in vain. She did listen quietly to everything he said, even to the parts that annoyed her the most—specifically, the ones where he overstated the kindness and selflessness of his friend. Still, her determination stayed unshakeable, and she countered all his arguments with such firm resistance that he could have almost rightly seen it as stubbornness.

The doctor arrived in the midst of the dispute; and, having heard the merits of the cause on both sides, delivered his opinion in the following words.

The doctor showed up right in the middle of the argument; and after hearing the points from both sides, he gave his opinion in these words.

“I have always thought it, my dear children, a matter of the utmost nicety to interfere in any differences between husband and wife; but, since you both desire me with such earnestness to give you my sentiments on the present contest between you, I will give you my thoughts as well as I am able. In the first place then, can anything be more reasonable than for a wife to desire to attend her husband? It is, as my favourite child observes, no more than a desire to do her duty; and I make no doubt but that is one great reason of her insisting on it. And how can you yourself oppose it? Can love be its own enemy? or can a husband who is fond of his wife, content himself almost on any account with a long absence from her?”

“I’ve always thought, my dear children, that it’s a delicate matter to get involved in any disagreements between a husband and wife. However, since both of you are so eager for my thoughts on the current issue between you, I’ll share my perspective as best as I can. First of all, is there anything more reasonable than for a wife to want to be with her husband? It’s simply a desire to fulfill her duty, as my favorite child pointed out, and I’m sure that’s a big part of why she insists on it. And how can you possibly be against it? Can love really be its own enemy? How can a husband who loves his wife be okay with being apart from her for any length of time?”

“You speak like an angel, my dear Doctor Harrison,” answered Amelia: “I am sure, if he loved as tenderly as I do, he could on no account submit to it.”

“You speak like an angel, my dear Doctor Harrison,” Amelia replied. “I’m sure if he loved as deeply as I do, he wouldn’t be able to tolerate it at all.”

“Pardon me, child,” cries the doctor; “there are some reasons which would not only justify his leaving you, but which must force him, if he hath any real love for you, joined with common sense, to make that election. If it was necessary, for instance, either to your good or to the good of your children, he would not deserve the name of a man, I am sure not that of a husband, if he hesitated a moment. Nay, in that case, I am convinced you yourself would be an advocate for what you now oppose. I fancy therefore I mistook him when I apprehended he said that the colonel made his leaving you behind as the condition of getting him the commission; for I know my dear child hath too much goodness, and too much sense, and too much resolution, to prefer any temporary indulgence of her own passions to the solid advantages of her whole family.”

“Excuse me, child,” the doctor exclaims; “there are reasons that not only justify his leaving you but also compel him, if he truly loves you and has any common sense, to make that choice. For example, if it was necessary for either your well-being or the well-being of your children, he wouldn’t deserve to be called a man, and certainly not a husband, if he hesitated for even a moment. In that case, I believe you would actually support what you’re currently opposing. So, I think I misunderstood him when I thought he said that the colonel leaving you behind was a condition for getting the commission; because I know my dear child has too much goodness, too much sense, and too much determination to choose her own temporary desires over the lasting benefits for her entire family.”

“There, my dear!” cries Booth; “I knew what opinion the doctor would be of. Nay, I am certain there is not a wise man in the kingdom who would say otherwise.”

“There, my dear!” Booth exclaims; “I knew what the doctor would think. In fact, I'm sure there isn't a smart person in the kingdom who would disagree.”

“Don’t abuse me, young gentleman,” said the doctor, “with appellations I don’t deserve.”

“Don’t insult me, young man,” said the doctor, “with names I don’t deserve.”

“I abuse you, my dear doctor!” cries Booth.

“I mistreat you, my dear doctor!” cries Booth.

“Yes, my dear sir,” answered the doctor; “you insinuated slily that I was wise, which, as the world understands the phrase, I should be ashamed of; and my comfort is that no one can accuse me justly of it. I have just given an instance of the contrary by throwing away my advice.”

“Yes, my dear sir,” replied the doctor; “you subtly suggested that I was wise, which, as society interprets the term, I would be embarrassed about; and my comfort comes from the fact that no one can rightly accuse me of that. I’ve just shown the opposite by ignoring my own advice.”

“I hope, sir,” cries Booth, “that will not be the case.”

“I hope, sir,” Booth exclaims, “that won't be the case.”

“Yes, sir,” answered the doctor. “I know it will be the case in the present instance, for either you will not go at all, or my little turtle here will go with you.”

“Yes, sir,” replied the doctor. “I know that’s how it’s going to be this time, because either you won’t go at all, or my little turtle here will go with you.”

“You are in the right, doctor,” cries Amelia.

"You're right, doc," Amelia exclaims.

“I am sorry for it,” said the doctor, “for then I assure you you are in the wrong.”

“I’m sorry about that,” said the doctor, “but I can assure you, you’re mistaken.”

“Indeed,” cries Amelia, “if you knew all my reasons you would say they were very strong ones.”

“Definitely,” Amelia exclaims, “if you knew all my reasons, you would say they were very convincing.”

“Very probably,” cries the doctor. “The knowledge that they are in the wrong is a very strong reason to some women to continue so.”

“Very likely,” the doctor exclaims. “The awareness that they are in the wrong is a strong motivation for some women to keep going like this.”

“Nay, doctor,” cries Amelia, “you shall never persuade me of that. I will not believe that any human being ever did an action merely because they knew it to be wrong.”

“Nah, doctor,” Amelia exclaims, “you’ll never convince me of that. I won’t believe that any person ever did something just because they knew it was wrong.”

“I am obliged to you, my dear child,” said the doctor, “for declaring your resolution of not being persuaded. Your husband would never call me a wise man again if, after that declaration, I should attempt to persuade you.”

“I’m grateful to you, my dear child,” said the doctor, “for making it clear that you won’t be persuaded. Your husband would never consider me a wise man again if I tried to persuade you after that.”

“Well, I must be content,” cries Amelia, “to let you think as you please.”

“Well, I guess I have to be okay with it,” Amelia says, “and let you think whatever you want.”

“That is very gracious, indeed,” said the doctor. “Surely, in a country where the church suffers others to think as they please, it would be very hard if they had not themselves the same liberty. And yet, as unreasonable as the power of controuling men’s thoughts is represented, I will shew you how you shall controul mine whenever you desire it.”

“That's very kind of you,” said the doctor. “Surely, in a country where the church allows people to think as they wish, it would be quite unfair if they didn't have the same freedom themselves. And yet, as unreasonable as the power to control people's thoughts seems, I will show you how you can control mine whenever you want.”

“How, pray?” cries Amelia. “I should greatly esteem that power.”

“How, please?” cries Amelia. “I would really value that ability.”

“Why, whenever you act like a wise woman,” cries the doctor, “you will force me to think you so: and, whenever you are pleased to act as you do now, I shall be obliged, whether I will or no, to think as I do now.”

“Why, whenever you act like a smart woman,” the doctor exclaims, “you make me have to think you are one: and whenever you choose to act like you are right now, I’ll have to think the way I do now, whether I want to or not.”

“Nay, dear doctor,” cries Booth, “I am convinced my Amelia will never do anything to forfeit your good opinion. Consider but the cruel hardship of what she is to undergo, and you will make allowances for the difficulty she makes in complying. To say the truth, when I examine my own heart, I have more obligations to her than appear at first sight; for, by obliging me to find arguments to persuade her, she hath assisted me in conquering myself. Indeed, if she had shewn more resolution, I should have shewn less.”

“Please, dear doctor,” Booth exclaims, “I truly believe my Amelia will never do anything to lose your good opinion. Just think about the tough situation she’s facing, and you’ll understand why it’s hard for her to comply. Honestly, when I look deep into my own feelings, I realize I owe her more than it seems at first; by making me come up with reasons to convince her, she has helped me overcome my own struggles. In fact, if she had been more determined, I would have been less so.”

“So you think it necessary, then,” said the doctor, “that there should be one fool at least in every married couple. A mighty resolution, truly! and well worth your valuing yourself upon, to part with your wife for a few months in order to make the fortune of her and your children; when you are to leave her, too, in the care and protection of a friend that gives credit to the old stories of friendship, and doth an honour to human nature. What, in the name of goodness! do either of you think that you have made an union to endure for ever? How will either of you bear that separation which must, some time or other, and perhaps very soon, be the lot of one of you? Have you forgot that you are both mortal? As for Christianity, I see you have resigned all pretensions to it; for I make no doubt but that you have so set your hearts on the happiness you enjoy here together, that neither of you ever think a word of hereafter.”

“So you think it’s necessary, then,” said the doctor, “that there should be at least one fool in every married couple. What a bold decision, truly! And how impressive for you to take pride in leaving your wife for a few months to secure a future for her and your children; especially when you’re leaving her in the care of a friend who believes in the old tales of friendship and brings honor to humanity. What, for goodness’ sake! do either of you really believe that you’ve created a bond that will last forever? How will either of you handle the separation that will inevitably come, perhaps very soon, for one of you? Have you forgotten that you’re both mortal? As for Christianity, I see you’ve given up any pretense of it; I’m sure you’ve focused so much on the happiness you have here together that neither of you ever thinks about what comes next.”

Amelia now burst into tears; upon which Booth begged the doctor to proceed no farther. Indeed, he would not have wanted the caution; for, however blunt he appeared in his discourse, he had a tenderness of heart which is rarely found among men; for which I know no other reason than that true goodness is rarely found among them; for I am firmly persuaded that the latter never possessed any human mind in any degree, without being attended by as large a portion of the former.

Amelia suddenly broke down in tears, prompting Booth to urge the doctor to stop. In truth, he wouldn’t have needed to be cautious, because despite his straightforward manner of speaking, he had a sensitivity that is rarely seen in men. I can’t think of any other reason for this than that true goodness is uncommon among them. I’m convinced that genuine goodness has never existed in any human mind without being accompanied by a significant amount of that sensitivity.

Thus ended the conversation on this subject; what followed is not worth relating, till the doctor carried off Booth with him to take a walk in the Park.

Thus ended the conversation on this subject; what happened next isn't worth mentioning until the doctor took Booth with him for a walk in the Park.










Chapter v. — A conversation between Amelia and Dr Harrison, with the result.

Amelia, being left alone, began to consider seriously of her condition; she saw it would be very difficult to resist the importunities of her husband, backed by the authority of the doctor, especially as she well knew how unreasonable her declarations must appear to every one who was ignorant of her real motives to persevere in it. On the other hand, she was fully determined, whatever might be the consequence, to adhere firmly to her resolution of not accepting the colonel’s invitation.

Amelia, left alone, began to seriously think about her situation; she realized it would be tough to resist her husband's pressure, especially with the doctor's backing, knowing how unreasonable her reasons would seem to anyone unaware of her true motives to stick to her decision. On the other hand, she was completely determined, no matter the outcome, to firmly hold on to her choice of not accepting the colonel’s invitation.

When she had turned the matter every way in her mind, and vexed and tormented herself with much uneasy reflexion upon it, a thought at last occurred to her which immediately brought her some comfort. This was, to make a confidant of the doctor, and to impart to him the whole truth. This method, indeed, appeared to her now to be so adviseable, that she wondered she had not hit upon it sooner; but it is the nature of despair to blind us to all the means of safety, however easy and apparent they may be.

When she had thought about the situation from every angle and tortured herself with a lot of anxious reflections on it, a thought finally came to her that brought her some relief. This was to confide in the doctor and tell him the whole truth. This approach now seemed so sensible that she wondered why she hadn't thought of it earlier; but despair has a way of blinding us to all the easy and obvious solutions for safety.

Having fixed her purpose in her mind, she wrote a short note to the doctor, in which she acquainted him that she had something of great moment to impart to him, which must be an entire secret from her husband, and begged that she might have an opportunity of communicating it as soon as possible.

Having made up her mind, she wrote a brief note to the doctor, telling him that she had something very important to share with him, which needed to be kept completely secret from her husband, and requested to meet with him as soon as possible.

Doctor Harrison received the letter that afternoon, and immediately complied with Amelia’s request in visiting her. He found her drinking tea with her husband and Mrs. Atkinson, and sat down and joined the company.

Doctor Harrison got the letter that afternoon and immediately followed Amelia's request to visit her. He found her having tea with her husband and Mrs. Atkinson, so he sat down and joined them.

Soon after the removal of the tea-table Mrs. Atkinson left the room.

Soon after the tea table was taken away, Mrs. Atkinson left the room.

The doctor then, turning to Booth, said, “I hope, captain, you have a true sense of the obedience due to the church, though our clergy do not often exact it. However, it is proper to exercise our power sometimes, in order to remind the laity of their duty. I must tell you, therefore, that I have some private business with your wife; and I expect your immediate absence.”

The doctor then turned to Booth and said, “I hope, Captain, you understand the importance of respecting the church, even if our clergy don’t always enforce it. Still, it’s necessary to assert our authority now and then to remind the laity of their responsibilities. Therefore, I need to let you know that I have some private matters to discuss with your wife, and I expect you to leave immediately.”

“Upon my word, doctor,” answered Booth, “no Popish confessor, I firmly believe, ever pronounced his will and pleasure with more gravity and dignity; none therefore was ever more immediately obeyed than you shall be.” Booth then quitted the room, and desired the doctor to recall him when his business with the lady was over.

“Honestly, doctor,” Booth replied, “I truly believe that no Catholic confessor has ever stated his wishes with more seriousness and authority; therefore, no one has ever been obeyed as you will be.” Booth then left the room and asked the doctor to call him back when he was done with the lady.

Doctor Harrison promised he would; and then turning to Amelia he said, “Thus far, madam, I have obeyed your commands, and am now ready to receive the important secret which you mention in your note.” Amelia now informed her friend of all she knew, all she had seen and heard, and all that she suspected, of the colonel. The good man seemed greatly shocked at the relation, and remained in a silent astonishment. Upon which Amelia said, “Is villany so rare a thing, sir, that it should so much surprize you?” “No, child,” cries he; “but I am shocked at seeing it so artfully disguised under the appearance of so much virtue; and, to confess the truth, I believe my own vanity is a little hurt in having been so grossly imposed upon. Indeed, I had a very high regard for this man; for, besides the great character given him by your husband, and the many facts I have heard so much redounding to his honour, he hath the fairest and most promising appearance I have ever yet beheld. A good face, they say, is a letter of recommendation. O Nature, Nature, why art thou so dishonest as ever to send men with these false recommendations into the world?”

Doctor Harrison promised he would; and then turning to Amelia he said, “So far, madam, I have followed your instructions, and I’m now ready to hear the important secret you mentioned in your note.” Amelia then told her friend everything she knew, everything she had seen and heard, and everything she suspected about the colonel. The good man appeared greatly shocked by what he heard and remained in silent disbelief. To which Amelia said, “Is deceit really so uncommon, sir, that it surprises you this much?” “No, dear,” he replied; “but I’m shocked to see it so cleverly hidden behind such a façade of virtue; and to be honest, my own pride is a bit hurt for being so easily fooled. Honestly, I had a very high regard for this man; besides the great reputation your husband gave him and all the many facts I’ve heard that glorified him, he has the fairest and most promising appearance I’ve ever seen. They say a good face is a recommendation letter. Oh Nature, Nature, why are you so deceitful as to send men into the world with these false recommendations?”

“Indeed, my dear sir, I begin to grow entirely sick of it,” cries Amelia, “for sure all mankind almost are villains in their hearts.”

“Honestly, my dear sir, I’m starting to get completely fed up with it,” Amelia exclaims, “because it seems like almost everyone is a villain at heart.”

“Fie, child!” cries the doctor. “Do not make a conclusion so much to the dishonour of the great Creator. The nature of man is far from being in itself evil: it abounds with benevolence, charity, and pity, coveting praise and honour, and shunning shame and disgrace. Bad education, bad habits, and bad customs, debauch our nature, and drive it headlong as it were into vice. The governors of the world, and I am afraid the priesthood, are answerable for the badness of it. Instead of discouraging wickedness to the utmost of their power, both are too apt to connive at it. In the great sin of adultery, for instance; hath the government provided any law to punish it? or doth the priest take any care to correct it? on the contrary, is the most notorious practice of it any detriment to a man’s fortune or to his reputation in the world? doth it exclude him from any preferment in the state, I had almost said in the church? is it any blot in his escutcheon? any bar to his honour? is he not to be found every day in the assemblies of women of the highest quality? in the closets of the greatest men, and even at the tables of bishops? What wonder then if the community in general treat this monstrous crime as a matter of jest, and that men give way to the temptations of a violent appetite, when the indulgence of it is protected by law and countenanced by custom? I am convinced there are good stamina in the nature of this very man; for he hath done acts of friendship and generosity to your husband before he could have any evil design on your chastity; and in a Christian society, which I no more esteem this nation to be than I do any part of Turkey, I doubt not but this very colonel would have made a worthy and valuable member.”

“Come on, kid!” the doctor exclaims. “Don’t jump to a conclusion that’s so disrespectful to the great Creator. Human nature isn’t evil by itself; it’s filled with kindness, charity, and compassion, seeking praise and respect, while trying to avoid shame and disgrace. Poor education, bad habits, and negative customs corrupt our nature and push it towards vice. Those in power, and I’m afraid the clergy, are responsible for this corruption. Instead of doing everything they can to discourage wickedness, both tend to turn a blind eye to it. Take the serious sin of adultery, for example; has the government created any law to punish it? Does the priest make any effort to correct it? On the contrary, does the common practice of it harm a man’s wealth or reputation in the world? Does it prevent him from getting promoted in the government, or even in the church? Is it a stain on his family name? A hindrance to his honor? Isn’t he regularly seen among women of the highest status? In the company of powerful men, and even at the tables of bishops? No wonder then that society treats this terrible crime as a joke, and that men give in to their strong desires when indulging in it is protected by law and accepted by custom. I’m convinced there’s goodness in the nature of this very man; he has shown friendship and generosity to your husband before he could have any bad intentions towards your virtue; and in a Christian society, which I certainly don’t consider this nation to be any more than I do a part of Turkey, I have no doubt that this very colonel would have made a worthy and valuable member.”

“Indeed, my dear sir,” cries Amelia, “you are the wisest as well as best man in the world—”

“Really, my dear sir,” exclaims Amelia, “you are the wisest and kindest man in the world—”

“Not a word of my wisdom,” cries the doctor. “I have not a grain—I am not the least versed in the Chrematistic {Footnote: The art of getting wealth is so called by Aristotle in his Politics.} art, as an old friend of mine calls it. I know not how to get a shilling, nor how to keep it in my pocket if I had it.”

“Not a word of my wisdom,” the doctor shouts. “I don’t have a clue—I’m not at all familiar with the art of making money, as an old friend of mine puts it. I don’t know how to earn a single penny, nor how to hold onto it if I had one.”

“But you understand human nature to the bottom,” answered Amelia; “and your mind is the treasury of all ancient and modern learning.”

“But you really get human nature completely,” Amelia replied, “and your mind is a treasure trove of all the ancient and modern knowledge.”

“You are a little flatterer,” cries the doctor; “but I dislike you not for it. And, to shew you I don’t, I will return your flattery, and tell you you have acted with great prudence in concealing this affair from your husband; but you have drawn me into a scrape; for I have promised to dine with this fellow again to-morrow, and you have made it impossible for me to keep my word.”

“You’re quite the flatterer,” the doctor exclaims; “but I can’t say I dislike you for it. To prove that, I’ll return the compliment and say you’ve been very smart in keeping this situation from your husband; however, you’ve gotten me into a tough spot because I’ve promised to have dinner with this guy again tomorrow, and now it’s impossible for me to keep my promise.”

“Nay, but, dear sir,” cries Amelia, “for Heaven’s sake take care! If you shew any kind of disrespect to the colonel, my husband may be led into some suspicion—especially after our conference.”

“Nay, but, dear sir,” Amelia cries, “for Heaven’s sake, please be careful! If you show any disrespect to the colonel, my husband might start to suspect something—especially after our conversation.”

“Fear nothing, child. I will give him no hint; and, that I may be certain of not doing it, I will stay away. You do not think, I hope, that I will join in a chearful conversation with such a man; that I will so far betray my character as to give any countenance to such flagitious proceedings. Besides, my promise was only conditional; and I do not know whether I could otherwise have kept it; for I expect an old friend every day who comes to town twenty miles on foot to see me, whom I shall not part with on any account; for, as he is very poor, he may imagine I treat him with disrespect.”

“Don’t worry, kid. I won’t give him any clues; and to make sure I don’t, I’ll keep my distance. I hope you don’t think I would happily chat with someone like him or compromise my character by supporting such awful actions. Besides, my promise was only under certain conditions; and I’m not sure I could have kept it otherwise, because I’m expecting an old friend any day now who walks twenty miles to see me, and I won’t let him go for anything; since he’s very poor, he might think I’m treating him poorly.”

“Well, sir,” cries Amelia, “I must admire you and love you for your goodness.”

“Well, sir,” Amelia exclaims, “I really admire you and love you for your kindness.”

“Must you love me?” cries the doctor. “I could cure you now in a minute if I pleased.”

“Do you really have to love me?” the doctor exclaims. “I could fix you up right now in just a minute if I wanted to.”

“Indeed, I defy you, sir,” said Amelia.

“Actually, I challenge you, sir,” said Amelia.

“If I could but persuade you,” answered he, “that I thought you not handsome, away would vanish all ideas of goodness in an instant. Confess honestly, would they not?”

“If I could just convince you,” he replied, “that I didn’t think you were attractive, all thoughts of goodness would disappear in an instant. Be honest, wouldn’t they?”

“Perhaps I might blame the goodness of your eyes,” replied Amelia; “and that is perhaps an honester confession than you expected. But do, pray, sir, be serious, and give me your advice what to do. Consider the difficult game I have to play; for I am sure, after what I have told you, you would not even suffer me to remain under the roof of this colonel.”

“Maybe I should blame the kindness in your eyes,” replied Amelia; “and that’s probably a more honest confession than you expected. But please, sir, be serious and tell me what to do. Think about the tricky situation I’m in; I’m sure, after what I’ve shared with you, you wouldn’t let me stay under this colonel’s roof.”

“No, indeed, would I not,” said the doctor, “whilst I have a house of my own to entertain you.”

“No way, I wouldn’t,” said the doctor, “while I have my own place to host you.”

“But how to dissuade my husband,” continued she, “without giving him any suspicion of the real cause, the consequences of his guessing at which I tremble to think upon.”

“But how do I convince my husband,” she continued, “without raising any suspicion about the real reason, the thought of which gives me chills.”

“I will consult my pillow upon it,” said the doctor; “and in the morning you shall see me again. In the mean time be comforted, and compose the perturbations of your mind.”

“I'll think it over,” said the doctor, “and you'll see me again in the morning. In the meantime, try to relax and calm your racing thoughts.”

“Well, sir,” said she, “I put my whole trust in you.”

“Well, sir,” she said, “I completely trust you.”

“I am sorry to hear it,” cries the doctor. “Your innocence may give you a very confident trust in a much more powerful assistance. However, I will do all I can to serve you: and now, if you please, we will call back your husband; for, upon my word, he hath shewn a good catholic patience. And where is the honest serjeant and his wife? I am pleased with the behaviour of you both to that worthy fellow, in opposition to the custom of the world; which, instead of being formed on the precepts of our religion to consider each other as brethren, teaches us to regard those who are a degree below us, either in rank or fortune, as a species of beings of an inferior order in the creation.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” says the doctor. “Your innocence might make you confidently trust in a much more powerful help. But I will do everything I can to assist you: and now, if you don’t mind, let’s call back your husband; because honestly, he has shown remarkable patience. And where are the honest sergeant and his wife? I admire how you both treated that good man, which goes against the way the world usually operates; instead of following the principles of our faith that urge us to see each other as equals, it teaches us to view those who are a bit lower than us in status or wealth as lesser beings in creation.”

The captain now returned into the room, as did the serjeant and Mrs. Atkinson; and the two couple, with the doctor, spent the evening together in great mirth and festivity; for the doctor was one of the best companions in the world, and a vein of chearfulness, good humour, and pleasantry, ran through his conversation, with which it was impossible to resist being pleased.

The captain walked back into the room, along with the serjeant and Mrs. Atkinson; and the two couples, with the doctor, enjoyed the evening together with lots of laughter and fun. The doctor was one of the best companions around, and his cheerful and humorous conversation was so delightful that it was impossible not to enjoy it.










Chapter vi. — Containing as surprizing an accident as is perhaps recorded in history.

Booth had acquainted the serjeant with the great goodness of Colonel James, and with the chearful prospects which he entertained from it. This Atkinson, behind the curtain, communicated to his wife. The conclusion which she drew from it need scarce be hinted to the reader. She made, indeed, no scruple of plainly and bluntly telling her husband that the colonel had a most manifest intention to attack the chastity of Amelia.

Booth had informed the sergeant about Colonel James's great kindness and the positive outlook he had because of it. Atkinson, who was behind the curtain, shared this with his wife. The conclusion she came to hardly needs to be mentioned. She didn't hesitate to directly tell her husband that the colonel clearly intended to assault Amelia's virtue.

This thought gave the poor serjeant great uneasiness, and, after having kept him long awake, tormented him in his sleep with a most horrid dream, in which he imagined that he saw the colonel standing by the bedside of Amelia, with a naked sword in his hand, and threatening to stab her instantly unless she complied with his desires. Upon this the serjeant started up in his bed, and, catching his wife by the throat, cried out, “D—n you, put up your sword this instant, and leave the room, or by Heaven I’ll drive mine to your heart’s blood!”

This thought caused the poor sergeant a lot of anxiety, and after keeping him awake for a long time, it tormented him in his sleep with a terrible nightmare. In it, he imagined seeing the colonel standing by Amelia's bedside, holding a naked sword and threatening to stab her right away unless she gave in to his demands. The sergeant suddenly jumped up in bed, grabbed his wife by the throat, and shouted, “Damn you, put away your sword right now and leave the room, or I swear I’ll drive mine into your heart!”

This rough treatment immediately roused Mrs. Atkinson from her sleep, who no sooner perceived the position of her husband, and felt his hand grasping her throat, than she gave a violent shriek and presently fell into a fit.

This rough treatment immediately woke Mrs. Atkinson from her sleep. As soon as she realized her husband's position and felt his hand gripping her throat, she let out a loud scream and soon fell into a fit.

Atkinson now waked likewise, and soon became sensible of the violent agitations of his wife. He immediately leapt out of bed, and running for a bottle of water, began to sprinkle her very plentifully; but all to no purpose: she neither spoke nor gave any symptoms of recovery Atkinson then began to roar aloud; upon which Booth, who lay under him, jumped from his bed, and ran up with the lighted candle in his hand. The serjeant had no sooner taken the candle than he ran with it to the bed-side. Here he beheld a sight which almost deprived him of his senses. The bed appeared to be all over blood, and his wife weltering in the midst of it. Upon this the serjeant, almost in a frenzy, cried out, “O Heavens! I have killed my wife. I have stabbed her! I have stabbed her!” “What can be the meaning of all this?” said Booth. “O, sir!” cries the serjeant, “I dreamt I was rescuing your lady from the hands of Colonel James, and I have killed my poor wife.”—Here he threw himself upon the bed by her, caught her in his arms, and behaved like one frantic with despair.

Atkinson woke up too and quickly noticed his wife's violent movements. He jumped out of bed, grabbed a bottle of water, and started sprinkling her with it, but it didn't help at all; she didn’t say anything or show any signs of getting better. Atkinson then started shouting loudly, which made Booth, who was lying underneath him, jump out of bed and rush in with a lit candle. As soon as the sergeant took the candle, he ran to the bedside. There, he saw a sight that almost drove him crazy. The bed was covered in blood, and his wife was lying in the middle of it. In a frenzy, the sergeant shouted, “Oh my God! I’ve killed my wife. I stabbed her! I stabbed her!” “What could this all mean?” Booth asked. “Oh, sir!” the sergeant exclaimed, “I dreamed I was saving your lady from Colonel James, and I’ve killed my poor wife.” With that, he threw himself onto the bed beside her, held her in his arms, and acted as if he were completely overwhelmed with despair.

By this time Amelia had thrown on a wrapping-gown, and was come up into the room, where the serjeant and his wife were lying on the bed and Booth standing like a motionless statue by the bed-side. Amelia had some difficulty to conquer the effects of her own surprize on this occasion; for a more ghastly and horrible sight than the bed presented could not be conceived.

By this time, Amelia had put on a robe and came into the room, where the sergeant and his wife were lying on the bed, and Booth stood like a statue by the bedside. Amelia found it hard to overcome her own shock in this situation, as the sight on the bed was more ghastly and horrifying than anyone could imagine.

Amelia sent Booth to call up the maid of the house, in order to lend her assistance; but before his return Mrs. Atkinson began to come to herself; and soon after, to the inexpressible joy of the serjeant, it was discovered she had no wound. Indeed, the delicate nose of Amelia soon made that discovery, which the grosser smell of the serjeant, and perhaps his fright, had prevented him from making; for now it appeared that the red liquor with which the bed was stained, though it may, perhaps, sometimes run through the veins of a fine lady, was not what is properly called blood, but was, indeed, no other than cherry-brandy, a bottle of which Mrs. Atkinson always kept in her room to be ready for immediate use, and to which she used to apply for comfort in all her afflictions. This the poor serjeant, in his extreme hurry, had mistaken for a bottle of water. Matters were now soon accommodated, and no other mischief appeared to be done, unless to the bed-cloaths. Amelia and Booth returned back to their room, and Mrs. Atkinson rose from her bed in order to equip it with a pair of clean sheets.

Amelia sent Booth to summon the maid of the house for help, but before he got back, Mrs. Atkinson started to regain consciousness. To the unbelievable relief of the sergeant, it was soon discovered she had no injury. In fact, Amelia's keen sense of smell quickly revealed the truth that the sergeant, perhaps due to his own panic, had missed: the red liquid staining the bed wasn't actually blood, but just cherry brandy. Mrs. Atkinson always kept a bottle in her room for immediate comfort during tough times. In his rush, the poor sergeant had mistaken it for a bottle of water. Everything was settled quickly, and no other harm seemed to have been done, except to the bed linens. Amelia and Booth went back to their room while Mrs. Atkinson got out of bed to change it with a fresh pair of sheets.

And thus this adventure would have ended without producing any kind of consequence, had not the words which the serjeant uttered in his frenzy made some slight impression on Booth; so much, at least, as to awaken his curiosity; so that in the morning when he arose he sent for the serjeant, and desired to hear the particulars of this dream, since Amelia was concerned in it.

And so this adventure would have wrapped up without any real outcome, if not for the words the sergeant shouted in his frenzy, which made a small impact on Booth; enough to spark his curiosity. So in the morning, when he got up, he called for the sergeant and asked to hear the details of this dream, since Amelia was involved.

The serjeant at first seemed unwilling to comply, and endeavoured to make excuses. This, perhaps, encreased Booth’s curiosity, and he said, “Nay, I am resolved to hear it. Why, you simpleton, do you imagine me weak enough to be affected by a dream, however terrible it may be?”

The sergeant initially appeared reluctant to comply and tried to make excuses. This, perhaps, piqued Booth's curiosity, and he said, “No, I’m determined to hear it. Why, you fool, do you think I'm weak enough to be affected by a dream, no matter how terrifying it might be?”

“Nay, sir,” cries the serjeant, “as for that matter, dreams have sometimes fallen out to be true. One of my own, I know, did so, concerning your honour; for, when you courted my young lady, I dreamt you was married to her; and yet it was at a time when neither I myself, nor any of the country, thought you would ever obtain her. But Heaven forbid this dream should ever come to pass!” “Why, what was this dream?” cries Booth. “I insist on knowing.”

“Nah, sir,” the sergeant exclaims, “actually, dreams sometimes turn out to be true. I know of one of mine that did, concerning your honor; because when you were pursuing my young lady, I dreamed you were married to her. And yet, that was a time when neither I nor anyone in the area thought you would ever get her. But heaven forbid that this dream ever happens!” “What was this dream?” Booth demands. “I need to know.”

“To be sure, sir,” cries the serjeant, “I must not refuse you; but I hope you will never think any more of it. Why then, sir, I dreamt that your honour was gone to the West Indies, and had left my lady in the care of Colonel James; and last night I dreamt the colonel came to my lady’s bed-side, offering to ravish her, and with a drawn sword in his hand, threatening to stab her that moment unless she would comply with his desires. How I came to be by I know not; but I dreamt I rushed upon him, caught him by the throat, and swore I would put him to death unless he instantly left the room. Here I waked, and this was my dream. I never paid any regard to a dream in my life—but, indeed, I never dreamt anything so very plain as this. It appeared downright reality. I am sure I have left the marks of my fingers in my wife’s throat. I would riot have taken a hundred pound to have used her so.”

"To be honest, sir," the sergeant exclaims, "I can't refuse you; but I hope you won't think about it anymore. So, sir, I had a dream that you went to the West Indies and left my lady in Colonel James's care; and last night I dreamt the colonel came to my lady’s bedside, trying to force himself on her, with a drawn sword in his hand, threatening to stab her right then if she didn’t give in to his demands. I don't know how I ended up there, but I dreamt I charged at him, grabbed him by the throat, and vowed to kill him unless he left the room immediately. That’s when I woke up, and that was my dream. I’ve never paid any attention to dreams in my life—but honestly, I’ve never had a dream as clear as this one. It felt completely real. I’m sure I left marks on my wife’s throat. I wouldn't have taken a hundred pounds to treat her like that."

“Faith,” cries Booth, “it was an odd dream, and not so easily to be accounted for as that you had formerly of my marriage; for, as Shakespear says, dreams denote a foregone conclusion. Now it is impossible you should ever have thought of any such matter as this.”

“Faith,” Booth exclaims, “that was a strange dream, and it’s not as easy to explain as the one you had earlier about my marriage; because, as Shakespeare says, dreams indicate a predetermined outcome. Now, it’s impossible that you could have thought of anything like this.”

“However, sir,” cries the serjeant, “it is in your honour’s power to prevent any possibility of this dream’s coming to pass, by not leaving my lady to the care of the colonel; if you must go from her, certainly there are other places where she may be with great safety; and, since my wife tells me that my lady is so very unwilling, whatever reasons she may have, I hope your honour will oblige her.”

“However, sir,” the sergeant exclaims, “it’s in your power to prevent any chance of this dream happening by not leaving my lady in the colonel’s care. If you have to leave her, there are definitely safer places she could be. And since my wife told me that my lady is very reluctant, for whatever reasons she may have, I hope you will accommodate her.”

“Now I recollect it,” cries Booth, “Mrs. Atkinson hath once or twice dropt some disrespectful words of the colonel. He hath done something to disoblige her.”

“Now I remember,” Booth exclaims, “Mrs. Atkinson has, once or twice, said some disrespectful things about the colonel. He must have done something to upset her.”

“He hath indeed, sir,” replied the serjeant: “he hath said that of her which she doth not deserve, and for which, if he had not been my superior officer, I would have cut both his ears off. Nay, for that matter, he can speak ill of other people besides her.”

“He has indeed, sir,” replied the sergeant: “he has said things about her that she doesn’t deserve, and if he hadn’t been my superior officer, I would have cut both his ears off. Besides that, he can talk badly about other people too.”

“Do you know, Atkinson,” cries Booth, very gravely, “that you are talking of the dearest friend I have?”

“Do you know, Atkinson,” Booth exclaims seriously, “that you’re talking about my closest friend?”

“To be honest then,” answered the serjeant, “I do not think so. If I did, I should love him much better than I do.”

“Honestly,” replied the sergeant, “I don’t think so. If I did, I would like him a lot more than I do.”

“I must and will have this explained,” cries Booth. “I have too good an opinion of you, Atkinson, to think you would drop such things as you have without some reason—and I will know it.”

“I have to get this explained,” Booth exclaims. “I think too highly of you, Atkinson, to believe you would let go of things like you have without a good reason—and I want to know what it is.”

“I am sorry I have dropt a word,” cries Atkinson. “I am sure I did not intend it; and your honour hath drawn it from me unawares.”

“I’m sorry I let a word slip,” Atkinson exclaims. “I definitely didn’t mean to; and your honor caught me off guard.”

“Indeed, Atkinson,” cries Booth, “you have made me very uneasy, and I must be satisfied.”

“Honestly, Atkinson,” Booth exclaims, “you’ve made me really uneasy, and I need some answers.”

“Then, sir,” said the serjeant, “you shall give me your word of honour, or I will be cut into ten thousand pieces before I will mention another syllable.”

“Then, sir,” said the sergeant, “you need to give me your word of honor, or I’ll be chopped into a thousand pieces before I say another word.”

“What shall I promise?” said Booth.

“What should I promise?” Booth asked.

“That you will not resent anything I shall lay to the colonel,” answered Atkinson.

“That you won’t be upset about anything I say regarding the colonel,” answered Atkinson.

“Resent!—Well, I give you my honour,” said Booth.

“Resent!—Well, I promise you,” said Booth.

The serjeant made him bind himself over and over again, and then related to him the scene which formerly past between the colonel and himself, as far as concerned Booth himself; but concealed all that more immediately related to Amelia.

The sergeant made him agree to it again and again, and then described to him the situation that had previously occurred between the colonel and himself, as far as it involved Booth; but he kept back everything that was more directly related to Amelia.

“Atkinson,” cries Booth, “I cannot be angry with you, for I know you love me, and I have many obligations to you; but you have done wrong in censuring the colonel for what he said of me. I deserve all that he said, and his censures proceeded from his friendship.”

“Atkinson,” Booth shouts, “I can't be mad at you because I know you love me, and I owe you a lot; but you were wrong to criticize the colonel for what he said about me. I deserve everything he said, and his comments came from a place of friendship.”

“But it was not so kind, sir,” said Atkinson, “to say such things to me who am but a serjeant, and at such a time too.”

“But it wasn't very nice, sir,” said Atkinson, “to say those things to me, who am just a sergeant, especially at a time like this.”

“I will hear no more,” cries Booth. “Be assured you are the only man I would forgive on this occasion; and I forgive you only on condition you never speak a word more of this nature. This silly dream hath intoxicated you.”

“I don’t want to hear any more,” Booth cries. “Just know that you’re the only person I would forgive in this situation; and I’ll only forgive you if you promise never to bring this up again. This ridiculous dream has gotten to your head.”

“I have done, sir,” cries the serjeant. “I know my distance, and whom I am to obey; but I have one favour to beg of your honour, never to mention a word of what I have said to my lady; for I know she never would forgive me; I know she never would, by what my wife hath told me. Besides, you need not mention it, sir, to my lady, for she knows it all already, and a great deal more.”

“I’ve done what you asked, sir,” the sergeant says. “I know my place and who I need to follow; but I have one favor to ask of you, please never mention what I’ve said to my lady. I know she would never forgive me; she wouldn’t, based on what my wife has told me. Plus, there’s no need to tell my lady, sir, because she already knows everything, and much more.”

Booth presently parted from the serjeant, having desired him to close his lips on this occasion, and repaired to his wife, to whom he related the serjeant’s dream.

Booth then left the sergeant, asking him to keep quiet about this for now, and went to his wife, to whom he told about the sergeant's dream.

Amelia turned as white as snow, and fell into so violent a trembling that Booth plainly perceived her emotion, and immediately partook of it himself. “Sure, my dear,” said he, staring wildly, “there is more in this than I know. A silly dream could not so discompose you. I beg you, I intreat you to tell me—hath ever Colonel James—”

Amelia turned as pale as a ghost and trembled so violently that Booth could clearly see her distress, and he immediately felt it too. “Sure, my dear,” he said, staring in shock, “there’s more to this than I understand. A silly dream wouldn’t shake you up like this. Please, I’m begging you to tell me—has Colonel James—”

At the very mention of the colonel’s name Amelia fell on her knees, and begged her husband not to frighten her.

At the very mention of the colonel’s name, Amelia dropped to her knees and pleaded with her husband not to scare her.

“What do I say, my dear love,” cried Booth, “that can frighten you?”

“What can I say, my dear love,” exclaimed Booth, “that would scare you?”

“Nothing, my dear,” said she; “but my spirits are so discomposed with the dreadful scene I saw last night, that a dream, which at another time I should have laughed at, hath shocked me. Do but promise me that you will not leave me behind you, and I am easy.”

“Nothing, my dear,” she said; “but my mood is so affected by the terrible scene I witnessed last night that a dream, which I would have found amusing at another time, has really unsettled me. Just promise me that you won’t leave me behind, and I’ll be fine.”

“You may be so,” cries Booth, “for I will never deny you anything. But make me easy too. I must know if you have seen anything in Colonel James to displease you.”

“You might be right,” Booth exclaims, “because I will never refuse you anything. But I need to feel good about this too. I have to know if you've seen something in Colonel James that bothers you.”

“Why should you suspect it?” cries Amelia.

“Why would you think that?” Amelia exclaims.

“You torment me to death,” cries Booth. “By Heavens! I will know the truth. Hath he ever said or done anything which you dislike?”

“You're driving me crazy,” Booth exclaims. “I swear! I need to know the truth. Has he ever said or done anything that bothers you?”

“How, my dear,” said Amelia, “can you imagine I should dislike a man who is so much your friend? Think of all the obligations you have to him, and then you may easily resolve yourself. Do you think, because I refuse to stay behind you in his house, that I have any objection to him? No, my dear, had he done a thousand times more than he hath—was he an angel instead of a man, I would not quit my Billy. There’s the sore, my dear—there’s the misery, to be left by you.”

“How, my dear,” Amelia said, “can you think I would dislike someone who is such a good friend of yours? Consider all the things you owe him, and you can easily figure it out. Do you think that just because I won’t stay behind in his house, I have any problem with him? No, my dear, even if he had done a thousand times more than he has—if he were an angel instead of just a man—I wouldn’t leave my Billy. That’s the real issue, my dear—that’s the pain of being apart from you.”

Booth embraced her with the most passionate raptures, and, looking on her with inexpressible tenderness, cried, “Upon my soul, I am not worthy of you: I am a fool, and yet you cannot blame me. If the stupid miser hoards, with such care, his worthless treasure—if he watches it with such anxiety—if every apprehension of another’s sharing the least part fills his soul with such agonies—O Amelia! what must be my condition, what terrors must I feel, while I am watching over a jewel of such real, such inestimable worth!”

Booth held her tightly with intense passion, looking at her with deep tenderness, and exclaimed, “Honestly, I don’t deserve you: I’m a fool, and you can’t really blame me for that. If a stingy miser guards his worthless treasure so carefully—if he obsesses over it with so much anxiety—if the thought of someone else getting even a tiny bit sends him into a panic—O Amelia! what must I feel, what kind of fears consume me, as I protect a jewel of such true, priceless value!”

“I can, with great truth, return the compliment,” cries Amelia. “I have my treasure too; and am so much a miser, that no force shall ever tear me from it.”

“I can honestly return the compliment,” Amelia exclaims. “I have my treasure too, and I’m such a hoarder that nothing will ever make me give it up.”

“I am ashamed of my folly,” cries Booth; “and yet it is all from extreme tenderness. Nay, you yourself are the occasion. Why will you ever attempt to keep a secret from me? Do you think I should have resented to my friend his just censure of my conduct?”

“I’m embarrassed by my foolishness,” Booth exclaims. “But it’s all out of being overly sensitive. In fact, you’re the reason for it. Why do you keep trying to hide things from me? Do you really think I would have taken offense at my friend’s fair criticism of my actions?”

“What censure, my dear love?” cries Amelia.

“What criticism, my dear love?” cries Amelia.

“Nay, the serjeant hath told me all,” cries Booth—“nay, and that he hath told it to you. Poor soul! thou couldst not endure to hear me accused, though never so justly, and by so good a friend. Indeed, my dear, I have discovered the cause of that resentment to the colonel which you could not hide from me. I love you, I adore you for it; indeed, I could not forgive a slighting word on you. But, why do I compare things so unlike?—what the colonel said of me was just and true; every reflexion on my Amelia must be false and villanous.”

“Nah, the sergeant has told me everything,” Booth exclaims. “And he’s even shared it with you. Poor thing! You couldn’t stand to hear me being accused, even if it was justified and from such a good friend. Honestly, my dear, I’ve figured out the reason for that resentment towards the colonel that you couldn’t hide from me. I love you; I adore you for it. I really couldn't forgive any rude remark about you. But why am I comparing such different things? What the colonel said about me was fair and true; any criticism of my Amelia must be false and wicked.”

The discernment of Amelia was extremely quick, and she now perceived what had happened, and how much her husband knew of the truth. She resolved therefore to humour him, and fell severely on Colonel James for what he had said to the serjeant, which Booth endeavoured all he could to soften; and thus ended this affair, which had brought Booth to the very brink of a discovery which must have given him the highest torment, if it had not produced any of those tragical effects which Amelia apprehended.

Amelia was very quick to understand what had happened and how much her husband knew about the truth. She decided to go along with him and strongly criticized Colonel James for what he had said to the sergeant, which Booth tried his best to ease. This resolved the situation, which had brought Booth close to a discovery that would have tormented him deeply, if it hadn't led to any of the tragic outcomes that Amelia feared.










Chapter vii. — In which the author appears to be master of that profound learning called the knowledge of the town.

Mrs. James now came to pay a morning’s visit to Amelia. She entered the room with her usual gaiety, and after a slight preface, addressing herself to Booth, said she had been quarrelling with her husband on his account. “I know not,” said she, “what he means by thinking of sending you the Lord knows whither. I have insisted on his asking something for you nearer home; and it would be the hardest thing in the world if he should not obtain it. Are we resolved never to encourage merit; but to throw away all our preferments on those who do not deserve them? What a set of contemptible wretches do we see strutting about the town in scarlet!”

Mrs. James came to visit Amelia in the morning. She walked into the room with her usual cheerfulness, and after a brief introduction, spoke to Booth, saying she had been arguing with her husband because of him. “I don’t understand,” she said, “why he thinks of sending you God knows where. I’ve insisted he ask for something for you that’s closer to home; it would be the most unreasonable thing in the world if he doesn’t get it. Are we really going to refuse to support talent and waste all our opportunities on those who don’t deserve them? Look at all those pathetic people strutting around town in their fancy red outfits!”

Booth made a very low bow, and modestly spoke in disparagement of himself. To which she answered, “Indeed, Mr. Booth, you have merit; I have heard it from my brother, who is a judge of those matters, and I am sure cannot be suspected of flattery. He is your friend as well as myself, and we will never let Mr. James rest till he hath got you a commission in England.”

Booth bowed deeply and humbly belittled himself. To which she replied, “Honestly, Mr. Booth, you have talent; I've heard it from my brother, who really knows what he's talking about and can't be accused of flattering you. He is your friend as well as mine, and we won't let Mr. James rest until he gets you a commission in England.”

Booth bowed again, and was offering to speak, but she interrupted him, saying, “I will have no thanks, nor no fine speeches; if I can do you any service I shall think I am only paying the debt of friendship to my dear Mrs. Booth.”

Booth bowed again and was about to speak, but she interrupted him, saying, “I don’t want any thanks or fancy speeches; if I can help you in any way, I’ll feel like I’m just repaying my friend, dear Mrs. Booth.”

Amelia, who had long since forgot the dislike she had taken to Mrs. James at her first seeing her in town, had attributed it to the right cause, and had begun to resume her former friendship for her, expressed very warm sentiments of gratitude on this occasion. She told Mrs. James she should be eternally obliged to her if she could succeed in her kind endeavours; for that the thoughts of parting again with her husband had given her the utmost concern. “Indeed,” added she, “I cannot help saying he hath some merit in the service, for he hath received two dreadful wounds in it, one of which very greatly endangered his life; and I am convinced, if his pretensions were backed with any interest, he would not fail of success.”

Amelia, who had long forgotten the dislike she felt for Mrs. James when she first saw her in town, had come to understand the real reason behind it and started to rekindle her former friendship. On this occasion, she expressed very warm feelings of gratitude. She told Mrs. James that she would be forever grateful if she could succeed in her kind efforts, as the thought of parting with her husband again had caused her great distress. “Honestly,” she added, “I can’t help but say he has some merit in the service, as he has received two serious wounds, one of which nearly cost him his life; and I’m convinced that if his qualifications were supported by any connections, he wouldn’t have any trouble achieving success.”

“They shall be backed with interest,” cries Mrs. James, “if my husband hath any. He hath no favour to ask for himself, nor for any other friend that I know of; and, indeed, to grant a man his just due, ought hardly to be thought a favour. Resume your old gaiety, therefore, my dear Emily. Lord! I remember the time when you was much the gayer creature of the two. But you make an arrant mope of yourself by confining yourself at home—one never meets you anywhere. Come, you shall go with me to the Lady Betty Castleton’s.”

“They’ll be backed with interest,” Mrs. James exclaims, “if my husband has any. He doesn’t have any favors to ask for himself or for any friends that I know of; and honestly, giving a man what he's owed shouldn’t be considered a favor. So, cheer up again, my dear Emily. Goodness! I remember when you used to be the livelier one of the two. But you’re turning into quite the homebody—nobody ever sees you anymore. Come on, you’re coming with me to Lady Betty Castleton’s.”

“Indeed, you must excuse me, my dear,” answered Amelia, “I do not know Lady Betty.”

“Of course, you have to forgive me, my dear,” Amelia replied, “I don't know Lady Betty.”

“Not know Lady Betty! how, is that possible?—but no matter, I will introduce you. She keeps a morning rout; hardly a rout, indeed; a little bit of a drum—only four or five tables. Come, take your capuchine; you positively shall go. Booth, you shall go with us too. Though you are with your wife, another woman will keep you in countenance.”

“Not know Lady Betty! How is that even possible?—but whatever, I’ll introduce you. She hosts a morning gathering; it’s hardly a big event; just a small get-together—only four or five tables. Come on, have your coffee; you really have to come. Booth, you should come with us too. Even though you’re with your wife, another woman will back you up.”

“La! child,” cries Amelia, “how you rattle!”

“Wow! kid,” Amelia exclaims, “you sure are noisy!”

“I am in spirits,” answered Mrs. James, “this morning; for I won four rubbers together last night; and betted the things, and won almost every bet. I am in luck, and we will contrive to be partners—Come.”

“I’m feeling great,” answered Mrs. James, “this morning; I won four games in a row last night; and I placed some bets and won almost all of them. I’m lucky today, and we should team up—Let’s go.”

“Nay, child, you shall not refuse Mrs. James,” said Booth.

“Nah, kid, you can’t say no to Mrs. James,” said Booth.

“I have scarce seen my children to-day,” answered Amelia. “Besides, I mortally detest cards.”

“I’ve hardly seen my kids today,” Amelia replied. “Plus, I absolutely hate playing cards.”

“Detest cards!” cries Mrs. James. “How can you be so stupid? I would not live a day without them—nay, indeed, I do not believe I should be able to exist. Is there so delightful a sight in the world as the four honours in one’s own hand, unless it be three natural aces at bragg?—And you really hate cards?”

“Ugh, cards!” Mrs. James exclaims. “How can you be so clueless? I couldn’t go a single day without them—actually, I don’t think I could survive. Is there anything more satisfying than having all four honors in your hand, except maybe having three natural aces in bragg?—And you really hate cards?”

“Upon reflexion,” cries Amelia, “I have sometimes had great pleasure in them—in seeing my children build houses with them. My little boy is so dexterous that he will sometimes build up the whole pack.”

“Upon reflection,” cries Amelia, “I have sometimes found great joy in them—in watching my children build houses with them. My little boy is so skillful that he can sometimes stack the whole set.”

“Indeed, Booth,” cries Mrs. James, “this good woman of yours is strangely altered since I knew her first; but she will always be a good creature.”

“Truly, Booth,” exclaims Mrs. James, “this wonderful woman of yours has changed a lot since I first met her; but she will always be a genuine person.”

“Upon my word, my dear,” cries Amelia, “you are altered too very greatly; but I doubt not to live to see you alter again, when you come to have as many children as I have.”

“Honestly, my dear,” Amelia exclaims, “you’ve changed a lot; but I have no doubt I’ll live to see you change again when you have as many kids as I do.”

“Children!” cries Mrs. James; “you make me shudder. How can you envy me the only circumstance which makes matrimony comfortable?”

“Kids!” Mrs. James exclaims; “you make me shudder. How can you be jealous of me for having the one thing that makes marriage enjoyable?”

“Indeed, my dear,” said Amelia, “you injure me; for I envy no woman’s happiness in marriage.” At these words such looks past between Booth and his wife as, to a sensible by-stander, would have made all the airs of Mrs. James appear in the highest degree contemptible, and would have rendered herself the object of compassion. Nor could that lady avoid looking a little silly on the occasion.

“Honestly, my dear,” Amelia said, “you hurt me; I don't envy any woman's happiness in marriage.” At her words, the glance exchanged between Booth and his wife, to an observer, would have made all of Mrs. James's pretensions seem utterly ridiculous and would have turned her into a figure of pity. Even she couldn't help but look a bit foolish in that moment.

Amelia now, at the earnest desire of her husband, accoutred herself to attend her friend; but first she insisted on visiting her children, to whom she gave several hearty kisses, and then, recommending them to the care of Mrs. Atkinson, she and her husband accompanied Mrs. James to the rout; where few of my fine readers will be displeased to make part of the company.

Amelia, now at her husband's sincere request, got ready to visit her friend; but first, she insisted on seeing her children, giving them several warm kisses. After entrusting them to the care of Mrs. Atkinson, she and her husband went with Mrs. James to the event, where I’m sure many of my esteemed readers would be happy to join the gathering.

The two ladies and Booth then entered an apartment beset with card-tables, like the rooms at Bath and Tunbridge. Mrs. James immediately introduced her friends to Lady Betty, who received them very civily, and presently engaged Booth and Mrs. James in a party at whist; for, as to Amelia, she so much declined playing, that as the party could be filled without her, she was permitted to sit by.

The two ladies and Booth then walked into an apartment filled with card tables, similar to the rooms at Bath and Tunbridge. Mrs. James quickly introduced her friends to Lady Betty, who welcomed them politely and soon started a whist game with Booth and Mrs. James. As for Amelia, she was so uninterested in playing that since the group could be complete without her, she was allowed to just sit on the side.

And now, who should make his appearance but the noble peer of whom so much honourable mention hath already been made in this history? He walked directly up to Amelia, and addressed her with as perfect a confidence as if he had not been in the least conscious of having in any manner displeased her; though the reader will hardly suppose that Mrs. Ellison had kept anything a secret from him.

And now, who should show up but the noble peer we've already talked about so much in this story? He approached Amelia directly and spoke to her with complete confidence, as if he had no idea that he had upset her in any way; although the reader might find it hard to believe that Mrs. Ellison had kept anything from him.

Amelia was not, however, so forgetful. She made him a very distant courtesy, would scarce vouchsafe an answer to anything he said, and took the first opportunity of shifting her chair and retiring from him.

Amelia wasn't that forgetful. She gave him a very distant nod, barely bothered to respond to anything he said, and immediately took the first chance to move her chair and get away from him.

Her behaviour, indeed, was such that the peer plainly perceived that he should get no advantage by pursuing her any farther at present. Instead, therefore, of attempting to follow her, he turned on his heel and addressed his discourse to another lady, though he could not avoid often casting his eyes towards Amelia as long as she remained in the room.

Her behavior was such that the peer clearly realized he wouldn't gain anything by pursuing her any further right now. So, instead of trying to follow her, he turned on his heel and started talking to another lady, although he couldn't help but glance at Amelia whenever she stayed in the room.

Fortune, which seems to have been generally no great friend to Mr. Booth, gave him no extraordinary marks of her favour at play. He lost two full rubbers, which cost him five guineas; after which, Amelia, who was uneasy at his lordship’s presence, begged him in a whisper to return home; with which request he directly complied.

Fortune, who didn't seem to be much of a friend to Mr. Booth, didn't show him any special luck at the games. He lost two entire rounds, which set him back five guineas; afterward, Amelia, feeling uncomfortable with his lordship around, quietly urged him to go home, and he immediately agreed.

Nothing, I think, remarkable happened to Booth, unless the renewal of his acquaintance with an officer whom he had known abroad, and who made one of his party at the whist-table.

Nothing too remarkable happened to Booth, except for reconnecting with an officer he had met overseas, who was part of his group at the whist table.

The name of this gentleman, with whom the reader will hereafter be better acquainted, was Trent. He had formerly been in the same regiment with Booth, and there was some intimacy between them. Captain Trent exprest great delight in meeting his brother officer, and both mutually promised to visit each other.

The name of this gentleman, who the reader will get to know better later, was Trent. He had previously been in the same regiment as Booth, and they shared some familiarity. Captain Trent expressed great joy in meeting his fellow officer, and they both promised to visit each other.

The scenes which had past the preceding night and that morning had so confused Amelia’s thoughts, that, in the hurry in which she was carried off by Mrs. James, she had entirely forgot her appointment with Dr Harrison. When she was informed at her return home that the doctor had been to wait upon her, and had expressed some anger at her being gone out, she became greatly uneasy, and begged of her husband to go to the doctor’s lodgings and make her apology.

The events from the previous night and that morning had left Amelia’s thoughts so jumbled that, in the rush when Mrs. James took her away, she completely forgot about her appointment with Dr. Harrison. When she got home and learned that the doctor had come by to see her and had been somewhat upset that she was out, she felt very anxious and asked her husband to go to the doctor's place and apologize for her.

But lest the reader should be as angry with the doctor as he had declared himself with Amelia, we think proper to explain the matter. Nothing then was farther from the doctor’s mind than the conception of any anger towards Amelia. On the contrary, when the girl answered him that her mistress was not at home, the doctor said with great good humour, “How! not at home! then tell your mistress she is a giddy vagabond, and I will come to see her no more till she sends for me.” This the poor girl, from misunderstanding one word, and half forgetting the rest, had construed into great passion, several very bad words, and a declaration that he would never see Amelia any more.

But just so the reader doesn't get as upset with the doctor as he did with Amelia, we think it's important to clarify things. At no point was the doctor angry at Amelia. In fact, when the girl told him that her mistress wasn't home, the doctor responded cheerfully, “What! Not at home? Then tell your mistress she's a silly wanderer, and I won't come to see her again until she asks me to.” The poor girl, misinterpreting one word and half-forgetting the rest, took this as him being really angry, saying several very harsh things, and declaring that he would never see Amelia again.










Chapter viii. — In which two strangers make their appearance.

Booth went to the doctor’s lodgings, and found him engaged with his country friend and his son, a young gentleman who was lately in orders; both whom the doctor had left, to keep his appointment with Amelia.

Booth went to the doctor’s place and found him with a friend from the countryside and his son, a young man who had recently taken up orders; both of whom the doctor had left to meet Amelia.

After what we mentioned at the end of the last chapter, we need take little notice of the apology made by Booth, or the doctor’s reception of it, which was in his peculiar manner. “Your wife,” said he, “is a vain hussy to think herself worth my anger; but tell her I have the vanity myself to think I cannot be angry without a better cause. And yet tell her I intend to punish her for her levity; for, if you go abroad, I have determined to take her down with me into the country, and make her do penance there till you return.”

After what we talked about at the end of the last chapter, we don’t need to pay much attention to Booth’s apology or the doctor’s response to it, which was typical of him. “Your wife,” he said, “is a vain little thing to think she’s worth my anger; but tell her I have the arrogance to believe I can’t get angry without a good reason. Still, let her know I plan to punish her for her behavior; if you go away, I’ve decided to take her with me to the countryside and make her face the consequences until you come back.”

“Dear sir,” said Booth, “I know not how to thank you if you are in earnest.”

“Dear sir,” Booth said, “I don't know how to thank you if you really mean it.”

“I assure you then I am in earnest,” cries the doctor; “but you need not thank me, however, since you know not how.”

“I promise you, I’m serious,” the doctor exclaims. “But you don’t need to thank me, since you don’t really understand how.”

“But would not that, sir,” said Booth, “be shewing a slight to the colonel’s invitation? and you know I have so many obligations to him.”

“But wouldn’t that, sir,” Booth said, “be disrespecting the colonel’s invitation? And you know I have so many obligations to him.”

“Don’t tell me of the colonel,” cries the doctor; “the church is to be first served. Besides, sir, I have priority of right, even to you yourself. You stole my little lamb from me; for I was her first love.”

“Don’t talk to me about the colonel,” the doctor exclaims; “the church needs to come first. Furthermore, sir, I have the right of way, even over you. You took my little lamb from me because I was her first love.”

“Well, sir,” cries Booth, “if I should be so unhappy to leave her to any one, she must herself determine; and, I believe, it will not be difficult to guess where her choice will fall; for of all men, next to her husband, I believe, none can contend with Dr Harrison in her favour.”

“Well, sir,” Booth exclaims, “if I should be so unfortunate as to leave her to anyone, she must decide for herself; and I think it won’t be hard to figure out who she will choose; because of all the men, aside from her husband, I believe no one stands a chance against Dr. Harrison in her eyes.”

“Since you say so,” cries the doctor, “fetch her hither to dinner with us; for I am at least so good a Christian to love those that love me—I will shew you my daughter, my old friend, for I am really proud of her—and you may bring my grand-children with you if you please.”

“Since you say so,” the doctor exclaims, “bring her here to have dinner with us; I’m at least a good enough Christian to love those who love me—I’ll show you my daughter, my old friend, because I’m really proud of her—and you can bring my grandkids along if you want.”

Booth made some compliments, and then went on his errand. As soon as he was gone the old gentleman said to the doctor, “Pray, my good friend, what daughter is this of yours? I never so much as heard that you was married.”

Booth gave a few compliments and then continued on his way. As soon as he left, the old gentleman said to the doctor, “Please, my good friend, who is this daughter of yours? I didn’t even know you were married.”

“And what then,” cries the doctor; “did you ever hear that a pope was married? and yet some of them have had sons and daughters, I believe; but, however, this young gentleman will absolve me without obliging me to penance.”

“And what then,” the doctor exclaims; “have you ever heard of a pope getting married? Yet, I believe some of them have had sons and daughters; still, this young man will forgive me without making me do penance.”

“I have not yet that power,” answered the young clergyman; “for I am only in deacon’s orders.”

“I don’t have that ability yet,” replied the young clergyman, “because I’m only a deacon.”

“Are you not?” cries the doctor; “why then I will absolve myself. You are to know then, my good friend, that this young lady was the daughter of a neighbour of mine, who is since dead, and whose sins I hope are forgiven; for she had too much to answer for on her child’s account. Her father was my intimate acquaintance and friend; a worthier man, indeed, I believe never lived. He died suddenly when his children were infants; and, perhaps, to the suddenness of his death it was owing that he did not recommend any care of them to me. However, I, in some measure, took that charge upon me; and particularly of her whom I call my daughter. Indeed, as she grew up she discovered so many good qualities that she wanted not the remembrance of her father’s merit to recommend her. I do her no more than justice when I say she is one of the best creatures I ever knew. She hath a sweetness of temper, a generosity of spirit, an openness of heart—in a word, she hath a true Christian disposition. I may call her an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no guile.”

“Are you not?” the doctor exclaims; “then I’ll clear myself. You should know, my good friend, that this young lady was the daughter of a neighbor of mine, who has since passed away, and I hope his sins are forgiven; after all, he had too much to answer for when it came to his child. Her father was a close friend of mine; I truly believe no one better ever lived. He died suddenly when his children were just infants, and perhaps because of the abruptness of his death, he didn’t ask me to look after them. Still, I took some responsibility for them, especially for her, whom I consider my daughter. In fact, as she grew up, she showed so many wonderful qualities that she didn’t need to rely on the memory of her father's goodness to shine. I do her justice when I say she is one of the best people I’ve ever known. She has a sweet temperament, a generous spirit, and an open heart—in short, she has a true Christian character. I can truly say she is an Israelite indeed, with no deceit in her.”

“I wish you joy of your daughter,” cries the old gentleman; “for to a man of your disposition, to find out an adequate object of your benevolence, is, I acknowledge, to find a treasure.”

“I wish you joy with your daughter,” exclaims the old gentleman; “for someone like you, finding a worthy recipient of your kindness is, I must admit, finding a treasure.”

“It is, indeed, a happiness,” cries the doctor.

“It is truly a happiness,” exclaims the doctor.

“The greatest difficulty,” added the gentleman, “which persons of your turn of mind meet with, is in finding proper objects of their goodness; for nothing sure can be more irksome to a generous mind, than to discover that it hath thrown away all its good offices on a soil that bears no other fruit than ingratitude.”

“The biggest challenge,” the gentleman added, “that people like you face is finding the right recipients for your kindness; because nothing is more frustrating for a generous person than realizing they’ve wasted their good intentions on someone who only returns ingratitude.”

“I remember,” cries the doctor, “Phocylides saith,

“I remember,” cries the doctor, “Phocylides says,

       Mn kakov ev epens opens dpelpelv ioov eot evi povtw
{Footnote: To do a kindness to a bad man is like sowing your seed in the sea.}
Mn kakov ev epens opens dpelpelv ioov eot evi povtw  
{Footnote: To do a kindness to a bad man is like sowing your seed in the sea.}

But he speaks more like a philosopher than a Christian. I am more pleased with a French writer, one of the best, indeed, that I ever read, who blames men for lamenting the ill return which is so often made to the best offices. {Footnote: D’Esprit.} A true Christian can never be disappointed if he doth not receive his reward in this world; the labourer might as well complain that he is not paid his hire in the middle of the day.”

But he talks more like a philosopher than a Christian. I'm more impressed with a French writer, one of the best I've ever read, who criticizes people for complaining about the poor return they often get for their good deeds. {Footnote: D’Esprit.} A true Christian can never be disappointed if they don't receive their reward in this world; the worker might as well complain that they're not getting paid in the middle of the day.

“I own, indeed,” said the gentleman, “if we see it in that light—”

“I do own,” said the gentleman, “if we look at it that way—”

“And in what light should we see it?” answered the doctor. “Are we like Agrippa, only almost Christians? or, is Christianity a matter of bare theory, and not a rule for our practice?”

“And how should we look at it?” the doctor replied. “Are we like Agrippa, just nearly Christians? Or is Christianity just a theoretical concept and not something we actually follow in our lives?”

“Practical, undoubtedly; undoubtedly practical,” cries the gentleman. “Your example might indeed have convinced me long ago that we ought to do good to every one.”

“Practical, definitely; definitely practical,” the gentleman exclaims. “Your example might have actually convinced me long ago that we should do good for everyone.”

“Pardon me, father,” cries the young divine, “that is rather a heathenish than a Christian doctrine. Homer, I remember, introduces in his Iliad one Axylus, of whom he says—

“Excuse me, father,” the young clergyman exclaims, “that sounds more like a pagan belief than a Christian one. Homer, I recall, mentions in his Iliad a character named Axylus, of whom he says—

     —Hidvos o’nv avopwpoloi
       pavras yap tyeeokev
{Footnote: He was a friend to mankind, for he loved them all.}
     —Hidvos o’nv avopwpoloi
       pavras yap tyeeokev
{Footnote: He was a friend to humanity because he cared for everyone.}

But Plato, who, of all the heathens, came nearest to the Christian philosophy, condemned this as impious doctrine; so Eustathius tells us, folio 474.”

But Plato, who, of all the non-Christians, came closest to Christian philosophy, condemned this as impious doctrine; so Eustathius tells us, folio 474.

“I know he doth,” cries the doctor, “and so Barnes tells us, in his note upon the place; but if you remember the rest of the quotation as well as you do that from Eustathius, you might have added the observation which Mr. Dryden makes in favour of this passage, that he found not in all the Latin authors, so admirable an instance of extensive humanity. You might have likewise remembered the noble sentiment with which Mr. Barnes ends his note, the sense of which is taken from the fifth chapter of Matthew:—

“I know he does,” says the doctor, “and Barnes tells us that in his note on the matter; but if you remember the rest of the quotation as well as you do the one from Eustathius, you might have mentioned the point that Mr. Dryden makes about this passage, noting that he hasn’t found a better example of extensive humanity in all the Latin authors. You could have also recalled the noble sentiment with which Mr. Barnes concludes his note, the meaning of which comes from the fifth chapter of Matthew:—

 {Greek verse}
{Greek verse}

“It seems, therefore, as if this character rather became a Christian than a heathen, for Homer could not have transcribed it from any of his deities. Whom is it, therefore, we imitate by such extensive benevolence?”

“It seems, then, that this character became more of a Christian than a pagan, since Homer couldn’t have taken it from any of his gods. So, who are we trying to imitate with such great kindness?”

“What a prodigious memory you have!” cries the old gentleman: “indeed, son, you must not contend with the doctor in these matters.”

“What an incredible memory you have!” exclaims the old gentleman. “Honestly, son, you shouldn’t challenge the doctor on these things.”

“I shall not give my opinion hastily,” cries the son. “I know, again, what Mr. Poole, in his annotations, says on that verse of St Matthew—That it is only to heap coals of fire upon their heads. How are we to understand, pray, the text immediately preceding?—Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you.”

“I won’t rush to give my opinion,” says the son. “I know, again, what Mr. Poole says in his notes about that verse from St. Matthew—that it’s only to heap coals of fire upon their heads. How are we supposed to understand, by the way, the text right before it?—Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you.”

“You know, I suppose, young gentleman,” said the doctor, “how these words are generally understood. The commentator you mention, I think, tells us that love is not here to be taken in the strict sense, so as to signify the complacency of the heart; you may hate your enemies as God’s enemies, and seek due revenge of them for his honour; and, for your own sakes too, you may seek moderate satisfaction of them; but then you are to love them with a love consistent with these things; that is to say, in plainer words, you are to love them and hate them, and bless and curse, and do them good and mischief.”

“You know, I think, young man,” said the doctor, “how these words are usually understood. The commentator you mentioned tells us that love shouldn’t be taken too literally here, as if it just means having a warm heart; you can hate your enemies as God hates them and seek appropriate revenge for His honor. For your own sake too, you might look for some reasonable satisfaction from them; but you should love them in a way that aligns with this—meaning, in simpler terms, you should love them and hate them, bless them and curse them, do good and harm to them.”

“Excellent! admirable!” said the old gentleman; “you have a most inimitable turn to ridicule.”

“Awesome! Impressive!” said the old gentleman; “you have a unique way of making fun of things.”

“I do not approve ridicule,” said the son, “on such subjects.”

“I don't approve of making fun,” said the son, “about topics like that.”

“Nor I neither,” cries the doctor; “I will give you my opinion, therefore, very seriously. The two verses taken together, contain a very positive precept, delivered in the plainest words, and yet illustrated by the clearest instance in the conduct of the Supreme Being; and lastly, the practice of this precept is most nobly enforced by the reward annexed—that ye may be the children, and so forth. No man who understands what it is to love, and to bless, and to do good, can mistake the meaning. But if they required any comment, the Scripture itself affords enow. If thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink; not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing, but contrariwise, blessing. They do not, indeed, want the comments of men, who, when they cannot bend their mind to the obedience of Scripture, are desirous to wrest Scripture to a compliance with their own inclinations.”

“Me neither,” the doctor shouts; “So I’ll give you my opinion seriously. The two verses together contain a very clear instruction, stated in straightforward words, and backed by a clear example from the behavior of the Supreme Being; and on top of that, the practice of this instruction is strongly supported by the reward tied to it—that you may be the children, and so on. No one who understands what it means to love, bless, and do good can misunderstand the message. But if they need any explanation, the Scripture itself provides enough. If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; don’t repay evil for evil or insult for insult, but on the contrary, bless them. They don’t really need the interpretations of people who, when they can’t bring themselves to follow the Scripture, want to twist it to fit their own desires.”

“Most nobly and justly observed,” cries the old gentleman. “Indeed, my good friend, you have explained the text with the utmost perspicuity.”

“Very nobly and accurately said,” exclaims the old gentleman. “Truly, my good friend, you have explained the text with the greatest clarity.”

“But if this be the meaning,” cries the son, “there must be an end of all law and justice, for I do not see how any man can prosecute his enemy in a court of justice.”

“But if this is the meaning,” shouts the son, “there can't be any law or justice left, because I don’t see how anyone can take their enemy to court.”

“Pardon me, sir,” cries the doctor. “Indeed, as an enemy merely, and from a spirit of revenge, he cannot, and he ought not to prosecute him; but as an offender against the laws of his country he may, and it is his duty so to do. Is there any spirit of revenge in the magistrates or officers of justice when they punish criminals? Why do such, ordinarily I mean, concern themselves in inflicting punishments, but because it is their duty? and why may not a private man deliver an offender into the hands of justice, from the same laudable motive? Revenge, indeed, of all kinds is strictly prohibited; wherefore, as we are not to execute it with our own hands, so neither are we to make use of the law as the instrument of private malice, and to worry each other with inveteracy and rancour. And where is the great difficulty in obeying this wise, this generous, this noble precept? If revenge be, as a certain divine, not greatly to his honour, calls it, the most luscious morsel the devil ever dropt into the mouth of a sinner, it must be allowed at least to cost us often extremely dear. It is a dainty, if indeed it be one, which we come at with great inquietude, with great difficulty, and with great danger. However pleasant it may be to the palate while we are feeding on it, it is sure to leave a bitter relish behind it; and so far, indeed, it may be called a luscious morsel, that the most greedy appetites are soon glutted, and the most eager longing for it is soon turned into loathing and repentance. I allow there is something tempting in its outward appearance, but it is like the beautiful colour of some poisons, from which, however they may attract our eyes, a regard to our own welfare commands us to abstain. And this is an abstinence to which wisdom alone, without any Divine command, hath been often found adequate, with instances of which the Greek and Latin authors everywhere abound. May not a Christian, therefore, be well ashamed of making a stumbling-block of a precept, which is not only consistent with his worldly interest, but to which so noble an incentive is proposed?”

“Excuse me, sir,” the doctor exclaims. “Truly, as just an enemy and out of a desire for revenge, he cannot and should not pursue him; but as someone who has broken the laws of his country, he can, and it is his duty to do so. Is there any desire for revenge among the magistrates or law enforcement when they punish criminals? Why do they typically take it upon themselves to administer punishments if not because it is their responsibility? And why shouldn't a private citizen bring a wrongdoer to justice for the same commendable reason? Revenge, in any form, is clearly forbidden; so, just as we shouldn't take it into our own hands, we shouldn't use the law as a tool for personal spite, causing each other distress and hatred. What’s so difficult about following this wise, generous, and noble principle? If revenge is, as a certain theologian—who doesn’t come off well—puts it, the most delectable bite the devil ever put in a sinner's mouth, it surely comes at a considerable cost. It’s a treat, if it can be called that, that we pursue with great unease, difficulty, and risk. Although it may taste good while we indulge, it inevitably leaves a bitter aftertaste; and it can indeed be called a delectable morsel, as even the most insatiable cravings are quickly satisfied, and the strongest yearnings soon turn into disgust and regret. I admit there's something tempting about its outward appearance, but it’s similar to the beautiful hues of certain poisons that, while they may catch our eye, should compel us to avoid them for our own safety. This is a restraint that is often upheld by wisdom alone, without any divine directive, illustrated by many examples found in Greek and Latin literature. So, shouldn’t a Christian feel a sense of shame for stumbling over a guideline that not only aligns with his worldly interests but also offers such a noble incentive?”

The old gentleman fell into raptures at this speech, and, after making many compliments to the doctor upon it, he turned to his son, and told him he had an opportunity now of learning more in one day than he had learnt at the university in a twelvemonth.

The old man was thrilled by this speech and, after giving the doctor a lot of compliments about it, he turned to his son and told him that he now had a chance to learn more in one day than he had learned at university in a year.

The son replied, that he allowed the doctrine to be extremely good in general, and that he agreed with the greater part; “but I must make a distinction,” said he. However, he was interrupted from his distinction at present, for now Booth returned with Amelia and the children.

The son replied that he thought the teachings were very good overall and agreed with most of it; “but I need to point out a difference,” he said. However, he was interrupted before he could explain, as Booth returned with Amelia and the kids.










Chapter ix. — A scene of modern wit and humour.

In the afternoon the old gentleman proposed a walk to Vauxhall, a place of which, he said, he had heard much, but had never seen it.

In the afternoon, the old gentleman suggested a walk to Vauxhall, a place he said he had heard a lot about but had never actually seen.

The doctor readily agreed to his friend’s proposal, and soon after ordered two coaches to be sent for to carry the whole company. But when the servant was gone for them Booth acquainted the doctor that it was yet too early. “Is it so?” said the doctor; “why, then, I will carry you first to one of the greatest and highest entertainments in the world.”

The doctor quickly accepted his friend’s suggestion and soon had two coaches sent for to transport everyone. However, when the servant left to get them, Booth informed the doctor that it was still too early. “Is that so?” said the doctor; “then I’ll take you first to one of the most amazing and extravagant events in the world.”

The children pricked up their ears at this, nor did any of the company guess what he meant; and Amelia asked what entertainment he could carry them to at that time of day?

The kids perked up at this, and no one in the group guessed what he meant; Amelia asked what kind of entertainment he could take them to at that time of day.

“Suppose,” says the doctor, “I should carry you to court.”

“Imagine,” says the doctor, “I take you to court.”

“At five o’clock in the afternoon!” cries Booth.

“At five o’clock in the afternoon!” Booth exclaims.

“Ay, suppose I should have interest enough to introduce you into the presence.”

“Yeah, what if I actually had enough influence to get you in front of him?”

“You are jesting, dear sir,” cries Amelia.

“You're joking, dear sir,” Amelia exclaims.

“Indeed, I am serious,” answered the doctor. “I will introduce you into that presence, compared to whom the greatest emperor on the earth is many millions of degrees meaner than the most contemptible reptile is to him. What entertainment can there be to a rational being equal to this? Was not the taste of mankind most wretchedly depraved, where would the vain man find an honour, or where would the love of pleasure propose so adequate an object as divine worship? with what ecstasy must the contemplation of being admitted to such a presence fill the mind! The pitiful courts of princes are open to few, and to those only at particular seasons; but from this glorious and gracious presence we are none of us, and at no time excluded.”

“Honestly, I’m serious,” the doctor replied. “I will introduce you to a presence that makes the greatest emperor on earth seem incredibly insignificant, like a worthless reptile compared to him. What greater entertainment could a rational being hope for? If people weren't so terribly misguided, where would the arrogant find honor? Where would the pursuit of pleasure offer something as worthy as divine worship? Just imagine the thrill of being in such a presence! The pathetic courts of kings are accessible to only a few and only at certain times, but none of us are ever excluded from this glorious and gracious presence.”

The doctor was proceeding thus when the servant returned, saying the coaches were ready; and the whole company with the greatest alacrity attended the doctor to St James’s church.

The doctor was in the middle of his work when the servant came back, saying the coaches were ready; and everyone eagerly followed the doctor to St. James’s church.

When the service was ended, and they were again got into their coaches, Amelia returned the doctor many thanks for the light in which he had placed divine worship, assuring him that she had never before had so much transport in her devotion as at this time, and saying she believed she should be the better for this notion he had given her as long as she lived.

When the service was over and they got back into their coaches, Amelia thanked the doctor many times for the perspective he had given her on divine worship, telling him that she had never felt such joy in her devotion before and that she believed this idea he had shared with her would benefit her for the rest of her life.

The coaches being come to the water-side, they all alighted, and, getting into one boat, proceeded to Vauxhall.

The coaches arrived at the riverside, everyone got out, and after climbing into one boat, they headed to Vauxhall.

The extreme beauty and elegance of this place is well known to almost every one of my readers; and happy is it for me that it is so, since to give an adequate idea of it would exceed my power of description. To delineate the particular beauties of these gardens would, indeed, require as much pains, and as much paper too, as to rehearse all the good actions of their master, whose life proves the truth of an observation which I have read in some ethic writer, that a truly elegant taste is generally accompanied with an excellency of heart; or, in other words, that true virtue is, indeed, nothing else but true taste.

The stunning beauty and elegance of this place is well known to almost every one of my readers; and I’m fortunate that it is, because capturing it in words is beyond my ability. To describe the specific beauties of these gardens would actually take as much effort and as much paper as recounting all the good deeds of their owner, whose life confirms a notion I've come across in some ethical writing: that a genuinely refined taste usually goes hand in hand with a good heart; or, in simpler terms, that true virtue is essentially just true taste.

Here our company diverted themselves with walking an hour or two before the music began. Of all the seven, Booth alone had ever been here before; so that, to all the rest, the place, with its other charms, had that of novelty. When the music played, Amelia, who stood next to the doctor, said to him in a whisper, “I hope I am not guilty of profaneness; but, in pursuance of that chearful chain of thoughts with which you have inspired me this afternoon, I was just now lost in a reverie, and fancied myself in those blissful mansions which we hope to enjoy hereafter. The delicious sweetness of the place, the enchanting charms of the music, and the satisfaction which appears in every one’s countenance, carried my soul almost to heaven in its ideas. I could not have, indeed, imagined there had been anything like this in this world.”

Here, our group passed the time by walking for an hour or two before the music started. Of the seven of us, only Booth had been here before; so for everyone else, the place, along with its other attractions, felt new and exciting. When the music began, Amelia, standing next to the doctor, whispered to him, “I hope I’m not being disrespectful, but while getting lost in the cheerful thoughts you sparked in me this afternoon, I just imagined myself in those beautiful places we hope to experience later. The delightful ambiance, the enchanting music, and the joy visible on everyone’s faces lifted my spirit almost to heaven. I honestly couldn’t have imagined anything like this in this world.”

The doctor smiled, and said, “You see, dear madam, there may be pleasures of which you could conceive no idea till you actually enjoyed them.”

The doctor smiled and said, “You see, dear lady, there might be pleasures you can’t even imagine until you actually experience them.”

And now the little boy, who had long withstood the attractions of several cheesecakes that passed to and fro, could contain no longer, but asked his mother to give him one, saying, “I am sure my sister would be glad of another, though she is ashamed to ask.” The doctor, overhearing the child, proposed that they should all retire to some place where they might sit down and refresh themselves; which they accordingly did. Amelia now missed her husband; but, as she had three men in her company, and one of them was the doctor, she concluded herself and her children to be safe, and doubted not but that Booth would soon find her out.

And now the little boy, who had resisted the temptation of several cheesecakes that were passed around, could no longer hold back. He asked his mother for one, saying, “I’m sure my sister would like another, even though she’s too shy to ask.” The doctor, overhearing the boy, suggested that they all find a place to sit down and have a snack, which they did. Amelia now missed her husband, but since she was with three men, one of whom was the doctor, she felt safe with her children and was confident that Booth would find her soon.

They now sat down, and the doctor very gallantly desired Amelia to call for what she liked. Upon which the children were supplied with cakes, and some ham and chicken were provided for the rest of the company; with which while they were regaling themselves with the highest satisfaction, two young fellows walking arm-in-arm, came up, and when they came opposite to Amelia they stood still, staring Amelia full in the face, and one of them cried aloud to the other, “D—n me, my lord, if she is not an angel!”—My lord stood still, staring likewise at her, without speaking a word; when two others of the same gang came up, and one of them cried, “Come along, Jack, I have seen her before; but she is too well manned already. Three——are enough for one woman, or the devil is in it!”

They sat down, and the doctor kindly told Amelia to order whatever she wanted. The kids were given cakes, and some ham and chicken were brought out for the rest of the group. While they enjoyed their food with great satisfaction, two young guys walked by arm-in-arm. When they reached Amelia, they stopped and stared at her, and one of them shouted to the other, “Damn, my lord, if she isn’t an angel!” My lord stood there, also staring at her, without saying a word. Then two others from the same group approached, and one of them said, “Come on, Jack, I’ve seen her before; but she’s already got too many admirers. Three—are enough for one woman, or it’s just not right!”

“D—n me,” says he that spoke first, and whom they called Jack, “I will have a brush at her if she belonged to the whole convocation.” And so saying, he went up to the young clergyman, and cried, “Doctor, sit up a little, if you please, and don’t take up more room in a bed than belongs to you.” At which words he gave the young man a push, and seated himself down directly over against Amelia, and, leaning both his elbows on the table, he fixed his eyes on her in a manner with which modesty can neither look nor bear to be looked at.

“Damn me,” said the first speaker, known as Jack, “I’ll take a shot at her even if she belonged to the whole assembly.” With that, he approached the young clergyman and exclaimed, “Doctor, could you sit up a bit, please, and not take up more space in the bed than you need to.” As he said this, he gave the young man a push and immediately sat down directly across from Amelia, leaning both elbows on the table and fixing his gaze on her in a way that modesty can neither withstand nor endure.

Amelia seemed greatly shocked at this treatment; upon which the doctor removed her within him, and then, facing the gentleman, asked him what he meant by this rude behaviour?—Upon which my lord stept up and said, “Don’t be impertinent, old gentleman. Do you think such fellows as you are to keep, d—n me, such fine wenches, d—n me, to yourselves, d—n me?”

Amelia looked really shocked by this treatment; then the doctor took her away from him and, turning towards the gentleman, asked what he meant by being so rude. At that, my lord stepped forward and said, “Don’t be rude, old man. Do you think people like you should keep, damn me, such beautiful women, damn me, all to yourselves, damn me?”

“No, no,” cries Jack, “the old gentleman is more reasonable. Here’s the fellow that eats up the tithe-pig. Don’t you see how his mouth waters at her? Where’s your slabbering bib?” For, though the gentleman had rightly guessed he was a clergyman, yet he had not any of those insignia on with which it would have been improper to have appeared there.

“No, no,” Jack shouts, “the old guy is more sensible. Here’s the dude that devours the tithe-pig. Don’t you see how his mouth is watering for her? Where’s your drooling bib?” Because, even though the gentleman correctly figured he was a clergyman, he wasn’t wearing any of the symbols that would have made it inappropriate for him to be there.

“Such boys as you,” cries the young clergyman, “ought to be well whipped at school, instead of being suffered to become nuisances in society.”

“Boys like you,” the young clergyman exclaims, “should be properly disciplined at school instead of being allowed to turn into problems in society.”

“Boys, sir!” says Jack; “I believe I am as good a man as yourself, Mr.——, and as good a scholar too. Bos fur sus quotque sacerdos. Tell me what’s next. D—n me, I’ll hold you fifty pounds you don’t tell me what’s next.”

“Boys, sir!” says Jack; “I believe I’m just as good a man as you, Mr.——, and just as good a scholar too. Bos fur sus quotque sacerdos. Tell me what’s next. Damn it, I’ll bet you fifty pounds you won’t tell me what’s next.”

“You have him, Jack,” cries my lord. “It is over with him, d—n me! he can’t strike another blow.”

“You've got him, Jack,” my lord shouts. “It's all over for him, damn it! He can't land another hit.”

“If I had you in a proper place,” cries the clergyman, “you should find I would strike a blow, and a pretty hard one too.”

“If I had you in the right spot,” the clergyman shouts, “you’d see that I would hit you, and it would be quite a blow too.”

“There,” cries my lord, “there is the meekness of the clergyman—there spoke the wolf in sheep’s clothing. D—n me, how big he looks! You must be civil to him, faith! or else he will burst with pride.”

“There,” my lord exclaims, “that’s the humility of the clergyman—there spoke the wolf in sheep’s clothing. Damn, he looks so big! You have to be nice to him, seriously! Otherwise, he’ll explode with pride.”

“Ay, ay,” cries Jack, “let the clergy alone for pride; there’s not a lord in the kingdom now hath half the pride of that fellow.”

“Yeah, yeah,” shouts Jack, “leave the clergy out of it when it comes to pride; there’s not a lord in the kingdom right now who has half the pride of that guy.”

“Pray, sir,” cries the doctor, turning to the other, “are you a lord?”

“Please, sir,” the doctor asks, turning to the other man, “are you a lord?”

“Yes, Mr. ——,” cries he, “I have that honour, indeed.”

“Yes, Mr. ——,” he exclaims, “I truly have that honor.”

“And I suppose you have pride too,” said the doctor.

“And I guess you have pride as well,” said the doctor.

“I hope I have, sir,” answered he, “at your service.”

“I hope I have, sir,” he replied, “at your service.”

“If such a one as you, sir,” cries the doctor, “who are not only a scandal to the title you bear as a lord, but even as a man, can pretend to pride, why will you not allow it to a clergyman? I suppose, sir, by your dress, you are in the army? and, by the ribbon in your hat, you seem to be proud of that too. How much greater and more honourable is the service in which that gentleman is enlisted than yours! Why then should you object to the pride of the clergy, since the lowest of the function is in reality every way so much your superior?”

“If someone like you, sir,” the doctor exclaims, “who is not just a disgrace to the title you hold as a lord but also as a man, can claim to have pride, why won't you allow it for a clergyman? I assume, sir, from your outfit, that you are in the army? And, from the ribbon in your hat, you seem to take pride in that as well. How much greater and more honorable is the service that gentleman is part of compared to yours! So why do you object to the pride of the clergy, when even the least of their ranks is actually far superior to you in every way?”

“Tida Tidu Tidum,” cries my lord.

“Tida Tidu Tidum,” shouts my lord.

“However, gentlemen,” cries the doctor, “if you have the least pretension to that name, I beg you will put an end to your frolic; since you see it gives so much uneasiness to the lady. Nay, I entreat you for your own sakes, for here is one coming who will talk to you in a very different stile from ours.”

“However, gentlemen,” the doctor exclaims, “if you have any claim to that title, I urge you to stop your antics, as you can see it’s causing the lady a lot of distress. I ask you for your own good, because someone is approaching who will speak to you in a very different way than we do.”

“One coming!” cries my lord; “what care I who is coming?”

“One's coming!” shouts my lord; “why should I care who's coming?”

“I suppose it is the devil,” cries Jack; “for here are two of his livery servants already.”

“I guess it’s the devil,” shouts Jack; “because here are two of his servants already.”

“Let the devil come as soon as he will,” cries my lord; “d—n me if I have not a kiss!”

“Let the devil show up whenever he wants,” my lord shouts; “damn me if I don’t get a kiss!”

Amelia now fell a trembling; and her children, perceiving her fright, both hung on her, and began to cry; when Booth and Captain Trent both came up.

Amelia started to tremble, and her children, noticing her fear, clung to her and began to cry; just then, Booth and Captain Trent both approached.

Booth, seeing his wife disordered, asked eagerly what was the matter? At the same time the lord and his companion, seeing Captain Trent, whom they well knew, said both together, “What, doth this company belong to you?” When the doctor, with great presence of mind, as he was apprehensive of some fatal consequence if Booth should know what had past, said, “So, Mr. Booth, I am glad you are returned; your poor lady here began to be frighted out of her wits. But now you have him again,” said he to Amelia, “I hope you will be easy.”

Booth, seeing his wife in distress, eagerly asked what was wrong. At the same time, the lord and his companion, noticing Captain Trent, whom they recognized well, exclaimed together, “What, does this group belong to you?” The doctor, thinking quickly and worried about the serious consequences if Booth found out what had happened, said, “So, Mr. Booth, I’m glad you’re back; your poor lady here was starting to get really scared. But now that you have him again,” he said to Amelia, “I hope you’ll feel better.”

Amelia, frighted as she was, presently took the hint, and greatly chid her husband for leaving her. But the little boy was not so quick-sighted, and cried, “Indeed, papa, those naughty men there have frighted my mamma out of her wits.”

Amelia, scared as she was, quickly got the hint and scolded her husband for leaving her. But the little boy wasn't as perceptive and exclaimed, “Really, Dad, those mean men there have scared my mom out of her mind.”

“How!” cries Booth, a little moved; “frightened! Hath any one frightened you, my dear?”

“How!” Booth exclaims, a bit moved. “Scared! Did someone scare you, my dear?”

“No, my love,” answered she, “nothing. I know not what the child means. Everything is well now I see you safe.”

“No, my love,” she replied, “nothing. I don’t know what the child means. Everything is fine now that I see you safe.”

Trent had been all the while talking aside with the young sparks; and now, addressing himself to Booth, said, “Here hath been some little mistake; I believe my lord mistook Mrs. Booth for some other lady.”

Trent had been quietly chatting with the young guys the whole time; and now, turning to Booth, he said, “There seems to have been a bit of a misunderstanding; I think my lord confused Mrs. Booth with someone else.”

“It is impossible,” cries my lord, “to know every one. I am sure, if I had known the lady to be a woman of fashion, and an acquaintance of Captain Trent, I should have said nothing disagreeable to her; but, if I have, I ask her pardon, and the company’s.”

“It’s impossible,” my lord exclaims, “to know everyone. I’m sure, if I had known the lady was someone important and a friend of Captain Trent, I wouldn’t have said anything unpleasant to her; but if I have, I apologize to her and to everyone here.”

“I am in the dark,” cries Booth. “Pray what is all this matter?”

“I’m in the dark,” Booth shouts. “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing of any consequence,” cries the doctor, “nor worth your enquiring into. You hear it was a mistake of the person, and I really believe his lordship that all proceeded from his not knowing to whom the lady belonged.”

“It's nothing important,” the doctor exclaims, “and not worth your inquiry. You hear it was a mistake on the part of the individual, and I truly believe his lordship that it all came from him not knowing who the lady belonged to.”

“Come, come,” says Trent, “there is nothing in the matter, I assure you. I will tell you the whole another time.”

“Come on,” says Trent, “there's nothing to worry about, I promise you. I’ll tell you everything another time.”

“Very well; since you say so,” cries Booth, “I am contented.” So ended the affair, and the two sparks made their congee, and sneaked off.

“Alright; if you say so,” Booth says, “I’m fine with it.” That settled the matter, and the two guys said their goodbyes and slipped away.

“Now they are gone,” said the young gentleman, “I must say I never saw two worse-bred jackanapes, nor fellows that deserved to be kicked more. If I had had them in another place I would have taught them a little more respect to the church.”

“Now they’re gone,” said the young gentleman, “I have to say I’ve never seen two more poorly raised punks, nor guys who deserve a kick more. If I had them somewhere else, I would have taught them a bit more respect for the church.”

“You took rather a better way,” answered the doctor, “to teach them that respect.”

“You found a much better way,” the doctor replied, “to show them that respect.”

Booth now desired his friend Trent to sit down with them, and proposed to call for a fresh bottle of wine; but Amelia’s spirits were too much disconcerted to give her any prospect of pleasure that evening. She therefore laid hold of the pretence of her children, for whom she said the hour was already too late; with which the doctor agreed. So they paid their reckoning and departed, leaving to the two rakes the triumph of having totally dissipated the mirth of this little innocent company, who were before enjoying complete satisfaction.

Booth wanted his friend Trent to join them and suggested ordering another bottle of wine. However, Amelia’s mood was too upset for her to enjoy the evening. So, she used her kids as an excuse, saying it was already too late for them. The doctor agreed. They settled the bill and left, leaving the two rakes to take pride in ruining the fun for this innocent little group, who had been enjoying themselves completely.










Chapter x. — A curious conversation between the doctor, the young clergyman, and the young clergyman’s father.

The next morning, when the doctor and his two friends were at breakfast, the young clergyman, in whose mind the injurious treatment he had received the evening before was very deeply impressed, renewed the conversation on that subject.

The next morning, when the doctor and his two friends were having breakfast, the young clergyman, who was still very affected by the harsh treatment he had received the night before, brought up the topic again.

“It is a scandal,” said he, “to the government, that they do not preserve more respect to the clergy, by punishing all rudeness to them with the utmost severity. It was very justly observed of you, sir,” said he to the doctor, “that the lowest clergyman in England is in real dignity superior to the highest nobleman. What then can be so shocking as to see that gown, which ought to entitle us to the veneration of all we meet, treated with contempt and ridicule? Are we not, in fact, ambassadors from heaven to the world? and do they not, therefore, in denying us our due respect, deny it in reality to Him that sent us?”

“It’s a shame,” he said, “that the government doesn’t show more respect for the clergy by punishing all disrespect toward them with the strictest penalties. You rightly pointed out, sir,” he said to the doctor, “that even the lowest clergyman in England holds a dignity that surpasses that of the highest nobleman. So what could be more shocking than seeing that robe, which should earn us the respect of everyone we meet, treated with scorn and mockery? Are we not, in fact, representatives from heaven to the world? And by denying us the respect we deserve, aren’t they really denying it to the one who sent us?”

“If that be the case,” says the doctor, “it behoves them to look to themselves; for He who sent us is able to exact most severe vengeance for the ill treatment of His ministers.”

“If that's the case,” says the doctor, “they should take care of themselves; because He who sent us can exact very severe vengeance for the mistreatment of His ministers.”

“Very true, sir,” cries the young one; “and I heartily hope He will; but those punishments are at too great a distance to infuse terror into wicked minds. The government ought to interfere with its immediate censures. Fines and imprisonments and corporal punishments operate more forcibly on the human mind than all the fears of damnation.”

“Absolutely true, sir,” exclaims the young one; “and I sincerely hope He will; but those punishments are too far away to scare wicked minds. The government needs to step in with immediate consequences. Fines, imprisonment, and physical punishment have a stronger impact on the human mind than all the fears of damnation.”

“Do you think so?” cries the doctor; “then I am afraid men are very little in earnest in those fears.”

“Do you really think that?” the doctor exclaims. “Then I guess men aren't very serious about those fears.”

“Most justly observed,” says the old gentleman. “Indeed, I am afraid that is too much the case.”

“Most accurately stated,” says the old gentleman. “Honestly, I’m afraid that is often the case.”

“In that,” said the son, “the government is to blame. Are not books of infidelity, treating our holy religion as a mere imposture, nay, sometimes as a mere jest, published daily, and spread abroad amongst the people with perfect impunity?”

“In that,” said the son, “the government is to blame. Aren't books that spread doubt about our holy religion, treating it as a mere deception, and sometimes even as a joke, published every day and circulated among the people without consequence?”

“You are certainly in the right,” says the doctor; “there is a most blameable remissness with regard to these matters; but the whole blame doth not lie there; some little share of the fault is, I am afraid, to be imputed to the clergy themselves.”

“You're absolutely right,” says the doctor; “there's a seriously irresponsible attitude towards these issues; but it’s not all their fault; I’m afraid the clergy themselves share some of the blame.”

“Indeed, sir,” cries the young one, “I did not expect that charge from a gentleman of your cloth. Do the clergy give any encouragement to such books? Do they not, on the contrary, cry loudly out against the suffering them? This is the invidious aspersion of the laity; and I did not expect to hear it confirmed by one of our own cloth.”

“Absolutely, sir,” the young man exclaims, “I didn’t expect that accusation from someone of your background. Do the clergy support such books? Don’t they, on the contrary, speak out strongly against allowing them? This is a damaging slander from the laypeople, and I didn’t expect to hear it validated by someone from our own ranks.”

“Be not too impatient, young gentleman,” said the doctor. “I do not absolutely confirm the charge of the laity; it is much too general and too severe; but even the laity themselves do not attack them in that part to which you have applied your defence. They are not supposed such fools as to attack that religion to which they owe their temporal welfare. They are not taxed with giving any other support to infidelity than what it draws from the ill examples of their lives; I mean of the lives of some of them. Here too the laity carry their censures too far; for there are very few or none of the clergy whose lives, if compared with those of the laity, can be called profligate; but such, indeed, is the perfect purity of our religion, such is the innocence and virtue which it exacts to entitle us to its glorious rewards and to screen us from its dreadful punishments, that he must be a very good man indeed who lives up to it. Thus then these persons argue. This man is educated in a perfect knowledge of religion, is learned in its laws, and is by his profession obliged, in a manner, to have them always before his eyes. The rewards which it promises to the obedience of these laws are so great, and the punishments threatened on disobedience so dreadful, that it is impossible but all men must fearfully fly from the one, and as eagerly pursue the other. If, therefore, such a person lives in direct opposition to, and in a constant breach of, these laws, the inference is obvious. There is a pleasant story in Matthew Paris, which I will tell you as well as I can remember it. Two young gentlemen, I think they were priests, agreed together that whosoever died first should return and acquaint his friend with the secrets of the other world. One of them died soon after, and fulfilled his promise. The whole relation he gave is not very material; but, among other things, he produced one of his hands, which Satan had made use of to write upon, as the moderns do on a card, and had sent his compliments to the priests for the number of souls which the wicked examples of their lives daily sent to hell. This story is the more remarkable as it was written by a priest, and a great favourer of his order.”

“Don’t be too impatient, young man,” said the doctor. “I don’t completely agree with the accusation made by the laypeople; it’s way too broad and harsh. But even the laypeople themselves don’t go after the part that you’re trying to defend. They’re not thought to be so foolish as to attack the religion that supports their well-being. They’re not blamed for giving any other backing to disbelief than what comes from the bad examples of some of their lives. Here too, the laypeople go too far with their judgments; very few, if any, of the clergy can be called immoral when compared to the laity. But such is the perfect purity of our religion, such is the innocence and virtue it demands to earn its glorious rewards and protect us from its terrible punishments, that only a truly good person can live up to it. Thus, these individuals reason. This man is thoroughly educated in religious knowledge, well-versed in its laws, and by his profession is in a way required to keep them always in mind. The rewards promised for following these laws are so immense, and the punishments threatened for disobedience are so terrifying, that it’s impossible for anyone not to fearfully avoid one and eagerly pursue the other. Therefore, if such a person lives in outright contradiction to and constantly breaks these laws, the conclusion is clear. There’s a funny story in Matthew Paris that I’ll recount as best as I can remember. Two young men, who I think were priests, made a pact that whoever died first would come back and share the secrets of the afterlife with the other. One of them died shortly after and kept his promise. The details he shared aren’t very significant, but among other things, he showed one of his hands, which Satan had used to write on, like how people today write on cards, and sent his regards to the priests for the number of souls that the bad examples of their lives were sending to hell every day. This story is especially noteworthy because it was written by a priest who was a big supporter of his order.”

“Excellent!” cried the old gentleman; “what a memory you have.”

"Awesome!" exclaimed the old man. "You have an incredible memory!"

“But, sir,” cries the young one, “a clergyman is a man as well as another; and, if such perfect purity be expected—”

“But, sir,” the young man exclaims, “a clergyman is just like anyone else; and if such perfect purity is expected—”

“I do not expect it,” cries the doctor; “and I hope it will not be expected of us. The Scripture itself gives us this hope, where the best of us are said to fall twenty times a-day. But sure we may not allow the practice of any of those grosser crimes which contaminate the whole mind. We may expect an obedience to the ten commandments, and an abstinence from such notorious vices as, in the first place, Avarice, which, indeed, can hardly subsist without the breach of more commandments than one. Indeed, it would be excessive candour to imagine that a man who so visibly sets his whole heart, not only on this world, but on one of the most worthless things in it (for so is money, without regard to its uses), should be, at the same time, laying up his treasure in heaven. Ambition is a second vice of this sort: we are told we cannot serve God and Mammon. I might have applied this to avarice; but I chose rather to mention it here. When we see a man sneaking about in courts and levees, and doing the dirty work of great men, from the hopes of preferment, can we believe that a fellow whom we see to have so many hard task-masters upon earth ever thinks of his Master which is in heaven? Must he not himself think, if ever he reflects at all, that so glorious a Master will disdain and disown a servant who is the dutiful tool of a court-favourite, and employed either as the pimp of his pleasure, or sometimes, perhaps, made a dirty channel to assist in the conveyance of that corruption which is clogging up and destroying the very vitals of his country?

“I don’t expect that,” says the doctor; “and I hope it won’t be expected of us. The Scripture itself gives us this hope, where the best of us are said to fail twenty times a day. But we certainly can't allow the practice of any of those serious crimes that corrupt the entire mind. We should expect obedience to the ten commandments and a refusal of such obvious vices as, first of all, greed, which really can hardly exist without breaking more than one commandment. In fact, it would be overly generous to think that a man who clearly focuses his entire heart, not only on this world but on one of the most worthless things in it (since money is worthless without considering its use), could, at the same time, be storing up his treasure in heaven. Ambition is another vice of this kind: we’re told we cannot serve God and wealth. I could have related this to greed, but I prefer to mention it here. When we see someone sneaking around courts and social gatherings, doing the dirty work of powerful figures in hopes of advancement, can we really believe that someone who has so many harsh taskmasters on earth ever thinks of his Master in heaven? Surely, if he ever reflects at all, he must think that such a glorious Master would look down on and reject a servant who is a dutiful tool of a court favorite, and who is either acting as a facilitator for his pleasures, or perhaps, at times, being a distasteful means to help spread the corruption that is overwhelming and destroying the very core of his country?

“The last vice which I shall mention is Pride. There is not in the universe a more ridiculous nor a more contemptible animal than a proud clergyman; a turkey-cock or a jackdaw are objects of veneration when compared with him. I don’t mean, by Pride, that noble dignity of mind to which goodness can only administer an adequate object, which delights in the testimony of its own conscience, and could not, without the highest agonies, bear its condemnation. By Pride I mean that saucy passion which exults in every little eventual pre-eminence over other men: such are the ordinary gifts of nature, and the paultry presents of fortune, wit, knowledge, birth, strength, beauty, riches, titles, and rank. That passion which is ever aspiring, like a silly child, to look over the heads of all about them; which, while it servilely adheres to the great, flies from the poor, as if afraid of contamination; devouring greedily every murmur of applause and every look of admiration; pleased and elated with all kind of respect; and hurt and enflamed with the contempt of the lowest and most despicable of fools, even with such as treated you last night disrespectfully at Vauxhall. Can such a mind as this be fixed on things above? Can such a man reflect that he hath the ineffable honour to be employed in the immediate service of his great Creator? or can he please himself with the heart-warming hope that his ways are acceptable in the sight of that glorious, that incomprehensible Being?”

“The last vice I’ll mention is Pride. There’s nothing more ridiculous or contemptible in the universe than a proud clergyman; even a turkey or a jackdaw seems respectable compared to him. By Pride, I don’t mean the noble dignity of mind that can only be fulfilled by goodness, which takes joy in the knowledge of its own conscience and would endure great pain rather than face its own condemnation. I mean that arrogant passion that revels in every small advantage over others: things like natural talent, and the petty gifts of fortune—wit, knowledge, birth, strength, beauty, wealth, titles, and status. That passion that always tries to look over everyone’s heads like a silly child; that, while it clings to the powerful, avoids the poor out of fear of contamination; greedily consuming every whisper of applause and every look of admiration; satisfied and uplifted by all kinds of respect; and hurt and inflamed by the disdain of the lowest and most despicable fools, even those who disrespected you last night at Vauxhall. Can a mind like this focus on higher matters? Can such a person realize they have the incredible honor of serving their great Creator? Or can they comfort themselves with the heartwarming hope that their actions are pleasing to that glorious, incomprehensible Being?”

“Hear, child, hear,” cries the old gentleman; “hear, and improve your understanding. Indeed, my good friend, no one retires from you without carrying away some good instructions with him. Learn of the doctor, Tom, and you will be the better man as long as you live.”

“Hear, kid, hear,” shouts the old man; “listen, and broaden your understanding. Truly, my good friend, no one leaves you without taking away some valuable lessons. Learn from the doctor, Tom, and you’ll be a better person for the rest of your life.”

“Undoubtedly, sir,” answered Tom, “the doctor hath spoken a great deal of excellent truth; and, without a compliment to him, I was always a great admirer of his sermons, particularly of their oratory. But,

“Definitely, sir,” Tom replied, “the doctor has shared a lot of excellent truths; and, without flattering him, I've always been a big fan of his sermons, especially their style. But,

    Nee tamen hoc tribuens dederim quoque caetera.
Yet I will grant this, I have also given the rest.

I cannot agree that a clergyman is obliged to put up with an affront any more than another man, and more especially when it is paid to the order.”

I can’t agree that a clergyman has to tolerate an insult any more than anyone else, especially when it’s directed at the institution.

“I am very sorry, young gentleman,” cries the doctor, “that you should be ever liable to be affronted as a clergyman; and I do assure you, if I had known your disposition formerly, the order should never have been affronted through you.”

“I’m really sorry, young man,” the doctor exclaims, “that you should ever have to face disrespect as a clergyman; and I assure you, if I had known your character before, that position would never have been insulted because of you.”

The old gentleman now began to check his son for his opposition to the doctor, when a servant delivered the latter a note from Amelia, which he read immediately to himself, and it contained the following words:

The old gentleman now started to confront his son about his disagreement with the doctor, when a servant brought the doctor a note from Amelia, which he read to himself right away, and it said:

“MY DEAR SIR,—Something hath happened since I saw you which gives me great uneasiness, and I beg the favour of seeing you as soon as possible to advise with you upon it. I am

“MY DEAR SIR,—Something has happened since I last saw you that worries me greatly, and I kindly ask to see you as soon as possible to discuss it with you. I am

“Your most obliged and dutiful daughter,

“Your most grateful and devoted daughter,

“AMELIA BOOTH.”

The doctor’s answer was, that he would wait on the lady directly; and then, turning to his friend, he asked him if he would not take a walk in the Park before dinner. “I must go,” says he, “to the lady who was with us last night; for I am afraid, by her letter, some bad accident hath happened to her. Come, young gentleman, I spoke a little too hastily to you just now; but I ask your pardon. Some allowance must be made to the warmth of your blood. I hope we shall, in time, both think alike.”

The doctor said he would go see the lady right away; then, turning to his friend, he asked if he wanted to take a walk in the park before dinner. “I need to go,” he said, “to the lady who was with us last night because I’m worried that something bad has happened to her based on her letter. Come on, young man, I might have spoken too quickly to you just now, and I apologize for that. We should consider the passion of youth. I hope that eventually, we will both see things the same way.”

The old gentleman made his friend another compliment; and the young one declared he hoped he should always think, and act too, with the dignity becoming his cloth. After which the doctor took his leave for a while, and went to Amelia’s lodgings.

The old gentleman gave his friend another compliment, and the young man expressed his hope that he would always think and act with the dignity expected of his profession. After that, the doctor said goodbye for a while and headed to Amelia's place.

As soon as he was gone the old gentleman fell very severely on his son. “Tom,” says he, “how can you be such a fool to undo, by your perverseness, all that I have been doing? Why will you not learn to study mankind with the attention which I have employed to that purpose? Do you think, if I had affronted this obstinate old fellow as you do, I should ever have engaged his friendship?”

As soon as he left, the old man scolded his son harshly. “Tom,” he said, “how can you be such a fool to mess up everything I’ve worked for with your stubbornness? Why won’t you take the time to study people like I have? Do you really think that if I had offended this stubborn old guy like you do, I would have ever gained his friendship?”

“I cannot help it, sir,” said Tom: “I have not studied six years at the university to give up my sentiments to every one. It is true, indeed, he put together a set of sounding words; but, in the main, I never heard any one talk more foolishly.”

“I can’t help it, sir,” said Tom. “I didn’t study for six years at university to just abandon my beliefs for everyone else. It’s true he strung a bunch of impressive words together, but honestly, I’ve never heard anyone speak more foolishly.”

“What of that?” cries the father; “I never told you he was a wise man, nor did I ever think him so. If he had any understanding, he would have been a bishop long ago, to my certain knowledge. But, indeed, he hath been always a fool in private life; for I question whether he is worth L100 in the world, more than his annual income. He hath given away above half his fortune to the Lord knows who. I believe I have had above L200 of him, first and last; and would you lose such a milch-cow as this for want of a few compliments? Indeed, Tom, thou art as great a simpleton as himself. How do you expect to rise in the church if you cannot temporise and give in to the opinions of your superiors?”

“What about that?” the father exclaims; “I never said he was a wise man, nor did I ever think he was. If he had any sense, he would’ve become a bishop long ago, that much I know for sure. But really, he’s always been foolish in his personal life; I doubt he’s worth more than £100 in the world, beyond his yearly income. He’s given away over half his fortune to who knows who. I believe I’ve received over £200 from him, all told; and would you really throw away such a cash cow just because of a few compliments? Honestly, Tom, you’re as much of a fool as he is. How do you expect to succeed in the church if you can’t adapt and agree with your superiors?”

“I don’t know, sir,” cries Tom, “what you mean by my superiors. In one sense, I own, a doctor of divinity is superior to a bachelor of arts, and so far I am ready to allow his superiority; but I understand Greek and Hebrew as well as he, and will maintain my opinion against him, or any other in the schools.”

“I don’t know, sir,” Tom shouts, “what you mean by my superiors. In one way, I admit, a doctor of divinity is superior to a bachelor of arts, and I’m willing to accept that. But I understand Greek and Hebrew just as well as he does, and I will stand by my opinion against him or anyone else in academia.”

“Tom,” cries the old gentleman, “till thou gettest the better of thy conceit I shall never have any hopes of thee. If thou art wise, thou wilt think every man thy superior of whom thou canst get anything; at least thou wilt persuade him that thou thinkest so, and that is sufficient. Tom, Tom, thou hast no policy in thee.”

“Tom,” the old gentleman calls out, “until you get over your arrogance, I won’t have any hope for you. If you’re smart, you’ll see every man as better than you if you can gain something from him; at the very least, you should make him believe that you think so, and that’s enough. Tom, Tom, you have no strategy in you.”

“What have I been learning these seven years,” answered he, “in the university? However, father, I can account for your opinion. It is the common failing of old men to attribute all wisdom to themselves. Nestor did it long ago: but, if you will inquire my character at college, I fancy you will not think I want to go to school again.”

“What have I been learning these seven years,” he replied, “at the university? But, Dad, I get why you think that. It's a common trait among older guys to believe they have all the wisdom. Nestor did that ages ago. But if you check with my professors at college, I think you’ll see I’m not eager to go back to school.”

The father and son then went to take their walk, during which the former repeated many good lessons of policy to his son, not greatly perhaps to his edification. In truth, if the old gentleman’s fondness had not in a great measure blinded him to the imperfections of his son, he would have soon perceived that he was sowing all his instructions in a soil so choaked with self-conceit that it was utterly impossible they should ever bear any fruit.

The father and son then went for a walk, during which the father shared many important lessons about life with his son, though it probably didn't help him much. Honestly, if the father’s affection hadn’t largely blinded him to his son’s flaws, he would have quickly realized that he was trying to plant his teachings in a mind so filled with self-importance that they could never take root.










BOOK X.










Chapter i. — To which we will prefix no preface.

The doctor found Amelia alone, for Booth was gone to walk with his new-revived acquaintance, Captain Trent, who seemed so pleased with the renewal of his intercourse with his old brother-officer, that he had been almost continually with him from the time of their meeting at the drum.

The doctor found Amelia alone, since Booth had gone for a walk with his recently reconnected friend, Captain Trent, who was so happy to rekindle his friendship with his old fellow officer that he had been almost constantly with him since they ran into each other at the drum.

Amelia acquainted the doctor with the purport of her message, as follows: “I ask your pardon, my dear sir, for troubling you so often with my affairs; but I know your extreme readiness, as well as ability, to assist any one with your advice. The fact is, that my husband hath been presented by Colonel James with two tickets for a masquerade, which is to be in a day or two, and he insists so strongly on my going with him, that I really do not know how to refuse without giving him some reason; and I am not able to invent any other than the true one, which you would not, I am sure, advise me to communicate to him. Indeed I had a most narrow escape the other day; for I was almost drawn in inadvertently by a very strange accident, to acquaint him with the whole matter.” She then related the serjeant’s dream, with all the consequences that attended it.

Amelia updated the doctor on the purpose of her message, saying: “I apologize for bothering you so much with my personal matters, but I know how willing and capable you are to offer advice to anyone. The truth is, my husband received two tickets to a masquerade from Colonel James, which is happening in a day or two, and he’s insisting that I go with him. I really don’t know how to say no without giving him a reason, and I can’t think of any excuse other than the truth, which I’m sure you wouldn’t advise me to share with him. In fact, I almost revealed everything the other day because of a very strange incident that almost led me to tell him everything.” She then shared the sergeant’s dream and all the consequences that came from it.

The doctor considered a little with himself, and then said, “I am really, child, puzzled as well as you about this matter. I would by no means have you go to the masquerade; I do not indeed like the diversion itself, as I have heard it described to me; not that I am such a prude to suspect every woman who goes there of any evil intentions; but it is a pleasure of too loose and disorderly a kind for the recreation of a sober mind. Indeed, you have still a stronger and more particular objection. I will try myself to reason him out of it.”

The doctor thought for a moment and then said, “Honestly, I’m just as confused as you are about this. I really don’t want you to go to the masquerade; I’ve heard enough about it not to like the idea. It’s not that I’m so conservative that I assume every woman there has bad intentions, but it seems like a chaotic and inappropriate kind of fun for someone with a serious mindset. Plus, you have even stronger reasons against it. I’ll try to persuade him to change his mind.”

“Indeed it is impossible,” answered she; “and therefore I would not set you about it. I never saw him more set on anything. There is a party, as they call it, made on the occasion; and he tells me my refusal will disappoint all.”

“Honestly, it’s impossible,” she replied. “That’s why I wouldn’t want to push you into it. I’ve never seen him so determined about anything. There’s a gathering, as they call it, planned for this; and he tells me that my saying no will let everyone down.”

“I really do not know what to advise you,” cries the doctor; “I have told you I do not approve of these diversions; but yet, as your husband is so very desirous, I cannot think there will be any harm in going with him. However, I will consider of it, and do all in my power for you.”

“I honestly don’t know what to suggest,” the doctor exclaims; “I’ve told you I don’t approve of these activities, but since your husband is so keen on it, I can’t see any harm in you going with him. Still, I’ll think about it and do everything I can to help you.”

Here Mrs. Atkinson came in, and the discourse on this subject ceased; but soon after Amelia renewed it, saying there was no occasion to keep anything a secret from her friend. They then fell to debating on the subject, but could not come to any resolution. But Mrs. Atkinson, who was in an unusual flow of spirits, cried out, “Fear nothing, my dear Amelia, two women surely will be too hard for one man. I think, doctor, it exceeds Virgil:

Here Mrs. Atkinson came in, and the conversation on this topic stopped; but soon after, Amelia brought it up again, saying there was no reason to keep anything a secret from her friend. They then started discussing the subject, but couldn’t reach any conclusion. However, Mrs. Atkinson, who was unusually cheerful, exclaimed, “Don’t worry, my dear Amelia, two women are definitely a match for one man. I think, doctor, it surpasses Virgil:

    Una dolo divum si faemina victa duorum est.”
 
If a woman is defeated by two, it is the fault of the gods.

“Very well repeated, indeed!” cries the doctor. “Do you understand all Virgil as well as you seem to do that line?”

“Very well said, indeed!” the doctor exclaims. “Do you understand all of Virgil as well as you seem to understand that line?”

“I hope I do, sir,” said she, “and Horace too; or else my father threw away his time to very little purpose in teaching me.”

“I hope I do, sir,” she said, “and Horace too; otherwise, my father wasted his time teaching me.”

“I ask your pardon, madam,” cries the doctor. “I own it was an impertinent question.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” the doctor exclaims. “I admit it was a rude question.”

“Not at all, sir,” says she; “and if you are one of those who imagine women incapable of learning, I shall not be offended at it. I know the common opinion; but

“Not at all, sir,” she says; “and if you think women are unable to learn, I won’t take offense. I understand the usual belief; but

    Interdum vulgus rectum videt, est ubi peccat.”
 
Sometimes the crowd sees what's right, but there are times it goes wrong.

“If I was to profess such an opinion, madam,” said the doctor, “Madam Dacier and yourself would bear testimony against me. The utmost indeed that I should venture would be to question the utility of learning in a young lady’s education.”

“If I were to express such an opinion, ma'am,” said the doctor, “Madam Dacier and you would testify against me. The most I would dare to do is question the usefulness of education for a young lady.”

“I own,” said Mrs. Atkinson, “as the world is constituted, it cannot be as serviceable to her fortune as it will be to that of a man; but you will allow, doctor, that learning may afford a woman, at least, a reasonable and an innocent entertainment.”

“I believe,” said Mrs. Atkinson, “that as the world is set up, it won’t benefit a woman’s fortune as much as it will a man’s; but you have to agree, doctor, that education can provide a woman with, at the very least, a reasonable and harmless way to pass the time.”

“But I will suppose,” cried the doctor, “it may have its inconveniences. As, for instance, if a learned lady should meet with an unlearned husband, might she not be apt to despise him?”

“But I’ll assume,” the doctor exclaimed, “it could have its downsides. For example, if an educated woman marries a man who isn’t well-educated, might she not look down on him?”

“I think not,” cries Mrs. Atkinson—“and, if I may be allowed the instance, I think I have shewn, myself, that women who have learning themselves can be contented without that qualification in a man.”

“I don't think so,” Mrs. Atkinson exclaims. “And if I can use an example, I believe I've shown that women who are educated themselves can be satisfied without that quality in a man.”

“To be sure,” cries the doctor, “there may be other qualifications which may have their weight in the balance. But let us take the other side of the question, and suppose the learned of both sexes to meet in the matrimonial union, may it not afford one excellent subject of disputation, which is the most learned?”

“Of course,” the doctor exclaims, “there might be other qualifications that could matter. But let’s consider the other side of the issue: if well-educated individuals of both genders come together in marriage, wouldn’t that provide an excellent topic for debate about who is the more educated?”

“Not at all,” cries Mrs. Atkinson; “for, if they had both learning and good sense, they would soon see on which side the superiority lay.”

“Not at all,” Mrs. Atkinson exclaims; “because if they had both knowledge and common sense, they would quickly realize where the superiority is.”

“But if the learned man,” said the doctor, “should be a little unreasonable in his opinion, are you sure that the learned woman would preserve her duty to her husband, and submit?”

“But if the educated man,” said the doctor, “is a bit unreasonable in his opinion, are you sure that the educated woman would still uphold her duty to her husband and comply?”

“But why,” cries Mrs. Atkinson, “must we necessarily suppose that a learned man would be unreasonable?”

“But why,” exclaims Mrs. Atkinson, “should we assume that a knowledgeable person would be unreasonable?”

“Nay, madam,” said the doctor, “I am not your husband; and you shall not hinder me from supposing what I please. Surely it is not such a paradox to conceive that a man of learning should be unreasonable. Are there no unreasonable opinions in very learned authors, even among the critics themselves? For instance, what can be a more strange, and indeed unreasonable opinion, than to prefer the Metamorphoses of Ovid to the AEneid of Virgil?”

“Naw, ma’am,” said the doctor, “I’m not your husband; and you can’t stop me from thinking whatever I want. It’s not really a stretch to believe that a well-educated person can be unreasonable. Aren’t there unreasonable opinions even among very educated authors, including the critics themselves? For example, what could be a stranger, and honestly unreasonable opinion, than preferring the Metamorphoses of Ovid over the Aeneid of Virgil?”

“It would be indeed so strange,” cries the lady, “that you shall not persuade me it was ever the opinion of any man.”

“It would be so strange,” the lady exclaims, “that you can’t convince me it was ever anyone’s opinion.”

“Perhaps not,” cries the doctor; “and I believe you and I should not differ in our judgments of any person who maintained such an opinion—What a taste must he have!”

“Maybe not,” the doctor exclaims; “and I think you and I should agree on how we view anyone who holds such an opinion—What terrible taste they must have!”

“A most contemptible one indeed,” cries Mrs. Atkinson.

"A truly despicable person," Mrs. Atkinson exclaims.

“I am satisfied,” cries the doctor. “And in the words of your own Horace, Verbum non amplius addam.”

“I’m satisfied,” the doctor exclaims. “And in the words of your own Horace, Verbum non amplius addam.”

“But how provoking is this,” cries Mrs. Atkinson, “to draw one in such a manner! I protest I was so warm in the defence of my favourite Virgil, that I was not aware of your design; but all your triumph depends on a supposition that one should be so unfortunate as to meet with the silliest fellow in the world.”

“But how infuriating is this,” exclaims Mrs. Atkinson, “to pull someone in like that! I swear I was so passionate in defending my favorite Virgil that I didn’t notice your plan; but all your success relies on the assumption that someone would be unlucky enough to encounter the most foolish person in the world.”

“Not in the least,” cries the doctor. “Doctor Bentley was not such a person; and yet he would have quarrelled, I am convinced, with any wife in the world, in behalf of one of his corrections. I don’t suppose he would have given up his Ingentia Fata to an angel.”

“Not at all,” the doctor exclaims. “Doctor Bentley wasn’t that kind of person; yet I’m sure he would have argued with any wife in the world over one of his corrections. I don’t think he would have traded his Ingentia Fata for an angel.”

“But do you think,” said she, “if I had loved him, I would have contended with him?”

“But do you think,” she said, “that if I had loved him, I would have put up with him?”

“Perhaps you might sometimes,” said the doctor, “be of these sentiments; but you remember your own Virgil—Varium et mutabile semper faemina.”

“Maybe sometimes you feel this way,” said the doctor, “but remember your own Virgil—Varium et mutabile semper faemina.”

“Nay, Amelia,” said Mrs. Atkinson, “you are now concerned as well as I am; for he hath now abused the whole sex, and quoted the severest thing that ever was said against us, though I allow it is one of the finest.”

“Nah, Amelia,” said Mrs. Atkinson, “you’re just as worried as I am; because he has now insulted all women and quoted the harshest thing ever said against us, even though I admit it's one of the best.”

“With all my heart, my dear,” cries Amelia. “I have the advantage of you, however, for I don’t understand him.”

“Absolutely, my dear,” Amelia exclaims. “But I have the upper hand because I don’t get him.”

“Nor doth she understand much better than yourself,” cries the doctor; “or she would not admire nonsense, even though in Virgil.”

“Nor does she understand much better than you do,” the doctor exclaims; “or she wouldn't admire nonsense, even if it's in Virgil.”

“Pardon me, sir,” said she.

“Excuse me, sir,” she said.

“And pardon me, madam,” cries the doctor, with a feigned seriousness; “I say, a boy in the fourth form at Eton would be whipt, or would deserve to be whipt at least, who made the neuter gender agree with the feminine. You have heard, however, that Virgil left his AEneid incorrect; and, perhaps, had he lived to correct it, we should not have seen the faults we now see in it.”

“And excuse me, ma’am,” the doctor exclaims with a mock-seriousness, “I mean, a boy in the fourth year at Eton would be punished, or at least deserve to be punished, if he made the neuter gender agree with the feminine. You may have heard that Virgil left his Aeneid flawed; and maybe if he had lived to fix it, we wouldn’t see the mistakes we see in it today.”

“Why, it is very true as you say, doctor,” cries Mrs. Atkinson; “there seems to be a false concord. I protest I never thought of it before.”

“Why, you’re absolutely right, doctor,” Mrs. Atkinson exclaims; “there appears to be a false agreement. I honestly never considered it before.”

“And yet this is the Virgil,” answered the doctor, “that you are so fond of, who hath made you all of the neuter gender; or, as we say in English, he hath made mere animals of you; for, if we translate it thus,

“And yet this is the Virgil,” replied the doctor, “that you are so fond of, who has turned you all into the neuter gender; or, as we say in English, he has made mere animals out of you; because, if we translate it this way,

    “Woman is a various and changeable animal,
“Woman is a diverse and unpredictable being,

“there will be no fault, I believe, unless in point of civility to the ladies.”

“there won’t be any fault, I believe, except in terms of courtesy to the ladies.”

Mrs. Atkinson had just time to tell the doctor he was a provoking creature, before the arrival of Booth and his friend put an end to that learned discourse, in which neither of the parties had greatly recommended themselves to each other; the doctor’s opinion of the lady being not at all heightened by her progress in the classics, and she, on the other hand, having conceived a great dislike in her heart towards the doctor, which would have raged, perhaps, with no less fury from the consideration that he had been her husband.

Mrs. Atkinson barely had time to tell the doctor he was an annoying person before Booth and his friend arrived, interrupting their discussion, which had not been particularly flattering for either side. The doctor didn’t think much more of her just because she was well-read in the classics, and she, on her part, had developed a strong dislike for him, which might have been even more intense considering he had been her husband.










Chapter ii. — What happened at the masquerade.

From this time to the day of the masquerade nothing happened of consequence enough to have a place in this history.

From that time until the day of the masquerade, nothing significant happened that would be worth mentioning in this story.

On that day Colonel James came to Booth’s about nine in the evening, where he stayed for Mrs. James, who did not come till near eleven. The four masques then set out together in several chairs, and all proceeded to the Haymarket.

On that day, Colonel James arrived at Booth's around nine in the evening, where he waited for Mrs. James, who didn't show up until almost eleven. The four masked individuals then set out together in separate chairs and all headed to the Haymarket.

When they arrived at the Opera-house the colonel and Mrs. James presently left them; nor did Booth and his lady remain long together, but were soon divided from each other by different masques.

When they arrived at the opera house, the colonel and Mrs. James quickly left them; nor did Booth and his lady stay together long, as they were soon separated by different masks.

A domino soon accosted the lady, and had her away to the upper end of the farthest room on the right hand, where both the masques sat down; nor was it long before the he domino began to make very fervent love to the she. It would, perhaps, be tedious to the reader to run through the whole process, which was not indeed in the most romantick stile. The lover seemed to consider his mistress as a mere woman of this world, and seemed rather to apply to her avarice and ambition than to her softer passions.

A domino soon approached the lady and took her to the farthest end of the room on the right, where both masks sat down. It wasn't long before the male domino began to flirt passionately with the female. It might be a bit tedious for the reader to go through the entire process, which wasn't exactly in the most romantic style. The lover seemed to see his mistress as just an ordinary woman and appealed more to her greed and ambition than to her gentler emotions.

As he was not so careful to conceal his true voice as the lady was, she soon discovered that this lover of her’s was no other than her old friend the peer, and presently a thought suggested itself to her of making an advantage of this accident. She gave him therefore an intimation that she knew him, and expressed some astonishment at his having found her out. “I suspect,” says she, “my lord, that you have a friend in the woman where I now lodge, as well as you had in Mrs. Ellison.” My lord protested the contrary. To which she answered, “Nay, my lord, do not defend her so earnestly till you are sure I should have been angry with her.”

As he wasn't as careful to hide his true voice as the lady was, she quickly realized that this lover of hers was none other than her old friend, the peer. Soon, an idea came to her about taking advantage of this situation. She hinted that she recognized him and expressed some surprise that he had figured her out. “I suspect,” she said, “my lord, that you have a friend in the woman where I’m currently staying, just like you did with Mrs. Ellison.” My lord denied it. To which she replied, “Come now, my lord, don’t defend her so passionately until you're sure I would have been upset with her.”

At these words, which were accompanied with a very bewitching softness, my lord flew into raptures rather too strong for the place he was in. These the lady gently checked, and begged him to take care they were not observed; for that her husband, for aught she knew, was then in the room.

At these words, which were delivered with an enchanting tenderness, my lord became overly ecstatic for the setting he was in. The lady subtly restrained him and kindly asked him to be cautious not to draw attention; for her husband, as far as she knew, might be in the room at that moment.

Colonel James came now up, and said, “So, madam, I have the good fortune to find you again; I have been extremely miserable since I lost you.” The lady answered in her masquerade voice that she did not know him. “I am Colonel James,” said he, in a whisper. “Indeed, sir,” answered she, “you are mistaken; I have no acquaintance with any Colonel James.” “Madam,” answered he, in a whisper likewise, “I am positive I am not mistaken, you are certainly Mrs. Booth.” “Indeed, sir,” said she, “you are very impertinent, and I beg you will leave me.” My lord then interposed, and, speaking in his own voice, assured the colonel that the lady was a woman of quality, and that they were engaged in a conversation together; upon which the colonel asked the lady’s pardon; for, as there was nothing remarkable in her dress, he really believed he had been mistaken.

Colonel James approached and said, “So, ma'am, I'm fortunate to find you again; I've been really unhappy since I lost you.” The lady replied in her masked voice that she didn't know him. “I’m Colonel James,” he whispered. “Actually, sir,” she responded, “you’re mistaken; I have no acquaintance with any Colonel James.” “Ma’am,” he replied softly, “I’m sure I’m not mistaken, you are definitely Mrs. Booth.” “Honestly, sir,” she said, “you are very rude, and I ask that you leave me alone.” My lord then stepped in and, speaking in his own voice, assured the colonel that the lady was of high status and that they were in conversation together; upon hearing this, the colonel apologized to the lady, saying that since there was nothing remarkable about her outfit, he really believed he had made a mistake.

He then went again a hunting through the rooms, and soon after found Booth walking without his mask between two ladies, one of whom was in a blue domino, and the other in the dress of a shepherdess. “Will,” cries the colonel, “do you know what is become of our wives; for I have seen neither of them since we have been in the room?” Booth answered, “That he supposed they were both together, and they should find them by and by.” “What!” cries the lady in the blue domino, “are you both come upon duty then with your wives? as for yours, Mr. Alderman,” said she to the colonel, “I make no question but she is got into much better company than her husband’s.” “How can you be so cruel, madam?” said the shepherdess; “you will make him beat his wife by and by, for he is a military man I assure you.” “In the trained bands, I presume,” cries the domino, “for he is plainly dated from the city.” “I own, indeed,” cries the other, “the gentleman smells strongly of Thames-street, and, if I may venture to guess, of the honourable calling of a taylor.”

He then went hunting through the rooms again and soon found Booth walking without his mask between two ladies, one dressed in a blue domino and the other in a shepherdess costume. “Will,” the colonel exclaimed, “do you know what’s happened to our wives? I haven’t seen either of them since we got here.” Booth replied, “I figured they were together, and we’ll find them soon.” “What!” the lady in the blue domino said, “are you both on duty with your wives then? As for yours, Mr. Alderman,” she said to the colonel, “I have no doubt she’s in much better company than her husband.” “How can you be so cruel, ma’am?” said the shepherdess; “you’ll make him hit his wife soon, since he’s a military man, I assure you.” “In the militia, I assume,” the domino commented, “since he’s obviously from the city.” “I must admit,” replied the other, “the gentleman has a strong scent of Thames Street, and if I may take a guess, of the honorable profession of a tailor.”

“Why, what the devil hast thou picked up here?” cries James.

“Why, what the hell have you found here?” James exclaims.

“Upon my soul, I don’t know,” answered Booth; “I wish you would take one of them at least.”

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Booth replied. “I wish you would at least take one of them.”

“What say you, madam?” cries the domino, “will you go with the colonel? I assure you, you have mistaken your man, for he is no less a person than the great Colonel James himself.”

“What do you say, ma'am?” the domino exclaims, “will you go with the colonel? I assure you, you've got the wrong guy, because he is none other than the great Colonel James himself.”

{Illustration: Booth between the blue domino and a Shepherdess.}

{Illustration: Booth between the blue domino and a Shepherdess.}

“No wonder, then, that Mr. Booth gives him his choice of us; it is the proper office of a caterer, in which capacity Mr. Booth hath, I am told, the honour to serve the noble colonel.”

“No wonder, then, that Mr. Booth gives him his choice of us; it's the proper role of a caterer, in which capacity Mr. Booth has, I’m told, the honor to serve the noble colonel.”

“Much good may it do you with your ladies!” said James; “I will go in pursuit of better game.” At which words he walked off.

“Hope it works out for you with your ladies!” said James; “I’m off to find something better.” With that, he walked away.

“You are a true sportsman,” cries the shepherdess; “for your only pleasure, I believe, lies in the pursuit.”

“You're a real sportsman,” the shepherdess exclaims; “I think your only joy comes from the chase.”

“Do you know the gentleman, madam?” cries the domino.

“Do you know this guy, ma'am?” calls out the person in the mask.

“Who doth not know him?” answered the shepherdess.

“Who doesn’t know him?” replied the shepherdess.

“What is his character?” cries the domino; “for, though I have jested with him, I only know him by sight.”

“What’s his character?” asks the domino; “because, even though I’ve joked with him, I only know him by sight.”

“I know nothing very particular in his character,” cries the shepherdess. “He gets every handsome woman he can, and so they do all.”

“I don’t know anything specific about his character,” the shepherdess exclaims. “He goes after every attractive woman he can, and so do all of them.”

“I suppose then he is not married?” said the domino.

“I guess that means he’s not married?” said the domino.

“O yes! and married for love too,” answered the other; “but he hath loved away all his love for her long ago, and now, he says, she makes as fine an object of hatred. I think, if the fellow ever appears to have any wit, it is when he abuses his wife; and, luckily for him, that is his favourite topic. I don’t know the poor wretch, but, as he describes her, it is a miserable animal.”

“O yes! and married for love too,” the other replied; “but he’s long since stopped loving her, and now, he claims she’s just a perfect target for his hatred. I think the only time he shows any cleverness is when he talks trash about his wife; and luckily for him, that’s his favorite subject. I don’t know the poor guy, but based on how he describes her, she sounds like a miserable person.”

“I know her very well,” cries the other; “and I am much mistaken if she is not even with him; but hang him! what is become of Booth?”

“I know her really well,” shouts the other; “and I’d be very surprised if she isn’t with him; but damn it! what happened to Booth?”

At this instant a great noise arose near that part where the two ladies were. This was occasioned by a large assembly of young fellows whom they call bucks, who were got together, and were enjoying, as the phrase is, a letter, which one of them had found in the room.

At that moment, a loud commotion erupted near where the two ladies were. This was caused by a large group of young guys they refer to as bucks, who had gathered together and were enjoying, as they say, a letter that one of them had discovered in the room.

Curiosity hath its votaries among all ranks of people; whenever therefore an object of this appears it is as sure of attracting a croud in the assemblies of the polite as in those of their inferiors.

Curiosity has its followers among all kinds of people; therefore, whenever something piques that curiosity, it’s guaranteed to draw a crowd in both polite gatherings and those of lower status.

When this croud was gathered together, one of the bucks, at the desire of his companions, as well as of all present, performed the part of a public orator, and read out the following letter, which we shall give the reader, together with the comments of the orator himself, and of all his audience.

When this crowd was gathered, one of the guys, at the request of his friends and everyone there, stepped up as a public speaker and read the following letter, which we will share with the reader, along with the remarks from the speaker himself and everyone in the audience.

The orator then, being mounted on a bench, began as follows:

The speaker then, standing on a bench, started by saying:

“Here beginneth the first chapter of—saint—Pox on’t, Jack, what is the saint’s name? I have forgot.”

“Here begins the first chapter of—saint—Darn it, Jack, what’s the saint’s name? I can’t remember.”

“Timothy, you blockhead,” answered another; “—Timothy.”

“Timothy, you idiot,” replied another; “—Timothy.”

“Well, then,” cries the orator, “of Saint Timothy.

“Well, then,” cries the speaker, “of Saint Timothy.

“‘SIR,—I am very sorry to have any occasion of writing on the following subject in a country that is honoured with the name of Christian; much more am I concerned to address myself to a man whose many advantages, derived both from nature and fortune, should demand the highest return of gratitude to the great Giver of all those good things. Is not such a man guilty of the highest ingratitude to that most beneficent Being, by a direct and avowed disobedience of his most positive laws and commands?

“Dear Sir, I really regret having to write about the following topic in a country that proudly calls itself Christian; I am even more troubled to speak to a person like you, who has so many advantages from both nature and fortune, which should inspire the deepest gratitude to the generous source of all these blessings. Isn’t someone like that committing the greatest act of ingratitude to that incredibly kind Being by openly and willfully disobeying His clear laws and commands?”

“‘I need not tell you that adultery is forbid in the laws of the decalogue; nor need I, I hope, mention that it is expressly forbid in the New Testament.’

“‘I don’t need to tell you that adultery is prohibited by the laws of the Ten Commandments; nor do I, I hope, need to mention that it is explicitly forbidden in the New Testament.’”

“You see, therefore,” said the orator, “what the law is, and therefore none of you will be able to plead ignorance when you come to the Old Bailey in the other world. But here goes again:—

“You see, therefore,” said the speaker, “what the law is, and so none of you will be able to claim ignorance when you get to the Old Bailey in the next world. But here’s another attempt:—

“‘If it had not been so expressly forbidden in Scripture, still the law of Nature would have yielded light enough for us to have discovered the great horror and atrociousness of this crime.

“‘Even if it hadn’t been clearly prohibited in Scripture, the laws of Nature would have still provided enough insight for us to recognize the terrible nature and awfulness of this crime.

“‘And accordingly we find that nations, where the Sun of righteousness hath yet never shined, have punished the adulterer with the most exemplary pains and penalties; not only the polite heathens, but the most barbarous nations, have concurred in these; in many places the most severe and shameful corporal punishments, and in some, and those not a few, death itself hath been inflicted on this crime.

“‘And so we see that nations where the light of righteousness has never shone have punished adulterers with the harshest consequences; not only the civilized nations but also the most primitive societies have agreed on this. In many places, there have been extremely severe and humiliating physical punishments, and in some—quite a few—cases, death has been the penalty for this crime.

“‘And sure in a human sense there is scarce any guilt which deserves to be more severely punished. It includes in it almost every injury and every mischief which one man can do to, or can bring on, another. It is robbing him of his property—’

“‘And in a human sense, there’s hardly any guilt that deserves to be punished more harshly. It encompasses almost every harm and every wrongdoing that one person can inflict on, or cause to happen to, another. It’s taking away his property—’”

“Mind that, ladies,” said the orator; “you are all the property of your husbands.—‘And of that property which, if he is a good man, he values above all others. It is poisoning that fountain whence he hath a right to derive the sweetest and most innocent pleasure, the most cordial comfort, the most solid friendship, and most faithful assistance in all his affairs, wants, and distresses. It is the destruction of his peace of mind, and even of his reputation. The ruin of both wife and husband, and sometimes of the whole family, are the probable consequence of this fatal injury. Domestic happiness is the end of almost all our pursuits, and the common reward of all our pains. When men find themselves for ever barred from this delightful fruition, they are lost to all industry, and grow careless of all their worldly affairs. Thus they become bad subjects, bad relations, bad friends, and bad men. Hatred and revenge are the wretched passions which boil in their minds. Despair and madness very commonly ensue, and murder and suicide often close the dreadful scene.’

“Listen up, ladies,” said the speaker; “you all belong to your husbands. —‘And of that belonging, which, if he’s a good man, he treasures above all else. It’s poisoning the source from which he has the right to draw the sweetest and most innocent joy, the warmest comfort, the strongest friendship, and the most reliable help in all his needs, desires, and troubles. It destroys his peace of mind, and even his reputation. The downfall of both wife and husband, and sometimes the entire family, are likely results of this devastating harm. Domestic happiness is the goal of almost everything we pursue, and the common reward for all our efforts. When men find themselves forever shut out from this delightful fulfillment, they lose all motivation and neglect all their worldly responsibilities. As a result, they become untrustworthy citizens, bad relatives, unfaithful friends, and generally poor men. Hatred and revenge are the miserable feelings that fester in their minds. Despair and madness frequently follow, and murder and suicide often bring this tragic story to a close.’

“Thus, gentlemen and ladies, you see the scene is closed. So here ends the first act—and thus begins the second:—

“So, ladies and gentlemen, you can see the scene is finished. This marks the end of the first act—and now the second act begins:—

“‘I have here attempted to lay before you a picture of this vice, the horror of which no colours of mine can exaggerate. But what pencil can delineate the horrors of that punishment which the Scripture denounces against it?

“I’ve tried to show you a picture of this vice, the horror of which no words can exaggerate. But what artist can capture the terrors of the punishment that Scripture warns us about?”

“‘And for what will you subject yourself to this punishment? or for what reward will you inflict all this misery on another? I will add, on your friend? for the possession of a woman; for the pleasure of a moment? But, if neither virtue nor religion can restrain your inordinate appetites, are there not many women as handsome as your friend’s wife, whom, though not with innocence, you may possess with a much less degree of guilt? What motive then can thus hurry you on to the destruction of yourself and your friend? doth the peculiar rankness of the guilt add any zest to the sin? doth it enhance the pleasure as much as we may be assured it will the punishment?

“‘And why would you put yourself through this punishment? Or what reward makes you want to cause so much pain to another? I’ll add, to your friend? For the possession of a woman, for a fleeting moment of pleasure? But, if neither virtue nor religion can curb your excessive desires, aren’t there plenty of women just as attractive as your friend’s wife, whom you could have, even if it’s not innocent, with much less guilt? What could possibly drive you towards the destruction of yourself and your friend? Does the uniqueness of the guilt make the sin more appealing? Does it boost the pleasure as much as it’s guaranteed to increase the punishment?’

“‘But if you can be so lost to all sense of fear, and of shame, and of goodness, as not to be debarred by the evil which you are to bring on yourself, by the extreme baseness of the action, nor by the ruin in which you are to involve others, let me still urge the difficulty, I may say, the impossibility of the success. You are attacking a fortress on a rock; a chastity so strongly defended, as well by a happy natural disposition of mind as by the strongest principles of religion and virtue, implanted by education and nourished and improved by habit, that the woman must be invincible even without that firm and constant affection of her husband which would guard a much looser and worse-disposed heart. What therefore are you attempting but to introduce distrust, and perhaps disunion, between an innocent and a happy couple, in which too you cannot succeed without bringing, I am convinced, certain destruction on your own head?

“‘But if you can be so completely devoid of fear, shame, and goodness that the evil you are about to inflict on yourself, the extreme baseness of your actions, and the ruin you will cause others don’t hold you back, let me still highlight the challenge, or I might say, the impossibility of your success. You are trying to attack a fortress on a rock; a virtue that is so well defended, both by a naturally good disposition and by the strongest principles of faith and morality, instilled through education and reinforced by habit, that the woman is bound to be invulnerable even without the strong and devoted love of her husband, which would protect a much less virtuous heart. So, what are you really attempting but to sow distrust and possibly divide an innocent and happy couple, in which case you won’t succeed without bringing certain ruin upon yourself, I am sure?’”

“‘Desist, therefore, let me advise you, from this enormous crime; retreat from the vain attempt of climbing a precipice which it is impossible you should ever ascend, where you must probably soon fall into utter perdition, and can have no other hope but of dragging down your best friend into perdition with you.

“‘Stop, let me advise you, from this huge mistake; back away from the pointless attempt to climb a cliff that you can never ascend, where you will likely soon fall into complete destruction, and can have no other hope but of dragging your best friend down with you.

“‘I can think of but one argument more, and that, indeed, a very bad one; you throw away that time in an impossible attempt, which might, in other places, crown your sinful endeavours with success.’

“‘I can think of only one more argument, and honestly, it’s a really weak one; you’re wasting your time on a hopeless effort, which could, in other circumstances, reward your wrongdoings with success.’”

“And so ends the dismal ditty.”

“And so ends the sad song.”

“D—n me,” cries one, “did ever mortal hear such d—ned stuff?”

“Damn me,” yells one, “has anyone ever heard such damn nonsense?”

“Upon my soul,” said another, “I like the last argument well enough. There is some sense in that; for d—n me if I had not rather go to D—g—ss at any time than follow a virtuous b—— for a fortnight.”

“Honestly,” said another, “I actually like the last point a lot. There’s some logic to that; because, damn it, I’d rather go to D—g—ss any day than follow a virtuous b—— for two weeks.”

“Tom,” says one of them, “let us set the ditty to music; let us subscribe to have it set by Handel; it will make an excellent oratorio.”

“Tom,” says one of them, “let’s put the song to music; let’s sponsor it to be composed by Handel; it will make a fantastic oratorio.”

“D—n me, Jack,” says another, “we’ll have it set to a psalm-tune, and we’ll sing it next Sunday at St James’s church, and I’ll bear a bob, d—n me.”

“Damn me, Jack,” says another, “we’ll set it to a psalm tune, and we’ll sing it next Sunday at St. James’s church, and I’ll chip in a dollar, damn me.”

“Fie upon it! gentlemen, fie upon it!” said a frier, who came up; “do you think there is any wit and humour in this ribaldry; or, if there were, would it make any atonement for abusing religion and virtue?”

“Shame on you! gentlemen, shame on you!” said a friar who approached; “do you really think there's any wit or humor in this nonsense? Or, if there were, would it make up for insulting religion and virtue?”

“Heyday!” cries one, “this is a frier in good earnest.”

“Wow!” one shouts, “this is a serious fryer.”

“Whatever I am,” said the frier, “I hope at least you are what you appear to be. Heaven forbid, for the sake of our posterity, that you should be gentlemen.”

“Whatever I am,” said the friar, “I just hope you are what you seem to be. God forbid, for the sake of our future generations, that you should be gentlemen.”

“Jack,” cries one, “let us toss the frier in a blanket.”

“Jack,” one cries, “let's throw the frier in a blanket.”

“Me in a blanket?” said the frier: “by the dignity of man, I will twist the neck of every one of you as sure as ever the neck of a dunghill-cock was twisted.” At which words he pulled off his mask, and the tremendous majesty of Colonel Bath appeared, from which the bucks fled away as fast as the Trojans heretofore from the face of Achilles. The colonel did not think it worth while to pursue any other of them except him who had the letter in his hand, which the colonel desired to see, and the other delivered, saying it was very much at his service.

“Me in a blanket?” said the fryer. “By the dignity of man, I’ll twist the neck of every one of you just like a dunghill rooster.” With that, he took off his mask, revealing the impressive presence of Colonel Bath, causing the others to flee as quickly as the Trojans did from Achilles. The colonel didn’t think it was worth chasing anyone else except the one holding the letter, which he wanted to see, and the man handed it over, saying it was entirely at his service.

The colonel being possessed of the letter, retired as privately as he could, in order to give it a careful perusal; for, badly as it had been read by the orator, there were some passages in it which had pleased the colonel. He had just gone through it when Booth passed by him; upon which the colonel called to him, and, delivering him the letter, bid him put it in his pocket and read it at his leisure. He made many encomiums upon it, and told Booth it would be of service to him, and was proper for all young men to read.

The colonel, having the letter in his possession, slipped away as discreetly as he could to read it carefully; even though the orator had read it poorly, there were parts of it that the colonel found appealing. Just as he finished reading, Booth walked by, and the colonel called out to him. He handed Booth the letter and asked him to tuck it into his pocket and read it when he had time. He praised the letter highly and told Booth it would be helpful for him and that all young men should read it.

Booth had not yet seen his wife; but, as he concluded she was safe with Mrs. James, he was not uneasy. He had been prevented searching farther after her by the lady in the blue domino, who had joined him again. Booth had now made these discoveries: that the lady was pretty well acquainted with him, that she was a woman of fashion, and that she had a particular regard for him. But, though he was a gay man, he was in reality so fond of his Amelia, that he thought of no other woman; wherefore, though not absolutely a Joseph, as we have already seen, yet could he not be guilty of premeditated inconstancy. He was indeed so very cold and insensible to the hints which were given him, that the lady began to complain of his dullness. When the shepherdess again came up and heard this accusation against him, she confirmed it, saying, “I do assure you, madam, he is the dullest fellow in the world. Indeed, I should almost take you for his wife, by finding you a second time with him; for I do assure you the gentleman very seldom keeps any other company.” “Are you so well acquainted with him, madam?” said the domino. “I have had that honour longer than your ladyship, I believe,” answered the shepherdess. “Possibly you may, madam,” cries the domino; “but I wish you would not interrupt us at present, for we have some business together.” “I believe, madam,” answered the shepherdess, “my business with the gentleman is altogether as important as yours; and therefore your ladyship may withdraw if you please.” “My dear ladies,” cries Booth, “I beg you will not quarrel about me.” “Not at all,” answered the domino; “since you are so indifferent, I resign my pretensions with all my heart. If you had not been the dullest fellow upon earth, I am convinced you must have discovered me.” She then went off, muttering to herself that she was satisfied the shepherdess was some wretched creature whom nobody knew.

Booth had not seen his wife yet, but since he assumed she was safe with Mrs. James, he wasn't worried. His search for her had been interrupted by the lady in the blue domino, who had joined him again. Booth had now figured out a few things: that the lady was quite familiar with him, that she was fashionable, and that she held a special fondness for him. However, although he was a charming man, he was truly so in love with Amelia that he couldn’t think of any other woman; thus, even though he wasn't completely innocent, he couldn't be accused of planned unfaithfulness. In fact, he was so oblivious to the hints being dropped that the lady started to complain about his dullness. When the shepherdess came over again and heard this claim against him, she backed it up, saying, “I assure you, madam, he’s the dullest guy in the world. Honestly, I would almost think you were his wife, since I find you with him again; I can tell you that the gentleman usually doesn’t associate with anyone else.” “Are you so familiar with him, madam?” asked the domino. “I believe I have had that privilege longer than you, your ladyship,” replied the shepherdess. “You might, madam,” said the domino, “but I wish you wouldn’t interrupt us right now, as we have some business to discuss.” “I believe, madam,” the shepherdess responded, “that my business with the gentleman is just as important as yours; so feel free to step away if you’d like.” “My dear ladies,” Booth exclaimed, “please don’t argue over me.” “Not at all,” the domino replied; “since you’re so uninterested, I gladly give up my claims. If you weren't the dullest fellow on earth, I'm sure you would have noticed me.” She then walked away, mumbling to herself that she was convinced the shepherdess was some miserable person nobody knew.

The shepherdess overheard the sarcasm, and answered it by asking Booth what contemptible wretch he had picked up? “Indeed, madam,” said he, “you know as much of her as I do; she is a masquerade acquaintance like yourself.” “Like me!” repeated she. “Do you think if this had been our first acquaintance I should have wasted so much time with you as I have? for your part, indeed, I believe a woman will get very little advantage by her having been formerly intimate with you.” “I do not know, madam,” said Booth, “that I deserve that character any more than I know the person that now gives it me.” “And you have the assurance then,” said she, in her own voice, “to affect not to remember me?” “I think,” cries Booth, “I have heard that voice before; but, upon my soul, I do not recollect it.” “Do you recollect,” said she, “no woman that you have used with the highest barbarity—I will not say ingratitude?” “No, upon my honour,” answered Booth. “Mention not honour,” said she, “thou wretch! for, hardened as thou art, I could shew thee a face that, in spite of thy consummate impudence, would confound thee with shame and horrour. Dost thou not yet know me?” “I do, madam, indeed,” answered Booth, “and I confess that of all women in the world you have the most reason for what you said.”

The shepherdess caught the sarcasm and responded by asking Booth what despicable person he had come across. “Honestly, madam,” he said, “you know just as much about her as I do; she’s a casual acquaintance like you.” “Like me!” she echoed. “Do you really think if this was our first meeting, I would have wasted so much time with you? For your part, honestly, I believe a woman will gain very little from having once been close to you.” “I don’t know, madam,” said Booth, “that I deserve that reputation any more than I know the person who is giving it to me.” “And you have the nerve,” she said, using her normal tone, “to pretend not to remember me?” “I think,” Booth exclaimed, “I’ve heard that voice before; but, upon my word, I don’t recall it.” “Do you not remember,” she asked, “any woman you’ve treated with the utmost cruelty—I won’t say ingratitude?” “No, I swear,” Booth replied. “Don’t mention honor,” she said, “you wretch! For, despite your complete shamelessness, I could show you a face that, in spite of your arrogance, would leave you feeling utterly ashamed and horrified. Don’t you recognize me yet?” “I do, madam, indeed,” Booth answered, “and I admit that of all women in the world, you have the most reason for what you said.”

Here a long dialogue ensued between the gentleman and the lady, whom, I suppose, I need not mention to have been Miss Matthews; but, as it consisted chiefly of violent upbraidings on her side, and excuses on his, I despair of making it entertaining to the reader, and shall therefore return to the colonel, who, having searched all the rooms with the utmost diligence, without finding the woman he looked for, began to suspect that he had before fixed on the right person, and that Amelia had denied herself to him, being pleased with her paramour, whom he had discovered to be the noble peer.

Here a long conversation took place between the gentleman and the lady, whom I suppose I don’t need to mention is Miss Matthews. However, since it mainly consisted of her harsh accusations and his excuses, I don’t think it would be entertaining for the reader. So, I’ll go back to the colonel, who, after searching all the rooms thoroughly without finding the woman he was looking for, began to think he might have initially chosen the wrong person. He suspected that Amelia had turned him down because she was happy with her lover, who he discovered was the noble peer.

He resolved, therefore, as he could have no sport himself, to spoil that of others; accordingly he found out Booth, and asked him again what was become of both their wives; for that he had searched all over the rooms, and could find neither of them.

He decided that since he couldn't have any fun himself, he would ruin it for others. So, he tracked down Booth and asked him again what had happened to both of their wives, explaining that he had searched all over the rooms and couldn't find either of them.

Booth was now a little alarmed at this account, and, parting with Miss Matthews, went along with the colonel in search of his wife. As for Miss Matthews, he had at length pacified her with a promise to make her a visit; which promise she extorted from him, swearing bitterly, in the most solemn manner, unless he made it to her, she would expose both him and herself at the masquerade.

Booth was now a bit worried about what he had just heard, so after saying goodbye to Miss Matthews, he went with the colonel to look for his wife. As for Miss Matthews, he finally calmed her down by promising to visit her, a promise she forced from him by swearing dramatically that if he didn’t, she would reveal both his and her identities at the masquerade.

As he knew the violence of the lady’s passions, and to what heights they were capable of rising, he was obliged to come in to these terms: for he had, I am convinced, no fear upon earth equal to that of Amelia’s knowing what it was in the power of Miss Matthews to communicate to her, and which to conceal from her, he had already undergone so much uneasiness.

As he understood the intensity of the lady's emotions and how high they could soar, he had to settle for these terms: because, I believe, there was no fear in the world greater than Amelia finding out what Miss Matthews could reveal to her and what she could keep hidden from her. He had already experienced so much anxiety.

The colonel led Booth directly to the place where he had seen the peer and Amelia (such he was now well convinced she was) sitting together. Booth no sooner saw her than he said to the colonel, “Sure that is my wife in conversation with that masque?” “I took her for your lady myself,” said the colonel; “but I found I was mistaken. Hark ye, that is my Lord——, and I have seen that very lady with him all this night.”

The colonel took Booth right to the spot where he had seen the peer and Amelia (who he was now sure she was) sitting together. As soon as Booth spotted her, he turned to the colonel and said, “That has to be my wife talking to that masked man.” “I thought she was your lady too,” replied the colonel, “but I realized I was wrong. Listen, that’s my Lord——, and I’ve seen that same lady with him all night.”

This conversation past at a little distance, and out of the hearing of the supposed Amelia; when Booth, looking stedfastly at the lady, declared with an oath that he was positive the colonel was in the right. She then beckoned to him with her fan; upon which he went directly to her, and she asked him to go home, which he very readily consented to. The peer then walked off: the colonel went in pursuit of his wife, or of some other woman; and Booth and his lady returned in two chairs to their lodgings.

This conversation took place a bit away from the supposed Amelia, so she couldn't hear. Booth, looking intently at the lady, swore that he was sure the colonel was right. She then waved him over with her fan, and he went straight to her. She asked him to go home, which he happily agreed to. The peer then walked away; the colonel went off to look for his wife or another woman; and Booth and his lady returned to their lodgings in two separate chairs.










Chapter iii. — Consequences of the masquerade, not uncommon nor surprizing.

The lady, getting first out of her chair, ran hastily up into the nursery to the children; for such was Amelia’s constant method at her return home, at whatever hour. Booth then walked into the dining-room, where he had not been long before Amelia came down to him, and, with a most chearful countenance, said, “My dear, I fancy we have neither of us supped; shall I go down and see whether there is any cold meat in the house?”

The lady quickly got up from her chair and rushed into the nursery to see the kids; that was always Amelia's routine when she got home, no matter what time it was. Booth then went into the dining room, not long before Amelia came back down to him. With a bright smile, she said, “My dear, I don’t think either of us has had dinner; should I go check if there’s any leftover meat in the house?”

“For yourself, if you please,” answered Booth; “but I shall eat nothing.”

“For yourself, if you want,” Booth replied; “but I won’t eat anything.”

“How, my dear!” said Amelia; “I hope you have not lost your appetite at the masquerade!” for supper was a meal at which he generally eat very heartily.

“How, my dear!” said Amelia; “I hope you haven't lost your appetite at the masquerade!” since supper was a meal he usually enjoyed very much.

“I know not well what I have lost,” said Booth; “I find myself disordered.—My head aches. I know not what is the matter with me.”

“I’m not really sure what I’ve lost,” said Booth; “I feel out of sorts.—My head hurts. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Indeed, my dear, you frighten me,” said Amelia; “you look, indeed, disordered. I wish the masquerade had been far enough before you had gone thither.”

“Honestly, my dear, you scare me,” said Amelia; “you really look out of sorts. I wish the masquerade had happened much earlier before you went there.”

“Would to Heaven it had!” cries Booth; “but that is over now. But pray, Amelia, answer me one question—Who was that gentleman with you when I came up to you?”

“Would to Heaven it had!” Booth exclaims; “but that's all in the past now. But please, Amelia, answer me one question—Who was that guy with you when I approached you?”

“The gentleman! my dear,” said Amelia; “what gentleman?”

“The guy! my dear,” said Amelia; “which guy?”

“The gentleman—the nobleman—when I came up; sure I speak plain.”

“The gentleman—the nobleman—when I approached; I’m being straightforward.”

“Upon my word, my dear, I don’t understand you,” answered she; “I did not know one person at the masquerade.”

“Honestly, my dear, I don’t get you,” she replied; “I didn’t know a single person at the masquerade.”

“How!” said he; “what! spend the whole evening with a masque without knowing him?”

“How!” he exclaimed. “What! Spend the entire evening at a masquerade without knowing who he is?”

“Why, my dear,” said she, “you know we were not together.”

“Why, my dear,” she said, “you know we weren't together.”

“I know we were not,” said he, “but what is that to the purpose? Sure you answer me strangely. I know we were not together; and therefore I ask you whom you were with?”

“I know we weren’t,” he said, “but what does that matter? You’re answering me oddly. I know we weren’t together; so I’m asking you, who were you with?”

“Nay, but, my dear,” said she, “can I tell people in masques?”

“Nah, but, my dear,” she said, “can I talk to people in costumes?”

“I say again, madam,” said he, “would you converse two hours or more with a masque whom you did not know?”

“I'll say it again, ma'am,” he said, “would you really spend two hours or more talking to someone in a mask that you didn’t know?”

“Indeed, child,” says she, “I know nothing of the methods of a masquerade; for I never was at one in my life.”

“Actually, kid,” she says, “I don’t know anything about how a masquerade works; I’ve never been to one in my life.”

“I wish to Heaven you had not been at this!” cries Booth. “Nay, you will wish so yourself if you tell me truth.—What have I said? do I—can I suspect you of not speaking truth? Since you are ignorant then I will inform you: the man you have conversed with was no other than Lord——.”

“I wish to God you hadn't been involved in this!” Booth exclaims. “No, you'll wish the same if you tell me the truth. What have I said? Do I—can I suspect you of not telling the truth? Since you're not aware, let me fill you in: the man you spoke with was none other than Lord——.”

“And is that the reason,” said she, “you wish I had not been there?”

“And is that why,” she said, “you wish I hadn’t been there?”

“And is not that reason,” answered he, “sufficient? Is he not the last man upon earth with whom I would have you converse?”

“And isn't that reason,” he replied, “enough? Is he not the last person on earth I would want you to talk to?”

“So you really wish then that I had not been at the masquerade?”

“So you really wish that I hadn’t gone to the masquerade?”

“I do,” cried he, “from my soul.”

“I do,” he exclaimed, “with all my heart.”

“So may I ever be able,” cried she, “to indulge you in every wish as in this.—I was not there.”

“So may I always be able,” she exclaimed, “to indulge you in every wish just like this.—I wasn't there.”

“Do not trifle, Amelia,” cried he; “you would not jest with me if you knew the situation of my mind.”

“Don’t mess around, Amelia,” he exclaimed; “you wouldn’t joke with me if you understood how I really feel.”

“Indeed I do not jest with you,” said she. “Upon my honour I was not there. Forgive me this first deceit I ever practised, and indeed it shall be the last; for I have paid severely for this by the uneasiness it hath given me.” She then revealed to him the whole secret, which was thus:

“Believe me, I’m not joking,” she said. “I swear I wasn’t there. Please forgive me for this first lie I’ve ever told, and I promise it will be the last; I’ve suffered a lot because of the worry it caused me.” She then shared the entire secret with him, which was this:

I think it hath been already mentioned in some part of this history that Amelia and Mrs. Atkinson were exactly of the same make and stature, and that there was likewise a very near resemblance between their voices. When Mrs. Atkinson, therefore, found that Amelia was so extremely averse to the masquerade, she proposed to go thither in her stead, and to pass upon Booth for his own wife.

I believe it's already been noted in this story that Amelia and Mrs. Atkinson were exactly the same build and height, and they also had a very close resemblance in their voices. So when Mrs. Atkinson realized that Amelia was really against the masquerade, she suggested that she go in Amelia's place and pretend to be Booth's wife.

This was afterwards very easily executed; for, when they left Booth’s lodgings, Amelia, who went last to her chair, ran back to fetch her masque, as she pretended, which she had purposely left behind. She then whipt off her domino, and threw it over Mrs. Atkinson, who stood ready to receive it, and ran immediately downstairs, and, stepping into Amelia’s chair, proceeded with the rest to the masquerade.

This was then carried out very easily; when they left Booth's place, Amelia, who was last to her chair, ran back to grab her mask, pretending she had forgotten it. She quickly took off her domino and tossed it over Mrs. Atkinson, who was ready to catch it, and then hurried downstairs. She got into Amelia's chair and went with the others to the masquerade.

As her stature exactly suited that of Amelia, she had very little difficulty to carry on the imposition; for, besides the natural resemblance of their voices, and the opportunity of speaking in a feigned one, she had scarce an intercourse of six words with Booth during the whole time; for the moment they got into the croud she took the first opportunity of slipping from him. And he, as the reader may remember, being seized by other women, and concluding his wife to be safe with Mrs. James, was very well satisfied, till the colonel set him upon the search, as we have seen before.

Since her height was just right for Amelia, she had very little trouble maintaining the disguise; in addition to their natural voice similarity and her ability to speak in a fake voice, she barely exchanged six words with Booth the entire time. As soon as they entered the crowd, she took the first chance to slip away from him. And he, as the reader might recall, was occupied by other women and believed his wife was safe with Mrs. James, so he was quite content until the colonel prompted him to start searching, as we have mentioned earlier.

Mrs. Atkinson, the moment she came home, ran upstairs to the nursery, where she found Amelia, and told her in haste that she might very easily carry on the deceit with her husband; for that she might tell him what she pleased to invent, as they had not been a minute together during the whole evening.

Mrs. Atkinson, as soon as she got home, rushed upstairs to the nursery, where she found Amelia, and quickly told her that she could easily continue the lie with her husband; because she could tell him anything she wanted to make up, since they hadn’t spent even a minute together all evening.

Booth was no sooner satisfied that his wife had not been from home that evening than he fell into raptures with her, gave her a thousand tender caresses, blamed his own judgment, acknowledged the goodness of hers, and vowed never to oppose her will more in any one instance during his life.

Booth was barely convinced that his wife had been home that evening when he became ecstatic with her, showered her with affection, regretted his previous judgment, recognized her wisdom, and promised never to go against her wishes again for the rest of his life.

Mrs. Atkinson, who was still in the nursery with her masquerade dress, was then summoned down-stairs, and, when Booth saw her and heard her speak in her mimic tone, he declared he was not surprized at his having been imposed upon, for that, if they were both in the same disguise, he should scarce be able to discover the difference between them.

Mrs. Atkinson, who was still in the nursery wearing her masquerade dress, was then called downstairs, and when Booth saw her and heard her speak in her imitation voice, he said he wasn't surprised he had been fooled, because if they were both in the same disguise, he would hardly be able to tell them apart.

They then sat down to half an hour’s chearful conversation, after which they retired all in the most perfect good humour.

They then sat down for half an hour of cheerful conversation, after which they all left in the best of moods.










Chapter iv. — Consequences of the masquerade.

When Booth rose in the morning he found in his pocket that letter which had been delivered to him by Colonel Bath, which, had not chance brought to his remembrance, he might possibly have never recollected.

When Booth got up in the morning, he found in his pocket the letter that Colonel Bath had delivered to him, which he might not have remembered if chance hadn't reminded him.

He had now, however, the curiosity to open the letter, and beginning to read it, the matter of it drew him on till he perused the whole; for, notwithstanding the contempt cast upon it by those learned critics the bucks, neither the subject nor the manner in which it was treated was altogether contemptible.

He was now curious enough to open the letter, and as he started reading it, the content kept him engaged until he finished the whole thing. Despite the disdain shown by those elite critics, the content and the way it was presented were far from worthless.

But there was still another motive which induced Booth to read the whole letter, and this was, that he presently thought he knew the hand. He did, indeed, immediately conclude it was Dr Harrison; for the doctor wrote a very remarkable one, and this letter contained all the particularities of the doctor’s character.

But there was still another reason that made Booth read the whole letter, and that was that he soon thought he recognized the handwriting. He actually concluded right away that it was Dr. Harrison; the doctor had a very distinctive style, and this letter included all the details that matched the doctor’s character.

He had just finished a second reading of this letter when the doctor himself entered the room. The good man was impatient to know the success of Amelia’s stratagem, for he bore towards her all that love which esteem can create in a good mind, without the assistance of those selfish considerations from which the love of wives and children may be ordinarily deduced. The latter of which, Nature, by very subtle and refined reasoning, suggests to us to be part of our dear selves; and the former, as long as they remain the objects of our liking, that same Nature is furnished with very plain and fertile arguments to recommend to our affections. But to raise that affection in the human breast which the doctor had for Amelia, Nature is forced to use a kind of logic which is no more understood by a bad man than Sir Isaac Newton’s doctrine of colours is by one born blind. And yet in reality it contains nothing more abstruse than this, that an injury is the object of anger, danger of fear, and praise of vanity; for in the same simple manner it may be asserted that goodness is the object of love.

He had just finished reading the letter for the second time when the doctor walked into the room. The kind man was eager to hear how Amelia's plan had turned out, as he felt a deep affection for her based on respect—something that doesn't need the selfish motivations often found in the love for wives and children. Nature subtly suggests that those attachments are part of ourselves, and as long as we like someone, Nature provides clear and straightforward reasons to inspire our feelings. However, to evoke the kind of affection the doctor had for Amelia, Nature has to use a kind of logic that a bad person can't grasp, just like a blind person can’t understand Sir Isaac Newton’s theory of colors. Yet, in reality, it’s not more complicated than this: an injury triggers anger, danger breeds fear, and praise provokes vanity; similarly, we can say that goodness is the cause of love.

The doctor enquired immediately for his child (for so he often called Amelia); Booth answered that he had left her asleep, for that she had had but a restless night. “I hope she is not disordered by the masquerade,” cries the doctor. Booth answered he believed she would be very well when she waked. “I fancy,” said he, “her gentle spirits were a little too much fluttered last night; that is all.”

The doctor quickly asked about his child (that’s what he often called Amelia); Booth replied that he had left her asleep because she had a restless night. “I hope she isn’t feeling unwell from the masquerade,” the doctor exclaimed. Booth said he thought she would be just fine when she woke up. “I think,” he added, “her delicate spirits got a bit too shaken last night; that’s all.”

“I hope, then,” said the doctor, “you will never more insist on her going to such places, but know your own happiness in having a wife that hath the discretion to avoid those places; which, though perhaps they may not be as some represent them, such brothels of vice and debauchery as would impeach the character of every virtuous woman who was seen at them, are certainly, however, scenes of riot, disorder, and intemperance, very improper to be frequented by a chaste and sober Christian matron.”

“I hope, then,” said the doctor, “you will never insist on her going to such places again. Instead, appreciate your happiness in having a wife who has the good sense to avoid those places. While they may not be as bad as some portray them—places filled with vice and debauchery that would tarnish the reputation of any virtuous woman seen there—they are certainly scenes of chaos, disorder, and excess, which are very inappropriate for a chaste and sober Christian woman to visit.”

Booth declared that he was very sensible of his error, and that, so far from soliciting his wife to go to another masquerade, he did not intend ever to go thither any more himself.

Booth admitted that he was well aware of his mistake, and that, instead of encouraging his wife to attend another masquerade, he had no intention of going to one himself ever again.

The doctor highly approved the resolution; and then Booth said, “And I thank you, my dear friend, as well as my wife’s discretion, that she was not at the masquerade last night.” He then related to the doctor the discovery of the plot; and the good man was greatly pleased with the success of the stratagem, and that Booth took it in such good part.

The doctor fully supported the decision; and then Booth said, “And I appreciate you, my dear friend, as well as my wife’s good judgment, for not attending the masquerade last night.” He then shared with the doctor the discovery of the plot; and the kind man was very pleased with how well the plan had worked and that Booth took it so well.

“But, sir,” says Booth, “I had a letter given me by a noble colonel there, which is written in a hand so very like yours, that I could almost swear to it. Nor is the stile, as far as I can guess, unlike your own. Here it is, sir. Do you own the letter, doctor, or do you not?”

“But, sir,” Booth says, “I was given a letter by a noble colonel there, written in a hand that looks so much like yours that I could almost swear it’s yours. The style, as far as I can tell, isn’t unlike your own. Here it is, sir. Do you recognize the letter, doctor, or not?”

The doctor took the letter, and, having looked at it a moment, said, “And did the colonel himself give you this letter?”

The doctor took the letter and, after looking at it for a moment, said, “Did the colonel personally give you this letter?”

“The colonel himself,” answered Booth.

“The colonel himself,” Booth replied.

“Why then,” cries the doctor, “he is surely the most impudent fellow that the world ever produced. What! did he deliver it with an air of triumph?”

“Why then,” exclaims the doctor, “he is definitely the most shameless person the world has ever seen. What! Did he say it with a sense of victory?”

“He delivered it me with air enough,” cries Booth, “after his own manner, and bid me read it for my edification. To say the truth, I am a little surprized that he should single me out of all mankind to deliver the letter to; I do not think I deserve the character of such a husband. It is well I am not so very forward to take an affront as some folks.”

“He gave it to me confidently,” Booth exclaims, “in his own style, and told me to read it for my benefit. Honestly, I’m a bit surprised that he chose me of all people to deliver the letter; I don’t think I deserve to be seen as that kind of husband. It’s a good thing I’m not as quick to take offense as some people.”

“I am glad to see you are not,” said the doctor; “and your behaviour in this affair becomes both the man of sense and the Christian; for it would be surely the greatest folly, as well as the most daring impiety, to risque your own life for the impertinence of a fool. As long as you are assured of the virtue of your own wife, it is wisdom in you to despise the efforts of such a wretch. Not, indeed, that your wife accuses him of any downright attack, though she hath observed enough in his behaviour to give offence to her delicacy.”

“I’m glad to see you’re not,” said the doctor; “and your actions in this situation show that you’re both sensible and a good Christian; it would truly be the greatest foolishness, as well as the most reckless disrespect, to risk your own life over the arrogance of a fool. As long as you’re confident in the integrity of your own wife, it’s wise to ignore the attempts of such a scoundrel. Not that your wife directly accuses him of any outright wrongdoing, but she has seen enough in his behavior to be offended.”

“You astonish me, doctor,” said Booth. “What can you mean? my wife dislike his behaviour! hath the colonel ever offended her?”

“You astonish me, doctor,” Booth said. “What do you mean? My wife dislikes his behavior! Has the colonel ever upset her?”

“I do not say he hath ever offended her by any open declarations; nor hath he done anything which, according to the most romantic notion of honour, you can or ought to resent; but there is something extremely nice in the chastity of a truly virtuous woman.”

“I don’t claim he’s ever wronged her with any obvious statements; nor has he done anything that, by the most idealistic view of honor, you can or should be upset about; but there is something very special about the purity of a genuinely virtuous woman.”

“And hath my wife really complained of anything of that kind in the colonel?”

“And has my wife really complained about anything like that to the colonel?”

“Look ye, young gentleman,” cries the doctor; “I will have no quarrelling or challenging; I find I have made some mistake, and therefore I insist upon it by all the rights of friendship, that you give me your word of honour you will not quarrel with the colonel on this account.”

“Listen up, young man,” the doctor exclaims; “I won’t allow any arguing or challenges; I realize I've made a mistake, and so I insist, out of respect for our friendship, that you promise me on your honor that you won’t fight with the colonel about this.”

“I do, with all my heart,” said Booth; “for, if I did not know your character, I should absolutely think you was jesting with me. I do not think you have mistaken my wife, but I am sure she hath mistaken the colonel, and hath misconstrued some over-strained point of gallantry, something of the Quixote kind, into a design against her chastity; but I have that opinion of the colonel, that I hope you will not be offended when I declare I know not which of you two I should be the sooner jealous of.”

“I do, with all my heart,” said Booth; “because if I didn't know your character, I would absolutely think you were joking with me. I don't think you’ve confused my wife, but I am sure she has misunderstood the colonel and has misinterpreted some exaggerated act of chivalry, something like Don Quixote, as a scheme against her honor; but I hold the colonel in such regard that I hope you won’t be offended when I say I don’t know which of you two I should be more jealous of.”

“I would by no means have you jealous of any one,” cries the doctor; “for I think my child’s virtue may be firmly relied on; but I am convinced she would not have said what she did to me without a cause; nor should I, without such a conviction, have written that letter to the colonel, as I own to you I did. However, nothing I say hath yet past which, even in the opinion of false honour, you are at liberty to resent! but as to declining any great intimacy, if you will take my advice, I think that would be prudent.”

“I definitely don’t want you to feel jealous of anyone,” the doctor exclaims; “because I believe my child's virtue can be trusted. However, I’m sure she wouldn’t have said what she did to me without a reason; and I wouldn’t have written that letter to the colonel, as I admit I did, without such a belief. Still, nothing I’ve said so far should make you feel resentful, even by the standards of false honor! But if you want my advice, I think it's wise to keep our distance and not get too close.”

“You will pardon me, my dearest friend,” said Booth, “but I have really such an opinion of the colonel that I would pawn my life upon his honour; and as for women, I do not believe he ever had an attachment to any.”

"You'll forgive me, my dear friend," Booth said, "but I truly hold the colonel in such high regard that I would bet my life on his honor; and as for women, I don’t think he’s ever been attached to any."

“Be it so,” said the doctor: “I have only two things to insist on. The first is, that, if ever you change your opinion, this letter may not be the subject of any quarrelling or fighting: the other is, that you never mention a word of this to your wife. By the latter I shall see whether you can keep a secret; and, if it is no otherwise material, it will be a wholesome exercise to your mind; for the practice of any virtue is a kind of mental exercise, and serves to maintain the health and vigour of the soul.”

“Alright,” said the doctor. “I just have two things to insist on. First, if you ever change your mind, this letter should not be a reason for any arguments or fights. The second is that you never mention this to your wife. By that, I’ll see if you can keep a secret; and if it doesn’t matter in any other way, it’ll be a good mental exercise for you. Practicing any virtue is like a workout for the mind and helps keep the soul healthy and strong.”

“I faithfully promise both,” cries Booth. And now the breakfast entered the room, as did soon after Amelia and Mrs. Atkinson.

“I promise to do both,” Booth exclaims. Just then, breakfast came into the room, followed shortly by Amelia and Mrs. Atkinson.

The conversation ran chiefly on the masquerade; and Mrs. Atkinson gave an account of several adventures there; but whether she told the whole truth with regard to herself I will not determine, for, certain it is, she never once mentioned the name of the noble peer. Amongst the rest, she said there was a young fellow that had preached a sermon there upon a stool, in praise of adultery, she believed; for she could not get near enough to hear the particulars.

The conversation mainly focused on the masquerade, and Mrs. Atkinson shared several stories from there; but whether she revealed the whole truth about herself, I won't say, since it's clear she never once mentioned the name of the noble peer. Among other things, she mentioned a young guy who gave a sermon on a stool, allegedly praising adultery, but she couldn't get close enough to catch all the details.

During that transaction Booth had been engaged with the blue domino in another room, so that he knew nothing of it; so that what Mrs. Atkinson had now said only brought to his mind the doctor’s letter to Colonel Bath, for to him he supposed it was written; and the idea of the colonel being a lover to Amelia struck him in so ridiculous a light, that it threw him into a violent fit of laughter.

During that transaction, Booth had been occupied with the blue domino in another room, so he was completely unaware of it. What Mrs. Atkinson had just said made him think of the doctor's letter to Colonel Bath, as he assumed it was written for him. The thought of the colonel being in love with Amelia seemed so absurd to him that it sent him into a fit of laughter.

The doctor, who, from the natural jealousy of an author, imputed the agitation of Booth’s muscles to his own sermon or letter on that subject, was a little offended, and said gravely, “I should be glad to know the reason of this immoderate mirth. Is adultery a matter of jest in your opinion?”

The doctor, feeling the usual jealousy of a writer, assumed that Booth’s tense muscles were a reaction to his own sermon or letter on the topic. He was slightly offended and said seriously, “I would like to understand the reason for this excessive laughter. Do you think adultery is something to joke about?”

“Far otherwise,” answered Booth. “But how is it possible to refrain from laughter at the idea of a fellow preaching a sermon in favour of it at such a place?”

“Not at all,” Booth replied. “But how can anyone hold back laughter at the thought of someone giving a sermon in support of it in such a place?”

“I am very sorry,” cries the doctor, “to find the age is grown to so scandalous a degree of licentiousness, that we have thrown off not only virtue, but decency. How abandoned must be the manners of any nation where such insults upon religion and morality can be committed with impunity! No man is fonder of true wit and humour than myself; but to profane sacred things with jest and scoffing is a sure sign of a weak and a wicked mind. It is the very vice which Homer attacks in the odious character of Thersites. The ladies must excuse my repeating the passage to you, as I know you have Greek enough to understand it:—

“I’m really sorry,” the doctor exclaims, “to see that society has sunk to such a scandalous level of immorality, abandoning not just virtue, but also decency. How lost must the values of a nation be when such offenses against religion and morality can happen without consequence! No one appreciates true wit and humor more than I do; however, to mock sacred things is a clear indicator of a weak and wicked mind. It’s the same vice that Homer criticizes in the despicable character of Thersites. The ladies will have to forgive me for repeating the passage to you, as I know you have enough knowledge of Greek to understand it:—

    Os rh’ epea phresin esin akosma te, polla te ede
    Maps, atar ou kata kosmon epizemenai basileusin,
    All’o, ti oi eisaito geloiton Argeiosin
    Emmenai. — {Footnote: Thus paraphrased by Mr. Pope:

    “Awed by no shame, by no respect controll’d,
     In scandal busy, in reproaches bold,
     With witty malice, studious to defame,
     Scorn all his joy, and laughter all his aim."}
    The mind reveals the unrefined, and many things are
    displayed, yet they do not live according to the world’s rules,
    but rather, what did they think was amusing to the Argives
    involved. — {Footnote: Thus paraphrased by Mr. Pope:

    “Awed by no shame, by no respect controlled,
     In scandal busy, in reproaches bold,
     With witty malice, studious to defame,
     Scorn all his joy, and laughter all his aim.”}

And immediately adds,

And quickly adds,

    ——aiskistos de aner ypo Ilion elthe
    ——but the most excellent man came from Ilium

{Footnote: “He was the greatest scoundrel in the whole army."}

{Footnote: “He was the biggest jerk in the entire army."}

“Horace, again, describes such a rascal:

“Horace, again, describes such a rogue:

                              ——Solutos
      Qui captat risus hominum famamque dicacis,
                              ——Solutos
      Who captures the laughter of people and the reputation of the witty,

{Footnote: “Who trivial bursts of laughter strives to raise, And courts of prating petulance the praise.”—FRANCIS.}

{Footnote: “Who tries to stir up trivial bursts of laughter, And seeks the praise of annoying chatter.”—FRANCIS.}

 and says of him,

     Hic niger est, hunc tu, Romane, caveto.”
 
 and says of him,

     Hic niger est, hunc tu, Romane, caveto.”

{Footnote: “This man is black; do thou, O Roman! shun this man."}

{Footnote: “This man is black; you, O Roman! avoid him."}

“O charming Homer!” said Mrs. Atkinson, “how much above all other writers!”

“O charming Homer!” said Mrs. Atkinson, “you are so much better than all the other writers!”

“I ask your pardon, madam,” said the doctor; “I forgot you was a scholar; but, indeed, I did not know you understood Greek as well as Latin.”

“I apologize, ma'am,” said the doctor; “I forgot you were a scholar; but honestly, I didn’t realize you understood Greek as well as Latin.”

“I do not pretend,” said she, “to be a critic in the Greek; but I think I am able to read a little of Homer, at least with the help of looking now and then into the Latin.”

"I don’t claim," she said, "to be a critic of Greek; but I believe I can read a bit of Homer, at least with some help from occasionally looking at the Latin."

“Pray, madam,” said the doctor, “how do you like this passage in the speech of Hector to Andromache:

“Please, ma'am,” said the doctor, “what do you think of this part of Hector's speech to Andromache:

     ——Eis oikon iousa ta sautes erga komize,
     Iston t elakaten te, kai amphipoloisi keleue
     Ergon epoichesthai?
 ——Now that we're at home, taking care of what needs to be done,  
Do you feel the thrill, and is the work still calling to you  
To create something?

{Footnote: “Go home and mind your own business. Follow your spinning, and keep your maids to their work."}

{Footnote: “Go home and mind your own business. Focus on your own tasks, and make sure your maids are doing theirs."}

“Or how do you like the character of Hippodamia, who, by being the prettiest girl and best workwoman of her age, got one of the best husbands in all Troy?—I think, indeed, Homer enumerates her discretion with her other qualifications; but I do not remember he gives us one character of a woman of learning.—Don’t you conceive this to be a great omission in that who, by being the prettiest girl and best workwoman of her age, got one of the best husbands in all Troy?—-I think, indeed, Homer enumerates her discretion with her other qualifications; but I do not remember Don’t you conceive this to be a great omission in that charming poet? However, Juvenal makes you amends, for he talks very abundantly of the learning of the Roman ladies in his time.”

“Or what do you think of Hippodamia, who, by being the prettiest girl and the best craftswoman of her time, landed one of the best husbands in all of Troy?—I believe Homer mentions her wisdom along with her other qualities, but I don’t recall him giving us a single example of a learned woman.—Don’t you think this is a major oversight from that charming poet? However, Juvenal makes up for it, as he speaks extensively about the education of Roman women in his time.”

“You are a provoking man, doctor,” said Mrs. Atkinson; “where is the harm in a woman’s having learning as well as a man?”

“You're quite a provoking man, doctor,” Mrs. Atkinson said; “what's wrong with a woman having an education just like a man?”

“Let me ask you another question,” said the doctor. “Where is the harm in a man’s being a fine performer with a needle as well as a woman? And yet, answer me honestly; would you greatly chuse to marry a man with a thimble upon his finger? Would you in earnest think a needle became the hand of your husband as well as a halberd?”

“Let me ask you another question,” said the doctor. “What’s wrong with a man being skilled with a needle just like a woman? But honestly, would you really want to marry a man wearing a thimble on his finger? Do you seriously think a needle suits your husband’s hand as much as a halberd?”

“As to war, I am with you,” said she. “Homer himself, I well remember, makes Hector tell his wife that warlike works—what is the Greek word—Pollemy—something—belonged to men only; and I readily agree to it. I hate a masculine woman, an Amazon, as much as you can do; but what is there masculine in learning?”

“As for war, I’m with you,” she said. “I remember that Homer has Hector tell his wife that warlike pursuits—what's the Greek word—Pollemy—something—only belong to men; and I completely agree. I dislike a masculine woman, an Amazon, just as much as you do; but what’s so masculine about learning?”

“Nothing so masculine, take my word for it. As for your Pollemy, I look upon it to be the true characteristic of a devil. So Homer everywhere characterizes Mars.”

“Nothing is more masculine, believe me. As for your Pollemy, I see it as the true mark of a devil. That’s how Homer describes Mars everywhere.”

“Indeed, my dear,” cries the serjeant, “you had better not dispute with the doctor; for, upon my word, he will be too hard for you.”

“Honestly, my dear,” the sergeant exclaims, “you really shouldn’t argue with the doctor; I swear, he’ll totally outsmart you.”

“Nay, I beg you will not interfere,” cries Mrs. Atkinson; “I am sure you can be no judge in these matters.”

“Nah, please don’t get involved,” Mrs. Atkinson says; “I’m sure you can’t really judge these things.”

At which the doctor and Booth burst into a loud laugh; and Amelia, though fearful of giving her friend offence, could not forbear a gentle smile.

At that, the doctor and Booth erupted into loud laughter, and Amelia, though worried about upsetting her friend, couldn’t help but smile gently.

“You may laugh, gentlemen, if you please,” said Mrs. Atkinson; “but I thank Heaven I have married a man who is not jealous of my understanding. I should have been the most miserable woman upon earth with a starched pedant who was possessed of that nonsensical opinion that the difference of sexes causes any difference in the mind. Why don’t you honestly avow the Turkish notion that women have no souls? for you say the same thing in effect.”

“You can laugh, gentlemen, if you want,” said Mrs. Atkinson; “but I’m grateful I married a man who isn’t jealous of my intelligence. I would be the most miserable woman on earth with a uptight know-it-all who believes that the differences between the sexes affect our minds. Why don’t you just admit the Turkish belief that women don’t have souls? Because you’re saying the same thing, really.”

“Indeed, my dear,” cries the serjeant, greatly concerned to see his wife so angry, “you have mistaken the doctor.”

“Honestly, my dear,” the sergeant exclaims, clearly worried to see his wife so upset, “you've got the wrong doctor.”

“I beg, my dear,” cried she, “you will say nothing upon these subjects—I hope you at least do not despise my understanding.”

“I beg you, my dear,” she exclaimed, “please don’t say anything on these topics—I hope you don’t at least look down on my understanding.”

“I assure you, I do not,” said the serjeant; “and I hope you will never despise mine; for a man may have some understanding, I hope, without learning.”

“I assure you, I don’t,” said the sergeant; “and I hope you will never look down on mine; because a person can have some understanding, I hope, without formal education.”

Mrs. Atkinson reddened extremely at these words; and the doctor, fearing he had gone too far, began to soften matters, in which Amelia assisted him. By these means, the storm rising in Mrs. Atkinson before was in some measure laid, at least suspended from bursting at present; but it fell afterwards upon the poor serjeant’s head in a torrent, who had learned perhaps one maxim from his trade, that a cannon-ball always doth mischief in proportion to the resistance it meets with, and that nothing so effectually deadens its force as a woolpack. The serjeant therefore bore all with patience; and the idea of a woolpack, perhaps, bringing that of a feather-bed into his head, he at last not only quieted his wife, but she cried out with great sincerity, “Well, my dear, I will say one thing for you, that I believe from my soul, though you have no learning, you have the best understanding of any man upon earth; and I must own I think the latter far the more profitable of the two.”

Mrs. Atkinson turned very red at these words, and the doctor, worried that he had gone too far, started to ease the situation, with Amelia helping him. Because of this, the storm brewing inside Mrs. Atkinson was calmed, at least for the moment; however, it later erupted on the poor sergeant, who had probably learned one maxim from his job: that a cannonball does more damage based on the resistance it encounters, and that nothing dulls its force like a woolpack. The sergeant, therefore, endured everything patiently; and the thought of a woolpack, perhaps reminding him of a feather-bed, helped him not only calm his wife but also prompted her to sincerely exclaim, “Well, my dear, I will say one thing for you: I truly believe that even though you have no formal education, you have the best understanding of any man on earth; and I must admit, I think that’s far more valuable than the other.”

Far different was the idea she entertained of the doctor, whom, from this day, she considered as a conceited pedant; nor could all Amelia’s endeavours ever alter her sentiments.

Far different was the idea she had of the doctor, whom, from this day on, she thought of as a conceited know-it-all; nor could all of Amelia’s efforts ever change her mind.

The doctor now took his leave of Booth and his wife for a week, he intending to set out within an hour or two with his old friend, with whom our readers were a little acquainted at the latter end of the ninth book, and of whom, perhaps, they did not then conceive the most favourable opinion.

The doctor now said goodbye to Booth and his wife for a week, planning to leave in an hour or two with his old friend, who our readers may remember from the end of the ninth book, and of whom they might not have had the best impression at that time.

Nay, I am aware that the esteem which some readers before had for the doctor may be here lessened; since he may appear to have been too easy a dupe to the gross flattery of the old gentleman. If there be any such critics, we are heartily sorry, as well for them as for the doctor; but it is our business to discharge the part of a faithful historian, and to describe human nature as it is, not as we would wish it to be.

No, I know that some readers might have a lower opinion of the doctor now, as he might seem like an easy target for the old gentleman's blatant flattery. If there are any critics like that, we genuinely feel sorry for both them and the doctor; but our job is to be honest historians and portray human nature as it truly is, not how we’d like it to be.










Chapter v. — In which Colonel Bath appears in great glory.

That afternoon, as Booth was walking in the Park, he met with Colonel Bath, who presently asked him for the letter which he had given him the night before; upon which Booth immediately returned it.

That afternoon, while Booth was walking in the park, he ran into Colonel Bath, who quickly asked him for the letter he had given him the night before; Booth promptly handed it back to him.

“Don’t you think,” cries Bath, “it is writ with great dignity of expression and emphasis of—of—of judgment?”

“Don’t you think,” Bath exclaims, “it’s written with great dignity of expression and emphasis of—of—of judgment?”

“I am surprized, though,” cries Booth, “that any one should write such a letter to you, colonel.”

“I’m surprised, though,” Booth exclaims, “that anyone would write such a letter to you, Colonel.”

“To me!” said Bath. “What do you mean, sir? I hope you don’t imagine any man durst write such a letter to me? d—n me, if I knew a man who thought me capable of debauching my friend’s wife, I would—d—n me.”

“To me!” said Bath. “What do you mean, sir? I hope you don’t think any man would dare to write such a letter to me? Damn it, if I knew a guy who thought I could betray my friend’s wife, I would—damn it.”

“I believe, indeed, sir,” cries Booth, “that no man living dares put his name to such a letter; but you see it is anonymous.”

“I truly believe, sir,” Booth exclaims, “that no man alive would put his name on such a letter; but as you can see, it’s anonymous.”

“I don’t know what you mean by ominous,” cries the colonel; “but, blast my reputation, if I had received such a letter, if I would not have searched the world to have found the writer. D—n me, I would have gone to the East Indies to have pulled off his nose.”

“I don’t know what you mean by ominous,” yells the colonel; “but, damn my reputation, if I had received such a letter, I would have searched the world to find the writer. Damn it, I would have gone to the East Indies to knock his nose off.”

“He would, indeed, have deserved it,” cries Booth. “But pray, sir, how came you by it?”

“He definitely would have deserved it,” Booth exclaims. “But please, sir, how did you get it?”

“I took it,” said the colonel, “from a sett of idle young rascals, one of whom was reading it out aloud upon a stool, while the rest were attempting to make a jest, not only of the letter, but of all decency, virtue, and religion. A sett of fellows that you must have seen or heard of about the town, that are, d—n me, a disgrace to the dignity of manhood; puppies that mistake noise and impudence, rudeness and profaneness, for wit. If the drummers of my company had not more understanding than twenty such fellows, I’d have them both whipt out of the regiment.”

“I took it,” said the colonel, “from a group of lazy young troublemakers, one of whom was reading it out loud on a stool while the others were trying to make a joke not just about the letter, but about all decency, virtue, and religion. A bunch of guys that you must have seen or heard about in town, who are, damn me, a disgrace to the dignity of manhood; idiots who confuse noise and arrogance, rudeness and vulgarity, for intelligence. If the drummers of my company didn’t have more sense than twenty of those guys, I’d have them both kicked out of the regiment.”

“So, then, you do not know the person to whom it was writ?” said Booth.

“So, you don’t know who it was written to?” Booth asked.

“Lieutenant,” cries the colonel, “your question deserves no answer. I ought to take time to consider whether I ought not to resent the supposition. Do you think, sir, I am acquainted with a rascal?”

“Lieutenant,” the colonel shouts, “your question doesn't deserve an answer. I need to think about whether I should be offended by your assumption. Do you really think, sir, that I know a scoundrel?”

“I do not suppose, colonel,” cries Booth, “that you would willingly cultivate an intimacy with such a person; but a man must have good luck who hath any acquaintance if there are not some rascals among them.”

“I don’t think, Colonel,” Booth exclaims, “that you would want to befriend someone like that; but a person must be pretty lucky to have any friends if there aren’t some lowlifes in the mix.”

“I am not offended with you, child,” says the colonel. “I know you did not intend to offend me.”

“I’m not upset with you, kid,” says the colonel. “I know you didn’t mean to offend me.”

“No man, I believe, dares intend it,” said Booth.

“No guy, I think, would dare to plan it,” said Booth.

“I believe so too,” said the colonel; “d—n me, I know it. But you know, child, how tender I am on this subject. If I had been ever married myself, I should have cleft the man’s skull who had dared look wantonly at my wife.”

“I believe so too,” said the colonel; “damn me, I know it. But you know, sweetheart, how sensitive I am about this. If I had ever been married myself, I would have smashed the guy’s skull who dared to look at my wife inappropriately.”

“It is certainly the most cruel of all injuries,” said Booth. “How finely doth Shakespeare express it in his Othello!

“It’s definitely the most brutal of all injuries,” said Booth. “How beautifully Shakespeare captures it in his Othello!”

    ‘But there, where I had treasured up my soul.’”
 
‘But there, where I had cherished my soul.’”

“That Shakespeare,” cries the colonel, “was a fine fellow. He was a very pretty poet indeed. Was it not Shakespeare that wrote the play about Hotspur? You must remember these lines. I got them almost by heart at the playhouse; for I never missed that play whenever it was acted, if I was in town:—

“That Shakespeare,” exclaims the colonel, “was an amazing guy. He was a really talented poet for sure. Wasn’t it Shakespeare who wrote the play about Hotspur? You should remember these lines. I nearly memorized them at the theater; I never missed that play whenever it was performed, as long as I was in town:—

     By Heav’n it was an easy leap,
     To pluck bright honour into the full moon,
     Or drive into the bottomless deep.
     By Heaven it was an easy leap,
     To grab bright honor in the full moon,
     Or dive into the bottomless deep.

And—and—faith, I have almost forgot them; but I know it is something about saving your honour from drowning—O! it is very fine! I say, d—n me, the man that writ those lines was the greatest poet the world ever produced. There is dignity of expression and emphasis of thinking, d—n me.”

And—and—honestly, I almost forgot them; but I know it's something about saving your honor from drowning—Oh! it's really great! I mean, damn it, the person who wrote those lines was the greatest poet the world has ever seen. There’s so much dignity in the way it’s expressed and the depth of thought, damn it.”

Booth assented to the colonel’s criticism, and then cried, “I wish, colonel, you would be so kind to give me that letter.” The colonel answered, if he had any particular use for it he would give it him with all his heart, and presently delivered it; and soon afterwards they parted.

Booth agreed with the colonel's criticism and then said, “I wish, colonel, you would kindly give me that letter.” The colonel replied that if he had a specific reason for it, he would gladly give it to him, and shortly handed it over; soon after, they went their separate ways.

Several passages now struck all at once upon Booth’s mind, which gave him great uneasiness. He became confident now that he had mistaken one colonel for another; and, though he could not account for the letter’s getting into those hands from whom Bath had taken it (indeed James had dropt it out of his pocket), yet a thousand circumstances left him no room to doubt the identity of the person, who was a man much more liable to raise the suspicion of a husband than honest Bath, who would at any time have rather fought with a man than lain with a woman.

Several thoughts suddenly hit Booth's mind, filling him with great anxiety. He now felt sure that he had confused one colonel with another; and, even though he couldn't explain how the letter ended up in the hands of those from whom Bath had taken it (after all, James had dropped it out of his pocket), a thousand details left him no doubt about the identity of the person, who was much more likely to arouse a husband’s suspicions than honest Bath, who would have preferred to fight a man than to be with a woman.

The whole behaviour of Amelia now rushed upon his memory. Her resolution not to take up her residence at the colonel’s house, her backwardness even to dine there, her unwillingness to go to the masquerade, many of her unguarded expressions, and some where she had been more guarded, all joined together to raise such an idea in Mr. Booth, that he had almost taken a resolution to go and cut the colonel to pieces in his own house. Cooler thoughts, however, suggested themselves to him in time. He recollected the promise he had so solemnly made to the doctor. He considered, moreover, that he was yet in the dark as to the extent of the colonel’s guilt. Having nothing, therefore, to fear from it, he contented himself to postpone a resentment which he nevertheless resolved to take of the colonel hereafter, if he found he was in any degree a delinquent.

The whole behavior of Amelia suddenly flooded back to his mind. Her determination not to stay at the colonel’s house, her hesitance to even have dinner there, her reluctance to attend the masquerade, many of her casual comments, and some where she had been more careful, all combined to spark such an idea in Mr. Booth that he almost decided to go and confront the colonel violently in his own home. Cooler thoughts, however, came to him in time. He remembered the promise he had made so seriously to the doctor. He also considered that he still didn’t know the full extent of the colonel’s wrongdoing. Having nothing to fear from it, he decided to hold off on his anger, although he firmly resolved to deal with the colonel later if he found out he was guilty in any way.

The first step he determined to take was, on the first opportunity, to relate to Colonel James the means by which he became possessed of the letter, and to read it to him; on which occasion, he thought he should easily discern by the behaviour of the colonel whether he had been suspected either by Amelia or the doctor without a cause; but as for his wife, he fully resolved not to reveal the secret to her till the doctor’s return.

The first thing he decided to do was, at the earliest chance, to tell Colonel James how he got the letter and to read it to him. He thought that during this conversation, he could easily tell by the colonel’s reaction whether Amelia or the doctor had unfairly suspected him. However, he was determined not to share the secret with his wife until the doctor returned.

While Booth was deeply engaged by himself in these meditations, Captain Trent came up to him, and familiarly slapped him on the shoulder.

While Booth was deeply lost in his thoughts, Captain Trent approached him and casually slapped him on the shoulder.

They were soon joined by a third gentleman, and presently afterwards by a fourth, both acquaintances of Mr. Trent; and all having walked twice the length of the Mall together, it being now past nine in the evening, Trent proposed going to the tavern, to which the strangers immediately consented; and Booth himself, after some resistance, was at length persuaded to comply.

They were soon joined by a third guy, and shortly after, a fourth, both friends of Mr. Trent. After they had all walked the length of the Mall twice together, and with it now being past nine in the evening, Trent suggested heading to the pub, which the newcomers quickly agreed to. Booth, after some hesitation, eventually got convinced to go along as well.

To the King’s Arms then they went, where the bottle went very briskly round till after eleven; at which time Trent proposed a game at cards, to which proposal likewise Booth’s consent was obtained, though not without much difficulty; for, though he had naturally some inclination to gaming, and had formerly a little indulged it, yet he had entirely left it off for many years.

To the King’s Arms they went, where the drinks flowed quickly until after eleven. At that time, Trent suggested a card game, and Booth eventually agreed, but not without a lot of persuasion. Although he had always been somewhat inclined to gamble and had indulged in it a bit in the past, he had completely given it up for many years.

Booth and his friend were partners, and had at first some success; but Fortune, according to her usual conduct, soon shifted about, and persecuted Booth with such malice, that in about two hours he was stripped of all the gold in his pocket, which amounted to twelve guineas, being more than half the cash which he was at that time worth.

Booth and his friend were partners and had some success at first; however, Fortune, as she often does, quickly changed her course and targeted Booth with such malice that in about two hours, he lost all the money in his pocket, which totaled twelve guineas—more than half of what he was worth at that time.

How easy it is for a man who is at all tainted with the itch of gaming to leave off play in such a situation, especially when he is likewise heated with liquor, I leave to the gamester to determine. Certain it is that Booth had no inclination to desist; but, on the contrary, was so eagerly bent on playing on, that he called his friend out of the room, and asked him for ten pieces, which he promised punctually to pay the next morning.

How easy it is for someone who has even a slight addiction to gambling to stop playing in such a situation, especially when they’re also drunk, is something I'll let the gamblers decide. What’s clear is that Booth had no desire to stop; instead, he was so eager to keep playing that he called his friend out of the room and asked him for ten coins, which he promised to pay back the next morning.

Trent chid him for using so much formality on the occasion. “You know,” said he, “dear Booth, you may have what money you please of me. Here is a twenty-pound note at your service; and, if you want five times the sum, it is at your service. We will never let these fellows go away with our money in this manner; for we have so much the advantage, that if the knowing ones were here they would lay odds of our side.”

Trent teased him for being so formal on the occasion. “You know,” he said, “dear Booth, you can take as much money as you want from me. Here’s a twenty-pound note for you; and if you need five times that amount, it’s yours. We’re not going to let these guys walk away with our money like this; we have the upper hand, and if the smart ones were here, they’d bet on our side.”

But if this was really Mr. Rent’s opinion, he was very much mistaken; for the other two honourable gentlemen were not only greater masters of the game, and somewhat soberer than poor Booth, having, with all the art in their power, evaded the bottle, but they had, moreover, another small advantage over their adversaries, both of them, by means of some certain private signs, previously agreed upon between them, being always acquainted with the principal cards in each other’s hands. It cannot be wondered, therefore, that Fortune was on their side; for, however she may be reported to favour fools, she never, I believe, shews them any countenance when they engage in play with knaves.

But if this was really Mr. Rent’s opinion, he was very mistaken; because the other two respectable gentlemen were not only better players and a bit more sober than poor Booth, having managed to avoid drinking with all the skill they had, but they also had another slight advantage over their opponents. Through some agreed-upon private signals, they were always aware of the main cards in each other’s hands. So, it's no surprise that luck was on their side; because, even though it's said that luck favors fools, I believe it never supports them when they play against tricksters.

The more Booth lost, the deeper he made his bets; the consequence of which was, that about two in the morning, besides the loss of his own money, he was fifty pounds indebted to Trent: a sum, indeed, which he would not have borrowed, had not the other, like a very generous friend, pushed it upon him.

The more Booth lost, the bigger his bets became; as a result, around two in the morning, in addition to losing his own money, he owed Trent fifty pounds: a sum he wouldn't have borrowed if Trent, acting like a really generous friend, hadn't insisted on lending it to him.

Trent’s pockets became at last dry by means of these loans. His own loss, indeed, was trifling; for the stakes of the games were no higher than crowns, and betting (as it is called) was that to which Booth owed his ruin. The gentlemen, therefore, pretty well knowing Booth’s circumstances, and being kindly unwilling to win more of a man than he was worth, declined playing any longer, nor did Booth once ask them to persist, for he was ashamed of the debt which he had already contracted to Trent, and very far from desiring to encrease it.

Trent’s pockets finally ran dry because of these loans. His own loss wasn’t significant; the stakes of the games were only crowns, and betting—what they called it—was what led to Booth’s downfall. The gentlemen, knowing Booth’s situation and not wanting to take more from him than he could afford, decided to stop playing. Booth didn’t ask them to keep going either, as he felt embarrassed about the debt he already owed Trent and definitely didn’t want to increase it.

The company then separated. The two victors and Trent went off in their chairs to their several houses near Grosvenor-square, and poor Booth, in a melancholy mood, walked home to his lodgings. He was, indeed, in such a fit of despair, that it more than once came into his head to put an end to his miserable being.

The company then split up. The two winners and Trent headed back to their homes near Grosvenor Square in their chairs, while poor Booth, feeling down, walked home to his place. He was so overwhelmed with despair that he seriously considered ending his miserable existence more than once.

But before we introduce him to Amelia we must do her the justice to relate the manner in which she spent this unhappy evening. It was about seven when Booth left her to walk in the park; from this time till past eight she was employed with her children, in playing with them, in giving them their supper, and in putting them to bed.

But before we introduce him to Amelia, we should take the time to explain how she spent this difficult evening. It was around seven when Booth left her to go for a walk in the park; from that time until just after eight, she was busy with her children, playing with them, giving them their supper, and putting them to bed.

When these offices were performed she employed herself another hour in cooking up a little supper for her husband, this being, as we have already observed, his favourite meal, as indeed it was her’s; and, in a most pleasant and delightful manner, they generally passed their time at this season, though their fare was very seldom of the sumptuous kind.

When she finished those tasks, she spent another hour preparing a light dinner for her husband, which, as we've mentioned, was his favorite meal and hers too. They usually enjoyed this time together in a very pleasant and delightful way, although their meals were rarely extravagant.

It now grew dark, and her hashed mutton was ready for the table, but no Booth appeared. Having waited therefore for him a full hour, she gave him over for that evening; nor was she much alarmed at his absence, as she knew he was in a night or two to be at the tavern with some brother-officers; she concluded therefore that they had met in the park, and had agreed to spend this evening together.

It was getting dark, and her hashed mutton was ready for the table, but Booth still hadn't shown up. After waiting for a whole hour, she decided to give up on him for the evening. She wasn't too worried about his absence since she knew he would be at the tavern with some fellow officers in a night or two. So, she figured they must have run into each other in the park and decided to spend the evening together.

At ten then she sat down to supper by herself, for Mrs. Atkinson was then abroad. And here we cannot help relating a little incident, however trivial it may appear to some. Having sat some time alone, reflecting on their distressed situation, her spirits grew very low; and she was once or twice going to ring the bell to send her maid for half-a-pint of white wine, but checked her inclination in order to save the little sum of sixpence, which she did the more resolutely as she had before refused to gratify her children with tarts for their supper from the same motive. And this self-denial she was very probably practising to save sixpence, while her husband was paying a debt of several guineas incurred by the ace of trumps being in the hands of his adversary.

At ten, she sat down to dinner by herself since Mrs. Atkinson was out. Here, we must share a little incident, no matter how trivial it might seem to some. After sitting alone for a while, reflecting on their difficult situation, her spirits sank. She thought about ringing the bell to ask her maid to bring her half a pint of white wine but held back to save the sixpence. She was even more determined not to spend it since she had already refused to buy tarts for her children’s dinner for the same reason. It’s likely she was practicing this self-denial to save sixpence while her husband was paying off a debt of several guineas that he owed from a card game gone against him.

Instead therefore of this cordial she took up one of the excellent Farquhar’s comedies, and read it half through; when, the clock striking twelve, she retired to bed, leaving the maid to sit up for her master. She would, indeed, have much more willingly sat up herself, but the delicacy of her own mind assured her that Booth would not thank her for the compliment. This is, indeed, a method which some wives take of upbraiding their husbands for staying abroad till too late an hour, and of engaging them, through tenderness and good nature, never to enjoy the company of their friends too long when they must do this at the expence of their wives’ rest.

Instead, she picked up one of Farquhar’s comedies and read it halfway through; when the clock struck twelve, she went to bed, leaving the maid to wait up for her master. She would have much preferred to stay up herself, but her own sense of decorum assured her that Booth wouldn’t appreciate the gesture. This is, in fact, a tactic some wives use to indirectly criticize their husbands for staying out too late, trying to appeal to their kindness and good nature, so they won’t spend too much time away from home at the cost of their wives’ rest.

To bed then she went, but not to sleep. Thrice indeed she told the dismal clock, and as often heard the more dismal watchman, till her miserable husband found his way home, and stole silently like a thief to bed to her; at which time, pretending then first to awake, she threw her snowy arms around him; though, perhaps, the more witty property of snow, according to Addison, that is to say its coldness, rather belonged to the poor captain.

To bed she went, but not to sleep. Three times she checked the gloomy clock, and each time she heard the even gloomier watchman, until her miserable husband finally came home and slipped into bed with her like a thief; at that moment, pretending to just wake up, she wrapped her soft arms around him. Though, maybe the coldness of snow, as Addison suggests, was more fitting for the poor captain.










Chapter vi. — Read, gamester, and observe.

Booth could not so well disguise the agitations of his mind from Amelia, but that she perceived sufficient symptoms to assure her that some misfortune had befallen him. This made her in her turn so uneasy that Booth took notice of it, and after breakfast said, “Sure, my dear Emily, something hath fallen out to vex you.”

Booth couldn't hide his troubled thoughts from Amelia, but she noticed enough signs to be sure that something bad had happened to him. This made her so anxious that Booth noticed it, and after breakfast, he said, “Sure, my dear Emily, something has happened to upset you.”

Amelia, looking tenderly at him, answered, “Indeed, my dear, you are in the right; I am indeed extremely vexed.” “For Heaven’s sake,” said he, “what is it?” “Nay, my love,” cried she, “that you must answer yourself. Whatever it is which hath given you all that disturbance that you in vain endeavour to conceal from me, this it is which causes all my affliction.”

Amelia, gazing at him fondly, replied, “You're right, my dear; I’m truly very upset.” “For heaven's sake,” he said, “what’s wrong?” “Oh, my love,” she exclaimed, “that’s something you have to figure out for yourself. Whatever it is that has caused you so much distress that you’re trying to hide from me, that’s what’s causing all my pain.”

“You guess truly, my sweet,” replied Booth; “I am indeed afflicted, and I will not, nay I cannot, conceal the truth from you. I have undone myself, Amelia.”

“You're right, my dear,” Booth replied. “I’m indeed troubled, and I won’t, no I can’t, hide the truth from you. I’ve ruined myself, Amelia.”

“What have you done, child?” said she, in some consternation; “pray, tell me.”

“What have you done, kid?” she said, a bit worried; “please, tell me.”

“I have lost my money at play,” answered he.

“I've lost my money gambling,” he replied.

“Pugh!” said she, recovering herself—“what signifies the trifle you had in your pocket? Resolve never to play again, and let it give you no further vexation; I warrant you, we will contrive some method to repair such a loss.”

“Pugh!” she said, regaining her composure. “What does that little thing in your pocket matter? Promise me you won't play again, and don’t let it bother you anymore; I’m sure we can come up with a way to make up for that loss.”

“Thou heavenly angel! thou comfort of my soul!” cried Booth, tenderly embracing her; then starting a little from her arms, and looking with eager fondness in her eyes, he said, “Let me survey thee; art thou really human, or art thou not rather an angel in a human form? O, no,” cried he, flying again into her arms, “thou art my dearest woman, my best, my beloved wife!”

“ You heavenly angel! You comfort of my soul!” cried Booth, tenderly embracing her; then pulling back a little from her arms and looking with eager fondness into her eyes, he said, “Let me see you; are you really human, or are you more like an angel in human form? Oh, no,” he exclaimed, jumping back into her arms, “you are my dearest woman, my best, my beloved wife!”

Amelia, having returned all his caresses with equal kindness, told him she had near eleven guineas in her purse, and asked how much she should fetch him. “I would not advise you, Billy, to carry too much in your pocket, for fear it should be a temptation to you to return to gaming, in order to retrieve your past losses. Let me beg you, on all accounts, never to think more, if possible, on the trifle you have lost, anymore than if you had never possessed it.”

Amelia, returning all his affection with the same warmth, told him she had nearly eleven guineas in her purse and asked how much she should get for him. “I wouldn't recommend, Billy, carrying too much cash, as it might tempt you to start gambling again to make up for your past losses. Please, for your own good, try never to dwell on the small amount you’ve lost, just like you would if you had never had it at all.”

Booth promised her faithfully he never would, and refused to take any of the money. He then hesitated a moment, and cried—“You say, my dear, you have eleven guineas; you have a diamond ring, likewise, which was your grandmother’s—I believe that is worth twenty pounds; and your own and the child’s watch are worth as much more.”

Booth promised her faithfully that he never would, and declined to take any of the money. He then paused for a moment and exclaimed, “You say, my dear, you have eleven guineas; you also have a diamond ring, which belonged to your grandmother—I believe that's worth twenty pounds; and your watch and the child's watch are worth about the same.”

“I believe they would sell for as much,” cried Amelia; “for a pawnbroker of Mrs. Atkinson’s acquaintance offered to lend me thirty-five pounds upon them when you was in your last distress. But why are you computing their value now?”

“I think they would sell for that much,” Amelia exclaimed; “because a pawnbroker that Mrs. Atkinson knows offered to lend me thirty-five pounds on them when you were in your last crisis. But why are you figuring out their value now?”

“I was only considering,” answered he, “how much we could raise in any case of exigency.”

“I was just thinking,” he replied, “about how much we could gather in case of an emergency.”

“I have computed it myself,” said she; “and I believe all we have in the world, besides our bare necessary apparel, would produce about sixty pounds: and suppose, my dear,” said she, “while we have that little sum, we should think of employing it some way or other, to procure some small subsistence for ourselves and our family. As for your dependence on the colonel’s friendship, it is all vain, I am afraid, and fallacious. Nor do I see any hopes you have from any other quarter, of providing for yourself again in the army. And though the sum which is now in our power is very small, yet we may possibly contrive with it to put ourselves into some mean way of livelihood. I have a heart, my Billy, which is capable of undergoing anything for your sake; and I hope my hands are as able to work as those which have been more inured to it. But think, my dear, think what must be our wretched condition, when the very little we now have is all mouldered away, as it will soon be in this town.”

“I’ve figured it out myself,” she said. “And I believe everything we have in the world, apart from our bare necessities, amounts to about sixty pounds. Now, suppose, my dear,” she continued, “while we have that little amount, we should think of using it somehow to secure some small means of living for ourselves and our family. As for your reliance on the colonel’s friendship, I’m afraid it’s all in vain and misleading. I also don’t see any other way for you to provide for yourself in the army again. Even though the amount we currently have is quite small, we might still be able to figure out a way to earn a modest living with it. I have a heart, my Billy, strong enough to endure anything for your sake; and I hope my hands are as capable of working as those that have been used to it more. But think, my dear, think about how dreadful our situation will be when the little we have is all gone, which it will be soon in this town.”

When poor Booth heard this, and reflected that the time which Amelia foresaw was already arrived (for that he had already lost every farthing they were worth), it touched him to the quick; he turned pale, gnashed his teeth, and cried out, “Damnation! this is too much to bear.”

When poor Booth heard this and realized that the time Amelia dreaded had already come (since he had lost every penny they had), it hit him hard; he turned pale, ground his teeth, and shouted, “Damn it! This is too much to handle.”

Amelia was thrown into the utmost consternation by this behaviour; and, with great terror in her countenance, cried out, “Good Heavens! my dear love, what is the reason of this agony?”

Amelia was thrown into complete confusion by this behavior; and, with fear on her face, shouted, “Good heavens! my dear, what’s causing this pain?”

“Ask me no questions,” cried he, “unless you would drive me to madness.”

“Don’t ask me any questions,” he shouted, “unless you want to push me to the brink of insanity.”

“My Billy! my love!” said she, “what can be the meaning of this?—I beg you will deal openly with me, and tell me all your griefs.”

“My Billy! my love!” she said, “what could this mean?—I ask you to be honest with me and share all your troubles.”

“Have you dealt fairly with me, Amelia?” said he.

“Have you treated me fairly, Amelia?” he asked.

“Yes, surely,” said she; “Heaven is my witness how fairly.”

“Yes, definitely,” she said; “Heaven is my witness, how honestly.”

“Nay, do not call Heaven,” cried he, “to witness a falsehood. You have not dealt openly with me, Amelia. You have concealed secrets from me; secrets which I ought to have known, and which, if I had known, it had been better for us both.”

“Nah, don’t call Heaven,” he shouted, “to witness a lie. You haven’t been honest with me, Amelia. You’ve hidden things from me; things I should have known, and if I had known, it would have been better for both of us.”

“You astonish me as much as you shock me,” cried she. “What falsehood, what treachery have I been guilty of?”

“You amaze me as much as you surprise me,” she exclaimed. “What lies, what betrayal have I committed?”

“You tell me,” said he, “that I can have no reliance on James; why did not you tell me so before?”

“You're telling me,” he said, “that I can't count on James; why didn't you mention that earlier?”

“I call Heaven again,” said she, “to witness; nay, I appeal to yourself for the truth of it; I have often told you so. I have told you I disliked the man, notwithstanding the many favours he had done you. I desired you not to have too absolute a reliance upon him. I own I had once an extreme good opinion of him, but I changed it, and I acquainted you that I had so—”

“I call Heaven again,” she said, “to witness; no, I appeal to you for the truth of it; I’ve told you many times. I’ve told you I didn’t like the guy, despite all the favors he did for you. I wanted you not to rely too much on him. I admit I once thought very highly of him, but I changed my mind, and I let you know that I did—”

“But not,” cries he, “with the reasons why you had changed it.”

“But not,” he exclaims, “with the reasons you changed it.”

“I was really afraid, my dear,” said she, “of going too far. I knew the obligations you had to him; and if I suspected that he acted rather from vanity than true friendship—”

“I was really scared, my dear,” she said, “of going too far. I knew the commitments you had to him; and if I thought he was acting more out of vanity than out of genuine friendship—”

“Vanity!” cries he; “take care, Amelia: you know his motive to be much worse than vanity—a motive which, if he had piled obligations on me till they had reached the skies, would tumble all down to hell. It is vain to conceal it longer—I know all—your confidant hath told me all.”

“Vanity!” he exclaims; “be careful, Amelia: you know his motive is far worse than vanity—a motive that, even if he had loaded me with obligations until they reached the sky, would all come crashing down to hell. It’s pointless to hide it any longer—I know everything—your confidant has told me everything.”

“Nay, then,” cries she, “on my knees I entreat you to be pacified, and hear me out. It was, my dear, for you, my dread of your jealous honour, and the fatal consequences.”

“Nay, then,” she cries, “on my knees I beg you to calm down and listen to me. It was, my dear, because of my fear for your jealous pride and the disastrous outcomes.”

“Is not Amelia, then,” cried he, “equally jealous of my honour? Would she, from a weak tenderness for my person, go privately about to betray, to undermine the most invaluable treasure of my soul? Would she have me pointed at as the credulous dupe, the easy fool, the tame, the kind cuckold, of a rascal with whom I conversed as a friend?”

“Isn't Amelia equally concerned about my honor?” he exclaimed. “Would she, out of some weak affection for me, secretly betray and undermine the most precious treasure of my soul? Would she want me to be looked at as the gullible fool, the easy target, the passive, kind cuckold of a scoundrel I considered a friend?”

“Indeed you injure me,” said Amelia. “Heaven forbid I should have the trial! but I think I could sacrifice all I hold most dear to preserve your honour. I think I have shewn I can. But I will—when you are cool, I will—satisfy you I have done nothing you ought to blame.”

“Honestly, you're hurting me,” Amelia said. “I hope I never have to go through that! But I believe I could give up everything I cherish to protect your reputation. I think I've proven that I can. But I will—when you're calm, I will—show you that I've done nothing to deserve your blame.”

“I am cool then,” cries he; “I will with the greatest coolness hear you.—But do not think, Amelia, I have the least jealousy, the least suspicion, the least doubt of your honour. It is your want of confidence in me alone which I blame.”

“I’m totally fine,” he exclaims; “I will calmly listen to you.—But don’t think, Amelia, that I have the slightest jealousy, the tiniest suspicion, or any doubt about your honor. It’s your lack of trust in me that I take issue with.”

“When you are calm,” cried she, “I will speak, and not before.”

“When you’re calm,” she exclaimed, “I’ll speak, and not before.”

He assured her he was calm; and then she said, “You have justified my conduct by your present passion, in concealing from you my suspicions; for they were no more, nay, it is possible they were unjust; for since the doctor, in betraying the secret to you, hath so far falsified my opinion of him, why may I not be as well deceived in my opinion of the colonel, since it was only formed on some particulars in his behaviour which I disliked? for, upon my honour, he never spoke a word to me, nor hath been ever guilty of any direct action, which I could blame.” She then went on, and related most of the circumstances which she had mentioned to the doctor, omitting one or two of the strongest, and giving such a turn to the rest, that, if Booth had not had some of Othello’s blood in him, his wife would have almost appeared a prude in his eyes. Even he, however, was pretty well pacified by this narrative, and said he was glad to find a possibility of the colonel’s innocence; but that he greatly commended the prudence of his wife, and only wished she would for the future make him her only confidant.

He assured her he was calm; then she said, “You’ve justified my actions by your current passion, since I kept my suspicions from you; for they were no more than that, and it’s possible they were unfounded. Since the doctor, by revealing the secret to you, has misled my opinion of him, why can’t I be just as mistaken in my view of the colonel, given that my opinion was based only on a few things about his behavior that I didn’t like? Honestly, he’s never said a word to me or done anything that I could hold against him.” She then continued, recounting most of the details she had shared with the doctor, leaving out one or two of the most compelling points and twisting the rest so that if Booth didn’t have some of Othello’s temperament in him, his wife would almost seem like a prude in his eyes. Still, he was fairly reassured by her account and expressed that he was relieved to see a possibility of the colonel’s innocence; he greatly appreciated his wife’s wisdom and wished she would make him her only confidant in the future.

Amelia, upon that, expressed some bitterness against the doctor for breaking his trust; when Booth, in his excuse, related all the circumstances of the letter, and plainly convinced her that the secret had dropt by mere accident from the mouth of the doctor.

Amelia, hearing that, felt some resentment towards the doctor for breaking his trust; when Booth, in his defense, explained all the details of the letter and clearly showed her that the secret had accidentally slipped out of the doctor's mouth.

Thus the husband and wife became again reconciled, and poor Amelia generously forgave a passion of which the sagacious reader is better acquainted with the real cause than was that unhappy lady.

Thus the husband and wife made up again, and poor Amelia generously forgave a passion that the insightful reader understands better than that unfortunate lady did.










Chapter vii. — In which Booth receives a visit from Captain Trent.

When Booth grew perfectly cool, and began to reflect that he had broken his word to the doctor, in having made the discovery to his wife which we have seen in the last chapter, that thought gave him great uneasiness; and now, to comfort him, Captain Trent came to make him a visit.

When Booth calmed down and started to realize that he had gone back on his promise to the doctor by telling his wife about the discovery we discussed in the last chapter, that thought really troubled him. To help him feel better, Captain Trent came to visit him.

This was, indeed, almost the last man in the world whose company he wished for; for he was the only man he was ashamed to see, for a reason well known to gamesters; among whom, the most dishonourable of all things is not to pay a debt, contracted at the gaming-table, the next day, or the next time at least that you see the party.

This was, honestly, almost the last person in the world whose company he wanted; he was the only person he felt embarrassed to see, for a reason well known to gamblers; among them, the most dishonorable thing of all is not paying a debt that you owe from the gaming table the next day, or at least the next time you see the person.

Booth made no doubt but that Trent was come on purpose to receive this debt; the latter had been therefore scarce a minute in the room before Booth began, in an aukward manner, to apologise; but Trent immediately stopt his mouth, and said, “I do not want the money, Mr. Booth, and you may pay it me whenever you are able; and, if you are never able, I assure you I will never ask you for it.”

Booth had no doubt that Trent had come specifically to collect this debt; thus, as soon as Trent entered the room, Booth awkwardly started to apologize. However, Trent quickly interrupted him, saying, “I don’t want the money, Mr. Booth, and you can pay me whenever you're able. If you’re never able to, I promise I’ll never ask you for it.”

This generosity raised such a tempest of gratitude in Booth (if I may be allowed the expression), that the tears burst from his eyes, and it was some time before he could find any utterance for those sentiments with which his mind overflowed; but, when he began to express his thankfulness, Trent immediately stopt him, and gave a sudden turn to their discourse.

This kindness stirred such a storm of gratitude in Booth (if I may use that phrase) that tears streamed from his eyes, and it took him a while to find the words for all the feelings he was overwhelmed with; but when he finally started to express his thanks, Trent quickly interrupted him and shifted the topic of their conversation.

Mrs. Trent had been to visit Mrs. Booth on the masquerade evening, which visit Mrs. Booth had not yet returned. Indeed, this was only the second day since she had received it. Trent therefore now told his friend that he should take it extremely kind if he and his lady would waive all ceremony, and sup at their house the next evening. Booth hesitated a moment, but presently said, “I am pretty certain my wife is not engaged, and I will undertake for her. I am sure she will not refuse anything Mr. Trent can ask.” And soon after Trent took Booth with him to walk in the Park.

Mrs. Trent had visited Mrs. Booth on the night of the masquerade, a visit that Mrs. Booth had not yet acknowledged. In fact, it was only the second day since she had received it. So, Trent told his friend that he would really appreciate it if he and his wife could skip any formalities and come over for dinner at their place the next evening. Booth paused for a moment, but then replied, “I’m pretty sure my wife is free, and I’ll speak for her. I know she won’t turn down anything Mr. Trent asks.” Shortly after, Trent took Booth with him for a walk in the Park.

There were few greater lovers of a bottle than Trent; he soon proposed therefore to adjourn to the King’s Arms tavern, where Booth, though much against his inclination, accompanied him. But Trent was very importunate, and Booth did not think himself at liberty to refuse such a request to a man from whom he had so lately received such obligations.

There were few people who loved a drink more than Trent; he quickly suggested they head to the King’s Arms tavern, where Booth, despite his reluctance, went along with him. But Trent was very persistent, and Booth didn’t feel he could say no to a request from someone to whom he had recently owed so much.

When they came to the tavern, however, Booth recollected the omission he had been guilty of the night before. He wrote a short note therefore to his wife, acquainting her that he should not come home to supper; but comforted her with a faithful promise that he would on no account engage himself in gaming.

When they arrived at the tavern, Booth remembered the mistake he had made the night before. He wrote a quick note to his wife, letting her know that he wouldn’t be home for dinner; but he reassured her with a sincere promise that he wouldn’t get involved in any gambling.

The first bottle passed in ordinary conversation; but, when they had tapped the second, Booth, on some hints which Trent gave him, very fairly laid open to him his whole circumstances, and declared he almost despaired of mending them. “My chief relief,” said he, “was in the interest of Colonel James; but I have given up those hopes.”

The first bottle went by in casual conversation; but when they opened the second, Booth, picking up on some hints Trent dropped, pretty much laid out his entire situation and admitted he was nearly hopeless about fixing it. “My main comfort,” he said, “was in the support of Colonel James; but I’ve given up on that possibility.”

“And very wisely too,” said Trent “I say nothing of the colonel’s good will. Very likely he may be your sincere friend; but I do not believe he hath the interest he pretends to. He hath had too many favours in his own family to ask any more yet a while. But I am mistaken if you have not a much more powerful friend than the colonel; one who is both able and willing to serve you. I dined at his table within these two days, and I never heard kinder nor warmer expressions from the mouth of man than he made use of towards you. I make no doubt you know whom I mean.”

“And very wisely too,” said Trent. “I won’t say anything about the colonel’s good intentions. He might genuinely be your friend, but I don’t think he has the influence he acts like he does. He’s received too many favors in his own family to ask for any more for a while. However, I’d be surprised if you don’t have a much more powerful friend than the colonel; someone who is both capable and willing to help you. I dined at his place in the last couple of days, and I’ve never heard kinder or warmer words from anyone than what he said about you. I have no doubt you know who I’m talking about.”

“Upon my honour I do not,” answered Booth; “nor did I guess that I had such a friend in the world as you mention.”

“Honestly, I really don’t,” Booth replied; “and I had no idea I had such a friend in the world as you’re talking about.”

“I am glad then,” cries Trent, “that I have the pleasure of informing you of it.” He then named the noble peer who hath been already so often mentioned in this history.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Trent exclaims, “that I get to share this news with you.” He then mentioned the noble figure who has already been referenced so many times in this story.

Booth turned pale and started at his name. “I forgive you, my dear Trent,” cries Booth, “for mentioning his name to me, as you are a stranger to what hath passed between us.”

Booth turned pale and flinched at his name. “I forgive you, my dear Trent,” cries Booth, “for bringing him up, since you're not aware of what has happened between us.”

“Nay, I know nothing that hath passed between you,” answered Trent. “I am sure, if there is any quarrel between you of two days’ standing, all is forgiven on his part.”

“Nah, I don’t know anything that’s happened between you,” Trent replied. “I’m sure if there’s any argument between you from two days ago, it’s all forgiven on his side.”

“D—n his forgiveness!” said Booth. “Perhaps I ought to blush at what I have forgiven.”

“Damn his forgiveness!” said Booth. “Maybe I should be ashamed of what I’ve forgiven.”

“You surprize me!” cries Trent. “Pray what can be the matter?”

“You surprise me!” Trent exclaims. “What could be the issue?”

“Indeed, my dear Trent,” cries Booth, very gravely, “he would have injured me in the tenderest part. I know not how to tell it you; but he would have dishonoured me with my wife.”

“Honestly, my dear Trent,” Booth says very seriously, “he would have hurt me in the most sensitive way. I don’t know how to explain it to you, but he would have dishonored me with my wife.”

“Sure, you are not in earnest!” answered Trent; “but, if you are, you will pardon me for thinking that impossible.”

“Sure, you're not serious!” replied Trent; “but if you are, please forgive me for finding that hard to believe.”

“Indeed,” cries Booth, “I have so good an opinion of my wife as to believe it impossible for him to succeed; but that he should intend me the favour you will not, I believe, think an impossibility.”

“Indeed,” Booth exclaims, “I have such a high opinion of my wife that I believe it’s impossible for him to succeed; but that he intends to do me this favor, I don’t think you would believe is impossible.”

“Faith! not in the least,” said Trent. “Mrs. Booth is a very fine woman; and, if I had the honour to be her husband, I should not be angry with any man for liking her.”

“Of course not,” said Trent. “Mrs. Booth is a wonderful woman, and if I had the honor of being her husband, I wouldn’t be upset with any man for being fond of her.”

“But you would be angry,” said Booth, “with a man, who should make use of stratagems and contrivances to seduce her virtue; especially if he did this under the colour of entertaining the highest friendship for yourself.”

“But you would be angry,” said Booth, “with a guy who used tricks and schemes to compromise her integrity; especially if he did this while pretending to be your closest friend.”

“Not at all,” cries Trent. “It is human nature.”

“Not at all,” Trent exclaims. “It's human nature.”

“Perhaps it is,” cries Booth; “but it is human nature depraved, stript of all its worth, and loveliness, and dignity, and degraded down to a level with the vilest brutes.”

“Maybe it is,” Booth shouts; “but it’s human nature twisted, stripped of all its value, beauty, and dignity, and brought down to a level with the lowest animals.”

“Look ye, Booth,” cries Trent, “I would not be misunderstood. I think, when I am talking to you, I talk to a man of sense and to an inhabitant of this country, not to one who dwells in a land of saints. If you have really such an opinion as you express of this noble lord, you have the finest opportunity of making a complete fool and bubble of him that any man can desire, and of making your own fortune at the same time. I do not say that your suspicions are groundless; for, of all men upon earth I know, my lord is the greatest bubble to women, though I believe he hath had very few. And this I am confident of, that he hath not the least jealousy of these suspicions. Now, therefore, if you will act the part of a wise man, I will undertake that you shall make your fortune without the least injury to the chastity of Mrs. Booth.”

“Listen, Booth,” Trent exclaims, “I don't want to be misunderstood. I believe that when I’m talking to you, I’m talking to a sensible man from this country, not someone from a land of saints. If you truly think what you say about this noble lord, you have an incredible chance to make a complete fool of him and benefit yourself at the same time. I’m not saying your suspicions are unfounded; I know, of all men on earth, my lord is the biggest fool when it comes to women, even though I believe he’s had very few. And I’m sure of this: he doesn’t have the slightest jealousy about these suspicions. So, if you will act wisely, I guarantee you can make your fortune without harming Mrs. Booth’s reputation in any way.”

“I do not understand you, sir,” said Booth.

“I don't understand you, sir,” Booth said.

“Nay,” cries Trent, “if you will not understand me, I have done. I meant only your service; and I thought I had known you better.”

“Nah,” Trent says, “if you’re not going to understand me, I’m done. I only meant to help you; I thought I knew you better.”

Booth begged him to explain himself. “If you can,” said he, “shew me any way to improve such circumstances as I have opened to you, you may depend on it I shall readily embrace it, and own my obligations to you.”

Booth urged him to clarify. “If you can,” he said, “show me any way to improve the situation I've shared with you, you can count on me to gladly take it and acknowledge my gratitude to you.”

“That is spoken like a man,” cries Trent. “Why, what is it more than this? Carry your suspicions in your own bosom. Let Mrs. Booth, in whose virtue I am sure you may be justly confident, go to the public places; there let her treat my lord with common civility only; I am sure he will bite. And thus, without suffering him to gain his purpose, you will gain yours. I know several who have succeeded with him in this manner.”

“That sounds like something a man would say,” Trent exclaims. “But really, what is it more than this? Keep your suspicions to yourself. Let Mrs. Booth, in whose virtue I’m sure you can have full confidence, go to public places; there, let her treat my lord with nothing more than common courtesy; I’m sure he’ll take the bait. And by doing this, without allowing him to achieve his goals, you'll achieve yours. I know several people who have succeeded with him this way.”

“I am very sorry, sir,” cries Booth, “that you are acquainted with any such rascals. I do assure you, rather than I would act such a part, I would submit to the hardest sentence that fortune could pronounce against me.”

“I’m really sorry, sir,” Booth exclaims, “that you know any of those rascals. I assure you, I would rather face the harshest punishment that fate could throw at me than behave that way.”

“Do as you please, sir,” said Trent; “I have only ventured to advise you as a friend. But do you not think your nicety is a little over-scrupulous?”

“Do what you want, sir,” said Trent; “I’ve only tried to give you some friendly advice. But don’t you think your caution is a bit excessive?”

“You will excuse me, sir,” said Booth; “but I think no man can be too scrupulous in points which concern his honour.”

"You'll have to excuse me, sir," said Booth, "but I believe no man can be too careful about matters that involve his honor."

“I know many men of very nice honour,” answered Trent, “who have gone much farther; and no man, I am sure, had ever a better excuse for it than yourself. You will forgive me, Booth, since what I speak proceeds from my love to you; nay, indeed, by mentioning your affairs to me, which I am heartily sorry for, you have given me a right to speak. You know best what friends you have to depend upon; but, if you have no other pretensions than your merit, I can assure you you would fail, if it was possible you could have ten times more merit than you have. And, if you love your wife, as I am convinced you do, what must be your condition in seeing her want the necessaries of life?”

“I know many men of great honor,” Trent replied, “who have gone much further; and no one, I'm sure, had a better reason for it than you. You'll forgive me, Booth, since what I'm saying comes from my love for you; indeed, by sharing your situation with me, which I genuinely regret, you've given me the right to speak. You know best which friends you can rely on; but if you have no other claims but your own merit, I can assure you that you would fail, even if you had ten times more merit than you do. And if you love your wife, as I am convinced you do, how can you handle seeing her lack the necessities of life?”

“I know my condition is very hard,” cries Booth; “but I have one comfort in it, which I will never part with, and that is innocence. As to the mere necessaries of life, however, it is pretty difficult to deprive us of them; this I am sure of, no one can want them long.”

“I know my situation is really tough,” Booth cries; “but I have one comfort in it that I’ll never let go of, and that’s my innocence. As for the basic necessities of life, though, it’s pretty hard to take those away from us; I’m sure of one thing, no one can go without them for long.”

“Upon my word, sir,” cries Trent, “I did not know you had been so great a philosopher. But, believe me, these matters look much less terrible at a distance than when they are actually present. You will then find, I am afraid, that honour hath no more skill in cookery than Shakspear tells us it hath in surgery. D—n me if I don’t wish his lordship loved my wife as well as he doth yours, I promise you I would trust her virtue; and, if he should get the better of it, I should have people of fashion enough to keep me in countenance.”

“Honestly, sir,” Trent exclaims, “I had no idea you were such a great philosopher. But trust me, these issues seem a lot less daunting from a distance than when you're actually facing them. I'm afraid you’ll discover that honor has no more talent in cooking than Shakespeare says it does in surgery. Damn it if I don’t wish his lordship loved my wife as much as he does yours; I swear I would trust her virtue, and if he did manage to win her over, I’d have enough fashionable people around to support me.”

Their second bottle being now almost out, Booth, without making any answer, called for a bill. Trent pressed very much the drinking another bottle, but Booth absolutely refused, and presently afterwards they parted, not extremely well satisfied with each other. They appeared, indeed, one to the other, in disadvantageous lights of a very different kind. Trent concluded Booth to be a very silly fellow, and Booth began to suspect that Trent was very little better than a scoundrel.

Their second bottle was almost empty, so Booth, without saying anything, asked for the bill. Trent insisted on having another bottle, but Booth firmly refused, and soon after they parted, neither very pleased with the other. They seemed to view each other in very unflattering ways. Trent thought Booth was a complete fool, while Booth started to believe that Trent was hardly any better than a dishonest person.










Chapter viii. — Contains a letter and other matters.

We will now return to Amelia; to whom, immediately upon her husband’s departure to walk with Mr. Trent, a porter brought the following letter, which she immediately opened and read:

We will now return to Amelia; to whom, right after her husband left to walk with Mr. Trent, a porter delivered the following letter, which she quickly opened and read:

“MADAM,—The quick despatch which I have given to your first commands will I hope assure you of the diligence with which I shall always obey every command that you are pleased to honour me with. I have, indeed, in this trifling affair, acted as if my life itself had been at stake; nay, I know not but it may be so; for this insignificant matter, you was pleased to tell me, would oblige the charming person in whose power is not only my happiness, but, as I am well persuaded, my life too. Let me reap therefore some little advantage in your eyes, as you have in mine, from this trifling occasion; for, if anything could add to the charms of which you are mistress, it would be perhaps that amiable zeal with which you maintain the cause of your friend. I hope, indeed, she will be my friend and advocate with the most lovely of her sex, as I think she hath reason, and as you was pleased to insinuate she had been. Let me beseech you, madam, let not that dear heart, whose tenderness is so inclined to compassionate the miseries of others, be hardened only against the sufferings which itself occasions. Let not that man alone have reason to think you cruel, who, of all others, would do the most to procure your kindness. How often have I lived over in my reflections, in my dreams, those two short minutes we were together! But, alas! how faint are these mimicries of the imagination! What would I not give to purchase the reality of such another blessing! This, madam, is in your power to bestow on the man who hath no wish, no will, no fortune, no heart, no life, but what are at your disposal. Grant me only the favour to be at Lady——‘s assembly. You can have nothing to fear from indulging me with a moment’s sight, a moment’s conversation; I will ask no more. I know your delicacy, and had rather die than offend it. Could I have seen you sometimes, I believe the fear of offending you would have kept my love for ever buried in my own bosom; but, to be totally excluded even from the sight of what my soul doats on is what I cannot bear. It is that alone which hath extorted the fatal secret from me. Let that obtain your forgiveness for me. I need not sign this letter otherwise than with that impression of my heart which I hope it bears; and, to conclude it in any form, no language hath words of devotion strong enough to tell you with what truth, what anguish, what zeal, what adoration I love you.”

“Madam, the quick response I've given to your initial requests will hopefully assure you of my dedication to always follow any command you choose to give me. I have, in this seemingly small matter, acted as if my life depended on it; in fact, it might because this trivial issue, as you pointed out, would benefit the delightful person who holds not just my happiness but, as I strongly believe, my life as well. So, let me gain a little favor in your eyes as you have in mine from this minor situation; for, if anything could enhance the charms you possess, it would be that lovely passion with which you support your friend. I truly hope she will be my ally and advocate with the most beautiful of her kind, as I believe she has reason to be and as you kindly hinted she had been. I beg you, madam, do not let that dear heart, which is so inclined to empathize with others' suffering, be hardened against the pain she causes. Let not that one person believe you cruel, who, above all else, would do the most to earn your affection. How many times have I replayed in my mind, in my dreams, those two brief minutes we spent together! But, oh! how faint are these imagined recollections! What wouldn’t I give to have the reality of such a blessing again! This, madam, is within your power to grant to the man who has no wishes, no desires, no fortune, no heart, no life, but what is at your disposal. Please grant me the favor of attending Lady——’s gathering. You have nothing to fear by allowing me a moment’s glimpse, a moment’s conversation; I won’t ask for anything more. I recognize your gentility, and I would rather perish than offend it. If I could have seen you occasionally, I believe the fear of upsetting you would have kept my love forever hidden in my heart; however, being completely shut out from witnessing what my soul adores is something I can’t tolerate. That alone has forced me to reveal my tragic secret. Let that earn your forgiveness on my behalf. I don’t need to sign this letter any other way than with the imprint of my heart that I hope it conveys; and to conclude it in any format, no words of devotion are strong enough to express to you how truly, how painfully, how passionately, how devotedly I love you.”

Amelia had just strength to hold out to the end, when her trembling grew so violent that she dropt the letter, and had probably dropt herself, had not Mrs. Atkinson come timely in to support her.

Amelia barely had the strength to hang on until the end when her shaking became so intense that she dropped the letter and might have collapsed if Mrs. Atkinson hadn't come in just in time to catch her.

“Good Heavens!” cries Mrs. Atkinson, “what is the matter with you, madam?”

“Good heavens!” Mrs. Atkinson exclaims, “What’s wrong with you, ma'am?”

“I know not what is the matter,” cries Amelia; “but I have received a letter at last from that infamous colonel.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” Amelia exclaims; “but I finally got a letter from that notorious colonel.”

“You will take my opinion again then, I hope, madam,” cries Mrs. Atkinson. “But don’t be so affected; the letter cannot eat you or run away with you. Here it lies, I see; will you give me leave to read it?”

“You’ll consider my opinion again, I hope, ma’am,” Mrs. Atkinson exclaims. “But don’t be so dramatic; the letter won’t bite you or take you away. Here it is, I see; can I have permission to read it?”

“Read it with all my heart,” cries Amelia; “and give me your advice how to act, for I am almost distracted.”

“Read it with all my heart,” Amelia exclaims; “and give me your advice on what to do, because I’m almost overwhelmed.”

“Heydey!” says Mrs. Atkinson, “here is a piece of parchment too—what is that?” In truth, this parchment had dropt from the letter when Amelia first opened it; but her attention was so fixed by the contents of the letter itself that she had never read the other. Mrs. Atkinson had now opened the parchment first; and, after a moment’s perusal, the fire flashed from her eyes, and the blood flushed into her cheeks, and she cried out, in a rapture, “It is a commission for my husband! upon my soul, it is a commission for my husband:” and, at the same time, began to jump about the room in a kind of frantic fit of joy.

“Heyday!” says Mrs. Atkinson, “here’s a piece of parchment too—what is that?” In reality, this parchment had fallen out of the letter when Amelia first opened it; however, she had been so focused on the contents of the letter itself that she had never read the other. Mrs. Atkinson opened the parchment first, and after a moment of reading, her eyes lit up, her cheeks flushed, and she exclaimed, in excitement, “It’s a commission for my husband! I swear, it’s a commission for my husband!” At the same time, she started jumping around the room in a frenzied fit of joy.

“What can be the meaning of all this?” cries Amelia, under the highest degree of astonishment.

“What could all this mean?” Amelia exclaims, completely astonished.

“Do not I tell you, my dear madam,” cries she, “that it is a commission for my husband? and can you wonder at my being overjoyed at what I know will make him so happy? And now it is all out. The letter is not from the colonel, but from that noble lord of whom I have told you so much. But, indeed, madam, I have some pardons to ask of you. However, I know your goodness, and I will tell you all.

“Don’t I tell you, my dear madam,” she exclaims, “that this is a task for my husband? Can you really be surprised that I’m thrilled about something I know will make him so happy? And now it’s all out. The letter isn’t from the colonel, but from that noble lord I’ve talked to you about so much. But honestly, madam, I have some apologies to make to you. However, I know how kind you are, and I’ll tell you everything.

“You are to know then, madam, that I had not been in the Opera-house six minutes before a masque came up, and, taking me by the hand, led me aside. I gave the masque my hand; and, seeing a lady at that time lay hold on Captain Booth, I took that opportunity of slipping away from him; for though, by the help of the squeaking voice, and by attempting to mimic yours, I had pretty well disguised my own, I was still afraid, if I had much conversation with your husband, he would discover me. I walked therefore away with this masque to the upper end of the farthest room, where we sat down in a corner together. He presently discovered to me that he took me for you, and I soon after found out who he was; indeed, so far from attempting to disguise himself, he spoke in his own voice and in his own person. He now began to make very violent love to me, but it was rather in the stile of a great man of the present age than of an Arcadian swain. In short, he laid his whole fortune at my feet, and bade me make whatever terms I pleased, either for myself or for others. By others, I suppose he meant your husband. This, however, put a thought into my head of turning the present occasion to advantage. I told him there were two kinds of persons, the fallaciousness of whose promises had become proverbial in the world. These were lovers, and great men. What reliance, then, could I have on the promise of one who united in himself both those characters? That I had seen a melancholy instance, in a very worthy woman of my acquaintance (meaning myself, madam), of his want of generosity. I said I knew the obligations that he had to this woman, and the injuries he had done her, all which I was convinced she forgave, for that she had said the handsomest things in the world of him to me. He answered that he thought he had not been deficient in generosity to this lady (for I explained to him whom I meant); but that indeed, if she had spoke well of him to me (meaning yourself, madam), he would not fail to reward her for such an obligation. I then told him she had married a very deserving man, who had served long in the army abroad as a private man, and who was a serjeant in the guards; that I knew it was so very easy for him to get him a commission, that I should not think he had any honour or goodness in the world if he neglected it. I declared this step must be a preliminary to any good opinion he must ever hope for of mine. I then professed the greatest friendship to that lady (in which I am convinced you will think me serious), and assured him he would give me one of the highest pleasures in letting me be the instrument of doing her such a service. He promised me in a moment to do what you see, madam, he hath since done. And to you I shall always think myself indebted for it.”

“You should know then, madam, that I hadn’t been in the opera house for six minutes before a masqued figure approached me, took my hand, and led me aside. I took the masque’s hand, and noticing a lady at that moment grabbing Captain Booth, I seized the chance to slip away from him. Even though I had pretty much disguised my voice with a squeaky tone and attempted to mimic yours, I was still worried that if I spoke too much with your husband, he would recognize me. So I walked away with this masque to the far end of the room, where we settled in a corner together. He quickly revealed that he thought I was you, and I soon figured out who he was; in fact, he didn’t even try to hide himself as he spoke in his own voice and manner. He then began to declare his affection for me very passionately, but it was more like something a powerful man of today would do rather than an old-fashioned country boy. In short, he laid everything he had at my feet and told me to set whatever terms I wanted, for myself or for others. By others, I assumed he meant your husband. This sparked an idea in my mind about using the situation to my benefit. I told him there were two kinds of people whose promises had become famously deceptive: lovers and powerful men. So what trust could I have in the promises of someone who combined both of those roles? I mentioned a sad example, in a very respectable woman I knew (meaning myself, madam), of his lack of generosity. I said I was aware of the obligations he had to this woman, and the wrongs he had done her, all of which I was sure she forgave since she had spoken very highly of him to me. He replied that he believed he hadn’t been lacking in generosity toward this lady (as I explained who I meant); but if she indeed had praised him before me (meaning you, madam), he wouldn’t hesitate to reward her for such a favor. I then informed him that she had married a truly deserving man, who had long served abroad as a private soldier and was now a sergeant in the guards; and that I knew it would be so easy for him to secure a commission for him that I wouldn’t think he had any honor or decency if he overlooked it. I asserted that this step had to be a prerequisite for any good opinion he could ever hope for from me. I then expressed the greatest friendship toward that lady (which I’m sure you will believe is sincere), and assured him that he would give me immense pleasure by letting me be the means of doing her such a favor. He quickly promised me he would do what you see, madam, that he has since done. And for that, I will always consider myself indebted to you.”

“I know not how you are indebted to me,” cries Amelia. “Indeed, I am very glad of any good fortune that can attend poor Atkinson, but I wish it had been obtained some other way. Good Heavens! what must be the consequence of this? What must this lord think of me for listening to his mention of love? nay, for making any terms with him? for what must he suppose those terms mean? Indeed, Mrs. Atkinson, you carried it a great deal too far. No wonder he had the assurance to write to me in the manner he hath done. It is too plain what he conceives of me, and who knows what he may say to others? You may have blown up my reputation by your behaviour.”

“I don’t understand how you owe me anything,” Amelia exclaims. “I’m truly happy about any good luck that comes to poor Atkinson, but I wish it had happened differently. Good heavens! What will come of this? What must that lord think of me for even listening to him talk about love? And for making any kind of deal with him? What could he possibly think those terms mean? Honestly, Mrs. Atkinson, you took it way too far. It’s no surprise he felt bold enough to write to me the way he did. It’s obvious what he thinks of me, and who knows what he might say to others? You may have ruined my reputation with your actions.”

“How is that possible?” answered Mrs. Atkinson. “Is it not in my power to clear up all matters? If you will but give me leave to make an appointment in your name I will meet him myself, and declare the whole secret to him.”

“How is that possible?” replied Mrs. Atkinson. “Isn’t it in my power to sort everything out? If you let me set up a meeting in your name, I’ll talk to him myself and reveal the whole secret to him.”

“I will consent to no such appointment,” cries Amelia. “I am heartily sorry I ever consented to practise any deceit. I plainly see the truth of what Dr Harrison hath often told me, that, if one steps ever so little out of the ways of virtue and innocence, we know not how we may slide, for all the ways of vice are a slippery descent.”

“I won’t agree to any such appointment,” Amelia exclaims. “I truly regret ever agreeing to be deceitful. I clearly see the truth in what Dr. Harrison has often told me, that if you stray even a little from the path of virtue and innocence, you never know how far you might slip, because all paths of vice are a slippery slope.”

“That sentiment,” cries Mrs. Atkinson, “is much older than Dr Harrison. Omne vitium in proclivi est.

“That sentiment,” shouts Mrs. Atkinson, “is much older than Dr. Harrison. Omne vitium in proclivi est.

“However new or old it is, I find it is true,” cries Amelia—“But, pray, tell me all, though I tremble to hear it.”

“Whether it's new or old, I find it to be true,” Amelia exclaims. “But please, tell me everything, even though I'm shaking to hear it.”

“Indeed, my dear friend,” said Mrs. Atkinson, “you are terrified at nothing—indeed, indeed, you are too great a prude.”

“Honestly, my dear friend,” said Mrs. Atkinson, “you are afraid of nothing—seriously, you are too much of a prude.”

“I do not know what you mean by prudery,” answered Amelia. “I shall never be ashamed of the strictest regard to decency, to reputation, and to that honour in which the dearest of all human creatures hath his share. But, pray, give me the letter, there is an expression in it which alarmed me when I read it. Pray, what doth he mean by his two short minutes, and by purchasing the reality of such another blessing?”

“I don’t understand what you mean by prudery,” Amelia replied. “I will never be ashamed of my strong commitment to decency, reputation, and the honor that the most beloved of all human beings shares. But please, give me the letter; there’s a phrase in it that worried me when I read it. What does he mean by his two short minutes and by buying the reality of such another blessing?”

“Indeed, I know not what he means by two minutes,” cries Mrs. Atkinson, “unless he calls two hours so; for we were not together much less. And as for any blessing he had, I am a stranger to it. Sure, I hope you have a better opinion of me than to think I granted him the last favour.”

“Honestly, I have no idea what he means by two minutes,” Mrs. Atkinson says, “unless he’s calling two hours that, because we were together for much longer. And as for any blessing he claimed to have, I know nothing about it. I hope you think better of me than to believe I gave him any kind of last favor.”

“I don’t know what favours you granted him, madam,” answered Amelia peevishly, “but I am sorry you granted him any in my name.”

“I don’t know what favors you did for him, ma'am,” Amelia replied irritably, “but I regret that you did any of them in my name.”

“Upon my word,” cries Mrs. Atkinson, “you use me unkindly, and it is an usage I did not expect at your hands, nor do I know that I have deserved it. I am sure I went to the masquerade with no other view than to oblige you, nor did I say or do anything there which any woman who is not the most confounded prude upon earth would have started at on a much less occasion than what induced me. Well, I declare upon my soul then, that, if I was a man, rather than be married to a woman who makes such a fuss with her virtue, I would wish my wife was without such a troublesome companion.”

“Honestly,” Mrs. Atkinson exclaims, “you’re treating me unfairly, and I didn’t expect that from you, nor do I think I deserve it. I went to the masquerade just to please you, and I didn’t say or do anything there that any woman who isn’t the biggest prude in the world would have reacted to, even in a less provocative situation. Well, I swear, if I were a man, I’d rather not be married to a woman who makes such a big deal out of her virtue; I’d prefer a wife without such a bothersome attitude.”

“Very possibly, madam, these may be your sentiments,” cries Amelia, “and I hope they are the sentiments of your husband.”

“Maybe, ma'am, these are your feelings,” Amelia exclaims, “and I really hope they reflect your husband's feelings too.”

“I desire, madam,” cries Mrs. Atkinson, “you would not reflect on my husband. He is a worthy man and as brave a man as yours; yes, madam, and he is now as much a captain.”

“I wish, madam,” Mrs. Atkinson exclaims, “that you wouldn’t speak badly of my husband. He is a good man and as brave as yours; yes, madam, and he is currently just as much a captain.”

She spoke those words with so loud a voice, that Atkinson, who was accidentally going up-stairs, heard them; and, being surprized at the angry tone of his wife’s voice, he entered the room, and, with a look of much astonishment, begged to know what was the matter.

She said those words so loudly that Atkinson, who happened to be going upstairs, heard her. Surprised by the angry tone of his wife's voice, he walked into the room and, looking very astonished, asked what was going on.

“The matter, my dear,” cries Mrs. Atkinson, “is that I have got a commission for you, and your good old friend here is angry with me for getting it.”

“The thing is, my dear,” Mrs. Atkinson exclaims, “I have a task for you, and your good old friend here is upset with me for arranging it.”

“I have not spirits enow,” cries Amelia, “to answer you as you deserve; and, if I had, you are below my anger.”

“I don’t have enough energy,” Amelia says, “to respond to you the way you deserve; and even if I did, you’re not worth my anger.”

“I do not know, Mrs. Booth,” answered the other, “whence this great superiority over me is derived; but, if your virtue gives it you, I would have you to know, madam, that I despise a prude as much as you can do a——.”

“I don’t know, Mrs. Booth,” replied the other, “where this great superiority over me comes from; but if your virtue gives it to you, I want you to know, madam, that I despise a prude just as much as you can.”

“Though you have several times,” cries Amelia, “insulted me with that word, I scorn to give you any ill language in return. If you deserve any bad appellation, you know it, without my telling it you.”

“Even though you’ve insulted me with that word multiple times,” Amelia exclaims, “I refuse to respond with any harsh words. If you deserve any negative label, you already know it without me having to tell you.”

Poor Atkinson, who was more frightened than he had ever been in his life, did all he could to procure peace. He fell upon his knees to his wife, and begged her to compose herself; for indeed she seemed to be in a most furious rage.

Poor Atkinson, who was more scared than he had ever been in his life, fell to his knees in front of his wife and begged her to calm down; she really seemed to be in a wild rage.

While he was in this posture Booth, who had knocked so gently at the door, for fear of disturbing his wife, that he had not been heard in the tempest, came into the room. The moment Amelia saw him, the tears which had been gathering for some time, burst in a torrent from her eyes, which, however, she endeavoured to conceal with her handkerchief. The entry of Booth turned all in an instant into a silent picture, in which the first figure which struck the eyes of the captain was the serjeant on his knees to his wife.

While he was in this position, Booth, who had knocked so softly at the door to avoid waking his wife that he hadn’t been heard over the storm, stepped into the room. The moment Amelia saw him, the tears that had been building up for a while suddenly flowed freely from her eyes, which she tried to hide with her handkerchief. Booth’s entrance transformed everything in an instant into a silent scene, where the first figure that caught the captain's eye was the sergeant on his knees in front of his wife.

Booth immediately cried, “What’s the meaning of this?” but received no answer. He then cast his eyes towards Amelia, and, plainly discerning her condition, he ran to her, and in a very tender phrase begged to know what was the matter. To which she answered, “Nothing, my dear, nothing of any consequence.” He replied that he would know, and then turned to Atkinson, and asked the same question.

Booth immediately shouted, “What’s going on here?” but got no response. He then looked at Amelia and, clearly seeing her state, rushed over to her and, in a very gentle way, asked what was wrong. She replied, “Nothing, my dear, nothing important.” He insisted that he wanted to know and then turned to Atkinson, asking the same question.

Atkinson answered, “Upon my honour, sir, I know nothing of it. Something hath passed between madam and my wife; but what it is I know no more than your honour.”

Atkinson replied, “I swear, sir, I know nothing about it. Something has happened between the lady and my wife, but what it is I have no more idea than you do, sir.”

“Your wife,” said Mrs. Atkinson, “hath used me cruelly ill, Mr. Booth. If you must be satisfied, that is the whole matter.”

“Your wife,” said Mrs. Atkinson, “has treated me very poorly, Mr. Booth. If you need to know the whole story, that’s it.”

Booth rapt out a great oath, and cried, “It is impossible; my wife is not capable of using any one ill.”

Booth let out a loud curse and shouted, “This is impossible; my wife wouldn't harm anyone.”

Amelia then cast herself upon her knees to her husband, and cried, “For Heaven’s sake do not throw yourself into a passion—some few words have past—perhaps I may be in the wrong.”

Amelia then fell to her knees before her husband and cried, “For Heaven’s sake, please don’t lose your temper—just a few words have been exchanged—maybe I’m the one who’s in the wrong.”

“Damnation seize me if I think so!” cries Booth. “And I wish whoever hath drawn these tears from your eyes may pay it with as many drops of their heart’s blood.”

“Damnation take me if I think that!” Booth exclaims. “And I hope whoever has drawn these tears from your eyes pays for it with as many drops of their heart’s blood.”

“You see, madam,” cries Mrs. Atkinson, “you have your bully to take your part; so I suppose you will use your triumph.”

“You see, ma'am,” Mrs. Atkinson exclaims, “you have your supporter to back you up; so I guess you’ll enjoy your victory.”

Amelia made no answer, but still kept hold of Booth, who, in a violent rage, cried out, “My Amelia triumph over such a wretch as thee!—What can lead thy insolence to such presumption! Serjeant, I desire you’ll take that monster out of the room, or I cannot answer for myself.”

Amelia didn’t respond, but she still held onto Booth, who, in a furious rage, shouted, “My Amelia triumph over someone as despicable as you!—What could make you so presumptuous? Sergeant, I ask you to remove that monster from the room, or I can’t guarantee my behavior.”

The serjeant was beginning to beg his wife to retire (for he perceived very plainly that she had, as the phrase is, taken a sip too much that evening) when, with a rage little short of madness, she cried out, “And do you tamely see me insulted in such a manner, now that you are a gentleman, and upon a footing with him?”

The sergeant was starting to ask his wife to go to bed (because he clearly noticed that she had, as people say, had a bit too much to drink that night) when, in a fury that was almost insane, she shouted, “And do you just stand by and watch me get insulted like this, now that you’re a gentleman and on the same level as him?”

“It is lucky for us all, perhaps,” answered Booth, “that he is not my equal.”

“It's fortunate for all of us, maybe,” Booth replied, “that he's not my equal.”

“You lie, sirrah,” said Mrs. Atkinson; “he is every way your equal; he is as good a gentleman as yourself, and as much an officer. No, I retract what I say; he hath not the spirit of a gentleman, nor of a man neither, or he would not bear to see his wife insulted.”

“You're lying, buddy,” said Mrs. Atkinson; “he's just as good as you are. He's every bit the gentleman you are and just as much an officer. No, I take that back; he doesn’t have the spirit of a gentleman, or even a man, because if he did, he wouldn’t put up with his wife being insulted.”

“Let me beg of you, my dear,” cries the serjeant, “to go with me and compose yourself.”

“Please, I urge you, my dear,” the sergeant cries, “to come with me and calm down.”

“Go with thee, thou wretch!” cries she, looking with the utmost disdain upon him; “no, nor ever speak to thee more.” At which words she burst out of the room, and the serjeant, without saying a word, followed her.

“Go with you, you miserable person!” she exclaimed, glaring at him with complete contempt. “No, I won't ever speak to you again.” With that, she stormed out of the room, and the sergeant silently followed her.

A very tender and pathetic scene now passed between Booth and his wife, in which, when she was a little composed, she related to him the whole story. For, besides that it was not possible for her otherwise to account for the quarrel which he had seen, Booth was now possessed of the letter that lay on the floor.

A very emotional and touching moment unfolded between Booth and his wife, during which, once she calmed down a bit, she told him the entire story. Not only was she unable to explain the fight he had witnessed, but Booth also had the letter that had been on the floor.

Amelia, having emptied her mind to her husband, and obtained his faithful promise that he would not resent the affair to my lord, was pretty well composed, and began to relent a little towards Mrs. Atkinson; but Booth was so highly incensed with her, that he declared he would leave her house the next morning; which they both accordingly did, and immediately accommodated themselves with convenient apartments within a few doors of their friend the doctor.

Amelia, having shared everything with her husband and got his sincere promise that he wouldn’t hold the situation against my lord, felt much calmer and started to soften a bit towards Mrs. Atkinson. However, Booth was so angry with her that he insisted he would leave her house the next morning. They both did just that and quickly found a comfortable place to stay just a few doors down from their friend, the doctor.










Chapter ix. — Containing some things worthy observation.

Notwithstanding the exchange of his lodgings, Booth did not forget to send an excuse to Mr. Trent, of whose conversation he had taken a full surfeit the preceding evening.

Notwithstanding the change of his accommodations, Booth didn’t forget to send an excuse to Mr. Trent, from whose conversation he had had more than enough the night before.

That day in his walks Booth met with an old brother-officer, who had served with him at Gibraltar, and was on half-pay as well as himself. He had not, indeed, had the fortune of being broke with his regiment, as was Booth, but had gone out, as they call it, on half-pay as a lieutenant, a rank to which he had risen in five-and-thirty years.

That day during his walks, Booth ran into an old brother-officer who had served with him at Gibraltar and was also on half-pay like him. He hadn't been discharged with his regiment like Booth had, but had instead left on half-pay as a lieutenant, a rank he achieved after thirty-five years.

This honest gentleman, after some discourse with Booth, desired him to lend him half-a-crown, which he assured him he would faithfully pay the next day, when he was to receive some money for his sister. The sister was the widow of an officer that had been killed in the sea-service; and she and her brother lived together, on their joint stock, out of which they maintained likewise an old mother and two of the sister’s children, the eldest of which was about nine years old. “You must know,” said the old lieutenant, “I have been disappointed this morning by an old scoundrel, who wanted fifteen per cent, for advancing my sister’s pension; but I have now got an honest fellow who hath promised it me to-morrow at ten per cent.”

This honest man, after chatting with Booth, asked him to lend him a half-crown, promising he would pay him back the next day when he was expecting some money for his sister. His sister was a widow of a soldier who had died in service at sea; she and her brother lived together on what they had, which also supported their elderly mother and two of the sister's kids, the oldest being around nine years old. “You should know,” the old lieutenant said, “I was let down this morning by an old rascal who wanted fifteen percent to advance my sister’s pension; but now I've got a decent guy who promised to give it to me tomorrow at ten percent.”

“And enough too, of all conscience,” cries Booth.

“And that's more than enough, honestly,” Booth exclaims.

“Why, indeed, I think so too,” answered the other; “considering it is sure to be paid one time or other. To say the truth, it is a little hard the government doth not pay those pensions better; for my sister’s hath been due almost these two years; that is my way of thinking.”

“Yeah, I think so too,” replied the other person. “Since it’s definitely going to be paid eventually. Honestly, it's a bit unfair that the government doesn’t pay those pensions better; my sister’s has been overdue for almost two years. That's just how I see it.”

Booth answered he was ashamed to refuse him such a sum; but, “Upon my soul,” said he, “I have not a single halfpenny in my pocket; for I am in a worse condition, if possible, than yourself; for I have lost all my money, and, what is worse, I owe Mr. Trent, whom you remember at Gibraltar, fifty pounds.”

Booth replied that he felt embarrassed to deny him such a sum; but, “Honestly,” he said, “I don’t have a single penny in my pocket; I’m actually in a worse situation than you are because I’ve lost all my money, and, what’s worse, I owe Mr. Trent, you remember him from Gibraltar, fifty pounds.”

“Remember him! yes, d—n him! I remember him very well,” cries the old gentleman, “though he will not remember me. He is grown so great now that he will not speak to his old acquaintance; and yet I should be ashamed of myself to be great in such a manner.”

“Remember him! Yeah, damn him! I remember him very well,” shouts the old man, “even though he won’t remember me. He’s become so important now that he won’t talk to his old friends; and yet I would be embarrassed to be significant in that way.”

“What manner do you mean?” cries Booth, a little eagerly.

“What do you mean?” Booth asks, a bit eagerly.

“Why, by pimping,” answered the other; “he is pimp in ordinary to my Lord——, who keeps his family; or how the devil he lives else I don’t know, for his place is not worth three hundred pounds a year, and he and his wife spend a thousand at least. But she keeps an assembly, which, I believe, if you was to call a bawdy-house, you would not misname it. But d—n me if I had not rather be an honest man, and walk on foot, with holes in my shoes, as I do now, or go without a dinner, as I and all my family will today, than ride in a chariot and feast by such means. I am honest Bob Bound, and always will be; that’s my way of thinking; and there’s no man shall call me otherwise; for if he doth, I will knock him down for a lying rascal; that is my way of thinking.”

“Why, by being a pimp,” replied the other; “he’s the regular pimp for my Lord——, who supports his family; otherwise, I have no idea how he survives, since his position isn’t worth three hundred pounds a year, and he and his wife spend at least a thousand. But she runs a gathering that, honestly, if you were to call it a brothel, you wouldn’t be wrong. But damn it, I’d much rather be an honest man and walk around with holes in my shoes, like I do now, or skip a meal, as I and my whole family will today, than ride in a fancy carriage and feast in such a way. I’m honest Bob Bound, and I always will be; that’s how I see things; and no one will call me anything else; because if they do, I’ll knock them down for being a lying scoundrel; that’s how I see things.”

“And a very good way of thinking too,” cries Booth. “However, you shall not want a dinner to-day; for if you will go home with me, I will lend you a crown with all my heart.”

“And that's a really great way to think too,” Booth exclaims. “But you won't need to worry about dinner today; if you come home with me, I’ll gladly lend you a crown.”

“Lookee,” said the old man, “if it be anywise inconvenient to you I will not have it; for I will never rob another man of his dinner to eat myself—that is my way of thinking.”

“Look,” said the old man, “if it’s any trouble for you, I won’t take it; I would never steal another man’s dinner to eat myself—that’s how I see it.”

“Pooh!” said Booth; “never mention such a trifle twice between you and me. Besides, you say you can pay it me to-morrow; and I promise you that will be the same thing.”

“Pooh!” said Booth; “don't bring up such a small thing between us again. Besides, you say you can pay me tomorrow; I promise you that will be exactly the same.”

They then walked together to Booth’s lodgings, where Booth, from Amelia’s pocket, gave his friend double the little sum he had asked. Upon which the old gentleman shook him heartily by the hand, and, repeating his intention of paying him the next day, made the best of his way to a butcher’s, whence he carried off a leg of mutton to a family that had lately kept Lent without any religious merit.

They then walked together to Booth’s place, where Booth, from Amelia’s pocket, gave his friend double the small amount he had asked for. The old gentleman then shook his hand warmly and, repeating his plan to pay him back the next day, hurried off to a butcher’s, from which he took home a leg of mutton to a family that had recently observed Lent without any real devotion.

When he was gone Amelia asked her husband who that old gentleman was? Booth answered he was one of the scandals of his country; that the Duke of Marlborough had about thirty years before made him an ensign from a private man for very particular merit; and that he had not long since gone out of the army with a broken heart, upon having several boys put over his head. He then gave her an account of his family, which he had heard from the old gentleman in their way to his house, and with which we have already in a concise manner acquainted the reader.

When he left, Amelia asked her husband who that old man was. Booth replied that he was one of the scandals of his country; that the Duke of Marlborough had promoted him from a private to an ensign about thirty years ago for very specific merit; and that he had recently left the army with a broken heart after several younger officers were put in charge over him. He then told her about the man’s family, which he had learned from the old gentleman on their way to his house, and which we have already briefly informed the reader about.

“Good Heavens!” cries Amelia; “what are our great men made of? are they in reality a distinct species from the rest of mankind? are they born without hearts?”

“Good heavens!” Amelia exclaims; “what are our great men made of? Are they really a different species from the rest of humanity? Are they born without hearts?”

“One would, indeed, sometimes,” cries Booth, “be inclined to think so. In truth, they have no perfect idea of those common distresses of mankind which are far removed from their own sphere. Compassion, if thoroughly examined, will, I believe, appear to be the fellow-feeling only of men of the same rank and degree of life for one another, on account of the evils to which they themselves are liable. Our sensations are, I am afraid, very cold towards those who are at a great distance from us, and whose calamities can consequently never reach us.”

“One might, at times,” Booth exclaims, “be tempted to think that way. In reality, they have no real grasp of the common hardships faced by people that are so far from their own experiences. If you look closely at compassion, it seems to be the shared feeling only among people of the same social standing when it comes to the troubles they themselves might face. I'm afraid our feelings are quite indifferent towards those who are far removed from us, and whose misfortunes, therefore, can never touch us.”

“I remember,” cries Amelia, “a sentiment of Dr Harrison’s, which he told me was in some Latin book; I am a man myself, and my heart is interested in whatever can befal the rest of mankind. That is the sentiment of a good man, and whoever thinks otherwise is a bad one.”

“I remember,” Amelia exclaims, “a sentiment from Dr. Harrison that he told me was in some Latin book; I am a man myself, and my heart is interested in whatever can happen to the rest of humanity. That is the sentiment of a good person, and anyone who thinks otherwise is a bad one.”

“I have often told you, my dear Emily,” cries Booth, “that all men, as well the best as the worst, act alike from the principle of self-love. Where benevolence therefore is the uppermost passion, self-love directs you to gratify it by doing good, and by relieving the distresses of others; for they are then in reality your own. But where ambition, avarice, pride, or any other passion, governs the man and keeps his benevolence down, the miseries of all other men affect him no more than they would a stock or a stone. And thus the man and his statue have often the same degree of feeling or compassion.”

“I’ve often told you, my dear Emily,” Booth exclaims, “that all men, whether they are the best or the worst, behave from the principle of self-love. When kindness is the strongest feeling, self-love leads you to express it by doing good and helping those in need because their struggles are essentially your own. But when ambition, greed, pride, or any other desire controls a person and suppresses their kindness, the suffering of others affects them as little as it would a piece of furniture or a rock. So, a person and their statue often share the same level of feeling or compassion.”

“I have often wished, my dear,” cries Amelia, “to hear you converse with Dr Harrison on this subject; for I am sure he would convince you, though I can’t, that there are really such things as religion and virtue.”

“I’ve often wished, my dear,” Amelia exclaims, “to hear you talk with Dr. Harrison about this; I’m sure he would convince you, even though I can’t, that things like religion and virtue truly exist.”

This was not the first hint of this kind which Amelia had given; for she sometimes apprehended from his discourse that he was little better than an atheist: a consideration which did not diminish her affection for him, but gave her great uneasiness. On all such occasions Booth immediately turned the discourse to some other subject; for, though he had in other points a great opinion of his wife’s capacity, yet as a divine or a philosopher he did not hold her in a very respectable light, nor did he lay any great stress on her sentiments in such matters. He now, therefore, gave a speedy turn to the conversation, and began to talk of affairs below the dignity of this history.

This wasn't the first hint of this kind that Amelia had given; she sometimes sensed from his conversations that he was hardly better than an atheist. This thought didn't lessen her love for him, but it did cause her a lot of anxiety. Whenever this came up, Booth quickly changed the subject because, while he respected his wife's intelligence in many other areas, he didn't consider her views on religion or philosophy very important. So, he quickly shifted the conversation to something less significant.










BOOK XI.










Chapter i. — Containing a very polite scene.

We will now look back to some personages who, though not the principal characters in this history, have yet made too considerable a figure in it to be abruptly dropt: and these are Colonel James and his lady.

We will now reflect on some characters who, although not the main figures in this story, have still played a significant role in it to be left out entirely: these are Colonel James and his wife.

This fond couple never met till dinner the day after the masquerade, when they happened to be alone together in an antechamber before the arrival of the rest of the company.

This affectionate couple never met until dinner the day after the masquerade, when they happened to be alone together in a small room before the rest of the guests arrived.

The conversation began with the colonel’s saying, “I hope, madam, you got no cold last night at the masquerade.” To which the lady answered by much the same kind of question.

The conversation started with the colonel saying, “I hope, ma'am, you didn't catch a cold last night at the masquerade.” To which the lady responded with a similar kind of question.

They then sat together near five minutes without opening their mouths to each other. At last Mrs. James said, “Pray, sir, who was that masque with you in the dress of a shepherdess? How could you expose yourself by walking with such a trollop in public; for certainly no woman of any figure would appear there in such a dress? You know, Mr. James, I never interfere with your affairs; but I would, methinks, for my own sake, if I was you, preserve a little decency in the face of the world.”

They sat together for nearly five minutes without saying a word to each other. Finally, Mrs. James said, “Excuse me, sir, who was that girl with you dressed as a shepherdess? How could you embarrass yourself by walking with such a flirt in public? No respectable woman would be seen in that outfit. You know, Mr. James, I don’t usually meddle in your business, but I would, if I were you, try to maintain a bit of decency in front of others for my own sake.”

“Upon my word,” said James, “I do not know whom you mean. A woman in such a dress might speak to me for aught I know. A thousand people speak to me at a masquerade. But, I promise you, I spoke to no woman acquaintance there that I know of. Indeed, I now recollect there was a woman in a dress of a shepherdess; and there was another aukward thing in a blue domino that plagued me a little, but I soon got rid of them.”

“Honestly,” said James, “I have no idea who you’re talking about. A woman in that kind of dress could talk to me for all I know. A thousand people approach me at a masquerade. But I assure you, I didn’t talk to any woman I knew there. Actually, I do remember a woman dressed as a shepherdess; and there was another awkward person in a blue domino who bothered me a bit, but I got rid of them pretty quickly.”

“And I suppose you do not know the lady in the blue domino neither?”

“And I guess you don’t know the lady in the blue mask either?”

“Not I, I assure you,” said James. “But pray, why do you ask me these questions? it looks so like jealousy.”

“Not me, I promise,” said James. “But please, why are you asking me these questions? It seems so much like jealousy.”

“Jealousy!” cries she; “I jealous! no, Mr. James, I shall never be jealous, I promise you, especially of the lady in the blue domino; for, to my knowledge, she despises you of all human race.”

“Jealousy!” she exclaims; “Me jealous? No, Mr. James, I promise I will never be jealous, especially of the lady in the blue domino; because, as far as I know, she looks down on you more than anyone else.”

“I am heartily glad of it,” said James; “for I never saw such a tall aukward monster in my life.”

“I’m really glad about it,” said James; “because I’ve never seen such a tall, awkward freak in my life.”

“That is a very cruel way of telling me you knew me.”

"That's a really harsh way of saying you knew me."

“You, madam!” said James; “you was in a black domino.”

“You, ma'am!” said James; “you were in a black domino.”

“It is not so unusual a thing, I believe, you yourself know, to change dresses. I own I did it to discover some of your tricks. I did not think you could have distinguished the tall aukward monster so well.”

“It’s not that unusual, I think, you know yourself, to change outfits. I admit I did it to figure out some of your tricks. I didn’t believe you could recognize the tall, awkward figure so easily.”

“Upon my soul,” said James, “if it was you I did not even suspect it; so you ought not to be offended at what I have said ignorantly.”

“Honestly,” said James, “if it was you, I had no clue; so you shouldn't be upset about what I said without realizing.”

“Indeed, sir,” cries she, “you cannot offend me by anything you can say to my face; no, by my soul, I despise you too much. But I wish, Mr. James, you would not make me the subject of your conversation amongst your wenches. I desire I may not be afraid of meeting them for fear of their insults; that I may not be told by a dirty trollop you make me the subject of your wit amongst them, of which, it seems, I am the favourite topic. Though you have married a tall aukward monster, Mr. James, I think she hath a right to be treated, as your wife, with respect at least: indeed, I shall never require any more; indeed, Mr. James, I never shall. I think a wife hath a title to that.”

“Honestly, sir,” she exclaims, “you can’t offend me with anything you say to my face; no, I swear, I dislike you too much for that. But I wish, Mr. James, that you wouldn’t make me the topic of your conversations with your friends. I hope I won’t be afraid to run into them for fear of their insults; I don’t want a filthy gossip to tell me that you joke about me with them, considering I seem to be your favorite subject. Even though you've married a tall, awkward woman, Mr. James, I think she deserves to be treated with respect as your wife: honestly, I won’t ask for anything more; truly, Mr. James, I never will. I believe a wife has a right to that.”

“Who told you this, madam?” said James.

“Who told you this, ma'am?” asked James.

“Your slut,” said she; “your wench, your shepherdess.”

“Your slut,” she said; “your girl, your shepherdess.”

“By all that’s sacred!” cries James, “I do not know who the shepherdess was.”

“By all that’s sacred!” shouts James, “I have no idea who the shepherdess was.”

“By all that’s sacred then,” says she, “she told me so, and I am convinced she told me truth. But I do not wonder at you denying it; for that is equally consistent with honour as to behave in such a manner to a wife who is a gentlewoman. I hope you will allow me that, sir. Because I had not quite so great a fortune I hope you do not think me beneath you, or that you did me any honour in marrying me. I am come of as good a family as yourself, Mr. James; and if my brother knew how you treated me he would not bear it.”

“By all that’s holy then,” she says, “she told me so, and I truly believe she spoke the truth. But I’m not surprised that you deny it; your behavior is consistent with your honor just as much as treating a wife who’s a lady in such a way. I hope you’ll accept that, sir. Just because I don’t have as much wealth, I hope you don’t think I’m beneath you, or that you did me a favor by marrying me. I come from just as good a family as you do, Mr. James; and if my brother knew how you’re treating me, he wouldn’t stand for it.”

“Do you threaten me with your brother, madam?” said James.

“Are you threatening me with your brother, ma'am?” James said.

“I will not be ill-treated, sir,” answered she.

"I won't be treated poorly, sir," she replied.

“Nor I neither, madam,” cries he; “and therefore I desire you will prepare to go into the country to-morrow morning.”

“Me neither, ma'am,” he says; “so I’d like you to get ready to head out to the country tomorrow morning.”

“Indeed, sir,” said she, “I shall not.”

“Absolutely, sir,” she replied, “I won’t.”

“By heavens! madam, but you shall,” answered he: “I will have my coach at the door to-morrow morning by seven; and you shall either go into it or be carried.”

“By heavens! Ma'am, but you will,” he replied. “I will have my coach at the door tomorrow morning by seven, and you will either get in or be carried.”

“I hope, sir, you are not in earnest,” said she.

“I hope, sir, you’re not serious,” she said.

“Indeed, madam,” answered he, “but I am in earnest, and resolved; and into the country you go to-morrow.”

“Of course, ma'am,” he replied, “but I'm serious and determined; you're heading to the countryside tomorrow.”

“But why into the country,” said she, “Mr. James? Why will you be so barbarous to deny me the pleasures of the town?”

“But why go to the countryside,” she said, “Mr. James? Why are you being so cruel as to deny me the pleasures of the city?”

“Because you interfere with my pleasures,” cried James, “which I have told you long ago I would not submit to. It is enough for fond couples to have these scenes together. I thought we had been upon a better footing, and had cared too little for each other to become mutual plagues. I thought you had been satisfied with the full liberty of doing what you pleased.”

“Because you mess with my enjoyment,” James shouted, “which I told you a long time ago I wouldn’t tolerate. It’s enough for couples in love to have these moments together. I thought we were on better terms and cared too little about each other to become each other's problems. I thought you were okay with having the freedom to do whatever you wanted.”

“So I am; I defy you to say I have ever given you any uneasiness.”

“So I am; I challenge you to say I have ever caused you any discomfort.”

“How!” cries he; “have you not just now upbraided me with what you heard at the masquerade?”

“How!” he exclaims. “Did you not just scold me for what you heard at the masquerade?”

“I own,” said she, “to be insulted by such a creature to my face stung me to the soul. I must have had no spirit to bear the insults of such an animal. Nay, she spoke of you with equal contempt. Whoever she is, I promise you Mr. Booth is her favourite. But, indeed, she is unworthy any one’s regard, for she behaved like an arrant dragoon.”

“I admit,” she said, “that being insulted to my face by someone like her really hurt me. I must have had no strength to endure the insults from such a person. Besides, she spoke of you with the same disdain. Whoever she is, I assure you Mr. Booth is her favorite. But honestly, she doesn’t deserve anyone’s respect, because she acted like a complete bully.”

“Hang her!” cries the colonel, “I know nothing of her.”

“Hang her!” shouts the colonel, “I don’t know anything about her.”

“Well, but, Mr. James, I am sure you will not send me into the country. Indeed I will not go into the country.”

“Well, Mr. James, I'm sure you won't send me out to the country. I really won’t go out to the country.”

“If you was a reasonable woman,” cries James, “perhaps I should not desire it. And on one consideration—”

“If you were a reasonable woman,” James exclaims, “maybe I wouldn’t want it. And on one condition—”

“Come, name your consideration,” said she.

“Come, tell me what you're thinking,” she said.

“Let me first experience your discernment,” said he. “Come, Molly, let me try your judgment. Can you guess at any woman of your acquaintance that I like?”

“Let me first see how perceptive you are,” he said. “Come on, Molly, let me test your judgment. Can you guess any woman you know that I like?”

“Sure,” said she, “it cannot be Mrs. Booth!”

“Sure,” she said, “it can’t be Mrs. Booth!”

“And why not Mrs. Booth?” answered he. “Is she not the finest woman in the world?”

“And why not Mrs. Booth?” he replied. “Isn’t she the best woman in the world?”

“Very far from it,” replied she, “in my opinion.”

“Not at all,” she replied, “that’s just my opinion.”

“Pray what faults,” said he, “can you find in her?”

“What faults,” he said, “can you find in her?”

“In the first place,” cries Mrs. James, “her eyes are too large; and she hath a look with them that I don’t know how to describe; but I know I don’t like it. Then her eyebrows are too large; therefore, indeed, she doth all in her power to remedy this with her pincers; for if it was not for those her eyebrows would be preposterous. Then her nose, as well proportioned as it is, has a visible scar on one side. Her neck, likewise, is too protuberant for the genteel size, especially as she laces herself; for no woman, in my opinion, can be genteel who is not entirely flat before. And, lastly, she is both too short and too tall. Well, you may laugh, Mr. James, I know what I mean, though I cannot well express it: I mean that she is too tall for a pretty woman and too short for a fine woman. There is such a thing as a kind of insipid medium—a kind of something that is neither one thing nor another. I know not how to express it more clearly; but when I say such a one is a pretty woman, a pretty thing, a pretty creature, you know very well I mean a little woman; and when I say such a one is a very fine woman, a very fine person of a woman, to be sure I must mean a tall woman. Now a woman that is between both is certainly neither the one nor the other.”

“In the first place,” Mrs. James exclaims, “her eyes are too big; and there’s something about her expression that I can’t quite put into words, but I know I don’t like it. Then her eyebrows are too thick; she really tries to fix that with tweezers because without them her eyebrows would look ridiculous. Her nose, while well-shaped, has a noticeable scar on one side. Her neck, also, is too protruding for an elegant size, especially since she laces herself; in my opinion, no woman can be elegant without being completely flat in the front. And finally, she’s both too short and too tall. Well, you can laugh, Mr. James, but I know what I mean, even if I can't explain it well: I mean that she’s too tall to be a pretty woman and too short to be a classy woman. There’s such a thing as an insipid middle ground—a sort of something that is neither here nor there. I can’t state it any clearer; when I say a woman is pretty, a pretty thing, a pretty creature, you know I mean a petite woman; and when I refer to a woman as very fine, a very fine person of a woman, I must mean a tall woman. So a woman who is in between is definitely neither one nor the other.”

“Well, I own,” said he, “you have explained yourself with great dexterity; but, with all these imperfections, I cannot help liking her.”

“Wow, I’ve got to say,” he said, “you’ve explained yourself really well; but despite all these flaws, I can’t help but like her.”

“That you need not tell me, Mr. James,” answered the lady, “for that I knew before you desired me to invite her to your house. And nevertheless, did not I, like an obedient wife, comply with your desires? did I make any objection to the party you proposed for the masquerade, though I knew very well your motive? what can the best of wives do more? to procure you success is not in my power; and, if I may give you my opinion, I believe you will never succeed with her.”

“That you don’t need to tell me, Mr. James,” the lady replied, “because I already knew before you asked me to invite her to your house. And still, didn’t I, like a good wife, go along with your wishes? Did I raise any objections to the guest you suggested for the masquerade, even though I understood your reasons? What more can the best of wives do? It's not in my control to ensure your success; and if I may share my thoughts, I believe you will never win her over.”

“Is her virtue so very impregnable?” said he, with a sneer.

“Is her virtue really that unbreakable?” he said with a sneer.

“Her virtue,” answered Mrs. James, “hath the best guard in the world, which is a most violent love for her husband.”

“Her virtue,” replied Mrs. James, “has the best protection in the world, which is an intense love for her husband.”

“All pretence and affectation,” cries the colonel. “It is impossible she should have so little taste, or indeed so little delicacy, as to like such a fellow.”

“All pretense and show,” exclaims the colonel. “There’s no way she could have such poor taste, or really such a lack of refinement, as to like someone like him.”

“Nay, I do not much like him myself,” said she. “He is not indeed at all such a sort of man as I should like; but I thought he had been generally allowed to be handsome.”

“Actually, I don’t really like him either,” she said. “He’s not at all the kind of guy I would prefer; but I thought he was generally considered good-looking.”

“He handsome!” cries James. “What, with a nose like the proboscis of an elephant, with the shoulders of a porter, and the legs of a chairman? The fellow hath not in the least the look of a gentleman, and one would rather think he had followed the plough than the camp all his life.”

“He's handsome!” yells James. “What? With a nose like an elephant's trunk, the shoulders of a laborer, and the legs of a chair? The guy doesn’t look like a gentleman at all; you’d think he had spent his life working in the fields rather than in the military.”

“Nay, now I protest,” said she, “I think you do him injustice. He is genteel enough in my opinion. It is true, indeed, he is not quite of the most delicate make; but, whatever he is, I am convinced she thinks him the finest man in the world.”

“Nah, I really protest,” she said, “I think you’re being unfair to him. In my opinion, he’s pretty classy. It’s true, he’s not the most refined guy; but, regardless of what he is, I’m convinced she thinks he’s the best man in the world.”

“I cannot believe it,” answered he peevishly; “but will you invite her to dinner here to-morrow?”

“I can't believe it,” he replied irritably. “But will you invite her to dinner here tomorrow?”

“With all my heart, and as often as you please,” answered she. “But I have some favours to ask of you. First, I must hear no more of going out of town till I please.”

“With all my heart, and whenever you want,” she replied. “But I have a few requests to make. First, I don’t want to hear any more about leaving town until I decide to.”

“Very well,” cries he.

"All right," he exclaims.

“In the next place,” said she, “I must have two hundred guineas within these two or three days.”

“In addition,” she said, “I need to have two hundred guineas within the next two or three days.”

“Well, I agree to that too,” answered he.

“Well, I agree to that too,” he replied.

“And when I do go out of town, I go to Tunbridge—I insist upon that; and from Tunbridge I go to Bath—positively to Bath. And I promise you faithfully I will do all in my power to carry Mrs. Booth with me.”

“And when I do go out of town, I go to Tunbridge—I insist on that; and from Tunbridge I go to Bath—definitely to Bath. And I promise you faithfully I will do everything I can to bring Mrs. Booth with me.”

“On that condition,” answered he, “I promise you you shall go wherever you please. And, to shew you, I will even prevent your wishes by my generosity; as soon as I receive the five thousand pounds which I am going to take up on one of my estates, you shall have two hundred more.”

“On that condition,” he replied, “I promise you can go wherever you want. And to prove it, I will even exceed your wishes with my generosity; as soon as I get the five thousand pounds I'm going to collect from one of my properties, you’ll receive two hundred more.”

She thanked him with a low curtesie; and he was in such good humour that he offered to kiss her. To this kiss she coldly turned her cheek, and then, flirting her fan, said, “Mr. James, there is one thing I forgot to mention to you—I think you intended to get a commission in some regiment abroad for this young man. Now if you would take my advice, I know this will not oblige his wife; and, besides, I am positive she resolves to go with him. But, if you can provide for him in some regiment at home, I know she will dearly love you for it, and when he is ordered to quarters she will be left behind; and Yorkshire or Scotland, I think, is as good a distance as either of the Indies.”

She thanked him with a slight curtsy, and he was in such a good mood that he offered to kiss her. She coldly turned her cheek for the kiss, and then, flipping her fan, said, “Mr. James, there’s something I forgot to mention—I think you intended to get a commission for this young man in some regiment overseas. Now, if you take my advice, I know this won’t please his wife; besides, I’m sure she plans to go with him. But if you can arrange for him to be in a regiment at home, I know she will be very grateful to you, and when he’s sent to quarters, she will be left behind; and whether it’s Yorkshire or Scotland, I think that’s just as good a distance as any of the Indies.”

“Well, I will do what I can,” answered James; “but I cannot ask anything yet; for I got two places of a hundred a year each for two of my footmen, within this fortnight.”

“Well, I’ll do what I can,” replied James; “but I can’t ask for anything yet, because I just got two jobs paying a hundred a year each for two of my footmen in the last two weeks.”

At this instant a violent knock at the door signified the arrival of their company, upon which both husband and wife put on their best looks to receive their guests; and, from their behaviour to each other during the rest of the day, a stranger might have concluded he had been in company with the fondest couple in the universe.

At that moment, a loud knock at the door announced the arrival of their guests, prompting both the husband and wife to put on their best expressions to welcome them. From how they interacted with each other for the rest of the day, a stranger might have thought they were the most loving couple in the world.










Chapter ii. — Matters political.

Before we return to Booth we will relate a scene in which Dr Harrison was concerned.

Before we go back to Booth, let's talk about a scene that involved Dr. Harrison.

This good man, whilst in the country, happened to be in the neighbourhood of a nobleman of his acquaintance, and whom he knew to have very considerable interest with the ministers at that time.

This good man, while in the countryside, happened to be near a nobleman he knew, who had significant influence with the ministers at that time.

The doctor, who was very well known to this nobleman, took this opportunity of paying him a visit in order to recommend poor Booth to his favour. Nor did he much doubt of his success, the favour he was to ask being a very small one, and to which he thought the service of Booth gave him so just a title.

The doctor, who was quite familiar to this nobleman, seized the chance to visit him to recommend poor Booth for his support. He wasn't very worried about his chances of success, as the favor he was seeking was quite minor, and he believed that Booth's service provided him with a legitimate reason to ask for it.

The doctor’s name soon gained him an admission to the presence of this great man, who, indeed, received him with much courtesy and politeness; not so much, perhaps, from any particular regard to the sacred function, nor from any respect to the doctor’s personal merit, as from some considerations which the reader will perhaps guess anon. After many ceremonials, and some previous discourse on different subjects, the doctor opened the business, and told the great man that he was come to him to solicit a favour for a young gentleman who had been an officer in the army and was now on half-pay. “All the favour I ask, my lord,” said he, “is, that this gentleman may be again admitted ad eundem. I am convinced your lordship will do me the justice to think I would not ask for a worthless person; but, indeed, the young man I mean hath very extraordinary merit. He was at the siege of Gibraltar, in which he behaved with distinguished bravery, and was dangerously wounded at two several times in the service of his country. I will add that he is at present in great necessity, and hath a wife and several children, for whom he hath no other means of providing; and, if it will recommend him farther to your lordship’s favour, his wife, I believe, is one of the best and worthiest of all her sex.”

The doctor’s name quickly got him an audience with this great man, who welcomed him with courtesy and politeness; not necessarily out of any particular respect for the sacred role, nor for the doctor's personal achievements, but for some reasons that the reader might soon figure out. After many formalities and some initial conversation on various topics, the doctor got to the point and explained that he was there to ask for a favor for a young man who had served as an officer in the army and was now on half-pay. “All I ask, my lord,” he said, “is that this gentleman be readmitted ad eundem. I trust your lordship will recognize that I wouldn’t ask on behalf of someone who isn’t deserving; in fact, the young man I mean has remarkable merit. He was at the siege of Gibraltar, where he displayed exceptional bravery and was seriously wounded twice while serving his country. I should also mention that he is currently in dire need and has a wife and several children depending on him for support; and if it helps his case, his wife is, in my belief, one of the best and most admirable women of her kind.”

“As to that, my dear doctor,” cries the nobleman, “I shall make no doubt. Indeed any service I shall do the gentleman will be upon your account. As to necessity, it is the plea of so many that it is impossible to serve them all. And with regard to the personal merit of these inferior officers, I believe I need not tell you that it is very little regarded. But if you recommend him, let the person be what he will, I am convinced it will be done; for I know it is in your power at present to ask for a greater matter than this.”

“As for that, my dear doctor,” the nobleman exclaims, “I have no doubt at all. In fact, any help I provide to the gentleman will be because of you. Regarding necessity, so many people claim it’s impossible to help everyone. And as for the personal worth of these lower-ranking officers, I don’t think I need to tell you that it isn’t valued much. But if you recommend him, no matter who he is, I’m certain it will happen; because I know you have the ability right now to ask for something much bigger than this.”

“I depend entirely upon your lordship,” answered the doctor.

“I completely rely on you, my lord,” replied the doctor.

“Indeed, my worthy friend,” replied the lord, “I will not take a merit to myself which will so little belong to me. You are to depend on yourself. It falls out very luckily too at this time, when you have it in your power so greatly to oblige us.”

“Absolutely, my good friend,” replied the lord, “I won’t take credit for something that doesn’t truly belong to me. You need to rely on yourself. It also happens to be quite fortunate right now, as you have the chance to help us significantly.”

“What, my lord, is in my power?” cries the doctor.

“What, my lord, can I do?” the doctor exclaims.

“You certainly know,” answered his lordship, “how hard Colonel Trompington is run at your town in the election of a mayor; they tell me it will be a very near thing unless you join us. But we know it is in your power to do the business, and turn the scale. I heard your name mentioned the other day on that account, and I know you may have anything in reason if you will give us your interest.”

“You definitely know,” replied his lordship, “how difficult it is for Colonel Trompington to run in your town for the mayoral election; people are saying it will be very close unless you join us. But we know you have the ability to make it happen and tip the balance. I heard your name mentioned the other day regarding this, and I know you can get anything reasonable if you lend us your support.”

“Sure, my lord,” cries the doctor, “you are not in earnest in asking my interest for the colonel?”

“Sure, my lord,” the doctor exclaims, “you can’t be serious in asking me to care about the colonel?”

“Indeed I am,” answered the peer; “why should you doubt it?”

“Of course I am,” replied the peer; “why would you doubt that?”

“For many reasons,” answered the doctor. “First, I am an old friend and acquaintance of Mr. Fairfield, as your lordship, I believe, very well knows. The little interest, therefore, that I have, you may be assured, will go in his favour. Indeed, I do not concern myself deeply in these affairs, for I do not think it becomes my cloth so to do. But, as far as I think it decent to interest myself, it will certainly be on the side of Mr. Fairfield. Indeed, I should do so if I was acquainted with both the gentlemen only by reputation; the one being a neighbouring gentleman of a very large estate, a very sober and sensible man, of known probity and attachment to the true interest of his country; the other is a mere stranger, a boy, a soldier of fortune, and, as far as I can discern from the little conversation I have had with him, of a very shallow capacity, and no education.”

“For many reasons,” the doctor replied. “First, I’m an old friend of Mr. Fairfield, as you, my lord, I believe, are well aware. So, the little interest I have will definitely be in his favor. Honestly, I don’t get too involved in these matters, as I don’t think it's appropriate for someone in my position to do so. But, to the extent that I think it's decent to take an interest, it will certainly be on Mr. Fairfield's side. In fact, I would still do that even if I only knew both men by reputation; one being a local gentleman with a large estate, a sensible and respectable man known for his integrity and dedication to the true interests of his country; the other is just a stranger, a younger man, a fortune seeker, and from the little conversation I’ve had with him, I can tell he has a very limited intellect and no education.”

“No education, my dear friend!” cries the nobleman. “Why, he hath been educated in half the courts of Europe.”

“No education, my dear friend!” the nobleman exclaims. “Why, he has been educated in half the courts of Europe.”

“Perhaps so, my lord,” answered the doctor; “but I shall always be so great a pedant as to call a man of no learning a man of no education. And, from my own knowledge, I can aver that I am persuaded there is scarce a foot-soldier in the army who is more illiterate than the colonel.”

“Maybe so, my lord,” the doctor replied, “but I’ll always be enough of a pedant to call a man with no learning a man with no education. And from what I know, I can confidently say that there’s hardly a foot soldier in the army who is more illiterate than the colonel.”

“Why, as to Latin and Greek, you know,” replied the lord, “they are not much required in the army.”

“Why, when it comes to Latin and Greek, you know,” replied the lord, “they aren’t really needed in the army.”

“It may be so,” said the doctor. “Then let such persons keep to their own profession. It is a very low civil capacity indeed for which an illiterate man can be qualified. And, to speak a plain truth, if your lordship is a friend to the colonel, you would do well to advise him to decline an attempt in which I am certain he hath no probability of success.”

“It might be true,” said the doctor. “Then those people should stick to their own profession. It really is a very low skill level that an uneducated person can qualify for. And, to be straightforward, if you’re a friend of the colonel, you should advise him to back out of an attempt that I’m sure he has no chance of succeeding in.”

“Well, sir,” said the lord, “if you are resolved against us, I must deal as freely with you, and tell you plainly I cannot serve you in your affair. Nay, it will be the best thing I can do to hold my tongue; for, if I should mention his name with your recommendation after what you have said, he would perhaps never get provided for as long as he lives.”

“Well, sir,” said the lord, “if you’re set against us, I need to be straightforward with you and say I can’t help you with your issue. In fact, the best thing I can do is keep quiet; because if I bring up his name with your recommendation after what you’ve just said, he might never find a position for the rest of his life.”

“Is his own merit, then, my lord, no recommendation?” cries the doctor.

“Is his own merit, then, my lord, not a recommendation?” yells the doctor.

“My dear, dear sir,” cries the other, “what is the merit of a subaltern officer?”

“My dear sir,” the other exclaims, “what's the value of a junior officer?”

“Surely, my lord,” cries the doctor, “it is the merit which should recommend him to the post of a subaltern officer. And it is a merit which will hereafter qualify him to serve his country in a higher capacity. And I do assure of this young man, that he hath not only a good heart but a good head too. And I have been told by those who are judges that he is, for his age, an excellent officer.”

“Of course, my lord,” the doctor exclaims, “it is his qualities that should earn him the position of a junior officer. And those qualities will eventually prepare him to serve his country in a more important role. I can assure you that this young man not only has a good heart but also a good mind. And I’ve heard from those who are experts that he is, for his age, an outstanding officer.”

“Very probably!” cries my lord. “And there are abundance with the same merit and the same qualifications who want a morsel of bread for themselves and their families.”

“Very likely!” exclaims my lord. “And there are plenty with the same skills and qualifications who just want a piece of bread for themselves and their families.”

“It is an infamous scandal on the nation,” cries the doctor; “and I am heartily sorry it can be said even with a colour of truth.”

“It is a notorious scandal for the country,” the doctor exclaims; “and I deeply regret that it can be said even with a hint of truth.”

“How can it be otherwise?” says the peer. “Do you think it is possible to provide for all men of merit?”

“How can it be any other way?” says the peer. “Do you really think it’s possible to take care of all deserving people?”

“Yes, surely do I,” said the doctor; “and very easily too.”

“Yes, I definitely do,” said the doctor; “and it’s very easy as well.”

“How, pray?” cries the lord. “Upon my word, I shall be glad to know.”

“How, please?” exclaims the lord. “I genuinely want to know.”

“Only by not providing for those who have none. The men of merit in any capacity are not, I am afraid, so extremely numerous that we need starve any of them, unless we wickedly suffer a set of worthless fellows to eat their bread.”

“Only by not taking care of those who have none. The truly capable individuals in any role are, unfortunately, not so numerous that we need to let any of them go hungry, unless we cruelly allow a group of useless people to take their share.”

“This is all mere Utopia,” cries his lordship; “the chimerical system of Plato’s commonwealth, with which we amused ourselves at the university; politics which are inconsistent with the state of human affairs.”

“This is all just a fantasy,” his lordship exclaims; “the unrealistic idea of Plato’s ideal society, which we played around with at university; politics that don’t fit with how things really are in the world.”

“Sure, my lord,” cries the doctor, “we have read of states where such doctrines have been put in practice. What is your lordship’s opinion of Rome in the earlier ages of the commonwealth, of Sparta, and even of Athens itself in some periods of its history?”

“Sure, my lord,” the doctor says, “we’ve read about places where these ideas have been practiced. What does your lordship think of Rome in the earlier days of the republic, Sparta, and even Athens during some times in its history?”

“Indeed, doctor,” cries the lord, “all these notions are obsolete and long since exploded. To apply maxims of government drawn from the Greek and Roman histories to this nation is absurd and impossible. But, if you will have Roman examples, fetch them from those times of the republic that were most like our own. Do you not know, doctor, that this is as corrupt a nation as ever existed under the sun? And would you think of governing such a people by the strict principles of honesty and morality?”

“Absolutely, doctor,” the lord exclaims, “all these ideas are outdated and have been thoroughly discredited. It’s ridiculous and impossible to apply principles of governance from Greek and Roman history to our country. However, if you want Roman examples, take them from the times of the republic that resemble our situation the most. Don’t you realize, doctor, that this is one of the most corrupt nations to have ever existed? And would you really consider governing such a people with strict principles of honesty and morality?”

“If it be so corrupt,” said the doctor, “I think it is high time to amend it: or else it is easy to foresee that Roman and British liberty will have the same fate; for corruption in the body politic as naturally tends to dissolution as in the natural body.”

“If it’s that corrupt,” said the doctor, “I think it’s about time to fix it; otherwise, it's easy to predict that Roman and British liberty will share the same fate, because corruption in the political body tends to dissolve just like it does in the natural body.”

“I thank you for your simile,” cries my lord; “for, in the natural body, I believe, you will allow there is the season of youth, the season of manhood, and the season of old age; and that, when the last of these arrives, it will be an impossible attempt by all the means of art to restore the body again to its youth, or to the vigour of its middle age. The same periods happen to every great kingdom. In its youth it rises by arts and arms to power and prosperity. This it enjoys and flourishes with a while; and then it may be said to be in the vigour of its age, enriched at home with all the emoluments and blessings of peace, and formidable abroad with all the terrors of war. At length this very prosperity introduces corruption, and then comes on its old age. Virtue and learning, art and industry, decay by degrees. The people sink into sloth and luxury and prostitution. It is enervated at home—becomes contemptible abroad; and such indeed is its misery and wretchedness, that it resembles a man in the last decrepit stage of life, who looks with unconcern at his approaching dissolution.”

“I appreciate your comparison,” my lord exclaims; “because, in a natural body, there’s the phase of youth, the phase of adulthood, and the phase of old age; and when the last of these arrives, it becomes impossible, no matter the efforts of art, to bring the body back to its youth or the strength of its middle age. The same stages occur in every great kingdom. In its youth, it rises through talent and warfare to power and prosperity. It enjoys and flourishes for a while; then it can be said to be in the prime of its age, thriving with the benefits and blessings of peace, and intimidating abroad with the threats of war. Eventually, this very prosperity leads to decay, and then it enters its old age. Virtue and knowledge, art and hard work, gradually fade. The people fall into laziness and luxury and corruption. It becomes weak at home—loses respect abroad; and such is its suffering and misery that it resembles a person in the final, frail stage of life, who calmly observes their impending demise.”

“This is a melancholy picture indeed,” cries the doctor; “and, if the latter part of it can be applied to our case, I see nothing but religion, which would have prevented this decrepit state of the constitution, should prevent a man of spirit from hanging himself out of the way of so wretched a contemplation.”

“This is a really sad sight,” the doctor exclaims; “and if the latter part applies to our situation, I see nothing but faith, which could have stopped this weak state of the body, and should keep someone with spirit from taking their own life to escape such a miserable thought.”

“Why so?” said the peer; “why hang myself, doctor? Would it not be wiser, think you, to make the best of your time, and the most you can, in such a nation?”

“Why’s that?” said the peer; “why should I hang myself, doctor? Don’t you think it would be smarter to make the most of your time and get as much out of it as you can in a country like this?”

“And is religion, then, to be really laid out of the question?” cries the doctor.

“And is religion really going to be left out of the conversation?” the doctor exclaims.

“If I am to speak my own opinion, sir,” answered the peer, “you know I shall answer in the negative. But you are too well acquainted with the world to be told that the conduct of politicians is not formed upon the principles of religion.”

“If I’m being honest, sir,” replied the peer, “you know I’ll have to say no. But you're too savvy about the world to be told that politicians don't base their actions on religious principles.”

“I am very sorry for it,” cries the doctor; “but I will talk to them then of honour and honesty; this is a language which I hope they will at least pretend to understand. Now to deny a man the preferment which he merits, and to give it to another man who doth not merit it, is a manifest act of injustice, and is consequently inconsistent with both honour and honesty. Nor is it only an act of injustice to the man himself, but to the public, for whose good principally all public offices are, or ought to be, instituted. Now this good can never be completed nor obtained but by employing all persons according to their capacities. Wherever true merit is liable to be superseded by favour and partiality, and men are intrusted with offices without any regard to capacity or integrity, the affairs of that state will always be in a deplorable situation. Such, as Livy tells us, was the state of Capua a little before its final destruction, and the consequence your lordship well knows. But, my lord, there is another mischief which attends this kind of injustice, and that is, it hath a manifest tendency to destroy all virtue and all ability among the people, by taking away all that encouragement and incentive which should promote emulation and raise men to aim at excelling in any art, science, or profession. Nor can anything, my lord, contribute more to render a nation contemptible among its neighbours; for what opinion can other countries have of the councils, or what terror can they conceive of the arms, of such a people? and it was chiefly owing to the avoiding this error that Oliver Cromwell carried the reputation of England higher than it ever was at any other time. I will add only one argument more, and that is founded on the most narrow and selfish system of politics; and this is, that such a conduct is sure to create universal discontent and grumbling at home; for nothing can bring men to rest satisfied, when they see others preferred to them, but an opinion that they deserved that elevation; for, as one of the greatest men this country ever produced observes,

“I’m really sorry about this,” says the doctor; “but I’ll speak to them about honor and honesty; this is a conversation I hope they will at least pretend to understand. Denying someone the position they deserve and giving it to someone who doesn’t is a clear act of injustice, and it goes against both honor and honesty. This isn’t just unfair to the individual but also to the public, for whose benefit all public offices are—or should be—established. The common good can never be fully achieved unless everyone is employed according to their abilities. When true merit can be overshadowed by favoritism and bias, and when people are given positions without considering their skills or integrity, the state’s affairs will always be in a miserable state. This is similar to what Livy describes about Capua just before its destruction, and you’re well aware of the consequences. But, my lord, there’s an additional problem that comes with this kind of injustice: it clearly tends to destroy all virtue and capability among the people by removing the motivation and incentives that should encourage competition and push individuals to excel in any field, discipline, or profession. Nothing can make a nation more contemptible among its neighbors; what respect can other countries have for the decisions or what fear can they have of the military of such a populace? It was mainly because he avoided this mistake that Oliver Cromwell elevated England's reputation to heights it had never seen before. I’ll add one more point, based on a very self-centered view of politics: this type of behavior is bound to cause widespread discontent and complaining at home; nothing makes people feel satisfied if they see others promoted over them, unless they believe those people truly deserved that advancement; for, as one of the greatest figures this country has ever produced observes,

     One worthless man that gains what he pretends
     Disgusts a thousand unpretending friends.
     A worthless man who gets what he pretends
     Repulses a thousand genuine friends.

With what heart-burnings then must any nation see themselves obliged to contribute to the support of a set of men of whose incapacity to serve them they are well apprized, and who do their country a double diskindness, by being themselves employed in posts to which they are unequal, and by keeping others out of those employments for which they are qualified!”

With what deep frustration must any nation feel when they have to support a group of people they know are incapable of serving them, who do their country a disservice by taking on roles they aren't fit for and by blocking others who are qualified from those positions!

“And do you really think, doctor,” cries the nobleman, “that any minister could support himself in this country upon such principles as you recommend? Do you think he would be able to baffle an opposition unless he should oblige his friends by conferring places often contrary to his own inclinations and his own opinion?”

“And do you really think, doctor,” the nobleman exclaims, “that any minister could hold his position in this country based on the principles you suggest? Do you believe he could overcome an opposition unless he regularly rewards his allies with positions, even if it goes against his own preferences and beliefs?”

“Yes, really do I,” cries the doctor. “Indeed, if a minister is resolved to make good his confession in the liturgy, by leaving undone all those things which he ought to have done, and by doing all those things which he ought not to have done, such a minister, I grant, will be obliged to baffle opposition, as you are pleased to term it, by these arts; for, as Shakespeare somewhere says,

“Yes, I really do,” the doctor exclaims. “If a minister is determined to make a genuine confession in the service, by failing to do all the things he should have done, and by doing all the things he shouldn't have done, then yes, that minister will have to overcome opposition, as you like to call it, by using these tricks; because, as Shakespeare mentioned somewhere,

    Things ill begun strengthen themselves by ill.
    Bad beginnings tend to reinforce themselves with more bad.

But if, on the contrary, he will please to consider the true interest of his country, and that only in great and national points; if he will engage his country in neither alliances nor quarrels but where it is really interested; if he will raise no money but what is wanted, nor employ any civil or military officers but what are useful, and place in these employments men of the highest integrity, and of the greatest abilities; if he will employ some few of his hours to advance our trade, and some few more to regulate our domestic government; if he would do this, my lord, I will answer for it, he shall either have no opposition to baffle, or he shall baffle it by a fair appeal to his conduct. Such a minister may, in the language of the law, put himself on his country when he pleases, and he shall come off with honour and applause.”

But if, on the other hand, he chooses to focus on the actual interests of his country, especially concerning significant national matters; if he keeps his country out of alliances or conflicts unless there is a real interest; if he only raises the necessary funds, and employs civil or military officials who are genuinely useful, selecting those with the highest integrity and greatest skills for these roles; if he dedicates some of his time to boost our trade and a bit more to manage our domestic affairs; if he does all this, my lord, I assure you he will either face no opposition to overcome or will successfully counter it with a reasonable explanation of his actions. Such a minister can, as the law states, turn to his country whenever he wants, and he will emerge with honor and praise.

“And do you really believe, doctor,” cries the peer, “there ever was such a minister, or ever will be?”

“And do you really believe, doctor,” the peer exclaims, “that there has ever been such a minister, or ever will be?”

“Why not, my lord?” answered the doctor. “It requires no very extraordinary parts, nor any extraordinary degree of virtue. He need practise no great instances of self-denial. He shall have power, and honour, and riches, and, perhaps, all in a much greater degree than he can ever acquire by pursuing a contrary system. He shall have more of each and much more of safety.”

“Why not, my lord?” replied the doctor. “It doesn’t take any special skills or an extraordinary level of virtue. He doesn’t have to practice major self-denial. He will have power, honor, and wealth, and maybe all of it to a much greater extent than he could ever get by following a different path. He will have more of everything and a lot more safety.”

“Pray, doctor,” said my lord, “let me ask you one simple question. Do you really believe any man upon earth was ever a rogue out of choice?”

“Please, doctor,” my lord said, “let me ask you one simple question. Do you really believe any man on earth has ever chosen to be a rogue?”

“Really, my lord,” says the doctor, “I am ashamed to answer in the affirmative; and yet I am afraid experience would almost justify me if I should. Perhaps the opinion of the world may sometimes mislead men to think those measures necessary which in reality are not so. Or the truth may be, that a man of good inclinations finds his office filled with such corruption by the iniquity of his predecessors, that he may despair of being capable of purging it; and so sits down contented, as Augeas did with the filth of his stables, not because he thought them the better, or that such filth was really necessary to a stable, but that he despaired of sufficient force to cleanse them.”

“Honestly, my lord,” the doctor says, “I’m embarrassed to say yes; yet I fear experience might almost warrant me if I did. Perhaps people’s opinions sometimes mislead men into thinking actions are necessary when, in truth, they’re not. Or maybe the reality is that a well-meaning man finds his position so tainted by the wrongdoing of his predecessors that he loses hope in his ability to clean it up; and so he settles in, like Augeas did with the muck in his stables, not because he believes it’s better that way or that such filth is actually needed in a stable, but because he’s given up hope of having the strength to clean it.”

“I will ask you one question more, and I have done,” said the nobleman. “Do you imagine that if any minister was really as good as you would have him, that the people in general would believe that he was so?”

“I have one more question for you, and then I’m done,” said the nobleman. “Do you really think that if any minister was truly as good as you want him to be, that the general public would actually believe it?”

“Truly, my lord,” said the doctor, “I think they may be justified in not believing too hastily. But I beg leave to answer your lordship’s question by another. Doth your lordship believe that the people of Greenland, when they see the light of the sun and feel his warmth, after so long a season of cold and darkness, will really be persuaded that he shines upon them?”

“Honestly, my lord,” said the doctor, “I think they have a right to be cautious about believing too quickly. But I’d like to respond to your question with another one. Do you believe that the people of Greenland, when they finally see the sun and feel its warmth after such a long period of cold and darkness, will actually be convinced that it’s shining on them?”

My lord smiled at the conceit; and then the doctor took an opportunity to renew his suit, to which his lordship answered, “He would promise nothing, and could give him no hopes of success; but you may be assured,” said he, with a leering countenance, “I shall do him all the service in my power.” A language which the doctor well understood; and soon after took a civil, but not a very ceremonious leave.

My lord smiled at the arrogance; and then the doctor seized the chance to press his request again, to which his lordship replied, “I can’t promise anything, and I can’t give you any hope of success; but you can be sure,” he said, with a sly look, “I’ll do whatever I can to help him.” A message that the doctor clearly understood; and shortly after, he took a polite, but not overly formal, leave.










Chapter iii. — The history of Mr. Trent.

We will now return to Mr. Booth and his wife. The former had spent his time very uneasily ever since he had discovered what sort of man he was indebted to; but, lest he should forget it, Mr. Trent thought now proper to remind him in the following letter, which he read the next morning after he had put off the appointment.

We will now go back to Mr. Booth and his wife. Mr. Booth had been feeling quite uneasy ever since he found out what kind of man he owed money to; however, so he wouldn’t forget, Mr. Trent thought it was a good idea to remind him with the following letter, which he read the next morning after he postponed the appointment.

“SIR,—I am sorry the necessity of my affairs obliges me to mention that small sum which I had the honour to lend you the other night at play; and which I shall be much obliged to you if you will let me have some time either to-day or to-morrow. I am, sir, Your most obedient, most humble servant, GEORGE TRENT.”

“SIR,—I'm sorry that my situation requires me to bring up the small amount I had the pleasure of lending you the other night while playing; I would greatly appreciate it if you could return it to me either today or tomorrow. I am, sir, Your most obedient, humble servant, GEORGE TRENT.”

This letter a little surprized Booth, after the genteel, and, indeed, as it appeared, generous behaviour of Trent. But lest it should have the same effect upon the reader, we will now proceed to account for this, as well as for some other phenomena that have appeared in this history, and which, perhaps, we shall be forgiven for not having opened more largely before.

This letter surprised Booth a bit, especially after Trent's polite and seemingly generous behavior. But to prevent the same reaction in the reader, we'll now explain this, as well as some other events that have occurred in this story, and we hope we're forgiven for not having explained them more thoroughly before.

Mr. Trent then was a gentleman possibly of a good family, for it was not certain whence he sprung on the father’s side. His mother, who was the only parent he ever knew or heard of, was a single gentlewoman, and for some time carried on the trade of a milliner in Covent-garden. She sent her son, at the age of eight years old, to a charity-school, where he remained till he was of the age of fourteen, without making any great proficiency in learning. Indeed it is not very probable he should; for the master, who, in preference to a very learned and proper man, was chosen by a party into this school, the salary of which was upwards of a hundred pounds a-year, had himself never travelled through the Latin Grammar, and was, in truth, a most consummate blockhead.

Mr. Trent was a gentleman who likely came from a good family, though it was unclear where his father was from. His mother, the only parent he ever knew or heard about, was a single woman who worked as a milliner in Covent Garden. When he was eight years old, she sent him to a charity school, where he stayed until he turned fourteen, without making much progress in his studies. In fact, it’s not very likely he would, because the headmaster, who was chosen by a group instead of a much better and more qualified man, had a salary of over a hundred pounds a year, but had never actually studied Latin Grammar and was really just a complete fool.

At the age of fifteen Mr. Trent was put clerk to an attorney, where he remained a very short time before he took leave of his master; rather, indeed, departed without taking leave; and, having broke open his mother’s escritore, and carried off with him all the valuable effects he there found, to the amount of about fifty pounds, he marched off to sea, and went on board a merchantman, whence he was afterwards pressed into a man of war.

At fifteen, Mr. Trent was hired as a clerk for a lawyer, but he didn’t stick around long. In fact, he left without saying goodbye. He broke into his mother’s writing desk and took all the valuables he found there, totaling about fifty pounds. Then he headed off to sea and boarded a merchant ship, from which he was later forced into a warship.

In this service he continued above three years; during which time he behaved so ill in his moral character that he twice underwent a very severe discipline for thefts in which he was detected; but at the same time, he behaved so well as a sailor in an engagement with some pirates, that he wiped off all former scores, and greatly recommended himself to his captain.

In this job, he lasted over three years; during that time, he acted so poorly in terms of his moral character that he faced serious punishment twice for stealing, which he got caught doing. However, he also performed so well as a sailor in a fight against some pirates that he made up for all his past mistakes and earned a lot of respect from his captain.

At his return home, he being then about twenty years of age, he found that the attorney had in his absence married his mother, had buried her, and secured all her effects, to the amount, as he was informed, of about fifteen hundred pound. Trent applied to his stepfather, but to no purpose; the attorney utterly disowned him, nor would he suffer him to come a second time within his doors.

When he returned home, at around twenty years old, he discovered that the attorney had married his mother in his absence, had buried her, and taken control of all her belongings, which he learned were worth about fifteen hundred pounds. Trent approached his stepfather, but it was pointless; the attorney completely rejected him and refused to allow him to come back a second time.

It happened that the attorney had, by a former wife, an only daughter, a great favourite, who was about the same age with Trent himself, and had, during his residence at her father’s house, taken a very great liking to this young fellow, who was extremely handsome and perfectly well made. This her liking was not, during his absence, so far extinguished but that it immediately revived on his return. Of this she took care to give Mr. Trent proper intimation; for she was not one of those backward and delicate ladies who can die rather than make the first overture. Trent was overjoyed at this, and with reason, for she was a very lovely girl in her person, the only child of a rich father; and the prospect of so complete a revenge on the attorney charmed him above all the rest. To be as short in the matter as the parties, a marriage was soon consummated between them.

It just so happened that the lawyer had an only daughter from a previous marriage, who was a great favorite of his. She was about the same age as Trent and, during his time staying at her dad's place, she developed a strong liking for him since he was very handsome and well-built. Her feelings didn't fade while he was away; they came right back when he returned. She made sure to let Mr. Trent know, as she wasn't the type to be shy or hesitant about making the first move. Trent was thrilled by this for good reason—she was a beautiful girl, the only child of a wealthy father, and the thought of a complete triumph over the lawyer delighted him even more. To keep it brief, they quickly got married.

The attorney at first raged and was implacable; but at last fondness for his daughter so far overcame resentment that he advanced a sum of money to buy his son-in-law (for now he acknowledged him as such) an ensign’s commission in a marching regiment then ordered to Gibraltar; at which place the attorney heartily hoped that Trent might be knocked on the head; for in that case he thought he might marry his daughter more agreeably to his own ambition and to her advantage.

The lawyer was initially furious and unyielding; however, his love for his daughter eventually outweighed his anger, and he lent money to buy his son-in-law (now he accepted him as such) a commission as an ensign in a marching regiment sent to Gibraltar. The lawyer sincerely hoped that Trent might get killed there; in that scenario, he believed he could marry off his daughter in a way that better suited his ambitions and her interests.

The regiment into which Trent purchased was the same with that in which Booth likewise served; the one being an ensign, and the other a lieutenant, in the two additional companies.

The regiment Trent joined was the same one where Booth also served; one was an ensign, and the other a lieutenant, in the two extra companies.

Trent had no blemish in his military capacity. Though he had had but an indifferent education, he was naturally sensible and genteel, and Nature, as we have said, had given him a very agreeable person. He was likewise a very bold fellow, and, as he really behaved himself every way well enough while he was at Gibraltar, there was some degree of intimacy between him and Booth.

Trent had no flaws in his military skills. Although his education was only average, he was naturally smart and refined, and as we've mentioned, he was quite attractive. He was also a very daring person, and since he conducted himself well enough while at Gibraltar, he had developed a certain level of closeness with Booth.

When the siege was over, and the additional companies were again reduced, Trent returned to his wife, who received him with great joy and affection. Soon after this an accident happened which proved the utter ruin of his father-in-law, and ended in breaking his heart. This was nothing but making a mistake pretty common at this day, of writing another man’s name to a deed instead of his own. In truth this matter was no less than what the law calls forgery, and was just then made capital by an act of parliament. From this offence, indeed, the attorney was acquitted, by not admitting the proof of the party, who was to avoid his own deed by his evidence, and therefore no witness, according to those excellent rules called the law of evidence; a law very excellently calculated for the preservation of the lives of his majesty’s roguish subjects, and most notably used for that purpose.

When the siege was over and the extra companies were reduced again, Trent went back to his wife, who welcomed him with great joy and affection. Shortly after that, an accident occurred that led to his father-in-law's complete ruin and ultimately broke his heart. This was simply making a mistake that was pretty common at the time: signing another man’s name on a deed instead of his own. In fact, this was nothing less than what the law calls forgery, which had just been made a capital offense by an act of parliament. The attorney was acquitted of this crime since the party involved couldn't provide evidence to escape his own deed, and therefore wasn't considered a witness, according to those excellent principles known as the law of evidence; a law very well designed to protect the lives of his Majesty’s shady subjects, and used notably for that purpose.

But though by common law the attorney was honourably acquitted, yet, as common sense manifested to every one that he was guilty, he unhappily lost his reputation, and of consequence his business; the chagrin of which latter soon put an end to his life.

But even though the attorney was officially cleared of wrongdoing by law, everyone could see that he was guilty, and unfortunately, he lost his reputation and, as a result, his business. The frustration of losing his business quickly led to the end of his life.

This prosecution had been attended with a very great expence; for, besides the ordinary costs of avoiding the gallows by the help of the law, there was a very high article, of no less than a thousand pounds, paid down to remove out of the way a witness against whom there was no legal exception. The poor gentleman had besides suffered some losses in business; so that, to the surprize of all his acquaintance, when his debts were paid there remained no more than a small estate of fourscore pounds a-year, which he settled upon his daughter, far out of the reach of her husband, and about two hundred pounds in money.

This prosecution was very expensive; in addition to the usual costs of avoiding the gallows with legal help, there was a significant payment of no less than a thousand pounds made to get rid of a witness against whom there were no legal grounds for objection. The poor gentleman also faced some business losses, so, to the surprise of all his acquaintances, after settling his debts, he had only a small income of eighty pounds a year left, which he secured for his daughter, well out of her husband’s reach, along with about two hundred pounds in cash.

The old gentleman had not long been in his grave before Trent set himself to consider seriously of the state of his affairs. He had lately begun to look on his wife with a much less degree of liking and desire than formerly; for he was one of those who think too much of one thing is good for nothing. Indeed, he had indulged these speculations so far, that I believe his wife, though one of the prettiest women in town, was the last subject that he would have chose for any amorous dalliance.

The old man had barely been in his grave before Trent started to seriously think about his situation. He had recently begun to see his wife with much less fondness and desire than he used to; he was one of those who believe that too much of anything is not a good thing. In fact, he had dwelled on these thoughts so much that I think his wife, even though she was one of the prettiest women in town, was the last person he would have chosen for any romantic encounter.

Many other persons, however, greatly differed from him in his opinion. Amongst the rest was the illustrious peer of amorous memory. This noble peer, having therefore got a view of Mrs. Trent one day in the street, did, by means of an emissary then with him, make himself acquainted with her lodging, to which he immediately laid siege in form, setting himself down in a lodging directly opposite to her, from whence the battery of ogles began to play the very next morning.

Many other people, however, had a very different opinion from him. Among them was the famous nobleman known for his romantic exploits. One day, after he spotted Mrs. Trent in the street, he sent a messenger to find out where she lived. He then moved into a place directly across from her, where he immediately began his campaign of lingering looks the very next morning.

This siege had not continued long before the governor of the garrison became sufficiently apprized of all the works which were carrying on, and, having well reconnoitered the enemy, and discovered who he was, notwithstanding a false name and some disguise of his person, he called a council of war within his own breast. In fact, to drop all allegory, he began to consider whether his wife was not really a more valuable possession than he had lately thought her. In short, as he had been disappointed in her fortune, he now conceived some hopes of turning her beauty itself into a fortune.

This siege didn't last long before the governor of the garrison became aware of all the activities taking place. After carefully observing the enemy and figuring out who he was, despite the fake name and some disguise, he held a private council of war in his mind. To be direct, he started to think about whether his wife was actually more valuable than he had recently believed. In short, since he had been let down by her fortune, he now entertained some hopes of converting her beauty into a fortune.

Without communicating these views to her, he soon scraped an acquaintance with his opposite neighbour by the name which he there usurped, and counterfeited an entire ignorance of his real name and title. On this occasion Trent had his disguise likewise, for he affected the utmost simplicity; of which affectation, as he was a very artful fellow, he was extremely capable.

Without sharing these thoughts with her, he quickly struck up a friendship with his neighbor, using the name he had taken for himself, and pretended to have no idea what his real name and title were. During this encounter, Trent also wore a disguise, pretending to be utterly simple-minded; being a very clever guy, he was perfectly able to pull off this act.

The peer fell plumb into this snare; and when, by the simplicity, as he imagined, of the husband, he became acquainted with the wife, he was so extravagantly charmed with her person, that he resolved, whatever was the cost or the consequence, he would possess her.

The nobleman fell right into this trap; and when, thinking he was cleverer than the husband, he got to know the wife, he was so completely taken with her beauty that he decided he would have her, no matter the cost or the repercussions.

His lordship, however, preserved some caution in his management of this affair; more, perhaps, than was necessary. As for the husband, none was requisite, for he knew all he could; and, with regard to the wife herself, as she had for some time perceived the decrease of her husband’s affection (for few women are, I believe, to be imposed upon in that matter), she was not displeased to find the return of all that complaisance and endearment, of those looks and languishments, from another agreeable person, which she had formerly received from Trent, and which she now found she should receive from him no longer.

His lordship, however, was somewhat cautious in handling this situation; maybe more so than necessary. As for the husband, he didn’t need to worry, since he knew everything he could. Regarding the wife, she had noticed her husband's dwindling affection for quite a while (since I believe few women can be easily fooled in that regard), and she was not upset to experience the return of the charm and affection, those glances and sighs, from another charming person, which she had previously received from Trent and realized she would no longer get from him.

My lord, therefore, having been indulged with as much opportunity as he could wish from Trent, and having received rather more encouragement than he could well have hoped from the lady, began to prepare all matters for a storm, when luckily, Mr. Trent declaring he must go out of town for two days, he fixed on the first day of his departure as the time of carrying his design into execution.

My lord, having been given as much opportunity as he wanted from Trent, and having received even more encouragement than he could have hoped for from the lady, began to get everything ready for a bold move. Fortunately, when Mr. Trent announced that he would be out of town for two days, he chose the first day of Trent's departure as the perfect time to put his plan into action.

And now, after some debate with himself in what manner he should approach his love, he at last determined to do it in his own person; for he conceived, and perhaps very rightly, that the lady, like Semele, was not void of ambition, and would have preferred Jupiter in all his glory to the same deity in the disguise of an humble shepherd. He dressed himself, therefore, in the richest embroidery of which he was master, and appeared before his mistress arrayed in all the brightness of peerage; a sight whose charms she had not the power to resist, and the consequences are only to be imagined. In short, the same scene which Jupiter acted with his above-mentioned mistress of old was more than beginning, when Trent burst from the closet into which he had conveyed himself, and unkindly interrupted the action.

And now, after some internal debate about how to approach his love, he finally decided to do it in person; he thought, probably correctly, that the lady, like Semele, wasn't without ambition and would have preferred Jupiter in all his glory to the same god disguised as a humble shepherd. So, he dressed himself in the finest embroidery he could manage and showed up before his mistress looking as regal as possible; a sight she found impossible to resist, and the consequences are left to the imagination. In short, just as Jupiter did with his aforementioned mistress long ago, the scene was just starting when Trent suddenly burst out of the closet he had hidden himself in and unkindly interrupted everything.

His lordship presently run to his sword; but Trent, with great calmness, answered, “That, as it was very well known he durst fight, he should not draw his sword on this occasion; for sure,” says he, “my lord, it would be the highest imprudence in me to kill a man who is now become so considerably my debtor.” At which words he fetched a person from the closet, who had been confined with him, telling him he had done his business, and might now, if he pleased, retire.

His lordship quickly reached for his sword; however, Trent calmly replied, “Since it is well known that I’m willing to fight, I won’t draw my sword this time. After all,” he said, “my lord, it would be extremely unwise of me to kill a man who is now quite substantially in my debt.” With those words, he brought out a person from the closet who had been locked up with him, telling him that he had taken care of what they needed to do and that he could now leave if he wanted.

It would be tedious here to amuse the reader with all that passed on the present occasion; the rage and confusion of the wife, or the perplexity in which my lord was involved. We will omit therefore all such matters, and proceed directly to business, as Trent and his lordship did soon after. And in the conclusion my lord stipulated to pay a good round sum, and to provide Mr. Trent with a good place on the first opportunity.

It would be boring to recount everything that happened in this situation—the wife's anger and confusion, or the dilemma my lord found himself in. So, let's skip those details and get straight to the point, just like Trent and my lord did shortly after. In the end, my lord agreed to pay a decent amount and to offer Mr. Trent a good position at the earliest opportunity.

On the side of Mr. Trent were stipulated absolute remission of all past, and full indulgence for the time to come.

On Mr. Trent's side, there was a complete release from all past issues and total leniency for the future.

Trent now immediately took a house at the polite end of the town, furnished it elegantly, and set up his equipage, rigged out both himself and his wife with very handsome cloaths, frequented all public places where he could get admission, pushed himself into acquaintance, and his wife soon afterwards began to keep an assembly, or, in the fashionable phrase, to be at home once a-week; when, by my lord’s assistance, she was presently visited by most men of the first rank, and by all such women of fashion as are not very nice in their company.

Trent quickly rented a house in the upscale part of town, furnished it stylishly, and arranged for his transportation. He dressed himself and his wife in very nice clothes, attended all the public places he could get into, made connections with people, and soon after, his wife began hosting gatherings, or as it's currently said, “being at home” once a week. With the help of his lordship, she was soon visited by most high-ranking men and all the fashionable women who aren’t too picky about their companions.

My lord’s amour with this lady lasted not long; for, as we have before observed, he was the most inconstant of all human race. Mrs. Trent’s passion was not however of that kind which leads to any very deep resentment of such fickleness. Her passion, indeed, was principally founded upon interest; so that foundation served to support another superstructure; and she was easily prevailed upon, as well as her husband, to be useful to my lord in a capacity which, though very often exerted in the polite world, hath not as yet, to my great surprize, acquired any polite name, or, indeed, any which is not too coarse to be admitted in this history.

My lord’s affair with this lady didn’t last long; as we’ve noted before, he was the most fickle person imaginable. Mrs. Trent’s feelings, however, weren’t the type that would lead to any serious resentment over such inconsistency. Her feelings were mostly driven by self-interest, which allowed her to build upon that foundation, so she and her husband were easily convinced to help my lord in a role that, while commonly seen in polite society, hasn’t yet, to my surprise, earned any classy title, or really any name that isn’t too crude to mention in this story.

After this preface, which we thought necessary to account for a character of which some of my country and collegiate readers might possibly doubt the existence, I shall proceed to what more immediately regards Mrs. Booth. The reader may be pleased to remember that Mr. Trent was present at the assembly to which Booth and his wife were carried by Mrs. James, and where Amelia was met by the noble peer.

After this introduction, which we felt was important to clarify a character that some of my fellow countrymen and college readers might question the existence of, I will move on to what directly concerns Mrs. Booth. The reader may recall that Mr. Trent was at the gathering where Booth and his wife were brought by Mrs. James, and where Amelia encountered the noble peer.

His lordship, seeing there that Booth and Trent were old acquaintance, failed not, to use the language of sportsmen, to put Trent upon the scent of Amelia. For this purpose that gentleman visited Booth the very next day, and had pursued him close ever since. By his means, therefore, my lord learned that Amelia was to be at the masquerade, to which place she was dogged by Trent in a sailor’s jacket, who, meeting my lord, according to agreement, at the entrance of the opera-house, like the four-legged gentleman of the same vocation, made a dead point, as it is called, at the game.

His lordship, noticing that Booth and Trent were old friends, made sure to hint to Trent about Amelia. So, the very next day, that guy visited Booth and has been following him closely ever since. Because of this, my lord found out that Amelia would be at the masquerade, which Trent tracked her to in a sailor's jacket. When he met my lord, as agreed, at the entrance of the opera house, he locked onto the target, just like a hunting dog does.

My lord was so satisfied and delighted with his conversation at the masquerade with the supposed Amelia, and the encouragement which in reality she had given him, that, when he saw Trent the next morning, he embraced him with great fondness, gave him a bank note of a hundred pound, and promised him both the Indies on his success, of which he began now to have no manner of doubt.

My lord was so pleased and happy with his conversation at the masquerade with the supposed Amelia, and the encouragement she had actually given him, that when he saw Trent the next morning, he hugged him warmly, gave him a hundred-pound banknote, and promised him both the Indies based on his success, of which he was now completely confident.

The affair that happened at the gaming-table was likewise a scheme of Trent’s, on a hint given by my lord to him to endeavour to lead Booth into some scrape or distress; his lordship promising to pay whatever expense Trent might be led into by such means. Upon his lordship’s credit, therefore, the money lent to Booth was really advanced. And hence arose all that seeming generosity and indifference as to the payment; Trent being satisfied with the obligation conferred on Booth, by means of which he hoped to effect his purpose.

The incident at the gaming table was also a plot by Trent, based on a suggestion from my lord to try to get Booth into some trouble or hardship; his lordship promised to cover any costs that Trent might incur through this plan. So, with his lord’s backing, the money lent to Booth was actually provided. This is how all that apparent generosity and nonchalance about payment came about; Trent was content with the favor granted to Booth, through which he hoped to achieve his goal.

But now the scene was totally changed; for Mrs. Atkinson, the morning after the quarrel, beginning seriously to recollect that she had carried the matter rather too far, and might really injure Amelia’s reputation, a thought to which the warm pursuit of her own interest had a good deal blinded her at the time, resolved to visit my lord himself, and to let him into the whole story; for, as she had succeeded already in her favourite point, she thought she had no reason to fear any consequence of the discovery. This resolution she immediately executed.

But now the situation had completely changed; the morning after the argument, Mrs. Atkinson started to realize that she had taken things a bit too far and could actually harm Amelia’s reputation, a fact she had been blinded to by her own interests at the time. She decided to visit my lord himself and share the entire story with him; since she had already achieved her main goal, she felt there was no reason to worry about the fallout from this revelation. She immediately acted on this decision.

Trent came to attend his lordship, just after Mrs. Atkinson had left him. He found the peer in a very ill humour, and brought no news to comfort or recruit his spirits; for he had himself just received a billet from Booth, with an excuse for himself and his wife from accepting the invitation at Trent’s house that evening, where matters had been previously concerted for their entertainment, and when his lordship was by accident to drop into the room where Amelia was, while Booth was to be engaged at play in another.

Trent came to serve his lord just after Mrs. Atkinson had left. He found the lord in a terrible mood and had no news to lift his spirits; in fact, he had just received a note from Booth, where Booth and his wife offered an excuse for not accepting the invitation to Trent’s house that evening. They were supposed to be entertained there, and it was planned for the lord to accidentally enter the room where Amelia was while Booth would be busy playing cards in another room.

And now after much debate, and after Trent had acquainted my lord with the wretched situation of Booth’s circumstances, it was resolved that Trent should immediately demand his money of Booth, and upon his not paying it, for they both concluded it impossible he should pay it, to put the note which Trent had for the money in suit against him by the genteel means of paying it away to a nominal third person; and this they both conceived must end immediately in the ruin of Booth, and, consequently, in the conquest of Amelia.

And now, after a lot of discussion, and after Trent had informed my lord about Booth's awful situation, they decided that Trent should immediately demand his money from Booth. Since they both agreed it was unlikely Booth could pay, they planned to take the note Trent had for the money and bring it to court against him by the classy method of transferring it to a fake third person. They both believed this would quickly lead to Booth's downfall and, as a result, to Amelia's defeat.

In this project, and with this hope, both my lord and his setter, or (if the sportsmen please) setting-dog, both greatly exulted; and it was next morning executed, as we have already seen.

In this project, with this hope, both my lord and his setter, or (if the sportsmen prefer) setting-dog, both celebrated greatly; and it was carried out the next morning, as we have already seen.










Chapter iv. — Containing some distress.

Trent’s letter drove Booth almost to madness. To be indebted to such a fellow at any rate had stuck much in his stomach, and had given him very great uneasiness; but to answer this demand in any other manner than by paying the money was absolutely what he could not bear. Again, to pay this money, he very plainly saw there was but one way, and this was, by stripping his wife, not only of every farthing, but almost of every rag she had in the world; a thought so dreadful that it chilled his very soul with horror: and yet pride, at last, seemed to represent this as the lesser evil of the two.

Trent’s letter drove Booth nearly to madness. The idea of being in debt to someone like him was really hard to swallow and made him extremely uneasy; but he couldn’t stand the thought of responding to this demand in any way other than by paying the money. Yet, he clearly saw there was only one way to pay this money, and that was by taking away every penny from his wife, practically stripping her of every stitch she had. The idea was so horrific that it chilled him to the bone: and yet, in the end, pride seemed to make him see this as the lesser of two evils.

But how to do this was still a question. It was not sure, at least he feared it was not, that Amelia herself would readily consent to this; and so far from persuading her to such a measure, he could not bear even to propose it. At length his determination was to acquaint his wife with the whole affair, and to ask her consent, by way of asking her advice; for he was well assured she could find no other means of extricating him out of his dilemma. This he accordingly did, representing the affair as bad as he could; though, indeed, it was impossible for him to aggravate the real truth.

But how to do this was still a question. He wasn't sure—at least he feared he wasn’t—that Amelia would easily agree to it; and far from convincing her to take such a step, he couldn't even bring himself to suggest it. Eventually, he decided to tell his wife everything and ask for her consent, framing it as asking for her advice; he was sure she could find another way to help him out of his dilemma. So, he went ahead and did this, presenting the situation in the worst light possible; although, in truth, it was impossible for him to exaggerate the reality.

Amelia heard him patiently, without once interrupting him. When he had finished, she remained silent some time: indeed, the shock she received from this story almost deprived her of the power of speaking. At last she answered, “Well, my dear, you ask my advice; I certainly can give you no other than that the money must be paid.”

Amelia listened to him patiently, not interrupting once. When he finished, she stayed quiet for a while; the shock from his story nearly left her unable to speak. Finally, she replied, “Well, my dear, you’re looking for my advice; I really can’t tell you anything other than that the money has to be paid.”

“But how must it be paid?” cries he. “O, heavens! thou sweetest creature! what, not once upbraid me for bringing this ruin on thee?”

“But how do I have to pay it?” he exclaims. “Oh, my God! you sweetest being! What, you won’t even blame me once for bringing this disaster upon you?”

“Upbraid you, my dear!” says she; “would to heaven I could prevent your upbraiding yourself. But do not despair. I will endeavour by some means or other to get you the money.”

“Don’t blame yourself, my dear!” she says; “I wish I could stop you from being so hard on yourself. But don’t lose hope. I’ll find a way to get you the money.”

“Alas! my dear love,” cries Booth, “I know the only way by which you can raise it. How can I consent to that? do you forget the fears you so lately expressed of what would be our wretched condition when our little all was mouldered away? O my Amelia! they cut my very heart-strings when you spoke then; for I had then lost this little all. Indeed, I assure you, I have not played since, nor ever will more.”

“Alas! my dear love,” Booth cries, “I know the only way you can bring it back. How can I agree to that? Do you forget the fears you expressed not long ago about how miserable we would be once our little everything was gone? Oh, my Amelia! It broke my heart when you said that because I had already lost our little everything. I promise you, I haven't played since and I never will again.”

“Keep that resolution,” said she, “my dear, and I hope we shall yet recover the past.”—At which words, casting her eyes on the children, the tears burst from her eyes, and she cried—“Heaven will, I hope, provide for us.”

“Stick to that resolution,” she said, “my dear, and I hope we can still get back what we lost.” As she said this, she looked at the children and tears streamed down her face as she exclaimed, “I hope Heaven will take care of us.”

A pathetic scene now ensued between the husband and wife, which would not, perhaps, please many readers to see drawn at too full a length. It is sufficient to say that this excellent woman not only used her utmost endeavours to stifle and conceal her own concern, but said and did everything in her power to allay that of her husband.

A sad scene now unfolded between the husband and wife, which might not please many readers if described in too much detail. It’s enough to say that this wonderful woman not only tried hard to hide and suppress her own worries, but also did everything she could to ease her husband’s anxiety.

Booth was, at this time, to meet a person whom we have formerly mentioned in the course of our history. This gentleman had a place in the War-office, and pretended to be a man of great interest and consequence; by which means he did not only receive great respect and court from the inferiour officers, but actually bubbled several of their money, by undertaking to do them services which, in reality, were not within his power. In truth, I have known few great men who have not been beset with one or more such fellows as these, through whom the inferior part of mankind are obliged to make their court to the great men themselves; by which means, I believe, principally, persons of real merit have often been deterred from the attempt; for these subaltern coxcombs ever assume an equal state with their masters, and look for an equal degree of respect to be paid to them; to which men of spirit, who are in every light their betters, are not easily brought to submit. These fellows, indeed, themselves have a jealous eye towards all great abilities, and are sure, to the utmost of their power, to keep all who are so endowed from the presence of their masters. They use their masters as bad ministers have sometimes used a prince—they keep all men of merit from his ears, and daily sacrifice his true honour and interest to their own profit and their own vanity.

Booth was about to meet someone we’ve mentioned earlier in our story. This guy worked at the War Office and acted like he was really important. Because of this, he received a lot of respect and attention from the junior officers, but he also scammed some of their money by promising to help them with things that he couldn't actually do. Honestly, I’ve seen few prominent people who haven’t had to deal with one or more of these types, through whom the lesser individuals feel they have to get to the high-ranking ones. Because of this, I believe that many truly talented people have often been discouraged from trying, since these inferior fools act as if they're on the same level as their bosses and expect to be treated with the same level of respect. People with true spirit, who are in every way better than them, don't easily bow down. These guys keep a close eye on anyone with real talent and do everything they can to prevent such individuals from getting close to their bosses. They’re like bad advisors who manipulate a prince—they keep talented people away from their leaders and regularly sacrifice their master's true honor and interests for their own gain and pride.

As soon as Booth was gone to his appointment with this man, Amelia immediately betook herself to her business with the highest resolution. She packed up, not only her own little trinkets, and those of the children, but the greatest part of her own poor cloathes (for she was but barely provided), and then drove in a hackney-coach to the same pawnbroker’s who had before been recommended to her by Mrs. Atkinson, who advanced her the money she desired.

As soon as Booth left for his meeting with the man, Amelia got to work with determination. She packed not only her own little belongings and those of the kids, but also most of her meager clothes (since she didn’t have much), and then took a cab to the same pawn shop that Mrs. Atkinson had previously recommended, where she got the money she needed.

Being now provided with her sum, she returned well pleased home, and her husband coming in soon after, she with much chearfulness delivered him all the money.

Being now given her amount, she happily returned home, and her husband came in shortly after; she cheerfully shared all the money with him.

Booth was so overjoyed with the prospect of discharging his debt to Trent, that he did not perfectly reflect on the distress to which his family was now reduced. The good-humour which appeared in the countenance of Amelia was, perhaps, another help to stifle those reflexions; but above all, were the assurances he had received from the great man, whom he had met at a coffee-house, and who had promised to do him all the service in his power; which several half-pay subaltern officers assured him was very considerable.

Booth was so thrilled at the idea of paying off his debt to Trent that he didn’t fully consider the hardships his family was now facing. The cheerful expression on Amelia's face probably helped him push those thoughts aside, but more than anything, it was the assurances he got from the important man he met at a coffee house, who promised to help him as much as he could; several retired officers assured him that this support would be quite significant.

With this comfortable news he acquainted his wife, who either was, or seemed to be, extremely well pleased with it. And now he set out with the money in his pocket to pay his friend Trent, who unluckily for him happened not to be at home.

With this good news, he told his wife, who either was, or appeared to be, very happy about it. He then headed out with the money in his pocket to pay his friend Trent, who unfortunately wasn't home.

On his return home he met his old friend the lieutenant, who thankfully paid him his crown, and insisted on his going with him and taking part of a bottle. This invitation was so eager and pressing, that poor Booth, who could not resist much importunity, complied.

On his way home, he ran into his old friend the lieutenant, who gratefully paid him his crown and insisted that he join him for a drink. The invitation was so enthusiastic and urgent that poor Booth, who had a hard time saying no, agreed.

While they were over this bottle Booth acquainted his friend with the promises he had received that afternoon at the coffee-house, with which the old gentleman was very well pleased: “For I have heard,” says he, “that gentleman hath very powerful interest;” but he informed him likewise that he had heard that the great man must be touched, for that he never did anything without touching. Of this, indeed, the great man himself had given some oblique hints, by saying, with great sagacity and slyness, that he knew where fifty pound might be deposited to much advantage.

While they were enjoying this bottle, Booth filled his friend in on the promises he had received that afternoon at the coffee house, which the old gentleman found very satisfying: “I've heard,” he said, “that this guy has a lot of powerful connections;” but he also shared that he heard the big name needed a little nudge, since he never did anything without being prompted. In fact, the big name himself had dropped some hints, saying, with cleverness and a sly grin, that he knew where fifty pounds could be placed to good benefit.

Booth answered that he would very readily advance a small sum if he had it in his power, but that at present it was not so, for that he had no more in the world than the sum of fifty pounds, which he owed Trent, and which he intended to pay him the next morning.

Booth replied that he would gladly lend a small amount if he could, but right now, he couldn't because he only had fifty pounds, which he owed to Trent and planned to pay back the next morning.

“It is very right, undoubtedly, to pay your debts,” says the old gentleman; “but sure, on such an occasion, any man but the rankest usurer would be contented to stay a little while for his money; and it will be only a little while I am convinced; for, if you deposit this sum in the great man’s hands, I make no doubt but you will succeed immediately in getting your commission; and then I will help you to a method of taking up such a sum as this.” The old gentleman persisted in this advice, and backed it with every argument he could invent, declaring, as was indeed true, that he gave the same advice which he would pursue was the case his own.

“It’s definitely right to pay your debts,” says the old gentleman, “but honestly, on an occasion like this, any man who's not an outright moneylender would be willing to wait a bit for his payment; and I’m sure it will only be a short wait. If you put this money in the hands of the important man, I have no doubt you’ll quickly get your commission; and then I’ll help you figure out how to gather such an amount as this.” The old gentleman kept insisting on this advice, supporting it with every argument he could think of, claiming, as was indeed true, that he would give the same advice if he were in the same situation.

Booth long rejected the opinion of his friend, till, as they had not argued with dry lips, he became heated with wine, and then at last the old gentleman succeeded. Indeed, such was his love, either for Booth or for his own opinion, and perhaps for both, that he omitted nothing in his power. He even endeavoured to palliate the character of Trent, and unsaid half what he had before said of that gentleman. In the end, he undertook to make Trent easy, and to go to him the very next morning for that purpose.

Booth had long dismissed his friend's opinion until, after a few drinks, he became more open-minded, and finally, the old man got through to him. Really, his affection—whether for Booth, his own views, or maybe a bit of both—drove him to do everything he could. He even tried to soften the image of Trent, taking back half of what he had previously said about him. In the end, he decided to make amends with Trent and promised to visit him the very next morning to do so.

Poor Booth at last yielded, though with the utmost difficulty. Indeed, had he known quite as much of Trent as the reader doth, no motive whatsoever would have prevailed on him to have taken the old gentleman’s advice.

Poor Booth finally gave in, though it was incredibly hard for him. In fact, if he had known as much about Trent as the reader does, nothing would have convinced him to follow the old gentleman’s advice.










Chapter v. — Containing more wormwood and other ingredients.

In the morning Booth communicated the matter to Amelia, who told him she would not presume to advise him in an affair of which he was so much the better judge.

In the morning, Booth talked to Amelia about the situation, and she told him she wouldn’t dare to advise him on something that he understood much better.

While Booth remained in a doubtful state what conduct to pursue Bound came to make him a visit, and informed him that he had been at Trent’s house, but found him not at home, adding that he would pay him a second visit that very day, and would not rest till he found him.

While Booth was unsure about how to act, Bound came to visit him and told him that he had been to Trent’s house but didn’t find him there. He added that he would return later that day and wouldn’t stop until he found him.

Booth was ashamed to confess his wavering resolution in an affair in which he had been so troublesome to his friend; he therefore dressed himself immediately, and together they both went to wait on the little great man, to whom Booth now hoped to pay his court in the most effectual manner.

Booth was embarrassed to admit his uncertain determination in a situation where he had been such a hassle to his friend; so he quickly got ready, and together they went to visit the little great man, whom Booth now hoped to impress in the most effective way.

Bound had been longer acquainted with the modern methods of business than Booth; he advised his friend, therefore, to begin with tipping (as it is called) the great man’s servant. He did so, and by that means got speedy access to the master.

Bound had known the modern ways of doing business longer than Booth; he advised his friend to start by tipping the great man’s servant. He did, and through that, he quickly got access to the master.

The great man received the money, not as a gudgeon doth a bait, but as a pike receives a poor gudgeon into his maw. To say the truth, such fellows as these may well be likened to that voracious fish, who fattens himself by devouring all the little inhabitants of the river. As soon as the great man had pocketed the cash, he shook Booth by the hand, and told him he would be sure to slip no opportunity of serving him, and would send him word as soon as any offered.

The great man took the money, not like a naïve fish goes for bait, but like a predator fish devours a smaller one. Honestly, people like him can easily be compared to that greedy fish that fattens up by eating all the little creatures in the river. Once the great man had pocketed the cash, he shook Booth's hand and promised that he wouldn’t miss any chance to help him, and would let him know as soon as an opportunity came up.

Here I shall stop one moment, and so, perhaps, will my good-natured reader; for surely it must be a hard heart which is not affected with reflecting on the manner in which this poor little sum was raised, and on the manner in which it was bestowed. A worthy family, the wife and children of a man who had lost his blood abroad in the service of his country, parting with their little all, and exposed to cold and hunger, to pamper such a fellow as this!

Here I'll pause for a moment, and maybe my kind reader will too; because it must take a tough heart not to be moved by thinking about how this small amount was gathered and how it was given. A decent family, the wife and children of a man who sacrificed his life for his country abroad, giving up their meager possessions and facing cold and hunger just to support someone like this!

And if any such reader as I mention should happen to be in reality a great man, and in power, perhaps the horrour of this picture may induce him to put a final end to this abominable practice of touching, as it is called; by which, indeed, a set of leeches are permitted to suck the blood of the brave and the indigent, of the widow and the orphan.

And if any reader I mentioned actually happens to be an important person in a position of power, maybe the horror of this situation will motivate them to put a stop to this terrible practice known as touching; in which a group of leeches is allowed to drain the life from the brave, the poor, the widows, and the orphans.

Booth now returned home, where he found his wife with Mrs. James. Amelia had, before the arrival of her husband, absolutely refused Mrs. James’s invitation to dinner the next day; but when Booth came in the lady renewed her application, and that in so pressing a manner, that Booth seconded her; for, though he had enough of jealousy in his temper, yet such was his friendship to the colonel, and such his gratitude to the obligations which he had received from him, that his own unwillingness to believe anything of him, co-operating with Amelia’s endeavours to put everything in the fairest light, had brought him to acquit his friend of any ill design. To this, perhaps, the late affair concerning my lord had moreover contributed; for it seems to me that the same passion cannot much energize on two different objects at one and the same time: an observation which, I believe, will hold as true with regard to the cruel passions of jealousy and anger as to the gentle passion of love, in which one great and mighty object is sure to engage the whole passion.

Booth returned home, where he found his wife with Mrs. James. Amelia had, before her husband arrived, completely turned down Mrs. James’s invitation to dinner the next day; but when Booth walked in, the lady pushed her request again in such an urgent manner that Booth supported her; for, although he often felt jealousy, his friendship for the colonel and his gratitude for what he owed him made him reluctant to believe anything bad about him. Amelia's efforts to put everything in the best light also helped convince him that his friend had no harmful intentions. Additionally, the recent situation with my lord may have played a role; it seems to me that the same passion can't strongly affect two different targets at the same time: I believe this is true for the intense feelings of jealousy and anger, as well as for the gentle feeling of love, where one significant and powerful object tends to capture all that emotion.

When Booth grew importunate, Amelia answered, “My dear, I should not refuse you whatever was in my power; but this is absolutely out of my power; for since I must declare the truth, I cannot dress myself.”

When Booth became persistent, Amelia replied, “My dear, I wouldn’t deny you anything I could do; but this is completely beyond my ability; because, to be honest, I can't get dressed myself.”

“Why so?” said Mrs. James.” I am sure you are in good health.”

“Why is that?” said Mrs. James. “I’m sure you’re in good health.”

“Is there no other impediment to dressing but want of health, madam?” answered Amelia.

“Is there no other reason for not dressing besides being unwell, ma’am?” answered Amelia.

“Upon my word, none that I know of,” replied Mrs. James.

“Honestly, none that I know of,” replied Mrs. James.

“What do you think of want of cloathes, madam?” said Amelia.

“What do you think about the lack of clothes, ma'am?” said Amelia.

“Ridiculous!” cries Mrs. James. “What need have you to dress yourself out? You will see nobody but our own family, and I promise you I don’t expect it. A plain night-gown will do very well.”

“Ridiculous!” Mrs. James exclaims. “What’s the point of dressing up? You’ll only see our family, and I assure you I don’t expect it. A simple nightgown will be just fine.”

“But if I must be plain with you, madam,” said Amelia, “I have no other cloathes but what I have now on my back. I have not even a clean shift in the world; for you must know, my dear,” said she to Booth, “that little Betty is walked off this morning, and hath carried all my linen with her.”

“But if I have to be straight with you, ma’am,” said Amelia, “I don’t have any other clothes besides what I’m wearing right now. I don’t even have a clean shift anywhere; you see, my dear,” she said to Booth, “little Betty left this morning and took all my linen with her.”

“How, my dear?” cries Booth; “little Betty robbed you?”

“How, my dear?” Booth exclaims; “did little Betty steal from you?”

“It is even so,” answered Amelia. Indeed, she spoke truth; for little Betty, having perceived the evening before that her mistress was moving her goods, was willing to lend all the assistance in her power, and had accordingly moved off early that morning, taking with her whatever she could lay her hands on.

“It’s true,” replied Amelia. In fact, she was telling the truth; because little Betty, having noticed the night before that her boss was packing up her things, was eager to help in any way she could, and so she had left early that morning, taking with her everything she could find.

Booth expressed himself with some passion on the occasion, and swore he would make an example of the girl. “If the little slut be above ground,” cried he, “I will find her out, and bring her to justice.”

Booth spoke passionately at the time, declaring that he would set an example with the girl. “If that little brat is still around,” he shouted, “I will track her down and make sure she faces justice.”

“I am really sorry for this accident,” said Mrs. James, “and (though I know not how to mention it) I beg you’ll give me leave to offer you any linen of mine till you can make new of your own.”

“I’m really sorry about this accident,” said Mrs. James, “and (even though I’m not sure how to say it) I hope you’ll let me offer you some of my linen until you can make some new ones of your own.”

Amelia thanked Mrs. James, but declined the favour, saying, she should do well enough at home; and that, as she had no servant now to take care of her children, she could not, nor would not, leave them on any account.

Amelia thanked Mrs. James but declined the favor, saying she would manage just fine at home. She mentioned that since she didn't have a servant to take care of her children, she couldn't and wouldn't leave them for any reason.

“Then bring master and miss with you,” said Mrs. James. “You shall positively dine with us tomorrow.”

“Then bring your master and miss along,” said Mrs. James. “You’re definitely having dinner with us tomorrow.”

“I beg, madam, you will mention it no more,” said Amelia; “for, besides the substantial reasons I have already given, I have some things on my mind at present which make me unfit for company; and I am resolved nothing shall prevail on me to stir from home.” Mrs. James had carried her invitation already to the very utmost limits of good breeding, if not beyond them. She desisted therefore from going any further, and, after some short stay longer, took her leave, with many expressions of concern, which, however, great as it was, left her heart and her mouth together before she was out of the house.

“I really wish you wouldn’t bring it up again,” Amelia said. “Aside from the solid reasons I've already shared, I have a lot on my mind right now that makes me feel unfit for company, and I've decided I won’t be leaving home.” Mrs. James had already pushed her invitation to the limits of politeness, if not overstepped them. So, she stopped pressing the issue and, after a brief stay, said her goodbyes with many expressions of concern, which, no matter how sincere, faded from her face before she even exited the house.

Booth now declared that he would go in pursuit of little Betty, against whom he vowed so much vengeance, that Amelia endeavoured to moderate his anger by representing to him the girl’s youth, and that this was the first fault she had ever been guilty of. “Indeed,” says she, “I should be very glad to have my things again, and I would have the girl too punished in some degree, which might possibly be for her own good; but I tremble to think of taking away her life;” for Booth in his rage had sworn he would hang her.

Booth now declared that he would go after little Betty, against whom he vowed so much revenge that Amelia tried to calm his anger by pointing out the girl’s youth and that this was the first mistake she had ever made. “Honestly,” she said, “I would really like to have my things back, and I would want the girl to be punished to some extent, which could possibly be for her own good; but I’m terrified at the thought of taking her life,” since Booth, in his rage, had sworn he would hang her.

“I know the tenderness of your heart, my dear,” said Booth, “and I love you for it; but I must beg leave to dissent from your opinion. I do not think the girl in any light an object of mercy. She is not only guilty of dishonesty but of cruelty; for she must know our situation and the very little we had left. She is besides guilty of ingratitude to you, who have treated her with so much kindness, that you have rather acted the part of a mother than of a mistress. And, so far from thinking her youth an excuse, I think it rather an aggravation. It is true, indeed, there are faults which the youth of the party very strongly recommends to our pardon. Such are all those which proceed from carelessness and want of thought; but crimes of this black dye, which are committed with deliberation, and imply a bad mind, deserve a more severe punishment in a young person than in one of riper years; for what must the mind be in old age which hath acquired such a degree of perfection in villany so very early? Such persons as these it is really a charity to the public to put out of the society; and, indeed, a religious man would put them out of the world for the sake of themselves; for whoever understands anything of human nature must know that such people, the longer they live, the more they will accumulate vice and wickedness.”

“I know how gentle your heart is, my dear,” Booth said, “and I love you for it; but I must respectfully disagree with your view. I don’t see this girl as an object of mercy at all. She’s not only guilty of dishonesty but also cruelty; she must be aware of our situation and how little we have left. Moreover, she is ungrateful to you, who have treated her with such kindness, acting more like a mother than a mistress. Rather than seeing her youth as an excuse, I think it aggravates her behavior. It's true that there are mistakes that the youth of a person often lead us to excuse. These are usually due to carelessness and a lack of thought; but crimes of this severity, committed with intent and showing a bad character, deserve harsher punishment in a young person than in someone older. What kind of mind does a person have in old age if they become so deeply corrupt at such a young age? It truly benefits society to remove such individuals; indeed, a religious person might even seek to remove them from the world for their own good because anyone who understands human nature knows that such people will only grow more wicked the longer they live.”

“Well, my dear,” cries Amelia, “I cannot argue with you on these subjects. I shall always submit to your superior judgment, and I know you too well to think that you will ever do anything cruel.”

“Well, my dear,” Amelia says, “I can’t argue with you on these topics. I will always defer to your better judgment, and I know you well enough to believe that you will never do anything unkind.”

Booth then left Amelia to take care of her children, and went in pursuit of the thief.

Booth then left Amelia to handle her kids and went after the thief.










Chapter vi. — A scene of the tragic kind.

He had not been long gone before a thundering knock was heard at the door of the house where Amelia lodged, and presently after a figure all pale, ghastly, and almost breathless, rushed into the room where she then was with her children.

He hadn't been gone long when a loud knock echoed at the door of the house where Amelia was staying, and soon after, a figure, pale, ghostly, and nearly out of breath, rushed into the room where she was with her kids.

This figure Amelia soon recognised to be Mrs. Atkinson, though indeed she was so disguised that at her first entrance Amelia scarce knew her. Her eyes were sunk in her head, her hair dishevelled, and not only her dress but every feature in her face was in the utmost disorder.

This figure Amelia quickly recognized as Mrs. Atkinson, though she was so disguised that at first glance, Amelia hardly recognized her. Her eyes were sunken, her hair a mess, and both her outfit and every feature on her face were in complete disarray.

Amelia was greatly shocked at this sight, and the little girl was much frightened; as for the boy, he immediately knew her, and, running to Amelia, he cried, “La! mamma, what is the matter with poor Mrs. Atkinson?”

Amelia was really shocked by this sight, and the little girl was really scared; as for the boy, he recognized her right away, and, running to Amelia, he exclaimed, “Oh! Mom, what's wrong with poor Mrs. Atkinson?”

As soon as Mrs. Atkinson recovered her breath she cried out, “O, Mrs. Booth! I am the most miserable of women—I have lost the best of husbands.”

As soon as Mrs. Atkinson caught her breath, she exclaimed, “Oh, Mrs. Booth! I am the most miserable woman—I have lost the best husband.”

Amelia, looking at her with all the tenderness imaginable, forgetting, I believe, that there had ever been any quarrel between them, said—“Good Heavens, madam, what’s the matter?”

Amelia, gazing at her with all the compassion she could muster, seemingly forgetting that there had ever been a disagreement between them, said—“Good heavens, ma'am, what’s wrong?”

“O, Mrs. Booth!” answered she, “I fear I have lost my husband: the doctor says there is but little hope of his life. O, madam! however I have been in the wrong, I am sure you will forgive me and pity me. I am sure I am severely punished; for to that cursed affair I owe all my misery.”

“O, Mrs. Booth!” she replied, “I fear I’ve lost my husband: the doctor says there’s very little hope for his life. O, madam! No matter how wrong I’ve been, I’m sure you will forgive and pity me. I know I’m being severely punished; for that awful situation, I owe all my misery.”

“Indeed, madam,” cries Amelia, “I am extremely concerned for your misfortune. But pray tell me, hath anything happened to the serjeant?”

“Of course, ma'am,” Amelia exclaims, “I’m really worried about what you're going through. But please, tell me, has anything happened to the sergeant?”

“O, madam!” cries she, “I have the greatest reason to fear I shall lose him. The doctor hath almost given him over—he says he hath scarce any hopes. O, madam! that evening that the fatal quarrel happened between us my dear captain took it so to heart that he sat up all night and drank a whole bottle of brandy. Indeed, he said he wished to kill himself; for nothing could have hurt him so much in the world, he said, as to have any quarrel between you and me. His concern, and what he drank together, threw him into a high fever. So that, when I came home from my lord’s—(for indeed, madam, I have been, and set all to rights—your reputation is now in no danger)—when I came home, I say, I found the poor man in a raving delirious fit, and in that he hath continued ever since till about an hour ago, when he came perfectly to his senses; but now he says he is sure he shall die, and begs for Heaven’s sake to see you first. Would you, madam, would you have the goodness to grant my poor captain’s desire? consider he is a dying man, and neither he nor I shall ever ask you a second favour. He says he hath something to say to you that he can mention to no other person, and that he cannot die in peace unless he sees you.”

“Oh, madam!” she cried, “I have every reason to fear I will lose him. The doctor has nearly given up—he says he has hardly any hope. Oh, madam! That night the terrible argument happened between us, my dear captain took it so hard that he stayed up all night and drank an entire bottle of brandy. He even said he wanted to kill himself; nothing could have hurt him more than having a quarrel between you and me. His distress, along with all that drinking, caused him to have a high fever. So, when I returned home from my lord’s—(I assure you, madam, I went and set everything right—your reputation is now safe)—when I got home, I found the poor man in a raving delirium, and he’s been like that ever since until about an hour ago when he finally came to his senses; but now he says he’s sure he’s going to die and pleads for Heaven’s sake to see you first. Would you, madam, would you be kind enough to grant my poor captain’s wish? Remember, he is a dying man, and neither he nor I will ever ask you for another favor. He says he has something to tell you that he can share with no one else, and he can’t die in peace unless he sees you.”

“Upon my word, madam,” cries Amelia, “I am extremely concerned at what you tell me. I knew the poor serjeant from his infancy, and always had an affection for him, as I think him to be one of the best-natured and honestest creatures upon earth. I am sure if I could do him any service—but of what use can my going be?”

“Honestly, ma'am,” Amelia exclaims, “I’m really worried about what you’re telling me. I’ve known the poor sergeant since he was a kid, and I’ve always had a fondness for him because I think he’s one of the kindest and most genuine people on the planet. I really wish I could help him—but what good would my visit do?”

“Of the highest in the world,” answered Mrs. Atkinson. “If you knew how earnestly he entreated it, how his poor breaking heart begged to see you, you would not refuse.”

“Of the highest in the world,” answered Mrs. Atkinson. “If you knew how desperately he pleaded for it, how his broken heart begged to see you, you wouldn’t refuse.”

“Nay, I do not absolutely refuse,” cries Amelia. “Something to say to me of consequence, and that he could not die in peace unless he said it! did he say that, Mrs. Atkinson?”

“Nah, I’m not completely refusing,” Amelia exclaims. “He had something important to tell me, and that he couldn’t die in peace until he said it! Did he really say that, Mrs. Atkinson?”

“Upon my honour he did,” answered she, “and much more than I have related.”

“Honestly, he did,” she replied, “and much more than I’ve mentioned.”

“Well, I will go with you,” cries Amelia. “I cannot guess what this should be; but I will go.”

“Well, I’ll go with you,” Amelia says. “I can’t figure out what this is all about; but I’ll go.”

Mrs. Atkinson then poured out a thousand blessings and thanksgivings; and, taking hold of Amelia’s hand, and eagerly kissing it, cried out, “How could that fury passion drive me to quarrel with such a creature?”

Mrs. Atkinson then expressed a thousand blessings and thanks; and, taking Amelia’s hand and eagerly kissing it, exclaimed, “How could that wild anger make me fight with such a lovely person?”

Amelia told her she had forgiven and forgot it; and then, calling up the mistress of the house, and committing to her the care of the children, she cloaked herself up as well as she could and set out with Mrs. Atkinson.

Amelia told her she had moved on and let it go; then, calling the lady of the house, and asking her to look after the kids, she wrapped herself up as best as she could and left with Mrs. Atkinson.

When they arrived at the house, Mrs. Atkinson said she would go first and give the captain some notice; for that, if Amelia entered the room unexpectedly, the surprize might have an ill effect. She left therefore Amelia in the parlour, and proceeded directly upstairs.

When they got to the house, Mrs. Atkinson said she would go in first to give the captain a heads-up; she thought that if Amelia walked into the room unexpectedly, it might be a shock for him. So, she left Amelia in the living room and went straight upstairs.

Poor Atkinson, weak and bad as was his condition, no sooner heard that Amelia was come than he discovered great joy in his countenance, and presently afterwards she was introduced to him.

Poor Atkinson, weak and in bad shape as he was, lit up with joy the moment he heard that Amelia had arrived, and soon after, she was introduced to him.

Atkinson exerted his utmost strength to thank her for this goodness to a dying man (for so he called himself). He said he should not have presumed to give her this trouble, had he not had something which he thought of consequence to say to her, and which he could not mention to any other person. He then desired his wife to give him a little box, of which he always kept the key himself, and afterwards begged her to leave the room for a few minutes; at which neither she nor Amelia expressed any dissatisfaction.

Atkinson used all his strength to thank her for being so kind to a dying man (as he referred to himself). He said he wouldn't have dared to trouble her if he didn't have something important to share that he couldn't tell anyone else. He then asked his wife for a small box, which he always kept the key to, and afterwards requested her to leave the room for a few minutes; neither she nor Amelia showed any signs of discontent.

When he was alone with Amelia, he spoke as follows: “This, madam, is the last time my eyes will ever behold what—do pardon me, madam, I will never offend you more.” Here he sunk down in his bed, and the tears gushed from his eyes.

When he was alone with Amelia, he said, “This, ma'am, is the last time I will ever see what—please forgive me, ma'am, I will never upset you again.” Then he sank down onto his bed, and tears streamed from his eyes.

“Why should you fear to offend me, Joe?” said Amelia. “I am sure you never did anything willingly to offend me.”

“Why should you be afraid of upsetting me, Joe?” Amelia said. “I’m sure you never intentionally did anything to hurt my feelings.”

“No, madam,” answered he, “I would die a thousand times before I would have ventured it in the smallest matter. But—I cannot speak—and yet I must. You cannot pardon me, and yet, perhaps, as I am a dying man, and never shall see you more—indeed, if I was to live after this discovery, I should never dare to look you in the face again; and yet, madam, to think I shall never see you more is worse than ten thousand deaths.”

“No, ma’am,” he replied, “I would rather die a thousand times than take that risk, even in the smallest way. But—I can’t find the words—and yet, I have to. You can’t forgive me, and still, maybe, since I’m dying and will never see you again—honestly, if I somehow survived this revelation, I could never face you again; and yet, ma’am, the thought that I’ll never see you again is worse than ten thousand deaths.”

“Indeed, Mr. Atkinson,” cries Amelia, blushing, and looking down on the floor, “I must not hear you talk in this manner. If you have anything to say, tell it me, and do not be afraid of my anger; for I think I may promise to forgive whatever it was possible you should do.”

“Seriously, Mr. Atkinson,” Amelia says, blushing and looking down at the floor, “I can’t let you talk like that. If you have something to say, just tell me, and don’t worry about me getting mad; I think I can promise to forgive whatever it is that you might have done.”

“Here then, madam,” said he, “is your picture; I stole it when I was eighteen years of age, and have kept it ever since. It is set in gold, with three little diamonds; and yet I can truly say it was not the gold nor the diamonds which I stole—it was the face, which, if I had been the emperor of the world—”

“Here you go, ma'am,” he said, “here’s your picture; I took it when I was eighteen and have kept it ever since. It's in a gold frame with three small diamonds; but honestly, it wasn't the gold or the diamonds I stole—it was the face, which, if I had been the emperor of the world—”

“I must not hear any more of this,” said she. “Comfort yourself, Joe, and think no more of this matter. Be assured, I freely and heartily forgive you—But pray compose yourself; come, let me call in your wife.”

“I don’t want to hear any more about this,” she said. “Take it easy, Joe, and try not to think about it anymore. Just know that I truly and completely forgive you—But please, calm down; come on, let me get your wife.”

“First, madam, let me beg one favour,” cried he: “consider it is the last, and then I shall die in peace—let me kiss that hand before I die.”

“First, ma'am, let me ask one favor,” he cried: “think of it as the last, and then I'll die in peace—let me kiss that hand before I die.”

“Well, nay,” says she, “I don’t know what I am doing—well—there.” She then carelessly gave him her hand, which he put gently to his lips, and then presently let it drop, and fell back in the bed.

“Well, no,” she says, “I don’t know what I’m doing—well—there.” She then casually gave him her hand, which he gently kissed, and then soon let it drop and fell back onto the bed.

Amelia now summoned Mrs. Atkinson, who was indeed no further off than just without the door. She then hastened down-stairs, and called for a great glass of water, which having drank off, she threw herself into a chair, and the tears ran plentifully from her eyes with compassion for the poor wretch she had just left in his bed.

Amelia called for Mrs. Atkinson, who was right outside the door. She quickly went downstairs and asked for a large glass of water. After downing it, she collapsed into a chair, and tears streamed down her face as she felt deep compassion for the poor soul she had just left in bed.

To say the truth, without any injury to her chastity, that heart, which had stood firm as a rock to all the attacks of title and equipage, of finery and flattery, and which all the treasures of the universe could not have purchased, was yet a little softened by the plain, honest, modest, involuntary, delicate, heroic passion of this poor and humble swain; for whom, in spite of herself, she felt a momentary tenderness and complacence, at which Booth, if he had known it, would perhaps have been displeased.

To tell the truth, without compromising her integrity, that heart, which had remained as solid as a rock against all the temptations of wealth and status, of luxury and flattery, and which nothing in the world could buy, was nonetheless slightly touched by the straightforward, sincere, humble, unintentional, yet brave affection of this poor and modest young man; for whom, despite herself, she felt a brief softness and satisfaction, which Booth, if he had known, might have found upsetting.

Having staid some time in the parlour, and not finding Mrs. Atkinson come down (for indeed her husband was then so bad she could not quit him), Amelia left a message with the maid of the house for her mistress, purporting that she should be ready to do anything in her power to serve her, and then left the house with a confusion on her mind that she had never felt before, and which any chastity that is not hewn out of marble must feel on so tender and delicate an occasion.

Having stayed for a while in the parlor, and not seeing Mrs. Atkinson come down (because her husband was so ill she couldn't leave him), Amelia left a message with the maid for her mistress, saying that she would be ready to do anything she could to help her. Then she left the house with a confusion in her mind that she had never experienced before, a feeling that anyone’s sense of modesty, unless made of stone, must feel in such a tender and delicate situation.










Chapter vii. — In which Mr. Booth meets with more than one adventure.

Booth, having hunted for about two hours, at last saw a young lady in a tattered silk gown stepping out of a shop in Monmouth—street into a hackney-coach. This lady, notwithstanding the disguise of her dress, he presently discovered to be no other than little Betty.

Booth, having hunted for about two hours, finally saw a young lady in a tattered silk gown stepping out of a shop on Monmouth Street into a cab. Despite her disguise, he quickly realized that she was none other than little Betty.

He instantly gave the alarm of stop thief, stop coach! upon which Mrs. Betty was immediately stopt in her vehicle, and Booth and his myrmidons laid hold of her.

He quickly shouted, "Stop thief! Stop the coach!" At that, Mrs. Betty was immediately halted in her vehicle, and Booth and his crew grabbed her.

The girl no sooner found that she was seised by her master than the consciousness of her guilt overpowered her; for she was not yet an experienced offender, and she immediately confessed her crime.

The girl barely realized she was caught by her master before the weight of her guilt hit her hard; she wasn't a seasoned wrongdoer yet, and she quickly admitted to her crime.

She was then carried before a justice of peace, where she was searched, and there was found in her possession four shillings and sixpence in money, besides the silk gown, which was indeed proper furniture for rag-fair, and scarce worth a single farthing, though the honest shopkeeper in Monmouth-street had sold it for a crown to the simple girl.

She was then taken before a justice of the peace, where she was searched, and it was found that she had four shillings and sixpence in cash, in addition to a silk gown, which was really only fit for a rag market and hardly worth a penny, even though the honest shopkeeper on Monmouth Street had sold it to the naive girl for a crown.

The girl, being examined by the magistrate, spoke as follows:—“Indeed, sir, an’t please your worship, I am very sorry for what I have done; and to be sure, an’t please your honour, my lord, it must have been the devil that put me upon it; for to be sure, please your majesty, I never thought upon such a thing in my whole life before, any more than I did of my dying-day; but, indeed, sir, an’t please your worship—”

The girl, being questioned by the judge, said: “Honestly, sir, if it pleases your honor, I'm really sorry for what I did; and honestly, if it pleases you, my lord, it must have been the devil that led me to it; because honestly, if it pleases your majesty, I never even thought of doing something like this in my entire life, any more than I thought about my own death; but really, sir, if it pleases your honor—”

She was running on in this manner when the justice interrupted her, and desired her to give an account of what she had taken from her master, and what she had done with it.

She was going on like this when the judge interrupted her and asked her to explain what she had taken from her boss and what she had done with it.

“Indeed, an’t please your majesty,” said she, “I took no more than two shifts of madam’s, and I pawned them for five shillings, which I gave for the gown that’s upon my back; and as for the money in my pocket, it is every farthing of it my own. I am sure I intended to carry back the shifts too as soon as ever I could get money to take them out.”

“Honestly, if it pleases your majesty,” she said, “I only took two of madam’s shifts, and I pawned them for five shillings, which I used to buy the gown I’m wearing now; and as for the money in my pocket, it’s all mine. I definitely planned to return the shifts as soon as I could gather enough money to get them back.”

The girl having told them where the pawnbroker lived, the justice sent to him, to produce the shifts, which he presently did; for he expected that a warrant to search his house would be the consequence of his refusal.

The girl told them where the pawnbroker lived, so the justice sent for him to bring the shifts, which he quickly did; he figured that refusing would lead to a warrant to search his house.

The shifts being produced, on which the honest pawnbroker had lent five shillings, appeared plainly to be worth above thirty; indeed, when new they had cost much more: so that, by their goodness as well as by their size, it was certain they could not have belonged to the girl. Booth grew very warm against the pawnbroker. “I hope, sir,” said he to the justice, “there is some punishment for this fellow likewise, who so plainly appears to have known that these goods were stolen. The shops of these fellows may indeed be called the fountains of theft; for it is in reality the encouragement which they meet with from these receivers of their goods that induces men very often to become thieves, so that these deserve equal if not severer punishment than the thieves themselves.”

The items being pawned, for which the honest pawnbroker had loaned five shillings, clearly seemed to be worth over thirty; in fact, when new, they had cost a lot more. So, due to their quality and size, it was obvious they couldn't have belonged to the girl. Booth was very upset with the pawnbroker. “I hope, sir,” he said to the justice, “that there's some punishment for this guy too, who obviously knew these goods were stolen. The shops of these people can really be called the sources of theft; because it’s the support they get from these sellers of stolen goods that often drives men to become thieves. Therefore, they deserve equal, if not harsher, punishment than the thieves themselves.”

The pawnbroker protested his innocence, and denied the taking in the shifts. Indeed, in this he spoke truth, for he had slipt into an inner room, as was always his custom on these occasions, and left a little boy to do the business; by which means he had carried on the trade of receiving stolen goods for many years with impunity, and had been twice acquitted at the Old Bailey, though the juggle appeared upon the most manifest evidence.

The pawnbroker claimed he was innocent and said he had no part in the thefts. In fact, he was telling the truth because he had slipped into a back room, which was his usual practice during these times, and left a young boy to handle the transactions. This allowed him to continue his business of accepting stolen goods for many years without consequence, and he had been found not guilty twice at the Old Bailey, even though the trickery was evident based on clear evidence.

As the justice was going to speak he was interrupted by the girl, who, falling upon her knees to Booth, with many tears begged his forgiveness.

As the judge was about to speak, the girl interrupted him, falling to her knees in front of Booth and, with many tears, begged for his forgiveness.

“Indeed, Betty,” cries Booth, “you do not deserve forgiveness; for you know very good reasons why you should not have thought of robbing your mistress, particularly at this time. And what further aggravates your crime is, that you robbed the best and kindest mistress in the world. Nay, you are not only guilty of felony, but of a felonious breach of trust, for you know very well everything your mistress had was intrusted to your care.”

“Indeed, Betty,” Booth exclaims, “you don’t deserve forgiveness; you have every reason not to have thought about stealing from your mistress, especially at this time. What makes your crime even worse is that you stole from the best and kindest mistress in the world. Not only are you guilty of theft, but you’ve also committed a serious betrayal of trust, because you know full well that everything your mistress had was entrusted to you.”

Now it happened, by very great accident, that the justice before whom the girl was brought understood the law. Turning therefore to Booth, he said, “Do you say, sir, that this girl was intrusted with the shifts?”

Now it happened, by sheer coincidence, that the judge the girl was brought before understood the law. So he turned to Booth and asked, “Do you say, sir, that this girl was entrusted with the shifts?”

“Yes, sir,” said Booth, “she was intrusted with everything.”

“Yes, sir,” Booth said, “she was trusted with everything.”

“And will you swear that the goods stolen,” said the justice, “are worth forty shillings?”

“And will you swear that the stolen goods are worth forty shillings?” said the judge.

“No, indeed, sir,” answered Booth, “nor that they are worthy thirty either.”

“No, definitely not, sir,” replied Booth, “and they aren’t even worth thirty either.”

“Then, sir,” cries the justice, “the girl cannot be guilty of felony.”

“Then, sir,” the judge exclaims, “the girl can’t be guilty of a crime.”

“How, sir,” said Booth, “is it not a breach of trust? and is not a breach of trust felony, and the worst felony too?”

“How, sir,” Booth said, “is it not a breach of trust? Isn’t a breach of trust a felony, and the worst kind of felony at that?”

“No, sir,” answered the justice; “a breach of trust is no crime in our law, unless it be in a servant; and then the act of parliament requires the goods taken to be of the value of forty shillings.”

“No, sir,” replied the justice; “a breach of trust isn’t a crime in our law, unless it involves a servant; and in that case, the law requires that the goods taken be worth at least forty shillings.”

“So then a servant,” cries Booth, “may rob his master of thirty-nine shillings whenever he pleases, and he can’t be punished.”

“So then a servant,” Booth exclaims, “can steal thirty-nine shillings from his master whenever he wants, and he won’t face any consequences.”

“If the goods are under his care, he can’t,” cries the justice.

“If the goods are under his care, he can’t,” shouts the judge.

“I ask your pardon, sir,” says Booth. “I do not doubt what you say; but sure this is a very extraordinary law.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” Booth says. “I don’t doubt what you’re saying; but this really is a very strange law.”

“Perhaps I think so too,” said the justice; “but it belongs not to my office to make or to mend laws. My business is only to execute them. If therefore the case be as you say, I must discharge the girl.”

“Maybe I think so too,” said the judge; “but it's not my job to make or change laws. My role is just to enforce them. So if the situation is as you say, I have to let the girl go.”

“I hope, however, you will punish the pawnbroker,” cries Booth.

“I hope, though, you’ll punish the pawnbroker,” Booth exclaims.

“If the girl is discharged,” cries the justice, “so must be the pawnbroker; for, if the goods are not stolen, he cannot be guilty of receiving them knowing them to be stolen. And, besides, as to his offence, to say the truth, I am almost weary of prosecuting it; for such are the difficulties laid in the way of this prosecution, that it is almost impossible to convict any one on it. And, to speak my opinion plainly, such are the laws, and such the method of proceeding, that one would almost think our laws were rather made for the protection of rogues than for the punishment of them.”

“If the girl is set free,” the judge exclaims, “then the pawnbroker must be too; because if the goods aren’t stolen, he can’t be guilty of receiving them knowing that they’re stolen. And honestly, regarding his offense, I’m nearly tired of pursuing it; the obstacles in this case make it almost impossible to convict anyone. To be clear, the laws and the way things are handled make it seem like our laws are designed more for protecting crooks than for punishing them.”

Thus ended this examination: the thief and the receiver went about their business, and Booth departed in order to go home to his wife.

Thus ended this examination: the thief and the accomplice went about their business, and Booth left to go home to his wife.

In his way home Booth was met by a lady in a chair, who, immediately upon seeing him, stopt her chair, bolted out of it, and, going directly up to him, said, “So, Mr. Booth, you have kept your word with me.”

On his way home, Booth was approached by a woman in a wheelchair, who, as soon as she saw him, stopped her chair, jumped out of it, and walked right up to him, saying, “So, Mr. Booth, you’ve kept your promise to me.”

The lady was no other than Miss Matthews, and the speech she meant was of a promise made to her at the masquerade of visiting her within a day or two; which, whether he ever intended to keep I cannot say, but, in truth, the several accidents that had since happened to him had so discomposed his mind that he had absolutely forgot it.

The lady was none other than Miss Matthews, and the promise she was referring to was made to her at the masquerade about visiting her within a day or two. I can’t say if he ever intended to follow through, but honestly, the various incidents that had happened to him since then had so unsettled him that he had completely forgotten about it.

Booth, however, was too sensible and too well-bred to make the excuse of forgetfulness to a lady; nor could he readily find any other. While he stood therefore hesitating, and looking not over-wise, Miss Matthews said, “Well, sir, since by your confusion I see you have some grace left, I will pardon you on one condition, and that is that you will sup with me this night. But, if you fail me now, expect all the revenge of an injured woman.” She then bound herself by a most outrageous oath that she would complain to his wife—“And I am sure,” says she, “she is so much a woman of honour as to do me justice. And, though I miscarried in my first attempt, be assured I will take care of my second.”

Booth, however, was too sensible and too well-mannered to use forgetfulness as an excuse with a lady; nor could he easily come up with another reason. While he stood there hesitating and looking a bit foolish, Miss Matthews said, “Well, sir, since your confusion shows you still have some decency left, I will forgive you on one condition: you will have dinner with me tonight. But if you let me down now, be prepared for the full wrath of an aggrieved woman.” She then swore an outrageous oath that she would complain to his wife—“And I’m sure,” she said, “she's honorable enough to give me justice. And even though I failed in my first attempt, you can bet I’ll make sure I succeed next time.”

Booth asked what she meant by her first attempt; to which she answered that she had already writ his wife an account of his ill-usage of her, but that she was pleased it had miscarried. She then repeated her asseveration that she would now do it effectually if he disappointed her.

Booth asked what she meant by her first attempt, and she replied that she had already written his wife about how he mistreated her, but she was glad it didn't go through. She then reaffirmed that she would definitely do it this time if he let her down.

This threat she reckoned would most certainly terrify poor Booth; and, indeed, she was not mistaken; for I believe it would have been impossible, by any other menace or by any other means, to have brought him once even to balance in his mind on this question. But by this threat she prevailed; and Booth promised, upon his word and honour, to come to her at the hour she appointed. After which she took leave of him with a squeeze by the hand, and a smiling countenance, and walked back to her chair.

This threat, she thought, would definitely frighten poor Booth; and she was right, because I believe it would have been impossible, by any other threat or by any other means, to have gotten him to even consider this issue. But with this threat, she succeeded; and Booth promised, on his word and honor, to meet her at the time she specified. After that, she said goodbye to him with a squeeze of the hand and a smile, then walked back to her chair.

But, however she might be pleased with having obtained this promise, Booth was far from being delighted with the thoughts of having given it. He looked, indeed, upon the consequences of this meeting with horrour; but as to the consequence which was so apparently intended by the lady, he resolved against it. At length he came to this determination, to go according to his appointment, to argue the matter with the lady, and to convince her, if possible, that, from a regard to his honour only, he must discontinue her acquaintance. If this failed to satisfy her, and she still persisted in her threats to acquaint his wife with the affair, he then resolved, whatever pains it cost him, to communicate the whole truth himself to Amelia, from whose goodness he doubted not but to obtain an absolute remission.

But even though she was pleased to have received this promise, Booth was far from thrilled about giving it. He actually viewed the consequences of this meeting with horror; however, he was determined to resist the result that the lady clearly intended. Finally, he decided to go through with their appointment, to discuss the matter with her, and to convince her, if possible, that out of respect for his honor, he had to end their acquaintance. If that didn't satisfy her and she kept insisting on telling his wife about the situation, he then resolved, no matter how difficult it might be, to tell Amelia the whole truth himself, from whom he was confident he would receive full forgiveness.










Chapter viii. — In which Amelia appears in a light more amiable than gay.

We will now return to Amelia, whom we left in some perturbation of mind departing from Mrs. Atkinson.

We will now go back to Amelia, who we left feeling a bit troubled as she was leaving Mrs. Atkinson's.

Though she had before walked through the streets in a very improper dress with Mrs. Atkinson, she was unwilling, especially as she was alone, to return in the same manner. Indeed, she was scarce able to walk in her present condition; for the case of poor Atkinson had much affected her tender heart, and her eyes had overflown with many tears.

Though she had previously walked through the streets in a very inappropriate outfit with Mrs. Atkinson, she was reluctant, especially since she was alone, to go back like that. In fact, she could barely walk in her current state; the situation with poor Atkinson had deeply affected her sensitive heart, and her eyes had filled with numerous tears.

It occurred likewise to her at present that she had not a single shilling in her pocket or at home to provide food for herself and her family. In this situation she resolved to go immediately to the pawnbroker whither she had gone before, and to deposit her picture for what she could raise upon it. She then immediately took a chair and put her design in execution.

It occurred to her now that she didn't have a single penny in her pocket or at home to feed herself and her family. Given this situation, she decided to go straight to the pawn shop where she had been before and put her picture up for whatever she could get for it. She then quickly took a seat and put her plan into action.

The intrinsic value of the gold in which this picture was set, and of the little diamonds which surrounded it, amounted to nine guineas. This therefore was advanced to her, and the prettiest face in the world (such is often the fate of beauty) was deposited, as of no value, into the bargain.

The actual worth of the gold that framed this picture, along with the small diamonds that adorned it, totaled nine guineas. This amount was then given to her, and the most beautiful face in the world (such is often the fate of beauty) was treated as if it were worthless in the deal.

When she came home she found the following letter from Mrs. Atkinson:—

When she got home, she found the following letter from Mrs. Atkinson:—

“MY DEAREST MADAM,—As I know your goodness, I could not delay a moment acquainting you with the happy turn of my affairs since you went. The doctor, on his return to visit my husband, has assured me that the captain was on the recovery, and in very little danger; and I really think he is since mended. I hope to wait on you soon with better news. Heaven bless you, dear madam! and believe me to be, with the utmost sincerity, Your most obliged, obedient, humble servant,

“MY DEAREST MADAM,—I know how kind you are, so I couldn’t wait to let you know the positive change in my situation since you left. The doctor, when he returned to check on my husband, assured me that the captain is recovering and is in very little danger; and I truly believe he is getting better. I hope to visit you soon with more good news. May God bless you, dear madam! and know that I am, with the utmost sincerity, Your most grateful, obedient, humble servant,

“ATKINSON.”

Amelia was really pleased with this letter; and now, it being past four o’clock, she despaired of seeing her husband till the evening. She therefore provided some tarts for her children, and then, eating nothing but a slice of bread and butter herself, she began to prepare for the captain’s supper.

Amelia was really happy with this letter; and now, since it was past four o’clock, she was worried she wouldn’t see her husband until the evening. So, she made some tarts for her kids, and after eating just a slice of bread and butter herself, she started getting ready for the captain’s supper.

There were two things of which her husband was particularly fond, which, though it may bring the simplicity of his taste into great contempt with some of my readers, I will venture to name. These were a fowl and egg sauce and mutton broth; both which Amelia immediately purchased.

There were two things that her husband really liked, which might make some of my readers look down on his simple tastes, but I’ll mention them anyway. These were chicken with egg sauce and mutton broth; both of which Amelia bought right away.

As soon as the clock struck seven the good creature went down into the kitchen, and began to exercise her talents of cookery, of which she was a great mistress, as she was of every economical office from the highest to the lowest: and, as no woman could outshine her in a drawing-room, so none could make the drawing-room itself shine brighter than Amelia. And, if I may speak a bold truth, I question whether it be possible to view this fine creature in a more amiable light than while she was dressing her husband’s supper, with her little children playing round her.

As soon as the clock hit seven, the wonderful woman went down to the kitchen and started showcasing her cooking skills, of which she was a true master, just like she was in every household task from the most important to the least. No woman could outshine her in a drawing room, and no one could make the drawing room itself sparkle more than Amelia. And, if I may be honest, I wonder if it's possible to see this amazing woman in a more charming way than when she was preparing her husband’s dinner, with her little kids playing around her.

It was now half an hour past eight, and the meat almost ready, the table likewise neatly spread with materials borrowed from her landlady, and she began to grow a little uneasy at Booth’s not returning when a sudden knock at the door roused her spirits, and she cried, “There, my dear, there is your good papa;” at which words she darted swiftly upstairs and opened the door to her husband.

It was now thirty minutes past eight, the meat was almost ready, and the table was neatly set with things borrowed from her landlady. She started to feel a bit anxious about Booth not coming back when a sudden knock at the door lifted her spirits. She exclaimed, "There, my dear, there's your wonderful dad," and with that, she quickly raced upstairs and opened the door for her husband.

She desired her husband to walk up into the dining-room, and she would come to him in an instant; for she was desirous to encrease his pleasure by surprising him with his two favourite dishes. She then went down again to the kitchen, where the maid of the house undertook to send up the supper, and she with her children returned to Booth.

She wanted her husband to go into the dining room, and she would join him in a moment; she was eager to enhance his enjoyment by surprising him with his two favorite dishes. She then went back down to the kitchen, where the maid agreed to bring up the supper, and she returned to Booth with her children.

He then told her concisely what had happened with relation to the girl—to which she scarce made any answer, but asked him if he had not dined? He assured her he had not eat a morsel the whole day.

He then briefly explained to her what had happened with the girl, to which she hardly responded and asked him if he hadn’t had dinner. He assured her he hadn’t eaten anything all day.

“Well,” says she, “my dear, I am a fellow-sufferer; but we shall both enjoy our supper the more; for I have made a little provision for you, as I guessed what might be the case. I have got you a bottle of wine too. And here is a clean cloth and a smiling countenance, my dear Will. Indeed, I am in unusual good spirits to-night, and I have made a promise to the children, which you must confirm; I have promised to let them sit up this one night to supper with us.—Nay, don’t look so serious: cast off all uneasy thoughts, I have a present for you here—no matter how I came by it.”—At which words she put eight guineas into his hand, crying, “Come, my dear Bill, be gay—Fortune will yet be kind to us—at least let us be happy this night. Indeed, the pleasures of many women during their whole lives will not amount to my happiness this night if you will be in good humour.”

“Well,” she says, “my dear, I’m in the same boat; but we’ll both enjoy our dinner even more because I have a little surprise for you, as I suspected this might happen. I’ve got you a bottle of wine too. And here’s a clean cloth and a smiling face, my dear Will. Honestly, I’m in a surprisingly good mood tonight, and I’ve made a promise to the kids that you need to back me up on; I promised to let them stay up tonight to have dinner with us. — Oh, don’t look so serious: put away all your worries, I have a present for you right here—don’t ask how I got it.” — With that, she put eight guineas into his hand, saying, “Come on, my dear Bill, let’s be cheerful—fortune will be kind to us again—at least let’s enjoy ourselves tonight. Truly, the happiness of many women over their entire lives won’t measure up to my joy tonight if you’ll just be in a good mood.”

Booth fetched a deep sigh, and cried, “How unhappy am I, my dear, that I can’t sup with you to-night!”

Booth let out a deep sigh and said, “How unhappy I am, my dear, that I can’t have dinner with you tonight!”

As in the delightful month of June, when the sky is all serene, and the whole face of nature looks with a pleasing and smiling aspect, suddenly a dark cloud spreads itself over the hemisphere, the sun vanishes from our sight, and every object is obscured by a dark and horrid gloom; so happened it to Amelia: the joy that had enlightened every feature disappeared in a moment; the lustre forsook her shining eyes, and all the little loves that played and wantoned in her cheeks hung their drooping heads, and with a faint trembling voice she repeated her husband’s words, “Not sup with me to-night, my dear!”

As in the lovely month of June, when the sky is clear and nature looks bright and cheerful, suddenly a dark cloud spreads across the horizon, the sun disappears from view, and everything is shrouded in a dark and terrible gloom; this is what happened to Amelia: the joy that had lit up her face vanished in an instant; the sparkle left her shining eyes, and all the small joys that played on her cheeks bowed their heads in despair, and with a soft, trembling voice she repeated her husband’s words, “Not having dinner with me tonight, my dear!”

“Indeed, my dear,” answered he, “I cannot. I need not tell you how uneasy it makes me, or that I am as much disappointed as yourself; but I am engaged to sup abroad. I have absolutely given my honour; and besides, it is on business of importance.”

“Of course, my dear,” he replied, “I can’t. I don’t need to explain how uncomfortable it makes me, or that I’m just as disappointed as you are; but I have plans for dinner elsewhere. I’ve truly committed myself; and besides, it’s for something important.”

“My dear,” said she, “I say no more. I am convinced you would not willingly sup from me. I own it is a very particular disappointment to me to-night, when I had proposed unusual pleasure; but the same reason which is sufficient to you ought to be so to me.”

“My dear,” she said, “I won’t say anything else. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to have dinner with me. I admit it’s a real disappointment for me tonight, especially when I was hoping for something special; but the same reason that matters to you should matter to me too.”

Booth made his wife a compliment on her ready compliance, and then asked her what she intended by giving him that money, or how she came by it?

Booth complimented his wife on how easily she went along with things, then asked her what she meant by giving him that money and where she got it from.

“I intend, my dear,” said she, “to give it you; that is all. As to the manner in which I came by it, you know, Billy, that is not very material. You are well assured I got it by no means which would displease you; and, perhaps, another time I may tell you.”

“I plan to give it to you, my dear,” she said, “that’s all. As for how I got it, you know, Billy, that’s not really important. You can be sure that I didn’t get it in any way that would upset you; and maybe next time I’ll tell you.”

Booth asked no farther questions; but he returned her, and insisted on her taking, all but one guinea, saying she was the safest treasurer. He then promised her to make all the haste home in his power, and he hoped, he said, to be with her in an hour and half at farthest, and then took his leave.

Booth didn't ask any more questions; instead, he handed her back all but one guinea, insisting that she was the most reliable treasurer. He then promised to hurry home as quickly as he could and hoped to be back within an hour and a half at the latest, before saying goodbye.

When he was gone the poor disappointed Amelia sat down to supper with her children, with whose company she was forced to console herself for the absence of her husband.

When he left, the poor disappointed Amelia sat down to dinner with her kids, finding comfort in their company to cope with her husband's absence.










Chapter ix. — A very tragic scene.

The clock had struck eleven, and Amelia was just proceeding to put her children to bed, when she heard a knock at the street-door; upon which the boy cried out, “There’s papa, mamma; pray let me stay and see him before I go to bed.” This was a favour very easily obtained; for Amelia instantly ran down-stairs, exulting in the goodness of her husband for returning so soon, though half an hour was already elapsed beyond the time in which he promised to return.

The clock had just struck eleven, and Amelia was getting her kids ready for bed when she heard a knock at the front door. The boy shouted, “It’s dad, mom; please let me stay and see him before I go to bed.” This was an easy request to grant, so Amelia quickly rushed downstairs, happy about how great her husband was for coming back so soon, even though it was already half an hour past the time he said he would be home.

Poor Amelia was now again disappointed; for it was not her husband at the door, but a servant with a letter for him, which he delivered into her hands. She immediately returned up-stairs, and said—“It was not your papa, my dear; but I hope it is one who hath brought us some good news.” For Booth had told her that he hourly expected to receive such from the great man, and had desired her to open any letter which came to him in his absence.

Poor Amelia was once again disappointed; it wasn't her husband at the door, but a servant delivering a letter for him, which he handed to her. She quickly went back upstairs and said, “It wasn't your dad, my dear; but I hope it’s someone who has brought us some good news.” Booth had told her that he was expecting to receive such news from the important man and had asked her to open any letters that came for him while he was gone.

Amelia therefore broke open the letter, and read as follows:

Amelia then opened the letter and read the following:

“SIR,—After what hath passed between us, I need only tell you that I know you supped this very night alone with Miss Matthews: a fact which will upbraid you sufficiently, without putting me to that trouble, and will very well account for my desiring the favour of seeing you to-morrow in Hyde-park at six in the morning. You will forgive me reminding you once more how inexcusable this behaviour is in you, who are possessed in your own wife of the most inestimable jewel.

“SIR,—After everything that has happened between us, I just need to let you know that I know you had dinner alone with Miss Matthews tonight: a fact that speaks for itself, without me needing to add anything, and it explains why I would like to see you tomorrow in Hyde Park at six in the morning. I hope you'll forgive me for reminding you once again how unacceptable this behavior is, especially considering you have the most priceless treasure in your own wife.”

“Yours, &c.

"Yours, etc."

“T. JAMES.

“I shall bring pistols with me.”

"I'll bring guns with me."

It is not easy to describe the agitation of Amelia’s mind when she read this letter. She threw herself into her chair, turned as pale as death, began to tremble all over, and had just power enough left to tap the bottle of wine, which she had hitherto preserved entire for her husband, and to drink off a large bumper.

It’s not easy to describe the turmoil in Amelia’s mind when she read this letter. She collapsed into her chair, turned as pale as a ghost, started trembling all over, and had just enough strength left to reach for the bottle of wine that she had saved for her husband, pouring herself a generous glass.

The little boy perceived the strange symptoms which appeared in his mother; and running to her, he cried, “What’s the matter, my dear mamma? you don’t look well!—No harm hath happened to poor papa, I hope—Sure that bad man hath not carried him away again?”

The little boy noticed the unusual signs in his mother and ran to her, crying, “What’s wrong, my dear mom? You don’t look well! I hope nothing has happened to poor dad—Surely that bad man hasn’t taken him away again?”

Amelia answered, “No, child, nothing—nothing at all.” And then a large shower of tears came to her assistance, which presently after produced the same in the eyes of both the children.

Amelia replied, “No, sweetheart, nothing—nothing at all.” Just then, a big wave of tears came to her aid, which soon had the same effect on both children, causing them to cry as well.

Amelia, after a short silence, looking tenderly at her children, cried out, “It is too much, too much to bear. Why did I bring these little wretches into the world? why were these innocents born to such a fate?” She then threw her arms round them both (for they were before embracing her knees), and cried, “O my children! my children! forgive me, my babes! Forgive me that I have brought you into such a world as this! You are undone—my children are undone!”

Amelia, after a brief silence, gazing affectionately at her kids, cried out, “It’s too much, too much to handle. Why did I bring these little ones into the world? Why were these innocent kids born to such a fate?” She then wrapped her arms around them both (since they were already hugging her knees) and sobbed, “Oh my children! My children! Forgive me, my little ones! Forgive me for bringing you into such a world as this! You are lost—my children are lost!”

The little boy answered with great spirit, “How undone, mamma? my sister and I don’t care a farthing for being undone. Don’t cry so upon our accounts—we are both very well; indeed we are. But do pray tell us. I am sure some accident hath happened to poor papa.”

The little boy replied enthusiastically, “How are we undone, Mom? My sister and I don’t care at all about being undone. Please don’t cry on our behalf—we’re both just fine; really, we are. But please, tell us what happened. I’m sure something has happened to poor Dad.”

“Mention him no more,” cries Amelia; “your papa is—indeed he is a wicked man—he cares not for any of us. O Heavens! is this the happiness I promised myself this evening?” At which words she fell into an agony, holding both her children in her arms.

“Don’t bring him up again,” Amelia exclaimed; “your dad is—he really is a terrible man—he doesn’t care about any of us. Oh my God! Is this the happiness I hoped for tonight?” With that, she collapsed in despair, holding both her children in her arms.

The maid of the house now entered the room, with a letter in her hand which she had received from a porter, whose arrival the reader will not wonder to have been unheard by Amelia in her present condition.

The housemaid came into the room, holding a letter she had gotten from a delivery person, whose arrival Amelia certainly didn’t notice in her current state.

The maid, upon her entrance into the room, perceiving the situation of Amelia, cried out, “Good Heavens! madam, what’s the matter?” Upon which Amelia, who had a little recovered herself after the last violent vent of her passion, started up and cried, “Nothing, Mrs. Susan—nothing extraordinary. I am subject to these fits sometimes; but I am very well now. Come, my dear children, I am very well again; indeed I am. You must now go to bed; Mrs. Susan will be so good as to put you to bed.”

The maid, entering the room and seeing Amelia's state, exclaimed, “Oh my gosh! Madam, what’s wrong?” Amelia, having slightly regained her composure after her last outburst, jumped up and said, “Nothing, Mrs. Susan—nothing unusual. I have these moments every now and then; but I’m fine now. Come on, my dear children, I’m all better; really, I am. You need to go to bed now; Mrs. Susan will kindly help you get to bed.”

“But why doth not papa love us?” cries the little boy. “I am sure we have none of us done anything to disoblige him.”

“But why doesn’t dad love us?” cries the little boy. “I’m sure none of us has done anything to upset him.”

This innocent question of the child so stung Amelia that she had the utmost difficulty to prevent a relapse. However, she took another dram of wine; for so it might be called to her, who was the most temperate of women, and never exceeded three glasses on any occasion. In this glass she drank her children’s health, and soon after so well soothed and composed them that they went quietly away with Mrs. Susan.

This innocent question from the child hit Amelia hard, and she had a tough time keeping herself together. However, she took another drink of wine; for her, who was the most moderate of women, it could be called that, as she never had more than three glasses at any event. In this glass, she toasted her children's health, and soon after, she calmed and settled them so well that they left quietly with Mrs. Susan.

The maid, in the shock she had conceived at the melancholy, indeed frightful scene, which had presented itself to her at her first coming into the room, had quite forgot the letter which she held in her hand. However, just at her departure she recollected it, and delivered it to Amelia, who was no sooner alone than she opened it, and read as follows:

The maid, shocked by the sad and truly terrifying scene that greeted her when she first entered the room, completely forgot about the letter she was holding. However, just as she was leaving, she remembered it and handed it to Amelia. As soon as Amelia was alone, she opened it and read the following:

“MY DEAREST, SWEETEST LOVE,—I write this from the bailiff’s house where I was formerly, and to which I am again brought at the suit of that villain Trent. I have the misfortune to think I owe this accident (I mean that it happened to-night) to my own folly in endeavouring to keep a secret from you. O my dear! had I had resolution to confess my crime to you, your forgiveness would, I am convinced, have cost me only a few blushes, and I had now been happy in your arms. Fool that I was, to leave you on such an account, and to add to a former transgression a new one!—Yet, by Heavens! I mean not a transgression of the like kind; for of that I am not nor ever will be guilty; and when you know the true reason of my leaving you to-night I think you will pity rather than upbraid me. I am sure you would if you knew the compunction with which I left you to go to the most worthless, the most infamous. Do guess the rest—guess that crime with which I cannot stain my paper—but still believe me no more guilty than I am, or, if it will lessen your vexation at what hath befallen me, believe me as guilty as you please, and think me, for a while at least, as undeserving of you as I think myself. This paper and pen are so bad, I question whether you can read what I write: I almost doubt whether I wish you should. Yet this I will endeavour to make as legible as I can. Be comforted, my dear love, and still keep up your spirits with the hopes of better days. The doctor will be in town to-morrow, and I trust on his goodness for my delivery once more from this place, and that I shall soon be able to repay him. That Heaven may bless and preserve you is the prayer of, my dearest love, Your ever fond, affectionate, and hereafter, faithful husband, W. BOOTH.”

“MY DEAREST, SWEETEST LOVE,—I’m writing this from the bailiff’s house where I was before, and I’ve been brought back here because of that scoundrel Trent. I unfortunately believe I owe this situation (I mean that it happened tonight) to my own foolishness in trying to keep a secret from you. Oh, my dear! If I had the courage to confess my mistake to you, your forgiveness would have probably only cost me a few blushes, and I would have been happy in your arms right now. How foolish I was to leave you over something like this and to add to a previous mistake!—Yet, honestly! I don't mean a mistake of that sort; I am not and never will be guilty of that. When you learn the real reason I left you tonight, I think you will feel more pity than anger towards me. I’m sure you would if you knew how regretful I was to leave you for someone so worthless and infamous. Please try to guess the rest—guess the crime that I cannot put in writing—but still believe me no more guilty than I really am, or, if it eases your frustration about what has happened to me, feel free to think of me as guilty as you wish, and consider me, at least for now, as unworthy of you as I believe I am. This paper and pen are such poor quality, I wonder if you can even read what I’m writing: I even hesitate whether I want you to. Still, I will try to make this as clear as I can. Be comforted, my dear love, and keep your spirits up with hopes of better days. The doctor will be in town tomorrow, and I trust in his kindness to help me escape this place once more, and soon I hope to repay him. May Heaven bless and keep you, is the prayer of, my dearest love, Your ever fond, affectionate, and future faithful husband, W. BOOTH.”

Amelia pretty well guessed the obscure meaning of this letter, which, though at another time it might have given her unspeakable torment, was at present rather of the medicinal kind, and served to allay her anguish. Her anger to Booth too began a little to abate, and was softened by her concern for his misfortune. Upon the whole, however, she passed a miserable and sleepless night, her gentle mind torn and distracted with various and contending passions, distressed with doubts, and wandering in a kind of twilight which presented her only objects of different degrees of horror, and where black despair closed at a small distance the gloomy prospect.

Amelia mostly figured out the unclear meaning of this letter, which, although it might have caused her unbearable pain at another time, felt more like a remedy now and helped ease her suffering. Her anger towards Booth began to fade a bit, softened by her worry for his troubles. Overall, though, she had a terrible and restless night, her gentle mind torn and distracted by mixed emotions, plagued by doubts, and lost in a kind of twilight that showed her only things that were horrifying to different extents, with dark despair looming just beyond a short distance, darkening her outlook.










BOOK XII.










Chapter i. — The book begins with polite history.

Before we return to the miserable couple, whom we left at the end of the last book, we will give our reader the more chearful view of the gay and happy family of Colonel James.

Before we go back to the unhappy couple we left at the end of the last book, let's share a more cheerful picture of the lively and happy family of Colonel James.

Mrs. James, when she could not, as we have seen, prevail with Amelia to accept that invitation which, at the desire of the colonel, she had so kindly and obediently carried her, returned to her husband and acquainted him with the ill success of her embassy; at which, to say the truth, she was almost as much disappointed as the colonel himself; for he had not taken a much stronger liking to Amelia than she herself had conceived for Booth. This will account for some passages which may have a little surprized the reader in the former chapters of this history, as we were not then at leisure to communicate to them a hint of this kind; it was, indeed, on Mr. Booth’s account that she had been at the trouble of changing her dress at the masquerade.

Mrs. James, when she was unable, as we've seen, to persuade Amelia to accept the invitation that, at the colonel's request, she had so kindly and dutifully brought to her, went back to her husband and told him about the failure of her mission; honestly, she was almost as disappointed as the colonel himself, because he hadn’t developed a significantly stronger affection for Amelia than she had for Booth. This explains some of the moments that might have surprised the reader in the earlier chapters of this story, as we weren't able to share this insight with them at that time; the truth is, it was for Mr. Booth's sake that she had gone to the trouble of changing her outfit at the masquerade.

But her passions of this sort, happily for her, were not extremely strong; she was therefore easily baulked; and, as she met with no encouragement from Booth, she soon gave way to the impetuosity of Miss Matthews, and from that time scarce thought more of the affair till her husband’s design against the wife revived her’s likewise; insomuch that her passion was at this time certainly strong enough for Booth, to produce a good hearty hatred for Amelia, whom she now abused to the colonel in very gross terms, both on the account of her poverty and her insolence, for so she termed the refusal of all her offers.

But fortunately for her, her passions weren't very intense; she was easily discouraged. Since Booth didn’t encourage her, she quickly gave in to the overwhelming influence of Miss Matthews and hardly thought about the situation again until her husband’s scheme against Amelia reignited her own feelings. At this point, her feelings for Booth had definitely grown strong enough to spark a deep hatred for Amelia, whom she now spoke about to the colonel in very harsh terms, criticizing her both for being poor and for what she called her arrogance, due to rejecting all her advancements.

The colonel, seeing no hopes of soon possessing his new mistress, began, like a prudent and wise man, to turn his thoughts towards the securing his old one. From what his wife had mentioned concerning the behaviour of the shepherdess, and particularly her preference of Booth, he had little doubt but that this was the identical Miss Matthews. He resolved therefore to watch her closely, in hopes of discovering Booth’s intrigue with her. In this, besides the remainder of affection which he yet preserved for that lady, he had another view, as it would give him a fair pretence to quarrel with Booth; who, by carrying on this intrigue, would have broke his word and honour given to him. And he began now to hate poor Booth heartily, from the same reason from which Mrs. James had contracted her aversion to Amelia.

The colonel, realizing he wouldn't soon have his new mistress, began, as any sensible man would, to focus on securing his old one. From what his wife had said about the shepherdess's behavior, especially her preference for Booth, he had no doubt that this was indeed Miss Matthews. So, he decided to keep a close eye on her, hoping to uncover Booth’s involvement with her. In addition to the lingering affection he still had for her, he had another motive: it would give him a solid reason to confront Booth, who, by pursuing this relationship, would have broken his word and honor. He now started to truly dislike poor Booth, for the same reason Mrs. James had developed her aversion to Amelia.

The colonel therefore employed an inferior kind of pimp to watch the lodgings of Miss Matthews, and to acquaint him if Booth, whose person was known to the pimp, made any visit there.

The colonel therefore hired a lower-tier pimp to keep an eye on Miss Matthews' place and to let him know if Booth, whose appearance the pimp recognized, showed up there.

The pimp faithfully performed his office, and, having last night made the wished-for discovery, immediately acquainted his master with it.

The pimp diligently did his job, and after making the desired discovery last night, he quickly informed his master about it.

Upon this news the colonel presently despatched to Booth the short note which we have before seen. He sent it to his own house instead of Miss Matthews’s, with hopes of that very accident which actually did happen. Not that he had any ingredient of the bully in him, and desired to be prevented from fighting, but with a prospect of injuring Booth in the affection and esteem of Amelia, and of recommending himself somewhat to her by appearing in the light of her champion; for which purpose he added that compliment to Amelia in his letter. He concluded upon the whole that, if Booth himself opened the letter, he would certainly meet him the next morning; but if his wife should open it before he came home it might have the effects before mentioned; and, for his future expostulation with Booth, it would not be in Amelia’s power to prevent it.

Upon hearing this news, the colonel quickly sent Booth the short note we’ve seen before. He sent it to his own house instead of Miss Matthews’s, hoping for the very scenario that actually occurred. It’s not that he was a bully or wanted to be stopped from fighting, but he aimed to hurt Booth in Amelia's eyes and make himself look good to her by stepping in as her champion; he added a compliment to Amelia in his letter for this reason. Overall, he figured that if Booth opened the letter himself, they would definitely meet the next morning; but if his wife opened it before he got home, it could have the effects mentioned earlier, and Amelia wouldn’t be able to stop him from confronting Booth later.

Now it happened that this pimp had more masters than one. Amongst these was the worthy Mr. Trent, for whom he had often done business of the pimping vocation. He had been employed indeed in the service of the great peer himself, under the direction of the said Trent, and was the very person who had assisted the said Trent in dogging Booth and his wife to the opera-house on the masquerade night.

Now, it turned out that this pimp had more than one boss. Among them was the respectable Mr. Trent, for whom he had frequently done business as a pimp. He had even been employed by the high-ranking nobleman himself, under the guidance of Mr. Trent, and was the very one who helped Mr. Trent track Booth and his wife to the opera house on the night of the masquerade.

This subaltern pimp was with his superior Trent yesterday morning, when he found a bailiff with him in order to receive his instructions for the arresting Booth, when the bailiff said it would be a very difficult matter to take him, for that to his knowledge he was as shy a cock as any in England. The subaltern immediately acquainted Trent with the business in which he was employed by the colonel; upon which Trent enjoined him the moment he had set him to give immediate notice to the bailiff, which he agreed to, and performed accordingly.

This lower-ranking pimp was with his boss Trent yesterday morning when he found a bailiff there to get instructions for arresting Booth. The bailiff mentioned that it would be quite difficult to catch him because, to his knowledge, he was as elusive as anyone in England. The subordinate quickly informed Trent about his assignment from the colonel, and Trent insisted that as soon as he had set him up, he should immediately notify the bailiff, which he agreed to and did as instructed.

The bailiff, on receiving the notice, immediately set out for his stand at an alehouse within three doors of Miss Matthews’s lodgings; at which, unfortunately for poor Booth, he arrived a very few minutes before Booth left that lady in order to return to Amelia.

The bailiff, upon receiving the notice, quickly made his way to his post at a pub just three doors down from Miss Matthews’s place; unfortunately for poor Booth, he got there just a few minutes before Booth left that lady to head back to Amelia.

These were several matters of which we thought necessary our reader should be informed; for, besides that it conduces greatly to a perfect understanding of all history, there is no exercise of the mind of a sensible reader more pleasant than the tracing the several small and almost imperceptible links in every chain of events by which all the great actions of the world are produced. We will now in the next chapter proceed with our history.

These are a few things we felt were important for our readers to know. Not only do they contribute to a better understanding of history, but there’s no exercise for a thoughtful reader’s mind more enjoyable than following the various small and nearly invisible links in the chain of events that shape the great actions of the world. We will continue our history in the next chapter.










Chapter ii. — In which Amelia visits her husband.

Amelia, after much anxious thinking, in which she sometimes flattered herself that her husband was less guilty than she had at first imagined him, and that he had some good excuse to make for himself (for, indeed, she was not so able as willing to make one for him), at length resolved to set out for the bailiff’s castle. Having therefore strictly recommended the care of her children to her good landlady, she sent for a hackney coach, and ordered the coachman to drive to Gray’s-inn-lane.

Amelia, after a lot of anxious thought, sometimes convinced herself that her husband was less at fault than she had initially believed and that he had some valid reasons for his actions (because, after all, she was more inclined to believe in his innocence than she was capable of coming up with an excuse for him), finally decided to head to the bailiff’s castle. So, she carefully entrusted the care of her children to her kind landlady, called for a cab, and instructed the driver to take her to Gray’s Inn Lane.

When she came to the house, and asked for the captain, the bailiff’s wife, who came to the door, guessing, by the greatness of her beauty and the disorder of her dress, that she was a young lady of pleasure, answered surlily, “Captain! I do not know of any captain that is here, not I!” For this good woman was, as well as dame Purgante in Prior, a bitter enemy to all whores, especially to those of the handsome kind; for some such she suspected to go shares with her in a certain property to which the law gave her the sole right.

When she arrived at the house and asked for the captain, the bailiff’s wife, who answered the door, suspected by the striking beauty and messy appearance of the visitor that she was a woman of ill repute, responded gruffly, “Captain! I don’t know of any captain around here, that’s for sure!” This woman, much like dame Purgante in Prior, had a strong dislike for all prostitutes, particularly the attractive ones; she believed that some of them might be trying to claim part of a certain property that the law said belonged solely to her.

Amelia replied she was certain that Captain Booth was there. “Well, if he is so,” cries the bailiff’s wife, “you may come into the kitchen if you will, and he shall be called down to you if you have any business with him.” At the same time she muttered something to herself, and concluded a little more intelligibly, though still in a muttering voice, that she kept no such house.

Amelia replied that she was sure Captain Booth was there. “Well, if he is,” the bailiff’s wife exclaimed, “you can come into the kitchen if you want, and I’ll call him down for you if you have business with him.” At the same time, she mumbled something to herself and added a bit more clearly, though still in a murmur, that she didn’t run any such household.

Amelia, whose innocence gave her no suspicion of the true cause of this good woman’s sullenness, was frightened, and began to fear she knew not what. At last she made a shift to totter into the kitchen, when the mistress of the house asked her, “Well, madam, who shall I tell the captain wants to speak with him?”

Amelia, who was too naive to understand the real reason behind the good woman's mood, felt scared and started to worry about things she couldn't quite grasp. Eventually, she managed to stumble into the kitchen, where the lady of the house asked her, "Well, ma'am, who should I say wants to speak to the captain?"

“I ask your pardon, madam,” cries Amelia; “in my confusion I really forgot you did not know me—tell him, if you please, that I am his wife.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” Amelia says. “In my confusion, I really forgot you didn’t know me—please tell him that I’m his wife.”

“And you are indeed his wife, madam?” cries Mrs. Bailiff, a little softened.

“And you really are his wife, ma'am?” Mrs. Bailiff exclaims, a bit less harshly.

“Yes, indeed, and upon my honour,” answers Amelia.

"Yes, definitely, and I swear," Amelia replies.

“If this be the case,” cries the other, “you may walk up-stairs if you please. Heaven forbid I should part man and wife! Indeed, I think they can never be too much together. But I never will suffer any bad doings in my house, nor any of the town ladies to come to gentlemen here.”

“If that's the case,” the other one exclaims, “feel free to go upstairs if you want. God forbid I should separate a husband and wife! Honestly, I think they should always be together. But I’ll never allow any wrongdoing in my house, nor will I let any of the town ladies come to see the gentlemen here.”

Amelia answered that she liked her the better: for, indeed, in her present disposition, Amelia was as much exasperated against wicked women as the virtuous mistress of the house, or any other virtuous woman could be.

Amelia replied that she liked her more: for, in her current mood, Amelia was just as fed up with wicked women as the virtuous woman of the house, or any other decent woman could be.

The bailiff’s wife then ushered Amelia up-stairs, and, having unlocked the prisoner’s doors, cried, “Captain, here is your lady, sir, come to see you.” At which words Booth started up from his chair, and caught Amelia in his arms, embracing her for a considerable time with so much rapture, that the bailiff’s wife, who was an eyewitness of this violent fondness, began to suspect whether Amelia had really told her truth. However, she had some little awe of the captain; and for fear of being in the wrong did not interfere, but shut the door and turned the key.

The bailiff’s wife then led Amelia upstairs and, after unlocking the prisoner’s doors, called out, “Captain, here’s your lady, sir, come to see you.” At those words, Booth jumped up from his chair and embraced Amelia for a long time with such joy that the bailiff’s wife, who was watching this intense affection, started to wonder if Amelia had really been honest. However, she felt a bit intimidated by the captain, and to avoid any conflict, she chose not to interrupt but instead shut the door and turned the key.

When Booth found himself alone with his wife, and had vented the first violence of his rapture in kisses and embraces, he looked tenderly at her and cried, “Is it possible, Amelia, is it possible you can have this goodness to follow such a wretch as me to such a place as this—or do you come to upbraid me with my guilt, and to sink me down to that perdition I so justly deserve?”

When Booth was finally alone with his wife and had expressed his overwhelming joy through kisses and hugs, he looked at her lovingly and said, “Is it really true, Amelia, is it really true that you can be so kind as to follow someone like me to a place like this—or are you here to confront me about my sins and drag me down to the damnation I rightly deserve?”

“Am I so given to upbraiding then?” says she, in a gentle voice; “have I ever given you occasion to think I would sink you to perdition?”

“Am I really that quick to criticize?” she says softly. “Have I ever given you a reason to think I would lead you to ruin?”

“Far be it from me, my love, to think so,” answered he. “And yet you may forgive the utmost fears of an offending, penitent sinner. I know, indeed, the extent of your goodness, and yet I know my guilt so great—”

“Don't think that way about me, my love,” he replied. “But you can understand the deepest fears of a guilty, remorseful sinner. I truly recognize how good you are, and yet I feel my guilt is so immense—”

“Alas! Mr. Booth,” said she, “what guilt is this which you mention, and which you writ to me of last night?—Sure, by your mentioning to me so much, you intend to tell me more—nay, indeed, to tell me all; and not leave my mind open to suspicions perhaps ten times worse than the truth.”

“Wow! Mr. Booth,” she said, “what guilt are you talking about that you wrote to me about last night?—Surely, since you’re bringing it up so much, you plan to tell me more—actually, you intend to tell me everything; so I’m not left wondering about suspicions that might be ten times worse than the truth.”

“Will you give me a patient hearing?” said he.

“Will you listen to me patiently?” he asked.

“I will indeed,” answered she, “nay, I am prepared to hear the worst you can unfold; nay, perhaps, the worst is short of my apprehensions.”

“I will definitely,” she replied, “in fact, I’m ready to hear the worst you have to say; maybe the worst is even less than what I expect.”

Booth then, after a little further apology, began and related to her the whole that had passed between him and Miss Matthews, from their first meeting in the prison to their separation the preceding evening. All which, as the reader knows it already, it would be tedious and unpardonable to transcribe from his mouth. He told her likewise all that he had done and suffered to conceal his transgression from her knowledge. This he assured her was the business of his visit last night, the consequence of which was, he declared in the most solemn manner, no other than an absolute quarrel with Miss Matthews, of whom he had taken a final leave.

Booth then, after a bit more apologizing, began to tell her everything that had happened between him and Miss Matthews, from their first meeting in the prison to their separation the night before. Since the reader already knows all of this, it would be tedious and unacceptable to repeat it. He also shared everything he had done and endured to keep his wrongdoing from her knowledge. He assured her that this was the reason for his visit last night, which, he stated very seriously, resulted in nothing less than a complete falling out with Miss Matthews, from whom he had taken a final farewell.

When he had ended his narration, Amelia, after a short silence, answered, “Indeed, I firmly believe every word you have said, but I cannot now forgive you the fault you have confessed; and my reason is—because I have forgiven it long ago. Here, my dear,” said she, “is an instance that I am likewise capable of keeping a secret.”—She then delivered her husband a letter which she had some time ago received from Miss Matthews, and which was the same which that lady had mentioned, and supposed, as Booth had never heard of it, that it had miscarried; for she sent it by the penny post. In this letter, which was signed by a feigned name, she had acquainted Amelia with the infidelity of her husband, and had besides very greatly abused him; taxing him with many falsehoods, and, among the rest, with having spoken very slightingly and disrespectfully of his wife.

When he finished telling his story, Amelia, after a brief silence, replied, “I truly believe every word you’ve said, but I can’t forgive you for the mistake you admitted; and my reason is—because I forgave it a long time ago. Here, my dear,” she said, “is proof that I can also keep a secret.” She then handed her husband a letter she had received some time ago from Miss Matthews, the same one that lady had mentioned, which Booth hadn’t heard about and thought it must have gotten lost since she sent it via the penny post. In this letter, signed with a fake name, she informed Amelia of her husband’s infidelity and also severely criticized him, accusing him of many lies, including of having spoken very disrespectfully about his wife.

Amelia never shined forth to Booth in so amiable and great a light; nor did his own unworthiness ever appear to him so mean and contemptible as at this instant. However, when he had read the letter, he uttered many violent protestations to her, that all which related to herself was absolutely false.

Amelia had never appeared to Booth in such a friendly and impressive way; nor had his own flaws ever seemed so low and shameful to him as they did right now. However, after he read the letter, he made many strong declarations to her, insisting that everything concerning her was completely untrue.

“I am convinced it is,” said she. “I would not have a suspicion of the contrary for the world. I assure you I had, till last night revived it in my memory, almost forgot the letter; for, as I well knew from whom it came, by her mentioning obligations which she had conferred on you, and which you had more than once spoken to me of, I made large allowances for the situation you was then in; and I was the more satisfied, as the letter itself, as well as many other circumstances, convinced me the affair was at an end.”

“I’m sure it is,” she said. “I wouldn’t doubt it for anything in the world. I promise you, I had almost forgotten about the letter until it came back to my mind last night; since I knew exactly who it was from, given her mentioning the favors she had done for you, which you had talked to me about more than once, I was very understanding of the situation you were in at the time. And I felt even more assured, since the letter itself, along with many other things, convinced me that the matter was finished.”

Booth now uttered the most extravagant expressions of admiration and fondness that his heart could dictate, and accompanied them with the warmest embraces. All which warmth and tenderness she returned; and tears of love and joy gushed from both their eyes. So ravished indeed were their hearts, that for some time they both forgot the dreadful situation of their affairs.

Booth now expressed the most over-the-top feelings of admiration and affection that he could think of, while giving her the warmest hugs. She returned all that warmth and tenderness, and tears of love and joy flowed from both their eyes. They were so caught up in their emotions that for a while they completely forgot about the terrible situation they were in.

This, however, was but a short reverie. It soon recurred to Amelia, that, though she had the liberty of leaving that house when she pleased, she could not take her beloved husband with her. This thought stung her tender bosom to the quick, and she could not so far command herself as to refrain from many sorrowful exclamations against the hardship of their destiny; but when she saw the effect they had upon Booth she stifled her rising grief, forced a little chearfulness into her countenance, and, exerting all the spirits she could raise within herself, expressed her hopes of seeing a speedy end to their sufferings. She then asked her husband what she should do for him, and to whom she should apply for his deliverance?

This was only a brief moment of reflection. Amelia quickly realized that, even though she could leave that house whenever she wanted, she couldn't take her beloved husband with her. This thought deeply upset her, and she couldn’t stop herself from expressing many sorrowful complaints about their unfortunate situation. But when she saw how her words affected Booth, she suppressed her rising sadness, forced a little cheerfulness onto her face, and gathered all the strength she could find within herself to share her hopes of seeing an end to their suffering soon. She then asked her husband what she could do for him and to whom she should turn to for his release.

“You know, my dear,” cries Booth, “that the doctor is to be in town some time to-day. My hopes of immediate redemption are only in him; and, if that can be obtained, I make no doubt but of the success of that affair which is in the hands of a gentleman who hath faithfully promised, and in whose power I am so well assured it is to serve me.”

“You know, my dear,” Booth exclaims, “that the doctor is coming to town sometime today. My hopes for a quick resolution rest solely on him; and if that happens, I’m confident in the success of the matter that’s in the hands of a gentleman who has faithfully promised to help me, and I am quite sure he has the ability to do so.”

Thus did this poor man support his hopes by a dependence on that ticket which he had so dearly purchased of one who pretended to manage the wheels in the great state lottery of preferment. A lottery, indeed, which hath this to recommend it—that many poor wretches feed their imaginations with the prospect of a prize during their whole lives, and never discover they have drawn a blank.

Thus, this poor man kept his hopes alive by relying on that ticket he had bought at such a high price from someone who claimed to control the workings of the big state lottery of opportunities. A lottery, indeed, that has this going for it—that many unfortunate souls spend their entire lives dreaming of a prize and never realize they’ve drawn a blank.

Amelia, who was of a pretty sanguine temper, and was entirely ignorant of these matters, was full as easy to be deceived into hopes as her husband; but in reality at present she turned her eyes to no distant prospect, the desire of regaining her husband’s liberty having engrossed her whole mind.

Amelia, who had a naturally hopeful disposition and wasn't aware of these issues, was just as easily swayed by false hopes as her husband; however, at the moment, she wasn't focused on any distant future. Her entire mind was consumed by the desire to get her husband back.

While they were discoursing on these matters they heard a violent noise in the house, and immediately after several persons passed by their door up-stairs to the apartment over their head. This greatly terrified the gentle spirit of Amelia, and she cried—“Good Heavens, my dear, must I leave you in this horrid place? I am terrified with a thousand fears concerning you.”

While they were talking about these things, they suddenly heard a loud noise in the house, and right after that, several people walked by their door upstairs to the room above them. This really scared Amelia, and she exclaimed, “Oh my God, my dear, do I have to leave you in this awful place? I'm filled with a thousand worries about you.”

Booth endeavoured to comfort her, saying that he was in no manner of danger, and that he doubted not but that the doctor would soon be with him—“And stay, my dear,” cries he; “now I recollect, suppose you should apply to my old friend James; for I believe you are pretty well satisfied that your apprehensions of him were groundless. I have no reason to think but that he would be as ready to serve me as formerly.”

Booth tried to reassure her, saying that he was in no danger, and he was confident that the doctor would be with him soon. "And wait, my dear," he said, "now that I think about it, why don't you reach out to my old friend James? I believe you're quite convinced that your fears about him were unfounded. I have no reason to think he wouldn't be just as eager to help me as he was before."

Amelia turned pale as ashes at the name of James, and, instead of making a direct answer to her husband, she laid hold of him, and cried, “My dear, I have one favour to beg of you, and I insist on your granting it me.”

Amelia went pale as ashes at the mention of James, and instead of responding directly to her husband, she grabbed him and said, “My dear, I have one favor to ask of you, and I insist that you grant it.”

Booth readily swore he would deny her nothing.

Booth quickly promised that he wouldn't deny her anything.

“It is only this, my dear,” said she, “that, if that detested colonel comes, you will not see him. Let the people of the house tell him you are not here.”

“It’s just this, my dear,” she said, “that if that awful colonel comes, you won’t see him. Have the people in the house tell him you aren’t here.”

“He knows nothing of my being here,” answered Booth; “but why should I refuse to see him if he should be kind enough to come hither to me? Indeed, my Amelia, you have taken a dislike to that man without sufficient reason.”

“He knows nothing about my being here,” Booth replied. “But why should I refuse to see him if he’s kind enough to come to me? Honestly, my Amelia, you’ve taken a dislike to that man without enough reason.”

“I speak not upon that account,” cries Amelia; “but I have had dreams last night about you two. Perhaps you will laugh at my folly, but pray indulge it. Nay, I insist on your promise of not denying me.”

“I’m not saying that because of that,” Amelia says. “But I had dreams about you two last night. Maybe you’ll laugh at my foolishness, but please indulge me. No, I insist that you promise not to deny me.”

“Dreams! my dear creature,” answered he. “What dream can you have had of us?”

“Dreams! My dear creature,” he replied. “What dream could you have had about us?”

“One too horrible to be mentioned,” replied she.—“I cannot think of it without horrour; and, unless you will promise me not to see the colonel till I return, I positively will never leave you.”

“One that’s too terrible to talk about,” she replied. “I can’t think about it without feeling scared, and unless you promise me not to see the colonel until I get back, I absolutely won’t leave you.”

“Indeed, my Amelia,” said Booth, “I never knew you unreasonable before. How can a woman of your sense talk of dreams?”

“Honestly, my Amelia,” Booth said, “I’ve never seen you act this way before. How can someone as sensible as you talk about dreams?”

“Suffer me to be once at least unreasonable,” said Amelia, “as you are so good-natured to say I am not often so. Consider what I have lately suffered, and how weak my spirits must be at this time.”

“Suffer me to be once at least unreasonable,” said Amelia, “since you’re kind enough to say I’m not often like this. Think about what I’ve been through lately and how fragile my spirits must be right now.”

As Booth was going to speak, the bailiff, without any ceremony, entered the room, and cried, “No offence, I hope, madam; my wife, it seems, did not know you. She thought the captain had a mind for a bit of flesh by the bye. But I have quieted all matters; for I know you very well: I have seen that handsome face many a time when I have been waiting upon the captain formerly. No offence, I hope, madam; but if my wife was as handsome as you are I should not look for worse goods abroad.”

As Booth was about to speak, the bailiff entered the room without any hesitation and said, “I hope there’s no offense, ma’am; it seems my wife didn’t recognize you. She thought the captain might be interested in some company, by the way. But I’ve settled everything; I know you very well: I’ve seen that pretty face many times when I was serving the captain before. No offense meant, ma’am; but if my wife were as pretty as you, I wouldn’t be looking for anything better elsewhere.”

Booth conceived some displeasure at this speech, but he did not think proper to express more than a pish; and then asked the bailiff what was the meaning of the noise they heard just now?

Booth felt some annoyance at this speech, but he thought it best not to say much more than a dismissive "pish"; then he asked the bailiff what the noise they just heard was about.

“I know of no noise,” answered the bailiff. “Some of my men have been carrying a piece of bad luggage up-stairs; a poor rascal that resisted the law and justice; so I gave him a cut or two with a hanger. If they should prove mortal, he must thank himself for it. If a man will not behave like a gentleman to an officer, he must take the consequence; but I must say that for you, captain, you behave yourself like a gentleman, and therefore I shall always use you as such; and I hope you will find bail soon with all my heart. This is but a paultry sum to what the last was; and I do assure you there is nothing else against you in the office.”

“I don’t know about any noise,” the bailiff replied. “Some of my guys have been hauling a troublesome character upstairs; a poor guy who fought against the law and justice, so I gave him a few cuts with my sword. If those turn out to be fatal, he has only himself to blame. If a man won’t act like a gentleman towards an officer, he has to face the consequences; but I have to say, Captain, you conduct yourself like a gentleman, and because of that, I’ll always treat you as one; and I truly hope you find bail soon. This amount is nothing compared to what you had last time; and I assure you, there’s nothing else against you in the office.”

The latter part of the bailiff’s speech somewhat comforted Amelia, who had been a little frightened by the former; and she soon after took leave of her husband to go in quest of the doctor, who, as Amelia had heard that morning, was expected in town that very day, which was somewhat sooner than he had intended at his departure.

The latter part of the bailiff's speech somewhat reassured Amelia, who had been a bit scared by the earlier part; soon after, she said goodbye to her husband to look for the doctor, who, as Amelia had heard that morning, was expected in town that very day, which was a little sooner than he had planned when he left.

Before she went, however, she left a strict charge with the bailiff, who ushered her very civilly downstairs, that if one Colonel James came there to enquire for her husband he should deny that he was there.

Before she left, though, she gave a strict instruction to the bailiff, who politely escorted her downstairs, that if a Colonel James came by looking for her husband, he should deny that he was there.

She then departed; and the bailiff immediately gave a very strict charge to his wife, his maid, and his followers, that if one Colonel James, or any one from him, should enquire after the captain, that they should let him know he had the captain above-stairs; for he doubted not but that the colonel was one of Booth’s creditors, and he hoped for a second bail-bond by his means.

She then left; and the bailiff immediately gave a strict instruction to his wife, his maid, and his underlings, that if Colonel James, or anyone acting on his behalf, asked about the captain, they should inform him that the captain was upstairs. He suspected that the colonel was one of Booth’s creditors, and he was hoping for a second bail bond through him.










Chapter iii. — Containing matter pertinent to the history.

Amelia, in her way to the doctor’s, determined just to stop at her own lodgings, which lay a little out of the road, and to pay a momentary visit to her children.

Amelia, on her way to the doctor’s, decided to stop at her place, which was a bit off the main road, to quickly check in on her kids.

This was fortunate enough; for, had she called at the doctor’s house, she would have heard nothing of him, which would have caused in her some alarm and disappointment; for the doctor was set down at Mrs. Atkinson’s, where he was directed to Amelia’s lodgings, to which he went before he called at his own; and here Amelia now found him playing with her two children.

This turned out to be lucky because if she had stopped by the doctor's house, she wouldn't have learned anything about him, which would have made her worried and disappointed. The doctor was actually at Mrs. Atkinson's, where he was told to go to Amelia's place first before heading to his own. And now, Amelia found him playing with her two kids.

The doctor had been a little surprized at not finding Amelia at home, or any one that could give an account of her. He was now more surprized to see her come in such a dress, and at the disorder which he very plainly perceived in her pale and melancholy countenance. He addressed her first (for indeed she was in no great haste to speak), and cried, “My dear child, what is the matter? where is your husband? some mischief I am afraid hath happened to him in my absence.”

The doctor was a bit surprised not to find Amelia at home or anyone who could tell him where she was. He was even more surprised to see her come in looking so disheveled, and he could clearly see the distress on her pale and sad face. He spoke to her first (since she wasn't in much of a hurry to say anything) and exclaimed, “My dear child, what’s wrong? Where’s your husband? I’m afraid something bad has happened to him while I was away.”

“O my dear doctor!” answered Amelia, “sure some good angel hath sent you hither. My poor Will is arrested again. I left him in the most miserable condition in the very house whence your goodness formerly redeemed him.”

“O my dear doctor!” replied Amelia, “surely some good angel has sent you here. My poor Will has been arrested again. I left him in the most miserable condition in the very house where your kindness previously rescued him.”

“Arrested!” cries the doctor. “Then it must be for some very inconsiderable trifle.”

“Arrested!” shouts the doctor. “Then it must be for some minor issue.”

“I wish it was,” said Amelia; “but it is for no less than fifty pound.”

“I wish it were,” said Amelia; “but it’s for no less than fifty pounds.”

“Then,” cries the doctor, “he hath been disingenuous with me. He told me he did not owe ten pounds in the world for which he was liable to be sued.”

“Then,” shouts the doctor, “he has been dishonest with me. He said he didn’t owe a single penny that could get him sued.”

“I know not what to say,” cries Amelia. “Indeed, I am afraid to tell you the truth.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Amelia exclaims. “Honestly, I’m scared to tell you the truth.”

“How, child?” said the doctor—“I hope you will never disguise it to any one, especially to me. Any prevarication, I promise you, will forfeit my friendship for ever.”

“How, kid?” said the doctor. “I hope you never hide it from anyone, especially not from me. Any fib, I promise you, will cost you my friendship for good.”

“I will tell you the whole,” cries Amelia, “and rely entirely on your goodness.” She then related the gaming story, not forgetting to set in the fullest light, and to lay the strongest emphasis on, his promise never to play again.

“I’ll tell you everything,” Amelia exclaims, “and I’m counting entirely on your kindness.” She then shared the story about the gambling, making sure to highlight it as much as possible and to stress his promise never to play again.

The doctor fetched a deep sigh when he had heard Amelia’s relation, and cried, “I am sorry, child, for the share you are to partake in your husband’s sufferings; but as for him, I really think he deserves no compassion. You say he hath promised never to play again, but I must tell you he hath broke his promise to me already; for I had heard he was formerly addicted to this vice, and had given him sufficient caution against it. You will consider, child, I am already pretty largely engaged for him, every farthing of which I am sensible I must pay. You know I would go to the utmost verge of prudence to serve you; but I must not exceed my ability, which is not very great; and I have several families on my hands who are by misfortune alone brought to want. I do assure you I cannot at present answer for such a sum as this without distressing my own circumstances.”

The doctor let out a deep sigh after hearing Amelia's story and said, “I'm sorry, child, for the burden you're going to bear from your husband's troubles; but as for him, I really don't think he deserves any sympathy. You mentioned that he promised never to gamble again, but I have to tell you that he has already broken that promise to me; I heard he was previously addicted to this habit, and I had warned him enough about it. Please understand, child, I’m already pretty heavily invested in his situation, every penny of which I know I’ll have to cover. You know I would go to great lengths to help you, but I can't stretch beyond my means, which aren’t very large; and I have several families relying on me who have fallen into need through misfortune alone. I assure you I can't right now provide such a large amount without putting my own situation in jeopardy.”

“Then Heaven have mercy upon us all!” cries Amelia, “for we have no other friend on earth: my husband is undone, and these poor little wretches must be starved.”

“Then heaven have mercy on us all!” Amelia cries, “for we have no other friend on earth: my husband is ruined, and these poor little ones are going to starve.”

The doctor cast his eyes on the children, and then cried, “I hope not so. I told you I must distress my circumstances, and I will distress them this once on your account, and on the account of these poor little babes. But things must not go on any longer in this way. You must take an heroic resolution. I will hire a coach for you to-morrow morning which shall carry you all down to my parsonage-house. There you shall have my protection till something can be done for your husband; of which, to be plain with you, I at present see no likelihood.”

The doctor looked at the children and then said, “I hope not. I told you I have to think about my situation, and I’ll make sacrifices this one time for you and these poor little kids. But we can’t keep going on like this. You need to make a bold decision. I’ll arrange a coach for you tomorrow morning that will take you all to my parsonage. There, you’ll have my protection until we can figure something out for your husband, which, to be honest, I currently don’t see much chance of.”

Amelia fell upon her knees in an ecstasy of thanksgiving to the doctor, who immediately raised her up, and placed her in her chair. She then recollected herself, and said, “O my worthy friend, I have still another matter to mention to you, in which I must have both your advice and assistance. My soul blushes to give you all this trouble; but what other friend have I?—indeed, what other friend could I apply to so properly on such an occasion?”

Amelia dropped to her knees in a burst of gratitude to the doctor, who quickly helped her up and sat her back in her chair. She then gathered her thoughts and said, “Oh my dear friend, there's one more thing I need to discuss with you, where I truly need your advice and help. It makes me blush to bring you more trouble; but who else do I have?—really, who else could I turn to for proper help on such a matter?”

The doctor, with a very kind voice and countenance, desired her to speak. She then said, “O sir! that wicked colonel whom I have mentioned to you formerly hath picked some quarrel with my husband (for she did not think proper to mention the cause), and hath sent him a challenge. It came to my hand last night after he was arrested: I opened and read it.”

The doctor, with a very kind voice and demeanor, asked her to speak. She then said, “Oh sir! That wicked colonel I told you about before has started some trouble with my husband (she didn’t think it was right to mention the reason), and has sent him a challenge. I received it last night after he was arrested: I opened it and read it.”

“Give it me, child,” said the doctor.

“Give it to me, kid,” said the doctor.

She answered she had burnt it, as was indeed true. “But I remember it was an appointment to meet with sword and pistol this morning at Hyde-park.”

She replied that she had burned it, which was true. “But I remember it was a meeting to fight with swords and pistols this morning at Hyde Park.”

“Make yourself easy, my dear child,” cries the doctor; “I will take care to prevent any mischief.”

“Relax, my dear child,” the doctor exclaims, “I’ll make sure nothing goes wrong.”

“But consider, my dear sir,” said she, “this is a tender matter. My husband’s honour is to be preserved as well as his life.”

“But think about it, my dear sir,” she said, “this is a sensitive issue. My husband’s honor needs to be protected just like his life.”

“And so is his soul, which ought to be the dearest of all things,” cries the doctor. “Honour! nonsense! Can honour dictate to him to disobey the express commands of his Maker, in compliance with a custom established by a set of blockheads, founded on false principles of virtue, in direct opposition to the plain and positive precepts of religion, and tending manifestly to give a sanction to ruffians, and to protect them in all the ways of impudence and villany?”

“And so is his soul, which should be the most precious of all things,” shouts the doctor. “Honor! Nonsense! Can honor really push him to ignore the direct orders of his Creator, just to follow a tradition set by a group of fools, based on misguided ideas of virtue, that goes completely against the clear and firm teachings of religion, and clearly serves to support thugs, protecting them in their acts of shamelessness and wickedness?”

“All this, I believe, is very true,” cries Amelia; “but yet you know, doctor, the opinion of the world.”

“All of this, I believe, is very true,” Amelia exclaims; “but you know, doctor, what people think.”

“You talk simply, child,” cries the doctor. “What is the opinion of the world opposed to religion and virtue? but you are in the wrong. It is not the opinion of the world; it is the opinion of the idle, ignorant, and profligate. It is impossible it should be the opinion of one man of sense, who is in earnest in his belief of our religion. Chiefly, indeed, it hath been upheld by the nonsense of women, who, either from their extreme cowardice and desire of protection, or, as Mr. Bayle thinks, from their excessive vanity, have been always forward to countenance a set of hectors and bravoes, and to despise all men of modesty and sobriety; though these are often, at the bottom, not only the better but the braver men.”

“You speak quite simply, child,” the doctor exclaims. “What does the world think about religion and virtue? But you’re mistaken. It’s not the opinion of the world; it’s the opinion of the lazy, ignorant, and immoral. No sensible person who truly believes in our religion would think that way. In fact, it has mostly been supported by the nonsense of women, who, either due to their extreme fear and need for protection, or, as Mr. Bayle suggests, because of their excessive vanity, have always been eager to support a group of bullies and tough guys, while looking down on men of modesty and sobriety; although these men are often, at heart, not only better but braver.”

“You know, doctor,” cries Amelia, “I have never presumed to argue with you; your opinion is to me always instruction, and your word a law.”

“You know, doctor,” Amelia exclaims, “I’ve never dared to argue with you; your opinion is always a lesson to me, and your word is a rule.”

“Indeed, child,” cries the doctor, “I know you are a good woman; and yet I must observe to you, that this very desire of feeding the passion of female vanity with the heroism of her man, old Homer seems to make the characteristic of a bad and loose woman. He introduces Helen upbraiding her gallant with having quitted the fight, and left the victory to Menelaus, and seeming to be sorry that she had left her husband only because he was the better duellist of the two: but in how different a light doth he represent the tender and chaste love of Andromache to her worthy Hector! she dissuades him from exposing himself to danger, even in a just cause. This is indeed a weakness, but it is an amiable one, and becoming the true feminine character; but a woman who, out of heroic vanity (for so it is), would hazard not only the life but the soul too of her husband in a duel, is a monster, and ought to be painted in no other character but that of a Fury.”

“Really, child,” the doctor exclaims, “I know you’re a good woman; however, I have to point out that this very desire to fuel a woman’s vanity with her man’s heroism, old Homer seems to suggest, is characteristic of a bad and loose woman. He shows Helen scolding her lover for abandoning the fight and leaving the victory to Menelaus, and she seems to regret leaving her husband only because he was the better fighter. But how differently does he portray the tender and pure love of Andromache for her noble Hector! She tries to stop him from putting himself in danger, even for a just cause. This is indeed a weakness, but it’s an endearing one, fitting for the true feminine nature. However, a woman who, out of heroic vanity (as it is), would risk not only her husband's life but also his soul in a duel is a monster and should only be depicted as a Fury.”

“I assure you, doctor,” cries Amelia, “I never saw this matter in the odious light in which you have truly represented it, before. I am ashamed to recollect what I have formerly said on this subject. And yet, whilst the opinion of the world is as it is, one would wish to comply as far as possible, especially as my husband is an officer of the army. If it can be done, therefore, with safety to his honour—”

“I promise you, doctor,” Amelia exclaims, “I’ve never seen this issue in the terrible way you’ve described it before. I’m embarrassed to remember what I’ve said about this in the past. And yet, considering the way society views things, I’d want to go along with it as much as I can, especially since my husband is a military officer. If it can be done without risking his honor—”

“Again honour!” cries the doctor; “indeed I will not suffer that noble word to be so basely and barbarously prostituted. I have known some of these men of honour, as they call themselves, to be the most arrant rascals in the universe.”

“Once again, honor!” the doctor exclaims; “I absolutely will not allow that noble word to be so shamelessly and crudely misused. I have known some of these men of honor, as they call themselves, to be the most despicable scoundrels in existence.”

“Well, I ask your pardon,” said she; “reputation then, if you please, or any other word you like better; you know my meaning very well.”

“Well, I ask for your forgiveness,” she said; “reputation then, if you prefer, or any other word you like better; you know what I mean very well.”

“I do know your meaning,” cries the doctor, “and Virgil knew it a great while ago. The next time you see your friend Mrs. Atkinson, ask her what it was made Dido fall in love with AEneas?”

“I know what you mean,” the doctor shouts, “and Virgil figured it out a long time ago. The next time you see your friend Mrs. Atkinson, ask her what made Dido fall in love with Aeneas?”

“Nay, dear sir,” said Amelia, “do not rally me so unmercifully; think where my poor husband is now.”

“Nah, dear sir,” said Amelia, “don’t tease me so mercilessly; think about where my poor husband is right now.”

“He is,” answered the doctor, “where I will presently be with him. In the mean time, do you pack up everything in order for your journey to-morrow; for if you are wise, you will not trust your husband a day longer in this town—therefore to packing.”

“He is,” said the doctor, “where I’ll be soon. In the meantime, get everything ready for your trip tomorrow; if you're smart, you won’t leave your husband in this town for another day—so let’s get packing.”

Amelia promised she would, though indeed she wanted not any warning for her journey on this account; for when she packed up herself in the coach, she packed up her all. However, she did not think proper to mention this to the doctor; for, as he was now in pretty good humour, she did not care to venture again discomposing his temper.

Amelia promised she would, although she really didn’t want any warning for her trip because when she got into the coach, she was taking everything with her. However, she thought it best not to mention this to the doctor; since he was in a good mood, she didn’t want to risk upsetting him again.

The doctor then set out for Gray’s-inn-lane, and, as soon as he was gone, Amelia began to consider of her incapacity to take a journey in her present situation without even a clean shift. At last she resolved, as she was possessed of seven guineas and a half, to go to her friend and redeem some of her own and her husband’s linen out of captivity; indeed just so much as would render it barely possible for them to go out of town with any kind of decency. And this resolution she immediately executed.

The doctor then headed to Gray’s Inn Lane, and as soon as he left, Amelia started to think about how she couldn't travel in her current state without even a fresh change of clothes. Finally, she decided that since she had seven and a half guineas, she would visit her friend and reclaim some of her and her husband’s linens from being held. In fact, just enough to allow them to leave town with some semblance of decency. She immediately set this plan into action.

As soon as she had finished her business with the pawnbroker (if a man who lends under thirty per cent. deserves that name), he said to her, “Pray, madam, did you know that man who was here yesterday when you brought the picture?” Amelia answered in the negative. “Indeed, madam,” said the broker, “he knows you, though he did not recollect you while you was here, as your hood was drawn over your face; but the moment you was gone he begged to look at the picture, which I, thinking no harm, permitted. He had scarce looked upon it when he cried out, ‘By heaven and earth it is her picture!’ He then asked me if I knew you.” “Indeed,” says I, “I never saw the lady before.”

As soon as she finished her business with the pawnbroker (if a man who lends under thirty percent deserves that title), he said to her, “Excuse me, ma'am, did you know the man who was here yesterday when you brought in the picture?” Amelia replied no. “Well, ma'am,” said the broker, “he knows you, although he didn’t recognize you while you were here since your hood was pulled down over your face; but as soon as you left, he asked to see the picture, which I, thinking it was harmless, allowed. He had barely looked at it when he exclaimed, ‘By heaven and earth, it’s her picture!’ He then asked me if I knew you.” “Actually,” I said, “I’ve never seen the lady before.”

In this last particular, however, the pawnbroker a little savoured of his profession, and made a small deviation from the truth, for, when the man had asked him if he knew the lady, he answered she was some poor undone woman who had pawned all her cloathes to him the day before; and I suppose, says he, this picture is the last of her goods and chattels. This hint we thought proper to give the reader, as it may chance to be material.

In this last detail, though, the pawnbroker showed a bit of his profession and stretched the truth a little. When the man asked him if he knew the lady, he replied that she was just some unfortunate woman who had pawned all her clothes to him the day before; and I guess, he said, this picture is the last of her belongings. We thought it was important to share this with the reader, as it might be significant.

Amelia answered coldly that she had taken so very little notice of the man that she scarce remembered he was there.

Amelia replied coldly that she had paid so little attention to the man that she hardly remembered he was there.

“I assure you, madam,” says the pawnbroker, “he hath taken very great notice of you; for the man changed countenance upon what I said, and presently after begged me to give him a dram. Oho! thinks I to myself, are you thereabouts? I would not be so much in love with some folks as some people are for more interest than I shall ever make of a thousand pound.”

“I assure you, ma’am,” says the pawnbroker, “he’s shown a lot of interest in you; the guy changed his expression when I mentioned you, and soon after asked me to get him a drink. Oho! I thought to myself, are you into her? I’d never be so in love with anyone as some people are for much less than I could ever gain from a thousand pounds.”

Amelia blushed, and said, with some peevishness, “That she knew nothing of the man, but supposed he was some impertinent fellow or other.”

Amelia flushed and said, with a hint of annoyance, “I don’t know anything about that guy, but I assume he’s just some rude jerk or something.”

“Nay, madam,” answered the pawnbroker, “I assure you he is not worthy your regard. He is a poor wretch, and I believe I am possessed of most of his moveables. However, I hope you are not offended, for indeed he said no harm; but he was very strangely disordered, that is the truth of it.”

“Nah, ma'am,” replied the pawnbroker, “I promise you he’s not worth your attention. He’s a miserable guy, and I think I have most of his belongings. But I hope you’re not upset; he really didn’t mean any harm, but he was pretty out of sorts, that’s the truth.”

Amelia was very desirous of putting an end to this conversation, and altogether as eager to return to her children; she therefore bundled up her things as fast as she could, and, calling for a hackney-coach, directed the coachman to her lodgings, and bid him drive her home with all the haste he could.

Amelia really wanted to end this conversation and was just as eager to get back to her kids. So, she quickly gathered her things, called for a taxi, told the driver to take her to her place, and asked him to hurry up.










Chapter iv. — In which Dr Harrison visits Colonel James.

The doctor, when he left Amelia, intended to go directly to Booth, but he presently changed his mind, and determined first to call on the colonel, as he thought it was proper to put an end to that matter before he gave Booth his liberty.

The doctor, after leaving Amelia, initially planned to go straight to Booth, but he soon changed his mind and decided to visit the colonel first, as he felt it was right to wrap up that matter before he gave Booth his freedom.

The doctor found the two colonels, James and Bath, together. They both received him very civilly, for James was a very well-bred man, and Bath always shewed a particular respect to the clergy, he being indeed a perfect good Christian, except in the articles of fighting and swearing.

The doctor found the two colonels, James and Bath, together. They both welcomed him courteously, as James was a well-mannered guy, and Bath always showed particular respect to the clergy, being a genuinely good Christian, except when it came to fighting and swearing.

Our divine sat some time without mentioning the subject of his errand, in hopes that Bath would go away, but when he found no likelihood of that (for indeed Bath was of the two much the most pleased with his company), he told James that he had something to say to him relating to Mr. Booth, which he believed he might speak before his brother.

Our divine sat quietly for a while without bringing up what he was there for, hoping that Bath would leave, but when he saw that wasn’t going to happen (since Bath clearly enjoyed being with him more than anyone), he told James he had something to discuss regarding Mr. Booth, which he thought he could share in front of his brother.

“Undoubtedly, sir,” said James; “for there can be no secrets between us which my brother may not hear.”

“Definitely, sir,” said James; “because there can be no secrets between us that my brother can’t hear.”

“I come then to you, sir,” said the doctor, “from the most unhappy woman in the world, to whose afflictions you have very greatly and very cruelly added by sending a challenge to her husband, which hath very luckily fallen into her hands; for, had the man for whom you designed it received it, I am afraid you would not have seen me upon this occasion.”

“I come to you now, sir,” said the doctor, “from the most miserable woman in the world, whose suffering you have greatly and cruelly increased by sending a challenge to her husband, which has fortunately come into her possession; for, if the man you intended it for had received it, I fear you wouldn’t have seen me here today.”

“If I writ such a letter to Mr. Booth, sir,” said James, “you may be assured I did not expect this visit in answer to it.”

“If I wrote such a letter to Mr. Booth, sir,” said James, “you can be sure I didn’t expect this visit in response to it.”

{Illustration: Dr. Harrison.}

{Illustration: Dr. Harrison.}

“I do not think you did,” cries the doctor; “but you have great reason to thank Heaven for ordering this matter contrary to your expectations. I know not what trifle may have drawn this challenge from you, but, after what I have some reason to know of you, sir, I must plainly tell you that, if you had added to your guilt already committed against this man, that of having his blood upon your hands, your soul would have become as black as hell itself.”

“I don't think you did,” the doctor exclaims; “but you should be very grateful that things turned out differently than you expected. I’m not sure what small issue might have led you to issue this challenge, but based on what I know about you, sir, I must be direct: if you had added to your guilt against this man by taking his life, your soul would have been as dark as hell itself.”

“Give me leave to say,” cries the colonel, “this is a language which I am not used to hear; and if your cloth was not your protection you should not give it me with impunity. After what you know of me, sir! What do you presume to know of me to my disadvantage?”

“Let me just say,” the colonel exclaims, “this is a kind of language I’m not used to hearing; and if your uniform wasn’t your shield, you wouldn’t be able to speak to me like this without consequences. Considering what you know about me, sir! What do you think you know about me that’s negative?”

“You say my cloth is my protection, colonel,” answered the doctor; “therefore pray lay aside your anger: I do not come with any design of affronting or offending you.”

“You say my clothing is my protection, Colonel,” the doctor replied; “so please put aside your anger: I’m not here to insult or offend you.”

“Very well,” cries Bath; “that declaration is sufficient from a clergyman, let him say what he pleases.”

“Alright,” shouts Bath; “that statement is enough coming from a clergyman, let him say whatever he wants.”

“Indeed, sir,” says the doctor very mildly, “I consult equally the good of you both, and, in a spiritual sense, more especially yours; for you know you have injured this poor man.”

“Of course, sir,” replies the doctor gently, “I’m considering the well-being of both of you, and, in a spiritual sense, especially yours; after all, you know you’ve hurt this poor man.”

“So far on the contrary,” cries James, “that I have been his greatest benefactor. I scorn to upbraid him, but you force me to it. Nor have I ever done him the least injury.”

“So far from that,” James exclaims, “I’ve actually been his biggest supporter. I don’t want to blame him, but you’re making me do it. I’ve never done him any harm at all.”

“Perhaps not,” said the doctor; “I will alter what I have said. But for this I apply to your honour—Have you not intended him an injury, the very intention of which cancels every obligation?”

“Maybe not,” said the doctor. “I’ll take back what I said. But for this, I appeal to your honor—Didn’t you mean to harm him, an intention that cancels any obligation?”

“How, sir?” answered the colonel; “what do you mean?”

“Excuse me, sir?” replied the colonel. “What do you mean?”

“My meaning,” replied the doctor, “is almost too tender to mention. Come, colonel, examine your own heart, and then answer me, on your honour, if you have not intended to do him the highest wrong which one man can do another?”

“My meaning,” replied the doctor, “is almost too sensitive to discuss. Come, Colonel, look into your own heart, and then honestly tell me if you haven’t intended to do him the greatest harm one person can do to another?”

“I do not know what you mean by the question,” answered the colonel.

“I don’t know what you mean by that question,” the colonel replied.

“D—n me, the question is very transparent!” cries Bath. “From any other man it would be an affront with the strongest emphasis, but from one of the doctor’s cloth it demands a categorical answer.”

“Damn me, the question is very clear!” shouts Bath. “From anyone else, it would be a serious insult, but from someone in the doctor’s profession, it deserves a straightforward answer.”

“I am not a papist, sir,” answered Colonel James, “nor am I obliged to confess to my priest. But if you have anything to say speak openly, for I do not understand your meaning.”

“I’m not a papist, sir,” Colonel James replied, “and I’m not required to confess to my priest. But if you have something to say, say it clearly, because I don’t understand what you mean.”

“I have explained my meaning to you already,” said the doctor, “in a letter I wrote to you on the subject—a subject which I am sorry I should have any occasion to write upon to a Christian.”

“I've already explained my meaning to you,” said the doctor, “in a letter I sent you about this topic—a topic that I regret having to write to a Christian about.”

“I do remember now,” cries the colonel, “that I received a very impertinent letter, something like a sermon, against adultery; but I did not expect to hear the author own it to my face.”

“I remember now,” the colonel exclaims, “that I got a really rude letter, kind of like a sermon, against adultery; but I didn’t expect the writer to admit it to my face.”

“That brave man then, sir,” answered the doctor, “stands before you who dares own he wrote that letter, and dares affirm too that it was writ on a just and strong foundation. But if the hardness of your heart could prevail on you to treat my good intention with contempt and scorn, what, pray, could induce you to shew it, nay, to give it Mr. Booth? What motive could you have for that, unless you meant to insult him, and provoke your rival to give you that opportunity of putting him out of the world, which you have since wickedly sought by your challenge?”

“Here stands the brave man, sir,” the doctor replied, “who dares to admit he wrote that letter and insists it was based on a fair and solid foundation. But if your hardened heart leads you to dismiss my good intentions with contempt and scorn, what, I ask, would make you show it—let alone give it to Mr. Booth? What motive could you possibly have for that, unless you intended to insult him and provoke your rival to give you the chance to eliminate him, which you have since wickedly pursued with your challenge?”

“I give him the letter!” said the colonel.

“I'll give him the letter!” said the colonel.

“Yes, sir,” answered the doctor, “he shewed me the letter, and affirmed that you gave it him at the masquerade.”

“Yes, sir,” replied the doctor, “he showed me the letter and insisted that you gave it to him at the masquerade.”

“He is a lying rascal, then!” said the colonel very passionately. “I scarce took the trouble of reading the letter, and lost it out of my pocket.”

“He's a lying jerk, then!” the colonel said emphatically. “I barely bothered to read the letter, and I lost it from my pocket.”

Here Bath interfered, and explained this affair in the manner in which it happened, and with which the reader is already acquainted. He concluded by great eulogiums on the performance, and declared it was one of the most enthusiastic (meaning, perhaps, ecclesiastic) letters that ever was written. “And d—n me,” says he, “if I do not respect the author with the utmost emphasis of thinking.”

Here Bath stepped in and explained the situation as it unfolded, which the reader is already familiar with. He wrapped up with high praise for the performance and declared it was one of the most enthusiastic (possibly even religious) letters ever written. “And damn me,” he said, “if I don’t respect the author with the highest regard.”

The doctor now recollected what had passed with Booth, and perceived he had made a mistake of one colonel for another. This he presently acknowledged to Colonel James, and said that the mistake had been his, and not Booth’s.

The doctor now remembered what had happened with Booth and realized he had confused one colonel for another. He quickly admitted this to Colonel James, stating that the mistake was his and not Booth’s.

Bath now collected all his gravity and dignity, as he called it, into his countenance, and, addressing himself to James, said, “And was that letter writ to you, brother?—I hope you never deserved any suspicion of this kind.”

Bath now gathered all his seriousness and dignity, as he called it, into his expression and turned to James, saying, “So, was that letter written to you, brother?—I hope you never gave anyone reason to suspect you in this way.”

“Brother,” cries James, “I am accountable to myself for my actions, and shall not render an account either to you or to that gentleman.”

“Brother,” shouts James, “I’m responsible for my own actions, and I won’t have to explain myself to you or to that guy.”

“As to me, brother,” answered Bath, “you say right; but I think this gentleman may call you to an account; nay, I think it is his duty so to do. And let me tell you, brother, there is one much greater than he to whom you must give an account. Mrs. Booth is really a fine woman, a lady of most imperious and majestic presence. I have heard you often say that you liked her; and, if you have quarrelled with her husband upon this account, by all the dignity of man I think you ought to ask his pardon.”

“As for me, brother,” answered Bath, “you’re right; but I believe this gentleman might hold you accountable; in fact, I think it’s his responsibility to do so. And let me remind you, brother, there is someone much greater than him to whom you must answer. Mrs. Booth is truly a wonderful woman, a lady of great authority and impressive presence. I’ve often heard you say that you liked her; and if you’ve had a falling out with her husband over this, by all means of honor, I think you should apologize to him.”

“Indeed, brother,” cries James, “I can bear this no longer—you will make me angry presently.”

“Seriously, brother,” James exclaims, “I can’t take this anymore—you’re going to make me really mad soon.”

“Angry! brother James,” cries Bath; “angry!—I love you, brother, and have obligations to you. I will say no more, but I hope you know I do not fear making any man angry.”

“Angry! Brother James,” Bath cries. “Angry!—I love you, brother, and I owe you. I won’t say more, but I hope you understand that I’m not afraid of making anyone angry.”

James answered he knew it well; and then the doctor, apprehending that while he was stopping up one breach he should make another, presently interfered, and turned the discourse back to Booth. “You tell me, sir,” said he to James, “that my gown is my protection; let it then at least protect me where I have had no design in offending—where I have consulted your highest welfare, as in truth I did in writing this letter. And if you did not in the least deserve any such suspicion, still you have no cause for resentment. Caution against sin, even to the innocent, can never be unwholesome. But this I assure you, whatever anger you have to me, you can have none to poor Booth, who was entirely ignorant of my writing to you, and who, I am certain, never entertained the least suspicion of you; on the contrary, reveres you with the highest esteem, and love, and gratitude. Let me therefore reconcile all matters between you, and bring you together before he hath even heard of this challenge.”

James replied that he knew it well; and then the doctor, realizing that while he was fixing one problem he might create another, quickly intervened and brought the conversation back to Booth. “You tell me, sir,” he said to James, “that my gown is my protection; let it at least protect me where I had no intention of offending—where I genuinely had your best interests in mind, as I did when writing this letter. And even if you didn't deserve any suspicion at all, you still have no reason to be upset. Being cautious about wrongdoing, even for the innocent, can never be harmful. But I assure you, whatever anger you have towards me, you can have none for poor Booth, who was completely unaware of my writing to you, and who I’m sure never suspected you in the slightest; on the contrary, he holds you in the highest esteem, love, and gratitude. So let me reconcile matters between you and bring you together before he even hears about this challenge.”

“Brother,” cries Bath, “I hope I shall not make you angry—I lie when I say so; for I am indifferent to any man’s anger. Let me be an accessory to what the doctor hath said. I think I may be trusted with matters of this nature, and it is a little unkind that, if you intended to send a challenge, you did not make me the bearer. But, indeed, as to what appears to me, this matter may be very well made up; and, as Mr. Booth doth not know of the challenge, I don’t see why he ever should, any more than your giving him the lie just now; but that he shall never have from me, nor, I believe, from this gentleman; for, indeed, if he should, it would be incumbent upon him to cut your throat.”

“Brother,” Bath exclaims, “I hope I won’t upset you—I’m lying when I say that; I really don’t care about any guy’s anger. Let me support what the doctor said. I think I can be trusted with this kind of thing, and it's a bit unfair that if you were planning to send a challenge, you didn’t let me deliver it. But honestly, from my perspective, this situation can be resolved easily; and since Mr. Booth doesn’t know about the challenge, I don’t see why he ever should, just like your recent insult to him; but he’ll never hear that from me, nor, I believe, from this gentleman; because really, if he did, it would be on him to cut your throat.”

“Lookee, doctor,” said James, “I do not deserve the unkind suspicion you just now threw out against me. I never thirsted after any man’s blood; and, as for what hath passed, since this discovery hath happened, I may, perhaps, not think it worth my while to trouble myself any more about it.”

“Hey, doctor,” said James, “I don’t deserve the unfair suspicion you just directed at me. I’ve never wanted to harm anyone; and regarding what has happened since this discovery came to light, I might not find it worthwhile to worry about it any further.”

The doctor was not contented with perhaps, he insisted on a firm promise, to be bound with the colonel’s honour. This at length he obtained, and then departed well satisfied.

The doctor wasn't happy with maybe; he demanded a solid promise, something the colonel would honor. Eventually, he got it, and then left feeling quite satisfied.

In fact, the colonel was ashamed to avow the real cause of the quarrel to this good man, or, indeed, to his brother Bath, who would not only have condemned him equally with the doctor, but would possibly have quarrelled with him on his sister’s account, whom, as the reader must have observed, he loved above all things; and, in plain truth, though the colonel was a brave man, and dared to fight, yet he was altogether as willing to let it alone; and this made him now and then give a little way to the wrongheadedness of Colonel Bath, who, with all the other principles of honour and humanity, made no more of cutting the throat of a man upon any of his punctilios than a butcher doth of killing sheep.

In fact, the colonel was embarrassed to admit the real reason for the fight to this good man, or even to his brother Bath, who would not only have judged him just as harshly as the doctor but might have also gotten into a fight with him over their sister, whom, as you've probably noticed, he loved more than anything. And to be honest, even though the colonel was brave and willing to fight, he was just as eager to avoid it. This sometimes led him to give in a bit to the stubbornness of Colonel Bath, who, despite having all the other principles of honor and humanity, thought nothing of taking a man's life over a minor dispute, just as a butcher does when killing sheep.










Chapter v. — What passed at the bailiff’s house.

The doctor now set forwards to his friend Booth, and, as he past by the door of his attorney in the way, he called upon him and took him with him.

The doctor then headed towards his friend Booth, and as he passed by his lawyer's office on the way, he stopped in and brought him along.

The meeting between him and Booth need not be expatiated on. The doctor was really angry, and, though he deferred his lecture to a more proper opportunity, yet, as he was no dissembler (indeed, he was incapable of any disguise), he could not put on a show of that heartiness with which he had formerly used to receive his friend.

The meeting between him and Booth doesn't need to be elaborated on. The doctor was genuinely angry, and although he chose to save his lecture for a more appropriate time, he couldn't pretend to be as friendly as he used to be with his friend, since he was not one to put on a facade (in fact, he was incapable of any pretense).

Booth at last began himself in the following manner: “Doctor, I am really ashamed to see you; and, if you knew the confusion of my soul on this occasion, I am sure you would pity rather than upbraid me; and yet I can say with great sincerity I rejoice in this last instance of my shame, since I am like to reap the most solid advantage from it.” The doctor stared at this, and Booth thus proceeded: “Since I have been in this wretched place I have employed my time almost entirely in reading over a series of sermons which are contained in that book (meaning Dr Barrow’s works, which then lay on the table before him) in proof of the Christian religion; and so good an effect have they had upon me, that I shall, I believe, be the better man for them as long as I live. I have not a doubt (for I own I have had such) which remains now unsatisfied. If ever an angel might be thought to guide the pen of a writer, surely the pen of that great and good man had such an assistant.” The doctor readily concurred in the praises of Dr Barrow, and added, “You say you have had your doubts, young gentleman; indeed, I did not know that—and, pray, what were your doubts?” “Whatever they were, sir,” said Booth, “they are now satisfied, as I believe those of every impartial and sensible reader will be if he will, with due attention, read over these excellent sermons.” “Very well,” answered the doctor, “though I have conversed, I find, with a false brother hitherto, I am glad you are reconciled to truth at last, and I hope your future faith will have some influence on your future life.” “I need not tell you, sir,” replied Booth, “that will always be the case where faith is sincere, as I assure you mine is. Indeed, I never was a rash disbeliever; my chief doubt was founded on this—that, as men appeared to me to act entirely from their passions, their actions could have neither merit nor demerit.” “A very worthy conclusion truly!” cries the doctor; “but if men act, as I believe they do, from their passions, it would be fair to conclude that religion to be true which applies immediately to the strongest of these passions, hope and fear; chusing rather to rely on its rewards and punishments than on that native beauty of virtue which some of the antient philosophers thought proper to recommend to their disciples. But we will defer this discourse till another opportunity; at present, as the devil hath thought proper to set you free, I will try if I can prevail on the bailiff to do the same.”

Booth finally spoke up like this: “Doctor, I’m really embarrassed to see you; if you knew how confused I feel right now, you’d surely feel sorry for me instead of scolding me. And yet, I can honestly say I’m glad for this last instance of my embarrassment because I think I'm going to gain something important from it.” The doctor looked surprised, and Booth continued, “Since I’ve been in this miserable place, I've spent most of my time reading a series of sermons in that book” (he pointed to Dr. Barrow’s works that were on the table in front of him) “that prove the Christian religion. They’ve had such a positive effect on me that I believe I’ll be a better person for them for the rest of my life. I no longer have any doubts (and I admit I had some) that remain unresolved. If ever an angel guided the hand of a writer, then surely that great and good man's pen had such a guide.” The doctor readily agreed with Booth’s praise of Dr. Barrow and added, “You mentioned you had doubts, young man; I wasn’t aware of that—if I may ask, what were they?” “Whatever they were, sir,” Booth replied, “they are now resolved, and I believe that any fair-minded and sensible reader will also find their doubts satisfied if they take the time to read these excellent sermons carefully.” “Very well,” the doctor responded, “though it seems I’ve been speaking with a misleading friend until now, I'm glad to hear you’ve finally embraced the truth, and I hope your newfound faith will positively influence your future life.” “I don’t need to tell you, sir,” Booth replied, “that’s always the case when faith is sincere, as I assure you mine is. In fact, I was never a reckless disbeliever; my main doubt stemmed from the observation that since people seemed to act purely based on their emotions, their actions couldn’t have true merit or demerit.” “That’s quite a notable conclusion!” exclaimed the doctor; “but if humans act, as I believe they do, according to their emotions, it would be reasonable to conclude that the religion which directly addresses the strongest of those emotions—hope and fear—must be true; favoring reliance on its rewards and punishments over the inherent goodness of virtue that some ancient philosophers preferred to teach their students. But let’s save that discussion for another time; for now, since the devil has decided to set you free, I will see if I can persuade the bailiff to do the same.”

The doctor had really not so much money in town as Booth’s debt amounted to, and therefore, though he would otherwise very willingly have paid it, he was forced to give bail to the action. For which purpose, as the bailiff was a man of great form, he was obliged to get another person to be bound with him. This person, however, the attorney undertook to procure, and immediately set out in quest of him.

The doctor didn’t actually have as much money in town as Booth’s debt required, so even though he would have happily paid it otherwise, he had to provide bail for the lawsuit. To do this, since the bailiff was a very formal man, he needed to find someone else to co-sign with him. However, the attorney took it upon himself to find that person and immediately went out looking for him.

During his absence the bailiff came into the room, and, addressing himself to the doctor, said, “I think, sir, your name is Doctor Harrison?” The doctor immediately acknowledged his name. Indeed, the bailiff had seen it to a bail-bond before. “Why then, sir,” said the bailiff, “there is a man above in a dying condition that desires the favour of speaking to you; I believe he wants you to pray by him.”

During his absence, the bailiff entered the room and addressed the doctor, saying, “I believe your name is Doctor Harrison?” The doctor promptly confirmed his name. In fact, the bailiff had seen it on a bail bond before. “In that case,” the bailiff continued, “there’s a man upstairs in critical condition who wishes to speak with you; I think he wants you to pray for him.”

The bailiff himself was not more ready to execute his office on all occasions for his fee than the doctor was to execute his for nothing. Without making any further enquiry therefore into the condition of the man, he immediately went up-stairs.

The bailiff himself wasn't any more eager to do his job for his fee than the doctor was to do his for free. So, without asking any more questions about the man's condition, he headed straight upstairs.

As soon as the bailiff returned down-stairs, which was immediately after he had lodged the doctor in the room, Booth had the curiosity to ask him who this man was. “Why, I don’t know much of him,” said the bailiff; “I had him once in custody before now: I remember it was when your honour was here last; and now I remember, too, he said that he knew your honour very well. Indeed, I had some opinion of him at that time, for he spent his money very much like a gentleman; but I have discovered since that he is a poor fellow, and worth nothing. He is a mere shy cock; I have had the stuff about me this week, and could never get at him till this morning; nay, I don’t believe we should ever have found out his lodgings had it not been for the attorney that was here just now, who gave us information. And so we took him this morning by a comical way enough; for we dressed up one of my men in women’s cloathes, who told the people of the house that he was his sister, just come to town—for we were told by the attorney that he had such a sister, upon which he was let up-stairs—and so kept the door ajar till I and another rushed in. Let me tell you, captain, there are as good stratagems made use of in our business as any in the army.”

As soon as the bailiff came back downstairs, right after he had put the doctor in the room, Booth couldn't help but ask him who this man was. “Well, I don’t know much about him,” said the bailiff; “I had him in custody once before: I remember it was when you were here last; and now I recall he said he knew you very well. Actually, I thought he was alright at that time because he spent his money like a gentleman; but I’ve found out since that he’s a broke guy and not worth anything. He’s just a bit of a coward; I’ve had him here this week and could never get to him until this morning; honestly, I don’t think we would have figured out where he was staying if it hadn’t been for the attorney who was just here, who gave us the tip. So we caught him this morning in a pretty funny way; we dressed one of my guys in women’s clothes, who told the people in the house that he was his sister just come to town—because the attorney told us he had a sister—so they let him upstairs—and we kept the door slightly open until I and another guy rushed in. Let me tell you, captain, there are as clever tricks used in our line of work as there are in the army.”

“But pray, sir,” said Booth, “did not you tell me this morning that the poor fellow was desperately wounded; nay, I think you told the doctor that he was a dying man?” “I had like to have forgot that,” cries the bailiff. “Nothing would serve the gentleman but that he must make resistance, and he gave my man a blow with a stick; but I soon quieted him by giving him a wipe or two with a hanger. Not that, I believe, I have done his business neither; but the fellow is faint-hearted, and the surgeon, I fancy, frightens him more than he need. But, however, let the worst come to the worst, the law is all on my side, and it is only se fendendo. The attorney that was here just now told me so, and bid me fear nothing; for that he would stand my friend, and undertake the cause; and he is a devilish good one at a defence at the Old Bailey, I promise you. I have known him bring off several that everybody thought would have been hanged.”

“But please, sir,” Booth said, “didn't you tell me this morning that the poor guy was seriously injured? In fact, I think you told the doctor he was a dying man?” “I almost forgot that,” replied the bailiff. “The gentleman insisted on resisting, and he hit my guy with a stick; but I quickly handled it by giving him a couple of slashes with a sword. Not that I believe I’ve really hurt him, but the guy is pretty weak-hearted, and I think the surgeon scares him more than necessary. But, anyway, if things go south, the law is on my side, and it’s only se fendendo. The lawyer who was just here told me so and advised me not to worry; he said he would support me and take on the case, and he’s really good at defending people at the Old Bailey, I promise you. I’ve seen him get several people off whom everyone thought would be hanged.”

“But suppose you should be acquitted,” said Booth, “would not the blood of this poor wretch lie a little heavy at your heart?”

“But what if you get acquitted,” Booth said, “wouldn’t the blood of this poor wretch weigh on your heart a bit?”

“Why should it, captain?” said the bailiff. “Is not all done in a lawful way? Why will people resist the law when they know the consequence? To be sure, if a man was to kill another in an unlawful manner as it were, and what the law calls murder, that is quite and clear another thing. I should not care to be convicted of murder any more than another man. Why now, captain, you have been abroad in the wars they tell me, and to be sure must have killed men in your time. Pray, was you ever afraid afterwards of seeing their ghosts?”

“Why should it, captain?” said the bailiff. “Isn't everything done legally? Why do people go against the law when they know what will happen? Sure, if someone were to kill another person in an illegal way, what the law calls murder, that’s obviously a different story. I wouldn't want to be convicted of murder any more than anyone else would. Now, captain, I've heard you've been out in the wars, and you must have killed people in your time. Tell me, were you ever afraid of seeing their ghosts afterward?”

“That is a different affair,” cries Booth; “but I would not kill a man in cold blood for all the world.”

“That's a whole different story,” Booth exclaims; “but I wouldn't kill a man in cold blood for anything in the world.”

“There is no difference at all, as I can see,” cries the bailiff. “One is as much in the way of business as the other. When gentlemen behave themselves like unto gentlemen I know how to treat them as such as well as any officer the king hath; and when they do not, why they must take what follows, and the law doth not call it murder.”

“There’s no difference at all, as I can see,” shouts the bailiff. “One is just as much about business as the other. When gentlemen act like gentlemen, I know how to treat them like that just as well as any officer the king has; and when they don’t, well, they have to deal with the consequences, and the law doesn’t call it murder.”

Booth very plainly saw that the bailiff had squared his conscience exactly according to law, and that he could not easily subvert his way of thinking. He therefore gave up the cause, and desired the bailiff to expedite the bonds, which he promised to do; saying, he hoped he had used him with proper civility this time, if he had not the last, and that he should be remembered for it.

Booth clearly realized that the bailiff had acted according to the law and that it would be difficult to change his perspective. So, he decided to drop the case and asked the bailiff to speed up the paperwork, which he agreed to do. The bailiff added that he hoped he had treated Booth with the proper respect this time, even if he hadn’t the last time, and that he would be remembered for it.

But before we close this chapter we shall endeavour to satisfy an enquiry, which may arise in our most favourite readers (for so are the most curious), how it came to pass that such a person as was Doctor Harrison should employ such a fellow as this Murphy?

But before we wrap up this chapter, we should try to answer a question that might come up for our most cherished readers (as they tend to be the most inquisitive): how is it that someone like Doctor Harrison would hire a guy like Murphy?

The case then was thus: this Murphy had been clerk to an attorney in the very same town in which the doctor lived, and, when he was out of his time, had set up with a character fair enough, and had married a maid-servant of Mrs. Harris, by which means he had all the business to which that lady and her friends, in which number was the doctor, could recommend him.

The situation was this: Murphy had worked as a clerk for a lawyer in the same town where the doctor lived, and after finishing his apprenticeship, he started his own practice with a pretty decent reputation. He married a maid who worked for Mrs. Harris, which helped him get all the business that Mrs. Harris and her friends, including the doctor, could send his way.

Murphy went on with his business, and thrived very well, till he happened to make an unfortunate slip, in which he was detected by a brother of the same calling. But, though we call this by the gentle name of a slip, in respect to its being so extremely common, it was a matter in which the law, if it had ever come to its ears, would have passed a very severe censure, being, indeed, no less than perjury and subornation of perjury.

Murphy continued with his work and did quite well until he made a bad mistake that was noticed by a fellow worker in the same field. But even though we refer to this as a simple mistake, considering how common it is, it was something that the law would have harshly criticized if it had ever found out about it, as it was nothing less than perjury and encouraging perjury.

This brother attorney, being a very good-natured man, and unwilling to bespatter his own profession, and considering, perhaps, that the consequence did in no wise affect the public, who had no manner of interest in the alternative whether A., in whom the right was, or B., to whom Mr. Murphy, by the means aforesaid, had transferred it, succeeded in an action; we mention this particular, because, as this brother attorney was a very violent party man, and a professed stickler for the public, to suffer any injury to have been done to that, would have been highly inconsistent with his principles.

This attorney, being a really kind person and not wanting to tarnish his own profession, and considering that the outcome didn’t really impact the public, who had no real stake in whether A., the rightful owner, or B., to whom Mr. Murphy had transferred it, came out on top in a lawsuit; we mention this detail because this attorney was very partisan and a strong advocate for the public, so it would have gone against his principles to allow any harm to come to that.

This gentleman, therefore, came to Mr. Murphy, and, after shewing him that he had it in his power to convict him of the aforesaid crime, very generously told him that he had not the least delight in bringing any man to destruction, nor the least animosity against him. All that he insisted upon was, that he would not live in the same town or county with one who had been guilty of such an action. He then told Mr. Murphy that he would keep the secret on two conditions; the one was, that he immediately quitted that country; the other was, that he should convince him he deserved this kindness by his gratitude, and that Murphy should transfer to the other all the business which he then had in those parts, and to which he could possibly recommend him.

This guy then went to Mr. Murphy and, after showing him that he could definitely accuse him of the crime mentioned, generously said he didn't take any pleasure in ruining anyone's life and had no hostility towards him. All he insisted on was that he wouldn't live in the same town or county as someone who had committed such an act. He then told Mr. Murphy that he would keep the secret under two conditions: the first was that he leave the country immediately; the second was that he prove he deserved this kindness by being grateful and transferring all the business he had in the area to him, along with any recommendations he could give.

It is the observation of a very wise man, that it is a very common exercise of wisdom in this world, of two evils to chuse the least. The reader, therefore, cannot doubt but that Mr. Murphy complied with the alternative proposed by his kind brother, and accepted the terms on which secrecy was to be obtained.

It is noted by a very wise man that a common aspect of wisdom in this world is choosing the lesser of two evils. Therefore, the reader cannot doubt that Mr. Murphy agreed to the option suggested by his caring brother and accepted the terms under which secrecy would be achieved.

This happened while the doctor was abroad, and with all this, except the departure of Murphy, not only the doctor, but the whole town (save his aforesaid brother alone), were to this day unacquainted.

This happened while the doctor was overseas, and with all this, except for Murphy's departure, not only the doctor but the entire town (except his previously mentioned brother) were, to this day, unaware.

The doctor, at his return, hearing that Mr. Murphy was gone, applied to the other attorney in his affairs, who still employed this Murphy as his agent in town, partly, perhaps, out of good will to him, and partly from the recommendation of Miss Harris; for, as he had married a servant of the family, and a particular favourite of hers, there can be no wonder that she, who was entirely ignorant of the affair above related, as well as of his conduct in town, should continue her favour to him. It will appear, therefore, I apprehend, no longer strange that the doctor, who had seen this man but three times since his removal to town, and then conversed with him only on business, should remain as ignorant of his life and character, as a man generally is of the character of the hackney-coachman who drives him. Nor doth it reflect more on the honour or understanding of the doctor, under these circumstances, to employ Murphy, than it would if he had been driven about the town by a thief or a murderer.

The doctor, upon returning, learned that Mr. Murphy was gone, so he turned to the other attorney handling his affairs, who still used Murphy as his agent in town. This was likely partly out of goodwill toward him and partly due to Miss Harris's recommendation. Since he had married a servant from the family and was a favorite of hers, it’s no surprise that she, completely unaware of the earlier situation and Murphy's actions in town, continued to support him. Therefore, it shouldn’t seem strange that the doctor, who had only seen this man three times since moving to town and spoke with him solely about business, remained as unaware of his life and character as most people are of their cab driver's character. Moreover, it doesn’t reflect poorly on the doctor’s honor or judgment to hire Murphy in this situation, any more than it would if he had been driven around town by a thief or a murderer.










Chapter vi. — What passed between the doctor and the sick man.

We left the doctor in the last chapter with the wounded man, to whom the doctor, in a very gentle voice, spoke as follows:—

We left the doctor in the last chapter with the injured man, to whom the doctor, in a very soft voice, said the following:—

“I am sorry, friend, to see you in this situation, and am very ready to give you any comfort or assistance within my power.”

“I’m really sorry to see you in this situation, my friend, and I’m more than willing to give you any comfort or help that I can.”

“I thank you kindly, doctor,” said the man. “Indeed I should not have presumed to have sent to you had I not known your character; for, though I believe I am not at all known to you, I have lived many years in that town where you yourself had a house; my name is Robinson. I used to write for the attorneys in those parts, and I have been employed on your business in my time.”

“I really appreciate it, doctor,” said the man. “Honestly, I wouldn't have thought to reach out to you if I didn't know your reputation; even though I’m not familiar to you, I’ve lived many years in the town where you had a house. My name is Robinson. I used to write for the lawyers in that area, and I’ve worked on your case in the past.”

“I do not recollect you nor your name,” said the doctor; “but consider, friend, your moments are precious, and your business, as I am informed, is to offer up your prayers to that great Being before whom you are shortly to appear. But first let me exhort you earnestly to a most serious repentance of all your sins.”

“I don’t remember you or your name,” said the doctor; “but listen, my friend, your time is valuable, and I understand that your purpose is to pray to that great Being you are about to meet. But first, let me strongly urge you to sincerely repent for all your sins.”

“O doctor!” said the man; “pray; what is your opinion of a death-bed repentance?”

“O doctor!” the man said, “Please, what’s your take on deathbed repentance?”

“If repentance is sincere,” cries the doctor, “I hope, through the mercies and merits of our most powerful and benign Intercessor, it will never come too late.”

“If repentance is sincere,” the doctor exclaims, “I hope that, through the kindness and merits of our most powerful and benevolent Intercessor, it will never be too late.”

“But do not you think, sir,” cries the man, “that, in order to obtain forgiveness of any great sin we have committed, by an injury done to our neighbours, it is necessary, as far as in us lies, to make all the amends we can to the party injured, and to undo, if possible, the injury we have done?”

“But don’t you think, sir,” the man shouts, “that to really get forgiveness for any serious sin we've committed, by hurting our neighbors, it's necessary, as much as we can, to make amends to the person we've harmed and to undo the damage we've caused, if possible?”

“Most undoubtedly,” cries the doctor; “our pretence to repentance would otherwise be gross hypocrisy, and an impudent attempt to deceive and impose upon our Creator himself.”

“Most definitely,” shouts the doctor; “our claim to repentance would otherwise be blatant hypocrisy, and a bold attempt to trick and take advantage of our Creator himself.”

“Indeed, I am of the same opinion,” cries the penitent; “and I think further, that this is thrown in my way, and hinted to me by that great Being; for an accident happened to me yesterday, by which, as things have fallen out since, I think I plainly discern the hand of Providence. I went yesterday, sir, you must know, to a pawnbroker’s, to pawn the last moveable, which, except the poor cloathes you see on my back, I am worth in the world. While I was there a young lady came in to pawn her picture. She had disguised herself so much, and pulled her hood so over her face, that I did not know her while she stayed, which was scarce three minutes. As soon as she was gone the pawnbroker, taking the picture in his hand, cried out, Upon my word, this is the handsomest face I ever saw in my life! I desired him to let me look on the picture, which he readily did—and I no sooner cast my eyes upon it, than the strong resemblance struck me, and I knew it to be Mrs. Booth.”

“Honestly, I feel the same way,” says the penitent; “and I believe that this has been placed in my path and has been hinted to me by that powerful Being; because something happened to me yesterday that, considering everything that has happened since, makes me believe I can clearly see the hand of Providence at work. I went yesterday, sir, just so you know, to a pawn shop to pawn my last valuable item, aside from the poor clothes you see on my back, which is all I have left in this world. While I was there, a young lady came in to pawn her painting. She had disguised herself so much and pulled her hood so far over her face that I didn’t recognize her while she was there, which was hardly three minutes. As soon as she left, the pawnbroker, holding the painting in his hand, exclaimed, Wow, this is the prettiest face I’ve ever seen! I asked him to let me take a look at the painting, which he happily did—and as soon as I laid my eyes on it, the strong resemblance hit me, and I realized it was Mrs. Booth.”

“Mrs. Booth! what Mrs. Booth?” cries the doctor.

“Mrs. Booth! Which Mrs. Booth?” shouts the doctor.

“Captain Booth’s lady, the captain who is now below,” said the other.

“Captain Booth’s wife, the captain who is down below,” said the other.

“How?” cries the doctor with great impetuosity.

“How?” the doctor asks urgently.

“Have patience,” said the man, “and you shall hear all. I expressed some surprize to the pawnbroker, and asked the lady’s name. He answered, that he knew not her name; but that she was some undone wretch, who had the day before left all her cloathes with him in pawn. My guilt immediately flew in my face, and told me I had been accessory to this lady’s undoing. The sudden shock so affected me, that, had it not been for a dram which the pawnbroker gave me, I believe I should have sunk on the spot.”

“Be patient,” the man said, “and you’ll hear everything. I expressed some surprise to the pawnbroker and asked for the lady’s name. He replied that he didn’t know her name; he only knew that she was a desperate soul who had left all her clothes with him as collateral the day before. My guilt washed over me instantly, making me realize that I had played a part in this lady’s downfall. The sudden shock hit me so hard that, if it hadn’t been for a drink the pawnbroker gave me, I think I would have collapsed right there.”

“Accessary to her undoing! how accessary?” said the doctor. “Pray tell me, for I am impatient to hear.”

“Accessory to her downfall! How is that possible?” said the doctor. “Please tell me, because I'm eager to know.”

“I will tell you all as fast as I can,” cries the sick man. “You know, good doctor, that Mrs. Harris of our town had two daughters, this Mrs. Booth and another. Now, sir, it seems the other daughter had, some way or other, disobliged her mother a little before the old lady died; therefore she made a will, and left all her fortune, except one thousand pound, to Mrs. Booth; to which will Mr. Murphy, myself, and another who is now dead, were the witnesses. Mrs. Harris afterwards died suddenly; upon which it was contrived by her other daughter and Mr. Murphy to make a new will, in which Mrs. Booth had a legacy of ten pound, and all the rest was given to the other. To this will, Murphy, myself, and the same third person, again set our hands.”

“I'll tell you everything as quickly as I can,” the sick man says. “You know, good doctor, that Mrs. Harris from our town had two daughters, this Mrs. Booth and another one. Now, it looks like the other daughter had somehow gotten on her mother's bad side just before the old lady passed away; because of that, she made a will, leaving all her fortune, except for one thousand pounds, to Mrs. Booth. Mr. Murphy, another person who is now deceased, and I were the witnesses to that will. Mrs. Harris later died suddenly, and then the other daughter and Mr. Murphy arranged to create a new will, in which Mrs. Booth only received a legacy of ten pounds, and everything else went to the other daughter. Murphy, that same third person, and I signed that will again.”

“Good Heaven! how wonderful is thy providence!” cries the doctor—“Murphy, say you?”

“Good heavens! How amazing is your providence!” exclaims the doctor—“Murphy, you say?”

“He himself, sir,” answered Robinson; “Murphy, who is the greatest rogue, I believe, now in the world.”

“He himself, sir,” replied Robinson; “Murphy, who I believe is the biggest con artist in the world right now.”

“Pray, sir, proceed,” cries the doctor.

“Please, sir, go on,” the doctor urges.

“For this service, sir,” said Robinson, “myself and the third person, one Carter, received two hundred pound each. What reward Murphy himself had I know not. Carter died soon afterwards; and from that time, at several payments, I have by threats extorted above a hundred pound more. And this, sir, is the whole truth, which I am ready to testify if it would please Heaven to prolong my life.”

“For this service, sir,” said Robinson, “Carter and I each received two hundred pounds. I don’t know what reward Murphy himself got. Carter died soon after; and since then, I’ve extorted over a hundred pounds more at various times through threats. And this, sir, is the whole truth, which I am ready to testify to if Heaven would be so kind as to let me live longer.”

“I hope it will,” cries the doctor; “but something must be done for fear of accidents. I will send to counsel immediately to know how to secure your testimony.—Whom can I get to send?—Stay, ay—he will do—but I know not where his house or his chambers are. I will go myself—but I may be wanted here.”

“I hope it will,” the doctor exclaims; “but we need to take action to prevent any mishaps. I’ll send someone to get advice on how to secure your testimony.—Who can I send?—Wait, yes—he’ll work, but I don’t know where his office or home is. I’ll go myself—but I might be needed here.”

While the doctor was in this violent agitation the surgeon made his appearance. The doctor stood still in a meditating posture, while the surgeon examined his patient. After which the doctor begged him to declare his opinion, and whether he thought the wounded man in any immediate danger of death. “I do not know,” answered the surgeon, “what you call immediate. He may live several days—nay, he may recover. It is impossible to give any certain opinion in these cases.” He then launched forth into a set of terms which the doctor, with all his scholarship, could not understand. To say the truth, many of them were not to be found in any dictionary or lexicon.

While the doctor was in a state of intense agitation, the surgeon arrived. The doctor remained still, deep in thought, as the surgeon examined the patient. Afterward, the doctor asked him to share his opinion and whether he believed the wounded man was in any immediate danger of dying. “I’m not sure,” replied the surgeon, “what you consider immediate. He might live for several days—actually, he could recover. It's impossible to give a definite opinion in situations like these.” He then started using a bunch of technical terms that the doctor, despite all his education, couldn’t grasp. Honestly, many of those terms didn’t even exist in any dictionary.

One discovery, however, the doctor made, and that was, that the surgeon was a very ignorant, conceited fellow, and knew nothing of his profession. He resolved, therefore, to get better advice for the sick; but this he postponed at present, and, applying himself to the surgeon, said, “He should be very much obliged to him if he knew where to find such a counsellor, and would fetch him thither. I should not ask such a favour of you, sir,” says the doctor, “if it was not on business of the last importance, or if I could find any other messenger.”

One thing the doctor discovered was that the surgeon was a very ignorant, arrogant guy who didn’t know anything about his job. He decided to seek better advice for the sick; however, he put that off for now. Instead, he turned to the surgeon and said, “I would really appreciate it if you could tell me where to find such a consultant and bring him here. I wouldn’t ask you for this favor, sir,” the doctor continued, “if it wasn’t about something extremely important, or if I could find another messenger.”

“I fetch, sir!” said the surgeon very angrily. “Do you take me for a footman or a porter? I don’t know who you are; but I believe you are full as proper to go on such an errand as I am.” (For as the doctor, who was just come off his journey, was very roughly dressed, the surgeon held him in no great respect.) The surgeon then called aloud from the top of the stairs, “Let my coachman draw up,” and strutted off without any ceremony, telling his patient he would call again the next day.

“I'll get it, sir!” the surgeon replied angrily. “Do you think I'm a footman or a porter? I don’t know who you are, but I believe you’re just as qualified to run such an errand as I am.” (Since the doctor, who had just returned from his journey, was dressed quite poorly, the surgeon didn’t respect him much.) The surgeon then called out loudly from the top of the stairs, “Have my driver pull up,” and walked away without any formality, telling his patient he would come back the next day.

At this very instant arrived Murphy with the other bail, and, finding Booth alone, he asked the bailiff at the door what was become of the doctor? “Why, the doctor,” answered he, “is above-stairs, praying with——-.” “How!” cries Murphy. “How came you not to carry him directly to Newgate, as you promised me?” “Why, because he was wounded,” cries the bailiff. “I thought it was charity to take care of him; and, besides, why should one make more noise about the matter than is necessary?” “And Doctor Harrison with him?” said Murphy. “Yes, he is,” said the bailiff; “he desired to speak with the doctor very much, and they have been praying together almost this hour.” “All is up and undone!” cries Murphy. “Let me come by, I have thought of something which I must do immediately.”

At that very moment, Murphy showed up with the other bail, and, finding Booth alone, he asked the bailiff at the door where the doctor was. “Oh, the doctor,” the bailiff replied, “is upstairs, praying with——-.” “What?!” Murphy exclaimed. “Why didn’t you take him straight to Newgate like you promised?” “Because he was injured,” the bailiff said. “I thought it was kind to look after him; besides, why make a bigger deal out of it than necessary?” “And Doctor Harrison is with him?” Murphy asked. “Yes, he is,” the bailiff confirmed. “He really wanted to talk to the doctor, and they’ve been praying together for almost an hour.” “Everything is a mess!” Murphy shouted. “Let me through; I just thought of something I need to do right away.”

Now, as by means of the surgeon’s leaving the door open the doctor heard Murphy’s voice naming Robinson peevishly, he drew softly to the top of the stairs, where he heard the foregoing dialogue; and as soon as Murphy had uttered his last words, and was moving downwards, the doctor immediately sallied from his post, running as fast as he could, and crying, Stop the villain! stop the thief!

Now, when the surgeon left the door open and the doctor heard Murphy grumbling about Robinson, he quietly made his way to the top of the stairs, where he listened to the conversation. As soon as Murphy finished speaking and started to head down, the doctor quickly rushed out from his hiding spot, running as fast as he could, shouting, "Stop the villain! Stop the thief!"

The attorney wanted no better hint to accelerate his pace; and, having the start of the doctor, got downstairs, and out into the street; but the doctor was so close at his heels, and being in foot the nimbler of the two, he soon overtook him, and laid hold of him, as he would have done on either Broughton or Slack in the same cause.

The lawyer needed no second invitation to speed up; and with a head start on the doctor, he hurried downstairs and out onto the street. But the doctor was right on his tail, and being quicker on foot, he quickly caught up and grabbed him, just as he would have with either Broughton or Slack in the same situation.

This action in the street, accompanied with the frequent cry of Stop thief by the doctor during the chase, presently drew together a large mob, who began, as is usual, to enter immediately upon business, and to make strict enquiry into the matter, in order to proceed to do justice in their summary way.

This commotion in the street, along with the doctor's repeated shouts of "Stop thief!" during the chase, quickly attracted a large crowd. They began, as is typical, to jump right into action and investigate the situation so they could swiftly deliver their own form of justice.

Murphy, who knew well the temper of the mob, cried out, “If you are a bailiff, shew me your writ. Gentlemen, he pretends to arrest me here without a writ.”

Murphy, who was well aware of the mob's temper, shouted, “If you’re a bailiff, show me your writ. Gentlemen, he’s pretending to arrest me here without a writ.”

Upon this, one of the sturdiest and forwardest of the mob, and who by a superior strength of body and of lungs presided in this assembly, declared he would suffer no such thing. “D—n me,” says he, “away to the pump with the catchpole directly—shew me your writ, or let the gentleman go—you shall not arrest a man contrary to law.”

Upon this, one of the strongest and boldest of the crowd, who had the physical strength and loud voice to take charge of the meeting, declared that he wouldn't put up with it. “Damn it,” he said, “take the bailiff straight to the pump—show me your warrant, or let the gentleman go—you can't arrest a man illegally.”

He then laid his hands on the doctor, who, still fast griping the attorney, cried out, “He is a villain—I am no bailiff, but a clergyman, and this lawyer is guilty of forgery, and hath ruined a poor family.”

He then put his hands on the doctor, who, still holding onto the attorney tightly, shouted, “He is a villain—I’m not a bailiff, but a clergyman, and this lawyer is guilty of forgery and has ruined a poor family.”

“How!” cries the spokesman—“a lawyer!—that alters the case.”

“How!” exclaims the spokesperson—“a lawyer!—that changes everything.”

“Yes, faith,” cries another of the mob, “it is lawyer Murphy. I know him very well.”

“Yes, faith,” yells another person in the crowd, “it's lawyer Murphy. I know him really well.”

“And hath he ruined a poor family?—like enough, faith, if he’s a lawyer. Away with him to the justice immediately.”

“And has he destroyed a poor family?—probably, honestly, if he’s a lawyer. Take him to the judge right away.”

The bailiff now came up, desiring to know what was the matter; to whom Doctor Harrison answered that he had arrested that villain for a forgery. “How can you arrest him?” cries the bailiff; “you are no officer, nor have any warrant. Mr. Murphy is a gentleman, and he shall be used as such.”

The bailiff approached, wanting to know what was going on; to which Doctor Harrison replied that he had arrested that scoundrel for forgery. “How can you arrest him?” shouted the bailiff; “you’re not an officer and you don’t have a warrant. Mr. Murphy is a gentleman, and he should be treated as such.”

“Nay, to be sure,” cries the spokesman, “there ought to be a warrant; that’s the truth on’t.”

“Nah, for sure,” the spokesperson says, “there should be a warrant; that’s the truth of it.”

“There needs no warrant,” cries the doctor. “I accuse him of felony; and I know so much of the law of England, that any man may arrest a felon without any warrant whatever. This villain hath undone a poor family; and I will die on the spot before I part with him.”

“There’s no need for a warrant,” the doctor shouts. “I’m accusing him of a crime, and I know enough about the law in England to say that anyone can arrest a felon without any warrant at all. This scoundrel has destroyed a poor family, and I would rather die right here than let him go.”

“If the law be so,” cries the orator, “that is another matter. And to be sure, to ruin a poor man is the greatest of sins. And being a lawyer too makes it so much the worse. He shall go before the justice, d—n me if he shan’t go before the justice! I says the word, he shall.”

“If the law is like that,” the speaker exclaims, “then that's a different story. And indeed, destroying a poor man is one of the worst sins. And being a lawyer only makes it worse. He will face the judge, damn it if he won’t face the judge! I said the word, he will.”

“I say he is a gentleman, and shall be used according to law,” cries the bailiff; “and, though you are a clergyman,” said he to Harrison, “you don’t shew yourself as one by your actions.”

“I say he is a gentleman, and should be treated according to the law,” shouts the bailiff; “and, even though you’re a clergyman,” he said to Harrison, “you’re not acting like one.”

“That’s a bailiff,” cries one of the mob: “one lawyer will always stand by another; but I think the clergyman is a very good man, and acts becoming a clergyman, to stand by the poor.”

"That's a bailiff," shouts one of the crowd. "One lawyer will always back another; but I believe the clergyman is a really good person and does what's right for a clergyman by supporting the poor."

At which words the mob all gave a great shout, and several cried out, “Bring him along, away with him to the justice!”

At that, the crowd erupted with a loud cheer, and several shouted, “Take him away, let's bring him to the judge!”

And now a constable appeared, and with an authoritative voice declared what he was, produced his staff, and demanded the peace.

And now a police officer appeared and, in a commanding voice, stated who he was, showed his badge, and requested order.

The doctor then delivered his prisoner over to the officer, and charged him with felony; the constable received him, the attorney submitted, the bailiff was hushed, and the waves of the mob immediately subsided.

The doctor then handed his prisoner over to the officer and charged him with a felony; the constable took him in, the attorney agreed, the bailiff fell quiet, and the crowd's noise quickly calmed down.

The doctor now balanced with himself how he should proceed: at last he determined to leave Booth a little longer in captivity, and not to quit sight of Murphy before he had lodged him safe with a magistrate. They then all moved forwards to the justice; the constable and his prisoner marching first, the doctor and the bailiff following next, and about five thousand mob (for no less number were assembled in a very few minutes) following in the procession.

The doctor considered how he should proceed: he finally decided to keep Booth in custody a bit longer and not lose sight of Murphy until he had safely handed him over to a magistrate. They all moved forward to the justice; the constable and his prisoner led the way, followed by the doctor and the bailiff, with about five thousand people (since that’s how many had gathered in just a few minutes) trailing behind in the procession.

They found the magistrate just sitting down to his dinner; however, when he was acquainted with the doctor’s profession, he immediately admitted him, and heard his business; which he no sooner perfectly understood, with all its circumstances, than he resolved, though it was then very late, and he had been fatigued all the morning with public business, to postpone all refreshment till he had discharged his duty. He accordingly adjourned the prisoner and his cause to the bailiff’s house, whither he himself, with the doctor, immediately repaired, and whither the attorney was followed by a much larger number of attendants than he had been honoured with before.

They found the magistrate just sitting down to dinner; however, when he learned about the doctor’s profession, he immediately let him in and listened to his case. As soon as he completely understood the situation and all its details, he decided, even though it was late and he had been exhausted all morning with public duties, to put off any refreshments until he had done his duty. He then moved the prisoner and his case to the bailiff’s house, where he himself, along with the doctor, headed right away, and the attorney was followed by a much larger group of people than he had been with before.










Chapter vii. — In which the history draws towards a conclusion.

Nothing could exceed the astonishment of Booth at the behaviour of the doctor at the time when he sallied forth in pursuit of the attorney; for which it was so impossible for him to account in any manner whatever. He remained a long time in the utmost torture of mind, till at last the bailif’s wife came to him, and asked him if the doctor was not a madman? and, in truth, he could hardly defend him from that imputation.

Nothing could top Booth's astonishment at the doctor's behavior when he rushed out to chase the attorney, as he couldn't make sense of it at all. He spent a long time in extreme mental anguish until finally, the bailiff’s wife approached him and asked if the doctor was crazy. Honestly, he could barely defend him against that accusation.

While he was in this perplexity the maid of the house brought him a message from Robinson, desiring the favour of seeing him above-stairs. With this he immediately complied.

While he was in this confusion, the maid of the house brought him a message from Robinson, requesting to see him upstairs. He immediately agreed.

When these two were alone together, and the key turned on them (for the bailiff’s wife was a most careful person, and never omitted that ceremony in the absence of her husband, having always at her tongue’s end that excellent proverb of “Safe bind, safe find”), Robinson, looking stedfastly upon Booth, said, “I believe, sir, you scarce remember me.”

When these two were alone together, and the key was turned in the lock (since the bailiff’s wife was very careful and never skipped that step when her husband was away, often recalling the excellent saying, “Secure it well, and you’ll find it safe”), Robinson, gazing intently at Booth, said, “I don’t think you remember me very well, sir.”

Booth answered that he thought he had seen his face somewhere before, but could not then recollect when or where.

Booth replied that he thought he had seen his face somewhere before, but he couldn't remember when or where.

“Indeed, sir,” answered the man, “it was a place which no man can remember with pleasure. But do you not remember, a few weeks ago, that you had the misfortune to be in a certain prison in this town, where you lost a trifling sum at cards to a fellow-prisoner?”

“Of course, sir,” replied the man, “it was a place no one can recall with satisfaction. But don’t you remember, a few weeks back, you unfortunately found yourself in a certain jail in this town, where you lost a small amount playing cards to another inmate?”

This hint sufficiently awakened Booth’s memory, and he now recollected the features of his old friend Robinson. He answered him a little surlily, “I know you now very well, but I did not imagine you would ever have reminded me of that transaction.”

This reminder jogged Booth’s memory, and he now recalled the face of his old friend Robinson. He responded somewhat curtly, “I recognize you now, but I didn’t expect you to bring up that incident.”

“Alas, sir!” answered Robinson, “whatever happened then was very trifling compared to the injuries I have done you; but if my life be spared long enough I will now undo it all: and, as I have been one of your worst enemies, I will now be one of your best friends.”

“Unfortunately, sir!” replied Robinson, “whatever happened back then was nothing compared to the harm I've caused you; but if I’m given enough time, I’ll make it right: and since I’ve been one of your worst enemies, I’ll now be one of your best friends.”

He was just entering upon his story when a noise was heard below which might be almost compared to what have been heard in Holland when the dykes have given way, and the ocean in an inundation breaks in upon the land. It seemed, indeed, as if the whole world was bursting into the house at once.

He was just starting his story when a noise came from below that could almost be likened to what’s been heard in Holland when the dikes have broken, and the ocean floods the land. It really felt like the whole world was crashing into the house all at once.

Booth was a man of great firmness of mind, and he had need of it all at this instant. As for poor Robinson, the usual concomitants of guilt attended him, and he began to tremble in a violent manner.

Booth was a man with a strong will, and he needed every bit of it at that moment. Poor Robinson, on the other hand, was weighed down by the typical signs of guilt, and he started to shake uncontrollably.

The first person who ascended the stairs was the doctor, who no sooner saw Booth than he ran to him and embraced him, crying, “My child, I wish you joy with all my heart. Your sufferings are all at an end, and Providence hath done you the justice at last which it will, one day or other, render to all men. You will hear all presently; but I can now only tell you that your sister is discovered and the estate is your own.”

The first person to go up the stairs was the doctor, who as soon as he saw Booth ran to him and hugged him, saying, “My child, I wish you all the happiness in the world. Your suffering is finally over, and fate has given you the justice you deserve, which it will eventually grant to everyone. You’ll find out everything soon, but for now, I can only tell you that your sister has been found and the estate is yours.”

Booth was in such confusion that he scarce made any answer, and now appeared the justice and his clerk, and immediately afterwards the constable with his prisoner, the bailiff, and as many more as could possibly crowd up-stairs.

Booth was so confused that he barely responded, and just then the justice and his clerk arrived, followed shortly by the constable with his prisoner, the bailiff, and as many others as could possibly crowd upstairs.

The doctor now addressed himself to the sick man, and desired him to repeat the same information before the justice which he had made already; to which Robinson readily consented.

The doctor now spoke to the sick man and asked him to repeat the same information in front of the justice that he had already shared; Robinson agreed without hesitation.

While the clerk was taking down the information, the attorney expressed a very impatient desire to send instantly for his clerk, and expressed so much uneasiness at the confusion in which he had left his papers at home, that a thought suggested itself to the doctor that, if his house was searched, some lights and evidence relating to this affair would certainly be found; he therefore desired the justice to grant a search-warrant immediately to search his house.

While the clerk was recording the information, the attorney showed a clear impatience to quickly send for his clerk and expressed a lot of anxiety about the mess he had left his papers in at home. This made the doctor think that if his house was searched, some clues and evidence about this situation would definitely be uncovered; he therefore asked the justice to issue a search warrant right away to search his house.

The justice answered that he had no such power; that, if there was any suspicion of stolen goods, he could grant a warrant to search for them.

The judge replied that he didn’t have that authority; if there was any suspicion of stolen property, he could issue a warrant to search for it.

“How, sir!” said the doctor, “can you grant a warrant to search a man’s house for a silver tea-spoon, and not in a case like this, where a man is robbed of his whole estate?”

“How can you issue a warrant to search someone's house for a silver tea-spoon, but not in a situation like this, where a man is stripped of his entire estate?”

“Hold, sir,” says the sick man; “I believe I can answer that point; for I can swear he hath several title-deeds of the estate now in his possession, which I am sure were stolen from the right owner.”

“Wait, sir,” says the sick man; “I think I can address that issue; because I can confirm he has several title deeds of the estate he currently owns, which I am sure were taken from the rightful owner.”

The justice still hesitated. He said title-deeds savoured of the Realty, and it was not felony to steal them. If, indeed, they were taken away in a box, then it would be felony to steal the box. — “Savour of the Realty! Savour of the f—talty,” said the doctor. “I never heard such incomprehensible nonsense. This is impudent, as well as childish trifling with the lives and properties of men.”

The judge still hesitated. He said that title deeds implied ownership, and it wasn’t a crime to steal them. If, however, they were taken in a box, then it would be a crime to steal the box. — “Imply ownership! What nonsense,” said the doctor. “I’ve never heard such incomprehensible nonsense. This is brazen, as well as childish, playing with people’s lives and property.”

“Well, sir,” said Robinson, “I now am sure I can do his business; for I know he hath a silver cup in his possession which is the property of this gentleman (meaning Booth), and how he got it but by stealth let him account if he can.”

“Well, sir,” said Robinson, “I’m now certain I can handle this for him; because I know he has a silver cup that belongs to this gentleman (referring to Booth), and if he can explain how he got it other than by sneaking around, let him try.”

“That will do,” cries the justice with great pleasure. “That will do; and if you will charge him on oath with that, I will instantly grant my warrant to search his house for it.” “And I will go and see it executed,” cries the doctor; for it was a maxim of his, that no man could descend below himself in doing any act which may contribute to protect an innocent person, or to bring a rogue to the gallows.

“That’s enough,” the judge exclaims with great satisfaction. “That’s enough; and if you’ll swear to that accusation, I’ll immediately issue my warrant to search his house for it.” “And I’ll make sure it gets done,” the doctor replies; it was a principle of his that no one could lower themselves by taking any action that helps protect an innocent person or bring a criminal to justice.

The oath was instantly taken, the warrant signed, and the doctor attended the constable in the execution of it.

The oath was taken right away, the warrant was signed, and the doctor accompanied the officer to carry it out.

The clerk then proceeded in taking the information of Robinson, and had just finished it, when the doctor returned with the utmost joy in his countenance, and declared that he had sufficient evidence of the fact in his possession. He had, indeed, two or three letters from Miss Harris in answer to the attorney’s frequent demands of money for secrecy, that fully explained the whole villany.

The clerk then started gathering Robinson's information and had just wrapped it up when the doctor came back, his face full of joy, and announced that he had enough proof in his hands. He actually had a couple of letters from Miss Harris responding to the attorney's repeated requests for money in exchange for secrecy, which completely laid out the whole scheme.

The justice now asked the prisoner what he had to say for himself, or whether he chose to say anything in his own defence.

The judge then asked the prisoner what he had to say for himself, or if he wanted to say anything in his defense.

“Sir,” said the attorney, with great confidence, “I am not to defend myself here. It will be of no service to me; for I know you neither can nor will discharge me. But I am extremely innocent of all this matter, as I doubt not but to make appear to the satisfaction of a court of justice.”

“Sir,” said the attorney confidently, “I’m not here to defend myself. It won’t help me, because I know you can’t and won’t let me go. But I am completely innocent in this matter, and I have no doubt I can prove that to the satisfaction of a court of law.”

The legal previous ceremonies were then gone through of binding over the prosecutor, &c., and then the attorney was committed to Newgate, whither he was escorted amidst the acclamations of the populace.

The legal formalities for binding over the prosecutor and so on were then completed, and the attorney was taken to Newgate, where he was escorted through the cheering crowd.

When Murphy was departed, and a little calm restored in the house, the justice made his compliments of congratulation to Booth, who, as well as he could in his present tumult of joy, returned his thanks to both the magistrate and the doctor. They were now all preparing to depart, when Mr. Bondum stept up to Booth, and said, “Hold, sir, you have forgot one thing—you have not given bail yet.”

When Murphy left and things settled down a bit in the house, the judge congratulated Booth, who, despite his overwhelming joy, managed to thank both the magistrate and the doctor. They were all getting ready to leave when Mr. Bondum approached Booth and said, “Wait, sir, you’ve forgotten one thing—you haven’t posted bail yet.”

This occasioned some distress at this time, for the attorney’s friend was departed; but when the justice heard this, he immediately offered himself as the other bondsman, and thus ended the affair.

This caused some distress at that time, since the attorney's friend had passed away; however, when the justice heard this, he immediately offered to be the other bondsman, and that resolved the matter.

It was now past six o’clock, and none of the gentlemen had yet dined. They very readily, therefore, accepted the magistrate’s invitation, and went all together to his house.

It was now after six o’clock, and none of the gentlemen had eaten dinner yet. They readily accepted the magistrate’s invitation and all went together to his house.

And now the very first thing that was done, even before they sat down to dinner, was to dispatch a messenger to one of the best surgeons in town to take care of Robinson, and another messenger to Booth’s lodgings to prevent Amelia’s concern at their staying so long.

And the very first thing they did, even before they sat down for dinner, was send a messenger to one of the best surgeons in town to look after Robinson, and another messenger to Booth's place to ease Amelia's worries about them taking so long.

The latter, however, was to little purpose; for Amelia’s patience had been worn out before, and she had taken a hackney-coach and driven to the bailiff’s, where she arrived a little after the departure of her husband, and was thence directed to the justice’s.

The latter, however, was for nothing; Amelia’s patience had already run out, and she had taken a cab and gone to the bailiff’s, where she arrived shortly after her husband left, and from there, she was directed to the justice’s.

Though there was no kind of reason for Amelia’s fright at hearing that her husband and Doctor Harrison were gone before the justice, and though she indeed imagined that they were there in the light of complainants, not of offenders, yet so tender were her fears for her husband, and so much had her gentle spirits been lately agitated, that she had a thousand apprehensions of she knew not what. When she arrived, therefore, at the house, she ran directly into the room where all the company were at dinner, scarce knowing what she did or whither she was going.

Though there was no real reason for Amelia to be scared at hearing that her husband and Doctor Harrison had gone before the justice, and even though she believed they were there as complainants rather than offenders, her worries for her husband were so intense, and her nerves had been so frayed lately, that she felt a thousand fears about who knows what. So when she reached the house, she hurried straight into the room where everyone was having dinner, hardly aware of what she was doing or where she was going.

She found her husband in such a situation, and discovered such chearfulness in his countenance, that so violent a turn was given to her spirits that she was just able, with the assistance of a glass of water, to support herself. She soon, however, recovered her calmness, and in a little time began to eat what might indeed be almost called her breakfast.

She found her husband in that situation and noticed such a cheerful expression on his face that it gave her spirits such a jolt that she could barely hold herself together, only managing with a glass of water. However, she soon regained her composure and after a while started to eat what could almost be called her breakfast.

The justice now wished her joy of what had happened that day, for which she kindly thanked him, apprehending he meant the liberty of her husband. His worship might perhaps have explained himself more largely had not the doctor given him a timely wink; for this wise and good man was fearful of making such a discovery all at once to Amelia, lest it should overpower her, and luckily the justice’s wife was not well enough acquainted with the matter to say anything more on it than barely to assure the lady that she joined in her husband’s congratulation.

The justice now congratulated her on what had happened that day, for which she kindly thanked him, realizing he meant her husband’s freedom. He might have explained himself further if the doctor hadn't given him a quick signal; this wise and kind man was worried about revealing too much to Amelia at once, fearing it might overwhelm her. Fortunately, the justice’s wife wasn’t well enough informed about the situation to add anything more than simply assuring the lady that she supported her husband’s congratulations.

Amelia was then in a clean white gown, which she had that day redeemed, and was, indeed, dressed all over with great neatness and exactness; with the glow therefore which arose in her features from finding her husband released from his captivity, she made so charming a figure, that she attracted the eyes of the magistrate and of his wife, and they both agreed when they were alone that they had never seen so charming a creature; nay, Booth himself afterwards told her that he scarce ever remembered her to look so extremely beautiful as she did that evening.

Amelia was wearing a clean white dress that she had just gotten that day, and she looked very neat and put together. The joy on her face from seeing her husband freed from captivity made her look so lovely that she caught the attention of the magistrate and his wife. When they were alone, they both agreed they had never seen such a beautiful person. In fact, Booth himself later told her that he could hardly remember her ever looking as stunning as she did that evening.

Whether Amelia’s beauty, or the reflexion on the remarkable act of justice he had performed, or whatever motive filled the magistrate with extraordinary good humour, and opened his heart and cellars, I will not determine; but he gave them so hearty a welcome, and they were all so pleased with each other, that Amelia, for that one night, trusted the care of her children to the woman where they lodged, nor did the company rise from table till the clock struck eleven.

Whether it was Amelia’s beauty, the memory of the impressive act of justice he had done, or some other reason that made the magistrate exceptionally cheerful and generous, I won’t say; but he welcomed them so warmly, and they all got along so well that Amelia, for that one night, left her children in the care of the woman at their lodgings. The group didn’t get up from the table until the clock struck eleven.

They then separated. Amelia and Booth, having been set down at their lodgings, retired into each other’s arms; nor did Booth that evening, by the doctor’s advice, mention one word of the grand affair to his wife.

They then went their separate ways. Amelia and Booth, having arrived at their place, embraced each other; and that evening, on the doctor's advice, Booth didn’t say a word about the big event to his wife.










Chapter viii. — Thus this history draws nearer to a conclusion.

In the morning early Amelia received the following letter from Mrs. Atkinson:

In the early morning, Amelia received the following letter from Mrs. Atkinson:

“The surgeon of the regiment, to which the captain my husband lately belonged, and who came this evening to see the captain, hath almost frightened me out of my wits by a strange story of your husband being committed to prison by a justice of peace for forgery. For Heaven’s sake send me the truth. If my husband can be of any service, weak as he is, he will be carried in a chair to serve a brother officer for whom he hath a regard, which I need not mention. Or if the sum of twenty pound will be of any service to you, I will wait upon you with it the moment I can get my cloaths on, the morning you receive this; for it is too late to send to-night. The captain begs his hearty service and respects, and believe me,

“The surgeon of the regiment that my husband, the captain, was recently part of came by this evening to visit him and nearly scared me half to death with a strange story about your husband being thrown in jail by a justice of the peace for forgery. Please, for heaven’s sake, send me the truth. If my husband can help in any way, despite how weak he is, he can be carried in a chair to assist a fellow officer he cares about, which I won’t need to name. Or if twenty pounds would be of any help to you, I’ll come by with it as soon as I can get dressed the morning you get this; it’s too late to send anything tonight. The captain sends his warm regards and respect, and believe me,

      “Dear Madam,
          Your ever affectionate friend,
             and humble servant,
                F. ATKINSON.”
 
      “Dear Madam,  
          Your always caring friend,  
             and humble servant,  
                F. ATKINSON.”

When Amelia read this letter to Booth they were both equally surprized, she at the commitment for forgery, and he at seeing such a letter from Mrs. Atkinson; for he was a stranger yet to the reconciliation that had happened.

When Amelia read this letter to Booth, they were both equally surprised, she at the charge of forgery, and he at seeing such a letter from Mrs. Atkinson; because he was still unaware of the reconciliation that had occurred.

Booth’s doubts were first satisfied by Amelia, from which he received great pleasure; for he really had a very great affection and fondness for Mr. Atkinson, who, indeed, so well deserved it. “Well, my dear,” said he to Amelia, smiling, “shall we accept this generous offer?”

Booth’s doubts were first eased by Amelia, which brought him great joy; he had a deep affection and fondness for Mr. Atkinson, who truly deserved it. “Well, my dear,” he said to Amelia with a smile, “should we accept this generous offer?”

“O fy! no, certainly,” answered she.

“O my goodness! No way,” she replied.

“Why not?” cries Booth; “it is but a trifle; and yet it will be of great service to us.”

“Why not?” Booth exclaims; “it’s just a small thing, but it will be really helpful for us.”

“But consider, my dear,” said she, “how ill these poor people can spare it.”

“Think about it, my dear,” she said, “how badly these poor people can afford it.”

“They can spare it for a little while,” said Booth, “and we shall soon pay it them again.”

“They can hold on for a little while,” Booth said, “and we’ll pay them back soon.”

“When, my dear?” said Amelia. “Do, my dear Will, consider our wretched circumstances. I beg you let us go into the country immediately, and live upon bread and water till Fortune pleases to smile upon us.”

“When, my dear?” said Amelia. “Please, my dear Will, think about our awful situation. I urge you to let’s go to the countryside right away and live on bread and water until luck decides to smile on us.”

“I am convinced that day is not far off,” said Booth. “However, give me leave to send an answer to Mrs. Atkinson, that we shall be glad of her company immediately to breakfast.”

“I’m sure that day isn’t far away,” Booth said. “But please let me send an answer to Mrs. Atkinson, letting her know that we would be happy to have her join us for breakfast right away.”

“You know I never contradict you,” said she, “but I assure you it is contrary to my inclinations to take this money.”

“You know I never go against what you say,” she replied, “but I promise you it's against my will to take this money.”

“Well, suffer me,” cries he, “to act this once contrary to your inclinations.” He then writ a short note to Mrs. Atkinson, and dispatched it away immediately; which when he had done, Amelia said, “I shall be glad of Mrs. Atkinson’s company to breakfast; but yet I wish you would oblige me in refusing this money. Take five guineas only. That is indeed such a sum as, if we never should pay it, would sit light on my mind. The last persons in the world from whom I would receive favours of that sort are the poor and generous.”

“Well, allow me,” he says, “to do this just once against your wishes.” He then wrote a short note to Mrs. Atkinson and sent it off right away; after doing that, Amelia said, “I would love for Mrs. Atkinson to join us for breakfast, but I still wish you would help me by refusing this money. Just take five guineas. That's a small amount that, even if we never paid it back, wouldn’t weigh on my conscience. The last people in the world I would accept favors like this from are the poor and generous.”

“You can receive favours only from the generous,” cries Booth; “and, to be plain with you, there are very few who are generous that are not poor.”

“You can only get favors from generous people,” Booth says. “And to be honest with you, there are very few generous people who aren't poor.”

“What think you,” said she, “of Dr Harrison?”

“What do you think,” she said, “about Dr. Harrison?”

“I do assure you,” said Booth, “he is far from being rich. The doctor hath an income of little more than six hundred pound a-year, and I am convinced he gives away four of it. Indeed, he is one of the best economists in the world: but yet I am positive he never was at any time possessed of five hundred pound, since he hath been a man. Consider, dear Emily, the late obligations we have to this gentleman; it would be unreasonable to expect more, at least at present; my half-pay is mortgaged for a year to come. How then shall we live?”

“I assure you,” Booth said, “he’s definitely not rich. The doctor has an income of just over six hundred pounds a year, and I’m convinced he donates four of that. In fact, he’s one of the best budgeters around: but I’m certain he’s never had more than five hundred pounds since he became an adult. Think about, dear Emily, our recent debts to this gentleman; it would be unfair to expect more, at least for now; my half-pay is tied up for the next year. So how are we supposed to live?”

“By our labour,” answered she; “I am able to labour, and I am sure I am not ashamed of it.”

“By our hard work,” she replied; “I am capable of working, and I know I’m not ashamed of it.”

“And do you really think you can support such a life?”

“And do you really think you can handle that kind of life?”

“I am sure I could be happy in it,” answered Amelia. “And why not I as well as a thousand others, who have not the happiness of such a husband to make life delicious? why should I complain of my hard fate while so many who are much poorer than I enjoy theirs? Am I of a superior rank of being to the wife of the honest labourer? am I not partaker of one common nature with her?”

“I’m sure I could be happy in it,” Amelia replied. “And why can’t I be just as happy as a thousand others who don’t have the joy of such a husband to make life wonderful? Why should I complain about my tough luck when so many who are much worse off than I am enjoying their lives? Am I somehow better than the wife of the honest worker? Am I not sharing the same human experience as her?”

“My angel,” cries Booth, “it delights me to hear you talk thus, and for a reason you little guess; for I am assured that one who can so heroically endure adversity, will bear prosperity with equal greatness of soul; for the mind that cannot be dejected by the former, is not likely to be transported with the latter.”

“My angel,” Booth exclaims, “it makes me so happy to hear you speak like this, and for a reason you probably don’t realize; I’m sure that someone who can face tough times with such strength will handle success with the same grace; because a mind that can’t be brought down by hardship is unlikely to be overly carried away by good fortune.”

“If it had pleased Heaven,” cried she, “to have tried me, I think, at least I hope, I should have preserved my humility.”

“If it had pleased Heaven,” she exclaimed, “to test me, I believe, or at least I hope, I would have kept my humility.”

“Then, my dear,” said he, “I will relate you a dream I had last night. You know you lately mentioned a dream of yours.”

“Then, my dear,” he said, “I’ll tell you about a dream I had last night. You remember you recently talked about a dream of yours.”

“Do so,” said she; “I am attentive.”

“Go ahead,” she said; “I’m listening.”

“I dreamt,” said he, “this night, that we were in the most miserable situation imaginable; indeed, in the situation we were yesterday morning, or rather worse; that I was laid in a prison for debt, and that you wanted a morsel of bread to feed the mouths of your hungry children. At length (for nothing you know is quicker than the transition in dreams) Dr Harrison methought came to me, with chearfulness and joy in his countenance. The prison-doors immediately flew open, and Dr Harrison introduced you, gayly though not richly dressed. That you gently chid me for staying so long. All on a sudden appeared a coach with four horses to it, in which was a maid-servant with our two children. We both immediately went into the coach, and, taking our leave of the doctor, set out towards your country-house; for yours I dreamt it was. I only ask you now, if this was real, and the transition almost as sudden, could you support it?”

“I had a dream,” he said, “last night that we were in the worst situation imaginable; in fact, it was the same situation we were in yesterday morning, or maybe even worse. I was stuck in a debtor's prison, and you were looking for a bit of bread to feed our hungry kids. Then, (because transitions in dreams happen so quickly) Dr. Harrison appeared to me, looking cheerful and happy. The prison doors instantly swung open, and Dr. Harrison brought you in, dressed neatly but not extravagantly. You gently scolded me for taking so long. Suddenly, a coach with four horses showed up, and inside were a maid and our two kids. We both immediately got into the coach, said our goodbyes to the doctor, and set off toward your country house, which is what I dreamt it was. I just want to know, if this were real, and the transition was almost as sudden, could you handle it?”

Amelia was going to answer, when Mrs. Atkinson came into the room, and after very little previous ceremony, presented Booth with a bank-note, which he received of her, saying he would very soon repay it; a promise that a little offended Amelia, as she thought he had no chance of keeping it.

Amelia was about to respond when Mrs. Atkinson walked into the room and, without much formality, handed Booth a banknote. He took it from her, saying he would pay her back very soon; a promise that slightly annoyed Amelia, as she believed he had no chance of fulfilling it.

The doctor presently arrived, and the company sat down to breakfast, during which Mrs. Atkinson entertained them with the history of the doctors that had attended her husband, by whose advice Atkinson was recovered from everything but the weakness which his distemper had occasioned.

The doctor arrived, and everyone sat down for breakfast, during which Mrs. Atkinson shared the story of the doctors who had treated her husband. Their advice helped Atkinson recover from everything except for the weakness caused by his illness.

When the tea-table was removed Booth told the doctor that he had acquainted his wife with a dream he had last night. “I dreamt, doctor,” said he, “that she was restored to her estate.”

When the tea table was taken away, Booth told the doctor that he had shared a dream he had the night before with his wife. “I dreamt, doctor,” he said, “that she was brought back to her estate.”

“Very well,” said the doctor; “and if I am to be the Oneiropolus, I believe the dream will come to pass. To say the truth, I have rather a better opinion of dreams than Horace had. Old Homer says they come from Jupiter; and as to your dream, I have often had it in my waking thoughts, that some time or other that roguery (for so I was always convinced it was) would be brought to light; for the same Homer says, as you, madam (meaning Mrs. Atkinson), very well know,

“Alright,” said the doctor, “and if I’m going to be the Oneiropolus, I really think the dream will come true. Honestly, I have a much more favorable view of dreams than Horace did. Old Homer says they come from Jupiter; and regarding your dream, I’ve often thought while awake that eventually that trickery (which I’ve always believed it to be) would be revealed; because the same Homer says, as you, madam (meaning Mrs. Atkinson), very well know,

{Greek verses}

{Greek verses}

{Footnote: “If Jupiter doth not immediately execute his vengeance, he will however execute it at last; and their transgressions shall fall heavily on their own heads, and on their wives and children."}

{Footnote: “If Jupiter doesn't immediately take action against them, he will eventually do so; their wrongdoings will come back to haunt them, affecting both them and their wives and children."}

“I have no Greek ears, sir,” said Mrs. Atkinson. “I believe I could understand it in the Delphin Homer.”

“I don’t have a knack for Greek, sir,” said Mrs. Atkinson. “I think I could get it from the Delphin Homer.”

“I wish,” cries he, “my dear child (to Amelia), you would read a little in the Delphin Aristotle, or else in some Christian divine, to learn a doctrine which you will one day have a use for. I mean to bear the hardest of all human conflicts, and support with an even temper, and without any violent transports of mind, a sudden gust of prosperity.”

“I wish,” he cries, “my dear child (to Amelia), you would read a bit from the Delphin Aristotle, or from some Christian theologian, to learn a doctrine that you’ll find useful one day. I mean to endure the toughest of all human struggles and to handle a sudden wave of good fortune with calmness and without any extreme emotional outbursts.”

“Indeed,” cries Amelia, “I should almost think my husband and you, doctor, had some very good news to tell me, by your using, both of you, the same introduction. As far as I know myself, I think I can answer I can support any degree of prosperity, and I think I yesterday shewed I could: for I do assure you, it is not in the power of fortune to try me with such another transition from grief to joy, as I conceived from seeing my husband in prison and at liberty.”

“Honestly,” Amelia exclaims, “I almost think my husband and you, doctor, have some really good news to share with me, given that you both use the same introduction. As far as I know myself, I believe I can handle any level of prosperity, and I think I showed that yesterday: I can assure you, it’s beyond fortune to put me through another shift from grief to joy like the one I experienced when I saw my husband in prison and then free.”

“Well, you are a good girl,” cries the doctor, “and after I have put on my spectacles I will try you.”

“Well, you are a good girl,” the doctor exclaims, “and after I put on my glasses, I’ll give you a try.”

The doctor then took out a newspaper, and read as follows:

The doctor then pulled out a newspaper and read the following:

“‘Yesterday one Murphy, an eminent attorney-at-law, was committed to Newgate for the forgery of a will under which an estate hath been for many years detained from the right owner.’

“‘Yesterday, a well-known lawyer named Murphy was sent to Newgate for forging a will that has kept an estate away from its rightful owner for many years.’”

“Now in this paragraph there is something very remarkable, and that is—that it is true: but opus est explanatu. In the Delphin edition of this newspaper there is the following note upon the words right owner:—‘The right owner of this estate is a young lady of the highest merit, whose maiden name was Harris, and who some time since was married to an idle fellow, one Lieutenant Booth. And the best historians assure us that letters from the elder sister of this lady, which manifestly prove the forgery and clear up the whole affair, are in the hands of an old Parson called Doctor Harrison.’”

“Now in this paragraph, there’s something very notable, and that is—that it’s true: but opus est explanatu. In the Delphin edition of this newspaper, there’s the following note on the words right owner:—‘The rightful owner of this estate is a young lady of the highest merit, whose maiden name was Harris, and who some time ago married an idle guy, one Lieutenant Booth. And the best historians confirm that letters from the elder sister of this lady, which clearly prove the forgery and clarify the whole situation, are in the possession of an old Parson named Doctor Harrison.’”

“And is this really true?” cries Amelia.

“And is this really true?” Amelia cries.

“Yes, really and sincerely,” cries the doctor. “The whole estate; for your mother left it you all, and is as surely yours as if you was already in possession.”

“Yes, really and sincerely,” the doctor exclaims. “The entire estate; your mother left it to all of you, and it is as definitely yours as if you were already in possession.”

“Gracious Heaven!” cries she, falling on her knees, “I thank you!” And then starting up, she ran to her husband, and, embracing him, cried, “My dear love, I wish you joy; and I ought in gratitude to wish it you; for you are the cause of mine. It is upon yours and my children’s account that I principally rejoice.”

“Thank you so much!” she exclaimed, dropping to her knees. Then, jumping up, she rushed to her husband, embraced him, and said, “My dear love, I’m so happy for you; I should be grateful to wish you well, since you’re the reason for my happiness. I mainly rejoice because of you and our children.”

Mrs. Atkinson rose from her chair, and jumped about the room for joy, repeating,

Mrs. Atkinson got up from her chair and bounced around the room with joy, repeating,

      Turne, quod oplanti divum promittere nemo
         Auderet, volvenda dies, en, attulit ultro.
Look, no one dared to promise the gods anything, but here comes the day we've been waiting for.

{Footnote: “What none of all the Gods could grant thy vows, That, Turnus, this auspicious day bestows."}

{Footnote: “What none of the Gods could fulfill for you, Turnus, this lucky day grants."}

Amelia now threw herself into a chair, complained she was a little faint, and begged a glass of water. The doctor advised her to be blooded; but she refused, saying she required a vent of another kind. She then desired her children to be brought to her, whom she immediately caught in her arms, and, having profusely cried over them for several minutes, declared she was easy. After which she soon regained her usual temper and complexion.

Amelia sank into a chair, said she felt a bit faint, and asked for a glass of water. The doctor suggested she should be bled; but she declined, stating she needed a different kind of release. She then asked for her children to be brought to her, and as soon as they were, she pulled them into her arms and cried over them for several minutes before saying she felt better. After that, she quickly got back to her usual self and color.

That day they dined together, and in the afternoon they all, except the doctor, visited Captain Atkinson; he repaired to the bailiff’s house to visit the sick man, whom he found very chearful, the surgeon having assured him that he was in no danger.

That day they had dinner together, and in the afternoon, everyone except the doctor went to visit Captain Atkinson; he went to the bailiff’s house to see the sick man, who he found to be quite cheerful, as the surgeon had assured him that he was not in any danger.

The doctor had a long spiritual discourse with Robinson, who assured him that he sincerely repented of his past life, that he was resolved to lead his future days in a different manner, and to make what amends he could for his sins to the society, by bringing one of the greatest rogues in it to justice. There was a circumstance which much pleased the doctor, and made him conclude that, however Robinson had been corrupted by his old master, he had naturally a good disposition. This was, that Robinson declared he was chiefly induced to the discovery by what had happened at the pawnbroker’s, and by the miseries which he there perceived he had been instrumental in bringing on Booth and his family.

The doctor had a lengthy spiritual conversation with Robinson, who promised him that he truly regretted his past life and was determined to live differently in the future. He wanted to make amends for his sins to society by bringing one of the biggest criminals to justice. One thing that greatly pleased the doctor and led him to believe that, despite being corrupted by his former master, Robinson had a fundamentally good nature was that Robinson explained he was mainly motivated to come forward because of what happened at the pawnbroker's and the suffering he realized he had caused Booth and his family.

The next day Booth and his wife, at the doctor’s instance, dined with Colonel James and his lady, where they were received with great civility, and all matters were accommodated without Booth ever knowing a syllable of the challenge even to this day.

The next day, Booth and his wife, at the doctor's suggestion, had dinner with Colonel James and his wife, where they were welcomed with great politeness, and everything was settled without Booth ever having a clue about the challenge, even to this day.

The doctor insisted very strongly on having Miss Harris taken into custody, and said, if she was his sister, he would deliver her to justice. He added besides, that it was impossible to skreen her and carry on the prosecution, or, indeed, recover the estate. Amelia at last begged the delay of one day only, in which time she wrote a letter to her sister, informing her of the discovery, and the danger in which she stood, and begged her earnestly to make her escape, with many assurances that she would never suffer her to know any distress. This letter she sent away express, and it had the desired effect; for Miss Harris, having received sufficient information from the attorney to the same purpose, immediately set out for Poole, and from thence to France, carrying with her all her money, most of her cloaths, and some few jewels. She had, indeed, packed up plate and jewels to the value of two thousand pound and upwards. But Booth, to whom Amelia communicated the letter, prevented her by ordering the man that went with the express (who had been a serjeant of the foot-guards recommended to him by Atkinson) to suffer the lady to go whither she pleased, but not to take anything with her except her cloaths, which he was carefully to search. These orders were obeyed punctually, and with these she was obliged to comply.

The doctor strongly insisted on having Miss Harris taken into custody, saying that if she were his sister, he would turn her in. He added that it was impossible to protect her and continue the prosecution, or even recover the estate. Amelia finally begged for just one more day, during which she wrote a letter to her sister, informing her of the discovery and the danger she was in, and urgently asked her to escape, assuring her that she would never let her suffer. She sent the letter by express mail, and it had the desired effect; for Miss Harris, having received similar information from the attorney, immediately set out for Poole, and then to France, taking all her money, most of her clothes, and a few jewels with her. She had actually packed up silver and jewels worth over two thousand pounds. However, Booth, to whom Amelia shared the letter, stopped her by instructing the man who went with the express (a sergeant from the foot guards recommended by Atkinson) to let the lady go wherever she pleased, but not to take anything with her except for her clothes, which he was to search thoroughly. These instructions were followed exactly, and she had no choice but to comply.

Two days after the bird was flown a warrant from the lord chief justice arrived to take her up, the messenger of which returned with the news of her flight, highly to the satisfaction of Amelia, and consequently of Booth, and, indeed, not greatly to the grief of the doctor.

Two days after the bird was flown, a warrant from the chief justice arrived to take her into custody. The messenger returned with news of her escape, much to Amelia's delight, which in turn pleased Booth as well, and it didn't upset the doctor too much either.

About a week afterwards Booth and Amelia, with their children, and Captain Atkinson and his lady, all set forward together for Amelia’s house, where they arrived amidst the acclamations of all the neighbours, and every public demonstration of joy.

About a week later, Booth and Amelia, along with their kids, and Captain Atkinson and his wife, all set off together for Amelia’s house, where they arrived to cheers from all the neighbors and plenty of public displays of joy.

They found the house ready prepared to receive them by Atkinson’s friend the old serjeant, and a good dinner prepared for them by Amelia’s old nurse, who was addressed with the utmost duty by her son and daughter, most affectionately caressed by Booth and his wife, and by Amelia’s absolute command seated next to herself at the table. At which, perhaps, were assembled some of the best and happiest people then in the world.

They arrived at the house, which had been set up for them by Atkinson’s friend, the old sergeant, and a nice dinner was ready, thanks to Amelia’s old nurse. Her son and daughter treated her with great respect, and Booth and his wife warmly embraced her. By Amelia’s request, she was seated right next to her at the table. At that gathering, there were perhaps some of the best and happiest people in the world.










Chapter ix. — In which the history is concluded.

Having brought our history to a conclusion, as to those points in which we presume our reader was chiefly interested, in the foregoing chapter, we shall in this, by way of epilogue, endeavour to satisfy his curiosity as to what hath since happened to the principal personages of whom we have treated in the foregoing pages.

Having wrapped up our history regarding the main points we believe our reader was most interested in, in the previous chapter, we will, in this epilogue, try to satisfy their curiosity about what has happened since to the key characters we discussed in the earlier pages.

Colonel James and his lady, after living in a polite manner for many years together, at last agreed to live in as polite a manner asunder. The colonel hath kept Miss Matthews ever since, and is at length grown to doat on her (though now very disagreeable in her person, and immensely fat) to such a degree, that he submits to be treated by her in the most tyrannical manner.

Colonel James and his lady, after living together politely for many years, finally decided to live apart as politely as possible. The colonel has been with Miss Matthews ever since and has grown quite fond of her (even though she is now quite unpleasant in appearance and very overweight) to the point that he allows her to treat him in the most domineering way.

He allows his lady eight hundred pound a-year, with which she divides her time between Tunbridge, Bath, and London, and passes about nine hours in the twenty-four at cards. Her income is lately increased by three thousand pound left her by her brother Colonel Bath, who was killed in a duel about six years ago by a gentleman who told the colonel he differed from him in opinion.

He gives his wife eight hundred pounds a year, which she splits between Tunbridge, Bath, and London, spending about nine hours a day playing cards. Her income recently went up by three thousand pounds left to her by her brother Colonel Bath, who was killed in a duel about six years ago by a man who told the colonel he disagreed with him.

The noble peer and Mrs. Ellison have been both dead several years, and both of the consequences of their favourite vices; Mrs. Ellison having fallen a martyr to her liquor, and the other to his amours, by which he was at last become so rotten that he stunk above-ground.

The noble peer and Mrs. Ellison have both been dead for several years, both due to the consequences of their favorite vices; Mrs. Ellison having succumbed to her drinking, and the other to his affairs, by which he ultimately became so corrupt that he was unbearable.

The attorney, Murphy, was brought to his trial at the Old Bailey, where, after much quibbling about the meaning of a very plain act of parliament, he was at length convicted of forgery, and was soon afterwards hanged at Tyburn.

The lawyer, Murphy, was taken to his trial at the Old Bailey, where, after a lot of arguing over the meaning of a very straightforward law, he was ultimately found guilty of forgery and was soon afterward hanged at Tyburn.

The witness for some time seemed to reform his life, and received a small pension from Booth; after which he returned to vicious courses, took a purse on the highway, was detected and taken, and followed the last steps of his old master. So apt are men whose manners have been once thoroughly corrupted, to return, from any dawn of an amendment, into the dark paths of vice.

The witness seemed to turn his life around for a while and received a small pension from Booth; however, he eventually fell back into his old bad habits, robbed someone on the highway, got caught, and ended up following the same path as his former master. It’s so easy for people whose behavior has been completely corrupted to slip back into the dark ways of vice, even after a hint of improvement.

As to Miss Harris, she lived three years with a broken heart at Boulogne, where she received annually fifty pound from her sister, who was hardly prevailed on by Dr Harrison not to send her a hundred, and then died in a most miserable manner.

As for Miss Harris, she spent three years with a broken heart in Boulogne, where she received fifty pounds a year from her sister, who Dr. Harrison barely convinced not to send her a hundred, and then she died in a very sad way.

Mr. Atkinson upon the whole hath led a very happy life with his wife, though he hath been sometimes obliged to pay proper homage to her superior understanding and knowledge. This, however, he chearfully submits to, and she makes him proper returns of fondness. They have two fine boys, of whom they are equally fond. He is lately advanced to the rank of captain, and last summer both he and his wife paid a visit of three months to Booth and his wife.

Mr. Atkinson has mostly led a very happy life with his wife, although he has sometimes had to acknowledge her greater understanding and knowledge. However, he accepts this willingly, and she shows him plenty of affection in return. They have two wonderful boys, and they both care for them deeply. He was recently promoted to captain, and last summer, he and his wife spent three months visiting Booth and his wife.

Dr Harrison is grown old in years and in honour, beloved and respected by all his parishioners and by all his neighbours. He divides his time between his parish, his old town, and Booth’s—at which last place he had, two years ago, a gentle fit of the gout, being the first attack of that distemper. During this fit Amelia was his nurse, and her two oldest daughters sat up alternately with him for a whole week. The eldest of those girls, whose name is Amelia, is his favourite; she is the picture of her mother, and it is thought the doctor hath distinguished her in his will, for he hath declared that he will leave his whole fortune, except some few charities, among Amelia’s children.

Dr. Harrison has grown old in years and in reputation, loved and respected by all his parishioners and neighbors. He splits his time between his parish, his old town, and Booth’s—where he had, two years ago, a mild case of gout, marking his first encounter with that ailment. During this time, Amelia cared for him, and her two oldest daughters took turns staying up with him for an entire week. The oldest girl, also named Amelia, is his favorite; she looks just like her mother, and it's believed that the doctor has favored her in his will, as he has stated that he will leave his entire fortune, aside from a few charities, to Amelia’s children.

As to Booth and Amelia, Fortune seems to have made them large amends for the tricks she played them in their youth. They have, ever since the above period of this history, enjoyed an uninterrupted course of health and happiness. In about six weeks after Booth’s first coming into the country he went to London and paid all his debts of honour; after which, and a stay of two days only, he returned into the country, and hath never since been thirty miles from home. He hath two boys and four girls; the eldest of the boys, he who hath made his appearance in this history, is just come from the university, and is one of the finest gentlemen and best scholars of his age. The second is just going from school, and is intended for the church, that being his own choice. His eldest daughter is a woman grown, but we must not mention her age. A marriage was proposed to her the other day with a young fellow of a good estate, but she never would see him more than once: “For Doctor Harrison,” says she, “told me he was illiterate, and I am sure he is ill-natured.” The second girl is three years younger than her sister, and the others are yet children.

As for Booth and Amelia, it seems that Fortune has made up for the challenges they faced in their youth. Since that point in this story, they have enjoyed a steady life of health and happiness. About six weeks after Booth first arrived in the country, he went to London and paid all his debts; after just two days there, he returned home and hasn't been more than thirty miles away since. They have two boys and four girls. The oldest boy, who has appeared in this story, just graduated from university and is one of the finest gentlemen and best students of his age. The second boy is finishing school and wants to go into the church, as that's his personal choice. Their eldest daughter is an adult, but we won't mention her age. Recently, a marriage proposal came her way from a young man with a good estate, but she only met him once: “Doctor Harrison,” she said, “told me he is uneducated, and I’m sure he has a bad temperament.” The second girl is three years younger than her sister, and the others are still children.

Amelia is still the finest woman in England of her age. Booth himself often avers she is as handsome as ever. Nothing can equal the serenity of their lives. Amelia declared to me the other day, that she did not remember to have seen her husband out of humour these ten years; and, upon my insinuating to her that he had the best of wives, she answered with a smile that she ought to be so, for that he had made her the happiest of women.

Amelia is still the most amazing woman in England of her age. Booth himself often insists she is as beautiful as ever. Nothing can compare to the calmness of their lives. Amelia told me the other day that she couldn’t remember seeing her husband in a bad mood for the past ten years; and when I hinted to her that he had the best wife, she smiled and said she should be, since he had made her the happiest woman.

THE END.








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