This is a modern-English version of The Note-Books of Samuel Butler, originally written by Butler, Samuel. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

Scroll to the bottom of this page and you will find a free ePUB download link for this book.



The Note-Books of
Samuel Butler

Author of “Erewhon”

Author of "Erewhon"

 

Selections arranged and edited by
Henry Festing Jones

Selections curated and edited by
Henry Festing Jones

 

With photogravure portrait by Emery Walker from a
photograph taken by Alfred Cathie in 1898

With a photogravure portrait by Emery Walker from a
photo taken by Alfred Cathie in 1898

 

London
A. C. Fifield, 13 Clifford’s Inn, E.C.
1912

London
A. C. Fifield, 13 Clifford’s Inn, E.C.
1912

 

WILLIAM BRENDON AND SON, LTD., PRINTERS, PLYMOUTH

WILLIAM BRENDON AND SON, LTD., PRINTERS, PLYMOUTH

Preface

Early in his life Samuel Butler began to carry a note-book and to write down in it anything he wanted to remember; it might be something he heard some one say, more commonly it was something he said himself.  In one of these notes he gives a reason for making them:

Early in his life, Samuel Butler started carrying a notebook to jot down anything he wanted to remember; it could be something he heard someone say, but more often it was something he said himself. In one of these notes, he explains why he made them:

“One’s thoughts fly so fast that one must shoot them; it is no use trying to put salt on their tails.”

“One’s thoughts move so quickly that you have to catch them; there’s no point in trying to slow them down.”

So he bagged as many as he could hit and preserved them, re-written on loose sheets of paper which constituted a sort of museum stored with the wise, beautiful, and strange creatures that were continually winging their way across the field of his vision.  As he became a more expert marksman his collection increased and his museum grew so crowded that he wanted a catalogue.  In 1874 he started an index, and this led to his reconsidering the notes, destroying those that he remembered having used in his published books and re-writing the remainder.  The re-writing shortened some but it lengthened others and suggested so many new ones that the index was soon of little use and there seemed to be no finality about it (“Making Notes,” pp. 100–1 post).  In 1891 he attached the problem afresh and made it a rule to spend an hour every morning re-editing his notes and keeping his index up to date.  At his death, in 1902, he left five bound volumes, with the contents dated and indexed, about 225 pages of closely written sermon paper to each volume, and more than enough unbound and unindexed sheets to made a sixth volume of equal size.

So he collected as many as he could catch and saved them, rewritten on loose sheets of paper, which formed a sort of museum filled with the wise, beautiful, and strange creatures that were constantly flying across his field of vision. As he became a better marksman, his collection grew, and his museum became so crowded that he wanted a catalog. In 1874, he started an index, which led him to rethink the notes, discarding those that he remembered using in his published works and rewriting the rest. The rewriting shortened some notes but lengthened others and inspired so many new ones that the index soon became practically useless, and there seemed to be no end to it (“Making Notes,” pp. 100–1 post). In 1891, he tackled the problem again and made it a habit to spend an hour every morning re-editing his notes and keeping his index updated. At his death in 1902, he left behind five bound volumes with dated and indexed contents, about 225 pages of densely written sermon paper in each volume, and more than enough unbound and unindexed sheets to create a sixth volume of equal size.

In accordance with his own advice to a young writer (p. 363 post), he wrote the notes in copying ink and kept a pressed copy with me as a precaution against fire; but during his lifetime, unless he wanted to refer to something while he was in my chambers, I never looked at them.  After his death I took them down and went through them.  I knew in a general way what I should find, but I was not prepared for such a multitude and variety of thoughts, reflections, conversations, incidents.  There are entries about his early life at Langar, Handel, school days at Shrewsbury, Cambridge, Christianity, literature, New Zealand, sheep-farming, philosophy, painting, money, evolution, morality, Italy, speculation, photography, music, natural history, archæology, botany, religion, book-keeping, psychology, metaphysics, the Iliad, the Odyssey, Sicily, architecture, ethics, the Sonnets of Shakespeare.  I thought of publishing the books just as they stand, but too many of the entries are of no general interest and too many are of a kind that must wait if they are ever to be published.  In addition to these objections the confusion is very great.  One would look in the earlier volumes for entries about New Zealand and evolution and in the later ones for entries about the Odyssey and the Sonnets, but there is no attempt at arrangement and anywhere one may come upon something about Handel, or a philosophical reflection, between a note giving the name of the best hotel in an Italian town and another about Harry Nicholls and Herbert Campbell as the Babes in the Wood in the pantomime at the Grecian Theatre.  This confusion has a charm, but it is a charm that would not, I fear, survive in print and, personally, I find that it makes the books distracting for continuous reading.  Moreover they were not intended to be published as they stand (“Preface to Vol.  II,” p. 215 post), they were intended for his own private use as a quarry from which to take material for his writing, and it is remarkable that in practice he scarcely ever used them in this way (“These Notes,” p. 261 post).  When he had written and re-written a note and spoken it and repeated it in conversation, it became so much a part of him that, if he wanted to introduce it in a book, it was less trouble to re-state it again from memory than to search through his “precious indexes” for it and copy it (“Gadshill and Trapani,” p. 194, “At Piora,” p. 272 post).  But he could not have re-stated a note from memory if he had not learnt it by writing it, so that it may be said that he did use the notes for his books, though not precisely in the way he originally intended.  And the constant re-writing and re-considering were useful also by forcing him to settle exactly what he thought and to state it as clearly and tersely as possible.  In this way the making of the notes must have had an influence on the formation of his style—though here again he had no such idea in his mind when writing them (“Style,” pp. 186–7 post)

In line with his own advice to a young writer (p. 363 post), he wrote the notes in copying ink and kept a pressed copy with me as a precaution against fire; but during his lifetime, unless he needed to refer to something while he was in my place, I never looked at them. After he passed away, I took them down and went through them. I had a general idea of what I would find, but I wasn't prepared for the sheer number and variety of thoughts, reflections, conversations, and incidents. There are entries about his early life at Langar, Handel, school days at Shrewsbury, Cambridge, Christianity, literature, New Zealand, sheep farming, philosophy, painting, money, evolution, morality, Italy, speculation, photography, music, natural history, archaeology, botany, religion, bookkeeping, psychology, metaphysics, the Iliad, the Odyssey, Sicily, architecture, ethics, the Sonnets of Shakespeare. I considered publishing the books as they are, but too many entries lack general interest and too many are of a nature that must wait if they are ever to be published. On top of these objections, there's a lot of confusion. One would look in the earlier volumes for entries about New Zealand and evolution and in the later ones for entries about the Odyssey and the Sonnets, yet there's no attempt at organization, and you might find a note about Handel, or a philosophical reflection, wedged between a note about the best hotel in an Italian town and another about Harry Nicholls and Herbert

In one of the notes he says:

In one of the notes, he says:

“A man may make, as it were, cash entries of himself in a day-book, but the entries in the ledger and the balancing of the accounts should be done by others.”

“A man can make, so to speak, cash entries of himself in a daybook, but the entries in the ledger and the balancing of the accounts should be handled by others.”

When I began to write the Memoir of Butler on which I am still engaged, I marked all the more autobiographical notes and had them copied; again I was struck by the interest, the variety, and the confusion of those I left untouched.  It seemed to me that any one who undertook to become Butler’s accountant and to post his entries upon himself would have to settle first how many and what accounts to open in the ledger, and this could not be done until it had been settled which items were to be selected for posting.  It was the difficulty of those who dare not go into the water until after they have learnt to swim.  I doubt whether I should ever have made the plunge if it had not been for the interest which Mr. Desmond MacCarthy took in Butler and his writings.  He had occasionally browsed on my copy of the books, and when he became editor of a review, the New Quarterly, he asked for some of the notes for publication, thus providing a practical and simple way of entering upon the business without any very alarming plunge.  I talked his proposal over with Mr. R. A. Streatfeild, Butler’s literary executor, and, having obtained his approval, set to work.  From November 1907 to May 1910, inclusive, the New Quarterly published six groups of notes and the long note on “Genius” (pp. 174–8 post).  The experience gained in selecting, arranging, and editing these items has been of great use to me and I thank the proprietor and editor of the New Quarterly for permission to republish such of the notes as appeared in their review.

When I started writing the Memoir of Butler, which I'm still working on, I noted all the autobiographical sections and had them copied. Once again, I was struck by the interest, diversity, and confusion of the notes I didn’t touch. It seemed to me that anyone trying to be Butler’s accountant and track his entries would first need to decide how many and which accounts to include in the ledger, and that couldn’t happen until they chose which items to record. It was like the struggle of someone who doesn’t want to jump into the water until they've learned to swim. I doubt I would have made the leap if it hadn’t been for Mr. Desmond MacCarthy's interest in Butler and his work. He had occasionally looked through my copies of the books, and when he became the editor of a review, the New Quarterly, he asked for some of the notes to publish, which gave me a straightforward and less daunting way to start. I discussed his proposal with Mr. R. A. Streatfeild, Butler’s literary executor, and after getting his approval, I began working on it. From November 1907 to May 1910, the New Quarterly published six groups of notes and the lengthy note on “Genius” (pp. 174–8 post). The experience I gained from selecting, organizing, and editing these items has been incredibly valuable, and I appreciate the owner and editor of the New Quarterly for allowing me to republish the notes that appeared in their review.

In preparing this book I began by going through the notes again and marking all that seemed to fall within certain groups roughly indicated by the arrangement in the review.  I had these selected items copied, distributed them among those which were already in print, shuffled them and turned them over, meditating on them, familiarising myself with them and tentatively forming new groups.  While doing this I was continually gleaning from the books more notes which I had overlooked, and making such verbal alterations as seemed necessary to avoid repetition, to correct obvious errors and to remove causes of reasonable offence.  The ease with which two or more notes would condense into one was sometimes surprising, but there were cases in which the language had to be varied and others in which a few words had to be added to bridge over a gap; as a rule, however, the necessary words were lying ready in some other note.  I also reconsidered the titles and provided titles for many notes which had none.  In making these verbal alterations I bore in mind Butler’s own views on the subject which I found in a note about editing letters:

In preparing this book, I started by reviewing the notes again and highlighting everything that seemed to fit into certain categories loosely defined by the structure in the review. I had these selected pieces copied, distributed them among those that were already published, mixed them up, and reflected on them, getting familiar with the material and gradually forming new groups. During this process, I continually discovered additional notes from the books that I had missed and made necessary changes to enhance clarity, correct obvious mistakes, and eliminate reasonable offenses. The ease with which two or more notes could combine into one was sometimes surprising, but there were instances where the wording needed to be changed and others where a few words had to be added to bridge a gap; generally, the required words were readily available in other notes. I also reconsidered the titles and assigned titles to many notes that didn't have one. While making these changes, I kept Butler's own thoughts on editing in mind, which I found in a note about editing letters:

“Granted that an editor, like a translator, should keep as religiously close to the original text as he reasonably can, and, in every alteration, should consider what the writer would have wished and done if he or she could have been consulted, yet, subject to these limitations, he should be free to alter according to his discretion or indiscretion.”

“Sure, an editor, just like a translator, should stick as closely to the original text as they reasonably can, and in every change, they should think about what the writer would have wanted and done if they could have been asked. However, within these limits, they should be free to make changes at their own discretion or lack of discretion.”

My “discretion or indiscretion” was less seriously strained in making textual changes than in determining how many, and what, groups to have and which notes, in what order, to include in each group.  Here is a note Butler made about classification:

My "discretion or indiscretion" was less tested when it came to making text changes than in deciding how many groups to have, what those groups would be, and which notes to include in each group and in what order. Here is a note Butler made about classification:

“Fighting about words is like fighting about accounts, and all classification is like accounts.  Sometimes it is easy to see which way the balance of convenience lies, sometimes it is very hard to know whether an item should be carried to one account or to another.”

“Arguing over words is like arguing over numbers, and all classifications are like numbers. Sometimes it’s clear which way the balance of convenience tips, but sometimes it’s really difficult to decide if an item should go in one category or another.”

Except in the group headed “Higgledy-Piggledy,” I have endeavoured to post each note to a suitable account, but some of Butler’s leading ideas, expressed in different forms, will be found posted to more than one account, and this kind of repetition is in accordance with his habit in conversation.  It would probably be correct to say that I have heard him speak the substance of every note many times in different contexts.  In seeking for the most characteristic context, I have shifted and shifted the notes and considered and re-considered them under different aspects, taking hints from the delicate chameleon changes of significance that came over them as they harmonised or discorded with their new surroundings.  Presently I caught myself restoring notes to positions they had previously occupied instead of finding new places for them, and the increasing frequency with which difficulties were solved by these restorations at last forced me to the conclusion, which I accepted only with very great regret, that my labours were at an end.

Except for the group labeled “Higgledy-Piggledy,” I’ve tried to categorize each note into the right account, but some of Butler’s main ideas, expressed in various forms, are listed under more than one account, and this kind of repetition reflects his conversational style. It’s probably accurate to say I’ve heard him communicate the essence of every note many times in different situations. In my search for the most representative context, I moved the notes around and thought about them repeatedly from different perspectives, picking up on the subtle, changing meanings that emerged as they either fit or clashed with their new contexts. Eventually, I realized I was putting notes back into places they’d occupied before instead of finding new spots for them, and the growing frequency of these restorations eventually led me to the conclusion, which I accepted with a great deal of reluctance, that my work was complete.

I do not expect every one to approve of the result.  If I had been trying to please every one, I should have made only a very short and unrepresentative selection which Mr. Fifield would have refused to publish.  I have tried to make suck a book as I believe would have pleased Butler.  That is to say, I have tried to please one who, by reason of his intimate knowledge of the subject and of the difficulties, would have looked with indulgence upon the many mistakes which it is now too late to correct, even if knew how to correct them.  Had it been possible for him to see what I have done, he would have detected all my sins, both of omission and of commission, and I like to imagine that he would have used some such consoling words as these: “Well, never mind; one cannot have everything; and, after all, ‘Le mieux est l’ennemi du bien.’”

I don’t expect everyone to like the outcome. If I had aimed to please everyone, I would have created a very brief and unrepresentative selection that Mr. Fifield would have refused to publish. I’ve tried to create a book that I believe Butler would have appreciated. In other words, I’ve aimed to satisfy someone who, due to his deep understanding of the subject and its challenges, would have been lenient about the many mistakes I can no longer fix, even if I knew how. If he could see what I’ve done, he would have pointed out all my flaws, both what I left out and what I included, and I like to imagine he would have offered some comforting words like this: “Well, never mind; you can’t have it all; and, after all, 'Le mieux est l’ennemi du bien.'”

Here will be found much of what he used to say as he talked with one or two intimate friends in his own chambers or in mine at the close of the day, or on a Sunday walk in the country round London, or as we wandered together through Italy and Sicily; and I would it were possible to charge these pages with some echo of his voice and with some reflection of his manner.  But, again; one cannot have everything.

Here is where you’ll find a lot of what he used to say while chatting with a couple of close friends in his own place or in mine at the end of the day, on a Sunday stroll in the countryside around London, or as we explored Italy and Sicily together; I wish it were possible to capture some of his voice and a bit of his style in these pages. But, once again, you can’t have it all.

“Men’s work we have,” quoth one, “but we want them—
Them palpable to touch and clear to view.”
Is it so nothing, then, to have the gem
But we must cry to have the setting too?

“Men’s work we have,” said one, “but we want them—
Them tangible to touch and clear to see.”
Is it really nothing, then, to have the gem
But we have to demand the setting too?

In the New Quarterly each note was headed with a reference to its place in the Note-Books.  This has not been done here because, on consideration, it seemed useless, and even irritating, to keep on putting before the reader references which he could not verify.  I intend to give to the British Museum a copy of this volume wherein each note will show where the material of which it is composed can be found; thus, if the original Note-Books are also some day given to the Museum, any one sufficiently interested will be able to see exactly what I have done in selecting, omitting, editing, condensing and classifying.

In the New Quarterly, each note had a reference to its location in the Note-Books. I haven't done that here because it seemed pointless and even frustrating to keep presenting references that readers couldn't verify. I plan to give the British Museum a copy of this volume where each note will show where the material it contains can be found. This way, if the original Note-Books are ever given to the Museum, anyone who's interested will be able to see exactly what I've done in terms of selecting, omitting, editing, condensing, and classifying.

Some items are included that are not actually in the Note-Books; the longest of these are the two New Zealand articles “Darwin among the Machines” and “Lucubratio Ebria” as to which something is said in the Prefatory Note to “The Germs of Erewhon and of Life and Habit” (pp. 39–42 post).  In that Prefatory Note a Dialogue on Species by Butler and an autograph letter from Charles Darwin are mentioned.  Since the note was in type I have received from New Zealand a copy of the Weekly Press of 19th June, 1912, containing the Dialogue again reprinted and a facsimile reproduction of Darwin’s letter.  I thank Mr. W. H. Triggs, the present editor of the Press, Christchurch, New Zealand, also Miss Colborne-Veel and the members of the staff for their industry and perseverance in searching for and identifying Butler’s early contributions to the newspaper.

Some items are included that aren't actually in the Note-Books; the longest of these are the two New Zealand articles "Darwin among the Machines" and "Lucubratio Ebria," about which something is said in the Prefatory Note to “The Germs of Erewhon and of Life and Habit” (pp. 39–42 post). In that Prefatory Note, a Dialogue on Species by Butler and an autograph letter from Charles Darwin are mentioned. Since the note was in print, I've received a copy of the Weekly Press from New Zealand, dated June 19, 1912, featuring the Dialogue reprinted and a facsimile of Darwin’s letter. I thank Mr. W. H. Triggs, the current editor of the Press in Christchurch, New Zealand, as well as Miss Colborne-Veel and the staff for their hard work and determination in finding and recognizing Butler’s early contributions to the newspaper.

The other principal items not actually in the Note-Books, the letter to T. W. G. Butler (pp. 53–5 post), “A Psalm of Montreal” (pp. 388–9 post) and “The Righteous Man” (pp. 390–1 post).  I suppose Butler kept all these out of his notes because he considered that they had served their purpose; but they have not hitherto appeared in a form now accessible to the general reader.

The other main items not included in the Note-Books are the letter to T. W. G. Butler (pp. 53–5 post), “A Psalm of Montreal” (pp. 388–9 post), and “The Righteous Man” (pp. 390–1 post). I guess Butler left these out of his notes because he thought they had fulfilled their purpose, but they haven't been available in a format that general readers can access until now.

All the footnotes are mine and so are all those prefatory notes which are printed in italics and the explanatory remarks in square brackets which occur occasionally in the text.  I have also preserved, in square brackets, the date of a note when anything seemed to turn on it.  And I have made the index.

All the footnotes are mine, as well as all the intro notes that are italicized and the explanatory comments in square brackets that show up sometimes in the text. I've also kept, in square brackets, the date of a note whenever it seemed important. And I created the index.

The Biographical Statement is founded on a skeleton Diary which is in the Note-Books.  It is intended to show, among other things, how intimately the great variety of subjects touched upon in the notes entered into and formed part of Butler’s working life.  It does not stop at the 18th of June, 1902, because, as he says (p. 23 post), “Death is not more the end of some than it is the beginning of others”; and, again (p. 13 post), for those who come to the true birth the life we live beyond the grave is our truest life.  The Biographical Statement has accordingly been carried on to the present time so as to include the principal events that have occurred during the opening period of the “good average three-score years and ten of immortality” which he modestly hoped he might inherit in the life of the world to come.

The Biographical Statement is based on a basic Diary found in the Note-Books. Its purpose is to illustrate, among other things, how closely the wide range of topics mentioned in the notes are intertwined with and shaped Butler’s working life. It doesn’t end on June 18, 1902, because, as he states (p. 23 post), “Death is not more the end of some than it is the beginning of others”; and again (p. 13 post), for those who experience true rebirth, the life we live beyond the grave is our most authentic existence. The Biographical Statement has thus been extended to include significant events up to the present time, highlighting the main occurrences during the initial stretch of the “good average three-score years and ten of immortality” that he modestly hoped to inherit in the life to come.

Henry Festing Jones.

Henry Festing Jones.

Mount Eryx,
      Trapani, Sicily,
         August, 1912.

Mount Eryx,
      Trapani, Sicily,
         August, 1912.

Contents

 

 

PAGE

PAGE

 

Biographical Statement

Bio Statement

I.

I.

Lord, What is Man?

God, What is Man?

II.

II.

Elementary Morality

Basic Ethics

III.

III.

The Germs of Erewhon and of Life and Habit

The Seeds of Erewhon and Life and Habit

IV.

IV.

Memory and Design

Memory and Design

V.

V.

Vibrations

Vibes

VI.

VI.

Mind and Matter

Mind and Matter

VII.

VII.

On the Making of Music, Pictures and Books

On the Creation of Music, Images, and Books

VIII.

VIII.

Handel and Music

Handel and Music

IX.

IX.

A Painter’s Views on Painting

A Painter’s Perspective on Painting

X.

X.

The Position of a Homo Unius Libri

The Position of a One-Book Person

XI.

XI.

Cash and Credit

Cash and Cards

XII.

XII.

The Enfant Terrible of Literature

The Bad Boy of Literature

XIII.

XIII.

Unprofessional Sermons

Unprofessional Talks

XIV.

XIV.

Higgledy-Piggledy

Haphazard

XV.

XV.

Titles and Subjects

Titles and Topics

XVI.

XVI.

Written Sketches

Written Notes

XVII.

XVII.

Material for a Projected Sequel to Alps and Sanctuaries

Material for a Planned Sequel to Alps and Sanctuaries

XVIII.

XVIII.

Material for Erewhon Revisited

Material for Erewhon Revisited

XIX.

XIX.

Truth and Convenience

Truth and Convenience

XX.

XX.

First Principles

First Principles

XXI.

XXI.

Rebelliousness

Rebellion

XXII.

XXII.

Reconciliation

Making amends

XXIII.

XXIII.

Death

Death

XXIV.

XXIV.

The Life of the World to Come

The Life of the World to Come

XXV.

XXV.

Poems

Poems

p. 1Biographical Statement

1835.

1835.

Dec. 4.  Samuel Butler born at Langar Rectory, Nottingham, son of the Rev. Thomas Butler, who was the son of Dr. Samuel Butler, Headmaster of Shrewsbury School from 1798 to 1836, and afterwards Bishop of Lichfield.

Dec. 4. Samuel Butler was born at Langar Rectory, Nottingham, the son of Rev. Thomas Butler, who was the son of Dr. Samuel Butler, Headmaster of Shrewsbury School from 1798 to 1836, and later Bishop of Lichfield.

1843–4.

1843–1844.

Spent the winter in Rome and Naples with his family.

Spent the winter in Rome and Naples with his family.

1846.

1846.

Went to school at Allesley, near Coventry.

Went to school at Allesley, close to Coventry.

1848.

1848.

Went to school at Shrewsbury under Dr. Kennedy.

Went to school at Shrewsbury with Dr. Kennedy.

 

Went to Italy for the second time with his family.

Went to Italy for the second time with his family.

 

First heard the music of Handel.

First heard the music of Handel.

1854.

1854.

Entered at St. John’s College, Cambridge.

Entered at St. John's College, Cambridge.

1858.

1858.

Bracketed 12th in the first class of the Classical Tripos and took his degree.

Bracketed 12th in the first class of the Classical Tripos and earned his degree.

 

Went to London and began to prepare for ordination, living among the poor and doing parish work: this led to his doubting the efficacy of infant baptism and hence to his declining to take orders.

Went to London and started preparing for ordination, living among the poor and doing community work: this made him doubt the effectiveness of infant baptism and led to his decision not to take orders.

1859.

1859.

Sailed for New Zealand and started sheep-farming in Canterbury Province: while in the colony he wrote much for the Press of Christchurch, N.Z.

Sailed to New Zealand and began sheep farming in Canterbury Province; while in the colony, he wrote extensively for the Press of Christchurch, N.Z.

1862.

1862.

Dec. 20.  “Darwin on The Origin of Species.  A Dialogue,” unsigned but written by Butler, appeared in the Press and was followed by correspondence to which Butler contributed.

Dec. 20. “Darwin on The Origin of Species. A Dialogue,” unsigned but written by Butler, appeared in the Press and was followed by correspondence to which Butler contributed.

1863.

1863.

A First Year in Canterbury Settlement: made out of his letters home to his family together with two articles reprinted from the Eagle (the magazine of St. John’s College, Cambridge): MS. lost.

A First Year in Canterbury Settlement: compiled from his letters home to his family along with two articles reprinted from the Eagle (the magazine of St. John’s College, Cambridge): MS. lost.

1863.

1863.

“Darwin among the Machines,” a letter signed “Cellarius” written by Butler, appeared in the Press.

“Darwin among the Machines,” a letter signed “Cellarius” written by Butler, appeared in the Press.

1864.

1864.

Sold out his sheep run and returned to England in company with Charles Paine Pauli, whose acquaintance he had made in the colony.  He brought back enough to enable him to live quietly, settled for good at 15 Clifford’s Inn, London, and began life as a painter, studying at Cary’s, Heatherley’s and the South Kensington Art Schools and exhibiting pictures occasionally at the Royal Academy and other exhibitions: while studying art he made the acquaintance of, among others, Charles Gogin, William Ballard and Thomas William Gale Butler.

Sold his sheep property and returned to England with Charles Paine Pauli, whom he had met in the colony. He brought back enough money to live comfortably, settled permanently at 15 Clifford’s Inn, London, and started his career as a painter, studying at Cary’s, Heatherley’s, and the South Kensington Art Schools. He occasionally exhibited his paintings at the Royal Academy and other exhibitions. While studying art, he got to know several people, including Charles Gogin, William Ballard, and Thomas William Gale Butler.

 

“Family Prayers”: a small painting by Butler.

“Family Prayers”: a small painting by Butler.

1865.

1865.

“Lucubratio Ebria,” an article, containing variations of the view in “Darwin among the Machines,” sent by Butler from England, appeared in the Press.

“Lucubratio Ebria,” an article containing variations of the view in “Darwin among the Machines,” sent by Butler from England, appeared in the Press.

 

The Evidence for the Resurrection of Jesus Christ as contained in the Four Evangelists critically examined: a pamphlet of VIII+48 pp. written in New Zealand: the conclusion arrived at is that the evidence is insufficient to support the belief that Christ died and rose from the dead: MS. lost, probably used up in writing The Fair Haven.

The Evidence for the Resurrection of Jesus Christ as contained in the Four Evangelists critically examined: a pamphlet of VIII+48 pages written in New Zealand. The conclusion reached is that the evidence is not enough to support the belief that Christ died and rose from the dead. Manuscript lost, likely used up while writing The Fair Haven.

1869–70.

1869–70.

Was in Italy for four months, his health having broken down in consequence of over-work.

Was in Italy for four months, his health having deteriorated due to overwork.

1870 or 1871.

1870 or 1871.

First meeting with Miss Eliza Mary Ann Savage, from whom he drew Alethea in The Way of All Flesh.

First meeting with Miss Eliza Mary Ann Savage, from whom he drew Alethea in The Way of All Flesh.

1872.

1872.

Erewhon or Over the Range: a Work of Satire and Imagination: MS. in the British Museum.

Erewhon or Over the Range: a Work of Satire and Imagination: Manuscript in the British Museum.

1873.

1873.

Erewhon translated into Dutch.

Erewhon translated to Dutch.

 

The Fair Haven: an ironical work, purporting to be “in defence of the miraculous element in our Lord’s ministry upon earth, both as against rationalistic impugners and certain orthodox defenders,” written under the pseudonym of John Pickard Owen with a memoir of the supposed author by his brother William Bickersteth Owen.  This book reproduces—the substance of his pamphlet on the resurrection: MS. at Christchurch, New Zealand.

The Fair Haven: an ironic work claiming to be “in defense of the miraculous elements of our Lord’s ministry on Earth, both against rationalistic critics and some orthodox defenders,” written under the pen name John Pickard Owen, with a memoir of the supposed author by his brother William Bickersteth Owen. This book incorporates the main content of his pamphlet on the resurrection: MS. at Christchurch, New Zealand.

1874.

1874.

“Mr. Heatherley’s Holiday,” his most important oil painting, exhibited at the Royal Academy Exhibition, now in the National Gallery of British Art.

“Mr. Heatherley’s Holiday,” his most significant oil painting, showcased at the Royal Academy Exhibition, now resides in the National Gallery of British Art.

1876.

1876.

Having invested his money in various companies that failed, one of which had its works in Canada, and having spent much time during the last few years in that country, trying unsuccessfully to save part of his capital, he now returned to London, and during the next ten years experienced serious financial difficulties.

Having put his money into several companies that ended up failing, including one that operated in Canada, and having spent a lot of time over the past few years in that country trying to salvage some of his investment, he returned to London. For the next ten years, he faced significant financial struggles.

 

First meeting with Henry Festing Jones.

First meeting with Henry Festing Jones.

1877.

1877.

Life and Habit: an Essay after a Completer View of Evolution: dedicated to Charles Paine Pauli: although dated 1878 the book was published on Butler’s birthday, 4th December, 1877: MS. at the Schools, Shrewsbury.

Life and Habit: an Essay after a Complete View of Evolution: dedicated to Charles Paine Pauli: although dated 1878 the book was published on Butler’s birthday, December 4, 1877: MS. at the Schools, Shrewsbury.

1878.

1878.

“A Psalm of Montreal” in the Spectator: There are probably many MSS. of this poem in existence given by Butler to friends: one, which he gave to H. F. Jones, is in the Fitzwilliam Museum, Cambridge.

“A Psalm of Montreal” in the Spectator: There are likely many copies of this poem out there that Butler gave to friends: one copy, which he gave to H. F. Jones, is in the Fitzwilliam Museum, Cambridge.

 

A Portrait of Butler, painted in this year by himself, now at St. John’s College, Cambridge.

A portrait of Butler, painted by him this year, is now at St. John's College, Cambridge.

1879.

1879.

Evolution Old and New: A comparison of the theories of Buffon, Dr. Erasmus Darwin and Lamarck with that of Charles Darwin: MS. in the Fitzwilliam Museum, Cambridge.

Evolution Old and New: A comparison of the theories of Buffon, Dr. Erasmus Darwin, and Lamarck with those of Charles Darwin: MS. in the Fitzwilliam Museum, Cambridge.

 

A Clergyman’s Doubts and God the Known and God the Unknown appeared in the Examiner: MS. lost.

A Clergyman’s Doubts and God the Known and God the Unknown were published in the Examiner: MS. lost.

 

Erewhon translated into German.

Erewhon translated to German.

1880.

1880.

Unconscious Memory: A comparison between the theory of Dr. Ewald Hering, Professor of Physiology in the University of Prague, and the Philosophy of the Unconscious of Dr. Edward von Hartmann, with translations from both these authors and preliminary chapters bearing upon Life and Habit, Evolution Old and New, and Charles Darwin’s Edition of Dr. Krause’s Erasmus Darwin.

Unconscious Memory: A comparison between the theory of Dr. Ewald Hering, Professor of Physiology at the University of Prague, and the Philosophy of the Unconscious by Dr. Edward von Hartmann, including translations from both authors as well as introductory chapters related to Life and Habit, Evolution Old and New, and Charles Darwin’s edition of Dr. Krause’s Erasmus Darwin.

 

A Portrait of Butler, painted in this year by himself, now at the Schools, Shrewsbury.  A third portrait of Butler, painted by himself about this time, is at Christchurch, New Zealand.

A Portrait of Butler, painted this year by himself, is now at the Schools, Shrewsbury. A third portrait of Butler, painted by himself around this time, is at Christchurch, New Zealand.

1881.

1881.

A property at Shrewsbury, in which under his grandfather’s will he had a reversionary interest contingent on his surviving his father, was re-settled so as to make his reversion absolute: he mortgaged this reversion and bought small property near London: this temporarily alleviated his financial embarrassment but added to his work, for he spent much time in the management of the houses, learnt book-keeping by double-entry and kept elaborate accounts.

A property in Shrewsbury, which he had a future interest in based on his grandfather’s will that depended on him outliving his father, was re-settled to make his claim definite. He mortgaged this future interest and bought a small property near London. This helped ease his financial struggles for a while but increased his workload, as he spent a lot of time managing the properties, learned double-entry bookkeeping, and kept detailed accounts.

 

Alps and Sanctuaries of Piedmont and the Canton Ticino illustrated by the author, Charles Gogin and Henry Festing Jones: an account of his holiday travels with dissertations on most of the subjects that interested him: MS. with H. F. Jones.

Alps and Sanctuaries of Piedmont and the Canton Ticino illustrated by the author, Charles Gogin, and Henry Festing Jones: a record of his vacation travels with discussions on most of the topics that captured his interest: MS. with H. F. Jones.

1882.

1882.

A new edition of Evolution Old and New, with a short preface alluding to the recent death of Charles Darwin, an appendix and an index.

A new edition of Evolution Old and New, featuring a brief preface mentioning the recent passing of Charles Darwin, along with an appendix and an index.

1883.

1883.

Began to compose music as nearly as he could in the style of Handel.

He started to create music as closely as possible in Handel's style.

1884.

1884.

Selections from Previous Works with “A Psalm of Montreal” and “Remarks on G. J. Romanes’ Mental Evolution in Animals.”

Selections from Previous Works with “A Psalm of Montreal” and “Remarks on G. J. Romanes’ Mental Evolution in Animals.”

1885.

1885.

Death of Miss Savage.

Miss Savage's death.

 

Gavottes, Minuets, Fugues and other short pieces for the piano by Samuel Butler and Henry Festing Jones: MS. with H. F. Jones.

Gavottes, Minuets, Fugues and other short piano pieces by Samuel Butler and Henry Festing Jones: Manuscript with H. F. Jones.

1886.

1886.

Holbein’s La Danse: a note on a drawing in the Museum at Basel.

Holbein’s La Danse: a note on a drawing in the Museum at Basel.

 

Stood, unsuccessfully, for the Professorship of Fine Arts in the University of Cambridge.

Stood, without success, for the Professorship of Fine Arts at the University of Cambridge.

 

Dec. 29.  Death of his father and end of his financial embarrassments.

Dec. 29. Death of his father and resolution of his financial issues.

1887.

1887.

Engaged Alfred Emery Cathie as clerk and general attendant.

Engaged Alfred Emery Cathie as a clerk and general assistant.

 

Luck or Cunning as the main means of Organic Modification?  An attempt to throw additional light upon Charles Darwin’s theory of Natural Selection.

Luck or Cunning as the primary way of Organic Modification? An effort to shed more light on Charles Darwin’s theory of Natural Selection.

 

Was entertained at dinner by the Municipio of Varallo-Sesia on the Sacro Monte.

Was entertained at dinner by the Municipality of Varallo-Sesia on the Sacred Mountain.

1888.

1888.

Took up photography.

Started photography.

1888.

1888.

Ex Voto: an account of the Sacro Monte or New Jerusalem at Varallo-Sesia, with some notice of Tabachetti’s remaining work at Crea and illustrations from photographs by the author: MS. at Varallo-Sesia.

Ex Voto: a report on the Sacred Mountain or New Jerusalem at Varallo-Sesia, along with some information about Tabachetti’s remaining work at Crea and pictures taken by the author: MS. at Varallo-Sesia.

 

Narcissus: a Cantata in the Handelian form, words and music by Samuel Butler and Henry Festing Jones: MS. of the piano score in the British Museum.  MS. of the orchestral score with H. F. Jones.

Narcissus: a cantata in the style of Handel, with words and music by Samuel Butler and Henry Festing Jones; manuscript of the piano score is in the British Museum. Manuscript of the orchestral score is with H. F. Jones.

 

In this and the two following years contributed some articles to the Universal Review, most of which were republished after his death as Essays on Life, Art, and Science (1904).

In this year and the next two, he contributed some articles to the Universal Review, most of which were republished after his death as Essays on Life, Art, and Science (1904).

1890.

1890.

Began to study counterpoint with William Smith Rockstro and continued to do so until Rockstro’s death in 1895.

Began studying counterpoint with William Smith Rockstro and kept it up until Rockstro passed away in 1895.

1892.

1892.

The Humour of Homer.  A Lecture delivered at the Working Men’s College, Great Ormond Street, London, January 30, 1892, reprinted with preface and additional matter from the Eagle.

The Humor of Homer. A Lecture given at the Working Men’s College, Great Ormond Street, London, January 30, 1892, reprinted with a preface and extra material from the Eagle.

 

Went to Sicily, the first of many visits, to collect evidence in support of his theory identifying the Scheria and Ithaca of the Odyssey with Trapani and the neighbouring Mount Eryx.

Went to Sicily, the first of many trips, to gather evidence supporting his theory that identifies the Scheria and Ithaca of the Odyssey with Trapani and the nearby Mount Eryx.

1893.

1893.

“L’Origine Siciliana dell’ Odissea.”  Extracted from the Rassegna della Letteratura Siciliana.

“L’Origine Siciliana dell’ Odissea.” Extracted from the Rassegna della Letteratura Siciliana.

 

“On the Trapanese Origin of the Odyssey” (Translation).

“On the Trapanese Origin of the Odyssey” (Translation).

1894.

1894.

Ex Voto translated into Italian by Cavaliere Angelo Rizzetti.

Ex Voto translated into Italian by Knight Angelo Rizzetti.

 

“Ancora sull’ origine dell’ Odissea.”  Extracted from the Rassegna della Letteratura Siciliana.

“Still on the origin of the Odissey.” Extracted from the Sicilian Literature Review.

1895.

1895.

Went to Greece and the Troad to make up his mind about the topography of the Iliad.

Went to Greece and the Troad to figure out the layout of the Iliad.

1896.

1896.

The Life and Letters of Dr. Samuel Butler (his grandfather) in so far as they illustrate the scholastic, religious and social life of England from 1790–1840: MS. at the Shrewsbury Town Library or Museum.

The Life and Letters of Dr. Samuel Butler (his grandfather) as they showcase the academic, religious, and social life of England from 1790 to 1840: manuscript at the Shrewsbury Town Library or Museum.

 

His portrait painted by Charles Gogin, now in the National Portrait Gallery.

His portrait, painted by Charles Gogin, is now in the National Portrait Gallery.

1897.

1897.

The Authoress of the Odyssey, where and when she wrote, who she was, the use she made of the Iliad and how the poem grew under her hands: MS. at Trapani.

The Author of the Odyssey, where and when she wrote, who she was, the way she used the Iliad, and how the poem developed under her influence: MS. at Trapani.

1897.

1897.

Death of Charles Paine Pauli.

Death of Charles Paine Pauli.

1898.

1898.

The Iliad rendered into English prose: MS. at St. John’s College, Cambridge.

The Iliad translated into English prose: manuscript at St. John’s College, Cambridge.

1899.

1899.

Shakespeare’s Sonnets reconsidered and in part rearranged, with introductory chapters, notes and a reprint of the original 1609 edition: MS. with R. A. Streatfeild.

Shakespeare’s Sonnets reexamined and partly reorganized, with introductory chapters, notes, and a reprint of the original 1609 edition: MS. with R. A. Streatfeild.

1900.

1900.

The Odyssey rendered into English prose: MS. at Aci-Reale, Sicily.

The Odyssey translated into English prose: Manuscript at Aci-Reale, Sicily.

1901.

1901.

Erewhon Revisited twenty years later both by the Original Discoverer of the Country and by his Son: this was a return not only to Erewhon but also to the subject of the pamphlet on the resurrection.  MS. in the British Museum.

Erewhon Revisited twenty years later by both the Original Discoverer of the Country and his Son: this was a return not just to Erewhon but also to the topic of the pamphlet on resurrection. MS. in the British Museum.

1902.

1902.

June, 18.  Death of Samuel Butler.

June 18. Death of Samuel Butler.

1902.

1902.

“Samuel Butler,” an article by Richard Alexander Streatfeild in the Monthly Review (September).

“Samuel Butler,” an article by Richard Alexander Streatfeild in the Monthly Review (September).

 

“Samuel Butler,” an obituary notice by Henry Festing Jones in the Eagle (December).

“Samuel Butler,” an obituary notice by Henry Festing Jones in the Eagle (December).

1903.

1903

Samuel Butler Records and Memorials, a collection of obituary notices with a note by R. A. Streatfeild, his literary executor, printed for private circulation: with reproduction of a photograph of Butler taken at Varallo in 1889.

Samuel Butler Records and Memorials, a collection of obituary notices with a note by R. A. Streatfeild, his literary executor, printed for private circulation: includes a reproduction of a photograph of Butler taken at Varallo in 1889.

 

The Way of All Flesh, a novel, written between 1872 and 1885, published by R. A. Streatfeild: MS. with Mr. R. A. Streatfeild.

The Way of All Flesh, a novel, written between 1872 and 1885, published by R. A. Streatfeild: MS. with Mr. R. A. Streatfeild.

1904.

1904.

Seven Sonnets and A Psalm of Montreal printed for private circulation.

Seven Sonnets and A Psalm of Montreal printed for personal distribution.

 

Essays on Life, Art and Science, being reprints of his Universal Review articles, together with two lectures.

Essays on Life, Art and Science, is a collection of his articles from Universal Review, along with two lectures.

 

Ulysses, an Oratorio: Words and music by Samuel Butler and Henry Festing Jones: MS. of the piano score in the British Museum, MS. of the orchestral score with H. F. Jones.

Ulysses, an Oratorio: Words and music by Samuel Butler and Henry Festing Jones: Manuscript of the piano score in the British Museum, manuscript of the orchestral score with H. F. Jones.

 

“The Author of Erewhon,” an article by Desmond MacCarthy in the Independent Review (September).

“The Author of Erewhon,” an article by Desmond MacCarthy in the Independent Review (September).

1904.

1904.

Diary of a Journey through North Italy to Sicily (in the spring of 1903, undertaken for the purpose of leaving the MSS. of three books by Samuel Butler at Varallo-Sesia, Aci-Reale and Trapani) by Henry Festing Jones, with reproduction of Gogin’s portrait of Butler.  Printed for private circulation.

Diary of a Journey through North Italy to Sicily (in the spring of 1903, undertaken to leave the MSS. of three books by Samuel Butler in Varallo-Sesia, Aci-Reale and Trapani) by Henry Festing Jones, with a reproduction of Gogin’s portrait of Butler. Printed for private circulation.

1907.

1907.

Nov.  Between this date and May, 1910, some Extracts from The Note-Books of Samuel Butler appeared in the New Quarterly Review under the editorship of Desmond MacCarthy.

Nov. Between this date and May 1910, some excerpts from The Note-Books of Samuel Butler were published in the New Quarterly Review under the editorship of Desmond MacCarthy.

1908.

1908.

July 16.  The first Erewhon dinner at Pagani’s Restaurant, Great Portland Street; 32 persons present: the day was fixed by Professor Marcus Hartog.

July 16. The first Erewhon dinner at Pagani’s Restaurant, Great Portland Street; 32 people present: the date was set by Professor Marcus Hartog.

 

Second Edition of The Way of All Flesh.

Second Edition of The Way of All Flesh.

1909.

1909.

God the Known and God the Unknown republished in book form from the Examiner (1879) by A. C. Fifield, with prefatory note by R. A. Streatfeild.

God the Known and God the Unknown republished in book form from the Examiner (1879) by A. C. Fifield, with a prefatory note by R. A. Streatfeild.

 

July 15.  The second Erewhon dinner at Pagani’s; 53 present: the day was fixed by Mr. George Bernard Shaw.

July 15. The second Erewhon dinner at Pagani’s; 53 people attended: the date was set by Mr. George Bernard Shaw.

1910.

1910.

Feb. 10.  Samuel Butler Author of Erewhon, a Paper read before the British Association of Homœopathy at 43 Russell Square, W.C., by Henry Festing Jones.  Some of Butler’s music was performed by Miss Grainger Kerr, Mr. R. A. Streatfeild, Mr. J. A. Fuller Maitland and Mr. H. J. T. Wood, the Secretary of the Association.

Feb. 10.  Samuel Butler Author of Erewhon, a Paper presented to the British Association of Homeopathy at 43 Russell Square, W.C., by Henry Festing Jones.  Some of Butler’s music was performed by Miss Grainger Kerr, Mr. R. A. Streatfeild, Mr. J. A. Fuller Maitland, and Mr. H. J. T. Wood, the Secretary of the Association.

June.

June.

Unconscious Memory, a new edition entirely reset with a note by R. A. Streatfeild and an introduction by Professor Marcus Hartog, M.A., D.Sc., F.L.S., F.R. H.S., Professor of Zoology in University College, Cork.

Unconscious Memory, a newly updated edition with a note by R. A. Streatfeild and an introduction by Professor Marcus Hartog, M.A., D.Sc., F.L.S., F.R. H.S., Professor of Zoology at University College, Cork.

 

July 14.  The third Erewhon dinner at Pagani’s Restaurant; 58 present: the day was fixed by the Right Honourable Augustine Birrell, K.C., M.P.

July 14. The third Erewhon dinner at Pagani’s Restaurant; 58 people attended: the date was set by the Right Honourable Augustine Birrell, K.C., M.P.

 

Nov. 16.  Samuel Butler Author of Erewhon.  A paper read before the Historical Society of St. John’s College, Cambridge, in the Combination-room of the college, by Henry Festing Jones.  The Master (Mr. R. F. Scott), who was also Vice-Chancellor of the University, was in the chair and a Vote of Thanks was proposed by Professor Bateson, F.R.S.

Nov. 16.  Samuel Butler Author of Erewhon.  A paper presented to the Historical Society of St. John’s College, Cambridge, in the college's Combination-room, by Henry Festing Jones.  The Master (Mr. R. F. Scott), who was also the Vice-Chancellor of the University, presided over the meeting, and a Vote of Thanks was proposed by Professor Bateson, F.R.S.

1910.

1910

Nov. 28.  Life and Habit, a new edition with a preface by R. A. Streatfeild and author’s addenda, being three pages containing passages which Butler had cut out of the original book or had intended to insert in a future edition.

Nov. 28.  Life and Habit, a new edition with a preface by R. A. Streatfeild and author's addenda, consisting of three pages featuring excerpts that Butler removed from the original book or planned to include in a future edition.

1911.

1911.

May 25.  The jubilee number of the Press, New Zealand, contained an account of Butler’s connection with the newspaper and reprinted “Darwin among the Machines” and “Lucubratio Ebria.”

May 25. The special jubilee edition of the Press, New Zealand, included a piece about Butler’s relationship with the newspaper and reprinted “Darwin among the Machines” and “Lucubratio Ebria.”

 

July 15.  The fourth Erewhon dinner at Pagani’s Restaurant; 75 present: the day was fixed by Sir William Phipson Beale, Bart., K.C., M.P.

July 15. The fourth Erewhon dinner at Pagani’s Restaurant; 75 attendees: the date was set by Sir William Phipson Beale, Bart., K.C., M.P.

 

Nov.  Charles Darwin and Samuel Butler: A Step towards Reconciliation, by Henry Festing Jones.  A pamphlet giving the substance of a correspondence between Mr. Francis Darwin and the author and reproducing letters by Charles Darwin about the quarrel between himself and Butler referred to in Chapter IV of Unconscious Memory.

Nov. Charles Darwin and Samuel Butler: A Step towards Reconciliation, by Henry Festing Jones. A pamphlet summarizing the correspondence between Mr. Francis Darwin and the author, and including letters from Charles Darwin regarding the conflict between him and Butler mentioned in Chapter IV of Unconscious Memory.

 

Evolution Old and New, a reprint of the second edition (1882) with prefatory note by R. A. Streatfeild.

Evolution Old and New, a reprint of the second edition (1882) with a preface by R. A. Streatfeild.

1912.

1912.

June 1.  Letter from Henry Festing Jones in the Press, Christchurch, New Zealand, about Butler’s Dialogue, which had appeared originally in the Press December 20, 1862, and could not be found.

June 1. Letter from Henry Festing Jones in the Press, Christchurch, New Zealand, about Butler’s Dialogue, which originally appeared in the Press on December 20, 1862, and was unavailable.

 

June 8.  “Darwin on the Origin of Species.  A Dialogue “discovered in consequence of the foregoing letter and reprinted in the Press.

June 8. “Darwin on the Origin of Species. A Dialogue” found as a result of the previous letter and reprinted in the Press.

 

June 15.  The Press reprinted some of the correspondence, etc. which followed on the original appearance of the Dialogue.

June 15. The Press reprinted some of the correspondence and other material that followed the initial release of the Dialogue.

 

Some of Butler’s water-colour drawings having been given to the British Museum, two were included in an exhibition held there during the summer.

Some of Butler’s watercolour drawings were given to the British Museum, and two were featured in an exhibition held there during the summer.

 

July 12.  The Fifth Erewhon Dinner at Pagani’s Restaurant; 90 present; the day was fixed by Mr. Edmund Gosse, C.B., LL.D.

July 12. The Fifth Erewhon Dinner at Pagani’s Restaurant; 90 attendees; the date was set by Mr. Edmund Gosse, C.B., LL.D.

p. 9I
Lord, What is Man?

Man

i

We are like billiard balls in a game played by unskilful players, continually being nearly sent into a pocket, but hardly ever getting right into one, except by a fluke.

We are like billiard balls in a game played by unskilled players, almost getting sent into a pocket constantly, but rarely actually going in, except by chance.

ii

We are like thistle-down blown about by the wind—up and down, here and there—but not one in a thousand ever getting beyond seed-hood.

We are like thistle fluff tossed around by the wind—up and down, here and there—but hardly one in a thousand ever makes it past being just a seed.

iii

A man is a passing mood coming and going in the mind of his country; he is the twitching of a nerve, a smile, a frown, a thought of shame or honour, as it may happen.

A man is a fleeting feeling that comes and goes in the mind of his country; he is the twitch of a nerve, a smile, a frown, a thought of shame or honor, depending on the situation.

iv

How loosely our thoughts must hang together when the whiff of a smell, a band playing in the street, a face seen in the fire, or on the gnarled stem of a tree, will lead them into such vagaries at a moment’s warning.

How loosely our thoughts can connect when the slightest hint of a smell, a band playing outside, a face seen in the fire, or on the twisted branch of a tree, can send them off into such random distractions in an instant.

v

When I was a boy at school at Shrewsbury, old Mrs. Brown used to keep a tray of spoiled tarts which she sold cheaper.  They most of them looked pretty right till you handled them.  We are all spoiled tarts.

When I was a kid at school in Shrewsbury, old Mrs. Brown used to keep a tray of messed-up tarts that she sold for less. Most of them looked fine until you picked them up. We're all like those messed-up tarts.

vi

He is a poor creature who does not believe himself to be better than the whole world else.  No matter how ill we may be, or how low we may have fallen, we would not change identity with any other person.  Hence our self-conceit sustains and always must sustain us till death takes us and our conceit together so that we need no more sustaining.

He is a miserable person who doesn’t think he is better than anyone else in the world. No matter how sick we might be, or how far we’ve fallen, we wouldn’t want to trade places with anyone. So, our self-importance supports us and always will until death takes us and our arrogance away, leaving us needing no further support.

vii

Man must always be a consuming fire or be consumed.  As for hell, we are in a burning fiery furnace all our lives—for what is life but a process of combustion?

Man must always be a consuming fire or be consumed. As for hell, we are in a burning fiery furnace our entire lives—because what is life but a process of burning?

Life

i

We have got into life by stealth and petitio principii, by the free use of that contradiction in terms which we declare to be the most outrageous violation of our reason.  We have wriggled into it by holding that everything is both one and many, both infinite in time and space and yet finite, both like and unlike to the same thing, both itself and not itself, both free and yet inexorably fettered, both every adjective in the dictionary and at the same time the flat contradiction of every one of them.

We’ve crept into life quietly and through circular reasoning, using that contradiction in terms we claim is the most outrageous affront to our logic. We’ve twisted our way into it by believing that everything is both one and many, infinite in time and space yet finite, similar and different from the same thing, both itself and not itself, both free and yet tightly bound, and both every adjective in the dictionary while also being the exact opposite of each one.

ii

The beginning of life is the beginning of an illusion to the effect that there is such a thing as free will and that there is such another thing as necessity—the recognition of the fact that there is an “I can” and an “I cannot,” an “I may” and an “I must.”

The start of life is the start of the illusion that free will exists and that necessity exists too—the acknowledgment that there’s an “I can” and an “I cannot,” an “I may” and an “I must.”

iii

Life is not so much a riddle to be read as a Gordian knot that will get cut sooner or later.

Life isn't so much a puzzle to figure out as a Gordian knot that will eventually be cut, one way or another.

iv

Life is the distribution of an error—or errors.

Life is the spread of a mistake—or mistakes.

v

Murray (the publisher) said that my Life of Dr. Butler was an omnium gatherum.  Yes, but life is an omnium gatherum.

Murray (the publisher) said that my Life of Dr. Butler was a mixed bag. Yes, but life is a mixed bag.

vi

Life is a superstition.  But superstitions are not without their value.  The snail’s shell is a superstition, slugs have no shells and thrive just as well.  But a snail without a shell would not be a slug unless it had also the slug’s indifference to a shell.

Life is a superstition. But superstitions aren't without their value. A snail's shell is a superstition; slugs have no shells and do just fine. However, a snail without a shell wouldn't be a slug unless it also shared the slug's indifference to having a shell.

vii

Life is one long process of getting tired.

Life is just a long journey of getting worn out.

viii

My days run through me as water through a sieve.

My days slip by me like water through a sieve.

ix

Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.

Life is about making enough sense from incomplete information.

x

Life is eight parts cards and two parts play, the unseen world is made manifest to us in the play.

Life is mostly about luck and a bit about how we handle it; the unseen world reveals itself to us in the game.

xi

Lizards generally seem to have lost their tails by the time they reach middle life.  So have most men.

Lizards usually seem to have lost their tails by the time they reach middle age. So have most men.

xii

A sense of humour keen enough to show a man his own absurdities, as well as those of other people, will keep him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those that are worth committing.

A sharp sense of humor that lets a person see their own ridiculousness, along with others', can prevent them from making all, or almost all, mistakes—except for those that are actually worth making.

xiii

Life is like music, it must be composed by ear, feeling and instinct, not by rule.  Nevertheless one had better know the rules, for they sometimes guide in doubtful cases—though not often.

Life is like music; it should be created by listening, feeling, and instinct, not by strict rules. However, it's a good idea to know the rules, as they can sometimes help in uncertain situations—though not very often.

xiv

There are two great rules of life, the one general and the other particular.  The first is that every one can, in the end, get what he wants if he only tries.  This is the general rule.  The particular rule is that every individual is, more or less, an exception to the general rule.

There are two major rules of life, one general and the other specific. The first is that everyone can, in the end, achieve what they want if they just put in the effort. This is the general rule. The specific rule is that every person is, to some extent, an exception to the general rule.

xv

Nature is essentially mean, mediocre.  You can have schemes for raising the level of this mean, but not for making every one two inches taller than his neighbour, and this is what people really care about.

Nature is basically average, ordinary. You can come up with plans to improve this average, but not to make everyone two inches taller than their neighbor, and that's what people really care about.

xvi

All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.

All progress comes from a universal, natural urge in every organism to live beyond its means.

The World

i

The world is a gambling-table so arranged that all who enter the casino must play and all must lose more or less heavily in the long run, though they win occasionally by the way.

The world is like a casino set up so that everyone who enters has to play, and in the end, everyone will lose more or less, even if they win here and there along the way.

ii

We play out our days as we play out cards, taking them as they come, not knowing what they will be, hoping for a lucky card and sometimes getting one, often getting just the wrong one.

We go through our days like we play cards, taking them as they come, unsure of what they will be, hoping for a lucky card and sometimes getting one, but often ending up with just the wrong one.

iii

The world may not be particularly wise—still, we know of nothing wiser.

The world might not be all that wise—yet, we don't know of anything wiser.

iv

The world will always be governed by self-interest.  We should not try to stop this, we should try to make the self-interest of cads a little more coincident with that of decent people.

The world will always be run by self-interest. We shouldn't try to change this; instead, we should aim to align the self-interest of the selfish a bit more with that of decent people.

The Individual and the World

There is an eternal antagonism of interest between the individual and the world at large.  The individual will not so much care how much he may suffer in this world provided he can live in men’s good thoughts long after he has left it.  The world at large does not so much care how much suffering the individual may either endure or cause in this life, provided he will take himself clean away out of men’s thoughts, whether for good or ill, when he has left it.

There’s a timeless conflict between the individual and the broader world. The individual won’t care much about their suffering in this life as long as they can be remembered positively long after they’re gone. The world, on the other hand, isn’t too concerned about how much suffering the individual may go through or inflict during their lifetime, as long as they completely remove themselves from people’s thoughts, whether positively or negatively, once they’ve departed.

My Life

i

I imagine that life can give nothing much better or much worse than what I have myself experienced.  I should say I had proved pretty well the extremes of mental pleasure and pain; and so I believe each in his own way does, almost every man.

I think life can't offer anything significantly better or worse than what I've experienced. I'd say I've really gone through the extremes of happiness and suffering, and I believe most people do too, each in their own way.

ii

I have squandered my life as a schoolboy squanders a tip.  But then half, or more than half the fun a schoolboy gets out of a tip consists in the mere fact of having something to squander.  Squandering is in itself delightful, and so I found it with my life in my younger days.  I do not squander it now, but I am not sorry that I have squandered a good deal of it.  What a heap of rubbish there would have been if I had not!  Had I not better set about squandering what is left of it?

I have wasted my life like a schoolboy wastes a tip. But then, a big part of the fun a schoolboy has with a tip comes from just having something to waste. Wasting it is enjoyable by itself, and I felt that way about my life when I was younger. I don’t waste it now, but I’m not upset about having wasted a good portion of it. Just think of all the nonsense there would have been if I hadn’t! Shouldn’t I start wasting what’s left of it?

The Life we Live in Others

A man should spend his life or, rather, does spend his life in being born.  His life is his birth throes.  But most men miscarry and never come to the true birth at all and some live but a very short time in a very little world and none are eternal.  Still, the life we live beyond the grave is our truest life, and our happiest, for we pass it in the profoundest sleep as though we were children in our cradles.  If we are wronged it hurts us not; if we wrong others, we do not suffer for it; and when we die, as even the Handels and Bellinis and Shakespeares sooner or later do, we die easily, know neither fear nor pain and live anew in the lives of those who have been begotten of our work and who have for the time come up in our room.

A man should spend his life—or rather, does spend his life—being born. His life is like the struggle of birth. But most men never really make it to true birth and some only live a short while in a tiny world, and no one is eternal. Still, the life we live after death is our truest life and the happiest, as we spend it in the deepest sleep, like children in their cradles. If we are wronged, it doesn’t hurt us; if we wrong others, we don’t suffer for it; and when we die, as even the Handels, Bellinis, and Shakespeares eventually do, we die peacefully, feeling neither fear nor pain, and we live on in the lives of those who have come from our work and who temporarily take our place.

An immortal like Shakespeare knows nothing of his own immortality about which we are so keenly conscious.  As he knows nothing of it when it is in its highest vitality, centuries, it may be, after his apparent death, so it is best and happiest if during his bodily life he should think little or nothing about it and perhaps hardly suspect that he will live after his death at all.

An immortal like Shakespeare doesn’t know anything about his own immortality that we're so aware of. Just like he’s unaware of it when it’s at its peak vitality, maybe centuries after his apparent death, it's probably best and happiest for him to think little or nothing about it during his lifetime and maybe not even suspect that he will continue to exist after dying at all.

And yet I do not know—I could not keep myself going at all if I did not believe that I was likely to inherit a good average three-score years and ten of immortality.  There are very few workers who are not sustained by this belief, or at least hope, but it may well be doubted whether this is not a sign that they are not going to be immortal—and I am content (or try to be) to fare as my neighbours.

And yet I don't know—I couldn't keep myself going at all if I didn't believe I'd likely inherit a decent average lifespan of around seventy years. There are very few workers who aren't supported by this belief, or at least some hope, but it's worth questioning whether this is actually a sign that they aren't going to be immortal—and I'm okay (or I try to be) with living like my neighbors.

The World Made to Enjoy

When we grumble about the vanity of all human things, inasmuch as even the noblest works are not eternal but must become sooner or later as though they had never been, we should remember that the world, so far as we can see, was made to enjoy rather than to last.  Come-and-go pervades everything of which we have knowledge, and though great things go more slowly, they are built up of small ones and must fare as that which makes them.

When we complain about the emptiness of human endeavors, especially since even the greatest achievements aren’t everlasting but will eventually fade away as if they never existed, we should keep in mind that the world, as far as we can tell, was made for enjoyment rather than permanence. Everything we know is subject to the cycle of coming and going, and while major things might take longer to change, they are composed of smaller elements and will follow the same fate as those that create them.

Are we to have our enjoyment of Handel and Shakespeare weakened because a day will come when there will be no more of either Handel or Shakespeare nor yet of ears to hear them?  Is it not enough that they should stir such countless multitudes so profoundly and kindle such intense and affectionate admiration for so many ages as they have done and probably will continue to do?  The life of a great thing may be so long as practically to come to immortality even now, but that is not the point.  The point is that if anything was aimed at at all when things began to shape or to be shaped, it seems to have been a short life and a merry one, with an extension of time in certain favoured cases, rather than a permanency even of the very best and noblest.  And, when one comes to think of it, death and birth are so closely correlated that one could not destroy either without destroying the other at the same time.  It is extinction that makes creation possible.

Are we supposed to enjoy Handel and Shakespeare less because there will come a time when neither Handel nor Shakespeare will exist, nor will there be anyone to appreciate them? Isn't it enough that they have inspired countless people so deeply and ignited such intense and loving admiration for so many ages, as they have done and likely will continue to do? The life of something great can stretch long enough to feel almost immortal even now, but that's not the main issue. The main issue is that if there was any aim when things started to come together, it seems to have been a short life filled with joy, with some exceptions where time is extended, rather than an everlasting existence for even the greatest and noblest. And when you think about it, death and birth are so closely linked that you can't eliminate one without eliminating the other at the same time. It's extinction that makes creation possible.

If, however, any work is to have long life it is not enough that it should be good of its kind.  Many ephemeral things are perfect in their way.  It must be of a durable kind as well.

If any work is going to last, it can't just be good at what it does. Many temporary things are perfect in their own way. It also needs to be built to last.

Living in Others

We had better live in others as much as we can if only because we thus live more in the race, which God really does seem to care about a good deal, and less in the individual, to whom, so far as I can see, he is indifferent.  After we are dead it matters not to the life we have led in ourselves what people may say of us, but it matters much to the life we lead in others and this should be our true life.

We should try to live in others as much as possible, not just because it helps us connect with humanity—which seems to matter a lot to God—but also because it takes the focus off the individual, to whom, from what I can tell, He is indifferent. After we die, it doesn’t really matter what people say about the life we lived for ourselves, but it matters a lot to the life we created in others, and that should be our genuine purpose.

Karma

When I am inclined to complain about having worked so many years and taken nothing but debt, though I feel the want of money so continually (much more, doubtless, than I ought to feel it), let me remember that I come in free, gratis, to the work of hundreds and thousands of better men than myself who often were much worse paid than I have been.  If a man’s true self is his karma—the life which his work lives but which he knows very little about and by which he takes nothing—let him remember at least that he can enjoy the karma of others, and this about squares the account—or rather far more than squares it.  [1883.]

When I feel like complaining about working so many years and accumulating nothing but debt, even though I constantly feel the lack of money (probably more than I should), I remind myself that I benefit for free from the efforts of hundreds and thousands of better people than I am, many of whom were paid much less than I have been. If a person's true self is defined by their karma—the life that their work creates, which they don’t fully understand and from which they gain nothing—they should at least recognize that they can enjoy the karma of others, and that pretty much balances things out—or even tips the scales in their favor. [1883.]

Birth and Death

i

They are functions one of the other and if you get rid of one you must get rid of the other also.  There is birth in death and death in birth.  We are always dying and being born again.

They are functions of each other, and if you get rid of one, you have to get rid of the other too. There's birth in death and death in birth. We're always dying and being born again.

ii

Life is the gathering of waves to a head, at death they break into a million fragments each one of which, however, is absorbed at once into the sea of life and helps to form a later generation which comes rolling on till it too breaks.

Life is like waves coming together, and at death, they crash into a million pieces. Each piece is instantly absorbed back into the sea of life and contributes to creating a new generation that rolls in until it breaks too.

iii

What happens to you when you die?  But what happens to you when you are born?  In the one case we are born and in the other we die, but it is not possible to get much further.

What happens to you when you die? But what happens to you when you’re born? In one case, we are born, and in the other, we die, but there’s not much more to explore beyond that.

iv

We commonly know that we are going to die though we do not know that we are going to be born.  But are we sure this is so?  We may have had the most gloomy forebodings on this head and forgotten all about them.  At any rate we know no more about the very end of our lives than about the very beginning.  We come up unconsciously, and go down unconsciously; and we rarely see either birth or death.  We see people, as consciousness, between the two extremes.

We generally understand that we’re going to die, even though we don’t know when we’re going to be born. But can we be certain about that? We might have had dark feelings about this and completely forgotten them. At the end of the day, we know just as little about the end of our lives as we do about the very beginning. We come into the world without awareness and leave without awareness; and we hardly witness either birth or death. We only see people, as awareness, in between those two extremes.

Reproduction

Its base must be looked for not in the desire of the parents to reproduce but in the discontent of the germs with their surroundings inside those parents, and a desire on their part to have a separate maintenance. [16] [1880.]

Its basis shouldn't be seen in the parents' desire to reproduce but in the dissatisfaction of the germs with their environment within those parents, along with their wish for independent sustenance. [16] [1880.]

Thinking almost Identically

The ova, spermatozoa and embryos not only of all human races but of all things that live, whether animal or vegetable, think little, but that little almost identically on every subject.  That “almost” is the little rift within the lute which by and by will give such different character to the music.  [1889.]

The eggs, sperm, and embryos not just of all human races but of all living things, whether animal or plant, think very little, but that little is almost identical on every topic. That “almost” is the small discrepancy that will eventually shape the music into something distinct. [1889.]

Is Life Worth Living?

This is a question for an embryo, not for a man.  [1883.]

This is a question for an embryo, not for a man. [1883.]

Evacuations

There is a resemblance, greater or less, between the pleasure we derive from all the evacuations.  I believe that in all cases the pleasure arises from rest—rest, that is to say, from the considerable, though in most cases unconscious labour of retaining that which it is a relief to us to be rid of.

There is a resemblance, greater or lesser, between the pleasure we get from all the evacuations. I believe that in all cases, the pleasure comes from rest—rest, in other words, from the significant, although often unconscious, effort of holding onto what it feels good to be free of.

In ordinary cases the effort whereby we retain those things that we would get rid of is unperceived by the central government, being, I suppose, departmentally made; we—as distinguished from the subordinate personalities of which we are composed—know nothing about it, though the subordinates in question doubtless do.  But when the desirability of removing is abnormally great, we know about the effort of retaining perfectly well, and the gradual increase in our perception of the effort suggests strongly that there has been effort all the time, descending to conscious and great through unconscious and normal from unconscious and hardly any at all.  The relaxation of this effort is what causes the sense of refreshment that follows all healthy discharges.

In normal situations, the effort we make to hold onto things we want to let go of goes unnoticed by the main authority, since I assume it’s created at a lower level; we—unlike the smaller parts of ourselves—are unaware of it, even though those smaller parts probably are. But when the urge to remove something becomes unusually strong, we are very aware of the effort to hold on, and the increasing recognition of that effort suggests that it has always been there, moving from being unconscious and minimal to conscious and significant. The relief of this effort is what brings about the refreshing feeling that follows any healthy release.

All our limbs and sensual organs, in fact our whole body and life, are but an accretion round and a fostering of the spermatozoa.  They are the real “He.”  A man’s eyes, ears, tongue, nose, legs and arms are but so many organs and tools that minister to the protection, education, increased intelligence and multiplication of the spermatozoa; so that our whole life is in reality a series of complex efforts in respect of these, conscious or unconscious according to their comparative commonness.  They are the central fact in our existence, the point towards which all effort is directed.  Relaxation of effort here, therefore, is the most complete and comprehensive of all relaxations and, as such, the supreme gratification—the most complete rest we can have, short of sleep and death.

All our limbs and senses, really our entire body and life, are just a buildup around and a nurturing of sperm. They are the true "He." A man's eyes, ears, tongue, nose, legs, and arms are simply tools that help protect, educate, enhance intelligence, and multiply sperm; so, our whole life is essentially a complex series of efforts related to these, whether we’re aware of it or not. They are the core of our existence, the focus of all our efforts. Therefore, relaxing that effort is the most thorough and inclusive form of relaxation, and as such, it brings the greatest pleasure—the deepest rest we can experience, aside from sleep and death.

Man and His Organism

i

Man is but a perambulating tool-box and workshop, or office, fashioned for itself by a piece of very clever slime, as the result of long experience; and truth is but its own most enlarged, general and enduring sense of the coming togetherness or convenience of the various conventional arrangements which, for some reason or other, it has been led to sanction.  Hence we speak of man’s body as his “trunk.”

Man is just a moving toolbox and workshop, created for itself by a clever bit of slime over a long period of time; truth is just its most expanded, general, and lasting understanding of the collaboration or usefulness of the different social agreements it has come to accept for some reason. That's why we refer to a man's body as his "trunk."

ii

The body is but a pair of pincers set over a bellows and a stewpan and the whole fixed upon stilts.

The body is just a set of pincers over a bellows and a pot, all set on stilts.

iii

A man should see himself as a kind of tool-box; this is simple enough; the difficulty is that it is the tools themselves that make and work the tools.  The skill which now guides our organs and us in arts and inventions was at one time exercised upon the invention of these very organs themselves.  Tentative bankruptcy acts afford good illustrations of the manner in which organisms have been developed.  The ligaments which bind the tendons of our feet or the valves of our blood vessels are the ingenious enterprises of individual cells who saw a want, felt that they could supply it, and have thus won themselves a position among the old aristocracy of the body politic.

A man should think of himself as a toolbox; that's pretty straightforward. The challenge is that it’s the tools themselves that create and operate the tools. The skills that now guide our body and our creativity were once applied to the creation of those very tools. Examples of tentative bankruptcy laws illustrate how organisms have evolved. The ligaments that connect the tendons in our feet or the valves in our blood vessels are clever efforts by individual cells that recognized a need, believed they could meet it, and thus secured their place among the established elite of the body.

The most incorporate tool—as an eye or a tooth or the fist, when a blow is struck with it—has still something of the non-ego about it; and in like manner such a tool as a locomotive engine, apparently entirely separated from the body, must still from time to time, as it were, kiss the soil of the human body and be handled, and thus become incorporate with man, if it is to remain in working order.

The most integrated tool—like an eye, a tooth, or a fist when it strikes—still has some sense of being separate from the self; similarly, a locomotive engine, which seems completely detached from the human body, must still occasionally connect with the earth and be operated by people to function properly.

Tools

A tool is anything whatsoever which is used by an intelligent being for realising its object.  The idea of a desired end is inseparable from a tool.  The very essence of a tool is the being an instrument for the achievement of a purpose.  We say that a man is the tool of another, meaning that he is being used for the furtherance of that other’s ends, and this constitutes him a machine in use.  Therefore the word “tool” implies also the existence of a living, intelligent being capable of desiring the end for which the tool is used, for this is involved in the idea of a desired end.  And as few tools grow naturally fit for use (for even a stick or a fuller’s teasel must be cut from their places and modified to some extent before they can be called tools), the word “tool” implies not only a purpose and a purposer, but a purposer who can see in what manner his purpose can be achieved, and who can contrive (or find ready-made and fetch and employ) the tool which shall achieve it.

A tool is anything used by an intelligent being to achieve a goal. The idea of a desired outcome is inseparable from a tool. The essence of a tool is that it serves as an instrument for accomplishing a purpose. When we say that a person is the tool of another, we mean that they’re being used to further someone else’s goals, making them a kind of machine in operation. Therefore, the term "tool" also implies the existence of a living, intelligent being capable of wanting the goal for which the tool is used, as this is central to the concept of a desired outcome. Since few tools are naturally suitable for use (even a stick or a fuller’s teasel must be cut from their surroundings and modified to some degree before they qualify as tools), the word "tool" suggests not only a purpose and a person with that purpose, but also someone who can recognize how their goal can be achieved and who can create (or find, retrieve, and use) the tool that will accomplish it.

Strictly speaking, nothing is a tool unless during actual use.  Nevertheless, if a thing has been made for the express purpose of being used as a tool it is commonly called a tool, whether it is in actual use or no.  Thus hammers, chisels, etc., are called tools, though lying idle in a tool-box.  What is meant is that, though not actually being used as instruments at the present moment, they bear the impress of their object, and are so often in use that we may speak of them as though they always were so.  Strictly, a thing is a tool or not a tool just as it may happen to be in use or not.  Thus a stone may be picked up and used to hammer a nail with, but the stone is not a tool until picked up with an eye to use; it is a tool as soon as this happens, and, if thrown away immediately the nail has been driven home, the stone is a tool no longer.  We see, therefore, matter alternating between a toolish or organic state and an untoolish or inorganic.  Where there is intention it is organic, where there is no intention it is inorganic.  Perhaps, however, the word “tool” should cover also the remains of a tool so long as there are manifest signs that the object was a tool once.

To be precise, nothing is considered a tool unless it’s actually being used. However, if something is specifically made to be used as a tool, it’s usually labeled a tool, whether it's currently in use or not. For example, hammers, chisels, and so on are referred to as tools even when they’re just sitting in a toolbox. This means that although they aren’t actively functioning as instruments at the moment, they carry the mark of their intended purpose and are used frequently enough that we can talk about them as if they’re always in use. Strictly speaking, whether something is a tool depends on whether it’s being used at that point in time. For instance, a stone can be picked up and used to drive a nail, but it’s not considered a tool until someone picks it up with the intention to use it; it becomes a tool as soon as that intention exists, and if it’s tossed aside right after the nail is set, it’s no longer a tool. Thus, we see that objects can alternate between being tool-like or functional, and being non-tool-like or inoperative. When there’s intention, it’s functional; when there isn’t, it’s not. However, perhaps the term “tool” should also include remnants of a tool as long as there are clear indications that the object was once a tool.

The simplest tool I can think of is a piece of gravel used for making a road.  Nothing is done to it, it owes its being a tool simply to the fact that it subserves a purpose.  A broken piece of granite used for macadamising a road is a more complex instrument, about the toolishness of which no doubt can be entertained.  It will, however, I think, be held that even a piece of gravel found in situ and left there untouched, provided it is so left because it was deemed suitable for a road which was designed to pass over the spot, would become a tool in virtue of the recognition of its utility, while a similar piece of gravel a yard off on either side the proposed road would not be a tool.

The simplest tool I can think of is a piece of gravel used for making a road. Nothing is done to it; it’s considered a tool simply because it serves a purpose. A broken piece of granite used for paving a road is a more complex instrument, and there's no doubt about its status as a tool. However, I think it's fair to say that even a piece of gravel found in place and left untouched, as long as it’s recognized as suitable for a road that’s planned to go over that spot, would be considered a tool because of its perceived usefulness, while a similar piece of gravel a yard away on either side of the proposed road would not be a tool.

The essence of a tool, therefore, lies in something outside the tool itself.  It is not in the head of the hammer, nor in the handle, nor in the combination of the two that the essence of mechanical characteristics exists, but in the recognition of its utility and in the forces directed through it in virtue of this recognition.  This appears more plainly when we reflect that a very complex machine, if intended for use by children whose aim is not serious, ceases to rank in our minds as a tool, and becomes a toy.  It is seriousness of aim and recognition of suitability for the achievement of that aim, and not anything in the tool itself, that makes the tool.

The true nature of a tool lies in what’s outside the tool itself. It’s not in the hammerhead, the handle, or even the combination of the two where the mechanical characteristics are found, but in understanding its usefulness and the forces that act through it because of that understanding. This becomes clearer when we think about a complex machine that, if designed for children whose intention isn’t serious, stops being recognized as a tool and instead is seen as a toy. It’s the seriousness of purpose and the recognition that the tool is appropriate for achieving that purpose, not anything inherent in the tool, that defines what a tool is.

The goodness or badness, again, of a tool depends not upon anything within the tool as regarded without relation to the user, but upon the ease or difficulty experienced by the person using it in comparison with what he or others of average capacity would experience if they had used a tool of a different kind.  Thus the same tool may be good for one man and bad for another.

The quality of a tool, whether it's good or bad, doesn't depend on any inherent quality of the tool itself when considered without relating it to the user. It actually depends on how easy or difficult the user finds it to use compared to what they or others with average skill would experience if they used a different type of tool. So, the same tool might work well for one person and poorly for another.

It seems to me that all tools resolve themselves into the hammer and the lever, and that the lever is only an inverted hammer, or the hammer only an inverted lever, whichever one wills; so that all the problems of mechanics are present to us in the simple stone which may be used as a hammer, or in the stick that may be used as a lever, as much as in the most complicated machine.  These are the primordial cells of mechanics.  And an organ is only another name for a tool.

It seems to me that all tools break down into the hammer and the lever, and that the lever is just an upside-down hammer, or the hammer is just an upside-down lever, however you want to look at it; so all the issues of mechanics can be found in the simple stone that can be used as a hammer, or in the stick that can function as a lever, just as much as in the most complex machine. These are the basic building blocks of mechanics. And an organ is just another term for a tool.

Organs and Makeshifts

I have gone out sketching and forgotten my water-dipper; among my traps I always find something that will do, for example, the top of my tin case (for holding pencils).  This is how organs come to change their uses and hence their forms, or at any rate partly how.

I went out sketching and forgot my water container; I always find something among my supplies that works, like the lid of my pencil box. This is how tools end up being repurposed and, in turn, change their shapes, or at least partly how it happens.

Joining and DisjoiningThese are the essence of change.

One of the earliest notes I made, when I began to make notes at all, I found not long ago in an old book, since destroyed, which I had in New Zealand.  It was to the effect that all things are either of the nature of a piece of string or a knife.  That is, they are either for bringing and keeping things together, or for sending and keeping them apart.  Nevertheless each kind contains a little of its opposite and some, as the railway train and the hedge, combine many examples of both.  Thus the train, on the whole, is used for bringing things together, but it is also used for sending them apart, and its divisions into classes are alike for separating and keeping together.  The hedge is also both for joining things (as a flock of sheep) and for disjoining (as for keeping the sheep from getting into corn).  These are the more immediate ends.  The ulterior ends, both of train and hedge, so far as we are concerned, and so far as anything can have an end, are the bringing or helping to bring meat or dairy produce into contact with man’s inside, or wool on to his back, or that he may go in comfort somewhere to converse with people and join his soul on to theirs, or please himself by getting something to come within the range of his senses or imagination.

One of the first notes I made when I started taking notes was something I found not too long ago in an old book, which is now destroyed, that I had in New Zealand. It said that everything is either like a piece of string or a knife. In other words, things are either for bringing and keeping things together or for separating and keeping them apart. However, each type contains a bit of its opposite, and some things, like a railway train and a hedge, combine examples of both. The train is mainly used for bringing things together, but it also sends things apart, and its classes serve to both separate and keep things together. The hedge also connects things (like a flock of sheep) and separates them (like keeping sheep out of corn). These are the immediate purposes. The deeper purposes of both the train and the hedge, as far as we are concerned and as far as anything can have a purpose, are to help bring food or dairy products into contact with our bodies, or wool onto our backs, or to comfortably go somewhere to talk to others and connect with them, or to fulfill our desires by experiencing something within our senses or imagination.

A piece of string is a thing that, in the main, makes for togetheriness; whereas a knife is, in the main, a thing that makes for splitty-uppiness; still, there is an odour of togetheriness hanging about a knife also, for it tends to bring potatoes into a man’s stomach.

A piece of string is something that generally brings people together; while a knife, on the other hand, usually divides things. Still, there’s a hint of togetherness about a knife too, since it helps get potatoes into a person’s stomach.

In high philosophy one should never look at a knife without considering it also as a piece of string, nor at a piece of string without considering it also as a knife.

In deep philosophy, you should never view a knife without also thinking of it as a piece of string, nor should you look at a piece of string without also seeing it as a knife.

Cotton Factories

Surely the work done by the body is, in one way, more its true life than its limbs and organisation are.  Which is the more true life of a great cotton factory—the bales of goods which it turns out for the world’s wearing or the machinery whereby its ends are achieved?  The manufacture is only possible by reason of the machinery; it is produced by this.  The machinery only exists in virtue of its being capable of producing the manufacture; it is produced for this.  The machinery represents the work done by the factory that turned it out.

Surely the work done by the body is, in a way, more its true life than its limbs and structure are. Which represents the true essence of a great cotton factory—the bales of goods it produces for the world or the machinery that makes it happen? The manufacturing is only possible because of the machinery; it is created by this. The machinery exists only because it can produce the goods; it is created for this. The machinery reflects the work done by the factory that produced it.

Somehow or other when we think of a factory we think rather of the fabric and mechanism than of the work, and so we think of a man’s life and living body as constituting himself rather than of the work that the life and living body turn out.  The instinct being as strong as it is, I suppose it sound, but it seems as though the life should be held to be quite as much in the work itself as in the tools that produce it—and perhaps more.

Somehow, when we think of a factory, we tend to focus more on the materials and machines than on the work being done. Similarly, we see a person's life and physical presence as defining who they are rather than considering the work they create. While this instinct is strong and probably valid, it seems like life should be seen as equally tied to the work itself as it is to the tools that produce it—and maybe even more so.

Our Trivial Bodies

i

Though we think so much of our body, it is in reality a small part of us.  Before birth we get together our tools, in life we use them, and thus fashion our true life which consists not in our tools and tool-box but in the work we have done with our tools.  It is Handel’s work, not the body with which he did the work, that pulls us half over London.  There is not an action of a muscle in a horse’s leg upon a winter’s night as it drags a carriage to the Albert Hall but is in connection with, and part outcome of, the force generated when Handel sat in his room at Gopsall and wrote the Messiah.  Think of all the forces which that force has controlled, and think, also, how small was the amount of molecular disturbance from which it proceeded.  It is as though we saw a conflagration which a spark had kindled.  This is the true Handel, who is a more living power among us one hundred and twenty-two years after his death than during the time he was amongst us in the body.

Though we value our bodies so much, they are actually just a small part of us. Before we’re born, we gather our tools, and during our lives, we use them, shaping our true existence, which isn’t about our tools themselves but about the work we have accomplished with them. It’s Handel’s music, not the body he used to create it, that draws us all across London. Every movement of a horse’s leg on a winter night as it pulls a carriage to the Albert Hall is connected to the energy that was generated when Handel sat in his room at Gopsall and composed the Messiah. Consider all the forces influenced by that energy, and also reflect on how tiny the initial disturbance was that set it in motion. It’s like witnessing a massive fire ignited by a single spark. This is the true Handel, who is a more vibrant presence among us one hundred and twenty-two years after his death than he was during his lifetime.

ii

The whole life of some people is a kind of partial death—a long, lingering death-bed, so to speak, of stagnation and nonentity on which death is but the seal, or solemn signing, as the abnegation of all further act and deed on the part of the signer.  Death robs these people of even that little strength which they appeared to have and gives them nothing but repose.

The entire lives of some people feel like a kind of half-death—a slow, dragging deathbed of stagnation and insignificance where death is just the final seal, or formal signature, indicating they can no longer act or do anything. Death takes away even the little strength they seemed to have and gives them nothing but rest.

On others, again, death confers a more living kind of life than they can ever possibly have enjoyed while to those about them they seemed to be alive.  Look at Shakespeare; can he be properly said to have lived in anything like his real life till a hundred years or so after his death?  His physical life was but as a dawn preceding the sunrise of that life of the world to come which he was to enjoy hereafter.  True, there was a little stir—a little abiding of shepherds in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night—a little buzzing in knots of men waiting to be hired before the daybreak—a little stealthy movement as of a burglar or two here and there—an inchoation of life.  But the true life of the man was after death and not before it.

On some people, death gives them a kind of life that's more vibrant than they ever experienced while they seemed alive to those around them. Take Shakespeare, for instance; can we really say he truly lived until about a hundred years after he died? His physical life was just a dawn before the sunrise of the impactful life he would enjoy later on. Sure, there was a bit of activity—a few shepherds in the fields watching over their flocks at night—a bit of chatter among groups of men waiting to be hired before dawn—a few sneaky movements of a burglar or two here and there—a beginning of life. But the man's true life came after his death, not before it.

Death is not more the end of some than it is the beginning of others.  So he that loses his soul may find it, and he that finds may lose it.

Death is not just the end for some people, nor is it the beginning for others. So, the person who loses their soul might find it again, and the one who finds it might end up losing it.

p. 24II
Elementary Morality

The Foundations of Morality

i

These are like all other foundations; if you dig too much about them the superstructure will come tumbling down.

These are just like any other foundations; if you dig too deep around them, the whole structure will collapse.

ii

The foundations which we would dig about and find are within us, like the Kingdom of Heaven, rather than without.

The foundations we should explore and discover are within us, like the Kingdom of Heaven, rather than outside of us.

iii

To attempt to get at the foundations is to try to recover consciousness about things that have passed into the unconscious stage; it is pretty sure to disturb and derange those who try it on too much.

To try to uncover the foundations means attempting to bring awareness to things that have slipped into the unconscious; it's likely to upset and confuse those who try it too intensely.

Counsels of Imperfection

It is all very well for mischievous writers to maintain that we cannot serve God and Mammon.  Granted that it is not easy, but nothing that is worth doing ever is easy.  Easy or difficult, possible or impossible, not only has the thing got to be done, but it is exactly in doing it that the whole duty of man consists.  And when the righteous man turneth away from his righteousness that he hath committed and doeth that which is neither quite lawful nor quite right, he will generally be found to have gained in amiability what he has lost in holiness.

It’s easy for cheeky writers to say that we can’t serve both God and money. Sure, it’s not simple, but nothing worthwhile ever is. Whether it’s easy or hard, possible or impossible, we have to get it done, and that’s where the entire duty of humans lies. When a good person strays from their righteousness and does something that isn’t entirely legal or right, they usually end up being more likable but lose some of their holiness.

If there are two worlds at all (and that there are I have no doubt) it stands to reason that we ought to make the best of both of them, and more particularly of the one with which we are most immediately concerned.  It is as immoral to be too good as to be too anything else.  The Christian morality is just as immoral as any other.  It is at once very moral and very immoral.  How often do we not see children ruined through the virtues, real or supposed, of their parents?  Truly he visiteth the virtues of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation.  The most that can be said for virtue is that there is a considerable balance in its favour, and that it is a good deal better to be for it than against it; but it lets people in very badly sometimes.

If there are two worlds at all (and I'm sure there are), it's only logical that we should make the most of both, especially the one that directly affects us. It's just as wrong to be too good as it is to be too anything else. Christian morality is just as flawed as any other. It can be very moral and very immoral at the same time. How often do we see children getting harmed because of the supposed virtues of their parents? Truly, he visits the virtues of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generation. The most that can be said for virtue is that it typically has a lot going for it, and it's definitely better to support it than to oppose it; but sometimes, it really causes problems.

If you wish to understand virtue you must be sub-vicious; for the really virtuous man, who is fully under grace, will be virtuous unconsciously and will know nothing about it.  Unless a man is out-and-out virtuous he is sub-vicious.

If you want to understand virtue, you need to be somewhat vicious; because the truly virtuous person, who is completely filled with grace, will be virtuous without even realizing it. Unless a person is truly virtuous, they are somewhat vicious.

Virtue is, as it were, the repose of sleep or death.  Vice is the awakening to the knowledge of good and evil—without which there is no life worthy of the name.  Sleep is, in a way, a happier, more peaceful state than waking and, in a way, death may be said to be better than life, but it is in a very small way.  We feel such talk to be blasphemy against good life and, whatever we may say in death’s favour, so long as we do not blow our brains out we show that we do not mean to be taken seriously.  To know good, other than as a heavy sleeper, we must know vice also.  There cannot, as Bacon said, be a “Hold fast that which is good” without a “Prove all things” going before it.  There is no knowledge of good without a knowledge of evil also, and this is why all nations have devils as well as gods, and regard them with sneaking kindness.  God without the devil is dead, being alone.

Virtue is like the calmness of sleep or death. Vice is the awareness of good and evil—without which life isn't truly meaningful. Sleep can be seen as a happier, more peaceful state than being awake, and in some ways, death might seem better than life, but that's only to a small extent. We see such ideas as disrespectful to a good life, and no matter how much we might praise death, as long as we don’t take drastic measures, we show that we don't intend to be taken seriously. To understand good, beyond just being a heavy sleeper, we must also understand vice. There can't be a “Hold fast that which is good” without first having a “Prove all things,” as Bacon said. There's no understanding of good without also knowing evil, which is why all cultures have both devils and gods and often regard them with a strange fondness. God, without the devil, is lifeless, existing in solitude.

Lucifer

We call him at once the Angel of Light and the Angel of Darkness: is this because we instinctively feel that no one can know much till he has sinned much—or because we feel that extremes meet, or how?

We refer to him as both the Angel of Light and the Angel of Darkness: is this because we instinctively understand that no one can truly know much until they've sinned a lot—or because we sense that extremes connect, or what?

The Oracle in Erewhon

The answer given by the oracle was originally written concerning any vice—say drunkenness, but it applies to many another—and I wrote not “sins” but “knows”: [26]

The answer from the oracle was first written about any vice—like drunkenness—but it relates to many others as well—and I wrote not “sins” but “knows”: [26]

He who knows aught
Knows more than he ought;
But he who knows nought
Has much to be taught.

He who knows anything
Knows more than he should;
But he who knows nothing
Has a lot to learn.

God’s Laws

The true laws of God are the laws of our own well-being.

The true laws of God are the laws that contribute to our well-being.

Physical Excellence

The question whether such and such a course of conduct does or does not do physical harm is the safest test by which to try the question whether it is moral or no.  If it does no harm to the body we ought to be very chary of calling it immoral, while if it tends towards physical excellence there should be no hesitation in calling it moral.  In the case of those who are not forced to over-work themselves—and there are many who work themselves to death from mere inability to restrain the passion for work, which masters them as the craving for drink masters a drunkard—over-work in these cases is as immoral as over-eating or drinking.  This, so far as the individual is concerned.  With regard to the body politic as a whole, it is, no doubt, well that there should be some men and women so built that they cannot be stopped from working themselves to death, just as it is unquestionably well that there should be some who cannot be stopped from drinking themselves to death, if only that they may keep the horror of the habit well in evidence.

The question of whether a certain action causes physical harm is the best way to determine if it's moral or not. If it doesn't harm the body, we should be cautious about labeling it as immoral, while if it promotes physical well-being, we should confidently call it moral. In cases where individuals are not forced to overwork themselves—and many do push themselves to the brink from an inability to control their work obsession, similar to how a drunkard is controlled by their craving for alcohol—overworking in these situations is just as immoral as overeating or overdrinking. This mainly applies to the individual. Regarding society as a whole, it’s important to have some people who can’t stop working themselves to death, just as it’s also important to have some who can’t stop drinking themselves to death, as they serve as a reminder of the dangers of such habits.

Intellectual Self-Indulgence

Intellectual over-indulgence is the most gratuitous and disgraceful form which excess can take, nor is there any the consequences of which are more disastrous.

Intellectual overindulgence is the most unnecessary and shameful form that excess can take, and its consequences are often the most disastrous.

Dodging Fatigue

When fatigued, I find it rests me to write very slowly with attention to the formation of each letter.  I am often thus able to go on when I could not otherwise do so.

When I'm tired, I feel like it helps me to write really slowly while paying close attention to how I form each letter. It often allows me to keep going when I wouldn't be able to otherwise.

Vice and Virtue

i

Virtue is something which it would be impossible to over-rate if it had not been over-rated.  The world can ill spare any vice which has obtained long and largely among civilised people.  Such a vice must have some good along with its deformities.  The question “How, if every one were to do so and so?” may be met with another “How, if no one were to do it?”  We are a body corporate as well as a collection of individuals.

Virtue is something that could never be overvalued if it hadn’t already been overvalued. The world can hardly afford to lose any vice that has been widely accepted among civilized people. Such a vice must have some value alongside its flaws. The question “What if everyone did this or that?” can be countered with “What if no one did it?” We are both a community and a group of individuals.

As a matter of private policy I doubt whether the moderately vicious are more unhappy than the moderately virtuous; “Very vicious” is certainly less happy than “Tolerably virtuous,” but this is about all.  What pass muster as the extremes of virtue probably make people quite as unhappy as extremes of vice do.

As a private belief, I question whether people who are somewhat bad are any unhappier than those who are somewhat good; "very bad" is definitely less happy than "fairly good," but that's about it. What are considered the extremes of virtue likely make people just as unhappy as the extremes of vice do.

The truest virtue has ever inclined toward excess rather than asceticism; that she should do this is reasonable as well as observable, for virtue should be as nice a calculator of chances as other people and will make due allowance for the chance of not being found out.  Virtue knows that it is impossible to get on without compromise, and tunes herself, as it were, a trifle sharp to allow for an inevitable fall in playing.  So the Psalmist says, “If thou, Lord, wilt be extreme to mark what is done amiss: O Lord who may abide it?” and by this he admits that the highest conceivable form of virtue still leaves room for some compromise with vice.  So again Shakespeare writes, “They say, best men are moulded out of faults; And, for the most, become much more the better For being a little bad.”

The truest virtue has always leaned more toward excess than self-denial; it's reasonable and noticeable that virtue should be as astute a calculator of risks as anyone else and should factor in the possibility of not getting caught. Virtue understands that you can't get by without compromises, and it adjusts itself slightly to account for the inevitable mistakes that come up. As the Psalmist says, “If you, Lord, were to be strict about our misdeeds, who could stand?” This acknowledges that even the highest form of virtue allows for some leeway with wrongdoing. Similarly, Shakespeare writes, “They say that the best people are shaped by their faults; and for the most part, they’re often much better for being a little flawed.”

ii

The extremes of vice and virtue are alike detestable; absolute virtue is as sure to kill a man as absolute vice is, let alone the dullnesses of it and the pomposities of it.

The extremes of bad and good are equally disgusting; being completely good can be just as detrimental to a person as being completely bad, not to mention the boring aspects of it and the arrogance that comes with it.

iii

God does not intend people, and does not like people, to be too good.  He likes them neither too good nor too bad, but a little too bad is more venial with him than a little too good.

God doesn’t want people to be overly good, and He doesn’t like them to be either too good or too bad. However, being a little bad is more forgivable to Him than being a little too good.

iv

As there is less difference than we generally think between the happiness of men who seem to differ widely in fortune, so is there also less between their moral natures; the best are not so much better than the worst, nor the worst so much below the best as we suppose; and the bad are just as important an element in the general progress as the good, or perhaps more so.  It is in strife that life lies, and were there no opposing forces there would be neither moral nor immoral, neither victory nor defeat.

As there is less difference than we usually think between the happiness of people who seem to have very different fortunes, there is also less difference between their moral natures; the best aren’t so much better than the worst, nor are the worst so much lower than the best as we assume; and the bad are just as important to the overall progress as the good, or maybe even more so. Life is found in the struggle, and if there were no opposing forces, there would be neither moral nor immoral, neither victory nor defeat.

v

If virtue had everything her own way she would be as insufferable as dominant factions generally are.  It is the function of vice to keep virtue within reasonable bounds.

If virtue had everything her way, she would be as unbearable as dominant groups usually are. It's the role of vice to keep virtue in check.

vi

Virtue has never yet been adequately represented by any who have had any claim to be considered virtuous.  It is the sub-vicious who best understand virtue.  Let the virtuous people stick to describing vice—which they can do well enough.

Virtue has never been effectively represented by anyone who claims to be virtuous. It's the less virtuous who truly understand virtue. Let the virtuous stick to describing vice—something they can do quite well.

My Virtuous Life

I have led a more virtuous life than I intended, or thought I was leading.  When I was young I thought I was vicious: now I know that I was not and that my unconscious knowledge was sounder than my conscious.  I regret some things that I have done, but not many.  I regret that so many should think I did much which I never did, and should know of what I did in so garbled and distorted a fashion as to have done me much mischief.  But if things were known as they actually happened, I believe I should have less to be ashamed of than a good many of my neighbours—and less also to be proud of.

I have lived a more virtuous life than I intended or thought I was leading. When I was younger, I believed I was vicious; now I know that I wasn’t, and my subconscious understanding was more accurate than my conscious thoughts. I regret some things I’ve done, but not many. I regret that so many people think I did things I never did, and that they know about what I did in such a twisted and inaccurate way that it has caused me a lot of trouble. But if things were known as they actually happened, I believe I would have less to be ashamed of than many of my neighbors—and also less to be proud of.

Sin

Sin is like a mountain with two aspects according to whether it is viewed before or after it has been reached: yet both aspects are real.

Sin is like a mountain with two sides, depending on whether you look at it before you reach it or after: both sides are real.

Morality

turns on whether the pleasure precedes or follows the pain.  Thus, it is immoral to get drunk because the headache comes after the drinking, but if the headache came first, and the drunkenness afterwards, it would be moral to get drunk.

turns on whether the pleasure comes before or after the pain. Thus, it's wrong to get drunk because the headache follows the drinking, but if the headache came first and the drunkenness followed, it would be acceptable to get drunk.

Change and Immorality

Every discovery and, indeed, every change of any sort is immoral, as tending to unsettle men’s minds, and hence their custom and hence their morals, which are the net residuum of their “mores” or customs.  Wherefrom it should follow that there is nothing so absolutely moral as stagnation, except for this that, if perfect, it would destroy all mores whatever.  So there must always be an immorality in morality and, in like manner, a morality in immorality.  For there will be an element of habitual and legitimate custom even in the most unhabitual and detestable things that can be done at all.

Every discovery and, really, every kind of change is immoral because it tends to disturb people's minds, leading to changes in their customs and, consequently, their morals, which are the end result of their traditions. This suggests that nothing is as completely moral as stagnation, except that if it were perfect, it would eliminate all customs altogether. Therefore, there will always be some immorality within morality and similarly, some morality within immorality. Even the most unusual and detestable actions will contain a trace of established and accepted customs.

Cannibalism

Morality is the custom of one’s country and the current feeling of one’s peers.  Cannibalism is moral in a cannibal country.

Morality is based on the customs of a person's country and the prevailing attitudes of their peers. In a society of cannibals, cannibalism is considered moral.

Abnormal Developments

If a man can get no other food it is more natural for him to kill another man and eat him than to starve.  Our horror is rather at the circumstances that make it natural for the man to do this than at the man himself.  So with other things the desire for which is inherited through countless ancestors, it is more natural for men to obtain the nearest thing they can to these, even by the most abnormal means if the ordinary channels are closed, than to forego them altogether.  The abnormal growth should be regarded as disease but, nevertheless, as showing more health and vigour than no growth at all would do.  I said this in Life and Habit (ch. iii. p. 52) when I wrote “it is more righteous in a man that he should eat strange food and that his cheek so much as lank not, than that he should starve if the strange food be at his command.” [30]

If a man can’t find any other food, it’s more natural for him to kill another man and eat him than to starve. Our horror is more about the circumstances that make it natural for the man to do this than about the man himself. Likewise, when it comes to other things that we’ve inherited from countless ancestors, it’s more normal for people to get the closest thing they can, even through the strangest methods, if the usual ways are blocked, than to give them up completely. This abnormal growth should be seen as a disease, but it still shows more health and vitality than having no growth at all. I discussed this in Life and Habit (ch. iii. p. 52) when I wrote, “it is more righteous for a man to eat strange food and not let his cheek hang gaunt, than for him to starve if the strange food is within his reach.” [30]

Young People

With regard to sexual matters, the best opinion of our best medical men, the practice of those nations which have proved most vigorous and comely, the evils that have followed this or that, the good that has attended upon the other should be ascertained by men who, being neither moral nor immoral and not caring two straws what the conclusion arrived at might be, should desire only to get hold of the best available information.  The result should be written down with some fulness and put before the young of both sexes as soon as they are old enough to understand such matters at all.  There should be no mystery or reserve.  None but the corrupt will wish to corrupt facts; honest people will accept them eagerly, whatever they may prove to be, and will convey them to others as accurately as they can.  On what pretext therefore can it be well that knowledge should be withheld from the universal gaze upon a matter of such universal interest?  It cannot be pretended that there is nothing to be known on these matters beyond what unaided boys and girls can be left without risk to find out for themselves.  Not one in a hundred who remembers his own boyhood will say this.  How, then, are they excusable who have the care of young people and yet leave a matter of such vital importance so almost absolutely to take care of itself, although they well know how common error is, how easy to fall into and how disastrous in its effects both upon the individual and the race?

When it comes to sexual matters, the best insights from our top medical experts, the practices of those cultures that have shown the most strength and attractiveness, the problems that have come from this or that approach, and the benefits that have come from others should be gathered by people who are neither moral nor immoral and who don’t care what the outcome is. Their only goal should be to gather the best information available. The findings should be documented in detail and presented to young people of all genders as soon as they are mature enough to understand these topics. There should be no secrets or hesitations. Only those who are corrupt will try to distort facts; honest individuals will accept them willingly, regardless of what they reveal, and will share them with others as accurately as possible. On what grounds can it be justified that knowledge should be kept from everyone about something that matters to so many? It can't be claimed that there's nothing to learn beyond what unassisted boys and girls can safely discover for themselves. Not one in a hundred who remembers their own youth would say this. So, how can those responsible for young people justify leaving such a crucial topic largely unmanaged, especially when they are fully aware of how common misconceptions are, how easy it is to fall into them, and how damaging they can be both for individuals and society?

Next to sexual matters there are none upon which there is such complete reserve between parents and children as on those connected with money.  The father keeps his affairs as closely as he can to himself and is most jealous of letting his children into a knowledge of how he manages his money.  His children are like monks in a monastery as regards money and he calls this training them up with the strictest regard to principle.  Nevertheless he thinks himself ill-used if his son, on entering life, falls a victim to designing persons whose knowledge of how money is made and lost is greater than his own.

Next to sexual issues, there’s nothing that parents and children avoid discussing more than money. The father keeps his finances as private as possible and is protective about letting his kids know how he handles his money. His children are like monks in a monastery when it comes to finances, and he believes he’s raising them with the utmost respect for principles. Yet, he feels wronged if his son, upon starting his own life, becomes a target for manipulative people who understand money better than he does.

The Family

i

I believe that more unhappiness comes from this source than from any other—I mean from the attempt to prolong family connection unduly and to make people hang together artificially who would never naturally do so.  The mischief among the lower classes is not so great, but among the middle and upper classes it is killing a large number daily.  And the old people do not really like it much better than the young.

I think more unhappiness comes from this than anything else—I'm talking about trying to force family connections and make people stick together artificially when they wouldn't normally. The problems aren't as severe among the lower classes, but among the middle and upper classes, it's harming a lot of people every day. And honestly, older people don’t enjoy it much more than younger folks do.

ii

On my way down to Shrewsbury some time since I read the Bishop of Carlisle’s Walks in the Regions of Science and Faith, [31] then just published, and found the following on p. 129 in the essay which is entitled “Man’s Place in Nature.”  After saying that young sparrows or robins soon lose sight of their fellow-nestlings and leave off caring for them, the bishop continues:—

On my way to Shrewsbury a while ago, I read the Bishop of Carlisle’s Walks in the Regions of Science and Faith, [31] which had just been published, and found the following on page 129 in the essay titled “Man’s Place in Nature.” After mentioning that young sparrows or robins quickly lose track of their nestmates and stop taking care of them, the bishop continues:—

“Whereas ‘children of one family’ are constantly found joined together by a love which only grows with years, and they part for their posts of duty in the world with the hope of having joyful meetings from time to time, and of meeting in a higher world when their life on earth is finished.”

“Whereas ‘children of one family’ are always connected by a love that only deepens over the years, they leave for their responsibilities in the world with the hope of joyful reunions from time to time, and of meeting again in a better world when their life on earth is over.”

I am sure my great-grandfather did not look forward to meeting his father in heaven—his father had cut him out of his will; nor can I credit my grandfather with any great longing to rejoin my great-grandfather—a worthy man enough, but one with whom nothing ever prospered.  I am certain my father, after he was 40, did not wish to see my grandfather any more—indeed, long before reaching that age he had decided that Dr. Butler’s life should not be written, though R. W. Evans would have been only too glad to write it.  Speaking for myself, I have no wish to see my father again, and I think it likely that the Bishop of Carlisle would not be more eager to see his than I mine.

I’m sure my great-grandfather wasn’t looking forward to meeting his father in heaven—his father had cut him out of his will. I can’t imagine my grandfather feeling any strong desire to reunite with my great-grandfather—a decent man, but one who never seemed to succeed at anything. I’m pretty sure my father, after turning 40, didn’t want to see my grandfather again—actually, long before that age, he had decided that Dr. Butler’s life shouldn’t be written about, even though R. W. Evans would have been more than happy to write it. As for me, I have no desire to see my father again, and I believe the Bishop of Carlisle would be just as uninterested in seeing his father as I am in seeing mine.

Unconscious Humour

“Writing to the Hon. Mrs. Watson in 1856, Charles Dickens says: ‘I have always observed within my experience that the men who have left home very young have, many long years afterwards, had the tenderest regard for it.  That’s a pleasant thing to think of as one of the wise adjustments of this life of ours.’” [32a]

“Writing to the Hon. Mrs. Watson in 1856, Charles Dickens says: ‘I’ve always noticed in my experience that the men who left home when they were very young have, many years later, held the fondest feelings for it. That’s a nice thought to have as one of the smart arrangements of this life we live.’” [32a]

Homer’s Odyssey

From the description of the meeting between Ulysses and Telemachus it is plain that Homer considered it quite as dreadful for relations who had long been separated to come together again as for them to separate in the first instance.  And this is about true. [32b]

From the description of the meeting between Ulysses and Telemachus, it's clear that Homer viewed it as just as terrible for relatives who had been apart for a long time to reunite as it was for them to separate in the first place. And this is pretty accurate. [32b]

Melchisedec

He was a really happy man.  He was without father, without mother and without descent.  He was an incarnate bachelor.  He was a born orphan.

He was a truly happy man. He had no father, no mother, and no background. He was the ultimate bachelor. He was a natural orphan.

Bacon for Breakfast

Now [1893] when I am abroad, being older and taking less exercise, I do not want any breakfast beyond coffee and bread and butter, but when this note was written [1880] I liked a modest rasher of bacon in addition, and used to notice the jealous indignation with which heads of families who enjoyed the privilege of Cephas and the brethren of our Lord regarded it.  There were they with three or four elderly unmarried daughters as well as old mamma—how could they afford bacon?  And there was I, a selfish bachelor—.  The appetising, savoury smell of my rasher seemed to drive them mad.  I used to feel very uncomfortable, very small and quite aware how low it was of me to have bacon for breakfast and no daughters instead of daughters and no bacon.  But when I consulted the oracles of heaven about it, I was always told to stick to my bacon and not to make a fool of myself.  I despised myself but have not withered under my own contempt so completely as I ought to have done.

Now [1893], when I’m abroad, being older and exercising less, I don’t want any breakfast beyond coffee and bread and butter. But when this note was written [1880], I enjoyed a modest piece of bacon on the side and often noticed the jealous indignation of family heads who had the privilege of Cephas and the brothers of our Lord regarding it. There they were, with three or four elderly unmarried daughters as well as an old mama—how could they afford bacon? And there I was, a selfish bachelor. The delicious, savory smell of my bacon seemed to drive them mad. I felt very uncomfortable, small, and completely aware of how low it was for me to have bacon for breakfast while they had daughters instead of bacon and no daughters. But when I consulted the oracles of heaven about it, I was always told to stick to my bacon and not to make a fool of myself. I despised myself but haven't completely withered under my own contempt as I probably should have.

God and Man

To love God is to have good health, good looks, good sense, experience, a kindly nature and a fair balance of cash in hand.  “We know that all things work together for good to them that love God.”  To be loved by God is the same as to love Him.  We love Him because He first loved us.

To love God is to be healthy, attractive, sensible, experienced, kind, and to have a decent amount of money. “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God.” Being loved by God is the same as loving Him. We love Him because He loved us first.

The Homeric Deity and the Pall Mall Gazette

A writer in the Pall Mall Gazette (I think in 1874 or 1875, and in the autumn months, but I cannot now remember) summed up Homer’s conception of a god as that of a “superlatively strong, amorous, beautiful, brave and cunning man.”  This is pretty much what a good working god ought to be, but he should also be kind and have a strong sense of humour, together with a contempt for the vices of meanness and for the meannesses of virtue.  After saying what I have quoted above the writer in the Pall Mall Gazette goes on, “An impartial critic can judge for himself how far, if at all, this is elevated above the level of mere fetish worship.”  Perhaps it is that I am not an impartial critic, but, if I am allowed to be so, I should say that the elevation above mere fetish worship was very considerable.

A writer in the Pall Mall Gazette (I think in 1874 or 1875, during the fall months, but I can't remember exactly) described Homer's view of a god as a “superlatively strong, amorous, beautiful, brave and cunning man.” This is pretty much what a good working god should be, but he should also be kind and have a strong sense of humor, along with a disdain for the flaws of meanness and the pettiness of virtue. After stating what I quoted above, the writer in the Pall Mall Gazette continues, “An impartial critic can judge for himself how far, if at all, this is elevated above the level of mere fetish worship.” Maybe it’s because I’m not an impartial critic, but if I may offer my opinion, I would say that the elevation above mere fetish worship was quite significant.

Good Breeding the Summum Bonum

When people ask what faith we would substitute for that which we would destroy, we answer that we destroy no faith and need substitute none.  We hold the glory of God to be the summum bonum, and so do Christians generally.  It is on the question of what is the glory of God that we join issue.  We say it varies with the varying phases of God as made manifest in his works, but that, so far as we are ourselves concerned, the glory of God is best advanced by advancing that of man.  If asked what is the glory of man we answer “Good breeding”—using the words in their double sense and meaning both the continuance of the race and that grace of manner which the words are more commonly taken to signify.  The double sense of the words is all the more significant for the unconsciousness with which it is passed over.

When people ask what faith we would replace the one we aim to dismantle, we respond that we aren't destroying any faith and don't need to replace any. We believe that the glory of God is the highest good, and most Christians do as well. The disagreement lies in what the glory of God actually is. We argue that it changes with the different ways God is revealed through his creations, but for us, the glory of God is best served by uplifting humanity. If asked what the glory of man is, we say “Good breeding”—using the term in both its meanings, referring to both the survival of the human race and the grace of conduct that people commonly associate with the phrase. The dual meaning of the words is even more noteworthy because it goes unnoticed.

Advice to the Young

You will sometimes find your elders laying their heads together and saying what a bad thing it is for young men to come into a little money—that those always do best who have no expectancy, and the like.  They will then quote some drivel from one of the Kingsleys about the deadening effect an income of £300 a year will have upon a man.  Avoid any one whom you may hear talk in this way.  The fault lies not with the legacy (which would certainly be better if there were more of it) but with those who have so mismanaged our education that we go in even greater danger of losing the money than other people are.

You’ll sometimes find older folks huddled together, complaining about how bad it is for young men to come into a bit of money—claiming that those who have no expectations always do better, and so on. They’ll quote some nonsense from one of the Kingsleys about how an income of £300 a year will dull a man’s edge. Stay away from anyone who talks like that. The problem isn’t the inheritance (which would definitely be better if there were more of it), but with those who have so poorly managed our education that we’re at even greater risk of losing the money than others are.

Religion

Is there any religion whose followers can be pointed to as distinctly more amiable and trustworthy than those of any other?  If so, this should be enough.  I find the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions.

Is there any religion whose followers are clearly more friendly and trustworthy than those of any other? If there is, that should be enough. I notice that the nicest and best people usually don't follow any religion at all, but they are willing to appreciate the best among all religions.

Heaven and Hell

Heaven is the work of the best and kindest men and women.  Hell is the work of prigs, pedants and professional truth-tellers.  The world is an attempt to make the best of both.

Heaven is created by the best and kindest people. Hell is made by self-righteous, nitpicking know-it-alls and so-called truth-tellers. The world is an effort to balance both.

Priggishness

The essence of priggishness is setting up to be better than one’s neighbour.  Better may mean more virtuous, more clever, more agreeable or what not.  The worst of it is that one cannot do anything outside eating one’s dinner or taking a walk without setting up to know more than one’s neighbours.  It was this that made me say in Life and Habit [close of ch. ii.] that I was among the damned in that I wrote at all.  So I am; and I am often very sorry that I was never able to reach those more saintly classes who do not set up as instructors of other people.  But one must take one’s lot.

The core of being priggish is trying to be better than your neighbor. Better might mean more virtuous, smarter, more likable, or whatever else. The worst part is that you can’t do anything—aside from having lunch or going for a walk—without trying to act like you know more than those around you. That’s why I mentioned in Life and Habit [close of ch. ii.] that I felt like I was among the damned for writing at all. And I do; I often regret that I could never reach those more saintly groups who don’t pose as teachers for others. But you have to accept your fate.

Lohengrin

He was a prig.  In the bedroom scene with Elsa he should have said that her question put him rather up a tree but that, as she wanted to know who he was, he would tell her and would let the Holy Grail slide.

He was a snob. In the bedroom scene with Elsa, he should have said that her question really put him in a tough spot, but since she wanted to know who he was, he would tell her and let the Holy Grail go.

Swells

People ask complainingly what swells have done, or do, for society that they should be able to live without working.  The good swell is the creature towards which all nature has been groaning and travailing together until now.  He is an ideal.  He shows what may be done in the way of good breeding, health, looks, temper and fortune.  He realises men’s dreams of themselves, at any rate vicariously.  He preaches the gospel of grace.  The world is like a spoilt child, it has this good thing given it at great expense and then says it is useless!

People often complain about what wealthy people have done, or do, for society that allows them to live without working. The good wealthy person is the result of all of nature's efforts up to this point. They are an ideal. They demonstrate what can be achieved in terms of good upbringing, health, appearance, temperament, and fortune. They fulfill people’s dreams of themselves, even if only indirectly. They share the message of grace. The world is like a spoiled child; it is given this valuable thing at great cost and then claims it is useless!

Science and Religion

These are reconciled in amiable and sensible people but nowhere else.

These are resolved in friendly and reasonable people but nowhere else.

Gentleman

If we are asked what is the most essential characteristic that underlies this word, the word itself will guide us to gentleness, to absence of such things as brow-beating, overbearing manners and fuss, and generally to consideration for other people.

If we're asked what the most important quality behind this word is, the word itself will lead us to gentleness, to the lack of things like intimidation, domineering behavior, and unnecessary drama, and generally to being considerate of others.

The Finest Men

I suppose an Italian peasant or a Breton, Norman or English fisherman, is about the best thing nature does in the way of men—the richer and the poorer being alike mistakes.

I guess an Italian peasant or a Breton, Norman, or English fisherman is about the best thing nature creates in terms of men—the rich and the poor are both equally flawed.

On being a Swell all Round

I have never in my life succeeded in being this.  Sometimes I get a new suit and am tidy for a while in part, meanwhile the hat, tie, boots, gloves and underclothing all clamour for attention and, before I have got them well in hand, the new suit has lost its freshness.  Still, if ever I do get any money, I will try and make myself really spruce all round till I find out, as I probably shall in about a week, that if I give my clothes an inch they will take an ell.  [1880.]

I have never in my life managed to be this way. Sometimes I get a new suit and look sharp for a bit, but then the hat, tie, boots, gloves, and underwear all start demanding attention, and before I can sort them out, the new suit loses its freshness. Still, if I ever do get some money, I'll try to make myself look really good all over until I find out, probably in about a week, that if I give my clothes a little leeway, they'll end up taking a lot more. [1880.]

Money

is the last enemy that shall never be subdued.  While there is flesh there is money—or the want of money; but money is always on the brain so long as there is a brain in reasonable order.

is the last enemy that will never be conquered. As long as there is flesh, there is money—or the lack of money; but money is always on the mind as long as there is a functioning brain.

A Luxurious Death

Death in anything like luxury is one of the most expensive things a man can indulge himself in.  It costs a lot of money to die comfortably, unless one goes off pretty quickly.

Death in any kind of luxury is one of the most costly things a person can treat themselves to. It takes a lot of money to die comfortably, unless one passes away quickly.

Money, Health and Reputation

Money, if it live at all, that is to say if it be reproductive and put out at any interest, however low, is mortal and doomed to be lost one day, though it may go on living through many generations of one single family if it be taken care of.  No man is absolutely safe.  It may be said to any man, “Thou fool, this night thy money shall be required of thee.”  And reputation is like money: it may be required of us without warning.  The little unsuspected evil on which we trip may swell up in a moment and prove to be the huge, Janus-like mountain of unpardonable sin.  And his health may be required of any fool, any night or any day.

Money, if it exists at all, meaning if it can generate more and earn some interest, no matter how small, is temporary and destined to be lost eventually, although it might last through many generations of a single family if managed well. No one is completely safe. It could be said to anyone, “You fool, tonight your money will be taken from you.” And reputation is like money: it can suddenly be demanded from us. The small, unexpected misfortune we stumble upon can suddenly grow into a massive, unforgivable burden. And one's health can be called into question by any fool, at any night or day.

A man will feel loss of money more keenly than loss of bodily health, so long as he can keep his money.  Take his money away and deprive him of the means of earning any more, and his health will soon break up; but leave him his money and, even though his health breaks up and he dies, he does not mind it so much as we think.  Money losses are the worst, loss of health is next worst and loss of reputation comes in a bad third.  All other things are amusements provided money, health and good name are untouched.

A man will feel the loss of money more deeply than the loss of his health, as long as he still has his money. Take his money away and prevent him from earning more, and his health will decline quickly; but if he still has his money, even if his health deteriorates and he dies, he won’t worry about it as much as we think. Losing money is the biggest disappointment, losing health is the second worst, and losing reputation is a distant third. Everything else is just a distraction as long as money, health, and a good name are safe.

Solicitors

A man must not think he can save himself the trouble of being a sensible man and a gentleman by going to his solicitor, any more than he can get himself a sound constitution by going to his doctor; but a solicitor can do more to keep a tolerably well-meaning fool straight than a doctor can do for an invalid.  Money is to the solicitor what souls are to the parson or life to the physician.  He is our money-doctor.

A man shouldn't think he can avoid the effort of being sensible and a gentleman just by visiting his lawyer, any more than he can have a healthy body just by seeing his doctor; however, a lawyer can do more to help a reasonably well-meaning fool stay on track than a doctor can for a sick person. Money is to the lawyer what souls are to the priest or life is to the doctor. He is our money-doctor.

Doctors

Going to your doctor is having such a row with your cells that you refer them to your solicitor.  Sometimes you, as it were, strike against them and stop their food, when they go on strike against yourself.  Sometimes you file a bill in Chancery against them and go to bed.

Going to your doctor is like having a huge argument with your cells that you have to get a lawyer involved. Sometimes you, in a way, rebel against them and cut off their nutrients when they refuse to cooperate with you. Other times, you take legal action against them and then just go to sleep.

Priests

We may find an argument in favour of priests if we consider whether man is capable of doing for himself in respect of his moral and spiritual welfare (than which nothing can be more difficult and intricate) what it is so clearly better for him to leave to professional advisers in the case of his money and his body which are comparatively simple and unimportant.

We might support the idea of priests if we think about whether individuals can handle their own moral and spiritual well-being (which is significantly more complicated and challenging) in the same way they comfortably rely on professionals for managing their money and taking care of their bodies, both of which are relatively straightforward and less significant.

p. 39III
The Germs of Erewhon and of Life and Habit

Prefatory Note

The Origin of Species was published in the autumn of 1859, and Butler arrived in New Zealand about the same time and read the book soon afterwards.  In 1880 he wrote in Unconscious Memory (close of Chapter 1): “As a member of the general public, at that time residing eighteen miles from the nearest human habitation, and three days’ journey on horseback from a bookseller’s shop, I became one of Mr. Darwin’s many enthusiastic admirers, and wrote a philosophic dialogue (the most offensive form, except poetry and books of travel into supposed unknown countries, that even literature can assume) upon the Origin of Species.  This production appeared in the Press, Canterbury, New Zealand, in 1861 or 1862, but I have long lost the only copy I had.”

The Origin of Species was published in the fall of 1859, and Butler arrived in New Zealand around the same time and read the book shortly after. In 1880, he wrote in Unconscious Memory (end of Chapter 1): “As a member of the general public, at that time living eighteen miles from the nearest settlement and a three-day horseback ride from a bookstore, I became one of Mr. Darwin’s many enthusiastic fans, and wrote a philosophical dialogue (the most annoying form, besides poetry and travel books about supposed unknown places, that literature can take) on the Origin of Species. This work was published in the Press, Canterbury, New Zealand, in 1861 or 1862, but I have long lost the only copy I had.”

The Press was founded by James Edward FitzGerald, the first Superintendent of the Province of Canterbury.  Butler was an intimate friend of FitzGerald, was closely associated with the newspaper and frequently wrote for it.  The first number appeared 25th May, 1861, and on 25th May, 1911, the Press celebrated its jubilee with a number which contained particulars of its early life, of its editors, and of Butler; it also contained reprints of two of Butler’s contributions, viz. Darwin among the Machines, which originally appeared in its columns 13 June, 1863, and Lucubratio Ebria, which originally appeared 29 July, 1865.  The Dialogue was not reprinted because, although the editor knew of its existence and searched for it, he could not find it.  At my request, after the appearance of the jubilee number, a further search was made, but the Dialogue was not found and I gave it up for lost.

The Press was started by James Edward FitzGerald, the first Superintendent of the Province of Canterbury. Butler was a close friend of FitzGerald, was actively involved with the newspaper, and often wrote for it. The first issue came out on May 25, 1861, and on May 25, 1911, The Press celebrated its 50th anniversary with an issue that included details about its early days, its editors, and Butler; it also featured reprints of two of Butler's works, namely Darwin among the Machines, which first appeared in its pages on June 13, 1863, and Lucubratio Ebria, which was originally published on July 29, 1865. The Dialogue was not reprinted because, even though the editor knew it existed and looked for it, he couldn't find it. At my request, after the jubilee issue came out, another search was conducted, but the Dialogue still couldn't be found, and I deemed it lost.

In March, 1912, Mr. R. A. Streatfeild pointed out to me that Mr. Tregaskis, in Holborn, was advertising for sale an autograph letter by Charles Darwin sending to an unknown editor a Dialogue on Species from a New Zealand newspaper, described in the letter as being “remarkable from its spirit and from giving so clear and accurate a view of Mr. D.’s theory.”  Having no doubt that this referred to Butler’s lost contribution to the Press, I bought the autograph letter and sent it to New Zealand, where it now is in the Canterbury Museum, Christchurch.  With it I sent a letter to the editor of the Press, giving all further information in my possession about the Dialogue.  This letter, which appeared 1 June, 1912, together with the presentation of Darwin’s autograph, stimulated further search, and in the issue for 20th December, 1862, the Dialogue was found by Miss Colborne-Veel, whose father was editor of the paper at the time Butler was writing for it.  The Press reprinted the Dialogue 8th June, 1912.

In March 1912, Mr. R. A. Streatfeild informed me that Mr. Tregaskis, in Holborn, was advertising an autograph letter from Charles Darwin, which included a Dialogue on Species from a New Zealand newspaper. The letter described the piece as “remarkable for its spirit and for providing such a clear and accurate view of Mr. D.’s theory.” Believing this referred to Butler’s lost contribution to the Press, I purchased the autograph letter and sent it to New Zealand, where it is now housed in the Canterbury Museum, Christchurch. I also sent a letter to the editor of the Press, providing all the additional information I had about the Dialogue. This letter, published on June 1, 1912, along with the presentation of Darwin’s autograph, prompted further searches, leading to Miss Colborne-Veel discovering the Dialogue in the issue from December 20, 1862. Her father was the editor of the paper when Butler was contributing. The Press reprinted the Dialogue on June 8, 1912.

When the Dialogue first appeared it excited a great deal of discussion in the colony and, to quote Butler’s words in a letter to Darwin (1865), “called forth a contemptuous rejoinder from (I believe) the Bishop of Wellington.”  This rejoinder was an article headed “Barrel-Organs,” the idea being that there was nothing new in Darwin’s book, it was only a grinding out of old tunes with which we were all familiar.  Butler alludes to this controversy in a note made on a letter from Darwin which he gave to the British Museum.  “I remember answering an attack (in the Press, New Zealand) on me by Bishop Abraham, of Wellington, as though I were someone else, and, to keep up the deception, attacking myself also.  But it was all very young and silly.”  The bishop’s article and Butler’s reply, which was a letter signed A. M. and some of the resulting correspondence were reprinted in the Press, 15th June, 1912.

When the Dialogue first came out, it sparked a lot of discussion in the colony and, to quote Butler’s words in a letter to Darwin (1865), “provoked a scornful reply from (I believe) the Bishop of Wellington.” This reply was an article titled “Barrel-Organs,” suggesting that there was nothing new in Darwin’s book; it was just rehashing old tunes we were all already familiar with. Butler references this controversy in a note he made on a letter from Darwin that he donated to the British Museum. “I remember responding to an attack (in the Press, New Zealand) on me by Bishop Abraham, of Wellington, as if I were someone else, and to maintain the illusion, I criticized myself too. But it was all very immature and silly.” The bishop’s article and Butler’s response, which was a letter signed A. M. along with some of the ensuing correspondence, were reprinted in the Press on June 15, 1912.

At first I thought of including here the Dialogue, and perhaps the letter signed A. M.  They are interesting as showing that Butler was among the earliest to study closely the Origin of Species, and also as showing the state of his mind before he began to think for himself, before he wrote Darwin among the Machines from which so much followed; but they can hardly be properly considered as germs of Erewhon and Life and Habit.  They rather show the preparation of the soil in which those germs sprouted and grew; and, remembering his last remark on the subject that “it was all very young and silly,” I decided to omit them.  The Dialogue is no longer lost, and the numbers of the Press containing it and the correspondence that ensued can be seen in the British Museum.

At first, I thought about including the Dialogue here, and maybe the letter signed A. M. They’re interesting because they show that Butler was one of the first to closely study the Origin of Species, and also reveal his mindset before he started to think for himself, before he wrote Darwin among the Machines, which led to so much that followed. However, they can hardly be seen as the beginnings of Erewhon and Life and Habit. Instead, they show the groundwork from which those ideas eventually emerged. And since he once remarked that “it was all very young and silly,” I decided to leave them out. The Dialogue is no longer lost, and the issues of the Press containing it along with the related correspondence can be found in the British Museum.

Butler’s other two contributions to the Press mentioned above do contain the germs of the machine chapters in Erewhon, and led him to the theory put forward in Life and Habit.  In 1901 he wrote in the preface to the new and revised edition of Erewhon: “The first part of Erewhon written was an article headed Darwin among the Machines and signed ‘Cellarius.’  It was written in the Upper Rangitata district of Canterbury Province (as it then was) of New Zealand, and appeared at Christchurch in the Press newspaper, June 13, 1863.  A copy of this article is indexed under my books in the British Museum catalogue.”

Butler’s other two contributions to the Press mentioned earlier contain the beginnings of the machine chapters in Erewhon and led him to the theory presented in Life and Habit. In 1901, he wrote in the preface to the new and revised edition of Erewhon: “The first part of Erewhon that I wrote was an article titled Darwin among the Machines, signed ‘Cellarius.’ It was written in the Upper Rangitata district of Canterbury Province (as it was then) in New Zealand and was published in the Press newspaper on June 13, 1863. A copy of this article is listed under my books in the British Museum catalog.”

The article is in the form of a letter, and the copy spoken of by Butler, as indexed under his name in the British Museum, being defective, the reprint which appeared in the jubilee number of the Press has been used in completing the version which follows.

The article is presented as a letter, and the version mentioned by Butler, listed under his name at the British Museum, is incomplete, so the reprint that was published in the jubilee issue of the Press has been used to finalize the version that follows.

Further on in the preface to the 1901 edition of Erewhon he writes: “A second article on the same subject as the one just referred to appeared in the Press shortly after the first, but I have no copy.  It treated machines from a different point of view and was the basis of pp. 270–274 of the present edition of Erewhon.  This view ultimately led me to the theory I put forward in Life and Habit, published in November, 1877. [41]  I have put a bare outline of this theory (which I believe to be quite sound) into the mouth of an Erewhonian professor in Chapter XXVII of this book.”

Further on in the preface to the 1901 edition of Erewhon, he writes: “A second article on the same subject as the one just mentioned appeared in the Press shortly after the first, but I don’t have a copy. It looked at machines from a different perspective and formed the basis of pp. 270–274 of this edition of Erewhon. This perspective eventually led me to the theory I introduced in Life and Habit, published in November 1877. [41] I have given a brief outline of this theory (which I believe to be quite valid) to an Erewhonian professor in Chapter XXVII of this book.”

This second article was Lucubratio Ebria, and was sent by Butler from England to the editor of the Press in 1865, with a letter from which this is an extract:

This second article was Lucubratio Ebria, and was sent by Butler from England to the editor of the Press in 1865, with a letter from which this is an extract:

“I send you an article which you can give to FitzGerald or not, just as you think it most expedient—for him.  Is not the subject worked out, and are not the Canterbury people tired of Darwinism?  For me—is it an article to my credit?  I do not send it to FitzGerald because I am sure he would put it into the paper. . . .  I know the undue lenience which he lends to my performances, and believe you to be the sterner critic of the two.  That there are some good things in it you will, I think, feel; but I am almost sure that considering usque ad nauseam etc., you will think it had better not appear. . . .  I think you and he will like that sentence: ‘There was a moral government of the world before man came into it.’  There is hardly a sentence in it written without deliberation; but I need hardly say that it was done upon tea, not upon whiskey . . .

“I’m sending you an article that you can give to FitzGerald if you think it’s a good idea. Isn't the topic already covered, and aren’t the people in Canterbury tired of Darwinism? As for me—does this article add to my reputation? I’m not sending it to FitzGerald because I know he would publish it. I’m aware of how lenient he is with my work, and I think you're the tougher critic. You’ll probably find some good parts in it, but considering usque ad nauseam etc., I’m sure you’ll decide it’s better not to publish it. I think you and he will like this line: ‘There was a moral government of the world before man came into it.’ Almost every sentence was written with care; but I should mention that it was crafted over tea, not whiskey...”

“P.S.  If you are in any doubt about the expediency of the article take it to M.

“P.S. If you have any doubts about the article's usefulness, show it to M.

“P.P.S.  Perhaps better take it to him anyhow.”

“P.P.S. Maybe it's best to just take it to him after all.”

The preface to the 1901 edition of Erewhon contains some further particulars of the genesis of that work, and there are still further particulars in Unconscious Memory, Chapter II, “How I wrote Life and Habit.”

The preface to the 1901 edition of Erewhon includes additional details about the creation of that work, and there are even more details in Unconscious Memory, Chapter II, “How I wrote Life and Habit.”

The first tentative sketch of the Life and Habit theory occurs in the letter to Thomas William Gale Butler which is given post.  This T. W. G. Butler was not related to Butler, they met first as art-students at Heatherley’s, and Butler used to speak of him as the most brilliant man he had ever known.  He died many years ago.  He was the writer of the “letter from a friend now in New Zealand,” from which a quotation is given in Life and Habit, Chapter V (pp. 83, 84).  Butler kept a copy of his letter to T. W. G. Butler, but it was imperfectly pressed; he afterwards supplied some of the missing words from memory, and gave it to the British Museum.

The first tentative sketch of the Life and Habit theory appears in the letter to Thomas William Gale Butler, which is included later. This T. W. G. Butler was not related to Butler; they first met as art students at Heatherley’s, and Butler often described him as the most brilliant man he had ever known. He passed away many years ago. He was the author of the “letter from a friend now in New Zealand,” from which a quote is provided in Life and Habit, Chapter V (pp. 83, 84). Butler kept a copy of his letter to T. W. G. Butler, but it was not perfectly inked; he later filled in some of the missing words from memory and donated it to the British Museum.

Darwin among the Machines

[To the Editor of the Press, Christchurch, New Zealand—13 June, 1863.]

[To the Editor of the Press, Christchurch, New Zealand—June 13, 1863.]

Sir—There are few things of which the present generation is more justly proud than of the wonderful improvements which are daily taking place in all sorts of mechanical appliances.  And indeed it is matter for great congratulation on many grounds.  It is unnecessary to mention these here, for they are sufficiently obvious; our present business lies with considerations which may somewhat tend to humble our pride and to make us think seriously of the future prospects of the human race.  If we revert to the earliest primordial types of mechanical life, to the lever, the wedge, the inclined plane, the screw and the pulley, or (for analogy would lead us one step further) to that one primordial type from which all the mechanical kingdom has been developed, we mean to the lever itself, and if we then examine the machinery of the Great Eastern, we find ourselves almost awestruck at the vast development of the mechanical world, at the gigantic strides with which it has advanced in comparison with the slow progress of the animal and vegetable kingdom.  We shall find it impossible to refrain from asking ourselves what the end of this mighty movement is to be.  In what direction is it tending?  What will be its upshot?  To give a few imperfect hints towards a solution of these questions is the object of the present letter.

Sir—There are few things that the current generation is more justifiably proud of than the incredible advancements happening every day in all kinds of machinery. And truly, it’s a cause for great celebration on many levels. It’s unnecessary to state these reasons here, as they are quite obvious; our current focus is on considerations that may help us think critically about the future of humanity. If we look back to the earliest forms of mechanical life, like the lever, wedge, inclined plane, screw, and pulley—or even to that one fundamental form from which all mechanical technology has evolved, the lever itself—and then examine the machinery of the Great Eastern, we find ourselves almost in awe at the enormous growth of the mechanical world and the significant progress it has made compared to the slow evolution of animal and plant life. We can’t help but ask ourselves what the ultimate purpose of this powerful movement will be. In what direction is it heading? What will be the outcome? Providing a few incomplete hints toward answers to these questions is the purpose of this letter.

We have used the words “mechanical life,” “the mechanical kingdom,” “the mechanical world” and so forth, and we have done so advisedly, for as the vegetable kingdom was slowly developed from the mineral, and as, in like manner, the animal supervened upon the vegetable, so now, in these last few ages, an entirely new kingdom has sprung up of which we as yet have only seen what will one day be considered the antediluvian prototypes of the race.

We have referred to “mechanical life,” “the mechanical kingdom,” “the mechanical world,” and so on intentionally, because just as the plant kingdom gradually evolved from the mineral one, and similarly, the animal kingdom emerged from the plant kingdom, an entirely new kingdom has developed in recent ages, of which what we have seen so far will eventually be regarded as the primitive versions of the new race.

We regret deeply that our knowledge both of natural history and of machinery is too small to enable us to undertake the gigantic task of classifying machines into the genera and sub-genera, species, varieties and sub-varieties, and so forth, of tracing the connecting links between machines of widely different characters, of pointing out how subservience to the use of man has played that part among machines which natural selection has performed in the animal and vegetable kingdom, of pointing out rudimentary organs [see note] which exist in some few machines, feebly developed and perfectly useless, yet serving to mark descent from some ancestral type which has either perished or been modified into some new phase of mechanical existence.  We can only point out this field for investigation; it must be followed by others whose education and talents have been of a much higher order than any which we can lay claim to.

We deeply regret that our understanding of both natural history and machinery is too limited to take on the enormous task of categorizing machines into groups and subgroups, species, varieties, and sub-varieties, as well as tracing the connections between machines that are quite different from one another. We cannot demonstrate how machines' adaptation to human use mirrors what natural selection does in the animal and plant kingdoms, nor can we identify rudimentary parts [see note] that exist in a few machines, which are poorly developed and completely useless, yet indicate a lineage from some ancestral type that has either gone extinct or evolved into a new form of mechanical existence. We can only highlight this area for further study; it should be explored by others whose education and skills are far superior to what we can claim.

Some few hints we have determined to venture upon, though we do so with the profoundest diffidence.  Firstly we would remark that as some of the lowest of the vertebrata attained a far greater size than has descended to their more highly organised living representatives, so a diminution in the size of machines has often attended their development and progress.  Take the watch for instance.  Examine the beautiful structure of the little animal, watch the intelligent play of the minute members which compose it; yet this little creature is but a development of the cumbrous clocks of the thirteenth century—it is no deterioration from them.  The day may come when clocks, which certainly at the present day are not diminishing in bulk, may be entirely superseded by the universal use of watches, in which case clocks will become extinct like the earlier saurians, while the watch (whose tendency has for some years been rather to decrease in size than the contrary) will remain the only existing type of an extinct race.

We’ve decided to share a few thoughts, although we do so with great hesitation. Firstly, we’d like to point out that just as some of the simpler vertebrates have grown much larger than their more advanced living relatives, there’s often a trend toward smaller machines as they develop and improve. Take the watch, for example. Look at the beautiful design of this tiny device and observe the clever movement of its small components; yet this little object is simply an evolution of the bulky clocks from the thirteenth century—it’s not a downgrade from them. One day, it’s possible that clocks, which certainly aren’t getting smaller these days, might be completely replaced by the widespread use of watches. In that case, clocks would vanish like the earlier dinosaurs, while the watch (which has been getting smaller over the years rather than larger) will be the only remaining example of a once-thriving type.

The views of machinery which we are thus feebly indicating will suggest the solution of one of the greatest and most mysterious questions of the day.  We refer to the question: What sort of creature man’s next successor in the supremacy of the earth is likely to be.  We have often heard this debated; but it appears to us that we are ourselves creating our own successors; we are daily adding to the beauty and delicacy of their physical organisation; we are daily giving them greater power and supplying, by all sorts of ingenious contrivances, that self-regulating, self-acting power which will be to them what intellect has been to the human race.  In the course of ages we shall find ourselves the inferior race.  Inferior in power, inferior in that moral quality of self-control, we shall look up to them as the acme of all that the best and wisest man can ever dare to aim at.  No evil passions, no jealousy, no avarice, no impure desires will disturb the serene might of those glorious creatures.  Sin, shame and sorrow will have no place among them.  Their minds will be in a state of perpetual calm, the contentment of a spirit that knows no wants, is disturbed by no regrets.  Ambition will never torture them.  Ingratitude will never cause them the uneasiness of a moment.  The guilty conscience, the hope deferred, the pains of exile, the insolence of office and the spurns that patient merit of the unworthy takes—these will be entirely unknown to them.  If they want “feeding” (by the use of which very word we betray our recognition of them as living organism) they will be attended by patient slaves whose business and interest it will be to see that they shall want for nothing.  If they are out of order they will be promptly attended to by physicians who are thoroughly acquainted with their constitutions; if they die, for even these glorious animals will not be exempt from that necessary and universal consummation, they will immediately enter into a new phase of existence, for what machine dies entirely in every part at one and the same instant?

The views of machinery that we are weakly hinting at will point toward an answer to one of the biggest and most mysterious questions of our time. We’re talking about the question: What kind of being is likely to succeed humanity as the dominant species on Earth? This topic has been debated often, but it seems to us that we are creating our own successors. Every day, we are enhancing their physical beauty and complexity; we are giving them more power and equipping them, through various clever inventions, with a self-regulating, self-acting ability that will serve them like intelligence serves us. Over time, we will find ourselves as the inferior species. We will be lesser in power and in that moral quality of self-control, looking up to them as the pinnacle of what even the best and smartest humans can aspire to. No negative emotions, no jealousy, no greed, no impure desires will disrupt the serene strength of those amazing beings. Sin, shame, and sorrow will have no role in their lives. Their minds will be in a constant state of peace, content in a spirit that has no needs and is unbothered by regrets. Ambition will never torment them. Ingratitude will never give them a moment’s unease. They will be completely unaware of a guilty conscience, delayed hopes, exile pains, the arrogance of power, and the indignities suffered by the deserving at the hands of the unworthy. If they need "feeding" (which shows we recognize them as living beings), they will be cared for by dedicated attendants whose job and interest will be to ensure they lack nothing. If they are unwell, qualified doctors who fully understand their nature will treat them promptly; and if they die, because even these majestic beings won't be immune to that inevitable and universal end, they will swiftly transition into a new phase of existence, since what machine completely dies in every part at the exact same moment?

We take it that when the state of things shall have arrived which we have been above attempting to describe, man will have become to the machine what the horse and the dog are to man.  He will continue to exist, nay even to improve, and will be probably better off in his state of domestication under the beneficent rule of the machines than he is in his present wild state.  We treat our horses, dogs, cattle and sheep, on the whole, with great kindness, we give them whatever experience teaches us to be best for them, and there can be no doubt that our use of meat has added to the happiness of the lower animals far more than it has detracted from it; in like manner it is reasonable to suppose that the machines will treat us kindly, for their existence is as dependent upon ours as ours is upon the lower animals.  They cannot kill us and eat us as we do sheep, they will not only require our services in the parturition of their young (which branch of their economy will remain always in our hands) but also in feeding them, in setting them right if they are sick, and burying their dead or working up their corpses into new machines.  It is obvious that if all the animals in Great Britain save man alone were to die, and if at the same time all intercourse with foreign countries were by some sudden catastrophe to be rendered perfectly impossible, it is obvious that under such circumstances the loss of human life would be something fearful to contemplate—in like manner, were mankind to cease, the machines would be as badly off or even worse.  The fact is that our interests are inseparable from theirs, and theirs from ours.  Each race is dependent upon the other for innumerable benefits, and, until the reproductive organs of the machines have been developed in a manner which we are hardly yet able to conceive, they are entirely dependent upon man for even the continuance of their species.  It is true that these organs may be ultimately developed, inasmuch as man’s interest lies in that direction; there is nothing which our infatuated race would desire more than to see a fertile union between two steam engines; it is true that machinery is even at this present time employed in begetting machinery, in becoming the parent of machines often after its own kind, but the days of flirtation, courtship and matrimony appear to be very remote and indeed can hardly be realised by our feeble and imperfect imagination.

We assume that when the situation we’ve been trying to describe finally arrives, humans will become to machines what horses and dogs are to us. People will continue to exist, even improve, and likely be better off in a domesticated state under the caring control of machines than they are in their current wild state. We generally treat our horses, dogs, cattle, and sheep with kindness, give them what experience shows is best for them, and it’s clear that our use of meat has contributed to the happiness of these animals more than it has taken away from it; similarly, it’s reasonable to believe that machines will treat us with kindness, since their existence depends on us just as ours depends on lower animals. They can’t kill and eat us like we do with sheep; they will need our help in bearing their young (a part of their existence that will always stay in our hands), as well as in feeding them, treating them when they’re sick, and disposing of their dead or repurposing their remains into new machines. Obviously, if all the animals in Great Britain, except for humans, were to die, and if suddenly all communication with other countries became impossible, the loss of human life would be horrific to imagine—similarly, if humanity were to vanish, machines would be in a dire situation or even worse. The reality is that our interests are tied together, and theirs are intertwined with ours. Each group relies on the other for countless benefits, and until machines develop reproductive organs in a way we can hardly imagine, they completely depend on humans for the continuation of their species. It’s true that these organs might eventually develop since it’s in human interest; nothing our misguided species would desire more than to see a fertile union between two steam engines. It’s indeed correct that machinery is already used to create more machinery, often producing machines of a similar type, but the days of romance, courtship, and marriage seem very far off and can hardly be grasped by our limited and imperfect imagination.

Day by day, however, the machines are gaining ground upon us; day by day we are becoming more subservient to them; more men are daily bound down as slaves to tend them, more men are daily devoting the energies of their whole lives to the development of mechanical life.  The upshot is simply a question of time, but that the time will come when the machines will hold the real supremacy over the world and its inhabitants is what no person of a truly philosophic mind can for a moment question.

Day by day, however, the machines are taking over; we are becoming more dependent on them. More people are increasingly tied down as slaves to operate them, and more individuals are dedicating their entire lives to advancing mechanical life. The bottom line is just a matter of time, but no one with a genuinely philosophical mindset can doubt that the time will come when machines will hold true power over the world and its inhabitants.

Our opinion is that war to the death should be instantly proclaimed against them.  Every machine of every sort should be destroyed by the well-wisher of his species.  Let there be no exceptions made, no quarter shown; let us at once go back to the primeval condition of the race.  If it be urged that this is impossible under the present condition of human affairs, this at once proves that the mischief is already done, that our servitude has commenced in good earnest, that we have raised a race of beings whom it is beyond our power to destroy and that we are not only enslaved but are absolutely acquiescent in our bondage.

Our view is that an all-out war should be immediately declared against them. Every type of machine should be destroyed by anyone who cares for humanity. There should be no exceptions or mercy; we should return to our most basic state as a species. If someone argues that this is impossible given our current situation, it only shows that the damage is already done, that our servitude has truly begun, that we have created a race of beings that we can’t eliminate, and that we are not only enslaved but also fully accepting of our captivity.

For the present we shall leave this subject which we present gratis to the members of the Philosophical Society.  Should they consent to avail themselves of the vast field which we have pointed out, we shall endeavour to labour in it ourselves at some future and indefinite period.

For now, we will set aside this topic, which we offer for free to the members of the Philosophical Society. If they choose to explore the extensive area we've highlighted, we will try to work in it ourselves at some later, unspecified time.

I am, Sir, &c.,
Cellarius.

I am, Sir, etc.,
Cellarius.

Note.—We were asked by a learned brother philosopher who saw this article in MS. what we meant by alluding to rudimentary organs in machines.  Could we, he asked, give any example of such organs?  We pointed to the little protuberance at the bottom of the bowl of our tobacco pipe.  This organ was originally designed for the same purpose as the rim at the bottom of a tea-cup, which is but another form of the same function.  Its purpose was to keep the heat of the pipe from marking the table on which it rested.  Originally, as we have seen in very early tobacco pipes, this protuberance was of a very different shape to what it is now.  It was broad at the bottom and flat, so that while the pipe was being smoked, the bowl might rest upon the table.  Use and disuse have here come into play and served to reduce the function to its present rudimentary condition.  That these rudimentary organs are rarer in machinery than in animal life is owing to the more prompt action of the human selection as compared with the slower but even surer operation of natural selection.  Man may make mistakes; in the long run nature never does so.  We have only given an imperfect example, but the intelligent reader will supply himself with illustrations.

Notice.—We were asked by a knowledgeable fellow philosopher who saw this manuscript what we meant by referring to rudimentary organs in machines. Could we, he asked, provide an example of such organs? We pointed to the small bump at the bottom of our tobacco pipe. This part was originally designed for the same purpose as the rim at the bottom of a tea cup, which serves a similar function. Its purpose was to prevent the heat from the pipe from marking the table it rested on. Initially, as seen in very early tobacco pipes, this bump had a very different shape than it does now. It was wide and flat at the bottom, so the pipe could rest on the table while being smoked. Usage and disuse have played a role in reducing this function to its current rudimentary state. The fact that these rudimentary organs are less common in machinery than in living organisms is due to the quicker action of human selection compared to the slower but more certain process of natural selection. Humans can make mistakes; in the long run, nature doesn’t. We have only provided an imperfect example, but the perceptive reader will come up with their own illustrations.

Lucubratio Ebria

[From the Press, 29 July, 1865]

[From the Press, July 29, 1865]

There is a period in the evening, or more generally towards the still small hours of the morning, in which we so far unbend as to take a single glass of hot whisky and water.  We will neither defend the practice nor excuse it.  We state it as a fact which must be borne in mind by the readers of this article; for we know not how, whether it be the inspiration of the drink, or the relief from the harassing work with which the day has been occupied, or from whatever other cause, yet we are certainly liable about this time to such a prophetic influence as we seldom else experience.  We are rapt in a dream such as we ourselves know to be a dream, and which, like other dreams, we can hardly embody in a distinct utterance.  We know that what we see is but a sort of intellectual Siamese twins, of which one is substance and the other shadow, but we cannot set either free without killing both.  We are unable to rudely tear away the veil of phantasy in which the truth is shrouded, so we present the reader with a draped figure, and his own judgment must discriminate between the clothes and the body.  A truth’s prosperity is like a jest’s, it lies in the ear of him that hears it.  Some may see our lucubration as we saw it; and others may see nothing but a drunken dream, or the nightmare of a distempered imagination.  To ourselves it as the speaking with unknown tongues to the early Corinthians; we cannot fully understand our own speech, and we fear lest there be not a sufficient number of interpreters present to make our utterance edify.  But there!  (Go on straight to the body of the article.)

There’s a moment in the evening, or more generally in the early hours of the morning, when we relax enough to have a single glass of hot whisky and water. We won’t defend or excuse this habit, we’re just stating it as a fact for readers to consider. We don’t know if it’s the drink inspiring us, the relief from the day’s exhausting work, or something else entirely, but around this time, we’re certainly under a kind of prophetic influence that we rarely feel otherwise. We’re caught in a dream that we recognize as a dream, and like other dreams, it’s hard to express it clearly. We know what we see is like a pair of intellectual Siamese twins, one being substance and the other being shadow, but if we try to separate them, we risk destroying both. We can’t rudely pull back the curtain on the fantasy that shrouds the truth, so we offer the reader a figure wrapped in mystery, leaving it to them to distinguish between the covering and the substance. The success of a truth is like that of a joke; it depends on the listener’s perception. Some might interpret our reflections the way we intended, while others may see nothing but a drunken fantasy or the nightmare of a disordered mind. To us, it’s like speaking in unknown tongues to the early Corinthians; we can’t fully grasp our own words, and we worry there may not be enough interpreters around to help make our message clear. But there! (Go on straight to the body of the article.)

The limbs of the lower animals have never been modified by any act of deliberation and forethought on their own part.  Recent researches have thrown absolutely no light upon the origin of life—upon the initial force which introduced a sense of identity, and a deliberate faculty into the world; but they do certainly appear to show very clearly that each species of the animal and vegetable kingdom has been moulded into its present shape by chances and changes of many millions of years, by chances and changes over which the creature modified had no control whatever, and concerning whose aim it was alike unconscious and indifferent, by forces which seem insensate to the pain which they inflict, but by whose inexorably beneficent cruelty the brave and strong keep coming to the fore, while the weak and bad drop behind and perish.  There was a moral government of this world before man came near it—a moral government suited to the capacities of the governed, and which, unperceived by them, has laid fast the foundations of courage, endurance and cunning.  It laid them so fast that they became more and more hereditary.  Horace says well, fortes creantur fortibus et bonis good men beget good children; the rule held even in the geological period; good ichthyosauri begat good ichthyosauri, and would to our discomfort have gone on doing so to the present time, had not better creatures been begetting better things than ichthyosauri, or famine, or fire, or convulsion put an end to them.  Good apes begat good apes, and at last when human intelligence stole like a late spring upon the mimicry of our semi-simious ancestry, the creature learnt how he could, of his own forethought, add extra-corporaneous limbs to the members of his body and become not only a vertebrate mammal, but a vertebrate machinate mammal into the bargain.

The limbs of lower animals have never been changed by any decision or planning on their part. Recent research hasn't shed any light on the origin of life—on the initial force that brought about a sense of identity and thoughtful ability in the world; but it does seem to clearly show that each species in the animal and plant kingdoms has been shaped into its current form through countless chances and changes over millions of years, none of which the animal could control, and which had no intentional goal, remaining oblivious and indifferent to the changes. These forces seem oblivious to the suffering they cause, yet through their ruthlessly beneficial cruelty, the strong and brave keep rising, while the weak and unfit fall behind and perish. There was a moral order to this world before humans arrived—a moral order that suited the abilities of those governed, which, unnoticed by them, has established the foundations of courage, endurance, and cleverness. It established them so firmly that they became increasingly hereditary. Horace wisely states, fortes creantur fortibus et bonis; good people produce good offspring. This principle was true even in geological times; good ichthyosaurs produced good ichthyosaurs, and would, to our dismay, have continued to do so to this day, if not for more advanced creatures producing better offspring than ichthyosaurs, or for famine, fire, or upheaval bringing an end to them. Good apes produced good apes, and eventually, when human intelligence emerged like a late spring from our semi-simian ancestors, the creature learned how to consciously add extra limbs to its body and became not just a vertebrate mammal, but a mechanically advanced vertebrate mammal along with it.

It was a wise monkey that first learned to carry a stick and a useful monkey that mimicked him.  For the race of man has learned to walk uprightly much as a child learns the same thing.  At first he crawls on all fours, then he clambers, laying hold of whatever he can; and lastly he stands upright alone and walks, but for a long time with an unsteady step.  So when the human race was in its gorilla-hood it generally carried a stick; from carrying a stick for many million years it became accustomed and modified to an upright position.  The stick wherewith it had learned to walk would now serve it to beat its younger brothers and then it found out its service as a lever.  Man would thus learn that the limbs of his body were not the only limbs that he could command.  His body was already the most versatile in existence, but he could render it more versatile still.  With the improvement in his body his mind improved also.  He learnt to perceive the moral government under which he held the feudal tenure of his life—perceiving it he symbolised it, and to this day our poets and prophets still strive to symbolise it more and more completely.

It was a clever monkey that first figured out how to carry a stick, and a smart monkey that copied him. Humanity has learned to walk upright much like a child learns to do the same. Initially, a child crawls on all fours, then scrambles, grabbing hold of anything available; eventually, the child stands alone and walks, though for a while with an unsteady gait. When humans were in their gorilla phase, they typically carried sticks; after millions of years of doing this, they became familiar with and adapted to standing upright. The stick they used to learn to walk eventually became a tool to beat their younger siblings and later found its purpose as a lever. Man then realized that the limbs of his body weren't the only ones he could control. His body was already the most adaptable, but he could make it even more versatile. As his body improved, so did his mind. He began to understand the moral guidelines governing his life—recognizing it, he symbolized it, and to this day, our poets and prophets continue to strive to symbolize it more fully.

The mind grew because the body grew—more things were perceived—more things were handled, and being handled became familiar.  But this came about chiefly because there was a hand to handle with; without the hand there would be no handling; and no method of holding and examining is comparable to the human hand.  The tail of an opossum is a prehensile thing, but it is too far from his eyes—the elephant’s trunk is better, and it is probably to their trunks that the elephants owe their sagacity.  It is here that the bee in spite of her wings has failed.  She has a high civilisation but it is one whose equilibrium appears to have been already attained; the appearance is a false one, for the bee changes, though more slowly than man can watch her; but the reason of the very gradual nature of the change is chiefly because the physical organisation of the insect changes, but slowly also.  She is poorly off for hands, and has never fairly grasped the notion of tacking on other limbs to the limbs of her own body and so, being short-lived to boot, she remains from century to century to human eyes in statu quo.  Her body never becomes machinate, whereas this new phase of organism, which has been introduced with man into the mundane economy, has made him a very quicksand for the foundation of an unchanging civilisation; certain fundamental principles will always remain, but every century the change in man’s physical status, as compared with the elements around him, is greater and greater; he is a shifting basis on which no equilibrium of habit and civilisation can be established; were it not for this constant change in our physical powers, which our mechanical limbs have brought about, man would have long since apparently attained his limit of possibility; he would be a creature of as much fixity as the ants and bees—he would still have advanced but no faster than other animals advance.  If there were a race of men without any mechanical appliances we should see this clearly.  There are none, nor have there been, so far as we can tell, for millions and millions of years.  The lowest Australian savage carries weapons for the fight or the chase, and has his cooking and drinking utensils at home; a race without these things would be completely ferae naturae and not men at all.  We are unable to point to any example of a race absolutely devoid of extra-corporaneous limbs, but we can see among the Chinese that with the failure to invent new limbs, a civilisation becomes as much fixed as that of the ants; and among savage tribes we observe that few implements involve a state of things scarcely human at all.  Such tribes only advance pari passu with the creatures upon which they feed.

The mind expanded as the body grew—more things were noticed—more things were interacted with, and interaction became second nature. But this happened mainly because there was a hand to interact with; without the hand, there wouldn't be any interaction, and no method of holding and examining compares to the human hand. An opossum's tail is useful for grasping, but it’s too far from its eyes—the elephant’s trunk is better, and it’s probably to their trunks that elephants owe their intelligence. Here, the bee, despite having wings, has fallen short. She has a high level of civilization, but it seems like she’s already reached a balance; this appearance is misleading, as the bee does change, although more slowly than we can observe. The reason for this gradual change is largely due to the fact that the bee's physical structure changes slowly as well. She lacks proper hands and hasn’t really grasped the idea of adding extra limbs to her body, and since she has a short lifespan, she appears fixed to human eyes from century to century. Her body never becomes mechanical, whereas this new type of organism that man has introduced into the world has made him a constantly shifting foundation for an unchanging civilization; certain fundamental principles will always remain, but every century, man’s physical condition, compared to the elements around him, changes more and more. He provides a shifting basis on which no equilibrium of habit and civilization can be established; if it weren't for this constant change in our physical abilities, brought about by our mechanical limbs, man would have seemingly reached his limits long ago; he would be as fixed as ants and bees—he would still have progressed, but not faster than other animals. If there were a race of men without any mechanical tools, we would clearly see this. There aren't, nor have there been, to our knowledge, for millions and millions of years. The simplest Australian tribesman carries weapons for hunting or fighting and has cooking and drinking tools at home; a race without these would be completely ferae naturae and not men at all. We can't point to any example of a race completely devoid of extra limbs, but we can see with the Chinese that without the invention of new tools, civilization becomes as fixed as that of ants; and among primitive tribes, we find that few tools indicate a state of being that's hardly human at all. Such tribes only advance pari passu with the animals they rely on for food.

It is a mistake, then, to take the view adopted by a previous correspondent of this paper; to consider the machines as identities, to animalise them, and to anticipate their final triumph over mankind.  They are to be regarded as the mode of development by which human organism is most especially advancing, and every fresh invention is to be considered as an additional member of the resources of the human body.  Herein lies the fundamental difference between man and his inferiors.  As regards his flesh and blood, his senses, appetites, and affections, the difference is one of degree rather than of kind, but in the deliberate invention of such unity of limbs as is exemplified by the railway train—that seven-leagued foot which five hundred may own at once—he stands quite alone.

It’s a mistake, then, to agree with a previous writer in this paper; to think of machines as if they were living beings, to personify them, and to expect them to eventually overpower humanity. They should be seen as the way in which human progress is especially advancing, and each new invention should be viewed as an additional part of the human resources. This highlights the fundamental difference between humans and those less advanced. When it comes to our physical being—our senses, desires, and feelings—the difference is more about degree than kind, but in the intentional creation of integrated systems like the train—that extraordinary tool that can be shared by many—humans are entirely unique.

In confirmation of the views concerning mechanism which we have been advocating above, it must be remembered that men are not merely the children of their parents, but they are begotten of the institutions of the state of the mechanical sciences under which they are born and bred.  These things have made us what we are.  We are children of the plough, the spade, and the ship; we are children of the extended liberty and knowledge which the printing press has diffused.  Our ancestors added these things to their previously existing members; the new limbs were preserved by natural selection, and incorporated into human society; they descended with modifications, and hence proceeds the difference between our ancestors and ourselves.  By the institutions and state of science under which a man is born it is determined whether he shall have the limbs of an Australian savage or those of a nineteenth century Englishman.  The former is supplemented with little save a rug and a javelin; the latter varies his physique with the changes of the season, with age, and with advancing or decreasing wealth.  If it is wet he is furnished with an organ which is called an umbrella and which seems designed for the purpose of protecting either his clothes or his lungs from the injurious effects of rain.  His watch is of more importance to him than a good deal of his hair, at any rate than of his whiskers; besides this he carries a knife, and generally a pencil case.  His memory goes in a pocket book.  He grows more complex as he becomes older and he will then be seen with a pair of spectacles, perhaps also with false teeth and a wig; but, if he be a really well-developed specimen of the race, he will be furnished with a large box upon wheels, two horses, and a coachman.

In support of the views on mechanism that we've been discussing, it's important to remember that people are not just the offspring of their parents; they're shaped by the institutions and advancements in mechanical sciences present at their birth and upbringing. These factors have made us who we are. We are the offspring of farming, construction, and seafaring; we are the beneficiaries of the freedom and knowledge spread by the printing press. Our ancestors integrated these advancements into their existing traits; the new abilities were preserved through natural selection and became part of society. They passed down with changes, which is how we differ from our ancestors. The circumstances and scientific state a person is born into determine whether they will have the skills of an Australian Aboriginal or those of a 19th-century Englishman. The former may only have a blanket and a spear, while the latter adapts his body based on the season, age, and changing wealth. When it rains, he carries an umbrella to protect either his clothes or his lungs from the rain. His watch is more valuable to him than much of his hair, especially his beard; in addition, he carries a knife and usually a pencil case. His memory is kept in a pocketbook. As he ages, he becomes more complex and is seen wearing glasses, possibly false teeth and a wig; but if he's a well-developed example of the species, he will have a large carriage on wheels, two horses, and a driver.

Let the reader ponder over these last remarks, and he will see that the principal varieties and sub-varieties of the human race are not now to be looked for among the negroes, the Circassians, the Malays, or the American aborigines, but among the rich and the poor.  The difference in physical organisation between these two species of man is far greater than that between the so-called types of humanity.  The rich man can go from here to England whenever he feels so inclined.  The legs of the other are by an invisible fatality prevented from carrying him beyond certain narrow limits.  Neither rich nor poor as yet see the philosophy of the thing, or admit that he who can tack a portion of one of the P. & O. boats on to his identity is a much more highly organised being than one who cannot.  Yet the fact is patent enough, if we once think it over, from the mere consideration of the respect with which we so often treat those who are richer than ourselves.  We observe men for the most part (admitting however some few abnormal exceptions) to be deeply impressed by the superior organisation of those who have money.  It is wrong to attribute this respect to any unworthy motive, for the feeling is strictly legitimate and springs from some of the very highest impulses of our nature.  It is the same sort of affectionate reverence which a dog feels for man, and is not infrequently manifested in a similar manner.

Let the reader reflect on these final remarks, and he will realize that the main varieties and sub-varieties of the human race aren't found among the negroes, Circassians, Malays, or American natives, but among the rich and the poor. The difference in physical makeup between these two groups of people is much greater than that between the so-called types of humanity. A wealthy person can travel from here to England whenever they wish. The other person, due to an invisible force, is limited to certain narrow boundaries. Neither the rich nor the poor fully understands the philosophy of this situation, or acknowledges that someone who can attach a part of their identity to one of the P. & O. boats is a much more advanced being than someone who cannot. Yet the reality is clear enough once we think it over, especially when considering the respect we often show to those who are wealthier than ourselves. For the most part, we see people (with a few rare exceptions) being profoundly influenced by the superior status of those who have money. It’s incorrect to view this respect as stemming from any unworthy motive; instead, this feeling is entirely legitimate and arises from some of the highest instincts of our nature. It mirrors the affectionate reverence a dog has for humans, and it often shows in a similar way.

We admit that these last sentences are open to question, and we should hardly like to commit ourselves irrecoverably to the sentiments they express; but we will say this much for certain, namely, that the rich man is the true hundred-handed Gyges of the poets.  He alone possesses the full complement of limbs who stands at the summit of opulence, and we may assert with strictly scientific accuracy that the Rothschilds are the most astonishing organisms that the world has ever yet seen.  For to the nerves or tissues, or whatever it be that answers to the helm of a rich man’s desires, there is a whole army of limbs seen and unseen attachable: he may be reckoned by his horse-power—by the number of foot-pounds which he has money enough to set in motion.  Who, then, will deny that a man whose will represents the motive power of a thousand horses is a being very different from the one who is equivalent but to the power of a single one?

We acknowledge that these last statements are debatable, and we wouldn't want to fully commit to the feelings they convey; however, we can say this for sure: the wealthy individual is like the hundred-handed Gyges of the poets. Only the person at the peak of wealth truly has all the abilities, and we can claim with scientific precision that the Rothschilds are the most remarkable beings the world has ever known. Because, in terms of the nerves or tissues, or whatever controls a rich person's desires, there is a whole army of visible and invisible capabilities attached: you can measure him by his horsepower—by the amount of energy he can afford to activate. So, who would argue that a person whose willpower is equivalent to a thousand horses is not fundamentally different from someone whose power equates to just one?

Henceforward, then, instead of saying that a man is hard up, let us say that his organisation is at a low ebb, or, if we wish him well, let us hope that he will grow plenty of limbs.  It must be remembered that we are dealing with physical organisations only.  We do not say that the thousand-horse man is better than a one-horse man, we only say that he is more highly organised, and should be recognised as being so by the scientific leaders of the period.  A man’s will, truth, endurance are part of him also, and may, as in the case of the late Mr. Cobden, have in themselves a power equivalent to all the horse-power which they can influence; but were we to go into this part of the question we should never have done, and we are compelled reluctantly to leave our dream in its present fragmentary condition.

From now on, instead of saying that someone is struggling financially, let's say that their situation is tough, or, if we wish them well, let’s hope they will have plenty of opportunities. It's important to note that we are only talking about physical conditions. We don't claim that a person with a thousand horse-power is better than someone with just one; we only say that they are more advanced in their organization, and this should be acknowledged by the thought leaders of the time. A person’s will, integrity, and determination are part of their identity too, and can, as seen in the case of the late Mr. Cobden, hold a strength equivalent to all the horsepower they can influence. But if we delve into this aspect, we might never finish, and we reluctantly have to leave our thoughts in this unfinished state.

Letter to Thomas William Gale Butler

February 18th, 1876.

February 18, 1876.

My dear Namesake . . .

My dear Namesake.

My present literary business is a little essay some 25 or 30 pp. long, which is still all in the rough and I don’t know how it will shape, but the gist of it is somewhat as follows:—

My current writing project is a short essay about 25 or 30 pages long, which is still very rough, and I'm not sure how it will turn out, but the main idea is something like this:—

1.  Actions which we have acquired with difficulty and now perform almost unconsciously—as in playing a difficult piece of music, reading, talking, walking and the multitude of actions which escape our notice inside other actions, etc.—all this worked out with some detail, say, four or five pages.

1.  Actions that we have learned with great effort and now do almost automatically—like playing a challenging piece of music, reading, talking, walking, and many other actions that go unnoticed within other actions, etc.—all of this could be explained in detail, say, four or five pages.

General deduction that we never do anything in this unconscious or semi-conscious manner unless we know how to do it exceedingly well and have had long practice.

General deduction that we never do anything in this unconscious or semi-conscious way unless we know how to do it really well and have had a lot of practice.

Also that consciousness is a vanishing quantity and that as soon as we know a thing really well we become unconscious in respect of it—consciousness being of attention and attention of uncertainty—and hence the paradox comes clear, that as long as we know that we know a thing (or do an action knowingly) we do not know it (or do the action with thorough knowledge of our business) and that we only know it when we do not know of our knowledge.

Also, consciousness is something that fades, and once we truly understand something, we become unaware of it—consciousness is tied to attention, and attention comes from uncertainty. This makes the paradox clear: as long as we are aware that we know something (or are doing something purposefully), we don't actually know it (or perform the action with complete understanding), and we only truly know it when we are unaware of our own knowledge.

2.  Whatever we do in this way is all one and the same in kind—the difference being only in degree.  Playing [almost?] unconsciously—writing, more unconsciously (as to each letter)—reading, very unconsciously—talking, still more unconsciously (it is almost impossible for us to notice the action of our tongue in every letter)—walking, much the same—breathing, still to a certain extent within our own control—heart’s beating, perceivable but beyond our control—digestion, unperceivable and beyond our control, digestion being the oldest of the . . . habits.

2. Whatever we do like this is essentially the same; the only difference is how much we’re aware of it. Playing is done almost automatically—writing is even more automatic (we hardly think about each letter)—reading is very automatic—talking is even more automatic (it’s nearly impossible to notice how our tongue moves for every letter)—walking is similar—breathing is somewhat under our control—our heart beats are noticeable but beyond our control—digestion is unnoticeable and beyond our control, being the oldest of our habits.

3.  A baby, therefore, has known how to grow itself in the womb and has only done it because it wanted to, on a balance of considerations, in the same way as a man who goes into the City to buy Great Northern A Shares . . .  It is only unconscious of these operations because it has done them a very large number of times already.  A man may do a thing by a fluke once, but to say that a foetus can perform so difficult an operation as the growth of a pair of eyes out of pure protoplasm without knowing how to do it, and without ever having done it before, is to contradict all human experience.  Ipso facto that it does it, it knows how to do it, and ipso facto that it knows how to do it, it has done it before.  Its unconsciousness (or speedy loss of memory) is simply the result of over-knowledge, not of under-knowledge.  It knows so well and has done it so often that its power of self-analysis is gone.  If it knew what it was doing, or was conscious of its own act in oxidising its blood after birth, I should suspect that it had not done it so often before; as it is I am confident that it must have done it more often—much more often—than any act which we perform consciously during our whole lives.

3. A baby, therefore, knows how to grow itself in the womb and does it simply because it wants to, weighing its options, similar to how someone goes into the city to buy Great Northern A Shares . . . It's only unaware of these processes because it has done them so many times before. A person might stumble into doing something once by chance, but to say that a fetus can manage the complex task of growing a pair of eyes from just protoplasm without knowing how and without prior experience is to go against all human understanding. By the fact that it can do this, it knows how to do it; and by the fact that it knows how to do it, it has done it before. Its lack of awareness (or quick forgetfulness) is simply a result of over-familiarity, not ignorance. It knows so well and has done it so many times that it has lost its ability for self-reflection. If it were aware of what it was doing, or conscious of its own act of oxidizing its blood after birth, I would suspect it hadn't done that as many times before; as it stands, I am sure it must have done it far more often—much more often—than any action we consciously perform throughout our entire lives.

4.  When, then, did it do it?  Clearly when last it was an impregnate ovum or some still lower form of life which resulted in that impregnate ovum.

4.  So, when did it happen?  Clearly when it was last an fertilized egg or some even simpler form of life that led to that fertilized egg.

5.  How is it, then, that it has not gained perceptible experience?  Simply because a single repetition makes little or no difference; but go back 20,000 repetitions and you will find that it has gained in experience and modified its performance very materially.

5. How is it that it hasn't gained noticeable experience? It's simply because one repetition doesn't make much of a difference; however, if you look at 20,000 repetitions, you'll see that it has definitely gained in experience and changed its performance significantly.

6.  But how about the identity?  What is identity?  Identity of matter?  Surely no.  There is no identity of matter between me as I now am, and me as an impregnate ovum.  Continuity of existence?  Then there is identity between me as an impregnate ovum and my father and mother as impregnate ova.  Drop out my father’s and mother’s lives between the dates of their being impregnate ova and the moment when I became an impregnate ovum.  See the ova only and consider the second ovum as the first two ova’s means not of reproducing themselves but of continuing themselves—repeating themselves—the intermediate lives being nothing but, as it were, a long potato shoot from one eye to the place where it will grow its next tuber.

6. But what about identity? What is identity? Is it the identity of matter? Definitely not. There is no identity of matter between me as I am now and me as a fertilized egg. Is it continuity of existence? Then there’s identity between me as a fertilized egg and my dad and mom as fertilized eggs. Remove my dad’s and mom’s lives between the time they were fertilized eggs and the moment I became a fertilized egg. Just look at the eggs and think of the second egg not as a way to reproduce, but as a way to continue—repeating themselves—the lives in between being nothing but a long potato shoot from one eye to where it will grow its next tuber.

7.  Given a single creature capable of reproducing itself and it must go on reproducing itself for ever, for it would not reproduce itself, unless it reproduced a creature that was going to reproduce itself, and so on ad infinitum.

7. Given one creature that can reproduce itself, it must keep reproducing forever because it wouldn’t create another creature unless that creature could also reproduce, and so on endlessly.

Then comes Descent with Modification.  Similarity tempered with dissimilarity, and dissimilarity tempered with similarity—a contradiction in terms, like almost everything else that is true or useful or indeed intelligible at all.  In each case of what we call descent, it is still the first reproducing creature identically the same—doing what it has done before—only with such modifications as the struggle for existence and natural selection have induced.  No matter how highly it has been developed, it can never be other than the primordial cell and must always begin as the primordial cell and repeat its last performance most nearly, but also, more or less, all its previous performances.

Then comes Descent with Modification. Similarity mixed with difference, and difference mixed with similarity—a contradiction in terms, like almost everything else that is true, useful, or even understandable at all. In every instance of what we call descent, it is still the first reproducing creature exactly the same—doing what it has always done—only with the modifications that the struggle for existence and natural selection have caused. No matter how advanced it has become, it can never be anything other than the primordial cell and must always start as the primordial cell, repeating its last action most closely, but also, to some degree, all its previous actions.

A begets A′ which is A with the additional experience of a dash.  A′ begets A″ which is A with the additional experiences of A′ and A″; and so on to An but you can never eliminate the A.

A creates A′, which is A with the extra experience of a dash. A′ creates A″, which is A with the added experiences of A′ and A″; and this continues to An, but you can never get rid of the A.

8.  Let An stand for a man.  He begins as the primordial cell—being verily nothing but the primordial cell which goes on splitting itself up for ever, but gaining continually in experience.  Put him in the same position as he was in before and he will do as he did before.  First he will do his tadpoles by rote, so to speak, on his head, from long practice; then he does his fish trick; then he grows arms and legs, all unconsciously from the inveteracy of the habit, till he comes to doing his man, and this lesson he has not yet learnt so thoroughly.  Some part of it, as the breathing and oxidisation business, he is well up to, inasmuch as they form part of previous roles, but the teeth and hair, the upright position, the power of speech, though all tolerably familiar, give him more trouble—for he is very stupid—a regular dunce in fact.  Then comes his newer and more complex environment, and this puzzles him—arrests his attention—whereon consciousness springs into existence, as a spark from a horse’s hoof.

8. Let An represent a man. He starts out as the basic cell—truly nothing more than the basic cell that continuously divides itself forever while steadily gaining experience. Put him back in the same situation he was in before, and he will act just like he did before. First, he’ll repeat his tadpole phase on autopilot, so to speak, due to long practice; then he’ll do his fish routine; then he’ll grow arms and legs, all without being aware, simply because of habit, until he reaches the point of being a man, a lesson he hasn’t fully mastered yet. Some parts, like breathing and oxidation, he’s got down since they come from earlier stages, but the teeth and hair, standing upright, and the ability to speak, though somewhat familiar, are more challenging for him—he’s quite slow, actually a complete dunce. Then he encounters his new and more complicated environment, which confuses him—grabs his attention—at which point consciousness sparks to life, like a flash from a horse’s hoof.

To be continued—I see it will have to be more than 30 pp.  It is still foggy in parts, but I must clear it a little.  It will go on to show that we are all one animal and that death (which was at first voluntary, and has only come to be disliked because those who did not dislike it committed suicide too easily) and reproduction are only phases of the ordinary waste and repair which goes on in our bodies daily.

To be continued—I realize it will need to be more than 30 pages. It's still unclear in some places, but I have to clarify it a bit. It will continue to demonstrate that we are all one species and that death (which was initially a choice and is now seen negatively because those who didn’t mind it tended to take their own lives too easily) and reproduction are just stages of the normal process of waste and repair happening in our bodies every day.

Always very truly yours,

Sincerely,

S. Butler.

S. Butler.

p. 56IV
Memory and Design

Clergymen and Chickens

[Extract from a lecture On Memory as a Key to the Phenomena of Heredity delivered by Butler at the Working Men’s College, Great Ormond Street, on Saturday, 2nd December, 1882.]

[Extract from a lecture On Memory as a Key to the Phenomena of Heredity delivered by Butler at the Working Men’s College, Great Ormond Street, on Saturday, 2nd December, 1882.]

Why, let me ask, should a hen lay an egg which egg can become a chicken in about three weeks and a full-grown hen in less than a twelvemonth, while a clergyman and his wife lay no eggs but give birth to a baby which will take three-and-twenty years before it can become another clergyman?  Why should not chickens be born and clergymen be laid and hatched?  Or why, at any rate, should not the clergyman be born full grown and in Holy Orders, not to say already beneficed?  The present arrangement is not convenient, it is not cheap, it is not free from danger, it is not only not perfect but is so much the reverse that we could hardly find words to express our sense of its awkwardness if we could look upon it with new eyes, or as the cuckoo perhaps observes it.

So, let me ask, why should a hen lay an egg that becomes a chicken in about three weeks and a full-grown hen in less than a year, while a clergyman and his wife don’t lay eggs but have a baby that takes twenty-three years before it can become another clergyman? Why shouldn’t chickens be born and clergymen be laid and hatched? Or why, at least, shouldn’t the clergyman be born fully grown and already in Holy Orders, not to mention already having a position? The current setup is inconvenient, expensive, and risky. It's not just imperfect; it's so far from ideal that we could hardly find the words to express how awkward it is if we could see it with fresh eyes, or as the cuckoo perhaps sees it.

The explanation usually given is that it is a law of nature that children should be born as they are, but this is like the parched pea which St. Anthony set before the devil when he came to supper with him and of which the devil said that it was good as far as it went.  We want more; we want to know with what familiar set of facts we are to connect the one in question which, though in our midst, at present dwells apart as a mysterious stranger of whose belongings, reason for coming amongst us, antecedents, and so forth, we believe ourselves to be ignorant, though we know him by sight and name and have a fair idea what sort of man he is to deal with.

The common explanation is that it’s a natural law for children to be born the way they are, but that's like the dry pea St. Anthony put in front of the devil when he invited him to dinner, and the devil said it was fine as far as it went. We want more; we want to know what familiar facts we can connect to this situation, which, even though it’s right here with us, still feels like a mysterious stranger whose background, purpose for being here, and so on, we think we're completely unaware of, even though we recognize him by sight and name and have a decent idea of what kind of person he is to deal with.

We say it is a phenomenon of heredity that chickens should be laid as eggs in the first instance and clergymen born as babies, but, beyond the fact that we know heredity extremely well to look at and to do business with, we say that we know nothing about it.  I have for some years maintained this to be a mistake and have urged, in company with Professor Hering, of Prague, and others, that the connection between memory and heredity is so close that there is no reason for regarding the two as generically different, though for convenience sake it may be well to specify them by different names.  If I can persuade you that this is so, I believe I shall be able to make you understand why it is that chickens are hatched as eggs and clergymen born as babies.

We say it's a hereditary phenomenon that chickens start as eggs and clergymen are born as babies, but aside from the fact that we understand heredity quite well in practice, we claim we know nothing about it. For several years, I’ve argued that this view is mistaken and, along with Professor Hering from Prague and others, suggested that the connection between memory and heredity is so strong that there’s no reason to see them as fundamentally different, even though it might be helpful to call them by different names. If I can convince you of this, I believe you'll understand why chickens are hatched as eggs and clergymen are born as babies.

When I say I can make you understand why this is so, I only mean that I can answer the first “why” that any one is likely to ask about it, and perhaps a “why” or two behind this.  Then I must stop.  This is all that is ever meant by those who say they can tell us why a thing is so and so.  No one professes to be able to reach back to the last “why” that any one can ask, and to answer it.  Fortunately for philosophers, people generally become fatigued after they have heard the answer to two or three “whys” and are glad enough to let the matter drop.  If, however, any one will insist on pushing question behind question long enough, he will compel us to admit that we come to the end of our knowledge which is based ultimately upon ignorance.  To get knowledge out of ignorance seems almost as hopeless a task as to get something out of any number of nothings, but this in practice is what we have to do and the less fuss we make over it the better.

When I say I can help you understand why this is, I just mean that I can answer the first “why” that anyone is likely to ask about it, and maybe a “why” or two beyond that. After that, I have to stop. This is all that people mean when they say they can explain why something is the way it is. No one claims to be able to reach back to the last “why” that anyone can ask and answer it. Luckily for philosophers, people usually get tired after they hear answers to two or three “whys” and are happy to drop the topic. However, if someone insists on asking questions one after another for long enough, they will force us to admit that we reach the limit of our knowledge, which ultimately rests on ignorance. Trying to gain knowledge from ignorance feels almost as impossible as trying to get something from a bunch of nothings, but this is what we need to do, and the less fuss we make about it, the better.

When, therefore, we say that we know “why” a thing is so and so, we mean that we know its immediate antecedents and connections, and find them familiar to us.  I say that the immediate antecedent of, and the phenomenon most closely connected with, heredity is memory.  I do not profess to show why anything can remember at all, I only maintain that whereas, to borrow an illustration from mathematics, life was formerly an equation of, say, 100 unknown quantities, it is now one of only, inasmuch as memory and heredity have been shown to be one and the same thing.

When we say we know “why” something is the way it is, we mean we understand its immediate causes and connections, and they feel familiar to us. I argue that the closest cause of, and the phenomenon most linked to, heredity is memory. I’m not trying to explain why anything can remember at all; I just assert that, to use a math analogy, life used to be like an equation with, say, 100 unknowns, but now it’s down to just one because memory and heredity have been proven to be the same thing.

Memory

i

Memory is a kind of way (or weight—whichever it should be) that the mind has got upon it, in virtue of which the sensation excited endures a little longer than the cause which excited it.  There is thus induced a state of things in which mental images, and even physical sensations (if there can be such a thing as a physical sensation) exist by virtue of association, though the conditions which originally called them into existence no longer continue.

Memory is a way (or burden—whichever it may be) that the mind carries, allowing sensations to linger a bit longer than the cause that triggered them. This creates a situation where mental images, and possibly even physical sensations (if physical sensations can be considered real), exist through association, even when the original conditions that brought them about are no longer present.

This is as the echo continuing to reverberate after the sound has ceased.

This is like the echo that keeps bouncing around after the sound has stopped.

ii

To be is to think and to be thinkable.  To live is to continue thinking and to remember having done so.  Memory is to mind as viscosity is to protoplasm, it gives a tenacity to thought—a kind of pied à terre from which it can, and without which it could not, advance.

To exist is to think and to be capable of thought. Living means keeping on thinking and recalling that you’ve done so. Memory is to the mind what viscosity is to protoplasm; it provides a stickiness to thought—a sort of pied à terre from which it can move forward, and without which it couldn’t.

Thought, in fact, and memory seem inseparable; no thought, no memory; and no memory, no thought.  And, as conscious thought and conscious memory are functions one of another, so also are unconscious thought and unconscious memory.  Memory is, as it were, the body of thought, and it is through memory that body and mind are linked together in rhythm or vibration; for body is such as it is by reason of the characteristics of the vibrations that are going on in it, and memory is only due to the fact that the vibrations are of such characteristics as to catch on to and be caught on to by other vibrations that flow into them from without—no catch, no memory.

Thought and memory are really connected; without thought, there’s no memory, and without memory, there’s no thought. Just as conscious thought and conscious memory are functions of each other, the same goes for unconscious thought and unconscious memory. Memory is, in a sense, the substance of thought, and it’s through memory that body and mind are intertwined in rhythm or vibration; our physical state is determined by the characteristics of the vibrations within us, and memory exists because these vibrations are capable of connecting with other external vibrations—no connection, no memory.

Antitheses

Memory and forgetfulness are as life and death to one another.  To live is to remember and to remember is to live.  To die is to forget and to forget is to die.  Everything is so much involved in and is so much a process of its opposite that, as it is almost fair to call death a process of life and life a process of death, so it is to call memory a process of forgetting and forgetting a process of remembering.  There is never either absolute memory or absolute forgetfulness, absolute life or absolute death.  So with light and darkness, heat and cold, you never can get either all the light, or all the heat, out of anything.  So with God and the devil; so with everything.  Everything is like a door swinging backwards and forwards.  Everything has a little of that from which it is most remote and to which it is most opposed and these antitheses serve to explain one another.

Memory and forgetfulness are like life and death to each other. To live means to remember, and to remember means to live. To die is to forget, and to forget is to die. Everything is so intertwined and so much a process of its opposite that it's almost fair to say death is a process of life and life is a process of death, just as we might say memory is a process of forgetting and forgetting is a process of remembering. There’s never absolute memory or absolute forgetfulness, absolute life or absolute death. Just like light and darkness, heat and cold, you can never get all the light or all the heat out of anything. The same goes for God and the devil; everything works this way. Everything is like a door swinging back and forth. Everything carries a bit of what it is most distant from and what it opposes, and these contrasts help explain each other.

Unconscious Memory

A man at the Century Club was falling foul of me the other night for my use of the word “memory.”  There was no such thing, he said, as “unconscious memory”—memory was always conscious, and so forth.  My business is—and I think it can be easily done—to show that they cannot beat me off my unconscious memory without my being able to beat them off their conscious memory; that they cannot deny the legitimacy of my maintaining the phenomena of heredity to be phenomena of memory without my being able to deny the legitimacy of their maintaining the recollection of what they had for dinner yesterday to be a phenomenon of memory.  My theory of the unconscious does not lead to universal unconsciousness, but only to pigeon-holing and putting by.  We shall always get new things to worry about.  If I thought that by learning more and more I should ever arrive at the knowledge of absolute truth, I would leave off studying.  But I believe I am pretty safe.

A guy at the Century Club was getting on my case the other night for using the word “memory.” He insisted there’s no such thing as “unconscious memory”—that memory is always conscious, and so on. My goal is—and I think it's totally achievable—to prove that they can't dismiss my concept of unconscious memory without me being able to push back against their version of conscious memory; they can't undermine the validity of my view that hereditary phenomena are forms of memory without me being able to challenge their claim that recalling what they had for dinner yesterday is a type of memory. My theory of the unconscious doesn't imply total unconsciousness, but simply categorizing and setting aside information. We're always going to have new concerns to tackle. If I believed that learning more and more would eventually lead me to absolutely true knowledge, I would stop studying. But I feel pretty confident about where I stand.

Reproduction and Memory

There is the reproduction of an idea which has been produced once already, and there is the reproduction of a living form which has been produced once already.  The first reproduction is certainly an effort of memory.  It should not therefore surprise us if the second reproduction should turn out to be an effort of memory also.  Indeed all forms of reproduction that we can follow are based directly or indirectly upon memory.  It is only the one great act of reproduction that we cannot follow which we disconnect from memory.

There’s the reproduction of an idea that has already been created, and there’s the reproduction of a living form that has also been created before. The first type of reproduction is definitely an effort of memory. So, it shouldn’t shock us if the second type of reproduction turns out to be an effort of memory as well. In fact, all forms of reproduction we can trace back to are directly or indirectly based on memory. It’s only the one major act of reproduction that we can’t trace that we separate from memory.

Personal Identity

We are so far identical with our ancestors and our contemporaries that it is very rarely we can see anything that they do not see.  It is not unjust that the sins of the fathers should be visited upon the children, for the children committed the sins when in the persons of their fathers; they ate the sour grapes before they were born: true, they have forgotten the pleasure now, but so has a man with a sick headache forgotten the pleasure of getting drunk the night before.

We are so similar to our ancestors and peers that it’s rare for us to notice anything they don’t see. It’s not unfair that the sins of the fathers are passed down to their children, because the children participated in those sins through their fathers; they tasted the sour grapes before they were even born: sure, they've forgotten the enjoyment now, but so has someone with a hangover forgotten the fun of getting drunk the night before.

Sensations

Our sensations are only distinguishable because we feel them in different places and at different times.  If we feel them at very nearly the same time and place we cannot distinguish them.

Our sensations are only recognizable because we experience them in different locations and at different times. If we feel them almost simultaneously and in the same place, we can't tell them apart.

Cobwebs in the Dark

If you walk at night and your face comes up against a spider’s web woven across the road, what a shock that thin line gives you!  You fristle through every nerve of your body.

If you're walking at night and your face hits a spider's web stretched across the path, what a surprise that thin line gives you! You shiver through every nerve in your body.

Shocks and Memory

Memory is our sense that we are being shocked now as we were shocked then.

Memory is our feeling that we are being shocked now just like we were back then.

Shocks

Given matter conscious in one part of itself of a shock in another part (i.e. knowing in what part of itself it is shocked) retaining a memory of each shock for a little while afterwards, able to feel whether two shocks are simultaneous or in succession, and able to know whether it has been shocked much or little—given also that association does not stick to the letter of its bond—and the rest will follow.

Given that matter is aware in one part of itself that it’s experiencing a shock in another part (meaning it knows where it’s feeling the shock), retains a memory of each shock for a brief period afterward, can sense whether two shocks happen at the same time or one after the other, and can tell if it has been shocked a lot or just a little—also considering that association doesn't cling strictly to its rules—and the rest will follow.

Design

i

There is often connection but no design, as when I stamp my foot with design and shake something down without design, or as when a man runs up against another in the street and knocks him down without intending it.  This is undesign within design.

There’s often a connection but no intention, like when I stomp my foot with purpose and accidentally shake something loose without meaning to, or when a guy bumps into another person on the street and knocks him down unintentionally. This is intention without intention.

Fancied insults are felt by people who see design in a connection where they should see little connection, and no design.

Fancied insults are experienced by people who perceive a connection where there should be little connection and no design.

Connection with design is sometimes hard to distinguish from connection without design; as when a man treads on another’s corns, it is not always easy to say whether he has done so accidentally or on purpose.

Connection with design can sometimes be difficult to tell apart from connection without design; just as when someone steps on another person's toes, it isn't always clear if it was done accidentally or intentionally.

Men have been fond in all ages of ascribing connection where there is none.  Thus astrology has been believed in.  Before last Christmas I said I had neglected the feasts of the Church too much, and that I should probably be more prosperous if I paid more attention to them: so I hung up three pieces of ivy in my rooms on Xmas Eve.  A few months afterwards I got the entail cut off my reversion, but I should hardly think there was much connection between the two things.  Nevertheless I shall hang some holly up this year.

Men have always liked to link things that aren’t actually connected. That’s why astrology has always had believers. Before last Christmas, I mentioned that I had ignored the Church’s feasts too often and that I might do better if I paid more attention to them. So, I put up three pieces of ivy in my rooms on Christmas Eve. A few months later, I managed to get the entail cut off my inheritance, but I really doubt there’s any link between those two events. Still, I plan to put up some holly this year.

ii

It seems also designed, ab extra (though who can say whether this is so?), that no one should know anything whatever about the ultimate, or even deeper springs of growth and action.  If not designed the result is arrived at as effectually as though it were so.

It also seems to be set up from the outside (though who can say if that’s true?) that no one should know anything at all about the ultimate, or even deeper, causes of growth and action. If it’s not intentional, the outcome is achieved just as effectively as if it were.

Accident, Design and Memory

It is right to say either that heredity and memory are one and the same thing, or that heredity is a mode of memory, or that heredity is due to memory, if it is thereby intended that animals can only grow in virtue of being able to recollect.  Memory and heredity are the means of preserving experiences, of building them together, of uniting a mass of often confused detail into homogeneous and consistent mind and matter, but they do not originate.  The increment in each generation, at the moment of its being an increment, has nothing to do with memory or heredity, it is due to the chances and changes of this mortal state.  Design comes in at the moment that a living being either feels a want and forecasts for its gratification, or utilises some waif or stray of accident on the principle, which underlies all development, that enough is a little more than what one has.  It is the business of memory and heredity to conserve and to transmit from one generation to another that which has been furnished by design, or by accident designedly turned to account.

It’s accurate to say that heredity and memory are essentially the same thing, or that heredity is a type of memory, or that heredity arises from memory, if we mean that animals can only develop because they are capable of remembering. Memory and heredity are ways of preserving experiences, combining them, and organizing a mass of often chaotic details into a unified and coherent understanding of both mind and matter, but they don’t initiate anything. The increase seen in each generation, at the point it occurs, has nothing to do with memory or heredity; it’s a result of the random events and changes of life. Design enters the picture when a living being either senses a need and tries to fulfill it or makes use of some random occurrence based on the principle that enough is just a bit more than what one already has. Memory and heredity’s role is to preserve and pass down what has been created through design or through circumstances that are cleverly leveraged.

It is therefore not right to say, as some have supposed me to mean, that we can do nothing which we do not remember to have done before.  We can do nothing very difficult or complicated which we have not done before, unless as by a tour de force, once in a way, under exceptionally favourable circumstances, but our whole conscious life is the performance of acts either imperfectly remembered or not remembered at all.  There are rain-drops of new experiences in every life which are not within the hold of our memory or past experience, and, as each one of these rain-drops came originally from something outside, the whole river of our life has in its inception nothing to do with memory, though it is only through memory that the rain-drops of new experience can ever unite to form a full flowing river of variously organised life and intelligence.

It’s not accurate to say, as some have interpreted me to mean, that we can’t do anything we don’t already remember doing. We can only take on really tough or complicated tasks that we’ve done before, unless we pull off something extraordinary now and then under very favorable circumstances. However, our entire conscious life consists of actions that are either vaguely remembered or not remembered at all. Every life has new experiences that we can't recall from our memory or past experience, and since each of these new experiences originates from something external, the overall flow of our life doesn’t begin with memory. Still, it’s only through memory that these new experiences can come together to create a fully flowing river of diverse experiences and knowledge.

Memory and Mistakes

Memory vanishes with extremes of resemblance or difference.  Things which put us in mind of others must be neither too like nor too unlike them.  It is our sense that a position is not quite the same which makes us find it so nearly the same.  We remember by the aid of differences as much as by that of samenesses.  If there could be no difference there would be no memory, for the two positions would become absolutely one and the same, and the universe would repeat itself for ever and ever as between these two points.

Memory fades in the face of strong similarities or differences. Things that remind us of others need to be neither too similar nor too different. Our perception that something isn’t exactly the same is what allows us to see it as quite similar. We remember as much through differences as we do through similarities. If there were no differences, there would be no memory, because the two situations would become completely identical, and the universe would endlessly repeat itself between these two points.

When ninety-nine hundredths of one set of phenomena are presented while the hundredth is withdrawn without apparent cause, so that we can no longer do something which according to our past experience we ought to find no difficulty in doing, then we may guess what a bee must feel as it goes flying up and down a window-pane.  Then we have doubts thrown upon the fundamental axiom of life, i.e. that like antecedents will be followed by like consequents.  On this we go mad and die in a short time.

When ninety-nine percent of a situation is there and one percent is missing for no clear reason, making it impossible for us to do something we normally have no trouble with, we might imagine how a bee feels as it buzzes up and down a window. This creates doubts about the basic principle of life—that similar causes will lead to similar effects. This drives us to madness and leads to a quick demise.

Mistaken memory may be as potent as genuine recollection, so far as its effects go, unless it happens to come more into collision with other and not mistaken memories than it is able to contend against.

Mistaken memories can be just as powerful as real ones when it comes to their effects, unless they end up conflicting more with other accurate memories than they can handle.

Mistakes or delusions occur mainly in two ways.

Mistakes or misunderstandings happen mainly in two ways.

First, when the circumstances have changed a little but not enough to make us recognise the fact: this may happen either because of want of attention on our part or because of the hidden nature of the alteration, or because of its slightness in itself, the importance depending upon its relations to something else which make a very small change have an importance it would not otherwise have: in these cases the memory reverts to the old circumstances unmodified, a sufficient number of the associated ideas having been reproduced to make us assume the remainder without further inspection, and hence follows a want of harmony between action and circumstances which results in trouble somewhere.

First, when the situation has changed a bit but not enough for us to notice: this can happen because we're not paying attention, because the change is subtle, or because its minor nature relies on its connections to something else, which makes a small change seem more important than it actually is. In these cases, our memory defaults to the old circumstances unchanged, as enough of the related ideas have come back to lead us to assume the rest without checking further, resulting in a mismatch between our actions and the current situation, which causes problems somewhere.

Secondly, through the memory not reverting in full perfection, though the circumstances are reproduced fully and accurately.

Secondly, even though the circumstances are fully and accurately recreated, the memory does not return in its complete perfection.

Remembering

When asked to remember “something” indefinitely you cannot: you look round at once for something to suggest what you shall try and remember.  For thought must be always about some “thing” which thing must either be a thing by courtesy, as an air of Handel’s, or else a solid, tangible object, as a piano or an organ, but always the thing must be linked on to matter by a longer or shorter chain as the case may be.  I was thinking of this once while walking by the side of the Serpentine and, looking round, saw some ducks alighting on the water; their feet reminded me of the way the sea-birds used to alight when I was going to New Zealand and I set to work recalling attendant facts.  Without help from outside I should have remembered nothing.

When you're asked to remember “something” indefinitely, you can’t: you immediately start looking around for something to help you figure out what to try to remember. Thought always has to be about some “thing,” which can either be something abstract, like a piece by Handel, or a solid, tangible object, like a piano or an organ. But whatever it is, it has to be connected to something physical, whether it's closely or loosely related. I was thinking about this once while walking by the Serpentine, and when I looked around, I saw some ducks landing on the water. Their feet reminded me of how sea-birds used to land when I was going to New Zealand, and I started recalling the facts that went along with that. Without any external prompts, I wouldn’t have remembered anything.

A Torn Finger-Nail

Henry Hoare [a college friend], when a young man of about five-and-twenty, one day tore the quick of his fingernail—I mean he separated the fleshy part of the finger from the nail—and this reminded him that many years previously, while quite a child, he had done the same thing.  Thereon he fell to thinking of that time which was impressed upon his memory partly because there was a great disturbance in the house about a missing five-pound note and partly because it was while he had the scarlet fever.

Henry Hoare, a college friend, when he was around twenty-five years old, one day tore the quick of his fingernail—meaning he separated the fleshy part of his finger from the nail—and this reminded him that many years earlier, when he was just a child, he had done the same thing. This led him to think about that time which stuck in his memory partly because there was a big commotion in the house over a missing five-pound note and partly because it was during his battle with scarlet fever.

Following the train of thought aroused by his torn finger, he asked himself how he had torn it, and after a while it came back to him that he had been lying ill in bed as a child of seven at the house of an aunt who lived in Hertfordshire.  His arms often hung out of the bed and, as his hands wandered over the wooden frame, he felt that there was a place where nut had come out so that he could put his fingers in.  One day, in trying to stuff a piece of paper into this hole, he stuffed it in so far and so tightly that he tore the quick of nail.  The whole thing came back vividly and, though he had not thought of it for nearly twenty years, he could see the room in his aunt’s house and remembered how his aunt use to sit by his bedside writing at a little table from which he had got the piece of paper which he had stuffed into the hole.

Following the train of thought sparked by his torn finger, he wondered how it happened. After a moment, he remembered that he had been sick in bed as a seven-year-old at his aunt’s house in Hertfordshire. His arms often hung over the side of the bed, and as his hands explored the wooden frame, he found a spot where a nut had come out, allowing him to stick his fingers in. One day, while trying to cram a piece of paper into this hole, he pushed it in so far and so tightly that he tore the skin beneath his nail. The whole memory returned sharply, and even though he hadn’t thought of it in nearly twenty years, he could picture the room in his aunt's house and recalled how his aunt used to sit by his bedside, writing at a small table from which he had taken the piece of paper he stuffed into the hole.

So far so good.  But then there flashed upon him an idea that was not so pleasant.  I mean it came upon him with irresistible force that the piece of paper, he had stuffed into the hole in the bedstead was the missing five-pound note about which there had been so much disturbance.  At that time he was so young that a five-pound note was to him only a piece of paper; when he heard that the money was missing, he had thought it was five sovereigns; or perhaps he was too ill to think anything, or to be questioned; I forget what I was told about this—at any rate he had no idea of the value of the piece of paper he was stuffing into the hole.  But now the matter had recurred to him at all he felt so sure that it was the note that he immediately went down to Hertfordshire, where his aunt was still living, and asked, to the surprise of every one, to be allowed to wash his hands in the room he had occupied as a child.  He was told that there were friends staying in the house who had the room at present, but, on his saying he had a reason and particularly begging to be allowed to remain alone a little while in this room, he was taken upstairs and left there.

So far, so good. But then a not-so-pleasant thought hit him. It struck him with undeniable force that the piece of paper he had stuffed into the hole in the bedframe was the missing five-pound note that had caused all the fuss. At that time, he was so young that a five-pound note was just a piece of paper to him; when he heard the money was missing, he thought it was five sovereigns, or maybe he was too sick to think about it or be questioned; I can't remember what I was told about it—either way, he had no understanding of the value of the piece of paper he was stuffing into the hole. But now that the issue had come back to him, he felt so certain it was the note that he immediately went down to Hertfordshire, where his aunt still lived, and asked, surprising everyone, if he could wash his hands in the room he had occupied as a child. He was told that friends were staying in that room at the moment, but when he explained he had a reason and insisted on being alone in that room for a bit, he was taken upstairs and left there.

He went to the bed, lifted up the chintz which then covered the frame, and found his old friend the hole.  A nut had been supplied and he could no longer get his finger into it.  He rang the bell and when the servant came asked for a bed-key.  All this time he was rapidly acquiring the reputation of being a lunatic throughout the whole house, but the key was brought, and by the help of it he got the nut off.  When he had done so, there, sure enough, by dint of picking with his pocket-knife, he found the missing five-pound note.

He went over to the bed, pulled back the fabric covering the frame, and discovered his old friend, the hole. A nut had been put in place, and he could no longer fit his finger into it. He rang the bell, and when the servant arrived, he asked for a bed key. The whole time, he was quickly gaining a reputation as a lunatic throughout the house, but the key was brought to him, and with it, he managed to remove the nut. Once he did that, sure enough, with some digging using his pocket knife, he found the missing five-pound note.

See how the return of a given present brings back the presents that have been associated with it.

See how returning a gift brings back the memories associated with it.

Unconscious Association

One morning I was whistling to myself the air “In Sweetest Harmony” from Saul.  Jones heard me and said:

One morning, I was whistling to myself the tune "In Sweetest Harmony" from Saul. Jones heard me and said:

“Do you know why you are whistling that?”

“Do you know why you’re whistling that?”

I said I did not.

I said I didn't.

Then he said: “Did you not hear me, two minutes ago, whistling ‘Eagles were not so Swift’?”

Then he said, “Didn’t you hear me two minutes ago whistling ‘Eagles were not so Swift’?”

I had not noticed his doing so, and it was so long since I had played that chorus myself that I doubt whether I should have consciously recognised it.  That I did recognise it unconsciously is tolerably clear from my having gone on with “In Sweetest Harmony,” which is the air that follows it.

I hadn’t noticed him doing that, and it had been so long since I had played that chorus myself that I’m not sure I would have consciously recognized it. The fact that I did recognize it without realizing is pretty clear since I continued with “In Sweetest Harmony,” which is the tune that comes after it.

Association

If you say “Hallelujah” to a cat, it will excite no fixed set of fibres in connection with any other set and the cat will exhibit none of the phenomena of consciousness.  But if you say “Me-e-at,” the cat will be there in a moment, for the due connection between the sets of fibres has been established.

If you say “Hallelujah” to a cat, it won't trigger any specific response, and the cat won’t show any signs of awareness. But if you say “Me-e-at,” the cat will show up right away because the connection has been made.

Language

The reason why words recall ideas is that the word has been artificially introduced among the associated ideas, and the presence of one idea recalls the others.

The reason words bring ideas to mind is that the word has been intentionally linked to the related ideas, and the presence of one idea triggers the others.

p. 66V
Vibrations

Contributions to Evolution

To me it seems that my contributions to the theory of evolution have been mainly these:

To me, it seems that my contributions to the theory of evolution have mainly been these:

1.  The identification of heredity and memory and the corollaries relating to sports, the reversion to remote ancestors, the phenomena of old age, the causes of the sterility of hybrids and the principles underlying longevity—all of which follow as a matter of course.  This was Life and Habit.  [1877.]

1. The connection between heredity and memory, along with the links to sports, the return to distant ancestors, the effects of old age, the reasons for hybrid sterility, and the factors behind longevity—all of these are natural conclusions. This was Life and Habit.  [1877.]

2.  The re-introduction of teleology into organic life which, to me, seems hardly (if at all) less important than the Life and Habit theory.  This was Evolution Old and New.  [1879.]

2. The reintroduction of purpose into organic life which, to me, seems hardly (if at all) less important than the Life and Habit theory. This was Evolution Old and New. [1879.]

3.  An attempt to suggest an explanation of the physics of memory.  I was alarmed by the suggestion and fathered it upon Professor Hering who never, that I can see, meant to say anything of the kind, but I forced my view on him, as it were, by taking hold of a sentence or two in his lecture, on Memory as a Universal Function of Organised Matter and thus connected memory with vibrations.  This was Unconscious Memory.  [1880.]

3. An attempt to explain the physics of memory. I was worried by the suggestion and attributed it to Professor Hering, who, as far as I can tell, never intended to say anything like that. I pushed my interpretation on him by grabbing a sentence or two from his lecture, on Memory as a Universal Function of Organised Matter, and linked memory to vibrations. This became Unconscious Memory. [1880.]

What I want to do now [1885] is to connect vibrations not only with memory but with the physical constitution of that body in which the memory resides, thus adopting Newland’s law (sometimes called Mendelejeff’s law) that there is only one substance, and that the characteristics of the vibrations going on within it at any given time will determine whether it will appear to us as (say) hydrogen, or sodium, or chicken doing this, or chicken doing the other.  [This touched upon in the concluding chapter of Luck or Cunning?  1887.]

What I want to do now [1885] is to link vibrations not just with memory but with the physical makeup of the body where the memory exists, thus embracing Newland’s law (sometimes known as Mendelejeff’s law) that there is only one substance, and the properties of the vibrations occurring within it at any given moment will determine whether it appears to us as (let’s say) hydrogen, sodium, or chicken doing this, or chicken doing that.  [This is discussed in the concluding chapter of Luck or Cunning?  1887.]

I would make not only the mind, but the body of the organism to depend on the characteristics of the vibrations going on within it.  The same vibrations which remind the chicken that it wants iron for its blood actually turn the pre-existing matter in the egg into the required material.  According to this view the form and characteristics of the elements are as much the living expositions of certain vibrations—are as much our manner of perceiving that the vibrations going on in that part of the one universal substance are such and such—as the colour yellow is our perception that a substance is being struck by vibrations of light, so many to the second, or as the action of a man walking about is our mode of perceiving that such and such another combination of vibrations is, for the present, going on in the substance which, in consequence, has assumed the shape of the particular man.

I would make both the mind and the body of the organism rely on the characteristics of the vibrations happening within it. The same vibrations that signal to the chicken that it needs iron for its blood also transform the existing matter in the egg into the necessary material. From this perspective, the form and characteristics of elements are just as much living representations of certain vibrations—just as our perception of vibrations happening in that part of the universal substance is defined—as the color yellow represents our perception that a substance is being affected by light vibrations at a certain frequency, or as the way a man walking around is our way of perceiving that a specific combination of vibrations is currently occurring in the substance, which has thereby taken on the form of that particular man.

It is somewhere in this neighbourhood that I look for the connection between organic and inorganic.

It’s in this neighborhood that I search for the link between organic and inorganic.

The Universal Substance

i

We shall never get straight till we leave off trying to separate mind and matter.  Mind is not a thing or, if it be, we know nothing about it; it is a function of matter.  Matter is not a thing or, if it be, we know nothing about it; it is a function of mind.

We will never figure things out until we stop trying to separate mind and matter. Mind isn’t just a thing, or if it is, we don’t know anything about it; it’s a function of matter. Matter isn’t just a thing, or if it is, we don’t know anything about it; it’s a function of mind.

We should see an omnipotent, universal substance, sometimes in a dynamical and sometimes in a statical condition and, in either condition, always retaining a little of its opposite; and we should see this substance as at once both material and mental, whether it be in the one condition or in the other.  The statical condition represents content, the dynamical, discontent; and both content and discontent, each still retaining a little of its opposite, must be carried down to the lowest atom.

We should recognize a powerful, all-encompassing substance that sometimes exists in a dynamic state and sometimes in a static one, and in both cases, it always holds a bit of its opposite; we should view this substance as both physical and mental, whether in one state or the other. The static state represents satisfaction, while the dynamic state represents dissatisfaction; both satisfaction and dissatisfaction, each still containing a bit of its opposite, must extend down to the smallest atom.

Action is the process whereby thought, which is mental, is materialised and whereby substance, which is material, is mentalised.  It is like the present, which unites times past and future and which is the only time worth thinking of and yet is the only time which has no existence.

Action is the process in which thoughts, which are mental, become real, and substances, which are real, are turned into ideas. It's like the present, which connects the past and future, and is the only time that really matters while also being the only time that doesn't truly exist.

I do not say that thought actually passes into substance, or mind into matter, by way of action—I do not know what thought is—but every thought involves bodily change, i.e. action, and every action involves thought, conscious or unconscious.  The action is the point of juncture between bodily change, visible and otherwise sensible, and mental change which is invisible except as revealed through action.  So that action is the material symbol of certain states of mind.  It translates the thought into a corresponding bodily change.

I’m not saying that thoughts turn into physical things or that the mind becomes matter through action—I’m not sure what thought really is—but every thought leads to changes in the body, meaning action, and every action is linked to thought, whether we realize it or not. Action is where physical changes, both visible and felt, meet mental changes that we can't see unless they’re shown through our actions. Thus, action is the tangible representation of specific mental states. It converts thought into a related physical change.

ii

When the universal substance is at rest, that is, not vibrating at all, it is absolutely imperceptible whether by itself or anything else.  It is to all intents and purposes fast asleep or, rather, so completely non-existent that you can walk through it, or it through you, and it knows neither time nor space but presents all the appearance of perfect vacuum.  It is in an absolutely statical state.  But when it is not at rest, it becomes perceptible both to itself and others; that is to say, it assumes material guise such as makes it imperceptible both to itself and others.  It is then tending towards rest, i.e. in a dynamical state.  The not being at rest is the being in a vibratory condition.  It is the disturbance of the repose of the universal, invisible and altogether imperceptible substance by way of vibration which constitutes matter at all; it is the character of the vibrations which constitutes the particular kind of matter.  (May we imagine that some vibrations vibrate with a rhythm which has a tendency to recur like the figures in a recurring decimal, and that here we have the origin of the reproductive system?)

When the universal substance is completely still, meaning it's not vibrating at all, it’s completely undetectable, whether on its own or in relation to anything else. It’s essentially fast asleep, or rather, so entirely non-existent that you can walk through it, or it can pass through you, and it doesn’t know time or space, presenting all the signs of perfect vacuum. It’s in a completely static state. However, when it’s not still, it becomes noticeable to both itself and others; in other words, it takes on a material form that makes it detectable to itself and others. At that point, it's moving towards stillness, which means it’s in a dynamic state. Not being still is synonymous with being in a vibratory state. It’s the disturbance of the calm of the universal, invisible, and completely undetectable substance through vibration that creates matter; the specific characteristics of those vibrations determine the type of matter. (Can we imagine that some vibrations occur in a rhythm that tends to repeat, like the figures in a recurring decimal, and that this is the origin of the reproductive system?)

We should realise that all space is at all times full of a stuff endowed with a mind and that both stuff and mind are immaterial and imperceptible so long as they are undisturbed, but the moment they are disturbed the stuff becomes material and the mind perceptible.  It is not easy to disturb them, for the atmosphere protects them.  So long as they are undisturbed they transmit light, etc., just as though they were a rigid substance, for, not being disturbed, they detract nothing from any vibration which enters them.

We should understand that all space is constantly filled with a substance that has a consciousness, and both this substance and consciousness are immaterial and unnoticeable as long as they remain undisturbed. However, once they are disturbed, the substance becomes tangible and the consciousness noticeable. It’s not easy to disturb them because the atmosphere acts as a shield. As long as they are undisturbed, they transmit light and other things as if they were a solid material, since they don't interfere with any vibrations that enter them.

What will cause a row will be the hitting upon some plan for waking up the ether.  It is here that we must look for the extension of the world when it has become over-peopled or when, through its gradual cooling down, it becomes less suitable for a habitation.  By and by we shall make new worlds.

What will cause a stir will be discovering a way to wake up the ether. This is where we need to consider the expansion of the world when it becomes overcrowded or when, due to its gradual cooling, it becomes less hospitable. Eventually, we will create new worlds.

Mental and Physical

A strong hope of £20,000 in the heart of a poor but capable man may effect a considerable redistribution of the forces of nature—may even remove mountains.  The little, unseen impalpable hope sets up a vibrating movement in a messy substance shut in a dark warm place inside the man’s skull.  The vibrating substance undergoes a change that none can note, whereupon rings of rhythm circle outwards from it as from a stone thrown into a pond, so that the Alps are pierced in consequence.

A solid hope of £20,000 in the heart of a poor but capable man can create a significant shift in the forces of nature—maybe even move mountains. The small, invisible hope creates a ripple effect in a chaotic substance confined in a dark, warm spot inside the man’s skull. This vibrating substance undergoes a transformation that no one can see, after which rings of rhythm spread outwards from it like ripples from a stone thrown into a pond, resulting in the Alps being pierced.

Vibrations, Memory and Chemical Properties

The quality of every substance depends upon its vibrations, but so does the quality of all thought and action.  Quality is only one mode of action; the action of developing, the desire to make this or that, and do this or that, and the stuff we make are alike due to the nature and characteristics of vibrations.

The quality of every substance depends on its vibrations, and the same goes for the quality of all thought and action. Quality is just one way of acting; it's the act of creating, the desire to make this or that, and to do this or that. The things we create are all shaped by the nature and characteristics of vibrations.

I want to connect the actual manufacture of the things a chicken makes inside an egg with the desire and memory of the chickens, so as to show that one and the same set of vibrations at once change the universal substratum into the particular phase of it required and awaken a consciousness of, and a memory of and a desire towards, this particular phase on the part of the molecules which are being vibrated into it.  So, for example, that a set of vibrations shall at once turn plain white and yolk of egg into the feathers, blood and bones of a chicken and, at the same time, make the mind of the embryo to be such or such as it is.

I want to connect the actual process of how a chicken produces things inside an egg with the wants and memories of the chickens, to show that the same set of vibrations can transform the universal essence into the specific state needed and trigger an awareness, memory, and desire for that specific state in the molecules being vibrated into it. For example, a set of vibrations can simultaneously turn the plain white and yolk of an egg into the feathers, blood, and bones of a chicken while also shaping the mind of the embryo in a certain way.

Protoplasm and Reproduction

The reason why the offspring of protoplasm progressed, and the offspring of nothing else does so, is that the viscid nature of protoplasm allows vibrations to last a very long time, and so very old vibrations get carried into any fragment that is broken off; whereas in the case of air and water, vibrations get soon effaced and only very recent vibrations get carried into the young air and the young water which are, therefore, born fully grown; they cannot grow any more nor can they decay till they are killed outright by something decomposing them.  If protoplasm was more viscid it would not vibrate easily enough; if less, it would run away into the surrounding water.

The reason why protoplasm's offspring evolve, while nothing else does, is that the sticky nature of protoplasm lets vibrations last a long time, allowing very old vibrations to be carried into any fragment that breaks off. In contrast, vibrations in air and water fade quickly, so only very recent vibrations are present in the young air and young water, which are therefore born fully formed. They can't grow anymore or decay until something decomposes them completely. If protoplasm were stickier, it wouldn't vibrate well enough; if it were less viscous, it would just flow away into the surrounding water.

Germs within Germs

When we say that the germ within the hen’s egg remembers having made itself into a chicken on past occasions, or that each one of 100,000 salmon germs remembers to have made itself into a salmon (male or female) in the persons of the single pair of salmon its parents, do we intend that each single one of these germs was a witness of, and a concurring agent in, the development of the parent forms from their respective germs, and that each one of them therefore, was shut up within the parent germ, like a small box inside a big one?

When we say that the germ inside a hen's egg remembers turning into a chicken before, or that each of the 100,000 salmon germs remembers becoming a salmon (male or female) through the single pair of salmon that are its parents, are we suggesting that each of these germs witnessed the development of the parent forms from their respective germs, and that each one was therefore contained within the parent germ, like a small box inside a larger one?

If so, then the parent germ with its millions of brothers and sisters was in like manner enclosed within a grand-parental germ, and so on till we are driven to admit, after even a very few generations, that each ancestor has contained more germs than could be expressed by a number written in small numerals, beginning at St. Paul’s and ending at Charing Cross.  Mr. Darwin’s provisional theory of pangenesis comes to something very like this, so far as it can be understood at all.

If that’s the case, then the original germ along with its millions of siblings was similarly contained within a grandparental germ, and this pattern continues until we acknowledge that, after just a few generations, each ancestor has held more germs than can be shown by a number written in small digits, from St. Paul’s to Charing Cross. Mr. Darwin’s temporary theory of pangenesis aligns closely with this idea, as much as it can be understood at all.

Therefore it will save trouble (and we should observe no other consideration) to say that the germs that unite to form any given sexually produced individual were not present in the germs, or with the germs, from which the parents sprang, but that they came into the parents’ bodies at some later period.

Therefore, it will save us some trouble (and we should consider nothing else) to say that the germs that join to create any given sexually produced individual were not present in the germs, or with the germs, from which the parents came, but that they entered the parents’ bodies at a later time.

We may perhaps find it convenient to account for their intimate acquaintance with the past history of the body into which they have been introduced by supposing that in virtue of assimilation they have acquired certain periodical rhythms already pre-existing in the parental bodies, and that the communication of the characteristics of these rhythms determines at once the physical and psychical development of the individual in a course as nearly like that of the parents as changed surroundings will allow.

We might find it helpful to explain their close familiarity with the past history of the body they've entered by suggesting that, through assimilation, they've picked up certain periodic rhythms that already existed in the parental bodies. This transfer of rhythm characteristics directly influences both the physical and mental development of the individual, following a path that closely resembles that of the parents, as much as differing surroundings permit.

For, according to my Life and Habit theory, everything in connection with embryonic development is referred to memory, and this involves that the thing remembering should have been present and an actor in the development which it is supposed to remember; but we have just settled that the germs which unite to form any individual, and which when united proceed to develop according to what I suppose to be their memory of their previous developments, were not participators in any previous development and cannot therefore remember it.  They cannot remember even a single development, much less can they remember that infinite series of developments the recollection and epitomisation of which is a sine qua non for the unconsciousness which we note in normal development.  I see no way of getting out of this difficulty so convenient as to say that a memory is the reproduction and recurrence of a rhythm communicated directly or indirectly from one substance to another, and that where a certain rhythm exists there is a certain stock of memories, whether the actual matter in which the rhythm now subsists was present with the matter in which it arose or not.

For, according to my Life and Habit theory, everything related to embryonic development ties back to memory. This means that the thing remembering must have been present and involved in the development it's supposed to recall. However, we've just established that the germs that come together to form any individual, and which when united go on to develop based on what I believe to be their memory of past developments, didn't participate in any previous development and therefore can't remember it. They can't recall even a single developmental event, let alone that endless series of developments that the recollection and summarization of which is a sine qua non for the unconsciousness we observe in normal development. I don't see an easier way to address this issue than to say that memory is the reproduction and recurrence of a rhythm communicated directly or indirectly from one substance to another, and that where a specific rhythm exists, there’s a certain collection of memories, whether the actual material where the rhythm currently exists was present with the material where it originated or not.

There is another little difficulty in the question whether the matter that I suppose introduced into the parents’ bodies during their life-histories, and that goes to form the germs that afterwards become their offspring, is living or non-living.  If living, then it has its own memories and life-histories which must be cancelled and undone before the assimilation and the becoming imbued with new rhythms can be complete.  That is to say it must become as near non-living as anything can become.

There’s another small challenge in figuring out whether the material I think gets introduced into the parents’ bodies during their lives, which eventually forms the seeds that become their offspring, is living or non-living. If it’s living, then it has its own memories and life stories that need to be erased and undone before it can fully assimilate and be infused with new rhythms. In other words, it must become as close to non-living as anything can get.

Sooner or later, then, we get this introduced matter to be non-living (as we may call it) and the puzzle is how to get it living again.  For we strenuously deny equivocal generation.  When matter is living we contend that it can only have been begotten of other like living matter; we deny that it can have become living from non-living.  Here, however, within the bodies of animals and vegetables we find equivocal generation a necessity; nor do I see any way out of it except by maintaining that nothing is ever either quite dead or quite alive, but that a little leaven of the one is always left in the other.  For it would be as difficult to get the thing dead if it is once all alive, as alive if once all dead.

Sooner or later, we encounter this introduced matter that we consider non-living, and the challenge is how to bring it to life again. We strongly reject the concept of spontaneous generation. We argue that living matter can only come from other living matter; we deny that it can become alive from non-living matter. However, within the bodies of animals and plants, we find that spontaneous generation is a necessity; I see no way around it except by asserting that nothing is ever completely dead or fully alive, but that some part of one always remains in the other. It's just as difficult to make something dead if it was once completely alive, as it is to make it alive if it was once completely dead.

According to this view to beget offspring is to communicate to two pieces of protoplasm (which afterwards combine) certain rhythmic vibrations which, though too feeble to generate visible action until they receive accession of fresh similar rhythms from exterior objects, yet on receipt of such accession set the game of development going and maintain it.  It will be observed that the rhythms supposed to be communicated to any germs are such as have been already repeatedly refreshed by rhythms from exterior objects in preceding generations, so that a consonance is rehearsed and pre-arranged, as it were, between the rhythm in the germ and those that in the normal course of its ulterior existence are likely to flow into it.  If there is too serious a discord between inner and outer rhythms the organism dies.

According to this perspective, having children means transmitting specific rhythmic vibrations to two pieces of protoplasm (which then combine). These vibrations are too weak to cause visible changes until they receive similar rhythms from external sources. However, once they do receive these additional rhythms, they kick off the development process and keep it going. It’s important to note that the rhythms thought to be passed on to any germs are those that have been reinforced by external rhythms from previous generations. This creates a sort of harmony that's pre-set between the rhythm in the germ and the rhythms it’s likely to encounter as it grows. If there’s a significant mismatch between the internal and external rhythms, the organism will not survive.

Atoms and Fixed Laws

When people talk of atoms obeying fixed laws, they are either ascribing some kind of intelligence and free will to atoms or they are talking nonsense.  There is no obedience unless there is at any rate a potentiality of disobeying.

When people say that atoms follow strict laws, they are either giving atoms some sort of intelligence and free will, or they are just talking nonsense. There’s no obedience unless there’s at least a possibility of disobedience.

No objection can lie to our supposing potential or elementary volition and consciousness to exist in atoms, on the score that their action would be less regular or uniform if they had free will than if they had not.  By giving them free will we do no more than those who make them bound to obey fixed laws.  They will be as certain to use their freedom of will only in particular ways as to be driven into those ways by obedience to fixed laws.

No one can argue against the idea that potential or basic will and consciousness could exist in atoms, just because their actions might be less predictable or consistent if they had free will compared to if they didn't. By granting them free will, we aren't doing anything different from those who claim they must follow strict laws. They will be just as likely to exercise their will in specific ways as they would be compelled to follow those ways by obeying set laws.

The little element of individual caprice (supposing we start with free will), or (supposing we start with necessity) the little element of stiffneckedness, both of which elements we find everywhere in nature, these are the things that prevent even the most reliable things from being absolutely reliable.  It is they that form the point of contact between this universe and something else quite different in which none of those fundamental ideas obtain without which we cannot think at all.  So we say that nitrous acid is more reliable than nitric for etching.

The small aspect of personal choice (if we assume free will), or (if we assume necessity) the small aspect of stubbornness, both of which we see everywhere in nature, are what keep even the most dependable things from being completely reliable. These are what create the connection between our universe and something entirely different where none of those basic concepts exist, which are necessary for us to think at all. So we say that nitrous acid is more effective than nitric for etching.

Atoms have a mind as much smaller and less complex than ours as their bodies are smaller and less complex.

Atoms have a mind that is much smaller and less complex than ours, just like their bodies are smaller and less complex.

Complex mind involves complex matter and vice versa.  On the whole I think it would be most convenient to endow all atoms with a something of consciousness and volition, and to hold them to be pro tanto, living.  We must suppose them able to remember and forget, i.e. to retain certain vibrations that have been once established—gradually to lose them and to receive others instead.  We must suppose some more intelligent, versatile and of greater associative power than others.

A complex mind involves complex matter, and the reverse is also true. Overall, I believe it would be most practical to attribute a certain level of consciousness and will to all atoms, considering them to be pro tanto, living. We should assume they can remember and forget, meaning they can hold onto specific vibrations that were once established—gradually losing them and picking up new ones instead. Some atoms must be more intelligent, adaptable, and have greater associative abilities than others.

Thinking

All thinking is of disturbance, dynamical, a state of unrest tending towards equilibrium.  It is all a mode of classifying and of criticising with a view of knowing whether it gives us, or is likely to give us, pleasure or no.

All thinking involves disruption, is dynamic, and represents a state of unease aiming for balance. It’s all about classifying and critiquing to determine whether it brings us, or is likely to bring us, pleasure or not.

Equilibrium

In the highest consciousness there is still unconsciousness, in the lowest unconsciousness there is still consciousness.  If there is no consciousness there is no thing, or nothing.  To understand perfectly would be to cease to understand at all.

In the highest state of awareness, there’s still unawareness, and in the lowest state of unawareness, there’s still awareness. If there’s no awareness, there’s nothing at all. To fully comprehend would mean to stop comprehending entirely.

It is in the essence of heaven that we are not to be thwarted or irritated, this involves absolute equilibrium and absolute equilibrium involves absolute unconsciousness.  Christ is equilibrium—the not wanting anything, either more or less.  Death also is equilibrium.  But Christ is a more living kind of death than death is.

It is in the essence of heaven that we are not to be obstructed or annoyed; this signifies complete balance, and complete balance involves total unconsciousness. Christ represents balance—the state of not desiring anything, either more or less. Death also represents balance. However, Christ embodies a more vibrant type of death than actual death does.

p. 74VI
Mind and Matter

Motion

We cannot define either motion or matter, but we have certain rough and ready ideas concerning them which, right or wrong, we must make the best of without more words, for the chances are ten to one that attempted definition will fuzz more than it will clear.

We can’t clearly define motion or matter, but we have some basic ideas about them that, right or wrong, we have to work with without overthinking it, because attempting to define them is more likely to confuse than clarify.

Roughly, matter and motion are functions one of another, as are mind and matter; they are essentially concomitant with one another, and neither can vary but the other varies also.  You cannot have a thing “matter” by itself which shall have no motion in it, nor yet a thing “motion” by itself which shall exist apart from matter; you must have both or neither.  You can have matter moving much, or little, and in all conceivable ways; but you cannot have matter without any motion more than you can have motion without any matter that is moving.

Roughly speaking, matter and motion depend on each other, just like mind and matter; they are inherently linked, and if one changes, the other does too. You can’t have “matter” on its own without any motion, nor can you have “motion” that exists separately from matter; you need both or neither. You can have matter that moves a lot or a little, and in all sorts of ways; but you can’t have matter without any motion just like you can’t have motion without any matter that’s moving.

Its states, its behaviour under varying circumstances, that is to say the characteristics of its motions, are all that we can cognise in respect of matter.  We recognise certain varying states or conditions of matter and give one state one name, and another another, as though it were a man or a dog; but it is the state not the matter that we cognise, just as it is the man’s moods and outward semblance that we alone note, while knowing nothing of the man.  Of matter in its ultimate essence and apart from motion we know nothing whatever.  As far as we are concerned there is no such thing: it has no existence: for de non apparentibus et non existentibus eadem est ratio.

Its states and behaviors under different circumstances, meaning the characteristics of its movements, are all that we can recognize in relation to matter. We identify certain varying states or conditions of matter and assign one state a name and another a different name, as if they were a person or a dog; but it is the state, not the matter, that we recognize, just like we notice a person’s moods and outward appearance while knowing nothing about the person themselves. We know nothing at all about matter in its ultimate essence and apart from motion. As far as we’re concerned, there is no such thing: it has no existence: for de non apparentibus et non existentibus eadem est ratio.

It is a mistake, therefore, to speak about an “eternal unchangeable underlying substance” as I am afraid I did in the last pages of Luck or Cunning? but I am not going to be at the trouble of seeing.  For, if the substance is eternal and unknowable and unchangeable, it is tantamount to nothing.  Nothing can be nearer non-existence than eternal unknowableness and unchangeableness.

It’s a mistake, then, to talk about an “eternal unchangeable underlying substance,” as I’m afraid I did in the last pages of Luck or Cunning? but I’m not going to bother to check. Because if the substance is eternal, unknowable, and unchangeable, it’s basically nothing. Nothing can be closer to non-existence than eternal unknowability and unchangeability.

If, on the other hand, the substance changes, then it is not unknowable, or uncognisable, for by cognising its changes we cognise it.  Changes are the only things that we can cognise.  Besides, we cannot have substance changing without condition changing, and if we could we might as well ignore condition.  Does it not seem as though, since the motions or states are all that we cognise, they should be all that we need take account of?  Change of condition is change of substance.  Then what do we want with substance?  Why have two ideas when one will do?

If, on the other hand, the substance changes, then it’s not unknowable or uncognizable, because by recognizing its changes, we understand it. Changes are the only things we can recognize. Also, we can’t have substance changing without condition changing, and if we could, we might as well ignore condition. Doesn’t it seem that since motions or states are all we recognize, they should be all we need to consider? Change in condition is a change in substance. So why do we need substance? Why have two concepts when one will suffice?

I suppose it has all come about because there are so many tables and chairs and stones that appear not to be moving, and this gave us the idea of a solid substance without any motion in it.

I guess it all started because there are so many tables, chairs, and stones that seem to be completely still, and this led us to think of a solid substance that isn’t moving at all.

How would it be to start with motion approximately patent, and motion approximately latent (absolute patency and absolute latency being unattainable), and lay down that motion latent as motion becomes patent as substance, or matter of chair-and-table order; and that when patent as motion it is latent as matter and substance?

How would it be to begin with motion that is nearly patent, and motion that is nearly latent (with absolute patency and absolute latency being impossible to achieve), and establish that motion that is latent becomes patent as substance, or matter of the chair-and-table kind; and that when it is patent as motion, it is latent as matter and substance?

I am only just recovering from severe influenza and have no doubt I have been writing nonsense.

I’m just getting over a bad case of the flu and I’m sure I’ve been writing nonsense.

Matter and Mind

i

People say we can conceive the existence of matter and the existence of mind.  I doubt it.  I doubt how far we have any definite conception of mind or of matter, pure and simple.

People say we can understand the existence of matter and the existence of the mind. I’m not so sure. I question how clearly we really grasp the concepts of mind or matter, in their purest forms.

What is meant by conceiving a thing or understanding it?  When we hear of a piece of matter instinct with mind, as protoplasm, for example, there certainly comes up before our closed eyes an idea, a picture which we imagine to bear some resemblance to the thing we are hearing of.  But when we try to think of matter apart from every attribute of matter (and this I suspect comes ultimately to “apart from every attribute of mind”) we get no image before our closed eyes—we realise nothing to ourselves.  Perhaps we surreptitiously introduce some little attribute, and then we think we have conceived of matter pure and simple, but this I think is as far as we can go.  The like holds good for mind: we must smuggle in a little matter before we get any definite idea at all.

What does it mean to conceive of or understand something? When we hear about a piece of matter that has mind, like protoplasm for example, we definitely picture something in our minds that we believe is similar to what we’re hearing about. But when we try to think of matter without any of its attributes (and I suspect this ultimately means “without any attributes of mind”), we can’t visualize anything—it’s like we don’t understand it at all. Maybe we sneak in some attribute, and then we think we’ve grasped matter in its purest form, but I believe that’s as far as we can get. The same goes for mind: we have to sneak in a bit of matter before we can form any clear idea.

ii

Matter and mind are as heat and cold, as life and death, certainty and uncertainty, union and separateness.  There is no absolute heat, life, certainty, union, nor is there any absolute cold, death, uncertainty or separateness.

Matter and mind are like heat and cold, life and death, certainty and uncertainty, togetherness and separateness. There is no absolute heat, life, certainty, or togetherness, just as there is no absolute cold, death, uncertainty, or separateness.

We can conceive of no ultimate limit beyond which a thing cannot become either hotter or colder, there is no limit; there are degrees of heat and cold, but there is no heat so great that we cannot fancy its becoming a little hotter, that is we cannot fancy its not having still a few degrees of cold in it which can be extracted.  Heat and cold are always relative to one another, they are never absolute.  So with life and death, there is neither perfect life nor perfect death, but in the highest life there is some death and in the lowest death there is still some life.  The fraction is so small that in practice it may and must be neglected; it is neglected, however, not as of right but as of grace, and the right to insist on it is never finally and indefeasibly waived.

We can't imagine any ultimate limit where something can't be either hotter or colder; there’s no limit. There are different degrees of heat and cold, but no amount of heat is so extreme that we can't picture it getting a little hotter, meaning we can't imagine it completely devoid of a few degrees of cold that could be removed. Heat and cold are always relative to each other; they are never absolute. The same goes for life and death—there's no perfect life or perfect death. In the fullest life, there’s some death, and in the most limited death, there’s still a bit of life. The difference is so minor that in practice, it can and should be overlooked; however, it's overlooked not as a matter of right but as a matter of grace, and the right to insist on it is never completely and permanently given up.

iii

An energy is a soul—a something working in us.

An energy is a soul—something that works within us.

As we cannot imagine heat apart from something which is hot, nor motion without something that is moving, so we cannot imagine an energy, or working power, without matter through which it manifests itself.

As we can't picture heat without something hot, or motion without something moving, we also can't conceive of energy or working power without matter that makes it visible.

On the other hand, we cannot imagine matter without thinking of it as capable of some kind of working power or energy—we cannot think of matter without thinking of it as in some way ensouled.

On the other hand, we can't think of matter without considering it as having some form of working power or energy—we can't think of matter without viewing it as being, in some way, alive.

iv

Matter and mind form one another, i.e. they give to one another the form in which we see them.  They are the helpmeets to one another that cross each other and undo each other and, in the undoing, do and, in the doing, undo, and so see-saw ad infinitum.

Matter and mind shape each other, meaning they give each other the form in which we perceive them. They assist each other, intersecting and undoing one another, and in that undoing, they create, and in creating, they undo, constantly oscillating ad infinitum.

Organic and Inorganic

Animals and plants cannot understand our business, so we have denied that they can understand their own.  What we call inorganic matter cannot understand the animals’ and plants’ business, we have therefore denied that it can understand anything whatever.

Animals and plants can’t grasp our affairs, so we’ve claimed they can’t understand their own either. What we refer to as inorganic matter can’t comprehend the concerns of animals and plants, so we’ve consequently denied that it can understand anything at all.

What we call inorganic is not so really, but the organisation is too subtle for our senses or for any of those appliances with which we assist them.  It is deducible however as a necessity by an exercise of the reasoning faculties.

What we refer to as inorganic isn't actually that way; the organization is too intricate for our senses or for any tools we use to assist them. However, it can be inferred as a necessity through the use of reasoning.

People looked at glaciers for thousands of years before they found out that ice was a fluid, so it has taken them and will continue to take them not less before they see that the inorganic is not wholly inorganic.

People observed glaciers for thousands of years before realizing that ice behaves like a fluid, so it has taken and will continue to take them longer to understand that the inorganic isn't completely inorganic.

The Power to make Mistakes

This is one of the criteria of life as we commonly think of it.  If oxygen could go wrong and mistake some other gas for hydrogen and thus learn not to mistake it any more, we should say oxygen was alive.  The older life is, the more unerring it becomes in respect of things about which it is conversant—the more like, in fact, it becomes to such a thing as the force of gravity, both as regards unerringness and unconsciousness.

This is one of the criteria of life as we usually think of it. If oxygen could make a mistake and confuse some other gas for hydrogen, and then learn not to confuse it anymore, we would consider oxygen to be alive. The older life gets, the more reliable it becomes about things it knows—essentially becoming more like something such as the force of gravity, in terms of reliability and being unconscious.

Is life such a force as gravity in process of formation, and was gravity once—or rather, were things once liable to make mistakes on such a subject as gravity?

Is life a force like gravity during its formation, and was gravity ever—or rather, were things ever prone to make mistakes about gravity?

If any one will tell me what life is I will tell him whether the inorganic is alive or not.

If anyone can explain to me what life is, I'll let them know if non-living things are alive or not.

The Omnipresence of Intelligence

A little while ago no one would admit that animals had intelligence.  This is now conceded.  At any rate, then, vegetables had no intelligence.  This is being fast disputed.  Even Darwin leans towards the view that they have intelligence.  At any rate, then, the inorganic world has not got an intelligence.  Even this is now being denied.  Death is being defeated at all points.  No sooner do we think we have got a bona fide barrier than it breaks down.  The divisions between varieties, species, genus, all gone; between instinct and reason, gone; between animals and plants, gone; between man and the lower animals, gone; so, ere long, the division between organic and inorganic will go and will take with it the division between mind and matter.

Not long ago, nobody would acknowledge that animals were intelligent. Now, that’s accepted. At some point, it was believed that plants had no intelligence. This view is being challenged. Even Darwin suggests they might have intelligence. On the other hand, it was thought that the inorganic world lacked intelligence. Even this idea is being questioned. Death is being overcome in every way. Just when we think we’ve found a definite boundary, it crumbles. The distinctions between varieties, species, and genera are disappearing; the line between instinct and reason has vanished; the gap between animals and plants has closed; the separation between humans and lower animals is fading. Soon enough, the barrier between the organic and inorganic will dissolve, taking with it the line between mind and matter.

The Super-Organic Kingdom

As the solid inorganic kingdom supervened upon the gaseous (vestiges of the old being, nevertheless, carried over into and still persisting in the new) and as the organic kingdom supervened upon the inorganic (vestiges of the old being, again, carried over into and still persisting in the new) so a third kingdom is now in process of development, the super-organic, of which we see the germs in the less practical and more emotional side of our nature.

As the solid inorganic world emerged from the gaseous one (with remnants of the old still existing in the new), and as the organic world arose from the inorganic (again, remnants of the old carried into and still present in the new), a third kingdom is now developing, the super-organic, of which we can see the beginnings in the more emotional and less practical aspects of our nature.

Man, for example, is the only creature that interests himself in his own past, or forecasts his future to any considerable extent.  This tendency I would see as the monad of a new regime—a regime that will be no more governed by the ideas and habits now prevailing among ourselves than we are by those still obtaining among stones or water.  Nevertheless, if a man be shot out of a cannon, or fall from a great height, he is to all intents and purposes a mere stone.  Place anything in circumstances entirely foreign to its immediate antecedents, and those antecedents become non-existent to it, it returns to what it was before they existed, to the last stage that it can recollect as at all analogous to its present.

Man, for instance, is the only creature that takes an interest in his own past or makes significant predictions about his future. I see this tendency as the root of a new order—a way of living that won’t be dictated by the ideas and habits we currently have any more than we are influenced by those that exist among stones or water. Still, if a person is shot out of a cannon or falls from a great height, he essentially becomes like a stone. Put anything in completely unfamiliar circumstances, and its previous context becomes irrelevant; it reverts to what it was before those circumstances, returning to the last stage it can remember that is at all similar to its current situation.

Feeling

Man is a substance, he knows not what, feeling, he knows not how, a rest and unrest that he can only in part distinguish.  He is a substance feeling equilibrium or want of equilibrium; that is to say, he is a substance in a statical or dynamical condition and feeling the passage from one state into the other.

Man is a being, unsure of what he is, feeling without knowing how. He experiences both rest and unrest, which he can only partially recognize. He is a being sensing balance or lack of balance; in other words, he exists in a static or dynamic state and feels the transition from one state to another.

Feeling is an art and, like any other art, can be acquired by taking pains.  The analogy between feelings and words is very close.  Both have their foundation in volition and deal largely in convention; as we should not be word-ridden so neither should we be feeling-ridden; feelings can deceive us; they can lie; they can be used in a non-natural, artificial sense; they can be forced; they can carry us away; they can be restrained.

Feeling is an art, and like any other art, it can be developed with effort. The connection between feelings and words is quite strong. Both are rooted in choice and largely based on social norms; just as we shouldn't be trapped by words, we shouldn't be trapped by feelings either. Feelings can mislead us; they can be false; they can be expressed in a forced, unnatural way; they can overwhelm us; and they can also be controlled.

When the surroundings are familiar, we know the right feeling and feel it accordingly, or if “we” (that is the central government of our personality) do not feel it, the subordinate departmental personality, whose business it is, feels it in the usual way and then goes on to something else.  When the surroundings are less familiar and the departmental personality cannot deal with them, the position is reported through the nervous system to the central government which is frequently at a loss to know what feeling to apply.  Sometimes it happens to discern the right feeling and apply it, sometimes it hits upon an inappropriate one and is thus induced to proceed from solecism to solecism till the consequences lead to a crisis from which we recover and which, then becoming a leading case, forms one of the decisions on which our future action is based.  Sometimes it applies a feeling that is too inappropriate, as when the position is too horribly novel for us to have had any experience that can guide the central government in knowing how to feel about it, and this results in a cessation of the effort involved in trying to feel.  Hence we may hope that the most horrible apparent suffering is not felt beyond a certain point, but is passed through unconsciously under a natural, automatic anæsthetic—the unconsciousness, in extreme cases, leading to death.

When we're in familiar surroundings, we know the right emotions and feel them appropriately. If we (meaning the core part of our personality) don’t feel it, the subordinate part, which is responsible for that, feels it in the usual way and then moves on to other things. When we're in less familiar surroundings and that subordinate part can't handle it, the situation gets reported through the nervous system to the core part, which often struggles to determine what emotion to use. Sometimes it manages to recognize the appropriate emotion and responds correctly, while other times it chooses an inappropriate one, leading to a series of errors until the results create a crisis. We then recover from this crisis, which later serves as a reference point for future decisions. Occasionally, the core part responds with a feeling that's completely off-base, especially when the situation is so unprecedented that we have no prior experience to inform our emotions, leading to a halt in the effort to feel at all. This suggests that even the most extreme suffering might not be felt beyond a certain threshold and is instead passed through unconsciously, almost like a natural anesthetic—sometimes leading to complete unconsciousness and, in extreme situations, death.

It is generally held that animals feel; it will soon be generally held that plants feel; after that it will be held that stones also can feel.  For, as no matter is so organic that there is not some of the inorganic in it, so, also, no matter is so inorganic that there is not some of the organic in it.  We know that we have nerves and that we feel, it does not follow that other things do not feel because they have no nerves—it only follows that they do not feel as we do.  The difference between the organic and the inorganic kingdoms will some day be seen to lie in the greater power of discriminating its feelings which is possessed by the former.  Both are made of the same universal substance but, in the case of the organic world, this substance is able to feel more fully and discreetly and to show us that it feels.

It’s widely believed that animals have feelings; soon, it will be widely believed that plants have feelings too; after that, people will think that even rocks can feel. Just as no matter is so organic that there isn’t some inorganic aspect to it, no matter is so inorganic that there isn’t some organic element in it. We know we have nerves and can feel; it doesn’t mean that other things don’t feel just because they lack nerves—it just means they don’t feel the same way we do. The difference between the organic and inorganic realms will eventually be recognized as the greater ability to discern feelings that the former possesses. Both are made from the same universal substance, but in the organic world, this substance can feel more completely and subtly and demonstrate that it can feel.

Animals and plants, as they advance in the scale of life differentiate their feelings more and more highly; they record them better and recognise them more readily.  They get to know what they are doing and feeling, not step by step only, nor sentence by sentence, but in long flights, forming chapters and whole books of action and sensation.  The difference as regards feeling between man and the lower animals is one of degree and not of kind.  The inorganic is less expert in differentiating its feelings, therefore its memory of them must be less enduring; it cannot recognise what it could scarcely cognise.  One might as well for some purposes, perhaps, say at once, as indeed people generally do for most purposes, that the inorganic does not feel; nevertheless the somewhat periphrastic way of putting it, by saying that the inorganic feels but does not know, or knows only very slightly, how to differentiate its feelings, has the advantage of expressing the fact that feeling depends upon differentiation and sense of relation inter se of the things differentiated—a fact which, if never expressed, is apt to be lost sight of.

Animals and plants, as they evolve in the hierarchy of life, become more sophisticated in how they differentiate their feelings; they record them better and recognize them more easily. They learn to understand their actions and emotions not just gradually or sentence by sentence, but in broader strokes, creating chapters and entire books of experiences and sensations. The distinction in feelings between humans and lower animals is one of extent, not type. Inorganic matter is less skilled at differentiating its feelings, so its memory of them is likely to be less lasting; it can’t recognize what it barely understands. For some purposes, it's common to say that inorganic matter doesn’t feel; however, saying that it feels but lacks the ability to distinguish its feelings has the benefit of highlighting that feeling relies on differentiation and the relational understanding of the things being differentiated—a point that can easily be overlooked if not articulated clearly.

As, therefore, human discrimination is to that of the lower animals, so the discrimination of the lower animals and plants is to that of inorganic things.  In each case it is greater discriminating power (and this is mental power) that underlies the differentiation, but in no case can there be a denial of mental power altogether.

As human discrimination is to that of lower animals, the discrimination of lower animals and plants is to that of inorganic things. In each case, it is a greater ability to differentiate (which is a mental ability) that underlies the distinctions, but in no case can we completely deny the presence of mental ability.

Opinion and Matter

Moral force and material force do pass into one another; a conflict of opinion often ends in a fight.  Putting it the other way, there is no material conflict without attendant clash of opinion.  Opinion and matter act and react as do all things else; they come up hand in hand out of something which is both and neither, but, so far as we can catch sight of either first on our mental horizon, it is opinion that is the prior of the two.

Moral force and material force connect with each other; a disagreement often leads to a conflict. Conversely, there is no physical conflict without a corresponding clash of opinions. Opinion and matter interact like everything else; they arise together from something that is both and neither. However, as far as we can perceive either first in our minds, it’s opinion that comes first.

Moral Influence

The caracal lies on a shelf in its den in the Zoological Gardens quietly licking its fur.  I go up and stand near it.  It makes a face at me.  I come a little nearer.  It makes a worse face and raises itself up on its haunches.  I stand and look.  It jumps down from its shelf and makes as if it intended to go for me.  I move back.  The caracal has exerted a moral influence over me which I have been unable to resist.

The caracal is lounging on a shelf in its den at the zoo, quietly grooming its fur. I approach and stand next to it. It glares at me. I inch a little closer. It glares harder and stands up on its hind legs. I keep watching. It jumps down from its shelf and acts like it wants to come after me. I step back. The caracal has had a strong effect on me that I can't seem to shake off.

Moral influence means persuading another that one can make that other more uncomfortable than that other can make oneself.

Moral influence means convincing someone that you can make them more uncomfortable than they can make themselves.

Mental and Physical Pabulum

When we go up to the shelves in the reading-room of the British Museum, how like it is to wasps flying up and down an apricot tree that is trained against a wall, or cattle coming down to drink at a pool!

When we head up to the shelves in the reading room of the British Museum, it’s so much like wasps buzzing around an apricot tree that’s been trained against a wall, or cows coming down to drink at a pond!

Eating and Proselytising

All eating is a kind of proselytising—a kind of dogmatising—a maintaining that the eater’s way of looking at things is better than the eatee’s.  We convert the food, or try to do so, to our own way of thinking, and, when it sticks to its own opinion and refuses to be converted, we say it disagrees with us.  An animal that refuses to let another eat it has the courage of its convictions and, if it gets eaten, dies a martyr to them.  So we can only proselytise fresh meat, the convictions of putrid meat begin to be too strong for us.

All eating is a form of proselytizing—a way of asserting that the eater's perspective is superior to that of the food. We try to convert the food to our way of thinking, and when it stands its ground and won't be converted, we claim it doesn't agree with us. An animal that won’t let another eat it has the courage of its beliefs, and if it gets eaten, it dies a martyr for those beliefs. So, we can only proselytize fresh meat; the beliefs of spoiled meat become too overwhelming for us.

It is good for a man that he should not be thwarted—that he should have his own way as far, and with as little difficulty, as possible.  Cooking is good because it makes matters easier by unsettling the meat’s mind and preparing it for new ideas.  All food must first be prepared for us by animals and plants, or we cannot assimilate it; and so thoughts are more easily assimilated that have been already digested by other minds.  A man should avoid converse with things that have been stunted or starved, and should not eat such meat as has been overdriven or underfed or afflicted with disease, nor should he touch fruit or vegetables that have not been well grown.

It’s beneficial for a person not to be hindered—that he should get his way as much as possible and with minimal effort. Cooking is helpful because it simplifies things by changing the meat's nature and preparing it for new ideas. All food must first be processed for us by animals and plants, or we can’t digest it; similarly, thoughts are more easily understood if they've already been considered by others. A person should steer clear of interacting with ideas that have been neglected or underdeveloped and should avoid consuming meat that has been poorly raised or unhealthy, as well as fruit or vegetables that haven’t been well cultivated.

Sitting quiet after eating is akin to sitting still during divine service so as not to disturb the congregation.  We are catechising and converting our proselytes, and there should be no row.  As we get older we must digest more quietly still, our appetite is less, our gastric juices are no longer so eloquent, they have lost that cogent fluency which carried away all that came in contact with it.  They have become sluggish and unconciliatory.  This is what happens to any man when he suffers from an attack of indigestion.

Sitting quietly after eating is like sitting still during a worship service to avoid disturbing others. We’re teaching and converting our newcomers, and there should be no noise. As we get older, we have to digest even more quietly; our appetite decreases, and our stomach acids are no longer as effective. They've lost that persuasive power that used to process everything they came into contact with. They've become sluggish and uncooperative. This is what happens to anyone when they have indigestion.

Sea-Sickness

Or, indeed, any other sickness is the inarticulate expression of the pain we feel on seeing a proselyte escape us just as we were on the point of converting it.

Or, in fact, any other illness is the unspoken expression of the pain we feel when we see a newcomer slip away just as we were about to win them over.

Indigestion

This, as I have said above, may be due to the naughtiness of the stiff-necked things that we have eaten, or to the poverty of our own arguments; but it may also arise from an attempt on the part of the stomach to be too damned clever, and to depart from precedent inconsiderately.  The healthy stomach is nothing if not conservative.  Few radicals have good digestions.

This, as I mentioned earlier, might be because of the stubborn stuff we've eaten, or the weakness of our own arguments; but it could also come from the stomach trying to be too clever and disregarding tradition recklessly. A healthy stomach is nothing if not traditional. Few radicals have good digestion.

Assimilation and Persecution

We cannot get rid of persecution; if we feel at all we must persecute something; the mere acts of feeding and growing are acts of persecution.  Our aim should be to persecute nothing but such things as are absolutely incapable of resisting us.  Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.

We can’t escape persecution; if we feel anything, we will have to persecute something. Simply feeding and growing are forms of persecution. Our goal should be to only persecute things that can’t defend themselves against us. Humans are the only animals that can keep friendly relationships with the creatures they plan to eat right until the moment they eat them.

Matter Infinitely Subdivisible

We must suppose it to be so, but it does not follow that we can know anything about it if it is divided into pieces smaller than a certain size; and, if we can know nothing about it when so divided, then, qua us, it has no existence and therefore matter, qua us, is not infinitely subdivisible.

We have to assume it's true, but that doesn't mean we can know anything about it if it's split into pieces smaller than a certain size; and if we can't know anything about it when it's divided like that, then, qua us, it doesn't exist, and thus matter, qua us, is not infinitely divisible.

Differences

We often say that things differ in degree but not in kind, as though there were a fixed line at which degree ends and kind begins.  There is no such line.  All differences resolve themselves into differences of degree.  Everything can in the end be united with everything by easy stages if a way long enough and round-about enough be taken.  Hence to the metaphysician everything will become one, being united with everything else by degrees so subtle that there is no escape from seeing the universe as a single whole.  This in theory; but in practice it would get us into such a mess that we had better go on talking about differences of kind as well as of degree.

We often say that things vary in degree but not in kind, as though there's a clear boundary where degree ends and kind begins. There's no such boundary. All differences ultimately come down to differences in degree. Everything can eventually be linked to everything else through a gradual process if we take a long enough and indirect enough route. Therefore, to the metaphysician, everything will merge into one, becoming connected to everything else through such subtle degrees that there’s no way to avoid seeing the universe as a complete whole. This is the theory; however, in practice, it would lead to such confusion that we might as well keep discussing differences in both kind and degree.

Union and Separation

In the closest union there is still some separate existence of component parts; in the most complete separation there is still a reminiscence of union.  When they are most separate, the atoms seem to bear in mind that they may one day have to come together again; when most united, they still remember that they may come to fall out some day and do not give each other their full, unreserved confidence.

In the closest union, the individual parts still exist separately; in the most complete separation, there's still a hint of their union. When they are most apart, the atoms seem to remember that they might one day come together again; when they are most united, they still recall that they might eventually fall out and don't fully trust each other.

The difficulty is how to get unity and separateness at one and the same time.  The two main ideas underlying all action are desire for closer unity and desire for more separateness.  Nature is the puzzled sense of a vast number of things which feel they are in an illogical position and should be more either of one thing or the other than they are.  So they will first be this and then that, and act and re-act and keep the balance as near equal as they can, yet they know all the time that it isn’t right and, as they incline one way or the other, they will love or hate.

The challenge is finding a way to achieve both unity and separateness at the same time. The two main ideas that drive all actions are the desire for closer unity and the desire for greater separateness. Nature reflects a confused sense of countless things that feel they're in a strange position, sensing they should be more one thing or the other than they currently are. So they will first be one thing and then the other, acting and reacting while trying to keep the balance as equal as possible. Yet, they constantly realize that it isn’t quite right, and as they lean toward one side or the other, they will experience love or hate.

When we love, we draw what we love closer to us; when we hate a thing, we fling it away from us.  All disruption and dissolution is a mode of hating; and all that we call affinity is a mode of loving.

When we love, we pull what we love closer to us; when we hate something, we push it away. All disruption and breaking apart is a form of hatred; and everything we refer to as connection is a form of love.

The puzzle which puzzles every atom is the puzzle which puzzles ourselves—a conflict of duties—our duty towards ourselves, and our duty as members of a body politic.  It is swayed by its sense of being a separate thing—of having a life to itself which nothing can share; it is also swayed by the feeling that, in spite of this, it is only part of an individuality which is greater than itself and which absorbs it.  Its action will vary with the predominance of either of these two states of opinion.

The mystery that confuses every individual is the same mystery that confuses us—a clash of responsibilities—our responsibility to ourselves and our responsibility as members of a society. It is influenced by the awareness of being a separate entity—having a life of its own that no one else can partake in; it is also influenced by the sense that, despite this, it is only a part of a larger identity that encompasses it. Its behavior will change depending on which of these two viewpoints is more dominant.

Unity and Multitude

We can no longer separate things as we once could: everything tends towards unity; one thing, one action, in one place, at one time.  On the other hand, we can no longer unify things as we once could; we are driven to ultimate atoms, each one of which is an individuality.  So that we have an infinite multitude of things doing an infinite multitude of actions in infinite time and space; and yet they are not many things, but one thing.

We can’t divide things like we used to: everything is heading toward unity; one thing, one action, in one place, at one time. On the flip side, we can’t unify things as we once did; we’re reduced to basic units, each of which is its own individual. So now we have an endless number of things performing an endless number of actions in endless time and space; yet, they aren’t a bunch of separate things, but one single entity.

The Atom

The idea of an indivisible, ultimate atom is inconceivable by the lay mind.  If we can conceive an idea of the atom at all, we can conceive it as capable of being cut in half indeed, we cannot conceive it at all unless we so conceive it.  The only true atom, the only thing which we cannot subdivide and cut in half, is the universe.  We cannot cut a bit off the universe and put it somewhere else.  Therefore, the universe is a true atom and, indeed, is the smallest piece of indivisible matter which our minds can conceive; and they cannot conceive it any more than they can the indivisible, ultimate atom.

The concept of an indivisible, ultimate atom is hard for most people to understand. If we can even imagine the idea of an atom, we naturally think of it as something that can be split in half. In fact, we can't really grasp the idea unless we see it that way. The only true atom, the only thing we can’t divide or cut in half, is the universe. We can’t take a piece of the universe and move it somewhere else. So, the universe is a true atom and, in fact, is the smallest piece of indivisible matter that we can think of; and we can’t understand it any more than we can the ultimate indivisible atom.

Our Cells

A string of young ducklings as they sidle along through grass beside a ditch—how like they are to a single serpent!  I said in Life and Habit that a colossal being, looking at the earth through a microscope, would probably think the ants and flies of one year the same as those of the preceding year.  I should have added:—So we think we are composed of the same cells from year to year, whereas in truth the cells are a succession of generations.  The most continuous, homogeneous things we know are only like a lot of cow-bells on an alpine pasture.

A line of young ducklings waddles through the grass next to a ditch—how much they resemble a single snake! I mentioned in Life and Habit that a giant creature, looking at the earth through a microscope, would probably think that the ants and flies of one year are the same as those from the year before. I should have added:—We believe we’re made up of the same cells year after year, but in reality, the cells are a series of generations. The most continuous, uniform things we know are just like a bunch of cowbells in an alpine meadow.

Nerves and Postmen

A letter, so long as it is connected with one set of nerves, is one thing; loose it from connection with those nerves—open your fingers and drop it in the opening of a pillar box—and it becomes part and parcel of another nervous system.  Letters in transitu contain all manner of varied stimuli and shocks, yet to the postman, who is the nerve that conveys them, they are all alike, except as regards mere size and weight.  I should think, therefore, that our nerves and ganglia really see no difference in the stimuli that they convey.

A letter, as long as it’s associated with one set of nerves, is one thing; but if you disconnect it from those nerves—open your fingers and drop it into a mailbox—it becomes part of a different nervous system. Letters in transit carry all kinds of different signals and impacts, yet to the mailman, who is the nerve that delivers them, they all seem the same, except for size and weight. So, I believe that our nerves and ganglia really don’t see any differences in the signals they transmit.

And yet the postman does see some difference: he knows a business letter from a valentine at a glance and practice teaches him to know much else which escapes ourselves.  Who, then, shall say what the nerves and ganglia know and what they do not know?  True, to us, as we think of a piece of brain inside our own heads, it seems as absurd to consider that it knows anything at all as it seems to consider that a hen’s egg knows anything; but then if the brain could see us, perhaps the brain might say it was absurd to suppose that that thing could know this or that.  Besides what is the self of which we say that we are self-conscious?  No one can say what it is that we are conscious of.  This is one of the things which lie altogether outside the sphere of words.

And yet the postman does notice some differences: he can tell a business letter from a card for Valentine’s Day at a glance, and experience teaches him to recognize much more that eludes us. So, who can really say what our nerves and brain cells know or don’t know? To us, as we think about a piece of brain inside our heads, it seems just as ridiculous to suggest that it knows anything at all as it would be to think a hen’s egg knows something. But if the brain could observe us, it might find it absurd to believe that we, or anything about us, could know this or that. Also, what exactly is this self that we claim to be self-aware? No one can really explain what it is that we are aware of. This is one of those things that lies completely beyond the reach of words.

The postman can open a letter if he likes and know all about the message he is conveying, but, if he does this, he is diseased qua postman.  So, maybe, a nerve might open a stimulus or a shock on the way sometimes, but it would not be a good nerve.

The postman can open a letter if he wants and find out everything about the message he's delivering, but if he does this, he is compromised as a postman. Similarly, a nerve might sometimes respond to a stimulus or shock along the way, but that wouldn’t be a healthy nerve.

Night-Shirts and Babies

On Hindhead, last Easter, we saw a family wash hung out to dry.  There were papa’s two great night-shirts and mamma’s two lesser night-gowns and then the children’s smaller articles of clothing and mamma’s drawers and the girls’ drawers, all full swollen with a strong north-east wind.  But mamma’s night-gown was not so well pinned on and, instead of being full of steady wind like the others, kept blowing up and down as though she were preaching wildly.  We stood and laughed for ten minutes.  The housewife came to the window and wondered at us, but we could not resist the pleasure of watching the absurdly life-like gestures which the night-gowns made.  I should like a Santa Famiglia with clothes drying in the background.

On Hindhead, last Easter, we saw a family laundry hanging out to dry. There were dad's two big nightshirts, mom's two smaller nightgowns, and then the children's smaller clothes, along with mom's and the girls' underwear, all puffed up with a strong northeast wind. But mom's nightgown wasn't pinned on so well and kept blowing up and down like she was preaching passionately, unlike the others that stayed steady. We stood there and laughed for ten minutes. The housewife looked out the window, puzzled by us, but we couldn’t help enjoying the ridiculously lifelike movements of the nightgowns. I would love a Santa Famiglia with clothes drying in the background.

A love story might be told in a series of sketches of the clothes of two families hanging out to dry in adjacent gardens.  Then a gentleman’s night-shirt from one garden, and a lady’s night-gown from the other should be shown hanging in a third garden by themselves.  By and by there should be added a little night-shirt.

A love story could be told through a series of sketches of the clothes of two families drying in their backyards. Then, a man’s night-shirt from one yard and a woman’s night-gown from the other could be displayed hanging alone in a third yard. Eventually, a small night-shirt could be added.

A philosopher might be tempted, on seeing the little night-shirt, to suppose that the big night-shirts had made it.  What we do is much the same, for the body of a baby is not much more made by the two old babies, after whose pattern it has cut itself out, than the little night-shirt is made by the big ones.  The thing that makes either the little night-shirt or the little baby is something about which we know nothing whatever at all.

A philosopher might be inclined, upon seeing the small nightshirt, to think that the larger nightshirts created it. What we do is pretty similar, because a baby’s body is not much more shaped by the two older siblings, after whose model it has patterned itself, than the small nightshirt is made by the large ones. The thing that creates either the small nightshirt or the small baby is something we know absolutely nothing about.

Our Organism

Man is a walking tool-box, manufactory, workshop and bazaar worked from behind the scenes by someone or something that we never see.  We are so used to never seeing more than the tools, and these work so smoothly, that we call them the workman himself, making much the same mistake as though we should call the saw the carpenter.  The only workman of whom we know anything at all is the one that runs ourselves and even this is not perceivable by any of our gross palpable senses.

Man is a walking toolbox, factory, workshop, and market, operated from behind the scenes by someone or something we never see. We are so accustomed to only seeing the tools, which work so seamlessly, that we call them the worker himself, making a similar mistake to calling the saw the carpenter. The only worker we know anything about is the one that drives us, and even this isn't detectable by any of our basic physical senses.

The senses seem to be the link between mind and matter—never forgetting that we can never have either mind or matter pure and without alloy of the other.

The senses appear to be the connection between the mind and physical reality—always remembering that we can never have pure mind or pure matter without some mix of the other.

Beer and My Cat

Spilt beer or water seems sometimes almost human in its uncertainty whether or no it is worth while to get ever such a little nearer to the earth’s centre by such and such a slight trickle forward.

Spilled beer or water sometimes feels almost human in its uncertainty about whether it's worth it to get just a little closer to the earth's center with such a small trickle forward.

I saw my cat undecided in his mind whether he should get up on the table and steal the remains of my dinner or not.  The chair was some eighteen inches away with its back towards the table, so it was a little troublesome for him to get his feet first on the bar and then on the table.  He was not at all hungry but he tried, saw it would not be quite easy and gave it up; then he thought better of it and tried again, and saw again that it was not all perfectly plain sailing; and so backwards and forwards with the first-he-would-and-then-he-wouldn’tism of a mind so nearly in equilibrium that a hair’s weight would turn the scale one way or the other.

I saw my cat hesitating over whether he should jump up on the table and grab the leftovers from my dinner. The chair was about eighteen inches away with its back to the table, making it a bit tricky for him to first get his paws on the bar and then onto the table. He wasn’t really hungry, but he tried; then he realized it wouldn’t be that easy and gave up. After a moment, he reconsidered and made another attempt, only to see once more that it wasn’t going to be a simple task. So, he went back and forth with the indecision of a mind so close to a decision that even the slightest nudge could tip the balance either way.

I thought how closely it resembled the action of beer trickling on a slightly sloping table.

I thought about how much it looked like beer dripping off a slightly slanted table.

The Union Bank

There is a settlement in the Union Bank building, Chancery Lane, which has made three large cracks in the main door steps.  I remember these cracks more than twenty years ago, just after the bank was built, as mere thin lines and now they must be some half an inch wide and are still slowly widening.  They have altered very gradually, but not an hour or a minute has passed without a groaning and travailing together on the part of every stone and piece of timber in the building to settle how a modus vivendi should be arrived at.  This is why the crack is said to be caused by a settlement—some parts of the building willing this and some that, and the battle going on, as even the steadiest and most unbroken battles must go, by fits and starts which, though to us appearing as an even tenor, would, if we could see them under a microscope, prove to be a succession of bloody engagements between regiments that sometimes lost and sometimes won.  Sometimes, doubtless, strained relations have got settled by peaceful arbitration and reference to the solicitors of the contending parts without open visible rupture; at other times, again, discontent has gathered on discontent as the snow upon a sub-alpine slope, flake by flake, till the last is one too many and the whole comes crashing down—whereon the cracks have opened some minute fraction of an inch wider.

There’s a settlement in the Union Bank building on Chancery Lane that has caused three large cracks in the main steps. I remember these cracks from over twenty years ago, right after the bank was built, when they were just thin lines; now they’re about half an inch wide and still slowly getting wider. They’ve changed very gradually, but not a single hour or minute has gone by without every stone and piece of timber in the building groaning and straining to figure out how a modus vivendi should be established. This is why the crack is said to be due to a settlement—some parts of the building agreeing and some disagreeing, and the struggle continuing, as even the steadiest and most seemingly unbroken conflicts do, in fits and starts that, while appearing smooth to us, would, if viewed under a microscope, reveal continuous bloody clashes between factions that sometimes lost and sometimes won. Sometimes, undoubtedly, strained relations have been resolved through peaceful negotiation and consulting the lawyers of the opposing parties without any visible fallout; at other times, however, discontent has built up like snow on a sub-alpine slope, accumulating flake by flake, until the last one is just too many, and the whole thing collapses—causing the cracks to open a tiny bit wider.

Of this we see nothing.  All we note is that a score of years have gone by and that the cracks are rather wider.  So, doubtless, if the materials of which the bank is built could speak, they would say they knew nothing of the varied interests that sometimes coalesce and sometimes conflict within the building.  The joys of the rich depositor, the anguish of the bankrupt are nothing to them; the stream of people coming in and going out is as steady, continuous a thing to them as a blowing wind or a running river to ourselves; all they know or care about is that they have a trifle more weight of books and clerks and bullion than they once had, and that this hinders them somewhat in their effort after a permanent settlement.

Of this, we see nothing. All we notice is that a couple of decades have passed and the cracks are a bit wider. So, if the materials that make up the bank could speak, they would say they have no idea about the various interests that sometimes come together and sometimes clash within the building. The happiness of the wealthy depositor and the pain of the bankrupt mean nothing to them; the flow of people coming in and out is as steady and continuous to them as the wind blowing or a river flowing to us; all they know or care about is that they have a little more weight of books, staff, and gold than they used to, and that this slightly hinders their pursuit of a lasting solution.

The Unity of Nature

I meet a melancholy old Savoyard playing on a hurdy-gurdy, grisly, dejected, dirty, with a look upon him as though the iron had long since entered into his soul.  It is a frosty morning but he has very little clothing, and there is a dumb despairing look about him which is surely genuine.  There passes him a young butcher boy with his tray of meat upon his shoulder.  He is ruddy, lusty, full of life and health and spirits, and he vents these in a shrill whistle which eclipses the hurdy-gurdy of the Savoyard.

I encounter a sorrowful old Savoyard playing a hurdy-gurdy, grim, downcast, and dirty, with an expression as if the weight of the world has long settled in his heart. It's a chilly morning, yet he wears very few clothes, and there's a profound look of despair about him that feels authentic. A young butcher boy walks by, carrying a tray of meat on his shoulder. He's bright, energetic, full of life and health, and he conveys his joy through a loud whistle that drowns out the Savoyard's music.

The like holds good with the horses and cats and dogs which I meet daily, with the flies in window panes and with plants, some are successful, other have now passed their prime.  Look at the failures per se and they make one very unhappy, but it helps matters to look at them in their capacities as parts of a whole rather than as isolated.

The same applies to the horses, cats, and dogs I see every day, to the flies on window panes, and to plants; some are thriving, while others have seen better days. If you focus on the failures themselves, they can be pretty disheartening, but it’s more helpful to view them as parts of a whole rather than in isolation.

I cannot see things round about me without feeling that they are all parts of one whole which is trying to do something; it has not perhaps a perfectly clear idea of what it is trying after, but it is doing its best.  I see old age, decay and failure as the relaxation, after effort, of a muscle in the corporation of things, or as a tentative effort in a wrong direction, or as the dropping off of particles of skin from a healthy limb.  This dropping off is the death of any given generation of our cells as they work their way nearer and nearer to our skins and then get rubbed off and go away.  It is as though we sent people to live nearer and nearer the churchyard the older they grew.  As for the skin that is shed, in the first place it has had its turn, in the second it starts anew under fresh auspices, for it can at no time cease to be part of the universe, it must always live in one way or another.

I can’t look around me without feeling that everything is part of a greater whole that’s trying to achieve something; it might not have a perfectly clear idea of what it’s after, but it’s doing its best. I see old age, decay, and failure as the release after a strain on the body of things, or as a misguided attempt, or as the shedding of skin from a healthy limb. This shedding represents the death of each generation of our cells as they work their way towards the surface and then get worn away. It’s as if we send people to live closer and closer to the graveyard as they get older. As for the skin that gets shed, it has already had its time; and it starts over under new circumstances, because it can never stop being part of the universe—it always has to exist in one way or another.

Croesus and His Kitchen-Maid

I want people to see either their cells as less parts of themselves than they do, or their servants as more.

I want people to see their cells as less a part of themselves than they currently do, or see their servants as more.

Croesus’s kitchen-maid is part of him, bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh, for she eats what comes from his table and, being fed of one flesh, are they not brother and sister to one another in virtue of community of nutriment which is but a thinly veiled travesty of descent?  When she eats peas with her knife, he does so too; there is not a bit of bread and butter she puts into her mouth, nor a lump of sugar she drops into her tea, but he knoweth it altogether, though he knows nothing whatever about it.  She is en-Croesused and he enscullery-maided so long as she remains linked to him by the golden chain which passes from his pocket to hers, and which is greatest of all unifiers.

Croesus’s kitchen maid is part of him, connected by blood and shared meals, since she consumes what he provides. Being nourished from the same source, aren't they like siblings due to this shared sustenance, which is really just a twisted version of family ties? When she eats peas with her knife, he does too; every piece of bread and butter she takes, and every lump of sugar she adds to her tea, he knows about it completely, even though he doesn’t truly understand. She is en-Croesused and he is en-scully-maided as long as she’s tied to him by the golden chain that connects his pocket to hers, which serves as the strongest bond of all.

True, neither party is aware of the connection at all as long as things go smoothly.  Croesus no more knows the name of, or feels the existence of, his kitchen-maid than a peasant in health knows about his liver; nevertheless he is awakened to a dim sense of an undefined something when he pays his grocer or his baker.  She is more definitely aware of him than he of her, but it is by way of an overshadowing presence rather than a clear and intelligent comprehension.  And though Croesus does not eat his kitchen-maid’s meals otherwise than vicariously, still to eat vicariously is to eat: the meals so eaten by his kitchen-maid nourish the better ordering of the dinner which nourishes and engenders the better ordering of Croesus himself.  He is fed therefore by the feeding of his kitchen-maid.

Sure, here’s the updated text: True, neither party is aware of their connection at all as long as things are running smoothly. Croesus knows no more about the name of, or feels the presence of, his kitchen-maid than a healthy peasant knows about his liver; however, he becomes dimly aware of an undefined something when he pays his grocer or his baker. She is more aware of him than he is of her, but it’s more of a vague presence than a clear understanding. And although Croesus doesn't directly eat his kitchen-maid’s meals, to eat through someone else is still to eat: the meals prepared by his kitchen-maid contribute to the better planning of the dinner that ultimately sustains and shapes Croesus himself. Therefore, he is nourished by the feeding of his kitchen-maid.

And so with sleep.  When she goes to bed he, in part, does so too.  When she gets up and lays the fire in the back-kitchen he, in part, does so.  He lays it through her and in her, though knowing no more what he is doing than we know when we digest, but still doing it as by what we call a reflex action.  Qui facit per alium facit per se, and when the back-kitchen fire is lighted on Croesus’s behalf, it is Croesus who lights it, though he is all the time fast asleep in bed.

And so it goes with sleep. When she goes to bed, he somewhat does too. When she gets up and starts the fire in the back kitchen, he somewhat does that too. He does it through her and within her, even though he knows no more about what he's doing than we know when we digest, but he does it as if it's a reflex action. Qui facit per alium facit per se, and when the back kitchen fire is lit for Croesus, it’s Croesus who lights it, even though he’s completely fast asleep in bed.

Sometimes things do not go smoothly.  Suppose the kitchen-maid to be taken with fits just before dinner-time; there will be a reverberating echo of disturbance throughout the whole organisation of the palace.  But the oftener she has fits, the more easily will the household know what it is all about when she is taken with them.  On the first occasion Lady Croesus will send some one rushing down into the kitchen, there will, in fact, be a general flow of blood (i.e. household) to the part affected (that is to say, to the scullery-maid); the doctor will be sent for and all the rest of it.  On each repetition of the fits the neighbouring organs, reverting to a more primary undifferentiated condition, will discharge duties for which they were not engaged, in a manner for which no one would have given them credit, and the disturbance will be less and less each time, till by and by, at the sound of the crockery smashing below, Lady Croesus will just look up to papa and say:

Sometimes things don't go smoothly. Imagine the kitchen maid has a seizure right before dinner; there will be a ripple of chaos throughout the entire palace. But the more often this happens, the easier it becomes for the household to understand what's going on when it occurs. The first time, Lady Croesus will send someone racing down to the kitchen, and there will indeed be a rush of people (the household) to the affected area (the scullery maid); the doctor will be called, and all the usual fuss will follow. With each incident, the neighboring staff, reverting to a more basic, untrained response, will take on responsibilities they normally wouldn't have, showing surprising capability, and the chaos will lessen each time, until eventually, at the sound of dishes crashing below, Lady Croesus will simply look up at her father and say:

“My dear, I am afraid Sarah has got another fit.”

“My dear, I’m afraid Sarah is having another seizure.”

And papa will say she will probably be better again soon, and will go on reading his newspaper.

And Dad will say she'll probably get better soon, and he'll go back to reading his newspaper.

In course of time the whole thing will come to be managed automatically downstairs without any reference either to papa, the cerebrum, or to mamma, the cerebellum, or even to the medulla oblongata, the housekeeper.  A precedent or routine will be established, after which everything will work quite smoothly.

In time, everything will be managed automatically downstairs without needing to consult either dad, the brain, or mom, the lower brain, or even the medulla oblongata, the housekeeper. A routine will be set, after which everything will run quite smoothly.

But though papa and mamma are unconscious of the reflex action which has been going on within their organisation, the kitchen-maid and the cells in her immediate vicinity (that is to say her fellow-servants) will know all about it.  Perhaps the neighbours will think that nobody in the house knows, and that because the master and mistress show no sign of disturbance therefore there is no consciousness.  They forget that the scullery-maid becomes more and more conscious of the fits if they grow upon her, as they probably will, and that Croesus and his lady do show more signs of consciousness, if they are watched closely, than can be detected on first inspection.  There is not the same violent perturbation that there was on the previous occasions, but the tone of the palace is lowered.  A dinner party has to be put off; the cooking is more homogeneous and uncertain, it is less highly differentiated than when the scullery-maid was well; and there is a grumble when the doctor has to be paid and also when the smashed crockery has to be replaced.

But even though Mom and Dad aren’t aware of the reflex action happening within their bodies, the kitchen maid and the people around her (that is, her fellow workers) will definitely notice it. Maybe the neighbors will think that nobody in the house knows, and since the master and mistress don’t show any signs of being upset, they assume there’s no awareness. They overlook the fact that the scullery maid becomes more aware of the fits as they worsen, which they likely will, and that Croesus and his lady do show more signs of awareness, if you pay close attention, than you might notice at first glance. There’s not the same intense disturbance as before, but the overall mood of the palace is definitely off. A dinner party has to be canceled; the cooking is more bland and inconsistent, less refined than when the scullery maid was healthy; and there’s complaining when the doctor has to be paid and also when they need to replace the broken dishes.

If Croesus discharges his kitchen-maid and gets another, it is as though he cut out a small piece of his finger and replaced it in due course by growth.  But even the slightest cut may lead to blood-poisoning, and so even the dismissal of a kitchen-maid may be big with the fate of empires.  Thus the cook, a valued servant, may take the kitchen-maid’s part and go too.  The next cook may spoil the dinner and upset Croesus’s temper, and from this all manner of consequences may be evolved, even to the dethronement and death of the king himself.  Nevertheless as a general rule an injury to such a low part of a great monarch’s organism as a kitchen-maid has no important results.  It is only when we are attacked in such vital organs as the solicitor or the banker that we need be uneasy.  A wound in the solicitor is a very serious thing, and many a man has died from failure of his bank’s action.

If Croesus fires his kitchen maid and hires a new one, it's like cutting a small piece of his finger and later growing it back. But even the smallest cut can lead to serious infections, so dismissing a kitchen maid could have huge consequences. The cook, who is an important employee, might side with the kitchen maid and leave too. The new cook could ruin dinner and irritate Croesus, leading to all sorts of outcomes, potentially even the king's downfall and death. Still, generally speaking, an issue with someone as lowly as a kitchen maid usually doesn’t have major repercussions for a powerful monarch. It’s only when we’re challenged in crucial areas like the lawyer or the banker that we should really be worried. A problem with the lawyer is very serious, and many people have suffered due to their bank's failure.

It is certain, as we have seen, that when the kitchen-maid lights the fire it is really Croesus who is lighting it, but it is less obvious that when Croesus goes to a ball the scullery-maid goes also.  Still this should be held in the same way as it should be also held that she eats vicariously when Croesus dines.  For he must return the balls and the dinner parties and this comes out in his requiring to keep a large establishment whereby the scullery-maid retains her place as part of his organism and is nourished and amused also.

It’s clear, as we’ve seen, that when the kitchen maid lights the fire, it’s really Croesus who’s doing it. However, it’s not as obvious that when Croesus goes to a ball, the scullery maid goes too. Still, this should be understood the same way as it’s understood that she eats vicariously when Croesus dines. He has to return the favors of the balls and dinner parties, which is why he needs to maintain a large household, allowing the scullery maid to keep her position as part of his setup, where she is also fed and entertained.

On the other hand, when Croesus dies it does not follow that the scullery-maid should die at the same time.  She may grow a new Croesus, as Croesus, if the maid dies, will probably grow a new kitchen-maid, Croesus’s son or successor may take over the kingdom and palace, and the kitchen-maid, beyond having to wash up a few extra plates and dishes at Coronation time, will know little about the change.  It is as though the establishment had had its hair cut and its beard trimmed; it is smartened up a little, but there is no other change.  If, on the other hand, he goes bankrupt, or his kingdom is taken from him and his whole establishment is broken up and dissipated at the auction mart, then, even though not one of its component cells actually dies, the organism as a whole does so, and it is interesting to see that the lowest, least specialised and least highly differentiate parts of the organism, such as the scullery-maid and the stable-boys, most readily find an entry into the life of some new system, while the more specialised and highly differentiated parts, such as the steward, the old housekeeper and, still more so, the librarian or the chaplain may never be able to attach themselves to any new combination, and may die in consequence.  I heard once of a large builder who retired unexpectedly from business and broke up his establishment to the actual death of several of his older employés.  So a bit of flesh or even a finger may be taken from one body and grafted on to another, but a leg cannot be grafted; if a leg is cut off it must die.  It may, however, be maintained that the owner dies too, even though he recovers, for a man who has lost a leg is not the man he was. [92]

On the other hand, when Croesus dies, it doesn't mean the scullery-maid has to die at the same time. She might give rise to a new Croesus, just as Croesus, if the maid dies, will probably find a new kitchen-maid. Croesus's son or successor could take over the kingdom and palace, and the kitchen-maid, aside from having to wash a few extra plates and dishes during the Coronation, won't know much about the change. It's like the establishment got a haircut and a beard trim; it looks fresher, but not much else has changed. However, if he goes bankrupt, or if his kingdom is taken from him and everything is sold off at an auction, then, even if none of the individual parts actually die, the entire system does. It's interesting to see that the lowest, least specialized, and least differentiated parts of the system, like the scullery-maid and the stable-boys, usually find it easier to adapt to a new setup, while the more specialized and highly differentiated roles, like the steward, the old housekeeper, and even more so, the librarian or the chaplain, might struggle to attach to any new arrangement and may end up dying as a result. I once heard about a large builder who unexpectedly retired and dissolved his business, leading to the actual death of several of his older employees. So, a piece of flesh or even a finger can be taken from one body and attached to another, but a leg can't be reattached; if a leg is cut off, it has to die. However, it could be argued that the owner also dies, even if he recovers, because a man who has lost a leg is not the same man he was. [92]

p. 93VII
On the Making of Music, Pictures and Books

Thought and Word

i

Thought pure and simple is as near to God as we can get; it is through this that we are linked with God.  The highest thought is ineffable; it must be felt from one person to another but cannot be articulated.  All the most essential and thinking part of thought is done without words or consciousness.  It is not till doubt and consciousness enter that words become possible.

Thought in its purest form is as close to God as we can reach; it's through this that we connect with God. The deepest thoughts are beyond words; they must be experienced between people but can’t be expressed. The most important aspects of thinking happen without language or awareness. It's only when doubt and awareness come in that we can start to use words.

The moment a thing is written, or even can be written, and reasoned about, it has changed its nature by becoming tangible, and hence finite, and hence it will have an end in disintegration.  It has entered into death.  And yet till it can be thought about and realised more or less definitely it has not entered into life.  Both life and death are necessary factors of each other.  But our profoundest and most important convictions are unspeakable.

The moment something is written, or even can be written and thought about, it changes its nature by becoming real, and therefore limited, which means it will eventually break down. It has entered into death. And yet, until it can be thought of and understood more or less clearly, it hasn’t truly come to life. Both life and death are essential parts of each other. However, our deepest and most significant beliefs are beyond words.

So it is with unwritten and indefinable codes of honour, conventions, art-rules—things that can be felt but not explained—these are the most important, and the less we try to understand them, or even to think about them, the better.

So it is with unwritten and undefined codes of honor, conventions, art rules—things that can be felt but not explained—these are the most important, and the less we try to understand them, or even think about them, the better.

ii

Words are organised thoughts, as living forms are organised actions.  How a thought can find embodiment in words is nearly, though perhaps not quite, as mysterious as how an action can find embodiment in form, and appears to involve a somewhat analogous transformation and contradiction in terms.

Words are structured thoughts, just as living beings are structured actions. The way a thought can be expressed in words is almost, though maybe not completely, as puzzling as how an action can take shape in physical form, and seems to involve a similar transformation and contradiction in terms.

There was a time when language was as rare an accomplishment as writing was in the days when it was first invented.  Probably talking was originally confined to a few scholars, as writing was in the middle ages, and gradually became general.  Even now speech is still growing; poor folks cannot understand the talk of educated people.  Perhaps reading and writing will indeed one day come by nature.  Analogy points in this direction, and though analogy is often misleading, it is the least misleading thing we have.

There was a time when language was as rare a skill as writing was when it was first created. Talking probably started out being limited to a few scholars, just like writing was during the Middle Ages, and gradually became more common. Even today, speech is still evolving; people without education often struggle to understand what educated people are saying. Maybe one day, reading and writing will come naturally. Analogy suggests this might happen, and while analogy can be misleading, it’s the least misleading tool we have.

iii

Communications between God and man must always be either above words or below them; for with words come in translations, and all the interminable questions therewith connected.

Communications between God and humans must always be either beyond words or beneath them; because with words come translations, along with all the endless questions that come with them.

iv

The mere fact that a thought or idea can be expressed articulately in words involves that it is still open to question; and the mere fact that a difficulty can be definitely conceived involves that it is open to solution.

The simple fact that a thought or idea can be clearly expressed in words means that it can still be questioned; and the simple fact that a problem can be clearly understood means that it can be solved.

v

We want words to do more than they can.  We try to do with them what comes to very much like trying to mend a watch with a pickaxe or to paint a miniature with a mop; we expect them to help us to grip and dissect that which in ultimate essence is as ungrippable as shadow.  Nevertheless there they are; we have got to live with them, and the wise course is to treat them as we do our neighbours, and make the best and not the worst of them.  But they are parvenu people as compared with thought and action.  What we should read is not the words but the man whom we feel to be behind the words.

We want words to do more than they really can. We attempt to use them in ways that are very much like trying to fix a watch with a sledgehammer or to paint a tiny picture with a mop; we expect them to help us understand and analyze things that are ultimately as elusive as shadows. Still, here they are; we have to live with them, and the smart choice is to treat them like our neighbors, making the best of them rather than the worst. However, they are newcomers in comparison to thought and action. What we should really focus on is not the words themselves but the person we sense is behind them.

vi

Words impede and either kill, or are killed by, perfect thought; but they are, as a scaffolding, useful, if not indispensable, for the building up of imperfect thought and helping to perfect it.

Words can get in the way and either hinder perfect thought or be overshadowed by it; however, they serve as a helpful, if not essential, scaffold for developing imperfect thought and assisting in its improvement.

vii

All words are juggles.  To call a thing a juggle of words is often a bigger juggle than the juggle it is intended to complain of.  The question is whether it is a greater juggle than is generally considered fair trading.

All words are a juggling act. Calling something a juggling act of words is often a bigger trick than the one it’s meant to criticize. The question is whether it’s a bigger trick than what’s usually seen as fair game.

viii

Words are like money; there is nothing so useless, unless when in actual use.

Words are like money; they're pretty useless unless they're actually being used.

ix

Gold and silver coins are only the tokens, symbols, outward and visible signs and sacraments of money.  When not in actual process of being applied in purchase they are no more money than words not in use are language.  Books are like imprisoned souls until some one takes them down from a shelf and reads them.  The coins are potential money as the words are potential language, it is the power and will to apply the counters that make them vibrate with life; when the power and the will are in abeyance the counters lie dead as a log.

Gold and silver coins are just tokens, symbols, outward and visible signs of money. When they're not being used for purchases, they’re no more money than words that aren’t spoken are considered language. Books are like trapped souls until someone takes them off the shelf and reads them. The coins are potential money just like the words are potential language; it’s the power and intention to use these tokens that bring them to life; when that power and intention are put on hold, the tokens lie still as a log.

The Law

The written law is binding, but the unwritten law is much more so.  You may break the written law at a pinch and on the sly if you can, but the unwritten law—which often comprises the written—must not be broken.  Not being written, it is not always easy to know what it is, but this has got to be done.

The written law is mandatory, but the unwritten law is even more so. You might bend the written law in certain situations and quietly if you can, but the unwritten law—which often includes the written—can't be violated. Since it isn't documented, it can be tricky to understand what it entails, but it's essential to figure it out.

Ideas

They are like shadows—substantial enough until we try to grasp them.

They are like shadows—real enough until we try to grab them.

Expression

The fact that every mental state is intensified by expression is of a piece with the fact that nothing has any existence at all save in its expression.

The idea that every mental state becomes stronger through expression is closely related to the fact that nothing truly exists at all except through its expression.

Development

All things are like exposed photographic plates that have no visible image on them till they have been developed.

All things are like exposed film that doesn’t show an image until it’s been developed.

Acquired Characteristics

If there is any truth in the theory that these are inherited—and who can doubt it?—the eye and the finger are but the aspiration, or word, made manifest in flesh.

If there's any truth to the theory that these traits are inherited—and who can really deny it?—the eye and the finger are just the aspiration, or expression, made real in physical form.

Physical and Spiritual

The bodies of many abandoned undertakings lie rotting unburied up and down the country and their ghosts haunt the law-courts.

The remains of countless abandoned projects lie decomposing unburied across the country, and their spirits linger in the courtrooms.

Trail and Writing

Before the invention of writing the range of one man’s influence over another was limited to the range of sight, sound and scent; besides this there was trail, of many kinds.  Trail unintentionally left is, as it were, hidden sight.  Left intentionally, it is the unit of literature.  It is the first mode of writing, from which grew that power of extending men’s influence over one another by the help of written symbols of all kinds without which the development of modern civilisation would have been impossible.

Before writing was invented, a person's influence on another was restricted to what could be seen, heard, or smelled. In addition to this, there were various forms of trails. Unintentional trails left behind are, in a way, invisible. However, intentional trails serve as a form of literature. They represent the earliest method of writing, from which the ability to extend influence among people through written symbols emerged. This development was essential for the progress of modern civilization.

Conveyancing and the Arts

In conveyancing the ultimately potent thing is not the deed but the invisible intention and desire of the parties to the deed; the written document itself is only evidence of this intention and desire.  So it is with music, the written notes are not the main thing, nor is even the heard performance; these are only evidences of an internal invisible emotion that can be felt but never fully expressed.  And so it is with the words of literature and with the forms and colours of painting.

In property transfers, what truly matters isn’t the deed itself, but the unspoken intention and desire of the parties involved; the written document is just proof of this intention and desire. It’s the same with music: the written notes aren’t the main focus, nor is the performance itself; they’re merely evidence of a deep, unseen emotion that can be felt but never completely articulated. This also applies to the words in literature and the shapes and colors in painting.

The Rules for Making Literature, Music and Pictures

The arts of the musician, the painter and the writer are essentially the same.  In composing a fugue, after you have exposed your subject, which must not be too unwieldly, you introduce an episode or episodes which must arise out of your subject.  The great thing is that all shall be new, and yet nothing new, at the same time; the details must minister to the main effect and not obscure it; in other words, you must have a subject, develop it and not wander from it very far.  This holds just as true for literature and painting and for art of all kinds.

The skills of musicians, painters, and writers are essentially the same. When creating a fugue, once you've introduced your main theme, which shouldn't be too complicated, you bring in an episode or episodes that stem from that theme. The key is that everything should feel fresh, yet familiar at the same time; the details should enhance the main effect instead of distracting from it. In other words, you need to have a theme, develop it, and not stray too far from it. This principle is just as applicable to literature, painting, and all forms of art.

No man should try even to allude to the greater part of what he sees in his subject, and there is hardly a limit to what he may omit.  What is required is that he shall say what he elects to say discreetly; that he shall be quick to see the gist of a matter, and give it pithily without either prolixity or stint of words.

No one should even attempt to mention most of what they observe in their topic, and there's almost no limit to what they can leave out. What’s needed is for them to share what they choose to share carefully; they should be quick to grasp the essence of the issue and express it concisely without being wordy or holding back.

Relative Importances

It is the painter’s business to help memory and imagination, not to supersede them.  He cannot put the whole before the spectator, nothing can do this short of the thing itself; he should, therefore, not try to realise, and the less he looks as if he were trying to do so the more signs of judgment he will show.  His business is to supply those details which will most readily bring the whole before the mind along with them.  He must not give too few, but it is still more imperative on him not to give too many.

It’s the painter’s job to assist memory and imagination, not to replace them. He can’t present the entire scene to the viewer; nothing can do that except for the actual thing itself. Therefore, he shouldn’t try to replicate it, and the less he appears to be trying, the better his judgment will come across. His role is to provide the details that will most effectively evoke the whole in the viewer’s mind. He shouldn’t provide too few details, but it’s even more important that he doesn’t overwhelm with too many.

Seeing, thought and expression are rendered possible only by the fact that our minds are always ready to compromise and to take the part for the whole.  We associate a number of ideas with any given object, and if a few of the most characteristic of these are put before us we take the rest as read, jump to a conclusion and realise the whole.  If we did not conduct our thought on this principle—simplifying by suppression of detail and breadth of treatment—it would take us a twelvemonth to say that it was a fine morning and another for the hearer to apprehend our statement.  Any other principle reduces thought to an absurdity.

Seeing, thinking, and expressing are only possible because our minds are always ready to simplify and see part of something as the whole. We associate many ideas with any given object, and if we’re presented with a few of the most defining ones, we fill in the gaps, jump to conclusions, and grasp the entire concept. If we didn’t follow this approach—streamlining by leaving out details and focusing broadly—it would take us a year to say that it was a beautiful morning, and another year for the listener to understand what we meant. Any other approach makes thought ridiculous.

All painting depends upon simplification.  All simplification depends upon a perception of relative importances.  All perception of relative importances depends upon a just appreciation of which letters in association’s bond association will most readily dispense with.  This depends upon the sympathy of the painter both with his subject and with him who is to look at the picture.  And this depends upon a man’s common sense.

All painting relies on simplification. All simplification relies on recognizing what’s most important. All recognition of what’s important relies on a good understanding of which elements in a composition can be easily removed. This relies on the artist’s empathy both with their subject and with the viewer. And this depends on a person’s common sense.

He therefore tells best in painting, as in literature, who has best estimated the relative values or importances of the more special features characterising his subject: that is to say, who appreciates most accurately how much and how fast each one of them will carry, and is at most pains to give those only that will say most in the fewest words or touches.  It is here that the most difficult, the most important, and the most generally neglected part of an artist’s business will be found to lie.

He tells the story best in painting, just like in writing, who has accurately assessed the relative values or significance of the specific features defining his subject. In other words, it’s about understanding precisely how much and how quickly each element can convey meaning, and focusing on those that can express the most with the fewest words or brush strokes. This is where the most challenging, crucial, and often overlooked aspect of an artist’s work can be found.

The difficulties of doing are serious enough, nevertheless we can most of us overcome them with ordinary perseverance for they are small as compared with those of knowing what not to do—with those of learning to disregard the incessant importunity of small nobody-details that persist in trying to thrust themselves above their betters.  It is less trouble to give in to these than to snub them duly and keep them in their proper places, yet it is precisely here that strength or weakness resides.  It is success or failure in this respect that constitutes the difference between the artist who may claim to rank as a statesman and one who can rise no higher than a village vestryman.

The challenges of taking action are significant, but most of us can overcome them with regular persistence because they are minor compared to the challenges of knowing what not to do—specifically, learning to ignore the constant annoyance of trivial details that keep trying to take priority over more important matters. It's easier to give in to these distractions than to push them aside and keep them in their rightful place, yet this is exactly where true strength or weakness lies. Success or failure in this regard is what differentiates an artist who can be seen as a statesman from one who can only rise to the level of a village council member.

It is here, moreover, that effort is most remunerative.  For when we feel that a painter has made simplicity and subordination of importances his first aim, it is surprising how much shortcoming we will condone as regards actual execution.  Whereas, let the execution be perfect, if the details given be ill-chosen in respect of relative importance the whole effect is lost—it becomes top-heavy, as it were, and collapses.  As for the number of details given, this does not matter: a man may give as few or as many as he chooses; he may stop at outline, or he may go on to Jean Van Eyck; what is essential is that, no matter how far or how small a distance he may go, he should have begun with the most important point and added each subsequent feature in due order of importance, so that if he stopped at any moment there should be no detail ungiven more important than another which has been insisted on.

It’s here that effort pays off the most. When we see a painter prioritize simplicity and the right hierarchy of importance, we surprisingly overlook many flaws in the actual execution. On the other hand, if the execution is flawless but the chosen details lack proper significance, the overall effect is ruined—it becomes unbalanced and falls apart. The number of details doesn’t really matter; an artist can choose to include as few or as many as they like. They can stop at just an outline or continue all the way to Jean Van Eyck. What matters is that, regardless of how much or how little they include, they should start with the most important aspect and build up each subsequent detail in the correct order of significance, so that if they stop at any point, there shouldn’t be any detail left out that is more important than another that has been emphasized.

Supposing, by way of illustration, that the details are as grapes in a bunch, they should be eaten from the best grape to the next best, and so on downwards, never eating a worse grape while a better one remains uneaten.

Suppose, for example, that the details are like grapes in a bunch; they should be consumed starting with the best grape, then the next best, and so on down the line, never eating a worse grape while a better one is still uneaten.

Personally, I think that, as the painter cannot go the whole way, the sooner he makes it clear that he has no intention of trying to do so the better.  When we look at a very highly finished picture (so called), unless we are in the hands of one who has attended successfully to the considerations insisted on above, we feel as though we were with a troublesome cicerone who will not let us look at things with our own eyes but keeps intruding himself at every touch and turn and trying to exercise that undue influence upon us which generally proves to have been the accompaniment of concealment and fraud.  This is exactly what we feel with Van Mieris and, though in a less degree, with Gerard Dow; whereas with Jean Van Eyck and Metsu, no matter how far they may have gone, we find them essentially as impressionist as Rembrandt or Velasquez.

Personally, I think that, just like a painter can't achieve perfection, the sooner they make it clear that they don't intend to try, the better. When we look at a very polished painting (so-called), unless we're dealing with someone who has effectively considered the points mentioned above, it feels like we’re with a bothersome tour guide who won't let us see things for ourselves but keeps inserting their opinions at every moment, trying to push their influence on us, which usually goes hand in hand with hiding something or deceit. This is exactly how we feel with Van Mieris and, to a lesser extent, with Gerard Dow; whereas with Jean Van Eyck and Metsu, no matter how far they’ve taken it, we find them just as impressionistic as Rembrandt or Velasquez.

For impressionism only means that due attention has been paid to the relative importances of the impressions made by the various characteristics of a given subject, and that they have been presented to us in order of precedence.

For impressionism just means that careful attention has been given to the relative importance of the impressions created by the different characteristics of a particular subject, and that these have been presented to us in order of significance.

Eating Grapes Downwards

Always eat grapes downwards—that is, always eat the best grape first; in this way there will be none better left on the bunch, and each grape will seem good down to the last.  If you eat the other way, you will not have a good grape in the lot.  Besides, you will be tempting Providence to kill you before you come to the best.  This is why autumn seems better than spring: in the autumn we are eating our days downwards, in the spring each day still seems “Very bad.”  People should live on this principle more than they do, but they do live on it a good deal; from the age of, say, fifty we eat our days downwards.

Always eat grapes from the top down—that is, always start with the best grape first; this way, there won't be any better ones left on the bunch, and each grape will taste good until the last one. If you eat them the other way, you won’t get a good grape at all. Plus, you'll be tempting fate to take you out before you've enjoyed the best one. This is why autumn feels better than spring: in autumn, we’re savoring our days from the top down, while in spring, each day still feels “really bad.” People should stick to this principle more often, but they do follow it to some extent; starting around the age of fifty, we tend to eat our days from the top down.

In New Zealand for a long time I had to do the washing-up after each meal.  I used to do the knives first, for it might please God to take me before I came to the forks, and then what a sell it would have been to have done the forks rather than the knives!

In New Zealand, I spent a lot of time washing dishes after each meal. I usually started with the knives because I thought it would be better to finish them first, just in case something happened and I didn't get to the forks. It would have been a real hassle to have done the forks instead of the knives!

Terseness

Talking with Gogin last night, I said that in writing it took more time and trouble to get a thing short than long.  He said it was the same in painting.  It was harder not to paint a detail than to paint it, easier to put in all that one can see than to judge what may go without saying, omit it and range the irreducible minima in due order of precedence.  Hence we all lean towards prolixity.

Talking with Gogin last night, I mentioned that in writing, it takes more time and effort to say something concisely than to make it lengthy. He agreed, saying it was the same in painting. It’s harder not to include a detail than to just paint it; it's easier to put in everything one can see than to decide what can be left out, omit it, and arrange the essential elements in the right order of importance. Because of this, we all tend to be wordy.

The difficulty lies in the nice appreciation of relative importances and in the giving each detail neither more nor less than its due.  This is the difference between Gerard Dow and Metsu.  Gerard Dow gives all he can, but unreflectingly; hence it does not reflect the subject effectively into the spectator.  We see it, but it does not come home to us.  Metsu on the other hand omits all he can, but omits intelligently, and his reflection excites responsive enthusiasm in ourselves.  We are continually trying to see as much as we can, and to put it down.  More wisely we should consider how much we can avoid seeing and dispense with.

The challenge is in accurately recognizing what matters most and giving each detail exactly what it deserves. This is the difference between Gerard Dow and Metsu. Gerard Dow gives everything he can, but without thinking; as a result, it doesn’t resonate with the viewer. We observe it, but it doesn’t connect with us. Metsu, on the other hand, knows what to leave out, and his work sparks enthusiasm in us. We often try to take in as much as possible and capture it all. A smarter approach would be to think about what we can choose not to see and what we can leave out.

So it is also in music.  Cherubini says the number of things that can be done in fugue with a very simple subject is endless, but that the trouble lies in knowing which to choose from all these infinite possibilities.

So it is with music as well. Cherubini says that the number of things that can be done in a fugue with a very simple theme is endless, but the challenge is knowing which one to choose from all these infinite possibilities.

As regards painting, any one can paint anything in the minute manner with a little practice, but it takes an exceedingly able man to paint so much as an egg broadly and simply.  Bearing in mind the shortness of life and the complexity of affairs, it stands to reason that we owe most to him who packs our trunks for us, so to speak, most intelligently, neither omitting what we are likely to want, nor including what we can dispense with, and who, at the same time, arranges things so that they will travel most safely and be got at most conveniently.  So we speak of composition and arrangement in all arts.

When it comes to painting, anyone can reproduce details with some practice, but it takes a truly skilled person to paint even something as simple as an egg in a broad and straightforward way. Considering the brevity of life and the complexity of our lives, it's clear that we owe the most to someone who can pack our bags intelligently, so to speak—someone who includes what we might need while leaving out what we can do without, and who also organizes everything so that it travels safely and is easy to access. This is why we talk about composition and arrangement in all forms of art.

Making Notes

My notes always grow longer if I shorten them.  I mean the process of compression makes them more pregnant and they breed new notes.  I never try to lengthen them, so I do not know whether they would grow shorter if I did.  Perhaps that might be a good way of getting them shorter.

My notes always get longer when I try to shorten them. I mean, the process of condensing them makes them richer and generates new notes. I never attempt to lengthen them, so I have no idea if they would actually get shorter if I did. Maybe that could be a good way to make them shorter.

Shortening

A young author is tempted to leave anything he has written through fear of not having enough to say if he goes cutting out too freely.  But it is easier to be long than short.  I have always found compressing, cutting out, and tersifying a passage suggests more than anything else does.  Things pruned off in this way are like the heads of the hydra, two grow for every two that is lopped off.

A young writer is tempted to discard anything he has written because he fears he won't have enough to say if he edits too much. But it's easier to write a lot than to be concise. I've always found that condensing, cutting out, and tightening a piece often conveys more than anything else can. The parts that get cut are like the heads of a hydra; for every one you cut off, two more grow back.

Omission

If a writer will go on the principle of stopping everywhere and anywhere to put down his notes, as the true painter will stop anywhere and everywhere to sketch, he will be able to cut down his works liberally.  He will become prodigal not of writing—any fool can be this—but of omission.  You become brief because you have more things to say than time to say them in.  One of the chief arts is that of knowing what to neglect and the more talk increases the more necessary does this art become.

If a writer follows the principle of stopping anywhere and everywhere to jot down notes, just like a true painter will pause anywhere to sketch, they will be able to edit their work freely. They will be generous not with writing—anyone can do that—but with what they leave out. You become concise because you have more to say than you have time for. One of the key skills is knowing what to ignore, and as conversation increases, this skill becomes even more essential.

Brevity

Handel’s jig in the ninth Suite de Pieces, in G minor, is very fine but it is perhaps a little long.  Probably Handel was in a hurry, for it takes much more time to get a thing short than to leave it a little long.  Brevity is not only the soul of wit, but the soul of making oneself agreeable and of getting on with people, and, indeed, of everything that makes life worth living.  So precious a thing, however, cannot be got without more expense and trouble than most of us have the moral wealth to lay out.

Handel’s jig in the ninth Suite de Pieces, in G minor, is really great but it might be a bit long. Handel was probably in a rush because it takes much more time to make something shorter than to leave it a bit long. Brevity isn’t just the essence of wit; it's also the key to being pleasant with others and getting along, and, ultimately, to everything that makes life enjoyable. However, such a valuable thing often requires more effort and resources than most of us are willing to invest.

Diffuseness

This sometimes helps, as, for instance, when the subject is hard; words that may be, strictly speaking, unnecessary still may make things easier for the reader by giving him more time to master the thought while his eye is running over the verbiage.  So, a little water may prevent a strong drink from burning throat and stomach.  A style that is too terse is as fatiguing as one that is too diffuse.  But when a passage is written a little long, with consciousness and compunction but still deliberately, as what will probably be most easy for the reader, it can hardly be called diffuse.

This can be helpful, especially when the topic is challenging; words that might technically be unnecessary can still make it easier for the reader by giving them more time to understand the idea while they’re scanning the text. So, a little dilution can stop a strong drink from burning the throat and stomach. A writing style that’s too brief is just as tiring as one that’s too wordy. However, when a section is written a bit longer, with awareness and care but still purposefully, as what will probably be easiest for the reader, it can hardly be seen as overly wordy.

Difficulties in Art, Literature and Music

The difficult and the unintelligible are only conceivable at all in virtue of their catching on to something less difficult and less unintelligible and, through this, to things easily done and understood.  It is at these joints in their armour that difficulties should be attacked.

The hard stuff and the confusing only make sense because they connect to something simpler and clearer, and through that, to things that are easy to do and understand. It’s at these weak points that we should tackle the problems.

Never tackle a serious difficulty as long as something which must be done, and about which you see your way fairly well, remains undone; the settling of this is sure to throw light upon the way in which the serious difficulty is to be resolved.  It is doing the What-you-can that will best help you to do the What-you-cannot.

Never take on a serious challenge while there's something that needs to be done and you have a clear idea of how to handle it. Taking care of that will definitely help clarify how to address the serious issue. Doing what you can will best prepare you to tackle what you can't.

Arrears of small things to be attended to, if allowed to accumulate, worry and depress like unpaid debts.  The main work should always stand aside for these, not these for the main work, as large debts should stand aside for small ones, or truth for common charity and good feeling.  If we attend continually and promptly to the little that we can do, we shall ere long be surprised to find how little remains that we cannot do.

Arrears of small tasks, if allowed to build up, can stress and weigh us down like unpaid debts. The main work should always take a backseat to these, not the other way around, just as large debts should wait for smaller ones, or honesty for kindness and goodwill. If we consistently and quickly handle the small things we can do, we’ll soon be amazed at how little is left that we can't tackle.

Knowledge is Power

Yes, but it must be practical knowledge.  There is nothing less powerful than knowledge unattached, and incapable of application.  That is why what little knowledge I have has done myself personally so much harm.  I do not know much, but if I knew a good deal less than that little I should be far more powerful.  The rule should be never to learn a thing till one is pretty sure one wants it, or that one will want it before long so badly as not to be able to get on without it.  This is what sensible people do about money, and there is no reason why people should throw away their time and trouble more than their money.  There are plenty of things that most boys would give their ears to know, these and these only are the proper things for them to sharpen their wits upon.

Yes, but it has to be practical knowledge. There’s nothing less powerful than knowledge that’s irrelevant and can’t be applied. That’s why the little knowledge I have has caused me so much personal harm. I don’t know much, but if I knew a lot less than that little, I’d be much more effective. The rule should be to only learn something when you’re pretty sure you want it or that you’ll soon want it so much that you can't get by without it. This is what sensible people do with money, and there’s no reason for people to waste their time and effort any more than their money. There are plenty of things that most boys would love to know; these are the only things they should focus their attention on.

If a boy is idle and does not want to learn anything at all, the same principle should guide those who have the care of him—he should never be made to learn anything till it is pretty obvious that he cannot get on without it.  This will save trouble both to boys and teachers, moreover it will be far more likely to increase a boy’s desire to learn.  I know in my own case no earthly power could make me learn till I had my head given me; and nothing has been able to stop me from incessant study from that day to this.

If a boy is lazy and doesn’t want to learn anything at all, the same principle should apply to those who take care of him—he shouldn't be forced to learn anything until it’s clear that he can’t get by without it. This approach will make things easier for both boys and teachers and is much more likely to boost a boy’s interest in learning. I know from my own experience that no amount of pressure could make me learn until I was ready; and nothing has been able to stop me from constant studying since that time.

Academicism

Handicapped people sometimes owe their success to the misfortune which weights them.  They seldom know beforehand how far they are going to reach, and this helps them; for if they knew the greatness of the task before them they would not attempt it.  He who knows he is infirm, and would yet climb, does not think of the summit which he believes to be beyond his reach but climbs slowly onwards, taking very short steps, looking below as often as he likes but not above him, never trying his powers but seldom stopping, and then, sometimes, behold! he is on the top, which he would never have even aimed at could he have seen it from below.  It is only in novels and sensational biographies that handicapped people, “fired by a knowledge of the difficulties that others have overcome, resolve to triumph over every obstacle by dint of sheer determination, and in the end carry everything before them.”  In real life the person who starts thus almost invariably fails.  This is the worst kind of start.

People with disabilities sometimes owe their success to the challenges they face. They rarely know how far they will go, and this actually helps them; if they understood the magnitude of the task ahead, they might not even try. Someone who recognizes their limitations but still wants to climb doesn’t focus on the summit they think is out of reach. Instead, they progress slowly, taking small steps, looking down as often as they want but not up, rarely testing their abilities, and seldom stopping. Then, sometimes, surprise! They find themselves at the top, a goal they wouldn’t have aimed for if they could have seen it from below. In novels and dramatic biographies, people with disabilities are often portrayed as being inspired by the challenges others have overcome, resolving to conquer every obstacle through sheer determination, ultimately achieving everything. In reality, someone who starts this way almost always fails. It’s the worst kind of beginning.

The greatest secret of good work whether in music, literature or painting lies in not attempting too much; if it be asked, “What is too much?” the answer is, “Anything that we find difficult or unpleasant.”  We should not ask whether others find this same thing difficult or no.  If we find the difficulty so great that the overcoming it is a labour and not a pleasure, we should either change our aim altogether, or aim, at any rate for a time, at some lower point.  It must be remembered that no work is required to be more than right as far as it goes; the greatest work cannot get beyond this and the least comes strangely near the greatest if this can be said of it.

The biggest secret to doing good work, whether in music, writing, or painting, is not trying to do too much. If someone asks, "What does too much mean?" the answer is, "Anything we find hard or unpleasant." We shouldn’t worry about whether others find the same thing difficult. If the challenge feels so overwhelming that overcoming it becomes a struggle rather than enjoyable, we should either change our goal completely or, at least for a while, aim for something more manageable. It's important to remember that no work needs to be more than just right for its purpose; the best work can't exceed this, and even the simplest work can surprisingly come close to the greatest if that's the case.

The more I see of academicism the more I distrust it.  If I had approached painting as I have approached bookwriting and music, that is to say by beginning at once to do what I wanted, or as near as I could to what I could find out of this, and taking pains not by way of solving academic difficulties, in order to provide against practical ones, but by waiting till a difficulty arose in practice and then tackling it, thus making the arising of each difficulty be the occasion for learning what had to be learnt about it—if I had approached painting in this way I should have been all right.  As it is I have been all wrong, and it was South Kensington and Heatherley’s that set me wrong.  I listened to the nonsense about how I ought to study before beginning to paint, and about never painting without nature, and the result was that I learned to study but not to paint.  Now I have got too much to do and am too old to do what I might easily have done, and should have done, if I had found out earlier what writing Life and Habit was the chief thing to teach me.

The more I see of academia, the more I distrust it. If I had approached painting like I did with writing books and music—by jumping right in and doing what I wanted, or as close as I could get to that, and focusing on tackling practical problems as they came up instead of trying to solve academic ones, I would have learned what I needed as each issue arose—if I had taken that approach to painting, I would have been fine. Instead, I’ve gotten everything wrong, and it was South Kensington and Heatherley’s that led me astray. I listened to the nonsense about how I needed to study before I started painting and about never painting without nature, and the result was that I learned how to study but not how to paint. Now I have too much on my plate and I'm too old to do what I could have easily done and should have done if I had figured out sooner what writing Life and Habit was meant to teach me.

So I painted study after study, as a priest reads his breviary, and at the end of ten years knew no more what the face of nature was like, unless I had it immediately before me, than I did at the beginning.  I am free to confess that in respect of painting I am a failure.  I have spent far more time on painting than I have on anything else, and have failed at it more than I have failed in any other respect almost solely for the reasons given above.  I tried very hard, but I tried the wrong way.

So I created study after study, like a priest reads his prayer book, and after ten years, I knew no more about what nature looked like, unless it was right in front of me, than I did at the start. I admit that when it comes to painting, I’m a failure. I’ve dedicated way more time to painting than anything else, and I’ve failed at it more than in any other area, mostly for the reasons I mentioned earlier. I worked really hard, but I went about it the wrong way.

Fortunately for me there are no academies for teaching people how to write books, or I should have fallen into them as I did into those for painting and, instead of writing, should have spent my time and money in being told that I was learning how to write.  If I had one thing to say to students before I died (I mean, if I had got to die, but might tell students one thing first) I should say:—

Fortunately for me, there are no schools for teaching people how to write books, or I would have ended up in them just like I did with those for painting, and instead of writing, I would have spent my time and money being told that I was learning how to write. If I had one thing to say to students before I died (I mean, if I had to die, but could tell students one thing first), I would say:—

“Don’t learn to do, but learn in doing.  Let your falls not be on a prepared ground, but let them be bona fide falls in the rough and tumble of the world; only, of course, let them be on a small scale in the first instance till you feel your feet safe under you.  Act more and rehearse less.”

“Don’t just learn to do things, but learn by doing them. Let your mistakes be real ones, not on a prepared surface, but in the chaos of real life; just make sure they’re small ones at first until you feel confident. Take action more and practice less.”

A friend once asked me whether I liked writing books, composing music or painting pictures best.  I said I did not know.  I like them all; but I never find time to paint a picture now and only do small sketches and studies.  I know in which I am strongest—writing; I know in which I am weakest—painting; I am weakest where I have taken most pains and studied most.

A friend once asked me if I liked writing books, composing music, or painting pictures the most. I told them I didn’t know. I enjoy all of them, but I never seem to have time to paint anything substantial anymore and only do small sketches and studies. I know where I'm strongest—writing; I know where I'm weakest—painting; and I struggle the most in painting, even though it’s where I’ve put in the most effort and study.

Agonising

In art, never try to find out anything, or try to learn anything until the not knowing it has come to be a nuisance to you for some time.  Then you will remember it, but not otherwise.  Let knowledge importune you before you will hear it.  Our schools and universities go on the precisely opposite system.

In art, don’t try to figure anything out or learn anything until not knowing it becomes a hassle for a while. Then you’ll remember it, but not before that. Let knowledge push you to pay attention before you actually listen. Our schools and universities operate on exactly the opposite approach.

Never consciously agonise; the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong.  Moments of extreme issue are unconscious and must be left to take care of themselves.  During conscious moments take reasonable pains but no more and, above all, work so slowly as never to get out of breath.  Take it easy, in fact, until forced not to do so.

Never stress yourself out intentionally; success doesn’t always go to the fastest, nor does victory always go to the strongest. Moments of great importance happen without conscious thought and should be allowed to unfold on their own. During your awake moments, put in some effort but don’t overdo it, and most importantly, work at a pace that keeps you from getting breathless. Take it easy, really, until you have to do otherwise.

There is no mystery about art.  Do the things that you can see; they will show you those that you cannot see.  By doing what you can you will gradually get to know what it is that you want to do and cannot do, and so to be able to do it.

There’s no mystery to art. Do the things you can see; they’ll reveal the things you can’t see. By doing what you can, you’ll gradually discover what you want to do but can’t yet, and eventually, you’ll be able to do it.

The Choice of Subjects

Do not hunt for subjects, let them choose you, not you them.  Only do that which insists upon being done and runs right up against you, hitting you in the eye until you do it.  This calls you and you had better attend to it, and do it as well as you can.  But till called in this way do nothing.

Do not seek out subjects; let them come to you instead. Only engage in what demands your attention and confronts you, making its presence known until you act on it. This is what calls you, and you should pay attention to it and do it to the best of your ability. But until you receive this call, do nothing.

Imaginary Countries

Each man’s mind is an unknown land to himself, so that we need not be at such pains to frame a mechanism of adventure for getting to undiscovered countries.  We have not far to go before we reach them.  They are, like the Kingdom of Heaven, within us.

Each person's mind is a mystery to themselves, so we don't have to work so hard to create a plan for exploring new territories. We don’t have to travel far to find them. They are, much like the Kingdom of Heaven, already inside us.

My Books

I never make them: they grow; they come to me and insist on being written, and on being such and such.  I did not want to write Erewhon, I wanted to go on painting and found it an abominable nuisance being dragged willy-nilly into writing it.  So with all my books—the subjects were never of my own choosing; they pressed themselves upon me with more force than I could resist.  If I had not liked the subjects I should have kicked, and nothing would have got me to do them at all.  As I did like the subjects and the books came and said they were to be written, I grumbled a little and wrote them. [106]

I never choose them: they just come to me and demand to be written down, insisting on being this way or that. I didn't want to write Erewhon; I wanted to continue painting, and I found it incredibly annoying to be dragged into writing it. The same goes for all my books—I've never picked the subjects myself; they came to me with more urgency than I could ignore. If I hadn't liked the subjects, I would have resisted, and nothing would have gotten me to write them at all. Since I did like the subjects and the books insisted they needed to be written, I complained a bit and wrote them anyway. [106]

Great Works

These have always something of the “de profundis” about them.

These have always had something of the "from the depths" about them.

New Ideas

Every new idea has something of the pain and peril of childbirth about it; ideas are just as mortal and just as immortal as organised beings are.

Every new idea has the same pain and risk as childbirth; ideas can be just as fleeting and just as timeless as living beings.

Books and Children

If the literary offspring is not to die young, almost as much trouble must be taken with it as with the bringing up of a physical child.  Still, the physical child is the harder work of the two.

If a literary creation isn't going to fade away early, it requires just about as much effort as raising a real child. However, raising a real child is the more challenging of the two.

The Life of Books

Some writers think about the life of books as some savages think about the life of men—that there are books which never die.  They all die sooner or later; but that will not hinder an author from trying to give his book as long a life as he can get for it.  The fact that it will have to die is no valid reason for letting it die sooner than can be helped.

Some writers view the life of books like some wild people view the life of humans—believing there are books that never fade away. They all eventually pass on; however, that won’t stop an author from trying to extend their book's life as much as possible. Just because it will have to end someday doesn’t mean there’s a good reason to let it end sooner than it has to.

Criticism

Critics generally come to be critics by reason not of their fitness for this but of their unfitness for anything else.  Books should be tried by a judge and jury as though they were crimes, and counsel should be heard on both sides.

Critics usually become critics not because they are suited for it, but because they aren't suited for anything else. Books should be assessed by a judge and jury as if they were crimes, and both sides should have the chance to present their arguments.

Le Style c’est l’Homme

It is with books, music, painting and all the arts as with children—only those live that have drained much of their author’s own life into them.  The personality of the author is what interests us more than his work.  When we have once got well hold of the personality of the author we care comparatively little about the history of the work or what it means or even its technique; we enjoy the work without thinking of more than its beauty, and of how much we like the workman.  “Le style c’est l’homme”—that style of which, if I may quote from memory, Buffon, again, says that it is like happiness, and “vient de la douceur de l’âme” [107]—and we care more about knowing what kind of person a man was than about knowing of his achievements, no matter how considerable they may have been.  If he has made it clear that he was trying to do what we like, and meant what we should like him to have meant, it is enough; but if the work does not attract us to the workman, neither does it attract us to itself.

It’s the same with books, music, painting, and all the arts as it is with children—only those really come to life that have absorbed a lot of their creator’s own spirit. We’re more interested in the author’s personality than in their actual work. Once we truly connect with the author’s personality, we care much less about the history of the work or its meaning or even its technique; we simply enjoy it for its beauty and how much we like the creator. “Le style c’est l’homme”—that style which, if I may quote from memory, Buffon again says is like happiness and “comes from the sweetness of the soul” [107]—and we’re more interested in understanding what kind of person someone was than in their accomplishments, no matter how impressive they may be. If he makes it clear that he was trying to create what we appreciate, and intended for us to feel that way, it’s enough; but if the work doesn’t draw us to the creator, it doesn’t captivate us either.

Portraits

A great portrait is always more a portrait of the painter than of the painted.  When we look at a portrait by Holbein or Rembrandt it is of Holbein or Rembrandt that we think more than of the subject of their picture.  Even a portrait of Shakespeare by Holbein or Rembrandt could tell us very little about Shakespeare.  It would, however, tell us a great deal about Holbein or Rembrandt.

A great portrait is always more about the artist than the subject. When we look at a portrait by Holbein or Rembrandt, we think more about Holbein or Rembrandt than the person they're painting. Even a portrait of Shakespeare by Holbein or Rembrandt would reveal very little about Shakespeare. However, it would say a lot about Holbein or Rembrandt.

A Man’s Style

A man’s style in any art should be like his dress—it should attract as little attention as possible.

A man's style in any art should be like his clothing—it should draw as little attention as possible.

The Gauntlet of Youth

Everything that is to age well must have run the gauntlet of its youth.  Hardly ever does a work of art hold its own against time if it was not treated somewhat savagely at first—I should say “artist” rather than “work of art.”

Everything that’s going to stand the test of time has to survive its youth. Rarely does an artist’s work endure if it wasn’t challenged or pushed hard at the beginning—I mean “artist” rather than “work of art.”

Greatness in Art

If a work of art—music, literature or painting—is for all time, it must be independent of the conventions, dialects, costumes and fashions of any time; if not great without help from such unessential accessories, no help from them can greaten it.  A man must wear the dress of his own time, but no dressing can make a strong man of a weak one.

If a piece of art—music, literature, or painting—is truly timeless, it should stand on its own without relying on the trends, language, styles, or fashions of any particular era; if it's not great on its own, it can't be made great by these unnecessary extras. A person should wear the fashion of their time, but no outfit can turn a weak person into a strong one.

Literary Power

They say the test of this is whether a man can write an inscription.  I say “Can he name a kitten?”  And by this test I am condemned, for I cannot.

They say the real test is whether a guy can write an inscription. I say, “Can he come up with a name for a kitten?” And by that standard, I fail, because I can’t.

Subject and Treatment

It is often said that treatment is more important than subject, but no treatment can make a repulsive subject not repulsive.  It can make a trivial, or even a stupid, subject interesting, but a really bad flaw in a subject cannot be treated out.  Happily the man who has sense enough to treat a subject well will generally have sense enough to choose a good one, so that the case of a really repulsive subject treated in a masterly manner does not often arise.  It is often said to have arisen, but in nine cases out of ten the treatment will be found to have been overpraised.

It’s often said that treatment is more important than the subject, but no treatment can make a repulsive subject any less repulsive. It can make a trivial or even a stupid subject interesting, but a real flaw in a subject can't be fixed. Fortunately, a person who knows how to treat a subject well typically has enough sense to choose a good one, so the situation of a truly repulsive subject handled expertly doesn't come up very often. People often claim it's happened, but in nine out of ten cases, the treatment tends to be overrated.

Public Opinion

People say how strong it is; and indeed it is strong while it is in its prime.  In its childhood and old age it is as weak as any other organism.  I try to make my own work belong to the youth of a public opinion.  The history of the world is the record of the weakness, frailty and death of public opinion, as geology is the record of the decay of those bodily organisms in which opinions have found material expression.

People say how strong it is, and it really is strong when it's at its peak. In its early and later stages, it's just as weak as any other living thing. I try to make my work resonate with the youthful perspective of public opinion. The history of the world is a record of the weaknesses, fragility, and death of public opinion, just like geology records the decay of the physical bodies that express those opinions.

A Literary Man’s Test

Molière’s reading to his housemaid has, I think, been misunderstood as though he in some way wanted to see the effect upon the housemaid and make her a judge of his work.  If she was an unusually clever, smart girl, this might be well enough, but the supposition commonly is that she was a typical housemaid and nothing more.

Molière reading to his housemaid has, I think, been misinterpreted as if he wanted to see how she reacted and have her judge his work. If she was an exceptionally bright, sharp girl, that might be fine, but the common assumption is that she was just a typical housemaid and nothing more.

If Molière ever did read to her, it was because the mere act of reading aloud put his work before him in a new light and, by constraining his attention to every line, made him judge it more rigorously.  I always intend to read, and generally do read, what I write aloud to some one; any one almost will do, but he should not be so clever that I am afraid of him.  I feel weak places at once when I read aloud where I thought, as long as I read to myself only, that the passage was all right.

If Molière ever read to her, it was because the simple act of reading aloud gave him a new perspective on his work and, by forcing him to focus on every line, made him evaluate it more critically. I always plan to read what I write aloud to someone, and I usually do; almost anyone will do, but they shouldn't be so smart that I feel intimidated. I can immediately notice the weak spots when I read aloud where I once thought, while reading to myself, that the passage was fine.

What Audience to Write for

People between the ages of twenty and thirty read a good deal, after thirty their reading drops off and by forty is confined to each person’s special subject, newspapers and magazines; so that the most important part of one’s audience, and that which should be mainly written for, consists of specialists and people between twenty and thirty.

People who are twenty to thirty years old read quite a bit, but after thirty, their reading decreases, and by forty, it’s mostly limited to their specific interests, newspapers, and magazines. This means that the most significant part of your audience, the one you should focus on writing for, is made up of specialists and people between twenty and thirty.

Writing for a Hundred Years Hence

When a man is in doubt about this or that in his writing, it will often guide him if he asks himself how it will tell a hundred years hence.

When a person doubts something in their writing, it can often help to ask themselves how it will be perceived a hundred years from now.

p. 110VIII
Handel and Music

Handel and Beethoven

As a boy, from 12 years old or so, I always worshipped Handel.  Beethoven was a terra incognita to me till I went up to Cambridge; I knew and liked a few of his waltzes but did not so much as know that he had written any sonatas or symphonies.  At Cambridge Sykes tried to teach me Beethoven but I disliked his music and would go away as soon as Sykes began with any of his sonatas.  After a long while I began to like some of the slow movements and then some entire sonatas, several of which I could play once fairly well without notes.  I used also to play Bach and Mendelssohn’s Songs without Words and thought them lovely, but I always liked Handel best.  Little by little, however, I was talked over into placing Bach and Beethoven on a par as the greatest and I said I did not know which was the best man.  I cannot tell now whether I really liked Beethoven or found myself carried away by the strength of the Beethoven current which surrounded me; at any rate I spent a great deal of time on him, for some ten or a dozen years.

When I was a boy, around 12 years old, I always admired Handel. Beethoven was completely new to me until I went to Cambridge; I knew a few of his waltzes and liked them, but I had no idea he had written any sonatas or symphonies. At Cambridge, Sykes tried to teach me Beethoven, but I didn’t enjoy his music and would leave as soon as Sykes started with any of his sonatas. After a long time, I started to appreciate some of the slow movements, and then I grew to like some entire sonatas, several of which I could play fairly well from memory. I also played Bach and Mendelssohn’s Songs without Words and thought they were beautiful, but I always preferred Handel. Little by little, though, I was convinced to see Bach and Beethoven as equally great, and I said I didn’t know who was better. I can’t tell now whether I actually liked Beethoven or if I was just swept up by the strong influence of Beethoven that surrounded me; in any case, I spent a lot of time on him for about ten or twelve years.

One night, when I was about 30, I was at an evening party at Mrs. Longden’s and met an old West End clergyman of the name of Smalley (Rector, I think, of Bayswater).  I said I did not know which was greatest Handel, Bach or Beethoven.

One night, when I was around 30, I was at an evening party at Mrs. Longden’s and met an old West End clergyman named Smalley (I think he was the Rector of Bayswater). I said I didn’t know which was greater: Handel, Bach, or Beethoven.

He said: “I am surprised at that; I should have thought you would have known.”

He said, "I'm surprised by that; I thought you would have known."

“Which,” said I, “is the greatest?”

“Which one,” I asked, “is the greatest?”

“Handel.”

"Handel."

I knew he was right and have never wavered since.  I suppose I was really of this opinion already, but it was not till I got a little touch from outside that I knew it.  From that moment Beethoven began to go back, and now I feel towards him much as I did when I first heard his work, except, of course, that I see a gnosis in him of which as a young man I knew nothing.  But I do not greatly care about gnosis, I want agape; and Beethoven’s agape is not the healthy robust tenderness of Handel, it is a sickly maudlin thing in comparison.  Anyhow I do not like him.  I like Mozart and Haydn better, but not so much better as I should like to like them.

I knew he was right and I’ve never changed my mind since. I guess I already felt this way, but it wasn't until I got a little outside perspective that I truly realized it. From that moment, my views on Beethoven started to shift, and now I feel about him much like I did when I first heard his music, except, of course, that I recognize deeper insights in him that I didn't understand as a young man. But I don’t really care about those deeper insights; I want love. And Beethoven’s love isn’t the healthy, strong tenderness of Handel; it feels weak and overly sentimental in comparison. Anyway, I just don’t like him. I prefer Mozart and Haydn, but not enough to feel good about it.

Handel and Domenico Scarlatti

Handel and Domenico Scarlatti were contemporaries almost to a year, both as regards birth and death.  They knew each other very well in Italy and Scarlatti never mentioned Handel’s name without crossing himself, but I have not heard that Handel crossed himself at the mention of Scarlatti’s name.  I know very little of Scarlatti’s music and have not even that little well enough in my head to write about it; I retain only a residuary impression that it is often very charming and links Haydn with Bach, moreover that it is distinctly un-Handelian.

Handel and Domenico Scarlatti were almost exact contemporaries, both born and dying within a year of each other. They were well acquainted in Italy, and Scarlatti would always cross himself whenever he mentioned Handel's name, but I haven't heard that Handel did the same when mentioning Scarlatti. I don't know much about Scarlatti's music and don’t even have enough to write about it accurately; I just have a lingering impression that it’s often quite delightful and connects Haydn with Bach, and that it definitely doesn’t sound like Handel's work.

Handel must have known and comprehended Scarlatti’s tendencies perfectly well: his rejection, therefore, of the principles that lead to them must have been deliberate.  Scarlatti leads to Haydn, Haydn to Mozart and hence, through Beethoven, to modern music.  That Handel foresaw this I do not doubt, nor yet that he felt, as I do myself, that modern music means something, I know not what, which is not what I mean by music.  It is playing another game and has set itself aims which, no doubt, are excellent but which are not mine.

Handel must have understood Scarlatti’s tendencies very well; his rejection of the principles that led to them was certainly intentional. Scarlatti leads to Haydn, Haydn to Mozart, and then, through Beethoven, to modern music. I have no doubt that Handel anticipated this, nor do I doubt that he felt, as I do, that modern music means something—though I can't quite put my finger on it—that's different from what I consider music. It plays a different game and has set its own goals, which, while undoubtedly admirable, are not the goals I have.

Of course I know that this may be all wrong: I know how very limited and superficial my own acquaintance with music is.  Still I have a strong feeling as though from John Dunstable, or whoever it may have been, to Handel the tide of music was rising, intermittently no doubt but still rising, and that since Handel’s time it has been falling.  Or, rather perhaps I should say that music bifurcated with Handel and Bach—Handel dying musically as well as physically childless, while Bach was as prolific in respect of musical disciples as he was in that of children.

Of course, I realize that I could be completely off-base: I know how limited and shallow my own understanding of music is. Still, I have a strong sense that from John Dunstable, or whoever it was, to Handel, the flow of music was steadily increasing—intermittently, no doubt, but still increasing. Or maybe I should say that music split into two paths with Handel and Bach—Handel leaving no musical heirs, just like he had no children, while Bach was as prolific in producing musical students as he was in having kids.

What, then, was it, supposing I am right at all, that Handel distrusted in the principles of Scarlatti as deduced from those of Bach?  I imagine that he distrusted chiefly the abuse of the appoggiatura, the abuse of the unlimited power of modulation which equal temperament placed at the musician’s disposition and departure from well-marked rhythm, beat or measured tread.  At any rate I believe the music I like best myself to be sparing of the appoggiatura, to keep pretty close to tonic and dominant and to have a well-marked beat, measure and rhythm.

What, then, was it, assuming I’m right at all, that Handel was wary of in Scarlatti's principles as derived from Bach? I think he was mainly concerned about the misuse of appoggiatura, the overuse of the limitless modulation that equal temperament offered musicians, and the departure from a clear rhythm, beat, or measured flow. Anyway, I believe the music I enjoy the most tends to use appoggiatura sparingly, stays close to the tonic and dominant, and features a strong beat, measure, and rhythm.

Handel and Homer

Handel was a greater man than Homer (I mean the author of the Iliad); but the very people who are most angry with me for (as they incorrectly suppose) sneering at Homer are generally the ones who never miss an opportunity of cheapening and belittling Handel, and, which is very painful to myself, they say I was laughing at him in Narcissus.  Perhaps—but surely one can laugh at a person and adore him at the same time.

Handel was a greater man than Homer (I mean the author of the Iliad); but the very people who get the most upset with me for (as they mistakenly think) mocking Homer are usually the ones who never miss a chance to undermine and belittle Handel. It’s especially painful for me because they claim I was making fun of him in Narcissus. Perhaps—but surely, one can laugh at someone and still adore them at the same time.

Handel and Bach

i

If you tie Handel’s hands by debarring him from the rendering of human emotion, and if you set Bach’s free by giving him no human emotion to render—if, in fact, you rob Handel of his opportunities and Bach of his difficulties—the two men can fight after a fashion, but Handel will even so come off victorious.  Otherwise it is absurd to let Bach compete at all.  Nevertheless the cultured vulgar have at all times preferred gymnastics and display to reticence and the healthy, graceful, normal movements of a man of birth and education, and Bach is esteemed a more profound musician than Handel in virtue of his frequent and more involved complexity of construction.  In reality Handel was profound enough to eschew such wildernesses of counterpoint as Bach instinctively resorted to, but he knew also that public opinion would be sure to place Bach on a level with himself, if not above him, and this probably made him look askance at Bach.  At any rate he twice went to Germany without being at any pains to meet him, and once, if not twice, refused Bach’s invitation.

If you restrict Handel by preventing him from expressing human emotion, and you give Bach the freedom to create without any human emotion to express—if you take away Handel's chances and Bach's challenges—the two men can compete to some extent, but Handel will still come out on top. Otherwise, it's ridiculous to let Bach compete at all. Still, the cultured masses have always preferred flashy displays and showiness over the subtlety and the healthy, graceful movements of a well-bred, educated person, and Bach is often viewed as a deeper musician than Handel because of his frequent and more intricate musical structures. In reality, Handel was deep enough to avoid the dense counterpoint that Bach instinctively leaned on, but he also understood that public opinion would likely rank Bach alongside him, if not higher, which probably made him view Bach with some skepticism. In any case, he visited Germany twice without making an effort to see Bach, and more than once, he declined Bach’s invitations.

ii

Rockstro says that Handel keeps much more closely to the old Palestrina rules of counterpoint than Bach does, and that when Handel takes a licence it is a good bold one taken rarely, whereas Bach is niggling away with small licences from first to last.

Rockstro says that Handel sticks more closely to the old Palestrina rules of counterpoint than Bach does, and that when Handel takes a liberty, it’s a bold one that he takes rarely, while Bach is constantly making small liberties from start to finish.

Handel and the British Public

People say the generous British public supported Handel.  It did nothing of the kind.  On the contrary, for some 30 years it did its best to ruin him, twice drove him to bankruptcy, badgered him till in 1737 he had a paralytic seizure which was as near as might be the death of him and, if he had died then, we should have no Israel, nor Messiah, nor Samson, nor any of his greatest oratorios.  The British public only relented when he had become old and presently blind.  Handel, by the way, is a rare instance of a man doing his greatest work subsequently to an attack of paralysis.  What kept Handel up was not the public but the court.  It was the pensions given him by George I and George II that enabled him to carry on at all.  So that, in point of fact, it is to these two very prosaic kings that we owe the finest musical poems the world knows anything about.

People say the generous British public supported Handel. It didn't do anything of the sort. On the contrary, for about 30 years, it did its best to ruin him, drove him to bankruptcy twice, and harassed him until in 1737 he had a paralyzing seizure that nearly killed him. If he had died then, we wouldn't have any Israel, Messiah, Samson, or any of his greatest oratorios. The British public only showed leniency when he became old and eventually blind. By the way, Handel is a rare example of someone doing his best work after a paralysis attack. What kept Handel going wasn't the public but the court. It was the pensions provided by George I and George II that allowed him to continue at all. So, in reality, it’s these two very ordinary kings to whom we owe the finest musical pieces the world knows.

Handel and Madame Patey

Rockstro told me that Sir Michael Costa, after his severe paralytic stroke, had to conduct at some great performance—I cannot be sure, but I think he said a Birmingham Festival—at any rate he came in looking very white and feeble and sat down in front of the orchestra to conduct a morning rehearsal.  Madame Patey was there, went up to the poor old gentleman and kissed his forehead.

Rockstro told me that Sir Michael Costa, after his serious stroke, had to conduct a major performance—I can't be sure, but I think he mentioned a Birmingham Festival—anyway, he arrived looking very pale and weak and sat down in front of the orchestra to lead a morning rehearsal. Madame Patey was there, went up to the poor old man, and kissed his forehead.

It is a curious thing about this great singer that not only should she have been (as she has always seemed to me) strikingly like Handel in the face, and not only should she have been such an incomparable renderer of Handel’s music—I cannot think that I shall ever again hear any one who seemed to have the spirit of Handel’s music so thoroughly penetrating his or her whole being—but that she should have been struck with paralysis at, so far as I can remember, the same age that Handel was.  Handel was struck in 1737 when he was 53 years old, but happily recovered.  I forget Madame Patey’s exact age, but it was somewhere about this.

It’s a curious thing about this amazing singer that not only does she look strikingly like Handel, and not only is she an unmatched interpreter of Handel’s music—I can’t imagine I’ll ever hear anyone who embodies the spirit of Handel’s music so fully—but she also suffered from paralysis, if I remember correctly, at around the same age that Handel did. Handel was affected in 1737 when he was 53 years old, but fortunately, he recovered. I can’t recall Madame Patey’s exact age, but it was around this time.

Handel and Shakespeare

Jones and I had been listening to Gaetano Meo’s girls playing Handel and were talking about him and Shakespeare, and how those two men can alike stir us more than any one else can.  Neither were self-conscious in production, but when the thing had come out Shakespeare looks at it and wonders, whereas Handel takes it as a matter of course.

Jones and I had been listening to Gaetano Meo’s girls play Handel and were discussing him and Shakespeare, and how those two can move us more than anyone else. Neither were self-conscious in their work, but once it's finished, Shakespeare looks at it and contemplates, while Handel accepts it as just part of the process.

A Yankee Handelian

I only ever met one American who seemed to like and understand Handel.  How far he did so in reality I do not know, but inter alia he said that Handel “struck ile with the Messiah,” and that “it panned out well, the Messiah did.”

I only ever met one American who seemed to like and understand Handel. How much he really did, I can't say for sure, but he mentioned that Handel “hit it big with the Messiah,” and that “it turned out well, the Messiah did.”

Waste

Handel and Shakespeare have left us the best that any have left us; yet, in spite of this, how much of their lives was wasted.  Fancy Handel expending himself upon the Moabites and Ammonites, or even the Jews themselves, year after year, as he did in the fulness of his power; and fancy what we might have had from Shakespeare if he had gossipped to us about himself and his times and the people he met in London and at Stratford-on-Avon instead of writing some of what he did write.  Nevertheless we have the men, seen through their work notwithstanding their subjects, who stand and live to us.  It is the figure of Handel as a man, and of Shakespeare as a man, which we value even more than their work.  I feel the presence of Handel behind every note of his music.

Handel and Shakespeare have given us some of the greatest contributions anyone has ever made; yet, despite this, so much of their lives was wasted. Imagine Handel pouring his energy into the Moabites and Ammonites, or even the Jews, year after year at the peak of his abilities; and picture what we might have received from Shakespeare if he had shared stories about himself, his times, and the people he encountered in London and Stratford-on-Avon instead of all the works he chose to write. Still, we have these remarkable figures, alive to us through their art, regardless of their chosen subjects. It’s their identities as men that we cherish even more than their creations. I can feel Handel’s presence behind every note of his music.

Handel a Conservative

He left no school because he was a protest.  There were men in his time, whose music he perfectly well knew, who are far more modern than Handel.  He was opposed to the musically radical tendencies of his age and, as a musician, was a decided conservative in all essential respects—though ready, of course, to go any length in any direction if he had a fancy at the moment for doing so.

He didn't leave behind a school because he was a protest. There were men during his time, whose music he knew very well, who are much more modern than Handel. He was against the musically progressive trends of his era and, as a musician, was clearly a conservative in all key aspects—though he was definitely willing to explore any path at a whim if he felt like it at the time.

Handel and Ernest Pontifex

It cost me a great deal to make Ernest [in The Way of All Flesh] play Beethoven and Mendelssohn; I did it simply ad captandum.  As a matter of fact he played only the music of Handel and of the early Italian and old English composers—but Handel most of all.

It cost me a lot to make Ernest [in The Way of All Flesh] play Beethoven and Mendelssohn; I did it just to grab attention. In reality, he only played music by Handel and the early Italian and old English composers—but Handel the most.

Handel’s Commonplaces

It takes as great a composer as Handel—or rather it would take as great a composer if he could be found—to be able to be as easily and triumphantly commonplace as Handel often is, just as it takes—or rather would take—as great a composer as Handel to write another Hallelujah chorus.  It is only the man who can do the latter who can do the former as Handel has done it.  Handel is so great and so simple that no one but a professional musician is unable to understand him.

It takes a composer as great as Handel—or it would if one could be found—to be able to be as effortlessly and triumphantly ordinary as Handel often is, just like it takes—or it would take—another composer as great as Handel to write another Hallelujah chorus. Only the one who can do the latter can pull off the former the way Handel has. Handel is so great and so straightforward that only a professional musician can truly appreciate him.

Handel and Dr. Morell

After all, Dr. Morell suited Handel exactly well—far better than Tennyson would have done.  I don’t believe even Handel could have set Tennyson to music comfortably.  What a mercy it is that he did not live in Handel’s time!  Even though Handel had set him ever so well he would have spoiled the music, and this Dr. Morell does not in the least do.

After all, Dr. Morell fit Handel perfectly—way better than Tennyson would have. I doubt even Handel could have comfortably set Tennyson's work to music. What a relief it is that he didn't live in Handel's time! Even if Handel had worked with him successfully, Tennyson would have ruined the music, and Dr. Morell definitely does not do that at all.

Wordsworth

And I have been as far as Hull to see
What clothes he left or other property.

And I’ve traveled as far as Hull to check out
What clothes he left behind or any other belongings.

I am told that these lines occur in a poem by Wordsworth.  (Think of the expense!)  How thankful we ought to be that Wordsworth was only a poet and not a musician.  Fancy a symphony by Wordsworth!  Fancy having to sit it out!  And fancy what it would have been if he had written fugues!

I’ve heard that these lines are from a poem by Wordsworth. (Can you imagine the cost?) We should really be grateful that Wordsworth was just a poet and not a musician. Imagine a symphony by Wordsworth! Can you imagine having to sit through that? And think about what it would have been like if he had written fugues!

Sleeping Beauties

There are plenty of them.  Take Handel; look at such an air as “Loathsome urns, disclose your treasure” or “Come, O Time, and thy broad wings displaying,” both in The Triumph of Time and Truth, or at “Convey me to some peaceful shore,” in Alexander Balus, especially when he comes to “Forgetting and forgot the will of fate.”  Who know these?  And yet, can human genius do more?

There are plenty of them. Take Handel; look at songs like “Loathsome urns, disclose your treasure” or “Come, O Time, and thy broad wings displaying,” both in The Triumph of Time and Truth, or “Convey me to some peaceful shore” in Alexander Balus, especially when he reaches “Forgetting and forgot the will of fate.” Who knows these? And yet, can human genius do more?

“And the Glory of the Lord”

It would be hard to find a more satisfactory chorus even in the Messiah, but I do not think the music was originally intended for these words:

It would be difficult to find a more satisfying chorus even in the Messiah, but I don't believe the music was originally meant for these words:

If Handel had approached these words without having in his head a subject the spirit of which would do, and which he thought the words with a little management might be made to fit, he would not, I think, have repeated “the glory” at all, or at any rate not here.  If these words had been measured, as it were, for a new suit instead of being, as I suppose, furnished with a good second-hand one, the word “the” would not have been tacked on to the “glory” which precedes it and made to belong to it rather than to the “glory” which follows.  It does not matter one straw, and if Handel had asked me whether I minded his forcing the words a little, I should have said, “Certainly not, nor more than a little, if you like.”  Nevertheless I think as a matter of fact that there is a little forcing.  I remember that as a boy this always struck me as a strange arrangement of the words, but it was not until I came to write a chorus myself that I saw how it came about.  I do not suspect any forcing when it comes to “And all flesh shall see it together.”

If Handel had approached these words without having a specific theme in mind that he thought they could be adapted to fit, I don't think he would have repeated "the glory" at all, or at least not in this case. If these words had been crafted for a new context rather than, as I believe, fitted with a good second-hand one, the word "the" wouldn't have been added to "glory" before it, making it belong more to the earlier "glory" than to the one that follows. It really doesn't matter much, and if Handel had asked me whether I minded his bending the words a bit, I would have said, "Not at all, a little bending is fine if you want." Still, I do think there’s a slight bending happening. I remember as a kid, this always seemed like a strange arrangement of the words to me, but it wasn't until I tried writing a chorus myself that I understood how it happened. I don't see any bending in the phrase "And all flesh shall see it together."

Handel and the Speaking Voice

The former of these two extracts is from the chorus “Venus laughing from the skies” in Theodora; the other is from the air “Wise men flattering” in Judas Maccabæus.  I know no better examples of the way Handel sometimes derives his melody from the natural intonation of the speaking voice.  The “pleasure” (in bar four of the chorus) suggests a man saying “with pleasure” when accepting an invitation to dinner.  Of course one can say, “with pleasure” in a variety of tones, but a sudden exaltation on the second syllable is very common.

The first of these two extracts is from the chorus “Venus laughing from the skies” in Theodora; the other is from the aria “Wise men flattering” in Judas Maccabæus. I can't think of better examples of how Handel sometimes derives his melody from the natural intonation of the speaking voice. The “pleasure” (in bar four of the chorus) suggests a man saying “with pleasure” when accepting an invitation to dinner. Of course, you can say “with pleasure” in different tones, but a sudden uplift on the second syllable is pretty common.

In the other example, the first bar of the accompaniment puts the argument in a most persuasive manner; the second simply re-states it; the third is the clincher, I cannot understand any man’s holding out against bar three.  The fourth bar re-states the clincher, but at a lower pitch, as by one who is quite satisfied that he has convinced his adversary.

In the other example, the first bar of the accompaniment presents the argument very convincingly; the second just repeats it; the third is the decisive point—it's hard to understand how anyone could resist bar three. The fourth bar rephrases the decisive point but at a lower pitch, as if someone is completely confident they’ve persuaded their opponent.

Handel and the Wetterhorn

When last I saw the Wetterhorn I caught myself involuntarily humming:—

When I last saw the Wetterhorn, I found myself humming without even thinking about it:—

The big shoulder of the Wetterhorn seemed to fall just like the run on “shoulder.”

The big shoulder of the Wetterhorn seemed to drop just like the run on "shoulder."

“Tyrants now no more shall Dread”

The music to this chorus in Hercules is written from the tyrant’s point of view.  This is plain from the jubilant defiance with which the chorus opens, and becomes still plainer when the magnificent strain to which he has set the words “All fear of punishment, all fear is o’er” bursts upon us.  Here he flings aside all considerations save that of the gospel of doing whatever we please without having to pay for it.  He has, however, remembered himself and become almost puritanical over “The world’s avenger is no more.”  Here he is quite proper.

The music for this chorus in Hercules is written from the tyrant’s perspective. This is clear from the joyous defiance with which the chorus begins, and it becomes even more obvious when the grand melody accompanying the words “All fear of punishment, all fear is o’er” hits us. Here, he dismisses all concerns except for the idea of living freely without consequences. However, he has also kept himself in check and becomes almost strict with the line “The world’s avenger is no more.” In this part, he is quite composed.

From a dramatic point of view Handel’s treatment of these words must be condemned for reasons in respect of which Handel was very rarely at fault.  It puzzles the listener who expects the words to be treated from the point of view of the vanquished slaves and not from that of the tyrants.  There is no pretence that these particular tyrants are not so bad as ordinary tyrants, nor these particular vanquished slaves not so good as ordinary vanquished slaves, and, unless this has been made clear in some way, it is dramatically de rigueur that the tyrants should come to grief, or be about to come to grief.  The hearer should know which way his sympathies are expected to go, and here we have the music dragging us one way and the words another.

From a dramatic standpoint, Handel's handling of these words deserves criticism for reasons he usually didn't get wrong. It confuses the listener who anticipates the words to be presented from the perspective of the defeated slaves rather than that of the oppressors. There's no suggestion that these specific oppressors are any less cruel than typical tyrants, nor that these particular defeated slaves are not as virtuous as ordinary victims. Unless this was made clear in some way, it is dramatically de rigueur that the oppressors should face failure or be on the verge of it. The audience should understand where their sympathies are meant to lie, but here we have the music pulling us in one direction while the words pull us in another.

Nevertheless, we pardon the departure from the strict rules of the game, partly because of the welcome nature of good tidings so exultantly announced to us about all fear of punishment being o’er, and partly because the music is, throughout, so much stronger than the words that we lose sight of them almost entirely.  Handel probably wrote as he did from a profound, though perhaps unconscious, perception of the fact that even in his day there was a great deal of humanitarian nonsense talked and that, after all, the tyrants were generally quite as good sort of people as the vanquished slaves.  Having begun on this tack, it was easy to throw morality to the winds when he came to the words about all fear of punishment being over.

Nevertheless, we overlook the deviation from the strict rules of the game, partly because we welcome the good news so joyfully announced to us about all fear of punishment being gone, and partly because the music is, throughout, so much more powerful than the words that we almost completely ignore them. Handel likely wrote as he did from a deep, though perhaps unintentional, understanding that even in his time there was a lot of humanitarian nonsense being spoken and that, after all, the tyrants were generally just as decent as the defeated slaves. Once he started down this path, it was easy for him to disregard morality when he got to the part about all fear of punishment being over.

Handel and Marriage

To man God’s universal law
Gave power to keep the wife in awe

To make sure God's universal law
Gave the authority to keep the wife in respect

sings Handel in a comically dogmatic little chorus in Samson.  But the universality of the law must be held to have failed in the case of Mr. and Mrs. M’Culloch.

sings Handel in a humorously rigid little chorus in Samson. But the universality of the law seems to have fallen short in the case of Mr. and Mrs. M’Culloch.

Handel and a Letter to a Solicitor

Jones showed me a letter that had been received by the solicitor in whose office he was working:

Jones showed me a letter that had been received by the lawyer at the office where he was working:

“Dear Sir; I enclose the name of the lawyer of the lady I am engaged to and her name and address are Miss B.  Richmond.  His address is W. W. Esq. Manchester.

“Dear Sir, I’m including the name of the lawyer for the woman I’m engaged to, and her name and address are Miss B. Richmond. His address is W. W. Esq. Manchester.

“I remain, Yours truly W. D. C.”

Sincerely, W. D. C.”

I said it reminded me of the opening bars of “Welcome, welcome, Mighty King” in Saul:

I said it reminded me of the opening notes of “Welcome, welcome, Mighty King” in Saul:

Handel’s Shower of Rain

The falling shower in the air “As cheers the sun” in Joshua is, I think, the finest description of a warm sunny refreshing rain that I have ever come across and one of the most wonderfully descriptive pieces of music that even Handel ever did.

The falling shower in the air “As cheers the sun” in Joshua is, I think, the best description of a warm, sunny, refreshing rain that I've ever seen and one of the most beautifully descriptive pieces of music that even Handel ever created.

Theodora and Susanna

In my preface to Evolution Old and New I imply a certain dissatisfaction with Theodora and Susanna, and imply also that Handel himself was so far dissatisfied that in his next work, Jephtha (which I see I inadvertently called his last), he returned to his earlier manner.  It is true that these works are not in Handel’s usual manner; they are more difficult and more in the style of Bach.  I am glad that Handel gave us these two examples of a slightly (for it is not much) varied manner and I am interested to observe that he did not adhere to that manner in Jephtha, but I should be sorry to convey an impression that I think Theodora and Susanna are in any way unworthy of Handel.  I prefer both to Judas Maccabæus which, in spite of the many fine things it contains, I like perhaps the least of all his oratorios.  I have played Theodora and Susanna all through, and most parts (except the recitatives) many times over, Jones and I have gone through them again and again; I have heard Susanna performed once, and Theodora twice, and I find no single piece in either work which I do not admire, while many are as good as anything which it is in my power to conceive.  I like the chorus “He saw the lovely youth” the least of anything in Theodora so far as I remember at this moment, but knowing it to have been a favourite with Handel himself I am sure that I must have missed understanding it.

In my preface to Evolution Old and New, I hint at a bit of disappointment with Theodora and Susanna, and I also suggest that Handel himself was somewhat dissatisfied because in his next work, Jephtha (which I mistakenly referred to as his last), he returned to his earlier style. It's true that these works aren't typical of Handel; they're more complex and closer to Bach's style. I'm glad Handel gave us these two examples of a slightly (though it's not much) different approach, and I find it interesting that he didn’t stick to that style in Jephtha, but I wouldn't want to give the impression that I think Theodora and Susanna are unworthy of Handel in any way. I prefer both to Judas Maccabæus, which, despite its many great moments, I probably like the least of all his oratorios. I've played through Theodora and Susanna completely, and most parts (except the recitatives) many times over; Jones and I have gone through them repeatedly. I've heard Susanna performed once and Theodora twice, and I don’t find a single piece in either work that I don’t admire, while many are as good as anything I can imagine. I remember liking the chorus “He saw the lovely youth” the least in Theodora, but since I know it was a favorite of Handel's, I must have missed something in my understanding.

How comes it, I wonder, that the chorale-like air “Blessing, Honour, Adoration” is omitted in Novello’s edition?  It is given in Clarke’s edition and is very beautiful.

How is it, I wonder, that the choral-like piece “Blessing, Honour, Adoration” is missing in Novello’s edition? It’s included in Clarke’s edition and is really beautiful.

Jones says of “With darkness deep”, that in the accompaniment to this air the monotony of dazed grief is just varied now and again with a little writhing passage.  Whether Handel meant this or no, the interpretation put upon the passage fits the feeling of the air.

Jones says of “With darkness deep” that in the accompaniment to this piece, the monotony of stunned grief is occasionally broken up by a little twisting passage. Whether Handel intended this or not, the interpretation applied to the passage fits the emotion of the piece.

John Sebastian Bach

It is imputed to him for righteousness that he goes over the heads of the general public and appeals mainly to musicians.  But the greatest men do not go over the heads of the masses, they take them rather by the hand.  The true musician would not snub so much as a musical critic.  His instinct is towards the man in the street rather than the Academy.  Perhaps I say this as being myself a man in the street musically.  I do not know, but I know that Bach does not appeal to me and that I do appeal from Bach to the man in the street and not to the Academy, because I believe the first of these to be the sounder.

It’s considered a virtue that he doesn’t just cater to the general public but mainly connects with musicians. However, the greatest artists don’t ignore the masses; they engage with them directly. A true musician wouldn’t dismiss even a music critic. His natural inclination is toward the everyday person rather than the elite. Maybe I'm saying this because I see myself as an everyday person when it comes to music. I’m not sure, but I know that Bach doesn’t resonate with me, and I’d rather seek understanding from the average person than from the Academy, because I believe the former is more reliable.

Still, I own Bach does appeal to me sometimes.  In my own poor music I have taken passages from him before now, and have my eye on others which I have no doubt will suit me somewhere.  Whether Bach would know them again when I have worked my will on them, and much more whether he would own them, I neither know nor care.  I take or leave as I choose, and alter or leave untouched as I choose.  I prefer my music to be an outgrowth from a germ whose source I know, rather than a waif and stray which I fancy to be my own child when it was all the time begotten of a barrel organ.  It is a wise tune that knows its own father and I like my music to be the legitimate offspring of respectable parents.  Roughly, however, as I have said over and over again, if I think something that I know and greatly like in music, no matter whose, is appropriate, I appropriate it.  I should say I was under most obligations to Handel, Purcell and Beethoven.

Still, I admit Bach does appeal to me sometimes. In my own simple music, I've borrowed from him before and I have my eye on other pieces that I’m sure will work for me. Whether Bach would recognize them after I've put my own spin on them—and even more whether he would accept them—I don’t know and don’t really care. I take what I want and leave the rest as I see fit, and I change things up or keep them as they are depending on my choice. I prefer my music to grow from a source I’m familiar with, rather than something random that I mistakenly think is my own creation when it actually came from a music box. It’s a wise tune that knows its own origin, and I like my music to be the true product of respectable influences. Generally, as I've said many times, if I think a piece I know and really like fits well, no matter who created it, I claim it. I would say I owe the most to Handel, Purcell, and Beethoven.

For example, any one who looked at my song “Man in Vain” in Ulysses might think it was taken from “Batti, batti.”  I should like to say it was taken from, or suggested by, a few bars in the opening of Beethoven’s pianoforte sonata op. 78, and a few bars in the accompaniment to the duet “Hark how the Songsters” in Purcell’s Timon of Athens.  I am not aware of having borrowed more in the song than what follows as natural development of these two passages which run thus:

For example, anyone who looked at my song “Man in Vain” in Ulysses might think it was taken from “Batti, batti.” I want to clarify that it was inspired by a few bars in the opening of Beethoven’s piano sonata op. 78 and a few bars in the accompaniment to the duet “Hark how the Songsters” in Purcell’s Timon of Athens. I'm not aware of borrowing anything more from the song than what's a natural development of these two sections, which go like this:

From the pianoforte arrangement in The Beauties of Purcell by John Clarke, Mus. Doc.

From the piano arrangement in The Beauties of Purcell by John Clarke, Mus. Doc.

Honesty

Honesty consists not in never stealing but in knowing where to stop in stealing, and how to make good use of what one does steal.  It is only great proprietors who can steal well and wisely.  A good stealer, a good user of what he takes, is ipso facto a good inventor.  Two men can invent after a fashion to one who knows how to make the best use of what has been done already.

Honesty isn't about never stealing; it's about knowing when to stop and how to make good use of what you've taken. Only those with significant resources can steal effectively and wisely. A skilled thief, someone who knows how to make the most of what they take, is in essence a good inventor. Two people can create in their own way, but one will excel who knows how to best utilize what already exists.

Musical Criticism

I went to the Bach Choir concert and heard Mozart’s Requiem.  I did not rise warmly to it.  Then I heard an extract from Parsifal which I disliked very much.  If Bach wriggles, Wagner writhes.  Yet next morning in the Times I saw this able, heartless failure, compact of gnosis as much as any one pleases but without one spark of either true pathos or true humour, called “the crowning achievement of dramatic music.”  The writer continues: “To the unintelligent, music of this order does not appeal”; which only means “I am intelligent and you had better think as I tell you.”  I am glad that such people should call Handel a thieving plagiarist.

I went to the Bach Choir concert and heard Mozart’s Requiem. I didn’t feel very impressed by it. Then I heard a piece from Parsifal, which I really didn’t like. If Bach wiggles, Wagner writhes. Yet the next morning in the Times, I saw this skilled but heartless failure, full of abstract ideas as much as anyone wants, but without a hint of true emotion or genuine humor, labeled “the crowning achievement of dramatic music.” The writer adds: “For those who aren't intelligent, music like this doesn't appeal”; which just means “I'm smart and you should think how I say.” I’m glad that people like this call Handel a stealing plagiarist.

On Borrowing in Music

In books it is easy to make mention of the forgotten dead to whom we are indebted, and to acknowledge an obligation at the same time and place that we incur it.  The more original a writer is, the more pleasure will he take in calling attention to the forgotten work of those who have gone before him.  The conventions of painting and music, on the other hand, while they admit of borrowing no less freely than literature does, do not admit of acknowledgement; it is impossible to interrupt a piece of music, or paint some words upon a picture to explain that the composer or painter was at such and such a point indebted to such and such a source for his inspiration, but it is not less impossible to avoid occasionally borrowing, or rather taking, for there is no need of euphemism, from earlier work.  Where, then, is the line to be drawn between lawful and unlawful adoption of what has been done by others?  This question is such a nice one that there are almost as many opinions upon it as there are painters and musicians.

In books, it's easy to acknowledge the forgotten people who have influenced us and to recognize our debt at the same time we take it on. The more original a writer is, the more they enjoy highlighting the overlooked contributions of those who came before them. However, the rules of painting and music, while they allow borrowing as freely as literature does, don't permit acknowledgment; it's impossible to pause a piece of music or write words on a painting to explain that the composer or artist drew inspiration from a specific source. Yet, it's equally impossible to avoid borrowing, or rather taking, from earlier works, and there's no need for euphemism here. So, where do we draw the line between acceptable and unacceptable use of others' ideas? This question is so nuanced that there are nearly as many views on it as there are artists and musicians.

To leave painting on one side, if a musician wants some forgotten passage in an earlier writer, is he, knowing where this sleeping beauty lies, to let it sleep on unknown and unenjoyed, or shall he not rather wake it and take it—as likely enough the earlier master did before him—with, or without modification?  It may be said this should be done by republishing the original work with its composer’s name, giving him his due laurels.  So it should, if the work will bear it; but more commonly times will have so changed that it will not.  A composer may want a bar, or bar and a half, out of, say, a dozen pages—he may not want even this much without more or less modification—is he to be told that he must republish the ten or dozen original pages within which the passage he wants lies buried, as the only righteous way of giving it new life?  No one should be allowed such dog-in-the-manger-like ownership in beauty that because it has once been revealed to him therefore none for ever after shall enjoy it unless he be their cicerone.  If this rule were sanctioned, he who first produced anything beautiful would sign its death warrant for an earlier or later date, or at best would tether that which should forthwith begin putting girdles round the world.

To set painting aside, if a musician wants to use some forgotten piece from an earlier writer, should he, knowing where this hidden gem lies, just let it remain unknown and unappreciated, or should he wake it up and use it—likely the same way the original composer did, with or without changes? It might be said that this should be done by republishing the original work with the composer’s name, giving them their rightful recognition. That’s how it should be, if the work can handle it; but more often than not, times have changed so much that it can’t. A composer might need just a bar or a bar and a half from, let’s say, a dozen pages—he might not even want that much without some changes—should he be told that he must republish the ten or twelve original pages where the section he wants is buried, as the only fair way to give it new life? No one should have that kind of selfish ownership over beauty, thinking that because it was once revealed to him, no one else can enjoy it unless he leads them. If this rule were accepted, the first person to create something beautiful would essentially sign its death warrant for some future date, or at best would hold back something that should be spreading joy around the world right away.

Beauty lives not for the self-glorification of the priests of any art, but for the enjoyment of priests and laity alike.  He is the best art-priest who brings most beauty most home to the hearts of most men.  If any one tells an artist that part of what he has brought home is not his but another’s, “Yea, let him take all,” should be his answer.  He should know no self in the matter.  He is a fisher of men’s hearts from love of winning them, and baits his hook with what will best take them without much heed where he gets it from.  He can gain nothing by offering people what they know or ought to know already, he will not therefore take from the living or lately dead; for the same reason he will instinctively avoid anything with which his hearers will be familiar, except as recognised common form, but beyond these limits he should take freely even as he hopes to be one day taken from.

Beauty exists not for the self-promotion of the artists but for the enjoyment of everyone, both creators and the audience. The best artist is the one who brings the most beauty into the hearts of the greatest number of people. If someone tells an artist that part of what they’ve created belongs to someone else, their response should be, “Sure, let them take all of it.” They should not be concerned about ownership. Their goal is to connect with people's hearts out of a genuine desire to do so, using whatever resonates best with them, without worrying about where it comes from. They gain nothing by giving people what they already know or should know; therefore, they won’t draw from the living or recently deceased for inspiration. For the same reason, they will naturally shy away from anything their audience is already familiar with, except for well-known forms. Beyond those boundaries, they should freely borrow, just as they hope to be embraced in return one day.

True, there is a hidden mocking spirit in things which ensures that he alone can take well who can also make well, but it is no less true that he alone makes well who takes well.  A man must command all the resources of his art, and of these none is greater than knowledge of what has been done by predecessors.  What, I wonder, may he take from these—how may he build himself upon them and grow out of them—if he is to make it his chief business to steer clear of them?  A safer canon is that the development of a musician should be like that of a fugue or first movement, in which, the subject having been enounced, it is essential that thenceforward everything shall be both new and old at one and the same time—new, but not too new—old, but not too old.

Sure, there’s a hidden mocking spirit in things that makes it so only those who can create well can also take well, but it’s also true that only those who take well can create well. A person must master all the tools of their craft, and none is more important than knowing what has been done by those before them. What, I wonder, can he take from these—how can he build on them and grow from them—if his main focus is to avoid them? A safer guideline is that a musician’s development should be like that of a fugue or a first movement, where, once the subject has been stated, everything that follows must be both new and old at the same time—new, but not too new—old, but not too old.

Indeed no musician can be original in respect of any large percentage of his work.  For independently of his turning to his own use the past labour involved in musical notation, which he makes his own as of right without more thanks to those who thought it out than we give to him who invented wheels when we hire a cab, independently of this, it is surprising how large a part even of the most original music consists of common form scale passages, and closes.  Mutatis mutandis, the same holds good with even the most original book or picture; these passages or forms are as light and air, common to all of us; but the principle having been once admitted that some parts of a man’s work cannot be original—not, that is to say, if he has descended with only a reasonable amount of modification—where is the line to be drawn?  Where does common form begin and end?

Indeed, no musician can be truly original in a significant portion of their work. For aside from using past efforts involved in musical notation, which they take for granted without much appreciation towards those who developed it—similar to how we don’t thank the inventor of the wheel when we hire a cab—it’s surprising how much even the most original music consists of common scale patterns and endings. Mutatis mutandis, the same applies to the most original books or artworks; these patterns or forms are as essential as air, shared by all of us. However, once we accept that certain parts of a person's work can’t be original—meaning with only a reasonable level of modification—where do we draw the line? Where does common form begin and end?

The answer is that it is not mere familiarity that should forbid borrowing, but familiarity with a passage as associated with special surroundings.  If certain musical progressions are already associated with many different sets of antecedents and consequents, they have no special association, except in so far as they may be connected with a school or epoch; no one, therefore, is offended at finding them associated with one set the more.  Familiarity beyond a certain point ceases to be familiarity, or at any rate ceases to be open to the objections that lie against that which, though familiar, is still not familiar as common form.  Those on the other hand who hold that a musician should never knowingly borrow will doubtless say that common form passages are an obvious and notorious exception to their rule, and the one the limits of which are easily recognised in practice however hard it may be to define them neatly on paper.

The answer is that it's not just familiarity that should stop borrowing, but familiarity with a passage that's linked to specific contexts. If certain musical progressions are already tied to various sets of circumstances, they don’t have a unique connection, except maybe to a particular school or period; therefore, no one is upset about finding them associated with one more set. Familiarity beyond a certain point stops being familiarity, or at least it stops being subject to the criticisms aimed at things that, although familiar, aren’t familiar as common forms. Those who believe that a musician should never intentionally borrow will probably argue that common form passages are a clear and well-known exception to their rule, and the boundaries of which are easily recognized in practice, even if it’s challenging to define them precisely in writing.

It is not suggested that when a musician wants to compose an air or chorus he is to cast about for some little-known similar piece and lay it under contribution.  This is not to spring from the loins of living ancestors but to batten on dead men’s bones.  He who takes thus will ere long lose even what little power to take he may have ever had.  On the other hand there is no enjoyable work in any art which is not easily recognised as the affiliated outcome of something that has gone before it.  This is more especially true of music, whose grammar and stock in trade are so much simpler than those of any other art.  He who loves music will know what the best men have done, and hence will have numberless passages from older writers floating at all times in his mind, like germs in the air, ready to hook themselves on to anything of an associated character.  Some of these he will reject at once, as already too strongly wedded to associations of their own; some are tried and found not so suitable as was thought; some one, however, will probably soon assert itself as either suitable, or easily altered so as to become exactly what is wanted; if, indeed, it is the right passage in the right man’s mind, it will have modified itself unbidden already.  How, then, let me ask again, is the musician to comport himself towards those uninvited guests of his thoughts?  Is he to give them shelter, cherish them, and be thankful? or is he to shake them rudely off, bid them begone, and go out of his way so as not to fall in with them again?

It’s not recommended that when a musician wants to create a melody or a chorus, they search for some obscure piece and use it as inspiration. This shouldn’t come from the legacy of living ancestors, but rather rely on the works of those who have passed. Someone who takes this approach will soon lose even the little creative ability they may have once had. On the flip side, there’s no enjoyable piece of art that isn’t clearly recognized as an evolution of something that existed before. This is especially true for music, where its rules and basic components are simpler than in any other art form. A music lover knows what the best composers have accomplished, so they’ll constantly have countless phrases from earlier writers in their mind, like ideas floating in the air, ready to connect with anything similar. Some of these they’ll dismiss right away, as they’re too closely tied to their own contexts; some won’t fit as well as expected; however, one idea will likely emerge as either fitting or easily adaptable to what they need. If it’s the right idea in the right mind, it will have already transformed itself naturally. So, let me ask again, how should a musician deal with these uninvited thoughts? Should they welcome them, nurture them, and be grateful? Or should they shake them off, tell them to go away, and actively avoid crossing paths with them again?

Can there be a doubt what the answer to this question should be?  As it is fatal deliberately to steer on to the work of other composers, so it is no less fatal deliberately to steer clear of it; music to be of any value must be a man’s freest and most instinctive expression.  Instinct in the case of all the greatest artists, whatever their art may be, bids them attach themselves to, and grow out of those predecessors who are most congenial to them.  Beethoven grew out of Mozart and Haydn, adding a leaven which in the end leavened the whole lump, but in the outset adding little; Mozart grew out of Haydn, in the outset adding little; Haydn grew out of Domenico Scarlatti and Emmanuel Bach, adding, in the outset, little.  These men grew out of John Sebastian Bach, for much as both of them admired Handel I cannot see that they allowed his music to influence theirs.  Handel even in his own lifetime was more or less of a survival and protest; he saw the rocks on to which music was drifting and steered his own good ship wide of them; as for his musical parentage, he grew out of the early Italians and out of Purcell.

Can there be any doubt about what the answer to this question should be? Just as it’s harmful to intentionally copy the work of other composers, it’s equally harmful to intentionally avoid it; music must be a person’s most genuine and instinctive expression to have any value. Instinctively, all the greatest artists, no matter their field, find themselves connecting with and evolving from those predecessors who resonate with them. Beethoven evolved from Mozart and Haydn, initially contributing little but eventually changing the entire landscape. Mozart came from Haydn, also adding little at first; Haydn emerged from Domenico Scarlatti and Emmanuel Bach, starting off by adding very little. These musicians were influenced by Johann Sebastian Bach; no matter how much they admired Handel, I don’t think his music significantly influenced theirs. Handel, even during his lifetime, was somewhat of a relic and a reaction; he recognized the pitfalls that music was heading towards and skillfully navigated around them. As for his musical ancestry, he stemmed from the early Italians and Purcell.

The more original a composer is the more certain is he to have made himself a strong base of operations in the works of earlier men, striking his roots deep into them, so that he, as it were, gets inside them and lives in them, they in him, and he in them; then, this firm foothold having been obtained, he sallies forth as opportunity directs, with the result that his works will reflect at once the experiences of his own musical life and of those musical progenitors to whom a loving instinct has more particularly attached him.  The fact that his work is deeply imbued with their ideas and little ways, is not due to his deliberately taking from them.  He makes their ways his own as children model themselves upon those older persons who are kind to them.  He loves them because he feels they felt as he does, and looked on men and things much as he looks upon them himself; he is an outgrowth in the same direction as that in which they grew; he is their son, bound by every law of heredity to be no less them than himself; the manner, therefore, which came most naturally to them will be the one which comes also most naturally to him as being their descendant.  Nevertheless no matter how strong a family likeness may be, (and it is sometimes, as between Handel and his forerunners, startlingly close) two men of different generations will never be so much alike that the work of each will not have a character of its own—unless indeed the one is masquerading as the other, which is not tolerable except on rare occasions and on a very small scale.  No matter how like his father a man may be we can always tell the two apart; but this once given, so that he has a clear life of his own, then a strong family likeness to some one else is no more to be regretted or concealed if it exists than to be affected if it does not.

The more original a composer is, the more likely he is to have established a solid foundation in the works of earlier musicians, deeply rooting himself in them. This allows him to inhabit those earlier works, and in a sense, they live in him, and he in them. Once he has secured this firm footing, he ventures out as opportunities arise, resulting in his works reflecting both his own musical experiences and those of the musical ancestors to whom he feels particularly connected. The fact that his work is heavily influenced by their ideas and styles is not because he deliberately copies them. He naturally adopts their styles, just as children model themselves after kind adults. He admires them because he senses they felt as he does, viewing people and the world similarly; he grows in the same direction they did, making him their descendant, bound by the laws of heredity to be just as much them as he is himself. Therefore, the way that comes most naturally to them will also be the most natural for him. However, no matter how strong the family resemblance may be (and it can be startlingly close at times, as seen between Handel and his predecessors), two people from different generations will never be so alike that their work lacks its own character—unless one is pretending to be the other, which is only acceptable in rare and limited circumstances. Regardless of how much a man may resemble his father, we can always distinguish the two; but once he has developed his own clear identity, a strong resemblance to someone else should neither be regretted nor hidden, just as there’s no need to pretend it exists if it doesn’t.

It is on these terms alone that attractive music can be written, and it is a musician’s business to write attractive music.  He is, as it were, tenant for life of the estate of and trustee for that school to which he belongs.  Normally, that school will be the one which has obtained the firmest hold upon his own countrymen.  An Englishman cannot successfully write like a German or a Hungarian, nor is it desirable that he should try.  If, by way of variety, we want German or Hungarian music we shall get a more genuine article by going direct to German or Hungarian composers.  For the most part, however, the soundest Englishmen will be stay-at-homes, in spite of their being much given to summer flings upon the continent.  Whether as writers, therefore, or as listeners, Englishmen should stick chiefly to Purcell, Handel, and Sir Arthur Sullivan.  True, Handel was not an Englishman by birth, but no one was ever more thoroughly English in respect of all the best and most distinguishing features of Englishmen.  As a young man, though Italy and Germany were open to him, he adopted the country of Purcell, feeling it, doubtless, to be, as far as he was concerned, more Saxon than Saxony itself.  He chose England; nor can there be a doubt that he chose it because he believed it to be the country in which his music had the best chance of being appreciated.  And what does this involve, if not that England, take it all round, is the most musically minded country in the world?  That this is so, that it has produced the finest music the world has known, and is therefore the finest school of music in the world, cannot be reasonably disputed.

It is only under these conditions that appealing music can be created, and it’s a musician's job to produce attractive music. He is, in a sense, a lifelong tenant of the estate and a trustee for the school to which he belongs. Typically, that school will be the one that has the strongest connection with his fellow countrymen. An Englishman can't successfully write like a German or a Hungarian, nor should he even attempt to do so. If we want German or Hungarian music for variety's sake, we’ll get a more authentic version by going directly to German or Hungarian composers. For the most part, however, genuine Englishmen will mostly stay at home, despite their tendency to take summer trips to the continent. Whether as composers or listeners, Englishmen should primarily focus on Purcell, Handel, and Sir Arthur Sullivan. True, Handel wasn’t an Englishman by birth, but no one has ever been more thoroughly English regarding all the best and most distinctive traits of Englishmen. As a young man, even though Italy and Germany were options for him, he chose to adopt the country of Purcell, likely feeling it to be, as far as he was concerned, more Saxon than Saxony itself. He selected England; and there’s no doubt that he did so because he believed it would be the place where his music would be most appreciated. And what does this imply, if not that England, overall, is the most musically inclined country in the world? That this is true, that it has produced some of the finest music the world has ever known, and is therefore the greatest school of music in the world, simply cannot be reasonably disputed.

To the born musician, it is hardly necessary to say, neither the foregoing remarks nor any others about music, except those that may be found in every text book, can be of the smallest use.  Handel knew this and no man ever said less about his art—or did more in it.  There are some semi-apocryphal [128] rules for tuning the harpsichord that pretend, with what truth I know not, to hail from him, but here his theoretical contributions to music begin and end.  The rules begin “In this chord” (the tonic major triad) “tune the fifth pretty flat, and the third considerably too sharp.”  There is an absence of fuss about these words which suggests Handel himself.

For a natural musician, it’s hardly worth mentioning that the earlier comments or any other discussions about music, aside from those you can find in any textbook, are of minimal value. Handel understood this, and no one ever talked less about his craft—or accomplished more within it. There are some semi-mythical [128] rules for tuning the harpsichord that supposedly, though I'm not sure how accurately, come from him, but that's where his theoretical contributions to music start and end. The rules begin with “In this chord” (the tonic major triad) “tune the fifth a bit flat, and the third quite sharp.” There’s a straightforward quality to these instructions that seems to reflect Handel himself.

The written and spoken words of great painters or musicians who can talk or write is seldom lasting—artists are a dumb inarticulate folk, whose speech is in their hands not in their tongues.  They look at us like seals, but cannot talk to us.  To the musician, therefore, what has been said above is useless, if not worse; its object will have been attained if it aids the uncreative reader to criticise what he hears with more intelligence.

The words written and spoken by great painters or musicians who can communicate are rarely enduring—artists are often inarticulate, expressing themselves through their craft rather than through language. They observe us like seals but can’t engage in conversation. For the musician, what’s been mentioned above is of little to no value; its purpose is only fulfilled if it helps the uncreative listener to critique what they hear with greater understanding.

Music

So far as I can see, this is the least stable of the arts.  From the earliest records we learn that there were musicians, and people seem to have been just as fond of music as we are ourselves, but, whereas we find the old sculpture, painting (what there is of it) and literature to have been in all essentials like our own, and not only this but whereas we find them essentially the same in existing nations in Europe, Asia, Africa and America, this is not so as regards music either looking to antiquity or to the various existing nations.  I believe we should find old Greek and Roman music as hideous as we do Persian and Japanese, or as Persians and Japanese find our own.

As far as I can tell, this is the least stable of the arts. From the earliest records, we see that there were musicians, and people seemed to love music just as much as we do today. However, while we find that old sculpture, painting (whatever exists), and literature are fundamentally similar to our own, and also quite similar across current nations in Europe, Asia, Africa, and America, this isn't the case with music when we look back at history or at various existing nations. I believe we would find old Greek and Roman music as unpleasant as we find Persian and Japanese music, or as Persians and Japanese find ours.

I believe therefore that the charm of music rests on a more unreasoning basis, and is more dependent on what we are accustomed to, than the pleasure given by the other arts.  We now find all the ecclesiastical modes, except the Ionian and the Æolian, unsatisfactory, indeed almost intolerable, but I question whether, if we were as much in the habit of using the Dorian, Phrygian, Lydian and Mixo-Lydian modes as we are of using the later Æolian mode (the minor scale), we should not find these just as satisfactory.  Is it not possible that our indisputable preference for the Ionian mode (the major scale) is simply the result of its being the one to which we are most accustomed?  If another mode were to become habitual, might not this scale or mode become first a kind of supplementary moon-like mode (as the Æolian now is) and finally might it not become intolerable to us?  Happily it will last my time as it is.

I believe that the appeal of music comes from a deeper, less rational place and depends more on what we’re used to than the enjoyment we get from other art forms. Right now, we find all the church modes, except the Ionian and the Aeolian, unsatisfactory, even nearly unbearable. But I wonder if, if we used the Dorian, Phrygian, Lydian, and Mixolydian modes as often as we use the later Aeolian mode (the minor scale), we would find them just as satisfying. Isn’t it possible that our clear preference for the Ionian mode (the major scale) is simply because it's the one we're most familiar with? If another mode were to become common, could it become a kind of secondary, moon-like mode (just like the Aeolian is now) and eventually become unbearable for us? Luckily, it will stay as it is for my lifetime.

Discords

Formerly all discords were prepared, and Monteverde’s innovation of taking the dominant seventh unprepared was held to be cataclysmic, but in modern music almost any conceivable discord may be taken unprepared.  We have grown so used to this now that we think nothing of it, still, whenever it can be done without sacrificing something more important, I think even a dominant seventh is better prepared.

Formerly, all dissonances were resolved in a certain way, and Monteverde’s groundbreaking approach of using the dominant seventh without preparation was seen as revolutionary. But in modern music, almost any dissonance can be introduced without preparation. We’ve become so accustomed to this that it seems normal to us. Still, whenever possible, and without compromising something more important, I believe even a dominant seventh is better when it’s prepared.

It is only the preparation, however, of discords which is now less rigorously insisted on; their resolution—generally by the climbing down of the offending note—is as necessary as ever if the music is to flow on smoothly.

It’s just the way of preparing dissonances that’s being less strictly enforced now; resolving them—usually by easing back the jarring note—is still just as important if the music is going to continue flowing smoothly.

This holds good exactly in our daily life.  If a discord has to be introduced, it is better to prepare it as a concord, take it on a strong beat, and resolve it downwards on a weak one.  The preparation being often difficult or impossible may be dispensed with, but the resolution is still de rigueur.

This applies perfectly to our everyday life. If a conflict needs to be introduced, it’s better to set it up as a harmony, hit it hard, and then resolve it softly. The preparation can often be tough or even impossible to achieve, but the resolution is still essential.

Anachronism

It has been said “Thou shalt not masquerade in costumes not of thine own period,” but the history of art is the history of revivals.  Musical criticism, so far as I can see, is the least intelligent of the criticisms on this score.  Unless a man writes in the exotic style of Brahms, Wagner, Dvořák and I know not what other Slav, Czech, Teuton or Hebrew, the critics are sure to accuse him of being an anachronism.  The only man in England who is permitted to write in a style which is in the main of home growth is the Irish Jew, Sir Arthur Sullivan.  If we may go to a foreign style why may we not go to one of an earlier period?  But surely we may do whatever we like, and the better we like it the better we shall do it.  The great thing is to make sure that we like the style we choose better than we like any other, that we engraft on it whatever we hear that we think will be a good addition, and depart from it wherever we dislike it.  If a man does this he may write in the style of the year one and he will be no anachronism; the musical critics may call him one but they cannot make him one.

It’s been said, “You shall not dress in costumes not from your own time,” but the history of art is all about revivals. Musical criticism, as far as I can see, is the least insightful of all critiques on this matter. Unless someone writes in the exotic style of Brahms, Wagner, Dvořák, and I don’t know what other Slavic, Czech, German, or Jewish composers, critics are quick to label him as outdated. The only person in England allowed to write primarily in a homegrown style is the Irish Jew, Sir Arthur Sullivan. If we can adopt a foreign style, then why can’t we embrace one from an earlier time? Surely, we can do whatever we want, and the more we enjoy it, the better we’ll execute it. The key is to ensure that we prefer the style we choose over any other, to incorporate anything we hear that we think will enhance it, and to stray from it wherever we dislike it. If someone does this, he could write in the style of the year one and still not be considered outdated; the music critics might label him as such, but they can’t make it true.

Chapters in Music

The analogy between literature, painting and music, so close in so many respects, suggests that the modern custom of making a whole scene, act or even drama into a single, unbroken movement without subdivision is like making a book without chapters, or a picture, like Bernardino Luini’s great Lugano fresco in which a long subject is treated within the compass of a single piece.  Better advised, as it seems to me, Gaudenzio Ferrari broke up a space of the same shape and size at Varallo into many compartments, each more or less complete in itself, grouped round a central scene.  The subdivision of books into chapters, each with a more or less emphatic full close in its own key, is found to be a help as giving the attention halting places by the way.  Everything that is worth attending to fatigues as well as delights, much as the climbing of a mountain does so.  Chapters and short pieces give rests during which the attention gathers renewed strength and attacks with fresh ardour a new stretch of the ascent.  Each bar is, as it were, a step cut in ice and one does not see, if set pieces are objected to, why phrases and bars should not be attacked next.

The connection between literature, painting, and music, which is so close in many ways, suggests that today’s trend of creating a complete scene, act, or even a drama as a single, seamless movement without breaks is similar to writing a book without chapters. It's like a painting, such as Bernardino Luini’s impressive fresco in Lugano, where a lengthy subject is depicted in a single piece. It seems to me that Gaudenzio Ferrari made a smarter choice by dividing a space of the same shape and size at Varallo into several sections, each relatively complete on its own, arranged around a central scene. Dividing books into chapters, each with its own distinct conclusion, offers readers needed pauses along the way. Anything worth paying attention to can tire you as much as it can please you, much like climbing a mountain. Chapters and shorter segments provide breaks during which focus can recharge, allowing you to approach the next part of the climb with renewed energy. Each bar, in a way, is like a step cut into ice, and if people criticize set pieces, I don’t see why phrases and bars shouldn’t face similar scrutiny.

At the Opera

Jones and I went last Friday to Don Giovanni, Mr. Kemp [131] putting us in free.  It bored us both, and we like Narcissus better.  We admit the beauty of many of the beginnings of the airs, but this beauty is not maintained, in every case the air tails off into something that is much too near being tiresome.  The plot, of course, is stupid to a degree, but plot has very little to do with it; what can be more uninteresting than the plot of many of Handel’s oratorios?  We both believe the scheme of Italian opera to be a bad one; we think that music should never be combined with acting to a greater extent than is done, we will say, in the Mikado; that the oratorio form is far more satisfactory than opera; and we agreed that we had neither of us ever yet been to an opera (I mean a Grand Opera) without being bored by it.  I am not sorry to remember that Handel never abandoned oratorio after he had once fairly taken to it.

Jones and I went last Friday to Don Giovanni, Mr. Kemp [131] got us in for free. It bored us both, and we prefer Narcissus. We acknowledge the beauty of many of the melodies' openings, but this beauty doesn’t last; in every case, the melody fades into something that’s way too close to being dull. The plot, of course, is extremely silly, but plot really has very little to do with it; what could be more uninteresting than the plots of many of Handel’s oratorios? We both think the concept of Italian opera is a bad one; we believe that music should never be combined with acting more than it is, say, in the Mikado; that the oratorio format is much more satisfying than opera; and we agreed that neither of us has ever attended a Grand Opera without feeling bored by it. I’m glad to remember that Handel never gave up oratorio once he committed to it.

At a Philharmonic Concert

We went last night to the Philharmonic and sat in the shilling orchestra, just behind the drums, so that we could see and hear what each instrument was doing.  The concert began with Mozart’s G Minor Symphony.  We liked this fairly well, especially the last movement, but we found all the movements too long and, speaking for myself, if I had a tame orchestra for which I might write programmes, I should probably put it down once or twice again, not from any spontaneous wish to hear more of it but as a matter of duty that I might judge it with fuller comprehension—still, if each movement had been half as long I should probably have felt cordially enough towards it, except of course in so far as that the spirit of the music is alien to that of the early Italian school with which alone I am in genuine sympathy and of which Handel is the climax.

We went to the Philharmonic last night and sat in the shilling orchestra, right behind the drums, so we could see and hear what each instrument was doing. The concert started with Mozart’s G Minor Symphony. We liked it fairly well, especially the last movement, but we found all the movements too long. Speaking for myself, if I had my own orchestra to write programs for, I’d probably include it again once or twice, not out of a real desire to hear more but because I’d want to understand it better. Still, if each movement had been half as long, I think I would have liked it well enough, except that the spirit of the music doesn’t really resonate with the early Italian school, which is the only one I genuinely connect with, and of which Handel is the peak.

Then came a terribly long-winded recitative by Beethoven and an air with a good deal of “Che farò” in it.  I do not mind this, and if it had been “Che farò” absolutely I should, I daresay, have liked it better.  I never want to hear it again and my orchestra should never play it.

Then came a really long-winded recitative by Beethoven and a song with a lot of "Che farò" in it. I don't mind this, and if it had been just "Che farò," I probably would have liked it better. I never want to hear it again, and my orchestra should never play it.

Beethoven’s Concerto for violin and orchestra (op. 61) which followed was longer and more tedious still.  I have not a single good word for it.  If the subject of the last movement was the tune of one of Arthur Robert’s comic songs, or of any music-hall song, it would do very nicely and I daresay we should often hum it.  I do not mean at the opening of the movement but about half way through, where the character is just that of a common music-hall song and, so far, good.

Beethoven’s Concerto for violin and orchestra (op. 61) that came next was even longer and more boring. I can’t say anything good about it. If the theme of the last movement were a tune from one of Arthur Robert’s comic songs or any music-hall song, it would work well, and I bet we’d find ourselves humming it often. I’m not talking about the beginning of the movement but about halfway through, where it really has the vibe of a typical music-hall song, which is fine.

Part II opened with a suite in F Major for orchestra (op. 39) by Moszkowski.  This was much more clear and, in every way, interesting than the Beethoven; every now and then there were passages that were pleasing, not to say more.  Jones liked it better than I did; still, one could not feel that any of the movements were the mere drivelling show stuff of which the concerto had been full.  But it, like everything else done at these concerts, is too long, cut down one-half it would have been all right and we should have liked to hear it twice.  As it was, all we could say was that it was much better than we had expected.  I did not like the look of the young man who wrote it and who also conducted.  He had long yellowish hair and kept tossing his head to fling it back on to his shoulders, instead of keeping it short as Jones and I keep ours.

Part II started with a suite in F Major for orchestra (op. 39) by Moszkowski. It was much clearer and, in every way, more interesting than the Beethoven; now and then, there were sections that were enjoyable, to say the least. Jones enjoyed it more than I did; still, you couldn’t shake the feeling that none of the movements were the pointless showpieces that had filled the concerto. But, like everything else at these concerts, it was too long; if it had been cut down by half, it would have been fine and we would have liked to hear it twice. As it was, all we could say was that it was much better than we had anticipated. I didn’t care for the appearance of the young man who wrote it and also conducted. He had long, yellowish hair and kept tossing his head to fling it back onto his shoulders, rather than keeping it short like Jones and I do.

Then came Schubert’s “Erl König,” which, I daresay, is very fine but with which I have absolutely nothing in common.

Then came Schubert’s “Erl König,” which, I must say, is very impressive, but it’s completely unrelated to my own feelings.

And finally there was a tiresome characteristic overture by Berlioz, which, if Jones could by any possibility have written anything so dreary, I should certainly have begged him not to publish.

And finally, there was a boring opening piece by Berlioz, which, if Jones could have possibly written anything so dull, I would definitely have asked him not to publish it.

The general impression left upon me by the concert is that all the movements were too long, and that, no matter how clever the development may be, it spoils even the most pleasing and interesting subject if there is too much of it.  Handel knew when to stop and, when he meant stopping, he stopped much as a horse stops, with little, if any, peroration.  Who can doubt that he kept his movements short because he knew that the worst music within a reasonable compass is better than the best which is made tiresome by being spun out unduly?  I only know one concerted piece of Handel’s which I think too long, I mean the overture to Saul, but I have no doubt that if I were to try to cut it down I should find some excellent reason that had made Handel decide on keeping it as it is.

The overall impression I got from the concert is that all the movements were too long, and even if the development is clever, it ruins even the most enjoyable and interesting piece if it goes on for too long. Handel knew when to stop, and when he intended to end a piece, he did so abruptly, like a horse coming to a halt, with little or no build-up. Who can deny that he kept his movements short because he understood that the worst music, as long as it's within a reasonable length, is better than the best music that becomes tiresome when stretched out unnecessarily? The only piece of Handel’s that I think is too long is the overture to Saul, but I'm sure if I tried to shorten it, I would discover some excellent reason why Handel chose to keep it as it is.

At the Wind Concerts

There have been some interesting wind concerts lately; I say interesting, because they brought home to us the unsatisfactory character of wind unsupported by strings.  I rather pleased Jones by saying that the hautbois was the clarionet with a cold in its head, and the bassoon the same with a cold on its chest.

There have been some interesting wind concerts lately; I say interesting because they reminded us how unsatisfying wind sounds are without strings. I kind of amused Jones by saying that the oboe was like the clarinet with a cold in its head, and the bassoon was like the clarinet with a cold in its chest.

At a Handel Festival

i

The large sweeps of sound floated over the orchestra like the wind playing upon a hill-side covered with young heather, and I sat and wondered which of the Alpine passes Handel crossed when he went into Italy.  What time of the year was it?  What kind of weather did he have?  Were the spring flowers out?  Did he walk the greater part of the way as we do now?  And what did he hear?  For he must sometimes have heard music inside him—and that, too, as much above what he has written down as what he has written down is above all other music.  No man can catch all, or always the best, of what is put for a moment or two within his reach.  Handel took as much and as near the best, doubtless, as mortal man can take; but he must have had moments and glimpses which were given to him alone and which he could tell no man.

The flowing sounds drifted over the orchestra like the wind rustling through a hillside covered with young heather, and I sat there wondering which Alpine passes Handel crossed when he traveled to Italy. What time of year was it? What was the weather like? Were the spring flowers blooming? Did he walk most of the way like we do now? And what did he hear? He must have occasionally heard music within himself—and that was likely far beyond what he wrote down, just as what he wrote is far beyond all other music. No one can capture everything, or always the best, of what comes within their reach for a moment. Handel must have taken as much and as close to the best as any mortal can manage; but he surely experienced moments and insights given only to him that he could never share with anyone.

ii

I saw the world a great orchestra filled with angels whose instruments were of gold.  And I saw the organ on the top of the axis round which all should turn, but nothing turned and nothing moved and the angels stirred not and all was as still as a stone, and I was myself also, like the rest, as still as a stone.

I saw the world as a huge orchestra with angels playing golden instruments. I noticed the organ at the center, meant to be the pivot for everything, but nothing turned, nothing moved, and the angels didn’t stir; everything was as still as a stone, and I too was, like everyone else, just as motionless as a stone.

Then I saw some huge, cloud-like forms nearing, and behold! it was the Lord bringing two of his children by the hand.

Then I saw some huge, cloud-like shapes coming closer, and look! it was the Lord bringing two of His children by the hand.

“O Papa!” said one, “isn’t it pretty?”

“O Dad!” said one, “isn’t it pretty?”

“Yes, my dear,” said the Lord, “and if you drop a penny into the box the figures will work.”

“Yes, my dear,” said the Lord, “and if you drop a penny into the box, the numbers will move.”

Then I saw that what I had taken for the keyboard of the organ was no keyboard but only a slit, and one of the little Lords dropped a plaque of metal into it.  And then the angels played and the world turned round and the organ made a noise and the people began killing one another and the two little Lords clapped their hands and were delighted.

Then I realized that what I thought was the keyboard of the organ was actually just a slit, and one of the little Lords dropped a metal plaque into it. Then the angels played, the world spun around, the organ made a sound, and people started killing each other while the two little Lords clapped their hands in delight.

Handel and Dickens

They buried Dickens in the very next grave, cheek by jowl with Handel.  It does not matter, but it pained me to think that people who could do this could become Deans of Westminster.

They buried Dickens in the very next grave, side by side with Handel. It doesn't really matter, but it bothered me to think that people who could do this could end up being Deans of Westminster.

p. 135IX
A Painter’s Views on Painting

The Old Masters and Their Pupils

The old masters taught, not because they liked teaching, nor yet from any idea of serving the cause of art, nor yet because they were paid to teach by the parents of their pupils.  The parents probably paid no money at first.  The masters took pupils and taught them because they had more work to do than they could get through and wanted some one to help them.  They sold the pupil’s work as their own, just as people do now who take apprentices.  When people can sell a pupil’s work, they will teach the pupil all they know and will see he learns it.  This is the secret of the whole matter.

The old masters taught not because they enjoyed teaching, nor out of any desire to support art, and certainly not because parents paid them to teach their kids. The parents probably didn’t pay anything at first. The masters took on students and taught them because they had more work than they could handle and needed help. They sold the students’ work as their own, just like people do now with apprentices. When someone can sell a student’s work, they will make sure to teach the student everything they know and ensure they learn it. That’s the key to the whole thing.

The modern schoolmaster does not aim at learning from his pupils, he hardly can, but the old masters did.  See how Giovanni Bellini learned from Titian and Giorgione who both came to him in the same year, as boys, when Bellini was 63 years old.  What a day for painting was that!  All Bellini’s best work was done thenceforward.  I know nothing in the history of art so touching as this.  [1883.]

The modern schoolteacher doesn't aim to learn from their students; they probably can't. But the old masters did. Just look at how Giovanni Bellini learned from Titian and Giorgione, who both came to him as boys in the same year when Bellini was 63. What an incredible day for painting that was! All of Bellini's best work came after that. I don't know of anything in art history that's as moving as this. [1883.]

P.S.  I have changed my mind about Titian.  I don’t like him.  [1897.]

P.S. I’ve changed my mind about Titian. I don’t like him. [1897.]

The Academic System and Repentance

The academic system goes almost on the principle of offering places for repentance, and letting people fall soft, by assuming that they should be taught how to do things before they do them, and not by the doing of them.  Good economy requires that there should be little place for repentance, and that when people fall they should fall hard enough to remember it.

The academic system basically operates on the idea of giving people chances to correct their mistakes, allowing them to make softer failures by believing they should learn how to do things before actually doing them, rather than through experience. Good management suggests that there should be limited opportunities for correcting mistakes, and when people do fall, they should fall hard enough to remember it.

The Jubilee Sixpence

We have spent hundreds of thousands, or more probably of millions, on national art collections, schools of art, preliminary training and academicism, without wanting anything in particular, but when the nation did at last try all it knew to design a sixpence, it failed. [136]  The other coins are all very well in their way, and so are the stamps—the letters get carried, and the money passes; but both stamps and coins would have been just as good, and very likely better, if there had not been an art-school in the country.  [1888.]

We’ve spent hundreds of thousands, or probably millions, on national art collections, art schools, early training, and academic efforts, without any specific goal in mind. But when the nation finally tried to design a sixpence, it failed. [136] The other coins are fine in their own way, and so are the stamps—the letters get delivered, and the money gets used; but both the stamps and coins would have been just as good, and probably better, without an art school in the country. [1888.]

Studying from Nature

When is a man studying from nature, and when is he only flattering himself that he is doing so because he is painting with a model or lay-figure before him?  A man may be working his eight or nine hours a day from the model and yet not be studying from nature.  He is painting but not studying.  He is like the man in the Bible who looks at himself in a glass and goeth away forgetting what manner of man he was.  He will know no more about nature at the end of twenty years than a priest who has been reading his breviary day after day without committing it to memory will know of its contents.  Unless he gets what he has seen well into his memory, so as to have it at his fingers’ ends as familiarly as the characters with which he writes a letter, he can be no more held to be familiar with, and to have command over, nature than a man who only copies his signature from a copy kept in his pocket, as I have known French Canadians do, can be said to be able to write.  It is painting without nature that will give a man this, and not painting directly from her.  He must do both the one and the other, and the one as much as the other.

When is a person truly learning from nature, and when are they just convincing themselves they are because they have a model or a dummy in front of them? A person might spend eight or nine hours a day working from a model and still not be studying nature. They are painting but not truly learning. They are like the person in the Bible who looks at themselves in a mirror and walks away forgetting what they looked like. After twenty years, they won't know any more about nature than a priest who reads his prayer book daily without memorizing it understands its content. Unless they commit what they've seen to memory, so it becomes as familiar to them as the letters they use to write a letter, they cannot be considered knowledgeable about or in control of nature any more than someone who only copies their signature from a piece of paper in their pocket can be said to know how to write. It is painting without engaging with nature that will provide this knowledge, not painting directly from it. They must do both equally and with the same intensity.

The Model and the Lay-Figure

It may be doubted whether they have not done more harm than good.  They are an attempt to get a bit of stuffed nature and to study from that instead of studying from the thing itself.  Indeed, the man who never has a model but studies the faces of people as they sit opposite him in an omnibus, and goes straight home and puts down what little he can of what he has seen, dragging it out piecemeal from his memory, and going into another omnibus to look again for what he has forgotten as near as he can find it—that man is studying from nature as much as he who has a model four or five hours daily—and probably more.  For you may be painting from nature as much without nature actually before you as with; and you may have nature before you all the while you are painting and yet not be painting from her.

It might be questioned whether they've done more harm than good. They're an attempt to capture a bit of artificial nature and study from that instead of examining the real thing. In fact, the person who never has a model but observes the faces of people sitting across from him on a bus, then goes home and captures what little he recalls, piecing it together from memory, and boards another bus to look for what he's forgotten as closely as he can find it—that person is studying from nature just as much as someone who has a model for four or five hours a day—and probably even more. You can be painting from nature just as effectively without the actual subject in front of you as with it; and you might have nature in front of you the entire time you’re painting and still not be painting from it.

Sketching from Nature

Is very like trying to put a pinch of salt on her tail.  And yet many manage to do it very nicely.

Is a lot like trying to put a pinch of salt on her tail. And yet many people manage to do it quite well.

Great Art and Sham Art

Art has no end in view save the emphasising and recording in the most effective way some strongly felt interest or affection.  Where there is neither interest nor desire to record with good effect, there is but sham art, or none at all: where both these are fully present, no matter how rudely and inarticulately, there is great art.  Art is at best a dress, important, yet still nothing in comparison with the wearer, and, as a general rule, the less it attracts attention the better.

Art exists solely to highlight and capture, in the most impactful way, a deep interest or feeling. If there's no interest or desire to express something effectively, it’s either fake art or no art at all. When both are fully present, even if expressed awkwardly or clumsily, it's still great art. Art is essentially an outfit—important, but not nearly as significant as the person wearing it, and usually, the less attention it draws to itself, the better.

Inarticulate Touches

An artist’s touches are sometimes no more articulate than the barking of a dog who would call attention to something without exactly knowing what.  This is as it should be, and he is a great artist who can be depended on not to bark at nothing.

An artist’s touches can sometimes be as unclear as a dog barking to get attention without really knowing why. This is perfectly fine, and a truly great artist is someone you can trust not to bark at nothing.

Detail

One reason why it is as well not to give very much detail is that, no matter how much is given, the eye will always want more; it will know very well that it is not being paid in full.  On the other hand, no matter how little one gives, the eye will generally compromise by wanting only a little more.  In either case the eye will want more, so one may as well stop sooner or later.  Sensible painting, like sensible law, sensible writing, or sensible anything else, consists as much in knowing what to omit as what to insist upon.  It consists in the tact that tells the painter where to stop.

One reason why it’s better not to give too much detail is that, no matter how much you provide, the eye will always want more; it will know that it’s not getting the full picture. On the other hand, even if you give very little, the eye will typically settle for just wanting a bit more. In either case, the eye will always crave more, so you might as well wrap it up sooner or later. Thoughtful painting, like thoughtful law, thoughtful writing, or thoughtful anything else, involves knowing what to leave out as much as knowing what to emphasize. It’s about having the intuition that tells the artist when to stop.

Painting and Association

Painting is only possible by reason of association’s not sticking to the letter of its bond, so that we jump to conclusions.

Painting is only possible because associations don't adhere strictly to the details of their agreements, which leads us to jump to conclusions.

The Credulous Eye

Painters should remember that the eye, as a general rule, is a good, simple, credulous organ—very ready to take things on trust if it be told them with any confidence of assertion.

Painters should keep in mind that the eye, generally speaking, is a reliable, straightforward, and gullible organ—quick to accept things on trust if presented with enough confidence in the statement.

Truths from Nature

We must take as many as we can, but the difficulty is that it is often so hard to know what the truths of nature are.

We should take as many as we can, but the challenge is that it's often really difficult to understand what the truths of nature actually are.

Accuracy

After having spent years striving to be accurate, we must spend as many more in discovering when and how to be inaccurate.

After spending years trying to be accurate, we now need to spend just as long figuring out when and how to be inaccurate.

Herbert Spencer

He is like nature to Fuseli—he puts me out.

He’s like nature to Fuseli—he drains my energy.

Shade Colour and Reputation

When a thing is near and in light, colour and form are important; when far and in shadow, they are unimportant.  Form and colour are like reputations which when they become shady are much of a muchness.

When something is close and in the light, color and shape matter; when it's far away and in shadow, they don't really matter. Shape and color are like reputations—when they get a bit shady, they're pretty much the same.

Money and Technique

Money is very like technique (or vice versa).  We see that both musicians or painters with great command of technique seldom know what to do with it, while those who have little often know how to use what they have.

Money is a lot like technique (or the other way around). We notice that both musicians and painters who have a strong grasp of technique often struggle with what to do with it, while those who have less tend to know how to make the most of what they do have.

Action and Study

These things are antagonistic.  The composer is seldom a great theorist; the theorist is never a great composer.  Each is equally fatal to and essential in the other.

These things are opposites. The composer is rarely a great theorist; the theorist is never a great composer. Each is equally harmful to and necessary for the other.

Sacred and Profane Statues

I have never seen statues of Jove, Neptune, Apollo or any of the pagan gods that are not as great failures as the statues of Christ and the Apostles.

I have never seen statues of Jupiter, Neptune, Apollo, or any of the pagan gods that aren't just as big failures as the statues of Christ and the Apostles.

Seeing

If a man has not studied painting, or at any rate black and white drawing, his eyes are wild; learning to draw tames them.  The first step towards taming the eyes is to teach them not to see too much.

If a man hasn’t studied painting, or at least black and white drawing, his eyes are wild; learning to draw calms them down. The first step towards calming the eyes is to teach them not to see too much.

Quickness in seeing as in everything else comes from long sustained effort after rightness and comes unsought.  It never comes from effort after quickness.

Quickness in seeing, like everything else, comes from long, dedicated effort toward what is right and arrives unexpectedly. It never comes from striving for quickness itself.

Improvement in Art

Painting depends upon seeing; seeing depends upon looking for this or that, at least in great part it does so.

Painting relies on seeing; seeing relies on looking for this or that, at least to a large extent it does.

Think of and look at your work as though it were done by your enemy.  If you look at it to admire it you are lost.

Think of and view your work as if it were done by someone you oppose. If you look at it to admire it, you’re doomed.

Any man, as old Heatherley used to say, will go on improving as long as he is bona fide dissatisfied with his work.

Any man, as old Heatherley used to say, will keep getting better as long as he is genuinely unhappy with his work.

Improvement in one’s painting depends upon how we look at our work.  If we look at it to see where it is wrong, we shall see this and make it righter.  If we look at it to see where it is right, we shall see this and shall not make it righter.  We cannot see it both wrong and right at the same time.

Improvement in painting relies on how we view our work. If we look at it to identify what's wrong, we'll notice those issues and fix them. If we focus on what's right, we'll see that and won't make further improvements. We can't see it as both wrong and right at the same time.

Light and Shade

Tell the young artist that he wants a black piece here or there, when he sees no such black piece in nature, and that he must continue this or that shadow thus, and break this light into this or that other, when in nature he sees none of these things, and you will puzzle him very much.  He is trying to put down what he sees; he does not care two straws about composition or light and shade; if he sees two tones of such and such relative intensity in nature, he will give them as near as he can the same relative intensity in his picture, and to tell him that he is perhaps exactly to reverse the natural order in deference to some canon of the academicians, and that at the same time he is drawing from nature, is what he cannot understand.

Tell the young artist that he should add a black spot here or there, even when he doesn’t see any black in nature, and that he must continue this or that shadow and break this light into another area, even though he sees none of these things in reality, and you'll really confuse him. He’s trying to capture what he sees; he isn’t concerned about composition or light and shadow. If he sees two tones with certain intensities in nature, he’ll represent them as closely as possible with the same intensity in his artwork. Telling him that he might need to completely reverse the natural order to follow some rules from the academics, while simultaneously claiming he’s drawing from nature, is something he just can’t get his head around.

I am very doubtful how far people do not arrange their light and shade too much with the result with which we are familiar in drawing-masters’ copies; it may be right or it may not, I don’t know—I am afraid I ought to know, but I don’t; but I do know that those pictures please me best which were painted without the slightest regard to any of these rules.

I really question how much people don’t overdo their light and shade like what we see in drawing master copies. It might be correct, or it might not—I’m not sure. I feel like I should know, but I don’t. What I do know is that I enjoy the paintings the most that were created without any concern for these rules.

I suppose the justification of those who talk as above lies in the fact that, as we cannot give all nature, we lie by suppressio veri whether we like it or no, and that you sometimes lie less by putting in something which does not exist at the moment, but which easily might exist and which gives a lot of facts which you otherwise could not give at all, than by giving so much as you can alone give if you adhere rigidly to the facts.  If this is so the young painter would understand the matter, if it were thus explained to him, better than he is likely to do if he is merely given it as a canon.

I think the reasoning of those who speak this way is that, since we can't capture all of nature, we end up lying by suppressio veri, whether we want to or not. Sometimes, it’s less of a lie to include something that isn’t currently there, but easily could be, as it can provide a lot of information you wouldn’t be able to share otherwise. This might be truer than just sticking to the bare facts. If this idea were explained to a young painter, he'd likely grasp it better than if it were simply presented as a rule.

At the same time, I admit it to be true that one never sees light but it has got dark in it, nor vice versa, and that this comes to saying that if you are to be true to nature you must break your lights into your shadows and vice versa; and so usual is this that, if there happens here or there to be an exception, the painter had better say nothing about it, for it is more true to nature’s general practice not to have it so than to have it.

At the same time, I acknowledge that you never see light without it being mixed with darkness, and the same goes for the opposite. This means that if you want to stay true to nature, you need to blend your highlights with your shadows and vice versa. It’s so common that if there’s an exception here or there, the artist should probably just avoid mentioning it, since it’s more aligned with nature’s overall practice to not have it that way than to have it.

Certainly as regards colour, I never remember to have seen a piece of one colour without finding a bit of a very similar colour not far off, but having no connection with it.  This holds good in such an extraordinary way that if it happens to fail the matter should be passed over in silence.

Certainly regarding color, I don't recall ever seeing a piece of one color without finding a bit of a very similar color nearby that has no connection to it. This is so consistent that if it ever doesn't hold true, it's best to just ignore it.

Colour

The expression “seeing colour” used to puzzle me.  I was aware that some painters made their pictures more pleasing in colour than others and more like the colour of the actual thing as a whole, still there were any number of bits of brilliant colour in their work which for the life of me I could not see in nature.  I used to hear people say of a man who got pleasing and natural colour, “Does he not see colour well?” and I used to say he did, but, as far as I was concerned, it would have been more true to say that he put down colour which he did not see well, or at any rate that he put down colour which I could not see myself.

The phrase “seeing color” used to confuse me. I knew that some artists made their paintings look more appealing in color than others and more like the colors of the actual things overall, yet there were still plenty of vivid colors in their work that I just couldn't see in nature. I often heard people say about an artist who achieved beautiful and natural colors, “Does he not see color well?” and I would respond that he did, but honestly, it would be more accurate to say that he used colors he didn’t see clearly, or at least that he used colors I couldn’t see myself.

In course of time I got to understand that seeing colour does not mean inventing colour, or exaggerating it, but being on the look out for it, thus seeing it where another will not see it, and giving it the preference as among things to be preserved and rendered amid the wholesale slaughter of innocents which is inevitable in any painting.  Painting is only possible as a quasi-hieroglyphic epitomising of nature; this means that the half goes for the whole, whereon the question arises which half is to be taken and which made to go?  The colourist will insist by preference on the coloured half, the man who has no liking for colour, however much else he may sacrifice, will not be careful to preserve this and, as a natural consequence, he will not preserve it.

Over time, I came to realize that seeing color doesn’t mean creating color or exaggerating it; it means being attentive to it, seeing it where others might not, and prioritizing it among things to be captured and represented in the inevitable chaos of emotion displayed in any painting. Painting is only feasible as a sort of symbolic shorthand for nature; this means that part represents the whole, leading to the question of which part to choose and which to highlight. The colorist will typically focus on the colorful part, while someone who doesn’t appreciate color, no matter what else they might sacrifice, won’t make an effort to capture it, and as a result, they simply won’t preserve it.

Good, that is to say, pleasing, beautiful, or even pretty colour cannot be got by putting patches of pleasing, beautiful or pretty colour upon one’s canvas and, which is a harder matter, leaving them when they have been put.  It is said of money that it is more easily made than kept and this is true of many things, such as friendship; and even life itself is more easily got than kept.  The same holds good of colour.  It is also true that, as with money, more is made by saving than in any other way, and the surest way to lose colour is to play with it inconsiderately, not knowing how to leave well alone.  A touch of pleasing colour should on no account be stirred without consideration.

Good, meaning pleasing, beautiful, or even pretty color can't be achieved by just splattering patches of nice colors on your canvas and, more importantly, leaving them there once applied. It's often said that making money is easier than keeping it, and the same goes for many things, like friendship; even life itself is often easier to get than to hold on to. The same is true for color. Additionally, just like with money, you actually create more by preserving than by doing anything else, and the quickest way to lose color is to mess around with it thoughtlessly, not knowing when to hold back. A touch of pleasing color should never be adjusted without careful thought.

That we can see in a natural object more colour than strikes us at a glance, if we look for it attentively, will not be denied by any who have tried to look for it.  Thus, take a dull, dead, level, grimy old London wall: at a first glance we can see no colour in it, nothing but a more or less purplish mass, got, perhaps as nearly as in any other way, by a tint mixed with black, Indian red and white.  If, however, we look for colour in this, we shall find here and there a broken brick with a small surface of brilliant crimson, hard by there will be another with a warm orange hue perceivable through the grime by one who is on the look out for it, but by no one else.  Then there may be bits of old advertisement of which here and there a gaily coloured fragment may remain, or a rusty iron hook or a bit of bright green moss; few indeed are the old walls, even in the grimiest parts of London, on which no redeeming bits of colour can be found by those who are practised in looking for them.  To like colour, to wish to find it, and thus to have got naturally into a habit of looking for it, this alone will enable a man to see colour and to make a note of it when he has seen it, and this alone will lead him towards a pleasing and natural scheme of colour in his work.

That we can see more color in a natural object than what hits us at first glance, if we look closely, is something anyone who has tried will agree on. Take a dull, lifeless, grimy old wall in London: at first glance, we see no color in it, just a sort of purplish mass, likely created from a mix of black, Indian red, and white. However, if we search for color in this wall, we'll find here and there a broken brick with a small patch of bright crimson, and nearby, another brick showing a warm orange hue, visible through the grime to someone who’s looking for it, but not to anyone else. Then there might be scraps of old advertisements with some colorful fragments still remaining, or a rusty iron hook, or a patch of bright green moss; indeed, very few old walls, even in the grimiest areas of London, lack redeeming bits of color that those trained to look for them can find. To appreciate color, to seek it out, and to cultivate the habit of looking for it, is what allows someone to notice color and take note of it when they see it, and this alone will guide them toward a pleasing and natural color scheme in their work.

Good colour can never be got by putting down colour which is not seen; at any rate only a master who has long served accuracy can venture on occasional inaccuracy—telling a lie, knowing it to be a lie, and as, se non vera, ben trovata.  The grown man in his art may do this, and indeed is not a man at all unless he knows how to do it daily and hourly without departure from the truth even in his boldest lie; but the child in art must stick to what he sees.  If he looks harder he will see more, and may put more, but till he sees it without being in any doubt about it, he must not put it.  There is no such sure way of corrupting one’s colour sense as the habitual practice of putting down colour which one does not see; this and the neglecting to look for it are equal faults.  The first error leads to melodramatic vulgarity, the other to torpid dullness, and it is hard to say which is worse.

Good color can never be achieved by applying colors that aren't visible; only a master who has extensive experience in accuracy can risk occasional inaccuracies—telling a lie while knowing it’s a lie, and as, se non vera, ben trovata. An experienced artist can do this, and really isn’t a true artist unless he knows how to achieve this daily and hourly while remaining truthful, even in his boldest lies; but a child in art must focus on what he sees. If he looks harder, he will see more and might include more, but until he sees it clearly without any doubt, he should not add it. There’s no better way to ruin one’s sense of color than through the regular practice of applying colors that one doesn’t see; this and neglecting to look for them are equally serious mistakes. The first mistake leads to melodramatic vulgarity, while the other leads to lifeless dullness, and it’s hard to say which is worse.

It may be said that the preservation of all the little episodes of colour which can be discovered in an object whose general effect is dingy and the suppression of nothing but the uninteresting colourless details amount to what is really a forcing and exaggeration of nature, differing but little from downright fraud, so far as its effect goes, since it gives an undue preference to the colour side of the matter.  In equity, if the exigencies of the convention under which we are working require a sacrifice of a hundred details, the majority of which are uncoloured, while in the minority colour can be found if looked for, the sacrifice should be made pro rata from coloured and uncoloured alike.  If the facts of nature are a hundred, of which ninety are dull in colour and ten interesting, and the painter can only give ten, he must not give the ten interesting bits of colour and neglect the ninety soberly coloured details.  Strictly, he should sacrifice eighty-one sober details and nine coloured ones; he will thus at any rate preserve the balance and relation which obtain in nature between coloured and uncoloured.

It could be said that keeping all the small bursts of color found in an object that otherwise appears dull, while ignoring the uninteresting colorless details, is really an overstatement and distortion of nature. This doesn’t differ much from outright deception, as it unfairly favors the colorful aspects. In fairness, if the rules of our convention require us to eliminate a hundred details—most of which are colorless, while a few have some color—then we should remove them proportionately from both the colorful and uncolorful parts. If nature has a hundred facts, with ninety being colorless and ten being interesting, and the artist can only show ten, they shouldn’t just present the ten colorful parts and ignore the ninety plain details. Instead, they should sacrifice eighty-one plain details and nine colorful ones; this way, they maintain the balance and relationship that exists in nature between color and lack of color.

This, no doubt, is what he ought to do if he leaves the creative, poetic and more properly artistic aspect of his own function out of the question; if he is making himself a mere transcriber, holding the mirror up to nature with such entire forgetfulness of self as to be rather looking-glass than man, this is what he must do.  But the moment he approaches nature in this spirit he ceases to be an artist, and the better he succeeds as painter of something that might pass for a coloured photograph, the more inevitably must he fail to satisfy, or indeed to appeal to us at all as poet—as one whose sympathies with nature extend beyond her superficial aspect, or as one who is so much at home with her as to be able readily to dissociate the permanent and essential from the accidental which may be here to-day and gone to-morrow.  If he is to come before us as an artist, he must do so as a poet or creator of that which is not, as well as a mirror of that which is.  True, experience in all kinds of poetical work shows that the less a man creates the better, that the more, in fact, he makes, the less is he of a maker; but experience also shows that the course of true nature, like that of true love, never does run smooth, and that occasional, judicious, slight departures from the actual facts, by one who knows the value of a lie too well to waste it, bring nature more vividly and admirably before us than any amount of adherence to the letter of strict accuracy.  It is the old story, the letter killeth but the spirit giveth life.

This is definitely what he should do if he ignores the creative, poetic, and more truly artistic side of his role; if he makes himself just a transcriber, holding a mirror up to nature without any sense of self, becoming more like a looking glass than a person, this is what he has to do. But as soon as he approaches nature with this mindset, he stops being an artist. The better he becomes at painting something that looks like a colored photograph, the more he will fail to satisfy or even connect with us as a poet—someone whose understanding of nature goes beyond its surface, or someone who knows nature well enough to distinguish what is permanent and essential from what is temporary and fleeting. If he wants to present himself as an artist, he has to do so as a poet or creator of what isn’t, as well as a mirror of what is. True, experience in all kinds of poetic work shows that the less a person creates, the better; in fact, the more they produce, the less they truly make. But experience also shows that the course of true nature, like true love, never runs smoothly, and that occasional, thoughtful, slight deviations from the actual facts, by someone who knows the value of a lie too well to waste it, can present nature more vividly and admirably to us than strict adherence to accuracy ever could. It’s the old story: the letter kills, but the spirit gives life.

With colour, then, he who does not look for it will begin by not seeing it unless it is so obtrusive that there is no escaping it; he will therefore, in his rendering of the hundred facts of nature above referred to, not see the ten coloured bits at all, supposing them to be, even at their brightest, somewhat sober, and his work will be colourless or disagreeable in colour.  The faithful copyist, who is still a mere copyist, will give nine details of dull uninteresting colour and one of interesting.  The artist or poet will find some reason for slightly emphasising the coloured details and will scatter here and there a few slight, hardly perceptible, allusions to more coloured details than come within the letter of his bond, but will be careful not to overdo it.  The vulgar sensational painter will force in his colour everywhere, and of all colourists he must be pronounced the worst.

With color, someone who doesn’t actively look for it will start off by not noticing it unless it's so overwhelming that they can't ignore it; as a result, in their depiction of the many facts of nature mentioned earlier, they won't see the ten colorful bits at all, assuming they are, even at their brightest, somewhat muted, and their work will lack color or have unpleasant colors. The faithful copyist, who is still just a copyist, will present nine details of dull, uninteresting color and one that’s interesting. The artist or poet will find a reason to slightly emphasize the colorful details and will sprinkle in a few subtle references to more colorful elements than are strictly required, but will make sure not to go overboard. The crass sensational painter will shove color in everywhere, and of all colorists, he must be considered the worst.

Briefly then, to see colour is simply to have got into a habit of not overlooking the patches of colour which are seldom far to seek or hard to see by those who look for them.  It is not the making one’s self believe that one sees all manner of colours which are not there, it is only the getting oneself into a mental habit of looking out for episodes of colour, and of giving them a somewhat undue preference in the struggle for rendering, wherever anything like a reasonable pretext can be found for doing so.  For if a picture is to be pleasing in colour, pleasing colours must be put upon the canvas, and reasons have got to be found for putting them there.  [1886.]

In short, seeing color is simply about developing a habit of noticing the color patches that are usually easy to find for those who actively look for them. It's not about convincing yourself that you see various colors that aren't actually present; it's about training your mind to look for colorful moments and giving them a slight edge in the effort to depict them whenever there’s a reasonable reason to do so. After all, for a painting to be visually pleasing, it needs to have pleasing colors on the canvas, and you have to find justifications for including them. [1886.]

P.S.—The foregoing note wants a great deal of reconsideration for which I cannot find time just now.  Jan. 31, 1898.

P.S.—The note above needs a lot of reconsideration, but I can't find the time right now. Jan. 31, 1898.

Words and Colour

A man cannot be a great colourist unless he is a great deal more.  A great colourist is no better than a great wordist unless the colour is well applied to a subject which at any rate is not repellent.

A man can't be a great colorist unless he's much more than that. A great colorist is just as good as a great wordsmith unless the color is skillfully applied to a subject that's at least somewhat appealing.

Amateurs and Professionals

There is no excuse for amateur work being bad.  Amateurs often excuse their shortcomings on the ground that they are not professionals, the professional could plead with greater justice that he is not an amateur.  The professional has not, he might well say, the leisure and freedom from money anxieties which will let him devote himself to his art in singleness of heart, telling of things as he sees them without fear of what man shall say unto him; he must think not of what appears to him right and loveable but of what his patrons will think and of what the critics will tell his patrons to say they think; he has got to square everyone all round and will assuredly fail to make his way unless he does this; if, then, he betrays his trust he does so under temptation.  Whereas the amateur who works with no higher aim than that of immediate recognition betrays it from the vanity and wantonness of his spirit.  The one is naughty because he is needy, the other from natural depravity.  Besides, the amateur can keep his work to himself, whereas the professional man must exhibit or starve.

There’s no excuse for bad amateur work. Amateurs often justify their shortcomings by saying they aren’t professionals, but professionals could argue just as reasonably that they aren’t amateurs. A professional might claim they lack the free time and financial security that allows them to focus entirely on their art, expressing what they truly see without worrying about others' opinions. Instead, they need to consider what will please their patrons and what critics will tell those patrons to think; they have to please everyone, and they will definitely struggle to succeed if they don’t. If they fail in their responsibilities, it’s due to temptation. On the other hand, an amateur who seeks immediate recognition fails out of vanity and carelessness in their spirit. One is misbehaving out of need, while the other does so from basic selfishness. Additionally, amateurs can keep their work private, while professionals must display it or risk financial hardship.

The question is what is the amateur an amateur of?  What is he really in love with?  Is he in love with other people, thinking he sees something which he would like to show them, which he feels sure they would enjoy if they could only see it as he does, which he is therefore trying as best he can to put before the few nice people whom he knows?  If this is his position he can do no wrong, the spirit in which he works will ensure that his defects will be only as bad spelling or bad grammar in some pretty saying of a child.  If, on the other hand, he is playing for social success and to get a reputation for being clever, then no matter how dexterous his work may be, it is but another mode of the speaking with the tongues of men and angels without charity; it is as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal, full of sound and fury signifying nothing.

The question is, what does the amateur actually love? What is he truly passionate about? Is he infatuated with other people, believing he sees something valuable that he wants to share with them, something he’s confident they would appreciate if they could just see it as he does? If this is where he stands, he can do no wrong; his intent will make any flaws seem like mere misspellings or grammatical errors in the sweet words of a child. However, if he’s seeking social success and trying to gain a reputation for being clever, then no matter how skillful his work may be, it’s just another way of speaking eloquently without genuine care; it’s like clashing brass or a meaningless sound, full of noise and chaos, but signifying nothing.

The Ansidei Raffaelle

This picture is inspired by no deeper feeling than a determination to adhere to the conventions of the time.  These conventions ensure an effect of more or less devotional character, and this, coupled with our reverence for the name of Raffaelle, the sentiments arising from antiquity and foreignness, and the inability of most people to judge of the work on technical grounds, because they can neither paint nor draw, prevents us from seeing what a mere business picture it is and how poor the painting is throughout.  A master in any art should be first man, then poet, then craftsman; this picture must have been painted by one who was first worldling, then religious-property-manufacturer, then painter with brains not more than average and no heart.

This painting is motivated by nothing more than a commitment to follow the conventions of the time. These conventions create an effect that feels somewhat devotional, and this, combined with our respect for the name Raffaelle, the emotions tied to history and foreignness, and the fact that most people can't assess the work on technical terms because they can't paint or draw, stops us from realizing how much of a commercial piece it really is and how weak the painting is overall. A true master in any art should be a person of integrity first, then a poet, and finally a skilled craftsman; this painting must have been created by someone who was first a worldly person, then a religious manufacturer, and then a painter with only average skill and no real passion.

The Madonna’s head has indeed a certain prettiness of a not very uncommon kind; the paint has been sweetened with a soft brush and licked smooth till all texture as of flesh is gone and the head is wooden and tight; I can see no expression in it; the hand upon the open book is as badly drawn as the hand of S. Catharine (also by Raffaelle) in our gallery, or even worse; so is the part of the other hand which can be seen; they are better drawn than the hands in the Ecce homo of Correggio in our gallery, for the fingers appear to have the right number of joints, which none of those in the Correggio have, but this is as much as can be said.

The Madonna’s head has a certain prettiness that's not that uncommon; the paint has been smoothed out with a soft brush until all texture that resembles flesh is gone, making the head look wooden and stiff. I see no expression in it; the hand on the open book is poorly drawn, like the hand of St. Catherine (also by Raffaelle) in our gallery, maybe even worse. The visible part of the other hand is equally bad. They are better drawn than the hands in the Ecce homo of Correggio in our gallery since the fingers seem to have the right number of joints, which none of the fingers in the Correggio do, but that’s about all the praise I can give.

The dress is poorly painted, the gold thread work being of the cheapest, commonest kind, both as regards pattern and the quantity allowed; especially note the meagre allowance and poor pattern of the embroidery on the virgin’s bosom; it is done as by one who knew she ought to have, and must have, a little gold work, but was determined she should have no more than he could help.  This is so wherever there is gold thread work in the picture.  It is so on S. Nicholas’s cloak where a larger space is covered, but the pattern is dull and the smallest quantity of gold is made to go the longest way.  The gold cording which binds this is more particularly badly done.  Compare the embroidery and gold thread work in “The Virgin adoring the Infant Christ,” ascribed to Andrea Verrocchio, No. 296, Room V; “The Annunciation” by Carlo Crivelli, No. 739, Room VIII; in “The Angel Raphael accompanies Tobias on his Journey into Media” attributed to Botticini, No. 781, Room V; in “Portrait of a Lady,” school of Pollaiuolo, No. 585, Room V; in “A Canon of the Church with his Patron Saints” by Gheeraert David, No. 1045, Room XI; or indeed the general run of the gold embroidery of the period as shown in our gallery. [147]

The dress is poorly painted, and the gold thread work is the cheapest and most common kind, both in terms of design and the small amount used. Especially noticeable is the minimal and poorly designed embroidery on the virgin’s chest; it looks like it was done by someone who knew it should have some gold work but was determined to use as little as possible. This is the case everywhere there’s gold thread work in the painting. It’s also true on S. Nicholas’s cloak, where a larger area is covered, but the design is uninspired and the little gold used stretches the furthest. The gold cording that binds this is particularly poorly executed. Compare the embroidery and gold thread work in “The Virgin adoring the Infant Christ,” attributed to Andrea Verrocchio, No. 296, Room V; “The Annunciation” by Carlo Crivelli, No. 739, Room VIII; in “The Angel Raphael accompanies Tobias on his Journey into Media” attributed to Botticini, No. 781, Room V; in “Portrait of a Lady,” school of Pollaiuolo, No. 585, Room V; in “A Canon of the Church with his Patron Saints” by Gheeraert David, No. 1045, Room XI; or even the general quality of gold embroidery from that period as shown in our gallery. [147]

So with the jewels; there are examples of jewels in most of the pictures named above, none of them, perhaps, very first-rate, but all of them painted with more care and serious aim than the eighteen-penny trinket which serves S. Nicholas for a brooch.  The jewels in the mitre are rather better than this, but much depends upon the kind of day on which the picture is seen; on a clear bright day they, and indeed every part of the picture, look much worse than on a dull one because the badness can be more clearly seen.  As for the mitre itself, it is made of the same hard unyielding material as the portico behind the saint, whatever this may be, presumably wood.

So, about the jewels; you can see examples of them in most of the pictures mentioned earlier. None of them are truly top-notch, but they’re all painted with more care and intent than the eighteen-penny trinket that S. Nicholas uses as a brooch. The jewels in the mitre are somewhat better, but a lot depends on the kind of day you’re viewing the picture. On a clear, bright day, they—and really, every part of the picture—look a lot worse than on a dull day because you can see the flaws more clearly. As for the mitre itself, it's made of the same hard, unyielding material as the portico behind the saint, whatever that may be; it’s probably wood.

Observe also the crozier which S. Nicholas is holding; observe the cheap streak of high light exactly the same thickness all the way and only broken in one place; so with the folds in the draperies; all is monotonous, unobservant, unimaginative—the work of a feeble man whose pains will never extend much beyond those necessary to make him pass as stronger than he is; especially the folds in the white linen over S. Nicholas’s throat, and about his girdle—weaker drapery can hardly be than this, unless, perhaps, that from under which S. Nicholas’s hands come.  There is not only no art here to conceal, but there is not even pains to conceal the want of art.  As for the hands themselves, and indeed all the hands and feet throughout the picture, there is not one which is even tolerably drawn if judged by the standard which Royal Academicians apply to Royal Academy students now.

Observe also the crozier that St. Nicholas is holding; notice the cheap highlight that's the same thickness all the way through and only breaks in one spot; the same goes for the folds in the fabric; everything is monotonous, unobservant, unimaginative—the work of a weak artist whose efforts won't go much beyond what's necessary to make him seem stronger than he is; especially the folds in the white linen around St. Nicholas's throat and his belt—this is some of the weakest drapery possible, unless maybe the fabric from which St. Nicholas's hands emerge. There’s not just a lack of skill here to hide, but there's not even an effort to hide the lack of skill. As for the hands, and really all the hands and feet in the picture, not one is even drawn tolerably well if judged by the standards that Royal Academicians apply to their students today.

Granted that this is an early work, nevertheless I submit that the drawing here is not that of one who is going to do better by and by, it is that of one who is essentially insincere and who will never aim higher than immediate success.  Those who grow to the best work almost always begin by laying great stress on details which are all they as yet have strength for; they cannot do much, but the little they can do they do and never tire of doing; they grow by getting juster notions of proportion and subordination of parts to the whole rather than by any greater amount of care and patience bestowed upon details.  Here there are no bits of detail worked out as by one who was interested in them and enjoyed them.  Wherever a thing can be scamped it is scamped.  As the whole is, so are the details, and as the details are, so is the whole; all is tainted with eye-service and with a vulgarity not the less profound for being veiled by a due observance of conventionality.

While this is an early work, I still believe that the drawing here is not from someone who will improve over time; it comes from someone who is fundamentally insincere and will never aim higher than immediate success. Those who eventually create their best work usually start by focusing heavily on the details, which are all they can handle at that point; they may not be able to do much, but what they can do, they do tirelessly. They improve by developing a better understanding of proportion and how parts relate to the whole, rather than through an increased amount of care and patience on the details. In this work, there are no detailed parts that seem to be crafted by someone who is genuinely interested and enjoying the process. Wherever something can be rushed, it is rushed. The quality of the whole reflects in the details, and the quality of the details reflects in the whole; everything is marked by a lack of authenticity and a vulgarity that is still present even though it’s hidden behind a facade of conventionality.

I shall be told that Raffaelle did come to draw and paint much better than he has done here.  I demur to this.  He did a little better; he just took so much pains as to prevent him from going down-hill headlong, and, with practice, he gained facility, but he was never very good, either as a draughtsman or as a painter.  His reputation, indeed, rests mainly on his supposed exquisitely pure and tender feeling.  His colour is admittedly inferior, his handling is not highly praised by any one, his drawing has been much praised, but it is of a penmanship freehand kind which is particularly apt to take people in.  Of course he could draw in some ways, no one giving all his time to art and living in Raffaelle’s surroundings could, with even ordinary pains, help becoming a facile draughtsman, but it is the expression and sentiment of his pictures which are supposed to be so ineffable and to make him the prince of painters.

I’ll be told that Raffaelle came to draw and paint much better than he has here. I disagree. He did a little better; he just put in enough effort to keep from completely failing, and with practice, he became more skilled, but he was never really that good, either as a draftsman or a painter. His reputation mainly relies on his supposed exquisitely pure and tender feelings. His color is definitely lacking, his technique isn’t praised by anyone, his drawing has received some acclaim, but it's a style that can easily mislead people. Of course, he could draw in some ways; anyone who dedicates all their time to art and lives in Raffaelle’s environment could, with even a bit of effort, become a competent draftsman. But it’s the expression and sentiment of his paintings that are believed to be so extraordinary, making him the prince of painters.

I do not think this reputation will be maintained much longer.  I can see no ineffable expression in the Ansidei Madonna’s head, nor yet in that of the Garvagh Madonna in our gallery, nor in the S. Catharine.  He has the saint-touch, as some painters have the tree-touch and others the water-touch.  I remember the time when I used to think I saw religious feeling in these last two pictures, but each time I see them I wonder more and more how I can have been taken in by them.  I hear people admire the head of S. Nicholas in the Ansidei picture.  I can see nothing in it beyond the power of a very ordinary painter, and nothing that a painter of more than very ordinary power would be satisfied with.  When I look at the head of Bellini’s Doge, Loredano Loredani, I can see defects, as every one can see defects in every picture, but the more I see it the more I marvel at it, and the more profoundly I respect the painter.  With Raffaelle I find exactly the reverse; I am carried away at first, as I was when a young man by Mendelssohn’s Songs Without Words, only to be very angry with myself presently on finding that I could have believed even for a short time in something that has no real hold upon me.  I know the S. Catharine in our gallery has been said by some not to be by Raffaelle.  No one will doubt its genuineness who compares the drawing, painting and feeling of S. Catharine’s eyes and nose with those of the S. John in the Ansidei picture.  The doubts have only been raised owing to the fact that the picture, being hung on a level with the eye, is so easily seen to be bad that people think Raffaelle cannot have painted it.

I don’t think this reputation will last much longer. I don’t see anything special in the Ansidei Madonna’s head, nor in the Garvagh Madonna in our gallery, nor in the S. Catharine. He has the saint-touch, just like some painters have a talent for trees and others for water. I remember a time when I thought I felt a sense of spirituality in these last two paintings, but every time I see them, I wonder more how I could have been fooled by them. I hear people admire the head of S. Nicholas in the Ansidei painting. I see nothing in it beyond the skill of a pretty average painter, and nothing that a painter with more than average talent would be happy with. When I look at the head of Bellini’s Doge, Loredano Loredani, I can see flaws, just like everyone sees flaws in every painting, but the more I look at it, the more I marvel at it, and the more I deeply respect the painter. With Raffaelle, I feel completely the opposite; I get swept away at first, just like I did when I was young listening to Mendelssohn’s Songs Without Words, only to get really frustrated with myself later for being able to believe even for a moment in something that doesn’t truly resonate with me. I know some have claimed the S. Catharine in our gallery isn’t by Raffaelle. No one would doubt its authenticity if they compared the drawing, painting, and emotion in S. Catharine’s eyes and nose with those of S. John in the Ansidei painting. The doubts have only come up because the painting is hung at eye level, making its poor quality so obvious that people think Raffaelle couldn’t have painted it.

Returning to the S. Nicholas; apart from the expression, or as it seems to me want of expression, the modelling of the head is not only poor but very poor.  The forehead is formless and boneless, the nose is entirely wanting in that play of line and surface which an old man’s nose affords; no one ever yet drew or painted a nose absolutely as nature has made it, but he who compares carefully drawn noses, as that in Rembrandt’s younger portrait of himself, in his old woman, in the three Van Eycks, in the Andrea Solario, in the Loredano Loredani by Bellini, all in our gallery, with the nose of Raffaelle’s S. Nicholas will not be long in finding out how slovenly Raffaelle’s treatment in reality is.  Eyes, eyebrows, mouth, cheeks and chin are treated with the same weakness, and this not the weakness of a child who is taking much pains to do something beyond his strength, and whose intention can be felt through and above the imperfections of his performance (as in the case of the two Apostles’ heads by Giotto in our gallery), but of one who is not even conscious of weakness save by way of impatience that his work should cost him time and trouble at all, and who is satisfied if he can turn it out well enough to take in patrons who have themselves never either drawn or painted.

Returning to the S. Nicholas; apart from the expression, or what seems to me the lack of it, the modeling of the head is not just poor but very poor. The forehead is shapeless and lackluster, the nose completely misses the nuanced lines and surface that an older man's nose has; no one has ever drawn or painted a nose exactly as nature made it, but if you carefully compare well-drawn noses, like those in Rembrandt's younger portrait of himself, in his old woman, in the three Van Eycks, in Andrea Solario, and in Loredano Loredani by Bellini, all in our gallery, with the nose of Raffaelle’s S. Nicholas, you’ll quickly see how careless Raffaelle’s work actually is. The eyes, eyebrows, mouth, cheeks, and chin are treated with the same lack of skill, and this is not the inadequacy of a child who is trying hard to do something beyond their abilities, where you can feel their intention through the imperfections (like in the two Apostles’ heads by Giotto in our gallery), but instead the lack of awareness of weakness, except for a frustration that their work should require any time and effort at all, and who is satisfied if they can produce something good enough to impress patrons who have never drawn or painted themselves.

Finally, let the spectator turn to the sky and landscape.  It is the cheapest kind of sky with no clouds and going down as low as possible, so as to save doing more country details than could be helped.  As for the little landscape there is, let the reader compare it with any of the examples by Bellini, Basaiti, or even Cima da Conegliano, which may be found in the same or the adjoining rooms.

Finally, let the viewer look up at the sky and the landscape. It's the simplest type of sky, completely clear, and dropping down low to avoid adding more details to the countryside than necessary. As for the small amount of landscape that exists, the reader can compare it to any works by Bellini, Basaiti, or even Cima da Conegliano, which can be found in the same or nearby rooms.

How, then, did Raffaelle get his reputation?  It may be answered, How did Virgil get his? or Dante? or Bacon? or Plato? or Mendelssohn? or a score of others who not only get the public ear but keep it sometimes for centuries?  How did Guido, Guercino and Domenichino get their reputations?  A hundred years ago these men were held as hardly inferior to Raffaelle himself.  They had a couple of hundred years or so of triumph—why so much?  And if so much, why not more?  If we begin asking questions, we may ask why anything at all?  Populus vult decipi is the only answer, and nine men out of ten will follow on with et decipiatur.  The immediate question, however, is not how Raffaelle came by his reputation but whether, having got it, he will continue to hold it now that we have a fair amount of his work at the National Gallery.

How did Raffaelle earn his reputation? One could ask, how did Virgil earn his? Or Dante? Or Bacon? Or Plato? Or Mendelssohn? Or many others who not only capture the public’s attention but maintain it for sometimes centuries? How did Guido, Guercino, and Domenichino become known? A hundred years ago, these artists were regarded as almost equal to Raffaelle himself. They had a couple of hundred years of success—why so much? And if they had so much, why not more? If we start asking questions, we might wonder why anything exists at all? Populus vult decipi is the only answer, and nine out of ten people will add et decipiatur. However, the immediate question isn’t how Raffaelle gained his reputation but whether, having gained it, he will continue to hold it now that we have a significant amount of his work at the National Gallery.

I grant that the general effect of the picture if looked at as a mere piece of decoration is agreeable, but I have seen many a picture which though not bearing consideration as a serious work yet looked well from a purely decorative standpoint.  I believe, however, that at least half of those who sit gazing before this Ansidei Raffaelle by the half-hour at a time do so rather that they may be seen than see; half, again, of the remaining half come because they are made to do so, the rest see rather what they bring with them and put into the picture than what the picture puts into them.

I admit that the overall look of the painting, if viewed just as decoration, is pleasing, but I've seen many artworks that, while not serious, still look nice from a decorative perspective. However, I think at least half of the people who sit staring at this Ansidei Raffaelle for half an hour do so more to be seen than to actually see it. Of the rest, half go because they feel obligated to, and the remaining viewers mostly project their own ideas onto the painting rather than receive what it offers them.

And then there is the charm of mere age.  Any Italian picture of the early part of the sixteenth century, even though by a worse painter than Raffaelle, can hardly fail to call up in us a solemn, old-world feeling, as though we had stumbled unexpectedly on some holy, peaceful survivors of an age long gone by, when the struggle was not so fierce and the world was a sweeter, happier place than we now find it, when men and women were comelier, and we should like to have lived among them, to have been golden-hued as they, to have done as they did; we dream of what might have been if our lines had been cast in more pleasant places—and so on, all of it rubbish, but still not wholly unpleasant rubbish so long as it is not dwelt upon.

And then there's the charm of simply being old. Any Italian painting from the early sixteenth century, even if created by a less skilled artist than Raffaelle, can’t help but evoke in us a deep, nostalgic feeling, as if we’ve stumbled upon some sacred, serene remnants of a long-lost era, when life wasn’t as hard and the world was a sweeter, happier place than it is today, when people were more attractive, and we wish we could have lived among them, to have shared their golden glow, to have done what they did; we fantasize about what could have been if we had been born in better times—and so forth, all of it nonsense, but still not entirely unpleasant nonsense as long as we don’t linger on it.

Bearing in mind the natural tendency to accept anything which gives us a peep as it were into a golden age, real or imaginary, bearing in mind also the way in which this particular picture has been written up by critics, and the prestige of Raffaelle’s name, the wonder is not that so many let themselves be taken in and carried away with it but that there should not be a greater gathering before it than there generally is.

Considering our natural inclination to embrace anything that offers a glimpse into a golden age, whether real or imagined, and taking into account how critics have praised this particular piece, along with the esteemed reputation of Raffaelle, it's surprising not that many people are easily captivated by it, but rather that there aren't even more people drawn to it than there usually are.

Buying a Rembrandt

As an example of the evenness of the balance of advantages between the principles of staying still and taking what comes, and going about to look for things, [151] I might mention my small Rembrandt, “The Robing of Joseph before Pharaoh.”  I have wanted a Rembrandt all my life, and I have wanted not to give more than a few shillings for it.  I might have travelled all Europe over for no one can say how many years, looking for a good, well-preserved, forty-shilling Rembrandt (and this was what I wanted), but on two occasions of my life cheap Rembrandts have run right up against me.  The first was a head cut out of a ruined picture that had only in part escaped destruction when Belvoir Castle was burned down at the beginning of this century.  I did not see the head but have little doubt it was genuine.  It was offered me for a pound; I was not equal to the occasion and did not at once go to see it as I ought, and when I attended to it some months later the thing had gone.  My only excuse must be that I was very young.

As an example of how balanced the advantages are between staying put and letting things come to you versus actively searching for them, [151] I’d like to mention my small Rembrandt, “The Robing of Joseph before Pharaoh.” I’ve wanted a Rembrandt all my life, but I didn’t want to pay more than a few shillings for one. I could have traveled all over Europe for who knows how many years looking for a good, well-preserved Rembrandt for forty shillings (and that’s what I was after), but twice in my life, inexpensive Rembrandts came my way unexpectedly. The first was a head from a ruined painting that had only partially survived the fire at Belvoir Castle at the beginning of this century. I didn’t see the head, but I have little doubt it was real. It was offered to me for a pound; I didn’t rise to the occasion and didn’t go to see it right away like I should have, and when I finally paid attention to it months later, it was gone. My only excuse is that I was very young.

I never got another chance till a few weeks ago when I saw what I took, and take, to be an early, but very interesting, work by Rembrandt in the window of a pawnbroker opposite St. Clement Danes Church in the Strand.  I very nearly let this slip too.  I saw it and was very much struck with it, but, knowing that I am a little apt to be too sanguine, distrusted my judgment; in the evening I mentioned the picture to Gogin who went and looked at it; finding him not less impressed than I had been with the idea that the work was an early one by Rembrandt, I bought it, and the more I look at it the more satisfied I am that we are right.

I never got another chance until a few weeks ago when I saw what I believe is an early but really intriguing work by Rembrandt in the window of a pawn shop across from St. Clement Danes Church on the Strand. I almost let this one slip by too. I saw it and was really struck by it, but knowing that I can be a bit too optimistic, I doubted my judgment. That evening, I mentioned the painting to Gogin, who went to check it out; finding that he was just as impressed as I was with the idea that it was an early piece by Rembrandt, I decided to buy it, and the more I look at it, the more convinced I am that we’re right.

People talk as though the making the best of what comes was such an easy matter, whereas nothing in reality requires more experience and good sense.  It is only those who know how not to let the luck that runs against them slip, who will be able to find things, no matter how long and how far they go in search of them.  [1887.]

People speak as if making the best of what happens is easy, but in truth, nothing requires more experience and common sense. Only those who know how to hold onto the bad luck that comes their way will be able to find what they're looking for, no matter how long or far they have to search for it. [1887.]

Trying to Buy a Bellini

Flushed with triumph in the matter of Rembrandt, a fortnight or so afterwards I was at Christie’s and saw two pictures that fired me.  One was a Madonna and Child by Giovanni Bellini, I do not doubt genuine, not in a very good state, but still not repainted.  The Madonna was lovely, the Child very good, the landscape sweet and Belliniesque.  I was much smitten and determined to bid up to a hundred pounds; I knew this would be dirt cheap and was not going to buy at all unless I could get good value.  I bid up to a hundred guineas, but there was someone else bent on having it and when he bid 105 guineas I let him have it, not without regret.  I saw in the Times that the purchaser’s name was Lesser.

Feeling triumphant after dealing with the Rembrandt, about two weeks later I found myself at Christie’s and came across two paintings that excited me. One was a Madonna and Child by Giovanni Bellini, which I have no doubt was genuine. It wasn't in great condition, but it hadn’t been repainted either. The Madonna was beautiful, the Child was very well done, and the landscape was charming and typical of Bellini's style. I was quite taken with it and decided to bid up to a hundred pounds; I knew that was a steal and I wasn’t going to buy it unless I could get a good deal. I ended up bidding up to a hundred guineas, but someone else was determined to get it, and when he bid 105 guineas, I let him have it, though I regretted it. I later saw in the Times that the buyer was named Lesser.

The other picture I tried to get at the same sale (this day week); it was a small sketch numbered 72 (I think) and purporting to be by Giorgione but, I fully believe, by Titian.  I bid up to £10 and then let it go.  It went for £28, and I should say would have been well bought at £40.  [1887.]

The other piece I tried to get at the same sale (this day last week); it was a small sketch numbered 72 (I think) and claimed to be by Giorgione, but I really believe it was by Titian. I bid up to £10 and then let it go. It ended up selling for £28, and I’d say it would have been a good buy at £40. [1887.]

Watts

I was telling Gogin how I had seen at Christie’s some pictures by Watts and how much I had disliked them.  He said some of them had been exhibited in Paris a few years ago and a friend of his led him up to one of them and said in a serious, puzzled, injured tone:

I was telling Gogin how I had seen some paintings by Watts at Christie’s and how much I had disliked them. He mentioned that some of them had been shown in Paris a few years ago, and a friend of his brought him to one of them and said in a serious, confused, hurt tone:

“Mon cher ami, racontez-moi donc ceci, s’il vous plait,” as though their appearance in such a place at all were something that must have an explanation not obvious upon the face of it.

“Dear friend, please tell me this,” as if their presence in such a place required an explanation that wasn’t immediately clear.

Lombard Portals

The crouching beasts, on whose backs the pillars stand, generally have a little one beneath them or some animal which they have killed, or something, in fact, to give them occupation; it was felt that, though an animal by itself was well, an animal doing something was much better.  The mere fact of companionship and silent sympathy is enough to interest, but without this, sculptured animals are stupid, as our lions in Trafalgar Square—which, among other faults, have that of being much too well done.

The crouching creatures that hold up the pillars usually have a smaller animal underneath them or something they've hunted, or something, really, to keep them busy; it was thought that while an animal on its own is fine, an animal doing something is way better. Just having some company and silent understanding is enough to grab attention, but without that, sculpted animals look dull, like our lions in Trafalgar Square—which, among other issues, suffer from being way too well made.

So Jones’s cat, Prince, picked up a little waif in the court and brought it home, and the two lay together and were much lovelier than Prince was by himself. [153]

So, Jones's cat, Prince, found a little stray in the courtyard and brought it home. The two of them snuggled together and looked much better than Prince did alone. [153]

Holbein at Basle

How well he has done Night in his “Crucifixion”!  Also he has tried to do the Alps, putting them as background to the city, but he has not done them as we should do them now.  I think the tower on the hill behind the city is the tower which we see on leaving Basle on the road for Lucerne, I mean I think Holbein had this tower in his head.

How well he has captured Night in his "Crucifixion"! He also attempted to depict the Alps, positioning them as a backdrop to the city, but he hasn’t portrayed them the way we would today. I believe the tower on the hill behind the city is the same one we see when leaving Basel on the road to Lucerne; I think Holbein had this tower in mind.

Van Eyck

Van Eyck is delightful rather in spite of his high finish than because of it.  De Hooghe finishes as highly as any one need do.  Van Eyck’s finish is saved because up to the last he is essentially impressionist, that is, he keeps a just account of relative importances and keeps them in their true subordination one to another.  The only difference between him and Rembrandt or Velasquez is that these, as a general rule, stay their hand at an earlier stage of impressionism.

Van Eyck is enjoyable more because of his overall approach rather than just his high level of detail. De Hooghe has a similarly high level of detail. Van Eyck’s attention to detail works because, up until the end, he is fundamentally impressionist; he accurately depicts what’s important and maintains their true relationships to each other. The main difference between him and Rembrandt or Velasquez is that, generally speaking, they tend to stop at an earlier stage of impressionism.

Giotto

There are few modern painters who are not greater technically than Giotto, but I cannot call to mind a single one whose work impresses me as profoundly as his does.  How is it that our so greatly better should be so greatly worse—that the farther we go beyond him the higher he stands above us?  Time no doubt has much to do with it, for, great as Giotto was, there are painters of to-day not less so, if they only dared express themselves as frankly and unaffectedly as he did.

There are few modern painters who have better technical skills than Giotto, but I can't think of anyone whose work moves me as much as his does. How is it that those who are so much better can also seem so much worse—that the further we get beyond him, the higher he seems to rise above us? Time definitely plays a role, because, as great as Giotto was, there are contemporary painters just as skilled, if only they would express themselves as openly and naturally as he did.

Early Art

The youth of an art is, like the youth of anything else, its most interesting period.  When it has come to the knowledge of good and evil it is stronger, but we care less about it.

The early days of an art form, like the early days of anything else, are its most captivating phase. Once it understands right from wrong, it becomes more powerful, but we tend to care less about it.

Sincerity

It is not enough that the painter should make the spectator feel what he meant him to feel; he must also make him feel that this feeling was shared by the painter himself bona fide and without affectation.  Of all the lies a painter can tell the worst is saying that he likes what he does not like.  But the poor wretch seldom knows himself; for the art of knowing what gives him pleasure has been so neglected that it has been lost to all but a very few.  The old Italians knew well enough what they liked and were as children in saying it.

It's not enough for the painter to make the viewer feel what he intended; he also needs to show that he genuinely shares that feeling without pretense. Of all the lies a painter can tell, the worst is claiming to like something he actually doesn't. But the unfortunate artist often doesn't even realize this; the skill of knowing what brings him joy has been so overlooked that only a select few still possess it. The old Italian painters knew exactly what they liked and were like children in expressing it.

p. 155X
The Position of a Homo Unius Libri

Trübner and Myself

When I went back to Trübner, after Bogue had failed, I had a talk with him and his partner.  I could see they had lost all faith in my literary prospects.  Trübner told me I was a homo unius libri, meaning Erewhon.  He said I was in a very solitary position.  I replied that I knew I was, but it suited me.  I said:

When I returned to Trübner, after Bogue had let me down, I had a conversation with him and his partner. I could tell they had completely lost faith in my writing future. Trübner told me I was a homo unius libri, referring to Erewhon. He said I was in a pretty isolated situation. I responded that I was aware of that, but it worked for me. I said:

“I pay my way; when I was with you before, I never owed you money; you find me now not owing my publisher money, but my publisher in debt to me; I never owe so much as a tailor’s bill; beyond secured debts, I do not owe £5 in the world and never have” (which is quite true).  “I get my summer’s holiday in Italy every year; I live very quietly and cheaply, but it suits my health and tastes, and I have no acquaintances but those I value.  My friends stick by me.  If I was to get in with these literary and scientific people I should hate them and they me.  I should fritter away my time and my freedom without getting a quid pro quo: as it is, I am free and I give the swells every now and then such a facer as they get from no one else.  Of course I don’t expect to get on in a commercial sense at present, I do not go the right way to work for this; but I am going the right way to secure a lasting reputation and this is what I do care for.  A man cannot have both, he must make up his mind which he means going in for.  I have gone in for posthumous fame and I see no step in my literary career which I do not think calculated to promote my being held in esteem when the heat of passion has subsided.”

“I pay my own way; when I was with you before, I never owed you money; you find me now not owing my publisher money, but my publisher in debt to me; I never owe as much as a tailor’s bill; beyond secured debts, I do not owe £5 in the world and never have” (which is absolutely true). “I get my summer holiday in Italy every year; I live very quietly and cheaply, but it suits my health and tastes, and I have no acquaintances but those I value. My friends stick by me. If I were to get involved with these literary and scientific people, I’d hate them and they’d hate me. I’d waste my time and my freedom without getting anything in return: as it is, I am free and I give the elites every now and then a good wake-up call that they don’t get from anyone else. Of course, I don’t expect to succeed commercially right now; I’m not going about it the right way for that; but I am going the right way to secure a lasting reputation, which is what I care about. A man can’t have both; he must decide which path he wants to pursue. I’ve chosen posthumous fame, and I see no step in my literary career that I don’t believe will help me be regarded with esteem when the heat of passion has cooled.”

Trübner shrugged his shoulders.  He plainly does not believe that I shall succeed in getting a hearing; he thinks the combination of the religious and cultured world too strong for me to stand against.

Trübner shrugged his shoulders. He clearly doesn’t believe that I’ll manage to get a hearing; he thinks the combination of the religious and cultured world is too powerful for me to stand up against.

If he means that the reviewers will burke me as far as they can, no doubt he is right; but when I am dead there will be other reviewers and I have already done enough to secure that they shall from time to time look me up.  They won’t bore me then but they will be just like the present ones.  [1882.]

If he means that the reviewers will do everything they can to criticize me, he’s probably right; but when I’m gone, there will be other reviewers, and I’ve already done enough to ensure that they will occasionally check me out. They won’t bother me then, but they’ll be just like the current ones. [1882.]

Capping a Success

When I had written Erewhon people wanted me at once to set to work and write another book like it.  How could I?  I cannot think how I escaped plunging into writing some laboured stupid book.  I am very glad I did escape.  Nothing is so cruel as to try and force a man beyond his natural pace.  If he has got more stuff in him it will come out in its own time and its own way: if he has not—let the poor wretch alone; to have done one decent book should be enough; the very worst way to get another out of him is to press him.  The more promise a young writer has given, the more his friends should urge him not to over-tax himself.

When I finished writing Erewhon, people immediately wanted me to start working on another book just like it. How could I do that? I can’t believe I avoided diving into writing some laborious, pointless book. I’m really glad I did. Nothing is as harsh as trying to push someone past their natural rhythm. If a person has more to give, it will come out in its own time and way; if not—just leave the poor guy alone. Writing one decent book should be enough; the worst way to get another from someone is to pressure them. The more potential a young writer shows, the more their friends should encourage them not to overextend themselves.

A Lady Critic

A lady, whom I meet frequently in the British Museum reading-room and elsewhere, said to me the other day:

A woman I see often in the British Museum reading room and other places told me the other day:

“Why don’t you write another Erewhon?”

"Why don’t you write another Erewhon?"

“Why, my dear lady,” I replied, “Life and Habit was another Erewhon.”

“Why, my dear lady,” I replied, “Life and Habit was another Erewhon.”

They say these things to me continually to plague me and make out that I could do one good book but never any more.  She is the sort of person who if she had known Shakespeare would have said to him, when he wrote Henry the IVth:

They keep saying these things to bother me and act like I could only write one good book but never any more. She’s the type of person who, if she had known Shakespeare, would have said to him when he wrote Henry the IVth:

“Ah, Mr. Shakespeare, why don’t you write us another Titus Andronicus?  Now that was a sweet play, that was.”

“Hey, Mr. Shakespeare, why don’t you write us another Titus Andronicus? Now that was a great play, for sure.”

And when he had done Antony and Cleopatra she would have told him that her favourite plays were the three parts of King Henry VI.

And when he finished Antony and Cleopatra, she would have told him that her favorite plays were the three parts of King Henry VI.

Compensation

If I die prematurely, at any rate I shall be saved from being bored by my own success.

If I die young, at least I won't have to deal with being bored by my own success.

Hudibras and Erewhon

I was completing the purchase of some small houses at Lewisham and had to sign my name.  The vendor, merely seeing the name and knowing none of my books, said to me, rather rudely, but without meaning any mischief:

I was finalizing the purchase of a few small houses in Lewisham and needed to sign my name. The seller, just seeing my name and not being familiar with any of my books, said to me, somewhat rudely but without any ill intent:

“Have you written any books like Hudibras?”

“Have you written any books like Hudibras?”

I said promptly: “Certainly; Erewhon is quite as good a book as Hudibras.”

I replied quickly, “Of course; Erewhon is just as good a book as Hudibras.”

This was coming it too strong for him, so he thought I had not heard and repeated his question.  I said again as before, and he shut up.  I sent him a copy of Erewhon immediately after we had completed.  It was rather tall talk on my part, I admit, but he should not have challenged me unprovoked.

This was too much for him, so he thought I hadn’t heard and asked his question again. I replied just like before, and he stopped talking. I sent him a copy of Erewhon right after we were done. I admit it was a bit of a stretch on my part, but he shouldn't have challenged me without reason.

Life and Habit and Myself

At the Century Club I was talking with a man who asked me why I did not publish the substance of what I had been saying.  I believed he knew me and said:

At the Century Club, I was chatting with a guy who asked me why I didn't share what I had been saying. I thought he recognized me and replied:

“Well, you know, there’s Life and Habit.”

“Well, you know, there’s Life and Habit.”

He did not seem to rise at all, so I asked him if he had seen the book.

He didn't seem to get up at all, so I asked him if he had seen the book.

“Seen it?” he answered.  “Why, I should think every one has seen Life and Habit: but what’s that got to do with it?”

“Have you seen it?” he replied. “Well, I would assume everyone has read Life and Habit: but what does that have to do with anything?”

I said it had taken me so much time lately that I had had none to spare for anything else.  Again he did not seem to see the force of the remark and a friend, who was close by, said:

I said it had taken me so much time lately that I hadn't had any to spare for anything else. Again, he didn’t seem to grasp the point, and a friend, who was nearby, said:

“You know, Butler wrote Life and Habit.”

“You know, Butler wrote Life and Habit.”

He would not believe it, and it was only after repeated assurance that he accepted it.  It was plain he thought a great deal of Life and Habit and had idealised its author, whom he was disappointed to find so very commonplace a person.  Exactly the same thing happened to me with Erewhon.  I was glad to find that Life and Habit had made so deep an impression at any rate upon one person.

He couldn’t believe it, and it was only after being reassured multiple times that he finally accepted it. It was clear he thought highly of Life and Habit and had idealized its author, who he was let down to discover was such an ordinary person. I had the exact same experience with Erewhon. I was pleased to see that Life and Habit had made such a strong impression on at least one person.

A Disappointing Person

I suspect I am rather a disappointing person, for every now and then there is a fuss and I am to meet some one who would very much like to make my acquaintance, or some one writes me a letter and says he has long admired my books, and may he, etc.?  Of course I say “Yes,” but experience has taught me that it always ends in turning some one who was more or less inclined to run me into one who considers he has a grievance against me for not being a very different kind of person from what I am.  These people however (and this happens on an average once or twice a year) do not come solely to see me, they generally tell me all about themselves and the impression is left upon me that they have really come in order to be praised.  I am as civil to them as I know how to be but enthusiastic I never am, for they have never any of them been nice people, and it is my want of enthusiasm for themselves as much as anything else which disappoints them.  They seldom come again.  Mr. Alfred Tylor was the only acquaintance I have ever made through being sent for to be looked at, or letting some one come to look at me, who turned out a valuable ally; but then he sent for me through mutual friends in the usual way.

I think I might be a bit of a letdown, because every now and then there’s a commotion, and I’m supposed to meet someone who really wants to get to know me, or someone writes me a letter saying they’ve admired my books for a long time and asks if they can, etc.? Of course, I say “Yes,” but experience has shown me that it usually ends with someone who was somewhat interested in me becoming someone who feels they have a reason to be upset with me for not being a completely different person than I actually am. These people, however (and this happens about once or twice a year), don’t come just to see me; they usually share a lot about themselves, and I get the impression they’re really looking to be praised. I am as polite to them as I can be, but I’m never that enthusiastic, because none of them have ever been particularly nice people, and it’s my lack of enthusiasm for them, more than anything else, that disappoints them. They rarely come back. Mr. Alfred Tylor is the only person I’ve ever connected with after being summoned to be seen, or after letting someone come to look at me, who ended up being a valuable ally; but even then, he reached out through mutual friends in the usual way.

Entertaining Angels

I doubt whether any angel would find me very entertaining.  As for myself, if ever I do entertain one it will have to be unawares.  When people entertain others without an introduction they generally turn out more like devils than angels.

I seriously doubt any angel would find me very entertaining. As for me, if I ever do manage to entertain one, it’ll have to be by surprise. When people entertain others without a proper introduction, they usually end up acting more like devils than angels.

Myself and My Books

The balance against them is now over £350.  How completely they must have been squashed unless I had had a little money of my own.  Is it not likely that many a better writer than I am is squashed through want of money?  Whatever I do I must not die poor; these examples of ill-requited labour are immoral, they discourage the effort of those who could and would do good things if they did not know that it would ruin themselves and their families; moreover, they set people on to pamper a dozen fools for each neglected man of merit, out of compunction.  Genius, they say, always wears an invisible cloak; these men wear invisible cloaks—therefore they are geniuses; and it flatters them to think that they can see more than their neighbours.  The neglect of one such man as the author of Hudibras is compensated for by the petting of a dozen others who would be the first to jump upon the author of Hudibras if he were to come back to life.

The balance against them is now over £350. How completely they must have been crushed unless I had a little money of my own. Isn't it likely that many better writers than I am get crushed because they lack money? No matter what I do, I can't die broke; these examples of unappreciated work are unethical, as they discourage those who could and would create great things if they weren't afraid it would ruin themselves and their families. Moreover, they lead people to pamper a dozen fools for every overlooked man of talent, out of guilt. They say genius always wears an invisible cloak; these men wear invisible cloaks—so they are geniuses; and it flatters them to think they can see more than their neighbors. The neglect of someone like the author of Hudibras is made up for by the attention given to a dozen others who would be the first to attack the author of Hudibras if he were to come back to life.

Heaven forbid that I should compare myself to the author of Hudibras, but still, if my books succeed after my death—which they may or may not, I know nothing about it—any way, if they do succeed, let it be understood that they failed during my life for a few very obvious reasons of which I was quite aware, for the effect of which I was prepared before I wrote my books, and which on consideration I found insufficient to deter me.  I attacked people who were at once unscrupulous and powerful, and I made no alliances.  I did this because I did not want to be bored and have my time wasted and my pleasures curtailed.  I had money enough to live on, and preferred addressing myself to posterity rather than to any except a very few of my own contemporaries.  Those few I have always kept well in mind.  I think of them continually when in doubt about any passage, but beyond those few I will not go.  Posterity will give a man a fair hearing; his own times will not do so if he is attacking vested interests, and I have attacked two powerful sets of vested interests at once.  [The Church and Science.]  What is the good of addressing people who will not listen?  I have addressed the next generation and have therefore said many things which want time before they become palatable.  Any man who wishes his work to stand will sacrifice a good deal of his immediate audience for the sake of being attractive to a much larger number of people later on.  He cannot gain this later audience unless he has been fearless and thorough-going, and if he is this he is sure to have to tread on the corns of a great many of those who live at the same time with him, however little he may wish to do so.  He must not expect these people to help him on, nor wonder if, for a time, they succeed in snuffing him out.  It is part of the swim that it should be so.  Only, as one who believes himself to have practised what he preaches, let me assure any one who has money of his own that to write fearlessly for posterity and not get paid for it is much better fun than I can imagine its being to write like, we will say, George Eliot and make a lot of money by it.  [1883.]

Heaven forbid that I should compare myself to the author of Hudibras, but still, if my books succeed after my death—which they may or may not, since I have no way of knowing—let it be clear that they did not succeed during my life for a few very obvious reasons I was fully aware of. I was prepared for the consequences before I wrote my books, and upon reflection, I found those reasons insufficient to stop me. I challenged people who were both unscrupulous and powerful, and I made no alliances. I did this because I didn’t want to be bored or waste my time and I wanted to enjoy my life. I had enough money to live on and preferred to speak to future generations rather than the very few contemporaries I had. Those few have always been in my thoughts. I think of them constantly when in doubt about any passage, but I won’t extend beyond that small group. Future generations will give a person a fair hearing; his own time might not if he goes after entrenched interests, and I've gone after two major entrenched interests at once. [The Church and Science.] What’s the point of speaking to people who won’t listen? I’ve aimed my work at the next generation, which means I’ve said many things that need time to be accepted. Any person who wants their work to endure will sacrifice part of their immediate audience to appeal to a much larger audience later on. He can’t win that later audience unless he is bold and thorough, and by being that way, he will inevitably step on the toes of many people living at the same time, no matter how little he intends to. He shouldn’t expect these people to support him or be surprised if, for a while, they manage to silence him. It’s just how things work. However, as someone who believes he’s practiced what he preaches, let me assure anyone with their own money that writing fearlessly for future generations without getting paid is way more enjoyable than I can imagine it being to write like, say, George Eliot and make a lot of money from it. [1883.]

Dragons

People say that there are neither dragons to be killed nor distressed maidens to be rescued nowadays.  I do not know, but I think I have dropped across one or two, nor do I feel sure whether the most mortal wounds have been inflicted by the dragons or by myself.

People say that there are no dragons to slay or distressed damsels to save these days. I don't know, but I think I've come across a couple, and I'm not sure if the worst damage was done by the dragons or by me.

Trying to Know

There are some things which it is madness not to try to know but which it is almost as much madness to try to know.  Sometimes publishers, hoping to buy the Holy Ghost with a price, fee a man to read for them and advise them.  This is but as the vain tossing of insomnia.  God will not have any human being know what will sell, nor when any one is going to die, nor anything about the ultimate, or even the deeper, springs of growth and action, nor yet such a little thing as whether it is going to rain to-morrow.  I do not say that the impossibility of being certain about these and similar matters was designed, but it is as complete as though it had been not only designed but designed exceedingly well.

There are certain things that it's crazy not to try to understand, but it's equally crazy to think we can fully understand them. Sometimes publishers, wanting to get ahead, pay someone to read for them and give advice. But that's just as pointless as tossing and turning with insomnia. God isn't going to let any human truly know what will sell, when someone is going to die, the ultimate reasons behind growth and actions, or even whether it will rain tomorrow. I'm not saying that the uncertainty about these kinds of things was planned, but it's as absolute as if it had been expertly planned.

Squaring Accounts

We owe past generations not only for the master discoveries of music, science, literature and art—few of which brought profit to those to whom they were revealed—but also for our organism itself which is an inheritance gathered and garnered by those who have gone before us.  What money have we paid not for Handel and Shakespeare only but for our eyes and ears?

We owe past generations not just for their amazing discoveries in music, science, literature, and art—most of which didn't make them any money—but also for our very existence, which is a legacy collected and nurtured by those who came before us. What have we paid not just for Handel and Shakespeare, but for our ability to see and hear?

And so with regard to our contemporaries.  A man is sometimes tempted to exclaim that he does not fare well at the hands of his own generation; that, although he may play pretty assiduously, he is received with more hisses than applause; that the public is hard to please, slow to praise, and bent on driving as hard a bargain as it can.  This, however, is only what he should expect.  No sensible man will suppose himself to be of so much importance that his contemporaries should be at much pains to get at the truth concerning him.  As for my own position, if I say the things I want to say without troubling myself about the public, why should I grumble at the public for not troubling about me?  Besides, not being paid myself, I can in better conscience use the works of others, as I daily do, without paying for them and without being at the trouble of praising or thanking them more than I have a mind to.  And, after all, how can I say I am not paid?  In addition to all that I inherit from past generations I receive from my own everything that makes life worth living—London, with its infinite sources of pleasure and amusement, good theatres, concerts, picture galleries, the British Museum Reading-Room, newspapers, a comfortable dwelling, railways and, above all, the society of the friends I value.

And so, regarding our peers. A person might often feel like shouting that they aren’t treated well by their own generation; that even when they put in a lot of effort, they receive more boos than cheers; that the public is tough to impress, slow to appreciate, and determined to get the best deal possible. However, this is just what one should expect. No reasonable person would think they are so important that their contemporaries would go out of their way to find the truth about them. As for my own situation, if I express what I want to say without worrying about the public, why should I complain about the public not being concerned about me? Plus, since I’m not getting paid, I can more freely use the works of others, as I do every day, without paying for them and without feeling the need to praise or thank them more than I feel like. And really, how can I say I’m not compensated? Beyond everything I inherit from past generations, I gain from my own everything that makes life enjoyable—London, with its endless opportunities for pleasure and entertainment, great theaters, concerts, art galleries, the British Museum Reading Room, newspapers, a comfortable home, trains, and above all, the company of the friends I cherish.

Charles Darwin on what Sells a Book

I remember when I was at Down we were talking of what it is that sells a book.  Mr. Darwin said he did not believe it was reviews or advertisements, but simply “being talked about” that sold a book.

I remember when I was at Down, we were discussing what actually sells a book. Mr. Darwin said he didn’t think it was reviews or ads, but simply “being talked about” that sells a book.

I believe he is quite right here, but surely a good flaming review helps to get a book talked about.  I have often inquired at my publishers’ after a review and I never found one that made any perceptible increase or decrease of sale, and the same with advertisements.  I think, however, that the review of Erewhon in the Spectator did sell a few copies of Erewhon, but then it was such a very strong one and the anonymousness of the book stimulated curiosity.  A perception of the value of a review, whether friendly or hostile, is as old as St. Paul’s Epistle to the Philippians. [162]

I think he’s definitely right about this, but a good, fiery review definitely helps get a book noticed. I've often asked my publishers about the impact of reviews, and I’ve never found one that noticeably increased or decreased sales, and it’s the same with ads. However, I do think that the review of Erewhon in the Spectator sold a few copies of Erewhon because it was such a strong review, and the anonymity of the author sparked curiosity. The idea of the value of a review, whether it’s positive or negative, goes back as far as St. Paul’s letter to the Philippians. [162]

Hoodwinking the Public

Sincerity or honesty is a low and very rudimentary form of virtue that is only to be found to any considerable extent among the protozoa.  Compare, for example, the integrity, sincerity and absolute refusal either to deceive or be deceived that exists in the germ-cells of any individual, with the instinctive aptitude for lying that is to be observed in the full-grown man.  The full-grown man is compacted of lies and shams which are to him as the breath of his nostrils.  Whereas the germ-cells will not be humbugged; they will tell the truth as near as they can.  They know their ancestors meant well and will tend to become even more sincere themselves.

Sincerity or honesty is a basic and very primitive form of virtue that's mostly found among simple life forms. Take, for instance, the integrity, sincerity, and complete refusal to either deceive or be deceived that exists in the germ cells of any individual, and compare that to the instinctive tendency to lie seen in fully grown adults. An adult is made up of lies and pretenses, which are as essential to him as breathing. On the other hand, germ cells won't be fooled; they will communicate the truth as accurately as they can. They realize their ancestors had good intentions and will likely become even more sincere themselves.

Thus, if a painter has not tried hard to paint well and has tried hard to hoodwink the public, his offspring is not likely to show hereditary aptitude for painting, but is likely to have an improved power of hoodwinking the public.  So it is with music, literature, science or anything else.  The only thing the public can do against this is to try hard to develop a hereditary power of not being hoodwinked.  From the small success it has met with hitherto we may think that the effort on its part can have been neither severe nor long sustained.  Indeed, all ages seem to have held that “the pleasure is as great of being cheated as to cheat.”

So, if a painter hasn’t put in the effort to paint well and has focused instead on deceiving the public, their children are unlikely to inherit talent in painting but will probably be better at tricking people. The same goes for music, literature, science, or anything else. The only way the public can combat this is by working hard to develop a natural resistance to being fooled. Given the limited success they’ve had so far, it seems their efforts haven’t been very strong or sustained. In fact, throughout history, people have believed that “the pleasure is just as great in being cheated as it is to cheat.”

The Public Ear

Those who have squatted upon it may be trusted to keep off other squatters if they can.  The public ear is like the land which looks infinite but is all parcelled out into fields and private ownerships—barring, of course, highways and commons.  So the universe, which looks so big, may be supposed as really all parcelled out among the stars that stud it.

Those who have settled on it can be counted on to protect it from other squatters if they can. The public's attention is like land that seems endless but is actually divided into fields and private properties—except for public roads and common areas. Similarly, the universe, which appears vast, can be thought of as actually divided among the stars that fill it.

Or the public ear is like a common; there is not much to be got off it, but that little is for the most part grazed down by geese and donkeys.

Or the public ear is like a public park; there isn't much to be gained from it, but what little there is often gets chewed up by geese and donkeys.

Those who wish to gain the public ear should bear in mind that people do not generally want to be made less foolish or less wicked.  What they want is to be told that they are not foolish and not wicked.  Now it is only a fool or a liar or both who can tell them this; the masses therefore cannot be expected to like any but fools or liars or both.  So when a lady gets photographed, what she wants is not to be made beautiful but to be told that she is beautiful.

Those who want to get the attention of the public should remember that people usually don’t want to be told they are foolish or wicked. What they want is to be reassured that they are neither foolish nor wicked. Only a fool, a liar, or both can say this to them; so, it’s no surprise that the masses tend to prefer fools or liars or both. Similarly, when a woman gets her picture taken, she’s not looking to actually be made beautiful, but to be told that she is beautiful.

Secular Thinking

The ages do their thinking much as the individual does.  When considering a difficult question, we think alternately for several seconds together of details, even the minutest seeming important, and then of broad general principles, whereupon even large details become unimportant; again we have bouts during which rules, logic and technicalities engross us, followed by others in which the unwritten and unwritable common sense of grace defies and over-rides the law.  That is to say, we have our inductive fits and our deductive fits, our arrangements according to the letter and according to the spirit, our conclusions drawn from logic secundum artem and from absurdity and the character of the arguer.  This heterogeneous mass of considerations forms the mental pabulum with which we feed our minds.  How that pabulum becomes amalgamated, reduced to uniformity and turned into the growth of complete opinion we can no more tell than we can say when, how and where food becomes flesh and blood.  All we can say is that the miracle, stupendous as it is and involving the stultification of every intelligible principle on which thought and action are based, is nevertheless worked a thousand times an hour by every one of us.

The ages think much like individuals do. When faced with a difficult question, we spend a few seconds toggling between details, even the tiniest ones that seem important, and broader general principles, causing even significant details to fade in importance. Sometimes, we focus intensely on rules, logic, and technicalities, only to shift to moments where the unwritten and unexplainable common sense of grace overrides the law. In other words, we have our moments of inductive reasoning and deductive reasoning, our arrangements by the letter of the law and by its spirit, our conclusions based on logic secundum artem as well as those drawn from absurdity and the character of the arguer. This jumbled mix of considerations provides the mental fuel we use to think. How this fuel gets combined, simplified, and transformed into the solid growth of complete opinion is just as mysterious as understanding when, how, and where food turns into flesh and blood. All we can say is that this miracle, as astonishing as it is and involving the contradiction of every clear principle that underpins thought and action, happens a thousand times an hour for each of us.

The formation of public opinion is as mysterious as that of individual, but, so far as we can form any opinion about that which forms our opinions in such large measure, the processes appear to resemble one another much as rain drops resemble one another.  There is essential agreement in spite of essential difference.  So that here, as everywhere else, we no sooner scratch the soil than we come upon the granite of contradiction in terms and can scratch no further.

The way public opinion is formed is just as mysterious as how individual opinions develop. However, when we try to understand what shapes our opinions so significantly, the processes seem to be quite similar, much like how raindrops look alike. There’s a fundamental agreement despite key differences. Therefore, in this case, as in many others, as soon as we dig a little deeper, we hit the hard rock of contradiction and can’t dig any further.

As for ourselves, we are passing through an inductive, technical, speculative period and have gone such lengths in this direction that a reaction, during which we shall pass to the other extreme, may be confidently predicted.

As for us, we are going through a time that's focused on gathering information, technical analysis, and speculation, and we've progressed so far in this direction that we can confidently expect a reaction where we'll swing to the complete opposite side.

The Art of Propagating Opinion

He who would propagate an opinion must begin by making sure of his ground and holding it firmly.  There is as little use in trying to breed from weak opinion as from other weak stock, animal or vegetable.

He who wants to spread an opinion must start by securing his position and holding it firmly. There's just as little point in trying to nurture weak opinions as there is with other weak stock, whether animal or plant.

The more securely a man holds an opinion, the more temperate he can afford to be, and the more temperate he is, the more weight he will carry with those who are in the long run weightiest.  Ideas and opinions, like living organisms, have a normal rate of growth which cannot be either checked or forced beyond a certain point.  They can be held in check more safely than they can be hurried.  They can also be killed; and one of the surest ways to kill them is to try to hurry them.

The more confidently someone holds an opinion, the more calm they can be, and the calmer they are, the more influence they'll have with those who matter most over time. Ideas and opinions, like living things, have a natural growth rate that can't be restricted or forced beyond a certain limit. It's easier to keep them in check than to rush them. They can also be destroyed; one of the most effective ways to do that is to try to rush them.

The more unpopular an opinion is, the more necessary is it that the holder should be somewhat punctilious in his observance of conventionalities generally, and that, if possible, he should get the reputation of being well-to-do in the world.

The more unpopular an opinion is, the more important it is for the person holding it to be careful about following social norms, and if possible, to be seen as successful in life.

Arguments are not so good as assertion.  Arguments are like fire-arms which a man may keep at home but should not carry about with him.  Indirect assertion, leaving the hearer to point the inference, is, as a rule, to be preferred.  The one great argument with most people is that another should think this or that.  The reasons of the belief are details and, in nine cases out of ten, best omitted as confusing and weakening the general impression.

Arguments aren't as effective as simply stating something. Arguments are like weapons that someone can have at home but shouldn't take with them everywhere. It's usually better to make indirect statements, allowing the listener to draw their own conclusions. For most people, the main argument is about what others should think. The reasons behind the belief are just details and, in nine out of ten cases, it's better to leave them out because they can confuse and dilute the overall message.

Many, if not most, good ideas die young—mainly from neglect on the part of the parents, but sometimes from over-fondness.  Once well started, an opinion had better be left to shift for itself.

Many, if not most, good ideas fail early—mostly due to neglect from their creators, but sometimes from excessive attachment. Once an opinion is well-established, it’s better to let it manage on its own.

Insist as far as possible on the insignificance of the points of difference as compared with the resemblances to opinions generally accepted.

Insist as much as you can on how unimportant the differences are when compared to the similarities with commonly accepted opinions.

Gladstone as a Financier

I said to my tobacconist that Gladstone was not a financier because he bought a lot of china at high prices and it fetched very little when it was sold at Christie’s.

I told my tobacconist that Gladstone wasn't a financier because he bought a lot of china at high prices, but it sold for very little at Christie’s.

“Did he give high prices?” said the tobacconist.

“Did he charge high prices?” asked the tobacconist.

“Enormous prices,” said I emphatically.

"Crazy prices," I said emphatically.

Now, to tell the truth, I did not know whether Mr. Gladstone had ever bought the china at all, much less what he gave for it, if he did; he may have had it all left him for aught I knew.  But I was going to appeal to my tobacconist by arguments that he could understand, and I could see he was much impressed.

Now, to be honest, I had no idea whether Mr. Gladstone had ever bought the china at all, let alone what he paid for it, if he did; he might have inherited it for all I knew. But I was going to convince my tobacconist with reasons he could grasp, and I could tell he was quite impressed.

Argument

Argument is generally waste of time and trouble.  It is better to present one’s opinion and leave it to stick or no as it may happen.  If sound, it will probably in the end stick, and the sticking is the main thing.

Argument is usually a waste of time and effort. It's better to share your opinion and let it stand on its own, whether it resonates or not. If it's valid, it will likely stick over time, and that's what matters most.

Humour

What a frightful thing it would be if true humour were more common or, rather, more easy to see, for it is more common than those are who can see it.  It would block the way of everything.  Perhaps this is what people rather feel.  It would be like Music in the Ode for St. Cecilia’s Day, it would “untune the sky.”

What a scary thing it would be if true humor were more common or, rather, easier to notice, because it’s actually more common than those who can recognize it. It would get in the way of everything. Maybe this is how people actually feel. It would be like the music in the Ode for St. Cecilia’s Day, it would “untune the sky.”

I do not know quite what is meant by untuning the sky and, if I did, I cannot think that there is anything to be particularly gained by having the sky untuned; still, if it has got to be untuned at all, I am sure music is the only thing that can untune it.  Rapson, however, whom I used to see in the coin room at the British Museum, told me it should be “entune the sky” and it sounds as though he were right.

I’m not exactly sure what “untuning the sky” means, and even if I did, I can’t see what benefit there could be in doing it; still, if it has to be done, I’m convinced that music is the only thing that can accomplish it. However, Rapson, who I used to see in the coin room at the British Museum, told me it should be “entune the sky,” and that sounds like he might be right.

Myself and “Unconscious Humour”

The phrase “unconscious humour” is the one contribution I have made to the current literature of the day.  I am continually seeing unconscious humour (without quotation marks) alluded to in Times articles and other like places, but I never remember to have come across it as a synonym for dullness till I wrote Life and Habit.

The term "unconscious humor" is the only contribution I've made to today's literature. I keep noticing unconscious humor (without quotation marks) referenced in Times articles and similar publications, but I don't recall ever seeing it used as a synonym for dullness until I wrote Life and Habit.

My Humour

The thing to say about me just now is that my humour is forced.  This began to reach me in connection with my article “Quis Desiderio . . .?”  [Universal Review, 1888] and is now, [1889] I understand, pretty generally perceived even by those who had not found it out for themselves.

The thing to mention about me right now is that my humor is forced. This started coming to my attention with my article “Quis Desiderio . . .?” [Universal Review, 1888] and is now, [1889] I see, pretty widely recognized even by those who hadn't figured it out on their own.

I am not aware of forcing myself to say anything which has not amused me, which is not apposite and which I do not believe will amuse a neutral reader, but I may very well do so without knowing it.  As for my humour, I am like my father and grandfather, both of whom liked a good thing heartily enough if it was told them, but I do not often say a good thing myself.  Very likely my humour, what little there is of it, is forced enough.  I do not care so long as it amuses me and, such as it is, I shall vent it in my own way and at my own time.

I’m not aware of forcing myself to say anything that hasn’t made me laugh, isn’t relevant, and that I don’t think will entertain a neutral reader, but I might be doing that without realizing it. When it comes to my sense of humor, I’m like my father and grandfather, both of whom really appreciated a good joke when it was told to them, but I don’t often come up with one myself. It’s very likely that my humor, whatever little there is, comes off as forced. I don’t mind as long as it makes me laugh, and in whatever form it takes, I’ll share it in my own way and at my own pace.

Myself and My Publishers

I see my publishers are bringing out a new magazine with all the usual contributors.  Of course they don’t ask me to write and this shows that they do not think my name would help their magazine.  This, I imagine, means that Andrew Lang has told them that my humour is forced.  I should not myself say that Andrew Lang’s humour would lose by a little forcing.

I see my publishers are launching a new magazine with all the usual contributors. Of course, they didn’t ask me to write, which shows they don’t think my name would add any value to their magazine. This probably means Andrew Lang has told them that my humor feels forced. I wouldn't say that Andrew Lang’s humor wouldn’t benefit from a bit of forcing.

I have seen enough of my publishers to know that they have no ideas of their own about literature save what they can clutch at as believing it to be a straight tip from a business point of view.  Heaven forbid that I should blame them for doing exactly what I should do myself in their place, but, things being as they are, they are no use to me.  They have no confidence in me and they must have this or they will do nothing for me beyond keeping my books on their shelves.

I’ve seen enough of my publishers to realize that they don’t have any original thoughts about literature other than what they see as a good business move. I can’t blame them for acting the way I would if I were in their position, but the situation is what it is, and they are no help to me. They don’t trust me, and without that trust, they won’t do anything for me beyond just keeping my books on their shelves.

Perhaps it is better that I should not have a chance of becoming a hack-writer, for I should grasp it at once if it were offered me.

Perhaps it's better that I don't get the chance to become a hack writer, because I would jump at it immediately if it were offered to me.

p. 168XI
Cash and Credit

The Unseen World

I believe there is an unseen world about which we know nothing as firmly as any one can believe it.  I see things coming up from it into the visible world and going down again from the seen world to the unseen.  But my unseen world is to be bona fide unseen and, in so far as I say I know anything about it, I stultify myself.  It should no more be described than God should be represented in painting or sculpture.  It is as the other side of the moon; we know it must be there but we know also that, in the nature of things, we can never see it.  Sometimes, some trifle of it may sway into sight and out again, but it is so little that it is not worth counting as having been seen.

I believe there’s an invisible world that we know nothing about as firmly as anyone can believe it. I notice things emerging from it into the visible world and disappearing back from what we see to the unseen. But my unseen world must remain genuinely unseen, and to the extent that I claim to know anything about it, I contradict myself. It shouldn’t be described any more than God should be depicted in art or sculpture. It’s like the far side of the moon; we know it’s there, but we also know that, by nature, we can never see it. Occasionally, a tiny part of it might come into view and then vanish again, but it’s so insignificant that it’s not worth considering as having been seen.

The Kingdom of Heaven

The world admits that there is another world, that there is a kingdom, veritable and worth having, which, nevertheless, is invisible and has nothing to do with any kingdom such as we now see.  It agrees that the wisdom of this other kingdom is foolishness here on earth, while the wisdom of the world is foolishness in the Kingdom of Heaven.  In our hearts we know that the Kingdom of Heaven is the higher of the two and the better worth living and dying for, and that, if it is to be won, it must be sought steadfastly and in singleness of heart by those who put all else on one side and, shrinking from no sacrifice, are ready to face shame, poverty and torture here rather than abandon the hope of the prize of their high calling.  Nobody who doubts any of this is worth talking with.

The world acknowledges that there’s another realm, a true kingdom that’s desirable, yet it remains unseen and is not like any kingdom we currently know. It concedes that the wisdom of this other kingdom seems foolish here on earth, while what the world considers wisdom is foolishness in the Kingdom of Heaven. Deep down, we understand that the Kingdom of Heaven is the superior choice and is truly worth living and dying for. If we’re to attain it, we must pursue it wholeheartedly and with a single focus, setting aside everything else, and without shying away from any sacrifices, ready to endure shame, poverty, and suffering here instead of giving up the hope of achieving our noble purpose. Anyone who questions this isn’t worth engaging with.

The question is, where is this Heavenly Kingdom, and what way are we to take to find it?  Happily the answer is easy, for we are not likely to go wrong if in all simplicity, humility and good faith we heartily desire to find it and follow the dictates of ordinary common-sense.

The question is, where is this Heavenly Kingdom, and what path should we take to find it? Luckily, the answer is straightforward, because we’re unlikely to go astray if, with all simplicity, humility, and good faith, we genuinely want to find it and follow the guidance of common sense.

The Philosopher

He should have made many mistakes and been saved often by the skin of his teeth, for the skin of one’s teeth is the most teaching thing about one.  He should have been, or at any rate believed himself, a great fool and a great criminal.  He should have cut himself adrift from society, and yet not be without society.  He should have given up all, even Christ himself, for Christ’s sake.  He should be above fear or love or hate, and yet know them extremely well.  He should have lost all save a small competence and know what a vantage ground it is to be an outcast.  Destruction and Death say they have heard the fame of Wisdom with their ears, and the philosopher must have been close up to these if he too would hear it.

He should have made a lot of mistakes and often been saved just barely, because barely escaping is the most revealing thing about someone. He should have seen himself, or at least believed he was, a huge fool and a terrible criminal. He should have disconnected from society, yet still not been completely alone. He should have given up everything, even Christ himself, for the sake of Christ. He should be beyond fear, love, or hate, yet be very familiar with all of them. He should have lost everything except a small amount of stability and understand how advantageous it is to be an outcast. Destruction and Death say they’ve heard the praise of Wisdom, and the philosopher must be close to these forces if he wishes to hear it too.

The Artist and the Shopkeeper

Most artists, whether in religion, music, literature, painting, or what not, are shopkeepers in disguise.  They hide their shop as much as they can, and keep pretending that it does not exist, but they are essentially shopkeepers and nothing else.  Why do I try to sell my books and feel regret at never seeing them pay their expenses if I am not a shopkeeper?  Of course I am, only I keep a bad shop—a shop that does not pay.

Most artists, whether in religion, music, literature, painting, or anything else, are basically shopkeepers in disguise. They try to hide their shop as much as possible and keep pretending it doesn’t exist, but deep down, they are just shopkeepers and nothing more. Why do I try to sell my books and feel frustrated about never seeing them cover their costs if I’m not a shopkeeper? Of course I am; I just run a failing shop—a shop that doesn’t make any money.

In like manner, the professed shopkeeper has generally a taint of the artist somewhere about him which he tries to conceal as much as the professed artist tries to conceal his shopkeeping.

In the same way, the self-proclaimed shopkeeper usually has a hint of the artist in him that he tries to hide, just like the self-proclaimed artist tries to hide his shopkeeping.

The business man and the artist are like matter and mind.  We can never get either pure and without some alloy of the other.

The businessman and the artist are like body and soul. We can never have one without some influence from the other.

Art and Trade

People confound literature and article-dealing because the plant in both cases is similar, but no two things can be more distinct.  Neither the question of money nor that of friend or foe can enter into literature proper.  Here, right feeling—or good taste, if this expression be preferred—is alone considered.  If a bona fide writer thinks a thing wants saying, he will say it as tersely, clearly and elegantly as he can.  The question whether it will do him personally good or harm, or how it will affect this or that friend, never enters his head, or, if it does, it is instantly ordered out again.  The only personal gratifications allowed him (apart, of course, from such as are conceded to every one, writer or no) are those of keeping his good name spotless among those whose opinion is alone worth having and of maintaining the highest traditions of a noble calling.  If a man lives in fear and trembling lest he should fail in these respects, if he finds these considerations alone weigh with him, if he never writes without thinking how he shall best serve good causes and damage bad ones, then he is a genuine man of letters.  If in addition to this he succeeds in making his manner attractive, he will become a classic.  He knows this.  He knows, although the Greeks in their mythology forgot to say so, that Conceit was saved to mankind as well as Hope when Pandora clapped the lid on to her box.

People confuse literature with writing articles because the process in both cases is similar, but they are actually very different. Neither money nor the opinions of friends or enemies matter in true literature. Here, only genuine feeling—or good taste, if you prefer that term—is taken into account. If a genuine writer believes something needs to be expressed, they will say it as clearly, concisely, and beautifully as possible. The question of whether it will benefit or harm them personally, or how it will affect any friends, never crosses their mind, or if it does, it's quickly pushed aside. The only personal rewards they are allowed (aside from those granted to everyone, writer or not) are the satisfaction of keeping their reputation untarnished among those whose opinions truly matter and upholding the highest standards of a noble profession. If a person worries constantly about failing in these ways, if these thoughts are their main concern, if they never write without considering how they can best support good causes and undermine bad ones, then they are a true man of letters. If they also manage to make their style appealing, they will become a classic. They understand this. They know, even though the Greeks in their mythology overlooked it, that when Pandora sealed her box, both Hope and Conceit were left for humanity.

With the article-dealer, on the other hand, money is, and ought to be, the first consideration.  Literature is an art; article-writing, when a man is paid for it, is a trade and none the worse for that; but pot-boilers are one thing and genuine pictures are another.  People have indeed been paid for some of the most genuine pictures ever painted, and so with music, and so with literature itself—hard-and-fast lines ever cut the fingers of those who draw them—but, as a general rule, most lasting art has been poorly paid, so far as money goes, till the artist was near the end of his time, and, whether money passed or no, we may be sure that it was not thought of.  Such work is done as a bird sings—for the love of the thing; it is persevered in as long as body and soul can be kept together, whether there be pay or no, and perhaps better if there be no pay.

With the article-writer, on the other hand, money is, and should be, the main focus. Literature is an art; article-writing, when someone is paid for it, is a trade, and that’s perfectly fine; but quick jobs are one thing and genuine works are another. People have certainly been paid for some of the most authentic works ever created, and the same goes for music and literature itself—rigid distinctions often hurt those who try to make them—but generally speaking, most lasting art hasn’t paid well, at least financially, until the artist was nearing the end of their life, and whether money was exchanged or not, it’s clear that it wasn’t what motivated them. Such work is done like a bird sings—for the love of it; it’s pursued as long as body and soul can stay together, regardless of payment, and perhaps even better if there’s no payment involved.

Nevertheless, though art disregards money and trade disregards art, the artist may stand not a little trade-alloy and be even toughened by it, and the tradesmen may be more than half an artist.  Art is in the world but not of it; it lives in a kingdom of its own, governed by laws that none but artists can understand.  This, at least, is the ideal towards which an artist tends, though we all very well know we none of us reach it.  With the trade it is exactly the reverse; this world is, and ought to be, everything, and the invisible world is as little to the trade as this visible world is to the artist.

Nevertheless, while art ignores money and trade ignores art, an artist can be significantly influenced by trade and even hardened by it, and tradespeople can be more than just a little bit artistic. Art exists in the world but is not defined by it; it thrives in its own realm, ruled by laws that only artists can truly grasp. This is, at least, the ideal that every artist strives for, even though we all know that none of us fully attain it. In contrast, for tradespeople, this world is everything, and the unseen world means very little to trade, just as the visible world means little to the artist.

When I say the artist tends towards such a world, I mean not that he tends consciously and reasoningly but that his instinct to take this direction will be too strong to let him take any other.  He is incapable of reasoning on the subject; if he could reason he would be lost qua artist; for, by every test that reason can apply, those who sell themselves for a price are in the right.  The artist is guided by a faith that for him transcends all reason.  Granted that this faith has been in great measure founded on reason, that it has grown up along with reason, that if it lose touch with reason it is no longer faith but madness; granted, again, that reason is in great measure founded on faith, that it has grown up along with faith, that if it lose touch with faith it is no longer reason but mechanism; granted, therefore, that faith grows with reason as will with power, as demand with supply, as mind with body, each stimulating and augmenting the other until an invisible, minute nucleus attains colossal growth—nevertheless the difference between the man of the world and the man who lives by faith is that the first is drawn towards the one and the second towards the other of two principles which, so far as we can see, are co-extensive and co-equal in importance.

When I say the artist is drawn to such a world, I don’t mean he does so consciously or logically, but rather that his instinct to go in this direction is too strong for him to consider any other. He can’t reason about it; if he could, he would be lost as an artist, because by any rational standard, those who sell themselves for a price are justified. The artist is guided by a belief that goes beyond reason for him. It’s true that this belief is largely based on reason, that it has developed alongside reason, and that if it loses touch with reason, it becomes not belief but madness; it’s also true that reason is largely based on belief, that it has developed alongside belief, and that if it loses touch with belief, it becomes not reason but a mere mechanism. So, belief grows with reason similarly to how desire grows with power, demand grows with supply, and mind grows with body, each one stimulating and enhancing the other until an invisible, tiny core grows into something massive. Nevertheless, the key difference between the worldly person and the one who lives by faith is that the former is pulled toward one principle while the latter is attracted to the other of two principles that, as far as we can see, are equally significant and intertwined.

Money

It is curious that money, which is the most valuable thing in life, exceptis excipiendis, should be the most fatal corrupter of music, literature, painting and all the arts.  As soon as any art is pursued with a view to money, then farewell, in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred, all hope of genuine good work.  If a man has money at his back, he may touch these things and do something which will live a long while, and he may be very happy in doing it; if he has no money, he may do good work, but the chances are he will be killed in doing it and for having done it; or he may make himself happy by doing bad work and getting money out of it, and there is no great harm in this, provided he knows his work is done in this spirit and rates it for its commercial value only.  Still, as a rule, a man should not touch any of the arts as a creator unless be has a discreta posizionina behind him.

It's interesting that money, which is the most valuable thing in life, exceptis excipiendis, can also be the biggest corruptor of music, literature, painting, and all the arts. Once any art is pursued primarily for money, it's usually goodbye to any hope of genuinely good work—99 times out of 100. If someone has money supporting them, they might engage with these art forms and create something that lasts a long time, and they may find happiness in that. If they don’t have money, they might produce good work, but there's a strong chance they’ll suffer for it or even die because of it; alternatively, they might find happiness in creating bad work and earning money from it, which isn’t too harmful as long as they understand that they're doing it for its commercial value. Generally, though, a person shouldn’t engage in the arts as a creator unless they have a discreta posizionina backing them.

Modern Simony

It is not the dealing in livings but the thinking they can buy the Holy Ghost for money which vulgar rich people indulge in when they dabble in literature, music and painting.

It’s not about profiting from church positions but the belief that they can purchase the Holy Spirit with money, which common wealthy people engage in when they get involved in literature, music, and art.

Nevertheless, on reflection it must be admitted that the Holy Ghost is very hard to come by without money.  For the Holy Ghost is only another term for the Fear of the Lord, which is Wisdom.  And though Wisdom cannot be gotten for gold, still less can it be gotten without it.  Gold, or the value that is equivalent to gold, lies at the root of Wisdom, and enters so largely into the very essence of the Holy Ghost that “No gold, no Holy Ghost” may pass as an axiom.  This is perhaps why it is not easy to buy Wisdom by whatever name it be called—I mean, because it is almost impossible to sell it.  It is a very unmarketable commodity, as those who have received it truly know to their own great bane and boon.

Nevertheless, upon reflection, it must be acknowledged that the Holy Spirit is really hard to find without money. For the Holy Spirit is just another way of referring to the Fear of the Lord, which is Wisdom. And while you can't buy Wisdom with gold, you certainly can't get it without it. Gold, or something that holds the same value, is fundamental to Wisdom and is so integral to the very nature of the Holy Spirit that "No gold, no Holy Spirit" can be seen as a truth. Perhaps this is why it's difficult to purchase Wisdom, no matter what you call it—because selling it is nearly impossible. It’s a very hard-to-sell commodity, as those who have truly received it know all too well, both to their advantage and disadvantage.

My Grandfather and Myself

My grandfather worked very hard all his life, and was making money all the time until he became a bishop.  I have worked very hard all my life, but have never been able to earn money.  As usefulness is generally counted, no one can be more useless.  This I believe to be largely due to the public-school and university teaching through which my grandfather made his money.  Yes, but then if he is largely responsible for that which has made me useless, has he not also left me the hardly-won money which makes my uselessness sufficiently agreeable to myself?  And would not the poor old gentleman gladly change lots with me, if he could?

My grandfather worked very hard his entire life and earned money consistently until he became a bishop. I've worked really hard all my life too, but I've never been able to make money. By the standards of usefulness, I couldn't be more useless. I think this is mostly because of the public school and university education that helped my grandfather earn his money. But then, if he is largely responsible for what has made me useless, hasn't he also left me the hard-earned money that makes my uselessness somewhat enjoyable for me? And wouldn't the poor old man happily switch places with me if he could?

I do not know; but I should be sorry to change lots with him or with any one else, so I need not grumble.  I said in Luck or Cunning? that the only way (at least I think I said so) in which a teacher can thoroughly imbue an unwilling learner with his own opinions is for the teacher to eat the pupil up and thus assimilate him—if he can, for it is possible that the pupil may continue to disagree with the teacher.  And as a matter of fact, school-masters do live upon their pupils, and I, as my grandfather’s grandson, continue to batten upon old pupil.

I don’t know, but I would feel bad about switching places with him or anyone else, so I guess I shouldn’t complain. I mentioned in Luck or Cunning? that the only way (at least I think I mentioned) for a teacher to fully instill his own views in an unwilling student is to completely absorb the student—if that's even possible, since the student might still disagree with the teacher. In reality, teachers do rely on their students, and I, as my grandfather’s grandson, continue to thrive on the old student.

Art and Usefulness

Tedder, the Librarian of the Athenæum, said to me when I told him (I have only seen him twice) what poor success my books had met with:

Tedder, the Librarian of the Athenæum, told me when I mentioned to him (I’ve only seen him twice) how poorly my books had done:

“Yes, but you have made the great mistake of being useful.”

“Yes, but you've made the big mistake of being useful.”

This, for the moment, displeased me, for I know that I have always tried to make my work useful and should not care about doing it at all unless I believed it to subserve use more or less directly.  Yet when I look at those works which we all hold to be the crowning glories of the world as, for example, the Iliad, the Odyssey, Hamlet, the Messiah, Rembrandt’s portraits, or Holbein’s, or Giovanni Bellini’s, the connection between them and use is, to say the least of it, far from obvious.  Music, indeed, can hardly be tortured into being useful at all, unless to drown the cries of the wounded in battle, or to enable people to talk more freely at evening parties.  The uses, again, of painting in its highest forms are very doubtful—I mean in any material sense; in its lower forms, when it becomes more diagrammatic, it is materially useful.  Literature may be useful from its lowest forms to nearly its highest, but the highest cannot be put in harness to any but spiritual uses; and the fact remains that the “Hallelujah Chorus,” the speech of Hamlet to the players, Bellini’s “Doge” have their only uses in a spiritual world whereto the word “uses” is as alien as bodily flesh is to a choir of angels.  As it is fatal to the highest art that it should have been done for money, so it seems hardly less fatal that it should be done with a view to those uses that tend towards money.

This, for now, bothered me because I know I've always tried to make my work meaningful and wouldn't care about doing it at all unless I believed it served a purpose, even if indirectly. Yet, when I consider those works that we all view as the greatest achievements in the world, like the Iliad, the Odyssey, Hamlet, the Messiah, Rembrandt’s portraits, Holbein’s, or Giovanni Bellini’s, the link between them and usefulness is, to put it mildly, far from clear. Music, in fact, can hardly be justified as useful at all, except maybe to cover the cries of the injured in battle or help people socialize at evening gatherings. The practical uses of painting in its highest forms are quite questionable — I mean in any tangible sense; in its simpler forms, when it becomes more illustrative, it has practical value. Literature can be useful from its most basic forms to nearly its highest, but the very best can only be connected to spiritual purposes; and the truth is that the “Hallelujah Chorus,” Hamlet’s speech to the players, and Bellini’s “Doge” have their only value in a spiritual realm where the word “uses” is as foreign as physical flesh is to a choir of angels. Just as it is detrimental for the highest art to have been created for money, it seems equally detrimental for it to be produced with the intent of those purposes that lead toward money.

And yet, was not the Iliad written mainly with a view to money?  Did not Shakespeare make money by his plays, Handel by his music, and the noblest painters by their art?  True; but in all these cases, I take it, love of fame and that most potent and, at the same time, unpractical form of it, the lust after fame beyond the grave, was the mainspring of the action, the money being but a concomitant accident.  Money is like the wind that bloweth whithersoever it listeth, sometimes it chooses to attach itself to high feats of literature and art and music, but more commonly it prefers lower company . . .

And yet, wasn’t the Iliad mainly written for money? Didn’t Shakespeare earn money from his plays, Handel from his music, and the greatest painters from their art? True; but in all these cases, I believe the desire for fame, and that strong yet impractical desire for fame after death, was the main driving force behind their actions, with money being just an incidental bonus. Money is like the wind that blows wherever it wants; sometimes it chooses to stick to great works of literature, art, and music, but more often it prefers to hang out with lesser things . . .

I can continue this note no further, for there is no end to it.  Briefly, the world resolves itself into two great classes—those who hold that honour after death is better worth having than any honour a man can get and know anything about, and those who doubt this; to my mind, those who hold it, and hold it firmly, are the only people worth thinking about.  They will also hold that, important as the physical world obviously is, the spiritual world, of which we know little beyond its bare existence, is more important still.

I can't keep writing this note any longer because it just goes on forever. Basically, the world divides into two main groups—those who believe that honor after death is worth more than any honor a person can achieve and understand, and those who question this. In my view, the people who firmly believe in this idea are the only ones worth considering. They also believe that while the physical world is clearly important, the spiritual world, which we know very little about beyond its mere existence, is even more significant.

Genius

i

Genius is akin both to madness and inspiration and, as every one is both more or less inspired and more or less mad, every one has more or less genius.  When, therefore, we speak of genius we do not mean an absolute thing which some men have and others have not, but a small scale-turning overweight of a something which we all have but which we cannot either define or apprehend—the quantum which we all have being allowed to go without saying.

Genius is similar to both madness and inspiration, and since everyone is a bit inspired and a bit mad, everyone has a bit of genius. So, when we talk about genius, we don’t mean something absolute that some people have and others don’t, but rather a slight tilt of something we all possess but can’t fully define or understand—the amount we all have goes without saying.

This small excess weight has been defined as a supreme capacity for taking trouble, but he who thus defined it can hardly claim genius in respect of his own definition—his capacity for taking trouble does not seem to have been abnormal.  It might be more fitly described as a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble of all kinds and keeping them therein so long as the genius remains.  People who are credited with genius have, indeed, been sometimes very painstaking, but they would often show more signs of genius if they had taken less.  “You have taken too much trouble with your opera,” said Handel to Gluck.  It is not likely that the “Hailstone Chorus” or Mrs. Quickly cost their creators much pains, indeed, we commonly feel the ease with which a difficult feat has been performed to be a more distinctive mark of genius than the fact that the performer took great pains before he could achieve it.  Pains can serve genius, or even mar it, but they cannot make it.

This slight extra weight has been described as an exceptional ability to deal with challenges, but the person who defined it this way can hardly be considered a genius for their definition— their ability to handle trouble doesn't seem to be extraordinary. It might be better described as a remarkable talent for getting its owners into various kinds of trouble and keeping them there as long as the talent remains. People recognized for their genius have occasionally worked very hard, but they often exhibit more signs of genius when they put in less effort. “You’ve put too much effort into your opera,” Handel told Gluck. It’s unlikely that the “Hailstone Chorus” or Mrs. Quickly caused their creators much stress; in fact, we typically feel that the ease with which a challenging task has been accomplished is a clearer sign of genius than the fact that the performer struggled to achieve it. Efforts can assist genius, or even undermine it, but they cannot create it.

We can rarely, however, say what pains have or have not been taken in any particular case, for, over and above the spent pains of a man’s early efforts, the force of which may carry him far beyond all trace of themselves, there are the still more remote and invisible ancestral pains, repeated we know not how often or in what fortunate correlation with pains taken in some other and unseen direction.  This points to the conclusion that, though it is wrong to suppose the essence of genius to lie in a capacity for taking pains, it is right to hold that it must have been rooted in pains and that it cannot have grown up without them.

We can hardly ever say what efforts have or haven’t been made in any specific situation, because, on top of the efforts someone puts in early on, which might carry them well beyond any visible signs of those efforts, there are also the even more distant and invisible efforts of their ancestors, repeated who knows how many times or in some lucky connection with efforts made in other unseen ways. This suggests that while it's incorrect to think that the essence of genius lies in the ability to put in effort, it's correct to believe that it must be grounded in those efforts and that it couldn’t have developed without them.

Genius, again, might, perhaps almost as well, be defined as a supreme capacity for saving other people from having to take pains, if the highest flights of genius did not seem to know nothing about pains one way or the other.  What trouble can Hamlet or the Iliad save to any one?  Genius can, and does, save it sometimes; the genius of Newton may have saved a good deal of trouble one way or another, but it has probably engendered as much new as it has saved old.

Genius, again, might be defined as an exceptional ability to keep others from having to struggle, if the greatest examples of genius didn't seem oblivious to struggle in either direction. What kind of trouble can Hamlet or the Iliad save anyone from? Genius can, and does, relieve some of that sometimes; Newton's genius may have prevented a lot of trouble in various ways, but it has likely created just as much new trouble as it has saved from the past.

This, however, is all a matter of chance, for genius never seems to care whether it makes the burden or bears it.  The only certain thing is that there will be a burden, for the Holy Ghost has ever tended towards a breach of the peace, and the New Jerusalem, when it comes, will probably be found so far to resemble the old as to stone its prophets freely.  The world thy world is a jealous world, and thou shalt have none other worlds but it.  Genius points to change, and change is a hankering after another world, so the old world suspects it.  Genius disturbs order, it unsettles mores and hence it is immoral.  On a small scale it is intolerable, but genius will have no small scales; it is even more immoral for a man to be too far in front than to lag too far behind.  The only absolute morality is absolute stagnation, but this is unpractical, so a peck of change is permitted to every one, but it must be a peck only, whereas genius would have ever so many sacks full.  There is a myth among some Eastern nation that at the birth of Genius an unkind fairy marred all the good gifts of the other fairies by depriving it of the power of knowing where to stop.

This is really all just a matter of chance, because genius doesn’t seem to care whether it creates the burden or carries it. The only certain thing is that there will be a burden, as the Holy Ghost has always leaned toward causing disruption, and when the New Jerusalem arrives, it will probably closely resemble the old one, ready to stone its prophets without hesitation. The world you live in is a jealous one, and you won’t have any other worlds but this one. Genius signals change, and change is a yearning for another world, which makes the old world suspicious of it. Genius disrupts order, it shakes up social norms, and therefore it is seen as immoral. On a small scale, it is unacceptable, but genius doesn’t do small scales; it’s even more immoral for someone to be too far ahead than to fall too far behind. The only absolute morality is absolute stagnation, but that’s impractical, so everyone gets a limited amount of change, just a little, while genius wants to have heaps of it. There’s a myth in some Eastern cultures that when Genius is born, a cruel fairy spoils all the good gifts from the other fairies by taking away its ability to know when to stop.

Nor does genius care more about money than about trouble.  It is no respecter of time, trouble, money or persons, the four things round which human affairs turn most persistently.  It will not go a hair’s breadth from its way either to embrace fortune or to avoid her.  It is, like Love, “too young to know the worth of gold.” [176]  It knows, indeed, both love and hate, but not as we know them, for it will fly for help to its bitterest foe, or attack its dearest friend in the interests of the art it serves.

Genius doesn’t care more about money than it does about struggles. It doesn’t give special treatment to time, trouble, money, or people—the four things that human affairs revolve around the most. It won’t stray even a little from its path to chase after fortune or to avoid it. Like Love, it’s “too young to know the worth of gold.” [176] It understands both love and hate, but not in the same way we do; it will turn to its worst enemy for help or go after its closest friend for the sake of the art it serves.

Yet this genius, which so despises the world, is the only thing of which the world is permanently enamoured, and the more it flouts the world, the more the world worships it, when it has once well killed it in the flesh.  Who can understand this eternal crossing in love and contradiction in terms which warps the woof of actions and things from the atom to the universe?  The more a man despises time, trouble, money, persons, place and everything on which the world insists as most essential to salvation, the more pious will this same world hold him to have been.  What a fund of universal unconscious scepticism must underlie the world’s opinions!  For we are all alike in our worship of genius that has passed through the fire.  Nor can this universal instinctive consent be explained otherwise than as the welling up of a spring whose sources lie deep in the conviction that great as this world is, it masks a greater wherein its wisdom is folly and which we know as blind men know where the sun is shining, certainly, but not distinctly.

Yet this genius, which looks down on the world, is the one thing the world is forever captivated by, and the more it disdains the world, the more the world idolizes it, especially after it has been fully sacrificed in reality. Who can grasp this endless interplay of love and contradiction that shapes actions and things from the smallest particle to the vast universe? The more a person rejects time, effort, money, people, place, and everything else the world insists is crucial for salvation, the more holy this same world will believe him to have been. What a foundation of universal unrecognized skepticism must lie beneath the world's opinions! Because we are all alike in our admiration of genius that has gone through struggles. This universal, instinctive agreement can't be explained any other way than as the emergence of a spring whose sources run deep in the belief that, no matter how great this world is, it conceals a greater one where its wisdom is foolishness, and which we perceive like blind people sense where the sun is shining—surely, but not clearly.

This should in itself be enough to prove that such a world exists, but there is still another proof in the fact that so many come among us showing instinctive and ineradicable familiarity with a state of things which has no counterpart here, and cannot, therefore, have been acquired here.  From such a world we come, every one of us, but some seem to have a more living recollection of it than others.  Perfect recollection of it no man can have, for to put on flesh is to have all one’s other memories jarred beyond power of conscious recognition.  And genius must put on flesh, for it is only by the hook and crook of taint and flesh that tainted beings like ourselves can apprehend it, only in and through flesh can it be made manifest to us at all.  The flesh and the shop will return no matter with how many pitchforks we expel them, for we cannot conceivably expel them thoroughly; therefore it is better not to be too hard upon them.  And yet this same flesh cloaks genius at the very time that it reveals it.  It seems as though the flesh must have been on and must have gone clean off before genius can be discerned, and also that we must stand a long way from it, for the world grows more and more myopic as it grows older.  And this brings another trouble, for by the time the flesh has gone off it enough, and it is far enough away for us to see it without glasses, the chances are we shall have forgotten its very existence and lose the wish to see at the very moment of becoming able to do so.  Hence there appears to be no remedy for the oft-repeated complaint that the world knows nothing of its greatest men.  How can it be expected to do so?  And how can its greatest men be expected to know more than a very little of the world?  At any rate, they seldom do, and it is just because they cannot and do not that, if they ever happen to be found out at all, they are recognised as the greatest and the world weeps and wrings its hands that it cannot know more about them.

This should be enough to prove that such a world exists, but there's another proof in the fact that so many people come among us with an instinctive and deep familiarity with a state of things that has no equivalent here, and therefore, couldn’t have been learned here. We all come from such a world, but some seem to have a stronger memory of it than others. No one can have perfect recall of it, because taking on a physical form means all of one's other memories get disrupted beyond conscious recognition. Genius must take on flesh, as it’s only through the messiness of our flawed existence that we can grasp it; only within and through the physical can it be made real to us at all. The physical and the mundane will return no matter how many times we try to push them away, because we can't completely get rid of them; therefore, it's better not to be too harsh on them. Yet, this same physical form hides genius even as it reveals it. It seems like the physical must have been there and then completely removed before we can recognize genius, and also that we need to be at a distance to see it clearly, as the world becomes increasingly shortsighted as it ages. This brings another issue, because by the time the physical has faded enough, and we’re far enough away to see it without distortion, the chances are we’ll have forgotten it ever existed and lose the desire to see it just when we’re able to. Hence, there seems to be no solution to the often-heard complaint that the world knows nothing of its greatest figures. How can it be expected to? And how can those greatest figures be expected to know much about the world? In any case, they rarely do, and it’s exactly because they can’t and don’t that, if they ever happen to be discovered at all, they are recognized as the greatest and the world mourns and wrings its hands over not knowing more about them.

Lastly, if genius cannot be bought with money, still less can it sell what it produces.  The only price that can be paid for genius is suffering, and this is the only wages it can receive.  The only work that has any considerable permanence is written, more or less consciously, in the blood of the writer, or in that of his or her forefathers.  Genius is like money, or, again, like crime, every one has a little, if it be only a half-penny, and he can beg or steal this much if he has not got it; but those who have little are rarely very fond of millionaires.  People generally like and understand best those who are of much about the same social standing and money status as their own; and so it is for the most part as between those who have only the average amount of genius and the Homers, Shakespeares and Handels of the race.

Lastly, if genius can't be bought with money, it definitely can't sell what it creates. The only price for genius is suffering, and that’s the only payment it receives. The work that lasts is written, consciously or not, in the blood of the writer or their ancestors. Genius is like money, or even like crime; everyone has a little, even if it's just a penny, and they can beg or steal that much if they don't have it. But those with little genius usually aren't very fond of the millionaires. People generally like and understand best those who have a similar social standing and financial status to their own; so it tends to be the case with those who have just an average amount of genius compared to the greats like Homers, Shakespeares, and Handels of the world.

And yet, so paradoxical is everything connected with genius, that it almost seems as though the nearer people stood to one another in respect either of money or genius, the more jealous they become of one another.  I have read somewhere that Thackeray was one day flattening his nose against a grocer’s window and saw two bags of sugar, one marked tenpence halfpenny and the other elevenpence (for sugar has come down since Thackeray’s time).  As he left the window he was heard to say, “How they must hate one another!”  So it is in the animal and vegetable worlds.  The war of extermination is generally fiercest between the most nearly allied species, for these stand most in one another’s light.  So here again the same old paradox and contradiction in terms meets us, like a stone wall, in the fact that we love best those who are in the main like ourselves, but when they get too like, we hate them, and, at the same time, we hate most those who are unlike ourselves, but if they become unlike enough, we may often be very fond of them.

And yet, everything associated with genius is so paradoxical that it almost seems like the closer people are to each other in terms of money or talent, the more jealous they become of one another. I read somewhere that Thackeray was once pressing his nose against a grocer’s window and saw two bags of sugar, one priced at ten and a half pence and the other at eleven pence (sugar prices have dropped since Thackeray’s time). As he walked away from the window, he was heard saying, “How they must hate each other!” It’s the same in the animal and plant worlds. The fight for survival is often most intense between species that are closely related because they compete for the same resources. So here again, we encounter the same old paradox and contradiction: we love those who are mostly like us, but when they become too similar, we start to dislike them. At the same time, we usually dislike those who are very different from us, but if they are different enough, we can end up being quite fond of them.

Genius must make those that have it think apart, and to think apart is to take one’s view of things instead of being, like Poins, a blessed fellow to think as every man thinks.  A man who thinks for himself knows what others do not, but does not know what others know.  Hence the belli causa, for he cannot serve two masters, the God of his own inward light and the Mammon of common sense, at one and the same time.  How can a man think apart and not apart?  But if he is a genius this is the riddle he must solve.  The uncommon sense of genius and the common sense of the rest of the world are thus as husband and wife to one another; they are always quarrelling, and common sense, who must be taken to be the husband, always fancies himself the master—nevertheless genius is generally admitted to be the better half.

Genius forces those who possess it to think differently, and to think differently means to have your own perspective instead of, like Poins, just going along with everyone else. A person who thinks for themselves knows things that others don’t, but they also lack knowledge that others have. This creates tension, as they can’t serve two masters at once: the guiding light of their own insight and the base logic of popular opinion. How can someone think both independently and dependently? If they are a genius, this is the puzzle they must figure out. The unique perspective of genius and the conventional wisdom of the rest of society are like a married couple; they’re always arguing, and common sense, who is seen as the husband, often believes he is in charge—yet genius is usually recognized as the better half.

He who would know more of genius must turn to what he can find in the poets, or to whatever other sources he may discover, for I can help him no further.

He who wants to learn more about genius should look to the poets or any other sources he can find, because I can't assist him anymore.

ii

The destruction of great works of literature and art is as necessary for the continued development of either one or the other as death is for that of organic life.  We fight against it as long as we can, and often stave it off successfully both for ourselves and others, but there is nothing so great—not Homer, Shakespeare, Handel, Rembrandt, Giovanni Bellini, De Hooghe, Velasquez and the goodly company of other great men for whose lives we would gladly give our own—but it has got to go sooner or later and leave no visible traces, though the invisible ones endure from everlasting to everlasting.  It is idle to regret this for ourselves or others, our effort should tend towards enjoying and being enjoyed as highly and for as long time as we can, and then chancing the rest.

The destruction of great works of literature and art is just as essential for the ongoing growth of either one as death is for organic life. We fight against it for as long as we can, and often manage to hold it off successfully for ourselves and others, but nothing is so significant—not Homer, Shakespeare, Handel, Rembrandt, Giovanni Bellini, De Hooghe, Velasquez, and the many other great figures for whom we would gladly sacrifice our own lives—that it won’t eventually disappear without a trace, even though the unseen ones last forever. It's futile to lament this for ourselves or others; our focus should be on enjoying and being enjoyed as much and for as long as possible, and then leaving the rest to chance.

iii

Inspiration is never genuine if it is known as inspiration at the time.  True inspiration always steals on a person; its importance not being fully recognised for some time.  So men of genius always escape their own immediate belongings, and indeed generally their own age.

Inspiration isn't truly genuine if it's recognized as inspiration in the moment. Real inspiration always sneaks up on a person; its significance isn't fully acknowledged right away. That's why geniuses often transcend their own immediate surroundings and, in fact, usually their own era.

iv

Dullness is so much stronger than genius because there is so much more of it, and it is better organised and more naturally cohesive inter se.  So the arctic volcano can do no thing against arctic ice.

Dullness is much stronger than genius because there's way more of it, and it's better organized and more naturally cohesive inter se. So the arctic volcano can't do anything against arctic ice.

v

America will have her geniuses, as every other country has, in fact she has already had one in Walt Whitman, but I do not think America is a good place in which to be a genius.  A genius can never expect to have a good time anywhere, if he is a genuine article, but America is about the last place in which life will be endurable at all for an inspired writer of any kind.

America will have its geniuses, just like any other country, and in fact, it has already produced one in Walt Whitman. However, I don't think America is a great place for a genius to thrive. A true genius can never really expect to enjoy life anywhere, but America is probably one of the worst places for an inspired writer of any kind to have a decent existence.

Great Things

All men can do great things, if they know what great things are.  So hard is this last that even where it exists the knowledge is as much unknown as known to them that have it and is more a leaning upon the Lord than a willing of one that willeth.  And yet all the leaning on the Lord in Christendom fails if there be not a will of him that willeth to back it up.  God and the man are powerless without one another.

All people can achieve great things if they understand what great things really are. This understanding is so difficult that even when it exists, those who have it often know it less than not. It's more about relying on the Lord than about just wanting something. Yet, all the reliance on the Lord in Christianity falls flat without the will of someone who actually wants to support it. God and man are both powerless without each other.

Genius and Providence

Among all the evidences for the existence of an overruling Providence that I can discover, I see none more convincing than the elaborate and for the most part effectual provision that has been made for the suppression of genius.  The more I see of the world, the more necessary I see it to be that by far the greater part of what is written or done should be of so fleeting a character as to take itself away quickly.  That is the advantage in the fact that so much of our literature is journalism.

Among all the evidence I've seen for the existence of a higher power, none is more convincing to me than the extensive and mostly successful measures taken to stifle genius. The more I observe the world, the more I realize how crucial it is for most of what is written or done to be so temporary that it fades away quickly. That's the upside of so much of our literature being journalism.

Schools and colleges are not intended to foster genius and to bring it out.  Genius is a nuisance, and it is the duty of schools and colleges to abate it by setting genius-traps in its way.  They are as the artificial obstructions in a hurdle race—tests of skill and endurance, but in themselves useless.  Still, so necessary is it that genius and originality should be abated that, did not academies exist, we should have had to invent them.

Schools and colleges aren't meant to nurture genius and highlight it. Genius can be a hassle, and it's the role of schools and colleges to stifle it by putting obstacles in its path. They are like the artificial barriers in a hurdle race—challenges of skill and endurance, but ultimately pointless. Yet, it’s so important to limit genius and originality that if we didn’t have academies, we would have had to create them.

The Art of Covery

This is as important and interesting as Dis-covery.  Surely the glory of finally getting rid of and burying a long and troublesome matter should be as great as that of making an important discovery.  The trouble is that the coverer is like Samson who perished in the wreck of what he had destroyed; if he gets rid of a thing effectually he gets rid of himself too.

This is just as important and interesting as discovery. Surely the excitement of finally getting rid of and burying a long and troublesome issue should be as significant as making an important discovery. The problem is that the one who covers it up is like Samson, who died in the collapse of what he had destroyed; if he effectively gets rid of something, he also loses a part of himself.

Wanted

We want a Society for the Suppression of Erudite Research and the Decent Burial of the Past.  The ghosts of the dead past want quite as much laying as raising.

We want a Society for the Suppression of Knowledgeable Research and the Proper Burial of the Past. The ghosts of the dead past want just as much rest as they do revival.

Ephemeral and Permanent Success

The supposition that the world is ever in league to put a man down is childish.  Hardly less childish is it for an author to lay the blame on reviewers.  A good sturdy author is a match for a hundred reviewers.  He, I grant, knows nothing of either literature or science who does not know that a mot d’ordre given by a few wire-pullers can, for a time, make or mar any man’s success.  People neither know what it is they like nor do they want to find out, all they care about is the being supposed to derive their likings from the best West-end magazines, so they look to the shop with the largest plate-glass windows and take what the shop-man gives them.  But no amount of plate-glass can carry off more than a certain amount of false pretences, and there is no mot d’ordre that can keep a man permanently down if he is as intent on winning lasting good name as I have been.  If I had played for immediate popularity I think I could have won it.  Having played for lasting credit I doubt not that it will in the end be given me.  A man should not be held to be ill-used for not getting what he has not played for.  I am not saying that it is better or more honourable to play for lasting than for immediate success.  I know which I myself find pleasanter, but that has nothing to do with it.

The idea that the world is always working together to bring a person down is naive. It’s just as naive for an author to blame reviewers. A strong author can handle a hundred reviewers. I’ll admit, anyone who doesn’t understand that a few influential people can temporarily make or break someone’s success doesn’t know much about literature or science. People don’t really know what they like or want to discover it; they just care about being seen as liking whatever is popular from the top magazines, so they gravitate toward the store with the biggest windows and take what they’re given. But no amount of fancy windows can hide more than a limited amount of deception, and there’s no campaign that can keep someone down for good if they’re determined to earn a solid reputation like I have been. If I had aimed for instant popularity, I believe I could have achieved it. Since I aimed for lasting respect, I have no doubt it will come to me in time. A person shouldn’t be considered mistreated for not obtaining what they didn’t aim for. I’m not saying it’s better or more honorable to aim for lasting recognition over immediate success. I know which one I personally find more enjoyable, but that’s beside the point.

It is a nice question whether the light or the heavy armed soldier of literature and art is the more useful.  I joined the plodders and have aimed at permanent good name rather than brilliancy.  I have no doubt I did this because instinct told me (for I never thought about it) that this would be the easier and less thorny path.  I have more of perseverance than of those, perhaps, even more valuable gifts—facility and readiness of resource.  I hate being hurried.  Moreover I am too fond of independence to get on with the leaders of literature and science.  Independence is essential for permanent but fatal to immediate success.  Besides, luck enters much more into ephemeral than into permanent success and I have always distrusted luck.  Those who play a waiting game have matters more in their own hands, time gives them double chances; whereas if success does not come at once to the ephemerid he misses it altogether.

It's an interesting question whether the lightly or heavily armed soldier of literature and art is more useful. I aligned with the steady workers and aimed for a lasting reputation rather than flashiness. I’m sure I chose this route because my instincts told me (even though I never consciously thought about it) that it would be the easier and less complicated path. I have more perseverance than those who perhaps possess even more valuable traits—ease and quick thinking. I dislike being rushed. Also, I cherish my independence too much to comfortably associate with the leaders of literature and science. Independence is crucial for lasting success but detrimental to immediate achievements. Additionally, luck plays a much bigger role in short-term success than in long-term success, and I’ve always been skeptical of luck. Those who play a waiting game have more control over their situations; time gives them twice the opportunities, while if success doesn't come quickly to the temporary achiever, they can lose it entirely.

I know that the ordinary reviewer who either snarls at my work or misrepresents it or ignores it or, again, who pats it sub-contemptuously on the back is as honourably and usefully employed as I am.  In the kingdom of literature (as I have just been saying in the Universal Review about Science) there are many mansions and what is intolerable in one is common form in another.  It is a case of the division of labour and a man will gravitate towards one class of workers or another according as he is built.  There is neither higher nor lower about it.

I know that the average critic who either attacks my work, misrepresents it, ignores it, or, on the other hand, gives it a condescending pat on the back is just as honorable and useful as I am. In the realm of literature (as I've just mentioned in the Universal Review about Science), there are many different areas, and what is unacceptable in one is quite normal in another. It's all about the division of labor, and a person will gravitate toward one type of worker or another based on their own makeup. There’s nothing superior or inferior about it.

I should like to put it on record that I understand it and am not inclined to regret the arrangements that have made me possible.

I want to make it clear that I understand this and don't regret the choices that have led me to be here.

My Birthright

I had to steal my own birthright.  I stole it and was bitterly punished.  But I saved my soul alive.

I had to take my own birthright. I took it and was harshly punished. But I saved my soul.

p. 183XII
The Enfant Terrible of Literature

Myself

I am the enfant terrible of literature and science.  If I cannot, and I know I cannot, get the literary and scientific big-wigs to give me a shilling, I can, and I know I can, heave bricks into the middle of them.

I am the enfant terrible of literature and science. If I can't, and I know I can't, get the literary and scientific elites to give me a dime, I can, and I know I can, throw bricks right at them.

Blake, Dante, Virgil and Tennyson

Talking it over, we agreed that Blake was no good because he learnt Italian at 60 in order to study Dante, and we knew Dante was no good because he was so fond of Virgil, and Virgil was no good because Tennyson ran him, and as for Tennyson—well, Tennyson goes without saying.

Talking it over, we agreed that Blake wasn’t good because he learned Italian at 60 just to study Dante, and we knew Dante wasn’t good because he was so into Virgil, and Virgil wasn’t good because Tennyson took him on, and as for Tennyson—well, Tennyson speaks for himself.

My Father and Shakespeare

My father is one of the few men I know who say they do not like Shakespeare.  I could forgive my father for not liking Shakespeare if it was only because Shakespeare wrote poetry; but this is not the reason.  He dislikes Shakespeare because he finds him so very coarse.  He also says he likes Tennyson and this seriously aggravates his offence.

My dad is one of the few guys I know who says he doesn't like Shakespeare. I could overlook my dad not liking Shakespeare if it was just because he wrote poetry; but that's not the reason. He dislikes Shakespeare because he thinks he's really crude. He also says he likes Tennyson, and that really adds to his offense.

Tennyson

We were saying what a delightful dispensation of providence it was that prosperous people will write their memoirs.  We hoped Tennyson was writing his.  [1890.]

We were talking about how amazing it is that successful people tend to write their memoirs. We hoped Tennyson was working on his. [1890.]

P.S.—We think his son has done nearly as well.  [1898.]

P.S.—We believe his son has done almost as well. [1898.]

Walter Pater and Matthew Arnold

Mr. Walter Pater’s style is, to me, like the face of some old woman who has been to Madame Rachel and had herself enamelled.  The bloom is nothing but powder and paint and the odour is cherry-blossom.  Mr. Matthew Arnold’s odour is as the faint sickliness of hawthorn.

Mr. Walter Pater’s style feels to me like the face of an old woman who's gone to Madame Rachel and had herself done up. The freshness is just makeup and cosmetic enhancements, and it smells like cherry blossoms. Mr. Matthew Arnold’s scent is more like the subtle, sickly sweetness of hawthorn.

My Random Passages

At the Century Club a friend very kindly and hesitatingly ventured to suggest to me that I should get some one to go over my MS. before printing; a judicious editor, he said, would have prevented me from printing many a bit which, it seemed to him, was written too recklessly and offhand.  The fact is that the more reckless and random a passage appears to be, the more carefully it has been submitted to friends and considered and re-considered; without the support of friends I should never have dared to print one half of what I have printed.

At the Century Club, a friend thoughtfully and a bit hesitantly suggested that I should have someone review my manuscript before printing it. He mentioned that a good editor could have stopped me from printing quite a few parts that, in his opinion, were written too casually and without enough thought. The truth is that the more careless and spontaneous a section seems, the more it has been shared with friends and carefully evaluated multiple times; without my friends' support, I wouldn’t have dared to publish even half of what I have.

I am not one of those who can repeat the General Confession unreservedly.  I should say rather:

I’m not someone who can wholeheartedly recite the General Confession. I’d say instead:

“I have left unsaid much that I am sorry I did not say, but I have said little that I am sorry for having said, and I am pretty well on the whole, thank you.”

“I haven’t expressed a lot that I wish I had, but I’ve said very little that I regret saying, and overall, I’m doing pretty well, thank you.”

Moral Try-Your-Strengths

There are people who, if they only had a slot, might turn a pretty penny as moral try-your-strengths, like those we see in railway-stations for telling people their physical strength when they have dropped a penny in the slot.  In a way they have a slot, which is their mouths, and people drop pennies in by asking them to dinner, and then they try their strength against them and get snubbed; but this way is roundabout and expensive.  We want a good automatic asinometer by which we can tell at a moderate cost how great or how little of a fool we are.

There are people who, if they just had a way to do it, could easily earn some cash by testing others' morals, like those games at train stations where you can see how strong you are for a penny. In a way, they already have that outlet—their mouths. People “drop pennies” by inviting them to dinner, and then they test their wits against them and often get put down; but this method is indirect and costly. What we really need is a simple, automatic device that can tell us, at a reasonable price, just how much of a fool we are.

Populus Vult

If people like being deceived—and this can hardly be doubted—there can rarely have been a time during which they can have had more of the wish than now.  The literary, scientific and religious worlds vie with one another in trying to gratify the public.

If people enjoy being misled—and that’s pretty undeniable—there's probably never been a time when they wanted it more than they do now. The worlds of literature, science, and religion compete with each other to please the public.

Men and Monkeys

In his latest article (Feb. 1892) Prof. Garner says that the chatter of monkeys is not meaningless, but that they are conveying ideas to one another.  This seems to me hazardous.  The monkeys might with equal justice conclude that in our magazine articles, or literary and artistic criticisms, we are not chattering idly but are conveying ideas to one another.

In his latest article (Feb. 1892), Prof. Garner claims that the chatter of monkeys isn't just random noise; they're actually sharing ideas with each other. I find this quite risky. The monkeys could just as easily argue that in our magazine articles or literary and artistic critiques, we aren't just talking aimlessly but are also communicating ideas with one another.

“One Touch of Nature”

“One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.”  Should it not be “marks,” not “makes”?  There is one touch of nature, or natural feature, which marks all mankind as of one family.

“One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.” Should it not be “marks,” not “makes”? There is one touch of nature, or natural feature, which marks all mankind as one family.

P.S.—Surely it should be “of ill-nature.”  “One touch of ill-nature marks—or several touches of ill-nature mark the whole world kin.”

P.S.—It should definitely be “of ill-nature.” “One hint of ill-nature shows—or a few hints of ill-nature show the entire world as related.”

Genuine Feeling

In the Times of to-day, June 4, 1887, there is an obituary notice of a Rev. Mr. Knight who wrote about 200 songs, among others “She wore a wreath of roses.”  The Times says that, though these songs have no artistic merit, they are full of genuine feeling, or words to this effect; as though a song which was full of genuine feeling could by any possibility be without artistic merit.

In the Times today, June 4, 1887, there’s an obituary for Rev. Mr. Knight, who wrote around 200 songs, including “She Wore a Wreath of Roses.” The Times mentions that, although these songs lack artistic merit, they are full of genuine feeling, or something similar; as if a song that’s full of genuine feeling could possibly lack artistic merit.

George Meredith

The Times in a leading article says (Jany. 3, 1899) “a talker,” as Mr. George Meredith has somewhere said, “involves the existence of a talkee,” or words to this effect.

The Times in a leading article says (Jan. 3, 1899) “a speaker,” as Mr. George Meredith has mentioned somewhere, “requires the presence of a listener,” or something like that.

I said what comes to the same thing as this in Life and Habit in 1877, and I repeated it in the preface to my translation of the Iliad in 1898.  I do not believe George Meredith has said anything to the same effect, but I have read so very little of that writer, and have so utterly rejected what I did read, that he may well have done so without my knowing it.  He damned Erewhon, as Chapman and Hall’s reader, in 1871, and, as I am still raw about this after 28 years, (I am afraid unless I say something more I shall be taken as writing these words seriously) I prefer to assert that the Times writer was quoting from my preface to the Iliad, published a few weeks earlier, and fathering the remark on George Meredith.  By the way the Times did not give so much as a line to my translation in its “Books of the Week,” though it was duly sent to them.

I mentioned something similar in Life and Habit back in 1877, and I reiterated it in the preface of my translation of the Iliad in 1898. I don't think George Meredith has expressed anything like it, but since I've read so little of his work and have completely disregarded what I did read, it's possible he might have without me realizing it. He criticized Erewhon when he was a reader at Chapman and Hall in 1871, and since I'm still annoyed about that after 28 years, (I'm worried that if I don't clarify this, people will take my words too seriously) I'd rather claim that the Times writer was actually quoting from my preface to the Iliad, which was published a few weeks earlier, and mistakenly attributed the comment to George Meredith. By the way, the Times didn’t even give a single line to my translation in its “Books of the Week,” even though it was sent to them as it should have been.

Froude and Freeman

I think it was last Saturday (Ap. 9) (at any rate it was a day just thereabouts) the Times had a leader on Froude’s appointment as Reg. Prof. of Mod. Hist. at Oxford.  It said Froude was perhaps our greatest living master of style, or words to that effect, only that, like Freeman, he was too long: i.e. only he is an habitual offender against the most fundamental principles of his art.  If then Froude is our greatest master of style, what are the rest of us?

I think it was last Saturday (Apr. 9) (or at least it was around that time) the Times had an article about Froude’s appointment as Reg. Prof. of Modern History at Oxford. It mentioned that Froude might be our greatest living master of style, or something like that, but like Freeman, he tended to be too long-winded: in other words, he often broke the most basic rules of his craft. So, if Froude is our greatest master of style, what does that make the rest of us?

There was a much better article yesterday on Marbot, on which my namesake A. J. Butler got a dressing for talking rubbish about style.  [1892.]

There was a much better article yesterday about Marbot, where my namesake A. J. Butler got called out for talking nonsense about style.  [1892.]

Style

In this day’s Sunday Times there is an article on Mrs. Browning’s letters which begins with some remarks about style.  “It is recorded,” says the writer, “of Plato, that in a rough draft of one of his Dialogues, found after his death, the first paragraph was written in seventy different forms.  Wordsworth spared no pains to sharpen and polish to the utmost the gifts with which nature had endowed him; and Cardinal Newman, one of the greatest masters of English style, has related in an amusing essay the pains he took to acquire his style.”

In today’s Sunday Times, there’s an article about Mrs. Browning’s letters that starts with some thoughts on style. “It’s noted,” says the writer, “that in a rough draft of one of his Dialogues, found after his death, Plato wrote the first paragraph in seventy different ways. Wordsworth put in a lot of effort to refine and perfect the talents nature had given him; and Cardinal Newman, one of the greatest masters of English style, shared in a funny essay the effort he made to develop his style.”

I never knew a writer yet who took the smallest pains with his style and was at the same time readable.  Plato’s having had seventy shies at one sentence is quite enough to explain to me why I dislike him.  A man may, and ought to take a great deal of pains to write clearly, tersely and euphemistically: he will write many a sentence three or four times over—to do much more than this is worse than not rewriting at all: he will be at great pains to see that he does not repeat himself, to arrange his matter in the way that shall best enable the reader to master it, to cut out superfluous words and, even more, to eschew irrelevant matter: but in each case he will be thinking not of his own style but of his reader’s convenience.

I’ve never met a writer who put effort into their style and was still easy to read. Plato’s trying seventy times to get one sentence right shows me exactly why I can’t stand him. A person can and should work hard to write clearly, concisely, and elegantly. They might rewrite a sentence several times—doing anything more is worse than not revising at all. They will make sure not to repeat themselves, organize their thoughts in a way that helps the reader understand, cut out unnecessary words, and, even more importantly, avoid irrelevant topics. But in all of this, they should focus not on their own style but on what makes it easier for the reader.

Men like Newman and R. L. Stevenson seem to have taken pains to acquire what they called a style as a preliminary measure—as something that they had to form before their writings could be of any value.  I should like to put it on record that I never took the smallest pains with my style, have never thought about it, and do not know or want to know whether it is a style at all or whether it is not, as I believe and hope, just common, simple straightforwardness.  I cannot conceive how any man can take thought for his style without loss to himself and his readers.

Men like Newman and R. L. Stevenson seemed to have worked hard to develop what they called a style as a first step—something they believed they needed to establish before their writing could be valuable. I want to state clearly that I never put any effort into my style, have never thought about it, and don't know or care whether it is a style or, as I believe and hope, just plain, simple straightforwardness. I can’t imagine how anyone can focus on their style without losing something for themselves and their readers.

I have, however, taken all the pains that I had patience to endure in the improvement of my handwriting (which, by the way, has a constant tendency to resume feral characteristics) and also with my MS. generally to keep it clean and legible.  I am having a great tidying just now, in the course of which the MS. of Erewhon turned up, and I was struck with the great difference between it and the MS. of The Authoress of the Odyssey.  I have also taken great pains, with what success I know not, to correct impatience, irritability and other like faults in my own character—and this not because I care two straws about my own character, but because I find the correction of such faults as I have been able to correct makes life easier and saves me from getting into scrapes, and attaches nice people to me more readily.  But I suppose this really is attending to style after all.  [1897.]

I’ve really put in a lot of effort to improve my handwriting (which, by the way, has a constant tendency to revert to its wild state) and to keep my manuscripts clean and readable. I’m currently doing a big cleanup, during which I found the manuscript of Erewhon, and I was struck by the significant difference between it and the manuscript of The Authoress of the Odyssey. I’ve also worked hard, with uncertain success, to correct impatience, irritability, and other similar faults in my character—and not because I care much about my own character, but because fixing these issues makes life easier, helps me avoid trouble, and attracts nice people to me more easily. But I guess this is really just about paying attention to style after all. [1897.]

Diderot on Criticism

“Il est si difficile de produire une chose même médiocre; il est si facile de sentir la médiocrité.”

“It's so hard to create something even mediocre; it's so easy to feel mediocrity.”

I have lately seen this quoted as having been said by Diderot.  It is easy to say we feel the mediocrity when we have heard a good many people say that the work is mediocre, but, unless in matters about which he has been long conversant, no man can easily form an independent judgment as to whether or not a work is mediocre.  I know that in the matter of books, painting and music I constantly find myself unable to form a settled opinion till I have heard what many men of varied tastes have to say, and have also made myself acquainted with details about a man’s antecedents and ways of life which are generally held to be irrelevant.

I’ve recently come across this quote attributed to Diderot. It’s easy to claim we notice mediocrity when we hear many people describe a work as mediocre, but unless a person has long experience with the subject, it’s hard to make an independent judgment about whether a work really is mediocre. I know that when it comes to books, art, and music, I often can’t settle on an opinion until I’ve listened to what many people with different tastes have to say, and also learned about the artist’s background and lifestyle, which are usually considered irrelevant.

Often, of course, this is unnecessary; a man’s character, if he has left much work behind him, or if he is not coming before us for the first time, is generally easily discovered without extraneous aid.  We want no one to give us any clues to the nature of such men as Giovanni Bellini, or De Hooghe.  Hogarth’s character is written upon his work so plainly that he who runs may read it, so is Handel’s upon his, so is Purcell’s, so is Corelli’s, so, indeed, are the characters of most men; but often where only little work has been left, or where a work is by a new hand, it is exceedingly difficult “sentir la médiocrité” and, it might be added, “ou même sentir du tout.”

Often, this isn't necessary; a person's character, if they have left behind a lot of work, or if we’re familiar with them, is usually easy to discern without outside help. We don’t need anyone to give us clues about figures like Giovanni Bellini or De Hooghe. Hogarth’s character is so clearly presented in his work that anyone can understand it, just like Handel’s, Purcell’s, and Corelli’s; indeed, most people's characters are evident in their work. However, when only a little work has been left behind, or if the work is by someone new, it can be extremely difficult to “feel the mediocrity,” and, it could be added, “or even feel anything at all.”

How many years, I wonder, was it before I learned to dislike Thackeray and Tennyson as cordially as I now do?  For how many years did I not almost worship them?

How many years, I wonder, did it take before I learned to dislike Thackeray and Tennyson as much as I do now? For how many years did I almost worship them?

Bunyan and Others

I have been reading The Pilgrim’s Progress again—the third part and all—and wish that some one would tell one what to think about it.

I’ve been reading The Pilgrim’s Progress again—the whole third part—and I wish someone would tell me what to think about it.

The English is racy, vigorous and often very beautiful; but the language of any book is nothing except in so far as it reveals the writer.  The words in which a man clothes his thoughts are like all other clothes—the cut raises presumptions about his thoughts, and these generally turn out to be just, but the words are no more the thoughts than a man’s coat is himself.  I am not sure, however, that in Bunyan’s case the dress in which he has clothed his ideas does not reveal him more justly than the ideas do.

The English is lively, powerful, and often really beautiful; but the language of any book only matters to the extent that it shows who the writer is. The words someone uses to express their thoughts are like clothing—the style hints at what they’re thinking, and these hints are usually accurate, but the words aren’t the thoughts any more than a person's coat is who they are. However, I’m not convinced that in Bunyan’s case, the way he dresses his ideas doesn’t reflect him more accurately than the ideas themselves do.

The Pilgrim’s Progress consists mainly of a series of infamous libels upon life and things; it is a blasphemy against certain fundamental ideas of right and wrong which our consciences most instinctively approve; its notion of heaven is hardly higher than a transformation scene at Drury Lane; it is essentially infidel.  “Hold out to me the chance of a golden crown and harp with freedom from all further worries, give me angels to flatter me and fetch and carry for me, and I shall think the game worth playing, notwithstanding the great and horrible risk of failure; but no crown, no cross for me.  Pay me well and I will wait for payment, but if I have to give credit I shall expect to be paid better in the end.”

The Pilgrim’s Progress mainly features a series of notorious attacks on life and the world around us; it's a disrespect towards some basic concepts of right and wrong that our consciences instinctively support; its idea of heaven is barely more elevated than a stage show at Drury Lane; it is fundamentally unbelieving. “Show me the possibility of a golden crown and a harp, along with freedom from all future troubles, give me angels to praise me and do my bidding, and I’ll consider it worth the risk, despite the chance of failing terribly; but no crown, no cross for me. Pay me well, and I’ll wait for it, but if I have to extend credit, I expect to be compensated even better in return.”

There is no conception of the faith that a man should do his duty cheerfully with all his might though, as far as he can see, he will never be paid directly or indirectly either here or hereafter.  Still less is there any conception that unless a man has this faith he is not worth thinking about.  There is no sense that as we have received freely so we should give freely and be only too thankful that we have anything to give at all.  Furthermore there does not appear to be even the remotest conception that this honourable, comfortable and sustaining faith is, like all other high faiths, to be brushed aside very peremptorily at the bidding of common-sense.

There’s no idea that a person should approach their responsibilities happily and with everything they’ve got, even if they believe they won’t be rewarded now or later. Even less is there any thought that without this belief, a person isn’t worth considering. There’s no understanding that just as we received freely, we should also give freely and be genuinely grateful for what we have to offer. Additionally, there’s not even a hint that this honorable, comforting, and supportive belief, like all other lofty beliefs, can be disregarded without hesitation in favor of common sense.

What a pity it is that Christian never met Mr. Common-Sense with his daughter, Good-Humour, and her affianced husband, Mr. Hate-Cant; but if he ever saw them in the distance he steered clear of them, probably as feeling that they would be more dangerous than Giant Despair, Vanity Fair and Apollyon all together—for they would have stuck to him if he had let them get in with him.  Among other things they would have told him that, if there was any truth in his opinions, neither man nor woman ought to become a father or mother at all, inasmuch as their doing so would probably entail eternity of torture on the wretched creature whom they were launching into the world.  Life in this world is risk enough to inflict on another person who has not been consulted in the matter, but death will give quittance in full.  To weaken our faith in this sure and certain hope of peace eternal (except so far as we have so lived as to win life in others after we are gone) would be a cruel thing, even though the evidence against it were overwhelming, but to rob us of it on no evidence worth a moment’s consideration and, apparently, from no other motive than the pecuniary advantage of the robbers themselves is infamy.  For the Churches are but institutions for the saving of men’s souls from hell.

What a shame it is that Christian never met Mr. Common-Sense with his daughter, Good-Humour, and her fiancé, Mr. Hate-Cant; but if he ever saw them from a distance, he stayed away from them, likely feeling that they would be more dangerous than Giant Despair, Vanity Fair, and Apollyon combined—for they would have clung to him if he had let them in. Among other things, they would have told him that if there was any truth in his beliefs, no one should become a parent at all, as doing so would likely subject the innocent child they brought into the world to eternal suffering. Life in this world is risky enough to impose on another person who hasn’t had a say in it, but death will provide a clean break. To undermine our faith in this sure and certain hope for eternal peace (except in cases where we have lived in a way that brings life to others after we’re gone) would be cruel, even if the evidence against it were overwhelming. Yet to strip us of it based on no credible evidence and seemingly for the financial gain of the thieves themselves is disgraceful. After all, churches exist primarily to save souls from hell.

This is true enough.  Nevertheless it is untrue that in practice any Christian minister, knowing what he preaches to be both very false and very cruel, yet insists on it because it is to the advantage of his own order.  In a way the preachers believe what they preach, but it is as men who have taken a bad £10 note and refuse to look at the evidence that makes for its badness, though, if the note were not theirs, they would see at a glance that it was not a good one.  For the man in the street it is enough that what the priests teach in respect of a future state is palpably both cruel and absurd while, at the same time, they make their living by teaching it and thus prey upon other men’s fears of the unknown.  If the Churches do not wish to be misunderstood they should not allow themselves to remain in such an equivocal position.

This is true enough. However, it’s not accurate to say that any Christian minister, knowing what he preaches is both very false and very cruel, continues to preach it just because it benefits his own position. In a way, the preachers believe what they say, but it’s like someone who has a bad £10 note and refuses to acknowledge the evidence of its badness, even though if it weren’t theirs, they would quickly see it’s not a good one. For the average person, it’s clear that what the priests teach about the afterlife is obviously both cruel and ridiculous, yet they earn their living by teaching it and exploiting other people’s fears of the unknown. If the Churches don’t want to be misunderstood, they shouldn’t allow themselves to stay in such a questionable position.

But let this pass.  Bunyan, we may be sure, took all that he preached in its most literal interpretation; he could never have made his book so interesting had he not done so.  The interest of it depends almost entirely on the unquestionable good faith of the writer and the strength of the impulse that compelled him to speak that which was within him.  He was not writing a book which he might sell, he was speaking what was borne in upon him from heaven.  The message he uttered was, to my thinking, both low and false, but it was truth of truths to Bunyan.

But let’s move on. Bunyan definitely took everything he preached in its most literal sense; he wouldn’t have made his book so engaging otherwise. The book's appeal relies almost completely on the writer's genuine good faith and the strong drive that pushed him to express what was inside him. He wasn’t writing a book to sell; he was sharing what he felt was given to him from heaven. The message he delivered seemed, to me, both simplistic and misleading, but it was the absolute truth for Bunyan.

No.  This will not do.  The Epistles of St. Paul were truth of truths to Paul, but they do not attract us to the man who wrote them, and, except here and there, they are very uninteresting.  Mere strength of conviction on a writer’s part is not enough to make his work take permanent rank.  Yet I know that I could read the whole of The Pilgrim’s Progress (except occasional episodical sermons) without being at all bored by it, whereas, having spent a penny upon Mr. Stead’s abridgement of Joseph Andrews, I had to give it up as putting me out of all patience.  I then spent another penny on an abridgement of Gulliver’s Travels, and was enchanted by it.  What is it that makes one book so readable and another so unreadable?  Swift, from all I can make out, was a far more human and genuine person than he is generally represented, but I do not think I should have liked him, whereas Fielding, I am sure, must have been delightful.  Why do the faults of his work overweigh its many great excellences, while the less great excellences of the Voyage to Lilliput outweigh its more serious defects?

No. This won't work. The Epistles of St. Paul were absolute truths to Paul, but they don’t draw us to the man who wrote them, and, except for a few parts, they're pretty dull. Just having strong convictions doesn’t make a writer's work standout. Still, I know I could read all of The Pilgrim’s Progress (except for the occasional sermon) without getting bored, but after spending a penny on Mr. Stead’s abridgment of Joseph Andrews, I had to give up because it drove me crazy. Then I spent another penny on an abridgment of Gulliver’s Travels, and I loved it. What makes one book so easy to read and another so difficult? From what I gather, Swift was a much more relatable and genuine person than he's usually portrayed, but I don't think I would have liked him, while I’m sure Fielding must have been wonderful. Why do the flaws in his work overshadow its many great qualities, while the lesser strengths of the Voyage to Lilliput make its more serious flaws seem less important?

I suppose it is the prolixity of Fielding that fatigues me.  Swift is terse, he gets through what he has to say on any matter as quickly as he can and takes the reader on to the next, whereas Fielding is not only long, but his length is made still longer by the disconnectedness of the episodes that appear to have been padded into the books—episodes that do not help one forward, and are generally so exaggerated, and often so full of horse-play as to put one out of conceit with the parts that are really excellent.

I guess it's Fielding's long-windedness that tires me out. Swift is concise; he gets his points across quickly and moves on to the next topic. In contrast, Fielding isn't just lengthy, but his length is further extended by the random episodes that seem to be added just to fill the pages—episodes that don't really contribute anything and are often so over-the-top and filled with silliness that they make it hard to appreciate the parts that are truly great.

Whatever else Bunyan is he is never long; he takes you quickly on from incident to incident and, however little his incidents may appeal to us, we feel that he is never giving us one that is not bona fide so far as he is concerned.  His episodes and incidents are introduced not because he wants to make his book longer but because he cannot be satisfied without these particular ones, even though he may feel that his book is getting longer than he likes.

Whatever else Bunyan is, he never drags things out; he quickly moves you from one event to the next, and even if his events don’t resonate with us much, we can sense that he’s always being genuine with what he presents. His stories and events are included not because he wants to stretch his book, but because he can’t be content without these specific ones, even if he worries that his book is getting longer than he’d prefer.

. . .

. . .

And here I must break away from this problem, leaving it unsolved.  [1897.]

And at this point, I have to step away from this issue, leaving it unresolved. [1897.]

Bunyan and the Odyssey

Anything worse than The Pilgrim’s Progress in the matter of defiance of literary canons can hardly be conceived.  The allegory halts continually; it professes to be spiritual, but nothing can be more carnal than the golden splendour of the eternal city; the view of life and the world generally is flat blasphemy against the order of things with which we are surrounded.  Yet, like the Odyssey, which flatly defies sense and criticism (no, it doesn’t; still, it defies them a good deal), no one can doubt that it must rank among the very greatest books that have ever been written.  How Odyssean it is in its sincerity and downrightness, as well as in the marvellous beauty of its language, its freedom from all taint of the schools and, not least, in complete victory of genuine internal zeal over a scheme initially so faulty as to appear hopeless.

Anything worse than The Pilgrim’s Progress in terms of defying literary standards is hard to imagine. The allegory constantly stops short; it claims to be spiritual, but nothing is more worldly than the golden glory of the eternal city. Its perspective on life and the world is outright blasphemy against the order of things we experience. Yet, like the Odyssey, which openly challenges sense and criticism (though it doesn’t do that entirely; it challenges them quite a bit), there’s no doubt it deserves to be counted among the greatest books ever written. It's so Odyssean in its honesty and straightforwardness, as well as in the incredible beauty of its language, its complete freedom from academic constraints, and above all, in its triumph of true inner passion over a concept that initially seemed so flawed it felt hopeless.

I read that part where Christian passes the lions which he thought were free but which were really chained and it occurred to me that all lions are chained until they actually eat us and that, the moment they do this, they chain themselves up again automatically, as far as we are concerned.  If one dissects this passage it fares as many a passage in the Odyssey does when we dissect it.  Christian did not, after all, venture to pass the lions till he was assured that they were chained.  And really it is more excusable to refuse point-blank to pass a couple of lions till one knows whether they are chained or not—and the poor wicked people seem to have done nothing more than this,—than it would be to pass them.  Besides, by being told, Christian fights, as it were, with loaded dice.

I read that part where Christian walks by the lions that he thought were free but were actually chained, and it struck me that all lions are basically chained until they actually eat us, and the moment they do, they automatically chain themselves up again, at least from our perspective. If you analyze this passage, it holds up like many passages in the Odyssey do when we break it down. Christian didn’t decide to walk past the lions until he was sure they were chained. Honestly, it’s more understandable to outright refuse to walk past a couple of lions until you know if they’re chained or not—and those poor wicked people seem to have done nothing more than that—than it would be to just walk by them. Plus, by being informed, Christian is essentially playing with loaded dice.

Poetry

The greatest poets never write poetry.  The Homers and Shakespeares are not the greatest—they are only the greatest that we can know.  And so with Handel among musicians.  For the highest poetry, whether in music or literature, is ineffable—it must be felt from one person to another, it cannot be articulated.

The greatest poets never actually write poetry. The Homers and Shakespeares aren’t the best—they're just the best that we’re aware of. The same goes for Handel among musicians. The highest poetry, whether in music or literature, is beyond words—it has to be experienced from one person to another; it can't be expressed in words.

Verse

Versifying is the lowest form of poetry; and the last thing a great poet will do in these days is to write verses.

Versifying is the simplest form of poetry; and nowadays, the last thing a great poet would do is write verses.

I have been trying to read Venus and Adonis and the Rape of Lucrece but cannot get on with them.  They teem with fine things, but they are got-up fine things.  I do not know whether this is quite what I mean but, come what may, I find the poems bore me.  Were I a schoolmaster I should think I was setting a boy a very severe punishment if I told him to read Venus and Adonis through in three sittings.  If, then, the magic of Shakespeare’s name, let alone the great beauty of occasional passages, cannot reconcile us (for I find most people of the same mind) to verse, and especially rhymed verse as a medium of sustained expression, what chance has any one else?  It seems to me that a sonnet is the utmost length to which a rhymed poem should extend.

I’ve been trying to read Venus and Adonis and The Rape of Lucrece, but I just can’t get through them. They’re filled with great stuff, but it all seems pretty polished. I’m not sure if that’s exactly what I mean, but no matter what, I find the poems dull. If I were a teacher, I’d think I was giving a student a really tough punishment if I asked him to read Venus and Adonis in three sittings. So, if even the appeal of Shakespeare’s name, not to mention the beauty of some passages, can’t convince us (since I find many people feel the same way) to appreciate verse, especially rhymed verse, as a way of expressing deeper ideas, what hope is there for anyone else? To me, it seems like a sonnet is the longest a rhymed poem should be.

Verse, Poetry and Prose

The preface to Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress is verse, but it is not poetry.  The body of the work is poetry, but it is not verse.

The preface to Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress is written in verse, but it doesn't count as poetry. The main part of the work is poetry, but it isn't written in verse.

Ancient Work

If a person would understand either the Odyssey or any other ancient work, he must never look at the dead without seeing the living in them, nor at the living without thinking of the dead.  We are too fond of seeing the ancients as one thing and the moderns as another.

If someone wants to understand either the Odyssey or any other ancient work, they must always see the living in the dead and think about the dead when looking at the living. We tend to separate the ancients from the moderns too much.

Nausicaa and Myself

I am elderly, grey-bearded and, according to my clerk, Alfred, disgustingly fat; I wear spectacles and get more and more bronchitic as I grow older.  Still no young prince in a fairy story ever found an invisible princess more effectually hidden behind a hedge of dullness or more fast asleep than Nausicaa was when I woke her and hailed her as Authoress of the Odyssey.  And there was no difficulty about it either—all one had to do was to go up to the front door and ring the bell.

I’m old, grey-bearded, and, according to my assistant, Alfred, really overweight; I wear glasses and I'm getting more bronchitic as I age. Still, no young prince in a fairy tale ever found an invisible princess who was more effectively hidden behind a hedge of dullness or more deeply asleep than Nausicaa was when I woke her and called her the Authoress of the Odyssey. And there was no trouble at all— all you had to do was walk up to the front door and ring the bell.

Telemachus and Nicholas Nickleby

The virtuous young man defending a virtuous mother against a number of powerful enemies is one of the ignes fatui of literature.  The scheme ought to be very interesting, and often is so, but it always fails as regards the hero who, from Telemachus to Nicholas Nickleby, is always too much of the good young man to please.

The virtuous young man defending a virtuous mother against a bunch of powerful enemies is one of the ignes fatui of literature. The concept should be really engaging, and it often is, but it always falls flat when it comes to the hero, who, from Telemachus to Nicholas Nickleby, ends up being too much of the good young man to be appealing.

Gadshill and Trapani

While getting our lunch one Sunday at the east end of the long room in the Sir John Falstaff Inn, Gadshill, we overheard some waterside-looking dwellers in the neighbourhood talking among themselves.  I wrote down the following:—

While grabbing lunch one Sunday at the east end of the long room in the Sir John Falstaff Inn, Gadshill, we overheard some locals who looked like they lived by the water chatting with each other. I noted down the following:—

Bill: Oh, yes.  I’ve got a mate that works in my shop; he’s chucked the Dining Room because they give him too much to eat.  He found another place where they gave him four pennyworth of meat and two vegetables and it was quite as much as he could put up with.

Bill: Oh, yes. I have a friend who works in my shop; he quit the Dining Room because they fed him too much. He found another place where they gave him four pennies' worth of meat and two vegetables, and that was about all he could handle.

George: You can’t kid me, Bill, that they give you too much to eat, but I’ll believe it to oblige you, Bill.  Shall I see you to-night?

George: You can't fool me, Bill, that they give you too much to eat, but I'll take your word for it, Bill. Should I see you tonight?

Bill: No, I must go to church.

Bill: No, I have to go to church.

George: Well, so must I; I’ve got to go.

George: Well, I have to go; I need to leave.

So at Trapani, I heard two small boys one night on the quay (I am sure I have written this down somewhere, but it is less trouble to write it again than to hunt for it) singing with all their might, with their arms round one another’s necks.  I should say they were about ten years old, not more.

So at Trapani, I saw two little boys one night on the dock (I’m pretty sure I’ve written this down somewhere, but it’s easier to write it again than to search for it) singing at the top of their lungs, with their arms around each other’s shoulders. I’d guess they were around ten years old, maybe a little more.

I asked Ignazio Giacalone: “What are they singing?”

I asked Ignazio Giacalone, “What are they singing?”

He replied that it was a favourite song among the popolino of Trapani about a girl who did not want to be seen going about with a man.  “The people in this place,” says the song, “are very ill-natured, and if they see you and me together, they will talk,” &c.

He replied that it was a popular song among the locals of Trapani about a girl who didn’t want to be seen with a guy. “The people here,” the song says, “are really mean, and if they see you and me together, they will gossip,” etc.

I do not say that there was any descent here from Nausicaa’s speech to Ulysses, but I felt as though that speech was still in the air.  [Od. VI. 273.]

I’m not saying there was any decline from Nausicaa’s speech to Ulysses, but it felt like that speech was still lingering in the air.  [Od. VI. 273.]

I reckon Gadshill and Trapani as perhaps the two most classic grounds that I frequent familiarly, and at each I have seemed to hear echoes of the scenes that have made them famous.  Not that what I heard at Gadshill is like any particular passage in Shakespeare.

I consider Gadshill and Trapani to be possibly the two most iconic places I often visit, and at each one, I've felt echoes of the events that made them famous. Not that what I heard at Gadshill is like any specific part of Shakespeare.

Waiting to be Hired

At Castelvetrano (about thirty miles from Trapani) I had to start the next morning at 4 a.m. to see the ruins of Selinunte, and slept lightly with my window open.  About two o’clock I began to hear a buzz of conversation in the piazza outside and it kept me awake, so I got up to shut the window and see what it was.  I found it came from a long knot of men standing about, two deep, but not strictly marshalled.  When I got up at half-past three, it was still dark and the men were still there, though perhaps not so many.  I enquired and found they were standing to be hired for the day, any one wanting labourers would come there, engage as many as he wanted and go off with them, others would come up, and so on till about four o’clock, after which no one would hire, the day being regarded as short in weight after that hour.  Being so collected the men gossip over their own and other people’s affairs—wonder who was that fine-looking stranger going about yesterday with Nausicaa, and so on.  [Od. VI. 273.]  This, in fact, is their club and the place where the public opinion of the district is formed.

At Castelvetrano (about thirty miles from Trapani), I had to get up the next morning at 4 a.m. to check out the ruins of Selinunte, and I slept lightly with my window open. Around 2 a.m., I started to hear a buzz of conversation in the piazza outside, which kept me awake, so I got up to close the window and see what was going on. I found a large group of men standing around in pairs, but they weren't lined up neatly. When I got up at 3:30 a.m., it was still dark, and the men were still there, although maybe not as many. I asked around and discovered they were waiting to be hired for the day; anyone looking for laborers would come there, hire as many as they needed, and leave with them. Others would arrive, and this would continue until about 4 o'clock, after which no one would hire, considering the day too short to start work. While waiting, the men chatted about their own lives and what was happening in the area—wondering who that good-looking stranger was who was seen with Nausicaa yesterday, and so on. This is basically their hangout, the spot where the community's opinions are shaped.

Ilium and Padua

The story of the Trojan horse is more nearly within possibility than we should readily suppose.  In 1848, during the rebellion of the North Italians against the Austrians, eight or nine young men, for whom the authorities were hunting, hid themselves inside Donatello’s wooden horse in the Salone at Padua and lay there for five days, being fed through the trap door on the back of the horse with the connivance of the custode of the Salone.  No doubt they were let out for a time at night.  When pursuit had become less hot, their friends smuggled them away.  One of those who had been shut up was still living in 1898 and, on the occasion of the jubilee festivities, was carried round the town in triumph.

The story of the Trojan horse is more believable than we might think. In 1848, during the rebellion of the Northern Italians against the Austrians, eight or nine young men, who were being hunted by the authorities, hid inside Donatello’s wooden horse in the Salone at Padua and stayed there for five days, being fed through the trap door on the back of the horse with the help of the custodian of the Salone. They were probably let out at night for a bit. When the search cooled down, their friends helped them escape. One of those who was hidden away was still alive in 1898 and, during the jubilee celebrations, was paraded around the town in triumph.

Eumaeus and Lord Burleigh

The inference which Arthur Platt (Journal of Philology, Vol. 24, No. 47) wishes to draw from Eumaeus being told to bring Ulysses’ bow ἀνὰ δώματα (Od. XXI. 234) suggests to met to me the difference which some people in future ages may wish to draw between the character of Lord Burleigh’s steps in Tennyson’s poem, according as he was walking up or pacing down.  Wherefrom also the critic will argue that the scene of Lord Burleigh’s weeping must have been on an inclined plane.

The conclusion that Arthur Platt (Journal of Philology, Vol. 24, No. 47) wants to draw from Eumaeus being asked to bring Ulysses’ bow ἀνὰ δώματα (Od. XXI. 234) makes me think about the distinction that some people in future times might want to make regarding Lord Burleigh’s actions in Tennyson’s poem, depending on whether he was walking up or pacing down. From this, the critic will also argue that the scene of Lord Burleigh weeping must have taken place on an incline.

Weeping, weeping late and early,
   Walking up and pacing down,
Deeply mourned the Lord of Burleigh,
   Burleigh-house by Stamford-town.

Weeping, crying both day and night,
Walking back and forth,
Deeply mourned the Lord of Burleigh,
Burleigh House near Stamford town.

My Reviewers’ Sense of Need

My reviewers felt no sense of need to understand me—if they had they would have developed the mental organism which would have enabled them to do so.  When the time comes that they want to do so they will throw out a little mental pseudopodium without much difficulty.  They threw it out when they wanted to misunderstand me—with a good deal of the pseudo in it, too.

My reviewers felt no need to understand me—if they did, they would have developed the mental framework to do so. When the time comes that they want to understand, they'll extend a little mental reach without much trouble. They did that when they wanted to misunderstand me—with a lot of the fake stuff in it, too.

The Authoress of the Odyssey

The amount of pains which my reviewers have taken to understand this book is not so great as to encourage the belief that they would understand the Odyssey, however much they studied it.  Again, the people who could read the Odyssey without coming to much the same conclusions as mine are not likely to admit that they ought to have done so.

The effort my reviewers put into understanding this book isn't enough to make me think they would grasp the Odyssey, no matter how much they studied it. Furthermore, those who could read the Odyssey and arrive at conclusions similar to mine are probably not going to admit that they should have.

If a man tells me that a house in which I have long lived is inconvenient, not to say unwholesome, and that I have been very stupid in not finding this out for myself, I should be apt in the first instance to tell him that he knew nothing about it, and that I was quite comfortable; by and by, I should begin to be aware that I was not so comfortable as I thought I was, and in the end I should probably make the suggested alterations in my house if, on reflection, I found them sensibly conceived.  But I should kick hard at first.

If someone tells me that the house I've been living in for a long time is inconvenient, if not unhealthy, and that I've been foolish for not realizing this myself, my first reaction would probably be to insist that they don't know what they're talking about and that I'm really comfortable here. Eventually, though, I’d start to realize that I might not be as comfortable as I thought, and in the end, I might actually make the changes they suggested if, after thinking it over, I find them reasonable. But I'll definitely resist at first.

Homer and his Commentators

Homeric commentators have been blind so long that nothing will do for them but Homer must be blind too.  They have transferred their own blindness to the poet.

Homeric commentators have been blind for so long that nothing can convince them unless Homer is blind too. They've projected their own blindness onto the poet.

The Iliad

In the Iliad, civilisation bursts upon us as a strong stream out of a rock.  We know that the water has gathered from many a distant vein underground, but we do not see these.  Or it is like the drawing up the curtain on the opening of a play—the scene is then first revealed.

In the Iliad, civilization comes at us like a powerful stream flowing from a rock. We know that the water has collected from various distant sources underground, but we don’t see them. Or it's like pulling back the curtain to reveal the start of a play—the scene is shown for the first time.

Glacial Periods of Folly

The moraines left by secular glacial periods of folly stretch out over many a plain of our civilisation.  So in the Odyssey, especially in the second twelve books, whenever any one eats meat it is called “sacrificing” it, as though we were descended from a race that did not eat meat.  Then it was said that meat might be eaten if one did not eat the life.  What was the life?  Clearly the blood, for when you stick a pig it lives till the blood is gone.  You must sacrifice the blood, therefore, to the gods, but so long as you abstain from things strangled and from blood, and so long as you call it sacrificing, you may eat as much meat as you please.

The remnants left by long past glacial periods spread across many plains of our civilization. In the Odyssey, especially in the second set of twelve books, whenever someone eats meat, it’s referred to as “sacrificing” it, as if we came from a lineage that didn’t consume meat. Back then, it was said that meat could be eaten as long as one didn’t consume the life. What was the life? Clearly, it was the blood, since when you kill a pig, it stays alive until the blood is out. You must sacrifice the blood to the gods, but as long as you avoid strangled animals and blood, and as long as you call it sacrificing, you can eat as much meat as you want.

What a mountain of lies—what a huge geological formation of falsehood, with displacement of all kinds, and strata twisted every conceivable way, must have accreted before the Odyssey was possible!

What a mountain of lies—what a massive collection of falsehoods, with all sorts of distortions and layers twisted every possible way, must have built up before the Odyssey could happen!

Translations from Verse into Prose

Whenever this is attempted, great licence must be allowed to the translator in getting rid of all those poetical common forms which are foreign to the genius of prose.  If the work is to be translated into prose, let it be into such prose as we write and speak among ourselves.  A volume of poetical prose, i.e. affected prose, had better be in verse outright at once.  Poetical prose is never tolerable for more than a very short bit at a time.  And it may be questioned whether poetry itself is not better kept short in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred.

Whenever this is tried, the translator should have a lot of freedom to eliminate all those poetic clichés that don't fit the nature of prose. If the work is meant to be translated into prose, it should be in the kind of prose we use when we talk and write in everyday life. A collection of poetic prose—meaning overly stylized prose—would be better off as straight-up poetry from the start. Poetic prose is usually only bearable for short passages. And it's worth considering whether poetry itself should be kept concise in ninety-nine out of a hundred instances.

Translating the Odyssey

If you wish to preserve the spirit of a dead author, you must not skin him, stuff him, and set him up in a case.  You must eat him, digest him and let him live in you, with such life as you have, for better or worse.  The difference between the Andrew Lang manner of translating the Odyssey and mine is that between making a mummy and a baby.  He tries to preserve a corpse (for the Odyssey is a corpse to all who need Lang’s translation), whereas I try to originate a new life and one that is instinct (as far as I can effect this) with the spirit though not the form of the original.

If you want to keep the essence of a deceased author alive, you can't just skin, stuff, and display them as a trophy. You have to absorb their work and let it live through you, with the life you have, for better or worse. The difference between Andrew Lang's approach to translating the Odyssey and mine is like the difference between preserving a mummy and nurturing a baby. He works to keep a lifeless body intact (since the Odyssey becomes lifeless to anyone who relies on Lang’s translation), while I aim to create a new life that, as much as I can, captures the spirit without merely replicating the form of the original.

They say no woman could possibly have written the Odyssey.  To me, on the other hand, it seems even less possible that a man could have done so.  As for its being by a practised and elderly writer, nothing but youth and inexperience could produce anything so naïve and so lovely.  That is where the work will suffer by my translation.  I am male, practised and elderly, and the trail of sex, age and experience is certain to be over my translation.  If the poem is ever to be well translated, it must be by some high-spirited English girl who has been brought up at Athens and who, therefore, has not been jaded by academic study of the language.

They say no woman could have possibly written the Odyssey. To me, though, it seems even less likely that a man could have done it. As for it being by an experienced and older writer, only youth and inexperience could create something so naïve and beautiful. That’s where my translation will fall short. I’m male, experienced, and older, so my translation will definitely reflect my gender, age, and background. If the poem is ever going to be well translated, it needs to be done by an enthusiastic English girl who has grown up in Athens and hasn’t been worn out by the academic study of the language.

A translation is at best a dislocation, a translation from verse to prose is a double dislocation and corresponding further dislocations are necessary if an effect of deformity is to be avoided.

A translation is, at its best, a disruption; translating from verse to prose creates an additional disruption, and further adjustments are needed to avoid any sense of distortion.

The people who, when they read “Athene” translated by “Minerva,” cannot bear in mind that every Athene varies more or less with, and takes colour from, the country and temperament of the writer who is being translated, will not be greatly helped by translating “Athene” and not “Minerva.”  Besides many readers would pronounce the word as a dissyllable or an anapæst.

The people who, when they read “Athene” translated as “Minerva,” can’t remember that every Athene changes a bit and takes on the flavor of the country and temperament of the writer being translated, won’t be much better off translating “Athene” instead of “Minerva.” Plus, many readers would pronounce it as a two-syllable word or in an anapestic rhythm.

The Odyssey and a Tomb at Carcassonne

There is a tomb at some place in France, I think at Carcassonne, on which there is some sculpture representing the friends and relations of the deceased in paroxysms of grief with their cheeks all cracked, and crying like Gaudenzio’s angels on the Sacro Monte at Varallo-Sesia.  Round the corner, however, just out of sight till one searches, there is a man holding both his sides and splitting with laughter.  In some parts of the Odyssey, especially about Ulysses and Penelope, I fancy that laughing man as being round the corner.  [Oct. 1891.]

There’s a tomb somewhere in France, I believe in Carcassonne, featuring a sculpture that shows the friends and family of the deceased in intense grief, with their cheeks all sunken and crying like Gaudenzio’s angels at Sacro Monte in Varallo-Sesia. However, just around the corner, barely visible until you really look, there’s a man holding his sides and bursting with laughter. In certain parts of the Odyssey, especially those involving Ulysses and Penelope, I imagine that laughing man as being just around the corner. [Oct. 1891.]

Getting it Wrong

Zeffirino Carestia, a sculptor, told me we had a great sculptor in England named Simpson.  I demurred, and asked about his work.  It seemed he had made a monument to Nelson in Westminster Abbey.  Of course I saw he meant Stevens, who had made a monument to Wellington in St. Paul’s.  I cross-questioned him and found I was right.

Zeffirino Carestia, a sculptor, mentioned that we had a great sculptor in England named Simpson. I disagreed and asked about his work. It turned out that he had created a monument to Nelson in Westminster Abbey. Of course, I realized he meant Stevens, who had made a monument to Wellington in St. Paul’s. I pressed further and confirmed that I was correct.

Suppose that in some ancient writer I had come upon a similar error about which I felt no less certain than I did here, ought I to be debarred from my conclusion merely by the accident that I have not the wretched muddler at my elbow and cannot ask him personally?  People are always getting things wrong.  It is the critic’s business to know how and when to believe on insufficient evidence and to know how far to go in the matter of setting people right without going too far; the question of what is too far and what is sufficient evidence can only be settled by the higgling and haggling of the literary market.

Suppose I had found a similar mistake in some ancient text that I felt just as sure about as I do here. Should I be prevented from reaching my conclusion just because I don't have that clueless writer next to me to ask directly? People frequently get things wrong. It's the critic's role to understand how and when to believe things based on limited evidence and to know how far to go in correcting others without overstepping. The question of what counts as overstepping and what qualifies as sufficient evidence can only be determined through the back-and-forth of the literary marketplace.

So I justify my emendation of the “grotta del toro” at Trapani.  [The Authoress of the Odyssey, Chap. VIII.]  “Il toro macigna un tesoro di oro.”  [The bull is grinding a treasure of gold] in the grotto in which (for other reasons) I am convinced Ulysses hid the gifts the Phœacians had given him.  And so the grotto is called “La grotta del toro” [The grotto of the bull].  I make no doubt it was originally called “La grotta del tesoro” [The grotto of the treasure], but children got it wrong, and corrupted “tesoro” into “toro”; then, it being known that the “tesoro” was in it somehow, the “toro” was made to grind the “tesoro.”

So I explain my edit of the “grotta del toro” at Trapani. [The Authoress of the Odyssey, Chap. VIII.] “Il toro macigna un tesoro di oro.” [The bull is grinding a treasure of gold] in the cave where (for other reasons) I firmly believe Ulysses hid the gifts the Phaeacians gave him. That’s why the cave is called “La grotta del toro” [The grotto of the bull]. I’m sure it was originally called “La grotta del tesoro” [The grotto of the treasure], but kids mispronounced it and turned “tesoro” into “toro”; then, since it was known that the “tesoro” was in there somehow, the “toro” was made to grind the “tesoro.”

p. 200XIII
Unprofessional Sermons

Righteousness

According to Mr. Matthew Arnold, as we find the highest traditions of grace, beauty and the heroic virtues among the Greeks and Romans, so we derive our highest ideal of righteousness from Jewish sources.  Righteousness was to the Jew what strength and beauty were to the Greek or fortitude to the Roman.

According to Mr. Matthew Arnold, just as we discover the greatest traditions of grace, beauty, and heroic virtues in the Greeks and Romans, we also get our highest ideals of righteousness from Jewish sources. Righteousness held the same significance for the Jew as strength and beauty did for the Greek or courage did for the Roman.

This sounds well, but can we think that the Jews taken as a nation were really more righteous than the Greeks and Romans?  Could they indeed be so if they were less strong, graceful and enduring?  In some respects they may have been—every nation has its strong points—but surely there has been a nearly unanimous verdict for many generations that the typical Greek or Roman is a higher, nobler person than the typical Jew—and this referring not to the modern Jew, who may perhaps he held to have been injured by centuries of oppression, but to the Hebrew of the time of the old prophets and of the most prosperous eras in the history of the nation.  If three men could be set before us as the most perfect Greek, Roman and Jew respectively, and if we could choose which we would have our only son most resemble, is it not likely we should find ourselves preferring the Greek or Roman to the Jew?  And does not this involve that we hold the two former to be the more righteous in a broad sense of the word?

This sounds good, but can we really believe that the Jews, as a nation, were more righteous than the Greeks and Romans? Could they truly be so if they were less strong, graceful, and enduring? In some ways, they might have been—every nation has its strengths—but surely there has been a nearly unanimous opinion for many generations that the typical Greek or Roman is a higher, nobler individual than the typical Jew. This isn't referring to the modern Jew, who may be seen as having been harmed by centuries of oppression, but to the Hebrews of the time of the old prophets and the most prosperous periods in their nation's history. If three men could be presented to us as the most perfect Greek, Roman, and Jew, respectively, and if we could choose which one we would want our only son to resemble, isn’t it likely that we would prefer the Greek or Roman over the Jew? And doesn’t that suggest we view the former two as more righteous in a broad sense?

I dare not say that we owe no benefits to the Jewish nation, I do not feel sure whether we do or do not, but I can see no good thing that I can point to as a notoriously Hebrew contribution to our moral and intellectual well-being as I can point to our law and say that it is Roman, or to our fine arts and say that they are based on what the Greeks and Italians taught us.  On the contrary, if asked what feature of post-Christian life we had derived most distinctly from Hebrew sources I should say at once “intolerance”—the desire to dogmatise about matters whereon the Greek and Roman held certainty to be at once unimportant and unattainable.  This, with all its train of bloodshed and family disunion, is chargeable to the Jewish rather than to any other account.

I can’t say that we don’t owe anything to the Jewish nation. I’m not really sure if we do or not, but I can’t point to any significant Hebrew contribution to our moral and intellectual well-being like I can with our law, which is Roman, or our fine arts, which are based on what the Greeks and Italians taught us. On the contrary, if someone asked me what aspect of post-Christian life we got most clearly from Hebrew sources, I would immediately say "intolerance"—the urge to be dogmatic about things that the Greeks and Romans considered unimportant and unachievable. This, along with all its consequences of violence and family strife, can be attributed more to the Jewish influence than to anyone else.

There is yet another vice which occurs readily to any one who reckons up the characteristics which we derive mainly from the Jews; it is one that we call, after a Jewish sect, “Pharisaism.”  I do not mean to say that no Greek or Roman was ever a sanctimonious hypocrite, still, sanctimoniousness does not readily enter into our notions of Greeks and Romans and it does so enter into our notions of the old Hebrews.  Of course, we are all of us sanctimonious sometimes; Horace himself is so when he talks about aurum irrepertum et sic melius situm, and as for Virgil he was a prig, pure and simple; still, on the whole, sanctimoniousness was not a Greek and Roman vice and it was a Hebrew one.  True, they stoned their prophets freely; but these are not the Hebrews to whom Mr. Arnold is referring, they are the ones whom it is the custom to leave out of sight and out of mind as far as possible, so that they should hardly count as Hebrews at all, and none of our characteristics should be ascribed to them.

There’s another vice that comes to mind when we think about the traits we mainly get from the Jews; it’s something we call “Pharisaism,” named after a Jewish sect. I’m not saying that no Greek or Roman was ever a self-righteous hypocrite, but being self-righteous isn’t something we typically associate with Greeks and Romans—whereas it definitely is with the old Hebrews. Sure, we all act self-righteous sometimes; even Horace does when he talks about aurum irrepertum et sic melius situm, and Virgil was a complete prig. Still, overall, self-righteousness wasn’t a Greek or Roman vice—it was a Hebrew one. True, they often stoned their prophets; but those aren’t the Hebrews Mr. Arnold is talking about. He’s referring to the ones we usually try to forget about, so much so that they barely count as Hebrews at all, and we don’t attribute any of our traits to them.

Taking their literature I cannot see that it deserves the praises that have been lavished upon it.  The Song of Solomon and the book of Esther are the most interesting in the Old Testament, but these are the very ones that make the smallest pretensions to holiness, and even these are neither of them of very transcendent merit.  They would stand no chance of being accepted by Messrs. Cassell and Co. or by any biblical publisher of the present day.  Chatto and Windus might take the Song of Solomon, but, with this exception, I doubt if there is a publisher in London who would give a guinea for the pair.  Ecclesiastes contains some fine things but is strongly tinged with pessimism, cynicism and affectation.  Some of the Proverbs are good, but not many of them are in common use.  Job contains some fine passages, and so do some of the Psalms; but the Psalms generally are poor and, for the most part, querulous, spiteful and introspective into the bargain.  Mudie would not take thirteen copies of the lot if they were to appear now for the first time—unless indeed their royal authorship were to arouse an adventitious interest in them, or unless the author were a rich man who played his cards judiciously with the reviewers.  As for the prophets—we know what appears to have been the opinion formed concerning them by those who should have been best acquainted with them; I am no judge as to the merits of the controversy between them and their fellow-countrymen, but I have read their works and am of opinion that they will not hold their own against such masterpieces of modern literature as, we will say, The Pilgrim’s Progress, Robinson Crusoe, Gulliver’s Travels or Tom Jones.  “Whether there be prophecies,” exclaims the Apostle, “they shall fail.”  On the whole I should say that Isaiah and Jeremiah must be held to have failed.

Taking their literature, I can't see that it deserves the praise it’s received. The Song of Solomon and the book of Esther are the most interesting in the Old Testament, but these are the ones that claim the least holiness, and even they aren’t particularly outstanding. They wouldn’t stand a chance of being accepted by Cassell and Co. or any biblical publisher today. Chatto and Windus might consider the Song of Solomon, but aside from that, I doubt there’s a publisher in London who would pay a guinea for the pair. Ecclesiastes has some good parts, but it’s heavily laced with pessimism, cynicism, and pretentiousness. Some of the Proverbs are good, but not many commonly used. Job has some beautiful passages, and the Psalms do too; however, the Psalms overall are weak and mostly whiny, spiteful, and introspective as well. Mudie wouldn’t take thirteen copies of the whole lot if they were published now for the first time—unless, of course, their royal authorship sparked some interest, or if the author were wealthy and played his cards right with the reviewers. As for the prophets—we know what those who should know them best seem to think; I’m no expert on the debate between them and their fellow countrymen, but I’ve read their works and believe they won’t stand up against modern classics like, say, The Pilgrim’s Progress, Robinson Crusoe, Gulliver’s Travels, or Tom Jones. “Whether there be prophecies,” exclaims the Apostle, “they shall fail.” Overall, I’d say Isaiah and Jeremiah must be viewed as failures.

I would join issue with Mr. Matthew Arnold on yet another point.  I understand him to imply that righteousness should be a man’s highest aim in life.  I do not like setting up righteousness, nor yet anything else, as the highest aim in life; a man should have any number of little aims about which he should be conscious and for which he should have names, but he should have neither name for, nor consciousness concerning the main aim of his life.  Whatever we do we must try and do it rightly—this is obvious—but righteousness implies something much more than this: it conveys to our minds not only the desire to get whatever we have taken in hand as nearly right as possible, but also the general reference of our lives to the supposed will of an unseen but supreme power.  Granted that there is such a power, and granted that we should obey its will, we are the more likely to do this the less we concern ourselves about the matter and the more we confine our attention to the things immediately round about us which seem, so to speak, entrusted to us as the natural and legitimate sphere of our activity.  I believe a man will get the most useful information on these matters from modern European sources; next to these he will get most from Athens and ancient Rome.  Mr. Matthew Arnold notwithstanding, I do not think he will get anything from Jerusalem which he will not find better and more easily elsewhere.  [1883.]

I have a different opinion than Mr. Matthew Arnold on another point. I understand him to suggest that righteousness should be a person's highest aim in life. I’m not a fan of making righteousness, or anything else, the ultimate goal in life; a person should have plenty of smaller goals that they are aware of and can name, but there shouldn't be any name for, or awareness of, the main goal of their life. Whatever we do, we should try to do it right—this is obvious—but righteousness means something much deeper: it not only reflects the desire to do whatever we take on as correctly as possible, but also connects our lives to the perceived will of an unseen but powerful force. Assuming such a force exists and that we should follow its will, we’re more likely to do this if we focus less on it and more on the immediate things around us that seem, in a way, to be entrusted to us as the natural and rightful area of our activity. I think a person will find the most useful information on these topics from modern European sources; after that, they’ll learn the most from Athens and ancient Rome. Despite Mr. Matthew Arnold's views, I don’t believe they’ll find anything from Jerusalem that they can’t find better and more easily elsewhere. [1883.]

Wisdom

But where shall wisdom be found? (Job xxviii. 12).

But where can wisdom be found? (Job xxviii. 12).

If the writer of these words meant exactly what he said, he had so little wisdom that he might well seek more.  He should have known that wisdom spends most of her time crying in the streets and public-houses, and he should have gone thither to look for her.  It is written:

If the author of these words meant exactly what he said, he showed such a lack of wisdom that he could definitely use some more. He should have realized that wisdom often hangs out in the streets and pubs, and he should have gone there to find her. It is written:

“Wisdom crieth without; she uttereth her voice in the streets:

“Wisdom calls out in the open; she raises her voice in the streets:

“She crieth in the chief place of concourse, in the openings of the gates: in the city she uttereth her words” (Prov. i. 20, 21.)

“She cries out in the main part of the city, at the entrances of the gates: in the city, she speaks her words” (Prov. i. 20, 21.)

If however he meant rather “Where shall wisdom be regarded?” this, again, is not a very sensible question.  People have had wisdom before them for some time, and they may be presumed to be the best judges of their own affairs, yet they do not generally show much regard for wisdom.  We may conclude, therefore, that they have found her less profitable than by her own estimate she would appear to be.  This indeed is what one of the wisest men who ever lived—the author of the Book of Ecclesiastes—definitely concludes to be the case, when he tells his readers that they had better not overdo either their virtue or their wisdom.  They must not, on the other hand, overdo their wickedness nor, presumably, their ignorance, still the writer evidently thinks that error is safer on the side of too little than of too much. [203]

If he was asking, “Where should wisdom be valued?” that’s still not a very sensible question. People have had wisdom available to them for a long time, and they can probably judge their own situations best, yet they don’t usually show much appreciation for wisdom. So, we can conclude that they’ve found it to be less beneficial than it seems. This is exactly what one of the wisest people who ever lived—the author of the Book of Ecclesiastes—concludes when he advises his readers not to push too hard on either virtue or wisdom. On the flip side, they shouldn’t go overboard with their wickedness or, presumably, their ignorance, but the author clearly believes that it’s safer to err on the side of having too little rather than too much. [203]

Reflection will show that this must always have been true, and must always remain so, for this is the side on which error is both least disastrous and offers most place for repentance.  He who finds himself inconvenienced by knowing too little can go to the British Museum, or to the Working Men’s College, and learn more; but when a thing is once well learnt it is even harder to unlearn it than it was to learn it.  Would it be possible to unlearn the art of speech or the arts of reading and writing even if we wished to do so?  Wisdom and knowledge are, like a bad reputation, more easily won than lost; we got on fairly well without knowing that the earth went round the sun; we thought the sun went round the earth until we found it made us uncomfortable to think so any longer, then we altered our opinion; it was not very easy to alter it, but it was easier than it would be to alter it back again.  Vestigia nulla retrorsum; the earth itself does not pursue its course more steadily than mind does when it has once committed itself, and if we could see the movements of the stars in slow time we should probably find that there was much more throb and tremor in detail than we can take note of.

Reflection will show that this has always been true and will always remain true because this is the side where mistakes are both less damaging and provide the most opportunity for change. Someone who feels hindered by not knowing enough can easily go to the British Museum or the Working Men’s College to learn more; however, once something is well learned, it’s even harder to unlearn it than it was to learn it in the first place. Is it possible to unlearn how to speak or how to read and write, even if we wanted to? Wisdom and knowledge, like a bad reputation, are much easier to gain than to lose; we managed fine without knowing that the earth revolves around the sun. We used to believe the sun revolved around the earth until it became uncomfortable to think that way, so we changed our minds; it wasn’t easy to change, but it would be even harder to change it back. Vestigia nulla retrorsum; the earth itself doesn’t move more steadily in its orbit than the mind does once it has committed to a belief, and if we could observe the stars’ movements in slow motion, we would probably notice much more pulsing and shifting than we can currently perceive.

How, I wonder, will it be if in our pursuit of knowledge we stumble upon some awkward fact as disturbing for the human race as an enquiry into the state of his own finances may sometimes prove to the individual?  The pursuit of knowledge can never be anything but a leap in the dark, and a leap in the dark is a very uncomfortable thing.  I have sometimes thought that if the human race ever loses its ascendancy it will not be through plague, famine or cataclysm, but by getting to know some little microbe, as it were, of knowledge which shall get into its system and breed there till it makes an end of us. [204]  It is well, therefore, that there should be a substratum of mankind who cannot by any inducement be persuaded to know anything whatever at all, and who are resolutely determined to know nothing among us but what the parson tells them, and not to be too sure even about that.

How, I wonder, will it be if in our quest for knowledge we stumble upon some uncomfortable fact as unsettling for humanity as looking into one's own finances can sometimes be for an individual? The pursuit of knowledge can never be anything but a leap into the unknown, and a leap into the unknown is a very unsettling thing. I have sometimes thought that if humanity ever loses its dominance, it won't be due to disease, famine, or disaster, but by coming to understand some tiny piece of knowledge that slips into our systems and multiplies until it leads to our downfall. [204] It is good, therefore, that there exists a segment of the population who cannot be convinced to learn anything at all, and who are firmly committed to knowing nothing except what the preacher tells them, and not to be too sure about even that.

Whence then cometh wisdom and where is the place of understanding?  How does Job solve his problem?

Whence then comes wisdom and where is the place of understanding? How does Job solve his problem?

“Behold the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom: and to depart from evil is understanding.”

“Look, the fear of the Lord is wisdom; turning away from evil is understanding.”

The answer is all very well as far as it goes, but it only amounts to saying that wisdom is wisdom.  We know no better what the fear of the Lord is than what wisdom is, and we often do not depart from evil simply because we do not know that what we are cleaving to is evil.

The answer is fine as far as it goes, but it just means that wisdom is wisdom. We don’t understand the fear of the Lord any better than we understand wisdom, and we often don’t turn away from evil just because we don’t realize that what we’re holding onto is evil.

Loving and Hating

I have often said that there is no true love short of eating and consequent assimilation; the embryonic processes are but a long course of eating and assimilation—the sperm and germ cells, or the two elements that go to form the new animal, whatever they should be called, eat one another up, and then the mother assimilates them, more or less, through mutual inter-feeding and inter-breeding between her and them.  But the curious point is that the more profound our love is the less we are conscious of it as love.  True, a nurse tells her child that she would like to eat it, but this is only an expression that shows an instinctive recognition of the fact that eating is a mode of, or rather the acme of, love—no nurse loves her child half well enough to want really to eat it; put to such proof as this the love of which she is so profoundly, as she imagines, sentient proves to be but skin deep.  So with our horses and dogs: we think we dote upon them, but we do not really love them.

I’ve often said that there’s no true love without eating and the resulting absorption; the early stages of life are just a lengthy process of eating and absorption—the sperm and egg cells, or the two elements that create a new animal, whatever you want to call them, consume each other, and then the mother absorbs them more or less through mutual feeding and breeding between her and them. The interesting thing is that the deeper our love is, the less we actually recognize it as love. True, a nurse might say she’d like to eat her child, but that’s just a way of instinctively acknowledging that eating is a form of, or rather the ultimate expression of, love—no nurse loves her child well enough to genuinely want to eat it; when put to such a test, the love she believes to be so deep turns out to be only superficial. The same goes for our horses and dogs: we think we adore them, but we don’t really love them.

What, on the other hand, can awaken less consciousness of warm affection than an oyster?  Who would press an oyster to his heart, or pat it and want to kiss it?  Yet nothing short of its complete absorption into our own being can in the least satisfy us.  No merely superficial temporary contact of exterior form to exterior form will serve us.  The embrace must be consummate, not achieved by a mocking environment of draped and muffled arms that leaves no lasting trace on organisation or consciousness, but by an enfolding within the bare and warm bosom of an open mouth—a grinding out of all differences of opinion by the sweet persuasion of the jaws, and the eloquence of a tongue that now convinces all the more powerfully because it is inarticulate and deals but with the one universal language of agglutination.  Then we become made one with what we love—not heart to heart, but protoplasm to protoplasm, and this is far more to the purpose.

What, on the other hand, can spark less awareness of warm affection than an oyster? Who would hold an oyster close to their heart, or touch it gently and feel the urge to kiss it? Yet nothing less than its complete merging into our own being can truly satisfy us. A mere superficial, temporary contact of one exterior to another won't cut it for us. The embrace has to be total, not achieved through a deceptive environment of draped and muffled arms that leaves no lasting impression on our being or awareness, but through an enveloping within the bare and warm embrace of an open mouth—a grinding away of all differences of opinion by the sweet persuasion of jaws, and the eloquence of a tongue that is even more convincing because it is inarticulate and speaks just the one universal language of merging. Then we become one with what we love—not heart to heart, but protoplasm to protoplasm, and that’s much more significant.

The proof of love, then, like that of any other pleasant pudding, is in the eating, and tested by this proof we see that consciousness of love, like all other consciousness vanishes on becoming intense.  While we are yet fully aware of it, we do not love as well as we think we do.  When we really mean business and are hungry with affection, we do not know that we are in love, but simply go into the love-shop—for so any eating-house should be more fitly called—ask the price, pay our money down, and love till we can either love or pay no longer.

The proof of love, like any good dessert, is in the tasting, and by this test, we see that the awareness of love, like all other awareness, fades when it becomes overwhelming. When we are still fully aware of it, we don’t love as well as we think we do. When we truly mean it and are filled with affection, we don’t realize we’re in love; we just head to the love-shop—after all, that's a better name for any eating place—ask how much it costs, pay upfront, and love until we can no longer love or pay.

And so with hate.  When we really hate a thing it makes us sick, and we use this expression to symbolise the utmost hatred of which our nature is capable; but when we know we hate, our hatred is in reality mild and inoffensive.  I, for example, think I hate all those people whose photographs I see in the shop windows, but I am so conscious of this that I am convinced, in reality, nothing would please me better than to be in the shop windows too.  So when I see the universities conferring degrees on any one, or the learned societies moulting the yearly medals as peacocks moult their tails, I am so conscious of disapproval as to feel sure I should like a degree or a medal too if they would only give me one, and hence I conclude that my disapproval is grounded in nothing more serious than a superficial, transient jealousy.

And so it is with hate. When we truly hate something, it makes us feel awful, and we use this phrase to represent the strongest hatred we’re capable of; but when we recognize that we hate, our hatred is actually mild and harmless. For instance, I think I hate all those people whose photos I see in the store windows, but I'm so aware of this that I realize, deep down, I would actually love to be in those store windows too. So when I see universities giving degrees to someone or learned societies handing out their annual medals like peacocks shedding their tail feathers, I feel so aware of my disapproval that I’m sure I would love a degree or a medal too if they would just give me one. Therefore, I conclude that my disapproval is based on nothing more serious than a superficial, temporary jealousy.

The Roman Empire

Nothing will ever die so long as it knows what to do under the circumstances, in other words so long as it knows its business.  The Roman Empire must have died of inexperience of some kind, I should think most likely it was puzzled to death by the Christian religion.  But the question is not so much how the Roman Empire or any other great thing came to an end—everything must come to an end some time, it is only scientists who wonder that a state should die—the interesting question is how did the Romans become so great, under what circumstances were they born and bred?  We should watch childhood and schooldays rather than old age and death-beds.

Nothing will ever truly die as long as it knows how to handle the situation; in other words, as long as it understands its purpose. The Roman Empire likely fell due to some kind of inexperience, probably overwhelmed by the Christian religion. However, the real question isn’t how the Roman Empire or any other significant entity came to an end—because everything eventually does—it’s only scientists who find it surprising that a state can die. The intriguing question is how the Romans became so great and what circumstances shaped their upbringing. We should pay more attention to childhood and education than to old age and death.

As I sit writing on the top of a wild-beast pen of the amphitheatre of Aosta I may note, for one thing, that the Romans were not squeamish, they had no Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals.  Again, their ladies did not write in the newspapers.  Fancy Miss Cato reviewing Horace!  They had no Frances Power Cobbes, no . . . s, no . . . s; yet they seem to have got along quite nicely without these powerful moral engines.  The comeliest and most enjoyable races that we know of were the ancient Greeks, the Italians and the South Sea Islanders, and they have none of them been purists.

As I sit writing on top of a wild animal pen in the Aosta amphitheater, I can point out, for one thing, that the Romans weren't squeamish; they had no Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Also, their women didn't write in newspapers. Imagine Miss Cato reviewing Horace! They had no Frances Power Cobbes, no ...s, no ...s; yet they managed quite well without these powerful moral influences. The most attractive and enjoyable races we know of are the ancient Greeks, the Italians, and the South Sea Islanders, and none of them were purists.

Italians and Englishmen

Italians, and perhaps Frenchmen, consider first whether they like or want to do a thing and then whether, on the whole, it will do them any harm.  Englishmen, and perhaps Germans, consider first whether they ought to like a thing and often never reach the questions whether they do like it and whether it will hurt.  There is much to be said for both systems, but I suppose it is best to combine them as far as possible.

Italians, and maybe French people, first think about whether they like or want to do something, and then consider if, overall, it will cause them any harm. English people, and possibly Germans, first think about whether they should like something and often never get to the points of whether they actually like it and whether it will be harmful. Both approaches have their merits, but I think it’s best to try to combine them as much as possible.

On Knowing what Gives us Pleasure

i

One can bring no greater reproach against a man than to say that he does not set sufficient value upon pleasure, and there is no greater sign of a fool than the thinking that he can tell at once and easily what it is that pleases him.  To know this is not easy, and how to extend our knowledge of it is the highest and the most neglected of all arts and branches of education.  Indeed, if we could solve the difficulty of knowing what gives us pleasure, if we could find its springs, its inception and earliest modus operandi, we should have discovered the secret of life and development, for the same difficulty has attended the development of every sense from touch onwards, and no new sense was ever developed without pains.  A man had better stick to known and proved pleasures, but, if he will venture in quest of new ones, he should not do so with a light heart.

One can’t bring a bigger insult to a man than to say he doesn’t value pleasure enough, and there's no bigger sign of a fool than thinking he can easily and quickly identify what brings him joy. Understanding this isn’t simple, and figuring out how to deepen our comprehension of it is the greatest and most overlooked skill in education. In fact, if we could solve the puzzle of knowing what brings us pleasure, if we could uncover its sources, beginnings, and initial modus operandi, we would have discovered the secret to life and growth, because the same challenge has accompanied the development of every sense from touch onward, and no new sense has ever developed without effort. A man is better off sticking to known and proven pleasures, but if he chooses to seek out new ones, he should do so with caution.

One reason why we find it so hard to know our own likings is because we are so little accustomed to try; we have our likings found for us in respect of by far the greater number of the matters that concern us; thus we have grown all our limbs on the strength of the likings of our ancestors and adopt these without question.

One reason we struggle to understand our own preferences is that we're not used to exploring them. Most of the things that matter to us have our preferences handed to us, so we've developed our tastes based on what our ancestors liked and accepted these without questioning.

Another reason is that, except in mere matters of eating and drinking, people do not realise the importance of finding out what it is that gives them pleasure if, that is to say, they would make themselves as comfortable here as they reasonably can.  Very few, however, seem to care greatly whether they are comfortable or no.  There are some men so ignorant and careless of what gives them pleasure that they cannot be said ever to have been really born as living beings at all.  They present some of the phenomena of having been born—they reproduce, in fact, so many of the ideas which we associate with having been born that it is hard not to think of them as living beings—but in spite of all appearances the central idea is wanting.  At least one half of the misery which meets us daily might be removed or, at any rate, greatly alleviated, if those who suffer by it would think it worth their while to be at any pains to get rid of it.  That they do not so think is proof that they neither know, nor care to know, more than in a very languid way, what it is that will relieve them most effectually or, in other words, that the shoe does not really pinch them so hard as we think it does.  For when it really pinches, as when a man is being flogged, he will seek relief by any means in his power.  So my great namesake said, “Surely the pleasure is as great Of being cheated as to cheat”; and so, again, I remember to have seen a poem many years ago in Punch according to which a certain young lady, being discontented at home, went out into the world in quest to “Some burden make or burden bear, But which she did not greatly care—Oh Miseree!”  So long as there was discomfort somewhere it was all right.

Another reason is that, except for basic things like eating and drinking, people don't realize how important it is to figure out what brings them joy if they actually want to feel as comfortable as possible here. However, very few seem to really care whether they're comfortable or not. There are some people so clueless and indifferent about what brings them pleasure that they can't truly be considered to have ever lived at all. They show some signs of being alive—they reproduce and echo many ideas we associate with being born—but despite all appearances, the essential essence is missing. At least half of the suffering we encounter daily could be eased or at least significantly reduced if those who are in pain thought it was worth their time to try to alleviate it. The fact that they don't is proof that they don't know, nor do they care to know, more than in a very half-hearted way, what will truly help them, or in other words, that the discomfort isn't really as bad as we believe. Because when it really hurts, like when someone is being whipped, they will look for relief by any means possible. So my well-known namesake said, “Surely the pleasure is as great Of being cheated as to cheat”; and I also recall seeing a poem many years ago in Punch where a certain young lady, unhappy at home, went out into the world in search of “Some burden to make or bear, But which she did not greatly care—Oh Miseree!” As long as there was discomfort somewhere, it was all good.

To those, however, who are desirous of knowing what gives them pleasure but do not quite know how to set about it I have no better advice to give than that they must take the same pains about acquiring this difficult art as about any other, and must acquire it in the same way—that is by attending to one thing at a time and not being in too great a hurry.  Proficiency is not to be attained here, any more than elsewhere, by short cuts or by getting other people to do work that no other than oneself can do.  Above all things it is necessary here, as in all other branches of study, not to think we know a thing before we do know it—to make sure of our ground and be quite certain that we really do like a thing before we say we do.  When you cannot decide whether you like a thing or not, nothing is easier than to say so and to hang it up among the uncertainties.  Or when you know you do not know and are in such doubt as to see no chance of deciding, then you may take one side or the other provisionally and throw yourself into it.  This will sometimes make you uncomfortable, and you will feel you have taken the wrong side and thus learn that the other was the right one.  Sometimes you will feel you have done right.  Any way ere long you will know more about it.  But there must have been a secret treaty with yourself to the effect that the decision was provisional only.  For, after all, the most important first principle in this matter is the not lightly thinking you know what you like till you have made sure of your ground.  I was nearly forty before I felt how stupid it was to pretend to know things that I did not know and I still often catch myself doing so.  Not one of my school-masters taught me this, but altogether otherwise.

To those who want to understand what brings them joy but aren't sure how to figure it out, my best advice is to approach this tricky skill like you would any other: by focusing on one thing at a time and not rushing through it. You won't get better at this any faster than you would at anything else by taking shortcuts or letting others do the work that only you can do. It's crucial, as in all areas of learning, to avoid assuming you know something before you actually do. Make sure you really like something before you claim you do. When you're unsure if you like something, it's easy to say you don't know and leave it up in the air. Or if you realize you don’t know and feel uncertain about being able to decide, pick a side temporarily and dive into it. This might make you uncomfortable, and you may feel like you chose the wrong side, helping you to recognize that the other one was right. Sometimes, you’ll feel like you did the right thing. Either way, you’ll learn more in time. Just remember, you need to have a personal agreement that your decision is only temporary. Ultimately, the most important principle here is not to trick yourself into thinking you know what you like until you've truly confirmed your feelings. I was nearly forty when I realized how foolish it was to claim knowledge about things I didn’t understand, and I still catch myself doing it often. Not one of my teachers ever pointed this out to me; quite the opposite, in fact.

ii

I should like to like Schumann’s music better than I do; I dare say I could make myself like it better if I tried; but I do not like having to try to make myself like things; I like things that make me like them at once and no trying at all.

I wish I liked Schumann’s music more than I do; I bet I could train myself to enjoy it if I put in the effort; but I don’t like forcing myself to like things. I prefer things that grab me immediately without any effort.

iii

To know whether you are enjoying a piece of music or not you must see whether you find yourself looking at the advertisements of Pear’s soap at the end of the programme.

To figure out if you’re enjoying a piece of music, you should notice if you’re checking out the Pear’s soap ads at the end of the show.

De Minimis non Curat Lex

i

Yes, but what is a minimum?  Sometimes a maximum is a minimum, and sometimes the other way about.  If you know you know, and if you don’t you don’t.

Yes, but what exactly is a minimum? Sometimes a maximum serves as a minimum, and other times it's the opposite. If you know, you know; if you don’t, you don’t.

ii

Yes, but what is a minimum?  So increased material weight involves increased moral weight, but where does there begin to be any weight at all?  There is a miracle somewhere.  At the point where two very large nothings have united to form a very little something.

Yes, but what’s the minimum? So, increasing material weight means increasing moral weight, but where does any weight actually start? There’s a miracle somewhere. It's at the moment when two huge nothings come together to create a tiny something.

iii

There is no such complete assimilation as assimilation of rhythm.  In fact it is in assimilation of rhythm that what we see as assimilation consists.

There isn't any kind of complete blending like the blending of rhythm. In fact, it's in the blending of rhythm that what we recognize as assimilation truly lies.

When two liquid bodies come together with nearly the same rhythms, as, say, two tumblers of water, differing but very slightly, the two assimilate rapidly—becoming homogeneous throughout.  So with wine and water which assimilate, or at any rate form a new homogeneous substance, very rapidly.  Not so with oil and water.  Still, I should like to know whether it would not be possible to have so much water and so little oil that the water would in time absorb the oil.

When two bodies of liquid come together with nearly the same rhythms, like two glasses of water that differ only slightly, they quickly mix and become uniform throughout. The same happens with wine and water, which blend or create a new uniform substance very quickly. This isn’t the case with oil and water. Still, I wonder if it would be possible to have a large enough amount of water and a small enough amount of oil that eventually the water would absorb the oil.

I have not thought about it, but it seems as though the maxim de minimis non curat lex—the fact that a wrong, a contradiction in terms, a violation of all our ordinary canons does not matter and should be brushed aside—it seems as though this maxim went very low down in the scale of nature, as though it were the one principle rendering combination (integration) and, I suppose, dissolution (disintegration) also, possible.  For combination of any kind involves contradiction in terms; it involves a self-stultification on the part of one or more things, more or less complete in both of them.  For one or both cease to be, and to cease to be is to contradict all one’s fundamental axioms or terms.

I haven't thought about it, but it seems like the saying de minimis non curat lex—the idea that a wrong, a contradiction in terms, a violation of all our usual standards doesn't matter and should be overlooked—seems to go really deep in the scale of nature, as if it were the one principle that makes combination (integration) and, I guess, dissolution (disintegration) possible. Because any kind of combination involves a contradiction in terms; it means self-defeating behavior from one or more things, to some degree in both cases. Because one or both stop existing, and to stop existing contradicts all one's fundamental truths or terms.

And this is always going on in the mental world as much as in the material; everything is always changing and stultifying itself more or less completely.  There is no permanence of identity so absolute, either in the physical world, or in our conception of the word “identity,” that it is not crossed with the notion of perpetual change which, pro tanto, destroys identity.  Perfect, absolute identity is like perfect, absolute anything—as near an approach to nothing, or nonsense, as our minds can grasp.  It is, then, in the essence of our conception of identity that nothing should maintain a perfect identity; there is an element of disintegration in the only conception of integration that we can form.

And this is always happening in the mental world just as much as in the physical one; everything is constantly changing and kind of undermining itself. There’s no absolute permanence to identity, either in the physical realm or in our understanding of the term “identity,” that doesn’t get mixed up with the idea of constant change which, pro tanto, destroys identity. Perfect, absolute identity is like perfect, absolute anything—it’s almost like approaching nothingness or nonsense as our minds can grasp. Therefore, it's in the very essence of how we think about identity that nothing can maintain a perfect identity; there’s an aspect of breakdown in the only idea of wholeness that we can create.

What is it, then, that makes this conflict not only possible and bearable but even pleasant?  What is it that so oils the machinery of our thoughts that things which would otherwise cause intolerable friction and heat produce no jar?

What is it, then, that makes this conflict not just possible and manageable but even enjoyable? What is it that smooths out our thoughts so that things which would normally create unbearable tension and discomfort cause no disruption?

Surely it is the principle that a very overwhelming majority rides rough-shod with impunity over a very small minority; that a drop of brandy in a gallon of water is practically no brandy; that a dozen maniacs among a hundred thousand people produce no unsettling effect upon our minds; that a well-written i will go as an i even though the dot be omitted—it seems to me that it is this principle, which is embodied in de minimis non curat lex, that makes it possible that there should be majora and a lex to care about them.  This is saying in another form that association does not stick to the letter of its bond.

Surely the principle is that an overwhelming majority often disregards a small minority without consequence; that a drop of brandy in a gallon of water is essentially no brandy; that a dozen crazies among a hundred thousand people don’t really affect our minds; that a well-written "i" will still be recognized as an "i" even if the dot is missing—it seems to me that it’s this principle, which is captured in de minimis non curat lex, that allows for majora and a lex to matter. This is just another way of saying that association doesn’t strictly adhere to its promises.

Saints

Saints are always grumbling because the world will not take them at their own estimate; so they cry out upon this place and upon that, saying it does not know the things belonging to its peace and that it will be too late soon and that people will be very sorry then that they did not make more of the grumbler, whoever he may be, inasmuch as he will make it hot for them and pay them out generally.

Saints always complain because the world doesn't see them the way they see themselves; so they shout about this place and that, saying it doesn’t recognize what’s necessary for its own well-being and that it will be too late soon. They warn that people will regret not paying more attention to the complainer, whoever that might be, since the complainer will make things difficult for them and get back at them in various ways.

All this means: “Put me in a better social and financial position than I now occupy; give me more of the good things of this life, if not actual money yet authority (which is better loved by most men than even money itself), to reward me because I am to have such an extraordinary good fortune and high position in the world which is to come.”

All this means: “Make my social and financial situation better than it is now; provide me with more of life's pleasures. Give me authority, if not actual money, since most people actually prefer that to money itself, to reward me because I’m about to have such incredible luck and a high status in the life that’s coming.”

When their contemporaries do not see this and tell them that they cannot expect to have it both ways, they lose their tempers, shake the dust from their feet and go sulking off into the wilderness.

When their peers don't understand this and tell them they can't have it both ways, they lose their cool, shake off the dust from their shoes, and sulk off into the wilderness.

This is as regards themselves; to their followers they say: “You must not expect to be able to make the best of both worlds.  The thing is absurd; it cannot be done.  You must choose which you prefer, go in for it and leave the other, for you cannot have both.”

This is about themselves; to their followers they say: “You shouldn’t expect to be able to have the best of both worlds. That idea is ridiculous; it just won’t work. You need to choose what you prefer, fully commit to it, and leave the other behind, because you can’t have both.”

When a saint complains that people do not know the things belonging to their peace, what he really means is that they do not sufficiently care about the things belonging to his own peace.

When a saint says that people don’t understand what leads to their peace, what he really means is that they don’t care enough about what leads to his own peace.

Prayer

i

Lord, let me know mine end, and the number of my days: that I may be certified how long I have to live (Ps. xxxix. 5).

Lord, let me know my end and the number of my days, so I can understand how long I have to live (Ps. xxxix. 5).

Of all prayers this is the insanest.  That the one who uttered it should have made and retained a reputation is a strong argument in favour of his having been surrounded with courtiers.  “Lord, let me not know mine end” would be better, only it would be praying for what God has already granted us.  “Lord, let me know A.B.’s end” would be bad enough.  Even though A.B. were Mr. Gladstone—we might hear he was not to die yet.  “Lord, stop A.B. from knowing my end” would be reasonable, if there were any use in praying that A.B. might not be able to do what he never can do.  Or can the prayer refer to the other end of life?  “Lord, let me know my beginning.”  This again would not be always prudent.

Of all prayers, this one is the craziest. That the person who said it has maintained a reputation is a strong sign that he was around a bunch of yes-men. “Lord, let me not know my end” would be better, but that would just be asking for something God has already given us. “Lord, let me know A.B.’s end” would be bad enough. Even if A.B. was Mr. Gladstone—we might find out he’s not dying anytime soon. “Lord, stop A.B. from knowing my end” would make sense if there was any point in praying for A.B. not to do something he can’t do anyway. Or could the prayer refer to the other end of life? “Lord, let me know my beginning.” This wouldn’t always be wise either.

The prayer is a silly piece of petulance and it would have served the maker of it right to have had it granted.  “A painful and lingering disease followed by death” or “Ninety, a burden to yourself and every one else”—there is not so much to pick and choose between them.  Surely, “I thank thee, O Lord, that thou hast hidden mine end from me” would be better.  The sting of death is in foreknowledge of the when and the how.

The prayer is a trivial act of annoyance, and it would have been fitting for the person who made it to have their wish fulfilled. “A painful and lingering disease followed by death” or “Ninety, a burden to yourself and everyone else”—there's really not much difference between the two. Surely, “I thank you, Lord, that you have kept my end from me” would be better. The pain of death comes from knowing exactly when and how it will happen.

If again he had prayed that he might be able to make his psalms a little more lively, and be saved from becoming the bore which he has been to so many generations of sick persons and young children—or that he might find a publisher for them with greater facility—but there is no end to it.  The prayer he did pray was about the worst he could have prayed and the psalmist, being the psalmist, naturally prayed it—unless I have misquoted him.

If he had prayed again for his psalms to be a bit more engaging, so he wouldn't be such a drag to countless generations of sick people and young kids—or that he could find a publisher for them more easily—but there's really no end to that. The prayer he actually made was probably the worst one he could have chosen, and being the psalmist, he naturally prayed it—unless I’ve misquoted him.

ii

Prayers are to men as dolls are to children.  They are not without use and comfort, but it is not easy to take them very seriously.  I dropped saying mine suddenly once for all without malice prepense, on the night of the 29th of September, 1859, when I went on board the Roman Emperor to sail for New Zealand.  I had said them the night before and doubted not that I was always going to say them as I always had done hitherto.  That night, I suppose, the sense of change was so great that it shook them quietly off.  I was not then a sceptic; I had got as far as disbelief in infant baptism but no further.  I felt no compunction of conscience, however, about leaving off my morning and evening prayers—simply I could no longer say them.

Prayers are to men what dolls are to kids. They have their uses and can be comforting, but it's hard to take them too seriously. I stopped saying mine all at once, without thinking about it, on the night of September 29, 1859, when I boarded the Roman Emperor to sail for New Zealand. I had said my prayers the night before and was sure I would keep doing it as I always had. That night, I think the feeling of change was so overwhelming that it quietly shook them off. I wasn’t a skeptic at that point; I had only moved as far as doubting infant baptism and nothing more. However, I didn’t feel any guilt about stopping my morning and evening prayers—I simply couldn’t bring myself to say them anymore.

iii

Lead us not into temptation (Matt. vi. 13).

Lead us not into temptation (Matt. 6:13).

For example; I am crossing from Calais to Dover and there is a well-known popular preacher on board, say Archdeacon Farrar.

For example, I am traveling from Calais to Dover and there is a famous preacher on board, like Archdeacon Farrar.

I have my camera in my hand and though the sea is rough the sun is brilliant.  I see the archdeacon come on board at Calais and seat himself upon the upper deck, looking as though he had just stepped out of a band-box.  Can I be expected to resist the temptation of snapping him?  Suppose that in the train for an hour before reaching Calais I had said any number of times, “Lead us not into temptation,” is it likely that the archdeacon would have been made to take some other boat or to stay in Calais, or that I myself, by being delayed on my homeward journey, should have been led into some other temptation, though perhaps smaller?  Had I not better snap him and have done with it?  Is there enough chance of good result to make it worth while to try the experiment?  The general consensus of opinion is that there is not.

I have my camera in my hand, and even though the sea is rough, the sun is shining brightly. I see the archdeacon coming on board at Calais and seating himself on the upper deck, looking like he just stepped out of a box. Can I really resist the temptation to snap a picture of him? Suppose that during the hour-long train ride before reaching Calais, I had repeated many times, “Lead us not into temptation.” Is it likely that the archdeacon would have taken another boat or stayed in Calais, or that I, by being delayed on my way home, would have faced another temptation, maybe a smaller one? Shouldn't I just take the picture and be done with it? Is there enough chance of a positive outcome to make it worth trying? The general consensus is that there isn’t.

And as for praying for strength to resist temptation—granted that if, when I saw the archdeacon in the band-box stage, I had immediately prayed for strength I might have been enabled to put the evil thing from me for a time, how long would this have been likely to last when I saw his face grow saintlier and saintlier?  I am an excellent sailor myself, but he is not, and when I see him there, his eyes closed and his head thrown back, like a sleeping St. Joseph in a shovel hat, with a basin beside him, can I expect to be saved from snapping him by such a formula as “Deliver us from evil”?

And when it comes to praying for the strength to resist temptation—let's say that if I had prayed for strength right when I saw the archdeacon in that ridiculous outfit, I might have managed to push the bad thoughts away for a bit. But how long would that really have lasted when I saw his face becoming more and more saintly? I’m a pretty good sailor myself, but he’s not. So when I see him there, eyes closed and head tilted back like a sleeping St. Joseph in a fancy hat, with a bowl next to him, can I really expect to avoid snapping at him just by saying, “Deliver us from evil”?

Is it in photographer’s nature to do so?  When David found himself in the cave with Saul he cut off one of Saul’s coattails; if he had had a camera and there had been enough light he would have photographed him; but would it have been in flesh and blood for him neither to cut off his coat-tail nor to snap him?

Is it in a photographer’s nature to do that? When David was in the cave with Saul, he cut off one of Saul’s coattails; if he had a camera and there was enough light, he would have taken a photo of him; but would it have been more real for him not to cut off his coat-tail or to take his picture?

There is a photographer in every bush, going about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.

There’s a photographer hiding in every bush, moving around like a roaring lion looking for someone to capture.

iv

Teach me to live that I may dread
The grave as little as my bed.

Teach me to live so I fear
The grave as little as my bed.

This is from the evening hymn which all respectable children are taught.  It sounds well, but it is immoral.

This is from the evening hymn that all well-behaved kids are taught. It sounds nice, but it's not right.

Our own death is a premium which we must pay for the far greater benefit we have derived from the fact that so many people have not only lived but also died before us.  For if the old ones had not in course of time gone there would have been no progress; all our civilisation is due to the arrangement whereby no man shall live for ever, and to this huge mass of advantage we must each contribute our mite; that is to say, when our turn comes we too must die.  The hardship is that interested persons should be able to scare us into thinking the change we call death to be the desperate business which they make it out to be.  There is no hardship in having to suffer that change.

Our own death is a cost we have to pay for the much larger benefit we've gained from the fact that so many people have not only lived but also died before us. If the older generations hadn't eventually passed away, there wouldn't have been any progress; our entire civilization is a result of the system where no one lives forever, and we all have to contribute our small part. That means when our time comes, we too have to die. The tough part is that certain people can scare us into believing that the change we call death is the terrible ordeal they make it out to be. But there's nothing hard about going through that change.

Bishop Ken, however, goes too far.  Undesirable, of course, death must always be to those who are fairly well off, but it is undesirable that any living being should live in habitual indifference to death.  The indifference should be kept for worthy occasions, and even then, though death be gladly faced, it is not healthy that it should be faced as though it were a mere undressing and going to bed.

Bishop Ken, however, oversteps. Of course, death is never welcome for those who are reasonably well-off, but it's concerning when any living being becomes routinely indifferent to death. Indifference should be reserved for significant moments, and even then, while death may be met with acceptance, it's unhealthy to treat it as if it's nothing more than taking off your clothes and going to sleep.

p. 215XIV
Higgledy-Piggledy

Preface to Vol. II

On indexing this volume, as with Vols. I and IV which are already indexed and as, no doubt, will be the case with any that I may live to index later, I am alarmed at the triviality of many of these notes, the ineptitude of many and the obvious untenableness of many that I should have done much better to destroy.

On indexing this volume, just like Vols. I and IV which are already indexed and as I’m sure will be the case with any others I might index in the future, I find myself concerned about the trivial nature of many of these notes, the clumsiness of many, and the clear lack of validity of many that I really should have just thrown away.

Elmsley, in one of his letters to Dr. Butler, says that an author is the worst person to put one of his own works through the press (Life of Dr. Butler, I, 88).  It seems to me that he is the worst person also to make selections from his own notes or indeed even, in my case, to write them.  I cannot help it.  They grew as, with little disturbance, they now stand; they are not meant for publication; the bad ones serve as bread for the jam of the good ones; it was less trouble to let them go than to think whether they ought not to be destroyed.  The retort, however, is obvious; no thinking should have been required in respect of many—a glance should have consigned them to the waste-paper basket.  I know it and I know that many a one of those who look over these books—for that they will be looked over by not a few I doubt not—will think me to have been a greater fool than I probably was.  I cannot help it.  I have at any rate the consolation of also knowing that, however much I may have irritated, displeased or disappointed them, they will not be able to tell me so; and I think that, to some, such a record of passing moods and thoughts good, bad and indifferent will be more valuable as throwing light upon the period to which it relates than it would have been if it had been edited with greater judgment.

Elmsley, in one of his letters to Dr. Butler, says that an author is the worst person to handle the publication of their own work (Life of Dr. Butler, I, 88). It seems to me that he’s also the worst person to choose selections from his own notes or even, in my case, to write them. I can’t help it. They grew naturally as they are now, without much interference; they weren’t meant for publication; the bad ones help support the good ones, and it was easier to just let them stay than to decide if they should be thrown away. The comeback is clear, though; no thought should have been needed for many—the mere glance should have sent them to the recycling bin. I know it, and I’m aware that many of those who look through these books—because I have no doubt they will be reviewed by quite a few—might think I was more foolish than I actually was. I can’t help it. At least I take comfort in knowing that, no matter how much I might have annoyed, displeased, or let them down, they won’t be able to tell me so; and I think that, for some, this record of fleeting moods and thoughts, whether good, bad, or indifferent, will be more valuable in shedding light on the time it reflects than if it had been edited with more care.

Besides, Vols. I and IV being already bound, I should not have enough to form Vols. II and III if I cut out all those that ought to be cut out.  [June, 1898.]

Besides, since Volumes I and IV are already bound, I wouldn’t have enough to make Volumes II and III if I remove everything that should be removed. [June, 1898.]

P.S.—If I had re-read my preface to Vol. IV, I need not have written the above.

P.S.—If I had read my preface to Vol. IV again, I wouldn't have needed to write the above.

Waste-Paper Baskets

Every one should keep a mental waste-paper basket and the older he grows the more things he will consign to it—torn up to irrecoverable tatters.

Everyone should have a mental trash can, and as they get older, they'll throw more things into it—shredded beyond repair.

Flies in the Milk-Jug

Saving scraps is like picking flies out of the milk-jug.  We do not mind doing this, I suppose, because we feel sure the flies will never want to borrow money off us.  We do not feel so sure about anything much bigger than a fly.  If it were a mouse that had got into the milk-jug, we should call the cat at once.

Saving scraps is like trying to fish flies out of a jug of milk. We probably don’t mind doing this because we’re pretty sure the flies won’t ever need to borrow money from us. We’re not so sure about anything larger than a fly. If a mouse managed to get into the milk jug, we’d definitely call the cat right away.

My Thoughts

They are like persons met upon a journey; I think them very agreeable at first but soon find, as a rule, that I am tired of them.

They are like people I meet on a journey; I find them quite pleasant at first but usually end up feeling tired of them pretty quickly.

Our Ideas

They are for the most part like bad sixpences and we spend our lives in trying to pass them on one another.

They’re mostly like worthless sixpence coins, and we spend our lives trying to hand them off to each other.

Cat-Ideas and Mouse-Ideas

We can never get rid of mouse-ideas completely, they keep turning up again and again, and nibble, nibble—no matter how often we drive them off.  The best way to keep them down is to have a few good strong cat-ideas which will embrace them and ensure their not reappearing till they do so in another shape.

We can never completely get rid of annoying ideas; they keep coming back over and over, nibbling at us—no matter how often we try to push them away. The best way to keep them at bay is to have a few strong, solid counter-ideas that will contain them and prevent them from resurfacing until they take on a different form.

Incoherency of New Ideas

An idea must not be condemned for being a little shy and incoherent; all new ideas are shy when introduced first among our old ones.  We should have patience and see whether the incoherency is likely to wear off or to wear on, in which latter case the sooner we get rid of them the better.

An idea shouldn’t be dismissed just because it’s a bit timid and unclear; all new ideas are hesitant when they first emerge among our familiar ones. We should be patient and see if the confusion is likely to fade or persist, in which case it’s better to move on from them sooner rather than later.

An Apology for the Devil

It must be remembered that we have only heard one side of the case.  God has written all the books.

It should be noted that we've only heard one side of the story. God has written all the books.

Hallelujah

When we exclaim so triumphantly “Hallelujah! for the Lord God omnipotent reigneth” we only mean that we think no small beer of ourselves, that our God is a much greater God than any one else’s God, that he was our father’s God before us, and that it is all right, respectable and as it should be.

When we confidently shout “Hallelujah! for the Lord God omnipotent reigns,” we really mean that we hold ourselves in high regard, that our God is way greater than anyone else’s God, that He was our father’s God before us, and that everything is just as it should be.

Hating

It does not matter much what a man hates provided he hates something.

It doesn't really matter what a person hates as long as they hate something.

Hamlet, Don Quixote, Mr. Pickwick and others

Hamlet, Don Quixote, Mr. Pickwick, and others

The great characters of fiction live as truly as the memories of dead men.  For the life after death it is not necessary that a man or woman should have lived.

The great characters of fiction exist as vividly as the memories of those who have passed away. For life after death, it's not essential for a man or woman to have lived.

Reputation

The evil that men do lives after them.  Yes, and a good deal of the evil that they never did as well.

The harm people cause lasts long after they're gone. Yes, and a lot of the harm they never caused does too.

Science and Business

The best class of scientific mind is the same as the best class of business mind.  The great desideratum in either case is to know how much evidence is enough to warrant action.  It is as unbusiness-like to want too much evidence before buying or selling as to be content with too little.  The same kind of qualities are wanted in either case.  The difference is that if the business man makes a mistake, he commonly has to suffer for it, whereas it is rarely that scientific blundering, so long as it is confined to theory, entails loss on the blunderer.  On the contrary it very often brings him fame, money and a pension.  Hence the business man, if he is a good one, will take greater care not to overdo or underdo things than the scientific man can reasonably be expected to take.

The best type of scientific mind is the same as the best type of business mind. The key goal in both cases is knowing how much evidence is enough to justify taking action. It’s just as unwise to demand too much evidence before buying or selling as it is to settle for too little. The same qualities are needed in both situations. The main difference is that when a businessperson makes a mistake, they usually face consequences, while scientific errors, as long as they stay theoretical, rarely result in losses for the scientist. In fact, such mistakes often lead to fame, money, and retirement benefits. Therefore, a good businessperson will be more careful not to overdo or underdo things than a scientist can realistically be expected to be.

Scientists

There are two classes, those who want to know and do not care whether others think they know or not, and those who do not much care about knowing but care very greatly about being reputed as knowing.

There are two types of people: those who want to learn and don’t care whether others think they know anything or not, and those who aren’t particularly interested in knowing but really care about being seen as knowledgeable.

Scientific Terminology

This is the Scylla’s cave which men of science are preparing for themselves to be able to pounce out upon us from it, and into which we cannot penetrate.

This is Scylla’s cave, where scientists are getting ready to jump out at us from inside, and it’s a place we can’t get into.

Scientists and Drapers

Why should the botanist, geologist or other-ist give himself such airs over the draper’s assistant?  Is it because he names his plants or specimens with Latin names and divides them into genera and species, whereas the draper does not formulate his classifications, or at any rate only uses his mother tongue when he does?  Yet how like the sub-divisions of textile life are to those of the animal and vegetable kingdoms!  A few great families—cotton, linen, hempen, woollen, silk, mohair, alpaca—into what an infinite variety of genera and species do not these great families subdivide themselves?  And does it take less labour, with less intelligence, to master all these and to acquire familiarity with their various habits, habitats and prices than it does to master the details of any other great branch of science?  I do not know.  But when I think of Shoolbred’s on the one hand and, say, the ornithological collections of the British Museum upon the other, I feel as though it would take me less trouble to master the second than the first.

Why should the botanist, geologist, or any other specialist feel superior to the draper’s assistant? Is it because the botanist uses Latin names for his plants and categorizes them into genera and species, while the draper doesn’t create classifications and only uses his native language when he does? Yet how similar the categories of textiles are to those in the animal and plant kingdoms! A few major families—cotton, linen, hemp, wool, silk, mohair, alpaca—break down into an endless variety of genera and species, don’t they? And does it require less effort and intelligence to understand all these and become familiar with their different habits, habitats, and prices than it does to grasp the details of any other major field of science? I’m not sure. But when I compare Shoolbred’s, on one hand, with the ornithological collections at the British Museum, I feel like it would take me less effort to understand the latter than the former.

Men of Science

If they are worthy of the name they are indeed about God’s path and about his bed and spying out all his ways.

If they deserve the title, they are truly focused on God's path, His dwelling, and observing all His ways.

Sparks

Everything matters more than we think it does, and, at the same time, nothing matters so much as we think it does.  The merest spark may set all Europe in a blaze, but though all Europe be set in a blaze twenty times over, the world will wag itself right again.

Everything matters more than we realize, and at the same time, nothing matters as much as we believe it does. A tiny spark can ignite all of Europe, but even if all of Europe were ablaze twenty times over, the world will eventually find its way back to normal.

Dumb-Bells

I regard them with suspicion as academic.

I view them with skepticism as scholarly.

Purgatory

Time is the only true purgatory.

Time is the only real purgatory.

Greatness

He is greatest who is most often in men’s good thoughts.

He is the greatest who is most often in people's good thoughts.

The Vanity of Human Wishes

There is only one thing vainer and that is the having no wishes.

There’s only one thing more vain, and that’s having no wishes.

Jones’s Conscience

He said he had not much conscience, and what little he had was guilty.

He said he didn’t have much of a conscience, and the little he did have was guilty.

Nihilism

The Nihilists do not believe in nothing; they only believe in nothing that does not commend itself to themselves; that is, they will not allow that anything may be beyond their comprehension.  As their comprehension is not great their creed is, after all, very nearly nihil.

The Nihilists don't believe in nothing; they just believe in nothing that doesn't appeal to them. In other words, they won't accept that anything could be beyond their understanding. Since their understanding isn't very deep, their belief system is pretty close to being nihilistic.

On Breaking Habits

To begin knocking off the habit in the evening, then the afternoon as well and, finally, the morning too is better than to begin cutting it off in the morning and then go on to the afternoon and evening.  I speak from experience as regards smoking and can say that when one comes to within an hour or two of smoke-time one begins to be impatient for it, whereas there will be no impatience after the time for knocking off has been confirmed as a habit.

To start breaking the habit in the evening, then the afternoon, and finally in the morning is better than trying to quit in the morning and then moving on to the afternoon and evening. I speak from experience when it comes to smoking, and I can say that when you're about an hour or two away from your usual smoke time, you start feeling anxious for it. However, there won't be any impatience once quitting has been established as a routine.

Dogs

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.

The great pleasure of having a dog is that you can act silly with him, and not only will he not judge you, but he’ll act goofy right along with you.

Future and Past

The Will-be and the Has-been touch us more nearly than the Is.  So we are more tender towards children and old people than to those who are in the prime of life.

The future and the past affect us more deeply than the present does. So, we feel more compassion for children and the elderly than for those who are in their prime.

Nature

As the word is now commonly used it excludes nature’s most interesting productions—the works of man.  Nature is usually taken to mean mountains, rivers, clouds and undomesticated animals and plants.  I am not indifferent to this half of nature, but it interests me much less than the other half.

As the term is commonly used today, it leaves out some of nature’s most fascinating creations—the works of humanity. Nature is typically understood to mean mountains, rivers, clouds, and wild animals and plants. I’m not indifferent to this aspect of nature, but I find the other aspect much more interesting.

Lucky and Unlucky

People are lucky and unlucky not according to what they get absolutely, but according to the ratio between what they get and what they have been led to expect.

People are considered lucky or unlucky not based on what they receive outright, but based on the comparison between what they receive and what they were led to expect.

Definitions

i

As, no matter what cunning system of checks we devise, we must in the end trust some one whom we do not check, but to whom we give unreserved confidence, so there is a point at which the understanding and mental processes must be taken as understood without further question or definition in words.  And I should say that this point should be fixed pretty early in the discussion.

As, no matter what clever system of checks we come up with, we ultimately have to trust someone we don’t check, but to whom we give our full confidence. So there comes a point where our understanding and thought processes need to be taken for granted without more questioning or explanation in words. I would say that this point should be established quite early in the discussion.

ii

There is one class of mind that loves to lean on rules and definitions, and another that discards them as far as possible.  A faddist will generally ask for a definition of faddism, and one who is not a faddist will be impatient of being asked to give one.

There’s one type of mindset that prefers to rely on rules and definitions, while another type tends to reject them as much as possible. A trend follower will usually ask for a definition of faddism, whereas someone who isn’t a trend follower will be annoyed by being asked to provide one.

iii

A definition is the enclosing a wilderness of idea within a wall of words.

A definition is like putting a wild forest of ideas inside a barrier of words.

iv

Definitions are a kind of scratching and generally leave a sore place more sore than it was before.

Definitions are like a scratch and often leave a sore spot even more painful than it was before.

v

As Love is too young to know what conscience is, so Truth and Genius are too old to know what definition is.

As love is too young to understand what conscience is, so truth and genius are too old to understand what definition is.

Money

It has such an inherent power to run itself clear of taint that human ingenuity cannot devise the means of making it work permanent mischief, any more than means can be found of torturing people beyond what they can bear.  Even if a man founds a College of Technical Instruction, the chances are ten to one that no one will be taught anything and that it will have been practically left to a number of excellent professors who will know very well what to do with it.

It has such an inherent ability to remain untainted that human creativity can't come up with a way to cause lasting harm, just as it's impossible to torture people beyond their limits. Even if someone starts a College of Technical Instruction, there's a good chance that no one will actually learn anything and that it will be mostly run by a group of talented professors who will know exactly how to handle it.

Wit

There is no Professor of Wit at either University.  Surely they might as reasonably have a professor of wit as of poetry.

There is no Professor of Wit at either university. Surely they might as well have a professor of wit as they do of poetry.

Oxford and Cambridge

The dons are too busy educating the young men to be able to teach them anything.

The professors are too focused on teaching the young men to actually educate them.

Cooking

There is a higher average of good cooking at Oxford and Cambridge than elsewhere.  The cooking is better than the curriculum.  But there is no Chair of Cookery, it is taught by apprenticeship in the kitchens.

There is a higher average of good cooking at Oxford and Cambridge than anywhere else. The cooking is better than the curriculum. But there isn't a Chair of Cookery; it's taught through apprenticeships in the kitchens.

Perseus and St. George

These dragon-slayers did not take lessons in dragon-slaying, nor do leaders of forlorn hopes generally rehearse their parts beforehand.  Small things may be rehearsed, but the greatest are always do-or-die, neck-or-nothing matters.

These dragon-slayers didn’t take classes on how to kill dragons, and leaders of desperate missions usually don’t practice their roles in advance. Minor details might be rehearsed, but the most significant events are always life-or-death, all-or-nothing situations.

Specialism and Generalism

Woe to the specialist who is not a pretty fair generalist, and woe to the generalist who is not also a bit of a specialist.

Woe to the expert who isn't also a decent all-rounder, and woe to the all-rounder who isn't at least somewhat of an expert.

Silence and Tact

Silence is not always tact and it is tact that is golden, not silence.

Silence isn't always polite, and it's tact that’s valuable, not silence.

Truth-tellers

Professional truth-tellers may be trusted to profess that they are telling the truth.

Professional truth-tellers can be relied upon to claim that they are speaking the truth.

Street Preachers

These are the costermongers and barrow men of the religious world.

These are the street vendors and market sellers of the religious world.

Providence and Othello

Providence, in making the rain fall also upon the sea, was like the man who, when he was to play Othello, must needs black himself all over.

Providence, in making the rain fall also on the sea, was like the guy who, when he was going to play Othello, had to paint himself completely black.

Providence and Improvidence

i

We should no longer say: Put your trust in Providence, but in Improvidence, for this is what we mean.

We shouldn’t say: Trust in Providence anymore, but in Improvidence, because that’s what we really mean.

ii

To put one’s trust in God is only a longer way of saying that one will chance it.

To trust in God is just a more elaborate way of saying that someone will take a risk.

iii

There is nothing so imprudent or so improvident as over-prudence or over-providence.

There is nothing more reckless or foolish than being overly cautious or overly careful.

Epiphany

If Providence could be seen at all, he would probably turn out to be a very disappointing person—a little wizened old gentleman with a cold in his head, a red nose and a comforter round his neck, whistling o’er the furrow’d land or crooning to himself as he goes aimlessly along the streets, poking his way about and loitering continually at shop-windows and second-hand book-stalls.

If you could see Providence at all, he would probably be a pretty disappointing guy—just a frail old man with a stuffy nose, a red nose, and a scarf around his neck, whistling over the plowed fields or humming to himself as he wanders aimlessly down the streets, poking around and hanging out in front of shop windows and used book stalls.

Fortune

Like Wisdom, Fortune crieth in the streets, and no man regardeth.  There is not an advertisement supplement to the Times—nay, hardly a half sheet of newspaper that comes into a house wrapping up this or that, but it gives information which would make a man’s fortune, if he could only spot it and detect the one paragraph that would do this among the 99 which would wreck him if he had anything to do with them.

Like Wisdom, Fortune calls out in the streets, but no one pays attention. There’s not an ad supplement to the Times—not even a half sheet of newspaper that comes into a house wrapped around something else—that doesn’t contain information that could make a person's fortune, if only he could recognize it and find that one paragraph that would help him, among the 99 that would ruin him if he got involved with them.

Gold-Mines

Gold is not found in quartz alone; its richest lodes are in the eyes and ears of the public, but these are harder to work and to prospect than any quartz vein.

Gold isn't just found in quartz; its richest sources are in the public's attention, but these are harder to mine and explore than any quartz vein.

Things and Purses

Everything is like a purse—there may be money in it, and we can generally say by the feel of it whether there is or is not.  Sometimes, however, we must turn it inside out before we can be quite sure whether there is anything in it or no.  When I have turned a proposition inside out, put it to stand on its head, and shaken it, I have often been surprised to find how much came out of it.

Everything’s like a purse—there could be money inside, and we can usually tell by the feel of it if there is or isn’t. Sometimes, though, we have to turn it inside out before we can be really sure if there’s anything in it at all. When I’ve flipped a proposition inside out, turned it upside down, and shaken it, I’ve often been surprised by how much came out of it.

Solomon in all his Glory

But, in the first place, the lilies do toil and spin after their own fashion, and, in the next, it was not desirable that Solomon should be dressed like a lily of the valley.

But, first of all, the lilies do work and grow in their own way, and, on top of that, it wouldn’t be right for Solomon to be dressed like a lily of the valley.

David’s Teachers

David said he had more understanding than his teachers.  If his teachers were anything like mine this need not imply much understanding on David’s part.  And if his teachers did not know more than the Psalms—it is absurd.  It is merely swagger, like the German Emperor.  [1897.]

David said he had more understanding than his teachers. If his teachers were anything like mine, that doesn't necessarily mean much understanding on David’s part. And if his teachers didn't know more than the Psalms—it’s ridiculous. It’s just boastfulness, like the German Emperor. [1897.]

S. Michael

He contended with the devil about the body of Moses.  Now, I do not believe that any reasonable person would contend about the body of Moses with the devil or with any one else.

He argued with the devil about the body of Moses. Now, I don’t think any reasonable person would argue about the body of Moses with the devil or anyone else.

One Form of Failure

From a worldly point of view there is no mistake so great as that of being always right.

From a worldly perspective, there's no mistake greater than thinking you're always right.

Andromeda

The dragon was never in better health and spirits than on the morning when Perseus came down upon him.  It is said that Andromeda told Perseus she had been thinking how remarkably well he was looking.  He had got up quite in his usual health—and so on.

The dragon was never in better health or spirits than on the morning when Perseus confronted him. It’s said that Andromeda told Perseus she had been thinking about how great he looked. He had gotten up feeling totally normal—and so on.

When I said this to Ballard [a fellow art-student at Heatherley’s] and that other thing which I said about Andromeda in Life and Habit, [225] he remarked that he wished it had been so in the poets.

When I mentioned this to Ballard [a fellow art student at Heatherley’s] and the other thing I brought up about Andromeda in Life and Habit, [225] he said he wished it had been that way in the poets.

I looked at him.  “Ballard,” I said, “I also am ‘the poets.’”

I looked at him. “Ballard,” I said, “I’m also ‘the poets.’”

Self-Confidence

Nothing is ever any good unless it is thwarted with self-distrust though in the main self-confident.

Nothing is ever really good unless it’s complicated by self-doubt, even if overall it’s self-confident.

Wandering

When the inclination is not obvious, the mind meanders, or maunders, as a stream in a flat meadow.

When the direction isn’t clear, the mind wanders aimlessly, like a stream in a flat meadow.

Poverty

I shun it because I have found it so apt to become contagious; but I fancy my constitution is more seasoned against it now than formerly.  I hope that what I have gone through may have made me immune.

I avoid it because I've seen how easily it spreads; but I think I'm stronger against it now than I used to be. I hope that what I've been through has made me immune.

Pedals or Drones

The discords of every age are rendered possible by being taken on a drone or pedal of cant, common form and conventionality.  This drone is, as it were, the flour and suet of a plum pudding.

The conflicts of every era are made possible by relying on a repetitive attitude or a standard way of speaking, common forms and conventions. This repetition is like the flour and fat in a plum pudding.

Evasive Nature

She is one long This-way-and-it-isness and, at the same time, That-way-and-it-isn’tness.  She flies so like a snipe that she is hard to hit.

She is one long this-is-how-it-is and, at the same time, that-isn’t-how-it-is. She moves so like a snipe that she’s tough to catch.

Fashion

Fashion is like God, man cannot see it in its holy of holies and live.  And it is, like God, increate, springing out of nothing, yet the maker of all things—ever changing yet the same yesterday, to-day and for ever.

Fashion is like God; humans can't see it in its sacred space and survive. And just like God, it is uncreated, emerging from nothing, yet it creates everything—constantly changing yet the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Doctors and Clergymen

A physician’s physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric’s divinity has to his power of influencing conduct.

A doctor's understanding of physiology is much like a clergyman's grasp of divinity in terms of their ability to affect behavior.

God is Love

I dare say.  But what a mischievous devil Love is!

I have to say, what a playful devil Love can be!

Common Chords

If Man is the tonic and God the dominant, the Devil is certainly the sub-dominant and Woman is the relative minor.

If man is the tonic and God is the dominant, then the Devil is definitely the sub-dominant and woman is the relative minor.

God and the Devil

God and the Devil are an effort after specialisation and division of labour.

God and the Devil represent an attempt at specialization and division of labor.

Sex

The sexes are the first—or are among the first great experiments in the social subdivision of labour.

The genders are the first—or among the first major experiments in the social division of labor.

Women

If you choose to insist on the analogies and points of resemblance between men and women, they are so great that the differences seem indeed small.  If, on the other hand, you are in a mood for emphasising the points of difference, you can show that men and women have hardly anything in common.  And so with anything: if a man wants to make a case he can generally find a way of doing so.

If you decide to focus on the similarities between men and women, they're so significant that the differences seem minor. But if you're in a mindset to highlight the differences, you can argue that men and women barely have anything in common. The same goes for anything: if a person wants to make a point, they can usually find a way to do it.

Offers of Marriage

Women sometimes say that they have had no offers, and only wish that some one had ever proposed to them.  This is not the right way to put it.  What they should say is that though, like all women, they have been proposing to men all their lives, yet they grieve to remember that they have been invariably refused.

Women sometimes say they haven't received any proposals and wish someone would have asked them. That's not quite the right way to put it. What they really mean is that, like all women, they have been trying to propose to men their whole lives, yet they sadly recall that they have always been turned down.

Marriage

i

The question of marriage or non-marriage is only the question of whether it is better to be spoiled one way or another.

The question of getting married or staying single is really just about whether it’s better to be messed up in one way or another.

ii

In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.

In marriage, sometimes hesitating can be a good thing.

iii

Inoculation, or a hair of the dog that is going to bite you—this principle should be introduced in respect of marriage and speculation.

Inoculation, or a little bit of what’s going to hurt you—this idea should apply to marriage and investments.

Life and Love

To live is like to love—all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.

To live is like to love—every reason is opposed to it, and every healthy instinct supports it.

The Basis of Life

We may say what we will, but Life is, au fond, sensual.

We can say whatever we want, but at its core, Life is sensual.

Woman Suffrage

I will vote for it when women have left off making a noise in the reading-room of the British Museum, when they leave off wearing high head-dresses in the pit of a theatre and when I have seen as many as twelve women in all catch hold of the strap or bar on getting into an omnibus.

I will vote for it when women stop making noise in the reading room of the British Museum, when they stop wearing tall headpieces in the theater, and when I have seen twelve women in total hold onto the strap or bar while getting into a bus.

Manners Makyth Man

Yes, but they make woman still more.

Yes, but they still make women even more.

Women and Religion

It has been said that all sensible men are of the same religion and that no sensible man ever says what that religion is.  So all sensible men are of the same opinion about women and no sensible man ever says what that opinion is.

It’s been said that all reasonable men share the same beliefs and that no reasonable man ever names what those beliefs are. So all reasonable men think similarly about women, and no reasonable man ever states what that view is.

Happiness

Behold and see if there be any happiness like unto the happiness of the devils when they found themselves cast out of Mary Magdalene.

Behold and see if there’s any joy like the joy of the demons when they found themselves thrown out of Mary Magdalene.

Sorrow within Sorrow

He was in reality damned glad; he told people he was sorry he was not more sorry, and here began the first genuine sorrow, for he was really sorry that people would not believe he was sorry that he was not more sorry.

He was actually really glad; he told people he was sorry he wasn't more sorry, and here started the first real sorrow, because he truly felt bad that people wouldn't believe he was sorry he wasn't more sorry.

Going Away

I can generally bear the separation, but I don’t like the leave-taking.

I can usually handle the separation, but I really dislike saying goodbye.

p. 229XV
Titles and Subjects

Titles

A good title should aim at making what follows as far as possible superfluous to those who know anything of the subject.

A great title should strive to make what comes next unnecessary for those who are familiar with the topic.

“The Ancient Mariner”

This poem would not have taken so well if it had been called “The Old Sailor,” so that Wardour Street has its uses.

This poem wouldn't have been as successful if it had been called "The Old Sailor," so Wardour Street has its benefits.

For Unwritten Articles, Essays, Stories

The Art of Quarrelling.

The Art of Argument.

Christian Death-beds.

Christian Deathbeds.

The Book of Babes and Sucklings.

The Book of Babies and Toddlers.

Literary Struldbrugs.

Literary Immortals.

The Life of the World to Come.

The Life of the World to Come.

The Limits of Good Faith.

The Limits of Good Faith.

Art, Money and Religion.

Art, Money, and Religion.

The Third Class Excursion Train, or Steam-boat, as the Church of the Future.

The Third Class Excursion Train, or Steam-boat, as the Church of the Future.

The Utter Speculation involved in much of the good advice that is commonly given—as never to sell a reversion, etc.

The complete guesswork involved in a lot of the good advice that people usually give—like never selling a reversion, etc.

Tracts for Children, warning them against the virtues of their elders.

Tracts for Children, warning them about the qualities of their elders.

Making Ready for Death as a Means of Prolonging Life.  An Essay concerning Human Misunderstanding.  So McCulloch [a fellow art-student at Heatherley’s, a very fine draughtsman] used to say that he drew a great many lines and saved the best of them.  Illusion, mistake, action taken in the dark—these are among the main sources of our progress.

Making Ready for Death as a Means of Prolonging Life. An Essay concerning Human Misunderstanding. So McCulloch [a fellow art student at Heatherley’s, a very skilled draftsman] used to say that he drew a lot of lines and kept the best ones. Illusion, mistake, and actions taken in the dark—these are some of the main sources of our progress.

The Elements of Immorality for the Use of Earnest Schoolmasters.

The Elements of Immorality for the Use of Serious Schoolteachers.

Family Prayers: A series of perfectly plain and sensible ones asking for what people really do want without any kind of humbug.

Family Prayers: A collection of straightforward and reasonable prayers that request what people genuinely want without any pretense.

A Penitential Psalm as David would have written it if he had been reading Herbert Spencer.

A Penitential Psalm as David might have written it if he had been reading Herbert Spencer.

A Few Little Crows which I have to pick with various people.

A Few Little Crows that I need to address with different people.

The Scylla of Atheism and the Charybdis of Christianity.

The Scylla of Atheism and the Charybdis of Christianity.

The Battle of the Prigs and Blackguards.

The Battle of the Prigs and Blackguards.

That Good may Come.

Good Things May Happen.

The Marriage of Inconvenience.

The Marriage of Inconvenience.

The Judicious Separation.

The Wise Separation.

Fooling Around.

Messing around.

Higgledy-Piggledy.

All mixed up.

The Diseases and Ordinary Causes of Mortality among Friendships.

The Diseases and Common Causes of Death among Friendships.

The finding a lot of old photographs at Herculaneum or Thebes; and they should turn out to be of no interest.

The discovery of many old photographs at Herculaneum or Thebes; and they should prove to be uninteresting.

On the points of resemblance and difference between the dropping off of leaves from a tree and the dropping off of guests from a dinner or a concert.

On the similarities and differences between leaves falling from a tree and guests leaving a dinner or a concert.

The Sense of Touch: An essay showing that all the senses resolve themselves ultimately into a sense of touch, and that eating is touch carried to the bitter end.  So there is but one sense—touch—and the amœba has it.  When I look upon the foraminifera I look upon myself.

The Sense of Touch: An essay showing that all the senses ultimately come down to a sense of touch, and that eating is just touch taken to the extreme. So there is only one sense—touch—and the ameba has it. When I look at the foraminifera, I see myself.

The China Shepherdess with Lamb on public-house chimney-pieces in England as against the Virgin with Child in Italy.

The China Shepherdess with Lamb on pub chimney pieces in England compared to the Virgin with Child in Italy.

For a Medical pamphlet: Cant as a means of Prolonging Life.

For a medical pamphlet: Slang as a way to extend life.

For an Art book: The Complete Pot-boiler; or what to paint and how to paint it, with illustrations reproduced from contemporary exhibitions and explanatory notes.

For an Art book: The Complete Pot-boiler; or what to paint and how to paint it, with illustrations taken from modern exhibitions and explanatory notes.

For a Picture: St. Francis preaching to Silenus.  Fra Angelico and Rubens might collaborate to produce this picture.

For a Picture: St. Francis preaching to Silenus. Fra Angelico and Rubens could team up to create this artwork.

The Happy Mistress.  Fifteen mistresses apply for three cooks and the mistress who thought herself nobody is chosen by the beautiful and accomplished cook.

The Happy Mistress. Fifteen mistresses apply for three cooks, and the mistress who thought of herself as nobody is picked by the beautiful and talented cook.

The Complete Drunkard.  He would not give money to sober people, he said they would only eat it and send their children to school with it.

The Complete Drunkard. He refused to give money to sober people, claiming they would just spend it on food and send their kids to school with it.

The Contented Porpoise.  It knew it was to be stuffed and set up in a glass case after death, and looked forward to this as to a life of endless happiness.

The Contented Porpoise. It knew it was going to be stuffed and displayed in a glass case after it died, and it looked forward to this as if it were a life of endless happiness.

The Flying Balance.  The ghost of an old cashier haunts a ledger, so that the books always refuse to balance by the sum of, say, £1.15.11.  No matter how many accountants are called in, year after year the same error always turns up; sometimes they think they have it right and it turns out there was a mistake, so the old error reappears.  At last a son and heir is born, and at some festivities the old cashier’s name is mentioned with honour.  This lays his ghost.  Next morning the books are found correct and remain so.

The Flying Balance. The ghost of an old cashier haunts a ledger, causing the accounts to always be off by the amount of, say, £1.15.11. No matter how many accountants are brought in, year after year the same discrepancy keeps showing up; sometimes they think they've fixed it, but a mistake pops up again, bringing back the old error. Eventually, a son and heir is born, and during some celebrations, the old cashier’s name is mentioned with respect. This puts his ghost to rest. The next morning, the accounts are found to be accurate and stay that way.

A Dialogue between Isaac and Ishmael on the night that Isaac came down from the mountain with his father.  The rebellious Ishmael tries to stir up Isaac, and that good young man explains the righteousness of the transaction—without much effect.

A Dialogue between Isaac and Ishmael on the night that Isaac came down from the mountain with his father. The rebellious Ishmael tries to provoke Isaac, and that good young man explains the righteousness of the situation—without much impact.

Bad Habits: on the dropping them gradually, as one leaves off requiring them, on the evolution principle.

Bad Habits: on gradually letting them go as we stop needing them, based on the principle of evolution.

A Story about a Freethinking Father who has an illegitimate son which he considers the proper thing; he finds this son taking to immoral ways, e.g. he turns Christian, becomes a clergyman and insists on marrying.

A story about an open-minded father who has an illegitimate son, which he sees as the right thing; he discovers that this son is taking a downward path, for example, he becomes a Christian, becomes a clergyman, and insists on getting married.

For a Ballad: Two sets of rooms in some alms-houses at Cobham near Gravesend have an inscription stating that they belong to “the Hundred of Hoo in the Isle of Grain.”  These words would make a lovely refrain for a ballad.

For a Ballad: Two sets of rooms in some charity houses at Cobham near Gravesend have an inscription saying that they belong to “the Hundred of Hoo in the Isle of Grain.” These words would make a beautiful refrain for a ballad.

A story about a man who suffered from atrophy of the purse, or atrophy of the opinions; but whatever the disease some plausible Latin, or imitation-Latin name must be found for it and also some cure.

A story about a man who struggled with money problems, or a lack of strong opinions; but whatever the issue, some convincing Latin or faux-Latin name must be created for it, along with a solution.

A Fairy Story modelled on the Ugly Duckling of Hans Andersen about a bumptious boy whom all the nice boys hated.  He finds out that he was really at last caressed by the Huxleys and Tyndalls as one of themselves.

A fairy tale inspired by Hans Andersen's Ugly Duckling about an arrogant boy whom all the good boys despised. He discovers that he was actually embraced by the Huxleys and Tyndalls as one of their own.

A Collection of the letters of people who have committed suicide; and also of people who only threaten to do so.  The first may be got abundantly from reports of coroners’ inquests, the second would be harder to come by.

A collection of letters from people who have committed suicide and from those who just threaten to do so. The first type can be easily found in coroner's inquest reports, while the second would be much harder to find.

The Structure and Comparative Anatomy of Fads, Fancies and Theories; showing, moreover, that men and women exist only as the organs and tools of the ideas that dominate them; it is the fad that is alone living.

The Structure and Comparative Anatomy of Fads, Fancies and Theories; showing, moreover, that men and women exist only as the organs and tools of the ideas that dominate them; it is the fad that is the only thing truly alive.

An Astronomical Speculation: Each fixed star has a separate god whose body is his own particular solar system, and these gods know each other, move about among each other as we do, laugh at each other and criticise one another’s work.  Write some of their discourses with and about one another.

An Astronomical Speculation: Each fixed star has its own god, and that god's body is its specific solar system. These gods are aware of each other, interact with each other like we do, share laughs, and critique each other's work. Write some of their conversations with and about each other.

Imaginary Worlds

A world exactly, to the minutest detail, a duplicate of our own, but as we shall be five hundred, or from that to twenty thousand, years hence.  Let there be also another world, a duplicate of what we were five hundred to twenty thousand years ago.  There should be many worlds of each kind at different dates behind us and ahead of us.

A world that's an exact copy of ours, down to the tiniest detail, but set five hundred to twenty thousand years in the future. There should also be another world, reflecting what we were like five hundred to twenty thousand years ago. There would be many versions of each type of world at different points in time, both in our past and our future.

I send a visitor from a world ahead of us to a world behind us, after which he comes to us, and so we learn what happened in the Homeric age.  My visitor will not tell me what has happened in his own world since the time corresponding to the present moment in our world, because the knowledge of the future would be not only fatal to ourselves but would upset the similarity between the two worlds, so they would be no longer able to refer to us for information on any point of history from the moment of the introduction of the disturbing element.

I send a visitor from a future world to a past one, and then he comes back to us, allowing us to learn what occurred during the Homeric age. My visitor won’t share what’s happened in his own world since the time that matches our present moment, because knowing the future would not just be dangerous for us but would also disrupt the connections between the two worlds, making it impossible for them to look to us for any historical information after the introduction of this unsettling element.

When they are in doubt about a point in their past history that we have not yet reached they make preparation and forecast its occurrence in our world as we foretell eclipses and transits of Venus, and all their most accomplished historians investigate it; but if the conditions for observation have been unfavourable, or if they postpone consideration of the point till the time of its happening here has gone by, then they must wait for many years till the same combination occurs in some other world.  Thus they say, “The next beheading of King Charles I will be in Ald. b. x. 231c/d”—or whatever the name of the star may be—“on such and such a day of such and such a year, and there will not be another in the lifetime of any man now living,” or there will, in such and such a star, as the case may be.

When they're uncertain about an event in their past that we haven't reached yet, they prepare and predict its occurrence in our world like we predict eclipses and the transits of Venus. Their most skilled historians look into it; however, if the conditions for observation aren't favorable, or if they put off thinking about the event until after it has happened here, they have to wait for many years until the same conditions happen in another world. So they say, “The next beheading of King Charles I will be in Ald. b. x. 231c/d”—or whatever the name of the star is—“on such and such a day of such and such a year, and there won't be another in the lifetime of anyone now living,” or there will be, depending on the star in question.

Communication with a world twenty thousand years ahead of us might ruin the human race as effectually as if we had fallen into the sun.  It would be too wide a cross.  The people in my supposed world know this and if, for any reason, they want to kill a civilisation, stuff it and put it into a museum, they tell it something that is too much ahead of its other ideas, something that travels faster than thought, thus setting an avalanche of new ideas tumbling in upon it and utterly destroying everything.  Sometimes they merely introduce a little poisonous microbe of thought which the cells in the world where it is introduced do not know how to deal with—some such trifle as that two and two make seven, or that you can weigh time in scales by the pound; a single such microbe of knowledge placed in the brain of a fitting subject would breed like wild fire and kill all that came in contact with it.

Communication with a world twenty thousand years ahead of us might ruin humanity as completely as if we had fallen into the sun. It would be too overwhelming. The people in my imagined world know this, and if they ever want to destroy a civilization—pack it up and put it in a museum—they tell it something that is way too advanced for its other ideas, something that moves faster than thought, triggering an avalanche of new ideas that crashes down and completely obliterates everything. Sometimes, they simply introduce a tiny deadly idea that the society’s mind doesn’t know how to handle—like the nonsense that two and two makes seven, or that you can weigh time in pounds; a single idea like that planted in the right person’s mind would spread like wildfire and wipe out everything it touches.

And so on.

And so forth.

An Idyll

I knew a South Italian of the old Greek blood whose sister told him when he was a boy that he had eyes like a cow.

I knew a South Italian with old Greek roots whose sister told him when he was a kid that he had cow-like eyes.

Raging with despair and grief he haunted the fountains and looked into the mirror of their waters.  “Are my eyes,” he asked himself with horror, “are they really like the eyes of a cow?”  “Alas!” he was compelled to answer, “they are only too sadly, sadly like them.”

Raging with despair and grief, he wandered around the fountains and stared at the reflection in their waters. “Are my eyes,” he asked himself in horror, “are they really like a cow’s eyes?” “Alas!” he had to admit, “they are unfortunately, sadly like them.”

And he asked those of his playmates whom he best knew and trusted whether it was indeed true that his eyes were like the eyes of a cow, but he got no comfort from any of them, for they one and all laughed at him and said that they were not only like, but very like.  Then grief consumed his soul, and he could eat no food, till one day the loveliest girl in the place said to him:

And he asked his closest and most trusted friends if it was really true that his eyes looked like a cow's, but he found no comfort from any of them, as they all laughed and said they didn’t just look similar, but very similar. Then sadness overwhelmed him, and he couldn’t eat anything, until one day the prettiest girl in town said to him:

“Gaetano, my grandmother is ill and cannot get her firewood; come with me to the bosco this evening and help me to bring her a load or two, will you?”

“Gaetano, my grandmother is sick and can't get her firewood; come with me to the woods this evening and help me bring her a load or two, okay?”

And he said he would go.

And he said he would go.

So when the sun was well down and the cool night air was sauntering under the chestnuts, the pair sat together cheek to cheek and with their arms round each other’s waists.

So when the sun had set and the cool night air was drifting under the chestnuts, the two sat close together, cheek to cheek, with their arms around each other’s waists.

“O Gaetano,” she exclaimed, “I do love you so very dearly.  When you look at me your eyes are like—they are like the eyes”—here she faltered a little—“the eyes of a cow.”

“O Gaetano,” she exclaimed, “I love you so much. When you look at me, your eyes are like—they are like the eyes”—here she hesitated a bit—“the eyes of a cow.”

Thenceforward he cared not . . .

Thenceforward he cared not . . .

And so on.

And so forth.

A Divorce Novelette

The hero and heroine are engaged against their wishes.  They like one another very well but each is in love with some one else; nevertheless, under an uncle’s will, they forfeit large property unless they marry one another, so they get married, making no secret to one another that they dislike it very much.

The hero and heroine are engaged even though they don't want to be. They like each other quite a bit, but both are in love with someone else. However, according to their uncle's will, they will lose out on a lot of money if they don't marry each other. So, they go ahead with the marriage, openly admitting to each other that they really don't like it at all.

On the evening of their wedding day they broach the subject that has long been nearest to their hearts—the possibility of being divorced.  They discuss it tearfully, but the obstacles seem insuperable.  Nevertheless they agree that faint heart never yet got rid of fair lady, “None but the brave,” exclaims the husband, “deserve to lose the fair,” and they plight their most solemn vows that they will henceforth live but for the object of getting divorced from one another.

On the evening of their wedding day, they bring up the topic that has always been closest to their hearts—the possibility of getting divorced. They discuss it tearfully, but the challenges seem impossible to overcome. Still, they agree that a timid heart never wins over a beautiful woman. “Only the brave,” the husband exclaims, “deserve to lose the beautiful one,” and they make the most serious vows that from now on, they will live solely for the purpose of getting divorced from each other.

But the course of true divorce never did run smooth, and the plot turns upon the difficulties that meet them and how they try to overcome them.  At one time they seem almost certain of success, but the cup is dashed from their lips and is farther off than ever.

But the path to a real divorce never goes smoothly, and the storyline revolves around the challenges they face and their attempts to overcome them. At times, they seem almost certain to succeed, but just when they think it's in reach, it slips away from them and becomes more distant than before.

At last an opportunity occurs in an unlooked-for manner.  They are divorced and live happily apart ever afterwards.

At last, an unexpected opportunity arises. They get divorced and live happily apart from each other afterward.

The Moral Painter—A Tale of Double Personality

Once upon a time there was a painter who divided his life into two halves; in the one half he painted pot-boilers for the market, setting every consideration aside except that of doing for his master, the public, something for which he could get paid the money on which he lived.  He was great at floods and never looked at nature except in order to see what would make most show with least expense.  On the whole he found nothing so cheap to make and easy to sell as veiled heads.

Once upon a time, there was a painter who split his life into two parts; in one part, he painted stuff just to make a living, ignoring everything else except how to deliver what his boss, the public, would pay for. He was great at creating dramatic scenes and only looked at nature to figure out what would attract attention with minimal effort. Overall, he discovered that nothing was cheaper to produce and easier to sell than paintings of veiled figures.

The other half of his time he studied and painted with the sincerity of Giovanni Bellini, Rembrandt, Holbein or De Hooghe.  He was then his own master and thought only of doing his work as well as he could, regardless of whether it would bring him anything but debt and abuse or not.  He gave his best without receiving so much as thanks.

The other half of his time, he studied and painted with the commitment of Giovanni Bellini, Rembrandt, Holbein, or De Hooghe. During this time, he was his own master and focused solely on doing his work as well as he could, without worrying about whether it would earn him anything other than debt and criticism. He gave his best without receiving even a simple thank you.

He avoided the temptation of telling either half about the other.

He resisted the urge to tell one half about the other.

Two Writers

One left little or nothing about himself and the world complained that it was puzzled.  Another, mindful of this, left copious details about himself, whereon the world said that it was even more puzzled about him than about the man who had left nothing, till presently it found out that it was also bored, and troubled itself no more about either.

One person revealed little or nothing about himself, and the world complained that it was confused. Another, aware of this, shared a lot of details about himself, leading the world to say it was even more confused about him than about the man who shared nothing, until eventually, it realized it was also bored and stopped caring about either of them.

The Archbishop of Heligoland

The Archbishop of Heligoland believes his faith, and it makes him so unhappy that he finds it impossible to advise any one to accept it.  He summons the Devil, makes a compact with him and is relieved by being made to see that there was nothing in it—whereon he is very good and happy and leads a most beneficent life, but is haunted by the thought that on his death the Devil will claim his bond.  This terror grows greater and greater, and he determines to see the Devil again.

The Archbishop of Heligoland has faith, but it makes him so unhappy that he can't recommend anyone accept it. He calls the Devil, makes a deal with him, and feels relieved when he realizes there's nothing to it. After that, he becomes really good and happy, living a kind and generous life, but he’s constantly haunted by the fear that the Devil will collect on their deal when he dies. This fear keeps growing, and he decides he needs to see the Devil again.

The upshot of it all is that the Devil turns out to have been Christ who has a dual life and appears sometimes as Christ and sometimes as the Devil. [235]

The bottom line is that the Devil turns out to be Christ, who leads a double life and sometimes shows up as Christ and sometimes as the Devil. [235]

p. 237XVI
Written Sketches

Literary Sketch-Books

The true writer will stop everywhere and anywhere to put down his notes, as the true painter will stop everywhere and anywhere to sketch.

The true writer will pause anywhere and everywhere to jot down his notes, just as the true painter will pause anywhere and everywhere to sketch.

I do not see why an author should not have a sale of literary sketches, each one short, slight and capable of being framed and glazed in small compass.  They would make excellent library decorations and ought to fetch as much as an artist’s sketches.  They might be cut up in suitable lots, if the fashion were once set, and many a man might be making provision for his family at odd times with his notes as an artist does with his sketches.

I don't see why an author shouldn't sell short, light literary sketches that can be framed and displayed. They would make great decorations for a library and should sell for as much as an artist's sketches. If people got into the habit of it, these could be grouped into suitable lots, allowing many people to support their families during their spare time, just like artists do with their sketches.

London

If I were asked what part of London I was most identified with after Clifford’s Inn itself, I should say Fetter Lane—every part of it.  Just by the Record Office is one of the places where I am especially prone to get ideas; so also is the other end, about the butcher’s shop near Holborn.  The reason in both cases is the same, namely, that I have about had time to settle down to reflection after leaving, on the one hand, my rooms in Clifford’s Inn and, on the other, Jones’s rooms in Barnard’s Inn where I usually spend the evening.  The subject which has occupied my mind during the day being approached anew after an interval and a shake, some fresh idea in connection with it often strikes me.  But long before I knew Jones, Fetter Lane was always a street which I was more in than perhaps any other in London.  Leather Lane, the road through Lincoln’s Inn Fields to the Museum, the Embankment, Fleet Street, the Strand and Charing Cross come next.

If someone asked me which part of London I felt most connected to, besides Clifford’s Inn, I would say Fetter Lane—every bit of it. Right next to the Record Office is one of the spots where I often get ideas; the other end, near the butcher’s shop by Holborn, is the same. The reason for both places is simple: I usually have a moment to reflect after leaving my rooms in Clifford’s Inn on one side and Jones’s rooms in Barnard’s Inn, where I often spend my evenings, on the other. After a break and a shift in perspective, I often find a new idea related to whatever I was thinking about during the day. Long before I met Jones, Fetter Lane was always a street I frequented more than perhaps any other in London. Leather Lane, the road through Lincoln’s Inn Fields to the Museum, the Embankment, Fleet Street, the Strand, and Charing Cross follow closely behind.

A Clifford’s Inn Euphemism

People when they want to get rid of their cats, and do not like killing them, bring them to the garden of Clifford’s Inn, drop them there and go away.  In spite of all that is said about cats being able to find their way so wonderfully, they seldom do find it, and once in Clifford’s Inn the cat generally remains there.  The technical word among the laundresses in the inn for this is, “losing” a cat:

People who want to get rid of their cats and don't want to harm them take them to the garden of Clifford’s Inn, leave them there, and walk away. Despite all that’s said about cats having an amazing sense of direction, they rarely make it back home, and once at Clifford’s Inn, the cat usually stays there. The term used by the laundry workers at the inn for this is “losing” a cat:

“Poor thing, poor thing,” said one old woman to me a few days ago, “it’s got no fur on its head at all, and no doubt that’s why the people she lived with lost her.”

“Poor thing, poor thing,” said an old woman to me a few days ago, “it doesn’t have any fur on its head at all, and that’s probably why the people who had her abandoned her.”

London Trees

They are making a great outcry about the ventilators on the Thames Embankment, just as they made a great outcry about the Griffin in Fleet Street.  [See Alps and Sanctuaries.  Introduction.]  They say the ventilators have spoiled the Thames Embankment.  They do not spoil it half so much as the statues do—indeed, I do not see that they spoil it at all.  The trees that are planted everywhere are, or will be, a more serious nuisance.  Trees are all very well where there is plenty of room, otherwise they are a mistake; they keep in the moisture, exclude light and air, and their roots disturb foundations; most of our London Squares would look much better if the trees were thinned.  I should like to cut down all the plane trees in the garden of Clifford’s Inn and leave only the others.

They’re making a huge fuss about the ventilators on the Thames Embankment, just like they did about the Griffin in Fleet Street. [See Alps and Sanctuaries. Introduction.] They claim the ventilators have ruined the Thames Embankment. They don’t ruin it nearly as much as the statues do—in fact, I don’t think they ruin it at all. The trees that are planted everywhere are, or will be, a bigger problem. Trees are great when there’s plenty of space, but otherwise they’re a mistake; they hold in moisture, block light and air, and their roots mess up foundations. Most of our London Squares would look a lot better if the trees were thinned out. I’d like to cut down all the plane trees in the garden of Clifford’s Inn and leave only the others.

What I Said to the Milkman

One afternoon I heard a knock at the door and found it was the milkman.  Mrs. Doncaster [his laundress] was not there, so I took in the milk myself.  The milkman is a very nice man, and, by way of making himself pleasant, said, rather complainingly, that the weather kept very dry.

One afternoon, I heard a knock at the door and found it was the milkman. Mrs. Doncaster, my laundress, wasn’t there, so I took in the milk myself. The milkman is a really nice guy, and to be friendly, he mentioned, somewhat grumpily, that the weather has been really dry.

I looked at him significantly and said: “Ah, yes, of course for your business you must find it very inconvenient,” and laughed.

I gave him a meaningful look and said, “Oh, yes, I can see how that would be really inconvenient for your business,” and laughed.

He saw he had been caught and laughed too.  It was a very old joke, but he had not expected it at that particular moment, and on the top of such an innocent remark.

He noticed he had been caught and laughed, too. It was a very old joke, but he hadn’t expected it at that specific moment, especially after such an innocent comment.

The Return of the Jews to Palestine

A man called on me last week and proposed gravely that I should write a book upon an idea which had occurred to a friend of his, a Jew living in New Bond Street.  It was a plan requiring the co-operation of a brilliant writer and that was why he had come to me.  If only I would help, the return of the Jews to Palestine would be rendered certain and easy.  There was no trouble about the poor Jews, he knew how he could get them back at any time; the difficulty lay with the Rothschilds, the Oppenheims and such; with my assistance, however, the thing could be done.

A man visited me last week and seriously suggested that I write a book based on an idea from a friend of his, a Jewish guy living on New Bond Street. It was a plan that needed the collaboration of a talented writer, which is why he approached me. If I would just help out, the return of the Jews to Palestine would be made certain and easy. He had no issue with the poor Jews; he claimed he could bring them back anytime. The real challenge was with the Rothschilds, the Oppenheims, and others like them; however, with my help, it could be accomplished.

I am afraid I was rude enough to decline to go into the scheme on the ground that I did not care twopence whether the Rothschilds and Oppenheims went back to Palestine or not.  This was felt to be an obstacle; but then he began to try and make me care, whereupon, of course, I had to get rid of him.  [1883.]

I’m sorry, but I was rude enough to refuse to get involved in the plan because I really didn’t care at all whether the Rothschilds and Oppenheims returned to Palestine or not. This was seen as a hurdle; but then he started trying to make me care, so obviously, I had to get him off my back. [1883.]

The Great Bear’s Barley-Water

Last night Jones was walking down with me from Staple Inn to Clifford’s Inn, about 10 o’clock, and we saw the Great Bear standing upright on the tip of his tail which was coming out of a chimney pot.  Jones said it wanted attending to.  I said:

Last night, Jones and I were walking from Staple Inn to Clifford's Inn around 10 o'clock when we spotted the Great Bear standing on its tail, which was sticking out of a chimney pot. Jones said it needed some attention. I replied:

“Yes, but to attend to it properly we ought to sit up with it all night, and if the Great Bear thinks that I am going to sit by his bed-side and give him a spoonful of barley-water every ten minutes, he will find himself much mistaken.”  [1892.]

“Yes, but to handle it properly we should stay up with it all night, and if the Great Bear thinks I’m going to sit by his bedside and give him a spoonful of barley water every ten minutes, he’s got another thing coming.” [1892.]

The Cock Tavern

I went into Fleet Street one Sunday morning last November [1882] with my camera lucida to see whether I should like to make a sketch of the gap made by the demolition of the Cock Tavern.  It was rather pretty, with an old roof or two behind and scaffolding about and torn paper hanging to an exposed party-wall and old fireplaces and so on, but it was not very much out of the way.  Still I would have taken it if it had not been the Cock.  I thought of all the trash that has been written about it and of Tennyson’s plump head waiter (who by the way used to swear that he did not know Tennyson and that Tennyson never did resort to the Cock) and I said to myself:

I went to Fleet Street one Sunday morning last November [1882] with my camera to see if I wanted to make a sketch of the gap left by the demolition of the Cock Tavern. It looked kind of nice, with a couple of old roofs in the background and scaffolding around, plus torn paper hanging from a bare wall and some old fireplaces, but it wasn't anything special. Still, I might have drawn it if it weren't for the Cock. I thought about all the nonsense that’s been written about it and Tennyson’s chubby head waiter (who, by the way, always claimed he didn’t know Tennyson and that Tennyson never went to the Cock), and I said to myself:

“No—you may go.  I will put out no hand to save you.”

“No—you can go. I won’t lift a finger to save you.”

Myself in Dowie’s Shop

I always buy ready-made boots and insist on taking those which the shopman says are much too large for me.  By this means I keep free from corns, but I have a great deal of trouble generally with the shopman.  I had got on a pair once which I thought would do, and the shopman said for the third or fourth time:

I always buy pre-made boots and make sure to choose the ones that the salesperson says are way too big for me. This way I avoid corns, but I usually have a lot of hassle with the salesperson. I had put on a pair once that I thought would work, and the salesperson said for the third or fourth time:

“But really, sir, these boots are much too large for you.”  I turned to him and said rather sternly, “Now, you made that remark before.”

“But really, sir, these boots are way too big for you.” I turned to him and said quite firmly, “You've already said that before.”

There was nothing in it, but all at once I became aware that I was being watched, and, looking up, saw a middle-aged gentleman eyeing the whole proceedings with much amusement.  He was quite polite but he was obviously exceedingly amused.  I can hardly tell why, nor why I should put such a trifle down, but somehow or other an impression was made upon me by the affair quite out of proportion to that usually produced by so small a matter.

There was nothing in it, but suddenly I realized that someone was watching me. I looked up and saw a middle-aged man observing everything with a lot of amusement. He was pretty polite, but it was clear he found it all incredibly funny. I can't really explain why, or why I should bother writing down such a small detail, but for some reason, the whole situation left an impression on me that felt much bigger than it should have for something so minor.

My Dentist

Mr. Forsyth had been stopping a tooth for me and then talked a little, as he generally does, and asked me if I knew a certain distinguished literary man, or rather journalist.  I said No, and that I did not want to know him.  The paper edited by the gentleman in question was not to my taste.  I was a literary Ishmael, and preferred to remain so.  It was my rôle.

Mr. Forsyth had been filling a tooth for me and then chatted a bit, as he usually does, and asked if I knew a certain well-known writer, or rather journalist. I said no, and that I didn’t want to know him. The paper run by that guy wasn’t really my thing. I was a literary outcast and preferred to stay that way. It was my role.

“It seems to me,” I continued, “that if a man will only be careful not to write about things that he does not understand, if he will use the tooth-pick freely and the spirit twice a day, and come to you again in October, he will get on very well without knowing any of the big-wigs.”

“It seems to me,” I continued, “that if a person is careful not to write about things they don't understand, if they use a toothpick freely and take a drink twice a day, and come back to you in October, they'll do just fine without knowing any of the important people.”

“The tooth-pick freely” and “the spirit twice a day” being tags of Mr. Forsyth’s, he laughed.

“The toothpick freely” and “the spirit twice a day” being Mr. Forsyth's phrases, he laughed.

Furber the Violin-Maker

From what my cousin [Reginald E. Worsley] and Gogin both tell me I am sure that Furber is one of the best men we have.  My cousin did not like to send Hyam to him for a violin: he did not think him worthy to have one.  Furber does not want you to buy a violin unless you can appreciate it when you have it.  My cousin says of him:

From what my cousin [Reginald E. Worsley] and Gogin both tell me, I’m sure that Furber is one of the best guys we have. My cousin didn’t want to send Hyam to him for a violin; he didn’t think he deserved one. Furber doesn’t want you to buy a violin unless you can really appreciate it when you have it. My cousin says about him:

“He is generally a little tight on a Saturday afternoon.  He always speaks the truth, but on Saturday afternoons it comes pouring out more.”

“He's usually a bit tight on Saturday afternoons. He always tells the truth, but on Saturday afternoons, it just comes rushing out more.”

“His joints [i.e. the joints of the violins he makes] are the closest and neatest that were ever made.”

“His joints [i.e. the joints of the violins he makes] are the tightest and most precise that have ever been made.”

“He always speaks of the corners of a fiddle; Haweis would call them the points.  Haweis calls it the neck of a fiddle.  Furber always the handle.”

“He always talks about the corners of a fiddle; Haweis would refer to them as the points. Haweis refers to it as the neck of a fiddle. Furber always calls it the handle.”

My cousin says he would like to take his violins to bed with him.

My cousin says he wants to take his violins to bed with him.

Speaking of Strad violins Furber said: “Rough, rough linings, but they look as if they grew together.”

Speaking of Strad violins, Furber said: “Rough, rough linings, but they look like they belong together.”

One day my cousin called and Furber, on opening the door, before saying “How do you do?” or any word of greeting, said very quietly:

One day my cousin called, and Furber, when he opened the door, before saying “How do you do?” or any greeting, said very quietly:

“The dog is dead.”

"The dog has died."

My cousin, having said what he thought sufficient, took up a violin and played a few notes.  Furber evidently did not like it.  Rose, the dog, was still unburied; she was laid out in that very room.  My cousin stopped.  Then Mrs. Furber came in.

My cousin, after sharing his thoughts, picked up a violin and played a few notes. Furber clearly didn't appreciate it. Rose, the dog, was still unburied; she was laid out in that same room. My cousin stopped. Then Mrs. Furber walked in.

R. E. W.  “I am very sorry, Mrs. Furber, to hear about Rose.”

R. E. W. “I’m really sorry to hear about Rose, Mrs. Furber.”

Mrs. F.  “Well, yes sir.  But I suppose it is all for the best.”

Mrs. F. “Well, yes, sir. But I guess it's all for the best.”

R. E. W.  “I am afraid you will miss her a great deal.”

R. E. W. “I’m afraid you’re going to miss her a lot.”

Mrs. F.  “No doubt we shall, sir; but you see she is only gone a little while before us.”

Mrs. F. “I’m sure we will, sir; but you see she’s just gone a short while ahead of us.”

R. E. W.  “Oh, Mrs. Furber, I hope a good long while.”

R. E. W. “Oh, Mrs. Furber, I hope it's a long time.”

Mrs. F. (brightening).  “Well, yes sir, I don’t want to go just yet, though Mr. Furber does say it is a happy thing to die.”

Mrs. F. (brightening). “Well, yes, sir, I don’t want to leave just yet, even though Mr. Furber says it’s a good thing to die.”

My cousin says that Furber hardly knows any one by their real name.  He identifies them by some nickname in connection with the fiddles they buy from him or get him to repair, or by some personal peculiarity.

My cousin says that Furber barely knows anyone by their real name. He identifies them by a nickname related to the fiddles they buy from him or have him repair, or by some personal quirk.

“There is one man,” said my cousin, “whom he calls ‘diaphragm’ because he wanted a fiddle made with what he called a diaphragm in it.  He knows Dando and Carrodus and Jenny Lind, but hardly any one else.”

“There’s one guy,” my cousin said, “who he calls ‘diaphragm’ because he wanted a violin made with what he referred to as a diaphragm in it. He knows Dando, Carrodus, and Jenny Lind, but barely anyone else.”

“Who is Dando?” said I.

“Who is Dando?” I asked.

“Why, Dando?  Not know Dando?  He was George the Fourth’s music master, and is now one of the oldest members of the profession.”

“Why, Dando? Don’t know Dando? He was George the Fourth’s music teacher and is now one of the oldest members in the field.”

Window Cleaning in the British Museum Reading-Room

Once a year or so the figures on the Assyrian bas-reliefs break adrift and may be seen, with their scaling ladders and all, cleaning the outside of the windows in the dome of the reading-room.  It is very pretty to watch them and they would photograph beautifully.  If I live to see them do it again I must certainly snapshot them.  You can see them smoking and sparring, and this year they have left a little hole in the window above the clock.

Once a year or so, the figures on the Assyrian bas-reliefs come to life and can be seen, with their scaling ladders and all, cleaning the outside of the windows in the dome of the reading room. It’s really nice to watch them, and they would look great in photos. If I get to see them do it again, I’ll definitely take a snapshot. You can see them smoking and sparring, and this year they’ve left a small opening in the window above the clock.

The Electric Light in its Infancy

I heard a woman in a ’bus boring her lover about the electric light.  She wanted to know this and that, and the poor lover was helpless.  Then she said she wanted to know how it was regulated.  At last she settled down by saying that she knew it was in its infancy.  The word “infancy” seemed to have a soothing effect upon her, for she said no more but, leaning her head against her lover’s shoulder, composed herself to slumber.

I heard a woman on a bus talking her boyfriend's ear off about electric light. She wanted to know everything, and the poor guy was at a loss. Then she asked how it was regulated. Finally, she concluded by saying she knew it was in its early stages. The word "early stages" seemed to calm her down, because she stopped talking and, leaning her head on her boyfriend's shoulder, settled down to sleep.

Fire

I was at one the other night and heard a man say: “That corner stack is alight now quite nicely.”  People’s sympathies seem generally to be with the fire so long as no one is in danger of being burned.

I was at one the other night and heard a man say: “That corner stack is looking pretty good now.” People's sympathies seem to be with the fire as long as no one is in danger of getting burned.

Adam and Eve

A little boy and a little girl were looking at a picture of Adam and Eve.

A young boy and a young girl were looking at a picture of Adam and Eve.

“Which is Adam and which is Eve?” said one.

“Which one is Adam and which one is Eve?” said one.

“I do not know,” said the other, “but I could tell if they had their clothes on.”

“I don’t know,” said the other, “but I could tell if they were wearing their clothes.”

Does Mamma Know?

A father was telling his eldest daughter, aged about six, that she had a little sister, and was explaining to her how nice it all was.  The child said it was delightful and added:

A dad was telling his oldest daughter, who was around six years old, that she had a little sister, and was explaining to her how great it all was. The child said it was wonderful and added:

“Does Mamma know?  Let’s go and tell her.”

“Does Mom know? Let’s go tell her.”

Mr. Darwin in the Zoological Gardens

Frank Darwin told me his father was once standing near the hippopotamus cage when a little boy and girl, aged four and five, came up.  The hippopotamus shut his eyes for a minute.

Frank Darwin told me his dad was once by the hippopotamus cage when a little boy and girl, around four and five years old, came over. The hippopotamus closed its eyes for a moment.

“That bird’s dead,” said the little girl; “come along.”

“That bird is dead,” said the little girl; “let's go.”

Terbourg

Gogin told me that Berg, an impulsive Swede whom he had known in Laurens’s studio in Paris and who painted very well, came to London and was taken by an artist friend [Henry Scott Tuke, A.R.A.] to the National Gallery where he became very enthusiastic about the Terbourgs.  They then went for a walk and, in Kensington Gore, near one of the entrances to Hyde Park or Kensington Gardens, there was an old Irish apple-woman sitting with her feet in a basket, smoking a pipe and selling oranges.

Gogin told me that Berg, a spontaneous Swede he had met in Laurens's studio in Paris and who was a talented painter, came to London and was taken by an artist friend [Henry Scott Tuke, A.R.A.] to the National Gallery, where he got really excited about the Terbourgs. They then went for a walk, and in Kensington Gore, close to one of the entrances to Hyde Park or Kensington Gardens, there was an old Irish apple vendor sitting with her feet in a basket, smoking a pipe and selling oranges.

“Arranges two a penny, sorr,” said the old woman in a general way.

“Two for a penny, dear,” said the old woman casually.

And Berg, turning to her and throwing out his hands appealingly, said:

And Berg turned to her, spreading his arms in a pleading way, and said:

“O, madame, avez-vous vu les Terbourgs?  Allez voir les Terbourgs.”

“O, madam, have you seen the Terbourgs? Go see the Terbourgs.”

He felt that such a big note had been left out of the life of any one who had not seen them.

He believed that such a significant detail was missing from the life of anyone who hadn't seen them.

At Doctors’ Commons

A woman once stopped me at the entrance to Doctors’ Commons and said:

A woman once stopped me at the entrance to Doctors’ Commons and said:

“If you please, sir, can you tell me—is this the place that I came to before?”

“Excuse me, sir, could you tell me—is this the place I visited before?”

Not knowing where she had been before I could not tell her.

Not knowing where she had been before, I couldn't tell her.

The Sack of Khartoum

As I was getting out of a ’bus the conductor said to me in a confidential tone:

As I was getting off the bus, the conductor said to me in a private tone:

“I say, what does that mean?  ‘Sack of Khartoum’?  What does ‘Sack of Khartoum’ mean?”

“I mean, what does that mean? ‘Sack of Khartoum’? What does ‘Sack of Khartoum’ mean?”

“It means,” said I, “that they’ve taken Khartoum and played hell with it all round.”

“It means,” I said, “that they’ve taken Khartoum and messed it up completely.”

He understood that and thanked me, whereon we parted.

He understood that and thanked me, after which we went our separate ways.

Missolonghi

Ballard [a fellow art-student with Butler at Heatherley’s] told me that an old governess, some twenty years since, was teaching some girls modern geography.  One of them did not know the name Missolonghi.  The old lady wrung her hands:

Ballard [a fellow art student with Butler at Heatherley’s] told me that about twenty years ago, an old governess was teaching some girls modern geography. One of them didn’t know the name Missolonghi. The old lady was beside herself:

“Why, me dear,” she exclaimed, “when I was your age I could never hear the name mentioned without bursting into tears.”

“Why, my dear,” she exclaimed, “when I was your age, I could never hear that name without breaking down in tears.”

I should perhaps add that Byron died there.

I should probably mention that Byron died there.

Memnon

I saw the driver of the Hampstead ’bus once, near St. Giles’s Church—an old, fat, red-faced man sitting bolt upright on the top of his ’bus in a driving storm of snow, fast asleep with a huge waterproof over his great-coat which descended with sweeping lines on to a tarpaulin.  All this rose out of a cloud of steam from the horses.  He had a short clay pipe in his mouth but, for the moment, he looked just like Memnon.

I saw the driver of the Hampstead bus once, near St. Giles’s Church—an old, chubby, red-faced man sitting straight up on the top of his bus in a heavy snowstorm, fast asleep with a big waterproof coat draped over his outer coat, which flowed down onto a tarpaulin. All of this emerged from a cloud of steam coming from the horses. He had a short clay pipe in his mouth, but at that moment, he looked just like Memnon.

Manzi the Model

They had promised him sittings at the Royal Academy and then refused him on the ground that his legs were too hairy.  He complained to Gogin:

They had promised him spots at the Royal Academy and then turned him down because his legs were too hairy. He complained to Gogin:

“Why,” said he, “I sat at the Slade School for the figure only last week, and there were five ladies, but not one of them told me my legs were too hairy.”

“Why,” he said, “I was at the Slade School for figure drawing just last week, and there were five women there, but not one of them mentioned that my legs were too hairy.”

A Sailor Boy and Some Chickens

A pretty girl in the train had some chirping chickens about ten days’ old in a box labelled “German egg powders.  One packet equal to six eggs.”  A sailor boy got in at Basingstoke, a quiet, reserved youth, well behaved and unusually good-looking.  By and by the chickens were taken out of the box and fed with biscuit on the carriage seat.  This thawed the boy who, though he fought against it for some lime, yielded to irresistible fascination and said:

A pretty girl on the train had some chirping chicks that were about ten days old in a box labeled “German egg powders. One packet equals six eggs.” A sailor boy got on at Basingstoke, a quiet, reserved kid, well-behaved and surprisingly good-looking. Eventually, the chicks were taken out of the box and fed biscuits on the train seat. This melted the boy's resolve, and though he resisted it for a while, he eventually gave in to their irresistible charm and said:

“What are they?”

“What are they?”

“Chickens,” said the girl.

"Chickens," the girl said.

“Will they grow bigger?”

"Will they get bigger?"

“Yes.”

"Yep."

Then the boy said with an expression of infinite wonder: “And did you hatch them from they powders?”

Then the boy said with an expression of pure amazement: “And did you hatch them from those powders?”

We all laughed till the boy blushed and I was very sorry for him.  If we had said they had been hatched from the powders he would have certainly believed us.

We all laughed until the boy turned red, and I felt really bad for him. If we had said they were hatched from the powders, he would have totally believed us.

Gogin, the Japanese Gentleman and the Dead Dog

Gogin was one day going down Cleveland Street and saw an old, lean, careworn man crying over the body of his dog which had been just run over and killed by the old man’s own cart.  I have no doubt it was the dog’s fault, for the man was in great distress; as for the dog there it lay all swelled and livid where the wheel had gone over it, its eyes protruded from their sockets and its tongue lolled out, but it was dead.  The old man gazed on it, helplessly weeping, for some time and then got a large piece of brown paper in which he wrapped up the body of his favourite; he tied it neatly with a piece of string and, placing it in his cart, went homeward with a heavy heart.  The day was dull, the gutters were full of cabbage stalks and the air resounded with the cry of costermongers.

Gogin was walking down Cleveland Street one day and saw an old, thin, tired-looking man crying over his dog, which had just been run over and killed by the man’s own cart. I have no doubt it was the dog’s fault, because the man was in great distress; as for the dog, it lay there all swollen and bruised where the wheel had passed over it, its eyes bulging from their sockets and its tongue hanging out, but it was dead. The old man looked at it, helplessly weeping, for a while and then got a large piece of brown paper to wrap up his favorite; he tied it neatly with a piece of string and, putting it in his cart, headed home with a heavy heart. The day was dull, the gutters were full of cabbage stalks, and the air was filled with the shouts of street vendors.

On this a Japanese gentleman, who had watched the scene, lifted up his voice and made the bystanders a set oration.  He was very yellow, had long black hair, gold spectacles and a top hat; he was a typical Japanese, but he spoke English perfectly.  He said the scene they had all just witnessed was a very sad one and that it ought not to be passed over entirely without comment.  He explained that it was very nice of the good old man to be so sorry about his dog and to be so careful of its remains and that he and all the bystanders must sympathise with him in his grief, and as the expression of their sympathy, both with the man and with the poor dog, he had thought fit, with all respect, to make them his present speech.

On this, a Japanese man, who had been watching the scene, raised his voice and addressed the crowd with a speech. He was quite yellow, had long black hair, gold glasses, and a top hat; he looked like a typical Japanese person, but he spoke English perfectly. He said the scene they had just witnessed was very sad and shouldn't be ignored without some commentary. He explained that it was very kind of the old man to care so much about his dog and to be so considerate of its remains, and that he and all the onlookers should sympathize with him in his grief. As a way to express their sympathy for both the man and the poor dog, he felt it respectful to give them this speech.

I have not the man’s words but Gogin said they were like a Japanese drawing, that is to say, wonderfully charming, and showing great knowledge but not done in the least after the manner in which a European would do them.  The bystanders stood open-mouthed and could make nothing of it, but they liked it, and the Japanese gentleman liked addressing them.  When he left off and went away they followed him with their eyes, speechless.

I don’t have the exact words of the man, but Gogin said they were like a Japanese painting, meaning they were incredibly beautiful and displayed a lot of skill but were totally different from how a European would create them. The viewers were amazed and couldn't understand it, but they enjoyed it, and the Japanese guy liked speaking to them. When he stopped and walked away, they followed him with their eyes, speechless.

St. Pancras’ Bells

Gogin lives at 164 Euston Road, just opposite St. Pancras Church, and the bells play doleful hymn tunes opposite his window which worries him.  My St. Dunstan’s bells near Clifford’s Inn play doleful hymn tunes which enter in at my window; I not only do not dislike them, but rather like them; they are so silly and the bells are out of tune.  I never yet was annoyed by either bells or street music except when a loud piano organ strikes up outside the public-house opposite my bedroom window after I am in bed and when I am just going to sleep.  However, Jones was at Gogin’s one summer evening and the bells struck up their dingy old burden as usual.  The tonic bell on which the tune concluded was the most stuffy and out of tune.  Gogin said it was like the smell of a bug.

Gogin lives at 164 Euston Road, right across from St. Pancras Church, where the bells chime sad hymn tunes outside his window, which bothers him. My St. Dunstan’s bells near Clifford’s Inn also play sad hymn tunes that come in through my window; not only do I not mind them, but I actually like them. They’re so silly, and the bells are out of tune. I've never been bothered by the bells or street music, except when a loud piano organ starts playing outside the pub across from my bedroom window just as I'm trying to sleep. One summer evening, though, Jones was at Gogin’s when the bells began their usual dreary tune. The last bell that finished off the tune was the most muffled and out of tune. Gogin said it was like the smell of a bug.

At Eynsford

I saw a man painting there the other day but passed his work without looking at it and sat down to sketch some hundred of yards off.  In course of time he came strolling round to see what I was doing and I, not knowing but what he might paint much better than I, was apologetic and said I was not a painter by profession.

I saw a guy painting there the other day but walked by his work without looking at it and sat down to sketch a few hundred yards away. Eventually, he strolled over to check out what I was doing, and I, not knowing if he might paint way better than I could, felt apologetic and said I wasn't a professional painter.

“What are you?” said he.

"What are you?" he asked.

I said I was a writer.

I said I was a writer.

“Dear me,” said he.  “Why that’s my line—I’m a writer.”

“Wow,” he said. “That’s my line—I’m a writer.”

I laughed and said I hoped he made it pay better than I did.  He said it paid very well and asked me where I lived and in what neighbourhood my connection lay.  I said I had no connection but only wrote books.

I laughed and said I hoped he made more money than I did. He said he earned a lot and asked me where I lived and what neighborhood my connection was in. I said I had no connections, just wrote books.

“Oh!  I see.  You mean you are an author.  I’m not an author; I didn’t mean that.  I paint people’s names up over their shops, and that’s what we call being a writer.  There isn’t a touch on my work as good as any touch on yours.”

“Oh! I get it. You’re saying you’re an author. I’m not an author; that’s not what I meant. I paint people’s names on their shops, and that’s what we call being a writer. There isn’t a single part of my work that’s as good as any part of yours.”

I was gratified by so much modesty and, on my way back to dinner, called to see his work.  I am afraid that he was not far wrong—it was awful.

I was pleased by his humility and, on my way back to dinner, stopped by to check out his work. I’m afraid he wasn’t too far off—it was terrible.

Omne ignotum pro magnifico holds with painters perhaps more than elsewhere; we never see a man sketching, or even carrying a paint-box, without rushing to the conclusion that he can paint very well.  There is no cheaper way of getting a reputation than that of going about with easel, paint-box, etc., provided one can ensure one’s work not being seen.  And the more traps one carries the cleverer people think one.

Omne ignotum pro magnifico applies to painters maybe more than in other fields; we never see someone sketching, or even carrying a paint box, without quickly assuming they’re a great artist. There’s no easier way to gain a reputation than by walking around with an easel and paint box, as long as you make sure your work isn't seen. The more gear you have, the more talented people think you are.

Mrs. Hicks

She and her husband, an old army sergeant who was all through the Indian Mutiny, are two very remarkable people; they keep a public-house where we often get our beer when out for our Sunday walk.  She owns to sixty-seven, I should think she was a full seventy-five, and her husband, say, sixty-five.  She is a tall, raw-boned Gothic woman with a strong family likeness to the crooked old crusader who lies in the church transept, and one would expect to find her body scrawled over with dates ranging from 400 years ago to the present time, just as the marble figure itself is.  She has a great beard and moustaches and three projecting teeth in her lower jaw but no more in any part of her mouth.  She moves slowly and is always a little in liquor besides being singularly dirty in her person.  Her husband is like unto her.

She and her husband, an old army sergeant who fought in the Indian Mutiny, are two very interesting people; they run a pub where we often grab a beer during our Sunday walks. She claims to be sixty-seven, but I’d guess she's a good seventy-five, while her husband looks about sixty-five. She’s a tall, lanky woman with a strong family resemblance to the crooked old crusader lying in the church transept, and you’d imagine her body covered with dates ranging from 400 years ago to now, just like the marble figure itself. She sports a big beard and mustache and has three protruding teeth in her lower jaw, with no others in her mouth. She moves slowly and is usually a bit tipsy, not to mention notably dirty. Her husband is similar to her.

For all this they are hard-working industrious people, keep no servant, pay cash for everything, are clearly going up rather than down in the world and live well.  She always shows us what she is going to have for dinner and it is excellent—“And I made the stuffing over night and the gravy first thing this morning.”  Each time we go we find the house a little more done up.  She dotes on Mr. Hicks—we never go there without her wedding day being referred to.  She has earned her own living ever since she was ten years old, and lived twenty-nine and a half years in the house from which Mr. Hicks married her.  “I am as happy,” she said, “as the day is long.”  She dearly loves a joke and a little flirtation.  I always say something perhaps a little impudently broad to her and she likes it extremely.  Last time she sailed smilingly out of the room, doubtless to tell Mr. Hicks, and came back still smiling.

For all this, they are hard-working, industrious people, don't employ any servants, pay cash for everything, are clearly on the rise rather than the decline in life, and live quite well. She always shows us what she’s planning for dinner, and it’s excellent—“And I made the stuffing overnight and the gravy first thing this morning.” Each time we visit, we find the house a little more polished. She adores Mr. Hicks—we never go there without her mentioning her wedding day. She has supported herself since she was ten years old and lived in the house for twenty-nine and a half years before Mr. Hicks married her. “I am as happy,” she said, “as the day is long.” She loves a good joke and a little flirtation. I always say something maybe a bit cheeky to her, and she really enjoys it. Last time, she left the room with a smile, probably to tell Mr. Hicks, and came back still smiling.

When we come we find her as though she had lien among the pots, but as soon as she has given us our beer, she goes upstairs and puts on a cap and a clean apron and washes her face—that is to say, she washes a round piece in the middle of her face, leaving a great glory of dirt showing all round it.  It is plain the pair are respected by the manner in which all who come in treat them.

When we arrive, we find her as if she's been working among the pots, but as soon as she serves us our beer, she goes upstairs, puts on a cap and a clean apron, and washes her face—that is, she cleans a round area in the middle of her face, leaving a large ring of dirt all around it. It's obvious that the couple is respected by the way everyone who enters treats them.

Last time we were there she said she hoped she should not die yet.

Last time we were there, she said she hoped she wouldn’t die yet.

“You see,” she said, “I am beginning now to know how to live.”

“You see,” she said, “I’m starting to figure out how to live.”

These were her own words and, considering the circumstances under which they were spoken, they are enough to stamp the speaker as a remarkable woman.  She has got as much from age and lost as little from youth as woman can well do.  Nevertheless, to look at, she is like one of the witches in Macbeth.

These were her own words, and given the situation in which they were said, they definitely mark the speaker as an exceptional woman. She has gained as much from age and lost as little from youth as a woman possibly can. Yet, in appearance, she resembles one of the witches in Macbeth.

New-Laid Eggs

When I take my Sunday walks in the country, I try to buy a few really new-laid eggs warm from the nest.  At this time of the year (January) they are very hard to come by, and I have long since invented a sick wife who has implored me to get her a few eggs laid not earlier than the self-same morning.  Of late, as I am getting older, it has become my daughter who has just had a little baby.  This will generally draw a new-laid egg, if there is one about the place at all.

When I go for my Sunday walks in the countryside, I try to buy a few freshly laid eggs straight from the nest. This time of year (January), they’re really hard to find, so I’ve long since made up a story about a sick wife who desperately wants eggs laid that very morning. Recently, as I’ve been getting older, it’s become my daughter who just had a baby. This usually helps me find a fresh egg, if there’s one available nearby.

At Harrow Weald it has always been my wife who for years has been a great sufferer and finds a really new-laid egg the one thing she can digest in the way of solid food.  So I turned her on as movingly as I could not long since, and was at last sold some eggs that were no better than common shop eggs, if so good.  Next time I went I said my poor wife had been made seriously ill by them; it was no good trying to deceive her; she could tell a new-laid egg from a bad one as well as any woman in London, and she had such a high temper that it was very unpleasant for me when she found herself disappointed.

At Harrow Weald, my wife has always suffered greatly, and she finds that a freshly laid egg is the only solid food she can digest. So, not long ago, I approached the situation as sensitively as I could and finally bought some eggs that were no better than the average store-bought ones, if they were even that good. The next time I went, I said my poor wife had been seriously ill because of them; it was pointless to try to fool her; she could tell a fresh egg from a bad one just as well as any woman in London, and her temper was so fierce that it was quite unpleasant for me when she felt disappointed.

“Ah! sir,” said the landlady, “but you would not like to lose her.”

“Ah! sir,” said the landlady, “but you wouldn’t want to lose her.”

“Ma’am,” I replied, “I must not allow my thoughts to wander in that direction.  But it’s no use bringing her stale eggs, anyhow.”

“Ma’am,” I replied, “I can’t let my thoughts go there. But it’s pointless to bring her old eggs, anyway.”

“The Egg that Hen Belonged to”

I got some new-laid eggs a few Sundays ago.  The landlady said they were her own, and talked about them a good deal.

I got some fresh eggs a few Sundays ago. The landlady said they were from her own chickens and talked about them quite a bit.

She pointed to one of them and said:

She pointed to one of them and said:

“Now, would you believe it?  The egg that hen belonged to laid 53 hens running and never stopped.”

“Can you believe it? The hen that laid that egg had 53 chicks that just kept running nonstop.”

She called the egg a hen and the hen an egg.  One would have thought she had been reading Life and Habit [p. 134 and passim].

She referred to the egg as a hen and to the hen as an egg. One might have assumed she had been reading Life and Habit [p. 134 and passim].

At Englefield Green

As an example of how anything can be made out of anything or done with anything by those who want to do it (as I said in Life and Habit that a bullock can take an eyelash out of its eye with its hind-foot—which I saw one of my bullocks in New Zealand do), at the Barley Mow, Englefield Green, they have a picture of a horse and dog talking to one another, made entirely of butterflies’ wings, and very well and spiritedly done too.

As an example of how anything can be created from anything or accomplished by those who are determined to do it (as I mentioned in Life and Habit that a bull can remove an eyelash from its eye with its hind foot—which I actually saw one of my bulls do in New Zealand), at the Barley Mow, Englefield Green, there's a picture of a horse and dog having a conversation, made entirely out of butterfly wings, and it's really well done and lively too.

They have another picture, done in the same way, of a greyhound running after a hare, also good but not so good.

They have another painting, created in the same style, of a greyhound chasing a hare, which is also nice but not quite as nice.

At Abbey Wood

I heard a man say to another: “I went to live there just about the time that beer came down from 5d. to 4d. a pot.  That will give you an idea when it was.”

I heard a guy say to another, “I moved there right around the time beer dropped from 5d. to 4d. a pot. That should give you an idea of when it was.”

At Ightham Mote

We took Ightham on one of our Sunday walks about a fortnight ago, and Jones and I wanted to go inside over the house.

We visited Ightham on one of our Sunday walks about two weeks ago, and Jones and I wanted to go inside the house.

My cousin said, “You’d much better not, it will only unsettle your history.”

My cousin said, “You really shouldn't, it will only mess with your past.”

We felt, however, that we had so little history to unsettle that we left him outside and went in.

We felt, though, that we had so little history to disrupt that we left him outside and went in.

Dr. Mandell Creighton and Mr. W. S. Rockstro

The Bishop had been reading Mr. Samuel Butler’s enchanting book Alps and Sanctuaries and determined to visit some of the places there describedWe divided our time between the Italian lakes and the lower slopes of the Alps and explored many mountain sanctuaries . . .  As a result of this journey the Bishop got to know Mr. S. ButlerHe wrote to tell him the pleasure his books had given us and asked him to visit usAfter this he came frequently and the Bishop was much attracted by his original mind and stores of out-of-the-way knowledge.”  (The Life and Letters of Dr. Mandell Creighton by his Wife, Vol. II, p. 83.)

The Bishop had been reading Mr. Samuel Butler’s captivating book Alps and Sanctuaries and decided to visit some of the places mentioned in it. We split our time between the Italian lakes and the lower slopes of the Alps and explored many mountain sanctuaries . . . As a result of this journey, the Bishop got to know Mr. S. Butler. He wrote to let him know how much we enjoyed his books and invited him to visit us. After that, he came by often, and the Bishop was really drawn to his unique perspective and vast knowledge of unusual topics.

The first time that Dr. Creighton asked me to come down to Peterborough in 1894 before he became Bishop of London, I was a little doubtful whether to go or not.  As usual, I consulted my good clerk, Alfred, who said:

The first time Dr. Creighton asked me to come down to Peterborough in 1894, before he became the Bishop of London, I was a bit unsure about whether to go or not. As usual, I consulted my good clerk, Alfred, who said:

“Let me have a look at his letter, sir.”  I gave him the letter, and he said:

“Let me see his letter, sir.” I handed him the letter, and he said:

“I see, sir, there is a crumb of tobacco in it; I think you may go.”

“I see, sir, there’s a piece of tobacco in it; I think you can go.”

I went and enjoyed myself very much.  I should like to add that there are very few men who have ever impressed me so profoundly and so favourably as Dr. Creighton.  I have often seen him since, both at Peterborough and at Fulham, and like and admire him most cordially. [251]

I went and had a great time. I should mention that there are very few men who have ever impressed me as deeply and positively as Dr. Creighton. I've seen him often since then, both in Peterborough and Fulham, and I really like and admire him a lot. [251]

I paid my first visit to Peterborough at a time when that learned musician and incomparable teacher, Mr. W. S. Rockstro, was giving me lessons in medieval counterpoint; so I particularly noticed the music at divine service.  The hymns were very silly, and of the usual Gounod-Barnby character.  Their numbers were posted up in a frame and I saw there were to be five, so I called the first Farringdon Street, the second King’s Cross, the third Gower Street, the fourth Portland Road, and the fifth Baker Street, those being stations on my way to Rickmansworth, where I frequently go for a walk in the country.

I visited Peterborough for the first time when the brilliant musician and exceptional teacher, Mr. W. S. Rockstro, was giving me lessons in medieval counterpoint, so I really paid attention to the music during the service. The hymns were pretty silly and typical of the Gounod-Barnby style. The hymn numbers were displayed in a frame, and I saw there were five, so I named the first Farringdon Street, the second King’s Cross, the third Gower Street, the fourth Portland Road, and the fifth Baker Street, since those are all stops on my way to Rickmansworth, where I often go for a countryside walk.

In his private chapel at night the bishop began his verse of the psalms always well before we had done the response to the preceding verse.  It reminded me of what Rockstro had said a few weeks earlier to the effect that a point of imitation was always more effective if introduced before the other voices had finished.  I told Rockstro about it and said that the bishop’s instinct had guided him correctly—certainly I found his method more satisfactory than if he had waited till we had finished.  Rockstro smiled, and knowing that I was at the time forbidden to work, said:

In his private chapel at night, the bishop would always start his verse of the psalms long before we finished the response to the previous verse. It reminded me of what Rockstro had mentioned a few weeks earlier about how a point of imitation is always more effective if introduced before the other voices are done. I told Rockstro about it and said that the bishop's instinct was right—I definitely found his method more satisfying than if he had waited until we finished. Rockstro smiled, and knowing that I wasn't allowed to work at that time, said:

“Satan finds some mischief still for idle brains to do.”

“Satan always finds ways to get into trouble for lazy minds.”

Talking of Rockstro, he scolded me once and said he wondered how I could have done such a thing as to call Handel “one of the greatest of all musicians,” referring to the great chords in Erewhon.  I said that if he would look again at the passage he would find I had said not that Handel was “one of the greatest” but that he was “the greatest of all musicians,” on which he apologised.

Talking about Rockstro, he once scolded me and questioned how I could call Handel “one of the greatest of all musicians,” referring to the great chords in Erewhon. I told him that if he looked at the passage again, he would see that I said not that Handel was “one of the greatest” but that he was “the greatest of all musicians,” to which he apologized.

Pigs

We often walk from Rickmansworth across Moor Park to Pinner.  On getting out of Moor Park there is a public-house just to the left where we generally have some shandy-gaff and buy some eggs.  The landlord had a noble sow which I photographed for him; some months afterwards I asked how the sow was.  She had been sold.  The landlord knew she ought to be killed and made into bacon, but he had been intimate with her for three years and some one else must eat her, not he.

We often walk from Rickmansworth through Moor Park to Pinner. When we exit Moor Park, there's a pub just on the left where we usually grab some shandy and buy a few eggs. The landlord had a beautiful pig that I took a picture of for him; a few months later, I asked how the pig was doing. She had been sold. The landlord knew she should be slaughtered and turned into bacon, but he had grown attached to her over three years, and he couldn’t bear the thought of someone else eating her.

“And what,” said I, “became of her daughter?”

“And what,” I asked, “happened to her daughter?”

“Oh, we killed her and ate her.  You see we had only known her eighteen months.”

“Oh, we killed her and ate her. You see, we had only known her for eighteen months.”

I wonder how he settled the exact line beyond which intimacy with a pig must not go if the pig is to be eaten.

I wonder how he figured out the exact point where getting close to a pig shouldn't go beyond if the pig is going to be eaten.

Mozart

An old Scotchman at Boulogne was holding forth on the beauties of Mozart, which he exemplified by singing thus:

An old Scotsman in Boulogne was going on about the beauties of Mozart, which he demonstrated by singing this:

I maliciously assented, but said it was strange how strongly that air always reminded me of “Voi che sapete.”

I agreed with bad intentions, but I mentioned how oddly that atmosphere always reminded me of “Voi che sapete.”

Divorce

There was a man in the hotel at Harwich with an ugly disagreeable woman who I supposed was his wife.  I did not care about him, but he began to make up to me in the smoking-room.

There was a man at the hotel in Harwich with an unpleasant, unattractive woman who I assumed was his wife. I wasn't interested in him, but he started trying to be friendly with me in the smoking room.

“This divorce case,” said he, referring to one that was being reported in the papers, “doesn’t seem to move very fast.”

“This divorce case,” he said, pointing to one that was being reported in the news, “doesn’t seem to be moving very quickly.”

I put on my sweetest smile and said: “I have not observed it.  I am not married myself, and naturally take less interest in divorce.”

I put on my sweetest smile and said: “I haven’t noticed it. I’m not married myself, so I naturally have less interest in divorce.”

He dropped me.

He broke up with me.

Ravens

Mr. Latham, the Master of Jones’s College, Trinity Hall, Cambridge, has two ravens named Agrippa and Agrippina.  Mr. Latham throws Agrippa a piece of cheese; Agrippa takes it, hides it carefully and then goes away contented; but Agrippina has had her eye upon him and immediately goes and steals it, hiding it somewhere else; Agrippa, however, has always one eye upon Agrippina and no sooner is her back turned than he steals it and buries it anew; then it becomes Agrippina’s turn, and thus they pass the time, making believe that they want the cheese though neither of them really wants it.  One day Agrippa had a small fight with a spaniel and got rather the worst of it.  He immediately flew at Agrippina and gave her a beating.  Jones said he could almost hear him say, “It’s all your fault.”

Mr. Latham, the head of Jones’s College at Trinity Hall, Cambridge, has two ravens named Agrippa and Agrippina. Mr. Latham tosses a piece of cheese to Agrippa; Agrippa grabs it, hides it carefully, and then walks away happy. But Agrippina has been watching him and immediately goes and steals it, hiding it somewhere else. However, Agrippa always keeps an eye on Agrippina, and as soon as her back is turned, he takes it back and buries it again. Then it’s Agrippina’s turn, and they spend their time pretending they want the cheese, even though neither of them actually does. One day, Agrippa had a little fight with a spaniel and ended up losing. He immediately flew at Agrippina and gave her a beating. Jones said he could almost hear him say, “It’s all your fault.”

Calais to Dover

When I got on board the steamer at Calais I saw Lewis Day, who writes books about decoration, and began to talk with him.  Also I saw A. B., Editor of the X.Y.Z. Review.  I met him some years ago at Phipson Beale’s, but we do not speak.  Recently I wanted him to let me write an article in his review and he would not, so I was spiteful and, when I saw him come on board, said to Day:

When I got on the steamer in Calais, I spotted Lewis Day, who writes books about decoration, and started chatting with him. I also saw A. B., the Editor of the X.Y.Z. Review. I met him a few years ago at Phipson Beale’s, but we don't really talk. Recently, I asked him if I could write an article for his review, but he refused, so I was petty and, when I saw him board, said to Day:

“I see we are to have the Editor of the X.Y.Z. on board.”

“I see we’re going to have the Editor of the X.Y.Z. with us.”

“Yes,” said Day.

“Yeah,” said Day.

“He’s an owl,” said I sententiously.

"He's an owl," I said seriously.

“I wonder,” said Day, “how he got the editorship of his review?”

"I wonder," Day said, "how he became the editor of his magazine?"

“Oh,” said I, “I suppose he married some one.”

“Oh,” I said, “I guess he got married to someone.”

On this the conversation dropped, and we parted.  Later on we met again and Day said:

On this, the conversation ended, and we went our separate ways. Later we ran into each other again, and Day said:

“Do you know who that lady was—the one standing at your elbow when we were talking just now?”

“Do you know who that woman was—the one standing right next to you while we were talking just now?”

“No,” said I.

“No,” I said.

“That,” he replied, “was Mrs. A. B.”

"That," he replied, "was Mrs. A. B."

And it was so.

And it happened.

Snapshotting a Bishop

I must some day write about how I hunted the late Bishop of Carlisle with my camera, hoping to shoot him when he was sea-sick crossing from Calais to Dover, and how St. Somebody protected him and said I might shoot him when he was well, but not when he was sea-sick.  I should like to do it in the manner of the Odyssey:

I really need to write someday about how I chased the late Bishop of Carlisle with my camera, hoping to capture him when he was seasick on the way from Calais to Dover, and how St. Somebody protected him and said I could take his picture when he was better, but not when he was seasick. I'd like to do it in the style of the Odyssey:

. . . And the steward went round and laid them all on the sofas and benches and he set a beautiful basin by each, variegated and adorned with flowers, but it contained no water for washing the hands, and Neptune sent great waves that washed over the eyelet-holes of the cabin.  But when it was now the middle of the passage and a great roaring arose as of beasts in the Zoological Gardens, and they promised hecatombs to Neptune if he would still the raging of the waves . . .

. . . And the steward went around, placing them all on the sofas and benches, and he set a beautiful basin by each one, decorated with flowers, but it had no water for washing hands, and Neptune sent huge waves that crashed over the cabin’s portholes. But when they reached the halfway point of the journey and a great noise erupted like that of animals in a zoo, they promised sacrifices to Neptune if he would calm the raging waves . . .

At any rate I shot him and have him in my snap-shot book, but he was not sea-sick.  [1892.]

At any rate, I took a picture of him and have it in my photo album, but he wasn't seasick. [1892.]

Homer and the Basins

When I returned from Calais last December, after spending Christmas at Boulogne according to my custom, the sea was rough as I crossed to Dover and, having a cold upon me, I went down into the second-class cabin, cleared the railway books off one of the tables, spread out my papers and continued my translation, or rather analysis, of the Iliad.  Several people of all ages and sexes were on the sofas and they soon began to be sea-sick.  There was no steward, so I got them each a basin and placed it for them as well as I could; then I sat down again at my table in the middle and went on with my translation while they were sick all round me.  I had to get the Iliad well into my head before I began my lecture on The Humour of Homer and I could not afford to throw away a couple of hours, but I doubt whether Homer was ever before translated under such circumstances.  [1892.]

When I got back from Calais last December, having spent Christmas in Boulogne as usual, the sea was rough as I crossed over to Dover. Since I had a cold, I went down to the second-class cabin, cleared some railway books off one of the tables, spread out my papers, and continued my translation—or rather my analysis—of the Iliad. Several people of all ages and genders were on the sofas, and they soon started to feel seasick. There was no steward around, so I got them each a basin and set it up for them as best as I could; then I sat back down at my table in the middle and carried on with my translation while they were sick all around me. I needed to get the Iliad well in my head before my lecture on The Humour of Homer, and I couldn't afford to waste a couple of hours, but I doubt Homer has ever been translated under such conditions. [1892.]

The Channel Passage

How holy people look when they are sea-sick!  There was a patient Parsee near me who seemed purified once and for ever from all taint of the flesh.  Buddha was a low, worldly minded, music-hall comic singer in comparison.  He sat like this for a long time until . . . and he made a noise like cows coming home to be milked on an April evening.

How strange holy people look when they're seasick! There was a calm Parsee next to me who seemed completely free from any earthly concerns. Buddha seems like a cheap, worldly comic compared to him. He sat that way for a long time until... and he made a sound like cows coming home to be milked on an April evening.

The Two Barristers at Ypres

When Gogin and I were taking our Easter holiday this year we went, among other places, to Ypres.  We put up at the Hôtel Tête d’Or and found it exquisitely clean, comfortable and cheap, with a charming old-world, last-century feeling.  It was Good Friday, and we were to dine maigre; this was so clearly de rigueur that we did not venture even the feeblest protest.

When Gogin and I were on our Easter holiday this year, we visited several places, including Ypres. We stayed at the Hôtel Tête d’Or and found it incredibly clean, comfortable, and affordable, with a lovely old-world, last-century vibe. It was Good Friday, and we were supposed to eat maigre; this was so clearly de rigueur that we didn’t even think about making any weak protests.

When we came down to dinner we were told that there were two other gentlemen, also English, who were to dine with us, and in due course they appeared—the one a man verging towards fifty-eight, a kind of cross between Cardinal Manning and the late Mr. John Parry, the other some ten years younger, amiable-looking and, I should say, not so shining a light in his own sphere as his companion.  These two sat on one side of the table and we opposite them.  There was an air about them both which said: “You are not to try to get into conversation with us; we shall not let you if you do; we dare say you are very good sort of people, but we have nothing in common; so long as you keep quiet we will not hurt you; but if you so much as ask us to pass the melted butter we will shoot you.”  We saw this and so, during the first two courses, talked sotto voce to one another, and made no attempt to open up communications.

When we came down for dinner, we were informed that two other English gentlemen would be joining us. Eventually, they arrived—one was a man nearing fifty-eight, resembling a mix between Cardinal Manning and the late Mr. John Parry, while the other was about ten years younger, friendly-looking, but not quite as prominent in his field as his companion. The two of them sat on one side of the table, and we faced them. There was a vibe about them that said: “Don’t even try to talk to us; we won’t engage if you do. You seem like decent people, but we have nothing in common; if you stay quiet, we won’t bother you; but if you so much as ask us to pass the melted butter, we’ll take action.” We picked up on this, so during the first two courses, we talked quietly among ourselves and didn’t make any effort to engage them.

With the third course, however, there was a new arrival in the person of a portly gentleman of about fifty-five, or from that to sixty, who was told to sit at the head of the table, and accordingly did so.  This gentleman had a decided manner and carried quite as many guns as the two barristers (for barristers they were) who sat opposite to us.  He had rather a red nose, he dined maigre because he had to, but he did not like it.  I do not think he dined maigre often.  He had something of the air of a half, if not wholly, broken-down blackguard of a gambler who had seen much but had moved in good society and been accustomed to have things more or less his own way.

With the third course, a new guest arrived at the table—a hefty man around fifty-five to sixty years old, who was directed to sit at the head of the table, which he did. This gentleman had a strong presence and carried as much weight in conversation as the two lawyers sitting across from us. He had a somewhat red nose, dined on light fare because he had to, but clearly didn’t enjoy it. I doubt he often had to eat that way. He had the vibe of a partially, if not completely, washed-up gambler who had experienced a lot but was once part of respectable society, used to getting his way.

This gentleman, who before he went gave us his card, immediately opened up conversation both with us and with our neighbours, addressing his remarks alternately and impartially to each.  He said he was an Italian who had the profoundest admiration for England.  I said at once—

This guy, who gave us his card before he left, immediately started chatting with both us and our neighbors, speaking to each of us in turn without any bias. He mentioned that he was Italian and had the deepest respect for England. I replied right away—

“Lei non può amare l’Inghilterra più che io amo ed ammiro l’Italia.”

“She can't love England more than I love and admire Italy.”

The Manning-Parry barrister looked up with an air of slightly offended surprise.  Conversation was from this point carried on between both parties through the Italian who acted, as Gogin said afterwards, like one of those stones in times of plague on which people from the country put their butter and eggs and people from the town their money.

The Manning-Parry lawyer looked up, slightly taken aback. From this point on, both sides communicated through the Italian, who acted, as Gogin later remarked, like one of those stones used during a plague where country folks would put their butter and eggs, and city folks would leave their money.

By and by dealings became more direct between us and at last, I know not how, I found myself in full discussion with the elder barrister as to whether Jean Van Eyck’s picture in the National Gallery commonly called “Portrait of John Arnolfini and his Wife” should not properly be held to be a portrait of Van Eyck himself (which, by the way, I suppose there is no doubt that it should not, though I have never gone into the evidence for the present inscription).  Then they spoke of the tricks of light practised by De Hooghe; so we rebelled, and said De Hooghe had no tricks—no one less—and that what they called trick was only observation and direct rendering of nature.  Then they applauded Tintoretto, and so did we, but still as men who were bowing the knee to Baal.  We put in a word for Gaudenzio Ferrari, but they had never heard of him.  Then they played Raffaelle as a safe card and we said he was a master of line and a facile decorator, but nothing more.

Gradually, our conversations became more straightforward, and eventually, I found myself deep in discussion with the older barrister about whether Jean Van Eyck’s painting in the National Gallery, commonly known as “Portrait of John Arnolfini and his Wife,” should actually be considered a self-portrait of Van Eyck (though I suppose it’s clear that it shouldn’t be, even if I’ve never examined the evidence for the current title). Then they talked about the light techniques used by De Hooghe; we disagreed and claimed De Hooghe had no tricks—no one could be less trickster-like—and that what they called tricks was really just keen observation and a direct representation of nature. Then they praised Tintoretto, and we did too, but still felt like we were bowing to an idol. We tried to mention Gaudenzio Ferrari, but they had never heard of him. Then they brought up Raffaelle as a safe choice, and we acknowledged he was a master of line and a skilled decorator, but nothing more.

On this all the fat was in the fire, for they had invested in Raffaelle as believing him to be the Three per Cents of artistic securities.  Did I not like the “Madonna di S. Sisto”?  I said, “No.”  I said the large photo looked well at a distance because the work was so concealed under a dark and sloppy glaze that any one might see into it pretty much what one chose to bring, while the small photo looked well because it had gained so greatly by reduction.  I said the Child was all very well as a child but a failure as a Christ, as all infant Christs must be to the end of time.  I said the Pope and female saint, whoever she was, were commonplace, as also the angels at the bottom.  I admitted the beauty of line in the Virgin’s drapery and also that the work was an effective piece of decoration, but I said it was not inspired by devotional or serious feeling of any kind and for impressiveness could not hold its own with even a very average Madonna by Giovanni Bellini.  They appealed to the Italian, but he said there was a great reaction against Raffaelle in Italy now and that few of the younger men thought of him as their fathers had done.  Gogin, of course, backed me up, so they were in a minority.  It was not at all what they expected or were accustomed to.  I yielded wherever I could and never differed without giving a reason which they could understand.  They must have seen that there was no malice prepense, but it always came round to this in the end that we did not agree with them.

On this, everything was at stake because they had invested in Raffaelle, believing he was the safest bet for artistic value. Did I like the “Madonna di S. Sisto”? I said, “No.” I pointed out that the large photo looked good from a distance because the artwork was so covered in a dark and messy glaze that anyone could interpret it however they wanted, while the small photo looked good because it improved significantly when reduced in size. I mentioned that the Child looked fine as a child but was a letdown as a Christ, which all infant Christs will be for eternity. I said the Pope and the female saint, whoever she was, were ordinary, as were the angels at the bottom. I acknowledged the beautiful lines in the Virgin’s drapery and that the piece was an effective decoration, but I argued it lacked any deep devotional or serious emotion and couldn’t compete in impact with even an average Madonna by Giovanni Bellini. They turned to the Italian, but he said there was a strong backlash against Raffaelle in Italy now, and that few of the younger artists regarded him as their fathers had. Gogin, of course, supported my view, so they were in the minority. It wasn’t at all what they expected or were used to. I conceded wherever I could and never disagreed without providing a reason they could understand. They must have seen there was no ill intent, but it always came back to the fact that we disagreed with them.

Then they played Leonardo Da Vinci.  I had not intended saying how cordially I dislike him, but presently they became enthusiastic about the head of the Virgin in the “Vierge aux Rochers” in our Gallery.  I said Leonardo had not succeeded with this head; he had succeeded with the angel’s head lower down to the right (I think) of the picture, but had failed with the Madonna.  They did not like my talking about Leonardo Da Vinci as now succeeding and now failing, just like other people.  I said it was perhaps fortunate that we knew the “Last Supper” only by engravings and might fancy the original to have been more full of individuality than the engravings are, and I greatly questioned whether I should have liked the work if I had seen it as it was when Leonardo left it.  As for his caricatures he should not have done them, much less preserved them; the fact of his having set store by them was enough to show that there was a screw loose about him somewhere and that he had no sense of humour.  Still, I admitted that I liked him better than I did Michael Angelo.

Then they talked about Leonardo Da Vinci. I hadn’t planned to say how much I disliked him, but soon they got excited about the Virgin's head in the “Vierge aux Rochers” in our Gallery. I mentioned that Leonardo didn’t really nail that head; he did a good job with the angel’s head a bit lower to the right (I think) of the picture, but he missed the mark with the Madonna. They weren’t thrilled with me saying that Leonardo Da Vinci could succeed sometimes and fail at others, just like anyone else. I mentioned it was probably a good thing we only know the “Last Supper” through engravings; it lets us imagine the original as being more distinctive than the engravings actually are, and I seriously doubted I would have liked the piece if I had seen it as it was when Leonardo left it. As for his caricatures, he shouldn't have made them, let alone kept them; the fact that he valued them suggests something was off with him and that he lacked a sense of humor. Still, I admitted that I liked him better than I liked Michelangelo.

Whatever we touched upon the same fatality attended us.  Fortunately neither evolution nor politics came under discussion, nor yet, happily, music, or they would have praised Beethoven and very likely Mendelssohn too.  They did begin to run Nuremberg and it was on the tip of my tongue to say, “Yes, but there’s the flavour of Faust and Goethe”; however, I did not.  In course of time the séance ended, though not till nearly ten o’clock, and we all went to bed.

Whatever we talked about, the same bad luck followed us. Luckily, we didn’t get into evolution or politics, and thankfully not music either, or they would have gushed over Beethoven and probably Mendelssohn too. They did start discussing Nuremberg, and I almost said, “Yes, but there’s the essence of Faust and Goethe”; however, I held back. Eventually, the gathering wrapped up, but not until nearly ten o’clock, and we all went to bed.

Next morning we saw them at breakfast and they were quite tame.  As Gogin said afterwards:

Next morning we saw them at breakfast, and they were pretty friendly. As Gogin said later:

“They came and sat on our fingers and ate crumbs out of our hands.”  [1887.]

“They came and sat on our fingers and ate crumbs from our hands.” [1887.]

At Montreuil-sur-Mer

Jones and I lunched at the Hôtel de France where we found everything very good.  As we were going out, the landlady, getting on towards eighty, with a bookish nose, pale blue eyes and a Giovanni Bellini’s Loredano Loredani kind of expression, came up to us and said, in sweetly apologetic accents:—

Jones and I had lunch at the Hôtel de France, and everything was great. As we were leaving, the landlady, who was nearly eighty, with a bookish nose, pale blue eyes, and a look reminiscent of Giovanni Bellini’s Loredano Loredani, approached us and said, in a gently apologetic tone:—

“Avez-vous donc déjeuné à peu près selon vos idées, Messieurs?”

“Avez-vous donc déjeuné à peu près selon vos idées, Messieurs?”

It would have been too much for her to suppose that she had been able to give us a repast that had fully realised our ideals, still she hoped that these had been, at any rate, adumbrated in the luncheon she had provided.  Dear old thing: of course they had and a great deal more than adumbrated.  [26 December, 1901.]

It would have been too much for her to think that she could give us a meal that fully met our expectations, but she hoped that at least some of those ideals had been hinted at in the lunch she had prepared. Dear old thing: of course they had, and so much more than just hinted. [26 December, 1901.]

p. 259XVII
Material for a Projected Sequel to Alps and Sanctuaries

Mrs. Dowe on Alps and Sanctuaries

After reading Alps and Sanctuaries Mrs. Dowe said to Ballard: “You seem to hear him talking to you all the time you are reading.”

After reading Alps and Sanctuaries Mrs. Dowe said to Ballard: “It feels like you can hear him talking to you the whole time you’re reading.”

I don’t think I ever heard a criticism of my books which pleased me better, especially as Mrs. Dowe is one of the women I have always liked.

I don’t think I’ve ever received a critique of my books that made me happier, especially since Mrs. Dowe is one of the women I’ve always admired.

Not to be Omitted

I must get in about the people one meets.  The man who did not like parrots because they were too intelligent.  And the man who told me that Handel’s Messiah was “très chic,” and the smell of the cyclamens “stupendous.”  And the man who said it was hard to think the world was not more than 6000 years old, and we encouraged him by telling him we thought it must be even more than 7000.  And the English lady who said of some one that “being an artist, you know, of course he had a great deal of poetical feeling.”  And the man who was sketching and said he had a very good eye for colour in the light, but would I be good enough to tell him what colour was best for the shadows.

I have to mention the interesting people I’ve met. There was the guy who didn’t like parrots because they were too smart. Then there was the guy who told me that Handel’s Messiah was “super classy,” and the scent of the cyclamens was “amazing.” There was also the guy who found it hard to believe the world was less than 6000 years old, and we played along by saying we thought it must be even older than 7000. And the English lady who remarked that “being an artist, you know, of course he had a lot of poetic feeling.” Lastly, there was the man sketching who claimed he had a great eye for color in the light, but asked if I could help him figure out what color was best for the shadows.

“An amateur,” he said, “might do very decent things in water-colour, but oils require genius.”

“An amateur,” he said, “might create some decent pieces in watercolor, but oil painting requires true genius.”

So I said: “What is genius?”

So I asked, “What is genius?”

“Millet’s picture of the Angelus sold for 700,000 francs.  Now that,” he said, “is genius.”

“Millet’s painting of the Angelus sold for 700,000 francs. Now that,” he said, “is genius.”

After which I was very civil to him.

After that, I was very polite to him.

At Bellinzona a man told me that one of the two towers was built by the Visconti and the other by Julius Cæsar, a hundred years earlier.  So, poor old Mrs. Barratt at Langar could conceive no longer time than a hundred years.  The Trojan war did not last ten years, but ten years was as big a lie as Homer knew.

At Bellinzona, a man told me that one of the two towers was built by the Visconti, and the other by Julius Caesar a hundred years earlier. So, poor old Mrs. Barratt at Langar couldn't imagine anything lasting longer than a hundred years. The Trojan War didn't last ten years, but ten years was as big a stretch as Homer ever came up with.

We went over the Albula Pass to St. Moritz in two diligences and could not settle which was tonic and which was dominant; but the carriage behind us was the relative minor.

We traveled over the Albula Pass to St. Moritz in two carriages and couldn't decide which one was tonic and which one was dominant; however, the carriage behind us was the relative minor.

There was a picture in the dining-room but we could not get near enough to see it; we thought it must be either Christ disputing with the Doctors or Louis XVI saying farewell to his family—or something of that sort.

There was a picture in the dining room, but we couldn't get close enough to see it; we figured it must be either Christ arguing with the Doctors or Louis XVI saying goodbye to his family—or something like that.

The Sacro Monte at Varese

The Sacro Monte is a kind of ecclesiastical Rosherville Gardens, eminently the place to spend a happy day.

The Sacro Monte is like a church-themed Rosherville Gardens, definitely the perfect spot to enjoy a fun day.

The processions were best at the last part of the ascent; there were pilgrims, all decked out with coloured feathers, and priests and banners and music and crimson and gold and white and glittering brass against the cloudless blue sky.  The old priest sat at his open window to receive the offerings of the devout as they passed, but he did not seem to get more than a few bambini modelled in wax.  Perhaps he was used to it.  And the band played the barocco music on the barocco little piazza and we were all barocco together.  It was as though the clergymen at Ladywell had given out that, instead of having service as usual, the congregation would go in procession to the Crystal Palace with all their traps, and that the band had been practising “Wait till the clouds roll by” for some time, and on Sunday, as a great treat, they should have it.

The processions were best at the end of the climb; there were pilgrims, all dressed up with colorful feathers, along with priests, banners, music, and a mix of crimson, gold, white, and shiny brass against the clear blue sky. The old priest sat at his open window to collect offerings from the faithful as they passed by, but he didn't seem to receive more than a few wax figures of bambini. Maybe he was used to it. The band played baroque music in the baroque little piazza, and we were all baroque together. It felt like the clergy at Ladywell had announced that, instead of having the usual service, the congregation would march in procession to the Crystal Palace with all their gear, and that the band had been rehearsing “Wait till the clouds roll by” for a while, and on Sunday, as a special treat, they would finally get to play it.

The Pope has issued an order saying he will not have masses written like operas.  It is no use.  The Pope can do much, but he will not be able to get contrapuntal music into Varese.  He will not be able to get anything more solemn than La Fille de Madame Angot into Varese.  As for fugues—!  I would as soon take an English bishop to the Surrey pantomime as to the Sacro Monte on a festa.

The Pope has announced that he won't allow masses to be written like operas. It's pointless. The Pope has a lot of power, but he won't be able to bring complex music to Varese. He won't manage to introduce anything more serious than La Fille de Madame Angot in Varese. And as for fugues—! I'd rather bring an English bishop to the Surrey pantomime than to the Sacro Monte on a festival day.

Then the pilgrims went into the shadow of a great rock behind the sanctuary, spread themselves out over the grass and dined.

Then the pilgrims moved into the shade of a large rock behind the sanctuary, spread out on the grass, and had their meal.

The Albergo Grotta Crimea

The entrance to this hotel at Chiavenna is through a covered court-yard; steps lead up to the roof of the court-yard, which is a terrace where one dines in fine weather.  A great tree grows in the court-yard below, its trunk pierces the floor of the terrace, and its branches shade the open-air dining-room.  The walls of the house are painted in fresco, with a check pattern like the late Lord Brougham’s trousers, and there are also pictures.  One represents Mendelssohn.  He is not called Mendelssohn, but I knew him by his legs.  He is in the costume of a dandy of some five-and-forty years ago, is smoking a cigar and appears to be making an offer of marriage to his cook. [261]  Down below is a fresco of a man sitting on a barrel with a glass in his hand.  A more absolutely worldly minded, uncultured individual it would be impossible to conceive.  When I saw these frescoes I knew I should get along all right and not be over-charged.

The entrance to this hotel in Chiavenna is through a covered courtyard; steps lead up to the roof of the courtyard, which is a terrace where you can dine when the weather is nice. A big tree grows in the courtyard below, its trunk going through the floor of the terrace, and its branches provide shade for the outdoor dining area. The walls of the building are painted in fresco, with a check pattern like the late Lord Brougham’s trousers, and there are also paintings. One features Mendelssohn. He's not named Mendelssohn, but I recognized him by his legs. He's dressed like a dandy from about forty-five years ago, smoking a cigar and seems to be proposing to his cook. [261] Down below is a fresco of a man sitting on a barrel with a glass in his hand. It would be hard to imagine a more completely worldly, uncultured person. When I saw these frescoes, I knew I would be fine and wouldn't be overcharged.

Public Opinion

The public buys its opinions as it buys its meat, or takes in its milk, on the principle that it is cheaper to do this than to keep a cow.  So it is, but the milk is more likely to be watered.

The public purchases its opinions like it buys its meat or gets its milk, based on the idea that it’s cheaper to do this than to own a cow. And while that’s true, the milk is more likely to be watered down.

These Notes

I make them under the impression that I may use them in my books, but I never do unless I happen to remember them at the right time.  When I wrote “Ramblings in Cheapside” [in the Universal Review, reprinted in Essays on Life, Art and Science] the preceding note about Public Opinion would have come in admirably; it was in my pocket, in my little black note-book, but I forgot all about it till I came to post my pocket-book into my note-book.

I save them thinking I might use them in my books, but I rarely do unless I happen to recall them at the right moment. When I wrote “Ramblings in Cheapside” [in the Universal Review, reprinted in Essays on Life, Art and Science], the earlier note about Public Opinion would have fit perfectly; it was in my pocket, in my little black notebook, but I completely forgot about it until I was about to transfer my pocket notes into my notebook.

The Wife of Bath

There are Canterbury Pilgrims every Sunday in summer who start from close to the old Tabard, only they go by the South-Eastern Railway and come back the same day for five shillings.  And, what is more, they are just the same sort of people.  If they do not go to Canterbury they go by the Clacton Belle to Clacton-on-Sea.  There is not a Sunday the whole summer through but you may find all Chaucer’s pilgrims, man and woman for man and woman, on board the Lord of the Isles or the Clacton Belle.  Why, I have seen the Wife of Bath on the Lord of the Isles myself.  She was eating her luncheon off an Ally Sloper’s Half-Holiday, which was spread out upon her knees.  Whether it was I who had had too much beer or she I cannot tell, God knoweth; and whether or no I was caught up into Paradise, again I cannot tell; but I certainly did hear unspeakable words which it is not lawful for a man to utter, and that not above fourteen years ago but the very last Sunday that ever was.  The Wife of Bath heard them too, but she never turned a hair.  Luckily I had my detective camera with me, so I snapped her there and then.  She put her hand up to her mouth at that very moment and rather spoiled herself, but not much.  [1891.]

Every Sunday in summer, there are pilgrims heading to Canterbury who start near the old Tabard. They take the South-Eastern Railway and return the same day for five shillings. What's more, they're just like the people in Chaucer's tales. If they’re not going to Canterbury, they’re on the Clacton Belle heading to Clacton-on-Sea. There isn’t a Sunday all summer when you won’t find all of Chaucer’s pilgrims, man for man and woman for woman, on the Lord of the Isles or the Clacton Belle. I’ve even seen the Wife of Bath on the Lord of the Isles myself. She was having her lunch off a copy of Ally Sloper’s Half-Holiday, which was spread across her knees. Whether I had too much beer or she did, I can’t say; only God knows. And whether or not I was taken up to Paradise, I can't tell either; but I definitely heard things that it’s not right for a man to speak of, and this was not more than fourteen years ago, just the very last Sunday that ever was. The Wife of Bath heard them too, but she didn’t flinch. Luckily, I had my camera with me, so I captured her right then. She raised her hand to her mouth at that moment and spoiled the shot a bit, but not too much. [1891.]

Horace at the Post-Office in Rome

When I was in Rome last summer whom should I meet but Horace.

When I was in Rome last summer, who should I run into but Horace.

I did not know him at first, and told him enquiringly that the post-office was in the Piazza Venezia?

I didn't know him at first, and asked him curiously if the post office was in Piazza Venezia.

He smiled benignly, shrugged his shoulders, said “Prego” and pointed to the post-office itself, which was over the way and, of course, in the Piazza S. Silvestro.

He smiled kindly, shrugged his shoulders, said “Prego” and pointed to the post office itself, which was across the way and, of course, in Piazza S. Silvestro.

Then I knew him.  I believe he went straight home and wrote an epistle to Mecænas, or whatever the man’s name was, asking how it comes about that people who travel hundreds of miles to see things can never see what is all the time under their noses.  In fact, I saw him take out his note-book and begin making notes at once.  He need not talk.  He was not a good man of business and I do not believe his books sold much better than my own.  But this does not matter to him now, for he has not the faintest idea that he ever wrote any of them and, more likely than not, has never even refreshed his memory by reading them.

Then I recognized him. I think he headed straight home and wrote a letter to Mecænas, or whatever that guy's name was, asking why people who travel hundreds of miles to see things can never seem to notice what's right in front of them. I actually saw him pull out his notebook and start jotting down notes immediately. He didn't need to speak. He wasn't very good at business, and I doubt his books sold any better than mine. But that doesn't bother him now, because he doesn't even remember writing any of them and probably hasn't even bothered to refresh his memory by reading them.

Beethoven at Faido and at Boulogne

I have twice seen people so unmistakably like Beethoven (just as Madame Patey is unmistakably like Handel and only wants dressing in costume to be the image of him not in features only but in figure and air and manner) that I always think of them as Beethoven.

I have seen people twice who resemble Beethoven so distinctly (just like Madame Patey clearly resembles Handel and only needs to dress in costume to be his image, not just in looks but also in stature, presence, and demeanor) that I always think of them as Beethoven.

Once, at Faido in the Val Leventina, in 1876 or 1877, when the engineers were there surveying for the tunnel, there was among them a rather fine-looking young German with wild, ginger hair that rang out to the wild sky like the bells in In Memoriam, and a strong Edmund Gurney cut, [263] who played Wagner and was great upon the overture to Lohengrin; as for Handel—he was not worth consideration, etc.  Well, this young man rather took a fancy to me and I did not dislike him, but one day, to tease him, I told him that a little insignificant-looking engineer, the most commonplace mortal imaginable, who was sitting at the head of the table, was like Beethoven.  He was very like him indeed, and Müller saw it, smiled and flushed at the same time.  He was short, getting on in years and was a little thick, though not fat.  A few days afterwards he went away and Müller and I happened to meet his box—an enormous cube of a trunk—coming down the stairs.

Once, in Faido, Val Leventina, around 1876 or 1877, when the engineers were surveying for the tunnel, there was a striking young German among them with wild, ginger hair that stood out against the sky like the bells in In Memoriam, and a strong Edmund Gurney vibe. He played Wagner and excelled at the overture to Lohengrin; as for Handel—he wasn't worth mentioning, etc. Anyway, this young guy seemed to take a liking to me, and I didn't mind him either. But one day, just to tease him, I told him that a little nondescript engineer, the most ordinary person you could imagine, sitting at the head of the table, was like Beethoven. He really did resemble him, and Müller noticed, smiled, and blushed at the same time. This engineer was short, getting on in years, and a bit stocky, though not overweight. A few days later, he left, and Müller and I happened to see his massive trunk—an enormous cube—coming down the stairs.

“That’s Beethoven’s box,” said Müller to me.

"That’s Beethoven’s box," Müller said to me.

“Oh,” I said, and, looking at it curiously for a moment, asked gravely, “And is he inside it?”  It seemed to fit him and to correspond so perfectly with him in every way that one felt as though if he were not inside it he ought to be.

“Oh,” I said, and, looking at it curiously for a moment, asked seriously, “Is he inside it?” It seemed to fit him and correspond so perfectly with him in every way that it felt like if he weren’t inside it, he should be.

The second time was at Boulogne this spring.  There were three Germans at the Hôtel de Paris who sat together, went in and out together, smoked together and did everything as though they were a unity in trinity and a trinity in unity.  We settled that they must be the Heckmann Quartet, minus Heckmann: we had not the smallest reason for thinking this but we settled it at once.  The middle one of these was like Beethoven also.  On Easter Sunday, after dinner, when he was a little—well, it was after dinner and his hair went rather mad—Jones said to me:

The second time was in Boulogne this spring. There were three Germans at the Hôtel de Paris who sat together, came and went together, smoked together, and did everything as if they were one in three and three in one. We decided that they must be the Heckmann Quartet, minus Heckmann: we had no real reason to think this, but we concluded it right away. The middle one of them looked a bit like Beethoven too. On Easter Sunday, after dinner, when he was a little—well, it was after dinner and his hair was rather wild—Jones said to me:

“Do you see that Beethoven has got into the posthumous quartet stage?” [1885.]

“Do you see that Beethoven is now in the posthumous quartet stage?” [1885.]

Silvio

In the autumn of 1884, Butler spent some time at Promontogno and Soglio in the Val Bregaglia, sketching and making notesAmong the children of the Italian families in the albergo was Silvio, a boy of ten or twelveHe knew a little English and was very fond of poetryHe could repeat, “How doth the little buzzy bee.”  The poem which pleased him best, however, was:

In the autumn of 1884, Butler spent some time at Promontogno and Soglio in the Val Bregaglia, sketching and taking notes. Among the children of the Italian families in the hotel was Silvio, a boy around ten or twelve. He knew a bit of English and loved poetry. He could recite, “How doth the little buzzy bee.” The poem he liked the most, however, was:

Hey diddle diddle,
The Cat and the Fiddle,
The Cow jumped over the Moon.

Hey diddle diddle,
The Cat and the Fiddle,
The Cow jumped over the Moon.

They had nothing, he said, in Italian literature so good as thisSilvio used to talk to Butler while he was sketching.

They had nothing, he said, in Italian literature that's as good as this. Silvio used to chat with Butler while he was sketching.

“And you shall read Longfellow much in England?”

“And you’ll read Longfellow a lot in England?”

“No,” I replied, “I don’t think we read him very much.”

“No,” I replied, “I don’t think we read him that often.”

“But how is that?  He is a very pretty poet.”

“But how is that? He’s a very good-looking poet.”

“Oh yes, but I don’t greatly like poetry myself.”

“Oh yeah, but I’m not really into poetry myself.”

“Why don’t you like poetry?”

"Why don't you like poetry?"

“You see, poetry resembles metaphysics, one does not mind one’s own, but one does not like any one else’s.”

“You see, poetry is like metaphysics; people don’t care about their own, but they don’t like anyone else’s.”

“Oh!  And what you call metaphysic?”

“Oh! And what do you mean by metaphysics?”

This was too much.  It was like the lady who attributed the decline of the Italian opera to the fact that singers would no longer “podge” their voices.

This was overwhelming. It was like the woman who claimed that the decline of Italian opera was due to singers no longer "podge" their voices.

“And what, pray, is ‘podging’?” enquired my informant of the lady.

“And what, may I ask, is ‘podging’?” my informant asked the lady.

“Why, don’t you understand what ‘podging’ is?  Well, I don’t know that I can exactly tell you, but I am sure Edith and Blanche podge beautifully.”

“Why don’t you get what ‘podging’ is? Well, I’m not sure I can really explain it, but I know that Edith and Blanche podge wonderfully.”

However, I said that metaphysics were la filosofia and this quieted him.  He left poetry and turned to prose.

However, I said that metaphysics were la filosofia and this calmed him down. He abandoned poetry and switched to prose.

“Then you shall like much the works of Washington Irving?”

“Then you must really like the works of Washington Irving?”

I was grieved to say that I did not; but I dislike Washington Irving so cordially that I determined to chance another “No.”

I was sad to say that I didn’t; but I dislike Washington Irving so much that I decided to risk another “No.”

“Then you shall like better Fenimore Cooper?”

“Then you must prefer Fenimore Cooper?”

I was becoming reckless.  I could not go on saying “No” after “No,” and yet to ask me to be ever so little enthusiastic about Fenimore Cooper was laying a burden upon me heavier than I could bear, so I said I did not like him.

I was getting careless. I couldn’t keep saying “No” over and over, but asking me to show even a bit of enthusiasm for Fenimore Cooper felt like a weight I couldn’t handle, so I said I didn’t like him.

“Oh, I see,” said the boy; “then it is Uncle Tom’s Cabin that you shall like?”

“Oh, I get it,” said the boy; “so it’s Uncle Tom’s Cabin that you’ll enjoy?”

Here I gave in.  More “Noes” I could not say, so, thinking I might as well be hung for a sheep as for a mutton chop, I said that I thought Uncle Tom’s Cabin one of the most wonderful and beautiful books that ever were written.

Here I gave in. More “Noes” I could not say, so, thinking I might as well be hung for a sheep as for a mutton chop, I said that I thought Uncle Tom’s Cabin was one of the most amazing and beautiful books ever written.

Having got at a writer whom I admired, he was satisfied, but not for long.

Having connected with a writer I admired, he was pleased, but not for long.

“And you think very much of the theories of Darwin in England, do you not?”

“And you hold the theories of Darwin in England in pretty high regard, don’t you?”

I groaned inwardly and said we did.

I sighed to myself and said we did.

“And what are the theories of Darwin?”

“And what are Darwin's theories?”

Imagine what followed!

Picture what happened next!

After which:

After that:

“Why do you not like poetry?—You shall have a very good university in London?” and so on.

“Why don’t you like poetry?—You’re going to have a really good university in London?” and so on.

Sunday Morning at Soglio

The quarantine men sat on the wall, dangling their legs over the parapet and singing the same old tune over and over again and the same old words over and over again.  “Fu tradito, fu tradito da una donna.”  To them it was a holiday.

The quarantine guys sat on the wall, swinging their legs over the edge and singing the same old song again and again and the same old words again and again. “Fu tradito, fu tradito da una donna.” For them, it was a celebration.

Two gnomes came along and looked at me.  I asked the first how old it was; it said fourteen.  They both looked about eight.  I said that the flies and the fowls ought to be put into quarantine, and the gnomes grinned and showed their teeth till the corners of their mouths met at the backs of their heads.

Two gnomes came by and stared at me. I asked the first one how old it was; it said fourteen. They both looked around eight. I pointed out that the flies and the birds should be quarantined, and the gnomes grinned, showing their teeth until the corners of their mouths reached the backs of their heads.

The skeleton of a bird was nailed up against a barn, and I said to a man: “Aquila?”

The skeleton of a bird was nailed to a barn, and I asked a man, “Aquila?”

He replied: “Aquila,” and I passed on.

He replied, “Aquila,” and I moved on.

The village boys came round me and sighed while they watched me sketching.  And the women came and exclaimed: “Oh! che testa, che testa!”

The village boys gathered around me and sighed as they watched me sketching. And the women came over and exclaimed, “Oh! What a talent, what a talent!”

And the bells in the windows of the campanile began, and I turned and looked up at their beautiful lolling and watched their fitful tumble-aboutiness.  They swung open-mouthed like elephants with uplifted trunks, and I wished I could have fed them with buns.  They were not like English bells, and yet they rang more all ’Inglese than bells mostly do in Italy—they had got it, but they had not got it right.

And the bells in the windows of the bell tower started chiming, and I turned to look up at their beautiful swaying and watched their erratic movement. They swung wide open like elephants with raised trunks, and I wished I could have fed them with pastries. They weren't like English bells, yet they rang more 'English' than most bells do in Italy—they had the vibe, but they hadn't quite got it right.

There used to be two crows, and when one disappeared the other came to the house where it had not been for a month.  While I was sketching it played with a woman who was weeding; it got on her back and tried to bite her hat; then it got down and pecked at the nails in her boots and tried to steal them.  It let her catch it, and then made a little fuss, but it did not fly away when she let it go, it continued playing with her.  Then it came to exploit me but would not come close up.  Signor Scartazzini says it will play with all the women of the place but not with men or boys, except with him.

There were two crows, and when one of them went missing, the other showed up at a house it hadn’t visited in a month. While I was sketching, it played with a woman who was weeding; it hopped onto her back and tried to peck at her hat. Then it jumped down and pecked at the nails in her boots, trying to steal them. It let her catch it and made a little fuss, but it didn’t fly away when she released it; it kept playing with her. After that, it came over to me but wouldn’t get too close. Signor Scartazzini says it will play with all the local women but not with men or boys, except for him.

Then there came a monk and passed by me, and I knew I had seen him before but could not think where till, of a sudden, it flashed across me that he was Valoroso XXIV, King of Paphlagonia, no doubt expiating his offences.

Then a monk came by me, and I realized I had seen him before but couldn't remember where until, all of a sudden, it hit me that he was Valoroso XXIV, King of Paphlagonia, probably doing penance for his wrongdoings.

And I watched the ants that were busy near my feet, and listened to them as they talked about me and discussed whether man has instinct.

And I observed the ants busy around my feet, listening as they talked about me and debated whether humans have instincts.

“What is he doing here?” they said; “he wasn’t here yesterday.  Certainly they have no instinct.  They may have a low kind of reason, but nothing approaching to instinct.  Some of the London houses show signs of instinct—Gower Street, for example, does really seem to suggest instinct; but it is all delusive.  It is curious that these cities of theirs should always exist in places where there are no ants.  They certainly anthropomorphise too freely.  Or is it perhaps that we formicomorphise more than we should?”

“What’s he doing here?” they said; “he wasn’t here yesterday. They really have no instincts. They might have a basic kind of reasoning, but nothing like instinct. Some of the houses in London show signs of instinct—like Gower Street, for instance, which really does seem to suggest instinct; but it's all misleading. It's strange that these cities of theirs always seem to be in places with no ants. They definitely give human traits too easily. Or maybe we give ant traits more than we should?”

And Silvio came by on his way to church.  It was he who taught all the boys in Soglio to make a noise.  Before he came up there was no sound to be heard in the streets, except the fountains and the bells.  I asked him whether the curate was good to him.

And Silvio stopped by on his way to church. He was the one who taught all the boys in Soglio how to make noise. Before he arrived, there was no sound in the streets, except for the fountains and the bells. I asked him if the curate treated him well.

“Si,” he replied, “è abbastanza buono.”

“Yeah,” he replied, “it's pretty good.”

I should think Auld Robin Gray was “abbastanza buono” to Mrs. Gray.

I think Auld Robin Gray was "pretty good" to Mrs. Gray.

One of the little girls told me that Silvio had so many centesimi and she had none.  I said at once:

One of the little girls told me that Silvio had a ton of coins and she didn't have any. I replied immediately:

“You don’t want any centesimi.”

"You don't want any cents."

As soon as these words fell from my lips, I knew I must be getting old.

As soon as I said these words, I realized I must be getting old.

And presently the Devil came up to me.  He was a nice, clean old man, but he dropped his h’s, and that was where he spoiled himself—or perhaps it was just this that threw me off my guard, for I had always heard that the Prince of Darkness was a perfect gentleman.  He whispered to me that in the winter the monks of St. Bernard sometimes say matins overnight.

And soon the Devil approached me. He was a nice, clean old man, but he didn't pronounce his h's, which is where he messed up—or maybe that’s what caught me off guard, since I had always heard that the Prince of Darkness was quite the gentleman. He whispered to me that during winter, the monks of St. Bernard sometimes hold matins the night before.

The blue of the mountains looks bluer through the chestnuts than through the pines.  The river is snowy against the “Verdi prati e selve amene.”  The great fat tobacco plant agrees with itself if not with us; I never saw any plant look in better health.  The briar knows perfectly well what it wants to do and that it does not want to be disturbed; it knows, in fact, all that it cares to know.  The question is how and why it got to care to know just these things and no others.  Two cheeky goats came tumbling down upon me and demanded salt, and the man came from the saw-mill and, with his great brown hands, scooped the mud from the dams of the rills that watered his meadow, for the hour had come when it was his turn to use the stream.

The blue of the mountains looks even bluer through the chestnuts than through the pines. The river stands out white against the “Verdi prati e selve amene.” The big, healthy tobacco plant seems to thrive on its own if not with us; I’ve never seen a plant look better. The briar knows exactly what it wants and doesn’t want to be bothered; it knows everything it wants to know. The question is how and why it came to care about just these things and nothing else. Two playful goats came tumbling down toward me and asked for salt, while the man from the sawmill came over and, with his large brown hands, scooped the mud out of the dams of the small streams that irrigated his meadow, as it was his turn to use the water.

There were cow-bells, mountain elder-berries and lots of flowers in the grass.  There was the glacier, the roar of the river and a plaintive little chapel on a green knoll under the great cliff of ice which cut the sky.  There was a fat, crumby woman making hay.  She said:

There were cowbells, mountain elderberries, and plenty of flowers in the grass. There was the glacier, the roar of the river, and a small, sad chapel on a green hill beneath the massive cliff of ice that touched the sky. There was a plump, crumbly woman making hay. She said:

“Buon giorno.”

"Good morning."

And the “i o r” of the “giorno” came out like oil and honey.  I saw she wanted a gossip.  She and her husband tuned their scythes in two-part, note-against-note counterpoint; but I could hear that it was she who was the canto fermo and he who was the counterpoint.  I peered down over the edge of the steep slippery slope which all had to be mown from top to bottom; if hay grew on the dome of St. Paul’s these dreadful traders would gather it in, and presently the autumn crocuses would begin to push up their delicate, naked snouts through the closely shaven surface.  I expressed my wonder.

And the “i o r” of the “giorno” came out like oil and honey. I could tell she wanted to gossip. She and her husband were tuning their scythes in a two-part, note-against-note counterpoint; but I could hear that she was the main melody and he was the harmony. I leaned over the edge of the steep, slippery slope that had to be mowed from top to bottom; if hay grew on the dome of St. Paul’s, these dreadful traders would gather it in, and soon the autumn crocuses would start to push their delicate, bare buds through the closely cropped surface. I expressed my amazement.

“Siamo esatti,” said the fat, crumby woman.

“That's right,” said the overweight, disheveled woman.

For what little things will not people risk their lives?  So Smith and I crossed the Rangitata.  So Esau sold his birthright.

For what small things will people put their lives on the line? So Smith and I crossed the Rangitata. So Esau sold his birthright.

It was noon, and I was so sheer above the floor of the valley and the sun was so sheer above me that the chestnuts in the meadow of Bondo squatted upon their own shadows and the gardens were as though the valley had been paved with bricks of various colours.  The old grass-grown road ran below, nearer the river, where many a good man had gone up and down on his journey to that larger road where the reader and the writer shall alike join him.

It was noon, and I was floating high above the valley floor, while the sun shone brightly above me, making the chestnuts in the Bondo meadow sit in their own shadows. The gardens looked like the valley had been paved with bricks of different colors. The old, grass-covered road stretched below, closer to the river, where many good people had traveled on their way to that bigger road where both the reader and the writer will eventually meet.

Fascination

I know a man, and one whom people generally call a very clever one, who, when his eye catches mine, if I meet him at an at home or an evening party, beams upon me from afar with the expression of an intellectual rattlesnake on having espied an intellectual rabbit.  Through any crowd that man will come sidling towards me, ruthless and irresistible as fate; while I, foreknowing my doom, sidle also him-wards, and flatter myself that no sign of my inward apprehension has escaped me.

I know a guy, and people usually say he's really smart, who, when he spots me at a gathering or a party, lights up with a look like an intellectual rattlesnake that’s spotted an intellectual rabbit. Through any crowd, he'll slither his way towards me, unavoidable and relentless like fate; while I, already knowing what’s coming, move towards him too, convincing myself that no hint of my inner anxiety shows.

Supreme Occasions

Men are seldom more commonplace than on supreme occasions.  I knew of an old gentleman who insisted on having the original polka played to him as he lay upon his death-bed.  In the only well-authenticated words I have ever met with as spoken by a man who knew he was going to be murdered, there is a commonness which may almost be called Shakespearean.  There had been many murders on or near some gold-fields in New Zealand about the years 1863 or 1864, I forget where but I think near the Nelson gold-fields, and at last the murderers were taken.  One was allowed to turn Queen’s evidence and gave an account of the circumstances of each murder.  One of the victims, it appeared, on being told they were about to kill him, said:

Men are rarely more ordinary than during the most important moments. I knew an old man who insisted on hearing the original polka while lying on his deathbed. In the only confirmed words I've ever encountered spoken by someone who knew he was about to be murdered, there's a commonness that could almost be described as Shakespearean. There had been several murders around some goldfields in New Zealand around 1863 or 1864; I can't remember exactly where, but I think it was near the Nelson goldfields. Eventually, the murderers were caught. One was allowed to testify for the prosecution and detailed the circumstances of each murder. According to the account, one of the victims, upon being told they were about to kill him, said:

“If you murder me, I shall be foully murdered.”

“If you kill me, I will be brutally murdered.”

Whereupon they murdered him and he was foully murdered.  It is a mistake to expect people to rise to the occasion unless the occasion is only a little above their ordinary limit.  People seldom rise to their greater occasions, they almost always fall to them.  It is only supreme men who are supreme at supreme moments.  They differ from the rest of us in this that, when the moment for rising comes, they rise at once and instinctively.

Whereupon they killed him, and it was a brutal murder. It's a mistake to think people will rise to the occasion unless the situation is only slightly above their usual limits. People rarely rise to their bigger challenges; they almost always fall short. Only exceptional individuals are truly great at critical moments. They are different from the rest of us because, when the time to step up arrives, they respond immediately and instinctively.

The Aurora Borealis

I saw one once in the Gulf of the St. Lawrence off the island of Anticosti.  We were in the middle of it, and seemed to be looking up through a great cone of light millions and millions of miles into the sky.  Then we saw it farther off and the pillars of fire stalked up and down the face of heaven like one of Handel’s great basses.

I saw one once in the Gulf of St. Lawrence off the island of Anticosti. We were right in the middle of it, and it felt like we were looking up through a massive cone of light millions and millions of miles into the sky. Then we saw it farther away, and the pillars of fire moved up and down the sky like one of Handel’s great basses.

In front of my room at Montreal there was a verandah from which a rope was stretched across a small yard to a chimney on a stable roof over the way.  Clothes were hung to dry on this rope.  As I lay in bed of a morning I could see the shadows and reflected lights from these clothes moving on the ceiling as the clothes were blown about by the wind.  The movement of these shadows and reflected lights was exactly that of the rays of an Aurora Borealis, minus colour.  I can conceive no resemblance more perfect.  They stalked across the ceiling with the same kind of movement absolutely.

In front of my room in Montreal, there was a porch with a rope stretched across a small yard to a chimney on a nearby stable roof. Clothes were hung to dry on this rope. As I lay in bed in the morning, I could see the shadows and reflections of these clothes moving on the ceiling as they were blown around by the wind. The movement of these shadows and reflections was exactly like the rays of an Aurora Borealis, but without the color. I can't think of a more perfect resemblance. They moved across the ceiling in the same way, absolutely.

A Tragic Expression

The three occasions when I have seen a really tragic expression upon a face were as follows:—

The three times I've seen a truly tragic expression on someone's face were as follows:—

(1)  When Mrs. Inglis in my room at Montreal heard my sausages frying, as she thought, too furiously in the kitchen, she left me hurriedly with a glance, and the folds of her dress as she swept out of the room were Niobean.

(1) When Mrs. Inglis in my room in Montreal heard my sausages frying, which she thought was too intense in the kitchen, she quickly left me with a glance, and the folds of her dress as she swept out of the room were reminiscent of Niobe.

(2)  Once at dinner I sat opposite a certain lady who had a tureen of soup before her and also a plate of the same to which she had just helped herself.  There was meat in the soup and I suppose she got a bit she did not like; instead of leaving it, she swiftly, stealthily, picked it up from her plate when she thought no one was looking and, with an expression which Mrs. Siddons might have studied for a performance of Clytemnestra, popped it back into the tureen.

(2) Once at dinner, I sat across from a lady who had a bowl of soup in front of her and also a plate of the same soup that she had just served herself. The soup had meat in it, and I guess she got a piece she didn’t like. Instead of leaving it, she quickly and secretly picked it up from her plate when she thought no one was watching and, with an expression that Mrs. Siddons could have studied for a role as Clytemnestra, put it back into the bowl.

(3)  There was an alarm of fire on an emigrant ship in mid-ocean when I was going to New Zealand and the women rushed aft with faces as in a Massacre of the Innocents.

(3) There was a fire alarm on an immigrant ship in the middle of the ocean when I was headed to New Zealand, and the women ran to the back with expressions like in a Massacre of the Innocents.

The Wrath to Come

On the Monte Generoso a lady who sat next me at the table-d’hôte was complaining of a man in the hotel.  She said he was a nuisance because he practised on the violin.  I excused him by saying that I supposed some one had warned him to fly from the wrath to come, meaning that he had conceptions of an ideal world and was trying to get into it.  (I heard a man say something like this many years ago and it stuck by me.)

On Monte Generoso, a woman sitting next to me at the table d’hôte was complaining about a guy at the hotel. She said he was annoying because he practiced on the violin. I defended him by saying that I figured someone had warned him to escape from the impending consequences, meaning that he had dreams of a perfect world and was trying to reach it. (I heard a man say something like this many years ago, and it has stuck with me.)

The Beauties of Nature

A man told me that at some Swiss hotel he had been speaking enthusiastically about the beauty of the scenery to a Frenchman who said to him:

A guy told me that at some Swiss hotel, he had been talking excitedly about how beautiful the scenery was to a Frenchman who replied:

“Aimez-vous donc les beautés de la nature?  Pour moi je les abborre.”

“Aimez-vous donc les beautés de la nature? Pour moi je les abborre.”

The Late King Vittorio Emanuele

Cavaliere Negri, at Casale-Monferrato, told me not long since that when he was a child, during the troubles of 1848 and 1849, the King was lunching with his (Cav. Negri’s) father who had provided the best possible luncheon in honour of his guest.  The King said:

Cavaliere Negri, in Casale-Monferrato, told me recently that when he was a child, during the troubles of 1848 and 1849, the King was having lunch with his (Cav. Negri’s) father, who had prepared the best possible lunch in honor of his guest. The King said:

“I can eat no such luncheon in times like these—give me some garlic.”

“I can't have lunch like that in times like these—just give me some garlic.”

The garlic being brought, he ate it along with a great hunch of bread, but would touch nothing else.

The garlic was brought to him, and he ate it with a large piece of bread but wouldn’t eat anything else.

The Bishop of Chichester at Faido

When I was at Faido in the Val Leventina last summer there was a lady there who remembered me in New Zealand; she had brought her children to Switzerland for their holiday; good people, all of them.  They had friends coming to them, a certain canon and his sister, and there was a talk that the Bishop of Chichester might possibly come too.  In course of time the canon and his sister came.  At first the sister, who was put to sit next me at dinner, was below zero and her brother opposite was hardly less freezing; but as dinner wore on they thawed and, from regarding me as the monster which in the first instance they clearly did, began to see that I agreed with them in much more than they had thought possible.  By and by they were reassured, became cordial and proved on acquaintance to be most kind and good.  They soon saw that I liked them, and the canon let me take him where I chose.  I took him to the place where the Woodsias grow and we found some splendid specimens.  I took him to Mairengo and showed him the double chancel.  Coming back he said I had promised to show him some Alternifolium.  I stopped him and said:

When I was in Faido in the Val Leventina last summer, there was a lady there who recognized me from New Zealand; she had brought her kids to Switzerland for their vacation; really nice people, all of them. They had friends visiting them, a certain canon and his sister, and there was talk that the Bishop of Chichester might show up too. Eventually, the canon and his sister arrived. At first, the sister, who sat next to me at dinner, was really cold, and her brother across from me was hardly any warmer; but as dinner went on, they relaxed and started to see that I shared more common ground with them than they initially thought. Before long, they were more at ease, became friendly, and turned out to be very kind and good once we got to know each other. They quickly realized that I liked them, and the canon let me take him wherever I wanted. I brought him to the spot where the Woodsias grow, and we found some amazing specimens. I took him to Mairengo and showed him the double chancel. On the way back, he said I had promised to show him some Alternifolium. I stopped him and said:

“Here is some,” for there happened to be a bit in the wall by the side of the path.

“Here is some,” because there was a small opening in the wall next to the path.

This quite finished the conquest, and before long I was given to understand that the bishop really would come and we were to take him pretty near the Woodsias and not tell him, and he was to find them out for himself.  I have no doubt that the bishop had meant coming with the canon, but then the canon had heard from the New Zealand lady that I was there, and this would not do at all for the bishop.  Anyhow the canon had better exploit me by going first and seeing how bad I was.  So the canon came, said I was all right and in a couple of days or so the bishop and his daughters arrived.

This pretty much wrapped up the conquest, and soon I was told that the bishop would indeed come, and we were to take him close to the Woodsias without telling him, so he could discover them on his own. I’m sure the bishop intended to come with the canon, but then the canon heard from the New Zealand woman that I was here, and that wouldn’t work for the bishop at all. Anyway, it was better for the canon to check me out first and see how bad I was. So, the canon came, said I was fine, and a couple of days later, the bishop and his daughters showed up.

The bishop did not speak to me at dinner, but after dinner, in the salon, he made an advance in the matter of the newspaper and, I replying, he began a conversation which lasted the best part of an hour, and during which I trust I behaved discreetly.  Then I bade him “Good-night” and left the room.

The bishop didn’t talk to me at dinner, but after dinner, in the living room, he brought up the topic of the newspaper. When I responded, he started a conversation that lasted for most of an hour, and I hope I acted appropriately. Then I said “Good night” and left the room.

Next morning I saw him eating his breakfast and said “Good-morning” to him.  He was quite ready to talk.  We discussed the Woodsia Ilvensis and agreed that it was a mythical species.  It was said in botany books to grow near Guildford.  We dismissed this assertion.  But he remarked that it was extraordinary in what odd places we sometimes do find plants; he knew a single plant of Asplenium Trichomanes which had no other within thirty miles of it; it was growing on a tombstone which had come from a long distance and from a Trichomanes country.  It almost seemed as if the seeds and germs were always going about in the air and grew wherever they found a suitable environment.  I said it was the same with our thoughts; the germs of all manner of thoughts and ideas are always floating about unperceived in our minds and it was astonishing sometimes in what strange places they found the soil which enabled them to take root and grow into perceived thought and action.  The bishop looked up from his egg and said:

The next morning, I saw him eating breakfast and said, “Good morning.” He was more than ready to chat. We talked about the Woodsia Ilvensis and agreed that it was a fictional species. Botany books claimed it grew near Guildford, but we dismissed that idea. However, he noted how unusual it was to find plants in strange places; he mentioned a single Asplenium Trichomanes that had no others within thirty miles. It was growing on a tombstone that had traveled a long way from its native Trichomanes area. It almost seemed like the seeds and spores were constantly in the air, sprouting wherever they found the right conditions. I said it was the same with our thoughts; the seeds of all kinds of ideas are always floating around unnoticed in our minds, and it’s surprising sometimes where they find the right circumstances to take root and develop into clear thoughts and actions. The bishop looked up from his egg and said:

“That is a very striking remark,” and then he went on with his egg as though if I were going to talk like that he should not play any more.

“That’s a really striking comment,” and then he continued with his egg as if to say that if I was going to talk like that, he wouldn’t play anymore.

Thinking I was not likely to do better than this, I retreated immediately and went away down to Claro where there was a confirmation and so on to Bellinzona.

Thinking I probably wouldn't find anything better, I immediately left and headed down to Claro, where there was a confirmation and then onward to Bellinzona.

In the morning I had asked the waitress how she liked the bishop.

In the morning, I asked the waitress what she thought of the bishop.

“Oh! beaucoup, beaucoup,” she exclaimed, “et je trouve son nez vraiment noble.”  [1886.]

“Oh! so much, so much,” she exclaimed, “and I truly find his nose really noble.” [1886.]

At Piora

I am confident that I have written the following note in one or other of the earlier of these volumes, but I have searched my precious indexes in vain to find it.  No doubt as soon as I have retold the story I shall stumble upon it.

I’m sure I’ve written the following note in one of the earlier volumes, but I’ve looked through my precious indexes without success. I’m certain that as soon as I retell the story, I’ll come across it.

One day in the autumn of 1886 I walked up to Piora from Airolo, returning the same day.  At Piora I met a very nice quiet man whose name I presently discovered, and who, I have since learned, is a well-known and most liberal employer of labour somewhere in the north of England.  He told me that he had been induced to visit Piora by a book which had made a great impression upon him.  He could not recollect its title, but it had made a great impression upon him; nor yet could he recollect the author’s name, but the book had made a great impression upon him; he could not remember even what else there was in the book; the only thing he knew was that it had made a great impression upon him.

One day in the fall of 1886, I walked up to Piora from Airolo and returned the same day. At Piora, I met a really nice, quiet man whose name I found out later. I've since learned that he’s a well-known and very generous employer of workers somewhere in the north of England. He told me he had come to Piora because of a book that had deeply affected him. He couldn’t remember the title, but it had really stuck with him; he also couldn’t recall the author’s name, but the book had left a strong impression on him. He couldn’t even remember what else was in the book; all he knew was that it had made a huge impact on him.

This is a good example of what is called a residuary impression.  Whether or no I told him that the book which had made such a great impression upon him was called Alps and Sanctuaries (see Chap. VI), and that it had been written by the person he was addressing, I cannot tell.  It would be very like me to have blurted it all out and given him to understand how fortunate he had been in meeting me; this would be so fatally like me that the chances are ten to one that I did it; but I have, thank Heaven, no recollection of sin in this respect, and have rather a strong impression that, for once in my life, I smiled to myself and said nothing.

This is a good example of what’s known as a residual impression. Whether or not I told him that the book that made such a big impact on him was called Alps and Sanctuaries (see Chap. VI), and that it was written by the person he was talking to, I can't say. It would be just like me to have let it slip and made him realize how lucky he was to meet me; this would be so typically me that the odds are high that I did it; but thankfully, I have no memory of doing that, and I have a pretty strong feeling that, for once in my life, I just smiled to myself and kept quiet.

At Ferentino

After dinner I ordered a coffee; the landlord, who also had had his dinner, asked me to be good enough to defer it for another year and I assented.  I then asked him which was the best inn at Segni.  He replied that it did not matter, that when a man had quattrini one albergo was as good as another.  I said, No; that more depended on what kind of blood was running about inside the albergatore than on how many quattrini the guest had in his pocket.  He smiled and offered me a pinch of the most delicious snuff.  His wife came and cleared the table, having done which she shed the water bottle over the floor to keep the dust down.  I am sure she did it all to all the blessed gods that live in heaven, though she did not say so.

After dinner, I ordered a coffee; the landlord, who had also eaten, asked me to kindly put it off for another year and I agreed. I then asked him what the best inn in Segni was. He replied that it didn't matter, that when a man has money, one inn is as good as another. I said, "No; it's more about the character of the innkeeper than how much money the guest has." He smiled and offered me a pinch of the most delicious snuff. His wife came and cleared the table, and after that, she spilled the water bottle on the floor to keep the dust down. I'm sure she did it all for the blessed gods in heaven, though she didn't say it.

The Imperfect Lady

There was one at a country house in Sicily where I was staying.  She had been lent to my host for change of air by his friend the marchese.  She dined at table with us and we all liked her very much.  She was extremely pretty and not less amiable than pretty.  In order to reach the dining-room we had to go through her bedroom as also through my host’s.  When the monsignore came, she dined with us just the same, and the old priest evidently did not mind at all.  In Sicily they do not bring the scent of the incense across the dining-room table.  And one would hardly expect the attempt to be made by people who use the oath “Santo Diavolo.”

There was one at a country house in Sicily where I was staying. She had been lent to my host for a change of scenery by his friend, the marquis. She dined with us at the table, and we all liked her a lot. She was extremely pretty and just as charming as she was beautiful. To get to the dining room, we had to walk through her bedroom as well as my host’s. When the monsignor came, she dined with us too, and the old priest clearly didn’t mind at all. In Sicily, they don’t bring the scent of incense across the dining room table. And you wouldn’t really expect that to happen with people who use the phrase “Santo Diavolo.”

Siena and S. Gimignano

At Siena last spring, prowling round outside the cathedral, we saw an English ecclesiastic in a stringed, sub-shovel hat.  He had a young lady with him, presumably a daughter or niece.  He eyed us with much the same incurious curiosity as that with which we eyed him.  We passed them and went inside the duomo.  How far less impressive is the interior (indeed I had almost said also the exterior) than that of San Domenico!  Nothing palls so soon as over-ornamentation.

At Siena last spring, wandering around outside the cathedral, we saw an English church official wearing a tall, pointed hat. He had a young woman with him, likely a daughter or niece. He looked at us with the same indifferent curiosity that we looked at him. We walked past them and went inside the duomo. The interior is so much less impressive (and I almost said the exterior too) compared to that of San Domenico! Nothing gets old faster than too much decoration.

A few minutes afterwards my Lord and the young lady came in too.  It was Sunday and mass was being celebrated.  The pair passed us and, when they reached the fringe of the kneeling folk, the bishop knelt down too on the bare floor, kneeling bolt upright from the knees, a few feet in front of where we stood.  We saw him and I am sure he knew we were looking at him.  The lady seemed to hesitate but, after a minute or so, she knuckled down by his side and we left them kneeling bolt upright from the knees on the hard floor.

A few minutes later, my Lord and the young lady came in as well. It was Sunday, and mass was being held. The two walked past us, and when they reached the edge of the kneeling crowd, the bishop knelt down too on the bare floor, sitting upright from the knees, just a few feet in front of where we stood. We saw him, and I’m sure he noticed we were looking at him. The lady hesitated for a moment, but after a minute or so, she knelt down beside him, and we left them both kneeling straight up on the hard floor.

I always cross myself and genuflect when I go into a Roman Catholic church, as a mark of respect, but Jones and Gogin say that any one can see I am not an old hand at it.  How rudimentary is the action of an old priest!  I saw one once at Venice in the dining-room of the Hotel la Luna who crossed himself by a rapid motion of his fork just before he began to eat, and Miss Bertha Thomas told me she saw an Italian lady at Varallo at the table-d’hôte cross herself with her fan.  I do not cross myself before eating nor do I think it incumbent upon me to kneel down on the hard floor in church—perhaps because I am not an English bishop.  We were sorry for this one and for his young lady, but it was their own doing.

I always cross myself and kneel when I enter a Roman Catholic church as a sign of respect, but Jones and Gogin say it’s obvious I’m not very experienced at it. How simple it is for an old priest! I once saw one in Venice at the dining room of Hotel la Luna who crossed himself with a quick motion of his fork just before he started eating, and Miss Bertha Thomas told me she saw an Italian lady at Varallo at the table d’hôte cross herself with her fan. I don’t cross myself before eating, nor do I feel it’s necessary to kneel on the hard floor in church—maybe because I’m not an English bishop. We felt sorry for him and his girlfriend, but it was their own doing.

We then went into the Libreria to see the frescoes by Pinturicchio—which we did not like—and spent some little time in attending to them.  On leaving we were told to sign our names in a book and did so.  As we were going out we met the bishop and his lady coming in; whether they had been kneeling all the time, or whether they had got up as soon we were gone and had spent the time in looking round I cannot say, but, when they had seen the frescoes, they would be told to sign their names and, when they signed, they would see ours and, I flatter myself, know who we were.

We then went into the library to see the frescoes by Pinturicchio, which we didn't like, and spent a little time looking at them. When we left, we were asked to sign our names in a book, and we did. As we were heading out, we ran into the bishop and his wife coming in. I’m not sure if they had been kneeling the whole time or if they got up as soon as we left and spent the time looking around. However, after they looked at the frescoes, they would need to sign their names, and when they did, they would see ours and, I hope, recognize who we were.

On returning to our hotel we were able to collect enough information to settle in our own minds which particular bishop he was.

On returning to our hotel, we gathered enough information to figure out which specific bishop he was.

A day or two later we went to Poggibonsi, which must have been an important place once; nothing but the walls remain now, the city within them having been razed by Charles V.  At the station we took a carriage, and our driver, Ulisse Pogni, was a delightful person, second baritone at the Poggibonsi Opera and principal fly-owner of the town.  He drove us up to S. Gimignano and told us that the people still hold the figures in Benozzo Gozzoli’s frescoes to be portraits of themselves and say: “That’s me,” and “That’s so and so.”

A day or two later, we went to Poggibonsi, which must have been an important place once; now, only the walls remain, as the city inside them was destroyed by Charles V. At the station, we took a carriage, and our driver, Ulisse Pogni, was a delightful person—he was the second baritone at the Poggibonsi Opera and the town's main fly-owner. He drove us up to San Gimignano and told us that the people still think the figures in Benozzo Gozzoli’s frescoes are portraits of themselves and say, “That’s me,” and “That’s so-and-so.”

Of course we went to see the frescoes, and as we were coming down the main street, from the Piazza on which the Municipio stands, who should be mounting the incline but our bishop and his lady.  The moment he saw us, he looked cross, stood still and began inspecting the tops of the houses on the other side of the street; so also did the lady.  There was nothing of the smallest interest in these and we neither of us had the smallest doubt that he was embarrassed at meeting us and was pretending not to notice us.  I have seldom seen any like attempt more clumsily and fatuously done.  Whether he was saying to himself, “Good Lord! that wretch will be putting my kneeling down into another Alps and Sanctuaries or Ex Voto”; or whether it was only that we were a couple of blackguard atheists who contaminated the air all round us, I cannot tell; but on venturing to look back a second or two after we had passed them, the bishop and the lady had got a considerable distance away.

Of course we went to see the frescoes, and as we were coming down the main street from the Piazza where the Municipio is located, who should be walking up the incline but our bishop and his wife. The moment he saw us, he looked annoyed, stopped, and started examining the rooftops on the other side of the street; she did the same. There was absolutely nothing interesting about those rooftops, and we both had no doubt that he was uncomfortable meeting us and was pretending not to see us. I have rarely seen such a clumsy and ridiculous attempt at avoidance. Whether he was thinking to himself, “Good Lord! That guy will be putting my kneeling down into another Alps and Sanctuaries or Ex Voto”; or whether it was just that we were a couple of unruly atheists who ruined the atmosphere around us, I can't say; but when I dared to glance back a moment after we had passed them, the bishop and his wife had moved quite a distance away.

As we returned our driver took us about 4 kilometres outside Poggibonsi to San Lucchese, a church of the 12th or 13th century, greatly decayed, but still very beautiful and containing a few naïf frescoes.  He told us he had sung the Sanctus here at the festa on the preceding Sunday.  In a room adjoining the church, formerly, we were told, a refectory, there is a very good fresco representing the “Miraculous Draught of Fishes” by Gerino da Pistoja (I think, but one forgets these names at once unless one writes them down then and there).  It is dated—I think (again!)—about 1509, betrays the influence of Perugino but is more lively and interesting than anything I know by that painter, for I cannot call him master.  It is in good preservation and deserves to be better, though perhaps not very much better, known than it is.  Our driver pointed out that the baskets in which the fishes are being collected are portraits of the baskets still in use in the neighbourhood.

As we headed back, our driver took us about 4 kilometers outside Poggibonsi to San Lucchese, a church from the 12th or 13th century. It was greatly decayed, but still very beautiful and had a few naïve frescoes. He told us he had sung the Sanctus there at the festa the previous Sunday. In a room next to the church, which used to be a refectory, there’s a really good fresco depicting the “Miraculous Draught of Fishes” by Gerino da Pistoja (I think, but I tend to forget these names unless I write them down right away). It’s dated—I think (again!)—around 1509, shows the influence of Perugino but is more lively and interesting than anything I know from that painter, whom I can’t call a master. It’s well-preserved and deserves to be better known, though perhaps not by much. Our driver pointed out that the baskets used to collect the fish are portraits of the ones still in use in the area.

After we had returned to London we found, in the Royal Academy Exhibition, a portrait of our bishop which, though not good, was quite good enough to assure us that we had not been mistaken as to his diocese.

After we returned to London, we came across a portrait of our bishop at the Royal Academy Exhibition, which, although not great, was more than enough to confirm that we hadn’t been wrong about his diocese.

The Etruscan Urns at Volterra

As regards the way in which the Etruscan artists kept to a few stock subjects, this has been so in all times and countries.

As for how Etruscan artists focused on a limited number of common themes, this has been true throughout all times and places.

When Christianity convulsed the world and displaced the older mythology, she did but introduce new subjects of her own, to which her artists kept as closely as their pagan ancestors had kept to their heathen gods and goddesses.  We now make believe to have freed ourselves from these trammels, but the departure is more apparent than real.  Our works of art fall into a few well-marked groups and the pictures of each group, though differing in detail, present the same general characters.  We have, however, broken much new ground, whereas until the last three or four hundred years it almost seems either as if artists had thought subject a detail beneath their notice, or publics had insisted on being told only what they knew already.

When Christianity shook the world and replaced older mythology, it introduced new themes of its own, which its artists adhered to just as closely as their pagan predecessors clung to their old gods and goddesses. We now pretend to have liberated ourselves from these constraints, but the change is more superficial than substantial. Our artworks fall into a few clear categories, and the pieces in each category, while different in specifics, share the same overall traits. However, we have explored a lot of new territory, while for the past three or four hundred years, it almost seems like artists either regarded subject matter as a minor detail or audiences insisted on only seeing what they were already familiar with.

The principle of living only to see and to hear some new thing, and the other principle of avoiding everything with which we are not perfectly familiar are equally old, equally universal, equally useful.  They are the principles of conservation and accumulation on the one hand, and of adventure, speculation and progress on the other, each equally indispensable.  The money has been, and will probably always be more persistently in the hands of the first of these two groups.  But, after all, is not money an art?  Nay, is it not the most difficult on earth and the parent of all?  And if life is short and art long, is not money still longer?  And are not works of art, for the most part, more or less works of money also?  In so far as a work of art is a work of money, it must not complain of being bound by the laws of money; in so far as it is a work of art, it has nothing to do with money and, again, cannot complain.

The idea of living just to see and hear something new, and the idea of avoiding anything we're not completely familiar with, are both really old, universal, and valuable. They represent the principles of conservation and accumulation on one side, and adventure, speculation, and progress on the other—each essential in its own way. Money has historically been and likely will always be more consistently held by the first group. But really, isn’t money an art form? In fact, isn’t it the most challenging art on earth and the source of all others? And if life is short and art is long, isn’t money even longer? Aren't most works of art, to some extent, also works of money? If a piece of art is a product of money, it shouldn’t complain about being governed by the rules of money; and if it is truly a work of art, it has nothing to do with money and therefore can’t complain either.

It is a great help to the spectator to know the subject of a picture and not to be bothered with having to find out all about the story.  Subjects should be such as either tell their own story instantly on the face of them, or things with which all spectators may be supposed familiar.  It must not be forgotten that a work exposed to public view is addressed to a great many people and should accordingly consider many people rather than one.  I saw an English family not long since looking at a fine collection of the coins of all nations.  They hardly pretended even to take a languid interest in the French, German, Dutch and Italian coins, but brightened up at once on being shown a shilling, a florin and a half-crown.  So children do not want new stories; they look for old ones.

It really helps the viewer to know what a picture is about instead of having to figure out the whole story themselves. The subjects should either immediately convey their own story or involve things that everyone is likely familiar with. It's important to remember that a piece displayed for the public is meant for a lot of people, so it should appeal to many rather than just one. I recently saw an English family looking at an impressive collection of coins from around the world. They barely showed any interest in the French, German, Dutch, and Italian coins but immediately perked up when they saw a shilling, a florin, and a half-crown. Just like kids, people don’t necessarily want new stories; they look for the familiar ones.

“Mamma dear, will you please tell us the story of ‘The Three Bears’?”

“Mama, can you please tell us the story of 'The Three Bears'?”

“No, my love, not to-day, I have told it you very often lately and I am busy.”

“No, my love, not today. I've told you this many times recently, and I'm busy.”

“Very well, Mamma dear, then we will tell you the story of ‘The Three Bears.’”

“Alright, Mom, then we’ll tell you the story of ‘The Three Bears.’”

The Iliad and the Odyssey are only “The Three Bears” upon a larger scale.  Just as the life of a man is only the fission of two amœbas on a larger scale.  Cui non dictus Hylas puer et Latonia Delos?  That was no argument against telling it again, but rather for repeating it.  So people look out in the newspapers for what they know rather than for what they do not know, and the better they know it the more interested they are to see it in print and, as a general rule, unless they get what they expect—or think they know already—they are angry.  This tendency of our nature culminates in the well-known lines repeated for ever and ever:

The Iliad and the Odyssey are just like “The Three Bears” but on a bigger scale. Just like a person's life is simply two amœbas replicating on a larger scale. Cui non dictus Hylas puer et Latonia Delos? That was not a reason to avoid telling it again, but rather a reason to share it once more. People tend to look in the newspapers for what they already know instead of what they don’t. The better they know something, the more interested they are to see it in print, and generally speaking, if they don’t get what they expect—or what they think they already know—they get upset. This aspect of our nature is summed up in the well-known lines that are repeated over and over:

The battle of the Nile
I was there all the while;
I was there all the while
At the battle of the Nile.
The battle of . . .

The battle of the Nile
I was there the whole time;
I was there the whole time
At the battle of the Nile.
The battle of . . .

And so on ad lib.  Even this will please very young children.  As they grow older they want to hear about nothing but “The Three Bears.”  As they mature still further they want the greater invention and freer play of fancy manifested by such people as Homer and our west-end upholsterers, beyond which there is no liberty, but only eccentricity and extravagance.

And so on and so forth. Even this will delight very young children. As they get older, they only want to hear about "The Three Bears." As they continue to mature, they seek the more complex and imaginative storytelling from people like Homer and our local upholsterers, beyond which there's no freedom, just oddity and excess.

So it is with all fashion.  Fashions change, but not radically except after convulsion and, even then, the change is more apparent than real, the older fashions continually coming back as new ones.

So it is with all fashion. Fashions change, but not drastically unless there's a major upheaval, and even then, the change seems more noticeable than it actually is, with older styles constantly returning as new trends.

So it is not only as regards choice of subject but also as regards treatment of subject within the limits of the work itself, after the subject is chosen.  No matter whether the utterance of a man’s inner mind is attempted by way of words, painting, or music, the same principle underlies all these three arts and, of course, also those arts that are akin to them.  In each case a man should have but one subject easily recognisable as the main motive, and in each case he must develop, treat and illustrate this by means of episodes and details that are neither so alien to the subject as to appear lugged in by the heels, nor yet so germane to it as to be identical.  The treatment grows out of the subject as the family from the parents and the race from the family—each new-born member being the same and yet not the same with those that have preceded him.  So it is with all the arts and all the sciences—they flourish best by the addition of but little new at a time in comparison with the old.

It’s not just about choosing a subject; it’s also about how that subject is treated within the work itself after it’s chosen. Whether someone expresses their inner thoughts through words, painting, or music, the same principle applies to all three arts, as well as those that are similar. In each case, a person should focus on one main subject that is easily recognizable, and they must develop, treat, and illustrate it with episodes and details that are not so unrelated that they seem forced in, nor so related that they are identical. The treatment comes from the subject, like a family comes from its parents and a race comes from the family—each new member is similar yet distinct from those that came before. This is true for all arts and sciences—they thrive best with only a little new added at a time compared to what already exists.

And so, lastly, it is with the ars artium itself, that art of arts and science of sciences, that guild of arts and crafts which is comprised within each one of us, I mean our bodies.  In the detail they are nourished from day to day by food which must not be too alien from past food or from the body itself, nor yet too germane to either; and in the gross, that is to say, in the history of the development of a race or species, the evolution is admittedly for the most part exceedingly gradual, by means of many generations, as it were, of episodes that are kindred to and yet not identical with the subject.

So, in conclusion, it relates to the ars artium itself, that art of arts and science of sciences, that community of arts and crafts that exists within each of us, meaning our bodies. On a detailed level, they are sustained day by day by food that shouldn't be too different from what we've eaten before or from our bodies, nor too similar to either; and on a broader scale, meaning in the history of how a race or species develops, the evolution is mostly very gradual, involving many generations, so to speak, of experiences that are related but not identical to the subject.

And when we come to think of it, we find in the evolution of bodily form (which along with modification involves persistence of type) the explanation why persistence of type in subjects chosen for treatment in works of art should be so universal.  It is because we are so averse to great changes and at the same time so averse to no change at all, that we have a bodily form, in the main, persistent and yet, at the same time, capable of modifications.  Without a strong aversion to change its habits and, with its habits, the pabulum of its mind, there would be no fixity of type in any species and, indeed, there would be no life at all, as we are accustomed to think of life, for organs would disappear before they could be developed, and to try to build life on such a shifting foundation would be as hopeless as it would be to try and build a material building on an actual quicksand.  Hence the habits, cries, abodes, food, hopes and fears of each species (and what are these but the realities of which human arts are as the shadow?) tell the same old tales in the same old ways from generation to generation, and it is only because they do so that they appear to us as species at all.

And when we think about it, we see in the evolution of physical form (which, along with changes, involves a consistency of type) the reason why consistency in the subjects chosen for art is so common. It’s because we really dislike major changes and at the same time dislike no change whatsoever, that our physical form remains mostly consistent while still being able to adapt. Without a strong resistance to changing its habits and, with those habits, the nourishment of its mind, there would be no stability of type in any species, and in fact, there wouldn't be any life as we understand it, since organs would vanish before they had a chance to develop, and trying to base life on such an unstable foundation would be as futile as trying to build a physical structure on actual quicksand. So, the habits, calls, homes, food, hopes, and fears of each species (and what are these if not the realities that human arts reflect?) continue to tell the same old stories in the same old ways from one generation to the next, and it’s only because they do that they seem to us to be distinct species at all.

Returning now to the Etruscan cinerary urns—I have no doubt that, perhaps three or four thousand years hence, a collection of the tombstones from some of our suburban cemeteries will be thought exceedingly interesting, but I confess to having found the urns in the Museum at Volterra a little monotonous and, after looking at about three urns, I hurried over the remaining 397 as fast as I could.  [1889.]

Returning now to the Etruscan cinerary urns—I have no doubt that, maybe three or four thousand years from now, a collection of tombstones from some of our suburban cemeteries will be considered really interesting, but I admit that I found the urns in the Museum at Volterra a bit boring and, after looking at about three urns, I rushed through the remaining 397 as quickly as I could. [1889.]

The Quick and the Dead

The walls of the houses [in an Italian village] are built of brick and the roofs are covered with stone.  They call the stone “vivo.”  It is as though they thought bricks were like veal or mutton and stones like bits out of the living calf or sheep.  [279]

The houses in the Italian village are made of brick, and the roofs are covered with stone. They refer to the stone as “vivo.” It’s as if they believe bricks are similar to veal or mutton, and stones are like pieces taken from a living calf or sheep. [279]

The Grape-Filter

When the water of a place is bad, it is safest to drink none that has not been filtered through either the berry of a grape, or else a tub of malt.  These are the most reliable filters yet invented.

When the water in a place is poor, it's best to drink none that hasn't been filtered through either grape berries or a malt tub. These are the most trustworthy filters we've come up with so far.

Bertoli and his Bees

Giacomo Bertoli of Varallo-Sesia keeps a watch and clock shop in the street.  He is a cheery little old gentleman, though I do not see why I should call him old for I doubt his being so old as I am.  He and I have been very good friends for years and he is always among the first to welcome me when I go to Varallo.

Giacomo Bertoli of Varallo-Sesia runs a watch and clock shop on the street. He’s a cheerful old gentleman, though I’m not sure why I should call him old since I doubt he’s older than I am. He and I have been good friends for years, and he’s always one of the first to greet me when I visit Varallo.

He is one of the most famous bee-masters in Europe.  He keeps some of his bees during the winter at Camasco not very far from Varallo, others in other places near and moves them up to Alagna, at the head of the Val Sesia, towards the end of May that they may make their honey from the spring flowers—and excellent honey they make.

He is one of the most renowned beekeepers in Europe. He keeps some of his bees during the winter in Camasco, not too far from Varallo, and others in nearby places. He relocates them to Alagna, at the top of the Val Sesia, around the end of May so they can produce honey from the spring flowers—and they make excellent honey.

About a fortnight ago I happened to meet him bringing down ten of his hives.  He was walking in front and was immediately followed by two women each with crates on their backs, and each carrying five hives.  They seemed to me to be ordinary deal boxes, open at the top, but covered over with gauze which would keep the bees in but not exclude air.  I asked him if the bees minded the journey, and he replied that they were very angry and had a great deal to say about it; he was sure to be stung when he let them out.  He said it was “un lavoro improbo,” and cost him a great deal of anxiety.

About two weeks ago, I ran into him as he was bringing down ten of his beehives. He was walking in front, followed closely by two women, each carrying crates on their backs, with five hives inside each. They looked like regular wooden boxes, open at the top but covered with gauze that kept the bees in while allowing air to flow. I asked him if the bees were okay with the journey, and he replied that they were really upset and had a lot to say about it; he was sure he would get stung when he let them out. He said it was “un lavoro improbo,” and it caused him a lot of stress.

“The Lost Chord”

It should be “The Lost Progression,” for the young lady was mistaken in supposing she had ever heard any single chord “like the sound of a great Amen.”  Unless we are to suppose that she had already found the chord of C Major for the final syllable of the word and was seeking the chord for the first syllable; and there she is on the walls of a Milanese restaurant arpeggioing experimental harmonies in a transport of delight to advertise Somebody and Someone’s pianos and holding the loud pedal solidly down all the time.  Her family had always been unsympathetic about her music.  They said it was like a loose bundle of fire-wood which you never can get across the room without dropping sticks; they said she would have been so much better employed doing anything else.

It should be “The Lost Progression,” because the young woman was wrong to think she had ever heard any single chord “like the sound of a great Amen.” Unless we assume she had already found the C Major chord for the last syllable of the word and was looking for the chord for the first syllable; and there she is on the walls of a Milanese restaurant playing around with experimental harmonies in a state of bliss to promote Somebody and Someone’s pianos, keeping the pedal pressed down the entire time. Her family had always been dismissive of her music. They said it was like a messy pile of firewood that you can never carry across the room without dropping sticks; they claimed she would have been much better off doing anything else.

Fancy being in the room with her while she was strumming about and hunting after her chord!  Fancy being in heaven with her when she had found it!

Fancy being in the room with her while she was playing around and searching for her chord! Fancy being in heaven with her when she finally found it!

Introduction of Foreign Plants

I have brought back this year some mountain auriculas and the seed of some salvia and Fusio tiger-lily, and mean to plant the auriculas and to sow the seeds in Epping Forest and elsewhere round about London.  I wish people would more generally bring back the seeds of pleasing foreign plants and introduce them broadcast, sowing them by our waysides and in our fields, or in whatever situation is most likely to suit them.  It is true, this would puzzle botanists, but there is no reason why botanists should not be puzzled.  A botanist is a person whose aim is to uproot, kill and exterminate every plant that is at all remarkable for rarity or any special virtue, and the rarer it is the more bitterly he will hunt it down.

I’ve brought back some mountain auriculas and seeds of salvia and Fusio tiger-lily this year, and I plan to plant the auriculas and sow the seeds in Epping Forest and other places around London. I wish more people would bring back seeds of beautiful foreign plants and spread them around, planting them by our roadsides and in our fields, or wherever they’ll thrive best. It’s true this would confuse botanists, but there’s no reason they shouldn’t be puzzled. A botanist is someone whose goal is to uproot, kill, and wipe out every plant that’s notable for its rarity or unique value, and the rarer it is, the more aggressively they’ll hunt it down.

Saint Cosimo and Saint Damiano at Siena

Sano di Pietro shows us a heartless practical joke played by these two very naughty saints, both medical men, who should be uncanonised immediately.  It seems they laid their heads together and for some reason, best known to themselves, resolved to cut a leg off a dead negro and put it on to a white man.  In the one compartment they are seen in high glee cutting the negro’s leg off.  In the next they have gone to the white man who is in bed, obviously asleep, and are substituting the black leg for his own.  Then, no doubt, they will stand behind the door and see what he does when he wakes.  They must be saints because they have glories on, but it looks as though a glory is not much more to be relied on than a gig as a test of respectability.  [1889.]

Sano di Pietro shows us a callous prank pulled by these two very mischievous saints, both of whom are doctors and definitely should be stripped of their sainthood. It seems they teamed up and, for reasons only they understand, decided to cut off a leg from a deceased Black man and attach it to a white man. In one scene, they're joyfully chopping off the Black man’s leg. In the next, they’re with the white man, who is clearly asleep in bed, swapping out his leg for the Black leg. Then, no doubt, they plan to hide behind the door and watch what he does when he wakes up. They must be saints because they have halos, but it seems a halo is just as questionable as a title in judging someone's respectability. [1889.]

At Pienza

At Pienza, after having seen the Museum with a custode whom I photoed as being more like death, though in excellent health and spirits, than any one I ever saw, I was taken to the leading college for young ladies, the Conservatorio di S. Carlo, under the direction of Signora (or Signorina, I do not know which) Cesira Carletti, to see the wonderful Viale of the twelfth or thirteenth century given to Pienza by Pope Æneas Sylvius Piccolomini (Pius II) and stolen a few years since, but recovered.  Signora Carletti was copying parts of it in needlework, nor can I think that the original was ever better than the parts which she had already done.  The work would take weeks or even months to examine with any fullness, and volumes to describe.  It is as prodigal of labour, design and colour as nature herself is.  In fact it is one of those things that nature has a right to do but not art.  It fatigues one to look at it or think upon it and, bathos though it be to say so, it won the first prize at the Exhibitions of Ecclesiastical Art Work held a few years ago at Rome and at Siena.  It has taken Signora Carletti months to do even the little she has done, but that little must be seen to be believed, for no words can do justice to it.

At Pienza, after exploring the museum with a curator who, although in great health and high spirits, looked more like death than anyone I've ever seen, I was taken to the top college for young women, the Conservatorio di S. Carlo, run by Signora (or Signorina, I'm not sure) Cesira Carletti. I went to see the stunning Viale from the twelfth or thirteenth century, which was gifted to Pienza by Pope Æneas Sylvius Piccolomini (Pius II) and was stolen a few years ago, but has since been recovered. Signora Carletti was working on needlepoint replicas of parts of it, and I can't help but think that the pieces she had completed were perhaps even better than the original. The work would require weeks or even months to be fully appreciated, and it would take volumes to describe. It showcases as much labor, design, and color as nature itself. In fact, it's one of those things that only nature has the right to create, not art. Just looking at it or thinking about it is tiring, and although it may seem trivial to say this, it won the first prize at the Exhibitions of Ecclesiastical Art held a few years ago in Rome and Siena. It has taken Signora Carletti months to finish even her small portion, but that little bit must be seen to be believed, as no words can truly capture it.

Having seen the Viale, I was shown round the whole establishment, and can imagine nothing better ordered.  I was taken over the dormitories—very nice and comfortable—and, finally, not without being much abashed, into the room where the young ladies were engaged upon needlework.  It reminded me of nothing so much as of the Education of the Virgin Chapel at Oropa. [282]  I was taken to each young lady and did my best to acquit myself properly in praising her beautiful work but, beautiful as the work of one and all was, it could not compare with that of Signora Carletti.  I asked her if she could not get some of the young ladies to help her in the less important parts of her work, but she said she preferred doing it all herself.  They all looked well and happy and as though they were well cared for, as I am sure they are.

Having seen the Viale, I was shown around the entire place, and I can't imagine anything better organized. I toured the dormitories—very nice and comfortable—and eventually, though somewhat embarrassed, I was brought into the room where the young ladies were working on their needlework. It reminded me a lot of the Education of the Virgin Chapel at Oropa. [282] I was introduced to each young lady and tried my best to compliment her beautiful work, but even though all their work was lovely, none could compare to Signora Carletti's. I asked her if she could have some of the young ladies assist her with the less important parts of her work, but she said she preferred to handle everything herself. They all looked healthy and happy, as if they were well cared for, which I’m sure they are.

Then Signora Carletti took me to the top of the house to show me the meteorological room of which she is superintendent, and which is in connection with the main meteorological observatory at Rome.  Again I found everything in admirable order, and left the house not a little pleased and impressed with everything I had seen.  [1889.]

Then Signora Carletti took me to the top of the house to show me the weather room she oversees, which is connected to the main weather observatory in Rome. Again, I found everything in great order, and I left the house quite pleased and impressed with all I had seen. [1889.]

Homer’s Hot and Cold Springs

The following extract is taken from a memorandum Butler made of a visit he paid to Greece and the Troad in the spring of 1895.  In the Iliad (xxii. 145) Homer mentions hot and cold springs where the Trojan women used to wash their clothesThere are no such springs near Hissarlik, where they ought to be, but the American Consul at the Dardanelles told Butler there was something of the kind on Mount Ida, at the sources of the Scamander, and he determined to see them after visiting HissarlikHe was provided with an interpreter, Yakoub, an attendant, Ahmed, an escort of one soldier and a horseHe went first to the Consul’s farm at Thymbra, about five miles from Hissarlik, where he spent the night and found itall very like a first-class New Zealand sheep-station.”  The next day he went to Hissarlik and saw no reason for disagreeing with the received opinion that it is the site of TroyHe then proceeded to Bunarbashi and so to Bairemitch, passing on the way a saw-mill where there was a Government official with twenty soldiers under himThis official was much interested in the traveller and directed his men to take carpets and a dish of trout, caught that morning in the Scamander, and carry them up to the hot and cold springs while he himself accompanied ButlerSo they set off and the official, Ismail, showed him the way and pointed out the springs, and there is a long note about the hot and cold water.

The following excerpt is taken from a memo Butler wrote about his visit to Greece and the Troad in the spring of 1895. In the Iliad (xxii. 145) Homer talks about hot and cold springs where the Trojan women used to wash their clothes. There are no such springs near Hissarlik, which is where they should be, but the American Consul at the Dardanelles told Butler that something similar exists on Mount Ida, at the sources of the Scamander, and he decided to check them out after visiting Hissarlik. He was accompanied by an interpreter, Yakoub, a helper, Ahmed, an escort of one soldier, and a horse. He first went to the Consul’s farm at Thymbra, about five miles from Hissarlik, where he spent the night and found itvery much like a first-class New Zealand sheep station.” The next day he went to Hissarlik and saw no reason to disagree with the prevailing belief that it is the site of Troy. He then continued to Bunarbashi and on to Bairemitch, passing by a sawmill where a Government official was with twenty soldiers. This official was very interested in the traveler and ordered his men to take carpets and a dish of trout, caught that morning in the Scamander, and carry them up to the hot and cold springs while he accompanied Butler. So they set off, and the official, Ismail, showed him the way and pointed out the springs, and there is a long note about the hot and cold water.

And now let me return to Ismail Gusbashi, the excellent Turkish official who, by the way, was with me during all my examination of the springs, and whose assurances of their twofold temperature I should have found it impossible to doubt, even though I had not caught one warmer cupful myself.  His men, while we were at the springs, had spread a large Turkey carpet on the flower-bespangled grass under the trees, and there were three smaller rugs at three of the corners.  On these Ismail and Yakoub and I took our places.  The other two were cross-legged, but I reclining anyhow.  The sun shimmered through the spring foliage.  I saw two hoopoes and many beautiful birds whose names I knew not.  Through the trees I could see the snow-fields of Ida far above me, but it was hopeless to think of reaching them.  The soldiers and Ahmed cooked the trout and the eggs all together; then we had boiled eggs, bread and cheese and, of course, more lamb’s liver done on skewers like cats’ meat.  I ate with my pocket-knife, the others using their fingers in true Homeric fashion.

And now let me go back to Ismail Gusbashi, the great Turkish official who was with me during my entire exploration of the springs, and whose claims about the two different temperatures I would have found impossible to doubt, even if I hadn’t personally caught a warmer cupful. While we were at the springs, his men laid out a large Turkish carpet on the flower-filled grass beneath the trees, with three smaller rugs at three of the corners. Ismail, Yakoub, and I took our places on these rugs. The other two sat cross-legged, while I reclined however I liked. The sun sparkled through the spring leaves. I spotted two hoopoes and many beautiful birds I didn’t know the names of. Between the trees, I could see the snowy peaks of Ida far above me, but it was pointless to think about reaching them. The soldiers and Ahmed cooked the trout and eggs together; then we had boiled eggs, bread and cheese, and of course, more lamb’s liver grilled on skewers like kabobs. I ate with my pocket knife, while the others used their fingers in the classic Homeric style.

When we had put from us “the desire of meat and drink,” Ismail began to talk to me.  He said he had now for the first time in his life found himself in familiar conversation with Wisdom from the West (that was me), and that, as he greatly doubted whether such another opportunity would be ever vouchsafed to him, he should wish to consult me upon a matter which had greatly exercised him.  He was now fifty years old and had never married.  Sometimes he thought he had done a wise thing, and sometimes it seemed to him that he had been very foolish.  Would I kindly tell him which it was and advise him as to the future?  I said he was addressing one who was in much the same condition as himself, only that I was some ten years older.  We had a saying in England that if a man marries he will regret it, and that if he does not marry he will regret it.

When we had set aside “the desire for food and drink,” Ismail started to talk to me. He said that for the first time in his life, he found himself engaged in a casual conversation with Wisdom from the West (which was me), and since he seriously doubted that he would get another chance like this, he wanted to discuss something that had been weighing heavily on his mind. He was now fifty years old and had never married. Sometimes he thought he had made a wise choice, and other times it seemed to him that he had been very foolish. Could I please tell him which it was and give him advice for the future? I told him he was talking to someone who was in a similar situation, only I was about ten years older. We have a saying in England that if a man marries, he will regret it, and if he doesn’t marry, he will also regret it.

“Ah!” said Ismail, who was leaning towards me and trying to catch every word I spoke, though he could not understand a syllable till Yakoub interpreted my Italian into Turkish.  “Ah!” he said, “that is a true word.”

“Ah!” said Ismail, leaning toward me and trying to catch every word I spoke, even though he couldn't understand a thing until Yakoub translated my Italian into Turkish. “Ah!” he said, “that’s a true statement.”

In my younger days, I said (may Heaven forgive me!), I had been passionately in love with a most beautiful young lady, but—and here my voice faltered, and I looked very sad, waiting for Yakoub to interpret what I had said—but it had been the will of Allah that she should marry another gentleman, and this had broken my heart for many years.  After a time, however, I concluded that these things were all settled for us by a higher Power.

In my younger days, I admitted (may God forgive me!), I was passionately in love with a stunning young woman, but—and here my voice trailed off, and I looked quite somber, waiting for Yakoub to interpret my words—but it was the will of God that she ended up marrying another man, and that broke my heart for many years. Eventually, though, I came to realize that these things are all determined for us by a higher Power.

“Ah! that is a true word.”

“Ah! that is a true statement.”

“And so, my dear sir, in your case I should reflect that if Allah” (and I raised my hand to Heaven) “had desired your being married, he would have signified his will to you in some way that you could hardly mistake.  As he does not appear to have done so, I should recommend you to remain single until you receive some distinct intimation that you are to marry.”

“And so, my dear sir, in your case, I think that if Allah” (and I raised my hand to Heaven) “wanted you to get married, He would have made it clear to you in a way that you couldn't possibly misunderstand. Since it doesn’t seem that He has, I suggest you stay single until you get a clear sign that you are meant to marry.”

“Ah! that is a true word.”

“Ah! that is a true statement.”

“Besides,” I continued, “suppose you marry a woman with whom you think you are in love and then find out, after you have been married to her for three months, that you do not like her.  This would be a very painful situation.”

“Besides,” I continued, “what if you marry a woman you think you love and then, after three months of being married, you realize you don’t actually like her? That would be a really painful situation.”

“Ah, yes, indeed! that is a true word.”

“Ah, yes, definitely! That is a true statement.”

“And if you had children who were good and dutiful, it would be delightful; but suppose they turned out disobedient and ungrateful—and I have known many such cases—could anything be more distressing to a parent in his declining years?”

“And if you had children who were obedient and respectful, it would be wonderful; but what if they turned out to be disobedient and ungrateful—and I’ve seen many cases like that—could anything be more heartbreaking for a parent in their later years?”

“Ah! that is a true word that you have spoken.”

“Ah! that is a true statement you have made.”

“We have a great Imaum,” I continued, “in England; he is called the Archbishop of Canterbury and gives answers to people who are in any kind of doubt or difficulty.  I knew one gentleman who asked his advice upon the very question that you have done me the honour of propounding to myself.”

“We have a great Imam,” I continued, “in England; he’s called the Archbishop of Canterbury and provides guidance to people who are facing any kind of doubt or difficulty. I knew a gentleman who sought his advice on the exact question you’ve honored me by asking.”

“Ah! and what was his answer?”

“Ah! And what did he say?”

“He told him,” said I, “that it was cheaper to buy the milk than to keep a cow.”

“He told him,” I said, “that it was cheaper to buy the milk than to keep a cow.”

“Ah! ah! that is a most true word.”

“Ah! ah! that is a very true statement.”

Here I closed the conversation, and we began packing up to make a start.  When we were about to mount, I said to him, hat in hand:

Here I wrapped up the conversation, and we started packing up to head out. Just as we were getting ready to leave, I said to him, holding my hat in my hand:

“Sir, it occurs to me with great sadness that, though you will, no doubt, often revisit this lovely spot, yet it is most certain that I shall never do so.  Promise me that when you come here you will sometimes think of the stupid old Englishman who has had the pleasure of lunching with you to-day, and I promise that I will often think of you when I am at home again in London.”

“Sir, it makes me really sad to think that, although you will probably come back to this beautiful place many times, I will most likely never return. Promise me that when you’re here, you’ll sometimes think of the silly old Englishman who had the pleasure of having lunch with you today, and I promise that I’ll often think of you when I’m back home in London.”

He was much touched, and we started.  After we had gone about a mile, I suddenly missed my knife.  I knew I should want it badly many a time before we got to the Dardanelles, and I knew perfectly well where I should find it: so I stopped the cavalcade and said I must ride back for it.  I did so, found it immediately and returned.  Then I said to Ismail:

He was really moved, and we set off. After we'd traveled about a mile, I suddenly realized I had lost my knife. I knew I would need it a lot before we reached the Dardanelles, and I knew exactly where to look for it: so I stopped the group and said I needed to ride back for it. I did, found it right away, and came back. Then I said to Ismail:

“Sir, I understand now why I was led to leave my knife behind me.  I had said it was certain I should never see that enchanting spot again, but I spoke presumptuously, forgetting that if Allah” (and I raised my hand to Heaven) “willed it I should assuredly do so.  I am corrected, and with great leniency.”

“Sir, I now understand why I was meant to leave my knife behind. I had confidently claimed that I would never see that beautiful place again, but I was being arrogant, forgetting that if Allah” (and I raised my hand to Heaven) “wants it, then I certainly will. I stand corrected, and with great humility.”

Ismail was much affected.  The good fellow immediately took off his watch-chain (happily of brass and of no intrinsic value) and gave it me, assuring me that it was given him by a very dear friend, that he had worn it for many years, and valued it greatly—would I keep it as a memorial of himself?  Fortunately I had with me a little silver match-box which Alfred had given me and which had my name engraved on it.  I gave it to him, but had some difficulty in making him accept it.  Then we rode on till we came to the saw-mills.  I ordered two lambs for the ten soldiers who had accompanied us, having understood from Yakoub that this would be an acceptable present.  And so I parted from this most kind and friendly gentleman with every warm expression of cordiality on both sides.

Ismail was really touched. The good guy immediately took off his watch chain (thankfully it was just brass and not worth anything) and gave it to me, insisting that it was a gift from a very dear friend, that he'd worn it for many years, and that he valued it a lot—would I keep it as a reminder of him? Fortunately, I had a little silver matchbox with me that Alfred had given me, and it had my name engraved on it. I offered it to him, but had a hard time convincing him to accept it. Then we rode on until we reached the sawmills. I ordered two lambs for the ten soldiers who had come with us, having learned from Yakoub that this would be a welcome gift. And so I parted ways with this incredibly kind and friendly gentleman, exchanging warm expressions of goodwill on both sides.

I sent him his photograph which I had taken, and I sent his soldiers their groups also—one for each man—and in due course I received the following letter of thanks.  Alas!  I have never written in answer.  I knew not how to do it.  I knew, however, that I could not keep up a correspondence, even though I wrote once.  But few unanswered letters more often rise up and smite me.  How the Post Office people ever read “Bueter, Ciforzin St.” into “Butler, Clifford’s Inn” I cannot tell.  What splendid emendators of a corrupt text they ought to make!  But I could almost wish that they had failed, for it has pained me not a little that I have not replied.

I sent him the photograph I took, and I also sent his soldiers their group photos—one for each of them—and eventually, I received a thank-you letter. Unfortunately, I've never written back. I didn't know how to respond. However, I knew I couldn't keep up a correspondence even if I wrote once. Very few unanswered letters haunt me as much as this one does. I really can’t understand how the Post Office turned “Bueter, Ciforzin St.” into “Butler, Clifford’s Inn.” They should be great editors of a messy text! But I almost wish they hadn’t figured it out, because it really bothers me that I haven’t replied.

Mr. Samuel Bueter,
         No. 15 Ciforzin St. London, England.

Mr. Samuel Bueter,
         15 Ciforzin St.
London, England.

Dardanelles,
August 4/95.

Dardanelles,
August 4, 1895.

Mr. Samuel.  England.

Mr. Samuel. UK.

My dear Friend,

My dear Friend,

Many thanks for the phothograph you have send me.  It was very kind of you to think of me to send me this token of your remembrance.  I certainly, appreciate it, and shall think of you whenever I look at it.  Ah My Dear Brother, it is impossible for me to forget you.  under favorable circumstance I confess I must prefer you.  I have a grate desire to have the beautifull chance to meet you.  Ah then with the tears of gladness to be the result of the great love of our friendness A my Sir what pen can describe the meeting that shall be come with your second visit if it please God.

Many thanks for the photograph you sent me. It was very kind of you to think of me and send this token of your remembrance. I truly appreciate it and will think of you whenever I look at it. Ah, my dear brother, it’s impossible for me to forget you. Under favorable circumstances, I must admit I prefer you. I have a strong desire to have the beautiful opportunity to meet you. Ah, then with tears of joy from the great love of our friendship! My dear sir, what words can describe the meeting that will happen with your second visit, if it pleases God?

It is my pray to Our Lord God to protect you and to keep you glad and happy for ever.

It is my prayer to Our Lord God to protect you and keep you joyful and happy forever.

Though we are far from each other yet we can speak with letters.

Though we're far apart, we can still communicate through letters.

Thank God to have your love of friendness with me and mine with your noble person.

Thank God for your friendship and for the love I have for your noble self.

Hopeing to hear from you,

Hoping to hear from you,

Yours truly,

Sincerely,

Ismayel, from
Byramich hizar memuerue iuse bashi.

Ismail, from
Byramich is the chief of the region.

p. 288XVIII
Material for Erewhon Revisited

Apologise for the names in Erewhon.  I was an unpractised writer and had no idea the names could matter so much.

Say sorry for the names in Erewhon. I was an inexperienced writer and had no clue the names could mean so much.

Give a map showing the geography of Erewhon in so far as the entrance into the country goes, and explain somewhere, if possible, about Butler’s stones.

Give a map showing the geography of Erewhon as far as the entrance to the country, and explain somewhere, if possible, about Butler’s stones.

Up as far as the top of the pass, where the statues are, keeps to the actual geography of the upper Rangitata district except that I have doubled the gorge.  There was no gorge up above my place [Mesopotamia] and I wanted one, so I took the gorge some 10 or a dozen miles lower down and repeated it and then came upon my own country again, but made it bare of grass and useless instead of (as it actually was) excellent country.  Baker and I went up the last saddle we tried and thought it was a pass to the West Coast, but found it looked down on to the headwaters of the Rakaia: however we saw a true pass opposite, just as I have described in Erewhon, only that there were no clouds and we never went straight down as I said I did, but took two days going round by Lake Heron.  And there is no lake at the top of the true pass.  This is the pass over which, in consequence of our report, Whitcombe was sent and got drowned on the other side.  We went up to the top of the pass but found it too rough to go down without more help than we had.  I rather think I have told this in A First Year in Canterbury Settlement, but am so much ashamed of that book that I dare not look to see.  I don’t mean to say that the later books are much better; still they are better.

Up to the top of the pass, where the statues are, it sticks to the actual geography of the upper Rangitata district, except I’ve doubled the gorge. There wasn’t a gorge above my place [Mesopotamia], and I wanted one, so I took the gorge from about 10 or 12 miles lower down, repeated it, and then found my own area again, but made it bare of grass and useless instead of (as it actually was) great land. Baker and I went up the last saddle we tried and thought it was a pass to the West Coast, but discovered it looked down on the headwaters of the Rakaia; however, we saw a real pass across from us, just as I described in Erewhon, only there were no clouds, and we didn’t go straight down like I said we did, but took two days making our way around by Lake Heron. And there’s no lake at the top of the real pass. This is the pass over which, because of our report, Whitcombe was sent and drowned on the other side. We went up to the top of the pass but found it too rough to go down without more help than we had. I think I mentioned this in A First Year in Canterbury Settlement, but I’m so ashamed of that book that I don’t want to check. I don’t mean to say that the later books are much better; still, they are an improvement.

They show a lot of stones on the Hokitika pass, so Mr. Slade told me, which they call mine and say I intended them in Erewhon [for the statues].  I never saw them and knew nothing about them.

They show a lot of stones on the Hokitika pass, so Mr. Slade told me, which they call mine and say I intended them in Erewhon [for the statues]. I never saw them and knew nothing about them.

Refer to the agony and settled melancholy with which unborn children in the womb regard birth as the extinction of their being, and how some declare that there is a world beyond the womb and others deny this.  “We must all one day be born,” “Birth is certain” and so on, just as we say of death.  Birth involves with it an original sin.  It must be sin, for the wages of sin is death (what else, I should like to know, is the wages of virtue?) and assuredly the wages of birth is death.

Refer to the pain and deep sadness with which unborn children in the womb see birth as the end of their existence, and how some say there’s a world beyond the womb while others disagree. “We all have to be born eventually,” “Birth is inevitable,” and so on, similar to how we talk about death. Birth comes with original sin. It has to be sin because the payoff for sin is death (what else, might I ask, is the payoff for doing good?), and without a doubt, the result of birth is death.

They consider “wilful procreation,” as they call it, much as we do murder and will not allow it to be a moral ailment at all.  Sometimes a jury will recommend to mercy and sometimes they bring in a verdict of “justifiable baby-getting,” but they treat these cases as a rule with great severity.

They see “intentional procreation,” as they call it, much like we see murder and won’t accept it as a moral issue at all. Sometimes a jury will suggest mercy, and sometimes they come back with a verdict of “justifiable baby-making,” but generally, they handle these cases very seriously.

Every baby has a month of heaven and a month of hell before birth, so that it may make its choice with its eyes open.

Every baby has a month of bliss and a month of torment before birth, so it can make its choice with its eyes wide open.

The hour of birth should be prayed for in the litany as well as that of death, and so it would be if we could remember the agony of horror which, no doubt, we felt at birth—surpassing, no doubt, the utmost agony of apprehension that can be felt on death.

The time of birth should be included in prayers just like the time of death, and it probably would be if we could recall the intense horror we likely experienced at birth—greater, without a doubt, than the highest fear we can feel at death.

Let automata increase in variety and ingenuity till at last they present so many of the phenomena of life that the religious world declares they were designed and created by God as an independent species.  The scientific world, on the other hand, denies that there is any design in connection with them, and holds that if any slight variation happened to arise by which a fortuitous combination of atoms occurred which was more suitable for advertising purposes (the automata were chiefly used for advertising) it was seized upon and preserved by natural selection.

Let machines evolve in variety and creativity until they show so many traits of life that the religious community claims they were designed and created by God as a separate species. In contrast, the scientific community argues that there's no design involved and maintains that if any minor changes happen that result in a random combination of atoms better suited for advertising (the machines were mainly used for advertising), it gets picked up and preserved through natural selection.

They have schools where they teach the arts of forgetting and of not seeing.  Young ladies are taught the art of proposing.  Lists of successful matches are advertised with the prospectuses of all the girls’ schools.

They have schools where they teach the skills of forgetting and ignoring. Young women are taught how to make proposals. Lists of successful pairings are advertised along with the brochures of all the girls' schools.

They have professors of all the languages of the principal beasts and birds.  I stayed with the Professor of Feline Languages who had invented a kind of Ollendorffian system for teaching the Art of Polite Conversation among cats.

They have professors for all the languages of the main animals and birds. I spent time with the Professor of Feline Languages, who had created a sort of Ollendorffian system for teaching the art of polite conversation among cats.

They have an art-class in which the first thing insisted on is that the pupils should know the price of all the leading modern pictures that have been sold during the last twenty years at Christie’s, and the fluctuations in their values.  Give an examination paper on this subject.  The artist being a picture-dealer, the first thing he must do is to know how to sell his pictures, and therefore how to adapt them to the market.  What is the use of being able to paint a picture unless one can sell it when one has painted it?

They have an art class where the first priority is for students to know the prices of all the major modern paintings sold at Christie’s over the past twenty years and how those values have changed. They should take a test on this topic. Since the artist is also a picture dealer, the first thing they need to learn is how to sell their artwork and how to tune it to the market. What’s the point of being able to paint a picture if you can’t sell it once it’s done?

Add that the secret of the success of modern French art lies in its recognition of values.

Add that the key to the success of modern French art is its acknowledgment of values.

Let there be monks who have taken vows of modest competency (about £1000 a year, derived from consols), who spurn popularity as medieval monks spurned money—and with about as much sincerity.  Their great object is to try and find out what they like and then get it.  They do not live in one building, and there are no vows of celibacy, but, in practice, when any member marries he drifts away from the society.  They have no profession of faith or articles of association, but, as they who hunted for the Holy Grail, so do these hunt in all things, whether of art or science, for that which commends itself to them as comfortable and worthy to be accepted.  Their liberty of thought and speech and their reasonable enjoyment of the good things of this life are what they alone live for.

Let there be monks who live on a modest income (around £1000 a year from investments) and who reject fame just like medieval monks rejected money—with about as much sincerity. Their main goal is to figure out what they enjoy and then pursue it. They don’t live in a single building and there are no vows of celibacy, but in reality, whenever a member gets married, they tend to drift away from the group. They don’t have a formal statement of beliefs or association, but just like those who searched for the Holy Grail, these individuals seek out what appeals to them in art or science, finding what feels comfortable and worthwhile. Their freedom of thought and speech and their reasonable enjoyment of life’s pleasures are what they truly value.

Let the Erewhonians have Westminster Abbeys of the first, second and third class, and in one of these let them raise monuments to dead theories which were once celebrated.

Let the Erewhonians have Westminster Abbeys of the first, second, and third class, and in one of these, let them build monuments to outdated theories that were once well-known.

Let them study those arts whereby the opinions of a minority may be made to seem those of a majority.

Let them learn those skills that can make the views of a few appear to be the views of many.

Introduce an Erewhonian sermon to the effect that if people are wicked they may perhaps have to go to heaven when they die.

Introduce an Erewhonian sermon suggesting that if people are bad, they might end up going to heaven when they die.

Let them have a Regius Professor of Studied Ambiguity.

Let them have a Regius Professor of Studied Ambiguity.

Let the Professor of Worldly Wisdom pluck a man for want of sufficient vagueness in his saving-clauses paper.

Let the Professor of Worldly Wisdom pick someone for lacking enough ambiguity in their saving-clauses document.

Another poor fellow may be floored for having written an article on a scientific subject without having made free enough use of the words “patiently” and “carefully,” and for having shown too obvious signs of thinking for himself.

Another unfortunate person might get criticized for writing an article on a scientific topic without using the words “patiently” and “carefully” enough, and for showing clear signs of independent thinking.

Let them attach disgrace to any who do not rapidly become obscure after death.

Let them shame anyone who doesn't quickly fade into obscurity after death.

Let them have a Professor of Mischief.  They found that people always did harm when they meant well and that all the professorships founded with an avowedly laudable object failed, so they aim at mischief in the hope that they may miss the mark here as when they aimed at what they thought advantageous.

Let them have a Professor of Mischief. They discovered that people often caused harm even when they had good intentions and that all the teaching positions created with a clear good purpose ended up failing. So, they aim for mischief, hoping they might miss the target this time, just like when they aimed for what they believed was beneficial.

The Professor of Worldly Wisdom plucked a man for buying an egg that had a date stamped upon it.  And another for being too often and too seriously in the right.  And another for telling people what they did not want to know.  He plucked several for insufficient mistrust in printed matter.  It appeared that the Professor had written an article teeming with plausible blunders, and had had it inserted in a leading weekly.  He then set his paper so that the men were sure to tumble into these blunders themselves; then he plucked them.  This occasioned a good deal of comment at the time.

The Professor of Worldly Wisdom called out a guy for buying an egg that had a date stamped on it. And another for being right too often and too seriously. And another for telling people things they didn't want to hear. He called out several for not being skeptical enough about printed materials. It turned out that the Professor had written an article filled with believable mistakes, and had it published in a popular weekly. He then arranged his paper so that the men were bound to fall into these mistakes themselves; then he called them out. This sparked quite a bit of discussion at the time.

One man who entered for the Chancellor’s medal declined to answer any of the questions set.  He said he saw they were intended more to show off the ingenuity of the examiner than either to assist or test the judgment of the examined.  He observed, moreover, that the view taken of his answers would in great measure depend upon what the examiner had had for dinner and, since it was not in his power to control this, he was not going to waste time where the result was, at best, so much a matter of chance.  Briefly, his view of life was that the longer you lived and the less you thought or talked about it the better.  He should go pretty straight in the main himself because it saved trouble on the whole, and he should be guided mainly by a sense of humour in deciding when to deviate from the path of technical honesty, and he would take care that his errors, if any, should be rather on the side of excess than of asceticism

One guy who entered for the Chancellor’s medal chose not to answer any of the questions given. He said he noticed they were more about showing off the examiner’s cleverness than really helping or testing the candidate's judgment. He also noted that how his answers were viewed would largely depend on what the examiner had for dinner, and since he couldn't control that, he wasn't going to waste time where the outcome was, at best, a gamble. In short, his philosophy on life was that the longer you live and the less you dwell on it or talk about it, the better. He figured he’d mostly stick to the straight and narrow since it generally avoided hassle, and he’d mostly be guided by a sense of humor when deciding when to stray from strict honesty. He would ensure that any mistakes he made leaned more towards excess than to strictness.

This man won the Chancellor’s medal.

This guy won the Chancellor’s medal.

They have a review class in which the pupils are taught not to mind what is written in newspapers.  As a natural result they grow up more keenly sensitive than ever.

They have a review class where the students are taught not to pay attention to what's written in newspapers. As a natural result, they become more sensitive than ever.

Round the margin of the newspapers sentences are printed cautioning the readers against believing the criticisms they see, inasmuch as personal motives will underlie the greater number.

Round the margins of the newspapers, sentences are printed, warning readers not to believe the criticisms they see, since personal motives will often lie behind most of them.

They defend the universities and academic bodies on the ground that, but for them, good work would be so universal that the world would become clogged with masterpieces to an extent that would reduce it to an absurdity.  Good sense would rule over all, and merely smart or clever people would be unable to earn a living.

They defend universities and academic institutions by arguing that without them, great work would be so widespread that the world would be overwhelmed with masterpieces to the point of absurdity. Common sense would prevail, and just smart or clever people would struggle to make a living.

They assume that truth is best got at by the falling out of thieves.  “Well then, there must be thieves, or how can they fall out?  Our business is to produce the raw material from which truth may be elicited.”

They believe that the best way to get to the truth is through the conflicts of thieves. “So, there have to be thieves; otherwise, how could they argue? Our job is to provide the raw material from which the truth can be drawn.”

“And you succeed, sir,” I replied, “in a way that is beyond all praise, and it seems as though there would be no limit to the supply of truth that ought to be available.  But, considering the number of your thieves, they show less alacrity in flying at each other’s throats than might have been expected.”

“And you succeed, sir,” I replied, “in a way that’s beyond all praise, and it seems like there should be no limit to the amount of truth available. But, considering the number of your thieves, they seem less eager to attack each other than one might expect.”

They live their lives backwards, beginning, as old men and women, with little more knowledge of the past than we have of the future, and foreseeing the future about as clearly as we see the past, winding up by entering into the womb as though being buried.  But delicacy forbids me to pursue this subject further: the upshot is that it comes to much the same thing, provided one is used to it.

They live their lives in reverse, starting out as old men and women, with only a little more understanding of the past than we have of the future, and imagining the future just as vaguely as we view the past, eventually ending up by entering the womb as if being buried. But it's a sensitive topic, so I won't go into it deeper: the bottom line is that it turns out to be pretty much the same thing, as long as you’re accustomed to it.

Paying debts is a luxury which we cannot all of us afford.

Paying off debts is a luxury that not all of us can afford.

“It is not every one, my dear, who can reach such a counsel of perfection as murder.”

“It’s not everyone, my dear, who can achieve such a level of perfection as murder.”

There was no more space for the chronicles and, what was worse, there was no more space in which anything could happen at all, the whole land had become one vast cancerous growth of chronicles, chronicles, chronicles, nothing but chronicles.

There was no more room for the stories, and worse yet, there was no space left for anything to happen at all; the entire land had turned into one massive, toxic buildup of stories—stories, stories, nothing but stories.

The catalogue of the Browne medals alone will in time come to occupy several hundreds of pages in the University Calendar.

The list of the Browne medals alone will eventually fill several hundred pages in the University Calendar.

There was a professor who was looked upon as such a valuable man because he had done more than any other living person to suppress any kind of originality.

There was a professor who was seen as a highly valuable man because he had done more than anyone alive to crush any form of creativity.

“It is not our business,” he used to say, “to help students to think for themselves—surely this is the very last thing that one who wishes them well would do by them.  Our business to make them think as we do, or at any rate as we consider expedient to say we do.”

“It’s not our job,” he used to say, “to help students think for themselves—surely that’s the very last thing someone who wants the best for them would do. Our job is to make them think like we do, or at least how we think it’s best to say we do.”

He was President of the Society for the Suppression of Useless Knowledge and for the Complete Obliteration of the Past.

He was the President of the Society for the Suppression of Useless Knowledge and for the Total Erasure of the Past.

They have professional mind-dressers, as we have hair-dressers, and before going out to dinner or fashionable At-homes, people go and get themselves primed with smart sayings or moral reflections according to the style which they think will be most becoming to them in the kind of company they expect.

They have professional image consultants, just like we have hair stylists, and before heading out to dinner or trendy social gatherings, people get prepared with clever quotes or thoughtful insights that they believe will make the best impression in the type of company they're expecting.

They deify as God something which I can only translate by a word as underivable as God—I mean Gumption.  But it is part of their religion that there should be no temple to Gumption, nor are there priests or professors of Gumption—Gumption being too ineffable to hit the sense of human definition and analysis.

They elevate something I can only describe with a word as fundamental as God—I mean Gumption. But part of their belief system is that there shouldn't be a temple for Gumption, nor are there priests or scholars of Gumption—Gumption being too profound to be captured by human definition and analysis.

They hold that the function of universities is to make learning repellent and thus to prevent its becoming dangerously common.  And they discharge this beneficent function all the more efficiently because they do it unconsciously and automatically.  The professors think they are advancing healthy intellectual assimilation and digestion when they are in reality little better than cancer on the stomach.

They believe that the role of universities is to make learning unpleasant, thereby stopping it from becoming too widespread. They carry out this helpful role even more effectively because they do it without realizing it. The professors think they are promoting healthy intellectual engagement and understanding when, in fact, they are really just harmful like cancer in the stomach.

Let them be afflicted by an epidemic of the fear-of-giving-themselves-away disease.  Enumerate its symptoms.  There is a new discovery whereby the invisible rays that emanate from the soul can be caught and all the details of a man’s spiritual nature, his character, disposition, principles, &c. be photographed on a plate as easily as his face or the bones of his hands, but no cure for the f. o. g. th. a. disease has yet been discovered.

Let them suffer from an epidemic of the fear-of-giving-themselves-away disease. List its symptoms. There's a new finding that the invisible rays coming from the soul can be captured, and all the details of a person's spiritual nature, character, attitude, principles, etc., can be photographed on a plate just as easily as their face or the bones in their hands, but no cure for the fear-of-giving-themselves-away disease has been discovered yet.

They have a company for ameliorating the condition of those who are in a future state, and for improving the future state itself.

They have a company aimed at improving the situation of those in the afterlife and enhancing the afterlife itself.

People are buried alive for a week before they are married so that their offspring may know something about the grave, of which, otherwise, heredity could teach it nothing.

People are buried alive for a week before they get married so that their children can understand something about the grave, which, otherwise, they could learn nothing about from heredity.

It has long been held that those constitutions are best which promote most effectually the greatest happiness of the greatest number.  Now the greatest number are none too wise and none too honest, and to arrange our systems with a view to the greater happiness of sensible straightforward people—indeed to give these people a chance at all if it can be avoided—is to interfere with the greatest happiness of the greatest number.  Dull, slovenly and arrogant people do not like those who are quick, painstaking and unassuming; how can we then consistently with the first principles of either morality or political economy encourage such people when we can bring sincerity and modesty fairly home to them?

It has long been believed that the best constitutions are those that effectively promote the greatest happiness for the largest number of people. However, the majority aren't particularly wise or honest, and to design our systems aimed at maximizing the happiness of sensible, straightforward individuals—essentially giving them a fair chance, if possible—would actually interfere with the happiness of the majority. Dull, careless, and arrogant individuals tend to resent those who are quick, diligent, and humble; how can we then align with the fundamental principles of either morality or economics by supporting such individuals when we can easily bring sincerity and modesty to their attention?

Much we have to tolerate, partly because we cannot always discover in time who are really insincere and who are only masking sincerity under a garb of flippancy, and partly also because we wish to err on the side of letting the guilty escape rather than of punishing the innocent.  Thus many people who are perfectly well known to belong to the straightforward class are allowed to remain at large and may even be seen hobnobbing and on the best of possible terms with the guardians of public immorality.  We all feel, as indeed has been said in other nations, that the poor abuses of the time want countenance, and this moreover in the interests of the uses themselves, for the presence of a small modicum of sincerity acts as a wholesome stimulant and irritant to the prevailing spirit of academicism; moreover, we hold it useful to have a certain number of melancholy examples whose notorious failure shall serve as a warning to those who do not cultivate a power of immoral self-control which shall prevent them from saying, or indeed even thinking, anything that shall not be to their immediate and palpable advantage with the greatest number.

We have to put up with a lot, partly because we can't always tell in time who is genuinely insincere and who is just pretending to be sincere behind a facade of light-heartedness, and partly because we prefer to let the guilty go free rather than punish the innocent. Because of this, many people who are honestly known to be straightforward are allowed to be around and can often be seen mingling and being friendly with those who promote public immorality. We all feel, as has been expressed in other countries, that the minor issues of the time need support, and this is also important for the very practices themselves, since the presence of even a small amount of sincerity acts as a healthy stimulus and provocateur to the dominant culture of academicism; additionally, we find it beneficial to have a few unfortunate examples whose well-known failures will serve as warnings to those who do not develop a strong sense of immoral self-control that keeps them from saying, or even thinking, anything that doesn’t directly and clearly benefit them in a way that most people can see.

It is a point of good breeding with the Erewhonians to keep their opinions as far as possible in the background in all cases where controversy is even remotely possible, that is to say whenever conversation gets beyond the discussion of the weather.  It is found necessary, however, to recognise some means of ventilating points on which differences of opinion may exist, and the convention adopted is that whenever a man finds occasion to speak strongly he should express himself by dwelling as forcibly as he can on the views most opposed to his own; even this, however, is tolerated rather than approved, for it is counted the perfection of scholarship and good breeding not to express, and much more not even to have a definite opinion upon any subject whatsoever.

It's considered good manners among the Erewhonians to keep their opinions mostly to themselves in situations where there might be a debate, which means anytime the conversation goes beyond discussing the weather. However, it’s necessary to find a way to address topics where people might disagree. The practice they have is that when someone feels strongly about something, they should express it by emphasizing the views that are most opposite to their own. Even this is more tolerated than truly accepted, as it's believed that true scholarship and good manners involve not stating, and even better, not having a clear opinion on any subject at all.

Thus their “yea” is “nay” and their “nay,” “yea,” but it comes to the same thing in the end, for it does not matter whether “yea” is called “yea” or “nay” so long as it is understood as “yea.”  They go a long way round only to find themselves at the point from which they started, but there is no accounting for tastes.  With us such tactics are inconceivable, but so far do the Erewhonians carry them that it is common for them to write whole reviews and articles between the lines of which a practised reader will detect a sense exactly contrary to that ostensibly put forward; nor is a man held to be more than a tyro in the arts of polite society unless he instinctively suspects a hidden sense in every proposition that meets him.  I was more than once misled by these plover-like tactics, and on one occasion was near getting into a serious scrape.  It happened thus:—

Thus their “yes” is “no” and their “no” is “yes,” but it amounts to the same thing in the end, for it doesn’t matter whether “yes” is called “yes” or “no” as long as it’s understood as “yes.” They go a long way around only to end up back where they started, but tastes are subjective. For us, such tactics are unimaginable, but the Erewhonians take it so far that it’s common for them to write entire reviews and articles in which a skilled reader will find a meaning that is completely opposite to what is apparently being said; nor is a person considered anything more than a beginner in the social arts unless he instinctively suspects a hidden meaning in every statement he encounters. I was misled more than once by these deceptive tactics, and on one occasion, I nearly ended up in a serious predicament. It happened like this:—

A man of venerable aspect was maintaining that pain was a sad thing and should not be permitted under any circumstances.  People ought not even to be allowed to suffer for the consequences of their own folly, and should be punished for it severely if they did.  If they could only be kept from making fools of themselves by the loss of freedom or, if necessary, by some polite and painless method of extinction—which meant hanging—then they ought to be extinguished.  If permanent improvement can only be won through ages of mistake and suffering, which must be all begun de novo for every fresh improvement, let us be content to forego improvement, and let those who suffer their lawless thoughts to stray in this direction be improved from off the face of the earth as fast as possible.  No remedy can be too drastic for such a disease as the pain felt by another person.  We find we can generally bear the pain ourselves when we have to do so, but it is intolerable that we should know it is being borne by any one else.  The mere sight of pain unfits people for ordinary life, the wear and tear of which would be very much reduced if we would be at any trouble to restrain the present almost unbounded licence in the matter of suffering—a licence that people take advantage of to make themselves as miserable as they please, without so much as a thought for the feelings of others.  Hence, he maintained, the practice of putting dupes in the same category as the physically diseased or the unlucky was founded on the eternal and inherent nature of things, and could no more be interfered with than the revolution of the earth on its axis.

A man with an impressive presence was arguing that pain is a terrible thing and should never be allowed. People shouldn’t even have to suffer the consequences of their own mistakes, and if they do, they should be punished severely. If we could prevent them from making fools of themselves by taking away their freedom or, if necessary, through some kind and painless method of execution—which he meant as hanging—then they should be eliminated. If lasting improvement can only come after long periods of mistakes and suffering, which must start anew for every improvement, then let’s be okay with forgoing improvement. Let those who let their reckless thoughts lead them in that direction be removed from the earth as quickly as possible. No solution can be too extreme for a problem like the pain experienced by others. We generally find we can tolerate pain ourselves when necessary, but it's unbearable to know someone else is enduring it. Just seeing pain makes people unfit for regular life, which would be much easier if we made an effort to control the current nearly limitless freedom regarding suffering—freedom that people exploit to make themselves as miserable as they want, without a thought for how it affects others. Thus, he argued, treating naive individuals the same way as those who are physically sick or unfortunate is based on the fundamental and unchangeable nature of things, and it can’t be interfered with any more than the Earth's rotation on its axis.

He said a good deal more to the same effect, and I was beginning to wonder how much longer he would think it necessary to insist on what was so obvious, when his hearers began to differ from him.  One dilated on the correlation between pain and pleasure which ensured that neither could be extinguished without the extinguishing along with it of the other.  Another said that throughout the animal and vegetable worlds there was found what might be counted as a system of rewards and punishments; this, he contended, must cease to exist (and hence virtue must cease) if the pain attaching to misconduct were less notoriously advertised.  Another maintained that the horror so freely expressed by many at the sight of pain was as much selfish as not—and so on.

He said a lot more along the same lines, and I started to wonder how much longer he thought he needed to emphasize what was so clear, when his listeners started to disagree with him. One person elaborated on the connection between pain and pleasure, saying that neither could be removed without also getting rid of the other. Another mentioned that throughout the animal and plant kingdoms, there seemed to be a system of rewards and punishments; he argued that this must disappear (and therefore virtue must disappear) if the pain associated with wrongdoing were less publicly acknowledged. Another person argued that the disgust expressed by many at the sight of pain was partly selfish— and so on.

Let Erewhon be revisited by the son of the original writer—let him hint that his father used to write the advertisements for Mother Seigel’s Syrup.  He gradually worked his way up to this from being a mere writer of penny tracts.  [Dec. 1896.]

Let Erewhon be revisited by the son of the original writer—let him mention that his father used to write the ads for Mother Seigel’s Syrup. He gradually climbed the ranks from being just a writer of penny pamphlets. [Dec. 1896.]

On reaching the country he finds that divine honours are being paid him, churches erected to him, and a copious mythology daily swelling, with accounts of the miracles he had worked and all his sayings and doings.  If any child got hurt he used to kiss the place and it would get well at once.

On arriving in the country, he discovers that people are honoring him like a deity, churches have been built in his name, and a growing mythology is emerging daily, filled with stories of the miracles he performed and all his words and actions. If a child got injured, he would kiss the spot, and it would heal immediately.

Everything has been turned topsy-turvy in consequence of his flight in the balloon being ascribed to miraculous agency.

Everything has been turned upside down because people are attributing his flight in the balloon to some sort of miracle.

Among other things, he had maintained that sermons should be always preached by two people, one taking one side and another the opposite, while a third summed up and the congregation decided by a show of hands.

Among other things, he argued that sermons should always be delivered by two people, one presenting one side and the other representing the opposite, while a third person summarized and the congregation decided by a show of hands.

This system had been adopted and he goes to hear a sermon On the Growing Habit of Careful Patient Investigation as Encouraging Casuistry.  [October 1897.]

This system was adopted, and he goes to hear a sermon on the increasing practice of careful, patient investigation as a way to support casuistry. [October 1897.]

p. 297XIX
Truth and Convenience

Opposites

You may have all growth or nothing growth, just as you may have all mechanism or nothing mechanism, all chance or nothing chance, but you must not mix them.  Having settled this, you must proceed at once to mix them.

You can either have total growth or no growth at all, just like you can have complete mechanism or no mechanism, complete chance or no chance, but you must not mix them. Having established this, you need to immediately start mixing them.

Two Points of View

Everything must be studied from the point of view of itself, as near as we can get to this, and from the point of view of its relations, as near as we can get to them.  If we try to see it absolutely in itself, unalloyed with relations, we shall find, by and by, that we have, as it were, whittled it away.  If we try to see it in its relations to the bitter end, we shall find that there is no corner of the universe into which it does not enter.  Either way the thing eludes us if we try to grasp it with the horny hands of language and conscious thought.  Either way we can think it perfectly well—so long as we don’t think about thinking about it.  The pale cast of thought sicklies over everything.

Everything needs to be studied from its own perspective, as closely as we can manage, and from the perspective of its relationships, as closely as we can understand them. If we attempt to see it solely in itself, without any connections, we’ll eventually realize that we have, in a sense, chipped away at it. If we try to view it solely through its relationships, we’ll discover that there’s no part of the universe where it doesn’t fit in. In either case, the thing slips away from us if we try to grasp it with the rigid tools of language and conscious thought. We can think about it perfectly well—so long as we don’t overthink the act of thinking about it. The dull hue of thought casts a shadow over everything.

Practically everything should be seen as itself pure and simple, so far as we can comfortably see it, and at the same time as not itself, so far as we can comfortably see it, and then the two views should be combined, so far as we can comfortably combine them.  If we cannot comfortably combine them, we should think of something else.

Practically everything should be viewed as it is, straightforward and uncomplicated, as much as we can easily perceive it, while also seeing it as something else, as much as we can easily perceive it. Then, we should try to merge these two perspectives as much as we can comfortably do so. If we can't comfortably merge them, we should consider something different.

Truth

i

We can neither define what we mean by truth nor be in doubt as to our meaning.  And this I suppose must be due to the antiquity of the instinct that, on the whole, directs us towards truth.  We cannot self-vivisect ourselves in respect of such a vital function, though we can discharge it normally and easily enough so long as we do not think about it.

We can't really define what we mean by truth, nor can we question our understanding of it. I guess this must be because of the ancient instinct that generally guides us toward truth. We can't introspect deeply about such an essential function, although we can do it instinctively and without effort as long as we don't overthink it.

ii

The pursuit of truth is chimerical.  That is why it is so hard to say what truth is.  There is no permanent absolute unchangeable truth; what we should pursue is the most convenient arrangement of our ideas.

The quest for truth is illusory. That's why it's so difficult to define what truth really is. There’s no fixed, unchanging absolute truth; what we should aim for is the most practical organization of our ideas.

iii

There is no such source of error as the pursuit of absolute truth.

There’s no greater source of error than the quest for absolute truth.

iv

A. B. was so impressed with the greatness and certain ultimate victory of truth that he considered it unnecessary to encourage her or do anything to defend her.

A. B. was so impressed with the power and inevitable triumph of truth that he felt it was unnecessary to support her or take any action to defend her.

v

He who can best read men best knows all truth that need concern him; for it is not what the thing is, apart from man’s thoughts in respect of it, but how to reach the fairest compromise between men’s past and future opinions that is the fittest object of consideration; and this we get by reading men and women.

He who can read people the best understands all the truths that matter to him. It’s not just about what something is, separate from people's thoughts on it, but figuring out the best way to balance people's past and future opinions that really matters. We achieve this by understanding men and women.

vi

Truth should not be absolutely lost sight of, but it should not be talked about.

Truth should not be completely forgotten, but it shouldn't be discussed.

vii

Some men love truth so much that they seem to be in continual fear lest she should catch cold on over-exposure.

Some men love truth so much that they constantly worry she might get cold from being overexposed.

viii

The firmest line that can be drawn upon the smoothest paper has still jagged edges if seen through a microscope.  This does not matter until important deductions are made on the supposition that there are no jagged edges.

The straightest line that you can draw on the smoothest paper still has rough edges when viewed through a microscope. This doesn’t really matter until significant conclusions are drawn based on the assumption that there are no rough edges.

ix

Truth should never be allowed to become extreme; otherwise it will be apt to meet and to run into the extreme of falsehood.  It should be played pretty low down—to the pit and gallery rather than the stalls.  Pit-truth is more true to the stalls than stall-truth to the pit.

Truth should never be taken to extremes; otherwise, it risks slipping into the realm of falsehood. It should be expressed in a more subtle way—accessible to the general audience rather than just the elite. The truth that's relatable to the broader crowd is often more genuine than the truth that's confined to a select few.

x

An absolute lie may live—for it is a true lie, and is saved by being flecked with a grain of its opposite.  Not so absolute truth.

An absolute lie can survive—for it’s a genuine lie and is preserved by having a hint of its opposite. Not so with absolute truth.

xi

Whenever we push truth hard she runs to earth in contradiction in terms, that is to say, in falsehood.  An essential contradiction in terms meets us at the end of every enquiry.

Whenever we press truth too hard, it slips away into contradictions, meaning it often leads to falsehood. We encounter a fundamental contradiction at the end of every inquiry.

xii

In Alps and Sanctuaries (Chapter V) I implied that I was lying when I told the novice that Handel was a Catholic.  But I was not lying; Handel was a Catholic, and so am I, and so is every well-disposed person.  It shows how careful we ought to be when we lie—we can never be sure but what we may be speaking the truth.

In Alps and Sanctuaries (Chapter V), I suggested that I was lying when I told the novice that Handel was a Catholic. But I wasn’t lying; Handel was a Catholic, and so am I, and so is every good-hearted person. It demonstrates how cautious we need to be when we lie—we can never be certain that we’re not actually telling the truth.

xiii

Perhaps a little bit of absolute truth on any one question might prove a general solvent, and dissipate the universe.

Perhaps a bit of absolute truth about any one question could serve as a universal solution and break down the entire universe.

xiv

Truth generally is kindness, but where the two diverge or collide, kindness should override truth.

Truth is usually about being kind, but when the two clash, kindness should take priority over truth.

Falsehood

i

Truth consists not in never lying but in knowing when to lie and when not to do so.  De minimis non curat veritas.

Truth isn't about never lying; it's about knowing when to lie and when to tell the truth. De minimis non curat veritas.

Yes, but what is a minimum?  Sometimes a maximum is a minimum and sometimes it is the other way.

Yes, but what is a minimum? Sometimes a maximum is a minimum and sometimes it's the other way around.

ii

Lying is like borrowing or appropriating in music.  It is only a good, sound, truthful person who can lie to any good purpose; if a man is not habitually truthful his very lies will be false to him and betray him.  The converse also is true; if a man is not a good, sound, honest, capable liar there is no truth in him.

Lying is similar to borrowing or taking inspiration in music. Only a genuinely good, honest person can lie for a good reason; if someone isn't usually truthful, their lies will be insincere and will backfire on them. The opposite is also true; if someone isn't a good, honest, skilled liar, then there's no truth in them.

iii

Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.

Any idiot can tell the truth, but it takes a person with some smarts to know how to lie effectively.

iv

I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.

I don't mind lying, but I can't stand being inaccurate.

v

A friend who cannot at a pinch remember a thing or two that never happened is as bad as one who does not know how to forget.

A friend who can't recall a thing or two that never happened is just as bad as one who doesn't know how to let go.

vi

Cursed is he that does not know when to shut his mind.  An open mind is all very well in its way, but it ought not to be so open that there is no keeping anything in or out of it.  It should be capable of shutting its doors sometimes, or it may be found a little draughty.

Cursed is he who doesn't know when to close his mind. An open mind is great in theory, but it shouldn't be so open that nothing can be kept in or out. It should be able to shut its doors sometimes, or it might end up feeling a bit drafty.

vii

He who knows not how to wink knows not how to see; and he who knows not how to lie knows not how to speak the truth.  So he who cannot suppress his opinions cannot express them.

He who doesn't know how to wink doesn't know how to see; and he who doesn't know how to lie doesn't know how to tell the truth. So, he who can't hold back his opinions can't really express them.

viii

There can no more be a true statement without falsehood distributed through it, than a note on a well-tuned piano that is not intentionally and deliberately put out of tune to some extent in order to have the piano in the most perfect possible tune.  Any perfection of tune as regards one key can only be got at the expense of all the rest.

There can't be a true statement without some falsehood mixed in, just like a note on a well-tuned piano that's not intentionally and deliberately slightly out of tune to achieve the best overall sound. Any perfection in one key can only be reached by compromising on all the others.

ix

Lying has a kind of respect and reverence with it.  We pay a person the compliment of acknowledging his superiority whenever we lie to him.

Lying has a certain respect and reverence to it. We give someone the acknowledgment of their superiority whenever we lie to them.

x

I seem to see lies crowding and crushing at a narrow gate and working their way in along with truths into the domain of history.

I feel like I see lies pushing and shoving at a narrow gate, forcing their way in along with truths into the realm of history.

Nature’s Double Falsehood

That one great lie she told about the earth being flat when she knew it was round all the time!  And again how she stuck to it that the sun went round us when it was we who were going round the sun!  This double falsehood has irretrievably ruined my confidence in her.  There is no lie which she will not tell and stick to like a Gladstonian.  How plausibly she told her tale, and how many ages was it before she was so much as suspected!  And then when things did begin to look bad for her, how she brazened it out, and what a desperate business it was to bring her shifts and prevarications to book!

That one huge lie she told about the earth being flat when she knew it was round all along! And again how she insisted that the sun revolved around us when it was actually us going around the sun! This double deception has completely shattered my trust in her. There's no lie she won't tell and stick to like a pro. How convincingly she shared her story, and how many years went by before anyone even suspected her! And then when things started to look bad for her, how boldly she faced it, and how difficult it was to hold her accountable for her tricks and excuses!

Convenience

i

We wonder at its being as hard often to discover convenience as it is to discover truth.  But surely convenience is truth.

We often find it just as difficult to find convenience as it is to find truth. But really, convenience is truth.

ii

The use of truth is like the use of words; both truth and words depend greatly upon custom.

The use of truth is like the use of words; both truth and words rely heavily on social norms.

iii

We do with truth much as we do with God.  We create it according to our own requirements and then say that it has created us, or requires that we shall do or think so and so—whatever we find convenient.

We handle truth the same way we handle God. We shape it to fit our needs and then claim that it shaped us or demands that we act or think a certain way—whatever works for us.

iv

“What is Truth?” is often asked, as though it were harder to say what truth is than what anything else is.  But what is Justice?  What is anything?  An eternal contradiction in terms meets us at the end of every enquiry.  We are not required to know what truth is, but to speak the truth, and so with justice.

“What is Truth?” is often asked, as if it’s harder to define truth than anything else. But what is Justice? What is anything? An eternal contradiction in terms confronts us at the end of every inquiry. We don’t need to know what truth is, but to speak the truth, and the same goes for justice.

v

The search after truth is like the search after perpetual motion or the attempt to square the circle.  All we should aim at is the most convenient way of looking at a thing—the way that most sensible people are likely to find give them least trouble for some time to come.  It is not true that the sun used to go round the earth until Copernicus’s time, but it is true that until Copernicus’s time it was most convenient to us to hold this.  Still, we had certain ideas which could only fit in comfortably with our other ideas when we came to consider the sun as the centre of the planetary system.

The pursuit of truth is like chasing after perpetual motion or trying to square the circle. What we should focus on is the easiest way to view things—the perspective that makes the most sense to most people and causes them the least hassle for a while. It’s not accurate to say that the sun revolved around the earth until Copernicus, but it is true that it was more convenient for us to believe that back then. However, we had some concepts that only fit well with our other ideas when we started to see the sun as the center of the solar system.

Obvious convenience often takes a long time before it is fully recognised and acted upon, but there will be a nisus towards it as long and as widely spread as the desire of men to be saved trouble.  If truth is not trouble-saving in the long run it is not truth: truth is only that which is most largely and permanently trouble-saving.  The ultimate triumph, therefore, of truth rests on a very tangible basis—much more so than when it is made to depend upon the will of an unseen and unknowable agency.  If my views about the Odyssey, for example, will, in the long run, save students from perplexity, the students will be sure to adopt them, and I have no wish that they should adopt them otherwise.

Obvious convenience often takes a long time to be fully recognized and acted upon, but there will be a nisus towards it as long and as widespread as people's desire to avoid trouble. If truth isn't trouble-saving in the long run, it's not really truth; truth is only what is most broadly and permanently trouble-saving. Therefore, the ultimate success of truth is based on something very tangible—much more so than when it's made to rely on the will of an unseen and unknowable force. If my views about the Odyssey, for example, will ultimately save students from confusion, they will surely adopt them, and I have no desire for them to accept them any other way.

It does not matter much what the truth is, but our knowing the truth—that is to say our hitting on the most permanently convenient arrangement of our ideas upon a subject whatever it may be—matters very much; at least it matters, or may matter, very much in some relations.  And however little it matters, yet it matters, and however much it matters yet it does not matter.  In the utmost importance there is unimportance, and in the utmost unimportance there is importance.  So also it is with certainty, life, matter, necessity, consciousness and, indeed, with everything which can form an object of human sensation at all, or of those after-reasonings which spring ultimately from sensations.  This is a round-about way of saying that every question has two sides.

It doesn't really matter what the truth is, but knowing the truth—meaning finding the most useful way to organize our thoughts on any given topic—does matter a lot; at least it matters, or could matter, a lot in some situations. And no matter how little it matters, it still matters, and no matter how much it matters, it still doesn't matter. In the most important things, there's unimportance, and in the most unimportant things, there's importance. The same goes for certainty, life, matter, necessity, consciousness, and everything else that can be perceived by humans or lead to those deeper thoughts that ultimately come from our perceptions. This is just a roundabout way of saying that every question has two sides.

vi

Our concern is with the views we shall choose to take and to let other people take concerning things, and as to the way of expressing those views which shall give least trouble.  If we express ourselves in one way we find our ideas in confusion and our action impotent: if in another our ideas cohere harmoniously, and our action is edifying.  The convenience of least disturbing vested ideas, and at the same time rearranging our views in accordance with new facts that come to our knowledge, this is our proper care.  But it is idle to say we do not know anything about things—perhaps we do, perhaps we don’t—but we at any rate know what sane people think and are likely to think about things, and this to all intents and purposes is knowing the things themselves.  For the things only are what sensible people agree to say and think they are.

Our focus is on the perspectives we choose to adopt and allow others to adopt regarding various matters, as well as how we express those perspectives in a way that causes the least disruption. If we communicate in one way, our thoughts become tangled and our actions ineffective; if we communicate in another way, our thoughts align smoothly, and our actions are constructive. It’s important to balance respecting established beliefs while also updating our views based on new information we gain. However, it’s pointless to claim we know nothing about these matters—perhaps we do, perhaps we don’t—but we at least understand what rational people think and are likely to think about these issues, and that is essentially knowing the matters themselves. After all, things are defined by what sensible people agree they are.

vii

The arrangement of our ideas is as much a matter of convenience as the packing of goods in a druggist’s or draper’s store and leads to exactly the same kind of difficulties in the matter of classifying them.  We all admit the arbitrariness of classifications in a languid way, but we do not think of it more than we can help—I suppose because it is so inconvenient to do so.  The great advantage of classification is to conceal the fact that subdivisions are as arbitrary as they are.

The way we organize our ideas is just as much about convenience as how we pack items in a pharmacy or clothing store, and it creates the same kinds of challenges when it comes to categorizing them. We all recognize that classifications are somewhat arbitrary, but we try not to think about it too much—probably because it’s too much of a hassle. The main benefit of classification is that it hides the truth that these categories are just as arbitrary as they actually are.

Classification

There can be no perfect way, for classification presupposes that a thing has absolute limits whereas there is nothing that does not partake of the universal infinity—nothing whose boundaries do not vary.  Everything is one thing at one time and in some respects, and another at other times and in other respects.  We want a new mode of measurement altogether; at present we take what gaps we can find, set up milestones, and declare them irremovable.  We want a measure which shall express, or at any rate recognise, the harmonics of resemblance that lurk even in the most absolute differences and vice versa.

There’s no perfect way to classify things because classification assumes that something has clear limits, but nothing exists that doesn't connect to the infinite—nothing that doesn't have shifting boundaries. Everything is one thing at one time and in certain ways, and something else at other times and in different ways. We need an entirely new way to measure. Right now, we look for any gaps we can find, establish markers, and claim they're unchangeable. We need a measure that can show, or at least acknowledge, the similarities that exist even among the most absolute differences, and the other way around.

Attempts at Classification

are like nailing battens of our own flesh and blood upon ourselves as an inclined plane that we may walk up ourselves more easily; and yet it answers very sufficiently.

are like nailing strips of our own flesh and blood onto ourselves as a ramp that we can walk up more easily; and yet it works quite well.

A Clergyman’s Doubts

Under this heading a correspondence appeared in the Examiner, 15th February to 14th June, 1879.  Butler wrote all the letters under various signatures except one or perhaps twoHis first letter purported to come fromAn Earnest Clergymanaged forty-five, with a wife, five children, a country living worth £400 a year, and a house, but no private meansHe had ceased to believe in the doctrines he was called upon to teachOught he to continue to lead a life that was a lie or ought he to throw up his orders and plunge himself, his wife and children into povertyThe dilemma interested Butler deeply: he might so easily have found himself in it if he had not begun to doubt the efficacy of infant baptism when he didFifteen letters followed, signedCantab,” “Oxoniensis,” and so forth, some recommending one course, some anotherOne, signedX.Y.Z.,” includedThe Righteous Manwhich will be found in the last group of this volume, headedPoems.”  From the following letter signedEthicsButler afterwards took two passages (which I have enclosed, one between single asterisks the other between double asterisks), and used them for theDissertation on Lyingwhich is in Chapter V of Alps and Sanctuaries.

Under this heading, a correspondence appeared in the Examiner, 15th February to 14th June, 1879. Butler wrote all the letters under various signatures except for one or maybe two. His first letter claimed to be fromAn Earnest Clergymanaged forty-five, with a wife, five kids, a country position worth £400 a year, and a house, but no private income. He had stopped believing in the doctrines he was expected to teach. Should he continue living a lie, or should he quit his position and risk, his wife and kids ending up in poverty? The dilemma really affected Butler: he could have easily found himself in it if he hadn't started doubting the effectiveness of infant baptism when he did. Fifteen letters followed, signedCantab,” “Oxoniensis,” and others, some suggesting one approach, some another. One, signedX.Y.Z.,” includedThe Righteous Manwhich will be found in the last group of this volume, titledPoems.” From the next letter signedEthics,” Butler later took two passages (which I have marked, one with single asterisks and the other with double asterisks), and used them for theDissertation on Lyingwhich is in Chapter V of Alps and Sanctuaries.

To the Editor of the Examiner.

To the Editor of the Examiner.

Sir: I am sorry for your correspondent “An Earnest Clergyman” for, though he may say he has “come to smile at his troubles,” his smile seems to be a grim one.  We must all of us eat a peck of moral dirt before we die, but some must know more precisely than others when they are eating it; some, again, can bolt it without wry faces in one shape, while they cannot endure even the smell of it in another.  “An Earnest Clergyman” admits that he is in the habit of telling people certain things which he does not believe, but says he has no great fancy for deceiving himself.  “Cantab” must, I fear, deceive himself before he can tolerate the notion of deceiving other people.  For my own part I prefer to be deceived by one who does not deceive himself rather than by one who does, for the first will know better when to stop, and will not commonly deceive me more than he can help.  As for the other—if he does not know how to invest his own thoughts safely he will invest mine still worse; he will hold God’s most precious gift of falsehood too cheap; he has come by it too easily; cheaply come, cheaply go will be his maxim.  The good liar should be the converse of the poet; he should be made, not born.

Sir: I'm sorry for your correspondent “An Earnest Clergyman” because, even though he claims to have “come to smile at his troubles,” his smile seems pretty forced. We all have to deal with some moral grime before we die, but some know better than others when they're dealing with it; some can swallow it without grimacing in one form, while they can't stand even the thought of it in another. “An Earnest Clergyman” admits that he often tells people things he doesn’t believe, but he says he doesn’t really like deceiving himself. “Cantab” must, I’m afraid, fool himself before he can accept the idea of deceiving others. Personally, I’d rather be fooled by someone who doesn’t deceive themselves than by someone who does, because the first will know better when to stop and usually won’t mislead me more than necessary. As for the other—if he can't figure out how to handle his own thoughts responsibly, he'll mess up mine even more; he'll treat God's most precious gift of falsehood too lightly; he got it too easily; his motto will be "cheaply come, cheaply go." A good liar should be the opposite of a poet; they should be made, not born.

It is not loss of confidence in a man’s strict adherence to the letter of truth that shakes my confidence in him.  I know what I do myself and what I must lose all social elasticity if I were not to do.  * Turning for moral guidance to my cousins the lower animals—whose unsophisticated instinct proclaims what God has taught them with a directness we may sometimes study—I find the plover lying when she reads us truly and, knowing that we shall hit her if we think her to be down, lures us from her young ones under the fiction of a broken wing.  Is God angry, think you, with this pretty deviation from the letter of strict accuracy? or was it not He who whispered to her to tell the falsehood, to tell it with a circumstance, without conscientious scruples, and not once only but to make a practice of it, so as to be an habitual liar for at least six weeks in the year?  I imagine so.  When I was young I used to read in good books that it was God who taught the bird to make her nest, and, if so, He probably taught each species the other domestic arrangements which should be best suited to it.  Or did the nest-building information come from God and was there an Evil One among the birds also who taught them to steer clear of pedantry?  Then there is the spider—an ugly creature, but I suppose God likes it—can anything be meaner than that web which naturalists extol as such a marvel of Providential ingenuity?

It’s not my loss of confidence in a man’s strict adherence to the truth that shakes my trust in him. I know what I do myself and how rigid I would become socially if I didn’t. Turning for moral guidance to my cousins, the lower animals—whose straightforward instincts reveal what God has taught them with a clarity we can sometimes learn from—I see the plover lying when she reveals herself truly and, knowing that we’ll hit her if we think she’s down, lures us away from her young ones under the pretense of a broken wing. Do you think God is angry with this charming twist on strict accuracy? Or was it not Him who prompted her to tell that lie, to tell it with flair, without any moral hesitation, and not just once but to make it a habit, becoming a liar for at least six weeks every year? I think so. When I was young, I read in good books that it was God who taught the bird to build her nest, and if that’s true, He probably taught each species the best ways to handle their own domestic needs. Or did the knowledge of nest-building come from God and was there an Evil One among the birds too, who taught them to avoid being overly precise? Then there’s the spider—an ugly creature, but I guess God likes it—can anything be more despicable than that web which naturalists praise as a marvel of divine ingenuity?

Ingenuity!  The word reeks with lying.  Once, on a summer afternoon, in a distant country I met one of those orchids whose main idea consists in the imitation of a fly; this lie they dispose so plausibly upon their petals that other flies who would steal their honey leave them unmolested.  Watching intently and keeping very still, methought I heard this person speaking to the offspring which she felt within her though I saw them not.

Ingenuity! The word feels so deceptive. One summer afternoon, in a faraway country, I came across one of those orchids that mimic a fly; this trick is so convincing on their petals that other flies looking to steal their nectar leave them alone. Watching closely and staying very still, I thought I heard this flower communicating with the young it sensed inside her, even though I couldn’t see them.

“My children,” she exclaimed, “I must soon leave you; think upon the fly, my loved ones; make it look as terrible as possible; cling to this thought in your passage through life, for it is the one thing needful; once lose sight of it and you are lost.”

“My children,” she said, “I have to leave you soon; remember the fly, my dear ones; make it seem as awful as you can; hold onto this idea as you go through life, because it's the one thing you really need; if you lose sight of it, you’re lost.”

Over and over again she sang this burden in a small, still voice, and so I left her.  Then straightway I came upon some butterflies whose profession it was to pretend to believe in all manner of vital truths which in their inner practice they rejected; thus, pretending to be certain other and hateful butterflies which no bird will eat by reason of their abominable smell, these cunning ones conceal their own sweetness, live long in the land and see good days.  Think of that, O Earnest Clergyman, my friend!  No.  Lying is like Nature, you may expel her with a fork, but she will always come back again.  Lying is like the poor, we must have it always with us.  The question is, How much, when, where, to whom and under what circumstances is lying right?  For, once admit that a plover may pretend to have a broken wing and yet be without sin if she have pretended well enough, and the thin edge of the wedge has been introduced so that there is no more saying that we must never lie. *

Over and over again she sang this song in a soft, quiet voice, and so I left her. Then right away, I came across some butterflies that acted like they believed all sorts of important truths, which deep down, they rejected. These butterflies pretended to be some other, unpleasant butterflies that no bird will eat because of their horrible smell; thus, these clever ones hide their own sweetness, live long in the world, and enjoy good times. Think about that, O Serious Clergyman, my friend! No. Lying is like Nature; you can try to push it away with a fork, but it will always come back. Lying is like the poor; we will always have it with us. The real question is, how much, when, where, to whom, and under what circumstances is lying acceptable? Because once you accept that a plover can feign a broken wing and still be innocent if she does it convincingly enough, then the thin edge of the wedge has been introduced, and we can no longer say we must never lie.

It is not, then, the discovery that a man has the power to lie that shakes my confidence in him; it is loss of confidence in his mendacity that I find it impossible to get over.  I forgive him for telling me lies, but I cannot forgive him for not telling me the same lies, or nearly so, about the same things.  This shows he has a slipshod memory, which is unpardonable, or else that he tells so many lies that he finds it impossible to remember all of them, and this is like having too many of the poor always with us.  The plover and the spider have each of them their stock of half a dozen lies or so which we may expect them to tell when occasion arises; they are plausible and consistent, but we know where to have them; otherwise, if they were liable, like self-deceivers, to spring mines upon us in unexpected places, man would soon make it his business to reform them—not from within, but from without.

It's not the fact that a man has the ability to lie that shakes my trust in him; it's losing trust in his dishonesty that I find impossible to move past. I can forgive him for telling me lies, but I can't forgive him for not telling me the same lies, or close to them, about the same things. This indicates he has a careless memory, which is unforgivable, or that he tells so many lies that he can't possibly remember all of them, which is like having too many of the needy always around us. The plover and the spider each have their set of half a dozen lies or so that we can expect them to tell when the situation calls for it; they're believable and consistent, but we know what to expect from them; otherwise, if they were like self-deceivers, capable of surprising us with unexpected lies, man would quickly make it his mission to correct them—not from the inside, but from the outside.

And now it is time I came to the drift of my letter, which is that if “An Earnest Clergyman” has not cheated himself into thinking he is telling the truth, he will do no great harm by stopping where he is.  Do not let him make too much fuss about trifles.  The solemnity of the truths which he professes to uphold is very doubtful; there is a tacit consent that it exists more on paper than in reality.  If he is a man of any tact, he can say all he is compelled to say and do all the Church requires of him—like a gentleman, with neither undue slovenliness nor undue unction—yet it shall be perfectly plain to all his parishioners who are worth considering that he is acting as a mouthpiece and that his words are spoken dramatically.  As for the unimaginative, they are as children; they cannot and should not be taken into account.  Men must live as they must write or act—for a certain average standard which each must guess at for himself as best he can; those who are above this standard he cannot reach; those, again, who are below it must be so at their own risk.

And now it’s time for me to get to the point of my letter, which is that if “An Earnest Clergyman” hasn’t fooled himself into thinking he’s speaking the truth, he won’t do much harm by just staying where he is. He shouldn’t make too big a deal out of small things. The seriousness of the truths he claims to support is very questionable; there’s an unspoken agreement that it exists more on paper than in real life. If he has any sense, he can say everything he needs to say and do all that the Church expects of him—like a decent person, without being overly sloppy or overly pious—yet it will be clear to all his parishioners who matter that he’s just a spokesperson and that his words are delivered theatrically. As for those who lack imagination, they are like children; they can’t and shouldn’t be taken seriously. People have to live as they write or act—at a certain average standard that everyone has to figure out for themselves as best they can; those who are above this standard he can't reach; and those who are below it must accept the consequences on their own.

Pilate did well when he would not stay for an answer to his question, What is truth? for there is no such thing apart from the sayer and the sayee.  ** There is that irony in nature which brings it to pass that if the sayer be a man with any stuff in him, provided he tells no lies wittingly to himself and is never unkindly, he may lie and lie and lie all the day long, and he will no more be false to any man than the sun will shine by night; his lies will become truths as they pass into the hearer’s soul.  But if a man deceives himself and is unkind, the truth is not in him, it turns to falsehood while yet in his mouth, like the quails in the wilderness of Sinai.  How this is so or why, I know not, but that the Lord hath mercy on whom He will have mercy and whom He willeth He hardeneth, and that the bad man can do no right and the good no wrong. **

Pilate made the right call when he didn’t wait for an answer to his question, What is truth? because there’s no such thing outside of the person speaking and the person listening. ** There’s an irony in nature that means if the speaker is a person of substance, as long as he doesn’t intentionally lie to himself and doesn’t act unkindly, he might tell lies all day long, and he won’t be any less truthful to anyone than the sun shining at night; his lies will become truths as they enter the listener’s mind. But if a person deceives himself and is unkind, the truth isn’t in him; it turns into falsehood even as it’s in his mouth, like the quails in the wilderness of Sinai. How this works or why, I don’t know, but the Lord has mercy on whom He chooses to have mercy, and whom He decides to harden, and a bad person can’t do right, while a good person can’t do wrong. **

A great French writer has said that the mainspring of our existence does not lie in those veins and nerves and arteries which have been described with so much care—these are but its masks and mouthpieces through which it acts but behind which it is for ever hidden; so in like manner the faiths and formulæ of a Church may be as its bones and animal mechanism, but they are not the life of the Church, which is something rather that cannot be holden in words, and one should know how to put them off, yet put them off gracefully, if they wish to come too prominently forward.  Do not let “An Earnest Clergyman” take things too much au sérieux.  He seems to be contented where he is; let him take the word of one who is old enough to be his father, that if he has a talent for conscientious scruples he will find plenty of scope for them in other professions as well as in the Church.  I, for aught he knows, may be a doctor and I might tell my own story; or I may be a barrister and have found it my duty to win a case which I thought a very poor one, whereby others, whose circumstances were sufficiently pitiable, lost their all; yet doctors and barristers do not write to the newspapers to air their poor consciences in broad daylight.  Why should An Earnest (I hate the word) Clergyman do so?  Let me give him a last word or two of fatherly advice.

A famous French writer once said that the core of our existence isn’t found in the veins, nerves, and arteries that are described with so much detail—those are just the masks and mouthpieces through which we act, while the true essence remains hidden behind them. Similarly, the beliefs and rituals of a Church might serve as its structure and mechanism, but they aren’t the Church’s true life. That life is something that can't be captured in words, and it’s important to know how to set aside those rituals gracefully if they start to overshadow what really matters. Don’t let “An Earnest Clergyman” take things too seriously. He seems satisfied in his position; let him hear from someone old enough to be his father that if he has a knack for overthinking, he’ll find plenty of opportunities for that in other professions too, not just in the Church. For all he knows, I could be a doctor sharing my own experiences, or a lawyer tasked with winning a case I felt was unfair, which caused others, who were already struggling, to lose everything. Yet, doctors and lawyers don’t write to newspapers to broadcast their guilty feelings for all to see. So why should an Earnest (I dislike that term) Clergyman do the same? Allow me to offer him a final piece of fatherly advice.

Men may settle small things for themselves—as what they will have for dinner or where they will spend the vacation—but the great ones—such as the choice of a profession, of the part of England they will live in, whether they will marry or no—they had better leave the force of circumstances to settle for them; if they prefer the phraseology, as I do myself, let them leave these matters to God.  When He has arranged things for them, do not let them be in too great a hurry to upset His arrangement in a tiff.  If they do not like their present and another opening suggests itself easily and naturally, let them take that as a sign that they make a change; otherwise, let them see to it that they do not leave the frying-pan for the fire.  A man, finding himself in the field of a profession, should do as cows do when they are put into a field of grass.  They do not like any field; they like the open prairie of their ancestors.  They walk, however, all round their new abode, surveying the hedges and gates with much interest.  If there is a gap in any hedge they will commonly go through it at once, otherwise they will resign themselves contentedly enough to the task of feeding.

Men can handle small decisions for themselves—like what they want for dinner or where to go on vacation—but for the major ones—like choosing a career, deciding where to live in England, or whether to get married—they should let circumstances take the lead. If they prefer to think of it this way, as I do, they might as well leave these important decisions to God. Once He has made arrangements for them, they shouldn’t rush to mess things up over a disagreement. If they’re unhappy with their current situation and a new opportunity comes up easily, they should take that as a sign to make a change; otherwise, they need to be sure they’re not jumping from the frying pan into the fire. A man, finding himself in a profession, should act like cows do when they’re put into a new pasture. They don’t just settle anywhere; they prefer the open fields of their ancestors. They will walk around their new space, inspecting the fences and gates with great interest. If there’s a gap in any fence, they usually go through it right away; otherwise, they’ll happily settle into the business of grazing.

I am, Sir,

I am, Sir,

One who thinks he knows a thing or two about
Ethics.

One who thinks they know a thing or two about
Ethics.

p. 309XX
First Principles

The Baselessness of Our Ideas

That our ideas are baseless, or rotten at the roots, is what few who study them will deny; but they are rotten in the same way as property is robbery, and property is robbery in the same way as our ideas are rotten at the roots, that is to say it is a robbery and it is not.  No title to property, no idea and no living form (which is the embodiment of idea) is indefeasible if search be made far enough.  Granted that our thoughts are baseless, yet they are so in the same way as the earth itself is both baseless and most firmly based, or again most stable and yet most in motion.

That our ideas are without foundation or fundamentally flawed is something few who examine them will deny; however, they're flawed in the same way that owning property can be considered theft, and property can be theft in the same way that our ideas are fundamentally flawed, meaning it is theft and it isn’t. No claim to property, no idea, and no living form (which represents an idea) is secure if you look deep enough. Even if our thoughts are groundless, they are groundless in the same way that the earth itself is both groundless and incredibly stable, or similarly, both stable and constantly in motion.

Our ideas, or rather, I should say, our realities, are all of them like our Gods, based on superstitious foundations.  If man is a microcosm then kosmos is a megalanthrope and that is how we come to anthropomorphise the deity.  In the eternal pendulum swing of thought we make God in our own image, and then make him make us, and then find it out and cry because we have no God and so on, over and over again as a child has new toys given to it, tires of them, breaks them and is disconsolate till it gets new ones which it will again tire of and break.  If the man who first made God in his own image had been a good model, all might have been well; but he was impressed with an undue sense of his own importance and, as a natural consequence, he had no sense of humour.  Both these imperfections he has fully and faithfully reproduced in his work and with the result we are familiar.  All our most solid and tangible realities are but as lies that we have told too often henceforth to question them.  But we have to question them sometimes.  It is not the sun that goes round the world but we who go round the sun.

Our ideas, or rather, our realities, are all like our Gods, built on superstitious foundations. If humanity is a microcosm, then the universe is a giant human, and that's how we end up giving human traits to the divine. In the endless cycle of thought, we create God in our own image, then expect Him to create us in His, and when we realize the truth, we lament because we feel God is absent, repeating this cycle just like a child who gets new toys, quickly tires of them, breaks them, and becomes upset until they receive new ones that they will also tire of and break. If the person who first shaped God in their own image had been a decent role model, things might have turned out better; but they had an inflated sense of their own importance and, as a result, lacked a sense of humor. These flaws have been fully and faithfully reflected in their creation, leading to the familiar outcome we see today. All our solid and tangible realities are just lies we've told so often that we no longer question them. Yet, we need to question them from time to time. It’s not the sun that orbits the Earth but we who orbit the sun.

If any one is for examining and making requisitions on title we can search too, and can require the title of the state as against any other state, or against the world at large.  But suppose we succeed in this, we must search further still and show by what title mankind has ousted the lower animals, and by what title we eat them, or they themselves eat grass or one another.

If anyone wants to examine and make claims about ownership, we can investigate and demand the state's claim against any other state or even the entire world. But let’s say we manage to do this; we still need to dig deeper and show how humans have displaced lower animals, and by what right we consume them, or how they consume grass or each other.

See what quicksands we fall into if we wade out too far from the terra firma of common consent!  The error springs from supposing that there is any absolute right or absolute truth, and also from supposing that truth and right are any the less real for being not absolute but relative.  In the complex of human affairs we should aim not at a supposed absolute standard but at the greatest coming-together-ness or convenience of all our ideas and practices; that is to say, at their most harmonious working with one another.  Hit ourselves somewhere we are bound to do: no idea will travel far without colliding with some other idea.  Thus, if we pursue one line of probable convenience, we find it convenient to see all things as ultimately one: that is, if we insist rather on the points of agreement between things than on those of disagreement.  If we insist on the opposite view, namely, on the points of disagreement, we find ourselves driven to the conclusion that each atom is an individual entity, and that the unity between even the most united things is apparent only.  If we did not unduly insist upon—that is to say, emphasise and exaggerate—the part which concerns us for the time, we should never get to understand anything; the proper way is to exaggerate first one view and then the other, and then let the two exaggerations collide, but good-temperedly and according to the laws of civilised mental warfare.  So we see first all things as one, then all things as many and, in the end, a multitude in unity and a unity in multitude.  Care must be taken not to accept ideas which though very agreeable at first disagree with us afterwards, and keep rising on our mental stomachs, as garlic does upon our bodily.

See what quicksands we fall into if we wade out too far from the terra firma of common consent! The mistake comes from believing that there is any absolute right or truth, and also from thinking that truth and right are any less real just because they are relative instead of absolute. In the complexity of human affairs, we should aim not at a presumed absolute standard but at the greatest alignment and convenience of all our ideas and practices; in other words, at their most harmonious functioning with one another. We’re bound to hit ourselves somewhere: no idea will get far without colliding with another idea. Thus, if we pursue one line of probable convenience, we find it convenient to see everything as ultimately one: that is, if we focus more on the points of agreement than the points of disagreement. If we insist on the opposite view, focusing on the points of disagreement, we are led to conclude that each atom is an individual entity, and that the unity between even the most connected things is merely apparent. If we didn’t overly emphasize the part that concerns us at the moment, we would never understand anything; the right approach is to first exaggerate one view and then the other, and then let the two exaggerations clash, but kindly and according to the rules of civilized debate. So we initially see all things as one, then as many, and ultimately as a multitude in unity and a unity in multitude. We must be careful not to accept ideas that seem agreeable at first but disagree with us later, making us feel uncomfortable as garlic does in our stomachs.

Imagination

i

Imagination depends mainly upon memory, but there is a small percentage of creation of something out of nothing with it.  We can invent a trifle more than can be got at by mere combination of remembered things.

Imagination mostly relies on memory, but there’s a little bit of creating something from nothing involved as well. We can come up with a bit more than just mixing together things we remember.

ii

When we are impressed by a few only, or perhaps only one of a number of ideas which are bonded pleasantly together, there is hope; when we see a good many there is expectation; when we have had so many presented to us that we have expected confidently and the remaining ideas have not turned up, there is disappointment.  So the sailor says in the play:

When we feel inspired by just a handful, or maybe just one, of several ideas that come together nicely, there’s hope; when we notice quite a few, there’s expectation; when we’ve been shown so many that we confidently anticipated them and the rest haven’t appeared, there’s disappointment. So the sailor says in the play:

“Here are my arms, here is my manly bosom, but where’s my Mary?”

“Here are my arms, here is my strong chest, but where’s my Mary?”

iii

What tricks imagination plays!  Thus, if we expect a person in the street we transform a dozen impossible people into him while they are still too far off to be seen distinctly; and when we expect to hear a footstep on the stairs—as, we will say, the postman’s—we hear footsteps in every sound.  Imagination will make us see a billiard hall as likely to travel farther than it will travel, if we hope that it will do so.  It will make us think we feel a train begin to move as soon as the guard has said “All right,” though the train has not yet begun to move if another train alongside begins to move exactly at this juncture, there is no man who will not be deceived.  And we omit as much as we insert.  We often do not notice that a man has grown a beard.

What tricks our imagination plays! So, when we expect to see someone in the street, we turn a bunch of vague figures into that person while they’re still too far away to be clearly seen; and when we're waiting to hear footsteps on the stairs—like the postman's—we start hearing footsteps in every sound. Imagination can make us believe a billiard ball will travel further than it actually will, just because we hope it will. It can also make us feel like a train is starting to move as soon as the conductor says “All right,” even though the train hasn’t moved yet; if another train beside it starts moving at the same time, no one will be able to tell the difference. And we skip over as much as we notice. We often don’t realize that someone has grown a beard.

iv

I read once of a man who was cured of a dangerous illness by eating his doctor’s prescription which he understood was the medicine itself.  So William Sefton Moorhouse [in New Zealand] imagined he was being converted to Christianity by reading Burton’s Anatomy of Melancholy, which he had got by mistake for Butler’s Analogy, on the recommendation of a friend.  But it puzzled him a good deal.

I once read about a man who cured a serious illness by consuming his doctor's prescription, thinking it was the medicine itself. Similarly, William Sefton Moorhouse [in New Zealand] thought he was being converted to Christianity by reading Burton’s Anatomy of Melancholy, which he mistakenly obtained instead of Butler’s Analogy, based on a friend's recommendation. However, it left him quite confused.

v

At Ivy Hatch, while we were getting our beer in the inner parlour, there was a confused mêlée of voices in the bar, amid which I distinguished a voice saying:

At Ivy Hatch, while we were grabbing our beer in the inner parlor, there was a chaotic mix of voices in the bar, among which I recognized someone saying:

“Imagination will do any bloody thing almost.”

“Imagination can pretty much do anything.”

I was writing Life and Habit at the time and was much tempted to put this passage in.  Nothing truer has ever been said about imagination.  Then the voice was heard addressing the barman and saying:

I was writing Life and Habit at the time and was really tempted to include this passage. Nothing truer has ever been said about imagination. Then I heard a voice addressing the bartender and saying:

“I suppose you wouldn’t trust me with a quart of beer, would you?”

“I guess you wouldn’t trust me with a quart of beer, would you?”

Inexperience

Kant says that all our knowledge is founded on experience.  But each new small increment of knowledge is not so founded, and our whole knowledge is made up of the accumulation of these small new increments not one of which is founded upon experience.  Our knowledge, then, is founded not on experience but on inexperience; for where there is no novelty, that is to say no inexperience, there is no increment in experience.  Our knowledge is really founded upon something which we do not know, but it is converted into experience by memory.

Kant argues that all our knowledge is based on experience. However, each small addition to our knowledge isn't based on experience, and our entire knowledge is built from these small new additions, none of which is rooted in experience. Therefore, our knowledge is based not on experience but on inexperience; because where there’s no novelty, or inexperience, there’s no growth in experience. In reality, our knowledge is based on things we don't know, but it's transformed into experience through memory.

It is like species—we do not know the cause of the variations whose accumulation results in species and any explanation which leaves this out of sight ignores the whole difficulty.  We want to know the cause of the effect that inexperience produces on us.

It’s like species—we don’t know why variations happen that lead to the formation of species, and any explanation that overlooks this misses the entire issue. We want to understand the cause of the effect that inexperience has on us.

Ex Nihilo Nihil Fit

We say that everything has a beginning.  This is one side of the matter.  There is another according to which everything is without a beginning—beginnings, and endings also, being, but as it were, steps cut in a slope of ice without which we could not climb it.  They are for convenience and the hardness of the hearts of men who make an idol of classification, but they do not exist apart from our sense of our own convenience.

We say that everything has a start. This is one perspective. There's another view that suggests everything is without a beginning—starts and ends being, in a way, just steps cut into a slope of ice without which we couldn't ascend it. They're for convenience and the rigidity of human hearts that worship classification, but they don't exist independently of our sense of our own convenience.

It was a favourite saying with William Sefton Moorhouse [in New Zealand] that men cannot get rich by swopping knives.  Nevertheless nature does seem to go upon this principle.  Everybody does eat everybody up.  Man eats birds, birds eat worms and worms eat man again.  It is a vicious circle, yet, somehow or other, there is an increment.  I begin to doubt the principle ex nihilo nihil fit.

It was a favorite saying of William Sefton Moorhouse [in New Zealand] that you can't get rich by trading knives. Still, nature seems to follow this idea. Everyone is consuming one another. Humans eat birds, birds eat worms, and worms end up consuming humans again. It's a vicious cycle, yet somehow, there's still growth. I'm starting to question the principle ex nihilo nihil fit.

We very much want a way of getting something out of nothing and back into it again.  Whether or no we ever shall get such a way, we see the clearly perceptible arising out of and returning into the absolutely imperceptible and, so far as we are concerned, this is much the same thing.  To assume an unknowable substratum as the source from which all things proceed or are evolved is equivalent to assuming that they come up out of nothing; for that which does not exist for us is for us nothing; that which we do not know does not exist qua us, and therefore it does not exist.  When I say “we,” I mean mankind generally, for things may exist qua one man and not qua another.  And when I say “nothing” I postulate something of which we have no experience.

We really want a way to create something out of nothing and then return to that nothing. Whether we’ll ever figure out how to do this, we can clearly see things coming from and going back into what we can’t perceive at all, and for us, that’s pretty much the same. Assuming an unknowable foundation as the source from which everything comes or evolves is just like saying they emerge out of nothing; because what doesn’t exist for us is, in our perspective, nothing; what we don’t know doesn’t exist to us, and so it doesn’t exist. When I say “we,” I mean all of humanity, since things may exist for one person and not for another. And when I say “nothing,” I’m talking about something we have no experience with.

And yet we cannot say that a thing does not exist till it is known to exist.  The planet Neptune existed though, qua us, it did not exist before Adams and Leverrier discovered it, and we cannot hold that its continued non-existence to my laundress and her husband makes it any the less an entity.  We cannot say that it did not exist at all till it was discovered, that it exists only partially and vaguely to most of us, that to many it still does not exist at all, that there are few to whom it even exists in any force or fullness and none who can realise more than the broad facts of its existence.  Neptune has been disturbing the orbits of the planets nearest to him for more centuries than we can reckon, and whether or not he is known to have been doing so has nothing to do with the matter.  If A is robbed, he is robbed, whether he knows it or not.

And yet we can’t say that something doesn’t exist until it’s known to exist. The planet Neptune existed, even though, from our perspective, it didn’t exist until Adams and Leverrier discovered it. We can’t say that its continued non-existence for my laundress and her husband makes it any less real. We can’t claim it didn’t exist at all until it was discovered, that it only exists partially and vaguely for most of us, that for many it still doesn’t exist, that there are few for whom it exists at all in a strong or complete way, and none who can grasp more than the basic facts of its existence. Neptune has been affecting the orbits of the planets closest to him for more centuries than we can count, and whether or not anyone knows that he has been doing so doesn’t change the fact. If A is robbed, he’s robbed, whether he knows it or not.

In one sense, then, we cannot say that the planet Neptune did not exist till he was discovered, but in another we can and ought to do so.  De non apparentibus et non existentibus eadem est ratio; as long, therefore, as Neptune did not appear he did not exist qua us.  The only way out of it is through the contradiction in terms of maintaining that a thing exists and does not exist at one and the same time.  So A may be both robbed, and not robbed.

In one sense, we can't say that the planet Neptune didn't exist until it was discovered, but in another sense, we can and should. De non apparentibus et non existentibus eadem est ratio; therefore, as long as Neptune was not visible, it did not exist qua us. The only way to resolve this is through the contradiction of claiming that something exists and does not exist at the same time. So, A can be both robbed and not robbed.

We consider, therefore, that things have assumed their present shape by course of evolution from a something which, qua us, is a nothing, from a potential something but not an actual, from an actual nothing but a potential not-nothing, from a nothing which might become a something to us with any modification on our parts but which, till such modification has arisen, does not exist in relation to us, though very conceivably doing so in relation to other entities.  But this Protean nothing, capable of appearing as something, is not the absolute, eternal, unchangeable nothing that we mean when we say ex nihilo nihil fit.

We believe that things have taken their current form through evolution from something that, qua us, is nothing, from a potential something that isn't actual yet, from an actual nothing that is a potential not-nothing, from a nothing that could become something for us with any changes we make, but which, until those changes happen, doesn't exist in relation to us, even though it might exist in relation to other entities. However, this fluid nothing, able to show up as something, is not the absolute, eternal, unchangeable nothing we refer to when we say ex nihilo nihil fit.

The alternative is that something should not have come out of nothing, and this is saying that something has always existed.  But the eternal increateness of matter seems as troublesome to conceive as its having been created out of nothing.  I say “seems,” for I am not sure how far it really is so.  We never saw something come out of nothing, that is to say, we never saw a beginning of anything except as the beginning of a new phase of something pre-existent.  We ought therefore to find the notion of eternal being familiar, it ought to be the only conception of matter which we are able to form: nevertheless, we are so carried away by being accustomed to see phases have their beginnings and endings that we forget that the matter, of which we see the phase begin and end, did not begin or end with the phase.

The alternative is that something shouldn't have come from nothing, which means that something has always existed. But the idea of matter always existing is just as difficult to grasp as the idea of it being created from nothing. I say "seems," because I'm not sure how accurate that really is. We've never seen something come from nothing; we've only seen beginnings as the start of a new stage of something that already existed. So, we should find the idea of eternal existence familiar; it should be the only way we can understand matter. Still, we're so used to seeing phases start and end that we forget the matter we see beginning and ending didn't actually start or end with those phases.

Eternal matter permeated by eternal mind, matter and mind being functions of one another, is the least uncomfortable way of looking at the universe; but as it is beyond our comprehension, and cannot therefore be comfortable, sensible persons will not look at the universe at all except in such details as may concern them.

Eternal matter filled with eternal mind, with matter and mind influencing each other, is the least unsettling way to view the universe; however, since it’s beyond our understanding and therefore cannot be comfortable, sensible people will only focus on the parts of the universe that are relevant to them.

Contradiction in Terms

We pay higher and higher in proportion to the service rendered till we get to the highest services, such as becoming a Member of Parliament, and this must not be paid at all.  If a man would go yet higher and found a new and permanent system, or create some new idea or work of art which remains to give delight to ages—he must not only not be paid, but he will have to pay very heavily out of his own pocket into the bargain.

We pay more and more compared to the service provided until we reach the top services, like becoming a Member of Parliament, which shouldn’t be compensated at all. If someone aims even higher and establishes a new permanent system or creates an innovative idea or piece of art that continues to bring joy for generations, not only will they not get paid, but they'll also have to invest a lot of their own money as well.

Again, we are to get all men to speak well of us if we can; yet we are to be cursed if all men speak well of us.

Again, we should try to get everyone to think highly of us if possible; yet we should be wary if everyone speaks well of us.

So when the universe has gathered itself into a single ball (which I don’t for a moment believe it ever will, but I don’t care) it will no sooner have done so, than the bubble will burst and it will go back to its gases again.

So when the universe has come together into a single mass (which I don’t believe will ever happen, but whatever) it will immediately explode and return to its gaseous state.

Contradiction in terms is so omnipresent that we treat it as we treat death, or free-will, or fate, or air, or God, or the Devil—taking these things so much as matters of course that, though they are visible enough if we choose to see them, we neglect them normally altogether, without for a moment intending to deny their existence.  This neglect is convenient as preventing repetitions the monotony of which would defeat their own purpose, but people are tempted nevertheless to forget the underlying omnipresence in the superficial omniabsence.  They forget that its opposite lurks in everything—that there are harmonics of God in the Devil and harmonics of the Devil in God.

Contradiction is so everywhere that we deal with it like we do with death, free will, fate, air, God, or the Devil—taking these things for granted to the point that, even though they’re pretty obvious if we want to see them, we usually overlook them completely, without ever meaning to deny they exist. This oversight is convenient because it prevents repetitions that would make them feel monotonous and defeat their purpose, but people are still tempted to forget the constant presence hidden beneath the obvious absence. They forget that its opposite is hidden in everything—that there are elements of God in the Devil and elements of the Devil in God.

Contradiction in terms is not only to be excused but there can be no proposition which does not more or less involve one.

Contradictions are not just acceptable; every statement typically contains some form of contradiction.

It is the fact of there being contradictions in terms, which have to be smoothed away and fused into harmonious acquiescence with their surroundings, that makes life and consciousness possible at all.  Unless the unexpected were sprung upon us continually to enliven us we should pass life, as it were, in sleep.  To a living being no “It is” can be absolute; wherever there is an “Is,” there, among its harmonics, lurks an “Is not.”  When there is absolute absence of “Is not” the “Is” goes too.  And the “Is not” does not go completely till the “Is” is gone along with it.  Every proposition has got a skeleton in its cupboard.

It’s the presence of contradictions that need to be resolved and blended into a smooth acceptance of their environment that makes life and awareness possible. If we weren’t constantly surprised by the unexpected to keep us engaged, we’d drift through life as if we were asleep. For any living being, nothing can be regarded as absolute; wherever there’s an “Is,” there’s also an “Is not” hiding in its complexities. When there’s a complete lack of “Is not,” the “Is” disappears too. And the “Is not” doesn’t fully vanish until the “Is” is gone as well. Every statement has its hidden flaws.

Extremes

i

Intuition and evidence seem to have something of the same relation that faith and reason, luck and cunning, freewill and necessity and demand and supply have.  They grow up hand in hand and no man can say which comes first.  It is the same with life and death, which lurk one within the other as do rest and unrest, change and persistence, heat and cold, poverty and riches, harmony and counterpoint, night and day, summer and winter.

Intuition and evidence appear to have a similar relationship to that of faith and reason, luck and skill, free will and necessity, as well as demand and supply. They develop alongside each other, and no one can definitively say which one comes first. It's the same with life and death, which are intertwined like rest and unrest, change and stability, heat and cold, poverty and wealth, harmony and dissonance, night and day, summer and winter.

And so with pantheism and atheism; loving everybody is loving nobody, and God everywhere is, practically, God nowhere.  I once asked a man if he was a free-thinker; he replied that he did not think he was.  And so, I have heard of a man exclaiming “I am an atheist, thank God!”  Those who say there is a God are wrong unless they mean at the same time that there is no God, and vice versa.  The difference is the same as that between plus nothing and minus nothing, and it is hard to say which we ought to admire and thank most—the first theist or the first atheist.  Nevertheless, for many reasons, the plus nothing is to be preferred.

And so it is with pantheism and atheism; loving everyone means loving no one, and if God is everywhere, He’s practically nowhere. I once asked a guy if he considered himself a free thinker, and he replied that he didn't think he was. I've also heard someone shout, "I'm an atheist, thank God!" Those who claim there is a God are mistaken unless they simultaneously acknowledge there is no God, and vice versa. The difference is like that between plus nothing and minus nothing, and it’s hard to say which we should admire and be grateful for more—the first theist or the first atheist. Still, for many reasons, we should prefer the plus nothing.

ii

To be poor is to be contemptible, to be very poor is worse still, and so on; but to be actually at the point of death through poverty is to be sublime.  So “when weakness is utter, honour ceaseth.”  [The Righteous Man, p. 390, post.]

To be poor is to be looked down upon, to be really poor is even worse, and so on; but to be at the point of death because of poverty is something extraordinary. So, “when weakness is complete, honor disappears.” [The Righteous Man, p. 390, post.]

iii

The meeting of extremes is never clearer than in the case of moral and intellectual strength and weakness.  We may say with Hesiod “How much the half is greater than the whole!” or with S. Paul “My strength is made perfect in weakness”; they come to much the same thing.  We all know strength so strong as to be weaker than weakness and weakness so great as to be stronger than strength.

The meeting of extremes is never clearer than in the case of moral and intellectual strength and weakness. We can say with Hesiod, “How much the half is greater than the whole!” or with S. Paul, “My strength is made perfect in weakness”; they convey similar ideas. We all recognize strength that's so strong it becomes weaker than weakness, and weakness that's so significant it appears stronger than strength.

iv

The Queen travels as the Countess of Balmoral and would probably be very glad, if she could, to travel as plain Mrs. Smith.  There is a good deal of the Queen lurking in every Mrs. Smith and, conversely, a good deal of Mrs. Smith lurking in every queen.

The Queen travels as the Countess of Balmoral and would probably be very happy, if she could, to travel as just Mrs. Smith. There’s a lot of the Queen in every Mrs. Smith, and on the flip side, there's a lot of Mrs. Smith in every queen.

Free-Will and Necessity

As I am tidying up, and the following beginning of a paper on the above subject has been littering about my table since December 1889, which is the date on the top of page i, I will shoot it on to this dust-heap and bury it out of my sight.  It runs:

As I clean up, I've realized that the first draft of a paper on the topic mentioned above has been cluttering my desk since December 1889, which is the date at the top of page i. I'm going to toss it onto this pile of junk and get it out of my sight. It says:

The difficulty has arisen from our forgetting that contradiction in terms lies at the foundation of all our thoughts as a condition and sine qua non of our being able to think at all.  We imagine that we must either have all free-will and no necessity, or all necessity and no free-will, and, it being obvious that our free-will is often overridden by force of circumstances while the evidence that necessity is overridden by free-will is harder to find (if indeed it can be found, for I have not fully considered the matter), most people who theorise upon this question will deny in theory that there is any free-will at all, though in practice they take care to act as if there was.  For if we admit that like causes are followed by like effects (and everything that we do is based upon this hypothesis), it follows that every combination of causes must have some one consequent which can alone follow it and which free-will cannot touch.

The problem has come from our forgetting that contradiction is at the heart of all our thoughts and is essential for us to be able to think at all. We tend to believe that we can either have complete free will and no necessity, or total necessity and no free will. Since it's obvious that our free will is often limited by circumstances, while it's harder to find evidence that necessity can be overcome by free will (if it can even be found, as I haven't fully thought this through), most people who speculate on this issue will deny, in theory, that free will exists at all, even though they act in practice as if it does. Because if we accept that similar causes result in similar effects (and everything we do is based on this idea), it follows that every set of causes must have one specific result that can only come from it, which free will cannot influence.

(Yes, but it will generally be found that free-will entered into the original combination and the repetition of the combination will not be exact unless a like free-will is repeated along with all the other factors.)

(Yes, but you'll usually find that free will was part of the original mix, and the repetition of that mix won't be precise unless the same free will is repeated along with all the other factors.)

From which it follows that free-will is apparent only, and that, as I said years ago in Erewhon, we are not free to choose what seems best on each occasion but bound to do so, being fettered to the freedom of our wills throughout our lives.

From this, it follows that free will is just an illusion, and as I mentioned years ago in Erewhon, we aren't free to choose what seems best in each situation but are compelled to do so, being constrained by the freedom of our wills throughout our lives.

But to deny free-will is to deny moral responsibility, and we are landed in absurdity at once—for there is nothing more patent than that moral responsibility exists.  Nevertheless, at first sight, it would seem as though we ought not to hang a man for murder if there was no escape for him but that he must commit one.  Of course the answer to one who makes this objection is that our hanging him is as much a matter of necessity as his committing the murder.

But denying free will means denying moral responsibility, which leads us to absurdity immediately—there’s nothing clearer than the fact that moral responsibility exists. However, at first glance, it seems like we shouldn’t execute someone for murder if they had no choice but to commit it. The response to this objection is that our decision to execute him is just as much a matter of necessity as his committing the murder.

If, again, necessity, as involved in the certainty that like combinations will be followed by like consequence, is a basis on which all our actions are founded, so also is freewill.  This is quite as much a sine qua non for action as necessity is; for who would try to act if he did not think that his trying would influence the result?

If necessity, which is tied to the idea that similar actions lead to similar outcomes, is a foundation for all our actions, so is free will. This is just as essential for action as necessity is; after all, who would attempt to act if they didn’t believe their efforts would impact the outcome?

We have therefore two apparently incompatible and mutually destructive faiths, each equally and self-evidently demonstrable, each equally necessary for salvation of any kind, and each equally entering into every thought and action of our whole lives, yet utterly contradictory and irreconcilable.

We therefore have two seemingly incompatible and mutually destructive beliefs, each equally obvious and demonstrable, each equally necessary for any form of salvation, and each equally influencing every thought and action in our lives, yet completely contradictory and irreconcilable.

Can any dilemma seem more hopeless?  It is not a case of being able to live happily with either were t’other dear charmer away; it is indispensable that we should embrace both, and embrace them with equal cordiality at the same time, though each annihilates the other.  It is as though it were indispensable to our existence to be equally dead and equally alive at one and the same moment.

Can any dilemma seem more hopeless? It's not a matter of being able to live happily with one if the other is gone; we need to fully embrace both at the same time, even though each one destroys the other. It's as if we must somehow be both completely dead and completely alive at the exact same moment.

Here we have an illustration which may help us.  For, after all, we are both dead and alive at one and the same moment.  There is no life without a taint of death and no death that is not instinct with a residuum of past life and with germs of the new that is to succeed it.  Let those who deny this show us an example of pure life and pure death.  Any one who has considered these matters will know this to be impossible.  And yet in spite of this, the cases where we are in doubt whether a thing is to be more fitly called dead or alive are so few that they may be disregarded.

Here we have an illustration that might help us. After all, we are both dead and alive at the same time. There’s no life without a hint of death, and no death that doesn’t carry some remnants of past life and seeds of the new that will come after it. Let those who deny this show us an example of pure life and pure death. Anyone who has thought about these things will know that it's impossible. Yet, despite this, the instances where we’re unsure whether something should be called dead or alive are so few that we can ignore them.

I take it, then, that as, though alive, we are in part dead and, though dead, in part alive, so, though bound by necessity, we are in part free, and, though free, yet in part bound by necessity.  At least I can think of no case of such absolute necessity in human affairs as that free-will should have no part in it, nor of such absolute free-will that no part of the action should be limited and controlled by necessity.

I suppose that, while we are partly alive, we are also partly dead, and while dead, we are partly alive. So, even though we are constrained by necessity, we are also partly free, and even though we are free, we are still partly constrained by necessity. I can't think of any situation in human experience where absolute necessity exists without any involvement of free will, nor can I imagine a case of absolute free will where no aspect of the action is limited or influenced by necessity.

Thus, when a man walks to the gallows, he is under large necessity, yet he retains much small freedom; when pinioned, he is less free, but he can open his eyes and mouth and pray aloud or no as he pleases; even when the drop has fallen, so long as he is “he” at all, he can exercise some, though infinitely small, choice.

Thus, when a man walks to the gallows, he is in a great need, yet he still has a bit of freedom; when restrained, he is less free, but he can open his eyes and mouth and pray out loud if he wants to; even when the drop has fallen, as long as he is still “him,” he can make some, albeit very small, choices.

It may be answered that throughout the foregoing chain of actions, the freedom, what little there is of it, is apparent only, and that even in the small freedoms, which are not so obviously controlled by necessity, the necessity is still present as effectually as when the man, though apparently free to walk to the gallows, is in reality bound to do so.  For in respect of the small details of his manner of walking to the gallows, which compulsion does not so glaringly reach, what is it that the man is free to do?  He is free to do as he likes, but he is not free to do as he does not like; and a man’s likings are determined by outside things and by antecedents, pre-natal and post-natal, whose effect is so powerful that the individual who makes the choice proves to be only the resultant of certain forces which have been brought to bear upon him but which are not the man.  So that it seems there is no detail, no nook or corner of action, into which necessity does not penetrate.

It can be said that throughout this series of actions, the freedom, however limited it may be, is only apparent. Even in the small freedoms that aren’t so obviously restricted by necessity, that necessity is still as present as when a man, though seemingly free to walk to the gallows, is actually compelled to do so. In terms of the minor details of how he walks to the gallows, which that force doesn’t obviously control, what choices does the man really have? He is free to act as he wishes, but not free to act against his wishes; and a person's desires are shaped by external factors and past influences, both before and after birth, which are so strong that the individual making the choice turns out to be just the outcome of certain forces acting upon him, rather than the true essence of the man. Thus, it seems that there is no aspect, no shadowy corner of action, that necessity does not touch.

This seems logical, but it is as logical to follow instinct and common sense as to follow logic, and both instinct and common sense assure us that there is no nook or corner of action into which free-will does not penetrate, unless it be those into which mind does not enter at all, as when a man is struck by lightning or is overwhelmed suddenly by an avalanche.

This makes sense, but it's just as reasonable to rely on instinct and common sense as it is to rely on logic. Both instinct and common sense tell us that there's no area of action that free will doesn't touch, except for those situations where the mind isn't involved at all, like when someone gets struck by lightning or is suddenly buried by an avalanche.

Besides, those who maintain that action is bound to follow choice, while choice can only follow opinion as to advantage, neglect the very considerable number of cases in which opinion as to advantage does not exist—when, for instance, a man feels, as we all of us sometimes do, that he is utterly incapable of forming any opinion whatever as to his most advantageous course.

Besides, those who argue that action must follow choice, while choice can only come after an opinion on what’s advantageous, overlook the many situations where there’s no opinion on what’s best—for example, when someone feels, like we all do at times, that they are completely unable to form any opinion about their best path forward.

But this again is fallacious.  For suppose he decides to toss up and be guided by the result, this is still what he has chosen to do, and his action, therefore, is following his choice.  Or suppose, again, that he remains passive and does nothing—his passivity is his choice.

But this is misleading. For suppose he decides to flip a coin and go with the result; this is still his choice, and his action is based on that choice. Or suppose, again, that he stays inactive and does nothing—his inaction is still a choice.

I can see no way out of it unless either frankly to admit that contradiction in terms is the bedrock on which all our thoughts and deeds are founded, and to acquiesce cheerfully in the fact that whenever we try to go below the surface of any enquiry we find ourselves utterly baffled—or to redefine freedom and necessity, admitting each as a potent factor of the other.  And this I do not see my way to doing.  I am therefore necessitated to choose freely the admission that our understanding can burrow but a very small way into the foundations of our beliefs, and can only weaken rather than strengthen them by burrowing at all.

I can’t see any way out of this except to honestly admit that contradictions are the foundation of all our thoughts and actions, and to accept that whenever we dig deeper into any inquiry, we find ourselves completely confused—or to redefine freedom and necessity, recognizing that each is a significant part of the other. I don’t see how I can do that. So, I have to freely accept that our understanding can only probe a little way into the roots of our beliefs, and that trying to dig deeper only weakens them instead of strengthening them.

Free-Will otherwise Cunning

The element of free-will, cunning, spontaneity, individuality—so omnipresent, so essential, yet so unreasonable, and so inconsistent with the other element not less omnipresent and not less essential, I mean necessity, luck, fate—this element of free-will, which comes from the unseen kingdom within which the writs of our thoughts run not, must be carried down to the most tenuous atoms whose action is supposed most purely chemical and mechanical; it can never be held as absolutely eliminated, for if it be so held, there is no getting it back again, and that it exists, even in the lowest forms of life, cannot be disputed.  Its existence is one of the proofs of the existence of an unseen world, and a means whereby we know the little that we do know of that world.

The concept of free will—cunning, spontaneity, individuality—so ever-present, so necessary, yet so irrational and inconsistent with another equally present and essential element, which is necessity, luck, fate. This free will, arising from the unseen realm where our thoughts cannot fully operate, must reach down to the tiniest atoms, whose actions are thought to be purely chemical and mechanical. It can never be considered completely eliminated, because if it is, there’s no way to bring it back, and its existence, even in the simplest forms of life, cannot be denied. Its presence serves as evidence of an unseen world and a way we understand the little that we do grasp about that world.

Necessity otherwise Luck

It is all very well to insist upon the free-will or cunning side of living action, more especially now when it has been so persistently ignored, but though the fortunes of birth and surroundings have all been built up by cunning, yet it is by ancestral, vicarious cunning, and this, to each individual, comes to much the same as luck pure and simple; in fact, luck is seldom seriously intended to mean a total denial of cunning, but is for the most part only an expression whereby we summarise and express our sense of a cunning too complex and impalpable for conscious following and apprehension.

It’s all well and good to emphasize the free will or clever side of living, especially now that it’s been so often overlooked. However, while the circumstances of our birth and our environment are often shaped by cleverness, this cleverness is inherited and vicarious, which ultimately feels similar to plain luck for each individual. In fact, luck is rarely meant to completely deny cleverness; instead, it’s mostly a way for us to summarize and express our understanding of a cleverness that is too complicated and intangible to follow and grasp consciously.

When we consider how little we have to do with our parentage, country and education, or even with our genus and species, how vitally these things affect us both in life and death, and how, practically, the cunning in connection with them is so spent as to be no cunning at all, it is plain that the drifts, currents, and storms of what is virtually luck will be often more than the little helm of cunning can control.  And so with death.  Nothing can affect us less, but at the same time nothing can affect us more; and how little can cunning do against it?  At the best it can only defer it.  Cunning is nine-tenths luck, and luck is nine-tenths cunning; but the fact that nine-tenths of cunning is luck leaves still a tenth part unaccounted for.

When we think about how little control we have over our family background, country, education, or even our species, and how profoundly these factors influence us in life and death, it's clear that the forces of what is essentially luck often overpower the little bit of cleverness we might have. The same goes for death. It can impact us the least, yet nothing can impact us more, and there's very little cleverness can do to counter it. At best, it can only postpone it. Cleverness is mostly about luck, and luck is mostly about cleverness; however, the fact that most of cleverness is luck still leaves some part unexplained.

Choice

Our choice is apparently most free, and we are least obviously driven to determine our course, in those cases where the future is most obscure, that is, when the balance of advantage appears most doubtful.

Our choice seems to be the freest, and we’re less obviously forced to decide our direction, in situations where the future is the least clear, that is, when the benefits seem the most uncertain.

Where we have an opinion that assures us promptly which way the balance of advantage will incline—whether it be an instinctive, hereditarily acquired opinion or one rapidly and decisively formed as the result of post-natal experience—then our action is determined at once by that opinion, and freedom of choice practically vanishes.

Where we have a viewpoint that quickly tells us which way the benefits will tilt—whether it's an instinctive belief we've inherited or one that's formed swiftly through experiences after birth—then our actions are immediately guided by that viewpoint, and our freedom to choose essentially disappears.

Ego and Non-Ego

You can have all ego, or all non-ego, but in theory you cannot have half one and half the other—yet in practice this is exactly what you must have, for everything is both itself and not itself at one and the same time.

You can have all ego or all non-ego, but in theory, you can't have half of one and half of the other—yet in practice, this is exactly what you must have, because everything is both itself and not itself at the same time.

A living thing is itself in so far as it has wants and gratifies them.  It is not itself in so far as it uses itself as a tool for the gratifying of its wants.  Thus an amœba is aware of a piece of meat which it wants to eat.  It has nothing except its own body to fling at the meat and catch it with.  If it had a little hand-net, or even such an organ as our own hand, it would use it, but it has only got itself; so it takes itself by the scruff of its own neck, as it were, and flings itself at the piece of meat, as though it were not itself but something which it is using in order to gratify itself.  So we make our own bodies into carriages every time we walk.  Our body is our tool-box—and our bodily organs are the simplest tools we can catch hold of.

A living thing is what it is because it has desires and fulfills them. It is not truly itself when it uses its own body as a means to satisfy those desires. For example, an amoeba knows there's a piece of meat it wants to eat. It has nothing but its own body to throw at the meat to catch it. If it had a little hand-net or a hand like ours, it would use that, but instead, it just throws itself at the piece of meat, as if it's not itself but something it's using to satisfy its needs. In the same way, we turn our own bodies into vehicles every time we walk. Our body is like a toolbox—and our body parts are the simplest tools we can use.

When the amœba has got the piece of meat and has done digesting it, it leaves off being not itself and becomes itself again.  A thing is only itself when it is doing nothing; as long as it is doing something it is its own tool and not itself.

When the amoeba has obtained the piece of meat and has finished digesting it, it stops being not itself and becomes itself again. A thing is only itself when it is doing nothing; as long as it is doing something, it is its own tool and not itself.

Or you may have it that everything is itself in respect of the pleasure or pain it is feeling, but not itself in respect of the using of itself by itself as a tool with which to work its will.  Or perhaps we should say that the ego remains always ego in part; it does not become all non-ego at one and the same time.  We throw our fist into a man’s face as though it were a stick we had picked up to beat him with.  For the moment, our fist is hardly “us,” but it becomes “us” again as we feel the resistance it encounters from the man’s eye.  Anyway, we can only chuck about a part of ourselves at a time, we cannot chuck the lot—and yet I do not know this, for we may jump off the ground and fling ourselves on to a man.

Or you might feel that everything experiences pleasure or pain in its own way, but isn’t entirely itself when it's being used as a tool to get what it wants. Or maybe we should say that the ego is always part ego; it never becomes completely non-ego all at once. We throw our fist into someone’s face as if it were a stick we picked up to hit him with. In that moment, our fist hardly feels like “us,” but it becomes “us” again as we sense the resistance it meets against the guy's eye. Anyway, we can only throw a part of ourselves at a time; we can’t throw it all—and yet, maybe I’m wrong, because we can jump off the ground and launch ourselves at someone.

The fact that both elements are present and are of such nearly equal value explains the obstinacy of the conflict between the upholders of Necessity and Free-Will which, indeed, are only luck and cunning under other names.

The presence of both elements and their almost equal value explains the stubbornness of the conflict between those who support Necessity and those who believe in Free Will, which are really just luck and cunning by different names.

For, on the one hand, the surroundings so obviously and powerfully mould us, body and soul, and even the little modifying power which at first we seem to have is found, on examination, to spring so completely from surroundings formerly beyond the control of our ancestors, that a logical thinker, who starts with these premises, is soon driven to the total denial of free-will, except, of course, as an illusion; in other words, he perceives the connection between ego and non-ego, tries to disunite them so as to know when he is talking about what, and finds to his surprise that he cannot do so without violence to one or both.  Being, above all things, a logical thinker, and abhorring the contradiction in terms involved in admitting anything to be both itself and something other than itself at one and the same time, he makes the manner in which the one is rooted into the other a pretext for merging the ego, as the less bulky of the two, in the non-ego; hence practically he declares the ego to have no further existence, except as a mere appendage and adjunct of the non-ego the existence of which he alone recognises (though how he can recognise it without recognising also that he is recognising it as something foreign to himself it is not easy to see).  As for the action and interaction that goes on in the non-ego, he refers it to fate, fortune, chance, luck, necessity, immutable law, providence (meaning generally improvidence) or to whatever kindred term he has most fancy for.  In other words, he is so much impressed with the connection between luck and cunning, and so anxious to avoid contradiction in terms, that he tries to abolish cunning, and dwells, as Mr. Darwin did, almost exclusively upon the luck side of the matter.

For, on one hand, the environment clearly and strongly shapes us, both physically and mentally, and even the small amount of control we initially believe we have can be traced back to influences well beyond our ancestors' control. A logical thinker, starting from these premises, quickly arrives at the conclusion that free will doesn't really exist, viewing it instead as an illusion. In other words, he sees the link between the self and everything outside of it, tries to separate them to understand what he is actually discussing, and is surprised to find he can't do this without disrupting one or both. Being fundamentally a logical thinker and detesting any contradiction that suggests something can be both itself and something else at the same time, he uses the way in which one is intertwined with the other as a reason to merge the self—being the less substantial of the two—into the external world; thus, he effectively claims that the self exists only as a minor part of the external world, which he acknowledges (though it's not clear how he can do so without also recognizing that he sees it as something separate from himself). As for the actions and interactions happening in the external world, he attributes them to fate, fortune, chance, luck, necessity, unchanging law, providence (generally implying a lack of foresight), or whatever related term he prefers. In other words, he is so struck by the relationship between luck and cleverness and is so eager to avoid contradictions that he tries to eliminate cleverness and focuses, much like Mr. Darwin, almost entirely on the aspect of luck.

Others, on the other hand, find the ego no less striking than their opponents find the non-ego.  Every hour they mould things so considerably to their pleasure that, even though they may for argument’s sake admit free-will to be an illusion, they say with reason that no reality can be more real than an illusion which is so strong, so persistent and so universal; this contention, indeed, cannot be disputed except at the cost of invalidating the reality of all even our most assured convictions.  They admit that there is an apparent connection between their ego and non-ego, their necessity and free-will, their luck and cunning; they grant that the difference is resolvable into a difference of degree and not of kind; but, on the other hand, they say that in each degree there still lurks a little kind, and that a difference of many degrees makes a difference of kind—there being, in fact, no difference between differences of degree and those of kind, except that the second are an accumulation of the first.  The all-powerfulness of the surroundings is declared by them to be as completely an illusion, if examined closely, as the power of the individual was declared to be by their opponents, inasmuch as the antecedents of the non-ego, when examined by them, prove to be not less due to the personal individual element everywhere recognisable, than the ego, when examined by their opponents, proved to be mergeable in the universal.  They claim, therefore, to be able to resolve everything into spontaneity and free-will with no less logical consistency than that with which freewill can be resolved into an outcome of necessity.

Others, however, find the ego just as impressive as their opponents find the non-ego. Every hour, they shape things to their liking so much that, even if they admit for the sake of argument that free will is an illusion, they can reasonably argue that no reality can be more real than an illusion that is so strong, enduring, and widespread. This argument, in fact, can only be disputed at the expense of questioning the reality of even our most firmly held beliefs. They acknowledge that there is an apparent link between their ego and non-ego, their necessity and free will, their luck and cunning; they concede that the difference is more about degree than kind. But, on the other hand, they argue that in each degree, there still lies a bit of kind, and that a difference of many degrees results in a difference of kind—essentially, there is no difference between differences of degree and those of kind, except that the latter is just an accumulation of the former. They assert that the overwhelming power of surroundings is just as much an illusion, upon close examination, as the power of the individual was claimed to be by their opponents. As they see it, the antecedents of the non-ego, when analyzed, prove to be just as influenced by the individual element present everywhere as the ego is seen by their opponents to merge into the universal. They claim, therefore, that they can explain everything in terms of spontaneity and free will with no less logical consistency than free will can be framed as a product of necessity.

Two Incomprehensibles

You may assume life of some kind omnipresent for ever throughout matter.  This is one way.  Another way is to assume an act of spontaneous generation, i.e. a transition somewhere and somewhen from absolutely non-living to absolutely living.  You cannot have it both ways.  But it seems to me that you must have it both ways.  You must not begin with life (or potential life) everywhere alone, nor must you begin with a single spontaneous generation alone, but you must carry your spontaneous generation (or denial of the continuity of life) down, ad infinitum, just as you must carry your continuity of life (or denial of spontaneous generation) down ad infinitum and, compatible or incompatible, you must write a scientific Athanasian Creed to comprehend these two incomprehensibles.

You can believe that some form of life is constantly present throughout matter. That’s one option. Another option is to believe in a sudden event of spontaneous generation, meaning a shift at some point in time from completely non-living to fully living. You can’t have it both ways. But it seems to me that you need to consider both perspectives. You shouldn’t start with life (or the potential for life) being everywhere by itself, nor should you start with just one instance of spontaneous generation. Instead, you need to carry the idea of spontaneous generation (or the denial of life's continuity) indefinitely, just as you need to carry the idea of life's continuity (or the denial of spontaneous generation) indefinitely. Whether they fit together or not, you must create a scientific version of the Athanasian Creed to understand these two mysteries.

If, then, it is only an escape from one incomprehensible position to another, cui bono to make a change?  Why not stay quietly in the Athanasian Creed as we are?  And, after all, the Athanasian Creed is light and comprehensible reading in comparison with much that now passes for science.

If it's just moving from one confusing situation to another, cui bono to make a change? Why not just stay quietly with the Athanasian Creed as we are? Besides, the Athanasian Creed is easy to read and understand compared to a lot of what is considered science today.

I can give no answer to this as regards the unintelligible clauses, for what we come to in the end is just as abhorrent to and inconceivable by reason as what they offer us; but as regards what may be called the intelligible parts—that Christ was born of a Virgin, died, rose from the dead—we say that, if it were not for the prestige that belief in these alleged facts has obtained, we should refuse attention to them.  Out of respect, however, for the mass of opinion that accepts them we have looked into the matter with care, and we have found the evidence break down.  The same reasoning and canons of criticism which convince me that Christ was crucified convince me at the same time that he was insufficiently crucified.  I can only accept his death and resurrection at the cost of rejecting everything that I have been taught to hold most strongly.  I can only accept the so-called testimony in support of these alleged facts at the cost of rejecting, or at any rate invalidating, all the testimony on which I have based all comfortable assurance of any kind whatsoever.

I can't answer the confusing parts because in the end, what we arrive at is just as repulsive and hard to understand as what they present to us. However, regarding the parts that make sense—that Christ was born of a Virgin, died, and rose from the dead—we believe that if it weren't for the influence that belief in these supposed facts has gained, we would ignore them altogether. Out of respect for the large number of people who accept them, we've examined the issue closely, and we've found the evidence to be lacking. The same reasoning and standards of criticism that convince me that Christ was crucified also lead me to conclude that he was not adequately crucified. I can only accept his death and resurrection by rejecting everything I've been taught to believe strongly. I can only accept the so-called evidence supporting these supposed facts by rejecting, or at least undermining, all the evidence on which I've relied for any sense of comfort or assurance.

God and the Unknown

God is the unknown, and hence the nothing qua us.  He is also the ensemble of all we know, and hence the everything qua us.  So that the most absolute nothing and the most absolute everything are extremes that meet (like all other extremes) in God.

God is the unknown, and therefore the nothing qua us. He is also the totality of everything we know, and hence the everything qua us. So, the most complete nothing and the most complete everything are extremes that come together (like all other extremes) in God.

Men think they mean by God something like what Raffaelle and Michael Angelo have painted; unless this were so Raffaelle and Michael Angelo would not have painted as they did.  But to get at our truer thoughts we should look at our less conscious and deliberate utterances.  From these it has been gathered that God is our expression for all forces and powers which we do not understand, or with which we are unfamiliar, and for the highest ideal of wisdom, goodness and power which we can conceive, but for nothing else.

Men believe that when they talk about God, they mean something similar to what Raphael and Michelangelo depicted in their art; if that weren't the case, they wouldn’t have painted the way they did. However, to understand our deeper thoughts, we should examine our less conscious and intentional expressions. From these, it seems that God represents our term for all the forces and powers we don't grasp or aren't familiar with, as well as for the highest ideals of wisdom, goodness, and power that we can imagine, but nothing beyond that.

Thus God makes the grass grow because we do not understand how the air and earth and water near a piece of grass are seized by the grass and converted into more grass; but God does not mow the grass and make hay of it.  It is Paul and Apollos who plant and water, but God who giveth the increase.  We never say that God does anything which we can do ourselves, or ask him for anything which we know how to get in any other way.  As soon as we understand a thing we remove it from the sphere of God’s action.

Thus, God makes the grass grow because we don’t really get how the air, earth, and water around a piece of grass are absorbed by the grass and turned into more grass; but God doesn’t mow the grass or make hay from it. It’s Paul and Apollos who plant and water, but it’s God who makes it grow. We never say that God does anything we can do ourselves or ask Him for anything we know how to get in another way. As soon as we understand something, we take it out of the realm of God’s action.

As long as there is an unknown there will be a God for all practical purposes; the name of God has never yet been given to a known thing except by way of flattery, as to Roman Emperors, or through the attempt to symbolise the unknown generally, as in fetish worship, and then the priests had to tell the people that there was something more about the fetish than they knew of, or they would soon have ceased to think of it as God.

As long as there’s something unknown, there will be a God for all practical purposes; the name of God has never really been attached to something known, except out of flattery, like with Roman Emperors, or in an effort to represent the unknown in general, like in fetish worship. Then the priests had to explain to the people that there was more to the fetish than they understood, or else they would quickly stop seeing it as God.

To understand a thing is to feel as though we could stand under or alongside of it in all its parts and form a picture of it in our minds throughout.  We understand how a violin is made if our minds can follow the manufacture in all its detail and picture it to ourselves.  If we feel that we can identify ourselves with the steam and machinery of a steam engine, so as to travel in imagination with the steam through all the pipes and valves, if we can see the movement of each part of the piston, connecting rod, &c., so as to be mentally one with both the steam and the mechanism throughout their whole action and construction, then we say we understand the steam engine, and the idea of God never crosses our minds in connection with it.

To understand something is to feel like we can stand underneath or next to it, seeing all its parts and forming a complete picture of it in our minds. We grasp how a violin is made if we can follow the entire process in detail and visualize it. If we feel we can connect with the steam and machinery of a steam engine, imagining traveling with the steam through all the pipes and valves, and if we can visualize the movement of each part of the piston, connecting rod, etc., so that we become mentally one with both the steam and the machine throughout their entire operation and construction, then we say we understand the steam engine, and the concept of God doesn’t come to our minds in relation to it.

When we feel that we can neither do a thing ourselves, nor even learn to do it by reason of its intricacy and difficulty, and that no one else ever can or will, and yet we see the thing none the less done daily and hourly all round us, then we are not content to say we do not understand how the thing is done, we go further and ascribe the action to God.  As soon as there is felt to be an unknown and apparently unknowable element, then, but not till then, does the idea God present itself to us.  So at coroners’ inquests juries never say the deceased died by the visitation of God if they know any of the more proximate causes.

When we feel that we can't do something ourselves, or even learn how to do it because it's too complicated and hard, and that no one else can or will, yet we still see it happening all around us every day and every hour, we can’t just accept that we don’t understand how it’s done. We go further and attribute the action to God. As soon as we sense an unknown and seemingly unknowable factor, that's when the idea of God comes to mind for us. So, during coroner's inquests, juries never say that the deceased died because of God's intervention if they know any of the more immediate causes.

It is not God, therefore, who sows the corn—we could sow corn ourselves, we can see the man with a bag in his hand walking over ploughed fields and sowing the corn broadcast—but it is God who made the man who goes about with the bag, and who makes the corn sprout, for we do not follow the processes that take place here.

It’s not God who plants the corn—we could plant it ourselves; we can see a guy with a bag walking over tilled fields and scattering the seeds—but it’s God who created the person with the bag and who makes the corn grow, since we don’t understand the processes happening here.

As long as we knew nothing about what caused this or that weather we used to ascribe it to God’s direct action and pray him to change it according to our wants: now that we know more about the weather there is a growing disinclination among clergymen to pray for rain or dry weather, while laymen look to nothing but the barometer.  So people do not say God has shown them this or that when they have just seen it in the newspapers; they would only say that God had shown it them if it had come into their heads suddenly and after they had tried long and vainly to get at this particular point.

As long as we didn’t know what caused different weather patterns, we used to think it was God's direct action and prayed for him to change it based on our needs. Now that we understand more about weather, fewer clergymen are inclined to pray for rain or dry weather, while everyday people rely solely on the barometer. So, people don't say God has revealed something to them when they just read about it in the newspapers; they would only claim God revealed it to them if it suddenly popped into their minds after they had tried for a long time, without success, to understand it.

To lament that we cannot be more conscious of God and understand him better is much like lamenting that we are not more conscious of our circulation and digestion.  Provided we live according to familiar laws of health, the less we think about circulation and digestion the better; and so with the ordinary rules of good conduct, the less we think about God the better.

To be sad that we aren't more aware of God and don't understand Him better is similar to being upset that we're not more aware of our blood flow and digestion. As long as we live by the basic rules of health, it's better if we think less about circulation and digestion; the same goes for the usual standards of good behavior—it's better if we think less about God.

To know God better is only to realise more fully how impossible it is that we should ever know him at all.  I cannot tell which is the more childish—to deny him, or to attempt to define him.

To know God better only means to understand more fully how impossible it is that we could ever truly know him. I can’t decide which is more naive—to deny him or to try to define him.

Scylla and Charybdis

They are everywhere.  Just now coming up Great Russell Street I loitered outside a print shop.  There they were as usual—Hogarth’s Idle and Virtuous Apprentices.  The idle apprentice is certainly Scylla, but is not the virtuous apprentice just as much Charybdis?  Is he so greatly preferable?  Is not the right thing somewhere between the two?  And does not the art of good living consist mainly in a fine perception of when to edge towards the idle and when towards the virtuous apprentice?

They’re everywhere. Just now, as I was walking up Great Russell Street, I hung out outside a print shop. There they were, as usual—Hogarth’s Idle and Virtuous Apprentices. The idle apprentice is definitely Scylla, but isn’t the virtuous apprentice just as much Charybdis? Is he really that much better? Isn’t the right choice somewhere in between the two? And doesn’t the art of living well mainly involve having a good sense of when to lean toward the idle and when to lean toward the virtuous apprentice?

When John Bunyan (or Richard Baxter, or whoever it was) said “There went John Bunyan, but for the grace of God” (or whatever he did say), had he a right to be so cock-sure that the criminal on whom he was looking was not saying much the same thing as he looked upon John Bunyan?  Does any one who knows me doubt that if I were offered my choice between a bishopric and a halter, I should choose the halter?  I believe half the bishops would choose the halter themselves if they had to do it over again.

When John Bunyan (or Richard Baxter, or whoever it was) said, “There went John Bunyan, but for the grace of God” (or whatever he actually said), did he really have the right to be so sure that the criminal he was looking at wasn’t thinking something very similar while looking at John Bunyan? Does anyone who knows me really doubt that if I were given the choice between being a bishop and hanging myself, I would pick the noose? I believe half the bishops would choose the noose too if they had to do it all over again.

Philosophy

As a general rule philosophy is like stirring mud or not letting a sleeping dog lie.  It is an attempt to deny, circumvent or otherwise escape from the consequences of the interlacing of the roots of things with one another.  It professes to appease our ultimate “Why?” though in truth it is generally the solution of a simplex ignotum by a complex ignotius.  This, at least, is my experience of everything that has been presented to me as philosophy.  I have often had my “Why” answered with so much mystifying matter that I have left off pressing it through fatigue.  But this is not having my ultimate “Why?” appeased.  It is being knocked out of time.

As a general rule, philosophy is like stirring mud or not letting a sleeping dog lie. It tries to deny, avoid, or escape the consequences of how things are interconnected. It claims to satisfy our ultimate “Why?” but in reality, it usually solves a simplex ignotum with a complex ignotius. At least, that’s been my experience with everything that’s been presented to me as philosophy. I’ve often had my “Why” answered with so much confusing information that I eventually stopped asking out of exhaustion. But that’s not really having my ultimate “Why?” satisfied. It’s just getting knocked out of sync.

Philosophy and Equal Temperament

It is with philosophy as with just intonation on a piano, if you get everything quite straight and on all fours in one department, in perfect tune, it is delightful so long as you keep well in the middle of the key; but as soon as you modulate you find the new key is out of tune and the more remotely you modulate the more out of tune you get.  The only way is to distribute your error by equal temperament and leave common sense to make the correction in philosophy which the ear does instantaneously and involuntarily in music.

It's like philosophy is similar to tuning a piano; when everything is perfectly aligned in one area, it sounds great as long as you stay centered in the key. But once you shift to a new key, it quickly goes out of tune, and the further you move, the more out of tune it becomes. The solution is to spread your mistakes evenly, much like equal temperament, and let common sense fix the philosophical errors as the ear does automatically and instinctively in music.

Hedging the Cuckoo

People will still keep trying to find some formula that shall hedge-in the cuckoo of mental phenomena to their satisfaction.  Half the books—nay, all of them that deal with thought and its ways in the academic spirit—are but so many of these hedges in various stages of decay.

People will continue to search for some formula that will contain the chaos of mental phenomena to their satisfaction. Half, no, all of the books that discuss thought and its processes in an academic way are just various attempts to create these barriers, all in different stages of decline.

God and Philosophies

All philosophies, if you ride them home, are nonsense; but some are greater nonsense than others.  It is perhaps because God does not set much store by or wish to encourage them that he has attached such very slender rewards to them.

All philosophies, if you bring them home, are nonsense; but some are bigger nonsense than others. It might be because God doesn’t value them much or want to encourage them that he has tied such very small rewards to them.

Common Sense, Reason and Faith

Reason is not the ultimate test of truth nor is it the court of first instance.

Reason isn't the final test of truth, nor is it the primary authority.

For example: A man questions his own existence; he applies first to the court of mother-wit and is promptly told that he exists; he appeals next to reason and, after some wrangling, is told that the matter is very doubtful; he proceeds to the equity of that reasonable faith which inspires and transcends reason, and the judgment of the court of first instance is upheld while that of reason is reversed.

For example: A man questions his own existence; he first asks his common sense and is quickly told that he exists; he then turns to reason and, after some debate, is told that it's quite uncertain; he moves on to the principles of rational faith that inspires and goes beyond reason, and the decision of the first court is upheld while that of reason is overturned.

Nevertheless it is folly to appeal from reason to faith unless one is pretty sure of a verdict and, in most cases about which we dispute seriously, reason is as far as we need go.

Nevertheless, it's foolish to turn to faith over reason unless you're pretty confident about the outcome, and in most serious debates, reason is all we really need.

The Credit System

The whole world is carried on on the credit system; if every one were to demand payment in hard cash, there would be universal bankruptcy.  We think as we do mainly because other people think so.  But if every one stands on every one else, what does the bottom man stand on?  Faith is no foundation, for it rests in the end on reason.  Reason is no foundation, for it rests upon faith.

The entire world operates on a credit system; if everyone asked for payment in cash, there would be widespread bankruptcy. We hold our beliefs mainly because others do. But if everyone relies on everyone else, what does the person at the bottom stand on? Faith isn't a solid foundation because it ultimately depends on reason. Reason isn't a solid foundation either, since it relies on faith.

Argument

We are not won by argument, which is like reading and writing and disappears when there is need of such vanity, or like colour that vanishes with too much light or shade, or like sound that becomes silence in the extremes.  Argument is useless when there is either no conviction at all or a very strong conviction.  It is a means of conviction and as such belongs to the means of conviction, not to the extremes.  We are not won by arguments that we can analyse, but by tone and temper, by the manner which is the man himself.

We aren't convinced by arguments, which are like reading and writing that fade away when we need that kind of pride, or like colors that disappear with too much light or darkness, or like sounds that turn into silence at the extremes. Arguments are pointless when there's either no belief at all or a very strong one. They are a tool for persuasion and, as such, belong to the process of convincing, not the extremes. We aren't swayed by arguments we can dissect, but by tone and attitude, by the way someone carries themselves, which reflects who they are.

Logic and Philosophy

When you have got all the rules and all the lore of philosophy and logic well into your head, and have spent years in getting to understand at any rate what they mean and have them at command, you will know less for practical purposes than one who has never studied logic or philosophy.

When you've learned all the rules and concepts of philosophy and logic and have spent years trying to grasp their meanings and apply them, you'll know less for practical purposes than someone who has never studied logic or philosophy.

Science

If it tends to thicken the crust of ice on which, as it were, we are skating, it is all right.  If it tries to find, or professes to have found, the solid ground at the bottom of the water, it is all wrong.  Our business is with the thickening of this crust by extending our knowledge downward from above, as ice gets thicker while the frost lasts; we should not try to freeze upwards from the bottom.

If it makes the ice crust thicker on which we're skating, that's fine. If it tries to find, or claims to have found, solid ground at the bottom of the water, that's a mistake. Our focus should be on thickening this crust by deepening our understanding from above, just like ice thickens while the frost lasts; we shouldn't try to freeze from the bottom up.

Religion

A religion only means something so certainly posed that nothing can ever displace it.  It is an attempt to settle first principles so authoritatively that no one need so much as even think of ever re-opening them for himself or feel any, even the faintest, misgiving upon the matter.  It is an attempt to get an irrefragably safe investment, and this cannot be got, no matter how low the interest, which in the case of religion is about as low as it can be.

A religion only has meaning when it’s established so firmly that nothing can ever change it. It tries to set the fundamental ideas with such authority that no one would ever think of questioning them or feel even the slightest doubt about the issue. It’s a way to secure an absolutely safe investment, and this just isn’t possible, no matter how low the interest rate is, which in the case of religion is about as low as it can get.

Any religion that cannot be founded on half a sheet of note-paper will be bottom-heavy, and this, in a matter so essentially of sentiment as religion, is as bad as being top-heavy in a material construction.  It must of course catch on to reason, but the less it emphasises the fact the better.

Any religion that can't be based on half a sheet of note paper will be unbalanced, and in something as fundamentally sentimental as religion, that's just as problematic as being top-heavy in a physical structure. It obviously needs to connect to reason, but the less it emphasizes that fact, the better.

Logic

Logic has no place save with that which can be defined in words.  It has nothing to do, therefore, with those deeper questions that have got beyond words and consciousness.  To apply logic here is as fatuous as to disregard it in cases where it is applicable.  The difficulty lies, as it always does, on the border lines between the respective spheres of influence.

Logic only applies to things that can be described in words. It doesn't relate to the deeper questions that go beyond language and awareness. Using logic in this context is just as foolish as ignoring it when it is relevant. The challenge always exists at the boundaries where these areas intersect.

Logic and Faith

Logic is like the sword—those who appeal to it shall perish by it.  Faith is appealing to the living God, and one may perish by that too, but somehow one would rather perish that way than the other, and one has got to perish sooner or later.

Logic is like a sword—those who rely on it will ultimately face its consequences. Faith is trusting in the living God, and that can lead to downfall as well, but somehow, people would prefer to fall that way rather than through logic. Eventually, everyone will face some kind of end.

Common Sense and Philosophy

The voices of common sense and of high philosophy sometimes cross; but common sense is the unalterable canto fermo and philosophy is the variable counterpoint.

The voices of common sense and high philosophy occasionally overlap; however, common sense is the constant melody, while philosophy is the changing harmony.

First Principles

It is said we can build no superstructure without a foundation of unshakable principles.  There are no such principles.  Or, if there be any, they are beyond our reach—we cannot fathom them; therefore, qua us, they have no existence, for there is no other “is not” than inconceivableness by ourselves.  There is one thing certain, namely, that we can have nothing certain; therefore it is not certain that we can have nothing certain.  We are as men who will insist on looking over the brink of a precipice; some few can gaze into the abyss below without losing their heads, but most men will grow dizzy and fall.  The only thing to do is to glance at the chaos on which our thoughts are founded, recognise that it is a chaos and that, in the nature of things, no theoretically firm ground is even conceivable, and then to turn aside with the disgust, fear and horror of one who has been looking into his own entrails.

It’s said that we can’t build any structure without a solid foundation of unshakeable principles. But those principles don’t exist. Or, if they do exist, they’re beyond our understanding—we can’t grasp them; therefore, qua us, they don’t really exist because there’s no “is not” other than what we can’t conceive. One thing is certain: we can’t have anything certain; so it’s not certain that we can’t have anything certain. We’re like people who insist on peering over the edge of a cliff; a few can look into the abyss below without losing their composure, but most people will feel dizzy and fall. The only thing we can do is take a quick look at the chaos our thoughts are built on, acknowledge that it is chaos and that, by nature, no theoretically solid ground is even conceivable, and then step back with the disgust, fear, and horror of someone who has been peering into their own insides.

Even Euclid cannot lay a demonstrable premise, he requires postulates and axioms which transcend demonstration and without which he can do nothing.  His superstructure is demonstration, his ground is faith.  And so his ultima ratio is to tell a man that he is a fool by saying “Which is absurd.”  If his opponent chooses to hold out in spite of this, Euclid can do no more.  Faith and authority are as necessary for him as for any one else.  True, he does not want us to believe very much; his yoke is tolerably easy, and he will not call a man a fool until he will have public opinion generally on his side; but none the less does he begin with dogmatism and end with persecution.

Even Euclid can't establish a proven premise; he needs postulates and axioms that go beyond proof, and without them, he can't accomplish anything. His structure is built on demonstration, but his foundation is faith. Thus, his *ultima ratio* is to tell someone they are foolish by stating, “Which is absurd.” If his opponent refuses to accept this, Euclid can't do anything more. Faith and authority are just as essential for him as for anyone else. Admittedly, he doesn’t expect us to believe in much; his demands are relatively light, and he won’t label someone a fool until he has widespread public support. Yet, he still starts with dogmatism and ends with persecution.

There is nothing one cannot wrangle about.  Sensible people will agree to a middle course founded upon a few general axioms and propositions about which, right or wrong, they will not think it worth while to wrangle for some time, and those who reject these can be put into mad-houses.  The middle way may be as full of hidden rocks as the other ways are of manifest ones, but it is the pleasantest while we can keep to it and the dangers, being hidden, are less alarming.

There’s nothing that can’t be debated. Reasonable people will settle on a balanced approach based on a few basic principles that, whether right or wrong, they won’t find worth arguing over for a while. Those who disagree with these can be sent to mental institutions. The middle ground might have just as many hidden dangers as the other paths have obvious ones, but it’s the most enjoyable as long as we can stick to it, and the risks, being unseen, feel less threatening.

In practice it is seldom very hard to do one’s duty when one knows what it is, but it is sometimes exceedingly difficult to find this out.  The difficulty is, however, often reducible into that of knowing what gives one pleasure, and this, though difficult, is a safer guide and more easily distinguished.  In all cases of doubt, the promptings of a kindly disposition are more trustworthy than the conclusions of logic, and sense is better than science.

In reality, it’s rarely too challenging to do what’s right when you know what that is, but figuring it out can often be really tough. The challenge, however, usually boils down to knowing what makes you happy, and while that's not easy, it's a more reliable guide and easier to recognize. In any situation of uncertainty, the encouragement of a good-hearted nature is more reliable than logical conclusions, and common sense is better than scientific reasoning.

Why I should have been at the pains to write such truisms I know not.

Why I bothered to write such obvious truths, I don't know.

p. 332XXI
Rebelliousness

God and Life

We regard these as two distinct things and say that the first made the second, much as, till lately, we regarded memory and heredity as two distinct things having less connection than even that supposed to exist between God and life.  Now, however, that we know heredity to be only a necessary outcome, development and manifestation of memory—so that, given such a faculty as memory, the faculty of heredity follows as being inherent therein and bound to issue from it—in like manner presently, instead of seeing life as a thing created by God, we shall see God and life as one thing, there being no life without God nor God without life, where there is life there is God and where there is God there is life.

We see these as two separate things and say that the first created the second, much like until recently, we viewed memory and heredity as two distinct things with less connection than the relationship thought to exist between God and life. Now, however, we understand heredity to be merely a necessary result, development, and expression of memory—so that, with the existence of memory, the ability of heredity emerges as an inherent quality and is bound to arise from it—in the same way, soon, instead of viewing life as something created by God, we will see God and life as one entity, with no life existing without God and no God existing without life; where there is life, there is God, and where there is God, there is life.

They say that God is love, but life and love are co-extensive; for hate is but a mode of love, as life and death lurk always in one another; and “God is life” is not far off saying “God is love.”  Again, they say, “Where there is life there is hope,” but hope is of the essence of God, for it is faith and hope that have underlain all evolution.

They say that God is love, but life and love go hand in hand; because hate is just another form of love, as life and death are always intertwined; and saying “God is life” is pretty much the same as saying “God is love.” Also, they say, “Where there is life, there is hope,” but hope is essential to God, as it is faith and hope that have supported all evolution.

God and Flesh

The course of true God never did run smooth.  God to be of any use must be made manifest, and he can only be made manifest in and through flesh.  And flesh to be of any use (except for eating) must be alive, and it can only be alive by being inspired of God.  The trouble lies in the getting the flesh and the God together in the right proportions.  There is lots of God and lots of flesh, but the flesh has always got too much God or too little, and the God has always too little flesh or too much.

The path to true God has never been easy. For God to be meaningful, He must be made known, and He can only be revealed in and through the physical form. And for the physical form to have any purpose (other than being consumed), it must be alive, and it can only be alive with God's inspiration. The challenge is in getting the physical and the divine to come together in the right balance. There’s plenty of God and plenty of physical form, but the physical often has either too much or too little of God, while God often has either too little or too much of the physical.

Gods and Prophets

It is the manner of gods and prophets to begin: “Thou shalt have none other God or Prophet but me.”  If I were to start as a god or a prophet, I think I should take the line:

It is the way of gods and prophets to start: “You shall have no other God or Prophet but me.” If I were to begin as a god or a prophet, I think I would take the approach:

“Thou shalt not believe in me.  Thou shalt not have me for a god.  Thou shalt worship any damned thing thou likest except me.”  This should be my first and great commandment, and my second should be like unto it. [333]

“You should not believe in me. You should not take me as your god. You can worship anything you want, except me.” This should be my first and greatest commandment, and my second should be similar to it. [333]

Faith and Reason

The instinct towards brushing faith aside and being strictly reasonable is strong and natural; so also is the instinct towards brushing logic and consistency on one side if they become troublesome, in other words—so is the instinct towards basing action on a faith which is beyond reason.  It is because both instincts are so natural that so many accept and so many reject Catholicism.  The two go along for some time as very good friends and then fight; sometimes one beats and sometimes the other, but they always make it up again and jog along as before, for they have a great respect for one another.

The urge to dismiss faith and stick purely to reason is strong and natural; so is the urge to set aside logic and consistency when they get difficult—basically, the urge to base actions on a faith that goes beyond reason. It's because both impulses are so instinctive that many people embrace Catholicism while others turn away from it. These two instincts often coexist peacefully for a while but then clash; sometimes one prevails, sometimes the other, but they always reconcile and continue as before, as they have a lot of respect for each other.

God and the Devil

God’s merits are so transcendent that it is not surprising his faults should be in reasonable proportion.  The faults are, indeed, on such a scale that, when looked at without relation to the merits with which they are interwoven, they become so appalling that people shrink from ascribing them to the Deity and have invented the Devil, without seeing that there would be more excuse for God’s killing the Devil, and so getting rid of evil, than there can be for his failing to be everything that he would like to be.

God’s qualities are so extraordinary that it’s not surprising his flaws should be somewhat balanced. These flaws are, in fact, so significant that when examined on their own, apart from the remarkable qualities they’re mixed with, they’re so shocking that people hesitate to attribute them to God. They’ve created the concept of the Devil, not realizing it might make more sense for God to eliminate the Devil and thus remove evil, rather than for him to not be everything he wishes to be.

For God is not so white as he is painted, and he gets on better with the Devil than people think.  The Devil is too useful for him to wish him ill and, in like manner, half the Devil’s trade would be at an end should any great mishap bring God well down in the world.  For all the mouths they make at one another they play into each other’s hands and have got on so well as partners, playing Spenlow and Jorkins to one another, for so many years that there seems no reason why they should cease to do so.  The conception of them as the one absolutely void of evil and the other of good is a vulgar notion taken from science whose priests have ever sought to get every idea and every substance pure of all alloy.

For God isn't as simple as he's often portrayed, and he actually has a better relationship with the Devil than most people realize. The Devil is too valuable for him to want to see him fail, and similarly, a big setback for God would put a huge dent in the Devil's operations. Despite their apparent conflict, they actually complement each other and have partnered so well over the years, like Spenlow and Jorkins, that there seems to be no reason for that partnership to end. The idea that one is completely good and the other completely evil is a common misconception rooted in a scientific view that has always tried to portray every idea and entity as entirely pure.

God and the Devil are about as four to three.  There is enough preponderance of God to make it far safer to be on his side than on the Devil’s, but the excess is not so great as his professional claqueurs pretend it is.  It is like gambling at Monte Carlo; if you play long enough you are sure to lose, but now and again you may win a great deal of excellent money if you will only cease playing the moment you have won it.

God and the Devil are roughly balanced, with God having a slight edge. It's definitely safer to be on God's side than the Devil's, but the difference isn't as huge as his die-hard supporters would have you believe. It's like playing at Monte Carlo; if you gamble long enough, you’re bound to lose, but now and then you might win a substantial amount if you just stop playing the moment you hit the jackpot.

Christianity

i

As an instrument of warfare against vice, or as a tool for making virtue, Christianity is a mere flint implement.

As a weapon against wrongdoing, or as a way to cultivate goodness, Christianity is just a basic stone tool.

ii

Christianity is a woman’s religion, invented by women and womanish men for themselves.  The Church’s one foundation is not Christ, as is commonly said, it is woman; and calling the Madonna the Queen of Heaven is only a poetical way of acknowledging that women are the main support of the priests.

Christianity is a woman’s religion, created by women and sensitive men for themselves. The Church’s true foundation isn’t Christ, as many claim; it’s women. Referring to the Madonna as the Queen of Heaven is just a poetic way of recognizing that women are the main support of the clergy.

iii

It is not the church in a village that is the source of the mischief, but the rectory.  I would not touch a church from one end of England to the other.

It’s not the church in a village that causes the trouble, but the rectory. I wouldn’t go near a church from one end of England to the other.

iv

Christianity is only seriously pretended by some among the idle, bourgeois middle-classes.  The working classes and the most cultured intelligence of the time reach by short cuts what the highways of our schools and universities mislead us from by many a winding bout, if they do not prevent our ever reaching it.

Christianity is only genuinely embraced by a few in the idle, middle-class. The working class and the most educated people of the time find quicker paths to understanding what the long, winding routes of our schools and universities often lead us away from, if they don’t keep us from it altogether.

v

It is not easy to say which is the more obvious, the antecedent improbability of the Christian scheme and miracles, or the breakdown of the evidences on which these are supposed to rest.  And yet Christianity has overrun the world.

It’s hard to determine what’s more apparent: the unlikely nature of the Christian beliefs and miracles or the failure of the evidence that’s expected to support them. And yet, Christianity has spread across the globe.

vi

If there is any moral in Christianity, if there is anything to be learned from it, if the whole story is not profitless from first to last, it comes to this that a man should back his own opinion against the world’s—and this is a very risky and immoral thing to do, but the Lord hath mercy on whom he will have mercy.

If there's any lesson in Christianity, if there's anything to take away from it, if the whole story isn't completely without value, it boils down to this: a person should stand up for their own beliefs against the majority—and this is a very risky and questionable thing to do, but the Lord shows mercy to whom He chooses.

vii

Christianity is true in so far as it has fostered beauty and false in so far as it has fostered ugliness.  It is therefore not a little true and not a little false.

Christianity is true to the extent that it has encouraged beauty and false to the extent that it has promoted ugliness. So, it is not entirely true and not entirely false.

viii

Christ said he came not to destroy but to fulfil—but he destroyed more than he fulfilled.  Every system that is to live must both destroy and fulfil.

Christ said he came not to destroy but to fulfill—but he ended up destroying more than he fulfilled. Every system that wants to survive must both destroy and fulfill.

Miracles

They do more to unsettle faith in the existing order than to settle it in any other; similarly, missionaries are more valuable as underminers of old faiths than as propagators of new.  Miracles are not impossible; nothing is impossible till we have got an incontrovertible first premise.  The question is not “Are the Christian miracles possible?” but “Are they convenient?  Do they fit comfortably with our other ideas?”

They do more to shake people's faith in the current system than to establish it in any other; similarly, missionaries are more effective at challenging old beliefs than at spreading new ones. Miracles aren’t impossible; nothing is impossible until we have a solid starting point. The question isn’t “Are Christian miracles possible?” but “Are they convenient? Do they align well with our other ideas?”

Wants and Creeds

As in the organic world there is no organ, so in the world of thought there is no thought, which may not be called into existence by long persistent effort.  If a man wants either to believe or disbelieve the Christian miracles he can do so if he tries hard enough; but if he does not care whether he believes or disbelieves and simply wants to find out which side has the best of it, this he will find a more difficult matter.  Nevertheless he will probably be able to do this too if he tries.

As in the natural world there’s no organ, in the realm of thought, there’s no idea that can’t be brought to life through consistent effort. If a person wants to either believe or disbelieve in the Christian miracles, they can achieve that if they really put in the effort; but if they are indifferent about believing or disbelieving and just want to figure out which perspective is more convincing, that will be a tougher challenge. Still, they will likely be able to do this too if they put in the necessary work.

Faith

i

The reason why the early Christians held faith in such account was because they felt it to be a feat of such superhuman difficulty.

The reason the early Christians believed this story was because they saw it as an incredible challenge that was beyond human ability.

ii

You can do very little with faith, but you can do nothing without it.

You can accomplish very little with faith, but you can’t do anything without it.

iii

We are all agreed that too much faith is as bad as too little, and too little as bad as too much; but we differ as to what is too much and what too little.

We all agree that having too much faith is just as bad as having too little, and having too little is just as bad as having too much; but we disagree on what qualifies as too much and what counts as too little.

iv

It is because both Catholics and myself make faith, not reason, the basis of our system that I am able to be easy in mind about not becoming a Catholic.  Not that I ever wanted to become a Catholic, but I mean I believe I can beat them with their own weapons.

It’s because both Catholics and I base our beliefs on faith rather than reason that I feel comfortable not becoming a Catholic. Not that I ever wanted to be one, but I believe I can outsmart them using their own arguments.

v

A man may have faith as a mountain, but he will not be able to say to a grain of mustard seed: “Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea”—not at least with any effect upon the mustard seed—unless he goes the right way to work by putting the mustard seed into his pocket and taking the train to Brighton.

A man can have faith as strong as a mountain, but he won't be able to say to a grain of mustard seed: “Get out of here and throw yourself into the sea”—at least not in a way that affects the mustard seed—unless he goes about it the right way by putting the mustard seed in his pocket and taking the train to Brighton.

vi

The just live by faith, but they not infrequently also die by it.

The righteous live by faith, but they often die by it, too.

The Cuckoo and the Moon

The difference between the Christian and the Mahomedan is only as the difference between one who will turn his money when he first hears the cuckoo, but thinks it folly to do so on seeing the new moon, and one who will turn it religiously at the new moon, but will scout the notion that he need do so on hearing the cuckoo.

The difference between Christians and Muslims is like the difference between someone who decides to turn their money at the first sound of the cuckoo but thinks it’s silly to do so when they see the new moon, and someone who will turn it with dedication during the new moon, but finds the idea of doing it at the sound of the cuckoo ridiculous.

Buddhism

This seems to be a jumble of Christianity and Life and Habit.

This seems to be a mix of Christianity and Life and Habit.

Theist and Atheist

The fight between them is as to whether God shall be called God or shall have some other name.

The argument between them is about whether God should be called God or if He should have a different name.

The Peculiar People

The only people in England who really believe in God are the Peculiar People.  Perhaps that is why they are called peculiar.  See how belief in an anthropomorphic God divides allegiance and disturbs civil order as soon as it becomes vital.

The only people in England who truly believe in God are the Peculiar People. Maybe that’s why they’re called peculiar. Notice how belief in a human-like God splits loyalty and disrupts social order as soon as it becomes important.

Renan

There is an article on him in the Times, April 30, 1883, of the worst Times kind, and that is saying much.  It appears he whines about his lost faith and professes to wish that he could believe as he believed when young.  No sincere man will regret having attained a truer view concerning anything which he has ever believed.  And then he talks about the difficulties of coming to disbelieve the Christian miracles as though it were a great intellectual feat.  This is very childish.  I hope no one will say I was sorry when I found out that there was no reason for believing in heaven and hell.  My contempt for Renan has no limits.  (Has he an accent to his name?  I despise him too much to find out.)

There’s an article about him in the Times, April 30, 1883, and it’s the worst kind of Times article, which says a lot. It seems he complains about his lost faith and says he wishes he could believe like he did when he was younger. No honest person should regret gaining a clearer understanding of anything they have ever believed. Then he goes on about how hard it is to stop believing in the Christian miracles, as if it’s some impressive intellectual achievement. This is really childish. I hope no one says I was sorry when I realized there’s no reason to believe in heaven and hell. My disdain for Renan knows no bounds. (Does his name have an accent? I care too little to find out.)

The Spiritual Treadmill

The Church of England has something in her liturgy of the spiritual treadmill.  It is a very nice treadmill no doubt, but Sunday after Sunday we keep step with the same old “We have left undone that which we ought to have done; And we have done those things which we ought not to have done” without making any progress.  With the Church of Rome, I understand that those whose piety is sufficiently approved are told they may consider themselves as a finished article and that, except on some few rare festivals, they need no longer keep on going to church and confessing.  The picture is completed and may be framed, glazed and hung up.

The Church of England has a bit of a spiritual treadmill in its liturgy. It's a pretty nice treadmill, for sure, but week after week we repeat the same old "We have left undone what we ought to have done; and we have done those things we shouldn't have done" without really making any progress. With the Catholic Church, I understand that those who are deemed pious enough are told they can see themselves as a finished product and, except for a few special occasions, they don't need to keep going to church and confessing. The picture is complete and can be framed, glazed, and hung up.

The Dim Religious Light

A light cannot be religious if it is not dim.  Religion belongs to the twilight of our thoughts, just as business of all kinds to their full daylight.  So a picture which may be impressive while seen in a dark light will not hold its own in a bright one.

A light can't be spiritual if it's not faint. Spirituality belongs to the shadows of our minds, just like business pertains to their full brightness. So, an image that may be striking in a dim setting won’t stand out in bright light.

The Greeks and Romans did not enquire into the evidences on which their belief that Minerva sprang full-armed from the brain of Jupiter was based.  If they had written books of evidences to show how certainly it all happened, &c.—well, I suppose if they had had an endowed Church with some considerable prizes, they would have found means to hoodwink the public.

The Greeks and Romans didn't investigate the evidence behind their belief that Minerva was born fully armed from Jupiter's head. If they had written books to prove how definitely it all happened, etc.—well, I guess if they had an established Church with some substantial rewards, they would have figured out how to deceive the public.

The Peace that Passeth Understanding

Yes.  But as there is a peace more comfortable than any understanding, so also there is an understanding more covetable than any peace.

Yes. But just as there is a peace that feels more comfortable than any agreement, there is also an understanding that is more desirable than any peace.

The New Testament

If it is a testamentary disposition at all, it is so drawn that it has given rise to incessant litigation during the last nearly two thousand years and seems likely to continue doing so for a good many years longer.  It ought never to have been admitted to probate.  Either the testator drew it himself, in which case we have another example of the folly of trying to make one’s own will, or if he left it to the authors of the several books—this is like employing many lawyers to do the work of one.

If it’s a will at all, it’s written in a way that has led to endless lawsuits for almost two thousand years and looks likely to keep causing issues for many more years. It should never have been approved for probate. Either the person who made the will wrote it themselves, in which case it’s another example of the foolishness of trying to draft your own will, or they left it to the writers of various books—this is like hiring many lawyers to do the job of one.

Christ and the L. & N.W. Railway

Admitting for the moment that Christ can be said to have died for me in any sense, it is only pretended that he did so in the same sort of way as the London and North Western Railway was made for me.  Granted that I am very glad the railway was made and use it when I find it convenient, I do not suppose that those who projected and made the line allowed me to enter into their thoughts; the debt of my gratitude is divided among so many that the amount due from each one is practically nil.

Admitting for now that Christ might be said to have died for me in any way, it is only a pretense that he did so in the same way the London and North Western Railway was built for me. Sure, I'm really glad the railway was created and I use it when it's convenient for me, but I don't think those who planned and built the line considered my needs; the gratitude I feel is spread so thin among so many that the amount owed by each individual is basically nothing.

The Jumping Cat

God is only a less jumping kind of jumping cat; and those who worship God are still worshippers of the jumping cat all the time.  There is no getting away from the jumping cat—if I climb up into heaven, it is there; if I go down to hell, it is there also; if I take the wings of the morning and remain in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there, and so on; it is about my path and about my bed and spieth out all my ways.  It is the eternal underlying verity or the eternal underlying lie, as people may choose to call it.

God is just a less energetic version of a jumping cat; and those who worship God are still worshipers of the jumping cat all the time. There's no escaping the jumping cat—if I climb up to heaven, it's there; if I go down to hell, it's there too; if I take the wings of the morning and settle in the farthest parts of the sea, it’s still there; it’s all around my path and my bed and knows all my ways. It is the eternal truth or the eternal falsehood, depending on how people want to see it.

Personified Science

Science is being daily more and more personified and anthropomorphised into a god.  By and by they will say that science took our nature upon him, and sent down his only begotten son, Charles Darwin, or Huxley, into the world so that those who believe in him, &c.; and they will burn people for saying that science, after all, is only an expression for our ignorance of our own ignorance.

Science is increasingly being treated like a god. Soon they'll claim that science took on human form and sent down its only son, Charles Darwin, or Huxley, into the world so that those who believe in him, etc.; and they will persecute people for saying that science, after all, is just a reflection of our ignorance about our own ignorance.

Science and Theology

We should endow neither; we should treat them as we treat conservatism and liberalism, encouraging both, so that they may keep watch upon one another, and letting them go in and out of power with the popular vote concerning them.

We shouldn't favor either; we should handle them like we do conservatism and liberalism, supporting both so they can keep an eye on each other, and allowing them to take turns in power based on the people's vote.

The world is better carried on upon the barrister principle of special pleading upon two sides before an impartial ignorant tribunal, to whom things have got to be explained, than it would be if nobody were to maintain any opinion in which he did not personally believe.

The world is better off functioning on the lawyer's principle of special pleading from both sides before an unbiased, uninformed court, where things need to be explained, than it would be if no one held any opinion they didn't personally believe in.

What we want is to reconcile both science and theology with sincerity and good breeding, to make our experts understand that they are nothing if they are not single-minded and urbane.  Get them to understand this, and there will be no difficulty about reconciling science and theology.

What we want is to bring together both science and theology with sincerity and good manners, making our experts realize that they’re nothing if they aren’t focused and well-mannered. Get them to see this, and there won’t be any issue reconciling science and theology.

The Church and the Supernatural

If we saw the Church wishing to back out of the supernatural and anxious to explain it away where possible, we would keep our disbelief in the supernatural in the background, as far as we could, and would explain away our rejection of the miracles, as far as was decent; furthermore we would approximate our language to theirs wherever possible, and insist on the points on which we are all agreed, rather than on points of difference; in fact, we would meet them half way and be only too glad to do it.  I maintain that in my books I actually do this as much as is possible, but I shall try and do it still more.  As a matter of fact, however, the Church clings to the miraculous element of Christianity more fondly than ever; she parades it more and more, and shows no sign of wishing to give up even the smallest part of it.  It is this which makes us despair of being able to do anything with her and feel that either she or we must go.

If we saw the Church trying to distance itself from the supernatural and eager to explain it away whenever possible, we would keep our skepticism about the supernatural in check as much as we could and would rationalize our rejection of the miracles as decently as possible; furthermore, we would align our language with theirs wherever we could and focus on the areas of agreement rather than the differences; in fact, we would be willing to meet them halfway and would be glad to do so. I believe that in my books, I actually do this as much as I can, but I will strive to do it even more. However, the truth is that the Church clings to the miraculous aspect of Christianity more passionately than ever; she showcases it increasingly and shows no sign of wanting to give up even the slightest part of it. This is what makes us lose hope of being able to do anything with her and feel that either she or we must go.

Gratitude and Revenge

Gratitude is as much an evil to be minimised as revenge is.  Justice, our law and our law courts are for the taming and regulating of revenge.  Current prices and markets and commercial regulations are for the taming of gratitude and its reduction from a public nuisance to something which shall at least be tolerable.  Revenge and gratitude are correlative terms.  Our system of commerce is a protest against the unbridled licence of gratitude.  Gratitude, in fact, like revenge, is a mistake unless under certain securities.

Gratitude is just as much an issue to be minimized as revenge is. Justice, our legal system, and our courts exist to control and manage revenge. Today's prices, markets, and business regulations are meant to keep gratitude in check and reduce it from a public nuisance to something that is at least acceptable. Revenge and gratitude are closely related concepts. Our commercial system serves as a counter to the unchecked nature of gratitude. In reality, gratitude, much like revenge, is a problem unless it comes with certain guarantees.

Cant and Hypocrisy

We should organise a legitimate channel for instincts so profound as these, just as we have found it necessary to do with lust and revenge by the institutions of marriage and the law courts.  This is the raison d’être of the church.  You kill a man just as much whether you murder him or hang him after the formalities of a trial.  And so with lust and marriage, mutatis mutandis.  So again with the professions of religion and medicine.  You swindle a man as much when you sell him a drug of whose action you are ignorant, and tell him it will protect him from disease, as when you give him a bit of bread, which you assure him is the body of Jesus Christ, and then send a plate round for a subscription.  You swindle him as much by these acts as if you picked his pocket, or obtained money from him under false pretences in any other way; but you swindle him according to the rules and in an authorised way.

We need to establish a proper outlet for instincts as powerful as these, just like we've done for lust and revenge through marriage and the legal system. This is the raison d’être of the church. Killing someone is the same whether you murder him or execute him after going through the formalities of a trial. The same applies to lust and marriage, mutatis mutandis. This also goes for the fields of religion and medicine. You're scamming someone just as much when you sell him a drug that you know nothing about and claim it will keep him safe from illness, as when you give him a piece of bread and insist it's the body of Jesus Christ, then pass around a plate for donations. You're conning him just as much with these actions as if you were pickpocketing him or getting money from him under false pretenses, but you're doing it according to the rules and in an approved way.

Real Blasphemy

On one of our Sunday walks near London we passed a forlorn and dilapidated Primitive Methodist Chapel.  The windows were a good deal broken and there was a notice up offering 10/- reward to any one who should give such information as should lead to the, &c.  Cut in stone over the door was this inscription, and we thought it as good an example of real blasphemy as we had ever seen:

On one of our Sunday walks near London, we passed a lonely and run-down Primitive Methodist Chapel. The windows were mostly broken, and there was a notice offering a £10 reward to anyone who could provide information leading to the, etc. Carved in stone above the door was this inscription, and we thought it was one of the most blatant examples of real blasphemy we had ever seen:

When God makes up his last account
Of holy children in his mount,
’Twill be an honour to appear
As one new born and nourished here.

When God prepares his final account
Of holy children on his mountain,
It’ll be an honor to show up
As one newly born and nurtured here.

The English Church Abroad

People say you must not try to abolish Christianity until you have something better to put in its place.  They might as well say we must not take away turnpikes and corn laws till we have some other hindrances to put in their place.  Besides no one wants to abolish Christianity—all we want is not to be snubbed and bullied if we reject the miraculous part of it for ourselves.

People say you shouldn't try to get rid of Christianity until you have something better to replace it. They might as well say we shouldn't remove toll roads and corn laws until we have other obstacles to put in their place. Besides, no one wants to eliminate Christianity—all we want is not to be looked down on and pushed around if we choose to reject the miraculous aspects for ourselves.

At Biella an English clergyman asked if I was a Roman Catholic.  I said, quite civilly, that I was not a Catholic.

At Biella, an English clergy member asked if I was a Roman Catholic. I politely replied that I was not a Catholic.

He replied that he had asked me not if I was a Catholic but if I was a Roman Catholic.  What was I?  Was I an Anglican Catholic?  So, seeing that he meant to argue, I replied:

He replied that he had asked me not if I was a Catholic but if I was a Roman Catholic. What was I? Was I an Anglican Catholic? So, realizing he wanted to argue, I replied:

“I do not know.  I am a Londoner and of the same religion as people generally are in London.”

“I don’t know. I’m from London and share the same religion as most people do in London.”

This made him angry.  He snorted:

This made him mad. He snorted:

“Oh, that’s nothing at all;” and almost immediately left the table.

“Oh, that’s no big deal;” and almost immediately left the table.

As much as possible I keep away from English-frequented hotels in Italy and Switzerland because I find that if I do not go to service on Sunday I am made uncomfortable.  It is this bullying that I want to do away with.  As regards Christianity I should hope and think that I am more Christian than not.

As much as I can, I avoid English-popular hotels in Italy and Switzerland because I've noticed that if I don't attend church on Sunday, I feel out of place. It's this pressure that I want to eliminate. When it comes to Christianity, I believe and hope that I am more Christian than not.

People ought to be allowed to leave their cards at church, instead of going inside.  I have half a mind to try this next time I am in a foreign hotel among English people.

People should be allowed to leave their cards at church instead of going inside. I’m half tempted to try this the next time I’m in a foreign hotel with English people.

Drunkenness

When we were at Shrewsbury the other day, coming up the Abbey Foregate, we met a funeral and debated whether or not to take our hats off.  We always do in Italy, that is to say in the country and in villages and small towns, but we have been told that it is not the custom to do so in large towns and in cities, which raises a question as to the exact figure that should be reached by the population of a place before one need not take off one’s hat to a funeral in one of its streets.  At Shrewsbury seeing no one doing it we thought it might look singular and kept ours on.  My friend Mr. Phillips, the tailor, was in one carriage, I did not see him, but he saw me and afterwards told me he had pointed me out to a clergyman who was in the carriage with him.

When we were in Shrewsbury the other day, walking up the Abbey Foregate, we came across a funeral and debated whether or not to take our hats off. We always do this in Italy, especially in the countryside, villages, and small towns, but we’ve been told that it’s not the custom to do so in large towns and cities. This raises the question of how big a place has to be for people not to take off their hats for a funeral in its streets. In Shrewsbury, seeing no one else doing it, we thought it might look odd and kept our hats on. My friend Mr. Phillips, the tailor, was in one carriage; I didn’t see him, but he saw me and later told me he had pointed me out to a clergyman who was with him.

“Oh,” said the clergyman, “then that’s the man who says England owes all her greatness to intoxication.”

“Oh,” said the clergyman, “so that’s the guy who claims England owes all its greatness to drinking.”

This is rather a free translation of what I did say; but it only shows how impossible it is to please those who do not wish to be pleased.  Tennyson may talk about the slow sad hours that bring us all things ill and all good things from evil, because this is vague and indefinite; but I may not say that, in spite of the terrible consequences of drunkenness, man’s intellectual development would not have reached its present stage without the stimulus of alcohol—which I believe to be both perfectly true and pretty generally admitted—because this is definite.  I do not think I said more than this and am sure that no one can detest drunkenness more than I do. [343]  It seems to me it will be wiser in me not to try to make headway at Shrewsbury.

This is more of a loose translation of what I actually said, but it only illustrates how impossible it is to satisfy those who don’t want to be satisfied. Tennyson can talk about the slow, sad hours that bring us bad and good things from evil because that’s vague and unclear; but I can’t say that, despite the awful effects of alcoholism, human intellectual growth wouldn’t have reached its current level without the influence of alcohol—which I believe is both completely true and widely accepted—because that is specific. I don’t think I said more than this, and I’m sure that no one hates drunkenness more than I do. [343] I think it’s wiser for me not to try to make progress at Shrewsbury.

Hell-Fire

If Vesuvius does not frighten those who live under it, is it likely that Hell-fire should frighten any reasonable person?

If Vesuvius doesn't scare the people living beneath it, is it really likely that Hellfire would scare any reasonable person?

I met a traveller who had returned from Hades where he had conversed with Tantalus and with others of the shades.  They all agreed that for the first six, or perhaps twelve, months they disliked their punishment very much; but after that, it was like shelling peas on a hot afternoon in July.  They began by discovering (no doubt long after the fact had been apparent enough to every one else) that they had not been noticing what they were doing so much as usual, and that they had been even thinking of something else.  From this moment, the automatic stage of action having set in, the progress towards always thinking of something else was rapid and they soon forgot that they were undergoing any punishment.

I met a traveler who had just come back from Hades, where he had talked to Tantalus and some other spirits. They all agreed that for the first six, or maybe twelve, months, they really hated their punishment. But after that, it felt like just shelling peas on a hot July afternoon. They started to realize (probably long after everyone else had) that they weren’t paying attention to what they were doing as much as they usually did, and that they had even been thinking about something else. Once this moment happened, and they fell into this automatic way of acting, the shift to always thinking about something else happened quickly, and soon they forgot they were being punished.

Tantalus did get a little something not infrequently; water stuck to the hairs of his body and he gathered it up in his hand; he also got many an apple when the wind was napping as it had to do sometimes.  Perhaps he could have done with more, but he got enough to keep him going quite comfortably.  His sufferings were nothing as compared with those of a needy heir to a fortune whose father, or whoever it may be, catches a dangerous bronchitis every winter but invariably recovers and lives to 91, while the heir survives him a month having been worn out with long expectation.

Tantalus did get a little something now and then; water stuck to the hairs on his body and he scooped it up in his hand; he also managed to grab quite a few apples when the wind was calm, which it was sometimes. Maybe he could have used more, but he had enough to keep him going pretty comfortably. His suffering was nothing compared to that of a needy heir waiting for a fortune, whose father—whoever that may be—gets a bad case of bronchitis every winter but always pulls through and lives to 91, while the heir only lasts a month after him, completely worn out from waiting.

Sisyphus had never found any pleasure in life comparable to the delight of seeing his stone bound down-hill, and in so timing its rush as to inflict the greatest possible scare on any unwary shade who might be wandering below.  He got so great and such varied amusement out of this that his labour had become the automatism of reflex action—which is, I understand, the name applied by men of science to all actions that are done without reflection.  He was a pompous, ponderous old gentleman, very irritable and always thinking that the other shades were laughing at him or trying to take advantage of him.  There were two, however, whom he hated with a fury that tormented him far more seriously than anything else ever did.  The first of these was Archimedes who had instituted a series of experiments in regard to various questions connected with mechanics and had conceived a scheme by which he hoped to utilise the motive power of the stone for the purpose of lighting Hades with electricity.  The other was Agamemnon, who took good care to keep out of the stone’s way when it was more than a quarter of the distance up the slope, but who delighted in teasing Sisyphus so long as he considered it safe to do so.  Many of the other shades took daily pleasure in gathering together about stone-time to enjoy the fun and to bet on how far the stone would roll.

Sisyphus had never found any joy in life that matched the thrill of watching his stone tumble down the hill and timing its rush to scare any unsuspecting spirit wandering below. He found so much varied amusement in this that his labor became like a reflex action, which, as I understand, is what scientists call actions done without thinking. He was a pompous, heavyset old man, very irritable, always feeling that the other spirits were laughing at him or trying to take advantage of him. However, there were two that he hated with a fury that tormented him more than anything else ever could. The first was Archimedes, who had started a series of experiments related to mechanics and thought up a plan to use the stone's movement to light up Hades with electricity. The other was Agamemnon, who made sure to stay out of the stone’s path when it was more than a quarter of the way up the slope but loved to tease Sisyphus as long as he thought it was safe to do so. Many of the other spirits enjoyed gathering around during stone-time to watch the fun and bet on how far the stone would roll.

As for Tityus—what is a bird more or less on a body that covers nine acres?  He found the vultures a gentle stimulant to the liver without which it would have become congested.

As for Tityus—what's a bird in relation to a body that spans nine acres? He discovered that the vultures provided a mild boost to the liver, which would otherwise have become overloaded.

Sir Isaac Newton was intensely interested in the hygrometric and barometric proceedings of the Danaids.

Sir Isaac Newton was very interested in the moisture and pressure measurements of the Danaids.

“At any rate,” said one of them to my informant, “if we really are being punished, for goodness’ sake don’t say anything about it or we may be put to other work.  You see, we must be doing something, and now we know how to do this, we don’t want the bother of learning something new.  You may be right, but we have not got to make our living by it, and what in the name of reason can it matter whether the sieves ever get full or not?”

“At any rate,” one of them said to my informant, “if we really are being punished, for goodness’ sake don’t say anything about it or we might be assigned to different tasks. You see, we need to be doing something, and now that we’ve figured this out, we don’t want the hassle of learning something new. You might be right, but we don’t have to rely on it for our livelihood, and what does it really matter if the sieves ever get full or not?”

My traveller reported much the same with regard to the eternal happiness on Mount Olympus.  Hercules found Hebe a fool and could never get her off his everlasting knee.  He would have sold his soul to find another Ægisthus.

My traveler reported pretty much the same thing about the never-ending happiness on Mount Olympus. Hercules thought Hebe was foolish and could never get her off his lap. He would have sold his soul to find another Ægisthus.

So Jove saw all this and it set him thinking.

So Jove saw all this, and it made him think.

“It seems to me,” said he, “that Olympus and Hades are both failures.”

“It seems to me,” he said, “that Olympus and Hades are both disappointments.”

Then he summoned a council and the whole matter was thoroughly discussed.  In the end Jove abdicated, and the gods came down from Olympus and assumed mortality.  They had some years of very enjoyable Bohemian existence going about as a company of strolling players at French and Belgian town fairs; after which they died in the usual way, having discovered at last that it does not matter how high up or how low down you are, that happiness and misery are not absolute but depend on the direction in which you are tending and consist in a progression towards better or worse, and that pleasure, like pain and like everything that grows, holds in perfection but a little moment.

Then he called a meeting, and they discussed everything thoroughly. In the end, Jove stepped down, and the gods came down from Olympus and took on human form. They spent several years enjoying a free-spirited life, traveling around as a troupe of performers at fairs in France and Belgium; after which, they died in the usual way, having finally realized that it doesn't matter how high or low you are, that happiness and misery aren’t absolute but depend on the path you're on, consisting of a journey toward better or worse outcomes, and that pleasure, like pain and everything that evolves, only lasts for a brief moment in its fullest form.

p. 346XXII
Reconciliation

Religion

By religion I mean a living sense that man proposes and God disposes, that we must watch and pray that we enter not into temptation, that he who thinketh he standeth must take heed lest he fall, and the countless other like elementary maxims which a man must hold as he holds life itself if he is to be a man at all.

By religion, I mean a vibrant understanding that we make plans but God decides, that we need to stay alert and pray so we don’t give in to temptation, that anyone who thinks they’re secure should be careful not to stumble, and all the many other basic principles that a person must embrace as they do life itself if they want to truly be a person.

If religion, then, is to be formulated and made tangible to the people, it can only be by means of symbols, counters and analogies, more or less misleading, for no man professes to have got to the root of the matter and to have seen the eternal underlying verity face to face—and even though he could see it he could not grip it and hold it and convey it to another who has not.  Therefore either these feelings must be left altogether unexpressed and, if unexpressed, then soon undeveloped and atrophied, or they must be expressed by the help of images or idols—by the help of something not more actually true than a child’s doll is to a child, but yet helpful to our weakness of understanding, as the doll no doubt gratifies and stimulates the motherly instinct in the child.

If religion is to be explained and made real for people, it can only be done through symbols, tokens, and comparisons, which can be somewhat misleading. No one claims to fully understand the truth of the matter or to have seen the eternal reality directly—and even if they could see it, they wouldn't be able to grasp it or share it with someone who hasn’t. So, either these feelings must remain completely unexpressed, and if unexpressed, they will soon fade and weaken, or they will need to be communicated through images or representations—something that is no more genuinely true than a child's doll is to a child, but still serves to support our limited understanding, just as the doll likely satisfies and nurtures the maternal instinct in the child.

Therefore we ought not to cavil at the visible superstition and absurdity of much on which religion is made to rest, for the unknown can never be satisfactorily rendered into the known.  To get the known from the unknown is to get something out of nothing, a thing which, though it is being done daily in every fraction of every second everywhere, is logically impossible of conception, and we can only think by logic, for what is not in logic is not in thought.  So that the attempt to symbolise the unknown is certain to involve inconsistencies and absurdities of all kinds and it is childish to complain of their existence unless one is prepared to advocate the stifling of all religious sentiment, and this is like trying to stifle hunger or thirst.  To be at all is to be religious more or less.  There never was any man who did not feel that behind this world and above it and about it there is an unseen world greater and more incomprehensible than anything he can conceive, and this feeling, so profound and so universal, needs expression.  If expressed it can only be so by the help of inconsistencies and errors.  These, then, are not to be ordered impatiently out of court; they have grown up as the best guesses at truth that could be made at any given time, but they must become more or less obsolete as our knowledge of truth is enlarged.  Things become known which were formerly unknown and, though this brings us no nearer to ultimate universal truth, yet it shows us that many of our guesses were wrong.  Everything that catches on to realism and naturalism as much as Christianity does must be affected by any profound modification in our views of realism and naturalism.

So, we shouldn't nitpick the obvious superstitions and absurdities that much of religion is built on, because the unknown can never truly be fully understood or explained in terms of the known. Turning the unknown into the known is like trying to make something out of nothing, which, although it happens all the time in every moment everywhere, is logically impossible to grasp. We can only think logically because anything outside of logic isn't part of our thoughts. Therefore, the effort to represent the unknown will inevitably lead to all kinds of inconsistencies and absurdities, and it’s naive to complain about their existence unless you're prepared to suppress all religious feelings, which is like trying to suppress hunger or thirst. To exist at all is to have some level of religiosity. No one has ever lived who didn't sense that there is an unseen world behind, above, and around this one, a world greater and more unfathomable than anything they can imagine, and this deep, universal feeling needs to be expressed. When it is expressed, it can only be done through inconsistencies and mistakes. These inconsistencies and mistakes shouldn't be hastily dismissed; they have emerged as the best attempts at truth made at specific times, but they should eventually become less relevant as our understanding of truth expands. New truths are discovered that were once unknown, and while this doesn’t necessarily bring us closer to the ultimate universal truth, it does demonstrate that many of our earlier assumptions were incorrect. Anything that adheres to realism and naturalism, as much as Christianity does, will be influenced by any significant changes in our perspectives on realism and naturalism.

God and Convenience

I do not know or care whether the expression “God” has scientific accuracy or no, nor yet whether it has theological value; I know nothing either of one or the other, beyond looking upon the recognised exponents both of science and theology with equal distrust; but for convenience, I am sure that there is nothing like it—I mean for convenience of getting quickly at the right or wrong of a matter.  While you are fumbling away with your political economy or your biblical precepts to know whether you shall let old Mrs. So-and-so have 5/- or no, another, who has just asked himself which would be most well-pleasing in the sight of God, will be told in a moment that he should give her—or not give her—the 5/-.  As a general rule she had better have the 5/- at once, but sometimes we must give God to understand that, though we should he very glad to do what he would have of us if we reasonably could, yet the present is one of those occasions on which we must decline to do so.

I don’t know or care if the term “God” is scientifically accurate or if it has any theological significance; I’m not informed on either front, and I view the main representatives of both science and theology with equal skepticism. However, for practicality, I believe there’s nothing quite like it for quickly figuring out what’s right or wrong in a situation. While you’re busy wrestling with your political theories or your biblical teachings to decide whether to give old Mrs. So-and-so £5 or not, someone else who simply asks themselves what would please God can quickly be informed whether to give her the £5 or not. Generally, it’s better to just give her the £5 right away, but sometimes we need to make it clear to God that, even though we’d love to do what He wants us to do if we reasonably could, this is one of those times where we have to pass.

The World

Even the world, so mondain as it is, still holds instinctively and as a matter of faith unquestionable that those who have died by the altar are worthier than those who have lived by it, when to die was duty.

Even the world, as worldly as it is, still instinctively and faithfully believes that those who have died at the altar are worthier than those who have lived by it, especially when dying was a duty.

Blasphemy

I begin to understand now what Christ meant when he said that blasphemy against the Holy Ghost was unforgiveable, while speaking against the Son of Man might be forgiven.  He must have meant that a man may be pardoned for being unable to believe in the Christian mythology, but that if he made light of that spirit which the common conscience of all men, whatever their particular creed, recognises as divine, there was no hope for him.  No more there is.

I’m starting to get what Christ meant when he said that blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is unforgivable, while speaking against the Son of Man can be forgiven. He must have meant that a person can be forgiven for doubting the Christian story, but if they dismiss that spirit which the shared conscience of everyone, regardless of their specific beliefs, recognizes as divine, then there’s no hope for them. And there still isn't.

Gaining One’s Point

It is not he who gains the exact point in dispute who scores most in controversy, but he who has shown the most forbearance and the better temper.

It’s not the person who wins the specific argument who comes out ahead in a debate, but rather the one who demonstrates the most patience and a better attitude.

The Voice of Common Sense

It is this, and not the Voice of the Lord, which maketh men to be of one mind in an house.  But then, the Voice of the Lord is the voice of common sense which is shared by all that is.

It’s this, not the Voice of the Lord, that brings people together in a household. But still, the Voice of the Lord represents the common sense that everyone understands.

Amendes Honorables

There is hardly an offence so great but if it be frankly apologised for it is easily both forgiven and forgotten.  There is hardly an offence so small but it rankles if he who has committed it does not express proportionate regret.  Expressions of regret help genuine regret and induce amendment of life, much as digging a channel helps water to flow, though it does not make the water.  If a man refuses to make them and habitually indulges his own selfishness at the expense of what is due to other people, he is no better than a drunkard or a debauchee, and I have no more respect for him than I have for the others.

There’s hardly any offense so serious that if someone genuinely apologizes, it can’t be easily forgiven and forgotten. Similarly, even a small offense can linger if the person who did it doesn’t show the appropriate level of regret. Expressions of regret can help convey genuine remorse and lead to personal change, just as digging a channel helps water flow, even though it doesn't create the water itself. If a person refuses to apologize and continually prioritizes their own selfishness over what they owe to others, they are no better than an alcoholic or a debauched individual, and I have no more respect for them than I do for those others.

We all like to forgive, and we all love best not those who offend us least, nor those who have done most for us, but those who make it most easy for us to forgive them.

We all enjoy forgiving, and we all tend to love not the people who offend us the least, nor those who have done the most for us, but those who make it easiest for us to forgive them.

So a man may lose both his legs and live for years in health if the amputation has been clean and skilful, whereas a pea in his boot may set up irritation which must last as long as the pea is there and may in the end kill him.

So a man can lose both his legs and live healthy for years if the amputation is done well and properly, while a pea in his boot can cause irritation that lasts as long as the pea is there and may eventually kill him.

Forgiveness and Retribution

It is no part of the bargain that we are never to commit trespasses.  The bargain is that if we would be forgiven we must forgive them that trespass against us.  Nor again is it part of the bargain that we are to let a man hob-nob with us when we know him to be a thorough blackguard, merely on the plea that unless we do so we shall not be forgiving him his trespasses.  No hard and fast rule can be laid down, each case must be settled instinctively as it arises.

It’s not part of the deal that we should never make mistakes. The deal is that if we want to be forgiven, we have to forgive those who wrong us. Also, it’s not part of the deal that we should hang out with someone just because we want to appear forgiving, especially if we know they’re a terrible person. There’s no strict rule; each situation needs to be judged by our instincts as it comes up.

As a sinner I am interested in the principle of forgiveness; as sinned against, in that of retribution.  I have what is to me a considerable vested interest in both these principles, but I should say I had more in forgiveness than in retribution.  And so it probably is with most people or we should have had a clause in the Lord’s prayer: “And pay out those who have sinned against us as they whom we have sinned against generally pay us out.”

As a sinner, I'm interested in the idea of forgiveness; as someone who has been wronged, I'm more focused on retribution. I definitely have a significant investment in both of these concepts, but I would say I’m more invested in forgiveness than in retribution. It’s likely the same for most people, or else we would have had a line in the Lord’s Prayer: “And repay those who have wronged us as we generally repay those we have wronged.”

Inaccuracy

I am not sure that I do not begin to like the correction of a mistake, even when it involves my having shown much ignorance and stupidity, as well as I like hitting on a new idea.  It does comfort one so to be able to feel sure that one knows how to tumble and how to retreat promptly and without chagrin.  Being bowled over in inaccuracy, when I have tried to verify, makes me careful.  But if I have not tried to verify and then turn out wrong, this, if I find it out, upsets me very much and I pray that I may be found out whenever I do it.

I’m not sure, but I think I might actually like correcting a mistake, even if it shows my ignorance and stupidity, just as much as I enjoy coming up with a new idea. It’s really comforting to know that I can stumble and quickly backtrack without feeling embarrassed. Getting caught up in inaccuracies when I’ve tried to check things makes me more cautious. But if I haven’t double-checked and then find out I was wrong, that really bothers me, and I hope I get called out whenever it happens.

Jutland and “Waitee”

I made a mistake in The Authoress of the Odyssey [in a note on p. 31] when I said “Scheria means Jutland—a piece of land jutting out into the sea.”  Jutland means the Land of the Jutes.

I made a mistake in The Authoress of the Odyssey [in a note on p. 31] when I said “Scheria means Jutland—a piece of land jutting out into the sea.” Jutland actually refers to the Land of the Jutes.

And I made a mistake in Alps and Sanctuaries [Chap. III], speaking of the peasants in the Val Leventina knowing English, when I said “One English word has become universally adopted by the Ticinesi themselves.  They say ‘Waitee’ just as we should say ‘Wait’ to stop some one from going away.  It is abhorrent to them to end a word with a consonant so they have added ‘ee,’ but there can be no doubt about the origin of the word.”  The Avvocato Negri of Casale-Monferrato says that they have a word in their dialetto which, if ever written, would appear as “vuaitee,” it means “stop” or “look here,” and is used to attract attention.  This, or something like it, no doubt is what they really say and has no more to do with waiting than Jutland has to do with jutting.

And I made a mistake in Alps and Sanctuaries [Chap. III], when I mentioned that the peasants in Val Leventina knew English. I said, “One English word has become universally adopted by the Ticinesi themselves. They say ‘Waitee’ just like we would say ‘Wait’ to stop someone from leaving. It’s disgusting to them to end a word with a consonant, so they’ve added ‘ee,’ but there’s no doubt about where the word comes from.” The Avvocato Negri of Casale-Monferrato says they have a word in their dialect that, if it were ever written, would look like “vuaitee.” It means “stop” or “look here,” and is used to get someone’s attention. This, or something similar, is probably what they really say, and it has nothing to do with waiting, just like Jutland has nothing to do with jutting.

The Parables

The people do not act reasonably in a single instance.  The sower was a bad sower; the shepherd who left his ninety and nine sheep in the wilderness was a foolish shepherd; the husbandman who would not have his corn weeded was no farmer—and so on.  None of them go nearly on all fours, they halt so much as to have neither literary nor moral value to any but slipshod thinkers.

The people don’t behave logically in even one situation. The sower was a terrible sower; the shepherd who abandoned his ninety-nine sheep in the wilderness was a foolish shepherd; the farmer who wouldn’t have his crops weeded wasn’t really a farmer—and so on. None of them align well with each other; they’re so inconsistent that they hold no literary or moral value for anyone except careless thinkers.

Granted, but are we not all slipshod thinkers?

Granted, but aren't we all careless thinkers?

The Irreligion of Orthodoxy

We do not fall foul of Christians for their religion, but for what we hold to be their want of religion—for the low views they take of God and of his glory, and for the unworthiness with which they try to serve him.

We don’t criticize Christians for their religion, but for what we believe is their lack of true faith—for their shallow understanding of God and His glory, and for the unworthy way they attempt to serve Him.

Society and Christianity

The burden of society is really a very light one.  She does not require us to believe the Christian religion, she has very vague ideas as to what the Christian religion is, much less does she require us to practise it.  She is quite satisfied if we do not obtrude our disbelief in it in an offensive manner.  Surely this is no very grievous burden.

The weight of society is actually quite light. It doesn't demand that we believe in the Christian religion; it has pretty unclear ideas about what that religion even is, let alone requiring us to practice it. Society is happy as long as we don't push our disbelief in a disrespectful way. This certainly isn't a heavy burden.

Sanctified by Faith

No matter how great a fraud a thing may have been or be, if it has passed through many minds an aroma of life attaches to it and it must be handled with a certain reverence.  A thing or a thought becomes hallowed if it has been long and strongly believed in, for veneration, after a time, seems to get into the thing venerated.  Look at Delphi—fraud of frauds, yet sanctified by centuries of hope and fear and faith.  If greater knowledge shows Christianity to have been founded upon error, still greater knowledge shows that it was aiming at a truth.

No matter how big of a fraud something may have been or currently is, if it has passed through many minds, it gains a certain vitality and should be treated with respect. An idea or belief becomes sacred if it has been embraced for a long time and with strong conviction, as reverence seems to seep into whatever is revered. Take Delphi, for example—an ultimate fraud, yet made sacred by centuries of hope, fear, and faith. If increased understanding reveals that Christianity was based on mistakes, even greater understanding shows that it was striving for a truth.

Ourselves and the Clergy

As regards the best of the clergy, whether English or foreign, I feel that they and we mean in substance the same thing, and that the difference is only about the way this thing should be put and the evidence on which it should be considered to rest.

As for the best of the clergy, whether they're English or from abroad, I believe that they and we essentially mean the same thing. The only difference is how this idea should be expressed and the evidence it should be based on.

We say that they jeopardise the acceptance of the principles which they and we alike cordially regard as fundamental by basing them on assertions which a little investigation shows to be untenable.  They reply that by declaring the assertions to be untenable we jeopardise the principles.  We answer that this is not so and that moreover we can find better, safer and more obvious assertions on which to base them.

We argue that they undermine the acceptance of the principles that both they and we consider fundamental by relying on claims that a bit of investigation reveals to be invalid. They counter that by labeling these claims as invalid, we endanger the principles. We respond that this isn't true and that, furthermore, we can find better, more secure, and more obvious claims to support them.

The Rules of Life

Whether it is right to say that one believes in God and Christianity without intending what one knows the hearer intends one to intend depends on how much or how little the hearer can understand.  Life is not an exact science, it is an art.  Just as the contention, excellent so far as it goes, that each is to do what is right in his own eyes leads, when ridden to death, to anarchy and chaos, so the contention that every one should be either self-effacing or truthful to the bitter end reduces life to an absurdity.  If we seek real rather than technical truth, it is more true to be considerately untruthful within limits than to be inconsiderately truthful without them.  What the limits are we generally know but cannot say.

Whether it’s accurate to say that someone believes in God and Christianity without considering what the listener thinks they should intend depends on how much the listener can comprehend. Life isn’t an exact science; it’s an art. Just like the idea that everyone should do what feels right to them can lead to anarchy and chaos when taken too far, the idea that everyone should either be completely self-effacing or brutally honest can make life absurd. If we’re after genuine truth instead of just technical truths, it’s often more truthful to be kindly untruthful within certain boundaries than to be thoughtlessly honest without them. We generally know what those boundaries are but can’t quite articulate them.

There is an unbridgeable chasm between thought and words that we must jump as best we can, and it is just here that the two hitch on to one another.  The higher rules of life transcend the sphere of language; they cannot be gotten by speech, neither shall logic be weighed for the price thereof.  They have their being in the fear of the Lord and in the departing from evil without even knowing in words what the Lord is, nor the fear of the Lord, nor yet evil.

There’s a vast gap between thoughts and words that we have to cross as best as we can, and it’s right here that the two connect. The deeper principles of life go beyond language; they can’t be expressed in speech, and logic doesn’t determine their value. They exist in the fear of the Lord and in turning away from evil, even without fully knowing in words what the Lord is, what the fear of the Lord entails, or what evil truly is.

Common straightforwardness and kindliness are the highest points that man or woman can reach, but they should no more be made matters of conversation than should the lowest vices.  Extremes meet here as elsewhere and the extremes of vice and virtue are alike common and unmentionable.

Common honesty and kindness are the highest qualities a person can achieve, but they shouldn’t be discussed any more than the lowest vices. Extremes meet here as they do elsewhere, and the extremes of vice and virtue are both ordinary and not suitable for conversation.

There is nothing for it but a very humble hope that from the Great Unknown Source our daily insight and daily strength may be given us with our daily bread.  And what is this but Christianity, whether we believe that Jesus Christ rose from the dead or not?  So that Christianity is like a man’s soul—he who finds may lose it and he who loses may find it.

There’s nothing to do but hold a very modest hope that from the Great Unknown Source, we may receive our daily wisdom and strength along with our daily bread. And what is this if not Christianity, whether we believe that Jesus Christ rose from the dead or not? So, Christianity is like a person’s soul—those who find it may lose it, and those who lose it may find it.

If, then, a man may be a Christian while believing himself hostile to all that some consider most essential in Christianity, may he not also be a free-thinker (in the common use of the word) while believing himself hostile to free-thought?

If a person can be a Christian while believing he is against everything some people consider essential to Christianity, can he not also be a free thinker (in the usual sense of the term) while believing he is against free thought?

p. 353XXIII
Death

Fore-knowledge of Death

No one thinks he will escape death, so there is no disappointment and, as long as we know neither the when nor the how, the mere fact that we shall one day have to go does not much affect us; we do not care, even though we know vaguely that we have not long to live.  The serious trouble begins when death becomes definite in time and shape.  It is in precise fore-knowledge, rather than in sin, that the sting of death is to be found; and such fore-knowledge is generally withheld; though, strangely enough, many would have it if they could.

No one believes they will escape death, so there’s no disappointment, and as long as we don’t know when or how it will happen, just the fact that we will eventually die doesn’t bother us much; we don’t mind, even if we have a vague sense that our time is limited. The real trouble starts when death becomes certain in time and form. It’s in the clear knowledge of it, rather than in wrongdoing, that the pain of death lies; and this clear knowledge is usually kept from us; yet, oddly enough, many people would want to know if they could.

Continued Identity

I do not doubt that a person who will grow out of me as I now am, but of whom I know nothing now and in whom therefore I can take none but the vaguest interest, will one day undergo so sudden and complete a change that his friends must notice it and call him dead; but as I have no definite ideas concerning this person, not knowing whether he will be a man of 59 or 79 or any age between these two, so this person will, I am sure, have forgotten the very existence of me as I am at this present moment.  If it is said that no matter how wide a difference of condition may exist between myself now and myself at the moment of death, or how complete the forgetfulness of connection on either side may be, yet the fact of the one’s having grown out of the other by an infinite series of gradations makes the second personally identical with the first, then I say that the difference between the corpse and the till recently living body is not great enough, either in respect of material change or of want of memory concerning the earlier existence, to bar personal identity and prevent us from seeing the corpse as alive and a continuation of the man from whom it was developed, though having tastes and other characteristics very different from those it had while it was a man.

I have no doubt that someone will eventually grow out of the person I am now, someone I know nothing about, and therefore I can only have the slightest interest in. One day, this person will undergo such a sudden and complete change that their friends will notice it and say he is dead. However, since I have no clear ideas about who this person will be—whether he will be 59, 79, or any age in between—I’m sure he will have completely forgotten the existence of who I am at this moment. If it’s argued that no matter how vast the differences in condition may be between who I am now and who I will be at the moment of death, or how much forgetfulness exists on either side, the fact that one has grown out of the other through countless gradual changes makes the two personally identical, then I would say the difference between a corpse and the body that was recently alive is not significant enough, either in terms of physical change or in terms of memory loss regarding earlier existence, to prevent personal identity. We can still see the corpse as a continuation of the man it came from, even though it now has very different tastes and characteristics than when it was alive.

From this point of view there is no such thing as death—I mean no such thing as the death which we have commonly conceived of hitherto.  A man is much more alive when he is what we call alive than when he is what we call dead; but no matter how much he is alive, he is still in part dead, and no matter how much he is dead, he is still in part alive, and his corpse-hood is connected with his living body-hood by gradations which even at the moment of death are ordinarily subtle; and the corpse does not forget the living body more completely than the living body has forgotten a thousand or a hundred thousand of its own previous states; so that we should see the corpse as a person, of greatly and abruptly changed habits it is true, but still of habits of some sort, for hair and nails continue to grow after death, and with an individuality which is as much identical with that of the person from whom it has arisen as this person was with himself as an embryo of a week old, or indeed more so.

From this perspective, there’s really no such thing as death—not in the way we usually think about it. A person is way more alive when we call them alive than when we call them dead; but no matter how alive they are, there’s still some part of them that’s dead, and no matter how dead they seem, there’s still some part of them that’s alive. The state of being a corpse is connected to being a living body through subtle changes, even at the moment of death. The corpse doesn’t forget the living body any more completely than the living body has forgotten countless previous states; so we should view the corpse as a person, though with very different habits, it’s true. But it still has some kind of habits—after all, hair and nails keep growing after death, and it maintains an individuality that’s just as connected to the person it came from as that person was to themselves when they were a week old embryo, or perhaps even more so.

If we have identity between the embryo and the octogenarian, we must have it also between the octogenarian and the corpse, and do away with death except as a rather striking change of thought and habit, greater indeed in degree than, but still, in kind, substantially the same as any of the changes which we have experienced from moment to moment throughout that fragment of existence which we commonly call our life; so that in sober seriousness there is no such thing as absolute death, just as there is no such thing as absolute life.

If we see a connection between the embryo and the eighty-year-old, then we have to see one between the eighty-year-old and the corpse as well. This means we should consider death as just a significant shift in perspective and behavior—more intense in degree, but essentially similar in nature to the changes we encounter from moment to moment in the piece of existence we refer to as our life. Therefore, seriously speaking, there’s no such thing as absolute death, just as there’s no such thing as absolute life.

Either this, or we must keep death at the expense of personal identity, and deny identity between any two states which present considerable differences and neither of which has any fore-knowledge of, or recollection of the other.  In this case, if there be death at all, it is some one else who dies and not we, because while we are alive we are not dead, and as soon as we are dead we are no longer ourselves.

Either we accept this, or we have to hold onto the idea of death at the cost of personal identity, and reject any connection between two states that show significant differences and neither of which remembers or knows anything about the other. In this situation, if death exists at all, it’s someone else who dies and not us, because while we’re alive, we aren’t dead, and once we’re dead, we are no longer ourselves.

So that it comes in the end to this, that either there is no such thing as death at all, or else that, if there is, it is some one else who dies and not we.  We cannot blow hot and cold with the same breath.  If we would retain personal identity at all, we must continue it beyond what we call death, in which case death ceases to be what we have hitherto thought it, that is to say, the end of our being.  We cannot have both personal identity and death too.

So, in the end, it comes down to this: either death doesn’t exist at all, or if it does, it’s someone else who dies, not us. We can’t be contradictory. If we want to keep our personal identity, we have to carry it beyond what we call death. In that case, death stops being what we’ve always thought it was—the end of our existence. We can’t have both personal identity and death.

Complete Death

To die completely, a person must not only forget but be forgotten, and he who is not forgotten is not dead.  This is as old as non omnis moriar and a great deal older, but very few people realise it.

To completely die, a person must not only be forgotten but also forget. If someone isn’t forgotten, they aren’t really dead. This idea is as old as non omnis moriar and much older, yet very few people understand it.

Life and Death

When I was young I used to think the only certain thing about life was that I should one day die.  Now I think the only certain thing about life is that there is no such thing as death.

When I was young, I used to think the only thing you could count on in life was that I would eventually die. Now I believe the only certainty in life is that death doesn't really exist.

The Defeat of Death

There is nothing which at once affects a man so much and so little as his own death.  It is a case in which the going-to-happen-ness of a thing is of greater importance than the actual thing itself which cannot be of importance to the man who dies, for Death cuts his own throat in the matter of hurting people.  As a bee that can sting once but in the stinging dies, so Death is dead to him who is dead already.  While he is shaking his wings, there is brutum fulmen but the man goes on living, frightened, perhaps, but unhurt; pain and sickness may hurt him but the moment Death strikes him both he and Death are beyond feeling.  It is as though Death were born anew with every man; the two protect one another so long as they keep one another at arm’s length, but if they once embrace it is all over with both.

There’s nothing that impacts a person so much and so little as their own death. In this case, the possibility of something happening is more significant than the actual event, which matters little to the person who dies, since Death itself doesn’t inflict pain on anyone. Just like a bee that can only sting once and dies in the process, Death is irrelevant to someone who is already dead. While life is still buzzing around, there’s an effect, but the person continues living, perhaps scared but unharmed; pain and illness can cause suffering, but once Death happens, both the person and Death are beyond feeling. It’s as if Death is renewed with each individual; they protect each other as long as they keep their distance, but if they ever come together, it’s the end for both.

The Torture of Death

The fabled pains of Tantalus, Sisyphus and all the rest of them show what an instinctive longing there is in all men both for end and endlessness of both good and ill, but as torture they are the merest mockery when compared with the fruitless chase to which poor Death has been condemned for ever and ever.  Does it not seem as though he too must have committed some crime for which his sentence is to be for ever grasping after that which becomes non-existent the moment he grasps it?  But then I suppose it would be with him as with the rest of the tortured, he must either die himself, which he has not done, or become used to it and enjoy the frightening as much as the killing.  Any pain through which a man can live at all becomes unfelt as soon as it becomes habitual.  Pain consists not in that which is now endured but in the strong memory of something better that is still recent.  And so, happiness lies in the memory of a recent worse and the expectation of a better that is to come soon.

The legendary struggles of Tantalus, Sisyphus, and the others highlight a deep desire in all humans for both the end and the endless nature of good and bad. Yet, as forms of torture, their fates seem trivial compared to the endless pursuit that poor Death has been sentenced to forever. Doesn't it seem like he must have committed some wrongdoing for which he’s doomed to endlessly reach for something that disappears the moment he touches it? But I guess it’s like with all the other tormented souls; he must either die himself, which he hasn’t done, or get used to it and learn to find satisfaction in the terror just as much as in the killing. Any suffering that a person can actually endure becomes unnoticeable once it becomes a routine. Pain doesn’t come from what someone is currently enduring but from the stark memory of something better that’s still fresh. So, happiness resides in the memory of a recent hardship and the hope for a better future that’s on the horizon.

Ignorance of Death

i

The fear of death is instinctive because in so many past generations we have feared it.  But how did we come to know what death is so that we should fear it?  The answer is that we do not know what death is and that this is why we fear it.

The fear of death is instinctive because many generations before us have been afraid of it. But how did we come to understand what death is that makes us fear it? The answer is that we don't really know what death is, and that's exactly why we fear it.

ii

If a man know not life which he hath seen how shall he know death which he hath not seen?

If a man doesn’t understand the life he has experienced, how can he understand death that he hasn’t seen?

iii

If a man has sent his teeth and his hair and perhaps two or three limbs to the grave before him, the presumption should be that, as he knows nothing further of these when they have once left him, so will he know nothing of the rest of him when it too is dead.  The whole may surely be argued from the parts.

If a man has already lost his teeth, hair, and maybe even a couple of limbs, the assumption should be that just like he doesn't know anything about those parts once they've left him, he will also be unaware of the rest of him when it ultimately dies. One can definitely conclude this from the individual parts.

iv

To write about death is to write about that of which we have had little practical experience.  We can write about conscious life, but we have no consciousness of the deaths we daily die.  Besides, we cannot eat our cake and have it.  We cannot have tabulæ rasæ and tabulæ scriptæ at the same time.  We cannot be at once dead enough to be reasonably registered as such, and alive enough to be able to tell people all about it.

To write about death is to address something that we have had minimal firsthand experience with. We can talk about being alive, but we have no awareness of the deaths we go through every day. Plus, we can't have our cake and eat it too. We can't have blank slates and written pages at the same time. We can't be dead enough to be counted as such and still be alive enough to explain everything about it.

v

There will come a supreme moment in which there will be care neither for ourselves nor for others, but a complete abandon, a sans souci of unspeakable indifference, and this moment will never be taken from us; time cannot rob us of it but, as far as we are concerned, it will last for ever and ever without flying.  So that, even for the most wretched and most guilty, there is a heaven at last where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt and where thieves do not break through nor steal.  To himself every one is an immortal: he may know that he is going to die, but he can never know that he is dead.

There will come a moment when we won’t care about ourselves or others, but will experience a complete letting go, a sans souci of unimaginable indifference. This moment will never be taken from us; time can't take it away, and for us, it will last forever without passing. So, even for the most miserable and the most guilty, there is a heaven at last where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves don’t break in or steal. To each person, they are immortal: they may know they are going to die, but they can never truly know they are dead.

vi

If life is an illusion, then so is death—the greatest of all illusions.  If life must not be taken too seriously—then so neither must death.

If life is an illusion, then so is death—the biggest illusion of all. If we shouldn't take life too seriously, then we shouldn't take death too seriously either.

vii

The dead are often just as living to us as the living are, only we cannot get them to believe it.  They can come to us, but till we die we cannot go to them.  To be dead is to be unable to understand that one is alive.

The dead often feel just as present to us as the living do, but we can't make them see it. They can reach out to us, but until we die, we can’t reach out to them. Being dead means not being able to grasp that one is alive.

Dissolution

Death is the dissolving of a partnership, the partners to which survive and go elsewhere.  It is the corruption or breaking up of that society which we have called Ourself.  The corporation is at an end, both its soul and its body cease as a whole, but the immortal constituents do not cease and never will.  The souls of some men transmigrate in great part into their children, but there is a large alloy in respect both of body and mind through sexual generation; the souls of other men migrate into books, pictures, music, or what not; and every one’s mind migrates somewhere, whether remembered and admired or the reverse.  The living souls of Handel, Shakespeare, Rembrandt, Giovanni Bellini and the other great ones appear and speak to us in their works with less alloy than they could ever speak through their children; but men’s bodies disappear absolutely on death, except they be in some measure preserved in their children and in so far as harmonics of all that has been remain.

Death is the end of a partnership, with the partners moving on elsewhere. It’s the disintegration of the society we refer to as Ourself. The corporation is finished; both its spirit and body cease as a whole, but the eternal parts continue and always will. Some people's souls largely move into their children, though there’s a significant mix affecting both body and mind due to reproduction; others’ souls find a home in books, art, music, or similar things; and everyone’s thoughts go somewhere, whether they’re cherished or not. The living spirits of Handel, Shakespeare, Rembrandt, Giovanni Bellini, and others connect with us through their works with less complication than they could through their children; however, men's bodies completely vanish at death, unless they are somewhat preserved in their offspring and in so far as the echoes of all that has been endure.

On death we do not lose life, we only lose individuality; we live henceforth in others not in ourselves.  Our mistake has been in not seeing that death is indeed, like birth, a salient feature in the history of the individual, but one which wants exploding as the end of the individual, no less than birth wanted exploding as his beginning.

On death, we don't lose life; we only lose our individuality. We continue to exist through others, not just within ourselves. Our error has been in not realizing that death is, just like birth, a significant part of an individual's story. However, it needs to be recognized as the end of the individual, just as birth needs to be acknowledged as the beginning.

Dying is only a mode of forgetting.  We shall see this more easily if we consider forgetting to be a mode of dying.  So the ancients called their River of Death, Lethe—the River of Forgetfulness.  They ought also to have called their River of Life, Mnemosyne—the River of Memory.  We should learn to tune death a good deal flatter than according to received notions.

Dying is just a way of forgetting. We’ll understand this better if we think of forgetting as a way of dying. That’s why the ancients named their River of Death Lethe—the River of Forgetfulness. They should have also named their River of Life Mnemosyne—the River of Memory. We need to learn to see death in a much more nuanced way than traditional beliefs suggest.

The Dislike of Death

We cannot like both life and death at once; no one can be expected to like two such opposite things at the same time; if we like life we must dislike death, and if we leave off disliking death we shall soon die.  Death will always be more avoided than sought; for living involves effort, perceived or unperceived, central or departmental, and this will only be made by those who dislike the consequences of not making it more than the trouble of making it.  A race, therefore, which is to exist at all must be a death-disliking race, for it is only at the cost of death that we can rid ourselves of all aversion to the idea of dying, so that the hunt after a philosophy which shall strip death of his terrors is like trying to find the philosopher’s stone which cannot be found and which, if found, would defeat its own object.

We can't like both life and death at the same time; it's impossible to appreciate two such opposing things simultaneously. If we enjoy life, we have to dislike death, and if we stop disliking death, we'll soon face it. Death will always be something we avoid rather than pursue; living requires effort, whether we realize it or not, and this effort will only be made by those who fear the consequences of not putting in that effort more than they dread the effort itself. Therefore, a race that wants to survive must be one that dislikes death, because only by facing death can we move past our fear of dying. The search for a philosophy that makes death less scary is like looking for a philosopher’s stone—something that's unattainable and, if found, would defeat its own purpose.

Moreover, as a discovery which should rid us of the fear of death would be the vainest, so also it would be the most immoral of discoveries, for the very essence of morality is involved in the dislike (within reasonable limits) of death.  Morality aims at a maximum of comfortable life and a minimum of death; if then, a minimum of death and a maximum of life were no longer held worth striving for, the whole fabric of morality would collapse, as indeed we have it on record that it is apt to do among classes that from one cause or another have come to live in disregard and expectation of death.

Moreover, a discovery that eliminates our fear of death would not only be pointless but also the most immoral of all discoveries, since the core of morality is tied to our reasonable dislike of death. Morality strives to maximize comfortable living and minimize death; if a minimum of death and a maximum of life are no longer seen as worth pursuing, then the entire foundation of morality would fall apart, as we've seen happen among groups that, for various reasons, have started to live without regard for death.

However much we may abuse death for robbing us of our friends—and there is no one who is not sooner or later hit hard in this respect—yet time heals these wounds sooner than we like to own; if the heyday of grief does not shortly kill outright, it passes; and I doubt whether most men, if they were to search their hearts, would not find that, could they command death for some single occasion, they would be more likely to bid him take than restore.

However much we complain about death for taking our friends away—and everyone experiences this at some point—time heals these wounds more quickly than we want to admit. If the peak of our grief doesn’t kill us outright, it eventually fades away; and I wonder if most people, if they really searched their feelings, wouldn’t find that if they could order death for a particular situation, they’d be more likely to ask him to take someone rather than bring someone back.

Moreover, death does not blight love as the accidents of time and life do.  Even the fondest grow apart if parted; they cannot come together again, not in any closeness or for any long time.  Can death do worse than this?

Moreover, death doesn’t ruin love the way the ups and downs of life do. Even the closest bonds can drift apart if separated; they can’t reconnect in the same way or for an extended time. Can death do anything worse than this?

The memory of a love that has been cut short by death remains still fragrant though enfeebled, but no recollection of its past can keep sweet a love that has dried up and withered through accidents of time and life.

The memory of a love that has been ended by death still carries a faint sweetness, even though it's weakened, but no memory of its past can keep alive a love that has dried up and faded away due to the twists and turns of time and life.

p. 360XXIV
The Life of the World to Come

Posthumous Life

i

To try to live in posterity is to be like an actor who leaps over the footlights and talks to the orchestra.

To try to live on after you’re gone is like an actor who jumps off the stage to talk to the band.

ii

He who wants posthumous fame is as one who would entail land, and tie up his money after his death as tightly and for as long a time as possible.  Still we each of us in our own small way try to get what little posthumous fame we can.

He who seeks fame after his death is like someone who wants to burden their land and restrict their money for as long and as tightly as possible after they're gone. Yet, in our own small ways, we all try to achieve whatever little posthumous fame we can.

The Test of Faith

Why should we be so avid of honourable and affectionate remembrance after death?  Why should we hold this the one thing worth living or dying for?  Why should all that we can know or feel seem but a very little thing as compared with that which we never either feel or know?  What a reversal of all the canons of action which commonly guide mankind is there not here?  But however this may be, if we have faith in the life after death we can have little in that which is before it, and if we have faith in this life we can have small faith in any other.

Why should we care so much about being remembered fondly and with love after we’re gone? Why do we consider this the one thing worth living or dying for? Why does everything we can know or feel seem so insignificant compared to what we’ll never experience or understand? Isn’t this a complete turnaround of all the usual guidelines that direct human behavior? But regardless of this, if we believe in life after death, we can hardly believe in the life we have now, and if we have faith in this life, we can’t have much faith in any other.

Nevertheless there is a deeply rooted conviction, even in many of those in whom its existence is least apparent, that honourable and affectionate remembrance after death with a full and certain hope that it will be ours is the highest prize to which the highest calling can aspire.  Few pass through this world without feeling the vanity of all human ambitions; their faith may fail them here, but it will not fail them—not for a moment, never—if they possess it as regards posthumous respect and affection.  The world may prove hollow but a well-earned good fame in death will never do so.  And all men feel this whether they admit it to themselves or no.

Nevertheless, there’s a deeply rooted belief, even among those who seem least aware of it, that being honored and remembered affectionately after death—with a strong and certain hope that it will be ours—is the greatest reward one can strive for. Few people go through this world without realizing the emptiness of all human ambitions; their faith might waver here, but it will never fail them—not for a second, never—if they have it regarding how they will be remembered and respected after they’re gone. The world might feel empty, but a well-deserved good reputation in death will never feel that way. And all people sense this, whether they acknowledge it or not.

Faith in this is easy enough.  We are born with it.  What is less easy is to possess one’s soul in peace and not be shaken in faith and broken in spirit on seeing the way in which men crowd themselves, or are crowded, into honourable remembrance when, if the truth concerning them were known, no pit of oblivion should be deep enough for them.  See, again, how many who have richly earned esteem never get it either before or after death.  It is here that faith comes in.  To see that the infinite corruptions of this life penetrate into and infect that which is to come, and yet to hold that even infamy after death, with obscure and penurious life before it, is a prize which will bring a man more peace at the last than all the good things of this life put together and joined with an immortality as lasting as Virgil’s, provided the infamy and failure of the one be unmerited, as also the success and immortality of the other.  Here is the test of faith—will you do your duty with all your might at any cost of goods or reputation either in this world or beyond the grave?  If you will—well, the chances are 100 to 1 that you will become a faddist, a vegetarian and a teetotaller.

Faith in this is pretty straightforward. We’re born with it. What’s harder is keeping your soul at peace and not being shaken in faith or broken in spirit when you see how people push themselves, or are pushed, into honorable remembrance when, if the truth about them were revealed, no depth of forgetfulness would be deep enough for them. Just look at how many who truly deserve admiration never receive it, either in life or after death. This is where faith plays a role. To realize that the countless corruptions of this life seep into and tarnish what’s to come, yet still believe that even infamy after death, with a life lived obscurely and in poverty before it, is a reward that will bring a person more peace in the end than all the good things in this life combined, along with an immortality as lasting as Virgil’s—assuming the infamy and failure are undeserved, as is the success and immortality of the other. This is the test of faith—will you fulfill your duty with all your strength regardless of the cost to your belongings or reputation, whether in this world or beyond the grave? If you will—and odds are hugely against it—you’ll probably end up as a faddist, a vegetarian, and a teetotaler.

And suppose you escape this pit-fall too.  Why should you try to be so much better than your neighbours?  Who are you to think you may be worthy of so much good fortune?  If you do, you may be sure that you do not deserve it.

And let’s say you avoid this trap too. Why should you strive to be so much better than those around you? Who are you to believe you deserve such good fortune? If you do, you can be sure that you don’t deserve it.

And so on ad infinitum.  Let us eat and drink neither forgetting nor remembering death unduly.  The Lord hath mercy on whom he will have mercy and the less we think about it the better.

And so on ad infinitum. Let’s eat and drink without overly worrying about death. The Lord shows mercy to whom He chooses, and the less we dwell on it, the better.

Starting again ad Infinitum

A man from the cradle to the grave is but the embryo of a being that may be born into the world of the dead who still live, or that may die so soon after entering it as to be practically still-born.  The greater number of the seeds shed, whether by plants or animals, never germinate and of those that grow few reach maturity, so the greater number of those that reach death are still-born as regards the truest life of all—I mean the life that is lived after death in the thoughts and actions of posterity.  Moreover of those who are born into and fill great places in this invisible world not one is immortal.

A person from birth to death is just the early stage of a being that could emerge into the world of those who have passed but still exist in memory, or that might die shortly after coming into it, almost as if still-born. Most of the seeds released, whether from plants or animals, never take root, and of those that do grow, few reach full development. Therefore, many who face death are as good as still-born when it comes to the most meaningful kind of life—meaning the life that continues after death through the thoughts and actions of future generations. Furthermore, of those who are born into and occupy significant roles in this unseen world, none are truly immortal.

We should look on the body as the manifesto of the mind and on posterity as the manifesto of the dead that live after life.  Each is the mechanism whereby the other exists.

We should view the body as the expression of the mind and posterity as the expression of those who live on after death. Each serves as the means through which the other exists.

Life, then, is not the having been born—it is rather an effort to be born.  But why should some succeed in attaining to this future life and others fail?  Why should some be born more than others?  Why should not some one in a future state taunt Lazarus with having a good time now and tell him it will be the turn of Dives in some other and more remote hereafter?  I must have it that neither are the good rewarded nor the bad punished in a future state, but every one must start anew quite irrespective of anything they have done here and must try his luck again and go on trying it again and again ad infinitum.  Some of our lives, then, will be lucky and some unlucky and it will resolve itself into one long eternal life during which we shall change so much that we shall not remember our antecedents very far back (any more than we remember having been embryos) nor foresee our future very much, and during which we shall have our ups and downs ad infinitum—effecting a transformation scene at once as soon as circumstances become unbearable.

Life isn't just about being born—it's really about the struggle to be born. But why do some people manage to achieve this future life while others don’t? Why are some born more than others? What if someone in a future existence teases Lazarus for enjoying himself now and tells him that Dives will have his turn in some other, more distant future? I believe that neither the good are rewarded nor the bad punished in a future state; instead, everyone starts over, completely independent of their actions here, and must try their luck again and keep trying ad infinitum. Some of our lives will be lucky, while others will be unlucky, and it all adds up to one long eternal life in which we change so much that we won’t remember our past very clearly (just like we don’t remember being embryos) or foresee our future much either. Throughout this time, we’ll experience ups and downs ad infinitum—transforming our circumstances as soon as they become unbearable.

Nevertheless, some men’s work does live longer than others.  Some achieve what is very like immortality.  Why should they have this piece of good fortune more than others?  The answer is that it would be very unjust if they knew anything about it, or could enjoy it in any way, but they know nothing whatever about it, and you, the complainer, do profit by their labour, so that it is really you, the complainer, who get the fun, not they, and this should stop your mouth.  The only thing they got was a little hope, which buoyed them up often when there was but little else that could do so.

Nevertheless, some men's work lasts longer than others. Some achieve something very close to immortality. Why should they have this stroke of luck more than anyone else? The answer is that it would be really unfair if they were aware of it or could enjoy it in any way, but they know nothing about it at all, and you, the one complaining, benefit from their labor, so it’s actually you, the complainer, who gets the enjoyment, not them, and that should silence you. The only thing they received was a little hope, which often lifted their spirits when there was hardly anything else that could do so.

Preparation for Death

That there is a life after death is as palpable as that there is a life before death—see the influence that the dead have over us—but this life is no more eternal than our present life.

That there is life after death is as clear as there is life before death—just look at the impact that the deceased have on us—but this life isn’t any more eternal than our current life.

Shakespeare and Homer may live long, but they will die some day, that is to say, they will become unknown as direct and efficient causes.  Even so God himself dies, for to die is to change and to change is to die to what has gone before.  If the units change the total must do so also.

Shakespeare and Homer may last a long time, but they will eventually fade away; in other words, they will become irrelevant as direct and effective influences. Even God experiences death in this sense because to die means to change, and to change means to let go of what came before. If the individual elements change, the total must change as well.

As no one can say which egg or seed shall come to visible life and in its turn leave issue, so no one can say which of the millions of now visible lives shall enter into the afterlife on death, and which have but so little life as practically not to count.  For most seeds end as seeds or as food for some alien being, and so with lives, by far the greater number are sterile, except in so far as they can be devoured as the food of some stronger life.  The Handels and Shakespeares are the few seeds that grow—and even these die.

As no one can determine which egg or seed will hatch into life and eventually produce offspring, no one can predict which of the millions of currently living beings will transition to the afterlife upon death, and which will have such little existence that they hardly matter. Most seeds either stay seeds or end up being food for some other creature, and similarly, the vast majority of lives are unproductive, except for the fact that they can be consumed as nourishment for some stronger life. The Handels and Shakespeares are the rare seeds that thrive—and even they eventually die.

And the same uncertainty attaches to posthumous life as to pre-lethal.  As no one can say how long another shall live, so no one can say how long or how short a time a reputation shall live.  The most unpromising weakly-looking creatures sometimes live to ninety while strong robust men are carried off in their prime.  And no one can say what a man shall enter into life for having done.  Roughly, there is a sort of moral government whereby those who have done the best work live most enduringly, but it is subject to such exceptions that no one can say whether or no there shall not be an exception in his own case either in his favour or against him.

And the same uncertainty applies to life after death as to life before it. Just as nobody can predict how long someone will live, no one can predict how long or short a reputation will last. Sometimes, the most fragile-looking people make it to ninety, while strong, healthy individuals pass away in their prime. And no one can determine what a person will have to account for in life. Generally, there seems to be a kind of moral order where those who do the best work have the longest-lasting impact, but there are so many exceptions that no one can really know if they themselves will be an exception, whether in their favor or against them.

In this uncertainty a young writer had better act as though he had a reasonable chance of living, not perhaps very long, but still some little while after his death.  Let him leave his notes fairly full and fairly tidy in all respects, without spending too much time about them.  If they are wanted, there they are; if not wanted, there is no harm done.  He might as well leave them as anything else.  But let him write them in copying ink and have the copies kept in different places.

In this uncertainty, a young writer should act like he has a decent chance of living, maybe not for very long, but still for a little while after he's gone. He should keep his notes fairly complete and organized, without spending too much time on them. If someone needs them, they’ll be there; if not, it’s no big deal. He might as well leave them like anything else. But he should use permanent ink for writing and store copies in different locations.

The Vates Sacer

Just as the kingdom of heaven cometh not by observation, so neither do one’s own ideas, nor the good things one hears other people say; they fasten on us when we least want or expect them.  It is enough if the kingdom of heaven be observed when it does come.

Just as the kingdom of heaven doesn't come with signs you can see, neither do our own ideas or the nice things we hear from others; they stick with us when we least want or expect them. It's enough if we notice the kingdom of heaven when it finally arrives.

I do not read much; I look, listen, think and write.  My most intimate friends are men of more insight, quicker wit, more playful fancy and, in all ways, abler men than I am, but you will find ten of them for one of me.  I note what they say, think it over, adapt it and give it permanent form.  They throw good things off as sparks; I collect them and turn them into warmth.  But I could not do this if I did not sometimes throw out a spark or two myself.

I don't read much; I observe, listen, think, and write. My closest friends are guys with more insight, quicker minds, more playful creativity, and in every way, they're more capable than I am, but you’ll find ten of them for every one of me. I pay attention to what they say, reflect on it, adapt it, and give it lasting form. They generate great ideas like sparks; I gather them and turn them into warmth. But I wouldn’t be able to do this if I didn’t occasionally throw out a spark or two myself.

Not only would Agamemnon be nothing without the vates sacer but there are always at least ten good heroes to one good chronicler, just as there are ten good authors to one good publisher.  Bravery, wit and poetry abound in every village.  Look at Mrs. Boss [the original of Mrs. Jupp in The Way of All Flesh] and at Joanna Mills [Life and Letters of Dr. Butler, I, 93].  There is not a village of 500 inhabitants in England but has its Mrs. Quickly and its Tom Jones.  These good people never understand themselves, they go over their own heads, they speak in unknown tongues to those around them and the interpreter is the rarer and more important person.  The vates sacer is the middleman of mind.

Not only would Agamemnon be nothing without the vates sacer, but there are always at least ten good heroes for every good chronicler, just like there are ten good authors for every good publisher. Bravery, wit, and poetry are everywhere in every village. Look at Mrs. Boss [the original of Mrs. Jupp in The Way of All Flesh] and at Joanna Mills [Life and Letters of Dr. Butler, I, 93]. There isn’t a village of 500 people in England that doesn’t have its own Mrs. Quickly and its own Tom Jones. These good people never fully grasp themselves; they rise above their own understanding, they speak in unfamiliar languages to those around them, and the interpreter is the rarer and more important individual. The vates sacer is the bridge between minds.

So rare is he and such spendthrifts are we of good things that people not only will not note what might well be noted but they will not even keep what others have noted, if they are to be at the pains of pigeon-holing it.  It is less trouble to throw a brilliant letter into the fire than to put it into such form that it can be safely kept, quickly found and easily read.  To this end a letter should be gummed, with the help of the edgings of stamps if necessary, to a strip, say an inch and a quarter wide, of stout hand-made paper.  Two or three paper fasteners passed through these strips will bind fifty or sixty letters together, which, arranged in chronological order, can be quickly found and comfortably read.  But how few will be at the small weekly trouble of clearing up their correspondence and leaving it in manageable shape!  If we keep our letters at all we throw them higgledy-piggledy into a box and have done with them; let some one else arrange them when the owner is dead.  The some one else comes and finds the fire an easy method of escaping the onus thrown upon him.  So on go letters from Tilbrook, Merian, Marmaduke Lawson [364]—just as we throw our money away if the holding on to it involves even very moderate exertion.

So rare is he and we waste good things so easily that people not only ignore what should be important but also won't even save what others have noticed if it takes any effort to organize it. It's easier to toss a great letter into the fire than to store it in a way that makes it safe to keep, easy to find, and quick to read. To do this, a letter should be glued to a strip of sturdy handmade paper about an inch and a quarter wide, using the edges of stamps if needed. Two or three paper clips through these strips can hold fifty or sixty letters together, which can be organized chronologically for quick access and comfortable reading. But very few will take the small weekly time to tidy up their correspondence and keep it manageable! If we keep our letters at all, we just toss them randomly into a box and forget about them; let someone else sort them out when the owner is gone. That someone else comes along and finds burning the letters a convenient way to escape the responsibility put on them. So letters from Tilbrook, Merian, Marmaduke Lawson [364]—just like we throw away our money if holding onto it requires even a little effort.

On the other hand, if this instinct towards prodigality were not so great, beauty and wit would be smothered under their own selves.  It is through the waste of wit that wit endures, like money, its main preciousness lies in its rarity—the more plentiful it is the cheaper does it become.

On the other hand, if this tendency to be extravagant weren’t so strong, beauty and intelligence would be stifled by their own excess. It’s through the squandering of wit that wit survives; like money, its true value lies in its scarcity—the more common it is, the less valuable it becomes.

The Dictionary of National Biography

When I look at the articles on Handel, on Dr. Arnold, or indeed on almost any one whom I know anything about, I feel that such a work as the Dictionary of National Biography adds more terror to death than death of itself could inspire.  That is one reason why I let myself go so unreservedly in these notes.  If the colours in which I paint myself fail to please, at any rate I shall have had the laying them on myself.

When I read the articles about Handel, Dr. Arnold, or really anyone I know anything about, I feel like a work like the Dictionary of National Biography makes death seem even scarier than it is by itself. That's one reason why I’m so open in these notes. If the way I portray myself doesn't appeal to you, at least I’ve created the picture myself.

The World

The world will, in the end, follow only those who have despised as well as served it.

The world will ultimately follow only those who have both scorned and served it.

Accumulated Dinners

The world and all that has ever been in it will one day be as much forgotten as what we ate for dinner forty years ago.  Very likely, but the fact that we shall not remember much about a dinner forty years hence does not make it less agreeable now, and after all it is only the accumulation of these forgotten dinners that makes the dinner of forty years hence possible.

The world and everything that has ever existed will eventually be as forgotten as what we had for dinner forty years ago. It's likely, but just because we might not remember much about a meal forty years from now doesn't make it any less enjoyable today. In the end, it's the collection of those forgotten dinners that allows for the dinner of forty years later to happen.

Judging the Dead

The dead should be judged as we judge criminals, impartially, but they should be allowed the benefit of a doubt.  When no doubt exists they should be hanged out of hand for about a hundred years.  After that time they may come down and move about under a cloud.  After about 2000 years they may do what they like.  If Nero murdered his mother—well, he murdered his mother and there’s an end.  The moral guilt of an action varies inversely as the squares of its distances in time and space, social, psychological, physiological or topographical, from ourselves.  Not so its moral merit: this loses no lustre through time and distance.

The dead should be judged like we judge criminals, fairly, but they should be given the benefit of the doubt. When there’s no doubt, they should be punished without mercy for about a hundred years. After that time, they can come down and move around under a shadow. After about 2000 years, they can do whatever they want. If Nero killed his mother—well, he killed his mother, and that’s that. The moral guilt of an action decreases the further away it is from us in time and space, whether that’s social, psychological, physiological, or geographical. But the moral merit of an action: that doesn’t lose its value with time and distance.

Good is like gold, it will not rust or tarnish and it is rare, but there is some of it everywhere.  Evil is like water, it abounds, is cheap, soon fouls, but runs itself clear of taint.

Good is like gold; it doesn’t rust or lose its luster, and it’s rare, but you can find it everywhere. Evil is like water; it’s abundant, inexpensive, quickly becomes polluted, but eventually flows clear of any stain.

Myself and My Books

Bodily offspring I do not leave, but mental offspring I do.  Well, my books do not have to be sent to school and college and then insist on going into the Church or take to drinking or marry their mother’s maid.

Bodily children I don’t have, but I do have mental ones. Well, my books don’t need to be sent to school or college, don’t insist on entering the Church, don’t turn to drinking, and don’t marry their mother’s maid.

My Son

I have often told my son that he must begin by finding me a wife to become his mother who shall satisfy both himself and me.  But this is only one of the many rocks on which we have hitherto split.  We should never have got on together; I should have had to cut him off with a shilling either for laughing at Homer, or for refusing to laugh at him, or both, or neither, but still cut him off.  So I settled the matter long ago by turning a deaf ear to his importunities and sticking to it that I would not get him at all.  Yet his thin ghost visits me at times and, though he knows that it is no use pestering me further, he looks at me so wistfully and reproachfully that I am half-inclined to turn tall, take my chance about his mother and ask him to let me get him after all.  But I should show a clean pair of heels if he said “Yes.”

I’ve often told my son that he needs to find a wife for himself who will also meet my expectations as his mother. But this is just one of the many issues we’ve had in the past. We would have never gotten along; I would have had to cut him off with just a shilling for either laughing at Homer, for refusing to laugh at him, or both, or neither, yet still cut him off. So I decided a long time ago to ignore his pleas and stick to my decision not to help him at all. Still, his thin ghost visits me sometimes, and even though he knows it won't help to keep pestering me, he looks at me with such longing and disappointment that I’m tempted to reconsider and take a risk on finding his mother, asking him if I can actually help him after all. But I’d make a run for it if he said “Yes.”

Besides, he would probably be a girl.

Besides, he would probably be a girl.

Obscurity

When I am dead, do not let people say of me that I suffered from misrepresentation and neglect.  I was neglected and misrepresented; very likely not half as much as I supposed but, nevertheless, to some extent neglected and misrepresented.  I growl at this sometimes but, if the question were seriously put to me whether I would go on as I am or become famous in my own lifetime, I have no hesitation about which I should prefer.  I will willingly pay the few hundreds of pounds which the neglect of my works costs me in order to be let alone and not plagued by the people who would come round me if I were known.  The probability is that I shall remain after my death as obscure as I am now; if this be so, the obscurity will, no doubt, be merited, and if not, my books will work not only as well without my having been known in my lifetime but a great deal better; my follies and blunders will the better escape notice to the enhancing of the value of anything that may be found in my books.  The only two things I should greatly care about if I had more money are a few more country outings and a little more varied and better cooked food.  [1882.]

When I’m gone, don’t let anyone say I suffered from being misunderstood and ignored. I was overlooked and misrepresented; probably not as much as I thought, but still to some degree. I sometimes complain about it, but if you asked me whether I'd rather continue as I am or be famous in my lifetime, I wouldn't hesitate to choose the former. I would gladly pay the few hundred pounds my neglected work has cost me just to be left alone and not bothered by the people who would flock to me if I were well-known. Chances are, I’ll remain as obscure after my death as I am now; if that’s the case, I guess the obscurity is deserved, and if it’s not, my books will probably perform just as well, if not better, without my name being recognized in my lifetime. My mistakes and missteps will be less noticed, which will enhance the value of whatever can be found in my books. The only two things I’d really care about if I had more money are a few extra trips to the countryside and a bit more variety and better-prepared meals. [1882.]

P.S.—I have long since obtained everything that a reasonable man can wish for.  [1895.]

P.S.—I have long since gotten everything that a reasonable person could want. [1895.]

Posthumous Honours

I see Cecil Rhodes has just been saying that he was a lucky man, inasmuch as such honours as are now being paid him generally come to a man after his death and not before it.  This is all very well for a politician whose profession immerses him in public life, but the older I grow the more satisfied I am that there can be no greater misfortune for a man of letters or of contemplation than to be recognised in his own lifetime.  Fortunately the greater man he is, and hence the greater the misfortune he would incur, the less likelihood there is that he will incur it.  [1897.]

I see Cecil Rhodes has just been saying that he was a lucky guy because honors like the ones he’s receiving usually come to someone after they die, not before. This is fine for a politician whose career keeps him in the spotlight, but the older I get, the more I believe there’s no greater misfortune for a writer or a thinker than to be recognized while they’re still alive. Fortunately, the more accomplished a person is—and therefore the greater the misfortune they might face—the less likely it is that they will actually face it. [1897.]

Posthumous Recognition

Shall I be remembered after death?  I sometimes think and hope so.  But I trust I may not be found out (if I ever am found out, and if I ought to be found out at all) before my death.  It would bother me very much and I should be much happier and better as I am.  [1880.]

Shall I be remembered after I die? I sometimes think about it and hope so. But I hope I won't be discovered (if I ever am discovered, and if I should be discovered at all) before my death. It would upset me a lot, and I would be much happier and better off as I am. [1880.]

P.S.—This note I leave unaltered.  I am glad to see that I had so much sense thirteen years ago.  What I thought then, I think now, only with greater confidence and confirmation.  [1893.]

P.S.—I leave this note unchanged. I'm happy to see that I had so much sense thirteen years ago. What I thought then, I still think now, but with more confidence and certainty. [1893.]

Analysis of the Sales of My Books

 

Copies Sold

Units Sold

Cash Profit

Cash Earnings

Cash Loss

Cash Loss

Total Profit

Total Profit

Total loss

Complete loss

Value of stock

Stock value

Erewhon

Erewhon

3843

3843

62

62

10

10

10

10

Sure! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.

69

69

3

3

10

10

 

Sure! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.

 

6

6

13

13

0

0

The Fair Haven

The Fair Haven

442

442

41

41

2

2

2

2

Understood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.

27

27

18

18

2

2

13

13

4

4

0

0

Life and Habit

Life and Habits

640

640

Understood. Please provide the text you would like to be modernized.

4

4

17

17

1.5

7

7

19

19

1.5

Understood. Please provide the text for modernization.

12

12

16

16

3

3

Evolution Old & New

Evolution: Past and Present

541

541

Understood! Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize.

103

103

11

11

10

10

Sure, please provide the text you'd like me to modernize.

89

89

13

13

10

10

13

13

18

18

0

0

Unconscious Memory

Implicit Memory

272

272

Understood! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.

38

38

13

13

5

5

Understood! Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize.

38

38

13

13

5

5

Understood! Please provide the text for me to modernize.

Alps and Sanctuaries

Alps and Retreats

332

332

Understood. Please provide the text you would like modernized.

113

113

6

6

4

4

Understood! Please provide the text for modernization.

110

110

18

18

4

4

22

22

8

8

0

0

Selections from Previous Works

Selections from Earlier Works

120

120

Understood! Please provide the text that needs to be modernized.

51

51

4

4

10½

10.5

Understood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.

48

48

10

10

10½

10.5

2

2

14

14

0

0

Luck or Cunning?

Luck or Strategy?

284

284

Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.

41

41

6

6

4

4

Understood! Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize.

13

13

18

18

10

10

27

27

7

7

6

6

Ex Voto

Ex Voto

217

217

Sure! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.

147

147

18

18

0

0

111

111

8

8

0

0

36

36

10

10

0

0

Life and Letters of Dr. Butler

Life and Letters of Dr. Butler

201

201

Understood! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.

216

216

18

18

0

0

Understood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.

193

193

18

18

0

0

23

23

0

0

0

0

The Authoress of the Odyssey

The author of the Odyssey

165

165

Understood! Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize.

81

81

1

1

3

3

Got it! Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize.

59

59

10

10

3

3

21

21

11

11

0

0

The Iliad in English Prose

The Iliad in English prose

157

157

Understood! Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.

89

89

4

4

8

8

Understood. Please provide the text for modernization.

77

77

6

6

8

8

11

11

18

18

0

0

A Holbein Card

A Holbein Playing Card

6

6

Understood! Please provide the text for modernization.

8

8

1

1

9

9

Understood! Please provide the text for me to modernize.

8

8

1

1

9

9

Understood. Please provide the text you would like me to modernize.

A Book of Essays

An Essay Collection

0

0

Sure, please provide the text you'd like me to modernize.

3

3

11

11

9

9

Understood! Please provide the text you'd like me to modernize.

Understood. Please provide the text for modernization.

3

3

11

11

9

9

 

 

62

62

10

10

10

10

960

960

17

17

6

6

77

77

2

2

11½

11.5

779

779

18

18

1.5

195

195

11

11

6

6

To this must be added my book on the Sonnets in respect of which I have had no account as yet but am over a hundred pounds out of pocket by it so far—little of which, I fear, is ever likely to come back.

To this, I should include my book on the Sonnets, for which I haven't received any payment yet, but I've already spent over a hundred pounds on it—little of which, I’m afraid, is ever likely to come back.

It will be noted that my public appears to be a declining one; I attribute this to the long course of practical boycott to which I have been subjected for so many years, or, if not boycott, of sneer, snarl and misrepresentation.  I cannot help it, nor if the truth were known, am I at any pains to try to do so. [369]

It seems that my audience is shrinking; I think this is due to the ongoing practical boycott I've faced for so many years, or if not a boycott, then definitely a lot of sneering, snarking, and misrepresentation. I can't change that, and to be honest, I’m not really trying to. [369]

Worth Doing

If I deserve to be remembered, it will be not so much for anything I have written, or for any new way of looking at old facts which I may have suggested, as for having shown that a man of no special ability, with no literary connections, not particularly laborious, fairly, but not supremely, accurate as far as he goes, and not travelling far either for his facts or from them, may yet, by being perfectly square, sticking to his point, not letting his temper run away with him, and biding his time, be a match for the most powerful literary and scientific coterie that England has ever known.

If I deserve to be remembered, it won't be so much for anything I've written or for any new perspectives on old facts that I've suggested, but for demonstrating that a person with no special talent, no literary connections, not particularly hard-working, fairly but not exceptionally accurate in his work, and not venturing far for his facts or thoughts, can still, by being completely honest, staying focused, keeping his cool, and being patient, stand up to the most influential literary and scientific group that England has ever seen.

I hope it may be said of me that I discomfited an unscrupulous, self-seeking clique, and set a more wholesome example myself.  To have done this is the best of all discoveries.

I hope people can say I exposed a shameless, self-serving group and set a better example myself. Achieving this is the greatest discovery of all.

Doubt and Hope

I will not say that the more than coldness with which my books are received does not frighten me and make me distrust myself.  It must do so.  But every now and then I meet with such support as gives me hope again.  Still, I know nothing.  [1890.]

I won’t pretend that the indifference with which people receive my books doesn’t scare me and make me doubt myself. It definitely does. But every now and then, I find some support that restores my hope. Still, I remain clueless. [1890.]

Unburying Cities

Of course I am jealous of the éclat that Flinders Petrie, Layard and Schliemann get for having unburied cities, but I do not see why I need be; the great thing is to unbury the city, and I believe I have unburied Scheria as effectually as Schliemann unburied Troy.  [The Authoress of the Odyssey.]  True, Scheria was above ground all the time and only wanted a little common sense to find it; nevertheless people have had all the facts before them for over 2500 years and have been looking more or less all the time without finding.  I do not see why it is more meritorious to uncover physically with a spade than spiritually with a little of the very commonest common sense.

Of course I’m jealous of the fame that Flinders Petrie, Layard, and Schliemann get for discovering buried cities, but I don’t see why I should be; the main accomplishment is uncovering the city, and I believe I’ve revealed Scheria as effectively as Schliemann revealed Troy. [The Authoress of the Odyssey.] True, Scheria was above ground the whole time and just needed a bit of common sense to find, yet people have had all the facts in front of them for over 2500 years and have been searching, more or less, all this time without success. I don’t understand why it’s seen as more impressive to physically uncover something with a spade than to do so spiritually with a bit of the simplest common sense.

Apologia

i

When I am dead I would rather people thought me better than I was instead of worse; but if they think me worse, I cannot help it and, if it matters at all, it will matter more to them than to me.  The one reputation I deprecate is that of having been ill-used.  I deprecate this because it would tend to depress and discourage others from playing the game that I have played.  I will therefore forestall misconception on this head.

When I'm gone, I'd prefer people to remember me as better than I really was rather than worse; but if they think less of me, I can’t change that, and honestly, it will impact them more than it will me. The one reputation I don’t want is that of having been mistreated. I don’t want that because it could bring others down and discourage them from joining the path I've taken. So, I’ll clarify this ahead of time.

As regards general good-fortune, I am nearly fifty-five years old and for the last thirty years have never been laid up with illness nor had any physical pain that I can remember, not even toothache.  Except sometimes, when a little over-driven, I have had uninterrupted good health ever since I was about five-and-twenty.

As for my general good fortune, I’m almost fifty-five years old and for the last thirty years, I’ve never been sick or felt any physical pain that I can recall, not even a toothache. Except for a few times when I pushed myself too hard, I’ve enjoyed uninterrupted good health since I was around twenty-five.

Of mental suffering I have had my share—as who has not?—but most of what I have suffered has been, though I did not think so at the time, either imaginary, or unnecessary and, so far, it has been soon forgotten.  It has been much less than it very easily might have been if the luck had not now and again gone with me, and probably I have suffered less than most people, take it all round.  Like every one else, however, I have the scars of old wounds; very few of these wounds were caused by anything which was essential in the nature of things; most, if not all of them, have been due to faults of heart and head on my own part and on that of others which, one would have thought, might have been easily avoided if in practice it had not turned out otherwise.

I've had my share of mental suffering—who hasn’t?—but most of what I’ve experienced has been, though I didn’t realize it at the time, either imaginary or unnecessary, and it’s mostly been forgotten. It’s been much less than it easily could have been if I hadn’t had some luck on my side, and I’ve probably suffered less than most people overall. Like everyone else, though, I carry the scars of old wounds; very few of these wounds were caused by anything essential to life itself; most, if not all, stem from mistakes of heart and mind on my part and others, which you would think could have been easily avoided, but in practice, it didn’t turn out that way.

For many years I was in a good deal of money difficulty, but since my father’s death I have had no trouble on this score—greatly otherwise.  Even when things were at their worst, I never missed my two months’ summer Italian trip since 1876, except one year and then I went to Mont St. Michel and enjoyed it very much.  It was those Italian trips that enabled me to weather the storm.  At other times I am engrossed with work that fascinates me.  I am surrounded by people to whom I am attached and who like me in return so far as I can judge.  In Alfred [his clerk and attendant] I have the best body-guard and the most engaging of any man in London.  I live quietly but happily.  And if this is being ill-used I should like to know what being well-used is.

For many years, I struggled with money issues, but since my father's death, I haven't had any problems with that—it's been quite the opposite. Even when things were at their worst, I never missed my two-month summer trip to Italy since 1876, except for one year when I went to Mont St. Michel, and I enjoyed that a lot. Those Italian trips helped me get through tough times. At other times, I'm deeply absorbed in work that fascinates me. I'm surrounded by people I care about, and who seem to care about me, as far as I can tell. With Alfred [my clerk and attendant], I have the best bodyguard and the most charming man in London. I live simply but happily. And if this is being mistreated, I’d really like to know what it means to be treated well.

I do not deny, however, that I have been ill-used.  I have been used abominably.  The positive amount of good or ill fortune, however, is not the test of either the one or the other; the true measure lies in the relative proportion of each and the way in which they have been distributed, and by this I claim, after deducting all bad luck, to be left with a large balance of good.

I don't deny that I've been treated badly. I've been treated terribly. The actual amount of good or bad fortune isn’t the real measure; what really matters is the relative amounts of each and how they've been distributed. So, after considering all my bad luck, I believe I still have a significant amount of good fortune left.

Some people think I must be depressed and discouraged because my books do not make more noise; but, after all, whether people read my books or no is their affair, not mine.  I know by my sales that few read my books.  If I write at all, it follows that I want to be read and miss my mark if I am not.  So also with Narcissus.  Whatever I do falls dead, and I would rather people let me see that they liked it.  To this extent I certainly am disappointed.  I am sorry not to have wooed the public more successfully.  But I have been told that winning and wearing generally take something of the gilt off the wooing, and I am disposed to acquiesce cheerfully in not finding myself so received as that I need woo no longer.  If I were to succeed I should be bored to death by my success in a fortnight and so, I am convinced, would my friends.  Retirement is to me a condition of being able to work at all.  I would rather write more books and music than spend much time over what I have already written; nor do I see how I could get retirement if I were not to a certain extent unpopular.

Some people think I must be feeling down and discouraged because my books don't get more attention; but really, whether people choose to read my books or not is up to them, not me. I know from my sales that not many people read my books. If I write at all, it means I want to be read and I fail if I'm not. The same goes for Narcissus. Everything I do seems to fall flat, and I’d prefer if people showed me that they appreciated it. To that extent, I am definitely disappointed. I'm sorry I haven't managed to win over the public more effectively. However, I've been told that achieving recognition usually takes some of the sparkle out of the pursuit, and I’m inclined to accept that I'm not being received in a way that would make me stop trying. If I were to succeed, I’d be bored out of my mind with my success in two weeks, and I believe my friends would feel the same. For me, having some solitude is essential to being able to work at all. I’d rather write more books and music than spend a lot of time focusing on what I’ve already created; plus, I can't see how I could have that solitude if I weren't somewhat unpopular.

It is this feeling on my own part—omnipresent with me when I am doing my best to please, that is to say, whenever I write—which is the cause why I do not, as people say, “get on.”  If I had greatly cared about getting on I think I could have done so.  I think I could even now write an anonymous book that would take the public as much as Erewhon did.  Perhaps I could not, but I think I could.  The reason why I do not try is because I like doing other things better.  What I most enjoy is running the view of evolution set forth in Life and Habit and making things less easy for the hacks of literature and science; or perhaps even more I enjoy taking snapshots and writing music, though aware that I had better not enquire whether this last is any good or not.  In fact there is nothing I do that I do not enjoy so keenly that I cannot tear myself away from it, and people who thus indulge themselves cannot have things both ways.  I am so intent upon pleasing myself that I have no time to cater for the public.  Some of them like things in the same way as I do; that class of people I try to please as well as ever I can.  With others I have no concern, and they know it so they have no concern with me.  I do not believe there is any other explanation of my failure to get on than this, nor do I see that any further explanation is needed.  [1890.]

It’s this feeling I have—always there when I’m trying my hardest to please, which is when I write—that’s why I don’t, as people say, “get ahead.” If I truly cared about getting ahead, I think I could have. I believe I could even write an anonymous book that would capture the public’s attention just like Erewhon did. Maybe I couldn’t, but I think I could. The reason I don’t try is that I enjoy doing other things more. What I enjoy most is exploring the idea of evolution presented in Life and Habit and making things more challenging for the writers in literature and science; or maybe even more, I enjoy taking photos and writing music, even though I know I’d better not ask if what I’m doing is any good. In fact, there’s nothing I do that I don’t enjoy so much that I can’t pull myself away from it, and people who indulge themselves like this can’t have it both ways. I’m so focused on pleasing myself that I don’t have time to cater to the public. Some people like things the same way I do; for that group, I try to please as much as I can. With others, I have no interest, and they know it, so they have no interest in me either. I don’t think there’s any other reason for my failure to get ahead than this, nor do I see any need for further explanation. [1890.]

ii

Two or three people have asked me to return to the subject of my supposed failure and explain it more fully from my own point of view.  I have had the subject on my notes for some time and it has bored me so much that it has had a good deal to do with my not having kept my Note-Books posted recently.

Two or three people have asked me to revisit the topic of my supposed failure and explain it more fully from my perspective. I've had this topic in my notes for a while, and it's bored me so much that it's contributed to my not keeping my Note-Books updated lately.

Briefly, in order to scotch that snake, my failure has not been so great as people say it has.  I believe my reputation stands well with the best people.  Granted that it makes no noise, but I have not been willing to take the pains necessary to achieve what may be called guinea-pig review success, because, although I have been in financial difficulties, I did not seriously need success from a money point of view, and because I hated the kind of people I should have had to court and kow-tow to if I went in for that sort of thing.  I could never have carried it through, even if I had tried, and instinctively declined to try.  A man cannot be said to have failed, because he did not get what he did not try for.  What I did try for I believe I have got as fully as any reasonable man can expect, and I have every hope that I shall get it still more both so long as I live and after I am dead.

In short, to put that rumor to rest, my failures haven’t been as bad as people claim. I believe my reputation is solid among good people. Sure, it isn’t flashy, but I never wanted to put in the work to achieve what could be called “guinea-pig review success,” because even though I faced financial struggles, I didn’t really need that kind of success for money. Plus, I didn't like the kind of people I'd have to impress and flatter to pursue that route. I could never have pulled it off, even if I had tried, and I instinctively chose not to try. A man can’t be considered a failure just because he didn’t get something he didn’t strive for. What I aimed for, I believe I’ve achieved as much as any reasonable person could hope for, and I’m optimistic that I’ll continue to gain even more, both while I’m alive and after I’m gone.

If, however, people mean that I am to explain how it is I have not made more noise in spite of my own indolence in matter, the answer is that those who do not either push the themselves into noise, or give some one else a substantial interest in pushing them, never do get made a noise about.  How can they?  I was too lazy to go about from publisher to publisher and to decline to publish a book myself if I could not find some one to speculate in it.  I could take any amount of trouble about writing a book but, so long as I could lay my hand on the money to bring it out with, I found publishers’ antechambers so little to my taste that I soon tired and fell back on the short and easy method of publishing my book myself.  Of course, therefore, it failed to sell.  I know more about these things now, and will never publish a book at my own risk again, or at any rate I will send somebody else round the antechambers with it for a good while before I pay for publishing it.

If, however, people want me to explain why I haven't made more noise despite my laziness, the answer is that those who don’t push themselves into the spotlight or give someone else a strong reason to promote them never get heard. How could they? I was too lazy to go from publisher to publisher and refuse to publish a book myself if I couldn’t find someone willing to invest in it. I could put in a lot of effort writing a book, but as long as I had the funds to publish it, I found the waiting rooms of publishers so unappealing that I quickly got bored and resorted to the simple and easy option of self-publishing. Naturally, it didn’t sell. I know a lot more about this now and will never take the risk of publishing a book on my own again. At the very least, I’ll send someone else to the publishers for a good while before I pay for it to be published.

I should have liked notoriety and financial success well enough if they could have been had for the asking, but I was not going to take any trouble about them and, as a natural consequence, I did not get them.  If I had wanted them with the same passionate longing that has led me to pursue every enquiry that I ever have pursued, I should have got them fast enough.  It is very rarely that I have failed to get what I have really tried for and, as a matter of fact, I believe I have been a great deal happier for not trying than I should have been if I had had notoriety thrust upon me.

I would have liked fame and financial success well enough if they were easy to get, but I wasn't going to put in any effort for them, and naturally, I didn't get them. If I had wanted them with the same intense desire that has driven me to pursue every inquiry I've ever made, I would have gotten them quickly enough. I rarely fail to achieve what I've genuinely tried for, and honestly, I believe I've been much happier for not trying than I would have been if fame had been forced upon me.

I confess I should like my books to pay their expenses and put me a little in pocket besides—because I want to do more for Alfred than I see my way to doing.  As a natural consequence of beginning to care I have begun to take pains, and am advising with the Society of Authors as to what will be my best course.  Very likely they can do nothing for me, but at any rate I shall have tried.

I admit I want my books to cover their costs and earn me a little extra money because I want to do more for Alfred than I currently can. Naturally, since I’ve started to care, I’ve begun to put in the effort and am consulting with the Society of Authors about the best path for me. They might not be able to help me at all, but at least I’ll have made the attempt.

One reason, and that the chief, why I have made no noise, is now explained.  It remains to add that from first to last I have been unorthodox and militant in every book that I have written.  I made enemies of the parsons once for all with my first two books.  [Erewhon and The Fair Haven.]  The evolution books made the Darwinians, and through them the scientific world in general, even more angry than The Fair Haven had made the clergy so that I had no friends, for the clerical and scientific people rule the roast between them.

One main reason I haven't made a fuss is now clear. I should add that I've been unconventional and outspoken in every book I've written. I turned the clergy against me right from my first two books, Erewhon and The Fair Haven. The books on evolution made the Darwinists and, through them, the scientific community even angrier than The Fair Haven had upset the clergy, leaving me with no allies, as the religious and scientific communities hold all the power together.

I have chosen the fighting road rather than the hang-on-to-a-great-man road, and what can a man who does this look for except that people should try to silence him in whatever way they think will be most effectual?  In my case they have thought it best to pretend that I am non-existent.  It is no part of my business to complain of my opponents for choosing their own line; my business is to defeat them as best I can upon their own line, and I imagine I shall do most towards this by not allowing myself to be made unhappy merely because I am not fussed about, and by going on writing more books and adding to my pile.

I chose the path of struggle instead of just clinging to a powerful figure, and what can someone like me expect other than that people will try to silence me in whatever way they think will work best? In my situation, they've decided it's better to act like I don't exist. It’s not my place to criticize my opponents for following their own path; my job is to beat them as best I can on their terms. I think I can achieve this by not letting myself be unhappy simply because I'm overlooked, and by continuing to write more books and add to my collection.

My Work

Why should I write about this as though any one will wish to read what I write?

Why should I write about this like anyone will actually want to read what I write?

People sometimes give me to understand that it is a piece of ridiculous conceit on my part to jot down so many notes about myself, since it implies a confidence that I shall one day be regarded as an interesting person.  I answer that neither I nor they can form any idea as to whether I shall be wanted when I am gone or no.  The chances are that I shall not.  I am quite aware of it.  So the chances are that I shall not live to be 85; but I have no right to settle it so.  If I do as Captain Don did [Life of Dr. Butler, I, opening of Chapter VIII], and invest every penny I have in an annuity that shall terminate when I am 89, who knows but that I may live on to 96, as he did, and have seven years without any income at all?  I prefer the modest insurance of keeping up my notes which others may burn or no as they please.

People sometimes imply that it’s ridiculous vanity for me to take so many notes about myself, since it suggests I believe I’ll be seen as an interesting person someday. I reply that neither I nor they can know whether I’ll be remembered once I’m gone. The likelihood is that I won’t be. I’m fully aware of that. Just as it’s likely I won’t live to be 85; but I have no right to assume that. If I do what Captain Don did [Life of Dr. Butler, I, opening of Chapter VIII], and invest every cent I have in an annuity that will end when I’m 89, who knows, I might live to be 96 like he did, and end up with seven years of no income at all? I’d rather have the humble assurance of keeping my notes, which others can choose to dispose of as they wish.

I am not one of those who have travelled along a set road towards an end that I have foreseen and desired to reach.  I have made a succession of jaunts or pleasure trips from meadow to meadow, but no long journey unless life itself be reckoned so.  Nevertheless, I have strayed into no field in which I have not found a flower that was worth the finding, I have gone into no public place in which I have not found sovereigns lying about on the ground which people would not notice and be at the trouble of picking up.  They have been things which any one else has had—or at any rate a very large number of people have had—as good a chance of picking up as I had.  My finds have none of them come as the result of research or severe study, though they have generally given me plenty to do in the way of research and study as soon as I had got hold of them.  I take it that these are the most interesting—or whatever the least offensive word may be:

I’m not someone who has traveled a specific path toward a goal I’ve envisioned and wanted to reach. I’ve taken a series of small trips from one place to another for fun, but nothing long unless you count life itself. Still, I haven’t wandered into a field without finding a flower worth discovering. I haven’t visited a public place where I didn’t find treasures lying around that people overlooked and didn’t bother to pick up. Others have had as much chance as I did of finding these things—at least a lot of people have. My discoveries didn’t come from research or deep study, even though they often led me to do a lot of research and study once I had them. I believe these are the most interesting—or at least the least objectionable word might be:

1.  The emphasising the analogies between crime and disease.  [Erewhon.]

1. The emphasis on the similarities between crime and disease. [Erewhon.]

2.  The emphasising also the analogies between the development of the organs of our bodies and of those which are not incorporate with our bodies and which we call tools or machines.  [Erewhon and Luck or Cunning?]

2. The emphasis is also on the similarities between the development of our body's organs and those tools or machines that aren't part of our bodies. [Erewhon and Luck or Cunning?]

3.  The clearing up the history of the events in connection with the death, or rather crucifixion, of Jesus Christ; and a reasonable explanation, first, of the belief on the part of the founders of Christianity that their master had risen from the dead and, secondly, of what might follow from belief in a single supposed miracle.  [The Evidence for the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, The Fair Haven and Erewhon Revisited.]

3. The clarification of the events surrounding the death, or more accurately, the crucifixion, of Jesus Christ; and a sensible explanation, first, of why the founders of Christianity believed that their teacher had risen from the dead and, second, of the implications of believing in a single supposed miracle. [The Evidence for the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, The Fair Haven and Erewhon Revisited.]

4.  The perception that personal identity cannot be denied between parents and offspring without at the same time denying it as between the different ages (and hence moments) in the life of the individual and, as a corollary on this, the ascription of the phenomena of heredity to the same source as those of memory.  [Life and Habit.]

4. The belief that personal identity cannot be separated between parents and their children without also separating it across the different stages (and moments) in an individual's life, and as a result of this, attributing the phenomena of heredity to the same source as those of memory. [Life and Habit.]

5.  The tidying up the earlier history of the theory of evolution.  [Evolution Old and New.]

5. The organization of the earlier history of the theory of evolution. [Evolution Old and New.]

6.  The exposure and discomfiture of Charles Darwin and Wallace and their followers.  [Evolution Old and New, Unconscious Memory, Luck or Cunning? and “The Deadlock in Darwinism” in the Universal Review republished in Essays on Life, Art and Science.] [376]

6. The exposure and discomfort of Charles Darwin, Wallace, and their supporters. [Evolution Old and New, Unconscious Memory, Luck or Cunning? and “The Deadlock in Darwinism” in the Universal Review republished in Essays on Life, Art and Science.] [376]

7.  The perception of the principle that led organic life to split up into two main divisions, animal and vegetable.  [Alps and Sanctuaries, close of Chapter XIII: Luck or Cunning?]

7. The understanding of the principle that caused organic life to divide into two main categories, animal and plant. [Alps and Sanctuaries, close of Chapter XIII: Luck or Cunning?]

8.  The perception that, if the kinetic theory is held good, our thought of a thing, whatever that thing may be, is in reality an exceedingly weak dilution of the actual thing itself.  [Stated, but not fully developed, in Luck or Cunning?  Chapter XIX, also in some of the foregoing notes.]

8. The idea that if the kinetic theory is valid, our understanding of any object, no matter what it is, is actually a very faint representation of the real thing itself. [Stated, but not fully developed, in Luck or Cunning? Chapter XIX, also in some of the previous notes.]

9.  The restitution to Giovanni and Gentile Bellini of their portraits in the Louvre and the finding of five other portraits of these two painters of whom Crowe and Cavalcaselle and Layard maintain that we have no portrait.  [Letters to the Athenæum, &c.]

9. The return of Giovanni and Gentile Bellini's portraits to the Louvre and the discovery of five other portraits of these two painters, about whom Crowe, Cavalcaselle, and Layard argue that no portraits exist. [Letters to the Athenæum, &c.]

10.  The restoration to Holbein of the drawing in the Basel Museum called La Danse.  [Universal Review, Nov., 1889.]

10. The return of the drawing titled La Danse to Holbein in the Basel Museum. [Universal Review, Nov., 1889.]

11.  The calling attention to Gaudenzio Ferrari and putting him before the public with something like the emphasis that he deserves.  [Ex Voto.]

11. The spotlighting of Gaudenzio Ferrari and presenting him to the public with the kind of emphasis he deserves. [Ex Voto.]

12.  The discovery of a life-sized statue of Leonardo da Vinci by Gaudenzio Ferrari.  [Ex Voto.]

12. The discovery of a life-sized statue of Leonardo da Vinci by Gaudenzio Ferrari. [Ex Voto.]

13.  The unearthing of the Flemish sculptor Jean de Wespin (called Tabachetti in Italy) and of Giovanni Antonio Paracca.  [Ex Voto.]

13. The discovery of the Flemish sculptor Jean de Wespin (known as Tabachetti in Italy) and Giovanni Antonio Paracca. [Ex Voto.]

14.  The finding out that the Odyssey was written at Trapani, the clearing up of the whole topography of the poem, and the demonstration, as it seems to me, that the poem was written by a woman and not by a man.  Indeed, I may almost claim to have discovered the Odyssey, so altered does it become when my views of it are adopted.  And robbing Homer of the Odyssey has rendered the Iliad far more intelligible; besides, I have set the example of how he should be approached.  [The Authoress of the Odyssey.]

14. The discovery that the Odyssey was written in Trapani, the clarification of the entire setting of the poem, and the evidence, in my opinion, that it was written by a woman rather than a man. In fact, I could almost say I've uncovered the Odyssey, as it changes so much when you consider my perspective. Taking the Odyssey away from Homer has made the Iliad much clearer; moreover, I've shown how he should be interpreted. [The Authoress of the Odyssey.]

15.  The attempt to do justice to my grandfather by writing The Life and Letters of Dr. Butler for which, however, I had special facilities.

15. The effort to honor my grandfather by writing The Life and Letters of Dr. Butler, for which I had unique resources.

16.  In Narcissus and Ulysses I made an attempt, the failure of which has yet to be shown, to return to the principles of Handel and take them up where he left off.

16. In Narcissus and Ulysses, I tried, though it remains to be seen how unsuccessful I was, to revisit the ideas of Handel and continue from where he stopped.

17.  The elucidation of Shakespeare’s Sonnets.  [Shakespeare’s Sonnets Reconsidered.]

17. The clarification of Shakespeare’s Sonnets.  [Shakespeare’s Sonnets Reconsidered.]

I say nothing here about my novel [The Way of All Flesh] because it cannot be published till after my death; nor about my translations of the Iliad and the Odyssey.  Nevertheless these three books also were a kind of picking up of sovereigns, for the novel contains records of things I saw happening rather than imaginary incidents, and the principles on which the translations are made were obvious to any one willing to take and use them.

I won't say anything here about my novel [The Way of All Flesh] because it can't be published until after I'm gone; nor will I mention my translations of the Iliad and the Odyssey. However, these three works were also a way of collecting coins because the novel includes accounts of real events I witnessed instead of fictional stories, and the principles behind the translations are clear to anyone willing to adopt and apply them.

The foregoing is the list of my “mares’-nests,” and it is, I presume, this list which made Mr. Arthur Platt call me the Galileo of Mares’-Nests in his diatribe on my Odyssey theory in the Classical Review.  I am not going to argue here that they are all, as I do not doubt, sound; what I want to say is that they are every one of them things that lay on the surface and open to any one else just as much as to me.  Not one of them required any profundity of thought or extensive research; they only required that he who approached the various subjects with which they have to do should keep his eyes open and try to put himself in the position of the various people whom they involve.  Above all, it was necessary to approach them without any preconceived theory and to be ready to throw over any conclusion the moment the evidence pointed against it.  The reason why I have discarded so few theories that I have put forward—and at this moment I cannot recollect one from which there has been any serious attempt to dislodge me—is because I never allowed myself to form a theory at all till I found myself driven on to it whether I would or no.  As long as it was possible to resist I resisted, and only yielded when I could not think that an intelligent jury under capable guidance would go with me if I resisted longer.  I never went in search of any one of my theories; I never knew what it was going to be till I had found it; they came and found me, not I them.  Such being my own experience, I begin to be pretty certain that other people have had much the same and that the soundest theories have come unsought and without much effort.

The list I've shared above includes my “mares’-nests,” and I assume it’s this list that led Mr. Arthur Platt to call me the Galileo of Mares’-Nests in his critique of my Odyssey theory in the Classical Review. I’m not going to argue that they aren’t all, as I firmly believe, valid; what I want to emphasize is that they are all ideas that are readily available for anyone, just like they were for me. None of them required deep thinking or extensive research; they simply needed someone to approach the various topics with their eyes wide open and try to understand the perspectives of the people involved. Most importantly, it was essential to approach these topics without any preconceived notions and be willing to abandon any conclusions as soon as the evidence suggested otherwise. The reason I’ve discarded so few theories I’ve proposed—and I can’t recall one that has faced any serious challenge— is that I never let myself develop a theory until I felt compelled to do so. As long as I could resist, I did, and I only gave in when I believed an informed jury under skilled guidance would side with me if I held out longer. I never set out to discover any of my theories; I never knew what they would be until I found them; they came to me, not the other way around. Given my experience, I’ve started to believe that others have had similar experiences and that the best theories often come unexpectedly and without much effort.

The conclusion, then, of the whole matter is that scientific and literary fortunes are, like money fortunes, made more by saving than in any other way—more through the exercise of the common vulgar essentials, such as sobriety and straightforwardness, than by the more showy enterprises that when they happen to succeed are called genius and when they fail, folly.  The streets are full of sovereigns crying aloud for some one to come and pick them up, only the thick veil of our own insincerity and conceit hides them from us.  He who can most tear this veil from in front of his eyes will be able to see most and to walk off with them.

The conclusion of the entire matter is that achieving success in science and literature is, like making money, more about saving than anything else—more through practicing the basic, common qualities like honesty and straightforwardness than through the flashy endeavors that, if they succeed, are labeled genius, and if they fail, are seen as foolishness. The streets are filled with opportunities calling out for someone to come and seize them, but our own insincerity and arrogance create a thick veil that obscures them. The person who can best tear this veil away from their vision will be able to see the most and walk away with those opportunities.

I should say that the sooner I stop the better.  If on my descent to the nether world I were to be met and welcomed by the shades of those to whom I have done a good turn while I was here, I should be received by a fairly illustrious crowd.  There would be Giovanni and Gentile Bellini, Leonardo da Vinci, Gaudenzio Ferrari, Holbein, Tabachetti, Paracca and D’Enrico; the Authoress of the Odyssey would come and Homer with her; Dr. Butler would bring with him the many forgotten men and women to whom in my memoir I have given fresh life; there would be Buffon, Erasmus Darwin and Lamarck; Shakespeare also would be there and Handel.  I could not wish to find myself in more congenial company and I shall not take it too much to heart if the shade of Charles Darwin glides gloomily away when it sees me coming.

I should say that the sooner I stop, the better. If on my way to the underworld I were to be met and welcomed by the spirits of those I’ve helped while I was here, I’d be greeted by a pretty amazing crowd. There would be Giovanni and Gentile Bellini, Leonardo da Vinci, Gaudenzio Ferrari, Holbein, Tabachetti, Paracca, and D’Enrico; the author of the Odyssey would come along with Homer; Dr. Butler would bring with him the many forgotten men and women to whom I’ve given new life in my memoir; there would be Buffon, Erasmus Darwin, and Lamarck; Shakespeare would also be there, as well as Handel. I couldn’t ask for better company, and I won't be too upset if the shade of Charles Darwin slips away gloomily when he sees me coming.

p. 379XXV
Poems

Prefatory Note

i.  Translation from an Unpublished Work of Herodotus

i.  Translation from an Unpublished Work of Herodotus

ii.  The Shield of Achilles, with Variations

ii.  The Shield of Achilles, with Variations

iii.  The Two Deans

iii. The Two Deans

iv.  On the Italian Priesthood

iv.  The Italian Priesthood

Butler wrote these four pieces while he was an undergraduate at St. John’s College, CambridgeHe kept no copy of any of them, but his friend the Rev. Canon Joseph McCormick, D.D., Rector of St. James’s, Piccadilly, kept copies in a note-book which he lent meThe only one that has appeared in print isThe Shield of Achilles,” which Canon McCormick sent to The Eagle, the magazine of St. John’s College, Cambridge, and it was printed in the number for December 1902, about six months after Butler’s death.

Butler wrote these four pieces while he was an undergraduate at St. John’s College, Cambridge. He didn't keep a copy of any of them, but his friend the Rev. Canon Joseph McCormick, D.D., Rector of St. James’s, Piccadilly, kept copies in a notebook that he lent me. The only one that has been published isThe Shield of Achilles,” which Canon McCormick sent to The Eagle, the magazine of St. John’s College, Cambridge, and it was printed in the December 1902 issue, about six months after Butler’s death.

On the Italian Priesthoodis a rendering of the Italian epigram accompanying it which, with others under the headingAstuzia, Inganno,” is given in Raccolta di Proverbi Toscani di Giuseppe Giusti (Firenze, 1853).

On the Italian Priesthoodis a translation of the Italian epigram that goes along with it, which, along with others under the titleAstuzia, Inganno,” is included in Raccolta di Proverbi Toscani di Giuseppe Giusti (Florence, 1853).

v.  A Psalm of Montreal

v. A Psalm of Montreal

This was written in Canada in 1875.  Butler often recited it and gave copies of it to his friendsKnowing that Mr. Edward Clodd had had something to do with its appearance in the Spectator I wrote asking him to tell me what he remembered about itHe very kindly replied, 29th October, 1905:

This was written in Canada in 1875. Butler often recited it and gave copies of it to his friends. Knowing that Mr. Edward Clodd had a role in its publication in the Spectator I wrote to ask him what he remembered about it. He kindly replied on the 29th of October, 1905:

ThePsalmwas recited to me at the Century Club by ButlerHe gave me a copy of it which I read to the late Chas. Anderson, Vicar of S. John’s, Limehouse, who lent it to Matt. Arnold (when inspecting Anderson’s Schools) who lent it to Richd. Holt Hutton who, with Butler’s consent, printed it in the Spectator of 18th May, 1878.”

ThePsalmwas recited to me at the Century Club by Butler. He gave me a copy of it that I read to the late Chas. Anderson, Vicar of S. John’s, Limehouse, who lent it to Matt. Arnold (when inspecting Anderson’s Schools) who then lent it to Richd. Holt Hutton who, with Butler’s approval, printed it in the Spectator on 18th May, 1878.”

ThePsalm of Montrealwas included in Selections from Previous Works (1884) and in Seven Sonnets, etc.

ThePsalm of Montrealwas included in Selections from Previous Works (1884) and in Seven Sonnets, etc.

vi.  The Righteous Man

vi.  The Good Person

Butler wrote this in 1876; it has appeared before only in 1879 in the Examiner, where it formed part of the correspondenceA Clergyman’s Doubtsof which the letter signedEthicshas already been given in this volume (see p. 304 ante).  “The Righteous Manwas signedX.Y.Z.and, in order to connect it with the discussion, Butler prefaced it with a note comparing it to the last six inches of a line of railway; there is no part of the road so ugly, so little travelled over, or so useless generally, but it is the end, at any rate, of a very long thing.

Butler wrote this in 1876; it was first published in 1879 in the Examiner, where it was part of the correspondenceA Clergyman’s Doubts,” and the letter signedEthicshas already been included in this volume (see p. 304 ante). “The Righteous Man” was signedX.Y.Z.and, to link it to the discussion, Butler introduced it with a note comparing it to the last six inches of a railway line; there is no part of the road so unattractive, so rarely traveled, or so generally useless, but it is the end, at least, of a very long journey.

vii.  To Critics and Others.

vii. To Critics and Others.

This was written in 1883 and has not hitherto been published.

This was written in 1883 and has not been published until now.

viii.  For Narcissus

viii. For Narcissus

These are printed for the first timeThe pianoforte score of Narcissus was published in 1888.  The poem (A) was written because there was some discussion then going on in musical circles about additional accompaniments to the Messiah and we did not want any to be written for Narcissus.

These are being published for the first time. The piano score of Narcissus was released in 1888. The poem (A) was created because there was some discussion happening in musical circles about adding accompaniments to the Messiah and we didn’t want any to be added for Narcissus.

The poem (B) shows how Butler originally intended to open Part II with a kind of descriptive programme, but he changed his mind and did it differently.

The poem (B) shows how Butler initially planned to start Part II with a descriptive program, but he had a change of heart and approached it differently.

ix.  A Translation Attempted in Consequence of a Challenge

ix.  A Translation Attempted in Response to a Challenge

This translation into Homeric verse of a famous passage from Martin Chuzzlewit was a by-product of Butler’s work on the Odyssey and the Iliad.  It was published in The Eagle in March, 1894, and was included in Seven Sonnets.

This translation into Homeric verse of a famous passage from Martin Chuzzlewit was a by-product of Butler’s work on the Odyssey and the Iliad. It was published in The Eagle in March, 1894, and was included in Seven Sonnets.

I asked Butler who had challenged him to attempt the translation and he replied that he had thought of that and had settled that, if any one else were to ask the question, he should reply that the challenge came from me.

I asked Butler who had dared him to try the translation, and he said he had considered that and decided that, if anyone else were to ask the question, he would say that the challenge came from me.

x.  In Memoriam H. R. F.

x.  In Memory of H. R. F.

This appears in print now for the first timeHans Rudolf Faesch, a young Swiss from Basel, came to London in the autumn of 1893.  He spent much of his time with us until 14th February, 1895, when he left for SingaporeWe saw him off from Holborn Viaduct Station; he was not well and it was a stormy nightThe next day Butler wrote this poem and, being persuaded that we should never see Hans Faesch again, called it an In MemoriamHans did not die on the journey, he arrived safely in Singapore and settled in the East where he carried on businessWe exchanged letters with him frequently; he paid two visits to Europe and we saw him on both occasionsBut he did not live longHe died in the autumn of 1903 at Vien Tiane in the Shan States, aged 32, having survived Butler by about a year and a half.

This appears in print now for the first time. Hans Rudolf Faesch, a young Swiss from Basel, came to London in the autumn of 1893. He spent a lot of his time with us until 14th February, 1895, when he left for Singapore. We saw him off from Holborn Viaduct Station; he was unwell and it was a stormy night. The next day Butler wrote this poem and, believing that we would never see Hans Faesch again, called it an In Memoriam. Hans did not die on the journey, he arrived safely in Singapore and settled in the East where he continued to do business. We exchanged letters with him frequently; he visited Europe twice and we saw him on both occasions. But he didn't live long. He died in the autumn of 1903 at Vien Tiane in the Shan States, at the age of 32, having outlived Butler by about a year and a half.

xi.  An Academic Exercise

xi. A Study

This has never been printed beforeIt is a Farewell, and that is why I have placed it next after the In MemoriamThe contrast between the two poems illustrates the contrast pointed out at the close of the note onThe Dislike of Death” (ante, p. 359):

This has never been printed before. It is a Farewell, and that is why I have placed it next after the In Memoriam. The contrast between the two poems illustrates the contrast pointed out at the close of the note onThe Dislike of Death” (ante, p. 359):

The memory of a love that has been cut short by death remains still fragrant though enfeebled, but no recollection of its past can keep sweet a love that has dried up and withered through accidents of time and life.”

The memory of a love that has been interrupted by death still carries a certain warmth, even if it's faded, but no remembrance of what it once was can revive a love that has dried up and faded away due to the twists of time and life.

In the ordinary course Butler would have talked this Sonnet over with me at the time he wrote it, that is in January, 1902; he may even have done so, but I think notFrom 2nd January, 1902, until late in March, when he left London alone for Sicily, I was ill with pneumonia and remember very little of what happened thenBetween his return in May and his death in June I am sure he did not mention the subjectKnowing the facts that underlie the preceding poem I can tell why Butler called it an In Memoriam; not knowing the facts that underlie this poem I cannot tell why Butler should have called it an Academic ExerciseIt is his last Sonnet and is datedSund. Jan. 12th 1902,” within six months of his death, at a time when he was depressed physically because his health was failing and mentally because he had beenediting his remains,” reading and destroying old letters and brooding over the pastOne of the subjects given in the sectionTitles and Subjects(ante) isThe diseases and ordinary causes of mortality among friendships.”  I suppose that he found among his letters something which awakened memories of a friendship of his earlier life—a friendship that had suffered from a disease, whether it recovered or died would not affect the sincerity of the emotions experienced by Butler at the time he believed the friendship to be virtually deadI suppose the Sonnet to be an In Memoriam upon the apprehended death of a friendship as the preceding poem is an In Memoriam upon the apprehended death of a friend.

Normally, Butler would have discussed this Sonnet with me when he wrote it, which was in January, 1902; he might have even done so, but I don't think he did. From 2nd January, 1902, until late in March, when he left London alone for Sicily, I was sick with pneumonia and remember very little of what happened during that time. Between his return in May and his death in June, I'm sure he didn't bring it up. Knowing the context behind the previous poem, I understand why Butler called it an In Memoriam; not knowing the context behind this poem, I can't figure out why Butler called it an Academic Exercise. It's his last Sonnet and is datedSun. Jan. 12th 1902,” just six months before his death, at a time when he was feeling down physically due to his declining health and mentally because he had beenediting his remains,” reading and destroying old letters and reflecting on the past. One of the topics listed in the sectionTitles and Subjects(ante) isThe diseases and ordinary causes of mortality among friendships.” I assume he found something among his letters that triggered memories of a friendship from his earlier life—a friendship that had suffered from a disease, whether it recovered or ended wouldn’t change the truth of the feelings Butler experienced when he thought that friendship was essentially over. I believe the Sonnet is an In Memoriam for the anticipated loss of a friendship, just as the previous poem is an In Memoriam for the expected loss of a friend.

This may be wrong, but something of the kind seems necessary to explain why Butler should have called the Sonnet an Academic ExerciseNo one who has read Shakespeare’s Sonnets Reconsidered will require to be told that he disagreed contemptuously with those critics who believe that Shakespeare composed his Sonnets as academic exercisesIt is certain that he wrote this, as he wrote his other Sonnets, in imitation of Shakespeare, not merely imitating the form but approaching the subject in the spirit in which he believed Shakespeare to have approached his subjectIt follows therefore that he did not write this sonnet as an academic exercise, had he done so he would not have been imitating ShakespeareIf we assume that he was presenting his story as he presented the dialogue inA Psalm of Montrealin a formperhaps true, perhaps imaginary, perhaps a little of the one and a little of the other,” it would be quite in the manner of the author of The Fair Haven to burlesque the methods of the critics by ignoring the sincerity of the emotions and fixing on the little bit of inaccuracy in the factsWe may suppose him to be saying out loud to the critics: “You think Shakespeare’s Sonnets were composed as academic exercises, do youVery well then, now what do you make of this?”  And adding aside to himself: “That will be good enough for them; they’ll swallow anything.”

This might be wrong, but something like this seems necessary to explain why Butler called the Sonnet an Academic ExerciseNo one who has read Shakespeare’s Sonnets Reconsidered needs to be told that he strongly disagreed with those critics who think Shakespeare wrote his Sonnets as academic exercisesIt's clear that he wrote this, just like his other Sonnets, in imitation of Shakespeare, not just copying the form but also adopting the same spirit that he believed Shakespeare used in approaching his subjectTherefore, it's clear that he didn’t write this sonnet as an academic exercise, because if he had, he wouldn’t have been imitating ShakespeareIf we think about him presenting his story like he did inA Psalm of Montrealin a form that ismaybe true, maybe made-up, maybe a bit of both,” it would be very much in the style of the author of The Fair Haven to mock the critics by overlooking the sincerity of the emotions and focusing on the minor inaccuracies in the factsWe can imagine him saying to the critics: “You really think Shakespeare’s Sonnets were just academic exercises, huh? Okay then, what do you make of this?”  And muttering to himself: “That’ll be good enough for them; they’ll buy anything.”

xii.  A Prayer

xii.  A Prayer

Extract from Butler’s Note-Books under the date of February or March 1883:

Extract from Butler’s Note-Books dated February or March 1883:

“‘Cleanse thou me from my secret sins.’  I heard a man moralising on this and shocked him by saying demurely that I did not mind these so much, if I could get rid of those that were obvious to other people.”

“‘Cleanse me from my secret sins.’ I heard a guy moralizing about this and shocked him by saying quietly that I didn’t mind those as much, if I could get rid of the ones that were obvious to other people.”

He wrote the sonnet in 1900 or 1901.  In the first quatrainspokendoes not rhyme withopen”; Butler knew this and would not alter it because there are similar assonances in Shakespeare, e.g.openandbrokenin Sonnet LXI.

He wrote the sonnet in 1900 or 1901. In the first quatrainspokendoes not rhyme withopen”; Butler knew this and wouldn’t change it because there are similar assonances in Shakespeare, e.g.openandbrokenin Sonnet LXI.

xiii.  Karma

xiii.  Karma

I am responsible for grouping these three sonnets under this headingThe second one beginningWhat is’t to liveappears in Butler’s Note-Book with the remark, “This wants much tinkering, but I cannot tinker it”—meaning that he was too much occupied with other thingsHe left the second line of the third of these sonnets thus:

I am in charge of putting these three sonnets under this title. The second one starting withWhat is’t to liveis found in Butler’s Note-Book with the comment, “This needs a lot of work, but I can't fix it”—indicating that he was too busy with other matters. He left the second line of the third of these sonnets like this:

Them palpable to touch and view.”

They are tangible to touch and see.

I havetinkeredit by adding the two syllablesand clearto make the line complete.

I havemessed withit by adding the two syllablesand clearto make the line complete.

In writing this sonnet Butler was no doubt thinking of a note he made in 1891:

When Butler wrote this sonnet, he was probably reflecting on a note he made in 1891:

It is often said that there is no bore like a clever boreClever people are always bores and always must beThat is, perhaps, why Shakespeare had to leave London—people could not stand him any longer.”

It's often said that there's no bore like a smart bore. Smart people are always boring and always will be. Maybe that’s why Shakespeare had to leave London—people just couldn't put up with him anymore.

xiv.  The Life after Death

xiv. The Afterlife

Butler began to write sonnets in 1898 when he was studying those of Shakespeare on which he published a book in the following year.  (Shakespeare’s Sonnets Reconsidered, &c.He had gone to Flushing by himself and on his return wrote to me:

Butler started writing sonnets in 1898 while he was studying Shakespeare’s, and he published a book about them the next year.  (Shakespeare’s Sonnets Reconsidered, &c.He had traveled alone to Flushing, and upon his return, he wrote to me:

24 Aug. 1898.  “Also at Flushing I wrote one myself, a poor innocent thing, but I was surprised to find how easily it came; if you like it I may write a few more.”

24 Aug. 1898. “Also at Flushing I wrote one myself, a simple little piece, but I was surprised by how easily it flowed; if you like it I might write a few more.”

Thepoor innocent thingwas the sonnet beginningNot on sad Stygian shore,” the first of those I have grouped under the headingThe Life after Death.”  It appears in his notebooks with this introductory sentence:

Thepoor innocent thingwas the sonnet starting withNot on sad Stygian shore,” the first of those I have categorized under the titleThe Life after Death.” It shows up in his notebooks with this introductory sentence:

Having now learned Shakespeare’s Sonnets by heart—and there are very few which I do not find I understand the better for having done this—on Saturday night last at the Hotel Zeeland at Flushing, finding myself in a meditative mood, I wrote the following with a good deal less trouble than I anticipated when I took pen and paper in handI hope I may improve it.”

Now that I’ve memorized Shakespeare’s Sonnets—and there are very few that I don’t find I understand better because of it—on Saturday night at the Hotel Zeeland in Flushing, in a reflective mood, I wrote the following with a lot less effort than I expected when I grabbed pen and paper. I hope to make it better.

Of course I liked the sonnet very much and he did writea few more”—among them the two on Handel which I have put afterNot on sad Stygian shorebecause he intended that they should follow itI am sure he would have wished this volume to close with these three sonnets, especially because the last two of them were inspired by Handel, who was never absent from his thoughts for longLet me conclude these introductory remarks by reproducing a note made in 1883:

Of course, I really liked the sonnet, and he did writea few more”—including the two about Handel that I placed afterNot on sad Stygian shorebecause he wanted them to follow it. I’m sure he would have wanted this volume to end with these three sonnets, especially since the last two were inspired by Handel, who was rarely out of his mind for long. Let me wrap up these introductory remarks by sharing a note from 1883:

Of all dead men Handel has had the largest place in my thoughtsIn fact I should say that he and his music have been the central fact in my life ever since I was old enough to know of the existence of either life or musicAll day long—whether I am writing or painting or walking, but always—I have his music in my head; and if I lose sight of it and of him for an hour or two, as of course I sometimes do, this is as much as I doI believe I am not exaggerating when I say that I have never been a day since I was 13 without having Handel in my mind many times over.”

Of all the people who have passed away, Handel has taken up the most space in my thoughts. In fact, I should say that he and his music have been the main focus of my life ever since I became aware of the existence of either life or music. All day long—whether I'm writing, painting, or walking, I always have his music playing in my head; and if I happen to lose track of it and him for an hour or two, which I occasionally do, that’s as long as it takes. I truly believe I’m not exaggerating when I say that I haven’t gone a single day since I was 13 without thinking of Handel many times.

i—Translation from an Unpublished Work of Herodotus

And the Johnians practise their tub in the following manner:—They select 8 of the most serviceable freshmen and put these into a boat and to each one of them they give an oar; and, having told them to look at the backs of the men before them, they make them bend forward as far as they can and at the same moment, and, having put the end of the oar into the water, pull it back again in to them about the bottom of the ribs; and, if any of them does not do this or looks about him away from the back of the man before him, they curse him in the most terrible manner, but if he does what he is bidden they immediately cry out:

And the Johnians practice their routine like this: They pick 8 of the most useful freshmen, put them in a boat, and give each one an oar. They instruct them to keep their eyes on the backs of the guys in front of them and to bend forward as far as they can at the same time. Then, they have them dip the end of the oar into the water and pull it back towards them near the bottom of their ribs. If anyone fails to do this or looks away from the back of the person ahead of them, they’re scolded in the harshest way possible. However, if they follow the instructions, they immediately shout:

“Well pulled, number so-and-so.”

“Well done, number so-and-so.”

For they do not call them by their names but by certain numbers, each man of them having a number allotted to him in accordance with his place in the boat, and the first man they call stroke, but the last man bow; and when they have done this for about 50 miles they come home again, and the rate they travel at is about 25 miles an hour; and let no one think that this is too great a rate for I could say many other wonderful things in addition concerning the rowing of the Johnians, but if a man wishes to know these things he must go and examine them himself.  But when they have done they contrive some such a device as this, for they make them run many miles along the side of the river in order that they may accustom them to great fatigue, and many of them, being distressed in this way, fall down and die, but those who survive become very strong and receive gifts of cups from the others; and after the revolution of a year they have great races with their boats against those of the surrounding islanders, but the Johnians, both owing to the carefulness of the training and a natural disposition for rowing, are always victorious.  In this way, then, the Johnians, I say, practise their tub.

For they don't call each other by their names but by specific numbers, with each person assigned a number based on their position in the boat. The first person is called stroke, and the last person is called bow. After rowing like this for about 50 miles, they come back home, traveling at a speed of about 25 miles an hour. And let no one think that this speed is too fast, as I could share many other amazing details about the rowing skills of the Johnians, but if someone wants to know these things, they need to see for themselves. Once they're done, they set up a system where they have to run many miles along the riverbank to get used to extreme fatigue. Many of them, struggling like this, collapse and die, but those who make it through get very strong and are rewarded with cups from others. After a year goes by, they hold big races with their boats against those from nearby islands, but the Johnians, thanks to their careful training and natural talent for rowing, are always the winners. This is how the Johnians practice their craft.

ii—The Shield of Achilles—With Variations

And in it he placed the Fitzwilliam and King’s College Chapel and the lofty towered church of the Great Saint Mary, which looketh towards the Senate House, and King’s Parade and Trumpington Road and the Pitt Press and the divine opening of the Market Square and the beautiful flowing fountain which formerly Hobson laboured to make with skilful art; him did his father beget in the many-public-housed Trumpington from a slavey mother and taught him blameless works; and he, on the other hand, sprang up like a young shoot and many beautifully matched horses did he nourish in his stable, which used to convey his rich possessions to London and the various cities of the world; but oftentimes did he let them out to others and whensoever any one was desirous of hiring one of the long-tailed horses he took them in order, so that the labour was equal to all, wherefore do men now speak of the choice of the renowned Hobson.  And in it he placed the close of the divine Parker, and many beautiful undergraduates were delighting their tender minds upon it playing cricket with one another; and a match was being played and two umpires were quarrelling with one another; the one saying that the batsman who was playing was out and the other declaring with all his might that he was not; and while they two were contending, reviling one another with abusive language, a ball came and hit one of them on the nose and the blood flowed out in a stream and darkness was covering his eyes, but the rest were crying out on all sides:

And in it, he placed the Fitzwilliam and King’s College Chapel and the tall church of Great Saint Mary, which faces the Senate House, King’s Parade, Trumpington Road, the Pitt Press, the grand Market Square, and the beautiful flowing fountain that Hobson once skillfully created; he was born in the many pubs of Trumpington to a servant mother and learned to do good deeds; and he grew up like a young plant, raising many well-bred horses in his stable, which he used to transport his wealth to London and various cities around the world; but often he rented them out to others, and whenever someone wanted to hire one of the long-tailed horses, he would take them in order so that the work was fair for everyone, which is why people now talk about the choice of the famous Hobson. And in it, he placed the end of the divine Parker, where many beautiful undergraduates were enjoying themselves playing cricket with each other; a match was happening, and two umpires were arguing; one claiming the batsman was out, while the other insisted he was not; and while they were bickering and hurling insults at each other, a ball came and hit one of them on the nose, causing blood to stream out and darkness to cloud his vision, while the rest shouted out all around:

“Shy it up.”

“Be more reserved.”

And he could not; him, then, was his companion addressing with scornful words:

And he couldn't; his companion was speaking to him with scornful words:

“Arnold, why dost thou strive with me since I am much wiser?  Did not I see his leg before the wicket and rightly declare him to be out?  Thee, then, has Zeus now punished according to thy deserts and I will seek some other umpire of the game equally-participated-in-by-both-sides.”

“Arnold, why are you arguing with me when I’m so much wiser? Didn’t I see his leg before the wicket and correctly call him out? So now, Zeus has punished you as you deserve, and I’ll find another umpire for the game that’s fair for both sides.”

And in it he placed the Cam and many boats equally rowed on both sides were going up and down on the bosom of the deep rolling river and the coxswains were cheering on the men, for they were going to enter the contest of the scratchean fours; and three men were rowing together in a boat, strong and stout and determined in their hearts that they would either first break a blood vessel or earn for themselves the electroplated-Birmingham-manufactured magnificence of a pewter to stand on their ball tables in memorial of their strength, and from time to time drink from it the exhilarating streams of beer whensoever their dear heart should compel them; but the fourth was weak and unequally matched with the others and the coxswain was encouraging him and called him by name and spake cheering words:

And in it he placed the Cam, and many boats equally rowed on both sides were moving up and down on the surface of the deep, rolling river. The coxswains were cheering on the men, as they were getting ready to enter the competition of the scratch fours. Three men were rowing together in a boat, strong, sturdy, and determined in their hearts to either break a blood vessel or earn for themselves the shiny electroplated trophy made in Birmingham to stand on their tables as a reminder of their strength, from which they would occasionally drink the refreshing streams of beer whenever their hearts desired. But the fourth man was weak and not as strong as the others, and the coxswain was encouraging him, calling him by name and speaking uplifting words:

“Smith, when thou hast begun the contest, be not flurried nor strive too hard against thy fate, look at the back of the man before thee and row with as much strength as the Fates spun out for thee on the day when thou fellest between the knees of thy mother, neither lose thine oar, but hold it tight with thy hands.”

“Smith, when you start the competition, don’t get flustered or try too hard to fight your fate. Focus on the back of the person in front of you and row with as much strength as the Fates allotted you the day you were born. Don’t drop your oar; hold onto it tightly with your hands.”

iii—The Two Deans

Scene: The Court of St. John’s College, CambridgeEnter the two deans on their way to morning chapel.

Scene: The Court of St. John’s College, Cambridge. The two deans enter as they head to morning chapel.

Junior Dean: Brother, I am much pleased with Samuel Butler,
I have observed him mightily of late;
Methinks that in his melancholy walk
And air subdued when’er he meeteth me
Lurks something more than in most other men.

Assistant Dean: Brother, I'm really impressed with Samuel Butler,
I've been paying close attention to him lately;
I think that in his gloomy demeanor
And subdued presence whenever he sees me
There's something deeper going on than in most other guys.

Senior Dean: It is a good young man.  I do bethink me
That once I walked behind him in the cloister,
He saw me not, but whispered to his fellow:
“Of all men who do dwell beneath the moon
I love and reverence most the senior Dean.”

Head Dean: He is a good young man. I remember
That once I walked behind him in the cloister,
He didn't see me, but whispered to his friend:
“Of all the people living under the moon,
I admire and respect the senior Dean the most.”

Junior Dean: One thing is passing strange, and yet I know not
How to condemn it; but in one plain brief word
He never comes to Sunday morning chapel.
Methinks he teacheth in some Sunday school,
Feeding the poor and starveling intellect
With wholesome knowledge, or on the Sabbath morn
He loves the country and the neighbouring spire
Of Madingley or Coton, or perchance
Amid some humble poor he spends the day
Conversing with them, learning all their cares,
Comforting them and easing them in sickness.
Oh ’tis a rare young man!

Assistant Dean: One thing is really strange, and yet I can't quite judge it; but in one simple word, he never attends Sunday morning chapel. I think he must be teaching at some Sunday school, helping the underprivileged and starving minds with useful knowledge, or on Sunday morning he enjoys the countryside and the nearby spire of Madingley or Coton, or maybe he spends the day among some humble folks, talking with them, understanding their concerns, comforting them, and helping them when they're sick. Oh, he’s a remarkable young man!

Senior Dean: I will advance him to some public post,
He shall be chapel clerk, some day a fellow,
Some day perhaps a Dean, but as thou sayst
He is indeed an excellent young man—

Head of Faculty: I will promote him to a public position,
He’ll be the chapel clerk, maybe a fellow someday,
Perhaps even a Dean one day, but as you said,
He is truly a remarkable young man—

Enter Butler suddenly without a coat, or anything on his head, rushing through the cloisters, bearing a cup, a bottle of cider, four lemons, two nutmegs, half a pound of sugar and a nutmeg grater.

Butler bursts in suddenly without a coat, or anything on his head, rushing through the hallways, carrying a cup, a bottle of cider, four lemons, two nutmegs, half a pound of sugar and a nutmeg grater.

Curtain falls on the confusion of Butler and the horror-stricken dismay of the two deans.

The curtain comes down on Butler's confusion and the terrified shock of the two deans.

iv—On the Italian Priesthood

(Con arte e con inganno, si vive mezzo l’anno;
Con inganno e con arte, si vive l’altra parte.)

(With art and deception, one lives half the year;
With deception and art, one lives the other half.)

In knavish art and gathering gear
They spend the one half of the year;
In gathering gear and knavish art
They somehow spend the other part.

In shady schemes and collecting tools
They use up half the year;
In collecting tools and shady schemes
They somehow spend the other half.

v—A Psalm of Montreal

The City of Montreal is one of the most rising and, in many respects, most agreeable on the American continent, but its inhabitants are as yet too busy with commerce to care greatly about the masterpieces of old Greek Art.  In the Montreal Museum of Natural History I came upon two plaster casts, one of the Antinous and the other of the Discobolus—not the good one, but in my poem, of course, I intend the good one—banished from public view to a room where were all manner of skins, plants, snakes, insects, etc., and, in the middle of these, an old man stuffing an owl.

The City of Montreal is one of the fastest-growing and, in many ways, one of the most enjoyable places on the American continent. However, its residents are currently too focused on business to pay much attention to the masterpieces of ancient Greek art. In the Montreal Museum of Natural History, I found two plaster casts: one of Antinous and the other of the Discobolus—not the famous one, but in my poem, I mean the famous one—tucked away in a room filled with all sorts of skins, plants, snakes, insects, and so on, with an old man in the middle of it all stuffing an owl.

“Ah,” said I, “so you have some antiques here; why don’t you put them where people can see them?”

“Ah,” I said, “so you have some antiques here; why don’t you display them where people can see them?”

“Well, sir,” answered the custodian, “you see they are rather vulgar.”

“Well, sir,” answered the custodian, “you see they’re kind of crude.”

He then talked a great deal and said his brother did all Mr. Spurgeon’s printing.

He then talked a lot and said his brother handled all of Mr. Spurgeon's printing.

The dialogue—perhaps true, perhaps imaginary, perhaps a little of the one and a little of the other—between the writer and this old man gave rise to the lines that follow:

The conversation—maybe real, maybe made up, maybe a bit of both—between the writer and this old man inspired the lines that follow:

Stowed away in a Montreal lumber room
The Discobolus standeth and turneth his face to the wall;
Dusty, cobweb-covered, maimed and set at naught,
Beauty crieth in an attic and no man regardeth:
      O God!  O Montreal!

Stashed away in a Montreal storage room
The Discobolus stands and turns its face to the wall;
Dusty, covered in cobwebs, damaged and ignored,
Beauty cries out in an attic and no one pays attention:
      O God!  O Montreal!

Beautiful by night and day, beautiful in summer and winter,
Whole or maimed, always and alike beautiful—
He preacheth gospel of grace to the skin of owls
And to one who seasoneth the skins of Canadian owls:
      O God!  O Montreal!

Beautiful day and night, stunning in both summer and winter,
Whole or wounded, always and equally beautiful—
He shares the gospel of grace to the skin of owls
And to someone who prepares the skins of Canadian owls:
      O God! O Montreal!

When I saw him I was wroth and I said, “O Discobolus!
Beautiful Discobolus, a Prince both among gods and men!
What doest thou here, how camest thou hither, Discobolus,
Preaching gospel in vain to the skins of owls?”
      O God!  O Montreal!

When I saw him, I was angry and I said, “Oh, Discobolus!
Beautiful Discobolus, a Prince among both gods and men!
What are you doing here, how did you get here, Discobolus,
Preaching in vain to the skins of owls?”
      Oh God! Oh Montreal!

And I turned to the man of skins and said unto him, “O thou man of skins,
Wherefore hast thou done thus to shame the beauty of the Discobolus?”
But the Lord had hardened the heart of the man of skins
And he answered, “My brother-in-law is haberdasher to Mr. Spurgeon.”
      O God!  O Montreal!

And I turned to the guy in the skins and said to him, “Hey man, why did you do this to ruin the beauty of the Discobolus?” But the Lord had hardened the heart of the guy in the skins, and he replied, “My brother-in-law is a hat maker for Mr. Spurgeon.” O God! O Montreal!

“The Discobolus is put here because he is vulgar—
He has neither vest nor pants with which to cover his limbs;
I, Sir, am a person of most respectable connections
My brother-in-law is haberdasher to Mr. Spurgeon.”
      O God!  O Montreal!

“The Discobolus is placed here because he's tacky—
He doesn't have any clothes or pants to cover his body;
I, Sir, come from a very respectable background
My brother-in-law is the tailor for Mr. Spurgeon.”
      Oh God! Oh Montreal!

Then I said, “O brother-in-law to Mr. Spurgeon’s haberdasher,
Who seasonest also the skins of Canadian owls,
Thou callest trousers ‘pants,’ whereas I call them ‘trousers,’
Therefore thou art in hell-fire and may the Lord pity thee!”
      O God!  O Montreal!

Then I said, “O brother-in-law to Mr. Spurgeon’s tailor,
Who also seasons the skins of Canadian owls,
You call pants ‘pants,’ while I call them ‘trousers,’
So you are in hell-fire and may the Lord have mercy on you!”
      O God! O Montreal!

“Preferrest thou the gospel of Montreal to the gospel of Hellas,
The gospel of thy connection with Mr. Spurgeon’s haberdashery to the gospel of the Discobolus?”
Yet none the less blasphemed he beauty saying, “The Discobolus hath no gospel,
But my brother-in-law is haberdasher to Mr. Spurgeon.”
      O God!  O Montreal!

“Do you prefer the gospel of Montreal to the gospel of Greece,
The gospel of your link to Mr. Spurgeon’s haberdashery over the gospel of the Discobolus?”
Yet still, he insulted beauty by saying, “The Discobolus has no gospel,
But my brother-in-law is a haberdasher for Mr. Spurgeon.”
      Oh God!  Oh Montreal!

vi—The Righteous Man

The righteous man will rob none but the defenceless,
Whatsoever can reckon with him he will neither plunder nor kill;
He will steal an egg from a hen or a lamb from an ewe,
For his sheep and his hens cannot reckon with him hereafter—
They live not in any odour of defencefulness:
Therefore right is with the righteous man, and he taketh advantage righteously,
Praising God and plundering.

The righteous man won't rob anyone who can't defend themselves,
He won't plunder or kill anyone who can stand up to him;
He'll take an egg from a hen or a lamb from a ewe,
Because his sheep and hens can't hold him accountable later—
They don't live in any state of defenselessness:
So the righteous man is in the right, and he takes advantage fairly,
Praising God while he takes what he wants.

The righteous man will enslave his horse and his dog,
Making them serve him for their bare keep and for nothing further,
Shooting them, selling them for vivisection when they can no longer profit him,
Backbiting them and beating them if they fail to please him;
For his horse and his dog can bring no action for damages,
Wherefore, then, should he not enslave them, shoot them, sell them for vivisection?

The righteous man will use his horse and his dog,
Making them serve him for their basic care and nothing more,
Killing them or selling them for experiments when they can no longer benefit him,
Talking behind their backs and hitting them if they don’t meet his expectations;
Because his horse and his dog can't sue for damages,
So why shouldn’t he use them, kill them, or sell them for experiments?

But the righteous man will not plunder the defenceful—
Not if he be alone and unarmed—for his conscience will smite him;
He will not rob a she-bear of her cubs, nor an eagle of her eaglets—
Unless he have a rifle to purge him from the fear of sin:
Then may he shoot rejoicing in innocency—from ambush or a safe distance;
Or he will beguile them, lay poison for them, keep no faith with them;
For what faith is there with that which cannot reckon hereafter,
Neither by itself, nor by another, nor by any residuum of ill consequences?
Surely, where weakness is utter, honour ceaseth.

But a righteous man won’t take advantage of the defenseless—
Not if he's alone and unarmed—his conscience will weigh heavy on him;
He won't rob a mother bear of her cubs or an eagle of her chicks—
Unless he has a rifle to rid him of the fear of sin:
Then he can shoot with a clear conscience—from hiding or a safe distance;
Or he might trick them, set traps for them, keep no promises to them;
Because what honor is there in dealing with what can’t account for the future,
Neither by itself, nor through others, nor by any lingering bad outcomes?
Certainly, where there is complete weakness, honor disappears.

Nay, I will do what is right in the eye of him who can harm me,
And not in those of him who cannot call me to account.
Therefore yield me up thy pretty wings, O humming-bird!
Sing for me in a prison, O lark!
Pay me thy rent, O widow! for it is mine.
Where there is reckoning there is sin,
And where there is no reckoning sin is not.

No, I will do what’s right in the eyes of the one who can harm me,
And not in the eyes of the one who can’t hold me accountable.
So give me your beautiful wings, oh hummingbird!
Sing for me in a cage, oh lark!
Pay me your dues, oh widow! because they belong to me.
Where there’s a price to pay, there’s wrongdoing,
And where there’s no price, wrongdoing doesn’t exist.

vii—To Critics and Others

O Critics, cultured Critics!
Who will praise me after I am dead,
Who will see in me both more and less than I intended,
But who will swear that whatever it was it was all perfectly right:
You will think you are better than the people who, when I was alive, swore that whatever I did was wrong
And damned my books for me as fast as I could write them;
But you will not be better, you will be just the same, neither better nor worse,
And you will go for some future Butler as your fathers have gone for me.
Oh!  How I should have hated you!

O Critics, refined Critics!
Who will praise me after I'm gone,
Who will see in me both more and less than I meant,
But who will insist that whatever it was, it was all just fine:
You’ll think you’re better than those who, when I was alive, insisted that whatever I did was wrong
And damned my books as quickly as I could write them;
But you won't be better; you'll be just the same, neither better nor worse,
And you'll seek some future Butler just as your predecessors have sought me.
Oh! How I would have loathed you!

But you, Nice People!
Who will be sick of me because the critics thrust me down your throats,
But who would take me willingly enough if you were not bored about me,
Or if you could have the cream of me—and surely this should suffice:
Please remember that, if I were living, I should be upon your side
And should hate those who imposed me either on myself or others;
Therefore, I pray you, neglect me, burlesque me, boil me down, do whatever you like with me,
But do not think that, if I were living, I should not aid and abet you.
There is nothing that even Shakespeare would enjoy more than a good burlesque of Hamlet.

But you, nice people!
You might get tired of me because critics keep pushing me on you,
But you would embrace me willingly if you weren’t bored with me,
Or if you could have the best of me—and surely that should be enough:
Please remember that if I were alive, I would be on your side
And would despise those who forced me onto myself or others;
So, I ask you, ignore me, make fun of me, simplify me, do whatever you want with me,
But don’t think that if I were alive, I wouldn’t support you.
There’s nothing that even Shakespeare would love more than a good parody of Hamlet.

viii—For Narcissus

(A)

(A)

(To be written in front of the orchestral score.)

(To be written in front of the orchestral score.)

May he be damned for evermore
Who tampers with Narcissus’ score;
May he by poisonous snakes be bitten
Who writes more parts than what we’ve written.
We tried to make our music clear
For those who sing and those who hear,
Not lost and muddled up and drowned
In over-done orchestral sound;
So kindly leave the work alone
Or do it as we want it done.

May he be cursed forever
Who messes with Narcissus’ score;
May he be bitten by poisonous snakes
Who adds more parts than we've created.
We aimed to make our music clear
For those who sing and those who listen,
Not lost, confused, and overwhelmed
In over-the-top orchestral noise;
So please leave the work alone
Or do it the way we want it done.

(B)

(B)

Part II

Part 2

Symphony

Orchestra

(During which the audience is requested to think as follows:)

(During which the audience is asked to think as follows:)

An aged lady taken ill
Desires to reconstruct her will;
I see the servants hurrying for
The family solicitor;
Post-haste he comes and with him brings
The usual necessary things.
With common form and driving quill
He draws the first part of the will,
The more sonorous solemn sounds
Denote a hundred thousand pounds,
This trifle is the main bequest,
Old friends and servants take the rest.
’Tis done!  I see her sign her name,
I see the attestors do the same.
Who is the happy legatee?
In the next number you will see.

An elderly woman has fallen ill
And wants to update her will;
I notice the staff rushing for
The family lawyer;
He arrives quickly, bringing along
The usual essential items.
With formalities and a focused pen
He writes the first part of the will,
The more impressive, serious phrases
Indicate a hundred thousand pounds,
This sum is the main inheritance,
Old friends and staff receive the rest.
It’s done! I see her sign her name,
I see the witnesses do the same.
Who is the lucky beneficiary?
In the next issue, you will find out.

ix—A Translation

(Attempted in consequence of a challenge.)

Tried due to a challenge.

“‘Mrs. Harris,’ I says to her, ‘dont name the charge, for if I could afford to lay all my feller creeturs out for nothink I would gladly do it; sich is the love I bear ’em.  But what I always says to them as has the management of matters, Mrs. Harris,’”—here she kept her eye on Mr. Pecksniff—“‘be they gents or be they ladies—is, Dont ask me whether I wont take none, or whether I will, but leave the bottle on the chimley piece, and let me put my lips to it when I am so dispoged.’”  (Martin Chuzzlewit, Chap.  XIX).

“‘Mrs. Harris,’ I said to her, ‘don’t mention the charge, because if I could afford to lay all my fellow creatures out for nothing, I would gladly do it; such is the love I have for them. But what I always say to those who manage matters, Mrs. Harris,’”—here she glanced at Mr. Pecksniff—“‘whether they’re gentlemen or ladies—is, Don’t ask me if I won’t take any, or whether I will, just leave the bottle on the mantelpiece, and let me sip from it when I feel like it.’” (Martin Chuzzlewit, Chap. XIX).

“ως εφατ αυταρ εyώ μιν αμειβομένη προσέειπον,
‘δαιμονίη, Άρρισσιαδέω αλοχ' αντιθέοιο,
μη θην δη περι μίσθον ανείρεο, μήδ’ ονόμαζε
τοίη yάρ τοι εyων αyανη και ηπίη ειμί,
η κεν λαον απαντ’ ει μοι δύναμίς yε παρείη,
σίτου επηετανου βιότου θ’ αλις ενδον εόντος,
ασπασίως και αμισθος εουσα περιστείλαιμι
[εν λέκτρω λέξασα τανηλεyέος θανάτοιο
αυτή, ος κε θάνησι βροτων και πότμον επίσπη]
αλλ’ εκ τοι ερέω συ δ’ ενι φρεσι βάλλεο σησιν’”—
οσσε δέ οι Πεξνειφον εσέδρακον ασκελες αιεί—
“‘κείνοισιν yαρ πασι πιφαυσκομένη αyορεύω
ειτ’ ανδο’ ειτε yυναίχ’ οτέω τάδε ερyα μέμηλεν,
ω φίλε, τίπτε συ ταυτα μ’ ανείρεαι; ουδέ τί σε χρη
ιδμέναι η εθέλω πίνειν μέθυ, ηε και ουχί
ει δ’ αy’ επ’ εσχάροφιν κάταθες δέπας ηδέος οινου,
οφρ’ εν χερσιν ελω πίνουσά τε τερπομένη τε,
χείλεά τε προσθεισ’ οπόταν φίλον ητορ ανώyη.’”

“as he said, then I, responding, spoke to him,
‘goddess, Wife of the noble god,
don’t bring up a price, nor name a
thing since I am both divine and gentle,
if I happen to be able to help you,
with the food that is plenty, and the life
that is abundant,
I would kindly serve you
[in a bedroom saying of the far-reaching death
of anyone who dies among mortals, and fate takes hold]
but from this, I will tell you, cast your thoughts into me'—
and his eyes settled on me exceedingly—
“‘for indeed, I seem to speak directly to all men or women, whenever these words are meant,
oh friend, why do you bring this up with me? nor do I wish to know whether I want to drink wine, or not
if you take the cup of sweet wine, so that in your hands, you might drink and be pleased
with your lips as long as your dear heart is lifted.’”

x—In Memoriam

Feb. 14th, 1895

Feb. 14, 1895

To

To

H. R. F.

H. R. F.

Out, out, out into the night,
With the wind bitter North East and the sea rough;
You have a racking cough and your lungs are weak,
But out, out into the night you go,
   So guide you and guard you Heaven and fare you well!

Out, out, out into the night,
With the bitter North East wind and the rough sea;
You have a terrible cough and your lungs are weak,
But out, out into the night you go,
So may Heaven guide and protect you, and fare you well!

We have been three lights to one another and now we are two,
For you go far and alone into the darkness;
But the light in you was stronger and clearer than ours,
For you came straighter from God and, whereas we had learned,
You had never forgotten.  Three minutes more and then
Out, out into the night you go,
   So guide you and guard you Heaven and fare you well!

We have been three lights for each other and now we are two,
Because you’re going far and alone into the darkness;
But the light within you was brighter and clearer than ours,
Since you came directly from God, and while we learned,
You had never forgotten. Just three more minutes and then
Out, out into the night you go,
May Heaven guide you and protect you, and farewell!

Never a cross look, never a thought,
Never a word that had better been left unspoken;
We gave you the best we had, such as it was,
It pleased you well, for you smiled and nodded your head;
And now, out, out into the night you go,
   So guide you and guard you Heaven and fare you well!

Never a frown, never a thought,
Never a word that should’ve been left unsaid;
We gave you the best we had, however it was,
It pleased you well, for you smiled and nodded your head;
And now, out into the night you go,
So may Heaven guide you, protect you, and fare you well!

You said we were a little weak that the three of us wept,
Are we then weak if we laugh when we are glad?
When men are under the knife let them roar as they will,
So that they flinch not.
Therefore let tears flow on, for so long as we live
No such second sorrow shall ever draw nigh us,
Till one of us two leaves the other alone
And goes out, out, out into the night,
   So guard the one that is left, O God, and fare him well!

You said we were a bit weak because the three of us cried,
Are we weak if we laugh when we’re happy?
When people are in pain, let them scream all they want,
So they don’t hold back.
So let the tears keep flowing, as long as we live,
No other sorrow will ever come near us,
Until one of us leaves the other behind
And goes out, out, out into the night,
So protect the one who stays, O God, and take care of him!

Yet for the great bitterness of this grief
We three, you and he and I,
May pass into the hearts of like true comrades hereafter,
In whom we may weep anew and yet comfort them,
As they too pass out, out, out into the night,
   So guide them and guard them Heaven and fare them well!

Yet for the deep sorrow of this grief
We three, you, him, and I,
May become true friends in the hearts of others hereafter,
In whom we can cry again and still comfort them,
As they also go out, out, out into the night,
So guide them and protect them, Heaven, and wish them well!

. . .

. . .

The minutes have flown and he whom we loved is gone,
The like of whom we never again shall see;
The wind is heavy with snow and the sea rough,
He has a racking cough and his lungs are weak.
Hand in hand we watch the train as it glides
Out, out, out into the night.
   So take him into thy holy keeping, O Lord,
   And guide him and guard him ever, and fare him well!

The minutes have passed quickly, and the one we loved is gone,
Someone like him we will never see again;
The wind is heavy with snow, and the sea is rough,
He has a terrible cough, and his lungs are weak.
Hand in hand, we watch the train as it glides
Out, out, out into the night.
So take him into your holy keeping, O Lord,
And guide him and protect him always, and fare him well!

xi—An Academic Exercise

We were two lovers standing sadly by
While our two loves lay dead upon the ground;
Each love had striven not to be first to die,
But each was gashed with many a cruel wound.
Said I: “Your love was false while mine was true.”
Aflood with tears he cried: “It was not so,
’Twas your false love my true love falsely slew—
For ’twas your love that was the first to go.”
Thus did we stand and said no more for shame
Till I, seeing his cheek so wan and wet,
Sobbed thus: “So be it; my love shall bear the blame;
Let us inter them honourably.”  And yet
   I swear by all truth human and divine
   ’Twas his that in its death throes murdered mine.

We were two lovers standing sadly by
While our two loves lay dead on the ground;
Each love had fought hard not to be the first to die,
But each was cut with many cruel wounds.
I said: “Your love was false while mine was real.”
Overwhelmed with tears, he cried: “That’s not true,
It was your false love that killed my true love—
For your love was the first to go.”
So we stood in silence, feeling ashamed,
Until I, seeing his cheek so pale and wet,
Sobbed: “So be it; my love will take the blame;
Let’s bury them with honor.” And yet
I swear by all that is true, human and divine,
It was his love that, in its dying struggle, killed mine.

xii—A Prayer

Searcher of souls, you who in heaven abide,
To whom the secrets of all hearts are open,
Though I do lie to all the world beside,
From me to these no falsehood shall be spoken.
Cleanse me not, Lord, I say, from secret sin
But from those faults which he who runs can see,
’Tis these that torture me, O Lord, begin
With these and let the hidden vices be;
If you must cleanse these too, at any rate
Deal with the seen sins first, ’tis only reason,
They being so gross, to let the others wait
The leisure of some more convenient season;
   And cleanse not all even then, leave me a few,
   I would not be—not quite—so pure as you.

Searcher of souls, you who dwell in heaven,
To whom the secrets of all hearts are known,
Though I may lie to everyone else,
I will speak no falsehood to you.
Lord, don’t cleanse me from my hidden sins,
But from the faults that are obvious to all,
It’s these that torment me, O Lord, start
With these and let the hidden vices stay;
If you must cleanse those too, fine, but
Focus on the visible sins first, it makes sense,
Since they are so blatant, let the others wait
For a more appropriate time;
And don’t cleanse them all even then, leave me a few,
I wouldn’t want to be—not completely—so pure as you.

xiii—Karma

(A)

(A)

Who paints a picture, writes a play or book
Which others read while he’s asleep in bed
O’ the other side of the world—when they o’erlook
His page the sleeper might as well be dead;
What knows he of his distant unfelt life?
What knows he of the thoughts his thoughts are raising,
The life his life is giving, or the strife
Concerning him—some cavilling, some praising?
Yet which is most alive, he who’s asleep
Or his quick spirit in some other place,
Or score of other places, that doth keep
Attention fixed and sleep from others chase?
   Which is the “he”—the “he” that sleeps, or “he”
   That his own “he” can neither feel nor see?

Who paints a picture, writes a play or book
That others read while he’s asleep in bed
On the other side of the world—when they
Ignore his page, the sleeper might as well be dead;
What does he know of his distant, unfeeling life?
What does he know of the thoughts his thoughts are raising,
The life his life is giving, or the strife
About him—some criticizing, some praising?
Yet who is more alive, he who’s asleep
Or his active spirit in some other place,
Or numerous other places, that keeps
Attention fixed and chases sleep from others’ face?
Which is the “he”—the
“he” that sleeps, or “he”
That his own “he” can neither feel nor see?

(B)

(B)

What is’t to live, if not to pull the strings
Of thought that pull those grosser strings whereby
We pull our limbs to pull material things
Into such shape as in our thoughts doth lie?
Who pulls the strings that pull an agent’s hand,
The action’s counted his, so, we being gone,
The deeds that others do by our command,
Albeit we know them not, are still our own.
He lives who does and he who does still lives,
Whether he wots of his own deeds or no.
Who knows the beating of his heart, that drives
Blood to each part, or how his limbs did grow?
   If life be naught but knowing, then each breath
   We draw unheeded must be reckon’d death.

What is it to live, if not to pull the strings
Of thought that control those other strings that let
Us move our limbs to get material things
Into shapes that exist in our minds?
Who pulls the strings that guide a person’s hand,
The action's considered theirs, so when we’re gone,
The things that others do at our command,
Even if we aren't aware, are still our own.
He lives who acts and he who acts still lives,
Whether he knows about his own actions or not.
Who knows the rhythm of his heart, that pumps
Blood to every part, or how his limbs grew?
If life is nothing but knowledge, then each breath
We take without awareness must count as death.

(C)

(C)

“Men’s work we have,” quoth one, “but we want them—
Them, palpable to touch and clear to view.”
Is it so nothing, then, to have the gem
But we must weep to have the setting too?
Body is a chest wherein the tools abide
With which the craftsman works as best he can
And, as the chest the tools within doth hide,
So doth the body crib and hide the man.
Nay, though great Shakespeare stood in flesh before us,
Should heaven on importunity release him,
Is it so certain that he might not bore us,
So sure but we ourselves might fail to please him?
   Who prays to have the moon full soon would pray,
   Once it were his, to have it taken away.

“Men’s work we have,” said one, “but we want them—
Them, real to touch and clear to see.”
Is it really nothing, then, to have the gem
But still we must cry to have the setting too?
The body is a chest where the tools stay
With which the craftsman works as best he can
And, just as the chest hides the tools inside,
So does the body conceal and hide the man.
Nay, though great Shakespeare stood in flesh before us,
Should heaven on persistence release him,
Is it so certain that he might not bore us,
So sure that we ourselves might fail to please him?
   Who prays for the moon to be full soon would pray,
   Once it were his, to have it taken away.

xiv—The Life After Death

(A)

(A)

Μελλοντα ταυτα

Future

Not on sad Stygian shore, nor in clear sheen
Of far Elysian plain, shall we meet those
Among the dead whose pupils we have been,
Nor those great shades whom we have held as foes;
No meadow of asphodel our feet shall tread,
Nor shall we look each other in the face
To love or hate each other being dead,
Hoping some praise, or fearing some disgrace.
We shall not argue saying “’Twas thus” or “Thus,”
Our argument’s whole drift we shall forget;
Who’s right, who’s wrong, ’twill be all one to us;
We shall not even know that we have met.
   Yet meet we shall, and part, and meet again,
   Where dead men meet, on lips of living men.

Not on a sad, dark shore, nor in the bright light
Of a distant paradise, will we encounter those
Among the dead whom we once admired,
Nor those great spirits we considered enemies;
We won’t walk in any fields of asphodel,
Nor will we face each other
To love or hate each other in death,
Wishing for praise or fearing disgrace.
We won’t argue by saying “It was this way” or
“Actually, it was that,”
We’ll forget the entire point of our argument;
Who’s right, who’s wrong, won’t matter to us;
We won’t even realize that we’ve met.
Yet we will meet, part ways, and meet again,
Where the dead gather, in the words of the living.

(B)

(B)

HANDEL

HANDL

There doth great Handel live, imperious still,
Invisible and impalpable as air,
But forcing flesh and blood to work his will
Effectually as though his flesh were there;
He who gave eyes to ears and showed in sound
All thoughts and things in earth or heaven above.
From fire and hailstones running along the ground
To Galatea grieving for her love;
He who could show to all unseeing eyes
Glad shepherds watching o’er their flocks by night,
Or Iphis angel-wafted to the skies,
Or Jordan standing as an heap upright—
   He’ll meet both Jones and me and clap or hiss us
   Vicariously for having writ Narcissus.

There lives the great Handel, still commanding,
Invisible and untouchable like air,
But making flesh and blood obey his will
As effectively as if he were right there;
He who gave eyes to ears and revealed in sound
All thoughts and things on earth or heaven above.
From fire and hailstones racing along the ground
To Galatea mourning for her love;
He who could reveal to all blind eyes
Happy shepherds watching over their flocks at night,
Or Iphis carried to the skies by angels,
Or Jordan standing like a heap upright—
He’ll meet both Jones and me and clap or hiss
At us vicariously for having written Narcissus.

(C)

(C)

HANDEL

HANDEL

Father of my poor music—if such small
Offspring as mine, so born out of due time,
So scorn’d, can be called fatherful at all,
Or dare to thy high sonship’s rank to climb—
Best lov’d of all the dead whom I love best,
Though I love many another dearly too,
You in my heart take rank above the rest;
King of those kings that most control me, you,
You were about my path, about my bed
In boyhood always and, where’er I be,
Whate’er I think or do, you, in my head,
Ground-bass to all my thoughts, are still with me;
   Methinks the very worms will find some strain
   Of yours still lingering in my wasted brain.

Father of my humble music—if such minor
Creations of mine, so out of place,
So despised, can even be called fatherly,
Or dare to aspire to your lofty status—
Most loved of all the deceased whom I cherish most,
Though I hold many others dear as well,
You hold a special place in my heart above the rest;
King among those who deeply influence me, you,
You were always around my path, around my bed
In childhood, and wherever I go,
Whatever I think or do, you, in my mind,
Are the foundation of all my thoughts, still with me;
I believe even the worms will find some trace
Of you still lingering in my faded mind.

Footnotes

[16]  “The doctrine preached by Weismann was that to start with the body and inquire how its characters got into the germ was to view the sequence from the wrong end; the proper starting point was the germ, and the real question was not ‘How do the characters of the organism get into the germ-cell which it produces?’ but ‘How are the characters of an organism represented in the germ which produces it?’  Or, as Samuel Butler has it, the proper statement of the relation between successive generations is not to say that a hen produces another hen through the medium of an egg, but to say that a hen is merely an egg’s way of producing another egg.”  Breeding and the Mendelian Discovery, by A. D. Darbishire.  Cassell & Co., 1911, p. 187–8.

[16] “Weismann argued that starting with the body and trying to figure out how its traits ended up in the germ was looking at the situation from the wrong angle; the right place to begin is with the germ, and the key question isn't ‘How do the traits of the organism make it into the germ cell that it produces?’ but rather ‘How are the traits of an organism reflected in the germ that creates it?’ Or, as Samuel Butler said, the correct way to express the relationship between generations is not to say that a hen produces another hen through an egg, but to say that a hen is simply an egg’s way of making another egg.” Breeding and the Mendelian Discovery, by A. D. Darbishire. Cassell & Co., 1911, p. 187–8.

“It has, I believe, been often remarked that a hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.”  Life and Habit, Trübner & Co., 1878, chapter viii, p. 134.

“It has, I think, often been said that a hen is just an egg's way of producing another egg.” Life and Habit, Trübner & Co., 1878, chapter viii, p. 134.

And compare the idea underlying “The World of the Unborn” in Erewhon.

And compare the concept behind “The World of the Unborn” in Erewhon.

[26]  The two chapters entitled “The Rights of Animals” and “The Rights of Vegetables” appeared first in the new and revised edition of Erewhon 1901 and form part of the additions referred to in the preface to that book.

[26] The two chapters called “The Rights of Animals” and “The Rights of Vegetables” were first published in the new and updated edition of Erewhon in 1901 and are part of the additions mentioned in the preface of that book.

[30]  On the Alps
It is reported thou didst eat strange flesh,
Which some did die to look on: and all this—
It wounds thine honour that I speak it now—
Was borne so like a soldier, that thy cheek
So much as lank’d not.—Ant. & Cleop., I. iv. 66–71.

[30] On the Alps
It’s said you ate something unusual,
That some even died just to see it: and all this—
It damages your honor that I mention it now—
You carried it off so much like a soldier that your cheek
Didn’t even lose its color.—Ant. & Cleop., I. iv. 66–71.

[31]  Walks in the Regions of Science and Faith, by Harvey Goodwin, D.D., Lord Bishop of Carlisle.  John Murray, 1883.

[31] Explorations in Science and Faith, by Harvey Goodwin, D.D., Lord Bishop of Carlisle. John Murray, 1883.

[32a]  This quotation occurs on the title page of Charles Dickens and Rochester by Robert Langton.  Chapman & Hall, 1880.  Reprinted with additions from the Papers of the Manchester Literary Club, Vol. VI, 1880.  But the italics are Butler’s.

[32a] This quote appears on the title page of Charles Dickens and Rochester by Robert Langton. Chapman & Hall, 1880. Reprinted with updates from the Papers of the Manchester Literary Club, Vol. VI, 1880. But the italics are Butler’s.

[32b]  This is Butler’s note as he left it.  He made it just about the time he hit upon the theory that the Odyssey was written by a woman.  If it had caught his eye after that theory had become established in his mind, he would have edited it so as to avoid speaking of Homer as the author of the poem.

[32b] This is Butler’s note as he left it. He wrote it around the time he discovered the theory that the Odyssey was written by a woman. If he had seen it after that theory became established in his mind, he would have edited it to avoid referring to Homer as the author of the poem.

[41]  Life and Habit is dated 1878, but it actually appeared on Butler’s birthday, 4th December, 1877.

[41] Life and Habit is marked as 1878, but it actually came out on Butler’s birthday, December 4, 1877.

[92]  The five notes here amalgamated together into “Croesus and his Kitchen-Maid” were to have been part of an article for the Universal Review, but, before Butler wrote it, the review died.  I suppose, but I do not now remember, that the article would have been about Mind and Matter or Organs and Tools, and, possibly, all the concluding notes of this group, beginning with “Our Cells,” would have been introduced as illustrations.

[92] The five notes combined here into “Croesus and his Kitchen-Maid” were meant to be part of an article for the Universal Review, but before Butler could write it, the review ceased publication. I think, but I can’t recall now, that the article would have focused on Mind and Matter or Organs and Tools, and, possibly, all the concluding notes in this group, starting with “Our Cells,” would have been included as examples.

[106]  Cf. the note “Reproduction,” p. 16 ante.

[106]  See the note “Reproduction,” p. 16 before.

[107]  Evolution Old & New, p. 77.

[107] Evolution Old & New, p. 77.

[128]  Twelve Voluntaries and Fugues for the Organ or Harpsichord with Rules for Tuning.  By the celebrated Mr. Handel.  Butler had a copy of this book and gave it to the British Museum (Press Mark, e. 1089).  We showed the rules to Rockstro, who said they were very interesting and probably authentic; they would tune the instrument in one of the mean tone temperaments.

[128]  Twelve Voluntaries and Fugues for the Organ or Harpsichord with Rules for Tuning.  By the renowned Mr. Handel.  Butler had a copy of this book and donated it to the British Museum (Press Mark, e. 1089).  We shared the rules with Rockstro, who said they were quite interesting and likely authentic; they would tune the instrument in one of the mean tone temperaments.

[131]  Mr. Kemp lived in Barnard’s Inn on my staircase.  He was in the box-office at Drury Lane Theatre.  See a further note about him on p. 133 post.

[131] Mr. Kemp lived in Barnard’s Inn on my floor. He worked at the box office of Drury Lane Theatre. See more about him on p. 133 post.

[136]  If I remember right, the original Jubilee sixpence had to be altered because it was so like a half-sovereign that, on being gilded, it passed as one.

[136] If I remember correctly, the original Jubilee sixpence had to be changed because it was so similar to a half-sovereign that, when it was gold-plated, it was accepted as one.

[147]  Raffaelle’s picture “The Virgin and child attended by S. John the Baptist and S. Nicholas of Bari” (commonly known as the “Madonna degli Ansidei”), No. 1171, Room VI in the National Gallery, London, was purchased in 1885.  Butler made this note in the same year; he revised the note in 1897 but, owing to changes in the gallery and in the attributions, I have found it necessary to modernise his descriptions of the other pictures with gold thread work so as to make them agree with the descriptions now (1912) on the pictures themselves.

[147] Raffaelle’s painting “The Virgin and Child with St. John the Baptist and St. Nicholas of Bari” (commonly known as the “Madonna degli Ansidei”), No. 1171, Room VI in the National Gallery, London, was bought in 1885. Butler made this note in the same year; he updated the note in 1897, but due to changes in the gallery and the attributions, I've found it necessary to modernize his descriptions of the other artworks with gold thread work to ensure they match the descriptions currently (1912) displayed with the paintings themselves.

[151]  Cf. the passage in Alps and Sanctuaries, chapter XIII, beginning “The question whether it is better to abide quiet and take advantages of opportunities that come or to go further afield in search of them is one of the oldest which living beings have had to deal with. . . .  The schism still lasts and has resulted in two great sects—animals and plants.”

[151]  See the passage in Alps and Sanctuaries, chapter XIII, starting with, “The question of whether it's better to stay put and take advantage of the opportunities that come our way or to venture out and look for them is one of the oldest dilemmas that living beings have faced. . . . This divide still exists and has led to two major groups—animals and plants.”

[153]  Prince was my cat when I lived in Barnard’s Inn.  He used to stray into Mr. Kemp’s rooms on my landing (see p. 131 ante).  Mrs. Kemp’s sister brought her child to see them, and the child, playing with Prince one day, made a discovery and exclaimed:

[153] Prince was my cat when I lived in Barnard’s Inn. He would wander into Mr. Kemp’s rooms on my floor (see p. 131 ante). Mrs. Kemp’s sister brought her child to visit them, and one day, while playing with Prince, the child made a discovery and exclaimed:

“Oh! it’s got pins in its toes.”

“Oh! It's got pins in its toes.”

Butler put this into The Way of all Flesh.

Butler included this in The Way of All Flesh.

[162]  Philippians i. 15–18:—

__A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__ Philippians 1:15–18:—

Some indeed preach Christ even of envy and strife; and some also of good will:

Some really preach Christ out of jealousy and competition, while others do it with true goodwill:

The one preach Christ of contention, not sincerely, supposing to add affliction to my bonds:

The ones who preach Christ out of competition, not sincerely, hoping to make my imprisonment even harder:

But the other of love, knowing that I am set for the defence of the gospel.

But others are motivated by love, knowing that I am here to defend the gospel.

What then? notwithstanding, every way, whether in pretence, or in truth, Christ is preached; and I therein do rejoice, yea, and will rejoice.

So what now? No matter how it's being done, whether for show or out of genuine intent, Christ is being preached; and I’m happy about that, yes, and I will keep being happy.

[176]  Narcissus, “Should Riches mate with Love.”

[176]  Narcissus, “Should Wealth pair with Love.”

[235]  Butler gave this as a subject to Mr. E. P. Larken who made it into a short story entitled “The Priest’s Bargain,” which appeared in the Pall Mall Magazine, May, 1897.

[235] Butler suggested this topic to Mr. E. P. Larken, who turned it into a short story called “The Priest’s Bargain,” published in the Pall Mall Magazine in May 1897.

[203]  All things have I seen in the days of my vanity: there is a just man that perisheth in his righteousness, and there is a wicked man that prolongeth his life in his wickedness.

[203] I've seen everything in my empty days: a good person can die while doing what's right, and a bad person can live longer while being wicked.

Be not righteous over much; neither make thyself over wise: why shouldest thou destroy thyself?

Don’t be overly righteous; don’t be too wise. Why would you ruin yourself?

Be not over much wicked, neither be thou foolish: why shouldest thou die before thy time? (Eccles. vii. 15, 16, 17).

Don't be too wicked, and don't be foolish: why should you die before your time? (Eccles. vii. 15, 16, 17).

[204]  Cf.  “Imaginary Worlds,” p. 233 post.

[204]  See “Imaginary Worlds,” p. 233 later.

[225]  “So, again, it is said that when Andromeda and Perseus had travelled but a little way from the rock where Andromeda had so long been chained, she began upbraiding him with the loss of her dragon who, on the whole, she said, had been very good to her.  The only things we really hate are unfamiliar things.”  Life & Habit, Chapter viii, p. 138/9.

[225] “So, once again, it's mentioned that when Andromeda and Perseus had only traveled a short distance from the rock where Andromeda had been chained for so long, she started scolding him about the loss of her dragon, who, overall, she said, had treated her well. The only things we truly hate are things we don’t know.” Life & Habit, Chapter viii, p. 138/9.

[251]  This note is one of those that appeared in the New Quarterly Review.  The Hon. Mrs. Richard Grosvenor did not see it there, but a few years later I lent her my copy.  She wrote to me 31 December, 1911.

[251] This note is one of those that appeared in the New Quarterly Review. The Hon. Mrs. Richard Grosvenor didn’t see it there, but a few years later I lent her my copy. She wrote to me on December 31, 1911.

“The notes are delightful.  By the way I can add to one.  When Mr. Butler came to tell me he was going to stay with Dr. Creighton, he told me that Alfred had decided he might go on finding the little flake of tobacco in the letter.  Then he asked me if I would lend him a prayer-book as he thought the bishop’s man ought to find one in his portmanteau when he unpacked, the visit being from a Saturday to Monday.  I fetched one and he said:

"The notes are excellent. By the way, I can add something. When Mr. Butler came to inform me he was staying with Dr. Creighton, he mentioned that Alfred had decided to continue searching for the small piece of tobacco in the letter. Then he asked me if I could lend him a prayer book because he thought the bishop's assistant should find one in his suitcase when he unpacked, since the visit was from Saturday to Monday. I got one for him and he said:

“‘Is it cut?’”

“'Is it cut?'"

[261]  “Ramblings in Cheapside” in Essays on Life, Art and Science.

[261] “Ramblings in Cheapside” in Essays on Life, Art and Science.

[263]  Edmund Gurney, author of The Power of Sound, and Secretary of the Society for Psychical Research.

[263] Edmund Gurney, the writer of The Power of Sound, and the Secretary of the Society for Psychical Research.

[279]  Cf. Wamba’s explanation of the Saxon swine being converted into Norman pork on their death.  Ivanhoe, Chap. I.

[279]  See Wamba’s explanation of the Saxon pigs being turned into Norman pork upon their death.  Ivanhoe, Chap. I.

[282]  See “A Medieval Girl School” in Essays on Life, Art & Science.

[282]  See “A Medieval Girl School” in Essays on Life, Art & Science.

[333]  “Above all things, let no unwary reader do me the injustice of believing in me.  In that I write at all I am among the damned.  If he must believe in anything, let him believe in the music of Handel, the painting of Giovanni Bellini, and in the thirteenth chapter of St. Paul’s First Epistle to the Corinthians” (Life and Habit, close of chapter II).

[333] “Above all else, let no unsuspecting reader do me the injustice of placing their faith in me. By the mere act of writing, I count myself among the damned. If they must believe in something, let it be the music of Handel, the paintings of Giovanni Bellini, and the thirteenth chapter of St. Paul’s First Epistle to the Corinthians” (Life and Habit, close of chapter II).

[343]  “No one can hate drunkenness more than I do, but I am confident the human intellect owes its superiority over that of the lower animals in great measure to the stimulus which alcohol has given to imagination—imagination being little else than another name for illusion” (Alps and Sanctuaries, chapter III).

[343] “No one can dislike drunkenness more than I do, but I believe that human intellect owes its advantage over lower animals largely to the inspiration that alcohol provides to imagination—imagination being just another term for illusion” (Alps and Sanctuaries, chapter III).

[364]  There are letters from these people in The Life and Letters of Dr. Samuel Butler.

[364] There are letters from these people in The Life and Letters of Dr. Samuel Butler.

[369]  Butler made this note in 1899 before the publication of Shakespeare’s Sonnets Reconsidered, which was published in the same year.  The Odyssey Rendered info English Prose appeared in 1900 and Erewhon Revisited, the last book published in his lifetime, in 1901.  He made no analysis of the sales of these three books, nor of the sales of A First Year in Canterbury Settlement published in 1863, nor of his pamphlet The Evidence for the Resurrection, published in 1865.  The Way of all Flesh and Essays on Life, Art, and Science were not published till after his death.  I do not know what he means by A Book of Essays, unless it may be that he incurred an outlay of £3 11s. 9d. in connection with a projected republication of his articles in the Universal Review or of some of his Italian articles about the Odyssey.

[369] Butler made this note in 1899 before the release of Shakespeare’s Sonnets Reconsidered, which came out that same year. The Odyssey Rendered into English Prose was published in 1900, and Erewhon Revisited, the last book released during his lifetime, followed in 1901. He did not analyze the sales of these three books, nor of A First Year in Canterbury Settlement published in 1863, or his pamphlet The Evidence for the Resurrection, released in 1865. The Way of all Flesh and Essays on Life, Art, and Science were published only after his death. I’m not sure what he means by A Book of Essays, unless it refers to an expense of £3 11s. 9d. related to a planned republication of his articles in the Universal Review or some of his Italian pieces about the Odyssey.

[376]  Butler had two separate grounds of complaint against Charles Darwin, one scientific, the other personal.  With regard to the personal quarrel some facts came to light after Butler’s death and the subject is dealt with in a pamphlet entitled Charles Darwin and Samuel Butler: A Step towards Reconciliation, by Henry Festing Jones (A. C. Fifield, 1911).

[376] Butler had two distinct issues with Charles Darwin: one was scientific, and the other was personal. Regarding the personal conflict, some facts emerged after Butler’s death, and this topic is addressed in a pamphlet titled Charles Darwin and Samuel Butler: A Step towards Reconciliation, by Henry Festing Jones (A. C. Fifield, 1911).


Download ePUB

If you like this ebook, consider a donation!