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THE
DIAL
VOLUME LXXVI
January to June, 1924
THE DIAL PUBLISHING COMPANY
MARCH 1924
DEATH IN VENICE
BY THOMAS MANN
Translated From the German by Kenneth Burke
CONTENTS
CHAPTER __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_0__
CHAPTER __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_1__
CHAPTER __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_2__
CHAPTER __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_3__
CHAPTER __A_TAG_PLACEHOLDER_4__
I
On a spring afternoon of the year 19—, when our continent lay under such threatening weather for whole months, Gustav Aschenbach, or von Aschenbach as his name read officially after his fiftieth birthday, had left his apartment on the Prinzregentenstrasse in Munich and had gone for a long walk. Overwrought by the trying and precarious work of the forenoon—which had demanded a maximum wariness, prudence, penetration, and rigour of the will—the writer had not been able even after the noon meal to break the impetus of the productive mechanism within him, that motus animi continuus which constitutes, according to Cicero, the foundation of eloquence; and he had not attained the healing sleep which—what with the increasing exhaustion of his strength—he needed in the middle of each day. So he had gone outdoors soon after tea, in the hopes that air and movement would restore him and prepare him for a profitable evening.
On a spring afternoon in the year 19—, when our continent had been under such threatening weather for months, Gustav Aschenbach, or von Aschenbach as he was officially known after his fiftieth birthday, left his apartment on Prinzregentenstrasse in Munich and went for a long walk. Exhausted by the challenging and stressful work of the morning—which had required maximum caution, carefulness, insight, and willpower—the writer had been unable to shake off the drive for creativity within him, that motus animi continuus which, according to Cicero, is the foundation of eloquence; and he hadn’t achieved the restorative sleep he needed in the middle of the day due to his increasing fatigue. So, he headed outdoors shortly after tea, hoping that the fresh air and some movement would revitalize him and prepare him for a productive evening.
It was the beginning of May, and after cold, damp weeks a false midsummer had set in. The English Gardens, although the foliage was still fresh and sparse, were as pungent as in August, and in the parts nearer the city had been full of conveyances and promenaders. At the Aumeister, which he had reached by quieter and quieter paths, Aschenbach had surveyed for a short time the Wirtsgarten with its lively crowds and its border of cabs and carriages. From here, as the sun was sinking, he had started home, outside the park, across the open fields; and since he felt tired and a storm was threatening from the direction of Föhring, he waited at the North Cemetery for the tram which would take him directly back to the city.
It was the start of May, and after some cold, damp weeks, a fake midsummer had arrived. The English Gardens, even though the leaves were still fresh and sparse, smelled as strong as in August, and in the areas closer to the city, they were bustling with traffic and people out for walks. At the Aumeister, which he had reached by quieter and quieter paths, Aschenbach took a moment to look over the beer garden filled with lively crowds and its line of cabs and carriages. From there, as the sun was setting, he started his journey home, going outside the park and across the open fields; and since he felt tired and a storm was brewing from the direction of Föhring, he waited at the North Cemetery for the tram that would take him directly back to the city.
It happened that he found no one in the station or its vicinity. There was not a vehicle to be seen, either on the paved Ungererstrasse, with its solitary glistening rails stretching out towards Schwabing, or on the Föhringer Chaussee. Behind the fences of the stone-masons' establishments, where the crosses, memorial tablets, and monuments standing for sale formed a second, uninhabited burial ground, there was no sign of life; and opposite him the Byzantine structure of the Funeral Hall lay silent in the reflection of the departing day; its façade, ornamented in luminous colours with Greek crosses and hieratic paintings, above which were displayed inscriptions symmetrically arranged in gold letters, and texts chosen to bear on the life beyond; such as, "They enter into the dwelling of the Lord," or, "The light of eternity shall shine upon them." And for some time as he stood waiting he found a grave diversion in spelling out the formulas and letting his mind's eye lose itself in their transparent mysticism, when, returning from his reveries, he noticed in the portico, above the two apocalyptic animals guarding the steps, a man whose somewhat unusual appearance gave his thoughts an entirely new direction.
He found no one at the station or anywhere nearby. There wasn’t a single vehicle in sight, whether on the paved Ungererstrasse, with its lonely glistening tracks stretching toward Schwabing, or on the Föhringer Chaussee. Behind the fences of the stone masons’ shops, where crosses, memorial plaques, and monuments for sale created a second, empty graveyard, there was no sign of life. In front of him, the Byzantine structure of the Funeral Hall stood silent in the fading light of day; its façade, decorated in bright colors with Greek crosses and religious paintings, displayed inscriptions arranged symmetrically in gold letters—texts that reflected on the afterlife, such as "They enter into the dwelling of the Lord" or "The light of eternity shall shine upon them." As he waited, he found some amusement in reading the inscriptions and letting his imagination wander in their clear mysticism. Then, pulling himself out of his daydream, he noticed a man in the portico above the two apocalyptic creatures guarding the steps, whose rather unusual appearance redirected his thoughts entirely.
Whether he had just now come out from the inside through the bronze door, or had approached and mounted from the outside unobserved, remained uncertain. Aschenbach, without applying himself especially to the matter, was inclined to believe the former. Of medium height, thin, smooth-shaven, and noticeably pug-nosed, the man belonged to the red-haired type and possessed the appropriate fresh milky complexion. Obviously, he was not of Bavarian extraction, since at least the white and straight-brimmed straw hat that covered his head gave his appearance the stamp of a foreigner, of someone who had come from a long distance. To be sure, he was wearing the customary knapsack strapped across his shoulders, and a belted suit of rough yellow wool; his left arm was resting on his thigh, and his grey storm cape was thrown across it. In his right hand he held a cane with an iron ferrule, which he had stuck diagonally into the ground, and, with his feet crossed, was leaning his hip against the crook. His head was raised so that the Adam's-apple protruded hard and bare on a scrawny neck emerging from a loose sport-shirt. And he was staring sharply off into the distance, with colourless, red-lidded eyes between which stood two strong, vertical wrinkles peculiarly suited to his short, turned-up nose. Thus—and perhaps his elevated position helped to give the impression—his bearing had something majestic and commanding about it, something bold, or even savage. For whether he was grimacing because he was blinded by the setting sun, or whether it was a case of a permanent distortion of the physiognomy, his lips seemed too short, they were so completely pulled back from his teeth that these were exposed even to the gums, and stood out white and long.
Whether he had just come out through the bronze door or had approached and climbed up from outside without being seen was unclear. Aschenbach, without putting much thought into it, leaned toward the former. Of average height, thin, clean-shaven, and noticeably pug-nosed, the man looked like he belonged to the red-haired type and had the characteristic fresh, pale complexion. Clearly, he wasn’t from Bavaria, as the white, wide-brimmed straw hat on his head gave him the appearance of a foreigner, someone who had traveled a long way. He was indeed wearing the standard knapsack strapped across his shoulders and a belted suit made of rough yellow wool; his left arm rested on his thigh, with his grey storm cape draped over it. In his right hand, he held a cane with an iron tip, which he had stuck diagonally into the ground, and with his feet crossed, he leaned his hip against the crook of it. His head was tilted back, so his Adam's apple jutted out prominently on a skinny neck that emerged from a loose sport shirt. He was staring intently into the distance, with pallid, red-rimmed eyes framed by two deep vertical wrinkles that suited his short, upturned nose. Thus—and perhaps his elevated position contributed to the impression—there was something majestic and commanding about his demeanor, something bold or even wild. Whether he was grimacing because he was blinded by the setting sun or it was a result of a permanent facial distortion, his lips appeared too short, stretched so far back from his teeth that they were visible all the way to the gums, making them look white and long.
It is quite possible that Aschenbach, in his half-distracted, half-inquisitive examination of the stranger, had been somewhat inconsiderate, for he suddenly became aware that his look was being answered, and indeed so militantly, so straight in the eye, so plainly with the intention of driving the thing through to the very end and compelling him to capitulate, that he turned away uncomfortably and began walking along by the fences, deciding casually that he would pay no further attention to the man. The next minute he had forgotten him. But perhaps the exotic element in the stranger's appearance had worked on his imagination; or a new physical or spiritual influence of some sort had come into play. He was quite astonished to note a peculiar inner expansion, a kind of roving unrest, a youthful longing after far-off places: a feeling so vivid, so new, or so long dormant and neglected, that, with his hands behind his back and his eyes on the ground, he came to a sudden stop, and examined into the nature and purport of this emotion.
It’s possible that Aschenbach, in his distracted and curious look at the stranger, had been a bit rude, because he suddenly realized that the other man was staring back at him with such intensity—so boldly, so directly, and clearly with the intention to confront him that Aschenbach awkwardly looked away and started walking along the fences, casually deciding he wouldn’t pay any more attention to the man. In the next moment, he had completely forgotten about him. But maybe the strange aspects of the man's appearance had sparked something in his imagination; or perhaps some new influence—physical or spiritual—was at play. He was quite surprised to feel a unique inner expansion, a kind of restless roaming, a youthful desire for distant places: a feeling so intense, so fresh, or so long buried and overlooked that, with his hands behind his back and his eyes on the ground, he suddenly stopped and started to consider the nature and meaning of this emotion.
It was the desire for travel, nothing more; although, to be sure, it had attacked him violently, and was heightened to a passion, even to the point of an hallucination. His yearnings crystallized; his imagination, still in ferment from his hours of work, actually pictured all the marvels and terrors of a manifold world which it was suddenly struggling to conceive. He saw a landscape, a tropical swampland under a heavy, murky sky, damp, luxuriant, and enormous, a kind of prehistoric wilderness of islands, bogs, and arms of water, sluggish with mud; he saw, near him and in the distance, the hairy shafts of palms rising out of a rank lecherous thicket, out of places where the plant-life was fat, swollen, and blossoming exorbitantly; he saw strangely misshapen trees sending their roots into the ground, into stagnant pools with greenish reflections; and here, between floating flowers which were milk-white and large as dishes, birds of a strange nature, high-shouldered, with crooked bills, were standing in the muck, and looking motionlessly to one side; between dense, knotted stalks of bamboo he saw the glint from the eyes of a crouching tiger—and he felt his heart knocking with fear and with puzzling desires. Then the image disappeared; and with a shake of his head Aschenbach resumed his walk along past the fences of the stone-masons' establishments.
It was the desire to travel, nothing more; although, it had hit him hard and turned into a passion, even bordering on an obsession. His longings clarified; his imagination, still buzzing from his hours of work, vividly envisioned all the wonders and dangers of a diverse world that it was suddenly trying to grasp. He pictured a landscape, a tropical swamp under a heavy, gloomy sky, damp, lush, and vast, like a kind of prehistoric wilderness of islands, bogs, and sluggish waters filled with mud; he saw, both near and far, the hairy trunks of palm trees emerging from a thick, overgrown thicket, from areas where the vegetation was dense, swollen, and blooming wildly; he saw oddly shaped trees sending their roots into the earth, into stagnant pools with greenish reflections; and here, among floating flowers that were as large as dishes and bright white, stood birds of a strange kind, tall, with curved beaks, standing in the muck and gazing motionlessly to one side; between dense, twisted bamboo stalks, he saw the glint of a crouching tiger's eyes—and he felt his heart pounding with fear and confusing desires. Then the vision faded; and with a shake of his head, Aschenbach continued his walk past the fences of the stone masons' shops.
Since the time, at least, when he could command the means to enjoy the advantages of moving about the world as he pleased, he had considered travelling simply as an hygienic precaution which must be complied with now and then despite one's feelings and one's preferences. Too busy with the tasks arranged for him by his interest in his own ego and in the problems of Europe, too burdened with the onus of production, too little prone to diversion, and in no sense an amateur of the varied amusements of the great world, he had been thoroughly satisfied with such knowledge of the earth's surface as any one can get without moving far out of his own circle; and he had never even been tempted to leave Europe. Especially now that his life was slowly on the decline, and that the artist's fear of not having finished—this uneasiness lest the clock run down before he had done his part and given himself completely—could no longer be waived aside as a mere whim, he had confined his outer existence almost exclusively to the beautiful city which had become his home and to the rough country house which he had built in the mountains and where he spent the rainy summers.
Since at least the time he could afford to travel freely, he saw traveling as a necessary health precaution to be taken occasionally, regardless of his feelings or preferences. He was too focused on the tasks driven by his self-interest and the issues in Europe, too weighed down by the demands of work, not inclined to seek enjoyment, and certainly not a fan of the diverse entertainment the world offered. He felt completely satisfied with the basic knowledge of the world that anyone can gain without straying far from their familiar surroundings, and he had never felt the urge to leave Europe. Particularly now that his life was slowly winding down, and the artist’s anxiety of not having completed his work—that worry of the clock running out before he had done his part and fully realized himself—could no longer be dismissed as a mere whim, he had limited his experiences almost entirely to the beautiful city that had become his home and the simple country house he built in the mountains, where he spent the rainy summers.
Further, this thing which had laid hold of him so belatedly, but with such suddenness, was very readily moderated and adjusted by the force of his reason and of a discipline which he had practised since youth. He had intended carrying his life work forward to a certain point before removing to the country. And the thought of knocking about the world for months and neglecting his work during this time, seemed much too lax and contrary to his plans; it really could not be considered seriously. Yet he knew only too well what the reasons were for this unexpected temptation. It was the urge to escape—he admitted to himself—this yearning for the new and the remote, this appetite for freedom, for unburdening, for forgetfulness; it was a pressure away from his work, from the steady drudgery of a coldly passionate service. To be sure, he loved this work and almost loved the enervating battle that was fought daily between a proud tenacious will—so often tested—and this growing weariness which no one was to suspect and which must not betray itself in his productions by any sign of weakness or negligence. But it seemed wise not to draw the bow overtightly, and not to strangle by sheer obstinacy so strongly persistent an appetite. He thought of his work, thought of the place at which yesterday and now again to-day he had been forced to leave off, and which, it seemed, would yield neither to patience and coaxing nor to a definite attack. He examined it again, trying to break through or to circumvent the deadlock, but he gave up with a shudder of repugnance. There was no unusual difficulty here; what balked him were the scruples of aversion, which took the form of a fastidious insatiability. Even as a young man this insatiability had meant to him the very nature, the fullest essence, of talent; and for that reason he had restrained and chilled his emotions, since he was aware that they incline to content themselves with a happy approximation, a state of semi-completion. Were these enslaved emotions now taking their vengeance on him, by leaving him in the lurch, by refusing to forward and lubricate his art; and were they bearing off with them every enjoyment, every live interest in form and expression?
Moreover, this thing that had suddenly taken hold of him, albeit late, was easily controlled and adjusted by the strength of his reasoning and the discipline he had practiced since childhood. He had planned to keep his life’s work moving forward to a certain stage before moving to the countryside. The idea of wandering around for months and neglecting his work during that time felt way too relaxed and contrary to his plans; it really couldn’t be taken seriously. Yet he was all too aware of the reasons behind this unexpected temptation. It was the desire to escape—he admitted to himself—this longing for the new and distant, this craving for freedom, for release, for forgetfulness; it was a pull away from his work, from the relentless grind of a cool, passionate service. Of course, he loved this work and almost loved the exhausting struggle that happened every day between a proud, stubborn will—so often tested—and this growing weariness that no one was supposed to suspect and that must not show itself in his creations by any hint of weakness or carelessness. But it seemed wise not to stretch the bow too tightly and not to suffocate such a persistent craving through sheer stubbornness. He thought about his work, thought about the point at which yesterday and again today he had been forced to stop, and which, it seemed, would yield neither to patience and coaxing nor to a determined attack. He looked at it again, trying to break through or find a way around the deadlock, but he gave up with a shiver of disgust. There was no unusual difficulty here; what held him back were the feelings of aversion, which manifested as a picky insatiability. Even as a young man, this insatiability represented to him the essence, the full nature, of talent; and for that reason, he had restrained and cooled his emotions, knowing they tended to settle for a happy approximation, a state of almost completion. Were these suppressed emotions now taking their revenge on him by abandoning him, refusing to drive and smooth out his art; and were they carrying away every enjoyment, every real interest in form and expression?
Not that he was producing anything bad; his years gave him at least this advantage, that he felt himself at all times in full and easy possession of his craftsmanship. But while the nation honoured him for this, he himself was not content; and it seemed to him that his work lacked the marks of that fiery and fluctuating emotionalism which is an enormous thing in one's favour, and which, while it argues an enjoyment on the part of the author, also constitutes, more than any depth of content, the enjoyment of the amateur. He feared the summer in the country, alone in the little house with the maid who prepared his meals, and the servant who brought them to him. He feared the familiar view of the mountain peaks and the slopes which would stand about him in his boredom and his discontent. Consequently there was need of a break in some new direction. If the summer was to be endurable and productive, he must attempt something out of his usual orbit; he must relax, get a change of air, bring an element of freshness into the blood. To travel, then—that much was settled. Not far, not all the way to the tigers. But one night on the sleeper, and a rest of three or four weeks at some pleasant popular resort in the South. . . .
Not that he was making anything bad; his years gave him at least this advantage: he felt completely and easily in control of his craft. But even though the nation honored him for this, he wasn’t satisfied; it seemed to him that his work lacked the signs of that intense and changing emotional energy which is hugely beneficial, and which, while indicating the author’s enjoyment, also represents, more than any depth of content, the enjoyment of the amateur. He dreaded the summer in the countryside, being alone in the little house with the maid who made his meals and the servant who brought them to him. He dreaded the familiar sight of the mountain peaks and slopes that would surround him in his boredom and discontent. Therefore, he needed a change in some new direction. If the summer was going to be bearable and productive, he had to try something out of his usual routine; he needed to unwind, get a change of scenery, and bring some freshness into his life. So, traveling it was—that much was decided. Not too far, not all the way to the tigers. Just one night on the sleeper train and three or four weeks of rest at some nice, popular resort in the South...
He thought this out while the noise of the electric tram came nearer along the Ungererstrasse; and as he boarded it he decided to devote the evening to the study of maps and time-tables. On the platform it occurred to him to look around for the man in the straw hat, his companion during that most significant time spent waiting at the station. But his whereabouts remained uncertain, as he was not to be seen either at the place where he was formerly standing, or anywhere else in the vicinity of the station, or on the car itself.
He thought about this as the sound of the electric tram got closer along Ungererstrasse; and when he got on, he decided to spend the evening studying maps and schedules. On the platform, it struck him to look for the guy in the straw hat, his companion from that important time spent waiting at the station. But he was nowhere to be found, not at the spot where he had been standing, nor anywhere else around the station, or on the tram itself.
II
The author of that lucid and powerful prose epic built around the life of Frederick of Prussia; the tenacious artist who, after long application, wove rich, varied strands of human destiny together under one single predominating theme in the fictional tapestry known as Maya; the creator of that stark tale which is called The Wretch and which pointed out for an entire oncoming generation the possibility of some moral certainty beyond pure knowledge; finally, the writer (and this sums up briefly the works of his mature period) of the impassioned treatise on Art and the Spirit, whose capacity for mustering facts, and, further, whose fluency in their presentation, led cautious judges to place this treatise alongside Schiller's conclusions on naïve and sentimental poetry—Gustav Aschenbach, then, was the son of a higher law official, and was born in L——, a leading city in the Province of Silesia. His forbears had been officers, magistrates, government functionaries, men who had led severe, steady lives serving their king, their state. A deeper strain of spirituality had been manifest in them once, in the person of a preacher; the preceding generation had brought a brisker, more sensuous blood into the family through the author's mother, daughter of a Bohemian band-master. The traces of foreignness in his features came from her. A marriage of sober painstaking conscientiousness with impulses of a darker, more fiery nature had had an artist as its result, and this particular artist.
The author of that clear and powerful prose epic about the life of Frederick of Prussia; the determined artist who, after much effort, wove rich, diverse strands of human fate together under one main theme in the fictional tapestry known as Maya; the creator of that stark story called The Wretch, which highlighted for an entire upcoming generation the possibility of some moral certainty beyond mere knowledge; finally, the writer (and this summarizes his mature works) of the passionate treatise on Art and the Spirit, whose ability to gather facts, and whose fluency in presenting them, led cautious critics to place this treatise alongside Schiller's conclusions on naive and sentimental poetry—Gustav Aschenbach, then, was the son of a higher law official and was born in L——, a prominent city in the Province of Silesia. His ancestors had been officers, magistrates, government officials, men who lived serious, steady lives serving their king and their state. A deeper vein of spirituality had once shown in them, through a preacher; the previous generation had introduced a livelier, more sensual bloodline into the family through the author's mother, who was the daughter of a Bohemian bandmaster. The traces of foreignness in his features came from her. A blend of careful, diligent conscientiousness with impulses of a darker, more passionate nature resulted in an artist—this particular artist.
Since his whole nature was centred around acquiring a reputation, he showed himself, if not exactly precocious, at least (thanks to the firmness and pithiness of his personality, his accent) ripened and adjusted to the public at an early age. Almost as a schoolboy he had made a name for himself. Within ten years he had learned to face the world through the medium of his writing-table, to discharge the obligations of his fame in a correspondence which (since many claims are pressed on the successful, the trustworthy) had to be brief as well as pleasant and to the point. At forty, wearied by the vicissitudes and the exertion of his own work, he had to manage a daily mail which bore the postmarks of countries in all parts of the world.
Since his entire nature revolved around building a reputation, he presented himself, if not exactly advanced for his age, at least (thanks to the strength and clarity of his character, his accent) refined and ready for the public at an early age. Almost as a schoolboy, he had made a name for himself. Within ten years, he had learned to confront the world through his writing desk, to fulfill the demands of his fame with a correspondence that (since many requests come from the successful and reliable) had to be concise as well as enjoyable and to the point. At forty, tired from the ups and downs and the demands of his own work, he had to handle a daily mail that carried postmarks from countries all around the globe.
Equally removed from the banal and the eccentric, his talents were so constituted as to gain both the confidence of the general public and the stable admiration and sympathy of the critical. Thus even as a young man continually devoted to the pursuit of craftsmanship—and that of no ordinary kind—he had never known the careless freedom of youth. When, around thirty-five years of age, he had been taken ill in Vienna, one sharp observer said of him in company, "You see, Aschenbach has always lived like this," and the speaker contracted the fingers of his left hand into a fist; "never like this," and he let his open hand droop comfortably from the arm of his chair. That hit the mark; and the heroic, the ethical about it all was that he was not of a strong constitution, and though he was pledged by his nature to these steady efforts, he was not really born to them.
Equally distant from the ordinary and the bizarre, his abilities were shaped in a way that earned both the trust of the general public and the consistent admiration and sympathy of critics. So even as a young man fully committed to the pursuit of craftsmanship—and not just any craftsmanship—he had never experienced the carefree freedom of youth. When he fell ill in Vienna around the age of thirty-five, an observant person remarked in a gathering, "You see, Aschenbach has always lived like this," and the speaker clenched the fingers of his left hand into a fist; "never like this," and he let his open hand relax comfortably from the arm of his chair. That was spot on; and the remarkable and commendable part was that he didn’t have a strong constitution, and even though he was naturally inclined to these relentless efforts, he wasn’t really destined for them.
Considerations of ill-health had kept him from attending school as a boy, and had compelled him to receive instruction at home. He had grown up alone, without comrades—and he was forced to realize soon enough that he belonged to a race which often lacked, not talent, but that physical substructure which talent relies on for its fullest fruition: a race accustomed to giving its best early, and seldom extending its faculties over the years. But his favourite phrase was "carrying through"; in his novel on Frederick he saw the pure apotheosis of this command, which struck him as the essential concept of the virtuous in action and passion. Also, he wished earnestly to grow old, since he had always maintained that the only artistry which can be called truly great, comprehensive, yes even truly admirable, is that which is permitted to bear fruits characteristic of each stage in human development.
Health issues had kept him from attending school as a child, forcing him to learn at home. He had grown up alone, without friends—and he came to realize quickly that he belonged to a group that often lacked, not talent, but the physical foundation that talent needs to fully develop: a group used to giving their best early and rarely extending their abilities over the years. But his favorite phrase was "carrying through"; in his novel about Frederick, he saw the pure embodiment of this mantra, which he viewed as the core idea of virtue in action and passion. He also sincerely wanted to grow old, as he always believed that the only artistry that can be truly great, all-encompassing, and even genuinely admirable, is that which is allowed to showcase the distinct fruits of each stage in human development.
Since he must carry the responsibilities of his talent on frail shoulders, and wanted to go a long way, the primary requirement was discipline—and fortunately discipline was his direct inheritance from his father's side. By forty, fifty, or at an earlier age when others are still slashing about with enthusiasm, and are contentedly putting off to some later date the execution of plans on a large scale, he would start the day early, dashing cold water over his chest and back, and then with a couple of tall wax candles in silver candlesticks at the head of his manuscript, he would pay out to his art, in two or three eager, scrupulous morning hours, the strength which he had accumulated in sleep. It was pardonable, indeed it was a direct tribute to the effectiveness of his moral scheme, that the uninitiated took his Maya world, and the massive epic machinery upon which the life of the hero Frederick was unrolled, as evidence of long breath and sustaining power. While actually they had been built up layer by layer, in small daily allotments, through hundreds and hundreds of single inspirations. And if they were so excellent in both composition and texture, it was solely because their creator had held out for years under the strain of one single work, with a steadiness of will and a tenacity comparable to that which conquered his native province; and because, finally, he had turned over his most vital and valuable hours to the problem of minute revision.
Since he had to bear the weight of his talent on fragile shoulders and aspired to achieve great things, the main requirement was discipline—and thankfully, discipline was something he inherited from his father's side. By the time he was forty or fifty, or even earlier when others were still floundering with enthusiasm and content to delay their big plans, he would wake up early, splash cold water on his chest and back, and then with a couple of tall wax candles in silver candlesticks beside his manuscript, he would dedicate two or three focused and careful morning hours to his art, pouring out the energy he had gathered from sleep. It was understandable, and indeed a testament to the effectiveness of his moral framework, that those who weren't familiar viewed his intricate world and the grand epic machinery that unfolded the life of hero Frederick as proof of enduring talent and sustained power. In reality, they were crafted layer by layer, through small daily efforts, thanks to hundreds and hundreds of single inspirations. And if the work was exceptional in both composition and quality, it was solely because its creator persevered for years under the pressure of one single project, displaying a willpower and determination akin to that which enabled him to conquer his homeland; and because, ultimately, he dedicated his most crucial and precious hours to the process of meticulous revision.
In order that a significant work of the mind may exert immediately some broad and deep effect, a secret relationship, or even conformity, must exist between the personal destiny of the author and the common destiny of his contemporaries. People do not know why they raise a work of art to fame. Far from being connoisseurs, they believe that they see in it hundreds of virtues which justify so much interest; but the true reason for their applause is an unconscious sympathy. Aschenbach had once stated quite plainly in some remote place that nearly everything great which comes into being does so in spite of something—in spite of sorrow or suffering, poverty, destitution, physical weakness, depravity, passion, or a thousand other handicaps. But that was not merely an observation; it was a discovery, the formula of his life and reputation, the key to his work. And what wonder then that it was also the distinguishing moral trait, the dominating gesture, of his most characteristic figures?
For a significant work of the mind to have an immediate and profound impact, there must be a hidden connection, or even a similarity, between the author's personal journey and the shared experiences of their contemporaries. People often don't understand why they elevate a piece of art to greatness. Instead of being experts, they think they see countless qualities that justify their interest; however, the real reason for their admiration is an unconscious empathy. Aschenbach had once clearly stated in a faraway place that nearly everything great emerges in spite of certain challenges—sorrow or suffering, poverty, deprivation, physical weakness, moral decay, passion, or a thousand other obstacles. But that was not just an observation; it was a revelation, the guiding principle of his life and reputation, the essence of his work. So, it’s no surprise that it also became the defining moral trait and the central theme of his most distinct characters.
Years before, one shrewd analyst had written of the new hero-type to which this author gave preference, and which kept turning up in variations of one sort or another: he called it the conception of "an intellectual and youthful masculinity" which "stands motionless, haughty, ashamed, with jaw set, while swords and spear-points beset the body." That was beautiful and ingenious; and it was exact, although it may have seemed to suggest too much passivity. For to be poised against fatality, to meet adverse conditions gracefully, is more than simple endurance; it is an act of aggression, a positive triumph—and the figure of Sebastian is the most beautiful figure, if not of art as a whole, at least of the art of literature. Looking into this fictional world, one saw: a delicate self-mastery by which any inner deterioration, any biological decay was kept concealed from the eyes of the world; a crude, vicious sensuality capable of fanning its rising passions into pure flame, yes, even of mounting to dominance in the realm of beauty; a pallid weakness which draws from the glowing depths of the soul the strength to bow whole arrogant peoples before the foot of the cross, or before the feet of weakness itself; a charming manner maintained in his cold, strict service to form; a false, precarious mode of living, and the keenly enervating melancholy and artifice of the born deceiver—to observe such trials as this was enough to make one question whether there really was any heroism other than weakness. And in any case, what heroism could be more in keeping with the times? Gustav Aschenbach was the one poet among the many workers on the verge of exhaustion: all those over-burdened, used-up, tenacious moralists of production who, delicately built and destitute of means, can rely for a time at least on will-power and the shrewd husbandry of their resources to secure the effects of greatness. There are many such: they are the heroes of the period. And they all found themselves in his works; here they were indeed, upheld, intensified, applauded; they were grateful to him, they acclaimed him.
Years ago, a perceptive analyst wrote about the new type of hero that this author favored, which appeared in various forms: he described it as the idea of "an intellectual and youthful masculinity" that "stands still, proud, and ashamed, with clenched jaw, while swords and spear-points surround the body." That was beautiful and clever, and it was accurate, even if it might have seemed to hint at a bit too much passivity. For being poised against fate, gracefully facing tough circumstances, is more than just simple endurance; it's an act of aggression, a definite triumph—and the figure of Sebastian represents the most striking image, if not in art as a whole, then at least in the art of literature. Looking into this fictional world, one saw: a delicate self-control that kept any inner decay or biological decline hidden from the world; a raw, vicious sensuality that could turn rising passions into pure flame, even achieving dominance in the realm of beauty; a pale weakness that draws strength from the glowing depths of the soul to make entire arrogant nations bow before the cross, or before weakness itself; a charming demeanor maintained in his strict, cold adherence to form; a deceptive, fragile way of living, along with the keenly draining melancholy and cunning of the natural deceiver—observing such struggles was enough to make one question whether there was any heroism beyond weakness. And in any case, what kind of heroism could fit the times better? Gustav Aschenbach was the one poet among many weary workers: all those overburdened, drained, determined moralists of production who, delicately built and lacking resources, could rely for a while at least on willpower and wise management of their resources to achieve greatness. There are many like them: they are the heroes of the age. And they all found themselves in his works; here they were indeed, supported, intensified, celebrated; they were thankful to him, they praised him.
In his time he had been young and raw; and misled by his age he had blundered in public. He had stumbled, had exposed himself; both in writing and in talk he had offended against caution and tact. But he had acquired the dignity which, as he insisted, is the innate goad and craving of every great talent; in fact, it could be said that his entire development had been a conscious undeviating progression away from the embarrassments of scepticism and irony, and towards dignity.
In his youth, he had been inexperienced and made mistakes in public due to his age. He had tripped up and embarrassed himself; in both his writing and speaking, he had lacked caution and sensitivity. However, he had gained the dignity that, as he claimed, is a natural drive and desire of every great talent; in fact, it could be said that his entire growth had been a deliberate and steady journey away from the awkwardness of skepticism and irony, and toward dignity.
The general masses are satisfied by vigour and tangibility of treatment rather than by any close intellectual processes; but youth, with its passion for the absolute, can be arrested only by the problematical. And Aschenbach had been absolute, problematical, as only a youth could be. He had been a slave to the intellect, had played havoc with knowledge, had ground up his seed crops, had divulged secrets, had discredited talent, had betrayed art—yes, while his modellings were entertaining the faithful votaries, filling them with enthusiasm, making their lives more keen, this youthful artist was taking the breath away from the generation then in its twenties by his cynicisms on the questionable nature of art, and of artistry itself.
The general public is more pleased by vigorous and tangible experiences than by deep intellectual exploration; however, youth, with its thirst for the absolute, can only be captured by the uncertain. Aschenbach had embodied that absolute uncertainty, just like a young person would. He had been a prisoner of intellect, had wreaked havoc on knowledge, had destroyed his foundational ideas, revealed secrets, undermined talent, and betrayed art—yes, while his creations were entertaining devoted followers, inspiring them and making their lives more vibrant, this young artist was stunning the generation in their twenties with his cynical views on the questionable nature of art and artistry itself.
But it seems that nothing blunts the edge of a noble, robust mind more quickly and more thoroughly than the sharp and bitter corrosion of knowledge; and certainly the moody radicalism of the youth, no matter how conscientious, was shallow in comparison with his firm determination as an older man and a master to deny knowledge, to reject it, to pass it with raised head, in so far as it is capable of crippling, discouraging, or degrading to the slightest degree, our will, acts, feelings, or even passions. How else could the famous story of The Wretch be understood than as an outburst of repugnance against the disreputable psychologism of the times: embodied in the figure of that soft and stupid half-clown who pilfers a destiny for himself by guiding his wife (from powerlessness, from lasciviousness, from ethical frailty) into the arms of an adolescent, and believes that he may through profundity commit vileness? The verbal pressure with which he here cast out the outcast announced the return from every moral scepticism, from all fellow-feeling with the engulfed: it was the counter-move to the laxity of the sympathetic principle that to understand all is to forgive all—and the thing that was here well begun, even nearly completed, was that "miracle of reborn ingenuousness" which was taken up a little later in one of the author's dialogues expressly and not without a certain discreet emphasis. Strange coincidences! Was it as a result of this rebirth, this new dignity and sternness, that his feeling for beauty—a discriminating purity, simplicity, and evenness of attack which henceforth gave his productions such an obvious, even such a deliberate stamp of mastery and classicism—showed an almost excessive strengthening about this time? But ethical resoluteness in the exclusion of science, of emancipatory and restrictive knowledge—does this not in turn signify a simplification, a reduction morally of the world to too limited terms, and thus also a strengthened capacity for the forbidden, the evil, the morally impossible? And does not form have two aspects? Is it not moral and unmoral at once—moral in that it is the result and expression of discipline, but unmoral, and even immoral, in that by nature it contains an indifference to morality, is calculated, in fact, to make morality bend beneath its proud and unencumbered sceptre?
But it seems that nothing dulls the edge of a noble, strong mind faster and more completely than the sharp and bitter erosion of knowledge; and surely the moody radicalism of youth, no matter how genuine, was superficial compared to his firm determination as an older man and a master to deny knowledge, to reject it, to rise above it, as long as it has the potential to cripple, discourage, or degrade even the slightest bit our will, actions, feelings, or even passions. How else could we understand the famous story of The Wretch except as an expression of disgust against the disreputable psychology of the times, embodied in the figure of that foolish and soft half-clown who steals a destiny for himself by leading his wife (away from powerlessness, lasciviousness, and ethical weakness) into the arms of a young man, believing that through deep thinking he can justify his shameful actions? The verbal force with which he rejected the outcast marked a return from all moral skepticism, from any empathy with the lost: it was a counteraction to the leniency of the sympathetic notion that to understand everything is to forgive everything—and what was here well-started, even nearly finished, was that "miracle of reborn innocence" which was later picked up in one of the author's dialogues with a particular discreet emphasis. Strange coincidences! Was this rebirth, this new dignity and seriousness, the reason his sense of beauty—defined by a discriminating purity, simplicity, and evenness of approach, which from then on gave his work such a clear, even deliberate signature of mastery and classicism—seemed to strengthen excessively around this time? But does ethical determination in excluding science, emancipating, and restrictive knowledge not signify a simplification, a moral reduction of the world to overly narrow terms, and thus also a greater capacity for the forbidden, the evil, and the morally impossible? And does form not have two sides? Is it not both moral and unmoral at the same time—moral because it is the result and expression of discipline, but unmoral, and even immoral, in that by nature it shows indifference to morality, actually designed to make morality bend under its proud and unencumbered rule?
Be that as it may. An evolution is a destiny; and why should his evolution, which had been upheld by the general confidence of a vast public, not run through a different course from one accomplished outside the lustre and the entanglements of fame? Only chronic vagabondage will find it tedious and be inclined to scoff when a great talent outgrows the libertine chrysalis-stage, learns to seize upon and express the dignity of the mind, and superimposes a formal etiquette upon a solitude which had been filled with unchastened and rigidly isolated sufferings and struggles and had brought all this to a point of power and honour among men. Further, how much sport, defiance, indulgence there is in the self-formation of a talent! Gradually something official, didactic crept into Gustav Aschenbach's productions, his style in later life fought shy of any abruptness and boldness, any subtle and unexpected contrasts; he inclined towards the fixed and standardized, the conventionally elegant, the conservative, the formal, the formulated, nearly. And, as is traditionally said of Louis XIV, with the advancing years he came to omit every common word from his vocabulary. At about this time it happened that the educational authorities included selected pages by him in their prescribed school readers. This was deeply sympathetic to his nature, and he did not decline when a German prince who had just mounted to the throne raised the author of the Frederick to nobility on the occasion of his fiftieth birthday. After a few years of unrest, a few tentative stopping-places here and there, he soon chose Munich as his permanent home, and lived there in a state of middle-class respectability such as fits in with the life of the mind in certain individual instances. The marriage which, when still young, he had contracted with a girl of an educated family came to an end with her death after a short period of happiness. He was left with a daughter, now married. He had never had a son.
That said, evolution is a destiny; so why shouldn’t his evolution, supported by the widespread confidence of many, take a different path than one achieved outside the glow and complexities of fame? Only chronic wanderers would find it tedious and might scoff when a great talent moves beyond its carefree phase, learns to grasp and express the dignity of thought, and imposes a formal etiquette on a solitude filled with unrestrained and intensely isolated suffering and struggles that have culminated in power and respect among people. Moreover, there’s so much enjoyment, defiance, and indulgence in the self-creation of talent! Gradually, something official and instructional began to creep into Gustav Aschenbach's works; his style in later years avoided abruptness and boldness, as well as subtle and unexpected contrasts; he leaned towards the fixed and standardized, the conventionally elegant, the conservative, the formal, nearly. And, as is often said about Louis XIV, as he aged, he started to eliminate common words from his vocabulary. Around this time, the education authorities included selected pages by him in their required school readers. This deeply resonated with his nature, and he accepted when a German prince, newly ascended to the throne, honored him with nobility on his fiftieth birthday. After a few years of turmoil and some tentative stops along the way, he soon chose Munich as his permanent home, living there in a state of middle-class respectability that suits the intellectual life in certain individual cases. The marriage he had entered into at a young age with a girl from an educated family ended with her death after a brief period of happiness. He was left with a daughter, who is now married. He had never had a son.
Gustav von Aschenbach was somewhat below average height, dark, and smooth-shaven. His head seemed a bit too large in comparison with his almost dapper figure. His hair was brushed straight back, thinning out towards the crown, but very full about the temples, and strongly marked with grey; it framed a high, ridged forehead. Gold spectacles with rimless lenses cut into the bridge of his bold, heavy nose. The mouth was big, sometimes drooping, sometimes suddenly pinched and firm. His cheeks were thin and wrinkled, his well-formed chin had a slight cleft. This head, usually bent patiently to one side, seemed to have gone through momentous experiences, and yet it was his art which had produced those effects in his face, effects which are elsewhere the result of hard and agitated living. Behind this brow the brilliant repartee of the dialogue on war between Voltaire and the king had been born; these eyes, peering steadily and wearily from behind their glasses, had seen the bloody inferno of the lazaret in the Seven Years' War. Even as it applies to the individual, art is a heightened mode of existence. It gives deeper pleasures, it consumes more quickly. It carves into its servants' faces the marks of imaginary and spiritual adventures, and though their external activities may be as quiet as a cloister, it produces a lasting voluptuousness, over-refinement, fatigue, and curiosity of the nerves such as can barely result from a life filled with illicit passions and enjoyments.
Gustav von Aschenbach was somewhat below average height, dark, and clean-shaven. His head seemed a bit too large compared to his almost stylish figure. His hair was slicked back, thinning at the crown but still full at the sides, with prominent grey strands; it framed a high, ridged forehead. Gold-rimmed glasses with no frames cut into the bridge of his prominent, sturdy nose. His mouth was large, sometimes drooping, sometimes suddenly tight and firm. His cheeks were thin and wrinkled, and his well-defined chin had a slight cleft. This head, typically tilted patiently to one side, seemed to have experienced significant events, yet it was his art that had left those marks on his face—marks that elsewhere come from a life of hardship and turmoil. Behind his brow, the clever exchanges from the debate on war between Voltaire and the king had originated; those eyes, peering steadily and wearily from behind their glasses, had witnessed the bloody chaos of the lazaret during the Seven Years' War. Just like for individuals, art is an elevated way of living. It offers deeper pleasures but consumes them quickly. It carves the traces of imagined and spiritual adventures into the faces of its followers, and while their external lives may be as quiet as that of a monastery, it produces a lasting sense of indulgence, over-refinement, fatigue, and a nerve-wracking curiosity that can hardly emerge from a life filled with forbidden passions and delights.
III
Various matters of a literary and social nature delayed his departure until about two weeks after that walk in Munich. Finally he gave orders to have his country house ready for occupancy within a month; and one day between the middle and the end of May he took the night train for Trieste, where he made a stop-over of only twenty-four hours, and embarked the following morning for Pola.
Various literary and social matters delayed his departure until about two weeks after that walk in Munich. Finally, he ordered his country house to be ready for occupancy within a month; and one day between mid-May and the end of the month, he took the night train to Trieste, where he stayed for just twenty-four hours, and boarded the ship the next morning for Pola.
What he was hunting was something foreign and unrelated to himself which would at the same time be quickly within reach; and so he stopped at an island in the Adriatic which had become well-known in recent years. It lay not far off the Istrian coast, with beautifully rugged cliffs fronting the open sea, and natives who dressed in variegated tatters and made strange sounds when they spoke. But rain and a heavy atmosphere, a provincial and exclusively Austrian patronage at the hotel, and the lack of that restfully intimate association with the sea which can be gotten only by a soft, sandy beach, irritated him, and prevented him from feeling that he had found the place he was looking for. Something within was disturbing him, and drawing him he was not sure where. He studied sailing dates, he looked about him questioningly, and of a sudden, as a thing both astounding and self-evident, his goal was before him. If you wanted to reach over night the unique, the fabulously different, where did you go? But that was plain. What was he doing here? He had lost the trail. He had wanted to go there. He did not delay in giving notice of his mistake in stopping here. In the early morning mist, a week and a half after his arrival on the island, a fast motorboat was carrying him and his luggage back over the water to the naval port, and he landed there just long enough to cross the gangplank to the damp deck of a ship which was lying under steam ready for the voyage to Venice.
What he was searching for was something unfamiliar and distinct from himself that would also be easily accessible; so he paused at an island in the Adriatic that had become quite popular in recent years. It was not far from the Istrian coast, featuring beautifully rugged cliffs facing the open sea, and locals who wore colorful rags and spoke in strange tones. However, the rain and heavy atmosphere, the limited Austrian clientele at the hotel, and the absence of that soothing, personal connection with the sea which can only be found on a soft, sandy beach, frustrated him and made it difficult for him to feel that he had discovered the place he was seeking. Something inside him was unsettling, pulling him in an uncertain direction. He checked sailing schedules, looked around curiously, and suddenly, as if it were both surprising and obvious, his destination appeared before him. If you wanted to reach the extraordinary, the truly different, where would you go? But that was obvious. What was he doing here? He had lost his way. He had intended to go there. He did not hesitate to acknowledge his mistake in stopping here. In the early morning mist, a week and a half after his arrival on the island, a fast motorboat was taking him and his luggage back across the water to the naval port, where he landed just long enough to walk across the gangplank onto the damp deck of a ship that was prepared and steaming for the voyage to Venice.
It was an old hulk flying the Italian flag, decrepit, sooty, and mournful. In a cave-like, artificially lighted inside cabin where Aschenbach, immediately upon boarding the ship, was conducted by a dirty hunchbacked sailor who smirked politely, there was sitting behind a table, his hat cocked over his forehead and a cigarette stump in the corner of his mouth, a man with a goatee, and with the face of an old-style circus director, who was taking down the particulars of the passengers with professional grimaces and distributing the tickets. "To Venice!" he repeated Aschenbach's request, as he extended his arm and plunged his pen into the pasty dregs of a precariously tilted inkwell. "To Venice, first class! At your service, sir." And he wrote a generous scrawl, sprinkled it with blue sand out of a box, let the sand run off into a clay bowl, folded the paper with sallow, bony fingers, and began writing again. "A happily chosen destination!" he chatted on. "Ah, Venice! A splendid city! A city of irresistible attractiveness for the educated on account of its history as well as its present-day charms!" The smooth rapidity of his movements and the empty words accompanying them had something anaesthetic and reassuring about them, much as though he feared lest the traveller might still be vacillating in his decision to go to Venice. He handled the cash briskly, and let the change fall on the spotted table-cover with the skill of a croupier. "A pleasant journey, sir!" he said with a theatrical bow. "Gentlemen, I have the honour of serving you!" he called out immediately after, with his arm upraised, and he acted as if business were in full swing, although no one else was there to require his attention. Aschenbach returned to the deck.
It was an old ship flying the Italian flag, rundown, dirty, and sad-looking. Inside a cave-like cabin, artificially lit, Aschenbach was led by a scruffy hunchbacked sailor who smirked politely. Behind a table sat a man with a goatee and the face of an old-school circus director, his hat tilted over his forehead and a cigarette butt hanging from the corner of his mouth, taking down passenger details with exaggerated expressions and handing out tickets. "To Venice!" he echoed Aschenbach's request as he reached for a pen and dipped it into the thick sludge of a tilted inkwell. "To Venice, first class! At your service, sir." He scrawled generously, sprinkled blue sand from a box to dry the ink, let the sand fall into a clay bowl, folded the paper with bony fingers, and started writing again. "A well-chosen destination!" he continued. "Ah, Venice! A magnificent city! A place of irresistible charm for the educated due to its history and modern attractions!" The smooth, quick movements and his empty chatter had a calming effect, as if he was worried the traveler might hesitate about going to Venice. He handled the cash efficiently, letting the change drop on the speckled tablecloth like a skilled dealer. "Have a pleasant journey, sir!" he said with an exaggerated bow. "Gentlemen, I have the honor of serving you!" he called out next, raising his arm, acting as if the business was bustling, even though no one else was there to need his attention. Aschenbach returned to the deck.
With one arm on the railing, he watched the passengers on board and the idlers who loitered around the dock waiting for the ship to sail. The second class passengers, men and women, were huddled together on the foredeck, using boxes and bundles as seats. A group of young people made up the travellers on the first deck, clerks from Pola, it seemed, who had gathered in the greatest excitement for an excursion to Italy. They made a considerable fuss about themselves and their enterprise, chattered, laughed, enjoyed their own antics self-contentedly, and, leaning over the hand-rails, shouted flippantly and mockingly at their comrades who, with portfolios under their arms, were going up and down the waterfront on business and kept threatening the picnickers with their canes. One, in a bright yellow summer suit of ultra-fashionable cut, with a red necktie, and a rakishly tilted panama, surpassed all the others in his crowing good humour. But as soon as Aschenbach looked at him a bit more carefully, he discovered with a kind of horror that the youth was a cheat. He was old, that was unquestionable. There were wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. The faint crimson of the cheeks was paint, the hair under his brilliantly decorated straw hat was a wig; his neck was hollow and stringy, his turned-up moustache and the imperial on his chin were dyed; the full set of yellow teeth which he displayed when he laughed, a cheap artificial plate; and his hands, with signet rings on both index fingers, were those of an old man. Fascinated with loathing, Aschenbach watched him in his intercourse with his friends. Did they not know, did they not observe that he was old, that he was not entitled to wear their bright, foppish clothing, that he was not entitled to play at being one of them? Unquestioningly, and as quite the usual thing, it seemed, they allowed him among them, treating him as one of their own kind and returning his jovial nudges in the ribs without repugnance. How could that be? Aschenbach laid his hand on his forehead and closed his eyes; they were hot, since he had had too little sleep. He felt as though everything were not quite the same as usual, as though some dream-like estrangement, some peculiar distortion of the world, were beginning to take possession of him, and perhaps this could be stopped if he hid his face for a time and then looked around him again. Yet at this moment he felt as though he were swimming; and looking up with an unreasoned fear, he discovered that the heavy, lugubrious body of the ship was separating slowly from the walled bank. Inch by inch, with the driving and reversing of the engine, the strip of dirty glistening water widened between the dock and the side of the ship; and after cumbersome manoeuvring, the steamer finally turned its nose towards the open sea. Aschenbach crossed to the starboard side, where the hunchback had set up a deck-chair for him, and a steward in a spotted dress-coat asked after his wants.
With one arm resting on the railing, he watched the passengers on board and those hanging around the dock, waiting for the ship to depart. The second-class passengers, both men and women, were gathered on the foredeck, sitting on boxes and bundles. A group of young people occupied the first deck, likely clerks from Pola, who had gathered with great excitement for a trip to Italy. They made a big deal about themselves and their adventure, chatting, laughing, enjoying their own antics, and leaning over the handrails, playfully shouting at their friends who were walking along the waterfront with portfolios under their arms, teasing the picnickers with their canes. One guy, wearing a bright yellow summer suit that was all the rage, with a red tie and a tilted panama hat, stood out for his cheerful demeanor. But when Aschenbach looked at him more closely, he was horrified to realize the youth was a fraud. There was no doubt he was old. Wrinkles framed his eyes and mouth. The rosy cheeks were painted on, the hair beneath his stylish straw hat was a wig; his neck was thin and wrinkled, his mustache and goatee were dyed; the bright yellow teeth he flashed when he laughed were a cheap fake; and his hands, adorned with signet rings on both index fingers, were those of an elderly man. Captivated by disgust, Aschenbach observed him interacting with his friends. Didn’t they know? Didn’t they see that he was old, that he didn’t have the right to wear their bright, trendy clothes, that he wasn’t allowed to pretend to be one of them? Without question, and as if it were perfectly normal, they accepted him among them, treating him like one of their own, responding to his jovial nudges without any disgust. How could that be? Aschenbach placed his hand on his forehead and closed his eyes; they felt warm from lack of sleep. It seemed to him that everything felt slightly off, as if some dream-like detachment or peculiar distortion of reality was starting to envelop him, and perhaps he could stop it by hiding his face for a while and then looking around again. Yet at that moment, it felt as though he were adrift; and looking up with a sudden, unexplainable fear, he noticed the heavy, gloomy body of the ship slowly pulling away from the dock. Inch by inch, as the engine propelled and reversed, the strip of dirty, shimmering water expanded between the dock and the ship; and after some awkward maneuvering, the steamer finally pointed its bow toward the open sea. Aschenbach moved to the starboard side, where a hunchback had set up a deck chair for him, and a steward in a spotted tailcoat came by to ask what he needed.
The sky was grey, the wind damp. Harbour and islands had been left behind, and soon all land was lost in the haze. Flakes of coal dust, bloated with moisture, fell over the washed deck, which would not dry. After the first hour an awning was spread, since it had begun to rain.
The sky was gray, and the wind was humid. The harbor and islands were left behind, and soon all land was shrouded in mist. Patchy coal dust, heavy with moisture, settled over the wet deck, which wouldn’t dry. After the first hour, an awning was put up because it had started to rain.
Bundled up in his coat, a book in his lap, the traveller rested, and the hours passed unnoticed. It stopped raining; the canvas awning was removed. The horizon was unbroken. The sea, empty, like an enormous disk, lay stretched under the curve of the sky. But in empty inarticulate space our senses lose also the dimensions of time, and we slip into the incommensurate. As he rested, strange shadowy figures, the old dandy, the goatee from the inside cabin, passed through his mind, with vague gestures, muddled dream-words—and he was asleep.
Wrapped in his coat, a book in his lap, the traveler took a break, and hours passed without notice. The rain stopped, and the canvas awning was taken down. The landscape was uninterrupted. The sea, barren, like a massive disc, lay flat beneath the curve of the sky. However, in this vacant, undefined space, our senses also lose track of time, and we drift into the immeasurable. As he rested, indistinct shadowy figures—the old dandy, the guy with the goatee from the cabin—floated through his mind, accompanied by vague gestures and confused dream-like words—and he fell asleep.
About noon he was called to a meal down in the corridor-like dining-hall into which the doors opened from the sleeping-cabins; he ate near the head of a long table, at the other end of which the clerks including the old man had been drinking with the boisterous captain since ten o'clock. The food was poor, and he finished rapidly. He felt driven outside to look at the sky, to see if it showed signs of being brighter above Venice.
Around noon, he was summoned to a meal in the corridor-like dining hall, where the doors opened from the sleeping cabins. He sat near the head of a long table, at the other end of which the clerks, including the old man, had been drinking with the loud captain since ten o'clock. The food was terrible, and he ate quickly. He felt compelled to step outside to check the sky for any signs of brightness above Venice.
He had kept thinking that this had to occur, since the city had always received him in full blaze. But sky and sea remained dreary and leaden, at times a misty rain fell, and here he was reaching by water a different Venice than he had ever found when approaching on land. He stood by the forestays, looking in the distance, waiting for land. He thought of the heavy-hearted, enthusiastic poet for whom the domes and bell towers of his dreams had once risen out of these waters; he relived in silence some of that reverence, happiness, and sorrow which had been turned then into cautious song; and easily susceptible to sensations already moulded, he asked himself wearily and earnestly whether some new enchantment and distraction, some belated adventure of the emotions, might still be held in store for this idle traveller.
He kept thinking that this had to happen, since the city had always welcomed him warmly. But the sky and sea were dull and gray, and sometimes a light rain fell. Here he was, arriving by water in a different Venice than he had ever experienced when approaching by land. He stood by the forestays, looking into the distance, waiting for land. He thought of the heavy-hearted but passionate poet who once dreamed of the domes and bell towers rising from these waters; he silently relived some of that reverence, happiness, and sorrow that had once turned into cautious songs. Feeling sensitive to familiar emotions, he wearily and earnestly wondered if some new magic and distraction, some long-awaited emotional adventure, might still be in store for this wandering traveler.
Then the flat coast emerged on the right; the sea was alive with fishing smacks; the bathers' island appeared; it dropped behind to the left, the steamer slowly entered the narrow port which is named after it; and on the lagoon, facing gay ramshackle houses, it stopped completely, since it had to wait for the barque of the health department.
Then the flat coast came into view on the right; the sea was bustling with fishing boats; the island for swimmers showed up; it moved out of sight to the left as the steamer slowly made its way into the narrow port named after it; and in the lagoon, in front of colorful, rundown houses, it came to a full stop, waiting for the health department's barque.
An hour passed before it appeared. He had arrived, and yet he had not; no one was in any hurry, no one was driven by impatience. The young men from Pola, patriotically attracted by the military bugle calls which rang over the water from the vicinity of the public gardens, had come on deck, and warmed by their Asti, they burst out with cheers for the drilling bersagliere. But it was repulsive to see what a state the primped-up old man had been brought to by his comradeship with youth. His old head was not able to resist its wine like the young and robust: he was painfully drunk. With glazed eyes, a cigarette between his trembling fingers, he stood in one place, swaying backwards and forwards from giddiness, and balancing himself laboriously. Since he would have fallen at the first step, he did not trust himself from the spot—yet he showed a deplorable insolence, buttonholed everyone who came near him, stammered, winked, and tittered, lifted his wrinkled, ornamented index finger in a stupid attempt at bantering, while he licked the corers of his mouth with his tongue in the most abominably suggestive manner. Aschenbach observed him darkly, and a feeling of numbness came over him again, as though the world were displaying a faint but irresistible tendency to distort itself into the peculiar and the grotesque: a feeling which circumstances prevented him from surrendering himself to completely, for just then the pounding activity of the engines commenced again, and the ship, resuming a voyage which had been interrupted so near its completion, passed through the San Marco canal.
An hour went by before it showed up. He had arrived, yet he hadn’t; no one rushed, no one was impatient. The young guys from Pola, drawn by the military bugle calls echoing over the water from near the public gardens, came on deck, and warmed by their Asti, they started cheering for the drilling bersagliere. But it was unsettling to see how the old man, all dressed up, had been brought low by his association with youth. His old head couldn’t handle the wine like the young and strong: he was painfully drunk. With glazed eyes and a cigarette trembling between his fingers, he stood swaying back and forth from dizziness, struggling to keep his balance. Since he would have fallen with the first step, he didn’t trust himself to move from the spot—yet he displayed a sad kind of arrogance, grabbing anyone who got close, stammering, winking, and giggling, lifting his wrinkled, decorated index finger in a stupid attempt at joking, while he licked the corners of his mouth with his tongue in an incredibly suggestive way. Aschenbach watched him grimly, and a sense of numbness washed over him again, as if the world was showing a subtle but unstoppable tendency to twist into the odd and ridiculous: a feeling that circumstances kept him from fully giving in to, as just then the pounding of the engines started up again, and the ship, continuing a journey interrupted so close to its end, moved through the San Marco canal.
So he saw it again, the most remarkable of landing places, that blinding composition of fantastic buildings which the Republic lays out before the eyes of approaching seafarers: the soft splendour of the palace, the Bridge of Sighs, on the bank the columns with lion and saint, the advancing, showy flank of the enchanted temple, the glimpse through to the archway, and the huge giant clock. And as he looked on he thought that to reach Venice by land, on the rail-road, was like entering a palace from the rear, and that the most unreal of cities should not be approached except as he was now doing, by ship, over the high seas.
So he saw it again, the most amazing landing spot, that dazzling collection of incredible buildings that the Republic showcases to approaching sailors: the soft beauty of the palace, the Bridge of Sighs, the columns with lions and saints on the shore, the flashy side of the enchanted temple, the view through the archway, and the massive giant clock. And as he looked at it, he thought that arriving in Venice by land, on the train, was like entering a palace from the back, and that the most surreal of cities shouldn't be approached any other way than how he was doing it now, by ship, over the open sea.
The engine stopped, gondolas pressed in, the gangway was let down, customs officials climbed on board and discharged their duties perfunctorily; the disembarking could begin. Aschenbach made it understood that he wanted a gondola to take him and his luggage to the dock of those little steamers which ply between the city and the Lido, since he intended to locate near the sea. His plans were complied with, his wants were shouted down to the water, where the gondoliers were wrangling with one another in dialect. He was still hindered from descending; he was hindered by his trunk, which was being pulled and dragged with difficulty down the ladder-like steps. So that for some minutes he was not able to avoid the importunities of the atrocious old man, whose drunkenness gave him a sinister desire to do the foreigner parting honours. "We wish you a very agreeable visit," he bleated as he made an awkward bow. "We leave with pleasant recollections! Au revoir, excusez, and bon jour, your excellency!" His mouth watered, he pressed his eyes shut, he licked the corners of his mouth, and the dyed imperial turned up about his senile lips. "Our compliments," he mumbled, with two fingertips on his mouth, "our compliments to our sweetheart, the dearest prettiest sweetheart . . ." And suddenly his false upper teeth fell down on his lower lip. Aschenbach was able to escape. "To our sweetheart, our handsome sweetheart," he heard the cooing, hollow, stuttering voice behind him, while supporting himself against the handrail, he went down the gang-way.
The engine stopped, gondolas moved in, the gangway was dropped, customs officials came onboard and performed their duties mechanically; disembarking could begin. Aschenbach made it clear that he wanted a gondola to take him and his luggage to the dock of the little steamers that run between the city and the Lido, as he planned to stay near the sea. His requests were relayed to the water, where the gondoliers were arguing with each other in dialect. He was still delayed from getting off; his trunk was being pulled and dragged with difficulty down the ladder-like steps. For several minutes, he couldn't escape the annoying old man, whose drunkenness made him want to honor the foreigner. "We wish you a very nice visit," he slurred as he made a clumsy bow. "We leave with pleasant memories! Au revoir, excusez, and bon jour, your excellency!" His mouth watered, he pressed his eyes shut, he licked the corners of his mouth, and the dyed imperial mustache curled up around his wrinkled lips. "Our compliments," he mumbled, with two fingertips on his mouth, "our compliments to our sweetheart, the sweetest and prettiest sweetheart . . ." Suddenly, his false upper teeth fell onto his lower lip. Aschenbach managed to break free. "To our sweetheart, our beautiful sweetheart," he heard the cooing, hollow, stuttering voice behind him as he steadied himself against the handrail while going down the gangway.
Who would not have to suppress a fleeting shudder, a vague timidity and uneasiness, if it were a matter of boarding a Venetian gondola for the first time or after several years? The strange craft, an entirely unaltered survival from the times of balladry, with that peculiar blackness which is found elsewhere only in coffins—it suggests silent, criminal adventures in the rippling night, it suggests even more strongly death itself, the bier and the mournful funeral, and the last silent journey. And has it been observed that the seat of such a barque, this arm-chair of coffin-black veneer and dull black upholstery, is the softest, most luxuriant, most lulling seat in the world? Aschenbach noted this when he had relaxed at the feet of the gondolier, opposite his luggage, which lay neatly assembled on the prow. The rowers were still wrangling, harshly, incomprehensibly, with threatening gestures. But the strange silence of this canal city seemed to soften their voices, to disembody them, and dissipate them over the water. It was warm here in the harbour. Touched faintly by the warm breeze of the sirocco, leaning back against the limber portions of the cushions, the traveller closed his eyes in the enjoyment of a lassitude which was as unusual with him as it was sweet. The trip would be short, he thought; if only it went on for ever! He felt himself glide with a gentle motion away from the crowd and the confusion of voices.
Who wouldn't have to suppress a quick shiver and a vague sense of anxiety if it were their first time boarding a Venetian gondola or if it had been several years? The strange boat, an entirely unchanged remnant from the days of ballads, with its peculiar blackness found only in coffins, evokes silent, dark adventures in the shimmering night; it even more strongly suggests death itself, the casket and the mournful funeral, and the final quiet journey. And has anyone noticed that the seat of this craft, this armchair with coffin-black veneer and dull black upholstery, is the softest, most luxurious, most soothing seat in the world? Aschenbach realized this as he relaxed at the gondolier's feet, facing his neatly packed luggage at the front. The rowers were still arguing, harshly and incomprehensibly, with threatening gestures. But the strange silence of this canal city seemed to soften their voices, to make them seem otherworldly, dissipating over the water. It was warm here in the harbor. Gently touched by the warm breeze of the sirocco, leaning back against the flexible cushions, the traveler closed his eyes, enjoying a sense of relaxation that was as unusual for him as it was sweet. The trip would be short, he thought; if only it could go on forever! He felt himself gliding gently away from the crowd and the chaos of voices.
It became quieter and quieter around him! There was nothing to be heard but the splashing of the oar, the hollow slapping of the waves against the prow of the boat as it stood above the water black and bold and armed with its halberd-like tip, and a third sound, of speaking, of whispering—the whispering of the gondolier, who was talking to himself between his teeth, fitfully, in words that were pressed out by the exertion of his arms. Aschenbach looked up, and was slightly astonished to discover that the lagoon was widening, and he was headed for the open sea. This seemed to indicate that he ought not to rest too much, but should see to it that his wishes were carried out.
It got quieter and quieter around him! The only sounds were the splash of the oar, the soft slapping of the waves against the front of the boat as it sat boldly above the water, its sharp, spear-like tip ready, and a third sound—talking, whispering—the gondolier was muttering to himself between his teeth, intermittently, with words forced out by the effort of his arms. Aschenbach looked up and was a bit surprised to see that the lagoon was widening, and he was heading toward the open sea. This seemed to suggest that he shouldn’t relax too much, but instead make sure that his wishes were fulfilled.
"To the steamer dock!" he repeated, turning around completely and looking into the face of the gondolier who stood behind on a raised platform and towered up between him and the dun-coloured sky. He was a man of unpleasant, even brutal, appearance, dressed in sailor blue, with a yellow sash; a formless straw hat, its weave partially unravelled, was tilted insolently on his head. The set of his face, the blond curly moustache beneath a curtly turned-up nose, undoubtedly meant that he was not Italian. Although of somewhat frail build, so that one would not have thought him especially well suited to his trade, he handled the oar with great energy, throwing his entire body into each stroke. Occasionally, he drew back his lips from the exertion, and disclosed his white teeth. Wrinkling his reddish brows, he gazed on past his passenger, as he answered deliberately, almost gruffly: "You are going to the Lido." Aschenbach replied: "Of course. But I have just taken the gondola to get me across to San Marco. I want to use the vaporetto."
"To the steamer dock!" he repeated, turning around completely and looking into the face of the gondolier who stood behind on a raised platform, towering between him and the dull-colored sky. The man had an unpleasant, almost brutal appearance, dressed in navy blue with a yellow sash; a shapeless straw hat, partially unravelled, was tilted arrogantly on his head. The expression on his face and the blond curly mustache beneath his sharply turned-up nose clearly indicated he was not Italian. Despite his somewhat frail build, which didn’t seem ideal for his job, he wielded the oar with great energy, putting his whole body into each stroke. Occasionally, he would pull back his lips from the effort, revealing his white teeth. Wrinkling his reddish brows, he looked past his passenger and said deliberately, almost gruffly: "You’re going to the Lido." Aschenbach replied: "Of course. But I just took the gondola to get me across to San Marco. I want to use the vaporetto."
"You cannot use the vaporetto, sir."
"You can't use the vaporetto, sir."
"And why not?"
"And why not?"
"Because the vaporetto will not haul luggage."
"Because the vaporetto won't carry luggage."
That was so; Aschenbach remembered. He was silent. But the fellow's harsh, presumptuous manner, so unusual towards a foreigner here, seemed unbearable. He said: "That is my affair. Perhaps I want to put my things in storage. You will turn back." There was silence. The oar splashed, the water thudded against the bow. And the talking and whispering began again. The gondolier was talking to himself between his teeth.
That was true, Aschenbach recalled. He stayed quiet. But the guy's rude, arrogant attitude, so uncommon toward a foreigner here, felt unbearable. He said, "That's my business. Maybe I want to store my things. You should turn back." There was silence. The oar splashed, and the water thudded against the front of the boat. Then the chatter and whispering started up again. The gondolier muttered to himself under his breath.
What was to be done? This man was strangely insolent, and had an uncanny decisiveness; the traveller, alone with him on the water, saw no way of getting what he wanted. And besides, how softly he could rest, if only he did not become excited! Hadn't he wanted the trip to go on and on for ever? It was wisest to let things take their course, and the main thing was that he was comfortable. The poison of inertia seemed to be issuing from the seat, from this low, black-upholstered arm-chair, so gently cradled by the oar strokes of the imperious gondolier behind him. The notion that he had fallen into the hands of a criminal passed dreamily across Aschenbach's mind—without the ability to summon his thoughts to an active defence. The possibility that it was all simply a plan for cheating him seemed more abhorrent. A feeling of duty or pride, a kind of recollection that one should prevent such things, gave him the strength to arouse himself once more. He asked: "What are you asking for the trip?"
What was he going to do? This guy was oddly rude and had a strange confidence; the traveler, alone with him on the water, saw no way to get what he wanted. Plus, how peacefully he could relax if he didn’t let himself get worked up! Hadn't he wanted this trip to last forever? It was best to just go with the flow, and the main thing was that he felt comfortable. The lethargy seemed to be coming from the seat, from this low, black-upholstered armchair, gently rocked by the oars of the commanding gondolier behind him. The thought that he had fallen into the hands of a criminal drifted lazily through Aschenbach's mind—without any ability to rouse his thoughts to fight back. The chance that it was all just a scheme to cheat him felt even worse. A sense of duty or pride, a kind of awareness that he should stop such things, gave him the strength to awaken himself once more. He asked, “How much do you want for the trip?”
Looking down upon him, the gondolier answered: "You will pay."
Looking down at him, the gondolier replied, "You will pay."
It was plain how this should be answered. Aschenbach said mechanically: "I shall pay nothing, absolutely nothing, if you don't take me where I want to go."
It was obvious how this should be responded to. Aschenbach said flatly: "I won’t pay anything, not a cent, if you don't take me where I want to go."
"You want to go to the Lido."
"You want to go to the beach."
"But not with you."
"But not with you."
"I am rowing you well."
"I'm rowing you well."
That is so, Aschenbach thought, and relaxed. That is so; you are rowing me well. Even if you do have designs on my cash, and send me down to Pluto with a blow of your oar from behind, you will have rowed me well.
That’s true, Aschenbach thought, and he relaxed. That’s true; you’re steering me just fine. Even if you do have plans for my money and send me to the underworld with a hit of your oar from behind, you will have steered me well.
But nothing like that happened. They were even joined by others: a boatload of musical brigands, men and women, who sang to guitar and mandolin, riding persistently side by side with the gondola and filling the silence over the water with their covetous foreign poetry. A hat was held out, and Aschenbach threw in money. Then they stopped singing, and rowed away. And again the muttering of the gondolier could be heard as he talked fitfully and jerkily to himself.
But nothing like that happened. They were even joined by others: a boatload of musical robbers, men and women, who sang to guitar and mandolin, riding steadily alongside the gondola and filling the quiet over the water with their enticing foreign poetry. A hat was held out, and Aschenbach tossed in some money. Then they stopped singing and rowed away. Once more, the gondolier's mumbling could be heard as he spoke sporadically and jerkily to himself.
So they arrived, tossed in the wake of a steamer plying towards the city. Two municipal officers, their hands behind their backs, their faces turned in the direction of the lagoon, were walking back and forth on the bank. Aschenbach left the gondola at the dock, supported by that old man who is stationed with his grappling hook at each one of Venice's landing-places. And since he had no small money, he crossed over to the hotel by the steamer wharf to get change and pay the rower what was due him. He got what he wanted in the lobby, he returned and found his travelling bags in a cart on the dock, and gondola and gondolier had vanished.
So they arrived, swayed by the wake of a steamer heading towards the city. Two city officials, hands behind their backs and gazes fixed on the lagoon, were pacing along the bank. Aschenbach stepped off the gondola at the dock, assisted by the old man who stands with his grappling hook at each of Venice's landing spots. Since he didn't have any small change, he walked over to the hotel by the steamer wharf to get some cash and pay the rower what he owed. He got what he needed in the lobby, returned, and found his luggage in a cart on the dock, but the gondola and gondolier had disappeared.
"He got out in a hurry," said the old man with the grappling hook. "A bad man, a man without a license, sir. He is the only gondolier who doesn't have a license. The others telephoned here."
"He rushed out," said the old man with the grappling hook. "A bad guy, a guy without a license, sir. He's the only gondolier who doesn't have a license. The others called here."
Aschenbach shrugged his shoulders.
Aschenbach shrugged.
"The gentleman rode for nothing," the old man said, and held out his hat. Aschenbach tossed in a coin. He gave instructions to have his luggage taken to the beach hotel, and followed the cart through the avenue, the white-blossomed avenue which, lined on both sides with taverns, shops, and boarding houses, runs across the island to the shore.
"The man didn't charge anything," the old man said, holding out his hat. Aschenbach dropped in a coin. He instructed to have his luggage taken to the beach hotel and followed the cart down the avenue, the one with white blossoms, which is lined on both sides with taverns, shops, and boarding houses, stretching across the island to the shore.
He entered the spacious hotel from the rear, by the terraced garden, and passed through the vestibule and the lobby until he reached the desk. Since he had been announced, he was received with obliging promptness. A manager, a small frail flatteringly polite man with a black moustache and a French style frock coat, accompanied him to the third floor in the lift, and showed him his room, an agreeable place furnished in cherry wood. It was decorated with strong-smelling flowers, and its high windows afforded a view out across the open sea. He stepped up to one of them after the employee had left; and while his luggage was being brought up and placed in the room behind him, he looked down on the beach (it was comparatively deserted in the afternoon) and on the sunless ocean which was at flood tide and was sending long low waves against the bank in a calm regular rhythm.
He entered the spacious hotel from the back, by the terraced garden, and walked through the entrance and the lobby until he reached the front desk. Since he had been announced, he was greeted with courteous promptness. A manager, a small, delicate man with a black mustache and a French-style coat, took him to the third floor in the elevator and showed him his room, a pleasant space furnished in cherry wood. It was adorned with strongly scented flowers, and its tall windows offered a view of the open sea. After the staff member left, he walked over to one of the windows; while his luggage was being brought up and set down behind him, he looked down at the beach (which was relatively empty in the afternoon) and at the sunless ocean, which was at high tide, sending long, low waves gently crashing against the shore in a calm, regular rhythm.
The experiences of a man who lives alone and in silence are both vaguer and more penetrating than those of people in society; his thoughts are heavier, more odd, and touched always with melancholy. Images and observations which could easily be disposed of by a glance, a smile, an exchange of opinion, will occupy him unbearably, sink deep into the silence, become full of meaning, become life, adventure, emotion. Loneliness ripens the eccentric, the daringly and estrangingly beautiful, the poetic. But loneliness also ripens the perverse, the disproportionate, the absurd, and the illicit.—So, the things he had met with on the trip, the ugly old fop with his twaddle about sweethearts, the lawbreaking gondolier who was cheated of his pay, still left the traveller uneasy. Without really providing any resistance to the mind, without offering any solid stuff to think over, they were nevertheless profoundly strange, as it seemed to him, and disturbing precisely because of this contradiction. In the meanwhile, he greeted the sea with his eyes, and felt pleasure at the knowledge that Venice was so conveniently near. Finally he turned away, bathed his face, left orders to the chambermaid for a few things he still needed done to make his comfort complete, and let himself be taken to the ground floor by the green-uniformed Swiss who operated the lift.
The experiences of a man living alone and in silence are both more vague and more intense than those of people in society; his thoughts are heavier, weirder, and always tinged with sadness. Images and observations that could easily be brushed off with a glance, a smile, or a quick exchange will weigh on him unbearably, sink deep into the silence, and become rich with meaning, becoming life, adventure, and emotion. Loneliness nurtures the eccentric, the strikingly beautiful, and the poetic. But loneliness also cultivates the twisted, the disproportionate, the absurd, and the forbidden. So, the people he encountered on his trip—the ugly old fop with his chatter about sweethearts and the lawbreaking gondolier who got cheated out of his pay—still left the traveler feeling uneasy. Without really pushing back against his thoughts, without offering any solid material to ponder, they were nonetheless profoundly strange to him, and unsettling precisely because of this contradiction. Meanwhile, he gazed out at the sea and felt pleased that Venice was so close by. Eventually, he turned away, washed his face, left instructions for the chambermaid about a few things he still needed to feel completely comfortable, and allowed himself to be taken to the ground floor by the green-uniformed Swiss who operated the elevator.
He took his tea on the terrace facing the ocean, then descended and followed the boardwalk for quite a way in the direction of the Hotel Excelsior. When he returned it seemed time to dress for dinner. He did this with his usual care and slowness, since he was accustomed to working over his toilette. And yet he came down a little early to the lobby where he found a great many of the hotel guests assembled, mixing distantly and with a show of mutual indifference to one another, but all waiting for meal time. He took a paper from the table, dropped into a leather chair, and observed the company; they differed agreeably from the guests where he had first stopped.
He enjoyed his tea on the terrace overlooking the ocean, then went down and walked along the boardwalk for a while toward the Hotel Excelsior. When he got back, it felt like the right time to get ready for dinner. He did this with his usual care and slowness, as he was used to spending time on his grooming. Still, he came down a bit early to the lobby, where he found a lot of the hotel guests gathered, mingling somewhat and pretending to be indifferent to each other, but all waiting for dinner. He picked up a newspaper from the table, sank into a leather chair, and watched the crowd; they were refreshingly different from the guests at the first hotel he had stayed at.
A wide and tolerantly inclusive horizon was spread out before him. Sounds of all the principal languages formed a subdued murmur. The accepted evening dress, a uniform of good manners, brought all human varieties into a fitting unity. There were Americans with their long wry features, large Russian families, English ladies, German children with French nurses. The Slavic element seemed to predominate. Polish was being spoken nearby.
A broad and openly inclusive view lay before him. The sounds of all the major languages created a soft background hum. The formal evening attire, like a uniform of good etiquette, brought together all kinds of people in a harmonious way. There were Americans with their long, ironic faces, large Russian families, English women, and German children accompanied by French nannies. The Slavic presence appeared to be dominant. Polish was being spoken close by.
It was a group of children gathered around a little wicker table, under the protection of a teacher or governess: three young girls, apparently fifteen to seventeen, and a long-haired boy about fourteen years old. With astonishment Aschenbach noted that the boy was absolutely beautiful. His face, pale and reserved, framed with honey-coloured hair, the straight sloping nose, the lovely mouth, the expression of sweet and godlike seriousness, recalled Greek sculpture of the noblest period; and the complete purity of the forms was accompanied by such a rare personal charm that, as he watched, he felt that he had never met with anything equally felicitous in nature or the plastic arts. He was further struck by the obviously intentional contrast with the principles of upbringing which showed in the sisters' attire and bearing. The three girls, the eldest of whom could be considered grown up, were dressed with a chasteness and severity bordering on disfigurement. Uniformly cloister-like costumes, of medium length, slate-coloured, sober, and deliberately unbecoming in cut, with white turned-down collars as the only relief, suppressed every possible appeal of shapeliness. Their hair, brushed down flat and tight against the head, gave their faces a nunlike emptiness and lack of character. Surely this was a mother's influence, and it had not even occurred to her to apply the pedagogical strictness to the boy which she seemed to find necessary for her girls. It was clear that in his existence the first factors were gentleness and tenderness. The shears had been resolutely kept from his beautiful hair; like a Prince Charming's, it fell in curls over his forehead, his ears, and still deeper, across his neck. The English sailor suit, with its braids, stitchings, and embroideries, its puffy sleeves narrowing at the ends and fitting snugly about the fine wrists of his still childish but slender hands, gave the delicate figure something rich and luxurious. He was sitting, half profile to the observer, one foot in its black patent-leather shoe placed before the other, an elbow resting on the arm of his wicker chair, a cheek pressed against his fist, in a position of negligent good manners, entirely free of the almost subservient stiffness to which his sisters seemed accustomed. Did he have some illness? For his skin stood out as white as ivory against the golden darkness of the surrounding curls. Or was he simply a pampered favourite child, made this way by a doting and moody love? Aschenbach inclined to believe the latter. Almost every artist is born with a rich and treacherous tendency to recognize injustices which have created beauty, and to meet aristocratic distinction with sympathy and reverence.
A group of kids gathered around a small wicker table, supervised by a teacher or governess: three young girls, probably between fifteen and seventeen, and a long-haired boy about fourteen. Aschenbach was struck by how incredibly beautiful the boy was. His pale, reserved face framed by honey-colored hair, with a straight, sloping nose, a lovely mouth, and an expression of sweet, godlike seriousness, reminded him of the finest Greek sculptures. The pure forms were complemented by an exceptional personal charm that made him realize he had never encountered anything quite as remarkable in nature or the arts. He was also intrigued by the clear contrast between the boy and the strict upbringing evident in the girls' clothing and demeanor. The oldest girl, who could be seen as an adult, wore an outfit so modest and severe that it bordered on unattractive. They all had similar, nunnish costumes that were medium-length, slate-colored, serious, and purposely unflattering, with only white turned-down collars providing any visual relief, suppressing any appeal of their shapes. Their hair was brushed flat against their heads, giving their faces a hollow, lackluster appearance. It was obvious that a mother’s influence was at play, and she didn’t seem to feel the need to impose the same strictness on her son that she deemed necessary for her daughters. It was clear that kindness and affection were the main characteristics of his upbringing. He hadn’t been deprived of his beautiful hair; like a Prince Charming, it fell in curls over his forehead, ears, and down across his neck. His English sailor suit, adorned with braids, stitching, and embroidery, along with puffy sleeves that narrowed at the ends, fitted snugly around the delicate wrists of his still-childish but slender hands, adding a touch of richness and luxury to his slender figure. He sat in profile to the observer, one foot in its black patent leather shoe placed in front of the other, an elbow resting on the arm of his wicker chair, with a cheek against his fist, appearing casually polite, completely free from the almost subservient stiffness his sisters seemed to have. Did he have some illness? His skin stood out as white as ivory against the golden darkness of his curls. Or was he just a spoiled favorite child, shaped this way by a doting and temperamental love? Aschenbach leaned towards the latter. Almost every artist has a strong and deceptive tendency to recognize the injustices that create beauty and to respond with sympathy and respect to aristocratic distinction.
A waiter passed through and announced in English that the meal was ready. Gradually the guests disappeared through the glass door into the dining hall. Stragglers crossed, coming from the entrance, or the lifts. Inside, they had already begun serving, but the young Poles were still waiting around the little wicker table; and Aschenbach, comfortably propped in his deep chair, and with this beauty before his eyes, stayed with them.
A waiter walked by and announced in English that the meal was ready. Little by little, the guests went through the glass door into the dining hall. Some latecomers arrived from the entrance or the elevators. Inside, they had already started serving, but the young Poles were still hanging out around the small wicker table; and Aschenbach, comfortably settled in his deep chair, remained with them, admiring the beauty before him.
The governess, a small corpulent middle-class woman with a red face, finally gave the sign to rise. With lifted brows, she pushed back her chair and bowed, as a large woman dressed in grey and richly jewelled with pearls entered the lobby. This woman was advancing with coolness and precision; her lightly powdered hair and the lines of her dress were arranged with the simplicity which always signifies taste in those quarters where devoutness is taken as one element of dignity. She might have been the wife of some high German official. Except that her jewellery added something fantastically lavish to her appearance; indeed, it was almost priceless, and consisted of ear pendants and a very long triple chain of softly glowing pearls, as large as cherries.
The governess, a short, plump middle-class woman with a red face, finally signaled for everyone to get up. With raised eyebrows, she pushed back her chair and bowed as a large woman dressed in gray and heavily adorned with pearls entered the lobby. This woman moved with confidence and precision; her lightly powdered hair and the lines of her dress were styled with a simplicity that always indicates good taste in circles where piety is seen as a part of dignity. She could have been the wife of some high-ranking German official, except her jewelry added an extravagantly lavish touch to her look; in fact, it was nearly priceless, consisting of dangling earrings and a very long triple strand of softly glowing pearls the size of cherries.
The children had risen promptly. They bent over to kiss the hand of their mother who, with a distant smile on her well preserved though somewhat tired and peaked features, looked over their heads and directed a few words to the governess in French. Then she walked to the glass door. The children followed her: the girls in the order of their age, after them the governess, the boy last. For some reason or other he turned around before crossing the sill, and since no one else was in the lobby his strange dusky eyes met those of Aschenbach who, his newspaper on his knees, lost in thought, was gazing after the group.
The children got up promptly. They leaned down to kiss their mother’s hand, who, with a distant smile on her well-preserved yet somewhat tired and pale features, looked over their heads and directed a few words to the governess in French. Then she walked to the glass door. The children followed her: the girls in order of their age, after them the governess, and the boy last. For some reason, he turned around before crossing the threshold, and since no one else was in the lobby, his strange dark eyes met Aschenbach’s, who, with his newspaper on his knees, was lost in thought, gazing after the group.
What he saw had not been unusual in the slightest detail. They had not preceded the mother to the table; they had waited, greeted her with respect, and observed the customary forms on entering the room. But it had taken place so pointedly, with such an accent of training, duty, and self-respect, that Aschenbach felt peculiarly touched by it all. He delayed for a few moments, then he too crossed into the dining-room, and was assigned to his table, which, as he noted with a brief touch of regret, was very far removed from that of the Polish family.
What he saw was completely normal in every detail. They didn’t rush to the table before the mother; instead, they waited, greeted her with respect, and followed the usual etiquette when entering the room. But it all felt so intentional, with a strong sense of training, duty, and self-respect, that Aschenbach found himself strangely moved by it. He hesitated for a moment, then made his way into the dining room and was directed to his table, which, as he noted with a slight sense of regret, was quite far from that of the Polish family.
Weary, and yet intellectually active, he entertained himself during the lengthy meal with abstract, or even transcendental things; he thought over the secret union which the lawful must enter upon with the individual for human beauty to result, from this he passed into general problems of form and art, and at the end he found that his thoughts and discoveries were like the seemingly felicitous promptings of a dream which, when the mind is sobered, are seen to be completely empty and unfit. After the meal, smoking, sitting, taking an occasional turn in the park with its smell of nightfall, he went to bed early and spent the night in a sleep deep and unbroken, but often enlivened with the apparitions of dreams.
Exhausted yet mentally engaged, he occupied himself during the long meal with abstract or even transcendent ideas; he contemplated the hidden connection that the lawful must form with the individual for true human beauty to emerge. From there, he moved on to broader issues of form and art, and by the end, he realized that his thoughts and insights were like the seemingly brilliant ideas sparked by a dream, which, when the mind clears, turn out to be completely hollow and unworthy. After the meal, he smoked, relaxed, and took the occasional stroll in the park, filled with the scents of dusk. He went to bed early and experienced a deep, uninterrupted sleep, frequently brightened by vivid dreams.
III (continued)
The weather did not improve any the following day. A land breeze was blowing. Under a cloudy ashen sky, the sea lay in dull peacefulness; it seemed shrivelled up, with a close dreary horizon, and it had retreated from the beach, baring the long ribs of several sandbanks. As Aschenbach opened his window he thought that he could detect the foul smell of the lagoon.
The weather didn’t get any better the next day. A land breeze was blowing. Under a cloudy, gray sky, the sea was calm and dull; it looked drained, with a close, dreary horizon, and it had pulled away from the beach, exposing the long ribs of a few sandbanks. When Aschenbach opened his window, he thought he could smell the unpleasant odor of the lagoon.
He felt depressed. He thought already of leaving. Once, years ago, after several weeks of spring here, this same weather had afflicted him, and impaired his health so seriously that he had to abandon Venice like a fugitive. Was not this old feverish unrest again setting in, the pressure in the temples, the heaviness of the eyelids? It would be annoying to change his residence still another time; but if the wind did not turn, he could not stay here. To be safe, he did not unpack completely. He breakfasted at nine in the buffet-room provided for this purpose between the lobby and the dining-room.
He felt down. He was already thinking about leaving. A few years back, after several weeks of spring weather here, the same kind of weather had made him feel unwell, forcing him to flee Venice like a runaway. Was that old anxious feeling coming back, the pressure in his temples, the heaviness in his eyelids? It would be frustrating to move again; but if the weather didn’t change, he couldn’t stay here. To be cautious, he didn’t unpack completely. He had breakfast at nine in the buffet room set up for that purpose between the lobby and the dining room.
That formal silence reigned here which is the ambition of large hotels. The waiters who were serving walked about on soft soles. Nothing was audible but the tinkling of the tea-things, a word half-whispered. In one corner, obliquely across from the door, and two tables removed from his own, Aschenbach observed the Polish girls with their governess. Erect and red-eyed, their ash-blond hair freshly smoothed down, dressed in stiff blue linen with little white cuffs and turned-down collars—they were sitting there, handing around a glass of marmalade. They had almost finished their breakfast. The boy was missing.
A formal silence filled the air, the kind that large hotels aim for. The waiters moved quietly on soft-soled shoes. The only sounds were the tinkling of the tea items and a few half-whispered words. In one corner, diagonally across from the entrance and two tables away from his own, Aschenbach noticed the Polish girls with their governess. Sitting up straight with red eyes, their ash-blond hair freshly styled, dressed in stiff blue linen with small white cuffs and turned-down collars—they were sitting there, passing around a glass of marmalade. They had almost finished their breakfast. The boy was absent.
Aschenbach smiled. "Well, little Phaeacian!" he thought. "You seem to be enjoying the pleasant privilege of having your sleep out." And suddenly exhilarated, he recited to himself the line: "A frequent change of dress; warm baths, and rest."
Aschenbach smiled. "Well, little Phaeacian!" he thought. "You seem to be enjoying the nice perk of getting all your sleep." And suddenly feeling cheerful, he recited to himself the line: "A frequent change of clothes; warm baths, and rest."
He breakfasted without haste. From the porter, who entered the hall holding his braided cap in his hand, he received some forwarded mail; and while he smoked a cigarette he opened a few letters. In this way it happened that he was present at the entrance of the late sleeper who was being waited for over yonder.
He had breakfast at a relaxed pace. From the doorman, who came into the room holding his cap, he got some mail that had been forwarded to him; and while he smoked a cigarette, he opened a few letters. This is how he ended up seeing the late sleeper who was being waited for over there.
He came through the glass door and crossed the room in silence to his sisters' table. His approach—the way he held the upper part of his body, and bent his knees, the movement of his white-shod feet—had an extraordinary charm; he walked very lightly, at once timid and proud, and this became still more lovely through the childish embarrassment with which, twice as he proceeded, he turned his face towards the centre of the room, raising and lowering his eyes. Smiling, with something half-muttered in his soft vague tongue, he took his place; and now, as he turned his full profile to the observer, Aschenbach was again astonished, terrified even, by the really godlike beauty of this human child. To-day the boy was wearing a light blouse of blue and white striped cotton goods, with a red silk tie in front, and closed at the neck by a plain white high collar. This collar lacked the distinctiveness of the blouse, but above it the flowering head was poised with an incomparable seductiveness—the head of an Eros, in blended yellows of Parian marble, with fine serious brows, the temples and ears covered softly by the abrupt encroachment of his curls.
He walked through the glass door and silently crossed the room to join his sisters at the table. His presence—the way he carried himself, bent his knees, and moved his white-shod feet—had an incredible charm; he walked lightly, both shy and proud, and this became even more beautiful with the childish embarrassment that made him glance towards the center of the room, raising and lowering his eyes. Smiling, with something half-mumbled in his soft, unclear voice, he took his place; and now, as he turned his profile to the observer, Aschenbach was once again amazed, even terrified, by the truly godlike beauty of this young boy. Today, he was wearing a light blue and white striped blouse made of cotton, with a red silk tie in front, and a plain white high collar at the neck. This collar lacked the distinctiveness of the blouse, but above it, his flowering head rested with an incomparable allure—the head of an Eros, in blended yellows resembling Parian marble, with fine serious brows, and his temples and ears softly framed by the sudden fall of his curls.
"Good, good!" Aschenbach thought, with that deliberate expert appraisal which artists sometimes employ as a subterfuge when they have been carried away with delight before a masterwork. And he thought further: "Really, if the sea and the beach weren't waiting for me, I should stay here as long as you stayed!" But he went then, passed through the lobby under the inspection of the servants, down the wide terrace, and straight across the boardwalk to the section of the beach reserved for the hotel guests. The barefoot old man in dungarees and straw hat who was functioning here as bathing master assigned him to the bath house he had rented; a table and a seat were placed on the sandy board platform, and he made himself comfortable in the lounge chair which he had drawn closer to the sea, out into the waxen yellow sand.
"Good, good!" Aschenbach thought, with that careful expert evaluation that artists sometimes use as a disguise when they’ve been swept away with joy over a masterpiece. And he thought further, "Honestly, if the sea and the beach weren’t waiting for me, I would stay here as long as you stayed!" But then he left, walked through the lobby under the watchful eyes of the staff, down the broad terrace, and straight across the boardwalk to the section of the beach reserved for hotel guests. The old man in overalls and a straw hat, who was acting as the bathing master, assigned him to the bathhouse he had rented; a table and a chair were set up on the sandy board platform, and he settled into the lounge chair he had moved closer to the sea, out into the smooth yellow sand.
More than ever before he was entertained and amused by the sights on the beach, this spectacle of carefree, civilized people getting sensuous enjoyment at the very edge of the elements. The grey flat sea was already alive with wading children, swimmers, a motley of figures lying on the sandbanks with arms bent behind their heads. Others were rowing about in little red and blue striped boats without keels; they were continually upsetting, amid laughter. Before the long stretches of bathing houses, where people were sitting on the platforms as though on small verandahs, there was a play of movement against the line of rest and inertness behind—visits and chatter, fastidious morning elegance alongside the nakedness which, boldly at ease, was enjoying the freedom which the place afforded. Further in front, on the damp firm sand, people were parading about in white bathing cloaks, in ample, brilliantly coloured wrappers. An elaborate sand pile to the right, erected by children, had flags in the colours of all nations planted around it. Venders of shells, cakes, and fruit spread out their wares, kneeling. To the left, before one of the bathing houses which stood at right angles to the others and to the sea, a Russian family was encamped: men with beards and large teeth, slow delicate women, a Baltic girl sitting by an easel and painting the sea amidst exclamations of despair, two ugly good-natured children, an old maid-servant who wore a kerchief on her head and had the alert scraping manners of a slave. Delighted and appreciative, they were living there, patiently calling the names of the two rowdy disobedient children, using their scanty Italian to joke with the humorous old man from whom they were buying candy, kissing one another on the cheek, and not in the least concerned with any one who might be observing their community.
More than ever, he was entertained and amused by the sights on the beach, this scene of carefree, civilized people enjoying themselves right at the edge of the elements. The gray, flat sea was already buzzing with wading children, swimmers, and a mix of figures lying on the sand with their arms behind their heads. Others were rowing around in little red and blue striped boats without keels; they kept capsizing, bursting into laughter. In front of the long stretches of bathing houses, where people lounged on the platforms like they were on small verandas, there was a lively contrast against the calmness behind—visits and chatter, stylish morning outfits next to those comfortably naked, enjoying the freedom that the beach offered. Further out on the damp, firm sand, people paraded in white bathing cloaks and colorful wraps. An impressive sandcastle to the right, built by children, had flags in the colors of all nations planted around it. Vendors of shells, cakes, and fruit displayed their goods while kneeling. To the left, in front of one bathing house that stood perpendicular to the others and the sea, a Russian family was settled: men with beards and large teeth, slow-moving delicate women, a Baltic girl at an easel painting the sea with shouts of despair, two unattractive yet cheerful children, and an old maidservant wearing a headscarf who had the lively, attentive manner of a servant. Happy and engaged, they were living there, patiently calling out the names of the two unruly, disobedient children, using their limited Italian to joke with the funny old man from whom they were buying candy, kissing each other on the cheek, and completely unconcerned with anyone who might be watching their little world.
"Yes, I shall stay," Aschenbach thought. "Where would things be better?" And his hands folded in his lap, he let his eyes lose themselves in the expanses of the sea, his gaze gliding, swimming, and failing in the monotone mist of the wilderness of space. He loved the ocean for deep-seated reasons: because of that yearning for rest, when the hard-pressed artist hungers to shut out the exacting multiplicities of experience and hide himself on the breast of the simple, the vast; and because of a forbidden hankering—seductive, by virtue of its being directly opposed to his obligations—after the incommunicable, the incommensurate, the eternal, the non-existent. To be at rest in the face of perfection is the hunger of everyone who is aiming at excellence; and what is the non-existent but a form of perfection? But now, just as his dreams were so far out in vacancy, suddenly the horizontal fringe of the sea was broken by a human figure; and as he brought his eyes back from the unbounded, and focussed them, it was the lovely boy who was there, coming from the left and passing him on the sand. He was barefooted, ready for wading, his slender legs exposed above the knees; he walked slowly, but as lightly and proudly as though it were the customary thing for him to move about without shoes; and he was looking around him towards the line of bathing houses opposite. But as soon as he had noticed the Russian family, occupied with their own harmony and contentment, a cloud of scorn and detestation passed over his face. His brow darkened, his mouth was compressed, he gave his lips an embittered twist to one side so that the cheek was distorted, and the forehead became so heavily furrowed that the eyes seemed sunken beneath its pressure: malicious and glowering, they spoke the language of hate. He looked down, looked back once more threateningly, then with his shoulder made an abrupt gesture of disdain and dismissal, and left the enemy behind him.
"Yes, I’ll stay," Aschenbach thought. "Where would it be better?" With his hands folded in his lap, he let his gaze drift into the vastness of the sea, his eyes gliding, swimming, and getting lost in the endless gray mist of the open space. He loved the ocean for deep reasons: because of the yearning for peace, when the struggling artist longs to shut out the demanding complexities of experience and hide himself in the embrace of the simple and the vast; and because of a forbidden desire—enticing because it goes directly against his responsibilities—toward the incommunicable, the immeasurable, the eternal, the non-existent. To find peace in the presence of perfection is the desire of anyone striving for excellence; and what is the non-existent but a kind of perfection? But now, just as his thoughts were drifting into emptiness, suddenly the horizon of the sea was broken by a human figure; as he redirected his gaze from the infinite and focused, he saw the beautiful boy coming from the left, passing by him on the sand. The boy was barefoot, ready to wade, his slender legs exposed above the knees; he walked slowly, but with the lightness and pride as if it were perfectly normal to move around without shoes; he was looking around toward the line of bathing houses across from him. But as soon as he noticed the Russian family, absorbed in their own happiness, a look of scorn and disgust crossed his face. His brow furrowed, his mouth tightened, he twisted his lips in a bitter grimace to one side, distorting his cheek, and his forehead was so deeply lined that his eyes appeared sunken under its weight: malicious and glowering, they expressed a language of hatred. He looked down, turned back once with a threatening glare, then with a flick of his shoulder made a sudden gesture of disdain and dismissal, leaving the enemy behind him.
A kind of pudency or confusion, something like respect and shyness, caused Aschenbach to turn away as though he had seen nothing. For the earnest-minded who have been casual observers of some passion, struggle against making use, even to themselves, of what they have seen. But he was both cheered and unstrung—which is to say, he was happy. This childish fanaticism, directed against the most good-natured possible aspect of life—it brought the divinely arbitrary into human relationships; it made a delightful natural picture which had appealed only to the eye now seem worthy of a deeper sympathy; and it gave the figure of this half-grown boy, who had already been important enough by his sheer beauty, something to offset him still further, and to make one take him more seriously than his years justified. Still looking away, Aschenbach could hear the boy's voice, the shrill, somewhat weak voice with which, in the distance now, he was trying to call hello to his playfellows busied around the sand pile. They answered him, shouting back his name, or some affectionate nickname; and Aschenbach listened with a certain curiosity, without being able to catch anything more definite than two melodic syllables like "Adgio," or still more frequently "Adgiu," with a ringing u-sound prolonged at the end. He was pleased with the resonance of this; he found it adequate to the subject. He repeated it silently and, satisfied, turned to his letters and manuscripts.
A sense of modesty or confusion, something like respect and shyness, made Aschenbach look away as if he hadn’t seen anything at all. For those who are serious-minded and have casually observed some intense emotion, there’s often a struggle to even acknowledge what they’ve witnessed, even to themselves. But he felt both uplifted and unsettled—which means he was happy. This childish passion, aimed at the kindest side of life, introduced the whimsically random into human connections; it transformed what was merely a delightful sight into something deserving of deeper empathy. It added a layer to this young boy, who was already significant enough because of his beauty, making him seem more substantial than his age would suggest. Still looking away, Aschenbach heard the boy's voice, a high, somewhat weak tone as he tried to call out to his friends playing around the sand pile. They called back his name or a cute nickname, and Aschenbach listened with curiosity, unable to catch anything clearer than two melodic syllables like "Adgio," or more often "Adgiu," with a prolonged ringing 'u' at the end. He enjoyed the sound of it; it felt fitting for the moment. He silently repeated it and, satisfied, turned back to his letters and manuscripts.
His small portable writing-desk on his knees he began writing with his fountain pen an answer to this or that bit of correspondence. But after the first fifteen minutes he found it a pity to abandon the situation—the most enjoyable he could think of—in this manner and waste it in activities which did not interest him. He tossed the writing materials to one side, and he faced the ocean again; soon afterwards, diverted by the childish voices around the sand heap, he revolved his head comfortably along the back of the chair towards the right, to discover where that excellent little Adgio might be and what he was doing.
With his small portable writing desk on his knees, he started writing a reply to some letters with his fountain pen. But after the first fifteen minutes, he realized it was a shame to waste such an enjoyable situation on things that didn’t interest him. He pushed the writing materials aside and turned back to face the ocean. Soon after, distracted by the playful voices around the sand pile, he comfortably turned his head to the right to see where that delightful little Adgio was and what he was up to.
He was found at a glance; the red tie on his breast was not to be overlooked. Busied with the others in laying an old plank across the damp moat of the sand castle, he was nodding, and shouting instructions for this work. There were about ten companions with him, boys and girls of his age, and a few younger ones who were chattering with one another in Polish, French, and in several Balkan tongues. But it was his name which rang out most often. He was openly in demand, sought after, admired. One boy especially, like him a Pole, a stocky fellow who was called something like "Jaschu," with sleek black hair and a belted linen coat, seemed to be his closest vassal and friend. When the work on the sand structure was finished for the time being, they walked aim in arm along the beach, and the boy who was called "Jaschu" kissed the beauty.
He was noticeable right away; the red tie on his chest stood out. He was busy with the others laying a old plank across the damp moat of the sand castle, nodding and shouting instructions about the task. There were about ten friends with him, boys and girls around his age, along with a few younger ones who were chatting away in Polish, French, and several Balkan languages. But it was his name that was called out the most. He was clearly in demand, sought after, and admired. One boy in particular, also a Pole, a stocky kid named something like "Jaschu," with sleek black hair and a belted linen coat, seemed to be his closest buddy and follower. Once they wrapped up the work on the sand structure for now, they strolled along the beach arm in arm, and the boy named "Jaschu" kissed the girl.
Aschenbach was half minded to raise a warning finger. "I advise you, Cristobulus," he thought, smiling, "to travel for a year! For you need that much time at least to get over it." And then he breakfasted on large ripe strawberries which he got from a peddler. It had become very warm, although the sun could no longer penetrate the blanket of mist in the sky. Laziness clogged his brain, even while his senses delighted in the numbing, drugging distractions of the ocean's stillness. To guess, to puzzle out just what name it was that sounded something like "Adgio," seemed to the sober man an appropriate ambition, a thoroughly comprehensive pursuit. And with the aid of a few scrappy recollections of Polish he decided that they must mean Tadzio, the shortened form of Tadeusz, and sounding like Tadziu when it is called.
Aschenbach was half inclined to raise a warning finger. "I recommend, Cristobulus," he thought with a smile, "that you take a year to travel! You need at least that much time to get over it." Then he enjoyed a breakfast of large, ripe strawberries he bought from a vendor. It had gotten quite warm, although the sun could no longer break through the blanket of mist in the sky. Laziness weighed down his mind, even as his senses reveled in the soothing, intoxicating distractions of the calm ocean. Figuring out what name sounded somewhat like "Adgio" seemed to the sensible man to be a fitting ambition, a completely engaging pursuit. With a few vague memories of Polish, he concluded that it must mean Tadzio, the shortened form of Tadeusz, which sounds like Tadziu when it's pronounced.
Tadzio was bathing. Aschenbach, who had lost sight of him, spied his head and the arm with which he was propelling himself, far out in the water; for the sea must have been smooth for a long distance out. But already people seemed worried about him; women's voices were calling after him from the bathing houses, uttering this name again and again. It almost dominated the beach like a battle-cry, and with its soft consonants, its long drawn u-note at the end, it had something at once sweet and wild about it: "Tadziu! Tadziu!" He turned back; beating the resistent water into a foam with his legs he hurried, his head bent down over the waves. And to see how this living figure, graceful and clean-cut in its advance, with dripping curls, and lovely as some frail god, came up out of the depths of sky and sea, rose and separated from the elements—this spectacle aroused a sense of myth, it was like some poet's recovery of time at its beginning, of the origin of forms and the birth of gods. Aschenbach listened with closed eyes to this song ringing within him, and he thought again that it was pleasant here, and that he would like to remain.
Tadzio was swimming. Aschenbach, who had lost sight of him, spotted his head and the arm he was using to propel himself, far out in the water; the sea must have been calm for quite a distance. But already, people seemed anxious about him; women's voices were calling out his name from the changing rooms, repeating it over and over. It nearly echoed across the beach like a battle cry, and with its soft consonants and the long drawn-out “u” at the end, it had a quality that was both sweet and wild: “Tadzio! Tadzio!” He turned back; splashing through the resistant water with his legs, he rushed forward, his head leaning down over the waves. And to see this living figure, graceful and sharply defined in its movement, with wet curls, looking like some delicate god, emerging from the depths of sky and sea, rising and separating from the elements—this sight sparked a sense of the mythical, like a poet's return to the beginning of time, to the origin of shapes and the birth of gods. Aschenbach listened with his eyes closed to this song resonating within him, and he thought once more that it was nice here, and that he wanted to stay.
Later Tadzio was resting from his bath; he lay in the sand, wrapped in his white robe, which was drawn under the right shoulder, his head supported on his bare arm. And even when Aschenbach was not observing him, but was reading a few pages in his book, he hardly ever forgot that this boy was lying there and that it would cost him only a slight turn of his head to the right to behold the mystery. It seemed that he was sitting here just to keep watch over his repose—busied with his own concerns, and yet constantly aware of this noble picture at his right, not far in the distance. And he was stirred by a paternal affection, the profound leaning which those who have devoted their thoughts to the creation of beauty feel towards those who possess beauty itself.
Later, Tadzio was resting after his bath; he lay in the sand, wrapped in his white robe, which was pulled under his right shoulder, his head propped up on his bare arm. Even when Aschenbach wasn’t watching him, but was reading a few pages of his book, he rarely forgot that this boy was lying there and that it would take just a slight turn of his head to the right to witness the beauty. It felt like he was sitting there just to keep watch over Tadzio’s rest—occupied with his own thoughts, yet always aware of this beautiful scene to his right, not far away. He felt a deep, paternal affection, that profound connection those who’ve dedicated themselves to creating beauty feel for those who embody beauty itself.
A little past noon he left the beach, returned to the hotel, and was taken up to his room. He stayed there for some time in front of the mirror, looking at his grey hair, his tired sharp features. At this moment he thought of his reputation, and of the fact that he was often recognized on the streets and observed with respect, thanks to the sure aim and the appealing finish of his words. He called up all the exterior successes of his talent which he could think of, remembering also his elevation to the knighthood. Then he went down to the dining-hall for lunch, and ate at his little table. As he was riding up in the lift, after the meal was ended, a group of young people just coming from breakfast pressed into the swaying cage after him, and Tadzio entered too. He stood quite near to Aschenbach, for the first time so near that Aschenbach could see him, not with the aloofness of a picture, but in minute detail, in all his human particularities. The boy was addressed by someone or other, and as he was answering with an indescribably agreeable smile he stepped out again, on the second floor, walking backwards, and with his eyes lowered. "Beauty makes modest," Aschenbach thought, and he tried insistently to explain why this was so. But he had noticed that Tadzio's teeth were not all they should be; they were somewhat jagged and pale. The enamel did not look healthy; it had a peculiar brittleness and transparency, as is often the case with anaemics. "He is very frail, he is sickly," Aschenbach thought. "In all probability he will not grow old." And he refused to reckon with the feeling of gratification or reassurance which accompanied this notion.
A little after noon, he left the beach, went back to the hotel, and was taken up to his room. He spent some time in front of the mirror, examining his gray hair and his tired, sharp features. At that moment, he thought about his reputation and how he was often recognized on the streets and looked at with respect, thanks to the precision and appealing finish of his words. He recalled all the external successes of his talent that he could think of, including his elevation to knighthood. Then, he went down to the dining hall for lunch and sat at his little table. As he rode up in the elevator after finishing his meal, a group of young people who had just come from breakfast crowded into the swaying lift after him, and Tadzio entered, too. He stood quite close to Aschenbach, for the first time near enough that Aschenbach could see him not as a distant image, but in every little detail. Someone addressed the boy, and as he responded with an indescribably pleasant smile, he stepped out again on the second floor, walking backward and looking down. "Beauty makes one modest," Aschenbach thought, trying to understand why that was the case. But he noticed that Tadzio's teeth weren’t perfect; they were a bit jagged and pale. The enamel didn’t look healthy; it had a strange brittleness and transparency, common in people with anemia. "He is very frail, he's sickly," Aschenbach thought. "He probably won't grow old." And he pushed aside the feeling of gratification or reassurance that came with that idea.
He spent two hours in his room, and in the afternoon he rode in the vaporetto across the foul-smelling lagoon to Venice. He got off at San Marco, took tea on the Piazza, and then, in accord with his schedule for the day, he went for a walk through the streets. Yet it was this walk which produced a complete reversal in his attitudes and his plans.
He spent two hours in his room, and in the afternoon he took the vaporetto across the smelly lagoon to Venice. He got off at San Marco, had tea in the Piazza, and then, according to his schedule for the day, went for a walk through the streets. However, it was this walk that completely changed his attitudes and plans.
An offensive sultriness lay over the streets. The air was so heavy that the smells pouring out of homes, stores, and eating houses became mixed with oil, vapours, clouds of perfume, and still other odours—and these would not blow away, but hung in layers. Cigarette smoke remained suspended, disappearing very slowly. The crush of people along the narrow streets irritated rather than entertained the walker. The farther he went, the more he was depressed by the repulsive condition resulting from the combination of sea air and sirocco, which was at the same time both stimulating and enervating. He broke into an uncomfortable sweat. His eyes failed him, his chest became tight, he had a fever, the blood was pounding in his head. He fled from the crowded business streets across a bridge into the walks of the poor. On a quiet square, one of those forgotten and enchanting places which lie in the interior of Venice, he rested at the brink of a well, dried his forehead, and realized that he would have to leave here.
An oppressive sultriness hung over the streets. The air was so thick that the odors wafting out of homes, shops, and eateries blended with oil, vapors, clouds of perfume, and other smells—and these didn’t dissipate but lingered in layers. Cigarette smoke hung in the air, fading very slowly. The crowd of people in the narrow streets annoyed rather than entertained the passerby. The further he walked, the more he felt weighed down by the unpleasant mix of sea air and sirocco, which was simultaneously invigorating and exhausting. He broke into an uncomfortable sweat. His vision blurred, his chest tightened, he felt feverish, and his blood pounded in his head. He hurried away from the busy commercial streets, crossing a bridge into the poorer areas. In a quiet square, one of those forgotten, charming spots tucked away in Venice, he rested by a well, wiped his forehead dry, and realized he would have to leave this place.
For the second and last time it had been demonstrated that this city in this kind of weather was decidedly unhealthy for him. It seemed foolish to attempt a stubborn resistance, while the prospects for a change of wind were completely uncertain. A quick decision was called for. It was not possible to go home this soon. Neither summer nor winter quarters were prepared to receive him. But this was not the only place where there were sea and beach; and elsewhere these could be found without the lagoon and its malarial mists. He remembered a little watering place not far from Trieste which had been praised to him. Why not there? And without delay, so that this new change of location would still have time to do him some good. He pronounced this as good as settled, and stood up. At the next gondola station he took a boat back to San Marco, and was led through the dreary labyrinth of canals, under fancy marble balconies flanked with lions, around the corners of smooth walls, past the sorrowing façades of palaces which mirrored large dilapidated business-signs in the pulsing water. He had trouble arriving there, for the gondolier, who was in league with lace-makers and glass-blowers, was always trying to land him for inspections and purchases; and just as the bizarre trip through Venice would begin to cast its spell, the greedy business sense of the sunken Queen did all it could to destroy the illusion.
For the second and final time, it had been proven that this city in this kind of weather was clearly unhealthy for him. It seemed pointless to stubbornly resist, especially with the chances of a change in the weather completely uncertain. A quick decision was necessary. It was too soon to go home. Neither summer nor winter accommodations were ready for him. But this wasn’t the only place with sea and beach; he could find those somewhere else without the lagoon and its malaria-inducing mists. He recalled a small resort not far from Trieste that had come highly recommended to him. Why not go there? And without delay, so that this change of location would still have time to benefit him. He declared that it was settled and stood up. At the next gondola stop, he took a boat back to San Marco, navigating through the dreary maze of canals, under ornate marble balconies flanked with lions, around smooth walls, past the sorrowful façades of palaces that reflected large, worn-out business signs in the rippling water. He had difficulty getting there because the gondolier, who was in cahoots with lace-makers and glass-blowers, always tried to sidetrack him for inspections and purchases; just as the peculiar journey through Venice began to work its magic, the greedy business instincts of the sunken Queen did their best to ruin the illusion.
When he had returned to the hotel he announced at the office before dinner that unforeseen developments necessitated his departure the following morning. He was assured of their regrets. He settled his accounts. He dined, and spent the warm evening reading the newspapers in a rocking-chair on the rear terrace. Before going to bed he got his luggage all ready for departure.
When he got back to the hotel, he informed the front desk before dinner that unexpected events required him to leave the next morning. They expressed their regret. He settled his bills, had dinner, and spent the warm evening reading the newspapers in a rocking chair on the back terrace. Before going to bed, he packed all his luggage for the departure.
He did not sleep so well as he might, since the impending break-up made him restless. When he opened the window in the morning the sky was as overcast as ever, but the air seemed fresher, and he was already beginning to repent. Hadn't his decision been somewhat hasty and uncalled for, the result of a passing diffidence and indisposition? If he had delayed a little, if, instead of surrendering so easily, he had made some attempt to adjust himself to the air of Venice or to wait for an improvement in the weather, he would not be so rushed and inconvenienced, but could anticipate another forenoon on the beach like yesterday's. Too late. Now he would have to go on wanting what he had wanted yesterday. He dressed, and at about eight o'clock rode down to the ground floor for breakfast.
He didn’t sleep as well as he could have because the upcoming break-up made him uneasy. When he opened the window in the morning, the sky was as cloudy as ever, but the air felt fresher, and he was starting to have regrets. Hadn’t he acted a bit too quickly and without reason, driven by a moment of uncertainty and hesitance? If he had waited a little longer, if he had tried to adapt to the vibe of Venice instead of giving in so easily, he wouldn’t be feeling so rushed and disrupted, but would be looking forward to another morning on the beach like yesterday’s. Too late. Now he would have to keep wanting what he wanted yesterday. He got dressed and around eight o'clock, he rode down to the ground floor for breakfast.
As he entered, the buffet-room was still empty of guests. A few came in while he sat waiting for his order. With his tea cup to his lips, he saw the Polish girls and their governess appear: rigid, with morning freshness, their eyes still red, they walked across to their table in the corner by the window. Immediately afterwards, the porter approached him, cap in hand, and warned him that it was time to go. The automobile is ready to take him and the other passengers to the Hotel Excelsior, and from here the motorboat will bring the ladies and gentlemen to the station through the company's private canal. Time is pressing.—Aschenbach found that it was doing nothing of the sort. It was still over an hour before his train left. He was irritated by this hotel custom of hustling departing guests out of the house, and indicated to the porter that he wished to finish his breakfast in peace. The man retired hesitatingly, to appear again five minutes later. It is impossible for the car to wait any longer. Then he would take a cab, and carry his trunk with him, Aschenbach replied in anger. He would use the public steamboat at the proper time, and he requested that it be left to him personally to worry about his departure. The employee bowed himself away. Pleased with the way he had warded off these importunate warnings, Aschenbach finished his meal at leisure; in fact, he even let the waiter bring him a newspaper. The time had become quite short when he finally arose. It was fitting that at the same moment Tadzio should come through the glass door.
As he walked in, the buffet room was still empty of guests. A few people arrived while he sat waiting for his order. Holding his teacup, he noticed the Polish girls and their governess come in: stiff, looking fresh from the morning, their eyes still red, they walked over to their table in the corner by the window. Shortly after, the porter approached him, cap in hand, and informed him that it was time to leave. The car was ready to take him and the other passengers to the Hotel Excelsior, and from there, the motorboat would take the ladies and gentlemen to the station via the company’s private canal. Time was running out. Aschenbach realized it was not nearly time for him to go; he still had over an hour before his train left. He was annoyed by the hotel’s habit of rushing departing guests out, and he signaled to the porter that he wanted to finish his breakfast in peace. The porter hesitated but then left, only to return five minutes later. He insisted it was impossible for the car to wait any longer. Aschenbach snapped back that he would take a cab and carry his trunk himself. He would use the public steamboat when the time was right and requested that he be allowed to manage his departure personally. The porter bowed and stepped away. Satisfied with how he fended off those persistent warnings, Aschenbach leisurely finished his meal; in fact, he even had the waiter bring him a newspaper. It was getting quite close when he finally stood up. Coincidentally, Tadzio came through the glass door at that moment.
On the way to his table he walked in the opposite direction to Aschenbach, lowering his eyes modestly before the man with the grey hair and high forehead, only to raise them again, in his delicious manner, soft and full upon him—and he had passed. "Good-bye, Tadzio!" Aschenbach thought. "I did not see much of you." He did what was unusual with him, really formed the words on his lips and spoke them to himself; then he added, "God bless you!"—After this he left, distributed tips, was ushered out by the small gentle manager in the French frock coat, and made off from the hotel on foot, as he had come, going along the white blossoming avenue which crossed the island to the steamer bridge, accompanied by the house servant carrying his hand luggage. He arrived, took his place—and then followed a painful journey through all the depths of regret.
On his way to his table, he walked past Aschenbach, looking down modestly before the man with the gray hair and high forehead, only to look up again at him in his charming way, soft and warm. And then he was gone. "Goodbye, Tadzio!" Aschenbach thought. "I didn’t see much of you." He did something unusual for him; he actually formed the words on his lips and said them to himself. Then he added, "God bless you!" After that, he left, gave out tips, was guided out by the small, gentle manager in the French coat, and walked away from the hotel just like he had arrived, going down the white-blossoming avenue that led across the island to the steamboat dock, with the house servant carrying his small bag. He arrived, took his seat—and then experienced a painful journey filled with regret.
It was the familiar trip across the lagoon, past San Marco, up the Grand Canal. Aschenbach sat on the circular bench at the bow, his arm supported against the railing, shading his eyes with his hand. The public gardens were left behind, the Piazzetta opened up once more in princely splendour and was gone, then came the great flock of palaces, and as the channel made a turn the magnificently slung marble arch of the Rialto came into view. The traveller was watching; his emotions were in conflict. The atmosphere of the city, this slightly foul smell of sea and swamp which he had been so anxious to avoid—he breathed it now in deep, exquisitely painful draughts. Was it possible that he had not known, had not considered, just how much he was attached to all this? What had been a partial misgiving this morning, a faint doubt as to the advisability of his move, now became a distress, a positive misery, a spiritual hunger, and so bitter that it frequently brought tears to his eyes, while he told himself that he could not possibly have foreseen it. Hardest of all to bear, at times completely insufferable, was the thought that he would never see Venice again, that this was a leave-taking for ever. Since it had been shown for the second time that the city affected his health, since he was compelled for the second time to get away in all haste, from now on he would have to consider it a place impossible and forbidden to him, a place which he was not equal to, and which it would be foolish for him to visit again. Yes, he felt that if he left now, he would be shamefaced and defiant enough never to see again the beloved city which had twice caused him a physical break-down. And of a sudden this struggle between his desires and his physical strength seemed to the aging man so grave and important, his physical defeat seemed so dishonourable, so much a challenge to hold out at any cost, that he could not understand the ready submissiveness of the day before, when he had decided to give in without attempting any serious resistance.
It was the familiar trip across the lagoon, past San Marco, up the Grand Canal. Aschenbach sat on the circular bench at the bow, his arm resting on the railing, shading his eyes with his hand. The public gardens were left behind, the Piazzetta opened up once more in royal splendor and then disappeared, followed by the grand array of palaces. As the canal turned, the stunning marble arch of the Rialto came into view. The traveler was observing; his emotions were conflicted. The atmosphere of the city, that slightly unpleasant smell of sea and swamp that he had been so eager to avoid—he now breathed it in deep, exquisitely painful breaths. Was it possible that he hadn’t realized, hadn’t thought about, just how attached he was to all this? What had been a slight uncertainty that morning, a faint doubt about the wisdom of his decision, had now turned into distress, a real misery, a spiritual longing so intense that it often brought tears to his eyes as he reminded himself that he could never have predicted it. Most difficult to bear, at times completely unbearable, was the thought that he would never see Venice again, that this was a farewell for good. Since it had been made clear for the second time that the city affected his health, since he had to leave in a hurry for the second time, from now on he would have to think of it as an impossible and forbidden place, somewhere he wasn’t meant to go back to, and that it would be foolish for him to visit again. Yes, he felt that if he left now, he would feel embarrassed and stubborn enough never to see again the beloved city that had caused him two physical breakdowns. Suddenly, this battle between his desires and his physical limitations seemed to the aging man so serious and significant, his physical defeat felt so dishonorable, such a challenge to endure at all costs, that he couldn’t comprehend the easy acceptance of the day before when he had decided to give in without trying to resist seriously.
Meanwhile the steamboat was nearing the station; pain and perplexity increased, he became distracted. In his affliction, he felt that it was impossible to leave, and just as impossible to turn back. The conflict was intense as he entered the station. It was very late; there was not a moment to lose if he was to catch the train. He wanted to, and he did not want to. But time was pressing; it drove him on. He hurried to get his ticket, and looked about in the tumult of the hall for the officer on duty here from the hotel. The man appeared and announced that the large trunk had been transferred. Transferred already? Yes, thank you—to Como. To Como? And in the midst of hasty running back and forth, angry questions and confused answers, it came to light that the trunk had already been sent with other foreign baggage from the express office of the Hotel Excelsior in a completely wrong direction.
Meanwhile, the steamboat was approaching the station; his pain and confusion grew, and he became overwhelmed. In his distress, he felt stuck—leaving felt impossible, but so did turning back. The conflict was intense as he entered the station. It was very late; he couldn't waste any time if he wanted to catch the train. He wanted to go, but he also didn't want to. But time was urgent, pushing him forward. He rushed to get his ticket and scanned the busy hall for the hotel officer on duty. The man appeared and informed him that the large trunk had been transferred. Transferred already? Yes, thank you—to Como. To Como? Amidst the frantic back-and-forth, angry questions, and mixed-up answers, it became clear that the trunk had already been sent with other foreign baggage from the express office of the Hotel Excelsior in completely the wrong direction.
Aschenbach had difficulty in preserving the expression which was required under these circumstances. He was almost convulsed with an adventurous delight, an unbelievable hilarity. The employee rushed off to see if it were still possible to stop the trunk, and as was to be expected he returned with nothing accomplished. Aschenbach declared that he did not want to travel without his trunk, but had decided to go back and wait at the beach hotel for its return. Was the company's motorboat still at the station? The man assured him that it was lying at the door. With Italian volubility he persuaded the clerk at the ticket window to redeem the cancelled ticket, he swore that they would act speedily, that no time or money would be spared in recovering the trunk promptly, and—so the strange thing happened that, twenty minutes after his arrival at the station, the traveller found himself again on the Grand Canal, returning to the Lido.
Aschenbach struggled to keep the right expression given the situation. He was almost overwhelmed with a sense of adventure and unbelievable excitement. The employee hurried off to see if it was still possible to stop the trunk, but, as expected, he came back empty-handed. Aschenbach insisted he didn’t want to travel without his trunk and decided to go back and wait at the beach hotel for its return. Was the company’s motorboat still at the station? The man assured him it was right outside. With typical Italian chatter, he convinced the clerk at the ticket window to reinstate the canceled ticket, promising they would act quickly, that no time or money would be spared to get the trunk back swiftly, and—so it happened that, twenty minutes after his arrival at the station, the traveler found himself back on the Grand Canal, heading to the Lido.
Here was an adventure, wonderful, abashing, and comically dreamlike beyond belief: places which he had just bid farewell to for ever in the most abject misery—yet he had been turned and driven back by fate, and was seeing them again in the same hour! The spray from the bow, washing between gondolas and steamers with an absurd agility, shot the speedy little craft ahead to its goal, while the one passenger was hiding the nervousness and ebullience of a truant boy under the mask of resigned anger. From time to time he shook with laughter at this mishap which, as he told himself, could not have turned out better for a child of destiny. There were explanations to be given, expressions of astonishment to be faced—and then, he told himself, everything would be all right; then a misfortune would be avoided, a grave error rectified. And all that he had thought he was leaving behind him would be open to him again, there at his disposal. . . . And to cap it all, was the rapidity of the ride deceiving him, or was the wind really coming from the sea?
Here was an incredible adventure, both embarrassing and comically surreal: places he had just said goodbye to forever in the deepest misery—yet fate had turned him around and he was seeing them again in the same hour! The spray from the bow, moving with ridiculous agility between gondolas and steamboats, propelled the speedy little boat toward its destination, while the lone passenger was hiding the nervousness and excitement of a runaway kid behind a facade of resigned anger. Every now and then, he burst into laughter at this twist of fate, which, he reminded himself, couldn't have turned out better for someone destined for adventure. There were explanations to give, surprises to face—and then, he told himself, everything would be fine; then a disaster would be avoided, a serious mistake corrected. And everything he thought he was leaving behind would be available to him again, right at his fingertips... And just to top it off, was the speed of the ride tricking him, or was the wind really coming from the sea?
The waves beat against the walls of the narrow canal which runs through the island to the Hotel Excelsior. An automobile omnibus was awaiting his return there, and took him above the rippling sea straight to the beach hotel. The little manager with moustache and long-tailed frock coat came down the stairs to meet him.
The waves crashed against the walls of the narrow canal that runs through the island to the Hotel Excelsior. A bus was waiting for his return there, taking him over the shimmering sea straight to the beach hotel. The small manager with a mustache and a long-tailed coat came down the stairs to greet him.
He ingratiatingly regretted the episode, spoke of it as highly painful to him and the establishment, but firmly approved of Aschenbach's decision to wait here for the baggage. Of course his room had been given up, but there was another one, just as good, which he could occupy immediately. "Pas de chance, Monsieur," the Swiss elevator boy smiled as they were ascending. And so the fugitive was established again, in a room almost identical to the other in its location and furnishings.
He regretfully talked about the incident, saying it was very painful for him and the hotel, but he fully supported Aschenbach's choice to wait here for his luggage. Of course, his room had already been given away, but there was another one, just as nice, that he could move into right away. "No luck, sir," the Swiss elevator attendant smiled as they were going up. And so the fugitive was settled in again, in a room almost identical to the previous one in its location and furnishings.
Tired out by the confusion of this strange forenoon, he distributed the contents of his hand-bag about the room and dropped into an arm-chair by the open window. The sea had become a pale green, the air seemed thinner and purer; the beach, with its cabins and boats, seemed to have colour, although the sky was still grey. Aschenbach looked out, his hands folded in his lap; he was content to be back, but shook his head disapprovingly at his irresolution, his failure to know his own mind. He sat here for the better part of an hour, resting and dreaming vaguely. About noon he saw Tadzio in a striped linen suit with a red tie, coming back from the sea across the private beach and along the boardwalk to the hotel. Aschenbach recognized him from this altitude before he had actually set eyes on him; he was about to think some such words as "Well, Tadzio, there you are again!" but at the same moment he felt this careless greeting go dumb before the truth in his heart. He felt the exhilaration of his blood, a conflict of pain and pleasure, and he realized that it was Tadzio who had made it so difficult for him to leave.
Worn out from the chaos of the strange morning, he spread out the contents of his bag around the room and sank into an armchair by the open window. The sea had turned a light green, the air felt thinner and clearer; the beach, with its cabins and boats, appeared colorful, even though the sky remained grey. Aschenbach gazed outside, his hands resting in his lap; he was glad to be back, but shook his head disapprovingly at his uncertainty, his inability to figure out his own feelings. He sat there for nearly an hour, resting and lost in vague thoughts. Around noon, he spotted Tadzio in a striped linen suit with a red tie, coming back from the sea across the private beach and along the boardwalk to the hotel. Aschenbach recognized him from a distance before actually seeing him; he was about to say something like, "Well, Tadzio, there you are again!" but in that moment, the casual greeting faded in light of the truth in his heart. He felt a rush of excitement, a mix of pain and pleasure, and realized that it was Tadzio who had made leaving so difficult for him.
He sat very still, entirely unobserved from this height, and looked within himself. His features were alert, his eyebrows raised, and an attentive, keenly inquisitive smile distended his mouth. Then he raised his head; lifted both hands, which had hung relaxed over the arms of the chair, and in a slow twisting movement turned the palms downward—as though to suggest an opening and spreading outward of his arms. It was a spontaneous act of welcome, of calm acceptance.
He sat very still, completely unnoticed from this height, and looked within himself. His features were alert, his eyebrows raised, and a curious, keen smile stretched across his face. Then he lifted his head; raised both hands, which had been hanging relaxed over the arms of the chair, and in a slow twisting motion turned his palms downward—as if to suggest opening and spreading his arms outward. It was a natural gesture of welcome, a sign of calm acceptance.
IV
Day after day now the naked god with the hot cheeks drove his fire-breathing quadriga across the expanses of the sky, and his yellow locks fluttered in the assault of the east wind. A white silk sheen stretched over the slowly simmering Ponto. The sand glowed. Beneath the quaking silver blue of the ether rust-coloured canvasses were spread in front of the beach bathing houses, and the afternoons were spent in the sharply demarcated spots of shade which they cast. But it was also delightful in the evening, when the vegetation in the park had the smell of balsam, and the stars were working through their courses above, and the soft persistent murmur of the sea came up enchantingly through the night. Such evenings contained the cheering promise that more sunny days of casual idleness would follow, dotted with countless closely interspersed possibilities of well-timed accidents.
Day after day now, the sun god with the flushed cheeks drove his fire-breathing chariot across the vast sky, and his golden hair flowed in the breeze from the east. A shiny white sheen spread over the slowly warming sea. The sand shimmered. Under the quivering silver blue of the sky, rust-colored canvases were laid out in front of the beach houses, and the afternoons were spent in the sharply defined shade they created. But evenings were delightful too, when the plants in the park smelled of balsam, the stars moved through their courses above, and the soft, constant murmur of the sea enchanted the night. Those evenings held the hopeful promise that more sunny days of easy relaxation would come, filled with countless happy surprises.
The guest who was detained here by such an accommodating mishap did not consider the return of his property as sufficient grounds for another departure. He suffered some inconvenience for two days, and had to appear for meals in the large dining-room in his travelling clothes. When the strayed luggage was finally deposited in his room again, he unpacked completely and filled the closet and drawers with his belongings; he had decided to remain here indefinitely, content now that he could pass the hours on the beach in a silk suit and appear for dinner at his little table again in appropriate evening dress.
The guest who was temporarily held up by such a fortunate mishap didn’t think getting his belongings back was enough reason to leave. He endured some inconvenience for two days and had to eat in the large dining room in his travel clothes. When his lost luggage was finally returned to his room, he unpacked everything and filled the closet and drawers with his things; he had decided to stay here indefinitely, now happy that he could spend his time on the beach in a nice suit and enjoy dinner at his little table again in proper evening attire.
The comfortable rhythm of this life had already cast its spell over him; he was soon enticed by the ease, the mild splendour, of his programme. Indeed, what a place to be in, when the usual allurement of living in watering places on southern shores was coupled with the immediate nearness of the most wonderful of all cities! Aschenbach was not a lover of pleasure. Whenever that was some call for him to take a holiday, to indulge himself, to have a good time—and this was especially true at an earlier age—restlessness and repugnance soon drove him back to his rigorous toil, the faithful sober efforts of his daily routine. Except that this place was bewitching him, relaxing his will, making him happy. In the mornings, under the shelter of his bathing house, letting his eyes roam dreamily in the blue of the southern sea; or on a warm night as he leaned back against the cushions of the gondola carrying him under the broad starry sky home to the Lido from the Piazza di San Marco after long hours of idleness—and the brilliant lights, the melting notes of the serenade were being left behind—he often recalled his place in the mountains, the scene of his battles in the summer, where the clouds blew low across his garden, and terrifying storms put out the lamps at night, and the crows which he fed were swinging in the tops of the pine trees. Then everything seemed just right to him, as though he were lifted into the Elysian fields, on the borders of the earth, where man enjoys the easiest life, where there is no snow or winter, nor storms and pouring rains, but where Oceanus continually sends forth gentle cooling breezes, and the days pass in a blessed inactivity, without work, without effort, devoted wholly to the sun and to the feast days of the sun.
The comfortable rhythm of this life had already enchanted him; he was soon lured by the ease and gentle beauty of his routine. What a place to be, with the usual charm of living in seaside resorts on southern shores combined with the close proximity to the most amazing city! Aschenbach wasn’t one to seek pleasure. Whenever he felt the urge to take a vacation, to treat himself, to enjoy himself—and this had been especially true in his younger days—feelings of restlessness and aversion quickly brought him back to his strict work ethic, the steady, serious grind of his daily life. But this place was captivating him, relaxing his will, making him content. In the mornings, under the cover of his bathing house, he let his eyes wander dreamily over the blue southern sea; or on a warm night, as he leaned back against the cushions of the gondola taking him home to the Lido from the Piazza di San Marco after long hours of leisure—and the dazzling lights and the fading notes of the serenade were left behind—he often thought of his mountain retreat, the scene of his struggles in the summer, where clouds swept low over his garden, terrifying storms extinguished the lamps at night, and the crows he fed swung among the tops of the pine trees. At those times, everything felt just right, as if he had been transported to the Elysian fields, at the edge of the earth, where life is easiest, where there’s no snow or winter, no storms or heavy rains, but where Oceanus continuously sends forth gentle, cooling breezes, and the days drift by in blissful inaction, without work, without effort, entirely dedicated to the sun and to sunlit celebrations.
Aschenbach saw the boy Tadzio frequently, almost constantly. Owing to the limited range of territory and the regularity of their lives, the beauty was near him at short intervals throughout the day. He saw him, met him, everywhere: in the lower rooms of the hotel, on the cooling water trips to the city and back, in the arcades of the square, and at times when he was especially lucky ran across him on the streets. But principally, and with the most gratifying regularity, the forenoon on the beach allowed him to admire and study this rare spectacle at his leisure. Yes, it was this guaranty of happiness, this daily recurrence of good fortune, which made his stay here so precious, and gave him such pleasure in the constant procession of sunny days.
Aschenbach saw Tadzio frequently, almost all the time. Because their environment was small and their routines were predictable, the beauty was close to him regularly throughout the day. He spotted him everywhere: in the hotel’s lower floors, on the refreshing boat rides to the city and back, in the arcades of the square, and sometimes, when he was especially lucky, he ran into him on the streets. But mostly, and with the most satisfying consistency, the mornings on the beach let him admire and observe this rare sight at his own pace. Yes, it was this assurance of happiness, this daily dose of good luck, that made his stay here so valuable, and gave him so much joy in the ongoing stretch of sunny days.
He was up as early as he used to be when under the driving pressure of work, and was on the beach before most people, when the sun was still mild and the sea lay blinding white in the dreaminess of morning. He spoke amiably to the guard of the private beach, and also spoke familiarly to the barefoot, white-bearded old man who had prepared his place for him, stretching the brown canopy and bringing the furniture of the cabin out on the platform. Then he took his seat. There would now be three or four hours in which the sun mounted and gained terrific strength, the sea a deeper and deeper blue, and he might look at Tadzio.
He woke up as early as he used to when he was stressed with work and was on the beach before most people, while the sun was still gentle and the sea was blindingly white in the peacefulness of morning. He greeted the guard of the private beach kindly and chatted casually with the barefoot, white-bearded old man who had set up his spot, stretching the brown canopy and bringing out the furniture from the cabin onto the platform. Then he took his seat. Now there would be three or four hours while the sun rose higher and gained intense strength, the sea turning a deeper and deeper blue, and he could look at Tadzio.
He saw him approaching from the left, along the edge of the sea; he saw him as he stepped out backwards from among the cabins; or he would suddenly find, with a shock of pleasure, that he had missed his coming, that he was already here in the blue and white bathing suit which was his only garment now while on the beach, that he had already commenced his usual activities in the sun and the sand—a pleasantly trifling, idle, and unstable manner of living, a mixture of rest and play. Tadzio would saunter about, wade, dig, catch things, lie down, go for a swim, all the while being kept under surveillance by the women on the platform who made his name ring out in their falsetto voices: "Tadziu! Tadziu!" Then he would come running to them with a look of eagerness, to tell them what he had seen, what he had experienced, or to show them what he had found or caught: mussels, sea-horses, jelly-fish, and crabs that ran sideways. Aschenbach did not understand a word he said, and though it might have been the most ordinary thing in the world, it was a vague harmony in his ear. So the foreignness of the boy's speech turned it into music, a wanton sun poured its prodigal splendour down over him, and his figure was always set off against the background of an intense sea-blue.
He saw him coming from the left, along the edge of the sea; he noticed him as he stepped backward from among the cabins; or he would suddenly realize, with a jolt of pleasure, that he had missed his arrival, that he was already here in the blue and white bathing suit that was the only thing he wore at the beach, that he had already started his usual activities in the sun and sand—a delightfully trivial, lazy, and unstable way of living, a mix of rest and fun. Tadzio would stroll around, wade, dig, catch things, lie down, go for a swim, all the while being watched by the women on the platform who called out his name in their high-pitched voices: "Tadziu! Tadziu!" Then he would run over to them with an eager look, ready to share what he had seen or experienced, or to show them what he had found or caught: mussels, sea horses, jellyfish, and crabs that ran sideways. Aschenbach didn’t understand a word he said, and although it might have been the most ordinary thing in the world, it sounded like a vague melody to him. The foreignness of the boy's speech turned it into music, a wanton sun poured its lavish brilliance down on him, and his figure was always set against the backdrop of an intense sea-blue.
This piquant body was so freely exhibited that his eyes soon knew every line and posture. He was continually rediscovering with new pleasure all this familiar beauty, and his astonishment at its delicate appeal to his senses was unending. The boy was called to greet a guest who was paying his respects to the ladies at the bathing house. He came running, running wet perhaps out of the water, tossed back his curls, and as he held out his hand, resting on one leg and raising his other foot on the toes, the set of his body was delightful; it had a charming expectancy about it, a well-meaning shyness, a winsomeness which showed his aristocratic training. . . . He lay stretched full length, his bath towel slung across his shoulders, his delicately chiselled arm supported in the sand, his chin in his palm; the boy called Jaschu was squatting near him and making up to him—and nothing could be more enchanting than the smile of his eyes and lips when the leader glanced up at his inferior, his servant. . . . He stood on the edge of the sea, alone, apart from his people, quite near to Aschenbach—erect, his hands locked across the back of his neck, he swayed slowly on the balls of his feet, looked dreamily into the blueness of sea and sky, while tiny waves rolled up and bathed his feet. His honey-coloured hair clung in rings about his neck and temples. The sun made the down on his back glitter; the fine etching of the ribs, the symmetry of the chest, were emphasized by the tightness of the suit across the buttocks. His arm-pits were still as smooth as those of a statue; the hollows of his knees glistened, and their bluish veins made his body seem built of some clearer stuff. What rigour, what precision of thought, were expressed in this erect, youthfully perfect body! Yet the pure and strenuous will which, darkly at work, could bring such godlike sculpture to the light—was not he, the artist, familiar with this? Did it not operate in him too when he, under the press of frugal passions, would free from the marble mass of speech some slender form which he had seen in the mind and which he put before his fellows as a statue and a mirror of intellectual beauty?
This striking body was so openly displayed that his eyes quickly learned every curve and position. He was constantly rediscovering this familiar beauty with fresh enjoyment, and his amazement at its delicate allure to his senses never waned. The boy was called to greet a guest who was paying respects to the ladies at the beach house. He came running, possibly just out of the water, tossing back his curls, and as he extended his hand, balancing on one leg while raising the other foot on his toes, the way his body was set was delightful; it radiated a charming anticipation, a sincere shyness, a captivating quality that reflected his privileged upbringing. . . . He lay stretched out, his towel draped over his shoulders, with his finely shaped arm resting on the sand, his chin on his palm; the boy named Jaschu was squatting nearby, trying to win his favor—and nothing was more enchanting than the smile in his eyes and lips when the leader glanced up at his subordinate, his servant. . . . He stood at the edge of the sea, alone, separated from his group, close to Aschenbach—standing tall, his hands locked behind his neck, swaying gently on the balls of his feet, gazing dreamily into the blue of sea and sky as tiny waves rolled up and washed over his feet. His honey-colored hair hung in curls around his neck and temples. The sun made the hair on his back shine; the fine lines of his ribs and the symmetry of his chest were accentuated by the tightness of his suit across his backside. His armpits were as smooth as a statue's; the hollows of his knees shimmered, and their bluish veins made his body appear to be made of something clearer. What strength, what clarity of thought, were shown in this upright, youthful form! Yet the pure and intense will that, working quietly within, could bring such godlike sculpting to life—wasn't the artist familiar with this? Did it not occur in him too when, under the weight of restrained passions, he would carve out from the solid mass of words some delicate shape he had envisioned and present it to others as a statue and a reflection of intellectual beauty?
Statue and mirror! His eyes took in the noble form there bordered with blue; and with a rush of enthusiasm he felt that in this spectacle he was catching the beautiful itself, form as the thought of God, the one pure perfection which lives in the mind, and which, in this symbol and likeness, had been placed here quietly and simply as an object of devotion. That was drunkenness; and eagerly, without thinking, the aging artist welcomed it. His mind was in travail; all that he had learned, dropped back into flux; his understanding threw up age-old thoughts which he had inherited with youth though they had never before lived with their own fire. Is it not written that the sun diverts our attention from intellectual to sensual things? Reason and understanding, it is said, become so numbed and enchanted that the soul forgets everything out of delight with its immediate circumstances, and in astonishment becomes attached to the most beautiful object shined on by the sun; indeed, only with the aid of a body is it capable then of raising itself to higher considerations. To be sure, Amor did as the instructors of mathematics who show backward children tangible representations of the pure forms—similarly the god, in order to make the spiritual visible for us, readily utilized the form and colour of man's youth, and as a reminder he adorned these with the reflected splendour of beauty which, when we behold it, makes us flare up in pain and hope.
Statue and mirror! His eyes absorbed the noble figure outlined in blue; and with a wave of excitement, he realized that in this sight he was experiencing beauty itself, form as the thought of God, the one pure perfection that exists in the mind, which, in this symbol and likeness, had been placed here quietly and simply as an object of devotion. That was intoxicating; and eagerly, without thinking, the aging artist embraced it. His mind was in turmoil; everything he had learned fell back into chaos; his understanding produced age-old thoughts that he had inherited in his youth, though they had never before lived with their own fire. Isn't it said that the sun distracts us from intellectual to sensual things? Reason and understanding, it’s claimed, become so numbed and enchanted that the soul forgets everything out of sheer delight with its immediate surroundings, and in awe becomes attached to the most beautiful object illuminated by the sun; in fact, only with the help of a body can it then elevate itself to higher reflections. Indeed, Amor acted like the math instructors who show struggling students tangible representations of pure forms—similarly, the god, to make the spiritual visible to us, readily used the form and color of youthful humanity, and as a reminder, adorned them with the reflected brilliance of beauty which, when we see it, ignites us with both pain and hope.
His enthusiasm suggested these things, put him in the mood for them. And from the noise of the sea and the lustre of the sun he wove himself a charming picture. Here was the old plane-tree, not far from the walls of Athens—a holy, shadowy place filled with the smell of agnus castus blossoms and decorated with ornaments and images sacred to Achelous and the Nymphs. Clear and pure, the brook at the foot of the spreading tree fell across the smooth pebbles; the cicadas were fiddling. But on the grass, which was like a pillow gently sloping to the head, two people were stretched out, in hiding from the heat of the day: an older man and a youth, one ugly and one beautiful, wisdom next to loveliness. And amid gallantries and skilfully engaging banter, Socrates was instructing Phaedrus in matters of desire and virtue. He spoke to him of the hot terror which the initiate suffer when their eyes light on an image of the eternal beauty; spoke of the greed of the impious and the wicked who cannot think beauty when they see its likeness, and who are incapable of reverence; spoke of the holy distress which befalls the noble-minded when a godlike countenance, a perfect body, appears before them; they tremble and grow distracted, and hardly dare to raise their eyes, and they honour the man who possesses this beauty, yes, if they were not afraid of being thought downright madmen they would sacrifice to the beloved as to the image of a god. For beauty, my Phaedrus, beauty alone is both lovely and visible at once; it is, mark me, the only form of the spiritual which we can receive through the senses. Else what would become of us if the divine, if reason and virtue and truth, should appear to us through the senses? Should we not perish and be consumed with love, as Semele once was with Zeus? Thus, beauty is the sensitive man's access to the spirit—but only a road, a means simply, little Phaedrus. . . . And then this crafty suitor made the neatest remark of all; it was this, that the lover is more divine than the beloved, since the god is in the one, but not in the other—perhaps the most delicate, the most derisive thought which has ever been framed, and the one from which spring all the cunning and the profoundest pleasures of desire.
His enthusiasm hinted at these things and set the mood for them. Drawing from the sounds of the sea and the sparkle of the sun, he created a charming image in his mind. There was the old plane tree, not far from the walls of Athens—a sacred, shady spot filled with the scent of agnus castus blossoms, adorned with symbols and images dedicated to Achelous and the Nymphs. Crystal clear, the brook at the base of the wide tree flowed over smooth pebbles; the cicadas were singing. On the grass, which sloped gently like a pillow, two people lay hidden from the afternoon heat: an older man and a young man, one unattractive and one handsome, wisdom next to beauty. Amid flirtations and skillfully playful banter, Socrates was teaching Phaedrus about desire and virtue. He talked about the intense fear that initiates feel when they first see an image of eternal beauty; he spoke of the greed of the shameless and wicked who can’t recognize beauty in its resemblance and who lack reverence; he described the holy anxiety that noble souls experience when a godlike face or perfect body appears before them; they tremble and become distracted, hardly daring to look up, and they honor the person who possesses this beauty. If they weren’t scared of being thought completely mad, they would offer sacrifices to the beloved as if they were a god. For beauty, my Phaedrus, beauty alone is both lovely and visible at the same time; it is, let me emphasize, the only form of the spiritual that we can perceive through our senses. Otherwise, what would happen to us if the divine—if reason, virtue, and truth—were to present themselves through our senses? Would we not perish and be overwhelmed with love, as Semele once was with Zeus? Thus, beauty is the entrance for sensitive individuals to the spirit—but only a pathway, just a means, little Phaedrus. . . . And then this clever suitor made the sharpest comment of all: that the lover is more divine than the beloved, since the god resides in the lover, but not in the other—perhaps the most subtle, the most mocking notion ever conceived, and the source of all the clever and deepest pleasures of desire.
Writers are happiest with an idea which can become all emotion, and an emotion all idea. Just such a pulsating idea, such a precise emotion, belonged to the lonely man at this moment, was at his call. Nature, it ran, shivers with ecstasy when the spirit bows in homage before beauty. Suddenly he wanted to write. Eros loves idleness, they say, and he is suited only to idleness. But at this point in the crisis the affliction became a stimulus towards productivity. The incentive hardly mattered. A request, an agitation for an open statement on a certain large burning issue of culture and taste, was going about the intellectual world, and had finally caught up with the traveller here. He was familiar with the subject, it had touched his own experience; and suddenly he felt an irresistible desire to display it in the light of his own version. And he even went so far as to prefer working in Tadzio's presence, taking the scope of the boy as a standard for his writing, making his style follow the lines of this body which seemed godlike to him, and carrying his beauty over into the spiritual just as the eagle once carried the Trojan stag up into the ether. Never had his joy in words been more sweet. He had never been so aware that Eros is in the word as during those perilously precious hours when, at his crude table under the canopy, facing the idol and listening to the music of his voice, he followed Tadzio's beauty in the forming of his little tract, a page and a half of choice prose which was soon to excite the admiration of many through its clarity, its poise, and the vigorous curve of its emotion. Certainly it is better for people to know only the beautiful product as finished, and not in its conception, its conditions of origin. For knowledge of the sources from which the artist derives his inspiration would often confuse and alienate, and in this way detract from the effects of his mastery. Strange hours! Strangely enervating efforts! Rare creative intercourse between the spirit and a body! When Aschenbach put away his work and started back from the beach be felt exhausted, or in dispersion even; and it was as though his conscience were complaining after some transgression.
Writers feel most fulfilled when they can translate an idea into pure emotion and an emotion into a strong idea. At that moment, the lonely man had just such a vibrant idea and a clear emotion at his fingertips. Nature, he thought, quivers with joy when the spirit acknowledges beauty. Suddenly, he felt the urge to write. They say Eros thrives in idleness and is best suited for it. But in this moment of crisis, the challenge became a motivation for productivity. The reason for this hardly mattered. A request, a push for an open statement on a significant cultural and aesthetic issue, was making its way through the intellectual world, and it had finally reached him. He knew the topic well; it had touched his own experiences. Suddenly, he felt an overwhelming need to express it through his own lens. He even preferred to work while Tadzio was present, using the boy as a benchmark for his writing, shaping his style to echo the contours of the body that seemed divine to him, transferring Tadzio's beauty into a spiritual context as the eagle once carried the Trojan stag into the sky. He had never found such enjoyment in words. He had never realized that Eros was in the word as much as he did during those dangerously precious hours when, at his simple table beneath the canopy, facing the idol and listening to his voice, he followed Tadzio's beauty while crafting his short piece—a page and a half of refined prose that would soon draw admiration for its clarity, balance, and dynamic emotional flow. It's certainly better for people to only see the beautiful finished product rather than its conception and origins. Knowing where an artist's inspiration comes from can often confuse and alienate the audience, diminishing the impact of their mastery. Such strange hours! Such odd, exhausting efforts! A rare creative connection between spirit and body! When Aschenbach set aside his work and left the beach, he felt drained, almost scattered; it was as if his conscience was nagging at him after some wrongdoing.
The following morning, as he was about to leave the hotel, he looked off from the steps and noticed that Tadzio, who was alone and was already on his way towards the sea, was just approaching the private beach. He was half tempted by the simple notion of seizing this opportunity to strike up a casual friendly acquaintanceship with the boy who had been the unconscious source of so much agitation and upheaval; he wanted to address him, and enjoy the answering look in his eyes. The boy was sauntering along, he could be overtaken; and Aschenbach quickened his pace. He reached him on the boardwalk behind the bathing houses; was about to lay a hand on his head and shoulders; and some word or other, an amiable phrase in French, was on the tip of his tongue. But he felt that his heart, due also perhaps to his rapid stride, was beating like a hammer; and he was so short of breath that his voice would have been tight and trembling. He hesitated, he tried to get himself under control. Suddenly he became afraid that he had been walking too long so close behind the boy. He was afraid of arousing curiosity and causing him to look back questioningly. He made one more spurt, failed, surrendered, and passed with bowed head.
The next morning, just as he was about to leave the hotel, he stepped out and saw Tadzio, who was alone and already heading toward the sea, approaching the private beach. He was tempted by the simple idea of taking this chance to start a casual friendship with the boy who had unknowingly caused him so much turmoil; he wanted to speak to him and experience the look in his eyes in response. The boy was strolling along, and he could catch up to him; so, Aschenbach quickened his pace. He caught up with him on the boardwalk behind the bathing houses; he was about to put a hand on his head and shoulders, and a friendly phrase in French was on the tip of his tongue. But he realized that his heart, perhaps because of his quick pace, was pounding hard, and he was so out of breath that his voice would have come out tight and shaky. He hesitated, trying to regain his composure. Suddenly, he became afraid that he had been walking too closely behind the boy for too long. He worried about sparking curiosity and causing Tadzio to look back at him in confusion. He made one last effort to catch up, failed, surrendered, and walked by with his head down.
"Too late!" he thought immediately. Too late! Yet was it too late? This step which he had just been on the verge of taking would very possibly have put things on a sound, free and easy basis, and would have restored him to wholesome soberness. But the fact was that Aschenbach did not want soberness: his intoxication was too precious. Who can explain the stamp and the nature of the artist! Who can understand this deep instinctive welding of discipline and licence? For to be unable to want wholesome soberness, is licence. Aschenbach was no longer given to self-criticism. His tastes, the mental caliber of his years, his self-respect, ripeness, and a belated simplicity made him unwilling to dismember his motives and to debate whether his impulses were the result of conscientiousness or of dissolution and weakness. He was embarrassed, as he feared that someone or other, if only the guard on the beach, must have observed his pursuit and defeat. He was very much afraid of the ridiculous. Further, he joked with himself about his comically pious distress. "Downed," he thought, "downed like a rooster, with his wings hanging miserably in the battle. It really is a god who can, at one sight of his loveliness, break our courage this way and force down our pride so thoroughly. . . ." He toyed and skirmished with his emotions, and was far too haughty to be afraid of them.
"Too late!" he thought immediately. Too late! But was it really too late? The step he had almost taken could have put things back on solid ground, allowing him to regain his clarity. The truth was that Aschenbach didn't want clarity; his intoxication felt too valuable. Who can explain the essence and the nature of an artist? Who can comprehend this deep instinctive blend of discipline and freedom? To be unable to desire genuine clarity is a form of freedom. Aschenbach no longer engaged in self-criticism. His tastes, the intellectual level of his age, his self-respect, maturity, and a newfound simplicity made him reluctant to break down his motives and ponder whether his impulses stemmed from responsibility or from decline and weakness. He felt awkward, worried that someone, even just the lifeguard on the beach, might have seen his pursuit and failure. He was very much afraid of looking foolish. Moreover, he joked with himself about his absurdly pious distress. "Defeated," he thought, "defeated like a rooster, with its wings hanging limply after the fight. It truly is like a god who can, with a mere glance at his beauty, shatter our courage and diminish our pride so completely..." He played around with his emotions and was far too proud to be afraid of them.
He had already ceased thinking about the time when the vacation period which he had fixed for himself would expire; the thought of going home never even suggested itself. He had sent for an ample supply of money. His only concern was with the possible departure of the Polish family; by a casual questioning of the hotel barber he had contrived to learn that these people had come here only a short time before his own arrival. The sun browned his face and hands, the invigorating salt breezes made him feel fresher. Once he had been in the habit of expending on his work every bit of nourishment which food, sleep, or nature could provide him; and similarly now he was generous and uneconomical, letting pass off as elation and emotion all the daily strengthening derived from sun, idleness, and sea air.
He had already stopped thinking about when his planned vacation would end; the idea of going home didn't even cross his mind. He had arranged for plenty of money. His only worry was whether the Polish family would leave; through casual chatter with the hotel barber, he found out that they had arrived only shortly before he did. The sun tanned his face and hands, and the refreshing salt breezes made him feel rejuvenated. Once, he had used all the energy from food, sleep, or nature for his work, and now he was similarly indulgent, channeling all the daily replenishment from the sun, laziness, and sea air into feelings of joy and excitement.
His sleep was fitful; the preciously uniform days were separated by short nights of happy unrest. He did retire early, for at nine o'clock, when Tadzio had disappeared from the scene, the day seemed over. But at the first grey of dawn he was awakened by a gently insistent shock; he suddenly remembered his adventure, he could no longer remain in bed; he arose, and clad lightly against the chill of morning, he sat down by the open window to await the rising of the sun. Revived by his sleep, he watched this miraculous event with reverence. Sky, earth, and sea still lay in glassy, ghost-like twilight; a dying star still floated in the emptiness of space But a breeze started up, a winged message from habitations beyond reach, telling that Eros was rising from beside her husband. And that first sweet reddening in the farthest stretches of sky and sea took place by which the sentiency of creation is announced. The goddess was approaching, the seductress of youth who stole Cleitus and Cephalus, and despite the envy of all the Olympians enjoyed the love of handsome Orion. A strewing of roses began there on the edge of the world, an unutterably pure glowing and blooming. Childish clouds, lighted and shined through, floated like busy little Cupids in the rosy, bluish mist. Purple fell upon the sea, which seemed to be simmering, and washing the colour towards him. Golden spears shot up into the sky from behind. The splendour caught fire, silently, and with godlike power an intense flame of licking tongues broke out—and with rattling hoofs the brother's sacred chargers mounted the horizon. Lighted by the god's brilliance, he sat there, keeping watch alone. He closed his eyes, letting this glory play against the lids. Past emotions, precious early afflictions and yearnings which had been stifled by his rigorous programme of living, were now returning in such strange new forms. With an embarrassed, astonished smile, he recognized them. He was thinking, dreaming; slowly his lips formed a name. And still smiling, with his face turned upwards, hands folded in his lap, he fell asleep again in his chair.
His sleep was restless; the once predictable days were broken up by short nights of joyful unrest. He went to bed early because by nine o'clock, once Tadzio had vanished, the day felt finished. But at the first light of dawn, he was stirred awake by a gentle jolt; he suddenly remembered his adventure and couldn't stay in bed any longer. He got up, dressed lightly against the morning chill, and sat by the open window to wait for the sun to rise. Rejuvenated by sleep, he watched this amazing sight with awe. The sky, the earth, and the sea were still wrapped in a ghostly twilight; a fading star hung in the emptiness of space. But then a breeze picked up, a winged messenger from distant places, announcing that Eros was rising next to her husband. The first blush of color in the far reaches of the sky and sea signaled the awakening of creation. The goddess was coming, the enchanting figure of youth who captivated Cleitus and Cephalus, and despite the jealousy of all the gods, enjoyed the love of the handsome Orion. A shower of roses began at the edge of the world, an indescribably pure glow and bloom. Fluffy clouds, backlit and shining through, floated like playful little Cupids in the rosy, bluish mist. Purple hues spilled over the sea, which seemed to bubble and wash colors towards him. Golden rays shot up into the sky from behind. The brightness ignited silently, and with divine intensity, a fierce flame burst forth—and with thundering hooves, the sacred steeds of dawn charged over the horizon. Bathed in the divine light, he sat there, keeping watch alone. He closed his eyes, letting this brilliance play against his eyelids. Past emotions, cherished early struggles and desires that had been suppressed by his strict routine began to resurface in strange new forms. With an embarrassed, amazed smile, he recognized them. He was thinking, dreaming; slowly, his lips formed a name. Still smiling, with his face lifted, hands folded in his lap, he dozed off again in his chair.
But the day which began with such fiery solemnity underwent a strange mythical transformation. Where did the breeze originate which suddenly began playing so gently and insinuatingly, like some whispered suggestion, about his ears and temples? Little white choppy clouds stood in the sky in scattered clumps, like the pasturing herds of the gods. A stronger wind arose, and the steeds of Poseidon came prancing up, and along with them the steers which belonged to the blue-locked god, bellowing and lowering their horns as they ran. Yet among the detritus of the more distant beach waves were hopping forward like agile goats. He was caught in the enchantment of a sacredly distorted world full of Panic life—and he dreamed delicate legends. Often, when the sun was sinking behind Venice, he would sit on a bench in the park observing Tadzio who was dressed in a white suit with a coloured sash and was playing ball on the smooth gravel—and it was Hyacinth that he seemed to be watching. Hyacinth who was to die because two gods loved him. Yes, he felt Zephyr's aching jealousy of the rival who forgot the oracle, the bow, and the lyre, in order to play for ever with this beauty. He saw the discus, guided by a pitiless envy, strike the lovely head; he too, growing pale, caught the drooping body—and the flower, sprung from this sweet blood, bore the inscription of his unending grief.
But the day that started with such intense solemnity underwent a strange, mythical change. Where did the gentle breeze come from that suddenly began to play softly and suggestively around his ears and temples? Little white, choppy clouds dotted the sky in scattered clumps, like the herds of gods grazing. A stronger wind picked up, and Poseidon's horses came prancing in, along with the cattle belonging to the god with blue hair, bellowing and lowering their horns as they ran. Yet among the debris of the distant beach, waves jumped forward like lively goats. He was caught in the spell of a sacredly distorted world full of life and panic—and he dreamed delicate legends. Often, when the sun was setting behind Venice, he would sit on a bench in the park, watching Tadzio, who was dressed in a white suit with a colored sash, playing ball on the smooth gravel—and it was Hyacinth that he seemed to be watching. Hyacinth, who was destined to die because two gods loved him. Yes, he felt Zephyr's painful jealousy of the rival who forgot the oracle, the bow, and the lyre, just to play forever with this beauty. He saw the discus, driven by merciless envy, strike the beautiful head; he too, growing pale, caught the limp body—and the flower that sprang from this sweet blood bore the mark of his endless grief.
Nothing is more unusual and strained than the relationship between people who know each other only with their eyes, who meet daily, even hourly, and yet are compelled, by force of custom or their own caprices, to say no word or make no move of acknowledgement, but to maintain the appearance of an aloof unconcern. There is a restlessness and a surcharged curiosity existing between them, the hysteria of an unsatisfied, unnaturally repressed desire for acquaintanceship and intercourse; and especially there is a kind of tense respect. For one person loves and honours another so long as he cannot judge him, and desire is an evidence of incomplete knowledge.
Nothing is more unusual and awkward than the relationship between people who only see each other with their eyes, who meet daily, even hourly, yet are forced, by habit or their own whims, to say nothing or make any gestures of acknowledgment, maintaining an appearance of detached indifference. There's a restlessness and a charged curiosity between them, the tension of an unfulfilled, unnaturally suppressed desire for connection and interaction; and especially, there’s a kind of tense respect. One person admires and holds another in high regard as long as he cannot fully understand him, and desire reflects a lack of complete knowledge.
Some kind of familiarity had necessarily to form itself between Aschenbach and young Tadzio; and it gave the elderly man keen pleasure to see that his sympathies and interests were not left completely unanswered. For example, when the boy appeared on the beach in the morning and was going towards his family's bathing house, what had induced him never to use the boardwalk on the far side of it any more, but to stroll along the front path, through the sand, past Aschenbach's habitual place, and often unnecessarily close to him, almost touching his table, or his chair even? Did the attraction, the fascination of an overpowering emotion have such an effect upon the frail unthinking object of it? Aschenbach watched daily for Tadzio to approach; and sometimes he acted as though he were occupied when this event was taking place, and he let the boy pass unobserved. But at other times he would look up, and their glances met. They were both in deep earnest when this occurred. Nothing in the elderly man's cultivated and dignified expression betrayed any inner movement; but there was a searching look in Tadzio's eyes, a thoughtful questioning—he began to falter, looked down, then looked up again charmingly, and when he had passed something in his bearing seemed to indicate that it was only his breeding which kept him from turning around.
Some sort of familiarity had to develop between Aschenbach and young Tadzio; it gave the older man great pleasure to see that his feelings and interests were not entirely ignored. For instance, when the boy appeared on the beach in the morning and headed toward his family's bathing house, what made him stop using the boardwalk on the far side and instead walk along the front path, through the sand, past Aschenbach's usual spot, and often unnecessarily close to him, almost brushing against his table or chair? Did the attraction, the allure of such a strong emotion have that kind of impact on the delicate, unthinking recipient of it? Aschenbach waited every day for Tadzio to come closer; sometimes he pretended to be busy when this happened, letting the boy pass unnoticed. But other times he would look up, and their eyes would meet. They were both serious when this happened. Nothing in the older man's refined and dignified expression showed any inner turmoil; however, there was an inquisitive look in Tadzio's eyes, a thoughtful inquiry—he started to hesitate, looked down, then charmingly looked up again, and as he walked past, something in his manner suggested that only his upbringing kept him from turning back.
Once, however, one evening, things turned out differently. The Polish children and their governess had been missing at dinner in the large hall; Aschenbach had noted this uneasily. After the meal, disturbed by their absence, Aschenbach was walking in evening dress and straw hat in front of the hotel at the foot of the terrace, when suddenly he saw the nunlike sisters appear in the light of the arc-lamp, accompanied by their governess and with Tadzio a few steps behind. Evidently they were coming from the steamer pier after having dined for some reason in the city. It must have been cool on the water; Tadzio was wearing a dark blue sailor overcoat with gold buttons, and on his head he had a cap to match. The sun and sea air had not browned him; his skin still had the same yellow marble colour as at first. It even seemed paler to-day than usual, whether from the coolness or from the blanching moonlight of the lamps. His regular eyebrows showed up more sharply, the darkness of his eyes was deeper. It is hard to say how beautiful he was; and Aschenbach was distressed, as he had often been before, by the thought that words can only evaluate sensuous beauty, but not re-give it.
One evening, however, things took a different turn. The Polish kids and their governess were absent from dinner in the large hall, which made Aschenbach uneasy. After the meal, feeling worried about their absence, Aschenbach was outside the hotel in his evening attire and straw hat, walking in front of the terrace when he suddenly spotted the nun-like sisters appear under the arc lamp, accompanied by their governess, with Tadzio a few steps behind. They were clearly coming from the steamer pier after dining somewhere in the city. The water must have been cool; Tadzio was dressed in a dark blue sailor coat with gold buttons, and he wore a matching cap. The sun and sea air hadn’t tanned him; his skin still had the same yellow marble-like color as before. Today, it even seemed paler than usual, either from the coolness or from the white moonlight of the lamps. His perfectly shaped eyebrows stood out more distinctly, and the darkness of his eyes seemed deeper. It’s hard to express how beautiful he was, and Aschenbach felt a familiar distress at the thought that words can only describe sensuous beauty but can’t recreate it.
He had not been prepared for this rich spectacle; it came unhoped for. He had no time to entrench himself behind an expression of repose and dignity. Pleasure, surprise, admiration must have shown on his face as his eyes met those of the boy—and at this moment it happened that Tadzio smiled, smiled to him, eloquently, familiarly, charmingly, without concealment; and during the smile his lips slowly opened. It was the smile of Narcissus bent over the reflecting water, that deep, fascinated, magnetic smile with which he stretches out his arms to the image of his own beauty—a smile distorted ever so little, distorted at the hopelessness of his efforts to kiss the pure lips of the shadow. It was coquettish, inquisitive, and slightly tortured. It was infatuated, and infatuating.
He wasn't ready for this stunning sight; it was completely unexpected. He had no time to hide behind a look of calm and dignity. Joy, surprise, and admiration must have shown on his face as his eyes met the boy's—and at that moment, Tadzio smiled, a smile just for him, warm and charming, completely open; and as he smiled, his lips slowly parted. It was the smile of Narcissus leaning over the still water, that deep, mesmerizing smile with which he reaches out to his reflection, a smile slightly twisted by the futility of his desire to kiss the pure lips of his own shadow. It was flirty, curious, and a bit tormented. It was captivating and addictive.
He had received this smile, and he hurried away as though he carried a fatal gift. He was so broken up that he was compelled to escape the light of the terrace and the front garden; he hastily hunted out the darkness of the park in the rear. Strangely indignant and tender admonitions wrung themselves out of him: "You dare not smile like that! Listen, no one dare smile like that to another!" He threw himself down on a bench; in a frenzy he breathed the night smell of the vegetation. And leaning back, his arms loose, overwhelmed, with frequent chills running through him, he whispered the fixed formula of desire—impossible in this case, absurd, abject, ridiculous, and yet holy, even in this case venerable: "I love you!"
He received that smile and rushed away as if he were carrying a dangerous burden. He was so shaken that he felt the need to escape the light of the terrace and the front garden; he quickly sought out the darkness of the park in the back. Strange feelings of indignation and tenderness forced their way out of him: “You can’t smile like that! Listen, no one should smile like that at someone else!” He threw himself onto a bench, frantically inhaling the night air filled with the scent of the plants. Leaning back with his arms relaxed, overwhelmed and shivering, he whispered the unchangeable declaration of desire—impossible in this situation, absurd, pitiful, ridiculous, and yet sacred, even in this case venerable: “I love you!”
V
During his fourth week at the Lido Gustav von Aschenbach made several sinister observations touching on the world about him. First, it seemed to him that as the season progressed the number of guests at the hotel was diminishing rather than increasing; and German especially seemed to be dropping away, so that finally he heard nothing but foreign sounds at table and on the beach. Then one day in conversation with the barber, whom he visited often, he caught a word which startled him. The man had mentioned a German family that left soon after their arrival; he added glibly and flatteringly, "But you are staying, sir. You have no fear of the plague." Aschenbach looked at him. "The plague?" he repeated. The gossiper was silent, made out as though busy with other things, ignored the question. When it was put more insistently, he declared that he knew nothing, and with embarrassing volubility he tried to change the subject.
During his fourth week at the Lido, Gustav von Aschenbach noticed several unsettling things about the world around him. First, it seemed to him that as the season went on, the number of guests at the hotel was decreasing instead of increasing; and Germans, in particular, seemed to be leaving, so that eventually, he heard nothing but foreign languages at the dinner table and on the beach. Then one day, while talking to the barber he visited often, he overheard something that shocked him. The barber mentioned a German family that had left shortly after arriving and then added, almost too casually, "But you are staying, sir. You have no fear of the plague." Aschenbach looked at him. "The plague?" he echoed. The barber fell silent, pretending to be busy with other tasks and ignoring the question. When Aschenbach pressed him, the barber claimed he knew nothing and awkwardly tried to change the conversation.
That was about noon. In the afternoon there was a calm, and Aschenbach rode to Venice under an intense sun. For he was driven by a mania to follow the Polish children whom he had seen with their governess taking the road to the steamer pier. He did not find the idol at San Marco. But while sitting over his tea at his little round iron table on the shady side of the square, he suddenly detected a peculiar odour in the air which, it seemed to him now, he had noticed for days without being consciously aware of it. The smell was sweetish and drug-like, suggesting sickness, and wounds, and a suspicious cleanliness. He tested and examined it thoughtfully, finished his luncheon, and left the square on the side opposite the church. The smell was stronger where the street narrowed. On the corners printed posters were hung, giving municipal warnings against certain diseases of the gastric system liable to occur at this season, against the eating of oysters and clams, and also against the water of the canals. The euphemistic nature of the announcement was palpable. Groups of people had collected in silence on the bridges and squares; and the foreigner stood among them, scenting and investigating.
It was around noon. In the afternoon, there was a calm, and Aschenbach rode to Venice under a blazing sun. He was driven by a compulsion to follow the Polish children he had seen with their governess heading to the steamer pier. He didn’t find his idol at San Marco. But while sitting over his tea at his small round iron table in the shade of the square, he suddenly noticed a strange smell in the air that he realized he had been sensing for days without really paying attention to it. The scent was sweet and medicinal, hinting at illness, wounds, and an unsettling cleanliness. He contemplated it thoughtfully, finished his lunch, and left the square on the side opposite the church. The smell was stronger where the street narrowed. On the corners, posters were displayed with municipal warnings about certain gastric diseases likely to occur at this time, cautioning against eating oysters and clams, and advising against the water from the canals. The euphemistic nature of the announcement was obvious. Groups of people had gathered in silence on the bridges and in the squares; and the foreigner stood among them, sniffing and investigating.
At a little shop he inquired about the fatal smell, asking the proprietor, who was leaning against his door surrounded by coral chains and imitation amethyst jewellery. The man measured him with heavy eyes, and brightened up hastily. "A matter of precaution, sir!" he answered with a gesture. "A regulation of the police which must be taken for what it is worth. This weather is oppressive, the sirocco is not good for the health. In short, you understand—an exaggerated prudence perhaps." Aschenbach thanked him and went on. Also on the steamer back to the Lido he caught the smell of the disinfectant.
At a small shop, he asked the owner about the awful smell, who was leaning against the door surrounded by coral chains and fake amethyst jewelry. The man looked him over with tired eyes and quickly perked up. "Just a precaution, sir!" he replied with a wave of his hand. "It's a police regulation that should be taken with a grain of salt. This weather is stifling, the sirocco isn’t great for your health. In short, you get what I mean—maybe a bit overly cautious." Aschenbach thanked him and continued on. Also, on the boat back to the Lido, he noticed the smell of the disinfectant again.
Returning to the hotel, he went immediately to the periodical stand in the lobby and ran through the papers. He found nothing in the foreign language press. The domestic press spoke of rumours, produced hazy statistics, repeated official denials and questioned their truthfulness. This explained the departure of the German and Austrian guests. Obviously, the subjects of the other nations knew nothing, suspected nothing, were not yet uneasy. "To keep it quiet!" Aschenbach thought angrily, as he threw the papers back on the table. "To keep that quiet!" But at the same moment he was filled with satisfaction over the adventure that was to befall the world about him. For passion, like crime, is not suited to the secure daily rounds of order and well-being; and every slackening in the bourgeois structure, every disorder and affliction of the world, must be held welcome, since they bring with them a vague promise of advantage. So Aschenbach felt a dark contentment with what was taking place, under cover of the authorities, in the dirty alleys of Venice. This wicked secret of the city was welded with his own secret, and he too was involved in keeping it hidden. For in his infatuation he cared about nothing but the possibility of Tadzio's leaving, and he realized with something like terror that he would not know how to go on living if this occurred.
Returning to the hotel, he headed straight to the newsstand in the lobby and looked through the papers. He found nothing in the foreign language newspapers. The domestic press talked about rumors, provided unclear statistics, repeated official denials, and questioned their honesty. This explained the departure of the German and Austrian guests. Clearly, people from the other nations were unaware, didn’t suspect anything, and were not yet concerned. "Keep it quiet!" Aschenbach thought angrily, as he tossed the papers back on the table. "Keep that quiet!" But at the same time, he felt a sense of satisfaction about the upheaval surrounding him. Because passion, like crime, doesn’t fit into the stable daily routine of order and comfort; and any disruption in the middle-class structure, any chaos or troubles in the world, should be welcomed, as they offer a vague promise of gain. So Aschenbach felt a dark contentment with what was happening, under the authorities' noses, in the grimy alleys of Venice. This wicked secret of the city was intertwined with his own secret, and he too was part of keeping it hidden. In his obsession, he cared only about the possibility of Tadzio leaving, and he realized with something like fear that he wouldn’t know how to keep going if that happened.
Lately he had not been relying simply on good luck and the daily routine for his chances to be near the boy and look at him. He pursued him, stalked him. On Sundays, for instance, the Poles never appeared on the beach. He guessed that they must be attending mass at San Marco. He hurried there; and stepping from the heat of the square into the golden twilight of the church, he found the boy he was hunting, bowed over a prie-dieu, praying. Then he stood in the background, on the cracked mosaic floor, with people on all sides kneeling, murmuring, and making the sign of the cross. And the compact grandeur of this oriental temple weighed heavily on his senses. In front, the richly ornamented priest was conducting the office, moving about and singing; incense poured forth, clouding the weak little flame of the candle on the altar—and with the sweet, stuffy sacrificial odour another seemed to commingle faintly: the smell of the infested city. But through the smoke and the sparkle Aschenbach saw how the boy there in front turned his head, hunted him out, and looked at him.
Lately, he had stopped relying only on luck and his daily routine to get close to the boy and watch him. He was actively pursuing him, stalking him. For example, on Sundays, the Poles never showed up at the beach. He guessed they must be at mass at San Marco. He rushed over there, and as he stepped from the heat of the square into the golden twilight of the church, he found the boy he was searching for, bowed over a prie-dieu, praying. He stood in the background on the cracked mosaic floor, surrounded by people kneeling, murmuring, and making the sign of the cross. The impressive beauty of the oriental temple weighed heavily on his senses. Up front, the richly adorned priest was leading the service, moving around and singing; incense filled the air, clouding the weak flame of the candle on the altar—and along with the sweet, stuffy scent of sacrifice, another smell mixed faintly: the odor of the infected city. But through the smoke and the glimmer, Aschenbach saw the boy in front turn his head, find him, and look at him.
When the crowd was streaming out through the opened portals into the brilliant square with its swarms of pigeons, the lover hid in the vestibule; he kept trader cover, he lay in wait. He saw the Poles quit the church, saw how the children took ceremonious leave of their mother, and how she turned towards the Piazzetta on her way home. He made sure that the boy, the nunlike sisters, and the governess took the road to the right through the gateway of the dock tower and into the Merceria. And after giving them a slight start, he followed, followed them furtively on their walk through Venice. He had to stand still when they stopped, had to take flight in shops and courts to let them pass when they turned back. He lost them; hot and exhausted, he hunted them over bridges and down dirty blind-alleys—and he underwent minutes of deadly agony when suddenly he saw them coming towards him in a narrow passage where escape was impossible. Yet it could not be said that he suffered. He was drunk, and his steps followed the promptings of the demon who delights in treading human reason and dignity under foot.
When the crowd was pouring out through the open doors into the bright square filled with pigeons, the lover hid in the entryway; he kept to the shadows, waiting. He watched the Poles leave the church, saw how the children said their formal goodbyes to their mother, and how she turned toward the Piazzetta on her way home. He made sure that the boy, the nunlike sisters, and the governess took the path to the right through the dock tower's gateway and into the Merceria. After giving them a slight head start, he followed them, stealthily making his way through Venice. He had to stand still when they paused, had to dart into shops and courtyards to let them pass when they turned around. He lost them; hot and exhausted, he searched for them over bridges and down grimy back alleys—and he experienced minutes of intense dread when he suddenly saw them coming toward him in a narrow passage where escape was impossible. Yet he couldn’t say he was suffering. He was drunk, and his steps followed the impulses of the demon that revels in trampling on human reason and dignity.
In one place Tadzio and his companions took a gondola; and shortly after they had pushed off from the shore, Aschenbach, who had hidden behind some structure, a well, while they were climbing in, now did the same. He spoke in a hurried undertone as he directed the rower, with the promise of a generous tip, to follow unnoticed and at a distance that gondola which was just rounding the corner. And he thrilled when the man, with the roguish willingness of an accomplice, assured him in the same tone that his wishes would be carried out, carried out faithfully.
In one spot, Tadzio and his friends hopped into a gondola; shortly after they pushed off from the shore, Aschenbach, who had been hiding behind a structure, a well, while they were getting in, did the same. He spoke in a hurried whisper as he instructed the rower, promising a generous tip, to discreetly follow the gondola that was just rounding the corner. He felt a thrill when the man, with a cheeky willingness like an accomplice, assured him in the same tone that his wishes would be fulfilled, fulfilled faithfully.
Leaning back against the soft black cushions, he rocked and glided towards the other black-beaked craft where his passion was drawing him. At times it escaped; then he felt worried and uneasy. But his pilot, as though skilled in such commissions, was always able through sly manoeuvres, speedy diagonals and shortcuts, to bring the quest into view again. The air was quiet and smelly, the sun burned down strong through the slate-coloured mist. Water slapped against the wood and stone. The call of the gondolier, half warning, half greeting, was answered with a strange obedience far away in the silence of the labyrinth. White and purple umbels with the scent of almonds hung down from little elevated gardens over crumbling walls. Arabian window-casings were outlined through the murkiness. The marble steps of a church descended into the water; a beggar squatted there, protesting his misery, holding out his hat, and showing the whites of his eyes as though he were blind. An antiquarian in front of his den fawned on the passer-by and invited him to stop in the hopes of swindling him. That was Venice, the flatteringly and suspiciously beautiful—this city, half legend, half snare for strangers; in its foul air art once flourished gluttonously, and had suggested to its musicians seductive notes which cradle and lull. The adventurer felt as though his eyes were taking in this same luxury, as though his ears were being won by just such melodies. He recalled too that the city was diseased and was concealing this through greed—and he peered more eagerly after the retreating gondola.
Leaning back against the soft black cushions, he swayed and glided toward the other black-beaked boat where his passion was pulling him. Sometimes it slipped away, leaving him worried and on edge. But his pilot, seemingly experienced in such tasks, always managed, through clever maneuvers, quick diagonals, and shortcuts, to bring the destination back into sight. The air was still and smelled bad, the sun beat down fiercely through the slate-colored mist. Water slapped against the wood and stone. The gondolier's call, part warning, part greeting, was met with a strange obedience echoing in the silence of the labyrinth. White and purple flowers with the scent of almonds hung down from small elevated gardens over crumbling walls. Arabian window frames stood out in the gloomy light. The marble steps of a church dipped into the water; a beggar sat there, showcasing his misery, holding out his hat and flashing the whites of his eyes as if he were blind. An antiquarian in front of his shop fawned over passersby, inviting them to stop in hopes of conning them. That was Venice, charming yet full of suspicion—this city, half legend, half trap for strangers; in its foul air, art once flourished greedily, inspiring its musicians with seductive notes that soothe and lull. The adventurer felt as if his eyes were absorbing this same luxury, as if his ears were being captivated by those very melodies. He also recalled that the city was sick and was hiding that behind its greed—and he looked more eagerly after the vanishing gondola.
Thus, in his infatuation, he wanted simply to pursue uninterrupted the object that aroused him, to dream of it when it was not there, and, after the fashion of lovers, to speak softly to its mere outline. Loneliness, strangeness, and the joy of a deep belated intoxication encouraged him and prompted him to accept even the remotest things without reserve or shame—with the result that as he returned late in the evening from Venice, he stopped on the second floor of the hotel before the door of the boy's room, laid his head in utter drunkenness against the hinge of the door, and for a long time could not drag himself away despite the danger of being caught and embarrassed in such a mad situation.
So, caught up in his obsession, he just wanted to endlessly chase the thing that excited him, to daydream about it when it wasn’t around, and, like lovers often do, to speak softly to its mere silhouette. Loneliness, unfamiliarity, and the thrill of a long-overdue intoxication pushed him to embrace even the most distant things without hesitation or shame—leading to the moment when he returned late from Venice, stopping on the second floor of the hotel in front of the boy's room. He leaned his head, completely drunk, against the door hinge and couldn’t pull himself away for a long time, despite the risk of being caught and embarrassed in such a wild situation.
Yet there were still moments of relief when he came partly to his senses. "Where to!" he would think, alarmed. "Where to!" Like every man whose natural abilities stimulate an aristocratic interest in his ancestry, he was accustomed to think of his forbears in connexion with the accomplishments and successes of his life, to assure himself of their approval, their satisfaction, their undeniable respect. He thought of them now, entangled as he was in such an illicit experience, caught in such exotic transgressions. He thought of their characteristic rigidity of principle, their scrupulous masculinity—and he smiled dejectedly. What would they say? But then, what would they have said to his whole life, which was almost degenerate in its departure from theirs, this life under the bane of art—a life against which he himself had once issued such youthful mockeries out of loyalty to his fathers, but which at bottom had been so much like theirs! He too had served, he too had been a soldier and a warrior like many of them—for art was a war, a destructive battle, and one was not equal to it for long these days. A life of self-conquest and of in-spite-offs, a rigid, sober, and unyielding life which he had formed into the symbol of a delicate and timely heroism. He might well call it masculine, or brave; and it almost seemed as though the Eros mastering him were somehow peculiarly adapted and inclined to such a life. Had not this Eros stood in high repute among the bravest of peoples; was it not true that precisely through bravery he had flourished in their cities? Numerous war heroes of antiquity had willingly borne his yoke, for nothing was deemed a disgrace which the god imposed; and acts which would Have been rebuked as the sign of cowardice if they had been done for other purposes—prostrations, oaths, entreaties, abjectness—such things did not bring shame upon the lover, but rather he reaped praise for them.
Yet there were still moments of relief when he partly regained his senses. "Where to!" he would think, alarmed. "Where to!" Like any man whose talents spark an aristocratic interest in his ancestry, he was accustomed to think of his ancestors in relation to his own accomplishments and successes, reassuring himself of their approval, satisfaction, and undeniable respect. He thought of them now, caught up in such an illicit experience, involved in such exotic transgressions. He recalled their characteristic rigidity of principle, their strict masculinity—and he smiled sadly. What would they say? But then again, what would they have thought of his entire life, which had diverged almost completely from theirs, this life dominated by art—a life against which he had once mockingly rebelled out of loyalty to his fathers, yet which at its core had been so much like theirs! He too had served; he too had been a soldier and a warrior like many of them—for art was a war, a destructive battle, and these days, one couldn’t endure it for long. A life of self-conquest and defiance, a rigid, sober, and unyielding life that he had turned into a symbol of delicate yet timely heroism. He could indeed call it masculine or brave; it almost felt as though the Eros that controlled him was somehow particularly suited for such a life. Hadn’t this Eros been highly regarded among the bravest peoples? Wasn’t it true that through bravery, he had thrived in their cities? Many war heroes of antiquity had willingly accepted his influence, for nothing imposed by the god was considered disgraceful; and actions that would have been condemned as cowardly if done for other reasons—prostrations, oaths, pleas, servility—brought no shame to the lover; instead, he was praised for them.
In this way his infatuation determined the course of his thoughts, in this way he tried to uphold himself, to preserve his respect. But at the same time, selfish and calculating, he turned his attention to the unclean transactions here in Venice, this adventure of the outer world which conspired darkly with his own and which fed his passion with vague lawless hopes.
In this way, his obsession shaped his thoughts; he tried to maintain his dignity and self-respect. But at the same time, being selfish and strategic, he focused on the shady dealings happening in Venice, an adventure from the outside world that ominously intertwined with his own and fueled his desire with uncertain, rebellious dreams.
Bent on getting reliable news of the condition and progress of the pestilence, he ransacked the local papers in the city cafés, as they had been missing from the reading table of the hotel lobby for several days now. Statements alternated with disavowals. The number of the sick and dead was supposed to reach twenty, forty, or even a hundred and more—and immediately afterwards every instance of the plague would be either flatly denied or attributed to completely isolated cases which had crept in from the outside. There were scattered admonitions, protests against the dangerous conduct of foreign authorities. Certainty was impossible. Nevertheless the lone man felt especially entitled to participate in the secret; and although he was excluded, he derived a grotesque satisfaction from putting embarrassing questions to those who did know, and as they were pledged to silence, forcing them into deliberate lies. One day at breakfast in the large dining-hall he entered into a conversation with the manager, that softly-treading little man in the French frock coat who was moving amiably and solicitously about among the diners and had stopped at Aschenbach's table for a few passing words. Just why, the guest asked negligently and casually, had disinfectants become so prevalent in Venice recently? "It has to do," was the evasive answer, "with a police regulation, and is intended to prevent any inconveniences or disturbances to the public health which might result from the exceptionally warm and threatening weather." . . . "The police are to be congratulated," Aschenbach answered; and after the exchange of a few remarks on the weather, the manager left.
Determined to get accurate updates about the situation and spread of the disease, he searched through local newspapers in the city's cafés since they had been absent from the hotel's reading area for several days. News reports contradicted each other. The counts of the sick and dead varied wildly—some said twenty, others claimed forty, or even a hundred or more—and right after, every case of the plague would either be outright denied or connected to completely separate incidents that had come from elsewhere. There were scattered warnings and complaints about the reckless actions of foreign officials. Nothing felt certain. Still, the solitary man felt he had a right to be part of the hidden truth; and even though he was left out, he found a strange pleasure in asking uncomfortable questions to those who were in the know, and since they had to keep quiet, he forced them into telling outright lies. One day at breakfast in the large dining room, he struck up a conversation with the manager, a gentle little man in a French frock coat, who was moving around reassuringly among the diners and had paused at Aschenbach's table for a brief chat. Casually, the guest asked why disinfectants had become so common in Venice lately. "It's related," the manager replied evasively, "to a police regulation meant to prevent any public health issues that might arise from the unusually hot and threatening weather." . . . "The police deserve recognition," Aschenbach said, and after exchanging a few comments about the weather, the manager departed.
Yet that same day, in the evening, after dinner, it happened that a little band of strolling singers from the city gave a performance in the front garden of the hotel. Two men and two women, they stood by the iron post of an arc-lamp and turned their whitened faces up towards the large terrace where the guests were enjoying this folk-recital over their coffee and cooling drinks. The hotel personnel, bell boys, waiters, and clerks from the office, could be seen listening by the doors of the vestibule. The Russian family, eager and precise in their amusements, had had wicker chairs placed in the garden in order to be nearer the performers; and they were sitting here in an appreciative semi-circle. Behind the ladies and gentlemen, in her turban-like kerchief, stood the old slave.
Yet that same day, in the evening, after dinner, a small group of street performers from the city came to perform in the front garden of the hotel. Two men and two women stood by the iron post of a streetlamp, looking up at the large terrace where the guests enjoyed this folk recital over their coffee and drinks. Hotel staff, including bellboys, waiters, and front desk clerks, could be seen listening by the vestibule doors. The Russian family, eager and precise in their entertainment, had set up wicker chairs in the garden to be closer to the performers, and they sat in an appreciative semi-circle. Behind the ladies and gentlemen, in her turban-like scarf, stood the old servant.
Mandolin, guitar, harmonica, and a squeaky violin were responding to the touch of the virtuoso beggars. Instrumental numbers alternated with songs, as when the younger of the women, with a sharp trembling voice, joined with the sweetly falsetto tenor in a languishing love duet. But the real talent and leader of the group was undoubtedly the other of the two men, the one with the guitar. He was a kind of buffo baritone, with not much of a voice, although he did have a gift for pantomime, and a remarkable comic energy. Often, with his large instrument under his arm, he would leave the rest of the group and, still acting, would intrude on the platform, where his antics were rewarded with encouraging laughter. Especially the Russians in their seats down front seemed to be enchanted with so much southern mobility, and their applause incited him to let himself out more and more boldly and assertively.
The mandolin, guitar, harmonica, and a squeaky violin responded to the touch of the talented street performers. Instrumental pieces alternated with songs, like when the younger woman, with her sharp, trembling voice, joined the sweetly falsetto tenor in a longing love duet. But the real talent and leader of the group was definitely the other man, the one playing the guitar. He was a sort of buffo baritone, not having much of a voice, but he had a knack for pantomime and an impressive comic energy. Often, with his big instrument under his arm, he would step away from the rest of the group and, still performing, would take to the platform, where his antics earned him encouraging laughter. Especially the Russian audience members in the front row seemed to be captivated by his lively performance, and their applause encouraged him to express himself bolder and bolder.
Aschenbach sat on the balustrade, cooling his lips now and then with a mixture of pomegranate juice and soda which glowed ruby red in his glass in front of him. His nerves took in the miserable notes, the vulgar crooning melodies; for passion lames the sense of discrimination, and surrenders in all seriousness to appeals which, in sober moments, are either humorously allowed for or rejected with annoyance. At the clown's antics his features bad twisted into a set painful smile. He sat there relaxed, although inwardly he was intensely awake; for six paces from him Tadzio was leaning against the stone hand-rail.
Aschenbach sat on the railing, occasionally cooling his lips with a mix of pomegranate juice and soda that sparkled ruby red in the glass in front of him. His senses absorbed the annoying notes and the cheesy, off-key melodies; because passion dulls one’s ability to judge, he found himself seriously responding to appeals that, in clearer moments, would either be humorously acknowledged or dismissed with irritation. Watching the clown's antics, his face contorted into a painful smile. He sat there relaxed, even though inside, he was alert; just six paces away, Tadzio leaned against the stone railing.
In the white belted coat which he often wore at meal times, he was standing in a position of spontaneous and inborn gracefulness, his left forearm on the railing, feet crossed, the right hand on a supporting hip; and he looked down at the street-singers with an expression which was hardly a smile, but only an aloof curiosity, a polite amiability. Often he would stand erect and, expanding his chest, would draw the white smock down under his leather belt with a beautiful gesture. And then too, the aging man observed with a tumult of fright and triumph how he would often turn his head over the left shoulder in the direction of his admirer, carefully and hesitatingly, or even with abruptness as though to attack by surprise. He did not meet Aschenbach's eyes, for a mean precaution compelled the transgressor to keep from staring at him: in the background of the terrace the women who guarded Tadzio were sitting, and things had reached a point where the lover had to fear that he might be noticed and suspected. Yes, he had often observed with a kind of numbness how, when Tadzio was near him, on the beach, in the hotel lobby, in the Piazza San Marco, they called him back, they were set on keeping him at a distance—and this wounded him frightfully, causing his pride unknown tortures which his conscience would not permit him to evade.
In the white belted coat he often wore during meals, he stood with an effortless and natural grace, his left forearm on the railing, feet crossed, right hand resting on his hip; he looked down at the street singers with an expression that was barely a smile, marked by detached curiosity and polite friendliness. Often, he would stand tall, puffing out his chest, pulling the white smock down over his leather belt with an elegant motion. The older man watched, feeling a mix of fear and triumph, as Tadzio would frequently turn his head over his left shoulder toward him, either cautiously and hesitantly or suddenly, almost as if ready to spring into action. He didn’t meet Aschenbach's gaze, as a petty instinct kept him from staring: the women who were watching over Tadzio sat in the background of the terrace, and it had come to a point where he feared that he might draw attention and raise suspicion. Yes, he often felt a strange numbness as he noticed that when Tadzio was close—whether on the beach, in the hotel lobby, or in the Piazza San Marco—they would call him back, determined to keep him at a distance—and this hurt him deeply, inflicting unknown tortures on his pride that his conscience wouldn't let him escape.
Meanwhile the guitar-player had begun a solo to his own accompaniment, a street-ballad popular throughout Italy. It had several strophes, and the entire company joined each time in the refrain, all singing and playing, while he managed to give a plastic and dramatic twist to the performance. Of slight build, with thin and impoverished features, he stood on the gravel, apart from his companions, in an attitude of insolent bravado, his shabby felt hat on the back of his head so that a bunch of his red hair jutted out from under the brim. And to the thrumming of the strings he flung his jokes up at the terrace in a penetrating recitative; while the veins were swelling on his forehead from the exertion of his performance. He did not seem of Venetian stock, but rather of the race of Neapolitan comedians, half pimp, half entertainer, brutal and audacious, dangerous and amusing. His song was stupid enough so far as the words went; but in his mouth, by his gestures, the movements of his body, his way of blinking significantly and letting the tongue play across his lips, it acquired something ambiguous, something vaguely repulsive. In addition to the customary civilian dress, he was wearing a sport shirt; and his skinny neck protruded above the soft collar, baring a noticeably large and active Adam's-apple. He was pale and snub-nosed. It was hard to fix an age to his beardless features, which seemed furrowed with grimaces and depravity; and the two wrinkles standing arrogantly, harshly, almost savagely between his reddish eyebrows were strangely suited to the smirk on his mobile lips. Yet what really prompted the lonely man to pay him keen attention was the observation that the questionable figure seemed also to provide its own questionable atmosphere. For each time they came to the refrain the singer, amid buffoonery and familiar handshakes, began a grotesque circular march which brought him immediately beneath Aschenbach's place; and each time this happened there blew up to the terrace from his clothes and body a strong carbolic smell.
Meanwhile, the guitarist started a solo to accompany himself, singing a street ballad that's popular all over Italy. It had several verses, and the whole group joined in on the refrain each time, all singing and playing together as he added a dramatic flair to his performance. He was slight, with thin and worn features, standing on the gravel away from his friends, exuding a bold kind of defiance, with his shabby felt hat pushed back so that a tuft of his red hair stuck out from under the brim. To the sound of the guitar strings, he directed his jokes towards the terrace in an expressive recitative, veins bulging on his forehead from the effort. He didn’t look like a typical Venetian; instead, he seemed more like one of those Neapolitan performers, part hustler, part entertainer—rough, daring, a mix of danger and humor. His song wasn't clever, words-wise; but with his gestures, body movements, knowing glances, and the way his tongue flicked across his lips, it took on a strange, vaguely off-putting quality. Besides wearing typical civilian clothes, he had on a sport shirt, and his skinny neck jutted out above the soft collar, revealing a notably large and prominent Adam's apple. His complexion was pale, and he had a snub nose. It was hard to determine his age; his face was beardless, lined with grimaces and hints of depravity, and the two deep wrinkles that stood out between his reddish eyebrows oddly matched the smirk on his expressive lips. What really caught the solitary man's attention, though, was how this dubious character seemed to exude a questionable vibe of his own. Every time they reached the refrain, the singer, in a comical display filled with familiar gestures, began a grotesque circular dance that brought him right under Aschenbach's spot; and each time this happened, a strong smell of carbolic wafted up from his clothes and body to the terrace.
After the song was ended, he began collecting money. He started with the Russians, who were evidently willing to spend, and then came up the stairs. Up here he showed himself just as humble as he had been bold during the performance. Cringing and bowing, he stole about among the tables, and a smile of obsequious cunning exposed his strong teeth, while the two wrinkles still stood ominously between his red eyebrows. This singular character collecting money to live on—they eyed him with a curiosity and a kind of repugnance, they tossed coins into his felt hat with the tips of their fingers, and were careful not to touch him. The elimination of the physical distance between the comedian and the audience, no matter how great the enjoyment may have been, always causes a certain uneasiness. He felt it, and tried to excuse it by grovelling. He came up to Aschenbach, and along with him the smell, which no one else seemed concerned about.
After the song ended, he started collecting money. He began with the Russians, who clearly were willing to spend, and then made his way up the stairs. Once up here, he was just as humble as he had been bold during the performance. Cringing and bowing, he moved among the tables, a cunning smile revealing his strong teeth, while two wrinkles ominously hung between his red eyebrows. This strange character collecting money to survive drew curious yet repelled looks; people tossed coins into his felt hat with their fingertips, careful not to make physical contact. The breakdown of the space between the comedian and the audience, regardless of how much they enjoyed it, always creates a sense of discomfort. He sensed it and tried to smooth things over by being submissive. He approached Aschenbach, bringing with him an unpleasant smell that no one else seemed to notice.
"Listen!" the recluse said in an undertone, almost mechanically. "They are disinfecting Venice. Why?" The jester answered hoarsely, "On account of the police. That is a precaution, sir, with such heat, and the sirocco. The sirocco is oppressive. It is not good for the health." He spoke as though astonished that any one could ask such things, and demonstrated with his open hand how oppressive the sirocco was. "Then there is no plague in Venice?" Aschenbach asked quietly, between his teeth. The clown's muscular features fell into a grimace of comical embarrassment. "A plague? What kind of plague? Perhaps our police are a plague? You like to joke! A plague! Of all things! A precautionary measure, you understand! A police regulation against the effects of the oppressive weather." He gesticulated. "Very well," Aschenbach said several times curtly and quietly; and he quickly dropped an unduly large coin into the hat. Then with his eyes he signalled the man to leave. He obeyed, smirking and bowing. But he had not reached the stairs before two hotel employees threw themselves upon him, and with their faces close to his began a whispered cross-examination. He shrugged his shoulders; he gave assurances, he swore that he had kept quiet—that was evident. He was released, and he returned to the garden; then after a short conference with his companions, he stepped out once more for a final song of thanks and leave-taking.
"Listen!" the recluse said in a low voice, almost mechanically. "They’re disinfecting Venice. Why?" The jester replied hoarsely, "It’s because of the police. It's a precaution, sir, with this heat and the sirocco. The sirocco is stifling. It's not good for your health." He sounded surprised that anyone would ask such things, and he demonstrated with his open hand just how stifling the sirocco was. "So there’s no plague in Venice?" Aschenbach asked quietly, through clenched teeth. The clown’s strong features twisted into a comical grimace of embarrassment. "A plague? What kind of plague? Maybe our police are a plague? You like to joke! A plague! Can you believe it? Just a precaution, you see! A police rule against the effects of the stifling weather." He gestured widely. "Alright," Aschenbach said several times, curtly and quietly; then he quickly dropped an overly large coin into the hat. He signaled with his eyes for the man to leave. The jester complied, smirking and bowing. But he hadn’t even reached the stairs when two hotel staff members ambushed him, whispering and questioning him closely. He shrugged his shoulders; he gave assurances, swore he’d kept quiet—that was obvious. He was let go, and he went back to the garden; after a brief discussion with his companions, he stepped out again for a final song of thanks and goodbye.
It was a rousing song which the recluse never recalled having heard before, a "big number" in incomprehensible dialect, with a laugh refrain in which the troupe joined regularly at the tops of their voices. At this point both the words and the accompaniment of the instruments stopped, with nothing left but a laugh which was somehow arranged rhythmically although very naturally done—and the soloist especially showed great talent in giving it a most deceptive vitality. At the renewal of his professional distance from the audience he had recovered all his boldness again, and the artificial laugh that he directed up towards the terrace was derisive. Even before the end of the articulate portion of the strophe, he seemed to struggle against an irresistible tickling. He gulped, his voice trembled, he pressed his hand over his mouth, he contorted his shoulders; and at the proper moment the ungovernable laugh broke out of him, burst into such real cackles that it was infectious and communicated itself to the audience, so that on the terrace also an unfounded hilarity, living off itself alone, started up. But this seemed to double the singer's exuberance. He bent his knees, he slapped his thighs, he nearly split himself; he no longer laughed, he shrieked. He pointed up with his finger, as though nothing were more comic than the laughing guests there, and finally everyone in the garden and on the verandah was laughing, even to the waiters, bell boys, and house-servants in the doorways.
It was an energetic song that the recluse couldn’t remember hearing before, a "big number" in a confusing dialect, featuring a laugh-filled refrain that the group joined in on at the top of their lungs. At this moment, both the words and the music faded, leaving only a laugh that was somehow rhythmically arranged but felt very natural—and the soloist, in particular, had a real talent for making it seem vibrantly alive. When he stepped back into his professional role with the audience, he regained all his confidence, and the fake laugh he sent up toward the terrace was mocking. Even before he finished the sung part of the verse, he struggled against an uncontrollable tickle. He swallowed, his voice quivered, he covered his mouth with his hand, and his shoulders twisted; at just the right moment, an uncontrolled laugh burst out of him, erupting into such genuine cackles that it was contagious and spread to the audience, so that on the terrace, a baseless hilarity sprang up on its own. This seemed to fuel the singer’s exuberance even more. He bent his knees, slapped his thighs, and almost lost it; he no longer laughed, he shrieked. He pointed up with his finger, as if nothing was funnier than the laughing guests up there, and eventually everyone in the garden and on the veranda was laughing, including the waiters, bellboys, and house staff in the doorways.
Aschenbach was no longer resting in his chair; he sat upright, as if attempting to defend himself, or to escape. But the laughter, the whiffs of the hospital smell, and the boy's nearness combined to put him into a trance that held his mind and his senses hopelessly captive. In the general movement and distraction he ventured to glance across at Tadzio, and as he did so he dared observe that the boy, in reply to his glance, was equally serious, much as though he had modelled his conduct and expression after those of one man, and the prevalent mood had no effect on him since this one man was not part of it. This portentous childish obedience had something so disarming and overpowering about it that the grey-haired man could hardly restrain himself from burying his face in his hands. It had also seemed to him that Tadzio's occasional stretching and quick breathing indicated a complaint, a congestion, of the lungs. "He is sickly, he will probably not grow old," he thought repeatedly with that positiveness which is often a peculiar relief to desire and passion. And along with pure solitude he had a feeling of rakish gratification.
Aschenbach was no longer lounging in his chair; he was sitting up straight, as if trying to defend himself or escape. But the laughter, the faint hospital smell, and the boy's closeness combined to put him into a trance that completely captured his mind and senses. In the midst of the general movement and distraction, he dared to steal a glance at Tadzio, and as he did, he noticed that the boy, in response to his gaze, appeared equally serious, almost as if he had modeled his behavior and expression after that of one man. The overall mood around him seemed to have no effect since this one man was not part of it. This heavy, childlike obedience was so disarming and overwhelming that the older man could barely hold back the urge to bury his face in his hands. He also thought that Tadzio's occasional stretching and quickened breathing suggested some kind of ailment, possibly a lung issue. "He's frail; he probably won’t live to grow old," he thought repeatedly, feeling a strange sense of relief that often accompanies desire and passion. Along with his pure solitude, he felt a sense of reckless satisfaction.
Meanwhile the Venetians had ended and were leaving. Applause accompanied them, and their leader did not miss the opportunity to cover his retreat with further jests. His bows, the kisses he blew, were laughed at—and so he doubled them. When his companions were already gone, he acted as though he had hurt himself by backing into a lamp-post, and he crept through the gate seemingly crippled with pain. Then he suddenly threw off the mask of comic hard luck, stood upright, hurried away jauntily, stuck out his tongue insolently at the guests on the terrace, and slipped into the darkness. The company was breaking up; Tadzio had been missing from the balustrade for some time. But, to the displeasure of the waiters, the lonely man sat for a long while over the remains of his pomegranate drink. Night advanced. Time was crumbling. In the house of his parents many years back there had been an hour glass—of a sudden he saw the fragile and expressive instrument again, as though it were standing in front of him. Fine and noiseless the rust-red sand was running through the glass neck; and since it was getting low in the upper half, a speedy little vortex had been formed there.
Meanwhile, the Venetians had finished and were leaving. Applause followed them, and their leader took the chance to make even more jokes as he exited. His bows and the kisses he blew were met with laughter—and so he exaggerated them. Once his companions were gone, he pretended to hurt himself by bumping into a lamp post, and he limped through the gate as if he were in great pain. Then he suddenly dropped the act, stood up straight, skipped away cheerfully, stuck his tongue out mockingly at the guests on the terrace, and vanished into the darkness. The gathering was breaking up; Tadzio had been absent from the balustrade for a while. But, to the annoyance of the waiters, the solitary man lingered for a long time over the remnants of his pomegranate drink. Night was falling. Time was slipping away. In his parents’ house many years ago, there had been an hourglass—suddenly, he saw that delicate and expressive device as if it were right in front of him. The fine, rust-red sand flowed silently through the glass neck; and since it was getting low in the upper half, a quick little whirlpool had formed there.
As early as the following day, in the afternoon, he had made new progress in his obstinate baiting of the people he met—and this time he had all possible success. He walked from the Piazza of St. Mark's into the English travelling bureau located there; and after changing some money at the cash desk, he put on the expression of a distrustful foreigner and launched his fatal question at the attendant clerk. He was a Britisher; he wore a woollen suit, and was still young, with close-set eyes, and had that characteristic stolid reliability which is so peculiarly and strikingly appealing in the tricky, nimble-witted South. He began, "No reason for alarm, sir. A regulation without any serious significance. Such measures are often taken to anticipate the unhealthy effects of the heat and the sirocco . . ." But as he raised his blue eyes, he met the stare of the foreigner, a tired and somewhat unhappy stare focussed on his lips with a touch of scorn. Then the Englishman blushed. "At least," he continued in an emotional undertone, "that is the official explanation which people here are content to accept. I will admit that there is something more behind it." And then in his frank and leisurely manner he told the truth.
As early as the next afternoon, he had made new strides in his persistent teasing of the people he encountered—and this time he was completely successful. He walked from the Piazza of St. Mark's into the English travel agency located there; and after exchanging some money at the counter, he put on the expression of a suspicious foreigner and shot his pointed question at the clerk. The clerk was British, dressed in a wool suit, still young with close-set eyes, and had that dependable, solid demeanor that’s particularly appealing in the clever, quick-witted South. He began, "No cause for alarm, sir. Just a regulation with little importance. Such measures are often taken to prevent the negative effects of the heat and the sirocco . . ." But as he raised his blue eyes, he encountered the gaze of the foreigner, who looked tired and a bit unhappy, focusing on his lips with a hint of disdain. The Englishman then blushed. "At least," he continued in a low, emotional tone, "that's the official reason people here are willing to accept. I admit there's more to it than that." And then, in his straightforward and relaxed manner, he revealed the truth.
For several years now Indian cholera had shown a heightened tendency to spread and migrate. Hatched in the warm swamps of the Ganges delta, rising with the noxious breath of that luxuriant, unfit primitive world and island wilderness which is shunned by humans and where the tiger crouches in the bamboo thickets, the plague had raged continuously and with unusual strength in Hindustan, had reached eastwards to China, westwards to Afghanistan and Persia, and following the chief caravan routes, had carried its terrors to Astrachan, and even to Moscow. But while Europe was trembling lest the spectre continue its advance from there across the country, it had been transported over the sea by Syrian merchantmen, and had turned up almost simultaneously in several Mediterranean ports, had raised its head in Toulon and Malaga, had showed its mask several times in Palermo and Naples, and seemed permanently entrenched through Calabria and Apulia. The north of the peninsula had been spared. Yet in the middle of this May in Venice the frightful vibrions were found on one and the same day in the blackish wasted bodies of a cabin boy and a woman who sold greengroceries. The cases were kept secret. But within a week there were ten, twenty, thirty more, and in various sections. A man from the Austrian provinces who had made a pleasure trip to Venice for a few days, returned to his home town and died with unmistakable symptoms—and that is how the first reports of the pestilence in the lagoon city got into the German newspapers. The Venetian authorities answered that the city's health conditions had never been better, and took the most necessary preventive measures. But probably the food supply had been infected. Denied and glossed over, death was eating its way along the narrow streets, and its dissemination was especially favoured by the premature summer heat which made the water of the canals lukewarm. Yes, it seemed as though the plague had got renewed strength, as though the tenacity and fruitfulness of its stimuli had doubled. Cases of recovery were rare. Out of a hundred attacks, eighty were fatal, and in the most horrible manner. For the plague moved with utter savagery, and often showed that most dangerous form, which is called "the drying." Water from the blood vessels collected in pockets, and the blood was unable to carry this off. Within a few hours the victim was parched, his blood became as thick as glue, and he stifled amid cramps and hoarse groans. Lucky for him if, as sometimes happened, the attack took the form of a light discomfiture followed by a profound coma from which he seldom or never awakened. At the beginning of June the pesthouse of the Ospedale Civico had quietly filled; there was not much room left in the two orphan asylums, and a frightfully active commerce was kept up between the wharf of the Fondamenta Nuove and San Michele, the burial island. But there was the fear of a general drop in prosperity. The recently opened art exhibit in the public gardens was to be considered, along with the heavy losses which in case of panic or unfavourable rumours, would threaten business, the hotels, the entire elaborate system for exploiting foreigners—and as these considerations evidently carried more weight than love of truth or respect for international agreements, the city authorities upheld obstinately their policy of silence and denial. The chief health officer had resigned from his post in indignation, and been promptly replaced by a more tractable personality. The people knew this; and the corruption of their superiors, together with the predominating insecurity, the exceptional condition into which the prevalence of death had plunged the city, induced a certain demoralization of the lower classes, encouraging shady and anti-social impulses which manifested themselves in licence, profligacy, and a rising crime wave. Contrary to custom, many drunkards were seen in the evenings; it was said that at night nasty mobs made the streets unsafe. Burglaries and even murders became frequent, for it had already been proved on two occasions that persons who had presumably fallen victim to the plague had in reality been dispatched with poison by their own relatives. And professional debauchery assumed abnormal and obtrusive proportions such as had never been known here before, and to an extent which is usually found only in the southern parts of the country and in the Orient.
For several years, cholera in India has been spreading more easily and traveling farther. Starting in the warm swamps of the Ganges delta, it arose with the toxic air of that lush, inhospitable land and wilderness that people avoid, where tigers hide in the bamboo thickets. The plague has raged on relentlessly and with unusual strength across India, reaching east to China, west to Afghanistan and Persia, and following major trade routes, it has spread its horrors to Astrachan and even Moscow. While Europe was panicking, fearing the specter would continue its advance, it was carried by Syrian merchant ships across the sea and appeared almost simultaneously in several Mediterranean ports, emerging in Toulon and Malaga, making multiple appearances in Palermo and Naples, and seemed to have taken root in Calabria and Apulia. The northern part of the peninsula was spared. Yet, in mid-May in Venice, the terrifying bacteria were discovered on the same day in the emaciated bodies of a cabin boy and a woman selling vegetables. These cases were kept hushed. But within a week, there were ten, twenty, thirty more cases from different areas. A man from the Austrian provinces who took a short holiday in Venice returned home and died with clear symptoms—and that’s how the first reports of the plague in the lagoon city made their way into German newspapers. The Venetian authorities insisted that the city’s health conditions had never been better and implemented some necessary preventive measures. But the food supply was likely contaminated. Denied and downplayed, death was working its way through the narrow streets, and its spread was especially encouraged by the early summer heat making the canal water lukewarm. It seemed as if the plague had regained strength, as if the persistence and fertility of its triggers had doubled. Recoveries were rare. Out of every hundred cases, eighty were fatal, and in dreadful ways. The plague struck savagely and often displayed its most dangerous form known as "the drying." Fluid from the blood vessels gathered in pockets, and the blood couldn’t remove it. Within a few hours, the victim was dehydrated, their blood thick as glue, and they writhed in pain amid hoarse groans. They were lucky if, as sometimes happened, the attack felt more like a mild discomfort followed by a deep coma from which they rarely or never woke up. By early June, the pesthouse at the Ospedale Civico had quietly filled up; the two orphan asylums had little room left, and there was a grimly busy trade between the wharf at Fondamenta Nuove and San Michele, the burial island. But there was fear of a general decline in prosperity. The recently opened art exhibit in the public gardens had to be considered, along with the heavy losses that would threaten businesses, hotels, and the whole complex system for profiting from tourists if panic or bad rumors spread. Since these considerations seemed to matter more than truth or respect for international agreements, the city authorities clung stubbornly to their policy of silence and denial. The chief health officer had resigned in protest and was quickly replaced by someone more compliant. The public was aware of this; the corruption of their leaders, combined with the prevailing insecurity and the exceptional situation caused by the spread of death, led to a demoralization of the lower classes that encouraged shady and anti-social behavior manifesting as indulgence, promiscuity, and a rise in crime. Contrary to tradition, many drunks were seen in the evenings; reports mentioned that at night, rowdy mobs made the streets dangerous. Burglaries and even murders became common, as it had already been proven on two occasions that people who were thought to have succumbed to the plague had actually been poisoned by their own relatives. And professional vice took on abnormal and conspicuous levels unseen here before, reaching an extent usually found only in the southern regions and the Orient.
The Englishman pronounced the final verdict on these facts. "You would do well," he concluded, "to leave to-day rather than to-morrow. It cannot be much more than a couple of days before a quarantine zone is declared." "Thank you," Aschenbach said, and left the office.
The Englishman delivered the final judgment on these facts. "You should really leave today instead of tomorrow," he concluded. "It won't be long before they declare a quarantine zone." "Thank you," Aschenbach said, and exited the office.
The square lay sunless and stifling. Unsuspecting foreigners sat in front of the cafés, or stood among the pigeons in front of the church and watched the swarms of birds flapping their wings, crowding one another, and pecking at grains of corn offered them in open palms. The recluse was feverishly excited, triumphant in his possession of the truth. But it had left him with a bad taste in his mouth, and a weird horror in his heart. As he walked up and down the flagstones of the gorgeous court he was weighing an action which would meet the situation and would absolve him. This evening after dinner he could approach the woman with the pearls and make her a speech; he had figured it out word for word: "Permit a foreigner, madam, to give you some useful advice, a warning, which is being withheld from you through self-interest. Leave immediately with Tadzio and your daughters! Venice is full of the plague." Then he could lay a farewell hand on the head of this tool of a mocking divinity, turn away, and flee this morass. But he felt at the same time that he was very far from seriously desiring such a move. He would retract it, would disengage himself from it. . . . But when we are distracted we loathe most the thought of retracing our steps. He recalled a white building, ornamented with inscriptions which glistened in the evening and in whose transparent mysticism his mind's eye had lost itself—and then that strange wanderer's form which had awakened in the aging man the roving hankerings of youth after the foreign and the remote. And the thought of return, the thought of prudence and soberness, effort, mastery, disgusted him to such an extent that his face was distorted with an expression of physical nausea. "It must be kept silent!" he whispered heavily. And: "I will keep silent!" The consciousness of his share in the facts and the guilt intoxicated him, much as a little wine intoxicates a tired brain. The picture of the diseased and neglected city hovering desolately before him aroused vague hopes beyond the bounds of reason, but with an egregious sweetness. What was the scant happiness he had dreamed of a moment ago, compared with these expectations? What were art and virtue worth to him, over against the advantages of chaos? He kept silent, and remained in Venice.
The square was dark and stifling. Unwary tourists sat outside the cafés or stood among the pigeons in front of the church, watching the flocks of birds flapping their wings, crowding each other, and pecking at the corn offered to them in open hands. The recluse felt feverishly excited, triumphant in his grasp of the truth. But it left him with a bad taste in his mouth and a strange horror in his heart. As he paced the lovely courtyard, he was weighing an action that would address the situation and absolve him. That evening, after dinner, he could approach the woman with the pearls and give her a speech he had figured out word for word: “Excuse me, madam, but allow a foreigner to offer you some useful advice, a warning that is being kept from you for selfish reasons. Leave immediately with Tadzio and your daughters! Venice is full of the plague.” He could then put a farewell hand on the head of this tool of a mocking divinity, turn away, and flee this mess. But at the same time, he felt very far from wanting to take such a step. He would pull back, detach himself from it... But when we are distracted, we often hate the thought of backtracking the most. He recalled a white building, adorned with glistening inscriptions in the evening light, and in its transparent mystique, his mind had lost itself—and then that strange wanderer's form had stirred in the aging man the restless desires of youth for the foreign and distant. The thought of returning, of caution and restraint, of struggle and control, disgusted him so deeply that his face twisted with physical nausea. “It must be kept silent!” he whispered heavily. And: “I will keep silent!” The awareness of his involvement in the facts and the guilt intoxicated him, much like a little wine intoxicates a tired mind. The image of the diseased and neglected city loomed sorrowfully before him, stirring vague hopes beyond reason, yet with a bizarre sweetness. What was the little happiness he had dreamed of just a moment ago, compared to these expectations? What were art and virtue worth to him, in comparison to the advantages of chaos? He stayed silent and remained in Venice.
This same night he had a frightful dream, if one can designate as a dream a bodily and mental experience which occurred to him in the deepest sleep, completely independent of him, and with a physical realness, although he never saw himself present or moving about among the incidents; but their stage rather was his soul itself, and they broke in from without, trampling down his resistance—a profound and spiritual resistance—by sheer force; and when they had passed through, they left his substance, the culture of his lifetime, crushed and annihilated behind them.
This same night, he had a terrifying dream. If you can even call it a dream, since it was a physical and mental experience that happened to him while he was in a deep sleep, completely outside of his control. It felt so real, even though he never saw himself there or moving through the events; instead, it was his soul that served as the stage, and these experiences overwhelmed him, breaking through his defenses—his deep and spiritual resistance—by sheer force. Once they had passed, they left his essence, the culmination of his life’s work, shattered and destroyed in their wake.
It began with anguish, anguish and desire, and a frightened curiosity as to what was coming. It was night, and his senses were on the watch. From far off a grumble, an uproar, was approaching, a jumble of noises. Clanking, blaring, and dull thunder, with shrill shouts and a definite whine in a long drawn out u-sound—all this was sweetly, ominously interspersed and dominated by the deep cooing of wickedly persistent flutes which charmed the bowels in a shamelessly penetrative manner. But he knew one word; it was veiled, and yet would name what was approaching: "The foreign god!" Vaporous fire began to glow; then he recognized mountains like those about his summer house. And in the scattered light, from high up in the woods, among tree trunks and crumbling moss-grown rocks—people, beasts, a throng, a raging mob plunged twisting and whirling downwards, and made the hill swarm with bodies, flames, tumult, and a riotous round dance. Women, tripped by over-long fur draperies which hung from their waists, were holding up tambourines and beating on them, their groaning heads flung back. Others swung sparking firebrands and bare daggers, or wore hissing snakes about the middle of their bodies, or shrieking held their breasts in their two hands. Men with horns on their foreheads, shaggy-haired, girded with hides, bent back their necks and raised their arms and thighs, clashed brass cymbals and beat furiously at kettledrums, while smooth boys prodded he-goats with wreathed sticks, climbing on their horns and falling off with shouts when they bounded. And the bacchantes wailed the word with the soft consonants and the drawn out u-sound, at once sweet and savage, like nothing ever heard before. In one place it rang out as though piped into the air by stags, and it was echoed in another by many voices, in wild triumph—with it they incited one another to dance and to fling out their arms and legs, and it was never silent. But everything was pierced and dominated by the deep coaxing flute. He who was fighting against this experience—did it not coax him too with its shameless penetration, into the feast and the excesses of the extreme sacrifice? His repugnance, his fear, were keen—he was honourably set on defending himself to the very last against the barbarian, the foe to intellectual poise and dignity. But the noise, the howling, multiplied by the resonant walls of the hills, grew, took the upper hand, swelled to a fury of rapture. Odours oppressed the senses, the pungent smell of the bucks, the scent of moist bodies, and a waft of stagnant water, with another smell, something familiar, the smell of wounds and prevalent disease. At the beating of the drum his heart fluttered, his head was spinning, he was caught in a frenzy, in a blinding deafening lewdness—and he yearned to join the ranks of the god. The obscene symbol, huge, wooden, was uncovered and raised up; then they howled the magic word with more abandon. Foaming at the mouth, they raged, teased one another with ruttish gestures and caressing hands; laughing and groaning, they stuck the goads into one another's flesh and licked the blood from their limbs. But the dreamer now was with them, in them, and he belonged to the foreign god. Yes, they were he himself, as they hurled themselves biting and tearing upon the animals, got entangled in steaming rags, and fell in promiscuous unions on the torn moss, in sacrifice to their god. And his soul tasted the unchastity and fury of decay.
It started with pain, pain and desire, and a scared curiosity about what was coming. It was night, and his senses were alert. From far away, a grumble, a commotion, was getting closer, a mix of noises. Clanking, blaring, and low rumbling, with sharp shouts and a distinct whine in a prolonged u-sound—all this was sweetly, ominously mixed and dominated by the deep, seductive sound of persistent flutes that shamelessly captivated him. But he knew one word; it was hidden, yet it would name what was coming: "The foreign god!" A strange fire began to glow; then he recognized mountains like those near his summer home. In the scattered light, from high up in the woods, among tree trunks and crumbling moss-covered rocks—people, animals, a crowd, a raging mob plunged downwards, filling the hill with bodies, flames, chaos, and a wild dance. Women, tripped up by long fur drapes hanging from their waists, held tambourines and pounded on them, their heads thrown back in ecstasy. Others swung sparking torches and bare daggers, wore hissing snakes around their waists, or shrieked as they held their breasts with both hands. Men with horns on their foreheads, shaggy-haired, dressed in hides, arched their backs and raised their arms and legs, clashing brass cymbals and pounding on drums, while smooth boys prodded he-goats with twisted sticks, climbing on their horns and tumbling off with shouts when the goats leaped. And the bacchantes wailed the word with soft consonants and the drawn-out u-sound, both sweet and savage, like nothing he'd ever heard. In one spot, it rang out as if it were being piped into the air by stags, and it was echoed elsewhere by many voices, in wild triumph—encouraging one another to dance and stretch out their arms and legs, and it was never silent. But everything was pierced and governed by the deep, coaxing flute. He who was resisting this experience—didn’t it also tempt him with its shameless allure, into the feast and the excesses of extreme sacrifice? His repulsion, his fear, were sharp—he was determined to defend himself against the barbarian, the enemy of intellectual balance and dignity. But the noise, the howling, amplified by the resonant walls of the hills, grew, took control, swelled to a frenzy of bliss. Scents overwhelmed the senses, the strong smell of the bucks, the scent of damp bodies, and a whiff of stagnant water, mixed with another, something familiar, the smell of wounds and a lingering illness. At the beat of the drum, his heart raced, his head spun; he was caught in a frenzy, in a blinding, deafening lust—and he longed to join the god's ranks. The obscene symbol, large and wooden, was unveiled and raised; then they howled the magic word with even more abandon. Foaming at the mouth, they raged, teased one another with lewd gestures and caressing hands; laughing and groaning, they poked each other with sharp objects and licked the blood from their limbs. But the dreamer was now with them, in them, and he was part of the foreign god. Yes, they were him, as they hurled themselves biting and tearing into the animals, got tangled in steaming rags, and collapsed in promiscuous unions on the torn moss, in sacrifice to their god. And his soul tasted the depravity and fury of decay.
When he awakened from the affliction of this dream he was unnerved, shattered, and hopelessly under the power of the demon. He no longer avoided the inquisitive glances of other people; he did not care if he was exciting their suspicions. And as a matter of fact they were fleeing, travelling elsewhere. Numerous bathing houses stood empty, the occupants of the dining-hall became more and more scattered, and in the city now one rarely saw a foreigner. The truth seemed to have leaked out; the panic, despite the reticence of those whose interests were involved, seemed no longer avoidable. But the woman with the pearls remained with her family, either because the rumours had not yet reached her, or because she was too proud and fearless to heed them. Tadzio remained. And to Aschenbach, in his infatuation, it seemed at times as though flight and death might remove all the disturbing elements of life around them, and he stay here alone with the boy. Yes, by the sea in the forenoon when his eyes rested heavily, irresponsibly, unwaveringly on the thing he coveted, or when, as the day was ending, he followed shamelessly after him through streets where the hideous death lurked in secret—at such times the atrocious seemed to him rich in possibilities, and laws of morality had dropped away.
When he woke up from the nightmare, he was shaken, broken, and completely under the influence of the demon. He no longer avoided the curious stares of others; he didn’t care if he aroused their suspicions. In fact, people were leaving, going somewhere else. Many of the bathing houses were empty, the diners were becoming more scattered, and now it was rare to see a foreigner in the city. The truth seemed to have gotten out; panic, despite the silence of those with vested interests, seemed unavoidable. Yet the woman with the pearls stayed with her family, either because she hadn’t heard the rumors yet, or because she was too proud and fearless to pay them any attention. Tadzio stayed. And to Aschenbach, in his obsession, it sometimes felt like fleeing and death could wipe away all the troubling aspects of life surrounding them, and he could be alone here with the boy. Yes, by the sea in the morning when his eyes lingered heavily, irresponsibly, unflinchingly on what he desired, or when, as the day ended, he followed him shamelessly through streets where horrifying death lurked unseen—at those moments, the dreadful seemed full of potential, and moral laws had faded away.
Like any lover, he wanted to please; and he felt a bitter anguish lest it might not be possible. He added bright youthful details to his dress, he put on jewels, and used perfumes. During the day he often spent much time over his toilet, and came to the table strikingly dressed, excited, and in suspense. In the light of the sweet youthfulness which had done this to him, he detested his aging body. The sight of his grey hair, his sharp features, plunged him into shame and hopelessness. It induced him to attempt rejuvenating his body and appearance. He often visited the hotel barber.
Like any lover, he wanted to make a good impression, and he felt a deep anxiety about whether he could. He added bright, youthful touches to his outfits, wore jewelry, and applied cologne. During the day, he often spent a lot of time getting ready and showed up to meals looking striking, excited, and nervous. In the brightness of the youthful spirit that transformed him, he loathed his aging body. The sight of his gray hair and sharp features left him feeling ashamed and hopeless. It pushed him to try to rejuvenate his body and appearance. He often visited the hotel barber.
Beneath the barber's apron, leaning back in the chair under the gossiper's expert hands, he winced to observe his reflection in the mirror.
Beneath the barber's apron, leaning back in the chair under the gossiping expert's hands, he flinched at his reflection in the mirror.
"Grey," he said, making a wry face.
"Grey," he said, making a twisted face.
"A little," the man answered. "Due entirely to a slight neglect, an indifference to outward things, which is conceivable in people of importance, but it is not exactly praiseworthy. And all the less so since such persons are above prejudice in matters of nature or art. If the moral objections of certain people to the art of cosmetics were to be logically extended to the care of the teeth, they would give no slight offence. And after all, we are just as old as we feel, and under some circumstances grey hair would actually stand for more of an untruth than the despised correction. In your case, sir, you are entitled to the natural colour of your hair. Will you permit me simply to return what belongs to you?"
"A little," the man replied. "It's mainly due to a bit of neglect, an indifference to appearances, which is understandable in important people, but it's not exactly admirable. Even more so because such individuals should be beyond prejudice when it comes to nature or art. If some people's moral objections to cosmetic art were to be applied logically to dental care, they would be quite offended. Ultimately, we are as old as we feel, and in some cases, gray hair could actually represent more dishonesty than the frowned-upon correction. In your case, sir, you have the right to your natural hair color. May I simply return what rightfully belongs to you?"
"How is that?" Aschenbach asked.
"How's that?" Aschenbach asked.
Then the orator washed his client's hair with two kinds of water, one clear and one dark, and it was as black as in youth. Following this, he curled it with irons into soft waves, stepped back, and eyed his work.
Then the speaker washed his client's hair with two types of water, one clear and one dark, and it was as black as it had been in youth. After that, he curled it with irons into soft waves, stepped back, and looked at his work.
"All that is left now," he said, "would be to freshen up the skin a little."
"All that's left now," he said, "is to touch up the skin a bit."
And like someone who cannot finish, cannot satisfy himself, he passed with quickening energy from one manipulation to another. Aschenbach rested comfortably, incapable of resistance, or rather his hopes aroused by what was taking place. In the glass he saw his brows arch more evenly and decisively. His eyes became longer; their brilliance was heightened by a light touching-up of the lids. A little lower, where the skin had been a leatherish brown, he saw a delicate crimson tint grow beneath a deft application of colour. His lips, bloodless a little while past, became full, and as red as raspberries. The furrows in the cheeks and about the mouth, the wrinkles of the eyes, disappeared beneath lotions and cream. With a knocking heart he beheld a blossoming youth. Finally the beauty specialist declared himself content, after the manner of such people, by obsequiously thanking the man he had been serving. "A trifling assistance," he said, as he applied one parting touch. "Now the gentleman can fall in love unhesitatingly." He walked away, fascinated; he was happy as in a dream, timid and bewildered. His necktie was red, his broad-brimmed straw hat was trimmed with a variegated band.
And like someone who can't finish or satisfy himself, he moved energetically from one treatment to another. Aschenbach relaxed comfortably, unable to resist, or rather his hopes were sparked by what was happening. In the mirror, he noticed his brows arching more evenly and decisively. His eyes appeared longer; their brightness was enhanced by a subtle touch-up of the lids. A little lower, where the skin had been a leathery brown, he saw a delicate crimson hue develop beneath a skillful application of color. His lips, once pale, became full and as red as raspberries. The lines in his cheeks and around his mouth, the wrinkles by his eyes, vanished under lotions and creams. With a racing heart, he observed a youthful transformation. Finally, the beauty specialist expressed his satisfaction, as such people do, by obsequiously thanking the man he had been attending to. "Just a small help," he said, while applying one final touch. "Now the gentleman can fall in love without hesitation." He walked away, captivated; he felt happy, as if in a dream, shy and confused. His necktie was red, and his wide-brimmed straw hat was accented with a colorful band.
A tepid storm wind had risen. It was raining sparsely and at intervals, but the air was damp, thick, and filled with the smell of things rotting. All around him he heard a fluttering, pattering, and swishing; and under the fever of his cosmetics it seemed to him as though evil wind-spirits were haunting the place, impure sea birds which rooted and gnawed at the food of the condemned and befouled it with their droppings. For the sultriness destroyed his appetite, and the fancy suggested itself that the foods were poisoned with contaminating substances. Tracking the boy one afternoon, Aschenbach had plunged deep into the tangled centre of the diseased city. He was becoming uncertain of where he was, since the alleys, waterways, bridges, and little squares of the labyrinth were all so much alike, and he was no longer even sure of directions. He was absorbed with the problem of keeping the pursued figure in sight. And, driven to disgraceful subterfuges, flattening himself against walls, hiding behind the backs of other people, for a long time he did not notice the weariness, the exhaustion, with which emotion and the continual suspense had taxed his mind and his body. Tadzio walked behind his companions. He always allowed the governess and the nunlike sisters to precede him in the narrow places; and loitering behind alone, he would turn his head occasionally to look over his shoulder and make sure by a glance of his peculiarly dark-grey eyes that his admirer was following. He saw him, and did not betray him. Drunk with the knowledge of this, lured forward by those eyes, led meekly by his passion, the lover stole after his unseemly hope—but finally he was cheated and lost sight of him. The Poles had crossed a short arching bridge; the height of the curve hid them from the pursuer, and when he himself had arrived there he no longer saw them. He hunted for them vainly in three directions, straight ahead and to either side along the narrow dirty wharf. In the end he was so tired and unnerved that he had to give up the search.
A mild storm wind had picked up. It was raining lightly and sporadically, but the air was damp, thick, and filled with the smell of decay. All around him, he heard rustling, splashing, and swishing; and under the heat of his makeup, it felt to him like evil spirits were haunting the place, dirty seagulls that picked at the food of the damned and soiled it with their droppings. The humidity killed his appetite, and he couldn’t shake the thought that the food was tainted with contaminants. One afternoon, while tracking the boy, Aschenbach plunged deep into the twisted center of the sick city. He was losing track of where he was since the alleys, canals, bridges, and small squares of the labyrinth all looked alike, and he wasn’t even sure of the directions anymore. He was focused on keeping the figure he was following in sight. Driven to shameful tactics, pressing himself against walls and hiding behind other people, he didn’t notice for a long time the weariness and exhaustion that his emotions and the constant suspense had placed on his mind and body. Tadzio walked behind his friends. He always let the governess and the nun-like sisters go before him in the tight places; and while lingering behind alone, he would occasionally look back over his shoulder to make sure with a glance from his particularly dark grey eyes that his admirer was following him. He saw him and didn’t give him away. Consumed by this realization, drawn in by those eyes and gently led by his desire, the lover followed his inappropriate hope—but ultimately, he was betrayed and lost sight of him. The Poles had crossed a short arching bridge; the height of the curve blocked them from the pursuer, and when he arrived, he couldn’t see them anymore. He searched for them in three directions, straight ahead and to either side along the narrow, filthy dock. In the end, he was so worn out and rattled that he had to stop looking.
His head was on fire, his body was covered with a sticky sweat, his knees trembled. He could no longer endure the thirst that was torturing him, and he looked around for some immediate relief. From a little vegetable store he bought some fruit—strawberries, soft and overly ripe—and he ate them as he walked. A very charming, forsaken little square opened up before him. He recognized it; here he had made his frustrated plans for flight weeks ago. He let himself sink down on the steps of the cistern in the middle of the square, and laid his head against the stone cylinder. It was quiet; grass was growing up through the pavement; refuse was scattered about. Among the weather-beaten, unusually tall houses surrounding him there was one like a palace, with little lion-covered balconies, and Gothic windows with blank emptiness behind them. On the ground floor of another house was a drug store. Warm gusts of wind occasionally carried the smell of carbolic acid.
His head felt like it was on fire, his body was slick with sweat, and his knees were shaking. He could no longer stand the thirst that was tormenting him, so he looked for something to drink. He bought some fruit—strawberries, soft and overripe—from a small grocery store and ate them as he walked. A charming, abandoned little square appeared in front of him. He recognized it; he had made his frustrated escape plans here weeks earlier. He let himself collapse onto the steps of the cistern in the middle of the square, resting his head against the stone cylinder. It was quiet; grass was pushing up through the pavement, and trash was scattered around. Among the weathered, unusually tall buildings surrounding him, there was one that looked like a palace, with little balconies guarded by lions and Gothic windows that were dark and empty inside. On the ground floor of another building was a pharmacy. Warm gusts of wind sometimes carried the smell of disinfectant.
He sat there, he, the master, the artist of dignity, the author of The Wretch, a work which had, in such accurate symbols, renounced vagabondage and the depths of misery, had denied all sympathy with the engulfed, and had cast out the outcast; the man who had arrived and, victor over his own knowledge, had outgrown all irony and acclimatized himself to the obligations of public confidence; whose reputation was official, whose name had been knighted, and on whose style boys were urged to pattern themselves—he sat there. His eyelids were shut; only now and then a mocking uneasy side-glance slipped out from beneath them. And his loose lips, set off by the cosmetics, formed isolated words of the strange dream-logic created by his half-slumbering brain.
He sat there, the master, the artist of dignity, the author of The Wretch, a work that had accurately symbolized a rejection of wandering and the depths of misery, denied any sympathy with the lost, and cast out the outcast; the man who had made it and, having triumphed over his own knowledge, had outgrown all irony and adapted to the demands of public trust; whose reputation was official, whose name had been knighted, and on whose style boys were encouraged to model themselves—he sat there. His eyelids were closed; only now and then a mocking, uneasy glance peeked out from beneath them. His loose lips, enhanced by cosmetics, formed scattered words from the strange dream-logic created by his half-asleep mind.
"For beauty, Phaedrus, mark me, beauty alone is both divine and visible at once; and thus it is the road of the sensuous; it is, little Phaedrus, the road of the artist to the spiritual. But do you now believe, my dear, that they can ever attain wisdom and true human dignity for whom the road to the spiritual leads through the senses? Or do you believe rather (I leave the choice to you) that this is a pleasant but perilous road, a really wrong and sinful road, which necessarily leads astray? For you must know that we poets cannot take the road of beauty without having Eros join us and set himself up as our leader. Indeed, we may even be heroes after our fashion, and hardened warriors, though we be like women, for passion is our exaltation, and our desire must remain love—that is our pleasure and our disgrace. You now see, do you not, that we poets cannot be wise and dignified? That we necessarily go astray, necessarily remain lascivious, and adventurers in emotion? The mastery of our style is all lies and foolishness, our renown and honour are a farce, the confidence of the masses in us is highly ridiculous, and the training of the public and of youth through art is a precarious undertaking which should be forbidden. For how indeed could he be a fit instructor who is born with a natural leaning towards the precipice? We might well disavow it and reach after dignity, but wherever we turn it attracts us. Let us, say, renounce the dissolvent of knowledge, since knowledge, Phaedrus, has no dignity or strength. It is aware, it understands and pardons, but without reserve and form. It feels sympathy with the precipice, it is the precipice. This then we abandon with firmness, and from now on our efforts matter only by their yield of beauty, or in other words, simplicity, greatness, and new rigour, form, and a second type of openness. But form and openness, Phaedrus, lead to intoxication and to desire, lead the noble perhaps into sinister revels of emotion which his own beautiful rigour rejects as infamous, lead to the precipice, yes they too lead to the precipice. They lead us poets there, I say, since we cannot force ourselves, since we can merely let ourselves out And now I am going, Phaedrus. You stay here; and when you no longer see me, then you go too."
"For beauty, Phaedrus, listen to me, beauty is both divine and visible at the same time; it is the path of the senses; it is, dear Phaedrus, the path of the artist to the spiritual. But do you really think, my friend, that those whose journey to the spiritual travels through the senses can ever reach wisdom and true human dignity? Or do you think instead (the choice is yours) that this is a pleasant but dangerous path, a truly wrong and sinful path, that inevitably leads one astray? You must understand that we poets can't take the road of beauty without Eros joining us and leading the way. Indeed, we might even be heroes in our own right and tough warriors, though we may act like women, for passion is our source of strength, and our desire has to be love—that is both our joy and our shame. You see now, don't you, that we poets can't be wise and dignified? That we inevitably stray, inevitably remain lustful, and adventurers in our emotions? The mastery of our craft is all deception and nonsense, our fame and honor are a joke, the people's trust in us is utterly absurd, and training the public and youth through art is a risky endeavor that should be banned. For how could someone be a good teacher who is naturally inclined toward the edge? We might well deny it and strive for dignity, but wherever we turn, it pulls us in. Let's say we renounce the dissolving nature of knowledge, since knowledge, Phaedrus, lacks dignity or strength. It is aware, understands, and forgives, but without restraint or structure. It sympathizes with the edge; it is the edge. So we firmly abandon this, and from now on, our efforts matter only by their result in beauty, or in other words, simplicity, greatness, and a new level of rigor, form, and a different kind of openness. But form and openness, Phaedrus, lead to intoxication and desire, they might lead the noble into dark revelries of emotion that their own beautiful rigor condemns as disgraceful, they lead to the edge, yes, they too lead to the edge. They take us poets there, I say, since we cannot hold back, since we can only let ourselves go. And now I’m leaving, Phaedrus. You stay here; and when you can no longer see me, then you can leave too."
A few days later, as Gustav von Aschenbach was not feeling well, he left the beach hotel at a later hour in the morning than usual. He had to fight against certain attacks of vertigo which were only partially physical and were accompanied by a pronounced malaise, a feeling of bafflement and hopelessness—while he was not certain whether this had to do with conditions outside him or with his own nature. In the lobby he noticed a large pile of luggage ready for shipment; he asked the door-keeper who it was that was leaving, and heard in answer the Polish title which he had learned secretly. He accepted this without any alteration of his sunken features, with that curt elevation of the head by which one acknowledges something he does not need to know. Then he asked, "When?" The answer was, "After lunch." He nodded, and went to the beach.
A few days later, since Gustav von Aschenbach wasn't feeling well, he left the beach hotel later in the morning than usual. He had to deal with some bouts of dizziness that were only partly physical and came with a strong sense of unease, confusion, and despair—he wasn't sure if this was due to external circumstances or something within himself. In the lobby, he noticed a large stack of luggage ready to be shipped; he asked the doorman who was leaving and received the Polish title he had learned in secret. He accepted this without changing his drawn features, with that slight lift of the head that acknowledges something one doesn’t need to know. Then he asked, "When?" The reply was, "After lunch." He nodded and went to the beach.
It was not very inviting. Rippling patches of rain retreated across the wide flat water separating the beach from the first long sand-bank. An air of autumn, of things past their prime, seemed to lie over the pleasure spot which had once been so alive with colour and was now almost abandoned. The sand was no longer kept clean. A camera, seemingly without an owner, stood on its tripod by the edge of the sea; and a black cloth thrown over it was flapping noisily in the wind.
It wasn't very inviting. Rippling patches of rain moved across the wide flat water that separated the beach from the first long sandbank. An air of autumn, of things past their prime, hung over the once vibrant spot that was now almost deserted. The sand was no longer kept clean. A camera, apparently without an owner, stood on its tripod by the edge of the sea, and a black cloth tossed over it flapped noisily in the wind.
Tadzio, with the three or four companions still left, was moving about to the right in front of his family's cabin. And midway between the sea and the row of bathing houses, lying back in his chair with a robe over his knees, Aschenbach looked at him once more. The game, which was not being supervised since the women were probably occupied with preparations for the journey, seemed to have no rules, and it was degenerating. The stocky boy with the sleek black hair who was called Jaschu had been angered and blinded by sand flung in his face. He forced Tadzio into a wrestling match which quickly ended in the fall of the beauty, who was weaker. But as though in the hour of parting the servile feelings of the inferior had turned to merciless brutality and were trying to get vengeance for a long period of slavery, the victor did not let go of the boy underneath, but knelt on his back and pressed his face so persistently into the sand that Tadzio, already breathless from the struggle, was in danger of strangling. His attempts to shake off the weight were fitful; for moments they stopped entirely and were resumed again as mere twitchings. Enraged, Aschenbach was about to spring to the rescue, when the torturer finally released his victim. Tadzio, very pale, raised himself halfway and sat motionless for several minutes, resting on one arm, with rumpled hair and glowering eyes. Then he stood up completely, and moved slowly away. They called him, cheerfully at first, then anxiously and imploringly; he did not listen. The swarthy boy, who seemed to regret his excesses immediately afterwards, caught up with him and tried to placate him. A movement of the shoulder put him at his distance. Tadzio went down obliquely to the water. He was barefoot, and wore his striped linen suit with the red bow.
Tadzio, along with the three or four friends still around, was moving to the right in front of his family's cabin. Meanwhile, halfway between the sea and the row of changing huts, Aschenbach watched him again while lying back in his chair with a robe draped over his knees. The game they were playing, which wasn't being monitored since the women were likely busy with travel preparations, seemed to have no rules and was getting out of hand. The stocky boy with sleek black hair, known as Jaschu, had gotten angry and blinded by sand thrown in his face. He pushed Tadzio into a wrestling match that quickly resulted in the fall of the weaker beauty. But as if in the moment of parting, the pent-up rage of the inferior turned into a ruthless brutality seeking revenge for a long time of feeling oppressed; the winner didn't let go of the boy lying beneath him, but knelt on his back and pressed his face so hard into the sand that Tadzio, already breathless from the struggle, was in danger of suffocating. His attempts to shake off the weight were sporadic; sometimes they completely stopped and would then resume as mere twitches. Furious, Aschenbach was about to jump in to help when the tormentor finally let his victim go. Tadzio, very pale, raised himself halfway and sat still for several minutes, resting on one arm, with messy hair and glaring eyes. Then he stood up all the way and walked slowly away. They called out to him cheerfully at first, then with growing anxiety and pleading; he didn’t respond. The dark-haired boy, who seemed to regret going too far, caught up with him and tried to smooth things over. A shrug pushed him back. Tadzio moved diagonally towards the water. He was barefoot and wore his striped linen suit with the red bow.
He lingered on the edge of the water with his head down, drawing figures in the wet sand with one toe; then he went into the shallows, which did not cover his knees in the deepest place, crossed them leisurely, and arrived at the sand-bank. He stood there a moment, his face turned to the open sea; soon after, he began stepping slowly to the left along the narrow stretch of exposed ground. Separated from the mainland by the expanse of water, separated from his companions by a proud moodiness, he moved along, a strongly isolated and unrelated figure with fluttering hair—placed out there in the sea, the wind, against the vague mists. He stopped once more to look around. And suddenly, as though at some recollection, some impulse, with one hand on his hip he turned the upper part of his body in a beautiful twist which began from the base—and he looked over his shoulder towards the shore. The watcher sat there, as he had sat once before when for the first time these twilight-grey eyes had turned at the doorway and met his own. His head, against the back of the chair, had slowly followed the movements of the boy walking yonder. Now, simultaneously with this glance it rose and sank on his breast, so that his eyes looked out from underneath, while his face took on the loose, inwardly relaxed expression of deep sleep. But it seemed to him as though the pale and lovely lure out there were smiling to him, nodding to him; as though, removing his hand from his hip, he were signalling to come out, were vaguely guiding towards egregious promises. And, as often before, he stood up to follow him.
He hung around the edge of the water with his head down, drawing shapes in the wet sand with one toe. Then he waded into the shallow water, which didn’t reach his knees at the deepest point, crossed it casually, and reached the sandbank. He paused for a moment, facing the open sea; soon after, he began to walk slowly to the left along the narrow strip of exposed ground. Cut off from the mainland by the stretch of water, and distant from his friends due to a proud sulkiness, he moved along, a deeply isolated figure with hair blowing in the wind—set out there in the sea, the gusts, against the hazy mists. He stopped again to look around. And suddenly, as if struck by a memory or impulse, with one hand on his hip he twisted his upper body beautifully, starting from the base—and looked over his shoulder towards the shore. The observer sat there, just as he had once before when these twilight-grey eyes had first turned at the doorway and met his own. His head, resting against the back of the chair, had slowly followed the boy’s movements from afar. Now, coinciding with that glance, it lifted and fell against his chest, so his eyes peeked out from beneath, while his face assumed the loose, relaxed expression of deep sleep. But it felt to him as if the pale and beautiful figure out there was smiling at him, beckoning him; as if, taking his hand off his hip, he was signaling him to come out, vaguely leading him toward enticing promises. And, as he had done many times before, he stood up to follow.
Some minutes passed before any one hurried to the aid of the man who had collapsed into one corner of his chair. He was brought to his room. And on the same day a respectfully shocked world received the news of his death.
Some minutes went by before anyone rushed to help the man who had slumped into the corner of his chair. He was taken to his room. That same day, a stunned world received the news of his death.
The End
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