This is a modern-English version of All the Sad Young Men, originally written by Fitzgerald, F. Scott (Francis Scott). It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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ALL THE SAD YOUNG MEN





By

F. SCOTT FITZGERALD





NEW YORK

CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS

1926







TO
RING AND ELLIS LARDNER







CONTENTS







THE RICH BOY

Begin with an individual, and before you know it you find that you have created a type; begin with a type, and you find that you have created—nothing. That is because we are all queer fish, queerer behind our faces and voices than we want any one to know or than we know ourselves. When I hear a man proclaiming himself an "average, honest, open fellow," I feel pretty sure that he has some definite and perhaps terrible abnormality which he has agreed to conceal—and his protestation of being average and honest and open is his way of reminding himself of his misprision.

Start with one person, and before you realize it, you’ve created a stereotype; start with a stereotype, and you’ll find you’ve created—nothing. That’s because we’re all unusual people, we’re even more unusual behind our faces and voices than we want anyone to know or even understand ourselves. When I hear a guy calling himself an "average, honest, straightforward guy," I’m pretty convinced he has some specific and maybe even terrible abnormality that he’s decided to hide—and his claim of being average, honest, and open is just his way of reminding himself of his denial.

There are no types, no plurals. There is a rich boy, and this is his and not his brothers' story. All my life I have lived among his brothers but this one has been my friend. Besides, if I wrote about his brothers I should have to begin by attacking all the lies that the poor have told about the rich and the rich have told about themselves—such a wild structure they have erected that when we pick up a book about the rich, some instinct prepares us for unreality. Even the intelligent and impassioned reporters of life have made the country of the rich as unreal as fairy-land.

There are no types, no plurals. There’s a wealthy boy, and this is his story, not his brothers'. I've spent my whole life around his brothers, but this one has been my friend. Plus, if I wrote about his brothers, I would have to start by tearing down all the lies that the poor have told about the rich and the lies the rich have told about themselves—such a crazy structure they’ve built that when we pick up a book about the rich, something in us braces for unreality. Even the smart and passionate reporters of life have made the world of the rich seem as unreal as a fairy tale.

Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me. They possess and enjoy early, and it does something to them, makes them soft where we are hard, and cynical where we are trustful, in a way that, unless you were born rich, it is very difficult to understand. They think, deep in their hearts, that they are better than we are because we had to discover the compensations and refuges of life for ourselves. Even when they enter deep into our world or sink below us, they still think that they are better than we are. They are different. The only way I can describe young Anson Hunter is to approach him as if he were a foreigner and cling stubbornly to my point of view. If I accept his for a moment I am lost—I have nothing to show but a preposterous movie.

Let me tell you about the super-rich. They’re different from you and me. They get to enjoy everything early in life, and it changes them; it makes them soft where we’re tough and cynical where we’re trusting, in a way that’s really hard to grasp unless you were born into wealth. Deep down, they believe they’re better than us because we have to find our own ways to cope with life. Even when they step into our world or go below us, they still think they’re superior. They’re just different. The only way I can describe young Anson Hunter is to treat him like he’s from another planet and stubbornly stick to my perspective. If I even briefly take on his view, I’ve lost—there’s nothing I can show but a ridiculous movie.







II

Anson was the eldest of six children who would some day divide a fortune of fifteen million dollars, and he reached the age of reason—is it seven?—at the beginning of the century when daring young women were already gliding along Fifth Avenue in electric "mobiles." In those days he and his brother had an English governess who spoke the language very clearly and crisply and well, so that the two boys grew to speak as she did—their words and sentences were all crisp and clear and not run together as ours are. They didn't talk exactly like English children but acquired an accent that is peculiar to fashionable people in the city of New York.

Anson was the oldest of six kids who would someday share a fortune of fifteen million dollars, and he hit the age of reason—is it seven?—at the start of the century when bold young women were already cruising down Fifth Avenue in electric "mobiles." Back then, he and his brother had an English governess who spoke the language very clearly and precisely, so the two boys learned to speak just like her—their words and sentences were sharp and clear, not all jumbled together like ours are. They didn’t speak exactly like English kids but picked up an accent that’s unique to fashionable people in New York City.

In the summer the six children were moved from the house on 71st Street to a big estate in northern Connecticut. It was not a fashionable locality—Anson's father wanted to delay as long as possible his children's knowledge of that side of life. He was a man somewhat superior to his class, which composed New York society, and to his period, which was the snobbish and formalized vulgarity of the Gilded Age, and he wanted his sons to learn habits of concentration and have sound constitutions and grow up into right-living and successful men. He and his wife kept an eye on them as well as they were able until the two older boys went away to school, but in huge establishments this is difficult—it was much simpler in the series of small and medium-sized houses in which my own youth was spent—I was never far out of the reach of my mother's voice, of the sense of her presence, her approval or disapproval.

In the summer, the six kids were moved from the house on 71st Street to a big estate in northern Connecticut. It wasn’t a trendy area—Anson's dad wanted to delay his children's exposure to that side of life for as long as possible. He was a man somewhat above his class, which made up New York society, and his time, which was defined by the snobbish and formalized vulgarity of the Gilded Age. He wanted his sons to develop focus, have good health, and grow up to be responsible and successful men. He and his wife kept an eye on them as best as they could until the two older boys went off to school, but in large estates, this is tough—it was much easier in the series of small and medium-sized houses where I spent my own childhood. I was never far from my mother’s voice, the sense of her presence, her approval or disapproval.

Anson's first sense of his superiority came to him when he realized the half-grudging American deference that was paid to him in the Connecticut village. The parents of the boys he played with always inquired after his father and mother, and were vaguely excited when their own children were asked to the Hunters' house. He accepted this as the natural state of things, and a sort of impatience with all groups of which he was not the centre—in money, in position, in authority—remained with him for the rest of his life. He disdained to struggle with other boys for precedence—he expected it to be given him freely, and when it wasn't he withdrew into his family. His family was sufficient, for in the East money is still a I somewhat feudal thing, a clan-forming thing. In the snobbish West, money separates families to form "sets."

Anson's first sense of superiority hit him when he noticed the somewhat reluctant respect he received in the Connecticut village. The parents of the boys he played with always asked about his mother and father, and they were vaguely thrilled when their kids were invited to the Hunters' house. He took this as the norm, and a kind of impatience with all groups where he wasn’t the focal point—in terms of money, status, and authority—stayed with him for life. He looked down on competing with other boys for recognition—he expected it to be handed to him, and when it wasn't, he retreated into his family. His family was enough for him, because in the East, money has a somewhat feudal quality, creating a sense of clan. In the snobby West, money divides families into separate "sets."

At eighteen, when he went to New Haven, Anson was tall and thick-set, with a clear complexion and a healthy color from the ordered life he had led in school. His hair was yellow and grew in a funny way on his head, his nose was beaked—these two things kept him from being handsome—but he had a confident charm and a certain brusque style, and the upper-class men who passed him on the street knew without being told that he was a rich boy and had gone to one of the best schools. Nevertheless, his very superiority kept him from being a success in college—the independence was mistaken for egotism, and the refusal to accept Yale standards with the proper awe seemed to belittle all those who had. So, long before he graduated, he began to shift the centre of his life to New York.

At eighteen, when he moved to New Haven, Anson was tall and sturdy, with clear skin and a healthy glow from the disciplined life he had led in school. His hair was yellow and grew in a quirky way on his head, and his nose was sharp—these two things prevented him from being handsome—but he had a confident charm and a certain brusque style, and the wealthy upperclassmen who walked past him on the street could tell without being told that he was a rich kid who had gone to one of the best schools. However, his very superiority kept him from succeeding in college—his independence was seen as arrogance, and his refusal to accept Yale's standards with the right level of respect seemed to undermine those who did. So, long before he graduated, he started shifting the focus of his life to New York.

He was at home in New York—there was his own house with "the kind of servants you can't get any more"—and his own family, of which, because of his good humor and a certain ability to make things go, he was rapidly becoming the centre, and the débutante parties, and the correct manly world of the men's clubs, and the occasional wild spree with the gallant girls whom New Haven only knew from the fifth row. His aspirations were conventional enough—they included even the irreproachable shadow he would some day marry, but they differed from the aspirations of the majority of young men in that there was no mist over them, none of that quality which is variously known as "idealism" or "illusion." Anson accepted without reservation the world of high finance and high extravagance, of divorce and dissipation, of snobbery and of privilege. Most of our lives end as a compromise—it was as a compromise that his life began.

He was at home in New York—there was his own house with “the kind of servants you can’t find anymore”—and his own family, of which, thanks to his good humor and his knack for getting things done, he was quickly becoming the center. There were the debutante parties, the proper world of men’s clubs, and the occasional wild nights out with the charming girls New Haven only knew from the fifth row. His aspirations were pretty typical—they even included the perfect woman he would eventually marry—but they were different from most young men’s aspirations because there was no haze over them, none of that quality often called “idealism” or “illusion.” Anson accepted without hesitation the world of high finance and lavish lifestyles, of divorce and excess, of snobbery and privilege. Most of our lives end up as compromises—it was as a compromise that his life began.

He and I first met in the late summer of 1917 when he was just out of Yale, and, like the rest of us, was swept up into the systematized hysteria of the war. In the blue-green uniform of the naval aviation he came down to Pensacola, where the hotel orchestras played "I'm sorry, dear," and we young officers danced with the girls. Every one liked him, and though he ran with the drinkers and wasn't an especially good pilot, even the instructors treated him with a certain respect. He was always having long talks with them in his confident, logical voice—talks which ended by his getting himself, or, more frequently, another officer, out of some impending trouble. He was convivial, bawdy, robustly avid for pleasure, and we were all surprised when he fell in love with a conservative and rather proper girl.

He and I first met in late summer 1917 when he had just graduated from Yale and, like everyone else, got caught up in the organized hysteria of the war. In the blue-green uniform of the naval aviation, he came down to Pensacola, where the hotel orchestras played "I'm sorry, dear," and we young officers danced with the girls. Everyone liked him, and even though he hung out with the drinkers and wasn't a particularly great pilot, the instructors treated him with a certain respect. He often had long conversations with them in his confident, logical voice—talks that usually ended with him getting himself or, more often, another officer out of some looming trouble. He was sociable, crude, and eagerly sought pleasure, so we were all surprised when he fell in love with a conservative and somewhat proper girl.

Her name was Paula Legendre, a dark, serious beauty from somewhere in California. Her family kept a winter residence just outside of town, and in spite of her primness she was enormously popular; there is a large class of men whose egotism can't endure humor in a woman. But Anson wasn't that sort, and I couldn't understand the attraction of her "sincerity"—that was the thing to say about her—for his keen and somewhat sardonic mind.

Her name was Paula Legendre, a dark, serious beauty from somewhere in California. Her family owned a winter home just outside of town, and despite her demure nature, she was incredibly popular; there’s a big group of men whose egos can’t handle humor in a woman. But Anson wasn’t one of those guys, and I didn’t get why he was drawn to her "sincerity"—that was the buzzword about her—for his sharp and somewhat sarcastic mind.

Nevertheless, they fell in love—and on her terms. He no longer joined the twilight gathering at the De Sota bar, and whenever they were seen together they were engaged in a long, serious dialogue, which must have gone on several weeks. Long afterward he told me that it was not about anything in particular but was composed on both sides of immature and even meaningless statements—the emotional content that gradually came to fill it grew up not out of the words but out of its enormous seriousness. It was a sort of hypnosis. Often it was interrupted, giving way to that emasculated humor we call fun; when they were alone it was resumed again, solemn, low-keyed, and pitched so as to give each other a sense of unity in feeling and thought. They came to resent any interruptions of it, to be unresponsive to facetiousness about life, even to the mild cynicism of their contemporaries. They were only happy when the dialogue was going on, and its seriousness bathed them like the amber glow of an open fire. Toward the end there came an interruption they did not resent—it began to be interrupted by passion.

Nevertheless, they fell in love—and on her terms. He no longer joined the evening hangouts at the De Sota bar, and whenever they were seen together, they were engaged in a long, serious conversation that must have lasted several weeks. Long after, he told me that it wasn’t about anything specific but was filled with immature and even meaningless statements from both sides—the emotional weight that gradually developed came not from the words but from the intensity of the conversation. It was like a sort of hypnosis. Often, it was interrupted, giving way to that lighthearted humor we call fun; when they were alone, it would pick back up again, serious, low-key, and aimed at creating a sense of unity in feeling and thought. They began to dislike any interruptions to it, becoming unresponsive to jokes about life, even to the mild cynicism from their peers. They were only happy when the dialogue was happening, and its seriousness surrounded them like the warm glow of an open fire. Toward the end, there came an interruption they didn’t mind—it began to be interrupted by passion.

Oddly enough, Anson was as engrossed in the dialogue as she was and as profoundly affected by it, yet at the same time aware that on his side much was insincere, and on hers much was merely simple. At first, too, he despised her emotional simplicity as well, but with his love her nature deepened and blossomed, and he could despise it no longer. He felt that if he could enter into Paula's warm safe life he would be happy. The long preparation of the dialogue removed any constraint—he taught her some of what he had learned from more adventurous women, and she responded with a rapt holy intensity. One evening after a dance they agreed to marry, and he wrote a long letter about her to his mother. The next day Paula told him that she was rich, that she had a personal fortune of nearly a million dollars.

Strangely enough, Anson was just as absorbed in the conversation as she was and deeply affected by it, while also realizing that his side was often insincere and hers was mostly straightforward. At first, he even looked down on her emotional straightforwardness, but with his love, her nature became richer and blossomed, and he could no longer look down on it. He felt that if he could step into Paula's warm and secure world, he would be happy. The lengthy buildup to their conversation removed any awkwardness—he shared some things he'd learned from more adventurous women, and she reacted with an intense, almost sacred enthusiasm. One evening after a dance, they decided to get married, and he wrote a long letter about her to his mom. The next day, Paula told him that she was wealthy, with a personal fortune of nearly a million dollars.







III

It was exactly as if they could say "Neither of us has anything: we shall be poor together"—just as delightful that they should be rich instead. It gave them the same communion of adventure. Yet when Anson got leave in April, and Paula and her mother accompanied him North, she was impressed with the standing of his family in New York and with the scale on which they lived. Alone with Anson for the first time in the rooms where he had played as a boy, she was filled with a comfortable emotion, as though she were pre-eminently safe and taken care of. The pictures of Anson in a skull cap at his first school, of Anson on horseback with the sweetheart of a mysterious forgotten summer, of Anson in a gay group of ushers and bridesmaid at a wedding, made her jealous of his life apart from her in the past, and so completely did his authoritative person seem to sum up and typify these possessions of his that she was inspired with the idea of being married immediately and returning to Pensacola as his wife.

It felt like they could say, "Neither of us has anything: we’ll be poor together"—just as wonderful as if they were rich instead. It gave them the same thrill of adventure. But when Anson got leave in April, and Paula and her mom joined him up North, she was struck by how respected his family was in New York and the way they lived. Alone with Anson for the first time in the rooms where he grew up, she felt a warm sense of security, as if she was completely safe and cared for. The photos of Anson in a skull cap at his first school, Anson on horseback with a long-lost summer romance, and Anson in a cheerful group of ushers and bridesmaids at a wedding made her envious of his past life apart from her. His confident presence seemed to embody all those memories, and it inspired her to think about getting married right away and going back to Pensacola as his wife.

But an immediate marriage wasn't discussed—even the engagement was to be secret until after the war. When she realized that only two days of his leave remained, her dissatisfaction crystallized in the intention of making him as unwilling to wait as she was. They were driving to the country for dinner, and she determined to force the issue that night.

But an immediate marriage wasn't talked about—even the engagement was supposed to be a secret until after the war. When she realized that he had only two days of leave left, her frustration turned into the plan of making him as eager to act as she was. They were driving to the countryside for dinner, and she decided to push the issue that night.

Now a cousin of Paula's was staying with them at the Ritz, a severe, bitter girl who loved Paula but was somewhat jealous of her impressive engagement, and as Paula was late in dressing, the cousin, who wasn't going to the party, received Anson in the parlor of the suite.

Now a cousin of Paula's was staying with them at the Ritz, a serious, bitter girl who loved Paula but was a bit jealous of her impressive engagement. Since Paula was taking her time getting ready, the cousin, who wasn't going to the party, greeted Anson in the suite's parlor.

Anson had met friends at five o'clock and drunk freely and indiscreetly with them for an hour. He left the Yale Club at a proper time, and his mother's chauffeur drove him to the Ritz, but his usual capacity was not in evidence, and the impact of the steam-heated sitting-room made him suddenly dizzy. He knew it, and he was both amused and sorry.

Anson had met friends at five o'clock and had been drinking freely and carelessly with them for an hour. He left the Yale Club at a reasonable time, and his mother's driver took him to the Ritz, but he wasn't able to handle his usual amount, and the warm, steamy sitting room made him feel suddenly lightheaded. He was aware of it, and he felt both amused and regretful.

Paula's cousin was twenty-five, but she was exceptionally naïve; and at first failed to realize what was up. She had never met Anson before, and she was surprised when he mumbled strange information and nearly fell off his chair, but until Paula appeared it didn't occur to her that what she had taken for the odor of a dry-cleaned uniform was really whiskey. But Paula understood as soon as she appeared; her only thought was to get Anson away before her mother saw him, and at the look in her eyes the cousin understood too.

Paula's cousin was twenty-five, but she was really naïve; and at first, she didn't get what was happening. She had never met Anson before, and she was shocked when he mumbled weird things and almost fell off his chair, but it didn't click for her that what she thought was the smell of a dry-cleaned uniform was actually whiskey until Paula showed up. But as soon as Paula arrived, she got it; all she could think about was getting Anson out of there before her mom saw him, and at the look in her eyes, her cousin understood too.

When Paula and Anson descended to the limousine they found two men inside, both asleep; they were the men with whom he had been drinking at the Yale Club, and they were also going to the party. He had entirely forgotten their presence in the car. On the way to Hempstead they awoke and sang. Some of the songs were rough, and though Paula tried to reconcile herself to the fact that Anson had few verbal inhibitions, her lips tightened with shame and distaste.

When Paula and Anson got into the limousine, they found two men inside, both asleep; they were the guys he had been drinking with at the Yale Club, and they were also heading to the party. He had completely forgotten they were in the car. On the way to Hempstead, they woke up and started singing. Some of the songs were crude, and even though Paula tried to accept that Anson didn’t have much of a filter, her lips tightened in embarrassment and disgust.

Back at the hotel the cousin, confused and agitated, considered the incident, and then walked into Mrs. Legendre's bedroom, saying: "Isn't he funny?"

Back at the hotel, the cousin, confused and restless, thought about the incident, then walked into Mrs. Legendre's bedroom, saying: "Isn't he funny?"

"Who is funny?"

"Who’s funny?"

"Why—Mr. Hunter. He seemed so funny."

"Why—Mr. Hunter. He seemed so amusing."

Mrs. Legendre looked at her sharply.

Mrs. Legendre gave her a sharp look.

"How is he funny?"

"What's funny about him?"

"Why, he said he was French. I didn't know he was French."

"Why, he said he was French. I didn't know he was French."

"That's absurd. You must have misunderstood." She smiled: "It was a joke."

"That's ridiculous. You must have misunderstood." She smiled, "It was a joke."

The cousin shook her head stubbornly.

The cousin stubbornly shook her head.

"No. He said he was brought up in France. He said he couldn't speak any English, and that's why he couldn't talk to me. And he couldn't!"

"No. He said he was raised in France. He said he couldn't speak any English, and that’s why he couldn’t talk to me. And he really couldn’t!"

Mrs. Legendre looked away with impatience just as the cousin added thoughtfully, "Perhaps it was because he was so drunk," and walked out of the room.

Mrs. Legendre glanced away in frustration just as the cousin added thoughtfully, "Maybe it was because he was so drunk," and walked out of the room.

This curious report was true. Anson, finding his voice thick and uncontrollable, had taken the unusual refuge of announcing that he spoke no English. Years afterward he used to tell that part of the story; and he invariably communicated the uproarious laughter which the memory aroused in him.

This strange report was true. Anson, realizing his voice was thick and unmanageable, had taken the unusual step of saying that he didn’t speak any English. Years later, he would share that part of the story, and he always conveyed the loud laughter that the memory brought him.

Five times in the next hour Mrs. Legendre tried to get Hempstead on the phone. When she succeeded, there was a ten-minute delay before she heard Paula's voice on the wire.

Five times in the next hour, Mrs. Legendre tried to reach Hempstead on the phone. When she finally got through, there was a ten-minute wait before she heard Paula's voice on the line.

"Cousin Jo told me Anson was intoxicated."

"Cousin Jo told me Anson was drunk."

"Oh, no...."

"Oh, no..."

"Oh, yes. Cousin Jo says he was intoxicated. He told her he was French, and fell off his chair and behaved as if he was very intoxicated. I don't want you to come home with him."

"Oh, definitely. Cousin Jo says he was drunk. He told her he was French, then fell off his chair and acted like he was really wasted. I don’t want you to come home with him."

"Mother, he's all right! Please don't worry about——"

"Mom, he's fine! Please don't worry about——"

"But I do worry. I think it's dreadful. I want you to promise me not to come home with him."

"But I'm really worried. I think it's terrible. I need you to promise me that you won't come home with him."

"I'll take care of it, mother...."

"I've got it, mom...."

"I don't want you to come home with him."

"I don't want you to come home with him."

"All right, mother. Good-by."

"Okay, mom. Goodbye."

"Be sure now, Paula. Ask some one to bring you."

"Make sure, Paula. Ask someone to bring you."

Deliberately Paula took the receiver from her ear and hung it up. Her face was flushed with helpless annoyance. Anson was stretched asleep out in a bedroom up-stairs, while the dinner-party below was proceeding lamely toward conclusion.

Deliberately, Paula took the phone away from her ear and hung it up. Her face was flushed with helpless annoyance. Anson was sleeping soundly in a bedroom upstairs, while the dinner party downstairs was dragging awkwardly toward its end.

The hour's drive had sobered him somewhat—his arrival was merely hilarious—and Paula hoped that the evening was not spoiled, after all, but two imprudent cocktails before dinner completed the disaster. He talked boisterously and somewhat offensively to the party at large for fifteen minutes, and then slid silently under the table; like a man in an old print—but, unlike an old print, it was rather horrible without being at all quaint. None of the young girls present remarked upon the incident—it seemed to merit only silence. His uncle and two other men carried him up-stairs, and it was just after this that Paula was called to the phone.

The hour-long drive had somewhat sobered him—his arrival was just funny—and Paula hoped the evening wasn’t ruined after all, but two reckless cocktails before dinner sealed the deal. He talked loudly and a bit offensively to everyone for about fifteen minutes, then slid silently under the table; like a character in an old painting—but, unlike an old painting, it was pretty awful without being at all charming. None of the young women there mentioned the incident—it seemed to deserve only silence. His uncle and two other guys carried him upstairs, and it was right after this that Paula got a call.

An hour later Anson awoke in a fog of nervous agony, through which he perceived after a moment the figure of his uncle Robert standing by the door.

An hour later, Anson woke up feeling a mix of anxiety and pain that clouded his mind. After a moment, he noticed his uncle Robert standing by the door.

"... I said are you better?"

"... I said, are you feeling better?"

"What?"

"What?"

"Do you feel better, old man?"

"Do you feel better, old dude?"

"Terrible," said Anson.

"Awful," said Anson.

"I'm going to try you on another bromo-seltzer. If you can hold it down, it'll do you good to sleep."

"I'm going to give you another bromo-seltzer. If you can keep it down, it'll help you sleep better."

With an effort Anson slid his legs from the bed and stood up.

With effort, Anson swung his legs off the bed and stood up.

"I'm all right," he said dully.

"I'm fine," he said flatly.

"Take it easy."

"Chill out."

"I thin' if you gave me a glassbrandy I could go down-stairs."

"I think if you gave me a glass of brandy, I could go downstairs."

"Oh, no——"

"Oh, no—"

"Yes, that's the only thin'. I'm all right now.... I suppose I'm in Dutch dow' there."

"Yeah, that's the only thing. I'm good now... I guess I'm in trouble down there."

"They know you're a little under the weather," said his uncle deprecatingly. "But don't worry about it. Schuyler didn't even get here. He passed away in the locker-room over at the Links."

"They know you're feeling a bit off," said his uncle, trying to downplay it. "But don't stress about it. Schuyler didn't even make it here. He died in the locker room at the Links."

Indifferent to any opinion, except Paula's, Anson was nevertheless determined to save the débris of the evening, but when after a cold bath he made his appearance most of the party had already left. Paula got up immediately to go home.

Indifferent to any opinion except Paula's, Anson was still set on salvaging the night, but when he finally showed up after a cold shower, most of the group had already left. Paula immediately got up to head home.

In the limousine the old serious dialogue began. She had known that he drank, she admitted, but she had never expected anything like this—it seemed to her that perhaps they were not suited to each other, after all. Their ideas about life were too different, and so forth. When she finished speaking, Anson spoke in turn, very soberly. Then Paula said she'd have to think it over; she wouldn't decide to-night; she was not angry but she was terribly sorry. Nor would she let him come into the hotel with her, but just before she got out of the car she leaned and kissed him unhappily on the cheek.

In the limousine, a serious conversation began. She had known he drank, she admitted, but she never expected anything like this—it seemed to her that maybe they weren't meant for each other after all. Their views on life were just too different. When she finished speaking, Anson responded very seriously. Then Paula said she needed to think it over; she wouldn't make a decision tonight. She wasn't angry, but she was really sorry. She also wouldn’t let him come into the hotel with her, but just before she got out of the car, she leaned over and kissed him sadly on the cheek.

The next afternoon Anson had a long talk with Mrs. Legendre while Paula sat listening in silence. It was agreed that Paula was to brood over the incident for a proper period and then, if mother and daughter thought it best, they would follow Anson to Pensacola. On his part he apologized with sincerity and dignity—that was all; with every card in her hand Mrs. Legendre was unable to establish any advantage over him. He made no promises, showed no humility, only delivered a few serious comments on life which brought him off with rather a moral superiority at the end. When they came South three weeks later, neither Anson in his satisfaction nor Paula in her relief at the reunion realized that the psychological moment had passed forever.

The next afternoon, Anson had a long conversation with Mrs. Legendre while Paula listened quietly. They agreed that Paula should take some time to think about the incident, and then, if both mother and daughter felt it was the right choice, they would follow Anson to Pensacola. Anson, for his part, apologized sincerely and with composure—that was it; despite having every card in her hand, Mrs. Legendre couldn’t gain any advantage over him. He didn't make any promises or show any humbleness, only shared a few serious thoughts on life that left him with a sense of moral superiority in the end. When they headed South three weeks later, neither Anson in his satisfaction nor Paula in her relief at being reunited realized that the psychological moment had passed forever.







IV

He dominated and attracted her, and at the same time filled her with anxiety. Confused by his mixture of solidity and self-indulgence, of sentiment and cynicism—incongruities which her gentle mind was unable to resolve—Paula grew to think of him as two alternating personalities. When she saw him alone, or at a formal party, or with his casual inferiors, she felt a tremendous pride in his strong, attractive presence, the paternal, understanding stature of his mind. In other company she became uneasy when what had been a fine imperviousness to mere gentility showed its other face. The other face was gross, humorous, reckless of everything but pleasure. It startled her mind temporarily away from him, even led her into a short covert experiment with an old beau, but it was no use—after four months of Anson's enveloping vitality there was an anæmic pallor in all other men.

He captivated her and drew her in, while also making her anxious. Confused by his blend of strength and indulgence, of sentimentality and cynicism—contradictions her gentle mind couldn't reconcile—Paula started to see him as having two conflicting personalities. When she was with him alone, at a formal gathering, or surrounded by his lessers, she felt immense pride in his strong, appealing presence, the nurturing, insightful way he thought. In other situations, she felt uneasy when what had once been a solid resistance to mere niceness revealed its other side. That other side was crude, funny, and carefree, focused only on having fun. It briefly distracted her from him, even prompting her to revisit an old flame, but it didn't matter—after four months of Anson's all-encompassing energy, the other men seemed dull and lifeless in comparison.

In July he was ordered abroad, and their tenderness and desire reached a crescendo. Paula considered a last-minute marriage—decided against it only because there were always cocktails on his breath now, but the parting itself made her physically ill with grief. After his departure she wrote him long letters of regret for the days of love they had missed by waiting. In August Anson's plane slipped down into the North Sea. He was pulled onto a destroyer after a night in the water and sent to hospital with pneumonia; the armistice was signed before he was finally sent home.

In July, he was ordered to go abroad, and their affection and longing reached an intense peak. Paula thought about a last-minute wedding—she ultimately decided against it mainly because he always seemed to have cocktails on his breath now, but the goodbye itself made her feel physically ill with grief. After he left, she wrote him long letters expressing regret for the love they had missed by waiting. In August, Anson's plane went down into the North Sea. He was rescued onto a destroyer after spending a night in the water and was taken to the hospital with pneumonia; the armistice was signed before he was finally sent home.

Then, with every opportunity given back to them, with no material obstacle to overcome, the secret weavings of their temperaments came between them, drying up their kisses and their tears, making their voices less loud to one another, muffling the intimate chatter of their hearts until the old communication was only possible by letters, from far away. One afternoon a society reporter waited for two hours in the Hunters' house for a confirmation of their engagement. Anson denied it; nevertheless an early issue carried the report as a leading paragraph—they were "constantly seen together at Southampton, Hot Springs, and Tuxedo Park." But the serious dialogue had turned a corner into a long-sustained quarrel, and the affair was almost played out. Anson got drunk flagrantly and missed an engagement with her, whereupon Paula made certain behavioristic demands. His despair was helpless before his pride and his knowledge of himself: the engagement was definitely broken.

Then, with every opportunity handed back to them, with no material obstacles in their way, the hidden dynamics of their personalities came between them, drying up their kisses and tears, making their voices softer around each other, muffling the intimate conversations of their hearts until the old way of communicating was only possible through letters from afar. One afternoon, a society reporter waited for two hours at the Hunters' house for confirmation of their engagement. Anson denied it; however, an early issue ran the story as a lead—claiming they were "constantly seen together at Southampton, Hot Springs, and Tuxedo Park." But the serious discussions had turned into a long-standing argument, and the relationship was nearly over. Anson got openly drunk and missed a date with her, leading Paula to make certain demands about his behavior. His despair was powerless against his pride and self-awareness: the engagement was officially over.

"Dearest," said their letters now, "Dearest, Dearest, when I wake up in the middle of the night and realize that after all it was not to be, I feel that I want to die. I can't go on living any more. Perhaps when we meet this summer we may talk things over and decide differently—we were so excited and sad that day, and I don't feel that I can live all my life without you. You speak of other people. Don't you know there are no other people for me, but only you...."

"Dear," their letters now said, "Dear, Dear, when I wake up in the middle of the night and realize that it just wasn't meant to be, I feel like I want to die. I can't go on living like this anymore. Maybe when we meet this summer we can talk things over and come to a different decision—we were so excited and sad that day, and I don't think I can spend my whole life without you. You mention other people. Don't you see there are no other people for me, just you...."

But as Paula drifted here and there around the East she would sometimes mention her gaieties to make him wonder. Anson was too acute to wonder. When he saw a man's name in her letters he felt more sure of her and a little disdainful—he was always superior to such things. But he still hoped that they would some day marry.

But as Paula wandered around the East, she would occasionally mention her fun activities to make him curious. Anson was too sharp to actually be curious. When he saw a guy's name in her letters, he felt more confident about her and a bit dismissive—he always considered himself above that kind of stuff. But he still hoped they would eventually get married.

Meanwhile he plunged vigorously into all the movement and glitter of post-bellum New York, entering a brokerage house, joining half a dozen clubs, dancing late, and moving in three worlds—his own world, the world of young Yale graduates, and that section of the half-world which rests one end on Broadway. But there was always a thorough and infractible eight hours devoted to his work in Wall Street, where the combination of his influential family connection, his sharp intelligence, and his abundance of sheer physical energy brought him almost immediately forward. He had one of those invaluable minds with partitions in it; sometimes he appeared at his office refreshed by less than an hour's sleep, but such occurrences were rare. So early as 1920 his income in salary and commissions exceeded twelve thousand dollars.

Meanwhile, he threw himself into all the action and excitement of post-war New York, stepping into a brokerage firm, joining a handful of clubs, dancing late into the night, and mingling in three circles—his own circle, the circle of young Yale graduates, and that part of the nightlife that connects to Broadway. But he always committed a solid eight hours to his job on Wall Street, where his influential family connections, sharp intellect, and plenty of physical energy pushed him ahead almost instantly. He had one of those rare minds that compartmentalize well; sometimes he showed up at the office having had less than an hour of sleep, but those instances were uncommon. By 1920, his salary and commissions already topped twelve thousand dollars.

As the Yale tradition slipped into the past he became more and more of a popular figure among his classmates in New York, more popular than he had ever been in college. He lived in a great house, and had the means of introducing young men into other great houses. Moreover, his life already seemed secure, while theirs, for the most part, had arrived again at precarious beginnings. They commenced to turn to him for amusement and escape, and Anson responded readily, taking pleasure in helping people and arranging their affairs.

As the Yale tradition faded away, he became an increasingly popular figure among his classmates in New York, more popular than he had ever been in college. He lived in a big house and had the resources to introduce young men into other prominent circles. Plus, his life already seemed stable, while theirs had mostly returned to uncertain beginnings. They began to look to him for fun and a break from reality, and Anson happily obliged, taking joy in helping others and organizing their lives.

There were no men in Paula's letters now, but a note of tenderness ran through them that had not been there before. From several sources he heard that she had "a heavy beau," Lowell Thayer, a Bostonian of wealth and position, and though he was sure she still loved him, it made him uneasy to think that he might lose her, after all. Save for one unsatisfactory day she had not been in New York for almost five months, and as the rumors multiplied he became increasingly anxious to see her. In February he took his vacation and went down to Florida.

There were no guys in Paula's letters now, but there was a tenderness in them that hadn't been there before. He heard from various sources that she had "a serious boyfriend," Lowell Thayer, a wealthy Bostonian, and although he was certain she still loved him, it made him anxious to think he might lose her after all. Except for one unsatisfactory day, she hadn’t been in New York for almost five months, and as the rumors increased, he became more and more eager to see her. In February, he took his vacation and went down to Florida.

Palm Beach sprawled plump and opulent between the sparkling sapphire of Lake Worth, flawed here and there by house-boats at anchor, and the great turquoise bar of the Atlantic Ocean. The huge bulks of the Breakers and the Royal Poinciana rose as twin paunches from the bright level of the sand, and around them clustered the Dancing Glade, Bradley's House of Chance, and a dozen modistes and milliners with goods at triple prices from New York. Upon the trellissed veranda of the Breakers two hundred women stepped right, stepped left, wheeled, and slid in that then celebrated calisthenic known as the double-shuffle, while in half-time to the music two thousand bracelets clicked up and down on two hundred arms.

Palm Beach stretched out lush and luxurious between the sparkling blue of Lake Worth, occasionally interrupted by houseboats anchored nearby, and the vast blue expanse of the Atlantic Ocean. The massive structures of the Breakers and the Royal Poinciana loomed like twin stomachs from the bright, flat sand, surrounded by the Dancing Glade, Bradley's House of Chance, and a dozen fashion designers and hat makers selling items at three times the price of those in New York. On the trellised porch of the Breakers, two hundred women stepped right, stepped left, turned, and glided in that then-popular exercise known as the double-shuffle, while in sync with the music, two thousand bracelets jingled rhythmically on two hundred arms.

At the Everglades Club after dark Paula and Lowell Thayer and Anson and a casual fourth played bridge with hot cards. It seemed to Anson that her kind, serious face was wan and tired—she had been around now for four, five, years. He had known her for three.

At the Everglades Club after dark, Paula and Lowell Thayer, Anson, and a laid-back fourth player played bridge with exciting hands. Anson thought her kind, serious face looked pale and worn out—she had been around for four or five years now. He had known her for three.

"Two spades."

"Two shovels."

"Cigarette? ... Oh, I beg your pardon. By me."

"Cigarette? ... Oh, sorry about that. It's on me."

"By."

"By."

"I'll double three spades."

"I'll double three spades."

There were a dozen tables of bridge in the room, which was filling up with smoke. Anson's eyes met Paula's, held them persistently even when Thayer's glance fell between them....

There were twelve bridge tables in the room, which was getting filled with smoke. Anson's eyes locked onto Paula's and stayed there, even when Thayer's gaze came between them...

"What was bid?" he asked abstractedly.

"What was offered?" he asked, lost in thought.

"Rose of Washington Square"
"Rose of Washington Square"

sang the young people in the corners:

sang the young people in the corners:

"I'm withering there
"I'm fading away there"

In basement air——"
In the basement air—

The smoke banked like fog, and the opening of a door filled the room with blown swirls of ectoplasm. Little Bright Eyes streaked past the tables seeking Mr. Conan Doyle among the Englishmen who were posing as Englishmen about the lobby.

The smoke hung in the air like fog, and when a door opened, the room filled with swirling ectoplasm. Little Bright Eyes zipped past the tables, looking for Mr. Conan Doyle among the English guys pretending to be Englishmen in the lobby.

"You could cut it with a knife."

"You could cut it with a knife."

"... cut it with a knife."

"... cut it with a knife."

"... a knife."

"... a knife."

At the end of the rubber Paula suddenly got up and spoke to Anson in a tense, low voice. With scarcely a glance at Lowell Thayer, they walked out the door and descended a long flight of stone steps—in a moment they were walking hand in hand along the moonlit beach.

At the end of the game, Paula suddenly got up and spoke to Anson in a tense, quiet voice. Without really looking at Lowell Thayer, they walked out the door and went down a long flight of stone steps—in a moment, they were strolling hand in hand along the moonlit beach.

"Darling, darling...." They embraced recklessly, passionately, in a shadow.... Then Paula drew back her face to let his lips say what she wanted to hear—she could feel the words forming as they kissed again.... Again she broke away, listening, but as he pulled her close once more she realized that he had said nothing—only "Darling! Darling!" in that deep, sad whisper that always made her cry. Humbly, obediently, her emotions yielded to him and the tears streamed down her face, but her heart kept on crying: "Ask me—oh, Anson, dearest, ask me!"

"Darling, darling...." They embraced recklessly, passionately, in the shadows.... Then Paula pulled back slightly to let his lips express what she longed to hear—she could feel the words forming as they kissed again.... Once more, she broke away, listening, but as he drew her close again, she realized he hadn't said anything—only "Darling! Darling!" in that deep, sad whisper that always brought her to tears. Humbly, obediently, her emotions surrendered to him, and tears streamed down her face, but her heart kept crying: "Ask me—oh, Anson, my love, ask me!"

"Paula.... Paula!"

"Paula... Paula!"

The words wrung her heart like hands, and Anson, feeling her tremble, knew that emotion was enough. He need say no more, commit their destinies to no practical enigma. Why should he, when he might hold her so, biding his own time, for another year—forever? He was considering them both, her more than himself. For a moment, when she said suddenly that she must go back to her hotel, he hesitated, thinking, first, "This is the moment, after all," and then: "No, let it wait—she is mine...."

The words twisted her heart like hands, and Anson, sensing her tremble, realized that her emotion was enough. He didn’t need to say anything more or complicate their futures with any practical issues. Why should he, when he could hold her like this, waiting for his own moment, for another year—forever? He was thinking about both of them, especially her. For a moment, when she suddenly said she had to go back to her hotel, he hesitated, thinking, first, "This is the moment, after all," and then: "No, let it wait—she is mine...."

He had forgotten that Paula too was worn away inside with the strain of three years. Her mood passed forever in the night.

He had forgotten that Paula was also worn out inside from the stress of three years. Her mood disappeared forever in the night.

He went back to New York next morning filled with a certain restless dissatisfaction. Late in April, without warning, he received a telegram from Bar Harbor in which Paula told him that she was engaged to Lowell Thayer, and that they would be married immediately in Boston. What he never really believed could happen had happened at last.

He went back to New York the next morning feeling a sense of restless dissatisfaction. Late in April, out of the blue, he got a telegram from Bar Harbor where Paula informed him that she was engaged to Lowell Thayer and that they would be getting married right away in Boston. What he never really thought could happen had finally happened.

Anson filled himself with whiskey that morning, and going to the office, carried on his work without a break—rather with a fear of what would happen if he stopped. In the evening he went out as usual, saying nothing of what had occurred; he was cordial, humorous, unabstracted. But one thing he could not help—for three days, in any place, in any company, he would suddenly bend his head into his hands and cry like a child.

Anson drank whiskey heavily that morning, and when he got to the office, he worked without stopping—more out of fear of what would happen if he paused. In the evening, he went out as usual, not mentioning what had happened; he was friendly, funny, and present. But there was one thing he couldn't control—over the next three days, no matter where he was or who he was with, he would suddenly bow his head into his hands and cry like a child.







V

In 1922 when Anson went abroad with the junior partner to investigate some London loans, the journey intimated that he was to be taken into the firm. He was twenty-seven now, a little heavy without being definitely stout, and with a manner older than his years. Old people and young people liked him and trusted him, and mothers felt safe when their daughters were in his charge, for he had a way, when he came into a room, of putting himself on a footing with the oldest and most conservative people there. "You and I," he seemed to say, "we're solid. We understand."

In 1922, when Anson traveled abroad with the junior partner to look into some loans in London, the trip suggested that he was being considered for a position in the firm. He was now twenty-seven, slightly heavyset without being truly overweight, and carried himself with a maturity beyond his age. Both older and younger people liked and trusted him, and mothers felt their daughters were safe in his care because he had a way of entering a room that made him relatable to even the oldest and most traditional individuals present. "You and I," he seemed to convey, "we're on the same page. We get it."

He had an instinctive and rather charitable knowledge of the weaknesses of men and women, and, like a priest, it made him the more concerned for the maintenance of outward forms. It was typical of him that every Sunday morning he taught in a fashionable Episcopal Sunday-school—even though a cold shower and a quick change into a cutaway coat were all that separated him from the wild night before.

He had an intuitive and somewhat compassionate understanding of people's weaknesses, and, like a priest, it made him more focused on keeping up appearances. It was typical of him to teach at a trendy Episcopal Sunday school every Sunday morning—even though a cold shower and a quick change into a formal coat were all that stood between him and the wild night before.

After his father's death he was the practical head of his family, and, in effect, guided the destinies of the younger children. Through a complication his authority did not extend to his father's estate, which was administrated by his Uncle Robert, who was the horsey member of the family, a good-natured, hard-drinking member of that set which centres about Wheatley Hills.

After his father's death, he became the practical leader of his family and effectively shaped the futures of the younger siblings. Due to a complication, he didn’t have authority over his father’s estate, which was managed by his Uncle Robert, the horse-loving member of the family who was good-natured and a hard drinker, part of the social circle around Wheatley Hills.

Uncle Robert and his wife, Edna, had been great friends of Anson's youth, and the former was disappointed when his nephew's superiority failed to take a horsey form. He backed him for a city club which was the most difficult in America to enter—one could only join if one's family had "helped to build up New York" (or, in other words, were rich before 1880)—and when Anson, after his election, neglected it for the Yale Club, Uncle Robert gave him a little talk on the subject. But when on top of that Anson declined to enter Robert Hunter's own conservative and somewhat neglected brokerage house, his manner grew cooler. Like a primary teacher who has taught all he knew, he slipped out of Anson's life.

Uncle Robert and his wife, Edna, were close friends from Anson's youth, and Uncle Robert was let down when his nephew didn’t turn out to be the kind of prestigious person he hoped for. He sponsored him for a city club that was one of the hardest to get into in America—membership was only available to those whose families had "helped build up New York" (or, in simpler terms, were wealthy before 1880). When Anson, after getting elected, chose to focus on the Yale Club instead, Uncle Robert had a little chat with him about it. Things got even cooler between them when Anson also refused to join Robert Hunter's own conservative and somewhat overlooked brokerage firm. It was as if a primary school teacher, having taught all he could, quietly slipped out of Anson's life.

There were so many friends in Anson's life—scarcely one for whom he had not done some unusual kindness and scarcely one whom he did not occasionally embarrass by his bursts of rough conversation or his habit of getting drunk whenever and however he liked. It annoyed him when any one else blundered in that regard—about his own lapses he was always humorous. Odd things happened to him and he told them with infectious laughter.

There were so many friends in Anson's life—barely one he hadn’t shown some unexpected kindness to and hardly one he didn’t occasionally embarrass with his blunt talk or his tendency to drink too much whenever he wanted. It irritated him when anyone else made a mistake in that way—he always found humor in his own slip-ups. Weird things happened to him, and he shared those stories with contagious laughter.

I was working in New York that spring, and I used to lunch with him at the Yale Club, which my university was sharing until the completion of our own. I had read of Paula's marriage, and one afternoon, when I asked him about her, something moved him to tell me the story. After that he frequently invited me to family dinners at his house and behaved as though there was a special relation between us, as though with his confidence a little of that consuming memory had passed into me.

I was working in New York that spring, and I used to have lunch with him at the Yale Club, which my university was sharing until our own was finished. I had heard about Paula's marriage, and one afternoon, when I asked him about her, something prompted him to share the story. After that, he often invited me to family dinners at his home and acted like there was a special bond between us, as if with his trust, a bit of that intense memory had transferred to me.

I found that despite the trusting mothers, his attitude toward girls was not indiscriminately protective. It was up to the girl—if she showed an inclination toward looseness, she must take care of herself, even with him.

I found that even with trusting mothers, his attitude towards girls wasn't blindly protective. It was up to the girl—if she seemed inclined to be loose, she had to look out for herself, even around him.

"Life," he would explain sometimes, "has made a cynic of me."

"Life," he would sometimes explain, "has turned me into a cynic."

By life he meant Paula. Sometimes, especially when he was drinking, it became a little twisted in his mind, and he thought that she had callously thrown him over.

By "life," he meant Paula. Sometimes, especially when he was drinking, it got a little twisted in his mind, and he thought that she had heartlessly discarded him.

This "cynicism," or rather his realization that naturally fast girls were not worth sparing, led to his affair with Dolly Karger. It wasn't his only affair in those years, but it came nearest to touching him deeply, and it had a profound effect upon his attitude toward life.

This "cynicism," or really his understanding that naturally quick girls weren’t worth saving, led to his relationship with Dolly Karger. It wasn’t his only relationship during those years, but it was the one that affected him the most, and it had a significant impact on his outlook on life.

Dolly was the daughter of a notorious "publicist" who had married into society. She herself grew up into the Junior League, came out at the Plaza, and went to the Assembly; and only a few old families like the Hunters could question whether or not she "belonged," for her picture was often in the papers, and she had more enviable attention than many girls who undoubtedly did. She was dark-haired, with carmine lips and a high, lovely color, which she concealed under pinkish-gray powder all through the first year out, because high color was unfashionable—Victorian-pale was the thing to be. She wore black, severe suits and stood with her hands in her pockets leaning a little forward, with a humorous restraint on her face. She danced exquisitely—better than anything she liked to dance—better than anything except making love. Since she was ten she had always been in love, and, usually, with some boy who didn't respond to her. Those who did—and there were many—bored her after a brief encounter, but for her failures she reserved the warmest spot in her heart. When she met them she would always try once more—sometimes she succeeded, more often she failed.

Dolly was the daughter of a famous "publicist" who had married into high society. She grew up participating in the Junior League, made her debut at the Plaza, and attended the Assembly; only a few old families, like the Hunters, questioned whether she "belonged," since her picture frequently appeared in the news, and she received more attention than many girls who clearly did. She had dark hair, bright red lips, and a naturally rosy complexion, which she hid under pinkish-gray powder during her first year out, as a rosy glow was out of style—looking Victorian-pale was the trend. She wore sharp black suits and stood with her hands in her pockets, leaning slightly forward, with a humorously restrained expression. She danced beautifully—better than anything she enjoyed dancing—better than anything except falling in love. Since she was ten, she had always been in love, usually with some boy who didn't return her feelings. Those who did—and there were plenty—bored her after a brief flirtation, but she saved the warmest feelings for her unrequited crushes. When she encountered them, she would always try again—sometimes she succeeded, more often she didn’t.

It never occurred to this gypsy of the unattainable that there was a certain resemblance in those who refused to love her—they shared a hard intuition that saw through to her weakness, not a weakness of emotion but a weakness of rudder. Anson perceived this when he first met her, less than a month after Paula's marriage. He was drinking rather heavily, and he pretended for a week that he was falling in love with her. Then he dropped her abruptly and forgot—immediately he took up the commanding position in her heart.

It never crossed the mind of this wanderer of the unattainable that there was a certain similarity in those who turned away from her—they all possessed a sharp intuition that exposed her vulnerability, not a weakness of feelings but a lack of direction. Anson realized this when he first encountered her, less than a month after Paula's wedding. He was drinking quite a bit, and for a week he acted like he was falling for her. Then he suddenly cut ties and moved on—instantly, he took control of her heart.

Like so many girls of that day Dolly was slackly and indiscreetly wild. The unconventionality of a slightly older generation had been simply one facet of a post-war movement to discredit obsolete manners—Dolly's was both older and shabbier, and she saw in Anson the two extremes which the emotionally shiftless woman seeks, an abandon to indulgence alternating with a protective strength. In his character she felt both the sybarite and the solid rock, and these two satisfied every need of her nature.

Like many girls of her time, Dolly was carefree and a bit reckless. The unconventional behavior from a slightly older generation was just one aspect of a post-war movement to challenge outdated social norms—Dolly's was both older and more worn out, and she saw in Anson the two extremes that an emotionally restless woman looks for: a carefree indulgence balanced with a sense of security. In him, she felt both the pleasure-seeker and the dependable rock, and these two aspects fulfilled all her needs.

She felt that it was going to be difficult, but she mistook the reason—she thought that Anson and his family expected a more spectacular marriage, but she guessed immediately that her advantage lay in his tendency to drink.

She thought it was going to be hard, but she got the reason wrong—she believed that Anson and his family wanted a fancier wedding, but she quickly realized that her advantage was in his tendency to drink.

They met at the large débutante dances, but as her infatuation increased they managed to be more and more together. Like most mothers, Mrs. Karger believed that Anson was exceptionally reliable, so she allowed Dolly to go with him to distant country clubs and suburban houses without inquiring closely into their activities or questioning her explanations when they came in late. At first these explanations might have been accurate, but Dolly's worldly ideas of capturing Anson were soon engulfed in the rising sweep of her emotion. Kisses in the back of taxis and motor-cars were no longer enough; they did a curious thing:

They met at the big debutante dances, but as her crush grew stronger, they found ways to spend more time together. Like most moms, Mrs. Karger thought Anson was really dependable, so she let Dolly go with him to far-off country clubs and suburban homes without digging into what they were up to or questioning her stories when they came back late. At first, her explanations might have been true, but Dolly's ideas about winning Anson over quickly got swept up in her overwhelming feelings. Kisses in the back of taxis and cars weren't enough anymore; they started doing something unusual:

They dropped out of their world for a while and made another world just beneath it where Anson's tippling and Dolly's irregular hours would be less noticed and commented on. It was composed, this world, of varying elements—several of Anson's Yale friends and their wives, two or three young brokers and bond salesmen and a handful of unattached men, fresh from college, with money and a propensity to dissipation. What this world lacked in spaciousness and scale it made up for by allowing them a liberty that it scarcely permitted itself. Moreover, it centred around them and permitted Dolly the pleasure of a faint condescension—a pleasure which Anson, whose whole life was a condescension from the certitudes of his childhood, was unable to share.

They stepped away from their world for a bit and created a new world just underneath it, where Anson's drinking and Dolly's unpredictable hours would go unnoticed and uncriticized. This new world was made up of different elements—some of Anson's Yale friends and their wives, a couple of young brokers and bond salesmen, and a few single guys, fresh out of college, with money and a taste for partying. What this world lacked in space and scale, it made up for by giving them a freedom that hardly existed in their usual life. Plus, it revolved around them and allowed Dolly the enjoyment of a slight air of superiority—a satisfaction that Anson, whose entire life had been a retreat from the certainties of his upbringing, couldn't quite share.

He was not in love with her, and in the long feverish winter of their affair he frequently told her so. In the spring he was weary—he wanted to renew his life at some other source—moreover, he saw that either he must break with her now or accept the responsibility of a definite seduction. Her family's encouraging attitude precipitated his decision—one evening when Mr. Karger knocked discreetly at the library door to announce that he had left a bottle of old brandy in the dining-room, Anson felt that life was hemming him in. That night he wrote her a short letter in which he told her that he was going on his vacation, and that in view of all the circumstances they had better meet no more.

He wasn't in love with her, and during the long, intense winter of their relationship, he often told her that. By spring, he was exhausted—he wanted to refresh his life at a different source—besides, he realized he either had to break up with her now or take on the responsibility of a serious relationship. Her family's supportive attitude made his decision easier—one evening, when Mr. Karger knocked quietly at the library door to say he had left a bottle of old brandy in the dining room, Anson felt trapped. That night, he wrote her a brief letter saying he was going on vacation and that given the circumstances, it was best if they didn't see each other again.

It was June. His family had closed up the house and gone to the country, so he was living temporarily at the Yale Club. I had heard about his affair with Dolly as it developed—accounts salted with humor, for he despised unstable women, and granted them no place in the social edifice in which he believed—and when he told me that night that he was definitely breaking with her I was glad. I had seen Dolly here and there, and each time with a feeling of pity at the hopelessness of her struggle, and of shame at knowing so much about her that I had no right to know. She was what is known as "a pretty little thing," but there was a certain recklessness which rather fascinated me. Her dedication to the goddess of waste would have been less obvious had she been less spirited—she would most certainly throw herself away, but I was glad when I heard that the sacrifice would not be consummated in my sight.

It was June. His family had shut up the house and headed to the countryside, so he was temporarily staying at the Yale Club. I had heard about his relationship with Dolly as it unfolded—stories sprinkled with humor, since he couldn't stand unstable women and gave them no place in the social structure he believed in—and when he told me that night he was definitely breaking up with her, I was relieved. I had seen Dolly here and there, and each time I felt pity for her hopeless struggle and shame for knowing so much about her that I shouldn’t have. She was what you’d call "a pretty little thing," but there was a certain recklessness that intrigued me. Her commitment to the goddess of waste would have been less obvious if she hadn’t been so spirited—she would definitely throw herself away, but I was glad to hear that the sacrifice wouldn’t happen in front of me.

Anson was going to leave the letter of farewell at her house next morning. It was one of the few houses left open in the Fifth Avenue district, and he knew that the Kargers, acting upon erroneous information from Dolly, had foregone a trip abroad to give their daughter her chance. As he stepped out the door of the Yale Club into Madison Avenue the postman passed him, and he followed back inside. The first letter that caught his eye was in Dolly's hand.

Anson was planning to leave the farewell letter at her house the next morning. It was one of the few houses still open in the Fifth Avenue area, and he knew that the Kargers, acting on incorrect information from Dolly, had canceled a trip abroad to give their daughter a chance. As he stepped out the door of the Yale Club onto Madison Avenue, the postman walked past him, and he went back inside. The first letter that caught his eye was written in Dolly's handwriting.

He knew what it would be—a lonely and tragic monologue, full of the reproaches he knew, the invoked memories, the "I wonder if's"—all the immemorial intimacies that he had communicated to Paula Legendre in what seemed another age. Thumbing over some bills, he brought it on top again and opened it. To his surprise it was a short, somewhat formal note, which said that Dolly would be unable to go to the country with him for the week-end, because Perry Hull from Chicago had unexpectedly come to town. It added that Anson had brought this on himself: "—if I felt that you loved me as I love you I would go with you at any time, any place, but Perry is so nice, and he so much wants me to marry him——"

He knew what it would be—a lonely and tragic monologue, full of the accusations he recognized, the memories that came flooding back, the "I wonder if's"—all the timeless secrets he had shared with Paula Legendre in what felt like another lifetime. Flipping through some bills, he came across it again and opened it. To his surprise, it was a short, somewhat formal note that said Dolly wouldn't be able to go to the country with him for the weekend because Perry Hull from Chicago had unexpectedly come to town. It added that Anson had brought this on himself: "—if I felt that you loved me as I love you I would go with you anytime, anywhere, but Perry is so nice, and he really wants me to marry him——"

Anson smiled contemptuously—he had had experience with such decoy epistles. Moreover, he knew how Dolly had labored over this plan, probably sent for the faithful Perry and calculated the time of his arrival—even labored over the note so that it would make him jealous without driving him away. Like most compromises, it had neither force nor vitality but only a timorous despair.

Anson smirked with disdain—he had dealt with these kinds of trick letters before. Plus, he was aware of how much effort Dolly had put into this scheme, likely calling for the loyal Perry and timing his arrival perfectly—even crafting the message so it would make him jealous without pushing him away. Like most compromises, it lacked strength and energy, leaving only a timid hopelessness.

Suddenly he was angry. He sat down in the lobby and read it again. Then he went to the phone, called Dolly and told her in his clear, compelling voice that he had received her note and would call for her at five o'clock as they had previously planned. Scarcely waiting for the pretended uncertainty of her "Perhaps I can see you for an hour," he hung up the receiver and went down to his office. On the way he tore his own letter into bits and dropped it in the street.

Suddenly, he was filled with anger. He sat down in the lobby and read it again. Then he went to the phone, called Dolly, and told her in his clear, confident voice that he had gotten her note and would pick her up at five o'clock as they had agreed. Barely waiting for her feigned hesitation of "Maybe I can see you for an hour," he hung up the phone and headed to his office. On the way, he ripped his own letter into pieces and tossed it in the street.

He was not jealous—she meant nothing to him—but at her pathetic ruse everything stubborn and self-indulgent in him came to the surface. It was a presumption from a mental inferior and it could not be overlooked. If she wanted to know to whom she belonged she would see.

He wasn't jealous—she meant nothing to him—but her pathetic act brought out everything stubborn and selfish in him. It was presumptuous for someone so mentally inferior, and it couldn't be ignored. If she wanted to know who she truly belonged to, she would find out.

He was on the door-step at quarter past five. Dolly was dressed for the street, and he listened in silence to the paragraph of "I can only see you for an hour," which she had begun on the phone.

He was on the doorstep at 5:15. Dolly was dressed to go out, and he listened quietly to the part of "I can only see you for an hour," which she had started on the phone.

"Put on your hat, Dolly," he said, "we'll take a walk."

"Put on your hat, Dolly," he said, "let's go for a walk."

They strolled up Madison Avenue and over to Fifth while Anson's shirt dampened upon his portly body in the deep heat. He talked little, scolding her, making no love to her, but before they had walked six blocks she was his again, apologizing for the note, offering not to see Perry at all as an atonement, offering anything. She thought that he had come because he was beginning to love her.

They walked up Madison Avenue and over to Fifth as Anson's shirt became damp against his thick body in the intense heat. He didn't talk much, scolding her and showing no affection, but after they had walked six blocks, she was his again, apologizing for the note, offering not to see Perry at all as a way to make up for it, offering anything. She believed he had come because he was starting to love her.

"I'm hot," he said when they reached 71st Street. "This is a winter suit. If I stop by the house and change, would you mind waiting for me down-stairs? I'll only be a minute."

"I'm really hot," he said when they reached 71st Street. "This is a winter suit. If I stop by the house and change, would you mind waiting for me downstairs? I'll only be a minute."

She was happy; the intimacy of his being hot, of any physical fact about him, thrilled her. When they came to the iron-grated door and Anson took out his key she experienced a sort of delight.

She was happy; the closeness of his warmth, anything physical about him, excited her. When they reached the iron-grated door and Anson pulled out his key, she felt a sense of joy.

Down-stairs it was dark, and after he ascended in the lift Dolly raised a curtain and looked out through opaque lace at the houses over the way. She heard the lift machinery stop, and with the notion of teasing him pressed the button that brought it down. Then on what was more than an impulse she got into it and sent it up to what she guessed was his floor.

Downstairs it was dark, and after he took the lift up, Dolly pulled back a curtain and peeked through the opaque lace at the houses across the street. She heard the lift's machinery stop, and wanting to tease him, she pressed the button to bring it down. Then, on more than just a whim, she hopped in and sent it up to what she assumed was his floor.

"Anson," she called, laughing a little.

"Anson," she called, chuckling a bit.

"Just a minute," he answered from his bedroom ... then after a brief delay: "Now you can come in."

"Just a minute," he replied from his bedroom ... then after a short pause: "You can come in now."

He had changed and was buttoning his vest. "This is my room," he said lightly. "How do you like it?"

He had changed and was buttoning his vest. "This is my room," he said casually. "What do you think of it?"

She caught sight of Paula's picture on the wall and stared at it in fascination, just as Paula had stared at the pictures of Anson's childish sweethearts five years before. She knew something about Paula—sometimes she tortured herself with fragments of the story.

She saw Paula's picture on the wall and couldn't take her eyes off it, just like Paula had done with the pictures of Anson's childhood crushes five years earlier. She knew some things about Paula—sometimes she tormented herself with bits of the story.

Suddenly she came close to Anson, raising her arms. They embraced. Outside the area window a soft artificial twilight already hovered, though the sun was still bright on a back roof across the way. In half an hour the room would be quite dark. The uncalculated opportunity overwhelmed them, made them both breathless, and they clung more closely. It was eminent, inevitable. Still holding one another, they raised their heads—their eyes fell together upon Paula's picture, staring down at them from the wall.

Suddenly, she moved closer to Anson, raising her arms. They embraced. Outside the window, a soft artificial twilight already lingered, even though the sun was still shining brightly on a rooftop across the street. In half an hour, the room would be completely dark. The unexpected opportunity overwhelmed them, leaving them both breathless, and they held on to each other more tightly. It felt imminent, inevitable. Still holding one another, they lifted their heads—their eyes landed simultaneously on Paula's picture, staring down at them from the wall.

Suddenly Anson dropped his arms, and sitting down at his desk tried the drawer with a bunch of keys.

Suddenly, Anson dropped his arms and sat down at his desk, trying the drawer with a set of keys.

"Like a drink?" he asked in a gruff voice.

"Want a drink?" he asked in a rough voice.

"No, Anson."

"No way, Anson."

He poured himself half a tumbler of whiskey, swallowed it, and then opened the door into the hall.

He poured himself half a glass of whiskey, drank it down, and then opened the door into the hallway.

"Come on," he said.

"Let's go," he said.

Dolly hesitated.

Dolly hesitated.

"Anson—I'm going to the country with you to-night, after all. You understand that, don't you?"

"Anson—I’m going to the country with you tonight, after all. You get that, right?"

"Of course," he answered brusquely.

"Sure," he replied curtly.

In Dolly's car they rode on to Long Island, closer in their emotions than they had ever been before. They knew what would happen—not with Paula's face to remind them that something was lacking, but when they were alone in the still, hot Long Island night they did not care.

In Dolly's car, they drove on to Long Island, feeling closer than they ever had before. They knew what would happen—not with Paula's face reminding them that something was missing, but when they were alone in the quiet, hot Long Island night, they didn't care.

The estate in Port Washington where they were to spend the week-end belonged to a cousin of Anson's who had married a Montana copper operator. An interminable drive began at the lodge and twisted under imported poplar saplings toward a huge, pink, Spanish house. Anson had often visited there before.

The estate in Port Washington where they were set to spend the weekend belonged to Anson's cousin, who had married a copper operator from Montana. An endless drive started at the lodge and wound under imported poplar trees toward a large, pink Spanish-style house. Anson had visited there many times before.

After dinner they danced at the Linx Club. About midnight Anson assured himself that his cousins would not leave before two—then he explained that Dolly was tired; he would take her home and return to the dance later. Trembling a little with excitement, they got into a borrowed car together and drove to Port Washington. As they reached the lodge he stopped and spoke to the night-watchman.

After dinner, they danced at the Linx Club. Around midnight, Anson made sure that his cousins wouldn’t leave before two—then he explained that Dolly was tired; he would take her home and come back to the dance later. A bit trembling with excitement, they got into a borrowed car together and drove to Port Washington. When they arrived at the lodge, he stopped and talked to the night-watchman.

"When are you making a round, Carl?"

"When are you doing a round, Carl?"

"Right away."

"Right now."

"Then you'll be here till everybody's in?"

"Are you planning to stay here until everyone arrives?"

"Yes, sir."

"Yes, sir."

"All right. Listen: if any automobile, no matter whose it is, turns in at this gate, I want you to phone the house immediately." He put a five-dollar bill into Carl's hand. "Is that clear?"

"Okay. Listen up: if any car, no matter whose it is, comes through this gate, I need you to call the house right away." He placed a five-dollar bill in Carl's hand. "Got it?"

"Yes, Mr. Anson." Being of the Old World, he neither winked nor smiled. Yet Dolly sat with her face turned slightly away.

"Yeah, Mr. Anson." Coming from the Old World, he neither winked nor smiled. But Dolly sat with her face turned slightly away.

Anson had a key. Once inside he poured a drink for both of them—Dolly left hers untouched—then he ascertained definitely the location of the phone, and found that it was within easy hearing distance of their rooms, both of which were on the first floor.

Anson had a key. Once inside, he poured a drink for both of them—Dolly left hers untouched—then he confirmed the location of the phone and discovered that it was within easy hearing distance of their rooms, both of which were on the first floor.

Five minutes later he knocked at the door of Dolly's room.

Five minutes later, he knocked on the door of Dolly's room.

"Anson?" He went in, closing the door behind him. She was in bed, leaning up anxiously with elbows on the pillow; sitting beside her he took her in his arms.

"Anson?" He walked in, shutting the door behind him. She was in bed, propped up anxiously with her elbows on the pillow; as he sat beside her, he wrapped her in his arms.

"Anson, darling."

"Anson, love."

He didn't answer.

He didn't reply.

"Anson.... Anson! I love you.... Say you love me. Say it now—can't you say it now? Even if you don't mean it?"

"Anson.... Anson! I love you.... Just say you love me. Say it now—can't you say it now? Even if you don't really mean it?"

He did not listen. Over her head he perceived that the picture of Paula was hanging here upon this wall.

He didn’t listen. Above her head, he noticed that the picture of Paula was hanging on this wall.

He got up and went close to it. The frame gleamed faintly with thrice-reflected moonlight—within was a blurred shadow of a face that he saw he did not know. Almost sobbing, he turned around and stared with abomination at the little figure on the bed.

He got up and moved closer to it. The frame shone softly with moonlight reflecting three times—inside was a blurry shadow of a face that he realized he didn’t recognize. Almost sobbing, he turned around and looked in horror at the small figure on the bed.

"This is all foolishness," he said thickly. "I don't know what I was thinking about. I don't love you and you'd better wait for somebody that loves you. I don't love you a bit, can't you understand?"

"This is all nonsense," he said heavily. "I don't know what I was thinking. I don't love you, and you should wait for someone who does. I don’t love you at all; can’t you see that?"

His voice broke, and he went hurriedly out. Back in the salon he was pouring himself a drink with uneasy fingers, when the front door opened suddenly, and his cousin came in.

His voice cracked, and he rushed out. Back in the living room, he was pouring himself a drink with shaky hands when the front door swung open unexpectedly, and his cousin walked in.

"Why, Anson, I hear Dolly's sick," she began solicitously. "I hear she's sick...."

"Why, Anson, I heard that Dolly is sick," she started concernedly. "I heard she's sick...."

"It was nothing," he interrupted, raising his voice so that it would carry into Dolly's room. "She was a little tired. She went to bed."

"It was nothing," he interrupted, raising his voice so it would reach Dolly's room. "She was just a bit tired. She went to bed."

For a long time afterward Anson believed that a protective God sometimes interfered in human affairs. But Dolly Karger, lying awake and staring at the ceiling, never again believed in anything at all.

For a long time afterward, Anson believed that a protective God sometimes intervened in human affairs. But Dolly Karger, lying awake and staring at the ceiling, never believed in anything again.







VI

When Dolly married during the following autumn, Anson was in London on business. Like Paula's marriage, it was sudden, but it affected him in a different way. At first he felt that it was funny, and had an inclination to laugh when he thought of it. Later it depressed him—it made him feel old.

When Dolly got married that autumn, Anson was in London for work. Just like Paula's wedding, it happened quickly, but it impacted him differently. At first, he found it amusing and wanted to laugh when he thought about it. Later, though, it brought him down—it made him feel old.

There was something repetitive about it—why, Paula and Dolly had belonged to different generations. He had a foretaste of the sensation of a man of forty who hears that the daughter of an old flame has married. He wired congratulations and, as was not the case with Paula, they were sincere—he had never really hoped that Paula would be happy.

There was something repetitive about it—after all, Paula and Dolly were from different generations. He experienced that feeling a forty-year-old man has when he learns that the daughter of an old crush has gotten married. He sent his congratulations, which, unlike with Paula, were genuine—he had never actually hoped that Paula would find happiness.

When he returned to New York, he was made a partner in the firm, and, as his responsibilities increased, he had less time on his hands. The refusal of a life-insurance company to issue him a policy made such an impression on him that he stopped drinking for a year, and claimed that he felt better physically, though I think he missed the convivial recounting of those Celliniesque adventures which, in his early twenties, had played such a part of his life. But he never abandoned the Yale Club. He was a figure there, a personality, and the tendency of his class, who were now seven years out of college, to drift away to more sober haunts was checked by his presence.

When he got back to New York, he became a partner at the firm, and as his responsibilities grew, he had less free time. The refusal of a life-insurance company to give him a policy affected him so much that he quit drinking for a year, claiming he felt better physically, although I think he missed the lively storytelling of those Celliniesque adventures that had been such a big part of his life in his early twenties. But he never left the Yale Club. He was a recognizable figure there, a personality, and the tendency of his classmates, who were now seven years out of college, to move on to more serious places was held in check by his presence.

His day was never too full nor his mind too weary to give any sort of aid to any one who asked it. What had been done at first through pride and superiority had become a habit and a passion. And there was always something—a younger brother in trouble at New Haven, a quarrel to be patched up between a friend and his wife, a position to be found for this man, an investment for that. But his specialty was the solving of problems for young married people. Young married people fascinated him and their apartments were almost sacred to him—he knew the story of their love-affair, advised them where to live and how, and remembered their babies' names. Toward young wives his attitude was circumspect: he never abused the trust which their husbands—strangely enough in view of his unconcealed irregularities—invariably reposed in him.

His days were never too busy, nor was his mind ever too tired to help anyone who asked. What started out as pride and a sense of superiority had turned into a habit and a passion. There was always something—like a younger brother in trouble at New Haven, a conflict to be resolved between a friend and his wife, a job to find for someone, or an investment for another. But his main focus was helping young married couples. He found young married couples fascinating, and their homes felt almost sacred to him—he knew the story of their romance, advised them on where and how to live, and remembered their babies' names. He was careful around young wives, never betraying the trust that their husbands—strangely enough, considering his open irregularities—always placed in him.

He came to take a vicarious pleasure in happy marriages, and to be inspired to an almost equally pleasant melancholy by those that went astray. Not a season passed that he did not witness the collapse of an affair that perhaps he himself had fathered. When Paula was divorced and almost immediately remarried to another Bostonian, he talked about her to me all one afternoon. He would never love any one as he had loved Paula, but he insisted that he no longer cared.

He found joy in other people's happy marriages and felt a bittersweet sort of sadness from those that fell apart. Not a season went by without him seeing a relationship fail that he might have had a hand in. When Paula got divorced and quickly remarried another guy from Boston, he spent an entire afternoon talking about her to me. He claimed he would never love anyone the way he loved Paula, but he insisted he didn't care anymore.

"I'll never marry," he came to say; "I've seen too much of it, and I know a happy marriage is a very rare thing. Besides, I'm too old."

"I'll never get married," he said; "I've seen too much of it, and I know a happy marriage is quite rare. Plus, I'm too old."

But he did believe in marriage. Like all men who spring from a happy and successful marriage, he believed in it passionately—nothing he had seen would change his belief, his cynicism dissolved upon it like air. But he did really believe he was too old. At twenty-eight he began to accept with equanimity the prospect of marrying without romantic love; he resolutely chose a New York girl of his own class, pretty, intelligent, congenial, above reproach—and set about falling in love with her. The things he had said to Paula with sincerity, to other girls with grace, he could no longer say at all without smiling, or with the force necessary to convince.

But he did believe in marriage. Like all men who come from a happy and successful marriage, he believed in it passionately—nothing he had seen could change his belief; his cynicism faded away like mist. Still, he really thought he was too old for it. At twenty-eight, he began to accept calmly the idea of marrying without romantic love; he decided on a New York girl from his own social circle, someone pretty, smart, easy to get along with, and without flaws—and started trying to fall in love with her. The things he had said to Paula with genuine feeling, and to other girls with charm, he could no longer say at all without smiling, or with the intensity needed to make it convincing.

"When I'm forty," he told his friends, "I'll be ripe. I'll fall for some chorus girl like the rest."

"When I'm forty," he told his friends, "I'll be at my peak. I'll end up falling for some chorus girl like everyone else."

Nevertheless, he persisted in his attempt. His mother wanted to see him married, and he could now well afford it—he had a seat on the Stock Exchange, and his earned income came to twenty-five thousand a year. The idea was agreeable: when his friends—he spent most of his time with the set he and Dolly had evolved—closed themselves in behind domestic doors at night, he no longer rejoiced in his freedom. He even wondered if he should have married Dolly. Not even Paula had loved him more, and he was learning the rarity, in a single life, of encountering true emotion.

Nevertheless, he kept trying. His mother wanted to see him get married, and he could easily afford it now—he had a seat on the Stock Exchange, and his income was twenty-five thousand a year. The idea was appealing: when his friends—he spent most of his time with the group he and Dolly had formed—shut themselves in behind their family doors at night, he no longer enjoyed his freedom. He even questioned whether he should have married Dolly. Not even Paula had loved him more, and he was realizing how rare it was to experience genuine emotion while single.

Just as this mood began to creep over him a disquieting story reached his ear. His aunt Edna, a woman just this side of forty, was carrying on an open intrigue with a dissolute, hard-drinking young man named Cary Sloane. Every one knew of it except Anson's Uncle Robert, who for fifteen years had talked long in clubs and taken his wife for granted.

Just as this mood started to settle in, a troubling story came to his attention. His aunt Edna, a woman in her late thirties, was having an open affair with a reckless, hard-drinking guy named Cary Sloane. Everyone was aware of it except for Anson's Uncle Robert, who for the past fifteen years had chatted away in clubs and taken his wife for granted.

Anson heard the story again and again with increasing annoyance. Something of his old feeling for his uncle came back to him, a feeling that was more than personal, a reversion toward that family solidarity on which he had based his pride. His intuition singled out the essential point of the affair, which was that his uncle shouldn't be hurt. It was his first experiment in unsolicited meddling, but with his knowledge of Edna's character he felt that he could handle the matter better than a district judge or his uncle.

Anson listened to the story repeatedly, growing more annoyed each time. A part of his old feelings for his uncle resurfaced, a sentiment that went beyond just personal ties, a return to that family unity that he had always taken pride in. His instincts focused on the key issue, which was that his uncle shouldn't be hurt. It was his first attempt at meddling without being asked, but with his understanding of Edna's character, he felt he could manage the situation better than a district judge or his uncle.

His uncle was in Hot Springs. Anson traced down the sources of the scandal so that there should be no possibility of mistake and then he called Edna and asked her to lunch with him at the Plaza next day. Something in his tone must have frightened her, for she was reluctant, but he insisted, putting off the date until she had no excuse for refusing.

His uncle was in Hot Springs. Anson tracked down the sources of the scandal to avoid any mistakes, and then he called Edna to invite her to lunch with him at the Plaza the next day. There was something in his tone that seemed to scare her, so she hesitated, but he pushed, postponing the date until she had no reason to say no.

She met him at the appointed time in the Plaza lobby, a lovely, faded, gray-eyed blonde in a coat of Russian sable. Five great rings, cold with diamonds and emeralds, sparkled on her slender hands. It occurred to Anson that it was his father's intelligence and not his uncle's that had earned the fur and the stones, the rich brilliance that buoyed up her passing beauty.

She met him at the agreed time in the Plaza lobby, a beautiful, faded, gray-eyed blonde in a Russian sable coat. Five stunning rings, glistening with diamonds and emeralds, sparkled on her delicate hands. Anson realized it was his father's smarts, not his uncle's, that had brought the fur and the jewels, the rich shine that enhanced her fleeting beauty.

Though Edna scented his hostility, she was unprepared for the directness of his approach.

Though Edna sensed his hostility, she was not ready for the straightforwardness of his approach.

"Edna, I'm astonished at the way you've been acting," he said in a strong, frank voice. "At first I couldn't believe it."

"Edna, I'm amazed by how you've been acting," he said in a strong, straightforward tone. "At first, I couldn't wrap my head around it."

"Believe what?" she demanded sharply.

"Believe what?" she asked sharply.

"You needn't pretend with me, Edna. I'm talking about Cary Sloane. Aside from any other consideration, I didn't think you could treat Uncle Robert——"

"You don't have to pretend with me, Edna. I'm talking about Cary Sloane. Putting everything else aside, I didn't think you could treat Uncle Robert——"

"Now look here, Anson—" she began angrily, but his peremptory voice broke through hers:

"Listen up, Anson—" she started, irritated, but his commanding voice interrupted her:

"—and your children in such a way. You've been married eighteen years, and you're old enough to know better."

"—and your kids like that. You've been married eighteen years, and you should know better."

"You can't talk to me like that! You——"

"You can't speak to me like that! You——"

"Yes, I can. Uncle Robert has always been my best friend." He was tremendously moved. He felt a real distress about his uncle, about his three young cousins.

"Yeah, I can. Uncle Robert has always been my best friend." He was really touched. He felt genuine concern for his uncle and his three young cousins.

Edna stood up, leaving her crab-flake cocktail untasted.

Edna stood up, leaving her crab-flake cocktail untouched.

"This is the silliest thing——"

"This is the dumbest thing——"

"Very well, if you won't listen to me I'll go to Uncle Robert and tell him the whole story—he's bound to hear it sooner or later. And afterward I'll go to old Moses Sloane."

"Fine, if you won't listen to me, I'll go to Uncle Robert and tell him everything—he’s going to find out sooner or later. After that, I'll head over to old Moses Sloane."

Edna faltered back into her chair.

Edna stumbled back into her chair.

"Don't talk so loud," she begged him. Her eyes blurred with tears. "You have no idea how your voice carries. You might have chosen a less public place to make all these crazy accusations."

"Don't talk so loudly," she pleaded with him. Her eyes were filled with tears. "You have no idea how far your voice travels. You could have picked a less public place to make all these wild accusations."

He didn't answer.

He didn't reply.

"Oh, you never liked me, I know," she went on. "You're just taking advantage of some silly gossip to try and break up the only interesting friendship I've ever had. What did I ever do to make you hate me so?"

"Oh, I know you never liked me," she continued. "You're just using some ridiculous gossip to try to break up the only interesting friendship I've ever had. What did I ever do to make you hate me so much?"

Still Anson waited. There would be the appeal to his chivalry, then to his pity, finally to his superior sophistication—when he had shouldered his way through all these there would be admissions, and he could come to grips with her. By being silent, by being impervious, by returning constantly to his main weapon, which was his own true emotion, he bullied her into frantic despair as the luncheon hour slipped away. At two o'clock she took out a mirror and a handkerchief, shined away the marks of her tears and powdered the slight hollows where they had lain. She had agreed to meet him at her own house at five.

Still, Anson waited. There would be the appeal to his sense of honor, then to his compassion, and finally to his greater understanding—once he had pushed through all of that, there would be confessions, and he could confront her. By staying quiet, by being untouchable, and by constantly relying on his main tool, which was his own genuine feelings, he pressured her into a state of frantic despair as lunchtime went by. At two o'clock, she pulled out a mirror and a handkerchief, wiped away the traces of her tears, and touched up the small indentations where they had been. She had agreed to meet him at her place at five.

When he arrived she was stretched on a chaise-longue which was covered with cretonne for the summer, and the tears he had called up at luncheon seemed still to be standing in her eyes. Then he was aware of Cary Sloane's dark anxious presence upon the cold hearth.

When he arrived, she was lying on a chaise-longue that was covered with cotton fabric for the summer, and the tears he had brought up at lunch still seemed to be in her eyes. Then he noticed Cary Sloane's dark, worried figure on the cold hearth.

"What's this idea of yours?" broke out Sloane immediately. "I understand you invited Edna to lunch and then threatened her on the basis of some cheap scandal."

"What's this idea you have?" Sloane said right away. "I hear you invited Edna to lunch and then blackmailed her with some petty gossip."

Anson sat down.

Anson took a seat.

"I have no reason to think it's only scandal."

"I have no reason to believe it's just a scandal."

"I hear you're going to take it to Robert Hunter, and to my father."

"I hear you're planning to take it to Robert Hunter and my dad."

Anson nodded.

Anson agreed.

"Either you break it off—or I will," he said.

"Either you end it—or I will," he said.

"What God damned business is it of yours, Hunter?"

"What the hell business is it of yours, Hunter?"

"Don't lose your temper, Cary," said Edna nervously. "It's only a question of showing him how absurd——"

"Don't lose your cool, Cary," Edna said anxiously. "It's just a matter of showing him how ridiculous——"

"For one thing, it's my name that's being handed around," interrupted Anson. "That's all that concerns you, Cary."

"For one thing, it's my name that’s being tossed around," Anson interrupted. "That’s all that matters to you, Cary."

"Edna isn't a member of your family."

"Edna isn't part of your family."

"She most certainly is!" His anger mounted. "Why—she owes this house and the rings on her fingers to my father's brains. When Uncle Robert married her she didn't have a penny."

"She definitely is!" His anger rose. "I mean—she owes this house and the rings on her fingers to my father's smarts. When Uncle Robert married her, she didn't have a dime."

They all looked at the rings as if they had a significant bearing on the situation. Edna made a gesture to take them from her hand.

They all stared at the rings as if they were really important to the situation. Edna reached out to take them from her hand.

"I guess they're not the only rings in the world," said Sloane.

"I guess they’re not the only rings out there," Sloane said.

"Oh, this is absurd," cried Edna. "Anson, will you listen to me? I've found out how the silly story started. It was a maid I discharged who went right to the Chilicheffs—all these Russians pump things out of their servants and then put a false meaning on them." She brought down her fist angrily on the table: "And after Tom lent them the limousine for a whole month when we were South last winter——"

"Oh, this is ridiculous," Edna exclaimed. "Anson, will you just hear me out? I figured out how this crazy rumor began. It was a maid I fired who went straight to the Chilicheffs—all these Russians get stories from their servants and twist them around." She slammed her fist angrily on the table: "And after Tom let them borrow the limousine for a whole month while we were in the South last winter——"

"Do you see?" demanded Sloane eagerly. "This maid got hold of the wrong end of the thing. She knew that Edna and I were friends, and she carried it to the Chilicheffs. In Russia they assume that if a man and a woman——"

"Do you see?" Sloane asked eagerly. "This maid completely misunderstood the situation. She knew that Edna and I were friends, and she took that information to the Chilicheffs. In Russia, they think that if a man and a woman——"

He enlarged the theme to a disquisition upon social relations in the Caucasus.

He expanded the topic to a discussion about social relationships in the Caucasus.

"If that's the case it better be explained to Uncle Robert," said Anson dryly, "so that when the rumors do reach him he'll know they're not true."

"If that's the case, it better be explained to Uncle Robert," Anson said flatly, "so that when the rumors reach him, he’ll know they’re not true."

Adopting the method he had followed with Edna at luncheon he let them explain it all away. He knew that they were guilty and that presently they would cross the line from explanation into justification and convict themselves more definitely than he could ever do. By seven they had taken the desperate step of telling him the truth—Robert Hunter's neglect, Edna's empty life, the casual dalliance that had flamed up into passion—but like so many true stories it had the misfortune of being old, and its enfeebled body beat helplessly against the armor of Anson's will. The threat to go to Sloane's father sealed their helplessness, for the latter, a retired cotton broker out of Alabama, was a notorious fundamentalist who controlled his son by a rigid allowance and the promise that at his next vagary the allowance would stop forever.

Using the same approach he had taken with Edna at lunch, he let them talk it all out. He knew they were guilty and that soon they would shift from explaining to justifying their actions, ultimately condemning themselves more effectively than he ever could. By seven, they had made the desperate choice to tell him the truth—Robert Hunter’s neglect, Edna’s unfulfilled life, the casual fling that had turned into a passionate affair—but like many true stories, it was outdated, and its weakened narrative struggled against the strength of Anson’s will. The threat of going to Sloane’s father highlighted their powerlessness, as the latter, a retired cotton broker from Alabama, was a well-known fundamentalist who controlled his son through a strict allowance and the warning that any misstep would result in the allowance being cut off permanently.

They dined at a small French restaurant, and the discussion continued—at one time Sloane resorted to physical threats, a little later they were both imploring him to give them time. But Anson was obdurate. He saw that Edna was breaking up, and that her spirit must not be refreshed by any renewal of their passion.

They had dinner at a little French restaurant, and the conversation went on—at one point, Sloane made some physical threats, and a bit later, they were both begging him to give them some time. But Anson was stubborn. He noticed that Edna was falling apart, and he knew her spirit shouldn't be uplifted by rekindling their passion.

At two o'clock in a small night-club on 53d Street, Edna's nerves suddenly collapsed, and she cried to go home. Sloane had been drinking heavily all evening, and he was faintly maudlin, leaning on the table and weeping a little with his face in his hands. Quickly Anson gave them his terms. Sloane was to leave town for six months, and he must be gone within forty-eight hours. When he returned there was to be no resumption of the affair, but at the end of a year Edna might, if she wished, tell Robert Hunter that she wanted a divorce and go about it in the usual way.

At two in the morning at a small nightclub on 53rd Street, Edna's nerves finally gave out, and she asked to go home. Sloane had been drinking heavily all night and was feeling a bit emotional, leaning on the table and crying softly with his face in his hands. Quickly, Anson laid out his terms. Sloane had to leave town for six months, and he needed to be gone within forty-eight hours. When he came back, the affair couldn’t resume, but after a year, Edna could, if she wanted, tell Robert Hunter that she wanted a divorce and go through the usual process.

He paused, gaining confidence from their faces for his final word.

He paused, drawing confidence from their expressions for his final word.

"Or there's another thing you can do," he said slowly, "if Edna wants to leave her children, there's nothing I can do to prevent your running off together."

"Or there's another thing you can do," he said slowly, "if Edna wants to leave her kids, there's nothing I can do to stop you from running off together."

"I want to go home!" cried Edna again. "Oh, haven't you done enough to us for one day?"

"I want to go home!" Edna cried again. "Haven't you done enough to us for one day?"

Outside it was dark, save for a blurred glow from Sixth Avenue down the street. In that light those two who had been lovers looked for the last time into each other's tragic faces, realizing that between them there was not enough youth and strength to avert their eternal parting. Sloane walked suddenly off down the street and Anson tapped a dozing taxi-driver on the arm.

Outside, it was dark, except for a faint glow from Sixth Avenue down the street. In that light, those two who had been lovers looked for the last time into each other's sorrowful faces, realizing that between them there wasn't enough youth and strength to prevent their permanent separation. Sloane abruptly walked down the street, and Anson tapped a sleeping taxi driver on the arm.

It was almost four; there was a patient flow of cleaning water along the ghostly pavement of Fifth Avenue, and the shadows of two night women flitted over the dark façade of St. Thomas's church. Then the desolate shrubbery of Central Park where Anson had often played as a child, and the mounting numbers, significant as names, of the marching streets. This was his city, he thought, where his name had flourished through five generations. No change could alter the permanence of its place here, for change itself was the essential substratum by which he and those of his name identified themselves with the spirit of New York. Resourcefulness and a powerful will—for his threats in weaker hands would have been less than nothing—had beaten the gathering dust from his uncle's name, from the name of his family, from even this shivering figure that sat beside him in the car.

It was almost four; a steady stream of cleaning water flowed along the eerie pavement of Fifth Avenue, and the shadows of two street women flickered over the dark front of St. Thomas's church. Then there was the empty shrubbery of Central Park where Anson had often played as a child, and the increasing numbers, meaningful as names, of the bustling streets. This was his city, he thought, where his name had thrived for five generations. No change could affect its lasting presence here, because change itself was the foundation by which he and his family connected with the essence of New York. Resourcefulness and strong determination—because his threats in weaker hands would have meant nothing—had shaken the growing dust from his uncle's name, from his family's name, and even from the shivering figure sitting next to him in the car.

Cary Sloane's body was found next morning on the lower shelf of a pillar of Queensboro Bridge. In the darkness and in his excitement he had thought that it was the water flowing black beneath him, but in less than a second it made no possible difference—unless he had planned to think one last thought of Edna, and call out her name as he struggled feebly in the water.

Cary Sloane's body was discovered the next morning on the lower shelf of a pillar of the Queensboro Bridge. In the dark, caught up in his excitement, he had thought it was the water flowing black beneath him, but in less than a second, it didn’t matter at all—unless he had intended to think one last thought of Edna and call out her name as he weakly fought against the water.







VII

Anson never blamed himself for his part in this affair—the situation which brought it about had not been of his making. But the just suffer with the unjust, and he found that his oldest and somehow his most precious friendship was over. He never knew what distorted story Edna told, but he was welcome in his uncle's house no longer.

Anson never blamed himself for his role in this situation—the circumstances that led to it weren't his fault. But the righteous suffer alongside the guilty, and he realized that his oldest and somehow most valued friendship had ended. He never found out what twisted story Edna shared, but he was no longer welcome in his uncle's house.

Just before Christmas Mrs. Hunter retired to a select Episcopal heaven, and Anson became the responsible head of his family. An unmarried aunt who had lived with them for years ran the house, and attempted with helpless inefficiency to chaperone the younger girls. All the children were less self-reliant than Anson, more conventional both in their virtues and in their shortcomings. Mrs. Hunter's death had postponed the début of one daughter and the wedding of another. Also it had taken something deeply material from all of them, for with her passing the quiet, expensive superiority of the Hunters came to an end.

Just before Christmas, Mrs. Hunter passed away, and Anson became the head of his family. An unmarried aunt who had lived with them for years managed the household and tried, with little success, to keep an eye on the younger girls. All the children were less independent than Anson, more typical in both their strengths and weaknesses. Mrs. Hunter's death had delayed one daughter's debut and another's wedding. It also took away something very tangible from all of them, as her passing marked the end of the quiet, refined elegance that the Hunters had always maintained.

For one thing, the estate, considerably diminished by two inheritance taxes and soon to be divided among six children, was not a notable fortune any more. Anson saw a tendency in his youngest sisters to speak rather respectfully of families that hadn't "existed" twenty years ago. His own feeling of precedence was not echoed in them—sometimes they were conventionally snobbish, that was all. For another thing, this was the last summer they would spend on the Connecticut estate; the clamor against it was too loud: "Who wants to waste the best months of the year shut up in that dead old town?" Reluctantly he yielded—the house would go into the market in the fall, and next summer they would rent a smaller place in Westchester County. It was a step down from the expensive simplicity of his father's idea, and, while he sympathized with the revolt, it also annoyed him; during his mother's lifetime he had gone up there at least every other week-end—even in the gayest summers.

For one thing, the estate, significantly reduced by two inheritance taxes and soon to be split among six kids, wasn’t a big fortune anymore. Anson noticed that his youngest sisters tended to speak quite respectfully about families that hadn’t "been around" twenty years ago. His own sense of being ahead wasn’t shared by them—sometimes they were just conventionally snobby, that was it. For another thing, this was the last summer they would spend at the Connecticut estate; the complaints were too loud: "Who wants to waste the best months of the year stuck in that dead old town?" Reluctantly, he gave in—the house would hit the market in the fall, and next summer they would rent a smaller place in Westchester County. It was a step down from the simple luxury of his father’s idea, and while he understood the rebellion, it also frustrated him; during his mother’s lifetime, he had gone up there at least every other weekend—even during the most exciting summers.

Yet he himself was part of this change, and his strong instinct for life had turned him in his twenties from the hollow obsequies of that abortive leisure class. He did not see this clearly—he still felt that there was a norm, a standard of society. But there was no norm, it was doubtful if there had ever been a true norm in New York. The few who still paid and fought to enter a particular set succeeded only to find that as a society it scarcely functioned—or, what was more alarming, that the Bohemia from which they fled sat above them at table.

Yet he was part of this change, and his strong drive for life had led him in his twenties away from the empty rituals of that failing leisure class. He didn't see this clearly—he still felt there was a standard in society. But there was no standard; it was uncertain if there had ever been a real standard in New York. The few who still paid and struggled to join a specific social group only found that as a society it hardly worked—or, even more concerning, that the Bohemia they escaped from was seated above them at the table.

At twenty-nine Anson's chief concern was his own growing loneliness. He was sure now that he would never marry. The number of weddings at which he had officiated as best man or usher was past all counting—there was a drawer at home that bulged with the official neckties of this or that wedding-party, neckties standing for romances that had not endured a year, for couples who had passed completely from his life. Scarf-pins, gold pencils, cuff-buttons, presents from a generation of grooms had passed through his jewel-box and been lost—and with every ceremony he was less and less able to imagine himself in the groom's place. Under his hearty good-will toward all those marriages there was despair about his own.

At twenty-nine, Anson's biggest concern was his increasing loneliness. He was now certain he would never get married. The number of weddings where he had been the best man or usher was countless—he had a drawer at home overflowing with the official neckties from various wedding parties, neckties representing romances that hadn’t lasted a year, for couples who had completely faded from his life. Scarf pins, gold pencils, cufflinks—gifts from a generation of grooms—had come and gone from his jewelry box, and with each ceremony, he found it harder to picture himself as the groom. Beneath his genuine happiness for all those marriages lay a deep despair about his own situation.

And as he neared thirty he became not a little depressed at the inroads that marriage, especially lately, had made upon his friendships. Groups of people had a disconcerting tendency to dissolve and disappear. The men from his own college—and it was upon them he had expended the most time and affection—were the most elusive of all. Most of them were drawn deep into domesticity, two were dead, one lived abroad, one was in Hollywood writing continuities for pictures that Anson went faithfully to see.

And as he approached thirty, he started to feel pretty down about how much marriage, especially recently, had affected his friendships. Groups of friends had a frustrating tendency to break apart and vanish. The guys from his college — those he had spent the most time and care on — were the hardest to reach. Most of them were deeply caught up in family life, two had passed away, one lived overseas, and one was in Hollywood writing scripts for movies that Anson dutifully went to watch.

Most of them, however, were permanent commuters with an intricate family life centring around some suburban country club, and it was from these that he felt his estrangement most keenly.

Most of them, however, were permanent commuters with a complex family life centered around some suburban country club, and it was from these that he felt his estrangement most sharply.

In the early days of their married life they had all needed him; he gave them advice about their slim finances, he exorcised their doubts about the advisability of bringing a baby into two rooms and a bath, especially he stood for the great world outside. But now their financial troubles were in the past and the fearfully expected child had evolved into an absorbing family. They were always glad to see old Anson, but they dressed up for him and tried to impress him with their present importance, and kept their troubles to themselves. They needed him no longer.

In the early days of their marriage, they really needed him; he offered them advice on their tight finances, eased their worries about whether it was a good idea to have a baby in a two-room apartment with only a bathroom, and he represented the larger world beyond their home. But now their money problems were behind them, and the baby they had anxiously awaited had grown into a lively family. They were always happy to see old Anson, but they dressed up for him and tried to impress him with their current success, keeping their troubles to themselves. They no longer needed him.

A few weeks before his thirtieth birthday the last of his early and intimate friends was married. Anson acted in his usual rôle of best man, gave his usual silver tea-service, and went down to the usual Homeric to say good-by. It was a hot Friday afternoon in May, and as he walked from the pier he realized that Saturday closing had begun and he was free until Monday morning.

A few weeks before his thirtieth birthday, the last of his close childhood friends got married. Anson played his usual role as the best man, gave the typical silver tea set, and headed to the usual Homeric to say goodbye. It was a hot Friday afternoon in May, and as he strolled from the pier, he realized that Saturday closing had started, and he was free until Monday morning.

"Go where?" he asked himself.

"Where to go?" he wondered.

The Yale Club, of course; bridge until dinner, then four or five raw cocktails in somebody's room and a pleasant confused evening. He regretted that this afternoon's groom wouldn't be along—they had always been able to cram so much into such nights: they knew how to attach women and how to get rid of them, how much consideration any girl deserved from their intelligent hedonism. A party was an adjusted thing—you took certain girls to certain places and spent just so much on their amusement; you drank a little, not much, more than you ought to drink, and at a certain time in the morning you stood up and said you were going home. You avoided college boys, sponges, future engagements, fights, sentiment, and indiscretions. That was the way it was done. All the rest was dissipation.

The Yale Club, of course; playing bridge until dinner, then four or five cocktails in someone’s room and a fun, slightly chaotic evening. He wished the groom from earlier today could be here—they always managed to fit so much into those nights: they knew how to win over women and how to move on when necessary, understanding how much consideration any girl deserved from their smart hedonism. A party was a carefully balanced event—you took certain girls to specific places and spent just enough on their enjoyment; you drank a little, but not too much, more than you should, and at a certain point in the morning, you’d stand up and say you were heading home. You steered clear of college boys, freeloaders, future commitments, fights, feelings, and mistakes. That was how it was done. Everything else was just excess.

In the morning you were never violently sorry—you made no resolutions, but if you had overdone it and your heart was slightly out of order, you went on the wagon for a few days without saying anything about it, and waited until an accumulation of nervous boredom projected you into another party.

In the morning, you never felt extremely regretful—you didn’t make any promises, but if you’d gone too far and your heart was feeling a bit off, you stayed sober for a few days without mentioning it, and waited until the buildup of restless boredom pushed you into another party.

The lobby of the Yale Club was unpopulated. In the bar three very young alumni looked up at him, momentarily and without curiosity.

The lobby of the Yale Club was empty. In the bar, three very young alumni glanced up at him briefly and without interest.

"Hello there, Oscar," he said to the bartender. "Mr. Cahill been around this afternoon?"

"Hey, Oscar," he said to the bartender. "Has Mr. Cahill been here this afternoon?"

"Mr. Cahill's gone to New Haven."

"Mr. Cahill has gone to New Haven."

"Oh ... that so?"

"Oh, is that so?"

"Gone to the ball game. Lot of men gone up."

"Gone to the game. A lot of guys are gone."

Anson looked once again into the lobby, considered for a moment, and then walked out and over to Fifth Avenue. From the broad window of one of his clubs—one that he had scarcely visited in five years—a gray man with watery eyes stared down at him. Anson looked quickly away—that figure sitting in vacant resignation, in supercilious solitude, depressed him. He stopped and, retracing his steps, started over 47th Street toward Teak Warden's apartment. Teak and his wife had once been his most familiar friends—it was a household where he and Dolly Karger had been used to go in the days of their affair. But Teak had taken to drink, and his wife had remarked publicly that Anson was a bad influence on him. The remark reached Anson in an exaggerated form—when it was finally cleared up, the delicate spell of intimacy was broken, never to be renewed.

Anson looked back into the lobby, thought for a moment, then walked out and headed over to Fifth Avenue. From the big window of one of his clubs—one he hadn’t been to in five years—a gray man with watery eyes watched him. Anson quickly looked away; that figure sitting there in empty resignation and arrogant solitude made him feel down. He paused and, retracing his steps, started down 47th Street toward Teak Warden's apartment. Teak and his wife had once been his closest friends—it was a home where he and Dolly Karger used to hang out during their affair. But Teak had fallen into drinking, and his wife had publicly claimed that Anson was a bad influence on him. The comment got back to Anson in an exaggerated way—when everything was finally sorted out, the fragile bond of intimacy was broken and never mended.

"Is Mr. Warden at home?" he inquired.

"Is Mr. Warden home?" he asked.

"They've gone to the country."

"They've gone to the countryside."

The fact unexpectedly cut at him. They were gone to the country and he hadn't known. Two years before he would have known the date, the hour, come up at the last moment for a final drink, and planned his first visit to them. Now they had gone without a word.

The news hit him hard. They had gone to the countryside, and he had no idea. Two years ago, he would have known the date and time, dropped by for a last drink, and arranged his first visit. Now, they had left without saying anything.

Anson looked at his watch and considered a week-end with his family, but the only train was a local that would jolt through the aggressive heat for three hours. And to-morrow in the country, and Sunday—he was in no mood for porch-bridge with polite undergraduates, and dancing after dinner at a rural road-house, a diminutive of gaiety which his father had estimated too well.

Anson checked his watch and thought about spending the weekend with his family, but the only train option was a local that would bump along in the sweltering heat for three hours. And tomorrow in the countryside, and Sunday—he just wasn’t in the mood for playing bridge on the porch with polite college students and dancing after dinner at a small country inn, a kind of fun his father had judged far too accurately.

"Oh, no," he said to himself.... "No."

"Oh, no," he said to himself... "No."

He was a dignified, impressive young man, rather stout now, but otherwise unmarked by dissipation. He could have been cast for a pillar of something—at times you were sure it was not society, at others nothing else—for the law, for the church. He stood for a few minutes motionless on the sidewalk in front of a 47th Street apartment-house; for almost the first time in his life he had nothing whatever to do.

He was a respectable and striking young man, a bit heavyset now, but otherwise unaffected by excess. He could have easily been a model for something—sometimes you felt it wasn’t for society, other times it could have been for the law or the church. He stood for a few minutes frozen on the sidewalk in front of a 47th Street apartment building; for almost the first time in his life, he had absolutely nothing to do.

Then he began to walk briskly up Fifth Avenue, as if he had just been reminded of an important engagement there. The necessity of dissimulation is one of the few characteristics that we share with dogs, and I think of Anson on that day as some well-bred specimen who had been disappointed at a familiar back door. He was going to see Nick, once a fashionable bartender in demand at all private dances, and now employed in cooling non-alcoholic champagne among the labyrinthine cellars of the Plaza Hotel.

Then he started walking quickly up Fifth Avenue, like he had just remembered an important meeting there. The need to hide our true feelings is one of the few traits we share with dogs, and I think of Anson that day as a well-bred dog who had been let down at a familiar back door. He was heading to see Nick, who used to be a trendy bartender sought after at all the private parties, but now worked chilling non-alcoholic champagne in the winding cellars of the Plaza Hotel.

"Nick," he said, "what's happened to everything?"

"Nick," he said, "what happened to everything?"

"Dead," Nick said.

"He's dead," Nick said.

"Make me a whiskey sour." Anson handed a pint bottle over the counter. "Nick, the girls are different; I had a little girl in Brooklyn and she got married last week without letting me know."

"Make me a whiskey sour." Anson passed a pint bottle over the counter. "Nick, the girls are different; I had a little girl in Brooklyn, and she got married last week without telling me."

"That a fact? Ha-ha-ha," responded Nick diplomatically. "Slipped it over on you."

"Is that a fact? Ha-ha-ha," Nick replied diplomatically. "Got one over on you."

"Absolutely," said Anson. "And I was out with her the night before."

"Definitely," Anson said. "And I was with her the night before."

"Ha-ha-ha," said Nick, "ha-ha-ha!"

"LOL," said Nick, "LOL!"

"Do you remember the wedding, Nick, in Hot Springs where I had the waiters and the musicians singing 'God save the King'?"

"Do you remember the wedding, Nick, in Hot Springs where I had the waiters and the musicians singing 'God Save the King'?"

"Now where was that, Mr. Hunter?" Nick concentrated doubtfully. "Seems to me that was——"

"Now, where was that, Mr. Hunter?" Nick focused uncertainly. "It seems to me that was——"

"Next time they were back for more, and I began to wonder how much I'd paid them," continued Anson.

"Next time they came back for more, I started to question how much I had paid them," Anson continued.

"—seems to me that was at Mr. Trenholm's wedding."

"—it seems to me that was at Mr. Trenholm's wedding."

"Don't know him," said Anson decisively. He was offended that a strange name should intrude upon his reminiscences; Nick perceived this.

"Don't know him," Anson said firmly. He was annoyed that an unfamiliar name had interrupted his memories; Nick noticed this.

"Naw—aw—" he admitted, "I ought to know that. It was one of your crowd—Brakins .... Baker——"

"Nah—uh—" he admitted, "I should know that. It was one of your group—Brakins .... Baker——"

"Bicker Baker," said Anson responsively. "They put me in a hearse after it was over and covered me up with flowers and drove me away."

"Bicker Baker," Anson replied. "They put me in a hearse when it was over, covered me with flowers, and drove me away."

"Ha-ha-ha," said Nick. "Ha-ha-ha."

"LOL," said Nick. "LOL."

Nick's simulation of the old family servant paled presently and Anson went up-stairs to the lobby. He looked around—his eyes met the glance of an unfamiliar clerk at the desk, then fell upon a flower from the morning's marriage hesitating in the mouth of a brass cuspidor. He went out and walked slowly toward the blood-red sun over Columbus Circle. Suddenly he turned around and, retracing his steps to the Plaza, immured himself in a telephone-booth.

Nick's imitation of the old family servant faded fast, and Anson headed upstairs to the lobby. He looked around—his eyes caught the gaze of an unfamiliar clerk at the desk, then landed on a flower from that morning's wedding awkwardly sitting in a brass spittoon. He stepped outside and strolled slowly toward the deep red sun over Columbus Circle. Suddenly, he turned back and, retracing his steps to the Plaza, shut himself in a phone booth.

Later he said that he tried to get me three times that afternoon, that he tried every one who might be in New York—men and girls he had not seen for years, an artist's model of his college days whose faded number was still in his address book—Central told him that even the exchange existed no longer. At length his quest roved into the country, and he held brief disappointing conversations with emphatic butlers and maids. So-and-so was out, riding, swimming, playing golf, sailed to Europe last week. Who shall I say phoned?

Later, he mentioned that he tried to reach me three times that afternoon, attempting to contact everyone he thought might be in New York—friends and acquaintances he hadn’t seen in years, even an artist’s model from his college days whose old number was still in his address book—Central told him that even that phone line no longer existed. Eventually, he expanded his search into the countryside and had brief, frustrating conversations with assertive butlers and maids. So-and-so was out, either riding, swimming, playing golf, or had sailed to Europe the week before. Who should I say called?

It was intolerable that he should pass the evening alone—the private reckonings which one plans for a moment of leisure lose every charm when the solitude is enforced. There were always women of a sort, but the ones he knew had temporarily vanished, and to pass a New York evening in the hired company of a stranger never occurred to him—he would have considered that that was something shameful and secret, the diversion of a travelling salesman in a strange town.

It was unbearable for him to spend the evening alone—the personal reflections that are enjoyable during leisure time lose all their appeal when solitude is forced upon you. There were always women around, but the ones he knew had disappeared for the time being, and the idea of spending a New York evening in the company of a stranger didn’t even cross his mind—he would have seen that as something shameful and hidden, like the distraction of a traveling salesman in an unfamiliar city.

Anson paid the telephone bill—the girl tried unsuccessfully to joke with him about its size—and for the second time that afternoon started to leave the Plaza and go he knew not where. Near the revolving door the figure of a woman, obviously with child, stood sideways to the light—a sheer beige cape fluttered at her shoulders when the door turned and, each time, she looked impatiently toward it as if she were weary of waiting. At the first sight of her a strong nervous thrill of familiarity went over him, but not until he was within five feet of her did he realize that it was Paula.

Anson paid the phone bill—the girl tried to make a joke about how much it was, but it fell flat—and for the second time that afternoon, he started to leave the Plaza with no particular destination in mind. By the revolving door, a woman, clearly pregnant, stood sideways to the light—a sheer beige cape fluttered at her shoulders as the door turned, and each time it did, she looked impatiently at it, like she was tired of waiting. At the first glance of her, he felt a strong, nervous thrill of familiarity wash over him, but it wasn’t until he was within five feet of her that he realized it was Paula.

"Why, Anson Hunter!"

"Wow, Anson Hunter!"

His heart turned over.

His heart skipped a beat.

"Why, Paula——"

"Why, Paula—"

"Why, this is wonderful. I can't believe it, Anson!"

"Wow, this is amazing. I can’t believe it, Anson!"

She took both his hands, and he saw in the freedom of the gesture that the memory of him had lost poignancy to her. But not to him—he felt that old mood that she evoked in him stealing over his brain, that gentleness with which he had always met her optimism as if afraid to mar its surface.

She took both his hands, and he realized from the openness of the gesture that she no longer felt the same strong feelings for him. But he still did—he felt that familiar mood she brought out in him wash over his mind, that tenderness with which he had always responded to her optimism, as if he were afraid to disturb it.

"We're at Rye for the summer. Pete had to come East on business—you know of course I'm Mrs. Peter Hagerty now—so we brought the children and took a house. You've got to come out and see us."

"We're in Rye for the summer. Pete had to come east for work—you know I'm Mrs. Peter Hagerty now—so we brought the kids and rented a house. You have to come out and visit us."

"Can I?" he asked directly. "When?"

"Can I?" he asked straightforwardly. "When?"

"When you like. Here's Pete." The revolving door functioned, giving up a fine tall man of thirty with a tanned face and a trim mustache. His immaculate fitness made a sharp contrast with Anson's increasing bulk, which was obvious under the faintly tight cut-away coat.

"When you’re ready. Here’s Pete." The revolving door worked, releasing a tall, fit man in his thirties with a sun-kissed face and a neat mustache. His impeccable physique stood in stark contrast to Anson’s growing bulk, which was noticeably evident beneath the slightly tight cutaway coat.

"You oughtn't to be standing," said Hagerty to his wife. "Let's sit down here." He indicated lobby chairs, but Paula hesitated.

"You shouldn't be standing," Hagerty said to his wife. "Let's sit down here." He pointed to the lobby chairs, but Paula hesitated.

"I've got to go right home," she said. "Anson, why don't you—why don't you come out and have dinner with us to-night? We're just getting settled, but if you can stand that——"

"I need to head home now," she said. "Anson, why don’t you—why don’t you come out and have dinner with us tonight? We’re just getting settled, but if you can handle that——"

Hagerty confirmed the invitation cordially.

Hagerty graciously accepted the invitation.

"Come out for the night."

"Come out tonight."

Their car waited in front of the hotel, and Paula with a tired gesture sank back against silk cushions in the corner.

Their car was parked in front of the hotel, and Paula, feeling exhausted, leaned back against the silk cushions in the corner.

"There's so much I want to talk to you about," she said, "it seems hopeless."

"There's so much I want to discuss with you," she said, "it feels pointless."

"I want to hear about you."

"I want to hear about you."

"Well"—she smiled at Hagerty—"that would take a long time too. I have three children—by my first marriage. The oldest is five, then four, then three." She smiled again. "I didn't waste much time having them, did I?"

"Well"—she smiled at Hagerty—"that would take a long time too. I have three kids— from my first marriage. The oldest is five, then four, then three." She smiled again. "I didn't waste much time having them, did I?"

"Boys?"

"Guys?"

"A boy and two girls. Then—oh, a lot of things happened, and I got a divorce in Paris a year ago and married Pete. That's all—except that I'm awfully happy."

"A boy and two girls. Then—oh, a lot of things happened, and I got a divorce in Paris a year ago and married Pete. That's it—except that I'm really happy."

In Rye they drove up to a large house near the Beach Club, from which there issued presently three dark, slim children who broke from an English governess and approached them with an esoteric cry. Abstractedly and with difficulty Paula took each one into her arms, a caress which they accepted stiffly, as they had evidently been told not to bump into Mummy. Even against their fresh faces Paula's skin showed scarcely any weariness—for all her physical languor she seemed younger than when he had last seen her at Palm Beach seven years ago.

In Rye, they drove up to a big house near the Beach Club, from which three dark, slender children quickly appeared, breaking away from an English governess. They approached them with a strange shout. Absently and with some effort, Paula pulled each one into her arms, a hug they accepted rigidly, as they had clearly been instructed not to mess with Mummy. Despite their fresh faces, Paula's skin showed hardly any signs of tiredness—despite her physical fatigue, she seemed younger than when he last saw her in Palm Beach seven years ago.

At dinner she was preoccupied, and afterward, during the homage to the radio, she lay with closed eyes on the sofa, until Anson wondered if his presence at this time were not an intrusion. But at nine o'clock, when Hagerty rose and said pleasantly that he was going to leave them by themselves for a while, she began to talk slowly about herself and the past.

At dinner, she seemed lost in thought, and afterward, while they were paying attention to the radio, she lay on the sofa with her eyes closed until Anson started to wonder if being there was bothering her. But at nine o'clock, when Hagerty got up and cheerfully said he was going to leave them alone for a bit, she started to slowly open up about herself and her past.

"My first baby," she said—"the one we call Darling, the biggest little girl—I wanted to die when I knew I was going to have her, because Lowell was like a stranger to me. It didn't seem as though she could be my own. I wrote you a letter and tore it up. Oh, you were so bad to me, Anson."

"My first baby," she said—"the one we call Darling, the biggest little girl—I felt like I was going to die when I found out I was having her, because Lowell felt like a stranger to me. It didn't seem possible that she could be mine. I wrote you a letter and then tore it up. Oh, you were so awful to me, Anson."

It was the dialogue again, rising and falling. Anson felt a sudden quickening of memory.

It was the conversation again, coming and going. Anson felt a sudden rush of memories.

"Weren't you engaged once?" she asked—"a girl named Dolly something?"

"Weren't you engaged before?" she asked. "A girl named Dolly something?"

"I wasn't ever engaged. I tried to be engaged, but I never loved anybody but you, Paula."

"I was never engaged. I tried to be, but I never loved anyone but you, Paula."

"Oh," she said. Then after a moment: "This baby is the first one I ever really wanted. You see, I'm in love now—at last."

"Oh," she said. After a moment, she added, "This baby is the first one I've really wanted. You see, I'm in love now—finally."

He didn't answer, shocked at the treachery of her remembrance. She must have seen that the "at last" bruised him, for she continued:

He didn’t respond, taken aback by the betrayal of her memory. She must have noticed that the “at last” hurt him, so she went on:

"I was infatuated with you, Anson—you could make me do anything you liked. But we wouldn't have been happy. I'm not smart enough for you. I don't like things to be complicated like you do." She paused. "You'll never settle down," she said.

"I was really into you, Anson—you could get me to do whatever you wanted. But we wouldn't have been happy. I'm not smart enough for you. I don't like things to be complicated like you do." She took a pause. "You'll never settle down," she said.

The phrase struck at him from behind—it was an accusation that of all accusations he had never merited.

The phrase hit him from behind—it was an accusation that he had never deserved, out of all the accusations possible.

"I could settle down if women were different," he said. "If I didn't understand so much about them, if women didn't spoil you for other women, if they had only a little pride. If I could go to sleep for a while and wake up into a home that was really mine—why, that's what I'm made for, Paula, that's what women have seen in me and liked in me. It's only that I can't get through the preliminaries any more."

"I could settle down if women were different," he said. "If I didn't know so much about them, if women didn't make it hard for me to appreciate other women, if they just had a little pride. If I could fall asleep for a bit and wake up in a home that genuinely felt like mine—well, that's what I'm meant for, Paula, that's what women have noticed in me and liked about me. It's just that I can't handle the initial stuff any longer."

Hagerty came in a little before eleven; after a whiskey Paula stood up and announced that she was going to bed. She went over and stood by her husband.

Hagerty arrived just before eleven; after having a whiskey, Paula got up and said she was heading to bed. She walked over and stood next to her husband.

"Where did you go, dearest?" she demanded.

"Where did you go, my dear?" she asked.

"I had a drink with Ed Saunders."

"I had a drink with Ed Saunders."

"I was worried. I thought maybe you'd run away."

"I was worried. I thought maybe you might leave."

She rested her head against his coat.

She leaned her head against his coat.

"He's sweet, isn't he, Anson?" she demanded.

"He's sweet, isn't he, Anson?" she asked.

"Absolutely," said Anson, laughing.

"Totally," said Anson, laughing.

She raised her face to her husband.

She looked up at her husband.

"Well, I'm ready," she said. She turned to Anson: "Do you want to see our family gymnastic stunt?"

"Okay, I’m ready," she said. She turned to Anson: "Do you want to see our family gymnastics trick?"

"Yes," he said in an interested voice.

"Yeah," he said with an interested tone.

"All right. Here we go!"

"Alright. Here we go!"

Hagerty picked her up easily in his arms.

Hagerty easily lifted her in his arms.

"This is called the family acrobatic stunt," said Paula. "He carries me up-stairs. Isn't it sweet of him?"

"This is what we call the family acrobatic stunt," Paula said. "He carries me up the stairs. Isn't that sweet of him?"

"Yes," said Anson.

"Yeah," Anson said.

Hagerty bent his head slightly until his face touched Paula's.

Hagerty tilted his head slightly until his face was close to Paula's.

"And I love him," she said. "I've just been telling you, haven't I, Anson?"

"And I love him," she said. "I've just been telling you, haven't I, Anson?"

"Yes," he said.

"Yeah," he said.

"He's the dearest thing that ever lived in this world; aren't you, darling? ... Well, good night. Here we go. Isn't he strong?"

"He's the sweetest thing that has ever lived in this world; aren't you, babe? ... Well, good night. Here we go. Isn't he strong?"

"Yes," Anson said.

"Yes," Anson replied.

"You'll find a pair of Pete's pajamas laid out for you. Sweet dreams—see you at breakfast."

"You'll find a set of Pete's pajamas ready for you. Sleep well—I'll see you at breakfast."

"Yes," Anson said.

"Yeah," Anson said.







VIII

The older members of the firm insisted that Anson should go abroad for the summer. He had scarcely had a vacation in seven years, they said. He was stale and needed a change. Anson resisted.

The senior members of the firm insisted that Anson should travel abroad for the summer. They pointed out that he had barely taken a vacation in seven years. He was burnt out and needed a change. Anson pushed back.

"If I go," he declared, "I won't come back any more."

"If I go," he said, "I won't come back again."

"That's absurd, old man. You'll be back in three months with all this depression gone. Fit as ever."

"That's ridiculous, old man. You'll be back in three months with all this depression behind you. Fit as ever."

"No." He shook his head stubbornly. "If I stop, I won't go back to work. If I stop, that means I've given up—I'm through."

"No." He shook his head defiantly. "If I stop, I won't return to work. If I stop, it means I've thrown in the towel—I'm done."

"We'll take a chance on that. Stay six months if you like—we're not afraid you'll leave us. Why, you'd be miserable if you didn't work."

"We'll take a shot at that. Stay for six months if you want—we're not worried you'll leave us. Honestly, you'd be unhappy if you weren't working."

They arranged his passage for him. They liked Anson—every one liked Anson—and the change that had been coming over him cast a sort of pall over the office. The enthusiasm that had invariably signalled up business, the consideration toward his equals and his inferiors, the lift of his vital presence—within the past four months his intense nervousness had melted down these qualities into the fussy pessimism of a man of forty. On every transaction in which he was involved he acted as a drag and a strain.

They set up his trip for him. Everyone liked Anson—he was well-liked by all—and the change happening in him cast a shadow over the office. The energy that usually fueled their work, the thoughtfulness he showed to both colleagues and subordinates, the uplift he brought—over the past four months, his intense nervousness had worn away those traits, leaving behind the anxious pessimism of a man in his forties. In every deal he was part of, he became a burden and a source of stress.

"If I go I'll never come back," he said.

"If I leave, I'll never return," he said.

Three days before he sailed Paula Legendre Hagerty died in childbirth. I was with him a great deal then, for we were crossing together, but for the first time in our friendship he told me not a word of how he felt, nor did I see the slightest sign of emotion. His chief preoccupation was with the fact that he was thirty years old—he would turn the conversation to the point where he could remind you of it and then fall silent, as if he assumed that the statement would start a chain of thought sufficient to itself. Like his partners, I was amazed at the change in him, and I was glad when the Paris moved off into the wet space between the worlds, leaving his principality behind.

Three days before he sailed, Paula Legendre Hagerty died in childbirth. I spent a lot of time with him then since we were crossing together, but for the first time in our friendship, he didn’t say a word about how he felt, and I didn’t see the slightest sign of emotion. His main concern was that he was thirty years old—he would steer the conversation to that point just to remind you and then go quiet, as if he expected that statement to spark enough thought on its own. Like his partners, I was shocked by the change in him, and I was relieved when the Paris moved off into the wet space between the worlds, leaving his principality behind.

"How about a drink?" he suggested.

"How about a drink?" he proposed.

We walked into the bar with that defiant feeling that characterizes the day of departure and ordered four Martinis. After one cocktail a change came over him—he suddenly reached across and slapped my knee with the first joviality I had seen him exhibit for months.

We walked into the bar with that rebellious vibe that comes with the day of leaving and ordered four Martinis. After one drink, something shifted in him—he suddenly reached over and slapped my knee with the first genuine happiness I had seen from him in months.

"Did you see that girl in the red tam?" he demanded, "the one with the high color who had the two police dogs down to bid her good-by."

"Did you see that girl in the red hat?" he asked, "the one with the rosy cheeks who had the two police dogs there to say goodbye."

"She's pretty," I agreed.

"She's cute," I agreed.

"I looked her up in the purser's office and found out that she's alone. I'm going down to see the steward in a few minutes. We'll have dinner with her to-night."

"I checked with the purser's office and found out that she's by herself. I'm going to talk to the steward in a few minutes. We'll have dinner with her tonight."

After a while he left me, and within an hour he was walking up and down the deck with her, talking to her in his strong, clear voice. Her red tam was a bright spot of color against the steel-green sea, and from time to time she looked up with a flashing bob of her head, and smiled with amusement and interest, and anticipation. At dinner we had champagne, and were very joyous—afterward Anson ran the pool with infectious gusto, and several people who had seen me with him asked me his name. He and the girl were talking and laughing together on a lounge in the bar when I went to bed.

After a while, he left me, and within an hour, he was pacing the deck with her, chatting in his strong, clear voice. Her red tam stood out brightly against the steel-green sea, and every so often she would look up with an enthusiastic nod of her head, smiling with amusement, interest, and excitement. At dinner, we had champagne and were really cheerful—afterward, Anson was playing pool with contagious energy, and several people who had seen me with him asked what his name was. He and the girl were joking and laughing together on a lounge in the bar when I went to bed.

I saw less of him on the trip than I had hoped. He wanted to arrange a foursome, but there was no one available, so I saw him only at meals. Sometimes, though, he would have a cocktail in the bar, and he told me about the girl in the red tam, and his adventures with her, making them all bizarre and amusing, as he had a way of doing, and I was glad that he was himself again, or at least the self that I knew, and with which I felt at home. I don't think he was ever happy unless some one was in love with him, responding to him like filings to a magnet, helping him to explain himself, promising him something. What it was I do not know. Perhaps they promised that there would always be women in the world who would spend their brightest, freshest, rarest hours to nurse and protect that superiority he cherished in his heart.

I saw less of him on the trip than I had hoped. He wanted to set up a foursome, but no one was available, so I only saw him at meals. Sometimes, he'd have a cocktail at the bar and tell me about the girl in the red tam, sharing his adventures with her, making everything sound both weird and funny, as he had a knack for doing. I was glad to see him being himself again, or at least the version of himself that I knew and felt comfortable with. I don't think he was ever truly happy unless someone was in love with him, reacting to him like metal shavings to a magnet, helping him to express himself and promising him something. What that was, I don't know. Maybe they promised that there would always be women in the world who would spend their best, freshest, rarest moments nurturing and protecting that superiority he held so dear in his heart.













WINTER DREAMS

Some of the caddies were poor as sin and lived in one-room houses with a neurasthenic cow in the front yard, but Dexter Green's father owned the second best grocery-store in Black Bear—the best one was "The Hub," patronized by the wealthy people from Sherry Island—and Dexter caddied only for pocket-money.

Some of the caddies were really poor and lived in one-room houses with a nervous-looking cow in the front yard, but Dexter Green's dad owned the second-best grocery store in Black Bear—the best one was "The Hub," frequented by the wealthy people from Sherry Island—and Dexter caddied just for some extra cash.

In the fall when the days became crisp and gray, and the long Minnesota winter shut down like the white lid of a box, Dexter's skis moved over the snow that hid the fairways of the golf course. At these times the country gave him a feeling of profound melancholy—it offended him that the links should lie in enforced fallowness, haunted by ragged sparrows for the long season. It was dreary, too, that on the tees where the gay colors fluttered in summer there were now only the desolate sand-boxes knee-deep in crusted ice. When he crossed the hills the wind blew cold as misery, and if the sun was out he tramped with his eyes squinted up against the hard dimensionless glare.

In the fall, when the days turned crisp and gray, and the long Minnesota winter closed in like the white lid of a box, Dexter's skis glided over the snow covering the golf course fairways. During these times, the countryside gave him a deep sense of melancholy—it bothered him that the links should lie unused, haunted by scruffy sparrows throughout the long season. It was also dismal that on the tees, where vibrant colors danced in summer, there were now only empty sandboxes buried in crusted ice. As he crossed the hills, the wind blew cold and harsh, and if the sun was shining, he trudged along with his eyes squinting against the harsh, featureless glare.

In April the winter ceased abruptly. The snow ran down into Black Bear Lake scarcely tarrying for the early golfers to brave the season with red and black balls. Without elation, without an interval of moist glory, the cold was gone.

In April, winter ended suddenly. The snow melted into Black Bear Lake, barely waiting for the early golfers to tackle the season with their red and black balls. Without any excitement, without a moment of wet brilliance, the cold disappeared.

Dexter knew that there was something dismal about this Northern spring, just as he knew there was something gorgeous about the fall. Fall made him clinch his hands and tremble and repeat idiotic sentences to himself, and make brisk abrupt gestures of command to imaginary audiences and armies. October filled him with hope which November raised to a sort of ecstatic triumph, and in this mood the fleeting brilliant impressions of the summer at Sherry Island were ready grist to his mill. He became a golf champion and defeated Mr. T. A. Hedrick in a marvellous match played a hundred times over the fairways of his imagination, a match each detail of which he changed about untiringly—sometimes he won with almost laughable ease, sometimes he came up magnificently from behind. Again, stepping from a Pierce-Arrow automobile, like Mr. Mortimer Jones, he strolled frigidly into the lounge of the Sherry Island Golf Club—or perhaps, surrounded by an admiring crowd, he gave an exhibition of fancy diving from the spring-board of the club raft.... Among those who watched him in open-mouthed wonder was Mr. Mortimer Jones.

Dexter felt that there was something bleak about this Northern spring, just as he understood that there was something beautiful about the fall. Fall made him clench his fists and shake with excitement, repeating silly phrases to himself and making quick, commanding gestures to imaginary audiences and armies. October filled him with hope, which November lifted to a kind of ecstatic triumph, and in this mood, the fleeting, vivid memories of the summer at Sherry Island became fuel for his imagination. He became a golf champion and beat Mr. T. A. Hedrick in an incredible match that he replayed countless times in his mind, changing every detail tirelessly—sometimes he won with almost comical ease, and other times he made a spectacular comeback. Once again, stepping out of a Pierce-Arrow car like Mr. Mortimer Jones, he coolly walked into the lounge of the Sherry Island Golf Club—or perhaps, surrounded by an admiring crowd, he showcased his diving skills from the club raft.... Among those watching him in amazement was Mr. Mortimer Jones.

And one day it came to pass that Mr. Jones—himself and not his ghost—came up to Dexter with tears in his eyes and said that Dexter was the —— best caddy in the club, and wouldn't he decide not to quit if Mr. Jones made it worth his while, because every other —— caddy in the club lost one ball a hole for him—regularly——

And one day, Mr. Jones—himself, and not his ghost—approached Dexter with tears in his eyes and said that Dexter was the absolute best caddy at the club. He asked if Dexter would reconsider quitting if Mr. Jones made it worth his while, because every other caddy at the club lost one ball per hole for him—without fail.

"No, sir," said Dexter decisively, "I don't want to caddy any more." Then, after a pause: "I'm too old."

"No, sir," Dexter said firmly, "I don't want to caddy anymore." Then, after a pause: "I'm too old."

"You're not more than fourteen. Why the devil did you decide just this morning that you wanted to quit? You promised that next week you'd go over to the State tournament with me."

"You're no older than fourteen. Why on earth did you decide this morning that you wanted to quit? You promised that next week you'd come to the State tournament with me."

"I decided I was too old."

"I realized I was too old."

Dexter handed in his "A Class" badge, collected what money was due him from the caddy master, and walked home to Black Bear Village.

Dexter returned his "A Class" badge, picked up the money he was owed from the caddy master, and walked home to Black Bear Village.

"The best —— caddy I ever saw," shouted Mr. Mortimer Jones over a drink that afternoon. "Never lost a ball! Willing! Intelligent! Quiet! Honest! Grateful!"

"The best —— caddy I ever saw," shouted Mr. Mortimer Jones over a drink that afternoon. "Never lost a ball! Eager! Smart! Quiet! Honest! Appreciative!"

The little girl who had done this was eleven—beautifully ugly as little girls are apt to be who are destined after a few years to be inexpressibly lovely and bring no end of misery to a great number of men. The spark, however, was perceptible. There was a general ungodliness in the way her lips twisted down at the corners when she smiled, and in the—Heaven help us!—in the almost passionate quality of her eyes. Vitality is born early in such women. It was utterly in evidence now, shining through her thin frame in a sort of glow.

The little girl who did this was eleven—strikingly awkward like many little girls who are likely to grow up into breathtaking beauty and cause endless heartbreak for a lot of men. However, there was a noticeable spark in her. There was a general irreverence in the way her lips turned down at the corners when she smiled, and in the—oh my!—almost intense quality of her eyes. Vitality shows itself early in such women. It was clearly visible now, radiating through her slender frame in a kind of glow.

She had come eagerly out on to the course at nine o'clock with a white linen nurse and five small new golf-clubs in a white canvas bag which the nurse was carrying. When Dexter first saw her she was standing by the caddy house, rather ill at ease and trying to conceal the fact by engaging her nurse in an obviously unnatural conversation graced by startling and irrevelant grimaces from herself.

She came out to the course enthusiastically at nine o'clock with a white linen nurse and five brand new golf clubs in a white canvas bag that the nurse was carrying. When Dexter first spotted her, she was standing by the caddy house, looking a bit uncomfortable and trying to hide it by having a forced conversation with her nurse, complete with surprising and irrelevant facial expressions from her.

"Well, it's certainly a nice day, Hilda," Dexter heard her say. She drew down the corners of her mouth, smiled, and glanced furtively around, her eyes in transit falling for an instant on Dexter.

"Well, it's definitely a nice day, Hilda," Dexter heard her say. She pulled down the corners of her mouth, smiled, and looked around quickly, her eyes landing for a moment on Dexter.

Then to the nurse:

Then to the nurse:

"Well, I guess there aren't very many people out here this morning, are there?"

"Well, I guess there aren’t many people out here this morning, are there?"

The smile again—radiant, blatantly artificial—convincing.

The smile again—radiant, obviously fake—convincing.

"I don't know what we're supposed to do now," said the nurse, looking nowhere in particular.

"I don't know what we're supposed to do now," said the nurse, staring off into space.

"Oh, that's all right. I'll fix it up."

"Oh, that's fine. I'll take care of it."

Dexter stood perfectly still, his mouth slightly ajar. He knew that if he moved forward a step his stare would be in her line of vision—if he moved backward he would lose his full view of her face. For a moment he had not realized how young she was. Now he remembered having seen her several times the year before—in bloomers.

Dexter stood completely still, his mouth slightly open. He knew that if he took a step forward, his gaze would fall into her line of sight—if he stepped back, he'd lose his full view of her face. For a moment, he hadn’t realized how young she was. Now he recalled seeing her several times the year before—in bloomers.

Suddenly, involuntarily, he laughed, a short abrupt laugh—then, startled by himself, he turned and began to walk quickly away.

Suddenly, without meaning to, he laughed—a quick, sharp laugh—then, surprised by his own reaction, he turned and started to walk away briskly.

"Boy!"

"Hey, boy!"

Dexter stopped.

Dexter paused.

"Boy——"

"Kid——"

Beyond question he was addressed. Not only that, but he was treated to that absurd smile, that preposterous smile—the memory of which at least a dozen men were to carry into middle age.

Without a doubt, he was being spoken to. Not only that, but he was met with that ridiculous smile, that laughable smile—the memory of which at least a dozen men would remember into their middle age.

"Boy, do you know where the golf teacher is?"

"Hey, do you know where the golf instructor is?"

"He's giving a lesson."

"He's teaching a lesson."

"Well, do you know where the caddy-master is?"

"Do you know where the caddy master is?"

"He isn't here yet this morning."

"He still isn't here this morning."

"Oh." For a moment this baffled her. She stood alternately on her right and left foot.

"Oh." For a moment, this confused her. She shifted her weight from her right foot to her left foot.

"We'd like to get a caddy," said the nurse. "Mrs. Mortimer Jones sent us out to play golf, and we don't know how without we get a caddy."

"We'd like to have a caddy," said the nurse. "Mrs. Mortimer Jones sent us out to play golf, and we don't know how to play without a caddy."

Here she was stopped by an ominous glance from Miss Jones, followed immediately by the smile.

Here she was stopped by a warning look from Miss Jones, quickly followed by a smile.

"There aren't any caddies here except me," said Dexter to the nurse, "and I got to stay here in charge until the caddy-master gets here."

"There aren't any caddies here except for me," Dexter told the nurse, "and I have to stay in charge until the caddy-master arrives."

"Oh."

"Oh."

Miss Jones and her retinue now withdrew, and at a proper distance from Dexter became involved in a heated conversation, which was concluded by Miss Jones taking one of the clubs and hitting it on the ground with violence. For further emphasis she raised it again and was about to bring it down smartly upon the nurse's bosom, when the nurse seized the club and twisted it from her hands.

Miss Jones and her group stepped back and, at a safe distance from Dexter, started a heated discussion. It ended with Miss Jones forcefully striking one of the clubs against the ground. To emphasize her point, she lifted it again and was about to bring it down sharply onto the nurse's chest when the nurse grabbed the club and wrested it from her hands.

"You damn little mean old thing!" cried Miss Jones wildly.

"You little mean old thing!" yelled Miss Jones frantically.

Another argument ensued. Realizing that the elements of the comedy were implied in the scene, Dexter several times began to laugh, but each time restrained the laugh before it reached audibility. He could not resist the monstrous conviction that the little girl was justified in beating the nurse.

Another argument broke out. Noticing that the comedic elements were hinted at in the scene, Dexter tried to laugh several times, but he held it back each time before it became audible. He couldn't shake the ridiculous belief that the little girl had every right to hit the nurse.

The situation was resolved by the fortuitous appearance of the caddy-master, who was appealed to immediately by the nurse.

The situation was resolved by the unexpected arrival of the caddy-master, who the nurse immediately turned to for help.

"Miss Jones is to have a little caddy, and this one says he can't go."

"Miss Jones is getting a little caddy, and this one says he can't go."

"Mr. McKenna said I was to wait here till you came," said Dexter quickly.

"Mr. McKenna said I should wait here until you arrived," Dexter said quickly.

"Well, he's here now." Miss Jones smiled cheerfully at the caddy-master. Then she dropped her bag and set off at a haughty mince toward the first tee.

"Well, he's here now." Miss Jones smiled brightly at the caddy-master. Then she dropped her bag and strutted with an air of superiority toward the first tee.

"Well?" The caddy-master turned to Dexter. "What you standing there like a dummy for? Go pick up the young lady's clubs."

"Well?" The caddy-master turned to Dexter. "What are you standing there like a fool for? Go grab the young lady's clubs."

"I don't think I'll go out to-day," said Dexter.

"I don't think I'm going to go out today," said Dexter.

"You don't——"

"You don't—"

"I think I'll quit."

"I'm thinking of quitting."

The enormity of his decision frightened him. He was a favorite caddy, and the thirty dollars a month he earned through the summer were not to be made elsewhere around the lake. But he had received a strong emotional shock, and his perturbation required a violent and immediate outlet.

The weight of his decision scared him. He was a popular caddy, and the thirty dollars a month he made during the summer couldn't be earned elsewhere around the lake. But he had gone through a strong emotional shock, and his anxiety needed a sudden and intense release.

It is not so simple as that, either. As so frequently would be the case in the future, Dexter was unconsciously dictated to by his winter dreams.

It isn't that simple, either. As would often happen in the future, Dexter was unknowingly influenced by his winter dreams.







II

Now, of course, the quality and the seasonability of these winter dreams varied, but the stuff of them remained. They persuaded Dexter several years later to pass up a business course at the State university—his father, prospering now, would have paid his way—for the precarious advantage of attending an older and more famous university in the East, where he was bothered by his scanty funds. But do not get the impression, because his winter dreams happened to be concerned at first with musings on the rich, that there was anything merely snobbish in the boy. He wanted not association with glittering things and glittering people—he wanted the glittering things themselves. Often he reached out for the best without knowing why he wanted it—and sometimes he ran up against the mysterious denials and prohibitions in which life indulges. It is with one of those denials and not with his career as a whole that this story deals.

Now, of course, the quality and seasonality of these winter dreams varied, but their essence remained. They convinced Dexter several years later to skip a business course at the state university—his father, who was doing well now, would have paid for it—in favor of the uncertain chance to attend an older and more prestigious university in the East, where he struggled with his limited funds. However, don't get the impression that, just because his winter dreams initially revolved around thoughts of the wealthy, there was anything simply snobbish about the boy. He didn't want to mingle with flashy things and flashy people—he wanted the flashy things themselves. Often, he reached for the best without understanding why he wanted it—and sometimes he faced the mysterious rejections and restrictions that life throws at us. This story deals with one of those rejections and not with his career as a whole.

He made money. It was rather amazing. After college he went to the city from which Black Bear Lake draws its wealthy patrons. When he was only twenty-three and had been there not quite two years, there were already people who liked to say: "Now there's a boy—" All about him rich men's sons were peddling bonds precariously, or investing patrimonies precariously, or plodding through the two dozen volumes of the "George Washington Commercial Course," but Dexter borrowed a thousand dollars on his college degree and his confident mouth, and bought a partnership in a laundry.

He made money. It was pretty amazing. After college, he moved to the city that Black Bear Lake gets its wealthy customers from. By the time he was just twenty-three and had been there for almost two years, people were already saying, “Now there's a guy—” All around him, rich kids were trying to sell bonds or investing their family fortunes in risky ventures, or slogging through the twenty-plus books of the "George Washington Commercial Course," but Dexter took out a loan of a thousand dollars based on his college degree and his confident attitude, and bought a stake in a laundry.

It was a small laundry when he went into it but Dexter made a specialty of learning how the English washed fine woollen golf-stockings without shrinking them, and within a year he was catering to the trade that wore knickerbockers. Men were insisting that their Shetland hose and sweaters go to his laundry just as they had insisted on a caddy who could find golf-balls. A little later he was doing their wives' lingerie as well—and running five branches in different parts of the city. Before he was twenty-seven he owned the largest string of laundries in his section of the country. It was then that he sold out and went to New York. But the part of his story that concerns us goes back to the days when he was making his first big success.

It was a small laundry when he first walked in, but Dexter specialized in learning how the English washed fine wool golf socks without shrinking them. Within a year, he was serving the crowd that wore knickerbockers. Men insisted that their Shetland socks and sweaters be sent to his laundry, just like they had insisted on getting a caddy who could find golf balls. Soon after, he started handling their wives' lingerie too—and opened five branches in different parts of the city. Before he turned twenty-seven, he owned the largest chain of laundries in his region. That’s when he sold everything and moved to New York. But the part of his story that matters to us takes us back to the days when he was achieving his first significant success.

When he was twenty-three Mr. Hart—one of the gray-haired men who like to say "Now there's a boy"—gave him a guest card to the Sherry Island Golf Club for a week-end. So he signed his name one day on the register, and that afternoon played golf in a foursome with Mr. Hart and Mr. Sandwood and Mr. T. A. Hedrick. He did not consider it necessary to remark that he had once carried Mr. Hart's bag over this same links, and that he knew every trap and gully with his eyes shut—but he found himself glancing at the four caddies who trailed them, trying to catch a gleam or gesture that would remind him of himself, that would lessen the gap which lay between his present and his past.

When he was twenty-three, Mr. Hart—one of those older guys who like to say, "Now there's a boy"—gave him a guest card to the Sherry Island Golf Club for the weekend. So he signed his name one day in the register, and that afternoon played golf in a foursome with Mr. Hart, Mr. Sandwood, and Mr. T. A. Hedrick. He didn’t feel the need to mention that he had once carried Mr. Hart's bag over the same course, and that he knew every trap and gully with his eyes closed—but he found himself looking at the four caddies following them, trying to see a gleam or gesture that would remind him of himself, something that would help bridge the gap between his present and his past.

It was a curious day, slashed abruptly with fleeting, familiar impressions. One minute he had the sense of being a trespasser—in the next he was impressed by the tremendous superiority he felt toward Mr. T. A. Hedrick, who was a bore and not even a good golfer any more.

It was an odd day, suddenly interrupted by brief, familiar feelings. One moment he felt like an intruder—then he was struck by how much better he believed he was than Mr. T. A. Hedrick, who was dull and not even a decent golfer anymore.

Then, because of a ball Mr. Hart lost near the fifteenth green, an enormous thing happened. While they were searching the stiff grasses of the rough there was a clear call of "Fore!" from behind a hill in their rear. And as they all turned abruptly from their search a bright new ball sliced abruptly over the hill and caught Mr. T. A. Hedrick in the abdomen.

Then, because Mr. Hart lost a ball near the fifteenth green, something huge happened. While they were searching the tough grasses of the rough, a loud "Fore!" came from behind a hill behind them. As they all turned quickly from their search, a bright new ball suddenly sliced over the hill and hit Mr. T. A. Hedrick in the stomach.

"By Gad!" cried Mr. T. A. Hedrick, "they ought to put some of these crazy women off the course. It's getting to be outrageous."

"By God!" exclaimed Mr. T. A. Hedrick, "they should remove some of these crazy women from the course. It's becoming outrageous."

A head and a voice came up together over the hill:

A head and a voice appeared together over the hill:

"Do you mind if we go through?"

"Do you mind if we pass through?"

"You hit me in the stomach!" declared Mr. Hedrick wildly.

"You punched me in the stomach!" shouted Mr. Hedrick frantically.

"Did I?" The girl approached the group of men. "I'm sorry. I yelled 'Fore!'"

"Did I?" The girl walked over to the group of men. "I'm sorry. I shouted 'Fore!'"

Her glance fell casually on each of the men—then scanned the fairway for her ball.

Her eyes casually glanced at each of the men—then she looked down the fairway for her ball.

"Did I bounce into the rough?"

"Did I hit the rough?"

It was impossible to determine whether this question was ingenuous or malicious. In a moment, however, she left no doubt, for as her partner came up over the hill she called cheerfully:

It was impossible to tell if this question was sincere or spiteful. In an instant, though, she made it clear, for as her partner crested the hill, she called out happily:

"Here I am! I'd have gone on the green except that I hit something."

"Here I am! I would have gone on the green, but I hit something."

As she took her stance for a short mashie shot, Dexter looked at her closely. She wore a blue gingham dress, rimmed at throat and shoulders with a white edging that accentuated her tan. The quality of exaggeration, of thinness, which had made her passionate eyes and down-turning mouth absurd at eleven, was gone now. She was arrestingly beautiful. The color in her cheeks was centred like the color in a picture—it was not a "high" color, but a sort of fluctuating and feverish warmth, so shaded that it seemed at any moment it would recede and disappear. This color and the mobility of her mouth gave a continual impression of flux, of intense life, of passionate vitality—balanced only partially by the sad luxury of her eyes.

As she positioned herself for a short mashie shot, Dexter watched her closely. She wore a blue gingham dress, edged in white around the neck and shoulders, which highlighted her tan. The quality of exaggeration and thinness that had made her passionate eyes and down-turning mouth seem absurd at eleven was gone now. She was strikingly beautiful. The color in her cheeks was centered like a splash in a painting—it wasn't a "high" color, but rather a kind of fluctuating and feverish warmth, so nuanced that it seemed like it could fade away at any moment. This color and the movement of her mouth created a constant sense of change, intense life, and passionate energy—only partially balanced by the melancholy richness of her eyes.

She swung her mashie impatiently and without interest, pitching the ball into a sand-pit on the other side of the green. With a quick, insincere smile and a careless "Thank you!" she went on after it.

She swung her club impatiently and without interest, sending the ball into a sand trap on the other side of the green. With a quick, fake smile and a casual "Thanks!" she moved on after it.

"That Judy Jones!" remarked Mr. Hedrick on the next tee, as they waited—some moments—for her to play on ahead. "All she needs is to be turned up and spanked for six months and then to be married off to an old-fashioned cavalry captain."

"That Judy Jones!" Mr. Hedrick said on the next tee, as they waited—briefly—for her to play ahead. "All she needs is to be put in line for six months and then married off to an old-school cavalry captain."

"My God, she's good-looking!" said Mr. Sandwood, who was just over thirty.

"My gosh, she's stunning!" said Mr. Sandwood, who was just over thirty.

"Good-looking!" cried Mr. Hedrick contemptuously, "she always looks as if she wanted to be kissed! Turning those big cow-eyes on every calf in town!"

"Good-looking!" scoffed Mr. Hedrick, "she always acts like she wants to be kissed! Flashing those big doe eyes at every guy in town!"

It was doubtful if Mr. Hedrick intended a reference to the maternal instinct.

It was unclear whether Mr. Hedrick meant to refer to the maternal instinct.

"She'd play pretty good golf if she'd try," said Mr. Sandwood.

"She'd play really good golf if she gave it a shot," said Mr. Sandwood.

"She has no form," said Mr. Hedrick solemnly.

"She doesn't have any shape," Mr. Hedrick said seriously.

"She has a nice figure," said Mr. Sandwood.

"She has a great figure," said Mr. Sandwood.

"Better thank the Lord she doesn't drive a swifter ball," said Mr. Hart, winking at Dexter.

"Thank goodness she doesn't hit the ball any harder," Mr. Hart said, winking at Dexter.

Later in the afternoon the sun went down with a riotous swirl of gold and varying blues and scarlets, and left the dry, rustling night of Western summer. Dexter watched from the veranda of the Golf Club, watched the even overlap of the waters in the little wind, silver molasses under the harvest-moon. Then the moon held a finger to her lips and the lake became a clear pool, pale and quiet. Dexter put on his bathing-suit and swam out to the farthest raft, where he stretched dripping on the wet canvas of the spring-board.

Later in the afternoon, the sun set with a wild mix of gold, blues, and reds, leaving behind the dry, rustling night of a Western summer. Dexter watched from the Golf Club's veranda, observing the calm waters ripple slightly in the breeze, looking like silver molasses under the harvest moon. Then the moon shushed the world, and the lake transformed into a clear, quiet pool. Dexter put on his swimsuit and swam out to the farthest raft, where he lay dripping on the wet canvas of the springboard.

There was a fish jumping and a star shining and the lights around the lake were gleaming. Over on a dark peninsula a piano was playing the songs of last summer and of summers before that—songs from "Chin-Chin" and "The Count of Luxemburg" and "The Chocolate Soldier"—and because the sound of a piano over a stretch of water had always seemed beautiful to Dexter he lay perfectly quiet and listened.

There was a fish leaping, a star twinkling, and the lights around the lake were sparkling. On a dark peninsula, a piano was playing the tunes of last summer and summers before that—songs from "Chin-Chin," "The Count of Luxembourg," and "The Chocolate Soldier." Because the sound of a piano over a stretch of water had always felt beautiful to Dexter, he lay completely still and listened.

The tune the piano was playing at that moment had been gay and new five years before when Dexter was a sophomore at college. They had played it at a prom once when he could not afford the luxury of proms, and he had stood outside the gymnasium and listened. The sound of the tune precipitated in him a sort of ecstasy and it was with that ecstasy he viewed what happened to him now. It was a mood of intense appreciation, a sense that, for once, he was magnificently attune to life and that everything about him was radiating a brightness and a glamour he might never know again.

The tune the piano was playing at that moment had been lively and fresh five years earlier when Dexter was a sophomore in college. They had performed it at a prom once when he couldn’t afford to go, and he had stood outside the gymnasium and listened. The sound of the tune stirred a kind of ecstasy in him, and it was with that feeling of joy that he perceived what was happening to him now. It was a mood of deep appreciation, a sense that, for once, he was perfectly in tune with life, and that everything around him was glowing with a brightness and charm he might never experience again.

A low, pale oblong detached itself suddenly from the darkness of the Island, spitting forth the reverberate sound of a racing motor-boat. Two white streamers of cleft water rolled themselves out behind it and almost immediately the boat was beside him, drowning out the hot tinkle of the piano in the drone of its spray. Dexter raising himself on his arms was aware of a figure standing at the wheel, of two dark eyes regarding him over the lengthening space of water—then the boat had gone by and was sweeping in an immense and purposeless circle of spray round and round in the middle of the lake. With equal eccentricity one of the circles flattened out and headed back toward the raft.

A low, pale rectangle suddenly broke away from the darkness of the Island, making the loud sound of a speeding motorboat. Two white trails of split water followed behind it, and almost right away the boat was next to him, drowning out the light tinkling of the piano with the noise of its spray. As Dexter propped himself up on his arms, he noticed a figure at the wheel, two dark eyes watching him across the expanding space of water—then the boat zoomed past, creating a huge and aimless circle of spray, going round and round in the middle of the lake. In a similarly odd way, one of the circles flattened out and turned back toward the raft.

"Who's that?" she called, shutting off her motor. She was so near now that Dexter could see her bathing-suit, which consisted apparently of pink rompers.

"Who's that?" she yelled, turning off her engine. She was so close now that Dexter could see her swimsuit, which was apparently made up of pink rompers.

The nose of the boat bumped the raft, and as the latter tilted rakishly he was precipitated toward her. With different degrees of interest they recognized each other.

The front of the boat hit the raft, and as it tilted awkwardly, he was thrown toward her. With varying levels of interest, they recognized one another.

"Aren't you one of those men we played through this afternoon?" she demanded.

"Aren't you one of those guys we played with this afternoon?" she asked.

He was.

He existed.

"Well, do you know how to drive a motor-boat? Because if you do I wish you'd drive this one so I can ride on the surf-board behind. My name is Judy Jones"—she favored him with an absurd smirk—rather, what tried to be a smirk, for, twist her mouth as she might, it was not grotesque, it was merely beautiful—"and I live in a house over there on the Island, and in that house there is a man waiting for me. When he drove up at the door I drove out of the dock because he says I'm his ideal."

"Hey, do you know how to drive a motorboat? Because if you do, I’d love for you to drive this one so I can ride the surfboard behind it. My name is Judy Jones"—she gave him a silly grin—rather, what was supposed to be a grin, because no matter how she twisted her mouth, it wasn’t weird, it was just beautiful—"and I live in a house over there on the Island, and in that house, there’s a guy waiting for me. When he pulled up to the door, I took off from the dock because he says I’m his ideal."

There was a fish jumping and a star shining and the lights around the lake were gleaming. Dexter sat beside Judy Jones and she explained how her boat was driven. Then she was in the water, swimming to the floating surf-board with a sinuous crawl. Watching her was without effort to the eye, watching a branch waving or a sea-gull flying. Her arms, burned to butternut, moved sinuously among the dull platinum ripples, elbow appearing first, casting the forearm back with a cadence of falling water, then reaching out and down, stabbing a path ahead.

There was a fish jumping and a star shining, and the lights around the lake were sparkling. Dexter sat next to Judy Jones as she explained how her boat worked. Then she jumped into the water, swimming toward the floating surfboard with a smooth crawl. Watching her was as effortless as watching a branch sway or a seagull fly. Her arms, sun-kissed to a deep tan, moved gracefully through the dull platinum ripples, with her elbow surfacing first, flicking her forearm back in a rhythm like falling water, then reaching out and down, carving a path ahead.

They moved out into the lake; turning, Dexter saw that she was kneeling on the low rear of the now uptilted surf-board.

They moved out onto the lake; turning, Dexter saw that she was kneeling on the low back of the now tilted surfboard.

"Go faster," she called, "fast as it'll go."

"Go faster," she shouted, "as fast as it can."

Obediently he jammed the lever forward and the white spray mounted at the bow. When he looked around again the girl was standing up on the rushing board, her arms spread wide, her eyes lifted toward the moon.

Obediently, he pushed the lever forward and the white spray shot up at the front. When he looked around again, the girl was standing on the rushing board, her arms spread wide and her eyes lifted toward the moon.

"It's awful cold," she shouted. "What's your name?"

"It's really cold," she shouted. "What's your name?"

He told her.

He told her.

"Well, why don't you come to dinner to-morrow night?"

"Well, why don't you come to dinner tomorrow night?"

His heart turned over like the fly-wheel of the boat, and, for the second time, her casual whim gave a new direction to his life.

His heart flipped like the flywheel of the boat, and, for the second time, her offhand decision changed the course of his life.







III

Next evening while he waited for her to come down-stairs, Dexter peopled the soft deep summer room and the sun-porch that opened from it with the men who had already loved Judy Jones. He knew the sort of men they were—the men who when he first went to college had entered from the great prep schools with graceful clothes and the deep tan of healthy summers. He had seen that, in one sense, he was better than these men. He was newer and stronger. Yet in acknowledging to himself that he wished his children to be like them he was admitting that he was but the rough, strong stuff from which they eternally sprang.

Next evening while he waited for her to come downstairs, Dexter filled the soft, warm summer room and the sunroom that opened from it with the guys who had already loved Judy Jones. He knew what kind of guys they were—the ones who, when he first went to college, had come from the prestigious prep schools wearing stylish clothes and sporting a deep tan from healthy summers. He had realized that, in some ways, he was better than these guys. He was fresher and stronger. Yet by admitting to himself that he wanted his kids to be like them, he was recognizing that he was just the rough, strong material they always came from.

When the time had come for him to wear good clothes, he had known who were the best tailors in America, and the best tailors in America had made him the suit he wore this evening. He had acquired that particular reserve peculiar to his university, that set it off from other universities. He recognized the value to him of such a mannerism and he had adopted it; he knew that to be careless in dress and manner required more confidence than to be careful. But carelessness was for his children. His mother's name had been Krimslich. She was a Bohemian of the peasant class and she had talked broken English to the end of her days. Her son must keep to the set patterns.

When it was time for him to wear nice clothes, he knew who the best tailors in America were, and they made the suit he was wearing that evening. He had developed that distinctive reserve typical of his university, which set it apart from others. He understood the importance of such a demeanor and had embraced it; he realized that being casual in dress and behavior took more confidence than being neat and put-together. But that carelessness was for his kids. His mother’s name was Krimslich. She was a Bohemian from the peasant class and spoke broken English until she passed away. Her son had to stick to the established norms.

At a little after seven Judy Jones came down-stairs. She wore a blue silk afternoon dress, and he was disappointed at first that she had not put on something more elaborate. This feeling was accentuated when, after a brief greeting, she went to the door of a butler's pantry and pushing it open called: "You can serve dinner, Martha." He had rather expected that a butler would announce dinner, that there would be a cocktail. Then he put these thoughts behind him as they sat down side by side on a lounge and looked at each other.

At just after seven, Judy Jones came downstairs. She was wearing a blue silk afternoon dress, and at first, he was let down that she hadn’t chosen something fancier. This feeling grew stronger when, after a quick hello, she walked to the door of the butler's pantry and called out, "You can serve dinner, Martha." He had expected a butler to announce dinner and thought there would be cocktails. But he pushed those thoughts aside as they sat down next to each other on a lounge and looked at each other.

"Father and mother won't be here," she said thoughtfully.

"Mom and dad won't be here," she said thoughtfully.

He remembered the last time he had seen her father, and he was glad the parents were not to be here to-night—they might wonder who he was. He had been born in Keeble, a Minnesota village fifty miles farther north, and he always gave Keeble as his home instead of Black Bear Village. Country towns were well enough to come from if they weren't inconveniently in sight and used as footstools by fashionable lakes.

He recalled the last time he had seen her dad, and he was relieved the parents weren't coming tonight—they might question who he was. He was born in Keeble, a small town in Minnesota fifty miles to the north, and he always claimed Keeble as his hometown instead of Black Bear Village. Small towns were fine to come from as long as they weren’t right in view, being used as footstools by trendy lakes.

They talked of his university, which she had visited frequently during the past two years, and of the near-by city which supplied Sherry Island with its patrons, and whither Dexter would return next day to his prospering laundries.

They talked about his university, which she had visited often over the past two years, and about the nearby city that provided Sherry Island with its visitors, and where Dexter would go back the next day to his successful laundries.

During dinner she slipped into a moody depression which gave Dexter a feeling of uneasiness. Whatever petulance she uttered in her throaty voice worried him. Whatever she smiled at—at him, at a chicken liver, at nothing—it disturbed him that her smile could have no root in mirth, or even in amusement. When the scarlet corners of her lips curved down, it was less a smile than an invitation to a kiss.

During dinner, she fell into a gloomy mood that made Dexter feel uneasy. Anything she complained about in her husky voice made him worry. No matter what she smiled at—whether it was him, a chicken liver, or nothing at all—it troubled him that her smile seemed completely devoid of joy or even amusement. When the red corners of her lips turned down, it felt less like a smile and more like an invitation for a kiss.

Then, after dinner, she led him out on the dark sun-porch and deliberately changed the atmosphere.

Then, after dinner, she took him out to the dark sunroom and intentionally shifted the mood.

"Do you mind if I weep a little?" she said.

"Do you mind if I cry a bit?" she said.

"I'm afraid I'm boring you," he responded quickly.

"I'm worried I'm boring you," he replied quickly.

"You're not. I like you. But I've just had a terrible afternoon. There was a man I cared about, and this afternoon he told me out of a clear sky that he was poor as a church-mouse. He'd never even hinted it before. Does this sound horribly mundane?"

"You're not. I like you. But I've just had a really rough afternoon. There was a guy I cared about, and this afternoon he suddenly told me that he was broke. He had never even hinted at it before. Does this sound incredibly boring?"

"Perhaps he was afraid to tell you."

"Maybe he was scared to tell you."

"Suppose he was," she answered. "He didn't start right. You see, if I'd thought of him as poor—well, I've been mad about loads of poor men, and fully intended to marry them all. But in this case, I hadn't thought of him that way, and my interest in him wasn't strong enough to survive the shock. As if a girl calmly informed her fiancé that she was a widow. He might not object to widows, but——

"Maybe he was," she replied. "He didn’t start off well. You see, if I had thought of him as poor—well, I’ve been crazy about a lot of poor guys and fully intended to marry them all. But in this case, I hadn’t seen him that way, and my interest in him wasn’t strong enough to handle the surprise. It’s like a girl casually telling her fiancé that she’s a widow. He might not mind widows, but——

"Let's start right," she interrupted herself suddenly. "Who are you, anyhow?"

"Let's get this started right," she suddenly interrupted herself. "Who are you, anyway?"

For a moment Dexter hesitated. Then:

For a moment, Dexter paused. Then:

"I'm nobody," he announced. "My career is largely a matter of futures."

"I'm nobody," he said. "My career is mostly about what’s ahead."

"Are you poor?"

"Are you struggling financially?"

"No," he said frankly, "I'm probably making more money than any man my age in the Northwest. I know that's an obnoxious remark, but you advised me to start right."

"No," he said honestly, "I'm probably making more money than any guy my age in the Northwest. I know that's a cocky thing to say, but you told me to start off strong."

There was a pause. Then she smiled and the corners of her mouth drooped and an almost imperceptible sway brought her closer to him, looking up into his eyes. A lump rose in Dexter's throat, and he waited breathless for the experiment, facing the unpredictable compound that would form mysteriously from the elements of their lips. Then he saw—she communicated her excitement to him, lavishly, deeply, with kisses that were not a promise but a fulfilment. They aroused in him not hunger demanding renewal but surfeit that would demand more surfeit ... kisses that were like charity, creating want by holding back nothing at all.

There was a pause. Then she smiled, and the corners of her mouth fell slightly, while an almost unnoticeable sway brought her closer to him as she looked up into his eyes. A lump formed in Dexter's throat, and he waited, breathless for the experience, facing the unpredictable blend that would mysteriously form from their lips. Then he realized—she shared her excitement with him, lavishly and deeply, through kisses that weren’t just promises but fulfillment. They stirred in him not a hunger that craved renewal but an abundance that would ask for even more ... kisses that felt like generosity, creating desire by holding back nothing at all.

It did not take him many hours to decide that he had wanted Judy Jones ever since he was a proud, desirous little boy.

It didn't take him long to realize that he had wanted Judy Jones ever since he was a proud, eager little boy.







IV

It began like that—and continued, with varying shades of intensity, on such a note right up to the dénouement. Dexter surrendered a part of himself to the most direct and unprincipled personality with which he had ever come in contact. Whatever Judy wanted, she went after with the full pressure of her charm. There was no divergence of method, no jockeying for position or premeditation of effects—there was a very little mental side to any of her affairs. She simply made men conscious to the highest degree of her physical loveliness. Dexter had no desire to change her. Her deficiencies were knit up with a passionate energy that transcended and justified them.

It started like that—and kept going, with different levels of intensity, all the way to the ending. Dexter gave part of himself to the most straightforward and ruthless person he had ever met. Whatever Judy wanted, she pursued with all her charm. There was no manipulation, no playing for advantage or planning effects—her affairs had very little mental effort involved. She just made men acutely aware of her physical beauty. Dexter didn’t want to change her. Her flaws were intertwined with a passionate energy that surpassed and justified them.

When, as Judy's head lay against his shoulder that first night, she whispered, "I don't know what's the matter with me. Last night I thought I was in love with a man and to-night I think I'm in love with you——"—it seemed to him a beautiful and romantic thing to say. It was the exquisite excitability that for the moment he controlled and owned. But a week later he was compelled to view this same quality in a different light. She took him in her roadster to a picnic supper, and after supper she disappeared, likewise in her roadster, with another man. Dexter became enormously upset and was scarcely able to be decently civil to the other people present. When she assured him that she had not kissed the other man, he knew she was lying—yet he was glad that she had taken the trouble to lie to him.

When Judy's head rested on his shoulder that first night and she whispered, "I don't know what's wrong with me. Last night I thought I was in love with a man, and tonight I think I'm in love with you——" it felt like a beautiful and romantic thing to say. It was that thrilling excitement that he momentarily controlled and felt he owned. But a week later, he had to see this same quality in a different light. She took him in her convertible to a picnic dinner, and after dinner, she vanished, also in her convertible, with another guy. Dexter became incredibly upset and could hardly be civil to the other people there. When she assured him that she hadn’t kissed the other man, he knew she was lying—yet he was glad she had gone to the trouble to lie to him.

He was, as he found before the summer ended, one of a varying dozen who circulated about her. Each of them had at one time been favored above all others—about half of them still basked in the solace of occasional sentimental revivals. Whenever one showed signs of dropping out through long neglect, she granted him a brief honeyed hour, which encouraged him to tag along for a year or so longer. Judy made these forays upon the helpless and defeated without malice, indeed half unconscious that there was anything mischievous in what she did.

He discovered before summer wrapped up that he was one of several guys who revolved around her. Each of them had at some point been her favorite—around half of them still enjoyed occasional moments of sentimental attention. Whenever one began to fade away due to long neglect, she would give him a short, sweet hour, which motivated him to stick around for another year or so. Judy made these moves on the vulnerable and defeated without any ill intentions, even partly unaware that there was anything wrong with what she was doing.

When a new man came to town every one dropped out—dates were automatically cancelled.

When a new guy arrived in town, everyone backed out—plans were instantly cancelled.

The helpless part of trying to do anything about it was that she did it all herself. She was not a girl who could be "won" in the kinetic sense—she was proof against cleverness, she was proof against charm; if any of these assailed her too strongly she would immediately resolve the affair to a physical basis, and under the magic of her physical splendor the strong as well as the brilliant played her game and not their own. She was entertained only by the gratification of her desires and by the direct exercise of her own charm. Perhaps from so much youthful love, so many youthful lovers, she had come, in self-defense, to nourish herself wholly from within.

The frustrating thing about trying to change anything was that she handled it all on her own. She wasn't a girl who could be "won" in a traditional sense—she was immune to cleverness and charm; if anyone tried too hard, she'd instantly turn it into a physical situation, and under the spell of her stunning looks, both the strong and the smart ended up playing by her rules instead of their own. The only thing that entertained her was satisfying her own desires and directly exercising her own charm. Maybe after so many experiences with youthful love and numerous young admirers, she had, as a form of self-protection, learned to feed entirely off her own inner resources.

Succeeding Dexter's first exhilaration came restlessness and dissatisfaction. The helpless ecstasy of losing himself in her was opiate rather than tonic. It was fortunate for his work during the winter that those moments of ecstasy came infrequently. Early in their acquaintance it had seemed for a while that there was a deep and spontaneous mutual attraction—that first August, for example—three days of long evenings on her dusky veranda, of strange wan kisses through the late afternoon, in shadowy alcoves or behind the protecting trellises of the garden arbors, of mornings when she was fresh as a dream and almost shy at meeting him in the clarity of the rising day. There was all the ecstasy of an engagement about it, sharpened by his realization that there was no engagement. It was during those three days that, for the first time, he had asked her to marry him. She said "maybe some day," she said "kiss me," she said "I'd like to marry you," she said "I love you"—she said—nothing.

After Dexter's initial excitement, he felt a growing restlessness and dissatisfaction. Losing himself in her was more like a drug than a refreshing escape. Luckily for his work that winter, those blissful moments were rare. In the beginning of their relationship, it had seemed like there was a genuine, spontaneous connection—especially that first August, when they spent three long evenings on her dimly lit porch, sharing awkward kisses in the late afternoon, hiding in shadowy corners or behind the protective trellises of the garden, and enjoying mornings when she was as fresh as a dream and almost shy to meet him in the bright morning light. It felt like the joy of being engaged, intensified by his awareness that they weren’t actually engaged. It was during those three days that he had first asked her to marry him. She said "maybe someday," then she said "kiss me," then she said "I'd like to marry you," then she said "I love you"—and then she said—nothing.

The three days were interrupted by the arrival of a New York man who visited at her house for half September. To Dexter's agony, rumor engaged them. The man was the son of the president of a great trust company. But at the end of a month it was reported that Judy was yawning. At a dance one night she sat all evening in a motor-boat with a local beau, while the New Yorker searched the club for her frantically. She told the local beau that she was bored with her visitor, and two days later he left. She was seen with him at the station, and it was reported that he looked very mournful indeed.

The three days were interrupted by the arrival of a guy from New York who stayed at her house for half of September. To Dexter’s despair, rumors got around that they were together. The guy was the son of the president of a major trust company. But by the end of the month, it was said that Judy was losing interest. At a dance one night, she spent the whole evening in a boat with a local guy while the New Yorker searched the club for her desperately. She told the local guy that she was bored with her visitor, and two days later, he went home. She was spotted with him at the train station, and it was said that he looked really sad.

On this note the summer ended. Dexter was twenty-four, and he found himself increasingly in a position to do as he wished. He joined two clubs in the city and lived at one of them. Though he was by no means an integral part of the stag-lines at these clubs, he managed to be on hand at dances where Judy Jones was likely to appear. He could have gone out socially as much as he liked—he was an eligible young man, now, and popular with down-town fathers. His confessed devotion to Judy Jones had rather solidified his position. But he had no social aspirations and rather despised the dancing men who were always on tap for the Thursday or Saturday parties and who filled in at dinners with the younger married set. Already he was playing with the idea of going East to New York. He wanted to take Judy Jones with him. No disillusion as to the world in which she had grown up could cure his illusion as to her desirability.

On this note, summer came to an end. Dexter was twenty-four and found himself more able to do what he wanted. He joined two clubs in the city and stayed at one of them. Although he wasn’t really part of the main crowd at these clubs, he made sure to be at dances where Judy Jones was likely to show up. He could have been out socially as much as he wanted—he was a desirable young man now and well-liked by downtown fathers. His open admiration for Judy Jones had definitely strengthened his status. But he had no interest in social climbing and actually looked down on the guys who were always available for Thursday or Saturday parties and who filled in at dinners with the younger married crowd. He was already toying with the idea of heading east to New York and wanted to take Judy Jones with him. No amount of disillusionment about the world she had grown up in could change his belief in her allure.

Remember that—for only in the light of it can what he did for her be understood.

Remember that—only in the light of it can what he did for her be understood.

Eighteen months after he first met Judy Jones he became engaged to another girl. Her name was Irene Scheerer, and her father was one of the men who had always believed in Dexter. Irene was light-haired and sweet and honorable, and a little stout, and she had two suitors whom she pleasantly relinquished when Dexter formally asked her to marry him.

Eighteen months after he first met Judy Jones, he got engaged to another girl. Her name was Irene Scheerer, and her dad was one of the men who had always believed in Dexter. Irene was light-haired, sweet, and honorable, a bit on the hefty side, and she had two suitors whom she kindly let go when Dexter officially asked her to marry him.

Summer, fall, winter, spring, another summer, another fall—so much he had given of his active life to the incorrigible lips of Judy Jones. She had treated him with interest, with encouragement, with malice, with indifference, with contempt. She had inflicted on him the innumerable little slights and indignities possible in such a case—as if in revenge for having ever cared for him at all. She had beckoned him and yawned at him and beckoned him again and he had responded often with bitterness and narrowed eyes. She had brought him ecstatic happiness and intolerable agony of spirit. She had caused him untold inconvenience and not a little trouble. She had insulted him, and she had ridden over him, and she had played his interest in her against his interest in his work—for fun. She had done everything to him except to criticise him—this she had not done—it seemed to him only because it might have sullied the utter indifference she manifested and sincerely felt toward him.

Summer, fall, winter, spring, another summer, another fall—he had given so much of his active life to the unpredictable nature of Judy Jones. She had treated him with interest, encouragement, malice, indifference, and contempt. She had subjected him to countless little slights and humiliations, as if to get back at him for ever caring at all. She had called him over, then yawned, and then called him again, while he often responded with bitterness and narrowed eyes. She had brought him ecstatic joy and unbearable emotional pain. She had caused him countless inconveniences and some real trouble. She had insulted him, trampled over him, and toyed with his feelings for her against his passion for his work—for amusement. She had done everything to him except criticize him—she hadn’t done that, seemingly because it might have tarnished the complete indifference she showed and genuinely felt toward him.

When autumn had come and gone again it occurred to him that he could not have Judy Jones. He had to beat this into his mind but he convinced himself at last. He lay awake at night for a while and argued it over. He told himself the trouble and the pain she had caused him, he enumerated her glaring deficiencies as a wife. Then he said to himself that he loved her, and after a while he fell asleep. For a week, lest he imagined her husky voice over the telephone or her eyes opposite him at lunch, he worked hard and late, and at night he went to his office and plotted out his years.

When autumn came and went again, he realized he couldn't have Judy Jones. He had to drill this into his mind, but eventually, he managed to accept it. He lay awake at night for a while, going over it in his head. He reminded himself of the trouble and pain she had caused him, listing her obvious shortcomings as a partner. Then he told himself that he loved her, and after some time, he fell asleep. For a week, to avoid imagining her husky voice on the phone or her eyes across from him at lunch, he worked hard and late, and at night, he went to his office and mapped out his future.

At the end of a week he went to a dance and cut in on her once. For almost the first time since they had met he did not ask her to sit out with him or tell her that she was lovely. It hurt him that she did not miss these things—that was all. He was not jealous when he saw that there was a new man to-night. He had been hardened against jealousy long before.

At the end of the week, he went to a dance and stepped in once to dance with her. For almost the first time since they met, he didn’t ask her to sit out with him or tell her she looked beautiful. It hurt him that she didn’t seem to miss those things—that was all. He wasn’t jealous when he saw a new guy there tonight. He had hardened himself against jealousy a long time ago.

He stayed late at the dance. He sat for an hour with Irene Scheerer and talked about books and about music. He knew very little about either. But he was beginning to be master of his own time now, and he had a rather priggish notion that he—the young and already fabulously successful Dexter Green—should know more about such things.

He stayed late at the dance. He sat for an hour with Irene Scheerer and talked about books and music. He didn’t know much about either. But he was starting to take control of his own time now, and he had a somewhat snobby idea that he—the young and already incredibly successful Dexter Green—should know more about those topics.

That was in October, when he was twenty-five. In January, Dexter and Irene became engaged. It was to be announced in June, and they were to be married three months later.

That was in October, when he was twenty-five. In January, Dexter and Irene got engaged. They were set to announce it in June, and their wedding was planned for three months later.

The Minnesota winter prolonged itself interminably, and it was almost May when the winds came soft and the snow ran down into Black Bear Lake at last. For the first time in over a year Dexter was enjoying a certain tranquillity of spirit. Judy Jones had been in Florida, and afterward in Hot Springs, and somewhere she had been engaged, and somewhere she had broken it off. At first, when Dexter had definitely given her up, it had made him sad that people still linked them together and asked for news of her, but when he began to be placed at dinner next to Irene Scheerer people didn't ask him about her any more—they told him about her. He ceased to be an authority on her.

The Minnesota winter dragged on endlessly, and it was nearly May when the winds finally softened and the snow melted into Black Bear Lake. For the first time in over a year, Dexter felt a sense of peace. Judy Jones had been in Florida, then in Hot Springs, and at some point, she got engaged, but then she broke it off. Initially, when Dexter finally let her go, it made him sad that people still connected them and asked for updates about her. But when he started sitting next to Irene Scheerer at dinner, people stopped asking him about Judy—they started sharing news about her instead. He was no longer viewed as an expert on her life.

May at last. Dexter walked the streets at night when the darkness was damp as rain, wondering that so soon, with so little done, so much of ecstasy had gone from him. May one year back had been marked by Judy's poignant, unforgivable, yet forgiven turbulence—it had been one of those rare times when he fancied she had grown to care for him. That old penny's worth of happiness he had spent for this bushel of content. He knew that Irene would be no more than a curtain spread behind him, a hand moving among gleaming tea-cups, a voice calling to children ... fire and loveliness were gone, the magic of nights and the wonder of the varying hours and seasons ... slender lips, down-turning, dropping to his lips and bearing him up into a heaven of eyes.... The thing was deep in him. He was too strong and alive for it to die lightly.

May at last. Dexter walked the streets at night when the darkness felt as damp as rain, wondering how, so soon and with so little accomplished, so much of his joy had faded away. May a year ago had been marked by Judy's intense, unforgivable, yet somehow forgiven chaos—it had been one of those rare moments when he thought she actually cared for him. That little bit of happiness he had spent for this load of contentment. He knew that Irene would be nothing more than a curtain drawn behind him, a hand moving among shiny tea cups, a voice calling to children... the fire and beauty were gone, along with the magic of nights and the wonder of changing hours and seasons... slender lips, turning down, falling to his lips and lifting him up into a paradise of eyes... The feeling was deep within him. He was too strong and alive for it to fade away easily.

In the middle of May when the weather balanced for a few days on the thin bridge that led to deep summer he turned in one night at Irene's house. Their engagement was to be announced in a week now—no one would be surprised at it. And to-night they would sit together on the lounge at the University Club and look on for an hour at the dancers. It gave him a sense of solidity to go with her—she was so sturdily popular, so intensely "great."

In mid-May, when the weather hovered on the edge of summer for a few days, he showed up one night at Irene's house. Their engagement was set to be announced in a week—nobody would be shocked by it. Tonight, they would sit together on the couch at the University Club and watch the dancers for an hour. Being with her made him feel grounded—she was so widely liked, so incredibly "awesome."

He mounted the steps of the brownstone house and stepped inside.

He climbed the steps of the brownstone and went inside.

"Irene," he called.

"Irene," he yelled.

Mrs. Scheerer came out of the living-room to meet him.

Mrs. Scheerer stepped out of the living room to greet him.

"Dexter," she said, "Irene's gone up-stairs with a splitting headache. She wanted to go with you but I made her go to bed."

"Dexter," she said, "Irene went upstairs with a terrible headache. She wanted to go with you, but I made her go to bed."

"Nothing serious, I——"

"Nothing serious, I—"

"Oh, no. She's going to play golf with you in the morning. You can spare her for just one night, can't you, Dexter?"

"Oh, no. She's going to play golf with you in the morning. You can let her go for just one night, can't you, Dexter?"

Her smile was kind. She and Dexter liked each other. In the living-room he talked for a moment before he said good-night.

Her smile was warm. She and Dexter had a liking for each other. In the living room, he chatted for a bit before saying goodnight.

Returning to the University Club, where he had rooms, he stood in the doorway for a moment and watched the dancers. He leaned against the door-post, nodded at a man or two—yawned.

Returning to the University Club, where he had rooms, he stood in the doorway for a moment and watched the dancers. He leaned against the doorpost, nodded at a couple of guys—yawned.

"Hello, darling."

"Hey, babe."

The familiar voice at his elbow startled him. Judy Jones had left a man and crossed the room to him—Judy Jones, a slender enamelled doll in cloth of gold: gold in a band at her head, gold in two slipper points at her dress's hem. The fragile glow of her face seemed to blossom as she smiled at him. A breeze of warmth and light blew through the room. His hands in the pockets of his dinner-jacket tightened spasmodically. He was filled with a sudden excitement.

The familiar voice next to him surprised him. Judy Jones had left a guy and crossed the room to him—Judy Jones, a slender porcelain doll in golden fabric: gold in a band around her head, gold at the pointed hem of her dress. The delicate glow of her face seemed to brighten as she smiled at him. A wave of warmth and light filled the room. His hands in the pockets of his dinner jacket clenched tightly. He was suddenly filled with excitement.

"When did you get back?" he asked casually.

"When did you come back?" he asked casually.

"Come here and I'll tell you about it."

"Come over here and I'll tell you about it."

She turned and he followed her. She had been away—he could have wept at the wonder of her return. She had passed through enchanted streets, doing things that were like provocative music. All mysterious happenings, all fresh and quickening hopes, had gone away with her, come back with her now.

She turned and he followed her. She had been gone—he could have cried at the joy of her return. She had walked through magical streets, doing things that felt like exciting music. All the mysterious events, all the new and thrilling hopes, had left with her and come back with her now.

She turned in the doorway.

She turned in the doorway.

"Have you a car here? If you haven't, I have."

"Do you have a car here? If not, I do."

"I have a coupé."

"I have a coupe."

In then, with a rustle of golden cloth. He slammed the door. Into so many cars she had stepped—like this—like that—her back against the leather, so—her elbow resting on the door—waiting. She would have been soiled long since had there been anything to soil her—except herself—but this was her own self outpouring.

In that moment, with a rustle of golden fabric, he slammed the door. She had gotten into so many cars—like this—like that—with her back against the leather, so—her elbow resting on the door—waiting. She would have been ruined long ago if there had been anything to ruin her—except for herself—but this was just her own self pouring out.

With an effort he forced himself to start the car and back into the street. This was nothing, he must remember. She had done this before, and he had put her behind him, as he would have crossed a bad account from his books.

With effort, he made himself start the car and back into the street. This was nothing, he had to remind himself. She had done this before, and he had moved on from her, as he would have closed the books on a bad debt.

He drove slowly down-town and, affecting abstraction, traversed the deserted streets of the business section, peopled here and there where a movie was giving out its crowd or where consumptive or pugilistic youth lounged in front of pool halls. The clink of glasses and the slap of hands on the bars issued from saloons, cloisters of glazed glass and dirty yellow light.

He drove slowly downtown, acting like he was lost in thought as he made his way through the empty streets of the business district, where a few people gathered outside the movie theater or where restless young men hung out in front of pool halls. The sounds of clinking glasses and hands slapping on the bars came from saloons, which were filled with grimy yellow light and glass windows.

She was watching him closely and the silence was embarrassing; yet in this crisis he could find no casual word with which to profane the hour. At a convenient turning he began to zigzag back toward the University Club.

She was watching him closely, and the silence was awkward; yet in this moment, he couldn't find any casual words to lighten the mood. At a convenient turn, he started to zigzag back toward the University Club.

"Have you missed me?" she asked suddenly.

"Did you miss me?" she asked suddenly.

"Everybody missed you."

"Everyone missed you."

He wondered if she knew of Irene Scheerer. She had been back only a day—her absence had been almost contemporaneous with his engagement.

He wondered if she knew about Irene Scheerer. She had only been back for a day—her absence had almost coincided with his engagement.

"What a remark!" Judy laughed sadly—without sadness. She looked at him searchingly. He became absorbed in the dashboard.

"What a comment!" Judy laughed softly—without actually being sad. She studied him intently. He became focused on the dashboard.

"You're handsomer than you used to be," she said thoughtfully. "Dexter, you have the most rememberable eyes."

"You're better looking than you used to be," she said thoughtfully. "Dexter, you have the most unforgettable eyes."

He could have laughed at this, but he did not laugh. It was the sort of thing that was said to sophomores. Yet it stabbed at him.

He could have laughed at this, but he didn’t. It was the kind of thing said to sophomores. Yet it pierced him.

"I'm awfully tired of everything, darling." She called every one darling, endowing the endearment with careless, individual comraderie. "I wish you'd marry me."

"I'm really tired of everything, darling." She called everyone darling, giving the term a casual, friendly vibe. "I wish you'd marry me."

The directness of this confused him. He should have told her now that he was going to marry another girl, but he could not tell her. He could as easily have sworn that he had never loved her.

The straightforwardness of this confused him. He should have told her right then that he was going to marry someone else, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. He could just as easily have sworn that he had never loved her.

"I think we'd get along," she continued, on the same note, "unless probably you've forgotten me and fallen in love with another girl."

"I think we’d get along," she continued, staying on the same topic, "unless you’ve probably forgotten me and fallen for another girl."

Her confidence was obviously enormous. She had said, in effect, that she found such a thing impossible to believe, that if it were true he had merely committed a childish indiscretion—and probably to show off. She would forgive him, because it was not a matter of any moment but rather something to be brushed aside lightly.

Her confidence was clearly huge. She had effectively said that she found it impossible to believe, and if it were true, he had just made a silly mistake—probably to impress someone. She would let it go because it wasn't a big deal and was more like something to be easily overlooked.

"Of course you could never love anybody but me," she continued, "I like the way you love me. Oh, Dexter, have you forgotten last year?"

"Of course you could never love anyone but me," she continued, "I love the way you love me. Oh, Dexter, have you forgotten last year?"

"No, I haven't forgotten."

"No, I haven't forgotten."

"Neither have I!"

"Me neither!"

Was she sincerely moved—or was she carried along by the wave of her own acting?

Was she genuinely moved—or was she just caught up in her own performance?

"I wish we could be like that again," she said, and he forced himself to answer:

"I wish we could be like that again," she said, and he forced himself to respond:

"I don't think we can."

"I don't think we can."

"I suppose not.... I hear you're giving Irene Scheerer a violent rush."

"I guess not.... I heard you're really making a move on Irene Scheerer."

There was not the faintest emphasis on the name, yet Dexter was suddenly ashamed.

There was no emphasis on the name at all, but Dexter suddenly felt ashamed.

"Oh, take me home," cried Judy suddenly; "I don't want to go back to that idiotic dance—with those children."

"Oh, take me home," Judy suddenly cried; "I don't want to go back to that ridiculous dance—with those kids."

Then, as he turned up the street that led to the residence district, Judy began to cry quietly to herself. He had never seen her cry before.

Then, as he turned up the street that led to the residential area, Judy started to cry softly to herself. He had never seen her cry before.

The dark street lightened, the dwellings of the rich loomed up around them, he stopped his coupé in front of the great white bulk of the Mortimer Joneses house, somnolent, gorgeous, drenched with the splendor of the damp moonlight. Its solidity startled him. The strong walls, the steel of the girders, the breadth and beam and pomp of it were there only to bring out the contrast with the young beauty beside him. It was sturdy to accentuate her slightness—as if to show what a breeze could be generated by a butterfly's wing.

The dark street brightened as the fancy houses of the wealthy came into view. He parked his coupe in front of the large white structure of the Mortimer Joneses' house, sleepy, stunning, illuminated by the soft glow of the damp moonlight. Its solidity took him by surprise. The strong walls, the steel girders, the size and grandeur of it all were there to highlight the contrast with the young beauty next to him. It was solid to emphasize her delicateness—as if to demonstrate the kind of breeze a butterfly's wing could create.

He sat perfectly quiet, his nerves in wild clamor, afraid that if he moved he would find her irresistibly in his arms. Two tears had rolled down her wet face and trembled on her upper lip.

He sat completely still, his nerves in chaos, afraid that if he moved he would pull her into his arms. Two tears had rolled down her wet face and rested on her upper lip.

"I'm more beautiful than anybody else," she said brokenly, "why can't I be happy?" Her moist eyes tore at his stability—her mouth turned slowly downward with an exquisite sadness: "I'd like to marry you if you'll have me, Dexter. I suppose you think I'm not worth having, but I'll be so beautiful for you, Dexter."

"I'm more beautiful than anyone else," she said with a shaky voice, "why can't I be happy?" Her teary eyes challenged his composure—her lips slowly curled into a heartbreaking frown: "I'd like to marry you if you'll have me, Dexter. I guess you think I'm not worth it, but I'll be so beautiful for you, Dexter."

A million phrases of anger, pride, passion, hatred, tenderness fought on his lips. Then a perfect wave of emotion washed over him, carrying off with it a sediment of wisdom, of convention, of doubt, of honor. This was his girl who was speaking, his own, his beautiful, his pride.

A million expressions of anger, pride, passion, hatred, and tenderness battled on his lips. Then a powerful wave of emotion surged through him, sweeping away layers of wisdom, convention, doubt, and honor. This was his girl who was speaking, his own, his beautiful, his pride.

"Won't you come in?" He heard her draw in her breath sharply.

"Won't you come in?" He heard her inhale sharply.

Waiting.

Waiting.

"All right," his voice was trembling, "I'll come in."

"Okay," his voice was shaking, "I'll come in."







V

It was strange that neither when it was over nor a long time afterward did he regret that night. Looking at it from the perspective of ten years, the fact that Judy's flare for him endured just one month seemed of little importance. Nor did it matter that by his yielding he subjected himself to a deeper agony in the end and gave serious hurt to Irene Scheerer and to Irene's parents, who had befriended him. There was nothing sufficiently pictorial about Irene's grief to stamp itself on his mind.

It was odd that neither after it ended nor long after did he feel regret about that night. Looking back on it from ten years later, the fact that Judy's interest in him lasted only a month seemed unimportant. It also didn’t matter that by giving in, he ended up causing himself more pain and seriously hurt Irene Scheerer and her parents, who had been kind to him. There was nothing vivid enough about Irene's sadness to leave a lasting impression on him.

Dexter was at bottom hard-minded. The attitude of the city on his action was of no importance to him, not because he was going to leave the city, but because any outside attitude on the situation seemed superficial. He was completely indifferent to popular opinion. Nor, when he had seen that it was no use, that he did not possess in himself the power to move fundamentally or to hold Judy Jones, did he bear any malice toward her. He loved her, and he would love her until the day he was too old for loving—but he could not have her. So he tasted the deep pain that is reserved only for the strong, just as he had tasted for a little while the deep happiness.

Dexter was fundamentally tough-minded. The city's reaction to his actions didn’t matter to him, not because he planned to leave, but because any outside perspective on the situation felt shallow. He was completely indifferent to what people thought. Even when he realized it was pointless, that he didn't have the ability to fundamentally change things or keep Judy Jones with him, he didn’t harbor any bitterness toward her. He loved her, and he would continue to love her until he was too old to love—but he couldn’t have her. So, he experienced the deep pain that only the strong can feel, just as he had briefly experienced the deep happiness.

Even the ultimate falsity of the grounds upon which Judy terminated the engagement that she did not want to "take him away" from Irene—Judy, who had wanted nothing else—did not revolt him. He was beyond any revulsion or any amusement.

Even the complete lie behind Judy's excuse for ending the relationship—that she didn't want to "take him away" from Irene—when she actually wanted nothing more than that—didn't disgust him. He was beyond feeling disgust or even amusement.

He went East in February with the intention of selling out his laundries and settling in New York—but the war came to America in March and changed his plans. He returned to the West, handed over the management of the business to his partner, and went into the first officers' training-camp in late April. He was one of those young thousands who greeted the war with a certain amount of relief, welcoming the liberation from webs of tangled emotion.

He went East in February to sell his laundries and settle in New York—but the war hit America in March and changed everything. He returned to the West, handed over the management of the business to his partner, and joined the first officers' training camp in late April. He was one of the many young people who welcomed the war with relief, seeing it as a chance to escape their complicated emotions.







VI

This story is not his biography, remember, although things creep into it which have nothing to do with those dreams he had when he was young. We are almost done with them and with him now. There is only one more incident to be related here, and it happens seven years farther on.

This story isn't his biography, just so you know, even though there are parts that don't relate to the dreams he had when he was young. We're almost finished with him and those dreams now. There's just one more event to talk about, and it takes place seven years later.

It took place in New York, where he had done well—so well that there were no barriers too high for him. He was thirty-two years old, and, except for one flying trip immediately after the war, he had not been West in seven years. A man named Devlin from Detroit came into his office to see him in a business way, and then and there this incident occurred, and closed out, so to speak, this particular side of his life.

It happened in New York, where he had done really well—so well that nothing seemed out of reach for him. He was thirty-two years old, and apart from one quick trip right after the war, he hadn’t been West in seven years. A guy named Devlin from Detroit came into his office for a business meeting, and it was there that this incident happened, effectively wrapping up this chapter of his life.

"So you're from the Middle West," said the man Devlin with careless curiosity. "That's funny—I thought men like you were probably born and raised on Wall Street. You know—wife of one of my best friends in Detroit came from your city. I was an usher at the wedding."

"So you're from the Midwest," said the man Devlin, sounding casually curious. "That's interesting—I figured guys like you were probably born and raised on Wall Street. You know, the wife of one of my best friends in Detroit is from your city. I was an usher at their wedding."

Dexter waited with no apprehension of what was coming.

Dexter waited without any worry about what was about to happen.

"Judy Simms," said Devlin with no particular interest; "Judy Jones she was once."

"Judy Simms," Devlin said without any real interest; "She used to be Judy Jones."

"Yes, I knew her." A dull impatience spread over him. He had heard, of course, that she was married—perhaps deliberately he had heard no more.

"Yeah, I knew her." A dull impatience washed over him. He had heard, of course, that she was married—maybe he had chosen not to find out more.

"Awfully nice girl," brooded Devlin meaninglessly, "I'm sort of sorry for her."

"Really nice girl," Devlin thought to himself, "I feel a bit sorry for her."

"Why?" Something in Dexter was alert, receptive, at once.

"Why?" Something in Dexter was alert and receptive all at once.

"Oh, Lud Simms has gone to pieces in a way. I don't mean he ill-uses her, but he drinks and runs around——-"

"Oh, Lud Simms has fallen apart in a way. I don't mean he treats her badly, but he drinks and messes around——-"

"Doesn't she run around?"

"Isn't she running around?"

"No. Stays at home with her kids."

"Nope. She stays home with her kids."

"Oh."

"Oh."

"She's a little too old for him," said Devlin.

"She's a bit too old for him," Devlin said.

"Too old!" cried Dexter. "Why, man, she's only twenty-seven."

"Too old!" shouted Dexter. "Come on, she’s only twenty-seven."

He was possessed with a wild notion of rushing out into the streets and taking a train to Detroit. He rose to his feet spasmodically.

He was overcome with a crazy idea to run out into the streets and catch a train to Detroit. He stood up suddenly.

"I guess you're busy," Devlin apologized quickly. "I didn't realize——"

"I guess you're busy," Devlin quickly apologized. "I didn't realize——"

"No, I'm not busy," said Dexter, steadying his voice. "I'm not busy at all. Not busy at all. Did you say she was—twenty-seven? No, I said she was twenty-seven."

"No, I'm not busy," said Dexter, keeping his voice steady. "I'm not busy at all. Not busy at all. Did you say she was—twenty-seven? No, I said she was twenty-seven."

"Yes, you did," agreed Devlin dryly.

"Yeah, you did," Devlin said flatly.

"Go on, then. Go on."

"Go ahead, then. Go on."

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean?"

"About Judy Jones."

"About Judy Jones."

Devlin looked at him helplessly.

Devlin gazed at him helplessly.

"Well, that's—I told you all there is to it. He treats her like the devil. Oh, they're not going to get divorced or anything. When he's particularly outrageous she forgives him. In fact, I'm inclined to think she loves him. She was a pretty girl when she first came to Detroit."

"Well, that’s it—I told you everything there is to know. He treats her horribly. Oh, they’re not going to get divorced or anything. When he acts especially awful, she forgives him. Honestly, I’m starting to think she loves him. She was a beautiful girl when she first came to Detroit."

A pretty girl! The phrase struck Dexter as ludicrous.

A pretty girl! The phrase seemed ridiculous to Dexter.

"Isn't she—a pretty girl, any more?"

"Isn't she a pretty girl anymore?"

"Oh, she's all right."

"Oh, she's good."

"Look here," said Dexter, sitting down suddenly, "I don't understand. You say she was a 'pretty girl' and now you say she's 'all right.' I don't understand what you mean—Judy Jones wasn't a pretty girl, at all. She was a great beauty. Why, I knew her, I knew her. She was——"

"Listen," Dexter said, sitting down abruptly, "I don't get it. You called her a 'pretty girl' and now you say she's 'all right.' I don't understand what you mean—Judy Jones wasn't just a pretty girl; she was a stunning beauty. I knew her, I really did. She was——"

Devlin laughed pleasantly.

Devlin chuckled happily.

"I'm not trying to start a row," he said. "I think Judy's a nice girl and I like her. I can't understand how a man like Lud Simms could fall madly in love with her, but he did." Then he added: "Most of the women like her."

"I'm not trying to start a fight," he said. "I think Judy's a nice girl and I like her. I don't get how a guy like Lud Simms could fall head over heels for her, but he did." Then he added, "Most of the women like her."

Dexter looked closely at Devlin, thinking wildly that there must be a reason for this, some insensitivity in the man or some private malice.

Dexter stared intently at Devlin, wildly wondering if there was a reason for this—maybe some insensitivity in the guy or some hidden malice.

"Lots of women fade just like that" Devlin snapped his fingers. "You must have seen it happen. Perhaps I've forgotten how pretty she was at her wedding. I've seen her so much since then, you see. She has nice eyes."

"Lots of women fade just like that," Devlin snapped his fingers. "You must have seen it happen. Maybe I've forgotten how beautiful she was at her wedding. I've seen her so much since then, you see. She has nice eyes."

A sort of dulness settled down upon Dexter. For the first time in his life he felt like getting very drunk. He knew that he was laughing loudly at something Devlin had said, but he did not know what it was or why it was funny. When, in a few minutes, Devlin went he lay down on his lounge and looked out the window at the New York sky-line into which the sun was sinking in dull lovely shades of pink and gold.

A kind of boredom settled over Dexter. For the first time in his life, he felt like getting really drunk. He knew he was laughing loudly at something Devlin had said, but he had no idea what it was or why it was funny. When Devlin left a few minutes later, he lay down on his couch and looked out the window at the New York skyline, where the sun was setting in soft, beautiful shades of pink and gold.

He had thought that having nothing else to lose he was invulnerable at last—but he knew that he had just lost something more, as surely as if he had married Judy Jones and seen her fade away before his eyes.

He thought that with nothing left to lose, he was finally invulnerable—but he realized he had just lost something even more significant, just like if he had married Judy Jones and watched her fade away right in front of him.

The dream was gone. Something had been taken from him. In a sort of panic he pushed the palms of his hands into his eyes and tried to bring up a picture of the waters lapping on Sherry Island and the moonlit veranda, and gingham on the golf-links and the dry sun and the gold color of her neck's soft down. And her mouth damp to his kisses and her eyes plaintive with melancholy and her freshness like new fine linen in the morning. Why, these things were no longer in the world! They had existed and they existed no longer.

The dream was gone. Something had been taken from him. In a kind of panic, he pressed his hands against his eyes and tried to recall the image of the waves gently hitting Sherry Island and the moonlit porch, and the checkered pattern on the golf course and the dry sun and the golden hue of the soft fuzz on her neck. And her lips warm from his kisses and her eyes filled with sadness and her freshness like new, fine linen in the morning. Why, these things were no longer in the world! They had been real, and now they were gone.

For the first time in years the tears were streaming down his face. But they were for himself now. He did not care about mouth and eyes and moving hands. He wanted to care, and he could not care. For he had gone away and he could never go back any more. The gates were closed, the sun was gone down, and there was no beauty but the gray beauty of steel that withstands all time. Even the grief he could have borne was left behind in the country of illusion, of youth, of the richness of life, where his winter dreams had flourished.

For the first time in years, tears were streaming down his face. But now, they were for himself. He didn’t care about his mouth, his eyes, or his moving hands. He wanted to care, but he just couldn’t. He had moved on, and he could never go back. The gates were closed, the sun had gone down, and there was no beauty left except for the gray beauty of steel that withstands all time. Even the grief he could have handled was left behind in the land of illusion, youth, and the richness of life, where his winter dreams had thrived.

"Long ago," he said, "long ago, there was something in me, but now that thing is gone. Now that thing is gone, that thing is gone. I cannot cry. I cannot care. That thing will come back no more."

"Long ago," he said, "long ago, there was something in me, but now that thing is gone. Now that thing is gone, that thing is gone. I can't cry. I can't care. That thing will never come back."







THE BABY PARTY

When John Andros felt old he found solace in the thought of life continuing through his child. The dark trumpets of oblivion were less loud at the patter of his child's feet or at the sound of his child's voice babbling mad non sequiturs to him over the telephone. The latter incident occurred every afternoon at three when his wife called the office from the country, and he came to look forward to it as one of the vivid minutes of his day.

When John Andros felt old, he found comfort in the idea that life would carry on through his child. The looming darkness of oblivion seemed less overwhelming with the sound of his child's feet pattering around or the joyful babble of his child's voice chatting with him over the phone. This chatter happened every afternoon at three when his wife called the office from their country home, and he grew to look forward to it as one of the bright moments of his day.

He was not physically old, but his life had been a series of struggles up a series of rugged hills, and here at thirty-eight having won his battles against ill-health and poverty he cherished less than the usual number of illusions. Even his feeling about his little girl was qualified. She had interrupted his rather intense love-affair with his wife, and she was the reason for their living in a suburban town, where they paid for country air with endless servant troubles and the weary merry-go-round of the commuting train.

He wasn't physically old, but his life had been a constant fight up tough hills, and now at thirty-eight, after overcoming health and financial struggles, he held onto fewer illusions than most. Even his feelings for his little girl were complicated. She had interrupted his intense romance with his wife, and she was the reason they lived in a suburban town, where they traded country air for endless issues with house staff and the exhausting routine of the commuting train.

It was little Ede as a definite piece of youth that chiefly interested him. He liked to take her on his lap and examine minutely her fragrant, downy scalp and her eyes with their irises of morning blue. Having paid this homage John was content that the nurse should take her away. After ten minutes the very vitality of the child irritated him; he was inclined to lose his temper when things were broken, and one Sunday afternoon when she had disrupted a bridge game by permanently hiding up the ace of spades, he had made a scene that had reduced his wife to tears.

It was little Ede as a clear embodiment of youth that he found most interesting. He enjoyed holding her on his lap and closely inspecting her fragrant, soft hair and her morning blue eyes. Once he had given her this attention, John felt fine letting the nurse take her away. However, after ten minutes, the child's lively energy began to annoy him; he was prone to losing his temper when things got broken, and one Sunday afternoon, when she had ruined a bridge game by permanently hiding the ace of spades, he had caused a scene that left his wife in tears.

This was absurd and John was ashamed of himself. It was inevitable that such things would happen, and it was impossible that little Ede should spend all her indoor hours in the nursery up-stairs when she was becoming, as her mother said, more nearly a "real person" every day.

This was ridiculous, and John felt embarrassed about it. It was expected that things like this would happen, and it was impossible for little Ede to spend all her time indoors in the nursery upstairs when she was becoming, as her mother said, more like a "real person" every day.

She was two and a half, and this afternoon, for instance, she was going to a baby party. Grown-up Edith, her mother, had telephoned the information to the office, and little Ede had confirmed the business by shouting "I yam going to a pantry!" into John's unsuspecting left ear.

She was two and a half, and this afternoon, for example, she was going to a kids' party. Grown-up Edith, her mom, had called the office to share the news, and little Ede had confirmed it by shouting "I’m going to a party!" into John's unsuspecting left ear.

"Drop in at the Markeys' when you get home, won't you, dear?" resumed her mother. "It'll be funny. Ede's going to be all dressed up in her new pink dress——"

"Stop by the Markeys' when you get home, will you, dear?" her mother continued. "It'll be fun. Ede's going to be all dressed up in her new pink dress——"

The conversation terminated abruptly with a squawk which indicated that the telephone had been pulled violently to the floor. John laughed and decided to get an early train out; the prospect of a baby party in some one else's house amused him.

The conversation ended suddenly with a squawk that showed the phone had been yanked roughly to the floor. John laughed and decided to catch an early train; the thought of a baby party at someone else's place entertained him.

"What a peach of a mess!" he thought humorously. "A dozen mothers, and each one looking at nothing but her own child. All the babies breaking things and grabbing at the cake, and each mama going home thinking about the subtle superiority of her own child to every other child there."

"What a ridiculous mess!" he thought with a laugh. "A dozen moms, each focused only on their own kid. All the babies wrecking things and reaching for the cake, while each mom goes home convinced that her child is better than all the others."

He was in a good humor to-day—all the things in his life were going better than they had ever gone before. When he got off the train at his station he shook his head at an importunate taxi man, and began to walk up the long hill toward his house through the crisp December twilight. It was only six o'clock but the moon was out, shining with proud brilliance on the thin sugary snow that lay over the lawns.

He was in a good mood today—all the things in his life were going better than ever before. When he got off the train at his station, he shook his head at a persistent taxi driver and started walking up the long hill toward his house through the chilly December twilight. It was only six o'clock, but the moon was out, shining brightly on the light, sugary snow covering the lawns.

As he walked along drawing his lungs full of cold air his happiness increased, and the idea of a baby party appealed to him more and more. He began to wonder how Ede compared to other children of her own age, and if the pink dress she was to wear was something radical and mature. Increasing his gait he came in sight of his own house, where the lights of a defunct Christmas-tree still blossomed in the window, but he continued on past the walk. The party was at the Markeys' next door.

As he strolled along, taking deep breaths of the cold air, he felt happier, and the idea of a children's party became more and more exciting to him. He started to think about how Ede stacked up against other kids her age and whether the pink dress she was going to wear was something bold and grown-up. Picking up his pace, he spotted his own house, where the lights of a long-gone Christmas tree still twinkled in the window, but he kept walking past the path. The party was next door at the Markeys'.

As he mounted the brick step and rang the bell he became aware of voices inside, and he was glad he was not too late. Then he raised his head and listened—the voices were not children's voices, but they were loud and pitched high with anger; there were at least three of them and one, which rose as he listened to a hysterical sob, he recognized immediately as his wife's.

As he stepped up to the brick step and rang the bell, he noticed voices coming from inside, and he felt relieved that he wasn't too late. Then he lifted his head and listened—the voices weren't those of children, but they were loud and high-pitched with anger; there were at least three of them, and one, which rose above the others as he heard a frantic sob, he immediately recognized as his wife's.

"There's been some trouble," he thought quickly.

"There's been some trouble," he quickly thought.

Trying the door, he found it unlocked and pushed it open.

Trying the door, he found it unlocked and pushed it open.



The baby party began at half past four, but Edith Andros, calculating shrewdly that the new dress would stand out more sensationally against vestments already rumpled, planned the arrival of herself and little Ede for five. When they appeared it was already a flourishing affair. Four baby girls and nine baby boys, each one curled and washed and dressed with all the care of a proud and jealous heart, were dancing to the music of a phonograph. Never more than two or three were dancing at once, but as all were continually in motion running to and from their mothers for encouragement, the general effect was the same.

The baby party started at 4:30, but Edith Andros, cleverly figuring that her new dress would stand out more against already tousled outfits, planned to arrive with little Ede at 5:00. By the time they got there, the party was already lively. Four baby girls and nine baby boys, each one neatly groomed and dressed with all the care of a proud and protective parent, were dancing to the music from a phonograph. While never more than two or three were dancing at the same time, the constant movement of all the kids running back and forth to their mothers for encouragement created a similar effect.

As Edith and her daughter entered, the music was temporarily drowned out by a sustained chorus, consisting largely of the word cute and directed toward little Ede, who stood looking timidly about and fingering the edges of her pink dress. She was not kissed—this is the sanitary age—but she was passed along a row of mamas each one of whom said "cu-u-ute" to her and held her pink little hand before passing her on to the next. After some encouragement and a few mild pushes she was absorbed into the dance, and became an active member of the party.

As Edith and her daughter walked in, the music was briefly drowned out by a loud chorus, mostly made up of the word cute, all aimed at little Ede, who stood there looking shy and fiddling with the edges of her pink dress. She didn’t get kissed—this is the era of hygiene—but she was passed along a line of moms, each of whom said "cu-u-ute" to her and held her tiny pink hand before handing her off to the next. After a bit of encouragement and some gentle nudges, she joined the dance and became an active part of the party.

Edith stood near the door talking to Mrs. Markey, and keeping one eye on the tiny figure in the pink dress. She did not care for Mrs. Markey; she considered her both snippy and common, but John and Joe Markey were congenial and went in together on the commuting train every morning, so the two women kept up an elaborate pretense of warm amity. They were always reproaching each other for "not coming to see me," and they were always planning the kind of parties that began with "You'll have to come to dinner with us soon, and we'll go in to the theatre," but never matured further.

Edith stood by the door chatting with Mrs. Markey, while keeping an eye on the small figure in the pink dress. She wasn't fond of Mrs. Markey; she thought she was both snobby and basic, but John and Joe Markey were friendly and took the train together every morning, so the two women maintained an elaborate act of being close friends. They were always giving each other a hard time for "not coming to see me," and they were constantly planning get-togethers that started with "You have to come to dinner with us soon, and we'll hit the theater," but they never actually went beyond that.

"Little Ede looks perfectly darling," said Mrs. Markey, smiling and moistening her lips in a way that Edith found particularly repulsive. "So grown-up—I can't believe it!"

"Little Ede looks absolutely adorable," said Mrs. Markey, smiling and wetting her lips in a way that Edith found really off-putting. "So grown-up—I can't believe it!"

Edith wondered if "little Ede" referred to the fact that Billy Markey, though several months younger, weighed almost five pounds more. Accepting a cup of tea she took a seat with two other ladies on a divan and launched into the real business of the afternoon, which of course lay in relating the recent accomplishments and insouciances of her child.

Edith wondered if "little Ede" meant that Billy Markey, even though he was a few months younger, weighed almost five pounds more. Accepting a cup of tea, she sat down with two other ladies on a couch and got right into the real purpose of the afternoon, which was, of course, sharing the recent achievements and carefree moments of her child.

An hour passed. Dancing palled and the babies took to sterner sport. They ran into the dining-room, rounded the big table, and essayed the kitchen door, from which they were rescued by an expeditionary force of mothers. Having been rounded up they immediately broke loose, and rushing back to the dining-room tried the familiar swinging door again. The word "overheated" began to be used, and small white brows were dried with small white handkerchiefs. A general attempt to make the babies sit down began, but the babies squirmed off laps with peremptory cries of "Down! Down!" and the rush into the fascinating dining-room began anew.

An hour went by. Dancing got boring, and the kids moved on to something more intense. They dashed into the dining room, circled the big table, and tried to get through the kitchen door, but a group of moms swooped in to rescue them. Once they were rounded up, they quickly broke free and rushed back to the dining room to attempt the swinging door again. The term "overheated" started to pop up, and small white brows were wiped with small white handkerchiefs. A collective effort to get the kids to sit down began, but the little ones squirmed off laps with determined shouts of "Down! Down!" and the mad rush into the enticing dining room started all over again.

This phase of the party came to an end with the arrival of refreshments, a large cake with two candles, and saucers of vanilla ice-cream. Billy Markey, a stout laughing baby with red hair and legs somewhat bowed, blew out the candles, and placed an experimental thumb on the white frosting. The refreshments were distributed, and the children ate, greedily but without confusion—they had behaved remarkably well all afternoon. They were modern babies who ate and slept at regular hours, so their dispositions were good, and their faces healthy and pink—such a peaceful party would not have been possible thirty years ago.

This phase of the party ended with the arrival of snacks, a large cake with two candles, and bowls of vanilla ice cream. Billy Markey, a chubby, cheerful baby with red hair and slightly bowed legs, blew out the candles and poked a tentative thumb into the white frosting. The snacks were handed out, and the kids ate eagerly but without chaos—they had been surprisingly well-behaved all afternoon. They were modern babies who ate and slept on a schedule, which kept their moods happy and their faces healthy and rosy—such a calm party wouldn’t have been possible thirty years ago.

After the refreshments a gradual exodus began. Edith glanced anxiously at her watch—it was almost six, and John had not arrived. She wanted him to see Ede with the other children—to see how dignified and polite and intelligent she was, and how the only ice-cream spot on her dress was some that had dropped from her chin when she was joggled from behind.

After the snacks, a slow departure started. Edith checked her watch nervously—it was nearly six, and John still hadn't shown up. She wanted him to see Ede with the other kids—to notice how dignified, polite, and smart she was, and that the only ice cream stain on her dress was from some that had fallen from her chin when someone bumped into her from behind.

"You're a darling," she whispered to her child, drawing her suddenly against her knee. "Do you know you're a darling? Do you know you're a darling?"

"You're such a sweetheart," she whispered to her child, pulling her suddenly against her knee. "Do you know you're a sweetheart? Do you know you're a sweetheart?"

Ede laughed. "Bow-wow," she said suddenly.

Ede laughed. "Woof," she said out of nowhere.

"Bow-wow?" Edith looked around. "There isn't any bow-wow."

"Woof?" Edith looked around. "There isn't any woof."

"Bow-wow," repeated Ede. "I want a bow-wow."

"Woof-woof," Ede said again. "I want a dog."

Edith followed the small pointing finger.

Edith followed the tiny finger pointing ahead.

"That isn't a bow-wow, dearest, that's a teddy-bear."

"That’s not a dog, sweetheart, that’s a teddy bear."

"Bear?"

"Bear?"

"Yes, that's a teddy-bear, and it belongs to Billy Markey. You don't want Billy Markey's teddy-bear, do you?"

"Yeah, that's a teddy bear, and it belongs to Billy Markey. You don't want Billy Markey's teddy bear, do you?"

Ede did want it.

Ede wanted it.

She broke away from her mother and approached Billy Markey, who held the toy closely in his arms. Ede stood regarding him with inscrutable eyes, and Billy laughed.

She pulled away from her mom and walked up to Billy Markey, who was hugging the toy tightly. Ede stared at him with unreadable eyes, and Billy laughed.

Grown-up Edith looked at her watch again, this time impatiently.

Grown-up Edith checked her watch again, feeling impatient this time.

The party had dwindled until, besides Ede and Billy, there were only two babies remaining—and one of the two remained only by virtue of having hidden himself under the dining-room table. It was selfish of John not to come. It showed so little pride in the child. Other fathers had come, half a dozen of them, to call for their wives, and they had stayed for a while and looked on.

The party had shrunk to just Ede and Billy, with only two babies left—and one of the babies was hiding under the dining-room table. It was selfish of John not to show up. It showed such a lack of pride in their child. Other dads had come, about six of them, to pick up their wives, and they had stuck around for a bit and watched.

There was a sudden wail. Ede had obtained Billy's teddy-bear by pulling it forcibly from his arms, and on Billy's attempt to recover it, she had pushed him casually to the floor.

There was a sudden cry. Ede had snatched Billy's teddy bear by tugging it roughly from his arms, and when Billy tried to get it back, she casually shoved him to the floor.

"Why, Ede!" cried her mother, repressing an inclination to laugh.

"Why, Ede!" her mother exclaimed, holding back a laugh.

Joe Markey, a handsome, broad-shouldered man of thirty-five, picked up his son and set him on his feet. "You're a fine fellow," he said jovially. "Let a girl knock you over! You're a fine fellow."

Joe Markey, a good-looking, broad-shouldered man of thirty-five, picked up his son and set him on his feet. "You're a great kid," he said cheerfully. "Let a girl knock you down! You're a great kid."

"Did he bump his head?" Mrs. Markey returned anxiously from bowing the next to last remaining mother out the door.

"Did he hit his head?" Mrs. Markey asked anxiously as she returned from saying goodbye to the second-to-last mother at the door.

"No-o-o-o," exclaimed Markey. "He bumped something else, didn't you, Billy? He bumped something else."

"No-o-o-o," Markey exclaimed. "He hit something else, didn't you, Billy? He hit something else."

Billy had so far forgotten the bump that he was already making an attempt to recover his property. He seized a leg of the bear which projected from Ede's enveloping arms and tugged at it but without success.

Billy had completely forgotten about the bump and was already trying to get his stuff back. He grabbed a leg of the bear that was sticking out from Ede's tight hold and pulled on it, but he wasn’t able to get it.

"No," said Ede emphatically.

"No," Ede said firmly.

Suddenly, encouraged by the success of her former half-accidental manœuvre, Ede dropped the teddy-bear, placed her hands on Billy's shoulders and pushed him backward off his feet.

Suddenly, feeling inspired by the success of her earlier half-accidental move, Ede dropped the teddy bear, put her hands on Billy's shoulders, and pushed him backward off his feet.

This time he landed less harmlessly; his head hit the bare floor just off the rug with a dull hollow sound, whereupon he drew in his breath and delivered an agonized yell.

This time he landed less gently; his head struck the bare floor just beside the rug with a dull thud, prompting him to gasp and let out a pained scream.

Immediately the room was in confusion. With an exclamation Markey hurried to his son, but his wife was first to reach the injured baby and catch him up into her arms.

Immediately, the room was in chaos. With an exclamation, Markey rushed to his son, but his wife was the first to reach the injured baby and scoop him into her arms.

"Oh, Billy," she cried, "what a terrible bump! She ought to be spanked."

"Oh, Billy," she exclaimed, "what a bad bump! She should get a spanking."

Edith, who had rushed immediately to her daughter, heard this remark, and her lips came sharply together.

Edith, who had quickly gone to her daughter, heard this comment, and her lips pressed tightly together.

"Why, Ede," she whispered perfunctorily, "you bad girl!"

"Why, Ede," she whispered casually, "you naughty girl!"

Ede put back her little head suddenly and laughed. It was a loud laugh, a triumphant laugh with victory in it and challenge and contempt. Unfortunately it was also an infectious laugh. Before her mother realized the delicacy of the situation, she too had laughed, an audible, distinct laugh not unlike the baby's, and partaking of the same overtones.

Ede suddenly threw her head back and laughed. It was a loud laugh, filled with triumph, victory, challenge, and a hint of contempt. Unfortunately, it was also contagious. Before her mother understood the sensitivity of the moment, she found herself laughing too, a clear, distinct laugh similar to the baby's, sharing the same undertones.

Then, as suddenly, she stopped.

Then, just as suddenly, she stopped.

Mrs. Markey's face had grown red with anger, and Markey, who had been feeling the back of the baby's head with one finger, looked at her, frowning.

Mrs. Markey's face had turned red with anger, and Markey, who had been feeling the back of the baby's head with one finger, looked at her, frowning.

"It's swollen already," he said with a note of reproof in his voice. "I'll get some witch-hazel."

"It's already swollen," he said, sounding a bit scolding. "I'll grab some witch hazel."

But Mrs. Markey had lost her temper. "I don't see anything funny about a child being hurt!" she said in a trembling voice.

But Mrs. Markey had lost her temper. "I don't find anything funny about a child getting hurt!" she said in a trembling voice.

Little Ede meanwhile had been looking at her mother curiously. She noted that her own laugh had produced her mother's, and she wondered if the same cause would always produce the same effect. So she chose this moment to throw back her head and laugh again.

Little Ede had been looking at her mother with curiosity. She realized that her own laughter had triggered her mother's laughter, and she wondered if the same cause would always lead to the same effect. So she decided to throw her head back and laugh once more.

To her mother the additional mirth added the final touch of hysteria to the situation. Pressing her handkerchief to her mouth she giggled irrepressibly. It was more than nervousness—she felt that in a peculiar way she was laughing with her child—they were laughing together.

To her mother, the extra laughter brought the final touch of hysteria to the situation. Covering her mouth with her handkerchief, she giggled uncontrollably. It was more than just nerves—she felt that in a unique way, she was laughing with her child—they were laughing together.

It was in a way a defiance—those two against the world.

It was a kind of defiance—those two against the world.

While Markey rushed up-stairs to the bathroom for ointment, his wife was walking up and down rocking the yelling boy in her arms.

While Markey hurried upstairs to grab some ointment, his wife was pacing back and forth, cradling the screaming boy in her arms.

"Please go home!" she broke out suddenly. "The child's badly hurt, and if you haven't the decency to be quiet, you'd better go home."

"Please go home!" she burst out suddenly. "The kid's really hurt, and if you can't keep it down, you should just leave."

"Very well," said Edith, her own temper rising. "I've never seen any one make such a mountain out of——"

"Alright," Edith said, feeling her own temper flare. "I've never seen anyone blow things out of proportion like—"

"Get out!" cried Mrs. Markey frantically. "There's the door, get out—I never want to see you in our house again. You or your brat either!"

"Get out!" Mrs. Markey yelled frantically. "There’s the door, get out—I never want to see you in our house again. You or your kid either!"

Edith had taken her daughter's hand and was moving quickly toward the door, but at this remark she stopped and turned around, her face contracting with indignation.

Edith had taken her daughter's hand and was hurrying toward the door, but at this comment, she stopped and turned around, her face twisting with anger.

"Don't you dare call her that!"

"Don’t you even think about calling her that!"

Mrs. Markey did not answer but continued walking up and down, muttering to herself and to Billy in an inaudible voice.

Mrs. Markey didn’t respond but kept pacing back and forth, mumbling to herself and to Billy in a soft voice.

Edith began to cry.

Edith started to cry.

"I will get out!" she sobbed, "I've never heard anybody so rude and c-common in my life. I'm glad your baby did get pushed down—he's nothing but a f-fat little fool anyhow."

"I'll get out!" she cried, "I've never heard anyone so rude and common in my life. I'm glad your baby got pushed down—he's just a fat little fool anyway."

Joe Markey reached the foot of the stairs just in time to hear this remark.

Joe Markey got to the bottom of the stairs just in time to hear this comment.

"Why, Mrs. Andros," he said sharply, "can't you see the child's hurt? You really ought to control yourself."

"Why, Mrs. Andros," he said sharply, "can’t you see the child is hurt? You really need to control yourself."

"Control m-myself!" exclaimed Edith brokenly. "You better ask her to c-control herself. I've never heard anybody so c-common in my life."

"Control myself!" Edith exclaimed, her voice shaking. "You should ask her to control herself. I've never met anyone so common in my life."

"She's insulting me!" Mrs. Markey was now livid with rage. "Did you hear what she said, Joe? I wish you'd put her out. If she won't go, just take her by the shoulders and put her out!"

"She's insulting me!" Mrs. Markey was now furious with anger. "Did you hear what she said, Joe? I wish you'd get her out of here. If she won't leave, just grab her by the shoulders and throw her out!"

"Don't you dare touch me!" cried Edith. "I'm going just as quick as I can find my c-coat!"

"Don't you dare touch me!" shouted Edith. "I'm leaving as fast as I can find my c-coat!"

Blind with tears she took a step toward the hall. It was just at this moment that the door opened and John Andros walked anxiously in.

Blind with tears, she stepped into the hall. Just then, the door opened, and John Andros walked in, looking anxious.

"John!" cried Edith, and fled to him wildly.

"John!" cried Edith, rushing towards him in a panic.

"What's the matter? Why, what's the matter?"

"What's wrong? Come on, what's wrong?"

"They're—they're putting me out!" she wailed, collapsing against him. "He'd just started to take me by the shoulders and put me out. I want my coat!"

"They're—they're kicking me out!" she cried, leaning against him. "He had just started to grab my shoulders and throw me out. I want my coat!"

"That's not true," objected Markey hurriedly. "Nobody's going to put you out." He turned to John. "Nobody's going to put her out," he repeated. "She's——"

"That's not true," Markey quickly protested. "No one’s going to kick you out." He looked at John. "No one’s going to kick her out," he said again. "She’s——"

"What do you mean 'put her out'?" demanded John abruptly. "What's all this talk, anyhow?"

"What do you mean 'put her out'?" John asked suddenly. "What's all this chatter about, anyway?"

"Oh, let's go!" cried Edith. "I want to go. They're so common, John!"

"Oh, let's go!" cried Edith. "I want to go. They're so common, John!"

"Look here!" Markey's face darkened. "You've said that about enough. You're acting sort of crazy."

"Look here!" Markey's face became serious. "You've said that enough. You're acting a bit out of control."

"They called Ede a brat!"

"They called Ede a spoiled kid!"

For the second time that afternoon little Ede expressed emotion at an inopportune moment. Confused and frightened at the shouting voices, she began to cry, and her tears had the effect of conveying that she felt the insult in her heart.

For the second time that afternoon, little Ede showed her feelings at a bad moment. Confused and scared by the shouting voices, she started to cry, and her tears made it clear that she felt the insult deep inside her.

"What's the idea of this?" broke out John. "Do you insult your guests in your own house?"

"What's the point of this?" John said, getting upset. "Do you really insult your guests in your own home?"

"It seems to me it's your wife that's done the insulting!" answered Markey crisply. "In fact, your baby there started all the trouble."

"It looks to me like it was your wife who did the insulting!" Markey replied sharply. "Actually, your baby over there started all the trouble."

John gave a contemptuous snort. "Are you calling names at a little baby?" he inquired. "That's a fine manly business!"

John let out a disdainful snort. "Are you throwing insults at a little baby?" he asked. "That’s a real manly thing to do!"

"Don't talk to him, John," insisted Edith. "Find my coat!"

"Don't talk to him, John," urged Edith. "Get my coat!"

"You must be in a bad way," went on John angrily, "if you have to take out your temper on a helpless little baby."

"You must be in a really bad place," John said angrily, "if you have to take your frustrations out on a helpless little baby."

"I never heard anything so damn twisted in my life," shouted Markey. "If that wife of yours would shut her mouth for a minute——"

"I've never heard anything so messed up in my life," shouted Markey. "If your wife could just keep quiet for a minute——"

"Wait a minute! You're not talking to a woman and child now——"

"Hold on! You're not talking to a woman and child right now——"

There was an incidental interruption. Edith had been fumbling on a chair for her coat, and Mrs. Markey had been watching her with hot, angry eyes. Suddenly she laid Billy down on the sofa, where he immediately stopped crying and pulled himself upright, and coming into the hall she quickly found Edith's coat and handed it to her without a word. Then she went back to the sofa, picked up Billy, and rocking him in her arms looked again at Edith with hot, angry eyes. The interruption had taken less than half a minute.

There was a brief interruption. Edith had been struggling on a chair to find her coat, while Mrs. Markey watched her with fierce, angry eyes. Suddenly, she set Billy down on the sofa, where he instantly stopped crying and propped himself up. Then, she quickly went into the hall, found Edith's coat, and handed it to her without saying a word. After that, she returned to the sofa, picked up Billy, and as she rocked him in her arms, she shot another fiery, angry look at Edith. The whole interruption lasted less than thirty seconds.

"Your wife comes in here and begins shouting around about how common we are!" burst out Markey violently. "Well, if we're so damn common, you'd better stay away! And, what's more, you'd better get out now!"

"Your wife comes in here and starts yelling about how ordinary we are!" Markey snapped angrily. "If we're so damn ordinary, you should keep your distance! And, what’s more, you better leave now!"

Again John gave a short, contemptuous laugh.

Again, John let out a brief, dismissive laugh.

"You're not only common," he returned, "you're evidently an awful bully—when there's any helpless women and children around." He felt for the knob and swung the door open. "Come on, Edith."

"You're not just ordinary," he replied, "you're clearly a terrible bully—especially when there are defenseless women and children around." He reached for the doorknob and swung the door open. "Let's go, Edith."

Taking up her daughter in her arms, his wife stepped outside and John, still looking contemptuously at Markey, started to follow.

Taking her daughter in her arms, his wife stepped outside, and John, still looking at Markey with disdain, began to follow her.

"Wait a minute!" Markey took a step forward; he was trembling slightly, and two large veins on his temple were suddenly full of blood. "You don't think you can get away with that, do you? With me?"

"Hold on!" Markey stepped forward, slightly shaking, and two prominent veins on his temple pulsed with blood. "You don’t think you can just walk away from that, do you? Not with me?"

Without a word John walked out the door, leaving it open.

Without saying a word, John walked out the door, leaving it open.

Edith, still weeping, had started for home. After following her with his eyes until she reached her own walk, John turned back toward the lighted doorway where Markey was slowly coming down the slippery steps. He took off his overcoat and hat, tossed them off the path onto the snow. Then, sliding a little on the iced walk, he took a step forward.

Edith, still crying, had started to head home. After watching her until she reached her own path, John turned back to the lit doorway where Markey was slowly making his way down the slick steps. He took off his overcoat and hat, throwing them off the path and onto the snow. Then, slipping a bit on the icy walk, he stepped forward.

At the first blow, they both slipped and fell heavily to the sidewalk, half rising then, and again pulling each other to the ground. They found a better foothold in the thin snow to the side of the walk and rushed at each other, both swinging wildly and pressing out the snow into a pasty mud underfoot.

At the first hit, they both slipped and fell hard onto the sidewalk, getting up a bit and then dragging each other back down. They got better footing in the thin snow beside the sidewalk and charged at each other, both swinging wildly and turning the snow into a mushy mess beneath them.

The street was deserted, and except for their short tired gasps and the padded sound as one or the other slipped down into the slushy mud, they fought in silence, clearly defined to each other by the full moonlight as well as by the amber glow that shone out of the open door. Several times they both slipped down together, and then for a while the conflict threshed about wildly on the lawn.

The street was empty, and aside from their short, tired breaths and the muted sound of one of them sinking into the slushy mud, they battled in silence, clearly visible to each other in the bright moonlight as well as by the warm glow from the open door. A few times, they both lost their footing and fell together, and then for a while, the struggle raged wildly on the lawn.

For ten, fifteen, twenty minutes they fought there senselessly in the moonlight. They had both taken off coats and vests at some silently agreed upon interval and now their shirts dripped from their backs in wet pulpy shreds. Both were torn and bleeding and so exhausted that they could stand only when by their position they mutually supported each other—the impact, the mere effort of a blow, would send them both to their hands and knees.

For ten, fifteen, twenty minutes, they fought aimlessly in the moonlight. They had both removed their coats and vests at some unspoken moment, and now their shirts were soaked and hanging in ragged pieces. Both were cut and bleeding, so worn out that they could only stand by leaning on each other—just the force of a blow would drop them both to their hands and knees.

But it was not weariness that ended the business, and the very meaninglessness of the fight was a reason for not stopping. They stopped because once when they were straining at each other on the ground, they heard a man's footsteps coming along the sidewalk. They had rolled somehow into the shadow, and when they heard these footsteps they stopped fighting, stopped moving, stopped breathing, lay huddled together like two boys playing Indian until the footsteps had passed. Then, staggering to their feet, they looked at each other like two drunken men.

But it wasn't exhaustion that led to the end of the fight; in fact, the sheer pointlessness of it was a reason to keep going. They finally stopped because, while they were grappling on the ground, they heard a man's footsteps coming down the sidewalk. They had somehow rolled into the shadows, and when they heard the footsteps, they froze—stopped fighting, stopped moving, stopped breathing—huddled together like two boys playing soldiers until the footsteps passed by. Then, as they stumbled to their feet, they looked at each other like two drunk guys.

"I'll be damned if I'm going on with this thing any more," cried Markey thickly.

"I won't be doing this any longer," Markey said with frustration.

"I'm not going on any more either," said John Andros. "I've had enough of this thing."

"I'm not going on any more either," John Andros said. "I've had enough of this."

Again they looked at each other, sulkily this time, as if each suspected the other of urging him to a renewal of the fight. Markey spat out a mouthful of blood from a cut lip; then he cursed softly, and picking up his coat and vest, shook off the snow from them in a surprised way, as if their comparative dampness was his only worry in the world.

Again they looked at each other, sulkily this time, as if each suspected the other of trying to provoke another fight. Markey spat out a mouthful of blood from a cut lip; then he cursed quietly and, picking up his coat and vest, shook off the snow from them in a surprised way, as if their dampness was his only concern in the world.

"Want to come in and wash up?" he asked suddenly.

"Do you want to come in and clean up?" he asked abruptly.

"No, thanks," said John. "I ought to be going home—my wife'll be worried."

"No, thanks," John said. "I should head home—my wife will be worried."

He too picked up his coat and vest and then his overcoat and hat. Soaking wet and dripping with perspiration, it seemed absurd that less than half an hour ago he had been wearing all these clothes.

He also grabbed his coat and vest, then his overcoat and hat. Soaked and dripping with sweat, it felt ridiculous that less than thirty minutes ago he had been wearing all these clothes.

"Well—good night," he said hesitantly.

"Well—goodnight," he said hesitantly.

Suddenly they both walked toward each other and shook hands. It was no perfunctory hand-shake: John Andros's arm went around Markey's shoulder, and he patted him softly on the back for a little while.

Suddenly, they both walked toward each other and shook hands. It wasn't just a casual handshake: John Andros put his arm around Markey's shoulder and softly patted him on the back for a little while.

"No harm done," he said brokenly.

"No harm done," he said, his voice cracking.

"No—you?"

"No, you?"

"No, no harm done."

"No worries."

"Well," said John Andros after a minute, "I guess I'll say good night."

"Well," John Andros said after a minute, "I guess I'll say goodnight."

"Good night."

"Good night."

Limping slightly and with his clothes over his arm, John Andros turned away. The moonlight was still bright as he left the dark patch of trampled ground and walked over the intervening lawn. Down at the station, half a mile away, he could hear the rumble of the seven o'clock train.

Limping slightly and with his clothes draped over his arm, John Andros turned away. The moonlight was still bright as he stepped out of the dark patch of trampled grass and walked across the lawn. Down at the station, half a mile away, he could hear the rumble of the seven o'clock train.



"But you must have been crazy," cried Edith brokenly. "I thought you were going to fix it all up there and shake hands. That's why I went away."

"But you must have lost your mind," cried Edith, her voice trembling. "I thought you were going to sort everything out and make amends. That’s why I left."

"Did you want us to fix it up?" "Of course not, I never want to see them again. But I thought of course that was what you were going to do." She was touching the bruises on his neck and back with iodine as he sat placidly in a hot bath. "I'm going to get the doctor," she said insistently. "You may be hurt internally."

"Did you want us to fix it up?" "Of course not, I never want to see them again. But I thought that’s what you were going to do." She was applying iodine to the bruises on his neck and back while he sat calmly in a hot bath. "I'm going to get the doctor," she said firmly. "You might be hurt internally."

He shook his head. "Not a chance," he answered. "I don't want this to get all over town."

He shook his head. "Not a chance," he said. "I don't want this to spread all over town."

"I don't understand yet how it all happened."

"I still don't get how it all happened."

"Neither do I." He smiled grimly. "I guess these baby parties are pretty rough affairs."

"Me neither." He smiled wryly. "I guess these baby parties can be pretty intense."

"Well, one thing—" suggested Edith hopefully, "I'm certainly glad we have beefsteak in the house for to-morrow's dinner."

"Well, one thing—" suggested Edith with optimism, "I'm really glad we have beefsteak in the house for tomorrow's dinner."

"Why?"

"Why?"

"For your eye, of course. Do you know I came within an ace of ordering veal? Wasn't that the luckiest thing?"

"For you, obviously. Do you realize I was just about to order veal? Wasn't that lucky?"

Half an hour later, dressed except that his neck would accommodate no collar, John moved his limbs experimentally before the glass. "I believe I'll get myself in better shape," he said thoughtfully. "I must be getting old."

Half an hour later, dressed except for the fact that his neck wouldn't fit any collar, John moved his limbs around a bit in front of the mirror. "I think I should work on getting in better shape," he said to himself. "I must be getting old."

"You mean so that next time you can beat him?"

"You mean so that next time you can win against him?"

"I did beat him," he announced. "At least, I beat him as much as he beat me. And there isn't going to be any next time. Don't you go calling people common any more. If you get in any trouble, you just take your coat and go home. Understand?"

"I did beat him," he said. "At least, I beat him as much as he beat me. And there won't be a next time. Don't go calling people common anymore. If you get into any trouble, just grab your coat and go home. Got it?"

"Yes, dear," she said meekly. "I was very foolish and now I understand."

"Yes, dear," she said softly. "I was really foolish, and now I get it."

Out in the hall, he paused abruptly by the baby's door.

Out in the hallway, he suddenly stopped by the baby's door.

"Is she asleep?"

"Is she sleeping?"

"Sound asleep. But you can go in and peek at her—just to say good night."

"She's sound asleep. But you can go in and take a look at her—just to say goodnight."

They tiptoed in and bent together over the bed. Little Ede, her cheeks flushed with health, her pink hands clasped tight together, was sleeping soundly in the cool, dark room. John reached over the railing of the bed and passed his hand lightly over the silken hair.

They quietly entered and leaned over the bed. Little Ede, her cheeks rosy with health, her pink hands tightly clasped together, was sleeping peacefully in the cool, dark room. John reached over the side of the bed and lightly brushed his hand over her silky hair.

"She's asleep," he murmured in a puzzled way.

"She's asleep," he said, sounding confused.

"Naturally, after such an afternoon."

"Of course, after such an afternoon."

"Miz Andros," the colored maid's stage whisper floated in from the hall, "Mr. and Miz Markey down-stairs an' want to see you. Mr. Markey he's all cut up in pieces, mam'n. His face look like a roast beef. An' Miz Markey she 'pear mighty mad."

"Miz Andros," the colored maid's quiet whisper came in from the hall, "Mr. and Miz Markey are downstairs and want to see you. Mr. Markey is all cut up, ma'am. His face looks like a roast beef. And Miz Markey seems really angry."

"Why, what incomparable nerve!" exclaimed Edith. "Just tell them we're not home. I wouldn't go down for anything in the world."

"Wow, what incredible nerve!" Edith exclaimed. "Just tell them we’re not home. I wouldn't go down for anything!"

"You most certainly will." John's voice was hard and set.

"You definitely will." John's voice was firm and determined.

"What?"

"What’s up?"

"You'll go down right now, and, what's more, whatever that other woman does, you'll apologize for what you said this afternoon. After that you don't ever have to see her again."

"You’re going to go down there right now, and on top of that, no matter what that other woman does, you’re going to apologize for what you said this afternoon. After that, you never have to see her again."

"Why—John, I can't."

"Why—John, I can't do that."

"You've got to. And just remember that she probably hated to come over here just twice as much as you hate to go down-stairs."

"You have to. And just remember that she probably disliked coming over here twice as much as you dislike going downstairs."

"Aren't you coming? Do I have to go alone?" "I'll be down—in just a minute."

"Aren't you coming? Do I have to go by myself?" "I'll be down—in just a minute."

John Andros waited until she had closed the door behind her; then he reached over into the bed, and picking up his daughter, blankets and all, sat down in the rocking-chair holding her tightly in his arms. She moved a little, and he held his breath, but she was sleeping soundly, and in a moment she was resting quietly in the hollow of his elbow. Slowly he bent his head until his cheek was against her bright hair. "Dear little girl," he whispered. "Dear little girl, dear little girl."

John Andros waited until she closed the door behind her; then he reached over to the bed, picked up his daughter, blankets and all, and sat down in the rocking chair, holding her tightly in his arms. She stirred a bit, and he held his breath, but she was sleeping soundly, and soon she was resting peacefully in the curve of his elbow. Slowly, he bent his head until his cheek was against her soft hair. "Sweet little girl," he whispered. "Sweet little girl, sweet little girl."

John Andros knew at length what it was he had fought for so savagely that evening. He had it now, he possessed it forever, and for some time he sat there rocking very slowly to and fro in the darkness.

John Andros finally understood what he had fought so fiercely for that evening. He had it now, he owned it forever, and for a while, he sat there gently rocking back and forth in the darkness.







ABSOLUTION

There was once a priest with cold, watery eyes, who, in the still of the night, wept cold tears. He wept because the afternoons were warm and long, and he was unable to attain a complete mystical union with our Lord. Sometimes, near four o'clock, there was a rustle of Swede girls along the path by his window, and in their shrill laughter he found a terrible dissonance that made him pray aloud for the twilight to come. At twilight the laughter and the voices were quieter, but several times he had walked past Romberg's Drug Store when it was dusk and the yellow lights shone inside and the nickel taps of the soda-fountain were gleaming, and he had found the scent of cheap toilet soap desperately sweet upon the air. He passed that way when he returned from hearing confessions on Saturday nights, and he grew careful to walk on the other side of the street so that the smell of the soap would float upward before it reached his nostrils as it drifted, rather like incense, toward the summer moon.

There was once a priest with cold, watery eyes who, in the still of the night, cried cold tears. He cried because the afternoons were warm and long, and he couldn't achieve a complete mystical union with our Lord. Sometimes, around four o'clock, he would hear the rustling of Swede girls along the path by his window, and their shrill laughter created a terrible dissonance that made him pray out loud for twilight to arrive. At twilight, the laughter and voices were quieter, but several times he had walked past Romberg's Drug Store at dusk when the yellow lights glowed inside and the nickel taps of the soda fountain gleamed, and he found the scent of cheap toilet soap desperately sweet in the air. He passed that way when he returned from hearing confessions on Saturday nights, and he became careful to walk on the other side of the street so that the smell of the soap would float up before it reached his nostrils as it drifted, somewhat like incense, toward the summer moon.

But there was no escape from the hot madness of four o'clock. From his window, as far as he could see, the Dakota wheat thronged the valley of the Red River. The wheat was terrible to look upon and the carpet pattern to which in agony he bent his eyes sent his thought brooding through grotesque labyrinths, open always to the unavoidable sun.

But there was no way to escape the sweltering madness of four o'clock. From his window, as far as he could see, the Dakota wheat filled the valley of the Red River. The wheat was horrible to look at, and the carpet-like pattern he stared at in agony sent his thoughts wandering through twisted maze-like paths, always exposed to the relentless sun.

One afternoon when he had reached the point where the mind runs down like an old clock, his housekeeper brought into his study a beautiful, intense little boy of eleven named Rudolph Miller. The little boy sat down in a patch of sunshine, and the priest, at his walnut desk, pretended to be very busy. This was to conceal his relief that some one had come into his haunted room.

One afternoon, when he had reached the point where his mind felt as drained as an old clock, his housekeeper brought into his study a striking, lively eleven-year-old boy named Rudolph Miller. The boy sat down in a sunny spot, while the priest, at his walnut desk, pretended to be very busy. This was to hide his relief that someone had entered his haunted room.

Presently he turned around and found himself staring into two enormous, staccato eyes, lit with gleaming points of cobalt light. For a moment their expression startled him—then he saw that his visitor was in a state of abject fear.

Presently, he turned around and found himself staring into two huge, staccato eyes, lit with bright points of cobalt light. For a moment, their expression startled him—then he realized that his visitor was in a state of utter fear.

"Your mouth is trembling," said Father Schwartz, in a haggard voice.

"Your mouth is shaking," said Father Schwartz, in a weary voice.

The little boy covered his quivering mouth with his hand.

The little boy covered his trembling mouth with his hand.

"Are you in trouble?" asked Father Schwartz, sharply. "Take your hand away from your mouth and tell me what's the matter."

"Are you in trouble?" Father Schwartz asked sharply. "Take your hand away from your mouth and tell me what's wrong."

The boy—Father Schwartz recognized him now as the son of a parishioner, Mr. Miller, the freight-agent—moved his hand reluctantly off his mouth and became articulate in a despairing whisper.

The boy—Father Schwartz now recognized him as the son of a parishioner, Mr. Miller, the freight agent—moved his hand hesitantly away from his mouth and spoke in a desperate whisper.

"Father Schwartz—I've committed a terrible sin."

"Father Schwartz—I’ve done something really wrong."

"A sin against purity?"

"A sin against innocence?"

"No, Father ... worse."

"No, Dad ... worse."

Father Schwartz's body jerked sharply.

Father Schwartz's body twitched sharply.

"Have you killed somebody?"

"Have you killed someone?"

"No—but I'm afraid—" the voice rose to a shrill whimper.

"No—but I'm scared—" the voice turned into a high-pitched whimper.

"Do you want to go to confession?"

"Do you want to go to confession?"

The little boy shook his head miserably. Father Schwartz cleared his throat so that he could make his voice soft and say some quiet, kind thing. In this moment he should forget his own agony, and try to act like God. He repeated to himself a devotional phrase, hoping that in return God would help him to act correctly.

The little boy shook his head sadly. Father Schwartz cleared his throat to soften his voice and say something quiet and kind. In this moment, he should put aside his own pain and try to act like God. He repeated a prayer to himself, hoping that in return, God would help him behave the right way.

"Tell me what you've done," said his new soft voice.

"Tell me what you've done," said his new gentle voice.

The little boy looked at him through his tears, and was reassured by the impression of moral resiliency which the distraught priest had created. Abandoning as much of himself as he was able to this man, Rudolph Miller began to tell his story.

The little boy looked at him through his tears and felt reassured by the strength of character the troubled priest showed. Letting go of as much of himself as he could, Rudolph Miller started to share his story.

"On Saturday, three days ago, my father he said I had to go to confession, because I hadn't been for a month, and the family they go every week, and I hadn't been. So I just as leave go, I didn't care. So I put it off till after supper because I was playing with a bunch of kids and father asked me if I went, and I said 'no,' and he took me by the neck and he said 'You go now,' so I said 'All right,' so I went over to church. And he yelled after me: 'Don't come back till you go.'..."

"Three days ago on Saturday, my dad told me I needed to go to confession because I hadn’t been in a month, and the family goes every week. I hadn't gone, so I figured I might as well go; I didn't really care. I put it off until after dinner because I was playing with a group of kids. When my dad asked if I had gone, I said 'no,' and he grabbed me by the neck and said, 'You go now,' so I replied, 'Okay,' and headed over to church. He shouted after me, 'Don't come back until you go.'"







II

"On Saturday, Three Days Ago."

The plush curtain of the confessional rearranged its dismal creases, leaving exposed only the bottom of an old man's old shoe. Behind the curtain an immortal soul was alone with God and the Reverend Adolphus Schwartz, priest of the parish. Sound began, a labored whispering, sibilant and discreet, broken at intervals by the voice of the priest in audible question.

The soft curtain of the confessional shifted its sad folds, revealing just the tip of an old man's worn shoe. Behind the curtain, an eternal soul was alone with God and Reverend Adolphus Schwartz, the parish priest. Sounds began, a strained whispering, soft and discreet, occasionally interrupted by the priest's audible questions.

Rudolph Miller knelt in the pew beside the confessional and waited, straining nervously to hear, and yet not to hear what was being said within. The fact that the priest was audible alarmed him. His own turn came next, and the three or four others who waited might listen unscrupulously while he admitted his violations of the Sixth and Ninth Commandments.

Rudolph Miller knelt in the pew next to the confessional and waited, trying anxiously to hear, but also hoping not to hear what was being said inside. The fact that the priest was clearly audible made him uneasy. His turn was coming up, and the few others waiting could listen without worry while he confessed to breaking the Sixth and Ninth Commandments.

Rudolph had never committed adultery, nor even coveted his neighbor's wife—but it was the confession of the associate sins that was particularly hard to contemplate. In comparison he relished the less shameful fallings away—they formed a grayish background which relieved the ebony mark of sexual offenses upon his soul.

Rudolph had never cheated on his partner, nor had he ever desired his neighbor's wife—but it was the acknowledgment of his other sins that was especially difficult to consider. In comparison, he welcomed the less shameful mistakes—they created a dull background that eased the deep stain of sexual wrongdoings on his conscience.

He had been covering his ears with his hands, hoping that his refusal to hear would be noticed, and a like courtesy rendered to him in turn, when a sharp movement of the penitent in the confessional made him sink his face precipitately into the crook of his elbow. Fear assumed solid form, and pressed out a lodging between his heart and his lungs. He must try now with all his might to be sorry for his sins—not because he was afraid, but because he had offended God. He must convince God that he was sorry and to do so he must first convince himself. After a tense emotional struggle he achieved a tremulous self-pity, and decided that he was now ready. If, by allowing no other thought to enter his head, he could preserve this state of emotion unimpaired until he went into that large coffin set on end, he would have survived another crisis in his religious life.

He had been covering his ears with his hands, hoping that by refusing to listen, others would notice and reciprocate the courtesy. When the penitent in the confessional made a sudden movement, he quickly buried his face in the crook of his elbow. Fear took on a tangible form, wedging itself between his heart and lungs. He had to try with all his strength to feel remorse for his sins—not out of fear, but because he had wronged God. He needed to convince God he was truly sorry, and to do that, he first had to convince himself. After a tense emotional struggle, he managed to reach a shaky sense of self-pity and decided he was ready. If he could keep this emotional state intact by allowing no other thoughts to intrude until he entered that large coffin standing upright, he would have navigated another crisis in his spiritual life.

For some time, however, a demoniac notion had partially possessed him. He could go home now, before his turn came, and tell his mother that he had arrived too late, and found the priest gone. This, unfortunately, involved the risk of being caught in a lie. As an alternative he could say that he had gone to confession, but this meant that he must avoid communion next day, for communion taken upon an uncleansed soul would turn to poison in his mouth, and he would crumple limp and damned from the altar-rail.

For a while, though, a dark thought had partly taken over his mind. He could go home now, before his turn came, and tell his mom that he arrived too late and found the priest gone. The problem was, this carried the risk of getting caught in a lie. Alternatively, he could say that he *had* gone to confession, but that meant he’d have to skip communion the next day, because taking communion with an unclean soul would be like poison in his mouth, and he would collapse, weak and damned, from the altar rail.

Again Father Schwartz's voice became audible.

Again, Father Schwartz's voice could be heard.

"And for your——"

"And for your—"

The words blurred to a husky mumble, and Rudolph got excitedly to his feet. He felt that it was impossible for him to go to confession this afternoon. He hesitated tensely. Then from the confessional came a tap, a creak, and a sustained rustle. The slide had fallen and the plush curtain trembled. Temptation had come to him too late....

The words turned into a low mumble, and Rudolph jumped up with excitement. He felt it was impossible for him to go to confession that afternoon. He hesitated, feeling tense. Then from the confessional came a tap, a creak, and a long rustling sound. The slide had fallen, and the plush curtain shook. Temptation had arrived for him too late....

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.... I confess to Almighty God and to you, Father, that I have sinned.... Since my last confession it has been one month and three days.... I accuse myself of—taking the Name of the Lord in vain...."

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.... I confess to Almighty God and to you, Father, that I have sinned.... Since my last confession, it has been one month and three days.... I admit to—using the Lord's name in vain...."

This was an easy sin. His curses had been but bravado—telling of them was little less than a brag.

This was a simple sin. His curses were just showing off—talking about them was hardly anything more than boasting.

"... of being mean to an old lady."

"... of being rude to an old lady."

The wan shadow moved a little on the latticed slat.

The pale shadow shifted slightly on the slatted frame.

"How, my child?"

"How, kid?"

"Old lady Swenson," Rudolph's murmur soared jubilantly. "She got our baseball that we knocked in her window, and she wouldn't give it back, so we yelled 'Twenty-three, Skidoo,' at her all afternoon. Then about five o'clock she had a fit, and they had to have the doctor."

"Old lady Swenson," Rudolph whispered excitedly. "She took our baseball that we threw through her window, and she wouldn't give it back, so we shouted 'Twenty-three, Skidoo,' at her all afternoon. Then around five o'clock, she had a fit, and they had to call the doctor."

"Go on, my child."

"Go ahead, my child."

"Of—of not believing I was the son of my parents."

"Of not believing I was my parents' son."

"What?" The interrogation was distinctly startled.

"What?" The inquiry was clearly surprised.

"Of not believing that I was the son of my parents."

"Not believing that I was my parents' son."

"Why not?"

"Why not?"

"Oh, just pride," answered the penitent airily.

"Oh, just pride," the repentant replied casually.

"You mean you thought you were too good to be the son of your parents?"

"You really thought you were too good to be your parents' son?"

"Yes, Father." On a less jubilant note.

"Yeah, Dad." In a less cheerful tone.

"Go on."

"Go ahead."

"Of being disobedient and calling my mother names. Of slandering people behind my back. Of smoking——"

"Of being disrespectful and insulting my mother. Of gossiping about people behind their backs. Of smoking——"

Rudolph had now exhausted the minor offenses, and was approaching the sins it was agony to tell. He held his fingers against his face like bars as if to press out between them the shame in his heart.

Rudolph had now run out of the minor offenses, and was getting closer to the sins that were painful to confess. He pressed his fingers against his face like bars, as if trying to push out the shame in his heart.

"Of dirty words and immodest thoughts and desires," he whispered very low.

"Of dirty words and inappropriate thoughts and desires," he whispered very quietly.

"How often?"

"How frequently?"

"I don't know."

"I have no idea."

"Once a week? Twice a week?"

"Once a week? Twice a week?"

"Twice a week."

"Two times a week."

"Did you yield to these desires?"

"Did you give in to these desires?"

"No, Father."

"No, Dad."

"Were you alone when you had them?"

"Were you by yourself when you had them?"

"No, Father. I was with two boys and a girl."

"No, Dad. I was with two guys and a girl."

"Don't you know, my child, that you should avoid the occasions of sin as well as the sin itself? Evil companionship leads to evil desires and evil desires to evil actions. Where were you when this happened?"

"Don't you know, my child, that you should stay away from situations that can lead to sin, just like you should avoid sin itself? Bad company leads to bad desires, and bad desires lead to bad actions. Where were you when this happened?"

"In a barn in back of——"

"In a barn behind—"

"I don't want to hear any names," interrupted the priest sharply.

"I don't want to hear any names," the priest interrupted sharply.

"Well, it was up in the loft of this barn and this girl and—a fella, they were saying things—saying immodest things, and I stayed."

"Well, it was up in the loft of this barn and this girl and a guy, they were saying things—saying inappropriate things, and I stuck around."

"You should have gone—you should have told the girl to go."

"You should have gone—you should have told her to go."

He should have gone! He could not tell Father Schwartz how his pulse had bumped in his wrist, how a strange, romantic excitement had possessed him when those curious things had been said. Perhaps in the houses of delinquency among the dull and hard-eyed incorrigible girls can be found those for whom has burned the whitest fire.

He should have left! He couldn’t explain to Father Schwartz how his heart raced in his wrist, how a weird, romantic thrill took over him when those unusual things were mentioned. Maybe in the homes of troubled girls with dull, hard eyes, there are those who have felt the purest passion.

"Have you anything else to tell me?"

"Do you have anything else to tell me?"

"I don't think so, Father."

"I don't think so, Dad."

Rudolph felt a great relief. Perspiration had broken out under his tight-pressed fingers.

Rudolph felt a huge sense of relief. Sweat had formed under his tightly clenched fingers.

"Have you told any lies?"

"Have you told any lies?"

The question startled him. Like all those who habitually and instinctively lie, he had an enormous respect and awe for the truth. Something almost exterior to himself dictated a quick, hurt answer.

The question caught him off guard. Like everyone who frequently and automatically lies, he had a deep respect and fear of the truth. Something almost outside of himself drove a quick, painful response.

"Oh, no, Father, I never tell lies."

"Oh, no, Dad, I never lie."

For a moment, like the commoner in the king's chair, he tasted the pride of the situation. Then as the priest began to murmur conventional admonitions he realized that in heroically denying he had told lies, he had committed a terrible sin—he had told a lie in confession.

For a moment, like an ordinary person sitting in the king's chair, he felt the pride of the situation. Then, as the priest started to murmur typical warnings, he realized that by heroically denying he had lied, he had committed a serious sin—he had lied in confession.

In automatic response to Father Schwartz's "Make an act of contrition," he began to repeat aloud meaninglessly:

In automatic response to Father Schwartz's "Make an act of contrition," he started to repeat aloud without really meaning it:

"Oh, my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee...."

"Oh my God, I'm truly sorry for having offended You...."

He must fix this now—it was a bad mistake—but as his teeth shut on the last words of his prayer there was a sharp sound, and the slat was closed.

He has to fix this now—it was a huge mistake—but just as he finished the last words of his prayer, there was a sharp sound, and the slat was closed.

A minute later when he emerged into the twilight the relief in coming from the muggy church into an open world of wheat and sky postponed the full realization of what he had done. Instead of worrying he took a deep breath of the crisp air and began to say over and over to himself the words "Blatchford Sarnemington, Blatchford Sarnemington!"

A minute later, when he stepped out into the twilight, the relief of leaving the stuffy church behind for an open world of wheat and sky delayed the full understanding of what he had done. Instead of feeling anxious, he took a deep breath of the fresh air and started repeating to himself, "Blatchford Sarnemington, Blatchford Sarnemington!"

Blatchford Sarnemington was himself, and these words were in effect a lyric. When he became Blatchford Sarnemington a suave nobility flowed from him. Blatchford Sarnemington lived in great sweeping triumphs. When Rudolph half closed his eyes it meant that Blatchford had established dominance over him and, as he went by, there were envious mutters in the air: "Blatchford Sarnemington! There goes Blatchford Sarnemington."

Blatchford Sarnemington was true to himself, and these words were basically a song. When he embraced being Blatchford Sarnemington, a smooth elegance radiated from him. Blatchford Sarnemington thrived on grand successes. When Rudolph squinted slightly, it indicated that Blatchford had taken control over him, and as he walked past, whispers of envy filled the air: "Blatchford Sarnemington! There goes Blatchford Sarnemington."

He was Blatchford now for a while as he strutted homeward along the staggering road, but when the road braced itself in macadam in order to become the main street of Ludwig, Rudolph's exhilaration faded out and his mind cooled, and he felt the horror of his lie. God, of course, already knew of it—but Rudolph reserved a corner of his mind where he was safe from God, where he prepared the subterfuges with which he often tricked God. Hiding now in this corner he considered how he could best avoid the consequences of his misstatement.

He was Blatchford for a bit as he confidently walked home along the bumpy road, but when the road smoothed out into macadam to become the main street of Ludwig, Rudolph's excitement faded and his mind calmed down, and he felt the weight of his lie. God, of course, already knew about it—but Rudolph kept a part of his mind where he felt safe from God, a place where he crafted the excuses he often used to fool God. Hiding in this corner now, he thought about how he could best escape the consequences of his false statement.

At all costs he must avoid communion next day. The risk of angering God to such an extent was too great. He would have to drink water "by accident" in the morning, and thus, in accordance with a church law, render himself unfit to receive communion that day. In spite of its flimsiness this subterfuge was the most feasible that occurred to him. He accepted its risks and was concentrating on how best to put it into effect, as he turned the corner by Romberg's Drug Store and came in sight of his father's house.

At all costs, he had to avoid communion the next day. The risk of angering God too much was too high. He would have to "accidentally" drink some water in the morning, which would, according to church law, make him unfit to receive communion that day. Despite being flimsy, this plan was the best option he could think of. He accepted the risks and focused on how to make it work as he turned the corner by Romberg's Drug Store and saw his father's house.







III

Rudolph's father, the local freight-agent, had floated with the second wave of German and Irish stock to the Minnesota-Dakota country. Theoretically, great opportunities lay ahead of a young man of energy in that day and place, but Carl Miller had been incapable of establishing either with his superiors or his subordinates the reputation for approximate immutability which is essential to success in a hierarchic industry. Somewhat gross, he was, nevertheless, insufficiently hard-headed and unable to take fundamental relationships for granted, and this inability made him suspicious, unrestful, and continually dismayed.

Rudolph's dad, the local freight agent, had moved with the second wave of German and Irish immigrants to the Minnesota-Dakota area. Theoretically, there were great opportunities for a young man with drive at that time and place, but Carl Miller couldn't establish the kind of solid reputation necessary for success in a structured industry, whether with his boss or his team. Although he was a bit rough around the edges, he wasn't tough enough and couldn't take basic relationships for granted, which left him feeling suspicious, restless, and constantly disheartened.

His two bonds with the colorful life were his faith in the Roman Catholic Church and his mystical worship of the Empire Builder, James J. Hill. Hill was the apotheosis of that quality in which Miller himself was deficient—the sense of things, the feel of things, the hint of rain in the wind on the cheek. Miller's mind worked late on the old decisions of other men, and he had never in his life felt the balance of any single thing in his hands. His weary, sprightly, undersized body was growing old in Hill's gigantic shadow. For twenty years he had lived alone with Hill's name and God.

His two connections to the vibrant world were his belief in the Roman Catholic Church and his spiritual admiration for the Empire Builder, James J. Hill. Hill represented everything Miller himself lacked—the ability to truly sense and experience life, to catch the scent of rain in the wind on his skin. Miller constantly reflected on the past choices made by others, and he had never felt the weight of anything tangible in his hands. His tired, lively, undersized body was aging beneath Hill’s enormous influence. For twenty years, he had lived alone, surrounded only by Hill's legacy and his faith in God.

On Sunday morning Carl Miller awoke in the dustless quiet of six o'clock. Kneeling by the side of the bed he bent his yellow-gray hair and the full dapple bangs of his mustache into the pillow, and prayed for several minutes. Then he drew off his night-shirt—like the rest of his generation he had never been able to endure pajamas—and clothed his thin, white, hairless body in woollen underwear.

On Sunday morning, Carl Miller woke up to the peacefulness of six o'clock. Kneeling by the side of the bed, he pressed his yellow-gray hair and the full dappled bangs of his mustache into the pillow and prayed for several minutes. Then he took off his nightshirt—like the rest of his generation, he could never stand wearing pajamas—and dressed his thin, pale, hairless body in wool underwear.

He shaved. Silence in the other bedroom where his wife lay nervously asleep. Silence from the screened-off corner of the hall where his son's cot stood, and his son slept among his Alger books, his collection of cigar-bands, his mothy pennants—"Cornell," "Hamlin," and "Greetings from Pueblo, New Mexico"—and the other possessions of his private life. From outside Miller could hear the shrill birds and the whirring movement of the poultry, and, as an undertone, the low, swelling click-a-tick of the six-fifteen through-train for Montana and the green coast beyond. Then as the cold water dripped from the wash-rag in his hand he raised his head suddenly—he had heard a furtive sound from the kitchen below.

He shaved. There was silence in the other bedroom where his wife lay restlessly asleep. Silence from the corner of the hall where his son's crib stood, and his son slept among his Alger books, his collection of cigar bands, his old pennants—"Cornell," "Hamlin," and "Greetings from Pueblo, New Mexico"—and the other belongings of his private life. Outside, Miller could hear the loud birds and the flapping of the chickens, and, as an undertone, the low, steady click-a-tick of the six-fifteen train heading for Montana and the green coast beyond. Then, as the cold water dripped from the washcloth in his hand, he suddenly raised his head—he had heard a sneaky sound from the kitchen below.

He dried his razor hastily, slipped his dangling suspenders to his shoulder, and listened. Some one was walking in the kitchen, and he knew by the light footfall that it was not his wife. With his mouth faintly ajar he ran quickly down the stairs and opened the kitchen door.

He quickly dried his razor, slipped his suspenders over his shoulder, and listened. Someone was walking in the kitchen, and he could tell by the light footsteps that it wasn't his wife. With his mouth slightly open, he hurried down the stairs and opened the kitchen door.

Standing by the sink, with one hand on the still dripping faucet and the other clutching a full glass of water, stood his son. The boy's eyes, still heavy with sleep, met his father's with a frightened, reproachful beauty. He was barefooted, and his pajamas were rolled up at the knees and sleeves.

Standing by the sink, with one hand on the still dripping faucet and the other holding a full glass of water, was his son. The boy's eyes, still heavy with sleep, met his father's with a scared, accusatory beauty. He was barefoot, and his pajamas were rolled up at the knees and sleeves.

For a moment they both remained motionless—Carl Miller's brow went down and his son's went up, as though they were striking a balance between the extremes of emotion which filled them. Then the bangs of the parent's moustache descended portentously until they obscured his mouth, and he gave a short glance around to see if anything had been disturbed.

For a moment, they both stood still—Carl Miller furrowed his brow while his son raised his, as if they were trying to find a balance between the intense emotions that overwhelmed them. Then, the tips of the father's mustache drooped ominously until they covered his mouth, and he quickly looked around to check if anything had been disturbed.

The kitchen was garnished with sunlight which beat on the pans and made the smooth boards of the floor and table yellow and clean as wheat. It was the centre of the house where the fire burned and the tins fitted into tins like toys, and the steam whistled all day on a thin pastel note. Nothing was moved, nothing touched—except the faucet where beads of water still formed and dripped with a white flash into the sink below.

The kitchen was filled with sunlight that shone on the pans and made the smooth floors and table glow yellow and clean like fresh wheat. It was the heart of the house where the fire burned and the tins stacked neatly like toys, and the steam whistled all day in a soft, pastel tone. Nothing was disturbed, nothing was touched—except the faucet where beads of water still formed and dripped with a bright flash into the sink below.

"What are you doing?"

"What are you up to?"

"I got awful thirsty, so I thought I'd just come down and get——"

"I got really thirsty, so I thought I'd just come down and get——"

"I thought you were going to communion."

"I thought you were going to church for communion."

A look of vehement astonishment spread over his son's face.

A look of intense surprise spread across his son's face.

"I forgot all about it."

"I totally forgot about it."

"Have you drunk any water?"

"Have you had any water?"

"No——"

"Nope——"

As the word left his mouth Rudolph knew it was the wrong answer, but the faded indignant eyes facing him had signalled up the truth before the boy's will could act. He realized, too, that he should never have come down-stairs; some vague necessity for verisimilitude had made him want to leave a wet glass as evidence by the sink; the honesty of his imagination had betrayed him.

As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Rudolph knew he had given the wrong answer, but the disappointed eyes looking at him had already revealed the truth before he could process it. He also realized that he shouldn't have come downstairs; some unclear need for authenticity had made him want to leave a wet glass by the sink as proof. His naive honesty had let him down.

"Pour it out," commanded his father, "that water!"

"Pour it out," his father ordered, "that water!"

Rudolph despairingly inverted the tumbler.

Rudolph sadly tipped over the tumbler.

"What's the matter with you, anyways?" demanded Miller angrily.

"What's wrong with you, anyway?" demanded Miller angrily.

"Nothing."

"Nothing."

"Did you go to confession yesterday?"

"Did you go to confession yesterday?"

"Yes."

"Yep."

"Then why were you going to drink water?"

"Then why were you going to have some water?"

"I don't know—I forgot."

"I don't know—I forgot."

"Maybe you care more about being a little bit thirsty than you do about your religion."

"Maybe you care more about being a little thirsty than you do about your faith."

"I forgot." Rudolph could feel the tears straining in his eyes.

"I forgot." Rudolph could feel the tears welling up in his eyes.

"That's no answer."

"That's not an answer."

"Well, I did."

"Yeah, I did."

"You better look out!" His father held to a high, persistent, inquisitory note: "If you're so forgetful that you can't remember your religion something better be done about it."

"You better watch out!" His father maintained a high, relentless, questioning tone: "If you're so forgetful that you can't remember your beliefs, then something needs to change."

Rudolph filled a sharp pause with:

Rudolph broke the silence with:

"I can remember it all right."

"I can remember it all clearly."

"First you begin to neglect your religion," cried his father, fanning his own fierceness, "the next thing you'll begin to lie and steal, and the next thing is the reform school!"

"First you start to ignore your religion," his father shouted, feeding his own anger, "then you'll start lying and stealing, and the next thing is the reform school!"

Not even this familiar threat could deepen the abyss that Rudolph saw before him. He must either tell all now, offering his body for what he knew would be a ferocious beating, or else tempt the thunderbolts by receiving the Body and Blood of Christ with sacrilege upon his soul. And of the two the former seemed more terrible—it was not so much the beating he dreaded as the savage ferocity, outlet of the ineffectual man, which would lie behind it.

Not even this familiar threat could make the darkness that Rudolph saw before him any worse. He had to either confess everything now, risking a brutal beating, or tempt fate by receiving the Body and Blood of Christ while carrying guilt on his soul. Of the two options, the first one seemed more horrifying—it wasn’t so much the beating he feared but the wild rage, a reflection of the powerless man, that would drive it.

"Put down that glass and go up-stairs and dress!" his father ordered, "and when we get to church, before you go to communion, you better kneel down and ask God to forgive you for your carelessness."

"Put down that glass and go upstairs and get dressed!" his father ordered. "And when we get to church, before you take communion, you better kneel down and ask God to forgive you for your carelessness."

Some accidental emphasis in the phrasing of this command acted like a catalytic agent on the confusion and terror of Rudolph's mind. A wild, proud anger rose in him, and he dashed the tumbler passionately into the sink.

Some accidental emphasis in the way this command was phrased acted like a trigger for the confusion and terror in Rudolph's mind. A fierce, proud anger surged within him, and he passionately threw the tumbler into the sink.

His father uttered a strained, husky sound, and sprang for him. Rudolph dodged to the side, tipped over a chair, and tried to get beyond the kitchen table. He cried out sharply when a hand grasped his pajama shoulder, then he felt the dull impact of a fist against the side of his head, and glancing blows on the upper part of his body. As he slipped here and there in his father's grasp, dragged or lifted when he clung instinctively to an arm, aware of sharp smarts and strains, he made no sound except that he laughed hysterically several times. Then in less than a minute the blows abruptly ceased. After a lull during which Rudolph was tightly held, and during which they both trembled violently and uttered strange, truncated words, Carl Miller half dragged, half threatened his son up-stairs.

His father let out a strained, raspy sound and lunged for him. Rudolph dodged to the side, knocked over a chair, and tried to get past the kitchen table. He shouted when a hand grabbed his pajama shoulder, then felt a dull punch to the side of his head and quick hits to the upper part of his body. As he slipped around in his father's grip, getting pulled or lifted when he instinctively clung to an arm, he felt sharp pains and strains but made no sound except for laughing hysterically a few times. Then, in less than a minute, the blows suddenly stopped. After a pause, during which Rudolph was held tightly and they both trembled violently, mumbling strange, broken words, Carl Miller half dragged, half threatened his son upstairs.

"Put on your clothes!"

"Get dressed!"

Rudolph was now both hysterical and cold. His head hurt him, and there was a long, shallow scratch on his neck from his father's finger-nail, and he sobbed and trembled as he dressed. He was aware of his mother standing at the doorway in a wrapper, her wrinkled face compressing and squeezing and opening out into new series of wrinkles which floated and eddied from neck to brow. Despising her nervous ineffectuality and avoiding her rudely when she tried to touch his neck with witch-hazel, he made a hasty, choking toilet. Then he followed his father out of the house and along the road toward the Catholic church.

Rudolph was both panicking and freezing. His head ached, and there was a long, shallow scratch on his neck from his father's fingernail. He sobbed and shook as he got dressed. He noticed his mother standing in the doorway in a robe, her wrinkled face tightening and relaxing, creating new lines that drifted and swirled from her neck to her forehead. He felt contempt for her nervousness and avoided her brusquely when she tried to apply witch hazel to his neck. After a quick, labored cleanup, he followed his father out of the house and down the road toward the Catholic church.







IV

They walked without speaking except when Carl Miller acknowledged automatically the existence of passers-by. Rudolph's uneven breathing alone ruffled the hot Sunday silence.

They walked in silence, only breaking it when Carl Miller automatically nodded to people passing by. Rudolph’s labored breathing was the only thing disturbing the quiet heat of the Sunday afternoon.

His father stopped decisively at the door of the church.

His father paused firmly at the church door.

"I've decided you'd better go to confession again. Go in and tell Father Schwartz what you did and ask God's pardon."

"I think you should go to confession again. Go in and tell Father Schwartz what you did and ask for God's forgiveness."

"You lost your temper, too!" said Rudolph quickly.

"You lost your temper, too!" Rudolph said quickly.

Carl Miller took a step toward his son, who moved cautiously backward.

Carl Miller took a step toward his son, who carefully moved back.

"All right, I'll go."

"Okay, I’m going."

"Are you going to do what I say?" cried his father in a hoarse whisper.

"Are you going to do what I say?" his father yelled in a raspy whisper.

"All right."

"Okay."

Rudolph walked into the church, and for the second time in two days entered the confessional and knelt down. The slat went up almost at once.

Rudolph walked into the church and, for the second time in two days, entered the confessional and knelt down. The slat opened almost immediately.

"I accuse myself of missing my morning prayers."

"I admit that I skipped my morning prayers."

"Is that all?"

"Is that it?"

"That's all."

"That's it."

A maudlin exultation filled him. Not easily ever again would he be able to put an abstraction before the necessities of his ease and pride. An invisible line had been crossed, and he had become aware of his isolation—aware that it applied not only to those moments when he was Blatchford Sarnemington but that it applied to all his inner life. Hitherto such phenomena as "crazy" ambitions and petty shames and fears had been but private reservations, unacknowledged before the throne of his official soul. Now he realized unconsciously that his private reservations were himself—and all the rest a garnished front and a conventional flag. The pressure of his environment had driven him into the lonely secret road of adolescence.

A sentimental joy filled him. He would never again be able to prioritize an idea over the necessities of his comfort and pride. He had crossed an invisible line and became aware of his isolation—recognizing that it wasn’t just in the moments when he was Blatchford Sarnemington, but it applied to all parts of his inner life. Until now, feelings like "crazy" ambitions and small shames and fears had been just private thoughts, unrecognized in front of his official self. Now he realized, almost without thinking, that his private thoughts were his true self—and everything else was just a polished facade and a conventional appearance. The pressure of his surroundings had pushed him onto the lonely, secret path of adolescence.

He knelt in the pew beside his father. Mass began. Rudolph knelt up—when he was alone he slumped his posterior back against the seat—and tasted the consciousness of a sharp, subtle revenge. Beside him his father prayed that God would forgive Rudolph, and asked also that his own outbreak of temper would be pardoned. He glanced sidewise at this son, and was relieved to see that the strained, wild look had gone from his face and that he had ceased sobbing. The Grace of God, inherent in the Sacrament, would do the rest, and perhaps after Mass everything would be better. He was proud of Rudolph in his heart, and beginning to be truly as well as formally sorry for what he had done.

He knelt in the pew next to his dad. Mass started. Rudolph knelt up—when he was alone, he slouched back against the seat—and felt a sharp, subtle sense of revenge. Next to him, his dad prayed for God to forgive Rudolph and also asked that his own outburst of anger would be forgiven. He glanced at his son and felt relieved to see that the tense, wild look had left his face and that he had stopped crying. The Grace of God, present in the Sacrament, would take care of the rest, and maybe after Mass everything would improve. He felt proud of Rudolph in his heart and was starting to genuinely, as well as formally, regret what he had done.

Usually, the passing of the collection box was a significant point for Rudolph in the services. If, as was often the case, he had no money to drop in he would be furiously ashamed and bow his head and pretend not to see the box, lest Jeanne Brady in the pew behind should take notice and suspect an acute family poverty. But to-day he glanced coldly into it as it skimmed under his eyes, noting with casual interest the large number of pennies it contained.

Usually, when the collection box was passed around, it was a big moment for Rudolph during the services. If, as often happened, he had no money to put in, he would feel intensely embarrassed and bow his head, pretending not to see the box, hoping that Jeanne Brady in the pew behind him wouldn’t notice and suspect that the family was in serious financial trouble. But today, he looked coldly into it as it moved past him, casually noting the large amount of pennies it held.

When the bell rang for communion, however, he quivered. There was no reason why God should not stop his heart. During the past twelve hours he had committed a series of mortal sins increasing in gravity, and he was now to crown them all with a blasphemous sacrilege.

When the bell rang for communion, though, he trembled. There was no reason for God not to stop his heart. Over the past twelve hours, he had committed a series of serious sins, getting worse with each one, and now he was about to top it all off with a blasphemous act.

"Domini, non sum dignus; ut interes sub tectum meum; sed tantum dic verbo, et sanabitur anima mea...."

"Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof; but only say the word, and my soul shall be healed...."

There was a rustle in the pews, and the communicants worked their ways into the aisle with downcast eyes and joined hands. Those of larger piety pressed together their finger-tips to form steeples. Among these latter was Carl Miller. Rudolph followed him toward the altar-rail and knelt down, automatically taking up the napkin under his chin. The bell rang sharply, and the priest turned from the altar with the white Host held above the chalice:

There was a rustle in the pews as the worshippers made their way into the aisle with bowed heads and clasped hands. Those with stronger faith pressed their fingertips together to form steeples. Among them was Carl Miller. Rudolph followed him toward the altar and knelt down, instinctively placing the napkin under his chin. The bell rang clearly, and the priest turned from the altar with the white Host held above the chalice:

"Corpus Domini nostri Jesu Christi custodiat animam meam in vitam æternam."

"May the Body of our Lord Jesus Christ guard my soul for eternal life."

A cold sweat broke out on Rudolph's forehead as the communion began. Along the line Father Schwartz moved, and with gathering nausea Rudolph felt his heart-valves weakening at the will of God. It seemed to him that the church was darker and that a great quiet had fallen, broken only by the inarticulate mumble which announced the approach of the Creator of Heaven and Earth. He dropped his head down between his shoulders and waited for the blow.

A cold sweat erupted on Rudolph's forehead as the communion started. As Father Schwartz moved along the line, Rudolph felt a growing nausea and sensed his heart starting to weaken under God's will. The church felt darker, and a heavy silence settled, interrupted only by the vague mumbling that signaled the arrival of the Creator of Heaven and Earth. He lowered his head between his shoulders and braced himself for the impact.

Then he felt a sharp nudge in his side. His father was poking him to sit up, not to slump against the rail; the priest was only two places away.

Then he felt a sharp nudge in his side. His father was poking him to sit up, not to slouch against the rail; the priest was only two seats away.

"Corpus Domini nostri Jesu Christi custodiat animam meam in vitam æternam."

"May the body of our Lord Jesus Christ protect my soul for eternal life."

Rudolph opened his mouth. He felt the sticky wax taste of the wafer on his tongue. He remained motionless for what seemed an interminable period of time, his head still raised, the wafer undissolved in his mouth. Then again he started at the pressure of his father's elbow, and saw that the people were falling away from the altar like leaves and turning with blind downcast eyes to their pews, alone with God.

Rudolph opened his mouth. He felt the sticky waxy taste of the wafer on his tongue. He stayed completely still for what felt like forever, his head still raised, the wafer intact in his mouth. Then he flinched at the pressure of his father’s elbow and saw that the people were drifting away from the altar like leaves, turning with their eyes downcast and blind to their pews, alone with God.

Rudolph was alone with himself, drenched with perspiration and deep in mortal sin. As he walked back to his pew the sharp taps of his cloven hoofs were loud upon the floor, and he knew that it was a dark poison he carried in his heart.

Rudolph was by himself, sweating and overwhelmed by guilt. As he walked back to his pew, the sharp sounds of his cloven hooves echoed on the floor, and he realized that he was carrying a heavy darkness in his heart.







V

"Sagitta Volante in Dei"

The beautiful little boy with eyes like blue stones, and lashes that sprayed open from them like flower-petals had finished telling his sin to Father Schwartz—and the square of sunshine in which he sat had moved forward half an hour into the room. Rudolph had become less frightened now; once eased of the story a reaction had set in. He knew that as long as he was in the room with this priest God would not stop his heart, so he sighed and sat quietly, waiting for the priest to speak.

The beautiful little boy with eyes like blue stones and lashes that fanned out like flower petals had finished sharing his sin with Father Schwartz—and the patch of sunshine he was sitting in had moved forward half an hour into the room. Rudolph was less scared now; once he had told his story, a sense of relief washed over him. He knew that as long as he was in the room with this priest, God wouldn’t stop his heart, so he sighed and sat quietly, waiting for the priest to speak.

Father Schwartz's cold watery eyes were fixed upon the carpet pattern on which the sun had brought out the swastikas and the flat bloomless vines and the pale echoes of flowers. The hall-clock ticked insistently toward sunset, and from the ugly room and from the afternoon outside the window arose a stiff monotony, shattered now and then by the reverberate clapping of a far-away hammer on the dry air. The priest's nerves were strung thin and the beads of his rosary were crawling and squirming like snakes upon the green felt of his table top. He could not remember now what it was he should say.

Father Schwartz's cold, watery eyes were fixed on the carpet pattern where the sun had highlighted the swastikas, the flat, wilted vines, and the faint outlines of flowers. The clock in the hall ticked insistently toward sunset, and from the dull room and the afternoon outside the window came a stiff monotony, broken now and then by the distant sound of a hammer hitting the dry air. The priest's nerves were stretched thin, and the beads of his rosary were crawling and squirming like snakes on the green felt of his tabletop. He couldn't remember what he was supposed to say.

Of all the things in this lost Swede town he was most aware of this little boy's eyes—the beautiful eyes, with lashes that left them reluctantly and curved back as though to meet them once more.

Of all the things in this lost Swedish town, he was most aware of this little boy's eyes—the beautiful eyes, with lashes that seemed to hesitate as they left, curving back as if to reconnect with them once more.

For a moment longer the silence persisted while Rudolph waited, and the priest struggled to remember something that was slipping farther and farther away from him, and the clock ticked in the broken house. Then Father Schwartz stared hard at the little boy and remarked in a peculiar voice:

For a moment longer, the silence lasted as Rudolph waited, and the priest tried to recall something that was fading further and further from his mind, while the clock ticked in the run-down house. Then Father Schwartz looked intently at the little boy and said in a strange voice:

"When a lot of people get together in the best places things go glimmering."

"When a bunch of people gather in the best spots, things shine."

Rudolph started and looked quickly at Father Schwartz's face.

Rudolph jumped and glanced quickly at Father Schwartz's face.

"I said—" began the priest, and paused, listening. "Do you hear the hammer and the clock ticking and the bees? Well, that's no good. The thing is to have a lot of people in the centre of the world, wherever that happens to be. Then"—his watery eyes widened knowingly—"things go glimmering."

"I said—" started the priest, then paused, listening. "Do you hear the hammer, the clock ticking, and the bees? Well, that’s not helpful. The key is to have a lot of people at the center of the world, wherever that might be. Then"—his watery eyes widened knowingly—"things start to sparkle."

"Yes, Father," agreed Rudolph, feeling a little frightened.

"Yeah, Dad," agreed Rudolph, feeling a bit scared.

"What are you going to be when you grow up?"

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Well, I was going to be a baseball-player for a while," answered Rudolph nervously, "but I don't think that's a very good ambition, so I think I'll be an actor or a Navy officer."

"Well, I was planning to be a baseball player for a bit," Rudolph replied nervously, "but I don't think that's a very good goal, so I think I’ll be an actor or a Navy officer."

Again the priest stared at him.

Again the priest looked at him.

"I see exactly what you mean," he said, with a fierce air.

"I totally get what you're saying," he said, with an intense attitude.

Rudolph had not meant anything in particular, and at the implication that he had, he became more uneasy.

Rudolph didn't mean anything specific, and when it was suggested that he did, he became even more uncomfortable.

"This man is crazy," he thought, "and I'm scared of him. He wants me to help him out some way, and I don't want to."

"This guy is nuts," he thought, "and I'm afraid of him. He wants me to help him in some way, and I don't want to."

"You look as if things went glimmering," cried Father Schwartz wildly. "Did you ever go to a party?"

"You look like things fell apart," shouted Father Schwartz frantically. "Have you ever been to a party?"

"Yes, Father."

"Yes, Dad."

"And did you notice that everybody was properly dressed? That's what I mean. Just as you went into the party there was a moment when everybody was properly dressed. Maybe two little girls were standing by the door and some boys were leaning over the banisters, and there were bowls around full of flowers."

"And did you see that everyone was dressed nicely? That’s exactly what I mean. Just as you walked into the party, there was a moment when everyone looked great. Maybe two little girls were hanging out by the door, and some boys were leaning over the railing, with

"I've been to a lot of parties," said Rudolph, rather relieved that the conversation had taken this turn.

"I've been to a lot of parties," said Rudolph, feeling relieved that the conversation had shifted in this direction.

"Of course," continued Father Schwartz triumphantly, "I knew you'd agree with me. But my theory is that when a whole lot of people get together in the best places things go glimmering all the time."

"Of course," Father Schwartz said triumphantly, "I knew you'd agree with me. My theory is that when a lot of people come together in the right places, things sparkle all the time."

Rudolph found himself thinking of Blatchford Sarnemington.

Rudolph found himself thinking about Blatchford Sarnemington.

"Please listen to me!" commanded the priest impatiently. "Stop worrying about last Saturday. Apostasy implies an absolute damnation only on the supposition of a previous perfect faith. Does that fix it?"

"Please listen to me!" the priest urged impatiently. "Stop stressing over last Saturday. Apostasy only means complete damnation if there was a perfect faith before. Does that make sense?"

Rudolph had not the faintest idea what Father Schwartz was talking about, but he nodded and the priest nodded back at him and returned to his mysterious preoccupation.

Rudolph had no clue what Father Schwartz was talking about, but he nodded, and the priest nodded back at him and went back to his mysterious task.

"Why," he cried, "they have lights now as big as stars—do you realize that? I heard of one light they had in Paris or somewhere that was as big as a star. A lot of people had it—a lot of gay people. They have all sorts of things now that you never dreamed of."

"Why," he shouted, "they have lights now that are as big as stars—can you believe that? I heard about one light they had in Paris or somewhere that was as big as a star. A lot of people had it—lots of fabulous people. They have all kinds of things now that you never would have imagined."

"Look here—" He came nearer to Rudolph, but the boy drew away, so Father Schwartz went back and sat down in his chair, his eyes dried out and hot. "Did you ever see an amusement park?"

"Look here—" He stepped closer to Rudolph, but the boy pulled away, so Father Schwartz went back and sat down in his chair, his eyes dry and burning. "Have you ever seen an amusement park?"

"No, Father."

"No, Dad."

"Well, go and see an amusement park." The priest waved his hand vaguely. "It's a thing like a fair, only much more glittering. Go to one at night and stand a little way off from it in a dark place—under dark trees. You'll see a big wheel made of lights turning in the air, and a long slide shooting boats down into the water. A band playing somewhere, and a smell of peanuts—and everything will twinkle. But it won't remind you of anything, you see. It will all just hang out there in the night like a colored balloon—like a big yellow lantern on a pole."

"Well, go check out an amusement park." The priest waved his hand casually. "It's like a fair, but way more glamorous. Visit one at night and stand a little ways off in a dark spot—under some trees. You'll see a giant wheel made of lights spinning in the air, and a long slide sending boats down into the water. A band playing somewhere, and the smell of peanuts—and everything will sparkle. But it won't remind you of anything, you know. It will just float out there in the night like a colorful balloon—like a big yellow lantern on a pole."

Father Schwartz frowned as he suddenly thought of something.

Father Schwartz frowned as a thought suddenly crossed his mind.

"But don't get up close," he warned Rudolph, "because if you do you'll only feel the heat and the sweat and the life."

"But don't get too close," he warned Rudolph, "because if you do, you'll just feel the heat, the sweat, and the life."

All this talking seemed particularly strange and awful to Rudolph, because this man was a priest. He sat there, half terrified, his beautiful eyes open wide and staring at Father Schwartz. But underneath his terror he felt that his own inner convictions were confirmed. There was something ineffably gorgeous somewhere that had nothing to do with God. He no longer thought that God was angry at him about the original lie, because He must have understood that Rudolph had done it to make things finer in the confessional, brightening up the dinginess of his admissions by saying a thing radiant and proud. At the moment when he had affirmed immaculate honor a silver pennon had flapped out into the breeze somewhere and there had been the crunch of leather and the shine of silver spurs and a troop of horsemen waiting for dawn on a low green hill. The sun had made stars of light on their breastplates like the picture at home of the German cuirassiers at Sedan.

All this talking felt really strange and awful to Rudolph because this guy was a priest. He sat there, half terrified, his beautiful eyes wide open and glued to Father Schwartz. But beneath his fear, he sensed that his own beliefs were being validated. There was something incredibly beautiful somewhere that had nothing to do with God. He stopped thinking that God was mad at him for the original lie because He must have understood that Rudolph did it to make things better in the confessional, adding some brightness to the gloom of his confessions by saying something radiant and proud. At the moment he had claimed immaculate honor, a silver banner had fluttered in the breeze somewhere, and he heard the crunch of leather and the shine of silver spurs, with a group of horsemen waiting for dawn on a low green hill. The sun had made stars of light on their breastplates like the picture at home of the German cuirassiers at Sedan.

But now the priest was muttering inarticulate and heart-broken words, and the boy became wildly afraid. Horror entered suddenly in at the open window, and the atmosphere of the room changed. Father Schwartz collapsed precipitously down on his knees, and let his body settle back against a chair.

But now the priest was mumbling incoherent and heartbroken words, and the boy became extremely scared. A feeling of horror rushed in through the open window, and the mood of the room shifted. Father Schwartz suddenly fell to his knees and leaned his body back against a chair.

"Oh, my God!" he cried out, in a strange voice, and wilted to the floor.

"Oh my God!" he shouted, in a strange voice, and collapsed to the floor.

Then a human oppression rose from the priest's worn clothes, and mingled with the faint smell of old food in the corners. Rudolph gave a sharp cry and ran in a panic from the house—while the collapsed man lay there quite still, filling his room, filling it with voices and faces until it was crowded with echolalia, and rang loud with a steady, shrill note of laughter.

Then a human suffering emanated from the priest's tattered clothes, blending with the faint odor of stale food in the corners. Rudolph let out a sharp cry and frantically dashed out of the house—while the fallen man remained there completely still, filling his room, crowding it with voices and faces until it felt overwhelmed with echoes, ringing loudly with a constant, high-pitched sound of laughter.

Outside the window the blue sirocco trembled over the wheat, and girls with yellow hair walked sensuously along roads that bounded the fields, calling innocent, exciting things to the young men who were working in the lines between the grain. Legs were shaped under starchless gingham, and rims of the necks of dresses were warm and damp. For five hours now hot fertile life had burned in the afternoon. It would be night in three hours, and all along the land there would be these blonde Northern girls and the tall young men from the farms lying out beside the wheat, under the moon.

Outside the window, the blue sirocco fluttered over the wheat, and girls with blonde hair walked flirtatiously along the roads that bordered the fields, calling playful, exciting things to the young men working in the rows between the grain. Their legs were shaped under soft gingham, and the edges of their dresses were warm and damp. For five hours now, the hot, vibrant life had been thriving in the afternoon sun. It would be night in three hours, and across the land, there would be these blonde Northern girls and tall young men from the farms lying beside the wheat, under the moon.







RAGS MARTIN-JONES AND THE PR-NCE OF
W-LES

The Majestic came gliding into New York harbor on an April morning. She sniffed at the tugboats and turtle-gaited ferries, winked at a gaudy young yacht, and ordered a cattle-boat out of her way with a snarling whistle of steam. Then she parked at her private dock with all the fuss of a stout lady sitting down, and announced complacently that she had just come from Cherbourg and Southampton with a cargo of the very best people in the world.

The Majestic glided into New York harbor on an April morning. She took a look at the tugboats and slow-moving ferries, winked at a flashy young yacht, and ordered a cattle boat out of her way with a loud whistle of steam. Then she docked at her private pier with all the drama of a heavyset lady sitting down, and proudly announced that she had just come from Cherbourg and Southampton, bringing with her the best people in the world.

The very best people in the world stood on the deck and waved idiotically to their poor relations who were waiting on the dock for gloves from Paris. Before long a great toboggan had connected the Majestic with the North American continent, and the ship began to disgorge these very best people in the world—who turned out to be Gloria Swanson, two buyers from Lord & Taylor, the financial minister from Graustark with a proposal for funding the debt, and an African king who had been trying to land somewhere all winter and was feeling violently seasick.

The best people in the world stood on the deck and waved enthusiastically to their less fortunate relatives waiting on the dock for gloves from Paris. Soon, a large ramp connected the Majestic with the North American continent, and the ship started to unload these remarkable people—who turned out to be Gloria Swanson, two buyers from Lord & Taylor, the financial minister from Graustark with a proposal for covering the debt, and an African king who had been trying to find a place to land all winter and was feeling extremely seasick.

The photographers worked passionately as the stream of passengers flowed on to the dock. There was a burst of cheering at the appearance of a pair of stretchers laden with two Middle-Westerners who had drunk themselves delirious on the last night out.

The photographers worked eagerly as the crowd of passengers moved onto the dock. There was a loud cheer when a pair of stretchers arrived, carrying two Midwesterners who had drunk themselves into a stupor on the last night out.

The deck gradually emptied, but when the last bottle of Benedictine had reached shore the photographers still remained at their posts. And the officer in charge of debarkation still stood at the foot of the gangway, glancing first at his watch and then at the deck as if some important part of the cargo was still on board. At last from the watchers on the pier there arose a long-drawn "Ah-h-h!" as a final entourage began to stream down from deck B.

The deck slowly cleared, but even when the last bottle of Benedictine was brought ashore, the photographers stayed in position. The officer overseeing the disembarkation remained at the bottom of the gangway, checking his watch and then looking at the deck as if some crucial part of the cargo was still onboard. Finally, a prolonged "Ah-h-h!" came from the spectators on the pier as the last group started coming down from deck B.

First came two French maids, carrying small, purple dogs, and followed by a squad of porters, blind and invisible under innumerable bunches and bouquets of fresh flowers. Another maid followed, leading a sad-eyed orphan child of a French flavor, and close upon its heels walked the second officer pulling along three neurasthenic wolfhounds, much to their reluctance and his own.

First, two French maids arrived, holding tiny purple dogs, and were followed by a group of porters, hidden beneath countless bunches and bouquets of fresh flowers. Another maid came next, guiding a sad-eyed orphan child who had a French vibe, and right behind them walked the second officer, dragging three nervous wolfhounds, to the dismay of both the dogs and himself.

A pause. Then the captain, Sir Howard George Witchcraft, appeared at the rail, with something that might have been a pile of gorgeous silver-fox fur standing by his side.

A pause. Then the captain, Sir Howard George Witchcraft, appeared at the rail, with what looked like a pile of beautiful silver-fox fur next to him.

Rags Martin-Jones, after five years in the capitals of Europe, was returning to her native land!

Rags Martin-Jones, after five years in the capitals of Europe, was coming back to her home country!

Rags Martin-Jones was not a dog. She was half a girl and half a flower, and as she shook hands with Captain Sir Howard George Witchcraft she smiled as if some one had told her the newest, freshest joke in the world. All the people who had not already left the pier felt that smile trembling on the April air and turned around to see.

Rags Martin-Jones wasn’t just a dog. She was part girl, part flower, and as she shook hands with Captain Sir Howard George Witchcraft, she smiled like someone had just told her the latest, greatest joke in the world. Everyone who hadn’t already left the pier could feel that smile hanging in the April air and turned to look.

She came slowly down the gangway. Her hat, an expensive, inscrutable experiment, was crushed under her arm, so that her scant boy's hair, convict's hair, tried unsuccessfully to toss and flop a little in the harbor wind. Her face was like seven o'clock on a wedding morning save where she had slipped a preposterous monocle into an eye of clear childish blue. At every few steps her long lashes would tilt out the monocle, and she would laugh, a bored, happy laugh, and replace the supercilious spectacle in the other eye.

She walked slowly down the gangway. Her hat, an expensive and puzzling creation, was crumpled under her arm, leaving her sparse boyish hair, styled like a convict's, trying in vain to toss and flop a bit in the harbor breeze. Her face looked like a sunny wedding morning at seven o'clock, except for the ridiculous monocle she had stuck in one eye of bright, childish blue. With every few steps, her long lashes would push the monocle out, and she would laugh, a mix of boredom and happiness, before slipping the haughty eyewear back into her other eye.

Tap! Her one hundred and five pounds reached the pier and it seemed to sway and bend from the shock of her beauty. A few porters fainted. A large, sentimental shark which had followed the ship across made a despairing leap to see her once more, and then dove, broken-hearted, back into the deep sea. Rags Martin-Jones had come home.

Tap! Her one hundred and five pounds hit the pier, and it looked like it swayed and bent from the impact of her beauty. A few porters passed out. A large, sentimental shark that had followed the ship made a desperate leap to see her again, then dove, heartbroken, back into the deep sea. Rags Martin-Jones had come home.

There was no member of her family there to meet her, for the simple reason that she was the only member of her family left alive. In 1913 her parents had gone down on the Titanic together rather than be separated in this world, and so the Martin-Jones fortune of seventy-five millions had been inherited by a very little girl on her tenth birthday. It was what the consumer always refers to as a "shame."

There was no family member there to greet her, simply because she was the only one left alive. In 1913, her parents had perished on the Titanic together rather than be separated in this world, and so the Martin-Jones fortune of seventy-five million had been inherited by a very young girl on her tenth birthday. It was what consumers often call a "shame."

Rags Martin-Jones (everybody had forgotten her real name long ago) was now photographed from all sides. The monocle persistently fell out, and she kept laughing and yawning and replacing it, so no very clear picture of her was taken—except by the motion-picture camera. All the photographs, however, included a flustered, handsome young man, with an almost ferocious love-light burning in his eyes, who had met her on the dock. His name was John M. Chestnut, he had already written the story of his success for the American Magazine, and he had been hopelessly in love with Rags ever since the time when she, like the tides, had come under the influence of the summer moon.

Rags Martin-Jones (everyone had forgotten her real name long ago) was now being photographed from every angle. The monocle kept falling out, and she kept laughing, yawning, and adjusting it, so no really clear picture of her was captured—except by the movie camera. All the photos, however, featured a flustered, handsome young man with an almost fierce love shining in his eyes, who had met her at the dock. His name was John M. Chestnut, he had already written about his success for the American Magazine, and he had been hopelessly in love with Rags ever since the time when she, like the tides, had come under the spell of the summer moon.

When Rags became really aware of his presence they were walking down the pier, and she looked at him blankly as though she had never seen him before in this world.

When Rags truly realized he was there, they were walking down the pier, and she stared at him blankly as if she had never seen him before in her life.

"Rags," he began, "Rags——"

"Rags," he started, "Rags——"

"John M. Chestnut?" she inquired, inspecting him with great interest.

"John M. Chestnut?" she asked, looking him over with keen interest.

"Of course!" he exclaimed angrily. "Are you trying to pretend you don't know me? That you didn't write me to meet you here?"

"Of course!" he shouted angrily. "Are you trying to pretend you don't know me? That you didn't message me to meet you here?"

She laughed. A chauffeur appeared at her elbow, and she twisted out of her coat, revealing a dress made in great splashy checks of sea-blue and gray. She shook herself like a wet bird.

She laughed. A chauffeur appeared beside her, and she twisted out of her coat, showing off a dress with bold sea-blue and gray checks. She shook herself like a drenched bird.

"I've got a lot of junk to declare," she remarked absently.

"I have a lot of stuff to declare," she said absentmindedly.

"So have I," said Chestnut anxiously, "and the first thing I want to declare is that I've loved you, Rags, every minute since you've been away."

"So have I," Chestnut said anxiously, "and the first thing I want to say is that I've loved you, Rags, every minute since you’ve been gone."

She stopped him with a groan.

She stopped him with a sigh.

"Please! There were some young Americans on the boat. The subject has become a bore."

"Please! There were some young Americans on the boat. This topic has become boring."

"My God!" cried Chestnut, "do you mean to say that you class my love with what was said to you on a boat?"

"My God!" exclaimed Chestnut, "are you really saying that you compare my love to what was said to you on a boat?"

His voice had risen, and several people in the vicinity turned to hear.

His voice had gone up, and a few people nearby turned to listen.

"Sh!" she warned him, "I'm not giving a circus. If you want me to even see you while I'm here, you'll have to be less violent."

"Sh!" she cautioned him, "I'm not putting on a show. If you want me to even look at you while I'm here, you'll need to tone it down."

But John M. Chestnut seemed unable to control his voice.

But John M. Chestnut couldn't seem to control his voice.

"Do you mean to say"—it trembled to a carrying pitch—"that you've forgotten what you said on this very pier five years ago last Thursday?"

"Are you really saying"—it rose to a sharp tone—"that you’ve forgotten what you said on this very pier five years ago last Thursday?"

Half the passengers from the ship were now watching the scene on the dock, and another little eddy drifted out of the customs-house to see.

Half the passengers from the ship were now watching the scene on the dock, and another small group drifted out of the customs house to check it out.

"John"—her displeasure was increasing—"if you raise your voice again I'll arrange it so you'll have plenty of chance to cool off. I'm going to the Ritz. Come and see me there this afternoon."

"John"—her frustration was growing—"if you yell again, I'll make sure you have plenty of time to calm down. I'm heading to the Ritz. Come see me there this afternoon."

"But, Rags!" he protested hoarsely. "Listen to me. Five years ago——"

"But, Rags!" he protested hoarsely. "Listen to me. Five years ago——"

Then the watchers on the dock were treated to a curious sight. A beautiful lady in a checkered dress of sea-blue and gray took a brisk step forward so that her hands came into contact with an excited young man by her side. The young man retreating instinctively reached back with his foot, but, finding nothing, relapsed gently off the thirty-foot dock and plopped, after a not ungraceful revolution, into the Hudson River.

Then the people on the dock experienced a strange sight. A beautiful woman in a checkered dress of sea-blue and gray stepped forward quickly, making Contact with an excited young man next to her. The young man instinctively stepped back, but when he found nothing behind him, he gently fell off the thirty-foot dock and landed, rather gracefully, in the Hudson River.

A shout of alarm went up, and there was a rush to the edge just as his head appeared above water. He was swimming easily, and, perceiving this, the young lady who had apparently been the cause of the accident leaned over the pier and made a megaphone of her hands.

A shout of alarm rang out, and there was a rush to the edge just as his head popped up above the water. He was swimming effortlessly, and noticing this, the young lady who seemed to have caused the accident leaned over the pier and cupped her hands like a megaphone.

"I'll be in at half past four," she cried.

"I'll be in at 4:30," she shouted.

And with a cheerful wave of her hand, which the engulfed gentleman was unable to return, she adjusted her monocle, threw one haughty glance at the gathered crowd, and walked leisurely from the scene.

And with a cheerful wave of her hand, which the overwhelmed gentleman couldn't reciprocate, she adjusted her monocle, shot a proud glance at the crowd, and casually walked away from the scene.







II

The five dogs, the three maids, and the French orphan were installed in the largest suite at the Ritz, and Rags tumbled lazily into a steaming bath, fragrant with herbs, where she dozed for the greater part of an hour. At the end of that time she received business calls from a masseuse, a manicure, and finally a Parisian hair-dresser, who restored her hair-cut to criminal's length. When John M. Chestnut arrived at four he found half a dozen lawyers and bankers, the administrators of the Martin-Jones trust fund, waiting in the hall. They had been there since half past one, and were now in a state of considerable agitation.

The five dogs, three maids, and the French orphan were settled into the largest suite at the Ritz, and Rags lazily slipped into a steaming bath filled with fragrant herbs, where she dozed for most of an hour. After that, she took business calls from a masseuse, a manicurist, and finally a Parisian hairstylist, who gave her a haircut that was dangerously short. When John M. Chestnut arrived at four, he found half a dozen lawyers and bankers, the administrators of the Martin-Jones trust fund, waiting in the hallway. They had been there since 1:30 and were now quite agitated.

After one of the maids had subjected him to a severe scrutiny, possibly to be sure that he was thoroughly dry, John was conducted immediately into the presence of m'selle. M'selle was in her bedroom reclining on the chaise-longue among two dozen silk pillows that had accompanied her from the other side. John came into the room somewhat stiffly and greeted her with a formal bow.

After one of the maids had given him a thorough check, probably to ensure he was completely dry, John was quickly taken into m'selle's presence. M'selle was in her bedroom lounging on the chaise-longue surrounded by two dozen silk pillows that had come with her from across the sea. John entered the room a bit rigidly and greeted her with a formal bow.

"You look better," she said, raising herself from her pillows and staring at him appraisingly. "It gave you a color."

"You look better," she said, propping herself up on her pillows and looking at him critically. "It gave you some color."

He thanked her coldly for the compliment.

He thanked her coolly for the compliment.

"You ought to go in every morning." And then she added irrelevantly: "I'm going back to Paris to-morrow."

"You should go in every morning." Then she added casually, "I'm heading back to Paris tomorrow."

John Chestnut gasped.

John Chestnut gasped.

"I wrote you that I didn't intend to stay more than a week anyhow," she added.

"I told you that I didn't plan to stay more than a week anyway," she added.

"But, Rags——"

"But, Rags—"

"Why should I? There isn't an amusing man in New York."

"Why should I? There isn't a fun guy in New York."

"But listen, Rags, won't you give me a chance? Won't you stay for, say, ten days and get to know me a little?"

"But listen, Rags, will you give me a chance? Will you stay for, say, ten days and get to know me a bit?"

"Know you!" Her tone implied that he was already a far too open book. "I want a man who's capable of a gallant gesture."

"Just so you know!" Her tone suggested that he was already an open book. "I want a man who's capable of a bold gesture."

"Do you mean you want me to express myself entirely in pantomime?"

"Are you saying you want me to communicate completely through gestures?"

Rags uttered a disgusted sigh.

Rags let out a disgusted sigh.

"I mean you haven't any imagination," she explained patiently. "No Americans have any imagination. Paris is the only large city where a civilized woman can breathe."

"I mean you have no imagination," she said patiently. "No Americans have any imagination. Paris is the only big city where a cultured woman can breathe."

"Don't you care for me at all any more?"

"Don't you care about me at all anymore?"

"I wouldn't have crossed the Atlantic to see you if I didn't. But as soon as I looked over the Americans on the boat, I knew I couldn't marry one. I'd just hate you, John, and the only fun I'd have out of it would be the fun of breaking your heart."

"I wouldn’t have crossed the Atlantic to see you if I didn’t mean it. But as soon as I looked around at the Americans on the boat, I knew I couldn’t marry one. I’d just end up hating you, John, and the only enjoyment I’d get out of it would be the satisfaction of breaking your heart."

She began to twist herself down among the cushions until she almost disappeared from view.

She started to sink down into the cushions until she was almost out of sight.

"I've lost my monocle," she explained.

"I've lost my glasses," she explained.

After an unsuccessful search in the silken depths she discovered the illusive glass hanging down the back of her neck.

After a failed search in the silky depths, she found the elusive glass dangling down the back of her neck.

"I'd love to be in love," she went on, replacing the monocle in her childish eye. "Last spring in Sorrento I almost eloped with an Indian rajah, but he was half a shade too dark, and I took an intense dislike to one of his other wives."

"I'd love to be in love," she continued, putting the monocle back in her youthful eye. "Last spring in Sorrento, I almost ran away with an Indian rajah, but he was just a bit too dark for my liking, and I really didn't like one of his other wives."

"Don't talk that rubbish!" cried John, sinking his face into his hands.

"Don't say that nonsense!" John shouted, burying his face in his hands.

"Well, I didn't marry him," she protested. "But in one way he had a lot to offer. He was the third richest subject of the British Empire. That's another thing—are you rich?"

"Well, I didn't marry him," she said defensively. "But in some ways, he had a lot to provide. He was the third richest person in the British Empire. By the way—are you wealthy?"

"Not as rich as you."

"Not as wealthy as you."

"There you are. What have you to offer me?"

"There you are. What do you have to offer me?"

"Love."

"Love."

"Love!" She disappeared again among the cushions. "Listen, John. Life to me is a series of glistening bazaars with a merchant in front of each one rubbing his hands together and saying 'Patronize this place here. Best bazaar in the world.' So I go in with my purse full of beauty and money and youth, all prepared to buy. 'What have you got for sale?' I ask him, and he rubs his hands together and says: 'Well, Mademoiselle, to-day we have some perfectly be-oo-tiful love.' Sometimes he hasn't even got that in stock, but he sends out for it when he finds I have so much money to spend. Oh, he always gives me love before I go—and for nothing. That's the one revenge I have."

"Love!" She vanished again among the cushions. "Listen, John. To me, life is like a series of dazzling markets, with a vendor in front of each one rubbing his hands together and saying, 'Check out this place here. Best market in the world.' So I walk in with my purse full of beauty, cash, and youth, all set to buy. 'What do you have for sale?' I ask him, and he rubs his hands together and says: 'Well, Miss, today we have some absolutely gorgeous love.' Sometimes he doesn't even have that in stock, but he gets it shipped in when he sees I have plenty of money to spend. Oh, he always gives me love before I leave—and for free. That's my only revenge."

John Chestnut rose despairingly to his feet and took a step toward the window.

John Chestnut stood up in despair and took a step toward the window.

"Don't throw yourself out," Rags exclaimed quickly.

"Don't throw yourself out," Rags said quickly.

"All right." He tossed his cigarette down into Madison Avenue.

"Okay." He tossed his cigarette onto Madison Avenue.

"It isn't just you," she said in a softer voice. "Dull and uninspired as you are, I care for you more than I can say. But life's so endless here. Nothing ever comes off."

"It’s not just you," she said softly. "Boring and unmotivated as you are, I care about you more than I can express. But life feels so endless here. Nothing ever happens."

"Loads of things come off," he insisted. "Why, to-day there was an intellectual murder in Hoboken and a suicide by proxy in Maine. A bill to sterilize agnostics is before Congress——"

"Lots of things happen," he insisted. "Today there was an intellectual murder in Hoboken and a suicide by proxy in Maine. A bill to sterilize agnostics is in front of Congress——"

"I have no interest in humor," she objected, "but I have an almost archaic predilection for romance. Why, John, last month I sat at a dinner-table while two men flipped a coin for the kingdom of Schwartzberg-Rhineminster. In Paris I knew a man named Blutchdak who really started the war, and has a new one planned for year after next."

"I’m not into humor," she said, "but I have a pretty old-fashioned love for romance. I mean, John, last month I was at a dinner where two guys flipped a coin for the kingdom of Schwartzberg-Rhineminster. In Paris, I knew a guy named Blutchdak who actually started the war, and he’s planning a new one for the year after next."

"Well, just for a rest you come out with me to-night," he said doggedly.

"Well, just to take a break, come out with me tonight," he said stubbornly.

"Where to?" demanded Rags with scorn. "Do you think I still thrill at a night-club and a bottle of sugary mousseaux? I prefer my own gaudy dreams."

"Where to?" Rags scoffed. "Do you really think I still get excited about a nightclub and a bottle of sweet sparkling wine? I’d rather stick to my own flashy dreams."

"I'll take you to the most highly-strung place in the city."

"I'll take you to the most high-energy place in the city."

"What'll happen? You've got to tell me what'll happen."

"What’s going to happen? You have to tell me what’s going to happen."

John Chestnut suddenly drew a long breath and looked cautiously around as if he were afraid of being overheard.

John Chestnut suddenly took a deep breath and glanced around cautiously, as if he was worried about being overheard.

"Well, to tell you the truth," he said in a low, worried tone, "if everything was known, something pretty awful would be liable to happen to me."

"Honestly," he said in a low, worried tone, "if everything were known, something pretty terrible could happen to me."

She sat upright and the pillows tumbled about her like leaves.

She sat up straight and the pillows scattered around her like leaves.

"Do you mean to imply that there's anything shady in your life?" she cried, with laughter in her voice. "Do you expect me to believe that? No, John, you'll have your fun by plugging ahead on the beaten path—just plugging ahead."

"Are you trying to say there’s something sketchy going on in your life?" she exclaimed, her voice filled with laughter. "Do you really think I’ll believe that? No, John, you'll keep having your fun by just moving forward on the usual path—just moving forward."

Her mouth, a small insolent rose, dropped the words on him like thorns. John took his hat and coat from the chair and picked up his cane.

Her mouth, a little defiant rose, tossed the words at him like thorns. John grabbed his hat and coat from the chair and picked up his cane.

"For the last time—will you come along with me to-night and see what you will see?"

"For the last time—will you come with me tonight and see what you’ll see?"

"See what? See who? Is there anything in this country worth seeing?"

"See what? See who? Is there anything in this country worth looking at?"

"Well," he said, in a matter-of-fact tone, "for one thing you'll see the Prince of Wales."

"Well," he said, in a straightforward tone, "for one thing, you'll see the Prince of Wales."

"What?" She left the chaise-longue at a bound. "Is he back in New York?"

"What?" She jumped up from the chaise lounge. "Is he back in New York?"

"He will be to-night. Would you care to see him?"

"He'll be here tonight. Do you want to see him?"

"Would I? I've never seen him. I've missed him everywhere. I'd give a year of my life to see him for an hour." Her voice trembled with excitement.

"Would I? I've never seen him. I've missed him everywhere. I'd give a year of my life to see him for an hour." Her voice shook with excitement.

"He's been in Canada. He's down here incognito for the big prize-fight this afternoon. And I happen to know where he's going to be to-night."

"He's been in Canada. He's here incognito for the big fight this afternoon. And I happen to know where he'll be tonight."

Rags gave a sharp ecstatic cry:

Rags let out a loud, joyful shout:

"Dominic! Louise! Germaine!"

"Dom! Lou! Germ!"

The three maids came running. The room filled suddenly with vibrations of wild, startled light.

The three maids came rushing in. The room was suddenly filled with bursts of wild, startled light.

"Dominic, the car!" cried Rags in French. "St. Raphael, my gold dress and the slippers with the real gold heels. The big pearls too—all the pearls, and the egg-diamond and the stockings with the sapphire clocks. Germaine—send for a beauty-parlor on the run. My bath again—ice cold and half full of almond cream. Dominic—Tiffany's, like lightning, before they close. Find me a brooch, a pendant, a tiara, anything—it doesn't matter—with the arms of the house of Windsor."

"Dominic, the car!" yelled Rags in French. "St. Raphael, my gold dress and the slippers with real gold heels. The big pearls too—all the pearls, and the egg-diamond and the stockings with sapphire clocks. Germaine—get a beauty salon on the way. My bath again—ice cold and half full of almond cream. Dominic—Tiffany's, quick, before they close. Find me a brooch, a pendant, a tiara, anything—it doesn’t matter—using the arms of the house of Windsor."

She was fumbling at the buttons of her dress—and as John turned quickly to go, it was already sliding from her shoulders.

She was struggling with the buttons of her dress—and as John turned quickly to leave, it was already slipping off her shoulders.

"Orchids!" she called after him, "orchids, for the love of heaven! Four dozen, so I can choose four."

"Orchids!" she shouted after him, "orchids, for heaven's sake! Four dozen, so I can pick out four."

And then maids flew here and there about the room like frightened birds. "Perfume, St. Raphael, open the perfume trunk, and my rose-colored sables, and my diamond garters, and the sweet-oil for my hands! Here, take these things! This too—and this—ouch!—and this!"

And then the maids rushed around the room like scared birds. "Perfume, St. Raphael, open the perfume trunk, and my pink sables, and my diamond garters, and the scented oil for my hands! Here, take these things! This one too—and this—ouch!—and this!"

With becoming modesty John Chestnut closed the outside door. The six trustees in various postures of fatigue, of ennui, of resignation, of despair, were still cluttering up the outer hall.

With quiet modesty, John Chestnut closed the front door. The six trustees, showing various signs of exhaustion, boredom, resignation, and despair, were still lingering in the outer hall.

"Gentlemen," announced John Chestnut, "I fear that Miss Martin-Jones is much too weary from her trip to talk to you this afternoon."

"Gentlemen," John Chestnut said, "I'm afraid that Miss Martin-Jones is too tired from her trip to speak with you this afternoon."







III

"This place, for no particular reason, is called the Hole in the Sky."

"This place, for no specific reason, is called the Hole in the Sky."

Rags looked around her. They were on a roof-garden wide open to the April night. Overhead the true stars winked cold, and there was a lunar sliver of ice in the dark west. But where they stood it was warm as June, and the couples dining or dancing on the opaque glass floor were unconcerned with the forbidding sky.

Rags looked around her. They were on a rooftop garden wide open to the April night. Overhead, the real stars twinkled coldly, and there was a thin sliver of moonlight in the dark west. But where they stood, it felt as warm as June, and the couples dining or dancing on the frosted glass floor were unfazed by the ominous sky.

"What makes it so warm?" she whispered as they moved toward a table.

"What makes it so warm?" she whispered as they walked over to a table.

"It's some new invention that keeps the warm air from rising. I don't know the principle of the thing, but I know that they can keep it open like this even in the middle of winter—"

"It's a new invention that prevents warm air from rising. I don't understand how it works, but I know they can keep it open like this even in the middle of winter—"

"Where's the Prince of Wales?" she demanded tensely.

"Where's the Prince of Wales?" she asked anxiously.

John looked around.

John scanned the area.

"He hasn't arrived yet. He won't be here for about half an hour."

"He hasn't gotten here yet. He won't be here for about thirty minutes."

She sighed profoundly.

She sighed deeply.

"It's the first time I've been excited in four years."

"It's the first time I've felt excited in four years."

Four years—one year less than he had loved her. He wondered if when she was sixteen, a wild lovely child, sitting up all night in restaurants with officers who were to leave for Brest next day, losing the glamour of life too soon in the old, sad, poignant days of the war, she had ever been so lovely as under these amber lights and this dark sky. From her excited eyes to her tiny slipper heels, which were striped with layers of real silver and gold, she was like one of those amazing ships that are carved complete in a bottle. She was finished with that delicacy, with that care; as though the long lifetime of some worker in fragility had been used to make her so. John Chestnut wanted to take her up in his hands, turn her this way and that, examine the tip of a slipper or the tip of an ear or squint closely at the fairy stuff from which her lashes were made.

Four years—one year less than he had loved her. He wondered if when she was sixteen, a wild and beautiful girl, staying up all night in restaurants with officers who were leaving for Brest the next day, losing the magic of life too soon in the old, sad, bittersweet days of the war, she had ever looked as stunning as she did under these amber lights and this dark sky. From her excited eyes to her tiny slipper heels, which were embellished with layers of real silver and gold, she resembled one of those incredible ships intricately carved inside a bottle. She was created with such delicacy and care; as if the entire lifetime of some craftsman dedicated to fragility had gone into making her. John Chestnut wanted to lift her in his hands, turn her this way and that, examine the tip of a slipper or the edge of an ear, or take a close look at the magical material her lashes were made from.

"Who's that?" She pointed suddenly to a handsome Latin at a table over the way.

"Who’s that?" She suddenly pointed to a good-looking Latino at a table across the way.

"That's Roderigo Minerlino, the movie and face-cream star. Perhaps he'll dance after a while."

"That's Roderigo Minerlino, the movie and face cream star. Maybe he'll dance soon."

Rags became suddenly aware of the sound of violins and drums, but the music seemed to come from far away, seemed to float over the crisp night and on to the floor with the added remoteness of a dream.

Rags suddenly noticed the sound of violins and drums, but the music felt distant, as if it floated over the cool night and reached the floor with the detachment of a dream.

"The orchestra's on another roof," explained John. "It's a new idea— Look, the entertainment's beginning."

"The orchestra's on another roof," John explained. "It's a new concept— Look, the show's starting."

A negro girl, thin as a reed, emerged suddenly from a masked entrance into a circle of harsh barbaric light, startled the music to a wild minor, and commenced to sing a rhythmic, tragic song. The pipe of her body broke abruptly and she began a slow incessant step, without progress and without hope, like the failure of a savage insufficient dream. She had lost Papa Jack, she cried over and over with a hysterical monotony at once despairing and unreconciled. One by one the loud horns tried to force her from the steady beat of madness but she listened only to the mutter of the drums which were isolating her in some lost place in time, among many thousand forgotten years. After the failure of the piccolo, she made herself again into a thin brown line, wailed once with sharp and terrible intensity, then vanished into sudden darkness.

A Black girl, as thin as a reed, suddenly appeared from a masked entrance into a bright, harsh circle of light, startling the music into a wild minor key, and began to sing a rhythmic, tragic song. The shape of her body broke abruptly and she started a slow, unending step, without moving forward and without hope, like the failure of a brutal, insufficient dream. She kept crying out for Papa Jack, over and over, with a hysterical monotony that was both desperate and unresolved. One by one, the loud horns tried to pull her from the steady beat of madness, but she paid attention only to the murmur of the drums, which were isolating her in some lost time, among countless forgotten years. After the piccolo failed, she again became a thin brown line, let out a sharp, terrible wail, and then disappeared into sudden darkness.

"If you lived in New York you wouldn't need to be told who she is," said John when the amber light flashed on. "The next fella is Sheik B. Smith, a comedian of the fatuous, garrulous sort——"

"If you lived in New York, you wouldn't need to be told who she is," John said as the amber light flashed on. "The next guy is Sheik B. Smith, a comedian who's kind of silly and talks a lot——"

He broke off. Just as the lights went down for the second number Rags had given a long sigh, and leaned forward tensely in her chair. Her eyes were rigid like the eyes of a pointer dog, and John saw that they were fixed on a party that had come through a side entrance, and were arranging themselves around a table in the half-darkness.

He paused. Just as the lights dimmed for the second act, Rags let out a long sigh and leaned forward tensely in her seat. Her eyes were as stiff as a pointer dog's, and John noticed they were locked on a group that had entered through a side door and were settling around a table in the dim light.

The table was shielded with palms, and Rags at first made out only three dim forms. Then she distinguished a fourth who seemed to be placed well behind the other three—a pale oval of a face topped with a glimmer of dark-yellow hair.

The table was covered with palms, and Rags initially saw only three dim shapes. Then she noticed a fourth figure standing well behind the other three—a pale oval face with a glimmer of dark-yellow hair on top.

"Hello!" ejaculated John. "There's his majesty now."

"Hello!" John exclaimed. "That's his majesty right there."

Her breath seemed to die murmurously in her throat. She was dimly aware that the comedian was now standing in a glow of white light on the dancing floor, that he had been talking for some moments, and that there was a constant ripple of laughter in the air. But her eyes remained motionless, enchanted. She saw one of the party bend and whisper to another, and after the low glitter of a match the bright button of a cigarette end gleamed in the background. How long it was before she moved she did not know. Then something seemed to happen to her eyes, something white, something terribly urgent, and she wrenched about sharply to find herself full in the centre of a baby spot-light from above. She became aware that words were being said to her from somewhere, and that a quick trail of laughter was circling the roof, but the light blinded her, and instinctively she made a half-movement from her chair.

Her breath seemed to fade quietly in her throat. She was vaguely aware that the comedian was now standing in a bright white light on the dance floor, that he had been talking for a little while, and that there was a constant ripple of laughter in the air. But her eyes remained still, captivated. She saw one person from the party lean in and whisper to another, and after the soft flicker of a match, the glowing tip of a cigarette shone in the background. She had no idea how long it was before she moved. Then something seemed to happen to her eyes, something bright, something desperately urgent, and she suddenly turned to find herself fully in the center of a spotlight from above. She became aware that someone was saying something to her from somewhere, and that a quick wave of laughter was circling overhead, but the light blinded her, and instinctively, she made a slight movement from her chair.

"Sit still!" John was whispering across the table. "He picks somebody out for this every night."

"Stay still!" John was whispering across the table. "He chooses someone for this every night."

Then she realized—it was the comedian, Sheik B. Smith. He was talking to her, arguing with her—about something that seemed incredibly funny to every one else, but came to her ears only as a blur of muddled sound. Instinctively she had composed her face at the first shock of the light and now she smiled. It was a gesture of rare self-possession. Into this smile she insinuated a vast impersonality, as if she were unconscious of the light, unconscious of his attempt to play upon her loveliness—but amused at an infinitely removed him, whose darts might have been thrown just as successfully at the moon. She was no longer a "lady"—a lady would have been harsh or pitiful or absurd; Rags stripped her attitude to a sheer consciousness of her own impervious beauty, sat there glittering until the comedian began to feel alone as he had never felt alone before. At a signal from him the spot-light was switched suddenly out. The moment was over.

Then she realized—it was the comedian, Sheik B. Smith. He was talking to her, arguing with her—about something that seemed incredibly funny to everyone else, but to her, it was just a jumble of noise. Instinctively, she had composed her face at the first shock of the light, and now she smiled. It was a gesture of rare self-control. In that smile, she included a sense of vast indifference, as if she were unaware of the light, unaware of his attempt to charm her beauty—but amused by an infinitely distant him, whose jabs might as well have been thrown at the moon. She was no longer a "lady"—a lady would have been harsh, pitiful, or absurd; Rags stripped her attitude down to a sheer awareness of her own unyielding beauty, sitting there shining until the comedian began to feel more alone than he had ever felt before. At his signal, the spotlight was suddenly turned off. The moment was over.

The moment was over, the comedian left the floor, and the far-away music began. John leaned toward her.

The moment was over, the comedian left the stage, and the distant music started. John leaned toward her.

"I'm sorry. There really wasn't anything to do. You were wonderful."

"I'm sorry. There wasn't really anything to be done. You were amazing."

She dismissed the incident with a casual laugh—then she started, there were now only two men sitting at the table across the floor.

She shrugged off the incident with a casual laugh—then she noticed that only two men were now sitting at the table across the room.

"He's gone!" she exclaimed in quick distress.

"He's gone!" she said in a quick panic.

"Don't worry—he'll be back. He's got to be awfully careful, you see, so he's probably waiting outside with one of his aides until it gets dark again."

"Don't worry—he'll be back. He has to be really cautious, you know, so he's probably hanging out outside with one of his assistants until it gets dark again."

"Why has he got to be careful?"

"Why does he have to be careful?"

"Because he's not supposed to be in New York. He's even under one of his second-string names."

"Because he shouldn't be in New York. He's even using one of his backup names."

The lights dimmed again, and almost immediately a tall man appeared out of the darkness and approached their table.

The lights dimmed once more, and almost immediately a tall man emerged from the darkness and walked over to their table.

"May I introduce myself?" he said rapidly to John in a supercilious British voice. "Lord Charles Este, of Baron Marchbanks' party." He glanced at John closely as if to be sure that he appreciated the significance of the name.

"Can I introduce myself?" he said quickly to John in an arrogant British accent. "Lord Charles Este, from Baron Marchbanks' party." He looked at John intently, as if to make sure he understood the importance of the name.

John nodded.

John agreed.

"That is between ourselves, you understand."

"That's between us, you know?"

"Of course."

"Sure."

Rags groped on the table for her untouched champagne, and tipped the glassful down her throat.

Rags fumbled for her untouched champagne on the table and downed the glass in one go.

"Baron Marchbanks requests that your companion will join his party during this number."

"Baron Marchbanks asks that your guest joins his group during this event."

Both men looked at Rags. There was a moment's pause.

Both men stared at Rags. There was a brief pause.

"Very well," she said, and glanced back again interrogatively at John. Again he nodded. She rose and with her heart beating wildly threaded the tables, making the half-circuit of the room; then melted, a slim figure in shimmering gold, into the table set in half-darkness.

"Alright," she said, glancing back at John with a questioning look. He nodded again. She stood up, her heart racing, and navigated through the tables, making her way around the room; then she blended in, a slender figure in sparkling gold, at the table cloaked in dim light.







IV

The number drew to a close, and John Chestnut sat alone at his table, stirring auxiliary bubbles in his glass of champagne. Just before the lights went on, there was a soft rasp of gold cloth, and Rags, flushed and breathing quickly, sank into her chair. Her eyes were shining with tears.

The performance ended, and John Chestnut sat by himself at his table, swirling the bubbles in his glass of champagne. Just before the lights came on, there was a faint rustle of gold fabric, and Rags, flushed and breathing hard, collapsed into her chair. Her eyes were glistening with tears.

John looked at her moodily.

John gazed at her gloomily.

"Well, what did he say?"

"Okay, what did he say?"

"He was very quiet."

"He was really quiet."

"Didn't he say a word?"

"Didn't he say anything?"

Her hand trembled as she took up her glass of champagne.

Her hand shook as she picked up her glass of champagne.

"He just looked at me while it was dark. And he said a few conventional things. He was like his pictures, only he looks very bored and tired. He didn't even ask my name."

"He just stared at me in the dark. Then he said a few typical things. He was like his photos, but he looked really bored and exhausted. He didn't even ask for my name."

"Is he leaving New York to-night?"

"Is he leaving New York tonight?"

"In half an hour. He and his aides have a car outside, and they expect to be over the border before dawn."

"In half an hour. He and his team have a car waiting outside, and they plan to be across the border before dawn."

"Did you find him—fascinating?"

"Did you find him interesting?"

She hesitated and then slowly nodded her head.

She hesitated and then slowly nodded.

"That's what everybody says," admitted John glumly. "Do they expect you back there?"

"That's what everyone says," John admitted sadly. "Do they expect you back there?"

"I don't know." She looked uncertainly across the floor but the celebrated personage had again withdrawn from his table to some retreat outside. As she turned back an utterly strange young man who had been standing for a moment in the main entrance came toward them hurriedly. He was a deathly pale person in a dishevelled and inappropriate business suit, and he had laid a trembling hand on John Chestnut's shoulder.

"I don't know." She glanced hesitantly across the floor, but the famous figure had once again stepped away from his table to some spot outside. When she turned back, an entirely unfamiliar young man who had been standing in the main entrance rushed toward them. He was extremely pale, wearing a messy and unsuitable business suit, and he had placed a shaking hand on John Chestnut's shoulder.

"Monte!" exclaimed John, starting up so suddenly that he upset his champagne. "What is it? What's the matter?"

"Monte!" John shouted, jumping up so suddenly that he spilled his champagne. "What’s going on? What's wrong?"

"They've picked up the trail!" said the young man in a shaken whisper. He looked around. "I've got to speak to you alone."

"They've found the trail!" said the young man in a shaky whisper. He glanced around. "I need to talk to you privately."

John Chestnut jumped to his feet, and Rags noticed that his face too had become white as the napkin in his hand. He excused himself and they retreated to an unoccupied table a few feet away. Rags watched them curiously for a moment, then she resumed her scrutiny of the table across the floor. Would she be asked to come back? The prince had simply risen and bowed and gone outside. Perhaps she should have waited until he returned, but though she was still tense with excitement she had, to some extent, become Rags Martin-Jones again. Her curiosity was satisfied—any new urge must come from him. She wondered if she had really felt an intrinsic charm—she wondered especially if he had in any marked way responded to her beauty.

John Chestnut jumped to his feet, and Rags noticed that his face had turned as white as the napkin in his hand. He excused himself, and they moved to an empty table a few feet away. Rags watched them with curiosity for a moment before she went back to observing the table across the room. Would she be asked to come back? The prince had simply stood up, bowed, and gone outside. Maybe she should have waited until he returned, but even though she was still buzzing with excitement, she had, to some extent, become Rags Martin-Jones again. Her curiosity was satisfied—any new feelings would have to come from him. She wondered if she had actually felt a genuine charm—she especially wondered if he had noticeably reacted to her beauty.

The pale person called Monte disappeared and John returned to the table. Rags was startled to find that a tremendous change had come over him. He lurched into his chair like a drunken man.

The pale person named Monte vanished and John went back to the table. Rags was shocked to see that a huge change had taken place in him. He fell into his chair like a drunk.

"John! What's the matter?"

"John! What's wrong?"

Instead of answering, he reached for the champagne bottle, but his fingers were trembling so that the splattered wine made a wet yellow ring around his glass.

Instead of answering, he grabbed the champagne bottle, but his fingers were shaking so much that the spilled wine created a wet yellow ring around his glass.

"Are you sick?"

"Are you feeling unwell?"

"Rags," he said unsteadily, "I'm all through."

"Rags," he said shakily, "I'm done."

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm all through, I tell you." He managed a sickly smile. "There's been a warrant out for me for over an hour."

"I'm done, I swear." He forced a weak smile. "There's been a warrant out for me for over an hour."

"What have you done?" she demanded in a frightened voice. "What's the warrant for?"

"What have you done?" she asked, her voice shaking with fear. "What's the warrant for?"

The lights went out for the next number, and he collapsed suddenly over the table.

The lights went out for the next act, and he suddenly slumped over the table.

"What is it?" she insisted, with rising apprehension. She leaned forward—his answer was barely audible.

"What is it?" she pressed, feeling more anxious. She leaned in—his answer was barely audible.

"Murder?" She could feel her body grow cold as ice.

"Murder?" She felt her body go cold as ice.

He nodded. She took hold of both arms and tried to shake him upright, as one shakes a coat into place. His eyes were rolling in his head.

He nodded. She grabbed both his arms and tried to shake him upright, like you shake a coat into place. His eyes were rolling in his head.

"Is it true? Have they got proof?"

"Is it true? Do they have evidence?"

Again he nodded drunkenly.

Again, he nodded tipsily.

"Then you've got to get out of the country now! Do you understand, John? You've got to get out now, before they come looking for you here!"

"Then you need to leave the country right now! Do you get it, John? You have to get out now, before they start searching for you here!"

He loosed a wild glance of terror toward the entrance.

He shot a panicked look toward the entrance.

"Oh, God!" cried Rags, "why don't you do something?" Her eyes strayed here and there in desperation, became suddenly fixed. She drew in her breath sharply, hesitated, and then whispered fiercely into his ear.

"Oh, God!" Rags exclaimed, "why don’t you do something?" Her eyes scanned around in desperation before suddenly locking onto something. She took a sharp breath, hesitated, and then fiercely whispered into his ear.

"If I arrange it, will you go to Canada to-night?"

"If I set it up, will you go to Canada tonight?"

"How?"

"How?"

"I'll arrange it—if you'll pull yourself together a little. This is Rags talking to you, don't you understand, John? I want you to sit here and not move until I come back!"

"I'll take care of it—if you can just get it together a bit. This is Rags talking to you, don’t you get it, John? I need you to sit here and not move until I get back!"

A minute later she had crossed the room under cover of the darkness.

A minute later, she had crossed the room in the darkness.

"Baron Marchbanks," she whispered softly, standing just behind his chair.

"Baron Marchbanks," she whispered quietly, standing right behind his chair.

He motioned her to sit down.

He gestured for her to take a seat.

"Have you room in your car for two more passengers to-night?"

"Do you have room in your car for two more passengers tonight?"

One of the aides turned around abruptly.

One of the assistants turned around suddenly.

"His lordship's car is full," he said shortly.

"His lordship's car is full," he said briefly.

"It's terribly urgent." Her voice was trembling.

"It's really urgent." Her voice was shaking.

"Well," said the prince hesitantly, "I don't know."

"Well," the prince said hesitantly, "I have no idea."

Lord Charles Este looked at the prince and shook his head.

Lord Charles Este looked at the prince and shook his head.

"I don't think it's advisable. This is a ticklish business anyhow with contrary orders from home. You know we agreed there'd be no complications."

"I don't think it's a good idea. This is a tricky situation anyway with conflicting orders from headquarters. You know we agreed there wouldn't be any complications."

The prince frowned.

The prince made a face.

"This isn't a complication," he objected.

"This isn't a problem," he argued.

Este turned frankly to Rags.

Este turned openly to Rags.

"Why is it urgent?"

"Why is it important?"

Rags hesitated.

Rags paused.

"Why"—she flushed suddenly—"it's a runaway marriage."

"Why"—she blushed suddenly—"it's a runaway marriage."

The prince laughed.

The prince chuckled.

"Good!" he exclaimed. "That settles it. Este is just being official. Bring him over right away. We're leaving shortly, what?"

"Great!" he said. "That decides it. Este is just covering his bases. Bring him here right now. We're leaving soon, okay?"

Este looked at his watch.

Este checked his watch.

"Right now!"

"Right now!"

Rags rushed away. She wanted to move the whole party from the roof while the lights were still down.

Rags hurried off. She wanted to move the entire party from the roof while the lights were still off.

"Hurry!" she cried in John's ear. "We're going over the border—with the Prince of Wales. You'll be safe by morning."

"Hurry!" she shouted in John's ear. "We're crossing the border—with the Prince of Wales. You'll be safe by morning."

He looked up at her with dazed eyes. She hurriedly paid the check, and seizing his arm piloted him as inconspicuously as possible to the other table, where she introduced him with a word. The prince acknowledged his presence by shaking hands—the aides nodded, only faintly concealing their displeasure.

He looked at her with hazy eyes. She quickly paid the bill and grabbed his arm, guiding him as discreetly as she could to the other table, where she introduced him with a single word. The prince recognized him with a handshake—the aides nodded, only slightly hiding their annoyance.

"We'd better start," said Este, looking impatiently at his watch.

"We should get going," Este said, glancing impatiently at his watch.

They were on their feet when suddenly an exclamation broke from all of them—two policemen and a red-haired man in plain clothes had come in at the main door.

They were standing up when suddenly everyone shouted—two police officers and a red-haired man in casual clothes had walked in through the main door.

"Out we go," breathed Este, impelling the party toward the side entrance. "There's going to be some kind of riot here." He swore—two more bluecoats barred the exit there. They paused uncertainly. The plain-clothes man was beginning a careful inspection of the people at the tables.

"Let's go," Este said, pushing the group toward the side entrance. "There's about to be a riot here." He cursed—two more cops were blocking the exit. They hesitated, unsure. The plainclothes officer was starting a careful check of the people at the tables.

Este looked sharply at Rags and then at John, who shrank back behind the palms.

Este looked intently at Rags and then at John, who recoiled behind the palms.

"Is that one of your revenue fellas out there?" demanded Este.

"Is that one of your revenue guys out there?" Este asked.

"No," whispered Rags. "There's going to be trouble. Can't we get out this entrance?"

"No," whispered Rags. "There's going to be trouble. Can’t we use this exit?"

The prince with rising impatience sat down again in his chair.

The prince, feeling more impatient, sat back down in his chair.

"Let me know when you chaps are ready to go." He smiled at Rags. "Now just suppose we all get in trouble just for that jolly face of yours."

"Let me know when you guys are ready to go." He smiled at Rags. "Now just imagine if we all got into trouble because of that cheerful face of yours."

Then suddenly the lights went up. The plain-clothes man whirled around quickly and sprang to the middle of the cabaret floor.

Then suddenly the lights turned on. The undercover officer spun around quickly and jumped to the center of the cabaret floor.

"Nobody try to leave this room!" he shouted. "Sit down, that party behind the palms! Is John M. Chestnut in this room?"

"Nobody try to leave this room!" he yelled. "Take a seat, the party behind the palms! Is John M. Chestnut in here?"

Rags gave a short involuntary cry.

Rags let out a quick, unexpected cry.

"Here!" cried the detective to the policeman behind him. "Take a look at that funny bunch across over there. Hands up, you men!"

"Here!" shouted the detective to the officer behind him. "Check out that strange group over there. Hands up, you guys!"

"My God!" whispered Este, "we've got to get out of here!" He turned to the prince. "This won't do, Ted. You can't be seen here. I'll stall them off while you get down to the car."

"My God!" Este whispered, "we need to leave now!" He turned to the prince. "This isn't good, Ted. You can't be seen here. I'll hold them off while you make your way to the car."

He took a step toward the side entrance.

He took a step toward the side door.

"Hands up, there!" shouted the plain-clothes man. "And when I say hands up I mean it! Which one of you's Chestnut?"

"Hands up, there!" shouted the undercover officer. "And when I say hands up, I mean it! Which one of you is Chestnut?"

"You're mad!" cried Este. "We're British subjects. We're not involved in this affair in any way!"

"You're crazy!" shouted Este. "We're British citizens. We have nothing to do with this situation at all!"

A woman screamed somewhere, and there was a general movement toward the elevator, a movement which stopped short before the muzzles of two automatic pistols. A girl next to Rags collapsed in a dead faint to the floor, and at the same moment the music on the other roof began to play.

A woman screamed somewhere, and everyone started moving toward the elevator, but they halted abruptly in front of two automatic pistols. A girl beside Rags fainted and fell to the floor, and at the same moment, the music on the other roof began to play.

"Stop that music!" bellowed the plain-clothes man. "And get some earrings on that whole bunch—quick!"

"Stop that music!" shouted the undercover guy. "And get some earrings on that whole group—hurry up!"

Two policemen advanced toward the party, and simultaneously Este and the other aides drew their revolvers, and, shielding the prince as they best could, began to edge toward the side. A shot rang out and then another, followed by a crash of silver and china as half a dozen diners overturned their tables and dropped quickly behind.

Two police officers made their way toward the party, and at the same time, Este and the other aides pulled out their guns, trying to protect the prince as best as they could while moving to the side. A shot fired, then another, followed by the sound of silver and china crashing as several diners flipped their tables and quickly ducked down.

The panic became general. There were three shots in quick succession, and then a fusillade. Rags saw Este firing coolly at the eight amber lights above, and a thick fume of gray smoke began to fill the air. As a strange undertone to the shouting and screaming came the incessant clamor of the distant jazz band.

The panic spread quickly. There were three shots fired in rapid succession, followed by a barrage of gunfire. Rags saw Este firing calmly at the eight amber lights above, and a thick cloud of gray smoke started to fill the air. Amid the shouting and screaming, there was a strange undertone of a distant jazz band playing continuously.

Then in a moment it was all over. A shrill whistle rang out over the roof, and through the smoke Rags saw John Chestnut advancing toward the plain-clothes man, his hands held out in a gesture of surrender. There was a last nervous cry, a chill clatter as some one inadvertently stepped into a pile of dishes, and then a heavy silence fell on the roof—even the band seemed to have died away.

Then in an instant, it was all over. A sharp whistle echoed across the roof, and through the smoke, Rags saw John Chestnut walking toward the plainclothes officer, his hands raised in surrender. There was one last panicked shout, a cold crash as someone accidentally stepped into a pile of dishes, and then a heavy silence blanketed the roof—even the band seemed to have stopped playing.

"It's all over!" John Chestnut's voice rang out wildly on the night air. "The party's over. Everybody who wants to can go home!"

"It's all over!" John Chestnut's voice echoed frantically in the night air. "The party's done. Anyone who wants to can head home!"

Still there was silence—Rags knew it was the silence of awe—the strain of guilt had driven John Chestnut insane.

Still there was silence—Rags knew it was the silence of awe—the strain of guilt had driven John Chestnut mad.

"It was a great performance," he was shouting. "I want to thank you one and all. If you can find any tables still standing, champagne will be served as long as you care to stay."

"It was an amazing performance," he shouted. "I want to thank each and every one of you. If you can find any tables that are still up, champagne will be served for as long as you want to stick around."

It seemed to Rags that the roof and the high stars suddenly began to swim round and round. She saw John take the detective's hand and shake it heartily, and she watched the detective grin and pocket his gun. The music had recommenced, and the girl who had fainted was suddenly dancing with Lord Charles Este in the corner. John was running here and there patting people on the back, and laughing and shaking hands. Then he was coming toward her, fresh and innocent as a child.

It seemed to Rags that the roof and the bright stars suddenly started to swirl around. She saw John take the detective's hand and shake it enthusiastically, and she watched the detective smile and tuck his gun away. The music had started up again, and the girl who had fainted was suddenly dancing with Lord Charles Este in the corner. John was darting around, giving people pats on the back, laughing, and shaking hands. Then he was coming toward her, looking as fresh and innocent as a child.

"Wasn't it wonderful?" he cried.

"Wasn't it amazing?" he cried.

Rags felt a faintness stealing over her. She groped backward with her hand toward a chair.

Rags felt a wave of dizziness coming over her. She reached back with her hand for a chair.

"What was it?" she cried dazedly. "Am I dreaming?"

"What was that?" she exclaimed in confusion. "Am I dreaming?"

"Of course not! You're wide awake. I made it up, Rags, don't you see? I made up the whole thing for you. I had it invented! The only thing real about it was my name!"

"Of course not! You're fully awake. I made it up, Rags, can't you see? I created the whole thing for you. I had it invented! The only real part was my name!"

She collapsed suddenly against his coat, clung to his lapels, and would have wilted to the floor if he had not caught her quickly in his arms.

She suddenly collapsed against his coat, grabbed his lapels, and would have fallen to the floor if he hadn't quickly caught her in his arms.

"Some champagne—quick!" he called, and then he shouted at the Prince of Wales, who stood near by. "Order my car quick, you! Miss Martin-Jones has fainted from excitement."

"Get some champagne—quick!" he shouted, then yelled at the Prince of Wales, who was standing nearby. "Order my car quickly! Miss Martin-Jones has fainted from excitement."







V

The skyscraper rose bulkily through thirty tiers of windows before it attenuated itself to a graceful sugar-loaf of shining white. Then it darted up again another hundred feet, thinned to a mere oblong tower in its last fragile aspiration toward the sky. At the highest of its high windows Rags Martin-Jones stood full in the stiff breeze, gazing down at the city.

The skyscraper loomed large with thirty levels of windows before tapering off into an elegant, shiny white peak. It shot up another hundred feet, narrowing down to a slender tower in its delicate reach for the sky. At the topmost window, Rags Martin-Jones stood against the strong breeze, looking down at the city.

"Mr. Chestnut wants to know if you'll come right in to his private office."

"Mr. Chestnut wants to know if you can come into his private office."

Obediently her slim feet moved along the carpet into a high, cool chamber overlooking the harbor and the wide sea.

Obediently, her slim feet glided across the carpet into a spacious, cool room that overlooked the harbor and the vast ocean.

John Chestnut sat at his desk, waiting, and Rags walked to him and put her arms around his shoulder.

John Chestnut sat at his desk, waiting, and Rags walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"Are you sure you're real?" she asked anxiously. "Are you absolutely sure?"

"Are you sure you're real?" she asked nervously. "Are you completely sure?"

"You only wrote me a week before you came," he protested modestly, "or I could have arranged a revolution."

"You only wrote to me a week before you arrived," he said modestly, "or I could have organized a revolution."

"Was the whole thing just mine?" she demanded. "Was it a perfectly useless, gorgeous thing, just for me?"

"Was the whole thing just mine?" she asked. "Was it a totally useless, beautiful thing, just for me?"

"Useless?" He considered. "Well, it started out to be. At the last minute I invited a big restaurant man to be there, and while you were at the other table I sold him the whole idea of the night-club."

"Useless?" He thought about it. "Well, it did seem that way at first. At the last minute, I invited a big restaurant owner to join us, and while you were at the other table, I sold him the whole concept of the nightclub."

He looked at his watch.

He checked his watch.

"I've got one more thing to do—and then we've got just time to be married before lunch." He picked up his telephone. "Jackson? ... Send a triplicated cable to Paris, Berlin, and Budapest and have those two bogus dukes who tossed up for Schwartzberg-Rhineminster chased over the Polish border. If the Dutchy won't act, lower the rate of exchange to point triple zero naught two. Also, that idiot Blutchdak is in the Balkans again, trying to start a new war. Put him on the first boat for New York or else throw him in a Greek jail."

"I've got one more thing to take care of—and then we’ll have just enough time to get married before lunch." He picked up the phone. "Jackson? ... Send a three-copy cable to Paris, Berlin, and Budapest and have those two fake dukes who put in for Schwartzberg-Rhineminster chased over the Polish border. If the duchy won’t do anything, lower the exchange rate to point triple zero naught two. Also, that idiot Blutchdak is back in the Balkans again, trying to start a new war. Get him on the first boat to New York or throw him in a Greek jail."

He rang off, turned to the startled cosmopolite with a laugh.

He hung up, turned to the surprised city dweller with a laugh.

"The next stop is the City Hall. Then, if you like, we'll run over to Paris."

"The next stop is City Hall. Then, if you want, we can head over to Paris."

"John," she asked him intently, "who was the Prince of Wales?"

"John," she asked him with focus, "who was the Prince of Wales?"

He waited till they were in the elevator, dropping twenty floors at a swoop. Then he leaned forward and tapped the lift-boy on the shoulder.

He waited until they were in the elevator, dropping down twenty floors in one go. Then he leaned forward and tapped the elevator attendant on the shoulder.

"Not so fast, Cedric. This lady isn't used to falls from high places."

"Hold on, Cedric. This woman isn't used to falling from high places."

The elevator-boy turned around, smiled. His face was pale, oval, framed in yellow hair. Rags blushed like fire.

The elevator guy turned around and smiled. His face was pale and oval, framed by yellow hair. Rags blushed bright red.

"Cedric's from Wessex," explained John. "The resemblance is, to say the least, amazing. Princes are not particularly discreet, and I suspect Cedric of being a Guelph in some left-handed way."

"Cedric's from Wessex," John explained. "The resemblance is, to say the least, incredible. Princes aren't exactly subtle, and I suspect Cedric might be a Guelph in some indirect way."

Rags took the monocle from around her neck and threw the ribbon over Cedric's head.

Rags took the monocle from around her neck and tossed the ribbon over Cedric's head.

"Thank you," she said simply, "for the second greatest thrill of my life."

"Thanks," she said straightforwardly, "for the second greatest thrill of my life."

John Chestnut began rubbing his hands together in a commercial gesture.

John Chestnut started rubbing his hands together in a business-like way.

"Patronize this place, lady," he besought her. "Best bazaar in the city!"

"Please support this place, ma'am," he urged her. "Best market in the city!"

"What have you got for sale?"

"What do you have for sale?"

"Well, m'selle, to-day we have some perfectly bee-oo-tiful love."

"Well, miss, today we have some perfectly beautiful love."

"Wrap it up, Mr. Merchant," cried Rags Martin-Jones. "It looks like a bargain to me."

"Wrap it up, Mr. Merchant," shouted Rags Martin-Jones. "It seems like a great deal to me."







THE ADJUSTER

At five o'clock the sombre egg-shaped room at the Ritz ripens to a subtle melody—the light clat-clat of one lump, two lumps, into the cup, and the ding of the shining teapots and cream-pots as they kiss elegantly in transit upon a silver tray. There are those who cherish that amber hour above all other hours, for now the pale, pleasant toil of the lilies who inhabit the Ritz is over—the singing decorative part of the day remains.

At five o'clock, the dark egg-shaped room at the Ritz transforms into a soft melody—the light clat-clat of one lump, two lumps, dropping into the cup, and the ding of the shiny teapots and creamers as they gracefully clink together on a silver tray. Some people treasure this golden hour more than any other, because now the light, enjoyable work of the waitstaff at the Ritz is done—the beautiful, lively part of the day is still to come.

Moving your eyes around the slightly raised horseshoe balcony you might, one spring afternoon, have seen young Mrs. Alphonse Karr and young Mrs. Charles Hemple at a table for two. The one in the dress was Mrs. Hemple—when I say "the dress" I refer to that black immaculate affair with the big buttons and the red ghost of a cape at the shoulders, a gown suggesting with faint and fashionable irreverence the garb of a French cardinal, as it was meant to do when it was invented in the Rue de la Paix. Mrs. Karr and Mrs. Hemple were twenty-three years old, and their enemies said that they had done very well for themselves. Either might have had her limousine waiting at the hotel door, but both of them much preferred to walk home (up Park Avenue) through the April twilight.

As you looked around the slightly raised horseshoe balcony, you might have spotted young Mrs. Alphonse Karr and young Mrs. Charles Hemple sitting at a table for two one spring afternoon. The one in the dress was Mrs. Hemple—when I say "the dress," I mean that perfectly tailored black outfit with the large buttons and the delicate red cape draping over the shoulders, a gown that subtly and stylishly echoed the attire of a French cardinal, just as it was intended to when it was created on Rue de la Paix. Mrs. Karr and Mrs. Hemple were both twenty-three years old, and their critics claimed they had done remarkably well for themselves. Either of them could have had their limousine waiting at the hotel entrance, but both preferred to walk home along Park Avenue through the April twilight.

Luella Hemple was tall, with the sort of flaxen hair that English country girls should have, but seldom do. Her skin was radiant, and there was no need of putting anything on it at all, but in deference to an antiquated fashion—this was the year 1920—she had powdered out its high roses and drawn on it a new mouth and new eyebrows—which were no more successful than such meddling deserves. This, of course, is said from the vantage-point of 1925. In those days the effect she gave was exactly right.

Luella Hemple was tall, with the kind of light blonde hair that English country girls are supposed to have, but rarely do. Her skin was glowing, and she didn’t need to put anything on it at all, but out of respect for an old-fashioned trend—this was the year 1920—she had powdered her high cheekbones and applied a new shape to her lips and eyebrows, which didn’t turn out any better than such interference typically does. This, of course, is said from the perspective of 1925. Back then, the look she had was completely on point.

"I've been married three years," she was saying as she squashed out a cigarette in an exhausted lemon. "The baby will be two years old to-morrow. I must remember to get——"

"I've been married for three years," she was saying as she stubbed out a cigarette in a tired lemon. "The baby will turn two years old tomorrow. I need to remember to get——"

She took a gold pencil from her case and wrote "Candles" and "Things you pull, with paper caps," on an ivory date-pad. Then, raising her eyes, she looked at Mrs. Karr and hesitated.

She took a gold pencil from her case and wrote "Candles" and "Things you pull, with paper caps," on an ivory date-pad. Then, looking up, she glanced at Mrs. Karr and hesitated.

"Shall I tell you something outrageous?"

"Can I tell you something shocking?"

"Try," said Mrs. Karr cheerfully.

"Go for it," said Mrs. Karr cheerfully.

"Even my baby bores me. That sounds unnatural, Ede, but it's true. He doesn't begin to fill my life. I love him with all my heart, but when I have him to take care of for an afternoon, I get so nervous that I want to scream. After two hours I begin praying for the moment the nurse'll walk in the door."

"Even my baby bores me. I know that sounds harsh, Ede, but it’s true. He doesn’t begin to fill my life. I love him completely, but when I have to take care of him for an afternoon, I get so anxious that I want to scream. After two hours, I start wishing for the moment the nurse walks in."

When she had made this confession, Luella breathed quickly and looked closely at her friend. She didn't really feel unnatural at all. This was the truth. There couldn't be anything vicious in the truth.

When she finished confessing, Luella breathed rapidly and looked intently at her friend. She didn't actually feel strange at all. This was the truth. There couldn't be anything malicious in the truth.

"It may be because you don't love Charles," ventured Mrs. Karr, unmoved.

"It might be that you don't love Charles," suggested Mrs. Karr, unfazed.

"But I do! I hope I haven't given you that impression with all this talk." She decided that Ede Karr was stupid. "It's the very fact that I do love Charles that complicates matters. I cried myself to sleep last night because I know we're drifting slowly but surely toward a divorce. It's the baby that keeps us together."

"But I really do! I hope I haven't made you think otherwise with all this talking." She concluded that Ede Karr was clueless. "It's precisely because I love Charles that things are so complicated. I cried myself to sleep last night because I know we're slowly but surely heading toward a divorce. It's the baby that keeps us connected."

Ede Karr, who had been married five years, looked at her critically to see if this was a pose, but Luella's lovely eyes were grave and sad.

Ede Karr, who had been married for five years, looked at her closely to see if this was an act, but Luella's beautiful eyes were serious and sad.

"And what is the trouble?" Ede inquired.

"And what's the problem?" Ede asked.

"It's plural," said Luella, frowning. "First, there's food. I'm a vile housekeeper, and I have no intention of turning into a good one. I hate to order groceries, and I hate to go into the kitchen and poke around to see if the ice-box is clean, and I hate to pretend to the servants that I'm interested in their work, when really I never want to hear about food until it comes on the table. You see, I never learned to cook, and consequently a kitchen is about as interesting to me as a—as a boiler-room. It's simply a machine that I don't understand. It's easy to say, 'Go to cooking school,' the way people do in books—but, Ede, in real life does anybody ever change into a model Hausfrau unless they have to?"

"It's plural," Luella said, frowning. "First, there's food. I'm a terrible housekeeper, and I have no intention of becoming a good one. I hate ordering groceries, I hate going into the kitchen to check if the fridge is clean, and I hate pretending to the staff that I'm interested in their work when, honestly, I never want to think about food until it's on the table. You see, I never learned to cook, so a kitchen is just as interesting to me as a—a boiler room. It's simply a machine that I don't understand. It's easy to say, 'Go to cooking school,' like people do in books—but, Ede, in real life does anyone ever turn into a model Hausfrau unless they have to?"

"Go on," said Ede non-committally. "Tell me more."

"Go ahead," Ede said, sounding neutral. "Tell me more."

"Well, as a result, the house is always in a riot. The servants leave every week. If they're young and incompetent, I can't train them, so we have to let them go. If they're experienced, they hate a house where a woman doesn't take an intense interest in the price of asparagus. So they leave—and half the time we eat at restaurants and hotels."

"Well, because of that, the house is always a mess. The staff quits every week. If they're young and unskilled, I can't train them, so we have to let them go. If they're experienced, they dislike working for someone who doesn't care about the price of asparagus. So they end up leaving—and half the time we eat out at restaurants and hotels."

"I don't suppose Charles likes that."

"I don't think Charles likes that."

"Hates it. In fact, he hates about everything that I like. He's lukewarm about the theatre, hates the opera, hates dancing, hates cocktail parties—sometimes I think he hates everything pleasant in the world. I sat home for a year or so. While Chuck was on the way, and while I was nursing him, I didn't mind. But this year I told Charles frankly that I was still young enough to want some fun. And since then we've been going out whether he wants to or not." She paused, brooding. "I'm so sorry for him I don't know what to do, Ede—but if we sat home, I'd just be sorry for myself. And to tell you another true thing, I'd rather that he'd be unhappy than me."

"Hates it. Actually, he hates just about everything I like. He's indifferent to the theater, hates the opera, hates dancing, and hates cocktail parties—sometimes I think he hates everything enjoyable in the world. I stayed home for a year or so. While Chuck was on the way, and while I was taking care of him, I was fine with it. But this year I told Charles honestly that I’m still young enough to want to have some fun. And since then we’ve been going out whether he wants to or not." She paused, deep in thought. "I feel so sorry for him that I don’t know what to do, Ede—but if we stayed home, I’d just feel sorry for myself. And to be completely honest, I’d rather he be unhappy than me."

Luella was not so much stating a case as thinking aloud. She considered that she was being very fair. Before her marriage men had always told her that she was "a good sport," and she had tried to carry this fairness into her married life. So she always saw Charley's point of view as clearly as she saw her own.

Luella wasn't really making a case; she was just thinking out loud. She believed she was being very fair. Before she got married, guys had always said she was "a good sport," and she tried to bring that fairness into her marriage. So she always understood Charley's perspective just as clearly as her own.

If she had been a pioneer wife, she would probably have fought the fight side by side with her husband. But here in New York there wasn't any fight. They weren't struggling together to obtain a far-off peace and leisure—she had more of either than she could use. Luella, like several thousand other young wives in New York, honestly wanted something to do. If she had had a little more money and a little less love, she could have gone in for horses or for vagarious amour. Or if they had had a little less money, her surplus energy would have been absorbed by hope and even by effort. But the Charles Hemples were in between. They were of that enormous American class who wander over Europe every summer, sneering rather pathetically and wistfully at the customs and traditions and pastimes of other countries, because they have no customs or traditions or pastimes of their own. It is a class sprung yesterday from fathers and mothers who might just as well have lived two hundred years ago.

If she had been a pioneer wife, she probably would have fought alongside her husband. But here in New York, there wasn’t any fight. They weren’t struggling together for a distant peace and leisure—she had more of both than she knew what to do with. Luella, like thousands of other young wives in New York, genuinely wanted something to occupy her time. If she had had a bit more money and a bit less love, she could have taken up horseback riding or casual romances. Or if they had had a bit less money, her extra energy would have been spent on hope and even effort. But the Charles Hemples were in between. They belonged to that large American class that travels across Europe every summer, looking down somewhat sadly and wistfully at the customs and traditions and pastimes of other countries, because they have no customs or traditions or pastimes of their own. It's a class that seemingly emerged yesterday from parents who might as well have lived two hundred years ago.

The tea-hour had turned abruptly into the before-dinner hour. Most of the tables had emptied until the room was dotted rather than crowded with shrill isolated voices and remote, surprising laughter—in one corner the waiters were already covering the tables with white for dinner.

The tea hour had suddenly shifted into the pre-dinner hour. Most of the tables had cleared out, leaving the room filled with scattered, loud voices and unexpected laughter—in one corner, the waiters were already setting the tables with white for dinner.

"Charles and I are on each other's nerves." In the new silence Luella's voice rang out with startling clearness, and she lowered it precipitately. "Little things. He keeps rubbing his face with his hand—all the time, at table, at the theatre—even when he's in bed. It drives me wild, and when things like that begin to irritate you, it's nearly over." She broke off and, reaching backward, drew up a light fur around her neck. "I hope I haven't bored you, Ede. It's on my mind, because to-night tells the story. I made an engagement for to-night—an interesting engagement, a supper after the theatre to meet some Russians, singers or dancers or something, and Charles says he won't go. If he doesn't—then I'm going alone. And that's the end."

"Charles and I are really getting on each other's nerves." In the sudden silence, Luella's voice came through clearly, and she quickly lowered it. "It's the little things. He keeps rubbing his face with his hand—all the time, at dinner, at the theater—even when he's in bed. It drives me crazy, and when little things start to annoy you, it's almost over." She paused and, reaching back, wrapped a light fur around her neck. "I hope I haven't bored you, Ede. It's on my mind because tonight is important. I made plans for tonight—an interesting engagement, a dinner after the theater to meet some Russians, singers or dancers or something, and Charles says he won’t go. If he doesn’t—then I’m going alone. And that’s that."

She put her elbows on the table suddenly and, bending her eyes down into her smooth gloves, began to cry, stubbornly and quietly. There was no one near to see, but Ede Karr wished that she had taken her gloves off. She would have reached out consolingly and touched her bare hand. But the gloves were a symbol of the difficulty of sympathizing with a woman to whom life had given so much. Ede wanted to say that it would "come out all right," that it wasn't "so bad as it seemed," but she said nothing. Her only reaction was impatience and distaste.

She suddenly put her elbows on the table and, looking down at her smooth gloves, began to cry quietly and stubbornly. There was no one around to see, but Ede Karr wished she had taken her gloves off. She would have reached out comfortingly and touched her bare hand. But the gloves were a reminder of how hard it was to sympathize with someone who had been given so much by life. Ede wanted to say that everything would "turn out fine," that it wasn't "as bad as it seemed," but she said nothing. Her only reaction was impatience and distaste.

A waiter stepped near and laid a folded paper on the table, and Mrs. Karr reached for it.

A waiter came over and placed a folded paper on the table, and Mrs. Karr reached for it.

"No, you mustn't," murmured Luella brokenly. "No, I invited you! I've got the money right here."

"No, you can't," Luella whispered, her voice trembling. "No, I invited you! I have the money right here."







II

The Hemples' apartment—they owned it—was in one of those impersonal white palaces that are known by number instead of name. They had furnished it on their honeymoon, gone to England for the big pieces, to Florence for the bric-à-brac, and to Venice for the lace and sheer linen of the curtains and for the glass of many colors which littered the table when they entertained. Luella enjoyed choosing things on her honeymoon. It gave a purposeful air to the trip, and saved it from ever turning into the rather dismal wandering among big hotels and desolate ruins which European honeymoons are apt to be.

The Hemples' apartment—they owned it—was in one of those generic white buildings that are known by number instead of name. They furnished it during their honeymoon, going to England for the big pieces, to Florence for the decorative items, and to Venice for the lace and lightweight linen for the curtains and for the colorful glass that filled the table when they hosted guests. Luella loved picking out things on her honeymoon. It gave a sense of purpose to the trip and kept it from becoming the somewhat bleak wandering through large hotels and empty ruins that European honeymoons often turn into.

They returned, and life began. On the grand scale. Luella found herself a lady of substance. It amazed her sometimes that the specially created apartment and the specially created limousine were hers, just as indisputably as the mortgaged suburban bungalow out of The Ladies' Home Journal and the last year's car that fate might have given her instead. She was even more amazed when it all began to bore her. But it did....

They came back, and life started. On a grand scale. Luella realized she was a woman of significance. Sometimes it surprised her that the specially designed apartment and the custom limousine actually belonged to her, just as certainly as the mortgaged suburban bungalow from The Ladies' Home Journal and the last year's car that fate might have handed her instead. She was even more shocked when it all started to lose its excitement. But it did....

The evening was at seven when she turned out of the April dusk, let herself into the hall, and saw her husband waiting in the living-room before an open fire. She came in without a sound, closed the door noiselessly behind her, and stood watching him for a moment through the pleasant effective vista of the small salon which intervened. Charles Hemple was in the middle thirties, with a young serious face and distinguished iron-gray hair which would be white in ten years more. That and his deep-set, dark-gray eyes were his most noticeable features—women always thought his hair was romantic; most of the time Luella thought so too.

The evening was at seven when she stepped out of the April dusk, entered the hall, and saw her husband waiting in the living room in front of an open fire. She came in quietly, closed the door silently behind her, and stood watching him for a moment through the inviting view of the small salon that separated them. Charles Hemple was in his mid-thirties, with a young serious face and distinguished iron-gray hair that would turn white in ten years. His deep-set, dark-gray eyes and hair were his most prominent features—women always found his hair romantic; most of the time, Luella felt the same way too.

At this moment she found herself hating him a little, for she saw that he had raised his hand to his face and was rubbing it nervously over his chin and mouth. It gave him an air of unflattering abstraction, and sometimes even obscured his words, so that she was continually saying "What?" She had spoken about it several times, and he had apologized in a surprised way. But obviously he didn't realize how noticeable and how irritating it was, for he continued to do it. Things had now reached such a precarious state that Luella dreaded speaking of such matters any more—a certain sort of word might precipitate the imminent scene.

At that moment, she found herself disliking him a bit because she noticed that he had brought his hand to his face, nervously rubbing his chin and mouth. It gave him a vibe of unflattering distraction, and sometimes it even muffled his words, making her constantly say, “What?” She had brought it up several times, and he had apologized, looking surprised. But it was clear he didn't realize how obvious and annoying it was because he kept doing it. Things had gotten so tense that Luella was afraid to bring up such topics anymore—a certain word might trigger an explosive scene.

Luella tossed her gloves and purse abruptly on the table. Hearing the faint sound, her husband looked out toward the hall.

Luella threw her gloves and purse down on the table. Hearing the soft noise, her husband glanced toward the hallway.

"Is that you, dear?"

"Is that you, babe?"

"Yes, dear."

"Sure, honey."

She went into the living-room, and walked into his arms and kissed him tensely. Charles Hemple responded with unusual formality, and then turned her slowly around so that she faced across the room.

She walked into the living room, went straight into his arms, and kissed him passionately. Charles Hemple reacted with unexpected formality, then slowly turned her around to face the room.

"I've brought some one home to dinner."

"I've brought someone home for dinner."

She saw then that they were not alone, and her first feeling was of strong relief; the rigid expression on her face softened into a shy, charming smile as she held out her hand.

She realized then that they weren’t alone, and her first feeling was one of strong relief; the tense expression on her face changed into a shy, charming smile as she reached out her hand.

"This is Doctor Moon—this is my wife."

"This is Dr. Moon—this is my wife."

A man a little older than her husband, with a round, pale, slightly lined face, came forward to meet her.

A man slightly older than her husband, with a round, pale face that had some lines, stepped forward to greet her.

"Good evening, Mrs. Hemple," he said. "I hope I'm not interfering with any arrangement of yours."

"Good evening, Mrs. Hemple," he said. "I hope I’m not interrupting any of your plans."

"Oh, no," Luella cried quickly. "I'm delighted that you're coming to dinner. We're quite alone."

"Oh, no," Luella exclaimed quickly. "I'm so glad you're coming to dinner. It's just the two of us."

Simultaneously she thought of her engagement to-night, and wondered if this could be a clumsy trap of Charles' to keep her at home. If it were, he had chosen his bait badly. This man—a tired placidity radiated from him, from his face, from his heavy, leisurely voice, even from the three-year-old shine of his clothes.

At the same time, she thought about her engagement tonight and wondered if this could be a clumsy trick by Charles to keep her home. If that was the case, he had picked the wrong bait. This man—a tired calmness came off him, from his face, from his slow, heavy voice, even from the three-year-old shine of his clothes.

Nevertheless, she excused herself and went into the kitchen to see what was planned for dinner. As usual they were trying a new pair of servants, the luncheon had been ill-cooked and ill-served—she would let them go to-morrow. She hoped Charles would talk to them—she hated to get rid of servants. Sometimes they wept, and sometimes they were insolent, but Charles had a way with him. And they were always afraid of a man.

Nevertheless, she excused herself and went into the kitchen to see what was planned for dinner. As usual, they were trying out a new pair of servants; lunch had been poorly cooked and poorly served—she would let them go tomorrow. She hoped Charles would talk to them—she hated getting rid of staff. Sometimes they cried, and sometimes they were rude, but Charles had a way with people. And they were always afraid of a man.

The cooking on the stove, however, had a soothing savor. Luella gave instructions about "which china," and unlocked a bottle of precious chianti from the buffet. Then she went in to kiss young Chuck good night.

The cooking on the stove, however, had a comforting smell. Luella gave instructions about "which china" to use and opened a bottle of valuable chianti from the buffet. Then she went in to kiss young Chuck goodnight.

"Has he been good?" she demanded as he crawled enthusiastically into her arms.

"Has he been good?" she asked as he eagerly crawled into her arms.

"Very good," said the governess. "We went for a long walk over by Central Park."

"Very good," said the governess. "We went for a long walk over by Central Park."

"Well, aren't you a smart boy!" She kissed him ecstatically.

"Wow, aren't you a clever kid!" She kissed him excitedly.

"And he put his foot into the fountain, so we had to come home in a taxi right away and change his little shoe and stocking."

"And he stepped into the fountain, so we had to take a taxi home immediately to change his little shoe and sock."

"That's right. Here, wait a minute, Chuck!" Luella unclasped the great yellow beads from around her neck and handed them to him. "You mustn't break mama's beads." She turned to the nurse. "Put them on my dresser, will you, after he's asleep?"

"That's right. Here, hold on a second, Chuck!" Luella unclasped the large yellow beads from around her neck and handed them to him. "You can't break mama's beads." She turned to the nurse. "Can you put them on my dresser after he falls asleep?"

She felt a certain compassion for her son as she went away—the small enclosed life he led, that all children led, except in big families. He was a dear little rose, except on the days when she took care of him. His face was the same shape as hers; she was thrilled sometimes, and formed new resolves about life when his heart beat against her own.

She felt a mix of compassion for her son as she left—the small, sheltered life he lived, like all kids did, except in large families. He was a sweet little flower, except on the days when she had to take care of him. His face looked just like hers; sometimes she felt a thrill and made new commitments about life when his heart beat close to hers.

In her own pink and lovely bedroom, she confined her attentions to her face, which she washed and restored. Doctor Moon didn't deserve a change of dress, and Luella found herself oddly tired, though she had done very little all day. She returned to the living-room, and they went in to dinner.

In her own pretty pink bedroom, she focused on her face, which she washed and freshened up. Doctor Moon didn't warrant a change of clothes, and Luella felt surprisingly tired, even though she hadn't done much all day. She went back to the living room, and they headed to dinner.

"Such a nice house, Mrs. Hemple," said Doctor Moon impersonally; "and let me congratulate you on your fine little boy."

"Such a lovely house, Mrs. Hemple," said Doctor Moon in a detached manner; "and let me congratulate you on your wonderful little boy."

"Thanks. Coming from a doctor, that's a nice compliment." She hesitated. "Do you specialize in children?"

"Thanks. That’s a nice compliment coming from a doctor." She paused. "Do you work with kids?"

"I'm not a specialist at all," he said. "I'm about the last of my kind—a general practitioner."

"I'm not a specialist at all," he said. "I'm one of the last of my kind—a general practitioner."

"The last in New York, anyhow," remarked Charles. He had begun rubbing his face nervously, and Luella fixed her eyes on Doctor Moon so that she wouldn't see. But at Charles's next words she looked back at him sharply.

"The last one in New York, anyway," Charles said. He had started to rub his face nervously, and Luella focused her gaze on Doctor Moon so she wouldn't notice. But when Charles spoke again, she quickly looked back at him.

"In fact," he said unexpectedly, "I've invited Doctor Moon here because I wanted you to have a talk with him to-night."

"In fact," he said suddenly, "I've invited Dr. Moon here because I wanted you to talk with him tonight."

Luella sat up straight in her chair.

Luella sat up straight in her chair.

"A talk with me?"

"Can we talk?"

"Doctor Moon's an old friend of mine, and I think he can tell you a few things, Luella, that you ought to know."

"Doctor Moon is an old friend of mine, and I think he can share some things with you, Luella, that you need to know."

"Why—" She tried to laugh, but she was surprised and annoyed. "I don't see, exactly, what you mean. There's nothing the matter with me. I don't believe I've ever felt better in my life."

"Why—" She tried to laugh, but she was shocked and irritated. "I don't get what you mean. There's nothing wrong with me. I don't think I've ever felt better in my life."

Doctor Moon looked at Charles, asking permission to speak. Charles nodded, and his hand went up automatically to his face.

Doctor Moon looked at Charles, seeking permission to speak. Charles nodded, and his hand instinctively went to his face.

"Your husband has told me a great deal about your unsatisfactory life together," said Doctor Moon, still impersonally. "He wonders if I can be of any help in smoothing things out."

"Your husband has shared a lot about your unsatisfactory life together," said Doctor Moon, still impersonal. "He’s hoping I can help resolve some issues."

Luella's face was burning.

Luella's face was on fire.

"I have no particular faith in psychoanalysis," she said coldly, "and I scarcely consider myself a subject for it."

"I don't really believe in psychoanalysis," she said coldly, "and I hardly see myself as someone who would benefit from it."

"Neither have I," answered Doctor Moon, apparently unconscious of the snub; "I have no particular faith in anything but myself. I told you I am not a specialist, nor, I may add, a faddist of any sort. I promise nothing."

"Me neither," replied Doctor Moon, seemingly unaware of the insult; "I don't really believe in anything except myself. I told you I'm not a specialist, nor, I should add, a fan of any trends. I make no promises."

For a moment Luella considered leaving the room. But the effrontery of the suggestion aroused her curiosity too.

For a moment, Luella thought about leaving the room. But the audacity of the suggestion also piqued her curiosity.

"I can't imagine what Charles has told you," she said, controlling herself with difficulty, "much less why. But I assure you that our affairs are a matter entirely between my husband and me. If you have no objections, Doctor Moon, I'd much prefer to discuss something—less personal."

"I can't imagine what Charles has told you," she said, struggling to stay composed, "let alone why. But I promise you that our matters are completely between my husband and me. If you don't mind, Doctor Moon, I'd rather talk about something—less personal."

Doctor Moon nodded heavily and politely. He made no further attempt to open the subject, and dinner proceeded in what was little more than a defeated silence. Luella determined that, whatever happened, she would adhere to her plans for to-night. An hour ago her independence had demanded it, but now some gesture of defiance had become necessary to her self-respect. She would stay in the living-room for a short moment after dinner; then, when the coffee came, she would excuse herself and dress to go out.

Doctor Moon nodded solemnly and politely. He didn't try to bring up the topic again, and dinner continued in what felt like a resigned silence. Luella decided that, no matter what, she would stick to her plans for the night. An hour earlier, her independence had required it, but now she felt she needed some act of defiance to maintain her self-respect. She would stay in the living room for a little while after dinner; then, when the coffee arrived, she would excuse herself and get ready to go out.

But when they did leave the dining-room, it was Charles who, in a quick, unarguable way, vanished.

But when they left the dining room, it was Charles who just disappeared in a quick, undeniable manner.

"I have a letter to write," he said; "I'll be back in a moment." Before Luella could make a diplomatic objection, he went quickly down the corridor to his room, and she heard him shut his door.

"I have a letter to write," he said; "I'll be back in a minute." Before Luella could make a polite objection, he hurried down the hall to his room, and she heard him close his door.

Angry and confused, Luella poured the coffee and sank into a corner of the couch, looking intently at the fire.

Angry and confused, Luella poured the coffee and sank into a corner of the couch, staring intently at the fire.

"Don't be afraid, Mrs. Hemple," said Doctor Moon suddenly. "This was forced upon me. I do not act as a free agent——"

"Don’t worry, Mrs. Hemple," Doctor Moon said suddenly. "This was not my choice. I’m not acting on my own."

"I'm not afraid of you," she interrupted. But she knew that she was lying. She was a little afraid of him, if only for his dull insensitiveness to her distaste.

"I'm not scared of you," she interrupted. But she knew she was lying. She was a bit afraid of him, if only because of his complete insensitivity to her discomfort.

"Tell me about your trouble," he said very naturally, as though she were not a free agent either. He wasn't even looking at her, and except that they were alone in the room, he scarcely seemed to be addressing her at all.

"Tell me about your troubles," he said casually, as if she didn't have a choice in the matter. He wasn't even looking at her, and aside from the fact that they were alone in the room, it barely felt like he was talking to her at all.

The words that were in Luella's mind, her will, on her lips, were: "I'll do no such thing." What she actually said amazed her. It came out of her spontaneously, with apparently no co-operation of her own.

The words that were in Luella's mind, her will, on her lips, were: "I'll do no such thing." What she actually said surprised her. It came out of her spontaneously, with seemingly no involvement from her own will.

"Didn't you see him rubbing his face at dinner?" she said despairingly. "Are you blind? He's become so irritating to me that I think I'll go mad."

"Didn't you see him rubbing his face at dinner?" she said, exasperated. "Are you blind? He's gotten so annoying that I think I'm going to lose it."

"I see." Doctor Moon's round face nodded.

"I get it." Doctor Moon's round face nodded.

"Don't you see I've had enough of home?" Her breasts seemed to struggle for air under her dress. "Don't you see how bored I am with keeping house, with the baby—everything seems as if it's going on forever and ever? I want excitement; and I don't care what form it takes or what I pay for it, so long as it makes my heart beat."

"Don't you see I've had enough of being at home?" Her chest seemed to be gasping for breath under her dress. "Can't you tell how bored I am with housework, with the baby—everything feels like it just goes on and on? I want some excitement; I don't care what it looks like or what I have to give up for it, as long as it makes my heart race."

"I see."

"Got it."

It infuriated Luella that he claimed to understand. Her feeling of defiance had reached such a pitch that she preferred that no one should understand. She was content to be justified by the impassioned sincerity of her desires.

It made Luella furious that he said he understood. Her sense of defiance had grown so strong that she would rather no one understood at all. She was satisfied to be validated by the intense sincerity of her desires.

"I've tried to be good, and I'm not going to try any more. If I'm one of those women who wreck their lives for nothing, then I'll do it now. You can call me selfish, or silly, and be quite right; but in five minutes I'm going out of this house and begin to be alive."

"I've tried to be good, and I'm done trying. If I'm one of those women who ruin their lives for no reason, then I'll do it now. You can call me selfish or foolish, and you'd be right; but in five minutes, I'm walking out of this house and starting to live."

This time Doctor Moon didn't answer, but he raised his head as if he were listening to something that was taking place a little distance away.

This time, Doctor Moon didn't respond, but he lifted his head as if he was listening to something happening a short distance away.

"You're not going out," he said after a moment; "I'm quite sure you're not going out."

"You're not going out," he said after a pause; "I’m pretty sure you’re not going out."

Luella laughed.

Luella chuckled.

"I am going out."

"I'm going out."

He disregarded this.

He ignored this.

"You see, Mrs. Hemple, your husband isn't well. He's been trying to live your kind of life, and the strain of it has been too much for him. When he rubs his mouth——"

"You see, Mrs. Hemple, your husband isn't doing well. He's been trying to live the way you do, and the pressure of it has been too much for him. When he rubs his mouth——"

Light steps came down the corridor, and the maid, with a frightened expression on her face, tiptoed into the room.

Light footsteps echoed in the hallway as the maid, looking scared, quietly entered the room.

"Mrs. Hemple——"

"Ms. Hemple——"

Startled at the interruption, Luella turned quickly.

Startled by the interruption, Luella turned around quickly.

"Yes?"

"Yup?"

"Can I speak to—?" Her fear broke precipitately through her slight training. "Mr. Hemple, he's sick! He came into the kitchen a while ago and began throwing all the food out of the ice-box, and now he's in his room, crying and singing——"

"Can I talk to—?" Her fear suddenly overwhelmed her slight training. "Mr. Hemple, he's ill! He came into the kitchen a little while ago and started throwing all the food out of the fridge, and now he's in his room, crying and singing——"

Suddenly Luella heard his voice.

Suddenly, Luella heard his voice.







III

Charles Hemple had had a nervous collapse. There were twenty years of almost uninterrupted toil upon his shoulders, and the recent pressure at home had been too much for him to bear. His attitude toward his wife was the weak point in what had otherwise been a strong-minded and well-organized career—he was aware of her intense selfishness, but it is one of the many flaws in the scheme of human relationships that selfishness in women has an irresistible appeal to many men. Luella's selfishness existed side by side with a childish beauty, and, in consequence, Charles Hemple had begun to take the blame upon himself for situations which she had obviously brought about. It was an unhealthy attitude, and his mind had sickened, at length, with his attempts to put himself in the wrong.

Charles Hemple had a nervous breakdown. He had been working almost nonstop for twenty years, and the recent stress at home had become too much for him to handle. His relationship with his wife was the weak point in what had otherwise been a strong and well-organized career—he recognized her extreme selfishness, but one of the many flaws in human relationships is that selfishness in women often attracts many men. Luella's selfishness came along with a childish beauty, and as a result, Charles Hemple had started to take the blame for situations she had clearly caused. This was an unhealthy mindset, and eventually, his attempts to blame himself had taken a toll on his mental health.

After the first shock and the momentary flush of pity that followed it, Luella looked at the situation with impatience. She was "a good sport"—she couldn't take advantage of Charles when he was sick. The question of her liberties had to be postponed until he was on his feet. Just when she had determined to be a wife no longer, Luella was compelled to be a nurse as well. She sat beside his bed while he talked about her in his delirium—about the days of their engagement, and how some friend had told him then that he was making a mistake, and about his happiness in the early months of their marriage, and his growing disquiet as the gap appeared. Evidently he had been more aware of it than she had thought—more than he ever said.

After the initial shock and the brief wave of sympathy that followed, Luella viewed the situation with annoyance. She was "a good sport"—she couldn’t take advantage of Charles while he was unwell. The issue of her freedom had to wait until he was back on his feet. Just when she decided she didn't want to be a wife anymore, Luella was forced to play the role of a nurse too. She sat by his bedside while he talked about her in his delirium—reminiscing about their engagement, and how some friend had warned him he was making a mistake, and about his happiness in the early months of their marriage, along with his growing unease as the gap widened. Clearly, he was more aware of it than she had realized—more than he ever expressed.

"Luella!" He would lurch up in bed. "Luella! Where are you?"

"Luella!" He would sit up in bed abruptly. "Luella! Where are you?"

"I'm right here, Charles, beside you." She tried to make her voice cheerful and warm.

"I'm right here, Charles, next to you." She tried to make her voice sound cheerful and warm.

"If you want to go, Luella, you'd better go. I don't seem to be enough for you any more."

"If you want to leave, Luella, you should just go. I don’t think I'm enough for you anymore."

She denied this soothingly.

She calmly denied this.

"I've thought it over, Luella, and I can't ruin my health on account of you—" Then quickly, and passionately: "Don't go, Luella, for God's sake, don't go away and leave me! Promise me you won't! I'll do anything you say if you won't go."

"I've thought about it, Luella, and I can't ruin my health because of you—" Then quickly, and passionately: "Don't leave, Luella, for God's sake, please don't go away and leave me! Promise me you won't! I'll do whatever you say if you stay."

His humility annoyed her most; he was a reserved man, and she had never guessed at the extent of his devotion before.

His humility irritated her the most; he was a quiet guy, and she had never realized how deeply devoted he was before.

"I'm only going for a minute. It's Doctor Moon, your friend, Charles. He came to-day to see how you were, don't you remember? And he wants to talk to me before he goes."

"I'm just stepping out for a minute. It's Doctor Moon, your friend, Charles. He came by today to check on you, remember? He wants to chat with me before he leaves."

"You'll come back?" he persisted.

"Are you coming back?" he persisted.

"In just a little while. There—lie quiet."

"In just a bit. There—stay still."

She raised his head and plumped his pillow into freshness. A new trained nurse would arrive to-morrow.

She lifted his head and fluffed his pillow to make it fresh. A new trained nurse would be arriving tomorrow.

In the living-room Doctor Moon was waiting—his suit more worn and shabby in the afternoon light. She disliked him inordinately, with an illogical conviction that he was in some way to blame for her misfortune, but he was so deeply interested that she couldn't refuse to see him. She hadn't asked him to consult with the specialists, though—a doctor who was so down at the heel....

In the living room, Doctor Moon was waiting—his suit looking more worn and shabby in the afternoon light. She disliked him intensely, with an irrational belief that he was somehow at fault for her misfortune, but he was so genuinely interested that she couldn't turn him away. She hadn’t asked him to consult with the specialists, though—a doctor who was in such rough shape...

"Mrs. Hemple." He came forward, holding out his hand, and Luella touched it, lightly and uneasily.

"Mrs. Hemple." He stepped closer, extending his hand, and Luella touched it, gently and a bit hesitantly.

"You seem well," he said.

"You look good," he said.

"I am well, thank you."

"I'm good, thanks."

"I congratulate you on the way you've taken hold of things."

"I congratulate you on how you've taken control of things."

"But I haven't taken hold of things at all," she said coldly. "I do what I have to——"

"But I haven't taken control of anything at all," she said coldly. "I just do what I need to——"

"That's just it."

"That's exactly it."

Her impatience mounted rapidly.

She quickly became impatient.

"I do what I have to, and nothing more," she continued; "and with no particular good-will."

"I do what I have to, and nothing more," she continued, "and with no particular goodwill."

Suddenly she opened up to him again, as she had the night of the catastrophe—realizing that she was putting herself on a footing of intimacy with him, yet unable to restrain her words.

Suddenly, she opened up to him again, just like she had the night of the disaster—aware that she was getting close to him but unable to hold back her words.

"The house isn't going," she broke out bitterly. "I had to discharge the servants, and now I've got a woman in by the day. And the baby has a cold, and I've found out that his nurse doesn't know her business, and everything's just as messy and terrible as it can be!"

"The house isn't selling," she said bitterly. "I had to let the servants go, and now I’ve got a woman coming in by the day. The baby has a cold, and I found out that his nurse doesn’t know what she’s doing, and everything's just as chaotic and awful as it can get!"

"Would you mind telling me how you found out the nurse didn't know her business?"

"Could you tell me how you realized the nurse wasn't competent?"

"You find out various unpleasant things when you're forced to stay around the house."

"You discover a lot of uncomfortable truths when you’re stuck at home."

He nodded, his weary face turning here and there about the room.

He nodded, his tired face looking around the room.

"I feel somewhat encouraged," he said slowly. "As I told you, I promise nothing; I only do the best I can."

"I feel a bit encouraged," he said slowly. "As I mentioned, I promise nothing; I just do my best."

Luella looked up at him, startled.

Luella looked up at him, surprised.

"What do you mean?" she protested. "You've done nothing for me—nothing at all!"

"What do you mean?" she argued. "You've done nothing for me—absolutely nothing!"

"Nothing much—yet," he said heavily. "It takes time, Mrs. Hemple."

"Not much yet," he said with a sigh. "It takes time, Mrs. Hemple."

The words were said in a dry monotone that was somehow without offense, but Luella felt that he had gone too far. She got to her feet.

The words were spoken in a flat tone that was somehow non-offensive, but Luella sensed that he had crossed a line. She stood up.

"I've met your type before," she said coldly. "For some reason you seem to think that you have a standing here as 'the old friend of the family.' But I don't make friends quickly, and I haven't given you the privilege of being so"—she wanted to say "insolent," but the word eluded her—"so personal with me."

"I've encountered your type before," she said icily. "For some reason, you think you have some status here as 'the old family friend.' But I don't make friends easily, and I haven't granted you the right to be so"—she wanted to say "rude," but the word escaped her—"so familiar with me."

When the front door had closed behind him, Luella went into the kitchen to see if the woman understood about the three different dinners—one for Charles, one for the baby, and one for herself. It was hard to do with only a single servant when things were so complicated. She must try another employment agency—this one had begun to sound bored.

When the front door shut behind him, Luella went into the kitchen to check if the woman understood about the three different dinners—one for Charles, one for the baby, and one for herself. It was tough to manage with just one servant when things were so complicated. She needed to try another employment agency—this one had started to sound uninterested.

To her surprise, she found the cook with hat and coat on, reading a newspaper at the kitchen table. "Why"—Luella tried to think of the name—"why, what's the matter, Mrs.——"

To her surprise, she found the cook in her hat and coat, reading a newspaper at the kitchen table. "Why"—Luella tried to remember the name—"what's going on, Mrs.——"

"Mrs. Danski is my name."

"I'm Mrs. Danski."

"What's the matter?"

"What's wrong?"

"I'm afraid I won't be able to accommodate you," said Mrs. Danski. "You see, I'm only a plain cook, and I'm not used to preparing invalid's food."

"I'm sorry, but I can't help you," said Mrs. Danski. "You see, I'm just a simple cook, and I'm not used to making food for someone who is ill."

"But I've counted on you."

"But I've relied on you."

"I'm very sorry." She shook her head stubbornly. "I've got my own health to think of. I'm sure they didn't tell me what kind of a job it was when I came. And when you asked me to clean out your husband's room, I knew it was way beyond my powers."

"I'm really sorry." She shook her head firmly. "I have my own health to think about. I'm sure they didn't explain what kind of job this would be when I arrived. And when you asked me to clean out your husband's room, I realized it was way beyond my capabilities."

"I won't ask you to clean anything," said Luella desperately. "If you'll just stay until to-morrow. I can't possibly get anybody else to-night."

"I won't ask you to clean anything," Luella said desperately. "If you could just stay until tomorrow. I can't possibly find anyone else tonight."

Mrs. Danski smiled politely.

Mrs. Danski smiled kindly.

"I got my own children to think of, just like you." It was on Luella's tongue to offer her more money, but suddenly her temper gave way.

"I have my own kids to think about, just like you." Luella was about to offer her more money, but then her temper flared up.

"I've never heard of anything so selfish in my life!" she broke out. "To leave me at a time like this! You're an old fool!"

"I've never heard anything so selfish in my life!" she exclaimed. "To leave me at a time like this! You're such an idiot!"

"If you'd pay me for my time, I'd go," said Mrs. Danski calmly.

"If you’d pay me for my time, I’d go," said Mrs. Danski calmly.

"I won't pay you a cent unless you'll stay!"

"I won’t pay you anything unless you agree to stay!"

She was immediately sorry she had said this, but she was too proud to withdraw the threat.

She instantly regretted saying this, but she was too proud to take back the threat.

"You will so pay me!"

"You will definitely pay me!"

"You go out that door!"

"Get out that door!"

"I'll go when I get my money," asserted Mrs. Danski indignantly. "I got my children to think of."

"I'll go when I get my money," Mrs. Danski said firmly. "I have my kids to think about."

Luella drew in her breath sharply, and took a step forward. Intimidated by her intensity, Mrs. Danski turned and flounced, muttering, out of the door.

Luella took a sharp breath and stepped forward. Feeling intimidated by her intensity, Mrs. Danski turned and flounced out the door, muttering.

Luella went to the phone and, calling up the agency, explained that the woman had left.

Luella went to the phone and, calling the agency, explained that the woman had left.

"Can you send me some one right away? My husband is sick and the baby's sick——"

"Can you send someone over right away? My husband is sick, and the baby is sick too—"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Hemple; there's no one in the office now. It's after four o'clock."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Hemple; there's no one in the office right now. It's after 4 PM."

Luella argued for a while. Finally she obtained a promise that they would telephone to an emergency woman they knew. That was the best they could do until to-morrow.

Luella argued for a while. Finally, she got a promise that they would call an emergency woman they knew. That was the best they could do until tomorrow.

She called several other agencies, but the servant industry had apparently ceased to function for the day. After giving Charles his medicine, she tiptoed softly into the nursery.

She called a few other agencies, but it seemed like the cleaning service was off for the day. After she gave Charles his medicine, she quietly walked into the nursery.

"How's baby?" she asked abstractedly.

"How's the baby?" she asked abstractedly.

"Ninety-nine one," whispered the nurse, holding the thermometer to the light. "I just took it."

"Ninety-nine point one," the nurse whispered, holding the thermometer up to the light. "I just checked it."

"Is that much?" asked Luella, frowning.

"Is that a lot?" asked Luella, frowning.

"It's just three-fifths of a degree. That isn't so much for the afternoon. They often run up a little with a cold."

"It's only three-fifths of a degree. That’s not a lot for the afternoon. They usually go up a bit with a cold."

Luella went over to the cot and laid her hand on her son's flushed cheek, thinking, in the midst of her anxiety, how much he resembled the incredible cherub of the "Lux" advertisement in the bus.

Luella walked over to the cot and placed her hand on her son's warm cheek, thinking, amid her worries, how much he looked like the amazing cherub from the "Lux" ad on the bus.

She turned to the nurse.

She faced the nurse.

"Do you know how to cook?"

"Do you know how to cook?"

"Why—I'm not a good cook."

"Why—I'm not a great cook."

"Well, can you do the baby's food to-night? That old fool has left, and I can't get anyone, and I don't know what to do."

"Well, can you make the baby's food tonight? That old fool has left, and I can't find anyone, and I don't know what to do."

"Oh, yes, I can do the baby's food."

"Oh, definitely, I can handle the baby's food."

"That's all right, then. I'll try to fix something for Mr. Hemple. Please have your door open so you can hear the bell when the doctor comes. And let me know."

"That’s fine. I’ll try to arrange something for Mr. Hemple. Please keep your door open so you can hear the bell when the doctor arrives. And keep me updated."

So many doctors! There had scarcely been an hour all day when there wasn't a doctor in the house. The specialist and their family physician every morning, then the baby doctor—and this afternoon there had been Doctor Moon, placid, persistent, unwelcome, in the parlor. Luella went into the kitchen. She could cook bacon and eggs for herself—she had often done that after the theatre. But the vegetables for Charles were a different matter—they must be left to boil or stew or something, and the stove had so many doors and ovens that she couldn't decide which to use. She chose a blue pan that looked new, sliced carrots into it, and covered them with a little water. As she put it on the stove and tried to remember what to do next, the phone rang. It was the agency.

So many doctors! There was barely an hour all day when there wasn’t a doctor in the house. The specialist and the family doctor every morning, then the pediatrician—and this afternoon, there had been Dr. Moon, calm, insistent, and not welcome, in the living room. Luella headed to the kitchen. She could cook bacon and eggs for herself—she had done that plenty of times after the theater. But the vegetables for Charles were a different story—they needed to be boiled or stewed or something, and the stove had so many doors and burners that she couldn’t figure out which to use. She picked a blue pan that looked new, sliced carrots into it, and covered them with a little water. As she placed it on the stove and tried to remember what to do next, the phone rang. It was the agency.

"Yes, this is Mrs. Hemple speaking."

"Yes, this is Mrs. Hemple."

"Why, the woman we sent to you has returned here with the claim that you refused to pay her for her time."

"Why, the woman we sent to you has come back saying that you refused to pay her for her time."

"I explained to you that she refused to stay," said Luella hotly. "She didn't keep her agreement, and I didn't feel I was under any obligation——"

"I told you that she wouldn't stay," Luella said angrily. "She broke her promise, and I didn't think I had any obligation——"

"We have to see that our people are paid," the agency informed her; "otherwise we wouldn't be helping them at all, would we? I'm sorry, Mrs. Hemple, but we won't be able to furnish you with any one else until this little matter is arranged."

"We need to make sure our people get paid," the agency told her; "otherwise, we wouldn't be helping them at all, right? I'm sorry, Mrs. Hemple, but we can’t provide you with anyone else until this issue is sorted out."

"Oh, I'll pay, I'll pay!" she cried.

"Oh, I'll pay, I'll pay!" she exclaimed.

"Of course we like to keep on good terms with our clients——"

"Of course we like to maintain good relationships with our clients——"

"Yes—yes!"

"Yeah—yeah!"

"So if you'll send her money around to-morrow? It's seventy-five cents an hour."

"So, could you send her money tomorrow? It's seventy-five cents an hour."

"But how about to-night?" she exclaimed. "I've got to have some one to-night."

"But what about tonight?" she exclaimed. "I need to have someone tonight."

"Why—it's pretty late now. I was just going home myself."

"Wow—it's getting pretty late now. I was just about to head home myself."

"But I'm Mrs. Charles Hemple! Don't you understand? I'm perfectly good for what I say I'll do. I'm the wife of Charles Hemple, of 14 Broadway——"

"But I'm Mrs. Charles Hemple! Don’t you get it? I'm completely trustworthy when I say I’ll do something. I'm the wife of Charles Hemple, who lives at 14 Broadway——"

Simultaneously she realized that Charles Hemple of 14 Broadway was a helpless invalid—he was neither a reference nor a refuge any more. In despair at the sudden callousness of the world, she hung up the receiver.

At the same time, she understood that Charles Hemple from 14 Broadway was a helpless invalid—he was no longer a source of support or safety. Overwhelmed by the sudden indifference of the world, she hung up the phone.

After another ten minutes of frantic muddling in the kitchen, she went to the baby's nurse, whom she disliked, and confessed that she was unable to cook her husband's dinner. The nurse announced that she had a splitting headache, and that with a sick child her hands were full already, but she consented, without enthusiasm, to show Luella what to do.

After another ten minutes of scrambling in the kitchen, she went to the baby’s nurse, whom she didn’t get along with, and admitted that she couldn’t make her husband’s dinner. The nurse said she had a terrible headache and that with a sick child, she was already overwhelmed, but she reluctantly agreed to show Luella what to do.

Swallowing her humiliation, Luella obeyed orders while the nurse experimented, grumbling, with the unfamiliar stove. Dinner was started after a fashion. Then it was time for the nurse to bathe Chuck, and Luella sat down alone at the kitchen table, and listened to the bubbling perfume that escaped from the pans.

Swallowing her embarrassment, Luella followed instructions while the nurse fumbled with the strange stove. Dinner was started in a makeshift way. Then it was time for the nurse to bathe Chuck, and Luella sat down alone at the kitchen table, listening to the simmering scents wafting from the pots.

"And women do this every day," she thought. "Thousands of women. Cook and take care of sick people—and go out to work too."

"And women do this every day," she thought. "Thousands of women. They cook, take care of sick people, and go out to work too."

But she didn't think of those women as being like her, except in the superficial aspect of having two feet and two hands. She said it as she might have said "South Sea Islanders wear nose-rings." She was merely slumming to-day in her own home, and she wasn't enjoying it. For her, it was merely a ridiculous exception.

But she didn’t see those women as anything like herself, except for the basic fact that they had two feet and two hands. She said it like she might have said, “South Sea Islanders wear nose rings.” She was just pretending to be part of that world today in her own home, and she wasn’t enjoying it. To her, it was just a silly anomaly.

Suddenly she became aware of slow approaching steps in the dining-room and then in the butler's pantry. Half afraid that it was Doctor Moon coming to pay another call, she looked up—and saw the nurse coming through the pantry door. It flashed through Luella's mind that the nurse was going to be sick too. And she was right—the nurse had hardly reached the kitchen door when she lurched and clutched at the handle as a winged bird clings to a branch. Then she receded wordlessly to the floor. Simultaneously the door-bell rang; and Luella, getting to her feet, gasped with relief that the baby doctor had come.

Suddenly, she noticed slow footsteps approaching in the dining room and then in the butler's pantry. Half afraid it was Doctor Moon coming to visit again, she looked up—and saw the nurse walking through the pantry door. It crossed Luella's mind that the nurse was going to be sick too. And she was right—the nurse had barely reached the kitchen door when she stumbled and grabbed the handle like a bird clinging to a branch. Then she silently fell to the floor. At the same time, the doorbell rang; and Luella, getting to her feet, gasped with relief that the baby doctor had arrived.

"Fainted, that's all," he said, taking the girl's head into his lap. The eyes fluttered. "Yep, she fainted, that's all."

"She just fainted, that's all," he said, gently placing the girl's head in his lap. Her eyes fluttered. "Yep, she fainted, that's all."

"Everybody's sick!" cried Luella with a sort of despairing humor. "Everybody's sick but me, doctor."

"Everyone's sick!" Luella exclaimed with a touch of desperate humor. "Everyone's sick except for me, doctor."

"This one's not sick," he said after a moment. "Her heart is normal already. She just fainted."

"This one isn't sick," he said after a moment. "Her heart is fine already. She just fainted."

When she had helped the doctor raise the quickening body to a chair, Luella hurried into the nursery and bent over the baby's bed. She let down one of the iron sides quietly. The fever seemed to be gone now—the flush had faded away. She bent over to touch the small cheek.

When she had helped the doctor lift the stirring body into a chair, Luella rushed into the nursery and leaned over the baby's crib. She quietly lowered one of the metal sides. The fever seemed to have passed now—the redness had disappeared. She leaned down to touch the tiny cheek.

Suddenly Luella began to scream.

Suddenly, Luella started screaming.







IV

Even after her baby's funeral, Luella still couldn't believe that she had lost him. She came back to the apartment and walked around the nursery in a circle, saying his name. Then, frightened by grief, she sat down and stared at his white rocker with the red chicken painted on the side.

Even after her baby's funeral, Luella still couldn't believe she had lost him. She returned to the apartment and walked around the nursery in circles, repeating his name. Then, overwhelmed by grief, she sat down and stared at his white rocker with the red chicken painted on the side.

"What will become of me now?" she whispered to herself. "Something awful is going to happen to me when I realize that I'll never see Chuck any more!"

"What’s going to happen to me now?" she whispered to herself. "Something terrible is going to happen when I realize I’ll never see Chuck again!"

She wasn't sure yet. If she waited here till twilight, the nurse might still bring him in from his walk. She remembered a tragic confusion in the midst of which some one had told her that Chuck was dead, but if that was so, then why was his room waiting, with his small brush and comb still on the bureau, and why was she here at all?

She wasn't sure yet. If she waited here until evening, the nurse might still bring him in from his walk. She recalled a tragic mix-up where someone had told her that Chuck was dead, but if that were true, then why was his room ready, with his small brush and comb still on the dresser, and why was she even here?

"Mrs. Hemple."

"Ms. Hemple."

She looked up. The weary, shabby figure of Doctor Moon stood in the door.

She looked up. The tired, worn figure of Doctor Moon stood in the doorway.

"You go away," Luella said dully.

"You’re leaving," Luella said flatly.

"Your husband needs you."

"Your husband needs you."

"I don't care."

"I don't care."

Doctor Moon came a little way into the room.

Doctor Moon stepped a bit further into the room.

"I don't think you understand, Mrs. Hemple. He's been calling for you. You haven't any one now except him."

"I don't think you get it, Mrs. Hemple. He's been looking for you. You don't have anyone else right now except him."

"I hate you," she said suddenly.

"I hate you," she said all of a sudden.

"If you like. I promised nothing, you know. I do the best I can. You'll be better when you realize that your baby is gone, that you're not going to see him any more."

"If you want. I didn’t promise anything, you know. I’m doing my best. You’ll feel better when you accept that your baby is gone, that you’re not going to see him again."

Luella sprang to her feet.

Luella jumped up.

"My baby isn't dead!" she cried. "You lie! You always lie!" Her flashing eyes looked into his and caught something there, at once brutal and kind, that awed her and made her impotent and acquiescent. She lowered her own eyes in tired despair.

"My baby isn't dead!" she shouted. "You're lying! You always lie!" Her intense eyes locked onto his and saw something there, both harsh and gentle, that astonished her and left her feeling powerless and submissive. She dropped her gaze in exhausted despair.

"All right," she said wearily. "My baby is gone. What shall I do now?"

"Okay," she said tiredly. "My baby is gone. What am I supposed to do now?"

"Your husband is much better. All he needs is rest and kindness. But you must go to him and tell him what's happened."

"Your husband is doing much better. All he needs is rest and care. But you should go to him and tell him what’s happened."

"I suppose you think you made him better," said Luella bitterly.

"I guess you think you improved him," said Luella bitterly.

"Perhaps. He's nearly well."

"Maybe. He's almost better."

Nearly well—then the last link that held her to her home was broken. This part of her life was over—she could cut it off here, with its grief and oppression, and be off now, free as the wind.

Nearly well—then the last connection that kept her tied to her home was broken. This chapter of her life was over—she could leave it behind now, with its sorrow and burden, and be off, as free as the wind.

"I'll go to him in a minute," Luella said in a far-away voice. "Please leave me alone."

"I'll go to him in a minute," Luella said with a distant tone. "Please just leave me alone."

Doctor Moon's unwelcome shadow melted into the darkness of the hall.

Doctor Moon's unwanted shadow faded into the darkness of the hallway.

"I can go away," Luella whispered to herself. "Life has given me back freedom, in place of what it took away from me."

"I can leave," Luella whispered to herself. "Life has given me back my freedom, instead of what it took from me."

But she mustn't linger even a minute, or Life would bind her again and make her suffer once more. She called the apartment porter and asked that her trunk be brought up from the storeroom. Then she began taking things from the bureau and wardrobe, trying to approximate as nearly as possible the possessions that she had brought to her married life. She even found two old dresses that had formed part of her trousseau—out of style now, and a little tight in the hips—which she threw in with the rest. A new life. Charles was well again; and her baby, whom she had worshipped, and who had bored her a little, was dead.

But she couldn't waste even a minute, or life would trap her again and make her suffer once more. She called the apartment porter and asked him to bring her trunk up from the storage room. Then she started taking things out of the bureau and wardrobe, trying to gather the possessions she had brought into her married life. She even found two old dresses that were part of her wedding trousseau—outdated now, and a bit tight in the hips—which she added to the pile. A new life. Charles was better; and her baby, whom she had adored, and who had bored her a little, was gone.

When she had packed her trunk, she went into the kitchen automatically, to see about the preparations for dinner. She spoke to the cook about the special things for Charles and said that she herself was dining out. The sight of one of the small pans that had been used to cook Chuck's food caught her attention for a moment—but she stared at it unmoved. She looked into the ice-box and saw it was clean and fresh inside. Then she went into Charles's room. He was sitting up in bed, and the nurse was reading to him. His hair was almost white now, silvery white, and underneath it his eyes were huge and dark in his thin young face.

When she finished packing her suitcase, she automatically walked into the kitchen to check on dinner preparations. She talked to the cook about the special dishes for Charles and mentioned that she would be dining out. For a moment, she noticed one of the small pans that had been used to cook Chuck's food, but she stared at it without any emotion. She opened the fridge and saw it was clean and stocked. Then she went into Charles's room. He was sitting up in bed, and the nurse was reading to him. His hair was almost white now, a silvery white, and beneath it his eyes were large and dark in his thin young face.

"The baby is sick?" he asked in his own natural voice.

"The baby is sick?" he asked in his usual voice.

She nodded.

She agreed.

He hesitated, closing his eyes for a moment. Then he asked:

He paused, shutting his eyes for a moment. Then he asked:

"The baby is dead?"

"The baby has died?"

"Yes."

"Yeah."

For a long time he didn't speak. The nurse came over and put her hand on his forehead. Two large, strange tears welled from his eyes.

For a long time, he didn't say anything. The nurse approached and placed her hand on his forehead. Two large, unusual tears filled his eyes.

"I knew the baby was dead."

"I knew the baby was dead."

After another long wait, the nurse spoke:

After another long wait, the nurse said:

"The doctor said he could be taken out for a drive to-day while there was still sunshine. He needs a little change."

"The doctor said he could go out for a drive today while it's still sunny. He needs a little change."

"Yes."

Yes.

"I thought"—the nurse hesitated—"I thought perhaps it would do you both good, Mrs. Hemple, if you took him instead of me."

"I thought"—the nurse paused—"I thought it might be good for both of you, Mrs. Hemple, if you took him instead of me."

Luella shook her head hastily.

Luella quickly shook her head.

"Oh, no," she said. "I don't feel able to, to-day."

"Oh, no," she said. "I don't feel up to it today."

The nurse looked at her oddly. With a sudden feeling of pity for Charles, Luella bent down gently and kissed his cheek. Then, without a word, she went to her own room, put on her hat and coat, and with her suitcase started for the front door.

The nurse gave her a strange look. Suddenly feeling sorry for Charles, Luella leaned down softly and kissed his cheek. Then, without saying anything, she went to her room, put on her hat and coat, and grabbed her suitcase as she headed to the front door.

Immediately she saw that there was a shadow in the hall. If she could get past that shadow, she was free. If she could go to the right or left of it, or order it out of her way! But, stubbornly, it refused to move, and with a little cry she sank down into a hall chair.

Immediately she noticed a shadow in the hallway. If she could get past that shadow, she would be free. If she could go to the right or left of it, or push it out of her way! But, stubbornly, it refused to move, and with a small cry, she sank down into a chair in the hall.

"I thought you'd gone," she wailed. "I told you to go away."

"I thought you left," she cried. "I told you to leave."

"I'm going soon," said Doctor Moon, "but I don't want you to make an old mistake."

"I'm leaving soon," said Doctor Moon, "but I don't want you to repeat an old mistake."

"I'm not making a mistake—I'm leaving my mistakes behind."

"I'm not making a mistake—I'm leaving my past behind."

"You're trying to leave yourself behind, but you can't. The more you try to run away from yourself, the more you'll have yourself with you."

"You're trying to escape from yourself, but you can't. The harder you attempt to run away from who you are, the more you're going to have to deal with yourself."

"But I've got to go away," she insisted wildly. "Out of this house of death and failure!"

"But I have to get out of here," she insisted frantically. "Away from this house of death and failure!"

"You haven't failed yet. You've only begun." She stood up.

"You haven't failed yet. You've just started." She stood up.

"Let me pass."

"Let me through."

"No."

"Nope."

Abruptly she gave way, as she always did when he talked to her. She covered her face with her hands and burst into tears.

Abruptly, she broke down, just like she always did when he spoke to her. She covered her face with her hands and started crying.

"Go back into that room and tell the nurse you'll take your husband for a drive," he suggested.

"Go back into that room and tell the nurse you’re taking your husband for a drive," he suggested.

"I can't."

"I can't."

"Oh, yes."

"Yes, of course."

Once more Luella looked at him, and knew that she would obey. With the conviction that her spirit was broken at last, she took up her suitcase and walked back through the hall.

Once again, Luella glanced at him and realized that she would comply. With the sense that her resolve was finally shattered, she picked up her suitcase and walked back through the hall.







V

The nature of the curious influence that Doctor Moon exerted upon her, Luella could not guess. But as the days passed, she found herself doing many things that had been repugnant to her before. She stayed at home with Charles; and when he grew better, she went out with him sometimes to dinner, or the theatre, but only when he expressed a wish. She visited the kitchen every day, and kept an unwilling eye on the house, at first with a horror that it would go wrong again, then from habit. And she felt that it was all somehow mixed up with Doctor Moon—it was something he kept telling her about life, or almost telling her, and yet concealing from her, as though he were afraid to have her know.

The nature of the strange influence that Doctor Moon had on her was something Luella couldn’t quite figure out. But as the days went by, she found herself doing many things that she used to find repulsive. She stayed home with Charles, and when he started to feel better, she would sometimes go out to dinner or the theater with him, but only when he wanted to. She checked the kitchen every day and kept a reluctant eye on the house, first out of fear it would fall apart again, then just out of habit. She sensed that it was all somehow connected to Doctor Moon—it was something he kept hinting at about life, or almost hinting at, while still holding back, as if he was afraid for her to know.

With the resumption of their normal life, she found that Charles was less nervous. His habit of rubbing his face had left him, and if the world seemed less gay and happy to her than it had before, she experienced a certain peace, sometimes, that she had never known.

With their normal life back on track, she noticed that Charles was less anxious. He had stopped rubbing his face, and even though the world seemed less joyful and bright to her than before, she sometimes felt a sense of peace that she had never experienced.

Then, one afternoon, Doctor Moon told her suddenly that he was going away.

Then, one afternoon, Doctor Moon suddenly told her that he was leaving.

"Do you mean for good?" she demanded with a touch of panic.

"Are you serious for good?" she asked, a bit panicked.

"For good."

"For good."

For a strange moment she wasn't sure whether she was glad or sorry.

For a weird moment, she couldn't tell if she was happy or sad.

"You don't need me any more," he said quietly. "You don't realize it, but you've grown up."

"You don't need me anymore," he said softly. "You don't even realize it, but you've matured."

He came over and, sitting on the couch beside her, took her hand.

He came over and, sitting on the couch next to her, took her hand.

Luella sat silent and tense—listening.

Luella sat quietly and tense—listening.

"We make an agreement with children that they can sit in the audience without helping to make the play," he said, "but if they still sit in the audience after they're grown, somebody's got to work double time for them, so that they can enjoy the light and glitter of the world."

"We come to an understanding with kids that they can watch the show without being involved in putting it on," he said, "but if they still just watch when they’re adults, someone has to work extra hard for them, so they can appreciate the shine and excitement of life."

"But I want the light and glitter," she protested. "That's all there is in life. There can't be anything wrong in wanting to have things warm."

"But I want the brightness and sparkle," she argued. "That's all there is in life. There can't be anything wrong with wanting to feel cozy."

"Things will still be warm."

"Things will still be cozy."

"How?"

"How?"

"Things will warm themselves from you."

"Things will heat up because of you."

Luella looked at him, startled.

Luella stared at him, surprised.

"It's your turn to be the centre, to give others what was given to you for so long. You've got to give security to young people and peace to your husband, and a sort of charity to the old. You've got to let the people who work for you depend on you. You've got to cover up a few more troubles than you show, and be a little more patient than the average person, and do a little more instead of a little less than your share. The light and glitter of the world is in your hands."

"It's your turn to be the center, to give others what was given to you for so long. You've got to provide security for young people, peace for your husband, and some kindness for the elderly. You need to allow the people who work for you to rely on you. You should hide a few more troubles than you reveal, be a bit more patient than most people, and do a bit more than your fair share. The brightness and sparkle of the world are in your hands."

He broke off suddenly.

He suddenly stopped.

"Get up," he said, "and go to that mirror and tell me what you see."

"Get up," he said, "and go to that mirror and tell me what you see."

Obediently Luella got up and went close to a purchase of her honeymoon, a Venetian pier-glass on the wall.

Obediently, Luella got up and moved closer to a piece she had bought for her honeymoon, a Venetian pier glass hanging on the wall.

"I see new lines in my face here," she said, raising her finger and placing it between her eyes, "and a few shadows at the sides that might be—that are little wrinkles."

"I see new lines on my face here," she said, raising her finger and placing it between her eyes, "and some shadows on the sides that might be—that are little wrinkles."

"Do you care?"

"Do you care?"

She turned quickly. "No," she said.

She turned quickly. "No," she said.

"Do you realize that Chuck is gone? That you'll never see him any more?"

"Do you realize that Chuck is gone? That you’ll never see him again?"

"Yes." She passed her hands slowly over her eyes. "But that all seems so vague and far away."

"Yes." She slowly rubbed her eyes. "But that all feels really vague and distant."

"Vague and far away," he repeated; and then: "And are you afraid of me now?"

"Vague and distant," he repeated; and then asked, "Are you scared of me now?"

"Not any longer," she said, and she added frankly, "now that you're going away."

"Not anymore," she said, and she added honestly, "now that you're leaving."

He moved toward the door. He seemed particularly weary to-night, as though he could hardly move about at all.

He walked over to the door. He looked especially tired tonight, as if he could barely move at all.

"The household here is in your keeping," he said in a tired whisper. "If there is any light and warmth in it, it will be your light and warmth; if it is happy, it will be because you've made it so. Happy things may come to you in life, but you must never go seeking them any more. It is your turn to make the fire."

"The household here is in your hands," he said in a weary whisper. "If there's any light and warmth in it, it will be your light and warmth; if it's happy, it will be because you created that happiness. Good things might come to you in life, but you shouldn't go looking for them anymore. It's your turn to bring the warmth."

"Won't you sit down a moment longer?" Luella ventured.

"Could you sit down for just a moment longer?" Luella asked.

"There isn't time." His voice was so low now that she could scarcely hear the words. "But remember that whatever suffering comes to you, I can always help you—if it is something that can be helped. I promise nothing."

"There isn't time." His voice was so low now that she could barely hear the words. "But remember that whatever suffering you go through, I can always help you—if it's something that can be fixed. I promise nothing."

He opened the door. She must find out now what she most wanted to know, before it was too late.

He opened the door. She needed to discover now what she truly wanted to know, before it was too late.

"What have you done to me?" she cried. "Why have I no sorrow left for Chuck—for anything at all? Tell me; I almost see, yet I can't see. Before you go—tell me who you are!"

"What have you done to me?" she cried. "Why don’t I feel sad for Chuck— or for anything at all? Tell me; I can almost see, but I can't. Before you leave—tell me who you are!"

"Who am I?—" His worn suit paused in the doorway. His round, pale face seemed to dissolve into two faces, a dozen faces, a score, each one different yet the same—sad, happy, tragic, indifferent, resigned—until threescore Doctor Moons were ranged like an infinite series of reflections, like months stretching into the vista of the past.

"Who am I?—" His tattered suit stopped at the doorway. His round, pale face seemed to turn into multiple faces—dozens of them, each one different yet the same—sad, happy, tragic, indifferent, resigned—until there were sixty Doctor Moons lined up like an endless series of reflections, like months stretching back into the distance of the past.

"Who am I?" he repeated; "I am five years." The door closed.

"Who am I?" he asked again; "I am five years old." The door shut.



At six o'clock Charles Hemple came home, and as usual Luella met him in the hall. Except that now his hair was dead white, his long illness of two years had left no mark upon him. Luella herself was more noticeably changed—she was a little stouter, and there were those lines around her eyes that had come when Chuck died one evening back in 1921. But she was still lovely, and there was a mature kindness about her face at twenty-eight, as if suffering had touched her only reluctantly and then hurried away.

At six o'clock, Charles Hemple came home, and as usual, Luella met him in the hall. Other than the fact that his hair was now completely white, his two-year illness hadn't really changed him. Luella, on the other hand, was more noticeably different—she had gained a little weight, and there were lines around her eyes that appeared when Chuck died one evening back in 1921. But she was still beautiful, and there was a warm kindness in her face at twenty-eight, as if pain had only brushed against her briefly before moving on.

"Ede and her husband are coming to dinner," she said. "I've got theatre tickets, but if you're tired, I don't care whether we go or not."

"Ede and her husband are coming over for dinner," she said. "I have theater tickets, but if you're tired, it doesn't matter to me if we go or not."

"I'd like to go."

"I want to go."

She looked at him.

She glanced at him.

"You wouldn't."

"You wouldn't."

"I really would."

"I totally would."

"We'll see how you feel after dinner."

"We'll see how you feel after dinner."

He put his arm around her waist. Together they walked into the nursery where the two children were waiting up to say good night.

He wrapped his arm around her waist. Together, they walked into the nursery where the two kids were waiting up to say good night.







HOT AND COLD BLOOD

One day when the young Mathers had been married for about a year, Jaqueline walked into the rooms of the hardware brokerage which her husband carried on with more than average success. At the open door of the inner office she stopped and said: "Oh, excuse me—" She had interrupted an apparently trivial yet somehow intriguing scene. A young man named Bronson whom she knew slightly was standing with her husband; the latter had risen from his desk. Bronson seized her husband's hand and shook it earnestly—something more than earnestly. When they heard Jaqueline's step in the doorway both men turned and Jaqueline saw that Bronson's eyes were red.

One day, about a year after the young Mathers got married, Jaqueline walked into the hardware brokerage that her husband managed with more than average success. She paused at the open door of the inner office and said, "Oh, excuse me—" She had interrupted what seemed like an unimportant but somehow interesting moment. A young man named Bronson, whom she knew slightly, was standing with her husband, who had gotten up from his desk. Bronson grabbed her husband's hand and shook it with a lot of enthusiasm—more than just enthusiasm. When Jaqueline stepped into the doorway, both men turned to look at her, and she noticed that Bronson's eyes were red.

A moment later he came out, passing her with a somewhat embarrassed "How do you do?" She walked into her husband's office.

A moment later, he came out, awkwardly saying, "How do you do?" as he passed her. She went into her husband's office.

"What was Ed Bronson doing here?" she demanded curiously, and at once.

"What was Ed Bronson doing here?" she asked, clearly intrigued.

Jim Mather smiled at her, half shutting his gray eyes, and drew her quietly to a sitting position on his desk.

Jim Mather smiled at her, partly closing his gray eyes, and gently pulled her into a seated position on his desk.

"He just dropped in for a minute," he answered easily. "How's everything at home?"

"He just stopped by for a minute," he replied casually. "How's everything at home?"

"All right." She looked at him with curiosity. "What did he want?" she insisted.

"Okay." She stared at him with interest. "What did he want?" she pressed.

"Oh, he just wanted to see me about something."

"Oh, he just wanted to talk to me about something."

"What?"

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, just something. Business."

"Oh, just something for work."

"Why were his eyes red?"

"Why were his eyes red?"

"Were they?" He looked at her innocently, and then suddenly they both began to laugh. Jaqueline rose and walked around the desk and plumped down into his swivel chair.

"Were they?" He looked at her with an innocent expression, and then suddenly they both started laughing. Jaqueline got up, walked around the desk, and plopped down into his swivel chair.

"You might as well tell me," she announced cheerfully, "because I'm going to stay right here till you do."

"You might as well just tell me," she said happily, "because I'm going to stick around right here until you do."

"Well—" he hesitated, frowning. "He wanted me to do him a little favor."

"Well—" he paused, frowning. "He wanted me to do him a small favor."

Then Jaqueline understood, or rather her mind leaped half accidentally to the truth.

Then Jaqueline understood, or rather her mind stumbled onto the truth.

"Oh." Her voice tightened a little. "You've been lending him some money."

"Oh." Her voice tensed a bit. "You've been giving him some money."

"Only a little."

"Just a bit."

"How much?"

"What's the price?"

"Only three hundred."

"Just three hundred."

"Only three hundred." The voice was of the texture of Bessemer cooled. "How much do we spend a month, Jim?"

"Only three hundred." The voice was as cold as Bessemer steel. "How much do we spend each month, Jim?"

"Why—why, about five or six hundred, I guess." He shifted uneasily. "Listen, Jack. Bronson'll pay that back. He's in a little trouble. He's made a mistake about a girl out in Woodmere——"

"Why—why, maybe five or six hundred, I think." He fidgeted nervously. "Listen, Jack. Bronson will pay that back. He's dealing with some trouble. He messed up with a girl out in Woodmere——"

"And he knows you're famous for being an easy mark, so he comes to you," interrupted Jaqueline.

"And he knows you're known for being an easy target, so he comes to you," Jaqueline interrupted.

"No." He denied this formally.

"No." He officially denied this.

"Don't you suppose I could use that three hundred dollars?" she demanded. "How about that trip to New York we couldn't afford last November?"

"Don't you think I could really use that three hundred dollars?" she asked. "What about that trip to New York we couldn’t afford last November?"

The lingering smile faded from Mather's face. He went over and shut the door to the outer office.

The lingering smile disappeared from Mather's face. He walked over and closed the door to the outer office.

"Listen, Jack," he began, "you don't understand this. Bronson's one of the men I eat lunch with almost every day. We used to play together when we were kids, we went to school together. Don't you see that I'm just the person he'd be right to come to in trouble? And that's just why I couldn't refuse."

"Listen, Jack," he started, "you don't get it. Bronson's one of the guys I have lunch with almost every day. We used to play together when we were kids, and we went to school together. Don’t you see that I’m exactly the person he would turn to in trouble? And that’s why I couldn’t say no."

Jaqueline gave her shoulders a twist as if to shake off this reasoning.

Jaqueline twisted her shoulders as if to shake off this way of thinking.

"Well," she answered decidedly, "all I know is that he's no good. He's always lit and if he doesn't choose to work he has no business living off the work you do."

"Well," she replied firmly, "all I know is that he's trouble. He's always drunk, and if he doesn’t want to work, he has no right to live off the money you earn."

They were sitting now on either side of the desk, each having adopted the attitude of one talking to a child. They began their sentences with "Listen!" and their faces wore expressions of rather tried patience.

They were sitting now on either side of the desk, each adopting the attitude of someone talking to a child. They started their sentences with "Listen!" and their faces showed expressions of tired patience.

"If you can't understand, I can't tell you," Mather concluded, at the end of fifteen minutes, on what was, for him, an irritated key. "Such obligations do happen to exist sometimes among men and they have to be met. It's more complicated than just refusing to lend money, especially in a business like mine where so much depends on the good-will of men down-town."

"If you can't understand, I can't explain it to you," Mather concluded after fifteen minutes, sounding irritated. "Sometimes these obligations exist among men, and they have to be fulfilled. It's more complicated than just refusing to lend money, especially in a business like mine where so much relies on the goodwill of people in the city."

Mather was putting on his coat as he said this. He was going home with her on the street-car to lunch. They were between automobiles—they had sold their old one and were going to get a new one in the spring.

Mather was putting on his jacket as he said this. He was heading home with her on the streetcar to have lunch. They were between cars—they had sold their old one and were planning to get a new one in the spring.

Now the street-car, on this particular day, was distinctly unfortunate. The argument in the office might have been forgotten under other circumstances, but what followed irritated the scratch until it became a serious temperamental infection.

Now the streetcar, on this particular day, was definitely having a bad time. The argument in the office might have been forgotten under different circumstances, but what happened next aggravated the issue until it turned into a serious emotional problem.

They found a seat near the front of the car. It was late February and an eager, unpunctilious sun was turning the scrawny street snow into dirty, cheerful rivulets that echoed in the gutters. Because of this the car was less full than usual—there was no one standing. The motorman had even opened his window and a yellow breeze was blowing the late breath of winter from the car.

They found a seat near the front of the car. It was late February, and an eager, relaxed sun was turning the thin layer of snow on the streets into dirty, cheerful streams that flowed into the gutters. Because of this, the car was less crowded than usual—there was no one standing. The motorman had even opened his window, and a warm breeze was blowing away the last remnants of winter from the car.

It occurred pleasurably to Jaqueline that her husband sitting beside her was handsome and kind above other men. It was silly to try to change him. Perhaps Bronson might return the money after all, and anyhow three hundred dollars wasn't a fortune. Of course he had no business doing it—but then—

It occurred to Jaqueline with delight that her husband sitting next to her was more handsome and kind than other men. It was pointless to try to change him. Maybe Bronson would give the money back after all, and anyway, three hundred dollars wasn't a fortune. Of course, he shouldn't have done it—but then—

Her musings were interrupted as an eddy of passengers pushed up the aisle. Jaqueline wished they'd put their hands over their mouths when they coughed, and she hoped that Jim would get a new machine pretty soon. You couldn't tell what disease you'd run into in these trolleys.

Her thoughts were interrupted as a wave of passengers pushed up the aisle. Jaqueline wished they would cover their mouths when they coughed, and she hoped that Jim would get a new machine soon. You never knew what germs you might catch on these trolleys.

She turned to Jim to discuss the subject—but Jim had stood up and was offering his seat to a woman who had been standing beside him in the aisle. The woman, without so much as a grunt, sat down. Jaqueline frowned.

She turned to Jim to talk about the topic—but Jim had gotten up and was offering his seat to a woman who had been standing next to him in the aisle. The woman, without even a word, sat down. Jaqueline frowned.

The woman was about fifty and enormous. When she first sat down she was content merely to fill the unoccupied part of the seat, but after a moment she began to expand and to spread her great rolls of fat over a larger and larger area until the process took on the aspect of violent trespassing. When the car rocked in Jaqueline's direction the woman slid with it, but when it rocked back she managed by some exercise of ingenuity to dig in and hold the ground won.

The woman was around fifty and very large. When she first sat down, she was okay just taking up the empty space on the seat, but after a moment, she started to spread out, letting her huge rolls of fat cover more and more area until it looked like she was aggressively encroaching on the space. When the car swayed toward Jaqueline, the woman slid with it, but when it swayed back, she cleverly found a way to dig in and keep her ground.

Jaqueline caught her husband's eye—he was swaying on a strap—and in an angry glance conveyed to him her entire disapproval of his action. He apologized mutely and became urgently engrossed in a row of car cards. The fat woman moved once more against Jaqueline—she was now practically overlapping her. Then she turned puffy, disagreeable eyes full on Mrs. James Mather, and coughed rousingly in her face.

Jaqueline caught her husband's eye—he was swaying on a strap—and with an angry glance, she silently expressed her disapproval of his actions. He silently apologized and quickly became absorbed in a row of train cards. The heavyset woman shifted again against Jaqueline—she was now almost jostling her. Then she turned her puffy, unpleasant eyes directly at Mrs. James Mather and coughed loudly in her face.

With a smothered exclamation Jaqueline got to her feet, squeezed with brisk violence past the fleshy knees, and made her way, pink with rage, toward the rear of the car. There she seized a strap, and there she was presently joined by her husband in a state of considerable alarm.

With a muffled shout, Jaqueline jumped up, forcefully squeezed past the chubby knees, and stormed toward the back of the car, her face flushed with anger. There she grabbed a strap, and soon her husband joined her, looking quite alarmed.

They exchanged no word, but stood silently side by side for ten minutes while a row of men sitting in front of them crackled their newspapers and kept their eyes fixed virtuously upon the day's cartoons.

They didn't say a word, but stood silently next to each other for ten minutes while a line of men sitting in front of them rustled their newspapers and kept their eyes dutifully on the day's cartoons.

When they left the car at last Jaqueline exploded.

When they finally got out of the car, Jaqueline exploded.

"You big fool!" she cried wildly. "Did you see that horrible woman you gave your seat to? Why don't you consider me occasionally instead of every fat selfish washwoman you meet?"

"You big fool!" she shouted frantically. "Did you see that awful woman you gave your seat to? Why don’t you think about me sometimes instead of every selfish, overweight laundress you come across?"

"How should I know——"

"How am I supposed to know——"

But Jaqueline was as angry at him as she had ever been—it was unusual for any one to get angry at him.

But Jaqueline was angrier at him than she had ever been—it was unusual for anyone to get angry at him.

"You didn't see any of those men getting up for me, did you? No wonder you were too tired to go out last Monday night. You'd probably given your seat to some—to some horrible, Polish washwoman that's strong as an ox and likes to stand up!"

"You didn't see any of those guys getting up for me, did you? No wonder you were too tired to go out last Monday night. You probably gave your seat to some—some awful Polish washwoman who's as strong as an ox and likes to stand up!"

They were walking along the slushy street stepping wildly into great pools of water. Confused and distressed, Mather could utter neither apology nor defense.

They were walking down the slushy street, stepping carelessly into large puddles. Confused and upset, Mather couldn't say either sorry or defend himself.

Jaqueline broke off and then turned to him with a curious light in her eyes. The words in which she couched her summary of the situation were probably the most disagreeable that had ever been addressed to him in his life.

Jaqueline paused and then looked at him with a curious glint in her eyes. The way she summarized the situation was likely the most unpleasant thing anyone had ever said to him in his life.

"The trouble with you, Jim, the reason you're such an easy mark, is that you've got the ideas of a college freshman—you're a professional nice fellow."

"The problem with you, Jim, the reason you’re so easy to take advantage of, is that you have the mindset of a college freshman—you’re a really nice guy."







II

The incident and the unpleasantness were forgotten. Mather's vast good nature had smoothed over the roughness within an hour. References to it fell with a dying cadence throughout several days—then ceased and tumbled into the limbo of oblivion. I say "limbo," for oblivion is, unfortunately, never quite oblivious. The subject was drowned out by the fact that Jaqueline with her customary spirit and coolness began the long, arduous, up-hill business of bearing a child. Her natural traits and prejudices became intensified and she was less inclined to let things pass.

The incident and the discomfort were forgotten. Mather's incredible good nature smoothed everything over within an hour. Mentions of it faded away over the next few days—then stopped completely and fell into the depths of forgetfulness. I say "depths," because unfortunately, forgetfulness is never truly oblivious. The topic was overshadowed by the fact that Jaqueline, with her usual spirit and calmness, started the long, challenging journey of having a baby. Her natural traits and biases became stronger, and she was less willing to let things slide.

It was April now, and as yet they had not bought a car. Mather had discovered that he was saving practically nothing and that in another half-year he would have a family on his hands. It worried him. A wrinkle—small, tentative, undisturbing—appeared for the first time as a shadow around his honest, friendly eyes. He worked far into the spring twilight now, and frequently brought home with him the overflow from his office day. The new car would have to be postponed for a while.

It was now April, and they still hadn't bought a car. Mather realized he wasn’t saving much at all and that in another six months he would have a family to support. This worried him. A slight, hesitant wrinkle—subtle but noticeable—began to form around his sincere, friendly eyes. He worked late into the spring evenings and often brought home extra work from the office. The new car would have to wait for a while.

April afternoon, and all the city shopping on Washington Street. Jaqueline walked slowly past the shops, brooding without fear or depression on the shape into which her life was now being arbitrarily forced. Dry summer dust was in the wind; the sun bounded cheerily from the plate-glass windows and made radiant gasoline rainbows where automobile drippings had formed pools on the street.

April afternoon, and all the city shopping on Washington Street. Jaqueline walked slowly past the stores, thinking without fear or sadness about the shape her life was currently being pushed into. Dry summer dust swirled in the wind; the sun cheerfully bounced off the plate-glass windows, creating bright rainbows from the gasoline puddles left by cars on the street.

Jaqueline stopped. Not six feet from her a bright new sport roadster was parked at the curb. Beside it stood two men in conversation, and at the moment when she identified one of them as young Bronson she heard him say to the other in a casual tone:

Jaqueline stopped. Not six feet from her, a shiny new sports car was parked at the curb. Next to it stood two men chatting, and just as she recognized one of them as young Bronson, she heard him say to the other in a relaxed tone:

"What do you think of it? Just got it this morning."

"What do you think? I just got it this morning."

Jaqueline turned abruptly and walked with quick tapping steps to her husband's office. With her usual curt nod to the stenographer she strode by her to the inner room. Mather looked up from his desk in surprise at her brusque entry.

Jaqueline turned suddenly and walked with quick, tapping steps to her husband's office. She gave her usual brief nod to the stenographer as she passed by her to the inner room. Mather looked up from his desk, surprised by her abrupt entrance.

"Jim," she began breathlessly, "did Bronson ever pay you that three hundred?"

"Jim," she started, out of breath, "did Bronson ever pay you that three hundred?"

"Why—no," he answered hesitantly, "not yet. He was in here last week and he explained that he was a little bit hard up."

"Why—no," he replied hesitantly, "not yet. He was here last week and said he was a bit short on cash."

Her eyes gleamed with angry triumph.

Her eyes sparkled with furious victory.

"Oh, he did?" she snapped. "Well, he's just bought a new sport roadster that must have cost anyhow twenty-five hundred dollars."

"Oh, he did?" she shot back. "Well, he just bought a new sports car that must have cost at least twenty-five hundred bucks."

He shook his head, unbelieving.

He shook his head, in disbelief.

"I saw it," she insisted. "I heard him say he'd just bought it."

"I saw it," she insisted. "I heard him say he just bought it."

"He told me he was hard up," repeated Mather helplessly.

"He told me he was really struggling," Mather repeated helplessly.

Jaqueline audibly gave up by heaving a profound noise, a sort of groanish sigh.

Jaqueline let out a deep noise, something like a groan or a sigh.

"He was using you! He knew you were easy and he was using you. Can't you see? He wanted you to buy him the car and you did!" She laughed bitterly. "He's probably roaring his sides out to think how easily he worked you."

"He was using you! He knew you were an easy target, and he was using you. Can't you see? He wanted you to buy him the car, and you did!" She laughed bitterly. "He's probably laughing his head off at how easily he manipulated you."

"Oh, no," protested Mather with a shocked expression, "you must have mistaken somebody for him——"

"Oh, no," Mather exclaimed in disbelief, "you must have confused someone for him—"

"We walk—and he rides on our money," she interrupted excitedly. "Oh, it's rich—it's rich. If it wasn't so maddening, it'd be just absurd. Look here—!" Her voice grew sharper, more restrained—there was a touch of contempt in it now. "You spend half your time doing things for people who don't give a damn about you or what becomes of you. You give up your seat on the street-car to hogs, and come home too dead tired to even move. You're on all sorts of committees that take at least an hour a day out of your business and you don't get a cent out of them. You're—eternally—being used! I won't stand it! I thought I married a man—not a professional Samaritan who's going to fetch and carry for the world!"

"We walk—and he rides on our money," she interrupted excitedly. "Oh, it's so rich—it's so rich. If it wasn't so frustrating, it would be just absurd. Look here—!" Her voice became sharper, more restrained—there was a hint of contempt in it now. "You spend half your time doing things for people who don't care about you or what happens to you. You give up your seat on the streetcar to hogs, and come home too dead tired to even move. You're on all sorts of committees that take at least an hour a day out of your business and you don't get a dime from them. You're—eternally—being used! I won't put up with it! I thought I married a man—not a professional Samaritan who's going to fetch and carry for the world!"

As she finished her invective Jaqueline reeled suddenly and sank into a chair—nervously exhausted.

As she wrapped up her rant, Jaqueline suddenly staggered and collapsed into a chair—nervously worn out.

"Just at this time," she went on brokenly, "I need you. I need your strength and your health and your arms around me. And if you—if you just give it to every one, it's spread so thin when it reaches me——"

"Right now," she continued with difficulty, "I really need you. I need your strength, your health, and your arms around me. And if you—if you just give it to everyone, it’s spread so thin by the time it gets to me——"

He knelt by her side, moving her tired young head until it lay against his shoulder.

He knelt beside her, adjusting her tired young head until it rested on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Jaqueline," he said humbly, "I'll be more careful. I didn't realize what I was doing."

"I'm sorry, Jaqueline," he said quietly, "I'll be more careful. I didn't realize what I was doing."

"You're the dearest person in the world," murmured Jaqueline huskily, "but I want all of you and the best of you for me."

"You're the most loved person in the world," Jaqueline said softly, "but I want all of you and the best of you just for me."

He smoothed her hair over and over. For a few minutes they rested there silently, having attained a sort of Nirvana of peace and understanding. Then Jaqueline reluctantly raised her head as they were interrupted by the voice of Miss Clancy in the doorway.

He ran his fingers through her hair repeatedly. They sat there in silence for a few minutes, reaching a kind of blissful peace and understanding. Then Jaqueline hesitantly lifted her head as Miss Clancy's voice came from the doorway.

"Oh, I beg your pardon."

"Oh, my apologies."

"What is it?"

"What’s that?"

"A boy's here with some boxes. It's C.O.D."

"A boy is here with some boxes. It's cash on delivery."

Mather rose and followed Miss Clancy into the outer office.

Mather got up and followed Miss Clancy into the outer office.

"It's fifty dollars."

"It's $50."

He searched his wallet—he had omitted to go to the bank that morning.

He checked his wallet—he had forgotten to go to the bank that morning.

"Just a minute," he said abstractedly. His mind was on Jaqueline, Jaqueline who seemed forlorn in her trouble, waiting for him in the other room. He walked into the corridor, and opening the door of "Clayton and Drake, Brokers" across the way, swung wide a low gate and went up to a man seated at a desk.

"Hold on a sec," he said absentmindedly. His thoughts were on Jaqueline, Jaqueline who looked lost in her problems, waiting for him in the other room. He walked into the hallway, opened the door to "Clayton and Drake, Brokers" across the way, swung open a low gate, and approached a man sitting at a desk.

"Morning, Fred," said Mather.

"Morning, Fred," Mather said.

Drake, a little man of thirty with pince-nez and bald head, rose and shook hands.

Drake, a small man of thirty with pince-nez glasses and a bald head, stood up and shook hands.

"Morning, Jim. What can I do for you?"

"Good morning, Jim. How can I help you?"

"Why, a boy's in my office with some stuff C.O.D. and I haven't a cent. Can you let me have fifty till this afternoon?"

"There's a kid in my office with some stuff to collect cash on delivery, and I don't have a penny. Can you lend me fifty bucks until this afternoon?"

Drake looked closely at Mather. Then, slowly and startlingly, he shook his head—not up and down but from side to side.

Drake took a close look at Mather. Then, slowly and surprisingly, he shook his head—not up and down but side to side.

"Sorry, Jim," he answered stiffly, "I've made a rule never to make a personal loan to anybody on any conditions. I've seen it break up too many friendships."

"Sorry, Jim," he replied awkwardly, "I’ve made it a rule never to lend money to anyone under any circumstances. I’ve seen it ruin too many friendships."

"What?"

"What’s up?"

Mather had come out of his abstraction now, and the monosyllable held an undisguised quality of shock. Then his natural tact acted automatically, springing to his aid and dictating his words though his brain was suddenly numb. His immediate instinct was to put Drake at ease in his refusal.

Mather had snapped out of his daydream, and the single word clearly showed his shock. Then his natural sensitivity kicked in, guiding his response even though his mind felt suddenly blank. His first instinct was to reassure Drake despite his refusal.

"Oh, I see." He nodded his head as if in full agreement, as if he himself had often considered adopting just such a rule. "Oh, I see how you feel. Well—I just—I wouldn't have you break a rule like that for anything. It's probably a good thing."

"Oh, I get it." He nodded as if he completely agreed, like he had thought about following that kind of rule himself. "Oh, I understand how you feel. Well—I just—I wouldn't want you to break a rule like that for anything. It's probably a good idea."

They talked for a minute longer. Drake justified his position easily; he had evidently rehearsed the part a great deal. He treated Mather to an exquisitely frank smile.

They talked for another minute. Drake defended his position effortlessly; he had clearly practiced a lot. He gave Mather a refreshingly honest smile.

Mather went politely back to his office leaving Drake under the impression that the latter was the most tactful man in the city. Mather knew how to leave people with that impression. But when he entered his own office and saw his wife staring dismally out the window into the sunshine he clinched his hands, and his mouth moved in an unfamiliar shape.

Mather politely returned to his office, leaving Drake with the idea that he was the most tactful man in the city. Mather knew how to create that impression. But when he walked into his own office and saw his wife staring sadly out the window into the sunshine, he clenched his fists, and his mouth formed an unfamiliar expression.

"All right, Jack," he said slowly, "I guess you're right about most things, and I'm wrong as hell."

"Okay, Jack," he said slowly, "I guess you're right about a lot of things, and I’m totally wrong."







III

During the next three months Mather thought back through many years. He had had an unusually happy life. Those frictions between man and man, between man and society, which harden most of us into a rough and cynical quarrelling trim, had been conspicuous by their infrequency in his life. It had never occurred to him before that he had paid a price for this immunity, but now he perceived how here and there, and constantly, he had taken the rough side of the road to avoid enmity or argument, or even question.

For the next three months, Mather reflected on many years. He had lived an unusually happy life. The conflicts between people, and between individuals and society, which usually toughen most of us into rough and cynical arguments, had been rare in his experience. He had never realized before that he had paid a price for this protection, but now he recognized how, time and again, he had chosen the easier path to avoid conflict, disagreement, or even questioning.

There was, for instance, much money that he had lent privately, about thirteen hundred dollars in all, which he realized, in his new enlightenment, he would never see again. It had taken Jaqueline's harder, feminine intelligence to know this. It was only now when he owed it to Jaqueline to have money in the bank that he missed these loans at all.

There was, for example, a lot of money he had lent out privately, around thirteen hundred dollars in total, which he now realized, with his newfound understanding, he would never get back. It took Jaqueline's sharper, more intuitive understanding to see this. It was only now, when he felt he should have money in the bank for Jaqueline, that he noticed these loans at all.

He realized too the truth of her assertions that he was continually doing favors—a little something here, a little something there; the sum total, in time and energy expended, was appalling. It had pleased him to do the favors. He reacted warmly to being thought well of, but he wondered now if he had not been merely indulging a selfish vanity of his own. In suspecting this, he was, as usual, not quite fair to himself. The truth was that Mather was essentially and enormously romantic.

He also came to understand the truth of her claims that he was always doing favors—a little something here, a little something there; the total amount of time and energy spent was overwhelming. He had enjoyed doing those favors. He liked being seen in a good light, but now he questioned whether he had simply been indulging his own selfish vanity. In considering this, he was, as usual, not completely fair to himself. The reality was that Mather was fundamentally and incredibly romantic.

He decided that these expenditures of himself made him tired at night, less efficient in his work, and less of a prop to Jaqueline, who, as the months passed, grew more heavy and bored, and sat through the long summer afternoons on the screened veranda waiting for his step at the end of the walk.

He realized that these efforts drained him by night, made him less effective at work, and less supportive to Jaqueline, who, as the months went by, became more burdened and bored, spending long summer afternoons on the screened porch waiting for him to come back from the end of the path.

Lest that step falter, Mather gave up many things—among them the presidency of his college alumni association. He let slip other labors less prized. When he was put on a committee, men had a habit of electing him chairman and retiring into a dim background, where they were inconveniently hard to find. He was done with such things now. Also he avoided those who were prone to ask favors—fleeing a certain eager look that would be turned on him from some group at his club.

Lest that step falter, Mather gave up many things—among them the presidency of his college alumni association. He let go of other responsibilities that he valued less. Whenever he was placed on a committee, people tended to elect him chairman and then fade into the background, where it was frustratingly difficult to find them. He was done with that now. He also steered clear of those who were likely to ask for favors, avoiding a certain eager look that would come from some group at his club.

The change in him came slowly. He was not exceptionally unworldly—under other circumstances Drake's refusal of money would not have surprised him. Had it come to him as a story he would scarcely have given it a thought. But it had broken in with harsh abruptness upon a situation existing in his own mind, and the shock had given it a powerful and literal significance.

The change in him happened gradually. He wasn't totally naive—under different circumstances, Drake's rejection of money wouldn't have caught him off guard. If he had heard it as a story, he probably wouldn't have given it much thought. But it intruded suddenly on a situation already in his mind, and the shock made it feel intensely significant.

It was mid-August now, and the last of a baking week. The curtains of his wide-open office windows had scarcely rippled all the day, but lay like sails becalmed in warm juxtaposition with the smothering screens. Mather was worried—Jaqueline had over-tired herself, and was paying for it by violent sick headaches, and business seemed to have come to an apathetic standstill. That morning he had been so irritable with Miss Clancy that she had looked at him in surprise. He had immediately apologized, wishing afterward that he hadn't. He was working at high speed through this heat—why shouldn't she?

It was mid-August now, and the last day of a scorching week. The curtains in his wide-open office windows barely moved all day, lying still like sails trapped in the heat alongside the stifling screens. Mather was worried—Jaqueline had pushed herself too hard and was suffering from severe migraines, and business seemed to have come to a dull standstill. That morning, he had been so short-tempered with Miss Clancy that she had looked at him in surprise. He quickly apologized, but later regretted it. He was working at a fast pace in this heat—so why shouldn't she?

She came to his door now, and he looked up faintly frowning.

She arrived at his door now, and he looked up with a slight frown.

"Mr. Edward Lacy."

"Mr. Edward Lacey."

"All right," he answered listlessly. Old man Lacy—he knew him slightly. A melancholy figure—a brilliant start back in the eighties, and now one of the city's failures. He couldn't imagine what Lacy wanted unless he were soliciting.

"Okay," he replied with little enthusiasm. Old man Lacy—he recognized him from a distance. A sad sight—he had a promising beginning back in the eighties, and now he was just another failure in the city. He couldn't figure out what Lacy wanted unless he was asking for help.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Mather."

"Good afternoon, Mr. Mather."

A little, solemn, gray-haired man stood on the threshold. Mather rose and greeted him politely.

A small, serious, gray-haired man stood at the door. Mather stood up and greeted him politely.

"Are you busy, Mr. Mather?"

"Are you busy, Mr. Mather?"

"Well, not so very." He stressed the qualifying word slightly.

"Well, not so very." He emphasized the qualifying word a bit.

Mr. Lacy sat down, obviously ill at ease. He kept his hat in his hands, and clung to it tightly as he began to speak.

Mr. Lacy sat down, clearly uncomfortable. He held his hat in his hands and gripped it tightly as he started to speak.

"Mr. Mather, if you've got five minutes to spare, I'm going to tell you something that—that I find at present it's necessary for me to tell you."

"Mr. Mather, if you have five minutes to spare, I need to tell you something important."

Mather nodded. His instinct warned him that there was a favor to be asked, but he was tired, and with a sort of lassitude he let his chin sink into his hand, welcoming any distraction from his more immediate cares.

Mather nodded. His gut told him that a favor was about to be requested, but he was tired, and with a sense of weariness, he rested his chin on his hand, welcoming any distraction from his more pressing concerns.

"You see," went on Mr. Lacy—Mather noticed that the hands which fingered at the hat were trembling—"back in eighty-four your father and I were very good friends. You've heard him speak of me no doubt."

"You see," Mr. Lacy continued—Mather noticed that the hands fidgeting with the hat were shaking—"back in '84, your father and I were really close friends. You've probably heard him mention me."

Mather nodded.

Mather agreed.

"I was asked to be one of the pallbearers. Once we were—very close. It's because of that that I come to you now. Never before in my life have I ever had to come to any one as I've come to you now, Mr. Mather—come to a stranger. But as you grow older your friends die or move away or some misunderstanding separates you. And your children die unless you're fortunate enough to go first—and pretty soon you get to be alone, so that you don't have any friends at all. You're isolated." He smiled faintly. His hands were trembling violently now.

"I was asked to be one of the pallbearers. We were very close. It's for that reason I'm turning to you now. I've never had to approach anyone like this before, Mr. Mather—especially not a stranger. But as you get older, your friends pass away or move on, or some misunderstanding comes between you. Your children pass away too if you're not lucky enough to go first—and before long, you find yourself alone, with no friends left. You end up feeling isolated." He smiled weakly. His hands were shaking uncontrollably now.

"Once upon a time almost forty years ago your father came to me and asked me for a thousand dollars. I was a few years older than he was, and though I knew him only slightly, I had a high opinion of him. That was a lot of money in those days, and he had no security—he had nothing but a plan in his head—but I liked the way he had of looking out of his eyes—you'll pardon me if I say you look not unlike him—so I gave it to him without security."

"Almost forty years ago, your father came to me and asked for a thousand dollars. I was a few years older than him, and even though I didn’t know him well, I thought highly of him. That was a significant amount of money back then, and he had no collateral—just an idea in his mind—but I liked the way he looked at me—you won’t mind me saying you resemble him a bit—so I gave it to him without asking for anything in return."

Mr. Lacy paused.

Mr. Lacy took a pause.

"Without security," he repeated. "I could afford it then. I didn't lose by it. He paid it back with interest at six per cent before the year was up."

"Without security," he repeated. "I could afford it back then. I didn't lose anything from it. He paid me back with interest at six percent before the year was over."

Mather was looking down at his blotter, tapping out a series of triangles with his pencil. He knew what was coming now, and his muscles physically tightened as he mustered his forces for the refusal he would have to make.

Mather was staring at his blotter, tapping out a series of triangles with his pencil. He realized what was about to happen, and his muscles tensed as he braced himself for the denial he would have to give.

"I'm now an old man, Mr. Mather," the cracked voice went on. "I've made a failure—I am a failure—only we needn't go into that now. I have a daughter, an unmarried daughter who lives with me. She does stenographic work and has been very kind to me. We live together, you know, on Selby Avenue—we have an apartment, quite a nice apartment."

"I'm now an old man, Mr. Mather," the raspy voice continued. "I've failed—I am a failure—but we don't need to discuss that right now. I have a daughter, an unmarried daughter who lives with me. She does stenographic work and has been really kind to me. We live together, you know, on Selby Avenue—we have an apartment, a pretty nice apartment."

The old man sighed quaveringly. He was trying—and at the same time was afraid—to get to his request. It was insurance, it seemed. He had a ten-thousand-dollar policy, he had borrowed on it up to the limit, and he stood to lose the whole amount unless he could raise four hundred and fifty dollars. He and his daughter had about seventy-five dollars between them. They had no friends—he had explained that—and they had found it impossible to raise the money....

The old man sighed shakily. He was trying—and also scared—to make his request. It seemed to be about insurance. He had a ten-thousand-dollar policy, he had borrowed up to the limit, and he stood to lose the entire amount unless he could come up with four hundred and fifty dollars. He and his daughter had about seventy-five dollars combined. He had already mentioned that they had no friends—and they had found it impossible to raise the money...

Mather could stand the miserable story no longer. He could not spare the money, but he could at least relieve the old man of the blistered agony of asking for it.

Mather couldn't take the sad story anymore. He couldn't afford to give money, but at least he could free the old man from the painful embarrassment of having to ask for it.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Lacy," he interrupted as gently as possible, "but I can't lend you that money."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Lacy," he interrupted as gently as he could, "but I can't lend you that money."

"No?" The old man looked at him with faded, blinking eyes that were beyond all shock, almost, it seemed, beyond any human emotion except ceaseless care. The only change in his expression was that his mouth dropped slowly ajar.

"No?" The old man looked at him with tired, blinking eyes that had seen it all, almost as if they were beyond any human emotion except endless concern. The only change in his expression was that his mouth gradually fell open.

Mather fixed his eyes determinately upon his blotter.

Mather stared intently at his blotter.

"We're going to have a baby in a few months, and I've been saving for that. It wouldn't be fair to my wife to take anything from her—or the child—right now."

"We're going to have a baby in a few months, and I've been saving for that. It wouldn't be fair to my wife or the child to take anything from them right now."

His voice sank to a sort of mumble. He found himself saying platitudinously that business was bad—saying it with revolting facility.

His voice dropped to a mumble. He caught himself saying, in a cliché way, that business was bad—saying it with an unsettling ease.

Mr. Lacy made no argument. He rose without visible signs of disappointment. Only his hands were still trembling and they worried Mather. The old man was apologetic—he was sorry to have bothered him at a time like this. Perhaps something would turn up. He had thought that if Mr. Mather did happen to have a good deal extra—why, he might be the person to go to because he was the son of an old friend.

Mr. Lacy didn’t argue. He stood up without showing any signs of disappointment. Only his hands were still shaking, which worried Mather. The old man felt bad—he regretted bothering him during such a time. Maybe something would come up. He had thought that if Mr. Mather happened to have some extra resources—well, he might be the right person to ask since he was the son of an old friend.

As he left the office he had trouble opening the outer door. Miss Clancy helped him. He went shabbily and unhappily down the corridor with his faded eyes blinking and his mouth still faintly ajar.

As he walked out of the office, he struggled to open the outer door. Miss Clancy assisted him. He walked down the corridor looking scruffy and unhappy, with his dull eyes blinking and his mouth slightly open.

Jim Mather stood by his desk, and put his hand over his face and shivered suddenly as if he were cold. But the five-o'clock air outside was hot as a tropic noon.

Jim Mather stood by his desk, covered his face with his hand, and suddenly shivered as if he were cold. But the five o'clock air outside was as hot as a tropical noon.







IV

The twilight was hotter still an hour later as he stood at the corner waiting for his car. The trolley-ride to his house was twenty-five minutes, and he bought a pink-jacketed newspaper to appetize his listless mind. Life had seemed less happy, less glamourous of late. Perhaps he had learned more of the world's ways—perhaps its glamour was evaporating little by little with the hurried years.

The twilight was even hotter an hour later as he stood at the corner waiting for his car. The trolley ride to his house took twenty-five minutes, and he picked up a pink-jacketed newspaper to engage his bored mind. Life had felt less happy and less glamorous lately. Maybe he had learned more about the world—maybe its glamour was gradually fading away with the fast-moving years.

Nothing like this afternoon, for instance, had ever happened to him before. He could not dismiss the old man from his mind. He pictured him plodding home in the weary heat—on foot, probably, to save carfare—opening the door of a hot little flat, and confessing to his daughter that the son of his friend had not been able to help him out. All evening they would plan helplessly until they said good night to each other—father and daughter, isolated by chance in this world—and went to lie awake with a pathetic loneliness in their two beds.

Nothing like this afternoon had ever happened to him before. He couldn’t shake the old man from his mind. He imagined him trudging home in the exhausting heat—probably walking to save on fare—opening the door to a small, stuffy apartment, and telling his daughter that his friend’s son hadn’t been able to help him. All evening, they would helplessly make plans until they said good night to each other—father and daughter, brought together by chance in this world—and went to lie awake with a sad loneliness in their separate beds.

Mather's street-car came along, and he found a seat near the front, next to an old lady who looked at him grudgingly as she moved over. At the next block a crowd of girls from the department-store district flowed up the aisle, and Mather unfolded his paper. Of late he had not indulged his habit of giving up his seat. Jaqueline was right—the average young girl was able to stand as well as he was. Giving up his seat was silly, a mere gesture. Nowadays not one woman in a dozen even bothered to thank him.

Mather's streetcar arrived, and he took a seat near the front, next to an older woman who gave him a reluctant look as she shifted over. At the next stop, a group of girls from the department-store area filled the aisle, and Mather opened his newspaper. Recently, he hadn’t followed his habit of giving up his seat. Jaqueline was right—the average young woman could stand just as well as he could. Offering his seat felt pointless, just a simple gesture. These days, hardly one woman in ten even bothered to thank him.

It was stifling hot in the car, and he wiped the heavy damp from his forehead. The aisle was thickly packed now, and a woman standing beside his seat was thrown momentarily against his shoulder as the car turned a corner. Mather took a long breath of the hot foul air, which persistently refused to circulate, and tried to centre his mind on a cartoon at the top of the sporting page.

It was suffocatingly hot in the car, and he wiped the sweat from his forehead. The aisle was crowded now, and a woman standing next to his seat was briefly pushed against him when the car took a turn. Mather took a deep breath of the hot, stale air that refused to move, and tried to focus on a cartoon at the top of the sports page.

"Move for'ard ina car, please!" The conductor's voice pierced the opaque column of humanity with raucous irritation. "Plen'y of room for'ard!"

"Move forward in a car, please!" The conductor's voice cut through the dense crowd of people with loud annoyance. "Plenty of room up front!"

The crowd made a feeble attempt to shove forward, but the unfortunate fact that there was no space into which to move precluded any marked success. The car turned another corner, and again the woman next to Mather swayed against his shoulder. Ordinarily he would have given up his seat if only to avoid this reminder that she was there. It made him feel unpleasantly cold-blooded. And the car was horrible—horrible. They ought to put more of them on the line these sweltering days.

The crowd made a weak attempt to push forward, but the unfortunate reality that there was nowhere to go stopped any real progress. The train turned another corner, and once more the woman next to Mather leaned against his shoulder. Normally, he would have offered his seat just to avoid the reminder that she was there. It made him feel uncomfortably detached. And the train was terrible—terrible. They should have more of them running during these hot days.

For the fifth time he looked at the pictures in the comic strip. There was a beggar in the second picture, and the wavering image of Mr. Lacy persistently inserted itself in the beggar's place. God! Suppose the old man really did starve to death—suppose he threw himself into the river.

For the fifth time, he looked at the pictures in the comic strip. There was a beggar in the second picture, and the blurry image of Mr. Lacy kept popping into the beggar's place. God! What if the old man actually starved to death—what if he jumped into the river?

"Once," thought Mather, "he helped my father. Perhaps, if he hadn't, my own life would have been different than it has been. But Lacy could afford it then—and I can't."

"Once," Mather thought, "he helped my dad. Maybe if he hadn't, my life would be different than it is now. But Lacy could afford it back then—and I can't."

To force out the picture of Mr. Lacy, Mather tried to think of Jaqueline. He said to himself over and over that he would have been sacrificing Jaqueline to a played-out man who had had his chance and failed. Jaqueline needed her chance now as never before.

To push the image of Mr. Lacy out of his mind, Mather kept trying to think about Jaqueline. He repeated to himself that he would be sacrificing Jaqueline to a washed-up guy who had his opportunity and blew it. Jaqueline needed her chance now more than ever.

Mather looked at his watch. He had been on the car ten minutes. Fifteen minutes still to ride, and the heat increasing with breathless intensity. The woman swayed against him once more, and looking out the window he saw that they were turning the last down-town corner.

Mather checked his watch. He had been on the train for ten minutes. Another fifteen minutes to go, and the heat was getting more stifling. The woman leaned against him again, and looking out the window, he noticed they were making the final turn downtown.

It occurred to him that perhaps he ought, after all, to give the woman his seat—her last sway toward him had been a particularly tired sway. If he were sure she was an older woman—but the texture of her dress as it brushed his hand gave somehow the impression that she was a young girl. He did not dare look up to see. He was afraid of the appeal that might look out of her eyes if they were old eyes or the sharp contempt if they were young.

It crossed his mind that maybe he should give the woman his seat after all—her last movement toward him had been particularly sluggish. If only he could be sure she was an older woman—but the feel of her dress as it brushed against his hand somehow made her seem like a young girl. He didn’t dare look up to check. He was worried about the look of longing he might see in her eyes if they were old, or the biting disdain if they were young.

For the next five minutes his mind worked in a vague suffocated way on what now seemed to him the enormous problem of whether or not to give her the seat. He felt dimly that doing so would partially atone for his refusal to Mr. Lacy that afternoon. It would be rather terrible to have done those two cold-blooded things in succession—and on such a day.

For the next five minutes, his mind struggled with what now felt like the huge dilemma of whether or not to offer her the seat. He vaguely sensed that giving it to her would somewhat make up for his refusal to Mr. Lacy that afternoon. It would be pretty awful to have done those two heartless things back-to-back—and on such a day.

He tried the cartoon again, but in vain. He must concentrate on Jaqueline. He was dead tired now, and if he stood up he would be more tired. Jaqueline would be waiting for him, needing him. She would be depressed and she would want him to hold her quietly in his arms for an hour after dinner. When he was tired this was rather a strain. And afterward when they went to bed she would ask him from time to time to get her her medicine or a glass of ice-water. He hated to show any weariness in doing these things. She might notice and, needing something, refrain from asking for it.

He tried watching the cartoon again, but it didn’t work. He needed to focus on Jaqueline. He was completely exhausted now, and if he stood up, he would feel even more tired. Jaqueline would be waiting for him, needing him. She would be feeling down and would want him to hold her quietly in his arms for an hour after dinner. When he was tired, that felt like a real strain. And later, when they went to bed, she would occasionally ask him to get her medicine or a glass of ice water. He hated to show any signs of fatigue while doing those things. She might notice and, needing something, hold back from asking for it.

The girl in the aisle swayed against him once more—this time it was more like a sag. She was tired, too. Well, it was weary to work. The ends of many proverbs that had to do with toil and the long day floated fragmentarily through his mind. Everybody in the world was tired—this woman, for instance, whose body was sagging so wearily, so strangely against his. But his home came first and his girl that he loved was waiting for him there. He must keep his strength for her, and he said to himself over and over that he would not give up his seat.

The girl in the aisle leaned against him again—this time it felt more like she was collapsing. She was tired too. Working was exhausting. Bits and pieces of various sayings about hard work and long days drifted through his mind. Everyone in the world was worn out—like this woman, whose body leaned so heavily and oddly against him. But his home was his priority, and his girl, the one he loved, was waiting for him there. He had to save his strength for her, and he kept telling himself that he wouldn’t give up his seat.

Then he heard a long sigh, followed by a sudden exclamation, and he realized that the girl was no longer leaning against him. The exclamation multiplied into a clatter of voices—then came a pause—then a renewed clatter that travelled down the car in calls and little staccato cries to the conductor. The bell clanged violently, and the hot car jolted to a sudden stop.

Then he heard a deep sigh, followed by a sudden outburst, and he realized that the girl was no longer leaning against him. The outburst turned into a jumble of voices—then came a pause—then a renewed commotion that spread down the train with calls and little abrupt cries to the conductor. The bell rang loudly, and the heated train suddenly came to a stop.

"Girl fainted up here!"

"Girl passed out up here!"

"Too hot for her!"

"Too hot for her!"

"Just keeled right over!"

"Just collapsed!"

"Get back there! Gangway, you!"

"Get back! Move, you!"

The crowd eddied apart. The passengers in front squeezed back and those on the rear platform temporarily disembarked. Curiosity and pity bubbled out of suddenly conversing groups. People tried to help, got in the way. Then the bell rang and voices rose stridently again.

The crowd shifted around. The passengers in front pulled back, and those on the back platform got off for a moment. Curiosity and sympathy bubbled up from the groups that suddenly started talking. People tried to help but also got in the way. Then the bell rang, and voices rose sharply once more.

"Get her out all right?"

"Did she get out okay?"

"Say, did you see that?"

"Hey, did you see that?"

"This damn' company ought to——"

"This damn company should——"

"Did you see the man that carried her out? He was pale as a ghost, too."

"Did you see the guy who carried her out? He looked pale as a ghost, too."

"Yes, but did you hear——?"

"Yeah, but did you hear——?"

"What?"

"What do you mean?"

"That fella. That pale fella that carried her out. He was sittin' beside her—he says she's his wife!"

"That guy. That pale guy who carried her out. He was sitting next to her—he says she's his wife!"



The house was quiet. A breeze pressed back the dark vine leaves of the veranda, letting in thin yellow rods of moonlight on the wicker chairs. Jaqueline rested placidly on the long settee with her head in his arms. After a while she stirred lazily; her hand reaching up patted his cheek.

The house was quiet. A breeze pushed the dark vine leaves of the veranda aside, allowing thin beams of moonlight to spill onto the wicker chairs. Jaqueline relaxed peacefully on the long couch with her head in his arms. After a while, she stirred lazily; her hand reached up to stroke his cheek.

"I think I'll go to bed now. I'm so tired. Will you help me up?"

"I think I'm going to bed now. I'm really tired. Can you help me up?"

He lifted her and then laid her back among the pillows.

He picked her up and then laid her back on the pillows.

"I'll be with you in a minute," he said gently. "Can you wait for just a minute?"

"I'll be with you in a sec," he said softly. "Can you wait just a moment?"

He passed into the lighted living-room, and she heard him thumbing the pages of a telephone directory; then she listened as he called a number.

He walked into the lit living room, and she heard him flipping through a phone book; then she listened as he dialed a number.

"Hello, is Mr. Lacy there? Why—yes, it is pretty important—if he hasn't gone to sleep."

"Hey, is Mr. Lacy there? Yes, it really is important—if he hasn't fallen asleep."

A pause. Jaqueline could hear restless sparrows splattering through the leaves of the magnolia over the way. Then her husband at the telephone:

A pause. Jaqueline could hear restless sparrows fluttering through the leaves of the magnolia across the way. Then her husband on the phone:

"Is this Mr. Lacy? Oh, this is Mather. Why—why, in regard to that matter we talked about this afternoon, I think I'll be able to fix that up after all." He raised his voice a little as though some one at the other end found it difficult to hear. "James Mather's son, I said— About that little matter this afternoon——"

"Is this Mr. Lacy? Oh, it's Mather. Well, regarding that issue we discussed this afternoon, I believe I can sort that out after all." He raised his voice slightly as if someone on the other end was having trouble hearing. "James Mather's son, I said— About that little issue this afternoon——"







"THE SENSIBLE THING"

At the Great American Lunch Hour young George O'Kelly straightened his desk deliberately and with an assumed air of interest. No one in the office must know that he was in a hurry, for success is a matter of atmosphere, and it is not well to advertise the fact that your mind is separated from your work by a distance of seven hundred miles.

At the Great American Lunch Hour, young George O'Kelly tidied his desk intentionally, pretending to be interested. No one in the office should know he was in a rush, because success depends on vibes, and it's not good to show that your head is a world away from your job.

But once out of the building he set his teeth and began to run, glancing now and then at the gay noon of early spring which filled Times Square and loitered less than twenty feet over the heads of the crowd. The crowd all looked slightly upward and took deep March breaths, and the sun dazzled their eyes so that scarcely any one saw any one else but only their own reflection on the sky.

But as soon as he left the building, he gritted his teeth and started running, occasionally looking up at the bright noon of early spring that filled Times Square and hovered less than twenty feet above the heads of the crowd. Everyone in the crowd looked slightly upward and took deep breaths of the March air, and the sun blinded their eyes so that hardly anyone noticed anyone else, only their own reflection in the sky.

George O'Kelly, whose mind was over seven hundred miles away, thought that all outdoors was horrible. He rushed into the subway, and for ninety-five blocks bent a frenzied glance on a car-card which showed vividly how he had only one chance in five of keeping his teeth for ten years. At 137th Street he broke off his study of commercial art, left the subway, and began to run again, a tireless, anxious run that brought him this time to his home—one room in a high, horrible apartment-house in the middle of nowhere.

George O'Kelly, whose mind was over seven hundred miles away, thought that the outdoors was terrible. He rushed into the subway and for ninety-five blocks fixated frantically on an ad that showed how he had only a one in five chance of keeping his teeth for ten years. At 137th Street, he stopped his examination of commercial art, exited the subway, and began to run again, a relentless, anxious run that brought him this time to his home—one room in a tall, dreadful apartment building in the middle of nowhere.

There it was on the bureau, the letter—in sacred ink, on blessed paper—all over the city, people, if they listened, could hear the beating of George O'Kelly's heart. He read the commas, the blots, and the thumb-smudge on the margin—then he threw himself hopelessly upon his bed.

There it was on the dresser, the letter—in sacred ink, on blessed paper—all over the city, if people listened, they could hear the beating of George O'Kelly's heart. He read the commas, the smudges, and the thumbprint on the edge—then he threw himself despairingly onto his bed.

He was in a mess, one of those terrific messes which are ordinary incidents in the life of the poor, which follow poverty like birds of prey. The poor go under or go up or go wrong or even go on, somehow, in a way the poor have—but George O'Kelly was so new to poverty that had any one denied the uniqueness of his case he would have been astounded.

He was in a tough spot, one of those awful situations that are common experiences for the poor, which cling to poverty like vultures. The poor either struggle, find a way to rise, go off track, or just keep going, in the way the poor do—but George O'Kelly was so new to being poor that if anyone had questioned the uniqueness of his situation, he would have been shocked.

Less than two years ago he had been graduated with honors from The Massachusetts Institute of Technology and had taken a position with a firm of construction engineers in southern Tennessee. All his life he had thought in terms of tunnels and skyscrapers and great squat dams and tall, three-towered bridges, that were like dancers holding hands in a row, with heads as tall as cities and skirts of cable strand. It had seemed romantic to George O'Kelly to change the sweep of rivers and the shape of mountains so that life could flourish in the old bad lands of the world where it had never taken root before. He loved steel, and there was always steel near him in his dreams, liquid steel, steel in bars, and blocks and beams and formless plastic masses, waiting for him, as paint and canvas to his hand. Steel inexhaustible, to be made lovely and austere in his imaginative fire ...

Less than two years ago, he graduated with honors from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and started working at a construction engineering firm in southern Tennessee. All his life, he had envisioned tunnels, skyscrapers, hefty dams, and tall, three-towered bridges, resembling dancers holding hands in a line, with their heights reaching up to cities and their skirts made of cable strands. It felt romantic to George O'Kelly to alter the courses of rivers and reshape mountains so that life could thrive in the harsh lands of the world where it had never taken root before. He loved steel, and in his dreams, there was always steel around him—liquid steel, steel in bars, blocks, beams, and formless plastic masses, waiting for him, like paint and canvas in his hands. Steel was endless, meant to be transformed into something beautiful and austere in the fire of his imagination...

At present he was an insurance clerk at forty dollars a week with his dream slipping fast behind him. The dark little girl who had made this mess, this terrible and intolerable mess, was waiting to be sent for in a town in Tennessee.

At the moment, he was an insurance clerk earning forty dollars a week, with his dreams quickly fading away. The dark little girl who had created this chaos, this awful and unbearable chaos, was waiting to be called in a town in Tennessee.

In fifteen minutes the woman from whom he sublet his room knocked and asked him with maddening kindness if, since he was home, he would have some lunch. He shook his head, but the interruption aroused him, and getting up from the bed he wrote a telegram.

In fifteen minutes, the woman he sublet his room from knocked and asked him, with annoying kindness, if he would like to have some lunch since he was home. He shook his head, but the interruption woke him up, and getting out of bed, he wrote a telegram.

"Letter depressed me have you lost your nerve you are foolish and just upset to think of breaking off why not marry me immediately sure we can make it all right——"

"Letter made me feel down. Have you lost your courage? You're being silly and just upset thinking about breaking things off. Why not marry me right away? I'm sure we can make everything work out."

He hesitated for a wild minute, and then added in a hand that could scarcely be recognized as his own: "In any case I will arrive to-morrow at six o'clock."

He paused for a moment, then added with a hand that barely felt like his own, "Anyway, I'll be there tomorrow at six o'clock."

When he finished he ran out of the apartment and down to the telegraph office near the subway stop. He possessed in this world not quite one hundred dollars, but the letter showed that she was "nervous" and this left him no choice. He knew what "nervous" meant—that she was emotionally depressed, that the prospect of marrying into a life of poverty and struggle was putting too much strain upon her love.

When he was done, he dashed out of the apartment and headed to the telegraph office near the subway stop. He had just under one hundred dollars to his name, but the letter indicated that she was "nervous," and this left him no option. He understood what "nervous" meant—that she was feeling emotionally down, that the idea of marrying into a life of poverty and hardship was putting too much pressure on her love.

George O'Kelly reached the insurance company at his usual run, the run that had become almost second nature to him, that seemed best to express the tension under which he lived. He went straight to the manager's office.

George O'Kelly arrived at the insurance company at his usual pace, the pace that had become almost instinctual for him, which seemed to perfectly convey the tension he was under. He headed straight to the manager's office.

"I want to see you, Mr. Chambers," he announced breathlessly.

"I want to see you, Mr. Chambers," he said, out of breath.

"Well?" Two eyes, eyes like winter windows, glared at him with ruthless impersonality.

"Well?" Two eyes, eyes like cold winter windows, stared at him with a harsh indifference.

"I want to get four days' vacation."

"I want to take four days off."

"Why, you had a vacation just two weeks ago!" said Mr. Chambers in surprise.

"Wow, you just had a vacation two weeks ago!" Mr. Chambers said, surprised.

"That's true," admitted the distraught young man, "but now I've got to have another."

"That's true," admitted the upset young man, "but now I need to have another."

"Where'd you go last time? To your home?"

"Where did you go last time? To your place?"

"No, I went to—a place in Tennessee."

"No, I went to a place in Tennessee."

"Well, where do you want to go this time?"

"Well, where do you want to go this time?"

"Well, this time I want to go to—a place in Tennessee."

"Well, this time I want to go to a place in Tennessee."

"You're consistent, anyhow," said the manager dryly. "But I didn't realize you were employed here as a travelling salesman."

"You're consistent, anyway," the manager said blandly. "But I didn't know you worked here as a traveling salesman."

"I'm not," cried George desperately, "but I've got to go."

"I'm not," George shouted in desperation, "but I have to go."

"All right," agreed Mr. Chambers, "but you don't have to come back. So don't!"

"Okay," Mr. Chambers agreed, "but you don’t have to come back. So don't!"

"I won't." And to his own astonishment as well as Mr. Chambers' George's face grew pink with pleasure. He felt happy, exultant—for the first time in six months he was absolutely free. Tears of gratitude stood in his eyes, and he seized Mr. Chambers warmly by the hand.

"I won't." To his own surprise, as well as Mr. Chambers', George's face flushed pink with happiness. He felt joyful, triumphant—for the first time in six months, he was completely free. Tears of gratitude brimmed in his eyes, and he warmly grasped Mr. Chambers' hand.

"I want to thank you," he said with a rush of emotion, "I don't want to come back. I think I'd have gone crazy if you'd said that I could come back. Only I couldn't quit myself, you see, and I want to thank you for—for quitting for me."

"I want to thank you," he said, feeling overwhelmed, "I don’t want to come back. I think I would have lost my mind if you had said I could. But I just couldn’t let go myself, you know? So I want to thank you for—for letting go for me."

He waved his hand magnanimously, shouted aloud, "You owe me three days' salary but you can keep it!" and rushed from the office. Mr. Chambers rang for his stenographer to ask if O'Kelly had seemed queer lately. He had fired many men in the course of his career, and they had taken it in many different ways, but none of them had thanked him—ever before.

He waved his hand grandly and shouted, "You owe me three days' salary, but you can keep it!" before rushing out of the office. Mr. Chambers called for his secretary to ask if O'Kelly had been acting strange lately. He had fired many people throughout his career, and they had reacted in various ways, but none of them had ever thanked him before.







II

Jonquil Cary was her name, and to George O'Kelly nothing had ever looked so fresh and pale as her face when she saw him and fled to him eagerly along the station platform. Her arms were raised to him, her mouth was half parted for his kiss, when she held him off suddenly and lightly and, with a touch of embarrassment, looked around. Two boys, somewhat younger than George, were standing in the background.

Jonquil Cary was her name, and to George O'Kelly nothing had ever appeared as fresh and pale as her face when she saw him and rushed eagerly toward him along the station platform. Her arms were raised to him, her lips slightly parted for his kiss, when she suddenly and playfully held him off and, with a hint of embarrassment, looked around. Two boys, a bit younger than George, were standing in the background.

"This is Mr. Craddock and Mr. Holt," she announced cheerfully. "You met them when you were here before."

"This is Mr. Craddock and Mr. Holt," she said cheerfully. "You met them when you were here last time."

Disturbed by the transition of a kiss into an introduction and suspecting some hidden significance, George was more confused when he found that the automobile which was to carry them to Jonquil's house belonged to one of the two young men. It seemed to put him at a disadvantage. On the way Jonquil chattered between the front and back seats, and when he tried to slip his arm around her under cover of the twilight she compelled him with a quick movement to take her hand instead.

Disturbed by how a kiss turned into an introduction and suspecting there was some hidden meaning behind it, George felt even more confused when he realized that the car meant to take them to Jonquil's house belonged to one of the two young men. It seemed to put him at a disadvantage. During the ride, Jonquil chatted between the front and back seats, and when George attempted to slip his arm around her under the cover of twilight, she quickly moved to make him take her hand instead.

"Is this street on the way to your house?" he whispered. "I don't recognize it."

"Is this street on the way to your house?" he whispered. "I don't recognize it."

"It's the new boulevard. Jerry just got this car to-day, and he wants to show it to me before he takes us home."

"It's the new boulevard. Jerry just got this car today, and he wants to show it to me before he drives us home."

When, after twenty minutes, they were deposited at Jonquil's house, George felt that the first happiness of the meeting, the joy he had recognized so surely in her eyes back in the station, had been dissipated by the intrusion of the ride. Something that he had looked forward to had been rather casually lost, and he was brooding on this as he said good night stiffly to the two young men. Then his ill-humor faded as Jonquil drew him into a familiar embrace under the dim light of the front hall and told him in a dozen ways, of which the best was without words, how she had missed him. Her emotion reassured him, promised his anxious heart that everything would be all right.

When they arrived at Jonquil's house after twenty minutes, George felt that the initial happiness of their meeting—the joy he had clearly seen in her eyes back at the station—had been overshadowed by the ride. Something he had been looking forward to had been somewhat casually taken away, and he was lost in thought over this as he said goodnight awkwardly to the two young men. But his bad mood disappeared when Jonquil pulled him into a familiar embrace under the soft light of the front hall and expressed in many ways, the best of which was without words, how much she had missed him. Her emotion comforted him and assured his worried heart that everything would be okay.

They sat together on the sofa, overcome by each other's presence, beyond all except fragmentary endearments. At the supper hour Jonquil's father and mother appeared and were glad to see George. They liked him, and had been interested in his engineering career when he had first come to Tennessee over a year before. They had been sorry when he had given it up and gone to New York to look for something more immediately profitable, but while they deplored the curtailment of his career they sympathized with him and were ready to recognize the engagement. During dinner they asked about his progress in New York.

They sat together on the sofa, really feeling each other's presence, beyond just a few sweet words. At dinner time, Jonquil's parents came in and were happy to see George. They liked him and had been interested in his engineering career when he first arrived in Tennessee over a year ago. They were disappointed when he gave that up to go to New York in search of something more profitable, but while they regretted the change in his career, they understood his decision and were ready to accept the engagement. During dinner, they asked how he was doing in New York.

"Everything's going fine," he told them with enthusiasm. "I've been promoted—better salary."

"Everything's going great," he told them excitedly. "I got promoted—better pay."

He was miserable as he said this—but they were all so glad.

He was so unhappy when he said this—but they were all so happy.

"They must like you," said Mrs. Cary, "that's certain—or they wouldn't let you off twice in three weeks to come down here."

"They must like you," Mrs. Cary said, "that's for sure—or they wouldn't have let you take off twice in three weeks to come down here."

"I told them they had to," explained George hastily; "I told them if they didn't I wouldn't work for them any more."

"I told them they had to," George explained quickly; "I told them if they didn't, I wouldn't work for them anymore."

"But you ought to save your money," Mrs. Cary reproached him gently. "Not spend it all on this expensive trip."

"But you should save your money," Mrs. Cary said softly. "Don't spend it all on this pricey trip."

Dinner was over—he and Jonquil were alone and she came back into his arms.

Dinner was done—he and Jonquil were alone, and she returned to his embrace.

"So glad you're here," she sighed. "Wish you never were going away again, darling."

"So glad you’re here," she said with a sigh. "I wish you wouldn’t ever leave again, babe."

"Do you miss me?"

"Do you still think of me?"

"Oh, so much, so much."

"Oh, so much!"

"Do you—do other men come to see you often? Like those two kids?"

"Do you—do other guys come to see you often? Like those two kids?"

The question surprised her. The dark velvet eyes stared at him.

The question caught her off guard. The deep velvet eyes looked at him intently.

"Why, of course they do. All the time. Why—I've told you in letters that they did, dearest."

"Of course they do. All the time. I’ve told you in my letters that they do, my dear."

This was true—when he had first come to the city there had been already a dozen boys around her, responding to her picturesque fragility with adolescent worship, and a few of them perceiving that her beautiful eyes were also sane and kind.

This was true—when he first arrived in the city, there were already a dozen boys around her, drawn to her delicate charm with youthful admiration, and a few of them noticing that her beautiful eyes were also wise and gentle.

"Do you expect me never to go anywhere"—Jonquil demanded, leaning back against the sofa-pillows until she seemed to look at him from many miles away—"and just fold my hands and sit still—forever?"

"Do you expect me to never go anywhere?" Jonquil asked, leaning back against the sofa cushions until she seemed to look at him from miles away. "Am I just supposed to fold my hands and sit still forever?"

"What do you mean?" he blurted out in a panic. "Do you mean you think I'll never have enough money to marry you?"

"What do you mean?" he exclaimed in a panic. "Are you saying you think I'll never have enough money to marry you?"

"Oh, don't jump at conclusions so, George."

"Oh, don’t jump to conclusions like that, George."

"I'm not jumping at conclusions. That's what you said."

"I'm not jumping to conclusions. That's what you said."

George decided suddenly that he was on dangerous grounds. He had not intended to let anything spoil this night. He tried to take her again in his arms, but she resisted unexpectedly, saying:

George suddenly realized he was in a risky situation. He hadn’t planned on letting anything ruin this night. He attempted to pull her back into his arms, but she unexpectedly resisted, saying:

"It's hot. I'm going to get the electric fan."

"It's really hot. I'm going to grab the electric fan."

When the fan was adjusted they sat down again, but he was in a supersensitive mood and involuntarily he plunged into the specific world he had intended to avoid.

When the fan was adjusted, they sat down again, but he was in a super-sensitive mood and, without meaning to, he found himself diving into the exact world he had planned to avoid.

"When will you marry me?"

"When are we getting married?"

"Are you ready for me to marry you?"

"Are you ready for me to marry you?"

All at once his nerves gave way, and he sprang to his feet.

All of a sudden, his nerves broke, and he jumped to his feet.

"Let's shut off that damned fan," he cried, "it drives me wild. It's like a clock ticking away all the time I'll be with you. I came here to be happy and forget everything about New York and time——"

"Let's turn off that annoying fan," he shouted, "it drives me crazy. It's like a clock ticking away all the time I have with you. I came here to be happy and forget everything about New York and time——"

He sank down on the sofa as suddenly as he had risen. Jonquil turned off the fan, and drawing his head down into her lap began stroking his hair.

He collapsed onto the sofa just as quickly as he had gotten up. Jonquil turned off the fan, and as she pulled his head into her lap, she started to stroke his hair.

"Let's sit like this," she said softly, "just sit quiet like this, and I'll put you to sleep. You're all tired and nervous, and your sweetheart'll take care of you."

"Let’s sit like this," she said gently, "just sit quietly like this, and I’ll help you relax. You’re all tired and anxious, and your sweetheart will take care of you."

"But I don't want to sit like this," he complained, jerking up suddenly, "I don't want to sit like this at all. I want you to kiss me. That's the only thing that makes me rest. And anyways I'm not nervous—it's you that's nervous. I'm not nervous at all."

"But I don't want to sit like this," he said, suddenly sitting up. "I don't want to sit like this at all. I want you to kiss me. That's the only thing that relaxes me. And anyway, I'm not nervous—you're the one who's nervous. I'm not nervous at all."

To prove that he wasn't nervous he left the couch and plumped himself into a rocking-chair across the room.

To show that he wasn't nervous, he got up from the couch and settled into a rocking chair across the room.

"Just when I'm ready to marry you you write me the most nervous letters, as if you're going to back out, and I have to come rushing down here——"

"Just when I'm about to marry you, you send me the most anxious letters, as if you're going to back out, and I have to hurry down here——"

"You don't have to come if you don't want to."

"You don’t have to come if you don’t want to."

"But I do want to!" insisted George.

"But I really want to!" insisted George.

It seemed to him that he was being very cool and logical and that she was putting him deliberately in the wrong. With every word they were drawing farther and farther apart—and he was unable to stop himself or to keep worry and pain out of his voice.

It felt to him like he was being really calm and rational while she was intentionally making him look bad. With each word they exchanged, they were growing more and more distant—and he couldn't stop himself or keep the worry and hurt out of his voice.

But in a minute Jonquil began to cry sorrowfully and he came back to the sofa and put his arm around her. He was the comforter now, drawing her head close to his shoulder, murmuring old familiar things until she grew calmer and only trembled a little, spasmodically, in his arms. For over an hour they sat there, while the evening pianos thumped their last cadences into the street outside. George did not move, or think, or hope, lulled into numbness by the premonition of disaster. The clock would tick on, past eleven, past twelve, and then Mrs. Cary would call down gently over the banister—beyond that he saw only to-morrow and despair.

But in a moment, Jonquil started to cry sadly, and he returned to the sofa, wrapping his arm around her. He became the one providing comfort now, pulling her head close to his shoulder, whispering old familiar words until she calmed down, trembling only a little, spasmodically, in his arms. For over an hour, they sat there while the evening pianos played their final notes into the street outside. George didn’t move, think, or hope, lulled into numbness by a sense of impending disaster. The clock kept ticking past eleven, past twelve, and then Mrs. Cary would gently call down from the banister—beyond that, all he could see was tomorrow and despair.







III

In the heat of the next day the breaking-point came. They had each guessed the truth about the other, but of the two she was the more ready to admit the situation.

In the heat of the next day, the breaking point came. They had both figured out the truth about each other, but she was the one more willing to acknowledge the situation.

"There's no use going on," she said miserably, "you know you hate the insurance business, and you'll never do well in it."

"There's no point in continuing," she said sadly, "you know you hate the insurance business, and you'll never succeed in it."

"That's not it," he insisted stubbornly; "I hate going on alone. If you'll marry me and come with me and take a chance with me, I can make good at anything, but not while I'm worrying about you down here."

"That's not it," he insisted stubbornly. "I hate going on alone. If you'll marry me, come with me, and take a chance with me, I can succeed at anything, but I can't do it while I'm worrying about you down here."

She was silent a long time before she answered, not thinking—for she had seen the end—but only waiting, because she knew that every word would seem more cruel than the last. Finally she spoke:

She remained quiet for a long while before she replied, not reflecting—since she had already seen the outcome—but simply waiting, because she understood that each word would feel harsher than the previous one. Eventually, she spoke:

"George, I love you with all my heart, and I don't see how I can ever love any one else but you. If you'd been ready for me two months ago I'd have married you—now I can't because it doesn't seem to be the sensible thing."

"George, I love you with all my heart, and I can't imagine loving anyone else but you. If you had been ready for me two months ago, I would have married you—but now, it just doesn't feel like the right choice."

He made wild accusations—there was some one else—she was keeping something from him!

He made crazy accusations—there was someone else—she was hiding something from him!

"No, there's no one else."

"No, there's nobody else."

This was true. But reacting from the strain of this affair she had found relief in the company of young boys like Jerry Holt, who had the merit of meaning absolutely nothing in her life.

This was true. But reacting from the stress of this situation, she found comfort in the company of young guys like Jerry Holt, who had the advantage of not meaning anything at all in her life.

George didn't take the situation well, at all. He seized her in his arms and tried literally to kiss her into marrying him at once. When this failed, he broke into a long monologue of self-pity, and ceased only when he saw that he was making himself despicable in her sight. He threatened to leave when he had no intention of leaving, and refused to go when she told him that, after all, it was best that he should.

George did not handle the situation well at all. He grabbed her in his arms and tried to literally kiss her into agreeing to marry him right away. When that didn't work, he launched into a long speech about how sorry he felt for himself, only stopping when he realized he was making himself look pitiful in her eyes. He threatened to leave even though he had no intention of actually going, and he refused to leave when she told him that it was probably best for him to do so.

For a while she was sorry, then for another while she was merely kind.

For a while, she felt regretful, and then for another while, she was just being nice.

"You'd better go now," she cried at last, so loud that Mrs. Cary came down-stairs in alarm.

"You should really go now," she yelled finally, loud enough that Mrs. Cary hurried downstairs in worry.

"Is something the matter?"

"Is something wrong?"

"I'm going away, Mrs. Cary," said George brokenly. Jonquil had left the room.

"I'm leaving, Mrs. Cary," George said, upset. Jonquil had walked out of the room.

"Don't feel so badly, George." Mrs. Cary blinked at him in helpless sympathy—sorry and, in the same breath, glad that the little tragedy was almost done. "If I were you I'd go home to your mother for a week or so. Perhaps after all this is the sensible thing——"

"Don't feel so bad, George." Mrs. Cary blinked at him with helpless sympathy—feeling sorry and, at the same time, relieved that the little tragedy was almost over. "If I were you, I'd go home to your mom for a week or so. Maybe after everything, this is the sensible thing to do——"

"Please don't talk," he cried. "Please don't say anything to me now!"

"Please don’t talk," he shouted. "Please don’t say anything to me right now!"

Jonquil came into the room again, her sorrow and her nervousness alike tucked under powder and rouge and hat.

Jonquil walked back into the room, her sadness and anxiety hidden beneath makeup and her hat.

"I've ordered a taxicab," she said impersonally. "We can drive around until your train leaves."

"I've called a taxi," she said flatly. "We can drive around until your train departs."

She walked out on the front porch. George put on his coat and hat and stood for a minute exhausted in the hall—he had eaten scarcely a bite since he had left New York. Mrs. Cary came over, drew his head down and kissed him on the cheek, and he felt very ridiculous and weak in his knowledge that the scene had been ridiculous and weak at the end. If he had only gone the night before—left her for the last time with a decent pride.

She stepped out onto the front porch. George put on his coat and hat and stood for a moment, exhausted, in the hallway—he had barely eaten anything since leaving New York. Mrs. Cary came over, pulled his head down, and kissed him on the cheek, making him feel foolish and vulnerable, aware that the moment had ultimately been silly and weak. If only he had left the night before—saying goodbye to her for the last time with a bit of dignity.

The taxi had come, and for an hour these two that had been lovers rode along the less-frequented streets. He held her hand and grew calmer in the sunshine, seeing too late that there had been nothing all along to do or say.

The taxi had arrived, and for an hour, these two who had been lovers drove along the quieter streets. He held her hand and began to feel more relaxed in the sunshine, realizing too late that there had really been nothing to do or say all along.

"I'll come back," he told her.

"I'll come back," he said to her.

"I know you will," she answered, trying to put a cheery faith into her voice. "And we'll write each other—sometimes."

"I know you will," she replied, trying to inject a cheerful faith into her voice. "And we'll write to each other—sometimes."

"No," he said, "we won't write. I couldn't stand that. Some day I'll come back."

"No," he said, "we're not going to write. I couldn't handle that. One day I'll come back."

"I'll never forget you, George."

"I'll never forget you, George."

They reached the station, and she went with him while he bought his ticket....

They got to the station, and she went with him while he bought his ticket....

"Why, George O'Kelly and Jonquil Cary!"

"Why, George O'Kelly and Jonquil Cary!"

It was a man and a girl whom George had known when he had worked in town, and Jonquil seemed to greet their presence with relief. For an interminable five minutes they all stood there talking; then the train roared into the station, and with ill-concealed agony in his face George held out his arms toward Jonquil. She took an uncertain step toward him, faltered, and then pressed his hand quickly as if she were taking leave of a chance friend.

It was a man and a girl that George had known while working in town, and Jonquil appeared to welcome their presence with relief. For what felt like an endless five minutes, they all stood there chatting; then the train thundered into the station, and with barely hidden distress on his face, George reached out his arms toward Jonquil. She took a hesitant step toward him, hesitated, and then quickly squeezed his hand as if she were saying goodbye to an acquaintance.

"Good-by, George," she was saying, "I hope you have a pleasant trip.

"Goodbye, George," she said, "I hope you have a great trip."

"Good-by, George. Come back and see us all again."

"Goodbye, George. Come back and visit us again."

Dumb, almost blind with pain, he seized his suitcase, and in some dazed way got himself aboard the train.

Dazed and almost blind from pain, he grabbed his suitcase and somehow made it onto the train.

Past clanging street-crossings, gathering speed through wide suburban spaces toward the sunset. Perhaps she too would see the sunset and pause for a moment, turning, remembering, before he faded with her sleep into the past. This night's dusk would cover up forever the sun and the trees and the flowers and laughter of his young world.

Past noisy street crossings, speeding through spacious neighborhoods toward the sunset. Maybe she would also catch the sunset and take a moment to pause, turning to remember before he slipped away into her dreams and became a memory. The dusk of this night would forever conceal the sun, the trees, the flowers, and the laughter of his youthful world.







IV

On a damp afternoon in September of the following year a young man with his face burned to a deep copper glow got off a train at a city in Tennessee. He looked around anxiously, and seemed relieved when he found that there was no one in the station to meet him. He taxied to the best hotel in the city where he registered with some satisfaction as George O'Kelly, Cuzco, Peru.

On a rainy afternoon in September the next year, a young man with a sunburned face glowing like deep copper stepped off a train in a city in Tennessee. He looked around nervously and seemed relieved to see that no one was there to greet him. He took a taxi to the nicest hotel in the city, where he registered with some satisfaction as George O'Kelly from Cuzco, Peru.

Up in his room he sat for a few minutes at the window looking down into the familiar street below. Then with his hand trembling faintly he took off the telephone receiver and called a number.

Up in his room, he sat for a few minutes by the window, looking down at the familiar street below. Then, with his hand shaking slightly, he picked up the phone and dialed a number.

"Is Miss Jonquil in?"

"Is Miss Jonquil here?"

"This is she."

"This is her."

"Oh—" His voice after overcoming a faint tendency to waver went on with friendly formality.

"Oh—" His voice, after shaking off a slight wavering, continued with a friendly tone.

"This is George Rollins. Did you get my letter?"

"This is George Rollins. Did you receive my letter?"

"Yes. I thought you'd be in to-day."

"Yeah. I thought you'd be in today."

Her voice, cool and unmoved, disturbed him, but not as he had expected. This was the voice of a stranger, unexcited, pleasantly glad to see him—that was all. He wanted to put down the telephone and catch his breath.

Her voice, calm and unaffected, unsettled him, but not in the way he had anticipated. This was the voice of someone unfamiliar, coolly pleased to see him—that was it. He felt the urge to hang up the phone and take a moment to collect himself.

"I haven't seen you for—a long time." He succeeded in making this sound offhand. "Over a year."

"I haven't seen you in a long time." He managed to make it sound casual. "Over a year."

He knew how long it had been—to the day.

He knew exactly how long it had been—to the day.

"It'll be awfully nice to talk to you again."

"It'll be really nice to talk to you again."

"I'll be there in about an hour."

"I'll be there in about an hour."

He hung up. For four long seasons every minute of his leisure had been crowded with anticipation of this hour, and now this hour was here. He had thought of finding her married, engaged, in love—he had not thought she would be unstirred at his return.

He hung up. For four long seasons, every minute of his free time had been filled with the excitement of this moment, and now that moment was here. He had imagined finding her married, engaged, or in love—he had not expected she would be unaffected by his return.

There would never again in his life, he felt, be another ten months like these he had just gone through. He had made an admittedly remarkable showing for a young engineer—stumbled into two unusual opportunities, one in Peru, whence he had just returned, and another, consequent upon it, in New York, whither he was bound. In this short time he had risen from poverty into a position of unlimited opportunity.

There would never again in his life, he felt, be another ten months like the ones he had just experienced. He had made an impressively strong impression for a young engineer—stumbled into two unique opportunities, one in Peru, where he had just returned from, and another, as a result, in New York, where he was headed. In this short time, he had moved from poverty to a position of unlimited opportunity.

He looked at himself in the dressing-table mirror. He was almost black with tan, but it was a romantic black, and in the last week, since he had had time to think about it, it had given him considerable pleasure. The hardiness of his frame, too, he appraised with a sort of fascination. He had lost part of an eyebrow somewhere, and he still wore an elastic bandage on his knee, but he was too young not to realize that on the steamer many women had looked at him with unusual tributary interest.

He looked at himself in the dressing table mirror. His skin was almost completely tanned, but it was a nice tan, and over the past week, since he had time to think about it, it had brought him a lot of joy. He also admired the strength of his body with a kind of fascination. He had lost part of an eyebrow somewhere, and he still had an elastic bandage on his knee, but he was too young not to notice that on the steamer, many women had looked at him with unusual interest.

His clothes, of course, were frightful. They had been made for him by a Greek tailor in Lima—in two days. He was young enough, too, to have explained this sartorial deficiency to Jonquil in his otherwise laconic note. The only further detail it contained was a request that he should not be met at the station.

His clothes, of course, were terrible. They had been made for him by a Greek tailor in Lima—in two days. He was young enough, too, to have mentioned this fashion issue to Jonquil in his otherwise brief note. The only other detail it included was a request that he should not be picked up at the station.

George O'Kelly, of Cuzco, Peru, waited an hour and a half in the hotel, until, to be exact, the sun had reached a midway position in the sky. Then, freshly shaven and talcum-powdered toward a somewhat more Caucasian hue, for vanity at the last minute had overcome romance, he engaged a taxicab and set out for the house he knew so well.

George O'Kelly, from Cuzco, Peru, waited an hour and a half in the hotel until, to be precise, the sun was halfway in the sky. Then, freshly shaved and dusted with talcum powder for a somewhat lighter complexion, as vanity had triumphed over romance at the last minute, he hired a taxi and headed for the house he knew so well.

He was breathing hard—he noticed this but he told himself that it was excitement, not emotion. He was here; she was not married—that was enough. He was not even sure what he had to say to her. But this was the moment of his life that he felt he could least easily have dispensed with. There was no triumph, after all, without a girl concerned, and if he did not lay his spoils at her feet he could at least hold them for a passing moment before her eyes.

He was breathing heavily—he realized this, but he convinced himself it was excitement, not emotions. He was here; she wasn’t married—that was enough. He wasn't even sure what he wanted to say to her. But this was the moment in his life that he felt he absolutely couldn't miss. There was no triumph, after all, without a girl involved, and if he couldn’t present his wins to her, at least he could hold them in front of her for a brief moment.

The house loomed up suddenly beside him, and his first thought was that it had assumed a strange unreality. There was nothing changed—only everything was changed. It was smaller and it seemed shabbier than before—there was no cloud of magic hovering over its roof and issuing from the windows of the upper floor. He rang the door-bell and an unfamiliar colored maid appeared. Miss Jonquil would be down in a moment. He wet his lips nervously and walked into the sitting-room—and the feeling of unreality increased. After all, he saw, this was only a room, and not the enchanted chamber where he had passed those poignant hours. He sat in a chair, amazed to find it a chair, realizing that his imagination had distorted and colored all these simple familiar things.

The house suddenly appeared next to him, and his first thought was that it felt strangely unreal. Nothing had changed—yet everything was different. It seemed smaller and shabbier than before—there was no magical aura around its roof or coming from the upper-floor windows. He rang the doorbell, and an unfamiliar woman of color answered. Miss Jonquil would be down shortly. He nervously wet his lips and walked into the sitting room—and the feeling of unreality intensified. After all, he realized, this was just a room, not the enchanted space where he had spent those intense hours. He sat in a chair, surprised to find it was just a chair, realizing that his imagination had distorted and colored all these simple, familiar things.

Then the door opened and Jonquil came into the room—and it was as though everything in it suddenly blurred before his eyes. He had not remembered how beautiful she was, and he felt his face grow pale and his voice diminish to a poor sigh in his throat.

Then the door opened and Jonquil walked into the room—and it was like everything in it suddenly faded before his eyes. He hadn't remembered how beautiful she was, and he felt his face grow pale and his voice shrink to a weak sigh in his throat.

She was dressed in pale green, and a gold ribbon bound back her dark, straight hair like a crown. The familiar velvet eyes caught his as she came through the door, and a spasm of fright went through him at her beauty's power of inflicting pain.

She wore a light green dress, and a gold ribbon held back her dark, straight hair like a crown. Her familiar, velvety eyes locked onto his as she entered the room, and a jolt of fear shot through him at the way her beauty could cause pain.

He said "Hello," and they each took a few steps forward and shook hands. Then they sat in chairs quite far apart and gazed at each other across the room.

He said "Hey," and they each took a few steps forward and shook hands. Then they sat in chairs pretty far apart and looked at each other across the room.

"You've come back," she said, and he answered just as tritely: "I wanted to stop in and see you as I came through."

"You've returned," she said, and he replied just as casually: "I wanted to swing by and see you while I was passing through."

He tried to neutralize the tremor in his voice by looking anywhere but at her face. The obligation to speak was on him, but, unless he immediately began to boast, it seemed that there was nothing to say. There had never been anything casual in their previous relations—it didn't seem possible that people in this position would talk about the weather.

He tried to steady his voice by avoiding eye contact with her. He felt the need to say something, but unless he started bragging right away, it didn’t seem like he had anything to say. Their past interactions had never been casual—it just didn’t seem likely that people in their situation would chat about the weather.

"This is ridiculous," he broke out in sudden embarrassment. "I don't know exactly what to do. Does my being here bother you?"

"This is ridiculous," he suddenly said, feeling embarrassed. "I’m not sure what to do. Does it bother you that I’m here?"

"No." The answer was both reticent and impersonally sad. It depressed him.

"No." The response was both hesitant and strangely sad. It brought him down.

"Are you engaged?" he demanded.

"Are you dating?" he asked.

"No."

"Nope."

"Are you in love with some one?"

"Are you in love with someone?"

She shook her head.

She shook her head.

"Oh." He leaned back in his chair. Another subject seemed exhausted—the interview was not taking the course he had intended.

"Oh." He leaned back in his chair. Another topic seemed drained—the interview wasn't going the way he had planned.

"Jonquil," he began, this time on a softer key, "after all that's happened between us, I wanted to come back and see you. Whatever I do in the future I'll never love another girl as I've loved you."

"Jonquil," he started, this time in a gentler tone, "after everything that's happened between us, I wanted to come back and see you. No matter what I do in the future, I'll never love another girl the way I loved you."

This was one of the speeches he had rehearsed. On the steamer it had seemed to have just the right note—a reference to the tenderness he would always feel for her combined with a non-committal attitude toward his present state of mind. Here with the past around him, beside him, growing minute by minute more heavy on the air, it seemed theatrical and stale.

This was one of the speeches he had practiced. On the boat, it felt perfectly balanced—a nod to the affection he would always have for her, paired with an indifferent stance on his current feelings. But now, with the past surrounding him, weighing down the atmosphere more and more with each passing minute, it felt overly dramatic and worn out.

She made no comment, sat without moving, her eyes fixed on him with an expression that might have meant everything or nothing.

She didn’t say anything, sat still, her eyes locked on him with a look that could have meant anything or nothing at all.

"You don't love me any more, do you?" he asked her in a level voice.

"You don't love me anymore, do you?" he asked her in a calm voice.

"No."

"Nope."

When Mrs. Cary came in a minute later, and spoke to him about his success—there had been a half-column about him in the local paper—he was a mixture of emotions. He knew now that he still wanted this girl, and he knew that the past sometimes comes back—that was all. For the rest he must be strong and watchful and he would see.

When Mrs. Cary came in a minute later and talked to him about his success—there had been a half-column about him in the local paper—he felt a mix of emotions. He realized that he still wanted this girl and understood that the past sometimes returns—that was it. For everything else, he had to be strong and alert, and he would wait and see.

"And now," Mrs. Cary was saying, "I want you two to go and see the lady who has the chrysanthemums. She particularly told me she wanted to see you because she'd read about you in the paper."

"And now," Mrs. Cary was saying, "I want both of you to go and see the woman who has the chrysanthemums. She specifically told me she wanted to meet you because she read about you in the paper."

They went to see the lady with the chrysanthemums. They walked along the street, and he recognized with a sort of excitement just how her shorter footsteps always fell in between his own. The lady turned out to be nice, and the chrysanthemums were enormous and extraordinarily beautiful. The lady's gardens were full of them, white and pink and yellow, so that to be among them was a trip back into the heart of summer. There were two gardens full, and a gate between them; when they strolled toward the second garden the lady went first through the gate.

They went to visit the woman with the chrysanthemums. They walked down the street, and he felt a thrill as he noticed how her shorter footsteps always fell in sync with his. The woman turned out to be friendly, and the chrysanthemums were huge and incredibly beautiful. Her gardens were filled with them, white, pink, and yellow, making it feel like a return to the heart of summer. There were two gardens packed with flowers, separated by a gate; as they walked toward the second garden, the woman went through the gate first.

And then a curious thing happened. George stepped aside to let Jonquil pass, but instead of going through she stood still and stared at him for a minute. It was not so much the look, which was not a smile, as it was the moment of silence. They saw each other's eyes, and both took a short, faintly accelerated breath, and then they went on into the second garden. That was all.

And then something interesting happened. George stepped aside to let Jonquil pass, but instead of moving through, she just stood there and stared at him for a moment. It wasn’t really the look, which wasn’t a smile, but the silence that lingered. They looked into each other’s eyes, both taking a brief, slightly quicker breath, and then they walked into the second garden. That was it.

The afternoon waned. They thanked the lady and walked home slowly, thoughtfully, side by side. Through dinner too they were silent. George told Mr. Cary something of what had happened in South America, and managed to let it be known that everything would be plain sailing for him in the future.

The afternoon faded. They thanked the woman and walked home slowly, deep in thought, side by side. They were quiet even during dinner. George shared some of what had happened in South America with Mr. Cary and hinted that everything would be smooth sailing for him from now on.

Then dinner was over, and he and Jonquil were alone in the room which had seen the beginning of their love affair and the end. It seemed to him long ago and inexpressibly sad. On that sofa he had felt agony and grief such as he would never feel again. He would never be so weak or so tired and miserable and poor. Yet he knew that that boy of fifteen months before had had something, a trust, a warmth that was gone forever. The sensible thing—they had done the sensible thing. He had traded his first youth for strength and carved success out of despair. But with his youth, life had carried away the freshness of his love.

Then dinner was over, and he and Jonquil were alone in the room where their love story began and ended. It felt like ages ago and indescribably sad. On that sofa, he had experienced pain and sorrow like he would never feel again. He wouldn't be so weak or so exhausted and miserable and broke. Yet he knew that the boy he was fifteen months ago had something, a trust, a warmth that was lost forever. They had made the smart choice—they had done what made sense. He had exchanged his youth for strength and carved success out of despair. But with his youth, life had taken away the freshness of his love.

"You won't marry me, will you?" he said quietly.

"You won't marry me, will you?" he asked softly.

Jonquil shook her dark head.

Jonquil shook her head.

"I'm never going to marry," she answered.

"I'm never getting married," she replied.

He nodded.

He nodded.

"I'm going on to Washington in the morning," he said.

"I'm heading to Washington in the morning," he said.

"Oh——"

"Oh—"

"I have to go. I've got to be in New York by the first, and meanwhile I want to stop off in Washington."

"I need to leave. I have to be in New York by the first, and in the meantime, I want to stop in Washington."

"Business!"

"Business!"

"No-o," he said as if reluctantly. "There's some one there I must see who was very kind to me when I was so—down and out."

"Uh-uh," he said, sounding hesitant. "There's someone there I need to see who was really nice to me when I was so—down and out."

This was invented. There was no one in Washington for him to see—but he was watching Jonquil narrowly, and he was sure that she winced a little, that her eyes closed and then opened wide again.

This was made up. There was no one in Washington for him to meet—but he was watching Jonquil closely, and he was certain that she flinched a bit, that her eyes shut and then opened wide again.

"But before I go I want to tell you the things that happened to me since I saw you, and, as maybe we won't meet again, I wonder if—if just this once you'd sit in my lap like you used to. I wouldn't ask except since there's no one else—yet—perhaps it doesn't matter."

"But before I leave, I want to share the things that have happened to me since I last saw you. And since we might not see each other again, I wonder if—just this once—you'd sit in my lap like you used to. I wouldn't ask if it weren't for the fact that there's no one else—yet—maybe it doesn't matter."

She nodded, and in a moment was sitting in his lap as she had sat so often in that vanished spring. The feel of her head against his shoulder, of her familiar body, sent a shock of emotion over him. His arms holding her had a tendency to tighten around her, so he leaned back and began to talk thoughtfully into the air.

She nodded, and in a moment, she was sitting in his lap like she had so many times in that lost spring. The sensation of her head against his shoulder and her familiar body sent a wave of emotion through him. His arms wrapped around her instinctively tightened, so he leaned back and started to speak thoughtfully into the air.

He told her of a despairing two weeks in New York which had terminated with an attractive if not very profitable job in a construction plant in Jersey City. When the Peru business had first presented itself it had not seemed an extraordinary opportunity. He was to be third assistant engineer on the expedition, but only ten of the American party, including eight rodmen and surveyors, had ever reached Cuzco. Ten days later the chief of the expedition was dead of yellow fever. That had been his chance, a chance for anybody but a fool, a marvellous chance——

He told her about a tough two weeks in New York that ended with a pretty appealing, though not very well-paying, job at a construction site in Jersey City. When the Peru opportunity first came up, it didn’t seem like anything special. He was going to be the third assistant engineer on the expedition, but only ten people from the American team, including eight surveyors and rodmen, had made it to Cuzco. Ten days later, the head of the expedition died from yellow fever. That had been his chance, a chance for anyone but a fool, an amazing chance——

"A chance for anybody but a fool?" she interrupted innocently.

"A chance for anyone but a fool?" she interrupted innocently.

"Even for a fool," he continued. "It was wonderful. Well, I wired New York——"

"Even for an idiot," he continued. "It was amazing. So, I messaged New York——"

"And so," she interrupted again, "they wired that you ought to take a chance?"

"And so," she interrupted again, "they said that you should take a chance?"

"Ought to!" he exclaimed, still leaning back. "That I had to. There was no time to lose——"

"Ought to!" he exclaimed, still leaning back. "That I had to. There was no time to waste——"

"Not a minute?"

"Not even a minute?"

"Not a minute."

"Not a second."

"Not even time for—" she paused.

"Not even time for—" she stopped.

"For what?"

"What's that for?"

"Look."

"Check it out."

He bent his head forward suddenly, and she drew herself to him in the same moment, her lips half open like a flower.

He suddenly leaned his head forward, and she moved closer to him at the same moment, her lips slightly parted like a flower.

"Yes," he whispered into her lips. "There's all the time in the world...."

"Yeah," he whispered against her lips. "We have all the time in the world...."

All the time in the world—his life and hers. But for an instant as he kissed her he knew that though he search through eternity he could never recapture those lost April hours. He might press her close now till the muscles knotted on his arms—she was something desirable and rare that he had fought for and made his own—but never again an intangible whisper in the dusk, or on the breeze of night....

All the time in the world—his life and hers. But for a moment as he kissed her, he realized that no matter how long he searched, he could never get back those lost April hours. He could hold her tight now until his muscles ached—she was something precious and unique that he had fought for and claimed as his own—but he would never again experience that intangible whisper in the twilight, or on the night breeze...

Well, let it pass, he thought; April is over, April is over. There are all kinds of love in the world, but never the same love twice.

Well, let it go, he thought; April is over, April is over. There are all kinds of love in the world, but you never experience the same love twice.







GRETCHEN'S FORTY WINKS

The sidewalks were scratched with brittle leaves, and the bad little boy next door froze his tongue to the iron mail-box. Snow before night, sure. Autumn was over. This, of course, raised the coal question and the Christmas question; but Roger Halsey, standing on his own front porch, assured the dead suburban sky that he hadn't time for worrying about the weather. Then he let himself hurriedly into the house, and shut the subject out into the cold twilight.

The sidewalks were littered with dry leaves, and the mischievous little boy next door stuck his tongue to the iron mailbox. Snow was definitely coming before nightfall. Autumn was done. This, of course, brought up the issues of coal and Christmas; but Roger Halsey, standing on his front porch, told the gloomy suburban sky that he didn’t have time to worry about the weather. Then he quickly stepped inside the house and shut out the topic in the chilly twilight.

The hall was dark, but from above he heard the voices of his wife and the nursemaid and the baby in one of their interminable conversations, which consisted chiefly of "Don't!" and "Look out, Maxy!" and "Oh, there he goes!" punctuated by wild threats and vague bumpings and the recurrent sound of small, venturing feet.

The hall was dark, but from above he heard the voices of his wife, the nursemaid, and the baby in one of their never-ending chats, which mainly consisted of "Don't!" and "Watch out, Maxy!" and "Oh, there he goes!" interrupted by frantic warnings and vague noises and the repeated sound of little, daring feet.

Roger turned on the hall-light and walked into the living-room and turned on the red silk lamp. He put his bulging portfolio on the table, and sitting down rested his intense young face in his hand for a few minutes, shading his eyes carefully from the light. Then he lit a cigarette, squashed it out, and going to the foot of the stairs called for his wife.

Roger turned on the hallway light and walked into the living room, then switched on the red silk lamp. He dropped his overstuffed portfolio on the table and sat down, resting his tense young face in his hand for a few moments, shielding his eyes from the light. After that, he lit a cigarette, put it out, and went to the bottom of the stairs to call for his wife.

"Gretchen!"

"Gretchen!"

"Hello, dear." Her voice was full of laughter. "Come see baby."

"Hey there, sweetie." Her voice was filled with joy. "Come check out the baby."

He swore softly.

He whispered a curse.

"I can't see baby now," he said aloud. "How long 'fore you'll be down?"

"I can't see the baby right now," he said out loud. "How long before you'll be down?"

There was a mysterious pause, and then a succession of "Don'ts" and "Look outs, Maxy" evidently meant to avert some threatened catastrophe.

There was a strange silence, and then a stream of "Don'ts" and "Watch out, Maxy" that clearly aimed to prevent some looming disaster.

"How long 'fore you'll be down?" repeated Roger, slightly irritated.

"How long until you'll be down?" Roger repeated, a bit annoyed.

"Oh, I'll be right down."

"Oh, I'll be right there."

"How soon?" he shouted.

"How soon?" he yelled.

He had trouble every day at this hour in adapting his voice from the urgent key of the city to the proper casualness for a model home. But to-night he was deliberately impatient. It almost disappointed him when Gretchen came running down the stairs, three at a time, crying "What is it?" in a rather surprised voice.

He struggled every day at this time to shift his voice from the urgent tone of the city to the relaxed vibe suited for a model home. But tonight, he was intentionally impatient. He felt a bit let down when Gretchen dashed down the stairs, taking three steps at a time, asking, "What is it?" in a somewhat surprised tone.

They kissed—lingered over it some moments. They had been married three years, and they were much more in love than that implies. It was seldom that they hated each other with that violent hate of which only young couples are capable, for Roger was still actively sensitive to her beauty.

They kissed—holding onto it for a few moments. They had been married for three years, and they were much more in love than that suggests. It was rare for them to feel that kind of intense hatred that only young couples can experience, because Roger was still very attuned to her beauty.

"Come in here," he said abruptly. "I want to talk to you."

"Come in here," he said flatly. "I need to talk to you."

His wife, a bright-colored, Titian-haired girl, vivid as a French rag doll, followed him into the living-room.

His wife, a girl with bright, Titian-colored hair, as lively as a French rag doll, followed him into the living room.

"Listen, Gretchen"—he sat down at the end of the sofa—"beginning with to-night I'm going to—What's the matter?"

"Listen, Gretchen," he said as he sat down at the end of the sofa. "Starting tonight, I'm going to—What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm just looking for a cigarette. Go on."

"Nothing. I'm just searching for a cigarette. Go ahead."

She tiptoed breathlessly back to the sofa and settled at the other end.

She quietly walked back to the sofa and sat down at the other end.

"Gretchen—" Again he broke off. Her hand, palm upward, was extended toward him. "Well, what is it?" he asked wildly.

"Gretchen—" Again he stopped. Her hand, palm up, was reaching out to him. "So, what is it?" he asked frantically.

"Matches."

"Matches."

"What?"

"What the heck?"

In his impatience it seemed incredible that she should ask for matches, but he fumbled automatically in his pocket.

In his impatience, it seemed unbelievable that she would ask for matches, but he automatically fumbled through his pocket.

"Thank you," she whispered. "I didn't mean to interrupt you. Go on."

"Thanks," she whispered. "I didn't mean to interrupt you. Keep going."

"Gretch——"

"Gretch—"

Scratch! The match flared. They exchanged a tense look.

Scratch! The match lit up. They shared a tense glance.

Her fawn's eyes apologized mutely this time, and he laughed. After all, she had done no more than light a cigarette; but when he was in this mood her slightest positive action irritated him beyond measure.

Her fawn's eyes silently apologized this time, and he laughed. After all, she had done nothing more than light a cigarette; but when he was in this mood, even her smallest action annoyed him to no end.

"When you've got time to listen," he said crossly, "you might be interested in discussing the poorhouse question with me."

"When you have some time to listen," he said angrily, "you might want to talk about the poorhouse issue with me."

"What poorhouse?" Her eyes were wide, startled; she sat quiet as a mouse.

"What poorhouse?" Her eyes were wide with shock; she sat as still as a mouse.

"That was just to get your attention. But, beginning to-night, I start on what'll probably be the most important six weeks of my life—the six weeks that'll decide whether we're going on forever in this rotten little house in this rotten little suburban town."

"That was just to grab your attention. But starting tonight, I’m entering what’ll probably be the most important six weeks of my life—the six weeks that will determine if we’re going to stay forever in this awful little house in this awful little suburban town."

Boredom replaced alarm in Gretchen's black eyes. She was a Southern girl, and any question that had to do with getting ahead in the world always tended to give her a headache.

Boredom took over the alarm in Gretchen's dark eyes. She was a Southern girl, and any question about advancing in the world always seemed to give her a headache.

"Six months ago I left the New York Lithographic Company," announced Roger, "and went in the advertising business for myself."

"Six months ago I left the New York Lithographic Company," Roger said, "and started my own advertising business."

"I know," interrupted Gretchen resentfully; "and now instead of getting six hundred a month sure, we're living on a risky five hundred."

"I know," Gretchen interrupted, frustrated. "Now instead of a guaranteed six hundred a month, we're relying on a shaky five hundred."

"Gretchen," said Roger sharply, "if you'll just believe in me as hard as you can for six weeks more we'll be rich. I've got a chance now to get some of the biggest accounts in the country." He hesitated. "And for these six weeks we won't go out at all, and we won't have any one here. I'm going to bring home work every night, and we'll pull down all the blinds and if any one rings the door-bell we won't answer."

"Gretchen," Roger said firmly, "if you just believe in me as much as you can for six more weeks, we'll be wealthy. I have a shot at landing some of the biggest accounts in the country." He paused. "For these six weeks, we won't go out at all, and we won't have anyone over. I'll bring work home every night, and we'll close all the blinds, and if anyone rings the doorbell, we won't answer."

He smiled airily as if it were a new game they were going to play. Then, as Gretchen was silent, his smile faded, and he looked at her uncertainly.

He smiled casually, as if they were about to start a new game. Then, when Gretchen didn't say anything, his smile disappeared, and he glanced at her uncertainly.

"Well, what's the matter?" she broke out finally. "Do you expect me to jump up and sing? You do enough work as it is. If you try to do any more you'll end up with a nervous breakdown. I read about a——"

"Well, what's wrong?" she finally said. "Do you expect me to just jump up and sing? You're doing more than enough as it is. If you push yourself any harder, you'll have a nervous breakdown. I read about a——"

"Don't worry about me," he interrupted; "I'm all right. But you're going to be bored to death sitting here every evening."

"Don’t worry about me," he cut in; "I’m good. But you’re going to be so bored sitting here every evening."

"No, I won't," she said without conviction—"except to-night."

"No, I won't," she said unconvincingly—"except tonight."

"What about to-night?"

"What about tonight?"

"George Tompkins asked us to dinner."

"George Tompkins invited us over for dinner."

"Did you accept?"

"Did you agree?"

"Of course I did," she said impatiently. "Why not? You're always talking about what a terrible neighborhood this is, and I thought maybe you'd like to go to a nicer one for a change."

"Of course I did," she said with annoyance. "Why wouldn't I? You're always complaining about how awful this neighborhood is, and I thought you might want to check out a nicer one for a change."

"When I go to a nicer neighborhood I want to go for good," he said grimly.

"When I go to a nicer neighborhood, I want to go for good," he said seriously.

"Well, can we go?"

"So, can we go?"

"I suppose we'll have to if you've accepted."

"I guess we'll have to if you've agreed."

Somewhat to his annoyance the conversation abruptly ended. Gretchen jumped up and kissed him sketchily and rushed into the kitchen to light the hot water for a bath. With a sigh he carefully deposited his portfolio behind the bookcase—it contained only sketches and layouts for display advertising, but it seemed to him the first thing a burglar would look for. Then he went abstractedly up-stairs, dropped into the baby's room for a casual moist kiss, and began dressing for dinner.

Somewhat annoyingly, the conversation suddenly came to a halt. Gretchen jumped up, gave him a quick kiss, and hurried into the kitchen to start the hot water for a bath. He sighed as he carefully placed his portfolio behind the bookcase—it only held sketches and layouts for display advertisements, but he thought it was the first thing a burglar would check. Then he went upstairs absentmindedly, stopped by the baby’s room for a quick kiss, and started getting ready for dinner.

They had no automobile, so George Tompkins called for them at 6.30. Tompkins was a successful interior decorator, a broad, rosy man with a handsome mustache and a strong odor of jasmine. He and Roger had once roomed side by side in a boarding-house in New York, but they had met only intermittently in the past five years.

They didn't have a car, so George Tompkins picked them up at 6:30. Tompkins was a successful interior decorator, a large, cheerful guy with a nice mustache and a strong scent of jasmine. He and Roger had once lived next to each other in a boarding house in New York, but they'd only seen each other occasionally over the past five years.

"We ought to see each other more," he told Roger to-night. "You ought to go out more often, old boy. Cocktail?"

"We should hang out more," he told Roger tonight. "You need to go out more often, buddy. Cocktail?"

"No, thanks."

"No, thanks."

"No? Well, your fair wife will—won't you, Gretchen?"

"No? Well, your lovely wife will—won't you, Gretchen?"

"I love this house," she exclaimed, taking the glass and looking admiringly at ship models, Colonial whiskey bottles, and other fashionable débris of 1925.

"I love this house," she said, taking the glass and admiring the ship models, Colonial whiskey bottles, and other trendy stuff from 1925.

"I like it," said Tompkins with satisfaction. "I did it to please myself, and I succeeded."

"I like it," Tompkins said, feeling satisfied. "I did it to make myself happy, and I did."

Roger stared moodily around the stiff, plain room, wondering if they could have blundered into the kitchen by mistake.

Roger looked around the stiff, plain room with a frown, wondering if they had accidentally walked into the kitchen.

"You look like the devil, Roger," said his host. "Have a cocktail and cheer up."

"You look like the devil, Roger," his host said. "Grab a cocktail and lighten up."

"Have one," urged Gretchen.

"Take one," urged Gretchen.

"What?" Roger turned around absently. "Oh, no, thanks. I've got to work after I get home."

"What?" Roger turned around distractedly. "Oh, no, thanks. I have to work when I get home."

"Work!" Tompkins smiled. "Listen, Roger, you'll kill yourself with work. Why don't you bring a little balance into your life—work a little, then play a little?"

"Work!" Tompkins smiled. "Hey, Roger, you're going to wear yourself out with all this work. Why don't you add some balance to your life—work a bit, then have some fun?"

"That's what I tell him," said Gretchen.

"That's what I tell him," Gretchen said.

"Do you know an average business man's day?" demanded Tompkins as they went in to dinner. "Coffee in the morning, eight hours' work interrupted by a bolted luncheon, and then home again with dyspepsia and a bad temper to give the wife a pleasant evening."

"Do you know what an average businessman's day is like?" Tompkins asked as they headed to dinner. "Coffee in the morning, eight hours of work interrupted by a quick lunch, and then home again with indigestion and a bad mood to make the evening enjoyable for the wife."

Roger laughed shortly.

Roger chuckled briefly.

"You've been going to the movies too much," he said dryly.

"You've been going to the movies too often," he said flatly.

"What?" Tompkins looked at him with some irritation. "Movies? I've hardly ever been to the movies in my life. I think the movies are atrocious. My opinions on life are drawn from my own observations. I believe in a balanced life."

"What?" Tompkins said, looking at him with a bit of annoyance. "Movies? I've barely been to the movies in my life. I think movies are terrible. My views on life come from my own experiences. I believe in living a balanced life."

"What's that?" demanded Roger.

"What's that?" asked Roger.

"Well"—he hesitated—"probably the best way to tell you would be to describe my own day. Would that seem horribly egotistic?"

"Well," he paused, "the best way to explain would probably be to describe my day. Does that sound really self-centered?"

"Oh, no!" Gretchen looked at him with interest. "I'd love to hear about it."

"Oh, no!" Gretchen said, looking at him with curiosity. "I’d really like to hear about it."

"Well, in the morning I get up and go through a series of exercises. I've got one room fitted up as a little gymnasium, and I punch the bag and do shadow-boxing and weight-pulling for an hour. Then after a cold bath— There's a thing now! Do you take a daily cold bath?"

"Well, in the morning I get up and do a workout routine. I've turned one room into a small gym, where I hit the bag, shadow-box, and do some weight training for an hour. Then, after a cold shower— That's something! Do you take a cold shower every day?"

"No," admitted Roger, "I take a hot bath in the evening three or four times a week."

"No," Roger admitted, "I take a hot bath in the evening three or four times a week."

A horrified silence fell. Tompkins and Gretchen exchanged a glance as if something obscene had been said.

A shocked silence settled in. Tompkins and Gretchen shared a look as if something offensive had been said.

"What's the matter?" broke out Roger, glancing from one to the other in some irritation. "You know I don't take a bath every day—I haven't got the time."

"What's wrong?" Roger said, looking back and forth between them with a bit of irritation. "You know I don’t take a bath every day—I just don’t have the time."

Tompkins gave a prolonged sigh.

Tompkins sighed deeply.

"After my bath," he continued, drawing a merciful veil of silence over the matter, "I have breakfast and drive to my office in New York, where I work until four. Then I lay off, and if it's summer I hurry out here for nine holes of golf, or if it's winter I play squash for an hour at my club. Then a good snappy game of bridge until dinner. Dinner is liable to have something to do with business, but in a pleasant way. Perhaps I've just finished a house for some customer, and he wants me to be on hand for his first party to see that the lighting is soft enough and all that sort of thing. Or maybe I sit down with a good book of poetry and spend the evening alone. At any rate, I do something every night to get me out of myself."

"After my bath," he went on, covering the topic with a welcome silence, "I have breakfast and drive to my office in New York, where I work until four. Then I clock out, and if it’s summer, I rush out here for nine holes of golf, or if it’s winter, I play squash for an hour at my club. After that, I enjoy a lively game of bridge until dinner. Dinner might involve some business, but in a nice way. Maybe I just finished a project for a client, and he wants me to be there for his first party to make sure the lighting is just right and all that sort of thing. Or I might settle down with a good poetry book and spend the evening by myself. Either way, I do something every night to get me out of my own head."

"It must be wonderful," said Gretchen enthusiastically. "I wish we lived like that."

"It must be amazing," said Gretchen excitedly. "I wish we lived like that."

Tompkins bent forward earnestly over the table.

Tompkins leaned forward seriously over the table.

"You can," he said impressively. "There's no reason why you shouldn't. Look here, if Roger'll play nine holes of golf every day it'll do wonders for him. He won't know himself. He'll do his work better, never get that tired, nervous feeling— What's the matter?"

"You can," he said confidently. "There's no reason you shouldn't. Look, if Roger plays nine holes of golf every day, it'll do wonders for him. He won't even recognize himself. He'll perform better at work and won't feel that tired, anxious feeling— What's wrong?"

He broke off. Roger had perceptibly yawned.

He paused. Roger had clearly yawned.

"Roger," cried Gretchen sharply, "there's no need to be so rude. If you did what George said, you'd be a lot better off." She turned indignantly to their host. "The latest is that he's going to work at night for the next six weeks. He says he's going to pull down the blinds and shut us up like hermits in a cave. He's been doing it every Sunday for the last year; now he's going to do it every night for six weeks."

"Roger," Gretchen said sharply, "there's no need to be so rude. If you listened to George, you’d be much better off." She turned angrily to their host. "The latest is that he's planning to work at night for the next six weeks. He says he's going to pull down the blinds and lock us in like hermits in a cave. He’s been doing it every Sunday for the last year; now he’s going to do it every night for six weeks."

Tompkins shook his head sadly.

Tompkins shook his head sadly.

"At the end of six weeks," he remarked, "he'll be starting for the sanitarium. Let me tell you, every private hospital in New York is full of cases like yours. You just strain the human nervous system a little too far, and bang!—you've broken something. And in order to save sixty hours you're laid up sixty weeks for repairs." He broke off, changed his tone, and turned to Gretchen with a smile. "Not to mention what happens to you. It seems to me it's the wife rather than the husband who bears the brunt of these insane periods of overwork."

"After six weeks," he said, "he'll be heading to the sanitarium. Let me tell you, every private hospital in New York is packed with cases like yours. You just push the human nervous system a little too far, and boom!—you've broken something. And to save sixty hours, you're out for sixty weeks getting fixed up." He paused, changed his tone, and smiled at Gretchen. "Not to mention what happens to you. It seems to me it's the wife, not the husband, who really feels the effects of these crazy times of overwork."

"I don't mind," protested Gretchen loyally.

"I don't mind," Gretchen insisted loyally.

"Yes, she does," said Roger grimly; "she minds like the devil. She's a shortsighted little egg, and she thinks it's going to be forever until I get started and she can have some new clothes. But it can't be helped. The saddest thing about women is that, after all, their best trick is to sit down and fold their hands."

"Yes, she does," Roger said seriously; "she cares a lot. She's a narrow-minded little thing, and she thinks it’s going to take forever until I get going and she can get some new clothes. But there's nothing we can do about it. The saddest thing about women is that, in the end, their best move is just to sit back and do nothing."

"Your ideas on women are about twenty years out of date," said Tompkins pityingly. "Women won't sit down and wait any more."

"Your views on women are about twenty years old," Tompkins said with pity. "Women aren't going to sit around and wait anymore."

"Then they'd better marry men of forty," insisted Roger stubbornly. "If a girl marries a young man for love she ought to be willing to make any sacrifice within reason, so long as her husband keeps going ahead."

"Then they should definitely marry guys in their forties," Roger insisted stubbornly. "If a girl marries a young guy for love, she should be ready to make any reasonable sacrifices as long as her husband is making progress."

"Let's not talk about it," said Gretchen impatiently. "Please, Roger, let's have a good time just this once."

"Let's not deal with that," said Gretchen, feeling frustrated. "Come on, Roger, let's just enjoy ourselves for once."

When Tompkins dropped them in front of their house at eleven Roger and Gretchen stood for a moment on the sidewalk looking at the winter moon. There was a fine, damp, dusty snow in the air, and Roger drew a long breath of it and put his arm around Gretchen exultantly.

When Tompkins dropped them off in front of their house at eleven, Roger and Gretchen stood for a moment on the sidewalk, gazing at the winter moon. There was a light, damp, powdery snow in the air, and Roger took a deep breath of it and wrapped his arm around Gretchen excitedly.

"I can make more money than he can," he said tensely. "And I'll be doing it in just forty days."

"I can make more money than he can," he said, tense. "And I'll do it in just forty days."

"Forty days," she sighed. "It seems such a long time—when everybody else is always having fun. If I could only sleep for forty days."

"Forty days," she sighed. "It feels like such a long time—especially when everyone else is having a blast. If only I could just sleep for forty days."

"Why don't you, honey? Just take forty winks, and when you wake up everything'll be fine."

"Why don't you, sweetheart? Just take a short nap, and when you wake up, everything will be fine."

She was silent for a moment.

She was quiet for a moment.

"Roger," she asked thoughtfully, "do you think George meant what he said about taking me horseback riding on Sunday?"

"Roger," she asked thoughtfully, "do you think George meant what he said about taking me horseback riding on Sunday?"

Roger frowned.

Roger frowned.

"I don't know. Probably not—I hope to Heaven he didn't." He hesitated. "As a matter of fact, he made me sort of sore to-night—all that junk about his cold bath."

"I don't know. Probably not—I hope to God he didn't." He paused. "Actually, he kind of annoyed me tonight—all that talk about his cold bath."

With their arms about each other, they started up the walk to the house.

With their arms around each other, they began the walk to the house.

"I'll bet he doesn't take a cold bath every morning," continued Roger ruminatively; "or three times a week, either." He fumbled in his pocket for the key and inserted it in the lock with savage precision. Then he turned around defiantly. "I'll bet he hasn't had a bath for a month."

"I bet he doesn't take a cold shower every morning," Roger continued thoughtfully, "or even three times a week." He searched through his pocket for the key and put it in the lock with fierce determination. Then he turned around boldly. "I bet he hasn't had a bath in a month."







II

After a fortnight of intensive work, Roger Halsey's days blurred into each other and passed by in blocks of twos and threes and fours. From eight until 5.30 he was in his office. Then a half-hour on the commuting train, where he scrawled notes on the backs of envelopes under the dull yellow light. By 7.30 his crayons, shears, and sheets of white cardboard were spread over the living-room table, and he labored there with much grunting and sighing until midnight, while Gretchen lay on the sofa with a book, and the door-bell tinkled occasionally behind the drawn blinds. At twelve there was always an argument as to whether he would come to bed. He would agree to come after he had cleared up everything; but as he was invariably sidetracked by half a dozen new ideas, he usually found Gretchen sound asleep when he tiptoed up-stairs.

After two weeks of intense work, Roger Halsey's days became a blur, blending into each other in groups of two, three, or four. From 8 AM to 5:30 PM, he was in his office. Then he spent half an hour on the train, scribbling notes on the back of envelopes under the dim yellow light. By 7:30 PM, his crayons, scissors, and sheets of white cardboard were spread across the living room table, and he worked there, grunting and sighing, until midnight, while Gretchen lounged on the sofa with a book, and the doorbell rang occasionally behind the closed blinds. At midnight, they always argued about whether he would come to bed. He would agree to go after he finished cleaning up, but since he always got distracted by a handful of new ideas, he usually found Gretchen fast asleep when he tiptoed upstairs.

Sometimes it was three o'clock before Roger squashed his last cigarette into the overloaded ashtray, and he would undress in the darkness, disembodied with fatigue, but with a sense of triumph that he had lasted out another day.

Sometimes it was three in the morning before Roger crushed his last cigarette into the overflowing ashtray, and he would strip down in the dark, feeling worn out but also a sense of achievement that he had made it through another day.

Christmas came and went and he scarcely noticed that it was gone. He remembered it afterward as the day he completed the window-cards for Garrod's shoes. This was one of the eight large accounts for which he was pointing in January—if he got half of them he was assured a quarter of a million dollars' worth of business during the year.

Christmas came and went, and he barely noticed it was over. He remembered it later as the day he finished the window displays for Garrod's shoes. This was one of the eight major accounts he was pitching for in January—if he secured even half of them, he'd be guaranteed a quarter of a million dollars in business for the year.

But the world outside his business became a chaotic dream. He was aware that on two cool December Sundays George Tompkins had taken Gretchen horseback riding, and that another time she had gone out with him in his automobile to spend the afternoon skiing on the country-club hill. A picture of Tompkins, in an expensive frame, had appeared one morning on their bedroom wall. And one night he was shocked into a startled protest when Gretchen went to the theatre with Tompkins in town.

But the world outside his business turned into a chaotic dream. He knew that on two cool Sundays in December, George Tompkins had taken Gretchen horseback riding, and that another time she had spent the afternoon skiing on the country-club hill with him in his car. One morning, a photo of Tompkins, in a fancy frame, showed up on their bedroom wall. And one night, he was taken aback and voiced his surprise when Gretchen went to the theater with Tompkins in town.

But his work was almost done. Daily now his layouts arrived from the printers until seven of them were piled and docketed in his office safe. He knew how good they were. Money alone couldn't buy such work; more than he realized himself, it had been a labor of love.

But his work was almost done. Every day now his layouts came from the printers until seven of them were stacked and filed in his office safe. He knew how good they were. Money alone couldn't buy work like this; more than he realized, it had been a labor of love.

December tumbled like a dead leaf from the calendar. There was an agonizing week when he had to give up coffee because it made his heart pound so. If he could hold on now for four days—three days——

December fell away like a dead leaf from the calendar. There was a painful week when he had to stop drinking coffee because it made his heart race. If he could just hang in there for four days—three days—

On Thursday afternoon H. G. Garrod was to arrive in New York. On Wednesday evening Roger came home at seven to find Gretchen poring over the December bills with a strange expression in her eyes.

On Thursday afternoon, H. G. Garrod was scheduled to arrive in New York. On Wednesday evening, Roger came home at seven to find Gretchen going over the December bills with a peculiar look in her eyes.

"What's the matter?"

"What's wrong?"

She nodded at the bills. He ran through them, his brow wrinkling in a frown.

She nodded at the bills. He looked through them, his brow furrowing in a frown.

"Gosh!"

"Wow!"

"I can't help it," she burst out suddenly. "They're terrible."

"I can't help it," she said suddenly. "They're awful."

"Well, I didn't marry you because you were a wonderful housekeeper. I'll manage about the bills some way. Don't worry your little head over it."

"Look, I didn't marry you because you were an amazing housekeeper. I'll figure out the bills somehow. Don't stress about it."

She regarded him coldly.

She looked at him coldly.

"You talk as if I were a child."

"You talk like I'm a child."

"I have to," he said with sudden irritation.

"I have to," he said, suddenly annoyed.

"Well, at least I'm not a piece of bric-à-brac that you can just put somewhere and forget."

"Well, at least I'm not some random junk that you can just stash away and forget about."

He knelt down by her quickly, and took her arms in his hands.

He quickly knelt down beside her and took her arms in his hands.

"Gretchen, listen!" he said breathlessly. "For God's sake, don't go to pieces now! We're both all stored up with malice and reproach, and if we had a quarrel it'd be terrible. I love you, Gretchen. Say you love me—quick!"

"Gretchen, listen!" he said, breathless. "Please, don't fall apart now! We're both loaded with anger and blame, and if we start fighting, it would be awful. I love you, Gretchen. Just tell me you love me—hurry!"

"You know I love you."

"I love you, you know."

The quarrel was averted, but there was an unnatural tenseness all through dinner. It came to a climax afterward when he began to spread his working materials on the table.

The argument was avoided, but there was an awkward tension throughout dinner. It reached a peak later when he started to lay out his work materials on the table.

"Oh, Roger," she protested, "I thought you didn't have to work to-night."

"Oh, Roger," she said, "I thought you didn't have to work tonight."

"I didn't think I'd have to, but something came up."

"I didn't expect to have to, but something came up."

"I've invited George Tompkins over."

"I've invited George over."

"Oh, gosh!" he exclaimed. "Well, I'm sorry, honey, but you'll have to phone him not to come."

"Oh, gosh!" he said. "Well, I'm sorry, babe, but you’ll need to call him and tell him not to come."

"He's left," she said. "He's coming straight from town. He'll be here any minute now."

"He's gone," she said. "He's coming straight from town. He'll be here any minute."

Roger groaned. It occurred to him to send them both to the movies, but somehow the suggestion stuck on his lips. He did not want her at the movies; he wanted her here, where he could look up and know she was by his side.

Roger groaned. He thought about sending them both to the movies, but somehow the idea got stuck in his throat. He didn’t want her at the movies; he wanted her here, where he could look up and see she was right next to him.

George Tompkins arrived breezily at eight o'clock.

George Tompkins showed up casually at eight o'clock.

"Aha!" he cried reprovingly, coming into the room. "Still at it."

"Aha!" he exclaimed disapprovingly as he walked into the room. "Still at it."

Roger agreed coolly that he was.

Roger agreed calmly that he was.

"Better quit—better quit before you have to."

"Better to quit—better to quit before you have to."

He sat down with a long sigh of physical comfort and lit a cigarette. "Take it from a fellow who's looked into the question scientifically. We can stand so much, and then—bang!"

He sat down with a long sigh of relief and lit a cigarette. "Take it from someone who's examined the issue scientifically. We can handle so much, and then—bang!"

"If you'll excuse me"—Roger made his voice as polite as possible—"I'm going up-stairs and finish this work."

"If you'll excuse me," Roger said, trying to sound as polite as he could, "I'm going upstairs to finish this work."

"Just as you like, Roger." George waved his hand carelessly. "It isn't that I mind. I'm the friend of the family and I'd just as soon see the missus as the mister." He smiled playfully. "But if I were you, old boy, I'd put away my work and get a good night's sleep."

"Sure, Roger." George waved his hand casually. "It’s not a big deal for me. I’m family friends, and I’d just as soon see the wife as the husband." He grinned playfully. "But if I were you, my friend, I’d put away my work and get some good rest."

When Roger had spread out his materials on the bed up-stairs he found that he could still hear the rumble and murmur of their voices through the thin floor. He began wondering what they found to talk about. As he plunged deeper into his work his mind had a tendency to revert sharply to his question, and several times he arose and paced nervously up and down the room.

When Roger laid out his materials on the upstairs bed, he realized he could still hear the low roar and chatter of their voices through the thin floor. He started to wonder what they were talking about. As he focused more on his work, his mind kept snapping back to that question, and several times he got up and walked anxiously up and down the room.

The bed was ill adapted to his work. Several times the paper slipped from the board on which it rested, and the pencil punched through. Everything was wrong to-night. Letters and figures blurred before his eyes, and as an accompaniment to the beating of his temples came those persistent murmuring voices.

The bed was poorly suited for his work. Several times, the paper slipped off the board it was resting on, and the pencil broke through. Everything felt off tonight. Letters and numbers swam before his eyes, and along with the pounding in his temples came those constant murmuring voices.

At ten he realized that he had done nothing for more than an hour, and with a sudden exclamation he gathered together his papers, replaced them in his portfolio, and went down-stairs. They were sitting together on the sofa when he came in.

At ten, he realized he hadn't accomplished anything for over an hour, and with a sudden exclamation, he gathered his papers, put them back in his portfolio, and headed downstairs. They were sitting on the sofa together when he walked in.

"Oh, hello!" cried Gretchen, rather unnecessarily, he thought. "We were just discussing you."

"Oh, hey!" Gretchen exclaimed, which he thought was a bit unnecessary. "We were just talking about you."

"Thank you," he answered ironically. "What particular part of my anatomy was under the scalpel?"

"Thanks," he replied sarcastically. "Which part of my body was being operated on?"

"Your health," said Tompkins jovially.

"Your health," Tompkins said cheerfully.

"My health's all right," answered Roger shortly.

"My health is fine," Roger replied briefly.

"But you look at it so selfishly, old fella," cried Tompkins. "You only consider yourself in the matter. Don't you think Gretchen has any rights? If you were working on a wonderful sonnet or a—a portrait of some madonna or something"—he glanced at Gretchen's Titian hair—"why, then I'd say go ahead. But you're not. It's just some silly advertisement about how to sell Nobald's hair tonic, and if all the hair tonic ever made was dumped into the ocean to-morrow the world wouldn't be one bit the worse for it."

"But you're looking at it so selfishly, man," Tompkins exclaimed. "You only think about yourself in this situation. Don't you believe Gretchen has any rights? If you were working on an amazing sonnet or a—a portrait of some madonna or something"—he glanced at Gretchen's Titian hair—"then I'd say go for it. But you're not. It's just a silly advertisement about how to sell Nobald's hair tonic, and if all the hair tonic ever produced was dumped into the ocean tomorrow, the world wouldn't be any worse off for it."

"Wait a minute," said Roger angrily; "that's not quite fair. I'm not kidding myself about the importance of my work—it's just as useless as the stuff you do. But to Gretchen and me it's just about the most important thing in the world."

"Hold on a second," Roger said angrily; "that's not really fair. I'm not fooling myself about how important my work is—it's just as pointless as what you do. But for Gretchen and me, it's pretty much the most important thing in the world."

"Are you implying that my work is useless?" demanded Tompkins incredulously.

"Are you saying that my work is worthless?" Tompkins asked, incredulous.

"No; not if it brings happiness to some poor sucker of a pants manufacturer who doesn't know how to spend his money."

"No; not if it makes some unfortunate pants manufacturer happy who doesn't know how to use his money."

Tompkins and Gretchen exchanged a glance.

Tompkins and Gretchen shared a look.

"Oh-h-h!" exclaimed Tompkins ironically. "I didn't realize that all these years I've just been wasting my time."

"Oh-h-h!" Tompkins said with sarcasm. "I didn't realize that all these years I've just been wasting my time."

"You're a loafer," said Roger rudely.

"You're a slacker," Roger said rudely.

"Me?" cried Tompkins angrily. "You call me a loafer because I have a little balance in my life and find time to do interesting things? Because I play hard as well as work hard and don't let myself get to be a dull, tiresome drudge?"

"Me?" Tompkins shouted, annoyed. "You call me a slacker just because I balance my life and make time for interesting things? Because I play just as hard as I work and refuse to become a boring, tedious drudge?"

Both men were angry now, and their voices had risen, though on Tompkins's face there still remained the semblance of a smile.

Both men were angry now, and their voices had gotten louder, though Tompkins still had a hint of a smile on his face.

"What I object to," said Roger steadily, "is that for the last six weeks you seem to have done all your playing around here."

"What I have a problem with," Roger said calmly, "is that for the past six weeks, it seems like you've done all your fooling around here."

"Roger!" cried Gretchen. "What do you mean by talking like that?"

"Roger!" exclaimed Gretchen. "What do you mean by speaking like that?"

"Just what I said."

"Exactly what I said."

"You've just lost your temper." Tompkins lit a cigarette with ostentatious coolness. "You're so nervous from overwork you don't know what you're saying. You're on the verge of a nervous break——"

"You've just lost your cool." Tompkins lit a cigarette with noticeable nonchalance. "You're so stressed from overworking that you don't even realize what you're saying. You're on the edge of a nervous breakdown——"

"You get out of here!" cried Roger fiercely. "You get out of here right now—before I throw you out!"

"You need to leave now!" Roger shouted angrily. "Get out of here right now—before I force you out!"

Tompkins got angrily to his feet.

Tompkins stood up in anger.

"You—you throw me out?" he cried incredulously.

"You—are you kicking me out?" he said in disbelief.

They were actually moving toward each other when Gretchen stepped between them, and grabbing Tompkins's arm urged him toward the door.

They were actually moving toward each other when Gretchen stepped in between them and took Tompkins's arm, urging him toward the door.

"He's acting like a fool, George, but you better get out," she cried, groping in the hall for his hat.

"He's acting like an idiot, George, but you should really leave," she shouted, searching in the hallway for his hat.

"He insulted me!" shouted Tompkins. "He threatened to throw me out!"

"He insulted me!" Tompkins shouted. "He said he would kick me out!"

"Never mind, George," pleaded Gretchen. "He doesn't know what he's saying. Please go! I'll see you at ten o'clock to-morrow."

"Forget it, George," Gretchen begged. "He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Just go! I’ll see you at ten o’clock tomorrow."

She opened the door.

She opened the door.

"You won't see him at ten o'clock to-morrow," said Roger steadily. "He's not coming to this house any more."

"You won't see him at ten o'clock tomorrow," Roger said firmly. "He's not coming to this house anymore."

Tompkins turned to Gretchen.

Tompkins looked at Gretchen.

"It's his house," he suggested. "Perhaps we'd better meet at mine."

"It's his house," he said. "Maybe we should meet at my place instead."

Then he was gone, and Gretchen had shut the door behind him. Her eyes were full of angry tears.

Then he left, and Gretchen closed the door behind him. Her eyes were filled with angry tears.

"See what you've done!" she sobbed. "The only friend I had, the only person in the world who liked me enough to treat me decently, is insulted by my husband in my own house."

"Look at what you've done!" she cried. "The only friend I had, the only person in the world who cared enough to treat me well, is disrespected by my husband in my own home."

She threw herself on the sofa and began to cry passionately into the pillows.

She collapsed onto the sofa and started crying intensely into the pillows.

"He brought it on himself," said Roger stubbornly. "I've stood as much as my self-respect will allow. I don't want you going out with him any more."

"He brought it on himself," Roger said stubbornly. "I've put up with as much as my self-respect allows. I don't want you seeing him anymore."

"I will go out with him!" cried Gretchen wildly. "I'll go out with him all I want! Do you think it's any fun living here with you?"

"I'll go out with him!" Gretchen yelled. "I can go out with him anytime I want! Do you really think it's enjoyable living here with you?"

"Gretchen," he said coldly, "get up and put on your hat and coat and go out that door and never come back!"

"Gretchen," he said coldly, "get up, put on your hat and coat, go out that door, and never come back!"

Her mouth fell slightly ajar.

Her mouth dropped slightly open.

"But I don't want to get out," she said dazedly.

"But I don't want to get out," she said, feeling confused.

"Well, then, behave yourself." And he added in a gentler voice: "I thought you were going to sleep for this forty days."

"Alright, then, just behave." He added in a softer tone, "I thought you were going to sleep for these forty days."

"Oh, yes," she cried bitterly, "easy enough to say! But I'm tired of sleeping." She got up, faced him defiantly. "And what's more, I'm going riding with George Tompkins to-morrow."

"Oh, yes," she exclaimed bitterly, "it's easy for you to say! But I'm done with sleeping." She stood up and faced him defiantly. "And what's more, I'm going riding with George Tompkins tomorrow."

"You won't go out with him if I have to take you to New York and sit you down in my office until I get through."

"You won't go out with him if I have to take you to New York and keep you in my office until I'm done."

She looked at him with rage in her eyes.

She looked at him with anger in her eyes.

"I hate you," she said slowly. "And I'd like to take all the work you've done and tear it up and throw it in the fire. And just to give you something to worry about to-morrow, I probably won't be here when you get back."

"I hate you," she said slowly. "And I want to take everything you've done and rip it up and throw it in the fire. And just to give you something to stress about tomorrow, I probably won't be here when you get back."

She got up from the sofa, and very deliberately looked at her flushed, tear-stained face in the mirror. Then she ran up-stairs and slammed herself into the bedroom.

She got up from the couch and intentionally looked at her flushed, tear-stained face in the mirror. Then she ran upstairs and slammed the door to the bedroom.

Automatically Roger spread out his work on the living-room table. The bright colors of the designs, the vivid ladies—Gretchen had posed for one of them—holding orange ginger ale or glistening silk hosiery, dazzled his mind into a sort of coma. His restless crayon moved here and there over the pictures, shifting a block of letters half an inch to the right, trying a dozen blues for a cool blue, and eliminating the word that made a phrase anæmic and pale. Half an hour passed—he was deep in the work now; there was no sound in the room but the velvety scratch of the crayon over the glossy board.

Automatically, Roger spread out his work on the living room table. The bright colors of the designs and the lively women—Gretchen had posed for one of them—holding orange ginger ale or shimmering silk stockings, dazzled his mind into a sort of daze. His restless crayon moved around the pictures, shifting a block of letters half an inch to the right, trying a dozen shades of blue for a cool tone, and erasing the word that made a phrase weak and dull. Half an hour passed—he was deep into the work now; the only sound in the room was the velvety scratch of the crayon over the glossy board.

After a long while he looked at his watch—it was after three. The wind had come up outside and was rushing by the house corners in loud, alarming swoops, like a heavy body falling through space. He stopped his work and listened. He was not tired now, but his head felt as if it was covered with bulging veins like those pictures that hang in doctors' offices showing a body stripped of decent skin. He put his hands to his head and felt it all over. It seemed to him that on his temple the veins were knotty and brittle around an old scar.

After a while, he checked his watch—it was after three. The wind had picked up outside, rushing past the corners of the house with loud, alarming gusts, like a heavy object falling through the air. He paused his work and listened. He wasn't tired anymore, but his head felt like it was full of bulging veins, like those images that hang in doctors' offices showing a body stripped of skin. He placed his hands on his head and felt around. It seemed to him that the veins on his temple were knotted and fragile around an old scar.

Suddenly he began to be afraid. A hundred warnings he had heard swept into his mind. People did wreck themselves with overwork, and his body and brain were of the same vulnerable and perishable stuff. For the first time he found himself envying George Tompkins's calm nerves and healthy routine. He arose and began pacing the room in a panic.

Suddenly, he started to feel scared. A hundred warnings he had heard rushed into his mind. People really do damage themselves by overworking, and his body and mind were made of the same fragile and temporary stuff. For the first time, he found himself envying George Tompkins's steady nerves and healthy habits. He got up and started pacing the room in a panic.

"I've got to sleep," he whispered to himself tensely. "Otherwise I'm going crazy."

"I need to sleep," he murmured to himself anxiously. "Otherwise, I'm losing it."

He rubbed his hand over his eyes, and returned to the table to put up his work, but his fingers were shaking so that he could scarcely grasp the board. The sway of a bare branch against the window made him start and cry out. He sat down on the sofa and tried to think.

He rubbed his eyes and went back to the table to set aside his work, but his fingers were shaking so much that he could hardly hold the board. The movement of a bare branch against the window startled him, making him cry out. He sat down on the sofa and tried to think.

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" the clock said. "Stop! Stop! Stop!"

"Stop! Stop! Stop!" the clock said. "Stop! Stop! Stop!"

"I can't stop," he answered aloud. "I can't afford to stop."

"I can't stop," he said out loud. "I can't afford to stop."

Listen! Why, there was the wolf at the door now! He could hear its sharp claws scrape along the varnished woodwork. He jumped up, and running to the front door flung it open; then started back with a ghastly cry. An enormous wolf was standing on the porch, glaring at him with red, malignant eyes. As he watched it the hair bristled on its neck; it gave a low growl and disappeared in the darkness. Then Roger realized with a silent, mirthless laugh that it was the police dog from over the way.

Listen! Suddenly, there was the wolf at the door! He could hear its sharp claws scraping against the polished wood. He jumped up, ran to the front door, and flung it open; then he recoiled with a horrified scream. A huge wolf was standing on the porch, staring at him with red, malicious eyes. As he watched, the hair raised on its neck; it let out a low growl and vanished into the darkness. Then Roger realized with a silent, humorless laugh that it was the police dog from across the street.

Dragging his limbs wearily into the kitchen, he brought the alarm-clock into the living-room and set it for seven. Then he wrapped himself in his overcoat, lay down on the sofa and fell immediately into a heavy, dreamless sleep.

Dragging his tired limbs into the kitchen, he brought the alarm clock into the living room and set it for seven. Then he wrapped himself in his overcoat, lay down on the couch, and immediately fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

When he awoke the light was still shining feebly, but the room was the gray color of a winter morning. He got up, and looking anxiously at his hands found to his relief that they no longer trembled. He felt much better. Then he began to remember in detail the events of the night before, and his brow drew up again in three shallow wrinkles. There was work ahead of him, twenty-four hours of work; and Gretchen, whether she wanted to or not, must sleep for one more day.

When he woke up, the light was still dim, but the room had the gray color of a winter morning. He got up and, looking nervously at his hands, was relieved to see they weren't shaking anymore. He felt much better. Then he started to remember the events of the previous night in detail, and his forehead wrinkled again in three shallow lines. He had a lot of work ahead of him, twenty-four hours of it; and Gretchen, whether she wanted to or not, needed to sleep for one more day.

Roger's mind glowed suddenly as if he had just thought of a new advertising idea. A few minutes later he was hurrying through the sharp morning air to Kingsley's drug-store.

Roger's mind lit up suddenly as if he had just come up with a new advertising idea. A few minutes later, he was rushing through the chilly morning air to Kingsley's drugstore.

"Is Mr. Kingsley down yet?"

"Is Mr. Kingsley here yet?"

The druggist's head appeared around the corner of the prescription-room.

The pharmacist's head peeked around the corner of the prescription room.

"I wonder if I can talk to you alone."

"I wonder if I can talk to you privately."

At 7.30, back home again, Roger walked into his own kitchen. The general housework girl had just arrived and was taking off her hat.

At 7:30, back home again, Roger walked into his kitchen. The housekeeper had just arrived and was taking off her hat.

"Bebé"—he was not on familiar terms with her; this was her name—"I want you to cook Mrs. Halsey's breakfast right away. I'll take it up myself."

"Bebé"—he didn't know her well; this was her name—"I need you to make Mrs. Halsey's breakfast right now. I'll take it up myself."

It struck Bebé that this was an unusual service for so busy a man to render his wife, but if she had seen his conduct when he had carried the tray from the kitchen she would have been even more surprised. For he set it down on the dining-room table and put into the coffee half a teaspoonful of a white substance that was not powdered sugar. Then he mounted the stairs and opened the door of the bedroom.

It occurred to Bebé that it was unusual for such a busy man to do something like this for his wife, but if she had witnessed how he acted when he brought the tray from the kitchen, she would have been even more shocked. He placed it on the dining room table and added half a teaspoon of a white substance to the coffee that wasn’t powdered sugar. Then he went upstairs and opened the bedroom door.

Gretchen woke up with a start, glanced at the twin bed which had not been slept in, and bent on Roger a glance of astonishment, which changed to contempt when she saw the breakfast in his hand. She thought he was bringing it as a capitulation.

Gretchen woke up suddenly, glanced at the unoccupied twin bed, and shot Roger a look of surprise that turned to disdain when she noticed the breakfast in his hand. She thought he was offering it as a sign of surrender.

"I don't want any breakfast," she said coldly, and his heart sank, "except some coffee."

"I don’t want any breakfast," she said coldly, and his heart sank, "except for some coffee."

"No breakfast?" Roger's voice expressed disappointment.

"No breakfast?" Roger said, sounding disappointed.

"I said I'd take some coffee."

"I said I'd get some coffee."

Roger discreetly deposited the tray on a table beside the bed and returned quickly to the kitchen.

Roger quietly set the tray on a table next to the bed and quickly went back to the kitchen.

"We're going away until to-morrow afternoon," he told Bebé, "and I want to close up the house right now. So you just put on your hat and go home."

"We're leaving until tomorrow afternoon," he told Bebé, "and I need to lock up the house now. So put on your hat and head home."

He looked at his watch. It was ten minutes to eight, and he wanted to catch the 8.10 train. He waited five minutes and then tiptoed softly up-stairs and into Gretchen's room. She was sound asleep. The coffee cup was empty save for black dregs and a film of thin brown paste on the bottom. He looked at her rather anxiously, but her breathing was regular and clear.

He checked his watch. It was ten minutes to eight, and he wanted to catch the 8:10 train. He waited for five minutes and then tiptoed quietly upstairs into Gretchen's room. She was fast asleep. The coffee cup was empty except for some black dregs and a thin layer of brown goo at the bottom. He glanced at her with some concern, but her breathing was steady and clear.

From the closet he took a suitcase and very quickly began filling it with her shoes—street shoes, evening slippers, rubber-soled oxfords—he had not realized that she owned so many pairs. When he closed the suitcase it was bulging.

From the closet, he grabbed a suitcase and quickly started packing her shoes—casual shoes, evening slippers, rubber-soled oxfords—he hadn't noticed she had so many pairs. When he zipped up the suitcase, it was overflowing.

He hesitated a minute, took a pair of sewing scissors from a box, and following the telephone-wire until it went out of sight behind the dresser, severed it in one neat clip. He jumped as there was a soft knock at the door. It was the nursemaid. He had forgotten her existence.

He paused for a moment, grabbed a pair of sewing scissors from a box, and followed the telephone wire until it disappeared behind the dresser, cutting it in one clean snip. He jumped at the sound of a gentle knock on the door. It was the nursemaid. He had completely forgotten about her.

"Mrs. Halsey and I are going up to the city till to-morrow," he said glibly. "Take Maxy to the beach and have lunch there. Stay all day."

"Mrs. Halsey and I are heading to the city until tomorrow," he said casually. "Take Maxy to the beach and have lunch there. Stay all day."

Back in the room, a wave of pity passed over him. Gretchen seemed suddenly lovely and helpless, sleeping there. It was somehow terrible to rob her young life of a day. He touched her hair with his fingers, and as she murmured something in her dream he leaned over and kissed her bright cheek. Then he picked up the suitcase full of shoes, locked the door, and ran briskly down the stairs.

Back in the room, he felt a rush of pity. Gretchen looked so beautiful and vulnerable as she slept. It felt awful to take a day away from her young life. He brushed his fingers through her hair, and as she murmured something in her sleep, he leaned in and kissed her cheek. Then he grabbed the suitcase full of shoes, locked the door, and hurried down the stairs.







III

By five o'clock that afternoon the last package of cards for Garrod's shoes had been sent by messenger to H. G. Garrod at the Biltmore Hotel. He was to give a decision next morning. At 5.30 Roger's stenographer tapped him on the shoulder.

By five o'clock that afternoon, the last package of cards for Garrod's shoes had been sent by messenger to H. G. Garrod at the Biltmore Hotel. He was supposed to make a decision the next morning. At 5:30, Roger's assistant tapped him on the shoulder.

"Mr. Golden, the superintendent of the building, to see you."

"Mr. Golden, the building superintendent, is here to see you."

Roger turned around dazedly.

Roger turned around in a daze.

"Oh, how do?"

"Oh, how are you?"

Mr. Golden came directly to the point. If Mr. Halsey intended to keep the office any longer, the little oversight about the rent had better be remedied right away.

Mr. Golden got straight to the point. If Mr. Halsey planned to hold onto the office any longer, the small issue with the rent should be fixed immediately.

"Mr. Golden," said Roger wearily, "everything'll be all right to-morrow. If you worry me now maybe you'll never get your money. After to-morrow nothing'll matter."

"Mr. Golden," Roger said tiredly, "everything will be fine tomorrow. If you stress me out now, you might not get your money at all. After tomorrow, nothing will matter."

Mr. Golden looked at the tenant uneasily. Young men sometimes did away with themselves when business went wrong. Then his eye fell unpleasantly on the initialled suitcase beside the desk.

Mr. Golden looked at the tenant nervously. Young men sometimes took their own lives when business went south. Then his gaze landed uncomfortably on the suitcase with initials next to the desk.

"Going on a trip?" he asked pointedly.

"Are you going on a trip?" he asked directly.

"What? Oh, no. That's just some clothes."

"What? Oh, no. That's just some clothes."

"Clothes, eh? Well, Mr. Halsey, just to prove that you mean what you say, suppose you let me keep that suitcase until to-morrow noon."

"Clothes, huh? Well, Mr. Halsey, just to show that you’re serious, why don't you let me hold onto that suitcase until tomorrow noon?"

"Help yourself."

"Serve yourself."

Mr. Golden picked it up with a deprecatory gesture.

Mr. Golden picked it up with a dismissive gesture.

"Just a matter of form," he remarked.

"Just a formality," he said.

"I understand," said Roger, swinging around to his desk. "Good afternoon."

"I get it," said Roger, turning to his desk. "Good afternoon."

Mr. Golden seemed to feel that the conversation should close on a softer key.

Mr. Golden seemed to think that the conversation should end on a lighter note.

"And don't work too hard, Mr. Halsey. You don't want to have a nervous break——"

"And don't work too hard, Mr. Halsey. You don't want to have a panic attack——"

"No," shouted Roger, "I don't. But I will if you don't leave me alone."

"No," Roger shouted, "I don't. But I will if you don't leave me alone."

As the door closed behind Mr. Golden, Roger's stenographer turned sympathetically around.

As the door shut behind Mr. Golden, Roger's assistant turned around with a sympathetic expression.

"You shouldn't have let him get away with that," she said. "What's in there? Clothes?"

"You shouldn't have let him get away with that," she said. "What's in there? Clothes?"

"No," answered Roger absently. "Just all my wife's shoes."

"No," Roger replied absentmindedly. "Just all my wife's shoes."

He slept in the office that night on a sofa beside his desk. At dawn he awoke with a nervous start, rushed out into the street for coffee, and returned in ten minutes in a panic—afraid that he might have missed Mr. Garrod's telephone call. It was then 6.30.

He slept in the office that night on a sofa next to his desk. At dawn, he woke up with a jolt, ran out into the street for coffee, and came back in ten minutes in a frenzy—worried that he might have missed Mr. Garrod's call. It was then 6:30.

By eight o'clock his whole body seemed to be on fire. When his two artists arrived he was stretched on the couch in almost physical pain. The phone rang imperatively at 9.30, and he picked up the receiver with trembling hands.

By eight o'clock, his entire body felt like it was on fire. When his two artists arrived, he was lying on the couch in nearly unbearable pain. The phone rang urgently at 9:30, and he answered it with shaky hands.

"Hello."

"Hey."

"Is this the Halsey agency?"

"Is this Halsey's agency?"

"Yes, this is Mr. Halsey speaking."

"Yes, this is Mr. Halsey."

"This is Mr. H. G. Garrod."

"This is Mr. H. G. Garrod."

Roger's heart stopped beating.

Roger's heart stopped.

"I called up, young fellow, to say that this is wonderful work you've given us here. We want all of it and as much more as your office can do."

"I called to say, young man, that this is amazing work you've done here. We want all of it and as much more as your office can provide."

"Oh, God!" cried Roger into the transmitter.

"Oh my God!" Roger yelled into the transmitter.

"What?" Mr. H. G. Garrod was considerably startled. "Say, wait a minute there!"

"What?" Mr. H. G. Garrod was quite taken aback. "Hold on a second there!"

But he was talking to nobody. The phone had clattered to the floor, and Roger, stretched full length on the couch, was sobbing as if his heart would break.

But he was talking to nobody. The phone had fallen to the floor, and Roger, lying flat on the couch, was crying as if his heart would shatter.







IV

Three hours later, his face somewhat pale, but his eyes calm as a child's, Roger opened the door of his wife's bedroom with the morning paper under his arm. At the sound of his footsteps she started awake.

Three hours later, his face a bit pale but his eyes calm like a child's, Roger opened the door to his wife's bedroom with the morning paper tucked under his arm. At the sound of his footsteps, she jolted awake.

"What time is it?" she demanded.

"What time is it?" she asked.

He looked at his watch.

He checked his watch.

"Twelve o'clock."

"Midnight."

Suddenly she began to cry.

Suddenly, she started crying.

"Roger," she said brokenly, "I'm sorry I was so bad last night."

"Roger," she said with difficulty, "I'm sorry I was so awful last night."

He nodded coolly.

He nodded casually.

"Everything's all right now," he answered. Then, after a pause: "I've got the account—the biggest one."

"Everything's good now," he replied. Then, after a moment: "I got the account—the biggest one."

She turned toward him quickly.

She quickly turned toward him.

"You have?" Then, after a minute's silence: "Can I get a new dress?"

"You have?" Then, after a moment of silence: "Can I get a new dress?"

"Dress?" He laughed shortly. "You can get a dozen. This account alone will bring us in forty thousand a year. It's one of the biggest in the West."

"Dress?" He chuckled briefly. "You could get a dozen. This account alone will bring us in forty grand a year. It's one of the biggest in the West."

She looked at him, startled.

She gazed at him, shocked.

"Forty thousand a year!"

"$40,000 a year!"

"Yes."

Yes.

"Gosh"—and then faintly—"I didn't know it'd really be anything like that." Again she thought a minute. "We can have a house like George Tompkins'."

"Gosh"—and then softly—"I didn't know it would actually be anything like that." She paused for a moment again. "We can have a house like George Tompkins'."

"I don't want an interior-decoration shop."

"I don't want a home decor store."

"Forty thousand a year!" she repeated again, and then added softly: "Oh, Roger——"

"Forty thousand a year!" she repeated, and then added softly: "Oh, Roger——"

"Yes?"

"Yup?"

"I'm not going out with George Tompkins."

"I'm not seeing George Tompkins."

"I wouldn't let you, even if you wanted to," he said shortly.

"I wouldn't let you, even if you asked," he said briefly.

She made a show of indignation.

She pretended to be outraged.

"Why, I've had a date with him for this Thursday for weeks."

"Why, I've had a date with him for this Thursday for weeks."

"It isn't Thursday."

"It's not Thursday."

"It is."

"It is."

"It's Friday."

"Happy Friday!"

"Why, Roger, you must be crazy! Don't you think I know what day it is?"

"Why, Roger, you must be out of your mind! Don't you think I know what day it is?"

"It isn't Thursday," he said stubbornly. "Look!" And he held out the morning paper.

"It’s not Thursday," he said stubbornly. "Look!" He held out the morning paper.

"Friday!" she exclaimed. "Why, this is a mistake! This must be last week's paper. To-day's Thursday."

"Friday!" she shouted. "This has to be a mistake! This must be last week's paper. Today is Thursday."

She closed her eyes and thought for a moment.

She shut her eyes and paused to think for a moment.

"Yesterday was Wednesday," she said decisively. "The laundress came yesterday. I guess I know."

"Yesterday was Wednesday," she said firmly. "The laundress came yesterday. I think I know."

"Well," he said smugly, "look at the paper. There isn't any question about it."

"Well," he said confidently, "check the newspaper. There's no doubt about it."

With a bewildered look on her face she got out of bed and began searching for her clothes. Roger went into the bathroom to shave. A minute later he heard the springs creak again. Gretchen was getting back into bed.

With a confused expression on her face, she got out of bed and started looking for her clothes. Roger went into the bathroom to shave. A minute later, he heard the springs creak again. Gretchen was getting back into bed.

"What's the matter?" he inquired, putting his head around the corner of the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" he asked, peeking around the bathroom door.

"I'm scared," she said in a trembling voice. "I think my nerves are giving away. I can't find any of my shoes."

"I'm scared," she said, her voice shaking. "I think I'm losing my nerves. I can't find any of my shoes."

"Your shoes? Why, the closet's full of them."

"Your shoes? Well, the closet is packed with them."

"I know, but I can't see one." Her face was pale with fear. "Oh, Roger!"

"I get that, but I can't see anything." Her face was white with fear. "Oh, Roger!"

Roger came to her bedside and put his arm around her.

Roger came to her bedside and wrapped his arm around her.

"Oh, Roger," she cried, "what's the matter with me? First that newspaper, and now all my shoes. Take care of me, Roger."

"Oh, Roger," she exclaimed, "what's wrong with me? First the newspaper, and now all my shoes. Please take care of me, Roger."

"I'll get the doctor," he said.

"I'll call the doctor," he said.

He walked remorselessly to the telephone and took up the receiver.

He walked purposefully to the phone and picked up the receiver.

"Phone seems to be out of order," he remarked after a minute; "I'll send Bebé."

"Looks like the phone's not working," he noted after a moment; "I'll send Bebé."

The doctor arrived in ten minutes.

The doctor showed up in ten minutes.

"I think I'm on the verge of a collapse," Gretchen told him in a strained voice.

"I think I'm about to break down," Gretchen said to him in a tense voice.

Doctor Gregory sat down on the edge of the bed and took her wrist in his hand.

Doctor Gregory sat on the edge of the bed and took her wrist in his hand.

"It seems to be in the air this morning."

"It feels like it's in the air this morning."

"I got up," said Gretchen in an awed voice, "and I found that I'd lost a whole day. I had an engagement to go riding with George Tompkins——"

"I got up," Gretchen said in an amazed voice, "and I realized that I had lost an entire day. I was supposed to go riding with George Tompkins——"

"What?" exclaimed the doctor in surprise. Then he laughed.

"What?" the doctor exclaimed in surprise. Then he laughed.

"George Tompkins won't go riding with any one for many days to come."

"George Tompkins won't be going riding with anyone for many days."

"Has he gone away?" asked Gretchen curiously.

"Has he left?" Gretchen asked with curiosity.

"He's going West."

"He's heading West."

"Why?" demanded Roger. "Is he running away with somebody's wife?"

"Why?" Roger asked. "Is he running away with someone's wife?"

"No," said Doctor Gregory. "He 's had a nervous breakdown."

"No," said Doctor Gregory. "He’s had a nervous breakdown."

"What?" they exclaimed in unison.

"What?" they said together.

"He just collapsed like an opera-hat in his cold shower."

"He just collapsed like a folded hat in his cold shower."

"But he was always talking about his—his balanced life," gasped Gretchen. "He had it on his mind."

"But he was always talking about his—his balanced life," gasped Gretchen. "It was always on his mind."

"I know," said the doctor. "He's been babbling about it all morning. I think it's driven him a little mad. He worked pretty hard at it, you know."

"I know," said the doctor. "He's been talking about it all morning. I think it's driven him a bit crazy. He put in a lot of effort, you know."

"At what?" demanded Roger in bewilderment.

"At what?" Roger asked, confused.

"At keeping his life balanced." He turned to Gretchen. "Now all I'll prescribe for this lady here is a good rest. If she'll just stay around the house for a few days and take forty winks of sleep she'll be as fit as ever. She's been under some strain."

"At keeping his life balanced." He turned to Gretchen. "All I’m going to recommend for her is some good rest. If she just stays home for a few days and gets some sleep, she'll be back to her old self in no time. She's been under a bit of stress."

"Doctor," exclaimed Roger hoarsely, "don't you think I'd better have a rest or something? I've been working pretty hard lately."

"Doctor," Roger said hoarsely, "don't you think I should take a break or something? I've been working really hard lately."

"You!" Doctor Gregory laughed, slapped him violently on the back. "My boy, I never saw you looking better in your life."

"You!" Doctor Gregory laughed, giving him a hearty slap on the back. "My boy, I've never seen you look better!"

Roger turned away quickly to conceal his smile—winked forty times, or almost forty times, at the autographed picture of Mr. George Tompkins, which hung slightly askew on the bedroom wall.

Roger quickly turned away to hide his smile—he winked nearly forty times at the autographed picture of Mr. George Tompkins, which hung a bit crooked on the bedroom wall.








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