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THE MISER.

(L'AVARE.)

BY

MOLIÈRE

TRANSLATED INTO ENGLISH PROSE.

WITH A SHORT INTRODUCTION AND EXPLANATORY NOTES.

BY

CHARLES HERON WALL

This play was acted for the first time on September 9, 1668. In it, Molière has borrowed from Plautus, and has imitated several other authors, but he far surpasses them in the treatment of his subject. The picture of the miser, in whom love of money takes the place of all natural affections, who not only withdraws from family intercourse, but considers his children as natural enemies, is finely drawn, and renders Molière's Miser altogether more dramatic and moral than those of his predecessors.

This play was performed for the first time on September 9, 1668. In it, Molière borrowed from Plautus and imitated several other writers, but he far exceeds them in how he handles the subject. The portrayal of the miser, who prioritizes his love of money over all natural feelings, who not only isolates himself from family but views his children as enemies, is masterfully depicted and makes Molière's Miser much more dramatic and meaningful than those of his predecessors.

Molière acted the part of Harpagon.

Molière played the role of Harpagon.

PERSONS REPRESENTED.

Harpagon, father to Cléante, in love with Marianne.
Cléante, Harpagon's son, lover to Marianne.
Valère, son to Anselme, and lover to Élise.
Anselme, father to Valère and Marianne.
Master Simon, broker.
Master Jacques, cook and coachman to Harpagon.
La Flèche, valet to Cléante.
Brindavoine, and La Merluche, lackeys to Harpagon.
A Magistrate and his Clerk.
Élise, daughter to Harpagon.
Marianne, daughter to Anselme.
Frosine, an intriguing woman.
Mistress Claude, servant to Harpagon.

Harpagon, father of Cléante, in love with Marianne.
Cléante, Harpagon's son, in love with Marianne.
Valerie, son of Anselm, and in love with Élise.
Anselm, father of Valerie and Marianne.
Master Simon, broker.
Master Jack, cook and coachman for Harpagon.
The Arrow, servant to Cléante.
Brindavoine, and La Merluche, servants to Harpagon.
A Judge and his Assistant.
Élise, daughter of Harpagon.
Marianne, daughter of Anselm.
Frosine, a scheming woman.
Madam Claude, servant to Harpagon.

The scene is at Paris, in Harpagon's house.

THE MISER.

ACT I.

SCENE I.——VALÈRE, ÉLISE.

Val. What, dear Élise! you grow sad after having given me such dear tokens of your love; and I see you sigh in the midst of my joy! Can you regret having made me happy? and do you repent of the engagement which my love has forced from you?

Val. What’s wrong, dear Élise? You seem sad even after giving me such sweet symbols of your love, and I notice you sigh while I’m feeling so happy! Are you regretting making me happy? Do you wish you hadn’t committed to me like my love has made you do?

Eli. No, Valère, I do not regret what I do for you; I feel carried on by too delightful a power, and I do not even wish that things should be otherwise than they are. Yet, to tell you the truth, I am very anxious about the consequences; and I greatly fear that I love you more than I should.

Eli. No, Valère, I don’t regret what I do for you; I feel uplifted by such a wonderful force, and I don’t even wish things were different. But to be honest, I’m really worried about the consequences; I’m afraid I love you more than I should.

Val. What can you possibly fear from the affection you have shown me?

Val. What could you possibly be afraid of from the love you’ve shown me?

Eli. Everything; the anger of my father, the reproaches of my family, the censure of the world, and, above all, Valère, a change in your heart! I fear that cruel coldness with which your sex so often repays the too warm proofs of an innocent love.

Eli. Everything—the anger of my father, the accusations from my family, the criticism from everyone, and, most importantly, Valère, a change in your heart! I'm worried about that harsh coldness with which your gender often responds to the intense expressions of innocent love.

Val. Alas! do not wrong me thus; do not judge of me by others. Think me capable of everything, Élise, except of falling short of what I owe to you. I love you too much for that; and my love will be as lasting as my life!

Val. Please, don’t do this to me; don’t judge me based on others. Believe that I’m capable of anything, Élise, except for letting you down. I love you way too much for that, and my love will last as long as I live!

Eli. Ah! Valère, all men say the same thing; all men are alike in their words; their actions only show the difference that exists between them.

Eli. Ah! Valère, all men say the same thing; all men sound the same in what they say; their actions are the only thing that reveal the differences between them.

Val. Then why not wait for actions, if by them alone you can judge of the truthfulness of my heart? Do not suffer your anxious fears to mislead you, and to wrong me. Do not let an unjust suspicion destroy the happiness which is to me dearer than life; but give me time to show you by a thousand proofs the sincerity of my affection.

Val. Then why not wait for my actions? That's the only way you can really see how true my feelings are. Don’t let your worries lead you astray and make you think wrong about me. Don’t let unfair doubts ruin the happiness that means more to me than anything; just give me time to show you with countless examples how sincere my love is.

Eli. Alas! how easily do we allow ourselves to be persuaded by those we love. I believe you, Valère; I feel sure that your heart is utterly incapable of deceiving me, that your love is sincere, and that you will ever remain faithful to me. I will no longer doubt that happiness is near. If I grieve, it will only be over the difficulties of our position, and the possible censures of the world.

Eli. Oh! How easily we let ourselves be convinced by those we care about. I believe you, Valère; I’m certain that your heart can never deceive me, that your love is genuine, and that you will always stay loyal to me. I will no longer doubt that happiness is close. If I feel sad, it will only be because of the challenges we face and the potential judgments from others.

Val. But why even this fear?

Val. But why is there even this fear?

Eli. Oh, Valère! if everybody knew you as I do, I should not have much to fear. I find in you enough to justify all I do for you; my heart knows all your merit, and feels, moreover, bound to you by deep gratitude. How can I forget that horrible moment when we met for the first time? Your generous courage in risking your own life to save mine from the fury of the waves; your tender care afterwards; your constant attentions and your ardent love, which neither time nor difficulties can lessen! For me you neglect your parents and your country; you give up your own position in life to be a servant of my father! How can I resist the influence that all this has over me? Is it not enough to justify in my eyes my engagement to you? Yet, who knows if it will be enough to justify it in the eyes of others? and how can I feel sure that my motives will be understood?

Eli. Oh, Valère! If everyone knew you like I do, I wouldn't have much to worry about. I see enough in you to justify everything I do for you; my heart recognizes all your virtues and feels deeply grateful to you. How can I forget that terrible moment when we first met? Your brave choice to risk your own life to save mine from the raging waves; your caring support afterward; your constant attention and passionate love, which neither time nor challenges can diminish! For me, you put aside your parents and your homeland; you give up your own place in life to serve my father! How can I resist the pull of all this? Isn't it enough to make me feel justified in my commitment to you? But who knows if it will be enough to convince others? And how can I be sure my reasons will be understood?

Val. You try in vain to find merit in what I have done; it is by my love alone that I trust to deserve you. As for the scruples you feel, your father himself justifies you but too much before the world; and his avarice and the distant way in which he lives with his children might authorise stranger things still. Forgive me, my dear Élise, for speaking thus of your father before you; but you know that, unfortunately, on this subject no good can be said of him. However, if I can find my parents, as I fully hope I shall, they will soon be favourable to us. I am expecting news of them with great impatience; but if none comes I will go in search of them myself.

Val. You’re trying hard to find something good in what I’ve done; it’s only my love that makes me believe I deserve you. As for your doubts, your father himself defends you too much in public, and his greed and the way he keeps distance from his children could justify even stranger things. Please forgive me, my dear Élise, for speaking about your father like this in front of you; but you know that, sadly, there’s nothing good to say about him in this matter. However, if I can track down my parents, which I truly believe I will, they will soon be supportive of us. I’m waiting eagerly for news about them; if nothing comes, I’ll go look for them myself.

Eli. Oh no! Valère, do not leave me, I entreat you. Try rather to ingratiate yourself in my father's favour.

Eli. Oh no! Valère, please don’t go, I’m begging you. Instead, try to win my father's approval.

Val. You know how much I wish it, and you can see how I set about it. You know the skilful manoeuvres I have had to use in order to introduce myself into his service; under what a mask of sympathy and conformity of tastes I disguise my own feelings to please him; and what a part I play to acquire his affection. I succeed wonderfully well, and I feel that to obtain favour with men, there are no better means than to pretend to be of their way of thinking, to fall in with their maxims, to praise their defects, and to applaud all their doings. One need not fear to overdo it, for however gross the flattery, the most cunning are easily duped; there is nothing so impertinent or ridiculous which they will not believe, provided it be well seasoned with praise. Honesty suffers, I acknowledge; but when we have need of men, we may be allowed without blame to adapt ourselves to their mode of thought; and if we have no other hope of success but through such stratagem, it is not after all the fault of those who flatter, but the fault of those who wish to be flattered.

Val. You know how much I wish for this, and you can see how I go about it. You know the clever tactics I’ve used to get into his service; the way I've masked my true feelings with sympathy and shared interests just to please him; and the role I play to win his affection. I'm really good at it, and I've realized that to gain favor with people, the best way is to pretend to think like them, to agree with their beliefs, to compliment their flaws, and to applaud everything they do. You don’t have to worry about overdoing it because, no matter how blatant the flattery, even the smartest can be easily tricked; there’s nothing so outrageous or silly that they won’t believe if it’s wrapped in praise. I admit that honesty takes a hit; but when we need people, it’s okay to adapt to their way of thinking without feeling guilty. And if our only hope for success relies on such tactics, it’s not really the fault of those who flatter, but the fault of those who want to be flattered.

Eli. Why do you not try also to gain my brother's goodwill, in case the servant should betray our secret?

Eli. Why don't you also try to win my brother's favor, in case the servant reveals our secret?

Val. I am afraid I cannot humour them both. The temper of the father is so different from that of the son that it would be difficult to be the confidant of both at the same time. Rather try your brother yourself; make use of the love that exists between you to enlist him in our cause. I leave you, for I see him coming. Speak to him, sound him, and see how far we can trust him.

Val. I'm afraid I can't please both of them. The father's temperament is so different from the son's that it would be hard to be close to both at the same time. Instead, try talking to your brother yourself; use the bond of love between you to get him on our side. I’ll leave you now, as I see him coming. Talk to him, gauge his thoughts, and figure out how much we can trust him.

Eli. I greatly fear I shall never have the courage to speak to him of my secret.

Eli. I'm really afraid I'll never have the courage to tell him my secret.

SCENE II.——CLÉANTE, ÉLISE,

Cle. I am very glad to find you alone, sister. I longed to speak to you and to tell you a secret.

Cle. I'm really glad to find you alone, sister. I've been wanting to talk to you and share a secret.

Eli. I am quite ready to hear you, brother. What is it you have to tell me?

Eli. I'm all ears, brother. What do you want to share with me?

Cle. Many things, sister, summed up in one word—love.

Cle. So many things, sister, summed up in one word—love.

Eli. You love?

Eli. Do you love?

Cle. Yes, I love. But, before I say more, let me tell you that I know I depend on my father, and that the name of son subjects me to his will; that it would be wrong to engage ourselves without the consent of the authors of our being; that heaven has made them the masters of our affections, and that it is our duty not to dispose of ourselves but in accordance to their wish; that their judgment is not biassed by their being in love themselves; that they are, therefore, much more likely not to be deceived by appearances, and to judge better what is good for us; that we ought to trust their experience rather than the passion which blinds us; and that the rashness of youth often carries us to the very brink of dangerous abysses. I know all this, my sister, and I tell it you to spare you the trouble of saying it to me, for my love will not let me listen to anything, and I pray you to spare me your remonstrances.

Cle. Yes, I love. But, before I say more, let me point out that I know I rely on my father, and that being his son puts me under his authority; that it would be wrong for us to get involved without the approval of those who brought us into this world; that fate has made them the guides of our feelings, and it’s our duty to act according to their wishes; that their judgment isn’t clouded by their own romantic feelings; that they are therefore much less likely to be fooled by appearances and can judge better what’s good for us; that we should trust their experience instead of the passion that blinds us; and that the recklessness of youth often leads us to the edge of dangerous pitfalls. I understand all this, my sister, and I’m telling you to save you the effort of saying it to me, because my love won’t let me hear anything else, and I ask you to spare me your lectures.

Eli. Have you engaged yourself, brother, to her you love?

Eli. Have you committed yourself, brother, to the one you love?

Cle. No, but I have determined to do so; and I beseech you once more not to bring forward any reason to dissuade me from it.

Cle. No, but I’ve made up my mind to do it; and I ask you once again not to present any arguments to talk me out of it.

Eli. Am I such a very strange person, brother?

Eli. Am I really that odd, brother?

Cle. No, dear sister; but you do not love. You know not the sweet power that love has upon our hearts; and I dread your wisdom.

Cle. No, dear sister; but you don't really love. You don't understand the beautiful power that love has over our hearts; and I fear your intelligence.

Eli. Alas! my brother, let us not speak of my wisdom. There are very few people in this world who do not lack wisdom, were it only once in their lifetime; and if I opened my heart to you, perhaps you would think me less wise than you are yourself.

Eli. Oh, my brother, let’s not talk about my wisdom. There are very few people in this world who don't lack wisdom at some point in their lives; and if I were to share my true feelings with you, you might see me as less wise than you are.

Cle. Ah! would to heaven that your heart, like mine …

Cle. Ah! I wish to God that your heart, like mine …

Eli. Let us speak of you first, and tell me whom it is you love.

Eli. Let’s talk about you first, and tell me who it is you love.

Cle. A young girl who has lately come to live in our neighbourhood, and who seems made to inspire love in all those who behold her. Nature, my dear sister, has made nothing more lovely; and I felt another man the moment I saw her. Her name is Marianne, and she lives with a good, kind mother, who is almost always ill, and for whom the dear girl shows the greatest affection. She waits upon her, pities and comforts her with a tenderness that would touch you to the very soul. Whatever she undertakes is done in the most charming way; and in all her actions shine a wonderful grace, a most winning gentleness, an adorable modesty, a … ah! my sister, how I wish you had but seen her.

Cle. There's a young girl who recently moved into our neighborhood, and she seems to inspire love in everyone who sees her. Nature, my dear sister, hasn't created anything more beautiful; I felt like a different man the moment I laid eyes on her. Her name is Marianne, and she lives with a sweet, kind mother who is almost always unwell, and the dear girl cares for her with deep affection. She attends to her, feels for her, and comforts her with a tenderness that would move you to your core. Everything she does is in the most charming way; her every action radiates a wonderful grace, an incredibly sweet gentleness, an adorable modesty… ah! my sister, how I wish you could have seen her.

Eli. I see many things in what you tell me, dear brother; and it is sufficient for me to know that you love her for me to understand what she is.

Eli. I see a lot in what you’re telling me, dear brother; and it’s enough for me to know that you love her for me to grasp who she is.

Cle. I have discovered, without their knowing it, that they are not in very good circumstances, and that, although they live with the greatest care, they have barely enough to cover their expenses. Can you imagine, my sister, what happiness it must be to improve the condition of those we love; skilfully to bring about some relief to the modest wants of a virtuous family? And think what grief it is for me to find myself deprived of this great joy through the avarice of a father, and for it to be impossible for me to give any proof of my love to her who is all in all to me.

Cle. I’ve found out, without them knowing, that they aren’t doing well at all, and even though they live frugally, they barely have enough to cover their expenses. Can you imagine, my sister, what a joy it must be to improve the situation of those we care about; to cleverly provide some relief for the simple needs of a good family? And think about the sadness I feel knowing I’m missing out on this great happiness because of my father’s greed, and how I can’t show any proof of my love to the one person who means everything to me.

Eli. Yes, I understand, dear brother, what sorrow this must be to you.

Eli. Yes, I get it, dear brother, how heartbreaking this must be for you.

Cle. It is greater, my sister, than you can believe. For is there anything more cruel than this mean economy to which we are subjected? this strange penury in which we are made to pine? What good will it do us to have a fortune if it only comes to us when we are not able to enjoy it; if now to provide for my daily maintenance I get into debt on every side; if both you and I are reduced daily to beg the help of tradespeople in order to have decent clothes to wear? In short, I wanted to speak to you that you might help me to sound my father concerning my present feelings; and if I find him opposed to them, I am determined to go and live elsewhere with this most charming girl, and to make the best of what Providence offers us. I am trying everywhere to raise money for this purpose; and if your circumstances, dear sister, are like mine, and our father opposes us, let us both leave him, and free ourselves from the tyranny in which his hateful avarice has for so long held us.

Cle. It's more than you can imagine, my sister. Is there anything more cruel than this harsh situation we're stuck in? This strange poverty that makes us suffer? What good is it to have wealth if it's only available when we can't enjoy it; if I have to go into debt just to cover my daily needs? If both you and I are forced to ask tradespeople for help just to have decent clothes? In short, I wanted to talk to you so you could help me approach our father about how I feel right now; and if he disagrees, I'm set on moving away with this wonderful girl and making the most of what life gives us. I'm trying everywhere to raise money for this purpose; and if your situation, dear sister, is like mine and our father opposes us, let's both leave him and free ourselves from the control of his greed that has held us captive for so long.

Eli. It is but too true that every day he gives us more and more reason to regret the death of our mother, and that …

Eli. It’s all too true that each day he gives us more and more reasons to mourn the loss of our mother, and that …

Cle. I hear his voice. Let us go a little farther and finish our talk. We will afterwards join our forces to make a common attack on his hard and unkind heart.

Cle. I hear his voice. Let’s go a bit further and wrap up our conversation. After that, we’ll join forces to launch a united attack on his cold and unkind heart.

SCENE III.——HARPAGON, LA FLÈCHE.

Har. Get out of here, this moment; and let me have no more of your prating. Now then, be gone out of my house, you sworn pickpocket, you veritable gallows' bird.

Har. Get out of here right now; I don't want to hear any more of your nonsense. Now, leave my house, you lying thief, you real troublemaker.

La Fl. (aside). I never saw anything more wicked than this cursed old man; and I truly believe, if I may be allowed to say so, that he is possessed with a devil.

La Fl. (aside). I've never seen anything more evil than this cursed old man; and I honestly believe, if I can say it, that he’s possessed by a devil.

Har. What are you muttering there between your teeth?

Har. What are you mumbling under your breath?

La Fl. Why do you send me away?

La Fl. Why are you sending me away?

Har. You dare to ask me my reasons, you scoundrel? Out with you, this moment, before I give you a good thrashing.

Har. You have the nerve to ask me why, you rascal? Get out right now, before I give you a serious beating.

La Fl. What have I done to you?

Har. Done this, that I wish you to be off.

Har. Having done this, I want you to leave.

La Fl. My master, your son, gave me orders to wait for him.

La Fl. My master, your son, told me to wait for him.

Har. Go and wait for him in the street, then; out with you; don't stay in my house, straight and stiff as a sentry, to observe what is going on, and to make your profit of everything. I won't always have before me a spy on all my affairs; a treacherous scamp, whose cursed eyes watch all my actions, covet all I possess, and ferret about in every corner to see if there is anything to steal.

Har. Go wait for him in the street then; get out of here; don’t linger in my house, rigid and stiff like a guard, watching everything that happens and trying to take advantage of it. I won’t always have a spy on all my business; a deceitful scoundrel, whose nasty eyes scrutinize all my actions, envy everything I have, and snoop around every corner to see if there’s anything to steal.

La Fl. How the deuce could one steal anything from you? Are you a man likely to be robbed when you put every possible thing under lock and key, and mount guard day and night?

La Fl. How on earth could anyone steal anything from you? Are you really someone who could get robbed when you lock everything up tight and keep watch day and night?

Har. I will lock up whatever I think fit, and mount guard when and where I please. Did you ever see such spies as are set upon me to take note of everything I do? (Aside) I tremble for fear he should suspect something of my money. (Aloud) Now, aren't you a fellow to give rise to stories about my having money hid in my house?

Har. I’ll secure whatever I choose and keep watch wherever and whenever I want. Have you ever seen such nosy people watching me, tracking everything I do? (Aside) I'm pretty nervous he might suspect something about my money. (Aloud) Now, aren’t you the kind of guy who starts rumors about me hiding cash in my house?

La Fl. You have some money hid in your house?

La Fl. Do you have some money hidden in your house?

Har. No, scoundrel! I do not say that. (Aside) I am furious! (Aloud) I only ask if out of mischief you do not spread abroad the report that I have some?

Har. No, you rogue! That’s not what I mean. (Aside) I’m really angry! (Aloud) I just want to know if, for fun, you’re spreading the rumor that I have some?

La Fl. Oh! What does it matter whether you have money, or whether you have not, since it is all the same to us?

La Fl. Oh! Who cares if you have money or not? It doesn't make a difference to us!

Har. (raising his hand to give La Flèche a blow). Oh! oh! You want to argue, do you? I will give you, and quickly too, some few of these arguments about your ears. Get out of the house, I tell you once more.

Har. (raising his hand to give The Arrow a hit). Oh! oh! You want to argue, huh? I’ll give you a few of these arguments right to your face. Get out of the house, I’m telling you again.

La Fl. Very well; very well. I am going.

La Fl. Alright; alright. I'm going.

Har. No, wait; are you carrying anything away with you?

Har. No, hold on; are you taking anything with you?

La Fl. What can I possibly carry away?

La Fl. What can I take with me?

Har. Come here, and let me see. Show me your hands.

Har. Come here, and let me take a look. Show me your hands.

La Fl. There they are.

Har. The others.

La Fl. The others?

La Fl. What about the others?

Har. Yes.

Yes.

La Fl. There they are.

La Fl. They’re over there.

Har. (pointing to La Flèche's breeches). Have you anything hid in here?

Har. (pointing to La Flèche's breeches). Do you have anything hidden in there?

La Fl. Look for yourself.

La Fl. Check it out.

Har. (feeling the knees of the breeches). These wide knee-breeches are convenient receptacles of stolen goods; and I wish a pair of them had been hanged.

Har. (feeling the knees of the breeches). These loose knee-breeches are great pockets for stolen stuff; and I wish a pair of them had been caught.

La Fl. (aside). Ah! how richly such a man deserves what he fears, and what joy it would be to me to steal some of his …

La Fl. (aside). Ah! how much that man deserves what he dreads, and how delightful it would be for me to take some of his …

Har. Eh?

Har. Huh?

La Fl. What?

Har. What is it you talk of stealing?

Har. What are you talking about stealing?

La Fl. I say that you feel about everywhere to see if I have been stealing anything.

La Fl. I’m saying that you look around everywhere to check if I’ve stolen anything.

Har. And I mean to do so too. (He feels in La Flèche's pockets).

Har. And I plan to do that as well. (He checks in La Flèche's pockets).

La Fl. Plague take all misers and all miserly ways!

La Fl. Curse all the stingy people and their cheap ways!

Har. Eh? What do you say?

Har. Huh? What do you mean?

La Fl. What do I say?

La Fl. What should I say?

Har. Yes. What is it you say about misers and miserly ways.

Har. Yes. What do you say about people who are stingy and cheap?

La Fl. I say plague take all misers and all miserly ways.

La Fl. I say curse all greedy people and all stingy behaviors.

Har. Of whom do you speak?

Har. Who are you talking about?

La Fl. Of misers.

La Fl. Of cheapskates.

Har. And who are they, these misers?

Har. And who are these greedy people?

La Fl. Villains and stingy wretches!

La Fl. Villains and greedy scoundrels!

Har. But what do you mean by that?

Har. But what are you talking about?

La Fl. Why do you trouble yourself so much about what I say?

La Fl. Why do you stress so much about what I say?

Har. I trouble myself because I think it right to do so.

Har. I worry because I believe it's the right thing to do.

La Fl. Do you think I am speaking about you?

La Fl. Do you think I'm talking about you?

Har. I think what I think; but I insist upon your telling me to whom you speak when you say that.

Har. I think what I think; but I need you to tell me who you’re talking about when you say that.

La Fl. To whom I speak? I am speaking to the inside of my hat.

La Fl. Who am I talking to? I'm talking to the inside of my hat.

Har. And I will, perhaps, speak to the outside of your head.

Har. And I might, maybe, talk to the outside of your head.

La Fl. Would you prevent me from cursing misers?

La Fl. Would you stop me from insulting stingy people?

Har. No; but I will prevent you from prating and from being insolent. Hold your tongue, will you?

Har. No; but I will stop you from talking nonsense and being rude. Can you please be quiet?

La Fl. I name nobody.

La Fl. I name no one.

Har. Another word, and I'll thrash you.

Har. One more word, and I'll beat you up.

La Fl. He whom the cap fits, let him wear it.

La Fl. If the cap fits, wear it.

Har. Will you be silent?

Har. Will you be quiet?

La Fl. Yes; much against my will.

La Fl. Yeah; not at all what I wanted.

Har. Ah! ah!

La Fl. (showing Harpagon one of his doublet pockets). Just look, here is one more pocket. Are you satisfied?

La Fl. (showing Harpagon one of his doublet pockets). Just look, here’s another pocket. Are you happy now?

Har. Come, give it up to me without all that fuss.

Har. Come on, just give it to me without all the drama.

La Fl. Give you what?

Har. What you have stolen from me.

Har. What you’ve taken from me.

La Fl. I have stolen nothing at all from you.

La Fl. I haven't taken anything from you.

Har. Are you telling the truth?

Har. Are you being truthful?

La Fl. Yes.

Har. Good-bye, then, and now you may go to the devil.

Har. Alright, goodbye, and now you can go to hell.

La Fl. (aside). That's a nice way of dismissing anyone.

La Fl. (aside). That's a pretty nice way to brush someone off.

Har. I leave it to your conscience, remember!

Har. I leave it to your conscience, just remember!

SCENE IV.——HARPAGON (alone.)

This rascally valet is a constant vexation to me; and I hate the very sight of the good-for-nothing cripple. Really, it is no small anxiety to keep by one a large sum of money; and happy is the man who has all his cash well invested, and who needs not keep by him more than he wants for his daily expenses. I am not a little puzzled to find in the whole of this house a safe hiding-place. Don't speak to me of your strong boxes, I will never trust to them. Why, they are just the very things thieves set upon!

This annoying valet is a constant frustration for me, and I can't stand the sight of that useless cripple. Honestly, it's quite stressful to keep a large sum of money on hand; lucky is the person who has all their cash wisely invested and only needs to keep what they need for their daily expenses. I'm pretty confused trying to find a safe hiding spot in this whole house. Don't even mention your safes to me; I'll never trust them. Those are exactly what thieves target!

SCENE V.——HARPAGON, ÉLISE and CLÉANTE are seen talking together at the back of the stage.

Har. (thinking himself alone.) Meanwhile, I hardly know whether I did right to bury in my garden the ten thousand crowns which were paid to me yesterday. Ten thousand crowns in gold is a sum sufficiently … (Aside, on perceiving Élise and Cléante whispering together) Good heavens! I have betrayed myself; my warmth has carried me away. I believe I spoke aloud while reasoning with myself. (To Cléante and Élise) What do you want?

Har. (thinking he’s alone.) Meanwhile, I’m not sure if I did the right thing by burying the ten thousand crowns I got paid yesterday in my garden. Ten thousand crowns in gold is quite a … (Aside, noticing Elyse and Cléante whispering together) Oh no! I’ve let something slip; I got carried away. I think I spoke out loud while reasoning with myself. (To Cléante and Élise) What do you need?

Cle. Nothing, father.

Nothing, Dad.

Har. Have you been here long?

Har. Have you been here for a while?

Eli. We have only just come.

Eli. We just got here.

Har. Did you hear…?

Hey, did you hear…?

Cle. What, father?

Cle. What is it, dad?

Har. There…!

Cle. What?

Har. What I was just now saying.

Har. What I was just saying.

Cle. No.

Har. You did. I know you did.

Eli. I beg your pardon, father, but we did not.

Eli. I’m sorry, Dad, but we didn’t.

Har. I see well enough that you overheard a few words. The fact is, I was only talking to myself about the trouble one has nowadays to raise any money; and I was saying that he is a fortunate man who has ten thousand crowns in his house.

Har. I can tell you heard a few words. The truth is, I was just talking to myself about how hard it is to raise any money these days; and I was saying that someone who has ten thousand crowns in their house is really lucky.

Cle. We were afraid of coming near you, for fear of intruding.

Cle. We were scared to come close to you, worried about intruding.

Har. I am very glad to tell you this, so that you may not misinterpret things, and imagine that I said that it was I who have ten thousand crowns.

Har. I'm really happy to share this with you, so you don't misunderstand and think I said it was me who has ten thousand crowns.

Cle. We do not wish to interfere in your affairs.

Cle. We don’t want to get involved in your business.

Har. Would that I had them, these ten thousand crowns!

Har. I wish I had those ten thousand crowns!

Cle. I should not think that …

Cle. I shouldn't think that …

Har. What a capital affair it would be for me.

Har. What a grand event it would be for me.

Cle. There are things …

Cle. There are things...

Har. I greatly need them.

Har. I really need them.

Cle. I fancy that …

Cle. I like that …

Har. It would suit me exceedingly well.

Har. It would work out perfectly for me.

Eli. You are …

Har. And I should not have to complain, as I do now, that the times are bad.

Har. And I shouldn’t have to complain, like I am now, that things are bad.

Cle. Hear me, father, you have no reason to complain; and everyone knows that you are well enough off.

Cle. Listen, Dad, you have no reason to complain; everyone knows you’re doing just fine.

Har. How? I am well enough off! Those who say it are liars. Nothing can be more false; and they are scoundrels who spread such reports.

Har. How? I'm doing just fine! Those who say otherwise are liars. Nothing could be more untrue; they are scoundrels for spreading such rumors.

Eli. Don't be angry.

Eli. Don’t be upset.

Har. It is strange that my own children betray me and become my enemies.

Har. It's weird that my own kids turn against me and become my enemies.

Cle. Is it being your enemy to say that you have wealth?

Cle. Is it wrong to call you my enemy just because you have money?

Har. Yes, it is. Such talk and your extravagant expenses will be the cause that some day thieves will come and cut my throat, in the belief that I am made of gold.

Har. Yeah, it is. Conversations like this and your flashy spending will eventually lead to thieves coming after me, thinking I'm made of gold.

Cle. What extravagant expenses do I indulge in?

Cle. What lavish spending am I engaging in?

Har. What! Is there anything more scandalous than this sumptuous attire with which you jaunt it about the town? I was remonstrating with your sister yesterday, but you are still worse. It cries vengeance to heaven; and were we to calculate all you are wearing, from head to foot, we should find enough for a good annuity. I have told you a hundred times, my son, that your manners displease me exceedingly; you affect the marquis terribly, and for you to be always dressed as you are, you must certainly rob me.

Har. What! Is there anything more outrageous than this fancy outfit you're flaunting around town? I was lecturing your sister yesterday, but you're even worse. It's utterly shameful; if we added up everything you're wearing, from head to toe, it would be enough to provide a comfortable living. I've told you a hundred times, my son, that your behavior really bothers me; you try so hard to impress the marquis, and for you to always dress like this, you must definitely be taking my money.

Cle. Rob you? And how?

Rob you? How's that possible?

Har. How should I know? Where else could you find money enough to clothe yourself as you do?

Har. How am I supposed to know? Where else would you find enough money to dress like you do?

Cle. I, father? I play; and as I am very lucky, I spend in clothes all the money I win.

Cle. Dad? I play, and since I’m really lucky, I spend all the money I win on clothes.

Har. It is very wrong. If you are lucky at play, you should profit by it, and place the money you win at decent interest, so that you may find it again some day. I should like to know, for instance, without mentioning the rest, what need there is for all these ribbons with which you are decked from head to foot, and if half a dozen tags are not sufficient to fasten your breeches. What necessity is there for anyone to spend money upon wigs, when we have hair of our own growth, which costs nothing. I will lay a wager that, in wigs and ribbons alone, there are certainly twenty pistoles spent, and twenty pistoles brings in at least eighteen livres six sous eight deniers per annum, at only eight per cent interest.

Har. That's really wrong. If you're lucky when you gamble, you should take the money you win and invest it wisely so you can have it again someday. I would really like to know, for example, without going into the rest, why you need all these ribbons that adorn you from head to toe, and if half a dozen tags aren’t enough to keep your pants up. Why does anyone spend money on wigs when we have our own hair that costs nothing? I would bet that just on wigs and ribbons alone, there are definitely twenty pistoles spent, and twenty pistoles can bring in at least eighteen livres six sous eight deniers per year, at just eight percent interest.

Cle. You are quite right.

Cle. You're absolutely right.

Har. Enough on this subject; let us talk of something else. (Aside, noticing Cléante and Élise, who make signs to one another) I believe they are making signs to one another to pick my pocket. (Aloud) What do you mean by those signs?

Har. That's enough about that; let's move on to something else. (Aside, noticing Cléante and Élise, who are signaling to each other) I think they're signaling to each other to steal from me. (Aloud) What are those signals all about?

Eli. We are hesitating as to who shall speak first, for we both have something to tell you.

Eli. We're unsure about who should go first, because we both have something to share with you.

Har. And I also have something to tell you both.

Har. I also have something to share with both of you.

Cle. We wanted to speak to you about marriage, father.

Cle. We wanted to talk to you about marriage, Dad.

Har. The very thing I wish to speak to you about.

Har. That's exactly what I want to talk to you about.

Eli. Ah! my father!

Eli. Ah! my dad!

Har. What is the meaning of that exclamation? Is it the word, daughter, or the thing itself that frightens you?

Har. What does that shout really mean? Is it the word, daughter, or the actual thing that scares you?

Cle. Marriage may frighten us both according to the way you take it; and our feelings may perhaps not coincide with your choice.

Cle. Marriage might scare both of us depending on how you see it; and our feelings might not match your decision.

Har. A little patience, if you please. You need not be alarmed. I know what is good for you both, and you will have no reason to complain of anything I intend to do. To begin at the beginning. (To Cléante) Do you know, tell me, a young person, called Marianne, who lives not far from here?

Har. Just a bit of patience, if you don't mind. There's no need to worry. I know what's best for both of you, and you won't have any reason to complain about my plans. Let’s start from the top. (To Cléante) Do you happen to know a young woman named Marianne who lives nearby?

Cle. Yes, father.

Sure, dad.

Har. And you?

Eli. I have heard her spoken of.

Eli. I’ve heard people talk about her.

Har. Well, my son, and how do you like the girl?

Har. So, my son, what do you think of the girl?

Cle. She is very charming.

Cle. She's very charming.

Har. Her face?

Her face?

Cle. Modest and intelligent.

Cle. Modest and smart.

Har. Her air and manner?

Her vibe and attitude?

Cle. Perfect, undoubtedly.

Cle. Perfect, no doubt.

Har. Do you not think that such a girl well deserves to be thought of?

Har. Don't you think a girl like that deserves to be remembered?

Cle. Yes, father.

Yes, dad.

Har. She would form a very desirable match?

Har. Would she make a very desirable match?

Cle. Very desirable.

Har. That there is every likelihood of her making a thrifty and careful wife.

Har. It's very likely she'll be a frugal and cautious wife.

Cle. Certainly.

Sure.

Har. And that a husband might live very happily with her?

Har. And that a husband could live very happily with her?

Cle. I have not the least doubt about it.

Cle. I'm completely sure about it.

Har. There is one little difficulty; I am afraid she has not the fortune we might reasonably expect.

Har. There’s just one small issue; I’m afraid she doesn’t have the wealth we would reasonably expect.

Cle. Oh, my father, riches are of little importance when one is sure of marrying a virtuous woman.

Cle. Oh, my father, money doesn’t matter much when you’re certain you’re going to marry a good woman.

Har. I beg your pardon. Only there is this to be said: that if we do not find as much money as we could wish, we may make it up in something else.

Har. I’m sorry. I just want to add that if we can’t find as much money as we’d like, we might be able to make up for it in other ways.

Cle. That follows as a matter of course.

Cle. That comes naturally.

Har. Well, I must say that I am very much pleased to find that you entirely agree with me, for her modest manner and her gentleness have won my heart; and I have made up my mind to marry her, provided I find she has some dowry.

Har. I'm really happy to hear that you completely agree with me, because her modest demeanor and kindness have captured my heart; I've decided to propose to her, as long as I discover that she has a dowry.

Cle. Eh!

Har. What now?

Har. What's next?

Cle. You are resolved, you say…?

Cle. You're determined, you say?

Har. To marry Marianne.

Cle. Who? you? you?

Cle. Who? You? You?

Har. Yes, I, I, I. What does all this mean?

Har. Yeah, I totally get it. What does all of this mean?

Cle. I feel a sudden dizziness, and I must withdraw for a little while.

Cle. I feel a sudden rush of dizziness, and I need to step away for a bit.

Har. It will be nothing. Go quickly into the kitchen and drink a large glass of cold water, it will soon set you all right again.

Har. It'll be fine. Just go to the kitchen and drink a big glass of cold water; it will help you feel better soon.

SCENE VI.——HARPAGON, ÉLISE.

Har. There goes one of your effeminate fops, with no more stamina than a chicken. That is what I have resolved for myself, my daughter. As to your brother, I have thought for him of a certain widow, of whom I heard this morning; and you I shall give to Mr. Anselme.

Har. There goes one of those delicate guys, with no more strength than a chicken. That’s what I’ve decided for myself, my daughter. As for your brother, I’ve thought about a certain widow I heard about this morning; and I will give you to Mr. Anselme.

Eli. To Mr. Anselme?

Har. Yes, a staid and prudent man, who is not above fifty, and of whose riches everybody speaks.

Har. Yes, a serious and careful man, who is not over fifty, and whose wealth everyone talks about.

Eli. (curtseying). I have no wish to marry, father, if you please.

Eli. (curtsying). I don't want to get married, Father, if that's alright with you.

Har. (imitating Élise). And I, my little girl, my darling, I wish you to marry, if you please.

Har. (imitating Élise). And I, my little girl, my darling, I want you to get married, if that's what you want.

Eli. (curtseying again). I beg your pardon, my father.

Eli. (curtsying again). I’m sorry, Dad.

Har. (again imitating Élise). I beg your pardon, my daughter.

Har. (once more mimicking Élise). I’m sorry, my daughter.

Eli. I am the very humble servant of Mr. Anselme, but (curtseying again), with your leave, I shall not marry him.

Eli. I am just a humble servant of Mr. Anselme, but (curtsying again), if you don't mind, I won’t be marrying him.

Har. I am your very humble servant, but (again imitating Élise) you will marry him this very evening.

Har. I am your very humble servant, but (again imitating Élise) you will marry him tonight.

Eli. This evening?

Eli. Tonight?

Har. This evening.

Har. Tonight.

Eli. (curtseying again). It cannot be done, father.

Eli. (bobbing again). It can't be done, Dad.

Har. (imitating Élise). It will be done, daughter.

Eli. No.

Har. Yes.

Har. Yeah.

Eli. No, I tell you.

Eli. No, I'm telling you.

Har. Yes, I tell you.

Yes, I'm telling you.

Eli. You will never force me to do such a thing

Eli. You will never make me do something like that.

Har. I will force you to it.

Har. I'll make you do it.

Eli. I had rather kill myself than marry such a man.

Eli. I would rather die than marry someone like him.

Har. You will not kill yourself, and you will marry him. But did you ever see such impudence? Did ever any one hear a daughter speak in such a fashion to her father?

Har. You’re not going to harm yourself, and you will marry him. But have you ever seen such boldness? Has anyone ever heard a daughter talk to her father like this?

Eli. But did ever anyone see a father marry his daughter after such a fashion?

Eli. But has anyone ever seen a father marry his daughter like that?

Har. It is a match against which nothing can be said, and I am perfectly sure that everybody will approve of my choice.

Har. It's a matchup that can't be criticized, and I'm completely confident that everyone will agree with my choice.

Eli. And I know that it will be approved of by no reasonable person.

Eli. And I know that no reasonable person will approve of it.

Har. (seeing Valère). There is Valère coming. Shall we make him judge in this affair?

Har. (seeing Valerian). Look, here comes Valère. Should we let him decide on this matter?

Eli. Willingly.

Har. You will abide by what he says?

Har. Are you going to follow what he says?

Eli. Yes, whatever he thinks right, I will do.

Eli. Yes, whatever he thinks is right, I will do.

Har. Agreed.

SCENE VII.——VALÈRE, HARPAGON, ÉLISE.

Har. Valère, we have chosen you to decide who is in the right, my daughter or I.

Har. Valère, we've chosen you to determine who's correct, my daughter or me.

Val. It is certainly you, Sir.

Val. It’s definitely you, Sir.

Har. But have you any idea of what we are talking about?

Har. But do you have any idea what we're talking about?

Val. No; but you could not be in the wrong; you are reason itself.

Val. No; but you couldn’t be mistaken; you embody reason itself.

Har. I want to give her to-night, for a husband, a man as rich as he is good; and the hussy tells me to my face that she scorns to take him. What do you say to that?

Har. I want to give her a wealthy man for a husband tonight, someone as good as he is rich; and the brat has the nerve to tell me to my face that she wouldn’t even consider him. What do you think of that?

Val. What I say to it?

Val. What do I say to it?

Har. Yes?

Har. What’s up?

Val. Eh! eh!

Val. Hey! hey!

Har. What?

Val. I say that I am, upon the whole, of your opinion, and that you cannot but be right; yet, perhaps, she is not altogether wrong; and …

Val. I think I mostly agree with you, and you have to be right; but maybe, she's not completely wrong; and …

Har. How so? Mr. Anselme is an excellent match; he is a nobleman, and a gentleman too; of simple habits, and extremely well off. He has no children left from his first marriage. Could she meet with anything more suitable?

Har. How so? Mr. Anselme is a great match; he’s a nobleman and a gentleman as well; he lives simply and is very well off. He has no children from his first marriage. Could she find anyone more suitable?

Val. It is true. But she might say that you are going rather fast, and that she ought to have at least a little time to consider whether her inclination could reconcile itself to …

Val. It's true. However, she might argue that you’re moving a bit too quickly, and that she needs at least a little time to think about whether her feelings can align with …

Har. It is an opportunity I must not allow to slip through my fingers. I find an advantage here which I should not find elsewhere, and he agrees to take her without dowry.

Har. I can't let this opportunity pass me by. There's a benefit here that I won't find anywhere else, and he has agreed to take her without a dowry.

Val. Without dowry?

Val. No dowry?

Har. Yes.

Yes.

Val. Ah! I have nothing more to say. A more convincing reason could not be found; and she must yield to that.

Val. Ah! I have nothing else to say. There couldn't be a more convincing reason; she has to give in to that.

Har. It is a considerable saving to me.

Har. It's a big saving for me.

Val. Undoubtedly; this admits of no contradiction. It is true that your daughter might represent to you that marriage is a more serious affair than people are apt to believe; that the happiness or misery of a whole life depends on it, and that an engagement which is to last till death ought not to be entered into without great consideration.

Val. No doubt about it; this is beyond argument. It’s true that your daughter might tell you that marriage is a more significant matter than many tend to think; that the happiness or sadness of an entire life hinges on it, and that a commitment meant to last until death shouldn't be taken lightly or without careful thought.

Har. Without dowry!

Har. No dowry!

Val. That must of course decide everything. There are certainly people who might tell you that on such occasions the wishes of a daughter are no doubt to be considered, and that this great disparity of age, of disposition, and of feelings might be the cause of many an unpleasant thing in a married life.

Val. That has to determine everything. There are definitely people who would argue that during such times, a daughter's wishes should be taken into account, and that this significant difference in age, personality, and emotions could lead to many uncomfortable situations in a married life.

Har. Without dowry!

Har. No dowry!

Val. Ah! it must be granted that there is no reply to that; who in the world could think otherwise? I do not mean to say but that there are many fathers who would set a much higher value on the happiness of their daughter than on the money they may have to give for their marriage; who would not like to sacrifice them to their own interests, and who would, above all things, try to see in a marriage that sweet conformity of tastes which is a sure pledge of honour, tranquillity and joy; and that …

Val. Ah! It's hard to argue against that; who could think differently? I'm not saying there aren't many fathers who prioritize their daughter's happiness over the money they have to spend on her wedding; who wouldn’t want to put their own interests aside, and who would, above all, seek a marriage that reflects a shared compatibility of interests, which is a guaranteed sign of respect, peace, and happiness; and that …

Har. Without dowry!

Har. No dowry!

Val. That is true; nothing more can be said. Without dowry. How can anyone resist such arguments?

Val. That's true; nothing more can be said. Without a dowry. How can anyone argue against that?

Har. (aside, looking towards the garden). Ah! I fancy I hear a dog barking. Is anyone after my money. (To Valère) Stop here, I'll come back directly.

Har. (aside, looking towards the garden) Ah! I think I hear a dog barking. Is someone after my money? (To Valer) Stay here, I'll be right back.

SCENE VIII.——ÉLISE, VALÈRE.

Eli. Surely, Valère, you are not in earnest when you speak to him in that manner?

Eli. Come on, Valère, you can’t be serious when you talk to him like that?

Val. I do it that I may not vex him, and the better to secure my ends. To resist him boldly would simply spoil everything. There are certain people who are only to be managed by indirect means, temperaments averse from all resistance, restive natures whom truth causes to rear, who always kick when we would lead them on the right road of reason, and who can only be led by a way opposed to that by which you wish them to go. Pretend to comply with his wishes; you are much more likely to succeed in the end, and …

Val. I do this so I don’t upset him and to better achieve my goals. Standing up to him directly would only ruin everything. There are certain people who can only be handled in indirect ways, those who resist any form of opposition, stubborn individuals who react negatively to the truth, who always push back when we try to guide them down the path of reason, and who can only be led in a direction opposite to where you want them to go. Act like you agree with his wishes; you’re much more likely to be successful in the end, and …

Eli. But this marriage, Valère?

Val. We will find some pretext for breaking it off.

Val. We'll come up with some excuse to end it.

Eli. But what pretext can we find if it is to be concluded to-night?

Eli. But what excuse can we come up with if it has to be wrapped up tonight?

Val. You must ask to have it delayed, and must feign some illness or other.

Val. You need to request a delay and pretend to be sick or something like that.

Eli. But he will soon discover the truth if they call in the doctor.

Eli. But he will soon find out the truth if they bring in the doctor.

Val. Not a bit of it. Do you imagine that a doctor understands what he is about? Nonsense! Don't be afraid. Believe me, you may complain of any disease you please, the doctor will be at no loss to explain to you from what it proceeds.

Val. Not at all. Do you really think a doctor knows what they’re doing? Ridiculous! Don’t worry. Trust me, you can complain about any illness you want, and the doctor will easily find a way to explain where it comes from.

SCENE IX——HARPAGON, ÉLISE, VALÈRE.

Har. (alone, at the farther end of the stage). It is nothing, thank heaven!

Har. (alone, at the far end of the stage). It’s nothing, thank goodness!

Val. (not seeing Harpagon). In short, flight is the last resource we have left us to avoid all this; and if your love, dear Élise, is as strong as … (Seeing Harpagon) Yes, a daughter is bound to obey her father. She has no right to inquire what a husband offered to her is like, and when the most important question, "without dowry," presents itself, she should accept anybody that is given her.

Val. (not seeing Harpagon). In short, running away is our only option to avoid all of this; and if your love, dear Élise, is as strong as … (Seeing Harpagon) Yes, a daughter must obey her father. She has no right to ask what type of man her husband will be, and when the crucial question of "without a dowry" comes up, she should accept anyone who is offered to her.

Har. Good; that was beautifully said!

Har. Nice; that was beautifully put!

Val. I beg your pardon, Sir, if I carry it a little too far, and take upon myself to speak to her as I do.

Val. I’m sorry, Sir, if I’m overstepping and taking the liberty to speak to her the way I do.

Har. Why, I am delighted, and I wish you to have her entirely under your control. (To Élise) Yes, you may run away as much as you like. I give him all the authority over you that heaven has given me, and I will have you do all that he tells you.

Har. I’m really happy about this, and I want you to be completely under his control. (To Élise) Yes, you can run away as much as you want. I’m giving him all the authority over you that I have, and you will do everything he tells you.

Val. After that, resist all my expostulations, if you can.

Val. After that, try to ignore all my protests, if you can.

SCENE X.——HARPAGON, VALÈRE.

Val. I will follow her, Sir, if you will allow me, and will continue the lecture I was giving her.

Val. I’ll follow her, Sir, if you let me, and I’ll keep going with the lecture I was giving her.

Har. Yes, do so; you will oblige me greatly.

Har. Yes, please do; you will really help me out.

Val. She ought to be kept in with a tight hand.

Val. She needs to be managed carefully.

Har. Quite true, you must …

Har. That's correct, you have to …

Val. Do not be afraid; I believe I shall end by convincing her.

Val. Don't be afraid; I think I'll eventually convince her.

Har. Do so, do so. I am going to take a short stroll in the town, and I will come back again presently.

Har. Go ahead and do that. I'm going to take a quick walk around town, and I'll be back shortly.

Val. (going towards the door through which Élise left, and speaking as if it were to her). Yes, money is more precious than anything else in the world, and you should thank heaven that you have so worthy a man for a father. He knows what life is. When a man offers to marry a girl without a dowry, we ought to look no farther. Everything is comprised in that, and "without dowry" compensates for want of beauty, youth, birth, honour, wisdom, and probity.

Val. (walking toward the door that Élise just exited, and speaking as if it were to her). Yes, money is more valuable than anything else in the world, and you should be grateful that you have such a respectable man for a father. He understands what life is about. When a man proposes to marry a woman without a dowry, we shouldn’t look any further. That is everything, and "without a dowry" makes up for any lack of beauty, youth, lineage, honor, wisdom, and integrity.

Har. Ah! the honest fellow! he speaks like an oracle. Happy is he who can secure such a servant!

Har. Ah! the genuine guy! He talks like a wise sage. Lucky is the person who can have such a servant!

ACT II.

SCENE I.——CLÉANTE, LA FLÈCHE.

Cle. How now, you rascal! where have you been hiding? Did I not give you orders to…?

Cle. Hey, you troublemaker! Where have you been hiding? Didn’t I tell you to…?

La Fl. Yes, Sir, and I came here resolved to wait for you without stirring, but your father, that most ungracious of men, drove me into the street in spite of myself, and I well nigh got a good drubbing into the bargain.

La Fl. Yes, Sir, I came here determined to wait for you without moving, but your father, that very unpleasant man, forced me out into the street against my will, and I almost got beaten up for it.

Cle. How is our affair progressing? Things are worse than ever for us, and since I left you, I have discovered that my own father is my rival.

Cle. How is our relationship going? Things are worse than ever for us, and since I left you, I’ve found out that my own father is my enemy.

La Fl. Your father in love?

La Fl. Your dad in love?

Cle. It seems so; and I found it very difficult to hide from him what I felt at such a discovery.

Cle. It seems like it; and I found it really hard to hide from him how I felt about making such a discovery.

La Fl. He meddling with love! What the deuce is he thinking of? Does he mean to set everybody at defiance? And is love made for people of his build?

La Fl. He's messing around with love! What on earth is he thinking? Does he really want to challenge everyone? And is love even meant for someone like him?

Cle. It is to punish me for my sins that this passion has entered his head.

Cle. This passion has taken hold of him to punish me for my sins.

La Fl. But why do you hide your love from him?

La Fl. But why are you hiding your love from him?

Cle. That he may not suspect anything, and to make it more easy for me to fall back, if need be, upon some device to prevent this marriage. What answer did you receive?

Cle. So he won’t suspect anything, and to make it easier for me to retreat, if necessary, to some trick to stop this marriage. What response did you get?

La Fl. Indeed, Sir, those who borrow are much to be pitied, and we must put up with strange things when, like you, we are forced to pass through the hands of the usurers.

La Fl. Absolutely, Sir, those who borrow deserve a lot of sympathy, and we have to endure odd situations when, like you, we find ourselves in the clutches of loan sharks.

Cle. Then the affair won't come off?

Cle. So, the deal isn’t happening?

La Fl. Excuse me; Mr. Simon, the broker who was recommended to us, is a very active and zealous fellow, and says he has left no stone unturned to help you. He assures me that your looks alone have won his heart.

La Fl. Excuse me; Mr. Simon, the broker we were referred to, is very proactive and dedicated, and he claims he has done everything possible to assist you. He guarantees me that just your appearance has captured his heart.

Cle. Shall I have the fifteen thousand francs which I want?

Cle. Will I get the fifteen thousand francs I need?

La Fl. Yes, but under certain trifling conditions, which you must accept if you wish the bargain to be concluded.

La Fl. Yes, but there are a few minor conditions you have to agree to if you want to finalize the deal.

Cle. Did you speak to the man who is to lend the money?

Cle. Did you talk to the guy who's going to lend the money?

La Fl. Oh! dear no. Things are not done in that way. He is still more anxious than you to remain unknown. These things are greater mysteries than you think. His name is not by any means to be divulged, and he is to be introduced to you to-day at a house provided by him, so that he may hear from yourself all about your position and your family; and I have not the least doubt that the mere name of your father will be sufficient to accomplish what you wish.

La Fl. Oh! definitely not. That's not how things work. He's even more eager than you are to stay incognito. These matters are more complicated than you realize. His name absolutely must not be revealed, and he will be meeting you today at a place he arranged, so he can hear directly from you about your situation and your family. I have no doubt that just mentioning your father's name will be enough to achieve what you're hoping for.

Cle. Particularly as my mother is dead, and they cannot deprive me of what I inherit from her.

Cle. Especially since my mother has passed away, and they can't take away what I inherit from her.

La Fl. Well, here are some of the conditions which he has himself dictated to our go-between for you to take cognisance of, before anything is begun.

La Fl. Well, here are some of the conditions that he has personally laid out for our intermediary for you to be aware of before we start anything.

"Supposing that the lender is satisfied with all his securities, and that the borrower is of age and of a family whose property is ample, solid, secure, and free from all incumbrances, there shall be drawn up a good and correct bond before as honest a notary as it is possible to find, and who for this purpose shall be chosen by the lender, because he is the more concerned of the two that the bond should be rightly executed."

"Assuming that the lender is happy with all his collateral, and that the borrower is of legal age and comes from a family with abundant, stable, secure property that’s free from any debts, a well-prepared and accurate bond should be drawn up by a trustworthy notary, selected by the lender for this purpose, since he has a greater interest in ensuring that the bond is properly executed."

Cle. There is nothing to say against that.

Cle. There’s nothing to argue about that.

LA FA. "The lender, not to burden his conscience with the least scruple, does not wish to lend his money at more than five and a half per cent."

LA FA. "The lender, wanting to ease his conscience without any concerns, prefers not to lend his money at more than five and a half percent."

Cle. Five and a half per cent? By Jove, that's honest! We have nothing to complain of.

Cle. Five and a half percent? Wow, that's fair! We have no complaints.

La Fl. That's true.

"But as the said lender has not in hand the sum required, and as, in order to oblige the borrower, he is himself obliged to borrow from another at the rate of twenty per cent., it is but right that the said first borrower shall pay this interest, without detriment to the rest; since it is only to oblige him that the said lender is himself forced to borrow."

"But since the lender doesn't have the needed amount, and to help the borrower, he has to borrow from someone else at a rate of twenty percent, it’s only fair that the first borrower pays this interest, without affecting the others; after all, the lender is only borrowing to assist him."

Cle. The deuce! What a Jew! what a Turk we have here! That is more than twenty-five per cent.

Cle. Wow! What a character! What a person we have here! That's more than twenty-five percent.

La Fl. That's true; and it is the remark I made. It is for you to consider the matter before you act.

La Fl. That's right; and it's the point I made. It's up to you to think things over before you take action.

Cle. How can I consider? I want the money, and I must therefore accept everything.

Cle. How can I think about this? I want the money, so I have to accept everything.

La Fl. That is exactly what I answered.

La Fl. That's exactly what I said.

Cle. Is there anything else?

Cle. Anything else?

La Fl. Only a small item.

La Fl. Just a minor detail.

"Of the fifteen thousand francs which are demanded, the lender will only be able to count down twelve thousand in hard cash; instead of the remaining three thousand, the borrower will have to take the chattels, clothing, and jewels, contained in the following catalogue, and which the said lender has put in all good faith at the lowest possible figure."

"Out of the fifteen thousand francs that are required, the lender will only be able to offer twelve thousand in cash; for the remaining three thousand, the borrower will need to accept the items, clothing, and jewelry listed in the following catalog, which the lender has honestly valued at the lowest possible price."

Cle. What is the meaning of all that?

Cle. What does all that mean?

La Fl. I'll go through the catalogue:—

La Fl. I'll check out the catalog:—

"Firstly:—A fourpost bedstead, with hangings of Hungary lace very elegantly trimmed with olive-coloured cloth, and six chairs and a counterpane to match; the whole in very good condition, and lined with soft red and blue shot-silk. Item:—the tester of good pale pink Aumale serge, with the small and the large fringes of silk."

"First:—A four-poster bed frame, elegantly trimmed with olive-colored fabric and adorned with Hungary lace, along with six matching chairs and a bedspread; everything is in great condition and lined with soft red and blue silk. Item:—the canopy made of light pink Aumale serge, featuring both small and large silk fringes."

Cle. What does he want me to do with all this?

Cle. What does he expect me to do with all this?

La Fl. Wait.

"Item:—Tapestry hangings representing the loves of Gombaud and Macée.¹ Item:—A large walnut table with twelve columns or turned legs, which draws out at both ends, and is provided beneath with six stools."

"Item:—Tapestry hangings depicting the romance of Gombaud and Macée.¹ Item:—A large walnut table with twelve turned legs, extendable at both ends, and comes with six stools underneath."

Cle. Hang it all! What am I to do with all this?

Cle. Ugh! What am I supposed to do with all this?

La Fl. Have patience.

La Fl. Be patient.

"Item:—Three large matchlocks inlaid with mother-of-pearl, with rests to correspond. Item:—A brick furnace with two retorts and three receivers, very useful to those who have any taste for distilling."

"Item:—Three large matchlocks decorated with mother-of-pearl, with matching rests. Item:—A brick furnace with two retorts and three receivers, very useful for anyone interested in distilling."

Cle. You will drive me crazy.

Cle. You're going to drive me crazy.

La Fl. Gently!

La Fl. Easy now!

"Item:—A Bologna lute with all its strings, or nearly all. Item:—A pigeon-hole table and a draught-board, and a game of mother goose, restored from the Greeks, most useful to pass the time when one has nothing to do. Item:—A lizard's skin, three feet and a half in length, stuffed with hay, a pleasing curiosity to hang on the ceiling of a room. The whole of the above-mentioned articles are really worth more than four thousand five hundred francs, and are reduced to the value of a thousand crowns through the considerateness of the lender."

"Item:—A Bologna lute with almost all its strings. Item:—A foldable table and a checkers board, along with a game of Mother Goose, revived from the Greeks, very handy for passing the time when there's nothing going on. Item:—A lizard's skin, three and a half feet long, stuffed with hay, a nice curiosity to hang on the ceiling of a room. All of these items are truly worth more than four thousand five hundred francs, but they've been valued at a thousand crowns thanks to the generosity of the lender."

Cle. Let the plague choke him with his considerateness, the wretch, the cut-throat that he is! Did ever anyone hear of such usury? Is he not satisfied with the outrageous interest he asks that he must force me to take, instead of the three thousand francs, all the old rubbish which he picks up. I shan't get two hundred crowns for all that, and yet I must bring myself to yield to all his wishes; for he is in a position to force me to accept everything, and he has me, the villain, with a knife at my throat.

Cle. Let the plague take him for his thoughtfulness, the miserable, cold-hearted person that he is! Has anyone ever heard of such exploitation? Isn’t he already satisfied with the outrageous interest he demands that he has to push me into accepting, instead of the three thousand francs, all the junk he collects? I won’t even get two hundred crowns for all that, and still, I have to submit to all his demands; because he can force me to take anything, and he has me, the scoundrel, with a knife at my throat.

La Fl. I see you, Sir, if you'll forgive my saying so, on the high-road followed by Panurge² to ruin himself—taking money in advance, buying dear, selling cheap, and cutting your corn while it is still grass.

La Fl. I see you, Sir, if you don’t mind me saying so, on the path to disaster, just like Panurge² —taking money upfront, paying too much, selling for less, and harvesting your crops while they’re still unripe.

Cle. What would you have me do? It is to this that young men are reduced by the accursed avarice of their fathers; and people are astonished after that, that sons long for their death.

Cle. What do you want me to do? This is what young men are brought to by their fathers' cursed greed; and then people are shocked when sons wish for their fathers' death.

La Fl. No one can deny that yours would excite against his meanness the most quiet of men. I have not, thank God, any inclination gallows- ward, and among my colleagues whom I see dabbling in various doubtful affairs, I know well enough how to keep myself out of hot water, and how to keep clear of all those things which savour ever so little of the ladder; but to tell you the truth, he almost gives me, by his ways of going on, the desire of robbing him, and I should think that in doing so I was doing a meritorious action.

La Fl. No one can argue that your presence would provoke even the most reserved person against his meanness. Thankfully, I have no desire to end up in trouble, and among my colleagues who are involved in various questionable activities, I know how to avoid getting into hot water and steer clear of anything that even slightly hints at mischief. But honestly, his behavior almost makes me want to rob him, and I would feel justified in doing so.

Cle. Give me that memorandum that I may have another look at it.

Cle. Please give me that memo so I can take another look at it.

SCENE II.——HARPAGON, MR. SIMON (CLÉANTE and LA FLÈCHE at the back of the stage).

Sim. Yes, Sir; it is a young man who is greatly in want of money; his affairs force him to find some at any cost, and he will submit to all your conditions.

Sim. Yes, Sir; it’s a young man who really needs money; his situation pushes him to find some at any cost, and he’s willing to meet all your conditions.

Har. But are you sure, Mr. Simon, that there is no risk to run in this case? and do you know the name, the property, and the family of him for whom you speak?

Har. But are you really sure, Mr. Simon, that there's no risk involved in this situation? And do you know the name, the background, and the family of the person you’re talking about?

Sim. No; I cannot tell you anything for certain, as it was by mere chance that I was made acquainted with him; but he will tell you everything himself, and his servant has assured me that you will be quite satisfied when you know who he is. All I can tell you is that his family is said to be very wealthy, that he has already lost his mother, and that he will pledge you his word, if you insist upon it, that his father will die before eight months are passed.

Sim. No; I can’t say anything for sure since it was just a coincidence that I met him. But he’ll tell you everything himself, and his servant has promised me that you’ll be completely satisfied once you find out who he is. All I can say is that his family is rumored to be very rich, that he has already lost his mother, and that he’ll assure you, if you insist, that his father will pass away within eight months.

Har. That is something. Charity, Mr. Simon, demands of us to gratify people whenever we have it in our power.

Har. That's something. Charity, Mr. Simon, requires us to help others whenever we can.

Sim. Evidently.

Sim. Clearly.

La Fl. (aside to Cléante, on recognising Mr. Simon). What does this mean? Mr. Simon talking with your father!

La Fl. (aside to Cléante, on seeing Mr. Simon). What does this mean? Mr. Simon is talking to your dad!

Cle. (aside to La Flèche). Has he been told who I am, and would you be capable of betraying me?

Cle. (aside to The Arrow). Has he been informed about my identity, and would you be able to betray me?

Sim. (to Cléante and La Flèche). Ah! you are in good time! But who told you to come here? (To Harpagon) It was certainly not I who told them your name and address; but I am of opinion that there is no great harm done; they are people who can be trusted, and you can come to some understanding together.

Sim. (to Cléante and The Arrow). Ah! You made it just in time! But who told you to come here? (To Harpagon) I definitely didn't give them your name and address; but I think it’s not a big deal. They’re trustworthy people, and you can sort things out together.

Har. What!

Sim. (showing Cléante). This is the gentleman who wants to borrow the fifteen thousand francs of which I have spoken to you.

Sim. (showing Cléante). This is the guy who wants to borrow the fifteen thousand francs I mentioned to you.

Har. What! miscreant! is it you who abandon yourself to such excesses?

Har. What! Troublemaker! Is it really you who give in to such extremes?

Cle. What! father! is it you who stoop to such shameful deeds?

Cle. What! Dad! Is it really you who sinks to such disgraceful actions?

(M. Simon runs away, and La Flèche hides himself.)

(M. Simon takes off, and The Arrow finds a place to hide.)

SCENE III.——HARPAGON, CLÉANTE.

Har. It is you who are ruining yourself by loans so greatly to be condemned!

Har. You're the one destroying yourself by taking out loans that are so shameful!

Cle. So it is you who seek to enrich yourself by such criminal usury!

Cle. So it's you who want to profit from such illegal lending practices!

Har. And you dare, after that, to show yourself before me?

Har. And you actually think you can face me after that?

Cle. And you dare, after that, to show yourself to the world?

Cle. And you actually have the nerve to face the world after that?

Har. Are you not ashamed, tell me, to descend to these wild excesses, to rush headlong into frightful expenses, and disgracefully to dissipate the wealth which your parents have amassed with so much toil.

Har. Aren't you ashamed to sink into these extreme behaviors, to dive into huge expenses without thinking, and to waste the wealth that your parents worked so hard to build?

Cle. Are you not ashamed of dishonouring your station by such dealings, of sacrificing honour and reputation to the insatiable desire of heaping crown upon crown, and of outdoing the most infamous devices that have ever been invented by the most notorious usurers?

Cle. Aren't you embarrassed to disgrace your position with such actions, sacrificing your honor and reputation to the endless greed of piling up wealth, and trying to surpass the most notorious schemes ever created by the most infamous loan sharks?

Har. Get out of my sight, you reprobate; get out of my sight!

Har. Get lost, you scoundrel; get out of my sight!

Cle. Who is the more criminal in your opinion: he who buys the money of which he stands in need, or he who obtains, by unfair means, money for which he has no use?

Cle. In your opinion, who is more of a criminal: the person who buys the money they need, or the one who gets money they don’t need through dishonest means?

Har. Begone, I say, and do not provoke me to anger. (Alone) After all, I am not very much vexed at this adventure; it will be a lesson to me to keep a better watch over all his doings.

Har. Go away, I say, and don't make me angry. (Alone) Honestly, I'm not really upset about this situation; it will teach me to pay closer attention to everything he does.

SCENE IV.——FROSINE, HARPAGON.

Fro. Sir.

Sir.

Har. Wait a moment, I will come back and speak to you. (Aside) I had better go and see a little after my money.

Har. Hold on, I'll be right back to talk to you. (Aside) I should probably check on my money for a bit.

SCENE V.——LA FLÈCHE, FROSINE.

La Fl. (without seeing Frosine). The adventure is most comical. Hidden somewhere he must have a large store of goods of all kinds, for the list did not contain one single article which either of us recognised.

La Fl. (without seeing Frosine). The situation is quite funny. He must have a huge stash of all sorts of items hidden somewhere, because the list didn’t include a single item that either of us recognized.

Fro. Hallo! is it you, my poor La Flèche? How is it we meet here?

Fro. Hello! Is that you, my poor La Flèche? How did we end up meeting here?

La Fl. Ah! ah! it is you, Frosine; and what have you come to do here?

La Fl. Ah! ah! it's you, Frosine; what are you doing here?

Fro. What have I come to do? Why! what I do everywhere else, busy myself about other people's affairs, make myself useful to the community in general, and profit as much as I possibly can by the small talent I possess. Must we not live by our wits in this world? and what other resources have people like me but intrigue and cunning?

Fro. What have I come to do? Well! I’m doing what I do everywhere else—keeping busy with other people's business, trying to be helpful to the community in general, and making the most out of the little skills I have. Don't we have to rely on our wits in this world? And what other options do people like me have besides being clever and resourceful?

La Fl. Have you, then, any business with the master of this house?

La Fl. Have you come to see the master of this house?

Fro. Yes. I am transacting for him a certain small matter for which he is pretty sure to give me a reward.

Fro. Yes. I'm handling a small task for him that he's likely to reward me for.

La Fl. He give you a reward! Ah! ah! Upon my word, you will be 'cute if you ever get one, and I warn you that ready money is very scarce hereabouts.

La Fl. He'll give you a reward! Ah! ah! Honestly, you'll be really clever if you ever get one, and I should let you know that actual cash is really hard to come by around here.

Fro. That may be, but there are certain services which wonderfully touch our feelings.

Fro. That might be true, but there are certain services that profoundly move us.

La Fl. Your humble servant; but as yet you don't know Harpagon. Harpagon is the human being of all human beings the least humane, the mortal of all mortals the hardest and closest. There is no service great enough to induce him to open his purse. If, indeed, you want praise, esteem, kindness, and friendship, you are welcome to any amount; but money, that's a different affair. There is nothing more dry, more barren, than his favour and his good grace, and "give" is a word for which he has such a strong dislike that he never says I give, but I lend, you a good morning.

La Fl. I'm your humble servant; but you still don’t know Harpagon. Harpagon is the most unkind person you could ever meet, the least empathetic of all people. There's no favor big enough to make him open his wallet. If you want compliments, respect, kindness, and friendship, you can have as much as you like; but money? That's a whole different story. His favor and goodwill are drier and more barren than anything you can imagine, and the word "give" is something he hates so much that he never says "I give," but instead says "I lend, you a good morning."

Fro. That's all very well; but I know the art of fleecing men. I have a secret of touching their affections by flattering their hearts, and of finding out their weak points.

Fro. That’s all great; but I know how to take advantage of men. I have a knack for tugging at their emotions with flattery and for figuring out their vulnerabilities.

La Fl. All useless here. I defy you to soften, as far as money is concerned, the man we are speaking of. He is a Turk on that point, of a Turkishness to drive anyone to despair, and we might starve in his presence and never a peg would he stir. In short, he loves money better than reputation, honour, and virtue, and the mere sight of anyone making demands upon his purse sends him into convulsions; it is like striking him in a vital place, it is piercing him to the heart, it is like tearing out his very bowels! And if … But here he comes again; I leave you.

La Fl. Everything here is pointless. I challenge you to change the mind of the man we're talking about when it comes to money. He’s as stubborn as a Turk about that, with a strictness that could drive anyone crazy, and we could be starving right in front of him and he wouldn’t lift a finger. In short, he values money more than reputation, honor, and virtue, and just the sight of someone asking for his cash sends him into a frenzy; it’s like hitting him in a sensitive spot, piercing him through the heart, tearing out his very insides! And if ... But here he comes again; I’ll have to go.

SCENE VI.——HARPAGON, FROSINE.

Har. (aside). All is as it should be. (To Frosine) Well, what is it, Frosine?

Har. (aside). Everything is as it should be. (To Frosine) So, what’s going on, Frosine?

Fro. Bless me, how well you look! You are the very picture of health.

Fro. Wow, you look amazing! You really look healthy.

Har. Who? I?

Har. Who? Me?

Fro. Never have I seen you looking more rosy, more hearty.

Fro. I've never seen you looking more vibrant and full of life.

Har. Are you in earnest?

Har. Are you serious?

Fro. Why! you have never been so young in your life; and I know many a man of twenty-five who looks much older than you do.

Fro. Wow! You've never been this young in your life; I know plenty of guys who are twenty-five and look way older than you.

Har. And yet, Frosine, I have passed threescore.

Har. And yet, Frosine, I have turned sixty.

Fro. Threescore! Well, and what then? You don't mean to make a trouble of that, do you? It's the very flower of manhood, the threshold of the prime of life.

Fro. Sixty! So what? You’re not really going to make a big deal out of that, are you? It’s the peak of manhood, the doorway to the prime of life.

Har. True; but twenty years less would do me no harm, I think.

Har. That's true; but I think taking away twenty years wouldn’t hurt me at all.

Fro. Nonsense! You've no need of that, and you are of a build to last out a hundred.

Fro. Nonsense! You don’t need that, and you are built to last a hundred years.

Har. Do you really think so?

Har. Do you actually believe that?

Fro. Decidedly. You have all the appearance of it. Hold yourself up a little. Ah! what a sign of long life is that line there straight between your two eyes!

Fro. Definitely. You look just like it. Stand up a bit. Ah! that straight line between your eyebrows is such a sign of longevity!

Har. You know all about that, do you?

Har. You know all about that, right?

Fro. I should think I do. Show me your hand.³ Dear me, what a line of life there is there!

Fro. I think I do. Show me your hand.³ Wow, what a long line of life there is!

Har. Where?

Har. Where at?

Fro. Don't you see how far this line goes?

Fro. Can't you see how far this line stretches?

Har. Well, and what does it mean?

Har. So, what does that mean?

Fro. What does it mean? There … I said a hundred years; but no, it is one hundred and twenty I ought to have said.

Fro. What does it mean? There … I said a hundred years; but no, it is one hundred and twenty I should have said.

Har. Is it possible?

Har. Is it doable?

Fro. I tell you they will have to kill you, and you will bury your children and your children's children.

Fro. I’m telling you, they will have to kill you, and you will lay to rest your children and your grandchildren.

Har. So much the better! And what news of our affair?

Har. That's great! And what’s the latest on our situation?

Fro. Is there any need to ask? Did ever anyone see me begin anything and not succeed in it? I have, especially for matchmaking, the most wonderful talent. There are no two persons in the world I could not couple together; and I believe that, if I took it into my head, I could make the Grand Turk marry the Republic of Venice.⁴ But we had, to be sure, no such difficult thing to achieve in this matter. As I know the ladies very well, I told them every particular about you; and I acquainted the mother with your intentions towards Marianne since you saw her pass in the street and enjoy the fresh air out of her window.

Fro. Is there even a question? Has anyone ever seen me start something and not finish it successfully? I have an incredible talent for matchmaking. There isn't a pair of people in the world I couldn't bring together; and I honestly believe that if I set my mind to it, I could get the Grand Turk to marry the Republic of Venice.⁴ But thankfully, we didn’t have to tackle anything that challenging in this case. Since I know the ladies very well, I shared every detail about you with them; and I informed the mother about your interest in Marianne ever since you saw her walking by and enjoying the fresh air from her window.

Har. What did she answer…?

What did she say?

Fro. She received your proposal with great joy; and when I told her that you wished very much that her daughter should come to-night to assist at the marriage contract which is to be signed for your own daughter, she assented at once, and entrusted her to me for the purpose.

Fro. She was really happy to get your proposal; and when I mentioned that you really wanted her daughter to come tonight to help with the marriage contract being signed for your own daughter, she agreed right away and left her in my care for that.

Har. You see, Frosine, I am obliged to give some supper to Mr. Anselme, and I should like her to have a share in the feast.

Har. You see, Frosine, I have to prepare some dinner for Mr. Anselme, and I’d like her to be part of the meal.

Fro. You are quite right. She is to come after dinner to pay a visit to your daughter; then she means to go from here to the fair, and return to your house just in time for supper.

Fro. You're absolutely right. She's planning to come by after dinner to visit your daughter; then she intends to head to the fair from here and come back to your house just in time for supper.

Har. That will do very well; they shall go together in my carriage, which I will lend them.

Har. That works perfectly; they'll ride together in my carriage, which I'll lend to them.

Fro. That will suit her perfectly.

Fro. That will be just right for her.

Har. But I say, Frosine, have you spoken to the mother about the dowry she can give her daughter? Did you make her understand that under such circumstances she ought to do her utmost and to make a great sacrifice? For, after all, one does not marry a girl without her bringing something with her.

Har. But I ask you, Frosine, have you talked to the mother about the dowry she can offer her daughter? Did you explain to her that given the situation, she should do her best and make a significant sacrifice? After all, you don’t marry a girl without her bringing something to the table.

Fro. How something! She is a girl who will bring you a clear twelve thousand francs a year?

Fro. What a surprise! She’s a girl who will earn you a nice twelve thousand francs a year?

Har. Twelve thousand francs a year?

Fro. Yes! To begin with, she has been nursed and brought up with the strictest notions of frugality. She is a girl accustomed to live upon salad, milk, cheese, and apples, and who consequently will require neither a well served up table, nor any rich broth, nor your everlasting peeled barley; none, in short, of all those delicacies that another woman would want. This is no small matter, and may well amount to three thousand francs yearly. Besides this, she only cares for simplicity and neatness; she will have none of those splendid dresses and rich jewels, none of that sumptuous furniture in which girls like her indulge so extravagantly; and this item is worth more than four thousand francs per annum. Lastly, she has the deepest aversion to gambling; and this is not very common nowadays among women. Why, I know of one in our neighbourhood who lost at least twenty thousand francs this year. But let us reckon only a fourth of that sum. Five thousand francs a year at play and four thousand in clothes and jewels make nine thousand; and three thousand francs which we count for food, does it not make your twelve thousand francs?

Fro. Yes! First of all, she has been raised with a strong emphasis on frugality. She’s a girl used to living on salad, milk, cheese, and apples, so she won't need a fancy table, rich soups, or your endless peeled barley; in short, none of the luxuries that another woman might want. This is quite significant, and could add up to three thousand francs a year. On top of that, she values simplicity and cleanliness; she won’t want any of those extravagant dresses or expensive jewels, none of that lavish furniture that girls like her tend to splurge on; and this aspect alone is worth over four thousand francs annually. Lastly, she has a strong dislike for gambling, which isn’t very common among women these days. I know one in our neighborhood who lost at least twenty thousand francs this year. But let’s only consider a quarter of that amount. Five thousand francs a year for gambling and four thousand for clothes and jewelry totals nine thousand; add the three thousand francs we consider for food, and doesn’t that come to your twelve thousand francs?

Har. Yes, that's not bad; but, after all, that calculation has nothing real in it.

Har. Yeah, that's not too bad; but really, that calculation has no real substance to it.

Fro. Excuse me; is it nothing real to bring you in marriage a great sobriety, to inherit a great love for simplicity in dress, and the acquired property of a great hatred for gambling?

Fro. Excuse me; isn't it enough that I come to you with a strong sense of responsibility, a deep appreciation for simple clothing, and a strong dislike for gambling?

Har. It is a farce to pretend to make up a dowry with all the expenses she will not run into. I could not give a receipt for what I do not receive; and I must decidedly get something.

Har. It's ridiculous to pretend to put together a dowry with all the costs she won't actually incur. I can't provide a receipt for what I don't receive; I definitely need to get something.

Fro. Bless me! you will get enough; and they have spoken to me of a certain country where they have some property, of which you will be master.

Fro. Wow! You’ll have plenty, and they've told me about a certain place where they own some land, and you'll be the one in charge of it.

Har. We shall have to see to that. But, Frosine, there is one more thing that makes me uneasy. The girl is young, you know; and young people generally like those who are young like themselves, and only care for the society of the young. I am afraid that a man of my age may not exactly suit her taste, and that this may occasion in my family certain complications that would in nowise be pleasant to me.

Har. We need to address that. But, Frosine, there's one more thing that worries me. The girl is young, you know; and young people typically prefer the company of others their age. I'm concerned that a man my age might not appeal to her, and that could create some complications in my family that I'd rather avoid.

Fro. Oh, how badly you judge her! This is one more peculiarity of which I had to speak to you. She has the greatest detestation to all young men, and only likes old people.

Fro. Oh, how harshly you judge her! This is another thing I needed to mention to you. She has a strong dislike for all young men and only likes older people.

Har. Does she?

Does she?

Fro. I should like you to hear her talk on that subject; she cannot bear at all the sight of a young man, and nothing delights her more than to see a fine old man with a venerable beard. The oldest are to her the most charming, and I warn you beforehand not to go and make yourself any younger than you really are. She wishes for one sixty years old at least; and it is not more than six months ago that on the very eve of being married she suddenly broke off the match on learning that her lover was only fifty-six years of age, and did not put on spectacles to sign the contract.

Fro. I’d love for you to hear her talk about this. She can't stand the sight of a young man, and nothing makes her happier than seeing a distinguished old man with a respectable beard. To her, the oldest are the most attractive, and I’m warning you in advance not to try to appear any younger than you really are. She’s looking for someone at least sixty years old; just six months ago, she called off her engagement upon discovering that her fiancé was only fifty-six and didn’t wear glasses to sign the contract.

Har. Only for that?

Har. Just for that?

Fro. Yes; she says there is no pleasure with a man of fifty-six; and she has a decided affection for those who wear spectacles.

Fro. Yes; she claims there’s no enjoyment with a man of fifty-six, and she definitely has a preference for those who wear glasses.

Har. Well, this is quite new to me.

Har. Well, this is all new to me.

Fro. No one can imagine how far she carries this. She has in her room a few pictures and engravings, and what do you imagine they are? An Adonis, a Cephalus, a Paris, an Apollo? Not a bit of it! Fine portraits of Saturn, of King Priam, of old Nestor, and of good father Anchises on his son's shoulders.

Fro. No one can imagine how deeply she feels about this. In her room, she has a few pictures and engravings, and what do you think they are? An Adonis, a Cephalus, a Paris, an Apollo? Not at all! Instead, they’re fine portraits of Saturn, King Priam, old Nestor, and good father Anchises on his son’s shoulders.

Har. That's admirable. I should never have guessed such a thing; and I am very pleased to hear that she has such taste as this. Indeed had I been a woman, I should never have loved young fellows.

Har. That's impressive. I never would have guessed that; and I'm really glad to hear she has such good taste. Honestly, if I were a woman, I would never have been interested in young guys.

Fro. I should think not. Fine trumpery indeed, these young men, for any one to fall in love with. Fine jackanapes and puppies for a woman to hanker after. I should like to know what relish anyone can find in them?

Fro. I don't think so. What a joke, these young guys, for anyone to fall for. Just a bunch of spoiled brats and immature kids for a woman to be interested in. I'd really like to know what anyone sees in them?

Har. Truly; I don't understand it myself, and I cannot make out how it is that some women dote so on them.

Har. Honestly, I don't get it either, and I can't figure out why some women are so crazy about them.

Fro. They must be downright idiots. Can any one be in his senses who thinks youth amiable? Can those curly-pated coxcombs be men, and can one really get attached to such animals?

Fro. They must be complete fools. Is there anyone in their right mind who thinks youth is charming? Can those curly-headed idiots actually be considered men, and can anyone really get attached to such beings?

Har. Exactly what I say every day! With their effeminate voices, their three little bits of a beard turned up like cat's whiskers, their tow wigs, their flowing breeches and open breasts!

Har. Exactly what I say every day! With their soft voices, their tiny beards sticking out like cat's whiskers, their wigs, their loose pants, and their open shirts!

Fro. Yes; they are famous guys compared with yourself. In you we see something like a man. There is enough to satisfy the eye. It is thus that one should be made and dressed to inspire love.

Fro. Yeah; they’re well-known compared to you. In you, we see something resembling a man. There’s enough to catch the eye. This is how one should be made and dressed to evoke love.

Har. Then you think I am pretty well?

Har. So you think I’m doing okay?

Fro. Pretty well! I should think so; you are charming, and your face would make a beautiful picture. Turn round a little, if you please. You could not find anything better anywhere. Let me see you walk. You have a well-shaped body, free and easy, as it should be, and one which gives no sign of infirmity.

Fro. Pretty good! I would say so; you’re lovely, and your face would make a stunning portrait. Can you turn around a bit, please? You wouldn’t find anything better anywhere. Let me watch you walk. You have a well-proportioned body, relaxed and effortless, just as it should be, and it shows no signs of weakness.

Har. I have nothing the matter to speak of, I am thankful to say. It is only my cough, which returns from time to time.⁵

Har. I'm glad to report that nothing is wrong with me. It's just my cough, which comes and goes.⁵

Fro. That is nothing, and coughing becomes you exceedingly well.

Fro. That's nothing, and you really pull off the coughing look.

Har. Tell me, Frosine, has Marianne seen me yet? Has she not noticed me when I passed by?

Har. Tell me, Frosine, has Marianne seen me yet? Has she not noticed me when I walked by?

Fro. No; but we have had many conversations about you. I gave her an exact description of your person, and I did not fail to make the most of your merit, and to show her what an advantage it would be to have a husband like you.

Fro. No, but we've had a lot of talks about you. I gave her a detailed description of what you’re like, and I made sure to emphasize your worth and show her how great it would be to have a husband like you.

Har. You did right, and I thank you very much for it.

Har. You did the right thing, and I really appreciate it.

Fro. I have, Sir, a small request to make to you. I am in danger of losing a lawsuit for want of a little money (Harpagon looks grave), and you can easily help me with it, if you have pity upon me. You cannot imagine how happy she will be to see you. (Harpagon looks joyful.) Oh! how sure you are to please her, and how sure that antique ruff of yours is to produce a wonderful effect on her mind. But, above all, she will be delighted with your breeches fastened to your doublet with tags; that will make her mad after you, and a lover who wears tags will be most welcome to her.

Fro. I have a small favor to ask of you, Sir. I'm at risk of losing a lawsuit because I need a little money (Harpagon looks serious), and you could easily help me if you have any compassion. You can’t imagine how happy she will be to see you. (Harpagon looks cheerful.) Oh! You’re sure to impress her, and that old ruff of yours is definitely going to make an impression on her. But most of all, she’ll love your breeches that are fastened to your doublet with tags; that’ll drive her crazy for you, and a lover who wears tags will be very appealing to her.

Har. You send me into raptures, Frosine, by saying that.

Har. You make me incredibly happy, Frosine, when you say that.

Fro. I tell you the truth, Sir; this lawsuit is of the utmost importance for me. (Harpagon looks serious again.) If I lose it, I am for ever ruined; but a very small sum will save me. I should like you to have seen the happiness she felt when I spoke of you to her. (Harpagon looks pleased again.) Joy sparkled in her eyes while I told her of all your good qualities; and I succeeded, in short, in making her look forward with the greatest impatience to the conclusion of the match.

Fro. I’m being honest with you, Sir; this lawsuit is incredibly important to me. (Harpagon looks serious again.) If I lose, I’ll be completely ruined; but a very small amount of money can save me. I wish you could have seen the happiness she felt when I mentioned you to her. (Harpagon looks pleased again.) Joy sparkled in her eyes while I talked about all your good qualities; and I managed, in short, to make her look forward with great excitement to the outcome of the match.

Har. You have given me great pleasure, Frosine, and I assure you I …

Har. You’ve brought me a lot of joy, Frosine, and I promise you I …

Fro. I beg of you, Sir, to grant me the little assistance I ask of you. (Harpagon again looks grave.) It will put me on my feet again, and I shall feel grateful to you for ever.

Fro. I’m asking you, Sir, to give me the small help I need. (Harpagon looks serious again.) It will get me back on my feet, and I will be grateful to you forever.

Har. Good-bye; I must go and finish my correspondence.

Har. Goodbye; I have to go and wrap up my correspondence.

Fro. I assure you, Sir, that you could not help me in a more pressing necessity.

Fro. I guarantee you, Sir, that you couldn't assist me in a more urgent situation.

Har. I will see that my carriage is ready to take you to the fair.

Har. I’ll make sure my carriage is ready to take you to the fair.

Fro. I would not importune you so if I were not compelled by necessity.

Fro. I wouldn't bother you like this if I wasn't forced by circumstance.

Har. And I will see that we have supper early, so that nobody may be ill.

Har. And I’ll make sure we have dinner early, so no one gets sick.

Fro. Do not refuse me the service; I beg of you. You can hardly believe, Sir, the pleasure that …

Fro. Please don’t deny me this favor; I’m begging you. You can hardly imagine, Sir, the joy that …

Har. I must go; somebody is calling me. We shall see each other again by and by.

Har. I have to go; someone is calling me. We’ll see each other again soon.

Fro. (alone). May the fever seize you, you stingy cur, and send you to the devil and his angels! The miser has held out against all my attacks; but I must not drop the negotiation; for I have the other side, and there, at all events, I am sure of a good reward.

Fro. (alone). I hope the fever gets you, you greedy coward, and sends you to hell with his angels! The miser has resisted all my attempts; but I can't give up the negotiation; because I have the other side, and there, at least, I'm guaranteed a good reward.

ACT III.

SCENE I.——HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, ÉLISE, VALÈRE, DAME CLAUDE (holding a broom), MASTER JACQUES, LA MERLUCHE, BRINDAVOINE.

Har. Here, come here, all of you; I must give you orders for by and by, and arrange what each one will have to do. Come nearer, Dame Claude; let us begin with you. (Looking at her broom.) Good; you are ready armed, I see. To you I commit the care of cleaning up everywhere; but, above all, be very careful not to rub the furniture too hard, for fear of wearing it out. Besides this, I put the bottles under your care during supper, and if any one of them is missing, or if anything gets broken, you will be responsible for it, and pay it out of your wages.

Har. Hey, come here, everyone; I need to give you some tasks for later and organize what each of you will do. Get closer, Dame Claude; let's start with you. (Looking at her broom.) Okay; I see you're ready for action. I’m putting you in charge of cleaning everything up, but be extra careful not to scrub the furniture too hard, so you don't damage it. Also, I'm assigning you to look after the bottles during dinner, and if any are missing or anything gets broken, you'll be held responsible and will need to cover the costs from your pay.

Jac. (aside). A shrewd punishment that.

Jac. (aside). That’s a clever punishment.

Har. (to Dame Claude.) Now you may go.

Har. (to Lady Claude.) You can leave now.

SCENE II.——HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, ÉLISE, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES, BRINDAVOINE, LA MERLUCHE.

Har. To you, Brindavoine, and to you, La Merluche, belongs the duty of washing the glasses, and of giving to drink, but only when people are thirsty, and not according to the custom of certain impertinent lackeys, who urge them to drink, and put the idea into their heads when they are not thinking about it. Wait until you have been asked several times, and remember always to have plenty of water.

Har. Brindavoine and La Merluche, it's your job to wash the glasses and serve drinks, but only when people are actually thirsty, not like some pushy waitstaff who pressure them to drink and plant the idea in their minds when they're not even thinking about it. Wait until you've been asked a few times, and always make sure to have plenty of water on hand.

Jac. (aside). Yes; wine without water gets into one's head.

Jac. (aside). Yes; drinking wine straight makes you loopy.

La Mer. Shall we take off our smocks, Sir?

The Sea. Should we take off our smocks, Sir?

Har. Yes, when you see the guests coming; but be very careful not to spoil your clothes.

Har. Yes, when you see the guests arriving; but be very careful not to ruin your clothes.

Brind. You know, Sir, that one of the fronts of my doublet is covered with a large stain of oil from the lamp.

Brind. You know, Sir, that one side of my jacket has a big oil stain from the lamp.

La Mer. And I, Sir, that my breeches are all torn behind, and that, saving your presence …

The sea. And I, Sir, that my pants are all ripped in the back, and that, with all due respect …

Har. (to La Merluche). Peace! Turn carefully towards the wall, and always face the company. (To Brindavoine, showing him how he is to hold his hat before his doublet, to hide the stain of oil) And you, always hold your hat in this fashion when you wait on the guests.

Har. (to The Hake). Peace! Turn slowly towards the wall, and always face the guests. (To Brindavoine, demonstrating how he should hold his hat in front of his doublet to cover the oil stain) And you, always hold your hat like this when you are serving the guests.

SCENE III.——HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, ÉLISE, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES.

Har. As for you, my daughter, you will look after all that is cleared off the table, and see that nothing is wasted: this care is very becoming to young girls. Meanwhile get ready to welcome my lady-love, who is coming this afternoon to pay you a visit, and will take you off to the fair with her. Do you understand what I say?

Har. As for you, my daughter, you will take care of everything that's cleared off the table and make sure nothing goes to waste: this is a great responsibility for young girls. Meanwhile, get ready to welcome my lady-love, who is coming this afternoon to visit you and will take you to the fair with her. Do you understand what I'm saying?

Eli. Yes, father.

Eli. Yes, Dad.

SCENE IV.——HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES.

Har. And you, my young dandy of a son to whom I have the kindness of forgiving what happened this morning, mind you don't receive her coldly, or show her a sour face.

Har. And you, my young stylish son, to whom I’ve kindly forgiven what happened this morning, make sure you don’t greet her coldly or give her a sour look.

Cle. Receive her coldly! And why should I?

Cle. Why should I treat her coldly?

Har. Why? why? We know pretty well the ways of children whose fathers marry again, and the looks they give to those we call stepmothers. But if you wish me to forget your last offence, I advise you, above all things, to receive her kindly, and, in short, to give her the heartiest welcome you can.

Har. Why? Why? We know pretty well how kids react when their dads remarry, and the looks they give to what we call stepmoms. But if you want me to overlook what you did last, I suggest you, above all else, treat her nicely and, in short, give her the warmest welcome you can.

Cle. To speak the truth, father, I cannot promise you that I am very happy to see her become my stepmother; but as to receiving her properly, and as to giving her a kind welcome, I promise to obey you in that to the very letter.

Cle. Honestly, Dad, I can’t say I’m thrilled about her becoming my stepmom; but when it comes to treating her right and giving her a warm welcome, I promise to do exactly as you ask.

Har. Be careful you do, at least.

Har. Just make sure you do, at the very least.

Cle. You will see that you have no cause to complain.

Cle. You’ll see that you have no reason to complain.

Har. You will do wisely.

Har. You will make a smart choice.

SCENE V.——HARPAGON, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES.

Har. Valère, you will have to give me your help in this business. Now, Master Jacques, I kept you for the last.

Har. Valère, I need your help with this. Now, Master Jacques, I saved you for last.

Jac. Is it to your coachman, Sir, or to your cook you want to speak, for I am both the one and the other?

Jac. Are you looking to talk to your coachman, Sir, or your cook? Because I’m both.

Har. To both.

Jac. But to which of the two first?

Jac. But which of the two should come first?

Har. To the cook.

Hey, to the cook.

Jac. Then wait a minute, if you please.

Jac. Then hold on a second, if you don't mind.

(Jacques takes off his stable-coat and appears dressed as a cook.)

(Jacques takes off his stable coat and appears dressed as a cook.)

Har. What the deuce is the meaning of this ceremony?

Har. What on earth is the meaning of this ceremony?

Jac. Now I am at your service.

Jac. I'm here to help you.

Har. I have engaged myself, Master Jacques, to give a supper to-night.

Har. I’ve promised you, Master Jacques, to host dinner tonight.

Jac. (aside). Wonderful!

Jac. (aside). Awesome!

Har. Tell me, can you give us a good supper?

Har. Tell me, can you prepare us a decent dinner?

Jac. Yes, if you give me plenty of money.

Jac. Yeah, if you give me a lot of cash.

Har. The deuce! Always money! I think they have nothing else to say except money, money, money! Always that same word in their mouth, money! They always speak of money! It's their pillow companion, money!

Har. What the heck! It’s always about money! I feel like they have nothing else to talk about except money, money, money! That same word is always in their conversations, money! It’s like their best friend, money!

Val. Never did I hear such an impertinent answer! Would you call it wonderful to provide good cheer with plenty of money? Is it not the easiest thing in the world? The most stupid could do as much. But a clever man should talk of a good supper with little money.

Val. I’ve never heard such a disrespectful response! Would you really call it impressive to spread joy with a lot of cash? Isn't that the easiest thing ever? Even the simplest among us could manage that. But a smart person should discuss a great meal without spending much.

Jac. A good supper with little money?

Jac. A nice dinner without spending much money?

Val. Yes.

Jac. (to Valère). Indeed, Mr. Steward, you will oblige me greatly by telling me your secret, and also, if you like, by filling my place as cook; for you keep on meddling here, and want to be everything.

Jac. (to Valerie). Honestly, Mr. Steward, I would really appreciate it if you could share your secret with me, and if you don't mind, take my spot as the cook; because you keep getting involved in everything and seem to want to do it all.

Har. Hold your tongue. What shall we want?

Har. Be quiet. What do we need?

Jac. Ask that of Mr. Steward, who will give you good cheer with little money.

Jac. Ask Mr. Steward about that; he’ll brighten your day without it costing much.

Har. Do you hear? I am speaking to you, and expect you to answer me.

Har. Do you hear me? I'm talking to you, and I expect you to respond.

Jac. How many will there be at your table?

Jac. How many people will be at your table?

Har. Eight or ten; but you must only reckon for eight. When there is enough for eight, there is enough for ten.

Har. Eight or ten; but you should only count on eight. When there’s enough for eight, there’s enough for ten.

Val. That is evident.

Val. That’s obvious.

Jac. Very well, then; you must have four tureens of soup and five side dishes; soups, entrées …

Jac. Alright, then; you need to have four bowls of soup and five side dishes; soups, main courses …

Har. What! do you mean to feed a whole town?

Har. What! Are you planning to feed an entire town?

Jac. Roast …

Har. (clapping his hand on Master Jacques' mouth). Ah! Wretch! you are eating up all my substance.

Har. (clapping his hand on Master Jacques' mouth). Ah! Wretch! You're draining all my resources.

Jac. Entremêts …

Jac. Snacks …

Har. (again putting his hand on Jacques' mouth). More still?

Val. (to Jacques). Do you mean to kill everybody? And has your master invited people in order to destroy them with over-feeding? Go and read a little the precepts of health, and ask the doctors if there is anything so hurtful to man as excess in eating.

Val. (to Jacques). Are you really planning to kill everyone? And has your boss invited people over just to ruin them with too much food? Go read up on some health guidelines, and check with doctors if there's anything more harmful to people than overeating.

Har. He is perfectly right.

Har. He is absolutely right.

Val. Know, Master Jacques, you and people like you, that a table overloaded with eatables is a real cut-throat; that, to be the true friends of those we invite, frugality should reign throughout the repast we give, and that according to the saying of one of the ancients, "We must eat to live, and not live to eat."

Val. Listen, Master Jacques, you and people like you, a table loaded with food is actually dangerous; to be true friends to our guests, we should practice moderation throughout the meal we provide, just like one of the ancients said, "We must eat to live, not live to eat."

Har. Ah! How well the man speaks! Come near, let me embrace you for this last saying. It is the finest sentence that I have ever heard in my life: "We must live to eat, and not eat to live." No; that isn't it. How do you say it?

Har. Ah! The way he speaks is amazing! Come closer, let me hug you for that last statement. It's the best sentence I've ever heard: "We should live to eat, not eat to live." No; that’s not quite it. How do you put it?

Val. That we must eat to live, and not live to eat.

Val. We need to eat to survive, not live just to eat.

Har. (to Master Jacques). Yes. Do you hear that? (To Valère) Who is the great man who said that?

Har. (to Master Jake). Yes. Do you hear that? (To Valere) Who is the impressive person who said that?

Val. I do not exactly recollect his name just now.

Val. I don't quite remember his name at the moment.

Har. Remember to write down those words for me. I will have them engraved in letters of gold over the mantel-piece of my dining-room.

Har. Make sure to jot down those words for me. I want them engraved in golden letters above the mantel in my dining room.

Val. I will not fail. As for your supper, you had better let me manage it. I will see that it is all as it should be.

Val. I won't let you down. As for your dinner, you should let me handle it. I'll make sure everything is just right.

Har. Do so.

Har. Go for it.

Jac. So much the better; all the less work for me.

Jac. That's great; it means less work for me.

Har. (to Valère). We must have some of those things of which it is not possible to eat much, and that satisfy directly. Some good fat beans, and a pâté well stuffed with chestnuts.

Har. (to Valer). We need to have some of those foods that you can’t eat too much of, but that satisfy right away. Some good, rich beans, and a pâté packed with chestnuts.

Val. Trust to me.

Val. Trust me.

Har. Now, Master Jacques, you must clean my carriage.

Har. Now, Master Jacques, you need to clean my carriage.

Jac. Wait a moment; this is to the coachman. (Jacques puts on his coat.) You say …

Jac. Hold on a sec; this is for the driver. (Jacques puts on his coat.) You say …

Har. That you must clean my carriage, and have my horses ready to drive to the fair.

Har. You need to clean my carriage and have my horses ready to go to the fair.

Jac. Your horses! Upon my word, Sir, they are not at all in a condition to stir. I won't tell you that they are laid up, for the poor things have got nothing to lie upon, and it would not be telling the truth. But you make them keep such rigid fasts that they are nothing but phantoms, ideas, and mere shadows of horses.

Jac. Your horses! Honestly, Sir, they’re not in any shape to move. I won't say they’re out of commission, since the poor things have nothing to rest on, and that wouldn’t be true. But you make them stick to such strict diets that they're just phantoms, concepts, and mere shadows of horses.

Har. They are much to be pitied. They have nothing to do.

Har. It's really sad for them. They have nothing to occupy their time.

Jac. And because they have nothing to do, must they have nothing to eat? It would be much better for them, poor things, to work much and eat to correspond. It breaks my heart to see them so reduced; for, in short, I love my horses; and when I see them suffer, it seems as if it were myself. Every day I take the bread out of my own mouth to feed them; and it is being too hard-hearted, Sir, to have no compassion upon one's neighbour.

Jac. And just because they have nothing to do, do they also have to go without food? It would be so much better for them, poor things, to work a lot and eat accordingly. It breaks my heart to see them so diminished; because, honestly, I love my horses; and when I see them in pain, it feels like I'm suffering too. Every day I take food from my own plate to feed them; and it's pretty cruel, Sir, not to have any compassion for one's neighbor.

Har. It won't be very hard work to go to the fair.

Har. Going to the fair won't be that much of a hassle.

Jac. No, Sir. I haven't the heart to drive them; it would go too much against my conscience to use the whip to them in the state they are in. How could you expect them to drag a carriage? They have not even strength enough to drag themselves along.

Jac. No, Sir. I can't bring myself to drive them; it would weigh too heavily on my conscience to whip them in their current condition. How could you expect them to pull a carriage? They don't even have enough strength to move on their own.

Val. Sir, I will ask our neighbour, Picard, to drive them; particularly as we shall want his help to get the supper ready.

Val. Sir, I will ask our neighbor, Picard, to drive them; especially since we will need his help to get dinner ready.

Jac. Be it so. I had much rather they should die under another's hand than under mine.

Jac. Fine by me. I'd much rather they die by someone else's hand than by mine.

Val. Master Jacques is mightily considerate.

Val. Master Jacques is very thoughtful.

Jac. Mr. Steward is mightily indispensable.

Jac. Mr. Steward is incredibly essential.

Har. Peace.

Jac. Sir, I can't bear these flatteries, and I can see that, whatever this man does, his continual watching after the bread, wine, wood, salt, and candles, is done but to curry favour and to make his court to you. I am indignant to see it all; and I am sorry to hear every day what is said of you; for, after all, I have a certain tenderness for you; and, except my horses, you are the person I like most in the world.

Jac. Sir, I can't stand these compliments, and I can tell that, no matter what this guy does, his constant attention to the bread, wine, wood, salt, and candles is just a way to get on your good side. It makes me angry to see it all, and it saddens me to hear what people say about you every day; because, after all, I do care about you a lot, and besides my horses, you are the person I like the most in the world.

Har. And I would know from you, Master Jacques, what it is that is said of me.

Har. And I would like to hear from you, Master Jacques, what people are saying about me.

Jac. Yes, certainly, Sir, if I were sure you would not get angry with me.

Jac. Sure, Sir, as long as I know you won’t get mad at me.

Har. No, no; never fear.

Har. No, no; don’t worry.

Jac. Excuse me, but I am sure you will be angry.

Jac. Sorry to interrupt, but I know you'll be upset.

Har. No, on the contrary, you will oblige me. I should be glad to know what people say of me.

Har. No, actually, you'll do me a favor. I'd really like to know what people think of me.

Jac. Since you wish it, Sir, I will tell you frankly that you are the laughing-stock of everybody; that they taunt us everywhere by a thousand jokes on your account, and that nothing delights people more than to make sport of you, and to tell stories without end about your stinginess. One says that you have special almanacks printed, where you double the ember days and vigils, so that you may profit by the fasts to which you bind all your house; another, that you always have a ready-made quarrel for your servants at Christmas time or when they leave you, so that you may give them nothing. One tells a story how not long since you prosecuted a neighbour's cat because it had eaten up the remainder of a leg of mutton; another says that one night you were caught stealing your horses' oats, and that your coachman,—that is the man who was before me,—gave you, in the dark, a good sound drubbing, of which you said nothing. In short, what is the use of going on? We can go nowhere but we are sure to hear you pulled to pieces. You are the butt and jest and byword of everybody; and never does anyone mention you but under the names of miser, stingy, mean, niggardly fellow and usurer.

Jac. Since you want it, Sir, I’ll be honest with you: everyone is laughing at you. They make fun of us everywhere with countless jokes about you, and nothing makes people happier than mocking you and sharing endless stories about your stinginess. Some say you have special calendars printed where you double the ember days and vigils so you can profit from the fasts you impose on your household; others say you always have a ready-made argument with your servants at Christmas or when they leave you so you won’t have to give them anything. There's a story going around about how you recently sued a neighbor’s cat for eating the leftover leg of mutton; another claims that one night you were caught stealing your horses' oats and your coachman—the same guy who was just here—gave you a good thrashing in the dark, which you didn’t mention. Honestly, what’s the point of continuing? Wherever we go, we’re bound to hear you being ridiculed. You are the target, the joke, and the punchline for everyone; and no one refers to you without calling you a miser, stingy, cheap, greedy, or a loan shark.

Har. (beating Jacques). You are a fool, a rascal, a scoundrel, and an impertinent wretch.

Har. (beating Jacques). You’re an idiot, a jerk, a con artist, and an insolent lowlife.

Jac. There, there! Did not I know how it would be? You would not believe me. I told you I should make you angry if I spoke the truth?

Jac. There, there! Didn’t I know how this would go? You wouldn’t believe me. I told you I’d make you angry if I spoke the truth?

Har. Learn how to speak.

Har. Learn to speak.

SCENE VI.——VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES.

Val. (laughing). Well, Master Jacques, your frankness is badly rewarded, I fear.

Val. (laughing). Well, Master Jacques, I’m afraid your honesty isn’t being appreciated.

Jac. S'death! Mr. Upstart, you who assume the man of consequence, it is no business of yours as far as I can see. Laugh at your own cudgelling when you get it, and don't come here and laugh at mine.

Jac. To hell with it! Mr. Bigshot, you who act like you're so important, this isn't your concern as far as I can tell. Enjoy your own beating when it happens, and don't come here to laugh at mine.

Val. Ah! Master Jacques, don't get into a passion, I beg of you.

Val. Ah! Master Jacques, please don’t get so worked up, I’m asking you.

Jac. (aside). He is drawing in his horns. I will put on a bold face, and if he is fool enough to be afraid of me, I will pay him back somewhat. (To Valère) Do you know, Mr. Grinner, that I am not exactly in a laughing humour, and that if you provoke me too much, I shall make you laugh after another fashion. (Jacques pushes Valère to the farther end of the stage, threatening him.)

Jac. (aside) He's backing off. I'll put on a brave face, and if he’s foolish enough to be scared of me, I'll get back at him a bit. (To Valerie) You know, Mr. Grinner, I'm not really in the mood to laugh, and if you push me too far, I’ll make you laugh in a different way. (Jacques pushes Valere to the far end of the stage, threatening him.)

Val. Gently, gently.

Val. Take it easy.

Jac. How gently? And if it does not please me to go gently?

Jac. How gentle? And what if I don't want to be gentle?

Val. Come, come! What are you about?

Val. Come on! What are you doing?

Jac. You are an impudent rascal.

Jac. You're a cheeky little rascal.

Val. Master Jacques …

Jac. None of your Master Jacques here! If I take up a stick, I shall soon make you feel it.

Jac. No Master Jacques here! If I grab a stick, you'll definitely feel it.

Val. What do you mean by a stick? (Drives back Jacques in his turn.)

Jac. No; I don't say anything about that.

Val. Do you know, Mr. Conceit, that I am a man to give you a drubbing in good earnest?

Val. Do you realize, Mr. Conceit, that I’m someone who can seriously beat you up?

Jac. I have no doubt of it.

Jac. I'm totally sure of it.

Val. That, after all, you are nothing but a scrub of a cook?

Val. So, you’re just a nobody when it comes to cooking?

Jac. I know it very well.

Jac. I know it really well.

Val. And that you don't know me yet?

Val. And you still don’t know me?

Jac. I beg your pardon.

Jac. Excuse me.

Val. You will beat me, you say?

Val.
You think you can beat me, huh?

Jac. I only spoke in jest.

Jac. I was just kidding.

Val. I don't like your jesting, and (beating Jacques) remember that you are but a sorry hand at it.

Val. I don't appreciate your jokes, and (beating Jacques) keep in mind that you're not very good at it.

Jac. (alone). Plague take all sincerity; it is a bad trade. I give it up for the future, and will cease to tell the truth. It is all very well for my master to beat me; but as for that Mr. Steward, what right has he to do it? I will be revenged on him if I can.

Jac. (alone). Forget sincerity; it's not worth it. I'm done with it for the future, and I won't speak the truth anymore. It's one thing for my master to hit me, but what right does Mr. Steward have to do the same? I will get back at him if I can.

SCENE VII.——MARIANNE, FROSINE, MASTER JACQUES.

Fro. Do you know if your master is at home?

Fro. Do you know if your boss is home?

Jac. Yes, he is indeed; I know it but too well.

Jac. Yeah, he really is; I know it all too well.

Fro. Tell him, please, that we are here.

Fro. Please let him know that we are here.

SCENE VIII.——MARIANNE, FROSINE.

Mar. Ah! Frosine, how strange I feel, and how I dread this interview!

Mar. Ah! Frosine, I feel so strange, and I really dread this meeting!

Fro. Why should you? What can you possibly dread?

Fro. Why would you? What could you possibly be afraid of?

Mar. Alas! can you ask me? Can you not understand the alarms of a person about to see the instrument of torture to which she is to be tied.

Mar. Oh no! Can you really ask me? Can't you grasp the panic of someone about to face the torture device she's going to be strapped to?

Fro. I see very well that to die agreeably, Harpagon is not the torture you would embrace; and I can judge by your looks that the fair young man you spoke of to me is still in your thoughts.

Fro. I can see clearly that dying peacefully is not the fate you would choose; and I can tell by your expression that the handsome young man you mentioned is still on your mind.

Mar. Yes, Frosine; it is a thing I do not wish to deny. The respectful visits he has paid at our house have left, I confess, a great impression on my heart.

Mar. Yes, Frosine; I can’t deny it. The respectful visits he’s made to our house have, I admit, left a strong impression on my heart.

Fro. But do you know who he is?

Mar. No, I do not. All I know is that he is made to be loved; that if things were left to my choice, I would much rather marry him than any other, and that he adds not a little to the horrible dread that I have of the husband they want to force upon me.

Mar. No, I don’t. All I know is that he is meant to be loved; that if it were up to me, I would definitely choose to marry him over anyone else, and that he intensifies the awful fear I have of the husband they are trying to force on me.

Fro. Oh yes! All those dandies are very pleasant, and can talk agreeably enough, but most of them are as poor as church mice; and it is much better for you to marry an old husband, who gives you plenty of money. I fully acknowledge that the senses somewhat clash with the end I propose, and that there are certain little inconveniences to be endured with such a husband; but all that won't last; and his death, believe me, will soon put you in a position to take a more pleasant husband, who will make amends for all.

Fro. Oh yes! All those fashionable guys are really charming and can hold a nice conversation, but most of them are as broke as a joke; and it's much better for you to marry an older guy who will give you plenty of money. I fully admit that the senses might clash with what I’m suggesting, and that there are a few small annoyances to deal with when you have a husband like that; but all of that won't last; and his passing, trust me, will quickly put you in a position to find a more enjoyable husband, who will make up for everything.

Mar. Oh, Frosine! What a strange state of things that, in order to be happy, we must look forward to the death of another. Yet death will not fall in with all the projects we make.

Mar. Oh, Frosine! What a weird situation that, to be happy, we have to anticipate someone else's death. But death won't always align with our plans.

Fro. You are joking. You marry him with the express understanding that he will soon leave you a widow; it must be one of the articles of the marriage contract. It would be very wrong in him not to die before three months are over. Here he is himself.

Fro. You’ve got to be kidding. You marry him knowing full well that he’ll leave you a widow soon; it has to be in the marriage agreement. It would be terrible if he didn’t die within three months. Here he is now.

Mar. Ah! dear Frosine, what a face!

SCENE IX.——HARPAGON, MARIANNE, FROSINE.

Har. (to Marianne). Do not be offended, fair one, if I come to you with my glasses on. I know that your beauty is great enough to be seen with the naked eye; but, still, it is with glasses that we look at the stars, and I maintain and uphold that you are a star, the most beautiful and in the land of stars. Frosine, she does not answer, star, it seems to me, shows no joy at the sight of me.

Har. (to Marianne). Please don't take offense, my lovely, if I approach you with my glasses on. I know your beauty is so remarkable that it can be appreciated without them; however, we use glasses to gaze at the stars, and I believe you are a star, the most beautiful one in the galaxy. Frosine, she doesn’t respond; it seems to me that the star shows no joy at the sight of me.

Fro. It is because she is still quite awe-struck, and young girls are always shy at first, and afraid of showing what they feel.

Fro. It's because she’s still pretty amazed, and young girls are always shy at first and scared to show what they feel.

Har. (to Frosine). You are right. (To Marianne) My pretty darling, there is my daughter coming to welcome you.

Har. (to Frosine) You’re right. (To Marianne) My lovely darling, here comes my daughter to greet you.

SCENE X.——HARPAGON, ÉLISE, MARIANNE, FROSINE.

Mar. I am very late in acquitting myself of the visit I owed you.

Mar. I’m really late in returning the visit I promised you.

Eli. You have done what I ought to have done. It was for me to have come and seen you first.

Eli. You’ve done what I should have done. I should have come to see you first.

Har. You see what a great girl she is; but ill weeds grow apace.

Har. You can see what a wonderful girl she is; but bad influences spread quickly.

Mar. (aside to Frosine). Oh, what an unpleasant man!

Mar. (aside to Frosine). Ugh, what a terrible guy!

Har. (to Frosine). What does my fair one say?

Har. (to Frosine). What does my lovely one say?

Fro. That she thinks you perfect.

Fro. That she thinks you’re perfect.

Har. You do me too much honour, my adorable darling.

Har. You flatter me too much, my lovely darling.

Mar. (aside). What a dreadful creature!

Mar. (aside). What an awful creature!

Har. I really feel too grateful to you for these sentiments.

Har. I truly feel so thankful to you for these feelings.

Mar. (aside). I can bear it no longer.

Mar. (aside). I can't take it anymore.

SCENE XI.——HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, CLÉANTE, VALÈRE, FROSINE, BRINDAVOINE.

Har. Here is my son, who also comes to pay his respects to you.

Har. Here is my son, who has also come to pay his respects to you.

Mar. (aside to Frosine). Oh, Frosine! what a strange meeting! He is the very one of whom I spoke to you.

Mar. (aside to Frosine). Oh, Frosine! What a weird coincidence! He’s the exactly the person I told you about.

Fro. (to Marianne). Well, that is extraordinary.

Wow, that's amazing.

Har. You are surprised to see that my children can be so old; but I shall soon get rid of both of them.

Har. You might be surprised to see that my kids are grown; but I’ll soon be rid of both of them.

Cle. (to Marianne). Madam, to tell you the truth, I little expected such an event; and my father surprised me not a little when he told me to-day of the decision he had come to.

Cle. (to Marianne). Madam, honestly, I didn't expect this at all; I was quite surprised when my father told me today about his decision.

Mar. I can say the same thing. It is an unexpected meeting; and I certainly was far from being prepared for such an event.

Mar. I can say the same thing. It’s an unexpected meeting, and I definitely wasn’t ready for something like this.

Cle. Madam, my father cannot make a better choice, and it is a great joy to me to have the honour of welcoming you here. At the same time, I cannot say that I should rejoice if it were your intention to become my stepmother. I must confess that I should find it difficult to pay you the compliment; and it is a title, forgive me, that I cannot wish you to have. To some this speech would seem coarse, but I feel that you understand it. This marriage, Madam, is altogether repugnant to me. You are not ignorant, now that you know who I am, how opposed it is to all my own interests, and with my father's permission I hope you will allow me to say that, if things depended on me, it would never take place.

Cle. Ma'am, my dad can't make a better choice, and it's a huge honor for me to welcome you here. But I have to admit, I wouldn't be happy if you planned to become my stepmom. I truly find it hard to give you that compliment; and I'm sorry, but it’s a title I wouldn’t want you to have. Some might think this is rude, but I believe you understand where I'm coming from. This marriage, Ma'am, is completely unacceptable to me. Now that you know who I am, you can see how it goes against all my interests, and with my dad's permission, I hope you'll let me say that if it were up to me, it would never happen.

Har. (aside). What a very impertinent speech to make; and what a confession to make to her!

Har. (aside). What a really rude thing to say; and what a confession to tell her!

Mar. And as my answer, I must tell you that things are much the same with me, and that, if you have any repugnance in seeing me your stepmother, I shall have no less in seeing you my stepson. Do not believe, I beg of you, that it is of my own will that this trouble has come upon you. I should be deeply grieved to cause you the least sorrow, and unless I am forced to it by a power I must obey, I give you my word that, I will never consent to a marriage which is so painful to you.

Mar. In response, I have to say that things are pretty much the same for me, and if you feel any discomfort about having me as your stepmother, I feel just as uneasy about you being my stepson. Please don’t think, I assure you, that this situation has arisen because I wanted it to. It would deeply upset me to cause you even the slightest sadness, and unless I am compelled by a force I have to obey, I promise you that I will never agree to a marriage that causes you this much distress.

Har. She is right. A foolish speech deserves a foolish answer. I beg your pardon, my love, for the impertinence of my son. He is a silly young fellow, who has not yet learnt the value of his own words.

Har. She’s right. A foolish speech deserves a foolish response. I apologize, my love, for my son's impudence. He’s a silly young man who hasn’t yet learned the value of his own words.

Mar. I assure you that he has not at all offended me. I am thankful, on the contrary, that he has spoken so openly. I care greatly for such a confession from him, and if he had spoken differently, I should feel much less esteem for him.

Mar. I assure you he hasn’t offended me at all. On the contrary, I’m grateful he was so honest. I really appreciate that kind of confession from him, and if he had said something different, I would think much less of him.

Har. It is very kind of you to excuse him thus. Time will make him wiser, and you will see that his feelings will change.

Har. It's really nice of you to excuse him like that. In time, he'll get wiser, and you'll see that his feelings will change.

Cle. No, father, they will never change; and I earnestly beg of you, Madam, to believe me.

Cle. No, dad, they will never change; and I seriously ask you, ma'am, to trust me.

Har. Did ever anybody see such folly? He is becoming worse and worse.

Har. Has anyone ever seen such foolishness? He’s getting worse and worse.

Cle. Would you have me false to my inmost feelings?

Cle. Do you want me to go against my true feelings?

Har. Again! Change your manners, if you please.

Har. Come on! Please change your behavior.

Cle. Very well, since you wish me to speak differently. Allow me, Madam, to take for a moment my father's place; and forgive me if I tell you that I never saw in the world anybody more charming than you are; that I can understand no happiness to equal that of pleasing you, and that to be your husband is a glory, a felicity, I should prefer to the destinies of the greatest princes upon earth. Yes, Madam, to possess you is, in my mind, to possess the best of all treasures; to obtain you is all my ambition. There is nothing I would not do for so precious a conquest, and the most powerful obstacles …

Cle. Alright, since you want me to speak differently. Please, Madam, let me take my father's place for a moment; and forgive me if I say that I've never seen anyone in the world as charming as you. I can’t imagine a happiness greater than making you happy, and being your husband would be a glory and a joy that I would prefer over the fates of the greatest princes on earth. Yes, Madam, having you, in my eyes, is like having the greatest treasure; winning your heart is my only ambition. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for such a precious prize, and the most formidable challenges…

Har. Gently, gently, my son, if you please.

Har. Easy, easy, my son, if you would.

Cle. These are complimentary words which I speak to her in your name.

Cle. These are kind words that I say to her on your behalf.

Har. Bless me! I have a tongue of my own to explain my feelings, and I really don't care for such an advocate as you … Here, bring us some chairs.

Har. Bless me! I can express my feelings just fine without your help, and I really don’t need someone like you to advocate for me… Here, can you bring us some chairs?

Fro. No; I think it is better for us to go at once to the fair, in order to be back earlier, and have plenty of time for talking.

Fro. No; I think it’s better for us to head to the fair right away so we can get back sooner and have enough time to chat.

Har. (to Brindavoine). Have the carriage ready at once.

Har. (to Brindavoine). Get the carriage ready right away.

SCENE XII.——HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, CLÉANTE, VALÈRE, FROSINE.

Har. (to Marianne). I hope you will excuse me, my dear, but I forgot to order some refreshments for you, before you went out.

Har. (to Marianne). I hope you can forgive me, my dear, but I forgot to get some snacks for you before you left.

Cle. I have thought of it, father, and have ordered to be brought in here some baskets of China oranges, sweet citrons, and preserves, which I sent for in your name.

Cle. I've thought about it, Dad, and I’ve arranged to have some baskets of Chinese oranges, sweet citrons, and preserves brought in here, which I ordered in your name.

Har. (aside, to Valère). Valère!

Valère!

Val. (aside, to Harpagon). He has lost his senses!

Val. (aside, to Harpagon). He has completely lost it!

Cle. You are afraid, father, that it will not be enough? I hope, Madam, that you will have the kindness to excuse it.

Cle. Are you worried, Dad, that it won’t be enough? I hope, Ma’am, that you’ll be kind enough to overlook it.

Mar. It was by no means necessary.

Mar. It definitely wasn't needed.

Cle. Did you ever see, Madam, a more brilliant diamond than the one my father has upon his finger?

Cle. Have you ever seen, Madam, a more dazzling diamond than the one my father wears on his finger?

Mar. It certainly sparkles very much.

Mar. It definitely shines a lot.

Cle. (taking the diamond off his father's finger). You must see it near.

Cle. (taking the diamond off his father's finger). You have to see it up close.

Mar. It is a beautiful one; it possesses great lustre.

Mar. It's a beautiful one; it has great shine.

Cle. (steps before Marianne, who wants to restore it). No, Madam, it is in hands too beautiful; it is a present my father gives you.

Cle. (steps before Marianne, who wants to restore it). No, Madam, it's in hands that are too beautiful; it's a gift my father gives you.

Har. I?

Cle. Is it not true, father, that you wish her to keep it for your sake?

Cle. Isn't it true, Dad, that you want her to keep it for your sake?

Har. (aside, to his son). What?

Cle. (to Marianne). A strange question indeed! He is making me signs that I am to force you to accept it.

Cle. (to Marianne). That’s quite a puzzling question! He’s giving me signals that I need to make you agree to it.

Mar. I would not …

Mar. I wouldn't …

Cle. (to Marianne). I beg of you…. He would not take it back.

Cle. (to Marianne). I’m begging you…. He wouldn't take it back.

Har. (aside). I am bursting with rage!

Har. (aside). I'm filled with anger!

Mar. It would be …

Cle. (still hindering Marianne from returning it). No; I tell you, you will offend him.

Cle. (still preventing Marianne from giving it back). No; I promise you, you'll upset him.

Mar. Pray …

Mar. Pray…

Cle. By no means.

No way.

Har. (aside). Plague take …

Har. (aside). Curse the …

Cle. He is perfectly shocked at your refusal.

Cle. He is completely stunned by your refusal.

Har. (aside, to his son). Ah! traitor!

Har. (aside, to his son). Ah! you traitor!

Cle. (to Marianne). You see he is in despair.

Cle. (to Marianne). You see, he’s really upset.

Har. (aside, to his son, threatening him). You villain!

Har. (aside, to his son, threatening him). You scoundrel!

Cle. Really, father, it is not my fault. I do all I can to persuade her to accept it; but she is obstinate.

Cle. Honestly, Dad, it's not my fault. I try my best to convince her to accept it, but she's really stubborn.

Har. (in a rage, aside to his son). Rascal!

Har. (angrily, to his son) You troublemaker!

Cle. You are the cause, Madam, of my father scolding me.

Cle. You are the reason my dad is upset with me.

Har. (aside, with the same looks). Scoundrel!

Har. (aside, with the same looks). Jerk!

Cle. (to Marianne). You will make him ill; for goodness' sake, hesitate no longer.

Cle. (to Marianne). You'll make him sick; for heaven's sake, don't wait any longer.

Fro. (to Marianne). Why so much ceremony? Keep the ring, since the gentleman wishes you to.

Fro. (to Marianne). Why all the fuss? Keep the ring, since the guy wants you to.

Mar. (to Harpagon). I will keep it now, Sir, in order not to make you angry, and I shall take another opportunity of returning it to you.

Mar. (to Harpagon). I’ll hang onto it for now, Sir, to avoid upsetting you, and I’ll find another chance to give it back to you.

SCENE XIII.——HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, VALÈRE, FROSINE, BRINDAVOINE.

Brind. Sir, there is a gentleman here who wants to speak to you.

Brind. Sir, there's a man here who wants to talk to you.

Har. Tell him that I am engaged, and that I cannot see him to-day.

Har. Tell him I'm busy and can't see him today.

Brind. He says he has some money for you.

Brind. He says he has some cash for you.

Har. (to Marianne). Pray, excuse me; I will come back directly.

Har. (to Marianne). Please forgive me; I’ll be right back.

SCENE XIV.——HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, CLÉANTE, FROSINE, LA MERLUCHE.

La Mer. (comes in running, and throws Harpagon down). Sir …

The Sea. (comes in running, and throws Harpagon down). Sir …

Har. Oh! he has killed me.

Cle. What's the matter, father? Have you hurt yourself?

Cle. What's wrong, Dad? Did you hurt yourself?

Har. The wretch must have been bribed by some of my debtors to break my neck.

Har. That miserable person must have been paid off by some of my debtors to kill me.

Val. (to Harpagon). There is nothing serious.

It's no big deal.

La Mer. (to Harpagon). I beg your pardon, Sir; I thought I had better run fast to tell you….

The Sea. (to Harpagon). Excuse me, Sir; I thought I should hurry to let you know….

Har. What?

Har? What?

La Mer. That your two horses have lost their shoes.

The Sea. That your two horses have lost their shoes.

Har. Take them quickly to the smith.

Har. Get them to the blacksmith fast.

Cle. In the meantime, father, I will do the honours of the house for you, and take this lady into the garden, where lunch will be brought.

Cle. In the meantime, Dad, I’ll take care of hosting for you and take this lady into the garden, where lunch will be served.

SCENE XV.——HARPAGON, VALÈRE.

Har. Valère, look after all this; and take care, I beseech you, to save as much of it as you can, so that we may send it back to the tradesman again.

Har. Valère, please handle all of this; and I kindly ask you to save as much as you can, so we can return it to the merchant later.

Val. I will.

Har. (alone). Miscreant! do you mean to ruin me?

Har. (alone). Troublemaker! Are you trying to destroy me?

ACT IV.

SCENE I.——CLÉANTE, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, FROSINE.

Cle. Let us come in here; we shall be much better. There is no one about us that we need be afraid of, and we can speak openly.

Cle. Let's come in here; we'll be much better off. There's no one around that we need to worry about, and we can talk freely.

Eli. Yes, Madam, my brother has told me of the love he has for you. I know what sorrow and anxiety such trials as these may cause, and I assure you that I have the greatest sympathy for you.

Eli. Yes, ma'am, my brother has shared with me how much he loves you. I understand the sadness and worry that situations like this can bring, and I want you to know that I truly sympathize with you.

Mar. I feel it a great comfort in my trouble to have the sympathy of a person like you, and I entreat you, Madam, ever to retain for me a friendship so capable of softening the cruelty of my fate.

Mar. It brings me a lot of comfort during my struggles to have your sympathy, and I ask you, Madam, to always keep our friendship, as it has the power to ease the harshness of my situation.

Fro. You really are both very unfortunate not to have told me of all this before. I might certainly have warded off the blow, and not have carried things so far.

Fro. It’s really unfortunate that you didn’t tell me all of this earlier. I definitely could have prevented this situation and not let things go this far.

Cle. What could I do? It is my evil destiny which has willed it so. But you, fair Marianne, what have you resolved to do? What resolution have you taken?

Cle. What can I do? It's my bad fate that has brought this upon me. But you, lovely Marianne, what have you decided to do? What decision have you made?

Mar. Alas! Is it in my power to take any resolution? And, dependent as I am, can I do anything else except form wishes?

Mar. Oh no! Can I really make any decisions? And, since I’m so reliant on others, can I do anything other than hope?

Cle. No other support for me in your heart? Nothing but mere wishes? No pitying energy? No kindly relief? No active affection?

Cle. Is there really no support for me in your heart? Just empty wishes? No caring energy? No kind relief? No real affection?

Mar. What am I to say to you? Put yourself in my place, and judge what I can possibly do. Advise me, dispose of me, I trust myself entirely to you, for I am sure that you will never ask of me anything but what is modest and seemly.

Mar. What should I say to you? Imagine being in my position and consider what I can do. Guide me, make decisions for me; I completely trust you, because I know you'll only ask of me what is reasonable and appropriate.

Cle. Alas! to what do you reduce me when you wish me to be guided entirely by feelings of strict duty and of scrupulous propriety.

Cle. Oh no! What do you make me become when you want me to be completely driven by a sense of rigid duty and strict propriety?

Mar. But what would you have me do? Even if I were, for you, to divest myself of the many scruples which our sex imposes on us, I have too much regard for my mother, who has brought me up with great tenderness, for me to give her any cause of sorrow. Do all you can with her. Strive to win her. I give you leave to say and do all you wish; and if anything depends upon her knowing the true state of my feelings, by all means tell her what they are; indeed I will do it myself if necessary.

Mar. But what do you want me to do? Even if I were to let go of the many concerns our gender expects of us for your sake, I care too much for my mother, who has raised me with so much love, to give her any reason to be upset. Do whatever you can with her. Work to win her over. You have my permission to say and do anything you want; and if anything relies on her knowing how I truly feel, please tell her that. In fact, I'll do it myself if it’s needed.

Cle. Frosine, dear Frosine, will you not help us?

Cle. Frosine, dear Frosine, will you help us?

Fro. Indeed, I should like to do so, as you know. I am not naturally unkind. Heaven has not given me a heart of flint, and I feel but too ready to help when I see young people loving each other in all earnestness and honesty. What can we do in this case?

Fro. I would really like to do that, as you know. I’m not naturally unkind. I don’t have a heart of stone, and I’m always willing to help when I see young people truly loving each other with sincerity and honesty. What can we do in this situation?

Cle. Try and think a little.

Cle. Try to think a bit.

Mar. Advise us.

Mar. Let us know.

Eli. Invent something to undo what you have done.

Eli. Create something to reverse what you've done.

Fro. Rather a difficult piece of business. (To Marianne) As far as your mother is concerned, she is not altogether unreasonable and we might succeed in making her give to the son the gift she reserved for the father. (To Cléante) But the most disheartening part of it all is that your father is your father.

Fro. It's quite a tricky situation. (To Marianne) Your mother isn't entirely unreasonable, and we might be able to convince her to give the gift she set aside for your father to her son instead. (To Cléante) But the most discouraging part of it all is that your father is still your father.

Cle. Yes, so it is.

Yep, that's right.

Fro. I mean that he will bear malice if he sees that he is refused, and he will be in no way disposed afterwards to give his consent to your marriage. It would be well if the refusal could be made to come from him, and you ought to try by some means or other to make him dislike you, Marianne.

Fro. I mean that he will hold a grudge if he sees that he is turned down, and he won’t be inclined to agree to your marriage afterward. It would be best if the refusal could come from him, and you should try to find a way to make him dislike you, Marianne.

Cle. You are quite right.

Cle. You're absolutely right.

Fro. Yes, right enough, no doubt. That is what ought to be done; but how in the world are we to set about it? Wait a moment. Suppose we had a somewhat elderly woman with a little of the ability which I possess, and able sufficiently well to represent a lady of rank, by means of a retinue made up in haste, and of some whimsical title of a marchioness or viscountess, whom we would suppose to come from Lower Brittany. I should have enough power over your father to persuade him that she is a rich woman, in possession, besides her houses, of a hundred thousand crowns in ready money; that she is deeply in love with him, and that she would marry him at any cost, were she even to give him all her money by the marriage contract. I have no doubt he would listen to the proposal. For certainly he loves you very much, my dear, but he loves money still better. When once he has consented to your marriage, it does not signify much how he finds out the true state of affairs about our marchioness.

Fro. Yes, that’s definitely what should be done; but how in the world do we even start? Hold on a sec. Imagine we had an older woman with a bit of the same charm I have, who could convincingly pass as a woman of high status, using a hastily assembled entourage and some quirky title like marchioness or viscountess, supposedly from Lower Brittany. I could easily convince your father that she’s a wealthy woman with, in addition to her properties, a hundred thousand crowns in cash. I could make him believe she’s totally in love with him and would marry him at any cost, even if it meant giving him all her money in the marriage contract. I'm sure he would entertain the idea. He definitely loves you a lot, my dear, but he loves money even more. Once he agrees to your marriage, it won't matter much how he finds out the truth about our marchioness.

Cle. All that is very well made up.

Cle. Everything is organized.

Fro. Leave it to me; I just remember one of my friends who will do beautifully.

Fro. Leave it to me; I just remember one of my friends who will do great.

Cle. Depend on my gratitude, Frosine, if you succeed. But, dear Marianne, let us begin, I beg of you, by gaining over your mother; it would be a great deal accomplished if this marriage were once broken off. Make use, I beseech you, of all the power that her tenderness for you gives you over her. Display without hesitation those eloquent graces, those all-powerful charms, with which Heaven has endowed your eyes and lips; forget not, I beseech you, those sweet persuasions, those tender entreaties, those loving caresses to which, I feel, nothing could be refused.

Cle. Count on my gratitude, Frosine, if you succeed. But, dear Marianne, let’s start by winning over your mother; it would be a huge step forward if we could break off this marriage. Please use all the influence that her love for you gives you. Show without hesitation those captivating charms and irresistible looks that Heaven has blessed you with; don’t forget, I implore you, those gentle words, those heartfelt pleas, those loving touches that I know would be impossible to resist.

Mar. I will do all I can, and will forget nothing.

Mar. I will do everything I can, and I won’t forget a thing.

SCENE II.——HARPAGON, MARIANNE, ÉLISE, FROSINE.

Har. (aside, and without being seen). Ah! ah! my son is kissing the hand of his intended stepmother, and his intended stepmother does not seem much averse to it! Can there be any mystery in all this?

Har. (aside, and without being seen). Ah! ah! my son is kissing the hand of his future stepmother, and she doesn't seem to mind it much! Could there be any hidden meaning in all this?

Eli. Here comes my father.

Eli. My dad is coming.

Har. The carriage is quite ready, and you can start when you like.

Har. The carriage is all set, and you can leave whenever you want.

Cle. Since you are not going, father, allow me to take care of them.

Cle. Since you're not going, Dad, let me take care of them.

Har. No, stop here; they can easily take care of themselves, and I want you.

Har. No, stop here; they can handle themselves just fine, and I want you.

SCENE III.——HARPAGON, CLÉANTE.

Har. Well, now, all consideration of stepmother aside, tell me what do you think of this lady?

Har. So, putting any thoughts about the stepmother aside, what do you think of this lady?

Cle. What I think of her?

Cle. What do I think of her?

Har. Yes, what do you think of her appearance, her figure, her beauty and intelligence?

Har. So, what do you think about her looks, her body, her beauty, and her smarts?

Cle. So, so.

Cle. Yeah, totally.

Har. But still?

Cle. To tell you the truth, I did not find her such as I expected. Her manner is that of a thorough coquette, her figure is rather awkward, her beauty very middling, and her intelligence of the meanest order. Do not suppose that I say this to make you dislike her; for if I must have a stepmother, I like the idea of this one as well as of any other.

Cle. Honestly, she wasn't what I expected at all. She acts like a total flirt, her figure is kind of awkward, her looks are pretty average, and she's not very smart. Don’t think I’m saying this to make you dislike her; if I have to have a stepmom, I’m okay with this one just as much as any other.

Har. You spoke to her just now, nevertheless….

Har. You just talked to her, but still….

Cle. I paid her several compliments in your name, but it was to please you.

Cle. I gave her a bunch of compliments in your name, but it was really to make you happy.

Har. So then you don't care for her?

Har. So you don't care about her?

Cle. Who? I? Not in the least.

Cle. Who? Me? Not at all.

Har. I am sorry for it, for that puts an end to a scheme which had occurred to me. Since I have seen her here, I have been thinking of my own age; and I feel that people would find fault with me for marrying so young a girl. This consideration had made me determine to abandon the project, and as I had demanded her in marriage, and had given her my promise, I would have given her to you if it were not for the dislike you have for her.

Har. I regret this because it puts a stop to an idea I had. Ever since I saw her here, I've been reflecting on my age, and I worry that people would criticize me for marrying such a young girl. This thought has led me to decide to drop the plan, and since I asked for her hand and made her a promise, I would have given her to you if it weren't for your dislike of her.

Cle. To me?

Cle. For me?

Har. To you.

Cle. In marriage?

Cle. In a relationship?

Har. In marriage.

Har. In a relationship.

Cle. It is true she is not at all to my taste; but, to please you, father, I will bring myself to marry her, if you please.

Cle. It's true she's not really my type; but to make you happy, dad, I will go ahead and marry her, if that's what you want.

Har. If I please! I am more reasonable than you think. I don't wish to compel you.

Har. If it makes you happy! I'm more reasonable than you realize. I don't want to force you.

Cle. Excuse me! I will make an attempt to love her.

Cle. Excuse me! I’m going to try to love her.

Har. No, no; a marriage cannot be happy where there is no love.

Har. No, no; a marriage can't be happy without love.

Cle. That, my father, will, perhaps, come by and by, and it is said that love is often the fruit of marriage.

Cle. That, my father, will probably happen eventually, and it’s said that love often comes after marriage.

Har. No, it is not right to risk it on the side of the man, and there are some troublesome things I don't care to run the chance of. If you had felt any inclination for her, you should have married her instead of me, but as it is, I will return to my first intention and marry her myself.

Har. No, it's not fair to take a chance on that guy, and there are some annoying risks I don’t want to deal with. If you really cared for her, you should have married her instead of me, but since that’s not the case, I'm going to stick to my original plan and marry her myself.

Cle. Well, father, since things are so, I had better be frank with you, and reveal our secret to you. The truth is that I have loved her ever since I saw her one day on the promenade. I intended to ask you today to let me marry her, and I was only deterred from it because you spoke of marrying her, and because I feared to displease you.

Cle. Well, Dad, since that's the case, I should just be honest with you and share our secret. The truth is, I’ve loved her ever since I saw her one day on the promenade. I planned to ask you today for your permission to marry her, but I hesitated because you mentioned marrying her yourself, and I was worried about upsetting you.

Har. Have you ever paid her any visits?

Har. Have you ever gone to see her?

Cle. Yes, father.

Sure thing, Dad.

Har. Many?

Cle. Yes; considering how long we have been acquainted.

Cle. Yeah; thinking about how long we've known each other.

Har. You were well received.

You were well received.

Cle. Very well, but without her knowing who I was; and that is why Marianne was so surprised when she saw me today.

Cle. That's fine, but without her knowing it was me; that's why Marianne was so surprised to see me today.

Har. Have you told her of your love, and of your intention of marrying her?

Har. Have you told her about your feelings and your plan to marry her?

Cle. Certainly, and I also spoke a little to the mother on the subject.

Cle. Sure, and I also mentioned it briefly to the mother.

Har. Did she kindly receive your proposal for her daughter?

Har. Did she accept your proposal for her daughter?

Cle. Yes, very kindly.

Sure, very nice.

Har. And does the daughter return your love?

Har. And does your daughter love you back?

Cle. If I can believe appearances, she is certainly well disposed towards me.

Cle. If appearances are anything to go by, she definitely seems to be favorably inclined towards me.

Har. (aside). Well! I am very glad to have found out this secret; it is the very thing I wanted to know. (To his son) Now, look here, my son, I tell you what. You will have, if you please, to get rid of your love for Marianne, to cease to pay your attentions to a person I intend for myself, and to marry very soon the wife I have chosen for you.

Har. (aside). Well! I’m really glad I figured out this secret; it’s exactly what I wanted to know. (To his son) Now, listen to me, son. You need to let go of your feelings for Marianne, stop pursuing someone I have my eye on, and get married soon to the woman I’ve chosen for you.

Cle. So, father, it is thus you deceive me! Very well, since things are come to such a pass, I openly declare to you that I shall not give up my love for Marianne. No! understand that henceforth there is nothing from which I shall shrink in order to dispute her with you; and if you have on your side the consent of the mother, perhaps I shall have some other resources left to aid me.

Cle. So, Dad, is this how you’re deceiving me? Fine, since it’s come to this, I’m telling you outright that I won’t give up my love for Marianne. No! Understand that from now on, I won’t back down from anything to fight for her against you; and if you have the mother’s approval on your side, maybe I’ll have some other ways to help me.

Har. What, rascal! You dare to trespass on my grounds?

Har. What, you little troublemaker! You think you can wander onto my property?

Cle. It is you who trespass on mine. I was the first.

Cle. You're the one invading my space. I was the first.

Har. Am I not your father, and do you not owe me respect?

Har. Aren't I your father, and don't you owe me respect?

Cle. There are things in which children are not called upon to pay deference to their fathers; and love is no respector of persons.

Cle. There are situations where children aren’t expected to show respect to their fathers; and love doesn’t play favorites.

Har. My stick will make you know me better.

Har. My stick will help you understand me better.

Cle. All your threatenings are nothing to me.

Cle. All your threats mean nothing to me.

Har. You will give up Marianne?

Har. Are you really going to give up Marianne?

Cle. Never!

Cle. No way!

Har. Bring me my stick. Quick, I say! my stick!

Har. Bring me my stick. Hurry, I said! My stick!

SCENE IV.——HARPAGON, CLÉANTE, MASTER JACQUES.

Jac. Hold! hold! Gentlemen, what does this mean? What are you thinking of?

Jac. Wait! Wait! Guys, what does this mean? What are you thinking?

Cle. I don't care a bit for it.

Cle. I don't care at all about it.

Jac. (to Cléante). Ah! Sir, gently.

Jac. (to Cléante). Ah! Sir, easy there.

Har. He dares to speak to me with such impudence as that!

Har. He has the nerve to talk to me with that kind of disrespect!

Jac. (to Harpagon). Ah! Sir, I beg of you.

Jac. (to Harpagon). Oh! Sir, I’m asking you, please.

Cle. I shall keep to it.

Cle. I will stick to it.

Jac. (to Cléante). What! to your father?

Jac. (to Cléante). What! To your dad?

Har. Let me do it.

Har. Let me handle it.

Jac. (to Harpagon). What! to your son? To me it's different.

Jac. (to Harpagon). What! To your son? It's different for me.

Har. I will make you judge between us, Master Jacques, so that you may see that I have right on my side.

Har. I'll let you decide between us, Master Jacques, so you can see that I'm in the right.

Jac. Willingly. (To Cléante) Go a little farther back.

Jac. Sure. (To Cléante) Go back a bit further.

Har. There is a young girl I love and want to marry, and the scoundrel has the impudence to love her also, and wants to marry her in spite of me.

Har. There's a girl I love and want to marry, and that jerk has the nerve to love her too, wanting to marry her despite me.

Jac. Oh! he is wrong.

Jac. Oh! he's mistaken.

Har. Is it not an abominable thing to see a son who does not shrink from becoming the rival of his father? And is it not his bounden duty to refrain from interfering with my love?

Har. Isn’t it a horrible thing to see a son who isn't afraid of challenging his father? And isn’t it his responsibility to avoid getting in the way of my love?

Jac. You are quite right; stop here, and let me go and speak to him.

Jac. You're absolutely right; let's pause here, and I'll go talk to him.

Cle. (to Master Jacques, who comes near him). Very well; if he wants to make you a judge between us, I have no objection. I care little who it is, and I don't mind referring our quarrel to you.

Cle. (to Master Jack, who comes near him). Alright; if he wants you to mediate between us, I'm fine with that. It doesn't really matter to me who it is, and I don't mind letting you decide our dispute.

Jac. You do me great honour.

Jac. You really honor me.

Cle. I am in love with a young girl who returns my affection, and who receives kindly the offer of my heart; but my father takes it into his head to disturb our love by asking her in marriage.

Cle. I’m in love with a young girl who loves me back and gladly accepts my heart; but my father has decided to interfere with our relationship by asking her to marry him.

Jac. He certainly is wrong.

Jac. He is definitely wrong.

Cle. Is it not shameful for a man of his age to think of marrying? I ask you if it is right for him to fall in love? and ought he not now to leave that to younger men?

Cle. Isn’t it embarrassing for a man his age to think about getting married? I ask you if it’s appropriate for him to fall in love, and shouldn’t he leave that to younger guys now?

Jac. You are quite right; he is not serious; let me speak a word or two to him. (To Harpagon) Really, your son is not so extravagant as you think, and is amenable to reason. He says that he is conscious of the respect he owes you, and that he only got angry in the heat of the moment. He will willingly submit to all you wish if you will only promise to treat him more kindly than you do, and will give him in marriage a person to his taste.

Jac. You're right; he's not serious. Let me have a quick word with him. (To Harpagon) Honestly, your son isn’t as extravagant as you think, and he's open to reason. He says he understands the respect he owes you and that he only got angry in the heat of the moment. He will gladly agree to whatever you want if you promise to treat him with more kindness and let him marry someone he actually likes.

Har. Ah! tell him, Master Jacques, that he will obtain everything from me on those terms, and that, except Marianne, I leave him free to choose for his wife whomsoever he pleases.

Har. Ah! Tell him, Master Jacques, that he can have anything he wants from me under those conditions, and that, apart from Marianne, I give him the freedom to choose anyone he likes as his wife.

Jac. Leave that to me. (To Cléante) Really, your father is not so unreasonable as you make him out to me; and he tells me that it is your violence which irritated him. He only objects to your way of doing things, and is quite ready to grant you all you want, provided you will use gentle means and will give him the deference, respect, and submission that a son owes to his father.

Jac. Just leave that to me. (To Cléante) Honestly, your father isn't as unreasonable as you're portraying him. He told me that it's your aggressive behavior that upset him. He just disagrees with your approach and is more than willing to give you everything you want, as long as you use a kinder method and show him the respect and submission a son should show his father.

Cle. Ah! Master Jacques, you can assure him that if he grants me Marianne, he will always find me the most submissive of men, and that I shall never do anything contrary to his pleasure.

Cle. Ah! Master Jacques, you can tell him that if he gives me Marianne, he will always find me the most obedient of men, and that I will never do anything against his wishes.

Jac. (to Harpagon). It's all right; he consents to what you say.

Jac. (to Harpagon). It's fine; he agrees with what you’re saying.

Har. Nothing could be better.

Jac. (to Cléante). It's all settled; he is satisfied with your promises.

Jac. (to Cléante). It's all agreed; he's happy with your promises.

Cle. Heaven be praised!

Cle. Thank goodness!

Jac. Gentlemen, you have nothing to do but to talk quietly over the matter together; you are agreed now, and yet you were on the point of quarrelling through want of understanding each other.

Jac. Gentlemen, all you need to do is discuss this quietly among yourselves; you’re on the same page now, yet you were about to argue due to a lack of understanding.

Cle. My poor Jacques, I shall be obliged to you all my life.

Cle. My dear Jacques, I will be thankful to you for life.

Jac. Don't mention it, Sir.

Jac. No problem, Sir.

Har. You have given me great pleasure, Master Jacques, and deserve a reward. (Harpagon feels in his pocket, Jacques holds out his hand, but Harpagon only pulls out his handkerchief, and says,) Go; I will remember it, I promise you.

Har. You've really pleased me, Master Jacques, and you deserve a reward. (Harpagon checks his pocket, Jacques extends his hand, but Harpagon only takes out his handkerchief and says,) Go; I’ll remember this, I promise you.

Jac. I thank you kindly, Sir.

Jac. Thank you very much, sir.

SCENE V.——HARPAGON, CLÉANTE.

Cle. I beg your pardon, father, for having been angry.

Cle. I'm sorry, Dad, for being angry.

Har. It is nothing.

It’s nothing.

Cle. I assure you that I feel very sorry about it.

Cle. I promise you that I feel really bad about it.

Har. I am very happy to see you reasonable again.

Har. I'm really glad to see you back to your senses.

Cle. How very kind of you so soon to forget my fault.

Cle. It's really nice of you to forget my mistake so quickly.

Har. One easily forgets the faults of children when they return to their duty.

Har. People often overlook the mistakes of kids when they get back to their responsibilities.

Cle. What! you are not angry with me for my extravagant behaviour?

Cle. What! You're not upset with me for my over-the-top behavior?

Har. By your submission and respectful conduct you compel me to forget my anger.

Har. Your willingness to submit and your respectful behavior make it impossible for me to hold onto my anger.

Cle. I assure you, father, I shall for ever keep in heart the remembrance of all your kindness.

Cle. I promise you, Dad, I will always remember all your kindness.

Har. And I promise you that, in future, you will obtain all you like from me.

Har. And I promise you that from now on, you will get everything you want from me.

Cle. Oh, father! I ask nothing more; it is sufficient for me that you give me Marianne.

Cle. Oh, Dad! I don't want anything else; it's enough for me that you give me Marianne.

Har. What?

Cle. I say, father, that I am only too thankful already for what you have done, and that when you give me Marianne, you give me everything.

Cle. I just want to say, Dad, that I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done, and when you give me Marianne, you’re giving me the world.

Har. Who talks of giving you Marianne?

Har. Who says they’re giving you Marianne?

Cle. You, father.

You, dad.

Har. I?

Cle. Yes.

Har. What! is it not you who promised to give her up?

Har. What! Didn't you promise to let her go?

Cle. I! give her up?

Har. Yes.

Yes.

Cle. Certainly not.

Cle. Definitely not.

Har. Did you not give up all pretensions to her?

Har. Didn't you give up all your hopes for her?

Cle. On the contrary, I am more determined than ever to have her.

Cle. Actually, I'm more determined than ever to be with her.

Har. What, scoundrel! again?

Har. What, scoundrel! Again?

Cle. Nothing can make me change my mind.

Har. Let me get at you again, wretch!

Har. Let me get to you again, you miserable person!

Cle. You can do as you please.

Cle. You can do whatever you want.

Har. I forbid you ever to come within my sight.

Har. I forbid you to ever come near me again.

Cle. As you like.

Cle. As you wish.

Har. I abandon you.

I leave you.

Cle. Abandon me.

Cle. Leave me.

Har. I disown you.

Cle. Disown me.

Disown me.

Har. I disinherit you.

I disinherit you.

Cle. As you will.

Sure thing.

Har. I give you my curse.

Har. I put a curse on you.

Cle. I want none of your gifts.

Cle. I don’t want any of your gifts.

SCENE VI.——CLÉANTE, LA FLÈCHE.

La Fl. (leaving the garden with a casket). Ah! Sir, you are just in the nick of time. Quick! follow me.

La Fl. (leaving the garden with a casket). Ah! Sir, you arrived just in time. Hurry! Follow me.

Cle. What is the matter?

Cle. What's the matter?

La Fl. Follow me, I say. We are saved.

La Fl. Come with me, I say. We're safe now.

Cle. How?

La Fl. Here is all you want.

La Fl. Here is everything you need.

Cle. What?

La Fl. I have watched for this all day.

La Fl. I've been watching for this all day.

Cle. What is it?

La Fl. Your father's treasure that I have got hold of.

La Fl. I've gotten a hold of your father's treasure.

Cle. How did you manage it?

Cle. How did you pull it off?

La Fl. I will tell you all about it. Let us be off. I can hear him calling out.

La Fl. I’ll share everything with you. Let’s go. I can hear him calling.

SCENE VII.——HARPAGON, from the garden, rushing in without his hat, and crying—

Thieves! thieves! assassins! murder! Justice, just heavens! I am undone; I am murdered; they have cut my throat; they have stolen my money! Who can it be? What has become of him? Where is he? Where is he hiding himself? What shall I do to find him? Where shall I run? Where shall I not run? Is he not here? Who is this? Stop! (To himself, taking hold of his own arm) Give me back my money, wretch…. Ah…! it is myself…. My mind is wandering, and I know not where I am, who I am, and what I am doing. Alas! my poor money! my poor money! my dearest friend, they have bereaved me of thee; and since thou art gone, I have lost my support, my consolation, and my joy. All is ended for me, and I have nothing more to do in the world! Without thee it is impossible for me to live. It is all over with me; I can bear it no longer. I am dying; I am dead; I am buried. Is there nobody who will call me from the dead, by restoring my dear money to me, or by telling me who has taken it? Ah! what is it you say? It is no one. Whoever has committed the deed must have watched carefully for his opportunity, and must have chosen the very moment when I was talking with my miscreant of a son. I must go. I will demand justice, and have the whole of my house put to the torture—my maids and my valets, my son, my daughter, and myself too. What a crowd of people are assembled here! Everyone seems to be my thief. I see no one who does not rouse suspicion in me. Ha! what are they speaking of there? Of him who stole my money? What noise is that up yonder? Is it my thief who is there? For pity's sake, if you know anything of my thief, I beseech you to tell me. Is he hiding there among you? They all look at me and laugh. We shall see that they all have a share in the robbery. Quick! magistrates, police, provosts, judges, racks, gibbets, and executioners. I will hang everybody, and if I do not find my money, I will hang myself afterwards.

Thieves! Thieves! Assassins! Murder! Oh, justice, heavens! I’m ruined; I’ve been murdered; they’ve cut my throat; they’ve stolen my money! Who could it be? What has happened to him? Where is he? Where is he hiding? What should I do to find him? Where should I run? Where shouldn’t I run? Is he not here? Who is this? Stop! (To himself, grabbing his own arm) Give me back my money, you wretch…. Ah…! it’s me…. My mind is slipping, and I don’t know where I am, who I am, or what I’m doing. Oh no! my poor money! my poor money! my dearest friend, they’ve taken you from me; and since you’re gone, I’ve lost my support, my comfort, and my joy. Everything is over for me, and I have nothing left to do in this world! Without you, I can’t live. It’s all over for me; I can’t take it anymore. I’m dying; I’m dead; I’m buried. Is there anyone who’ll call me back to life by giving me back my money or by telling me who took it? Ah! what do you say? It’s no one. Whoever did this must have been watching carefully for the right moment, and they must have chosen the exact minute when I was talking with my awful son. I have to go. I’ll demand justice, and I’ll put everyone in my house to the test—my maids and my servants, my son, my daughter, and myself too. What a crowd of people gathered here! Everyone seems like a thief to me. I see no one who doesn’t make me suspicious. Ha! what are they talking about over there? Is it about the one who stole my money? What’s that noise up there? Is it my thief? Please, if you know anything about my thief, I beg you to tell me. Is he hiding among you? They all look at me and laugh. I’ll make sure they all played a part in the robbery. Quick! magistrates, police, judges, torture, gallows, and executioners. I’ll hang everybody, and if I don’t find my money, I’ll hang myself afterward.

ACT V.

SCENE I.——HARPAGON, A POLICE OFFICER.

Off. Leave that to me. I know my business. Thank Heaven! this is not the first time I have been employed in finding out thieves; and I wish I had as many bags of a thousand francs as I have had people hanged.

Off. Leave that to me. I know what I’m doing. Thank goodness! this isn’t my first time working to catch thieves; I wish I had as many bags of a thousand francs as I’ve had people executed.

Har. Every magistrate must take this affair in hand; and if my money is not found, I shall call justice against justice itself.

Har. Every judge has to deal with this issue; and if my money isn't found, I will bring justice against justice itself.

Off. We must take all needful steps. You say there was in that casket…?

Off. We need to take all necessary actions. You mentioned there was in that casket…?

Har. Ten thousand crowns in cash.

Off. Ten thousand crowns!

Off. 10,000 crowns!

Har. Ten thousand crowns.

10,000 crowns.

Off. A considerable theft.

Off. A big theft.

Har. There is no punishment great enough for the enormity of the crime; and if it remain unpunished, the most sacred things are no longer secure.

Har. There isn't a punishment severe enough for the seriousness of the crime; and if it goes unpunished, even the most sacred things are no longer safe.

Off. In what coins was that sum?

Off. What coins made up that total?

Har. In good louis d'or and pistoles of full weight.

Har. In good gold coins and full-weight pistoles.

Off. Whom do you suspect of this robbery?

Off. Who do you think did this robbery?

Har. Everybody. I wish you to take into custody the whole town and suburbs.

Har. Everyone. I want you to take the entire town and its surrounding areas into custody.

Off. You must not, if you trust me, frighten anybody, but must use gentle means to collect evidence, in order afterwards to proceed with more rigour for the recovery of the sum which has been taken from you.

Off. If you trust me, you must not scare anyone, but instead use gentle methods to gather evidence so that you can later take stronger action to recover the money that has been taken from you.

SCENE II.——HARPAGON, THE POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES.

Jac. (at the end of the stage, turning back to the door by which he came in). I am coming back. Have his throat cut at once; have his feet singed; put him in boiling water, and hang him up to the ceiling.

Jac. (at the end of the stage, turning back to the door by which he came in). I’m coming back. Cut his throat right away; scorch his feet; put him in boiling water, and hang him from the ceiling.

Har. What! Him who has robbed me?

Har. What! The one who stole from me?

Jac. I was speaking of a sucking pig that your steward has just sent me; and I want to have it dressed for you after my own fancy.

Jac. I was talking about a piglet that your steward just sent me, and I want to have it prepared for you in my own style.

Har. This is no longer the question; and you have to speak of something else to this gentleman.

Har. That's not the issue anymore; you'll need to talk about something else with this guy.

Off. (to Jacques). Don't get frightened. I am not a man to cause any scandal, and matters will be carried on by gentle means.

Off. (to Jacques). Don't be scared. I'm not someone who creates a scene, and everything will be handled peacefully.

Jac. (to Harpagon). Is this gentleman coming to supper with you?

Jac. (to Harpagon). Is this guy joining you for dinner?

Off. You must, in this case, my good man, hide nothing from your master.

Off. In this situation, my good man, you must not hide anything from your boss.

Jac. Indeed, Sir, I will show you all I know, and will treat you in the best manner I possibly can.

Jac. Sure, Sir, I’ll share everything I know and treat you in the best way I can.

Off. That's not the question.

Off. That's not the issue.

Jac. If I do not give as good fare as I should like, it is the fault of your steward, who has clipped my wings with the scissors of his economy.

Jac. If I don't provide as good a feast as I'd like, it's your steward's fault, who has tied my hands with his strict budget.

Har. Rascal! We have other matters to talk about than your supper; and I want you to tell me what has become of the money which has been stolen from me.

Har. Rascal! We have other things to discuss besides your dinner, and I want you to tell me what happened to the money that was stolen from me.

Jac. Some money has been stolen from you?

Jac. Has some of your money been stolen?

Har. Yes, you rascal! And I'll have you hanged if you don't give it me back again.

Har. Yeah, you trickster! And I'll have you locked up if you don't give it back to me.

Off. (to Harpagon). Pray, don't be hard upon him. I see by his looks that he is an honest fellow, and that he will tell you all you want to know without going to prison. Yes, my friend, if you confess, no harm shall come to you, and you shall be well rewarded by your master. Some money has been stolen from him, and it is not possible that you know nothing about it.

Off. (to Harpagon). Please, don’t be too tough on him. I can tell by his expression that he’s a decent guy, and he’ll give you all the information you need without being locked up. Yes, my friend, if you come clean, you won’t face any consequences, and your boss will reward you well. Some money has been taken from him, and there’s no way you don’t know anything about it.

Jac. (aside). The very thing I wanted in order to be revenged of our steward. Ever since he came here, he has been the favourite, and his advice is the only one listened to. Moreover, I have forgotten neither the cudgelling of to-day nor …

Jac. (aside). The exact thing I needed to get back at our steward. Ever since he arrived, he’s been the favorite, and his opinions are the only ones anyone pays attention to. Besides, I haven’t forgotten the beating I took today or …

Har. What are you muttering about there?

Har. What are you mumbling about over there?

Off. (to Harpagon). Leave him alone. He is preparing himself to satisfy you; I told you that he was an honest fellow.

Off. (to Harpagon). Leave him be. He’s getting ready to please you; I told you he’s a good guy.

Jac. Sir, since you want me to tell you what I know, I believe it is your steward who has done this.

Jac. Sir, since you want me to tell you what I know, I think it’s your steward who has done this.

Har. Valère?

Har Valère?

Jac. Yes.

Jac. Yup.

Har. He who seemed so faithful to me!

Har. He who seemed so loyal to me!

Jac. Himself. I believe that it is he who has robbed you.

Jac. It’s him. I think he’s the one who stole from you.

Har. And what makes you believe it?

Har. And what makes you think that?

Jac. What makes me believe it?

Jac. What convinces me of it?

Har. Yes.

Yes.

Jac. I believe it … because I believe it.

Jac. I believe it... because I believe it.

Off. But you must tell us the proofs you have.

Off. But you need to share the evidence you have.

Har. Did you see him hanging about the place where I had put my money?

Har. Did you see him loitering around the spot where I had put my money?

Jac. Yes, indeed. Where was your money?

Jac. Yes, for sure. Where was your money?

Har. In the garden.

Jac. Exactly; I saw him loitering about in the garden; and in what was your money?

Jac. That's right; I saw him hanging around in the garden; and what was your money?

Har. In a casket.

Har. In a coffin.

Jac. The very thing. I saw him with a casket.

Jac. The exact thing. I saw him with a coffin.

Har. And this casket, what was it like? I shall soon see if it is mine.

Har. What was this casket like? I’ll find out soon if it’s mine.

Jac. What it was like?

Jac. What was it like?

Har. Yes.

Yes.

Jac. It was like … like a casket.

Jac. It felt like … like a coffin.

Off. Of course. But describe it a little, to see if it is the same.

Off. Of course. But explain it a bit so we can tell if it's the same.

Jac. It was a large casket.

Jac. It was a big casket.

Har. The one taken from me is a small one.

Har. The one that was taken from me is a small one.

Jac. Yes, small if you look at it in that way; but I call it large because of what it contains.

Jac. Sure, it seems small if you look at it like that; but I see it as big because of what’s inside.

Har. And what colour was it?

Har. And what color was it?

Jac. What colour?

Jac. What color?

Off. Yes.

Jac. Of a colour … of a certain colour…. Can't you help me to find the word?

Jac. Of a color ... of a specific color.... Can’t you help me find the word?

Har. Ugh!

Jac. Red; isn't it?

Jac. Red, right?

Har. No, grey.

No, grey.

Jac. Ha! yes, reddish-grey! That's what I meant.

Jac. Ha! Yes, reddish-gray! That's what I was talking about.

Har. There is no doubt about it, it's my casket for certain. Write down his evidence, Sir! Heavens! whom can we trust after that? We must never swear to anything, and I believe now that I might rob my own self.

Har. There's no question about it, that's definitely my casket. Write down his evidence, Sir! Wow! Who can we trust after that? We should never swear to anything, and I truly believe I could deceive myself.

Jac. (to Harpagon). There he is coming back, Sir; I beg of you not to go and tell him that it was I who let it all out, Sir.

Jac. (to Harpagon). Here he comes again, Sir; please don’t tell him it was me who spilled the beans, Sir.

SCENE III.——HARPAGON, THE POLICE OFFICER, VALÈRE, MASTER JACQUES.

Har. Come, come near, and confess the most abominable action, the most horrible crime, that was ever committed.

Har. Come, come closer, and admit the most terrible thing you’ve ever done, the worst crime that’s ever been committed.

Val. What do you want, Sir?

Val. What do you need, Sir?

Har. What, wretch! you do not blush for shame after such a crime?

Har. What’s wrong with you? Don’t you feel any shame after committing such a crime?

Val. Of what crime do you speak?

Val. What crime are you talking about?

Har. Of what crime I speak? Base villain, as if you did not know what I mean! It is in vain for you to try to hide it; the thing is discovered, and I have just heard all the particulars. How could you thus abuse my kindness, introduce yourself on purpose into my house to betray me, and to play upon me such an abominable trick?

Har. What crime am I talking about? You scoundrel, as if you weren’t aware of what I mean! It's pointless for you to try to cover it up; the truth is out, and I’ve just learned all the details. How could you take advantage of my kindness, deliberately come into my house to betray me, and play such a despicable trick on me?

Val. Sir, since everything is known to you, I will neither deny what I have done nor will I try to palliate it.

Val. Sir, since you know everything, I won’t deny what I did, nor will I try to minimize it.

Jac. (aside). Oh! oh! Have I guessed the truth?

Jac. (aside). Oh! oh! Did I just figure out the truth?

Val. I intended to speak to you about it, and I was watching for a favourable opportunity; but, as this is no longer possible, I beg of you not to be angry, and to hear my motives.

Val. I planned to talk to you about this, and I was waiting for the right moment; but since that's not possible anymore, please don't be mad and listen to my reasons.

Har. And what fine motives can you possibly give me, infamous thief?

Har. And what good reasons can you possibly give me, notorious thief?

Val. Ah! Sir, I do not deserve these names. I am guilty towards you, it is true; but, after all, my fault is pardonable.

Val. Ah! Sir, I don’t deserve these names. I am guilty towards you, it’s true; but, after all, my mistake is understandable.

Har. How pardonable? A premeditated trick, and such an assassination as this!

Har. How forgivable? A planned scheme, and such a murder as this!

Val. I beseech you not to be so angry with me. When you have heard all I have to say, you will see that the harm is not so great as you make it out to be.

Val. I urge you not to be so upset with me. Once you hear everything I have to say, you'll realize that the damage isn't as serious as you think.

Har. The harm not so great as I make it out to be! What! my heart's blood, scoundrel!

Har. The damage isn’t nearly as bad as I’m making it sound! What! My heart's blood, you jerk!

Val. Your blood, Sir, has not fallen into bad hands. My rank is high enough not to disgrace it, and there is nothing in all this for which reparation cannot be made.

Val. Your blood, Sir, hasn’t fallen into the wrong hands. My status is high enough to honor it, and there’s nothing here that can’t be fixed.

Har. It is, indeed, my intention that you should restore what you have taken from me.

Har. I really intend for you to give back what you took from me.

Val. Your honour, Sir, shall be fully satisfied.

Val. Your honor, Sir, will be completely satisfied.

Har. Honour is not the question in all this. But tell me what made you commit such a deed?

Har. Honor isn't the issue here. But please tell me what led you to do something like this?

Val. Alas! do you ask it?

Val. Oh no! Are you really asking that?

Har. Yes, I should rather think that I do.

Har. Yeah, I definitely think that I do.

Val. A god, Sir, who carries with him his excuses for all he makes people do: Love.

Val. A god, Sir, who brings along his excuses for everything he makes people do: Love.

Har. Love?

Val. Yes.

Har. Fine love that! fine love, indeed! the love of my gold!

Har. Great love that! Great love, for sure! the love of my wealth!

Val. No, Sir, it is not your wealth that has tempted me, it is not that which has dazzled me; and I swear never to pretend to any of your possessions, provided you leave me what I have.

Val. No, Sir, it isn’t your wealth that has tempted me; it’s not that which has dazzled me. I promise to never pretend to any of your possessions, as long as you leave me what I have.

Har. In the name of all the devils, no, I shall not leave it to you. But did anyone ever meet with such villainy! He wishes to keep what he has robbed me of!

Har. In the name of all the devils, no, I'm not going to leave it to you. But has anyone ever encountered such evil! He wants to keep what he has taken from me!

Val. Do you call that a robbery?

Val. Is that what you call a robbery?

Har. If I call that a robbery? A treasure like that!

Val. I readily acknowledge that it is a treasure, and the most precious one you have. But it will not be losing it to leave it to me. I ask you on my knees to leave in my possession this treasure so full of charms; and if you do right, you will grant it to me.

Val. I fully recognize that it’s a treasure, and the most valuable one you own. But you won’t be losing anything by giving it to me. I’m begging you to let me keep this treasure that's so enchanting; and if you do the right thing, you will give it to me.

Har. I will do nothing of the kind. What in the world are you driving at?

Har. I'm not going to do that. What are you getting at?

Val. We have pledged our faith to each other, and have taken an oath never to forsake one another.

Val. We have committed ourselves to each other and have promised never to abandon one another.

Har. The oath is admirable, and the promise strange enough!

Har. The oath is impressive, and the promise is quite unusual!

Val. Yes, we are engaged to each other for ever.

Val. Yes, we’re committed to each other for life.

Har. I know pretty well how to disengage you, I assure you of that.

Har. I know exactly how to disconnect you, I promise you that.

Val. Nothing but death can separate us.

Val. Nothing but death can tear us apart.

Har. You must be devilishly bewitched by my money.

Har. You must be completely captivated by my wealth.

Val. I have told you already, Sir, that it is not self-interest which has prompted me to what I have done. It was not that which prompted my heart; a nobler motive inspired me.

Val. I've already told you, Sir, that it’s not self-interest that drove me to act as I did. It wasn't that which moved my heart; a nobler motive inspired me.

Har. We shall hear presently that it is out of Christian charity that he covets my money! But I will put a stop to all this, and justice, impudent rascal, will soon give me satisfaction.

Har. We'll soon hear that he wants my money out of Christian charity! But I’m going to put an end to all this, and justice, you shameless scoundrel, will soon make things right for me.

Val. You will do as you please, and I am ready to suffer all the violence you care to inflict upon me, but I beg of you to believe, at least, that if there is any harm done, I am the only one guilty, and that your daughter has done nothing wrong in all this.

Val. You can do whatever you want, and I'm prepared to endure all the pain you want to throw my way, but I ask you to at least understand that if any harm comes from this, I'm the only one at fault, and your daughter hasn't done anything wrong in all of this.

Har. I should think not! It would be strange, indeed, if my daughter had a share in this crime. But I will have that treasure back again, and you must confess to what place you have carried it off. ⁶

Har. I certainly don’t think so! It would be really odd if my daughter were involved in this crime. But I'm getting that treasure back, and you need to admit where you've taken it. ⁶

Val. I have not carried it off, and it is still in your house.

Val. I haven't taken it, and it's still in your house.

Har. (aside). O my beloved casket! (To Valère) My treasure has not left my house?

Har. (aside). Oh my dear box! (To Valer) My treasure hasn't left my home?

Val. No, Sir.

Val. No, sir.

Har. Well, then, tell me, have you taken any liberties with…?

Har. So, tell me, have you done anything unusual with…?

Val. Ah! Sir, you wrong us both; the flame with which I burn is too pure, too full of respect.

Val. Ah! Sir, you're mistaken about both of us; the passion I feel is too genuine, too filled with respect.

Har. (aside). He burns for my casket!

Har. (aside). He really wants my coffin!

Val. I had rather die than show the least offensive thought: I found too much modesty and too much purity for that.

Val. I’d rather die than reveal even the slightest offensive thought: I was too modest and too pure for that.

Har. (aside). My cash-box modest!

Har. (aside). My wallet's modest!

Val. All my desires were limited to the pleasures of sight, and nothing criminal has profaned the passion those fair eyes have inspired me with.

Val. All my desires were focused on visual pleasures, and nothing wrong has tainted the passion those beautiful eyes have sparked in me.

Har. (aside). The fair eyes of my cash-box! He speaks of it as a lover does of his mistress.

Har. (aside). The beautiful eyes of my cash box! He talks about it like a lover talks about his girlfriend.

Val. Dame Claude knows the whole truth, and she can bear witness to it.

Val. Lady Claude knows the whole truth, and she can testify to it.

Har. Hallo! my servant is an accomplice in this affair?

Har. Hello! Is my servant involved in this situation?

Val. Yes, Sir, she was a witness to our engagement; and it was after being sure of the innocence of my love that she helped me to persuade your daughter to engage herself to me.

Val. Yes, Sir, she witnessed our engagement; and after being certain of my love's innocence, she helped me convince your daughter to agree to marry me.

Har. Ah! (Aside) Has the fear of justice made him lose his senses? (To Valère) What rubbish are you talking about my daughter?

Har. Ah! (Aside) Has the fear of getting caught made him lose his mind? (To Valerie) What nonsense are you saying about my daughter?

Val. I say, Sir, that I found it most difficult to make her modesty consent to what my love asked of her.

Val. I say, Sir, that I found it really hard to get her modesty to agree to what my love wanted from her.

Har. The modesty of whom?

Har. Whose modesty?

Val. Of your daughter; and it was only yesterday that she could make up her mind to sign our mutual promise of marriage.

Val. About your daughter; and it was only yesterday that she finally decided to sign our mutual promise of marriage.

Har. My daughter has signed a promise of marriage?

Har. My daughter has agreed to get married?

Val. Yes, Sir, and I have also signed.

Val. Yes, Sir, I've signed too.

Har. O heavens! another misfortune!

Oh no! Another misfortune!

Jac. (to the Officer). Write, Sir, write.

Jac. (to the Officer). Please, sir, write.

Har. Aggravation of misery! Excess of despair! (To the Officer) Sir, discharge your duty, and draw me up an indictment against him as a thief and a suborner.

Har. This is increasing my misery! Too much despair! (To the Officer) Sir, do your job and file an indictment against him for being a thief and a conspirator.

Jac. As a thief and a suborner.

Jac. As a thief and a corruptor.

Val. These are names which I do not deserve, and when you know who I am …

Val. These are names I don’t deserve, and once you find out who I am…

SCENE IV.——HARPAGON, ÉLISE, MARIANNE, VALÈRE, FROSINE, MASTER JACQUES, THE POLICE OFFICER.

Har. Ah! guilty daughter! unworthy of a father like me! is it thus that you put into practice the lessons I have given you? You give your love to an infamous thief, and engage yourself to him without my consent! But you shall both be disappointed. (To Élise) Four strong walls will answer for your conduct in the future; (to Valère) and good gallows, impudent thief, shall do me justice for your audacity.

Har. Ah! Guilty daughter! Unworthy of a father like me! Is this how you apply the lessons I've taught you? You give your love to a notorious thief and commit yourself to him without my approval! But you both will be disappointed. (To Élise) Four solid walls will account for your behavior in the future; (to Valerie) and a good gallows, you audacious thief, will serve justice for your boldness.

Val. Your anger will be no judge in this affair, and I shall at least have a hearing before I am condemned.

Val. Your anger won’t determine anything in this matter, and I at least want to be heard before I'm judged.

Har. I was wrong to say gallows; you shall be broken alive on the wheel.

Har. I was wrong to say gallows; you will be broken alive on the wheel.

Eli. (kneeling to her father). Ah! my father, be more merciful, I beseech you, and do not let your paternal authority drive matters to extremes. Do not suffer yourself to be carried away by the first outburst of your anger, but give yourself time to consider what you do. Take the trouble of inquiring about him whose conduct has offended you. He is not what you imagine, and you will think it less strange that I should have given myself to him, when you know that without him you would long ago have lost me for ever. Yes, father, it is he who saved me from the great danger I ran in the waters, and to whom you owe the life of that very daughter who …

Eli. (kneeling to her father). Oh, my father, please be more understanding. I ask you not to let your authority push things to the breaking point. Don't let your anger take over right away; give yourself a moment to think about your actions. Take the time to learn about the person whose actions upset you. He isn't what you believe, and you'll find it less surprising that I chose him when you realize that, without him, you would have lost me for good long ago. Yes, father, it was he who saved me from the serious danger I faced in the water, and you owe the life of your daughter to him…

Har. All this is nothing; and it would have been much better for me if he had suffered you to be drowned rather than do what he has done.

Har. All of this is meaningless; it would have been much better for me if he had let you drown instead of doing what he has done.

Eli. My father, I beseech you, in the name of paternal love, grant me …

Eli. Dad, I’m begging you, for the sake of our love as father and son, please give me …

Har. No, no. I will hear nothing, and justice must have its course.

Har. No, no. I won't listen to anything, and justice needs to take its course.

Jac. (aside). You shall pay me for the blows you gave me.

Jac. (aside). You’re going to pay me back for the hits you gave me.

Fro. What a perplexing state of affairs!

Fro. What a confusing situation!

SCENE V.——ANSELME, HARPAGON, ÉLISE, MARIANNE, FROSINE, VALÈRE, THE POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES.

Ans. What can have happened, Mr. Harpagon? You are quite upset.

Answer. What happened, Mr. Harpagon? You seem really upset.

Har. Ah, Mr. Anselme, you see in me the most unfortunate of men; and you can never imagine what vexation and disorder is connected with the contract you have come to sign! I am attacked in my property; I am attacked in my honour; and you see there a scoundrel and a wretch who has violated the most sacred rights, who has introduced himself into my house as a servant in order to steal my money, and seduce my daughter.

Har. Ah, Mr. Anselme, you see me as the most unfortunate man; and you can’t even imagine the frustration and chaos tied to the contract you're about to sign! My property is under attack; my honor is under attack. And over there stands a crook and a scoundrel who has violated the most sacred rights, who has pretended to be a servant in my home only to steal my money and seduce my daughter.

Val. Who ever thought of your money about which you rave?

Val. Who ever thought about your money that you keep bragging about?

Har. Yes; they have given each other a promise of marriage. This insult concerns you, Mr. Anselme; and it is you who ought to be plaintiff against him, and who at your own expense ought to prosecute him to the utmost, in order to be revenged.

Har. Yes; they’ve made a promise to get married. This insult is directed at you, Mr. Anselme; you should be the one to take legal action against him, and you should pursue it to the fullest extent, in order to get your revenge.

Ans. It is not my intention to force anybody to marry me, and to lay claim to a heart which has already bestowed itself; but as far as your interests are concerned, I am ready to espouse them as if they were my own.

Answer. I don’t want to pressure anyone into marrying me or to claim a heart that’s already given itself to someone else; however, regarding your interests, I’m willing to support them as if they were my own.

Har. This is the gentleman, an honest commissary, who has promised that he will omit nothing of what concerns the duties of his office. (To the Officer, showing Valère) Charge him, Sir, as he ought to be, and make matters very criminal.

Har. This is the gentleman, a trustworthy officer, who has promised that he will include everything related to his responsibilities. (To the Police officer, showing Valer) Take him in, Sir, as he should be, and make the situation very serious.

Val. I do not see what crime they can make of my passion for your daughter, nor the punishment you think I ought to be condemned to for our engagement; when it is known who I am …

Val. I don't understand what crime you think my love for your daughter is, or what punishment you believe I deserve for our engagement; once people know who I am …

Har. I don't care a pin for all those stories, and the world is full, nowadays, of those pretenders to nobility, of those impostors, who take advantage of their obscurity and deck themselves out insolently with the first illustrious name that comes into their head.

Har. I don't care at all about those stories, and these days, the world is full of people pretending to be noble, those fakes who exploit their anonymity and shamelessly flaunt the first famous name that pops into their mind.

Val. Know that I am too upright to adorn myself with a name which is not mine, and that all Naples can bear testimony to my birth!

Val. You should know that I’m too honest to take a name that isn't mine, and that everyone in Naples can confirm my birth!

Ans. Softly! Take care of what you are about to say. You speak before a man to whom all Naples is known, and who can soon see if your story is true.

Answer. Be careful with what you’re about to say. You’re speaking to a man who knows all of Naples and can quickly tell if your story is real.

Val. (proudly putting on his hat). I am not the man to fear anything; and if all Naples is known to you, you know who was Don Thomas d'Alburci.

Val. (proudly putting on his hat). I'm not someone who fears anything; and if you know all about Naples, then you know who Don Thomas d'Alburci was.

Ans. Certainly; I know who he is, and few people know him better than I do.

Answer. Of course; I know who he is, and not many people know him better than I do.

Har. I care neither for Don Thomas nor Don Martin. (Seeing two candles burning, he blows one out.)

Har. I don't care about Don Thomas or Don Martin. (Seeing two candles burning, he blows one out.)

Ans. Have patience and let him speak; we shall soon know what he has to say of him.

Answer. Be patient and let him talk; we’ll soon find out what he has to say about himself.

Val. That it is to him that I owe my birth.

Val. I owe my birth to him.

Ans. To him?

Ans. For him?

Val. Yes.

Ans. Nonsense; you are laughing. Try and make out a more likely story, and don't pretend to shelter yourself under such a piece of imposture.

Answer. That's ridiculous; you’re just laughing. Come up with a more believable story, and don’t act like you can hide behind such a fake excuse.

Val. Consider your words better before you speak; it is no imposture, and I say nothing here that I cannot prove.

Val. Think carefully about what you say before you speak; it's not a lie, and I'm not saying anything here that I can't back up.

Ans. What! You dare to call yourself the son of Don Thomas d'Alburci?

Answer. What! You actually call yourself the son of Don Thomas d'Alburci?

Val. Yes, I dare to do so; and I am ready to maintain the truth against anyone, who ever he may be.

Val. Yes, I’m willing to do that; and I’m ready to stand up for the truth against anyone, no matter who they are.

Ans. This audacity is marvellous. Learn to your confusion that it is now at least sixteen years ago since the man of whom you speak died in a shipwreck at sea with his wife and children, when he was trying to save their lives from the cruel persecutions which accompanied the troubles at Naples, and which caused the banishment of several noble families.

Answer. This boldness is amazing. To your surprise, it’s been at least sixteen years since the man you’re talking about died in a shipwreck at sea with his wife and kids while trying to save their lives from the harsh persecution that came with the troubles in Naples, which led to the exile of several noble families.

Val. Yes; but learn to your confusion that his son, seven years of age, was, with a servant, saved from the wreck by a Spanish vessel, and that this son is he who now speaks to you. Learn that the captain of that ship, touched with compassion at my misfortune, loved me; that he had me brought up as his own son, and that the profession of arms has been my occupation ever since I was fit for it; that lately I heard that my father is not dead, as I thought he was; that, passing this way to go and find him out, an accident, arranged by heaven, brought to my sight the charming Élise; that the sight of her made me a slave to her beauty, and that the violence of my love and the harshness of her father made me take the resolution to come into his house disguised as a servant, and to send some one else to look after my parents.

Val. Yes; but to your surprise, learn that his son, who is seven years old, was saved from the wreck by a Spanish ship, along with a servant, and that this son is the one speaking to you now. Know that the captain of that ship, moved by compassion for my situation, loved me; he raised me as his own son, and since I was old enough, I've been pursuing a career in the military. Recently, I discovered that my father is not actually dead, as I had believed; while traveling this way to find him, a twist of fate brought me face to face with the beautiful Élise; the moment I saw her, I was captivated by her beauty, and the intensity of my love, combined with her father's strictness, led me to decide to enter his house disguised as a servant while sending someone else to search for my parents.

Ans. But what other proofs have you besides your own words that all this is not a fable based by you upon truth.

Answer. But what other evidence do you have besides your own words that this isn’t just a story you’ve made up based on some truth?

Val. What proofs? The captain of the Spanish vessel; a ruby seal which belonged to my father; an agate bracelet which my mother put upon my arm; and old Pedro, that servant who was saved with me from the wreck.

Val. What evidence? The captain of the Spanish ship; a ruby seal that belonged to my father; an agate bracelet that my mother put on my arm; and old Pedro, the servant who survived the shipwreck with me.

Mar. Alas! I can answer here for what you have said; that you do not deceive us; and all you say clearly tells me that you are my brother.

Mar. Unfortunately! I can confirm what you've said; that you aren't misleading us; and everything you say clearly shows me that you are my brother.

Val. You my sister!

Val. You're my sister!

Mar. Yes, my heart was touched as soon as you began to speak; and our mother, who will be delighted at seeing you, often told me of the misfortunes of our family. Heaven spared us also in that dreadful wreck; but our life was spared at the cost of our liberty, for my mother and myself were taken up by pirates from the wreck of our vessel. After ten years of slavery a lucky event gave us back to liberty, and we returned to Naples, where we found all our property sold, and could hear no news of our father. We embarked for Genoa, where my mother went to gather what remained of a family estate which had been much disputed. Leaving her unjust relatives, she came here, where she has lived but a weary life.

Mar. Yes, my heart was moved as soon as you started to speak; and our mother, who will be thrilled to see you, often told me about our family's misfortunes. Thankfully, we were spared in that terrible shipwreck; but our lives were saved at the cost of our freedom, as my mother and I were captured by pirates after our ship went down. After ten years of slavery, a fortunate event restored our freedom, and we returned to Naples, only to find all our property sold and no news about our father. We set sail for Genoa, where my mother went to reclaim whatever was left of a family estate that had been heavily contested. After leaving her unfair relatives behind, she came here, where she has lived a very difficult life.

Ans. O heaven! how wonderful are thy doings, and how true it is that it only belongs to thee to work miracles! Come to my arms, my children, and share the joy of your happy father!

Ans. Oh heaven! How amazing are your actions, and how true it is that only you can perform miracles! Come to me, my children, and share in the joy of your happy father!

Val. You are our father?

Val. Are you our dad?

Mar. It was for you that my mother wept?

Mar. Was it for you that my mom cried?

Ans. Yes, my daughter; yes, my son; I am Don Thomas d'Alburci, whom heaven saved from the waves, with all the money he had with him, and who, after sixteen years, believing you all dead, was preparing, after long journeys, to seek the consolations of a new family in marrying a gentle and virtuous woman. The little security there was for my life in Naples has made me abandon the idea of returning there, and having found the means of selling what I had, I settled here under the name of Anselme. I wished to forget the sorrows of a name associated with so many and great troubles.

Answer. Yes, my daughter; yes, my son; I am Don Thomas d'Alburci, who was saved from the waves by heaven, along with all the money I had at the time. After sixteen years, thinking you all were dead, I was getting ready, after a long journey, to find comfort in a new family by marrying a kind and virtuous woman. The little safety I had in Naples made me give up the idea of going back, and having found a way to sell what I owned, I settled here under the name of Anselme. I wanted to leave behind the pain connected with a name linked to so many great troubles.

Har. (to Anselme). He is your son?

Har. (to Anselm). Is he your son?

Ans. Yes.

Ans. Yep.

Har. That being so, I make you responsible for the ten thousand crowns that he has stolen from me.

Har. With that in mind, I hold you accountable for the ten thousand crowns he has taken from me.

Ans. He steal anything from you!

Answer. He'll steal anything from you!

Har. Yes.

Yes.

Val. Who said so?

Val. Who said that?

Har. Master Jacques.

Val. (to Master Jacques). You say that?

Val. (to Master Jack). Did you say that?

Jac. You see that I am not saying anything.

Jac. You can see that I'm not saying anything.

Har. He certainly did. There is the officer who has received his deposition.

Har. He really did. There's the officer who got his statement.

Val. Can you really believe me capable of such a base action?

Val. Can you really believe I would do something so low?

Har. Capable or not capable, I must find my money.

Har. Whether I'm able to or not, I have to find my money.

SCENE VI.——HARPAGON, ANSELME, ÉLISE, MARIANNE, CLÉANTE, VALÈRE, FROSINE, THE POLICE OFFICER, MASTER JACQUES, LA FLÈCHE.

Cle. Do not grieve for your money, father, and accuse any one. I have news of it, and I come here to tell you that if you consent to let me marry Marianne, your money will be given back to you.

Cle. Don't worry about your money, Dad, and don't blame anyone. I have news about it, and I'm here to tell you that if you agree to let me marry Marianne, you'll get your money back.

Har. Where is it?

Har. Where is that?

Cle. Do not trouble yourself about that. It is in a safe place, and I answer for it; everything depends on your resolve. It is for you to decide, and you have the choice either of losing Marianne or your cash-box.

Cle. Don't worry about that. It's in a safe spot, and I can assure you; everything relies on your determination. It's up to you to choose, and you can either lose Marianne or your cash box.

Har. Has nothing been taken out?

Har. Is anything missing?

Cle. Nothing at all. Is it your intention to agree to this marriage, and to join your consent to that of her mother, who leaves her at liberty to do as she likes?

Cle. Absolutely nothing. Do you plan to go along with this marriage and add your agreement to her mother's, who is giving her the freedom to make her own choice?

Mar. (to Cléante). But you do not know that this consent is no longer sufficient, and that heaven has given me back a brother (showing Valère), at the same time that it has given me back a father (showing Anselme); and you have now to obtain me from him.

Mar. (to Cléante). But you don't realize that this agreement is no longer enough, and that heaven has returned a brother to me (showing Valerie), just as it has given me back a father (showing Anselm); and now you need to get my approval from him.

Ans. Heaven, my dear children, has not restored you to me that I might oppose your wishes. Mr. Harpagon, you must be aware that the choice of a young girl is more likely to fall upon the son than upon the father. Come, now, do not force people to say to you what is unnecessary, and consent, as I do, to this double marriage.

Answer. Heaven, my dear children, hasn’t brought you back to me so I can go against what you want. Mr. Harpagon, you must realize that a young woman is more likely to choose the son rather than the father. Come on, don’t make people say things they don’t need to, and agree, like I do, to this double marriage.

Har. In order for me to be well advised, I must see my casket.

Har. To get good advice, I need to see my casket.

Cle. You shall see it safe and sound.

Cle. You'll see it safe and sound.

Har. I have no money to give my children in marriage.

Har. I have no money to give my kids for their weddings.

Ans. Never mind, I have some; do not let this trouble you.

Answer. Don't worry, I have some; you don't need to be concerned about this.

Har. Do you take upon yourself to defray the expenses of these two weddings?

Har. Are you taking on the costs of these two weddings?

Ans. Yes, I will take this responsibility upon myself. Are you satisfied?

Answer. Yes, I will take on this responsibility. Are you happy with that?

Har. Yes, provided you order me a new suit of clothes for the wedding.

Har. Sure, as long as you get me a new suit for the wedding.

Ans. Agreed! Let us go and enjoy the blessings this happy day brings us.

Answer. Absolutely! Let’s go and celebrate the good things this joyful day brings us.

Off. Stop, Sirs, stop; softly, if you please. Who is to pay me for my writing?

Off. Hold on, gentlemen, hold on; gently, if you don't mind. Who's going to compensate me for my writing?

Har. We have nothing to do with your writing.

Off. Indeed! and yet I do not pretend to have done it for nothing.

Off. Absolutely! And I’m not claiming I did it for no reason.

Har. (showing Master Jacques). There is a fellow you can hang in payment!

Har. (showing Master Jake). There's someone you can hang as payment!

Jac. Alas! what is one to do? I receive a good cudgelling for telling the truth, and now they would hang me for lying.

Jac. Oh no! What am I supposed to do? I get a beating for being honest, and now they want to hang me for lying.

Ans. Mr. Harpagon, you must forgive him this piece of imposture.

Ans. Mr. Harpagon, please forgive him for this little deception.

Har. You will pay the officer then?

Har. So, are you going to pay the officer now?

Ans. Let it be so. Let us go quickly, my children, to share our joy with your mother!

Answer. Alright then. Let's hurry, kids, and share our happiness with your mom!

Har. And I to see my dear casket

Har. And I'm here to see my dear casket.

THE END

FOOTNOTES

1. An old comic pastoral.

An old comic story.

2. The real hero in Rabelais' 'Pantagruel.'

2. The true hero in Rabelais' 'Pantagruel.'

3. Frosine professes a knowledge of palmistry.

3. Frosine claims to know about palm reading.

4. Old enemies. The Turks took Candia from the Venetians in 1669, after a war of twenty years.

4. Old enemies. The Turks captured Candia from the Venetians in 1669, following a twenty-year war.

5. Molière makes use even of his own infirmities. Compare act i. scene iii. This cough killed him at last.

5. Molière even used his own weaknesses. Compare act i. scene iii. This cough eventually led to his death.

6. A good deal of the mystification is lost in the translation through the necessity of occasionally putting it for casket, and she for Élise.

6. A lot of the confusion gets lost in translation because we sometimes have to use it instead of casket, and she instead of Élise.

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