This is a modern-English version of The True Story of My Life: A Sketch, originally written by Andersen, H. C. (Hans Christian).
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THE TRUE STORY OF MY LIFE:
A SKETCH
By Hans Christian Andersen.
Translated By Mary Howitt
To MESSRS. MUNROE AND CO.
To MUNROE AND CO.
Gentlemen,—I take this opportunity of forwarding to you, the proof sheets of the unpublished Life of Hans Christian Andersen—translated from a copy transmitted to me for that purpose, by the Author. It is as well to state that this is the Author's Edition, he being participant in the proceeds of this work.
Gentlemen, — I’m sending you the proof sheets of the unpublished Life of Hans Christian Andersen—translated from a copy sent to me for this purpose by the Author. It’s important to note that this is the Author’s Edition, and he will receive a share of the proceeds from this work.
I remain, gentlemen,
I remain, gentlemen,
Yours truly,
Sincerely,
MARY HOWITT.
MARY HOWITT.
LONDON, June 29, 1847.
LONDON, June 29, 1847.
TO
JENNY LIND
THE ENGLISH TRANSLATION
OF
THE TRUE STORY OF HER FRIEND'S LIFE
IS INSCRIBED
IN ADMIRATION OF HER BEAUTIFUL TALENTS
AND STILL MORE BEAUTIFUL LIFE,
BY
MARY HOWITT.
: There are many words in this file with missing letters. These spaces were letters with diacritic marks which at the time of the production of the digital file were not available for the character set of the file. It is hoped someone will be interested enough in this work to supply the missing letters. DW
: There are many words in this file with missing letters. These spaces were letters with diacritic marks which at the time of creating the digital file were not available for the character set of the file. It is hoped someone will be interested enough in this work to supply the missing letters. DW
CONTENTS
TABLE OF CONTENTS
PREFACE.
No literary labor is more delightful to me than translating the beautiful thoughts and fancies of Hans Christian Andersen. My heart is in the work, and I feel as if my spirit were kindred to his; just as our Saxon English seems to me eminently fitted to give the simple, pure, and noble sentiments of the Danish mind.
No literary work brings me more joy than translating the beautiful ideas and whims of Hans Christian Andersen. I wholeheartedly invest myself in this task, feeling a deep connection with his spirit; just as our Saxon English feels perfectly suited to express the simple, pure, and noble thoughts of the Danish mind.
This True Story of his Life will not be found the least interesting of his writings; indeed, to me it seems one of the most so. It furnishes the key, as it were, to all the rest; and the treasures which it unlocks will be found to be possessed of additional value when viewed through the medium of this introduction. It is gratifying for me to be able to state that the original Author has a personal interest in this English version of his "Life," as I have arranged with my publishers to pay Mr. Andersen a certain sum on the publication of this translation, and the same on all future editions.
This true story of his life won't be considered the least interesting of his writings; in fact, it seems to me one of the most engaging. It serves as the key to all the others, and the treasures it reveals will have even more value when viewed through this introduction. I'm pleased to say that the original author has a personal interest in this English version of his "Life," as I've arranged with my publishers to pay Mr. Andersen a specific amount when this translation is published, and the same for all future editions.
M. H.
The Elms, Clapton, June 26.
The Elms, Clapton, June 26.
THE TRUE STORY OF MY LIFE
CHAPTER I.
My life is a lovely story, happy and full of incident. If, when I was a boy, and went forth into the world poor and friendless, a good fairy had met me and said, "Choose now thy own course through life, and the object for which thou wilt strive, and then, according to the development of thy mind, and as reason requires, I will guide and defend thee to its attainment," my fate could not, even then, have been directed more happily, more prudently, or better. The history of my life will say to the world what it says to me—There is a loving God, who directs all things for the best.
My life is a beautiful story, filled with joy and events. If, when I was a kid, I had gone out into the world, poor and without friends, and a kind fairy had met me and said, "Choose your own path through life now, and the goal you want to achieve, and then I will guide and protect you based on your growth and what reason requires," my fate couldn't have been directed more favorably, wisely, or better. The story of my life will tell the world what it tells me—There is a caring God who leads everything for the best.
My native land, Denmark, is a poetical land, full of popular traditions, old songs, and an eventful history, which has become bound up with that of Sweden and Norway. The Danish islands are possessed of beautiful beech woods, and corn and clover fields: they resemble gardens on a great scale. Upon one of these green islands, Funen, stands Odense, the place of my birth. Odense is called after the pagan god Odin, who, as tradition states, lived here: this place is the capital of the province, and lies twenty-two Danish miles from Copenhagen.
My homeland, Denmark, is a poetic place, filled with folk traditions, old songs, and a rich history that is intertwined with that of Sweden and Norway. The Danish islands have beautiful beech forests and fields of grain and clover; they look like large gardens. On one of these green islands, Funen, is Odense, where I was born. Odense is named after the pagan god Odin, who, according to tradition, lived here. This town is the capital of the province and is situated twenty-two Danish miles from Copenhagen.
In the year 1805 there lived here, in a small mean room, a young married couple, who were extremely attached to each other; he was a shoemaker, scarcely twenty-two years old, a man of a richly gifted and truly poetical mind. His wife, a few years older than himself, was ignorant of life and of the world, but possessed a heart full of love. The young man had himself made his shoemaking bench, and the bedstead with which he began housekeeping; this bedstead he had made out of the wooden frame which had borne only a short time before the coffin of the deceased Count Trampe, as he lay in state, and the remnants of the black cloth on the wood work kept the fact still in remembrance.
In 1805, a young married couple lived in a small, basic room. They were deeply connected to each other; he was a shoemaker, barely twenty-two, with a beautifully creative and poetic mind. His wife, a few years older, knew little about life or the world but had a heart full of love. The young man had built his own shoemaking bench and the bed they started their new life with; he constructed this bed from the wooden frame that had recently held the coffin of the late Count Trampe while he lay in state, and the remnants of the black cloth on the wood still served as a reminder of that.
Instead of a noble corpse, surrounded by crape and wax-lights, here lay, on the second of April, 1805, a living and weeping child,—that was myself, Hans Christian Andersen. During the first day of my existence my father is said to have sate by the bed and read aloud in Holberg, but I cried all the time. "Wilt thou go to sleep, or listen quietly?" it is reported that my father asked in joke; but I still cried on; and even in the church, when I was taken to be baptized, I cried so loudly that the preacher, who was a passionate man, said, "The young one screams like a cat!" which words my mother never forgot. A poor emigrant, Gomar, who stood as godfather, consoled her in the mean time by saying that the louder I cried as a child, all the more beautifully should I sing when I grew older.
Instead of a noble corpse, surrounded by black fabric and candles, on the second of April, 1805, there lay a living and crying child—me, Hans Christian Andersen. My father supposedly sat by the bed reading aloud from Holberg during my first day of life, but I cried the whole time. "Will you go to sleep or listen quietly?" my father jokingly asked, but I just kept crying; even at church, when I was taken for baptism, I cried so loudly that the preacher, who had a fiery temperament, remarked, "The little one screams like a cat!" My mother never forgot those words. A poor immigrant named Gomar, who stood as my godfather, comforted her by saying that the louder I cried as a child, the more beautifully I would sing when I grew up.
Our little room, which was almost filled with the shoemaker's bench, the bed, and my crib, was the abode of my childhood; the walls, however, were covered with pictures, and over the work-bench was a cupboard containing books and songs; the little kitchen was full of shining plates and metal pans, and by means of a ladder it was possible to go out on the roof, where, in the gutters between and the neighbor's house, there stood a great chest filled with soil, my mother's sole garden, and where she grew her vegetables. In my story of the Snow Queen that garden still blooms.
Our small room, which was almost completely taken up by the shoemaker's bench, the bed, and my crib, was where I grew up. The walls were adorned with pictures, and above the workbench was a cupboard filled with books and songs. The tiny kitchen was packed with shiny plates and metal pans, and with the help of a ladder, you could climb up to the roof, where, in the gutters between our house and the neighbor's, there was a big chest filled with soil—my mother's only garden—where she grew her vegetables. In my story of the Snow Queen, that garden is still thriving.
I was the only child, and was extremely spoiled, but I continually heard from my mother how very much happier I was than she had been, and that I was brought up like a nobleman's child. She, as a child, had been driven out by her parents to beg, and once when she was not able to do it, she had sate for a whole day under a bridge and wept. I have drawn her character in two different aspects, in old Dominica, in the Improvisatore, and in the mother of Christian, in Only a Fiddler.
I was an only child and pretty spoiled, but my mom always told me how much happier I was than she had been, saying I was raised like a nobleman's kid. As a child, she had been forced out by her parents to beg, and once when she couldn't do it, she sat under a bridge all day and cried. I've portrayed her character in two different ways: in old Dominica in The Improvisatore and as the mother of Christian in Only a Fiddler.
My father gratified me in all my wishes. I possessed his whole heart; he lived for me. On Sundays, he made me perspective glasses, theatres, and pictures which could be changed; he read to me from Holberg's plays and the Arabian Tales; it was only in such moments as these that I can remember to have seen him really cheerful, for he never felt himself happy in his life and as a handicrafts-man. His parents had been country people in good circumstances, but upon whom many misfortunes had fallen; the cattle had died; the farm house had been burned down; and lastly, the husband had lost his reason. On this the wife had removed with him to Odense, and there put her son, whose mind was full of intelligence, apprentice to a shoemaker; it could not be otherwise, although it was his ardent wish to be able to attend the Grammar School, where he might have learned Latin. A few well-to-do citizens had at one time spoken of this, of clubbing together a sufficient sum to pay for his board and education, and thus giving him a start in life; but it never went beyond words. My poor father saw his dearest wish unfulfilled; and he never lost the remembrance of it. I recollect that once, as a child, I saw tears in his eyes, and it was when a youth from the Grammar School came to our house to be measured for a new pair of boots, and showed us his books and told us what he learned.
My father fulfilled all my wishes. I had his entire heart; he lived for me. On Sundays, he made me perspective glasses, theaters, and pictures that could be changed; he read to me from Holberg's plays and the Arabian Tales. It was only during moments like these that I can remember him really being cheerful, as he never felt truly happy in his life or as a craftsman. His parents had been well-off country folks, but they experienced many misfortunes; their cattle died, the farmhouse burned down, and eventually, the husband lost his mind. After that, the wife moved with him to Odense and put her son, who was quite bright, as an apprentice to a shoemaker; there was no other option, even though he desperately wanted to attend Grammar School to learn Latin. At one point, a few wealthy citizens considered pooling together enough money to cover his living and education costs, giving him a chance at a better life, but it never got beyond talk. My poor father saw his greatest desire go unmet, and he never forgot it. I remember once, as a child, seeing tears in his eyes when a boy from Grammar School came to our house to be measured for a new pair of boots and showed us his books while telling us what he was learning.
"That was the path upon which I ought to have gone!" said my father, kissed me passionately, and was silent the whole evening.
"That was the path I should have taken!" my father said, kissed me deeply, and remained silent for the rest of the evening.
He very seldom associated with his equals. He went out into the woods on Sundays, when he took me with him; he did not talk much when he was out, but would sit silently, sunk in deep thought, whilst I ran about and strung strawberries on a straw, or bound garlands. Only twice in the year, and that in the month of May, when the woods were arrayed in their earliest green, did my mother go with us, and then she wore a cotton gown, which she put on only on these occasions, and when she partook of the Lord's Supper, and which, as long as I can remember, was her holiday gown. She always took home with her from the wood a great many fresh beech boughs, which were then planted behind the polished stone. Later in the year sprigs of St. John's wort were stuck into the chinks of the beams, and we considered their growth as omens whether our lives would be long or short. Green branches and pictures ornamented our little room, which my mother always kept neat and clean; she took great pride in always having the bed-linen and the curtains very white.
He rarely hung out with people like him. He went into the woods on Sundays, taking me along; he didn’t talk much while we were out, but would just sit there, deep in thought, while I ran around, stringing strawberries on a straw or making flower crowns. Only twice a year, in May when the woods were at their greenest, did my mother join us. On those occasions, she wore a cotton dress that she only put on then and during the Lord's Supper, which had been her holiday dress for as long as I could remember. She always brought home a bunch of fresh beech branches that she planted behind the polished stone. Later in the year, we would stick sprigs of St. John's wort into the cracks of the beams, believing their growth would tell us if our lives would be long or short. Green branches and pictures decorated our small room, which my mother always kept neat and clean; she took great pride in having the bed linens and curtains very white.
The mother of my father came daily to our house, were it only for a moment, in order to see her little grandson. I was her joy and her delight. She was a quiet and most amiable old woman, with mild blue eyes and a fine figure, which life had severely tried. From having been the wife of a countryman in easy circumstances she had now fallen into great poverty, and dwelt with her feeble-minded husband in a little house, which was the last, poor remains of their property. I never saw her shed a tear. But it made all the deeper impression upon me when she quietly sighed, and told me about her own mother's mother, how she had been a rich, noble lady in the city of Cassel, and that she had married a "comedy-player," that was as she expressed it, and run away from parents and home, for all of which her posterity had now to do penance. I never can recollect that I heard her mention the family name of her grandmother; but her own maiden name was Nommesen. She was employed to take care of the garden belonging to a lunatic asylum, and every Sunday evening she brought us some flowers, which they gave her permission to take home with her. These flowers adorned my mother's cupboard; but still they were mine, and to me it was allowed to put them in the glass of water. How great was this pleasure! She brought them all to me; she loved me with her whole soul. I knew it, and I understood it.
My father's mother came to our house every day, even if just for a moment, to see her little grandson. I was her joy and pride. She was a gentle and kind old woman with soft blue eyes and a delicate figure that life had put to the test. Once the wife of a well-off farmer, she had now fallen into deep poverty, living with her mentally challenged husband in a tiny house, the last remnants of their property. I never saw her cry. But it left a stronger impression on me when she sighed softly and told me about her grandmother, who had been a wealthy, noble lady in the city of Cassel. She married a "comedy-player," as she called him, and ran away from her parents and home, for which her descendants now had to atone. I can’t recall her ever mentioning her grandmother’s family name, but her own maiden name was Nommesen. She worked taking care of the garden at a mental asylum, and every Sunday evening she brought us some flowers that she was allowed to take home. These flowers decorated my mother’s cupboard, but they were still mine, and I got to put them in a glass of water. What a joy that was! She brought them all to me; she loved me with all her heart. I felt it, and I understood it.
She burned, twice in the year, the green rubbish of the garden; on such occasions she took me with her to the asylum, and I lay upon the great heaps of green leaves and pea-straw. I had many flowers to play with, and—which was a circumstance upon which I set great importanceù I had here better food to eat than I could expect at home.
She burned the garden's green waste twice a year; on those days, she took me with her to the asylum, and I lay on the large piles of green leaves and pea straw. I had plenty of flowers to play with, and—which was something I really valued—I had better food to eat here than I could expect at home.
All such patients as were harmless were permitted to go freely about the court; they often came to us in the garden, and with curiosity and terror I listened to them and followed them about; nay, I even ventured so far as to go with the attendants to those who were raving mad. A long passage led to their cells. On one occasion, when the attendants were out of the way, I lay down upon the floor, and peeped through the crack of the door into one of these cells. I saw within a lady almost naked, lying on her straw bed; her hair hung down over her shoulders, and she sang with a very beautiful voice. All at once she sprang up, and threw herself against the door where I lay; the little valve through which she received her food burst open; she stared down upon me, and stretched out her long arm towards me. I screamed for terror—I felt the tips of her fingers touching my clothes—I was half dead when the attendant came; and even in later years that sight and that feeling remained within my soul.
All the harmless patients were allowed to roam freely around the court; they often came to us in the garden, and with a mix of curiosity and fear, I listened to them and followed them around. I even went so far as to join the attendants to visit those who were truly mad. A long hallway led to their cells. One time, when the attendants were out of sight, I lay down on the floor and peeked through the crack of the door into one of the cells. Inside, I saw a woman almost naked, lying on a straw bed; her hair fell over her shoulders, and she sang with a beautiful voice. Suddenly, she jumped up and threw herself against the door where I was lying; the little opening where she got her food burst open. She looked down at me and reached out her long arm toward me. I screamed in terror—I felt the tips of her fingers brush against my clothes—I was half dead by the time the attendant arrived; and even years later, that sight and that feeling stayed with me.
Close beside the place where the leaves were burned, the poor old women had their spinning-room. I often went in there, and was very soon a favorite. When with these people, I found myself possessed of an eloquence which filled them with astonishment. I had accidentally heard about the internal mechanism of the human frame, of course without understanding anything about it; but all these mysteries were very captivating to me; and with chalk, therefore, I drew a quantity of flourishes on the door, which were to represent the intestines; and my description of the heart and the lungs made the deepest impression. I passed for a remarkably wise child, that would not live long; and they rewarded my eloquence by telling me tales in return; and thus a world as rich as that of the thousand and one nights was revealed to me. The stories told by these old ladies, and the insane figures which I saw around me in the asylum, operated in the meantime so powerfully upon me, that when it grew dark I scarcely dared to go out of the house. I was therefore permitted, generally at sunset, to lay me down in my parents' bed with its long flowered curtains, because the press-bed in which I slept could not conveniently be put down so early in the evening on account of the room it occupied in our small dwelling; and here, in the paternal bed, lay I in a waking dream, as if the actual world did not concern me. I was very much afraid of my weak-minded grandfather. Only once had he ever spoken to me, and then he had made use of the formal pronoun "you." He employed himself in cutting out of wood strange figures, men with beasts' heads, and beasts with wings; these he packed in a basket and carried them out into the country, where he was everywhere well received by the peasant women, because he gave to them and their children these strange toys. One day, when he was returning to Odense, I heard the boys in the street shouting after him; I hid myself behind a flight of steps in terror, for I knew that I was of his flesh and blood.
Close to where the leaves were burned, the poor old women had their spinning room. I often went in there and quickly became a favorite. When I was with them, I found that I could speak with a fluency that amazed them. I had accidentally heard about how the human body worked, without really understanding it; yet all those mysteries fascinated me. So, with chalk, I drew a bunch of flourishes on the door to represent the intestines, and my descriptions of the heart and lungs made a strong impression. I was seen as a surprisingly wise child who wouldn’t live long, and they rewarded my speaking by telling me stories in return, opening up a world as rich as that of a thousand and one nights. The tales from those old ladies and the bizarre figures I saw around me in the asylum affected me so powerfully that when it got dark, I hardly dared to leave the house. Because of that, I was usually allowed to lie down in my parents' bed with its long floral curtains at sunset, since the pull-out bed where I usually slept couldn’t be put down early in the evening due to the space it took up in our small home; and here, in the parental bed, I lay in a waking dream, as if the real world didn’t matter to me. I was very afraid of my simple-minded grandfather. He had only spoken to me once, and that time he had used the formal "you." He spent his time carving strange figures out of wood, like men with animal heads and animals with wings; he packed these into a basket and took them out into the countryside, where peasant women welcomed him because he gave these odd toys to them and their children. One day, when he was coming back to Odense, I heard the boys in the street yelling after him; I hid behind a flight of steps in fear because I knew I was related to him.
Every circumstance around me tended to excite my imagination. Odense itself, in those days in which there was not a single steamboat in existence, and when intercourse with other places was much more rare than now, was a totally different city to what it is in our day; a person might have fancied himself living hundreds of years ago, because so many customs prevailed then which belonged to an earlier age. The guilds walked in procession through the town with their harlequin before them with mace and bells; on Shrove Tuesday the butchers led the fattest ox through the streets adorned with garlands, whilst a boy in a white shirt and with great wings on his shoulders rode upon it; the sailors paraded through the city with music and all their flags flying, and then two of the boldest among them stood and wrestled upon a plank placed between two boats, and the one who was not thrown into the water was the victor.
Every situation around me sparked my imagination. Odense back then, when there wasn’t a single steamboat in sight and connections with other places were much rarer than today, was a completely different city than it is now; one could easily imagine living hundreds of years ago, as many customs from an earlier time were still in place. The guilds marched through the town, led by their harlequin carrying a mace and bells; on Shrove Tuesday, the butchers paraded the fattest ox through the streets, decorated with garlands, while a boy in a white shirt and large wings rode on it; the sailors celebrated in the city with music and all their flags waving, and then two of the bravest among them wrestled on a plank set between two boats, with the one who didn’t get thrown into the water being declared the winner.
That, however, which more particularly stamped itself upon my memory, and became refreshed by after often-repeated relations, was, the abode of the Spaniards in Funen in 1808. It is true that at that time I was but three years old; still I nevertheless perfectly remember the brown foreign men who made disturbances in the streets, and the cannon which were fired. I saw the people lying on straw in a half-tumbledown church, which was near the asylum. One day, a Spanish soldier took me in his arms and pressed a silver image, which he wore upon his breast, to my lips. I remember that my mother was angry at it, because, she said, there was something papistical about it; but the image, and the strange man, who danced me about, kissed me and wept, pleased me: certainly he had children at home in Spain. I saw one of his comrades led to execution; he had killed a Frenchman. Many years afterwards this little circumstance occasioned me to write my little poem, "The Soldier," which Chamisso translated into German, and which afterwards was included in the illustrated people's books of soldier-songs. [Footnote: This same little song, sent to me by the author, was translated by me and published in the 19th No. of Howitt's Journal.—M. H.] I very seldom played with other boys; even at school I took little interest in their games, but remained sitting within doors. At home I had playthings enough, which my father made for me. My greatest delight was in making clothes for my dolls, or in stretching out one of my mother's aprons between the wall and two sticks before a currant-bush which I had planted in the yard, and thus to gaze in between the sun-illumined leaves. I was a singularly dreamy child, and so constantly went about with my eyes shut, as at last to give the impression of having weak sight, although the sense of sight was especially cultivated by me.
What stayed with me the most and was always brought back to mind through stories was the presence of the Spaniards in Funen in 1808. I was only three years old at the time, but I still clearly remember the brown foreign men causing trouble in the streets and the sounds of cannon fire. I saw people lying on straw in a run-down church near the asylum. One day, a Spanish soldier picked me up and pressed a silver image he wore on his chest to my lips. I remember my mother getting upset about it because she thought it was idolatrous; however, I was enchanted by the image and the strange man, who danced with me, kissed me, and cried—he must have had children back home in Spain. I witnessed one of his comrades being led to execution for having killed a Frenchman. Many years later, this little incident inspired me to write a poem called "The Soldier," which Chamisso translated into German and later included in illustrated collections of soldier songs. [Footnote: This same little song, sent to me by the author, was translated by me and published in the 19th No. of Howitt's Journal.—M. H.] I rarely played with other boys; even at school, I showed little interest in their games and preferred to stay inside. At home, I had plenty of toys my father made for me. My greatest joy came from making clothes for my dolls or stretching out one of my mother’s aprons between the wall and two sticks in front of a currant bush I had planted in the yard, gazing through the sunlit leaves. I was a particularly dreamy child, often wandering around with my eyes closed, which eventually gave the impression that I had poor eyesight, even though I had actually developed my vision quite well.
Sometimes, during the harvest, my mother went into the field to glean. I accompanied her, and we went, like Ruth in the Bible, to glean in the rich fields of Boaz. One day we went to a place, the bailiff of which was well known for being a man of a rude and savage disposition. We saw him coming with a huge whip in his hand, and my mother and all the others ran away. I had wooden shoes on my bare feet, and in my haste I lost these, and then the thorns pricked me so that I could not run, and thus I was left behind and alone. The man came up and lifted his whip to strike me, when I looked him in the face and involuntarily exclaimed,—
Sometimes, during the harvest, my mom went out to the fields to gather leftover grain. I went with her, and we went, like Ruth in the Bible, to pick from the abundant fields of Boaz. One day, we arrived at a place where the bailiff was known for being a really rude and aggressive guy. We saw him coming with a big whip in his hand, and my mom and everyone else ran away. I was wearing wooden shoes on my bare feet, and in my hurry, I lost them. The thorns pricked my feet so much that I couldn't run, so I was left behind and alone. The man came over and raised his whip to hit me, and when I looked him in the face, I instinctively exclaimed,—
"How dare you strike me, when God can see it?"
"How dare you hit me when God is watching?"
The strong, stern man looked at me, and at once became mild; he patted me on my cheeks, asked me my name, and gave me money.
The tough, serious man looked at me and suddenly softened; he patted my cheeks, asked for my name, and gave me some money.
When I brought this to my mother and showed it her, she said to the others, "He is a strange child, my Hans Christian; everybody is kind to him: this bad fellow even has given him money."
When I showed this to my mom, she said to the others, "My Hans Christian is a weird kid; everyone is nice to him, and this bad guy even gave him money."
I grew up pious and superstitious. I had no idea of want or need; to be sure my parents had only sufficient to live from day to day, but I at least had plenty of every thing; an old woman altered my father's clothes for me. Now and then I went with my parents to the theatre, where the first representations which I saw were in German. "Das Donauweibchen" was the favorite piece of the whole city; there, however, I saw, for the first time, Holberg's Village Politicians treated as an opera.
I grew up religious and superstitious. I had no understanding of want or need; my parents only had enough to get by day by day, but I always had plenty of everything. An old woman would alter my father's clothes for me. Occasionally, I went with my parents to the theater, where the first performances I saw were in German. "Das Donauweibchen" was the city's favorite show; it was there that I first saw Holberg's Village Politicians presented as an opera.
The first impression which a theatre and the crowd assembled there made upon me was, at all events, no sign of any thing poetical slumbering in me; for my first exclamation on seeing so many people, was, "Now, if we only had as many casks of butter as there are people here, then I would eat lots of butter!" The theatre, however, soon became my favorite place, but, as I could only very seldom go there, I acquired the friendship of the man who carried out the playbills, and he gave me one every day. With this I seated myself in a corner and imagined an entire play, according to the name of the piece and the characters in it. That was my first, unconscious poetising.
The first impression that a theater and the crowd gathered there made on me definitely didn’t suggest any poetic feelings inside me; my first reaction upon seeing so many people was, "If only we had as many barrels of butter as there are people here, then I would eat tons of butter!" However, the theater soon became my favorite place, but since I could rarely go there, I became friends with the guy who handed out the playbills, and he gave me one every day. I would sit in a corner with it and imagine an entire play based on the title and characters. That was my first, unintentional act of creating poetry.
My father's favorite reading was plays and stories, although he also read works of history and the Scriptures. He pondered in silent thought afterwards upon that which he had read, but my mother did not understand him when he talked with her about them, and therefore he grew more and more silent. One day, he closed the Bible with the words, "Christ was a man like us, but an extraordinary man!" These words horrified my mother, and she burst into tears. In my distress I prayed to God that he would forgive this fearful blasphemy in my father. "There is no other devil than that which we have in our own hearts," I heard my father say one day and I made myself miserable about him and his soul; I was therefore entirely of the opinion of my mother and the neighbours, when my father, one morning, found three scratches on his arm, probably occasioned by a nail, that the devil had been to visit him in the night, in order to prove to him that he really existed. My father's rambles in the wood became more frequent; he had no rest. The events of the war in Germany, which he read in the newspapers with eager curiosity, occupied him completely. Napoleon was his hero: his rise from obscurity was the most beautiful example to him. At that time Denmark was in league with France; nothing was talked of but war; my father entered the service as a soldier, in hope of returning home a lieutenant. My mother wept. The neighbours shrugged their shoulders, and said that it was folly to go out to be shot when there was no occasion for it.
My dad loved reading plays and stories, but he also read history and the Bible. Afterwards, he would think silently about what he had read, but my mom didn’t really understand him when he talked to her about it, so he became quieter and quieter. One day, he closed the Bible and said, “Christ was a man like us, but an extraordinary man!” My mom was horrified by this and broke down in tears. In my distress, I prayed to God to forgive my dad for this awful blasphemy. "There is no devil except for the one we have in our own hearts," I heard my dad say one day, and it made me miserable about him and his soul; I was completely aligned with my mom and the neighbors when my dad one morning discovered three scratches on his arm, probably from a nail, leading them to believe the devil had visited him at night to prove he really existed. My dad's walks in the woods became more frequent; he couldn’t find peace. The news of the war in Germany, which he read in the papers with intense curiosity, completely consumed him. Napoleon was his hero; his rise from nothing was the most inspiring example to him. At that time, Denmark was allied with France; all people talked about was war; my dad joined the army, hoping to come back as a lieutenant. My mom cried. The neighbors shook their heads and said it was foolish to go out and get shot when there was no reason to.
The morning on which the corps were to march I heard my father singing and talking merrily, but his heart was deeply agitated; I observed that by the passionate manner in which he kissed me when he took his leave. I lay sick of the measles and alone in the room, when the drums beat and my mother accompanied my father, weeping, to the city gate. As soon as they were gone my old grandmother came in; she looked at me with her mild eyes and said, it would be a good thing if I died; but that God's will was always the best.
The morning the troops were set to march, I heard my father singing and chatting cheerfully, but inside he was really upset; I could tell by the passionate way he kissed me when he left. I was stuck in bed with the measles, alone in the room, when the drums began to beat and my mother followed my father, crying, to the city gate. As soon as they left, my old grandmother came in; she looked at me with her gentle eyes and said it would be better if I died, but that God's will was always for the best.
That was the first day of real sorrow which I remember.
That was the first day of true sadness that I remember.
The regiment advanced no farther than Holstein, peace was concluded, and the voluntary soldier returned to his work-stool. Everything fell into its old course. I played again with my dolls, acted comedies, and always in German, because I had only seen them in this language; but my German was a sort of gibberish which I made up, and in which there occurred only one real German word, and that was "Besen," a word which I had picked up out of the various dialects which my father brought home from Holstein.
The regiment didn't go beyond Holstein, peace was made, and the volunteer soldier went back to his job. Everything returned to normal. I played with my dolls again, put on plays, and always in German, since that's the only version I had seen; but my German was more like nonsense that I created, and it only included one real German word, which was "Besen," a word I had picked up from the different dialects my father brought back from Holstein.
"Thou hast indeed some benefit from my travels," said he in joke. "God knows whether thou wilt get as far; but that must be thy care. Think about it, Hans Christian!" But it was my mother's intention that as long as she had any voice in the matter, I should remain at home, and not lose my health as he had done.
"You're definitely getting something out of my travels," he joked. "God knows if you'll go as far; that's up to you. Think about it, Hans Christian!" But my mom wanted me to stay home as long as she had any say in it, so I wouldn’t lose my health like he had.
That was the case with him; his health had suffered. One morning he woke in a state of the wildest excitement, and talked only of campaigns and Napoleon. He fancied that he had received orders from him to take the command. My mother immediately sent me, not to the physician, but to a so-called wise woman some miles from Odense. I went to her. She questioned me, measured my arm with a woolen thread, made extraordinary signs, and at last laid a green twig upon my breast. It was, she said, a piece of the same kind of tree upon which the Saviour was crucified.
That was the case with him; his health had deteriorated. One morning, he woke up with intense excitement, talking only about battles and Napoleon. He believed that he had received orders from him to take command. My mother sent me, not to the doctor, but to a so-called wise woman a few miles from Odense. I went to her. She asked me questions, measured my arm with a wool thread, made strange signs, and finally laid a green twig on my chest. She said it was a piece of the same type of tree on which the Savior was crucified.
"Go now," said she, "by the river side towards home. If your father will die this time, then you will meet his ghost."
"Go now," she said, "by the river toward home. If your father dies this time, you'll meet his ghost."
My anxiety and distress may be imagined,—I, who was so full of superstition, and whose imagination was so easily excited.
My anxiety and distress can only be imagined—I, who was so full of superstition and had such an easily stirred imagination.
"And thou hast not met anything, hast thou?" inquired my mother when I got home. I assured her, with beating heart, that I had not.
“And you haven’t encountered anything, have you?” my mother asked when I got home. I assured her, my heart racing, that I hadn’t.
My father died the third day after that. His corpse lay on the bed: I therefore slept with my mother. A cricket chirped the whole night through.
My father passed away three days later. His body was on the bed, so I slept with my mother. A cricket chirped throughout the night.
"He is dead," said my mother, addressing it; "thou needest not call him. The ice maiden has fetched him."
"He's dead," my mom said, talking to it; "you don't need to call him. The ice maiden has taken him."
I understood what she meant. I recollected that, in the winter before, when our window panes were frozen, my father pointed to them and showed us a figure as that of a maiden with outstretched arms. "She is come to fetch me," said he, in jest. And now, when he lay dead on the bed, my mother remembered this, and it occupied my thoughts also.
I got what she was saying. I remembered that last winter, when our window panes were frozen, my dad pointed at them and showed us a shape that looked like a girl with her arms stretched out. "She’s come to get me," he joked. Now, with him lying dead on the bed, my mom thought about this too, and it was weighing on my mind as well.
He was buried in St. Knud's churchyard, by the door on the left hand side coming from the altar. My grandmother planted roses upon his grave. There are now in the selfsame place two strangers' graves, and the grass grows green upon them also.
He was buried in St. Knud's churchyard, by the door on the left side coming from the altar. My grandmother planted roses on his grave. There are now two strangers' graves in the same spot, and the grass grows green on them too.
After my father's death I was entirely left to myself. My mother went out washing. I sate alone at home with my little theatre, made dolls' clothes and read plays. It has been told me that I was always clean and nicely dressed. I had grown tall; my hair was long, bright, and almost yellow, and I always went bare-headed. There dwelt in our neighborhood the widow of a clergyman, Madame Bunkeflod, with the sister of her deceased husband. This lady opened to me her door, and hers was the first house belonging to the educated class into which I was kindly received. The deceased clergyman had written poems, and had gained a reputation in Danish literature. His spinning songs were at that time in the mouths of the people. In my vignettes to the Danish poets I thus sang of him whom my contemporaries had forgotten:—
After my father's death, I was completely on my own. My mother went out to do laundry. I sat alone at home with my little theater, made doll clothes, and read plays. I've been told that I was always clean and well-dressed. I had grown tall; my hair was long, bright, and almost yellow, and I always went without a hat. In our neighborhood lived the widow of a clergyman, Madame Bunkeflod, along with her late husband’s sister. She welcomed me into her home, and hers was the first house from the educated class to accept me kindly. The late clergyman had written poems and gained a reputation in Danish literature. His spinning songs were popular among the people at that time. In my sketches of Danish poets, I thus sang of him whom my contemporaries had forgotten:—
Spindles rattle, wheels turn round, Spinning-songs depart; Songs which youth sings soon become Music of the heart.
Spindles rattle, wheels spin, Spinning songs take flight; Songs that young people sing quickly turn Into music of the heart.
Here it was that I heard for the first time the word poet spoken, and that with so much reverence, as proved it to be something sacred. It is true that my father had read Holberg's play to me; but here it was not of these that they spoke, but of verses and poetry. "My brother the poet," said Bunkeflod's sister, and her eyes sparkled as she said it. From her I learned that it was a something glorious, a something fortunate, to be a poet. Here, too, for the first time, I read Shakspeare, in a bad translation, to be sure; but the bold descriptions, the heroic incidents, witches, and ghosts were exactly to my taste. I immediately acted Shakspeare's plays on my little puppet theatre. I saw Hamlet's ghost, and lived upon the heath with Lear. The more persons died in a play, the more interesting I thought it. At this time I wrote my first piece: it was nothing less than a tragedy, wherein, as a matter of course, everybody died. The subject of it I borrowed from an old song about Pyramus and Thisbe; but I had increased the incidents through a hermit and his son, who both loved Thisbe, and who both killed themselves when she died. Many speeches of the hermit were passages from the Bible, taken out of the little catechism, especially from our duty to our neighbors. To the piece I gave the title "Abor and Elvira."
Here is where I first heard the word poet spoken, and it was said with such reverence that it felt sacred. It’s true my father had read Holberg’s play to me, but here they weren’t talking about those; they were discussing verses and poetry. “My brother the poet,” said Bunkeflod’s sister, her eyes sparkling as she spoke. From her, I learned that being a poet was something glorious and fortunate. It was also here that I read Shakespeare for the first time, albeit in a poor translation; still, the bold descriptions, heroic events, witches, and ghosts were exactly what I liked. I immediately started acting out Shakespeare’s plays on my little puppet theater. I saw Hamlet’s ghost and lived among the heath with Lear. The more people died in a play, the more interesting I found it. At that time, I wrote my first piece: it was nothing less than a tragedy, where, of course, everyone died. I borrowed the subject from an old song about Pyramus and Thisbe, but I added more incidents, including a hermit and his son, both in love with Thisbe, who both killed themselves when she died. Many of the hermit’s speeches were passages from the Bible, taken from the little catechism, especially about our duties to our neighbors. I titled the piece “Abor and Elvira.”
"It ought to be called 'Perch (Aborre) and Stockfish,'" said one of our neighbors wittily to me, as I came with it to her after having read it with great satisfaction and joy to all the people in our street. This entirely depressed me, because I felt that she was turning both me and my poem to ridicule. With a troubled heart I told it to my mother.
"It should be called 'Perch (Aborre) and Stockfish,'" one of my neighbors joked as I brought it to her after reading it with great satisfaction and joy to everyone on our street. This completely brought me down because I felt like she was mocking both me and my poem. With a heavy heart, I shared it with my mom.
"She only said so," replied my mother, "because her son had not done it." I was comforted, and began a new piece, in which a king and queen were among the dramatis personae. I thought it was not quite right that these dignified personages, as in Shakspeare, should speak like other men and women. I asked my mother and different people how a king ought properly to speak, but no one knew exactly. They said that it was so many years since a king had been in Odense, but that he certainly spoke in a foreign language. I procured myself, therefore, a sort of lexicon, in which were German, French, and English words with Danish meanings, and this helped me. I took a word out of each language, and inserted them into the speeches of my king and queen. It was a regular Babel-like language, which I considered only suitable for such elevated personages.
"She only said that," my mom replied, "because her son hadn’t done it." I felt better and started a new piece, featuring a king and queen among the characters. I thought it was kind of off that these dignified figures, like in Shakespeare, should speak like everyone else. I asked my mom and other people how a king should really speak, but no one really knew. They mentioned that it had been so many years since a king had been in Odense, but that he definitely spoke in a foreign language. So, I got myself a sort of dictionary that had German, French, and English words with Danish translations, and that helped me out. I picked a word from each language and threw them into the speeches of my king and queen. It was like a Babel-like language, which I thought was perfect for such high-status characters.
I desired now that everybody should hear my piece. It was a real felicity to me to read it aloud, and it never occurred to me that others should not have the same pleasure in listening to it.
I wanted everyone to hear my work. It felt great to read it out loud, and it never crossed my mind that others might not enjoy listening to it as much.
The son of one of our neighbors worked in a cloth manufactory, and every week brought home a sum of money. I was at a loose end, people said, and got nothing. I was also now to go to the manufactory, "not for the sake of the money," my mother said, "but that she might know where I was, and what I was doing."
The son of one of our neighbors worked at a fabric factory and brought home money every week. People said I was just hanging around and not doing anything. My mom also decided I should go to the factory, "not for the money," she said, "but so she would know where I was and what I was up to."
My old grandmother took me to the place, therefore, and was very much affected, because, said she, she had not expected to live to see the time when I should consort with the poor ragged lads that worked there.
My grandma took me to that place, and she was really emotional because, as she said, she never thought she would live to see the day when I would hang out with the poor, ragged boys who worked there.
Many of the journeymen who were employed in the manufactory were Germans; they sang and were merry fellows, and many a coarse joke of theirs filled the place with loud laughter. I heard them, and I there learned that, to the innocent ears of a child, the impure remains very unintelligible. It took no hold upon my heart. I was possessed at that time of a remarkably beautiful and high soprano voice, and I knew it; because when I sang in my parents' little garden, the people in the street stood and listened, and the fine folks in the garden of the states-councillor, which adjoined ours, listened at the fence. When, therefore, the people at the manufactory asked me whether I could sing, I immediately began, and all the looms stood still: all the journeymen listened to me. I had to sing again and again, whilst the other boys had my work given them to do. I now told them that I also could act plays, and that I knew whole scenes of Holberg and Shakspeare. Everybody liked me; and in this way, the first days in the manufactory passed on very merrily. One day, however, when I was in my best singing vein, and everybody spoke of the extraordinary brilliancy of my voice, one of the journeymen said that I was a girl, and not a boy. He seized hold of me. I cried and screamed. The other journeymen thought it very amusing, and held me fast by my arms and legs. I screamed aloud, and was as much ashamed as a girl; and then, darting from them, rushed home to my mother, who immediately promised me that I should never go there again.
Many of the workers at the factory were Germans; they sang and were cheerful, and their coarse jokes often filled the place with loud laughter. I heard them, and I learned that, to the innocent ears of a child, the impure sounds very unclear. It didn't affect me at all. At that time, I had an exceptionally beautiful and high soprano voice, and I knew it; because when I sang in my parents' little garden, people in the street stopped to listen, and the well-off folks in the garden next door, which belonged to the states-councillor, listened over the fence. So, when the people at the factory asked me if I could sing, I started right away, and all the looms stopped: all the workers listened to me. I had to sing again and again while the other boys did my work. I then told them that I could act, too, and that I knew entire scenes from Holberg and Shakespeare. Everyone liked me, and this way, the first days at the factory passed quite joyfully. One day, however, when I was singing my best and everyone was talking about the brilliance of my voice, one of the workers said that I was a girl, not a boy. He grabbed hold of me. I cried and screamed. The other workers found it very funny and held me tightly by my arms and legs. I screamed loudly, feeling as ashamed as a girl. Then I broke free from them and ran home to my mother, who immediately promised me that I would never go there again.
I again visited Madame Bunkeflod, for whose birthday I invented and made a white silk pincushion. I also made an acquaintance with another old clergyman's widow in the neighborhood. She permitted me to read aloud to her the works which she had from the circulating library. One of them began with these words: "It was a tempestuous night; the rain beat against the window-panes."
I visited Madame Bunkeflod again, for whom I designed and made a white silk pincushion for her birthday. I also got to know another old clergyman's widow in the area. She let me read aloud to her the books she borrowed from the library. One of them started with these words: "It was a stormy night; the rain hammered against the window panes."
"That is an extraordinary book," said the old lady; and I quite innocently asked her how she knew that it was. "I can tell from the beginning," said she, "that it will turn out extraordinary."
"That is an amazing book," said the old lady; and I asked her, without thinking, how she knew it was. "I can tell from the start," she replied, "that it will be something special."
I regarded her penetration with a sort of reverence.
I looked at her insight with a kind of respect.
Once in the harvest time my mother took me with her many miles from Odense to a nobleman's seat in the neighborhood of Bogense, her native place. The lady who lived there, and with whose parents my mother had lived, had said that some time she might come and see her. That was a great journey for me: we went most of the way on foot, and required, I believe, two days for the journey. The country here made such a strong impression upon me, that my most earnest wish was to remain in it, and become a countryman. It was just in the hop-picking season; my mother and I sat in the barn with a great many country people round a great binn, and helped to pick the hops. They told tales as they sat at their work, and every one related what wonderful things he had seen or experienced. One afternoon I heard an old man among them say that God knew every thing, both what had happened and what would happen. That idea occupied my whole mind, and towards evening, as I went alone from the court, where there was a deep pond, and stood upon some stones which were just within the water, the thought passed through my head, whether God actually knew everything which was to happen there. Yes, he has now determined that I should live and be so many years old, thought I; but, if I now were to jump into the water here and drown myself, then it would not be as he wished; and all at once I was firmly and resolutely determined to drown myself. I ran to where the water was deepest, and then a new thought passed through my soul. "It is the devil who wishes to have power over me!" I uttered a loud cry, and, running away from the place as if I were pursued, fell weeping into my mother's arms. But neither she nor any one else could wring from me what was amiss with me.
Once during harvest time, my mother took me with her many miles from Odense to a nobleman's estate near Bogense, her hometown. The lady living there, who had previously taken care of my mother, had said that she might come to visit one day. That was a big journey for me: we walked most of the way and it took us about two days to get there. The countryside made such a strong impression on me that my biggest wish was to stay there and become a farmer. It was hop-picking season; my mother and I sat in a barn surrounded by many local people at a big bin, helping to pick the hops. They shared stories while they worked, and everyone talked about the amazing things they had seen or experienced. One afternoon, I overheard an old man say that God knows everything, both what has happened and what will happen. That idea consumed my thoughts, and towards evening, as I stood alone at a deep pond by the courtyard on some stones lodged just in the water, I wondered if God truly knew everything that was going to happen there. Yes, he has decided that I should live and reach a certain age, I thought; but if I were to jump into the water and drown myself, that wouldn’t be what he intended. Suddenly, I was absolutely resolved to drown myself. I ran to the deepest part of the water, and then another thought struck me. "It’s the devil who wants to have control over me!" I cried out loud and, feeling as if I were being chased, I ran away from that spot and collapsed in tears into my mother's arms. But neither she nor anyone else could figure out what was wrong with me.
"He has certainly seen a ghost," said one of the women; and I almost believed so myself.
"He definitely saw a ghost," said one of the women, and I almost believed it myself.
My mother married a second time, a young handicraftsman; but his family, who also belonged to the handicraft class, thought that he had married below himself, and neither my mother nor myself were permitted to visit them. My step-father was a young, grave man, who would have nothing to do with my education. I spent my time, therefore, over my peep show and my puppet theatre, and my greatest happiness consisted in collecting bright colored pieces of cloth and silk, which I cut out myself and sewed. My mother regarded it as good exercise preparatory to my becoming a tailor, and took up the idea that I certainly was born for it. I, on the contrary, said that I would go to the theatre and be an actor, a wish which my mother most sedulously opposed, because she knew of no other theatre than those of the strolling players and the rope-dancers. No, a tailor I must and should be. The only thing which in some measure reconciled me to this prospect was, that I should then get so many fragments to make up for my theatre.
My mom got remarried to a young craftsman, but his family, who were also in the craft industry, thought he had married below his station, so neither my mom nor I were allowed to visit them. My stepdad was a serious young man who didn’t want anything to do with my education. As a result, I spent my time with my peep show and puppet theater, and my biggest joy came from collecting brightly colored pieces of fabric and silk, which I cut out and sewed myself. My mom thought this was good practice for me to become a tailor and believed I was destined for it. On the other hand, I insisted that I wanted to go to the theater and become an actor, a dream my mom strongly opposed because she only knew about traveling theater troupes and acrobats. No, I was meant to be a tailor, no question about it. The only thing that somewhat made this future bearable for me was the idea that I would get plenty of scraps to make things for my theater.
My passion for reading, the many dramatic scenes which I knew by heart, and my remarkably fine voice, had turned upon me in some sort the attention of several of the more influential families of Odense. I was sent for to their houses, and the peculiar characteristics of my mind excited their interest. Among others who noticed me was the Colonel Hoegh-Guldberg, who with his family showed me the kindest sympathy; so much so, indeed, that he introduced me to the present king, then Prince Christian.
My love for reading, the many dramatic scenes I had memorized, and my great singing voice caught the attention of several important families in Odense. They invited me to their homes, and my unique way of thinking intrigued them. One of the people who noticed me was Colonel Hoegh-Guldberg, who, along with his family, showed me incredible kindness; in fact, he even introduced me to the current king, who was then Prince Christian.
I grew rapidly, and was a tall lad, of whom my mother said that she could not let him any longer go about without any object in life. I was sent, therefore, to the charity school, but learned only religion, writing, and arithmetic, and the last badly enough; I could also scarcely spell a word correctly. On the master's birthday I always wove him a garland and wrote him a poem; he received them half with smiles and half as a joke; the last time, however, he scolded me. The street lads had also heard from their parents of my peculiar turn of mind, and that I was in the habit of going to the houses of the gentry. I was therefore one day pursued by a wild crowd of them, who shouted after me derisively, "There runs the play-writer!" I hid myself at home in a corner, wept, and prayed to God.
I grew quickly and was a tall kid. My mom said she couldn't let me wander around without a purpose in life anymore. So, I was sent to a charity school, but I only learned about religion, writing, and arithmetic, and I struggled with the last one. I could barely spell a word correctly. On the teacher's birthday, I always made him a garland and wrote him a poem; he took them half-heartedly, sometimes smiling and sometimes treating it like a joke. The last time, though, he scolded me. The neighborhood kids had also heard from their parents about my unusual interests and that I often visited the homes of the wealthy. One day, a wild group of them chased after me, mocking me and shouting, "There goes the playwright!" I hid in a corner at home, cried, and prayed to God.
My mother said that I must be confirmed, in order that I might be apprenticed to the tailor trade, and thus do something rational. She loved me with her whole heart, but she did not understand my impulses and my endeavors, nor indeed at that time did I myself. The people about her always spoke against my odd ways, and turned me to ridicule.
My mom said I had to be confirmed so I could be apprenticed to a tailor and actually do something practical. She loved me completely, but she didn’t get my feelings and ambitions, and honestly, I didn’t understand them either back then. People around her always criticized my quirky behavior and made fun of me.
We belonged to the parish of St. Knud, and the candidates for confirmation could either enter their names with the prevost or the chaplain. The children of the so-called superior families and the scholars of the grammar school went to the first, and the children of the poor to the second. I, however, announced myself as a candidate to the prevost, who was obliged to receive me, although he discovered vanity in my placing myself among his catechists, where, although taking the lowest place, I was still above those who were under the care of the chaplain. I would, however, hope that it was not alone vanity which impelled me. I had a sort of fear of the poor boys, who had laughed at me, and I always felt as it were an inward drawing towards the scholars of the grammar school, whom I regarded as far better than other boys. When I saw them playing in the church-yard, I would stand outside the railings, and wish that I were but among the fortunate ones,—not for the sake of play, but for the sake of the many books they had, and for what they might be able to become in the world. With the prevost, therefore, I should be able to come together with them, and be as they were; but I do not remember a single one of them now, so little intercourse would they hold with me. I had daily the feeling of having thrust myself in where people thought that I did not belong. One young girl, however, there was, and one who was considered too of the highest rank, whom I shall afterwards have to mention; she always looked gently and kindly at me, and even once gave me a rose. I returned home full of happiness, because there was one being who did not overlook and repel me.
We were part of the St. Knud parish, where candidates for confirmation could sign up with either the prevost or the chaplain. The kids from the so-called upper-class families and the students of the grammar school went to the first option, while the children of the less fortunate went to the second. I decided to register with the prevost, who had no choice but to accept me, even though he saw my choice as a sign of vanity to place myself among his catechists, where, despite being at the bottom, I was still above those under the chaplain's care. However, I hoped that my motivation wasn’t just vanity. I had a certain fear of the poorer boys who had laughed at me, and I always felt a pull towards the grammar school students, whom I viewed as much better than other boys. When I saw them playing in the churchyard, I would stand outside the fence and wish I could be one of the lucky ones—not for the games, but for the many books they had and for what they could become in life. By joining the prevost, I would be able to connect with them and be like them, but I don’t remember a single one of them now, since they hardly interacted with me. Every day, I felt like I had intruded into a space where I wasn't wanted. There was one girl, though, considered to be of high status, whom I will mention later; she always looked at me kindly and even once gave me a rose. I went home feeling thrilled because there was one person who didn’t ignore or reject me.
An old female tailor altered my deceased father's great coat into a confirmation suit for me; never before had I worn so good a coat. I had also for the first time in my life a pair of boots. My delight was extremely great; my only fear was that everybody would not see them, and therefore I drew them up over my trousers, and thus marched through the church. The boots creaked, and that inwardly pleased me, for thus the congregation would hear that they were new. My whole devotion was disturbed; I was aware of it, and it caused me a horrible pang of conscience that my thoughts should be as much with my new boots as with God. I prayed him earnestly from my heart to forgive me, and then again I thought about my new boots.
An old female tailor turned my late father's great coat into a confirmation suit for me; I had never worn such a nice coat before. For the first time in my life, I also had a pair of boots. I was incredibly excited; my only worry was that not everyone would notice them, so I pulled them up over my trousers and walked through the church like that. The boots squeaked, which pleased me because it meant the congregation would know they were new. My whole focus was distracted; I realized it and felt a terrible pang of guilt that my thoughts were as much on my new boots as on God. I sincerely prayed from my heart for His forgiveness, and then I found myself thinking about my new boots again.
During the last year I had saved together a little sum of money. When I counted it over I found it to be thirteen rix dollars banco (about thirty shillings) I was quite overjoyed at the possession of so much wealth, and as my mother now most resolutely required that I should be apprenticed to a tailor, I prayed and besought her that I might make a journey to Copenhagen, that I might see the greatest city in the world. "What wilt thou do there?" asked my mother.
During the last year, I managed to save a little bit of money. When I counted it, I found I had thirteen rix dollars banco (about thirty shillings). I was really excited about having that much money, and since my mother was insisting that I become an apprentice to a tailor, I begged her to let me take a trip to Copenhagen so I could see the greatest city in the world. "What will you do there?" asked my mother.
"I will become famous," returned I, and I then told her all that I had read about extraordinary men. "People have," said I, "at first an immense deal of adversity to go through, and then they will be famous."
"I'll become famous," I replied, and then I shared everything I had read about exceptional people. "People usually face a lot of challenges at first, and then they achieve fame."
It was a wholly unintelligible impulse that guided me. I wept, I prayed, and at last my mother consented, after having first sent for a so-called wise woman out of the hospital, that she might read my future fortune by the coffee-grounds and cards.
It was a completely confusing urge that drove me. I cried, I prayed, and finally my mom agreed, after she first called for a so-called wise woman from the hospital to tell my future by reading the coffee grounds and cards.
"Your son will become a great man," said the old woman, "and in honor of him, Odense will one day be illuminated."
"Your son is going to be an amazing man," said the old woman, "and in his honor, Odense will eventually be lit up."
My mother wept when she heard that, and I obtained permission to travel. All the neighbors told my mother that it was a dreadful thing to let me, at only fourteen years of age, go to Copenhagen, which was such a long way off, and such a great and intricate city, and where I knew nobody.
My mom cried when she heard that, and I got permission to go. All the neighbors told my mom it was a terrible idea to let me, at just fourteen years old, go to Copenhagen, which was so far away, such a big and complicated city, and where I didn't know anyone.
"Yes," replied my mother, "but he lets me have no peace; I have therefore given my consent, but I am sure that he will go no further than Nyborg; when he gets sight of the rough sea, he will be frightened and turn back again."
"Yes," my mother said, "but he doesn't give me any peace; I've agreed, but I know he won't go any further than Nyborg; when he sees the rough sea, he'll get scared and come back."
During the summer before my confirmation, a part of the singers and performers of the Theatre Royal had been in Odense, and had given a series of operas and tragedies there. The whole city was taken with them. I, who was on good terms with the man who delivered the play-bills, saw the performances behind the scenes, and had even acted a part as page, shepherd, etc., and had spoken a few words. My zeal was so great on such occasions, that I stood there fully apparelled when the actors arrived to dress. By these means their attention was turned to me; my childlike manners and my enthusiasm amused them; they talked kindly with me, and I looked up to them as to earthly divinities. Everything which I had formerly heard about my musical voice, and my recitation of poetry, became intelligible to me. It was the theatre for which I was born: it was there that I should become a famous man, and for that reason Copenhagen was the goal of my endeavors. I heard a deal said about the large theatre in Copenhagen, and that there was to be soon what was called the ballet, a something which surpassed both the opera and the play; more especially did I hear the solo-dancer, Madame Schall, spoken of as the first of all. She therefore appeared to me as the queen of everything, and in my imagination I regarded her as the one who would be able to do everything for me, if I could only obtain her support. Filled with these thoughts, I went to the old printer Iversen, one of the most respectable citizens of Odense, and who, as I heard, had had considerable intercourse with the actors when they were in the town. He, I thought, must of necessity be acquainted with the famous dancer; him I would request to give me a letter of introduction to her, and then I would commit the rest to God.
During the summer before my confirmation, some of the singers and performers from the Theatre Royal had been in Odense, putting on a series of operas and tragedies. The whole city was captivated by them. I, being friendly with the guy who handled the playbills, got to see the performances from backstage, and even had a small role as a page, shepherd, etc., where I spoke a few lines. I was so eager during those times that I was dressed and ready before the actors arrived to get ready. Because of this, they noticed me; my youthful demeanor and enthusiasm entertained them, they were friendly with me, and I looked up to them like they were gods. Everything I had previously heard about my singing voice and my poetry recitations made sense. The theater was where I belonged: it was where I would become famous, and for that reason, Copenhagen was my goal. I heard a lot about the grand theater in Copenhagen, and that there was going to be something called ballet, which was supposed to be even better than both opera and plays; I especially heard about the solo dancer, Madame Schall, being the best of all. She seemed to me like the queen of everything, and I imagined that she could help me if I could just get her support. With these thoughts in mind, I went to the old printer Iversen, one of the most respected citizens of Odense, who, as I heard, had interacted quite a bit with the actors when they were in town. I figured he must know the famous dancer, so I wanted to ask him for a letter of introduction to her, and then I would leave the rest up to fate.
The old man saw me for the first time, and heard my petition with much kindness; but he dissuaded me most earnestly from it, and said that I might learn a trade.
The old man saw me for the first time and listened to my request with great kindness, but he strongly discouraged me from it and suggested that I should learn a trade.
"That would actually be a great sin," returned I.
"That would actually be a huge mistake," I replied.
He was startled at the manner in which I said that, and it prepossessed him in my favor; he confessed that he was not personally acquainted with the dancer, but still that he would give me a letter to her. I received one from him, and now believed the goal to be nearly won.
He was surprised by how I said that, and it made him like me more; he admitted that he didn't know the dancer personally, but he would still give me a letter to her. I received a letter from him, and I now believed the goal was almost achieved.
My mother packed up my clothes in a small bundle, and made a bargain with the driver of a post carriage to take me back with him to Copenhagen for three rix dollars banco. The afternoon on which we were to set out came, and my mother accompanied me to the city gate. Here stood my old grandmother; in the last few years her beautiful hair had become grey; she fell upon my neck and wept, without being able to speak a word. I was myself deeply affected. And thus we parted. I saw her no more; she died in the following year.
My mom packed my clothes into a small bundle and made a deal with the coach driver to take me back to Copenhagen for three rix dollars banco. The afternoon we were set to leave arrived, and my mom walked me to the city gate. There stood my grandma; in the last few years, her beautiful hair had turned grey; she fell on my neck and cried, unable to say a word. I was really moved too. And that’s how we said goodbye. I never saw her again; she passed away the following year.
I do not even know her grave; she sleeps in the poor-house burial-ground.
I don't even know where her grave is; she's buried in the poorhouse cemetery.
The postilion blew his horn; it was a glorious sunny afternoon, and the sunshine soon entered into my gay child-like mind. I delighted in every novel object which met my eye, and I was journeying towards the goal of my soul's desires. When, however, I arrived at Nyborg on the great Belt, and was borne in the ship away from my native island, I then truly felt how alone and forlorn I was, and that I had no one else except God in heaven to depend upon.
The postilion blew his horn; it was a beautiful sunny afternoon, and the sunshine quickly brightened my cheerful, child-like mindset. I was fascinated by every new sight that caught my eye, and I was on my way to the dreams of my heart. However, when I reached Nyborg on the Great Belt and was taken away from my home island by the ship, I really felt how alone and abandoned I was, realizing that I had no one to rely on except God in heaven.
As soon as I set foot on Zealand, I stepped behind a shed, which stood on the shore, and falling upon my knees, besought of God to help and guide me aright; I felt myself comforted by so doing, and I firmly trusted in God and my own good fortune. The whole day and the following night I travelled through cities and villages; I stood solitarily by the carriage, and ate my bread while it was repacked.—I thought I was far away in the wide world.
As soon as I arrived in Zealand, I went behind a shed that was by the shore and knelt down, asking God for help and guidance. I felt comforted by this, and I had faith in God and my own good luck. I spent the entire day and the next night traveling through cities and villages; I stood alone by the carriage, eating my bread as it was being packed again. I felt like I was far away in the vast world.
CHAPTER II.
On Monday morning, September 5th, 1819, I saw from the heights of Frederiksburg, Copenhagen, for the first time. At this place I alighted from the carriage, and with my little bundle in my hand, entered the city through the castle garden, the long alley and the suburb.
On Monday morning, September 5th, 1819, I looked down at Frederiksburg, Copenhagen, for the first time. I got out of the carriage at this spot and, with my small bag in hand, I walked into the city through the castle garden, down the long alley, and into the suburbs.
The evening before my arrival had been made memorable by the breaking out of the so-called Jews quarrel, which spread through many European countries. The whole city was in commotion [Footnote: This remarkable disturbance makes a fine incident in Anderson's romance of "Only a Fiddler."—M. H.]; every body was in the streets; the noise and tumult of Copenhagen far exceeded, therefore, any idea which my imagination had formed of this, at that time, to me great city.
The night before I arrived was unforgettable because of the outbreak of the so-called Jews quarrel, which spread to many European countries. The entire city was in chaos [Footnote: This remarkable disturbance makes a fine incident in Anderson's romance of "Only a Fiddler."—M. H.]; everyone was out in the streets; the noise and commotion of Copenhagen far exceeded any idea I had imagined of this, at that time, great city.
With scarcely ten dollars in my pocket, I turned into a small public-house. My first ramble was to the theatre. I went round it many times; I looked up to its walls, and regarded them almost as a home. One of the bill-sellers, who wandered about here each day, observed me, and asked me if I would have a bill. I was so wholly ignorant of the world, that I thought the man wished to give me one; I therefore accepted his offer with thankfulness. He fancied I was making fun of him and was angry; so that I was frightened, and hastened from the place which was to me the dearest in the city. Little did I then imagine that ten years afterwards my first dramatic piece would be represented there, and that in this manner I should make my appearance before the Danish public. On the following day I dressed myself in my confirmation suit, nor were the boots forgotten, although, this time, they were worn, naturally, under my trousers; and thus, in my best attire, with a hat on, which fell half over my eyes, I hastened to present my letter of introduction to the dancer, Madame Schall. Before I rung at the bell, I fell on my knees before the door and prayed God that I here might find help and support. A maid-servant came down the steps with her basket in her hand; she smiled kindly at me, gave me a skilling (Danish), and tripped on. Astonished, I looked at her and the money. I had on my confirmation suit, and thought I must look very smart. How then could she think that I wanted to beg? I called after her.
With barely ten dollars in my pocket, I stepped into a small pub. My first stop was the theater. I circled it several times, gazing up at its walls, nearly considering it a home. One of the bill-sellers, who roamed around there daily, noticed me and asked if I wanted a bill. I was so completely clueless about the world that I thought he wanted to give me one, so I gratefully accepted his offer. He thought I was mocking him and got angry, which scared me, so I quickly left the place that was the most special to me in the city. Little did I know that ten years later, my first play would be performed there, and in that way, I'd make my debut in front of the Danish audience. The next day, I put on my confirmation suit, and I made sure to wear my boots, even though this time they were tucked under my trousers. Dressed in my finest clothes with a hat that hung over my eyes, I rushed to present my letter of introduction to the dancer, Madame Schall. Before I rang the bell, I knelt at the door and prayed to God for help and support. A maid came down the steps with her basket and smiled kindly at me, giving me a skilling (Danish) before continuing on. I stared in amazement at her and the money. I had on my confirmation suit and thought I looked quite sharp. So why did she think I was trying to beg? I called after her.
"Keep it, keep it!" said she to me, in return, and was gone.
"Keep it, keep it!" she said to me, and then she was gone.
At length I was admitted to the dancer; she looked at me in great amazement, and then heard what I had to say. She had not the slightest knowledge of him from whom the letter came, and my whole appearance and behavior seemed very strange to her. I confessed to her my heartfelt inclination for the theatre; and upon her asking me what characters I thought I could represent, I replied, Cinderella. This piece had been performed in Odense by the royal company, and the principal characters had so greatly taken my fancy, that I could play the part perfectly from memory. In the mean time I asked her permission to take off my boots, otherwise I was not light enough for this character; and then taking up my broad hat for a tambourine, I began to dance and sing,—
At last, I was allowed to see the dancer; she looked at me in surprise, then listened to what I had to say. She had no idea who the letter was from, and my whole appearance and behavior seemed very strange to her. I confessed my deep passion for the theater, and when she asked what roles I thought I could play, I replied, Cinderella. This show had been performed in Odense by the royal company, and I was so taken with the main characters that I could play the part perfectly from memory. Meanwhile, I asked her if I could take off my boots, since I wouldn’t be light enough for this role otherwise; then, picking up my broad hat as a tambourine, I started to dance and sing,—
"Here below, nor rank nor riches, Are exempt from pain and woe."
"Here, neither status nor wealth is free from suffering and sorrow."
My strange gestures and my great activity caused the lady to think me out of my mind, and she lost no time in getting rid of me.
My odd behavior and high energy made the lady think I was crazy, and she quickly found a way to get rid of me.
From her I went to the manager of the theatre, to ask for an engagement. He looked at me, and said that I was "too thin for the theatre."
From her, I went to the theater manager to ask for a job. He looked at me and said that I was "too thin for the theater."
"Oh," replied I, "if you will only engage me with one hundred rix dollars banco salary, then I shall soon get fat!" The manager bade me gravely go my way, adding, that they only engaged people of education.
"Oh," I replied, "if you would just hire me with a salary of one hundred rix dollars banco, I would definitely put on weight!" The manager told me seriously to leave, adding that they only hired educated people.
I stood there deeply wounded. I knew no one in all Copenhagen who could give me either counsel or consolation. I thought of death as being the only thing, and the best thing for me; but even then my thoughts rose upwards to God, and with all the undoubting confidence of a child in his father, they riveted themselves upon Him. I wept bitterly, and then I said to myself, "When everything happens really miserably, then he sends help. I have always read so. People must first of all suffer a great deal before they can bring anything to accomplishment."
I stood there feeling deeply hurt. I didn’t know anyone in all of Copenhagen who could give me advice or comfort. I considered death the only option, and the best one for me; but even then, my thoughts turned to God, and with all the unwavering trust of a child in his father, I focused on Him. I cried hard, and then I told myself, "When everything is truly miserable, that’s when help arrives. I’ve always read that. People have to go through a lot of suffering before they can achieve anything."
I now went and bought myself a gallery-ticket for the opera of Paul and Virginia. The separation of the lovers affected me to such a degree, that I burst into violent weeping. A few women, who sat near me, consoled me by saying that it was only a play, and nothing to trouble oneself about; and then they gave me a sausage sandwich. I had the greatest confidence in everybody, and therefore I told them, with the utmost openness, that I did not really weep about Paul and Virginia, but because I regarded the theatre as my Virginia, and that if I must be separated from it, I should be just as wretched as Paul. They looked at me, and seemed not to understand my meaning. I then told them why I had come to Copenhagen, and how forlorn I was there. One of the women, therefore, gave me more, bread andebutter, with fruit and cakes.
I went and bought a cheap ticket for the opera of Paul and Virginia. The separation of the lovers affected me so much that I started crying uncontrollably. A few women sitting near me tried to comfort me by saying it was just a play and not something to get upset about, and then they offered me a sausage sandwich. I felt really comfortable around everyone, so I openly told them that my tears weren’t really for Paul and Virginia but because I saw the theater as my Virginia, and if I had to be separated from it, I would feel just as miserable as Paul. They looked at me like they didn’t quite get what I meant. So, I explained why I had come to Copenhagen and how lonely I felt there. One of the women then gave me more bread and butter, along with some fruit and cakes.
On the following morning I paid my bill, and to my infinite trouble I saw that my whole wealth consisted in one rix dollar banco. It was necessary, therefore, either that I should find some vessel to take me home, or put myself to work with some handicraftsman. I considered that the last was the wiser of the two, because, if I returned to Odense, I must there also put myself to work of a similar kind; besides which, I knew very well that the people there would laugh at me if I came back again. It was to me a matter of indifference what handicraft trade I learned,—I only should make use of it to keep life within me in Copenhagen. I bought a newspaper, therefore. I found among the advertisements that a cabinet maker was in want of an apprentice. The man received me kindly, but said that before I was bound to him he must have an attestation, and my baptismal register from Odense; and that till these came I could remove to his house, and try how the business pleased me. At six o'clock the next morning I went to the workshop: several journeymen were there, and two or three apprentices; but the master was not come. They fell into merry and idle discourse. I was as bashful as a girl, and as they soon perceived this, I was unmercifully rallied upon it. Later in the day the rude jests of the young fellows went so far, that, in remembrance of the scene at the manufactory, I took the resolute determination not to remain a single day longer in the workshop. I went down to the master, therefore, and told him that I could not stand it; he tried to console me, but in vain: I was too much affected, and hastened away.
The next morning, I settled my bill and realized, to my great dismay, that I had only one rix dollar banco to my name. I needed to either find a way to get home or start working with a tradesman. I figured the latter was the smarter choice because, if I went back to Odense, I'd still have to find a job there too. Plus, I knew the people back home would laugh at me if I returned. It didn't matter to me what trade I picked up; I just needed to survive in Copenhagen. So, I bought a newspaper. I found an ad for a cabinet maker looking for an apprentice. The man welcomed me but said I needed to provide a reference and my baptismal record from Odense before I could officially join him. Until then, I could stay at his place and see if I liked the work. The next morning at six, I showed up at the workshop. There were several journeymen and a couple of apprentices, but the master wasn't there yet. They started chatting and joking around. I felt shy and, before long, they were teasing me about it. By the end of the day, their jokes got so out of hand that, remembering my past at the factory, I decided I wouldn’t stay even one more day in the workshop. I went to the master and told him that I couldn't take it anymore. He tried to comfort me, but it didn't work—I was too upset and quickly left.
I now went through the streets; nobody knew me; I was quite forlorn. I then bethought myself of having read in a newspaper in Odense the name of an Italian, Siboni, who was the director of the Academy of Music in Copenhagen. Everybody had praised my voice; perhaps he would assist me for its sake; if not, then that very evening I must seek out the master of some vessel who would take me home again. At the thoughts of the journey home I became still more violently excited, and in this state of suffering I hastened to Siboni's house.
I walked through the streets; nobody recognized me; I felt completely alone. Then I remembered reading in a newspaper in Odense about an Italian named Siboni, who was the director of the Academy of Music in Copenhagen. Everyone had praised my voice; maybe he would help me because of it. If not, then that very evening I would have to find the captain of a ship to take me home. The thought of the journey back got me even more worked up, and in this state of distress, I hurried to Siboni’s house.
It happened that very day that he had a large party to dinner; our celebrated composer Weyse was there, the poet Baggesen, and other guests. The housekeeper opened the door to me, and to her I not only related my wish to be engaged as a singer, but also the whole history of my life. She listened to me with the greatest sympathy, and then she left me. I waited a long time, and she must have been repeating to the company the greater part of what I had said, for, in a while, the door opened, and all the guests came out and looked at me. They would have me to sing, and Siboni heard me attentively. I gave some scenes out of Holberg, and repeated a few poems; and then, all at once, the sense of my unhappy condition so overcame me that I burst into tears; the whole company applauded.
It just so happened that same day he was hosting a big dinner party; our famous composer Weyse was there, the poet Baggesen, and other guests. The housekeeper answered the door when I arrived, and I shared not only my desire to work as a singer but also the entire story of my life. She listened with great sympathy and then left me. I waited for a long time, and she must have been telling the guests most of what I had shared, because after a while, the door opened, and all the guests came out to look at me. They wanted me to sing, and Siboni listened very carefully. I performed some scenes from Holberg and recited a few poems; then, all of a sudden, the weight of my unfortunate situation hit me so hard that I started to cry, and the whole group applauded.
"I prophesy," said Baggesen, "that one day something will come out of him; but do not be vain when, some day, the whole public shall applaud thee!" and then he added something about pure, true nature, and that this is too often destroyed by years and by intercourse with mankind. I did not understand it all.
"I predict," said Baggesen, "that one day something will come from him; but don’t get too arrogant when, someday, the entire public applauds you!" Then he mentioned something about pure, true nature and how it’s often damaged over the years and through interactions with people. I didn’t catch all of it.
Siboni promised to cultivate my voice, and that I therefore should succeed as singer at the Theatre Royal. It made me very happy; I laughed and wept; and as the housekeeper led me out and saw the excitement under which I labored, she stroked my cheeks, and said that on the following day I should go to Professor Weyse, who meant to do something for me, and upon whom I could depend.
Siboni promised to help my singing voice develop, which meant I would succeed as a singer at the Theatre Royal. This made me incredibly happy; I laughed and cried. As the housekeeper took me out and noticed my excitement, she gently stroked my cheeks and said that the next day I would go to Professor Weyse, who intended to do something for me and whom I could rely on.
I went to Weyse, who himself had risen from poverty; he had deeply felt and fully comprehended my unhappy situation, and had raised by a subscription seventy rix dollars banco for me. I then wrote my first letter to my mother, a letter full of rejoicing, for the good fortune of the whole world seemed poured upon me. My mother in her joy showed my letter to all her friends; many heard of it with astonishment; others laughed at it, for what was to be the end of it? In order to understand Siboni it was necessary for me to learn something of German. A woman of Copenhagen, with whom I travelled from Odense to this city, and who gladly, according to her means, would have supported me, obtained, through one of her acquaintance, a language-master, who gratuitously gave me some German lessons, and thus I learned a few phrases in that language. Siboni received me into his house, and gave me food and instruction; but half a year afterwards my voice broke, or was injured, in consequence of my being compelled to wear bad shoes through the winter, and having besides no warm under-clothing. There was no longer any prospect that I should become a fine singer. Siboni told me that candidly, and counselled me to go to Odense, and there learn a trade.
I went to Weyse, who had himself come up from poverty; he understood my tough situation really well and raised seventy rix dollars banco for me through a fundraising effort. I then wrote my first letter to my mom, a letter full of joy, because it felt like all the good fortune in the world had come my way. My mom, in her excitement, shared my letter with all her friends; some were astonished, while others laughed at it, wondering how it would all turn out. To understand Siboni, I needed to learn a bit of German. A woman from Copenhagen, who I traveled with from Odense to this city, was willing to help me out as best as she could. Through one of her contacts, she found me a language tutor who gave me some German lessons for free, so I picked up a few phrases. Siboni took me into his home, providing me with food and guidance; however, six months later, my voice broke or got damaged because I had to wear poor-quality shoes during the winter and didn’t have any warm underclothing. The chance of me becoming a great singer was gone. Siboni told me that honestly and advised me to go to Odense to learn a trade.
I, who in the rich colors of fancy had described to my mother the happiness which I actually felt, must now return home and become an object of derision! Agonized with this thought, I stood as if crushed to the earth. Yet, precisely amid this apparently great un-happiness lay the stepping-stones of a better fortune.
I, who had painted a vivid picture of the happiness I truly felt to my mother, must now go home and become a target for mockery! Tortured by this thought, I stood there, feeling completely defeated. Yet, right in the middle of this apparent misery lay the foundation for a brighter future.
As I found myself again abandoned, and was pondering by myself upon what was best for me next to do, it occurred to me that the Poet Guldberg, a brother of the Colonel of that name in Odense, who had shown me so much kindness, lived in Copenhagen. He lived at that time near the new church-yard outside the city, of which he has so beautifully sung in his poems. I wrote to him, and related to him everything; afterwards I went to him myself, and found him surrounded with books and tobacco pipes. The strong, warm-hearted man received me kindly; and as he saw by my letter how incorrectly I wrote, he promised to give me instruction in the Danish tongue; he examined me a little in German, and thought that it would be well if he could improve me in this respect also. More than this, he made me a present of the profits of a little work which he had just then published; it became known, and I believe they exceeded one hundred rix dollars banco; the excellent Weyse and others also supported me.
As I found myself abandoned once again and was thinking about what to do next, it hit me that Poet Guldberg, the brother of the Colonel by the same name in Odense, who had been so kind to me, lived in Copenhagen. At that time, he lived near the new cemetery just outside the city, which he had beautifully described in his poems. I wrote to him and shared everything; later, I visited him in person and discovered him surrounded by books and tobacco pipes. The strong, warm-hearted man welcomed me kindly, and when he noticed from my letter how poorly I wrote, he offered to teach me Danish. He also gave me a quick test in German and thought it would be good to help me improve in that too. On top of that, he gifted me the earnings from a little work he had just published; it gained some attention, and I believe the profits exceeded one hundred rix dollars banco; the wonderful Weyse and others also supported me.
It was too expensive for me to lodge at a public house; I was therefore obliged to seek for private lodgings. My ignorance of the world led me to a widow who lived in one of the most disreputable streets of Copenhagen; she was inclined to receive me into her house, and I never suspected what kind of world it was which moved around me. She was a stern, but active dame; she described to me the other people of the city in such horrible colors as made me suppose that I was in the only safe haven there. I was to pay twenty rix dollars monthly for one room, which was nothing but an empty store-room, without window and light, but I had permission to sit in her parlor. I was to make trial of it at first for two days, meantime on the following day she told me that I could decide to stay or immediately go. I, who so easily attach myself to people, already liked her, and felt myself at home with her; but more than sixteen dollars per month Weyse had told me I must not pay, and this was the sum which I had received from him and Guldberg, so that no surplus remained to me for my other expenses. This troubled me very much; when she was gone out of the room, I seated myself on the sofa, and contemplated the portrait of her deceased husband.
It was too expensive for me to stay at an inn, so I had to look for private lodgings. My lack of experience led me to a widow who lived in one of the roughest streets of Copenhagen. She was willing to take me in, and I had no idea what kind of world surrounded me. She was a strict but energetic woman; she painted the other people in the city in such dreadful terms that I thought I was in the only safe place available. I was to pay twenty rix dollars a month for a room, which was really just an empty storeroom without a window or light, but I was allowed to use her living room. I was supposed to try it out for two days, and the next day she told me I could decide to stay or leave right away. Since I easily get attached to people, I already liked her and felt at home with her. However, Weyse had advised me that I shouldn't pay more than sixteen dollars a month, and that's the amount I had received from him and Guldberg, leaving me with no extra money for other expenses. This worried me a lot; when she left the room, I sat on the sofa and looked at the portrait of her late husband.
I was so wholly a child, that as the tears rolled down my own cheeks, I wetted the eyes of the portrait with my tears, in order that the dead man might feel how troubled I was, and influence the heart of his wife. She must have seen that nothing more was to be drained out of me, for when she returned to the room she said that she would receive me into her house for the sixteen rix dollars. I thanked God and the dead man. I found myself in the midst of the mysteries of Copenhagen, but I did not understand how to interpret them. There was in the house in which I lived a friendly young lady, who lived alone, and often wept; every evening her old father came and paid her a visit. I opened the door to him frequently; he wore a plain sort of coat, had his throat very much tied up, and his hat pulled over his eyes. He always drank his tea with her, and nobody dared to be present, because he was not fond of company: she never seemed very glad at his coming. [Footnote: This character will be recognised in Steffen Margaret, in Only a Fiddler.—M. H.] Many years afterwards, when I had reached another step on the ladder of life, when the refined world of fashionable life was opened before me, I saw one evening, in the midst of a brilliantly lighted hall, a polite old gentleman covered with orders—that was the old father in the shabby coat, he whom I had let in. He had little idea that I had opened the door to him when he played his part as guest, but I, on my side, then had also no thought but for my own comedy-playing; that is to say, I was at that time so much of a child that I played with my puppet-theatre and made my dolls' clothes; and in order that I might obtain gaily-colored fragments for this purpose, I used to go to the shops and ask for patterns of various kinds of stuffs and ribbons. I myself did not possess a single farthing; my landlady received all the money each month in advance; only now and then, when I did any errands for her, she gave me something, and that went in the purchase of paper or for old play-books. I was now very happy, and was doubly so because Professor Guldberg had induced Lindgron, the first comic actor at the theatre, to give me instruction. He gave me several parts in Holberg to learn, such as Hendrik, and the Silly Boy, for which I had shown some talent. My desire, however, was to play the Correggio. I obtained permission to learn this piece in my own way, although Lindgron asked, with comic gravity, whether I expected to resemble the great painter? I, however, repeated to him the soliloquy in the picture gallery with so much feeling, that the old man clapped me on the shoulder and said, "Feeling you have; but you must not be an actor, though God knows what else. Speak to Guldberg about your learning Latin: that always opens the way for a student."
I was so much a child that as I cried, my tears dropped onto the portrait, hoping the dead man would sense my distress and influence his wife's heart. She must have realized I was completely drained, because when she returned, she offered to take me into her home for sixteen rix dollars. I thanked God and the dead man. I found myself amidst the mysteries of Copenhagen, but I didn’t know how to make sense of them. In the house where I lived, there was a kind young woman who lived alone and often cried; each evening, her elderly father would visit. I frequently opened the door for him; he wore a simple coat, had his throat heavily wrapped, and his hat pulled down over his eyes. He always had tea with her, and no one dared to stay because he didn’t like company; she never seemed very happy when he came. [Footnote: This character will be recognized in Steffen Margaret, in Only a Fiddler.—M. H.] Many years later, when I had climbed another rung on the ladder of life and the refined world of social life was opened to me, I saw one evening in a brilliantly lit hall a polite old gentleman covered in medals—that was the old father in the shabby coat, the one I had let in. He had no idea that I had opened the door for him when he played his role as a guest, but at that time, I was only focused on my own little performance; I was so much of a child that I played with my puppet theater and made clothes for my dolls. To get colorful scraps for this, I went to shops and asked for fabric and ribbon samples. I didn’t have a single farthing; my landlady took all the rent money upfront every month. Only occasionally, when I ran errands for her, would she give me a little something, which I used to buy paper or old playbooks. I was very happy and even happier because Professor Guldberg had persuaded Lindgron, the top comedian at the theater, to teach me. He gave me several roles in Holberg to learn, like Hendrik and the Silly Boy, for which I had shown some talent. My true desire, however, was to play Correggio. I got permission to learn this piece my own way, even though Lindgron jokingly asked if I expected to become like the great painter. Still, I performed the soliloquy in the gallery with so much emotion that the old man patted me on the shoulder and said, "You have feeling; but you must not be an actor, though God knows what else. Talk to Guldberg about learning Latin: that always opens doors for a student."
I a student! That was a thought which had never come before into my head. The theatre lay nearer to me, and was dearer too; but Latin I had also always wished to learn. But before I spoke on the subject to Guldberg, I mentioned it to the lady who gave me gratuitous instruction in German; but she told me that Latin was the most expensive language in the world, and that it was not possible to gain free instruction in it. Guldberg, however, managed it so that one of his friends, out of kindness, gave me two lessons a week.
I’m a student! That was a thought that had never crossed my mind before. The theater was closer to me and meant more to me too; but I had always wanted to learn Latin as well. Before I brought it up with Guldberg, I mentioned it to the lady who was giving me free German lessons; she told me that Latin was the most expensive language in the world and that it wasn’t possible to get free lessons in it. However, Guldberg arranged for one of his friends to kindly give me two lessons a week.
The dancer, Dahlen, whose wife at that time was one of the first artistes on the Danish boards, opened his house to me. I passed many an evening there, and the gentle, warm-hearted lady was kind to me. The husband took me with him to the dancing-school, and that was to me one step nearer to the theatre. There stood I for whole mornings, with a long staff, and stretched my legs; but notwithstanding all my good-will, it was Dahlen's opinion that I should never get beyond a figurante. One advantage, however, I had gained; I might in an evening make my appearance behind the scenes of the theatre; nay, even sit upon the farthest bench in the box of the figurantes. It seemed to me as if I had got my foot just within the theatre, although I had never yet been upon the stage itself.
The dancer, Dahlen, whose wife was one of the first performers on the Danish stage at that time, welcomed me into his home. I spent many evenings there, and his kind, warm-hearted wife was very nice to me. Dahlen took me with him to the dance school, bringing me a step closer to the theater. I stood there for entire mornings, holding a long staff, stretching my legs; but despite all my effort, Dahlen believed I would never advance beyond being a background dancer. However, I did gain one advantage; I could appear backstage at the theater in the evenings, or even sit on the last bench in the background dancers' box. It felt as though I had just gotten my foot in the door of the theater, even though I had never actually been on stage.
One night the little opera of the Two Little Savoyards was given; in the market scene every one, even the mechanists, might go up to help in filling the stage; I heard them say so, and rouging myself a little, I went happily up with the others. I was in my ordinary dress; the confirmation coat, which still held together, although, with regard to brushing and repairs, it lookedebut miserably, and the great hat which fell down over my face. I was very conscious of the ill condition of my attire, and would have been glad to have concealed it; but, through the endeavor to do so, my movements became still more angular. I did not dare to hold myself upright, because, by so doing, I exhibited all the more plainly the shortness of my waistcoat, which I had outgrown. I had the feeling very plainly that people would make themselves merry about me; yet, at this moment, I felt nothing but the happiness of stepping for the first time before the foot-lamps. My heart beat; I stepped forward; there came up one of the singers, who at that time was much thought of, but now is forgotten; he took me by the hand, and jeeringly wished me happiness on my debut. "Allow me to introduce you to the Danish public," said he, and drew me forward to the lamps. The people would laugh at me—I felt it; the tears rolled down my cheeks; I tore myself loose, and left the stage full of anguish.
One night, the little opera of the Two Little Savoyards was performed; during the market scene, everyone, even the stagehands, could join in to help fill the stage. I heard them say so, and after putting on a bit of makeup, I happily joined in with the others. I was in my usual clothes: the confirmation coat, which still held together, even though it looked pretty shabby and needed some brushing and repairs, and the large hat that drooped down over my face. I was very aware of how bad I looked and would have preferred to hide it; but in trying to do so, I moved even more awkwardly. I didn't dare stand up straight because that would only highlight how short my waistcoat had become since I'd outgrown it. I distinctly felt that people would laugh at me; yet, in that moment, all I felt was the joy of stepping out in front of the footlights for the first time. My heart raced; I stepped forward, and one of the singers, who was quite popular at the time but is now forgotten, came up to me, took my hand, and mockingly wished me happiness on my debut. "Let me introduce you to the Danish audience," he said, pulling me forward to the lights. I could sense the laughter from the audience—I felt it; tears streamed down my cheeks as I tore myself away and left the stage, overwhelmed with anguish.
Shortly after this, Dahlen arranged a ballet of Armida, in which I received a little part: I was a spirit. In this ballet I became acquainted with the lady of Professor Heiberg, the wife of the poet, and now a highly esteemed actress on the Danish stage; she, then a little girl, had also a part in it, and our names stood printed in the bill. That was a moment in my life, when my name was printed! I fancied I could see it a nimbus of immortality. I was continually looking at the printed paper. I carried the programme of the ballet with me at night to bed, lay and read my name by candle light—in short, I was happy.
Shortly after this, Dahlen arranged a ballet of Armida, where I had a small role: I was a spirit. In this ballet, I met the wife of Professor Heiberg, the poet, who is now a highly respected actress in the Danish theater; she was just a little girl at the time and also had a role in it, and our names were printed on the program. That was a moment in my life when my name was actually printed! I imagined it felt like a halo of immortality. I kept looking at the printed paper. I carried the program for the ballet to bed with me at night, lying there and reading my name by candlelight—in short, I was happy.
I had now been two years in Copenhagen. The sum of money which had been collected for me was expended, but I was ashamed of making known my wants and my necessities. I had removed to the house of a woman whose husband, when living, was master of a trading-vessel, and there I had only lodging and breakfast. Those were heavy, dark days for me.
I had now been in Copenhagen for two years. The money that had been raised for me was spent, but I was too embarrassed to share my needs and struggles. I had moved to a house owned by a woman whose husband, when he was alive, was the captain of a trading ship, and there I only had a place to sleep and breakfast. Those were tough, gloomy days for me.
The lady believed that I went out to dine with various families, whilst I only ate a little bread on one of the benches in the royal garden. Very rarely did I venture into some of the lowest eating-houses, and choose there the least expensive dish. I was, in truth, very forlorn; but I did not feel the whole weight of my condition. Every person who spoke to me kindly I took for a faithful friend. God was with me in my little room; and many a night, when I have said my evening prayer, I asked of Him, like a child, "Will things soon be better with me?" I had the notion, that as it went with me on New Year's Day, so would it go with me through the whole year; and my highest wishes were to obtain a part in a play.
The lady thought I was going out to dinner with different families, while I was really just having a bit of bread on one of the benches in the royal garden. I rarely went to the cheapest restaurants and picked the least expensive dish there. Honestly, I felt quite lonely; but I didn't fully grasp the weight of my situation. Anyone who spoke to me kindly felt like a true friend. God was with me in my small room; and many nights, as I said my evening prayer, I asked Him, like a child, "Will things get better for me soon?" I believed that how I spent New Year's Day would determine the rest of my year; my biggest wish was to have a role in a play.
It was now New Year's Day. The theatre was closed, and only a half-blind porter sat at the entrance to the stage, on which there was not a soul. I stole past him with beating heart, got between the movable scenes and the curtain, and advanced to the open part of the stage. Here I fell down upon my knees, but not a single verse for declamation could I recall to my memory. I then said aloud the Lord's Prayer, and went out with the persuasion, that because I had spoken from the stage on New Year's Day, I should in the course of the year succeed in speaking still more, as well as in having a part assigned to me.
It was New Year's Day. The theater was closed, and only a half-blind porter sat at the entrance to the stage, which was empty. I quietly slipped past him with a racing heart, squeezed between the movable scenes and the curtain, and made my way to the open part of the stage. Here I knelt down, but I couldn't remember a single line to recite. I then recited the Lord's Prayer out loud and left with the belief that since I had spoken from the stage on New Year's Day, I would eventually speak more throughout the year and also get a part assigned to me.
During the two years of my residence in Copenhagen I had never been out into the open country. Once only had I been in the park, and there I had been deeply engrossed by studying the diversions of the people and their gay tumult. In the spring of the third year, I went out for the first time amid the verdure of a spring morning. It was into the garden of the Fredericksberg, the summer residence of Frederick VI. I stood still suddenly under the first large budding beech tree. The sun made the leaves transparent—there was a fragrance, a freshness—the birds sang. I was overcome by it—I shouted aloud for joy, threw my arms around the tree and kissed it.
During the two years I lived in Copenhagen, I had never ventured out into the countryside. I had only been to the park once, where I was completely absorbed in watching the people and their lively energy. In the spring of my third year, I finally stepped out into the greenery on a spring morning. I went to the garden of Frederiksberg, the summer residence of Frederick VI. I suddenly stopped beneath the first large budding beech tree. The sun made the leaves seem almost transparent—there was a sweet scent, a refreshing air—the birds were singing. I was so overwhelmed that I shouted with joy, wrapped my arms around the tree, and kissed it.
"Is he mad?" said a man close behind me. It was one of the servants of the castle. I ran away, shocked at what I had heard, and then went thoughtfully and calmly back to the city.
"Is he crazy?" said a guy close behind me. It was one of the servants from the castle. I ran away, shocked by what I had heard, and then went back to the city, thinking and calm.
My voice had, in the mean time, in part regained its richness. The singing master of the choir-school heard it, offered me a place in the school, thinking that, by singing with the choir, I should acquire greater freedom in the exercise of my powers on the stage. I thought that I could see by this means a new way opened for me. I went from the dancing-school into the singing-school, and entered the choir, now as a shepherd, and now as a warrior. The theatre was my world. I had permission to go in the pit, and thus it fared ill with my Latin. I heard many people say that there was no Latin required for singing in the choir, and that without the knowledge of this language it was possible to become a great actor. I thought there was good sense in that, and very often, either with or without reason, excused myself from my Latin evening lesson. Guldberg became aware of this, and for the first time I received a reprimand which almost crushed me to the earth. I fancy that no criminal could suffer more by hearing the sentence of death pronounced upon him. My distress of mind must have expressed itself in my countenance, for he said "Do not act any more comedy." But it was no comedy to me.
My voice had partly regained its richness in the meantime. The choir school’s singing master noticed it and offered me a spot in the school, thinking that singing with the choir would help me gain more freedom in expressing my talents on stage. I believed this opened a new path for me. I moved from the dance school to the singing school and joined the choir, playing roles as both a shepherd and a warrior. The theater was my world. I was allowed to go into the pit, which didn't help my Latin studies. I heard many say that you didn't need Latin to sing in the choir and that you could become a great actor without knowing the language. I thought there was some truth to that, and often, with or without a reason, I let myself skip my Latin evening lessons. Guldberg noticed this, and for the first time, I received a reprimand that nearly crushed me. I imagine no criminal could feel worse than hearing their death sentence. My distress must have been visible on my face, as he said, "Don't act like it's a joke anymore." But it wasn’t a joke to me.
I was now to learn Latin no longer. I felt my dependence upon the kindness of others in such a degree as I had never done before. Occasionally I had had gloomy and earnest thoughts in looking forward to my future, because I was in want of the very necessaries of life; at other times I had the perfect thoughtlessness of a child.
I was no longer going to learn Latin. I felt more dependent on the kindness of others than ever before. Sometimes, I had dark and serious thoughts about my future because I lacked the basic necessities of life; at other times, I experienced the carefree mindset of a child.
The widow of the celebrated Danish statesman, Christian Colbj÷rnsen, and her daughter, were the first ladies of high rank who cordially befriended the poor lad; who listened to me with sympathy, and saw me frequently. Mrs. von Colbj÷rnsen resided, during the summer, at Bakkehus, where also lived the poet Rahbek and his interesting wife. Rahbek never spoke to me; but his lively and kind-hearted wife often amused herself with me. I had at that time again begun to write a tragedy, which I read aloud to her. Immediately on hearing the first scenes, she exclaimed, "But you have actually taken whole passages out of Oehlenschl ger and Ingemann."
The widow of the famous Danish politician, Christian Colbjørnsen, and her daughter were the first high-ranking women who genuinely befriended the poor boy; they listened to me with kindness and saw me often. Mrs. von Colbjørnsen spent her summers at Bakkehus, where the poet Rahbek and his fascinating wife also lived. Rahbek never talked to me, but his lively and kind-hearted wife often enjoyed my company. At that time, I had started writing a tragedy again, which I read aloud to her. As soon as she heard the first scenes, she exclaimed, "But you’ve actually taken whole passages from Oehlenschläger and Ingemann."
"Yes, but they are so beautiful!" replied I in my simplicity, and read on.
"Yes, but they are so beautiful!" I answered naively, and continued reading.
One day, when I was going from her to Mrs. von Colbj÷rnsen, she gave me a handful of roses, and said, "Will you take them up to her? It will certainly give her pleasure to receive them from the hand of a poet." These words were said half in jest; but it was the first time that anybody had connected my name with that of poet. It went through me, body and soul, and tears filled my eyes. I know that, from this very moment, my mind was awoke to writing and poetry. Formerly it had been merely an amusement by way of variety from my puppet-theatre.
One day, as I was heading from her place to Mrs. von Colbjørnsen's, she handed me a handful of roses and said, "Will you take these to her? I'm sure it will make her happy to receive them from a poet." She said this partly as a joke, but it was the first time anyone had linked my name to being a poet. It struck me deeply, both in body and soul, and tears filled my eyes. I realized that from that moment on, my mind was opened to writing and poetry. Before this, it had simply been a hobby, a way to mix things up from my puppet theater.
At Bakkehus lived also Professor Thiele, a young student at that time, but even then the editor of the Danish popular legends, and known to the public as the solver of Baggesen's riddle, and as the writer of beautiful poetry. He was possessed of sentiment, true inspiration, and heart. He had calmly and attentively watched the unfolding of my mind, until we now became friends. He was one of the few who, at that time, spoke the truth of me, when other people were making themselves merry at my expense, and having only eyes for that which was ludicrous in me. People had called me, in jest, the little orator, and, as such, I was an object of curiosity. They found amusement in me, and I mistook every smile for a smile of applause. One of my later friends has told me that it probably was about this period that he saw me for the first time. It was in the drawing-room of a rich tradesman, where people were making themselves very merry with me. They desired me to repeat one of my poems, and, as I did this with great feeling, the merriment was changed into sympathy with me.
At Bakkehus also lived Professor Thiele, who was a young student back then but already the editor of Danish popular legends. He was known to the public as the one who solved Baggesen's riddle and as a writer of beautiful poetry. He had sentiment, true inspiration, and heart. He had watched the development of my mind with calmness and attention, and that’s how we became friends. He was one of the few at that time who spoke the truth about me, while others were just having fun at my expense, only seeing the ridiculous parts of me. People jokingly called me the little orator, and I became an object of curiosity. They found me amusing, and I mistook every smile for applause. One of my later friends told me that he probably saw me for the first time around this period. It was in the drawing-room of a wealthy tradesman, where people were enjoying themselves with me. They wanted me to recite one of my poems, and as I did so with great feeling, the merriment turned into sympathy for me.
I heard it said every day, what a good thing it would be for me if I could study. People advised me to devote myself to science, but no one moved one step to enable me to do so; it was labor enough for me to keep body and soul together. It therefore occurred to me to write a tragedy, which I would offer to the Theatre Royal, and would then begin to study with the money which I should thus obtain. Whilst Guldberg instructed me in Danish, I had written a tragedy from a German story, called The Chapel in the Wood; yet as this was done merely as an exercise in the language, and, as he forbade me in the most decided manner to bring it out, I would not do so. I originated my own material, therefore; and within fourteen days I wrote my national tragedy called the Robbers in Wissenberg (the name of a little village in Funen.) There was scarcely a word in it correctly written, as I had no person to help me, because I meant it to be anonymous; there was, nevertheless, one person admitted into the secret, namely, the young lady whom I had met with in Odense, during my preparation for confirmation, the only one who at that time showed me kindness and good-will. It was through her that I was introduced to the Colbj÷rnsen family, and thus known and received in all those circles of which the one leads into the other. She paid some one to prepare a legible copy of my piece, and undertook to present it for perusal. After an interval of six weeks, I received it back, accompanied by a letter which said the people did not frequently wish to retain works which betrayed, in so great a degree, a want of elementary knowledge.
I heard people say every day how great it would be for me to study. They suggested I should focus on science, but no one lifted a finger to help me do it; it was hard enough just to survive. So, I thought about writing a tragedy to submit to the Theatre Royal and use the money I got from it to start studying. While Guldberg was teaching me Danish, I wrote a tragedy based on a German story, called The Chapel in the Wood; however, since it was just a language exercise and he strongly advised me not to publish it, I decided against that. I created my own material instead, and in just two weeks, I wrote my national tragedy called The Robbers in Wissenberg (the name of a small village in Funen). There was hardly a word in it that was correctly spelled since I had no one to help me, as I intended for it to be anonymous; however, there was one person who knew my secret, the young lady I met in Odense while preparing for confirmation, the only one who showed me kindness and goodwill. Through her, I was introduced to the Colbjørnsen family, which opened doors to other social circles. She paid someone to make a readable copy of my play and took on the task of presenting it for review. After six weeks, I got it back along with a letter saying that people don’t usually want to keep works that show such a lack of basic knowledge.
It was just at the close of the theatrical season, in May, 1823, that I received a letter from the directors, by which I was dismissed from the singing and dancing school, the letter adding also, that my participation in the school-teaching could lead to no advantage for me, but that they wished some of my many friends would enable me to receive an education, without which, talent availed nothing. I felt myself again, as it were, cast out into the wide world without help and without support. It was absolutely necessary that I should write a piece for the theatre, and that must be accepted; there was no other salvation for me. I wrote, therefore, a tragedy founded on a passage in history, and I called it Alfsol. I was delighted with the first act, and with this I immediately went to the Danish translator of Shakspeare, Admiral Wulff, now deceased, who good-naturedly heard me read it. In after years I met with the most cordial reception in his family. At that time I also introduced myself to our celebrated physician Oersted, and his house has remained to me to this day an affectionate home, to which my heart has firmly attached itself, and where I find my oldest and most unchangeable friends.
It was right at the end of the theater season, in May 1823, when I got a letter from the directors saying I was dismissed from the singing and dancing school. The letter also mentioned that my involvement in teaching wouldn’t benefit me, but they hoped some of my numerous friends could help me get an education, as talent meant nothing without it. I felt like I was thrown back into the world without any help or support. It was essential for me to write a piece for the theater, and it *had* to be accepted; there was no other way out for me. So, I wrote a tragedy based on a historical event and titled it Alfsol. I was thrilled with the first act and immediately took it to the Danish translator of Shakespeare, Admiral Wulff, who has since passed away, and he kindly listened as I read it. Years later, I was warmly welcomed into his family. During that time, I also introduced myself to our renowned physician Oersted, and his home has remained a cherished place for me, where my heart has formed lasting connections and where I find my oldest and most steadfast friends.
A favorite preacher, the rural dean Gutfeldt, was living at that time, and he it was who exerted himself most earnestly for my tragedy, which was now finished; and having written a letter of recommendation, he sent it to the managers of the theatre. I was suspended between hope and fear. In the course of the summer I endured bitter want, but I told it to no one, else many a one, whose sympathy I had experienced, would have helped me to the utmost of their means. A false shame prevented me from confessing what I endured. Still happiness filled my heart. I read then for the first time the works of Walter Scott. A new world was opened to me: I forgot the reality, and gave to the circulating library that which should have provided me with a dinner.
A favorite preacher, the rural dean Gutfeldt, was living at that time, and he was the one who worked the hardest for my play, which was now completed. After writing a letter of recommendation, he sent it to the theater managers. I was caught between hope and fear. During the summer, I faced serious hardship, but I didn’t tell anyone; otherwise, those who had offered their support would have helped me as much as they could. A false sense of shame held me back from admitting what I was going through. Still, happiness filled my heart. I read the works of Walter Scott for the first time then. A whole new world opened up to me: I forgot my reality and gave the circulating library what should have been my dinner.
The present conference councillor, Collin, one of the most distinguished men of Denmark, who unites with the greatest ability the noblest and best heart, to whom I looked up with confidence in all things, who has been a second father to me, and in whose children I have found brothers and sisters;—this excellent man I saw now for the first time. He was at that time director of the Theatre Royal, and people universally told me that it would be the best thing for me if he would interest himself on my behalf: it was either Oersted or Gutfeldt who first mentioned me to him; and now for the first time I went to that house which was to become so dear to me. Before the ramparts of Copenhagen were extended, this house lay outside the gate, and served as a summer residence to the Spanish Ambassador; now, however, it stands, a crooked, angular frame-work building, in a respectable street; an old-fashioned wooden balcony leads to the entrance, and a great tree spreads its green branches over the court and its pointed gables. It was to become a paternal house to me. Who does not willingly linger over the description of home?
The current conference counselor, Collin, one of the most esteemed individuals in Denmark, who combines exceptional skill with a noble and kind heart, someone I have always looked up to with complete trust, who has been like a second father to me, and in whose children I have found siblings;—this remarkable man I saw for the first time now. At that time, he was the director of the Theatre Royal, and everyone universally told me that it would be the best thing for me if he took an interest in my work: it was either Oersted or Gutfeldt who first brought me up to him; and now, for the first time, I went to that place which would become so dear to me. Before the ramparts of Copenhagen expanded, this house was outside the gate and served as a summer residence for the Spanish Ambassador; now, however, it stands as a crooked, angular wooden building on a respectable street; an old-fashioned wooden balcony leads to the entrance, and a large tree spreads its green branches over the courtyard and its pointed gables. It was to become a home to me. Who doesn’t enjoy taking a moment to reflect on the idea of home?
I discovered only the man of business in Collin; his conversation was grave and in few words. I went away, without expecting any sympathy from this man; and yet it was precisely Collin who in all sincerity thought for my advantage, and who worked for it silently, as he had done for others, through the whole course of his active life. But at that time I did not understand the apparent calmness with which he listened, whilst his heart bled for the afflicted, and he always labored for them with zeal and success, and knew how to help them. He touched so lightly upon my tragedy, which had been sent to him, and on account of which many people had overwhelmed me with flattering speeches, that I regarded him rather as an enemy than a protector.
I saw only a businessman in Collin; his conversation was serious and brief. I walked away, not expecting any sympathy from him; yet it was exactly Collin who genuinely cared about my well-being and worked quietly for it, just as he had for others throughout his entire career. At that time, I didn’t recognize the calm way he listened while his heart ached for those in distress, as he always worked tirelessly and successfully to help them. He brushed lightly over my situation, which many people had discussed with over-the-top compliments, leading me to see him more as an adversary than a supporter
In a few day I was sent for by the directors of the theatre, when Rahbek gave me back my play as useless for the stage; adding, however, that there were so many grains of corn scattered in it, that it was hoped, that perhaps, by earnest study, after going to school and the previous knowledge of all that is requisite, I might, some time, be able to write a work which should be worthy of being acted on the Danish stage.
In a few days, the theater directors called for me, and Rahbek returned my play, saying it wasn't suitable for the stage. However, he mentioned that there were many valuable ideas in it, and they hoped that with dedicated study and the necessary background knowledge, I might eventually write something worthy of being performed on the Danish stage.
In order therefore to obtain the means for my support and the necessary instruction, Collin recommended me to King Frederick the Sixth, who granted to me a certain sum annually for some years; and, by means of Collin also, the directors of the high schools allowed me to receive free instruction in the grammar school at Slagelse, where just then a new, and, as was said, an active rector was appointed. I was almost dumb with astonishment: never had I thought that my life would take this direction, although I had no correct idea of the path which I had now to tread. I was to go with the earliest mail to Slagelse, which lay twelve Danish miles from Copenhagen, to the place where also the poets Baggesen and Ingemann had gone to school. I was to receive money quarterly from Collin; I was to apply to him in all cases, and he it was who was to ascertain my industry and my progress.
To secure my living and the education I needed, Collin recommended me to King Frederick the Sixth, who granted me a certain annual amount for several years. Thanks to Collin, the directors of the high schools also allowed me to get free instruction at the grammar school in Slagelse, where a new and reportedly energetic rector had just been appointed. I was speechless with amazement; I had never imagined my life would take this turn, even though I had no clear idea of the path I was about to follow. I was set to travel by the earliest mail to Slagelse, which was twelve Danish miles from Copenhagen, the same place where poets Baggesen and Ingemann had gone to school. I was to receive money from Collin every quarter; I had to consult him in all matters, and he was responsible for tracking my dedication and progress.
I went to him the second time to express to him my thanks. Mildly and kindly he said to me, "Write to me without restraint about everything which you require, and tell me how it goes with you." From this hour I struck root in his heart; no father could have been more to me than he was, and is; none could have more heartily rejoiced in my happiness, and my after reception with the public; none have shared my sorrow more kindly; and I am proud to say that one of the most excellent men which Denmark possesses feels towards me as towards his own child. His beneficence was conferred without his making me feel it painful either by word or look. That was not the case with every one to whom, in this change of my fortunes, I had to offer my thanks; I was told to think of my inconceivable happiness and my poverty; in Collin's words was expressed the warm-heartedness of a father, and to him it was that properly I was indebted for everything.
I went to him a second time to express my gratitude. Gently and kindly, he said to me, "Feel free to write to me about anything you need, and let me know how you're doing." From that moment, I planted myself in his heart; no father could have meant more to me than he did, and does. No one celebrated my happiness and my later acceptance by the public more wholeheartedly, and no one has shared my sorrow more compassionately. I'm proud to say that one of the finest men in Denmark feels toward me like a parent. His generosity was given without making me feel uncomfortable, either by his words or his expressions. That wasn't the case with everyone I had to thank during this change in my circumstances; I was reminded of my incredible happiness and my poverty. In Collin's words was the warmth of a father's love, and it's to him that I truly owe everything.
The journey was hastily determined upon, and I had yet for myself some business to arrange. I had spoken to an acquaintance from Odense who had the management of a small printing concern, for a widow, to get "Alfsal" printed, that I might, by the sale of the work, make a little money. Before, however, the piece was printed, it was necessary that I should obtain a certain number of subscribers; but these were not obtained, and the manuscript lay in the printing-office, which, at the time I went to fetch it away, was shut up. Some years afterwards, however, it suddenly made its appearance in print without my knowledge or my desire, in its unaltered shape, but without my name.
The journey was decided on quickly, and I still had some personal business to take care of. I had talked to an acquaintance from Odense who managed a small printing company for a widow about getting "Alfsal" printed, so I could make a little money by selling the work. However, before the piece could be printed, I needed to gather a certain number of subscribers; unfortunately, I couldn’t get those subscribers, and the manuscript sat in the printing office, which was closed when I went to retrieve it. A few years later, though, it was published without my knowledge or consent, in its original form, but without my name attached.
On a beautiful autumn day I set off with the mail from Copenhagen to begin my school-life in Slagelse. A young student, who a month before had passed his first examination, and now was travelling home to Jutland to exhibit himself there as a student, and to see once more his parents and his friends, sate at my side and exulted for joy over the new life which now lay before him; he assured me that he should be the most unhappy of human beings if he were in my place, and were again beginning to go to the grammar school. But I travelled with a good heart towards the little city of Zealand. My mother received a joyful letter from me. I only wished that my father and the old grandmother yet lived, and could hear that I now went to the grammar school.
On a beautiful autumn day, I set off with the mail from Copenhagen to start my school life in Slagelse. A young student, who a month earlier had passed his first exam and was now heading home to Jutland to show off his student status and see his parents and friends again, sat beside me, thrilled about the new life that awaited him. He told me that he would be the most miserable person alive if he were in my shoes, starting over at grammar school. But I traveled with a light heart toward the little city of Zealand. My mother received a happy letter from me. I just wished my father and grandmother were still alive to hear that I was now attending grammar school.
CHAPTER III.
When, late in the evening, I arrived at the inn in Slagelse, I asked the hostess if there were anything remarkable in the city.
When I arrived at the inn in Slagelse late in the evening, I asked the hostess if there was anything interesting in the city.
"Yes," said she, "a new English fire-engine and Pastor Bastholm's library," and those probably were all the lions in the city. A few officers of the Lancers composed the fine-gentleman world. Everybody knew what was done in everybody's house, whether a scholar was elevated or degraded in his class, and the like. A private theatre, to which, at general rehearsal, the scholars of the grammar school and the maid-servants of the town had free entrance, furnished rich material for conversation. The place was remote from woods, and still farther from the coast; but the great post-road went through the city, and the post-horn resounded from the rolling carriage.
"Yes," she said, "a new English fire truck and Pastor Bastholm's library," and those were probably the only highlights in the city. A few officers from the Lancers made up the elite crowd. Everyone knew what was happening in everyone else's home, whether a student had been raised or lowered in their class, and so on. A community theater, which the grammar school students and the town's maids could attend for free during general rehearsals, provided plenty of gossip material. The area was far from any woods and even farther from the coast; however, the main road passed through the city, and the sound of the post horn echoed from the passing carriage.
I boarded with a respectable widow of the educated class, and had a little chamber looking out into the garden and field. My place in the school was in the lowest class, among little boys:—I knew indeed nothing at all.
I stayed with a respectable widow from an educated background and had a small room that overlooked the garden and fields. I was in the lowest class at school, among young boys—I honestly knew absolutely nothing.
I was actually like a wild bird which is confined in a cage; I had the greatest desire to learn, but for the moment I floundered about, as if I had been thrown into the sea; the one wave followed another; grammar, geography, mathematics—I felt myself overpowered by them, and feared that I should never be able to acquire all these. The rector, who took a peculiar delight in turning everything to ridicule, did not, of course, make an exception in my case. To me he stood then as a divinity; I believed unconditionally every word which he spoke. One day, when I had replied incorrectly to his question, and he said that I was stupid, I mentioned it to Collin, and told him my anxiety, lest I did not deserve all that people had done for me; but he consoled me. Occasionally, however, on some subjects of instruction, I began to receive a good certificate, and the teachers were heartily kind to me; yet, notwithstanding that I advanced, I still lost confidence in myself more and more. On one of the first examinations, however, I obtained the praise of the rector. He wrote the same in my character-book; and, happy in this, I went a few days afterwards to Copenhagen. Guldberg, who saw the progress I had made, received me kindly, and commended my zeal; and his brother in Odense furnished me the next summer with the means of visiting the place of my birth, where I had not been since I left it to seek adventures. I crossed the Belt, and went on foot to Odense. When I came near enough to see the lofty old church tower, my heart was more and more affected; I felt deeply the care of God for me, and I burst into tears. My mother rejoiced over me. The families of Iversen and Guldberg received me cordially; and in the little streets I saw the people open their windows to look after me, for everybody knew how remarkably well things had fared with me; nay, I fancied I actually stood upon the pinnacle of fortune, when one of the principal citizens, who had built a high tower to his house, led me up there, and I looked out thence over the city, and the surrounding country, and some old women in the hospital below, who had known me from childhood, pointed up to me.
I felt like a wild bird stuck in a cage; I had an intense desire to learn, but at that moment I was struggling as if I had been tossed into the ocean; one wave after another crashed over me—grammar, geography, mathematics—I felt overwhelmed by them, and I was scared I would never be able to master all of this. The rector, who seemed to take pleasure in mocking everything, definitely didn’t spare me. To me, he seemed like a god; I believed every word he said without question. One day, after I answered a question incorrectly and he called me stupid, I confided in Collin, expressing my worry that I didn’t deserve all the support I had. He reassured me. Occasionally, though, I started to receive good marks in some subjects, and the teachers were really nice to me; still, even as I improved, my self-confidence continued to diminish. But in one of the first exams, I earned praise from the rector. He noted it in my report book, and feeling happy about this, I traveled to Copenhagen a few days later. Guldberg, noticing my progress, welcomed me warmly and praised my enthusiasm; his brother in Odense helped me arrange a visit to my birthplace the following summer, a place I hadn’t seen since I left to seek adventure. I crossed the Belt and walked to Odense. As I approached and saw the tall old church tower, my heart started to race; I felt a deep sense of God’s care for me, and I burst into tears. My mother was thrilled to see me. The Iversen and Guldberg families warmly welcomed me; in the small streets, I noticed people opening their windows to look at me, as everyone knew about my success; in fact, I felt like I was at the peak of fortune when one of the prominent citizens, who had built a tall tower on his house, took me up there. From the top, I looked out over the city and the surrounding countryside, and some elderly women in the hospital below, who had known me since childhood, pointed up at me.
As soon, however, as I returned to Slagelse, this halo of glory vanished, as well as every thought of it. I may freely confess that I was industrious, and I rose, as soon as it was possible, into a higher class; but in proportion as I rose did I feel the pressure upon me more strongly, and that my endeavors were not sufficiently productive. Many an evening, when sleep overcame me, did I wash my head with cold water, or run about the lonely little garden, till I was again wakeful, and could comprehend the book anew. The rector filled up a portion of his hours of teaching with jests, nicknames, and not the happiest of witticisms. I was as if paralyzed with anxiety when he entered the room, and from that cause my replies often expressed the opposite of that which I wished to say, and thereby my anxiety was all the more increased. What was to become of me?
As soon as I got back to Slagelse, that halo of glory disappeared, along with any thoughts of it. I can honestly say that I worked hard, and I moved up to a higher class as soon as I could; but the higher I rose, the more I felt the pressure on me, and that my efforts weren't enough. Many evenings, when I was too tired to think, I would splash cold water on my face or pace around the quiet little garden until I felt alert again and could understand the book once more. The rector filled some of his teaching hours with jokes, nicknames, and not the best humor. I felt completely paralyzed with anxiety when he walked into the room, and as a result, my answers often came out the opposite of what I meant to say, which only made my anxiety worse. What was going to happen to me?
In a moment of ill-humor I wrote a letter to the head master, who was one of those who was most cordially opposed to me. I said in this letter that I regarded myself as a person so little gifted by nature, that it was impossible for me to study, and that the people in Copenhagen threw away the money which they spent upon me: I besought him therefore to counsel me what I should do. The excellent man strengthened me with mild words, and wrote to me a most friendly and consolatory letter; he said that the rector meant kindly by me—that it was his custom and way of acting—that I was making all the progress that people could expect from me, and that I need not doubt of my abilities. He told me that he himself was a peasant youth of three and twenty, older than I myself was, when he began his studies; the misfortune for me was, that I ought to have been treated differently to the other scholars, but that this could hardly be done in a school; but that things were progressing, and that I stood well both with the teachers and my fellow students.
In a moment of frustration, I wrote a letter to the headmaster, who was one of my biggest critics. In that letter, I expressed that I felt so lacking in natural talent that studying was nearly impossible for me, and that the people in Copenhagen were wasting their money on me. I asked for his advice on what I should do. The kind man reassured me with gentle words and sent me a very friendly and comforting reply. He said that the rector meant well and that it was just his way of doing things—that I was making all the progress anyone could reasonably expect and that I shouldn't doubt my abilities. He shared that he was a peasant youth of twenty-three, older than I was, when he started his studies. He noted that I should have been treated differently from the other students, but that wasn't feasible in a school setting. He assured me that things were improving and that I was doing well with both teachers and classmates.
Every Sunday we had to attend the church and hear an old preacher; the other scholars learned their lessons in history and mathematics while he preached; I learned my task in religion, and thought that, by so doing, it was less sinful. The general rehearsals at the private theatre were points of light in my school life; they took place in a back building, where the lowing of the cows might be heard; the street-decoration was a picture of the marketplace of the city, by which means the representation had something familiar about it; it amused the inhabitants to see their own houses.
Every Sunday, we had to go to church and listen to an old preacher. The other students learned their history and math lessons while he preached; I focused on my religion studies, thinking that made it less wrong. The general rehearsals at the private theater were bright spots in my school life; they took place in a back building where we could hear the cows mooing. The set design included a picture of the city marketplace, which made the performance feel familiar; it entertained the locals to see their own houses represented.
On Sunday afternoons it was my delight to go to the castle of Antvorskov, at that time only half ruinous, and once a monastery, where I pursued the excavating of the ruined cellars, as if it had been a Pompeii. I also often rambled to the crucifix of St. Anders, which stands upon one of the heights of Slagelse, and which is one of the wooden crosses erected in the time of Catholicism in Denmark. St. Anders was a priest in Slagelse, and travelled to the Holy Land; on the last day he remained so long praying on the holy grave, that the ship sailed away without him. Vexed at this circumstance, he walked along the shore, where a man met him riding on an ass, and took him up with him. Immediately he fell asleep, and when he awoke he heard the bells of Slagelse ringing. He lay upon the (Hvileh÷i) hill of rest, where the cross now stands. He was at home a year and a day before the ship returned, which had sailed away without him, and an angel had borne him home. The legend, and the place where he woke, were both favorites of mine. From this spot I could see the ocean and Funen. Here I could indulge my fancies; when at home, my sense of duty chained my thoughts only to my books.
On Sunday afternoons, I loved going to the castle of Antvorskov, which at that time was only half in ruins and used to be a monastery. I explored the crumbling cellars like they were Pompeii. I also often wandered to the crucifix of St. Anders, located on one of the hills in Slagelse. This is one of the wooden crosses set up during the time of Catholicism in Denmark. St. Anders was a priest in Slagelse who traveled to the Holy Land. On his last day, he prayed at the holy grave for so long that the ship left without him. Frustrated, he walked along the shore when a man riding an ass picked him up. He instantly fell asleep, and when he woke up, he heard the bells of Slagelse ringing. He lay on the Hvileh÷i hill of rest, where the cross now stands. He made it home a year and a day before the ship that had left him behind returned, with an angel having taken him back. I loved both the legend and the place where he awoke. From this spot, I could see the ocean and Funen. Here, I could let my imagination run wild; at home, I felt bound to my books by my sense of duty.
The happiest time, however, was when, once on a Sunday, whilst the wood was green, I went to the city of Sor÷, two (Danish) miles from Slagelse, and which lies in the midst of woods, surrounded by lakes. Here is an academy for the nobility, founded by the poet Holberg. Everything lay in a conventual stillness. I visited here the poet Ingemann, who had just married, and who held a situation as teacher; he had already received me kindly in Copenhagen; but here his reception of me was still more kind. His life in this place seemed to me like a beautiful story; flowers and vines twined around his window; the rooms were adorned with the portraits of distinguished poets, and other pictures. We sailed upon the lake with an Aeolian harp made fast to the mast. Ingemann talked so cheerfully, and his excellent, amiable wife treated me as if she were an elder sister:—I loved these people. Our friendship has grown with years. I have been from that time almost every summer a welcome guest there, and I have experienced that there are people in whose society one is made better, as it were; that which is bitter passes away, and the whole world appears in sunlight.
The happiest time for me was one Sunday when, while the woods were green, I went to the city of Sorø, two Danish miles from Slagelse, which is surrounded by lakes and nestled in the woods. There’s an academy for the nobility there, founded by the poet Holberg. Everything felt peacefully quiet. I visited the poet Ingemann, who had just gotten married and worked as a teacher; he had welcomed me warmly in Copenhagen, but here his hospitality was even more generous. His life in this place seemed like a beautiful story; flowers and vines wrapped around his window, and the rooms were decorated with portraits of famous poets and other artworks. We sailed on the lake with an Aeolian harp attached to the mast. Ingemann was so cheerful, and his wonderful, kind wife treated me like an older sister—I loved these people. Our friendship has grown over the years. Since then, I've been a welcome guest there almost every summer, and I’ve found that there are people whose company makes you feel better; the bitterness fades away, and the whole world seems bright and sunny.
Among the pupils in the academy of nobles, there were two who made verses; they knew that I did the same, and they attached themselves to me. The one was Petit, who afterwards, certainly with the best intention, but not faithfully, translated several of my books; the other, the poet Karl Bagger, one of the most gifted of men who has come forward in Danish literature, but who has been unjustly judged. His poems are full of freshness and originality; his story, "The Life of my Brother," is a genial book, by the critique on which the Danish Monthly Review of Literature has proved that it does not understand how to give judgment. These two academicians were very different from me: life rushed rejoicingly through their veins; I was sensitive and childlike. In my character-book I always received, as regarded my conduct, "remarkably good." On one occasion, however, I only obtained the testimony of "very good;" and so anxious and childlike was I, that I wrote a letter to Collin on that account, and assured him in grave earnestness, that I was perfectly innocent, although I had only obtained a character of "very good."
Among the students at the academy of nobles, there were two who wrote poetry; they knew that I did too, and they connected with me. One was Petit, who later on, with good intentions but not much accuracy, translated several of my books; the other was the poet Karl Bagger, one of the most talented individuals to emerge in Danish literature, but who has been unfairly judged. His poems are filled with freshness and originality; his story, "The Life of My Brother," is a delightful book, and the critique of it by the Danish Monthly Review of Literature shows that it doesn't know how to judge properly. These two students were very different from me: life flowed joyfully through their veins; I was sensitive and childlike. In my character book, I always received “remarkably good” ratings for my conduct. However, one time, I only got “very good,” and I was so anxious and childlike that I wrote a letter to Collin about it, earnestly assuring him that I was completely innocent, even though I had only received a “very good” rating.
The rector grew weary of his residence in Slagelse; he applied for the vacant post of rector in the grammar-school of Helsing÷r, and obtained it. He told me of it, and added kindly, that I might write to Collin and ask leave to accompany him thither; that I might live in his house, and could even now remove to his family; I should then in half a year become a student, which could not be the case if I remained behind, and that then he would himself give me some private lessons in Latin and Greek. On this same occasion he wrote also to Collin; and this letter, which I afterwards saw, contained the greatest praise of my industry, of the progress I had made, and of my good abilities, which last I imagined that he thoroughly mistook, and for the want of which, I myself had so often wept. I had no conception that he judged of me so favorably; it would have strengthened and relieved me had I known it; whereas, on the contrary, his perpetual blame depressed me. I, of course, immediately received Collin's permission, and removed to the house of the rector. But that, alas! was an unfortunate house.
The rector grew tired of living in Slagelse; he applied for the open position of rector at the grammar school in Helsingør and got it. He shared the news with me and kindly said that I could write to Collin and ask for permission to join him there; I could live in his house and even move in with his family now. In six months, I would become a student, which wouldn't happen if I stayed behind, and he would personally give me some private lessons in Latin and Greek. On this same occasion, he also wrote to Collin; that letter, which I later saw, praised my hard work, the progress I had made, and my good abilities, which I thought he completely misunderstood, and for which I had often cried. I had no idea he thought so highly of me; knowing that would have strengthened and comforted me, while his constant criticism only brought me down. I, of course, quickly got Collin's permission and moved to the rector's house. But, unfortunately, that turned out to be an unfortunate place.
I accompanied him to Helsing÷r, one of the loveliest places in Denmark, close to the Sound, which is at this place not above a mile (Danish) broad, and which seems like a blue, swelling river between Denmark and Sweden. The ships of all nations sail past daily by hundreds; in winter the ice forms a firm bridge between the two countries, and when in spring this breaks up, it resembles a floating glacier. The scenery here made a lively impression upon me, but I dared only to cast stolen glances at it. When the school hours were over, the house door was commonly locked; I was obliged to remain in the heated school-room and learn my Latin, or else play with the children, or sit in my little room; I never went out to visit anybody. My life in this family furnishes the most evil dreams to my remembrance. I was almost overcome by it, and my prayer to God every evening was, that he would remove this cup from me and let me die. I possessed not an atom of confidence in myself. I never mentioned in my letters how hard it went with me, because the rector found his pleasure in making a jest of me, and turning my feelings to ridicule. I never complained of any one, with the exception of myself. I knew that they would say in Copenhagen, "He has not the desire to do any thing; a fanciful being can do no good with realities."
I went with him to Helsingør, one of the most beautiful spots in Denmark, near the Sound, which here is only about a mile wide, looking like a blue, flowing river between Denmark and Sweden. Ships from all over the world pass by every day; in winter, the ice forms a solid bridge between the two countries, and when it breaks up in spring, it looks like a floating glacier. The scenery here made a strong impression on me, but I could only sneak glances at it. Once school was over, the house door was usually locked; I had to stay in the warm classroom and study my Latin, or play with the kids, or sit in my small room; I never went out to visit anyone. My time in this family brings back the worst memories. I was nearly overwhelmed, and every evening I prayed to God to take this burden away from me and let me die. I had no confidence in myself at all. I never mentioned in my letters how hard things were for me because the rector enjoyed making fun of me and ridiculing my feelings. I never complained about anyone except myself. I knew they would say in Copenhagen, "He doesn't want to do anything; a dreamer can't accomplish anything in the real world."
My letters to Collin, written at this time, showed such a gloomy despairing state of mind, that they touched him deeply; but people imagined that was not to be helped; they fancied that it was my disposition, and not, as was the case, that it was the consequence of outward influences. My temper of mind was thoroughly buoyant, and susceptible of every ray of sunshine; but only on one single holiday in the year, when I could go to Copenhagen, was I able to enjoy it.
My letters to Collin during this time reflected such a heavy, despairing mindset that they affected him deeply; however, people thought this was just how I was and not, as it actually was, a result of outside influences. My mood was generally bright and open to every bit of happiness, but I could only truly enjoy it on one holiday each year when I could go to Copenhagen.
What a change it was to get for a few days out of the rector's rooms into a house in Copenhagen, where all was elegance, cleanliness, and full of the comforts of refined life! This was at Admiral Wulff's, whose wife felt for me the kindness of a mother, and whose children met me with cordiality; they dwelt in a portion of the Castle of Amalienburg, and my chamber looked out into the square. I remember the first evening there; Aladdin's words passed through my mind, when he looked down from his splendid castle into the square, and said, "Here came I as a poor lad." My soul was full of gratitude. During my whole residence in Slagelse I had scarcely written more than four or five poems; two of which, "The Soul," and "To my Mother," will be found printed in my collected works. During my school-time at Helsing÷r I wrote only one single poem, "The Dying Child;" a poem which, of all my after works, became most popular and most widely circulated. I read it to some acquaintance in Copenhagen; some were struck by it, but most of them only remarked my Funen dialect, which drops the d in every word. I was commended by many; but from the greater number I received a lecture on modesty, and that I should not get too great ideas of myself—I who really at that time thought nothing of myself. [Footnote: How beautifully is all this part of the author's experience reflected in that of Antonio, the Improvisatore, whose highly sensitive nature was too often wounded by the well-meant lectures of patrons and common-place minds.—M. H.]
What a change it was to spend a few days out of the rector's rooms and into a house in Copenhagen, where everything was elegant, clean, and filled with the comforts of a refined life! This was at Admiral Wulff's, whose wife treated me with the kindness of a mother, and whose children greeted me warmly; they lived in part of the Castle of Amalienborg, and my room overlooked the square. I remember the first evening there; Aladdin's words ran through my mind when he looked down from his magnificent castle into the square and said, "Here came I as a poor lad." My heart was full of gratitude. During my entire time in Slagelse, I had hardly written more than four or five poems; two of which, "The Soul" and "To my Mother," can be found printed in my collected works. While I was in school at Helsingør, I wrote just one poem, "The Dying Child," which, of all my later works, became the most popular and widely circulated. I read it to some acquaintances in Copenhagen; some were impressed by it, but most just commented on my Funen dialect, which drops the d in every word. Many praised me, but a greater number gave me a lecture on modesty, saying I shouldn't think too highly of myself—I, who at that time truly thought nothing of myself. [Footnote: How beautifully is all this part of the author's experience reflected in that of Antonio, the Improvisatore, whose highly sensitive nature was too often wounded by the well-meant lectures of patrons and commonplace minds.—M. H.]
At the house of Admiral Wulff I saw many men of the most distinguished talent, and among them all my mind paid the greatest homage to one—that was the poet Adam Oehlenschl ger. I heard his praise resound from every mouth around me; I looked up to him with the most pious faith: I was happy when one evening, in a large brilliantly-lighted drawing room—where I deeply felt that my apparel was the shabbiest there, and for that reason I concealed myself behind the long curtains—Oehlenschl ger came to me and offered me his hand. I could have fallen before him on my knees. I again saw Weyse, and heard him improvise upon the piano. Wulff himself read aloud his translations of Byron; and Oehlenschl ger's young daughter Charlotte surprised me by her joyous, merry humor.
At Admiral Wulff's house, I encountered many incredibly talented people, but one stood out the most to me—the poet Adam Oehlenschläger. His praise echoed from everyone around, and I held him in the highest regard. I felt happy one evening in a large, brightly lit drawing room, where I was acutely aware of how my outfit was the least impressive, so I hid behind the long curtains. Oehlenschläger approached me and extended his hand. I felt like I could’ve knelt before him. I saw Weyse again and listened as he improvised on the piano. Wulff himself read aloud his translations of Byron, and Oehlenschläger's young daughter Charlotte delighted me with her cheerful, playful humor.
From such a house as this, I, after a few days, returned to the rector, and felt the difference deeply. He also came direct from Copenhagen, where he had heard it said that I had read in company one of my own poems. He looked at me with a penetrating glance, and commanded me to bring him the poem, when, if he found in it one spark of poetry, he would forgive me. I tremblingly brought to him "The Dying Child;" he read it, and pronounced it to be sentimentality and idle trash. He gave way freely to his anger. If he had believed that I wasted my time in writing verses, or that I was of a nature which required a severe treatment, then his intention would have been good; but he could not pretend this. But from this day forward my situation was more unfortunate than ever; I suffered so severely in my mind that I was very near sinking under it. That was the darkest, the most unhappy time in my life.
From a house like this, I returned to the rector after a few days and felt the difference deeply. He had just come directly from Copenhagen, where he heard that I had shared one of my own poems in public. He looked at me intently and demanded that I show him the poem, saying that if he found even a hint of poetry in it, he would forgive me. I nervously handed him “The Dying Child;” he read it and declared it sentimental and worthless. He expressed his anger openly. If he had really believed that I was wasting my time writing verses or that I needed strict discipline, then his intentions would have been well-meaning; but he couldn't genuinely pretend that. From that day forward, my situation became more unfortunate than ever; I was in such mental agony that I felt close to breaking down. That was the darkest, most miserable time in my life.
Just then one of the masters went to Copenhagen, and related to Collin exactly what I had to bear, and immediately he removed me from the school and from the rector's house. When, in taking leave of him, I thanked him for the kindness which I had received from him, the passionate man cursed me, and ended by saying that I should never become a student, that my verses would grow mouldy on the floor of the bookseller's shop, and that I myself should end my days in a mad-house. I trembled to my innermost being, and left him.
Just then, one of the teachers went to Copenhagen and told Collin exactly what I had been going through, and right away he took me out of the school and the rector's house. When I said goodbye to him and thanked him for the kindness he had shown me, the angry man cursed me and ended by saying that I would never become a student, that my poems would gather dust in the bookseller's shop, and that I would end my days in a mental institution. I was shaken to my core and left him.
Several years afterwards, when my writings were read, when the Improvisatore first came out, I met him in Copenhagen; he offered me his hand in a conciliatory manner, and said that he had erred respecting me, and had treated me wrong; but it now was all the same to me. The heavy, dark days had also produced their blessing in my life. A young man, who afterwards became celebrated in Denmark for his zeal in the Northern languages and in history, became my teacher. I hired a little garret; it is described in the Fiddler; and in The Picture Book without Pictures, people may see that I often received there visits from the moon. I had a certain sum allowed for my support; but as instruction was to be paid for, I had to make savings in other ways. A few families through the week-days gave me a place at their tables. I was a sort of boarder, as many another poor student in Copenhagen is still: there was a variety in it; it gave an insight into the several kinds of family life, which was not without its influence on me. I studied industriously; in some particular branches I had considerably distinguished myself in Helsing÷r, especially in mathematics; these were, therefore, now much more left to myself: everything tended to assist me in my Greek and Latin studies; in one direction, however, and that the one in which it would least have been expected, did my excellent teacher find much to do; namely, in religion. He closely adhered to the literal meaning of the Bible; with this I was acquainted, because from my first entrance in the school I had clearly understood what was said and taught by it. I received gladly, both with feeling and understanding, the doctrine, that God is love: everything which opposed this—a burning hell, therefore, whose fire endured forever—I could not recognize. Released from the distressing existence of the school-bench, I now expressed myself like a free man; and my teacher, who was one of the noblest and most amiable of human beings, but who adhered firmly to the letter, was often quite distressed about me. We disputed, whilst pure flames kindled within our hearts. It was nevertheless good for me that I came to this unspoiled, highly-gifted young man, who was possessed of a nature as peculiar as my own.
Several years later, after my writings were published and the Improvisatore was first released, I ran into him in Copenhagen. He extended his hand in a friendly way and admitted that he had made mistakes regarding me and had treated me poorly; but by then, it didn't matter to me anymore. The tough, dark days had turned out to be a blessing in my life. A young man, who later gained fame in Denmark for his enthusiasm for the Northern languages and history, became my teacher. I rented a little attic, which is described in the Fiddler; and in The Picture Book without Pictures, people can see that I often had visits from the moon there. I had a fixed amount set aside for my living expenses, but since I had to pay for instruction, I had to cut back in other areas. A few families provided me with meals during the week. I was like a boarder, just like many other struggling students in Copenhagen today: it added variety to my experience and gave me insights into different family lives, which influenced me. I studied diligently; I had previously distinguished myself in certain areas in Helsingør, especially in mathematics, so I was now more self-reliant in those subjects. Everything was geared towards helping me with my Greek and Latin studies; however, in one area, where it was least expected, my excellent teacher found a lot to address—religion. He adhered closely to the literal interpretation of the Bible; I was familiar with this because I had clearly understood what it taught since I started school. I embraced the idea, both emotionally and intellectually, that God is love: anything that contradicted this—a hell of eternal fire, for example—I couldn't accept. Free from the distressing life of the school bench, I spoke like a liberated person; and my teacher, who was one of the noblest and kindest people, but who was strict about the text, often felt troubled by me. We debated passionately, with pure fire igniting within our hearts. It was, nonetheless, beneficial for me to encounter this unaffected, highly talented young man, who had a nature as unique as my own.
That which, on the contrary, was an error in me, and which became very perceptible, was a pleasure which I had, not in jesting with, but in playing with my best feelings, and in regarding the understanding as the most important thing in the world. The rector had completely mistaken my undisguisedly candid and sensitive character; my excitable feelings were made ridiculous, and thrown back upon themselves; and now, when I could freely advance upon the way to my object, this change showed itself in me. From severe suffering I did not rush into libertinism, but into an erroneous endeavor to appear other than I was. I ridiculed feeling, and fancied that I had quite thrown it aside; and yet I could be made wretched for a whole day, if I met with a sour countenance where I expected a friendly one. Every poem which I had formerly written with tears, I now parodied, or gave to it a ludicrous refrain; one of which I called "The Lament of the Kitten," another, "The Sick Poet." The few poems which I wrote at that time were all of a humorous character: a complete change had passed over me; the stunted plant was reset, and now began to put forth new shoots.
What I mistakenly thought was an error in me, and which became quite obvious, was my enjoyment not in joking, but in playing with my deepest feelings, and in believing that understanding was the most important thing in the world. The rector completely misunderstood my openly honest and sensitive nature; my intense emotions were mocked and turned back on themselves. Now, as I could finally move toward my goals, this shift was evident in me. Instead of diving into hedonism from deep suffering, I engaged in a misguided attempt to appear different from who I truly was. I started to mock feelings, thinking I had completely cast them aside, yet I could still be devastated for an entire day if I encountered a sour face instead of a friendly one. Every poem I had previously written with tears, I now parodied or gave a silly refrain; one of them I called "The Lament of the Kitten," and another, "The Sick Poet." The few poems I wrote during that time were all humorous: a complete transformation had occurred in me; the stunted plant was replanted and began to sprout new shoots.
Wulff's eldest daughter, a very clever and lively girl, understood and encouraged the humor, which made itself evident in my few poems; she possessed my entire confidence; she protected me like a good sister, and had great influence over me, whilst she awoke in me a feeling for the comic.
Wulff's oldest daughter, a smart and lively girl, understood and appreciated the humor that was clear in my few poems; she had my full trust; she looked out for me like a caring sister and had a significant influence on me, all while bringing out my sense of humor.
At this time, also, a fresh current of life was sent through the Danish literature; for this the people had an interest, and politics played no part in it.
At this time, a new wave of energy was injected into Danish literature; the people were invested in it, and politics had no role in it.
Heiberg, who had gained the acknowledged reputation of a poet by his excellent works, "Psyche" and "Walter the Potter," had introduced the vaudeville upon the Danish stage; it was a Danish vaudeville, blood of our blood, and was therefore received with acclamation, and supplanted almost everything else. Thalia kept carnival on the Danish stage, and Heiberg was her secretary. I made his acquaintance first at Oersted's. Refined, eloquent, and the hero of the day, he pleased me in a high degree; he was most kind to me, and I visited him; he considered one of my humorous poems worthy of a place in his most excellent weekly paper, "The Flying Post." Shortly before I had, after a deal of trouble, got my poem of "The Dying Child" printed in a paper; none of the many publishers of journals, who otherwise accept of the most lamentable trash, had the courage to print a poem by a schoolboy. My best known poem they printed at that time, accompanied by an excuse for it. Heiberg saw it, and gave it in his paper an honorable place. Two humorous poems, signed H., were truly my debut with him.
Heiberg, who had earned recognition as a poet through his excellent works, "Psyche" and "Walter the Potter," introduced vaudeville to the Danish stage; it was a Danish vaudeville, our very own, and was met with great enthusiasm, quickly overshadowing almost everything else. Thalia celebrated on the Danish stage, and Heiberg was her right-hand man. I first met him at Oersted's. Polished, articulate, and the star of the day, he impressed me greatly; he was incredibly kind, and I visited him. He deemed one of my humorous poems worthy of publication in his outstanding weekly paper, "The Flying Post." Not long before that, I had managed, after much effort, to get my poem "The Dying Child" published in a journal; none of the numerous publishers who usually accept the most dreadful rubbish had the courage to print a poem by a schoolboy. They published my best-known poem at that time, along with an apology for doing so. Heiberg noticed it and gave it a prominent spot in his paper. Two humorous poems, credited to H., were truly my debut with him.
I remember the first evening when the "Flying Post" appeared with my verses in it. I was with a family who wished me well, but who regarded my poetical talent as quite insignificant, and who found something to censure in every line. The master of the house entered with the "Flying Post" in his hand.
I remember the first evening when the "Flying Post" came out with my poems in it. I was with a family that wanted the best for me, but they thought my poetry was pretty minor and found something to criticize in every line. The head of the house walked in with the "Flying Post" in his hand.
"This evening," said he, "there are two excellent poems: they are by Heiberg; nobody else could write anything like them." And now my poems were received with rapture. The daughter, who was in my secret, exclaimed, in her delight, that I was the author. They were all struck into silence, and were vexed. That wounded me deeply.
"This evening," he said, "there are two amazing poems: they're by Heiberg; no one else could write anything like them." And now my poems were met with enthusiasm. The daughter, who knew my secret, exclaimed in her joy that I was the author. Everyone fell silent and looked annoyed. That hurt me deeply.
One of our least esteemed writers, but a man of rank, who was very hospitable, gave me one day a seat at his table. He told me that a new year's gift would come out, and that he was applied to for a contribution. I said that a little poem of mine, at the wish of the publisher, would appear in the same new year's gift.
One of our least appreciated writers, though a person of stature, who was very welcoming, invited me to sit at his table one day. He mentioned that a New Year's gift was being prepared and that he had been asked to contribute. I told him that a short poem of mine, at the request of the publisher, would also be included in that New Year's gift.
"What, then, everybody and anybody are to contribute to this book!" said the man in vexation: "then he will need nothing from me; I certainly can hardly give him anything."
"What, then, is everyone supposed to contribute to this book!" said the man in frustration. "Then he won’t need anything from me; I really can’t give him anything."
My teacher dwelt at a considerable distance from me. I went to him twice each day, and on the way there my thoughts were occupied with my lessons. On my return, however, I breathed more freely, and then bright poetical ideas passed through my brain, but they were never committed to paper; only five or six humorous poems were written in the course of the year, and these disturbed me less when they were laid to rest on paper than if they had remained in my mind.
My teacher lived quite far away from me. I went to see him twice a day, and on the way there, I focused on my lessons. However, on my way back, I felt more relaxed, and vibrant, creative ideas flowed through my mind, but I never wrote them down; only five or six funny poems were penned throughout the year, and I was less bothered by them once they were on paper than if they had stayed in my head.
In September, 1828, I was a student; and when the examination was over, the thousand ideas and thoughts, by which I was pursued on the way to my teacher, flew like a swarm of bees out into the world, and, indeed, into my first work, "A Journey on Foot to Amack;" a peculiar, humorous book, but one which fully exhibited my own individual character at that time, my disposition to sport with everything, and to jest in tears over my own feelings—a fantastic, gaily-colored tapestry-work. No publisher had the courage to bring out that little book; I therefore ventured to do it myself, and, in a few days after its appearance, the impression was sold. Publisher Keitzel bought from me the second edition; after a while he had a third; and besides this, the work was reprinted in Sweden.
In September 1828, I was a student. Once the exam was done, all the ideas and thoughts that had crowded my mind on the way to see my teacher burst out into the world, and into my first book, "A Journey on Foot to Amack." It was a unique, humorous piece that really showed my personality at that time—my tendency to joke about everything and to laugh even when dealing with my own emotions—a colorful, whimsical tapestry. No publisher was brave enough to release that little book, so I took it upon myself to publish it, and within a few days of its release, it sold out. Publisher Keitzel bought the second edition from me; eventually, he published a third, and the book was also reprinted in Sweden.
Everybody read my book; I heard nothing but praise; I was "a student,"—I had attained the highest goal of my wishes. I was in a whirl of joy; and in this state I wrote my first dramatic work, "Love on the Nicholas Tower, or, What says the Pit?" It was unsuccessful, because it satirized that which no longer existed amongst us, namely, the shows of the middle ages; besides which, it rather ridiculed the enthusiasm for the vaudeville. The subject of it was, in short, as follows:—The watchman of the Nicholas Tower, who always spoke as a knight of the castle, wished to give his daughter to the watchman of the neighboring church-tower; but she loved a young tailor, who had made a journey to the grave of Eulenspiegel, and was just now returned, as the punch-bowl steamed, and was to be emptied in honor of the young lady's consent being given. The lovers escape together to the tailor's herberg, where dancing and merriment are going forward. The watchman, however, fetches back his daughter; but she had lost her senses, and she assured them that she never would recover them, unless she had her tailor. The old watchman determines that Fate should decide the affair; but, then, who was Fate? The idea then comes into his head that the public shall be his Pythia, and that the public shall decide whether she should have the tailor or the watchman. They determine, therefore, to send to one of the youngest of the poets, and beg him to write the history in the style of the vaudeville, a kind of writing which was the most successful at that time, and when the piece was brought upon the stage, and the public either whistled or hissed, it should be in no wise considered that the work of the young author had been unsuccessful, but that it should be the voice of Fate, which said, "She shall marry the watchman." If, on the contrary, the piece was successful, it indicated that she should have the tailor; and this last, remarked the father, must be said in prose, in order that the public may understand it. Now every one of the characters thought himself on the stage, where in the epilogue the lovers besought the public for their applause, whilst the watchman begged them either to whistle, or at least to hiss.
Everyone read my book; I only heard compliments; I was "a student"—I had reached the highest point of my dreams. I was overjoyed; and in that excitement, I wrote my first play, "Love on the Nicholas Tower, or, What Says the Pit?" It was a flop because it mocked something that was no longer relevant to us, specifically the performances of the middle ages; plus, it poked fun at the enthusiasm for vaudeville. The plot was essentially as follows: The watchman of the Nicholas Tower, who always spoke like a knight, wanted to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the watchman of the nearby church tower; but she was in love with a young tailor, who had just returned from a trip to Eulenspiegel's grave, as the punch bowl was steaming, ready to be emptied in celebration of her agreeing to marry. The lovers run away to the tailor's tavern, where dancing and fun were happening. However, the watchman brings his daughter back; but she had lost her mind and insisted she would never regain it unless she was with her tailor. The old watchman decides to let Fate decide the situation; but who was Fate? He then thinks that the audience would be his oracle, and that they would get to decide whether she should be with the tailor or the watchman. They decide to ask one of the youngest poets to write their story in the style of vaudeville, which was very popular at the time, and when the play is performed, if the audience whistled or booed, it should not be considered the young author's failure but the voice of Fate saying, "She shall marry the watchman." Conversely, if the show went well, it would mean she should be with the tailor; and the father noted that this last part must be said in prose so the audience could understand it. Now every character felt as if they were on stage, where in the epilogue the lovers pleaded for the audience's applause, while the watchman asked them either to whistle or, at the very least, to boo.
My fellow students received the piece with acclamation; they were proud of me. I was the second of their body who in this year had brought out a piece on the Danish stage; the other was Arnesen, student at the same time with me, and author of a vaudeville called "The Intrigue in the People's Theatre," a piece which had a great run. We were the two young authors of the October examination, two of the sixteen poets which this year produced, and whom people in jest divided into the four great and the twelve small poets.
My fellow students received the piece with cheers; they were proud of me. I was the second person from our group this year to present a piece on the Danish stage; the other was Arnesen, who was studying alongside me and wrote a vaudeville called "The Intrigue in the People's Theatre," which had a successful run. We were the two young authors from the October exam, part of the sixteen poets produced this year, and people jokingly divided us into the four major poets and the twelve minor ones.
I was now a happy human being; I possessed the soul of a poet, and the heart of youth; all houses began to be open to me; I flew from circle to circle. Still, however, I devoted myself industriously to study, so that in September, 1829, I passed my Examen philologicum et philosophicum, and brought out the first collected edition of my poems, which met with great praise. Life lay bright with sunshine before me.
I was now a happy person; I had the soul of a poet and the heart of youth; all doors began to open for me; I moved from group to group. Still, I dedicated myself to studying hard, so that in September 1829, I passed my Examen philologicum et philosophicum and published the first collected edition of my poems, which received a lot of praise. Life looked bright and sunny ahead of me.
CHAPTER IV.
Until now I had only seen a small part of my native land, that is to say, a few points in Funen and Zealand, as well as Moen's Klint, which last is truly one of our most beautiful places; the beechwoods there hang like a garland over the white chalk cliffs, from which a view is obtained far over the Baltic. I wished, therefore, in the summer of 1830, to devote my first literary proceeds to seeing Jutland, and making myself more thoroughly acquainted with my own Funen. I had no idea how much solidity of mind I should derive from this summer excursion, or what a change was about to take place in my inner life.
Until now, I had only seen a small part of my home country—just a few places in Funen and Zealand, as well as Møns Klint, which is truly one of our most beautiful spots. The beech forests there drape like a garland over the white chalk cliffs, from which you can see far across the Baltic. So, in the summer of 1830, I decided to use my first earnings from writing to explore Jutland and get to know my own Funen better. I had no idea how much clarity I would gain from this summer trip or what a transformation was about to happen in my inner life.
Jutland, which stretches between the German Ocean and the Baltic, until it ends at Skagen in a reef of quicksands, possesses a peculiar character. Towards the Baltic extend immense woods and hills; towards the North Sea, mountains and quicksands, scenery of a grand and solitary character; and between the two, infinite expanses of brown heath, with their wandering gipsies, their wailing birds, and their deep solitude, which the Danish poet, Steen Blicher, has described in his novels.
Jutland, which stretches between the North Sea and the Baltic, ending at Skagen with a reef of quicksands, has a distinct character. To the Baltic, there are vast forests and hills; toward the North Sea, mountains and quicksands create a magnificent and isolated landscape. In between, there are endless stretches of brown heath, home to wandering gypsies, mournful birds, and a profound solitude that the Danish poet Steen Blicher has captured in his novels.
This was the first foreign scenery which I had ever seen, and the impression, therefore, which it made upon me was very strong. [Footnote: This impressive and wild scenery, with its characteristic figures, of gipsies etc., is most exquisitely introduced into the author's novel of "O. T."; indeed it gives a coloring and tone to the whole work, which the reader never can forget. In my opinion Andersen never wrote anything finer in the way of description than many parts of this work, though as a story it is not equal to his others.—M. H.] In the cities, where my "Journey on Foot" and my comic poems were known, I met with a good reception. Funen revealed her rural life to me; and, not far from my birth-place of Odense, I passed several weeks at the country seat of the elder Iversen as a welcome guest. Poems sprung forth upon paper, but of the comic fewer and fewer. Sentiment, which I had so often derided, would now be avenged. I arrived, in the course of my journey, at the house of a rich family in a small city; and here suddenly a new world opened before me, an immense world, which yet could be contained in four lines, which I wrote at that time:—
This was the first foreign landscape I had ever seen, so the impression it left on me was incredibly strong. [Footnote: This striking and wild scenery, featuring characteristic figures like gypsies, is beautifully introduced in the author's novel "O. T."; it really adds a unique touch and tone to the entire work that the reader can never forget. In my opinion, Andersen never created anything better in terms of description than many parts of this work, although as a story, it's not as strong as his others.—M. H.] In the cities where my "Journey on Foot" and my funny poems were known, I was greeted warmly. Funen showed me its rural life, and not far from my hometown of Odense, I spent several weeks at the countryside home of the older Iversen as a welcomed guest. Poems flowed onto the page, but the funny ones became fewer. The sentiment I'd often mocked now took its revenge. During my travels, I arrived at the home of a wealthy family in a small town, and suddenly a whole new world opened up before me, a vast world that I could sum up in four lines that I wrote at that time:—
A pair of dark eyes fixed my sight, They were my world, my home, my delight, The soul beamed in them, and childlike peace, And never on earth will their memory cease.
A pair of deep brown eyes captured my gaze, They were my everything, my comfort, my joy, Their essence radiated warmth and innocence, And on this earth, their memory will never fade.
New plans of life occupied me. I would give up writing poetry,—to what could it lead? I would study theology, and become a preacher; I had only one thought, and that was she. But it was self-delusion: she loved another; she married him. It was not till several years later that I felt and acknowledged that it was best, both for her and for myself, that things had fallen out as they were. She had no idea, perhaps, how deep my feeling for her had been, or what an influence it produced in me. She had become the excellent wife of a good man, and a happy mother. God's blessing rest upon her!
New plans for my life occupied my mind. I would stop writing poetry—what would it lead to? I would study theology and become a preacher; I could only think of her. But it was wishful thinking: she loved someone else; she married him. It wasn't until several years later that I realized and accepted that it was best for both her and me that things turned out as they did. She probably had no idea how deep my feelings for her had been or what impact they had on me. She became a wonderful wife to a good man and a happy mother. May God bless her!
In my "Journey on Foot," and in most of my writings, satire had been the prevailing characteristic. This displeased many people, who thought that this bent of mind could lead to no good purpose. The critics now blamed me precisely for that which a far deeper feeling had expelled from my breast. A new collection of Poetry, "Fancies and Sketches," which was published for the new year, showed satisfactorily what my heart suffered. A paraphrase of the history of my own heart appeared in a serious vaudeville, "Parting and Meeting," with this difference only, that here the love was mutual: the piece was not presented on the stage till five years later.
In my "Journey on Foot," as well as in most of my writings, satire was the main feature. This upset many people, who believed that this mindset couldn’t lead to anything good. The critics blamed me for exactly what a much deeper feeling had driven out of my heart. A new collection of poetry, "Fancies and Sketches," published for the new year, clearly showed what my heart was going through. A retelling of my own heart's history appeared in a serious vaudeville, "Parting and Meeting," with only one difference: here, the love was mutual. The piece wasn't performed on stage until five years later.
Among my young friends in Copenhagen at that time was Orla Lehmann, who afterwards rose higher in popular favor, on account of his political efforts than any man in Denmark. Full of animation, eloquent and undaunted, his character of mind was one which interested me also. The German language was much studied at his father's; they had received there Heine's poems, and they were very attractive for young Orla. He lived in the country, in the neighborhood of the castle of Fredericksberg. I went there to see him, and he sang as I came one of Heine's verses, "Thalatta, Thalatta, du eviges Meer." We read Heine together; the afternoon and the evening passed, and I was obliged to remain there all night; but I had on this evening made the acquaintance of a poet, who, as it seemed to me, sang from the soul; he supplanted Hoffman, who, as might be seen by my "Journey on Foot," had formerly had the greatest influence on me. In my youth there were only three authors who as it were infused themselves into my blood,—Walter Scott, Hoffman, and Heine.
Among my young friends in Copenhagen at that time was Orla Lehmann, who later gained more popularity due to his political efforts than anyone else in Denmark. Full of energy, eloquent, and fearless, his mindset intrigued me as well. His family studied the German language extensively, and they had Heine's poems, which were very appealing to young Orla. He lived in the countryside near the Fredericksberg Castle. I visited him, and as I arrived, he sang one of Heine's verses, "Thalatta, Thalatta, du eviges Meer." We read Heine together; the afternoon and evening flew by, and I ended up staying the night. That evening, I got to know a poet who, to me, sang from the heart; he replaced Hoffman, who, as I noted in my "Journey on Foot," had previously influenced me the most. In my youth, there were only three authors who seemed to become part of me—Walter Scott, Hoffman, and Heine.
I betrayed more and more in my writings an unhealthy turn of mind. I felt an inclination to seek for the melancholy in life, and to linger on the dark side of things. I became sensitive and thought rather of the blame than the praise which was lavished on me. My late school education, which was forced, and my impulse to become an author whilst I was yet a student, make it evident that my first work, the "Journey on Foot," was not without grammatical errors. Had I only paid some one to correct the press, which was a work I was unaccustomed to, then no charge of this kind could have been brought against me. Now, on the contrary, people laughed at these errors, and dwelt upon them, passing over carelessly that in the book which had merit. I know people who only read my poems to find out errors; they noted down, for instance, how often I used the word beautiful, or some similar word. A gentleman, now a clergyman, at that time a writer of vaudevilles and a critic, was not ashamed, in a company where I was, to go through several of my poems in this style; so that a little girl of six years old, who heard with amazement that he discovered everything to be wrong, took the book, and pointing out the conjunction and, said, "There is yet a little word about which you have not scolded." He felt what a reproof lay in the remark of the child; he looked ashamed and kissed the little one. All this wounded me; but I had, since my school-days, become somewhat timid, and that caused me to take it all quietly: I was morbidly sensitive, and I was good-natured to a fault. Everybody knew it, and some were on that account almost cruel to me. Everybody wished to teach me; almost everybody said that I was spoiled by praise, and therefore they would speak the truth to me. Thus I heard continually of my faults, the real and the ideal weaknesses. In the mean time, however, my feelings burst forth; and then I said that I would become a poet whom they should see honored. But this was regarded only as the crowning mark of the most unbearable vanity; and from house to house it was repeated. I was a good man, they said, but one of the vainest in existence; and in that very time I was often ready wholly to despair of my abilities, and had, as in the darkest days of my school-life, a feeling, as if my whole talents were a self-deception. I almost believed so; but it was more than I could bear, to hear the same thing said, sternly and jeeringly, by others; and if I then uttered a proud, an inconsiderate word, it was addressed to the scourge with which I was smitten; and when those who smite are those we love, then do the scourges become scorpions.
I increasingly revealed an unhealthy mindset in my writing. I found myself drawn to the sadness in life and lingered on the darker aspects of things. I became overly sensitive, focusing more on the criticism than the praise I received. My forced school education and my desire to be an author while still a student showed that my first work, "Journey on Foot," wasn’t without grammatical mistakes. If I had just hired someone to proofread it, which I wasn't used to, I wouldn't have faced such criticism. Instead, people laughed at these errors and focused on them, carelessly ignoring the parts of the book that had merit. I know people who only read my poems to find mistakes; they kept track of how often I used the word beautiful or similar words. A gentleman, now a clergyman but then a vaudeville writer and critic, shamelessly pointed out several of my poem’s flaws in front of a group I was in. A six-year-old girl, amazed to hear everything was wrong, took the book and pointed out the word and, saying, "There’s still this little word you haven’t criticized." He realized how much the child’s comment rebuked him, looked embarrassed, and kissed her. All this hurt me; since my school days, I had become somewhat timid and took it all quietly. I was overly sensitive and too good-natured. Everyone knew this, and some were almost cruel to me because of it. People wanted to teach me; nearly everyone said I was spoiled by praise, so they would tell me the truth. I constantly heard about my faults, both real and imagined. Meanwhile, my feelings would erupt, and I declared that I would become a poet whom they would see honored. But this was seen only as the height of unbearable vanity, repeated from house to house. They said I was a good man, but one of the vainest in existence. During this time, I often felt ready to despair of my abilities and, like in the darkest days of school, felt as if my talents were a self-deception. I almost believed it, but I couldn’t stand hearing the same harsh things said, mockingly, by others. If I ever said something proud or inconsiderate, it was directed at the source of my pain; and when those who hurt me were people I loved, then the pain became even more intense.
For this reason Collin thought that I should make a little journey,—for instance, to North Germany,—in order to divert my mind and furnish me with new ideas.
For this reason, Collin thought I should take a short trip—like to North Germany—so I could clear my mind and get some fresh ideas.
In the spring of 1831, I left Denmark for the first time. I saw L bek and Hamburg. Everything astonished me and occupied my mind. I saw mountains for the first time,—the Harzgebirge. The world expanded so astonishingly before me. My good humor returned to me, as to the bird of passage. Sorrow is the flock of sparrows which remains behind, and builds in the nests of the birds of passage. But I did not feel myself wholly restored.
In the spring of 1831, I left Denmark for the first time. I visited Lübeck and Hamburg. Everything amazed me and filled my thoughts. I saw mountains for the first time— the Harz Mountains. The world opened up so incredibly before me. My good spirits came back, like a migratory bird. Sadness is like the flock of sparrows that stays behind, nesting in the homes of the migratory birds. But I didn’t feel completely healed.
In Dresden I made acquaintance with Tieck. Ingemann had given me a letter to him. I heard him one evening read aloud one of Shakspeare's plays. On taking leave of him, he wished me a poet's success, embraced and kissed me; which made the deepest impression upon me. The expression of his eyes I shall never forget. I left him with tears, and prayed most fervently to God for strength to enable me to pursue the way after which my whole soul strove—strength, which should enable me to express that which I felt in my soul; and that when I next saw Tieck, I might be known and valued by him. It was not until several years afterwards, when my later works were translated into German, and well received in his country, that we saw each other again; I felt the true hand-pressure of him who had given to me, in my second father-land, the kiss of consecration.
In Dresden, I met Tieck. Ingemann had given me a letter to him. One evening, I listened to him reading one of Shakespeare's plays aloud. When I said goodbye, he wished me success as a poet, embraced me, and kissed me, which left a profound impact on me. I'll never forget the look in his eyes. I left him in tears, praying earnestly to God for strength to pursue the path my soul longed for—strength that would help me express my deepest feelings; and that when I next saw Tieck, I would be recognized and appreciated by him. It wasn't until several years later, when my later works were translated into German and well-received in his country, that we met again; I felt the genuine handshake from the one who had given me, in my second homeland, the kiss of blessing.
In Berlin, a letter of Oersted's procured me the acquaintance of Chamisso. That grave man, with his long locks and honest eyes, opened the door to me himself, read the letter, and I know not how it was, but we understood each other immediately. I felt perfect confidence in him, and told him so, though it was in bad German. Chamisso understood Danish; I gave him my poems, and he was the first who translated any of them, and thus introduced me into Germany. It was thus he spoke of me at that time in the Morgenblatt: "Gifted with wit, fancy, humor, and a national naivet , Andersen has still in his power tones which awaken deeper echoes. He understands, in particular, how with perfect ease, by a few slight but graphic touches, to call into existence little pictures and landscapes, but which are often so peculiarly local as not to interest those who are unfamiliar with the home of the poet. Perhaps that which may be translated from him, or which is so already, may be the least calculated to give a proper idea of him."
In Berlin, a letter from Oersted introduced me to Chamisso. The serious man, with his long hair and sincere eyes, opened the door for me, read the letter, and somehow, we immediately connected. I felt completely confident in him and told him so, even though my German was poor. Chamisso understood Danish; I gave him my poems, and he was the first to translate any of them, thus helping me make my way into Germany. This is how he described me at that time in the Morgenblatt: "Gifted with wit, imagination, humor, and a national innocence, Andersen still possesses tones that evoke deeper emotions. He particularly knows how, with a few simple but vivid touches, to bring little pictures and landscapes to life, though they can often be so locally specific that they might not interest those unfamiliar with the poet's homeland. Perhaps what has been translated from him, or what is so already, is the least likely to convey an accurate impression of him."
Chamisso became a friend for my whole life. The pleasure which he had in my later writings may be seen by the printed letters addressed to me in the collected edition of his works.
Chamisso became a lifelong friend. The enjoyment he found in my later writings can be seen in the printed letters he wrote to me in the collected edition of his works.
The little journey in Germany had great influence upon me, as my Copenhagen friends acknowledged. The impressions of the journey were immediately written down, and I gave them forth under the title of "Shadow Pictures." Whether I were actually improved or not, there still prevailed at home the same petty pleasure in dragging out my faults, the same perpetual schooling of me; and I was weak enough to endure it from those who were officious meddlers. I seldom made a joke of it; but if I did so, it was called arrogance and vanity, and it was asserted that I never would listen to rational people. Such an instructor once asked me whether I wrote Dog with a little d;—he had found such an error of the press in my last work. I replied, jestingly, "Yes, because I here spoke of a little dog."
The short trip to Germany really impacted me, as my friends in Copenhagen noted. I immediately wrote down my impressions from the journey and published them as "Shadow Pictures." Whether I actually grew from the experience or not, I still faced the same petty criticisms at home, with people constantly pointing out my faults; I was too weak to stand up to those who liked to meddle. I rarely joked about it, but when I did, it was labeled as arrogance and vanity, and people claimed I wouldn't listen to rational opinions. One instructor asked me if I wrote Dog with a lowercase d—he had spotted that error in my last book. I jokingly replied, "Yes, because I was talking about a little dog."
But these are small troubles, people will say. Yes, but they are drops which wear hollows in the rock. I speak of it here; I feel a necessity to do so; here to protest against the accusation of vanity, which, since no other error can be discovered in my private life, is seized upon, and even now is thrown at me like an old medal.
But these are minor issues, people might say. Sure, but they are like drops that wear away at the stone. I'm bringing this up because I feel it's necessary; I'm here to push back against the claim of vanity, which, since no other flaws can be found in my personal life, is seized upon and even now is thrown at me like an old medal.
From the end of the year 1828, to the beginning of 1839, I maintained myself alone by my writings. Denmark is a small country; but few books at that time went to Sweden and Norway; and on that account the profit could not be great. It was difficult for me to pull through,—doubly difficult, because my dress must in some measure accord with the circles into which I went. To produce, and always to be producing, was destructive, nay, impossible. I translated a few pieces for the theatre,—La Quarantaine, and La Reine de seize ans; and as, at that time, a young composer of the name of Hartmann, a grandson of him who composed the Danish folks-song of "King Christian stood by the tall, tall mast," wished for text to an opera, I was of course ready to write it. Through the writings of Hoffman, my attention had been turned to the masked comedies of Gozzi: I read Il Corvo, and finding that it was an excellent subject, I wrote, in a few weeks, my opera-text of the Raven. It will sound strange to the ears of countrymen when I say that I, at that time, recommended Hartmann; that I gave my word for it, in my letter to the theatrical directors, for his being a man of talent, who would produce something good. He now takes the first rank among the living Danish composers.
From the end of 1828 to the beginning of 1839, I supported myself solely through my writing. Denmark is a small country, and back then, only a few books were sent to Sweden and Norway, which meant the profits weren't substantial. It was tough for me to get by—especially since I had to dress in a way that fit in with the circles I moved in. Constantly producing content was exhausting, even impossible. I translated a few pieces for the theater—La Quarantaine and La Reine de seize ans; and during that time, a young composer named Hartmann, who was the grandson of the composer of the Danish folk song "King Christian stood by the tall, tall mast," wanted lyrics for an opera, so I was happy to write them. After reading Hoffman’s works, I became interested in Gozzi's masked comedies: I read Il Corvo and, seeing its potential, wrote the libretto for my opera version of The Raven in just a few weeks. It might sound strange to my fellow countrymen, but at that time, I actually recommended Hartmann; I vouched for him in my letter to the theater directors, asserting that he was talented and would create something great. Now, he holds the top position among living Danish composers.
I worked up also Walter Scott's "Bride of Lammermoor" for another young composer, Bredal. Both operas appeared on the stage; but I was subjected to the most merciless criticism, as one who had stultified the labors of foreign poets. What people had discovered to be good in me before seemed now to be forgotten, and all talent was denied to me. The composer Weyse, my earliest benefactor, whom I have already mentioned, was, on the contrary, satisfied in the highest degree with my treatment of these subjects. He told me that he had wished for a long time to compose an opera from Walter Scott's "Kenilworth." He now requested me to commence the joint work, and write the text. I had no idea of the summary justice which would be dealt to me. I needed money to live, and, what still more determined me to it, I felt flattered to have to work with Weyse our most celebrated composer. It delighted me that he, who had first spoken in my favor at Siboni's house, now, as artist, sought a noble connection with me. I had scarcely half finished the text, when I was already blamed for having made use of a well-known romance. I wished to give it up; but Weyse consoled me, and encouraged me to proceed. Afterwards, before he had finished the music, when I was about to travel abroad, I committed my fate, as regarded the text, entirely to his hands. He wrote whole verses of it, and the altered conclusion is wholly his own. It was a peculiarity of that singular man that he liked no book which ended sorrowfully. For that reason, Amy must marry Leicester, and Elizabeth say, "Proud England, I am thine." I opposed this at the beginning; but afterwards I yielded, and the piece was really half-created by Weyse. It was brought on the stage, but was not printed, with the exception of the songs. To this followed anonymous attacks: the city post brought me letters in which the unknown writers scoffed at and derided me. That same year I published a new collection of poetry, "The Twelve Months of the Year;" and this book, though it was afterwards pronounced to contain the greater part of my best lyrical poems, was then condemned as bad.
I also adapted Walter Scott's "Bride of Lammermoor" for another young composer, Bredal. Both operas were performed, but I faced harsh criticism for supposedly undermining the work of foreign poets. The good qualities people had once recognized in me seemed to be forgotten, and they denied I had any talent. The composer Weyse, my earliest supporter, whom I've mentioned before, was extremely pleased with how I handled these stories. He shared that he had wanted to compose an opera based on Walter Scott's "Kenilworth" for a long time. He then asked me to start the collaboration and write the libretto. I had no idea about the unfair judgment that awaited me. I needed money to survive, and I also felt honored to be working with Weyse, our most celebrated composer. It thrilled me that he, who had first supported me at Siboni's house, was now seeking an artistic partnership with me. I had barely finished the libretto when I was criticized for using a well-known novel. I wanted to quit, but Weyse encouraged me to keep going. Later, just before he finished the music, I was about to travel abroad, so I handed over the text entirely to him. He wrote whole verses, and the revised ending is entirely his. One of his quirks was that he disliked stories that ended sadly. For that reason, Amy had to marry Leicester, and Elizabeth needed to say, "Proud England, I am thine." I initially disagreed, but eventually, I gave in, and the piece was really shaped by Weyse. It was staged, but only the songs were published. Afterward, I received anonymous attacks: the city post would bring me letters from unknown writers who mocked and ridiculed me. That same year, I published a new poetry collection, "The Twelve Months of the Year;" although later it was considered to contain most of my best lyrical poems, it was initially condemned as poor.
At that time "The Monthly Review of Literature," though it is now gone to its grave, was in its full bloom. At its first appearance, it numbered among its co-workers some of the most distinguished names. Its want, however, was men who were qualified to speak ably on aesthetic works. Unfortunately, everybody fancies himself able to give an opinion upon these; but people may write excellently on surgery or pedagogical science, and may have a name in those things, and yet be dolts in poetry: of this proofs may be seen. By degrees it became more and more difficult for the critical bench to find a judge for poetical works. The one, however, who, through his extraordinary zeal for writing and speaking, was ready at hand, was the historian and states-councillor Molbeck, who played, in our time, so great a part in the history of Danish criticism, that I must speak of him rather more fully. He is an industrious collector, writes extremely correct Danish, and his Danish dictionary, let him be reproached with whatever want he may, is a most highly useful work; but, as a judge of aesthetic works, he is one-sided, and even fanatically devoted to party spirit. He belongs, unfortunately, to the men of science, who are only one sixty-fourth of a poet, and who are the most incompetent judges of aesthetics. He has, for example, by his critiques on Ingemann's romances, shown how far he is below the poetry which he censures. He has himself published a volume of poems, which belong to the common run of books, "A Ramble through Denmark," written in the fade, flowery style of those times, and "A Journey through Germany, France, and Italy," which seems to be made up out of books, not out of life. He sate in his study, or in the Royal Library, where he has a post, when suddenly he became director of the theatre and censor of the pieces sent in. He was sickly, one-sided in judgment, and irritable: people may imagine the result. He spoke of my first poems very favorably; but my star soon sank for another, who was in the ascendant, a young lyrical poet, Paludan Muller; and, as he no longer loved, he hated me. That is the short history; indeed, in the selfsame Monthly Review the very poems which had formerly been praised were now condemned by the same judge, when they appeared in a new increased edition. There is a Danish proverb, "When the carriage drags, everybody pushes behind;" and I proved the truth of it now.
At that time, "The Monthly Review of Literature," though it's now long gone, was thriving. When it first launched, it featured some of the most notable contributors. However, it lacked people who were truly qualified to discuss aesthetic works. Sadly, everyone thinks they can provide an opinion on these topics; yet individuals might write brilliantly on surgery or education and gain recognition in those fields, while still being clueless about poetry—this can be clearly seen. Gradually, it became increasingly difficult for the critics to find someone qualified to judge poetic works. One person, however, who was always ready with his eagerness for writing and speaking, was the historian and state councilor Molbeck, who played a significant role in the history of Danish criticism, warranting a more detailed mention. He’s a diligent collector, writes very correct Danish, and his Danish dictionary, despite any shortcomings, is an incredibly useful resource. But as a judge of aesthetic works, he is biased and even fanatically dedicated to his side. Unfortunately, he is one of those scholars who is only a tiny bit of a poet and the least capable of judging aesthetics. For instance, through his critiques of Ingemann's romances, he has demonstrated how far he falls short of the poetry he criticizes. He has published a volume of poems that are quite ordinary, "A Ramble through Denmark," written in the dull, flowery style of the era, and "A Journey through Germany, France, and Italy," which feels like it's pieced together from books rather than real-life experiences. He would sit in his study or at the Royal Library, where he held a position, and then suddenly became the director of the theater and the censor for submitted works. He was delicate, biased in his judgment, and irritable; one can imagine the outcome. He initially spoke very positively of my first poems, but my star quickly faded for another shining figure, a young lyrical poet, Paludan Muller; and since he no longer admired me, he grew to hate me. That’s the brief history; in fact, in the very same Monthly Review, the poems that had once received praise were now condemned by the same critic when they were published in a new, expanded edition. There’s a Danish proverb: "When the carriage drags, everybody pushes from behind," and I now proved the truth of that saying.
It happened that a new star in Danish literature ascended at this time. Heinrich Hertz published his "Letters from the Dead" anonymously: it was a mode of driving all the unclean things out of the temple. The deceased Baggesen sent polemical letters from Paradise, which resembled in the highest degree the style of that author. They contained a sort of apotheosis of Heiberg, and in part attacks upon Oehlenschl ger and Hauch. The old story about my orthographical errors was again revived; my name and my school-days in Slagelse were brought into connection with St. Anders.
It turned out that a new star in Danish literature was rising at this time. Heinrich Hertz published his "Letters from the Dead" anonymously; it was a way to purge all the impurities from the temple. The late Baggesen sent provocative letters from Paradise that were very similar in style to his own. They included a kind of tribute to Heiberg and were partly critiques of Oehlenschläger and Hauch. The old tale about my spelling mistakes came up again; my name and my school days in Slagelse were linked to St. Anders.
I was ridiculed, or if people will, I was chastised. Hertz's book went through all Denmark; people spoke of nothing but him. It made it still more piquant that the author of the work could not be discovered. People were enraptured, and justly. Heiberg, in his "Flying Post," defended a few aesthetical insignificants, but not me. I felt the wound of the sharp knife deeply. My enemies now regarded me as entirely shut out from the world of spirits. I however in a short time published a little book, "Vignettes to the Danish Poets," in which I characterized the dead and the living authors in a few lines each, but only spoke of that which was good in them. The book excited attention; it was regarded as one of the best of my works; it was imitated, but the critics did not meddle with it. It was evident, on this occasion, as had already been the case, that the critics never laid hands on those of my works which were the most successful.
I was mocked, or if you prefer, I was scolded. Hertz's book became popular all over Denmark; people couldn’t stop talking about him. It was even more intriguing that no one could figure out who the author was. People were captivated, and rightly so. Heiberg, in his "Flying Post," defended a few minor aesthetic figures, but not me. I felt the sting of that sharp knife deeply. My enemies now saw me as completely excluded from the world of spirits. However, I soon published a little book, "Vignettes to the Danish Poets," where I described both deceased and living authors in just a few lines while highlighting only the good in them. The book attracted attention; it was considered one of my best works; it was copied, but the critics stayed away from it. It became clear, just as it had before, that the critics never targeted my most successful works.
My affairs were now in their worst condition; and precisely in that same year in which a stipend for travelling had been conferred upon Hertz, I also had presented a petition for the same purpose. The universal opinion was that I had reached the point of culmination, and if I was to succeed in travelling it must be at this present time. I felt, what since then has become an acknowledged fact, that travelling would be the best school for me. In the mean time I was told that to bring it under consideration I must endeavor to obtain from the most distinguished poets and men of science a kind of recommendation; because this very year there were so many distinguished young men who were soliciting a stipend, that it would be difficult among these to put in an available claim. I therefore obtained recommendations for myself; and I am, so far as I know, the only Danish poet who was obliged to produce recommendations to prove that he was a poet.
My situation was at its lowest; and exactly in the same year that Hertz was granted funding for travel, I also submitted a request for the same opportunity. Everyone believed I had reached a critical point, and if I was going to succeed in traveling, it had to be now. I felt, what has since become widely accepted, that traveling would be the best education for me. In the meantime, I was informed that to have my request considered, I needed to secure endorsements from prominent poets and scientists; this year saw so many accomplished young men applying for funding that it would be tough to stand out among them. So, I managed to get recommendations for myself; and to my knowledge, I'm the only Danish poet who had to provide endorsements to prove he was a poet.
And here also it is remarkable, that the men who recommended me have each one made prominent some very different qualification which gave me a claim: for instance, Oehlenschl ger, my lyrical power, and the earnestness that was in me; Ingemann, my skill in depicting popular life; Heiberg declared that, since the days of Wessel, no Danish poet had possessed so much humor as myself; Oersted remarked, every one, they who were against me as well as those who were for me, agreed on one subject, and this was that I was a true poet. Thiele expressed himself warmly and enthusiastically about the power which he had seen in me, combating against the oppression and the misery of life. I received a stipend for travelling; Hertz a larger and I a smaller one: and that also was quite in the order of things.
And it's interesting to note that the people who recommended me each highlighted different strengths that qualified me for recognition. For example, Oehlenschläger mentioned my lyrical talent and the seriousness I embodied; Ingemann pointed out my ability to depict everyday life; Heiberg stated that no Danish poet since Wessel had as much humor as I do; Oersted noted that everyone, both my supporters and critics, agreed on one thing: I was a true poet. Thiele spoke passionately and enthusiastically about the power he had witnessed in me as I stood against life’s oppression and suffering. I received a travel stipend; Hertz got a larger one while mine was smaller, which felt perfectly normal given the circumstances.
"Now be happy," said my friends, "make yourself aware of your unbounded good fortune! Enjoy the present moment, as it will probably be the only time in which you will get abroad. You shall hear what people say about you while you are travelling, and how we shall defend you; sometimes, however, we shall not be able to do that."
"Now be happy," said my friends, "recognize your incredible good luck! Enjoy the moment, as it might be your only chance to travel. You’ll hear what people say about you while you’re away, and how we’ll stand up for you; sometimes, though, we might not be able to do that."
It was painful to me to hear such things said; I felt a compulsion of soul to be away, that I might, if possible, breathe freely; but sorrow is firmly seated on the horse of the rider. More than one sorrow oppressed my heart, and although I opened the chambers of my heart to the world, one or two of them I keep locked, nevertheless. On setting out on my journey, my prayer to God was that I might die far away from Denmark, or return strengthened for activity, and in a condition to produce works which should win for me and my beloved ones joy and honor.
It hurt me to hear such things said; I felt a deep need to get away so that I could, if possible, breathe freely. But sorrow is firmly in control. More than one sadness weighed on my heart, and even though I opened my heart to the world, I still keep a few parts locked away. As I set out on my journey, my prayer to God was to either die far from Denmark or return renewed and ready to create works that would bring joy and honor to myself and my loved ones.
Precisely at the moment of setting out on my journey, the form of my beloved arose in my heart. Among the few whom I have already named, there are two who exercised a great influence upon my life and my poetry, and these I must more particularly mention. A beloved mother, an unusually liberal-minded and well educated lady, Madame L ss c, had introduced me into her agreeable circle of friends; she often felt the deepest sympathy with me in my troubles; she always turned my attention to the beautiful in nature and the poetical in the details of life, and as almost everyone regarded me as a poet, she elevated my mind; yes, and if there be tenderness and purity in anything which I have written, they are among those things for which I have especially to be thankful to her. Another character of great importance to me was Collin's son Edward. Brought up under fortunate circumstances of life, he was possessed of that courage and determination which I wanted. I felt that he sincerely loved me, and I full of affection, threw myself upon him with my whole soul; he passed on calmly and practically through the business of life. I often mistook him at the very moment when he felt for me most deeply, and when he would gladly have infused into me a portion of his own character,—to me who was as a reed shaken by the wind. In the practical part of life, he, the younger, stood actively by my side, from the assistance which he gave in my Latin exercises, to the arranging the business of bringing out editions of my works. He has always remained the same; and were I to enumerate my friends, he would be placed by me as the first on the list. When the traveller leaves the mountains behind him, then for the first time he sees them in their true form: so is it also with friends.
Right when I was about to start my journey, the image of my beloved came to my mind. Among the few I've already mentioned, there are two who had a significant impact on my life and poetry, and I need to highlight them more specifically. A dear mother, an exceptionally open-minded and well-educated woman, Madame L ss c, welcomed me into her wonderful circle of friends; she often empathized deeply with my struggles. She always pointed out the beauty in nature and the poetic details of life. Since almost everyone saw me as a poet, she raised my spirits; yes, if there’s any tenderness and purity in anything I’ve written, it’s largely thanks to her. Another important figure in my life was Edward, Collin’s son. Growing up under fortunate circumstances, he had the courage and determination that I lacked. I sensed that he genuinely cared for me, and with all my heart, I leaned on him; he navigated life’s challenges calmly and practically. I often misjudged his feelings for me in moments when he cared the most and would have loved to share part of his strength with me—someone as fragile as a reed swaying in the wind. In the practical aspects of life, he, being younger, always stood by my side, from helping me with my Latin exercises to organizing the publication of my works. He has remained consistent over the years; if I were to list my friends, he would be at the top. Just like a traveler sees the mountains in their true shape after leaving them behind, it's the same with friends.
I arrived at Paris by way of Cassel and the Rhine. I retained a vivid impression of all that I saw. The idea for a poem fixed itself firmer and firmer in my mind; and I hoped, as it became more clearly worked out, to propitiate by it my enemies. There is an old Danish folks-song of Agnete and the Merman, which bore an affinity to my own state of mind, and to the treatment of which I felt an inward impulse. The song tells that Agnete wandered solitarily along the shore, when a merman rose up from the waves and decoyed her by his speeches. She followed him to the bottom of the sea, remained there seven years, and bore him seven children. One day, as she sat by the cradle, she heard the church bells sounding down to her in the depths of the sea, and a longing seized her heart to go to church. By her prayers and tears she induced the merman to conduct her to the upper world again, promising soon to return. He prayed her not to forget his children, more especially the little one in the cradle; stopped up her ears and her mouth, and then led her upwards to the sea-shore. When, however, she entered the church, all the holy images, as soon as they saw her, a daughter of sin and from the depths of the sea, turned themselves round to the walls. She was affrighted, and would not return, although the little ones in her home below were weeping.
I arrived in Paris via Cassel and the Rhine. I had a clear and strong impression of everything I saw. The idea for a poem began to take shape in my mind more and more, and I hoped that as it became more clearly defined, it would help win over my enemies. There’s an old Danish folk song about Agnete and the Merman that resonated with my state of mind, and I felt a deep urge to explore its themes. The song tells the story of Agnete who wandered alone along the shore when a merman emerged from the waves and lured her in with his words. She followed him to the bottom of the sea, stayed there for seven years, and had seven children with him. One day, while sitting by the cradle, she heard church bells ringing from far away in the depths of the sea, and a longing filled her heart to attend church. Through her prayers and tears, she convinced the merman to take her back to the surface, promising to return soon. He urged her not to forget their children, especially the little one in the cradle; he blocked her ears and mouth, then led her up to the shore. However, when she entered the church, all the holy figures immediately turned their backs on her, a daughter of sin from the depths of the sea. She was scared and refused to go back, even though her little ones below were crying for her.
I treated this subject freely, in a lyrical and dramatic manner. I will venture to say that the whole grew out of my heart; all the recollections of our beechwoods and the open sea were blended in it.
I approached this topic openly, in a lyrical and dramatic way. I can confidently say that everything came from my heart; all the memories of our beechwoods and the open sea were woven into it.
In the midst of the excitement of Paris I lived in the spirit of the Danish folks-songs. The most heartfelt gratitude to God filled my soul, because I felt that all which I had, I had received through his mercy; yet at the same time I took a lively interest in all that surrounded me. I was present at one of the July festivals, in their first freshness; it was in the year 1833. I saw the unveiling of Napoleon's pillar. I gazed on the world-experienced King Louis Philippe, who is evidently defended by Providence. I saw the Duke of Orleans, full of health and the enjoyment of life, dancing at the gay people's ball, in the gay Maison de Ville. Accident led in Paris to my first meeting with Heine, the poet, who at that time occupied the throne in my poetical world. When I told him how happy this meeting and his kind words made me, he said that this could not very well be the case, else I should have sought him out. I replied, that I had not done so precisely because I estimated him so highly. I should have feared that he might have thought it ridiculous in me, an unknown Danish poet, to seek him out; "and," added I, "your sarcastic smile would deeply have wounded me." In reply, he said something friendly.
In the midst of the excitement of Paris, I was filled with the spirit of the Danish folk songs. My heart was overflowing with gratitude to God because I felt that everything I had was a gift from His mercy; yet at the same time, I was genuinely interested in everything around me. I attended one of the July festivals, fresh and vibrant, in the year 1833. I witnessed the unveiling of Napoleon's pillar. I looked at the world-wise King Louis Philippe, who seemed to be under divine protection. I saw the Duke of Orleans, full of health and enjoying life, dancing at the lively ball in the cheerful Maison de Ville. By chance, I had my first encounter with Heine, the poet who was at that time at the peak of my poetic world. When I told him how happy this meeting and his kind words made me, he replied that it didn’t seem likely, or else I would have sought him out. I explained that I hadn’t approached him precisely because I held him in such high regard. I feared he might find it ridiculous for an unknown Danish poet to seek him out; "and," I added, "your sarcastic smile would have hurt me deeply." In response, he said something friendly.
Several years afterwards, when we again met in Paris, he gave me a cordial reception, and I had a view into the brightly poetical portion of his soul.
Several years later, when we met again in Paris, he welcomed me warmly, and I got a glimpse into the beautifully poetic side of his soul.
Paul D port met me with equal kindness. Victor Hugo also received me.
Paul D. Port greeted me with equal warmth. Victor Hugo welcomed me as well.
During my journey to Paris, and the whole month that I spent there, I heard not a single word from home. Could my friends perhaps have nothing agreeable to tell me? At length, however, a letter arrived; a large letter, which cost a large sum in postage. My heart beat with joy and yearning impatience; it was, indeed, my first letter. I opened it, but I discovered not a single written word, nothing but a Copenhagen newspaper, containing a lampoon upon me, and that was sent to me all that distance with postage unpaid, probably by the anonymous writer himself. This abominable malice wounded me deeply. I have never discovered who the author was, perhaps he was one of those who afterwards called me friend, and pressed my hand. Some men have base thoughts: I also have mine.
During my trip to Paris, and throughout the entire month I spent there, I didn't hear a single word from home. Could it be that my friends had nothing good to share? Finally, a letter arrived; a big letter that must have cost a lot to mail. My heart raced with joy and anxious anticipation; it was, after all, my first letter. I opened it, only to find that there were no words written inside, just a Copenhagen newspaper with a satirical piece about me, sent all that way with unpaid postage, probably by the anonymous writer himself. This outrageous malice cut me deeply. I've never found out who the author was; he could be one of those who later claimed to be my friend and shook my hand. Some people have low thoughts: I have mine too.
It is a weakness of my country-people, that commonly, when abroad, during their residence in large cities, they almost live exclusively in company together; they must dine together, meet at the theatre, and see all the lions of the place in company. Letters are read by each other; news of home is received and talked over, and at last they hardly know whether they are in a foreign land or their own. I had given way to the same weakness in Paris; and in leaving it, therefore, determined for one month to board myself in some quiet place in Switzerland, and live only among the French, so as to be compelled to speak their language, which was necessary to me in the highest degree.
It’s a flaw of my fellow countrymen that when they’re abroad, especially in big cities, they tend to stick together almost exclusively. They have to eat together, go to the theater together, and see all the attractions as a group. They read each other’s letters, share news from home, and eventually, they barely know if they’re in a foreign place or back home. I had fallen into the same habit in Paris, so when I left, I decided that for one month, I would stay in a quiet place in Switzerland and live solely among the French, forcing myself to speak their language, which I really needed to improve.
In the little city of Lodi, in a valley of the Jura mountains, where the snow fell in August, and the clouds floated below us, was I received by the amiable family of a wealthy watchmaker. They would not hear a word about payment. I lived among them and their friends as a relation, and when we parted the children wept. We had become friends, although I could not understand their patois; they shouted loudly into my ear, because they fancied I must be deaf, as I could not understand them. In the evenings, in that elevated region, there was a repose and a stillness in nature, and the sound of the evening bells ascended to us from the French frontier. At some distance from the city, stood a solitary house, painted white and clean; on descending through two cellars, the noise of a millwheel was heard, and the rushing waters of a river which flowed on here, hidden from the world. I often visited this place in my solitary rambles, and here I finished my poem of "Agnete and the Merman," which I had begun in Paris.
In the small city of Lodi, nestled in a valley of the Jura mountains, where it could snow in August and the clouds floated below us, I was welcomed by the friendly family of a wealthy watchmaker. They wouldn’t hear a word about payment. I lived with them and their friends like family, and when we said goodbye, the children cried. We had become friends, even though I couldn’t understand their dialect; they shouted loudly in my ear because they thought I must be deaf since I didn’t get what they were saying. In the evenings, in that high region, there was a peaceful stillness in nature, and we could hear the evening bells ringing from the French border. A little away from the city stood a solitary house, painted white and kept clean; as I descended through two cellars, I could hear the sound of a millwheel and the rushing waters of a river flowing here, hidden from the world. I often visited this place during my solitary walks, and it was there that I finished my poem, "Agnete and the Merman," which I had started in Paris.
I sent home this poem from Lodi; and never, with my earlier or my later works, were my hopes so high as they were now. But it was received coldly. People said I had done it in imitation of Oehlenschl ger, who at one time sent home masterpieces. Within the last few years, I fancy, this poem has been somewhat more read, and has met with its friends. It was, however, a step forwards, and it decided, as it were, unconsciously to me, my pure lyrical phasis. It has been also of late critically adjudged in Denmark, that, notwithstanding that on its first appearance it excited far less attention than some of my earlier and less successful works, still that in this the poetry is of a deeper, fuller, and more powerful character than anything which I had hitherto produced.
I sent this poem home from Lodi, and never before or since have my hopes been as high as they were then. But it was met with indifference. People said I was just copying Oehlenschl ger, who once sent home masterpieces. In recent years, I believe this poem has been read a bit more and has found its audience. Still, it was a step forward and, in a way, it unconsciously defined my pure lyrical phase. Recently, it has also been critically evaluated in Denmark, and despite receiving much less attention at first than some of my earlier and less successful works, it’s now considered to have deeper, fuller, and more powerful poetry than anything I had created up to that point.
This poem closes one portion of my life.
This poem marks the end of one part of my life.
CHAPTER V.
On the 5th of September, 1833, I crossed the Simplon on my way to Italy. On the very day, on which, fourteen years before, I had arrived poor and helpless in Copenhagen, did I set foot in this country of my longing and of my poetical happiness. It happened in this case, as it often does, by accident, without any arrangement on my part, as if I had preordained lucky days in the year; yet good fortune has so frequently been with me, that I perhaps only remind myself of its visits on my own self-elected days.
On September 5, 1833, I crossed the Simplon on my way to Italy. On the exact day fourteen years earlier, when I had arrived in Copenhagen feeling poor and helpless, I stepped into this country that I longed for and where I found my poetic happiness. It happened, as it often does, by chance, without any planning on my part, as if I had marked certain lucky days in the year; yet good luck has often been on my side, so I might only be recalling its visits on the days I’ve chosen for myself.
All was sunshine—all was spring! The vine hung in long trails from tree to tree; never since have I seen Italy so beautiful. I sailed on Lago Maggiore; ascended the cathedral of Milan; passed several days in Genoa, and made from thence a journey, rich in the beauties of nature, along the shore to Carrara. I had seen statues in Paris, but my eyes were closed to them; in Florence, before the Venus de Medici, it was for the first time as if scales fell from my eyes; a new world of art disclosed itself before me; that was the first fruit of my journey. Here it was that I first learned to understand the beauty of form—the spirit which reveals itself in form. The life of the people—nature—all was new to me; and yet as strangely familiar as if I were come to a home where I had lived in my childhood. With a peculiar rapidity did I seize upon everything, and entered into its life, whilst a deep northern melancholy—it was not home-sickness, but a heavy, unhappy feeling—filled my breast. I received the news in Rome, of how little the poem of Agnete, which I had sent home, was thought of there; the next letter in Rome brought me the news that my mother was dead. I was now quite alone in the world.
Everything was bright and lively—spring was in the air! Vines draped down from tree to tree; I've never seen Italy so stunning since then. I sailed on Lake Maggiore, climbed the cathedral in Milan, spent several days in Genoa, and then took a beautiful journey along the coast to Carrara. I'd seen statues in Paris, but I hadn’t truly appreciated them; in Florence, standing before the Venus de Medici, it was like a veil was lifted from my eyes; a whole new world of art opened up before me; that was the first reward of my trip. It was here that I first learned to recognize the beauty of form—the spirit that reveals itself through form. The life of the people and nature—everything was new to me; yet it felt strangely familiar, as if I had returned to a home from my childhood. I absorbed everything quickly and immersed myself in its life, while a deep northern melancholy—more than just homesickness, a heavy and unhappy feeling—filled my heart. I received news in Rome about how little my poem, Agnete, was valued; the next letter from Rome brought the news that my mother had passed away. I was now entirely alone in the world.
It was at this time, and in Rome, that my first meeting with Hertz took place. In a letter which I had received from Collin, he had said that it would give him pleasure to hear that Hertz and I had become friends; but even without this wish it would have happened, for Hertz kindly offered me his hand, and expressed sympathy with my sorrow. He had, of all those with whom I was at that time acquainted, the most variously cultivated mind. We had often disputations together, even about the attacks which had been made upon me at home as a poet. He, who had himself given me a wound, said the following words, which deeply impressed themselves on my memory: "Your misfortune is, that you have been obliged to print everything; the public has been able to follow you step by step. I believe that even, a Goethe himself must have suffered the same fate, had he been in your situation." And then he praised my talent for seizing upon the characteristics of nature, and giving, by a few intuitive sketches, pictures of familiar life. My intercourse with him was very instructive to me, and I felt that I had one merciful judge more. I travelled in company with him to Naples, where we dwelt together in one house.
It was around this time, in Rome, that I first met Hertz. In a letter I received from Collin, he mentioned it would make him happy to hear that Hertz and I had become friends; but even without that encouragement, it would have happened anyway, as Hertz kindly offered me his hand and expressed sympathy for my sorrow. Of all the people I knew at that time, he had the most diverse and well-rounded mind. We often debated, even about the criticisms I faced at home as a poet. He, who had once hurt me, said something that stuck with me: "Your misfortune is that you had to publish everything; the public has been able to follow your journey step by step. I believe even Goethe would have experienced the same if he had been in your shoes." Then he praised my talent for capturing the essence of nature and creating vivid pictures of everyday life with just a few intuitive sketches. My conversations with him were very enlightening, and I felt I had one more compassionate judge on my side. I traveled with him to Naples, where we lived together in one house.
In Rome I also became first acquainted with Thorwaldsen. Many years before, when I had not long been in Copenhagen, and was walking through the streets as a poor boy, Thorwaldsen was there too: that was on his first return home. We met one another in the street. I knew that he was a distinguished man in art; I looked at him, I bowed; he went on, and then, suddenly turning round, came back to me, and said, "Where have I seen you before? I think we know one another." I replied, "No, we do not know one another at all." I now related this story to him in Rome; he smiled, pressed my hand, and said, "Yet we felt at that time that we should become good friends." I read Agnete to him; and that which delighted me in his judgment upon it was the assertion, "It is just," said he, "as if I were walking at home in the woods, and heard the Danish lakes;" and then he kissed me.
In Rome, I first met Thorwaldsen. Many years earlier, when I had just arrived in Copenhagen and was wandering the streets as a poor boy, he was there too, returning home for the first time. We crossed paths on the street. I recognized him as a prominent figure in the art world; I looked at him and nodded. He walked on, but then suddenly turned around, came back to me, and said, "Where have I seen you before? I think we know each other." I replied, "No, we don't know each other at all." I shared this story with him in Rome; he smiled, squeezed my hand, and said, "Yet we felt back then that we would become good friends." I read Agnete to him, and what delighted me most in his feedback was when he said, "It feels just like I am walking at home in the woods, listening to the Danish lakes;" and then he kissed me.
One day, when he saw how distressed I was, and I related to him about the pasquinade which I had received from home in Paris, he gnashed his teeth violently, and said, in momentary anger, "Yes, yes, I know the people; it would not have gone any better with me if I had remained there; I should then, perhaps, not even have obtained permission to set up a model. Thank God that I did not need them, for then they know how to torment and to annoy." He desired me to keep up a good heart, and then things could not fail of going well; and with that he told me of some dark passages in his own life, where he in like manner had been mortified and unjustly condemned.
One day, when he noticed how upset I was, and I told him about the harsh letter I had received from Paris, he ground his teeth in frustration and said, in a moment of anger, "Yeah, I know those people; it wouldn't have gone any better for me if I had stayed there. I probably wouldn't even have gotten permission to set up a model. Thank God I didn't need them, because they know how to torment and annoy." He urged me to stay positive, saying that if I did, things would turn out well. Then he shared some difficult times from his own life when he had also been humiliated and unfairly judged.
After the Carnival, I left Rome for Naples; saw at Capri the blue Grotto, which was at that time first discovered; visited the temple at Paestum, and returned in the Easter week to Rome, from whence I went through Florence and Venice to Vienna and Munich; but I had at that time neither mind nor heart for Germany; and when I thought on Denmark, I felt fear and distress of mind about the bad reception which I expected to find there. Italy, with its scenery and its people's life, occupied my soul, and towards this land I felt a yearning. My earlier life, and what I had now seen, blended themselves together into an image—into poetry, which I was compelled to write down, although I was convinced that it would occasion me more trouble than joy, if my necessities at home should oblige me to print it. I had written already in Rome the first chapter. It was my novel of "The Improvisatore."
After the Carnival, I left Rome for Naples; I saw the Blue Grotto in Capri, which was just discovered at that time; visited the temple at Paestum, and returned to Rome during Easter week. From there, I traveled through Florence and Venice to Vienna and Munich; but I wasn't really in the mood for Germany at that time, and when I thought about Denmark, I felt fear and anxiety about the bad reception I expected to find there. Italy, with its beautiful landscapes and vibrant culture, filled my mind, and I felt a strong longing for that place. My past experiences and what I had recently seen merged into a vision—into poetry, which I felt compelled to write down, even though I knew it would probably bring me more trouble than happiness, especially if I had to print it because of my obligations at home. I'd already written the first chapter in Rome. It was my novel "The Improvisatore."
At one of my first visits to the theatre at Odense, as a little boy, where, as I have already mentioned, the representations were given in the German language, I saw the Donauweibchen, and the public applauded the actress of the principal part. Homage was paid to her, and she was honored; and I vividly remember thinking how happy she must be.
At one of my first visits to the theater in Odense, when I was a little boy, where, as I’ve already mentioned, the performances were in German, I saw the Donauweibchen, and the audience applauded the actress in the lead role. She received accolades and was celebrated; I clearly remember thinking about how happy she must feel.
Many years afterwards, when, as a student, I visited Odense, I saw, in one of the chambers of the hospital where the poor widows lived and where one bed stood by another, a female portrait hanging over one bed in a gilt frame. It was Lessing's Emilia Galotti, and represented her as pulling the rose to pieces; but the picture was a portrait. It appeared singular in contrast with the poverty by which it was surrounded.
Many years later, when I was a student visiting Odense, I saw in one of the rooms of the hospital where the poor widows lived and where one bed was next to another, a female portrait hanging over one bed in a gold frame. It was Lessing's Emilia Galotti, depicted as pulling apart a rose; but the picture was actually a portrait. It seemed strikingly out of place against the backdrop of poverty.
"Whom does it represent?" asked I.
"Who does it represent?" I asked.
"Oh!" said one of the old women, "it is the face of the German lady, the poor lady who once was an actress!" And then I saw a little delicate woman, whose face was covered with wrinkles, and in an old silk gown that once had been black. That was the once celebrated Singer, who, as the Donauweibchen, had been applauded by every one. This circumstance made an indelible impression upon me, and often occurred to my mind.
"Oh!" said one of the old women, "it’s the face of the German lady, the poor lady who used to be an actress!" And then I saw a small, delicate woman, her face lined with wrinkles, wearing an old silk gown that used to be black. That was the once-famous singer, who, as the Donauweibchen, had been applauded by everyone. This experience left a lasting impression on me and often came to mind.
In Naples I heard Malibran for the first time. Her singing and acting surpassed anything which I had hitherto either heard or seen; and yet I thought the while of the miserably poor singer in the hospital of Odense: the two figures blended into the Annunciata of the novel. Italy was the back ground for that which had been experienced and that which was imagined. In August of 1834 I returned to Denmark. I wrote the first part of the book at Ingemann's, in Sor÷, in a little chamber in the roof, among fragrant lime-trees. I finished it in Copenhagen.
In Naples, I heard Malibran for the first time. Her singing and acting surpassed anything I had heard or seen before; yet I couldn't help but think of the desperately poor singer in the hospital of Odense: the two figures merged into the Annunciata of the novel. Italy served as the backdrop for what had been experienced and what was imagined. In August 1834, I returned to Denmark. I wrote the first part of the book at Ingemann's in Sorø, in a small room in the attic, surrounded by fragrant lime trees. I finished it in Copenhagen.
At this time my best friends, even, had almost given me up as a poet; they said that they had erred with regard to my talents. It was with difficulty that I found a publisher for the book. I received a miserable sum of money for it, and the "Improvisatore" made its appearance; was read, sold out, and again published. The critics were silent; the newspapers said nothing; but I heard all around me of the interest which was felt for the work, and the delight that it occasioned. At length the poet Carl Bagger, who was at that time the editor of a newspaper, wrote the first critique upon it, and began ironically, with the customary tirade against me—"that it was all over with this author, who had already passed his heyday;"—in short, he went the whole length of the tobacco and tea criticism, in order suddenly to dash out, and to express his extremely warm enthusiasm for me; and my book. People now laughed at me, but I wept. This was my mood of mind. I wept freely, and felt gratitude to God and man.
At that time, even my closest friends had all but given up on me as a poet; they said they had misjudged my talents. I struggled to find a publisher for the book. I got a paltry amount of money for it, and the "Improvisatore" was released; it got read, sold out, and was republished. The critics were quiet; the newspapers said nothing; but I heard all around me about the interest people had in the work and the joy it brought them. Finally, the poet Carl Bagger, who was then the editor of a newspaper, wrote the first review. He started off sarcastically, with the usual rant against me—claiming it was all over for this author, who had already seen his best days; in short, he went on a whole tirade against me and then suddenly turned around to express his genuine enthusiasm for me and my book. People laughed at me then, but I cried. That was how I felt. I cried freely and felt gratitude to God and to others.
"To the Conference Councillor Collin and to his noble wife, in whom I found parents, whose children were brethren and sisters to me, whose house was my home, do I here present the best of which I am possessed."—So ran the dedication. Many who formerly had been my enemy, now changed their opinion; and among these one became my friend, who, I hope, will remain so through the whole of my life. That was Hauch the poet, one of the noblest characters with whom I am acquainted. He had returned home from Italy after a residence of several years abroad, just at the time when Heiberg's vaudevilles were intoxicating the inhabitants of Copenhagen, and when my "Journey on Foot" was making me a little known. He commenced a controversy with Heiberg, and somewhat scoffed at me. Nobody called his attention to my better lyrical writings; I was described to him as a spoiled, petulant child of fortune. He now read my Improvisatore, and feeling that there was something good in me, his noble character evinced itself by his writing a cordial letter to me, in which he said, that he had done me an injustice, and offered me now the hand of reconciliation. From that time we became friends. He used his influence for me with the utmost zeal, and has watched my onward career with heartfelt friendship. But so little able have many people been to understand what is excellent in him, or the noble connection of heart between us two, that not long since, when he wrote a novel, and drew in it the caricature of a poet, whose vanity ended in insanity, the people in Denmark discovered that he had treated me with the greatest injustice, because he had described in it my weakness. People must not believe that this was the assertion of one single person, or a misapprehension of my character; no; and Hauch felt himself compelled to write a treatise upon me as a poet, that he might show what a different place he assigned to me.
"To Conference Councillor Collin and his noble wife, in whom I found parents, whose children were like siblings to me, and whose house was my home, I present the best of what I have."—So went the dedication. Many who had once been my enemies changed their minds; among them was one who became my friend, and I hope he will remain so for my entire life. That was Hauch the poet, one of the most remarkable individuals I know. He had just returned home from Italy after spending several years abroad, right when Heiberg's vaudevilles were captivating the people of Copenhagen, and my "Journey on Foot" was starting to gain me some recognition. He began a debate with Heiberg and made light of me. No one pointed out my better lyrical works to him; instead, I was described as a spoiled, petulant child of fortune. However, after reading my Improvisatore, he recognized that there was something worthwhile in me, and his noble character shone through when he wrote me a heartfelt letter, admitting that he had wronged me and extending a gesture of reconciliation. From that point on, we became friends. He devoted his influence to help me with great enthusiasm and has followed my progress with genuine friendship. Unfortunately, many people have been unable to appreciate his excellence or the deep bond between us. Not long ago, when he wrote a novel containing a caricature of a poet whose vanity drove him to madness, people in Denmark concluded that he had treated me unfairly because he depicted my flaws. It wasn't just one person's opinion or a misunderstanding of my character; Hauch felt compelled to write a piece about me as a poet to clarify the different regard in which he held me.
But to return to the "Improvisatore." This book raised my sunken fortunes; collected my friends again around me, nay, even obtained for me new ones. For the first time I felt that I had obtained a due acknowledgment. The book was translated into German by Kruse, with a long title, "Jugendleben und Tr ume eines italienischen Dichter's." I objected to the title; but he declared that it was necessary in order to attract attention to the book.
But to get back to the "Improvisatore." This book revived my lost fortunes; it brought my friends back to me and even gave me new ones. For the first time, I felt like I got the recognition I deserved. The book was translated into German by Kruse, with a long title, "Jugendleben und Tr ume eines italienischen Dichter's." I had a problem with the title, but he insisted it was necessary to draw attention to the book.
Bagger had, as already stated, been the first to pass judgment on the work; after an interval of some time a second critique made its appearance, more courteous, it is true, than I was accustomed to, but still passing lightly over the best things in the book and dwelling on its deficiencies, and on the number of incorrectly written Italian words. And, as Nicolai's well-known book, "Italy as it really is," came out just then, people universally said, "Now we shall be able to see what it is about which Andersen has written, for from Nicolai a true idea of Italy may be obtained for the first time."
Bagger had, as mentioned before, been the first to judge the work; after a while, a second review appeared, which was nicer than I was used to, but still skimmed over the best parts of the book and focused on its flaws and the number of misspelled Italian words. And, since Nicolai's famous book, "Italy as it Really Is," was released around the same time, everyone said, "Now we’ll finally see what Andersen is writing about, because Nicolai provides a real perspective on Italy for the first time."
It was from Germany that resounded the first decided acknowledgment of the merits of my work, or rather perhaps its over estimation. I bow myself in joyful gratitude, like a sick man toward the sunshine, when my heart is grateful. I am not, as the Danish Monthly Review, in its critique of the "Improvisatore," condescended to assert, an unthankful man, who exhibits in his work a want of gratitude towards his benefactors. I was indeed myself poor Antonio who sighed under the burden which I had to bear,—I, the poor lad who ate the bread of charity. From Sweden also, later, resounded my praise, and the Swedish newspapers contained articles in praise of this work, which within the last two years has been equally warmly received in England, where Mary Howitt, the poetess, has translated it into English; the same good fortune also is said to have attended the book in Holland and Russia. Everywhere abroad resounded the loudest acknowledgments of its excellence.
It was from Germany that I first heard a strong recognition of the value of my work, or maybe even its overestimation. I bow in joyful gratitude, like a sick person soaking up the sunlight when my heart feels thankful. I'm not, as the Danish Monthly Review claimed in its critique of the "Improvisatore," an ungrateful person who shows a lack of appreciation for my benefactors. I was indeed poor Antonio, who struggled under the weight of my burdens—I, the poor boy who relied on charity for my meals. Later on, Sweden also praised my work, and Swedish newspapers featured articles celebrating it, which has also been warmly received in England over the past two years, where the poetess Mary Howitt translated it into English. It’s said that the book has had similar success in Holland and Russia. Everywhere abroad, there were loud acknowledgments of its excellence.
There exists in the public a power which is stronger than all the critics and cliques. I felt that I stood at home on firmer ground, and my spirit again had moments in which it raised its wings for flight. In this alternation of feeling between gaiety and ill humor, I wrote my next novel, "O. T.," which is regarded by many persons in Denmark as my best work;—an estimation which I cannot myself award to it. It contains characteristic features of town life. My first Tales appeared before "O. T;" but this is not the place in which to speak of them. I felt just at this time a strong mental impulse to write, and I believed that I had found my true element in novel-writing. In the following year, 1837, I published "Only a Fiddler," a book which on my part had been deeply pondered over, and the details of which sprang fresh to the paper. My design was to show that talent is not genius, and that if the sunshine of good fortune be withheld, this must go to the ground, though without losing its nobler, better nature. This book likewise had its partisans; but still the critics would not vouchsafe to me any encouragement; they forgot that with years the boy becomes a man, and that people may acquire knowledge in other than the ordinary ways. They could not separate themselves from their old preconceived opinions. Whilst "O. T." was going through the press it was submitted sheet by sheet to a professor of the university, who had himself offered to undertake this work, and by two other able men also; notwithstanding all this, the Reviews said, "We find the usual grammatical negligence, which we always find in Andersen, in this work also." That which contributed likewise to place this book in the shade was the circumstance of Heiberg having at that time published his Every-day Stories, which were written in excellent language, and with good taste and truth. Their own merits, and the recommendation of their being Heiberg's, who was the beaming star of literature, placed them in the highest rank.
There is a power in the public that is stronger than any critics or cliques. I felt like I was on solid ground, and my spirit had moments where it soared. In this mix of feelings between happiness and frustration, I wrote my next novel, "O. T.," which many people in Denmark consider my best work; I can't quite agree with that assessment. It features distinctive aspects of city life. My first Tales came out before "O. T.," but this isn't the time to discuss them. At that moment, I felt a strong urge to write, and I believed I had found my true calling in novel-writing. The following year, 1837, I published "Only a Fiddler," a book that I had thought about deeply, and the details came easily to the page. My aim was to show that talent isn't the same as genius, and that if good fortune doesn't shine, talent may go unnoticed, although it doesn't lose its inherent value. This book also had its supporters, but the critics still refused to give me any encouragement; they forgot that as years go by, a boy becomes a man, and people can gain knowledge in unconventional ways. They couldn't let go of their old preconceived notions. While "O. T." was being printed, it was reviewed sheet by sheet by a university professor who had offered to take on this task, along with two other capable individuals; despite all this, the reviews declared, "We see the usual grammatical mistakes that we always find in Andersen's work, in this one too." Another factor that overshadowed this book was that Heiberg had published his Every-day Stories at the same time, which were written in excellent language, with good taste and truth. Their own qualities, combined with the fact that they were by Heiberg, who was a shining star in literature, elevated them to the highest status.
I had however advanced so far, that there no longer existed any doubt as to my poetical ability, which people had wholly denied to me before my journey to Italy. Still not a single Danish critic had spoken of the characteristics which are peculiar to my novels. It was not until my works appeared in Swedish that this was done, and then several Swedish journals went profoundly into the subject and analyzed my works with good and honorable intentions. The case was the same in Germany; and from this country too my heart was strengthened to proceed. It was not until last year that in Denmark, a man of influence, Hauch the poet, spoke of the novels in his already mentioned treatise, and with a few touches brought their characteristics prominently forward.
I had come so far that there was no longer any doubt about my talent for poetry, which people had completely denied before my trip to Italy. Still, not a single Danish critic had commented on the unique traits of my novels. It wasn't until my works were published in Swedish that this changed, and several Swedish journals delved deeply into the topic, analyzing my works with good and honorable intentions. The same was true in Germany; from there, my resolve to continue was also reinforced. It wasn't until last year that a prominent figure in Denmark, the poet Hauch, mentioned my novels in his previously noted essay, highlighting their unique features with just a few comments.
"The principal thing," says he, "in Andersen's best and most elaborate works, in those which are distinguished for the richest fancy, the deepest feeling, the most lively poetic spirit, is, of talent, or at least of a noble nature, which will struggle its way out of narrow and depressing circumstances. This is the case with his three novels, and with this purpose in view, it is really an important state of existence which he describes,—an inner world, which no one understands better than he, who has himself, drained out of the bitter cup of suffering and renunciation, painful and deep feelings which are closely related to those of his own experience, and from which Memory, who, according to the old significant myth, is the mother of the Muses, met him hand in hand with them. That which he, in these his works, relates to the world, deserves assuredly to be listened to with attention; because, at the same time that it may be only the most secret inward life of the individual, yet it is also the common lot of men of talent and genius, at least when these are in needy circumstances, as is the case of those who are here placed before our eyes. In so far as in his 'Improvisatore,' in 'O. T.,' and in 'Only a Fiddler,' he represents not only himself, in his own separate individuality, but at the same time the momentous combat which so many have to pass through, and which he understands so well, because in it his own life has developed itself; therefore in no instance can he be said to present to the reader what belongs to the world of illusion, but only that which bears witness to truth, and which, as is the case with all such testimony, has a universal and enduring worth.
"The main thing," he says, "in Andersen's best and most detailed works, those known for their richest imagination, deepest emotions, and most vibrant poetic spirit, is talent, or at least a noble character that fights to rise above narrow and gloomy circumstances. This is true of his three novels, and with this intention, he truly describes a significant state of existence—an inner world that only he understands better than anyone else, who himself has drained from the bitter cup of suffering and sacrifice, profound and deep feelings closely tied to his own experiences. From this, Memory, who, according to the old meaningful myth, is the mother of the Muses, meets him hand in hand with them. What he shares with the world in these works certainly deserves careful attention; because while it may only reflect the most secret inner life of the individual, it also represents the shared fate of talented and genius individuals, especially when they are in difficult circumstances, like those presented before us. In his 'Improvisatore,' in 'O. T.,' and in 'Only a Fiddler,' he not only portrays himself in his unique individuality but also the significant struggle that many endure, which he understands so well because it mirrors his own life's journey. Thus, he cannot be said to present the reader with mere illusions, but rather with truths that, like all genuine testimonies, have universal and lasting value."
"And still more than this, Andersen is not only the defender of talent and genius, but, at the same time, of every human heart which is unkindly and unjustly treated. And whilst he himself has so painfully suffered in that deep combat in which the Laocoon-snakes seize upon the outstretched hand; whilst he himself has been compelled to drink from that wormwood-steeped bowl which the cold-blooded and arrogant world so constantly offers to those who are in depressed circumstances, he is fully capable of giving to his delineations in this respect a truth and an earnestness, nay, even a tragic and a pain-awakening pathos that rarely fails of producing its effect on the sympathizing human heart. Who can read that scene in his 'Only a Fiddler,' in which the 'high-bred hound,' as the poet expresses it, 'turned away with disgust from the broken victuals which the poor youth received as alms, without recognizing, at the same time, that this is no game in which vanity seeks for a triumph, but that it expresses much more—human nature wounded to its inmost depths, which here speaks out its sufferings.'"
"And even more than that, Andersen is not only a champion of talent and genius, but also of every heart that is treated unkindly and unfairly. While he himself has endured the painful struggles where the Laocoon-snakes seize the outstretched hand; while he has been forced to drink from the bitter cup that the cold-blooded and arrogant world consistently offers to those in desperate situations, he can convey a truth and seriousness in his portrayals that resonates with a tragic and stirring emotion, rarely failing to move sympathetic hearts. Who can read that scene in his 'Only a Fiddler,' where the 'high-bred hound,' as the poet describes, 'turned away with disgust from the leftover food that the poor youth received as charity,' without recognizing that this is no trivial matter where vanity seeks a win, but rather expresses something much deeper—human nature wounded to its core, revealing its suffering."
Thus is it spoken in Denmark of my works, after an interval of nine or ten years; thus speaks the voice of a noble, venerated man. It is with me and the critics as it is with wine,—the more years pass before it is drunk the better is its flavor.
Thus it is said in Denmark about my works, after a gap of nine or ten years; thus speaks the voice of a respected, admired man. It's the same with me and the critics as it is with wine—the longer it sits before being consumed, the better its taste.
During the year in which "The Fiddler" came out, I visited for the first time the neighboring country of Sweden. I went by the G÷ta canal to Stockholm. At that time nobody understood what is now called Scandinavian sympathies; there still existed a sort of mistrust inherited from the old wars between the two neighbor nations. Little was known of Swedish literature, and there were only very few Danes who could easily read and understand the Swedish language;—people scarcely knew Tegn r's Frithiof and Axel, excepting through translations. I had, however, read a few other Swedish authors, and the deceased, unfortunate Stagnelius pleased me more as a poet than Tegn r, who represented poetry in Sweden. I, who hitherto had only travelled into Germany and southern countries, where by this means, the departure from Copenhagen was also the departure from my mother tongue, felt, in this respect, almost at home in Sweden: the languages are so much akin, that of two persons each might read in the language of his own country, and yet the other understand him. It seemed to me, as a Dane, that Denmark expanded itself; kinship with the people exhibited itself, in many ways, more and more; and I felt, livingly, how near akin are Swedes, Danes, and Norwegians.
During the year that "The Fiddler" was released, I visited Sweden for the first time. I traveled via the Göt canal to Stockholm. Back then, no one really understood what we now refer to as Scandinavian sympathies; there was still some lingering mistrust from the old wars between our two neighboring countries. Very little was known about Swedish literature, and only a handful of Danes could easily read and understand Swedish; people hardly knew Tegnér's Frithiof and Axel, except through translations. However, I had read a few other Swedish authors, and the late, unfortunate Stagnelius impressed me more as a poet than Tegnér, who represented poetry in Sweden. I, who had only traveled to Germany and southern countries before, felt almost at home in Sweden in this regard: the languages are so similar that two people could read in their own language and still understand each other. It seemed to me, as a Dane, that Denmark was expanding; our connection with the people became increasingly evident, and I felt vividly how closely related Swedes, Danes, and Norwegians are.
I met with cordial, kind people,—and with these I easily made acquaintance. I reckon this journey among the happiest I ever made. I had no knowledge of the character of Swedish scenery, and therefore I was in the highest degree astonished by the Trollh tta-voyage, and by the extremely picturesque situation of Stockholm. It sounds to the uninitiated half like a fairy-tale, when one says that the steam-boat goes up across the lakes over the mountains, from whence may be seen the outstretched pine and beechwoods below. Immense sluices heave up and lower the vessel again, whilst the travellers ramble through the woods. None of the cascades of Switzerland, none in Italy, not even that of Terni, have in them anything so imposing as that of Trollh tta. Such is the impression, at all events, which it made on me.
I met friendly, kind people, and I quickly got to know them. I consider this trip one of the happiest I've ever taken. I had no idea what Swedish scenery was like, so I was incredibly surprised by the journey through Trollh tta and the stunning views of Stockholm. It sounds almost like a fairy tale when you say that the steamboat travels across lakes and over mountains, where you can see the sprawling pine and beech forests below. Huge locks raise and lower the boat while the travelers explore the woods. None of the waterfalls in Switzerland, Italy, or even Terni compare to the majesty of Trollh tta. That's certainly how it struck me.
On this journey, and at this last-mentioned place, commenced a very interesting acquaintance, and one which has not been without its influence on me,—an acquaintance with the Swedish authoress, Fredrika Bremer. I had just been speaking with the captain of the steam-boat and some of the passengers about the Swedish authors living in Stockholm, and I mentioned my desire to see and converse with Miss Bremer.
On this journey, and at the last place I mentioned, I started a really interesting friendship, one that has definitely influenced me—an acquaintance with the Swedish author, Fredrika Bremer. I had just been talking with the captain of the steamboat and some of the passengers about the Swedish authors living in Stockholm, and I mentioned my wish to meet and chat with Miss Bremer.
"You will not meet with her," said the Captain, "as she is at this moment on a visit in Norway."
"You won't be able to meet her," said the Captain, "since she's currently visiting Norway."
"She will be coming back while I am there," said I in joke; "I always am lucky in my journeys, and that which I most wish for is always accomplished.
"She's going to come back while I'm there," I joked; "I always have good luck on my trips, and what I want most always happens."
"Hardly this time, however," said the captain.
"Not this time, though," said the captain.
A few hours after this he came up to me laughing, with the list of the newly arrived passengers in his hand. "Lucky fellow," said he aloud, "you take good fortune with you; Miss Bremer is here, and sails with us to Stockholm."
A few hours after this, he came up to me laughing, holding the list of the newly arrived passengers. "Lucky guy," he said aloud, "you’ve got some good luck on your side; Miss Bremer is here and is sailing with us to Stockholm."
I received it as a joke; he showed me the list, but still I was uncertain. Among the new arrivals, I could see no one who resembled an authoress. Evening came on, and about midnight we were on the great Wener lake. At sunrise I wished to have a view of this extensive lake, the shores of which could scarcely be seen; and for this purpose I left the cabin. At the very moment that I did so, another passenger was also doing the same, a lady neither young nor old, wrapped in a shawl and cloak. I thought to myself, if Miss Bremer is on board, this must be she, and fell into discourse with her; she replied politely, but still distantly, nor would she directly answer my question, whether she was the authoress of the celebrated novels. She asked after my name; was acquainted with it, but confessed that she had read none of my works. She then inquired whether I had not some of them with me, and I lent her a copy of the "Improvisatore," which I had destined for Beskow. She vanished immediately with the volumes, and was not again visible all morning.
I got it as a joke; he showed me the list, but I was still unsure. Among the new arrivals, I couldn’t see anyone who looked like a female author. Evening fell, and around midnight we were on the great Wener Lake. At sunrise, I wanted to see this vast lake, the shores of which were barely visible, so I left the cabin. At that very moment, another passenger was also stepping out, a woman who was neither young nor old, wrapped in a shawl and cloak. I thought to myself, if Miss Bremer is on board, it must be her, and I started a conversation with her; she replied politely but a bit reserved, and didn’t directly answer my question about whether she was the author of the famous novels. She asked for my name; she recognized it but admitted she hadn’t read any of my works. She then asked if I had any of them with me, and I lent her a copy of the "Improvisatore," which I had intended for Beskow. She quickly disappeared with the books and was not seen again all morning.
When I again saw her, her countenance was beaming, and she was full of cordiality; she pressed my hand, and said that she had read the greater part of the first volume, and that she now knew me.
When I saw her again, her face was glowing, and she was so friendly; she took my hand and said she had read most of the first volume and that she now knew me.
The vessel flew with us across the mountains, through quiet inland lakes and forests, till it arrived at the Baltic Sea, where islands lie scattered, as in the Archipelago, and where the most remarkable transition takes place from naked cliffs to grassy islands, and to those on which stand trees and houses. Eddies and breakers make it here necessary to take on board a skilful pilot; and there are indeed some places where every passenger must sit quietly on his seat, whilst the eye of the pilot is riveted upon one point. On shipboard one feels the mighty power of nature, which at one moment seizes hold of the vessel and the next lets it go again.
The ship took us over the mountains, through calm inland lakes and forests, until we reached the Baltic Sea, where islands are scattered like in the Archipelago. Here, you can see a striking change from bare cliffs to grassy islands, and those with trees and houses. The swirling waters and waves make it important to have an experienced pilot on board; in fact, there are spots where every passenger has to stay quietly in their seat while the pilot focuses intently on one point. On the ship, you really feel the immense power of nature, which can grip the vessel one moment and release it the next.
Miss Bremer related many legends and many histories, which were connected with this or that island, or those farm-premises up aloft on the mainland.
Miss Bremer shared many legends and stories that were linked to this or that island or those farms up on the mainland.
In Stockholm, the acquaintance with her increased, and year after year the letters which have passed between us have strengthened it. She is a noble woman; the great truths of religion, and the poetry which lies in the quiet circumstances of life, have penetrated her being.
In Stockholm, I got to know her better, and year after year, the letters we've exchanged have deepened our connection. She is a wonderful woman; the important truths of religion and the beauty found in the simple moments of life have deeply influenced her.
It was not until after my visit to Stockholm that her Swedish translation of my novel came out; my lyrical poems only, and my "Journey on Foot," were known to a few authors; these received me with the utmost kindness, and the lately deceased Dahlgr n, well known by his humorous poems, wrote a song in my honor—in short, I met with hospitality, and countenances beaming with Sunday gladness. Sweden and its inhabitants became dear to me. The city itself, by its situation and its whole picturesque appearance, seemed to me to emulate Naples. Of course, this last has the advantage of fine atmosphere, and the sunshine of the south; but the view of Stockholm is just as imposing; it has also some resemblance to Constantinople, as seen from Pera, only that the minarets are wanting. There prevails a great variety of coloring in the capital of Sweden; white painted buildings; frame-work houses, with the wood-work painted red; barracks of turf, with flowering plants; fir tree and birches look out from among the houses, and the churches with their balls and towers. The streets in S÷dermalm ascend by flights of wooden steps up from the M lar lake, which is all active with smoking steam-vessels, and with boats rowed by women in gay-colored dresses.
It wasn't until after I visited Stockholm that her Swedish translation of my novel was released; only my lyrical poems and "Journey on Foot" were recognized by a few authors. They welcomed me with incredible kindness, and the recently deceased Dahlgren, known for his humorous poems, even wrote a song in my honor. Overall, I was met with warmth and smiles filled with Sunday joy. Sweden and its people became dear to me. The city itself, with its location and picturesque look, reminded me of Naples. Of course, Naples has the benefit of a beautiful atmosphere and southern sunshine, but Stockholm's view is just as impressive. It also somewhat resembles Constantinople as seen from Pera, except that it lacks minarets. There’s a wide variety of colors in the capital of Sweden; buildings painted white, timber houses with red woodwork, turf barracks adorned with flowering plants, and fir trees and birches peeking out from among the houses, along with churches featuring domes and towers. The streets in Södermalm rise with flights of wooden steps up from Lake Mälaren, which is bustling with steaming vessels and boats rowed by women in colorful dresses.
I had brought with me a letter of introduction from Oersted, to the celebrated Berzelius, who gave me a good reception in the old city of Upsala. From this place I returned to Stockholm. City, country, and people, were all dear to me; it seemed to me, as I said before, that the boundaries of my native land had stretched themselves out, and I now first felt the kindredship of the three peoples, and in this feeling I wrote a Scandinavian song, a hymn of praise for all the three nations, for that which was peculiar and best in each one of them.
I had a letter of introduction from Oersted to the renowned Berzelius, who welcomed me warmly in the historic city of Upsala. From there, I went back to Stockholm. The city, the countryside, and the people all felt precious to me; as I mentioned before, it seemed like the borders of my homeland had expanded, and I finally felt a connection to the three peoples. Inspired by this feeling, I wrote a Scandinavian song, a tribute celebrating the unique and best qualities of each nation.
"One can see that the Swedes made a deal of him," was the first remark which I heard at home on this song.
"One can see that the Swedes thought highly of him," was the first comment I heard at home about this song.
Years pass on; the neighbors understand each other better; Oehlenschl ger. Fredrika Bremer, and Tegn r, caused them mutually to read each other's authors, and the foolish remains of the old enmity, which had no other foundation than that they did not know each other, vanished. There now prevails a beautiful, cordial relationship between Sweden and Denmark. A Scandinavian club has been established in Stockholm; and with this my song came to honor; and it was then said, "it will outlive everything that Andersen has written:" which was as unjust as when they said that it was only the product of flattered vanity. This song is now sung in Sweden as well as in Denmark. On my return home I began to study history industriously, and made myself still further acquainted with the literature of foreign countries. Yet still the volume which afforded me the greatest pleasure was that of nature; and in a summer residence among the country-seats of Funen, and more especially at Lykkesholm, with its highly romantic site in the midst of woods, and at the noble seat of Glorup, from whose possessor I met with the most friendly reception, did I acquire more true wisdom, assuredly, in my solitary rambles, than I ever could have gained from the schools.
Years go by; the neighbors start to understand each other better. Oehlenschläger, Fredrika Bremer, and Tegnér encouraged them to read each other's authors, and the silly remnants of the old rivalry, which was based only on their ignorance of one another, disappeared. Now, there is a beautiful, warm relationship between Sweden and Denmark. A Scandinavian club has been established in Stockholm; and with this, my song gained recognition; it was even said, "it will outlast everything Andersen has written," which was as unfair as when they claimed it was merely a product of inflated vanity. This song is now sung in both Sweden and Denmark. Upon returning home, I began to study history diligently and further familiarized myself with the literature of other countries. Yet still, the volume that brought me the most joy was that of nature; and during a summer stay among the countryside estates of Funen, particularly at Lykkesholm, which has a beautifully romantic location surrounded by woods, and at the esteemed estate of Glorup, where I received the warmest welcome from its owner, I gained more true wisdom in my solitary walks than I ever could have acquired from school.
The house of the Conference Councillor Collin in Copenhagen was at that time, as it has been since, a second father's house to me, and there I had parents, and brothers and sisters. The best circles of social life were open to me, and the student life interested me: here I mixed in the pleasures of youth. The student life of Copenhagen is, besides this, different from that of the German cities, and was at this time peculiar and full of life. For me this was most perceptible in the students' clubs, where students and professors were accustomed to meet each other: there was there no boundary drawn between the youthful and elder men of letters. In this club were to be found the journals and books of various countries; once a week an author would read his last work; a concert or some peculiar burlesque entertainment would take place. It was here that what may be called the first Danish people'scomedies took their origin,—comedies in which the events of the day were worked up always in an innocent, but witty and amusing manner. Sometimes dramatic representations were given in the presence of ladies for the furtherance of some noble purpose, as lately to assist Thorwaldsen's Museum, to raise funds for the execution of Bissen's statue in marble, and for similar ends. The professors and students were the actors. I also appeared several times as an actor, and convinced myself that my terror at appearing on the stage was greater than the talent which I perhaps possessed. Besides this, I wrote and arranged several pieces, and thus gave my assistance. Several scenes from this time, the scenes in the students' club, I have worked up in my romance of "O. T." The humor and love of life observable in various passages of this book, and in the little dramatic pieces written about this time, are owing to the influence of the family of Collin, where much good was done me in that respect, so that my morbid turn of mind was unable to gain the mastery of me. Collin's eldest married daughter, especially, exercised great influence over me, by her merry humor and wit. When the mind is yielding and elastic, like the expanse of ocean, it readily, like the ocean, mirrors its environments.
The house of Conference Councillor Collin in Copenhagen was, at that time, and has since remained, like a second home to me, where I found parents, brothers, and sisters. I had access to the best social circles, and I was engaged with student life: it was here that I enjoyed the pleasures of youth. The student life in Copenhagen is, in addition to this, different from that in German cities and was particularly vibrant and unique at this time. This was especially noticeable in the students' clubs, where students and professors regularly interacted: there was no clear divide between the younger and older literary figures. This club featured journals and books from various countries; once a week, an author would present their latest work, and there would be concerts or some unusual comedic entertainment. It was here that the first Danish folk comedies originated—comedies that cleverly and humorously addressed current events in an innocent way. Sometimes, there were dramatic performances in the presence of ladies to support charitable causes, such as raising funds for Thorwaldsen's Museum or for the marble statue by Bissen, among other initiatives. Professors and students took on the roles of the actors. I also performed several times, realizing that my fear of being on stage was greater than any talent I might have had. Additionally, I wrote and arranged a few pieces, contributing in that way. Several scenes from this period, particularly those in the students' club, are reflected in my novel "O. T." The humor and appreciation for life found in various passages of that book, as well as in the small dramatic pieces I wrote around that time, are due to the influence of the Collin family, who helped me in that regard, preventing my more morbid inclinations from taking over. Collin's oldest married daughter, in particular, had a significant effect on me with her lively humor and wit. When the mind is flexible and adaptable, like the ocean’s surface, it easily reflects its surroundings, just like the ocean does.
My writings, in my own country, were now classed among those which were always bought and read; therefore for each fresh work I received a higher payment. Yet, truly, when you consider what a circumscribed world the Danish reading world is, you will see that this payment could not be the most liberal. Yet I had to live. Collin, who is one of the men who do more than they promise, was my help, my consolation, my support.
My writing in my own country was now considered popular, so I received a higher payment for each new work. However, when you think about how small the Danish reading audience is, you'll realize that this payment wasn't very generous. Still, I needed to make a living. Collin, who is someone who delivers more than he promises, was my help, my comfort, and my support.
At this time the late Count Conrad von Rantzau-Breitenburg, a native of Holstein, was Prime Minister in Denmark. He was of a noble, amiable nature, a highly educated man, and possessed of a truly chivalrous disposition. He carefully observed the movements in German and Danish literature. In his youth he had travelled much, and spent a long time in Spain and Italy, He read my "Improvisatore" in the original; his imagination was powerfully seized by it, and he spoke both at court and in his own private circles of my book in the warmest manner. He did not stop here; he sought me out, and became my benefactor and friend. One forenoon, whilst I was sitting solitarily in my little chamber, this friendly man stood before me for the first time. He belonged to that class of men who immediately inspire you with confidence; he besought me to visit him, and frankly asked me whether there were no means by which he could be of use to me. I hinted how oppressive it was to be forced to write in order to live, always to be forced to think of the morrow, and not move free from care, to be able to develop your mind and thoughts. He pressed my hand in a friendly manner, and promised to be an efficient friend. Collin and Oersted secretly associated themselves with him, and became my intercessors.
At this time, the late Count Conrad von Rantzau-Breitenburg, who was from Holstein, served as Prime Minister in Denmark. He was a noble and friendly person, well-educated, and had a truly chivalrous nature. He took a keen interest in the movements of German and Danish literature. In his youth, he had traveled extensively and spent a considerable amount of time in Spain and Italy. He read my "Improvisatore" in the original and was deeply impressed by it; he spoke highly of my book both at court and in his private circles. He went beyond just praising it; he sought me out and became my benefactor and friend. One morning, while I was quietly sitting alone in my small room, this kind man stood in front of me for the first time. He was the type of person who instantly inspires confidence; he invited me to visit him and openly asked if there was any way he could help me. I mentioned how burdensome it was to be forced to write to make a living, constantly worrying about the future and unable to freely develop my mind and ideas. He shook my hand warmly and promised to be a supportive friend. Collin and Oersted secretly teamed up with him and became my advocates.
Already for many years there had existed, under Frederick VI., an institution which does the highest honor to the Danish government, namely, that beside the considerable sum expended yearly, for the travelling expenses of young literary men and artists, a small pension shall be awarded to such of them as enjoy no office emoluments. All our most important poets have had a share of this assistance,—Oehlenschl ger, Ingemann, Heiberg, C. Winther, and others. Hertz had just then received such a pension, and his future life made thus the more secure. It was my hope and my wish that the same good fortune might be mine—and it was. Frederick VI. granted me two hundred rix dollars banco yearly. I was filled with gratitude and joy. I was nolonger forced to write in order to live; I had a sure support in the possible event of sickness. I was less dependent upon the people about me. A new chapter of my life began.
For many years, under Frederick VI, there had been an institution that truly honored the Danish government. This institution not only funded the travel expenses of young writers and artists each year but also provided a small pension to those who had no other income from their work. Many of our most significant poets benefited from this support, including Oehlenschläger, Ingemann, Heiberg, C. Winther, and others. Hertz had just received such a pension, making his future more secure. I hoped and wished that I could have the same good fortune—and I did. Frederick VI granted me two hundred rix dollars banco each year. I was filled with gratitude and joy. I was no longer forced to write to make a living; I had a reliable support in case of illness. I was less dependent on those around me. A new chapter of my life began.
CHAPTER VI.
From this day forward, it was as if a more constant sunshine had entered my heart. I felt within myself more repose, more certainty; it was clear to me, as I glanced back over my earlier life, that a loving Providence watched over me, that all was directed for me by a higher Power; and the firmer becomes such a conviction, the more secure does a man feel himself. My childhood lay behind me, my youthful life began properly from this period; hitherto it had been only an arduous swimming against the stream. The spring of my life commenced; but still the spring had its dark days, its storms, before it advanced to settled summer; it has these in order to develop what shall then ripen. That which one of my dearest friends wrote to me on one of my later travels abroad, may serve as an introduction to what I have here to relate. He wrote in his own peculiar style:—"It is your vivid imagination which creates the idea of your being despised in Denmark; it is utterly untrue. You and Denmark agree admirably, and you would agree still better, if there were in Denmark no theatre—Hinc illae lacrymae! This cursed theatre. Is this, then, Denmark? and are you, then, nothing but a writer for the theatre?"
From this day on, it felt like a more constant sunshine had entered my heart. I felt more at peace and more certain; as I looked back on my earlier life, it was clear to me that a loving higher power was watching over me, guiding everything for my benefit. The stronger this belief became, the more secure I felt. My childhood was behind me, and my true youth began at this point; until then, it had been nothing but a tough struggle against the current. The spring of my life had started; however, this spring had its dark days and storms before it moved into a settled summer; these challenges are necessary to develop what will eventually ripen. What one of my closest friends wrote to me during one of my later travels abroad serves as a good introduction to what I'm about to share. He wrote in his unique style: “It's your vivid imagination that creates the idea that you're despised in Denmark; it's completely untrue. You and Denmark get along wonderfully, and you would get along even better if there were no theater in Denmark—Hinc illae lacrymae! This cursed theater. Is this really Denmark? And are you just a writer for the theater?”
Herein lies a solid truth. The theatre has been the cave out of which most of the evil storms have burst upon me. They are peculiar people, these people of the theatre,—as different, in fact, from others, as Bedouins from Germans; from the first pantomimist to the first lover, everyone places himself systematically in one scale, and puts all the world in the other. The Danish theatre is a good theatre, it may indeed be placed on a level with the Burg theatre in Vienna; but the theatre in Copenhagen plays too great a part in conversation, and possesses in most circles too much importance. I am not sufficiently acquainted with the stage and the actors in other great cities, and therefore cannot compare them with our theatre; but ours has too little military discipline, and this is absolutely necessary where many people have to form a whole, even when that whole is an artistical one. The most distinguished dramatic poets in Denmark—that is to say, in Copenhagen, for there only is a theatre—have their troubles. Those actors and actresses who, through talent or the popular favor, take the first rank, very often place themselves above both the managers and authors. These must pay court to them, or they may ruin a part, or what is still worse, may spread abroad an unfavorable opinion of the piece previous to its being acted; and thus you have a coffee-house criticism before any one ought properly to know anything of the work. It is moreover characteristic of the people of Copenhagen, that when a new piece is announced, they do not say, "I am glad of it," but, "It will probably be good for nothing; it will be hissed off the stage." That hissing-off plays a great part, and is an amusement which fills the house; but it is not the bad actor who is hissed, no, the author and the composer only are the criminals; for them the scaffold is erected. Five minutes is the usual time, and the whistles resound, and the lovely women smile and felicitate themselves, like the Spanish ladies at their bloody bullfights. All our most eminent dramatic writers have been whistled down,—as Oehlenschl ger, Heiberg, Oversko, and others; to say nothing of foreign classics, as Moli re. In the mean time the theatre is the most profitable sphere of labor for the Danish writer, whose public does not extend far beyond the frontiers. This had induced me to write the opera-text already spoken of, on account of which I was so severely criticised; and an internal impulse drove me afterwards to add some other works. Collin was no longer manager of the theatre, Councillor of Justice Molbeck had taken his place; and the tyranny which now commenced degenerated into the comic. I fancy that in course of time the manuscript volumes of the censorship, which are preserved in the theatre, and in which Molbeck has certainly recorded his judgments on received and rejected pieces, will present some remarkable characteristics. Over all that I wrote the staff was broken! One way was open to me by which to bring my pieces on the stage; and that was to give them to those actors who in summer gave representations at their own cost. In the summer of 1839 I wrote the vaudeville of "The Invisible One on Sprog÷," to scenery which had been painted for another piece which fell through; and the unrestrained merriment of the piece gave it such favor with the public, that I obtained its acceptance by the manager; and that light sketch still maintains itself on the boards, and has survived such a number of representations as I had never anticipated.
Here lies a solid truth. The theater has been the source of most of the storms that have hit me. The people of the theater are quite unique—so different from others, like Bedouins and Germans. From the first pantomime to the first romance, everyone ranks themselves and puts the rest of the world on the other side. The Danish theater is a good one; it can indeed stand up to the Burg theater in Vienna. However, the theater in Copenhagen plays too significant a role in conversation and holds too much importance in many circles. I'm not familiar enough with the stages and the actors in other major cities to compare them with ours, but ours lacks enough military discipline, which is essential when many people have to come together, even for something artistic. The most notable dramatic poets in Denmark—that is to say, in Copenhagen since there's only one theater—have their struggles. Actors and actresses who, through their talent or popularity, rank highest often put themselves above both the managers and the playwrights. The latter must curry favor with them, or they risk ruining a role or, worse yet, spreading a negative opinion about a piece before it even premieres; this leads to a sort of coffeehouse critique before anyone really knows about the work. Additionally, it's typical of people in Copenhagen that when a new piece is announced, they don't say, "I'm looking forward to it," but rather, "It'll probably be terrible; it'll get booed off the stage." Booing plays a big role and is a spectacle that fills the house, but it's not the bad actor who gets booed; no, it's the author and composer who are seen as the offenders. They face the music. Five minutes is the usual timeframe, and the whistles blow, while the lovely women smile, congratulating themselves like Spanish ladies at brutal bullfights. All our greatest dramatic writers have faced this kind of treatment—like Oehlenschläger, Heiberg, Oversko, and others—not to mention foreign classics like Molière. In the meantime, theater remains the most lucrative area for Danish writers, whose audience barely extends beyond the borders. This motivated me to write the opera libretto already mentioned, for which I faced harsh criticism; and an internal drive led me later to add more works. Collin was no longer the theater’s manager; Councillor of Justice Molbeck had taken over, and the ensuing tyranny turned comedic. I suspect that over time, the manuscript volumes of the censorship kept in the theater, where Molbeck surely recorded his judgments on accepted and rejected works, will display some interesting traits. Everything I wrote was met with resistance! I found a way to get my pieces on stage by giving them to the actors who performed at their own expense during the summer. In the summer of 1839, I wrote the vaudeville "The Invisible One on Sprogø," using sets created for another piece that didn't happen; the unrestricted humor of this piece was so well-received by the public that I eventually got it accepted by the manager, and that lighthearted work continues to run and has outlasted many performances beyond what I ever expected.
This approbation, however, procured me no further advantage, for each of my succeeding dramatic works received only rejection, and occasioned me only mortification. Nevertheless, seized by the idea and the circumstances of the little French narrative, "Les paves," I determined to dramatise it; and as I had often heard that I did not possess the assiduity sufficient to work my mat riel well, I resolved to labor this drama—"The Mulatto"—from the beginning to the end, in the most diligent manner, and to compose it in alternately rhyming verse, as was then the fashion. It was a foreign subject of which I availed myself; but if verses are music, I at least endeavored to adapt my music to the text, and to let the poetry of another diffuse itself through my spiritual blood; so that people should not be heard to say, as they had done before, regarding the romance of Walter Scott, that the composition was cut down and fitted to the stage.
This approval, however, didn’t bring me any real advantage, as each of my subsequent plays faced rejection and caused me only embarrassment. Still, inspired by the idea and the circumstances of the little French story, "Les paves," I decided to adapt it into a play. Having often been told that I lacked the perseverance to refine my material, I resolved to work diligently on this drama—"The Mulatto"—from start to finish, and to write it in alternating rhyming verse, which was the trend at the time. It was a foreign subject that I took inspiration from, but if poetry is like music, I made an effort to align my music with the text and to let the poetry of someone else flow through my spirit, so that people wouldn’t say, as they had before about Walter Scott's novel, that the work had been shortened and adapted for the stage.
The piece was ready, and declared by able men, old friends, and actors who were to appear in it, to be excellent; a rich dramatic capacity lay in the mat riel, and my lyrical composition clothed this with so fresh a green, that people appeared satisfied. The piece was sent in, and was rejected by Molbeck. It was sufficiently known that what he cherished for the boards, withered there the first evening; but what he cast away as weeds were flowers for the garden—a real consolation for me. The assistant-manager, Privy Counsellor of State, Adler, a man of taste and liberality, became the patron of my work; and since a very favorable opinion of it already prevailed with the public, after I had read it to many persons, it was resolved on for representation. I had the honor to read it before my present King and Queen, who received me in a very kind and friendly manner, and from whom, since that time, I have experienced many proofs of favor and cordiality. The day of representation arrived; the bills were posted; I had not closed my eyes through the whole night from excitement and expectation; the people already stood in throngs before the theatre, to procure tickets, when royal messengers galloped through the streets, solemn groups collected, the minute guns pealed,—Frederick VI. had died this morning!
The play was ready, and prominent people—old friends and actors set to perform—declared it to be excellent. A rich dramatic potential lay in the material, and my lyrical writing dressed it up so vibrantly that people seemed pleased. The piece was submitted but rejected by Molbeck. It was well-known that whatever he preferred for the stage typically flopped on opening night; however, what he dismissed as trash were actually gems for the audience—a real comfort for me. The assistant manager, Privy Counsellor of State, Adler, a man of taste and generosity, became my work's patron; and since a very positive buzz had already spread among the public after I shared it with several people, it was decided to stage it. I had the honor of reading it for my current King and Queen, who welcomed me warmly and friendly, and since then, I have received many signs of their support and kindness. The day of the performance arrived; the posters were up; I hadn’t slept a wink all night from excitement and anticipation; crowds were already gathering outside the theater to buy tickets when royal messengers rode through the streets, solemn groups formed, and the minute guns fired—Frederick VI had died this morning!
For two months more was the theatre closed, and was opened under Christian VIII., with my drama—"The Mulatto;" which was received with the most triumphant acclamation; but I could not at once feel the joy of it, I felt only relieved from a state of excitement, and breathed more freely.
For two more months, the theater was closed, and it reopened under Christian VIII. with my play—"The Mulatto;" which was met with overwhelming applause; however, I couldn't immediately feel the joy of it; I only felt relief from a state of anxiety and was able to breathe more easily.
This piece continued through a series of representations to receive the same approbation; many placed this work far above all my former ones, and considered that with it began my proper poetical career. It was soon translated into the Swedish, and acted with applause at the royal theatre in Stockholm. Travelling players introduced it into the smaller towns in the neighboring country; a Danish company gave it in the original language, in the Swedish city Malm÷, and a troop of students from the university town of Lund, welcomed it with enthusiasm. I had been for a week previous on a visit at some Swedish country houses, where I was entertained with so much cordial kindness that the recollection of it will never quit my bosom; and there, in a foreign country, I received the first public testimony of honor, and which has left upon me the deepest and most inextinguishable impression. I was invited by some students of Lund to visit their ancient town. Here a public dinner was given to me; speeches were made, toasts were pronounced; and as I was in the evening in a family circle, I was informed that the students meant to honor me with a serenade.
This work went through various performances and received widespread praise; many people rated it higher than all my previous works and believed it marked the start of my true poetry career. It was quickly translated into Swedish and performed to great acclaim at the royal theater in Stockholm. Traveling actors brought it to smaller towns in the neighboring country; a Danish group performed it in the original language in the Swedish city of Malmö, and a group of students from the university town of Lund welcomed it enthusiastically. I had spent the previous week visiting some Swedish country houses, where I was treated with such warm kindness that I will always cherish those memories; and there, in a foreign country, I received my first public recognition, which left a profound and lasting impression on me. Some students from Lund invited me to visit their historic town. They organized a public dinner for me, gave speeches, and raised toasts; and later that evening, while in a family gathering, I was informed that the students planned to honor me with a serenade.
I felt myself actually overcome by this intelligence; my heart throbbed feverishly as I descried the thronging troop, with their blue caps, and arm-in-arm approaching the house. I experienced a feeling of humiliation; a most lively consciousness of my deficiencies, so that I seemed bowed to the very earth at the moment others were elevating me. As they all uncovered their heads while I stepped forth, I had need of all my thoughts to avoid bursting into tears. In the feeling that I was unworthy of all this, I glanced round to see whether a smile did not pass over the face of some one, but I could discern nothing of the kind; and such a discovery would, at that moment, have inflicted on me the deepest wound.
I was completely overwhelmed by this news; my heart raced as I saw the crowd, with their blue hats, coming towards the house, arm in arm. I felt humiliated, acutely aware of my shortcomings, as if I was literally being pushed down to the ground while others were lifting me up. When they all took off their hats as I stepped forward, I had to focus all my thoughts to keep from breaking down in tears. Feeling unworthy of all this, I looked around to see if anyone was smiling, but I couldn't see anything like that; finding even a hint of a smile would have hurt me deeply at that moment.
After an hurrah, a speech was delivered, of which I clearly recollect the following words:—"When your native land, and the natives of Europe offer you their homage, then may you never forget that the first public honors were conferred on you by the students of Lund."
After the cheer, a speech was given, of which I clearly remember the following words:—"When your homeland and the people of Europe show you their respect, may you always remember that the first public honors were given to you by the students of Lund."
When the heart is warm, the strength of the expression is not weighed. I felt it deeply, and replied, that from this moment I became aware that I must assert a name in order to render myself worthy of these tokens of honor. I pressed the hands of those nearest to me, and returned them thanks so deep, so heartfelt,—certainly never was an expression of thanks more sincere. When I returned to my chamber, I went aside, in order to weep out this excitement, this overwhelming sensation. "Think no more of it, be joyous with us," said some of my lively Swedish friends; but a deep earnestness had entered my soul. Often has the memory of this time come back to me; and no noble-minded man, who reads these pages will discover a vanity in the fact, that I have lingered so long over this moment of life, which scorched the roots of pride rather than nourished them.
When the heart is full, the power of the feelings isn't measured. I felt it deeply and realized that from that moment on, I needed to establish my name to deserve these marks of honor. I took the hands of those closest to me and thanked them with such depth and sincerity—truly, there has never been a more genuine expression of gratitude. When I returned to my room, I stepped aside to weep out this excitement, this overwhelming feeling. "Don’t think about it anymore, just be happy with us," said some of my lively Swedish friends; but a deep seriousness had settled in my soul. The memory of that time often comes back to me; and no noble-minded person reading these words will find it vain that I've spent so much time reflecting on that moment in life, which burned away the roots of pride rather than feeding them.
My drama was now to be brought on the stage at Malm÷; the students wished to see it; but I hastened my departure, that I might not be in the theatre at the time. With gratitude and joy fly my thoughts towards the Swedish University city, but I myself have not been there again since. In the Swedish newspapers the honors paid me were mentioned, and it was added that the Swedes were not unaware that in my own country there was a clique which persecuted me; but that this should not hinder my neighbors from offering me the honors which they deemed my due.
My play was about to be performed in Malmö; the students wanted to see it, but I rushed to leave so I wouldn't be at the theater during the show. With gratitude and joy, my thoughts go to the Swedish university city, but I haven't been there again since. Swedish newspapers mentioned the honors given to me, and it noted that the Swedes were aware of a group in my own country that was targeting me; however, that shouldn't stop my neighbors from giving me the honors they thought I deserved.
It was when I had returned to Copenhagen that I first truly felt how cordially I had been received by the Swedes; amongst some of my old and tried friends I found the most genuine sympathy. I saw tears in their eyes, tears of joy for the honors paid me; and especially, said they, for the manner in which I had received them. There is but one manner for me; at once, in the midst of joy, I fly with thanks to God.
It was when I got back to Copenhagen that I first really felt how warmly I had been welcomed by the Swedes; among some of my old and trusted friends, I found the most genuine support. I saw tears in their eyes, tears of joy for the honors given to me; and especially, they said, for the way I had received them. There’s only one way for me; in the midst of joy, I immediately turn to God with my thanks.
There were certain persons who smiled at the enthusiasm; certain voices raised themselves already against "The Mulatto;"—"the mat riel was merely borrowed;" the French narrative was scrupulously studied. That exaggerated praise which I had received, now made me sensitive to the blame; I could bear it less easily than before, and saw more clearly, that it did not spring out of an interest in the matter, but was only uttered in order to mortify me. For the rest, my mind was fresh and elastic; I conceived precisely at this time the idea of "The Picture-Book without Pictures," and worked it out. This little book appears, to judge by the reviews and the number of editions, to have obtained an extraordinary popularity in Germany; it was also translated into Swedish, and dedicated to myself; at home, it was here less esteemed; people talked only of The Mulatto; and finally, only of the borrowed mat riel of it. I determined, therefore to produce a new dramatic work, in which both subject and development, in fact, everything should be of my own conception. I had the idea, and now wrote the tragedy of The Moorish Maiden, hoping through this to stop the mouths of all my detractors, and to assert my place as a dramatic poet. I hoped, too, through the income from this, together with the proceeds of The Mulatto, to be able to make a fresh journey, not only to Italy, but to Greece and Turkey. My first going abroad had more than all besides operated towards my intellectual development; I was therefore full of the passion for travel, and of the endeavor to acquire more knowledge of nature and of human life.
There were some people who smiled at the enthusiasm; certain voices were already speaking out against "The Mulatto." They claimed that "the material was simply borrowed," and that the French narrative was carefully studied. The exaggerated praise I had received made me more sensitive to the criticism; I found it harder to handle than before and realized more clearly that it didn't come from a genuine interest in the work but was meant to embarrass me. Nevertheless, my mind was fresh and flexible; it was around this time that I came up with the idea for "The Picture-Book without Pictures" and developed it. This little book seems to have gained extraordinary popularity in Germany, judging by the reviews and the number of editions, and it was also translated into Swedish and dedicated to me. At home, however, it was not as appreciated; people only talked about The Mulatto and eventually only about its borrowed material. Therefore, I decided to create a new dramatic work in which the subject, development, and everything else would be entirely my own invention. I had the idea, so I wrote the tragedy of The Moorish Maiden, hoping to silence all my critics and establish my place as a dramatic poet. I also hoped that the income from this, along with the proceeds from The Mulatto, would allow me to travel again—not just to Italy, but also to Greece and Turkey. My first trip abroad had greatly contributed to my intellectual growth; I was therefore filled with the passion for travel and the desire to gain more knowledge about nature and human life.
My new piece did not please Heiberg, nor indeed my dramatic endeavors at all; his wife—for whom the chief part appeared to me especially to be written—refused, and that not in the most friendly manner, to play it. Deeply wounded, I went forth. I lamented this to some individuals. Whether this was repeated, or whether a complaint against the favorite of the public is a crime, enough: from this hour Heiberg became my opponent,—he whose intellectual rank I so highly estimated,—he with whom I would so willingly have allied myself,—and he who so often—I will venture to say it—I had approached with the whole sincerity of my nature. I have constantly declared his wife to be so distinguished an actress, and continue still so entirely of this opinion, that I would not hesitate one moment to assert that she would have a European reputation, were the Danish language as widely diffused as the German or the French. In tragedy she is, by the spirit and the geniality with which she comprehends and fills any part, a most interesting object; and in comedy she stands unrivalled.
My new piece didn't please Heiberg, nor did any of my dramatic efforts; his wife—who I thought was especially meant for the lead role—refused, and not in the friendliest way, to perform it. Deeply hurt, I went out and shared my feelings with a few people. Whether this got back to him, or if complaining about a public favorite is considered a crime, it was enough: from that moment, Heiberg became my opponent—him, whose intellect I held in such high regard—him, with whom I would have gladly partnered—him, with whom I often approached with complete sincerity. I have always said that his wife is an exceptional actress, and I still firmly believe that she would have a European reputation if the Danish language were as widely spoken as German or French. In tragedy, her spirit and talent make her a fascinating performer, and in comedy, she is unmatched.
The wrong may be on my side or not,—no matter: a party was opposed to me. I felt myself wounded, excited by many coincident annoyances there. I felt uncomfortable in my native country, yes, almost ill. I therefore left my piece to its fate, and, suffering and disconcerted, I hastened forth. In this mood I wrote a prologue to The Moorish Maiden; which betrayed my irritated mind far too palpably. If I would represent this portion of my life more clearly and reflectively it would require me to penetrate into the mysteries of the theatre, to analyze our aesthetic cliques, and to drag into conspicuous notice many individuals, who do not belong to publicity. Many persons in my place would, like me, have fallen ill, or would have resented it vehemently: perhaps the latter would have been the most sensible.
The wrong could be on my end, or not—either way, there was a group that was against me. I felt hurt, stirred up by several annoying things happening at once. I felt out of place in my own country, almost sick. So, I left my work to fend for itself, and feeling troubled and unsettled, I hurried away. In this state, I wrote a prologue for The Moorish Maiden, which clearly showed my frustrated mindset. If I wanted to describe this part of my life more clearly and thoughtfully, I would need to dive into the complexities of the theater, analyze our artistic circles, and expose many individuals who prefer to stay out of the spotlight. Many people in my situation might have gotten ill, or reacted strongly—I guess the latter would have been the more rational response.
At my departure, many of my young friends amongst the students prepared a banquet for me; and amongst the elder ones who were present to receive me were Collin, Oehlenschl ger and Oersted. This was somewhat of sunshine in the midst of my mortification; songs by Oehlenschl ger and Hillerup were sung; and I found cordiality and friendship, as I quitted my country in distress. This was in October of 1840.
At my departure, many of my young friends among the students organized a farewell banquet for me, and among the older ones who welcomed me were Collin, Oehlenschläger, and Oersted. This brought a bit of sunshine amid my embarrassment; songs by Oehlenschläger and Hillerup were sung, and I felt warmth and friendship as I left my country in distress. This was in October of 1840.
For the second time I went to Italy and Rome, to Greece and Constantinople—a journey which I have described after my own manner in A Poet's Bazaar.
For the second time, I traveled to Italy and Rome, to Greece and Constantinople—a journey I've described in my own way in A Poet's Bazaar.
In Holstein I continued some days with Count Rantzau-Breitenburg, who had before invited me, and whose ancestral castle I now for the first time visited. Here I became acquainted with the rich scenery of Holstein, heath and moorland, and then hastened by Nuremberg to Munich, where I again met with Cornelius and Schelling, and was kindly received by Kaulbach and Schelling. I cast a passing glance on the artistic life in Munich, but for the most part pursued my own solitary course, sometimes filled with the joy of life, but oftener despairing of my powers. I possessed a peculiar talent, that of lingering on the gloomy side of life, of extracting the bitter from it, of tasting it; and understood well, when the whole was exhausted, how to torment myself.
In Holstein, I spent several days with Count Rantzau-Breitenburg, who had previously invited me, and I visited his ancestral castle for the first time. There, I experienced the beautiful scenery of Holstein, including heath and moorland, before quickly heading to Munich via Nuremberg. In Munich, I reconnected with Cornelius and Schelling, and was warmly welcomed by Kaulbach and Schelling. I glanced at the artistic scene in Munich, but mostly followed my own solitary path, sometimes filled with joy, but more often feeling despair about my abilities. I had a unique talent for focusing on the darker sides of life, for extracting and tasting the bitterness from it; and I knew well how to torment myself once everything else had been explored.
In the winter season I crossed the Brenner, remained some days in Florence, which I had before visited for a longer time, and about Christmas reached Rome. Here again I saw the noble treasures of art, met old friends, and once more passed a Carnival and Moccoli. But not alone was I bodily ill; nature around me appeared likewise to sicken; there was neither the tranquillity nor the freshness which attended my first sojourn in Rome. The rocks quaked, the Tiber twice rose into the streets, fever raged, and snatched numbers away. In a few days Prince Borghese lost his wife and three sons. Rain and wind prevailed; in short, it was dismal, and from home cold lotions only were sent me. My letters told me that The Moorish Maiden had several times been acted through, and had gone quietly off the stage; but, as was seen beforehand, a small public only had been present, and therefore the manager had laid the piece aside. Other Copenhagen letters to our countrymen in Rome spoke with enthusiasm of a new work by Heiberg; a satirical poem—A Soul after Death. It was but just out, they wrote; all Copenhagen was full of it, and Andersen was famously handled in it. The book was admirable, and I was made ridiculous in it. That was the whole which I heard,—all that I knew. No one told me what really was said of me; wherein lay the amusement and the ludicrous. It is doubly painful to be ridiculed when we don't know wherefore we are so. The information operated like molten lead dropped into a wound, and agonized me cruelly. It was not till after my return to Denmark that I read this book, and found that what was said of me in it, was really nothing in itself which was worth laying to heart. It was a jest over my celebrity "from Schonen to Hundsr ck", which did not please Heiberg; he therefore sent my Mulatto and The Moorish Maiden to the infernal regions, where—and that was the most witty conceit—the condemned were doomed to witness the performance of both pieces in one evening; and then they could go away and lay themselves down quietly. I found the poetry, for the rest, so excellent, that I was half induced to write to Heiberg, and to return him my thanks for it; but I slept upon this fancy, and when I awoke and was more composed, I feared lest such thanks should be misunderstood; and so I gave it up.
In winter, I crossed the Brenner Pass and spent a few days in Florence, a place I'd visited for a longer time before. Around Christmas, I arrived in Rome. Here, I once again saw the amazing treasures of art, met up with old friends, and enjoyed another Carnival and Moccoli. However, I wasn't just feeling unwell; the world around me seemed to be suffering too. There was neither the peace nor the freshness that had accompanied my first stay in Rome. The earth trembled, the Tiber flooded the streets twice, fevers spread, taking many lives. In just a few days, Prince Borghese lost his wife and three sons. Rain and wind dominated; in short, it was bleak, and only cold treatments were sent from home. My letters informed me that The Moorish Maiden had been performed multiple times and had quietly left the stage; as expected, the audience had been small, and the manager had decided to put the play aside. Other letters from Copenhagen to our compatriots in Rome excitedly spoke of a new work by Heiberg, a satirical poem titled A Soul after Death. They wrote that it had just come out; all of Copenhagen was buzzing about it, and Andersen was notably mentioned in it. The book was excellent, but I was made a fool of in it. That was all I heard—everything I knew. No one told me what was actually said about me, what the amusement and absurdity were based on. It's doubly painful to be mocked when you don't know why. The information hit me like molten lead on a wound, causing me great distress. It wasn't until I returned to Denmark that I read the book and discovered that what was said about me really wasn’t worth taking to heart. It was a joke about my fame "from Schonen to Hundsrück," which Heiberg didn't appreciate; he decided to send my Mulatto and The Moorish Maiden to the underworld, where—and this was the most clever idea—the damned would witness both performances in one evening; then they could leave and lie down peacefully. Overall, I found the poetry so excellent that I was half tempted to write to Heiberg and thank him for it; but I slept on that thought, and when I woke up feeling steadier, I worried that such thanks might be misunderstood, so I let it go.
In Rome, as I have said, I did not see the book; I only heard the arrows whizz and felt their wound, but I did not know what the poison was which lay concealed in them. It seemed to me that Rome was no joy-bringing city; when I was there before, I had also passed dark and bitter days. I was ill, for the first time in my life, truly and bodily ill, and I made haste to get away.
In Rome, as I mentioned, I didn’t see the book; I only heard the arrows fly by and felt their sting, but I didn’t know what the poison hidden in them was. It felt to me like Rome wasn’t a city that brought joy; when I was there before, I also went through dark and painful days. I was ill, for the first time in my life, really and physically ill, and I was eager to leave.
The Danish poet Holst was then in Rome; he had received this year a travelling pension. Hoist had written an elegy on King Frederick VI., which went from mouth to mouth, and awoke an enthusiasm, like that of Becker's contemporaneous Rhine song in Germany. He lived in the same house with me in Rome, and showed me much sympathy: with him I made the journey to Naples, where, notwithstanding it was March, the sun would not properly shine, and the snow lay on the hills around. There was fever in my blood; I suffered in body and in mind; and I soon lay so severely affected by it, that certainly nothing but a speedy blood-letting, to which my excellent Neapolitan landlord compelled me, saved my life.
The Danish poet Holst was in Rome at that time; he had received a travel grant that year. Holst had written an elegy for King Frederick VI., which circulated widely and sparked enthusiasm similar to Becker's contemporary Rhine song in Germany. He lived in the same building as me in Rome and showed me a lot of support. Together, we traveled to Naples, where, even though it was March, the sun wasn’t shining properly, and snow lay on the surrounding hills. I had a fever; I was suffering both physically and mentally; and I soon fell so ill that only a quick bloodletting, which my fantastic Neapolitan landlord insisted on, saved my life.
In a few days I grew sensibly better; and I now proceeded by a French war steamer to Greece. Holst accompanied me on board. It was now as if a new life had risen for me; and in truth this was the case; and if this does not appear legibly in my later writings, yet it manifested itself in my views of life, and in my whole inner development. As I saw my European home lie far behind me, it seemed to me as if a stream of forgetfulness flowed of all bitter and rankling remembrances: I felt health in my blood, health in my thoughts, and freshly and courageously I again raised my head.
In a few days, I noticeably felt better, and I took a French war steamer to Greece. Holst accompanied me on board. It felt like a new life had begun for me, and in reality, it was; even if this isn't clearly reflected in my later writings, it showed in my outlook on life and my overall personal growth. As I watched my European home fade into the distance, it felt like a wave of forgetfulness washed away all my painful memories. I felt healthy in my body, healthy in my mind, and I lifted my head once more with renewed strength and courage.
Like another Switzerland, with a loftier and clearer heaven than the Italian, Greece lay before me; nature made a deep and solemn impression upon me; I felt the sentiment of standing on the great battle field of the world, where nation had striven with nation, and had perished. No single poem can embrace such greatness; every scorched-up bed of a stream, every height, every stone, has mighty memoirs to relate. How little appear the inequalities of daily life in such a place! A kingdom of ideas streamed through me, and with such a fulness, that none of them fixed themselves on paper. I had a desire to express the idea, that the godlike was here on earth to maintain its contest, that it is thrust backward, and yet advances again victoriously through all ages; and I found in the legend of the Wandering Jew an occasion for it. For twelve months this fiction had been emerging from the sea of my thoughts; often did it wholly fill me; sometimes I fancied with the alchemists that I had dug up the treasure; then again it sank suddenly, and I despaired of ever being able to bring it to the light. I felt what a mass of knowledge of various kinds I must first acquire. Often at home, when I was compelled to hear reproofs on what they call a want of study, I had sat deep into the night, and had studied history in Hegel's Philosophy of History. I said nothing of this, or other studies, or they would immediately have been spoken of, in the manner of an instructive lady, who said, that people justly complained that I did not possess learning enough. "You have really no mythology" said she; "in all your poems there appears no single God. You must pursue mythology; you must read Racine and Corneille." That she called learning; and in like manner every one had something peculiar to recommend. For my poem of Ahasuerus I had read much and noted much, but yet not enough; in Greece, I thought, the whole will collect itself into clearness. The poem is not yet ready, but I hope that it will become so to my honor; for it happens with the children of the spirit, as with the earthly ones,—they grow as they sleep.
Like another Switzerland, with a higher and clearer sky than Italy, Greece lay before me; nature made a deep and serious impression on me. I felt the weight of standing on the great battlefield of the world, where nations had fought against each other and had perished. No single poem can capture such greatness; every dried-up riverbed, every mountain, every stone has powerful stories to tell. The struggles of everyday life seem insignificant in a place like this! A flood of ideas rushed through me, so abundantly that none of them could settle on paper. I wanted to express the idea that the divine was here on earth to continue its struggle, that it is pushed back but still moves forward triumphantly through all ages; I found inspiration in the legend of the Wandering Jew. For twelve months, this concept had been rising from the depths of my thoughts; it often consumed me entirely; sometimes I imagined, like the alchemists, that I had discovered the treasure; then, just as suddenly, it would slip away, and I would despair of ever bringing it to light. I realized how much knowledge of various kinds I needed to acquire first. Often at home, when I had to endure criticism for what they called a lack of study, I would stay up deep into the night, studying history in Hegel's Philosophy of History. I never mentioned this, or anything else I was studying, because then people would immediately start talking about it, like an overly instructive lady who said that people were right to complain that I didn't have enough knowledge. "You really have no mythology," she said; "there's not a single God in all your poems. You need to study mythology; you should read Racine and Corneille." That’s what she called learning; and in the same way, everyone had their own specific recommendations. For my poem about Ahasuerus, I had read and noted a lot, but still not enough; in Greece, I thought, everything would come together clearly. The poem isn’t finished yet, but I hope it will be to my credit; for, just like earthly children, the children of the spirit grow while they sleep.
In Athens I was heartily welcomed by Professor Ross, a native of Holstein, and by my countrymen. I found hospitality and a friendly feeling in the noble Prokesch-Osten; even the king and queen received me most graciously. I celebrated my birthday in the Acropolis.
In Athens, I was warmly welcomed by Professor Ross, who was from Holstein, and by my fellow countrymen. I experienced kindness and a welcoming spirit from the noble Prokesch-Osten; even the king and queen treated me with great kindness. I celebrated my birthday at the Acropolis.
From Athens I sailed to Smyrna, and with me it was no childish pleasure to be able to tread another quarter of the globe. I felt a devotion in it, like that which I felt as a child when I entered the old church at Odense. I thought on Christ, who bled on this earth; I thought on Homer, whose song eternally resounds hence over the earth. The shores of Asia preached to me their sermons, and were perhaps more impressive than any sermon in any church can be.
From Athens, I sailed to Smyrna, and it was no light-hearted joy for me to walk on another part of the globe. I felt a deep sense of devotion, similar to what I felt as a child when I stepped into the old church in Odense. I thought about Christ, who suffered on this earth; I thought about Homer, whose songs resonate forever across the land. The shores of Asia shared their messages with me and were possibly more impactful than any sermon I could hear in a church.
In Constantinople I passed eleven interesting days; and according to my good fortune in travel, the birthday of Mahomet itself fell exactly during my stay there. I saw the grand illumination, which completely transported me into the Thousand and One Nights.
In Constantinople, I spent eleven fascinating days, and by lucky chance, Mahomet's birthday fell right during my visit. I witnessed the grand illumination, which truly transported me into the world of the Thousand and One Nights.
Our Danish ambassador lived several miles from Constantinople, and I had therefore no opportunity of seeing him; but I found a cordial reception with the Austrian internuntius, Baron von St rmer. With him I had a German home and friends. I contemplated making my return by the Black Sea and up the Danube; but the country was disturbed; it was said there had been several thousand Christians murdered. My companions of the voyage, in the hotel where I resided, gave up this route of the Danube, for which I had the greatest desire, and collectively counselled me against it. But in this case I must return again by Greece and Italy—it was a severe conflict.
Our Danish ambassador lived a few miles away from Constantinople, so I didn’t have a chance to see him; however, I was warmly welcomed by the Austrian internuntius, Baron von Str mer. With him, I found a German home and made friends. I was thinking about returning via the Black Sea and up the Danube, but the region was troubled; there were reports of several thousand Christians being murdered. The people traveling with me at the hotel I was staying in decided against taking the Danube route, which I really wanted, and they all advised me against it. Therefore, I would have to go back through Greece and Italy instead—it was a tough decision.
I do not belong to the courageous; I feel fear, especially in little dangers; but in great ones, and when an advantage is to be won, then I have a will, and it has grown firmer with years. I may tremble, I may fear; but I still do that which I consider the most proper to be done. I am not ashamed to confess my weakness; I hold that when out of our own true conviction we run counter to our inborn fear, we have done our duty. I had a strong desire to become acquainted with the interior of the country, and to traverse the Danube in its greatest expansion. I battled with myself; my imagination pointed to me the most horrible circumstances; it was an anxious night. In the morning I took counsel with Baron St rmer; and as he was of opinion that I might undertake the voyage, I determined upon it. From the moment that I had taken my determination, I had the most immovable reliance on Providence, and flung myself calmly on my fate. Nothing happened to me. The voyage was prosperous, and after the quarantine on the Wallachian frontier, which was painful enough to me, I arrived at Vienna on the twenty-first day of the journey. The sight of its towers, and the meeting with numerous Danes, awoke in me the thought of being speedily again at home. The idea bowed down my heart, and sad recollections and mortifications rose up within me once more.
I’m not one of the brave; I feel fear, especially with small dangers. But when it comes to bigger threats, and there's something to gain, I find my determination, which has only grown stronger over the years. I might tremble and be afraid, but I still do what I think is right. I’m not ashamed to admit my weaknesses; I believe that when we act against our natural fear based on our genuine conviction, we’ve fulfilled our duty. I really wanted to explore the interior of the country and navigate the Danube at its widest point. I struggled with myself; my imagination conjured up the worst scenarios, and I had a restless night. In the morning, I consulted with Baron St rmer, and since he thought I could go ahead with the journey, I decided to do it. From the moment I made my decision, I felt a strong trust in Providence and calmly accepted whatever fate had in store for me. Nothing happened to me. The journey went well, and after a challenging quarantine on the Wallachian border, I arrived in Vienna on the twenty-first day of my journey. The sight of its towers and the greeting from several Danes made me think about being home again soon. That thought weighed down my heart, bringing back sad memories and regrets.
In August, 1841, I was again in Copenhagen. There I wrote my recollections of travel, under the title of A Poet's Bazaar, in several chapters, according to the countries. In various places abroad I had met with individuals, as at home, to whom I felt myself attached. A poet is like the bird; he gives what he has, and he gives a song. I was desirous to give every one of those dear ones such a song. It was a fugitive idea, born, may I venture to say, in a grateful mood. Count Rantzau-Breitenburg, who had resided in Italy, who loved the land, and was become a friend and benefactor to me through my Improvisatore, must love that part of the book which treated of his country. To Liszt and Thalberg, who had both shown me the greatest friendship, I dedicated the portion which contained the voyage up the Danube, because one was a Hungarian and the other an Austrian. With these indications, the reader will easily be able to trace out the thought which influenced me in the choice of each dedication. But these appropriations were, in my native country, regarded as a fresh proof of my vanity;—"I wished to figure with great names, to name distinguished people as my friends."
In August 1841, I was back in Copenhagen. There, I wrote my travel memories, titled A Poet's Bazaar, in several chapters based on the countries I visited. While traveling, I encountered people, just like at home, to whom I felt connected. A poet is like a bird; he shares what he has, and he shares a song. I wanted to give each of those beloved individuals a song. It was a fleeting idea, born, if I may say so, from a grateful heart. Count Rantzau-Breitenburg, who had lived in Italy, loved the country, and had become a friend and supporter through my Improvisatore, would appreciate the part of the book that discussed his homeland. To Liszt and Thalberg, both of whom had shown me immense kindness, I dedicated the section about my journey up the Danube since one is Hungarian and the other Austrian. With these clues, readers will easily pick up on the thoughts that guided my choice of each dedication. However, these choices were seen in my home country as another sign of my vanity—“I wanted to associate with great names, to mention distinguished people as my friends.”
The book has been translated into several languages, and the dedications with it. I know not how they have been regarded abroad; if I have been judged there as in Denmark, I hope that this explanation will change the opinion concerning them. In Denmark my Bazaar procured me the most handsome remuneration that I have as yet received,—a proof that I was at length read there. No regular criticism appeared upon it, if we except notices in some daily papers, and afterwards in the poetical attempt of a young writer who, a year before, had testified to me in writing his love, and his wish to do me honor; but who now, in his first public appearance, launched his satirical poem against his friend. I was personally attached to this young man, and am so still. He assuredly thought more on the popularity he would gain by sailing in the wake of Heiberg, than on the pain he would inflict on me. The newspaper criticism in Copenhagen was infinitely stupid. It was set down as exaggerated, that I could have seen the whole round blue globe of the moon in Smyrna at the time of the new moon. That was called fancy and extravagance, which there every one sees who can open his eyes. The new moon has a dark blue and perfectly round disk.
The book has been translated into several languages, along with the dedications. I don’t know how they have been received overseas; if I’ve been judged there like in Denmark, I hope this explanation will change their opinion about them. In Denmark, my Bazaar earned me the best payment I’ve received so far—a sign that I was finally being read there. No formal reviews appeared for it, except for mentions in some daily newspapers, and later in the poetic attempt of a young writer who, a year earlier, had expressed his admiration for me in writing and his desire to honor me; but who now, in his first public work, launched a satirical poem against his friend. I was personally close to this young man, and I still am. He certainly thought more about the popularity he would gain by following Heiberg than the hurt he would cause me. The newspaper reviews in Copenhagen were incredibly foolish. It was considered exaggerated that I could see the whole round blue globe of the moon in Smyrna at the time of the new moon. That was labeled as fanciful and extravagant, which is something anyone can see if they just open their eyes. The new moon has a dark blue and perfectly round disk.
The Danish critics have generally no open eye for nature: even the highest and most cultivated monthly periodical of literature in Denmark censured me once because, in a poem I had described a rainbow by moonlight. That too was my fancy, which, said they, carried me too far. When I said in the Bazaar, "if I were a painter, I would paint this bridge; but, as I am no painter, but a poet, I must therefore speak," &c. Upon this the critic says, "He is so vain, that he tells us himself that he is a poet." There is something so pitiful in such criticism, that one cannot be wounded by it; but even when we are the most peaceable of men, we feel a desire to flagellate such wet dogs, who come into our rooms and lay themselves down in the best place in them. There might be a whole Fool's Chronicle written of all the absurd and shameless things which, from my first appearance before the public till this moment, I have been compelled to hear.
The Danish critics generally have no appreciation for nature: even the top literary magazine in Denmark criticized me once because, in a poem, I described a rainbow by moonlight. They said that was just my imagination and that it went too far. When I mentioned in the Bazaar, "if I were a painter, I would paint this bridge; but since I'm not a painter, just a poet, I have to express myself," the critic responded, "He's so vain that he tells us he's a poet." There's something so pathetic about such criticism that it doesn't hurt us; still, even when we are the most peaceable people, we feel a urge to punish those wet blankets who come into our space and make themselves at home. A whole Fool's Chronicle could be written about all the ridiculous and shameless things I've had to listen to since my first appearance before the public until now.
In the meantime the Bazaar was much read, and made what is called a hit. I received, connected with this book, much encouragement and many recognitions from individuals of the highest distinction in the realms of intellect in my native land.
In the meantime, the Bazaar was widely read and became quite popular. I received a lot of support and recognition related to this book from highly respected individuals in the intellectual circles of my home country.
The journey had strengthened me both in mind and body; I began to show indications of a firmer purpose, a more certain judgment. I was now in harmony with myself and with mankind around me.
The journey had made me stronger in both mind and body; I started to exhibit signs of a clearer purpose and more confident judgment. I was now in sync with myself and with the people around me.
Political life in Denmark had, at that time, arrived at a higher development, producing both good and evil fruits. The eloquence which had formerly accustomed itself to the Demosthenic mode, that of putting little pebbles in the mouth, the little pebbles of every day life, now exercised itself more freely on subjects of greater interest. I felt no call thereto, and no necessity to mix myself up in such matters; for I then believed that the politics of our times were a great misfortune to many a poet. Madame, politics are like Venus; they whom she decoys into her castle perish. It fares with the writings of these poets as with the newspapers: they are seized upon, read, praised, and forgotten. In our days every one wishes to rule; the subjective makes its power of value; people forget that that which is thought of cannot always be carried out, and that many things look very different when contemplated from the top of the tree, to what they did when seen from its roots. I will bow myself before him who is influenced by a noble conviction, and who only desires that which is conducive to good, be he prince or man of the people. Politics are no affair of mine. God has imparted to me another mission: that I felt, and that I feel still. I met in the so-called first families of the country a number of friendly, kind-hearted men, who valued the good that was in me, received me into their circles, and permitted me to participate in the happiness of their opulent summer residences; so that, still feeling independent, I could thoroughly give myself up to the pleasures of nature, the solitude of woods, and country life. There for the first time I lived wholly among the scenery of Denmark, and there I wrote the greater number of my fairy tales. On the banks of quiet lakes, amid the woods, on the green grassy pastures, where the game sprang past me and the stork paced along on his red legs, I heard nothing of politics, nothing of polemics; I heard no one practising himself in Hagel's phraseology. Nature, which was around me and within me, preached to me of my calling. I spent many happy days at the old house of Gisselfeld, formerly a monastery, which stands in the deepest solitude of the woods, surrounded with lakes and hills. The possessor of this fine place, the old Countess Danneskjold, mother of the Duchess of Augustenburg, was an agreeable and excellent lady, I was there not as a poor child of the people, but as a cordially-received guest. The beeches now overshadow her grave in the midst of that pleasant scenery to which her heart was allied.
Political life in Denmark at that time had reached a higher development, producing both positive and negative outcomes. The eloquence that had once been tied to the Demosthenic style—where one had to put little pebbles in their mouth, the everyday challenges—now flowed more freely on more significant topics. I felt no urge to get involved in such issues; I believed that the politics of our time were a significant misfortune for many poets. Madame, politics are like Venus; those whom she lures into her castle perish. The writings of these poets are treated like newspapers: seized upon, read, praised, and then forgotten. Nowadays, everyone wants to be in charge; personal opinion has its own power; people forget that not everything we think can be realized, and many things look very different when viewed from a high vantage point compared to when seen from the ground. I will respect those who are driven by noble convictions and who only desire what is good, whether they are a prince or an ordinary person. Politics are not my concern. God has given me a different purpose: that I felt then, and still feel now. I encountered many friendly, kind-hearted people among the so-called first families of the country, who appreciated the good in me, welcomed me into their circles, and allowed me to enjoy their beautiful summer homes; thus, still feeling independent, I could fully immerse myself in the pleasures of nature, the solitude of the woods, and country living. It was there, for the first time, that I truly lived in the scenery of Denmark, and there I wrote most of my fairy tales. By the peaceful lakes, amid the woods, on the green pastures where the game dashed by and the stork strolled on its long legs, I heard nothing of politics, nothing of debates; I didn’t hear anyone practicing Hegel's jargon. Nature, which surrounded and filled me, spoke to me about my calling. I spent many happy days at the old Gisselfeld estate, once a monastery, nestled deep in the woods and surrounded by lakes and hills. The owner of this beautiful place, the elderly Countess Danneskjold, mother of the Duchess of Augustenburg, was a gracious and wonderful lady; I was there not as a poor child of the people but as a warmly welcomed guest. The beeches now shade her grave in the midst of that lovely landscape to which her heart was so closely tied.
Close by Gisselfeld, but in a still finer situation, and of much greater extent, lies the estate of Bregentoed, which belongs to Count Moltke, Danish Minister of Finance. The hospitality which I met with in this place, one of the richest and most beautiful of our country, and the happy, social life which surrounded me here, have diffused a sunshine over my life.
Close to Gisselfeld, but in an even better location and much larger, is the estate of Bregentoed, owned by Count Moltke, the Danish Minister of Finance. The warm welcome I received at this place, one of the richest and most beautiful in our country, along with the joyful social life surrounding me, has brought a sense of light to my life.
It may appear, perhaps, as if I desired to bring the names of great people prominently forward, and make a parade of them; or as if I wished in this way to offer a kind of thanks to my benefactors. They need it not, and I should be obliged to mention many other names still if this were my intention. I speak, however, only of these two places, and of Nys÷, which belongs to Baron Stampe, and which has become celebrated through Thorwaldsen. Here I lived much with the great sculptor, and here I became acquainted with one of my dearest young friends, the future possessor of the place.
It might seem like I wanted to highlight the names of some famous people and show them off, or that I was trying to give a nod of gratitude to my supporters. They don’t need that, and I would have to mention many more names if that were my goal. Instead, I’m only talking about these two places, and about Nys÷, which is owned by Baron Stampe and has become famous because of Thorwaldsen. I spent a lot of time with the great sculptor there, and that’s where I met one of my closest young friends, who will inherit the place.
Knowledge of life in these various circles has had great influence on me: among princes, among the nobility, and among the poorest of the people, I have met with specimens of noble humanity. We all of us resemble each other in that which is good and best.
Knowledge of life in these different circles has greatly influenced me: among princes, the nobility, and the poorest people, I've encountered examples of noble humanity. We all share similarities in what is good and best.
Winter life in Denmark has likewise its attractions and its rich variety. I spent also some time in the country during this season, and made myself acquainted with its peculiar characteristics. The greatest part of my time, however, I passed in Copenhagen. I felt myself at home with the married sons and daughters of Collin, where a number of amiable children were growing up. Every year strengthened the bond of friendship between myself and the nobly-gifted composer, Hartmann: art and the freshness of nature prospered in his house. Collin was my counsellor in practical life, and Oersted in my literary affairs. The theatre was, if I may so say, my club. I visited it every evening, and in this very year I had received a place in the so-called court stalls. An author must, as a matter of course, work himself up to it. After the first accepted piece he obtains admission to the pit; after the second greater work, in the stalls, where the actors have their seats; and after three larger works, or a succession of lesser pieces, the poet is advanced to the best places. Here were to be found Thorwaldsen, Oehlenschl ger, and several older poets; and here also, in 1840,1 obtained a place, after I had given in seven pieces. Whilst Thorwaldsen lived, I often, by his own wish, sate at his side. Oehlenschl ger was also my neighbor, and in many an evening hour, when no one dreamed of it, my soul was steeped in deep humility, as I sate between these great spirits. The different periods of my life passed before me; the time when I sate on the hindmost bench in the box of the female figurantes, as well as that in which, full of childish superstition, I knelt down there upon the stage and repeated the Lord's Prayer, just before the very place where I now sate among the first and the most distinguished men. At the time, perhaps, when a countryman of mine thus thought of and passed judgment upon me,—"there he sits, between the two great spirits, full of arrogance and pride;" he may now perceive by this acknowledgment how unjustly he has judged me. Humility, and prayer to God for strength to deserve my happiness, filled my heart. May He always enable me to preserve these feelings? I enjoyed the friendship of Thorwaldsen as well as of Oehlenschl ger, those two most distinguished stars in the horizon of the North. I may here bring forward their reflected glory in and around me.
Winter life in Denmark has its own charm and variety. I also spent some time in the countryside during this season and got to know its unique characteristics. However, I spent most of my time in Copenhagen. I felt at home with Collin's married sons and daughters, where a number of lovely children were growing up. Each year, my friendship with the talented composer, Hartmann, grew stronger; art and the freshness of nature thrived in his home. Collin was my advisor in practical matters, while Oersted guided me in my literary pursuits. The theater was, in a way, my social hub. I went there every evening, and this year I had gained a spot in the so-called court stalls. An author must earn their way up. After getting the first piece accepted, you get into the pit; after the second major work, you move to the stalls, where the actors sit; and after three larger works, or a series of smaller pieces, the poet gets upgraded to the best seats. In those spots were Thorwaldsen, Oehlenschl ger, and several other established poets; and it was here in 1840 that I got my place after submitting seven pieces. While Thorwaldsen was alive, I often sat by his side at his request. Oehlenschl ger was also my neighbor, and many evenings, when no one suspected, I was filled with deep humility sitting between these great spirits. Different stages of my life flashed before me; I remembered when I sat on the back bench in the box for the female figurantes, and the time I knelt on the stage full of childish superstition, reciting the Lord's Prayer right where I now sat among some of the most esteemed men. At that time, perhaps, when a fellow countryman was thinking and judging me—"there he sits, between those two great spirits, full of arrogance and pride;" he may now see through this acknowledgment how unfairly he judged me. Humility and a prayer to God for strength to deserve my happiness filled my heart. May He always help me keep these feelings? I enjoyed friendships with both Thorwaldsen and Oehlenschl ger, two shining stars on the horizon of the North. I can here highlight their reflected glory in and around me.
There is in the character of Oehlenschl ger, when he is not seen in the circles of the great, where he is quiet and reserved, something so open and child-like, that no one can help becoming attached to him. As a poet, he holds in the North a position of as great importance as Goethe did in Germany. He is in his best works so penetrated by the spirit of the North, that through him it has, as it were, ascended upon all nations. In foreign countries he is not so much appreciated. The works by which he is best known are "Correggio" and "Aladdin;" but assuredly his masterly poem of "The Northern Gods" occupied a far higher rank: it is our "Iliad." It possesses power, freshness—nay, any expression of mine is poor. It is possessed of grandeur; it is the poet Oehlenschl ger in the bloom of his soul. Hakon, Jarl, and Palnatoke will live in the poetry of Oehlenschl ger as long as mankind endures. Denmark, Norway, and Sweden have fully appreciated him, and have shown him that they do so, and whenever it is asked who occupies the first place in the kingdom of mind, the palm is always awarded to him. He is the true-born poet; he appears always young, whilst he himself, the oldest of all, surpasses all in the productiveness of his mind. He listened with friendly disposition to my first lyrical outpourings; and he acknowledged with earnestness and cordiality the poet who told the fairy-tales. My Biographer in the Danish Pantheon brought me in contact with Oehlenschl ger, when he said, "In our days it is becoming more and more rare for any one, by implicitly following those inborn impulses of his soul, which make themselves irresistibly felt, to step forward as an artist or a poet. He is more frequently fashioned by fate and circumstances than apparently destined by nature herself for this office. With the greater number of our poets an early acquaintance with passion, early inward experience, or outward circumstances, stand instead of the original vein of nature, and this cannot in any case be more incontestably proved in our own literature than by instancing Oehlenschl ger and Andersen. And in this way it may be explained why the former has been so frequently the object for the attacks of the critics, and why the latter was first properly appreciated as a poet in foreign countries where civilization of a longer date has already produced a disinclination for the compulsory rule of schools, and has occasioned a reaction towards that which is fresh and natural; whilst we Danes, on the contrary, cherish a pious respect for the yoke of the schools and the worn-out wisdom of maxims."
There’s something in Oehlenschläger’s character, when he’s not in high society, where he is quiet and reserved, that is so open and child-like that it’s hard not to get attached to him. As a poet, he holds a position in the North that is as significant as Goethe’s in Germany. In his best works, he embodies the spirit of the North so deeply that it has, in a way, ascended to all nations through him. He isn’t as appreciated in other countries. The works he’s best known for are "Correggio" and "Aladdin," but his masterful poem "The Northern Gods" definitely deserves more recognition; it’s our "Iliad." It has power and freshness—any description I provide doesn’t do it justice. It has grandeur; it captures Oehlenschläger at the height of his creativity. Hakon, Jarl, and Palnatoke will remain in Oehlenschläger’s poetry as long as humanity exists. Denmark, Norway, and Sweden appreciate him entirely and have shown this, and whenever it's asked who holds the top spot in the realm of thought, he’s always acknowledged as the best. He’s a truly born poet; he seems forever young, while he, being the oldest of all, surpasses everyone in his mental productivity. He listened with kindness to my first lyrical expressions and genuinely acknowledged the poet who shared fairy tales. My Biographer in the Danish Pantheon introduced me to Oehlenschläger when he mentioned, "In our time, it’s becoming increasingly rare for anyone to step forward as an artist or poet by simply following the natural impulses of their soul, which are compellingly felt. More often, individuals are shaped by fate and circumstances rather than being destined by nature for this role. For many of our poets, early encounters with passion, initial inward experiences, or external circumstances replace the original nature, and this can be most clearly demonstrated in our literature by highlighting Oehlenschlæger and Andersen. This also explains why Oehlenschlæger has frequently faced criticism and why Andersen was only properly recognized as a poet in foreign countries where a longer history of civilization has led to a resistance against rigid educational systems, and has prompted a return to what is fresh and natural; meanwhile, we Danes tend to hold a respectful reverence for the constraints of academic institutions and outdated wisdom."
Thorwaldsen, whom, as I have already said, I had become acquainted with in Rome in the years 1833 and 1834, was expected in Denmark in the autumn of 1838, and great festive preparations were made in consequence. A flag was to wave upon one of the towers of Copenhagen as soon as the vessel which brought him should come in sight. It was a national festival. Boats decorated with flowers and flags filled the Rhede; painters, sculptors, all had their flags with emblems; the students' bore a Minerva, the poets' a Pegasus. It was misty weather, and the ship was first seen when it was already close by the city, and all poured out to meet him. The poets, who, I believe, according to the arrangement of Heiberg, had been invited, stood by their boat; Oehlenschl ger and Heiberg alone had not arrived. And now guns were fired from the ship, which came to anchor, and it was to be feared that Thorwaldsen might land before we had gone out to meet him. The wind bore the voice of singing over to us: the festive reception had already begun.
Thorwaldsen, whom I got to know in Rome in 1833 and 1834, was expected in Denmark in the fall of 1838, and big celebrations were planned because of it. A flag was supposed to fly from one of the towers in Copenhagen as soon as the ship bringing him was spotted. It was a national celebration. Boats decorated with flowers and flags filled the harbor; painters and sculptors all had their flags with symbols; the students had a Minerva, and the poets had a Pegasus. It was a foggy day, and the ship was first seen when it was already close to the city, and everyone rushed out to greet him. The poets, who I believe were invited by Heiberg, were by their boat; only Oehlenschläger and Heiberg hadn’t shown up yet. Then, cannon fire came from the ship as it anchored, and there was a worry that Thorwaldsen might disembark before we got out to meet him. The wind carried the sound of singing to us: the festive reception had already started.
I wished to see him, and therefore cried out to the others, "Let us put off!"
I wanted to see him, so I called out to the others, "Let's wait!"
"Without Oehlenschl ger and Heiberg?" asked some one.
"Without Oehlenschläger and Heiberg?" someone asked.
"But they are not arrived, and it will be all over."
"But they haven't arrived, and it'll all be over."
One of the poets declared that if these two men were not with us, I should not sail under that flag, and pointed up to Pegasus.
One of the poets said that if these two guys weren't here with us, I wouldn't sail under that flag, and pointed up at Pegasus.
"We will throw it in the boat," said I, and took it down from the staff; the others now followed me, and came up just as Thorwaldsen reached land. We met with Oehlenschl ger and Heiberg in another boat, and they came over to us as the enthusiasm began on shore.
"We'll throw it in the boat," I said, taking it down from the staff; the others followed me and arrived just as Thorwaldsen reached land. We encountered Oehlenschläger and Heiberg in another boat, and they came over to us as the excitement started on shore.
The people drew Thorwaldsen's carriage through the streets to his house, where everybody who had the slightest acquaintance with him, or with the friends of a friend of his, thronged around him. In the evening the artists gave him a serenade, and the blaze of the torches illumined the garden under the large trees, there was an exultation and joy which really and truly was felt. Young and old hastened through the open doors, and the joyful old man clasped those whom he knew to his breast, gave them his kiss, and pressed their hands. There was a glory round Thorwaldsen which kept me timidly back: my heart beat for joy of seeing him who had met me when abroad with kindness and consolation, who had pressed me to his heart, and had said that we must always remain friends. But here in this jubilant crowd, where thousands noticed every movement of his, where I too by all these should be observed and criticised—yes, criticised as a vain man who now only wished to show that he too was acquainted with Thorwaldsen, and that this great man was kind and friendly towards him—here, in this dense crowd, I drew myself back, and avoided being recognized by him. Some days afterwards, and early in the morning, I went to call upon him, and found him as a friend who had wondered at not having seen me earlier.
The people pulled Thorwaldsen's carriage through the streets to his house, where everyone who knew him, or had even a friend of a friend connection, gathered around him. In the evening, the artists put on a serenade, and the glow from the torches lit up the garden under the big trees, creating a sense of excitement and joy that was genuinely felt. Young and old rushed through the open doors, and the happy old man embraced those he recognized, kissed them, and shook their hands. There was a radiance around Thorwaldsen that made me hold back; my heart raced with joy at seeing him, the man who had greeted me kindly and offered solace during my travels, who had pulled me into his embrace and said we must always be friends. But in this celebrating crowd, where thousands were watching his every move, and where I would also be seen and judged—yes, labeled as a vain person wanting to show off his connection to Thorwaldsen, and that this great man was nice to him—here, in this thick crowd, I kept my distance and avoided being recognized by him. A few days later, early in the morning, I went to visit him and found him like a friend surprised that he hadn't seen me earlier.
In honor of Thorwaldsen a musical-poetic academy was established, and the poets, who were invited to do so by Heiberg, wrote and read each one a poem in praise of him who had returned home. I wrote of Jason who fetched the golden fleece—that is to say, Jason-Thorwaldsen, who went forth to win golden art. A great dinner and a ball closed the festival, in which, for the first time in Denmark, popular life and a subject of great interest in the realms of art were made public.
In honor of Thorwaldsen, a musical and poetic academy was set up, and the poets, who were invited by Heiberg, each wrote and shared a poem celebrating his return home. I wrote about Jason, who brought back the golden fleece—that is, Jason-Thorwaldsen, who went out to achieve golden art. A big dinner and a dance wrapped up the festival, marking the first time in Denmark that popular culture and a topic of great interest in the art world were made public.
From this evening I saw Thorwaldsen almost daily in company or in his studio: I often passed several weeks together with him at Nys÷, where he seemed to have firmly taken root, and where the greater number of his works, executed in Denmark, had their origin. He was of a healthful and simple disposition of mind, not without humor, and, therefore, he was extremely attached to Holberg the poet: he did not at all enter into the troubles and the disruptions of the world.
From this evening on, I saw Thorwaldsen almost every day, either in company or in his studio. I often spent several weeks with him at Nys÷, where he seemed to have settled in, and where most of his works created in Denmark originated. He had a healthy and straightforward mindset, not without a sense of humor, which is why he was very fond of the poet Holberg. He didn’t get involved in the troubles and chaos of the world at all.
One morning at Nys÷—at the time when he was working at his own statue—I entered his work-room and bade him good morning; he appeared as if he did not wish to notice me, and I stole softly away again. At breakfast he was very parsimonious in the use of words, and when somebody asked him to say something at all events, he replied in his dry way:—
One morning at Nys—when he was working on his statue—I walked into his workshop and said good morning; he acted like he didn’t want to acknowledge me, so I quietly left again. At breakfast, he was quite stingy with his words, and when someone asked him to say something, he responded in his usual dry manner:—
"I have said more during this morning than in many whole days, but nobody heard me. There I stood, and fancied that Andersen was behind me, for he came, and said good morning—so I told him a long story about myself and Byron. I thought that he might give one word in reply, and turned myself round; and there had I been standing a whole hour and chattering aloud to the bare walls."
"I've talked more this morning than I have in many whole days, but no one was really listening. I stood there, imagining that Andersen was behind me because he came by and said good morning—so I told him a long story about myself and Byron. I thought he might say something in response, so I turned around; turns out I had been standing there for a whole hour just talking to empty walls."
We all of us besought him to let us hear the whole story yet once more; but we had it now very short.
We all begged him to tell us the whole story one more time; but now we got it very briefly.
"Oh, that was in Rome," said he, "when I was about to make Byron's statue; he placed himself just opposite to me, and began immediately to assume quite another countenance to what was customary to him. 'Will not you sit still?' said I; 'but you must not make these faces.' 'It is my expression,' said Byron. 'Indeed?' said I, and then I made him as I wished, and everybody said, when it was finished, that I had hit the likeness. When Byron, however, saw it, he said, 'It does not resemble me at all; I look more unhappy.'"
"Oh, that was in Rome," he said, "when I was about to create Byron's statue; he positioned himself right in front of me and immediately started to adopt a completely different expression than usual. 'Will you not sit still?' I asked; 'but you can't make those faces.' 'It's my expression,' Byron replied. 'Really?' I said, and then I shaped him the way I wanted, and everyone said that when it was done, I had captured his likeness. When Byron saw it, though, he said, 'It doesn't look like me at all; I look more miserable.'"
"He was, above all things, so desirous of looking extremely unhappy," added Thorwaldsen, with a comic expression.
"He was, above all, so eager to look really unhappy," added Thorwaldsen, with a funny expression.
It afforded the great sculptor pleasure to listen to music after dinner with half-shut eyes, and it was his greatest delight when in the evening the game of lotto began, which the whole neighborhood of Nys÷ was obliged to learn; they only played for glass pieces, and on this account I am able to relate a peculiar characteristic of this otherwise great man—that he played with the greatest interest on purpose to win. He would espouse with warmth and vehemence the part of those from whom he believed that he had received an injustice; he opposed himself to unfairness and raillery, even against the lady of the house, who for the rest had the most childlike sentiments towards him, and who had no other thought than how to make everything most agreeable to him. In his company I wrote several of my tales for children—for example, "Ole Luck Oin," ("Ole Shut Eye,") to which he listened with pleasure and interest. Often in the twilight, when the family circle sate in the open garden parlor, Thorwaldsen would come softly behind me, and, clapping me on the shoulder, would ask, "Shall we little ones hear any tales tonight?"
It brought great joy to the sculptor to listen to music after dinner with his eyes half-closed, and he found his greatest pleasure in the evenings when the lottery game started, which everyone in the neighborhood of Nys had to learn. They only played for glass pieces, and because of this, I can share a unique trait of this otherwise remarkable man—he played with intense interest just to win. He would passionately defend those he believed had been wronged and would stand against unfairness and teasing, even toward the lady of the house, who, by the way, held the most innocent feelings for him and only wanted to make everything as pleasant as possible for him. In his company, I wrote several of my children's stories—for example, "Ole Luck Oin" ("Ole Shut Eye"), which he listened to with pleasure and interest. Often at twilight, when the family gathered in the garden parlor, Thorwaldsen would quietly come up behind me, pat me on the shoulder, and ask, "Shall we little ones hear any tales tonight?"
In his own peculiarly natural manner he bestowed the most bountiful praise on my fictions, for their truth; it delighted him to hear the same stories over and over again. Often, during his most glorious works, would he stand with laughing countenance, and listen to the stories of the Top and the Ball, and the Ugly Duckling. I possess a certain talent of improvising in my native tongue little poems and songs. This talent amused Thorwaldsen very much; and as he had modelled, at Nys÷, Holberg's portrait in clay, I was commissioned to make a poem for his work, and he received, therefore, the following impromptu:—
In his own uniquely natural way, he showered my stories with the most generous praise for their truth; he loved hearing the same tales repeatedly. Often, during his most brilliant moments, he would stand there with a laughing face, listening to the stories of the Top and the Ball, and the Ugly Duckling. I have a knack for improvising little poems and songs in my native language. This talent really entertained Thorwaldsen; and since he had sculpted Holberg's portrait in clay at Nysö, I was asked to write a poem for his piece, and so I presented him with the following impromptu:—
"No more shall Holberg live," by Death was said, "I crush the clay, his soul's bonds heretofore." "And from the formless clay, the cold, the dead," Cried Thorwaldsen, "shall Holberg live once more."
"Holberg won't live anymore," Death declared, "I'll crush the clay that has kept his soul bound." "And from the shapeless clay, the cold, the dead," Thorwaldsen shouted, "Holberg will live again."
One morning, when he had just modelled in clay his great bas-relief of the Procession to Golgotha, I entered his study.
One morning, after he had just sculpted his amazing bas-relief of the Procession to Golgotha in clay, I walked into his studio.
"Tell me," said he, "does it seem to you that I have dressed Pilate properly?"
"Tell me," he asked, "do you think I’ve dressed Pilate correctly?"
"You must not say anything to him," said the Baroness, who was always with him: "it is right; it is excellent; go away with you!"
"You can't say anything to him," said the Baroness, who was always by his side. "It's proper; it's great; just leave!"
Thorwaldsen repeated his question.
Thorwaldsen asked his question again.
"Well, then," said I, "as you ask me, I must confess that it really does appear to me as if Pilate were dressed rather as an Egyptian than as a Roman."
"Well, then," I said, "since you’re asking me, I have to admit that it honestly seems to me like Pilate is dressed more like an Egyptian than a Roman."
"It seems to me so too," said Thorwaldsen, seizing the clay with his hand, and destroying the figure.
"It seems that way to me too," said Thorwaldsen, grabbing the clay with his hand and ruining the figure.
"Now you are guilty of his having annihilated an immortal work," exclaimed the Baroness to me with warmth.
"Now you are responsible for him having destroyed a timeless masterpiece," the Baroness said to me passionately.
"Then we can make a new immortal work," said he, in a cheerful humor, and modelled Pilate as he now remains in the bas-relief in the Ladies' Church in Copenhagen.
"Then we can create a new timeless masterpiece," he said, in a cheerful mood, and shaped Pilate as he is now depicted in the bas-relief in the Ladies' Church in Copenhagen.
His last birth-day was celebrated there in the country. I had written a merry little song, and it was hardly dry on the paper, when we sang it, in the early morning, before his door, accompanied by the music of jingling fire-irons, gongs, and bottles rubbed against a basket. Thorwaldsen himself, in his morning gown and slippers, opened his door, and danced round his chamber; swung round his Raphael's cap, and joined in the chorus. There was life and mirth in the strong old man.
His last birthday was celebrated out in the countryside. I had written a cheerful little song, and it was barely dry on the paper when we sang it in the early morning, right outside his door, accompanied by the sounds of jingling fire-irons, gongs, and bottles being rubbed against a basket. Thorwaldsen himself, wearing his morning gown and slippers, opened his door, danced around his room, twirled his Raphael's cap, and joined in the chorus. The strong old man was full of life and joy.
On the last day of his life I sate by him at dinner; he was unusually good-humored; repeated several witticisms which he had just read in the Corsair, a well-known Copenhagen newspaper, and spoke of the journey which he should undertake to Italy in the summer. After this we parted; he went to the theatre, and I home.
On the last day of his life, I sat by him at dinner; he was unusually cheerful, shared several jokes he had just read in the Corsair, a popular Copenhagen newspaper, and talked about the trip he planned to take to Italy in the summer. After that, we said goodbye; he went to the theater, and I went home.
On the following morning the waiter at the hotel where I lived said, "that it was a very remarkable thing about Thorwaldsen—that he had died yesterday."
On the next morning, the waiter at the hotel where I stayed said, "it's quite remarkable about Thorwaldsen—that he passed away yesterday."
"Thorwaldsen!" exclaimed I; "he is not dead, I dined with him yesterday."
"Thorwaldsen!" I exclaimed; "he's not dead, I had dinner with him yesterday."
"People say that he died last evening at the theatre," returned the waiter. I fancied that he might be taken ill; but still I felt a strange anxiety, and hastened immediately over to his house. There lay his corpse stretched out on the bed; the chamber was filled with strangers; the floor wet with melted snow; the air stifling; no one said a word: the Baroness Stampe sate on the bed and wept bitterly. I stood trembling and deeply agitated.
"People say he died last night at the theater," replied the waiter. I thought he might have gotten sick; but I felt a strange anxiety and rushed over to his house. There lay his body, stretched out on the bed; the room was filled with strangers; the floor was soaked with melted snow; the air was heavy; no one spoke a word: Baroness Stampe sat on the bed and wept inconsolably. I stood there, trembling and deeply shaken.
A farewell hymn, which I wrote, and to which Hartmann composed the music, was sung by Danish students over his coffin.
A goodbye song that I wrote, and to which Hartmann created the music, was sung by Danish students at his coffin.
CHAPTER VII.
In the summer of 1842, I wrote a little piece for the summer theatre, called, "The Bird in the Pear-tree," in which several scenes were acted up in the pear-tree. I had called it a dramatic trifle, in order that no one might expect either a great work or one of a very elaborate character. It was a little sketch, which, after being performed a few times, was received with so much applause, that the directors of the theatre accepted it; nay, even Mrs. Heiberg, the favorite of the public, desired to take a part in it. People had amused themselves; had thought the selection of the music excellent. I knew that the piece had stood its rehearsal—and then suddenly it was hissed. Some young men, who gave the word to hiss, had said to some others, who inquired from them their reasons for doing so, that the trifle had too much luck, and then Andersen would be getting too mettlesome.
In the summer of 1842, I wrote a small piece for the summer theater called "The Bird in the Pear-tree," where several scenes took place in the pear tree. I referred to it as a dramatic trifle to set the expectation that it wasn’t meant to be a grand or elaborate work. It was a little sketch that, after a few performances, received such applause that the theater directors accepted it; even Mrs. Heiberg, the public's favorite, wanted a part in it. People enjoyed themselves and thought the music selection was excellent. I knew the piece had done well in rehearsals—but then suddenly it was booed. Some young men who started the booing told others who asked for their reasons that the trifle had too much success, and then Andersen would become too confident.
I was not, on this evening, at the theatre myself, and had not the least idea of what was going on. On the following I went to the house of one of my friends. I had head-ache, and was looking very grave. The lady of the house met me with a sympathizing manner, took my hand, and said, "Is it really worth while to take it so much to heart? There were only two who hissed, the whole house beside took your part."
I wasn't at the theater that evening and had no idea what was happening. The next day, I went to a friend's house. I had a headache and looked pretty serious. The lady of the house greeted me sympathetically, took my hand, and said, "Is it really worth getting so upset? Only two people hissed; everyone else was on your side."
"Hissed! My part! Have I been hissed?" exclaimed I.
"Hissed! My part! Have I really been hissed?" I exclaimed.
It was quite comic; one person assured me that this hissing had been a triumph for me; everybody had joined in acclamation, and "there was only one who hissed."
It was pretty funny; one person told me that the hissing had actually been a win for me; everyone had cheered, and "there was only one person who hissed."
After this, another person came, and I asked him of the number of those who hissed. "Two," said he. The next person said "three," and said positively there were no more. One of my most veracious friends now made his appearance, and I asked him upon his conscience, how many he had heard; he laid his hand upon his heart, and said that, at the very highest, they were five.
After that, another person showed up, and I asked him how many people had hissed. "Two," he replied. The next person said "three," insisting there were definitely no more. One of my most reliable friends then arrived, and I asked him honestly how many he had heard; he placed his hand on his heart and said that, at most, there were five.
"No," said I, "now I will ask nobody more; the number grows just as with Falstaff; here stands one who asserts that there was only one person who hissed."
"No," I said, "I'm not asking anyone else; the number keeps increasing just like with Falstaff; here stands someone who claims that there was only one person who booed."
Shocked, and yet inclined to set it all right again, he replied, "Yes, that is possible, but then it was a strong, powerful hiss."
Shocked, but still wanting to fix everything, he replied, "Yeah, that's possible, but it was a strong, intense hiss."
By my last works, and through a rational economy, I had now saved a small sum of money, which I destined to the purposes of a new journey to Paris, where I arrived in the winter of 1843, by way of D sseldorf, through Belgium.
By my recent projects, and through smart budgeting, I had now saved a small amount of money, which I planned to use for a new trip to Paris, where I arrived in the winter of 1843, via Düsseldorf, through Belgium.
Marmier had already, in the R vue de Paris, written an article on me, La Vie d'un Po te. He had also translated several of my poems into French, and had actually honored me with a poem which is printed in the above-named R vue. My name had thus reached, like a sound, the ears of some persons in the literary world, and I here met with a surprisingly friendly reception.
Marmier had already written an article about me, "La Vie d'un Poète," in the R vue de Paris. He had also translated several of my poems into French and had even honored me with a poem that appears in the aforementioned R vue. My name had thus traveled, like a sound, to the attention of some people in the literary world, and I was surprisingly welcomed.
At Victor Hugo's invitation, I saw his abused Burggraves. Mr. and Mrs. Ancelot opened their house to me, and there I met Martinez della Rosa and other remarkable men of these times. Lamart ne seemed to me, in his domestic, and in his whole personal appearance, as the prince of them all. On my apologizing because I spoke such bad French, he replied, that he was to blame, because he did not understand the northern languages, in which, as he had discovered in late years, there existed a fresh and vigorous literature, and where the poetical ground was so peculiar that you had only to stoop down to find an old golden horn. He asked about the Trollh tta canal, and avowed a wish to visit Denmark and Stockholm. He recollected also our now reigning king, to whom, when as prince he was in Castellamare, he had paid his respects; besides this, he exhibited for a Frenchman, an extraordinary acquaintance with names and places in Denmark. On my departure he wrote a little poem for me, which I preserve amongst my dearest relics.
At Victor Hugo's invitation, I visited his troubled Burggraves. Mr. and Mrs. Ancelot welcomed me into their home, where I met Martinez della Rosa and other notable figures of the time. Lamartine struck me as the most distinguished among them all, both in his demeanor and appearance. When I apologized for my poor French, he replied that it was his fault for not understanding the northern languages, which, he had discovered in recent years, had a fresh and vibrant literature. He remarked that the poetic qualities of those languages were so unique that you only had to bend down to find an old golden horn. He inquired about the Trollhättan canal and expressed a desire to visit Denmark and Stockholm. He also recalled our current king, sharing that he had paid his respects to him when he was a prince in Castellamare; furthermore, he demonstrated an impressive knowledge of names and places in Denmark for a Frenchman. Before I left, he wrote me a little poem, which I cherish among my most treasured keepsakes.
I generally found the jovial Alexander Dumas in bed, even long after mid-day: here he lay, with paper, pen, and ink, and wrote his newest drama. I found him thus one day; he nodded kindly to me, and said, "Sit down a minute; I have just now a visit from my muse; she will be going directly." He wrote on; spoke aloud; shouted a viva! sprang out of bed, and said, "The third act is finished!"
I usually found the cheerful Alexander Dumas in bed, even well past noon: there he was, with paper, pen, and ink, writing his latest play. I came across him like this one day; he nodded warmly at me and said, "Sit down for a minute; my muse just visited me; she’ll be leaving soon." He kept writing, talking out loud, and suddenly shouted a viva! then jumped out of bed and exclaimed, "The third act is finished!"
One evening he conducted me round into the various theatres, that I might see the life behind the scenes. We wandered about, arm in arm, along the gay Boulevard.
One evening he took me around to the different theaters so I could see what goes on behind the scenes. We strolled, arm in arm, along the lively Boulevard.
I also have to thank him for my acquaintance with Rachel. I had not seen her act, when Alexander Dumas asked me whether I had the desire to make her acquaintance. One evening, when she was to come out as Phedra he led me to the stage of the Th atre Fran ais. The Representation had begun, and behind the scenes, where a folding screen had formed a sort of room, in which stood a table with refreshments, and a few ottomans, sate the young girl who, as an author has said, understands how to chisel living statues out of Racine's and Corneille's blocks of marble. She was thin and slenderly formed, and looked very young. She looked to me there, and more particularly so afterwards in her own house, as an image of mourning; as a young girl who has just wept out her sorrow, and will now let her thoughts repose in quiet. She accosted us kindly in a deep powerful voice. In the course of conversation with Dumas, she forgot me. I stood there quite superfluous. Dumas observed it, said something handsome of me, and on that I ventured to take part in the discourse, although I had a depressing feeling that I stood before those who perhaps spoke the most beautiful French in all France. I said that I truly had seen much that was glorious and interesting, but that I had never yet seen a Rachel, and that on her account especially had I devoted the profits of my last work to a journey to Paris; and as, in conclusion, I added an apology on account of my French, she smiled and said, "When you say anything so polite as that which you have just said to me, to a Frenchwoman, she will always think that you speak well."
I also need to thank him for introducing me to Rachel. I hadn’t seen her perform when Alexander Dumas asked if I wanted to meet her. One evening, when she was about to take the stage as Phedra, he brought me to the Théâtre Français. The show had started, and backstage, there was a folding screen creating a cozy space with a table of refreshments and a few ottomans. There was the young girl who, as an author has noted, knows how to carve living statues from Racine's and Corneille's marble. She was slender and appeared quite young. To me, especially later at her home, she looked like a picture of mourning—like a young woman who had just cried out her sadness and was now resting in peace. She greeted us warmly with a deep, powerful voice. As Dumas chatted with her, she lost track of me. I felt pretty unnecessary. Dumas noticed this, complimented me, and I took the chance to join in the conversation, though I felt a bit down thinking I was in front of people who perhaps spoke the finest French in all of France. I mentioned that I had seen many amazing and interesting things, but I had never seen anyone like Rachel, and it was especially for her that I used the profits from my latest work to travel to Paris. As I wrapped up with an apology for my French, she smiled and said, "When you say something as polite as what you just said to me, a Frenchwoman will always think you speak well."
When I told her that her fame had resounded to the North, she declared that it was her intention to go to Petersburg and Copenhagen: "and when I come to your city", she said, "you must be my defender, as you are the only one there whom I know; and in order that we may become acquainted, and as you, as you say, are come to Paris especially on my account, we must see each other frequently. You will be welcome to me. I see my friends at my house every Thursday. But duty calls," said she, and offering us her hand, she nodded kindly, and then stood a few paces from us on the stage, taller, quite different, and with the expression of the tragic muse herself. Joyous acclamations ascended to where we sat.
When I told her that her fame had reached the North, she said she planned to go to Petersburg and Copenhagen: "and when I come to your city," she said, "you must be my protector since you’re the only person I know there; and for us to get to know each other, since you claim to have come to Paris just for me, we need to see each other often. You’ll be welcome here. I have friends over every Thursday. But duty calls," she said, offering us her hand, nodding kindly, and then stepping a few paces away from us on the stage, taller, completely different, and with the look of a tragic muse. Joyful cheers rose up to where we were sitting.
As a Northlander I cannot accustom myself to the French mode of acting tragedy. Rachel plays in this same style, but in her it appears to be nature itself; it is as if all the others strove to imitate her. She is herself the French tragic muse, the others are only poor human beings. When Rachel plays people fancy that all tragedy must be acted in this manner. It is in her truth and nature, but under another revelation to that with which we are acquainted in the north.
As a Northlander, I can't get used to the French way of performing tragedy. Rachel acts in this same style, but for her, it feels completely natural; it's like everyone else is trying to copy her. She embodies the French tragic muse, while the others are just ordinary people. When Rachel performs, people believe that all tragedy should be acted out like this. Her performance has an authenticity and essence, but it's revealed in a different way than what we're familiar with in the north.
At her house everything is rich and magnificent, perhaps too recherch . The innermost room was blue-green, with shaded lamps and statuettes of French authors. In the salon, properly speaking, the color which prevailed principally in the carpets, curtains, and bookcases was crimson. She herself was dressed in black, probably as she is represented in the well-known English steel engraving of her. Her guests consisted of gentlemen, for the greater part artists and men of learning. I also heard a few titles amongst them. Richly apparelled servants announced the names of the arrivals; tea was drunk and refreshments handed round, more in the German than the French style.
At her house, everything is luxurious and impressive, maybe even a bit too extravagant. The innermost room was a blue-green color, adorned with shaded lamps and statues of French writers. In the main salon, the dominant color in the carpets, curtains, and bookshelves was crimson. She herself was dressed in black, probably just like in the famous English steel engraving of her. Her guests were mostly gentlemen, many of whom were artists and scholars. I also heard a few titles among them. Well-dressed servants announced the names of those arriving; tea was served, and refreshments were passed around, more in the German style than the French.
Victor Hugo had told me that he found she understood the German language. I asked her, and she replied in German, "ich kann es lesen; ich bin ja in Lothringen geboren; ich habe deutsche B cher, sehn Sie hier!" and she showed me Grillparzer's "Sappho," and then immediately continued the conversation in French. She expressed her pleasure in acting the part of Sappho, and then spoke of Schiller's "Maria Stuart," which character she has personated in a French version of that play. I saw her in this part, and she gave the last act especially with such a composure and tragic feeling, that she might have been one of the best of German actresses; but it was precisely in this very act that the French liked her least.
Victor Hugo told me that he found out she understood German. I asked her, and she replied in German, "Ich kann es lesen; ich bin ja in Lothringen geboren; ich habe deutsche Bücher, sehen Sie hier!" and she showed me Grillparzer's "Sappho," and then immediately continued the conversation in French. She expressed her enjoyment of playing the role of Sappho and then talked about Schiller's "Maria Stuart," a character she portrayed in a French version of that play. I saw her in this role, and she delivered the last act with such composure and tragic emotion that she could have been one of the best German actresses; however, it was precisely in this very act that the French liked her the least.
"My countrymen," said she, "are not accustomed to this manner, and in this manner alone can the part be given. No one should be raving when the heart is almost broken with sorrow, and when he is about to take an everlasting farewell of his friends."
"My fellow citizens," she said, "are not used to this way, and this way alone can the role be assigned. No one should be losing their mind when their heart is nearly shattered with grief, especially when they are about to say a final goodbye to their friends."
Her drawing-room was, for the most part, decorated with books which were splendidly bound and arranged in handsome book-cases behind glass. A painting hung on the wall, which represented the interior of the theatre in London, where she stood forward on the stage, and flowers and garlands were thrown to her across the orchestra. Below this picture hung a pretty little book-shelf, holding what I call "the high nobility among the poets,"—Goethe, Schiller, Calderon, Shakspeare, &c.
Her living room was mainly decorated with beautifully bound books organized in elegant glass-fronted bookcases. A painting on the wall depicted the interior of a London theater, where she stood on stage, receiving flowers and garlands thrown to her from the orchestra. Below this painting was a lovely little shelf that held what I refer to as "the high nobility among the poets": Goethe, Schiller, Calderon, Shakespeare, etc.
She asked me many questions respecting Germany and Denmark, art, and the theatre; and she encouraged me with a kind smile around her grave mouth, when I stumbled in French and stopped for a moment to collect myself, that I might not stick quite fast.
She asked me a lot of questions about Germany and Denmark, art, and the theater; and she encouraged me with a kind smile around her serious mouth when I struggled with French and paused for a moment to gather my thoughts, so I wouldn’t get completely stuck.
"Only speak," said she. "It is true that you do not speak French well. I have heard many foreigners speak my native language better; but their conversation has not been nearly as interesting as yours. I understand the sense of your words perfectly, and that is the principal thing which interests me in you."
"Just talk," she said. "It's true you don't speak French very well. I've heard many foreigners speak my language better; but their conversations haven't been as interesting as yours. I completely understand what you're saying, and that's what really keeps me interested in you."
The last time we parted she wrote the following words in my album: "L'art c'est le vrai! J'esp re que cet aphorisme ne semblera pas paradoxal un crivain si distingu comme M. Andersen."
The last time we said goodbye, she wrote these words in my album: "Art is the truth! I hope this saying doesn’t seem paradoxical from such a distinguished writer as Mr. Andersen."
I perceived amiability of character in Alfred de Vigny. He has married an English lady, and that which is best in both nations seemed to unite in his house. The last evening which I spent in Paris, he himself, who is possessed of intellectual status and worldly wealth, came almost at midnight to my lodging in the Rue Richelieu, ascended the many steps, and brought me his works under his arm. So much cordiality beamed in his eyes and he seemed to be so full of kindness towards me, that I felt affected by our separation.
I saw a friendly nature in Alfred de Vigny. He married an English woman, and it felt like the best qualities of both cultures came together in his home. On my last night in Paris, he, who has both intellectual standing and worldly wealth, came to my place on Rue Richelieu around midnight. He climbed all those steps and brought his works tucked under his arm. There was such warmth in his eyes, and he was so kind to me that I felt touched by our parting.
I also became acquainted with the sculptor David. There was a something in his demeanor and in his straightforward manner that reminded me of Thorwaldsen and Bissen, especially of the latter. We did not meet till towards the conclusion of my residence in Paris. He lamented it, and said that he would execute a bust of me if I would remain there longer.
I also got to know the sculptor David. There was something about his demeanor and his direct manner that reminded me of Thorwaldsen and Bissen, especially Bissen. We didn’t meet until close to the end of my time in Paris. He regretted that and said he would create a bust of me if I stayed there longer.
When I said, "But you know nothing of me as a poet, and cannot tell whether I deserve it or not," he looked earnestly in my face, clapped me on the shoulder, and said, "I have, however, read you yourself before your books. You are a poet."
When I said, "But you don’t know anything about me as a poet, and you can't say if I deserve it or not," he looked me in the eye, patted me on the shoulder, and said, "I have, in fact, seen you yourself before your books. You are a poet."
At the Countess ——'s, where I met with Balzac, I saw an old lady, the expression of whose countenance attracted my attention. There was something so animated, so cordial in it, and everybody gathered about her. The Countess introduced me to her, and I heard that she was Madame Reybaud, the authoress of Les Epaves, the little story which I had made use of for my little drama of The Mulatto. I told her all about it, and of the representation of the piece, which interested her so much, that she became from this evening my especial protectress. We went out one evening together and exchanged ideas. She corrected my French and allowed me to repeat what did not appear correct to her. She is a lady of rich mental endowments, with a clear insight into the world, and she showed maternal kindness towards me.
At the Countess ——'s, where I met Balzac, I saw an older woman whose facial expression caught my eye. There was something so lively and warm about her, and everyone gathered around her. The Countess introduced me, and I learned that she was Madame Reybaud, the author of Les Epaves, the short story I had drawn from for my little drama The Mulatto. I told her all about it, including the performance, which piqued her interest so much that she became my special supporter from that evening on. We went out together one night and shared ideas. She corrected my French and let me repeat phrases that didn’t seem right to her. She is a woman of great intellect, with a clear understanding of the world, and she showed me a kind of maternal care.
I also again met with Heine. He had married since I was last here. I found him in indifferent health; but full of energy, and so friendly and so natural in his behavior towards me, that I felt no timidity in exhibiting myself to him as I was. One day he had been relating to his wife my story of the Constant Tin Soldier, and, whilst he said that I was the author of this story, he introduced me to her. She was a lively, pretty young lady. A troop of children, who, as Heine says, belonged to a neighbor, played about in their room. We two played with them whilst Heine copied out one of his last poems for me.
I met up with Heine again. He had gotten married since my last visit. I found him in mediocre health, but he was full of energy and so friendly and natural in his behavior towards me that I didn’t feel shy about being myself around him. One day, he was telling his wife my story about the Constant Tin Soldier, and while he mentioned that I was the author of it, he introduced me to her. She was a lively, pretty young woman. A group of children, who, as Heine mentioned, belonged to a neighbor, were playing in their room. We both joined in playing with them while Heine copied down one of his latest poems for me.
I perceived in him no pain-giving, sarcastic smile; I only heard the pulsation of a German heart, which is always perceptible in the songs, and which must live.
I didn't see any pain-inflicting, sarcastic smile on him; I just heard the rhythmic beat of a German heart, which is always noticeable in the songs, and which must endure.
Through the means of the many people I was acquainted with here, among whom I might enumerate many others, as, for instance, Kalkbrenner, Gathy, &c., my residence in Paris was made very cheerful and rich in pleasure. I did not feel myself like a stranger there: I met with a friendly reception among the greatest and best. It was like a payment by anticipation of the talent which was in me, and through which they expected that I would some time prove them not to have been mistaken.
Through the many people I knew here, including several others like Kalkbrenner, Gathy, etc., my time in Paris was very enjoyable and filled with pleasure. I didn’t feel like a stranger there; I received a warm welcome from some of the greatest and best. It felt like a reward in advance for the talent I had, and they expected that I would eventually show them they weren't wrong in their belief.
Whilst I was in Paris, I received from Germany, where already several of my works were translated and read, a delightful and encouraging proof of friendship. A German family, one of the most highly cultivated and amiable with whom I am acquainted, had read my writings with interest, especially the little biographical sketch prefixed to Only a Fiddler, and felt the heartiest goodwill towards me, with whom they were then not personally acquainted. They wrote to me, expressed their thanks for my works and the pleasure they had derived from them, and offered me a kind welcome to their house if I would visit it on my return home. There was a something extremely cordial and natural in this letter, which was the first that I received of this kind in Paris, and it also formed a remarkable contrast to that which was sent to me from my native land in the year 1833, when I was here for the first time.
While I was in Paris, I got a wonderful and encouraging sign of friendship from Germany, where several of my works had already been translated and read. A German family, among the most cultured and kind people I know, had taken an interest in my writings, especially the short biography included in Only a Fiddler. They felt a genuine goodwill towards me, even though we had never met in person. They wrote to me, thanked me for my works and shared the joy they found in them, inviting me to visit their home when I returned. There was something incredibly warm and natural in this letter, which was the first of its kind I received in Paris, and it stood in stark contrast to the one I got from my home country in 1833 when I was here for the first time.
In this way I found myself, through my writings, adopted, as it were, into a family to which since then I gladly betake myself, and where I know that it is not only as the poet, but as the man, that I am beloved. In how many instances have I not experienced the same kindness in foreign countries! I will mention one for the sake of its peculiarity.
In this way, I discovered that through my writing, I was welcomed into a sort of family that I gladly return to, where I know I am appreciated not just as a poet, but as a person. How often have I experienced the same kindness in other countries! I'll share one example because it's unique.
There lived in Saxony a wealthy and benevolent family; the lady of the house read my romance of Only a Fiddler, and the impression of this book was such that she vowed that, if ever, in the course of her life, she should meet with a poor child which was possessed of great musical talents, she would not allow it to perish as the poor Fiddler had done. A musician who had heard her say this, brought to her soon after, not one, but two poor boys, assuring her of their talent, and reminding her of her promise. She kept her word: both boys were received into her house, were educated by her, and are now in the Conservatorium; the youngest of them played before me, and I saw that his countenance was happy and joyful. The same thing perhaps might have happened; the same excellent lady might have befriended these children without my book having been written: but notwithstanding this, my book is now connected with this as a link in the chain.
There was a wealthy and kind family in Saxony. The lady of the house read my novel "Only a Fiddler," and it made such an impression on her that she promised that if she ever met a poor child with great musical talent, she wouldn’t let them suffer like the poor Fiddler had. A musician who heard her say this soon brought her not one, but two poor boys, assuring her of their talent and reminding her of her promise. She kept her word: both boys were welcomed into her home, educated by her, and are now at the Conservatorium. The youngest even played for me, and I could see he was happy and joyful. It’s possible that this wonderful lady would have helped these children even if my book hadn’t been written. Still, despite this, my book is now connected to their story as a link in the chain.
On my return home from Paris, I went along the Rhine; I knew that the poet Frieligrath, to whom the King of Prussia had given a pension, was residing in one of the Rhine towns. The picturesque character of his poems had delighted me extremely, and I wished to talk with him. I stopped at several towns on the Rhine, and inquired after him. In St. Goar, I was shown the house in which he lived. I found him sitting at his writing table, and he appeared annoyed at being disturbed by a stranger. I did not mention my name; but merely said that I could not pass St. Goar without paying my respects to the poet Frieligrath.
On my way back home from Paris, I traveled along the Rhine; I knew that the poet Frieligrath, who had been given a pension by the King of Prussia, was living in one of the Rhine towns. I had really enjoyed the vivid nature of his poems, and I wanted to chat with him. I stopped at several towns along the Rhine and asked about him. In St. Goar, I was shown the house where he lived. I found him sitting at his writing desk, and he seemed irritated to be interrupted by a stranger. I didn’t mention my name but simply said that I couldn’t pass through St. Goar without paying my respects to the poet Frieligrath.
"That is very kind of you," said he, in a very cold tone; and then asked who I was.
"That’s really nice of you," he said in a very cold tone; then he asked who I was.
"We have both of us one and the same friend, Chamisso!" replied I, and at these words he leapt up exultantly.
"We both have the same friend, Chamisso!" I replied, and at these words, he jumped up joyfully.
"You are then Andersen!" he exclaimed; threw his arms around my neck, and his honest eyes beamed with joy.
"You are Andersen!" he shouted, wrapping his arms around my neck, and his genuine eyes lit up with happiness.
"Now you will stop several days here," said he. I told him that I could only stay a couple of hours, because I was travelling with some of my countrymen who were waiting for me.
"Now you'll be staying here for a few days," he said. I told him that I could only stay for a couple of hours because I was traveling with some of my fellow countrymen who were waiting for me.
"You have a great many friends in little St. Goar," said he; "it is but a short time since I read aloud your novel of O. T. to a large circle; one of these friends I must, at all events, fetch here, and you must also see my wife. Yes, indeed, you do not know that you had something to do in our being married."
"You have a lot of friends in little St. Goar," he said; "recently, I read your novel O. T. aloud to a big group; I really need to bring one of those friends here, and you should also meet my wife. Yes, you don’t even know that you played a part in our getting married."
He then related to me how my novel, Only a Fiddler, had caused them to exchange letters, and then led to their acquaintance, which acquaintance had ended in their being a married couple. He called her, mentioned to her my name, and I was regarded as an old friend. Such moments as these are a blessing; a mercy of God, a happiness—and how many such, how various, have I not enjoyed!
He then told me how my novel, Only a Fiddler, had prompted them to start exchanging letters, which eventually led to their meeting and ultimately resulted in their marriage. He called her, mentioned my name, and I was seen as an old friend. Moments like these are a blessing; a gift from God, a joy—and how many of these, in all their variety, have I enjoyed!
I relate all these, to me, joyful occurrences; they are facts in my life: I relate them, as I formerly have related that which was miserable, humiliating, and depressing; and if I have done so, in the spirit which operated in my soul, it will not be called pride or vanity;—neither of them would assuredly be the proper name for it. But people may perhaps ask at home, Has Andersen then never been attacked in foreign countries? I must reply,—no!
I’m sharing all these joyful events; they are facts in my life: I share them, just like I used to share the things that were miserable, humiliating, and depressing; and if I’ve done so in the spirit that was within me, it shouldn’t be called pride or vanity;—neither of those would really be the right term for it. But people might ask at home, Has Andersen never been attacked in foreign countries? I have to say,—no!
No regular attack has been made upon me, at least they have never at home called my attention to any such, and therefore there certainly cannot have been anything of the kind;—with the exception of one which made its appearance in Germany, but which originated in Denmark, at the very moment when I was in Paris.
No regular attack has been made against me; at least, no one has ever mentioned anything like that at home, so it probably didn’t happen. The only exception was one that came up in Germany, but it started in Denmark, right when I was in Paris.
A certain Mr. Boas made a journey at that time through Scandinavia, and wrote a book on the subject. In this he gave a sort of survey of Danish literature, which he also published in the journal called Die Grenzboten; in this I was very severely handled as a man and as a poet. Several other Danish poets also, as for instance, Christian Winter, have an equally great right to complain. Mr. Boas had drawn his information out of the miserable gossip of every-day life; his work excited attention in Copenhagen, and nobody there would allow themselves to be considered as his informants; nay even Holst the poet, who, as may be seen from the work, travelled with him through Sweden, and had received him at his house in Copenhagen, on this occasion published, in one of the most widely circulated of our papers, a declaration that he was in no way connected with Mr. Boas.
A certain Mr. Boas traveled through Scandinavia at that time and wrote a book about it. In this book, he provided an overview of Danish literature, which he also published in the journal called Die Grenzboten; in it, he criticized me harshly as both a person and a poet. Several other Danish poets, like Christian Winter, have just as much reason to be upset. Mr. Boas based his information on the petty gossip of everyday life; his work garnered attention in Copenhagen, and no one there would admit to being his source. Even Holst, the poet who, as shown in the work, traveled with him through Sweden and hosted him in his home in Copenhagen, published a statement in one of our most popular newspapers denying any connection to Mr. Boas.
Mr. Boas had in Copenhagen attached himself to a particular clique consisting of a few young men; he had heard them full of lively spirits, talking during the day, of the Danish poets and their writings; he had then gone home, written down what he had heard and afterwards published it in his work. This was, to use the mildest term, inconsiderate. That my Improvisatore and Only a Fiddler did not please him, is a matter of taste, and to that I must submit myself. But when he, before the whole of Germany, where probably people will presume that what he has written is true, if he declare it to be, as is the case, the universal judgment against me in my native land; when he, I say, declared me before the whole of Germany, to be the most haughty of men, he inflicts upon me a deeper wound than he perhaps imagined. He conveyed the voice of a party, formerly hostile to me, into foreign countries. Nor is he true even in that which he represents; he gives circumstances as facts, which never took place.
Mr. Boas had in Copenhagen connected himself with a certain group of young men; he heard them chatting enthusiastically during the day about Danish poets and their works. He then went home, wrote down what he had heard, and later published it in his work. This was, to say the least, thoughtless. The fact that my Improvisatore and Only a Fiddler didn’t appeal to him is a matter of personal taste, and I have to accept that. But when he publicly declared me to be the most arrogant man before all of Germany, where people will likely take his word as truth since he claims it reflects the universal opinion against me in my home country; when he did that, he inflicted a deeper wound on me than he probably realized. He carried the voice of a group that was once hostile to me into other countries. And he isn’t even accurate in what he claims; he presents situations as facts that never actually happened.
In Denmark what he has written could not injure me, and many have declared themselves afraid of coming into contact with any one, who printed everything which he heard. His book was read in Germany, the public of which is now also mine; and I believe, therefore, that I may here say how faulty is his view of Danish literature and Danish poets; in what manner his book was received in my native land and that people there know in what way it was put together. But after I have expressed myself thus on this subject I will gladly offer Mr. Boas my hand; and if, in his next visit to Denmark, no other poet will receive him, I will do my utmost for him; I know that he will not be able to judge me more severely when we know each other, than when we knew each other not. His judgment would also have been quite of another character had he come to Denmark but one year later; things changed very much in a year's time. Then the tide had turned in my favor; I then had published my new children's stories, of which from that moment to the present there prevailed, through the whole of my native land, but one unchanging honorable opinion. When the edition of my collection of stories came out at Christmas 1843, the reaction began; acknowledgment of my merits were made, and favor shown me in Denmark, and from that time I have no cause for complaint. I have obtained and I obtain in my own land that which I deserve, nay perhaps, much more.
In Denmark, what he has written can't hurt me, and many people have said they're afraid to interact with anyone who shares everything they hear. His book was read in Germany, which is now also my audience; therefore, I believe I can point out how mistaken his views are on Danish literature and poets, as well as how his book was received in my homeland, where people know how it was crafted. However, after sharing my thoughts on this topic, I will gladly extend my hand to Mr. Boas; if no other poet welcomes him on his next visit to Denmark, I will do my best for him. I know he won’t judge me any more harshly once we know each other than he did when we were strangers. His opinion would have been different if he had arrived in Denmark just one year later; things changed a lot in just a year. By then, the tide had turned in my favor; I had published my new children's stories, and since that moment, there has been a consistent, positive opinion of me throughout my homeland. When my collection of stories was released at Christmas 1843, the response started; my contributions were acknowledged, and I received favor in Denmark, and since then, I have no complaints. I have received what I deserve in my own country, perhaps even more.
I will now turn to those little stories which in Denmark have been placed by every one, without any hesitation, higher than anything else I had hitherto written.
I will now focus on those short stories that everyone in Denmark has ranked above anything else I’ve written so far, without any doubt.
In the year 1835, some months after I published the Improvisatore, I brought out my first volume of Stories for Children, [Footnote: I find it very difficult to give a correct translation of the original word. The Danish is Eventyr, equivalent to the German Abentheur, or adventure; but adventures give in English a very different idea to this class of stories. The German word M rchen, gives the meaning completely, and this we may English by fairy tale or legend, but then neither of these words are fully correct with regard to Andersen's stories. In my translation of his "Eventyr fortalte for Born," I gave as an equivalent title, "Wonderful Stories for Children," and perhaps this near as I could come.—M. H.] which at that time was not so very much thought of. One monthly critical journal even complained that a young author who had just published a work like the Improvisatore, should immediately come out with anything so childish as the tales. I reaped a harvest of blame, precisely where people ought to have acknowledged the advantage of my mind producing something in a new direction. Several of my friends, whose judgment was of value to me, counselled me entirely to abstain from writing tales, as these were a something for which I had no talent. Others were of opinion that I had better, first of all, study the French fairy tale. I would willingly have discontinued writing them, but they forced themselves from me.
In 1835, a few months after I published the Improvisatore, I released my first collection of Stories for Children, [Footnote: I find it very difficult to give a correct translation of the original word. The Danish is Eventyr, equivalent to the German Abentheur, or adventure; but adventures give in English a very different idea to this class of stories. The German word M rchen, gives the meaning completely, and this we may English by fairy tale or legend, but then neither of these words are fully correct with regard to Andersen's stories. In my translation of his "Eventyr fortalte for Born," I gave as an equivalent title, "Wonderful Stories for Children," and perhaps this is as close as I could get.—M. H.] which at that time wasn’t very well received. One monthly review even criticized that a young author who had just released a work like the Improvisatore should immediately publish something as childish as these tales. I faced a lot of criticism from people who should have recognized the benefit of my creativity moving in a new direction. Several of my friends, whose opinions mattered to me, advised me to completely stop writing tales, claiming I had no talent for them. Others suggested that I should first study the French fairy tale. I would have been happy to stop writing them, but they just kept coming out of me.
In the volume which I first published, I had, like Mus us, but in my own manner, related old stories, which I had heard as a child. The volume concluded with one which was original, and which seemed to have given the greatest pleasure, although it bore a tolerably near affinity to a story of Hoffman's. In my increasing disposition for children's stories, I therefore followed my own impulse, and invented them mostly myself. In the following year a new volume came out, and soon after that a third, in which the longest story, The Little Mermaid, was my own invention. This story, in an especial manner, created an interest which was only increased by the following volumes. One of these came out every Christmas, and before long no Christmas tree could exist without my stones.
In the first book I published, I, like Mus us, shared old stories I had heard as a child, but in my own way. The book ended with an original tale that seemed to be the most enjoyable, even though it was somewhat similar to a story by Hoffman. With my growing interest in children's stories, I followed my instincts and mostly created them myself. The next year, I released a new volume, and shortly after, a third one, which included my longest story, The Little Mermaid. This particular story sparked a lot of interest, which continued to grow with each new volume. One of these was released every Christmas, and soon enough, no Christmas tree was complete without my stories.
Some of our first comic actors made the attempt of relating my little stories from the stage; it was a complete change from the declamatory poetry which had been heard to satiety. The Constant Tin Soldier, therefore, the Swineherd, and the Top and Ball, were told from the Royal stage, and from those of private theatres, and were well received. In order that the reader might be placed in the proper point of view, with regard to the manner in which I told the stories, I had called my first volume Stories told for Children. I had written my narrative down upon paper, exactly in the language, and with the expressions in which I had myself related them, by word of mouth, to the little ones, and I had arrived at the conviction that people of different ages were equally amused with them. The children made themselves merry for the most part over what might be called the actors, older people, on the contrary, were interested in the deeper meaning. The stories furnished reading for children and grown people, and that assuredly is a difficult task for those who will write children's stories. They met with open doors and open hearts in Denmark; everybody read them. I now removed the words "told for children," from my title, and published three volumes of "New Stories," all of which were of my own invention, and which were received in my own country with the greatest favor. I could not wish it greater; I felt a real anxiety in consequence, a fear of not being able to justify afterwards such an honorable award of praise.
Some of our first comic actors tried to share my little stories on stage; it was a complete shift from the overly dramatic poetry that had been heard too much. The Constant Tin Soldier, the Swineherd, and the Top and Ball were told from the Royal stage and various private theaters, and they were well received. To help the reader understand how I presented the stories, I had titled my first volume Stories Told for Children. I wrote down my narrative exactly as I had spoken it to the little ones, using the same language and expressions. I became convinced that people of all ages enjoyed them equally. The children mostly laughed at what could be called the actors, while older people were intrigued by the deeper meaning. The stories provided reading material for both kids and adults, which is definitely a tough challenge for anyone writing children’s stories. They found open doors and warm hearts in Denmark; everyone read them. I then removed the words "told for children" from my title and published three volumes of "New Stories," all of which were entirely my own creation, and they were warmly welcomed in my country. I couldn't have hoped for more; I felt genuinely anxious about living up to such an honorable recognition.
A refreshing sunshine streamed into my heart; I felt courage and joy, and was filled, with a living desire of still more and more developing my powers in this direction,—of studying more thoroughly this class of writing, and of observing still more attentively the rich wells of nature out of which I must create it. If attention be paid to the order in which my stories are written, it certainly will be seen that there is in them a gradual progression, a clearer working out of the idea, a greater discretion in the use of agency, and, if I may so speak, a more healthy tone and a more natural freshness may be perceived.
A refreshing light filled my heart; I felt brave and happy, and I was driven by a strong desire to keep developing my abilities in this area— to study this type of writing more deeply and to observe the abundant sources of nature that I need to draw from. If you look at the order in which my stories are written, you'll definitely see a gradual development, a clearer expression of ideas, a more thoughtful use of characters, and, if I can put it this way, a healthier tone and a more natural freshness.
At this period of my life, I made an acquaintance which was of great moral and intellectual importance to me. I have already spoken of several persons and public characters who have had influence on me as the poet; but none of these have had more, nor in a nobler sense of the word, than the lady to whom I here turn myself; she, through whom I, at the same time, was enabled to forget my own individual self, to feel that which is holy in art, and to become acquainted with the command which God has given to genius.
At this point in my life, I made a connection that was really significant for me both morally and intellectually. I’ve already mentioned several people and public figures who have influenced me as a poet, but none have impacted me more profoundly or in a more meaningful way than the woman I’m talking about here. She helped me not only to forget my own personal struggles but also to appreciate the sacredness of art and to understand the directive that God has given to creativity.
I now turn back to the year 1840. One day in the hotel in which I lived in Copenhagen, I saw the name of Jenny Lind among those of the strangers from Sweden. I was aware at that time that she was the first singer in Stockholm. I had been that same year, in this neighbor country, and had there met with honor and kindness: I thought, therefore, that it would not be unbecoming in me to pay a visit to the young artist. She was, at this time, entirely unknown out of Sweden, so that I was convinced that, even in Copenhagen, her name was known only by few. She received me very courteously, but yet distantly, almost coldly. She was, as she said, on a journey with her father to South Sweden, and was come over to Copenhagen for a few days in order that she might see this city. We again parted distantly, and I had the impression of a very ordinary character which soon passed away from my mind.
I now look back to the year 1840. One day at the hotel where I was staying in Copenhagen, I noticed Jenny Lind's name among those of visitors from Sweden. At that time, I knew she was the top singer in Stockholm. I had been in that neighboring country earlier that year and had received honor and kindness there, so I thought it wouldn’t be inappropriate for me to pay a visit to the young artist. She was completely unknown outside of Sweden at this point, so I figured that even in Copenhagen, only a few people would recognize her name. She welcomed me politely but with a certain distance, almost coldness. She mentioned that she was traveling with her father to southern Sweden and had come to Copenhagen for a few days to see the city. We parted ways again somewhat distantly, and I was left with the impression of someone very ordinary, which soon faded from my mind.
In the autumn of 1843, Jenny Lind came again to Copenhagen. One of my friends, our clever ballet-master, Bournonville, who has married a Swedish lady, a friend of Jenny Lind, informed me of her arrival here and told me that she remembered me very kindly, and that now she had read my writings. He entreated me to go with him to her, and to employ all my persuasive art to induce her to take a few parts at the Theatre Royal; I should, he said, be then quite enchanted with what I should hear.
In the autumn of 1843, Jenny Lind returned to Copenhagen. One of my friends, our talented ballet master, Bournonville, who has married a Swedish woman, a friend of Jenny Lind, let me know she was here and mentioned that she remembered me fondly and had read my writings. He urged me to join him in visiting her and to use all my charm to convince her to take on a few roles at the Theatre Royal; he said I would be completely thrilled by what I would hear.
I was not now received as a stranger; she cordially extended to me her hand, and spoke of my writings and of Miss Fredrika Bremer, who also was her affectionate friend. The conversation was soon turned to her appearance in Copenhagen, and of this Jenny Lind declared that she stood in fear.
I was no longer treated as a stranger; she warmly offered me her hand and talked about my writings and Miss Fredrika Bremer, who was also her dear friend. The conversation quickly shifted to her performance in Copenhagen, and Jenny Lind admitted that she was anxious about it.
"I have never made my appearance," said she, "out of Sweden; everybody in my native land is so affectionate and kind to me, and if I made my appearance in Copenhagen and should be hissed!—I dare not venture on it!"
"I've never shown myself outside of Sweden," she said. "Everyone in my home country is so loving and kind to me, and if I went to Copenhagen and got booed!—I can't risk it!"
I said, that I, it was true, could not pass judgment on her singing, because I had never heard it, neither did I know how she acted, but nevertheless, I was convinced that such was the disposition at this moment in Copenhagen, that only a moderate voice and some knowledge of acting would be successful; I believed that she might safely venture.
I said that, while it was true I couldn't judge her singing because I had never heard it and didn't know how she performed, I was still convinced that, at this moment in Copenhagen, only a decent voice and some acting skills would succeed; I thought she could confidently give it a try.
Bournonville's persuasion obtained for the Copenhageners the greatest enjoyment which they ever had.
Bournonville's influence provided the people of Copenhagen with the greatest enjoyment they ever experienced.
Jenny Lind made her first appearance among them as Alice in Robert le Diable—it was like a new revelation in the realms of art, the youthfully fresh voice forced itself into every heart; here reigned truth and nature; everything was full of meaning and intelligence. At one concert Jenny Lind sang her Swedish songs; there was something so peculiar in this, so bewitching; people thought nothing about the concert room; the popular melodies uttered by a being so purely feminine, and bearing the universal stamp of genius, exercised their omnipotent sway—the whole of Copenhagen was in raptures. Jenny Lind was the first singer to whom the Danish students gave a serenade: torches blazed around the hospitable villa where the serenade was given: she expressed her thanks by again singing some Swedish songs, and I then saw her hasten into the darkest corner and weep for emotion.
Jenny Lind made her first appearance among them as Alice in Robert le Diable—it was like a fresh revelation in the art world; her youthful, fresh voice captivated everyone’s heart. Here, truth and nature prevailed; everything was full of meaning and intelligence. At one concert, Jenny Lind sang her Swedish songs; there was something so unique about it, so enchanting; people forgot all about the concert hall; the popular melodies sung by someone so purely feminine, and carrying the universal mark of genius, had an undeniable power—Copenhagen was completely captivated. Jenny Lind was the first singer to receive a serenade from the Danish students: torches lit up the welcoming villa where the serenade took place. She thanked them by singing more Swedish songs, and I then saw her rush into a dark corner and cry from emotion.
"Yes, yes," said she, "I will exert myself; I will endeavor, I will be better qualified than I am when I again come to Copenhagen."
"Yes, yes," she said, "I will push myself; I will try harder, I will be more qualified than I am when I come back to Copenhagen."
On the stage, she was the great artiste, who rose above all those around her; at home, in her own chamber, a sensitive young girl with all the humility and piety of a child.
On stage, she was the great artist, standing out from everyone around her; at home, in her own room, she was a sensitive young girl with all the humility and innocence of a child.
Her appearance in Copenhagen made an epoch in the history of our opera; it showed me art in its sanctity—I had beheld one of its vestals. She journeyed back to Stockholm, and from there Fredrika Bremer wrote to me:—"With regard to Jenny Lind as a singer, we are both of us perfectly agreed; she stands as high as any artist of our time can stand; but as yet you do not know her in her full greatness. Speak to her about her art, and you will wonder at the expansion of her mind, and will see her countenance beaming with inspiration. Converse then with her of God, and of the holiness of religion, and you will see tears in those innocent eyes; she is great as an artist, but she is still greater in her pure human existence!"
Her appearance in Copenhagen marked a turning point in the history of our opera; it revealed to me art in its true essence—I had witnessed one of its sacred figures. She traveled back to Stockholm, and from there Fredrika Bremer wrote to me:—"When it comes to Jenny Lind as a singer, we completely agree; she ranks among the highest artists of our time; but you still haven't seen her in all her glory. Talk to her about her art, and you’ll be amazed by the depth of her understanding, and you’ll see her face light up with inspiration. Then discuss God and the sanctity of faith, and you'll see tears in those innocent eyes; she’s remarkable as an artist, but she’s even more impressive in her pure human spirit!"
In the following year I was in Berlin; the conversation with Meyerbeer turned upon Jenny Lind; he had heard her sing the Swedish songs, and was transported by them.
In the following year, I was in Berlin; the conversation with Meyerbeer shifted to Jenny Lind; he had heard her perform the Swedish songs and was mesmerized by them.
"But how does she act?" asked he.
"But how does she behave?" he asked.
I spoke in raptures of her acting, and gave him at the same time some idea of her representation of Alice. He said to me that perhaps it might be possible for him to determine her to come to Berlin.
I enthusiastically praised her acting and shared with him some details about her portrayal of Alice. He mentioned that it might be possible for him to convince her to come to Berlin.
It is sufficiently well known that she made her appearance there, threw every one into astonishment and delight, and won for herself in Germany a European name. Last autumn she came again to Copenhagen, and the enthusiasm was incredible; the glory of renown makes genius perceptible to every one. People bivouacked regularly before the theatre, to obtain a ticket. Jenny Lind appeared still greater than ever in her art, because they had an opportunity of seeing her in many and such extremely different parts. Her Norma is plastic; every attitude might serve as the most beautiful model to a sculptor, and yet people felt that these were the inspiration of the moment, and had not been studied before the glass; Norma is no raving Italian; she is the suffering, sorrowing woman—the woman possessed of a heart to sacrifice herself for an unfortunate rival—the woman to whom, in the violence of the moment, the thought may suggest itself of murdering the children of a faithless lover, but who is immediately disarmed when she gazes into the eyes of the innocent ones.
It's well known that she made her appearance there, surprising and delighting everyone, and earned a European reputation in Germany. Last autumn, she returned to Copenhagen, and the excitement was unbelievable; the glory of fame makes talent noticeable to all. People camped out regularly in front of the theater to get a ticket. Jenny Lind shone even brighter than before in her performances because they had the chance to see her in many extremely different roles. Her Norma is captivating; every pose could serve as the most beautiful model for a sculptor, and yet people sensed that these were inspired moments, not practiced in front of a mirror. Norma is not a raving Italian; she is the suffering, grieving woman—the woman who has the heart to sacrifice herself for a less fortunate rival—the woman who, in a moment of rage, might contemplate murdering the children of a faithless lover but is immediately disarmed when she looks into the eyes of the innocent ones.
"Norma, thou holy priestess," sings the chorus, and Jenny Lind has comprehended and shows to us this holy priestess in the aria, Casta diva. In Copenhagen she sang all her parts in Swedish, and the other singers sang theirs in Danish, and the two kindred languages mingled very beautifully together; there was no jarring; even in the Daughter of the Regiment where there is a deal of dialogue, the Swedish had something agreeable—and what acting! nay, the word itself is a contradiction—it was nature; anything as true never before appeared on the stage. She shows us perfectly the true child of nature grown up in the camp, but an inborn nobility pervades every movement. The Daughter of the Regiment and the Somnambule are certainly Jenny Land's most unsurpassable parts; no second can take their places in these beside her. People laugh,—they cry; it does them as much good as going to church; they become better for it. People feel that God is in art; and where God stands before us face to face there is a holy church.
"Norma, you holy priestess," sings the chorus, and Jenny Lind understands and presents to us this holy priestess in the aria, Casta diva. In Copenhagen, she sang all her parts in Swedish, while the other singers performed theirs in Danish, and the two closely related languages blended beautifully together; there was no clash. Even in the Daughter of the Regiment, where there is a lot of dialogue, the Swedish sounded pleasant—and the acting! No, calling it acting feels like a contradiction—it was pure nature; nothing so authentic has appeared on stage before. She perfectly embodies the true child of nature raised in the camp, yet an inherent nobility suffuses every movement. The Daughter of the Regiment and the Somnambule are undoubtedly Jenny Lind's most unbeatable roles; no one else can replace her in these. People laugh; they cry; it does them as much good as going to church; they come away better for it. People sense that God is present in art; and where God stands before us face to face, there is a sacred space.
"There will not in a whole century," said Mendelssohn, speaking to me of Jenny Lind, "be born another being so gifted as she;" and his words expressed my full conviction; one feels as she makes her appearance on the stage, that she is a pure vessel, from which a holy draught will be presented to us.
"There won't be another talent like hers for a hundred years," Mendelssohn said to me about Jenny Lind, "and I completely agree." You can truly feel it when she steps onto the stage—she's like a pure vessel, ready to share something special with us.
There is not anything which can lessen the impression which Jenny Lind's greatness on the stage makes, except her own personal character at home. An intelligent and child-like disposition exercises here its astonishing power; she is happy; belonging, as it were, no longer to the world, a peaceful, quiet home, is the object of her thoughts—and yet she loves art with her whole soul, and feels her vocation in it. A noble, pious disposition like hers cannot be spoiled by homage. On one occasion only did I hear her express her joy in her talent and her self-consciousness. It was during her last residence in Copenhagen. Almost every evening she appeared either in the opera or at concerts; every hour was in requisition. She heard of a society, the object of which was, to assist unfortunate children, and to take them out of the hands of their parents by whom they were misused, and compelled either to beg or steal, and to place them in other and better circumstances. Benevolent people subscribed annually a small sum each for their support, nevertheless the means for this excellent purpose were small.
There’s nothing that can diminish the impact of Jenny Lind’s greatness on stage, except for her own character at home. Her intelligent and child-like nature has a remarkable influence; she is happy, feeling like she no longer belongs to the outside world. Instead, her thoughts are on a peaceful, quiet home—and yet she wholeheartedly loves her art and feels called to it. A noble, kind-hearted person like her can't be spoiled by admiration. I only heard her express her joy in her talent and self-awareness once. It was during her last stay in Copenhagen. Almost every evening, she performed in either the opera or concerts; every hour was filled with engagements. She learned about a charity aimed at helping unfortunate children, rescuing them from neglectful parents who forced them to beg or steal, and placing them in better circumstances. Kind-hearted individuals subscribed a small annual amount to support this cause, but the funds for such an important mission were limited.
"But have I not still a disengaged evening?" said she; "let me give a night's performance for the benefit of these poor children; but we will have double prices!"
"But don't I still have a free evening?" she said. "Let me put on a show for the benefit of these poor kids; but we'll charge double!"
Such a performance was given, and returned large proceeds; when she was informed of this, and, that by this means, a number of poor children would be benefited for several years, her countenance beamed, and the tears filled her eyes.
Such a performance took place and brought in a lot of money; when she learned about it and that, as a result, many needy children would benefit for several years, her face lit up, and tears filled her eyes.
"It is however beautiful," said she, "that I can sing so!"
"It’s really beautiful," she said, "that I can sing like this!"
I value her with the whole feeling of a brother, and I regard myself as happy that I know and understand such a spirit. God give to her that peace, that quiet happiness which she wishes for herself!
I cherish her like a brother, and I'm grateful to know and understand such a wonderful person. May God grant her the peace and quiet happiness that she longs for!
Through Jenny Lind I first became sensible of the holiness there is in art; through her I learned that one must forget oneself in the service of the Supreme. No books, no men have had a better or a more ennobling influence on me as the poet, than Jenny Lind, and I therefore have spoken of her so long and so warmly here.
Through Jenny Lind, I first realized the sacredness of art; through her, I learned that you must put aside your own interests in the service of the greater good. No books or people have had a better or more uplifting influence on me than the artist Jenny Lind, and that's why I've talked about her for so long and with such passion here.
I have made the happy discovery by experience, that inasmuch as art and life are more clearly understood by me, so much more sunshine from without has streamed into my soul. What blessings have not compensated me for the former dark days! Repose and certainty have forced themselves into my heart. Such repose can easily unite itself with the changing life of travel; I feel myself everywhere at home, attach myself easily to people, and they give me in return confidence and cordiality.
I’ve happily discovered through experience that the more I understand art and life, the more light from the outside world shines into my soul. What blessings have made up for the dark days I’ve had! Peace and certainty have settled in my heart. This peace can easily blend with the changing life of travel; I feel at home wherever I go, connect easily with people, and they respond with trust and warmth.
In the summer of 1844 I once more visited North Germany. An intellectual and amiable family in Oldenburg had invited me in the most friendly manner to spend some time at their house. Count von Rantzau-Breitenburg repeated also in his letters how welcome I should be to him. I set out on the journey, and this journey was, if not one of my longest, still one of my most interesting.
In the summer of 1844, I visited North Germany again. An intelligent and friendly family in Oldenburg had warmly invited me to stay at their home. Count von Rantzau-Breitenburg also mentioned in his letters how welcome I would be to him. I began my journey, and while it wasn’t the longest I’ve taken, it was definitely one of the most interesting.
I saw the rich marsh-land in its summer luxuriance, and made with Rantzau several interesting little excursions. Breitenburg lies in the middle of woods on the river St÷r; the steam-voyage to Hamburg gives animation to the little river; the situation is picturesque, and life in the castle itself is comfortable and pleasant. I could devote myself perfectly to reading and poetry, because I was just as free as the bird in the air, and I was as much cared for as if I had been a beloved relation of the family. Alas it was the last time that I came hither; Count Rantzau had, even then, a presentiment of his approaching death. One day we met in the garden; he seized my hand, pressed it warmly, expressed his pleasure in my talents being acknowledged abroad, and his friendship for me, adding, in conclusion, "Yes, my dear young friend, God only knows but I have the firm belief that this year is the last time when we two shall meet here; my days will soon have run out their full course." He looked at me with so grave an expression, that it touched my heart deeply, but I knew not what to say. We were near to the chapel; he opened a little gate between some thick hedges, and we stood in a little garden, in which was a turfed grave and a seat beside it.
I saw the lush marshland in its summer glory and went on several interesting little trips with Rantzau. Breitenburg is located in the middle of woods by the river Stör; the steam trip to Hamburg livens up the little river; the setting is picturesque, and life in the castle is comfortable and enjoyable. I could completely immerse myself in reading and poetry because I felt as free as a bird in the sky, and I was cared for as if I were a beloved member of the family. Sadly, it was the last time I came here; Count Rantzau even had a sense of his impending death. One day, we met in the garden; he took my hand, held it warmly, expressed his happiness that my talents were recognized abroad, and shared his friendship for me, adding at the end, "Yes, my dear young friend, only God knows, but I truly believe this year is the last time we’ll meet here; my days are soon coming to an end." He looked at me with such a serious expression that it touched my heart deeply, but I didn’t know what to say. We were close to the chapel; he opened a small gate between some dense hedges, and we stepped into a little garden with a grassy grave and a seat beside it.
"Here you will find me, when you come the next time to Breitenburg," said he, and his sorrowful words were true. He died the following winter in Wiesbaden. I lost in him a friend, a protector, a noble excellent heart.
"Here you'll find me when you come back to Breitenburg," he said, and his sad words were true. He died the following winter in Wiesbaden. I lost a friend, a protector, and a really good heart in him.
When I, on the first occasion, went to Germany, I visited the Hartz and the Saxon Switzerland. Goethe was still living. It was my most heartfelt wish to see him. It was not far from the Hartz to Weimar, but I had no letters of introduction to him, and, at that time, not one line of my writings was translated. Many persons had described Goethe to me as a very proud man, and the question arose whether indeed he would receive me. I doubted it, and determined not to go to Weimar until I should have written some work which would convey my name to Germany. I succeeded in this, but alas, Goethe was already dead.
When I first went to Germany, I visited the Harz Mountains and Saxon Switzerland. Goethe was still alive, and I really wanted to meet him. It wasn’t far from the Harz to Weimar, but I didn't have any letters of introduction to him, and at that time, none of my writings had been translated. Many people had told me that Goethe was quite a proud man, and I wondered if he would actually see me. I doubted it and decided not to go to Weimar until I had written something that would make my name known in Germany. I managed to do that, but unfortunately, Goethe had already passed away.
I had made the acquaintance of his daughter-in-law Mrs. von Goethe, born at Pogwitsch, at the house of Mendelssohn Bartholdy, in Leipsig, on my return from Constantinople; this spirituelle lady received me with much kindness. She told me that her son Walter had been my friend for a long time; that as a boy he had made a whole play out of my Improvisatore; that this piece had been performed in Goethe's house; and lastly, that Walter, had once wished to go to Copenhagen to make my acquaintance. I thus had now friends in Weimar.
I had met his daughter-in-law, Mrs. von Goethe, who was originally from Pogwitsch, at Mendelssohn Bartholdy's house in Leipzig when I returned from Constantinople. This thoughtful lady welcomed me warmly. She mentioned that her son Walter had been my friend for a long time, that as a child he had created an entire play based on my Improvisatore, which had been performed at Goethe's house. She also shared that Walter had once wanted to travel to Copenhagen to meet me. So, I now had friends in Weimar.
An extraordinary desire impelled me to see this city where Goethe, Schiller, Wieland, and Herder had lived, and from which so much light had streamed forth over the world. I approached that land which had been rendered sacred by Luther, by the strife of the Minnesingers on the Wartburg, and by the memory of many noble and great events.
An incredible urge drove me to visit the city where Goethe, Schiller, Wieland, and Herder once lived, and from which so much enlightenment had spread across the world. I drew closer to that land made sacred by Luther, the battles of the Minnesingers on the Wartburg, and the memories of many noble and significant events.
On the 24th of June, the birthday of the Grand Duke, I arrived a stranger in the friendly town. Everything indicated the festivity which was then going forward, and the young prince was received with great rejoicing in the theatre, where a new opera was being given. I did not think how firmly, the most glorious and the best of all those whom I here saw around me, would grow into my heart; how many of my future friends sat around me here—how dear this city would become to me—in Germany my second home. I was invited by Goethe's worthy friend, the excellent Chancellor Muller, and I met with the most cordial reception from him. By accident I here met on my first call, with the Kammerherr Beaulieu de Marconnay, whom I had known in Oldenburg; he was now placed in Weimar. He invited me to remove to his house. In the course of a few minutes I was his stationary guest, and I felt "it is good to be here."
On June 24th, the Grand Duke's birthday, I arrived as a stranger in this welcoming town. Everything suggested a celebration was happening, and the young prince was warmly greeted at the theater, where a new opera was being performed. I didn’t realize how deeply, the most remarkable and best of all those I saw around me, would take a place in my heart; how many of my future friends were sitting nearby—how dear this city would become to me—my second home in Germany. I was invited by Goethe's esteemed friend, the wonderful Chancellor Muller, and he welcomed me with great warmth. By chance, I also ran into the Kammerherr Beaulieu de Marconnay, whom I had known in Oldenburg; he was now residing in Weimar. He invited me to stay at his home. Within a few minutes, I was his permanent guest, and I felt, "it is good to be here."
There are people whom it only requires a few days to know and to love; I won in Beaulieu, in these few days, a friend, as I believe, for my whole life. He introduced me into the family circle, the amiable chancellor received me equally cordially; and I who had, on my arrival, fancied myself quite forlorn, because Mrs. von Goethe and her son Walter were in Vienna, was now known in Weimar, and well received in all its circles.
There are people you can get to know and love in just a few days; in Beaulieu, I found a friend, I believe, for life. He welcomed me into his family, and the friendly chancellor received me just as warmly; I, who had thought I would feel completely alone upon my arrival since Mrs. von Goethe and her son Walter were in Vienna, was now recognized in Weimar and welcomed in all its social circles.
The reigning Grand Duke and Duchess gave me so gracious and kind a reception as made a deep impression upon me. After I had been presented, I was invited to dine, and soon after received an invitation to visit the hereditary Grand Duke and his lady, at the hunting seat of Ettersburg, which stands high, and close to an extensive forest. The old fashioned furniture within the house, and the distant views from the park into the Hartz mountains, produced immediately a peculiar impression. All the young peasants had assembled at the castle to celebrate the birthday of their beloved young Duke; climbing-poles, from which fluttered handkerchiefs and ribbons, were erected; fiddles sounded, and people danced merrily under the branches of the large and flowering limetrees. Sabbath splendor, contentment and happiness were diffused over the whole.
The Grand Duke and Duchess welcomed me so warmly and kindly that it left a lasting impression on me. After my introduction, I was invited to dinner, and shortly after, I received an invitation to visit the hereditary Grand Duke and his wife at their hunting lodge in Ettersburg, which is situated high up and near a vast forest. The old-fashioned furniture inside the house and the distant views of the Harz mountains from the park immediately created a unique atmosphere. All the young villagers had gathered at the castle to celebrate the birthday of their beloved young Duke; climbing poles adorned with handkerchiefs and ribbons were set up; fiddles were playing, and people danced joyfully beneath the branches of the large, flowering linden trees. The beauty of the day, along with the joy and contentment, filled the air all around.
The young andebut new married princely pair seemed to be united by true heartfelt sentiment. The heart must be able to forget the star on the breast under which it beats, if its possessor wish to remain long free and happy in a court; and such a heart, certainly one of the noblest and best which beats, is possessed by Karl Alexander of Saxe-Weimar. I had the happiness of a sufficient length of time to establish this belief. During this, my first residence here, I came several times to the happy Ettersburg. The young Duke showed me the garden and the tree on the trunk of which Goethe, Schiller, and Wieland had cut their names; nay even Jupiter himself had wished to add his to theirs, for his thunder-bolt had splintered it in one of the branches.
The young, newly married princely couple seemed to be connected by genuine feelings. To stay happy and free for a long time at court, the heart must be able to forget the star on its breast; and such a heart, undoubtedly one of the noblest and best, belongs to Karl Alexander of Saxe-Weimar. I had the pleasure of spending enough time to believe this. During my first stay here, I visited the lovely Ettersburg several times. The young Duke showed me the garden and the tree where Goethe, Schiller, and Wieland had carved their names; even Jupiter himself wanted to add his name, as his thunderbolt had splintered one of the branches.
The intellectual Mrs. von Gross (Amalia Winter), Chancellor von Muller, who was able livingly to unroll the times of Goethe and to explain his Faust, and the soundly honest and child-like minded Eckermann belonged to the circle at Ettersburg. The evenings passed like a spiritual dream; alternately some one read aloud; even I ventured, for the first time in a foreign language to me, to read one of my own tales—the Constant Tin Soldier.
The intellectual Mrs. von Gross (Amalia Winter), Chancellor von Muller, who could vividly bring to life the era of Goethe and explain his Faust, along with the genuinely honest and child-like Eckermann, were part of the group at Ettersburg. The evenings felt like a spiritual dream; at times, someone would read aloud; even I took a chance, for the first time in a foreign language, to read one of my own stories—the Constant Tin Soldier.
Chancellor von Muller accompanied me to the princely burial-place, where Karl August sleeps with his glorious wife, not between Schiller and Goethe, as I believed when I wrote—"the prince has made for himself a rainbow glory, whilst he stands between the sun and the rushing waterfall." Close beside the princely pair, who understood and valued that which was great, repose these their immortal friends. Withered laurel garlands lay upon the simple brown coffins, of which the whole magnificence consists in the immortal names of Goethe and Schiller. In life the prince and the poet walked side by side, in death they slumber under the same vault. Such a place as this is never effaced from the mind; in such a spot those quiet prayers are offered, which God alone hears.
Chancellor von Muller accompanied me to the royal burial site, where Karl August rests with his beloved wife, not between Schiller and Goethe, as I had thought when I wrote—"the prince has created a rainbow glory for himself, while he stands between the sun and the rushing waterfall." Right next to the noble couple, who appreciated and recognized greatness, lie their eternal friends. Withered laurel wreaths rested on the plain brown coffins, whose only grandeur comes from the immortal names of Goethe and Schiller. In life, the prince and the poet walked together, and in death, they lie beneath the same vault. A place like this is never forgotten; in such a spot, those quiet prayers are offered that only God hears.
I remained above eight days in Weimar; it seemed to me as if I had formerly lived in this city; as if it were a beloved home which I must now leave. As I drove out of the city, over the bridge and past the mill, and for the last time looked back to the city and the castle, a deep melancholy took hold on my soul, and it was to me as if a beautiful portion of my life here had its close; I thought that the journey, after I had left Weimar, could afford me no more pleasure. How often since that time has the carrier pigeon, and still more frequently, the mind, flown over to this place! Sunshine has streamed forth from Weimar upon my poet-life.
I stayed in Weimar for over eight days; it felt like I had lived in this city before, as if it were a cherished home I now had to leave. As I drove out of the city, over the bridge and past the mill, and took one last look back at the city and the castle, a deep sadness gripped my soul, and it felt like a beautiful chapter of my life here was coming to an end; I thought that the journey ahead, after leaving Weimar, wouldn’t bring me any more joy. How often since then have the carrier pigeon, and even more so my thoughts, flown back to this place! Sunshine has poured from Weimar into my life as a poet.
From Weimar I went to Leipzig where a truly poetical evening awaited me with Robert Schumann. This great composer had a year before surprised me by the honor of dedicating to me the music which he had composed to four of my songs; the lady of Dr. Frege whose singing, so full of soul, has pleased and enchanted so many thousands, accompanied Clara Schumann, and the composer and the poet were alone the audience: a little festive supper and a mutual interchange of ideas shortened the evening only too much. I met with the old, cordial reception at the house of Mr. Brockhaus, to which from former visits I had almost accustomed myself. The circle of my friends increased in the German cities; but the first heart is still that to which we most gladly turn again.
From Weimar, I went to Leipzig, where a truly poetic evening awaited me with Robert Schumann. This great composer had surprised me a year earlier by dedicating to me the music he had composed for four of my songs. The wife of Dr. Frege, whose soulful singing has delighted and enchanted thousands, accompanied Clara Schumann. The composer and the poet were proudly the audience: a little festive supper and a mutual exchange of ideas made the evening go by all too quickly. I received the same warm welcome at Mr. Brockhaus's house, which I had almost come to expect from my previous visits. My circle of friends expanded in the German cities, but the first heart is still the one to which we most happily return.
I found in Dresden old friends with youthful feelings; my gifted half-countryman Dahl, the Norwegian, who knows how upon canvas to make the waterfall rush foaming down, and the birch-tree to grow as in the valleys of Norway, and Vogel von Vogelstein, who did me the honor of painting my portrait, which was included in the royal collection of portraits. The theatre intendant, Herr von L ttichau, provided me every evening with a seat in the manager's box; and one of the noblest ladies, in the first circles of Dresden, the worthy Baroness von Decken, received me as a mother would receive her son. In this character I was ever afterwards received in her family and in the amiable circle of her friends.
I found old friends in Dresden who still had youthful spirits; my talented fellow countryman Dahl, the Norwegian, who knows how to capture the rush of a waterfall on canvas, and how to make birch trees grow just like they do in the valleys of Norway, and Vogel von Vogelstein, who honored me by painting my portrait, which became part of the royal portrait collection. The theater director, Herr von Lüttichau, arranged for me to have a seat in the manager's box every evening; and one of the finest ladies in Dresden's high society, the esteemed Baroness von Decken, welcomed me as a mother would welcome her son. From then on, I was always received in her family and in the lovely circle of her friends.
How bright and beautiful is the world! How good are human beings! That it is a pleasure to live becomes ever more and more clear to me. Beaulieu's younger brother Edmund, who is an officer in the army, came one day from Tharand, where he had spent the summer months. I accompanied him to various places, spent some happy days among the pleasant scenery of the hills, and was received at the same time into various families.
How bright and beautiful is the world! How good are people! It's becoming clearer and clearer to me that living is a joy. Beaulieu's younger brother Edmund, who is an officer in the army, came one day from Tharand, where he had spent the summer. I went with him to different places, enjoyed some happy days among the lovely hills, and was welcomed into several families.
I visited with the Baroness Decken, for the first time, the celebrated and clever painter Retsch, who has published the bold outlines of Goethe, Shakspeare, &c. He lives a sort of Arcadian life among lowly vineyards on the way to Meissen. Every year he makes a present to his wife, on her birthday, of a new drawing, and always one of his best; the collection has grown through a course of years to a valuable album, which she, if he die before her, is to publish. Among the many glorious ideas there, one struck me as peculiar; the Flight into Egypt. It is night; every one sleeps in the picture,—Mary, Joseph, the flowers and the shrubs, nay even the ass which carries her—all, except the child Jesus, who, with open round countenance, watches over and illumines all. I related one of my stories to him, and for this I received a lovely drawing,—a beautiful young girl hiding herself behind the mask of an old woman; thus should the eternally youthful soul, with its blooming loveliness, peep forth from behind the old mask of the fairy-tale. Retsch's pictures are rich in thought, full of beauty, and a genial spirit.
I visited the renowned and talented painter Retsch for the first time with Baroness Decken. He's the one who created the bold outlines of Goethe, Shakespeare, and others. He lives a sort of idyllic life among small vineyards on the way to Meissen. Every year, he gives his wife a new drawing for her birthday, always one of his best. Over the years, this has turned into a valuable album that she plans to publish if he passes away before her. Among the many stunning ideas in his collection, one particularly caught my attention: The Flight into Egypt. It’s nighttime in the painting; everyone is asleep—Mary, Joseph, the flowers, the shrubs, even the donkey carrying her—except for the child Jesus, who watches over everything with his bright, open face, illuminating all. I shared one of my stories with him, and in return, I received a beautiful drawing of a young girl hiding behind the mask of an old woman; it's a representation of how an eternally youthful soul reveals its blooming beauty from behind the old mask of a fairy tale. Retsch's artwork is full of thought, beauty, and a warm spirit.
I enjoyed the country-life of Germany with Major Serre and his amiable wife at their splendid residence of Maren; it is not possible for any one to exercise greater hospitality than is done by these two kind-hearted people. A circle of intelligent, interesting individuals, were here assembled; I remained among them above eight days, and there became acquainted with Kohl the traveller, and the clever authoress, the Countess Hahn-Hahn, in whom I discerned a woman by disposition and individual character in whom confidence may be placed. Where one is well received there one gladly lingers. I found myself unspeakably happy on this little journey in Germany, and became convinced that I was there no stranger. It was heart and truth to nature which people valued in my writings; and, however excellent and praiseworthy the exterior beauty may be, however imposing the maxims of this world's wisdom, still it is heart and nature which have least changed by time, and which everybody is best able to understand.
I enjoyed the rural life in Germany with Major Serre and his friendly wife at their beautiful home in Maren; no one can show more hospitality than these two kind-hearted people. A group of smart, interesting individuals gathered here; I stayed with them for over eight days, where I met the traveler Kohl and the talented author, Countess Hahn-Hahn, who I found to be a woman of great character and trustworthiness. Where you’re welcomed, you want to stay. I felt incredibly happy during this short trip in Germany and realized I wasn’t a stranger there. It was my genuine heart and connection to nature that people appreciated in my writings; and no matter how impressive external beauty or the world’s wisdom might be, it’s the authenticity and nature that have changed the least over time and that everyone can truly understand.
I returned home by way of Berlin, where I had not been for several years; but the dearest of my friends there—Chamisso, was dead.
I traveled back home through Berlin, a place I hadn't visited in several years; however, my closest friend there—Chamisso—had passed away.
The fair wild swan which flew far o'er the earth, And laid its head upon a wild-swan's breast,
The beautiful wild swan that soared high above the earth, And rested its head on another wild swan's chest,
was now flown to a more glorious hemisphere; I saw his children, who were now fatherless and motherless. From the young who here surround me, I discover that I am grown older; I feel it not in myself. Chamisso's sons, whom I saw the last time playing here in the little garden with bare necks, came now to meet me with helmet and sword: they were officers in the Prussian service. I felt in a moment how the years had rolled on, how everything was changed and how one loses so many.
was now taken to a more glorious place; I saw his children, who were now without a father and mother. From the young people around me, I realize that I have aged; I don't feel it in myself. Chamisso's sons, whom I last saw playing here in the little garden with bare necks, now came to greet me in helmets and swords: they were officers in the Prussian army. I immediately felt how the years had passed, how everything had changed, and how many people you lose along the way.
Yet is it not so hard as people deem, To see their soul's beloved from them riven; God has their dear ones, and in death they seem To form a bridge which leads them up to heaven.
Yet it's not as difficult as people think, To see their soul's beloved taken away from them; God has their loved ones, and in death they appear To create a bridge leading them up to heaven.
I met with the most cordial reception, and have since then always met with the same, in the house of the Minister Savigny, where I became acquainted with the clever, singularly gifted Bettina and her lovely spiritual-minded daughter. One hour's conversation with Bettina during which she was the chief speaker, was so rich and full of interest, that I was almost rendered dumb by all this eloquence, this firework of wit. The world knows her writings, but another talent which she is possessed of, is less generally known, namely her talent for drawing. Here again it is the ideas which astonish us. It was thus, I observed, she had treated in a sketch an accident which had occurred just before, a young man being killed by the fumes of wine. You saw him descending half-naked into the cellar, round which lay the wine casks like monsters: Bacchanals and Bacchantes danced towards him, seized their victim and destroyed him! I know that Thorwaldsen, to whom she once showed all her drawings, was in the highest degree astonished by the ideas they contained.
I received a very warm welcome, and since then, I've always experienced the same at the home of Minister Savigny, where I got to know the clever and uniquely talented Bettina and her lovely, thoughtful daughter. One hour of conversation with Bettina, during which she spoke most of the time, was so rich and captivating that I was almost left speechless by her eloquence and brilliant wit. The world is familiar with her writings, but another talent she possesses is less known—her drawing skills. It's the ideas in her art that truly amaze us. For example, I noticed how she portrayed a recent incident where a young man died from wine fumes. You see him half-dressed descending into the cellar, with wine barrels lying around like monsters: Bacchae and Bacchantes dance towards him, capturing their victim and leading to his demise! I know that Thorwaldsen, to whom she once showed all her drawings, was extremely impressed by the ideas they conveyed.
It does the heart such good when abroad to find a house, where, when immediately you enter, eyes flash like festal lamps, a house where you can take peeps into a quiet, happy domestic life—such a house is that of Professor Weiss. Yet how many new acquaintance which were found, and old acquaintance which were renewed, ought I not to mention! I met Cornelius from Rome, Schelling from Munich, my countryman I might almost call him; Steffens, the Norwegian, and once again Tieck, whom I had not seen since my first visit to Germany. He was very much altered, yet his gentle, wise eyes were the same, the shake of his hand was the same. I felt that he loved me and wished me well. I must visit him in Potsdam, where he lived in ease and comfort. At dinner I became acquainted with his brother the sculptor.
It feels so good for the heart when traveling abroad to find a home where, as soon as you step inside, the eyes light up like festive lamps—a home where you can catch glimpses of a peaceful, happy domestic life—such is the home of Professor Weiss. And how many new friends I made, and old acquaintances I renewed, that I should mention! I ran into Cornelius from Rome, Schelling from Munich, I could almost call him my countryman; Steffens, the Norwegian, and once again Tieck, whom I hadn’t seen since my first trip to Germany. He looked quite different, yet his gentle, wise eyes were the same, and the shake of his hand felt familiar. I sensed that he cared for me and wanted the best for me. I need to visit him in Potsdam, where he lived comfortably and happily. At dinner, I got to know his brother, the sculptor.
From Tieck I learnt how kindly the King and Queen of Prussia were disposed towards me; that they had read my romance of Only a Fiddler, and inquired from Tieck about me. Meantime their Majesties were absent from Berlin. I had arrived the evening before their departure, when that abominable attempt was made upon their lives.
From Tieck, I learned how kindly the King and Queen of Prussia felt about me; they had read my novel "Only a Fiddler" and had asked Tieck about me. In the meantime, their Majesties were away from Berlin. I had arrived the evening before their departure, at the time of that terrible attempt on their lives.
I returned to Copenhagen by Stettin in stormy weather, full of the joy of life, and again saw my dear friends, and in a few days set off to Count Moltke's in Funen, there to spend a few lovely summer days. I here received a letter from the Minister Count Rantzau-Breitenburg, who was with the King and Queen of Denmark at the watering-place of F÷hr. He wrote, saying that he had the pleasure of announcing to me the most gracious invitation of their Majesties to F÷hr. This island, as is well known, lies in the North Sea, not far from the coast of Sleswick, in the neighborhood of the interesting Halligs, those little islands which Biernatzky described so charmingly in his novels. Thus, in a manner wholly unexpected by me, I should see scenery of a very peculiar character even in Denmark.
I returned to Copenhagen from Stettin in rough weather, filled with the joy of life, and saw my dear friends again. A few days later, I headed to Count Moltke's in Funen to spend some lovely summer days. While I was there, I received a letter from Minister Count Rantzau-Breitenburg, who was with the King and Queen of Denmark at the resort in Fähr. He wrote to let me know that he had the pleasure of sharing the gracious invitation from their Majesties to Fähr. This island, as we know, is located in the North Sea, not far from the coast of Schleswig, near the interesting Halligs, those little islands that Biernatzky described so charmingly in his novels. So, in a way I didn’t expect, I would get to see some very unique scenery even in Denmark.
The favor of my king and Queen made me happy, and I rejoiced to be once more in close intimacy with Rantzau. Alas, it was for the last time!
The approval of my King and Queen made me happy, and I was thrilled to be close with Rantzau again. Unfortunately, it was for the last time!
It was just now five and twenty years since I, a poor lad, travelled alone and helpless to Copenhagen. Exactly the five and twentieth anniversary would be celebrated by my being with my king and queen, to whom I was faithfully attached, and whom I at that very time learned to love with my whole soul. Everything that surrounded me, man and nature, reflected themselves imperishably in my soul. I felt myself, as it were, conducted to a point from which I could look forth more distinctly over the past five and twenty years, with all the good fortune and happiness which they had evolved for me. The reality frequently surpasses the most beautiful dream.
It has been exactly twenty-five years since I, a poor boy, traveled alone and helpless to Copenhagen. I would mark the twenty-fifth anniversary by being with my king and queen, to whom I was deeply loyal and whom I had just started to love wholeheartedly. Everything around me, both people and nature, was permanently etched in my soul. I felt like I was guided to a place where I could clearly reflect on the past twenty-five years, filled with all the good fortune and happiness they had brought me. Reality often exceeds the most beautiful dream.
I travelled from Funen to Flensborg, which, lying in its great bay, is picturesque with woods and hills, and then immediately opens out into a solitary heath. Over this I travelled in the bright moonlight. The journey across the heath was tedious; the clouds only passed rapidly. We went on monotonously through the deep sand, and monotonous was the wail of a bird among the shrubby heath. Presently we reached moorlands. Long-continued rain had changed meadows and cornfields into great lakes; the embankments along which we drove were like morasses; the horses sank deeply into them. In many places the light carriage was obliged to be supported by the peasants, that it might not fall upon the cottages below the embankment. Several hours were consumed over each mile (Danish). At length the North Sea with its islands lay before me. The whole coast was an embankment, covered for miles with woven straw, against which the waves broke. I arrived at high tide. The wind was favorable, and in less than an hour I reached F÷hr, which, after my difficult journey, appeared to me like a real fairy land.
I traveled from Funen to Flensborg, which, nestled in its beautiful bay, is charming with its forests and hills, and then quickly opens up into a lonely heath. I crossed this heath under the bright moonlight. The journey across the heath was tiresome; the clouds only moved by quickly. We trudged on monotonously through the deep sand, and the sound of a bird's call among the scrubby heath was equally monotonous. Soon, we reached the moorlands. Continuous rain had turned meadows and cornfields into large lakes; the roads we traveled were like swamps, and the horses sank deeply into them. In many places, the light carriage had to be supported by the farmers to prevent it from rolling down onto the cottages below the embankment. It took several hours to cover each mile (Danish). Finally, the North Sea with its islands came into view. The entire coast was a barrier, covered for miles with woven straw, against which the waves crashed. I arrived at high tide. The wind was in my favor, and in less than an hour, I reached Föhr, which, after my challenging journey, seemed like a true fairyland.
The largest city, Wyck, in which are the baths, is exactly built like a Dutch town. The houses are only one story high, with sloping roofs and gables turned to the street. The many strangers there, and the presence of the court, gave a peculiar animation to the principal street. Well-known faces looked out from almost every house; the Danish flag waved, and music was heard. I was soon established in my quarters, and every day, until the departure of their Majesties, had I the honor of an invitation from them to dinner, as well as to pass the evening in their circle. On several evenings I read aloud my little stories (M rchen) to the king and queen, and both of them were gracious and affectionate towards me. It is so good when a noble human nature will reveal itself where otherwise only the king's crown and the purple mantle might be discovered. Few people can be more amiable in private life than their present Majesties of Denmark. May God bless them and give them joy, even as they filled my breast with happiness and sunshine!
The largest city, Wyck, where the baths are located, is built just like a Dutch town. The houses are only one story high, with sloping roofs and gables facing the street. The many visitors and the presence of the court brought a unique liveliness to the main street. Familiar faces peeked out from almost every house; the Danish flag waved, and music filled the air. I soon got settled in my accommodations, and every day, until the departure of their Majesties, I had the honor of being invited for dinner, as well as spending the evening in their company. On several evenings, I read my little stories (Märchen) aloud to the king and queen, who were both gracious and warm towards me. It’s truly wonderful when a noble spirit shines through, where one might only expect to see a king's crown and a royal robe. Few people can be more charming in their private lives than the current Majesties of Denmark. May God bless them and bring them joy, just as they filled my heart with happiness and light!
I sailed in their train to the largest of the Halligs, those grassy runes in the ocean, which bear testimony to a sunken country. The violence of the sea has changed the mainland into islands, has riven these again, and buried men and villages. Year after year are new portions rent away, and, in half a century's time, there will be nothing here but sea. The Halligs are now only low islets covered with a dark turf, on which a few flocks graze. When the sea rises these are driven into the garrets of the houses, and the waves roll over this little region, which is miles distant from the shore. Oland, which we visited, contains a little town. The houses stand closely side by side, as if, in their sore need they would all huddle together. They are all erected upon a platform, and have little windows, as in the cabin of a ship. There, in the little room, solitary through half the year, sit the wife and her daughters spinning. There, however, one always finds a little collection of books. I found books in Danish, German, and Frieslandish. The people read and work, and the sea rises round the houses, which lie like a wreck in the ocean. Sometimes, in the night, a ship, having mistaken the lights, drives on here and is stranded.
I traveled with them to the largest of the Halligs, those grassy remnants in the ocean, which show evidence of a sunken land. The destructive power of the sea has turned the mainland into islands, split them again, and buried people and villages. Year after year, new sections are torn away, and in half a century's time, there will be nothing left but sea. The Halligs are now just low islets covered with dark grass, where a few sheep graze. When the sea rises, it drives these animals into the attics of the houses, and the waves crash over this little area, which is miles from the shore. Oland, which we visited, has a small town. The houses are built closely together, as if they’re trying to huddle for warmth in their desperate situation. They’re all raised on a platform and have small windows, like those on a ship. In the small rooms, solitary for half the year, the wife and her daughters sit spinning. However, there is always a small collection of books. I found books in Danish, German, and Frisian. The people read and work, while the sea rises around the houses, which look like a wreck in the ocean. Sometimes, at night, a ship mistakes the lights and runs aground here.
In the year 1825, a tempestuous tide washed away men and houses. The people sat for days and nights half naked upon the roofs, till these gave way; nor from F÷hr nor the mainland could help be sent to them. The church-yard is half washed away; coffins and corpses were frequently exposed to view by the breakers: it is an appalling sight. And yet the inhabitants of the Halligs are attached to their little home. They cannot remain on the mainland, but are driven thence by home sickness.
In 1825, a violent tide swept away people and buildings. The locals sat for days and nights, mostly naked on their rooftops, until those gave way too; help couldn’t be sent from Föhr or the mainland. The graveyard is mostly washed away; coffins and bodies were often revealed by the waves, which is a horrifying sight. Yet, the residents of the Halligs are deeply attached to their small home. They can't stay on the mainland, as they're driven away by homesickness.
We found only one man upon the island, and he had only lately arisen from a sick bed. The others were out on long voyages. We were received by girls and women. They had erected before the church a triumphal arch with flowers which they had fetched from F÷hr; but it was so small and low, that one was obliged to go round it; nevertheless they showed by it their good will. The queen was deeply affected by their having cut down their only shrub, a rose bush, to lay over a marshy place which she would have to cross. The girls are pretty, and are dressed in a half Oriental fashion. The people trace their descent from Greeks. They wear their faces half concealed, and beneath the strips of linen which lie upon the head is placed a Greek fez, around which the hair is wound in plaits.
We found only one man on the island, and he had just recently gotten out of bed due to illness. The others were away on long voyages. We were welcomed by girls and women. They had set up a small triumphal arch made of flowers in front of the church, which they had brought from Föhr; but it was so small and low that you had to go around it. Still, it showed their good intentions. The queen was touched that they had cut down their only shrub, a rose bush, to cover a muddy spot that she had to cross. The girls are pretty and dress in a partly Eastern style. The people trace their ancestry back to the Greeks. They partially cover their faces, and under the linen strips that lie on their heads is a Greek fez, around which their hair is braided.
On our return, dinner was served on board the royal steamer; and afterwards, as we sailed in a glorious sunset through this archipelago, the deck of the vessel was changed to a dancing room. Young and old danced; servants flew hither and thither with refreshments; sailors stood upon the paddle-boxes and took the soundings, and their deep-toned voices might be heard giving the depth of the water. The moon rose round and large, and the promontory of Amrom assumed the appearance of a snow-covered chain of Alps.
On our way back, dinner was served on the royal steamer; and afterwards, as we sailed through this beautiful archipelago under a stunning sunset, the deck of the ship was transformed into a dance floor. Both young and old danced; servers hurried back and forth with snacks; sailors stood on the paddle boxes taking soundings, and their deep voices were heard reporting the water depth. The moon rose round and bright, and the promontory of Amrom looked like a snow-covered mountain range.
I visited afterwards these desolate sand hills: the king went to shoot rabbits there. Many years ago a ship was wrecked here, on board of which were two rabbits, and from this pair Amrom is now stored with thousands of their descendants. At low tide the sea recedes wholly from between Amrom and F÷hr, and then people drive across from one island to another; but still the time must be well observed and the passage accurately known, or else, when the tide comes, he who crosses will be inevitably lost. It requires only a few minutes, and then where dry land was large ships may sail. We saw a whole row of wagons driving from F÷hr to Amrom. Seen upon the white sand and against the blue horizon, they seem to be twice as large as they really were. All around were spread out, like a net, the sheets of water, as if they held firmly the extent of sand which belonged to the ocean and which would be soon overflowed by it. This promontory brings to one's memory the mounds of ashes at Vesuvius; for here one sinks at every step, the wiry moor-grass not being able to bind together the loose sand. The sun shone burningly hot between the white sand hills: it was like a journey through the deserts of Africa.
I visited these barren sand hills afterward; the king went there to hunt rabbits. Many years ago, a ship sank here carrying two rabbits, and from that pair, Amrom is now filled with thousands of their descendants. During low tide, the sea completely pulls back from between Amrom and Föhr, allowing people to drive from one island to the other. However, the timing must be carefully noted, and the route must be well-known, or else anyone who tries to cross when the tide comes in will be lost for sure. It only takes a few minutes, and where there was once dry land, large ships can now navigate. We saw a whole row of wagons traveling from Föhr to Amrom. Against the backdrop of the white sand and blue horizon, they appeared to be twice their actual size. All around were stretches of water spread out like a net, seemingly holding down the swath of sand that belonged to the ocean and that would soon be submerged. This point reminds one of the ash mounds at Vesuvius, as each step sinks into loose sand that the thin moor-grass can't hold together. The sun blazed fiercely between the white sand hills; it felt like a journey through the deserts of Africa.
A peculiar kind of rose, and the heath were in flower in the valleys between the hills; in other places there was no vegetation whatever; nothing but the wet sand on which the waves had left their impress; the sea had inscribed on its receding strange hieroglyphics. I gazed from one of the highest points over the North Sea; it was ebb-tide; the sea had retired above a mile; the vessels lay like dead fishes upon the sand, and awaiting the returning tide. A few sailors had clambered down and moved about on the sandy ground like black points. Where the sea itself kept the white level sand in movement, a long bank elevated itself, which, during the time of high-water, is concealed, and upon which occur many wrecks. I saw the lofty wooden tower which is here erected, and in which a cask is always kept filled with water, and a basket supplied with bread and brandy, that the unfortunate human beings, who are here stranded, may be able in this place, amid the swelling sea, to preserve life for a few days until it is possible to rescue them.
A strange type of rose and heather were blooming in the valleys between the hills; in other spots, there was no plant life at all; just the wet sand where the waves had left their mark; the sea had carved out unusual symbols as it pulled back. I looked out from one of the highest points over the North Sea; it was low tide; the sea had receded more than a mile; the boats were lying on the sand like dead fish, waiting for the tide to come back. A few sailors had climbed down and were moving around on the sandy ground like little black dots. Where the sea kept the smooth white sand shifting, a long ridge emerged, which is hidden during high tide and where many shipwrecks happen. I spotted the tall wooden tower that stands here, which always has a barrel filled with water, and a basket stocked with bread and brandy, so that stranded people can survive for a few days in this place, amid the rising sea, until they can be rescued.
To return from such a scene as this to a royal table, a charming court-concert, and a little ball in the bath-saloon, as well as to the promenade by moonlight, thronged with guests, a little Boulevard, had something in it like a fairy tale,—it was a singular contrast.
To go back from something like this to a royal dinner, a delightful concert at court, and a small dance in the bathhouse, not to mention the moonlit stroll packed with guests along a little Boulevard, felt almost like a fairy tale—it was quite the contrast.
As I sat on the above-mentioned five-and-twentieth anniversary, on the 5th of September, at the royal dinner-table, the whole of my former life passed in review before my mind. I was obliged to summon all my strength to prevent myself bursting into tears. There are moments of thankfulness in which, as it were, we feel a desire to press God to our hearts. How deeply I felt, at this time, my own nothingness; how all, all, had come from him. Rantzau knew what an interesting day this was to me. After dinner the king and the queen wished me happiness, and that so—graciously, is a poor word,—so cordially, so sympathizingly! The king wished me happiness in that which I had endured and won. He asked me about my first entrance into the world, and I related to him some characteristic traits.
As I sat at the aforementioned twenty-fifth anniversary dinner on September 5th, my whole life flashed before my eyes. I had to gather all my strength to keep from bursting into tears. There are moments of gratitude when we want to hold God close to our hearts. I felt acutely aware of my own insignificance; everything had come from Him. Rantzau knew how significant this day was for me. After dinner, the king and queen wished me happiness, and “graciously” doesn’t quite capture it— it was so heartfelt, so full of empathy! The king congratulated me on everything I had gone through and achieved. He asked me about my first experiences in the world, and I shared some memorable stories with him.
In the course of conversation he inquired if I had not some certain yearly income; I named the sum to him.
During our conversation, he asked if I had a specific annual income; I told him the amount.
"That is not much," said the king.
"That's not a lot," said the king.
"But I do not require much," replied I, "and my writings procure me something."
"But I don’t need much," I replied, "and my writing provides me with a little."
The king, in the kindest manner, inquired farther into my circumstances, and closed by saying,
The king, in the gentlest way, asked more about my situation and ended by saying,
"If I can, in any way, be serviceable to your literary labors, then come to me."
"If I can be of any help with your writing, then come to me."
In the evening, during the concert, the conversation was renewed, and some of those who stood near me reproached me for not having made use of my opportunity.
In the evening, during the concert, the conversation picked up again, and some of the people standing near me criticized me for not taking advantage of my chance.
"The king," said they, "put the very words into your mouth."
"The king," they said, "put those exact words in your mouth."
But I could not, I would not have done it. "If the king," I said, "found that I required something more, he could give it to me of his own will."
But I couldn’t, I wouldn’t have done it. “If the king,” I said, “found that I needed something more, he could give it to me willingly.”
And I was not mistaken. In the following year King Christian VIII. increased my annual stipend, so that with this and that which my writings bring in, I can live honorably and free from care. My king gave it to me out of the pure good-will of his own heart. King Christian is enlightened, clear-sighted, with a mind enlarged by science; the gracious sympathy, therefore, which he has felt in my fate is to me doubly cheering and ennobling.
And I was right. The next year, King Christian VIII increased my annual stipend, so now, along with the income from my writings, I can live comfortably and without worry. My king gave this to me out of genuine kindness. King Christian is knowledgeable, insightful, and has a mind enriched by education; therefore, his understanding and support of my situation is especially uplifting and inspiring for me.
The 5th of September was to me a festival-day; even the German visitors at the baths honored me by drinking my health in the pump-room.
The 5th of September felt like a celebration for me; even the German tourists at the baths toasted to my health in the pump-room.
So many flattering circumstances, some people argue, may easily spoil a man, and make him vain. But, no; they do not spoil him, they make him on the contrary—better; they purify his mind, and he must thereby feel an impulse, a wish, to deserve all that he enjoys. At my parting-audience with the queen, she gave me a valuable ring as a remembrance of our residence at F÷hr; and the king again expressed himself full of kindness and noble sympathy. God bless and preserve this exalted pair!
So many flattering situations, some people argue, can easily ruin a person and make them conceited. But, no; they don't ruin him, they actually make him—better; they clear his mind, and he must feel an urge, a desire, to be worthy of everything he has. During my final audience with the queen, she gave me a valuable ring as a keepsake from our time at F÷hr; and the king once again expressed his kindness and genuine sympathy. God bless and protect this distinguished couple!
The Duchess of Augustenburg was at this time also at F÷hr with her two eldest daughters. I had daily the happiness of being with them, and received repeated invitations to take Augustenburg on my return. For this purpose I went from F÷hr to Als, one of the most beautiful islands in the Baltic. That little region resembles a blooming garden; luxuriant corn and clover-fields are enclosed, with hedges of hazels and wild roses; the peasants' houses are surrounded by large apple-orchards, full of fruit. Wood and hill alternate. Now we see the ocean, and now the narrow Lesser Belt, which resembles a river. The Castle of Augustenburg is magnificent, with its garden full of flowers, extending down to the very shores of the serpentine bay. I met with the most cordial reception, and found the most amiable family-life in the ducal circle. I spent fourteen days here, and was present at the birth-day festivities of the duchess, which lasted three days; among these festivities was racing, and the town and the castle were filled with people.
The Duchess of Augustenburg was also at Föhr at this time with her two oldest daughters. I had the pleasure of being with them every day and received several invitations to visit Augustenburg on my way back. To prepare for this, I traveled from Föhr to Als, one of the most beautiful islands in the Baltic. That little area feels like a blooming garden; lush fields of grain and clover are bordered by hedges of hazels and wild roses; the peasants' homes are surrounded by large apple orchards, heavy with fruit. Woods and hills alternate. Sometimes we see the ocean, and at other times the narrow Lesser Belt, which looks like a river. The Castle of Augustenburg is stunning, with its flower-filled garden extending all the way to the shores of the serpentine bay. I received a very warm welcome and experienced a wonderfully friendly family atmosphere in the ducal circle. I spent fourteen days here and attended the duchess's birthday celebrations, which lasted three days; among these festivities were races, and both the town and the castle were bustling with people.
Happy domestic life is like a beautiful summer's evening; the heart is filled with peace; and everything around derives a peculiar glory. The full heart says "it is good to be here;" and this I felt at Augustenburg.
Happy domestic life is like a beautiful summer evening; the heart is filled with peace, and everything around has a unique charm. The full heart says, "it's good to be here," and I felt this in Augustenburg.
CHAPTER VIII.
In the spring of 1844 I had finished a dramatic tale, "The Flower of Fortune." The idea of this was, that it is not the immortal name of the artist, nor the splendor of a crown which can make man happy; but that happiness is to be found where people, satisfied with little, love and are loved again. The scene was perfectly Danish, an idyllian, sunbright life, in whose clear heaven two dark pictures are reflected as in a dream; the unfortunate Danish poet Ewald and Prince Buris, who is tragically sung of in our heroic ballads. I wished to show, in honor of our times, the middle ages to have been dark and miserable, as they were, but which many poets only represent to us in a beautiful light.
In the spring of 1844, I finished a dramatic story called "The Flower of Fortune." The main idea was that it’s not the eternal fame of the artist or the glory of a crown that can make a person truly happy; instead, happiness can be found among those who are content with little, who love and are loved in return. The setting was entirely Danish, showcasing a bright, idyllic life, where two dark images play out like a dream in the clear sky: the unfortunate Danish poet Ewald and Prince Buris, who is tragically celebrated in our heroic ballads. I wanted to honor our times by portraying the Middle Ages as dark and miserable, just as they were, even though many poets depict that era in a more beautiful way.
Professor Heiberg, who was appointed censor, declared himself against the reception of my piece. During the last years I had met with nothing but hostility from this party; I regarded it as personal ill-will, and this was to me still more painful than the rejection of the pieces. It was painful for me to be placed in a constrained position with regard to a poet whom I respected, and towards whom, according to my own conviction, I had done everything in order to obtain a friendly relationship. A further attempt, however, must be made. I wrote to Heiberg, expressed myself candidly, and, as I thought, cordially, and entreated him to give me explicitly the reasons for his rejection of the piece and for his ill-will towards me. He immediately paid me a visit, which I, not being at home when he called, returned on the following day, and I was received in the most friendly manner. The visit and the conversation belong certainly to the extraordinary, but they occasioned an explanation, and I hope led to a better understanding for the future.
Professor Heiberg, who was appointed as the censor, expressed his disapproval of my work. Over the past few years, I had faced nothing but hostility from this group; I saw it as personal animosity, which hurt me even more than the rejection of my pieces. It was difficult for me to be in an awkward position regarding a poet I respected, especially since I believed I had done everything possible to foster a friendly relationship. Yet, I needed to make another attempt. I wrote to Heiberg, honestly and, as I thought, warmly, asking him to clearly explain his reasons for rejecting my work and for his negative feelings towards me. He promptly visited me, but since I wasn't home when he came, I returned his call the next day, and he greeted me very warmly. Our meeting and conversation were certainly unusual, but they led to an explanation, and I hope they fostered a better understanding moving forward.
He clearly set before me his views in the rejection of my piece. Seen from his point of sight they were unquestionably correct; but they were not mine, and thus we could not agree. He declared decidedly that he cherished no spite against me, and that he acknowledged my talent. I mentioned his various attacks upon me, for example, in the Intelligence, and that he had denied to me original invention: I imagined, however, that I had shown this in my novels; "But of these," said I, "you have read none; you, yourself have told me so."
He clearly laid out his reasons for rejecting my work. From his perspective, they were unquestionably valid; however, they weren't mine, and that’s why we couldn’t see eye to eye. He strongly stated that he held no grudges against me and that he recognized my talent. I brought up his various criticisms of me, such as in the Intelligence, and pointed out that he had denied me original creativity. I believed I had demonstrated this in my novels; "But of those," I said, "you haven’t read any; you’ve told me that yourself."
"Yes, that is the truth," replied he; "I have not yet read them, but I will do so."
"Yes, that's the truth," he replied; "I haven't read them yet, but I will."
"Since then," continued I, "you have turned me and my Bazaar to ridicule in your poem called Denmark, and spoken about my fanaticism for the beautiful Dardanelles; and yet I have, precisely in that book, described the Dardanelles as not beautiful; it is the Bosphorus which I thought beautiful; you seem not to be aware of that; perhaps you have not read The Bazaar either?"
"Since then," I continued, "you’ve made fun of me and my Bazaar in your poem called Denmark, and you talked about my obsession with the beautiful Dardanelles; but in that very book, I said the Dardanelles aren't beautiful; it’s the Bosphorus that I found beautiful; you don't seem to realize that; maybe you haven't read The Bazaar either?"
"Was it the Bosphorus?" said he, with his own peculiar smile; "yes, I had quite forgotten that, and, you see, people do not remember it either; the object in this case was only to give you a stab."
"Was it the Bosphorus?" he said, with his own unique smile. "Yeah, I'd totally forgotten about that, and, you know, people don't really remember it either; the point here was just to give you a jab."
This confession sounded so natural, so like him, that I was obliged to smile. I looked into his clever eyes, thought how many beautiful things he had written, and I could not be angry with him. The conversation became more lively, more free, and he said many kind things to me; for example, he esteemed my stories very highly, and entreated me frequently to visit him. I have become more and more acquainted with his poetical temperament, and I fancy that he too will understand mine. We are very dissimilar, but we both strive after the same object. Before we separated he conducted me to his little observatory; now his dearest world. He seems now to live for poetry and now for philosophy, andùfor which I fancy he is least of all calculated—for astronomy. I could almost sigh and sing,
This confession felt so genuine, so much like him, that I couldn’t help but smile. I looked into his sharp eyes, thought about all the beautiful things he had written, and I couldn’t be mad at him. The conversation got more lively and relaxed, and he said many nice things to me; for example, he really valued my stories and often asked me to come visit him. I’ve gotten to know his poetic personality better, and I think he’ll understand mine too. We’re very different, but we both aim for the same goals. Before we parted ways, he took me to his little observatory; it seems to be his most cherished place. He seems to live for poetry and sometimes for philosophy, but—though I think he’s least suited for it—also for astronomy. I could almost sigh and sing,
Thou wast erewhile the star at which them gazest now!
You were once the star at which they gaze now!
My dramatic story came at length on the stage, and in the course of the season was performed seven times.
My dramatic story finally hit the stage, and throughout the season, it was performed seven times.
As people grow older, however much they may be tossed about in the world, some one place must be the true home; even the bird of passage has one fixed spot to which it hastens; mine was and is the house of my friend Collin. Treated as a son, almost grown up with the children, I have become a member of the family; a more heartfelt connection, a better home have I never known: a link broke in this chain, and precisely in the hour of bereavement, did I feel how firmly I have been engrafted here, so that I was regarded as one of the children. If I were to give the picture of the mistress of a family who wholly loses her own individual I in her husband and children, I must name the wife of Collin; with the sympathy of a mother, she also followed me in sorrow and in gladness. In the latter years of her life she became very deaf, and besides this she had the misfortune of being nearly blind. An operation was performed on her sight, which succeeded so well, that in the course of the winter she was able to read a letter, and this was a cause of grateful joy to her. She longed in an extraordinary manner for the first green of spring, and this she saw in her little garden.
As people get older, no matter how much they go through in life, there has to be one place that feels like home; even migratory birds have one specific spot they hurry back to. For me, that place is the house of my friend Collin. Treated like a son and having grown up alongside his children, I have become part of the family; I've never known a bond or a home like this. When a loss occurred, I realized how deeply I had been integrated into this family, to the point that I was seen as one of the kids. If I were to describe a family matriarch who completely loses her individuality in her husband and children, I would have to mention Collin's wife. With a mother's compassion, she shared in my joys and sorrows. In her later years, she became quite deaf, and on top of that, she faced the misfortune of nearly losing her sight. She underwent a successful surgery that restored her vision, and during the winter, she was able to read a letter, which filled her with gratitude and joy. She had an extraordinary longing for the first hint of green in spring, and she found it in her little garden.
I parted from her one Sunday evening in health and joy; in the night I was awoke; a servant brought me a letter. Collin wrote, "My wife is very ill; the children are all assembled here!" I understood it, and hastened thither. She slept quietly and without pain; it was the sleep of the just; it was death which was approaching so kindly and calmly. On the third day she yet lay in that peaceful slumber: then her countenance grew pale—and she was dead!
I said goodbye to her one Sunday evening, feeling healthy and happy; later that night, I was awakened by a servant who brought me a letter. Collin wrote, "My wife is very sick; the children are all gathered here!" I understood and rushed over. She was sleeping peacefully and without pain; it was the sleep of the righteous; death was approaching so gently and quietly. On the third day, she still lay in that serene slumber: then her face turned pale—and she was gone!
Thou didst but close thine eyes to gather in The large amount of all thy spiritual bliss; We saw thy slumbers like a little child's. O death! thou art all brightness and not shadow.
You just closed your eyes to take in The huge amount of all your spiritual joy; We saw you sleeping like a little child. O death! you are all brightness and not shadow.
Never had I imagined that the departure from this world could be so painless, so blessed. A devotion arose in my soul; a conviction of God and eternity, which this moment elevated to an epoch in my life. It was the first death-bed at which I had been present since my childhood. Children, and children's children were assembled. In such moments all is holy around us. Her soul was love; she went to love and to God!
Never did I think that leaving this world could be so painless and peaceful. A deep devotion stirred in my soul; a belief in God and eternity that this moment turned into a pivotal time in my life. This was the first deathbed I had been at since I was a child. Family, including kids and grandkids, gathered around. In moments like these, everything feels sacred. Her soul was filled with love; she moved on to love and to God!
At the end of July, the monument of King Frederick VI. was to be uncovered at Skanderburg, in the middle of Jutland. I had, by solicitation, written the cantata for the festival, to which Hartmann had furnished the music, and this was to be sung by Danish students. I had been invited to the festival, which thus was to form the object of my summer excursion.
At the end of July, the statue of King Frederick VI was set to be unveiled at Skanderburg, in central Jutland. I had, through some persuasion, written the cantata for the celebration, to which Hartmann provided the music, and this was going to be performed by Danish students. I had been invited to the festival, which would be the focus of my summer trip.
Skanderburg lies in one of the most beautiful districts of Denmark. Agreeable hills rise covered with vast beech-woods, and a large inland lake of a pleasing form extends among them. On the outside of the city, close by the church, which is built upon the ruins of an old castle, now stands the monument, a work of Thorwaldsen's. The most beautiful moment to me at this festival was in the evening, after the unveiling of the monument; torches were lighted around it, and threw their unsteady flame over the lake; within the woods blazed thousands of lights, and music for the dance resounded from the tents. Round about upon the hills, between the woods, and high above them, bonfires were lighted at one and the same moment, which burned in the night like red stars. There was spread over lake and land a pure, a summer fragrance which is peculiar to the north, in its beautiful summer nights. The shadows of those who passed between the monument and the church, glided gigantically along its red walls, as if they were spirits who were taking part in the festival.
Skanderburg is in one of the most beautiful regions of Denmark. Gentle hills rise, covered with expansive beech forests, and a large, pleasingly shaped inland lake stretches among them. Just outside the city, near the church built on the ruins of an old castle, stands a monument created by Thorwaldsen. The most memorable moment for me during this festival was in the evening, after the monument was unveiled; torches were lit around it, casting their flickering glow over the lake. In the woods, thousands of lights sparkled, and dance music echoed from the tents. All around the hills, between the trees and high above them, bonfires were lit at the same time, burning in the night like red stars. A pure summer fragrance unique to the north filled the air on those beautiful summer nights. The shadows of those walking between the monument and the church glided along its red walls, appearing like spirits participating in the festival.
I returned home. In this year my novel of the Improvisatore was translated into English, by the well-known authoress, Mary Howitt, and was received by her countrymen with great applause. O. T. and the Fiddler soon followed, and met with, as it seemed, the same reception. After that appeared a Dutch, and lastly a Russian translation of the Improvisatore. That which should never have ventured to have dreamed of was accomplished; my writings seem to come forth under a lucky star; they fly over all lands. There is something elevating, but at the same time, a something terrific in seeing one's thoughts spread so far, and among so many people; it is indeed, almost a fearful thing to belong to so many. The noble and the good in us becomes a blessing; but the bad, one's errors, shoot forth also, and involuntarily the thought forces itself from us: God! let me never write down a word of which I shall not be able to give an account to thee. A peculiar feeling, a mixture of joy and anxiety, fills my heart every time my good genius conveys my fictions to a foreign people.
I returned home. This year, my novel *The Improvisatore* was translated into English by the well-known author Mary Howitt, and was received with great praise by her fellow countrymen. *O. T.* and *The Fiddler* soon followed and seemed to receive a similar reception. After that, a Dutch translation appeared, and lastly, a Russian one of *The Improvisatore*. What I never dared to dream of actually happened; my writings seem to be under a lucky star; they reach every corner of the globe. There’s something uplifting, yet also somewhat terrifying about seeing my thoughts spread so widely among so many people; it’s almost frightening to belong to so many. The noble and good parts of us can be a blessing, but the bad and our mistakes also come to light, and I can’t help but think: God! Let me never write a word I can't justify to You. A unique feeling, a mix of joy and anxiety, fills my heart every time my good fortune sends my stories to a foreign audience.
Travelling operates like an invigorating bath to the mind; like a Medea-draft which always makes young again. I feel once more an impulse for it—not in order to seek up material, as a critic fancied and said, in speaking of my Bazaar; there exists a treasury of material in my own inner self, and this life is too short to mature this young existence; but there needs refreshment of spirit in order to convey it vigorously and maturely to paper, and travelling is to me, as I have said, this invigorating bath, from which I return as it were younger and stronger.
Traveling feels like a refreshing bath for the mind; like a potion that always rejuvenates. I feel that urge again—not to gather material, as someone mistakenly suggested while discussing my Bazaar; there's a wealth of material within me, and life is too short to fully develop this youthful spirit; rather, I need a boost of inspiration to express it effectively and maturely on paper, and traveling serves as that rejuvenating bath for me, from which I come back feeling younger and stronger.
By prudent economy, and the proceeds of my writings, I was in a condition to undertake several journeys during the last year. That which for me is the most sunbright, is the one in which these pages were written. Esteem, perhaps over-estimation, but especially kindness, in short, happiness and pleasure have flowed towards me in abundant measure.
By being careful with my spending and through the earnings from my writing, I was able to take several trips last year. The one that stands out the most for me is the one in which these pages were written. I’ve received appreciation, maybe even too much, but mostly kindness; in short, joy and happiness have come to me in abundance.
I wished to visit Italy for the third time, there to spend a summer, that I might become acquainted with the south in its warm season, and probably return thence by Spain and France. At the end of October, 1845, I left Copenhagen. Formerly I had thought when I set out on a journey, God! what wilt thou permit to happen to me on this journey! This time my thoughts were, God, what will happen to my friends at home during this long time! And I felt a real anxiety. In one year the hearse may drive up to the door many times, and whose name may shine upon the coffin! The proverb says, when one suddenly feels a cold shudder, "now death passes over my grave." The shudder is still colder when the thoughts pass over the graves of our best friends.
I wanted to visit Italy for the third time to spend a summer there so I could experience the south in its warm season, and probably return through Spain and France. At the end of October, 1845, I left Copenhagen. In the past, I used to think, "Oh God, what will happen to me on this journey?" This time, my thoughts were more focused on my friends at home: "Oh God, what will happen to them during this long time?" I felt a real anxiety. In just one year, a hearse could pull up to their door multiple times, and whose name might be written on the coffin? There's a saying that when you suddenly feel a chill, "now death passes over my grave." That chill is even colder when your thoughts turn to the graves of our closest friends.
I spent a few days at Count Moltke's, at Glorup; strolling players were acting some of my dramatic works at one of the nearest provincial towns. I did not see them; country life firmly withheld me. There is something in the late autumn poetically beautiful; when the leaf is fallen from the tree, and the sun shines still upon the green grass, and the bird twitters, one may often fancy that it is a spring-day; thus certainly also has the old man moments in his autumn in which his heart dreams of spring.
I spent a few days at Count Moltke's place in Glorup. Traveling actors were performing some of my plays in a nearby town, but I didn’t see them; countryside life kept me grounded. There’s something poetically beautiful about late autumn; when the leaves have fallen from the trees, and the sun still shines on the green grass, and the birds chirp, it can often feel like a spring day. In the same way, the old man has moments in his autumn when his heart dreams of spring.
I passed only one day in Odense—I feel myself there more of a stranger than in the great cities of Germany. As a child I was solitary, and had therefore no youthful friend; most of the families whom I knew have died out; a new generation passes along the streets; and the streets even are altered. The later buried have concealed the miserable graves of my parents. Everything is changed. I took one of my childhood's rambles to the Marian-heights which had belonged to the Iversen family; but this family is dispersed; unknown faces looked out from the windows. How many youthful thoughts have been here exchanged!
I spent just one day in Odense—I feel more like a stranger there than in the big cities of Germany. As a kid, I was lonely and didn’t have any childhood friends; most of the families I knew have passed away; a new generation walks the streets; even the streets have changed. The recently buried have covered up the sad graves of my parents. Everything is different. I took a walk to the Marian Heights that used to belong to the Iversen family, but that family is scattered now; unfamiliar faces looked out from the windows. How many youthful thoughts were shared here!
One of the young girls who at that time sat quietly there with beaming eyes and listened to my first poem, when I came here in the summer time as a scholar from Slagelse, sits now far quieter in noisy Copenhagen, and has thence sent out her first writings into the world. Her German publisher thought that some introductory words from me might be useful to them, and I, the stranger, but the almost too kindly received, have introduced the works of this clever girl into Germany.
One of the young girls who sat there quietly with bright eyes, listening to my first poem when I arrived here in the summer as a student from Slagelse, now sits much quieter in bustling Copenhagen and has sent her first writings out into the world. Her German publisher thought some introductory words from me would be helpful, and I, the outsider who has been received with such kindness, have introduced this talented girl’s works into Germany.
It is Henriette Hanck of whom I speak, the authoress of "Aunt Anna," and "An Author's Daughter." [Footnote: Since these pages were written, I have received from home the news of her death, in July, 1846. She was an affectionate daughter to her parents, and was, besides this, possessed of a deeply poetical mind. In her I have lost a true friend from the years of childhood, one who had felt an interest and a sisterly regard for me, both in my good and my evil days.] I visited her birth-place when the first little circle paid me homage and gave me joy. But all was strange there, I myself a stranger.
It’s Henriette Hanck I’m talking about, the author of "Aunt Anna" and "An Author's Daughter." [Footnote: Since I wrote these pages, I’ve received news from home about her passing in July 1846. She was a loving daughter to her parents and had a deeply poetic mind. I’ve lost a true friend from my childhood in her, someone who cared about me like a sister, in both good times and bad.] I visited her birthplace when the first little group came to honor me and brought me joy. But everything felt strange there; I was a stranger myself.
The ducal family of Augustenburg was now at Castle Gravenstein; they were informed of my arrival, and all the favor and the kindness which was shown to me on the former occasion at Augustenburg, was here renewed in rich abundance. I remained here fourteen days, and it was as if these were an announcement of all the happiness which should meet me when I arrived in Germany. The country around here is of the most picturesque description; vast woods, cultivated uplands in perpetual variety, with the winding shore of the bay and the many quiet inland lakes. Even the floating mists of autumn lent to the landscape a some what picturesque, something strange to the islander. Everything here is on a larger scale than on the island. Beautiful was it without, glorious was it within. I wrote here a new little story. The Girl with the Brimstone-matches; the only thing which I wrote upon this journey. Receiving the invitation to come often to Gravenstein and Augustenburg, I left, with a grateful heart, a place where I had spent such beautiful and such happy days.
The ducal family of Augustenburg was now at Castle Gravenstein; they were informed of my arrival, and all the warmth and kindness I experienced during my previous visit to Augustenburg were generously extended to me once again. I stayed there for fourteen days, and it felt like these days were a prologue to all the joy that awaited me in Germany. The surrounding countryside is incredibly picturesque; vast forests, cultivated hills in endless variety, with the winding shore of the bay and numerous tranquil inland lakes. Even the autumn mists added a somewhat picturesque and strange quality to the landscape for someone from the island. Everything here feels more grand than back on the island. It was beautiful outside, and glorious inside. During my time there, I wrote a new short story, The Girl with the Brimstone-matches, which was the only piece I created on this journey. I received an invitation to visit Gravenstein and Augustenburg often, and I left with a grateful heart from a place where I had spent such beautiful and happy days.
Now, no longer the traveller goes at a snail's pace through the deep sand over the heath; the railroad conveys him in a few hours to Altona and Hamburg. The circle of my friends there is increased within the last years. The greater part of my time I spent with my oldest friends Count Hoik, and the resident Minister Bille, and with Zeise, the excellent translator of my stories. Otto Speckter, who is full of genius, surprised me by his bold, glorious drawings for my stories; he had made a whole collection of them, six only of which were known to me. The same natural freshness which shows itself in every one of his works, and makes them all little works of art, exhibits itself in his whole character. He appears to possess a patriarchal family, an affectionate old father, and gifted sisters, who love him with their whole souls. I wished one evening to go to the theatre; it was scarcely a quarter of an hour before the commencement of the opera: Speckter accompanied me, and on our way we came up to an elegant house.
Now, the traveler no longer moves at a snail's pace through the deep sand over the heath; the train takes him to Altona and Hamburg in just a few hours. In recent years, my circle of friends there has grown. I spend most of my time with my oldest friends, Count Hoik, the resident Minister Bille, and Zeise, the talented translator of my stories. Otto Speckter, who is incredibly talented, surprised me with his bold, stunning drawings for my stories; he had created an entire collection of them, only six of which I was previously aware. The same natural freshness that appears in each of his works, making them all little pieces of art, reflects his entire character. He seems to have a warm family, a caring old father, and talented sisters who adore him completely. One evening, I wanted to go to the theater; it was barely a quarter of an hour before the opera started: Speckter joined me, and on our way, we passed an elegant house.
"We must first go in here, dear friend," said he; "a wealthy family lives here, friends of mine, and friends of your stories; the children will be happy."
"We need to go in here first, my dear friend," he said; "a rich family lives here, friends of mine and friends of your stories; the kids will be happy."
"But the opera," said I.
"But the opera," I said.
"Only for two minutes," returned he; and drew me into the house, mentioned my name, and the circle of children collected around me.
"Just for two minutes," he said, pulling me into the house, mentioning my name, and the group of kids gathered around me.
"And now tell us a tale," said he; "only one."
"And now tell us a story," he said; "just one."
I told one, and then hastened away to the theatre.
I told one person, then rushed off to the theater.
"That was an extraordinary visit," said I.
"That was an amazing visit," I said.
"An excellent one; one entirely out of the common way; one entirely out of the common way!" said he exultingly; "only think; the children are full of Andersen and his stories; he suddenly makes his appearance amongst them, tells one of them himself, and then is gone! vanished! That is of itself like a fairy-tale to the children, that will remain vividly in their remembrance."
"An amazing one; something completely unique; something totally unlike anything else!" he said excitedly. "Just imagine; the kids are all into Andersen and his stories; he suddenly shows up among them, tells one of his tales, and then he's gone! Disappeared! That alone feels like a fairy tale to the kids, and they'll remember it vividly."
I myself was amused by it.
I thought it was funny.
In Oldenburg my own little room, home-like and comfortable, was awaiting me. Hofrath von Eisendecker and his well-informed lady, whom, among all my foreign friends I may consider as my most sympathizing, expected me. I had promised to remain with them a fortnight, but I stayed much longer. A house where the best and the most intellectual people of a city meet, is an agreeable place of residence, and such a one had I here. A deal of social intercourse prevailed in the little city, and the theatre, in which certainly either opera or ballet was given, is one of the most excellent in Germany. The ability of Gall, the director, is sufficiently known, and unquestionably the nominationof the poet Mosen has a great and good influence. I have to thank him for enabling me to see one of the classic pieces of Germany, "Nathan the Wise," the principal part in which was played by Kaiser, who is as remarkable for his deeply studied and excellent tragic acting, as for his readings.
In Oldenburg, my cozy little room, which felt like home, was ready for me. Hofrath von Eisendecker and his knowledgeable wife, who I consider my most understanding foreign friends, were waiting for my arrival. I had promised to stay with them for two weeks, but I ended up staying much longer. A house where the best and brightest people in the city gather is a wonderful place to live, and that’s exactly what I found here. There was a lot of social interaction in this small city, and the theater, which often showcased either opera or ballet, is one of the best in Germany. Everyone knows about Gall, the director's, talent, and the appointment of the poet Mosen has a significant and positive impact. I owe him my thanks for allowing me to see one of Germany’s classic plays, "Nathan the Wise," in which the lead role was played by Kaiser, who is known for his deeply studied and outstanding tragic performances, as well as his readings.
Moses, who somewhat resembles Alexander Dumas, with his half African countenance, and brown sparkling eyes, although he was suffering in body, was full of life and soul, and we soon understood one another. A trait of his little son affected me. He had listened to me with great devotion, as I read one of my stories; and when on the last day I was there, I took leave, the mother said that he must give me his hand, adding, that probably a long time must pass before he would see me again, the boy burst into tears. In the evening, when Mosen came into the theatre, he said to me, "My little Erick has two tin soldiers; one of them he has given me for you, that you may take him with you on your journey."
Moses, who somewhat looks like Alexander Dumas, with his half African features and bright brown eyes, was physically unwell but was full of life and spirit, and we quickly connected. A particular quality of his young son touched me. He listened intently as I read one of my stories, and when it was time for me to leave on my last day there, his mother said he needed to shake my hand, adding that it might be a long time before he saw me again. The boy started to cry. Later that evening, when Moses came into the theater, he told me, "My little Erick has two tin soldiers; he has given me one for you so that you can take it with you on your journey."
The tin soldier has faithfully accompanied me; he is a Turk: probably some day he may relate his travels.
The tin soldier has always been by my side; he's a Turk: maybe one day he will share his adventures.
Mosen wrote in the dedication of his "John of Austria," the following lines to me:—
Mosen wrote in the dedication of his "John of Austria," these lines to me:—
Once a little bird flew over From the north sea's dreary strand; Singing, flew unto me over, Singing M rchen through the land. Farewell! yet again bring hither Thy warm heart and song together.
Once a little bird flew over From the bleak shore of the north sea; Singing, it came to me, Singing tales throughout the land. Goodbye! But please bring back Your warm heart and song.
Here I again met with Mayer, who has described Naples and the Neapolitans so charmingly. My little stories interested him so much that he had written a little treaties on them for Germany, Kapellmeister Pott, and my countryman Jerndorff, belong to my earlier friends. I made every day new acquaintance, because all houses were open to me through the family with whom I was staying. Even the Grand Duke was so generous as to have me invited to a concert at the palace the day after my arrival, and later I had the honor of being asked to dinner. I received in this foreign court, especially, many unlooked-for favors. At the Eisendeckers and at the house of the parents of my friend Beaulieu—the Privy-Counsellor Beaulieu, at Oldenburg, I heard several times my little stones read in German.
Here I met Mayer again, who has described Naples and the Neapolitans so beautifully. My little stories intrigued him so much that he even wrote a short piece about them for Germany. Kapellmeister Pott and my fellow countryman Jerndorff were among my old friends. Every day I made new acquaintances because all the houses were open to me through the family I was staying with. Even the Grand Duke was generous enough to invite me to a concert at the palace the day after I arrived, and later I had the honor of being asked to dinner. At this foreign court, I received many unexpected favors, especially at the Eisendeckers' and at the home of my friend Beaulieu's parents—the Privy Councillor Beaulieu in Oldenburg. I heard my little stories read in German several times.
I can read Danish very well, as it ought to be read, and I can give to it perfectly the expression which ought to be given in reading; there is in the Danish language a power which cannot be transfused into a translation; the Danish language is peculiarly excellent for this species of fiction. The stories have a something strange to me in German; it is difficult for me in reading it to put my Danish soul into it; my pronunciation of the German also is feeble, and with particular words I must, as it were, use an effort to bring them out—and yet people everywhere in Germany have had great interest in hearing me read them aloud. I can very well believe that the foreign pronunciation in the reading of these tales may be easily permitted, because this foreign manner approaches, in this instance, to the childlike; it gives a natural coloring to the reading. I saw everywhere that the most distinguished men and women of the most highly cultivated minds, listened to me with interest; people entreated me to read, and I did so willingly. I read for the first time my stories in a foreign tongue, and at a foreign court, before the Grand Duke of Oldenburg and a little select circle.
I can read Danish really well, just as it should be read, and I can give it the right expression when reading it. There's a power in the Danish language that can't be captured in a translation; it’s especially good for this kind of fiction. The stories feel a bit strange to me in German; it's hard for me to infuse my Danish spirit into it while reading. My pronunciation of German is also weak, and with some words, I have to really focus to get them out — yet people all over Germany have shown great interest in hearing me read them aloud. I can totally understand that a foreign accent when reading these tales can be accepted because it has a childlike quality that adds a natural feel to the reading. I noticed that well-respected men and women with highly cultured minds listened to me with interest; people asked me to read, and I was happy to do so. I read my stories for the first time in a foreign language, at a foreign court, in front of the Grand Duke of Oldenburg and a small, select group.
The winter soon came on; the meadows which lay under water, and which formed large lakes around the city, were already covered with thick ice; the skaters flew over it, and I yet remained in Oldenburg among my hospitable friends. Days and evenings slid rapidly away; Christmas approached, and this season I wished to spend in Berlin. But what are distances in our days?—the steam-carriage goes from Hanover to Berlin in one day! I must away from the beloved ones, from children and old people, who were near, as it were, to my heart.
Winter soon arrived; the meadows that were flooded and formed large lakes around the city were already covered in thick ice. Skaters glided over it while I stayed in Oldenburg with my welcoming friends. Days and evenings flew by quickly; Christmas was approaching, and I wanted to spend this season in Berlin. But what are distances these days?—the train goes from Hanover to Berlin in just one day! I had to leave my loved ones, the children and elderly who were truly close to my heart.
I was astonished in the highest degree on taking leave of the Grand Duke, to receive from him, as a mark of his favor and as a keepsake, a valuable ring. I shall always preserve it, like every other remembrance of this country, where I have found and where I possess true friends.
I was completely amazed when I said goodbye to the Grand Duke and received a valuable ring from him as a sign of his favor and a keepsake. I will always keep it, just like every other memory of this country, where I have found and where I have true friends.
When I was in Berlin on the former occasion, I was invited, as the author of the Improvisatore, to the Italian Society, into which only those who have visited Italy can be admitted. Here I saw Rauch for the first time, who with his white hair and his powerful, manly figure, is not unlike Thorwaldsen. Nobody introduced me to him, and I did not venture to present myself, and therefore walked alone about his studio, like the other strangers. Afterwards I became personally acquainted with him at the house of the Prussian Ambassador, in Copenhagen; I now hastened to him.
When I was in Berlin last time, I was invited, as the author of the Improvisatore, to the Italian Society, which only admits those who have visited Italy. Here, I saw Rauch for the first time, and with his white hair and strong, masculine build, he resembles Thorwaldsen. No one introduced me to him, and I didn’t feel comfortable introducing myself, so I wandered around his studio by myself like the other guests. Later, I got to know him personally at the house of the Prussian Ambassador in Copenhagen; I quickly made my way over to him.
He was in the highest degree captivated by my little stories, pressed me to his breast, and expressed the highest praise, but which was honestly meant. Such a momentary estimation or over-estimation from a man of genius erases many a dark shadow from the mind. I received from Rauch my first welcome in Berlin: he told me what a large circle of friends I had in the capital of Prussia. I must acknowledge that it was so. They were of the noblest in mind as well as the first in rank, in art, and in science. Alexander von Humboldt, Prince Radziwil, Savigny, and many others never to be forgotten.
He was completely taken in by my little stories, pulled me close, and gave me genuine praise. Such a momentary recognition or overestimation from a brilliant man lifts many heavy shadows from the mind. I got my first warm welcome in Berlin from Rauch; he told me how many friends I had in the Prussian capital. I must admit it was true. They were some of the most noble in spirit as well as the top in rank, art, and science. Alexander von Humboldt, Prince Radziwil, Savigny, and many others who I will never forget.
I had already, on the former occasion, visited the brothers Grimm, but I had not at that time made much progress with the acquaintance. I had not brought any letters of introduction to them with me, because people had told me, and I myself believed it, that if I were known by any body in Berlin, it must be the brothers Grimm. I therefore sought out their residence. The servant-maid asked me with which of the brothers I wished to speak.
I had already visited the Brothers Grimm before, but at that time, I hadn't really gotten to know them well. I hadn't brought any letters of introduction because people had told me, and I believed it myself, that if I was known by anyone in Berlin, it would be the Brothers Grimm. So, I went to their house. The maid asked me which brother I wanted to speak with.
"With the one who has written the most," said I, because I did not know, at that time, which of them had most interested himself in the M rchen.
"With the one who has written the most," I said, because at that time, I didn't know which of them had shown the most interest in the fairy tales.
"Jacob is the most learned," said the maidservant.
"Jacob is the smartest," said the maid.
"Well, then, take me to him."
"Okay, then, take me to him."
I entered the room, and Jacob Grimm, with his knowing and strongly-marked countenance, stood before me.
I walked into the room, and Jacob Grimm, with his insightful and distinctive face, was standing in front of me.
"I come to you," said I, "without letters of introduction, because I hope that my name is not wholly unknown to you."
"I come to you," I said, "without any letters of introduction, because I hope my name isn’t completely unfamiliar to you."
"Who are you?" asked he.
"Who are you?" he asked.
I told him, and Jacob Grimm said, in a half-embarrassed voice, "I do not remember to have heard this name; what have you written?"
I told him, and Jacob Grimm said, in a slightly embarrassed tone, "I don’t recall hearing this name; what have you written?"
It was now my turn to be embarrassed in a high degree: but I now mentioned my little stories.
It was now my turn to feel really embarrassed, but I went ahead and shared my little stories.
"I do not know them," said he; "but mention to me some other of your writings, because I certainly must have heard them spoken of."
"I don’t know them," he said; "but tell me about some of your other writings, because I’m sure I’ve heard people talk about them."
I named the titles of several; but he shook his head. I felt myself quite unlucky.
I mentioned the titles of a few, but he just shook his head. I felt pretty unlucky.
"But what must you think of me," said I, "that I come to you as a total stranger, and enumerate myself what I have written: you must know me! There has been published in Denmark a collection of the M rchen of all nations, which is dedicated to you, and in it there is at least one story of mine."
"But what do you think of me," I said, "that I come to you as a complete stranger and list out what I've written: you must know me! There’s been a collection of fairy tales from all nations published in Denmark, dedicated to you, and in it, there’s at least one story of mine."
"No," said he good-humoredly, but as much embarrassed as myself; "I have not read even that, but it delights me to make your acquaintance; allow me to conduct you to my brother Wilhelm?"
"No," he said cheerfully, but just as embarrassed as I was; "I haven't read that either, but I'm really pleased to meet you; can I take you to my brother Wilhelm?"
"No, I thank you," said I, only wishing now to get away; I had fared badly enough with one brother. I pressed his hand and hurried from the house.
"No, thank you," I said, just wanting to leave now; I had already had a tough time with one brother. I shook his hand and rushed out of the house.
That same month Jacob Grimm went to Copenhagen; immediately on his arrival, and while yet in his travelling dress, did the amiable kind man hasten up to me. He now knew me, and he came to me with cordiality. I was just then standing and packing my clothes in a trunk for a journey to the country; I had only a few minutes time: by this means my reception of him was just as laconic as had been his of me in Berlin.
That same month, Jacob Grimm traveled to Copenhagen. As soon as he arrived, still in his travel clothes, the kind man quickly came up to me. He recognized me and greeted me warmly. I was busy packing my clothes into a trunk for a trip to the countryside, so I only had a few minutes. Because of this, my greeting was as brief as his had been when I saw him in Berlin.
Now, however, we met in Berlin as old acquaintance. Jacob Grimm is one of those characters whom one must love and attach oneself to.
Now, however, we meet in Berlin as old friends. Jacob Grimm is one of those people you can’t help but love and feel connected to.
One evening, as I was reading one of my little stories at the Countess Bismark-Bohlen's, there was in the little circle one person in particular who listened with evident fellowship of feeling, and who expressed himself in a peculiar and sensible manner on the subject,—this was Jacob's brother, Wilhelm Grimm.
One evening, while I was reading one of my short stories at Countess Bismark-Bohlen's, there was one person in the small group who listened with a clear sense of connection and spoke in a unique and thoughtful way about it—this was Jacob's brother, Wilhelm Grimm.
"I should have known you very well, if you had come to me," said he, "the last time you were here."
"I should have known you really well if you had come to me," he said, "the last time you were here."
I saw these two highly-gifted and amiable brothers almost daily; the circles into which I was invited seemed also to be theirs, and it was my desire and pleasure that they should listen to my little stories, that they should participate in them, they whose names will be always spoken as long as the German Volks M rchen are read.
I saw these two exceptionally talented and friendly brothers almost every day; the social circles I was part of seemed to include them too, and I really wanted them to hear my little stories, to join in on them, as their names will always be remembered as long as the German Volksmärchen are read.
The fact of my not being known to Jacob Grimm on my first visit to Berlin, had so disconcerted me, that when any one asked me whether I had been well received in this city, I shook my head doubtfully and said, "but Grimm did not know me."
The fact that Jacob Grimm didn't know me during my first visit to Berlin really threw me off, so when anyone asked if I was welcomed in the city, I shook my head uncertainly and replied, "but Grimm didn't know me."
I was told that Tieck was ill—could see no one; I therefore only sent in my card. Some days afterwards I met at a friend's house, where Rauch's birth-day was being celebrated, Tieck, the sculptor, who told me that his brother had lately waited two hours for me at dinner. I went to him and discovered that he had sent me an invitation, which, however, had been taken to a wrong inn. A fresh invitation was given, and I passed some delightfully cheerful hours with Raumer the historian, and with the widow and daughter of Steffens. There is a music in Tieck's voice, a spirituality in his intelligent eyes, which age cannot lessen, but, on the contrary, must increase. The Elves, perhaps the most beautiful story which has been conceived in our time, would alone be sufficient, had Tieck written nothing else, to make his name immortal. As the author of M rchen, I bow myself before him, the elder and The master, and who was the first German poet, who many years before pressed me to his breast, as if it were to consecrate me, to walk in the same path with himself.
I was informed that Tieck was ill and could see no one, so I just sent in my card. A few days later, at a friend's house where we were celebrating Rauch's birthday, I ran into Tieck, the sculptor. He mentioned that his brother had recently waited two hours for me at dinner. I visited him and found out that he had sent me an invitation, but it had gone to the wrong inn. A new invitation was given, and I spent some wonderfully pleasant hours with Raumer the historian and with the widow and daughter of Steffens. There’s a musical quality to Tieck's voice and a spiritual depth in his wise eyes that age can’t diminish; if anything, it enhances them. "The Elves," perhaps the most beautiful story conceived in our time, would be enough on its own to make his name immortal even if Tieck had written nothing else. As the author of M rchen, I humbly respect him as the elder and the master, the first German poet who years ago embraced me as if to bless me to walk the same path as he did.
The old friends had all to be visited; but the number of new ones grew with each day. One invitation followed another. It required considerable physical power to support so much good-will. I remained in Berlin about three weeks, and the time seemed to pass more rapidly with each succeeding day. I was, as it were, overcome by kindness. I, at length, had no other prospect for repose than to seat myself in a railway-carriage, and fly away out of the country.
The old friends all needed to be visited, but the number of new ones kept increasing every day. One invitation came after another. It took a lot of energy to handle so much generosity. I stayed in Berlin for about three weeks, and time seemed to go by faster with each passing day. I was, in a way, overwhelmed by all the kindness. Eventually, I had no other option for rest than to sit myself in a train carriage and get away from the country.
And yet amid these social festivities, with all the amiable zeal and interest that then was felt for me, I had one disengaged evening; one evening on which I suddenly felt solitude in its most oppressive form; Christmas-eve, that very evening of all others on which I would most willingly witness something festal, willingly stand beside a Christmas-tree, gladdening myself with the joy of children, and seeing the parents joyfully become children again. Every one of the many families in which I in truth felt that I was received as a relation, had fancied, as I afterwards discovered, that I must be invited out; but I sat quite alone in my room at the inn, and thought on home. I seated myself at the open window, and gazed up to the starry heavens, which was the Christmas-tree that was lighted for me.
And yet, amidst all these social events, with all the friendly enthusiasm and interest that everyone had for me, I had one free evening; one evening where I suddenly felt loneliness at its worst; Christmas Eve, that particular evening when I would have most loved to see something festive, to stand by a Christmas tree, enjoying the happiness of children and watching the parents joyfully turn back into kids again. Each of the many families where I genuinely felt welcomed as a relative thought, as I later found out, that I must have plans. But I sat completely alone in my room at the inn, thinking about home. I sat by the open window and looked up at the starry sky, which was the Christmas tree that was lit up for me.
"Father in Heaven," I prayed, as the children do, "what dost thou give to me!"
"Father in Heaven," I prayed, like the children do, "what do you give to me!"
When the friends heard of my solitary Christmas night, there were on the following evening many Christmas-trees lighted, and on the last evening in the year, there was planted for me alone, a little tree with its lights, and its beautiful presents—and that was by Jenny Lind. The whole company consisted of herself, her attendant, and me; we three children from the north were together on Sylvester-eve, and I was the child for which the Christmas-tree was lighted. She rejoiced with the feeling of a sister in my good fortune in Berlin; and I felt almost pride in the sympathy of such a pure, noble, and womanly being. Everywhere her praise resounded, not merely as a singer, but also as a woman; the two combined awoke a real enthusiasm for her.
When my friends heard about my lonely Christmas Eve, they lit many Christmas trees the next evening. On New Year's Eve, a little tree with lights and beautiful presents was set up just for me, and it was all thanks to Jenny Lind. The whole gathering included her, her assistant, and me; the three of us—children from the north—were together on New Year's Eve, and I was the child for whom the Christmas tree was lit. She celebrated my good fortune in Berlin with the warmth of a sister, and I felt a sense of pride in the support of such a pure, noble, and wonderful woman. Her praise echoed everywhere, not just as a singer but also as a woman; the combination inspired genuine enthusiasm for her.
It does one good both in mind and heart to see that which is glorious understood and beloved. In one little anecdote contributing to her triumph I was myself made the confidant.
It benefits both the mind and heart to witness something glorious being recognized and cherished. In one brief story that contributed to her success, I was trusted to be the confidant.
One morning as I looked out of my window unter den Linden, I saw a man under one of the trees, half hidden, and shabbily dressed, who took a comb out of his pocket, smoothed his hair, set his neckerchief straight, and brushed his coat with his hand; I understood that bashful poverty which feels depressed by its shabby dress. A moment after this, there was a knock at my door, and this same man entered. It was W——, the poet of nature, who is only a poor tailor, but who has a truly poetical mind. Rellstab and others in Berlin have mentioned him with honor; there is something healthy in his poems, among which several of a sincerely religious character may be found. He had read that I was in Berlin, and wished now to visit me. We sat together on the sofa and conversed: there was such an amiable contentedness, such an unspoiled and good tone of mind about him, that I was sorry not to be rich in order that I might do something for him. I was ashamed of offering him the little that I could give; in any case I wished to put it in as agreeable a form as I could. I asked him whether I might invite him to hear Jenny Lind.
One morning, as I looked out my window unter den Linden, I saw a man under one of the trees, partly hidden and poorly dressed. He took a comb from his pocket, smoothed his hair, adjusted his neckerchief, and brushed his coat with his hand. I understood the feeling of shy poverty that is embarrassed by its shabby clothing. A moment later, there was a knock at my door, and this same man came in. It was W——, the nature poet, who is just a poor tailor but has a truly poetic mind. Rellstab and others in Berlin have spoken of him with respect; there's something refreshing in his poems, including several that are sincerely religious. He had seen that I was in Berlin and wanted to visit me. We sat together on the sofa and talked; there was such a pleasant contentment, such an unspoiled and kind spirit about him, that I wished I was rich so I could help him out. I felt embarrassed to offer him what little I could give; in any case, I wanted to present it as pleasantly as possible. I asked him if I could invite him to hear Jenny Lind.
"I have already heard her," said he smiling; "I had, it is true, no money to buy a ticket; but I went to the leader of the supernumeraries, and asked whether I might not act as a supernumerary for one evening in Norma: I was accepted and habited as a Roman soldier, with a long sword by my side, and thus got to the theatre, where I could hear her better than any body else, for I stood close to her. Ah, how she sung, how she played! I could not help crying; but they were angry at that: the leader forbade and would not let me again make my appearance, because no one must weep on the stage."
"I've already heard her," he said with a smile. "It's true I had no money to buy a ticket, but I went to the person in charge of the extra performers and asked if I could fill in as an extra for one night in Norma. They accepted me and dressed me as a Roman soldier, complete with a long sword at my side, and that’s how I got to the theater, where I could hear her better than anyone else since I was standing right next to her. Oh, how she sang, how she performed! I couldn’t help but cry; but they were upset about that. The leader forbade me and wouldn’t let me come back because no one is allowed to cry on stage."
With the exception of the theatre, I had very little time to visit collections of any kind or institutions of art. The able and amiable Olfers, however, the Director of the Museum, enabled me to pay a rapid but extremely interesting visit to that institution. Olfers himself was my conductor; we delayed our steps only for the most interesting objects, and there are here not a few of these; his remarks threw light upon my mind,—for this therefore I am infinitely obliged to him.
Aside from the theater, I didn’t have much time to visit any collections or art institutions. However, the capable and friendly Olfers, the Director of the Museum, made it possible for me to take a quick but very interesting tour of the place. Olfers himself guided me; we only paused for the most intriguing exhibits, and there were quite a few of those. His insights really opened my mind—I'm incredibly grateful to him for that.
I had the happiness of visiting the Princess of Prussia many times; the wing of the castle in which she resided was so comfortable, and yet like a fairy palace. The blooming winter-garden, where the fountain splashed among the moss at the foot of the statue, was close beside the room in which the kind-hearted children smiled with their soft blue eyes. On taking leave she honored me with a richly bound album, in which, beneath the picture of the palace, she wrote her name. I shall guard this volume as a treasure of the soul; it is not the gift which has a value only, but also the manner in which it is given. One forenoon I read to her several of my little stories, and her noble husband listened kindly: Prince P ckler-Muskau also was present.
I had the joy of visiting the Princess of Prussia many times; the part of the castle where she lived was so cozy, yet like a fairy tale palace. The beautiful winter garden, where the fountain bubbled among the moss at the base of the statue, was right next to the room where the kind-hearted children smiled with their soft blue eyes. When I took my leave, she honored me with a beautifully bound album, in which, beneath the picture of the palace, she wrote her name. I will treasure this book as a gem for the heart; it's not just the gift that holds value, but also the way it's given. One morning, I read several of my little stories to her, and her noble husband listened kindly: Prince Pückler-Muskau was also there.
A few days after my arrival in Berlin, I had the honor to be invited to the royal table. As I was better acquainted with Humboldt than any one there, and he it was who had particularly interested himself about me, I took my place at his side. Not only on account of his high intellectual character, and his amiable and polite behavior, but also from his infinite kindness towards me, during the whole of my residence in Berlin, is he become unchangeably dear to me.
A few days after I got to Berlin, I was honored to be invited to the royal table. Since I knew Humboldt better than anyone else there, and he had shown a special interest in me, I took my seat next to him. Because of his impressive intellect, friendly demeanor, and endless kindness towards me throughout my time in Berlin, he has become incredibly dear to me.
The King received me most graciously, and said that during his stay in Copenhagen he had inquired after me, and had heard that I was travelling. He expressed a great interest in my novel of Only a Fiddler; her Majesty the Queen also showed herself graciously and kindly disposed towards me. I had afterwards the happiness of being invited to spend an evening at the palace at Potsdam; an evening which is full of rich remembrance and never to be forgotten! Besides the ladies and gentlemen in waiting, Humboldt and myself were only invited. A seat was assigned to me at the table of their Majesties, exactly the place, said the Queen, where Oehlenschl ger had sat and read his tragedy of Dina. I read four little stories, the Fir-Tree, the Ugly Duckling, the Ball and the Top, and The Swineherd. The King listened with great interest, and expressed himself most wittily on the subject. He said, how beautiful he thought the natural scenery of Denmark, and how excellently he had seen one of Holberg's comedies performed.
The King welcomed me warmly and mentioned that during his time in Copenhagen, he had asked about me and learned that I was traveling. He showed a lot of interest in my novel, Only a Fiddler; Her Majesty the Queen was also very gracious and kind towards me. Later, I had the joy of being invited to spend an evening at the palace in Potsdam; it was a night full of wonderful memories that I'll never forget! Besides the courtiers, only Humboldt and I were invited. I was given a seat at the table of Their Majesties, precisely where, as the Queen noted, Oehlenschläger had sat while reading his tragedy, Dina. I read four short stories: The Fir-Tree, The Ugly Duckling, The Ball and the Top, and The Swineherd. The King listened with great interest and made some clever comments about them. He shared how beautiful he found the natural scenery of Denmark and how much he enjoyed seeing one of Holberg's comedies performed.
It was so deliciously pleasant in the royal apartment,—gentle eyes were gazing at me, and I felt that they all wished me well. When at night I was alone in my chamber, my thoughts were so occupied with this evening, and my mind in such a state of excitement, that I could not sleep. Everything seemed to me like a fairy tale. Through the whole night the chimes sounded in the tower, and the aerial music mingled itself with my thoughts.
It was so wonderfully enjoyable in the royal apartment; kind eyes were watching me, and I could tell that they all wanted the best for me. When I was alone in my room at night, my mind was completely filled with thoughts about the evening, and I was so excited that I couldn’t sleep. Everything felt like a fairy tale. Through the whole night, the bells rang in the tower, and the beautiful music blended with my thoughts.
I received still one more proof of the favor and kindness of the King of Prussia towards me, on the evening before my departure from the city. The order of the Red Eagle, of the third class, was conferred upon me. Such a mark of honor delights certainly every one who receives it. I confess candidly that I felt myself honored in a high degree. I discerned in it an evident token of the kindness of the noble, enlightened King towards me: my heart is filled with gratitude. I received this mark of honor exactly on the birth-day of my benefactor Collin, the 6th of January; this day has now a twofold festal significance for me. May God fill with gladness the mind of the royal donor who wished to give me pleasure!
I received yet another sign of the favor and kindness of the King of Prussia towards me on the night before I left the city. I was awarded the Order of the Red Eagle, third class. Such an honor surely brings joy to everyone who receives it. I honestly felt deeply honored. I saw it as a clear sign of the noble and enlightened King’s kindness towards me; my heart is filled with gratitude. I received this honor on the birthday of my benefactor Collin, January 6th; this day now holds a special significance for me. May God fill the mind of the royal giver with joy for wanting to bring me happiness!
The last evening was spent in a warm-hearted circle, for the greater part, of young people. My health was drunk; a poem, Der M rchenk÷nig, declaimed. It was not until late in the night that I reached home, that I might set off early in the morning by railroad.
The last evening was spent in a friendly group, mostly made up of young people. They toasted to my health, and someone recited a poem, Der M rchenk÷nig. I didn’t get home until late at night so I could leave early in the morning by train.
I have here given in part a proof of the favor and kindness which was shown to me in Berlin: I feel like some one who has received a considerable sum for a certain object from a large assembly, and now would give an account thereof. I might still add many other names, as well from the learned world, as Theodor, M gge, Geibel, H ring, etc., as from the social circle;—the reckoning is too large. God give me strength for that which I now have to perform, after I have, as an earnest of good will, received such a richly abundant sum.
I have shared part of my proof of the support and kindness I received in Berlin: I feel like someone who has been given a significant amount for a specific purpose by a large group and now needs to report on it. I could still mention many other names, both from the academic world, such as Theodor, M gge, Geibel, H ring, etc., and from my social circle; the list is too extensive. May God give me the strength to fulfill what I now need to do, having received such a generous amount as a sign of goodwill.
After a journey of a day and night I was once more in Weimar, with my noble Hereditary Grand Duke. What a cordial reception! A heart rich in goodness, and a mind full of noble endeavors, live in this young prince. I have no words for the infinite favor, which, during my residence here, I received daily from the family of the Grand Duke, but my whole heart is full of devotion. At the court festival, as well as in the familiar family circle, I had many evidences of the esteem in which I was held. Beaulieu cared for me with the tenderness of a brother. It was to me a month-long Sabbath festival. Never shall I forget the quiet evenings spent with him, when friend spoke freely to friend.
After a day and night of traveling, I was back in Weimar with my noble Hereditary Grand Duke. What a warm welcome! This young prince has a heart full of kindness and a mind dedicated to noble efforts. I can’t express how grateful I am for the endless kindness I received from the Grand Duke’s family during my stay here; my heart is completely devoted to them. At the court celebrations and in the intimate family gatherings, I experienced many signs of the respect they had for me. Beaulieu treated me with the care of a brother. It felt like a month-long holiday for me. I will never forget the peaceful evenings spent with him, where friends could speak openly to each other.
My old friends were also unchanged; the wise and able Sch÷ll, as well as Schober, joined them also. Jenny Lind came to Weimar; I heard her at the court concerts and at the theatre; I visited with her the places which are become sacred through Goethe and Schiller: we stood together beside their coffins, where Chancellor von Muller led us. The Austrian poet, Rollet, who met us here for the first time, wrote on this subject a sweet poem, which will serve me as a visible remembrance of this hour and this place. People lay lovely flowers in their books, and as such, I lay in here this verse of his:—
My old friends were still the same; the wise and capable Schöll and Schober also joined them. Jenny Lind came to Weimar; I heard her at the court concerts and at the theater; I visited the places made sacred by Goethe and Schiller with her: we stood together next to their coffins, where Chancellor von Muller guided us. The Austrian poet, Rollet, who met us here for the first time, wrote a lovely poem about this, which will serve as a tangible memory of this moment and place. People would place beautiful flowers in their books, and like that, I’m placing this verse of his in here:—
Weimar, 29th January, 1846.
Weimar, January 29, 1846.
M rchen rose, which has so often Charmed me with thy fragrant breath; Where the prince, the poets slumber, Thou hast wreathed the hall of death. And with thee beside each coffin, In the death-hushed chamber pale, I beheld a grief-enchanted, Sweetly dreaming nightingale. I rejoiced amid the stillness; Gladness through my bosom past, That the gloomy poets' coffins Such a magic crowned at last. And thy rose's summer fragrance Floated round that chamber pale, With the gentle melancholy Of the grief-hushed nightingale.
Märchen rose, you've often Captivated me with your sweet scent; Where the prince and poets rest, You've adorned the hall of death. And with you beside each coffin, In the silent, pale room, I saw a sorrow-filled, Sweetly dreaming nightingale. I felt joy in the stillness; Happiness flowed through me, That the gloomy poets' coffins Were finally graced with such magic. And your rose's summer fragrance Filled that pale chamber, With the gentle sadness Of the silent nightingale.
It was in the evening circle of the intellectual Froriep that I met, for the first time, with Auerbach, who then chanced to be staying in Weimar. His "Village Tales" interested me in the highest degree; I regard them as the most poetical, most healthy, and joyous production of the young German literature. He himself made the same agreeable impression upon me; there is something so frank and straightforward, and yet so sagacious, in his whole appearance, I might almost say, that he looks himself like a village tale, healthy to the core, body and soul, and his eyes beaming with honesty. We soon became friends—and I hope forever.
It was during the evening gathering of the intellectual Froriep that I first met Auerbach, who happened to be staying in Weimar at the time. His "Village Tales" captivated me immensely; I see them as the most poetic, healthiest, and most joyful work of young German literature. He made the same positive impression on me; there’s something so open and genuine, yet wise, about him that he almost seems like a village tale himself, pure to the core, inside and out, with eyes shining with honesty. We quickly became friends—and I hope it lasts forever.
My stay in Weimar was prolonged; it became ever more difficult to tear myself away. The Grand Duke's birth-day occurred at this time, and after attending all the festivities to which I was invited, I departed. I would and must be in Rome at Easter. Once more in the early morning, I saw the Hereditary Grand Duke, and, with a heart full of emotion, bade him farewell. Never, in presence of the world, will I forget the high position which his birth gives him, but I may say, as the very poorest subject may say of a prince, I love him as one who is dearest to my heart. God give him joy and bless him in his noble endeavors! A generous heart beats beneath the princely star.
My time in Weimar was extended; it became increasingly hard to leave. The Grand Duke's birthday was during this period, and after attending all the celebrations I was invited to, I finally left. I wanted and needed to be in Rome by Easter. Once again, early in the morning, I saw the Hereditary Grand Duke and, with a heart full of emotion, said goodbye to him. I will never forget, in front of the world, the high status his birth gives him, but I can say, just like the humblest subject would about a prince, I love him as someone who is very dear to my heart. May God bring him happiness and bless him in his noble efforts! A generous heart beats beneath the princely star.
Beaulieu accompanied me to Jena. Here a hospitable home awaited me, and filled with beautiful memories from the time of Goethe, the house of the publisher Frommann. It was his kind, warm-hearted sister, who had shown me such sympathy in Berlin; the brother was not here less kind.
Beaulieu went with me to Jena. There, a welcoming home awaited me, filled with beautiful memories from Goethe's time, the house of the publisher Frommann. It was his kind, warm-hearted sister, who had shown me so much sympathy in Berlin; the brother was just as kind.
The Holstener Michelsen, who has a professorship at Jena, assembled a number of friends one evening, and in a graceful and cordial toast for me, expressed his sense of the importance of Danish literature, and the healthy and natural spirit which flourished in it.
The Holstener Michelsen, who is a professor at Jena, gathered a group of friends one evening and, in a thoughtful and friendly toast for me, highlighted the significance of Danish literature and the vibrant, authentic spirit that thrives within it.
In Michelsen's house I also became acquainted with Professor Hase, who, one evening having heard some of my little stories, seemed filled with great kindness towards me. What he wrote in this moment of interest on an album leaf expresses this sentiment:
In Michelsen's house, I also met Professor Hase, who, one evening after hearing some of my short stories, appeared to be very kind to me. What he wrote in that moment of interest on an album page captures this feeling:
"Schelling—not he who now lives in Berlin, but he who lives an immortal hero in the world of mind—once said: 'Nature is the visible spirit.' This spirit, this unseen nature, last evening was again rendered visible to me through your little tales. If on the one hand you penetrate deeply into the mysteries of nature; know and understand the language of birds, and what are the feelings of a fir-tree or a daisy, so that each seems to be there on its own account, and we and our children sympathize with them in their joys and sorrows; yet, on the other hand, all is but the image of mind; and the human heart in its infinity, trembles and throbs throughout. May this fountain in the poet's heart, which God has lent you, still for a time pour forth this refreshingly, and may these stories in the memories of the Germanic nations, become the legends of the people!" That object, for which as a writer of poetical fictions, I must strive after, is contained in these last lines.
"Schelling—not the one who currently lives in Berlin, but the one who exists as an immortal hero in the realm of thought—once said: 'Nature is the visible spirit.' This spirit, this unseen nature, became clear to me again last evening through your little tales. On one hand, you dive deeply into the mysteries of nature; you know and understand the language of birds, and you sense the feelings of a fir-tree or a daisy, so that each seems to exist for its own sake, and we and our children connect with them in their joys and sorrows. Yet, on the other hand, everything is just a reflection of the mind; and the human heart, in its vastness, quivers and pulsates throughout. I hope this wellspring in the poet's heart, which God has gifted you, continues to flow forth with this refreshing clarity for some time, and may these stories in the memories of the Germanic peoples become the legends of the nation!" That elusive goal, which as a writer of poetic fictions I must pursue, is captured in these final lines.
It is also to Hase and the gifted improvisatore, Professor Wolff of Jena, to whom I am most indebted for the appearance of a uniform German edition of my writings.
It is also to Hase and the talented improviser, Professor Wolff from Jena, that I owe my deepest thanks for the creation of a consistent German edition of my works.
This was all arranged on my arrival at Leipzig: several hours of business were added to my traveller's mode of life. The city of bookselling presented me with her bouquet, a sum of money; but she presented me with even more. I met again with Brockhaus, and passed happy hours with Mendelssohn, that glorious man of genius. I heard him play again and again; it seemed to me that his eyes, full of soul, looked into the very depths of my being. Few men have more the stamp of the inward fire than he. A gentle, friendly wife, and beautiful children, make his rich, well-appointed house, blessed and pleasant. When he rallied me about the Stork, and its frequent appearance in my writings, there was something so childlike and amiable revealed in this great artist!
This was all set up when I arrived in Leipzig: several hours of business were added to my travel routine. The city of bookselling welcomed me with a financial gift; but it offered me even more. I reconnected with Brockhaus and spent joyful hours with Mendelssohn, this brilliant genius. I listened to him play over and over; it felt like his soulful eyes were peering into the depths of my being. Few people embody such inner passion as he does. A kind, friendly wife and beautiful children make his well-appointed home rich, blessed, and enjoyable. When he teased me about the Stork and its frequent appearances in my writing, it revealed something so childlike and charming in this great artist!
I also met again my excellent countryman Gade, whose compositions have been so well received in Germany. I took him the text for a new opera which I had written, and which I hope to see brought out on the German stage. Gade had written the music to my drama of Agnete and the Merman, compositions which were very successful. Auerbach, whom I again found here, introduced me to many agreeable circles. I met with the composer Kalliwoda, and with K hne, whose charming little son immediately won my heart.
I also met up again with my talented fellow countryman Gade, whose compositions have been really well received in Germany. I brought him the text for a new opera I had written, which I hope to see performed on the German stage. Gade had composed the music for my play Agnete and the Merman, which had a lot of success. Auerbach, whom I ran into again here, introduced me to many enjoyable circles. I met the composer Kalliwoda and K hne, whose adorable little son instantly captured my heart.
On my arrival at Dresden I instantly hastened to my motherly friend, the Baroness von Decken. That was a joyous hearty welcome! One equally cordial I met with from Dahl. I saw once more my Roman friend, the poet with word and color, Reineck, and met the kind-hearted Bendemann. Professor Grahl painted me. I missed, however, one among my olden friends, the poet Brunnow. With life and cordiality he received me the last time in his room, where stood lovely flowers; now these grew over his grave. It awakens a peculiar feeling, thus for once to meet on the journey of life, to understand and love each other, and then to part—until the journey for both is ended.
When I arrived in Dresden, I quickly went to see my dear friend, Baroness von Decken. The welcome I got was warm and joyful! I received a similarly friendly greeting from Dahl. I saw my Roman friend, the painter and poet, Reineck, once again, and I met the kind-hearted Bendemann. Professor Grahl painted my portrait. However, I missed one of my old friends, the poet Brunnow. He had welcomed me with such life and warmth the last time I visited his room, which was filled with beautiful flowers; now those flowers were growing over his grave. It brings up a unique feeling to meet someone on life's journey, to understand and love each other, and then to part—until the journey ends for both of us.
I spent, to me, a highly interesting evening, with the royal family, who received me with extraordinary favor. Here also the most happy domestic life appeared to reign—a number of amiable children, all belonging to Prince Johann, were present. The least of the Princesses, a little girl, who knew that I had written the history of the Fir-tree, began very confidentially with—"Last Christmas we also had a Fir-tree, and it stood here in this room!" Afterwards, when she was led out before the other children, and had bade her parents and the King and Queen good night, she turned round at the half-closed door, and nodding to me in a friendly and familiar manner, said I was her Fairy-tale Prince.
I had a really interesting evening with the royal family, who welcomed me very warmly. Here, too, it seemed like a happy family life was in full swing—a bunch of lovely kids, all belonging to Prince Johann, were there. The youngest of the princesses, a little girl, who knew that I had written the story of the Fir-tree, confidently said, "Last Christmas, we also had a Fir-tree, and it was right here in this room!" Later, when she was taken out to join the other children, and after saying goodnight to her parents and the King and Queen, she turned around at the half-closed door and, nodding at me in a friendly way, called me her Fairy-tale Prince.
My story of Holger Danske led the conversation to the rich stores of legends which the north possesses. I related several, and explained the peculiar spirit of the fine scenery of Denmark. Neither in this royal palace did I feel the weight of ceremony; soft, gentle eyes shone upon me. My last morning in Dresden was spent with the Minister von K÷nneritz, where I equally met with the most friendly reception.
My story of Holger Danske sparked a conversation about the wealth of legends from the North. I shared several stories and described the unique essence of Denmark's beautiful scenery. In this royal palace, I didn't feel the heaviness of formalities; warm, kind eyes looked upon me. I spent my last morning in Dresden with Minister von Künneritz, where I was also welcomed warmly.
The sun shone warm: it was spring who was celebrating her arrival, as I rolled out of the dear city. Thought assembled in one amount all the many who had rendered my visits so rich and happy: it was spring around me, and spring in my heart.
The sun was shining warmly; it was spring celebrating her arrival as I left the beloved city. Thoughts gathered together of all the people who made my visits so fulfilling and joyful: it was spring all around me, and spring in my heart.
In Prague I had only one acquaintance, Professor Wiesenfeldt. But a letter from Dr. Carus in Dresden opened to me the hospitable house of Count Thun. The Archduke Stephan received me also in the most gracious manner; I found in him a young man full of intellect and heart. Besides it was a very interesting point of time when I left Prague. The military, who had been stationed there a number of years, were hastening to the railway, to leave for Poland, where disturbances had broken out. The whole city seemed in movement to take leave of its military friends; it was difficult to get through the streets which led to the railway. Many thousand soldiers were to be accommodated; at length the train was set in motion. All around the whole hill-side was covered with people; it looked like the richest Turkey carpet woven of men, women and children, all pressed together, head to head, and waving hats and handkerchiefs. Such a mass of human beings I never saw before, or at least, never at one moment surveyed them: such a spectacle could not be painted.
In Prague, I only knew one person, Professor Wiesenfeldt. But a letter from Dr. Carus in Dresden opened the welcoming home of Count Thun to me. The Archduke Stephan received me warmly; I found him to be a young man full of intellect and kindness. It was also a particularly interesting time when I left Prague. The military, stationed there for several years, were rushing to the railway to depart for Poland, where unrest had erupted. The entire city seemed to be in motion, bidding farewell to its military friends; it was challenging to navigate the streets leading to the railway. Thousands of soldiers needed to be accommodated, and finally, the train was set in motion. All around, the hillside was packed with people; it resembled the most vibrant Turkish carpet woven from men, women, and children, all clustered together, head to head, waving hats and handkerchiefs. I had never seen such a mass of humanity before, or at least, never surveyed them all at once: such a sight couldn't be captured in a painting.
We travelled the whole night through wide Bohemia: at every town stood groups of people; it was as though all the inhabitants had assembled themselves. Their brown faces, their ragged clothes, the light of their torches, their, to me, unintelligible language, gave to the whole a stamp of singularity. We flew through tunnel and over viaduct; the windows rattled, the signal whistle sounded, the steam horses snorted—I laid back my head at last in the carriage, and fell asleep under the protection of the god Morpheus.
We traveled all night through vast Bohemia: in every town, there were groups of people, as if all the locals had gathered together. Their sun-kissed faces, torn clothes, the glow of their torches, and their, to me, incomprehensible language gave everything a unique vibe. We sped through tunnels and over bridges; the windows shook, the signal whistle blew, the steam engines puffed—I finally leaned back my head in the carriage and fell asleep under the watch of the god Morpheus.
At Olm tz, where we had fresh carnages, a voice spoke my name—it was Walter Goethe! We had travelled together the whole night without knowing it. In Vienna we met often. Noble powers, true genius, live in Goethe's grandsons, in the composer as well as in the poet; but it is as if the greatness of their grandfather pressed upon them. Liszt was in Vienna, and invited me to his concert, in which otherwise it would have been impossible to find a place. I again heard his improvising of Robert! I again heard him, like a spirit of the storm, play with the chords: he is an enchanter of sounds who fills the imagination with astonishment. Ernst also was here; when I visited him he seized the violin, and this sang in tears the secret of a human heart.
At Olm tz, where we enjoyed fresh dishes, a voice called my name—it was Walter Goethe! We had traveled together all night without realizing it. In Vienna, we often met up. The noble qualities and true genius of Goethe shine through in his grandsons, both the composer and the poet; but it feels like their grandfather's greatness is a burden on them. Liszt was in Vienna and invited me to his concert, where it would have been impossible to get a seat otherwise. I heard his improvisation of Robert again! I once more witnessed him, like a storm spirit, playing with the chords: he is a master of sound who captivates the imagination. Ernst was also there; when I visited him, he picked up the violin, and it beautifully expressed the secret sorrows of a human heart.
I saw the amiable Grillparzer again, and was frequently with the kindly Castelli, who just at this time had been made by the King of Denmark Knight of the Danebrog Order. He was full of joy at this, and begged me to tell my countrymen that every Dane should receive a hearty welcome from him. Some future summer he invited me to visit his grand country seat. There is something in Castelli so open and honorable, mingled with such good-natured humor, that one must like him: he appears to me the picture of a thorough Viennese. Under his portrait, which he gave me, he wrote the following little improvised verse in the style so peculiarly his own:
I ran into the friendly Grillparzer again and spent a lot of time with the kind Castelli, who had just been made a Knight of the Danebrog Order by the King of Denmark. He was really happy about this and asked me to let my fellow countrymen know that every Dane should get a warm welcome from him. He invited me to visit his impressive country estate one summer in the future. There’s something so genuine and honorable about Castelli, mixed with such good-natured humor, that you can’t help but like him; he strikes me as the perfect representation of a true Viennese. Under the portrait he gave me, he wrote this little improvised verse in his unique style:
This portrait shall ever with loving eyes greet thee, From far shall recall the smile of thy friend; For thou, dearest Dane, 'tis a pleasure to meet thee, Thou art one to be loved and esteemed to the end.
This portrait will always greet you with loving eyes, From afar it will remind you of the smile of your friend; For you, dearest Dane, it’s a pleasure to meet you, You are someone to be loved and valued until the end.
Castelli introduced me to Seidl and Bauernfeld. At the Danisti ambassador's, Baron von L÷wenstern, I met Zedlitz. Most of the shining stars of Austrian literature I saw glide past me, as people on a railway see church towers; you can still say you have seen them; and still retaining the simile of the stars, I can say, that in the Concordia Society I saw the entire galaxy. Here was a host of young growing intellects, and here were men of importance. At the house of Count Szechenye, who hospitably invited me, I saw his brother from Pest, whose noble activity in Hungary is known. This short meeting I account one of the most interesting events of my stay in Vienna; the man revealed himself in all his individuality, and his eye said that you must feel confidence in him.
Castelli introduced me to Seidl and Bauernfeld. At the Danisti ambassador's, Baron von Löwenstern, I met Zedlitz. I caught glimpses of many prominent figures in Austrian literature, almost like how passengers on a train see church towers; you can still say you’ve seen them. Similarly, at the Concordia Society, I experienced the whole range of talent. There was a crowd of young, emerging intellects, as well as notable men. At the home of Count Széchényi, who kindly invited me, I met his brother from Pest, known for his noble work in Hungary. This brief encounter stands out as one of the most fascinating moments of my time in Vienna; the man showed his true self, and his eyes conveyed a sense of confidence.
At my departure from Dresden her Majesty the Queen of Saxony had asked me whether I had introductions to any one at the Court of Vienna, and when I told her that I had not, the Queen was so gracious as to write a letter to her sister, the Archduchess Sophia of Austria. Her imperial Highness summoned me one evening, and received me in the most gracious manner. The dowager Empress, the widow of the Emperor Francis I., was present, and full of kindness and friendship towards me; also Prince Wasa, and the hereditary Archduchess of Hesse-Darmstadt. The remembrance of this evening will always remain dear and interesting to me. I read several of my little stories aloud—when I wrote them, I thought least of all that I should some day read them aloud in the imperial palace.
At my departure from Dresden, Her Majesty the Queen of Saxony asked me if I had any introductions at the Court of Vienna. When I said I didn’t, the Queen kindly wrote a letter to her sister, Archduchess Sophia of Austria. One evening, Her Imperial Highness summoned me and welcomed me warmly. The Dowager Empress, the widow of Emperor Francis I, was there, and she was very kind and friendly towards me. Also present were Prince Wasa and the hereditary Archduchess of Hesse-Darmstadt. I will always cherish and find this evening memorable. I read several of my short stories aloud—when I was writing them, I never imagined I would one day read them in the imperial palace.
Before my departure I had still another visit to make, and this was to the intellectual authoress, Frau von Weissenthurn. She had just left a bed of sickness and was still suffering, but wished to see me. As though she were already standing on the threshold of the realm of shades, she pressed my hand and said this was the last time we should ever see each other. With a soft motherly gaze she looked at me, and at parting her penetrating eye followed me to the door.
Before I left, I had one more visit to make, and that was to the thoughtful author, Frau von Weissenthurn. She had just recovered from illness and was still in pain, but wanted to see me. As if she were already on the brink of the afterlife, she took my hand and said this would be the last time we would ever see each other. With a gentle, motherly look, she gazed at me, and as I left, her intense eyes followed me to the door.
With railway and diligence my route now led towards Triest. With steam the long train of carriages flies along the narrow rocky way, following all the windings of the river. One wonders that with all these abrupt turnings one is not dashed against the rock, or flung down into the roaring stream, and is glad when the journey is happily accomplished. But in the slow diligence one wishes its more rapid journey might recommence, and praise the powers of the age.
With the train and coach, my path now took me to Trieste. The steam-powered train zooms along the narrow rocky road, following every twist and turn of the river. It's surprising that with all these sharp bends, one isn't thrown against the rocks or plunged into the raging stream, and it's a relief when the trip is successfully completed. But in the slow coach, I find myself wishing for a quicker journey to start again, appreciating the advancements of our time.
At length Triest and the Adriatic sea lay before us; the Italian language sounded in our ears, but yet for me it was not Italy, the land of my desire. Meanwhile I was only a stranger here for a few hours; our Danish consul, as well as the consuls of Prussia and Oldenburg, to whom I was recommended, received me in the best possible manner. Several interesting acquaintances were made, especially with the Counts O'Donnell and Waldstein, the latter for me as a Dane having a peculiar interest, as being the descendant of that unfortunate Confitz Ulfeld and the daughter of Christian IV., Eleanore, the noblest of all Danish women. Their portraits hung in his room, and Danish memorials of that period were shown me. It was the first time I had ever seen Eleanore Ulfeld's portrait, and the melancholy smile on her lips seemed to say, "Poet, sing and free from chains which a hard age had cast upon him, for whom to live and to suffer was my happiness!" Before Oehlenschl ger wrote his Dina, which treats of an episode in Ulfeld's life, I was at work on this subject, and wished to bring it on the stage, but it was then feared this would not be allowed, and I gave it up—since then I have only written four lines on Ulfeld:—
Finally, Trieste and the Adriatic Sea appeared before us; the Italian language surrounded us, but for me, it still didn’t feel like Italy, the country I longed for. I was just a visitor here for a few hours; our Danish consul, along with the consuls of Prussia and Oldenburg, who had been recommended to me, welcomed me warmly. I made several interesting connections, particularly with Counts O'Donnell and Waldstein, the latter holding special significance for me as a Dane, being a descendant of the unfortunate Confitz Ulfeld and the daughter of Christian IV., Eleanore, the noblest of all Danish women. Their portraits adorned his room, and I was shown Danish memorabilia from that era. It was the first time I had seen Eleanore Ulfeld's portrait, and the melancholy smile on her lips seemed to say, "Poet, sing and break free from the chains that a harsh time has placed upon him, for whom to live and to suffer was my happiness!" Before Oehlenschläger wrote his Dina, which depicts an episode in Ulfeld's life, I was working on this topic and intended to stage it, but at the time, it was feared that this wouldn’t be permitted, so I abandoned the idea—since then, I've only written four lines about Ulfeld:—
Thy virtue was concealed, not so thy failings, Thus did the world thy greatness never know, Yet still love's glorious monument proclaims it, That the best wife from thee would never go.
Your virtues were hidden, but not your flaws, So the world never recognized your greatness, Yet still, love's glorious monument declares it, That the best wife would never leave you.
On the Adriatic sea I, in thought, was carried back to Ulfeld's time and the Danish islands. This meeting with Count Waldstein and his ancestor's portrait brought me back to my poet's world, and I almost forgot that the following day I could be in the middle of Italy. In beautiful mild weather I went with the steam-boat to Ancona.
On the Adriatic Sea, I was transported back to Ulfeld's era and the Danish islands. Meeting Count Waldstein and seeing his ancestor's portrait reminded me of my poet's world, and I nearly forgot that I could be in Italy the next day. In beautiful, mild weather, I took the steamboat to Ancona.
It was a quiet starlight night, too beautiful to be spent in sleep. In the early morning the coast of Italy lay before us, the beautiful blue mountains with glittering snow. The sun shone warmly, the grass and the trees were so splendidly green. Last evening in Trieste, now in Ancona, in a city of the papal states,—that was almost like enchantment! Italy in all its picturesque splendor lay once more before me; spring had ripened all the fruit trees so that they had burst forth into blossom; every blade of grass in the field was filled with sunshine, the elm trees stood like caryatides enwreathed with vines, which shot forth green leaves, and above the luxuriance of foliage rose the wavelike blue mountains with their snow covering. In company with Count Paar from Vienna, the most excellent travelling companion, and a young nobleman from Hungary, I now travelled on with a vetturino for five days: solitary, and more picturesque than habitable inns among the Apennines were our night's quarters. At length the Campagna, with its thought-awakening desolation, lay before us.
It was a calm, starry night, too beautiful to waste on sleep. In the early morning, the coast of Italy stretched out before us, with stunning blue mountains capped in glistening snow. The sun warmed everything, the grass and trees were incredibly lush and green. Last evening in Trieste, now in Ancona, in a city of the papal states—that felt almost magical! Italy, in all its breathtaking beauty, lay before me again; spring had brought the fruit trees into full bloom; every blade of grass in the fields was bathed in sunlight, and the elm trees stood like statues wrapped in vines, which were sprouting fresh green leaves. Above the lush greenery rose the wavy blue mountains cloaked in snow. Traveling with Count Paar from Vienna, my excellent travel companion, and a young nobleman from Hungary, I continued on by carriage for five days: our accommodations at inns were quaint and more picturesque than comfortable among the Apennines. Finally, the Campagna, with its thought-provoking emptiness, lay before us.
It was the 31st of March, 1846, when I again saw Rome, and for the third time in my life should reach this city of the world. I felt so happy, so penetrated with thankfulness and joy; how much more God had given me than a thousand others—nay, than to many thousands! And even in this very feeling there is a blessing—where joy is very great, as in the deepest grief, there is only God on whom one can lean! The first impression was—I can find no other word for it—adoration. When day unrolled for me my beloved Rome, I felt what I cannot express more briefly or better than I did in a letter to a friend: "I am growing here into the very ruins, I live with the petrified gods, and the roses are always blooming, and the church bells ringing—and yet Rome is not the Rome it was thirteen years ago when I first was here. It is as if everything were modernized, the ruins even, grass and bushes are cleared away. Everything is made so neat; the very life of the people seems to have retired; I no longer hear the tamborines in the streets, no longer see the young girls dancing their Saltarella, even in the Campagna intelligence has entered by invisible railroads; the peasant no longer believes as he used to do. At the Easter festival I saw great numbers of the people from the Campagna standing before St. Peters whilst the Pope distributed his blessing, just as though they had been Protestant strangers. This was repulsive to my feelings, I felt an impulse to kneel before the invisible saint. When I was here thirteen years ago, all knelt; now reason had conquered faith. Ten years later, when the railways will have brought cities still nearer to each other, Rome will be yet more changed. But in all that happens, everything is for the best; one always must love Rome; it is like a story book, one is always discovering new wonders, and one lives in imagination and reality."
It was March 31, 1846, when I saw Rome again, and for the third time in my life, I arrived in this city of the world. I felt incredibly happy, filled with gratitude and joy; how much more God had given me than a thousand others—really, than many thousands! And even in this feeling, there is a blessing—when joy is immense, just like in the deepest grief, there is only God to lean on! My first impression was—I can't find any other word for it—adoration. When day revealed my beloved Rome, I felt what I can't express any more simply or better than in a letter to a friend: "I'm merging with the ruins here, living among the petrified gods, with roses always blooming and church bells ringing—and yet Rome is not the same Rome it was thirteen years ago when I first came here. It's as if everything has been modernized, even the ruins, with grass and bushes cleared away. Everything looks so neat; the very life of the people seems to have faded; I no longer hear tambourines in the streets, nor do I see young girls dancing their Saltarella; even in the Campagna, intelligence has come in through invisible railroads; the peasant no longer believes as he used to. At the Easter festival, I saw lots of people from the Campagna standing before St. Peter's while the Pope gave his blessing, just as if they were Protestant strangers. This was upsetting to me; I felt a strong urge to kneel before the invisible saint. When I was here thirteen years ago, everyone knelt; now reason has conquered faith. Ten years from now, when the railways have brought cities even closer together, Rome will be even more changed. But in everything that happens, it's all for the best; one must always love Rome; it’s like a storybook, always discovering new wonders, living in both imagination and reality."
The first time I travelled to Italy I had no eyes for sculpture; in Paris the rich pictures drew me away from the statues; for the first time when I came to Florence and stood before the Venus de Medicis, I felt as Thorwaldsen expressed, "the snow melted away from my eyes;" and a new world of art rose before me. And now at my third sojourn in Rome, after repeated wanderings through the Vatican, I prize the statues far higher than the paintings. But at what other places as at Rome, and to some degree in Naples, does this art step forth so grandly into life! One is carried away by it, one learns to admire nature in the work of art, the beauty of form becomes spiritual.
The first time I traveled to Italy, I didn't pay much attention to sculpture; in Paris, the stunning paintings distracted me from the statues. But when I arrived in Florence and stood in front of the Venus de Medici, I understood what Thorwaldsen meant when he said, "the snow melted away from my eyes;" a whole new world of art opened up to me. Now, on my third visit to Rome, after wandering through the Vatican multiple times, I value the statues much more than the paintings. But in no other places, except for Rome and, to some extent, Naples, does this art come to life so magnificently! It captivates you, and you learn to appreciate nature in the artwork; the beauty of form becomes something spiritual.
Among the many clever and beautiful things which I saw exhibited in the studios of the young artists, two pieces of sculpture were what most deeply impressed themselves on my memory; and these were in the studio of my countryman Jerichau. I saw his group of Hercules and Hebe, which had been spoken of with such enthusiasm in the Allgemeine Zeitung and other German papers, and which, through its antique repose, and its glorious beauty, powerfully seized upon me. My imagination was filled by it, and yet I must place Jerichau's later group, the Fighting Hunter, still higher. It is formed after the model, as though it had sprung from nature. There lies in it a truth, a beauty, and a grandeur which I am convinced will make his name resound through many lands!
Among the many clever and beautiful things I saw displayed in the studios of young artists, two sculptures left the deepest impression on me; both were in the studio of my fellow countryman Jerichau. I admired his group of Hercules and Hebe, which had been praised enthusiastically in the Allgemeine Zeitung and other German newspapers, and its classic tranquility and stunning beauty captivated me. It filled my imagination, yet I must say Jerichau's later piece, the Fighting Hunter, impressed me even more. It looks like it was modeled straight from nature. There's a truth, beauty, and grandeur in it that I believe will make his name known across many lands!
I have known him from the time when he was almost a boy. We were both of us born on the same island: he is from the little town of Assens. We met in Copenhagen. No one, not even he himself, knew what lay within him; and half in jest, half in earnest, he spoke of the combat with himself whether he should go to America and become a savage, or to Rome and become an artist—painter or sculptor; that he did not yet know. His pencil was meanwhile thrown away: he modelled in clay, and my bust was the first which he made. He received no travelling stipendium from the Academy. As far as I know, it was a noble-minded woman, an artist herself, unprovided with means, who, from the interest she felt for the spark of genius she observed in him, assisted him so far that he reached Italy by means of a trading vessel. In the beginning he worked in Thorwaldsen's atelier. During a journey of several years, he has doubtless experienced the struggles of genius and the galling fetters of want; but now the star of fortune shines upon him. When I came to Rome, I found him physically suffering and melancholy. He was unable to bear the warm summers of Italy; and many people said he could not recover unless he visited the north, breathed the cooler air, and took sea-baths. His praises resounded through the papers, glorious works stood in his atelier; but man does not live on heavenly bread alone. There came one day a Russian Prince, I believe, and he gave a commission for the Hunter. Two other commissions followed on the same day. Jerichau came full of rejoicing and told this to me. A few days after he travelled with his wife, a highly gifted painter, to Denmark, from whence, strengthened body and soul, he returned, with the winter, to Rome, where the strokes of his chisel will resound so that, I hope, the world will hear them. My heart will beat joyfully with them!
I’ve known him since he was almost a boy. We were both born on the same island: he’s from the small town of Assens. We met in Copenhagen. No one, not even he himself, knew what was inside him; and half joking, half serious, he discussed his inner struggle about whether to go to America and become a savage or to Rome and become an artist—either a painter or sculptor; he wasn’t sure yet. In the meantime, he had stopped using his pencil and started molding clay, and my bust was the first one he created. He didn’t receive any funding from the Academy. As far as I know, it was a noble woman, an artist herself without resources, who, noticing the spark of genius in him, helped him enough that he could travel to Italy on a trading ship. At first, he worked in Thorwaldsen's studio. Over several years of traveling, he surely faced the struggles of genius and the painful constraints of poverty; but now, fortune is shining on him. When I arrived in Rome, I found him physically unwell and depressed. He couldn’t handle the warm summers of Italy; many people said he wouldn’t recover unless he went north, breathed the cooler air, and took sea baths. His praises echoed in the newspapers, and his remarkable works were in his studio; but a person can’t survive on heavenly bread alone. One day, a Russian prince, I believe, came and commissioned him to create "The Hunter." Two other commissions came in on the same day. Jerichau came to me full of joy and shared this news. A few days later, he traveled with his wife, a highly talented painter, to Denmark, and returned to Rome, renewed in body and spirit, with the winter. There, the sound of his chisel will resonate so that I hope the world will hear it. My heart will beat joyfully along with it!
I also met in Rome, Kolberg, another Danish sculptor, until now only known in Denmark, but there very highly thought of, a scholar of Thorwaldsen's and a favorite of that great master. He honored me by making my bust. I also sat once more with the kindly K chler, and saw the forms fresh as nature spread themselves over the canvas.
I also met in Rome Kolberg, another Danish sculptor who was only known in Denmark until now but was highly regarded there, a student of Thorwaldsen's and a favorite of that great master. He honored me by creating my bust. I also sat again with the kind K chler and watched as the forms, fresh as nature, spread across the canvas.
I sat once again with the Roman people in the amusing puppet theatre, and heard the children's merriment. Among the German artists, as well as among the Swedes and my own countrymen, I met with a hearty reception. My birth-day was joyfully celebrated. Frau von Goethe, who was in Rome, and who chanced to be living in the very house where I brought my Improvisatore into the world, and made him spend his first years of childhood, sent me from thence a large, true Roman bouquet, a fragrant mosaic. The Swedish painter, S÷dermark, proposed my health to the company whom the Danes, Swedes, and Norwegians had invited me to meet. From my friends I received some pretty pictures and friendly keepsakes.
I sat once again with the Roman people in the entertaining puppet theater and heard the children's laughter. Among the German artists, as well as with the Swedes and my fellow countrymen, I received a warm welcome. My birthday was celebrated with joy. Frau von Goethe, who was in Rome and happened to be living in the same house where I created my Improvisatore and where he spent his early childhood, sent me a beautiful, genuine Roman bouquet, a fragrant blend. The Swedish painter, Södermark, proposed a toast to my health in front of the group that the Danes, Swedes, and Norwegians had invited me to join. From my friends, I received some lovely pictures and thoughtful keepsakes.
The Hanoverian minister, K stner, to whose friendship I am indebted for many pleasant hours, is an extremely agreeable man, possessed of no small talent for poetry, music, and painting. At his house I really saw for the first time flower-painting elevated by a poetical idea. In one of his rooms he has introduced an arabesque of flowers which presents us with the flora of the whole year. It commences with the first spring flowers, the crocus, the snow drop, and so on; then come the summer flowers, then the autumn, and at length the garland ends with the red berries and yellow-brown leaves of December.
The Hanoverian minister, K stner, to whom I owe many enjoyable hours, is a very charming man with considerable talent for poetry, music, and painting. In his house, I actually saw flower painting transformed by a poetic idea for the first time. In one of his rooms, he has created a floral arabesque that showcases the plants of the entire year. It starts with the first spring flowers, like crocuses and snowdrops, then moves on to summer flowers, followed by autumn ones, and finally the garland concludes with the red berries and yellow-brown leaves of December.
Constantly in motion, always striving to employ every moment and to see everything, I felt myself at last very much affected by the unceasing sirocco. The Roman air did not agree with me, and I hastened, therefore, as soon as I had seen the illumination of the dome and the girandola, immediately after the Easter festival, through Terracina to Naples. Count Paar travelled with me. We entered St. Lucia: the sea lay before us; Vesuvius blazed. Those were glorious evenings! moonlight nights! It was as if the heavens had elevated themselves above and the stars were withdrawn. What effect of light! In the north the moon scatters silver over the water: here it was gold. The circulating lanterns of the lighthouse now exhibited their dazzling light, now were totally extinguished. The torches of the fishing-boats threw their obelisk-formed blaze along the surface of the water, or else the boat concealed them like a black shadow, below which the surface of the water was illuminated. One fancied one could see to the bottom, where fishes and plants were in motion. Along the street itself thousands of lights were burning in the shops of the dealers in fruit and fish. Now came a troop of children with lights, and went in procession to the church of St. Lucia. Many fell down with their lights; but above the whole stood, like the hero of this great drama of light, Vesuvius with his blood-red flame and his illumined cloud of smoke.
Always on the move, constantly trying to make the most of every moment and see everything, I found myself really affected by the nonstop sirocco. The air in Rome didn’t suit me, so as soon as I had seen the dome’s lights and the girandola, right after Easter, I quickly headed through Terracina to Naples. Count Paar traveled with me. We arrived in St. Lucia: the sea stretched out before us; Vesuvius was aglow. Those were amazing evenings! Moonlit nights! It felt like the heavens elevated, and the stars had faded away. What an effect of light! In the north, the moon spreads silver over the water; here, it was golden. The rotating lights of the lighthouse dazzled at times and then went completely dark. The fishing boats' torches cast their tall, glowing shapes across the water’s surface, or sometimes the boat would hide them like a dark shadow, beneath which the water glowed. One felt as though they could see to the bottom, where fish and plants were moving. Along the street, thousands of lights flickered in the fruit and fish shops. Then a group of children came with lights, marching to the church of St. Lucia. Many stumbled and dropped their lights; but overarching all of this, like the hero in this grand light show, was Vesuvius with its blood-red flame and glowing cloud of smoke.
I visited the islands of Capri and Ischia once more; and, as the heat of the sun and the strong sirocco made a longer residence in Naples oppressive to me, I went to Sarrento, Tasso's city, where the foliage of the vine cast a shade, and where the air appears to me lighter. Here I wrote these pages. In Rome, by the bay of Naples and amid the Pyrenees, I put on paper the story of my life.
I visited the islands of Capri and Ischia again; and since the intense heat of the sun and the strong sirocco made my stay in Naples unbearable, I headed to Sorrento, Tasso's city, where the vine leaves provided shade, and the air felt lighter to me. I wrote these pages here. In Rome, by the Bay of Naples and among the Pyrenees, I documented the story of my life.
The well-known festival of the Madonna dell' Arco called me again to Naples, where I took up my quarters at an hotel in the middle of the city, near the Toledo Street, and found an excellent host and hostess. I had already resided here, but only in the winter. I had now to see Naples in its summer heat and with all its wild tumult, but in what degree I had never imagined. The sun shone down with its burning heat into the narrow streets, in at the balcony door. It was necessary to shut up every place: not a breath of air stirred. Every little corner, every spot in the street on which a shadow fell was crowded with working handicraftsmen, who chattered loudly and merrily; the carriages rolled past; the drivers screamed; the tumult of the people roared like a sea in the other streets; the church bells sounded every minute; my opposite neighbor, God knows who he was, played the musical scale from morning till evening. It was enough to make one lose one's senses!
The famous Madonna dell'Arco festival called me back to Naples, where I stayed at a hotel in the center of the city, near Toledo Street, and found a great host and hostess. I had lived here before, but only in the winter. I was now experiencing Naples in its summer heat and wild chaos, and I had never imagined it would be like this. The sun beat down with its intense heat into the narrow streets and through the balcony door. I had to close everything up; not a breath of air stirred. Every little corner and every spot on the street that had any shade was packed with hardworking craftsmen, chatting loudly and cheerfully; carriages rolled by, drivers yelled, and the noise of the crowd roared like the sea in the other streets. The church bells rang every minute; my neighbor across the way, whoever he was, played the musical scale from morning till evening. It was enough to drive anyone mad!
The sirocco blew its boiling-hot breath and I was perfectly overcome. There was not another room to be had at St. Lucia, and the sea-bathing seemed rather to weaken than to invigorate me. I went therefore again into the country; but the sun burned there with the same beams; yet still the air there was more elastic, yet for all that it was to me like the poisoned mantle of Hercules, which, as it were, drew out of me strength and spirit. I, who had fancied that I must be precisely a child of the sun, so firmly did my heart always cling to the south, was forced to acknowledge that the snow of the north was in my body, that the snow melted, and that I was more and more miserable.
The sirocco blew its scorching breath, and I felt completely overwhelmed. There wasn’t another room available in St. Lucia, and swimming in the sea seemed to weaken me rather than energize me. So, I went back to the countryside; but the sun shone just as harshly there. Still, the air felt more refreshing, yet it still felt like the poisoned cloak of Hercules, which seemed to drain my strength and spirit. I, who had believed I was truly a child of the sun, as my heart always longed for the south, had to accept that the cold of the north was inside me, that the cold was melting, and that I was growing more and more miserable.
Most strangers felt as I myself did in this, as the Neapolitans themselves said, unusually hot summer; the greater number went away. I also would have done the same, but I was obliged to wait several days for a letter of credit; it had arrived at the right time, but lay forgotten in the hands of my banker. Yet there was a deal for me to see in Naples; many houses were open to me. I tried whether the will were not stronger than the Neapolitan heat, but I fell into such a nervous state in consequence, that till the time of my departure I was obliged to lie quietly in my hot room, where the night brought no coolness. From the morning twilight to midnight roared the noise of bells, the cry of the people, the trampling of horses on the stone pavement, and the before-mentioned practiser of the scale—it was like being on the rack; and this caused me to give up my journey to Spain, especially as I was assured, for my consolation, that I should find it just as warm there as here. The physician said that, at this season of the year, I could not sustain the journey.
Most strangers felt as I did during this unusually hot summer, as the Neapolitans themselves said; the majority left. I would have done the same, but I had to wait several days for a letter of credit; it had arrived at the right time but was forgotten in the hands of my banker. Still, there was a lot for me to see in Naples; many places were open to me. I tried to see if my determination was stronger than the Neapolitan heat, but I became so anxious that, until my departure, I had to lie quietly in my hot room, where the night brought no relief. From dawn until midnight, the noise of bells, the sounds of people, the clatter of horses on the cobblestones, and the previously mentioned musician practicing scales made it unbearable—it felt like torture. This ultimately made me cancel my trip to Spain, especially since I was reassured, for comfort, that it would be just as hot there as it was here. The doctor said that, at this time of year, I wouldn’t be able to handle the journey.
I took a berth in the steam-boat Castor for Marseilles; the vessel was full to overflowing with passengers; the whole quarter-deck, even the best place, was occupied by travelling carriages; under one of these I had my bed laid; many people followed my example, and the quarter-deck was soon covered with mattresses and carpets. It blew strongly; the wind increased, and in the second and third night raged to a perfect storm; the ship rolled from side to side like a cask in the open sea; the waves dashed on the ship's side and lifted up their broad heads above the bulwarks as if they would look in upon us. It was as if the carriages under which we lay would crush us to pieces, or else would be washed away by the sea. There was a lamentation, but I lay quiet, looked up at the driving clouds, and thought upon God and my beloved. When at length we reached Genoa most of the passengers went on land: I should have been willing enough to have followed their example, that I might go by Milan to Switzerland, but my letter of credit was drawn upon Marseilles and some Spanish sea-ports. I was obliged to go again on board. The sea was calm; the air fresh; it was the most glorious voyage along the charming Sardinian coast. Full of strength and new life I arrived at Marseilles, and, as I here breathed more easily, my longing to see Spain was again renewed. I had laid the plan of seeing this country last, as the bouquet of my journey. In the suffering state in which I had been I was obliged to give it up, but I was now better. I regarded it therefore as a pointing of the finger of heaven that I should be compelled to go to Marseilles, and determined to venture upon the journey. The steam-vessel to Barcelona had, in the meantime, just sailed, and several days must pass before another set out. I determined therefore to travel by short days' journeys through the south of France across the Pyrenees.
I booked a spot on the steamship Castor heading to Marseilles; the boat was packed with passengers. The entire quarter-deck, including the best area, was filled with traveling carriages; I had my bed set up under one of these. Many others followed my lead, and soon the quarter-deck was covered with mattresses and carpets. The wind picked up strongly, and by the second and third night, it turned into a full-blown storm; the ship rolled side to side like a barrel in the open sea. Waves crashed against the ship's side, towering above the bulwarks as if trying to look in on us. It felt like the carriages we were lying under might crush us or get washed away by the sea. There was a lot of crying out, but I lay still, gazing up at the racing clouds, thinking about God and my loved ones. When we finally reached Genoa, most of the passengers disembarked. I would have been happy to join them and head to Switzerland via Milan, but my letter of credit was only valid in Marseilles and some Spanish ports. I had to get back on board. The sea was calm, the air was fresh; it turned out to be a beautiful journey along the stunning Sardinian coast. Feeling re-energized and alive, I arrived in Marseilles, and as I breathed more easily, my desire to see Spain was reignited. I had planned to explore that country last, as the highlight of my trip. Given my previous suffering, I had to give up that idea, but now I felt better. I saw it as a sign from above that I was meant to go to Marseilles, and I decided to take the journey. In the meantime, the steamship to Barcelona had just set sail, and it would be several days before another departed. So, I decided to travel through southern France in short daily journeys across the Pyrenees.
Before leaving Marseilles, chance favored me with a short meeting with one of my friends from the North, and this was Ole Bull! He came from America, and was received in France with jubilees and serenades, of which I was myself a witness. At the table d'h te in the H tel des Empereurs, where we both lodged, we flew towards each other. He told me what I should have expected least of all, that my works had also many friends in America, that people had inquired from him about me with the greatest interest, and that the English translations of my romances had been reprinted, and spread through the whole country in cheap editions. My name flown over the great ocean! I felt myself at this thought quite insignificant, but yet glad and happy; wherefore should I, in preference to so many thousand others, receive such happiness?
Before leaving Marseilles, I got lucky and had a brief meeting with one of my friends from the North, and that was Ole Bull! He had come from America and was welcomed in France with celebrations and serenades, which I saw myself. At the table d'h te in the H tel des Empereurs, where we were both staying, we rushed to greet each other. He told me something I least expected: that my works also had many fans in America, that people had asked him about me with great interest, and that the English translations of my stories had been reprinted and spread throughout the country in affordable editions. My name had crossed the great ocean! I felt quite insignificant at that thought, but still glad and happy; why should I, out of so many thousands of others, receive such good fortune?
I had and still have a feeling as though I were a poor peasant lad over whom a royal mantle is thrown. Yet I was and am made happy by all this! Is this vanity, or does it show itself in these expressions of my joy?
I’ve always felt like a poor peasant boy who has suddenly been covered with a royal cloak. But I have been and still am made happy by all this! Is this vanity, or does it come through in the way I express my joy?
Ole Bull went to Algiers, I towards the Pyrenees. Through Provence, which looked to me quite Danish, I reached Nismes, where the grandeur of the splendid Roman amphitheatre at once carried me back to Italy. The memorials of antiquity in the south of France I have never heard praised as their greatness and number deserve; the so-called Maison Quar e is still standing in all its splendor, like the Theseus Temple at Athens: Rome has nothing so well preserved.
Ole Bull went to Algiers, while I headed towards the Pyrenees. As I traveled through Provence, which felt very Danish to me, I arrived in Nîmes, where the impressive Roman amphitheater instantly reminded me of Italy. I’ve never heard the ancient sites in the south of France get the recognition they deserve for their greatness and quantity; the so-called Maison Carrée still stands in all its glory, like the Temple of Theseus in Athens: Rome has nothing so well preserved.
In Nismes dwells the baker Reboul, who writes the most charming poems: whoever may not chance to know him from these is, however, well acquainted with him through Lamartine's Journey to the East. I found him at the house, stepped into the bakehouse, and addressed myself to a man in shirt sleeves who was putting bread into the oven; it was Reboul himself! A noble countenance which expressed a manly character greeted me. When I mentioned my name, he was courteous enough to say he was acquainted with it through the Revue de Paris, and begged me to visit him in the afternoon, when he should be able to entertain me better. When I came again I found him in a little room which might be called almost elegant, adorned with pictures, casts and books, not alone French literature, but translations of the Greek classics. A picture on the wall represented his most celebrated poem, "The Dying Child," from Marmier's Chansons du Nord. He knew I had treated the same subject, and I told him that this was written in my school days. If in the morning I had found him the industrious baker, he now was the poet completely; he spoke with animation of the literature of his country, and expressed a wish to see the north, the scenery and intellectual life of which seemed to interest him. With great respect I took leave of a man whom the Muses have not meanly endowed, and who yet has good sense enough, spite of all the homage paid him, to remain steadfast to his honest business, and prefer being the most remarkable baker of Nismes to losing himself in Paris, after a short triumph, among hundreds of other poets.
In Nîmes lives baker Reboul, known for his charming poems. If someone hasn’t heard of him from his poetry, they may know him from Lamartine's Journey to the East. I found him at his house, went into the bakehouse, and spoke to a man in his shirt sleeves who was putting bread into the oven; it was Reboul himself! He greeted me with a noble face that showed a strong character. When I mentioned my name, he kindly said he recognized it from the Revue de Paris and invited me to come back in the afternoon when he could host me better. When I returned, I found him in a small, almost elegant room decorated with pictures, sculptures, and books, featuring not only French literature but also translations of Greek classics. A picture on the wall depicted his most famous poem, "The Dying Child," from Marmier's Chansons du Nord. He knew I had written on the same topic, and I told him that I had written it during my school days. In the morning, I had met him as the hard-working baker, but now he was completely in his element as a poet; he spoke passionately about his country's literature and expressed a desire to visit the north, which fascinated him with its scenery and intellectual life. I took my leave with great respect for a man who has been blessed by the Muses, yet still has the good sense to stay committed to his honest work rather than getting lost among hundreds of other poets in Paris after a brief moment of fame.
By railway I now travelled by way of Montpelier to Cette, with that rapidity which a train possesses in France; you fly there as though for a wager with the wild huntsman. I involuntarily remembered that at Basle, at the corner of a street where formerly the celebrated Dance of Death was painted, there is written up in large letters "Dance of Death," and on the opposite corner "Way to the Railroad." This singular juxtaposition just at the frontiers of France, gives play to the fancy; in this rushing flight it came into my thoughts; it seemed as though the steam whistle gave the signal to the dance. On German railways one does not have such wild fancies.
I now traveled by train from Montpelier to Cette, experiencing the speed that a train offers in France; you zoom along as if racing against a wild hunter. I couldn't help but recall that in Basel, at the corner of a street where the famous Dance of Death used to be painted, there are large signs saying "Dance of Death" and on the opposite corner "Way to the Railroad." This strange pairing right at the border of France sparks the imagination; in the midst of this fast journey, it crossed my mind that the train's whistle sounded like a cue for the dance. You don’t have such wild thoughts on German trains.
The islander loves the sea as the mountaineer loves his mountains!
The islander loves the sea just like the mountaineer loves his mountains!
Every sea-port town, however small it may be, receives in my eyes a peculiar charm from the sea. Was it the sea, in connexion perhaps with the Danish tongue, which sounded in my ears in two houses in Cette, that made this town so homelike to me? I know not, but I felt more in Denmark than in the south of France. When far from your country you enter a house where all, from the master and mistress to the servants, speak your own language, as was here the case, these home tones have a real power of enchantment: like the mantle of Faust, in a moment they transport you, house and all, into your own land. Here, however, there was no northern summer, but the hot sun of Naples; it might even have burnt Faust's cap. The sun's rays destroyed all strength. For many years there had not been such a summer, even here; and from the country round about arrived accounts of people who had died from the heat: the very nights were hot. I was told beforehand I should be unable to bear the journey in Spain. I felt this myself, but then Spain was to be the bouquet of my journey. I already saw the Pyrenees; the blue mountains enticed me—and one morning early I found myself on the steam-boat. The sun rose higher; it burnt above, it burnt from the expanse of waters, myriads of jelly-like medusas filled the river; it was as though the sun's rays had changed the whole sea into a heaving world of animal life; I had never before seen anything like it. In the Languedoc canal we had all to get into a large boat which had been constructed more for goods than for passengers. The deck was coveted with boxes and trunks, and these again occupied by people who sought shade under umbrellas. It was impossible to move; no railing surrounded this pile of boxes and people, which was drawn along by three or four horses attached by long ropes. Beneath in the cabins it was as crowded; people sat close to each other, like flies in a cup of sugar. A lady who had fainted from the heat and tobacco smoke, was carried in and laid upon the only unoccupied spot on the floor; she was brought here for air, but here there was none, spite of the number of fans in motion; there were no refreshments to be had, not even a drink of water, except the warm, yellow water which the canal afforded. Over the cabin windows hung booted legs, which at the same time that they deprived the cabin of light, seemed to give a substance to the oppressive air. Shut up in this place one had also the torment of being forced to listen to a man who was always trying to say something witty; the stream of words played about his lips as the canal water about the boat. I made myself a way through boxes, people, and umbrellas, and stood in a boiling hot air; on either side the prospect was eternally the same, green grass, a green tree, flood-gates—green grass, a green tree, flood-gates—and then again the same; it was enough to drive one insane.
Every port town, no matter how small, has a unique charm that comes from the sea. Was it the sea, perhaps mixed with the Danish language, that echoed in two homes in Cette and made this town feel so familiar to me? I’m not sure, but I felt more connected to Denmark than to the south of France. When you're far from home and step into a house where everyone—from the hosts to the staff—speaks your language, like in this case, those familiar sounds truly have a magical effect: like Faust's cloak, they instantly transport you, house and all, back to your homeland. Yet here, there was no northern summer, just the scorching sun of Naples; it could have even melted Faust's cap. The heat sapped all strength. There hadn’t been a summer like this in many years here, and reports came from the surrounding area of people dying from the heat; even the nights were stifling. I had been warned that I wouldn’t be able to handle the trip to Spain. I felt it, too, but Spain was meant to be the highlight of my journey. I could already see the Pyrenees; the blue mountains called to me—and one early morning, I found myself on the steamboat. The sun climbed higher; it burned above and reflected off the water, where countless jellyfish filled the river; it was as if the sun's rays had turned the entire sea into a writhing mass of life; I had never seen anything like it. In the Languedoc canal, we all had to board a large boat built more for cargo than for passengers. The deck was piled high with boxes and trunks, which were also occupied by people seeking shade under umbrellas. It was impossible to move; there were no railings around this heap of boxes and people, which was pulled along by three or four horses with long ropes. Below deck, it was just as crowded; people were crammed together like flies in a sugar bowl. A lady who fainted from the heat and smoke was carried in and laid down on the only vacant spot on the floor; she was brought here for air, but there was none, despite all the fans waving; there were no refreshments available, not even a sip of water, except for the warm, yellow water from the canal. Boots hung over the cabin windows, which not only blocked out the light but also seemed to weigh down the already heavy air. Trapped in this space, one also had to endure a man who kept trying to be funny; his words flowed from his lips like the canal water around the boat. I pushed my way through boxes, people, and umbrellas and stood in the sweltering air; on either side, the view was perpetually the same: green grass, a green tree, floodgates—green grass, a green tree, floodgates—and then again the same; it was enough to drive someone insane.
At the distance of a half-hour's journey from Beziers we were put on land; I felt almost ready to faint, and there was no carriage here, for the omnibus had not expected us so early; the sun burnt infernally. People say the south of France is a portion of Paradise; under the present circumstances it seemed to me a portion of hell with all its heat. In Beziers the diligence was waiting, but all the best places were already taken; and I here for the first, and I hope for the last time, got into the hinder part of such a conveyance. An ugly woman in slippers, and with a head-dress a yard high, which she hung up, took her seat beside me; and now came a singing sailor who had certainly drunk too many healths; then a couple of dirty fellows, whose first manoeuvre was to pull off their boots and coats and sit upon them, hot and dirty, whilst the thick clouds of dust whirled into the vehicle, and the sun burnt and blinded me. It was impossible to endure this farther than Narbonne; sick and suffering, I sought rest, but then came gensdarmes and demanded my passport, and then just as night began, a fire must needs break out in the neighboring village; the fire alarm resounded, the fire-engines rolled along, it was just as though all manner of tormenting spirits were let loose. From here as far as the Pyrenees there followed repeated demands for your passport, so wearisome that you know nothing like it even in Italy: they gave you as a reason, the nearness to the Spanish frontiers, the number of fugitives from thence, and several murders which had taken place in the neighborhood: all conduced to make the journey in my then state of health a real torment.
After a half-hour journey from Beziers, we were dropped off; I felt like I might faint, and there was no transportation available since the bus didn’t expect us this early. The sun was blazing. People say the south of France is paradise; under these conditions, it felt more like hell because of the heat. In Beziers, the coach was waiting, but all the best seats were already taken, and for the first, and hopefully last, time, I sat in the back of the vehicle. An unattractive woman in slippers and a headscarf a yard high, which she hung up, took the seat next to me; then a singing sailor who had clearly had too much to drink got on. Next came a couple of filthy guys whose first move was to take off their boots and coats and sit on them, hot and dirty, while thick clouds of dust swirled into the vehicle, and the sun burned and blinded me. It was unbearable all the way to Narbonne; feeling sick and uncomfortable, I tried to rest, but then gendarmes showed up and asked for my passport. Just as night began to fall, a fire broke out in the nearby village; the fire alarm blared, and fire engines rolled by, as if all kinds of tormenting spirits had been unleashed. From here to the Pyrenees, there were constant requests for my passport, so tedious that nothing could compare, not even in Italy. They explained that it was due to the proximity of the Spanish border, the number of refugees from there, and several murders that had occurred nearby; all of this made the journey a real torment given my state of health.
I reached Perpignan. The sun had here also swept the streets of people, it was only when night came that they came forth, but then it was like a roaring stream, as though a real tumult were about to destroy the town. The human crowd moved in waves beneath my windows, a loud shout resounded; it pierced through my sick frame. What was that?—what did it mean? "Good evening, Mr. Arago!" resounded from the strongest voices, thousands repeated it, and music sounded; it was the celebrated Arago, who was staying in the room next to mine: the people gave him a serenade. Now this was the third I had witnessed on my journey. Arago addressed them from the balcony, the shouts of the people filled the streets. There are few evenings in my life when I have felt so ill as on this one, the tumult went through my nerves; the beautiful singing which followed could not refresh me. Ill as I was, I gave up every thought of travelling into Spain; I felt it would be impossible for me. Ah, if I could only recover strength enough to reach Switzerland! I was filled with horror at the idea of the journey back. I was advised to hasten as quickly as possible to the Pyrenees, and there breathe the strengthening mountain air: the baths of Vernet were recommended as cool and excellent, and I had a letter of introduction to the head of the establishment there. After an exhausting journey of a night and some hours in the morning, I have reached this place, from whence I sent these last sheets. The air is so cool, so strengthening, such as I have not breathed for months. A few days here have entirely restored me, my pen flies again over the paper, and my thoughts towards that wonderful Spain. I stand like Moses and see the land before me, yet may not tread upon it. But if God so wills it, I will at some future time in the winter fly from the north hither into this rich beautiful land, from which the sun with his sword of flame now holds me back.
I arrived in Perpignan. The sun had also cleared the streets of people here; it was only when night fell that they came out, and then it was like a roaring river, as if a real chaos was about to engulf the town. The crowd surged in waves beneath my windows, a loud cheer echoed; it pierced through my sick body. What was happening?—what did it mean? "Good evening, Mr. Arago!" rang out from the strongest voices, thousands echoed it, and music played; it was the famous Arago, who was staying in the room next to mine: the people were serenading him. This was the third serenade I had seen on my journey. Arago spoke to them from the balcony, and the cheers of the people filled the streets. There are few evenings in my life when I felt as sick as I did that night; the commotion unsettled my nerves; the beautiful singing that followed did nothing to revive me. As ill as I was, I abandoned any thoughts of traveling into Spain; it felt impossible for me. Ah, if I could only regain enough strength to reach Switzerland! The thought of the journey back filled me with dread. I was advised to quickly head to the Pyrenees and breathe the invigorating mountain air: the baths at Vernet were recommended as refreshing and excellent, and I had a letter of introduction to the head of the facility there. After a tiring night of travel and some hours in the morning, I have reached this place, from where I sent these last pages. The air is so cool and invigorating, unlike anything I've breathed in months. A few days here have completely restored me; my pen flies over the paper again, and my thoughts turn to that wonderful Spain. I stand like Moses, seeing the land before me, yet unable to step into it. But if God wills it, I will, at some future winter time, escape from the north to this rich, beautiful land, from which the sun with its blazing sword now keeps me at bay.
Vernet as yet is not one of the well-known bathing places, although it possesses the peculiarity of being visited all the year round. The most celebrated visitor last winter was Ibrahim Pacha; his name still lives on the lips of the hostess and waiter as the greatest glory of the establishment; his rooms were shown first as a curiosity. Among the anecdotes current about him is the story of his two French words, merci and tr s bien, which he pronounced in a perfectly wrong manner.
Vernet isn’t one of the popular spa towns yet, but it’s unique in that people visit it year-round. The most famous guest last winter was Ibrahim Pacha; his name is still spoken by the hostess and waiter as the highlight of the place. His rooms are still shown off as a curiosity. One of the stories people tell about him is how he mispronounced two French words, merci and très bien.
In every respect, Vernet among baths is as yet in a state of innocence; it is only in point of great bills that the Commandant has been able to raise it on a level with the first in Europe. As for the rest, you live here in a solitude, and separated from the world as in no other bathing place: for the amusement of the guests nothing in the least has been done; this must be sought in wanderings on foot or on donkey-back among the mountains; but here all is so peculiar and full of variety, that the want of artificial pleasures is the less felt. It is here as though the most opposite natural productions had been mingled together,—northern and southern, mountain and valley vegetation. From one point you will look over vineyards, and up to a mountain which appears a sample card of corn fields and green meadows, where the hay stands in cocks; from another you will only see the naked, metallic rocks with strange crags jutting forth from them, long and narrow as though they were broken statues or pillars; now you walk under poplar trees, through small meadows, where the balm-mint grows, as thoroughly Danish a production as though it were cut out of Zealand; now you stand under shelter of the rock, where cypresses and figs spring forth among vine leaves, and see a piece of Italy. But the soul of the whole, the pulses which beat audibly in millions through the mountain chain, are the springs. There is a life, a babbling in the ever-rushing waters! It springs forth everywhere, murmurs in the moss, rushes over the great stones. There is a movement, a life which it is impossible for words to give; you hear a constant rushing chorus of a million strings; above and below you, and all around, you hear the babbling of the river nymphs.
In every way, Vernet among baths is still innocent; it’s only in terms of high prices that the Commandant has been able to elevate it to the level of the top spots in Europe. As for everything else, you live here in solitude, more separated from the world than at any other spa: there’s nothing arranged for the guests’ entertainment; instead, fun must be found in wandering on foot or on a donkey through the mountains. However, everything here is so unique and varied that the lack of artificial amusements is hardly noticed. It’s as if the most contrasting natural elements have blended together—northern and southern, mountain and valley vegetation. From one viewpoint, you can see vineyards and a mountain that looks like a sample card of cornfields and green meadows, where hay is piled up; from another, you see only bare, metallic rocks with strange cliffs jutting out, long and narrow as if they’re broken statues or columns. At one moment, you walk beneath poplar trees, through small meadows lush with balm-mint, a plant as distinctly Danish as if it were cut from Zealand; at another, you stand under the shelter of a rock where cypresses and figs sprout among vine leaves, and suddenly it feels like a slice of Italy. But the heart of it all, the pulse that beats audibly in millions throughout the mountain range, is the springs. There’s a life, a bubbling in the ever-flowing waters! They spring up everywhere, murmur in the moss, rush over the large stones. There’s a movement, a life that words can’t capture; you hear a constant rushing chorus of a million strings; above and below you, and all around, you hear the babbling of river spirits.
High on the cliff, at the edge of a steep precipice, lie the remains of a Moorish castle; the clouds hang where hung the balcony; the path along which the ass now goes, leads through the hall. From here you can enjoy the view over the whole valley, which, long and narrow, seems like a river of trees, which winds among the red scorched rocks; and in the middle of this green valley rises terrace-like on a hill, the little town of Vernet, which only wants minarets to look like a Bulgarian town. A miserable church with two long holes as windows, and close to it a ruined tower, form the upper portion, then come the dark brown roofs, and the dirty grey houses with opened shutters instead of windows—but picturesque it certainly is.
High up on the cliff, at the edge of a steep drop, lie the remains of a Moorish castle; the clouds hang where the balcony used to be. The path that the donkey is now traveling leads through the hall. From here, you can take in the view of the entire valley, which, long and narrow, looks like a river of trees winding among the red, scorched rocks. In the middle of this green valley sits the little town of Vernet, which would look like a Bulgarian town if it had minarets. A shabby church with two long holes for windows and a crumbling tower make up the upper part, followed by dark brown roofs and dirty gray houses with open shutters instead of windows—but it's definitely picturesque.
But if you enter the town itself—where the apothecary's shop is, is also the bookseller's—poverty is the only impression. Almost all the houses are built of unhewn stones, piled one upon another, and two or three gloomy holes form door and windows through which the swallows fly out and in. Wherever I entered, I saw through the worn floor of the first story down into a chaotic gloom beneath. On the wall hangs generally a bit of fat meat with the hairy skin attached; it was explained to me that this was used to rub their shoes with. The sleeping-room is painted in the most glaring manner with saints, angels, garlands, and crowns al fresco, as if done when the art of painting was in its greatest state of imperfection.
But if you actually go into the town—where the apothecary’s shop is, and also the bookstore—poverty is the only thing you notice. Almost all the houses are made of rough stones stacked on top of each other, and there are two or three dark openings serving as doors and windows through which swallows come and go. Everywhere I went, I could see through the worn floors of the first story down into a chaotic darkness below. On the wall, there’s usually a chunk of fatty meat with the hairy skin still on it; I was told this is used to rub their shoes. The bedroom is painted in an extremely bright style with saints, angels, garlands, and crowns al fresco, as if the artwork was done when painting was still in a very primitive state.
The people are unusually ugly; the very children are real gnomes; the expression of childhood does not soften the clumsy features. But a few hours' journey on the other side of the mountains, on the Spanish side, there blooms beauty, there flash merry brown eyes. The only poetical picture I retain of Vernet was this. In the market-place, under a splendidly large tree, a wandering pedlar had spread out all his wares,—handkerchiefs, books and pictures,—a whole bazaar, but the earth was his table; all the ugly children of the town, burnt through by the sun, stood assembled round these splendid things; several old women looked out from their open shops; on horses and asses the visitors to the bath, ladies and gentlemen, rode by in long procession, whilst two little children, half hid behind a heap of planks; played at being cocks, and shouted all the time, "kekkeriki!"
The people are really unattractive; even the kids look like little gnomes; the innocence of childhood doesn't soften their awkward features. But just a few hours away on the other side of the mountains, in Spain, beauty thrives, and cheerful brown eyes shine brightly. The only poetic image I have of Vernet is this: in the town square, beneath a beautifully large tree, a wandering peddler had laid out all his goods—handkerchiefs, books, and pictures—a whole market, with the ground as his table; all the unattractive sunburned kids from the town gathered around these amazing items; several old women peered out from their open shops; visitors to the baths, both ladies and gentlemen, rode by in a long line on horses and donkeys, while two little kids, half hidden behind a stack of planks, pretended to be roosters, constantly shouting, "kekkeriki!"
Far more of a town, habitable and well-appointed, is the garrison town of Villefranche, with its castle of the age of Louis XIV., which lies a few hours' journey from this place. The road by Olette to Spain passes through it, and there is also some business; many houses attract your eye by their beautiful Moorish windows carved in marble. The church is built half in the Moorish style, the altars are such as are seen in Spanish churches, and the Virgin stands there with the Child, all dressed in gold and silver. I visited Villefranche one of the first days of my sojourn here; all the visitors made the excursion with me, to which end all the horses and asses far and near were brought together; horses were put into the Commandant's venerable coach, and it was occupied by people within and without, just as though it had been a French public vehicle. A most amiable Holsteiner, the best rider of the company, the well-known painter Dauzats, a friend of Alexander Dumas's, led the train. The forts, the barracks, and the caves were seen; the little town of Cornelia also, with its interesting church, was not passed over. Everywhere were found traces of the power and art of the Moors; everything in this neighborhood speaks more of Spain than France, the very language wavers between the two.
Much more of a livable and well-equipped town is the garrison town of Villefranche, with its castle from the time of Louis XIV, located a few hours away from here. The road from Olette to Spain goes through it, and there are also some businesses; many houses catch your eye with their beautiful Moorish windows carved in marble. The church is partly in the Moorish style, the altars resemble those seen in Spanish churches, and the Virgin stands there with the Child, both dressed in gold and silver. I visited Villefranche early during my stay here; all the visitors joined me on the trip, for which all the horses and donkeys within reach were gathered; horses were placed in the Commandant's old coach, which was full of people inside and out, as if it were a public transport in France. A very friendly Holsteiner, the best rider in the group, the well-known painter Dauzats, a friend of Alexander Dumas, led the way. We saw the forts, the barracks, and the caves; we didn’t skip the small town of Cornelia, with its interesting church. Everywhere there were signs of the power and artistry of the Moors; everything in this area feels more Spanish than French, and even the language shifts between the two.
And here in this fresh mountain nature, on the frontiers of a land whose beauty and defects I am not yet to become acquainted with, I will close these pages, which will make in my life a frontier to coming years, with their beauty and defects. Before I leave the Pyrenees these written pages will fly to Germany, a great section of my life; I myself shall follow, and a new and unknown section will begin.—What may it unfold?—I know not, but thankfully, hopefully, I look forward. My whole life, the bright as well as the gloomy days, led to the best. It is like a voyage to some known point,—I stand at the rudder, I have chosen my path,—but God rules the storm and the sea. He may direct it otherwise; and then, happen what may, it will be the best for me. This faith is firmly planted in my breast, and makes me happy.
And here in this beautiful mountain setting, on the edge of a land whose beauty and flaws I have yet to discover, I will conclude these pages, marking a new chapter in my life with all its beauty and imperfections. Before I leave the Pyrenees, these written pages will be sent to Germany, a significant part of my life; I will soon follow, and a new and unfamiliar chapter will begin.—What will it bring?—I don’t know, but with gratitude and hope, I look ahead. My entire life, the bright days as well as the dark ones, has led me to the best. It’s like a journey to a known destination—I'm at the helm, I’ve chosen my path—but God controls the storms and the sea. He may steer it in a different direction; and whatever happens, it will be what’s best for me. This belief is firmly rooted in my heart and brings me joy.
The story of my life, up to the present hour, lies unrolled before me, so rich and beautiful that I could not have invented it. I feel that I am a child of good fortune; almost every one meets me full of love and candor, and seldom has my confidence in human nature been deceived. From the prince to the poorest peasant I have felt the noble human heart beat. It is a joy to live and to believe in God and man. Openly and full of confidence, as if I sat among dear friends, I have here related the story of my life, have spoken both of my sorrows and joys, and have expressed my pleasure at each mark of applause and recognition, as I believe I might even express it before God himself. But then, whether this may be vanity? I know not: my heart was affected and humble at the same time, my thought was gratitude to God. That I have related it is not alone because such a biographical sketch as this was desired from me for the collected edition of my works, but because, as has been already said, the history of my life will be the best commentary to all my works.
The story of my life, up to now, is laid out before me, so rich and beautiful that I could never have imagined it. I feel like a lucky person; almost everyone I meet treats me with love and sincerity, and my trust in human nature has rarely been betrayed. From the prince to the poorest peasant, I've felt the noble human spirit. It’s a joy to live and to have faith in both God and humanity. Openly and with full confidence, as if I were among close friends, I have shared the story of my life, speaking of my sorrows and joys, and expressing my happiness at every sign of applause and recognition, as I believe I could even do in the presence of God. But could this be vanity? I’m not sure; my heart feels both touched and humble at the same time, and my thought is one of gratitude to God. I’ve shared this not just because I was asked for a biographical sketch for the collected edition of my works, but because, as mentioned before, the story of my life will best comment on all my works.
In a few days I shall say farewell to the Pyrenees, and return through Switzerland to dear, kind Germany, where so much joy has flowed into my life, where I possess so many sympathizing friends, where my writings have been so kindly and encouragingly received, and where also these sheets will be gently criticized, When the Christmas-tree is lighted,—when, as people say, the white bees swarm,—I shall be, God willing, again in Denmark with my dear ones, my heart filled with the flowers of travel, and strengthened both in body and mind: then will new works grow upon paper; may God lay his blessing upon them! He will do so. A star of good fortune shines upon me; there are thousands who deserve it far more than I; I often myself cannot conceive why I, in preference to numberless others, should receive so much joy: may it continue to shine! But should it set, perhaps whilst I conclude these lines, still it has shone, I have received my rich portion; let it set! From this also the best will spring. To God and men my thanks, my love!
In a few days, I'll say goodbye to the Pyrenees and travel back through Switzerland to beloved, kind Germany, where so much happiness has come into my life, where I have many caring friends, where my work has been received with kindness and encouragement, and where these pages will be gently critiqued. When the Christmas tree is lit—when, as people say, the white bees swarm—I hope to be back in Denmark with my loved ones, my heart filled with the joys of travel, and renewed both physically and mentally. New works will then blossom on paper; may God bless them! He surely will. A star of good fortune shines upon me; there are thousands who deserve it much more than I do. I often wonder why I, instead of countless others, receive so much joy: may it keep shining! But even if it sets, perhaps while I finish these lines, it has still shone, and I have received my fair share; let it set! From this, the best will also emerge. My thanks and love go out to God and humanity!
Vernet (Department of the East Pyrenees), July, 1846.
Vernet (Department of the East Pyrenees), July 1846.
H. C. ANDERSEN.
Hans Christian Andersen.
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