This is a modern-English version of Lolly Willowes : or, the loving huntsman, originally written by Warner, Sylvia Townsend. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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Lolly Willowes

OR
THE LOVING HUNTSMAN

SYLVIA
TOWNSEND WARNER


Published by
CHATTO & WINDUS
LONDON
*
CLARKE, IRWIN & CO. LTD
TORONTO


First published 1926


To

BEA ISABEL HOWE

OR
THE LOVING HUNTSMAN

SYLVIA
TOWNSEND WARNER


Published by
CHATTO & WINDUS
LONDON
*
CLARKE, IRWIN & CO. LTD
TORONTO


First published 1926


To

BEA ISABEL HOWE

L O L L Y
W I L L O W E S

Part I

WHEN her father died, Laura Willowes went to live in London with her elder brother and his family.

WHEN her father died, Laura Willowes moved to London to live with her older brother and his family.

‘Of course,’ said Caroline, ‘you will come to us.’

“Of course,” Caroline said, “you’ll come to us.”

‘But it will upset all your plans. It will give you so much trouble. Are you sure you really want me?’

‘But it will mess up all your plans. It will cause you a lot of trouble. Are you sure you really want me?’

‘Oh dear, yes.’

‘Oh dear, yes.’

Caroline spoke affectionately, but her thoughts were elsewhere. They had already journeyed back to London to buy an eiderdown for the bed in the small spare-room. If the washstand were moved towards the door, would it be possible to fit in a writing-table between it and the fireplace? Perhaps a bureau would be better, because of the extra drawers? Yes, that was it. Lolly could bring the little walnut bureau with the false handles on one side and the top that jumped up when you touched the {2}spring by the ink-well. It had belonged to Lolly’s mother, and Lolly had always used it, so Sibyl could not raise any objections. Sibyl had no claim to it whatever, really. She had only been married to James for two years, and if the bureau had marked the morning-room wall-paper, she could easily put something else in its place. A stand with ferns and potted plants would look very nice.

Caroline spoke warmly, but her mind was elsewhere. They had already gone back to London to buy a comforter for the bed in the small guest room. If they moved the washstand closer to the door, would it be possible to fit a writing desk between it and the fireplace? Maybe a writing bureau would be better since it has extra drawers? Yes, that’s it. Lolly could bring the little walnut bureau with the fake handles on one side and the top that pops up when you press the {2}spring by the ink well. It had belonged to Lolly’s mother, and Lolly had always used it, so Sibyl couldn’t object. Sibyl really had no claim to it at all. She had only been married to James for two years, and if the bureau had left a mark on the morning room wallpaper, she could easily replace it with something else. A stand with ferns and potted plants would look really nice.

Lolly was a gentle creature, and the little girls loved her; she would soon fit into her new home. The small spare-room would be rather a loss. They could not give up the large spare-room to Lolly, and the small spare-room was the handiest of the two for ordinary visitors. It seemed extravagant to wash a pair of the large linen sheets for a single guest who came but for a couple of nights. Still, there it was, and Henry was right—Lolly ought to come to them. London would be a pleasant change for her. She would meet nice people, and in London she would have a better chance of marrying. Lolly was twenty-eight. She would have to make haste if she were going to find a husband before she was thirty. Poor Lolly! black was not becoming to her. She looked sallow, and her pale grey eyes were paler and more surprising than ever underneath that {3}very unbecoming black mushroom hat. Mourning was never satisfactory if one bought it in a country town.

Lolly was a sweet person, and the little girls adored her; she would soon settle into her new home. Losing the small spare room would be unfortunate. They couldn't give up the large spare room for Lolly, and the small spare room was easier for regular visitors. It felt excessive to wash a large pair of linen sheets for just one guest staying a couple of nights. Still, it was what it was, and Henry was right—Lolly should come to stay with them. London would be a nice change for her. She would meet great people, and living in London would give her a better chance of finding a husband. Lolly was twenty-eight. She needed to hurry if she wanted to get married before turning thirty. Poor Lolly! Black didn't look good on her. She appeared unhealthy, and her pale grey eyes were even paler and more striking than before under that very unflattering black mushroom hat. Mourning clothes were never satisfactory if you bought them in a small town.

While these thoughts passed through Caroline’s mind, Laura was not thinking at all. She had picked a red geranium flower, and was staining her left wrist with the juice of its crushed petals. So, when she was younger, she had stained her pale cheeks, and had bent over the greenhouse tank to see what she looked like. But the greenhouse tank showed only a dark shadowy Laura, very dark and smooth like the lady in the old holy painting that hung in the dining-room and was called the Leonardo.

While these thoughts crossed Caroline’s mind, Laura was completely distracted. She had picked a red geranium flower and was coloring her left wrist with the juice from its crushed petals. When she was younger, she used to stain her pale cheeks and lean over the greenhouse tank to check her reflection. But the greenhouse tank only revealed a dark, shadowy version of Laura, very dark and smooth like the woman in the old holy painting hanging in the dining room, which was called the Leonardo.

‘The girls will be delighted,’ said Caroline. Laura roused herself. It was all settled, then, and she was going to live in London with Henry, and Caroline his wife, and Fancy and Marion his daughters. She would become an inmate of the tall house in Apsley Terrace where hitherto she had only been a country sister-in-law on a visit. She would recognise a special something in the physiognomy of that house-front which would enable her to stop certainly before it without glancing at the number or {4}the door-knocker. Within it, she would know unhesitatingly which of the polished brown doors was which, and become quite indifferent to the position of the cistern, which had baffled her so one night when she lay awake trying to assemble the house inside the box of its outer walls. She would take the air in Hyde Park and watch the children on their ponies and the fashionable trim ladies in Rotten Row, and go to the theatre in a cab.

‘The girls will be thrilled,’ said Caroline. Laura shook herself awake. It was all decided, then, and she was going to live in London with Henry, and Caroline his wife, and Fancy and Marion his daughters. She would become a resident of the tall house in Apsley Terrace where she had previously been just the country sister-in-law on a visit. She would recognize a special something in the look of that house front that would allow her to stop confidently in front of it without checking the number or {4}the door-knocker. Inside, she would know right away which of the polished brown doors was which, and she would be completely indifferent to the location of the cistern, which had confused her so one night when she lay awake trying to picture the house inside the box of its outer walls. She would enjoy the air in Hyde Park and watch the kids on their ponies and the stylish ladies in Rotten Row, and she would go to the theatre by cab.

London life was very full and exciting. There were the shops, processions of the Royal Family and of the unemployed, the gold tunnel at Whiteley’s, and the brilliance of the streets by night. She thought of the street lamps, so impartial, so imperturbable in their stately diminuendos, and felt herself abashed before their scrutiny. Each in turn would hand her on, her and her shadow, as she walked the unfathomed streets and squares—but they would be familiar then—complying with the sealed orders of the future; and presently she would be taking them for granted, as the Londoners do. But in London there would be no greenhouse with a glossy tank, and no apple-room, and no potting-shed, earthy and warm, with bunches of poppy heads hanging from the ceiling, and sunflower seeds in a wooden box, and bulbs{5} in thick paper bags, and hanks of tarred string, and lavender drying on a tea-tray. She must leave all this behind, or only enjoy it as a visitor, unless James and Sibyl happened to feel, as Henry and Caroline did, that of course she must live with them.

London life was really vibrant and exciting. There were the shops, parades of the Royal Family and the unemployed, the gold tunnel at Whiteley’s, and the dazzling streets at night. She thought about the street lamps, so fair, so calm in their steady glow, and felt a bit shy under their gaze. Each would guide her, along with her shadow, as she walked the unknown streets and squares—but they would feel familiar then—following the planned path of the future; and soon she would take them for granted, like the Londoners do. But in London, there wouldn’t be a greenhouse with a shiny tank, or an apple room, or a cozy potting shed filled with earthy warmth, with clusters of poppy heads hanging from the ceiling, sunflower seeds in a wooden box, and bulbs in thick paper bags, and rolls of tarred string, and lavender drying on a tea tray. She would have to leave all this behind, or only enjoy it as a visitor, unless James and Sibyl felt, like Henry and Caroline did, that she of course had to live with them.

Sibyl said: ‘Dearest Lolly! So Henry and Caroline are to have you.... We shall miss you more than I can say, but of course you will prefer London. Dear old London with its picturesque fogs and its interesting people, and all. I quite envy you. But you mustn’t quite forsake Lady Place. You must come and pay us long visits, so that Tito doesn’t forget his aunt.’

Sibyl said: ‘Dear Lolly! So Henry and Caroline are going to have you.... We’ll miss you more than I can express, but of course you’ll prefer London. Good old London with its charming fogs and its interesting people, and all. I really envy you. But you shouldn’t completely abandon Lady Place. You have to come and visit us for long stays, so that Tito doesn’t forget his aunt.’

‘Will you miss me, Tito?’ said Laura, and stooped down to lay her face against his prickly bib and his smooth, warm head. Tito fastened his hands round her finger.

“Will you miss me, Tito?” Laura asked, bending down to rest her face against his scratchy bib and his soft, warm head. Tito wrapped his hands around her finger.

‘I’m sure he’ll miss your ring, Lolly,’ said Sibyl. ‘You’ll have to cut the rest of your teeth on the poor old coral when Auntie Lolly goes, won’t you, my angel?’

‘I’m sure he’ll miss your ring, Lolly,’ said Sibyl. ‘You’ll have to make do with the old coral once Auntie Lolly is gone, won’t you, my darling?’

‘I’ll give him the ring if you think he’ll really miss it, Sibyl.’

‘I’ll give him the ring if you think he’ll actually miss it, Sibyl.’

Sibyl’s eyes glowed; but she said:

Sibyl’s eyes sparkled; but she said:

‘Oh no, Lolly, I couldn’t think of taking it Why, it’s a family ring.{6}

‘Oh no, Lolly, I can’t take it. Why, it’s a family ring.{6}

When Fancy Willowes had grown up, and married, and lost her husband in the war, and driven a lorry for the Government, and married again from patriotic motives, she said to Owen Wolf-Saunders, her second husband:

When Fancy Willowes grew up, got married, lost her husband in the war, drove a truck for the government, and married again for patriotic reasons, she said to Owen Wolf-Saunders, her second husband:

‘How unenterprising women were in the old days! Look at Aunt Lolly. Grandfather left her five hundred a year, and she was nearly thirty when he died, and yet she could find nothing better to do than to settle down with Mum and Dad, and stay there ever since.’

‘How lacking in ambition women were back in the day! Just look at Aunt Lolly. Grandfather left her five hundred a year, and she was nearly thirty when he passed away, and yet she couldn't find anything better to do than to move in with Mom and Dad and has stayed there ever since.’

‘The position of single women was very different twenty years ago,’ answered Mr. Wolf-Saunders. ‘Feme sole, you know, and feme covert, and all that sort of rot.’

‘The situation for single women was very different twenty years ago,’ answered Mr. Wolf-Saunders. ‘Feme sole, you know, and feme covert, and all that kind of nonsense.’

Even in 1902 there were some forward spirits who wondered why that Miss Willowes, who was quite well off, and not likely to marry, did not make a home for herself and take up something artistic or emancipated. Such possibilities did not occur to any of Laura’s relations. Her father being dead, they took it for granted that she should be absorbed into the household of one brother or the other. And Laura, feeling rather as if she were a piece of family property forgotten in the will, was ready to be disposed of as they should think best.{7}

Even in 1902, there were some progressive people who questioned why Miss Willowes, who was fairly well-off and not likely to marry, didn’t create a home for herself and pursue something artistic or independent. Such ideas didn’t occur to any of Laura’s relatives. With her father gone, they assumed she would simply join the household of one brother or the other. And Laura, feeling somewhat like a forgotten piece of family property in a will, was ready to be handled however they thought was best.{7}

The point of view was old-fashioned, but the Willoweses were a conservative family and kept to old-fashioned ways. Preference, not prejudice, made them faithful to their past. They slept in beds and sat upon chairs whose comfort insensibly persuaded them into respect for the good sense of their forbears. Finding that well-chosen wood and well-chosen wine improved with keeping, they believed that the same law applied to well-chosen ways. Moderation, civil speaking, leisure of the mind and a handsome simplicity were canons of behaviour imposed upon them by the example of their ancestors.

The perspective was outdated, but the Willoweses were a traditional family that stuck to old ways. It was preference, not prejudice, that kept them loyal to their history. They slept in beds and sat in chairs that comfortably reminded them to respect the wisdom of their ancestors. Knowing that good wood and fine wine got better with age, they thought the same principle applied to good habits. Moderation, polite conversation, calm thinking, and a neat simplicity were standards of behavior set for them by their family’s example.

Observing those canons, no member of the Willowes family had risen to much eminence. Perhaps great-great-aunt Salome had made the nearest approach to fame. It was a decent family boast that great-great-aunt Salome’s puff-paste had been commended by King George III. And great-great-aunt Salome’s prayer-book, with the services for King Charles the Martyr and the Restoration of the Royal Family and the welfare of the House of Hanover—a nice example of impartial piety—was always used by the wife of the head of the family. Salome, though married to a Canon of Salisbury, had{8} taken off her embroidered kid gloves, turned up her sleeves, and gone into the kitchen to mix the paste for His Majesty’s eating, her Venice-point lappets dangling above the floury bowl. She was a loyal subject, a devout churchwoman, and a good housewife, and the Willoweses were properly proud of her. Titus, her father, had made a voyage to the Indies, and had brought back with him a green parrokeet, the first of its kind to be seen in Dorset. The parrokeet was named Ratafee, and lived for fifteen years. When he died he was stuffed; and perched as in life upon his ring, he swung from the cornice of the china-cupboard surveying four generations of the Willowes family with his glass eyes. Early in the nineteenth century one eye fell out and was lost. The eye which replaced it was larger, but inferior both in lustre and expressiveness. This gave Ratafee a rather leering look, but it did not compromise the esteem in which he was held. In a humble way the bird had made county history, and the family acknowledged it, and gave him a niche in their own.

Observing those standards, no member of the Willowes family had achieved much recognition. Maybe great-great-aunt Salome was the closest to fame. It was a family claim that great-great-aunt Salome’s puff pastry had been praised by King George III. And great-great-aunt Salome’s prayer book, which included services for King Charles the Martyr, the Restoration of the Royal Family, and the welfare of the House of Hanover—a nice example of unbiased devotion—was always used by the wife of the family head. Salome, even though she was married to a Canon of Salisbury, had{8} removed her embroidered kid gloves, rolled up her sleeves, and stepped into the kitchen to prepare the paste for His Majesty’s meal, her Venice-point lappets hanging above the floury bowl. She was a loyal subject, a dedicated churchgoer, and a good homemaker, and the Willowes were genuinely proud of her. Titus, her father, had made a trip to the Indies and returned with a green parakeet, the first of its kind seen in Dorset. The parakeet was named Ratafee and lived for fifteen years. When he died, he was stuffed and perched as he had in life upon his ring, swinging from the china-cupboard’s cornice while observing four generations of the Willowes family with his glass eyes. Early in the nineteenth century, one eye fell out and was lost. The eye that replaced it was larger but inferior in shine and expression. This gave Ratafee a somewhat leering look, but it didn’t diminish the fondness in which he was held. In a humble way, the bird had made local history, and the family recognized it, giving him a special place in their home.

Beside the china-cupboard and beneath Ratafee stood Emma’s harp, a green harp ornamented with gilt scrolls and acanthus leaves in the David manner. When Laura was little she would{9} sometimes steal into the empty drawing-room and pluck the strings which remained unbroken. They answered with a melancholy and distracted voice, and Laura would pleasantly frighten herself with the thought of Emma’s ghost coming back to make music with cold fingers, stealing into the empty drawing-room as noiselessly as she had done. But Emma’s was a gentle ghost. Emma had died of a decline, and when she lay dead with a bunch of snowdrops under her folded palms a lock of her hair was cut off to be embroidered into a picture of a willow tree exhaling its branches above a padded white satin tomb. ‘That,’ said Laura’s mother, ‘is an heirloom of your great-aunt Emma who died.’ And Laura was sorry for the poor young lady who alone, it seemed to her, of all her relations had had the misfortune to die.

Next to the china cabinet and under the Ratafee stood Emma’s harp, a green instrument decorated with gold scrolls and acanthus leaves in the style of David. When Laura was little, she would occasionally sneak into the empty drawing room and strum the unbroken strings. They responded with a sad and distant sound, and Laura would delightfully scare herself with the idea of Emma’s ghost returning to play music with her cold fingers, quietly slipping into the empty drawing room just like she used to. But Emma’s ghost was gentle. Emma had died from an illness, and when she lay lifeless with a bunch of snowdrops in her clasped hands, a lock of her hair was cut off to be embroidered into a picture of a willow tree leaning over a soft white satin tomb. “That,” Laura’s mother said, “is an heirloom from your great-aunt Emma who passed away.” And Laura felt sorry for the poor young lady who, it seemed to her, was the only one among all her relatives to have the misfortune of dying.

Henry, born in 1818, grandfather to Laura and nephew to Emma, became head of the house of Willowes when he was but twenty-four, his father and unmarried elder brother dying of smallpox within a fortnight of each other. As a young man Henry had shown a roving and untraditional temperament, so it was fortunate that he had the licence of a cadet to go his{10} own way. He had taken advantage of this freedom to marry a Welsh lady, and to settle near Yeovil, where his father bought him a partnership in a brewery. It was natural to expect that upon becoming the head of the family Henry would abandon, if not the Welsh wife and the brewery, at least Somerset, and return to his native place. But this he would not do. He had become attached to the neighbourhood where he had spent the first years of his married life; the ill-considered jest of his uncle the Admiral, that Henry was courting a Welshwoman with a tall hat like Mother Shipton’s who would carry her shoes to church, had secretly estranged him from his relations; and—most weighty reason of all—Lady Place, a small solid mansion, which he had long coveted—saying to himself that if ever he were rich enough he would make his wife the mistress of it—just then came into the market. The Willowes obstinacy, which had for so long kept unchanged the home in Dorset, was now to transfer that home across the county border. The old house was sold, and the furniture and family belongings were installed at Lady Place. Several strings of Emma’s harp were broken, some feathers were jolted out of Ratafee’s tail,{11} and Mrs. Willowes, whose upbringing had been Evangelical, was distressed for several Sundays by the goings-on that she found in Salome’s prayer-book. But in the main the Willowes tradition stood the move very well. The tables and chairs and cabinets stood in the same relation to each other as before; the pictures hung in the same order though on new walls; and the Dorset hills were still to be seen from the windows, though now from windows facing south instead of from windows facing north. Even the brewery, untraditional as it was, soon weathered and became indistinguishably part of the Willowes way of life.

Henry, born in 1818, grandfather to Laura and nephew to Emma, became head of the Willowes household when he was just twenty-four, after his father and older brother both died of smallpox within two weeks of each other. As a young man, Henry had a wandering and unconventional spirit, so it was lucky that he had the freedom of a cadet to do things his{10} own way. He took advantage of this freedom by marrying a Welsh woman and settling near Yeovil, where his father bought him a partnership in a brewery. Naturally, everyone expected that once he became the head of the family, Henry would give up—not just his Welsh wife and the brewery—but also Somerset and return to his hometown. But he wouldn’t do that. He had grown fond of the area where he spent the early years of his married life; the careless joke from his uncle the Admiral, that Henry was wooing a Welshwoman with a tall hat like Mother Shipton’s who would take her shoes to church, had secretly caused a rift between him and his relatives; and—most importantly—Lady Place, a small solid house he had long wanted, just came up for sale, making him think that if he ever got rich enough, he would make his wife the mistress of it. The Willowes stubbornness, which had kept the home in Dorset unchanged for so long, was now about to move that home across the county line. The old house was sold, and the furniture and family belongings were moved to Lady Place. Some strings of Emma’s harp were broken, a few feathers fell out of Ratafee’s tail,{11} and Mrs. Willowes, who had been raised in an Evangelical environment, was upset for several Sundays by what she found in Salome’s prayer book. But overall, the Willowes tradition handled the move quite well. The tables, chairs, and cabinets were arranged just like before; the pictures hung in the same order, though on different walls; and the Dorset hills were still visible from the windows, now facing south instead of north. Even the brewery, despite being unconventional, soon blended in seamlessly with the Willowes way of life.

 

Henry Willowes had three sons and four daughters. Everard, the eldest son, married his second cousin, Miss Frances D’Urfey. She brought some more Willowes property to the Somerset house: a set of garnets; a buff and gold tea-service bequeathed her by the Admiral, an amateur of china, who had dowered all his nieces and great-nieces with Worcester, Minton, and Oriental; and two oil-paintings by Italian masters which the younger Titus, Emma’s brother, had bought in Rome whilst travelling for his health. She bore Everard three children:{12} Henry, born in 1867; James, born in 1869; and Laura, born in 1874.

Henry Willowes had three sons and four daughters. Everard, the oldest son, married his second cousin, Miss Frances D’Urfey. She brought some more Willowes property to the Somerset house: a set of garnets; a buff and gold tea set inherited from the Admiral, an amateur of china, who had given all his nieces and great-nieces Worcester, Minton, and Oriental china; and two oil paintings by Italian masters that the younger Titus, Emma’s brother, had purchased in Rome while traveling for his health. She had three children with Everard: {12} Henry, born in 1867; James, born in 1869; and Laura, born in 1874.

On Henry’s birth Everard laid down twelve dozen of port against his coming of age. Everard was proud of the brewery, and declared that beer was the befitting drink for all classes of Englishmen, to be preferred over foreign wines. But he did not extend this ban to port and sherry; it was clarets he particularly despised.

On Henry’s birth, Everard set aside twelve dozen bottles of port for when he turned eighteen. Everard took pride in the brewery and insisted that beer was the drink of choice for all Englishmen, better than foreign wines. However, he didn't include port and sherry in this rule; it was clarets that he especially looked down on.

Another twelve dozen of port was laid down for James, and there it seemed likely the matter would end.

Another twelve dozen of port was set aside for James, and it seemed that would be the end of the matter.

Everard was a lover of womankind; he greatly desired a daughter, and when he got one she was all the dearer for coming when he had almost given up hope of her. His delight upon this occasion, however, could not be so compactly expressed. He could not lay down port for Laura. At last he hit upon the solution of his difficulty. Going up to London upon the mysterious and inadequate pretext of growing bald, he returned with a little string of pearls, small and evenly matched, which exactly fitted the baby’s neck. Year by year, he explained, the necklace could be extended until it encircled the neck of a grown-up young woman at her first ball. The ball, he went on to say, must{13} take place in winter, for he wished to see Laura trimmed with ermine. ‘My dear,’ said Mrs. Willowes, ‘the poor girl will look like a Beefeater.’ But Everard was not to be put off. A stuffed ermine which he had known as a boy was still his ideal of the enchanted princess, so pure and sleek was it, and so artfully poised the small neat head on the long throat. ‘Weasel!’ exclaimed his wife. ‘Everard, how dare you love a minx?’

Everard was a lover of women; he really wanted a daughter, and when he finally had one, she was even more precious because he had almost lost hope of having her. However, his joy at this moment couldn't be contained. He couldn't hand over pearls to Laura. Eventually, he figured out how to solve his dilemma. He went to London under the vague excuse of going bald and came back with a little string of pearls, small and perfectly matched, that fit the baby’s neck. He explained that over the years, the necklace could be lengthened until it fit the neck of a young woman at her first ball. He added that the ball must{13} take place in winter because he wanted to see Laura dressed in ermine. “My dear,” said Mrs. Willowes, “the poor girl will look like a Beefeater.” But Everard wouldn’t be discouraged. A stuffed ermine he remembered from his childhood was still his idea of the perfect princess, so clean and sleek, with a small, well-proportioned head on a long neck. “Weasel!” exclaimed his wife. “Everard, how could you love a minx?”

Laura escaped the usual lot of the new-born, for she was not at all red. To Everard she seemed his very ermine come to true life. He was in love with her femininity from the moment he set eyes on her. ‘Oh, the fine little lady!’ he cried out when she was first shown to him, wrapped in shawls, and whimpering at the keen sunlight of a frosty December morning. Three days after that it thawed, and Mr. Willowes rode to hounds. But he came back after the first kill. ‘’Twas a vixen,’ he said. ‘Such a pretty young vixen. It put me in mind of my own, and I thought I’d ride back to see how she was behaving. Here’s the brush.’

Laura stood out from the typical newborn because she wasn’t red at all. To Everard, she looked like his very own ermine come to life. He fell in love with her femininity the moment he laid eyes on her. “Oh, the lovely little lady!” he exclaimed when she was first shown to him, wrapped in shawls and whimpering at the bright sunlight on a chilly December morning. Three days later, it warmed up, and Mr. Willowes went riding with the hounds. But he returned right after the first kill. “It was a vixen,” he said. “Such a pretty young vixen. It reminded me of my own, and I thought I’d ride back to see how she was doing. Here’s the brush.”

Laura grew up almost as an only child. By the time she was past her babyhood her brothers{14} had gone to school. When they came back for their holidays, Mrs. Willowes would say: ‘Now, play nicely with Laura. She has fed your rabbits every day while you have been at school. But don’t let her fall into the pond.’

Laura grew up nearly as an only child. By the time she was out of her baby years, her brothers{14} had started school. When they returned for their holidays, Mrs. Willowes would say, "Now, play nicely with Laura. She has taken care of your rabbits every day while you’ve been at school. But don’t let her fall into the pond."

Henry and James did their best to observe their mother’s bidding. When Laura went too near the edge of the pond one or the other would generally remember to call her back again; and before they returned to the house, Henry, as a measure of precaution, would pull a wisp of grass and wipe off any tell-tale green slime that happened to be on her slippers. But nice play with a sister so much younger than themselves was scarcely possible. They performed the brotherly office of teaching her to throw and to catch; and when they played at Knights or Red Indians, Laura was dutifully cast for some passive female part. This satisfied the claims of honour; if at some later stage it was discovered that the captive princess or the faithful squaw had slipped away unnoticed to the company of Brewer in the coachhouse or Oliver Cromwell the toad, who lived under the low russet roof of violet leaves near the disused melon pit, it did not much affect the course of the drama. Once, indeed, when Laura as a{15} captive princess had been tied to a tree, her brothers were so much carried away by a series of single combats for her favour that they forgot to come and rescue her before they swore friendship and went off to the Holy Land. Mr. Willowes, coming home from the brewery through a sunset haze of midges, chanced to stroll into the orchard to see if the rabbits had barked any more of his saplings. There he found Laura, sitting contentedly in hayband fetters, and singing herself a story about a snake that had no mackintosh. Mr. Willowes was extremely vexed when he understood from Laura’s nonchalant account what had happened. He took off her slippers and chafed her feet. Then he carried her indoors to his study, giving orders that a tumbler of hot sweet lemonade should be prepared for her immediately. She drank it sitting on his knee while he told her about the new ferret. When Henry and James were heard approaching with war-whoops, Mr. Willowes put her into his leather arm-chair and went out to meet them. Their war-whoops quavered and ceased as they caught sight of their father’s stern face. Dusk seemed to fall on them with condemnation as he reminded them that it was past their supper-time,{16} and pointed out that, had he not happened upon her, Laura would still have been sitting bound to the Bon Chrétien pear-tree.

Henry and James did their best to follow their mother's wishes. When Laura got too close to the edge of the pond, one of them usually remembered to call her back. Before heading home, Henry, just to be safe, would grab a piece of grass and wipe off any green slime from her slippers. However, playing nicely with a sister who was so much younger than them was pretty tough. They took on the big-brother role by teaching her how to throw and catch, and when they played Knights or Red Indians, Laura would be assigned some passive female role. This checked off the box of honor; if later it turned out that the captive princess or the loyal squaw had sneaked away to join Brewer in the coach house or Oliver Cromwell the toad, who lived under the low russet roof of violet leaves near the old melon pit, it didn't really change the outcome of their game. Once, when Laura was tied to a tree as a captive princess, her brothers got so wrapped up in fighting over her attention that they forgot to come rescue her before they swore friendship and headed off to the Holy Land. Mr. Willowes, returning home from the brewery through a dusk filled with midges, happened to wander into the orchard to check if the rabbits had chewed on any more of his saplings. He found Laura happily sitting in hay-banded ropes, singing a story to herself about a snake that didn’t have a raincoat. Mr. Willowes was really annoyed when he realized from Laura's casual explanation what had happened. He took off her slippers and warmed her feet. Then he carried her inside to his study, instructing that a glass of hot sweet lemonade be made for her right away. She drank it while sitting on his lap as he told her about the new ferret. When Henry and James were heard approaching with their war cries, Mr. Willowes set her down in his leather armchair and went out to meet them. Their war cries faltered and stopped when they saw their father's serious expression. A sense of shame fell over them as he reminded them that it was past their supper time, and pointed out that if he hadn’t come across her, Laura would still be tied up to the Bon Chrétien pear tree.

This befell upon one of the days when Mrs. Willowes was lying down with a headache. ‘Something always goes wrong when I have one of my days,’ the poor lady would complain. It was also upon one of Mrs. Willowes’s days that Everard fed Laura with the preserved cherries out of the drawing-room cake. Laura soon became very sick, and the stable-boy was sent off post-haste upon Everard’s mare to summon the doctor.

This happened on a day when Mrs. Willowes was lying down with a headache. “Something always goes wrong when I have one of my days,” the poor lady would complain. It was also on one of Mrs. Willowes's days that Everard fed Laura preserved cherries from the drawing-room cake. Laura soon got very sick, and the stable boy was sent off quickly on Everard’s mare to call the doctor.

Mrs. Willowes made a poor recovery after Laura’s birth; as time went on, she became more and more invalidish, though always pleasantly so. She was seldom well enough to entertain, so Laura grew up in a quiet household. Ladies in mantles of silk or of sealskin, according to the season of the year, would come to call, and sitting by the sofa would say: ‘Laura is growing a big girl now. I suppose before long you will be sending her to a school.’ Mrs. Willowes heard them with half shut eyes. Holding her head deprecatingly upon one side, she returned evasive answers. When by quite shutting her eyes she had persuaded them to go, she would{17} call Laura and say: ‘Darling, aren’t your skirts getting a little short?’

Mrs. Willowes didn’t recover well after Laura was born; over time, she became increasingly frail, though she always maintained a pleasant demeanor. She was rarely well enough to host gatherings, so Laura grew up in a quiet home. Women in silk or sealskin coats, depending on the season, would come to visit and, sitting beside the sofa, would say, “Laura is getting to be quite a big girl now. I suppose you’ll be sending her to school soon.” Mrs. Willowes listened with her eyes half-closed. Tilting her head slightly, she would give vague responses. Once she had closed her eyes completely and convinced them to leave, she would call Laura and say, “Darling, aren’t your skirts getting a little short?”

Then Nannie would let out another tuck in Laura’s ginghams and merinos, and some months would pass before the ladies returned to the attack. They all liked Mrs. Willowes, but they were agreed amongst themselves that she needed bracing up to a sense of her responsibilities, especially her responsibilities about Laura. It really was not right that Laura should be left so much to herself. Poor dear Miss Taylor was an excellent creature. Had she not inquired about peninsulas in all the neighbouring schoolrooms of consequence? But Miss Taylor for three hours daily and Mme. Brevet’s dancing classes in winter did not, could not, supply all Laura’s needs. She should have the companionship of girls of her own age, or she might grow up eccentric. Another little hint to Mrs. Willowes would surely open the poor lady’s eyes. But though Mrs. Willowes received their good counsel with a flattering air of being just about to become impressed by it, and filled up their teacups with a great deal of delicious cream, the silk and sealskin ladies hinted in vain, for Laura was still at home when her mother died.

Then Nannie would let out another tuck in Laura’s ginghams and merinos, and some months would pass before the ladies tried again. They all liked Mrs. Willowes, but they agreed among themselves that she needed to be reminded of her responsibilities, especially regarding Laura. It really wasn’t right for Laura to be left so much on her own. Poor dear Miss Taylor was a wonderful person. Hadn’t she asked about peninsulas in all the neighboring schoolrooms of importance? But Miss Taylor for three hours a day and Mme. Brevet’s dancing classes in winter did not, and could not, meet all of Laura’s needs. She needed the company of girls her own age, or she might grow up to be eccentric. Another little hint to Mrs. Willowes would surely open the poor lady’s eyes. But although Mrs. Willowes accepted their good advice with an eager air, as if she was just about to be impressed by it, and filled their teacups with plenty of delicious cream, the silk and sealskin ladies hinted in vain, for Laura was still at home when her mother died.

During the last few years of her life Mrs.{18} Willowes grew continually more skilled in evading responsibilities, and her death seemed but the final perfected expression of this skill. It was as if she had said, yawning a delicate cat’s yawn, ‘I think I will go to my grave now,’ and had left the room, her white shawl trailing behind her.

During the last few years of her life, Mrs.{18} Willowes got increasingly good at avoiding responsibilities, and her death felt like the ultimate demonstration of this talent. It was as if she had said, letting out a soft cat-like yawn, ‘I think I’ll head to my grave now,’ and then left the room, her white shawl flowing behind her.

Laura mourned for her mother in skirts that almost reached the ground, for Miss Boddle, the family dressmaker, had nice sensibilities and did not think that legs could look sorrowful. Indeed, Laura’s legs were very slim and frisky, they liked climbing trees and jumping over haycocks, they had no wish to retire from the world and belong to a young lady. But when she had put on the new clothes that smelt so queerly, and looking in the mirror saw herself sad and grown-up, Laura accepted the inevitable. Sooner or later she must be subdued into young-ladyhood; and it seemed befitting that the change should come gravely, rather than with the conventional polite uproar and fuss of ‘coming out’—which odd term meant, as far as she could see, and when once the champagne bottles were emptied and the flimsy ball-dress lifted off the thin shoulders, going-in.

Laura mourned for her mother in long skirts, because Miss Boddle, the family dressmaker, believed legs shouldn’t look sad. In fact, Laura’s legs were slim and lively; they loved climbing trees and jumping over haystacks, and they didn’t want to disappear into the world of being a young lady. But after putting on the new clothes that smelled so strange, and looking in the mirror to see a sad, grown-up version of herself, Laura accepted what was inevitable. Sooner or later, she would have to embrace being a young lady; and it felt right for the change to happen solemnly, rather than with the usual polite chaos and fuss of ‘coming out’—which, as far as she could tell, meant going in, once the champagne bottles were empty and the light ball gown was lifted off her delicate shoulders.

As things were, she had a recompense for{19} the loss of her liberty. For Everard needed comfort, he needed a woman to comfort him, and abetted by Miss Boddle’s insinuations Laura was soon able to persuade him that her comfortings were of the legitimate womanly kind. It was easy, much easier than she had supposed, to be grown-up; to be clear-headed and watchful, to move sedately and think before she spoke. Already her hands looked much whiter on the black lap. She could not take her mother’s place—that was as impossible as to have her mother’s touch on the piano, for Mrs. Willowes had learnt from a former pupil of Field, she had the jeu perlé; but she could take a place of her own. So Laura behaved very well—said the Willowes connection, agreeing and approving amongst themselves—and went about her business, and only cried when alone in the potting-shed, where a pair of old gardening gloves repeated to her the shape of her mother’s hands.

As it stood, she had a way to make up for{19} losing her freedom. Everard needed comfort; he needed a woman to be there for him, and with Miss Boddle’s suggestions, Laura quickly managed to convince him that her support was genuine and womanly. It was easy, much easier than she had thought, to act grown-up; to be clear-headed and alert, to move gracefully and think before she spoke. Her hands already looked much whiter against the black fabric of her lap. She couldn’t replace her mother—that was as impossible as replicating her mother’s touch on the piano, since Mrs. Willowes had learned from a previous student of Field, and she had the jeu perlé; but she could carve out her own space. So Laura acted very well—said the Willowes family, agreeing and nodding amongst themselves—and went about her life, only crying when she was alone in the potting shed, where a pair of old gardening gloves reminded her of the shape of her mother’s hands.

Her behaviour was the more important in that neither of her brothers was at home when Mrs. Willowes died. Henry, now a member of the Inner Temple, had just proposed marriage to a Miss Caroline Fawcett. When he returned to London after the funeral it was impossible{20} not to feel that he was travelling out of the shadow that rested upon Lady Place to bask in his private glory of a suitable engagement.

Her behavior was even more significant since neither of her brothers was home when Mrs. Willowes passed away. Henry, now a member of the Inner Temple, had just asked Miss Caroline Fawcett to marry him. When he returned to London after the funeral, it was impossible{20} not to sense that he was moving out of the shadow hanging over Lady Place to enjoy his own personal triumph of a suitable engagement.

He left his father and sister to find consolation in consoling each other. For though James was with them, and though his sorrow was without qualification, they were not likely to get much help from James. He had been in Germany studying chemistry, and when they sent off the telegram Everard and Laura reckoned up how long he would take to reach Lady Place, and planned how they could most comfortingly receive him, for they had already begun to weave a thicker clothing of family kindness against the chill of bereavement. On hearing the crunch of the wagonette in the drive, and the swishing of the wet rhododendrons, they glanced at each other reassuringly, taking heart at the thought of the bright fire in his bedroom, the carefully chosen supper that awaited him. But when he stood before them and they looked at his red twitching face, they were abashed before the austerity of a grief so differently sustained from their own. Nothing they had to offer could remedy that heart-ache. They left him to himself, and sought refuge in each other’s society, as much from his sorrow as{21} theirs, and in his company they sat quietly, like two good children in the presence of a more grown-up grief than they could understand.

He left his father and sister to find comfort in supporting each other. Even though James was with them and his sorrow was profound, they realized they wouldn’t get much help from him. He had been in Germany studying chemistry, and when they sent the telegram, Everard and Laura figured out how long it would take him to arrive at Lady Place. They planned how to warmly welcome him because they had started to build a stronger bond of family warmth to counter the chill of their loss. When they heard the crunch of the wagonette on the drive and the sound of the wet rhododendrons, they exchanged reassuring glances, feeling uplifted at the thought of the bright fire in his bedroom and the carefully prepared dinner waiting for him. But when he finally faced them and they saw his red, twitching face, they felt small in the presence of a grief so different from their own. Nothing they could offer would ease that heartache. They left him to his thoughts and found comfort in each other’s company, seeking refuge from his sorrow as much as from their own, and in his presence, they sat quietly, like two good kids confronted with a deeper sadness than they could grasp.

James might have accepted their self-effacement with silent gratitude; or he might not have noticed it at all—it was impossible to tell. Soon after his return he did a thing so unprecedented in the annals of the family that it could only be explained by the extreme exaltation of mind which possessed him: for without consulting any one, he altered the furniture, transferring a mirror and an almond-green brocade settee from his mother’s room to his own. This accomplished, he came slowly downstairs and went out into the stable-yard where Laura and his father were looking at a litter of puppies. He told them what he had done, speaking drily, as of some everyday occurrence, and when they, a little timidly, tried to answer as if they too thought it a very natural and convenient arrangement, he added that he did not intend to go back to Germany, but would stay henceforth at Lady Place and help his father with the brewery.

James might have accepted their humility with quiet appreciation; or maybe he didn't notice it at all—it was hard to say. Soon after he got back, he did something so unusual for the family that it could only be understood by the overwhelming joy he felt: without consulting anyone, he rearranged the furniture, moving a mirror and an almond-green brocade settee from his mother’s room to his own. Once he did that, he slowly came downstairs and went out to the stable yard where Laura and his father were watching a litter of puppies. He told them what he’d done, speaking dryly, as if it were just another ordinary event, and when they tried to respond a bit hesitantly, acting like they thought it was a perfectly normal and convenient change, he added that he didn’t plan to go back to Germany, but would stay at Lady Place from now on and help his father with the brewery.

Everard was much pleased at this. His faith in the merits of brewing had been rudely jolted by the refusal of his eldest son to have anything to do with it. Even before Henry left school{22} his ambition was set on the law. Hearing him speak in the School Debating Society, one of the masters told him that he had a legal mind. This compliment left him with no doubts as to what career he wished to follow, and before long the legal mind was brought to bear upon his parents. Everard was hurt, and Mrs. Willowes was slightly contemptuous, for she had the old-fashioned prejudice against the learned professions, and thought her son did ill in not choosing to live by his industry rather than by his wits. But Henry had as much of the Willowes determination as either his father or his mother, and his stock of it was twenty-five years younger and livelier than theirs. ‘Times are changed,’ said Everard. ‘A country business doesn’t look the same to a young man as it did in my day.’

Everard was very pleased about this. His faith in the value of brewing had been seriously shaken by his eldest son’s refusal to get involved. Even before Henry finished school{22}, he was focused on becoming a lawyer. After hearing him speak in the School Debating Society, one of the teachers told him he had a knack for law. This compliment left him with no doubts about what career he wanted to pursue, and soon enough, his legal ambitions were directed at his parents. Everard felt hurt, and Mrs. Willowes looked slightly down on him, as she held an old-fashioned bias against learned professions and believed her son was wrong not to make a living through hard work rather than cleverness. However, Henry had just as much determination as either of his parents, and his version of it was twenty-five years younger and more vibrant than theirs. "Times have changed," said Everard. "A country business doesn’t look the same to a young man as it did in my day."

So though a partnership in the brewery seemed the natural destiny for James, Everard was much flattered by his decision, and hastened to put into practice the scientific improvements which his son suggested. Though by nature mistrustful of innovations he hoped that James might be innocently distracted from his grief by these interests, and gave him a new hopper in the same paternal spirit as formerly he had{23} given him a rook-rifle. James was quite satisfied with the working of the hopper. But it was not possible to discover if it had assuaged his grief, because he concealed his feelings too closely, becoming, by a hyperbole of reticence, reserved even about his reserve, so that to all appearances he was no more than a red-faced young man with a moderate flow of conversation.

So even though a partnership in the brewery seemed like the obvious path for James, Everard felt quite flattered by his decision and quickly started to implement the scientific improvements his son suggested. Although he was naturally suspicious of new ideas, he hoped that these interests might help distract James from his grief. He gave him a new hopper, just like he had once given him a rook-rifle, with the same paternal love. James was happy with how the hopper worked. However, it was impossible to tell if it had eased his sorrow, as he kept his feelings hidden too tightly, becoming so reserved that he was even discreet about his own reticence, making him appear to everyone as just a red-faced young man with a fairly moderate amount to say.

Everard and Laura never reached that stage of familiarity with James which allows members of the same family to accept each other on surface values. Their love for him was tinged with awe, the awe that love learns in the moment of finding itself unavailing. But they were glad to have him with them, especially Everard, who was growing old enough to like the prospect of easing his responsibilities, even the inherent responsibility of being a Willowes, on to younger shoulders. No one was better fitted to take up this burden than James. Everything about him, from his seat on a horse to his taste in leather bindings, betokened an integrity of good taste and good sense, unostentatious, haughty, and discriminating.

Everard and Laura never got to that level of closeness with James that allows family members to accept each other just as they are. Their love for him had an element of awe, the kind that love feels when it realizes it can't change anything. But they were happy to have him around, especially Everard, who was getting old enough to appreciate the idea of passing his responsibilities, even the fundamental responsibility of being a Willowes, onto younger generations. No one was better suited to take on that role than James. Everything about him, from how he sat on a horse to his choice in leather books, showed a strong sense of good taste and good judgment—unpretentious, proud, and discerning.

The leather bindings were soon in Laura’s hands. New books were just what she wanted, for she had almost come to the end of the books{24} in the Lady Place library. Had they known this the silk and sealskin ladies would have shaken their heads over her upbringing even more deploringly. But, naturally, it had not occurred to them that a young lady of their acquaintance should be under no restrictions as to what she read, and Mrs. Willowes had not seen any reason for making them better informed.

The leather bindings were soon in Laura’s hands. New books were exactly what she wanted, as she had almost finished the books{24} in the Lady Place library. If they had known this, the silk and sealskin ladies would have disapproved of her upbringing even more. But, of course, it hadn’t crossed their minds that a young woman like her should be free to read whatever she wanted, and Mrs. Willowes hadn’t felt the need to enlighten them.

So Laura read undisturbed, and without disturbing anybody, for the conversation at local tea-parties and balls never happened to give her an opportunity of mentioning anything that she had learnt from Locke on the Understanding or Glanvil on Witches. In fact, as she was generally ignorant of the books which their daughters were allowed to read, the neighbouring mammas considered her rather ignorant. However they did not like her any the worse for this, for her ignorance, if not so sexually displeasing as learning, was of so unsweetened a quality as to be wholly without attraction. Nor had they any more reason to be dissatisfied with her appearance. What beauties of person she had were as unsweetened as her beauties of mind, and her air of fine breeding made her look older than her age.

So Laura read quietly, and without bothering anyone, because the conversations at local tea parties and dances never gave her a chance to mention anything she’d learned from Locke about understanding or Glanvil about witches. In fact, since she was usually unaware of the books that their daughters were allowed to read, the neighboring mothers thought of her as somewhat clueless. However, they didn't hold this against her; her lack of knowledge, while not as appealing as having learned anything, was of such a plain nature that it didn’t attract attention at all. They also had no reason to be unhappy with how she looked. The few attractive qualities she had were as simple as her lack of knowledge, and her air of refinement made her appear older than she really was.

Laura was of a middle height, thin, and rather{25} pointed. Her skin was brown, inclining to sallowness; it seemed browner still by contrast with her eyes, which were large, set wide apart, and of that shade of grey which inclines neither to blue nor green, but seems only a much diluted black. Such eyes are rare in any face, and rarer still in conjunction with a brown colouring. In Laura’s case the effect was too startling to be agreeable. Strangers thought her remarkable-looking, but got no further, and those more accustomed thought her plain. Only Everard and James might have called her pretty, had they been asked for an opinion. This would not have been only the partiality of one Willowes for another. They had seen her at home, where animation brought colour into her cheeks and spirit into her bearing. Abroad, and in company, she was not animated. She disliked going out, she seldom attended any but those formal parties at which the attendance of Miss Willowes of Lady Place was an obligatory civility; and she found there little reason for animation. Being without coquetry she did not feel herself bound to feign a degree of entertainment which she had not experienced, and the same deficiency made her insensible to the duty of every marriageable young woman to be{26} charming, whether her charm be directed towards one special object or, in default of that, universally distributed through a disinterested love of humanity. This may have been due to her upbringing—such was the local explanation. But her upbringing had only furthered a temperamental indifference to the need of getting married—or, indeed, of doing anything positive—and this indifference was reinforced by the circumstances which had made her so closely her father’s companion.

Laura was of average height, thin, and a bit pointed. Her skin was brown, leaning towards a sallow shade; it seemed even browner when compared to her eyes, which were large, wide-set, and a shade of gray that wasn’t quite blue or green, but just a very diluted black. Such eyes are rare on any face and even rarer with brown skin. In Laura’s case, the effect was too striking to be pleasant. Strangers found her interesting but didn’t think much more of it, while those who knew her better considered her plain. Only Everard and James might have called her pretty if asked. This wouldn’t have been just the favoritism of one Willowes for another; they had seen her at home, where her liveliness brought color to her cheeks and spirit to her demeanor. When out in public and among others, she lacked that liveliness. She didn’t enjoy going out and rarely attended any but the formal events where it was expected for Miss Willowes of Lady Place to be present; she found little reason to be lively there. Lacking any flirtation, she didn’t feel compelled to pretend to be entertained when she wasn’t, and this same lack made her oblivious to the expectation that every eligible young woman must be charming, whether aimed at someone special or, in the absence of that, spread out through a general love for humanity. This might have been attributed to her upbringing—such was the local explanation. But her upbringing had only deepened her natural indifference to the idea of getting married—or really, to doing anything at all—and this indifference was strengthened by the circumstances that made her her father’s constant companion.

There is nothing more endangering to a young woman’s normal inclination towards young men than an intimacy with a man twice her own age. Laura compared with her father all the young men whom otherwise she might have accepted without any comparisons whatever as suitable objects for her intentions, and she did not find them support the comparison at all well. They were energetic, good-looking, and shot pheasants with great skill; or they were witty, elegantly dressed, and had a London club; but still she had no mind to quit her father’s company for theirs, even if they should show clear signs of desiring her to do so, and till then she paid them little attention in thought or deed.{27}

There’s nothing more harmful to a young woman’s natural attraction to young men than getting close to a man who is twice her age. Laura compared all the young men, who she might otherwise have thought suitable, to her father, and she found that they didn’t measure up at all. They were energetic, good-looking, and great at shooting pheasants; or they were witty, dressed stylishly, and belonged to a London club. But she still didn’t want to leave her father’s company for theirs, even if they clearly wanted her to, and until then, she hardly paid them any attention, either in thought or action.{27}

When Aunt Emmy came back from India and filled the spare-room with cedar-wood boxes, she exclaimed briskly to Everard: ‘My dear, it’s high time Laura married! Why isn’t she married already?’ Then, seeing a slight spasm of distress at this barrack-square trenchancy pass over her brother’s face, she added: ‘A girl like Laura has only to make her choice. Those Welsh eyes.... Whenever they look at me I am reminded of Mamma. Everard! You must let me give her a season in India.’

When Aunt Emmy returned from India and filled the spare room with cedar boxes, she said to Everard, “My dear, it’s about time Laura got married! Why isn’t she married yet?” Then, noticing a slight look of discomfort on her brother’s face, she continued, “A girl like Laura just needs to choose. Those Welsh eyes... Every time they look at me, I think of Mom. Everard! You have to let me give her a season in India.”

‘You must ask Laura,’ said Everard. And they went out into the orchard together, where Emmy picked up the windfall apples and ate them with the greed of the exile. Nothing more was said just then. Emmy was aware of her false step. Ashamed at having exceeded a Willowes decorum of intervention she welcomed this chance to reinstate herself in her brother’s good graces by an evocation of their childhood under these same trees.

‘You should ask Laura,’ said Everard. They headed out to the orchard together, where Emmy picked up the fallen apples and ate them with the hunger of someone who feels out of place. No more words were exchanged at that moment. Emmy recognized her mistake. Embarrassed for not sticking to the proper conduct of the Willowes, she saw this as an opportunity to redeem herself in her brother’s eyes by reminiscing about their childhood beneath these very trees.

But Everard kept silence for distress. He believed in good faith that his relief at seeing Laura’s budding suitors nipped in their bud was due to the conviction that not one of them was good enough for her. As innocently as the unconcerned Laura might have done, but did{28} not, he waited for the ideal wooer. Now Emmy’s tactless concern had thrown a cold shadow over the remoter future after his death. And for the near future had she not spoken of taking Laura to India? He would be good. He would not say a word to dissuade the girl from what might prove to be to her advantage. But at the idea of her leaving him for a country so distant, for a manner of life so unfamiliar, the warmth went out of his days.

But Everard stayed quiet out of distress. He genuinely believed that his relief at seeing Laura's potential suitors cut short was because he was convinced that none of them were worthy of her. Just like the carefree Laura might have done—though she didn’t—he waited for the perfect match. Now Emmy's thoughtless concern had cast a gloomy shadow over the distant future after his death. And in the near future, hadn’t she mentioned taking Laura to India? He would be good. He wouldn’t say anything to discourage the girl from what could benefit her. But the thought of her leaving him for such a faraway place, for a way of life so unfamiliar, drained the warmth from his days.

Emmy unfolded her plan to Laura; that is to say, unfolded the outer wrappings of it. Laura listened with delight to her aunt’s tales of Indian life. Compounds and mangoes, the early morning rides along the Kilpawk Road, the grunting song of the porters who carried Mem Sahibs in litters up to the hill-stations, parrots flying through the jungle, ayahs with rubies in their nostrils, kid-gloves preserved in pickle jars with screw-tops—all the solemn and simple pomp of old-fashioned Madras beckoned to her, beckoned like the dark arms tinkling with bangles of soft gold and coloured glass. But when the beckonings took the form of Aunt Emmy’s circumstantial invitation Laura held back, demurred this way and that, and pronounced at last the refusal which had been{29} implicit in her mind from the moment the invitation was given.

Emmy shared her plan with Laura; that is, she revealed the details of it. Laura listened eagerly to her aunt’s stories about life in India. The compounds and mangoes, the early morning rides along Kilpawk Road, the porters singing as they carried Mem Sahibs in litters to the hill-stations, parrots flying through the jungle, ayahs adorned with rubies in their noses, kid gloves stored in pickle jars with screw tops—all the serious yet simple charm of old-fashioned Madras called to her, as if the dark arms decorated with bangles of soft gold and colored glass were reaching for her. But when the invitation turned into Aunt Emmy’s detailed proposal, Laura hesitated, wavering back and forth, and finally expressed the refusal that had been{29} in her mind since the moment the invitation was offered.

She did not want to leave her father, nor did she want to leave Lady Place. Her life perfectly contented her. She had no wish for ways other than those she had grown up in. With an easy diligence she played her part as mistress of the house, abetted at every turn by country servants of long tenure, as enamoured of the comfortable amble of day by day as she was. At certain seasons a fresh resinous smell would haunt the house like some rustic spirit. It was Mrs. Bonnet making the traditional beeswax polish that alone could be trusted to give the proper lustre to the elegantly bulging fronts of talboys and cabinets. The grey days of early February were tinged with tropical odours by great-great-aunt Salome’s recipe for marmalade; and on the afternoon of Good Friday, if it were fine, the stuffed foxes and otters were taken out of their glass cases, brushed, and set to sweeten on the lawn.

She didn't want to leave her dad, nor did she want to leave Lady Place. Her life made her perfectly happy. She didn't wish for anything different from the way she had grown up. With a relaxed diligence, she played her role as the head of the household, supported at every turn by long-time country servants who enjoyed the comfortable routine of each day as much as she did. At certain times of the year, a fresh, resinous scent would linger in the house like some country spirit. It was Mrs. Bonnet making the traditional beeswax polish that was the only thing she trusted to give the right shine to the elegantly rounded surfaces of tables and cabinets. The grey days of early February were filled with tropical scents from great-great-aunt Salome’s marmalade recipe; and on Good Friday afternoon, if the weather was nice, the stuffed foxes and otters were brought out of their glass cases, brushed, and set out on the lawn to freshen up.

These were old institutions, they dated from long before Laura’s day. But the gradual deposit of family customs was always going on, and within her own memory the sum of Willowes ways had been augmented. There was the{30} Midsummer Night’s Eve picnic in Potts’s Dingle—cold pigeon-pie and cider-cup, and moth-beset candles flickering on the grass. There was the ceremony of the hop-garland, which James had brought back from Germany, and the pantomime party from the workhouse, and a very special kind of sealing-wax that could only be procured from Padua. Long ago the children had been allowed to choose their birthday dinners, and still upon the seventeenth of July James ate duck and green peas and a gooseberry fool, while a cock-pheasant in all the glory of tail-feathers was set before Laura upon the ninth of December. And at the bottom of the orchard flourished unchecked a bed of nettles, for Nannie Quantrell placed much trust in the property of young nettles eaten as spring greens to clear the blood, quoting emphatically and rhythmically a rhyme her grandmother had taught her:

These were old traditions, dating back long before Laura’s time. But the gradual buildup of family customs kept happening, and during her lifetime, the collection of Willowes ways had grown. There was the{30} Midsummer Night’s Eve picnic in Potts’s Dingle—cold pigeon pie and cider, with moth-infested candles flickering on the grass. There was the hop-garland ceremony that James brought back from Germany, the pantomime party from the workhouse, and a special type of sealing wax that could only be found in Padua. Long ago, the kids had been allowed to choose their birthday dinners, and still, on July 17th, James ate duck and green peas with a gooseberry fool, while a cock pheasant in all its feathered glory was served to Laura on December 9th. And at the bottom of the orchard, a bed of nettles grew freely, because Nannie Quantrell believed in the benefits of young nettles eaten as spring greens to purify the blood, confidently reciting a rhyme her grandmother had taught her:

‘If they would eat nettles in March
And drink mugwort in May, So many beautiful young women
Wouldn't go to the clay.

Laura would very willingly have drunk mugwort in May also, for this rhyme of Nannie’s, so often and so impressively rehearsed, had taken{31} fast hold of her imagination. She had always had a taste for botany, she had also inherited a fancy for brewing. One of her earliest pleasures had been to go with Everard to the brewery and look into the great vats while he, holding her firmly with his left hand, with his right plunged a long stick through the clotted froth which, working and murmuring, gradually gave way until far below through the tumbling, dissolving rent the beer was disclosed.

Laura would have happily drunk mugwort in May, too, because Nannie’s rhyme, which she had heard so many times and so powerfully, had captured her imagination. She had always had an interest in botany and had also inherited a love for brewing. One of her earliest joys had been going with Everard to the brewery and peering into the large vats while he held her securely with his left hand and plunged a long stick into the thick froth with his right, which was bubbling and swirling until, deep down, the beer was revealed through the churning, dissolving mass.

Botany and brewery she now combined into one pursuit, for at the spur of Nannie’s rhyme she turned her attention into the forsaken green byways of the rural pharmacopœia. From Everard she got a little still, from the family recipe-books much information and good advice; and where these failed her, Nicholas Culpepper or old Goody Andrews, who might have been Nicholas’s crony by the respect she had for the moon, were ready to help her out. She roved the countryside for herbs and simples, and many were the washes and decoctions that she made from sweet-gale, water purslane, cowslips, and the roots of succory, while her salads gathered in fields and hedges were eaten by Everard, at first in hope and trust, and afterwards with flattering appetite. Encouraged by him, she{32} even wrote a little book called ‘Health by the Wayside’ commending the use of old-fashioned simples and healing herbs. It was published anonymously at the local press, and fell quite flat. Everard felt much more slighted by this than she did, and bought up the remainders without telling her so. But mugwort was not included in the book, for she was never allowed to test its virtues, and she would not include recipes which she had not tried herself. Nannie believed it to be no less effective than nettles, but she did not know how to prepare it. Once long ago she had made a broth by seething the leaves in boiling water, which she then strained off and gave to Henry and James. But it made them both sick, and Mrs. Willowes had forbidden its further use. Laura felt positive that mugwort tea would not have made her sick. She begged for leave to make trial of it, but to no avail; Nannie’s prohibition was as absolute as that of her mistress. But Nannie had not lost her faith. She explained that the right mugwort for the purpose was a very special kind that did not grow in Somerset, but at the gates of the cobbler in her native village the mugwort grew fair enough. Long after this discussion had taken place, Laura found in{33} Aubrey’s Miscellany a passage quoted from Pliny which told how Artemis had revealed the virtues of mugwort to the dreaming Pericles. She hastened to tell Nannie of this. Nannie was gratified, but she would not admit that her faith needed any buttressing. ‘Those Greeks didn’t know everything!’ she said, and drove a needle into her red cloth emery case, which was shaped like a strawberry and spotted over with small yellow beads.

She now combined botany and brewing into one activity, inspired by Nannie’s rhyme, directing her focus to the overlooked green paths of rural herbal medicine. From Everard, she got a small still, and from the family recipe books, a wealth of information and solid advice; when these resources fell short, Nicholas Culpepper or old Goody Andrews, who might have been Nicholas's companion due to her respect for the moon, were ready to assist her. She explored the countryside for herbs and simples, creating many washes and decoctions from sweet gale, water purslane, cowslips, and the roots of succory, while her salads, gathered from fields and hedges, were eaten by Everard—first with hope and trust, and later with genuine appetite. Encouraged by him, she even wrote a little book called ‘Health by the Wayside,’ promoting the use of traditional simples and healing herbs. It was published anonymously at the local press and didn’t do well at all. Everard felt more slighted by this than she did and quietly bought up the remaining copies without telling her. However, mugwort wasn’t in the book, as she was never allowed to test its benefits, and she wouldn’t include recipes she hadn’t personally tried. Nannie believed it was just as effective as nettles, but she didn’t know how to prepare it. Long ago, she had made a broth by boiling the leaves in water, which she strained and gave to Henry and James. But it made them both nauseous, and Mrs. Willowes had prohibited any further use. Laura was convinced that mugwort tea wouldn’t have made her sick. She begged for permission to try it, but to no avail; Nannie’s ban was as strict as her mistress’s. But Nannie remained confident. She explained that the right mugwort for this purpose was a special kind that didn’t grow in Somerset, but at the cobbler’s gates in her hometown, the mugwort grew quite well. Long after this conversation, Laura found in Aubrey’s Miscellany a passage quoted from Pliny that explained how Artemis had revealed the powers of mugwort to the dreaming Pericles. She rushed to tell Nannie about it. Nannie was pleased but wouldn’t admit her faith needed any support. “Those Greeks didn’t know everything!” she said, as she drove a needle into her red cloth emery case, shaped like a strawberry and dotted with small yellow beads.

For nearly ten years Laura kept house for Everard and James. Nothing happened to disturb the easy serenity of their days except the birth of first one daughter and then another to Henry and Caroline, and this did not disturb it much. Everard, so happy in a daughter, was prepared to be happy in granddaughters also. When Henry apologised to him with dignity for the accident of their sex Everard quoted to him the nursery rhyme about what little boys and girls were made of. Henry was relieved to find his father taking so lightly a possible failure in the Willowes male line, but he wished the old man wouldn’t trifle so. He could not stoop to give his father the lie over this unscientific theory of sex. He observed gloomily that daughters could be very expensive now that so{34} much fuss was being made about the education of women.

For almost ten years, Laura took care of the house for Everard and James. Nothing disrupted the easy calm of their days except for the birth of a daughter first and then another to Henry and Caroline, and that didn’t upset things much. Everard, thrilled to have a daughter, was also ready to be happy about granddaughters. When Henry dignifiedly apologized to him for the accident of having daughters, Everard quoted a nursery rhyme about what little boys and girls are made of. Henry was relieved to see his father taking a potential disappointment in the Willowes male line so lightly, but he wished the old man wouldn’t play around with it. He couldn’t bring himself to tell his father he was wrong about this unscientific view of gender. He observed gloomily that daughters could be very costly now that there was so much emphasis on women's education.

Henry in his fears for the Willowes’ male line had taken it for granted that his brother would never marry. And certainly if to lie very low about a thing is a sign that one is not thinking about it, James had no thought of marriage. He was nearly thirty-three when he announced with his usual quiet abruptness that he was going to marry. The lady of his choice was a Miss Sibyl Mauleverer. She was the daughter of a clergyman, but of a fashionable London clergyman which no doubt accounted for her not being in the least like any clergyman’s daughter seen by Everard and Laura hitherto. Miss Mauleverer’s skirts were so long and so lavish that they lay in folds upon the ground all round her when she stood still, and required to be lifted in both hands before she could walk. Her hats were further off her head than any hats that had yet been seen in Somerset, and she had one of the up to date smooth Aberdeen terriers. It was indeed hard to believe that this distinguished creature had been born and bred in a parish. But nothing could have been more parochial than her determination to love her new relations and to be{35} loved in return. She called Everard Vaterlein, she taught Laura to dance the cake-walk, she taught Mrs. Bonnet to make petits canapés à l’Impératrice; having failed to teach Brewer how to make a rock garden, she talked of making one herself; and though she would have liked old oak better, she professed herself enchanted by the Willowes walnut and mahogany. So assiduously did this pretty young person seek to please that Laura and Everard would have been churlish had they not responded to her blandishments. Each, indeed, secretly wondered what James could see in any one so showy and dashing as Sibyl. But they were too discreet to admit this, even one to the other, and contented themselves with politely wondering what Sibyl could see in such a country sobersides as James.

Henry, worried about the Willowes' male line, had assumed his brother would never marry. And certainly, if keeping quiet about something means you’re not thinking about it, James had no intention of marrying. He was almost thirty-three when he suddenly announced, as usual, that he was going to get married. The woman he chose was Miss Sibyl Mauleverer. She was the daughter of a clergyman, but a fashionable one from London, which probably explained why she was nothing like any clergyman’s daughter Everard and Laura had ever met. Miss Mauleverer’s skirts were so long and extravagant that they draped in folds around her when she stood still, and she needed to lift them with both hands to walk. Her hats sat further off her head than any seen in Somerset before, and she had one of the trendy smooth Aberdeen terriers. It was hard to believe such a refined person had come from a parish. Yet nothing could have been more typical of her than her eagerness to love her new relatives and to be{35} loved in return. She called Everard Vaterlein, taught Laura to dance the cake-walk, and showed Mrs. Bonnet how to make petits canapés à l’Impératrice; after failing to teach Brewer how to create a rock garden, she considered making one herself; and although she would have preferred old oak, she claimed to be enchanted by the Willowes' walnut and mahogany. This charming young woman was so keen to please that Laura and Everard would have seemed rude if they hadn’t responded to her flattery. Each of them secretly wondered what James saw in someone so flashy and flamboyant as Sibyl. But they were too polite to say this, even to each other, and contented themselves with politely speculating what Sibyl could see in such a country bumpkin as James.

Lady Place was a large house, and it seemed proper that James should bring his wife to live there. It also seemed proper that she should take Laura’s place as mistress of the household. The sisters-in-law disputed this point with much civility, each insisting upon the other’s claim like two queens curtseying in a doorway. However Sibyl was the visiting queen and had to yield to Laura in civility, and assume the responsibilities of housekeeping. She jingled{36} them very lightly, and as soon as she found herself to be with child she gave them over again to Laura, who made a point of ordering the petite canapés whenever any one came to dinner.

Lady Place was a big house, and it seemed right for James to bring his wife to live there. It also seemed right that she should take Laura's spot as the head of the household. The sisters-in-law argued about this politely, each asserting her claim like two queens curtsying in a doorway. However, Sibyl was the visiting queen and had to concede to Laura in politeness and take on the responsibilities of managing the house. She handled them very lightly, and as soon as she found out she was pregnant, she handed them back to Laura, who made a point of ordering the petite canapés whenever anyone came for dinner.

Whatever small doubts and regrets Everard and Laura had nursed about James’s wife were put away when Sibyl bore a man child. It would not have been loyal to the heir of the Willowes to suppose that his mother was not quite as well-bred as he. Everard did not even need to remind himself of the Duchess of Suffolk. Titus, sprawling his fat hands over his mother’s bosom, Titus, a disembodied cooing of contentment in the nursery overhead, would have justified a far more questionable match than James had made.

Any small doubts and regrets Everard and Laura had about James’s wife disappeared when Sibyl gave birth to a son. It wouldn't have been fair to think that the heir of the Willowes had a mother who wasn’t as refined as he was. Everard didn't even need to think about the Duchess of Suffolk. Titus, sprawled out with his chubby hands on his mother's chest, Titus, happily cooing in the nursery above, would have justified an even more dubious match than the one James had chosen.

A year later Everard, amid solemnity, lit the solitary candle of his grandson’s first birthday upon the cake that Mrs. Bonnet had made, that Laura had iced, that Sibyl had wreathed with flowers. The flame wavered a little in the draught, and Everard, careful against omens, ordered the French windows to be shut. On so glowing a September afternoon it was strange to see the conifers nodding their heads in the wind and to hear the harsh breath of autumn go forebodingly round the house. Laura gazed at{37} the candle. She understood her father’s alarm and, superstitious also, held her breath until she saw the flame straighten itself and the first little trickle of coloured wax flow down upon the glittering tin star that held the candle. That evening, after dinner, there was a show of fireworks for the school children in the garden. So many rockets were let off by Everard and James that for a while the northern sky was laced with a thicket of bright sedge scattering a fiery pollen. So hot and excited did Everard become in manœuvring this splendour that he forgot the cold wind and took off his coat.

A year later, Everard, with a serious expression, lit the single candle on his grandson’s first birthday cake, made by Mrs. Bonnet, iced by Laura, and decorated with flowers by Sibyl. The flame flickered a bit in the draft, and Everard, wary of bad omens, instructed to have the French windows closed. On such a warm September afternoon, it was odd to see the conifers swaying in the wind and to hear the harsh breath of autumn ominously circling the house. Laura looked at the candle. She sensed her father's unease and, being superstitious herself, held her breath until she saw the flame steady and the first drip of colored wax flow down onto the shiny tin star that held the candle. That evening, after dinner, there was a fireworks display for the schoolchildren in the garden. Everard and James set off so many rockets that for a while, the northern sky was filled with a tangle of bright lights scattering fiery sparks. Everard got so caught up in managing the spectacle that he forgot the chilly wind and took off his coat.

Two days after he complained of a pain in his side. The doctor looked grave as he came out of the bed-chamber, though within it Laura had heard him laughing with his old friend, and rallying him upon his nightcap. Everard had inflammation of the lungs, he told her; he would send for two nurses. They came, and their starched white aprons looked to her like unlettered tombstones. From the beginning her soul had crouched in apprehension, and indeed there was at no time much hope for the old man. When he was conscious he lay very peacefully, his face turned towards the window, watching the swallows fly restlessly from tree to{38} tree. ‘It will be a hard winter,’ he said to Laura. ‘They’re gathering early to go.’ And then: ‘Do you suppose they know where they’re going?’

Two days after he mentioned a pain in his side, the doctor emerged from the bedroom looking serious. Inside, Laura had heard him laughing with his old friend and teasing him about his nightcap. The doctor told her that Everard had lung inflammation and that he would call for two nurses. When they arrived, their stiff white aprons reminded her of unmarked tombstones. From the start, she felt a deep sense of dread, and there really wasn’t much hope for the old man. When he was awake, he lay very peacefully with his face toward the window, watching the swallows fly restlessly from tree to{38} tree. “It will be a harsh winter,” he said to Laura. “They’re gathering early to leave.” Then he asked, “Do you think they know where they’re going?”

‘I’m sure they do,’ she answered, thinking to comfort him. He regarded her shrewdly, smiled, and shook his head. ‘Then they’re wiser than we.’

‘I’m sure they do,’ she replied, trying to comfort him. He looked at her thoughtfully, smiled, and shook his head. ‘Then they’re smarter than we are.’

When grandfather Henry, that masterful man, removed across the border, he was followed by a patriarchal train of manservants and maidservants, mares, geldings, and spaniels, vans full of household stuff, and slow country waggons loaded with nodding greenery. ‘I want to make sure of a good eating apple,’ said he, ‘since I am going to Lady Place for life.’ Death was another matter. The Willowes burial-ground was in Dorset, nor would Henry lie elsewhere. Now it was Everard’s turn. The dead appeared to welcome him without astonishment—the former Everards and Tituses, Lauras and Emmelines; they were sure that he would come, they approved his decision to join them.

When Grandfather Henry, that remarkable man, moved across the border, he was accompanied by a family of servants, horses, and spaniels, along with vans packed with household items and slow country wagons filled with lush greenery. “I want to make sure I have a good eating apple,” he said, “since I’m going to Lady Place for life.” Death was a different story. The Willowes burial ground was in Dorset, and Henry wouldn’t rest anywhere else. Now it was Everard’s turn. The deceased seemed to welcome him without surprise—the former Everards and Tituses, Lauras and Emmelines; they knew he would come, they approved of his choice to join them.

Laura stood by the open grave, but the heap of raw earth and the planks sprawling upon it displeased her. Her eyes strayed to the graves that were completed. Her mind told the tale{39} of them, for she knew them well. Four times a year Mrs. Willowes had visited the family burying place, and as a child Laura had counted it a solemn and delicious honour to accompany her upon these expeditions. In summer especially, it was pleasant to sit on the churchyard wall under the thick roof of lime trees, or to finger the headstones, now hot, now cold, while her mother went from grave to grave with her gauntlet gloves and her gardening basket. Afterwards they would eat their sandwiches in a hayfield, and pay a visit to old Mrs. Dymond, whose sons and grandsons in hereditary office clipped the grass and trimmed the bushes of the family enclosure. As Laura grew older the active part of these excursions fell upon her; and often of late years when she went alone she half yielded her mind to the fancy that the dead mother whose grave she tended was sitting a little apart in the shade, presently to rise and come to meet her, having just recalled and delicately elaborated some odd trait of a neighbouring great-uncle.

Laura stood by the open grave, but the pile of fresh dirt and the boards sprawled across it annoyed her. Her gaze drifted to the graves that were finished. She was familiar with the stories behind them{39}, having known them well. Four times a year, Mrs. Willowes had visited the family burial site, and as a child, Laura had considered it a solemn and sweet privilege to accompany her on these trips. In the summer, especially, it was nice to sit on the churchyard wall under the dense canopy of lime trees or to touch the headstones, warm one moment and cold the next, while her mother moved from grave to grave with her garden gloves and basket. Afterward, they would eat their sandwiches in a hayfield and visit old Mrs. Dymond, whose sons and grandsons traditionally mowed the grass and trimmed the bushes of the family plot. As Laura grew older, the active part of these outings fell to her; and often, in recent years, when she went alone, she entertained the idea that her deceased mother, whose grave she cared for, was sitting a little off in the shade, about to rise and come meet her, having just recalled and delicately elaborated some quirky trait of a distant great-uncle.

The bees droned in the motionless lime trees. A hot ginny churchyard smell detached itself in a leisurely way from the evergreens when the mourners brushed by them. The sun, but{40} an hour or so declined, shone with an ardent and steadfast interest upon the little group. ‘In the midst of life we are in death,’ said Mr. Warbury, his voice sounding rather shameless taken out of church and displayed upon the basking echoless air. ‘In the midst of death we are in life,’ Laura thought, would be a more accurate expression of the moment. Her small body encased in tremendous sunlight seemed to throb with an intense vitality, impersonally responding to heat, scent, and colour. With blind clear-sighted eyes she saw the coffin lowered into the grave, and the earth shovelled in on top of it. She was aware of movement around her, of a loosening texture of onlookers, of footsteps and departures. But it did not occur to her that the time was come when she too must depart. She stood and watched the sexton, who had set to work now in a more business-like fashion. An arm was put through hers. A voice said: ‘Dear Laura! we must go now,’ and Caroline led her away. Tears ran down Caroline’s face; she seemed to be weeping because it was time to go.

The bees buzzed in the still lime trees. A hot, churchyard smell drifted lazily from the evergreens as the mourners passed by. The sun, about an hour or so from setting, shone down warmly and steadily on the small group. "In the midst of life, we are in death," Mr. Warbury said, his voice sounding a bit out of place, as if taken from church and laid bare in the quiet air. "In the midst of death, we are in life," Laura thought, would be a better way to describe the moment. Her small body, wrapped in intense sunlight, seemed to pulse with a vibrant energy, responding to the heat, scent, and colors around her. With unseeing yet perceptive eyes, she watched the coffin being lowered into the grave and the earth shoveled on top of it. She sensed movement around her, the shifting of onlookers, footsteps, and departures. But it didn’t dawn on her that it was time for her to leave too. She stood there watching the sexton, who was now working in a more efficient way. An arm slipped through hers. A voice said, "Dear Laura! We have to go now," and Caroline guided her away. Tears streamed down Caroline's face; she seemed to be crying simply because it was time to go.

Laura would have turned for one more backward look, but Caroline prevented her. Her tears ran faster and she shook her head and{41} sighed. They reached the gate. It closed behind them with a contented click, for they were the last to leave.

Laura would have turned for one last look back, but Caroline stopped her. Tears streamed down her face as she shook her head and{41} sighed. They reached the gate. It shut behind them with a satisfying click, since they were the last ones to leave.

Opposite the churchyard were the gates of the old home. The drive was long, straight, and formal; it had been a cart-track across a meadow when the old home was a farm. At the end of the drive stood the grey stone house. A purple clematis muffled the porch, and a white cat lay asleep in a bed of nasturtiums. The blinds were drawn down in respect to the dead. Laura looked at it. Since her earliest childhood it had been a familiar sight, a familiar thought. But now she saw it with different eyes: a prescience of exile came over her and, forgetting Lady Place, she looked with the yearning of an outcast at the dwelling so long ago discarded. The house was like an old blind nurse sitting in the sun and ruminating past events. It seemed an act of the most horrible ingratitude to leave it all and go away without one word of love. But the gates were shut, the time of welcome was gone by.

Opposite the churchyard were the gates of the old home. The driveway was long, straight, and formal; it had once been a cart track across a meadow when the old home was a farm. At the end of the driveway stood the grey stone house. A purple clematis covered the porch, and a white cat lay asleep in a bed of nasturtiums. The blinds were pulled down out of respect for the dead. Laura looked at it. Since her earliest childhood, it had been a familiar sight, a familiar thought. But now she saw it with different eyes: a sense of exile washed over her and, forgetting Lady Place, she looked longingly at the home she had left behind. The house was like an old, blind nurse sitting in the sun and reflecting on past events. It felt deeply ungrateful to leave it all behind and go away without a single word of love. But the gates were shut, and the time of welcome had passed.

For a while they stood in the road, none making a move, each waiting for the other’s lead. A tall poplar grew on the left hand of the churchyard gate. Its scant shadow scarcely{42} indented the white surface of the road. A quantity of wasps were buzzing about its trunk, and presently one of the wasps stung Henry. This seemed to be the spur that they were all waiting for; they turned and walked to the corner of the road where the carriages stood that were to drive them back to the station.

For a while, they stood on the road, none of them moving, each waiting for the other to take the lead. A tall poplar tree grew on the left side of the churchyard gate. Its minimal shadow barely{42} marked the white surface of the road. A bunch of wasps were buzzing around its trunk, and soon one of the wasps stung Henry. This seemed to be the push they were all waiting for; they turned and walked to the corner of the road where the carriages were waiting to take them back to the station.

Every one was sorry for Laura, for they knew how much she had loved her father. They agreed that it was a good thing that Henry and Caroline were taking her to London. They hoped that this change would distract her from her grief. Meanwhile, there was a good deal to do, and that also was a distraction. Clothes and belongings had to be sorted out, friends and family pensioners visited, and letters of condolence answered. Beside this she had her own personal accumulation of vagrant odds and ends to dispose of. She had lived for twenty-eight years in a house where there was no lack of cupboard room, and a tradition of hoarding, so the accumulation was considerable. There were old toys, letters, stones of strange shapes or bright colours, lesson-books, water-colour sketches of the dogs and the garden; a bunch of dance programmes kept for the sake of their little pencils, and all the little pencils tangled into an{43} inextricable knot; pieces of unfinished needlework, jeweller’s boxes, scraps cut out of the newspaper, and unexplainable objects that could only be remembrancers of things she had forgotten. To go over these hoards amused the surface of her mind. But with everything thrown away she seemed to be denying the significance of her youth.

Everyone felt sorry for Laura because they knew how much she had loved her dad. They agreed it was a good thing that Henry and Caroline were taking her to London. They hoped this change would help take her mind off her grief. In the meantime, there was a lot to do, and that was also a distraction. Clothes and belongings had to be sorted, friends and family members visited, and condolence letters were answered. On top of that, she had her own collection of random odds and ends to get rid of. She had lived for twenty-eight years in a house with plenty of cupboard space and a habit of hoarding, so the collection was substantial. There were old toys, letters, oddly shaped or colorful stones, schoolbooks, watercolor sketches of the dogs and the garden; a bunch of dance programs kept for their tiny pencils, all tangled into an{43} impossible knot; pieces of unfinished needlework, jewelry boxes, newspaper clippings, and strange objects that only reminded her of things she had forgotten. Going through these treasures entertained her mind. But with everything tossed away, it felt like she was denying the importance of her youth.

Thus busied, she was withheld all day from her proper care. But at dusk she would go out of the house and pace up and down the nut alley at the foot of the garden. The cold airs that rose up from the ground spoke sadly to her of burial, the mossy paths were hushed and humble under her tread, and the smells of autumn condoled with her. Brewer the gardener, stamping out the ashes of his bonfire, saw her pass to and fro, a slender figure moving sedately between the unmoving boughs. He alone of all the household had taken his master’s death without exclamation. Death coming to the old was a harmless thought to him, but looking at Laura he sighed deeply, as though he had planted her and now saw her dashed and broken by bad weather.

Busy with her tasks, she didn't take care of herself all day. But in the evening, she would step outside and walk back and forth in the nut alley at the edge of the garden. The chilly air rising from the ground spoke sadly to her of death, the mossy paths were quiet and humble under her feet, and the scents of autumn seemed to share her grief. Brewer the gardener, stamping out the ashes of his bonfire, noticed her moving slowly between the still branches, a slender figure. He was the only one in the household who had accepted his master’s death without a word. For him, death was a natural part of life for the elderly, but when he looked at Laura, he sighed deeply, as if he had nurtured her and now saw her battered and broken by a storm.

Ten days after Everard’s death Henry and Caroline left Lady Place, taking Laura with{44} them. She found the leave-taking less painful than she had expected, and Caroline put her to bed as soon as they arrived in Apsley Terrace, which simplified her unhappiness by making her feel like an unhappy child.

Ten days after Everard's death, Henry and Caroline left Lady Place, bringing Laura with them. She found saying goodbye less painful than she had anticipated, and Caroline tucked her into bed as soon as they arrived at Apsley Terrace, which made her sadness feel simpler and more like that of an unhappy child.

Laura had heard the others agreeing that the move to London would make her feel very differently. She had thought them stupid to suppose that any outward change could alter her mood. She now found that they had judged better than she. In Somerset she had grieved over her father’s death. In London her grief was retracted into sudden realisations of her loss. She had thought that sorrow would be her companion for many years, and had planned for its entertainment. Now it visited her like sudden snow-storms, a hastening darkness across the sky, a transient whiteness and rigour cast upon her. She tried to recover the sentiment of renunciation which she had worn like a veil. It was gone, and gone with it was her sense of the dignity of bereavement.

Laura had heard others saying that moving to London would change how she felt. She had thought they were foolish to believe that any external change could affect her mood. Now, she realized they had been more accurate than she expected. In Somerset, she had mourned her father’s death. In London, her grief was pulled in, manifesting in sudden realizations of her loss. She had believed that sadness would be with her for many years and had even planned for it. But now, it hit her like sudden snowstorms, a quick darkness covering the sky, a fleeting whiteness and sharpness creeping in. She tried to regain the sense of letting go that she had worn like a veil. It was gone, and with it, her sense of the dignity that comes with mourning.

Henry and Caroline did all they could to prevent her feeling unhappy. If they had been overlooking some shame of hers they could not have been more tactful, more modulatory.

Henry and Caroline did everything they could to keep her from feeling unhappy. If they had been missing any of her shame, they couldn’t have been more tactful or more accommodating.

The first winter passed by like a half-frozen{45} stream. At the turn of the year it grew extremely cold. Red cotton sandbags were laid along the window-sashes, and Fancy and Marion skated on the Round Pond with small astrakhan muffs. Laura did not skate, but she walked briskly along the path with Caroline, listening to the rock and jar of the skates grinding upon the ice and to the cries of the gulls overhead. She found London much colder than the country, though Henry assured her that this was impossible. She developed chilblains, and this annoyed her, for she had not had chilblains since she was a child. Then Nannie Quantrell would send her out in the early morning to run barefoot over the rimy lawn. There was a small garden at Apsley Terrace, but it had been gravelled over because Henry disliked the quality of London grass; and in any case it was not the sort of garden in which she could run barefoot.

The first winter passed like a half-frozen{45} stream. As the year turned, it got really cold. Red cotton sandbags were placed along the window frames, and Fancy and Marion skated on the Round Pond with little astrakhan muffs. Laura didn’t skate, but she walked briskly along the path with Caroline, listening to the sound of skates grinding on the ice and the cries of the gulls above. She found London much colder than the countryside, even though Henry insisted that was impossible. She developed chilblains, which bothered her since she hadn’t had them since childhood. Back then, Nannie Quantrell would send her out in the early morning to run barefoot across the frosty lawn. There was a small garden at Apsley Terrace, but it had been gravelled over because Henry didn’t like the quality of London grass; and anyway, it wasn’t the kind of garden where she could run barefoot.

She was also annoyed by the hardness of the London water. Her hands were so thin that they were always a little red; now they were rough also. If they could have remained idle, she would not have minded this so much. But Caroline never sat with idle hands; she would knit, or darn, or do useful needlework. Laura could not sit opposite her and do nothing.{46} There was no useful needlework for her to do, Caroline did it all, so Laura was driven to embroidery. Each time that a strand of silk rasped against her fingers she shuddered inwardly.

She was also frustrated by the harshness of the London water. Her hands were so thin that they were always slightly red; now they were rough too. If she could have just kept them idle, it wouldn’t have bothered her as much. But Caroline never sat with her hands still; she would knit, or mend, or do practical needlework. Laura couldn’t sit across from her and do nothing. There was no practical needlework for her to do, since Caroline handled all that, so Laura was left with embroidery. Every time a strand of silk scraped against her fingers, she shuddered inside.{46}

Time went faster than the embroidery did. She had actually a sensation that she was stitching herself into a piece of embroidery with a good deal of background. But, as Caroline said, it was not possible to feel dull when there was so much to do. Indeed, it was surprising how much there was to do, and for everybody in the house. Even Laura, introduced as a sort of extra wheel, soon found herself part of the mechanism, and, interworking with the other wheels, went round as busily as they.

Time passed more quickly than the embroidery progressed. She had a feeling that she was sewing herself into a complex design with a rich background. But, as Caroline pointed out, you couldn't really feel bored when there was so much to tackle. In fact, it was remarkable how much there was to do, and for everyone in the house. Even Laura, who had been brought in as an extra, soon became part of the routine and, working alongside the others, moved as busily as they did.

When she awoke, the day was already begun. She could hear iron noises from the kitchen, the sound of yesterday’s ashes being probed out. Then came a smell of wood smoke—the kitchen fire had been laid anew and kindled in the cleansed grate. This was followed by the automatic noise of the carpet-sweeper and, breaking in upon it, the irregular knocking of the staircase brush against the banisters. The maid who brought her morning tea and laid the folded towel across the hot-water can had an experienced look; when she{47} drew back the curtains she looked out upon the day with no curiosity. She had seen it already.

When she woke up, the day had already started. She could hear metal clanging from the kitchen, the sound of yesterday’s ashes being cleared out. Then came the smell of wood smoke—the kitchen fire had been prepared and lit in the clean grate. This was followed by the familiar noise of the carpet sweeper and, interrupting it, the uneven thumping of the staircase brush against the banisters. The maid who brought her morning tea and placed the folded towel on the hot-water can had a knowing look; when she{47} pulled back the curtains, she looked out at the day with no interest. She had seen it all before.

By the time the Willowes family met at breakfast all this activity had disappeared like the tide from the smooth, garnished beach. For the rest of the day it functioned unnoticed. Bells were answered, meals were served, all that appeared was completion. Yet unseen and underground the preparation and demolition of every day went on, like the inward persistent workings of heart and entrails. Sometimes a crash, a banging door, a voice upraised, would rend the veil of impersonality. And sometimes a sound of running water at unusual hours and a faint steaminess in the upper parts of the house betokened that one of the servants was having a bath.

By the time the Willowes family gathered for breakfast, all the activity had vanished like the tide from a smooth, decorated beach. For the rest of the day, everything went on unnoticed. Bells were answered, meals were served, and all that was evident was completion. Yet beneath the surface, the daily routine of preparation and cleanup continued, like the constant, unseen functions of the heart and organs. Sometimes a crash, a slamming door, or a raised voice would break through the facade of normalcy. And occasionally, the sound of running water at odd hours and a slight humidity in the upper parts of the house hinted that one of the servants was taking a bath.

After breakfast, and after Henry had been seen off, Caroline descended to the kitchen and Laura read the relinquished Times. Then came shopping, letter-writing, arranging the flowers, cleaning the canary-cage, and the girls’ walk. Such things as arranging flowers or cleaning the canary-cage were done with a kind of precautious routine which made them seem alike solemn and illicit. The flowers were always arranged in the ground-floor lavatory, where{48} there was a small sink; vases and wire frames were kept in a cupboard, and a pair of scissors was strung to a nail. Then the completed affair was carried carefully past the coats that hung in the lobby outside and set down upon some established site.

After breakfast, and after Henry left, Caroline went down to the kitchen while Laura read the abandoned Times. Then came shopping, writing letters, arranging flowers, cleaning the canary cage, and the girls’ walk. Tasks like arranging flowers or cleaning the canary cage were done with a kind of cautious routine that made them feel both serious and somewhat forbidden. The flowers were always arranged in the downstairs bathroom, where{48} there was a small sink; vases and wire frames were stored in a cupboard, and a pair of scissors was hung on a nail. Then the finished arrangement was carefully carried past the coats hanging in the lobby and placed down in a designated spot.

Every Tuesday the books were changed at the library.

Every Tuesday, the books were updated at the library.

After lunch there was a spell of embroidery and more Times. If it was fine, Caroline paid calls; if wet, she sat at home on the chance of receiving them. On Saturday afternoons there was the girls’ dancing-class. Laura accompanied her nieces thither, carrying their slippers in a bag. She sat among the other parents and guardians upon a dais which shook to the primary accents of the pianist, watching lancers and polkas and waltzes being performed, and hearing Miss Parley say: ‘Now we will recommence.’ After the dancing was over there was a March of Grace, and when Fancy and Marion had miscarried of their curtseys she would envelop their muslin dresses and their red elbows in the grey ulsters, and walk them briskly home again.

After lunch, they spent some time doing embroidery and reading more Times. If it was a nice day, Caroline would visit people; if it was rainy, she would stay home, hoping to receive visitors. On Saturday afternoons, the girls had their dancing class. Laura took her nieces there, carrying their slippers in a bag. She sat among the other parents and guardians on a platform that shook with the sounds of the pianist, watching lancers, polkas, and waltzes being performed, and hearing Miss Parley say, "Now we will start again." After the dancing was finished, there was a March of Grace, and when Fancy and Marion failed to execute their curtseys properly, she would wrap their cotton dresses and red elbows in the grey coats and briskly walk them home.

They were dull children, though their dullness did not prevent them having a penetrating{49} flow of conversation. Their ways and thoughts were governed by a sort of zodiacal procession of other little girls, and when they came down to the drawing-room after tea it seemed to Laura that they brought the Wardours, or the Wilkinsons, or the de la Bottes with them.

They were boring kids, but their dullness didn't stop them from having a sharp flow of conversation. Their behavior and ideas were influenced by a kind of zodiacal sequence of other little girls, and when they came down to the living room after tea, it felt to Laura like they were bringing the Wardours, the Wilkinsons, or the de la Bottes with them.

Dinner was at half-past seven. It was a sensible rule of Caroline’s that at dinner only general topics should be discussed. The difficulties of the day (if the day had presented difficulties) were laid aside. To this rule Caroline attributed the excellence of Henry’s digestion. Henry’s digestion was further safe-guarded by being left to itself in the smoking-room for an hour after dinner. If he was busy, this hour of meditation would be followed by some law-work. If not, he would join them in the drawing-room, or go to his club. When they were thus left by themselves Laura and Caroline went off to bed early, for they were pleasantly fatigued by their regular days and regular meals. Later on Laura, half asleep, would hear Henry’s return from his club. The thud of the front door pulled to after him drove through the silent house, and this was followed by the noise of bolts and chains. Then the house, emptied of another day, creaked once{50} or twice, and fell into repose, its silence and security barred up within it like a kind of moral family plate. The remainder of the night was left at the disposal of the grandfather’s clock in the hall, equitably dealing out minutes and quarters and hours.

Dinner was at 7:30. Caroline had a sensible rule that only general topics should be talked about at dinner. Any challenges from the day (if there were any) were put aside. Caroline believed this rule was key to Henry’s good digestion. Henry’s digestion was also protected by allowing him some time to relax in the smoking room for an hour after dinner. If he was busy, this hour of reflection would be followed by some law work. If not, he’d join them in the living room or head to his club. When they were alone, Laura and Caroline would go to bed early because they felt pleasantly tired from their regular days and meals. Later, Laura, half asleep, would hear Henry coming back from his club. The loud thud of the front door closing behind him echoed through the silent house, followed by the sound of bolts and chains. Then the house, having emptied itself of another day, creaked once or twice and settled into a restful silence, its security locked up inside like cherished family heirlooms. The rest of the night was left to the grandfather clock in the hallway, fairly measuring out minutes, quarters, and hours.

On Sunday mornings Henry would wind the clock. First one and then the other the quivering chains were wound up, till only the snouts of the leaden weights were visible, drooping sullenly over the abyss of time wherein they were to make their descent during the seven days following. After that the family went to church, and there were wound up for the week in much the same manner. They went to evening service too, but evening service was less austere. The vindictive sentiments sounded less vindictive; if an umbrella fell down with a crash the ensuing silence was less affronted; the sermon was shorter, or seemed so, and swung more robustly into ‘And now to God the Father.’

On Sunday mornings, Henry would wind the clock. First one chain and then the other were wound up, until only the ends of the heavy weights were visible, drooping sadly over the endless stretch of time they would descend during the following seven days. After that, the family went to church, where they were essentially wound up for the week in much the same way. They attended evening service as well, but it felt less serious. The harsh sentiments seemed less harsh; if an umbrella dropped with a loud crash, the following silence felt less offended; the sermon was shorter, or at least seemed that way, and moved more confidently into ‘And now to God the Father.’

After evening service came cold supper. Fancy and Marion sat up for this, and it was rather a cheerful meal, with extra trivialities such as sardines and celery. The leaden weights had already started upon their downward course.{51}

After the evening service, they had a cold supper. Fancy and Marion stayed up for this, and it was quite a pleasant meal, featuring light snacks like sardines and celery. The heavy weights had already begun their descent.{51}

Caroline was a religious woman. Resolute, orderly and unromantic, she would have made an admirable Mother Superior. In her housekeeping and her scrupulous account-books she expressed an almost mystical sense of the validity of small things. But like most true mystics, she was unsympathetic and difficult of approach. Once only did she speak her spiritual mind to Laura. Laura was nursing her when she had influenza; Caroline wished to put on a clean nightdress, and Laura, opening the third drawer of the large mahogany wardrobe, had commented upon the beautiful orderliness with which Caroline’s body linen was arranged therein. ‘We have our example,’ said Caroline. ‘The graveclothes were folded in the tomb.’

Caroline was a devout woman. Determined, organized, and practical, she would have made an excellent Mother Superior. In her housekeeping and meticulous account books, she showed a nearly spiritual appreciation for the importance of little things. But like many true mystics, she was hard to approach and unsympathetic. She only once shared her spiritual thoughts with Laura. Laura was taking care of her when she had the flu; Caroline wanted to put on a fresh nightdress, and as Laura opened the third drawer of the large mahogany wardrobe, she commented on how beautifully organized Caroline's undergarments were. "We have our example," Caroline said. "The grave clothes were folded in the tomb."

Looking into the large shadowy drawer, where nightgowns and chemises lay folded exactly upon each other in a purity that disdained even lavender, Laura shuddered a little at this revelation of her sister-in-law’s private thoughts. She made no answer, and never again did Caroline open her mind to her upon such matters.

Looking into the big dark drawer, where nightgowns and slips were neatly folded on top of each other in a way that even overpowered the scent of lavender, Laura shuddered a bit at this glimpse into her sister-in-law's private thoughts. She didn’t respond, and after that, Caroline never shared her thoughts on such topics with her again.

Laura never forgot this. Caroline seemed affectionately disposed towards her; she was full of practical good sense, her advice was{52} excellent, and pleasantly bestowed. Laura saw her a good wife, a fond and discreet mother, a kind mistress, a most conscientious sister-in-law. She was also rather gluttonous. But for none of these qualities could Laura feel at ease with her. Compared to Caroline she knew herself to be unpractical, unmethodical, lacking in initiative. The tasks that Caroline delegated to her she performed eagerly and carefully, but she performed them with the hampering consciousness that Caroline could do them better than she, and in less time. Even in so simple a matter as holding a skein of wool for Caroline to wind off into a ball, Caroline’s large white fingers worked so swiftly that it was she who twitched the next length off Laura’s thumb before Laura, watching the diminishing thread, remembered to dip her hand. But all this—for Laura was humble and Caroline kind—could have been overcome. It was in the things that never appeared that Laura felt her inadequacy.

Laura never forgot this. Caroline seemed to like her; she was full of practical wisdom, her advice was{52} excellent, and given with a pleasant demeanor. Laura saw her as a good wife, a loving and sensible mother, a kind employer, and a very dedicated sister-in-law. She was also somewhat greedy. But for none of these qualities could Laura feel comfortable around her. Compared to Caroline, she knew she was impractical, disorganized, and lacking in initiative. The tasks that Caroline assigned to her, she tackled eagerly and carefully, but she did them with the nagging awareness that Caroline could do them better and in less time. Even in something as simple as holding a skein of wool for Caroline to wind into a ball, Caroline’s large white fingers moved so quickly that she’d pull the next length off Laura’s thumb before Laura, watching the decreasing thread, remembered to dip her hand. But all this—because Laura was humble and Caroline was kind—could have been overcome. It was in the aspects that never showed where Laura felt her inadequacy.

Laura was not in any way religious. She was not even religious enough to speculate towards irreligion. She went with Caroline to early service whenever Caroline’s inquiries suggested it, and to morning service and evening service every Sunday; she knelt beside her and{53} heard her pray in a small, stilled version of the voice which she knew so well in its clear everyday ordinances. Religion was great-great-aunt Salome’s prayer-book which Caroline held in her gloved hands. Religion was a strand in the Willowes’ life, and the prayer-book was the outward sign of it. But it was also the outward sign of the puff pastry which had been praised by King George III. Religion was something to be preserved: it was part of the Willowes life and so was the prayer-book, preserved from generation to generation.

Laura wasn't religious at all. She wasn't even religious enough to consider being irreligious. She went with Caroline to the early service whenever Caroline suggested it, and to both morning and evening services every Sunday; she knelt beside her and{53} listened to her pray in a quieter version of the voice she recognized so well in its usual everyday tone. Religion was great-great-aunt Salome’s prayer book that Caroline held in her gloved hands. Religion was a part of the Willowes’ life, and the prayer book was its visible symbol. But it also represented the puff pastry that had been praised by King George III. Religion was something to be maintained: it was part of the Willowes’ life, and so was the prayer book, passed down from generation to generation.

Laura was bored by the church which they attended. She would have liked, now that she was come to London, to see the world, to adventure in churches. She was darkly, adventurously drawn to see what services were like amongst Roman Catholics, amongst Huguenots, amongst Unitarians and Swedenborgians, feeling about this rather as she felt about the East End. She expressed her wish to Caroline, and Caroline, rather unexpectedly, had been inclined to further it. But Henry banned the project. It would not do for Laura to go elsewhere than to the family place of worship, he said. For Henry, the family place of worship was the pew upon whose ledge rested great-great-aunt Salom{54}e’s prayer-book. He felt this less explicitly than the straying Laura did, for he was a man and had less time to think of such things. But he felt it strongly.

Laura found the church they attended boring. Now that she was in London, she wanted to explore the world and experience different churches. She was intrigued by the idea of seeing what services were like among Roman Catholics, Huguenots, Unitarians, and Swedenborgians, feeling about this in a similar way to how she felt about the East End. She shared her desire with Caroline, who surprisingly was supportive of the idea. However, Henry rejected the plan. He insisted that Laura should only go to the family church, which he considered important because it was the place where great-great-aunt Salome’s prayer book rested on the ledge of their pew. He felt this more implicitly than Laura, as he was a man and had less time to ponder such matters. But he felt it deeply.

Laura believed that she would like Caroline if she could only understand her. She had no difficulty in understanding Henry, but for no amount of understanding could she much like him. After some years in his house she came to the conclusion that Caroline had been very bad for his character. Caroline was a good woman and a good wife. She was slightly self-righteous, and fairly rightly so, but she yielded to Henry’s judgment in every dispute, she bowed her good sense to his will and blinkered her wider views in obedience to his prejudices. Henry had a high opinion of her merits, but thinking her to be so admirable and finding her to be so acquiescent had encouraged him to have an even higher opinion of his own. However good a wife Caroline might choose to be, she could not quite make Henry a bad husband or a bad man—he was too much of a Willowes for that: but she fed his vanity, and ministered to his imperiousness.

Laura thought she would like Caroline if she could just understand her. She had no trouble understanding Henry, but no amount of understanding made her like him. After spending some years in his house, she concluded that Caroline had not helped his character. Caroline was a good woman and a good wife. Although she was a bit self-righteous, rightly so, she always deferred to Henry’s judgment in every argument, sacrificing her good sense to his will and narrowing her perspective to fit his prejudices. Henry held her in high regard, but believing her to be so admirable and finding her so compliant boosted his own opinion of himself even more. No matter how good a wife Caroline tried to be, she couldn't turn Henry into a bad husband or a bad man—he was too much of a Willowes for that—but she did feed his vanity and catered to his domineering nature.

Laura also thought that the law had done a great deal to spoil Henry. It had changed his{55} natural sturdy stupidity into a browbeating indifference to other people’s point of view. He seemed to consider himself briefed by his Creator to turn into ridicule the opinions of those who disagreed with him, and to attribute dishonesty, idiocy, or a base motive to every one who supported a better case than he. This did not often appear in his private life, Henry was kindly disposed to those who did not thwart him by word or deed. His household had been well schooled by Caroline in yielding gracefully, and she was careful not to invite guests who were not of her husband’s way of thinking.

Laura also believed that the law had really spoiled Henry. It had transformed his{55} natural, rugged ignorance into a dismissive indifference toward other people's viewpoints. He seemed to think he was appointed by his Creator to mock the opinions of anyone who disagreed with him, and to label anyone who made a stronger case as dishonest, foolish, or having bad intentions. This mindset didn’t usually show in his personal life; Henry was generally nice to those who didn’t oppose him openly. Caroline had trained their household to yield gracefully, and she made sure not to invite guests who didn’t share her husband’s beliefs.

Most of their acquaintance were people connected with the law. Laura grew familiar with the legal manner, but she did not grow fond of it. She felt that these clean-shaven men with bristling eyebrows were suavely concealing their doubts of her intelligence and her probity. Their jaws were like so many mouse-traps, baited with commonplaces. They made her feel shy and behave stiffly.

Most of the people she knew were involved in law. Laura got used to the legal way of speaking, but she didn’t come to like it. She sensed that these clean-shaven men with bushy eyebrows were smoothly hiding their doubts about her intelligence and integrity. Their jaws were like a bunch of mouse traps, lured with clichés. They made her feel awkward and act stiffly.

This was unfortunate, as Henry and Caroline had hoped that some one of them would fall sufficiently in love with Laura to marry her. Mr. Fortescue, Mr. Parker, Mr. Jermyn, Mr. Danby, Mr. Thrush, were in turn selected as{56} suitable and likely undertakers. Every decent effort was made by Henry and Caroline, and a certain number of efforts were made by the chosen. But Laura would make no efforts at all. Henry and Caroline had lost heart when they invited Mr. Arbuthnot to tea on Sunday. They invited him for pity’s sake, and but to tea at that, for he was very shy and stammered. To their surprise they saw Laura taking special pains to be nice to him. Equally to their surprise they saw Mr. Arbuthnot laying aside his special pains to observe a legal manner and stammering away quite enthusiastically about climbing Welsh mountains and gathering parsley fern. They scarcely dared to hope, for they felt the time for hope was gone by. However, they invited him to dinner, and did their best to be on friendly terms with him.

This was unfortunate, as Henry and Caroline had hoped that one of them would fall in love with Laura enough to marry her. Mr. Fortescue, Mr. Parker, Mr. Jermyn, Mr. Danby, and Mr. Thrush were each considered as{56} suitable candidates. Henry and Caroline put in a lot of effort, and the chosen candidates did their part as well. But Laura showed no interest whatsoever. Henry and Caroline had given up when they invited Mr. Arbuthnot over for tea on Sunday. They invited him out of pity, and just for tea, since he was very shy and stammered. To their surprise, they noticed Laura making a special effort to be friendly with him. Even more unexpectedly, they saw Mr. Arbuthnot setting aside his usual formal demeanor and enthusiastically stammering about climbing Welsh mountains and collecting parsley fern. They hardly dared to hope, feeling that the time for hope had passed. Still, they invited him to dinner and did their best to get along with him.

Mr. Arbuthnot received their advances without surprise, for he had a very good opinion of himself. He felt that being thirty-five he owed himself a wife, and he also felt that Laura would do very nicely. His aunt, Lady Ross-Price, always tried to get servants from the Willowes establishment, for Mrs. Willowes trained them so well. Mr. Arbuthnot supposed that Mrs. Willowes would be equally good at{57} training wives. He began to think of Laura quite tenderly, and Caroline began to read the Stores’ catalogue quite seriously. This was the moment when Laura, who had been behaving nicely for years, chose to indulge her fantasy, and to wreck in five minutes the good intentions of as many months.

Mr. Arbuthnot accepted their advances without any surprise because he had a high opinion of himself. At thirty-five, he felt he deserved a wife, and he believed that Laura would be a great fit. His aunt, Lady Ross-Price, always tried to hire servants from the Willowes household since Mrs. Willowes trained them so well. Mr. Arbuthnot figured that Mrs. Willowes would be just as skilled at{57} training wives. He started to think of Laura quite affectionately, and Caroline began to take the Stores' catalog seriously. This was the moment when Laura, who had been behaving well for years, decided to indulge her fantasy and ruin in five minutes the good intentions built over months.

She had come more and more to look on Mr. Arbuthnot as an indulgence. His stammer had endeared him to her; it seemed, after so much legal manner, quite sympathetic. Though nothing would have induced her to marry him, she was very ready to talk to him, and even to talk naturally of what came uppermost in her thoughts. Laura’s thoughts ranged over a wide field, even now. Sometimes she said rather amusing things, and displayed unexpected stores (General Stores) of knowledge. But her remarks were as a rule so disconnected from the conversation that no one paid much attention to them. Mr. Arbuthnot certainly was not prepared for her response to his statement that February was a dangerous month. ‘It is,’ answered Laura with almost violent agreement. ‘If you are a were-wolf, and very likely you may be, for lots of people are without knowing, February, of all months, is the month when you are most likely{58} to go out on a dark windy night and worry sheep.’

She had increasingly started to see Mr. Arbuthnot as a bit of a guilty pleasure. His stammer had made him more endearing to her; it seemed, after all those legal formalities, quite relatable. Although she would never consider marrying him, she was always up for chatting with him and even felt free to speak her mind about whatever popped into her head. Laura's thoughts wandered widely, even now. Sometimes she said things that were quite funny and showed surprising tidbits of knowledge. However, her comments were usually so random that no one really paid much attention. Mr. Arbuthnot certainly wasn't ready for her reaction to his comment that February was a risky month. “It is,” Laura replied with almost fierce agreement. “If you’re a werewolf—and you might be since many people are without realizing it—February, of all months, is when you’re most likely{58} to go out on a dark, windy night and trouble sheep.”

Henry and Caroline glanced at each other in horror. Mr. Arbuthnot said: ‘How very interesting! But I really don’t think I am likely to do such a thing.’ Laura made no answer. She did not think so either. But she was amusing herself with a surprisingly vivid and terrible picture of Mr. Arbuthnot cloaked in a shaggy hide and going with heavy devouring swiftness upon all-fours with a lamb dangling from his mouth.

Henry and Caroline looked at each other in shock. Mr. Arbuthnot said: ‘How fascinating! But I really don’t think I would ever do something like that.’ Laura didn’t reply. She didn’t think so either. But she was entertaining herself with a surprisingly vivid and horrifying image of Mr. Arbuthnot wrapped in a shaggy hide, moving quickly on all fours with a lamb hanging from his mouth.

This settled it. Henry and Caroline made no more attempts to marry off Laura. Trying to do so had been a nuisance and an expense, and Laura had never shown the smallest appreciation of their trouble. Before long they would have the girls to think of. Fancy was sixteen, and Marion nearly as tall as Fancy. In two years they would have to begin again. They were glad of a respite, and made the most of it. Laura also was glad of a respite. She bought second-hand copies of Herodotus and Johnson’s Dictionary to read in the evenings. Caroline, still sewing on buttons, would look at her sister-in-law’s composed profile. Laura’s hair was black as ever, but it was not so thick. She{59} had grown paler from living in London. Her forehead had not a wrinkle, but two downward lines prolonged the drooping corners of her mouth. Her face was beginning to stiffen. It had lost its power of expressiveness, and was more and more dominated by the hook nose and the sharp chin. When Laura was ten years older she would be nut-crackerish.

This settled it. Henry and Caroline stopped trying to marry off Laura. It had become a hassle and a cost, and Laura never seemed to appreciate their efforts. Soon enough, they would have to think about the girls. Fancy was sixteen, and Marion was almost as tall as Fancy. In two years, they would have to start up again. They were glad for a break and made the most of it. Laura was also happy for a break. She bought second-hand copies of Herodotus and Johnson’s Dictionary to read in the evenings. Caroline, still sewing on buttons, would glance at her sister-in-law’s calm profile. Laura’s hair was as black as ever, but it was thinner now. She had grown paler from living in London. Her forehead was wrinkle-free, but two lines extended down from the corners of her mouth. Her face was starting to stiffen. It had lost its expressiveness and was increasingly defined by her hooked nose and sharp chin. In ten years, Laura would look stern.

Caroline resigned herself to spending the rest of her evenings with Laura beside her. The perpetual company of a sister-in-law was rather more than she had bargained for. Still, there she was, and Henry was right—they had been the proper people to make a home for Laura when her father died, and she was too old now to begin living by herself. It was not as if she had had any experience of life; she had passed from one guardianship to another: it was impossible to imagine Laura fending for herself. A kind of pity for the unused virgin beside her spread through Caroline’s thoughts. She did not attach an inordinate value to her wifehood and maternity; they were her duties, rather than her glories. But for all that she felt emotionally plumper than Laura. It was well to be loved, to be necessary to other people. But Laura too was loved, and Laura was necessary.{60} Caroline did not know what the children would do without their Aunt Lolly.

Caroline accepted that she would be spending her evenings with Laura by her side. Having her sister-in-law around all the time was more than she had expected. Still, Henry was right—they were the right people to take care of Laura when her father passed away, and she was too old now to start living on her own. It wasn't like she had any real life experience; she had gone from one guardian to another, and it was hard to picture Laura managing by herself. A sense of pity for the inexperienced woman next to her filled Caroline's mind. She didn't place an excessive importance on her role as a wife and mother; they were her responsibilities rather than her highlights. Yet despite this, she felt emotionally richer than Laura. It felt good to be loved and to be needed by others. But Laura was also loved, and she was necessary.{60} Caroline didn't know what the kids would do without their Aunt Lolly.

Every one spoke of her as Aunt Lolly, till in the course of time she had almost forgotten her baptismal name.

Everyone called her Aunt Lolly, so much so that over time she had almost forgotten her real name.

‘Say How-do to Auntie Laura,’ said Caroline to Fancy. This was long ago in the re-furbished nursery at Lady Place where Laura knelt timidly before her first niece, while the London nurse bustled round them unpacking soft hairbrushes and pots of cold cream, and hanging linen to air upon the tall nursery fender.

‘Say hi to Auntie Laura,’ Caroline said to Fancy. This was a long time ago in the renovated nursery at Lady Place, where Laura knelt shyly before her first niece, while the London nurse hurried around them, unpacking soft hairbrushes and containers of cold cream, and hanging linens to air on the tall nursery fender.

‘How-do, Auntie Lolly,’ said Fancy, graciously thrusting forward a fur monkey.

‘Hey there, Auntie Lolly,’ said Fancy, graciously holding out a fur monkey.

‘She’s taken to you at once, Laura,’ said Caroline. ‘I was afraid this journey would upset her, but she’s borne it better than any of us.’

‘She’s really taken to you, Laura,’ said Caroline. ‘I was worried this trip would bother her, but she’s handled it better than any of us.’

‘Journeys are nothing to them at that age, ma’am,’ said the nurse. ‘Now suppose you tell your new auntie what you call Monkey.’

‘Journeys are nothing to them at that age, ma’am,’ said the nurse. ‘Now suppose you tell your new auntie what you call Monkey.’

‘Auntie Lolly, Auntie Lolly,’ repeated Fancy, rhythmically banging the monkey against the table-leg.

‘Auntie Lolly, Auntie Lolly,’ Fancy repeated, rhythmically banging the monkey against the table leg.

The name hit upon by Fancy was accepted by Marion and Titus; before long their parents made use of it also. Everard never spoke of{61} his daughter but as Laura, even when he spoke of her to his grandchildren. He was too old to change his ways, and he had, in any case, a prejudice against nicknames and abbreviations. But when Laura went to London she left Laura behind, and entered into a state of Aunt Lolly. She had quitted so much of herself in quitting Somerset that it seemed natural to relinquish her name also. Divested of her easily-worn honours as mistress of the household, shorn of her long meandering country days, sleeping in a smart brass bedstead instead of her old and rather pompous four-poster, wearing unaccustomed clothes and performing unaccustomed duties, she seemed to herself to have become a different person. Or rather, she had become two persons, each different. One was Aunt Lolly, a middle-aging lady, light-footed upon stairs, and indispensable for Christmas Eve and birthday preparations. The other was Miss Willowes, ‘my sister-in-law Miss Willowes,’ whom Caroline would introduce, and abandon to a feeling of being neither light-footed nor indispensable. But Laura was put away. When Henry asked her to witness some document for him her Laura Erminia Willowes seemed as much a thing out of common speech as the Spinster{62} that followed it. She would look, and be surprised that such a dignified name should belong to her.

The name chosen by Fancy was accepted by Marion and Titus; before long, their parents started using it too. Everard never referred to his daughter as anything but Laura, even when he talked about her to his grandchildren. He was too set in his ways to change, and besides, he had a dislike for nicknames and shortened names. But when Laura moved to London, she left Laura behind and became Aunt Lolly. She had left so much of herself behind in Somerset that it felt natural to give up her name too. Stripped of her easy-going role as the head of the household, without her long, leisurely country days, sleeping in a modern brass bed instead of her old and rather grand four-poster, wearing unfamiliar clothes and taking on new responsibilities, she felt like a different person. Well, actually, she had become two people, each distinct. One was Aunt Lolly, a middle-aged woman, nimble up the stairs, and essential for Christmas Eve and birthday planning. The other was Miss Willowes, “my sister-in-law Miss Willowes,” whom Caroline would introduce and then leave feeling neither light-footed nor necessary. But Laura was pushed aside. When Henry asked her to sign a document for him, her Laura Erminia Willowes felt as foreign as the Spinster{62} that followed. She would look at it and be surprised that such a respectable name belonged to her.

Twice a year, in spring and in summer, the Willowes family went into the country for a holiday. For the first three years of Laura’s London life they went as a matter of course to Lady Place. There once more arose the problem of how two children of one sex can play nicely with a much younger child of the other. Fancy and Marion played at tea-parties under the weeping ash, and Titus was the butler with a tin tray. Titus would presently run off and play by himself at soldiers, beating martial tattoos upon the tray. But now there was no danger of the youngest member of the party falling into the pond, for Aunt Lolly was always on guard.

Twice a year, in spring and summer, the Willowes family would head to the countryside for a vacation. For the first three years of Laura’s life in London, they routinely went to Lady Place. Once again, there was the challenge of how two children of one gender could play nicely with a much younger child of the opposite gender. Fancy and Marion hosted tea parties under the weeping ash, while Titus acted as the butler with a tin tray. Eventually, Titus would run off to play by himself as a soldier, drumming on the tray. But now, there was no risk of the youngest member of the group falling into the pond, because Aunt Lolly was always watching.

Laura enjoyed the visits to Lady Place, but her enjoyment did not go very deep. The knowledge that she was now a visitor where she had formerly been at home seemed to place a clear sheet of glass between her and her surroundings. She felt none of the grudge of the dispossessed; she scarcely gave a thought to the old days. It was as if in the agony of leaving Lady Place after her father’s death she had said{63} good-bye so irremediably that she could never really come there again.

Laura liked visiting Lady Place, but her enjoyment didn't run very deep. The fact that she was now a visitor in a place where she used to feel at home felt like a clear barrier between her and everything around her. She didn’t hold any bitterness about being displaced; she hardly thought about the past. It was as if, in the pain of leaving Lady Place after her father's death, she had said{63} goodbye so definitively that she could never truly come back.

But the visits to Lady Place came to a sad end, for in 1905 James died suddenly of heartfailure. Sibyl decided that she could not go on living alone in the country. A manager was found for the brewery, Lady Place was let unfurnished upon a long lease, and Sibyl and the four-years-old heir of the Willowes name and traditions moved to a small house in Hampstead. Sibyl had proposed to sell some of the furniture, for there was a great deal more of it than she needed, and most of it was too large to fit into her new dwelling. This project was opposed by Henry, and with considerable heat. The family establishment must, he admitted, be broken up, but he would allow no part of it to be alienated. All the furniture that could not be found room for at Hampstead or at Apsley Terrace must be stored till Titus should be of an age to resume the tenure of Lady Place.

But the visits to Lady Place came to a sad end when James suddenly died of heart failure in 1905. Sibyl decided she couldn't continue living alone in the countryside. They found a manager for the brewery, Lady Place was rented out unfurnished on a long lease, and Sibyl, along with her four-year-old heir to the Willowes name and traditions, moved to a small house in Hampstead. Sibyl suggested selling some of the furniture, as she had way more than she needed, and most of it was too big to fit into her new place. Henry strongly opposed this idea. He agreed the family home had to be broken up, but he wouldn't allow any of it to be sold off. Any furniture that couldn’t fit at Hampstead or Apsley Terrace had to be stored until Titus was old enough to take over Lady Place.

To Laura it seemed as though some familiar murmuring brook had suddenly gone underground. There it flowed, silenced and obscured, until the moment when it should reappear and murmur again between green banks. She thought of Titus as a grown man and herself{64} as an old woman meeting among the familiar belongings. She believed that when she was old the ghost-like feeling that distressed her would matter less. She hoped that she might not die before that day, if it were only that she would remember so well, as Titus could not, how the furniture stood in the rooms and the pictures hung on the walls.

To Laura, it felt like a familiar murmuring brook had suddenly gone underground. It flowed, silenced and hidden, until the moment it would resurface and murmur again between lush banks. She imagined Titus as a grown man and herself{64} as an old woman reuniting among the familiar belongings. She believed that when she was old, the ghost-like feeling that troubled her would matter less. She hoped she wouldn’t pass away before that day, if only so she could remember clearly, unlike Titus, how the furniture was arranged in the rooms and how the pictures hung on the walls.

But by then, she said to herself, Titus would have a wife with tastes of her own. Sibyl would have liked to alter several things, but tradition had been too strong for her. It would be a very different matter in twenty years’ time. The chairs and tables and cabinets would come out blinking and forgetful from their long storage in darkness. They would have lost the individuality by which they had made certain corners so surely their own. The Lady Place she had known was over. She could remember it if she pleased; but she must not think of it.

But by then, she thought to herself, Titus would have a wife with her own tastes. Sibyl would have liked to change a few things, but tradition had been too powerful for her. In twenty years, it would be a completely different situation. The chairs, tables, and cabinets would emerge, blinking and disoriented, from their long time in storage. They would have lost the unique character that had made certain corners feel distinctly theirs. The Lady Place she had known was gone. She could remember it if she wanted, but she must not dwell on it.

Meanwhile Emma’s harp trailed its strings in her bedroom. Ratafee was removed to Hampstead. Titus had insisted upon this.

Meanwhile, Emma's harp was resting in her bedroom. Ratafee was moved to Hampstead. Titus had insisted on this.

She wondered if Henry felt as she did. He had shown a great deal of Willowes spirit over the furniture, but otherwise he had not expressed himself. In person Henry, so it was said,{65} resembled his grandfather who had made the move from Dorset to Somerset—the sacrilegious move which the home-loving of the Willoweses had so soon sanctified that in the third generation she was feeling like this about Lady Place. Henry seemed to resemble his grandfather in spirit also. He could house all the family traditions in his practical mind, and for the rest talk about bricks and mortar. He concerned himself with the terms of Sibyl’s lease, the agreement with the manager of the brewery, and the question of finding a satisfactory place to carry his family to for the holidays.

She wondered if Henry felt the same way she did. He had shown a lot of Willowes spirit regarding the furniture, but aside from that, he hadn’t really shared his thoughts. In person, Henry was said to look like his grandfather who had moved from Dorset to Somerset—the controversial move that the home-loving Willoweses had quickly accepted, to the point that by the third generation, she was feeling this way about Lady Place. Henry also seemed to share his grandfather's spirit. He could keep all the family traditions in his practical mind, and for the rest, he talked about bricks and mortar. He was focused on the details of Sibyl’s lease, the agreement with the brewery manager, and figuring out a good place to take his family for the holidays.

After some experiments they settled down to a routine that with a few modifications for the sake of variety or convenience served them for the next fifteen years. In spring they went to some moderately popular health resort and stayed in a hotel, for it was found that the uncertainty of an English spring, let alone the uncertainty of a Christian Easter, made lodgings unsatisfactory at that time of year. In summer they went into lodgings, or took a furnished house in some seaside village without any attractions. They did this, not to be economical—there was no need for economy—but because they found rather plain dull holidays the most refreshing.{66} Henry was content with a little unsophisticated golf and float-fishing. The children bathed and played on the beach and went on bicycling expeditions; and Caroline and Laura watched the children bathe and play, and replenished their stock of underclothes, and rested from the strain of London housekeeping. Sometimes Caroline did a little reading. Sometimes Sibyl and Titus stayed with them, or Titus stayed with them alone while his mother paid visits.

After trying out a few things, they settled into a routine that, with some adjustments for variety or convenience, lasted them for the next fifteen years. In spring, they went to a moderately popular health resort and stayed in a hotel because they found that the unpredictability of an English spring, not to mention the unpredictability of a Christian Easter, made finding accommodations at that time of year difficult. In summer, they rented lodgings or took a furnished house in a seaside village with no attractions. They didn’t do this to save money—there was no need for that—but because they found that simple, quiet holidays were the most refreshing. Henry was happy with a little basic golf and float-fishing. The kids swam, played on the beach, and went on bike rides; Caroline and Laura watched them, stocked up on underclothes, and took a break from the stress of managing their London home. Sometimes Caroline would do a bit of reading. Occasionally, Sibyl and Titus would join them, or Titus would come alone while his mom visited friends. {66}

Laura looked forward with pleasure to the summer holidays (the Easter holidays she never cared about, as she had a particular dislike for palms); but after the first shock of arrival and smelling the sea, the days seemed to dribble out very much like the days in London. When the end came, and she looked back from the wagonette over the past weeks, she found that after all she had done few of the things she intended to do. She would have liked to go by herself for long walks inland and find strange herbs, but she was too useful to be allowed to stray. She had once formed an indistinct project of observing limpets. But for all her observations she discovered little save that if you sit very still for a long time the limpet will begin to move sideways, and that it is almost{67} impossible to sit very still for a long time and keep your attention fixed upon such a small object as a limpet without feeling slightly hypnotised and slightly sick. On the lowest count she seldom contrived to read all the books or to finish all the needlework which she had taken with her. And the freckles on her nose mocked her with the receptivity of her skin compared to the dullness of her senses.

Laura eagerly anticipated the summer holidays (she never cared much for the Easter break since she had a particular dislike for palm trees); but after the initial thrill of arriving and breathing in the sea air, the days began to slip away just like they did back in London. When it was time to leave, and she looked back from the wagonette over the past few weeks, she realized that, in reality, she hadn't done most of the things she had planned. She would have liked to explore the countryside on her own and discover unusual herbs, but she was too useful to be allowed to wander off. She had once vaguely intended to observe limpets. But despite her observations, she learned very little except that if you sit very still for a long time, a limpet will start to move sideways, and that it's nearly impossible to hold your focus on such a small thing as a limpet without feeling a bit hypnotized and a little sick. At the very least, she hardly managed to read all the books or finish all the needlework she had brought along. And the freckles on her nose seemed to mock her, highlighting how receptive her skin was compared to the dullness of her senses.

They were submerged in the usual quiet summer holidays when the war broke out. The parish magazine said: ‘The vicar had scarcely left East Bingham when war was declared.’ The vicar was made of stouter stuff than they. He continued his holiday, but the Willoweses went back to London. Laura had never seen London in August before. It had an arrested look, as though the war were a kind of premature autumn. She was extraordinarily moved; as they drove across the river from Waterloo she wanted to cry. That same evening Fancy went upstairs and scrubbed the boxroom floor for the sake of practice. She upset the bucket, and large damp patches appeared on the ceiling of Laura’s room.

They were in the usual quiet summer vacation when the war broke out. The parish magazine noted, “The vicar had barely left East Bingham when war was declared.” The vicar was tougher than they were. He kept enjoying his holiday, but the Willoweses returned to London. Laura had never seen London in August before. It had a frozen-in-time look, as if the war had brought an early autumn. She felt incredibly emotional; as they drove across the river from Waterloo, she almost cried. That same evening, Fancy went upstairs and scrubbed the boxroom floor for practice. She knocked over the bucket, making big wet patches appear on the ceiling of Laura’s room.

For a month Fancy behaved like a cat whose kittens have been drowned. If her family had{68} not been so taken up with the war they would have been alarmed at this change in her demeanour. As it was, they scarcely noticed it. When she came in very late for lunch and said: ‘I am going to marry Kit Bendigo on Saturday,’ Henry said, ‘Very well, my dear. It’s your day, not mine,’ and ordered champagne to be brought up. For a moment Laura thought she heard her father speaking. She knew that Henry disapproved of Kit Bendigo as a husband for Fancy: Willoweses did not mate with Bendigos. But now he was more than resigned—he was ready. And he swallowed the gnat as unswervingly as the camel, which, if Laura had wanted to be ill-natured just then, would have surprised her as being the greater feat. Willoweses do not marry at five days’ notice. But Fancy was married on Saturday, and her parents discovered that a hasty wedding can cost quite as much as a formal one. In the mood that they were in this afforded them some slight satisfaction.

For a month, Fancy acted like a cat whose kittens had been drowned. If her family hadn’t been so caught up in the war, they would have been worried about this change in her behavior. As it was, they barely noticed. When she came home really late for lunch and said, ‘I’m going to marry Kit Bendigo on Saturday,’ Henry replied, ‘Alright, my dear. It’s your day, not mine,’ and had champagne brought in. For a moment, Laura thought she heard her father speaking. She knew that Henry didn’t approve of Kit Bendigo as a husband for Fancy: Willoweses didn't marry Bendigos. But now he was not just resigned—he was ready. And he accepted it as easily as a camel swallows a gnat, which, if Laura had wanted to be mean at that moment, would have surprised her as being the bigger challenge. Willoweses do not get married with a five-day notice. But Fancy got married on Saturday, and her parents found out that a rushed wedding can cost just as much as a formal one. Given their mood, this gave them a bit of satisfaction.

Kit Bendigo was killed in December 1916. Fancy received the news calmly; two years’ war-work and a daughter thrown in had steadied her nerves. Kit was a dear, of course, poor old Kit. But there was a war on, and people{69} get killed in wars. If it came to that, she was working in a high-explosive shed herself. Caroline could not understand her eldest daughter. She was baffled and annoyed by the turn her own good sense inherited had taken. The married nun looked at the widowed amazon and refused battle. At least Fancy might stay in her very expensive flat and be a mother to her baby. But Fancy drew on a pair of heavy gauntlet gloves and went to France to drive motor lorries. Caroline dared not say a word.

Kit Bendigo was killed in December 1916. Fancy received the news calmly; two years of war work and a daughter had steadied her nerves. Kit was a dear, of course, poor old Kit. But there was a war on, and people {69} get killed in wars. If it came to that, she was working in a high-explosive shed herself. Caroline couldn’t understand her eldest daughter. She was baffled and annoyed by the way her own good sense had turned out. The married nun looked at the widowed amazon and opted out of the conflict. At least Fancy could stay in her very expensive flat and be a mother to her baby. But Fancy put on a pair of heavy gauntlet gloves and went to France to drive motor lorries. Caroline didn't dare say a word.

The war had no such excitements for Laura. Four times a week she went to a depot and did up parcels. She did them up so well that no one thought of offering her a change of work. The parcel-room was cold and encumbered, early in the war some one had decorated the walls with recruiting posters. By degrees these faded. The ruddy young man and his Spartan mother grew pale, as if with fear, and Britannia’s scarlet cloak trailing on the waters bleached to a cocoa-ish pink. Laura watched them discolour with a muffled heart. She would not allow herself the cheap symbolism they provoked. Time will bleach the scarlet from young men’s cheeks, and from Britannia’s mantle. But blood was scarlet as ever, and she believed that, how{70}ever despairing her disapproval, that blood was being shed for her.

The war didn’t excite Laura at all. Four times a week, she went to a depot and packaged parcels. She did it so well that no one thought of offering her a different job. The parcel room was cold and cluttered; early in the war, someone had decorated the walls with recruiting posters. Gradually, these faded. The bright young man and his proud mother lost their color, as if they were afraid, and Britannia’s red cloak trailing in the water turned a faded pinkish-brown. Laura watched them lose their color with a heavy heart. She wouldn’t let herself indulge in the simple symbolism they suggested. Time will wash the red from young men’s faces and from Britannia’s cloak. But blood was still as red as ever, and she believed that, no matter how desperate her disapproval was, that blood was being shed for her.

She continued to do up parcels until the eleventh day of November 1918. Then, when she heard the noise of cheering and the sounding of hooters, she left her work and went home. The house was empty. Every one had gone out to rejoice. She went up to her room and sat down on the bed. She felt cold and sick, she trembled from head to foot as once she had done after witnessing a dog fight. All the hooters were sounding, they seemed to domineer over the noises of rejoicing with sarcastic emphasis. She got up and walked about the room. On the mantelpiece was a photograph of Titus. ‘Well,’ she said to it, ‘you’ve escaped killing, anyhow.’ Her voice sounded harsh and unreal, she thought the walls of her room were shaking at the concussion, like stage walls. She lay down upon her bed, and presently fainted.

She kept packing up parcels until November 11, 1918. When she heard the cheering and the sound of horns, she left her work and went home. The house was empty. Everyone had gone out to celebrate. She went up to her room and sat down on the bed. She felt cold and sick, trembling all over like she did after witnessing a dog fight. The horns blared, dominating the sounds of celebration with a sarcastic edge. She got up and walked around the room. On the mantel was a photo of Titus. "Well," she said to it, "you've escaped being killed, at least." Her voice sounded rough and unreal, and she thought the walls of her room were shaking from the noise, like stage props. She lay down on her bed and soon fainted.

When she came to herself again she had been discovered by Caroline and put to bed with influenza. She was grateful for this, and for the darkened room and the cool clinking tumblers. She was even grateful for the bad dreams which visited her every night and sent up her tempera{71}ture. By their aid she was enabled to stay in bed for a fortnight, a thing she had not done since she came to London.

When she regained consciousness, Caroline had found her and put her to bed with the flu. She appreciated this, along with the dim room and the cool clinking glasses. She was even thankful for the bad dreams that haunted her every night and raised her temperature. Thanks to them, she was able to stay in bed for two weeks, something she hadn't done since arriving in London.

When she went downstairs again she found Henry and Caroline talking of better days to come. The house was unaltered, yet it had a general air of refurbishment. She also, after her fortnight in bed, felt somehow refurbished, and was soon drawn into the talk of better days. There was nothing immoderate in the family display of satisfaction. Henry still found frowning matter in the Times, and Caroline did not relinquish a single economy. But the satisfaction was there, a demure Willowes-like satisfaction in the family tree that had endured the gale with an unflinching green heart. Laura saw nothing in this to quarrel with. She was rather proud of the Willowes war record; she admired the stolid decorum which had mastered four years of disintegration, and was stolid and decorous still. A lady had inquired of Henry: ‘What do you do in air-raids? Do you go down to the cellar or up to the roof?’ ‘We do neither,’ Henry had replied. ‘We stay where we are.’ A thrill had passed through Laura when she heard this statement of the Willowes mind. But afterwards she questioned the{72} validity of the thrill. Was it nothing more than the response of her emotions to other old and honourable symbols such as the trooping of the colours and the fifteenth chapter of Corinthians, symbols too old and too honourable to have called out her thoughts? She saw how admirable it was for Henry and Caroline to have stayed where they were. But she was conscious, more conscious than they were, that the younger members of the family had somehow moved into new positions. And she herself, had she not slightly strained against her moorings, fast and far sunk as they were? But now the buffeting waves withdrew, and she began to settle back into her place, and to see all around her once more the familiar undisturbed shadows of familiar things. Outwardly there was no difference between her and Henry and Caroline in their resumption of peace. But they, she thought, had done with the war, whereas she had only shelved it, and that by an accident of consciousness.

When she went downstairs again, she found Henry and Caroline talking about better days ahead. The house was unchanged, yet it had a general vibe of refreshment. She also felt somewhat renewed after her two weeks in bed and was quickly drawn into the conversation about brighter days. There was nothing excessive in the family's display of contentment. Henry still found reasons to frown at the Times, and Caroline didn’t give up on a single cost-saving measure. Still, the satisfaction was there, a modest Willowes-like contentment in the family legacy that had withstood the storms with an unwavering heart. Laura saw nothing to disagree with in this. She felt a sense of pride in the Willowes family history; she admired their steady composure that had endured four years of chaos and was still steady and composed. A lady had asked Henry, ‘What do you do during air-raids? Do you go down to the cellar or up to the roof?’ ‘We do neither,’ Henry replied. ‘We stay where we are.’ Laura felt a thrill when she heard this express the Willowes mindset. But later, she questioned the{72}

When the better days to come came, they proved to be modelled as closely as possible upon the days that were past. It was astonishing what little difference differences had made. When they went back to East Bingham—for{73} owing to its military importance, East Bingham had been unsuited for holidays—there were at first a good many traces of war lying about, such as sandbags and barbed-wire entanglements. But on the following summer the sandbags had rotted and burst and the barbed-wire had been absorbed into the farmer’s fences. So, Laura thought, such warlike phenomena as Mr. Wolf-Saunders, Fancy’s second husband, and Jemima and Rosalind, Fancy’s two daughters, might well disappear off the family landscape. Mr. Wolf-Saunders recumbent on the beach was indeed much like a sandbag, and no more arresting to the eye. Jemima and Rosalind were more obtrusive. Here was a new generation to call her Aunt Lolly and find her as indispensable as did the last.

When the better days finally arrived, they turned out to resemble the past as closely as possible. It was surprising how little difference the differences had made. When they returned to East Bingham—because of its military significance, East Bingham hadn't been ideal for vacations—there were still quite a few remnants of the war lying around, like sandbags and barbed-wire fences. But by the next summer, the sandbags had rotted and burst, and the barbed wire had blended into the farmer’s fences. So, Laura thought, figures from the war like Mr. Wolf-Saunders, Fancy’s second husband, along with Jemima and Rosalind, Fancy’s two daughters, could easily vanish from the family picture. Mr. Wolf-Saunders lounging on the beach was indeed much like a sandbag, and just as unnoticeable. Jemima and Rosalind were more noticeable. Here was a new generation ready to call her Aunt Lolly and find her just as essential as the last one did.

‘It is quite like old times,’ said Caroline, who sat working beside her. ‘Isn’t it, Lolly?’

‘It feels just like the old days,’ said Caroline, who was sitting and working next to her. ‘Doesn’t it, Lolly?’

‘Except for these anachronisms,’ said Laura.

'Aside from these outdated references,' Laura said.

Caroline removed the seaweed which Jemima had stuffed into her work-bag. ‘Bless them!’ she said absently. ‘We shall soon be back in town again.{74}

Caroline took out the seaweed that Jemima had crammed into her work bag. “Bless them!” she said absentmindedly. “We’ll be back in town soon again.{74}

Part 2

THE Willoweses came back to London about the second week in September. For many years the children’s schooling had governed the date of their return; and when the children had grown too old for school, the habit had grown too old to be broken. There was also a further reason. The fallen leaves, so Henry and Caroline thought, made the country unhealthy after the second week in September. When Laura was younger she had sometimes tried to argue that, even allowing the unhealthiness of fallen leaves, leaves at that time of year were still green upon the trees. This was considered mere casuistry. When they walked in Kensington Gardens upon the first Sunday morning after their return, Caroline would point along the tarnishing vistas and say: ‘You see, Lolly, the leaves are beginning to fall. It was quite time to come home.’

THE Willoweses returned to London around the second week of September. For many years, the children's school schedule dictated when they came back, and even when the kids outgrew school, that routine was hard to break. There was another reason too. Henry and Caroline believed that fallen leaves made the countryside unhealthy after the second week in September. When Laura was younger, she sometimes tried to argue that, even if fallen leaves were unhealthy, the leaves on the trees were still green this time of year. They dismissed that as just clever debating. On the first Sunday morning after they got back, when they walked in Kensington Gardens, Caroline would point down the changing pathways and say, ‘You see, Lolly, the leaves are starting to fall. It was definitely time to come home.’

It was useless to protest that autumn begins earlier in London than it does in the country. That it did so, Laura knew well. That was why she disliked having to come back; autumn{75} boded her no good, and it was hard that by a day’s train-journey she should lose almost a month’s reprieve. Obediently looking along the tarnishing vistas, she knew that once again she was in for it.

It was pointless to argue that autumn starts earlier in London than it does in the countryside. Laura was well aware of that. That's why she hated having to come back; autumn{75} brought her no good, and it felt unfair that a single train journey cost her nearly a month of relief. As she looked down the fading views, she realized that once again she was in for a tough time.

What It was exactly, she would have found hard to say. She sometimes told herself that it must be the yearly reverberation of those miserable first months in London when her sorrow for her father’s death was still fresh. No other winter had been so cold or so long, not even the long cold winters of the war. Yet now her thoughts of Everard were mellowed and painless, and she had long ago forgiven her sorrow. Had the coming of autumn quickened in her only an experienced grief she would not have dreaded it thus, nor felt so restless and tormented.

What it was exactly, she would have found hard to explain. She sometimes told herself it must be the annual echo of those awful first months in London when her grief for her father’s death was still fresh. No other winter had been as cold or as long, not even the long, chilly winters of the war. Yet now her thoughts of Everard were softened and pain-free, and she had long since forgiven her grief. If the arrival of autumn had only intensified an experienced sorrow, she wouldn't have dreaded it so much, nor felt so restless and tormented.

Her disquiet had no relevance to her life. It arose out of the ground with the smell of the dead leaves: it followed her through the darkening streets; it confronted her in the look of the risen moon. ‘Now! Now!’ it said to her: and no more. The moon seemed to have torn the leaves from the trees that it might stare at her more imperiously. Sometimes she tried to account for her uneasiness by saying that she was growing old, and that the year’s death re{76}minded her of her own. She compared herself to the ripening acorn that feels through windless autumnal days and nights the increasing pull of the earth below. That explanation was very poetical and suitable. But it did not explain what she felt. She was not wildly anxious either to die or to live; why, then, should she be rent by this anxiety?

Her unease had nothing to do with her life. It came up from the ground with the scent of dead leaves: it followed her through the darkening streets; it confronted her in the gaze of the rising moon. ‘Now! Now!’ it told her: and nothing more. The moon seemed to have stripped the leaves from the trees just to stare at her more commanding. Sometimes she tried to make sense of her discomfort by telling herself that she was getting older, and that the end of the year reminded her of her own. She compared herself to the ripening acorn, which feels the Earth’s increasing pull during calm autumn days and nights. That explanation was poetic and fitting. But it didn’t clarify what she felt. She wasn’t desperately eager to die or to live; so why should this anxiety tear at her?

At these times she was subject to a peculiar kind of day-dreaming, so vivid as to be almost a hallucination: that she was in the country, at dusk, and alone, and strangely at peace. She did not recall the places which she had visited in holiday-time, these reproached her like opportunities neglected. But while her body sat before the first fires and was cosy with Henry and Caroline, her mind walked by lonely sea-bords, in marshes and fens, or came at nightfall to the edge of a wood. She never imagined herself in these places by daylight. She never thought of them as being in any way beautiful. It was not beauty at all that she wanted, or, depressed though she was, she would have bought a ticket to somewhere or other upon the Metropolitan railway and gone out to see the recumbent autumnal graces of the country-side. Her mind was groping{77} after something that eluded her experience, a something that was shadowy and menacing, and yet in some way congenial; a something that lurked in waste places, that was hinted at by the sound of water gurgling through deep channels and by the voices of birds of ill-omen. Loneliness, dreariness, aptness for arousing a sense of fear, a kind of ungodly hallowedness—these were the things that called her thoughts away from the comfortable fireside.

At those times, she experienced a strange kind of daydreaming, so vivid it felt almost like a hallucination: that she was in the countryside at dusk, alone, and oddly at peace. She couldn’t remember the places she had visited during holidays; they felt like lost opportunities. While her body sat by the first fires, cozy with Henry and Caroline, her mind wandered along lonely coastlines, through marshes and wetlands, or arrived at dusk at the edge of a forest. She never pictured herself in those places during the day. She didn’t see them as beautiful at all. It wasn’t beauty she was searching for; if she hadn’t felt so down, she might have bought a ticket on the Metropolitan railway and gone out to take in the relaxed autumn charm of the countryside. Her mind was reaching{77} for something that slipped away from her experiences, something shadowy and threatening, yet somehow familiar; something that hid in desolate areas, hinted at by the sound of water flowing through deep channels and the calls of ominous birds. Loneliness, bleakness, a tendency to provoke fear, a sort of twisted sanctity—these were the things that pulled her thoughts away from the warm fireside.

In this mood she would sometimes go off to explore among the City churches, or to lose herself in the riverside quarters east of the Pool. She liked to think of the London of Defoe’s Journal, and to fancy herself back in the seventeenth century, when, so it seemed to her, there were still darknesses in men’s minds. Once, hemmed in by the jostling tombstones at Bunhill Fields, she almost pounced on the clue to her disquiet; and once again in the goods-yard of the G.W.R., where she had gone to find, not her own secret, but a case of apples for Caroline.

In this mood, she would sometimes wander off to explore the churches in the city or lose herself in the riverside areas east of the Pool. She enjoyed imagining the London of Defoe's Journal, picturing herself back in the seventeenth century when, as it seemed to her, there were still shadows in people’s minds. Once, surrounded by the crowded tombstones at Bunhill Fields, she nearly stumbled upon the reason for her unease; and another time in the goods yard of the G.W.R., where she had gone to find not her own secret but a box of apples for Caroline.

As time went on Laura grew accustomed to this recurrent autumnal fever. It was as much a sign of the season as the falling leaves or the first frost. Before the end of November it was all over and done with. The next moon had{78} no message for her. Her rambles in the strange places of the mind were at an end. And if she still went on expeditions to Rotherhithe or the Jews’ Burying-Ground, she went in search for no more than a little diversion. Nothing was left but cold and sleet and the knowledge that all this fuss had been about nothing. She fortified herself against the dismalness of this reaction by various small self-indulgences. Out of these she had contrived for herself a sort of mental fur coat. Roasted chestnuts could be bought and taken home for bedroom eating. Second-hand book-shops were never so enticing; and the combination of east winds and London water made it allowable to experiment in the most expensive soaps. Coming back from her expeditions, westward from the city with the sunset in her eyes, or eastward from a waning Kew, she would pause for a sumptuous and furtive tea, eating marrons glacés with a silver fork in the reflecting warm glitter of a smart pastry-cook’s. These things were exciting enough to be pleasurable, for she kept them secret. Henry and Caroline would scarcely have minded if they had known. They were quite indifferent as to where and how she spent her afternoons; they felt no need to question her, since they could be{79} sure that she would do nothing unsuitable or extravagant. Laura’s expeditions were secret because no one asked her where she had been. Had they asked, she must have answered. But she did not examine too closely into this; she liked to think of them as secret.

As time passed, Laura got used to this recurring autumn fever. It was as much a sign of the season as the falling leaves or the first frost. By the end of November, it was all over. The next moon had{78} no message for her. Her wanderings in the strange corners of her mind had come to an end. Even if she still took trips to Rotherhithe or the Jews' Burying-Ground, it was just for a little distraction. All that was left was the cold, sleet, and the realization that all this fuss had been for nothing. She shielded herself against the gloom of this realization with various small indulgences. From these, she had created a kind of mental fur coat. Roasted chestnuts could be bought and enjoyed in bed. Second-hand bookstores were more alluring than ever; and the combination of east winds and London’s water made it okay to splurge on the most luxurious soaps. After her outings, whether heading west from the city with the sunset in her eyes or east from a fading Kew, she would stop for a lavish and discreet tea, enjoying marrons glacés with a silver fork in the warm, sparkling ambiance of a fancy bakery. These experiences were exciting enough to be enjoyable because she kept them to herself. Henry and Caroline wouldn't have minded if they had known. They were quite indifferent to where and how she spent her afternoons; they felt no need to ask her, confident she would never do anything inappropriate or extravagant. Laura’s outings felt secret because no one asked her where she had been. If they had, she would have had to answer. But she didn’t think about it too much; she liked to consider them as her little secrets.

One manifestation of the fur-coat policy, however, could not be kept from their knowledge, and that manifestation slightly qualified their trust that Laura would do nothing unsuitable or extravagant.

One sign of the fur-coat policy, however, couldn't be hidden from them, and that sign somewhat affected their trust that Laura would do anything inappropriate or over-the-top.

Except for a gradual increment of Christmas and birthday presents, Laura’s room had altered little since the day it ceased to be the small spare-room and became hers. But every winter it blossomed with an unseasonable luxury of flowers, profusely, shameless as a greenhouse.

Except for a slow increase in Christmas and birthday gifts, Laura’s room hadn’t changed much since it stopped being the small spare room and became hers. But every winter, it bloomed with an unexpected extravagance of flowers, overflowing, as bold as a greenhouse.

‘Why, Lolly! Lilies at this time of year!’ Caroline would say, not reproachfully, but still with a consciousness that in the drawing-room there were dahlias, and in the dining-room a fern, and in her own sitting-room, where she did the accounts, neither ferns nor flowers. Then Laura would thrust the lilies into her hands; and she would take them to show that she had not spoken with ill-will. Besides, Lolly would really see more of them if they were in the{80} drawing-room. And the next day she would meet Laura on the stairs carrying azaleas. On one occasion even Henry had noticed the splendour of the lilies: red lilies, angular, authoritative in form and colour like cardinal’s hats.

‘Why, Lolly! Lilies at this time of year!’ Caroline would say, not harshly, but still aware that in the living room there were dahlias, and in the dining room a fern, and in her own sitting room, where she did the accounts, neither ferns nor flowers. Then Laura would push the lilies into her hands; and she would take them to show she hadn’t meant any harm. Besides, Lolly would actually see more of them if they were in the {80} living room. The next day she would run into Laura on the stairs carrying azaleas. On one occasion, even Henry had noticed the beauty of the lilies: red lilies, sharp and commanding in shape and color like cardinal’s hats.

‘Where do these come from?’ Caroline had asked, knowing well that nothing so costly in appearance could come from her florist.

‘Where do these come from?’ Caroline had asked, fully aware that nothing that looked this expensive could come from her florist.

‘From Africa,’ Laura had answered, pressing the firm, wet stalks into her hand.

‘From Africa,’ Laura had replied, pressing the solid, damp stems into her hand.

‘Oh well, I daresay they are quite common flowers there,’ said Caroline to herself, trying to gloss over the slight awkwardness of accepting a trifle so needlessly splendid.

‘Oh well, I suppose they are pretty common flowers there,’ said Caroline to herself, trying to brush off the slight awkwardness of accepting such an unnecessarily extravagant gift.

Henry had also asked where they came from.

Henry had also asked where they were from.

‘From Anthos, I believe,’ said Caroline.

‘From Anthos, I think,’ Caroline said.

‘Ah!’ said Henry, and roused the coins in his trousers pocket.

‘Ah!’ said Henry, rustling the coins in his pocket.

‘It’s rather naughty of Lolly. Would you like me just to hint to her that she mustn’t be quite so reckless?’

‘It’s pretty mischievous of Lolly. Would you like me to just suggest to her that she shouldn’t be so reckless?’

‘No. Better not. No need for her to worry about such things.’

‘No. It’s best not to. There’s no need for her to stress over stuff like that.’

Husband and wife exchanged a glance of compassionate understanding. It was better not. Much better that Lolly should not be worried about money matters. She was safe in their{81} hands. They could look after Lolly. Henry was like a wall, and Caroline’s breasts were like towers.

Husband and wife shared a look of compassion and understanding. It was better this way. Much better that Lolly shouldn't be concerned about money issues. She was safe in their{81} hands. They could take care of Lolly. Henry was solid like a wall, and Caroline’s breasts were like towers.

They condoned this extravagance, yet they mistrusted it. Time justified them in their mistrust. Like many stupid people, they possessed acute instincts. ‘He that is unfaithful in little things ...’ Caroline would say when the children forgot to wind up their watches. Their instinct told them that the same truth applies to extravagance in little things. They were wiser than they knew. When Laura’s extravagance in great things came it staggered them so completely that they forgot how judiciously they had suspected it beforehand.

They allowed this extravagance but didn’t really trust it. Time proved their mistrust was valid. Like many foolish people, they had sharp instincts. “Whoever is unfaithful in small things…” Caroline would say when the kids forgot to wind their watches. Their instincts told them the same truth applied to being extravagant in little things. They were smarter than they realized. When Laura’s big extravagance hit, it shocked them so much that they forgot how wisely they had suspected it beforehand.

It befell in the winter of 1921. The war was safely over, so was their silver wedding, so was Marion’s first confinement. Titus was in his third year at Oxford, Sibyl was at last going grey, Henry might be made a judge at any moment. The Trade Returns and the Stock Exchange were not all that they should be, and there was always the influenza. But Henry was doing well enough to be lenient to his investments, and Aunt Lucilla and her fortune had been mercifully released. In the coming spring Caroline proposed to have the house{82} thoroughly done up. The lesser renovations she was getting over beforehand, and that was why Laura had gone out before the shops shut to show Mr. Bunting a pair of massy candlesticks and to inquire how much he would charge for re-plating them. His estimate was high, too high to be accepted upon her own responsibility. She decided to carry the candlesticks back and consult Caroline.

It happened in the winter of 1921. The war was finally over, along with their silver wedding anniversary and Marion's first hospitalization after giving birth. Titus was in his third year at Oxford, Sibyl was finally starting to go grey, and Henry might become a judge any day now. The Trade Returns and the Stock Exchange weren’t doing great, and there was always the threat of influenza. But Henry was doing well enough to be easygoing about his investments, and Aunt Lucilla and her fortune had been thankfully freed up. In the upcoming spring, Caroline planned to completely renovate the house{82}. She was getting some smaller renovations done ahead of time, which is why Laura had gone out before the shops closed to show Mr. Bunting a pair of heavy candlesticks and to ask how much he would charge to re-plate them. His quote was high, too high for her to accept on her own. She decided to take the candlesticks back and talk to Caroline.

Mr. Bunting lived in the Earls Court Road, rather a long way off for such a family friend. But she had plenty of time for walking back, and for diversion she thought she would take a circuitous route, including the two foxes who guard the forsaken approach in Holland Park and the lane beside the Bayswater Synagogue. It was in Moscow Road that she began to be extravagant. But when she walked into the little shop she had no particular intention of extravagance, for Caroline’s parcel hung remindingly upon her arm, and the shop itself, half florist and half greengrocer, had a simple appearance.

Mr. Bunting lived on Earls Court Road, quite a distance for someone like her to visit. But she had plenty of time to walk back, and to enjoy herself, she decided to take a longer route that included the two foxes that stand guard at the deserted entrance in Holland Park and the alley next to the Bayswater Synagogue. It was on Moscow Road that she started to splurge a bit. However, when she entered the small shop, she didn’t plan on being extravagant, as Caroline’s package was still hanging noticeably from her arm, and the shop, which was part florist and part greengrocer, had an unassuming look.

There were several other customers, and while she stood waiting to be served she looked about her. The aspect of the shop pleased her greatly. It was small and homely. Fruit and{83} flowers and vegetables were crowded together in countrified disorder. On the sloping shelf in the window, among apples and rough-skinned cooking pears and trays of walnuts, chestnuts, and filberts, was a basket of eggs, smooth and brown, like some larger kind of nut. At one side of the room was a wooden staging. On this stood jars of home-made jam and bottled fruits. It was as though the remnants of summer had come into the little shop for shelter. On the floor lay a heap of earthy turnips.

There were several other customers, and as she waited to be served, she looked around. She really liked the way the shop looked. It was small and cozy. Fruit, flowers, and vegetables were all mixed together in a charming, rustic way. On the sloped shelf in the window, among apples and rough-skinned cooking pears and trays of walnuts, chestnuts, and hazelnuts, was a basket of eggs, smooth and brown, like some bigger type of nut. On one side of the room was a wooden shelf. On it stood jars of homemade jam and bottled fruits. It felt like the leftovers of summer had come to this little shop for shelter. On the floor lay a pile of earthy turnips.

Laura looked at the bottled fruits, the sliced pears in syrup, the glistening red plums, the greengages. She thought of the woman who had filled those jars and fastened on the bladders. Perhaps the greengrocer’s mother lived in the country. A solitary old woman picking fruit in a darkening orchard, rubbing her rough fingertips over the smooth-skinned plums, a lean wiry old woman, standing with upstretched arms among her fruit trees as though she were a tree herself, growing out of the long grass, with arms stretched up like branches. It grew darker and darker; still she worked on, methodically stripping the quivering taut boughs one after the other.

Laura stared at the bottled fruits, the sliced pears in syrup, the shiny red plums, the greengages. She thought about the woman who had filled those jars and sealed them. Maybe the greengrocer’s mom lived in the countryside. A lonely old woman picking fruit in a fading orchard, rubbing her rough fingertips over the smooth plums, a lean, wiry old lady, standing with her arms lifted among the fruit trees as if she were a tree herself, growing out of the tall grass, with arms raised like branches. It got darker and darker; yet she kept working, methodically stripping the trembling branches one after another.

As Laura stood waiting she felt a great longing{84}. It weighed upon her like the load of ripened fruit upon a tree. She forgot the shop, the other customers, her own errand. She forgot the winter air outside, the people going by on the wet pavements. She forgot that she was in London, she forgot the whole of her London life. She seemed to be standing alone in a darkening orchard, her feet in the grass, her arms stretched up to the pattern of leaves and fruit, her fingers seeking the rounded ovals of the fruit among the pointed ovals of the leaves. The air about her was cool and moist. There was no sound, for the birds had left off singing and the owls had not yet begun to hoot. No sound, except sometimes the soft thud of a ripe plum falling into the grass, to lie there a compact shadow among shadows. The back of her neck ached a little with the strain of holding up her arms. Her fingers searched among the leaves.

As Laura waited, she felt a deep longing{84}. It weighed on her like the burden of ripe fruit on a tree. She forgot about the shop, the other customers, and her own task. She forgot the winter air outside, the people walking on the wet sidewalks. She even forgot that she was in London, along with all of her life in the city. She felt as if she were standing alone in a darkening orchard, her feet in the grass, her arms reaching up to the pattern of leaves and fruit, her fingers searching for the round shapes of the fruit among the pointed shapes of the leaves. The air around her was cool and damp. There was no sound, as the birds had stopped singing and the owls had not yet started to hoot. No sound, except for the occasional soft thud of a ripe plum dropping into the grass, resting there as a solid shadow among shadows. The back of her neck ached slightly from the effort of holding her arms up. Her fingers continued to explore among the leaves.

She started as the man of the shop came up to her and asked her what she wished for. Her eyes blinked, she looked with surprise at the gloves upon her hands.

She began as the shopkeeper approached her and asked what she wanted. Her eyes blinked, and she looked in surprise at the gloves on her hands.

‘I want one of those large chrysanthemums,’ she said, and turned towards the window where they stood in a brown jar. There were the apples and pears, the eggs, the disordered nuts{85} overflowing from their compartments. There on the floor were the earthy turnips, and close at hand were the jams and bottled fruits. If she was behaving foolishly, if she looked like a woman roused out of a fond dream, these were kindly things to waken to. The man of the shop also had a kind face. He wore a gardener’s apron, and his hands were brown and dry as if he had been handling earth.

‘I want one of those big chrysanthemums,’ she said, turning towards the window where they were in a brown jar. There were apples and pears, eggs, and a messy pile of nuts{85} spilling out of their compartments. On the floor lay earthy turnips, and nearby were jars of jams and bottled fruits. Even if she was acting foolishly, like a woman waking from a sweet dream, these were nice things to wake up to. The shopkeeper had a friendly face too. He wore a gardener’s apron, and his hands were brown and dry, as if he had been working with soil.

‘Which one would you like, ma’am?’ he asked, turning the bunch of chrysanthemums about that she might choose for herself. She looked at the large mop-headed blossoms. Their curled petals were deep garnet colour within and tawny yellow without. As the light fell on their sleek flesh the garnet colour glowed, the tawny yellow paled as if it were thinly washed with silver. She longed for the moment when she might stroke her hand over those mop heads.

‘Which one do you want, ma’am?’ he asked, holding out the bunch of chrysanthemums for her to pick from. She looked at the large, fluffy blossoms. Their curled petals were a deep garnet color inside and a tawny yellow outside. As the light hit their smooth surface, the garnet color seemed to shine, while the tawny yellow faded as if it were lightly dusted with silver. She couldn't wait to touch those fluffy heads.

‘I think I will take them all,’ she said.

‘I think I’ll take them all,’ she said.

‘They’re lovely blooms,’ said the man.

‘They’re beautiful flowers,’ said the man.

He was pleased. He did not expect such a good customer at this late hour.

He was happy. He didn't expect such a good customer at this late hour.

When he brought her the change from her pound-note and the chrysanthemums pinned up in sheets of white paper, he brought also several sprays of beech leaves. These, he explained,{86} were thrown in with her purchase. Laura took them into her arms. The great fans of orange tracery seemed to her even more beautiful than the chrysanthemums, for they had been given to her, they were a surprise. She sniffed. They smelt of woods, of dark rustling woods like the wood to whose edge she came so often in the country of her autumn imagination. She stood very still to make quite sure of her sensations. Then: ‘Where do they come from?’ she asked.

When he handed her the change from her pound note along with the chrysanthemums wrapped in white paper, he also included a few sprigs of beech leaves. These, he said, {86} were thrown in with her purchase. Laura held them close. The large fans of orange patterns seemed even more stunning than the chrysanthemums because they were given to her, and they were a surprise. She took a deep breath. They smelled of woods, of dark whispering forests like the one she often visited in her autumn daydreams. She stood very still to fully savor her feelings. Then she asked, "Where do they come from?"

‘From near Chenies, ma’am, in Buckinghamshire. I have a sister living there, and every Sunday I go out to see her, and bring back a load of foliage with me.’

‘From near Chenies, ma’am, in Buckinghamshire. I have a sister who lives there, and every Sunday I go to visit her and bring back a bunch of leaves with me.’

There was no need to ask now who made the jams and tied on the bladders. Laura knew all that she wanted to know. Her course lay clear before her. Holding the sprays of beech as though she were marching on Dunsinane, she went to a bookseller’s. There she bought a small guide-book to the Chilterns and inquired for a map of that district. It must, she explained, be very detailed, and give as many names and footpaths as possible. Her eyes were so bright and her demands so earnest that the bookseller, though he had not that kind of map,{87} was sympathetic, and directed her to another shop where she could find what she wanted. It was only a little way off, but closing-time was at hand, so she took a taxi. Having bought the map she took another taxi home. But at the top of Apsley Terrace she had one of her impulses of secrecy and told the driver that she would walk the rest of the way.

There was no need to ask now who made the jams and tied on the bladders. Laura knew everything she needed to know. Her path was clear ahead of her. Holding the sprays of beech as if she were marching on Dunsinane, she headed to a bookstore. There, she bought a small guidebook to the Chilterns and asked for a map of the area. It needed to be very detailed, showing as many names and footpaths as possible. Her eyes were so bright and her requests so serious that the bookseller, even though he didn’t have that type of map,{87} felt sympathetic and directed her to another shop where she could find what she needed. It was only a short distance away, but with closing time approaching, she took a taxi. After buying the map, she caught another taxi home. However, at the top of Apsley Terrace, she felt a sudden urge for secrecy and told the driver she would walk the rest of the way.

There was rather a narrow squeak in the hall, for Caroline’s parcel became entangled in the gong stand, and she heard Henry coming up from the wine cellar. If she alarmed the gong Henry would quicken his steps. She had no time to waste on Henry just then for she had a great deal to think of before dinner. She ran up to her room, arranged the chrysanthemums and the beech leaves, and began to read the guide-book. It was just what she wanted, for it was extremely plain and unperturbed. Beginning as early as possible with Geology, it passed to Flora and Fauna, Watersheds, Ecclesiastical Foundations and Local Government. After that came a list of all the towns and villages, shortly described in alphabetical order. Lamb’s End had three hundred inhabitants and a perpendicular font. At Walpole St. Dennis was the country seat of the Bartlet family, faced{88} with stucco and situated upon an eminence. The almshouses at Semple, built in 1703 by Bethia Hood, had a fine pair of wrought-iron gates. It was dark as she pressed her nose against the scrolls and rivets. Bats flickered in the little courtyard, and shadows moved across the yellow blinds. Had she been born a deserving widow, life would have been simplified.

There was a bit of a close call in the hallway when Caroline's package got stuck in the gong stand, and she heard Henry coming up from the wine cellar. If she set off the gong, Henry would rush over. She didn’t have time to deal with him right then because she had a lot to figure out before dinner. She dashed up to her room, arranged the chrysanthemums and beech leaves, and started reading the guidebook. It was exactly what she needed, as it was very straightforward and calm. Starting with Geology, it moved on to Flora and Fauna, Watersheds, Religious Institutions, and Local Government. After that, there was a list of all the towns and villages, briefly described in alphabetical order. Lamb’s End had three hundred residents and a tall font. At Walpole St. Dennis was the country home of the Bartlet family, faced with stucco and sitting on a rise. The almshouses at Semple, built in 1703 by Bethia Hood, had a beautiful pair of wrought-iron gates. It was dark as she pressed her nose against the scrolls and rivets. Bats flitted around in the small courtyard, and shadows moved across the yellow blinds. If she had been a deserving widow, life would have been simpler.

She wasted no time over this regret, for now at last she was simplifying life for herself. She unfolded the map. The woods were coloured green and the main roads red. There was a great deal of green. She looked at the beech leaves. As she looked a leaf detached itself and fell slowly. She remembered squirrels.

She didn’t dwell on her regret because she was finally simplifying her life. She unfolded the map. The woods were colored green and the main roads were red. There was a lot of green. She looked at the beech leaves. As she observed, a leaf broke free and fell gently. She thought about squirrels.

The stairs creaked under the tread of Dunlop with the hot-water can. Dunlop entered, glancing neither at Laura curled askew on the bed nor at the chrysanthemums ennobling the dressing-table. She was a perfectly trained servant. Before she left the room she took a deep breath, stooped down, and picked up the beech leaf.

The stairs creaked under Dunlop's weight as he carried the hot-water can. Dunlop walked in, not looking at Laura, who was curled awkwardly on the bed, nor at the chrysanthemums brightening the dressing table. She was a well-trained servant. Before leaving the room, she took a deep breath, bent down, and picked up the beech leaf.

Quarter of an hour afterwards Laura exclaimed: ‘Oh! a windmill!’ She took up the guide-book again, and began to read intently.

A little while later, Laura exclaimed, “Oh! A windmill!” She picked up the guidebook again and started reading it carefully.

She was roused by an unaccustomed clash of{89} affable voices in the hall. She remembered, leapt off the bed, and dressed rapidly for the family dinner-party. They were all there when she reached the drawing-room. Sibyl and Titus, Fancy and her Mr. Wolf-Saunders, Marion with the latest news from Sprat, who, being in the Soudan, could not dine out with his wife. Sprat had had another boil on his neck, but it had yielded to treatment. ‘Ah, poor fellow,’ said Henry. He seemed to be saying: ‘The price of Empire.’

She was awakened by an unusual mix of friendly voices in the hallway. She remembered, jumped out of bed, and quickly got ready for the family dinner party. They were all there when she arrived in the drawing room. Sibyl and Titus, Fancy and her Mr. Wolf-Saunders, Marion with the latest news about Sprat, who, being in the Soudan, couldn't join his wife for dinner. Sprat had another boil on his neck, but it had responded to treatment. “Ah, poor guy,” Henry said. He seemed to be implying, “The cost of Empire.”

During dinner Laura looked at her relations. She felt as though she had awoken, unchanged, from a twenty-years slumber, to find them almost unrecognisable. She surveyed them, one after the other. Even Henry and Caroline, whom she saw every day, were half hidden under their accumulations—accumulations of prosperity, authority, daily experience. They were carpeted with experience. No new event could set jarring foot on them but they would absorb and muffle the impact. If the boiler burst, if a policeman climbed in at the window waving a sword, Henry and Caroline would bring the situation to heel by their massive experience of normal boilers and normal policemen.

During dinner, Laura observed her family. It felt like she had woken up, unchanged, from a twenty-year sleep, only to find them almost unrecognizable. She looked at each of them, one by one. Even Henry and Caroline, whom she saw every day, seemed half buried under their layers—layers of success, authority, and everyday experiences. They were weighed down by their experiences. No new event could disturb them, but they would absorb and soften any impact. If the boiler broke, or if a policeman came in through the window waving a sword, Henry and Caroline would manage the situation effortlessly with their extensive knowledge of ordinary boilers and regular policemen.

She turned her eyes to Sibyl. How strange{90} it was that Sibyl should have exchanged her former look of a pretty ferret for this refined and waxen mask. Only when she was silent, though, as now she was, listening to Henry with her eyes cast down to her empty plate: when she spoke the ferret look came back. But Sibyl in her house at Hampstead must have spent many long afternoons in silence, learning this unexpected beauty, preparing her face for the last look of death. What had been her thoughts? Why was she so different when she spoke? Which, what, was the real Sibyl: the greedy, agile little ferret or this memorial urn?

She looked over at Sibyl. How odd{90} it was that Sibyl had traded her previous cute ferret look for this refined and waxy mask. But only when she was quiet, like she was now, staring at her empty plate while listening to Henry: when she spoke, the ferret look returned. Yet Sibyl at her home in Hampstead must have spent many long afternoons in silence, discovering this surprising beauty, getting her face ready for the final moment of death. What were her thoughts? Why did she change so much when she spoke? Which one was the real Sibyl: the greedy, quick little ferret or this somber urn?

Fancy’s Mr. Wolf-Saunders had eaten all his bread and was at a loss. Laura turned to him and asked after her great-nephew, who was just then determined to be a bus-conductor. ‘He probably will be,’ said his father gloomily, ‘if things go on as they are at present.’

Fancy’s Mr. Wolf-Saunders had eaten all his bread and was feeling lost. Laura turned to him and asked about her great-nephew, who was currently set on becoming a bus conductor. “He probably will be,” his father said gloomily, “if things continue as they are now.”

Great-nephews and great-nieces suggested nephews and nieces. Resuming her scrutiny of the table she looked at Fancy, Marion, and Titus. They had grown up as surprisingly as trees since she first knew them, and yet it did not seem to her that they were so much changed as their elders. Titus, in particular, was easily recognisable. She caught his eye, and he smiled{91} back at her, just as he had smiled back when he was a baby. Now he was long and slim, and his hay-coloured hair was brushed smoothly back instead of standing up in a crest. But one lock had fallen forward when he laughed, and hung over his left eye, and this gave him a pleasing, rustic look. She was glad still to be friends with Titus. He might very usefully abet her, and though she felt in no need of allies, a little sympathy would do no harm. Certainly the rustic forelock made Titus look particularly congenial. And how greedily he was eating that apple, and with what disparagement of imported fruit he had waved away the Californian plums! It was nice to feel sure of his understanding and approval, since at this moment he was looking the greatest Willowes of them all.

Great-nephews and great-nieces suggested nephews and nieces. Picking up her examination of the table, she glanced at Fancy, Marion, and Titus. They had grown up just like trees since she first met them, yet it didn’t seem to her that they had changed as much as their older relatives. Titus, in particular, was easily recognizable. She caught his eye, and he smiled{91} back at her, just like he had when he was a baby. Now he was tall and slim, and his light brown hair was neatly brushed back instead of standing up high. But one lock had fallen forward when he laughed, hanging over his left eye, giving him a charming, rustic look. She was happy to still be friends with Titus. He could be really helpful, and even though she didn’t feel like she needed any allies, a little sympathy wouldn’t hurt. That rustic lock definitely made Titus seem particularly friendly. And look how eagerly he was eating that apple, waving away the Californian plums with disdain! It was nice to know she could count on his understanding and approval, especially since at that moment he looked like the best of the Willowes.

Most of the family attention was focussed on Titus that evening. No sooner had coffee been served than Sibyl began about his career. Had Caroline ever heard of anything more ridiculous? Titus still declared that he meant to manage the family brewery. After all his success at Oxford and his popularity, could anything be more absurd than to bury himself in Somerset?

Most of the family’s attention was on Titus that evening. As soon as coffee was served, Sibyl started talking about his career. Had Caroline ever heard anything more ridiculous? Titus still insisted that he planned to run the family brewery. After all his success at Oxford and his popularity, could anything be more absurd than to lock himself away in Somerset?

His own name was the first thing that Titus heard as he entered the drawing-room. He{92} greeted it with an approving smile, and sat down by Laura, carefully crossing his long legs.

His own name was the first thing Titus heard as he entered the drawing room. He{92} responded with a pleased smile and sat down next to Laura, carefully crossing his long legs.

‘She spurns at the brewery, and wants me to take a studio in Hampstead and model bustos,’ he explained.

‘She scoffs at the brewery and wants me to get a studio in Hampstead to create busts,’ he explained.

Titus had a soft voice. His speech was gentle and sedate. He chose his words with extreme care, but escaped the charge of affectation by pronouncing them in a hesitating manner.

Titus had a soft voice. His speech was gentle and calm. He chose his words very carefully but avoided sounding pretentious by saying them in a hesitant way.

‘I’m sure sculpture is his métier,’ said Sibyl. ‘Or perhaps poetry. Anyhow, not brewing. I wish you could have seen that little model he made of the grocer at Arcachon.’

‘I’m sure sculpture is his métier,’ said Sibyl. ‘Or maybe poetry. Either way, definitely not brewing. I wish you could have seen that little model he made of the grocer at Arcachon.’

Marion said: ‘I thought bustos always had wigs.’

Marion said, "I thought busts always had wigs."

‘My dear, you’ve hit it. In fact, that is my objection to this plan for making me a sculptor. Revive the wig, and I object no more. The head is the noblest part of man’s anatomy. Therefore enlarge it with a wig.’

‘My dear, you’ve got it right. Actually, that’s my main issue with this plan to make me a sculptor. Bring back the wig, and I won’t have any more objections. The head is the most important part of a person’s anatomy. So, let’s make it bigger with a wig.’

Henry thought the conversation was taking a foolish turn. But as host it was his duty to take part in it.

Henry thought the conversation was getting silly. But as the host, it was his responsibility to participate in it.

‘What about the Elgin Marbles?’ he inquired. ‘No wigs there.’

‘What about the Elgin Marbles?’ he asked. ‘No wigs involved.’

The Peruke and its Functions in Attic Drama, thought Titus, would be a pretty fancy. But it{93} would not do for his uncle. Agreeably he admitted that there were no wigs in the Elgin Marbles.

The Peruke and its Functions in Attic Drama, thought Titus, would be a nice touch. But it{93} wouldn't work for his uncle. He reluctantly acknowledged that there were no wigs in the Elgin Marbles.

They fell into silence. At an ordinary dinner party Caroline would have felt this silence to be a token that the dinner party was a failure. But this was a family affair, there was no disgrace in having nothing to say. They were all Willoweses and the silence was a seemly Willowes silence. She could even emphasise it by counting her stitches aloud.

They fell silent. At a regular dinner party, Caroline would have seen this silence as a sign that the event was a flop. But this was a family gathering, and there was no shame in having nothing to say. They were all Willoweses, and the silence was an appropriate Willowes silence. She could even highlight it by counting her stitches out loud.

All the chairs and sofas were comfortable. The fire burnt brightly, the curtains hung in solemn folds; they looked almost as solemn as organ pipes. Lolly had gone off into one of her day dreams, just her way, she would never trouble to give a party the least prod. Only Sibyl fidgeted, twisting her heel about in her satin slipper.

All the chairs and couches were comfy. The fire blazed brightly, and the curtains hung in serious folds; they looked almost as serious as organ pipes. Lolly had drifted off into one of her daydreams, just like usual; she would never bother to give a party even the slightest push. Only Sibyl fidgeted, twisting her heel around in her satin slipper.

‘What pretty buckles, Sibyl! Have I seen them before?’

‘What nice buckles, Sibyl! Have I seen them before?’

Sibyl had bought them second-hand for next to nothing. They came from Arles, and the old lady who had sold them to her had been such a character. She repeated the characteristic remarks of the old lady in a very competent French accent. Her feet were as slim as ever, and she could stretch them out very prettily.{94} Even in doing so she remembered to ask Caroline where they were going for the Easter holidays.

Sibyl had bought them second-hand for almost nothing. They were from Arles, and the older woman who sold them to her had been quite a character. She mimicked the old lady's distinctive remarks in a very convincing French accent. Her feet were as slim as ever, and she could stretch them out very elegantly.{94} Even while doing this, she remembered to ask Caroline where they were going for the Easter holidays.

‘Oh, to Blythe, I expect,’ said Caroline. ‘We know it.’

‘Oh, to Blythe, I guess,’ said Caroline. ‘We know that.’

‘When I have evicted my tenants and brewed a large butt of family ale, I shall invite you all down to Lady Place,’ said Titus.

‘Once I've evicted my tenants and brewed a big batch of family ale, I’ll invite you all down to Lady Place,’ said Titus.

‘But before then,’ said Laura, speaking rather fast, ‘I hope you will all come to visit me at Great Mop.’

‘But before then,’ Laura said quickly, ‘I hope you all come to visit me at Great Mop.’

Every one turned to stare at her in bewilderment.

Everyone turned to look at her in confusion.

‘Of course, it won’t be as comfortable as Lady Place. And I don’t suppose there will be room for more than one of you at a time. But I’m sure you’ll think it delightful.’

‘Of course, it won’t be as comfortable as Lady Place. And I don’t think there will be space for more than one of you at a time. But I’m sure you’ll find it lovely.’

‘I don’t understand,’ said Caroline. ‘What is this place, Lolly?’

‘I don’t get it,’ said Caroline. ‘What is this place, Lolly?’

‘Great Mop. It’s not really Great. It’s in the Chilterns.’

‘Great Mop. It’s not actually great. It’s in the Chilterns.’

‘But why should we go there?’

‘But why should we go there?’

‘To visit me. I’m going to live there.’

‘To visit me. I’m going to live there.’

‘Live there? My dear Lolly!’

"Live there? Oh, Lolly!"

‘Live there, Aunt Lolly?’

"Do you live there, Aunt Lolly?"

‘This is very sudden. Is there really a place called ...?’

‘This is really sudden. Is there actually a place called ...?’

‘Lolly, you are mystifying us.{95}

"Lolly, you're confusing us."

They all spoke at once, but Henry spoke loudest, so Laura replied to him.

They all talked at the same time, but Henry was the loudest, so Laura answered him.

‘No, Henry, I’m not mystifying you. Great Mop is a village in the Chilterns, and I am going to live there, and perhaps keep a donkey. And you must all come on visits.’

‘No, Henry, I’m not trying to confuse you. Great Mop is a village in the Chilterns, and I’m going to live there, and maybe get a donkey. And you all have to come visit.’

‘I’ve never even heard of the place!’ said Henry conclusively.

"I've never even heard of that place!" said Henry firmly.

‘But you’ll love it. “A secluded hamlet in the heart of the Chilterns, Great Mop is situated twelve miles from Wickendon in a hilly district with many beech-woods. The parish church has a fine Norman tower and a squint. The population is 227.” And quite close by on a hill there is a ruined windmill, and the nearest railway station is twelve miles off, and there is a farm called Scramble Through the Hedge....’

‘But you’ll love it. “A quiet village in the middle of the Chilterns, Great Mop is located twelve miles from Wickendon in a hilly area with plenty of beech trees. The parish church features a beautiful Norman tower and a squint. The population is 227.” And not far away on a hill, there’s a ruined windmill, the nearest train station is twelve miles away, and there’s a farm called Scramble Through the Hedge....’

Henry thought it time to interrupt. ‘I suppose you don’t expect us to believe all this.’

Henry felt it was time to speak up. “I guess you don't expect us to believe all of this.”

‘I know. It does seem almost too good to be true. But it is. I’ve read it in a guide-book, and seen it on a map.’

‘I know. It does seem almost too good to be true. But it is. I’ve read it in a guidebook and seen it on a map.’

‘Well, all I can say is....’

‘Well, all I can say is....’

‘Henry! Henry!’ said Caroline warningly. Henry did not say it. He threw the cushion out of his chair, glared at Laura, and turned away his head.{96}

‘Henry! Henry!’ Caroline said with a warning tone. Henry didn’t respond. He tossed the cushion off his chair, shot an angry look at Laura, and turned his head away.{96}

For some time Titus’s attempts at speech had hovered above the tumult, like one holy appeasing dove loosed after the other. The last dove was luckier. It settled on Laura.

For a while, Titus’s attempts to speak had floated above the chaos, like a single holy dove released after another. The last dove was luckier. It landed on Laura.

‘How nice of you to have a donkey. Will it be a grey donkey, like Madam?’

‘How nice of you to have a donkey. Will it be a gray donkey, like Madam?’

‘Do you remember dear Madam, then?’

‘Do you remember, dear Madam, then?’

‘Of course I remember dear Madam. I can remember everything that happened to me when I was four. I rode in one pannier, and you, Marion, rode in the other. And we went to have tea in Potts’s Dingle.’

‘Of course I remember, dear Madam. I can recall everything that happened when I was four. I rode in one basket, and you, Marion, rode in the other. And we went to have tea in Potts’s Dingle.’

‘With sponge cakes and raspberry jam, do you remember?’

‘Do you remember the sponge cakes and raspberry jam?’

‘Yes. And milk surging in a whisky bottle. Will you have thatch or slate, Aunt Lolly? Slate is very practical.’

'Yes. And milk bubbling up in a whiskey bottle. Will you choose thatch or slate, Aunt Lolly? Slate is much more practical.'

‘Thatch is more motherly. Anyhow, I shall have a pump.’

‘Thatch is more nurturing. Anyway, I’m getting a pump.’

‘Will it be an indoor or an outdoor pump? I ask, for I hope to pump on it quite often.’

“Will it be an indoor or outdoor pump? I ask because I plan to use it quite often.”

You will come to stay with me, won’t you, Titus?’

You will come to stay with me, right, Titus?’

Laura was a little cast-down. It did not look, just then, as if any one else wanted to come and stay with her at Great Mop. But Titus was as sympathetic as she had hoped. They{97} spent the rest of the evening telling each other how she would live. By half-past ten their conjectures had become so fantastic that the rest of the family thought the whole scheme was nothing more than one of Lolly’s odd jokes that nobody was ever amused by. Henry took heart. He rallied Laura, supposing that when she lived at Great Mop she would start hunting for catnip again, and become the village witch.

Laura was feeling a bit down. It didn't seem like anyone else wanted to come and stay with her at Great Mop right then. But Titus was as understanding as she had hoped. They{97} spent the rest of the evening discussing how she would live. By half-past ten, their ideas had become so outlandish that the rest of the family thought the whole plan was just one of Lolly’s quirky jokes that nobody found funny. Henry felt encouraged. He teased Laura, guessing that when she lived at Great Mop, she would start looking for catnip again and become the village witch.

‘How lovely!’ said Laura.

"How lovely!" Laura said.

Henry was satisfied. Obviously Laura could not be in earnest.

Henry was satisfied. Clearly, Laura couldn't be serious.

When the guests had gone, and Henry had bolted and chained the door, and put out the hall light, Laura hung about a little, thinking that he or Caroline might wish to ask her more. But they asked nothing and went upstairs to bed. Soon after, Laura followed them. As she passed their bedroom door she heard their voices within, the comfortable fragmentary talk of a husband and wife with complete confidence in each other and nothing particular to say.

When the guests left, and Henry locked and chained the door and turned off the hall light, Laura lingered for a bit, thinking that he or Caroline might want to ask her more. But they didn’t say anything and went upstairs to bed. Shortly after, Laura followed them. As she walked past their bedroom door, she heard their voices inside, the easy, casual conversation of a husband and wife who completely trust each other and have nothing specific to discuss.

Laura decided to tackle Henry on the morrow. She observed him during breakfast and saw with satisfaction that he seemed to be in a particularly benign mood. He had drunk three cups{98} of coffee, and said ‘Ah! poor fellow!’ when a wandering cornet-player began to play on the pavement opposite. Laura took heart from these good omens, and, breakfast being over, and her brother and the Times retired to the study, she followed them thither.

Laura decided to confront Henry the next day. She watched him during breakfast and felt satisfied to see that he seemed to be in a particularly good mood. He had drunk three cups{98} of coffee and said, "Ah! poor fellow!" when a wandering cornet-player started playing on the pavement across the street. Encouraged by these positive signs, and with breakfast finished, she followed her brother and the Times to the study.

‘Henry,’ she said. ‘I have come for a talk with you.’

‘Henry,’ she said. ‘I came to talk to you.’

Henry looked up. ‘Talk away, Lolly,’ he said, and smiled at her.

Henry looked up. "Go ahead and talk, Lolly," he said, smiling at her.

‘A business talk,’ she continued.

"A business discussion," she continued.

Henry folded the Times and laid it aside. He also (if the expression may be allowed) folded and laid aside his smile.

Henry folded the Times and set it aside. He also (if that’s the right way to put it) folded and put away his smile.

‘Now, Lolly, what is it?’

"What's going on, Lolly?"

His voice was kind, but business-like. Laura took a deep breath, twisted the garnet ring round her little finger, and began.

His voice was warm yet professional. Laura took a deep breath, twisted the garnet ring around her pinky finger, and started.

‘It has just occurred to me, Henry, that I am forty-seven.’

‘It just hit me, Henry, that I'm forty-seven.’

She paused.

She took a break.

‘Go on!’ said Henry.

"Go for it!" said Henry.

‘And that both the girls are married. I don’t mean that that has just occurred to me too, but it’s part of it. You know, really I’m not much use to you now.’

‘And that both the girls are married. I don’t mean that it just occurred to me too, but it’s part of it. You know, honestly, I’m not much help to you now.’

‘My dear Lolly!’ remonstrated her brother.{99} ‘You are extremely useful. Besides, I have never considered our relationship in that light.’

‘My dear Lolly!’ her brother protested.{99} ‘You’re really helpful. Besides, I’ve never thought of our relationship that way.’

‘So I have been thinking. And I have decided that I should like to go and live at Great Mop. You know, that place I was talking about last night.’

‘So I’ve been thinking. And I’ve decided that I want to go live at Great Mop. You know, that place I was talking about last night.’

Henry was silent. His face was completely blank. Should she recall Great Mop to him by once more repeating the description out of the guide-book?

Henry was quiet. His expression was completely blank. Should she remind him of Great Mop by repeating the description from the guidebook again?

‘In the Chilterns,’ she murmured. ‘Pop. 227.’

‘In the Chilterns,’ she whispered. ‘Pop. 227.’

Henry’s silence was unnerving her.

Henry's silence was unsettling her.

‘Really, I think it would be a good plan. I should like to live alone in the country. And in my heart I think I have always meant to, one day. But one day is so like another, it’s almost impossible to throw salt on its tail. If I don’t go soon, I never shall. So if you don’t mind, I should like to start as soon as possible.’

‘Honestly, I think it would be a great idea. I would love to live alone in the countryside. Deep down, I think I’ve always wanted to do that someday. But every day feels the same, making it nearly impossible to seize the moment. If I don’t go soon, I probably never will. So, if you’re okay with it, I’d like to start as soon as possible.’

There was another long pause. She could not make out Henry at all. It was not like him to say nothing when he was annoyed. She had expected thunders and tramplings, and those she could have weathered. But thus becalmed under a lowering sky she was beginning to lose her head.{100}

There was another long pause. She couldn't figure out Henry at all. It wasn’t like him to stay quiet when he was upset. She had expected storms and outbursts, and she could have handled those. But stuck in this stillness beneath a dark sky, she was starting to lose her grip.{100}

At last he spoke.

Finally, he spoke.

‘I hardly know what to say.’

'I barely know what to say.'

‘I’m sorry if the idea annoys you, Henry.’

‘I’m sorry if the idea bothers you, Henry.’

‘I am not annoyed. I am grieved. Grieved and astonished. For twenty years you have lived under my roof. I have always thought—I may be wrong, but I have always thought—that you were happy here.’

‘I’m not annoyed. I’m hurt. Hurt and shocked. For twenty years, you’ve lived under my roof. I always believed—I might be mistaken, but I always believed—that you were happy here.’

‘Quite happy,’ said Laura.

"Pretty happy," said Laura.

‘Caroline and I have done all we could to make you so. The children—all the children—look on you as a second mother. We are all devoted to you. And now, without a word of warning, you propose to leave us and go and live at a place called Great Mop. Lolly! I must ask you to put this ridiculous idea out of your head.’

‘Caroline and I have done everything we could to make you feel that way. The kids—all the kids—see you as a second mom. We’re all dedicated to you. And now, without any warning, you suggest leaving us to live in a place called Great Mop. Seriously! I need you to forget this ridiculous idea.’

‘I never expected you to be so upset, Henry. Perhaps I should have told you more gradually. I should be sorry to hurt you.’

‘I never expected you to be so upset, Henry. Maybe I should have shared this with you more gently. I really don’t want to hurt you.’

‘You have hurt me, I admit,’ said he, firmly seizing on this advantage. ‘Still, let that pass. Say you won’t leave us, Lolly.’

"You've hurt me, I won't deny it," he said, taking advantage of the moment. "But let's put that aside. Just promise you won't leave us, Lolly."

‘I’m afraid I can’t quite do that.’

‘I’m afraid I can’t really do that.’

‘But Lolly, what you want is absurd.’

‘But Lolly, what you want is ridiculous.’

‘It’s only my own way, Henry.’

‘It’s just my own way, Henry.’

‘If you would like a change, take one by all{101} means. Go away for a fortnight. Go away for a month! Take a little trip abroad if you like. But come back to us at the end of it.’

‘If you want a change, go for it by all{101} means. Leave for two weeks. Leave for a month! Take a little trip overseas if you want. Just make sure to come back to us afterward.’

‘No, Henry. I love you all, but I feel I have lived here long enough.’

‘No, Henry. I love all of you, but I feel like I’ve been here long enough.’

‘But why? But why? What has come over you?’

‘But why? But why? What’s wrong with you?’

Laura shook her head.

Laura signaled disapproval.

‘Surely you must have some reasons.’

‘You must have some reasons, right?’

‘I have told you my reasons.’

‘I’ve shared my reasons with you.’

‘Lolly! I cannot allow this. You are my sister. I consider you my charge. I must ask you, once for all to drop this idea. It is not sensible. Or suitable.’

‘Lolly! I can’t let this happen. You’re my sister. I see you as my responsibility. I have to ask you, once and for all, to give up this idea. It’s not sensible or appropriate.’

‘I have reminded you that I am forty-seven. If I am not old enough now to know what is sensible and suitable, I never shall be.’

‘I have reminded you that I am forty-seven. If I’m not old enough to know what makes sense and what’s appropriate now, I never will be.’

‘Apparently not.’

"Guess not."

This was more like Henry’s old form. But though he had scored her off, it did not seem to have encouraged him as much as scoring off generally did. He began again, almost as a suppliant.

This was more like Henry’s old self. But even though he had put one over on her, it didn’t seem to uplift him as much as getting the upper hand usually did. He started again, almost like someone begging.

‘Be guided by me, Lolly. At least, take a few days to think it over.’

‘Please listen to me, Lolly. At the very least, give it a few days to think it over.’

‘No, Henry. I don’t feel inclined to; I’d much rather get it over now. Besides, if you{102} are going to disapprove as violently as this, the sooner I pack up and start the better.’

‘No, Henry. I don’t want to; I’d much rather just get it over with now. Besides, if you{102} are going to disapprove this strongly, the sooner I pack up and leave, the better.’

‘You are mad. You talk of packing up and starting when you have never even set eyes on the place.’

‘You’re crazy. You’re talking about packing up and leaving when you’ve never even seen the place.’

‘I was thinking of going there to-day, to make arrangements.’

‘I was thinking of going there today to make arrangements.’

‘Well, then, you will do nothing of the kind. I’m sorry to seem harsh, Lolly. But you must put all this out of your mind.’

‘Well, then, you’re not going to do that at all. I’m sorry to sound tough, Lolly. But you need to forget all of this.’

‘Why?’

‘Why?’

‘It is impracticable.’

‘It’s not feasible.’

‘Nothing is impracticable for a single, middle-aged woman with an income of her own.’

‘Nothing is impossible for an independent, middle-aged woman with her own income.’

Henry paled slightly, and said: ‘Your income is no longer what it was.’

Henry paled a bit and said, "Your income isn't what it used to be."

‘Oh, taxes!’ said Laura contemptuously. ‘Never mind; even if it’s a little less, I can get along on it.’

‘Oh, taxes!’ Laura said with disdain. ‘Never mind; even if it’s a little less, I can manage.’

‘You know nothing of business, Lolly. I need not enter into explanations with you. It should be enough for me to say that for the last year your income has been practically non-existent.’

‘You don’t know anything about business, Lolly. I don’t need to explain anything to you. It should be enough for me to say that for the past year, your income has been almost non-existent.’

‘But I can still cash cheques.’

‘But I can still cash checks.’

‘I have placed a sum at the bank to your credit.{103}

‘I have deposited an amount in the bank for you.{103}

Laura had grown rather pale too. Her eyes shone.

Laura had also become quite pale. Her eyes sparkled.

‘I’m afraid you must enter into explanations with me, Henry. After all, it is my income, and I have a right to know what has happened to it.’

‘I’m afraid you need to explain things to me, Henry. After all, it’s my income, and I have a right to know what happened to it.’

‘Your capital has always been in my hands, Lolly, and I have administered it as I thought fit.’

‘Your money has always been in my hands, Lolly, and I have managed it as I saw fit.’

‘Go on,’ said Laura.

“Go ahead,” said Laura.

‘In 1920 I transferred the greater part of it to the Ethiopian Development Syndicate, a perfectly sound investment which will in time be as good as ever, if not better. Unfortunately, owing to this Government and all this socialistic talk the soundest investments have been badly hit. The Ethiopian Development Syndicate is one of them.’

‘In 1920, I moved most of it to the Ethiopian Development Syndicate, which was a solid investment that will eventually return to being just as good, if not better. Unfortunately, because of this government and all this socialist talk, the best investments have suffered greatly. The Ethiopian Development Syndicate is one of those.’

‘Go on, Henry. I have understood quite well so far. You have administered all my money into something that doesn’t pay. Now explain why you did this.’

‘Go on, Henry. I’ve understood everything so far. You’ve put all my money into something that doesn’t earn anything. Now explain why you did that.’

‘I had every reason for thinking that I should be able to sell out at a profit almost immediately. During November the shares had gone up from 5¾ to 8½. I bought in December at 8½. They went to 8¾ and since then have steadily sunk. They now stand at 4. Of course, my dear, you needn’t be alarmed. They will rise{104} again the moment we have a Conservative Government, and that, thank Heaven, must come soon. But you see at present it is out of the question for you to think of leaving us.’

‘I had every reason to believe that I could sell at a profit almost right away. In November, the shares went up from 5¾ to 8½. I bought in December at 8½. They went up to 8¾ and since then have continuously dropped. They’re currently at 4. Of course, my dear, you don’t need to worry. They will go up{104} again the moment we have a Conservative Government, and that, thank God, should happen soon. But as you can see, right now it’s not an option for you to think about leaving us.’

‘But don’t these Ethiopians have dividends?’

‘But don’t these Ethiopians get dividends?’

‘These,’ said Henry with dignity, ‘are not the kind of shares that pay dividends. They are—that is to say, they were, and of course will be again—a sound speculative investment. But at present they pay no dividends worth mentioning. Now, Lolly, don’t become agitated. I assure you that it is all perfectly all right. But you must give up this idea of the country. Anyhow, I’m sure you wouldn’t find it suit you. You are rheumatic——’

‘These,’ said Henry with dignity, ‘aren’t the type of shares that pay dividends. They are—that is to say, they were, and of course will be again—a solid speculative investment. But right now, they’re not paying any dividends worth talking about. Now, Lolly, don’t get upset. I promise you, everything is perfectly fine. But you need to let go of this idea about the country. Anyway, I’m sure it wouldn’t suit you. You have rheumatism——’

Laura tried to interpose.

Laura tried to intervene.

‘—or will be. All the Willoweses are rheumatic. Buckinghamshire is damp. Those poetical beech-woods make it so. You see, trees draw rain. It is one of the principles of afforestation. The trees—that is to say, the rain——’

‘—or will be. Everyone in the Willoweses family has arthritis. Buckinghamshire is humid. Those poetic beech forests contribute to that. You see, trees attract rain. It's one of the basic principles of planting forests. The trees—that is to say, the rain——’

Laura stamped her foot with impatience. ‘Have done with your trumpery red herrings!’ she cried.

Laura stamped her foot in frustration. "Enough with your pointless distractions!" she shouted.

She had never lost her temper like this before. It was a glorious sensation.{105}

She had never lost her temper like this before. It was an amazing feeling.{105}

‘Henry!’ She could feel her voice crackle round his ears. ‘You say you bought those shares at eight and something, and that they are now four. So if you sell out now you will get rather less than half what you gave for them.’

‘Henry!’ She could feel her voice crackle around his ears. ‘You say you bought those shares at eight something, and now they’re at four. So if you sell now, you’ll get less than half of what you paid for them.’

‘Yes,’ said Henry. Surely if Lolly were business woman enough to grasp that so clearly, she would in time see reason on other matters.

‘Yes,’ said Henry. Surely if Lolly was savvy enough to understand that so clearly, she would eventually come around on other issues.

‘Very well. You will sell them immediately——’

‘Alright. You will sell them right away——’

‘Lolly!’

‘Candy!’

‘—and reinvest the money in something quite unspeculative and unsound, like War Loan, that will pay a proper dividend. I shall still have enough to manage on. I shan’t be as comfortable as I thought I should be. I shan’t be able to afford the little house that I hoped for, nor the donkey. But I shan’t mind much. It will matter very little to me when I’m there.’

‘—and reinvest the money in something safe and stable, like War Loan, that will give a decent return. I’ll still have enough to get by. I won’t be as comfortable as I expected. I won’t be able to buy the little house I wanted, or the donkey. But I won’t mind much. It won’t matter too much to me when I’m there.’

She stopped. She had forgotten Henry, and the unpleasant things she meant to say to him. She had come to the edge of the wood, and felt its cool breath in her face. It did not matter about the donkey, nor the house, nor the darkening orchard even. If she were not to pick fruit from her own trees, there were common herbs and berries in plenty for her,{106} growing wherever she chose to wander. It is best as one grows older to strip oneself of possessions, to shed oneself downward like a tree, to be almost wholly earth before one dies.

She paused. She had forgotten about Henry and the uncomfortable things she wanted to say to him. She had reached the edge of the woods and felt its cool breeze on her face. It didn’t matter about the donkey, the house, or even the darkening orchard. If she couldn’t pick fruit from her own trees, there were plenty of wild herbs and berries for her, {106} growing wherever she decided to roam. As one gets older, it's better to let go of possessions, to shed oneself like a tree, becoming almost entirely part of the earth before dying.

As she left the room she turned and looked at Henry. Such was her mood, she could have blessed him solemnly, as before an eternal departure. But he was sitting with his back to her, and did not look round. When she had gone he took out his handkerchief and wiped his forehead.

As she walked out of the room, she turned to look at Henry. In that moment, she felt like she could have solemnly blessed him, as if saying goodbye forever. But he was sitting with his back to her and didn’t turn around. Once she left, he pulled out his handkerchief and wiped his forehead.

Ten days later Laura arrived at Great Mop. After the interview with Henry she encountered no more opposition. Caroline knew better than to persist against an obstinacy which had worsted her husband, and the other members of the family, their surprise being evaporated, were indifferent. Titus was a little taken aback when he found that his aunt’s romantic proposals were seriously intended. He for his part was going to Corsica. ‘A banal mountainous spot,’ he said politely, ‘compared with Buckinghamshire.’

Ten days later, Laura arrived at Great Mop. After her interview with Henry, she faced no more resistance. Caroline knew better than to push against a stubbornness that had defeated her husband, and the other family members, having gotten over their surprise, were indifferent. Titus was a bit surprised when he realized that his aunt's romantic ideas were serious. He, on his part, was heading to Corsica. "A pretty ordinary mountainous place," he said politely, "compared to Buckinghamshire."

The day of Laura’s arrival was wet and blusterous. She drove in a car from Wickendon. The car lurched and rattled, and the wind slapped the rain against the windows; Laura could scarcely see the rising undulations of the{107} landscape. When the car drew up before her new home, she stood for a moment looking up the village street, but the prospect was intercepted by the umbrella under which Mrs. Leak hastened to conduct her to the porch. So had it rained, and so had the wind blown, on the day when she had come on her visit of inspection and had taken rooms in Mrs. Leak’s cottage. So, Henry and Caroline and their friends had assured her, did it rain and blow all through the winter in the Chilterns. No words of theirs, they said, could describe how dismal and bleak it would be among those unsheltered hills. To Laura, sitting by the fire in her parlour, the sound of wind and rain was pleasant. ‘Weather like this,’ she thought, ‘would never be allowed in London.’

The day Laura arrived was wet and windy. She drove a car from Wickendon. The car jolted and shook, and the wind whipped the rain against the windows; Laura could barely see the rising hills of the{107} landscape. When the car stopped in front of her new home, she paused for a moment to look up the village street, but her view was blocked by the umbrella that Mrs. Leak hurriedly held to guide her to the porch. It had rained like this, and the wind had blown, on the day she came for her inspection visit and rented rooms in Mrs. Leak’s cottage. Henry, Caroline, and their friends had all told her that it rained and blew like this all winter in the Chilterns. They insisted that no words could capture how dreary and bleak it would be among those exposed hills. But to Laura, sitting by the fire in her living room, the sound of the wind and rain was soothing. ‘Weather like this,’ she thought, ‘would never be allowed in London.’

The unchastened gusts that banged against the side of the house and drove the smoke down the chimney, and the riotous gurgling of the rain in the gutters were congenial to her spirit. ‘Hoo! You daredevil,’ said the wind. ‘Have you come out to join us?’ Yet sitting there with no companionship except those exciting voices she was quiet and happy.

The unrestrained gusts that slammed against the side of the house and forced the smoke down the chimney, along with the wild gurgling of the rain in the gutters, matched her mood. ‘Hey! You daredevil,’ said the wind. ‘Have you come out to join us?’ Yet sitting there with no company except for those thrilling voices, she felt calm and content.

Mrs. Leak’s tea was strong Indian tea. The bread-and-butter was cut in thick slices, and under{108}neath it was a crocheted mat; there was plum jam in a heart-shaped glass dish, and a plate of rather heavy jam-puffs. It was not quite so good as the farmhouse teas she remembered in Somerset, but a great deal better than teas at Apsley Terrace.

Mrs. Leak's tea was strong Indian tea. The bread and butter were cut into thick slices, and underneath it was a crocheted mat; there was plum jam in a heart-shaped glass dish, and a plate of somewhat heavy jam puffs. It wasn't quite as good as the farmhouse teas she remembered from Somerset, but it was much better than the teas at Apsley Terrace.

Tea being done with, Laura took stock of her new domain. The parlour was furnished with a large mahogany table, four horsehair chairs and a horsehair sofa, an armchair, and a sideboard, rather gimcrack compared to the rest of the furniture. On the walls, which were painted green, hung a print of the Empress Josephine and two rather scowling classical landscapes with ruined temples, and volcanoes. On either side of the hearth were cupboards, and the fireplace was of a cottage pattern with hobs, and a small oven on one side. This fireplace had caught Laura’s fancy when she first looked at the rooms. She had stipulated with Mrs. Leak that, should she so wish, she might cook on it. There are some things—mushrooms, for instance, or toasted cheese—which can only be satisfactorily cooked by the eater. Mrs. Leak had made no difficulties. She was an oldish woman, sparing of her words and moderate in her demands. Her husband worked{109} at the sawmill. They were childless. She had never let lodgings before, but till last year an aunt with means of her own had occupied the parlour and bedroom which were now Laura’s.

After tea, Laura assessed her new space. The parlor was decorated with a large mahogany table, four horsehair chairs, a horsehair sofa, an armchair, and a somewhat shabby sideboard compared to the other furniture. The walls were painted green and adorned with a print of Empress Josephine and two rather grim classical landscapes featuring ruined temples and volcanoes. On either side of the fireplace were cupboards, and the fireplace had a cottage-style design with cooking hobs and a small oven on one side. Laura had been drawn to this fireplace when she first viewed the rooms. She had arranged with Mrs. Leak that she could cook on it if she wanted to. Some foods—like mushrooms or toasted cheese—are best cooked by the person who will eat them. Mrs. Leak didn't object. She was an older woman, careful with her words and reasonable in her expectations. Her husband worked{109} at the sawmill. They had no children. She had never rented out a room before, but until last year, an aunt with her own means had lived in the parlor and bedroom that were now Laura's.

It did not take Laura very long to arrange her belongings, for she had brought little. Soon after supper, which consisted of rabbit, bread and cheese, and table beer, she went upstairs to bed. Moving about her small cold bedroom she suddenly noticed that the wind had fallen, and that it was no longer raining. She pushed aside a corner of the blind and opened the window. The night air was cold and sweet, and the full moon shone high overhead. The sky was cloudless, lovely, and serene; a few stars glistened there like drops of water about to fall. For the first time she was looking at the intricate landscape of rounded hills and scooped valleys which she had chosen for learning by heart.

It didn't take Laura long to organize her things because she had brought so little. Shortly after dinner, which included rabbit, bread and cheese, and some table

Dark and compact, the beech-woods lay upon the hills. Alighting as noiselessly as an owl, a white cat sprang up on to the garden fence. It glanced from side to side, ran for a yard or two along the top of the fence and jumped off again, going secretly on its way. Laura sighed for{110} happiness. She had no thoughts; her mind was swept as clean and empty as the heavens. For a long time she continued to lean out of the window, forgetting where she was and how she had come there, so unearthly was her contentment.

Dark and dense, the beech trees covered the hills. Jumping as silently as an owl, a white cat climbed onto the garden fence. It looked from side to side, ran a short distance along the top of the fence, and then hopped down, continuing on its way quietly. Laura sighed for{110} happiness. She felt empty; her mind was as clear and blank as the sky. For a long time, she kept leaning out of the window, forgetting where she was and how she got there, so peaceful was her happiness.

Nevertheless her first days at Great Mop gave her little real pleasure. She wrecked them by her excitement. Every morning immediately after breakfast she set out to explore the country. She believed that by eating a large breakfast she could do without lunch. The days were short, and she wanted to make the most of them, and making the most of the days and going back for lunch did not seem to her to be compatible. Unfortunately, she was not used to making large breakfasts, so her enthusiasm was qualified by indigestion until about four P.M., when both enthusiasm and indigestion yielded to a faintish feeling. Then she turned back, generally by road, since it was growing too dark to find out footpaths, and arrived home with a limp between six and seven. She knew in her heart that she was not really enjoying this sort of thing, but the habit of useless activity was too strong to be snapped by change of scene. And in the evening, as she looked at the map and marked where she had been with little bleeding foot{111}steps of red ink, she was enchanted afresh by the names and the bridle-paths, and, forgetting the blistered heel and the dissatisfaction of that day’s walk, planned a new walk for the morrow.

Nevertheless, her first days at Great Mop brought her little real joy. She ruined them with her excitement. Every morning, right after breakfast, she set out to explore the area. She thought that by having a big breakfast, she could skip lunch. The days were short, and she wanted to make the most of them, and making the most of the days while going back for lunch didn’t seem compatible to her. Unfortunately, she wasn’t used to large breakfasts, so her enthusiasm was tempered by indigestion until around four P.M., when both her excitement and the discomfort faded into a faint feeling. Then she headed back, usually by the road, since it was getting too dark to find the footpaths, and arrived home limping between six and seven. Deep down, she knew she wasn’t really enjoying this kind of experience, but the habit of pointless activity was too strong to be broken by a change of scenery. In the evening, as she looked at the map and marked where she had been with small red ink footprints, she felt enchanted again by the names and the bridle-paths, and, forgetting the blistered heel and the disappointment of that day’s walk, planned a new route for the next day.

Nearly a week had gone by before she righted herself. She had made an appointment with the sunset that she should see it from the top of a certain hill. The hill was steep, and the road turned and twisted about its sides. It was clear that the sunset would be at their meeting-place before she was, nor would it be likely to kick its heels and wait about for her. She looked at the sky and walked faster. The road took a new and unsuspected turn, concealed behind the clump of trees by which she had been measuring her progress up the hill. She was growing more and more flustered, and at this prick she lost her temper entirely. She was tired, she was miles from Great Mop, and she had made a fool of herself. An abrupt beam of light shot up from behind the hedge as though the sun in vanishing below the horizon had winked at her. ‘This sort of thing,’ she said aloud, ‘has got to be put a stop to.’ She sat down in the extremely comfortable ditch to think.

Nearly a week had passed before she pulled herself together. She had made plans to watch the sunset from the top of a particular hill. The hill was steep, and the road twisted and turned around its sides. It was obvious that the sunset would reach their meeting point before she did, and it wasn’t likely to just hang around and wait for her. She glanced at the sky and quickened her pace. The road took an unexpected turn, hidden behind the cluster of trees she had been using to track her progress up the hill. She was getting more and more flustered, and at that moment, she completely lost her temper. She was tired, she was miles away from Great Mop, and she felt embarrassed. A sudden beam of light burst up from behind the hedge as if the sun, disappearing below the horizon, had winked at her. “This kind of thing,” she said aloud, “has to be put to an end.” She sat down in the surprisingly comfortable ditch to think.

The shades that had dogged her steps up the{112} hill closed in upon her as she sat in the ditch, but when she took out her map there was enough light to enable her to see where the nearest inn lay. It was close at hand; when she got there she could just read its name on the sign. Its name was The Reason Why. Entering The Reason Why, she ordered tea and a conveyance to drive her back to Great Mop. When she left the inn it was a brilliant night of stars. Outside stood a wagonette drawn by a large white horse. Piled on the seat of the wagonette were a number of waterproof rugs with finger-rings on them, and these she wrapped round her with elaborate care.

The shadows that had followed her up the{112} hill surrounded her as she sat in the ditch, but when she pulled out her map, there was enough light for her to see where the nearest inn was located. It was nearby; when she arrived, she could barely make out its name on the sign. It was called The Reason Why. After entering The Reason Why, she ordered tea and arranged for a ride back to Great Mop. When she left the inn, the night was filled with bright stars. Outside, there was a wagonette pulled by a large white horse. On the seat of the wagonette were several waterproof blankets with finger-holes, and she carefully wrapped them around herself.

The drive back to Great Mop was more filled with glory than anything she had ever experienced. The wagonette creaked over bare hill-tops and plunged downwards into the chequered darknesses of unknown winter woods. All the stars shook their glittering spears overhead. Turning this way and that to look at them, the frost pinched her cheeks.

The drive back to Great Mop was more glorious than anything she had ever experienced. The wagon creaked over bare hilltops and plunged down into the dark, patterned woods of winter. All the stars shimmered like spears above her. As she turned this way and that to admire them, the cold pinched her cheeks.

That evening she asked Mrs. Leak if she would lend her some books. From Mrs. Leak’s library she chose Mehalah, by the Rev. Sabine Baring-Gould, and an anonymous work of information called Enquire Within Upon Every{113}thing. The next morning was fine and sunny. She spent it by the parlour fire, reading. When she read bits of Mehalah she thought how romantic it would be to live in the Essex Marshes. From Enquire Within Upon Everything she learned how gentlemen’s hats if plunged in a bath of logwood will come out with a dash of respectability, and that ruins are best constructed of cork. During the afternoon she learned other valuable facts like these, and fell asleep. On the following morning she fell asleep again, in a beech-wood, curled up in a heap of dead leaves. After that she had no more trouble. Life becomes simple if one does nothing about it. Laura did nothing about anything for days and days till Mrs. Leak said: ‘We shall soon be having Christmas, miss.’

That evening, she asked Mrs. Leak if she could borrow some books. From Mrs. Leak’s library, she picked Mehalah by Rev. Sabine Baring-Gould and an anonymous book called Enquire Within Upon Everything. The next morning was beautiful and sunny. She spent it by the parlor fire, reading. When she read parts of Mehalah, she thought about how romantic it would be to live in the Essex Marshes. From Enquire Within Upon Everything, she found out that if you soak gentlemen's hats in a bath of logwood, they come out looking a bit more respectable, and that ruins are best built with cork. Throughout the afternoon, she picked up other useful bits of information like these and ended up falling asleep. The next morning, she dozed off again in a beech forest, curled up in a pile of dead leaves. After that, she had no more worries. Life becomes straightforward when you don’t try to change anything. Laura did nothing about anything for days and days until Mrs. Leak said, “We’ll soon be having Christmas, miss.”

Christmas! So it had caught them all again. By now the provident Caroline herself was suffering the eleventh hour in Oxford Street. But here even Christmas was made easy.

Christmas! It had caught them all again. By now, the resourceful Caroline was dealing with the last-minute rush on Oxford Street. But here, even Christmas was made simple.

Laura spent a happy afternoon choosing presents at the village shop. For Henry she bought a bottle of ginger wine, a pair of leather gaiters, and some highly recommended tincture of sassafras for his winter cough. For Caroline she bought an extensive parcel—all the shop{114} had, in fact—of variously coloured rug-wools, and a pound’s worth of assorted stamps. For Sibyl she bought some tinned fruits, some sugar-biscuits, and a pink knitted bed-jacket. For Fancy and Marion respectively she bought a Swanee flute and a box with Ely Cathedral on the lid, containing string, which Mrs. Trumpet was very glad to see the last of, as it had been forced upon her by a traveller, and had not hit the taste of the village. To her great-nephew and great-nieces she sent postal orders for one guinea, and pink gauze stockings filled with tin toys. These she knew would please, for she had always wanted one herself. For Dunlop she bought a useful button-hook. Acquaintances and minor relations were greeted with picture postcards, either photographs of the local War Memorial Hall and Institute, or a coloured view of some sweet-peas with the motto: ‘Kind Thoughts from Great Mop.’ A postcard of the latter kind was also enclosed with each of the presents.

Laura spent a happy afternoon picking out gifts at the village shop. For Henry, she got a bottle of ginger wine, a pair of leather gaiters, and some highly recommended sassafras tincture for his winter cough. For Caroline, she bought a large parcel—all the shop{114} had, in fact—filled with various colored rug wools and a pound's worth of assorted stamps. For Sibyl, she picked up some canned fruits, sugar biscuits, and a pink knitted bed jacket. For Fancy and Marion, she bought a Swanee flute and a box featuring Ely Cathedral on the lid, containing string, which Mrs. Trumpet was very glad to part with, as it had been thrust upon her by a traveler and didn't suit the village's taste. For her great-nephew and great-nieces, she sent postal orders for one guinea and pink gauze stockings filled with tin toys. She knew they would love them, as she had always wanted one herself. For Dunlop, she chose a practical button hook. Acquaintances and distant relatives received picture postcards, either photos of the local War Memorial Hall and Institute or a colorful view of some sweet peas with the motto: "Kind Thoughts from Great Mop." A postcard of the latter type was also included with each gift.

Titus was rather more difficult to suit. But by good luck she noticed two heavy glass jars such as old-fashioned druggists use. These were not amongst Mrs. Trumpet’s wares—she kept linen buttons in the one and horn buttons in{115} the other; but she was anxious to oblige such a magnificent customer and quite ready to sell her anything that she wanted. She was about to empty out the buttons when Laura stopped her. ‘You must keep some for your customers, Mrs. Trumpet. They may want to put them in their Christmas puddings.’ Laura was losing her head a little with the excitement. ‘But I should like to send about three dozen of each sort, if you can spare them. Buttons are always useful.’

Titus was a bit harder to please. But luckily, she spotted two heavy glass jars like the ones old-fashioned pharmacists use. These weren't part of Mrs. Trumpet's inventory—she had linen buttons in one and horn buttons in{115} the other; however, she was eager to accommodate such a distinguished customer and willing to sell her anything she wanted. Just as she was about to empty the jars, Laura interrupted her. ‘You should save some for your other customers, Mrs. Trumpet. They might want to use them in their Christmas puddings.’ Laura was getting a bit carried away with excitement. ‘But I’d like to buy about three dozen of each kind, if you can spare them. Buttons are always handy.’

‘Yes, miss. Shall I put in some linen thread too?’

‘Yes, miss. Should I include some linen thread as well?’

Mrs. Trumpet was a stout, obliging woman. She promised to do up all the parcels in thick brown paper and send them off three days before Christmas. As Laura stepped out of the shop in triumph, she exclaimed: ‘Well, that’s done it!’

Mrs. Trumpet was a heavyset, helpful woman. She promised to wrap all the packages in thick brown paper and send them out three days before Christmas. As Laura left the shop feeling victorious, she exclaimed, "Well, that’s done it!"

For the life of her she could not have said in what sense the words were intended. She was divided between admiration for her useful and well-chosen gifts and delight in affronting a kind of good taste which she believed to be merely self-esteem.

For the life of her, she couldn't figure out what the words really meant. She felt torn between admiring her practical and well-chosen gifts and taking pleasure in challenging a kind of good taste that she thought was just self-importance.

Although she had chosen presents with such care for her relations, Laura was surprised when{116} counter presents arrived from them. She had not thought of them as remembering her. Their presents were all of a warm nature; they insisted upon that bleakness and draughtiness which their senders had foretold. When Caroline wrote to thank Laura, she said:

Although she had picked gifts so thoughtfully for her family, Laura was surprised when{116} gifts from them arrived. She hadn’t expected them to remember her. Their gifts were all cozy and reflected the cold and drafty conditions that the senders had described. When Caroline wrote to thank Laura, she said:

‘I have started to make you a nice warm coverlet out of those pretty wools you sent. I think it will look very cheerful and variegated. I often feel quite worried to think of you upon those wind-swept hills. And from all I hear you have a great many woods round you, and I’m afraid all the decaying leaves must make the place damp.’

‘I’ve started making you a cozy coverlet out of those pretty wools you sent. I think it will look really cheerful and colorful. I often feel quite concerned thinking about you on those windy hills. From everything I hear, you have a lot of woods around you, and I’m worried that all the rotting leaves must make the place damp.’

Heaping coals of fire was a religious occupation. Laura rather admired Caroline for the neat turn of the wrist with which she heaped these.

Heaping coals of fire was a spiritual task. Laura admired Caroline for the precise flick of the wrist with which she piled them up.

In spite of the general determination of her family that she should feel the cold Laura lived at Great Mop very comfortably. Mrs. Leak was an excellent cook; she attended to her lodger civilly and kindly enough, made no comments, and showed no curiosity. At times Laura felt as though she had exchanged one Caroline for another. Mrs. Leak was not, apparently, a religious woman. There were no{117} texts on her walls, and when Laura asked for the loan of a Bible Mrs. Leak took a little time to produce it, and blew on the cover before she handed it over. But like Caroline, she gave the impression that her kingdom was not of this world. Laura liked her, and would have been glad to be upon less distant terms with her, but she did not find it easy to break through Mrs. Leak’s reserve. She tried this subject and that, but Mrs. Leak did not begin to thaw until Laura said something about black-currant tea. It seemed that Mrs. Leak shared Laura’s liking for distillations. That evening she remarked that the table-beer was of her own brewing, and lingered a while with the folded cloth in her hand to explain the recipe. After that Laura was given every evening a glass of home-made wine: dandelion, cowslip, elderberry, ashkey, or mangold. By her appreciation and her inquiries she entrapped Mrs. Leak into pausing longer and longer before she carried away the supper-tray. Before January was out it had become an established thing that after placing the bedroom candlestick on the cleared table Mrs. Leak would sit down and talk for half an hour or so.

Despite her family's insistence that she should feel the cold, Laura lived very comfortably at Great Mop. Mrs. Leak was a fantastic cook; she treated her lodger politely and kindly, made no comments, and showed no curiosity. At times, Laura felt as if she had swapped one Caroline for another. Mrs. Leak didn't seem to be a religious woman. There were no{117} texts on her walls, and when Laura asked to borrow a Bible, Mrs. Leak took a bit of time to find it and blew on the cover before handing it over. But like Caroline, she gave off the vibe that her kingdom wasn't of this world. Laura liked her and would have been happy to be closer to her, but she found it hard to break through Mrs. Leak's reserve. She tried discussing different subjects, but Mrs. Leak only began to open up when Laura mentioned blackcurrant tea. It turned out that Mrs. Leak shared Laura's passion for homemade drinks. That evening, she mentioned that the table beer was her own brew and lingered with the folded cloth in her hand to explain the recipe. After that, Laura was given a glass of homemade wine every evening: dandelion, cowslip, elderberry, ashkey, or mangold. Through her appreciation and curiosity, Laura managed to entice Mrs. Leak into staying longer and longer before she took away the supper tray. By the end of January, it had become a regular thing for Mrs. Leak to sit down and chat for about half an hour after placing the bedroom candlestick on the cleared table.

There was an indoor pleasantness about these{118} times. Through the wall came the sound of Mr. Leak snoring in the kitchen. The two women sat by the fire, tilting their glasses and drinking in small peaceful sips. The lamplight shone upon the tidy room and the polished table, lighting topaz in the dandelion wine, spilling pools of crimson through the flanks of the bottle of plum gin. It shone on the contented drinkers, and threw their large, close-at-hand shadows upon the wall. When Mrs. Leak smoothed her apron the shadow solemnified the gesture as though she were moulding an universe. Laura’s nose and chin were defined as sharply as the peaks on a holly leaf.

There was a cozy vibe about these{118} times. From the wall, you could hear Mr. Leak snoring in the kitchen. The two women sat by the fire, tilting their glasses and sipping peacefully. The lamplight illuminated the neat room and the polished table, reflecting topaz in the dandelion wine and pooling crimson through the bottle of plum gin. It highlighted the relaxed drinkers and cast their large, close shadows on the wall. When Mrs. Leak smoothed her apron, the shadow made the gesture look serious, as if she were shaping a universe. Laura’s nose and chin were defined as sharply as the points on a holly leaf.

Mrs. Leak did most of the talking. She talked well. She knew a great deal about everybody, and she was not content to quit a character until she had brought it to life for her listener.

Mrs. Leak did most of the talking. She spoke eloquently. She knew a lot about everyone, and she wasn’t satisfied until she had brought a character to life for her listener.

Mrs. Leak’s favourite subject was the Misses Larpent, Miss Minnie and Miss Jane. Miss Minnie was seventy-three, Miss Jane four years younger. Neither of them had known a day’s illness, nor any bodily infirmity, nor any relenting of their faculties. They would live for many years yet, if only to thwart their debauched middle-aged nephew, the heir to the estate.{119} Perhaps Miss Willowes had seen Lazzard Court on one of her walks? Yes, Laura had seen it, looking down from a hill-top—the park where sheep were penned among the grouped chestnut trees, the long white house with its expressionless façade—and had heard the stable-clock striking a deserted noon.

Mrs. Leak’s favorite topic was the Misses Larpent, Miss Minnie and Miss Jane. Miss Minnie was seventy-three, and Miss Jane was four years younger. Neither of them had ever experienced illness, any physical weakness, or a decline in their abilities. They would likely live for many more years, just to spite their wayward middle-aged nephew, who was the heir to the estate.{119} Maybe Miss Willowes had spotted Lazzard Court during one of her walks? Yes, Laura had seen it from a hilltop—the park where sheep were corralled among the clustered chestnut trees, the long white house with its blank façade—and had heard the clock in the stable striking a lonely noon.

The drive of Lazzard Court was five miles long from end to end. The house had fourteen principal bedrooms and a suite for Royalty. Mrs. Leak had been in service at Lazzard Court before her marriage; she knew the house inside and out, and described it to Laura till Laura felt that there was not one of the fourteen principal bedrooms which she did not know. The blue room, the yellow room, the Chinese room, the buff room, the balcony room, the needle-work room—she had slept in them all. Nay, she had awakened in the Royal bed, and pulling aside the red damask curtains had looked to the window to see the sun shining upon the tulip tree.

The drive of Lazzard Court was five miles long from end to end. The house had fourteen main bedrooms and a suite for royalty. Mrs. Leak had worked at Lazzard Court before she got married; she knew the place inside and out and described it to Laura until Laura felt like she knew each of the fourteen main bedrooms. The blue room, the yellow room, the Chinese room, the buff room, the balcony room, the needlework room—she had slept in all of them. In fact, she had woken up in the royal bed, and pulling aside the red damask curtains, she looked out the window to see the sun shining on the tulip tree.

No visitors slept in the stately bedrooms now, Lazzard Court was very quiet. People in the villages, said Mrs. Leak coldly, called Miss Minnie and Miss Jane two old screws. Mrs. Leak knew better. The old ladies spent lordily{120} upon their pleasures, and economised elsewhere that they might be able to do so. When they invited the Bishop to lunch and gave him stewed rabbit, blackberry pudding, and the best peaches and Madeira that his Lordship was likely to taste in his life, he fared no worse and no better than they fared themselves. Lazzard Court was famous for its racing-stable. To the upkeep of this all meaner luxuries were sacrificed—suitable bonnets, suitable subscriptions, bedroom fires, salmon and cucumber. But the stable-yard was like the forecourt of a temple. Every morning after breakfast Miss Jane would go round the stables and feel the horses’ legs, her gnarled old hand with its diamond rings slipping over the satin coat.

No visitors slept in the grand bedrooms anymore; Lazzard Court was very quiet. People in the villages, Mrs. Leak remarked coldly, called Miss Minnie and Miss Jane two old tightwads. But Mrs. Leak knew better. The old ladies spent lavishly{120} on their pleasures and cut back elsewhere to afford it. When they invited the Bishop to lunch and served him stewed rabbit, blackberry pudding, and the best peaches and Madeira he’d probably ever taste, he fared no worse and no better than they did themselves. Lazzard Court was well-known for its racing stable. To maintain this, all lesser luxuries were sacrificed—appropriate bonnets, suitable subscriptions, bedroom fires, salmon, and cucumber. But the stable yard felt like the forecourt of a temple. Every morning after breakfast, Miss Jane would walk around the stables and check the horses’ legs, her gnarled old hand, adorned with diamond rings, gliding over their silky coats.

Nothing escaped the sisters. The dairy, the laundry, the glass-houses, the poultry-yard, all were scrutinised. If any servant were found lacking he or she was called before Miss Minnie in the Justice Room. Mrs. Leak had never suffered such an interview, but she had seen others come away, white-faced, or weeping with apron thrown over head. Even the coffins were made on the estate. Each sister had chosen her elm and had watched it felled, with sharp words for the woodman when he aimed amiss.{121}

Nothing got past the sisters. The dairy, the laundry, the greenhouses, and the poultry yard were all examined closely. If any servant was found wanting, they were summoned to face Miss Minnie in the Justice Room. Mrs. Leak had never been through such an interrogation, but she had witnessed others come out pale and shaken, or crying with their aprons over their heads. Even the coffins were made on the estate. Each sister had picked out her elm and had watched it be chopped down, ready to scold the woodman if he missed the mark.{121}

When Mrs. Leak had given the last touches to Miss Minnie and Miss Jane, she made Laura’s flesh creep with the story of the doctor who took the new house up on the hill. He had been a famous doctor in London, but when he came to Great Mop no one would have anything to do with him. It was said he came as an interloper, watching for old Dr. Halley to die that he might step into his shoes. He grew more and more morose in his lonely house, soon the villagers said he drank; at last came the morning when he and his wife were found dead. He had shot her and then himself, so it appeared, and the verdict at the inquest was of Insanity. The chief witnesses were another London doctor, a great man for the brain, who had advised his friend to lead a peaceful country life; and the maidservant, who had heard ranting talk and cries late one evening, and ran out of the house in terror, banging the door behind her, to spend the night with her mother in the village.

When Mrs. Leak finished getting Miss Minnie and Miss Jane ready, she scared Laura with the story about the doctor who took the new house up on the hill. He had been a well-known doctor in London, but when he arrived in Great Mop, no one wanted anything to do with him. It was rumored that he came as an outsider, waiting for old Dr. Halley to die so he could take over his practice. He became increasingly gloomy in his isolated home, and soon the villagers said he was drinking; eventually, the morning came when he and his wife were found dead. It seemed he had shot her and then himself, and the inquest ruled it as Insanity. The main witnesses were another London doctor, a prominent expert on mental health, who had advised his friend to embrace a peaceful country life, and the maidservant, who had heard wild rants and screams late one night and ran out of the house in fear, slamming the door behind her to spend the night with her mother in the village.

After the doctor, Mrs. Leak called up Mr. Jones the clergyman. Laura had seen his white beard browsing among the tombs. He looked like a blessed goat tethered on hallowed grass. He lived alone with his books of Latin and Hebrew and his tame owl which he tried to{122} persuade to sleep in his bedroom. He had dismissed red-haired Emily, the sexton’s niece, for pouring hot water on a mouse. Emily had heated the water with the kindest intentions, but she was dismissed nevertheless. Mrs. Leak made much of this incident, for it was Mr. Jones’s only act of authority. In all other administrations he was guided by Mr. Gurdon, the clerk.

After the doctor, Mrs. Leak called Mr. Jones, the clergyman. Laura had seen his white beard wandering among the tombstones. He looked like a gentle goat tied to sacred ground. He lived alone with his Latin and Hebrew books and his pet owl, which he tried to{122} convince to sleep in his bedroom. He had let go of red-haired Emily, the sexton’s niece, for pouring hot water on a mouse. Emily had heated the water with the best intentions, but she was fired anyway. Mrs. Leak made a big deal out of this incident since it was Mr. Jones’s only moment of authority. In all other matters, he was guided by Mr. Gurdon, the clerk.

Mr. Gurdon’s beard was red and curly (Laura knew him by sight also). Fiery down covered his cheeks, his eyes were small and truculent, and he lived in a small surprised cottage near the church. Every morning he walked forth to the Rectory to issue his orders for the day—this old woman was to be visited with soup, that young one with wrath; and more manure should be ordered for the Rectory cabbages. For Mr. Gurdon was Mr. Jones’s gardener, as well as his clerk.

Mr. Gurdon’s beard was red and curly (Laura recognized him by sight, too). His cheeks were covered in fiery hair, his eyes were small and fierce, and he lived in a tiny, charming cottage near the church. Every morning, he walked over to the Rectory to give out his orders for the day—this old woman was to receive soup, that young woman was to be met with anger; and more manure should be ordered for the Rectory’s cabbages. Mr. Gurdon was Mr. Jones’s gardener, as well as his clerk.

Mr. Gurdon had even usurped the clergyman’s perquisite of quarrelling with the organist. Henry Perry was the organist. He had lost one leg and three fingers in a bus accident, so there was scarcely any other profession he could have taken up. And he had always been fond of playing tunes, for his mother, who was a superior widow, had a piano at Rose Cottage.{123}

Mr. Gurdon had even taken over the clergyman’s right to argue with the organist. Henry Perry was the organist. He had lost one leg and three fingers in a bus accident, so there wasn’t really any other job he could have chosen. He had always loved playing music, since his mother, who was a remarkable widow, had a piano at Rose Cottage.{123}

Mr. Gurdon said that Henry Perry encouraged the choir boys to laugh at him. After church he used to hide behind a yew tree to pounce out upon any choir boys who desecrated the graves by leaping over them. When he caught them he pinched them. Pinches are silent: they can be made use of in sacred places where smacking would be irreverent. One summer Mr. Gurdon told Mr. Jones to forbid the choir treat. Three days later some of the boys were playing with a tricycle. They allowed it to get out of control, and it began to run downhill. At the bottom of the hill was a sharp turn in the road, and Mr. Gurdon’s cottage. The tricycle came faster and faster and crashed through the fence into Mr. Gurdon, who was attending to his lettuces and had his back turned. The boys giggled and ran away. Their mothers did not take the affair so lightly. That evening Mr. Gurdon received a large seed-cake, two dozen fresh eggs, a packet of cigarettes, and other appeasing gifts. Next Sunday Mr. Jones in his kind tenor voice announced that a member of the congregation wished to return thanks for mercies lately received. Mr. Gurdon turned round in his place and glared at the choir boys.

Mr. Gurdon said that Henry Perry encouraged the choir boys to laugh at him. After church, he used to hide behind a yew tree to jump out at any choir boys who messed around by jumping over the graves. When he caught them, he pinched them. Pinches are silent; they can be used in sacred places where smacking would be disrespectful. One summer, Mr. Gurdon told Mr. Jones to stop the choir treat. Three days later, some of the boys were playing with a tricycle. They let it get out of control, and it started rolling downhill. At the bottom of the hill was a sharp turn in the road, right by Mr. Gurdon’s cottage. The tricycle picked up speed and crashed through the fence into Mr. Gurdon, who was tending to his lettuces with his back turned. The boys giggled and ran away. Their mothers didn't take the incident so lightly. That evening, Mr. Gurdon received a large seed cake, two dozen fresh eggs, a pack of cigarettes, and other conciliatory gifts. Next Sunday, Mr. Jones, in his kind tenor voice, announced that a member of the congregation wanted to express gratitude for recent mercies. Mr. Gurdon turned around in his seat and glared at the choir boys.

Much as he disliked Henry Perry, Mr.{124} Gurdon had disliked the doctor from London even more. The doctor had come upon him frightening an old woman in a field, and had called him a damned bully and a hypocrite. Mr. Gurdon had cursed him back, and swore to be even with him. The old woman bore her defender no better will. She talked in a surly way about her aunt, who was a gipsy and able to afflict people with lice by just looking at them.

Much as he disliked Henry Perry, Mr.{124} Gurdon disliked the doctor from London even more. The doctor had caught him scaring an old woman in a field and called him a damn bully and a hypocrite. Mr. Gurdon had cursed him back and vowed to get even. The old woman didn't appreciate her defender any more than he did. She spoke grumpily about her aunt, who was a gypsy and could infest people with lice just by looking at them.

Laura did not hear this story from Mrs. Leak. It was told her some time after by Mrs. Trumpet. Mrs. Trumpet hated Mr. Gurdon, though she was very civil to him when he came into the shop. Few people in the village liked Mr. Gurdon, but he commanded a great deal of politeness. Red and burly and to be feared, the clerk reminded Laura of a red bull belonging to the farmer. In one respect he was unlike the bull: Mr. Gurdon was a very respectable man.

Laura didn’t hear this story from Mrs. Leak. It was shared with her later by Mrs. Trumpet. Mrs. Trumpet couldn’t stand Mr. Gurdon, even though she was always polite to him when he came into the shop. Not many people in the village liked Mr. Gurdon, but he received a lot of courtesy. Big and stocky and somewhat intimidating, the clerk reminded Laura of a red bull belonging to the farmer. In one way, he was different from the bull: Mr. Gurdon was a very respectable man.

Mrs. Leak also told Laura about Mr. and Mrs. Ward, who kept the Lamb and Flag; about Miss Carloe the dressmaker, who fed a pet hedgehog on bread-and-milk; and about fat Mrs. Garland, who let lodgings in the summer and was always so down at heel and jolly.{125}

Mrs. Leak also told Laura about Mr. and Mrs. Ward, who ran the Lamb and Flag; about Miss Carloe the dressmaker, who fed a pet hedgehog bread and milk; and about plump Mrs. Garland, who rented out rooms in the summer and was always cheerful and a bit shabby.{125}

Although she knew so much about her neighbours, Mrs. Leak was not a sociable woman. The Misses Larpent, the dead doctor, Mr. Jones, Mr. Gurdon, and Miss Carloe—she called them up and caused them to pass before Laura, but in a dispassionate way, rather like the Witch of Endor calling up old Samuel. Nor was Great Mop a sociable village, at any rate compared with the villages which Laura had known as a girl. Never had she seen so little dropping in, leaning over fences, dawdling at the shop or in the churchyard. Little laughter came from the taproom of the Lamb and Flag. Once or twice she glanced in at the window as she passed by and saw the men within sitting silent and abstracted with their mugs before them. Even the bell-ringers when they had finished their practice broke up with scant adieus, and went silently on their way. She had never met country people like these before. Nor had she ever known a village that kept such late hours. Lights were burning in the cottages till one and two in the morning, and she had been awakened at later hours than those by the sound of passing voices. She could hear quite distinctly, for her window was open and faced upon the village street. She heard Miss Carloe{126} say complainingly: ‘It’s all very well for you young ones. But my old bones ache so, it’s a wonder how I get home!’ Then she heard the voice of red-haired Emily say: ‘No bones so nimble as old bones, Miss Carloe, when it comes to—’ and then a voice unknown to Laura said ‘Hush’; and she heard no more, for a cock crew. Another night, some time after this, she heard some one playing a mouth-organ. The music came from far off, it sounded almost as if it were being played out of doors. She lit a candle and looked at her watch—it was half-past three. She got out of bed and listened at the window; it was a dark night, and the hills rose up like a screen. The noise of the mouth-organ came wavering and veering on the wind. A drunk man, perhaps? Yet what drunk man would play on so steadily? She lay awake for an hour or more, half puzzled, half lulled by the strange music, that never stopped, that never varied, that seemed to have become part of the air.

Although she knew a lot about her neighbors, Mrs. Leak was not a friendly person. The Misses Larpent, the deceased doctor, Mr. Jones, Mr. Gurdon, and Miss Carloe—she summoned them and made them pass by Laura, but in a detached way, almost like the Witch of Endor calling up old Samuel. Great Mop was not a friendly village either, at least compared to the villages Laura had known as a girl. She had never seen so little socializing, leaning over fences, hanging around shops, or lingering in the churchyard. There was hardly any laughter coming from the taproom of the Lamb and Flag. A couple of times, she glanced through the window as she walked by and saw the men inside sitting quietly, absorbed, with their mugs in front of them. Even the bell-ringers, after finishing their practice, left with little more than a nod and went silently on their way. She had never encountered country people like these before. And she had never known a village that stayed up so late. Lights were on in the cottages until one or two in the morning, and she had been woken later than that by the sounds of passing voices. She could hear quite clearly since her window was open and faced the village street. She heard Miss Carloe{126} complain, “It’s all very fine for you young ones. But my old bones ache so much, it’s a wonder I manage to get home!” Then she heard the voice of red-haired Emily say, “No bones are as quick as old bones, Miss Carloe, when it comes to—” and then an unfamiliar voice told her to “Hush,” and she heard no more, as a rooster crowed. Another night, some time later, she heard someone playing a mouth organ. The music came from a distance, sounding almost like it was being played outside. She lit a candle and checked her watch—it was half-past three. She got out of bed and listened at the window; it was dark, and the hills loomed like a barrier. The sound of the mouth organ drifted and shifted on the wind. A drunk man, perhaps? Yet what kind of drunk would play so steadily? She lay awake for over an hour, half confused, half relaxed by the strange music that never stopped, never changed, seeming to become part of the atmosphere.

Next day she asked Mrs. Leak what this strange music could be. Mrs. Leak said that young Billy Thomas was distracted with toothache. He could not sleep, and played for hours nightly upon his mouth-organ to divert himself{127} from the pain. On Wednesday the tooth-drawer would come to Barleighs, and young Billy Thomas would be put out of his agony. Laura was sorry for the sufferer, but she admired the circumstances. The highest flights of her imagination had not risen to more than a benighted drunk. Young Billy Thomas had a finer invention than she.

The next day she asked Mrs. Leak what the strange music could be. Mrs. Leak said that young Billy Thomas was struggling with a toothache. He couldn't sleep and played on his mouth organ for hours each night to keep his mind off the pain{127}. On Wednesday, the dentist would come to Barleighs, and young Billy Thomas would finally be relieved of his suffering. Laura felt sorry for him, but she admired the situation. The highest flights of her imagination had never gone beyond a drunken fool. Young Billy Thomas had a more creative spirit than she did.

After a few months she left off speculating about the villagers. She admitted that there was something about them which she could not fathom, but she was content to remain outside the secret, whatever it was. She had not come to Great Mop to concern herself with the hearts of men. Let her stray up the valleys, and rest in the leafless woods that looked so warm with their core of fallen red leaves, and find out her own secret, if she had one; with autumn it might come back to question her. She wondered. She thought not. She felt that nothing could ever again disturb her peace. Wherever she strayed the hills folded themselves round her like the fingers of a hand.

After a few months, she stopped wondering about the villagers. She realized there was something about them that she couldn’t understand, but she was okay with staying outside that mystery, whatever it was. She hadn’t come to Great Mop to worry about other people’s feelings. She preferred to wander through the valleys, rest in the leafless woods that felt so cozy with their blanket of fallen red leaves, and discover her own secret if she had one; with autumn, it might come back to challenge her. She pondered this. She thought not. She felt that nothing could ever disturb her peace again. Wherever she roamed, the hills wrapped around her like the fingers of a hand.

About this time she did an odd thing. In her wanderings she had found a disused well. It was sunk at the side of a green lane, and grass and bushes had grown up around its low rim,{128} almost to conceal it; the wooden frame was broken and mouldered, ropes and pulleys had long ago been taken away, and the water was sunk far down, only distinguishable as an uncertain reflection of the sky. Here, one evening, she brought her guide-book and her map. Pushing aside the bushes she sat down upon the low rim of the well. It was a still, mild evening towards the end of February, the birds were singing, there was a smell of growth in the air, the light lingered in the fields as though it were glad to linger. Looking into the well she watched the reflected sky grow dimmer; and when she raised her eyes the gathering darkness of the landscape surprised her. The time had come. She took the guide-book and the map and threw them in.

Around this time, she did something unusual. While exploring, she discovered an old well. It was located beside a green path, and grass and bushes had grown up around its low edge,{128} nearly hiding it; the wooden frame was broken and rotting, ropes and pulleys had been removed long ago, and the water was deep down, barely visible as a vague reflection of the sky. One evening, she took her guidebook and map to this spot. She pushed aside the bushes and sat on the low edge of the well. It was a calm, mild evening toward the end of February, the birds were singing, there was a hint of growth in the air, and the light lingered in the fields as if it were happy to stay. As she looked into the well, she noticed the reflected sky gradually darkening; when she lifted her gaze, she was taken aback by the encroaching darkness of the landscape. The moment had arrived. She took the guidebook and map and tossed them in.

She heard the disturbed water sidling against the walls of the well. She scarcely knew what she had done, but she knew that she had done rightly, whether it was that she had sacrificed to the place, or had cast herself upon its mercies—content henceforth to know no more of it than did its own children.

She heard the disturbed water creeping against the walls of the well. She barely understood what she had done, but she was certain she had done the right thing, whether she had made an offering to the place or had surrendered herself to its kindness—content from that moment on to know no more about it than its own children did.

As she reached the village she saw a group of women standing by the milestone. They were silent and abstracted as usual. When she{129} greeted them they returned her greeting, but they said nothing among themselves. After she had gone by they turned as of one accord and began to walk up the field path towards the wood. They were going to gather fuel, she supposed. To-night their demeanour did not strike her as odd. She felt at one with them, an inhabitant like themselves, and she would gladly have gone with them up towards the wood. If they were different from other people, why shouldn’t they be? They saw little of the world. Great Mop stood by itself at the head of the valley, five miles from the main road, and cut off by the hills from the other villages. It had a name for being different from other places. The man who had driven Laura home from The Reason Why had said: ‘It’s not often that a wagonette is seen at Great Mop. It’s an out-of-the-way place, if ever there was one. There’s not such another village in Buckinghamshire for out-of-the-way-ness. Well may it be called Great Mop, for there’s never a Little Mop that I’ve heard of.’

As she arrived in the village, she noticed a group of women standing by the milestone. They were quiet and lost in thought, as usual. When she{129} greeted them, they acknowledged her but didn't say anything to each other. After she walked past, they all turned at once and started heading up the field path toward the woods. She figured they were going to gather firewood. Tonight, their behavior didn’t seem strange to her. She felt connected to them, like one of their own, and would have happily joined them on their way to the woods. If they were different from other people, why shouldn’t they be? They didn’t get out much. Great Mop stood alone at the top of the valley, five miles from the main road and surrounded by hills, isolating it from other villages. It was known for being unique. The man who had driven Laura home from The Reason Why had said, “It’s not often you see a wagonette at Great Mop. It’s quite off the beaten path, if you ask me. There’s no other village in Buckinghamshire quite as remote. It’s aptly named Great Mop, since I’ve never heard of a Little Mop.”

People so secluded as the inhabitants of Great Mop would naturally be rather silent, and keep themselves close. So Laura thought, and Mr. Saunter was of the same opinion.{130}

People as isolated as the residents of Great Mop would naturally be quite quiet and keep to themselves. Laura thought this, and Mr. Saunter agreed.{130}

Mr. Saunter’s words had weight, for he spoke seldom. He was a serious, brown young man, who after the war had refused to go back to his bank in Birmingham. He lived in a wooden hut which he had put up with his own hands, and kept a poultry-farm.

Mr. Saunter’s words carried a lot of weight because he rarely spoke. He was a serious, dark-haired young man who, after the war, chose not to return to his banking job in Birmingham. He lived in a wooden hut that he built with his own hands and ran a poultry farm.

Laura first met Mr. Saunter when she was out walking, early one darkish, wet, January morning. The lane was muddy; she picked her way, her eyes to the ground. She did not notice Mr. Saunter until she was quite close to him. He was standing bareheaded in the rain. His look was sad and gentle, it reflected the mood of the weather, and several dead white hens dangled from his hands. Laura exclaimed, softly, apologetically. This young man was so perfectly of a piece with his surroundings that she felt herself to be an intruder. She was about to turn back when his glance moved slowly towards her. ‘Badger,’ he said; and smiled in an explanatory fashion. Laura knew at once that he had been careless and had left the henhouse door unfastened. She took pains that no shade of blame should mix itself with her condolences. She did not even blame the badger. She knew that this was a moment for nothing but kind words, and not too many of them.{131}

Laura first met Mr. Saunter when she was out walking on a dark, rainy January morning. The path was muddy, and she focused on avoiding puddles. She didn’t notice Mr. Saunter until she was almost right next to him. He stood there without a hat in the rain, looking sad and gentle, which matched the gloomy weather, and several dead white hens were hanging from his hands. Laura softly and apologetically exclaimed. This young man blended so perfectly with his environment that she felt like an intruder. Just as she was about to turn back, his gaze slowly moved toward her. “Badger,” he said, smiling as if to explain. Laura instantly knew he had been careless and left the henhouse door unlatched. She made sure that no hint of blame entered her sympathy. She didn’t even blame the badger. She realized this was a moment for kind words, keeping them few.{131}

Mr. Saunter was grateful. He invited her to come and see his birds. Side by side they turned in silence through a field gate and walked into Mr. Saunter’s field. Bright birds were on the sodden grass. As he went by they hurried into their pens, expecting to be fed. ‘If you would care to come in,’ said Mr. Saunter, ‘I should like to make you a cup of tea.’

Mr. Saunter was thankful. He invited her to come and see his birds. Together they walked in silence through a field gate and entered Mr. Saunter’s field. Colorful birds were on the wet grass. As he approached, they quickly moved into their pens, anticipating some food. "If you'd like to come in," said Mr. Saunter, "I’d love to make you a cup of tea."

Mr. Saunter’s living-room was very untidy and homelike. A basket of stockings lay on the table. Laura wondered if she might offer to help Mr. Saunter with his mending. But after he had made the tea, he took up a stocking and began to darn it. He darned much better than she did.

Mr. Saunter's living room was pretty messy and cozy. There was a basket of stockings on the table. Laura thought about offering to help Mr. Saunter with his mending. But after he made the tea, he picked up a stocking and started to mend it. He mended a lot better than she did.

As she went home again she fell to wondering what animal Mr. Saunter resembled. But in the end she decided that he resembled no animal except man. Till now, Laura had rejected the saying that man is the noblest work of nature. Half an hour with Mr. Saunter showed her that the saying was true. So had Adam been the noblest work of nature, when he walked out among the beasts, sole overseer of the garden, intact, with all his ribs about him, his equilibrium as yet untroubled by Eve. She had misunderstood the saying merely because she had not{132} happened to meet a man before. Perhaps, like other noble works, man is rare. Perhaps there is only one of him at a time: first Adam; now Mr. Saunter. If that were the case, she was lucky to have met him. This also was the result of coming to Great Mop.

As she walked home again, she found herself wondering what animal Mr. Saunter resembled. But in the end, she decided that he resembled no animal except for a human. Until now, Laura had dismissed the saying that man is the noblest work of nature. Half an hour with Mr. Saunter showed her that the saying was true. Just as Adam had been the noblest work of nature when he walked among the animals, the sole caretaker of the garden, perfectly intact, with all his ribs in place and his balance undisturbed by Eve. She had misunderstood the saying simply because she hadn't{132} met a man before. Perhaps, like other noble creations, man is rare. Maybe there is only one at a time: first Adam; now Mr. Saunter. If that's the case, she felt fortunate to have met him. This, too, was a result of coming to Great Mop.

So much did Mr. Saunter remind Laura of Adam that he made her feel like Eve—for she was petitioned by an unladylike curiosity. She asked Mrs. Leak about him. Mrs. Leak could tell her nothing that was not already known to her, except that young Billy Thomas went up there every day on his bicycle to lend Mr. Saunter a hand. Laura would not stoop to question young Billy Thomas. She fought against her curiosity, and the spring came to her aid.

So much did Mr. Saunter remind Laura of Adam that it made her feel like Eve—overcome by an unladylike curiosity. She asked Mrs. Leak about him. Mrs. Leak couldn’t tell her anything she didn’t already know, except that young Billy Thomas rode his bike there every day to help Mr. Saunter. Laura wouldn’t lower herself to ask young Billy Thomas. She struggled against her curiosity, and spring came to her rescue.

This new year was changing her whole conception of spring. She had thought of it as a denial of winter, a green spear that thrust through a tyrant’s rusty armour. Now she saw it as something filial, gently unlacing the helm of the old warrior and comforting his rough cheek. In February came a spell of fine weather. She spent whole days sitting in the woods, where the wood-pigeons moaned for pleasure on the boughs. Sometimes two cock birds would tumble together in mid air, shrieking, and buffeting{133} with their wings, and then would fly back to the quivering boughs and nurse the air into peace again. All round her the sap was rising up. She laid her cheek against a tree and shut her eyes to listen. She expected to hear the tree drumming like a telegraph pole.

This new year was changing her entire view of spring. She had thought of it as a rejection of winter, a green spear breaking through a tyrant’s rusty armor. Now she saw it as something nurturing, gently loosening the helmet of the old warrior and comforting his rough cheek. In February, a stretch of nice weather arrived. She spent whole days sitting in the woods, where the wood-pigeons cooed joyfully on the branches. Sometimes, two male birds would tumble together in midair, screeching and flapping their wings, then they would return to the trembling branches and calm the air again. All around her, the sap was rising. She rested her cheek against a tree and closed her eyes to listen. She expected to hear the tree drumming like a telegraph pole.

It was so warm in the woods that she forgot that she sat there for shelter. But though the wind blew lightly, it blew from the east. In March the wind went round to the south-west. It brought rain. The bright, cold fields were dimmed and warm to walk in now. Like embers the wet beech-leaves smouldered in the woods.

It was so warm in the woods that she forgot she was sitting there for shelter. Even though the wind was blowing gently, it was coming from the east. In March, the wind shifted to the south-west, bringing rain. The bright, cold fields now felt dimmed and warm to walk in. The wet beech leaves smoldered like embers in the woods.

All one day the wind had risen, and late in the evening it called her out. She went up to the top of Cubbey Ridge, past the ruined windmill that clattered with its torn sails. When she had come to the top of the Ridge she stopped, with difficulty holding herself upright. She felt the wind swoop down close to the earth. The moon was out hunting overhead, her pack of black and white hounds ranged over the sky. Moon and wind and clouds hunted an invisible quarry. The wind routed through the woods. Laura from the hill-top heard the various surrounding woods cry out with different voices. The spent gusts left the beech-hangers throbbing{134} like sea caverns through which the wave had passed, the fir plantation seemed to chant some never-ending rune.

All day, the wind had picked up, and late in the evening, it beckoned her outside. She made her way to the top of Cubbey Ridge, passing by the old windmill that rattled with its tattered sails. When she reached the peak of the Ridge, she struggled to stay upright. She felt the wind swoop down close to the ground. The moon was out hunting above, with her pack of black and white hounds scattered across the sky. The moon, the wind, and the clouds were on the trail of an unseen target. The wind rustled through the woods. From the hilltop, Laura heard the various surrounding woods call out in different voices. The spent gusts left the beech hangers vibrating{134} like sea caverns through which the waves had passed, and the fir plantation seemed to chant some endless rune.

Listening to these voices, another voice came to her ear—the far-off pulsation of a goods train labouring up a steep cutting. It was scarcely audible, more perceptible as feeling than as sound, but by its regularity it dominated all the other voices. It seemed to come nearer and nearer, to inform her like the drumming of blood in her ears. She began to feel defenceless, exposed to the possibility of an overwhelming terror. She listened intently, trying not to think. Though the noise came from an ordinary goods train, no amount of reasoning could stave off this terror. She must yield herself, yield up all her attention, if she would escape. It was a wicked sound. It expressed something eternally outcast and reprobated by man, stealthily trafficking by night, unseen in the dark clefts of the hills. Loud, separate, and abrupt, each pant of the engine trampled down her wits. The wind and the moon and the ranging cloud pack were not the only hunters abroad that night: something else was hunting among the hills, hunting slowly, deliberately, sure of its quarry.

Listening to these voices, another sound caught her attention—the distant rumbling of a freight train struggling up a steep incline. It was barely audible, more felt than heard, but its regular rhythm overshadowed all the other sounds. It seemed to get closer and closer, resonating like the pounding of her heart in her ears. She started to feel vulnerable, exposed to the threat of overwhelming fear. She listened closely, trying not to think. Even though the noise came from a typical freight train, no amount of reasoning could chase away this fear. She had to surrender, give up all her focus, if she wanted to escape. It was an ominous sound. It conveyed something eternally rejected and condemned by humanity, stealthily moving by night, hidden in the dark gaps of the hills. Loud, distinct, and jarring, each chug of the engine overwhelmed her senses. The wind, the moon, and the shifting clouds weren’t the only predators out that night: something else was hunting among the hills, moving slowly, deliberately, confident of its target.

Suddenly she remembered the goods yard at{135} Paddington, and all her thoughts slid together again like a pack of hounds that have picked up the scent. They streamed faster and faster; she clenched her hands and prayed as when a child she had prayed in the hunting-field.

Suddenly she remembered the goods yard at{135} Paddington, and all her thoughts came together again like a pack of hounds that had caught the scent. They raced faster and faster; she clenched her hands and prayed as she had when she was a child in the hunting field.

In the goods yard at Paddington she had almost pounced on the clue, the clue to the secret country of her mind. The country was desolate and half-lit, and she walked there alone, mistress of it, and mistress, too, of the terror that roamed over the blank fields and haunted round her. Here was country just so desolate and half-lit. She was alone, just as in her dreams, and the terror had come to keep her company, and crouched by her side, half in fawning, half in readiness to pounce. All this because of a goods train that laboured up a cutting. What was this cabal of darkness, suborning her own imagination to plot against her? What were these iron hunters doing near mournful, ever-weeping Paddington?

In the freight yard at Paddington, she almost seized the clue—the key to the hidden world within her mind. This world was bleak and dimly lit, and she wandered there alone, in control of it, and also in control of the fear that roamed the empty fields and lurked around her. This was a place so desolate and dim. She was alone, just like in her dreams, and the fear had come to keep her company, crouching beside her, half submissive and half ready to attack. All of this because of a freight train struggling up a steep slope. What was this dark conspiracy, manipulating her own imagination to turn against her? What were these iron hunters doing near the sorrowful, eternally crying Paddington?

‘Now! Now!’ said the moon, and plunged towards her through the clouds.

‘Now! Now!’ said the moon, and dove toward her through the clouds.

Baffled, she stared back at the moon and shook her head. For a moment it had seemed as though the clue were found, but it had slid through her hands again. The train had reached{136} the top of the cutting, with a shriek of delight it began to pour itself downhill. She smiled. It amused her to suppose it loaded with cabbages. Arrived at Paddington, the cabbages would be diverted to Covent Garden. But inevitably, and with all the augustness of due course, they would reach their bourne at Apsley Terrace. They would shed all their midnight devilry in the pot, and be served up to Henry and Caroline very pure and vegetable.

Baffled, she stared back at the moon and shook her head. For a moment, it seemed like she had found the clue, but it slipped through her fingers again. The train had reached{136} the top of the cutting, and with a joyful shriek, it began to rush downhill. She smiled. It amused her to imagine it was loaded with cabbages. Once it arrived at Paddington, the cabbages would be sent to Covent Garden. But inevitably, with all the importance of the process, they would end up at Apsley Terrace. They would lose all their midnight mischief in the pot and be served to Henry and Caroline very pure and fresh.

‘Lovely! lovely!’ she said, and began to descend the hill, for the night was cold. Though her secret had eluded her again, she did not mind. She knew that this time she had come nearer to catching it than ever before. If it were attainable she would run it to earth here, sooner or later. Great Mop was the likeliest place to find it.

‘Lovely! lovely!’ she said, and started to head down the hill, since the night was chilly. Even though her secret had slipped away from her again, she didn’t mind. She knew that this time she had gotten closer to finding it than ever before. If it was achievable, she would track it down here eventually. Great Mop was the best place to look for it.

The village was in darkness; it had gone to bed early, as good villages should. Only Miss Carloe’s window was alight. Kind Miss Carloe, she would sit up till all hours tempting her hedgehog with bread-and-milk. Hedgehogs are nocturnal animals; they go out for walks at night, grunting, and shoving out their black snouts. ‘Thrice the brindled cat hath mewed; Thrice, and once the hedgepig whined. Harper{137} cries, “Tis time, ’tis time.” She found the key under the half-brick, and let herself in very quietly. Only sleep sat up for her, waiting in the hushed house. Sleep took her by the hand, and convoyed her up the narrow stairs. She fell asleep almost as her head touched the pillow.

The village was in darkness; it had gone to bed early, as good villages should. Only Miss Carloe’s window was lit. Kind Miss Carloe, she would stay up late tempting her hedgehog with bread and milk. Hedgehogs are nocturnal animals; they roam at night, grunting and poking their black snouts around. “Thrice the brindled cat has meowed; Thrice, and once the hedgehog whined. Harper{137} cries, ‘It’s time, it’s time.’” She found the key under the half-brick and let herself in very quietly. Only sleep awaited her in the quiet house. Sleep took her by the hand and guided her up the narrow stairs. She fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow.

By the next day all this seemed very ordinary. She had gone out on a windy night and heard a goods train. There was nothing remarkable in that. It would have been a considerable adventure in London, but it was nothing in the Chilterns. Yet she retained an odd feeling of respect for what had happened, as though it had laid some command upon her that waited to be interpreted and obeyed. She thought it over, and tried to make sense of it. If it pointed to anything, it pointed to Paddington. She did what she could; she wrote and invited Caroline to spend a day at Great Mop. She did not suppose that this was the right interpretation, but she could think of no other.

By the next day, all of this felt pretty normal. She had gone out on a windy night and heard a freight train. That wasn't anything special. It would have been quite an adventure in London, but it was nothing in the Chilterns. Still, she held onto a strange sense of respect for what had happened, as if it had placed some kind of command on her that needed to be understood and followed. She thought about it and tried to figure it out. If it meant anything, it pointed to Paddington. She did her best; she wrote and invited Caroline to spend a day at Great Mop. She didn't think this was the right interpretation, but she couldn't come up with any other.

All the birds were singing as Laura went down the lane to meet Caroline’s car. It was almost like summer, nothing could be more fortunate. Caroline was dressed in sensible tweeds. ‘It was raining when I left London,{138}’ she said, and glanced severely at Laura’s cotton gown.

All the birds were singing as Laura walked down the lane to meet Caroline’s car. It felt almost like summer; nothing could be better. Caroline was dressed in practical tweeds. “It was raining when I left London,{138}” she said, looking critically at Laura’s cotton dress.

‘Was it?’ said Laura. ‘It hasn’t rained here.’ She stopped. She looked carefully at the blue sky. There was not a cloud to be seen. ‘Perhaps it will rain later on,’ she added. Caroline also looked at the sky, and said: ‘Probably.’

‘Was it?’ Laura said. ‘It hasn’t rained here.’ She paused. She carefully gazed at the blue sky. There wasn’t a cloud in sight. ‘Maybe it will rain later,’ she added. Caroline also looked at the sky and said, ‘Probably.’

Conversation was a little difficult, for Laura did not know how much she was still in disgrace. She asked after everybody in a rather guilty voice, and heard how emphatically they all throve, and what a pleasant, cheerful winter they had all spent. After that came the distance from Wickendon and the hour of departure. In planning the conduct of the day, Laura had decided to keep the church for after lunch. Before lunch she would show Caroline the view. She had vaguely allotted an hour and a half to the view, but it took scarcely twenty minutes. At least, that was the time it took walking up to the windmill and down again. The view had taken no time at all. It was a very clear day, and everything that could be seen was perceptible at the first glance.

Conversation was a bit awkward because Laura wasn’t sure how much she was still in trouble. She asked about everyone in a somewhat guilty tone and learned how well they were all doing and what a nice, cheerful winter they had all had. Then there was the distance from Wickendon and the time to leave. While planning the day, Laura had decided to save the church visit for after lunch. Before lunch, she wanted to show Caroline the view. She had loosely planned for an hour and a half for the view, but it took almost no time—barely twenty minutes to walk up to the windmill and back down. The view itself was quick; it was a clear day, and everything was visible at first glance.

Caroline was so stoutly equipped for country walking that Laura had not the heart to drag{139} her up another hill. They visited the church instead. The church was more successful. Caroline sank on her knees and prayed. This gave Laura an opportunity to look round, for she had not been inside the church before. It was extremely narrow, and had windows upon the south side only, so that it looked like a holy corridor. Caroline prayed for some time, and Laura made the most of it. Presently she was able to lead Caroline down the corridor, murmuring: ‘That window was presented in 1901. There is rather a nice brass in this corner. That bit of carving is old, it is the Wise and the Foolish Virgins. Take care of the step.’

Caroline was so well-prepared for a country walk that Laura didn't have the heart to pull her up another hill. Instead, they went to the church. The church visit was more successful. Caroline knelt down to pray. This gave Laura a chance to look around since she had never been inside the church before. It was very narrow and had windows only on the south side, making it feel like a sacred corridor. Caroline prayed for a while, and Laura took full advantage of it. Soon, she was able to guide Caroline down the corridor, saying, "That window was donated in 1901. There's a nice brass piece in this corner. That carving is old; it's the Wise and the Foolish Virgins. Watch your step."

One foolish Virgin pleased Laura as being particularly lifelike. She stood a little apart from the group, holding a flask close to her ear, and shaking it. During lunch Laura felt that her stock of oil, too, was running very low. But it was providentially renewed, for soon after lunch a perfect stranger fell off a bicycle just outside Mrs. Leak’s door and sprained her ankle. Laura and Caroline leapt up to succour her, and then there was a great deal of cold compress and hot tea and animation. The perfect stranger was a Secretary to a Guild. She asked Caroline if she did not think Great{140} Mop a delightful nook, and Caroline cordially agreed. They went on discovering Committees in common till tea-time, and soon after went off together in Caroline’s car. Just as Caroline stepped into the car she asked Laura if she had met any nice people in the neighbourhood.

One silly Virgin caught Laura's attention because she looked really lifelike. She stood a little apart from the group, holding a flask close to her ear and shaking it. During lunch, Laura sensed that her supply of oil was getting low too. But it was luckily replenished when a complete stranger fell off a bicycle right outside Mrs. Leak's door and sprained her ankle. Laura and Caroline jumped up to help her, and soon there were cold compresses, hot tea, and lots of chatting. The stranger turned out to be a Secretary to a Guild. She asked Caroline if she thought Great{140} Mop was a lovely spot, and Caroline happily agreed. They kept discovering shared Committees until tea time and then took off together in Caroline's car. Just as Caroline got into the car, she asked Laura if she had met any nice people in the neighborhood.

‘No. There aren’t any nice people,’ said Laura. Wondering if the bicycle would stay like that, twined so casually round the driver’s neck, she had released her attention one minute too soon.

‘No. There aren’t any nice people,’ said Laura. She was curious if the bicycle would remain that way, casually looped around the driver’s neck; she had let her focus slip just one minute too soon.

As far as she knew this was her only slip throughout the day. It was a pity. But Caroline would soon forget it; she might not even have heard it, for the Secretary was talking loudly about Homes of Rest at the same moment. Still, it was a pity. She might have remembered Mr. Saunter, though perhaps she could not have explained him satisfactorily in the time.

As far as she knew, this was the only mistake she made all day. It was unfortunate. But Caroline would forget it soon; she might not have even noticed it, since the Secretary was talking loudly about Homes of Rest at the same time. Still, it was a shame. She might have thought of Mr. Saunter, although maybe she wouldn’t have been able to explain him properly in that moment.

She turned and walked slowly through the fields towards the poultry-farm. She could not settle down to complete solitude so soon after Caroline’s departure. She would decline gradually, using Mr. Saunter as an intermediate step. He was feeding his poultry, going from pen to pen with a zinc wheelbarrow and a large wooden{141} spoon. The birds flew round him; he had continually to stop and fend them off like a swarm of large midges. Sometimes he would grasp a specially bothering bird and throw it back into the pen as though it were a ball. She leant on the gate and watched him. This young man who had been a bank-clerk and a soldier walked with the easy, slow strides of a born countryman; he seemed to possess the earth with each step. No doubt but he was like Adam. And she, watching him from above—for the field sloped down from the gate to the pens—was like God. Did God, after casting out the rebel angels and before settling down to the peace of a heaven unpeopled of contradiction, use Adam as an intermediate step?

She turned and walked slowly through the fields toward the poultry farm. She couldn’t settle into complete solitude so soon after Caroline left. She would ease into it gradually, using Mr. Saunter as a middle step. He was feeding his chickens, moving from pen to pen with a zinc wheelbarrow and a large wooden spoon. The birds were flying around him; he had to constantly stop and shoo them away like a swarm of large flies. Sometimes he would grab a particularly pesky bird and toss it back into the pen as if it were a ball. She leaned on the gate and watched him. This young man, who had been a bank clerk and a soldier, walked with the easy, slow strides of a born countryman; he seemed to own the earth with each step. No doubt he was like Adam. And she, watching him from above—since the field sloped down from the gate to the pens—was like God. Did God, after casting out the rebel angels and before settling into the peace of a heaven free from contradiction, use Adam as a middle step?

On his way back to the hut Mr. Saunter noticed Laura. He came up and leant on his side of the gate. Though the sun had gone down, the air was still warm, and a disembodied daylight seemed to weigh upon the landscape like a weight of sleep. The birds which had sung all day now sang louder then ever.

On his way back to the hut, Mr. Saunter saw Laura. He walked over and leaned against his side of the gate. Even though the sun had set, the air was still warm, and a soft light seemed to blanket the landscape like a gentle sleep. The birds that had sung all day were now singing louder than ever.

‘Hasn’t it been a glorious day?’ said Mr. Saunter.

“Hasn’t it been a beautiful day?” Mr. Saunter said.

‘I have had my sister-in-law down,’ Laura answered. ‘She lives in London.{142}

‘I had my sister-in-law visit,’ Laura replied. ‘She lives in London.{142}

‘My people,’ said Mr. Saunter, ‘all live in the Midlands.’

‘My people,’ said Mr. Saunter, ‘all live in the Midlands.’

‘Or in Australia,’ he added after a pause.

‘Or in Australia,’ he added after a pause.

Mr. Saunter, seen from above, walking among his flocks and herds—for even hens seemed ennobled into something Biblical by their relation to him—was an impressive figure. Mr. Saunter leaning on the gate was a pleasant, unaffected young man enough, but no more. Quitting him, Laura soon forgot him as completely as she had forgotten Caroline. Caroline was a tedious bluebottle; Mr. Saunter a gentle, furry brown moth; but she could brush off one as easily as the other.

Mr. Saunter, viewed from above, walking among his flocks and herds—even the hens seemed elevated to something Biblical by being around him—was an impressive sight. Mr. Saunter leaning against the gate was a nice, down-to-earth young man, but nothing more. After leaving him, Laura quickly forgot about him just as completely as she had forgotten Caroline. Caroline was an annoying bluebottle; Mr. Saunter was a soft, brown moth; but she could dismiss one just as easily as the other.

Laura even forgot that she had invited the moth to settle again; to come to tea. It was only by chance that she had stayed indoors that afternoon, making currant scones. To amuse herself she had cut the dough into likenesses of the village people. Curious developments took place in the baking. Miss Carloe’s hedgehog had swelled until it was almost as large as its mistress. The dough had run into it, leaving a great hole in Miss Carloe’s side. Mr. Jones had a lump on his back, as though he were carrying the Black Dog in a bag; and a fancy portrait of Miss Larpent in her elegant youth{143} and a tight-fitting sweeping amazon had warped and twisted until it was more like a gnarled thorn tree than a woman.

Laura even forgot that she had invited the moth to come back and have tea. It was only by chance that she stayed inside that afternoon, making currant scones. To pass the time, she cut the dough into shapes of the village people. Strange things happened while baking. Miss Carloe’s hedgehog grew so big it was almost as large as she was. The dough had spilled into it, leaving a big hole in Miss Carloe’s side. Mr. Jones had a lump on his back, as if he were carrying the Black Dog in a bag; and a fancy portrait of Miss Larpent in her youthful elegance and fitted dress had warped and twisted until it looked more like a gnarled thorn tree than a woman.{143}

Laura felt slightly ashamed of her freak. It was unkind to play these tricks with her neighbours’ bodies. But Mr. Saunter ate the strange shapes without comment, quietly splitting open the villagers and buttering them. He told her that he would soon lose the services of young Billy Thomas, who was going to Lazzard Court as a footman.

Laura felt a bit embarrassed about her freak. It wasn’t nice to mess with her neighbors’ bodies like that. But Mr. Saunter ate the odd shapes without saying anything, calmly cutting open the villagers and spreading butter on them. He mentioned that he would soon lose the help of young Billy Thomas, who was going to Lazzard Court as a footman.

‘I shouldn’t think young Billy Thomas would make much of a footman,’ said Laura.

"I doubt young Billy Thomas would be much of a footman," Laura said.

‘I don’t know,’ he answered consideringly. ‘He’s very good at standing still.’

‘I don’t know,’ he replied thoughtfully. ‘He’s really good at just standing still.’

Laura had brought her sensitive conscience into the country with her, just as she had brought her umbrella, though so far she had not remembered to use either. Now the conscience gave signs of life. Mr. Saunter was so nice, and had eaten up those derisive scones, innocently under the impression that they had been prepared for him; he had come with his gift of eggs, all kindness and forethought while she had forgotten his existence; and now he was getting up to go, thanking her and afraid that he had stayed too long. She had acted unworthily by{144} this young man, so dignified and unassuming; she must do something to repair the slight she had put upon him in her own mind. She offered herself as a substitute for young Billy Thomas until Mr. Saunter could find some one else.

Laura had brought her sensitive conscience with her to the countryside, just like she had brought her umbrella, even though she hadn’t remembered to use either so far. Now her conscience was starting to stir. Mr. Saunter was so nice and had eaten those mocking scones, thinking they were made for him; he had come with his gift of eggs, full of kindness and thoughtfulness while she had forgotten all about him; and now he was getting up to leave, thanking her and worried that he had overstayed his welcome. She had treated this young man, who was so dignified and unpretentious, poorly; she needed to do something to rectify the slight she had cast upon him in her own mind. She offered to take the place of young Billy Thomas until Mr. Saunter could find someone else.

‘I don’t know anything about hens,’ she admitted. ‘But I am fond of animals, and I am very obedient.’

‘I don’t know anything about hens,’ she admitted. ‘But I love animals, and I am very obedient.’

It was agreed that she might go on the following day to help him with the trap-nesting, and see how she liked it.

It was agreed that she could go the next day to help him with the trap-nesting and see if she liked it.

At first Mr. Saunter would not allow her to do more than walk round with him upon planks specially put down to save her from the muddy places, pencil the eggs, and drink tea afterwards. But she came so punctually and showed such eagerness that as time went on she persuaded him into allowing her a considerable share in the work.

At first, Mr. Saunter wouldn't let her do more than walk around with him on planks set up to keep her out of the mud, pencil the eggs, and drink tea afterward. But she showed up so regularly and was so eager that over time, she convinced him to let her take on a significant part of the work.

There was much to do, for it was a busy time of year. The incubators had fulfilled their time; Laura learnt how to lift out the newly-hatched chicks, damp, almost lifeless from their birth-throes, and pack them into baskets. A few hours after the chicks were plump and fluffy. They looked like bunches of primroses in the moss-lined baskets.{145}

There was a lot to do because it was a hectic time of year. The incubators had completed their cycle; Laura learned how to lift out the newly hatched chicks, damp and almost lifeless from their struggle to be born, and pack them into baskets. A few hours later, the chicks were plump and fluffy. They looked like clusters of primroses in the moss-lined baskets.{145}

Besides mothering his chicks Mr. Saunter was busy with a great re-housing of the older birds. This was carried out after sundown, for the birds were sleepy then, and easier to deal with. If moved by day they soon revolted, and went back to their old pens. Even as it was there were always a few sticklers, roosting uncomfortably among the newcomers, or standing disconsolately before their old homes, closed against them.

Besides taking care of his chicks, Mr. Saunter was busy relocating the older birds. This was done after sunset, when the birds were sleepy and easier to handle. If moved during the day, they quickly rebelled and returned to their old pens. Even so, there were always a few holdouts, awkwardly roosting among the newcomers or standing sadly in front of their old homes, which were now closed to them.

Laura liked this evening round best of all. The April twilights were marvellously young and still. A slender moon soared in the green sky; the thick spring grass was heavy with dew, and the earth darkened about her feet while overhead it still seemed quite light. Mr. Saunter would disappear into the henhouse, a protesting squawking and scuffling would be heard; then he would emerge with hens under either arm. He showed Laura how to carry them, two at a time, their breasts in her hands, their wings held fast between her arm and her side. She would tickle the warm breasts, warm and surprisingly bony with quills under the soft plumage, and make soothing noises.

Laura loved this evening the most. The April twilight was wonderfully young and still. A slender moon hung in the green sky; the thick spring grass was heavy with dew, and the ground around her feet was dark while it still felt light overhead. Mr. Saunter would head into the henhouse, and you could hear the protesting squawking and scuffling; then he'd come out with hens tucked under each arm. He showed Laura how to hold them, two at a time, cradling their bodies in her hands, their wings pressed against her arm and side. She would gently tickle their warm, surprisingly bony breasts, feeling the quills beneath the soft feathers, and she’d make soothing noises.

At first she felt nervous with the strange burden, so meek and inanimate one moment, so{146} shrewish the next, struggling and beating with strong freed wings. However many birds Mr. Saunter might be carrying, he was always able to relieve her of hers. Immediately the termagant would subside, tamed by the large sure grasp, meek as a dove, with rigid dangling legs, and head turning sadly from side to side.

At first, she felt anxious about the strange weight, submissive and lifeless one moment, then{146} aggressive the next, flapping and fighting with powerful, free wings. No matter how many birds Mr. Saunter had, he could always take hers away. Instantly, the fierce creature would settle down, calmed by his firm, confident grip, gentle as a dove, with stiff legs hanging down and its head sadly turning from side to side.

Laura never became as clever with the birds as Mr. Saunter. But when she had overcome her nervousness she managed them well enough to give herself a great deal of pleasure. They nestled against her, held fast in the crook of her arm, while her fingers probed among the soft feathers and rigid quills of their breasts. She liked to feel their acquiescence, their dependence upon her. She felt wise and potent. She remembered the henwife in the fairy-tales, she understood now why kings and queens resorted to the henwife in their difficulties. The henwife held their destinies in the crook of her arm, and hatched the future in her apron. She was sister to the spaewife, and close cousin to the witch, but she practised her art under cover of henwifery; she was not, like her sister and her cousin, a professional. She lived unassumingly at the bottom of the king’s garden, wearing a large white apron and very possibly her husban{147}d’s cloth cap; and when she saw the king and queen coming down the gravel path she curtseyed reverentially, and pretended it was the eggs they had come about. She was easier of approach than the spaewife, who sat on a creepie and stared at the smouldering peats till her eyes were red and unseeing; or the witch, who lived alone in the wood, her cottage window all grown over with brambles. But though she kept up this pretence of homeliness she was not inferior in skill to the professionals. Even the pretence of homeliness was not quite so homely as it might seem. Laura knew that the Russian witches live in small huts mounted upon three giant hen’s legs, all yellow and scaly. The legs can go; when the witch desires to move her dwelling the legs stalk through the forest, clattering against the trees, and printing long scars upon the snow.

Laura never became as skilled with the birds as Mr. Saunter. But once she got past her nervousness, she managed them well enough to bring herself a lot of joy. They snuggled against her, secure in the crook of her arm, while her fingers explored the soft feathers and stiff quills of their chests. She enjoyed feeling their acceptance and reliance on her. It made her feel wise and powerful. She remembered the henwife from fairy tales and understood now why kings and queens turned to the henwife in their troubles. The henwife held their fates in the crook of her arm and hatched the future in her apron. She was a sister to the spaewife and a close relative to the witch, but she practiced her craft under the guise of henwifery; unlike her sister and cousin, she wasn't a professional. She lived modestly at the edge of the king’s garden, wearing a large white apron and probably her husband’s cloth cap; when she saw the king and queen walking down the gravel path, she curtsied respectfully and pretended they had come about the eggs. She was more approachable than the spaewife, who sat on a stool and stared at the smoldering coals until her eyes were red and vacant; or the witch, who lived alone in the woods with her cottage window overgrown with brambles. But despite her pretense of being down-to-earth, she was equally skilled as the professionals. Even her act of being homely wasn’t quite as simple as it seemed. Laura knew that the Russian witches lived in small huts perched on three giant hen’s legs, all yellow and scaly. When the witch wanted to move her home, the legs would stomp through the forest, clattering against the trees and leaving long scars on the snow.

Following Mr. Saunter up and down between the pens, Laura almost forgot where and who she was, so completely had she merged her personality into the henwife’s. She walked back along the rutted track and down the steep lane as obliviously as though she were flitting home on a broomstick. All through April she helped Mr. Saunter. They were both sorry when a{148} new boy applied for the job and her duties came to an end. She knew no more of Mr. Saunter at the close of this association than she had known at its beginning. It could scarcely be said even that she liked him any better, for from their first meeting she had liked him extremely. Time had assured the liking, and that was all. So well assured was it, that she felt perfectly free to wander away and forget him once more, certain of finding him as likeable and well liked as before whenever she might choose to return.

Following Mr. Saunter as he walked back and forth between the pens, Laura almost forgot who she was and where she was, so thoroughly had she blended her identity with the henwife’s. She strolled back along the bumpy path and down the steep lane as if she were flying home on a broomstick. Throughout April, she helped Mr. Saunter. They both felt sad when a{148} new boy applied for the job and her responsibilities came to an end. She didn’t know any more about Mr. Saunter at the end of their time together than she did at the beginning. It couldn’t even be said that she liked him any more, as she had already liked him a lot from their first meeting. Time had only solidified her feelings, and that was it. She felt so confident in her feelings that she was perfectly okay wandering off and forgetting him again, knowing she could always return to find him as likable and well-liked as before whenever she chose to come back.

During her first months at Great Mop the moods of the winter landscape and the renewing of spring had taken such hold of her imagination that she thought no season could be more various and lovely. She had even written a slightly precious letter to Titus—for somehow correspondence with Titus was always rather attentive—declaring her belief that the cult of the summer months was a piece of cockney obtuseness, a taste for sweet things, and a preference for dry grass to strew their egg-shells upon. But with the first summer days and the first cowslips she learnt better. She had known that there would be cowslips in May; from the day she first thought of Great Mop she had promised them to herself. She had meant to find them{149} early and watch the yellow blossoms unfolding upon the milky green stems. But they were beforehand with her, or she had watched the wrong fields. When she walked into the meadow it was bloomed over with cowslips, powdering the grass in variable plenty, here scattered, there clustered, innumerable as the stars in the Milky Way.

During her first months at Great Mop, the moods of the winter landscape and the renewal of spring had captured her imagination so completely that she believed no season could be more varied and beautiful. She even wrote a somewhat flowery letter to Titus—since communication with Titus was always a bit more focused—expressing her belief that the obsession with summer was a sign of being out of touch, a liking for sweet things, and a preference for dry grass to scatter their egg-shells upon. But with the arrival of the first summer days and the first cowslips, she learned otherwise. She had known there would be cowslips in May; from the moment she first thought of Great Mop, she had promised them to herself. She intended to find them{149} early and watch the yellow blossoms unfold on the milky green stems. But they were ready before she was, or she had looked in the wrong fields. When she walked into the meadow, it was covered with cowslips, dotting the grass in a varying abundance, some scattered, some clustered, countless like the stars in the Milky Way.

She knelt down among them and laid her face close to their fragrance. The weight of all her unhappy years seemed for a moment to weigh her bosom down to the earth; she trembled, understanding for the first time how miserable she had been; and in another moment she was released. It was all gone, it could never be again, and never had been. Tears of thankfulness ran down her face. With every breath she drew, the scent of the cowslips flowed in and absolved her.

She knelt down among them and pressed her face close to their scent. The weight of all her unhappy years felt like it was pushing her down to the ground; she trembled, realizing for the first time just how miserable she'd been; and in an instant, it all lifted away. It was all gone, it could never come back, and it never truly existed. Tears of gratitude streamed down her face. With every breath she took, the smell of the cowslips filled her up and set her free.

She was changed, and knew it. She was humbler, and more simple. She ceased to triumph mentally over her tyrants, and rallied herself no longer with the consciousness that she had outraged them by coming to live at Great Mop. The amusement she had drawn from their disapproval was a slavish remnant, a derisive dance on the north bank of the Ohio{150}. There was no question of forgiving them. She had not, in any case, a forgiving nature; and the injury they had done her was not done by them. If she were to start forgiving she must needs forgive Society, the Law, the Church, the History of Europe, the Old Testament, great-great-aunt Salome and her prayer-book, the Bank of England, Prostitution, the Architect of Apsley Terrace, and half a dozen other useful props of civilisation. All she could do was to go on forgetting them. But now she was able to forget them without flouting them by her forgetfulness.

She had changed, and she knew it. She was more humble and simpler. She stopped mentally celebrating her victory over her oppressors and no longer reassured herself with the idea that she had embarrassed them by moving to Great Mop. The enjoyment she had taken from their disapproval was a weak remnant, a mocking dance on the north bank of the Ohio{150}. There was no question of forgiving them. She wasn’t naturally forgiving, and the hurt they caused her wasn’t solely their doing. If she started forgiving, she would have to forgive Society, the Law, the Church, the History of Europe, her great-great-aunt Salome and her prayer book, the Bank of England, Prostitution, the Architect of Apsley Terrace, and a handful of other fundamental parts of civilization. All she could do was keep forgetting them. But now she could forget them without challenging them through her forgetfulness.

Throughout May and June and the first fortnight of July she lived in perfect idleness and contentment, growing every day more freckled and more rooted in peace. On July 17th she was disturbed by a breath from the world. Titus came down to see her. It was odd to be called Aunt Lolly again. Titus did not use the term often; he addressed his friends of both sexes and his relations of all ages as My Dear; but Aunt Lolly slipped out now and again.

Throughout May and June and the first two weeks of July, she lived in complete relaxation and happiness, becoming more freckled and more at peace with each passing day. On July 17th, she was shaken by a reminder of the outside world. Titus came down to visit her. It felt strange to be called Aunt Lolly again. Titus didn’t use that name often; he usually referred to his friends, regardless of gender, and family members of all ages as My Dear, but Aunt Lolly came out now and then.

There was no need to show Titus the inside of the church. There was no need even to take him up to the windmill and show him the view. He did all that for himself, and got it{151} over before breakfast—for Titus breakfasted for three mornings at Great Mop. He had come for the day only, but he was too pleased to go back. He was his own master now, he had rooms in Bloomsbury and did not need even to send off a telegram. Mrs. Garland who let lodgings in the summer was able to oblige him with a bedroom, full of pincushions and earwigs and marine photographs; and Mrs. Trumpet gave him all the benefit of all the experience he invoked in the choice of a tooth-brush. For three days he sat about with Laura, and talked of his intention to begin brewing immediately. He had refused to visit Italy with his mother—he had rejected several flattering invitations from editors—because brewing appealed to him more than anything else in the world. This, he said, was the last night out before the wedding. On his return to Bloomsbury he intended to let his rooms to an amiable Mahometan, and to apprentice himself to his family brewery until he had learnt the family trade.

Titus didn’t need someone to show him around the church or take him up to the windmill to see the view. He handled all that himself, fitting it in before breakfast—since he stayed at Great Mop for three mornings. He initially came for just one day but was too happy to head back. He was independent now, had a place in Bloomsbury, and didn’t even need to send a telegram. Mrs. Garland, who rented out rooms in the summer, kindly offered him a bedroom filled with pincushions, earwigs, and marine photos; and Mrs. Trumpet shared all her wisdom when he chose a toothbrush. For three days, he hung out with Laura, discussing his plan to start brewing right away. He had turned down a trip to Italy with his mom and declined several tempting invitations from editors because brewing was what fascinated him most. He mentioned that this was his last night out before the wedding. Once he got back to Bloomsbury, he planned to rent his room to a friendly Muslim and learn the family brewing business by apprenticing himself at their brewery.

Laura gave him many messages to Lady Place. It was clear before her in an early morning light. She could exactly recall the smell of the shrubbery, her mother flowing across the croquet lawn, her father’s voice as he called up the dogs.{152} She could see herself, too: her old self, for her present self had no part in the place. She did not suppose she would ever return there, although she was glad that Titus was faithful.

Laura sent many messages to Lady Place. It was clear to her in the early morning light. She could vividly remember the scent of the bushes, her mother moving across the croquet lawn, and her father's voice calling the dogs.{152} She could see her younger self, too; her current self felt disconnected from the place. She didn’t think she would ever go back there, but she was happy that Titus remained loyal.

Titus departed. He wrote her a letter from Bloomsbury, saying that he had struck a good bargain with the Mahometan, and was off to Somerset. Ten days later she heard from Sibyl that he was coming to live at Great Mop. She had scarcely time to assemble her feelings about this before he was arrived.{153}

Titus left. He wrote her a letter from Bloomsbury, saying that he had made a good deal with the Muslim and was heading to Somerset. Ten days later, she heard from Sibyl that he was moving to Great Mop. She barely had time to process her feelings about this before he arrived.{153}

Part 3

IT was the third week in August. The weather was sultry; day after day Laura heard the village people telling each other that there was thunder in the air. Every evening they stood in the village street, looking upwards, and the cattle stood waiting in the fields. But the storm delayed. It hid behind the hills, biding its time.

It was the third week of August. The weather was humid; day after day, Laura listened to the villagers telling each other that there was thunder in the air. Every evening, they gathered in the village street, looking up, while the cattle waited in the fields. But the storm was delayed. It stayed hidden behind the hills, waiting for the right moment.

Laura had spent the afternoon in a field, a field of unusual form, for it was triangular. On two sides it was enclosed by woodland, and because of this it was already darkening into a premature twilight, as though it were a room. She had been there for hours. Though it was sultry, she could not sit still. She walked up and down, turning savagely when she came to the edge of the field. Her limbs were tired, and she stumbled over the flints and matted couch grass. Throughout the long afternoon a stock dove had cooed in the wood. ‘Cool, cool, cool,’ it said, delighting in its green bower. Now it had ceased, and there was no life in the woods. The sky was covered with a thick uniform haze. No ray of the declining sun{154} broke through it, but the whole heavens were beginning to take on a dull, brassy pallor. The long afternoon was ebbing away, stealthily, impassively, as though it were dying under an anaesthetic.

Laura had spent the afternoon in a field, a field of unusual shape, because it was triangular. It was bordered on two sides by woods, which made it darkening into an early twilight, almost like a room. She had been there for hours. Even though it was muggy, she couldn't sit still. She paced back and forth, turning sharply when she reached the edge of the field. Her limbs ached, and she tripped over the stones and thick grass. Throughout the long afternoon, a turtle dove had cooed in the woods. "Cool, cool, cool," it said, enjoying its green haven. Now it had stopped, and there was no life in the woods. The sky was covered with a thick, even haze. No ray of the setting sun{154} broke through, and the whole sky was starting to take on a dull, brassy color. The long afternoon was slipping away, quietly, indifferently, as if it were fading away under anesthesia.

Laura had not listened to the stock dove; she had not seen the haze thickening overhead. She walked up and down in despair and rebellion. She walked slowly, for she felt the weight of her chains. Once more they had been fastened upon her. She had worn them for many years, acquiescently, scarcely feeling their weight. Now she felt it. And, with their weight, she felt their familiarity, and the familiarity was worst of all. Titus had seen her starting out. He had cried; ‘Where are you off to, Aunt Lolly? Wait a minute, and I’ll come too.’ She had feigned not to hear him and had walked on. She had not turned her head until she was out of the village, she expected at every moment to hear him come bounding up behind her. Had he done so, she thought she would have turned round and snarled at him. For she wanted, oh! how much she wanted, to be left alone for once. Even when she felt pretty sure that she had escaped she could not profit by her solitude, for Titus’s voice still jangled on her nerves. ‘Where{155} are you off to, Aunt Lolly? Wait a minute, and I’ll come too.’ She heard his very tones, and heard intensely her own silence that had answered him. Too flustered to notice where she was going, she had followed a chance track until she found herself in this field where she had never been before. Here the track ended, and here she stayed.

Laura hadn't listened to the stock dove; she hadn't noticed the haze thickening above her. She paced back and forth in despair and rebellion. She walked slowly, feeling the weight of her chains. Once again, they had been fastened onto her. She had worn them for many years, submissively, hardly noticing their weight. Now she felt it. And along with that weight, she felt a sense of familiarity, which was the hardest part. Titus had seen her leave. He had shouted, "Where are you going, Aunt Lolly? Wait a minute, I’ll come too." She pretended not to hear him and walked on. She didn't look back until she was out of the village, expecting to hear him catching up behind her at any moment. If he had, she thought she would have turned around and snapped at him. Because she wanted, oh! how desperately she wanted, to be left alone for once. Even when she felt she had escaped, she couldn’t enjoy her solitude, because Titus’s voice still grated on her nerves. “Where are you going, Aunt Lolly? Wait a minute, I’ll come too.” She could still hear his exact tone and felt acutely aware of her own silence in response. Too flustered to pay attention to where she was going, she had taken a random path until she found herself in this field she had never visited before. Here the path ended, and here she remained.

The woods rose up before her like barriers. On the third side of the field was a straggling hedge; along it sprawled a thick bank of burdocks, growing with malignant profusion. It was an unpleasant spot. Bitterly she said to herself: ‘Well, perhaps he’ll leave me alone here,’ and was glad of its unpleasantness. Titus could have all the rest: the green meadows, the hill-tops, the beech-woods dark and resonant as the inside of a sea-shell. He could walk in the greenest meadow and have dominion over it like a bull. He could loll his great body over the hill-tops, or rout silence out of the woods. They were hers, they were all hers, but she would give them all up to him and keep only this dismal field, and these coarse weeds growing out of an uncleansed soil. Any terms to be rid of him. But even on these terms she could not be rid of him, for all the afternoon he had been{156} present in her thoughts, and his voice rang in her ears as distinctly as ever: ‘Wait a minute, and I’ll come with you.’ She had not waited; but, nevertheless, he had come.

The woods loomed in front of her like obstacles. On the third side of the field was a messy hedge; next to it was a thick patch of burdocks, growing with relentless abundance. It was an uncomfortable place. Bitterly she thought, ‘Well, maybe he’ll leave me alone here,’ and felt relieved by its unpleasantness. Titus could have everything else: the green meadows, the hilltops, the beech woods dark and echoey like the inside of a seashell. He could stroll in the greenest meadow and have total control over it like a bull. He could lounge his big body over the hilltops or disturb the silence in the woods. They were hers, all hers, but she would trade them all for him and keep only this grim field and these rough weeds growing from unclean soil. Any deal to be rid of him. But even under these conditions, she couldn't escape him, because all afternoon he had been{156} on her mind, and his voice echoed in her ears as clearly as ever: ‘Wait a minute, and I’ll come with you.’ She hadn’t waited; but still, he had come.

Actually, she knew—and the knowledge smote her—Titus, seeing her walk by unheeding, had picked up his book again and read on, reading slowly, and slowly drawing at his pipe, careless, intent, and satisfied. Perhaps he still sat by the open window. Perhaps he had wandered out, taking his book with him, and now was lying in the shade, still reading, or sleeping with his nose pressed into the grass, or with idle patience inveigling an ant to climb up a dry stalk. For this was Titus, Titus who had always been her friend. She had believed that she loved him; even when she heard that he was coming to live at Great Mop she had half thought that it might be rather nice to have him there. ‘Dearest Lolly,’ Sibyl had written from Italy, ‘I feel quite reconciled to this wild scheme of Tito’s, since you will be there to keep an eye on him. Men are so helpless. Tito is so impracticable. A regular artist,’ etc.

Actually, she knew—and the realization hit her hard—Titus, seeing her walk by without noticing her, had picked up his book again and continued reading, slowly, while lazily puffing on his pipe, relaxed, focused, and satisfied. Maybe he was still sitting by the open window. Maybe he had gone outside with his book, lying in the shade, still reading, or napping with his nose pressed into the grass, or patiently trying to encourage an ant to climb a dry stalk. This was Titus, Titus who had always been her friend. She had thought she loved him; even when she learned he was moving to Great Mop, she had half thought it might be nice to have him around. ‘Dearest Lolly,’ Sibyl had written from Italy, ‘I’m feeling quite okay about this wild plan of Tito’s, especially since you’ll be there to keep an eye on him. Men are so helpless. Tito is so impractical. A total artist,’ etc.

The helpless artist had arrived, and immediately upon his arrival walked out to buy beer and raspberries. Sibyl might feel perfectly{157} reconciled. No cat could jump into the most comfortable armchair more unerringly than Titus. ‘Such a nice young gentleman,’ said Mrs. Garland, smoothing his pyjamas with a voluptuous hand. ‘Such a nice young gentleman,’ said Miss Carloe, rubbing her finger over the milling of the new florin she received for the raspberries. ‘Such a nice young gentleman,’ said Mrs. Trumpet at the shop, and Mrs. Ward at the Lamb and Flag. All the white-aproned laps opened to dandle him. The infant Bacchus walked down the village street with his beer and his raspberries, bowing graciously to all Laura’s acquaintances. That evening he supped with her and talked about Fuseli. Fuseli—pronounced Foozley—was a neglected figure of the utmost importance. The pictures, of course, didn’t matter: Titus supposed there were some at the Tate. It was Fuseli the man, Fuseli the sign of his times, etc., that Titus was going to write about. It had been the ambition of his life to write a book about Fuseli, and his first visit to Great Mop convinced him that this was the perfect place to write it in. The secret, Titus said, of writing a good book was to be cut off from access to the reading room of the British Museum. Laura said a little{158} pettishly that if that were all Titus might have stayed in Bloomsbury, and written his book on Good Fridays. Titus demurred. Suppose he ran out of ink? No! Great Mop was the place. ‘To-morrow,’ he added, ‘you must take me round and show me all your footpaths.’

The struggling artist had arrived, and as soon as he got there, he went out to buy beer and raspberries. Sibyl might feel completely reconciled. No cat could leap into the coziest armchair more expertly than Titus. “Such a nice young gentleman,” said Mrs. Garland, smoothing his pajamas with a loving hand. “Such a nice young gentleman,” said Miss Carloe, running her finger over the mint condition of the new florin she got for the raspberries. “Such a nice young gentleman,” said Mrs. Trumpet at the shop, and Mrs. Ward at the Lamb and Flag. All the ladies in their white aprons gathered around to fuss over him. The young Bacchus strolled down the village street with his beer and raspberries, bowing graciously to all of Laura’s friends. That evening, he had dinner with her and talked about Fuseli. Fuseli—pronounced Foozley—was a overlooked figure of great significance. The paintings didn’t really matter; Titus believed there were some at the Tate. It was Fuseli the person, Fuseli as a representation of his times, etc., that Titus wanted to write about. It had been his lifelong dream to write a book about Fuseli, and his first visit to Great Mop had convinced him that this was the ideal place to do it. Titus claimed that the secret to writing a good book was to be cut off from access to the reading room of the British Museum. Laura replied a little petulantly that if that was all it took, Titus could have stayed in Bloomsbury and written his book on Good Fridays. Titus disagreed. What if he ran out of ink? No! Great Mop was the spot. “Tomorrow,” he added, “you have to take me around and show me all your footpaths.”

He left his pipe and tobacco pouch on the mantelpiece. They lay there like the orb and sceptre of an usurping monarch. Laura dreamed that night that Fuseli had arrived at Mr. Saunter’s poultry-farm, killed the hens, and laid out the field as a golf course.

He left his pipe and tobacco pouch on the mantel. They sat there like the orb and scepter of a usurping king. That night, Laura dreamed that Fuseli had shown up at Mr. Saunter’s poultry farm, killed the hens, and turned the field into a golf course.

She heard a great deal about Fuseli during the next few days, while she was obediently showing Titus all her footpaths. It was hot, so they walked in the woods. The paths were narrow, there was seldom room for two to walk abreast, so Titus generally went in front, projecting his voice into the silence. She disliked these walks; she felt ashamed of his company; she thought the woods saw her with him and drew back scornfully to let them pass by together.

She heard a lot about Fuseli over the next few days as she dutifully showed Titus all her walking trails. It was hot, so they wandered through the woods. The paths were narrow, and there was rarely enough space for two to walk side by side, so Titus usually walked ahead, his voice breaking the silence. She didn’t enjoy these walks; she felt embarrassed by his presence. She imagined the woods looking at her with him and stepping back disdainfully to let them walk by alone.

Titus was more tolerable in the village street. Indeed, at first she was rather proud of her nephew’s success. After a week he knew everybody, and knew them far better than she did. He passed from the bar-parlour of the Lamb{159} and Flag to the rustic woodwork of the rector’s lawn. He subscribed to the bowling-green fund, he joined the cricket club, he engaged himself to give readings at the Institute during the winter evenings. He was invited to become a bell-ringer, and to read the lessons. He burgeoned with projects for Co-operative Blue Beverens, morris-dancing, performing Coriolanus with the Ancient Foresters, getting Henry Wappenshaw to come down and paint a village sign, inviting Pandora Williams and her rebeck for the Barleighs Flower Show. He congratulated Laura upon having discovered so unspoilt an example of the village community.

Titus fit in better on the village street. In fact, at first she felt quite proud of her nephew’s achievements. After a week, he knew everyone, and he knew them much better than she did. He moved from the bar-parlour of the Lamb{159} and Flag to the rustic charm of the rector’s lawn. He contributed to the bowling-green fund, joined the cricket club, and committed to giving readings at the Institute during winter evenings. He was asked to become a bell-ringer and to read the lessons. He was brimming with ideas for Co-operative Blue Beverens, morris-dancing, performing Coriolanus with the Ancient Foresters, getting Henry Wappenshaw to come down and paint a village sign, and inviting Pandora Williams and her rebeck for the Barleighs Flower Show. He congratulated Laura for finding such an unspoiled example of the village community.

After the first fortnight he was less exuberant in the growth of his vast fronds. He was growing downwards instead, rooting into the soil. He began his book, and promised to stand godfather to the roadman’s next child. When they went for walks together he would sometimes fall silent, turning his head from side to side to browse the warm scent of a clover field. Once, as they stood on the ridge that guarded the valley from the south-east, he said: ‘I should like to stroke it’—and he waved his hand towards the pattern of rounded hills embossed with rounded beech-woods. She felt a cold{160} shiver at his words, and turned away her eyes from the landscape that she loved so jealously. Titus could never have spoken so if he had not loved it too. Love it as he might, with all the deep Willowes love for country sights and smells, love he never so intimately and soberly, his love must be a horror to her. It was different in kind from hers. It was comfortable, it was portable, it was a reasonable appreciative appetite, a possessive and masculine love. It almost estranged her from Great Mop that he should be able to love it so well, and express his love so easily. He loved the countryside as though it were a body.

After the first two weeks, he was less enthusiastic about the growth of his huge fronds. Instead, he focused on growing downwards, rooting into the soil. He started his book and promised to be the godfather to the roadman’s next child. When they went for walks together, he would sometimes fall silent, tilting his head from side to side to take in the warm scent of a clover field. Once, while they stood on the ridge that overlooked the valley from the southeast, he said, "I should like to stroke it," and gestured toward the pattern of rounded hills dotted with rounded beech woods. She felt a cold{160} shiver at his words and turned her gaze away from the landscape she loved so fiercely. Titus could never have said that if he didn’t love it too. No matter how much he loved it, with all the deep Willowes’ affection for country sights and smells, his love must be terrifying to her. It was fundamentally different from hers. It was comfortable, it was flexible, it was a reasonable, appreciative desire—possessive and masculine. It nearly distanced her from Great Mop that he could love it so well and express that love so easily. He loved the countryside as if it were a body.

She had not loved it so. For days at a time she had been unconscious of its outward aspect, for long before she saw it she had loved it and blessed it. With no earnest but a name, a few lines and letters on a map, and a spray of beech-leaves, she had trusted the place and staked everything on her trust. She had struggled to come, but there had been no such struggle for Titus. It was as easy for him to quit Bloomsbury for the Chilterns as for a cat to jump from a hard chair to a soft. Now after a little scrabbling and exploration he was curled up in the green lap and purring over the landscape.{161} The green lap was comfortable. He meant to stay in it, for he knew where he was well off. It was so comfortable that he could afford to wax loving, praise its kindly slopes, stretch out a discriminating paw and pat it. But Great Mop was no more to him than any other likeable country lap. He liked it because he was in possession. His comfort apart, it was a place like any other place.

She hadn’t loved it that way. For days, she had been unaware of its appearance; long before she saw it, she had loved and cherished it. With nothing but a name, a few lines and letters on a map, and a handful of beech leaves, she had put her trust in the place and risked everything on that trust. She had fought to get there, but Titus didn’t have to struggle at all. For him, leaving Bloomsbury for the Chilterns was as easy as a cat jumping from a hard chair to a soft one. Now, after a little digging and exploring, he was curled up in the green embrace and purring over the landscape.{161} The green embrace was cozy. He intended to stay there because he knew he was well off. It was so comfy that he could afford to feel affectionate, praise its gentle slopes, stretch out a careful paw, and give it a pat. But Great Mop was just like any other nice countryside spot to him. He liked it simply because he was there. Apart from his comfort, it was just another place, like any other.

Laura hated him for daring to love it so. She hated him for daring to love it at all. Most of all she hated him for imposing his kind of love on her. Since he had come to Great Mop she had not been allowed to love in her own way. Commenting, pointing out, appreciating, Titus tweaked her senses one after another as if they were so many bell-ropes. He was a good judge of country things; little escaped him, he understood the points of a landscape as James his father had understood the points of a horse. This was not her way. She was ashamed at paying the countryside these horse-coping compliments. Day by day the spirit of the place withdrew itself further from her. The woods judged her by her company, and hushed their talk as she passed by with Titus. Silence heard them coming, and fled out of the fields, the hills locked up their thoughts, and became so many{162} grassy mounds to be walked up and walked down. She was being boycotted, and she knew it. Presently she would not know it any more. For her too Great Mop would be a place like any other place, a pastoral landscape where an aunt walked out with her nephew.

Laura despised him for daring to love it so much. She despised him for loving it at all. Most of all, she resented him for forcing his version of love on her. Since he had arrived in Great Mop, she hadn’t been able to love in her own way. Commenting, pointing out, appreciating, Titus pulled at her senses one by one as if they were bell ropes. He was a good judge of rural things; little escaped him, and he understood the nuances of a landscape just as James, his father, had understood the nuances of a horse. This wasn’t her way. She felt embarrassed giving the countryside these horse-related compliments. Day by day, the spirit of the place withdrew further from her. The woods judged her by the company she kept, silencing their chatter as she walked by with Titus. Silence heard them approaching and fled from the fields; the hills locked up their thoughts and turned into grassy mounds to be walked up and down. She was being excluded, and she realized it. Soon, she wouldn’t even notice it. For her, too, Great Mop would become just another place, a pastoral landscape where an aunt strolled with her nephew.

Nothing was left her but this sour field. Even this was not truly hers, for here also Titus walked beside her and called her Aunt Lolly. She was powerless against him. He had no idea how he had havocked her peace of mind, he was making her miserable in the best of faith. If he could guess, or if she could tell him, what ruin he carried with him, he would have gone away. She admitted that, even in her frenzy of annoyance. Titus had a kind heart, he meant her nothing but good. Besides, he could easily find another village, other laps were as smooth and as green. But that would never happen. He would never guess. It would never occur to him to look for resentment in her face, or to speculate upon the mood of any one he knew so well. And she would never be able to tell him. When she was with him she came to heel and resumed her old employment of being Aunt Lolly. There was no way out.

Nothing was left for her but this bitter field. Even this wasn’t really hers, because here too Titus walked next to her and called her Aunt Lolly. She felt powerless against him. He had no idea how much he had disturbed her peace of mind; he was making her miserable while genuinely trying to be nice. If he could only guess, or if she could tell him, what destruction he brought with him, he would have walked away. She admitted that, even in her frustration. Titus had a good heart; he meant her no harm. Plus, he could easily find another village; other fields were just as smooth and green. But that would never happen. He would never suspect it. It would never occur to him to look for resentment on her face or to think about the feelings of someone he knew so well. And she would never be able to tell him. When she was with him, she fell back into her old role of being Aunt Lolly. There was no way out.

In vain she had tried to escape, transient and{163} delusive had been her ecstasies of relief. She had thrown away twenty years of her life like a handful of old rags, but the wind had blown them back again, and dressed her in the old uniform. The wind blew steadily from the old quarter, it was the same east wind that chivied bits of waste paper down Apsley Terrace. And she was the same old Aunt Lolly, so useful and obliging and negligible.

In vain she had tried to escape; her brief moments of relief had been misleading. She had tossed away twenty years of her life like a bunch of worn-out rags, but the wind had swept them back, dressing her in the same old outfit. The wind blew steadily from the old part of town, the same east wind that pushed scraps of paper down Apsley Terrace. And she was still the same Aunt Lolly—so helpful, obliging, and forgettable.

The field was full of complacent witnesses. Titus had let them in. Henry and Caroline and Sibyl, Fancy and Marion and Mr. Wolf-Saunders stood round about her; they recognised her and cried out: ‘Why, Aunt Lolly, what are you doing here?’ And Dunlop came stealthily up behind her and said: ‘Excuse me, Miss Lolly, I thought you might like to know that the warning gong has gone!’ She stood at bay, trembling before them, shaken and sick with the grinding anger of the slave. They were come out to recapture her, they had tracked her down and closed her in. They had let her run a little way—that was all—for they knew they could get her back when they chose. Her delusion of freedom had amused them. They had stood grinning behind the bushes when she wept in the cowslip field.{164}

The field was full of satisfied onlookers. Titus had let them in. Henry, Caroline, Sibyl, Fancy, Marion, and Mr. Wolf-Saunders gathered around her; they recognized her and shouted, "Why, Aunt Lolly, what are you doing here?" Then Dunlop quietly approached her from behind and said, "Excuse me, Miss Lolly, I thought you might want to know that the warning gong has sounded!" She stood her ground, trembling in front of them, shaken and sick with the crushing anger of a captive. They had come to capture her again; they had tracked her down and closed her in. They had allowed her to run a little—just for a moment—because they knew they could bring her back whenever they wanted. Her false sense of freedom had entertained them. They had been lurking behind the bushes, grinning, while she cried in the cowslip field.{164}

It had been quite entertaining to watch her, for she had taken herself and her freedom so seriously, happy and intent as a child keeping house under the table. They had watched awhile in their condescending grown-up way, and now they approached her to end the game. Henry was ready to overlook her rebellion, his lips glistened with magnanimity; Caroline and Sibyl came smiling up to twine their arms round her waist; the innocent children of Fancy and Marion stretched out their hands to her and called her Aunt Lolly. And Titus, who had let them in, stood a little apart like a showman, and said, ‘You see, it’s all right. She’s just the same.’

It had been pretty entertaining to watch her, as she took herself and her freedom so seriously, happy and focused like a child playing house under the table. They had watched for a while in their condescending adult way, and now they approached her to end the game. Henry was ready to overlook her rebellion, his lips shining with generosity; Caroline and Sibyl came smiling to wrap their arms around her waist; the innocent kids of Fancy and Marion reached out their hands to her and called her Aunt Lolly. And Titus, who had let them in, stood a little apart like a showman and said, ‘You see, it’s all good. She’s just the same.’

They were all leagued against her. They were come out to seize on her soul. They were invulnerably sure of their prey.

They were all united against her. They had come out to take hold of her soul. They were completely confident of their target.

‘No!’ she cried out, wildly clapping her hands together. ‘No! You shan’t get me. I won’t go back. I won’t.... Oh! Is there no help?’

‘No!’ she shouted, clapping her hands together frantically. ‘No! You won’t catch me. I won’t go back. I won’t... Oh! Is there no help?’

The sound of her voice frightened her. She heard its desperate echo rouse the impassive wood. She raised her eyes and looked round her. The field was empty. She trembled, and felt cold. The sultry afternoon was over. Dusk{165} and a clammy chill seemed to creep out from among the darkening trees that waited there so stilly. It was as though autumn had come in the place of twilight, and the colourless dark hue of the field dazzled before her eyes. She stood in the middle of the field, waiting for an answer to her cry. There was no answer. And yet the silence that had followed it had been so intent, so deliberate, that it was like a pledge. If any listening power inhabited this place; if any grimly favourable power had been evoked by her cry; then surely a compact had been made, and the pledge irrevocably given.

The sound of her voice scared her. She heard its desperate echo wake the indifferent woods. She lifted her gaze and looked around. The field was empty. She shivered and felt cold. The sultry afternoon had ended. Dusk{165} and a damp chill seemed to seep out from the darkening trees that stood so still. It felt like autumn had taken over twilight, and the lifeless dark shade of the field dazzled in front of her eyes. She stood in the middle of the field, waiting for an answer to her shout. There was no reply. And yet the silence that followed was so intense, so intentional, that it felt like a promise. If any listening force existed in this place; if any grimly favorable power had responded to her call; then surely a pact had been formed, and the promise irrevocably made.

She walked slowly towards the wood. She was incredibly fatigued; she could scarcely drag one foot after the other. Her mind was almost a blank. She had forgotten Titus; she had forgotten the long afternoon of frenzy and bewilderment. Everything was unreal except the silence that followed after her outcry. As she came to the edge of the wood she heard the mutter of heavy foliage. ‘No!’ the woods seemed to say, ‘No! We will not let you go.’

She walked slowly toward the woods. She was extremely tired; she could barely drag one foot in front of the other. Her mind was almost empty. She had forgotten Titus; she had forgotten the long afternoon of chaos and confusion. Everything felt unreal except for the silence that came after her shout. As she reached the edge of the woods, she heard the rustling of thick leaves. ‘No!’ the woods seemed to say, ‘No! We won’t let you go.’

She walked home unheedingly, almost as though she were walking in her sleep. The chance contact with a briar or a tall weed sent drowsy tinglings through her flesh. It was with{166} surprise that she looked down from a hillside and saw the crouched roofs of the village before her.

She walked home without paying much attention, almost like she was sleepwalking. A brush against a thorny plant or a tall weed sent sleepy tingles through her body. She was surprised when she looked down from a hillside and saw the hunched roofs of the village in front of her.

The cottage was dark, Laura remembered that Mrs. Leak had said that she was going out to a lecture at the Congregational Hall that evening. As she unlocked the door she smiled at the thought of having the house all to herself. The passage was cool and smelt of linoleum. She heard the kitchen clock ticking pompously as if it, too, were pleased to have the house to itself. When Mrs. Leak went out and left the house empty, she was careful to lock the door of Laura’s parlour and to put the key under the case with the stuffed owl. Laura slid her fingers into the dark slit between the bottom of the case and the bracket. The key was cold and sleek; she liked the feel of it, and the obliging way it turned in the lock.

The cottage was dark. Laura remembered that Mrs. Leak had mentioned she was going out to a lecture at the Congregational Hall that evening. As she unlocked the door, she smiled at the thought of having the house all to herself. The hallway was cool and smelled like linoleum. She could hear the kitchen clock ticking loudly, as if it, too, was happy to have the house to itself. When Mrs. Leak left and locked the house up, she made sure to lock the door to Laura’s parlor and put the key under the case with the stuffed owl. Laura slid her fingers into the dark gap between the bottom of the case and the bracket. The key was cold and smooth; she liked how it felt and how easily it turned in the lock.

As she entered the room, she sniffed. It smelt a little fusty from being shut up on a warm evening. Her nose distinguished Titus’s tobacco and the hemp agrimony that she had picked the day before. But there was something else—a faintly animal smell which she could not account for. She threw up the rattling window and turned to light the lamp. Under the green shade the glow whitened and steadied itself. It illumi{167}nated the supper-table prepared for her, the shining plates, the cucumber and the radishes, the neat slices of cold veal and the glistening surface of the junket. Nameless and patient, these things had been waiting in the dark, waiting for her to come back and enjoy them. They met her eye with self-possession. They had been sure that she would be pleased to see them. Her spirits shot up, as the flame of the lamp had cleared and steadied itself a moment before. She forgot all possibility of distress. She thought only of the moment, and of the certainty with which she possessed it. In this mood of sleepy exaltation she stood and looked at the supper-table. Long before she had come to Great Mop, the shining plates had come. Four of them, she knew from Mrs. Leak, had been broken; one was too much scorched in the oven to be presentable before her. But these had survived that she might come and eat off them. The quiet cow that had yielded so quietly the milk for her junket had wandered in the fields of Great Mop long before she saw them, or saw them in fancy. The radishes and cucumbers sprang from old and well-established Great Mop families. Her coming had been foreseen, her way had been prepared. Great{168} Mop was infallibly part of her life, and she part of the life of Great Mop. She took up a plate and looked at the maker’s mark. It had come from Stoke-on-Trent, where she had never been. Now it was here, waiting for her to eat off it. ‘The Kings of Tarshish shall bring gifts,’ she murmured.

As she walked into the room, she noticed a musty smell from the warm evening air that had been trapped inside. She could smell Titus’s tobacco and the hemp agrimony she had picked the day before. But there was something else—a faint animal scent that she couldn’t identify. She opened the rattling window and turned to light the lamp. Under the green shade, the light brightened and steadied. It illuminated the supper table set for her, with shining plates, cucumbers, radishes, neat slices of cold veal, and the gleaming surface of the junket. These items, nameless and patient, had been waiting in the dark for her return so she could enjoy them. They seemed to greet her with confidence, as if they knew she would be happy to see them. Her spirits lifted, just like the flame of the lamp showed clarity and steadiness a moment before. She let go of any thoughts of worry and focused solely on the present moment and the certainty she felt within it. In this dreamy happiness, she stood and admired the supper table. Long before she arrived at Great Mop, the shining plates had already been there. She knew from Mrs. Leak that four of them had been broken; one was too burnt in the oven to be used. But these had survived so she could dine on them. The quiet cow that had provided the milk for her junket had roamed the fields of Great Mop long before she ever saw them, or imagined seeing them. The radishes and cucumbers came from established farms in Great Mop. Her arrival had been anticipated, her path prepared. Great Mop was undeniably a part of her life, and she was part of Great Mop’s life. She picked up a plate and examined the maker’s mark. It had been made in Stoke-on-Trent, a place she had never been. Now it was here, waiting for her to use it. “The Kings of Tarshish shall bring gifts,” she murmured.

As she spoke, she felt something move by her foot. She glanced down and saw a small kitten. It crouched by her foot, biting her shoelace, and lashing its tail from side to side. Laura did not like cats; but this creature, so small, so intent, and so ferocious, amused her into kindly feelings. ‘How did you come here? Did you come in through the keyhole?’ she asked, and bent down to stroke it. Scarcely had she touched its hard little head when it writhed itself round her hand, noiselessly clawing and biting, and kicking with its hind legs. She felt frightened by an attack so fierce and irrational, and her fears increased as she tried to shake off the tiny weight. At last she freed her hand, and looked at it. It was covered with fast-reddening scratches, and as she looked she saw a bright round drop of blood ooze out from one of them. Her heart gave a violent leap, and seemed to drop dead in her bosom. She gripped the back of a chair to{169} steady herself and stared at the kitten. Abruptly pacified, it had curled itself into a ball and fallen asleep. Its lean ribs heaved with a rhythmic tide of sleep. As she stared she saw its pink tongue flicker for one moment over its lips. It slept like a suckling.

As she spoke, she felt something move by her foot. She glanced down and saw a small kitten. It crouched by her foot, biting her shoelace and lashing its tail side to side. Laura didn’t like cats, but this little creature, so small, so focused, and so fierce, made her feel unexpectedly warm towards it. "How did you get here? Did you come in through the keyhole?" she asked, bending down to pet it. Just as she touched its hard little head, it twisted around her hand, silently clawing, biting, and kicking with its back legs. She felt scared by such a sudden and wild attack, and her anxiety grew as she tried to shake off the tiny weight. Finally, she managed to free her hand and looked at it. It was covered in quickly reddening scratches, and as she watched, she saw a bright, round drop of blood oozing from one of them. Her heart raced violently and felt like it dropped dead in her chest. She gripped the back of a chair to{169} steady herself and stared at the kitten. Suddenly calm, it had curled into a ball and fallen asleep. Its thin ribs rose and fell with the rhythm of sleep. As she stared, she caught a glimpse of its pink tongue flicking over its lips for just a moment. It slept like a baby.

Not for a moment did she doubt. But so deadly, so complete was the certainty that it seemed to paralyse her powers of understanding, like a snake-bite in the brain. She continued to stare at the kitten, scarcely knowing what it was that she knew. Her heart had begun to beat once more, slowly, slowly; her ears were dizzied with a shrill wall of sound, and her flesh hung on her clammy and unreal. The animal smell that she had noticed when first she entered the room now seemed overwhelmingly rank. It smelt as if walls and floor and ceiling had been smeared with the juice of bruised fennel.

Not for a second did she doubt. But the certainty was so intense and all-consuming that it felt like it was paralyzing her ability to think, like a snakebite to the brain. She kept staring at the kitten, barely aware of what she actually understood. Her heart had started to beat again, slowly, slowly; her ears were buzzing with a sharp wall of sound, and her skin felt clammy and unreal. The animal odor she had noticed when she first entered the room now seemed overwhelmingly foul. It smelled as if the walls, floor, and ceiling had been coated with the juice of crushed fennel.

She, Laura Willowes, in England, in the year 1922, had entered into a compact with the Devil. The compact was made, and affirmed, and sealed with the round red seal of her blood. She remembered the woods, she remembered her wild cry for help, and the silence that had followed it, as though in ratification. She heard again the mutter of heavy foliage, foliage dark{170} and heavy as the wings of night birds. ‘No! No!’—she heard the brooding voice—‘We will not let you go.’ At ease, released from her cares, she had walked homeward. Hedge and coppice and solitary tree, and the broad dust-coloured faces of meadow-sweet and hemlock had watched her go by, knowing. The dusk had closed her in, brooding over her. Every shadow, every deepened grove had observed her from under their brows of obscurity. All knew, all could bear witness. Couched within the wood, sleeping through the long sultry afternoon, had lain the Prince of Darkness; sleeping, or meditating some brooding thunderstorm of his own. Her voice of desperate need had aroused him, his silence had answered her with a pledge. And now, as a sign of the bond between them, he had sent his emissary. It had arrived before her, a rank breath, a harsh black body in her locked room. The kitten was her familiar spirit, that already had greeted its mistress, and sucked her blood.

She, Laura Willowes, in England, in the year 1922, had made a deal with the Devil. The deal was made, confirmed, and sealed with the round red seal of her blood. She remembered the woods, her wild cry for help, and the silence that followed it, as if to confirm it. She heard again the rustling of thick leaves, dark and heavy like the wings of night birds. "No! No!"—she heard the deep voice—"We will not let you go." At ease, free from her worries, she had walked homeward. The hedges, groves, and solitary trees, along with the dusty faces of meadow-sweet and hemlock, had watched her pass, knowing. The dusk surrounded her, brooding over her. Every shadow, every deep grove had watched her from their darkened edges. All knew, all could testify. Lying hidden in the woods, sleeping through the long, sultry afternoon, was the Prince of Darkness; either asleep or pondering some dark storm of his own. Her voice of desperate need had stirred him, and his silence had responded with a promise. And now, as a sign of the bond between them, he had sent his messenger. It arrived before her, a foul breath, a harsh black figure in her locked room. The kitten was her familiar spirit, which had already greeted its mistress and tasted her blood.

She shut her eyes and stood very still, hollowing her mind to admit this inconceivable thought. Suddenly she started. There was a voice in the room.

She closed her eyes and stood completely still, clearing her mind to accept this unbelievable thought. Suddenly, she jumped. There was a voice in the room.

It was the kitten’s voice. It stood beside{171} her, mewing plaintively. She turned, and considered it—her familiar. It was the smallest and thinnest kitten that she had ever seen. It was so young that it could barely stand steadily upon its legs. She caught herself thinking that it was too young to be taken from its mother. But the thought was ridiculous. Probably it had no mother, for it was the Devil’s kitten, and sucked, not milk, but blood. But for all that, it looked very like any other young starveling of its breed. Its face was peaked and its ribs stood out under the dishevelled fluff of its sides. Its mew was disproportionately piercing and expressive. Strange that anything so small and weak should be the Devil’s Officer, plenipotentiary of such a power. Strange that she should stand trembling and amazed before a little rag-and-bone kitten with absurdly large ears.

It was the kitten’s voice. It stood beside{171} her, mewing sadly. She turned and regarded it—her familiar. It was the smallest and thinnest kitten she had ever seen. It was so young that it could barely stand on its legs. She found herself thinking that it was too young to be separated from its mother. But that thought was silly. It probably didn't have a mother, since it was the Devil’s kitten, and fed not on milk, but on blood. Still, it looked just like any other hungry kitten of its kind. Its face was sharp and its ribs stuck out beneath the messy fluff of its sides. Its mew was surprisingly loud and expressive. It was strange that something so small and weak could be the Devil’s Officer, a representative of such power. It was strange that she should stand there, trembling and amazed, before a little scruffy kitten with ridiculously large ears.

Its anxious voice besought her, its pale eyes were fixed upon her face. She could not but feel sorry for anything that seemed so defenceless and castaway. Poor little creature, no doubt it missed the Devil, its warm nest in his shaggy flanks, its play with imp companions. Now it had been sent out on its master’s business, sent out too young into the world, like a slavey from{172} an Institution. It had no one to look to now but her, and it implored her help, as she but a little while ago had implored its Master’s. Her pity overcame her terror. It was no longer her familiar, but a foundling. And it was hungry. Must it have more blood, or would milk do? Milk was more suitable for its tender age. She walked to the table, poured out a saucerful of milk and set it down on the floor. The kitten drank as though it were starving. Crouched by the saucer with dabbled nose, it shut its pale eyes and laid back its ears to lap, while shoots of ecstasy ran down its protuberant spine and stirred the tip of its tail. As Laura watched it the last of her repugnance was overcome. Though she did not like cats she thought that she would like this one. After all, it was pleasant to have some small thing to look after. Many lonely women found great companionship with even quite ordinary cats. This creature could never grow up a beauty, but no doubt it would be intelligent. When it had cleaned the saucer with large final sweeps of its tongue, the kitten looked up at her. ‘Poor lamb!’ she said, and poured out the rest of the milk. It drank less famishingly now. Its tail lay still, its body relaxed, settling down on to the floor,{173} overcome by the peaceful weight within. At last, having finished its meal, it got up and walked round the room, stretching either hind leg in turn as it walked. Then, without a glance at Laura, it lay down, coiled and uncoiled, scratched itself nonchalantly and fell asleep. She watched it awhile and then picked it up, all limp and unresisting, and settled it in her lap. It scarcely opened its eyes, but burrowing once or twice with its head against her knees resumed its slumber.

Its anxious voice pleaded with her, its pale eyes locked onto her face. She couldn’t help but feel sorry for something that seemed so defenseless and abandoned. Poor little creature, it must have missed the Devil, its warm nest in his shaggy fur, and playing with its imp friends. Now it had been sent out on its master’s errand, too young for the world, like a servant from{172} an Institution. It had no one to turn to now but her, and it begged for her help, just as she had recently begged for its Master’s. Her pity overshadowed her fear. It was no longer the familiar creature but a foundling. And it was hungry. Did it need more blood, or would milk suffice? Milk was more appropriate for its delicate age. She went to the table, poured a saucer of milk, and set it down on the floor. The kitten drank as if it were starving. Crouched by the saucer with a wet nose, it shut its pale eyes and laid back its ears to lap, while shivers of delight traveled down its arched spine and flicked the tip of its tail. As Laura watched, the last of her disgust faded away. Although she didn’t particularly like cats, she thought she might like this one. After all, it was nice to have something small to care for. Many lonely women found huge companionship in even ordinary cats. This creature might never grow into a beauty, but it would surely be smart. When it had cleaned the saucer with broad final licks of its tongue, the kitten looked up at her. "Poor little lamb!" she said, and poured out the rest of the milk. It drank less hungrily now. Its tail lay still, its body relaxed, settling down onto the floor,{173} weighed down by a comforting fullness. Finally, after finishing its meal, it got up and walked around the room, stretching each hind leg as it went. Then, without a glance at Laura, it curled up, scratched itself casually, and fell asleep. She watched it for a while, then picked it up, all floppy and compliant, and settled it in her lap. It barely opened its eyes, but after burrowing against her knees a couple of times, it dozed off again.

Nursing the kitten in her lap Laura sat thinking. Her thoughts were of a different colour now. This trustful contentment, this warmth between her knees, lulled her by example. She had never wavered for an instant from her conviction that she had made a compact with the Devil; now she was growing accustomed to the thought. She perceived that throughout the greater part of her life she had been growing accustomed to it; but insensibly, as people throughout the greater part of their lives grow accustomed to the thought of their death. When it comes, it is a surprise to them. But the surprise does not last long, perhaps but for a minute or two. Her surprise also was wearing off. Quite soon, and she would be able to fold{174} her hands upon it, as the hands of the dead are folded upon their surprised hearts. But her heart still beat, beat at its everyday rate, a small regular pulse impelling her momently forward into the new witch life that lay before her. Since her flesh had already accepted the new order of things, and was proceeding so methodically towards the future, it behoved her, so she thought, to try to readjust her spirit.

Nursing the kitten in her lap, Laura sat deep in thought. Her thoughts felt different now. This trusting contentment, this warmth between her knees, relaxed her by example. She had never doubted for a second that she had made a deal with the Devil; now she was getting used to that idea. She realized that for most of her life, she had been getting comfortable with it—much like how people gradually come to terms with the idea of their own death. When it finally arrives, it surprises them. But that surprise doesn't last long, maybe just a minute or two. Her surprise was also fading. Soon enough, she’d be able to fold{174} her hands over it, just like the dead fold their hands over their startled hearts. But her heart still beat, keeping its usual rhythm, a small steady pulse pushing her forward into the new, witchy life that lay ahead. Since her body had already accepted the new reality and was moving methodically toward the future, she thought it was time to try to readjust her spirit.

She raised her eyes, and looked at her room, the green-painted walls with the chairs sitting silently round. She felt herself inhabiting the empty house. Through the unrevealing square of the window her mind looked at the view. About the empty house was the village, and about the village the hills, neighbourly under their covering of night. Room, house, village, hills encircled her like the rings of a fortification. This was her domain, and it was to keep this inviolate that she had made her compact with the Devil. She did not know what the price might be, but she was sure of the purchase. She need not fear Titus now, nor any of the Willoweses. They could not drive her out, or enslave her spirit any more, nor shake her possession of the place she had chosen. While she lived her solitudes were hers inalienably;{175} she and the kitten, the witch and the familiar, would live on at Great Mop, growing old together, and hearing the owls hoot from the winter trees. And after? Mirk! But what else had there ever been? Those green grassy hills in the churchyard were too high to be seen over. What man can stand on their summit and look beyond?

She lifted her gaze and looked around her room, with its green-painted walls and the chairs sitting silently around. She felt like she was living in the empty house. Through the unyielding square of the window, her mind took in the view. Surrounding the empty house was the village, and around the village, the hills stood together under the cover of night. The room, the house, the village, and the hills surrounded her like the walls of a fortress. This was her realm, and it was to keep this untouched that she had made her deal with the Devil. She didn’t know what the cost would be, but she was certain about the gain. She didn't have to fear Titus now, or any of the Willoweses. They couldn’t drive her away, or imprison her spirit anymore, nor could they shake her sense of belonging to the place she had chosen. As long as she lived, her solitude was unshakeable; she and the kitten, the witch and her familiar, would continue to live at Great Mop, growing old together and listening to the owls hoot from the winter trees. And afterward? Mirk! But what else had there ever been? Those green grassy hills in the churchyard were too tall to see over. What man can stand on their peak and look beyond?

She felt neither fear nor disgust. A witch of but a few hours’ standing she rejected with the scorn of the initiate all the bugaboo surmises of the public. She looked with serene curiosity at the future, and saw it but little altered from what she had hoped and planned. If she had been called upon to decide in cold blood between being an aunt and being a witch, she might have been overawed by habit and the cowardice of compunction. But in the moment of election, under the stress and turmoil of the hunted Lolly as under a covering of darkness, the true Laura had settled it all unerringly. She had known where to turn. She had been like the girl in the fairy tale whose godmother gave her a little nutshell box and told her to open it in the hour of utter distress. Unsurmised by others, and half forgotten by the girl, the little nutshell box abided its time; and in the hour of utter distress{176} it opened of itself. So, unrealised, had Laura been carrying her talisman in her pocket. She was a witch by vocation. Even in the old days of Lady Place the impulse had stirred in her. What else had set her upon her long solitary walks, her quests for powerful and forgotten herbs, her brews and distillations? In London she had never had the heart to take out her still. More urgent for being denied this innocent service, the ruling power of her life had assaulted her with dreams and intimations, calling her imagination out from the warm safe room to wander in darkened fields and by desolate sea-bords, through marshes and fens, and along the outskirts of brooding woods. It had haled her to Wapping and to the Jews’ Burying Ground, and then, ironically releasing her, had left her to mourn and find her way back to Apsley Terrace. How she had come to Great Mop she could not say; whether it was of her own will, or whether, exchanging threatenings and mockeries for sweet persuasions, Satan had at last taken pity upon her bewilderment, leading her by the hand into the flower-shop in the Moscow Road; but from the moment of her arrival there he had never been far off. Sure of her—she supposed—he had done little for{177} nine months but watch her. Near at hand but out of sight the loving huntsman couched in the woods, following her with his eyes. But all the time, whether couched in the woods or hunting among the hills, he drew closer. He was hidden in the well when she threw in the map and the guide-book. He sat in the oven, teaching her what power she might have over the shapes of men. He followed her and Mr. Saunter up and down between the henhouses. He was nearest of all upon the night when she climbed Cubbey Ridge, so near then that she acknowledged his presence and was afraid. That night, indeed, he must have been within a hand’s-breadth of her. But her fear had kept him at bay, or else he had not chosen to take her just then, preferring to watch until he could overcome her mistrust and lure her into his hand. For Satan is not only a huntsman. His interest in mankind is that of a skilful and experienced naturalist. Even human sportsmen at the end of their span sometimes declare that to potter about in the woods is more amusing than to sit behind a butt and shoot driven grouse. And Satan, who has hunted from eternity, a little jaded moreover by the success of his latest organised Flanders battue, might well feel that{178} his interest in a Solitary Snipe like Laura was but sooner or later to measure the length of her nose. Yet hunt he must; it is his destiny, and whether he hunts with a gun or a butterfly net, sooner or later the chase must end. All finalities, whether good or evil, bestow a feeling of relief; and now, understanding how long the chase had lasted, Laura felt a kind of satisfaction at having been popped into the bag.

She felt neither fear nor disgust. A witch of just a few hours, she dismissed with the disdain of a newcomer all the crazy rumors from the public. She looked ahead with calm curiosity and saw her future only slightly different from what she had hoped and planned. If she had been forced to choose, without emotion, between being an aunt and being a witch, she might have been intimidated by habit and the guilt of her conscience. But in that moment of choice, under the pressure and chaos of the hunted Lolly and the cover of darkness, the true Laura had made the decision effortlessly. She knew where to go. She was like the girl in the fairy tale whose fairy godmother gave her a small nutshell box and told her to open it in her moment of greatest distress. Unnoticed by others and almost forgotten by the girl, the little nutshell box waited for the right time; and in the moment of true distress{176}, it opened by itself. In the same way, Laura had been unknowingly carrying her own talisman in her pocket. She was a witch by nature. Even back in the old days of Lady Place, that urge had been stirring inside her. What else had driven her on her long solitary walks, her quests for powerful and ancient herbs, her potions and concoctions? In London, she had never dared to bring out her still. The more she was denied this innocent pursuit, the stronger the guiding force of her life urged her with dreams and hints, calling her imagination out from the warm, safe space to explore dark fields and lonely shorelines, through marshes and fenlands, and along the edges of somber woods. It had dragged her to Wapping and to the Jewish Burial Ground, and then, ironically releasing her, left her to grieve and find her way back to Apsley Terrace. How she ended up in Great Mop she could not say; whether it was by her own choice, or whether, trading threats and mockery for gentle persuasion, Satan had finally taken pity on her confusion and led her by the hand into the flower shop on Moscow Road; but from the moment she arrived there he had never been far away. Confident of her—at least she thought so—he had spent the last nine months just watching her. Close by but out of sight, the caring huntsman stayed hidden in the woods, following her with his gaze. But all along, whether hidden in the woods or stalking in the hills, he drew closer. He was concealed in the well when she tossed in the map and the guidebook. He was present in the oven, teaching her what power she might hold over men. He followed her and Mr. Saunter back and forth between the henhouses. He was nearest of all on the night she climbed Cubbey Ridge, so close then that she sensed his presence and felt afraid. That night, he must have been within an arm's reach of her. But her fear kept him at bay, or perhaps he simply chose not to take her then, preferring to wait until he could overcome her suspicion and draw her into his grasp. Because Satan is not just a huntsman. His interest in humanity is that of a skilled and experienced naturalist. Even seasoned human hunters sometimes admit that wandering in the woods is more enjoyable than sitting behind a blind and shooting driven grouse. And Satan, who has hunted since time began, perhaps a bit weary from the success of his latest organized hunt in Flanders, might well think that{178} his interest in a Solitary Snipe like Laura was simply a matter of time before measuring the length of her nose. Yet he must hunt; it is his fate, and whether he hunts with a gun or a butterfly net, eventually the chase must come to an end. All conclusions, whether good or evil, bring a sense of relief; and now, realizing how long the chase had lasted, Laura felt a sense of satisfaction at being caught.

She was distracted from these interesting thoughts by the sounds of footsteps. The kitten heard them too, and sat up, yawning. The Leaks coming back from their lecture, thought Laura. But it was Titus. Inserting his head and shoulders through the window he asked if he could come in and borrow some milk.

She was pulled away from these fascinating thoughts by the sound of footsteps. The kitten noticed them as well and sat up, yawning. It's the Leaks coming back from their lecture, Laura thought. But it was Titus. Leaning his head and shoulders through the window, he asked if he could come in and borrow some milk.

‘I haven’t any milk,’ said Laura, ‘but come in all the same.’

‘I don’t have any milk,’ Laura said, ‘but come in anyway.’

She began to tickle the kitten behind the ears in order to reassure it. By lamplight Titus’s head seemed even nearer to the ceiling, it was a relief to her sense of proportion when he sat down. His milk, he explained, the jugful which Mrs. Garland left on the sitting-room table for his nightly Ovaltine, had curdled into a sort of unholy junket. This he attributed to popular education, and the spread of science among{179} dairy farmers; in other words, Mr. Dodbury had overdone the preservative.

She started to tickle the kitten behind the ears to comfort it. Under the lamplight, Titus's head looked even closer to the ceiling, so it was a relief to her sense of proportion when he sat down. He explained that the jug of milk Mrs. Garland had left on the sitting-room table for his nightly Ovaltine had turned into a sort of strange curdled mess. He blamed this on popular education and the spread of science among{179}dairy farmers; in other words, Mr. Dodbury had used too much preservative.

‘I don’t think it’s science,’ said Laura. ‘More likely to be the weather. It was very sultry this afternoon.’

‘I don’t think it’s science,’ Laura said. ‘It’s probably just the weather. It was really humid this afternoon.’

‘I saw you starting out. I had half a mind to come with you, but it was too hot to be a loving nephew. Where did you go?’

‘I saw you leave. I was kind of tempted to go with you, but it was too hot to be a caring nephew. Where did you go?’

‘Up to the windmill.’

"To the windmill."

‘Did you find the wind?’

‘Did you catch the wind?’

‘No.’

'No.'

‘You weren’t going in the direction of the windmill when I saw you.’

‘You weren't heading towards the windmill when I saw you.’

‘No. I changed my mind. About the milk,’ she continued (Titus had come for milk. Perhaps, being reminded that he had come in vain, he would go. She was growing sleepy): ‘I’m sorry, but I have none left. I gave it all to the kitten.’

‘No. I changed my mind. About the milk,’ she continued (Titus had come for milk. Maybe, realizing he had come for nothing, he would leave. She was getting sleepy): ‘I’m sorry, but I have none left. I gave it all to the kitten.’

‘I’ve been remarking the kitten. He’s new, isn’t he? You ugly little devil!’

‘I’ve been watching the kitten. He’s new, isn’t he? You little ugly devil!’

The kitten lay on her knees quite quietly. It regarded Titus with its pale eyes, and blinked indifferently. It was only waiting for him to go, Laura thought, to fall asleep again.

The kitten lay on her lap quietly. It looked at Titus with its light-colored eyes and blinked without a care. Laura thought it was just waiting for him to leave so it could fall asleep again.

‘Where has it come from? A present from the water-butt?{180}

‘Where did it come from? A gift from the rain barrel?{180}

‘I don’t know. I found it here when I came back for supper.’

‘I don’t know. I found it here when I got back for dinner.’

‘It’s a plain-headed young Grimalkin. Still, I should keep it if I were you. It will bring you luck.’

‘It’s just a plain-looking young cat. Still, I’d keep it if I were you. It will bring you good luck.’

‘I don’t think one has much option about keeping a cat,’ said Laura. ‘If it wants to stay with me it shall.’

‘I don’t think you have much choice when it comes to keeping a cat,’ said Laura. ‘If it wants to stay with me, it will.’

‘It looks settled enough. Do keep it, Aunt Lolly. A woman looks her best with a cat on her knees.’

‘It seems pretty settled. Please keep it, Aunt Lolly. A woman looks her best with a cat in her lap.’

Laura bowed.

Laura bowed.

‘What will you call it?’

"What will you name it?"

Into Laura’s memory came a picture she had seen long ago in one of the books at Lady Place. The book was about the persecution of the witches, and the picture was a woodcut of Matthew Hopkins the witch-finder. Wearing a large hat he stood among a coven of witches, bound cross-legged upon their stools. Their confessions came out of their mouths upon scrolls. ‘My imp’s name is Ilemauzar,’ said one; and another imp at the bottom of the page, an alert, ill-favoured cat, so lean and muscular that it looked like a skinned hare, was called Vinegar Tom.

Into Laura’s memory came a picture she had seen long ago in one of the books at Lady Place. The book was about the persecution of witches, and the picture was a woodcut of Matthew Hopkins, the witch-finder. Wearing a large hat, he stood among a group of witches, tied cross-legged on their stools. Their confessions came out of their mouths, written on scrolls. “My imp’s name is Ilemauzar,” said one; and another imp at the bottom of the page, an alert, unattractive cat, so lean and muscular that it looked like a skinned hare, was named Vinegar Tom.

‘I shall call it Vinegar,’ she answered.{181}

‘I’ll call it Vinegar,’ she replied.{181}

‘Vinegar!’ said Titus. ‘How do you like your name?’

‘Vinegar!’ said Titus. ‘How do you feel about your name?’

The kitten pricked up its ears. It sprang from Laura’s knee and began to fence with Titus’s shadow, feinting and leaping back. Laura watched it a little apprehensively, but it did him no harm. It had awakened in a playful frame of mind after its long sleep, that was all. When Titus had departed it followed Laura to her bedroom, and as she undressed it danced round her, patting at her clothes as they fell.

The kitten perked up its ears. It jumped off Laura’s knee and started to playfully bat at Titus’s shadow, pretending to leap back. Laura watched a bit nervously, but it didn’t harm him. It had woken up in a playful mood after its long nap, that’s all. When Titus left, it followed Laura to her bedroom, and as she undressed, it pranced around her, swatting at her clothes as they dropped.

In the morning the kitten roused her by mewing to be let out. She awoke from a profound and dreamless sleep. It took her a little time to realise that she had a kitten in her bedroom, a kitten of no ordinary kind. However it was behaving quite like an ordinary kitten now, so she got out of bed and let it out by the back door. It was early; no one was stirring. The kitten disappeared with dignity among the cabbages, and Laura turned her thoughts backward to the emotions of overnight. She tried to recall them, but could not; she could only recall the fact that overnight she had felt them. The panic that then had shaken her flesh was no more actual than a last winter’s gale. It had been violent enough while it lasted, an{182} invisible buffeting, a rending of life from its context. But now her memory presented it to her as a cold slab of experience, like a slab of pudding that had lain all night solidifying in the larder. This was no matter. Her terror had been an incident; it had no bearing upon her future, could she now recall it to life it would have no message for her. But she regretted her inability to recapture the mood that had followed upon it, when she sat still and thought so wisely about Satan. Those meditations had seemed to her of profound import. She had sat at her Master’s feet, as it were, admitted to intimacy, and gaining the most valuable insight into his character. But that was gone too. Her thoughts, recalled, seemed to be of the most commonplace nature, and she felt that she knew very little about the Devil.

In the morning, the kitten woke her up by meowing to be let out. She came out of a deep, dreamless sleep. It took her a moment to realize she had a kitten in her bedroom, one that was no ordinary kitten. However, it was acting just like any other kitten now, so she got out of bed and let it out through the back door. It was early; no one else was awake. The kitten slipped away proudly among the cabbages, and Laura began to think back to the emotions she had felt during the night. She tried to remember them, but she couldn’t; all she could recall was the fact that she had felt them. The panic that had struck her was no more real than a last winter storm. It had been intense while it lasted, an invisible force tossing her around, tearing life away from its context. But now her memory presented it as a cold, hard slab of experience, like a piece of pudding that had sit all night solidifying in the pantry. This was not a problem. Her fear had been just an incident; it had no impact on her future, and if she could somehow bring it back to life, it would have no message for her. But she wished she could capture again the mood that had followed it when she sat quietly and thought so wisely about Satan. Those reflections had seemed very important to her. She felt like she had sat at her Master’s feet, allowed into intimacy, and gained valuable insight into his character. But that was gone too. Her recalled thoughts seemed quite ordinary, and she felt that she knew very little about the Devil.

Meanwhile there was the kitten, an earnest that she should know more.

Meanwhile, there was the kitten, a sign that she should learn more.

‘Vinegar!’ she called, and heard its answer, a drumming scramble among the cabbage leaves. She wished that Vinegar would impart some of his mind to her instead of being so persistently and genially kittenish. But he was a familiar, no doubt of it. And she was a witch, the inheritrix of aged magic, spells rubbed smooth{183} with long handling, and the mistress of strange powers that got into Titus’s milk-jug. For no doubt that was the beginning, and a very good beginning, too. Well begun is half-done; she could see Titus bending over his suit-case. The Willowes tradition was very intolerant of pease under its mattress.

‘Vinegar!’ she called, and heard him responding with a lively rustling among the cabbage leaves. She wished Vinegar would share some of his intelligence with her instead of being so relentlessly playful and affectionate. But he was definitely a companion. And she was a witch, the heir to ancient magic, spells worn smooth from years of use, and the master of peculiar powers that somehow ended up in Titus’s milk jug. No doubt that was the start of it all, and a pretty good start at that. Well begun is half-done; she could see Titus leaning over his suitcase. The Willowes tradition was very strict about peas hiding under its mattress.{183}

Though she tried to think clearly about the situation—grapple, she remembered, had been Caroline’s unpleasantly strenuous word—her attention kept sidling off to other things: the sudden oblique movements of the water-drops that glistened on the cabbage leaves, or the affinity between the dishevelled brown hearts of the sunflowers and Mrs. Leak’s scrubbing-brush, propped up on the kitchen window-sill. It must have rained heavily during the night. The earth was moist and swelled, and the air so fresh that it made her yawn. Her limbs were heavy, and the contentment of the newly-awakened was upon her. All night she had bathed in nothingness, and now she was too recently emerged from that absolving tide to take much interest in what lay upon its banks. Her eyelids began to droop, and calling the kitten she went back to bed again and soon fell asleep.{184}

Though she tried to think clearly about the situation—"grapple," she remembered, had been Caroline’s unpleasantly strenuous word—her attention kept wandering to other things: the sudden, glistening movements of the water drops on the cabbage leaves, or the connection between the messy brown centers of the sunflowers and Mrs. Leak’s scrubbing brush, which was propped up on the kitchen windowsill. It must have rained heavily during the night. The ground was damp and swollen, and the air felt so fresh it made her yawn. Her limbs felt heavy, and she had that contentment that comes with just waking up. All night she had floated in emptiness, and now she was too newly out of that comforting tide to care much about what lay on its shores. Her eyelids started to droop, and calling for the kitten, she went back to bed and soon fell asleep.{184}

She was asleep when Mrs. Leak brought her morning tea.

She was sleeping when Mrs. Leak brought her morning tea.

Mrs. Leak said: ‘Did the thunder keep you awake, miss?’

Mrs. Leak said, “Did the thunder keep you up, miss?”

Laura shook her head. ‘I never even heard it.’

Laura shook her head. “I never even heard it.”

Mrs. Leak looked much astonished. ‘It’s well to have a good conscience,’ she remarked.

Mrs. Leak looked really surprised. “It's good to have a clear conscience,” she said.

Laura stretched herself, sat up in bed, and began to tell Mrs. Leak about the kitten. This seemed to be her real awakening. The other was a dream.

Laura stretched herself, sat up in bed, and started to tell Mrs. Leak about the kitten. This felt like her true awakening. The other one was just a dream.

Mrs. Leak was quite prepared to welcome the kitten; that was, provided her old Jim made no unpleasantness. Jim was not Mr. Leak, but a mottled marmalade cat, very old and rather shabby. Laura could not imagine him making any unpleasantness, but Mrs. Leak estimated his character rather differently. Jim thought himself quite a Great I Am, she said.

Mrs. Leak was ready to welcome the kitten, as long as her old Jim didn’t cause any trouble. Jim wasn’t Mr. Leak; he was a scruffy, old, mottled marmalade cat. Laura couldn’t picture him causing any issues, but Mrs. Leak had a different view of his personality. She said Jim considered himself quite the Great I Am.

After breakfast Laura and Vinegar were called into the kitchen for the ceremony of introduction. Jim was doing a little washing. His hind leg was stuck straight up, out of the way, while he attended to the pit of his stomach. Nothing could have been more suitable than Vinegar’s modest and deferential approach. Jim gave him one look and went on licking. Mrs.{185} Leak said that all would be well between them; Jim always kept himself to himself, but she could see that the old cat had taken quite a fancy to Miss Willowes’s kitten. She promised Vinegar some of Jim’s rabbit for dinner. Mrs. Leak did not hold the ordinary view of country people that cats must fend for themselves. ‘They’re as thoughtful as we,’ she said. ‘Why should they eat mouse unless they want to?’ She was continually knocking at the parlour door with tit-bits for Vinegar, but she was scrupulous that Laura should bestow them with her own hand.

After breakfast, Laura and Vinegar were called into the kitchen for the introduction ceremony. Jim was doing a bit of washing. His back leg was stuck straight up, out of the way, while he took care of his stomach. Nothing could have been more fitting than Vinegar’s modest and respectful approach. Jim glanced at him once and continued licking. Mrs. {185} Leak said everything would be fine between them; Jim always kept to himself, but she noticed that the old cat had taken quite a liking to Miss Willowes’s kitten. She promised Vinegar some of Jim’s rabbit for dinner. Mrs. Leak didn’t share the typical belief of rural folks that cats should fend for themselves. “They’re just as thoughtful as we are,” she said. “Why should they eat mice unless they want to?” She constantly knocked at the parlor door with little treats for Vinegar, but she made sure that Laura was the one to give them.

Since Titus had come to Great Mop Laura had seen little of Mrs. Leak. Mrs. Leak knew what good manners were; she had not been a housemaid at Lazzard Court for nothing. Taken separately, either Titus or his aunt might be human beings, but in conjunction they became gentry. Mrs. Leak remembered her position and withdrew to it, firmly. Laura saw this and was sorry. She made several attempts to persuade Mrs. Leak out from behind her white apron, but nothing came of them, and she knew that while Titus was in the village nothing would. Not that Mrs. Leak did not like Titus; she approved of him highly; and it was exactly her approval that made her barricade of respect{186} so insuperable. But where Laura had failed, the kitten succeeded. From the moment that Jim sanctioned her kindly opinion of him, Mrs. Leak began to thaw. Laura knew better than to make a fuss over this turn in the situation; she took a leaf out of the Devil’s book and lay low, waiting for a decisive advance; and presently it came. Mrs. Leak asked if Miss Willowes would care to come out for a stroll one evening; it was pleasant to get a breath of air before bedtime. Miss Willowes would like nothing better; that very evening would suit her if Mrs. Leak had nothing else to do. Mrs. Leak said that she would get the washing-up done as soon as possible, and after that she would be at Miss Willowes’s disposal. However, it was nearly half-past ten before Mrs. Leak knocked on the parlour door. Laura had ceased to expect her, supposing that Mr. Leak or some household accident had claimed her, but she was quite as ready to go out for a walk as to go to bed, and Mrs. Leak made no reference to the lateness of the hour. Indeed, according to the Great Mop standard, the hour was not particularly late. Although the night was dark, Laura noticed that quite a number of the inhabitants were standing about in the street.{187}

Since Titus had arrived at Great Mop, Laura had seen little of Mrs. Leak. Mrs. Leak knew what proper manners were; she hadn't been a housemaid at Lazzard Court for nothing. Taken alone, either Titus or his aunt could be seen as decent people, but together they represented high society. Mrs. Leak remembered her status and stuck to it firmly. Laura noticed this and felt regret. She tried several times to coax Mrs. Leak out from behind her white apron, but nothing worked, and she understood that while Titus was around, nothing would change. Not that Mrs. Leak disliked Titus; on the contrary, she thought very highly of him. Ironically, it was exactly her approval that made her wall of respect so impenetrable. But where Laura had failed, the kitten succeeded. From the moment Jim endorsed her positive view of him, Mrs. Leak started to warm up. Laura wisely decided not to make a big deal out of this change; she took a page from the Devil’s playbook and kept a low profile, waiting for a significant move, which eventually came. Mrs. Leak asked if Miss Willowes would like to go for a walk one evening; it was nice to get some fresh air before bed. Miss Willowes couldn't have asked for anything better; that very evening would work for her if Mrs. Leak was free. Mrs. Leak replied that she would finish the washing-up as quickly as possible and then be at Miss Willowes's service. However, it was nearly half-past ten when Mrs. Leak knocked on the parlor door. Laura had stopped expecting her, thinking that Mr. Leak or some household mishap had detained her, but she was as ready to go out for a walk as she was to go to bed, and Mrs. Leak didn’t mention how late it was. In fact, according to the Great Mop standards, it wasn’t particularly late. Although the night was dark, Laura noticed that quite a few residents were standing around in the street.{187}

They walked down the road in silence as far as the milestone, and turned into the track that went up the hillside and past the wood. Others had turned that way also. The gate stood open, and voices sounded ahead. It was then that Laura guessed the truth, and turned to her companion.

They walked down the road quietly until they reached the milestone, then turned onto the path that went up the hill and by the woods. Others had gone that way too. The gate was open, and they could hear voices ahead. That’s when Laura figured it out and turned to her companion.

‘Where are you taking me?’ she said. Mrs. Leak made no answer, but in the darkness she took hold of Laura’s hand. There was no need for further explanation. They were going to the Witches’ Sabbath. Mrs. Leak was a witch too; a matronly witch like Agnes Sampson, she would be Laura’s chaperone. The night was full of voices. Padding rustic footsteps went by them in the dark. When they had reached the brow of the hill a faint continuous sound, resembling music, was borne towards them by the light wind. Laura remembered how young Billy Thomas, suffering from toothache, had played all night upon his mouth-organ. She laughed. Mrs. Leak squeezed her hand.

‘Where are you taking me?’ she asked. Mrs. Leak didn’t reply, but in the dark, she took hold of Laura’s hand. No further explanation was needed. They were heading to the Witches’ Sabbath. Mrs. Leak was a witch too; like Agnes Sampson, she would be Laura’s chaperone. The night was filled with voices. Soft footsteps passed by them in the dark. When they reached the top of the hill, a faint, continuous sound that resembled music carried towards them on the light wind. Laura remembered how young Billy Thomas, suffering from a toothache, had played his mouth organ all night. She laughed. Mrs. Leak squeezed her hand.

The meeting-place was some way off, by the time they reached it Laura’s eyes had grown accustomed to the darkness. She could see a crowd of people walking about in a large field; lights of some sort were burning under a hedge,{188} and one or two paper garlands were looped over the trees. When she first caught sight of them, the assembled witches and warlocks seemed to be dancing, but now the music had stopped and they were just walking about. There was something about their air of disconnected jollity which reminded Laura of a Primrose League gala and fête. A couple of bullocks watched the Sabbath from an adjoining field.

The meeting spot was a bit further away, but by the time they got there, Laura's eyes had adjusted to the darkness. She could make out a crowd of people wandering around in a large field; some lights were glowing under a hedge,{188} and a couple of paper decorations were draped over the trees. When she first saw them, the gathered witches and warlocks looked like they were dancing, but now the music had stopped and they were just strolling around. There was something about their carefree vibe that reminded Laura of a Primrose League gala and fair. A couple of cattle were observing the gathering from a neighboring field.

Laura was denied the social gift, she had never been good at enjoying parties. But this, she hoped, would be a different and more exhilarating affair. She entered the field in a most propitious frame of mind, which not even Mr. Gurdon, wearing a large rosette like a steward’s and staring rudely and searchingly at each comer before he allowed them to pass through the gate, was able to check.

Laura was never good at enjoying parties; she felt she was missing out on the social life. But this time, she hoped it would be a different and more exciting experience. She walked into the event with a very positive mindset that even Mr. Gurdon—who was wearing a large rosette like a steward and rudely and scrutinizingly staring at everyone before letting them through the gate—couldn't dampen.

‘Old Goat!’ exclaimed Mrs. Leak in a voice of contemptuous amusement after they had passed out of Mr. Gurdon’s hearing. ‘He thinks he can boss us here, just as he does in the village.’

‘Old Goat!’ Mrs. Leak exclaimed with a tone of mocking laughter after they were out of Mr. Gurdon’s earshot. ‘He thinks he can control us here, just like he does in the village.’

‘Is Mr. Jones here?’ inquired Laura.

‘Is Mr. Jones here?’ Laura asked.

Mrs. Leak shook her head and laughed.

Mrs. Leak shook her head and laughed.

‘Mr. Gurdon doesn’t allow him to come.’

‘Mr. Gurdon won’t let him come.’

‘I suppose he doesn’t think it suitable for a clergyman.{189}

‘I guess he doesn’t think it’s appropriate for a clergyman.{189}

Perhaps it was as well that Mr. Gurdon had such strict views. In spite of the example of Mr. Lowis, that old reading parson, it might be a little awkward if Mr. Jones were allowed to attend the Sabbath.

Perhaps it was just as well that Mr. Gurdon had such strict views. Despite the example of Mr. Lowis, that old reading parson, it could be a bit awkward if Mr. Jones were permitted to attend the Sabbath.

But that apparently was not the reason. Mrs. Leak was beginning to explain when she broke off abruptly, coughed in a respectful way, and dropped a deep curtsey. Before them stood an old lady, carrying herself like a queen, and wearing a mackintosh that would have disgraced a tinker’s drab. She acknowledged Mrs. Leak’s curtsey with an inclination of the head, and turned to Laura,

But that didn’t seem to be the reason. Mrs. Leak was starting to explain when she suddenly stopped, coughed politely, and dropped a deep curtsy. In front of them stood an elderly woman, carrying herself like royalty, and wearing a mackintosh that would have embarrassed a beggar. She acknowledged Mrs. Leak’s curtsy with a nod of her head and turned to Laura,

‘I am Miss Larpent. And you, I think, must be Miss Willowes.’

‘I’m Miss Larpent. And you must be Miss Willowes.’

The voice that spoke was clear as a small bell and colourless as if time had bleached it of every human feeling save pride. The hand that rested in Laura’s was light as a bird’s claw; a fine glove encased it like a membrane, and through the glove Laura felt the slender bones and the sharp-faceted rings.

The voice that spoke was as clear as a small bell and as colorless as if time had drained it of every human emotion except pride. The hand that rested in Laura’s was as light as a bird’s claw; a delicate glove covered it like a thin skin, and through the glove, Laura felt the slender bones and sharp rings.

‘Long ago,’ continued Miss Larpent, ‘I had the pleasure of meeting your great-uncle, Commodore Willowes.’

‘A long time ago,’ continued Miss Larpent, ‘I had the pleasure of meeting your great-uncle, Commodore Willowes.’

Good heavens, thought Laura in a momentary{190} confusion, was great-uncle Demetrius a warlock? For Miss Larpent was so perfectly witchlike that it seemed scarcely possible that she should condescend to ordinary gentlemen.

Goodness, Laura thought in a brief{190} moment of confusion, was great-uncle Demetrius a warlock? Because Miss Larpent was so completely witchy that it hardly seemed likely she would lower herself to everyday gentlemen.

Apparently Miss Larpent could read Laura’s thoughts.

Apparently, Miss Larpent could read Laura's mind.

‘At Cowes,’ she added, reassuringly.

"At Cowes," she added, comforting.

Laura raised her eyes to answer, but Miss Larpent had disappeared. Where she had stood, stood Miss Carloe, mincing and bridling, as though she would usurp the other’s gentility. Over her face she wore a spotted veil. Recognising Laura she put on an air of delighted surprise and squeaked like a bat, and immediately she too edged away and was lost in the darkness.

Laura looked up to respond, but Miss Larpent was gone. In her place stood Miss Carloe, prancing and preening as if trying to steal the other’s elegance. She had a spotted veil over her face. When she saw Laura, she pretended to be delighted and squeaked like a bat, then quickly moved away and disappeared into the darkness.

Then a young man whom she did not know came up to Laura and put his arm respectfully round her waist. She found herself expected to dance. She could not hear any music, but she danced as best she could, keeping time to the rhythm of his breath upon her cheek. Their dance was short, she supposed she had not acquitted herself to her partner’s satisfaction, for after a few turns he released her, and left her standing by the hedge. Not a word had passed between them. Laura felt that she ought to say something, but she could not think of{191} a suitable opening. It was scarcely possible to praise the floor.

Then a young man she didn't know came up to Laura and put his arm respectfully around her waist. She realized she was expected to dance. She couldn't hear any music, but she danced as best she could, keeping time to the rhythm of his breath on her cheek. Their dance was short; she figured she hadn't impressed her partner, because after a few turns, he let go of her and left her standing by the hedge. Not a word had passed between them. Laura felt like she should say something, but she couldn't think of a suitable opening. It was hardly appropriate to compliment the floor.

A familiar discouragement began to settle upon her spirits. In spite of her hopes she was not going to enjoy herself. Even as a witch, it seemed, she was doomed to social failure, and her first Sabbath was not going to open livelier vistas than were opened by her first ball. She remembered her dancing days in Somerset, Hunt Balls, and County Balls in the draughty Assembly Rooms. With the best intentions she had never managed to enjoy them. The first hour was well enough, but after that came increasing listlessness and boredom; the effort, when one danced again with the same partner, not to say the same things, combined with the obligation to say something rather like them, the control of eyelids, the conversion of yawns into smiles, the humbling consciousness that there was nothing to look forward to except the drive home. That was pleasant, and so was the fillip of supper at the drive’s end, and the relief of yielding at last to an unfeigned hunger and sleepiness. But these were by-blow joys, of the delights for which balls are ordained she knew nothing.

A familiar feeling of discouragement began to weigh on her spirits. Despite her hopes, it seemed she wasn't going to have any fun. Even as a witch, she felt doomed to social failure, and her first Sabbath wasn’t going to be any more exciting than her first ball. She remembered her dancing days in Somerset, Hunt Balls, and County Balls in the chilly Assembly Rooms. With the best intentions, she had never really enjoyed them. The first hour was fine, but after that came increasing boredom and restlessness; the effort to avoid repeating the same things with the same partner, coupled with the need to say something somewhat similar, the struggle to keep her eyes open, the turning of yawns into smiles, and the humbling realization that there was nothing to look forward to except the drive home. That part was nice, and so was the treat of supper at the end of the drive, along with the relief of finally giving in to real hunger and tiredness. But these were mere side joys; she knew nothing of the true delights for which balls were meant.

She watched the dancers go by and wondered{192} what the enchantment was which they felt and she could not. What made them come out in the middle of the night, loop paper garlands over the trees, light a row of candles in the ditch, and then, friends and enemies and indifferents, go bumping round on the rough grass? That fatal comparison with the Primrose League recurred to her. She was not entertained, so she blamed the entertainment. But the fault lay with her, she had never been good at parties, she had not got the proper Sabbath-keeping spirit. Miss Larpent was enjoying herself; Laura saw the bonnet whisk past. But doubtless Miss Larpent had enjoyed herself at Cowes.

She watched the dancers pass by and wondered{192} what the magic was that they felt but she couldn’t. What made them come out in the middle of the night, hang paper garlands on the trees, light a row of candles in the ditch, and then, whether they were friends, enemies, or indifferent, dance on the rough grass? That annoying comparison with the Primrose League came to her mind. She wasn’t having fun, so she criticized the entertainment. But the issue was with her; she had never been good at parties, and she didn’t have the right Sunday spirit. Miss Larpent was having a great time; Laura saw the bonnet whisk by. But of course, Miss Larpent must have had a good time at Cowes.

These depressing thoughts were interrupted by red-haired Emily, who came spinning from her partner’s arms, seized hold of Laura and carried her back into the dance. Laura liked dancing with Emily; the pasty-faced and anaemic young slattern whom she had seen dawdling about the village danced with a fervour that annihilated every misgiving. They whirled faster and faster, fused together like two suns that whirl and blaze in a single destruction. A strand of the red hair came undone and brushed across Laura’s face. The contact made her tingle from head to foot. She shut her eyes{193} and dived into obliviousness—with Emily for a partner she could dance until the gunpowder ran out of the heels of her boots. Alas! this happy ending was not to be, for at the height of their performance Emily was snatched away by Mr. Jowl, the horse-doctor. Laura opened her eyes and saw the pale face disappearing in the throng as the moon sinks into the clouds.

These gloomy thoughts were interrupted by red-haired Emily, who spun out of her partner’s arms, grabbed Laura, and pulled her back into the dance. Laura enjoyed dancing with Emily; the pale and awkward girl she had seen lingering around the village danced with a passion that erased all her doubts. They twirled faster and faster, connected like two suns spinning and blazing in a single explosion. A strand of Emily’s red hair came loose and brushed against Laura’s face. The touch sent a shiver through her body. She closed her eyes{193} and lost herself in the moment—with Emily as her partner, she felt like she could dance until the soles of her boots wore out. Unfortunately, this joyful moment wouldn’t last, as Emily was suddenly pulled away by Mr. Jowl, the veterinarian. Laura opened her eyes and saw Emily’s pale face disappearing into the crowd like the moon sinking behind the clouds.

Emily was in great request, and no wonder. Like a torch she was handed on from one to another, and every mutation shook down some more hair. The Sabbath was warming up nicely now, every one was jigging it, even Laura. For a while Mrs. Leak kept up a semblance of chaperonage. Suddenly appearing at Laura’s elbow she would ask her if she were enjoying herself, and glancing at her would slip away before she could answer. Or with vague gestures she indicated some evasively bowing partner, male or female; and silently Laura would give her hand and be drawn into the dance, presently to be relinquished or carried off by some one else.

Emily was in high demand, and it was no surprise. Like a torch, she was passed from one person to another, and with each handoff, some more hair came loose. The Sabbath was heating up nicely now; everyone was dancing, even Laura. For a while, Mrs. Leak maintained the appearance of a chaperone. She would suddenly appear at Laura’s side and ask if she was having fun, glancing at her before slipping away before she could respond. With vague gestures, she would point to some partner, male or female, who was bowing evasively; and silently, Laura would take their hand and be drawn into the dance, soon to be released or taken away by someone else.

The etiquette of a Sabbath appeared to consist of one rule only: to do nothing for long. Partners came and went, figures and conformations were in a continual flux. Sometimes the{194} dancers were coupled, sometimes they jigged in a circle round some specially agile performer, sometimes they all took hands and galloped about the field. Half-way through a very formal quadrille presided over by the Misses Larpent they fell abruptly to playing Fox and Geese. In spite of Mr. Gurdon’s rosette there was no Master of Ceremonies. A single mysterious impulse seemed to govern the company. They wheeled and manœuvred like a flock of starlings.

The etiquette of a Sabbath seemed to have just one rule: to do nothing for a long time. Partners came and went, shapes and formations were always changing. Sometimes the{194} dancers would pair up, other times they would jig in a circle around some particularly agile performer, and sometimes they all held hands and ran around the field. Halfway through a very formal quadrille led by the Misses Larpent, they suddenly started playing Fox and Geese. Despite Mr. Gurdon’s rosette, there was no Master of Ceremonies. A single, mysterious impulse seemed to guide the group. They moved and twisted like a flock of starlings.

After an hour or two of this Laura felt dizzy and bewildered. Taking advantage of the general lack of formality she tore herself from Mr. Gurdon’s arms, not to dance with another, but to slip away and sit quietly in the hedge.

After an hour or two of this, Laura felt dizzy and confused. Taking advantage of the laid-back atmosphere, she pulled away from Mr. Gurdon’s arms, not to dance with someone else, but to sneak away and sit quietly in the hedges.

She wondered where the music came from. She had heard it quite clearly as she came over the hill, but upon entering the field she had lost it. Now as she watched the others she heard it once more. When they neared it grew louder, when they retreated into the darkness it faded with them, as though the sound issued from the dancers themselves, and hung, a droning exhalation, above their heads. It was an odd kind of music, a continuous high shapeless blurr of sound. It was something like mosquitoes in a hot bedroom, and something like a distant{195} threshing machine. But beside this, it had a faintly human quality, a metallic breathing as of trombones marking the measure; and when the dancers took hands and revolved in a leaping circle the music leaped and pounded with them, so much like the steam-organ music of a merry-go-round that for a moment Laura thought that they were riding on horses and dragons, bobbing up and down on crested dragons with heads like cocks, and horses with blood-red nostrils.

She wondered where the music was coming from. She had heard it clearly as she walked over the hill, but once she stepped into the field, it vanished. Now, as she watched the others, she heard it again. When they got closer, it grew louder, and when they moved back into the darkness, it faded away with them, as if the sound came from the dancers themselves and lingered, a buzzing breath, above their heads. It was a strange kind of music, a continuous high, shapeless blur of sound. It reminded her of mosquitoes in a hot bedroom and the distant sound of a threshing machine. Yet, it also had a subtly human quality, like the metallic breath of trombones keeping the beat; and when the dancers joined hands and spun in a jumping circle, the music jumped and pulsed along with them, so much like the steam organ music of a merry-go-round that for a moment Laura imagined they were riding on horses and dragons, bobbing up and down on cresting dragons with cock-like heads and horses with blood-red nostrils.

The candles burnt on in the dry ditch. Though the boughs of the thorn-trees moved above them and grated in the night-wind, the candle flames flowed steadily upwards. Thus lit from below, the dancers seemed of more than human stature, their bodies extending into the darkness as if in emulation of their gigantic upcast shadows. The air was full of the smell of bruised grass.

The candles burned in the dry ditch. Even though the branches of the thorn trees swayed above and rustled in the night wind, the candle flames flickered steadily upward. Bathed in their light, the dancers appeared larger than life, their bodies stretching into the darkness as if trying to match their enormous shadows. The air was thick with the scent of crushed grass.

Mrs. Leak had forgotten Laura now. She was dancing the Highland Schottische with a lean young man whose sleeves were rolled up over his tattooed forearms. The nails in his boots shone in the candle-light, and a lock of hair hung over his eye. Mrs. Leak danced very well. Her feet flickered to and fro as nimbly as a tongue. At the turn of the figure she{196} tripped forward to be caught up and swung round on the young man’s arm. Though her feet were off the ground they twitched with the movements of the dance, and set down again they took up the uninterrupted measure. Laura watched her with admiration. Even at a Witches’ Sabbath Mrs. Leak lost none of her respectability. Her white apron was scarcely crumpled, she was as self-contained as a cat watching a mouse, and her eyes dwelt upon the young man’s face as though she were listening to a sermon.

Mrs. Leak had completely forgotten about Laura. She was dancing the Highland Schottische with a lean young man whose sleeves were rolled up over his tattooed forearms. The nails of his boots gleamed in the candlelight, and a lock of hair fell over his eye. Mrs. Leak was an excellent dancer. Her feet moved back and forth as nimbly as a tongue. At the turn of the figure she{196} tripped forward to be caught and swung around on the young man's arm. Even though her feet were off the ground, they twitched with the movements of the dance, and when they touched down again, they immediately kept the rhythm. Laura watched her with admiration. Even at a Witches' Sabbath, Mrs. Leak maintained her respectability. Her white apron was hardly wrinkled, she was as composed as a cat watching a mouse, and her eyes stayed focused on the young man's face as if she were listening to a sermon.

She preserved her dignity better than some of the others did. Mr. Gurdon stood by himself, stamping his foot and tossing his head, more like the farmer’s bull than ever. Miss Carloe was begging people to look at the hole in her leg where the hedgehog sucked her; and red-haired Emily, half-naked and holding a candle in either hand, danced round a tree, curtseying to it, her mouth fixed in a breathless corpse-like grin.

She maintained her dignity better than some of the others. Mr. Gurdon stood alone, stamping his foot and tossing his head, looking more like the farmer's bull than ever. Miss Carloe was pleading with people to check out the hole in her leg where the hedgehog bit her; and red-haired Emily, half-dressed and holding a candle in each hand, danced around a tree, curtsying to it, her face stuck in a breathless, corpse-like grin.

Miss Minnie and Miss Jane had also changed their demeanour for the worse. They sat a little retired from the dancers, tearing up a cold grouse and gossiping with Mrs. Dewey the midwife. A horrible curiosity stretched their skinny old necks. Miss Minnie had forgotten to gnaw{197} her grouse, she leant forward, her hand covered the lower half of her face to conceal the workings of her mouth. Miss Jane listened as eagerly, and questioned the midwife. But at the answers she turned away with coquettish shudders, pretending to stop her ears, or threatening to slap her sister with a bone.

Miss Minnie and Miss Jane had also gotten worse in their behavior. They sat a bit away from the dancers, tearing into a cold grouse and chatting with Mrs. Dewey, the midwife. A terrible curiosity stretched their thin old necks. Miss Minnie had forgotten to chew her grouse; she leaned forward, covering the lower half of her face with her hand to hide the movement of her mouth. Miss Jane listened intently and asked the midwife questions. But upon hearing the answers, she turned away with flirtatious shudders, pretending to cover her ears or threatening to slap her sister with a bone.

Laura averted her eyes. She wriggled herself a little further into the hedge. Once again the dancers veered away to the further side of the field, their music retreating with them. She hoped they would stay away, for their proximity was disturbing. They aroused in her neither fear nor disgust, but when they came close, and she felt their shadows darkening above her head, a nameless excitement caught hold of her. As they departed, heaviness took its place. She was not in the least sleepy and yet several times she found herself astray from her thoughts, as though she were falling asleep in a train. She wondered what time it was and looked up to consult the stars. But a featureless cloud covered the sky.

Laura turned her gaze away. She squirmed a little deeper into the hedge. Once again, the dancers moved to the far side of the field, their music fading with them. She hoped they would stay away because their presence was unsettling. They didn’t evoke fear or disgust in her, but when they got close and she felt their shadows darkening above her, a nameless thrill took hold of her. As they left, a sense of heaviness filled the space. She wasn't at all tired, yet several times she found her mind drifting, as if she were dozing off on a train. She wondered what time it was and looked up to check the stars. But a blank cloud covered the sky.

Laura resigned herself. There was nothing to do but to wait, though what she waited for she did not know: whether at length Mrs. Leak would come, like a chaperone from the supper-room, and say: ‘Well, my dear, I really{198} must take you home’—or if, suddenly, at the first cock-crow, all the company would rise up in the air, a darkening bevy, and disperse, and she with them.

Laura accepted her situation. There was nothing to do but wait, even though she wasn't sure for what: whether eventually Mrs. Leak would arrive, like a chaperone from the dining room, and say, "Well, my dear, I really{198} must take you home"—or if, suddenly, at the first light of dawn, all the guests would rise up, a dark group, and scatter, taking her with them.

She was roused by a shrill whistle. The others heard it too. Miss Minnie and Miss Jane scrambled up and hurried across the field, outdistancing Mrs. Dewey, who followed them panting for breath and twitching her skirts over the rough ground. The music had stopped. Laura saw all the witches and warlocks jostling each other, and pressing into a circle. She wondered what was happening now. Whatever it was, it seemed to please and excite them a great deal, for she could hear them all laughing and talking at once. Some newcomer, she supposed—for their behaviour was that of welcome. Now the newcomer must be making a speech, for they all became silent: a successful speech, for the silence was broken by acclamations, and bursts of laughter.

She was jolted awake by a loud whistle. The others heard it too. Miss Minnie and Miss Jane quickly got up and rushed across the field, leaving Mrs. Dewey behind, who followed them, out of breath and trying to manage her skirts over the rough ground. The music had stopped. Laura noticed all the witches and warlocks bumping into each other, gathering in a circle. She wondered what was going on now. Whatever it was, it seemed to really please and excite them, because she could hear them all laughing and talking at the same time. She guessed a newcomer had arrived since they were behaving as if they were welcoming someone. Now the newcomer must be making a speech, as everyone fell silent: a successful speech, because the silence was soon followed by cheers and bursts of laughter.

‘Of course!’ said Laura. ‘It must be Satan!’

‘Of course!’ Laura exclaimed. ‘It has to be Satan!’

As she spoke she saw the distant group turn and with one accord begin running towards where she sat. She got up; she felt frightened, for their advance was like a stampede of animals, and she feared that they would knock her down{199} and trample her underfoot. The first runner had already swooped upon her, she felt herself encompassed, caught hold of, and carried forward. Voices addressed her, but she did not understand what was said. She gathered that she was being encouraged and congratulated, as though the neglectful assembly had suddenly decided to make much of the unsuccessful guest. Presently she found herself between Mrs. Leak and red-haired Emily. Each held an arm. Mrs. Leak patted her encouragingly, and Emily whispered rapidly, incoherently, in her ear. They were quite close to the newcomer, Satan, if it were he, who was talking to Miss Minnie and Miss Jane. Laura looked at him. She could see him quite clearly, for those who stood round had taken up the candles to light him. He was standing with his back to her, speaking with great animation to the old ladies, bowing, and fidgeting his feet. As he spoke he threw out his hands, and his whole lean, lithe body seemed to be scarcely withheld from breaking into a dance. Laura saw Miss Jane point at her, and the stranger turned sharply round.

As she talked, she noticed the distant group turn and, in unison, start running towards her. She got up, feeling scared, as their approach was like a stampede of animals, and she worried they might knock her over and trample her. The first runner quickly reached her; she felt herself surrounded, grabbed, and swept along. Voices were calling out to her, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. She sensed they were encouraging her and congratulating her, as if the previously indifferent group had suddenly decided to celebrate the unsuccessful guest. Soon, she found herself between Mrs. Leak and red-haired Emily, each holding one of her arms. Mrs. Leak gave her an encouraging pat, and Emily whispered quickly, almost nonsensically, in her ear. They were pretty close to the newcomer, Satan, if it was him, who was talking to Miss Minnie and Miss Jane. Laura looked at him and could see him clearly since those around had lifted their candles to illuminate him. He had his back to her, animatedly speaking to the older ladies, bowing and shifting on his feet. As he spoke, he gestured with his hands, and his whole lean, agile body seemed on the verge of breaking into a dance. Laura noticed Miss Jane point at her, and the stranger abruptly turned around.

She saw his face. For a moment she thought that he was a Chinaman; then she saw that he was wearing a mask. The candle-light shone{200} full upon it, but so fine and slight was the modelling that scarcely a shadow marked the indentations of cheek and jaw. The narrow eyes, the slanting brows, the small smiling mouth had a vivid innocent inexpressiveness. It was like the face of a very young girl. Alert and immobile the mask regarded her. And she, entranced, stared back at this imitation face that outwitted all perfections of flesh and blood. It was lifeless, lifeless! But below it, in the hollow of the girlish throat, she saw a flicker of life, a small regular pulse, small and regular as though a pearl necklace slid by under the skin. Mincing like a girl, the masked young man approached her, and as he approached the others drew back and left her alone. With secretive and undulating movements he came to her side. The lifeless face was near her own and through the slits in the mask the unseen eyes surveyed her. Suddenly she felt upon her cheeks a cold darting touch. With a fine tongue like a serpent’s he had licked her right cheek, close to the ear. She started back, but found his hands detaining her.

She saw his face. For a moment she thought he was Asian; then she realized he was wearing a mask. The candlelight shone{200} directly on it, but the modeling was so fine and delicate that hardly a shadow marked the contours of his cheek and jaw. The narrow eyes, the slanted brows, and the small smiling mouth had a vivid, innocent blankness. It looked like the face of a very young girl. Alert and still, the mask looked at her. And she, captivated, stared back at this imitation face that surpassed all the flaws of flesh and blood. It was lifeless, completely lifeless! But beneath it, in the hollow of the girlish throat, she noticed a flicker of life, a small, steady pulse, small and regular as if a pearl necklace was moving just beneath the skin. Walking delicately like a girl, the masked young man approached her, and as he did, the others stepped back and left her alone. With secretive, swaying movements, he came to her side. The lifeless face was close to her own, and through the slits in the mask, the unseen eyes examined her. Suddenly, she felt a cold, darting touch on her cheeks. With a tongue as smooth as a serpent’s, he licked her right cheek, near her ear. She recoiled, but found his hands holding her in place.

‘How are you enjoying your first Sabbath, Miss Willowes?’ he said.

‘How are you liking your first Sabbath, Miss Willowes?’ he asked.

‘Not at all,’ answered Laura, and turned her back on him.{201}

‘Not at all,’ Laura replied, turning her back on him.{201}

Without glancing to left or right she walked out of the field, and the dancers made way for her in silence. She was furious at the affront, raging at Satan, at Mrs. Leak, at Miss Larpent, with the unreasoning anger of a woman who has allowed herself to be put in a false position. This was what came of attending Sabbaths, or rather, this was what came of submitting her good sense to politeness. Hours ago her instinct had told her that she was not going to enjoy herself. If she had asserted herself and gone home then, this odious and petty insult would never have happened. But she had stayed on, deferring to a public opinion that was not concerned whether she stayed or went, stayed on just as she used to stay on at balls, stayed on to be treated like a silly girl who at the end of a mechanical flirtation is kissed behind a palm.

Without looking to the left or right, she walked out of the field, and the dancers silently made way for her. She was furious at the insult, raging at Satan, at Mrs. Leak, at Miss Larpent, with the irrational anger of a woman who has let herself be put in a false position. This was the consequence of attending Sabbaths, or rather, this was the result of prioritizing politeness over her common sense. Hours earlier, her intuition had warned her that she wasn’t going to have a good time. If she had stood her ground and gone home then, this annoying and petty insult would never have occurred. But she had stayed, deferring to a public opinion that didn’t care whether she stayed or left, stayed just like she used to at parties, stayed to be treated like a silly girl who, at the end of a mechanical flirtation, gets kissed behind a palm.

Anyway, she was out of it now. Her feet had followed the windings of a little path, which crossed a ditch by a plank bridge: it passed through a belt of woodland, and led her out on to a space of common that sloped away into the darkness. Here she sat down and spread out her palms upon the cool turf.

Anyway, she was done with it now. Her feet had followed the twists of a small path that crossed a ditch on a plank bridge: it went through a patch of woods and brought her out to an open area that sloped down into the darkness. Here she sat down and spread her palms on the cool grass.

She had been insulted and made a mock of. But for all that she did not feel truly humiliated.{202} Rather, she was filled with a delighted and scornful surprise at the ease with which she had avenged her dignity. The mask floated before her eyes, inscrutable as ever, and she thought no more of it than of an egg-shell that she could crush between her finger and thumb. The Powers of Darkness, then, were no more fearful than a herd of bullocks in a field? Once round upon them and the sniffing encumbering horde made off, a scramble of ungainly rumps and foolish tails.

She had been insulted and mocked. But despite that, she didn’t feel truly humiliated.{202} Instead, she was filled with a joyful and scornful surprise at how easily she had restored her dignity. The mask floated in front of her, as unreadable as ever, and she thought no more of it than an eggshell that she could crush between her fingers. So, the Powers of Darkness were no more frightening than a bunch of cattle in a field? Just one look at them and the snorting, clumsy herd would scatter, a mess of awkward rears and silly tails.

It had been a surprising night. And long, endlessly long, and not ended yet. She yawned, and felt hungry. She fancied herself at home, cutting large crumbling slices from the loaf in the cupboard, and spreading them with a great deal of butter and the remains of the shrimp paste. But she did not know where she was, and it was too dark to venture homewards with no sense of direction. She grew impatient with the night and strained her ears for the sound of cock-crow. As if her imperious will had wrenched aside the covering of cloud, a faint glimmer delineated part of the horizon. Moonset or sunrise, westerly or easterly she did not know; but as she watched it doubtfully, thinking that it must be moonset, for it seemed to dwindle{203} rather than increase, a breeze winnowed the air, and looking round her she saw on every side the first beginnings of light.

It had been a surprising night. Long, endlessly long, and still not over. She yawned and felt hungry. She imagined herself at home, cutting big, crumbly slices from the loaf in the cupboard, and slathering them with a lot of butter and the leftovers of the shrimp paste. But she didn’t know where she was, and it was too dark to try to find her way home without any sense of direction. She grew impatient with the night and strained her ears for the sound of a rooster crowing. As if her strong will had pushed the clouds aside, a faint glow appeared on the horizon. She couldn’t tell if it was moonset or sunrise, westerly or easterly; but as she watched it doubtfully, thinking it had to be moonset since it seemed to fade{203} rather than grow, a breeze stirred the air, and looking around her, she saw the first signs of light all around.

Sitting up, her hunger and sleepiness forgotten, and all the disappointments and enigmas of the Sabbath dismissed from her mind, she watched the spectacle of the dawn. Soon she was able to recognise her surroundings, she knew the place well, it was here that she had met the badger. The slope before her was dotted with close-fitting juniper bushes, and presently she saw a rabbit steal out from one of these, twitch its ears, and scamper off. The cloud which covered the sky was no longer a solid thing. It was rising, and breaking up into swirls of vapour that yielded to the wind. The growing day washed them with silver. Every moment the web of cloud seemed to rise higher and higher, as though borne upward by a rising tide of light. The rooks flew up cawing from the wood. Presently she heard the snap of a dead twig. Somebody was astir. Whistling to himself, a man came out of the wood. He walked with a peculiarly slow and easy gait, and he had a stick in his hand, an untrimmed rod pulled from the wood. He switched at the head of a tall thistle, and Laura saw the dew fly off the astonished{204} blossom. Seeing her, he stopped short, as though he did not wish to intrude on her. He showed no surprise that she should be sitting on the hillside, waiting for the sun to rise. She smiled at him, grateful for his good manners, and also quite pleased to see a reasonable being again; and emboldened by this, he smiled also, and approached.

Sitting up, her hunger and sleepiness forgotten, and all the disappointments and mysteries of the Sabbath pushed aside, she watched the dawn unfold. Soon, she recognized her surroundings; she knew this place well, as it was where she had encountered the badger. The slope before her was dotted with dense juniper bushes, and soon she saw a rabbit sneak out from one of them, twitch its ears, and scamper away. The cloud covering the sky was no longer solid. It was rising and breaking into swirls of vapor that surrendered to the wind. The growing day bathed them in silver. With each moment, the layer of cloud seemed to rise higher and higher, as if lifted by a tide of light. The rooks flew up, cawing from the woods. Then she heard the snap of a dead twig. Someone was stirring. Whistling to himself, a man emerged from the forest. He walked with a relaxed, easy pace, carrying a stick in his hand, a natural branch pulled from the woods. He swiped at the top of a tall thistle, and Laura saw the dew fly off the surprised blossom. Upon seeing her, he stopped suddenly, as if he didn’t want to intrude. He showed no surprise at her sitting on the hillside, waiting for the sun to rise. She smiled at him, appreciative of his politeness, and also glad to see another reasonable person; encouraged by this, he smiled back and approached.

‘You are up very early, Miss Willowes.’

‘You’re up really early, Miss Willowes.’

She did not recognise him, but that was no reason why he should not recognise her. She thought he must be a gamekeeper, for he wore gaiters and a corduroy coat. His face was brown and wrinkled, and his teeth were as white and even as a dog’s. Laura liked his appearance. He had a pleasant, rather detached air, which suited well with the early morning. She said:

She didn’t recognize him, but that didn’t mean he shouldn’t recognize her. She figured he must be a gamekeeper, since he wore gaiters and a corduroy coat. His face was tan and wrinkled, and his teeth were as white and straight as a dog’s. Laura liked how he looked. He had a pleasant, somewhat distant vibe that matched the early morning perfectly. She said:

‘I have been up all night.’

"I've been awake all night."

There was no inquisitiveness in his look; and when he expressed the hope that she felt none the worse for it, he spoke without servility or covert amusement.

There was no curiosity in his gaze; and when he said he hoped she felt okay about it, he spoke without being subservient or secretly amused.

‘I liked it very much,’ said Laura. Her regard for truth made her add: ‘Particularly when it began to be light. I was growing rather bored before then.’

“I liked it a lot,” Laura said. Her commitment to honesty made her add: “Especially when it started to get light. I was getting kind of bored before that.”

‘Some ladies would feel afraid,’ said he.{205}

‘Some women might feel scared,’ he said.{205}

‘I’m not afraid when I’m alone,’ she answered. ‘I lived in the country when I was a girl.’

‘I’m not scared when I’m by myself,’ she replied. ‘I grew up in the countryside.’

He bowed his head assentingly. Something in his manner implied that he knew this already. Perhaps he had heard about her in the village.

He nodded in agreement. There was something about the way he acted that suggested he already knew this. Maybe he had heard about her in the village.

‘It’s pleasant to be in the country again,’ she continued. ‘I like Great Mop very much.’

‘It’s nice to be in the countryside again,’ she continued. ‘I really like Great Mop a lot.’

‘I hope you will stay here, Miss Willowes.’

‘I hope you’ll stay here, Miss Willowes.’

‘I hope so too.’

"I hope so too."

She spoke a little sadly. In this unaccustomed hour her soul was full of doubts. She wondered if, having flouted the Sabbath, she were still a witch, or whether, her power being taken from her, she would become the prey of a healthy and untroubled Titus. And being faint for want of food and want of sleep, she foreboded the worst.

She spoke a bit sadly. In this unfamiliar hour, her mind was filled with doubts. She wondered if, after breaking the Sabbath, she was still a witch, or if, having lost her powers, she would become the target of a strong and carefree Titus. And feeling weak from lack of food and sleep, she feared the worst.

‘Yes, you must stay here. It would be a pity to go now.’

‘Yes, you should stay here. It would be a shame to leave now.’

Laura nearly said, ‘I have nowhere to go,’ but a dread of exile came over her like a salt wave, and she could not trust herself to speak to this kind man. He came nearer and said:

Laura almost said, ‘I have nowhere to go,’ but a wave of fear about being alone washed over her, and she didn’t trust herself to speak to this kind man. He stepped closer and said:

‘Remember, Miss Willowes, that I shall always be very glad to help you. You have only to ask me.’

‘Remember, Miss Willowes, I'll always be happy to help you. You just have to ask.’

‘But where shall I find you?’ she asked, too{206} much impressed by the kindness of his words to think them strange.

‘But where will I find you?’ she asked, too{206} impressed by the kindness of his words to find them strange.

‘You will always find me in the wood,’ he answered, and touching his cap he walked away. She heard the noise of swishing branches and the scuff of feet among dead leaves growing fainter as he went further into the wood.

‘You will always find me in the woods,’ he replied, and after touching his cap, he walked away. She could hear the sound of branches swishing and the crunch of feet on dead leaves growing fainter as he moved deeper into the woods.

She decided not to go back just yet. A comfortable drowsiness settled down upon her with the first warmth of the risen sun. Her mind dwelt upon the words just spoken. The promise had been given in such sober earnestness that she had accepted it without question, seeing nothing improbable in the idea that she should require the help of a strange gamekeeper, or that he should undertake to give it. She thought that people might be different in the early morning; less shy, like the rabbits that were playing round her, more open-hearted, and simpler of speech. In any case, she was grateful to the stranger for his goodwill. He had known that she wanted to stay on at Great Mop, he had told her that she must do so. It was the established country courtesy, the invitation to take root. But he must have meant what he said, for seeing her troubled he had offered to help. Perhaps he was married; and if Mrs.{207} Leak, offended, would keep her no longer, she might lodge with him and his wife in their cottage, a cottage in a dell among the beechwoods. He had said that he lived in the woods. She began to picture her life in such a cottage, thinking that it would be even better than lodging in the village. She imagined her whitewashed bedroom full of moving green shades; the wood-smoke curling up among the trees; the majestic arms, swaying above her while she slept, and plumed with snow in winter.

She decided not to head back just yet. A cozy drowsiness settled over her with the first warmth of the rising sun. Her mind lingered on the words that had just been spoken. The promise had been made with such serious sincerity that she had accepted it without questioning, finding nothing unlikely in the idea that she might need help from a stranger who worked as a gamekeeper, or that he would be willing to provide it. She thought people might be different in the early morning; less shy, like the rabbits playing around her, more open-hearted, and simpler in their speech. In any case, she felt thankful to the stranger for his kindness. He had sensed that she wanted to stay at Great Mop, and he had told her that she should. It was the traditional country courtesy, an invitation to settle down. But he must have meant what he said, for when he saw she was troubled, he offered to help. Perhaps he was married; and if Mrs.{207} Leak, upset, wouldn’t keep her anymore, she could stay with him and his wife in their cottage, a cottage in a valley among the beech woods. He had mentioned that he lived in the woods. She began to picture her life in such a cottage, thinking it would be even better than living in the village. She imagined her whitewashed bedroom filled with moving green shades; the wood smoke curling up among the trees; the majestic branches swaying above her while she slept, blanketed with snow in winter.

The trees behind her murmured consolingly; she reclined upon the sound. ‘Remember, Miss Willowes’ ... ‘Remember,’ murmured the trees, swaying their boughs muffled with heavy foliage. She remembered, and understood. When he came out of the wood, dressed like a gamekeeper, and speaking so quietly and simply, Satan had come to renew his promise and to reassure her. He had put on this shape that she might not fear him. Or would he have her to know that to those who serve him he appears no longer as a hunter, but as a guardian? This was the real Satan. And as for the other, whom her spirit had so impetuously disowned, she had done well to disown him, for he was nothing but an impostor, a charlatan, a dummy.{208}

The trees behind her whispered comfortingly; she leaned into the sound. ‘Remember, Miss Willowes’ ... ‘Remember,’ the trees echoed, their branches swaying under thick leaves. She remembered and understood. When he stepped out of the woods, dressed like a gamekeeper and speaking so softly and plainly, Satan had come to renew his promise and to reassure her. He had taken on this form so she wouldn’t fear him. Or did he want her to know that to those who serve him, he no longer appears as a hunter, but as a protector? This was the true Satan. And as for the other one, whom her spirit had so impulsively rejected, she was right to reject him, because he was nothing but a fraud, a fake, a puppet.{208}

Her doubts were laid to rest, and she walked back through the fields, picking mushrooms as she went. As she approached the village she heard Mr. Saunter’s cocks crowing, and saw the other cock, for ever watchful, for ever silent, spangle in the sun above the church tower. The churchyard yews cast long shadows like open graves. Behind those white curtains slumbered Mr. Jones, and dreamed, perhaps, of the Sabbath which he was not allowed to attend.

Her doubts vanished, and she walked back through the fields, picking mushrooms as she went. As she got closer to the village, she heard Mr. Saunter’s roosters crowing and saw the other rooster, always alert, always quiet, glistening in the sun above the church tower. The churchyard yews cast long shadows like open graves. Behind those white curtains, Mr. Jones slept, and maybe dreamed of the Sunday service he wasn’t allowed to attend.

As Laura passed through Mrs. Leak’s garden she remembered her first morning as a witch when she had gone out to give the kitten a run. The sunflowers had been cut off and given to the hens, but the scrubbing-brush was still propped on the kitchen window-sill. That was three weeks ago. And Titus, like the scrubbing-brush, was still there.

As Laura walked through Mrs. Leak’s garden, she remembered her first morning as a witch when she had taken the kitten out to play. The sunflowers had been cut and fed to the hens, but the scrubbing brush was still leaning against the kitchen windowsill. That was three weeks ago. And Titus, just like the scrubbing brush, was still there.

During those three weeks Titus had demanded a great deal of support; in fact, being a witch-aunt was about twice as taxing as being an ordinary aunt, and if she had not known that the days were numbered she could scarcely have endured them.

During those three weeks, Titus had asked for a lot of help; in fact, being a witch-aunt was about twice as exhausting as being a regular aunt, and if she hadn't known that the days were limited, she could hardly have gotten through them.

At her nephew’s request she made veils of butter-muslin weighted with blue beads to protect his food and drink. Titus insisted that the{209} beads should be blue: blue was the colour of the Immaculate Conception; and as pious Continental mothers dedicate their children, so he would dedicate his milk and hope for the best. But no blue beads were to be found in the village, so Laura had to walk into Barleighs for them. Titus was filled with gratitude, he came round on purpose to thank her and stayed to tea.

At her nephew’s request, she made food covers out of butter-muslin that were weighted with blue beads. Titus insisted that the{209} beads had to be blue: blue symbolized the Immaculate Conception; and just like devoted mothers in Europe dedicate their children, he would dedicate his milk and hope for the best. However, there were no blue beads available in the village, so Laura had to go to Barleighs to find them. Titus was really grateful; he came over specifically to thank her and ended up staying for tea.

He was no sooner gone than Mrs. Garland arrived. Mrs. Garland had seen the veils. She hoped that Mr. Willowes didn’t think she was to blame for the milk going sour. She could assure Miss Willowes that the jugs were mopped out with boiling water morning and evening. For her part, she couldn’t understand it at all. She was always anxious to give satisfaction, she said; but her manner suggested less anxiety to give than to receive. Laura soothed Mrs. Garland, and sat down to wait for Mr. Dodbury. However, Mr. Dodbury contented himself with frowning at that interfering young Willowes’s aunt, and turning the bull into the footpath field. Laura thought that the bull frowned too.

He had barely left when Mrs. Garland showed up. She had noticed the veils and hoped Mr. Willowes didn’t blame her for the spoiled milk. She assured Miss Willowes that the jugs were cleaned with boiling water morning and evening. As for her, she just couldn’t figure it out. She always wanted to please, she said, but her attitude seemed more focused on receiving than giving. Laura calmed Mrs. Garland and sat down to wait for Mr. Dodbury. Meanwhile, Mr. Dodbury just frowned at that meddlesome young Willowes’s aunt and directed the bull into the footpath field. Laura thought that the bull looked upset too.

Though veiled in butter-muslin, the milk continued to curdle. Titus came in to say that he’d had an idea; in future, he would rely upon condensed milk out of a tin. Which sort{210} did Aunt Lolly recommend? And would she make him a kettle-holder? Apparently tinned milk could resist the Devil, for all was peace until Titus gashed his thumb on the raw edge of a tin. In spite of Laura’s first aid the wound festered, and for several days Titus wore a sling. Triumphant over pain he continued the Life of Fuseli. But the wounded thumb being a right-hand thumb, the triumph involved an amanuensis. Laura hated ink, she marvelled that any one should have the constancy to write a whole book. She thought of Paradise Lost with a shudder, for it required even more constancy to write some one else’s book. Highly as she rated the sufferings of Milton’s daughters, she rated her own even higher, for she did not suppose that they had to be for ever jumping up and down to light the poet’s cigarette; and blank verse flowed, flowed majestically, she understood, from his lips, whereas Titus dictated in prose, which was far harder to punctuate.

Though covered with butter-muslin, the milk kept curdling. Titus came in with an idea; from now on, he would use condensed milk from a tin. Which kind{210} did Aunt Lolly suggest? And would she make him a kettle-holder? Apparently, tinned milk could withstand anything, because everything was peaceful until Titus cut his thumb on the sharp edge of a tin. Despite Laura’s first aid, the wound got infected, and for several days, Titus wore a sling. Triumphing over pain, he continued working on the Life of Fuseli. But since it was his right thumb that was injured, his triumph involved having a scribe. Laura hated ink; she was amazed that anyone could have the patience to write an entire book. She thought of Paradise Lost with dread, because it required even more patience to write someone else’s book. While she respected the struggles of Milton’s daughters, she considered her own suffering even greater, as she didn’t think they had to constantly jump up and down to light the poet’s cigarette; and blank verse flowed, majestic and smooth, she understood, from his lips, while Titus dictated in prose, which was much harder to punctuate.

Nor did it flow. Titus was not feeling at his best. He hated small bothers, and of late he had been seethed alive in them. Every day something went wrong, some fiddle-faddle little thing. All his ingenuity was wasted in circumvention; he had none left for Fuseli.{211}

Nor did it flow. Titus was not feeling great. He couldn't stand small annoyances, and lately he had been overwhelmed by them. Every day, something would go wrong, some trivial little issue. All his cleverness was spent on avoiding them; he had nothing left for Fuseli.{211}

Anyhow, dictation was only fit for oil-kings! He jumped up and dashed about the room with a fly-flap. Fly-flapping was a manly indoor sport, especially if one observed all the rules. The ceiling was marked out in squares like a chess-board, and while they stayed in their squares the flies could not be attacked. The triangle described by the blue vase, the pink vase, and the hanging lamp was a Yellowstone Park, and so was the King’s Face, a difficult ruling, but Titus had decided that of two evils it was more tolerable that the royal countenance should be crawled over by flies than assaulted by the subject. All this from a left-handed adversary—the flies had nothing to complain of, in his opinion. Laura owned his generosity, and sat, when she could, in the Yellowstone Park.

Anyway, dictation was only for the rich! He jumped up and ran around the room with a fly swatter. Fly swatting was a manly indoor activity, especially if you followed all the rules. The ceiling was marked in squares like a chessboard, and while they stayed in their squares, the flies couldn’t be attacked. The triangle formed by the blue vase, the pink vase, and the hanging lamp was a nature reserve, and so was the King’s Face, a tough call, but Titus decided that of two evils, it was better for flies to crawl over the royal face than for the subject to be attacked. All this from a left-handed opponent—the flies had nothing to complain about, in his view. Laura acknowledged his generosity and sat, when she could, in the nature reserve.

By the time Titus had recovered the use of his right hand the flies had lost their sanctuaries one by one, and could not even call the King’s Face their own. They swarmed in his sitting-room, attracted, Mrs. Garland supposed, by the memory of that nasty foreign cheese Mr. Willowes’s Mr. Humphries had brought with him when he came to stay. They swarmed in his bedroom also, and that—Mrs. Garland said—was what brought in the bats. Laura told Titus{212} the belief that if a bat once entangles itself in a woman’s flowing hair there is no remedy but to cut away hair and bat together. Titus turned pale. That afternoon he went up to London to visit his hairdresser, and returned with hair cropped like a convict’s.

By the time Titus had regained the use of his right hand, the flies had lost their hiding spots one by one and couldn't even claim the King’s Face as their own. They buzzed around his sitting room, likely drawn there by the memory of that awful foreign cheese Mr. Willowes’s Mr. Humphries had brought when he came to stay. They also filled his bedroom, and that—according to Mrs. Garland—was what attracted the bats. Laura told Titus{212} that it was believed if a bat gets caught in a woman’s long hair, the only solution is to cut both the hair and the bat. Titus turned pale. That afternoon, he went to London to see his hairdresser and came back with a hairstyle cropped like a convict’s.

All this had unsettled her victim a good deal; but it had not unseated him, and meanwhile it was sufficiently unsettling for her. So far, she thought, the scheme and its execution had been the kitten’s—she could recognise Vinegar’s playful methods. She gave him credit for doing his best. But he was young and inexperienced, this was probably his first attempt at serious persecution; it was not to be wondered at if his methods were a little sketchy. Now that the Devil had taken matters into his own hands—and of this she felt assured—all would soon be well. Well for her, well for Titus. Really, it was time that poor boy was released from his troubles. She felt complete confidence in the Devil, a confidence that the kitten had never inspired. There was a tinge of gratuitous malice in Vinegar’s character; he was, as one says, rather a cat. She suspected him of meditating a scratch which would give Titus blood-poisoning. She remembered with uneasiness what{213} cats are said to do to sleeping infants, and every night she was careful to imprison Vinegar in her bedroom, a useless precaution since he had come in by the keyhole and might as easily go out by it. The Devil would get rid of Titus more speedily, more kindly (he had no reason to be anything but kind: she could not imagine Titus being of the smallest interest to Satan), more economically. There would be no catastrophe, no pantechnicon displays of flood or fire. He would proceed discreetly and surely, like a gamekeeper going his rounds by night, he would remove Titus as imperturbably as Dunlop had removed the beech-leaf. She could sit back quite comfortably now, and wait for it to happen.

All of this had really unsettled her victim; but it hadn't knocked him off his game, and in the meantime, it was unsettling enough for her. So far, she thought, the plan and how it was carried out had been the kitten’s doing—she could see Vinegar’s playful techniques. She gave him credit for trying his best. But he was young and inexperienced; this was probably his first serious attempt at persecution, so it wasn’t surprising that his methods were a bit rough around the edges. Now that the Devil had taken matters into his own hands—and she was sure of that—everything would soon be fine. Fine for her, fine for Titus. Honestly, it was about time that poor boy was freed from his troubles. She felt completely confident in the Devil, a confidence that the kitten had never inspired. There was a hint of unnecessary malice in Vinegar’s character; he was, as people say, quite a cat. She suspected he was thinking of a scratch that could give Titus blood poisoning. She remembered with unease what{213} cats are said to do to sleeping babies, and every night she carefully locked Vinegar in her bedroom, a pointless precaution since he could easily come in through the keyhole and go out the same way. The Devil would get rid of Titus more quickly, more kindly (he had no reason to be anything but kind; she couldn’t imagine Titus being even slightly interesting to Satan), and more efficiently. There would be no disaster, no dramatic displays of flood or fire. He would act discreetly and surely, like a gamekeeper making his rounds at night, and he would remove Titus as smoothly as Dunlop had removed the beech leaf. She could sit back comfortably now and wait for it to happen.

When Titus next appeared and complained that he had been kept awake for two nights running by a mouse gnawing the leg of his bedstead, Laura was most helpful. They went to Mrs. Trumpet’s to buy a mouse-trap, but as Mrs. Trumpet only kept cheese they walked very pleasantly by field-paths into Barleighs, where Denby’s stores had a larger range of groceries. During their walk Titus recalled anecdotes illustrative of mice from Soup from a Sausage Peg, and propounded a scheme for defending his bed by a catskin valance. The day{214} was fine, and at intervals Titus would stop and illustrate the landscape with possessive gestures.

When Titus showed up again and said he hadn’t slept for two nights because a mouse was gnawing on the leg of his bed, Laura was really helpful. They went to Mrs. Trumpet’s to get a mouse trap, but since Mrs. Trumpet only had cheese, they took a nice walk along the field paths to Barleighs, where Denby’s stores had more groceries. During their walk, Titus shared funny stories about mice from Soup from a Sausage Peg and came up with a plan to protect his bed with a catskin valance. The day{214} was nice, and every so often, Titus would stop and express himself with gestures while talking about the landscape.

He was particularly happy. He had not enjoyed himself so much for some time. The milk and the mice and the flies had checked his spirits; he was not doing justice to Fuseli, and when he went out for long encouraging walks an oppressed feeling went with him. Twice or thrice he had felt horribly frightened, though at what he could not tell. The noise of two iron hurdles grating against each other in the wind, a dead tree with branches that looked like antlers, the stealthy movement of the sun towards the horizon: quite ordinary things like these were able to disquiet him.

He felt really happy. It had been a while since he enjoyed himself this much. The milk, the mice, and the flies had taken a toll on his mood; he wasn’t doing justice to Fuseli, and when he went out for long walks, he felt a heavy weight with him. A couple of times, he had felt intensely scared, though he couldn’t pinpoint why. The sound of two metal gates scraping against each other in the wind, a dead tree with branches that looked like antlers, the sun quietly moving toward the horizon—ordinary things like these could easily unsettle him.

He fell into the habit of talking aloud to himself. He would reason with appearances. ‘I see you, old Horny,’ he said to the dead tree. And once, as dusk pursued him homeward, he began repeating:

He got into the habit of talking to himself. He would argue with what he saw. ‘I see you, old Horny,’ he said to the dead tree. And once, as dusk chased him homeward, he started repeating:

As someone walking alone on a lonely road
Walk in fear and dread,
And after turning around once, keeps walking, And no longer turns his head; Because he knows a terrifying monster Closes in behind him:

when the sound of a crackling twig made every{215} nerve in his body stiffen with terror. Some impulse not his own snatched him round in the path, only to see old Luxmoor going out with his snares. Old Luxmoor touched his cap and grinned in an embarrassed way. Every one knew that Luxmoor poached, but it was not polite to catch him at it. He did not appear to have overheard Titus or noticed his start of terror. But there had been one instant before recognition when Titus had almost known what he dreaded to see.

when the sound of a crackling twig made every{215} nerve in his body tense with fear. Some instinct he couldn't control turned him around on the path, only to see old Luxmoor heading out with his traps. Old Luxmoor tipped his cap and smiled awkwardly. Everyone knew Luxmoor poached, but it wasn't polite to catch him in the act. He didn't seem to have noticed Titus or his startled reaction. But there was a brief moment before recognition when Titus almost saw what he was afraid to find.

So it was pleasant to find that the company of his aunt could exorcise these ghostly enmities. Clearly, there was nothing in it. To-morrow he would go for a long walk by himself.

So it was nice to find that being with his aunt could chase away these lingering resentments. Clearly, it was all in his head. Tomorrow, he would take a long walk by himself.

Laura also went for a walk that afternoon. It was a hot day, so hot and still that it felt like a Sunday. She could not do better than follow the example of the savages in Robinson Crusoe: go up on to a hill-top and say O! No pious savage could have ejaculated O! more devoutly than she did; for the hill-top was scattered over with patches of that small honey-scented flower called Tailors’ Needles, and in conjunction with the austere outlines of the landscape this perfume was exquisitely sweet and surprising. She found a little green pit and sat down in it, leaning her{216} back against the short firm turf. Ensconced in her private warmth and stillness she had almost fallen asleep when a moving figure on the opposite hillside caught her attention. Laura’s grey eyes were very keen-sighted, she soon recognised that long stride and swinging gait. The solitary walker was Titus.

Laura also went for a walk that afternoon. It was a hot day, so hot and still that it felt like a Sunday. She couldn’t do better than follow the example of the savages in Robinson Crusoe: climb up to a hilltop and exclaim O! No pious savage could have exclaimed O! more devoutly than she did; for the hilltop was dotted with patches of that small honey-scented flower called Tailors’ Needles, and in combination with the stark outlines of the landscape, this fragrance was beautifully sweet and surprising. She found a little green hollow and sat down in it, leaning her{216} back against the short, firm grass. Nestled in her private warmth and stillness, she had almost fallen asleep when a moving figure on the opposite hillside caught her attention. Laura’s grey eyes were very sharp; she soon recognized that long stride and swinging gait. The solitary walker was Titus.

There is an amusing sense of superiority in seeing and remaining unseen. Laura sat up in her form and watched Titus attentively. He looked very small, human, and scrabbly, traversing that imperturbable surface. With such a large slope to wander upon, it was faintly comic to see Titus keeping so neatly to the path; the effect was rather as if he were being taken for a walk upon a string.

There’s a funny sense of superiority in watching while not being noticed. Laura sat up in her seat and watched Titus closely. He looked really small, human, and a bit scruffy as he moved across that unchanging surface. With so much room to roam, it was somewhat amusing to see Titus sticking so closely to the path; it felt like he was being taken for a walk on a leash.

Further on the path was lost in a tangle of brambles and rusty foxglove stems which marked the site of Folly Wood, a larch plantation cut down during the war. In her map the wood had still been green. She had looked for it on one of her early explorations, and not finding it had felt defrauded. Her eyes now dwelt on the bramble tangle with annoyance. It was untidy, and fretted the hillside like a handful of rough-cast thrown on to a smooth wall. She turned back her gaze to see how Titus was{217} getting on. It struck her that he was behaving rather oddly. Though he kept to the path he was walking almost like a drunken man or an idiot, now hurrying his pace, now reforming it into a staid deliberation that was certainly not his natural gait. Quite abruptly he began to run. He ran faster and faster, his feet striving on the slippery turf. He reached the outskirts of Folly Wood, and Laura could gauge the roughness of the going from his leaps and stumbles. Midway through the wood he staggered and fell full-length.

Further along the path, it was lost in a tangle of brambles and rusty foxglove stems that marked the site of Folly Wood, a larch plantation that had been cut down during the war. In her map, the wood was still depicted as green. She had searched for it during one of her early explorations, and when she couldn’t find it, she felt cheated. Now, she looked at the bramble tangle with irritation. It was messy and disrupted the hillside like a handful of rough plaster thrown on a smooth wall. She turned her gaze back to see how Titus was{217} doing. It struck her that he was acting rather strangely. Although he was sticking to the path, he was walking almost like a drunken person or an idiot, sometimes speeding up, then slowing down into a careful, deliberate pace that was definitely not his usual way of walking. Suddenly, he started to run. He ran faster and faster, his feet struggling on the slippery grass. He reached the edge of Folly Wood, and Laura could tell how difficult it was from his jumps and stumbles. Halfway through the wood, he staggered and fell flat on his face.

‘A rabbit-hole,’ she said. ‘Now I suppose he’s sprained his ankle.’

‘A rabbit hole,’ she said. ‘Now I guess he’s sprained his ankle.’

But before any thought of compunction could mitigate the rather scornful bewilderment with which she had been a spectator of these antics, Titus was up again, and behaving more oddly than ever. No amount of sprained ankle could warrant those raving gestures with which he beat himself, and beat the air. He seemed to be fending off an invisible volley of fisticuffs, for now he ducked his head, now he leaped to one side, now he threatened, now he quailed before a fresh attack. At last he made off with shambling speed, reeling and gesticulating as though his whole body bellowed with pain and{218} fear. He reached the summit of the hill; for a moment he was silhouetted against the sky-line in a final convulsion of distress; then he was gone.

But before any feelings of guilt could soften the scornful confusion with which she watched these antics, Titus was on his feet again, acting stranger than ever. No sprained ankle could explain those wild gestures with which he hit himself and flailed at the air. He looked like he was dodging an invisible barrage of punches, as he ducked his head, leaped to one side, threatened, and then flinched from another imaginary blow. Finally, he stumbled off with an unsteady speed, swaying and flailing as if his whole body was filled with pain and{218} fear. He reached the top of the hill; for a moment, he stood out against the skyline in a last spasm of distress; then he was gone.

Laura felt as if she were releasing her gaze from a telescope. Her glance strayed about the landscape. She frowned and looked inquiringly from side to side, not able to credit her eyes. Blandly unconscious, the opposite hillside confronted her with its familiar face. A religious silence filled the valley. As the untroubled air had received Titus’s roarings and damnings (for it was obvious that he had both roared and damned) without concerning itself to transmit them to her hearing, so her vision had absorbed his violent pantomime without concerning itself to alarm her brain. She could not reason about what she had seen; she could scarcely stir herself to feel any curiosity, and still less any sympathy. Like a masque of bears and fantastic shapes, it had seemed framed only to surprise and delight.

Laura felt like she was pulling her gaze away from a telescope. Her eyes wandered across the landscape. She frowned and looked around, unable to believe what she was seeing. The opposite hillside was staring back at her with its familiar face, completely unbothered. A deep silence filled the valley. Just as the calm air accepted Titus’s shouts and curses (it was clear that he had both shouted and cursed) without bothering to carry them to her ears, her eyes took in his wild gestures without unsettling her mind. She couldn’t make sense of what she had witnessed; she barely felt any curiosity, let alone sympathy. It had felt like a show of bears and strange figures, seemingly created just to surprise and entertain.

But that, she knew, was not Satan’s way. He was not in the habit of bestowing these gratuitous peep-shows upon his servants, he was above the human weakness of doing things for fun; and if he exhibited Titus dancing upon the hill{219}side like a cat on hot bricks, she might be sure that it was all according to plan. It behoved her to be serious and attend, instead of accepting it all in this spirit of blank entertainment. Even as a matter of bare civility she ought to find out what had happened. Besides, Titus might require her ministrations. She got up, and began to walk back to the village.

But she knew that wasn’t Satan’s way. He didn’t usually give his followers these random shows; he was above the human weakness of doing things just for fun. If he was showing Titus dancing on the hillside like a cat on hot coals, she could be sure it was all part of a plan. It was important for her to be serious and pay attention, instead of taking it all as mere entertainment. Even out of basic politeness, she should find out what had happened. Besides, Titus might need her help. She stood up and started walking back to the village.

Titus, she reflected, would almost certainly have gone home. Even if he did not run all the way he would by now have had time to settle down and get over the worst of his disturbance. A kind of decency forbade her to view too immediately the dismay of her victim. Titus unmenaced, Titus invading her quiet and straddling over her peace of mind, was a very different thing from Titus melting and squirming before the fire of her resentment. Now that she was walking to his assistance she felt quite sorry for him. My nephew who is plagued by the Devil was as much an object for affectionate aunt-like interest as my nephew who has an attack of measles. She did not take the present affliction more seriously than she had taken those of the past. With time, and a change of air, she was confident that he would make a complete recovery.{220}

Titus, she thought, had probably gone home by now. Even if he didn’t run all the way, he would have had enough time to calm down and get over the worst of his distress. It felt decent to avoid looking too closely at her victim’s turmoil. Titus unthreatened, Titus disrupting her calm and stepping into her peace of mind, was a completely different picture from Titus shrinking and squirming in the heat of her resentment. As she walked to help him, she felt genuinely sorry for him. My nephew who is troubled by some kind of devil was just as much a cause for caring aunt-like concern as my nephew who has measles. She didn’t take his current turmoil any more seriously than she had his past troubles. With some time and a change of environment, she was sure he would fully recover.{220}

As for her own share in the matter, she felt no shame at all. It had pleased Satan to come to her aid. Considering carefully, she did not see who else would have done so. Custom, public opinion, law, church, and state—all would have shaken their massive heads against her plea, and sent her back to bondage.

As for her own part in this, she felt no shame at all. It had pleased Satan to help her. Thinking it through, she couldn't see who else would have stepped up. Tradition, public opinion, the law, the church, and the state—all would have strongly rejected her plea and sent her back into captivity.

She reached Great Mop about five o’clock. As she turned up Mrs. Leak’s garden-path, Titus bounded from the porch.

She arrived at Great Mop around five o’clock. As she walked up Mrs. Leak’s garden path, Titus jumped out from the porch.

‘There you are!’ he exclaimed. ‘We have just come to have tea with you.’

‘There you are!’ he said. ‘We just came to have tea with you.’

She perceived that Titus was not alone. In the porch playing with the kitten was Pandora Williams, Pandora Williams whom Titus had invited to play the rebeck at the Flower Show. Before Laura could welcome her Titus was exclaiming again.

She noticed that Titus wasn’t alone. On the porch, playing with the kitten was Pandora Williams, the same Pandora Williams whom Titus had invited to play the rebeck at the Flower Show. Before Laura could greet her, Titus was exclaiming again.

‘Such an afternoon as I’ve had! Such adventures! First I fell into a wasps’-nest, and then I got engaged to Pandora.’

‘What an afternoon I’ve had! What adventures! First, I fell into a wasp nest, and then I got engaged to Pandora.’

So that was it. It was wasps. Wasps were the invisible enemies that had beset and routed him on the hill-side. O Beelzebub, God of flies! But why was he now going to marry Pandora Williams?

So that was it. It was wasps. Wasps were the unseen enemies that had attacked and defeated him on the hillside. Oh Beelzebub, God of flies! But why was he now planning to marry Pandora Williams?

‘The wops-nest was in Folly Wood. I{221} tripped up, and fell smack on top of it. My God, I thought I should die! They got into my ears, and down my neck, and up my trousers, they were everywhere, as thick as spikes in sodawater. I ran for my life, I ran nearly all the way home, and most of them came with me, either inside or out. And when I rushed up the street calling in an exhausted voice for onions, there was Pandora!’

‘The wasp nest was in Folly Wood. I{221} tripped and fell right on top of it. My God, I thought I was going to die! They got in my ears, down my neck, and up my pants; they were everywhere, as thick as spikes in soda water. I ran for my life, nearly all the way home, and most of them followed me, either inside or outside. And when I rushed up the street, shouting in an exhausted voice for onions, there was Pandora!’

‘I had been invited to tea,’ said Pandora rather primly.

"I had been invited to tea," Pandora said with a rather formal tone.

‘Yes, and I’d forgotten it, and gone out for a walk. Pandora, if I’d had my deserts, you would have scorned me, and left me to perish. Pandora, I shall never forget your magnanimous way of behaving. That was what did it, really. One has to offer marriage to a young woman who has picked dead wasps out of one’s armpit.’

‘Yeah, and I totally forgot about it and went out for a walk. Pandora, if I got what I deserved, you would have looked down on me and let me suffer. Pandora, I’ll never forget how generous you were. That’s what really changed everything. You have to propose to a young woman who has pulled dead wasps out of your armpit.’

Laura had never seen Titus so excited. His face was flushed, his voice was loud, the pupils of his eyes were extraordinarily dilated. But how much of this was due to love and how much to wasps and witchcraft it was impossible to say. And was Pandora part of the witchcraft too, a sort of queen wasp whose sting was mortal balm? Why should Titus offer her marriage? Why{222} should Pandora accept it? They had always been such friends.

Laura had never seen Titus so excited. His face was flushed, his voice was loud, and his eyes were wide open. But how much of this was because of love and how much was due to wasps and witchcraft was impossible to determine. And was Pandora part of the witchcraft too, a kind of queen wasp whose sting was a healing balm? Why would Titus propose to her? Why{222} would Pandora accept? They had always been such good friends.

Laura turned to the girl to see how she was taking it. Pandora’s smooth cheeks and smooth lappets of black hair seemed to shed calm like an unwavering beam of moonlight. But at Laura’s good wishes she started, and began nervously to counter them with explanations and apologies for coming to Laura’s rooms for tea. She had dropped Titus’ teapot, and broken it. Laura was not surprised that she had dropped the teapot. It was clear to her that Pandora’s emotions that afternoon had been much more vehement than anything that Titus had experienced in his mental uproar. How well—thought Laura—she has hidden her feelings all this time! How well she is hiding them now!

Laura turned to the girl to see how she was feeling about it. Pandora’s smooth cheeks and sleek black hair seemed to radiate calm like a steady beam of moonlight. But at Laura’s warm wishes, she flinched and started nervously giving excuses and apologies for coming to Laura’s place for tea. She had dropped Titus’ teapot and broken it. Laura wasn't surprised that she had dropped the teapot. It was obvious to her that Pandora's emotions that afternoon had been much more intense than anything Titus had felt in his mental chaos. How well—Laura thought—she has hidden her feelings all this time! How well she is hiding them now!

These fine natures, she knew, always found comfort in cutting bread-and-butter. Pandora welcomed the suggestion. She covered three large plates, and would have covered a fourth if the butter had not given out. There were some ginger-bread nuts as well, and a few bull’s-eyes. Mrs. Leak must have surmised a romance. She marked her sense of the occasion by the tea, which was almost purple—as strong as wedding-cake, Titus said.{223}

These nice people, she knew, always found comfort in making tea and snacks. Pandora liked the idea. She filled three large plates and would have filled a fourth if they hadn't run out of butter. There were also some gingerbread cookies and a few bull’s-eyes. Mrs. Leak must have sensed something romantic. She made an impression with the tea, which was almost purple—strong as wedding cake, Titus said.{223}

It was a savagely plain tea. But had it consisted of cocoa and ship’s-biscuit, Laura might have offered it without a qualm to guests so much absorbed by their proper emotions. Titus talked incessantly, and Pandora ate with the stealthy persistence of a bitch that gives suck. Meanwhile Laura looked at the new Mr. and Mrs. Willowes. They would do very well, she decided. Young as she was, Pandora had already the air of a family portrait; such looks, such characters change little, for they are independent of time. And undoubtedly she was very much in love with Titus. While he talked she watched his face with the utmost attention, though she did not seem to hear what he was saying. Titus, too, must be considerably in love. Despite the unreality of his behaviour, and a swelled nose, his happiness gave him an almost romantic appearance. Perhaps it was that too recently she had seen him dancing on the Devil’s strings to be able to take him quite seriously; perhaps she was old-maidishly scornful of the authenticity of anything that a man may say or do; but at the back of her mind Laura felt that Titus was but a proxy wooer, the ambassador of an imperious dynastic will; and that the real match was made between Pandora and Lady Place.{224}

It was a painfully basic tea. But if it had been cocoa and ship’s biscuit, Laura might have served it without hesitation to guests so absorbed in their own feelings. Titus talked non-stop, and Pandora ate with the quiet persistence of a nursing mother. Meanwhile, Laura observed the new Mr. and Mrs. Willowes. She decided they would be just fine. Young as she was, Pandora already had the feel of a family portrait; such looks and personalities change little, as they are timeless. And it was clear she was very much in love with Titus. While he talked, she watched his face with great attention, even though she didn’t seem to be listening. Titus, too, had to be quite in love. Despite his odd behavior and a swollen nose, his happiness gave him an almost romantic vibe. Perhaps it was too fresh in her mind seeing him dancing to the Devil’s strings to take him seriously; maybe she was old-maidishly disdainful of the authenticity of anything a man might say or do; but deep down, Laura felt that Titus was just a stand-in wooer, the representative of a powerful dynastic wish; and that the real match was between Pandora and Lady Place.{224}

Anyhow, it was all very suitable, and she must be content to leave it at that. The car from the Lamb and Flag was waiting to take them to the station. Titus was going back to London with Pandora to see her people, as Pandora had refused to face their approval alone. The Williamses lived pleasantly on Campden Hill, and were typical of the best class of Londoners, being almost indistinguishable from people living pleasantly in the country. What, indeed, could be more countrified than to be in town during September? For a moment Laura feared that she too would be obliged to travel to London. The lovers had insisted upon her company as far as the station.

Anyway, it was all very fitting, and she had to be okay with leaving it at that. The car from the Lamb and Flag was ready to take them to the station. Titus was heading back to London with Pandora to meet her family, since Pandora had refused to face their approval on her own. The Williamses lived comfortably on Campden Hill and were typical of the best kind of Londoners, nearly indistinguishable from people living happily in the countryside. What could be more countryside than spending time in the city in September? For a moment, Laura worried that she too would have to travel to London. The couple had insisted she join them as far as the station.

‘You must come,’ said Titus. ‘There will be all sorts of things I shall remember to ask you to do for me. I can’t remember them now, but I shall the moment the car starts. I always do.’

‘You have to come,’ said Titus. ‘There will be all kinds of things I’ll remember to ask you to do for me. I can’t think of them right now, but I will the moment the car starts. I always do.’

Laura knew this to be very truth. Nevertheless she stood out against going until Pandora manœuvred her into a corner and said in a desperate whisper: ‘O Miss Willowes, for God’s sake, please come. You’ve no idea how awful it is being left alone with some one you love.’

Laura knew this to be very true. Nevertheless, she resisted going until Pandora maneuvered her into a corner and said in a desperate whisper, “Oh, Miss Willowes, please, for God’s sake, come. You have no idea how awful it is to be left alone with someone you love.”

Laura replied: ‘Very well. I’ll come as a thank-offering.{225}

Laura replied, "Alright. I'll come as a thank-you gift.{225}"

Pandora’s sense of humour could just contrive a rather castaway smile.

Pandora’s sense of humor could easily create a pretty forced smile.

They got into the car. There was no time to spare, and the driver took them along the winding lanes at top speed, sounding his horn incessantly. It was a closed car, and they sat in it in perfect silence all the way to the station. Before the car had drawn up in the station yard Titus leaped out and began to pay the driver. Then he looked wildly round for the train. There was no train in sight. It had not come in yet.

They got into the car. There was no time to waste, and the driver sped through the winding roads, honking the horn constantly. It was a closed car, and they sat quietly all the way to the station. Just before the car pulled up in the station yard, Titus jumped out and started paying the driver. Then he looked around frantically for the train. There was no train in sight. It hadn’t arrived yet.

When Laura had seen them off and gone back to the station yard she found that in his excitement Titus had dismissed the driver without considering how his aunt was to get back to Great Mop. However, it didn’t matter—the bus started for Barleighs at half-past eight, and from Barleighs she could walk on for the rest of the way. This gave her an hour and a half to spend in Wickendon. A sensible way of passing the time would be to eat something before her return journey; but she was not hungry, and the fly-blown cafes in the High Street were not tempting. She bought some fruit, and turned up an alley between garden walls in search of a field where she could sit and eat it in peace. The alley soon changed to{226} an untidy lane and then to a cinder-track running steeply uphill between high hedges. A municipal kindliness had supplied at intervals iron benches, clamped and riveted into the cinders. But no one reposed on them, and the place was unpeopled save by swarms of midges. Laura was hot and breathless by the time she reached the top of the hill and came out upon a bare grassy common. Here was an obvious place to sit down and gasp, and as there were no iron benches to deter her, she did so. But she immediately forgot her exhaustion, so arresting was the sight that lay before her.

When Laura had seen them off and returned to the station yard, she realized that in his excitement, Titus had sent the driver away without thinking about how his aunt would get back to Great Mop. However, it didn’t matter—the bus to Barleighs left at half-past eight, and from Barleighs, she could walk the rest of the way. This gave her an hour and a half to spend in Wickendon. A sensible way to pass the time would be to grab a bite before her return journey, but she wasn’t hungry, and the rundown cafes on the High Street didn’t appeal to her. She bought some fruit and turned down an alley between garden walls, looking for a field where she could sit and eat in peace. The alley soon turned into{226} a messy lane and then to a cinder path that ran steeply uphill between tall hedges. A touch of municipal kindness had placed iron benches at intervals, clamped and riveted into the cinders. But no one was sitting on them, and the place was deserted except for clouds of midges. Laura was hot and out of breath by the time she reached the top of the hill and emerged onto a bare grassy common. It was a perfect spot to sit down and catch her breath, and since there were no iron benches to discourage her, she did just that. But she immediately forgot her exhaustion, so striking was the view before her.

The cinder-track led to a small enclosure, full of cypresses, yews, clipped junipers and weeping-willows. Rising from this funereal plumage was an assortment of minarets, gilded cupolas and obelisks. She stared at this phenomenon, so byronic in conception, so spick and span in execution, and sprouting so surprisingly from the mild Chiltern landscape, completely at a loss to account for it. Then she remembered: it was the Maulgrave Folly. She had read of it in the guide-book, and of its author, Sir Ralph Maulgrave, the Satanic Baronet, the libertine, the atheist, who drank out of a skull, who played away his mistress and pistolled the winner, who{227} rode about Buckinghamshire on a zebra, whose conversation had been too much for Thomas Moore. ‘This bad and eccentric character,’ the guide-book said, disinfecting his memory with rational amusement. Grown old, he had amused himself by elaborating a burial-place which was to be an epitome of his eclectic and pessimistic opinions. He must, thought Laura, have spent many hours on this hillside, watching the masons and directing the gardeners where to plant his cypresses. And afterwards he would be wheeled away in his bath-chair, for, pace the guide-book, at a comparatively early age he lost the use of his legs.

The cinder track led to a small area filled with cypress trees, yews, trimmed junipers, and weeping willows. Rising from this somber greenery were various minarets, gilded domes, and obelisks. She gazed at this spectacle, so Byronic in its design, so neat and orderly in its execution, and so unexpectedly emerging from the gentle Chiltern landscape, completely bewildered about its origins. Then she remembered: it was the Maulgrave Folly. She had read about it in the guidebook, along with its creator, Sir Ralph Maulgrave, the Satanic Baronet, the libertine, the atheist, who drank out of a skull, who cheated on his mistress and shot the winner, who rode around Buckinghamshire on a zebra, whose conversations were too much for Thomas Moore. "This notorious and eccentric character," the guidebook said, sanitizing his memory with rational amusement. As he grew older, he entertained himself by creating a burial site that reflected his eclectic and pessimistic views. Laura thought he must have spent many hours on this hillside, watching the masons and directing the gardeners on where to plant his cypress trees. And afterward, he would be wheeled away in his bath chair, for, despite what the guidebook said, he lost the use of his legs at a relatively young age.

Poor gentleman, how completely he had misunderstood the Devil! The plethoric gilt cupolas winked in the setting sun. For all their bad taste, they were perfectly respectable—cupolas and minarets and cypresses, all had a sleek and well-cared-for look. They had an assured income, nothing could disturb their calm. The silly, vain, passionate heart that lay buried there had bequeathed a sum of money for their perpetual upkeep. The Satanic Baronet who mocked at eternal life and designed this place as a lasting testimony of his disbelief had contrived to immortalise himself as a laughing-stock.{228}

Poor guy, he totally misunderstood the Devil! The flashy, gold-tipped domes sparkled in the setting sun. Despite their bad taste, they looked perfectly respectable—domes and minarets and cypress trees all had a sleek and well-maintained appearance. They had a steady income, nothing could shake their tranquility. The silly, vain, passionate heart that was buried there had left behind money for their ongoing upkeep. The Satanic Baronet, who scoffed at eternal life and created this place as a lasting testament to his disbelief, ended up making himself a laughingstock.{228}

It was ungenerous. The dead man had been pilloried long enough; it was high time that Maulgrave’s Folly should be left to fall into decent ruin and decay. And instead of that, even at this moment it was being trimmed up afresh. She felt a thrill of anger as she saw a gardener come out of the enclosure, carrying a flag basket and a pair of shears. He came towards her, and something about the rather slouching and prowling gait struck her as being familiar. She looked more closely, and recognised Satan.

It was cruel. The dead man had been ridiculed for long enough; it was about time that Maulgrave’s Folly was allowed to fall into respectful ruin and decay. Instead, at this very moment, it was being spruced up again. She felt a surge of anger as she saw a gardener come out of the enclosure, carrying a flag basket and a pair of shears. He walked toward her, and something about his slightly slouching, prowling walk seemed familiar. She looked closer and recognized Satan.

‘How can you?’ she said, when he was within speaking distance. He, of all people, should be more compassionate to the shade of Sir Ralph.

‘How can you?’ she said when he was close enough to hear. He, of all people, should be more compassionate toward the ghost of Sir Ralph.

He feigned not to hear her.

He pretended not to hear her.

‘Would you care to go over the Folly, ma’am?’ he inquired. ‘It’s quite a curiosity. Visitors come out from London to see it.’

‘Would you like to check out the Folly, ma’am?’ he asked. ‘It’s quite an attraction. People come out from London to see it.’

Laura was not going to be fubbed off like this. He might pretend not to recognise her, but she would jog his memory.

Laura wasn't going to be brushed off like this. He might act like he didn't recognize her, but she would refresh his memory.

‘So you are a grave-keeper as well as a gamekeeper?’

‘So you’re a gravekeeper as well as a gamekeeper?’

‘The Council employ me to cut the bushes,’ he answered.{229}

‘The Council hired me to trim the bushes,’ he answered.{229}

‘O Satan!’ she exclaimed, hurt by his equivocations. ‘Do you always hide?’

‘Oh Satan!’ she exclaimed, hurt by his mixed signals. ‘Do you always hide?’

With the gesture of a man who can never hold out against women, he yielded and sat down beside her on the grass.

With the move of a guy who can never resist women, he gave in and sat down next to her on the grass.

Laura felt a momentary embarrassment. She had long wished for a reasonable conversation with her Master, but now that her wish seemed about to be granted, she felt rather at a loss for an opening. At last she observed:

Laura felt a brief moment of embarrassment. She had wanted a decent conversation with her Master for a long time, but now that it looked like her wish was about to come true, she felt unsure about how to start. Finally, she noticed:

‘Titus has gone.’

"Titus is gone."

‘Indeed? Isn’t that rather sudden? It was only this afternoon that I met him.’

‘Really? Isn’t that a bit abrupt? I only met him this afternoon.’

‘Yes, I saw you meeting him. At least, I saw him meeting you.’

‘Yes, I saw you with him. At least, I saw him with you.’

‘Just so. It is remarkable,’ he added, as though he were politely parrying her thought, ‘how invisible one is on these bare green hillsides.’

‘Exactly. It’s amazing,’ he added, as if he were politely deflecting her thought, ‘how unnoticed you can be on these bare green hillsides.’

‘Or in these thick brown woods,’ said Laura, rather sternly.

‘Or in these dense brown woods,’ said Laura, rather sternly.

This sort of Satanic playfulness was no novelty; Vinegar often behaved in the same fashion, leaping about just out of reach when she wanted to catch him and shut him up indoors.

This kind of devilish playfulness was nothing new; Vinegar often acted the same way, jumping around just out of reach when she tried to catch him and keep him inside.

‘Or in these thick brown woods,’ he concurred. ‘Folly Wood is especially dense.{230}

‘Or in these thick brown woods,’ he agreed. ‘Folly Wood is especially dense.{230}

‘Is?’

‘Is it?’

‘Is. Once a wood, always a wood.’

‘Is. Once a forest, always a forest.’

Once a wood, always a wood. The words rang true, and she sat silent, considering them. Pious Asa might hew down the groves, but as far as the Devil was concerned he hewed in vain. Once a wood, always a wood: trees where he sat would crowd into a shade. And people going by in broad sunlight would be aware of slow voices overhead, and a sudden chill would fall upon their flesh. Then, if like her they had a natural leaning towards the Devil, they would linger, listening about them with half-closed eyes and averted senses; but if they were respectable people like Henry and Caroline they would talk rather louder and hurry on. There remaineth a rest for the people of God (somehow the thought of the Devil always propelled her mind to the Holy Scriptures), and for the other people, the people of Satan, there remained a rest also. Held fast in that strong memory no wild thing could be shaken, no secret covert destroyed, no haunt of shadow and silence laid open. The goods yard at Paddington, for instance—a savage place! as holy and enchanted as ever it had been. Not one of the monuments and tinkerings of man could impose on the satanic{231} mind. The Vatican and the Crystal Palace, and all the neat human nest-boxes in rows, Balham and Fulham and the Cromwell Road—he saw through them, they went flop like cardhouses, the bricks were earth again, and the steel girders burrowed shrieking into the veins of earth, and the dead timber was restored to the ghostly groves. Wolves howled through the streets of Paris, the foxes played in the throneroom of Schönbrunn, and in the basement at Apsley Terrace the mammoth slowly revolved, trampling out its lair.

Once a forest, always a forest. The words rang true as she sat quietly, thinking about them. Pious Asa might cut down the trees, but as far as the Devil was concerned, he was doing it for nothing. Once a forest, always a forest: the trees where he sat would create a canopy of shade. And people passing by in bright sunlight would hear slow whispers overhead, and a sudden chill would wash over them. If they had a natural inclination towards the Devil like she did, they would linger, listening with half-closed eyes and distracted minds; but if they were respectable folks like Henry and Caroline, they would talk a bit louder and hurry on. There remains a rest for the people of God (somehow, thinking of the Devil always led her to the Holy Scriptures), and for others, the people of Satan, there’s a rest as well. In that strong memory, nothing wild could be disturbed, no secret hideaway destroyed, no haunt of shadows and silence revealed. The goods yard at Paddington, for example—a wild place! as sacred and magical as it ever was. None of man’s monuments and mess could affect the satanic{231} mind. The Vatican and the Crystal Palace, and all the tidy little human nests in rows—Balham, Fulham, and Cromwell Road—he saw through them; they collapsed like card houses, the bricks became earth again, the steel beams screamed as they burrowed into the ground, and the dead wood returned to the ghostly forests. Wolves howled through the streets of Paris, foxes played in the throne room of Schönbrunn, and in the basement at Apsley Terrace, the mammoth slowly turned, trampling out its lair.

‘Then I needn’t really have come here to meet you!’ she exclaimed.

‘Then I really didn't need to come here to meet you!’ she exclaimed.

‘Did you?’

"Did you?"

‘I didn’t know I did. I thought I came here to be in the country, and to escape being an aunt.’

‘I didn’t know I did. I thought I came here to be in the countryside and to escape being an aunt.’

‘Titus came here to write a book on Fuseli, and to enjoy himself.’

‘Titus came here to write a book about Fuseli and to have a good time.’

‘Titus! I can’t believe you wanted him.’

‘Titus! I can’t believe you wanted him.’

‘But you do believe I wanted you.’

‘But you really believe I wanted you.’

Rather taken aback she yet answered the Devil honestly.

Taken by surprise, she still responded to the Devil honestly.

‘Yes! I do believe you wanted me. Though really I don’t know why you should.’

‘Yes! I do believe you wanted me. Though honestly, I don’t know why you would.’

A slightly malevolent smile crossed the Devi{232}l’s face. For some reason or other her modesty seemed to have nettled him.

A slightly wicked smile appeared on the Devi{232}l's face. For some reason, her modesty seemed to get on his nerves.

‘Some people would say that you had flung yourself at my head.’

‘Some people might say that you threw yourself at my head.’

‘Other people,’ she retorted, ‘would say that you had been going about seeking to devour me.’

‘Other people,’ she shot back, ‘might say that you’ve been trying to take advantage of me.’

‘Exactly. I even roared that night. But you were asleep while I roared. Only the hills heard me triumphing over my spoil.’

‘Exactly. I even let out a roar that night. But you were asleep while I roared. Only the hills heard me celebrating my victory.’

Laura said: ‘I wish I could really believe that.’

Laura said, "I wish I could actually believe that."

‘I wish you could, too,’ he answered affably; ‘you would feel so comfortable and important. But you won’t, although it is much more probable than you might suppose.’

‘I wish you could, too,’ he replied with a friendly tone; ‘you would feel so at ease and significant. But you won’t, even though it’s more likely than you might think.’

Laura stretched herself out on the turf and pillowed her head on her arm.

Laura lay down on the grass and rested her head on her arm.

‘Nothing could feel more comfortable than I do, now that Titus is gone,’ she said. ‘And as for importance, I never wish to feel important again. I had enough of that when I was an aunt.’

‘Nothing could feel more comfortable than I do now that Titus is gone,’ she said. ‘And as for feeling important, I never want to experience that again. I had more than enough of it when I was an aunt.’

‘Well, you’re a witch now.’

"Well, you're a witch now."

‘Yes.... I really am, aren’t I?’

"Yes... I really am, right?"

‘Irrevocably.’

‘Irreversibly.’

His voice was so perfectly grave that she began to suspect him of concealing some amusement. When but a moment before he had{233} jested she had thought a deeper meaning lay beneath his words, she almost believed that his voice had roared over her in the thunder. If he had spoken without feigning then, she had not heard him; for he had stopped her ears with a sleep.

His voice was so serious that she started to wonder if he was hiding some amusement. Just a moment before, when he had joked, she thought there was a deeper meaning behind his words. She almost felt like his voice had thundered over her. If he had spoken honestly then, she hadn’t heard him because he had put her into a kind of daze.

‘Why do you sigh?’ he asked.

‘Why are you sighing?’ he asked.

‘Did I sigh? I’m puzzled, that’s all. You see, although I’m a witch, and although you sitting here beside me tell me so, I can’t really appreciate it, take it in. It all seems perfectly natural.’

‘Did I sigh? I’m confused, that’s all. You see, even though I’m a witch, and even though you sitting here beside me say that I am, I can’t really grasp it or process it. It all feels completely normal.’

‘That is because you are in my power. No servant of mine can feel remorse, or doubt, or surprise. You may be quite easy, Laura: you will never escape me, for you can never wish to.’

‘That’s because you’re under my control. No servant of mine can feel guilt, uncertainty, or shock. You can relax, Laura: you’ll never get away from me, because you’ll never want to.’

‘Yes, I can quite well believe that, I’m sure I shall never wish to escape you. But you are a mysterious Master.’

‘Yes, I can definitely believe that; I'm sure I'll never want to escape from you. But you are a mysterious Master.’

‘You seem to me rather an exacting servant. I have shaped myself like a jobbing gardener, I am sitting on the grass beside you (I’ll have one of your apples if I may. They are a fruit I am particularly fond of), I am doing everything in my power to be agreeable and reassuring.... What more do you want?’

‘You seem like a pretty demanding servant. I’ve adapted myself like a casual gardener, sitting on the grass next to you (I’d love to have one of your apples if that’s okay. I really like them), and I’m doing everything I can to be friendly and reassuring.... What more do you want?’

‘That is exactly what I complain of. You{234} are too lifelike to be natural; why, it might be Goethe’s Conversations with Eckermann. No! if I am really a witch, treat me as such. Satisfy my curiosity. Tell me about yourself.’

‘That’s exactly what I’m complaining about. You{234} are too realistic to be natural; honestly, it’s like something out of Goethe’s Conversations with Eckermann. No! If I really am a witch, treat me like one. Satisfy my curiosity. Tell me about yourself.’

‘Tell me first what you think,’ he answered.

‘Tell me first what you think,’ he replied.

‘I think’—she began cautiously (while he hid his cards it would not do to show all hers)—‘I think you are a kind of black knight, wandering about and succouring decayed gentlewomen.’

‘I think’—she began carefully (while he hid his cards it wouldn’t be wise to reveal all of hers)—‘I think you are like a black knight, roaming around and helping fallen noblewomen.’

‘There are warlocks too, remember.’

"Don't forget there are warlocks."

‘I can’t take warlocks so seriously, not as a class. It is we witches who count. We have more need of you. Women have such vivid imaginations, and lead such dull lives. Their pleasure in life is so soon over; they are so dependent upon others, and their dependence so soon becomes a nuisance. Do you understand?’

'I can't take warlocks seriously, not as a group. It's us witches who matter. We need you more. Women have such vivid imaginations and lead such boring lives. Their joy is so fleeting; they rely so much on others, and that reliance quickly turns into a burden. Do you get what I mean?'

He was silent. She continued, slowly, knitting her brows in the effort to make clear to herself and him the thought that was in her mind:

He was quiet. She went on, slowly, furrowing her brows in an attempt to clarify the thought that was in her mind for both herself and him:

‘It’s like this. When I think of witches, I seem to see all over England, all over Europe, women living and growing old, as common as blackberries, and as unregarded. I see them, wives and sisters of respectable men, chapel members, and blacksmiths, and small farmers, and Puritans. In places like Bedfordshire, the{235} sort of country one sees from the train. You know. Well, there they were, there they are, child-rearing, house-keeping, hanging washed dishcloths on currant bushes; and for diversion each other’s silly conversation, and listening to men talking together in the way that men talk and women listen. Quite different to the way women talk, and men listen, if they listen at all. And all the time being thrust further down into dullness when the one thing all women hate is to be thought dull. And on Sundays they put on plain stuff gowns and starched white coverings on their heads and necks—the Puritan ones did—and walked across the fields to chapel, and listened to the sermon. Sin and Grace, and God and the——’ (she stopped herself just in time), ‘and St. Paul. All men’s things, like politics, or mathematics. Nothing for them except subjection and plaiting their hair. And on the way back they listened to more talk. Talk about the sermon, or war, or cock-fighting; and when they got back, there were the potatoes to be cooked for dinner. It sounds very petty to complain about, but I tell you, that sort of thing settles down on one like a fine dust, and by and by the dust is age, settling down. Settling down! You never die, do you? No doubt{236} that’s far worse, but there is a dreadful kind of dreary immortality about being settled down on by one day after another. And they think how they were young once, and they see new young women, just like what they were, and yet as surprising as if it had never happened before, like trees in spring. But they are like trees towards the end of summer, heavy and dusty, and nobody finds their leaves surprising, or notices them till they fall off. If they could be passive and unnoticed, it wouldn’t matter. But they must be active, and still not noticed. Doing, doing, doing, till mere habit scolds at them like a housewife, and rouses them up—when they might sit in their doorways and think—to be doing still!’

“It’s like this. When I think of witches, I imagine women living and growing old all across England and Europe, as common as blackberries and ignored just the same. I see them as the wives and sisters of decent men, chapel members, blacksmiths, small farmers, and Puritans. In places like Bedfordshire, the {235} kind of countryside you see from the train. You know. Well, there they were, there they are, raising children, managing households, hanging washed dishcloths on currant bushes; and for entertainment, they have each other’s silly conversations and listen to men talk the way men talk while women listen. It’s completely different from how women talk and men listen, if they listen at all. All the while, they’re being pushed further down into dullness, even though the one thing all women despise is being thought of as dull. On Sundays, they put on plain gowns and starched white coverings on their heads and necks—the Puritans did—and walked across the fields to chapel, listening to the sermon. Sin and Grace, God and the——” (she caught herself just in time), “and St. Paul. All men’s things, like politics and mathematics. There’s nothing for them except submission and braiding their hair. And on the way back, they hear more chatter. Talk about the sermon, or war, or cock-fighting; and when they return, there are potatoes to cook for dinner. It might seem petty to complain about, but I tell you, that kind of thing settles on a person like fine dust, and eventually, that dust becomes age, settling in. Settling down! You never really die, do you? No doubt {236} that’s much worse, but there’s a dreadful kind of dreary immortality in being weighed down day after day. They think about how they were young once, and they see new young women just like they were, yet as surprising as if it had never happened before, like trees in spring. But they become like trees towards the end of summer, heavy and dusty, and no one finds their leaves surprising or notices them until they fall off. If they could just be passive and ignored, it wouldn’t matter. But they must be active and still go unnoticed. Doing, doing, doing, until mere habit scolds them like a housewife, rousing them—when they could just sit in their doorways and think—to keep on doing!”

She paused, out of breath. She had never made such a long speech in the whole of her life, nor spoken with such passion. She scarcely knew what she had said, and felt giddy and unaccustomed, as though she had been thrown into the air and had suddenly begun to fly.

She paused, panting. She had never given such a long speech in her life, nor spoken with such intensity. She barely remembered what she had said and felt dizzy and out of her element, as if she had been tossed into the air and had suddenly started to soar.

The Devil was silent, and looked thoughtfully at the ground. He seemed to be rather touched by all this. She continued, for she feared that if she did not go on talking she would grow ashamed at having said so much.{237}

The Devil was quiet and stared pensively at the ground. He appeared to be somewhat moved by everything. She kept talking because she was afraid that if she stopped, she would feel embarrassed for having said so much.{237}

‘Is it true that you can poke the fire with a stick of dynamite in perfect safety? I used to take my nieces to scientific lectures, and I believe I heard it then. Anyhow, even if it isn’t true of dynamite, it’s true of women. But they know they are dynamite, and long for the concussion that may justify them. Some may get religion, then they’re all right, I expect. But for the others, for so many, what can there be but witchcraft? That strikes them real. Even if other people still find them quite safe and usual, and go on poking with them, they know in their hearts how dangerous, how incalculable, how extraordinary they are. Even if they never do anything with their witchcraft, they know it’s there—ready! Respectable countrywomen keep their grave-clothes in a corner of the chest of drawers, hidden away, and when they want a little comfort they go and look at them, and think that once more, at any rate, they will be worth dressing with care. But the witch keeps her cloak of darkness, her dress embroidered with signs and planets; that’s better worth looking at. And think, Satan, what a compliment you pay her, pursuing her soul, lying in wait for it, following it through all its windings, crafty and patient{238} and secret like a gentleman out killing tigers. Her soul—when no one else would give a look at her body even! And they are all so accustomed, so sure of her! They say: “Dear Lolly! What shall we give her for her birthday this year? Perhaps a hot-water bottle. Or what about a nice black lace scarf? Or a new workbox? Her old one is nearly worn out.” But you say: “Come here, my bird! I will give you the dangerous black night to stretch your wings in, and poisonous berries to feed on, and a nest made of bones and thorns, perched high up in danger where no one can climb to it.” That’s why we become witches: to show our scorn of pretending life’s a safe business, to satisfy our passion for adventure. It’s not malice, or wickedness—well, perhaps it is wickedness, for most women love that—but certainly not malice, not wanting to plague cattle and make horrid children spout up pins and—what is it?—“blight the genial bed.” Of course, given the power, one may go in for that sort of thing, either in self-defence, or just out of playfulness. But it’s a poor twopenny housewifely kind of witchcraft, black magic is, and white magic is no better. One doesn’t become a witch to run round being harmful, or to run{239} round being helpful either, a district visitor on a broomstick. It’s to escape all that—to have a life of one’s own, not an existence doled out to you by others, charitable refuse of their thoughts, so many ounces of stale bread of life a day, the workhouse dietary is scientifically calculated to support life. As for the witches who can only express themselves by pins and bed-blighting, they have been warped into that shape by the dismal lives they’ve led. Think of Miss Carloe! She’s a typical witch, people would say. Really she’s the typical genteel spinster who’s spent herself being useful to people who didn’t want her. If you’d got her younger she’d never be like that.’

‘Is it true that you can poke the fire with a stick of dynamite without getting hurt? I used to take my nieces to science talks, and I think I heard that there. Anyway, even if it isn’t true about dynamite, it’s true about women. But they know they are like dynamite and crave the explosion that could validate them. Some might find religion, and then they’re fine, I guess. But for the others, for so many, what else can there be but witchcraft? That feels real to them. Even if others see them as perfectly safe and normal, and keep poking at them, they know deep down how dangerous, unpredictable, and extraordinary they really are. Even if they never do anything with their witchcraft, they know it’s there—ready! Respectable women keep their grave clothes stashed in a corner of the dresser, and when they need a little comfort, they go look at them, thinking that once again, at least, they will be worth dressing with care. But the witch keeps her cloak of darkness and her dress adorned with symbols and planets; that’s way more interesting to look at. And think, Satan, what a compliment you pay her, chasing her soul, lying in wait for it, following it through all its twists and turns, crafty and patient and secretive like a gentleman out hunting tigers. Her soul—when no one else would even glance at her body! And everyone is so familiar and so certain about her! They say: “Dear Lolly! What should we get her for her birthday this year? Maybe a hot-water bottle. Or how about a beautiful black lace scarf? Or a new sewing box? Her old one is almost worn out.” But you say: “Come here, my bird! I’ll give you the dangerous black night to spread your wings in, and poisonous berries to munch on, and a nest made of bones and thorns, perched high up in danger where no one can reach it.” That’s why we become witches: to show our disdain for pretending that life is safe, to satisfy our hunger for adventure. It’s not malice or wickedness—well, maybe it is wickedness, since most women enjoy that—but definitely not malice, not wanting to torment livestock and make horrible children spit up pins and—what is it?—“blight the genial bed.” Of course, with the power, one could go for that kind of thing, either in self-defense or just for fun. But that’s a pretty pathetic, housewife style of witchcraft; black magic is, and white magic isn’t any better. You don’t become a witch to go around being harmful or to run around being helpful either, like a neighborhood visitor on a broomstick. It’s to escape all that—to have a life of your own, not an existence handed to you by others, the charitable leftovers of their thoughts, so many ounces of stale bread of life a day, the workhouse dietary is scientifically designed to keep you alive. As for the witches who can only express themselves through pins and ruining beds, they’ve been twisted into that shape by their dreary lives. Think of Miss Carloe! People would call her a typical witch. In reality, she’s the typical genteel spinster who’s exhausted herself being useful to people who didn’t want her. If you’d caught her younger, she wouldn’t be like that.’

‘You seem to know a good deal about witches,’ remarked Satan. ‘But you were going to say what you thought about me.’

‘You seem to know a lot about witches,’ said Satan. ‘But you were about to share your thoughts on me.’

She shook her head.

She nodded in disagreement.

‘Go on,’ he said encouragingly. ‘You have compared me to a knight-errant. That’s very pretty. I believe you have also compared me to a hunter, a poaching sort of hunter, prowling through the woods after dark. Not so flattering to my vanity as the knight-errant, but more accurate, I daresay.{240}

‘Go on,’ he said encouragingly. ‘You’ve compared me to a knight-errant. That’s quite nice. I think you’ve also called me a hunter, more of a poacher, sneaking around in the woods after dark. Not as flattering to my ego as the knight-errant, but I’d say it’s more accurate.{240}

‘O Satan! Why do you encourage me to talk when you know all my thoughts?’

‘O Satan! Why do you push me to speak when you know all my thoughts?’

‘I encourage you to talk, not that I may know all your thoughts, but that you may. Go on, Laura. Don’t be foolish. What do you think about me?’

‘I encourage you to speak, not because I want to know everything on your mind, but so that you can. Go on, Laura. Don’t be silly. What are your thoughts about me?’

‘I don’t know,’ she said honestly. ‘I don’t think I do think. I only rhapsodise and make comparisons. You’re beyond me, my thought flies off you like the centrifugal hypothesis. And after this I shall be more at a loss than ever, for I like you so much, I find you so kind and sympathetic. But it is obvious that you can’t be merely a benevolent institution. No, I must be your witch in blindness.’

‘I don’t know,’ she said honestly. ‘I don’t really think. I just get caught up in my feelings and make comparisons. You’re beyond my understanding; my thoughts spin away from you like a centrifugal force. And after this, I’ll be more confused than ever, because I really like you; I find you so kind and understanding. But it’s clear that you can’t just be a nice entity. No, I have to be your blind witch.’

‘You don’t take warlocks so seriously, I know. But you might find their point of view illuminating. As it’s a spiritual difficulty, why not consult Mr. Jones?’

‘You don’t take warlocks seriously, I get it. But you might find their perspective enlightening. Since this is a spiritual issue, why not talk to Mr. Jones?’

‘Poor Mr. Jones!’ Laura began to laugh. ‘He can’t call his soul his own.’

‘Poor Mr. Jones!’ Laura started to laugh. ‘He can’t really claim his soul as his own.’

‘Hush! Have you forgotten that he has sold it to me?’

‘Hush! Did you forget that he sold it to me?’

‘Then why did you mortgage it to Mr. Gurdon? Mr. Jones isn’t even allowed to attend the Sabbath.’

‘Then why did you mortgage it to Mr. Gurdon? Mr. Jones isn’t even allowed to attend the Sabbath.’

‘You are a little dense at times. Hasn’t it{241} occurred to you that other people might share your sophisticated dislike for the Sabbath?’

‘You can be a bit slow sometimes. Haven’t you{241} realized that other people might also have your refined dislike for the Sabbath?’

‘You don’t attend the Sabbath either, if it comes to that.’

‘You don’t go to the Sabbath either, if it comes down to it.’

‘How do you know? Don’t try to put me in your pocket, Laura. You are not my only conquest, and I am not a human master to have favourites among my servants. All are souls that come to my net. I apologise for the pun, but it is apt.’

‘How do you know? Don’t try to control me, Laura. You aren’t my only victory, and I’m not some human master with favorites among my servants. They are all souls that come into my grasp. I apologize for the pun, but it fits.’

She had been rebuked, but she did not feel particularly abashed. It was true, then, what she had read of the happy relationship between the Devil and his servants. If Euphan Macalzean had rated him—why, so, at a pinch, might she. Other things that she had read might also be true, she thought, things that she had till now been inclined to reject. So easy-going a Master who had no favourites among his servants might in reality attend the Sabbath, might unbend enough to eat black-puddings at a picnic without losing his dignity.

She had been scolded, but she didn’t feel particularly ashamed. It was true, then, what she had read about the happy relationship between the Devil and his followers. If Euphan Macalzean had rated him—well, so might she, in a pinch. Other things she had read might also be true, she thought, things she had been inclined to dismiss until now. A laid-back Master who had no favorites among his servants could actually attend the Sabbath, could loosen up enough to eat blood sausage at a picnic without losing his dignity.

‘That offensive young man at the Sabbath,’ she remarked, ‘I know he wasn’t you. Who was he?’

‘That rude young man at the Sabbath,’ she said, ‘I know it wasn't you. Who was he?’

‘He’s one of these brilliant young authors,’ replied the Devil. ‘I believe Titus knows him.{242} He sold me his soul on the condition that once a week he should be without doubt the most important person at a party.’

‘He’s one of these brilliant young authors,’ replied the Devil. ‘I believe Titus knows him.{242} He sold me his soul on the condition that once a week he should be, without a doubt, the most important person at a party.’

‘Why didn’t he sell his soul in order to become a great writer? Then he could have had the party into the bargain.’

‘Why didn’t he sell his soul to become a great writer? Then he could have had the party as a bonus.’

‘He preferred to take a short-cut, you see.’

‘He preferred to take a shortcut, you see.’

She didn’t see. But she was too proud to inquire further, especially as Satan was now smiling at her as if she were a pet lamb.

She didn’t see. But she was too proud to ask any more questions, especially since Satan was now smiling at her like she was a pet lamb.

‘What did Mr. Jones——’

‘What did Mr. Jones say——’

‘That’s enough! You can ask him that yourself, when you take your lessons in demonology.’

‘That’s enough! You can ask him that yourself when you take your classes in demonology.’

‘Do you suppose for one moment that Mr. Gurdon would let me sit closeted with Mr. Jones taking lessons in plain needlework even? He would put his face in at the window and say: “How much longer are them Mothers to be kept waiting?” or: “I should like to know what your reverence is doing about that there dung?” or: “I suppose you know that the cowman’s girl may go off at any minute.” And then he’d take him down to the shrubbery and scold him. My heart bleeds for the poor old gentleman!’

‘Do you really think that Mr. Gurdon would let me sit alone with Mr. Jones learning basic sewing? He would pop his head in the window and say: “How much longer are those Mothers going to be kept waiting?” or: “I’d like to know what you’re doing about that dung?” or: “I assume you’re aware that the cowman’s daughter could leave at any moment.” And then he’d take him down to the bushes and scold him. I feel so sorry for the poor old man!’

‘Mr. Jones’—Satan spoke demurely—‘will have his reward in another life.{243}

‘Mr. Jones’—Satan said quietly—‘will get his reward in another life.{243}

Laura was silent. She gazed at the Maulgrave Folly with what she could feel to be a pensive expression. But her mind was a blank.

Laura was silent. She stared at the Maulgrave Folly with what she felt was a thoughtful expression. But her mind was empty.

‘A delicate point, you say? Perhaps it is bad taste on my part to jest about it.’

‘A sensitive topic, you say? Maybe it's in poor taste for me to joke about it.’

A midge settled on Laura’s wrist. She smacked at it.

A midge landed on Laura’s wrist. She swatted at it.

‘Dead!’ said Satan.

“Dead!” said Satan.

The word dropped into her mind like a pebble thrown into a pond. She had heard it so often, and now she heard it once more. The same waves of thought circled outwards, waves of startled thought spreading out on all sides, rocking the shadows of familiar things, blurring the steadfast pictures of trees and clouds, circling outward one after the other, each wave more listless, more imperceptible than the last, until the pool was still again.

The word landed in her mind like a pebble tossed into a pond. She had heard it so many times, and now she heard it again. The same waves of thought spread outwards, waves of startled thinking moving in every direction, unsettling the familiar shadows, distorting the reliable images of trees and clouds, expanding outward one after another, each wave more sluggish, less noticeable than the last, until the water was calm again.

There might be some questions that even the Devil could not answer. She turned her eyes to him with their question.

There might be some questions that even the Devil couldn't answer. She looked at him with her question in her eyes.

Satan had risen to his feet. He picked up the flag basket and the shears, and made ready to go.

Satan stood up. He grabbed the flag basket and the shears and got ready to leave.

‘Is it time?’ asked Laura.

"Is it time?" Laura asked.

He nodded, and smiled.

He nodded and smiled.

She got up in her turn, and began to shake{244} the dust off her skirt. Then she prodded a hole for the bag which had held the apples, and buried it tidily, smoothing the earth over the hole. This took a little time to do, and when she looked round for Satan, to say good-bye, he was out of sight.

She got up and started to shake the dust off her skirt. Then she made a hole for the bag that had held the apples and buried it neatly, smoothing the dirt over the hole. This took a little while to do, and when she looked around for Satan to say goodbye, he was out of sight.

Seeing that he was gone she sat down again, for she wanted to think him over. A pleasant conversation, though she had done most of the talking. The tract of flattened grass at her side showed where he had rested, and there was the rampion flower he had held in his hand. Grass that has been lain upon has always a rather popular bank-holidayish look, and even the Devil’s lair was not exempt from this. It was as though the grass were in league with him, faithfully playing-up to his pose of being a quite everyday phenomenon. Not a blade of grass was singed, not a clover-leaf blasted, and the rampion flower was withering quite naturally; yet he who had sat there was Satan, the author of all evil, whose thoughts were a darkness, whose roots went down into the pit. There was no action too mean for him, no instrument too petty; he would go into a milk-jug to work mischief. And presently he would emerge, imperturbable, inscrutable, enormous with the{245} dignity of natural behaviour and untrammelled self-fulfilment.

Seeing that he was gone, she sat down again because she wanted to think things over. It had been a pleasant conversation, even though she had done most of the talking. The patch of flattened grass beside her showed where he had rested, and there was the rampion flower he had held in his hand. Grass that has been sat on always looks a bit festive, and even the Devil’s lair was no exception. It was as if the grass was colluding with him, playing along with his act of being a completely ordinary occurrence. Not a blade of grass was scorched, not a clover leaf was damaged, and the rampion flower was wilting quite naturally; yet the one who had sat there was Satan, the source of all evil, whose thoughts were darkness, whose roots reached down into the abyss. There was no action too low for him, no tool too trivial; he would sneak into a milk jug to cause trouble. And soon he would come out, unbothered, mysterious, exuding the dignity of normal behavior and unrestricted self-fulfillment.

To be this—a character truly integral, a perpetual flowering of power and cunning from an undivided will—was enough to constitute the charm and majesty of the Devil. No cloak of terrors was necessary to enlarge that stature, and to suppose him capable of speculation or metaphysic would be like offering to crown him with a few casual straws. Very probably he was quite stupid. When she had asked him about death he had got up and gone away, which looked as if he did not know much more about it than she did herself: indeed, being immortal, it was unlikely that he would know as much. Instead, his mind brooded immovably over the landscape and over the natures of men, an unforgetting and unchoosing mind. That, of course—and she jumped up in her excitement and began to wave her arms—was why he was the Devil, the enemy of souls. His memory was too long, too retentive; there was no appeasing its witness, no hoodwinking it with the present; and that was why at one stage of civilisation people said he was the embodiment of all evil, and then a little later on that he didn’t exist.{246}

To be this—a character truly essential, a constant display of power and cleverness from an unwavering will—was enough to define the charm and majesty of the Devil. No cloak of fears was needed to expand that presence, and to think of him as capable of deep thought or philosophy would be like trying to crown him with a few random straws. He was probably quite dull. When she asked him about death, he got up and walked away, which suggested he didn’t know much more about it than she did: after all, being immortal, it was unlikely he would know more. Instead, his mind remained fixed on the landscape and the nature of humanity, a relentless and unyielding mind. That, of course—and she jumped up in her excitement and began to wave her arms—was why he was the Devil, the adversary of souls. His memory was too long, too unforgetting; there was no soothing its witness, no tricking it with the present; and that’s why, at one point in civilization, people said he represented all evil, and then a little later claimed he didn’t exist.{246}

For a moment Laura thought that she had him: and on the next, as though he had tricked himself out of her grasp, her thoughts were scattered by the sudden consciousness of a sort of jerk in the atmosphere. The sun had gone down, sliding abruptly behind the hills. In that case the bus would have gone too, she might as well hope to catch the one as the other. First Satan, then the sun and the bus—adieu, mes gens! With affectionate unconcern she seemed to be waving them farewell, pleased to be left to herself, left to enter into this new independence acknowledged by their departure.

For a moment, Laura thought she had him; then, just like that, as if he had slipped away from her, her thoughts scattered as she suddenly felt a shift in the atmosphere. The sun had set, abruptly disappearing behind the hills. That meant the bus had probably left too, so she might as well hope to catch either one. First, Satan, then the sun, and the bus—adieu, mes gens! With a kind of affectionate indifference, she seemed to wave them goodbye, happy to be on her own, ready to embrace this new independence that their departure had brought her.

The night was at her disposal. She might walk back to Great Mop and arrive very late: or she might sleep out and not trouble to arrive till to-morrow. Whichever she did Mrs. Leak would not mind. That was one of the advantages of dealing with witches; they do not mind if you are a little odd in your ways, frown if you are late for meals, fret if you are out all night, pry and commiserate when at length you return. Lovely to be with people who prefer their thoughts to yours, lovely to live at your own sweet will, lovely to sleep out all night! She had quite decided, now, to do so. It was an adventure, she had never done such a thing{247} before, and yet it seemed most natural. She would not sleep here: Wickendon was too close. But presently, later on, when she felt inclined to, she would wander off in search of a suitable dry ditch or an accommodatingly loosened haystack; or wading through last year’s leaves and this year’s fern she would penetrate into a wood and burrow herself a bed, Satan going his rounds might come upon her and smile to see her lying so peaceful and secure in his dangerous keeping. But he would not disturb her. Why should he? The pursuit was over, as far as she was concerned. She could sleep where she pleased, a hind couched in the Devil’s coverts, a witch made free of her Master’s immunity; while he, wakeful and stealthy, was already out after new game. So he would not disturb her. A closer darkness upon her slumber, a deeper voice in the murmuring leaves overhead—that would be all she would know of his undesiring and unjudging gaze, his satisfied but profoundly indifferent ownership.

The night was hers to enjoy. She could walk back to Great Mop and arrive really late, or she could sleep outside and not worry about showing up until tomorrow. Either way, Mrs. Leak wouldn’t mind. That was one of the perks of dealing with witches; they don’t care if you’re a little quirky, don’t frown if you’re late for meals, and won’t fret if you’re out all night, nor will they pry or sympathize when you finally return. It was lovely to be around people who prefer their own thoughts to yours, lovely to live however you wanted, and lovely to sleep outside all night! She had decided to do just that. It was an adventure; she had never done anything like this before, yet it felt perfectly natural. She wouldn’t sleep here; Wickendon was too close. But later, when she felt like it, she would wander off to find a suitable dry ditch or a conveniently loose haystack; or by wading through last year's leaves and this year's ferns, she would make her way into a wood and create a bed for herself, while Satan might come by and smile to see her lying so peacefully and securely in his dangerous care. But he wouldn’t bother her. Why should he? The chase was over for her. She could sleep wherever she wanted, like a deer resting in the Devil’s hideouts, a witch free from her Master’s constraints, while he, alert and stealthy, was already off looking for new quarry. So he wouldn’t disturb her. A deeper darkness surrounding her sleep, a richer sound in the rustling leaves above—that would be all she would experience of his indifferent and non-judging gaze, his content but profoundly unconcerned ownership.



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