This is a modern-English version of The Red Badge of Courage: An Episode of the American Civil War, originally written by Crane, Stephen.
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The Red Badge of Courage
by Stephen Crane (1871-1900)
An Episode of the American Civil War
Contents
Chapter I.
The cold passed reluctantly from the earth, and the retiring fogs revealed an army stretched out on the hills, resting. As the landscape changed from brown to green, the army awakened, and began to tremble with eagerness at the noise of rumors. It cast its eyes upon the roads, which were growing from long troughs of liquid mud to proper thoroughfares. A river, amber-tinted in the shadow of its banks, purled at the army’s feet; and at night, when the stream had become of a sorrowful blackness, one could see across it the red, eyelike gleam of hostile camp-fires set in the low brows of distant hills.
The cold gradually left the earth, and the disappearing fog revealed an army spread out on the hills, resting. As the landscape changed from brown to green, the army stirred and began to buzz with excitement at the sound of rumors. It looked at the roads, which were transforming from long troughs of muddy water to proper pathways. A river, tinted amber in the shadow of its banks, flowed at the army’s feet; and at night, when the water turned a mournful black, one could see across it the red, glaring glint of enemy campfires set on the low slopes of distant hills.
Once a certain tall soldier developed virtues and went resolutely to wash a shirt. He came flying back from a brook waving his garment bannerlike. He was swelled with a tale he had heard from a reliable friend, who had heard it from a truthful cavalryman, who had heard it from his trustworthy brother, one of the orderlies at division headquarters. He adopted the important air of a herald in red and gold.
Once, a tall soldier decided to improve himself and confidently went to wash a shirt. He came running back from a stream, holding his shirt up like a flag. He was excited about a story he had heard from a reliable friend, who got it from an honest cavalryman, who heard it from his dependable brother, one of the orderlies at division headquarters. He carried himself with the importance of a herald in red and gold.
“We’re goin’ t’ move t’morrah—sure,” he said pompously to a group in the company street. “We’re goin’ ’way up the river, cut across, an’ come around in behint ’em.”
“We’re moving tomorrow—absolutely,” he said proudly to a group on the company street. “We’re heading way up the river, cutting across, and coming around behind them.”
To his attentive audience he drew a loud and elaborate plan of a very brilliant campaign. When he had finished, the blue-clothed men scattered into small arguing groups between the rows of squat brown huts. A negro teamster who had been dancing upon a cracker box with the hilarious encouragement of twoscore soldiers was deserted. He sat mournfully down. Smoke drifted lazily from a multitude of quaint chimneys.
To his eager audience, he laid out an impressive and detailed strategy for a brilliant campaign. When he finished, the men in blue broke off into small groups, debating among the rows of short, brown huts. A black teamster who had been performing on a crate, cheered on by a crowd of twenty soldiers, was left alone. He sat down, looking dejected. Smoke drifted gently from numerous quirky chimneys.
“It’s a lie! that’s all it is—a thunderin’ lie!” said another private loudly. His smooth face was flushed, and his hands were thrust sulkily into his trouser’s pockets. He took the matter as an affront to him. “I don’t believe the derned old army’s ever going to move. We’re set. I’ve got ready to move eight times in the last two weeks, and we ain’t moved yet.”
“It’s a lie! That’s all it is—a damn lie!” shouted another private. His smooth face was flushed, and he sulkily shoved his hands into his trouser pockets. He took it as a personal insult. “I don’t believe the damn army is ever going to move. We’re stuck. I’ve gotten ready to move eight times in the last two weeks, and we haven’t moved yet.”
The tall soldier felt called upon to defend the truth of a rumor he himself had introduced. He and the loud one came near to fighting over it.
The tall soldier felt it was his duty to stand up for the truth of a rumor he had started. He and the loud one almost ended up fighting over it.
A corporal began to swear before the assemblage. He had just put a costly board floor in his house, he said. During the early spring he had refrained from adding extensively to the comfort of his environment because he had felt that the army might start on the march at any moment. Of late, however, he had been impressed that they were in a sort of eternal camp.
A corporal started to swear in front of the crowd. He said he had just installed an expensive wooden floor in his house. During early spring, he had held back on making his living space more comfortable because he thought the army could be called to march at any time. However, recently, he felt like they were stuck in a never-ending camp.
Many of the men engaged in a spirited debate. One outlined in a peculiarly lucid manner all the plans of the commanding general. He was opposed by men who advocated that there were other plans of campaign. They clamored at each other, numbers making futile bids for the popular attention. Meanwhile, the soldier who had fetched the rumor bustled about with much importance. He was continually assailed by questions.
Many of the men were having an intense debate. One person clearly laid out all the plans of the commanding general. He faced opposition from others who argued that there were different campaign strategies. They yelled at each other, with several trying unsuccessfully to grab the crowd's attention. Meanwhile, the soldier who brought the rumor buzzed around as if he were very important. He was constantly bombarded with questions.
“What’s up, Jim?”
"Hey, Jim!"
“Th’army’s goin’ t’ move.”
"The army's going to move."
“Ah, what yeh talkin’ about? How yeh know it is?”
“Ah, what are you talking about? How do you know it is?”
“Well, yeh kin b’lieve me er not, jest as yeh like. I don’t care a hang.”
“Well, you can believe me or not, just as you like. I don’t care at all.”
There was much food for thought in the manner in which he replied. He came near to convincing them by disdaining to produce proofs. They grew much excited over it.
There was a lot to think about in how he responded. He almost convinced them by refusing to provide evidence. They got really worked up about it.
There was a youthful private who listened with eager ears to the words of the tall soldier and to the varied comments of his comrades. After receiving a fill of discussions concerning marches and attacks, he went to his hut and crawled through an intricate hole that served it as a door. He wished to be alone with some new thoughts that had lately come to him.
There was a young private who listened intently to the tall soldier's words and the various comments from his comrades. After absorbing a lot of talk about marches and attacks, he headed to his hut and squeezed through a complicated hole that served as the door. He wanted to be alone with some new thoughts that had recently come to him.
He lay down on a wide bunk that stretched across the end of the room. In the other end, cracker boxes were made to serve as furniture. They were grouped about the fireplace. A picture from an illustrated weekly was upon the log walls, and three rifles were paralleled on pegs. Equipments hung on handy projections, and some tin dishes lay upon a small pile of firewood. A folded tent was serving as a roof. The sunlight, without, beating upon it, made it glow a light yellow shade. A small window shot an oblique square of whiter light upon the cluttered floor. The smoke from the fire at times neglected the clay chimney and wreathed into the room, and this flimsy chimney of clay and sticks made endless threats to set ablaze the whole establishment.
He lay down on a wide bunk that stretched across the end of the room. At the other end, cracker boxes were used as furniture, arranged around the fireplace. A picture from a weekly magazine hung on the log walls, and three rifles were lined up on pegs. Gear hung on convenient hooks, and some tin dishes sat on a small pile of firewood. A folded tent served as the roof. The sunlight outside shining on it made it glow a light yellow shade. A small window cast a slanted square of bright light onto the cluttered floor. Sometimes, smoke from the fire ignored the clay chimney and curled into the room, and this flimsy chimney made of clay and sticks was always threatening to set the whole place on fire.
The youth was in a little trance of astonishment. So they were at last going to fight. On the morrow, perhaps, there would be a battle, and he would be in it. For a time he was obliged to labor to make himself believe. He could not accept with assurance an omen that he was about to mingle in one of those great affairs of the earth.
The young man was in a bit of a daze, filled with amazement. So they were finally going to fight. Tomorrow, maybe, there would be a battle, and he would be part of it. For a while, he had to work to make himself believe it. He couldn’t easily accept the idea that he was about to be involved in one of those significant events in the world.
He had, of course, dreamed of battles all his life—of vague and bloody conflicts that had thrilled him with their sweep and fire. In visions he had seen himself in many struggles. He had imagined peoples secure in the shadow of his eagle-eyed prowess. But awake he had regarded battles as crimson blotches on the pages of the past. He had put them as things of the bygone with his thought-images of heavy crowns and high castles. There was a portion of the world’s history which he had regarded as the time of wars, but it, he thought, had been long gone over the horizon and had disappeared forever.
He had, of course, dreamed of battles his whole life—of vague, bloody conflicts that had excited him with their intensity and chaos. In his visions, he saw himself in many fights. He had imagined people feeling safe under his sharp-eyed leadership. But in reality, he viewed battles as red stains on the pages of history. He considered them part of the past, alongside his thoughts of heavy crowns and grand castles. There was a part of history he thought of as the era of wars, but he believed that period had long since vanished beyond the horizon and was gone forever.
From his home his youthful eyes had looked upon the war in his own country with distrust. It must be some sort of a play affair. He had long despaired of witnessing a Greeklike struggle. Such would be no more, he had said. Men were better, or more timid. Secular and religious education had effaced the throat-grappling instinct, or else firm finance held in check the passions.
From his home, his young eyes had watched the war in his country with skepticism. It must be some kind of game. He had long given up hope of seeing a struggle like the Greeks had. That would never happen again, he thought. People were better or more fearful now. Secular and religious education had wiped out the instinct to fight, or perhaps steady finances kept emotions in check.
He had burned several times to enlist. Tales of great movements shook the land. They might not be distinctly Homeric, but there seemed to be much glory in them. He had read of marches, sieges, conflicts, and he had longed to see it all. His busy mind had drawn for him large pictures extravagant in color, lurid with breathless deeds.
He had tried several times to enlist. Stories of major events stirred the nation. They might not be exactly like the ones in Homer, but there seemed to be a lot of glory in them. He had read about marches, sieges, and battles, and he had wanted to experience it all. His active imagination had painted vivid pictures for him, filled with intense actions and dramatic situations.
But his mother had discouraged him. She had affected to look with some contempt upon the quality of his war ardor and patriotism. She could calmly seat herself and with no apparent difficulty give him many hundreds of reasons why he was of vastly more importance on the farm than on the field of battle. She had had certain ways of expression that told him that her statements on the subject came from a deep conviction. Moreover, on her side, was his belief that her ethical motive in the argument was impregnable.
But his mom had discouraged him. She seemed to look down on his enthusiasm for war and patriotism. She could sit down calmly and easily give him countless reasons why he was way more important on the farm than on the battlefield. She had certain ways of expressing herself that made it clear her points came from strong beliefs. Plus, he believed her ethical reasoning in the argument was unshakeable.
At last, however, he had made firm rebellion against this yellow light thrown upon the color of his ambitions. The newspapers, the gossip of the village, his own picturings, had aroused him to an uncheckable degree. They were in truth fighting finely down there. Almost every day the newspaper printed accounts of a decisive victory.
At last, though, he had firmly rebelled against this yellow light cast on the color of his ambitions. The newspapers, the village gossip, and his own imaginations had stirred him up to an unstoppable extent. They were really fighting hard down there. Almost every day, the newspaper published reports of a major victory.
One night, as he lay in bed, the winds had carried to him the clangoring of the church bell as some enthusiast jerked the rope frantically to tell the twisted news of a great battle. This voice of the people rejoicing in the night had made him shiver in a prolonged ecstasy of excitement. Later, he had gone down to his mother’s room and had spoken thus: “Ma, I’m going to enlist.”
One night, as he lay in bed, the winds brought him the loud sound of the church bell as someone excitedly pulled the rope to announce the shocking news of a big battle. The cheers of the people celebrating in the night made him shiver with a long-lasting thrill of excitement. Later, he went to his mother’s room and said, “Mom, I’m going to enlist.”
“Henry, don’t you be a fool,” his mother had replied. She had then covered her face with the quilt. There was an end to the matter for that night.
“Henry, don’t be stupid,” his mother had replied. She then covered her face with the quilt. That was the end of the matter for that night.
Nevertheless, the next morning he had gone to a town that was near his mother’s farm and had enlisted in a company that was forming there. When he had returned home his mother was milking the brindle cow. Four others stood waiting. “Ma, I’ve enlisted,” he had said to her diffidently. There was a short silence. “The Lord’s will be done, Henry,” she had finally replied, and had then continued to milk the brindle cow.
Nevertheless, the next morning he went to a town near his mother’s farm and signed up with a company that was forming there. When he got home, his mother was milking the brindle cow. Four others were waiting. “Mom, I’ve enlisted,” he said to her shyly. There was a brief silence. “The Lord’s will be done, Henry,” she finally replied, and then went back to milking the brindle cow.
When he had stood in the doorway with his soldier’s clothes on his back, and with the light of excitement and expectancy in his eyes almost defeating the glow of regret for the home bonds, he had seen two tears leaving their trails on his mother’s scarred cheeks.
When he stood in the doorway wearing his soldier's uniform, with excitement and anticipation shining in his eyes, almost overshadowing the regret for the ties to home, he saw two tears streaking down his mother's scarred cheeks.
Still, she had disappointed him by saying nothing whatever about returning with his shield or on it. He had privately primed himself for a beautiful scene. He had prepared certain sentences which he thought could be used with touching effect. But her words destroyed his plans. She had doggedly peeled potatoes and addressed him as follows: “You watch out, Henry, an’ take good care of yerself in this here fighting business—you watch, an’ take good care of yerself. Don’t go a-thinkin’ you can lick the hull rebel army at the start, because yeh can’t. Yer jest one little feller amongst a hull lot of others, and yeh’ve got to keep quiet an’ do what they tell yeh. I know how you are, Henry.
Still, she disappointed him by not mentioning anything about coming back with his shield or on it. He had secretly set himself up for a dramatic moment. He had prepared a few lines that he thought would have a heartfelt impact. But her words ruined his plans. She had stubbornly peeled potatoes and said to him: “You be careful, Henry, and take good care of yourself in this fighting business—you watch, and take good care of yourself. Don’t think you can take on the whole rebel army all by yourself, because you can’t. You’re just one little guy among a whole lot of others, and you need to keep your head down and do what they tell you. I know how you are, Henry."
“I’ve knet yeh eight pair of socks, Henry, and I’ve put in all yer best shirts, because I want my boy to be jest as warm and comf’able as anybody in the army. Whenever they get holes in ’em, I want yeh to send ’em right-away back to me, so’s I kin dern ’em.
“I’ve knitted you eight pairs of socks, Henry, and I’ve packed all your best shirts, because I want my boy to be just as warm and comfortable as anyone in the army. Whenever they get holes in them, I want you to send them right back to me, so I can mend them.”
“An’ allus be careful an’ choose yer comp’ny. There’s lots of bad men in the army, Henry. The army makes ’em wild, and they like nothing better than the job of leading off a young feller like you, as ain’t never been away from home much and has allus had a mother, an’ a-learning ’em to drink and swear. Keep clear of them folks, Henry. I don’t want yeh to ever do anything, Henry, that yeh would be ’shamed to let me know about. Jest think as if I was a-watchin’ yeh. If yeh keep that in yer mind allus, I guess yeh’ll come out about right.
“Always be careful and choose your company wisely. There are a lot of bad people in the army, Henry. The army makes them wild, and they love nothing more than to lead a young guy like you astray, someone who hasn't been far from home and has always had a mother. They’ll teach you to drink and swear. Stay away from those people, Henry. I don’t want you to ever do anything you’d be ashamed to let me know about. Just think of me as watching you. If you keep that in mind all the time, I guess you’ll come out alright.”
“Yeh must allus remember yer father, too, child, an’ remember he never drunk a drop of licker in his life, and seldom swore a cross oath.
“Yeh must always remember your father, too, kid, and remember he never drank a drop of alcohol in his life, and rarely swore a bad word.
“I don’t know what else to tell yeh, Henry, excepting that yeh must never do no shirking, child, on my account. If so be a time comes when yeh have to be kilt or do a mean thing, why, Henry, don’t think of anything ’cept what’s right, because there’s many a woman has to bear up ’ginst sech things these times, and the Lord’ll take keer of us all.
“I don’t know what else to say to you, Henry, except that you must never slack off, kid, on my behalf. If the time comes when you have to either get hurt or do something wrong, well, Henry, just think about what's right, because there are a lot of women who have to deal with these kinds of things these days, and the Lord will take care of us all.
“Don’t forgit about the socks and the shirts, child; and I’ve put a cup of blackberry jam with yer bundle, because I know yeh like it above all things. Good-by, Henry. Watch out, and be a good boy.”
“Don’t forget about the socks and the shirts, kid; and I’ve added a jar of blackberry jam to your things because I know you love it more than anything. Goodbye, Henry. Take care, and be a good boy.”
He had, of course, been impatient under the ordeal of this speech. It had not been quite what he expected, and he had borne it with an air of irritation. He departed feeling vague relief.
He had, of course, been impatient during this speech. It hadn't been exactly what he expected, and he had handled it with a sense of irritation. He left feeling a vague sense of relief.
Still, when he had looked back from the gate, he had seen his mother kneeling among the potato parings. Her brown face, upraised, was stained with tears, and her spare form was quivering. He bowed his head and went on, feeling suddenly ashamed of his purposes.
Still, when he looked back from the gate, he saw his mother kneeling among the potato peels. Her brown face, raised up, was stained with tears, and her thin body was shaking. He bowed his head and moved on, feeling suddenly ashamed of his intentions.
From his home he had gone to the seminary to bid adieu to many schoolmates. They had thronged about him with wonder and admiration. He had felt the gulf now between them and had swelled with calm pride. He and some of his fellows who had donned blue were quite overwhelmed with privileges for all of one afternoon, and it had been a very delicious thing. They had strutted.
From his home, he went to the seminary to say goodbye to many classmates. They gathered around him, filled with awe and admiration. He felt the distance between them now and swelled with quiet pride. He and a few of his friends who had worn blue were completely overwhelmed by the privileges for that one afternoon, and it was an incredibly delightful experience. They had walked around with confidence.
A certain light-haired girl had made vivacious fun at his martial spirit, but there was another and darker girl whom he had gazed at steadfastly, and he thought she grew demure and sad at sight of his blue and brass. As he had walked down the path between the rows of oaks, he had turned his head and detected her at a window watching his departure. As he perceived her, she had immediately begun to stare up through the high tree branches at the sky. He had seen a good deal of flurry and haste in her movement as she changed her attitude. He often thought of it.
A certain light-haired girl had playfully teased him about his fighting spirit, but there was another, darker girl he had looked at intently, and he thought she became quiet and sad when she saw his blue uniform and medals. As he walked down the path lined with oak trees, he turned his head and spotted her at a window watching him leave. When she noticed him, she quickly shifted her gaze up through the tall tree branches at the sky. He had noticed how flustered and hurried she seemed as she changed her position. He often thought about it.
On the way to Washington his spirit had soared. The regiment was fed and caressed at station after station until the youth had believed that he must be a hero. There was a lavish expenditure of bread and cold meats, coffee, and pickles and cheese. As he basked in the smiles of the girls and was patted and complimented by the old men, he had felt growing within him the strength to do mighty deeds of arms.
On the way to Washington, his spirits were high. The regiment was welcomed and pampered at every stop, making the young man feel like a hero. There was plenty of bread, cold meats, coffee, pickles, and cheese. As he soaked in the smiles from the girls and received praise and encouragement from the older men, he felt a growing strength within him to accomplish great feats in battle.
After complicated journeyings with many pauses, there had come months of monotonous life in a camp. He had had the belief that real war was a series of death struggles with small time in between for sleep and meals; but since his regiment had come to the field the army had done little but sit still and try to keep warm.
After a complicated journey with many breaks, they had spent months living a monotonous life in camp. He had believed that real war was a series of life-and-death struggles with little time for sleep and meals in between; however, since his regiment had arrived in the field, the army had mostly just stayed put and tried to keep warm.
He was brought then gradually back to his old ideas. Greeklike struggles would be no more. Men were better, or more timid. Secular and religious education had effaced the throat-grappling instinct, or else firm finance held in check the passions.
He was slowly brought back to his old beliefs. There would be no more Greek-like struggles. People had changed; they were either better or more afraid. Secular and religious education had eliminated the instinct to fight, or solid financial support kept the passions under control.
He had grown to regard himself merely as a part of a vast blue demonstration. His province was to look out, as far as he could, for his personal comfort. For recreation he could twiddle his thumbs and speculate on the thoughts which must agitate the minds of the generals. Also, he was drilled and drilled and reviewed, and drilled and drilled and reviewed.
He had come to see himself as just a small part of a huge blue display. His job was to keep an eye out, as far as possible, for his own comfort. For fun, he could twiddle his thumbs and wonder about the thoughts that must be running through the generals' minds. Plus, he was trained and trained and reviewed, and trained and trained and reviewed.
The only foes he had seen were some pickets along the river bank. They were a sun-tanned, philosophical lot, who sometimes shot reflectively at the blue pickets. When reproached for this afterward, they usually expressed sorrow, and swore by their gods that the guns had exploded without their permission. The youth, on guard duty one night, conversed across the stream with one of them. He was a slightly ragged man, who spat skillfully between his shoes and possessed a great fund of bland and infantile assurance. The youth liked him personally.
The only enemies he had encountered were a few guards along the riverbank. They were a sun-kissed, thoughtful bunch who occasionally shot aimlessly at the blue guards. When they were called out for this later, they typically showed remorse and vowed by their gods that their guns had gone off without their consent. One night, while on guard duty, the young man chatted with one of them across the stream. He was a somewhat disheveled guy, who expertly spat between his shoes and had a confident, almost childlike demeanor. The young man liked him personally.
“Yank,” the other had informed him, “yer a right dum good feller.” This sentiment, floating to him upon the still air, had made him temporarily regret war.
“Yank,” the other had told him, “you’re a really nice guy.” This thought, drifting to him in the calm air, had made him momentarily regret the war.
Various veterans had told him tales. Some talked of gray, bewhiskered hordes who were advancing with relentless curses and chewing tobacco with unspeakable valor; tremendous bodies of fierce soldiery who were sweeping along like the Huns. Others spoke of tattered and eternally hungry men who fired despondent powders. “They’ll charge through hell’s fire an’ brimstone t’ git a holt on a haversack, an’ sech stomachs ain’t a’lastin’ long,” he was told. From the stories, the youth imagined the red, live bones sticking out through slits in the faded uniforms.
Various veterans had shared stories with him. Some spoke of gray, bearded fighters who charged forward with relentless curses and chewed tobacco with incredible bravery; huge groups of fierce soldiers moving like the Huns. Others described ragged and always hungry men who fired hopeless ammunition. “They’ll charge through hellfire and brimstone to get hold of a haversack, and those stomachs won’t hold out for long,” he was told. From these tales, the young man imagined red, living bones sticking out through tears in the worn uniforms.
Still, he could not put a whole faith in veteran’s tales, for recruits were their prey. They talked much of smoke, fire, and blood, but he could not tell how much might be lies. They persistently yelled “Fresh fish!” at him, and were in no wise to be trusted.
Still, he couldn’t completely trust the stories from veterans since recruits were their targets. They talked a lot about smoke, fire, and blood, but he couldn’t know how much of it was lies. They kept shouting “Fresh fish!” at him and were by no means trustworthy.
However, he perceived now that it did not greatly matter what kind of soldiers he was going to fight, so long as they fought, which fact no one disputed. There was a more serious problem. He lay in his bunk pondering upon it. He tried to mathematically prove to himself that he would not run from a battle.
However, he realized now that it didn't really matter what kind of soldiers he was going to face, as long as they fought, which no one disputed. There was a more serious issue. He lay in his bunk thinking about it. He tried to convince himself mathematically that he wouldn't run from a battle.
Previously he had never felt obliged to wrestle too seriously with this question. In his life he had taken certain things for granted, never challenging his belief in ultimate success, and bothering little about means and roads. But here he was confronted with a thing of moment. It had suddenly appeared to him that perhaps in a battle he might run. He was forced to admit that as far as war was concerned he knew nothing of himself.
Previously, he had never felt the need to seriously grapple with this question. In his life, he had taken certain things for granted, never questioning his belief in ultimate success, and rarely thinking about the methods or paths to get there. But now he was faced with something significant. It had suddenly dawned on him that in a battle, he might actually flee. He was compelled to acknowledge that when it came to war, he didn’t really know anything about himself.
A sufficient time before he would have allowed the problem to kick its heels at the outer portals of his mind, but now he felt compelled to give serious attention to it.
A while ago, he would have let the problem linger at the edges of his mind, but now he felt he had to take it seriously.
A little panic-fear grew in his mind. As his imagination went forward to a fight, he saw hideous possibilities. He contemplated the lurking menaces of the future, and failed in an effort to see himself standing stoutly in the midst of them. He recalled his visions of broken-bladed glory, but in the shadow of the impending tumult he suspected them to be impossible pictures.
A little panic crept into his mind. As he imagined a fight, he saw awful possibilities. He thought about the hidden dangers of the future and struggled to picture himself standing strong amid them. He remembered his visions of broken-bladed glory, but under the shadow of the upcoming chaos, he doubted that those visions were realistic.
He sprang from the bunk and began to pace nervously to and fro. “Good Lord, what’s th’ matter with me?” he said aloud.
He jumped out of the bunk and started to pace back and forth anxiously. “Good Lord, what’s wrong with me?” he said out loud.
He felt that in this crisis his laws of life were useless. Whatever he had learned of himself was here of no avail. He was an unknown quantity. He saw that he would again be obliged to experiment as he had in early youth. He must accumulate information of himself, and meanwhile he resolved to remain close upon his guard lest those qualities of which he knew nothing should everlastingly disgrace him. “Good Lord!” he repeated in dismay.
He felt that in this crisis, his life lessons were irrelevant. Whatever he had learned about himself was useless here. He was an unknown factor. He realized he would have to experiment again, just like in his early years. He needed to gather more information about himself, and in the meantime, he decided to stay vigilant so that any unknown qualities wouldn't end up embarrassing him forever. “Good Lord!” he said in shock.
After a time the tall soldier slid dexterously through the hole. The loud private followed. They were wrangling.
After a while, the tall soldier skillfully slipped through the hole. The loud private followed behind, and they were arguing.
“That’s all right,” said the tall soldier as he entered. He waved his hand expressively. “You can believe me or not, jest as you like. All you got to do is sit down and wait as quiet as you can. Then pretty soon you’ll find out I was right.”
"That's okay," said the tall soldier as he walked in. He waved his hand dramatically. "You can choose to believe me or not, it's up to you. All you need to do is sit down and wait as quietly as possible. Soon enough, you'll see I was right."
His comrade grunted stubbornly. For a moment he seemed to be searching for a formidable reply. Finally he said: “Well, you don’t know everything in the world, do you?”
His buddy grunted defiantly. For a moment, he seemed to be looking for a strong comeback. Finally, he said, “Well, you don’t know everything there is to know, do you?”
“Didn’t say I knew everything in the world,” retorted the other sharply. He began to stow various articles snugly into his knapsack.
“Didn’t say I knew everything in the world,” the other replied sharply. He started to pack various items neatly into his knapsack.
The youth, pausing in his nervous walk, looked down at the busy figure. “Going to be a battle, sure, is there, Jim?” he asked.
The young man, stopping his anxious pace, glanced down at the hardworking figure. “Looks like it's going to be a battle, huh, Jim?” he asked.
“Of course there is,” replied the tall soldier. “Of course there is. You jest wait ’til to-morrow, and you’ll see one of the biggest battles ever was. You jest wait.”
“Of course there is,” replied the tall soldier. “Of course there is. Just wait until tomorrow, and you’ll see one of the biggest battles ever. Just wait.”
“Thunder!” said the youth.
"Thunder!" said the kid.
“Oh, you’ll see fighting this time, my boy, what’ll be regular out-and-out fighting,” added the tall soldier, with the air of a man who is about to exhibit a battle for the benefit of his friends.
“Oh, you’ll see some real fighting this time, my boy, what will be straight-up fighting,” added the tall soldier, like someone who is about to put on a show of battle for the benefit of his friends.
“Huh!” said the loud one from a corner.
“Huh!” said the loud person from a corner.
“Well,” remarked the youth, “like as not this story’ll turn out jest like them others did.”
“Well,” said the young man, “this story will probably end just like the others did.”
“Not much it won’t,” replied the tall soldier, exasperated. “Not much it won’t. Didn’t the cavalry all start this morning?” He glared about him. No one denied his statement. “The cavalry started this morning,” he continued. “They say there ain’t hardly any cavalry left in camp. They’re going to Richmond, or some place, while we fight all the Johnnies. It’s some dodge like that. The regiment’s got orders, too. A feller what seen ’em go to headquarters told me a little while ago. And they’re raising blazes all over camp—anybody can see that.”
“Not much it won't,” replied the tall soldier, frustrated. “Not much it won't. Didn’t the cavalry leave early this morning?” He glared around. No one contradicted him. “The cavalry left this morning,” he continued. “They say there’s barely any cavalry left in camp. They’re heading to Richmond or somewhere like that while we deal with all the Johnnies. It’s some trick like that. The regiment’s got orders too. A guy who saw them go to headquarters told me a little while ago. And they’re causing chaos all over camp—anyone can see that.”
“Shucks!” said the loud one.
“Aw, man!” said the loud one.
The youth remained silent for a time. At last he spoke to the tall soldier. “Jim!”
The young man stayed quiet for a while. Finally, he addressed the tall soldier. “Jim!”
“What?”
"Excuse me?"
“How do you think the reg’ment ’ll do?”
“How do you think the regiment will do?”
“Oh, they’ll fight all right, I guess, after they once get into it,” said the other with cold judgment. He made a fine use of the third person. “There’s been heaps of fun poked at ’em because they’re new, of course, and all that; but they’ll fight all right, I guess.”
“Oh, they’ll definitely fight, I think, once they get into it,” said the other with a cool assessment. He really knew how to use the third person. “There’s been a lot of teasing aimed at them because they’re new and all that; but they’ll fight for sure, I believe.”
“Think any of the boys ’ll run?” persisted the youth.
“Do you think any of the guys will run?” the young man pressed on.
“Oh, there may be a few of ’em run, but there’s them kind in every regiment, ’specially when they first goes under fire,” said the other in a tolerant way. “Of course it might happen that the hull kit-and-boodle might start and run, if some big fighting came first-off, and then again they might stay and fight like fun. But you can’t bet on nothing. Of course they ain’t never been under fire yet, and it ain’t likely they’ll lick the hull rebel army all-to-oncet the first time; but I think they’ll fight better than some, if worse than others. That’s the way I figger. They call the reg’ment ‘Fresh fish’ and everything; but the boys come of good stock, and most of ’em ’ll fight like sin after they oncet git shootin’,” he added, with a mighty emphasis on the last four words.
“Oh, a few of them might run, but there are those kinds in every regiment, especially when they first face combat,” the other replied tolerantly. “Of course, it could happen that the whole lot might start running at the first sign of serious fighting, but then again, they might stay and fight like crazy. You can’t count on anything. They’ve never been in battle yet, and it’s unlikely they’ll defeat the entire rebel army right off the bat; but I think they’ll fight better than some, if not as well as others. That’s how I see it. They call the regiment ‘Fresh fish’ and all that; but the guys come from good backgrounds, and most of them will fight fiercely once they start shooting,” he added, emphasizing the last four words.
“Oh, you think you know—” began the loud soldier with scorn.
“Oh, you think you know—” began the loud soldier with disdain.
The other turned savagely upon him. They had a rapid altercation, in which they fastened upon each other various strange epithets.
The other angrily confronted him. They had a quick argument, throwing various odd insults at each other.
The youth at last interrupted them. “Did you ever think you might run yourself, Jim?” he asked. On concluding the sentence he laughed as if he had meant to aim a joke. The loud soldier also giggled.
The young man finally interrupted them. “Have you ever thought about running yourself, Jim?” he asked. After finishing his sentence, he laughed as if he meant it as a joke. The loud soldier chuckled too.
The tall private waved his hand. “Well,” said he profoundly, “I’ve thought it might get too hot for Jim Conklin in some of them scrimmages, and if a whole lot of boys started and run, why, I s’pose I’d start and run. And if I once started to run, I’d run like the devil, and no mistake. But if everybody was a-standing and a-fighting, why, I’d stand and fight. Be jiminey, I would. I’ll bet on it.”
The tall private waved his hand. “Well,” he said seriously, “I was thinking it might get too intense for Jim Conklin during some of those scrimmages, and if a bunch of guys started running, I guess I’d start running too. And once I started running, I’d run like crazy, no doubt about it. But if everyone was standing and fighting, then I’d stand and fight. I swear I would. I’ll bet on it.”
“Huh!” said the loud one.
“Wow!” said the loud one.
The youth of this tale felt gratitude for these words of his comrade. He had feared that all of the untried men possessed great and correct confidence. He now was in a measure reassured.
The young man in this story felt thankful for his friend's words. He had worried that all the inexperienced guys had a lot of false confidence. Now, he felt a bit more at ease.
Chapter II.
The next morning the youth discovered that his tall comrade had been the fast-flying messenger of a mistake. There was much scoffing at the latter by those who had yesterday been firm adherents of his views, and there was even a little sneering by men who had never believed the rumor. The tall one fought with a man from Chatfield Corners and beat him severely.
The next morning, the young man found out that his tall friend had been the fast-moving messenger of a mistake. Many who had been strong supporters of his views yesterday mocked him, and there was even some sneering from those who had never believed the rumor. The tall guy got into a fight with a man from Chatfield Corners and seriously beat him up.
The youth felt, however, that his problem was in no wise lifted from him. There was, on the contrary, an irritating prolongation. The tale had created in him a great concern for himself. Now, with the newborn question in his mind, he was compelled to sink back into his old place as part of a blue demonstration.
The young man felt, however, that his problem was by no means resolved. On the contrary, it was made even more irritating. The story had sparked a deep concern for himself. Now, with this new question in his mind, he had to return to his old role in a sad display.
For days he made ceaseless calculations, but they were all wondrously unsatisfactory. He found that he could establish nothing. He finally concluded that the only way to prove himself was to go into the blaze, and then figuratively to watch his legs to discover their merits and faults. He reluctantly admitted that he could not sit still and with a mental slate and pencil derive an answer. To gain it, he must have blaze, blood, and danger, even as a chemist requires this, that, and the other. So he fretted for an opportunity.
For days, he made endless calculations, but they were all frustratingly unhelpful. He realized he couldn’t figure anything out. Eventually, he decided that the only way to prove himself was to dive into the heat of the moment and then, in a figurative sense, observe his own actions to see their strengths and weaknesses. He reluctantly accepted that he couldn’t just sit still with a blank slate and a pencil to find an answer. To discover it, he needed challenge, risk, and excitement, just like a chemist needs various ingredients. So, he anxiously waited for a chance.
Meanwhile, he continually tried to measure himself by his comrades. The tall soldier, for one, gave him some assurance. This man’s serene unconcern dealt him a measure of confidence, for he had known him since childhood, and from his intimate knowledge he did not see how he could be capable of anything that was beyond him, the youth. Still, he thought that his comrade might be mistaken about himself. Or, on the other hand, he might be a man heretofore doomed to peace and obscurity, but, in reality, made to shine in war.
Meanwhile, he kept trying to compare himself to his friends. The tall soldier, for one, gave him some reassurance. This guy's calm indifference boosted his confidence because he'd known him since they were kids, and from what he knew, there was no way this guy could do anything beyond what he could do, being younger. Still, he thought his buddy might be wrong about himself. Or, on the flip side, he could be someone destined for a quiet life but, in truth, meant to stand out in battle.
The youth would have liked to have discovered another who suspected himself. A sympathetic comparison of mental notes would have been a joy to him.
The young man would have loved to find someone else who doubted himself. Sharing thoughts and experiences would have been a delight for him.
He occasionally tried to fathom a comrade with seductive sentences. He looked about to find men in the proper mood. All attempts failed to bring forth any statement which looked in any way like a confession to those doubts which he privately acknowledged in himself. He was afraid to make an open declaration of his concern, because he dreaded to place some unscrupulous confidant upon the high plane of the unconfessed from which elevation he could be derided.
He sometimes tried to understand a friend using tempting words. He scanned the room for guys in the right mindset. All his efforts fell short of leading to any kind of admission that resembled the doubts he privately recognized in himself. He hesitated to openly express his worries because he feared putting some dishonest confidant in a position of unconfessed truth from which he could be mocked.
In regard to his companions his mind wavered between two opinions, according to his mood. Sometimes he inclined to believing them all heroes. In fact, he usually admired in secret the superior development of the higher qualities in others. He could conceive of men going very insignificantly about the world bearing a load of courage unseen, and although he had known many of his comrades through boyhood, he began to fear that his judgment of them had been blind. Then, in other moments, he flouted these theories, and assured him that his fellows were all privately wondering and quaking.
When it came to his friends, his thoughts fluctuated based on his mood. Sometimes he believed they were all heroes. In fact, he often secretly admired the way others displayed their better qualities. He could imagine men moving through life quietly, carrying an invisible weight of courage, and even though he had known many of his buddies since childhood, he started to worry that he had been blind to their true selves. Then, at other times, he dismissed these ideas and convinced himself that his peers were all secretly anxious and afraid.
His emotions made him feel strange in the presence of men who talked excitedly of a prospective battle as of a drama they were about to witness, with nothing but eagerness and curiosity apparent in their faces. It was often that he suspected them to be liars.
His emotions made him feel uneasy around men who talked excitedly about an upcoming battle as if it were a drama they were about to watch, with only eagerness and curiosity visible on their faces. He often suspected that they were being dishonest.
He did not pass such thoughts without severe condemnation of himself. He dinned reproaches at times. He was convicted by himself of many shameful crimes against the gods of traditions.
He didn’t let those thoughts go without harsh self-criticism. He often bombarded himself with accusations. He felt guilty for many disgraceful offenses against the traditions he valued.
In his great anxiety his heart was continually clamoring at what he considered the intolerable slowness of the generals. They seemed content to perch tranquilly on the river bank, and leave him bowed down by the weight of a great problem. He wanted it settled forthwith. He could not long bear such a load, he said. Sometimes his anger at the commanders reached an acute stage, and he grumbled about the camp like a veteran.
In his intense anxiety, his heart was constantly complaining about what he saw as the unbearable slowness of the generals. They appeared perfectly fine to sit calmly on the riverbank while he was weighed down by a huge problem. He wanted it resolved immediately. He couldn’t carry such a burden for much longer, he insisted. At times, his frustration with the commanders grew so intense that he grumbled about the camp like an old soldier.
One morning, however, he found himself in the ranks of his prepared regiment. The men were whispering speculations and recounting the old rumors. In the gloom before the break of the day their uniforms glowed a deep purple hue. From across the river the red eyes were still peering. In the eastern sky there was a yellow patch like a rug laid for the feet of the coming sun; and against it, black and patternlike, loomed the gigantic figure of the colonel on a gigantic horse.
One morning, though, he found himself among his ready regiment. The men were whispering guesses and sharing old rumors. In the dim light before dawn, their uniforms had a deep purple glow. Across the river, red eyes were still watching. In the eastern sky, there was a yellow patch like a rug laid down for the coming sun; and against it, the large figure of the colonel on a huge horse stood out, dark and patterned.
From off in the darkness came the trampling of feet. The youth could occasionally see dark shadows that moved like monsters. The regiment stood at rest for what seemed a long time. The youth grew impatient. It was unendurable the way these affairs were managed. He wondered how long they were to be kept waiting.
From out of the darkness came the sound of footsteps. The young man could sometimes see dark shapes moving like monsters. The regiment stood still for what felt like a long time. The young man became impatient. It was unbearable how these things were handled. He wondered how much longer they would be kept waiting.
As he looked all about him and pondered upon the mystic gloom, he began to believe that at any moment the ominous distance might be aflare, and the rolling crashes of an engagement come to his ears. Staring once at the red eyes across the river, he conceived them to be growing larger, as the orbs of a row of dragons advancing. He turned toward the colonel and saw him lift his gigantic arm and calmly stroke his mustache.
As he looked around and reflected on the eerie darkness, he started to think that at any moment the threatening distance could light up, and the sounds of battle might reach him. Glancing at the red eyes across the river, he imagined they were getting bigger, like the eyes of a line of dragons approaching. He turned to the colonel and saw him raise his large arm and casually stroke his mustache.
At last he heard from along the road at the foot of the hill the clatter of a horse’s galloping hoofs. It must be the coming of orders. He bent forward, scarce breathing. The exciting clickety-click, as it grew louder and louder, seemed to be beating upon his soul. Presently a horseman with jangling equipment drew rein before the colonel of the regiment. The two held a short, sharp-worded conversation. The men in the foremost ranks craned their necks.
At last, he heard the sound of a horse galloping down the road at the bottom of the hill. It had to be the arrival of orders. He leaned forward, hardly breathing. The thrilling clickety-click, as it got louder and louder, felt like it was pounding in his soul. Soon, a horseman with rattling gear pulled up in front of the regiment's colonel. The two exchanged a brief, tense conversation. The soldiers in the front rows stretched their necks to see.
As the horseman wheeled his animal and galloped away he turned to shout over his shoulder, “Don’t forget that box of cigars!” The colonel mumbled in reply. The youth wondered what a box of cigars had to do with war.
As the rider turned his horse and sped off, he shouted over his shoulder, “Don’t forget that box of cigars!” The colonel mumbled in response. The young man questioned what a box of cigars had to do with war.
A moment later the regiment went swinging off into the darkness. It was now like one of those moving monsters wending with many feet. The air was heavy, and cold with dew. A mass of wet grass, marched upon, rustled like silk.
A moment later, the regiment marched off into the darkness. It resembled one of those moving monsters with many feet. The air was heavy and cold with dew. A mass of wet grass, as they moved over it, rustled like silk.
There was an occasional flash and glimmer of steel from the backs of all these huge crawling reptiles. From the road came creakings and grumblings as some surly guns were dragged away.
There was an occasional flash and glimmer of steel from the backs of all these huge crawling reptiles. From the road came creaks and grumbles as some grumpy guns were dragged away.
The men stumbled along still muttering speculations. There was a subdued debate. Once a man fell down, and as he reached for his rifle a comrade, unseeing, trod upon his hand. He of the injured fingers swore bitterly, and aloud. A low, tittering laugh went among his fellows.
The men stumbled along, still mumbling their guesses. There was a quiet argument going on. Once, a man fell down, and as he reached for his rifle, a teammate, not looking, stepped on his hand. The guy with the hurt fingers cursed loudly and angrily. A soft, chuckling laugh went around among his friends.
Presently they passed into a roadway and marched forward with easy strides. A dark regiment moved before them, and from behind also came the tinkle of equipments on the bodies of marching men.
Presently, they entered a roadway and walked ahead with easy strides. A dark regiment moved in front of them, and from behind, they could also hear the jingling of equipment on the bodies of marching soldiers.
The rushing yellow of the developing day went on behind their backs. When the sunrays at last struck full and mellowingly upon the earth, the youth saw that the landscape was streaked with two long, thin, black columns which disappeared on the brow of a hill in front and rearward vanished in a wood. They were like two serpents crawling from the cavern of the night.
The bright yellow of the new day shone behind them. When the sun finally hit the ground fully and warmly, the young man saw that the landscape was marked by two long, thin black lines that disappeared over a hill in front and faded into a forest behind. They looked like two snakes slithering out from the darkness of night.
The river was not in view. The tall soldier burst into praises of what he thought to be his powers of perception.
The river was out of sight. The tall soldier started bragging about what he believed were his impressive powers of perception.
Some of the tall one’s companions cried with emphasis that they, too, had evolved the same thing, and they congratulated themselves upon it. But there were others who said that the tall one’s plan was not the true one at all. They persisted with other theories. There was a vigorous discussion.
Some of the tall one’s friends insisted that they had come up with the same idea and celebrated it. But there were others who argued that the tall one’s plan wasn’t the real one at all. They continued to suggest different theories. A lively debate followed.
The youth took no part in them. As he walked along in careless line he was engaged with his own eternal debate. He could not hinder himself from dwelling upon it. He was despondent and sullen, and threw shifting glances about him. He looked ahead, often expecting to hear from the advance the rattle of firing.
The young man didn’t get involved in them. As he walked along without a care, he was caught up in his own endless argument. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. He felt down and moody, casting anxious glances around. He looked ahead, frequently expecting to hear gunfire from up ahead.
But the long serpents crawled slowly from hill to hill without bluster of smoke. A dun-colored cloud of dust floated away to the right. The sky overhead was of a fairy blue.
But the long snakes slithered slowly from hill to hill without any puff of smoke. A brownish cloud of dust drifted off to the right. The sky above was a magical blue.
The youth studied the faces of his companions, ever on the watch to detect kindred emotions. He suffered disappointment. Some ardor of the air which was causing the veteran commands to move with glee—almost with song—had infected the new regiment. The men began to speak of victory as of a thing they knew. Also, the tall soldier received his vindication. They were certainly going to come around in behind the enemy. They expressed commiseration for that part of the army which had been left upon the river bank, felicitating themselves upon being a part of a blasting host.
The young man observed the faces of his companions, always on the lookout for shared feelings. He felt disappointed. Some excitement in the air that made the experienced soldiers move joyfully—almost singing—had spread to the new regiment. The men began to talk about victory as if it was something they were familiar with. Also, the tall soldier got his validation. They were definitely going to flank the enemy. They felt sorry for the part of the army left by the riverbank, congratulating themselves for being part of a powerful force.
The youth, considering himself as separated from the others, was saddened by the blithe and merry speeches that went from rank to rank. The company wags all made their best endeavors. The regiment tramped to the tune of laughter.
The young man, feeling distant from everyone else, was saddened by the cheerful and joyful banter that flowed from person to person. The jokesters in the group did their best to keep spirits high. The regiment marched along to the sound of laughter.
The blatant soldier often convulsed whole files by his biting sarcasms aimed at the tall one.
The obvious soldier often shook up entire groups with his sharp sarcasm directed at the tall guy.
And it was not long before all the men seemed to forget their mission. Whole brigades grinned in unison, and regiments laughed.
And it didn't take long for all the men to forget their mission. Entire brigades smiled together, and regiments laughed.
A rather fat soldier attempted to pilfer a horse from a dooryard. He planned to load his knapsack upon it. He was escaping with his prize when a young girl rushed from the house and grabbed the animal’s mane. There followed a wrangle. The young girl, with pink cheeks and shining eyes, stood like a dauntless statue.
A rather chubby soldier tried to steal a horse from a yard. He intended to load his backpack on it. He was making his getaway with the horse when a young girl ran out of the house and grabbed the horse's mane. A struggle ensued. The young girl, with rosy cheeks and bright eyes, stood like a fearless statue.
The observant regiment, standing at rest in the roadway, whooped at once, and entered whole-souled upon the side of the maiden. The men became so engrossed in this affair that they entirely ceased to remember their own large war. They jeered the piratical private, and called attention to various defects in his personal appearance; and they were wildly enthusiastic in support of the young girl.
The attentive group of soldiers, standing still on the road, immediately cheered and fully supported the young woman. The men became so wrapped up in this situation that they completely forgot about their own big war. They mocked the shady soldier and pointed out several flaws in his looks, and they were extremely enthusiastic in backing the young girl.
To her, from some distance, came bold advice. “Hit him with a stick.”
To her, from a distance, came confident advice. “Hit him with a stick.”
There were crows and catcalls showered upon him when he retreated without the horse. The regiment rejoiced at his downfall. Loud and vociferous congratulations were showered upon the maiden, who stood panting and regarding the troops with defiance.
There were crows and jeers directed at him when he backed away without the horse. The regiment celebrated his failure. Boisterous and enthusiastic congratulations were given to the girl, who stood breathing heavily and looking defiantly at the troops.
At nightfall the column broke into regimental pieces, and the fragments went into the fields to camp. Tents sprang up like strange plants. Camp fires, like red, peculiar blossoms, dotted the night.
At nightfall, the group split into smaller units, and the fragments moved into the fields to set up camp. Tents popped up like unusual plants. Campfires, resembling red, unusual flowers, speckled the night.
The youth kept from intercourse with his companions as much as circumstances would allow him. In the evening he wandered a few paces into the gloom. From this little distance the many fires, with the black forms of men passing to and fro before the crimson rays, made weird and satanic effects.
The young man distanced himself from his friends as much as he could. In the evening, he stepped a short way into the darkness. From that spot, the many fires, along with the shadowy figures of people moving back and forth in front of the red light, created strange and eerie visuals.
He lay down in the grass. The blades pressed tenderly against his cheek. The moon had been lighted and was hung in a treetop. The liquid stillness of the night enveloping him made him feel vast pity for himself. There was a caress in the soft winds; and the whole mood of the darkness, he thought, was one of sympathy for himself in his distress.
He lay down in the grass. The blades pressed gently against his cheek. The moon was shining and was hanging in a tree. The calm stillness of the night surrounding him made him feel deep pity for himself. There was a gentle touch in the soft winds, and the overall feeling of the darkness, he thought, was one of sympathy for him in his sadness.
He wished, without reserve, that he was at home again making the endless rounds from the house to the barn, from the barn to the fields, from the fields to the barn, from the barn to the house. He remembered he had so often cursed the brindle cow and her mates, and had sometimes flung milking stools. But, from his present point of view, there was a halo of happiness about each of their heads, and he would have sacrificed all the brass buttons on the continent to have been enabled to return to them. He told himself that he was not formed for a soldier. And he mused seriously upon the radical differences between himself and those men who were dodging implike around the fires.
He wished, without hesitation, that he was back home making the endless trips from the house to the barn, from the barn to the fields, from the fields to the barn, and then back to the house. He remembered how often he had cursed the brindle cow and her friends, and how he had sometimes thrown milking stools. But now, from where he stood, there was a glow of happiness around each of their heads, and he would have given up all the brass buttons in the world just to be with them again. He told himself that he wasn't meant to be a soldier. And he seriously contemplated the fundamental differences between himself and those guys who were dodging around the fires.
As he mused thus he heard the rustle of grass, and, upon turning his head, discovered the loud soldier. He called out, “Oh, Wilson!”
As he thought about this, he heard the sound of grass rustling, and when he turned his head, he spotted the loud soldier. He shouted, “Oh, Wilson!”
The latter approached and looked down. “Why, hello, Henry; is it you? What are you doing here?”
The latter came over and looked down. “Hey, Henry; is that you? What are you doing here?”
“Oh, thinking,” said the youth.
“Oh, thinking,” said the kid.
The other sat down and carefully lighted his pipe. “You’re getting blue my boy. You’re looking thundering peek-ed. What the dickens is wrong with you?”
The other sat down and carefully lit his pipe. “You’re looking down, my boy. You look really out of sorts. What on earth is wrong with you?”
“Oh, nothing,” said the youth.
“Nothing much,” said the youth.
The loud soldier launched then into the subject of the anticipated fight. “Oh, we’ve got ’em now!” As he spoke his boyish face was wreathed in a gleeful smile, and his voice had an exultant ring. “We’ve got ’em now. At last, by the eternal thunders, we’ll lick ’em good!”
The loud soldier jumped right into talking about the upcoming fight. “Oh, we’ve got them now!” His youthful face lit up with a joyful smile, and his voice had an excited tone. “We’ve got them now. Finally, by all that’s holy, we’ll beat them good!”
“If the truth was known,” he added, more soberly, “they’ve licked us about every clip up to now; but this time—this time—we’ll lick ’em good!”
“If the truth were known,” he added more seriously, “they’ve beaten us at every turn so far; but this time—this time—we’ll get them good!”
“I thought you was objecting to this march a little while ago,” said the youth coldly.
“I thought you were against this march a little while ago,” said the young man coldly.
“Oh, it wasn’t that,” explained the other. “I don’t mind marching, if there’s going to be fighting at the end of it. What I hate is this getting moved here and moved there, with no good coming of it, as far as I can see, excepting sore feet and damned short rations.”
“Oh, that’s not it,” the other explained. “I don’t mind marching if there’s going to be a fight at the end. What I can’t stand is being shuffled around with no real purpose, as far as I can see, other than sore feet and really short rations.”
“Well, Jim Conklin says we’ll get plenty of fighting this time.”
“Well, Jim Conklin says we’ll have a lot of fighting this time.”
“He’s right for once, I guess, though I can’t see how it come. This time we’re in for a big battle, and we’ve got the best end of it, certain sure. Gee rod! how we will thump ’em!”
"He's actually right this time, I suppose, even though I can't see how it happened. This time we're gearing up for a big battle, and we definitely have the advantage. Wow! Just wait until we get to take them down!"
He arose and began to pace to and fro excitedly. The thrill of his enthusiasm made him walk with an elastic step. He was sprightly, vigorous, fiery in his belief in success. He looked into the future with clear proud eye, and he swore with the air of an old soldier.
He got up and started to pace back and forth excitedly. The thrill of his enthusiasm made him walk with a spring in his step. He was lively, strong, and passionate about his belief in success. He looked into the future with a clear, confident gaze, and he swore like a seasoned soldier.
The youth watched him for a moment in silence. When he finally spoke his voice was as bitter as dregs. “Oh, you’re going to do great things, I s’pose!”
The young people watched him quietly for a moment. When he finally spoke, his voice was as bitter as the last drops in a cup. “Oh, I guess you’re going to do amazing things!”
The loud soldier blew a thoughtful cloud of smoke from his pipe. “Oh, I don’t know,” he remarked with dignity; “I don’t know. I s’pose I’ll do as well as the rest. I’m going to try like thunder.” He evidently complimented himself upon the modesty of this statement.
The loud soldier exhaled a thoughtful puff of smoke from his pipe. “Oh, I don’t know,” he said with a sense of pride; “I don’t know. I guess I’ll do as well as anyone else. I’m going to give it my all.” He clearly took pride in the modesty of his words.
“How do you know you won’t run when the time comes?” asked the youth.
“How do you know you won’t run when the moment arrives?” asked the young man.
“Run?” said the loud one; “run?—of course not!” He laughed.
“Run?” said the loud one; “run?—of course not!” He laughed.
“Well,” continued the youth, “lots of good-a-’nough men have thought they was going to do great things before the fight, but when the time come they skedaddled.”
“Well,” the young man continued, “plenty of decent guys have believed they were going to do amazing things before the fight, but when the moment came, they bolted.”
“Oh, that’s all true, I s’pose,” replied the other; “but I’m not going to skedaddle. The man that bets on my running will lose his money, that’s all.” He nodded confidently.
“Oh, that’s true, I guess,” the other replied; “but I’m not going to run away. Anyone who bets on me will just lose their money, that’s it.” He nodded confidently.
“Oh, shucks!” said the youth. “You ain’t the bravest man in the world, are you?”
“Oh, come on!” said the young man. “You’re not the bravest person in the world, are you?”
“No, I ain’t,” exclaimed the loud soldier indignantly; “and I didn’t say I was the bravest man in the world, neither. I said I was going to do my share of fighting—that’s what I said. And I am, too. Who are you, anyhow? You talk as if you thought you was Napoleon Bonaparte.” He glared at the youth for a moment, and then strode away.
“No, I'm not,” the loud soldier shouted angrily; “and I didn’t say I was the bravest man in the world either. I said I was going to do my part in the fighting—that's what I said. And I will, too. Who are you, anyway? You talk like you think you're Napoleon Bonaparte.” He glared at the young man for a moment, then walked away.
The youth called in a savage voice after his comrade: “Well, you needn’t git mad about it!” But the other continued on his way and made no reply.
The young man shouted in a harsh tone after his friend: “Come on, you don't have to get angry about it!” But the other kept walking and didn't respond.
He felt alone in space when his injured comrade had disappeared. His failure to discover any mite of resemblance in their viewpoints made him more miserable than before. No one seemed to be wrestling with such a terrific personal problem. He was a mental outcast.
He felt isolated in space after his injured teammate vanished. His inability to find any hint of common ground in their perspectives made him even more miserable than before. It seemed like no one else was struggling with such a huge personal issue. He was a mental outcast.
He went slowly to his tent and stretched himself on a blanket by the side of the snoring tall soldier. In the darkness he saw visions of a thousand-tongued fear that would babble at his back and cause him to flee, while others were going coolly about their country’s business. He admitted that he would not be able to cope with this monster. He felt that every nerve in his body would be an ear to hear the voices, while other men would remain stolid and deaf.
He walked slowly to his tent and lay down on a blanket next to the snoring tall soldier. In the dark, he imagined a thousand-tongued fear whispering at his back, urging him to run away, while others went about their duties without a care. He knew he wouldn’t be able to handle this monster. He felt like every nerve in his body was tuned in to the voices, while other men stayed calm and oblivious.
And as he sweated with the pain of these thoughts, he could hear low, serene sentences. “I’ll bid five.” “Make it six.” “Seven.” “Seven goes.”
And as he struggled with the pain from these thoughts, he could hear quiet, calm voices. “I’ll offer five.” “Make it six.” “Seven.” “Seven is accepted.”
He stared at the red, shivering reflection of a fire on the white wall of his tent until, exhausted and ill from the monotony of his suffering, he fell asleep.
He stared at the flickering red glow of the fire on the white wall of his tent until, worn out and sick from the endlessness of his pain, he fell asleep.
Chapter III.
When another night came, the columns, changed to purple streaks, filed across two pontoon bridges. A glaring fire wine-tinted the waters of the river. Its rays, shining upon the moving masses of troops, brought forth here and there sudden gleams of silver or gold. Upon the other shore a dark and mysterious range of hills was curved against the sky. The insect voices of the night sang solemnly.
When another night arrived, the columns, transformed into purple streaks, moved across two pontoon bridges. A bright fire colored the river a wine red. Its light, shining on the flowing masses of troops, created flashes of silver or gold here and there. On the opposite shore, a dark and enigmatic range of hills curved against the sky. The sounds of insects at night sang solemnly.
After this crossing the youth assured himself that at any moment they might be suddenly and fearfully assaulted from the caves of the lowering woods. He kept his eyes watchfully upon the darkness.
After crossing, the young man made sure that at any moment they could be suddenly and terrifyingly attacked from the caves in the gloomy woods. He stayed alert, keeping his eyes on the darkness.
But his regiment went unmolested to a camping place, and its soldiers slept the brave sleep of wearied men. In the morning they were routed out with early energy, and hustled along a narrow road that led deep into the forest.
But his regiment went without disturbance to a campsite, and its soldiers slept the deep sleep of tired men. In the morning, they were awakened with early energy and hurried along a narrow road that led deep into the forest.
It was during this rapid march that the regiment lost many of the marks of a new command.
It was during this quick march that the regiment lost a lot of the signs of being a new command.
The men had begun to count the miles upon their fingers, and they grew tired. “Sore feet an’ damned short rations, that’s all,” said the loud soldier. There was perspiration and grumblings. After a time they began to shed their knapsacks. Some tossed them unconcernedly down; others hid them carefully, asserting their plans to return for them at some convenient time. Men extricated themselves from thick shirts. Presently few carried anything but their necessary clothing, blankets, haversacks, canteens, and arms and ammunition. “You can now eat and shoot,” said the tall soldier to the youth. “That’s all you want to do.”
The men started counting the miles on their fingers and grew tired. "Sore feet and really low rations, that's all," said the loud soldier. There was sweat and muttering. After a while, they began to drop their knapsacks. Some tossed them down without a care; others hid them, insisting they’d come back for them later. Men pulled off their heavy shirts. Soon, very few carried anything but their basic clothing, blankets, haversacks, canteens, and weapons. "Now you can eat and shoot," said the tall soldier to the young man. "That's all you need to do."
There was sudden change from the ponderous infantry of theory to the light and speedy infantry of practice. The regiment, relieved of a burden, received a new impetus. But there was much loss of valuable knapsacks, and, on the whole, very good shirts.
There was a sudden shift from the heavy infantry of theory to the fast and nimble infantry of practice. The regiment, freed from a burden, gained new energy. However, there was a significant loss of valuable backpacks and, overall, very nice shirts.
But the regiment was not yet veteranlike in appearance. Veteran regiments in the army were likely to be very small aggregations of men. Once, when the command had first come to the field, some perambulating veterans, noting the length of their column, had accosted them thus: “Hey, fellers, what brigade is that?” And when the men had replied that they formed a regiment and not a brigade, the older soldiers had laughed, and said, “O Gawd!”
But the regiment didn't look like a bunch of veterans yet. Veteran regiments in the army were usually made up of very few men. Once, when the command first arrived in the field, some wandering veterans noticed how long their column was and asked, “Hey, guys, what brigade is that?” When the men replied that they were a regiment and not a brigade, the older soldiers laughed and said, “Oh God!”
Also, there was too great a similarity in the hats. The hats of a regiment should properly represent the history of headgear for a period of years. And, moreover, there were no letters of faded gold speaking from the colors. They were new and beautiful, and the color bearer habitually oiled the pole.
Also, there was too much similarity in the hats. The hats of a regiment should properly reflect the history of headgear over the years. Furthermore, there were no faded gold letters standing out from the colors. They were new and beautiful, and the color bearer regularly oiled the pole.
Presently the army again sat down to think. The odor of the peaceful pines was in the men’s nostrils. The sound of monotonous axe blows rang through the forest, and the insects, nodding upon their perches, crooned like old women. The youth returned to his theory of a blue demonstration.
Currently, the army settled down to think again. The scent of the tranquil pines filled the men’s nostrils. The rhythmic sound of axes chopping echoed through the forest, and the insects, resting on their spots, buzzed like old women. The young man returned to his idea of a blue demonstration.
One gray dawn, however, he was kicked in the leg by the tall soldier, and then, before he was entirely awake, he found himself running down a wood road in the midst of men who were panting from the first effects of speed. His canteen banged rythmically upon his thigh, and his haversack bobbed softly. His musket bounced a trifle from his shoulder at each stride and made his cap feel uncertain upon his head.
One gray dawn, though, a tall soldier kicked him in the leg, and before he was fully awake, he found himself running down a wooded road among men who were gasping from the sudden exertion. His canteen thumped rhythmically against his thigh, and his haversack swayed gently. His musket jolted slightly from his shoulder with each step, making his cap feel unsteady on his head.
He could hear the men whisper jerky sentences: “Say—what’s all this—about?” “What th’ thunder—we—skedaddlin’ this way fer?” “Billie—keep off m’ feet. Yeh run—like a cow.” And the loud soldier’s shrill voice could be heard: “What th’ devil they in sich a hurry for?”
He could hear the guys whispering choppy sentences: “Hey—what’s going on here?” “What the thunder—are we running this way for?” “Billie—stay off my feet. You run like a cow.” And the loud soldier’s high-pitched voice could be heard: “What the devil are they in such a hurry for?”
The youth thought the damp fog of early morning moved from the rush of a great body of troops. From the distance came a sudden spatter of firing.
The young person thought the damp fog of early morning was created by the movement of a large group of soldiers. In the distance, there was a sudden burst of gunfire.
He was bewildered. As he ran with his comrades he strenuously tried to think, but all he knew was that if he fell down those coming behind would tread upon him. All his faculties seemed to be needed to guide him over and past obstructions. He felt carried along by a mob.
He was confused. As he ran with his friends, he desperately tried to think, but all he knew was that if he fell, those behind him would step on him. He needed all his focus to navigate around obstacles. He felt like he was being carried along by a crowd.
The sun spread disclosing rays, and, one by one, regiments burst into view like armed men just born of the earth. The youth perceived that the time had come. He was about to be measured. For a moment he felt in the face of his great trial like a babe, and the flesh over his heart seemed very thin. He seized time to look about him calculatingly.
The sun spread its revealing rays, and, one by one, groups of soldiers appeared like warriors just emerging from the ground. The young man realized that the moment had arrived. He was about to be tested. For a moment, he felt vulnerable in the face of this significant challenge, as if he were a child, and the skin over his heart felt very fragile. He took a moment to look around him thoughtfully.
But he instantly saw that it would be impossible for him to escape from the regiment. It inclosed him. And there were iron laws of tradition and law on four sides. He was in a moving box.
But he quickly realized that escaping from the regiment was impossible. It surrounded him. And there were strict traditions and laws on all sides. He was trapped in a moving box.
As he perceived this fact it occurred to him that he had never wished to come to the war. He had not enlisted of his free will. He had been dragged by the merciless government. And now they were taking him out to be slaughtered.
As he realized this, it struck him that he had never wanted to go to war. He hadn’t signed up willingly. He had been forced by the ruthless government. And now they were sending him out to be killed.
The regiment slid down a bank and wallowed across a little stream. The mournful current moved slowly on, and from the water, shaded black, some white bubble eyes looked at the men.
The regiment slid down a bank and trudged across a small stream. The sad current flowed slowly by, and from the dark, shaded water, some white bubble eyes watched the men.
As they climbed the hill on the farther side artillery began to boom. Here the youth forgot many things as he felt a sudden impulse of curiosity. He scrambled up the bank with a speed that could not be exceeded by a bloodthirsty man.
As they climbed the hill on the other side, cannon fire started to roar. In that moment, the young man lost track of many thoughts as he was hit with a sudden urge to explore. He hurried up the slope with a speed that couldn't be matched by a bloodthirsty person.
He expected a battle scene.
He expected a fight scene.
There were some little fields girted and squeezed by a forest. Spread over the grass and in among the tree trunks, he could see knots and waving lines of skirmishers who were running hither and thither and firing at the landscape. A dark battle line lay upon a sunstruck clearing that gleamed orange color. A flag fluttered.
There were a few small fields surrounded and squeezed by a forest. Scattered across the grass and around the tree trunks, he could see clusters and moving lines of fighters darting back and forth, shooting at the landscape. A dark line of battle was drawn across a sunlit clearing that shone with an orange hue. A flag waved.
Other regiments floundered up the bank. The brigade was formed in line of battle, and after a pause started slowly through the woods in the rear of the receding skirmishers, who were continually melting into the scene to appear again farther on. They were always busy as bees, deeply absorbed in their little combats.
Other regiments struggled up the bank. The brigade lined up for battle and, after a brief pause, began moving slowly through the woods behind the retreating skirmishers, who were constantly blending into the surroundings only to reappear further ahead. They were always busy like bees, completely focused on their small-scale fights.
The youth tried to observe everything. He did not use care to avoid trees and branches, and his forgotten feet were constantly knocking against stones or getting entangled in briers. He was aware that these battalions with their commotions were woven red and startling into the gentle fabric of softened greens and browns. It looked to be a wrong place for a battle field.
The young man tried to take it all in. He didn’t bother to dodge the trees and branches, and his unaware feet kept bumping into stones or getting caught in thorns. He noticed that these groups, with all their noise and chaos, were woven in bright red against the soft greens and browns around him. It seemed like the wrong place for a battlefield.
The skirmishers in advance fascinated him. Their shots into thickets and at distant and prominent trees spoke to him of tragedies—hidden, mysterious, solemn.
The skirmishers in front intrigued him. Their shots into bushes and at far-off, striking trees hinted at tragedies—hidden, mysterious, serious.
Once the line encountered the body of a dead soldier. He lay upon his back staring at the sky. He was dressed in an awkward suit of yellowish brown. The youth could see that the soles of his shoes had been worn to the thinness of writing paper, and from a great rent in one the dead foot projected piteously. And it was as if fate had betrayed the soldier. In death it exposed to his enemies that poverty which in life he had perhaps concealed from his friends.
Once the line came across the body of a dead soldier. He was lying on his back, staring at the sky. He wore an odd suit of yellowish brown. The young man could see that the soles of his shoes were worn down to the thinness of writing paper, and from a large tear in one, the dead foot protruded sadly. It felt as though fate had betrayed the soldier. In death, it revealed to his enemies the poverty he may have hidden from his friends in life.
The ranks opened covertly to avoid the corpse. The invulnerable dead man forced a way for himself. The youth looked keenly at the ashen face. The wind raised the tawny beard. It moved as if a hand were stroking it. He vaguely desired to walk around and around the body and stare; the impulse of the living to try to read in dead eyes the answer to the Question.
The ranks opened quietly to avoid the body. The unyielding dead man made a path for himself. The young man stared closely at the pale face. The wind lifted the brown beard, making it look like a hand was caressing it. He felt a vague urge to circle the body and look closely; the instinct of the living trying to discern answers in the lifeless eyes.
During the march the ardor which the youth had acquired when out of view of the field rapidly faded to nothing. His curiosity was quite easily satisfied. If an intense scene had caught him with its wild swing as he came to the top of the bank, he might have gone roaring on. This advance upon Nature was too calm. He had opportunity to reflect. He had time in which to wonder about himself and to attempt to probe his sensations.
During the march, the excitement the young man had felt when he was away from the battlefield quickly disappeared. His curiosity was easily satisfied. If an intense scene had captivated him with its wild energy as he reached the top of the hill, he might have charged ahead. However, this approach to nature felt too tranquil. He had the chance to think. He had time to contemplate himself and to try to understand his feelings.
Absurd ideas took hold upon him. He thought that he did not relish the landscape. It threatened him. A coldness swept over his back, and it is true that his trousers felt to him that they were no fit for his legs at all.
Absurd ideas took hold of him. He felt like he didn’t enjoy the landscape. It felt threatening. A chill ran down his back, and it was true that his pants felt completely wrong for his legs.
A house standing placidly in distant fields had to him an ominous look. The shadows of the woods were formidable. He was certain that in this vista there lurked fierce-eyed hosts. The swift thought came to him that the generals did not know what they were about. It was all a trap. Suddenly those close forests would bristle with rifle barrels. Ironlike brigades would appear in the rear. They were all going to be sacrificed. The generals were stupids. The enemy would presently swallow the whole command. He glared about him, expecting to see the stealthy approach of his death.
A house sitting quietly in the far fields looked ominous to him. The shadows of the woods were intimidating. He was sure that fierce-eyed enemies were hiding in this landscape. It suddenly struck him that the generals were clueless. It was all a trap. Those nearby forests would suddenly be filled with gun barrels. Ironclad brigades would show up from behind. They were all going to be sacrificed. The generals were idiots. The enemy would soon wipe out the entire unit. He scanned his surroundings, expecting to see the stealthy approach of his death.
He thought that he must break from the ranks and harangue his comrades. They must not all be killed like pigs; and he was sure it would come to pass unless they were informed of these dangers. The generals were idiots to send them marching into a regular pen. There was but one pair of eyes in the corps. He would step forth and make a speech. Shrill and passionate words came to his lips.
He thought he had to break away from the group and rally his teammates. They shouldn’t all be slaughtered like animals; he was certain that would happen unless they were made aware of these dangers. The generals were fools for sending them marching into a trap. There was only one person in the unit who could see the truth. He would step forward and give a speech. Intense and passionate words were ready on his lips.
The line, broken into moving fragments by the ground, went calmly on through fields and woods. The youth looked at the men nearest him, and saw, for the most part, expressions of deep interest, as if they were investigating something that had fascinated them. One or two stepped with overvaliant airs as if they were already plunged into war. Others walked as upon thin ice. The greater part of the untested men appeared quiet and absorbed. They were going to look at war, the red animal—war, the blood-swollen god. And they were deeply engrossed in this march.
The line, broken into moving pieces by the ground, moved steadily through fields and woods. The young man looked at the men closest to him and noticed that most had expressions of intense curiosity, as if they were exploring something that captivated them. A few walked with a false bravado as if they were already in the midst of battle. Others walked as if on thin ice. The majority of the inexperienced men seemed calm and focused. They were about to witness war, the brutal beast—war, the blood-soaked god. And they were completely absorbed in this march.
As he looked the youth gripped his outcry at his throat. He saw that even if the men were tottering with fear they would laugh at his warning. They would jeer him, and, if practicable, pelt him with missiles. Admitting that he might be wrong, a frenzied declamation of the kind would turn him into a worm.
As he looked, the young man held back his shout. He realized that even if the men were shaking with fear, they would mock his warning. They would jeer at him, and, if possible, throw things at him. Accepting that he might be mistaken, a wild speech like that would make him feel worthless.
He assumed, then, the demeanor of one who knows that he is doomed alone to unwritten responsibilities. He lagged, with tragic glances at the sky.
He took on the attitude of someone who understands that he is stuck with unspoken responsibilities. He fell behind, casting sorrowful looks at the sky.
He was surprised presently by the young lieutenant of his company, who began heartily to beat him with a sword, calling out in a loud and insolent voice: “Come, young man, get up into ranks there. No skulking ’ll do here.” He mended his pace with suitable haste. And he hated the lieutenant, who had no appreciation of fine minds. He was a mere brute.
He was soon surprised by the young lieutenant of his company, who started to hit him with a sword, shouting in a loud and disrespectful tone: “Come on, kid, get in line. No hiding out will work here.” He picked up his pace with appropriate urgency. And he despised the lieutenant, who had no respect for intelligent people. He was just a brute.
After a time the brigade was halted in the cathedral light of a forest. The busy skirmishers were still popping. Through the aisles of the wood could be seen the floating smoke from their rifles. Sometimes it went up in little balls, white and compact.
After a while, the brigade stopped in the soft light of a forest. The active skirmishers were still firing. Through the gaps in the trees, you could see the smoke from their rifles drifting. Sometimes it rose in small, tight white puffs.
During this halt many men in the regiment began erecting tiny hills in front of them. They used stones, sticks, earth, and anything they thought might turn a bullet. Some built comparatively large ones, while others seems content with little ones.
During this break, many guys in the regiment started piling up small mounds in front of them. They used stones, sticks, dirt, and anything else they thought could stop a bullet. Some built relatively big ones, while others seemed happy with smaller ones.
This procedure caused a discussion among the men. Some wished to fight like duelists, believing it to be correct to stand erect and be, from their feet to their foreheads, a mark. They said they scorned the devices of the cautious. But the others scoffed in reply, and pointed to the veterans on the flanks who were digging at the ground like terriers. In a short time there was quite a barricade along the regimental fronts. Directly, however, they were ordered to withdraw from that place.
This procedure sparked a debate among the men. Some wanted to fight like duelists, thinking it was proper to stand tall and be a target from their feet to their foreheads. They said they looked down on the tactics of the cautious. But the others laughed in response and pointed to the veterans on the sides who were digging into the ground like terriers. Before long, there was quite a barricade along the front lines of the regiment. However, they were soon ordered to pull back from that spot.
This astounded the youth. He forgot his stewing over the advance movement. “Well, then, what did they march us out here for?” he demanded of the tall soldier. The latter with calm faith began a heavy explanation, although he had been compelled to leave a little protection of stones and dirt to which he had devoted much care and skill.
This shocked the young man. He forgot about his frustrations with the advance. "Well, then, why did they bring us out here?" he asked the tall soldier. The soldier, with steady assurance, began to give a detailed explanation, even though he had to leave behind the small shelter of stones and dirt that he had worked hard on.
When the regiment was aligned in another position each man’s regard for his safety caused another line of small intrenchments. They ate their noon meal behind a third one. They were moved from this one also. They were marched from place to place with apparent aimlessness.
When the regiment was set up in a different position, each soldier's concern for their safety led to the creation of another line of small trenches. They had their lunch behind a third one. They were moved from this one as well. They were marched from one spot to another with seemingly no clear purpose.
The youth had been taught that a man became another thing in battle. He saw his salvation in such a change. Hence this waiting was an ordeal to him. He was in a fever of impatience. He considered that there was denoted a lack of purpose on the part of the generals. He began to complain to the tall soldier. “I can’t stand this much longer,” he cried. “I don’t see what good it does to make us wear out our legs for nothin’.” He wished to return to camp, knowing that this affair was a blue demonstration; or else to go into a battle and discover that he had been a fool in his doubts, and was, in truth, a man of traditional courage. The strain of present circumstances he felt to be intolerable.
The young man had been taught that a person transformed in battle. He viewed this transformation as his salvation. So, this waiting was torturous for him. He was restless and impatient. He thought it showed a lack of direction from the generals. He started to vent to the tall soldier. “I can’t take this much longer,” he exclaimed. “I don’t understand what good it does to make us wear ourselves out for nothing.” He wanted to go back to camp, knowing this situation was meaningless; or he wished to go into battle and find out that he had been foolish in his doubts and was, in fact, a man of true courage. The pressure of the current situation felt unbearable to him.
The philosophical tall soldier measured a sandwich of cracker and pork and swallowed it in a nonchalant manner. “Oh, I suppose we must go reconnoitering around the country jest to keep ’em from getting too close, or to develop ’em, or something.”
The thoughtful tall soldier took a bite of his cracker and pork sandwich and swallowed it casually. “Well, I guess we should go exploring around the area just to keep them from getting too close, or to figure them out, or something.”
“Huh!” said the loud soldier.
“Whoa!” said the loud soldier.
“Well,” cried the youth, still fidgeting, “I’d rather do anything ’most than go tramping ’round the country all day doing no good to nobody and jest tiring ourselves out.”
“Well,” the young man exclaimed, still restless, “I’d rather do almost anything than wander around the countryside all day, not helping anyone and just wearing ourselves out.”
“So would I,” said the loud soldier. “It ain’t right. I tell you if anybody with any sense was a-runnin’ this army it—”
“So would I,” said the loud soldier. “It’s not right. I’m telling you, if anyone sensible was in charge of this army, it—”
“Oh, shut up!” roared the tall private. “You little fool. You little damn’ cuss. You ain’t had that there coat and them pants on for six months, and yet you talk as if—”
“Oh, shut up!” yelled the tall private. “You little fool. You little damn brat. You haven’t even had that coat and those pants on for six months, and yet you talk as if—”
“Well, I wanta do some fighting anyway,” interrupted the other. “I didn’t come here to walk. I could ’ave walked to home—’round an’ ’round the barn, if I jest wanted to walk.”
“Well, I want to do some fighting anyway,” interrupted the other. “I didn’t come here to just walk. I could have walked home—around and around the barn, if that’s all I wanted to do.”
The tall one, red-faced, swallowed another sandwich as if taking poison in despair.
The tall guy, his face red, gulped down another sandwich like it was poison in his frustration.
But gradually, as he chewed, his face became again quiet and contented. He could not rage in fierce argument in the presence of such sandwiches. During his meals he always wore an air of blissful contemplation of the food he had swallowed. His spirit seemed then to be communing with the viands.
But slowly, as he chewed, his expression turned calm and satisfied again. He couldn’t get angry in a heated discussion when faced with such sandwiches. While eating, he always had a look of blissful contemplation about the food he had consumed. It seemed like his spirit was connecting with the dishes.
He accepted new environment and circumstance with great coolness, eating from his haversack at every opportunity. On the march he went along with the stride of a hunter, objecting to neither gait nor distance. And he had not raised his voice when he had been ordered away from three little protective piles of earth and stone, each of which had been an engineering feat worthy of being made sacred to the name of his grandmother.
He took on the new environment and situation with impressive calm, eating from his pack whenever he could. While marching, he moved like a hunter, complaining about neither the pace nor the distance. He didn't raise his voice when he was told to leave behind three small protective mounds of earth and stone, each one a remarkable engineering achievement deserving of his grandmother's name.
In the afternoon, the regiment went out over the same ground it had taken in the morning. The landscape then ceased to threaten the youth. He had been close to it and become familiar with it.
In the afternoon, the regiment went over the same ground it had covered in the morning. The landscape no longer intimidated the young man. He had been close to it and had gotten used to it.
When, however, they began to pass into a new region, his old fears of stupidity and incompetence reassailed him, but this time he doggedly let them babble. He was occupied with his problem, and in his desperation he concluded that the stupidity did not greatly matter.
When they started to enter a new area, his old fears of being dumb and incompetent came back, but this time he stubbornly let them chatter on. He was focused on his issue, and in his frustration, he decided that the stupidity wasn’t that important.
Once he thought he had concluded that it would be better to get killed directly and end his troubles. Regarding death thus out of the corner of his eye, he conceived it to be nothing but rest, and he was filled with a momentary astonishment that he should have made an extraordinary commotion over the mere matter of getting killed. He would die; he would go to some place where he would be understood. It was useless to expect appreciation of his profound and fine sense from such men as the lieutenant. He must look to the grave for comprehension.
Once he thought he had decided that it would be better to just get killed and end his troubles. Looking at death from the sidelines, he saw it as nothing more than rest, and he felt a brief shock that he had made such a big deal over the simple idea of dying. He would die; he would go somewhere he would be understood. It was pointless to expect any appreciation for his deep and refined thoughts from men like the lieutenant. He had to turn to the grave for understanding.
The skirmish fire increased to a long clattering sound. With it was mingled far-away cheering. A battery spoke.
The sound of gunfire turned into a long, rattling noise. Along with it came distant cheers. A battery fired.
Directly the youth could see the skirmishers running. They were pursued by the sound of musketry fire. After a time the hot, dangerous flashes of the rifles were visible. Smoke clouds went slowly and insolently across the fields like observant phantoms. The din became crescendo, like the roar of an oncoming train.
Directly, the young man could see the skirmishers running. They were being chased by the sound of gunfire. After a while, the bright, dangerous flashes from the rifles became visible. Smoke clouds drifted slowly and defiantly across the fields like watchful ghosts. The noise grew louder, like the roar of an approaching train.
A brigade ahead of them and on the right went into action with a rending roar. It was as if it had exploded. And thereafter it lay stretched in the distance behind a long gray wall, that one was obliged to look twice at to make sure that it was smoke.
A brigade ahead of them and to the right sprang into action with a deafening roar. It was like it had gone off with a bang. After that, it lay spread out in the distance behind a long gray wall, one that you had to look at twice to be sure it was smoke.
The youth, forgetting his neat plan of getting killed, gazed spell bound. His eyes grew wide and busy with the action of the scene. His mouth was a little ways open.
The young man, forgetting his well-thought-out plan to die, stared in awe. His eyes widened and were filled with the movement of the scene. His mouth hung slightly open.
Of a sudden he felt a heavy and sad hand laid upon his shoulder. Awakening from his trance of observation he turned and beheld the loud soldier.
Suddenly, he felt a heavy, sad hand on his shoulder. Shaking off his trance of observation, he turned and saw the loud soldier.
“It’s my first and last battle, old boy,” said the latter, with intense gloom. He was quite pale and his girlish lip was trembling.
“It’s my first and last battle, man,” said the latter, with deep sadness. He looked pretty pale and his soft lips were shaking.
“Eh?” murmured the youth in great astonishment.
"Wait, what?" the young man said, clearly surprised.
“It’s my first and last battle, old boy,” continued the loud soldier. “Something tells me—”
“It’s my first and last battle, buddy,” continued the loud soldier. “Something tells me—”
“What?”
“Wait, what?”
“I’m a gone coon this first time and—and I w-want you to take these here things—to—my—folks.” He ended in a quavering sob of pity for himself. He handed the youth a little packet done up in a yellow envelope.
“I’m a goner this first time and—and I w-want you to take these things—to—my—family.” He finished with a shaky sob of self-pity. He handed the young man a small packet wrapped in a yellow envelope.
“Why, what the devil—” began the youth again.
“Why, what the hell—” began the young man again.
But the other gave him a glance as from the depths of a tomb, and raised his limp hand in a prophetic manner and turned away.
But the other looked at him like he was staring from the depths of a grave, raised his weak hand in a prophetic way, and turned away.
Chapter IV.
The brigade was halted in the fringe of a grove. The men crouched among the trees and pointed their restless guns out at the fields. They tried to look beyond the smoke.
The brigade stopped at the edge of a grove. The men crouched among the trees and aimed their restless guns at the fields. They tried to see past the smoke.
Out of this haze they could see running men. Some shouted information and gestured as they hurried.
Out of this haze, they could see men running. Some shouted information and waved their arms as they rushed.
The men of the new regiment watched and listened eagerly, while their tongues ran on in gossip of the battle. They mouthed rumors that had flown like birds out of the unknown.
The guys in the new regiment watched and listened intently as they chatted excitedly about the battle. They repeated rumors that had spread like wildfire from the unknown.
“They say Perry has been driven in with big loss.”
“They say Perry has come back after a significant loss.”
“Yes, Carrott went t’ th’ hospital. He said he was sick. That smart lieutenant is commanding ‘G’ Company. Th’ boys say they won’t be under Carrott no more if they all have t’ desert. They allus knew he was a—”
“Yes, Carrott went to the hospital. He said he was sick. That sharp lieutenant is in charge of 'G' Company. The guys say they won’t serve under Carrott anymore, even if it means they have to desert. They always knew he was a—”
“Hannises’ batt’ry is took.”
“Hannises’ battery is taken.”
“It ain’t either. I saw Hannises’ batt’ry off on th’ left not more’n fifteen minutes ago.”
“It’s not. I saw Hannis's battery over on the left just fifteen minutes ago.”
“Well—”
"Well..."
“Th’ general, he ses he is goin’ t’ take th’ hull command of th’ 304th when we go inteh action, an’ then he ses we’ll do sech fightin’ as never another one reg’ment done.”
“The general says he is going to take full command of the 304th when we go into action, and then he says we’ll fight like no other regiment has ever fought.”
“They say we’re catchin’ it over on th’ left. They say th’ enemy driv’ our line inteh a devil of a swamp an’ took Hannises’ batt’ry.”
“They say we’re in trouble over on the left. They say the enemy pushed our line into a terrible swamp and took Hannis’s battery.”
“No sech thing. Hannises’ batt’ry was ’long here ’bout a minute ago.”
“No such thing. Hannises' battery was right here about a minute ago.”
“That young Hasbrouck, he makes a good off’cer. He ain’t afraid ’a nothin’.”
“That young Hasbrouck, he makes a good officer. He isn’t afraid of anything.”
“I met one of th’ 148th Maine boys an’ he ses his brigade fit th’ hull rebel army fer four hours over on th’ turnpike road an’ killed about five thousand of ’em. He ses one more sech fight as that an’ th’ war ’ll be over.”
“I met one of the 148th Maine guys, and he said his brigade fought the entire rebel army for four hours on the turnpike road and killed around five thousand of them. He said one more fight like that and the war will be over.”
“Bill wasn’t scared either. No, sir! It wasn’t that. Bill ain’t a-gittin’ scared easy. He was jest mad, that’s what he was. When that feller trod on his hand, he up an’ sed that he was willin’ t’ give his hand t’ his country, but he be dumbed if he was goin’ t’ have every dumb bushwhacker in th’ kentry walkin’ ’round on it. So he went t’ th’ hospital disregardless of th’ fight. Three fingers was crunched. Th’ dern doctor wanted t’ amputate ’m, an’ Bill, he raised a heluva row, I hear. He’s a funny feller.”
"Bill wasn't scared either. No way! That wasn't it. Bill doesn't get scared easily. He was just mad, that's all. When that guy stepped on his hand, he said he was willing to give his hand to his country, but he was damned if he was going to let every stupid bushwhacker in the country walk all over it. So he went to the hospital despite the fight. Three fingers were crushed. The darn doctor wanted to amputate them, and Bill, he caused a huge scene, I hear. He's a funny guy."
The din in front swelled to a tremendous chorus. The youth and his fellows were frozen to silence. They could see a flag that tossed in the smoke angrily. Near it were the blurred and agitated forms of troops. There came a turbulent stream of men across the fields. A battery changing position at a frantic gallop scattered the stragglers right and left.
The noise in front grew into a huge chorus. The young man and his friends were struck silent. They could see a flag angrily waving in the smoke. Nearby were the blurry, restless shapes of soldiers. A chaotic stream of men crossed the fields. A battery changing position at a frantic gallop scattered the stragglers in every direction.
A shell screaming like a storm banshee went over the huddled heads of the reserves. It landed in the grove, and exploding redly flung the brown earth. There was a little shower of pine needles.
A shell screamed like a banshee in a storm as it flew over the huddled heads of the reserves. It landed in the grove, exploding in a burst of red and throwing brown earth everywhere. A few pine needles fell down.
Bullets began to whistle among the branches and nip at the trees. Twigs and leaves came sailing down. It was as if a thousand axes, wee and invisible, were being wielded. Many of the men were constantly dodging and ducking their heads.
Bullets started whistling through the branches and hitting the trees. Twigs and leaves came falling down. It felt like a thousand tiny, invisible axes were at work. Many of the men kept dodging and ducking their heads.
The lieutenant of the youth’s company was shot in the hand. He began to swear so wondrously that a nervous laugh went along the regimental line. The officer’s profanity sounded conventional. It relieved the tightened senses of the new men. It was as if he had hit his fingers with a tack hammer at home.
The lieutenant of the youth's company was shot in the hand. He started swearing so impressively that a nervous laugh spread along the regimental line. The officer's swearing felt normal. It eased the tension for the new recruits. It was like he had just smashed his fingers with a hammer at home.
He held the wounded member carefully away from his side so that the blood would not drip upon his trousers.
He held the injured arm carefully away from his side so that the blood wouldn't drip on his pants.
The captain of the company, tucking his sword under his arm, produced a handkerchief and began to bind with it the lieutenant’s wound. And they disputed as to how the binding should be done.
The captain of the company, tucking his sword under his arm, took out a handkerchief and started wrapping it around the lieutenant’s wound. They argued about how the bandaging should be done.
The battle flag in the distance jerked about madly. It seemed to be struggling to free itself from an agony. The billowing smoke was filled with horizontal flashes.
The battle flag in the distance waved wildly. It looked like it was trying to break free from some kind of pain. The swirling smoke was filled with horizontal flashes.
Men rushing swiftly emerged from it. They grew in numbers until it was seen that the whole command was fleeing. The flag suddenly sank down as if dying. Its motion as it fell was a gesture of despair.
Men rushed out quickly. They multiplied in number until it became clear that the entire unit was retreating. The flag suddenly dropped as if it were dying. Its fall was a gesture of despair.
Wild yells came from behind the walls of smoke. A sketch in gray and red dissolved into a moblike body of men who galloped like wild horses. The veteran regiments on the right and left of the 304th immediately began to jeer. With the passionate song of the bullets and the banshee shrieks of shells were mingled loud catcalls and bits of facetious advice concerning places of safety.
Wild shouts erupted from behind the smoke. A blurry image in gray and red broke apart into a crowd of men who charged forward like wild horses. The veteran regiments on both sides of the 304th instantly started to mock them. Amid the intense sound of bullets and the wailing of shells, loud catcalls and sarcastic suggestions about safe spots blended into the chaos.
But the new regiment was breathless with horror. “Gawd! Saunders’s got crushed!” whispered the man at the youth’s elbow. They shrank back and crouched as if compelled to await a flood.
But the new regiment was filled with terror. "God! Saunders got crushed!" whispered the man next to the young soldier. They recoiled and huddled together as if forced to brace for a flood.
The youth shot a swift glance along the blue ranks of the regiment. The profiles were motionless, carven; and afterward he remembered that the color sergeant was standing with his legs apart, as if he expected to be pushed to the ground.
The young soldier shot a quick look along the blue lines of the regiment. The faces were still and rigid; later he recalled that the color sergeant was standing with his legs apart, as if he was ready to be knocked down.
The following throng went whirling around the flank. Here and there were officers carried along on the stream like exasperated chips. They were striking about them with their swords and with their left fists, punching every head they could reach. They cursed like highwaymen.
The crowd surged around the side. Here and there, officers were caught up in the chaos like frustrated debris. They were swinging their swords and throwing punches with their left fists, hitting every head they could reach. They cursed like outlaws.
A mounted officer displayed the furious anger of a spoiled child. He raged with his head, his arms, and his legs.
A mounted officer showed the intense anger of a spoiled child. He was furious with his head, arms, and legs.
Another, the commander of the brigade, was galloping about bawling. His hat was gone and his clothes were awry. He resembled a man who has come from bed to go to a fire. The hoofs of his horse often threatened the heads of the running men, but they scampered with singular fortune. In this rush they were apparently all deaf and blind. They heeded not the largest and longest of the oaths that were thrown at them from all directions.
Another, the commander of the brigade, was riding around shouting. His hat was missing and his clothes were disheveled. He looked like someone who had just gotten out of bed to respond to a fire. The hooves of his horse often came close to the heads of the fleeing men, but they managed to escape with remarkable luck. In this chaos, they seemed completely deaf and blind. They paid no attention to the loudest and longest curses being shouted at them from every direction.
Frequently over this tumult could be heard the grim jokes of the critical veterans; but the retreating men apparently were not even conscious of the presence of an audience.
Frequently over this chaos, the harsh jokes of the seasoned veterans could be heard; however, the retreating soldiers seemed completely unaware of the audience around them.
The battle reflection that shone for an instant in the faces on the mad current made the youth feel that forceful hands from heaven would not have been able to have held him in place if he could have got intelligent control of his legs.
The battle reflection that flickered for a moment in the faces on the wild current made the young man feel that strong hands from above wouldn’t have been able to keep him in place if he could have gained control of his legs.
There was an appalling imprint upon these faces. The struggle in the smoke had pictured an exaggeration of itself on the bleached cheeks and in the eyes wild with one desire.
There was a shocking mark on these faces. The fight in the smoke had left a heightened image of itself on the pale cheeks and in the eyes wild with a single longing.
The sight of this stampede exerted a floodlike force that seemed able to drag sticks and stones and men from the ground. They of the reserves had to hold on. They grew pale and firm, and red and quaking.
The sight of this stampede unleashed a powerful force that seemed capable of pulling sticks, stones, and people off the ground. Those in the reserves had to hold on tight. They became pale and tense, then flushed and trembling.
The youth achieved one little thought in the midst of this chaos. The composite monster which had caused the other troops to flee had not then appeared. He resolved to get a view of it, and then, he thought he might very likely run better than the best of them.
The young man had one clear idea amid the chaos. The strange creature that had made the others run away hadn't shown up yet. He decided he wanted to see it, and then he figured he might be able to run faster than anyone else.
Chapter V.
There were moments of waiting. The youth thought of the village street at home before the arrival of the circus parade on a day in the spring. He remembered how he had stood, a small, thrillful boy, prepared to follow the dingy lady upon the white horse, or the band in its faded chariot. He saw the yellow road, the lines of expectant people, and the sober houses. He particularly remembered an old fellow who used to sit upon a cracker box in front of the store and feign to despise such exhibitions. A thousand details of color and form surged in his mind. The old fellow upon the cracker box appeared in middle prominence.
There were moments of waiting. The young man thought about the village street back home before the circus parade arrived one spring day. He remembered standing there as a small, excited boy, ready to follow the tattered lady on the white horse or the band in its worn-out chariot. He could picture the yellow road, the lines of eager people, and the serious houses. He especially recalled an old guy who used to sit on a cracker box in front of the store and pretend to look down on such events. A thousand details of color and shape flooded his mind. The old guy on the cracker box stood out in his memory.
Some one cried, “Here they come!”
“Here they come!” someone shouted.
There was rustling and muttering among the men. They displayed a feverish desire to have every possible cartridge ready to their hands. The boxes were pulled around into various positions, and adjusted with great care. It was as if seven hundred new bonnets were being tried on.
There was a lot of noise and murmuring among the men. They showed an intense eagerness to have every possible cartridge within reach. The boxes were moved around into different positions and adjusted carefully. It was like seven hundred new hats were being tried on.
The tall soldier, having prepared his rifle, produced a red handkerchief of some kind. He was engaged in knotting it about his throat with exquisite attention to its position, when the cry was repeated up and down the line in a muffled roar of sound.
The tall soldier, having ready his rifle, pulled out a red handkerchief. He was carefully tying it around his neck when the cry echoed up and down the line in a muffled roar.
“Here they come! Here they come!” Gun locks clicked.
“Here they come! Here they come!” Gun locks clicked.
Across the smoke-infested fields came a brown swarm of running men who were giving shrill yells. They came on, stooping and swinging their rifles at all angles. A flag, tilted forward, sped near the front.
Across the smoke-filled fields came a brown swarm of running men, shouting loudly. They advanced, bent over and swinging their rifles in all directions. A flag, leaning forward, rushed ahead.
As he caught sight of them the youth was momentarily startled by a thought that perhaps his gun was not loaded. He stood trying to rally his faltering intellect so that he might recollect the moment when he had loaded, but he could not.
As he saw them, the young man was briefly shocked by the thought that maybe his gun wasn't loaded. He stood there trying to collect his confused thoughts to remember when he had loaded it, but he couldn't.
A hatless general pulled his dripping horse to a stand near the colonel of the 304th. He shook his fist in the other’s face. “You’ve got to hold ’em back!” he shouted, savagely; “you’ve got to hold ’em back!”
A hatless general brought his dripping horse to a stop near the colonel of the 304th. He shook his fist in the other man's face. “You have to hold them back!” he shouted angrily; “you have to hold them back!”
In his agitation the colonel began to stammer. “A-all r-right, General, all right, by Gawd! We-we’ll do our—we-we’ll d-d-do-do our best, General.” The general made a passionate gesture and galloped away. The colonel, perchance to relieve his feelings, began to scold like a wet parrot. The youth, turning swiftly to make sure that the rear was unmolested, saw the commander regarding his men in a highly resentful manner, as if he regretted above everything his association with them.
In his agitation, the colonel started to stammer. “A-all r-right, General, all right, by God! W-we’ll do our—we’ll d-d-do our best, General.” The general made an intense gesture and rode off. The colonel, perhaps to vent his frustration, began to scold like a soaked parrot. The young soldier, quickly glancing back to ensure the rear was safe, saw the commander looking at his men with a strong sense of resentment, as if he deeply regretted being associated with them.
The man at the youth’s elbow was mumbling, as if to himself: “Oh, we’re in for it now! oh, we’re in for it now!”
The guy next to the young man was mumbling, almost to himself: “Oh, we’re in big trouble now! oh, we’re in big trouble now!”
The captain of the company had been pacing excitedly to and fro in the rear. He coaxed in schoolmistress fashion, as to a congregation of boys with primers. His talk was an endless repetition. “Reserve your fire, boys—don’t shoot till I tell you—save your fire—wait till they get close up—don’t be damned fools—”
The captain of the company had been anxiously pacing back and forth in the back. He urged the men like a schoolteacher speaking to a group of kids with their reading books. His words were a constant refrain. “Hold your fire, guys—don’t shoot until I say so—conserve your ammo—wait until they get really close—don’t be idiots—”
Perspiration streamed down the youth’s face, which was soiled like that of a weeping urchin. He frequently, with a nervous movement, wiped his eyes with his coat sleeve. His mouth was still a little ways open.
Perspiration streamed down the young man's face, which was dirty like that of a crying kid. He often wiped his eyes with his coat sleeve in a nervous motion. His mouth was still slightly ajar.
He got the one glance at the foe-swarming field in front of him, and instantly ceased to debate the question of his piece being loaded. Before he was ready to begin—before he had announced to himself that he was about to fight—he threw the obedient well-balanced rifle into position and fired a first wild shot. Directly he was working at his weapon like an automatic affair.
He took one look at the battlefield filled with enemies in front of him, and immediately stopped worrying about whether his gun was loaded. Before he was really prepared to start—before he even acknowledged to himself that he was about to fight—he raised his well-balanced rifle into position and fired a wild first shot. Instantly, he was handling his weapon like a machine.
He suddenly lost concern for himself, and forgot to look at a menacing fate. He became not a man but a member. He felt that something of which he was a part—a regiment, an army, a cause, or a country—was in crisis. He was welded into a common personality which was dominated by a single desire. For some moments he could not flee no more than a little finger can commit a revolution from a hand.
He suddenly stopped caring about himself and forgot to pay attention to a dangerous fate. He became not just an individual but part of a group. He sensed that something he was connected to—a regiment, an army, a cause, or a country—was in trouble. He was fused into a shared identity that was driven by a single desire. For a while, he couldn’t escape any more than a little finger could start a revolution on its own.
If he had thought the regiment was about to be annihilated perhaps he could have amputated himself from it. But its noise gave him assurance. The regiment was like a firework that, once ignited, proceeds superior to circumstances until its blazing vitality fades. It wheezed and banged with a mighty power. He pictured the ground before it as strewn with the discomfited.
If he had thought the regiment was about to be wiped out, he might have detached himself from it. But its noise gave him confidence. The regiment was like a firework that, once lit, rises above circumstances until its bright energy fades. It wheezed and banged with great intensity. He imagined the ground in front of it covered with the defeated.
There was a consciousness always of the presence of his comrades about him. He felt the subtle battle brotherhood more potent even than the cause for which they were fighting. It was a mysterious fraternity born of the smoke and danger of death.
He was always aware of his comrades around him. He felt the bond of brotherhood even stronger than the cause they were fighting for. It was a strange connection formed from the smoke and peril of death.
He was at a task. He was like a carpenter who has made many boxes, making still another box, only there was furious haste in his movements. He, in his thoughts, was careering off in other places, even as the carpenter who as he works whistles and thinks of his friend or his enemy, his home or a saloon. And these jolted dreams were never perfect to him afterward, but remained a mass of blurred shapes.
He was busy with a task. He was like a carpenter who had made many boxes, making yet another box, but there was a frantic urgency in his movements. In his mind, he was racing off to other places, just like the carpenter who whistles while he works, thinking of his friend or his enemy, his home or a bar. Those jumbled thoughts never turned out clear to him later; they just stayed a messy jumble of shapes.
Presently he began to feel the effects of the war atmosphere—a blistering sweat, a sensation that his eyeballs were about to crack like hot stones. A burning roar filled his ears.
Right now, he started to feel the impact of the war atmosphere—sweating profusely, feeling like his eyeballs were about to burst like hot stones. A deafening roar filled his ears.
Following this came a red rage. He developed the acute exasperation of a pestered animal, a well-meaning cow worried by dogs. He had a mad feeling against his rifle, which could only be used against one life at a time. He wished to rush forward and strangle with his fingers. He craved a power that would enable him to make a world-sweeping gesture and brush all back. His impotency appeared to him, and made his rage into that of a driven beast.
Following this came a red rage. He felt the intense frustration of a harassed animal, like a gentle cow being hounded by dogs. He had a wild anger directed at his rifle, which could only take one life at a time. He wanted to charge ahead and strangle with his hands. He yearned for a power that would let him make a sweeping motion and push everything away. His helplessness became clear to him, turning his anger into that of a cornered beast.
Buried in the smoke of many rifles his anger was directed not so much against the men whom he knew were rushing toward him as against the swirling battle phantoms which were choking him, stuffing their smoke robes down his parched throat. He fought frantically for respite for his senses, for air, as a babe being smothered attacks the deadly blankets.
Buried in the smoke of multiple rifles, his anger was aimed not so much at the men he knew were rushing toward him but at the swirling battle ghosts that were suffocating him, pushing their smoky robes down his dry throat. He struggled desperately for a break for his senses, for air, like a baby being smothered fights against the suffocating blankets.
There was a blare of heated rage mingled with a certain expression of intentness on all faces. Many of the men were making low-toned noises with their mouths, and these subdued cheers, snarls, imprecations, prayers, made a wild, barbaric song that went as an undercurrent of sound, strange and chantlike with the resounding chords of the war march. The man at the youth’s elbow was babbling. In it there was something soft and tender like the monologue of a babe. The tall soldier was swearing in a loud voice. From his lips came a black procession of curious oaths. Of a sudden another broke out in a querulous way like a man who has mislaid his hat. “Well, why don’t they support us? Why don’t they send supports? Do they think—”
There was a loud mix of anger and intense focus on everyone's faces. Many of the men were making low sounds with their mouths, and these quiet cheers, growls, curses, and prayers created a wild, primitive tune that flowed beneath the booming beats of the war march. The man next to the young man was rambling. There was something soft and gentle in his words, like the babble of a baby. The tall soldier was shouting angrily. From his mouth came a stream of strange curses. Suddenly, another man started complaining like someone who has lost their hat. “Well, why don’t they support us? Why don’t they send reinforcements? Do they think—”
The youth in his battle sleep heard this as one who dozes hears.
The young man in his battle sleep heard this like someone who dozes off hears.
There was a singular absence of heroic poses. The men bending and surging in their haste and rage were in every impossible attitude. The steel ramrods clanked and clanged with incessant din as the men pounded them furiously into the hot rifle barrels. The flaps of the cartridge boxes were all unfastened, and bobbed idiotically with each movement. The rifles, once loaded, were jerked to the shoulder and fired without apparent aim into the smoke or at one of the blurred and shifting forms which upon the field before the regiment had been growing larger and larger like puppets under a magician’s hand.
There was a complete lack of heroic stances. The men were bending and pushing forward in their rush and fury, adopting every unthinkable position. The steel ramrods clanked and rang out with constant noise as the men slammed them aggressively into the hot rifle barrels. The flaps of the cartridge boxes were all unfastened and flopped around foolishly with every movement. Once loaded, the rifles were jerked up to the shoulder and fired without any clear target into the smoke or at one of the blurred, shifting figures on the field in front of the regiment that had been growing larger and larger like puppets under a magician’s spell.
The officers, at their intervals, rearward, neglected to stand in picturesque attitudes. They were bobbing to and fro roaring directions and encouragements. The dimensions of their howls were extraordinary. They expended their lungs with prodigal wills. And often they nearly stood upon their heads in their anxiety to observe the enemy on the other side of the tumbling smoke.
The officers, at their intervals behind the lines, forgot to strike dramatic poses. They were moving back and forth, shouting commands and cheers. The volume of their shouts was incredible. They used their voices with wild abandon. And many times, they almost tipped over in their eagerness to see the enemy through the swirling smoke.
The lieutenant of the youth’s company had encountered a soldier who had fled screaming at the first volley of his comrades. Behind the lines these two were acting a little isolated scene. The man was blubbering and staring with sheeplike eyes at the lieutenant, who had seized him by the collar and was pommeling him. He drove him back into the ranks with many blows. The soldier went mechanically, dully, with his animal-like eyes upon the officer. Perhaps there was to him a divinity expressed in the voice of the other—stern, hard, with no reflection of fear in it. He tried to reload his gun, but his shaking hands prevented. The lieutenant was obliged to assist him.
The company’s lieutenant had come across a soldier who had run away, screaming, at the first shot from his fellow soldiers. Behind the lines, these two were having a little isolated moment. The man was sobbing and staring blankly at the lieutenant, who had grabbed him by the collar and was hitting him. He pushed him back into the ranks with several blows. The soldier moved forward like a robot, numbly, his animal-like eyes fixed on the officer. Maybe he saw some sort of power in the lieutenant’s voice—stern and hard, with no hint of fear in it. He tried to reload his gun, but his shaking hands wouldn’t cooperate. The lieutenant had to help him.
The men dropped here and there like bundles. The captain of the youth’s company had been killed in an early part of the action. His body lay stretched out in the position of a tired man resting, but upon his face there was an astonished and sorrowful look, as if he thought some friend had done him an ill turn. The babbling man was grazed by a shot that made the blood stream widely down his face. He clapped both hands to his head. “Oh!” he said, and ran. Another grunted suddenly as if he had been struck by a club in the stomach. He sat down and gazed ruefully. In his eyes there was mute, indefinite reproach. Farther up the line a man, standing behind a tree, had had his knee joint splintered by a ball. Immediately he had dropped his rifle and gripped the tree with both arms. And there he remained, clinging desperately and crying for assistance that he might withdraw his hold upon the tree.
The men fell down here and there like sacks. The captain of the youth’s company was killed early in the fight. His body lay sprawled out like a tired man taking a break, but his face wore a look of astonishment and sadness, as if he believed a friend had betrayed him. A man who was babbling got hit by a shot that sent blood streaming down his face. He slapped both hands to his head. “Oh!” he yelled, and ran off. Another man grunted suddenly as if he’d been hit in the stomach with a club. He sat down and looked around sadly. His eyes held a silent, vague accusation. Further up the line, a man standing behind a tree had his knee shattered by a bullet. He immediately dropped his rifle and grabbed the tree with both arms. And there he stayed, clinging desperately and calling for help so he could let go of the tree.
At last an exultant yell went along the quivering line. The firing dwindled from an uproar to a last vindictive popping. As the smoke slowly eddied away, the youth saw that the charge had been repulsed. The enemy were scattered into reluctant groups. He saw a man climb to the top of the fence, straddle the rail, and fire a parting shot. The waves had receded, leaving bits of dark débris upon the ground.
At last, an excited shout ran down the trembling line. The shooting faded from a loud chaos to a final angry popping. As the smoke slowly cleared, the young man realized that the charge had been pushed back. The enemy was scattered into unwilling groups. He saw a man climb to the top of the fence, straddle the rail, and take a last shot. The waves had pulled back, leaving behind bits of dark debris on the ground.
Some in the regiment began to whoop frenziedly. Many were silent. Apparently they were trying to contemplate themselves.
Some people in the regiment started to yell excitedly. Many others were quiet. It seemed like they were trying to reflect on themselves.
After the fever had left his veins, the youth thought that at last he was going to suffocate. He became aware of the foul atmosphere in which he had been struggling. He was grimy and dripping like a laborer in a foundry. He grasped his canteen and took a long swallow of the warmed water.
After the fever had cleared from his system, the young man thought he was finally going to suffocate. He became aware of the terrible air he had been breathing. He was dirty and sweating like a worker in a foundry. He grabbed his canteen and took a long drink of the warm water.
A sentence with variations went up and down the line. “Well, we’ve helt ’em back. We’ve helt ’em back; derned if we haven’t.” The men said it blissfully, leering at each other with dirty smiles.
A line with different versions went up and down the row. “Well, we’ve held them back. We’ve held them back; darned if we haven’t.” The men said it happily, grinning at each other with smirky smiles.
The youth turned to look behind him and off to the right and off to the left. He experienced the joy of a man who at last finds leisure in which to look about him.
The young man glanced behind him and to the right, then to the left. He felt the joy of someone who finally has the time to stop and take in his surroundings.
Under foot there were a few ghastly forms motionless. They lay twisted in fantastic contortions. Arms were bent and heads were turned in incredible ways. It seemed that the dead men must have fallen from some great height to get into such positions. They looked to be dumped out upon the ground from the sky.
Underfoot, there were a few horrifying figures lying completely still. They were twisted in bizarre positions. Arms were bent, and heads were turned in impossible ways. It looked like the dead men must have fallen from a great height to end up in such poses. They seemed to have been dumped onto the ground from the sky.
From a position in the rear of the grove a battery was throwing shells over it. The flash of the guns startled the youth at first. He thought they were aimed directly at him. Through the trees he watched the black figures of the gunners as they worked swiftly and intently. Their labor seemed a complicated thing. He wondered how they could remember its formula in the midst of confusion.
From a spot at the back of the grove, an artillery unit was firing shells over it. The flash of the guns surprised the young man at first. He thought they were targeting him directly. Through the trees, he observed the dark silhouettes of the gunners as they worked quickly and focused. Their task appeared complicated. He was curious about how they could keep track of everything amidst the chaos.
The guns squatted in a row like savage chiefs. They argued with abrupt violence. It was a grim pow-wow. Their busy servants ran hither and thither.
The guns sat lined up like fierce leaders. They clashed with sudden aggression. It was a serious meeting. Their active servants dashed back and forth.
A small procession of wounded men were going drearily toward the rear. It was a flow of blood from the torn body of the brigade.
A small group of injured men was trudging sadly toward the back. It was a stream of blood from the battered body of the brigade.
To the right and to the left were the dark lines of other troops. Far in front he thought he could see lighter masses protruding in points from the forest. They were suggestive of unnumbered thousands.
To the right and left were the dark lines of other troops. Far ahead, he thought he could see lighter groups sticking out from the forest. They hinted at countless thousands.
Once he saw a tiny battery go dashing along the line of the horizon. The tiny riders were beating the tiny horses.
Once he saw a small battery zooming along the edge of the horizon. The little riders were whipping the tiny horses.
From a sloping hill came the sound of cheerings and clashes. Smoke welled slowly through the leaves.
From a sloping hill came the sounds of cheering and clashes. Smoke slowly rose through the leaves.
Batteries were speaking with thunderous oratorical effort. Here and there were flags, the red in the stripes dominating. They splashed bits of warm color upon the dark lines of troops.
Batteries were speaking with loud, powerful voices. Here and there were flags, with the red stripes standing out the most. They added touches of warm color against the dark lines of soldiers.
The youth felt the old thrill at the sight of the emblems. They were like beautiful birds strangely undaunted in a storm.
The young person felt the old excitement at the sight of the symbols. They were like beautiful birds oddly unbothered by a storm.
As he listened to the din from the hillside, to a deep pulsating thunder that came from afar to the left, and to the lesser clamors which came from many directions, it occurred to him that they were fighting, too, over there, and over there, and over there. Heretofore he had supposed that all the battle was directly under his nose.
As he listened to the noise from the hillside, to a deep, throbbing roar coming from the left in the distance, and to the smaller sounds coming from various directions, it struck him that they were fighting over there, and over there, and over there as well. Until now, he had thought that all the battle was happening right in front of him.
As he gazed around him the youth felt a flash of astonishment at the blue, pure sky and the sun gleamings on the trees and fields. It was surprising that Nature had gone tranquilly on with her golden process in the midst of so much devilment.
As he looked around, the young man felt a wave of surprise at the clear blue sky and the sunlight sparkling on the trees and fields. It was shocking that Nature continued her golden routine amid so much chaos.
Chapter VI.
The youth awakened slowly. He came gradually back to a position from which he could regard himself. For moments he had been scrutinizing his person in a dazed way as if he had never before seen himself. Then he picked up his cap from the ground. He wriggled in his jacket to make a more comfortable fit, and kneeling relaced his shoe. He thoughtfully mopped his reeking features.
The young man woke up slowly. He slowly returned to a state where he could see himself clearly. For a few moments, he stared at his own reflection in a confused manner, as if he had never seen himself before. Then he picked up his cap from the ground. He adjusted his jacket to fit more comfortably and knelt down to tie his shoe. He thoughtfully wiped his sweaty face.
So it was all over at last! The supreme trial had been passed. The red, formidable difficulties of war had been vanquished.
So it was finally over! The ultimate test had been overcome. The fierce challenges of war had been conquered.
He went into an ecstasy of self-satisfaction. He had the most delightful sensations of his life. Standing as if apart from himself, he viewed that last scene. He perceived that the man who had fought thus was magnificent.
He was overwhelmed with self-satisfaction. He felt the most amazing sensations of his life. Standing as if separated from himself, he observed that final scene. He realized that the man who had fought like this was incredible.
He felt that he was a fine fellow. He saw himself even with those ideals which he had considered as far beyond him. He smiled in deep gratification.
He felt like a great guy. He saw himself meeting those ideals he had thought were way out of his league. He smiled with deep satisfaction.
Upon his fellows he beamed tenderness and good will. “Gee! ain’t it hot, hey?” he said affably to a man who was polishing his streaming face with his coat sleeves.
He radiated warmth and kindness to his friends. “Wow! Isn’t it hot, huh?” he said kindly to a man who was wiping his sweaty face with his coat sleeves.
“You bet!” said the other, grinning sociably. “I never seen sech dumb hotness.” He sprawled out luxuriously on the ground. “Gee, yes! An’ I hope we don’t have no more fightin’ till a week from Monday.”
“You bet!” said the other, grinning cheerfully. “I’ve never seen such stupid heat.” He stretched out comfortably on the ground. “Wow, yeah! And I hope we don’t have any more fighting until a week from Monday.”
There were some handshakings and deep speeches with men whose features were familiar, but with whom the youth now felt the bonds of tied hearts. He helped a cursing comrade to bind up a wound of the shin.
There were some handshakes and heartfelt speeches with men whose faces were familiar, but with whom the young man now felt a deep connection. He helped a swearing friend wrap a bandage around a wound on his shin.
But, of a sudden, cries of amazement broke out along the ranks of the new regiment. “Here they come ag’in! Here they come ag’in!” The man who had sprawled upon the ground started up and said, “Gosh!”
But suddenly, shouts of surprise erupted among the ranks of the new regiment. “Here they come again! Here they come again!” The man who had been lying on the ground jumped up and exclaimed, “Wow!”
The youth turned quick eyes upon the field. He discerned forms begin to swell in masses out of a distant wood. He again saw the tilted flag speeding forward.
The young man quickly looked at the field. He noticed shapes starting to emerge in groups from a distant forest. He saw the tilted flag racing ahead again.
The shells, which had ceased to trouble the regiment for a time, came swirling again, and exploded in the grass or among the leaves of the trees. They looked to be strange war flowers bursting into fierce bloom.
The shells, which had stopped bothering the regiment for a while, started coming down again, exploding in the grass or among the trees' leaves. They looked like weird war flowers bursting into wild bloom.
The men groaned. The luster faded from their eyes. Their smudged countenances now expressed a profound dejection. They moved their stiffened bodies slowly, and watched in sullen mood the frantic approach of the enemy. The slaves toiling in the temple of this god began to feel rebellion at his harsh tasks.
The men groaned. The shine faded from their eyes. Their dirty faces now showed deep sadness. They moved their stiff bodies slowly and watched with a gloomy attitude as the enemy rushed toward them. The slaves working in the temple of this god started to feel rebellious about his tough demands.
They fretted and complained each to each. “Oh, say, this is too much of a good thing! Why can’t somebody send us supports?”
They worried and grumbled to one another. “Oh, come on, this is way too much! Why can’t someone send us help?”
“We ain’t never goin’ to stand this second banging. I didn’t come here to fight the hull damn’ rebel army.”
“We're never going to put up with this second attack. I didn't come here to fight the whole damn rebel army.”
There was one who raised a doleful cry. “I wish Bill Smithers had trod on my hand, insteader me treddin’ on his’n.” The sore joints of the regiment creaked as it painfully floundered into position to repulse.
There was one who let out a sad cry. “I wish Bill Smithers had stepped on my hand instead of me stepping on his.” The sore joints of the regiment creaked as it awkwardly struggled into position to fight back.
The youth stared. Surely, he thought, this impossible thing was not about to happen. He waited as if he expected the enemy to suddenly stop, apologize, and retire bowing. It was all a mistake.
The young man stared. Surely, he thought, this unbelievable thing was not really about to happen. He waited as if he expected the enemy to suddenly stop, apologize, and back off politely. It was all just a mistake.
But the firing began somewhere on the regimental line and ripped along in both directions. The level sheets of flame developed great clouds of smoke that tumbled and tossed in the mild wind near the ground for a moment, and then rolled through the ranks as through a gate. The clouds were tinged an earthlike yellow in the sunrays and in the shadow were a sorry blue. The flag was sometimes eaten and lost in this mass of vapor, but more often it projected, sun-touched, resplendent.
But the gunfire started somewhere along the regimental line and quickly spread in both directions. The flat sheets of flame created huge clouds of smoke that swirled and rolled in the light breeze for a moment, then swept through the ranks like a wave. The smoke clouds had an earthy yellow hue in the sunlight and a dull blue in the shadows. The flag was sometimes swallowed up and lost in this fog, but more often it stood out, glowing in the sunlight.
Into the youth’s eyes there came a look that one can see in the orbs of a jaded horse. His neck was quivering with nervous weakness and the muscles of his arms felt numb and bloodless. His hands, too, seemed large and awkward as if he was wearing invisible mittens. And there was a great uncertainty about his knee joints.
Into the young man's eyes came a look that you can see in the eyes of a worn-out horse. His neck was shaking with nervous weakness, and the muscles in his arms felt numb and lifeless. His hands also appeared large and clumsy as if he was wearing invisible mittens. And there was a strong uncertainty about his knees.
The words that comrades had uttered previous to the firing began to recur to him. “Oh, say, this is too much of a good thing! What do they take us for—why don’t they send supports? I didn’t come here to fight the hull damned rebel army.”
The words that his teammates had said before the shooting started kept coming back to him. “Oh, come on, this is pushing it too far! What do they think we are—why don’t they send reinforcements? I didn’t come here to take on the whole damn rebel army.”
He began to exaggerate the endurance, the skill, and the valor of those who were coming. Himself reeling from exhaustion, he was astonished beyond measure at such persistency. They must be machines of steel. It was very gloomy struggling against such affairs, wound up perhaps to fight until sundown.
He started to hype up the endurance, skill, and bravery of those who were coming. Feeling completely worn out himself, he was incredibly amazed by their persistence. They had to be made of steel. It was quite disheartening to be up against such strong opponents, geared up to fight until sunset.
He slowly lifted his rifle and catching a glimpse of the thickspread field he blazed at a cantering cluster. He stopped then and began to peer as best as he could through the smoke. He caught changing views of the ground covered with men who were all running like pursued imps, and yelling.
He slowly raised his rifle and caught sight of the wide, open field where he aimed at a group of galloping figures. He paused and tried to see through the smoke as clearly as he could. He caught fleeting glimpses of the ground covered with men who were all running like they were being chased by demons, shouting loudly.
To the youth it was an onslaught of redoubtable dragons. He became like the man who lost his legs at the approach of the red and green monster. He waited in a sort of a horrified, listening attitude. He seemed to shut his eyes and wait to be gobbled.
To the young people, it felt like a fierce attack from terrifying dragons. He became like a man who lost his legs when faced with the red and green monster. He waited in a state of horrified anticipation, shutting his eyes, bracing himself to be devoured.
A man near him who up to this time had been working feverishly at his rifle suddenly stopped and ran with howls. A lad whose face had borne an expression of exalted courage, the majesty of he who dares give his life, was, at an instant, smitten abject. He blanched like one who has come to the edge of a cliff at midnight and is suddenly made aware. There was a revelation. He, too, threw down his gun and fled. There was no shame in his face. He ran like a rabbit.
A man nearby, who had been frantically working on his rifle until now, suddenly stopped and ran away screaming. A young boy, who had looked so brave and noble, ready to risk his life, was instantly filled with despair. He turned pale, like someone who had just realized they were at the edge of a cliff in the dark. It was a moment of clarity. He also dropped his gun and ran away. There was no shame on his face. He ran like a scared rabbit.
Others began to scamper away through the smoke. The youth turned his head, shaken from his trance by this movement as if the regiment was leaving him behind. He saw the few fleeting forms.
Others started to rush away through the smoke. The young man turned his head, jolted out of his daze by this movement as if the regiment was abandoning him. He caught sight of the few passing figures.
He yelled then with fright and swung about. For a moment, in the great clamor, he was like a proverbial chicken. He lost the direction of safety. Destruction threatened him from all points.
He yelled in panic and spun around. For a moment, amid all the noise, he was like a chicken with its head cut off. He lost track of where safety was. Danger surrounded him from every angle.
Directly he began to speed toward the rear in great leaps. His rifle and cap were gone. His unbuttoned coat bulged in the wind. The flap of his cartridge box bobbed wildly, and his canteen, by its slender cord, swung out behind. On his face was all the horror of those things which he imagined.
Directly, he started sprinting toward the back in huge leaps. His rifle and cap were gone. His unbuttoned coat flapped in the wind. The flap of his cartridge box bounced around, and his canteen, hanging by a thin strap, swayed behind him. His face reflected all the fear of the things he imagined.
The lieutenant sprang forward bawling. The youth saw his features wrathfully red, and saw him make a dab with his sword. His one thought of the incident was that the lieutenant was a peculiar creature to feel interested in such matters upon this occasion.
The lieutenant charged ahead, yelling. The young man noticed his face was a furious red and saw him slash with his sword. All he could think about was how strange it was for the lieutenant to care about such things in this situation.
He ran like a blind man. Two or three times he fell down. Once he knocked his shoulder so heavily against a tree that he went headlong.
He ran like someone who couldn't see. Two or three times he fell down. Once he slammed his shoulder hard against a tree and went flying forward.
Since he had turned his back upon the fight his fears had been wondrously magnified. Death about to thrust him between the shoulder blades was far more dreadful than death about to smite him between the eyes. When he thought of it later, he conceived the impression that it is better to view the appalling than to be merely within hearing. The noises of the battle were like stones; he believed himself liable to be crushed.
Since he had walked away from the fight, his fears had grown incredibly intense. The idea of death sneaking up on him from behind felt much worse than facing it head-on. Later on, he thought it was better to see the horror than just hear it. The sounds of the battle felt heavy, like stones; he thought he could be crushed under them.
As he ran on he mingled with others. He dimly saw men on his right and on his left, and he heard footsteps behind him. He thought that all the regiment was fleeing, pursued by those ominous crashes.
As he kept running, he mixed in with other people. He vaguely saw men to his right and left, and he heard footsteps behind him. He thought the entire regiment was running away, chased by those threatening sounds.
In his flight the sound of these following footsteps gave him his one meager relief. He felt vaguely that death must make a first choice of the men who were nearest; the initial morsels for the dragons would be then those who were following him. So he displayed the zeal of an insane sprinter in his purpose to keep them in the rear. There was a race.
In his flight, the sound of the footsteps behind him provided his only small comfort. He felt a strange sense that death must first claim those who were closest; the first victims for the dragons would be the ones trailing him. So, he ran like a madman, determined to keep them behind. It was a race.
As he, leading, went across a little field, he found himself in a region of shells. They hurtled over his head with long wild screams. As he listened he imagined them to have rows of cruel teeth that grinned at him. Once one lit before him and the livid lightning of the explosion effectually barred the way in his chosen direction. He groveled on the ground and then springing up went careering off through some bushes.
As he led the way across a small field, he found himself in an area filled with shells. They whizzed overhead with loud, wild screams. As he listened, he imagined them having rows of sharp teeth that grinned at him. One time, a shell exploded right in front of him, and the blinding flash of the explosion effectively blocked his path. He crawled on the ground and then jumped up, darting off through some bushes.
He experienced a thrill of amazement when he came within view of a battery in action. The men there seemed to be in conventional moods, altogether unaware of the impending annihilation. The battery was disputing with a distant antagonist and the gunners were wrapped in admiration of their shooting. They were continually bending in coaxing postures over the guns. They seemed to be patting them on the back and encouraging them with words. The guns, stolid and undaunted, spoke with dogged valor.
He felt a rush of excitement when he saw a battery in action. The soldiers there seemed to be in a typical mindset, completely unaware of the danger looming ahead. The battery was engaging with a distant enemy, and the gunners were fully absorbed in their shooting skills. They kept leaning over the guns in affectionate ways, as if they were petting them and offering encouragement. The guns, solid and fearless, fired back with determined bravery.
The precise gunners were coolly enthusiastic. They lifted their eyes every chance to the smoke-wreathed hillock from whence the hostile battery addressed them. The youth pitied them as he ran. Methodical idiots! Machine-like fools! The refined joy of planting shells in the midst of the other battery’s formation would appear a little thing when the infantry came swooping out of the woods.
The accurate gunners were calmly excited. They looked up every chance they got at the smoke-covered hill where the enemy artillery was firing at them. The young man felt sorry for them as he ran. Methodical idiots! Robotic fools! The satisfaction of hitting the other battery’s formation with shells would seem small once the infantry charged out of the woods.
The face of a youthful rider, who was jerking his frantic horse with an abandon of temper he might display in a placid barnyard, was impressed deeply upon his mind. He knew that he looked upon a man who would presently be dead.
The face of a young rider, who was wildly tugging at his frantic horse with the same anger he might show in a calm barnyard, was deeply etched in his mind. He realized that he was looking at a man who would soon be dead.
Too, he felt a pity for the guns, standing, six good comrades, in a bold row.
He also felt sorry for the guns, standing there, six loyal comrades, in a proud line.
He saw a brigade going to the relief of its pestered fellows. He scrambled upon a wee hill and watched it sweeping finely, keeping formation in difficult places. The blue of the line was crusted with steel color, and the brilliant flags projected. Officers were shouting.
He saw a brigade heading to help out its troubled comrades. He climbed onto a small hill and watched as it moved smoothly, maintaining formation in tough spots. The blue of the line was mixed with a metallic sheen, and the bright flags stood out. Officers were shouting.
This sight also filled him with wonder. The brigade was hurrying briskly to be gulped into the infernal mouths of the war god. What manner of men were they, anyhow? Ah, it was some wondrous breed! Or else they didn’t comprehend—the fools.
This sight also filled him with awe. The brigade was rushing quickly to be consumed by the war god's raging fury. What kind of men were they, anyway? Ah, they were some incredible breed! Or maybe they just didn't understand—the fools.
A furious order caused commotion in the artillery. An officer on a bounding horse made maniacal motions with his arms. The teams went swinging up from the rear, the guns were whirled about, and the battery scampered away. The cannon with their noses poked slantingly at the ground grunted and grumbled like stout men, brave but with objections to hurry.
A loud order stirred up chaos in the artillery. An officer on a leaping horse was wildly gesturing with his arms. The teams swung up from the back, the guns were turned around, and the battery sped off. The cannons, with their barrels tilted toward the ground, grunted and complained like stout men—brave but reluctant to rush.
The youth went on, moderating his pace since he had left the place of noises.
The young man continued on, slowing down a bit now that he had left the noisy area.
Later he came upon a general of division seated upon a horse that pricked its ears in an interested way at the battle. There was a great gleaming of yellow and patent leather about the saddle and bridle. The quiet man astride looked mouse-colored upon such a splendid charger.
Later, he encountered a division general sitting on a horse that perked up its ears, showing interest in the battle. The saddle and bridle sparkled with shiny yellow and patent leather. The calm man on top looked quite dull compared to such a magnificent steed.
A jingling staff was galloping hither and thither. Sometimes the general was surrounded by horsemen and at other times he was quite alone. He looked to be much harassed. He had the appearance of a business man whose market is swinging up and down.
A jingling staff was moving back and forth. Sometimes the general was surrounded by riders and other times he was completely alone. He seemed very stressed. He looked like a businessman whose market is fluctuating wildly.
The youth went slinking around this spot. He went as near as he dared trying to overhear words. Perhaps the general, unable to comprehend chaos, might call upon him for information. And he could tell him. He knew all concerning it. Of a surety the force was in a fix, and any fool could see that if they did not retreat while they had opportunity—why—
The young man crept around this area. He got as close as he could, trying to catch snippets of conversation. Maybe the general, struggling to understand the chaos, would ask him for information. And he could share what he knew. He was fully aware of the situation. It was clear the troops were in trouble, and any idiot could tell that if they didn’t retreat while they had the chance—well—
He felt that he would like to thrash the general, or at least approach and tell him in plain words exactly what he thought him to be. It was criminal to stay calmly in one spot and make no effort to stay destruction. He loitered in a fever of eagerness for the division commander to apply to him.
He felt like he wanted to beat up the general or at least go up to him and say exactly what he thought of him. It was wrong to just stand there and not do anything about the destruction. He hung around, feeling restless and eager for the division commander to reach out to him.
As he warily moved about, he heard the general call out irritably: “Tompkins, go over an’ see Taylor, an’ tell him not t’ be in such an all-fired hurry; tell him t’ halt his brigade in th’ edge of th’ woods; tell him t’ detach a reg’ment—say I think th’ center ’ll break if we don’t help it out some; tell him t’ hurry up.”
As he cautiously moved around, he heard the general shout irritably: “Tompkins, go see Taylor and tell him not to be in such a rush; tell him to stop his brigade at the edge of the woods; tell him to detach a regiment—say I think the center will break if we don’t support it a bit; tell him to hurry up.”
A slim youth on a fine chestnut horse caught these swift words from the mouth of his superior. He made his horse bound into a gallop almost from a walk in his haste to go upon his mission. There was a cloud of dust.
A slender young man on a beautiful chestnut horse heard these quick words from his superior. He urged his horse into a gallop almost from a standstill in his eagerness to start his mission. A cloud of dust followed.
A moment later the youth saw the general bounce excitedly in his saddle.
A moment later, the young man saw the general bounce excitedly in his saddle.
“Yes, by heavens, they have!” The officer leaned forward. His face was aflame with excitement. “Yes, by heavens, they’ve held ’im! They’ve held ’im!”
“Yes, they really have!” The officer leaned forward. His face was lit up with excitement. “Yes, they’ve got him! They’ve got him!”
He began to blithely roar at his staff: “We’ll wallop ’im now. We’ll wallop ’im now. We’ve got ’em sure.” He turned suddenly upon an aide: “Here—you—Jones—quick—ride after Tompkins—see Taylor—tell him t’ go in—everlastingly—like blazes—anything.”
He started to cheerfully shout at his staff: “We’ll take him down now. We’ll take him down now. We’ve got this for sure.” He suddenly turned to an aide: “Hey—you—Jones—quick—go after Tompkins—see Taylor—tell him to go in—hard—like crazy—anything.”
As another officer sped his horse after the first messenger, the general beamed upon the earth like a sun. In his eyes was a desire to chant a paean. He kept repeating, “They’ve held ’em, by heavens!”
As another officer raced his horse after the first messenger, the general shone on the earth like a sun. In his eyes was a desire to sing a song of praise. He kept repeating, “They’ve held them, by heavens!”
His excitement made his horse plunge, and he merrily kicked and swore at it. He held a little carnival of joy on horseback.
His excitement made his horse jump, and he happily kicked and yelled at it. He was having a little party of joy while riding.
Chapter VII.
The youth cringed as if discovered in a crime. By heavens, they had won after all! The imbecile line had remained and become victors. He could hear cheering.
The young person felt embarrassed, like they had been caught doing something wrong. Oh my God, they had actually won! The foolish side had stayed and come out on top. He could hear the cheers.
He lifted himself upon his toes and looked in the direction of the fight. A yellow fog lay wallowing on the treetops. From beneath it came the clatter of musketry. Hoarse cries told of an advance.
He stood on his toes and looked toward the fight. A yellow fog hung heavily on the treetops. From beneath it, the sound of gunfire echoed. Rough shouts indicated that they were advancing.
He turned away amazed and angry. He felt that he had been wronged.
He turned away, feeling both amazed and angry. He felt like he had been treated unfairly.
He had fled, he told himself, because annihilation approached. He had done a good part in saving himself, who was a little piece of the army. He had considered the time, he said, to be one in which it was the duty of every little piece to rescue itself if possible. Later the officers could fit the little pieces together again, and make a battle front. If none of the little pieces were wise enough to save themselves from the flurry of death at such a time, why, then, where would be the army? It was all plain that he had proceeded according to very correct and commendable rules. His actions had been sagacious things. They had been full of strategy. They were the work of a master’s legs.
He had run away, he told himself, because destruction was near. He had played a significant role in saving himself, who was just a small part of the army. He believed that it was the kind of time when every little part should look out for itself if possible. Later, the officers could piece together the little parts again and form a battle front. If none of the little parts were smart enough to save themselves from the chaos of death at such a time, then where would the army be? It was clear that he had acted according to very sensible and admirable principles. His actions had been wise decisions. They were strategic moves. They were the work of a master’s legs.
Thoughts of his comrades came to him. The brittle blue line had withstood the blows and won. He grew bitter over it. It seemed that the blind ignorance and stupidity of those little pieces had betrayed him. He had been overturned and crushed by their lack of sense in holding the position, when intelligent deliberation would have convinced them that it was impossible. He, the enlightened man who looks afar in the dark, had fled because of his superior perceptions and knowledge. He felt a great anger against his comrades. He knew it could be proved that they had been fools.
Thoughts of his comrades flooded his mind. The fragile blue line had endured the hits and emerged victorious. He felt a deep bitterness about it. It seemed that the blind ignorance and foolishness of those small pieces had let him down. He had been toppled and crushed by their lack of judgment in holding the position when any reasonable thinking would have shown them it was impossible. He, the enlightened one who can see far into the darkness, had run away because of his greater insight and knowledge. He felt overwhelming anger toward his comrades. He knew it could be shown that they had been foolish.
He wondered what they would remark when later he appeared in camp. His mind heard howls of derision. Their density would not enable them to understand his sharper point of view.
He wondered what they would say when he later showed up at camp. In his mind, he heard mocking laughter. They were too limited to grasp his clearer perspective.
He began to pity himself acutely. He was ill used. He was trodden beneath the feet of an iron injustice. He had proceeded with wisdom and from the most righteous motives under heaven’s blue only to be frustrated by hateful circumstances.
He started to feel sorry for himself deeply. He was treated poorly. He was crushed under the weight of cruel injustice. He had acted wisely and with the best intentions under the clear sky, only to be hindered by terrible circumstances.
A dull, animal-like rebellion against his fellows, war in the abstract, and fate grew within him. He shambled along with bowed head, his brain in a tumult of agony and despair. When he looked loweringly up, quivering at each sound, his eyes had the expression of those of a criminal who thinks his guilt little and his punishment great, and knows that he can find no words.
A dull, primal anger against his peers, the concept of war, and fate all built up inside him. He shuffled along with his head down, his mind swirling with pain and hopelessness. When he looked up with a scowl, flinching at every noise, his eyes resembled those of a guilty person who believes their wrongdoing is minor but their punishment is severe, and realizes he has no words to express it.
He went from the fields into a thick woods, as if resolved to bury himself. He wished to get out of hearing of the crackling shots which were to him like voices.
He walked from the fields into a dense forest, determined to hide away. He wanted to get far enough to no longer hear the crackling gunshots that felt like voices to him.
The ground was cluttered with vines and bushes, and the trees grew close and spread out like bouquets. He was obliged to force his way with much noise. The creepers, catching against his legs, cried out harshly as their sprays were torn from the barks of trees. The swishing saplings tried to make known his presence to the world. He could not conciliate the forest. As he made his way, it was always calling out protestations. When he separated embraces of trees and vines the disturbed foliages waved their arms and turned their face leaves toward him. He dreaded lest these noisy motions and cries should bring men to look at him. So he went far, seeking dark and intricate places.
The ground was covered with vines and bushes, and the trees grew close together, spreading out like bouquets. He had to push through with a lot of noise. The creepers snagged on his legs, making harsh sounds as their tendrils were ripped from the tree bark. The swaying saplings seemed to announce his presence to the world. He couldn’t make peace with the forest. As he moved, it constantly protested. When he parted the branches of trees and vines, the disturbed leaves waved and seemed to turn toward him. He feared that these loud movements and cries would attract attention. So he went further, looking for dark and tangled spots.
After a time the sound of musketry grew faint and the cannon boomed in the distance. The sun, suddenly apparent, blazed among the trees. The insects were making rhythmical noises. They seemed to be grinding their teeth in unison. A woodpecker stuck his impudent head around the side of a tree. A bird flew on lighthearted wing.
After a while, the sound of gunfire faded away and the cannons rumbled in the distance. The sun, now visible, shone brightly among the trees. The insects were producing rhythmic sounds, almost like they were grinding their teeth together. A woodpecker peeked its cheeky head around the side of a tree. A bird flew by, carefree and light-hearted.
Off was the rumble of death. It seemed now that Nature had no ears.
Off was the rumble of death. It seemed now that Nature had no ears.
This landscape gave him assurance. A fair field holding life. It was the religion of peace. It would die if its timid eyes were compelled to see blood. He conceived Nature to be a woman with a deep aversion to tragedy.
This landscape gave him confidence. A beautiful area full of life. It was the belief in peace. It would perish if its gentle eyes were forced to witness bloodshed. He imagined Nature as a woman who had a strong dislike for tragedy.
He threw a pine cone at a jovial squirrel, and he ran with chattering fear. High in a treetop he stopped, and, poking his head cautiously from behind a branch, looked down with an air of trepidation.
He tossed a pine cone at a cheerful squirrel, and the squirrel scampered away, chattering in fear. High up in a tree, it paused and, cautiously poking its head out from behind a branch, looked down with a sense of anxiety.
The youth felt triumphant at this exhibition. There was the law, he said. Nature had given him a sign. The squirrel, immediately upon recognizing danger, had taken to his legs without ado. He did not stand stolidly baring his furry belly to the missile, and die with an upward glance at the sympathetic heavens. On the contrary, he had fled as fast as his legs could carry him; and he was but an ordinary squirrel, too—doubtless no philosopher of his race. The youth wended, feeling that Nature was of his mind. She re-enforced his argument with proofs that lived where the sun shone.
The young man felt victorious at this display. There was the law, he said. Nature had given him a sign. The squirrel, as soon as it sensed danger, took off running without hesitation. It didn't just stand there, exposing its furry belly to the threat and die while looking up at the sky for sympathy. Instead, it fled as fast as it could; and it was just an ordinary squirrel, probably not a philosopher by any means. The young man walked on, feeling that Nature was on his side. She supported his argument with evidence that thrived in the sunlight.
Once he found himself almost into a swamp. He was obliged to walk upon bog tufts and watch his feet to keep from the oily mire. Pausing at one time to look about him he saw, out at some black water, a small animal pounce in and emerge directly with a gleaming fish.
Once he found himself almost in a swamp. He had to walk on clumps of grass and pay attention to his feet to avoid the slimy mud. Stopping for a moment to look around, he noticed a small animal dart into some dark water and come back up with a shiny fish.
The youth went again into the deep thickets. The brushed branches made a noise that drowned the sounds of cannon. He walked on, going from obscurity into promises of a greater obscurity.
The young man ventured once more into the thick underbrush. The rustling branches created a sound that overshadowed the noise of cannons. He continued on, moving from darkness into the uncertainty of an even greater darkness.
At length he reached a place where the high, arching boughs made a chapel. He softly pushed the green doors aside and entered. Pine needles were a gentle brown carpet. There was a religious half light.
At last, he arrived at a spot where the tall, arching branches formed a chapel. He quietly pushed the green doors open and stepped inside. Pine needles created a soft brown carpet underfoot. The atmosphere was filled with a serene, dim light.
Near the threshold he stopped, horror-stricken at the sight of a thing.
Near the doorway, he paused, horrified at the sight of something.
He was being looked at by a dead man who was seated with his back against a columnlike tree. The corpse was dressed in a uniform that had once been blue, but was now faded to a melancholy shade of green. The eyes, staring at the youth, had changed to the dull hue to be seen on the side of a dead fish. The mouth was open. Its red had changed to an appalling yellow. Over the gray skin of the face ran little ants. One was trundling some sort of bundle along the upper lip.
He was being watched by a dead man sitting with his back against a column-like tree. The corpse was in a uniform that used to be blue but had now faded to a sad shade of green. The eyes, fixed on the young man, had turned to the dull color seen on the side of a dead fish. The mouth was open. Its red had changed to a terrible yellow. Tiny ants crawled over the gray skin of the face. One was dragging some kind of bundle along the upper lip.
The youth gave a shriek as he confronted the thing. He was for moments turned to stone before it. He remained staring into the liquid-looking eyes. The dead man and the living man exchanged a long look. Then the youth cautiously put one hand behind him and brought it against a tree. Leaning upon this he retreated, step by step, with his face still toward the thing. He feared that if he turned his back the body might spring up and stealthily pursue him.
The young man let out a scream when he faced the creature. He stood frozen for a moment, staring into its liquid-looking eyes. The dead man and the living man shared a long gaze. Then the young man carefully placed one hand behind him and leaned against a tree. He backed away slowly, keeping his eyes on the creature, afraid that if he turned his back, the body might suddenly come to life and silently chase after him.
The branches, pushing against him, threatened to throw him over upon it. His unguided feet, too, caught aggravatingly in brambles; and with it all he received a subtle suggestion to touch the corpse. As he thought of his hand upon it he shuddered profoundly.
The branches, pushing against him, threatened to throw him onto it. His unsteady feet kept getting caught in brambles; and on top of that, he felt a strange urge to touch the body. The thought of his hand on it made him shudder deeply.
At last he burst the bonds which had fastened him to the spot and fled, unheeding the underbrush. He was pursued by the sight of black ants swarming greedily upon the gray face and venturing horribly near to the eyes.
At last, he broke free from the ties that had held him in place and ran, ignoring the underbrush. He was haunted by the sight of black ants swarming eagerly over the gray face, getting alarmingly close to the eyes.
After a time he paused, and, breathless and panting, listened. He imagined some strange voice would come from the dead throat and squawk after him in horrible menaces.
After a while, he stopped, breathless and panting, and listened. He imagined some strange voice would come from the dead throat and squawk at him with terrifying threats.
The trees about the portal of the chapel moved soughingly in a soft wind. A sad silence was upon the little guarding edifice.
The trees around the chapel entrance swayed gently in a light breeze. A quiet sadness hung over the small protective building.
Chapter VIII.
The trees began softly to sing a hymn of twilight. The sun sank until slanted bronze rays struck the forest. There was a lull in the noises of insects as if they had bowed their beaks and were making a devotional pause. There was silence save for the chanted chorus of the trees.
The trees gently started to sing a twilight song. The sun lowered until angled bronze rays hit the forest. The sounds of insects quieted down, as if they had bowed their heads and were taking a moment of devotion. There was silence except for the chanting chorus of the trees.
Then, upon this stillness, there suddenly broke a tremendous clangor of sounds. A crimson roar came from the distance.
Then, in this quiet, a huge noise suddenly erupted. A deep red roar came from far away.
The youth stopped. He was transfixed by this terrific medley of all noises. It was as if worlds were being rended. There was the ripping sound of musketry and the breaking crash of the artillery.
The young man stopped. He was captivated by this amazing mix of sounds. It felt like worlds were being torn apart. He heard the sharp crack of gunfire and the thunderous boom of cannon fire.
His mind flew in all directions. He conceived the two armies to be at each other panther fashion. He listened for a time. Then he began to run in the direction of the battle. He saw that it was an ironical thing for him to be running thus toward that which he had been at such pains to avoid. But he said, in substance, to himself that if the earth and the moon were about to clash, many persons would doubtless plan to get upon the roofs to witness the collision.
His mind raced in all directions. He imagined the two armies facing off like panthers. He listened for a while. Then he started running toward the battle. He realized it was ironic that he was running toward something he had tried so hard to escape. But he told himself that if the earth and the moon were about to collide, many people would probably plan to climb onto their roofs to see it happen.
As he ran, he became aware that the forest had stopped its music, as if at last becoming capable of hearing the foreign sounds. The trees hushed and stood motionless. Everything seemed to be listening to the crackle and clatter and earthshaking thunder. The chorus peaked over the still earth.
As he ran, he noticed that the forest had stopped its music, as if finally able to hear the unfamiliar sounds. The trees quieted and stood still. Everything seemed to be listening to the crackling and clattering and rumbling thunder. The chorus rose over the still ground.
It suddenly occurred to the youth that the fight in which he had been was, after all, but perfunctory popping. In the hearing of this present din he was doubtful if he had seen real battle scenes. This uproar explained a celestial battle; it was tumbling hordes a-struggle in the air.
It suddenly struck the young man that the fight he had been in was, after all, just routine sparring. With all this noise around him, he started to question if he had ever witnessed real battle scenes. This chaos reminded him of a heavenly fight; it was like a mass of struggling forces in the sky.
Reflecting, he saw a sort of a humor in the point of view of himself and his fellows during the late encounter. They had taken themselves and the enemy very seriously and had imagined that they were deciding the war. Individuals must have supposed that they were cutting the letters of their names deep into everlasting tablets of brass, or enshrining their reputations forever in the hearts of their countrymen, while, as to fact, the affair would appear in printed reports under a meek and immaterial title. But he saw that it was good, else, he said, in battle every one would surely run save forlorn hopes and their ilk.
Reflecting on it, he noticed a kind of humor in how he and his buddies perceived things during the recent encounter. They had taken themselves and the enemy way too seriously and thought they were making decisions about the war. Each person probably believed they were carving their names into solid brass tablets or securing their legacies in the hearts of their fellow countrymen, while, in reality, the event would be reported in print with a bland and insignificant title. But he recognized that this was a good thing; otherwise, he said, in battle everyone would definitely flee, except for those who are hopelessly brave and their kind.
He went rapidly on. He wished to come to the edge of the forest that he might peer out.
He moved quickly onward. He wanted to reach the edge of the forest so he could look out.
As he hastened, there passed through his mind pictures of stupendous conflicts. His accumulated thought upon such subjects was used to form scenes. The noise was as the voice of an eloquent being, describing.
As he rushed forward, images of incredible battles flashed through his mind. His gathered thoughts on these topics helped create vivid scenes. The noise sounded like an articulate presence, narrating the stories.
Sometimes the brambles formed chains and tried to hold him back. Trees, confronting him, stretched out their arms and forbade him to pass. After its previous hostility this new resistance of the forest filled him with a fine bitterness. It seemed that Nature could not be quite ready to kill him.
Sometimes the thorns formed chains and tried to hold him back. Trees, facing him, stretched out their branches and blocked his way. After its earlier hostility, this new resistance from the forest filled him with a sharp bitterness. It seemed that Nature wasn't quite ready to let him go.
But he obstinately took roundabout ways, and presently he was where he could see long gray walls of vapor where lay battle lines. The voices of cannon shook him. The musketry sounded in long irregular surges that played havoc with his ears. He stood regardant for a moment. His eyes had an awestruck expression. He gawked in the direction of the fight.
But he stubbornly chose indirect paths, and soon he found himself in a spot where he could see long gray walls of mist where the battle lines were. The sound of cannons rattled him. The rifle fire came in long, uneven waves that were deafening. He stood still for a moment. His eyes showed a mix of awe and shock. He stared toward the fight.
Presently he proceeded again on his forward way. The battle was like the grinding of an immense and terrible machine to him. Its complexities and powers, its grim processes, fascinated him. He must go close and see it produce corpses.
He moved forward again. The battle felt like the grinding of a huge, terrifying machine to him. Its complexities and power, its harsh realities, fascinated him. He had to get closer and see it create corpses.
He came to a fence and clambered over it. On the far side, the ground was littered with clothes and guns. A newspaper, folded up, lay in the dirt. A dead soldier was stretched with his face hidden in his arm. Farther off there was a group of four or five corpses keeping mournful company. A hot sun had blazed upon this spot.
He reached a fence and climbed over it. On the other side, the ground was scattered with clothes and weapons. A crumpled newspaper lay in the dirt. A dead soldier was sprawled out, his face buried in his arm. A little further away, there was a group of four or five corpses lying together. A blazing sun had beat down on this place.
In this place the youth felt that he was an invader. This forgotten part of the battle ground was owned by the dead men, and he hurried, in the vague apprehension that one of the swollen forms would rise and tell him to begone.
In this place, the young man felt like an intruder. This neglected part of the battlefield belonged to the dead, and he rushed through, with a vague sense of fear that one of the bloated bodies would rise up and tell him to leave.
He came finally to a road from which he could see in the distance dark and agitated bodies of troops, smoke-fringed. In the lane was a blood-stained crowd streaming to the rear. The wounded men were cursing, groaning, and wailing. In the air, always, was a mighty swell of sound that it seemed could sway the earth. With the courageous words of the artillery and the spiteful sentences of the musketry mingled red cheers. And from this region of noises came the steady current of the maimed.
He finally reached a road where he could see in the distance dark, agitated groups of troops, surrounded by smoke. In the lane, there was a blood-stained crowd moving back. The wounded men were cursing, groaning, and crying out. There was always a powerful swell of sound in the air that seemed like it could shake the earth. The brave words of the artillery mixed with the harsh sounds of the musket fire and red cheers. From this area of noise came a steady flow of the injured.
One of the wounded men had a shoeful of blood. He hopped like a schoolboy in a game. He was laughing hysterically.
One of the injured men had his shoe filled with blood. He hopped around like a kid playing a game. He was laughing uncontrollably.
One was swearing that he had been shot in the arm through the commanding general’s mismanagement of the army. One was marching with an air imitative of some sublime drum major. Upon his features was an unholy mixture of merriment and agony. As he marched he sang a bit of doggerel in a high and quavering voice:
One was insisting that he had been shot in the arm because of the commanding general’s poor handling of the army. One was marching like a grand drum major. His face showed a strange mix of joy and pain. As he marched, he sang some silly verse in a high, shaky voice:
“Sing a song ’a vic’try,
A pocketful ’a bullets,
Five an’ twenty dead men
Baked in a—pie.”
“Sing a song of victory,
A pocketful of bullets,
Five and twenty dead men
Baked in a—pie.”
Parts of the procession limped and staggered to this tune.
Parts of the procession shuffled and wobbled to this tune.
Another had the gray seal of death already upon his face. His lips were curled in hard lines and his teeth were clinched. His hands were bloody from where he had pressed them upon his wound. He seemed to be awaiting the moment when he should pitch headlong. He stalked like the specter of a soldier, his eyes burning with the power of a stare into the unknown.
Another bore the gray seal of death on his face. His lips were twisted in hard lines and his teeth were clenched. His hands were covered in blood from where he had pressed them against his wound. He appeared to be waiting for the moment when he would collapse. He moved like the ghost of a soldier, his eyes blazing with the intensity of a gaze into the unknown.
There were some who proceeded sullenly, full of anger at their wounds, and ready to turn upon anything as an obscure cause.
There were some who moved along gloomily, full of anger over their injuries, and ready to lash out at anything as a vague reason.
An officer was carried along by two privates. He was peevish. “Don’t joggle so, Johnson, yeh fool,” he cried. “Think m’ leg is made of iron? If yeh can’t carry me decent, put me down an’ let some one else do it.”
An officer was being carried by two privates. He was irritable. “Don’t jostle me like that, Johnson, you idiot,” he shouted. “Do you think my leg is made of iron? If you can’t carry me properly, put me down and let someone else take over.”
He bellowed at the tottering crowd who blocked the quick march of his bearers. “Say, make way there, can’t yeh? Make way, dickens take it all.”
He shouted at the wobbling crowd that was blocking the swift progress of his bearers. “Hey, clear the way, can’t you? Move aside, for heaven's sake.”
They sulkily parted and went to the roadsides. As he was carried past they made pert remarks to him. When he raged in reply and threatened them, they told him to be damned.
They unhappily separated and went to the edges of the road. As he was taken by, they made snarky comments to him. When he got angry in response and threatened them, they told him to screw off.
The shoulder of one of the tramping bearers knocked heavily against the spectral soldier who was staring into the unknown.
The shoulder of one of the hikers bumped hard against the ghostly soldier who was gazing into the unknown.
The youth joined this crowd and marched along with it. The torn bodies expressed the awful machinery in which the men had been entangled.
The young people joined the crowd and marched along with them. The broken bodies showed the terrible machinery that had trapped the men.
Orderlies and couriers occasionally broke through the throng in the roadway, scattering wounded men right and left, galloping on followed by howls. The melancholy march was continually disturbed by the messengers, and sometimes by bustling batteries that came swinging and thumping down upon them, the officers shouting orders to clear the way.
Orderlies and couriers sometimes pushed through the crowd in the road, scattering injured men in all directions, racing forward with cries behind them. The somber march was constantly interrupted by the messengers and occasionally by busy artillery units that came rolling and crashing toward them, with officers shouting orders to clear the path.
There was a tattered man, fouled with dust, blood and powder stain from hair to shoes, who trudged quietly at the youth’s side. He was listening with eagerness and much humility to the lurid descriptions of a bearded sergeant. His lean features wore an expression of awe and admiration. He was like a listener in a country store to wondrous tales told among the sugar barrels. He eyed the story-teller with unspeakable wonder. His mouth was agape in yokel fashion.
There was a worn-out man, covered in dirt, blood, and powder stains from head to toe, who walked quietly beside the young man. He was listening eagerly and humbly to the vivid stories from a bearded sergeant. His thin face showed a mix of awe and admiration. He looked like someone in a small-town store, captivated by amazing tales shared around the candy jars. He gazed at the storyteller with pure wonder, his mouth hanging open like a country bumpkin.
The sergeant, taking note of this, gave pause to his elaborate history while he administered a sardonic comment. “Be keerful, honey, you’ll be a-ketchin’ flies,” he said.
The sergeant, noticing this, paused his detailed story to make a sarcastic remark. “Be careful, honey, you’ll be catching flies,” he said.
The tattered man shrank back abashed.
The man in worn-out clothes stepped back, embarrassed.
After a time he began to sidle near to the youth, and in a diffident way try to make him a friend. His voice was gentle as a girl’s voice and his eyes were pleading. The youth saw with surprise that the soldier had two wounds, one in the head, bound with a blood-soaked rag, and the other in the arm, making that member dangle like a broken bough.
After a while, he started to move closer to the young man, and in a shy way, he tried to befriend him. His voice was soft, like a girl’s, and his eyes were full of longing. The young man was surprised to see that the soldier had two wounds: one on his head wrapped in a blood-soaked rag, and the other on his arm, causing it to hang limply like a broken branch.
After they had walked together for some time the tattered man mustered sufficient courage to speak. “Was pretty good fight, wa’n’t it?” he timidly said. The youth, deep in thought, glanced up at the bloody and grim figure with its lamblike eyes. “What?”
After they had walked together for a while, the ragged man gathered enough courage to say something. “That was a pretty good fight, right?” he said quietly. The young man, deep in thought, looked up at the bloody and grim figure with its innocent eyes. “What?”
“Was pretty good fight, wa’n’t it?”
“Was a pretty good fight, wasn’t it?”
“Yes,” said the youth shortly. He quickened his pace.
“Yes,” the young man replied briefly. He picked up his pace.
But the other hobbled industriously after him. There was an air of apology in his manner, but he evidently thought that he needed only to talk for a time, and the youth would perceive that he was a good fellow.
But the other limped along diligently behind him. He seemed to apologize with his attitude, but he clearly believed that if he just talked for a while, the young man would see that he was a decent guy.
“Was pretty good fight, wa’n’t it?” he began in a small voice, and then he achieved the fortitude to continue. “Dern me if I ever see fellers fight so. Laws, how they did fight! I knowed th’ boys’d like it when they onct got square at it. Th’ boys ain’t had no fair chanct up t’ now, but this time they showed what they was. I knowed it’d turn out this way. Yeh can’t lick them boys. No, sir! They’re fighters, they be.”
"That was a pretty good fight, wasn't it?" he started in a quiet voice, but then he found the courage to go on. "Darn me if I've ever seen guys fight like that. Wow, they really went at it! I knew the boys would enjoy it once they really got into it. They haven't had a fair chance until now, but this time they showed what they could do. I knew it would end up like this. You can't beat those boys. No way! They're fighters, for sure."
He breathed a deep breath of humble admiration. He had looked at the youth for encouragement several times. He received none, but gradually he seemed to get absorbed in his subject.
He took a deep breath of humble admiration. He had looked to the young man for encouragement several times. He got none, but gradually he seemed to become engrossed in his topic.
“I was talkin’ ’cross pickets with a boy from Georgie, onct, an’ that boy, he ses, ‘Your fellers ’ll all run like hell when they onct hearn a gun,’ he ses. ‘Mebbe they will,’ I ses, ‘but I don’t b’lieve none of it,’ I ses; ‘an’ b’jiminey,’ I ses back t’ ’um, ‘mebbe your fellers ’ll all run like hell when they onct hearn a gun,’ I ses. He larfed. Well, they didn’t run t’ day, did they, hey? No, sir! They fit, an’ fit, an’ fit.”
“I was chatting over the fencing with a guy from Georgia once, and he said, ‘Your guys are gonna take off like crazy when they hear a gun,’ he said. ‘Maybe they will,’ I said, ‘but I don’t believe any of that,’ I said; ‘and honestly,’ I said back to him, ‘maybe your guys will all run like crazy when they hear a gun,’ I said. He laughed. Well, they didn’t run today, did they? No way! They fought, and fought, and fought.”
His homely face was suffused with a light of love for the army which was to him all things beautiful and powerful.
His plain face was filled with a glow of love for the army, which to him was everything beautiful and powerful.
After a time he turned to the youth. “Where yeh hit, ol’ boy?” he asked in a brotherly tone.
After a while, he turned to the young man. “Where did you get hurt, buddy?” he asked in a friendly tone.
The youth felt instant panic at this question, although at first its full import was not borne in upon him.
The young person felt a wave of panic at this question, even though at first, he didn't fully grasp its significance.
“What?” he asked.
"What?" he asked.
“Where yeh hit?” repeated the tattered man.
“Where'd you hit?” repeated the tattered man.
“Why,” began the youth, “I—I—that is—why—I—”
“Why,” started the young man, “I—I—that is—why—I—”
He turned away suddenly and slid through the crowd. His brow was heavily flushed, and his fingers were picking nervously at one of his buttons. He bent his head and fastened his eyes studiously upon the button as if it were a little problem.
He suddenly turned away and moved through the crowd. His forehead was flushed, and his fingers were nervously fidgeting with one of his buttons. He lowered his head and focused intently on the button as if it were a small puzzle.
The tattered man looked after him in astonishment.
The shabby man watched him in disbelief.
Chapter IX.
The youth fell back in the procession until the tattered soldier was not in sight. Then he started to walk on with the others.
The young man fell behind in the procession until the worn-out soldier was out of sight. Then he began to walk on with the others.
But he was amid wounds. The mob of men was bleeding. Because of the tattered soldier’s question he now felt that his shame could be viewed. He was continually casting sidelong glances to see if the men were contemplating the letters of guilt he felt burned into his brow.
But he was surrounded by wounds. The crowd of men was bleeding. Because of the tattered soldier’s question, he now felt that his shame was visible. He kept throwing sideways glances to see if the men were noticing the marks of guilt he felt seared into his forehead.
At times he regarded the wounded soldiers in an envious way. He conceived persons with torn bodies to be peculiarly happy. He wished that he, too, had a wound, a red badge of courage.
At times, he looked at the wounded soldiers with envy. He thought those with injured bodies were strangely lucky. He wished he had a wound too, a red badge of courage.
The spectral soldier was at his side like a stalking reproach. The man’s eyes were still fixed in a stare into the unknown. His gray, appalling face had attracted attention in the crowd, and men, slowing to his dreary pace, were walking with him. They were discussing his plight, questioning him and giving him advice. In a dogged way he repelled them, signing to them to go on and leave him alone. The shadows of his face were deepening and his tight lips seemed holding in check the moan of great despair. There could be seen a certain stiffness in the movements of his body, as if he were taking infinite care not to arouse the passion of his wounds. As he went on, he seemed always looking for a place, like one who goes to choose a grave.
The ghostly soldier was beside him, like a haunting reminder of his troubles. The man’s eyes were still fixed on something unseen. His gray, ghastly face caught the attention of those around him, and people, slowing down to match his gloomy pace, walked with him. They were talking about his situation, asking him questions and offering advice. He stubbornly pushed them away, signaling for them to move on and leave him be. The shadows on his face grew darker, and his tight lips seemed to be holding back a deep sigh of despair. There was a noticeable stiffness in his movements, as if he were carefully trying not to stir the pain of his wounds. As he continued on, it felt like he was always searching for a spot, like someone trying to find a grave.
Something in the gesture of the man as he waved the bloody and pitying soldiers away made the youth start as if bitten. He yelled in horror. Tottering forward he laid a quivering hand upon the man’s arm. As the latter slowly turned his waxlike features toward him the youth screamed:
Something in the way the man waved the bloody and pitiful soldiers away startled the young man as if he had been bitten. He yelled in terror. Stumbling forward, he placed a trembling hand on the man’s arm. As the man slowly turned his waxy face towards him, the youth screamed:
“Gawd! Jim Conklin!”
“God! Jim Conklin!”
The tall soldier made a little commonplace smile. “Hello, Henry,” he said.
The tall soldier gave a quick, ordinary smile. “Hey, Henry,” he said.
The youth swayed on his legs and glared strangely. He stuttered and stammered. “Oh, Jim—oh, Jim—oh, Jim—”
The young man swayed on his feet and stared oddly. He stumbled over his words. “Oh, Jim—oh, Jim—oh, Jim—”
The tall soldier held out his gory hand. There was a curious red and black combination of new blood and old blood upon it. “Where yeh been, Henry?” he asked. He continued in a monotonous voice, “I thought mebbe yeh got keeled over. There been thunder t’ pay t’-day. I was worryin’ about it a good deal.”
The tall soldier extended his bloody hand. There was a strange mix of fresh and dried blood on it. “Where have you been, Henry?” he asked. He continued in a flat voice, “I thought maybe you had fallen over. There’s been a storm brewing today. I was really worried about it.”
The youth still lamented. “Oh, Jim—oh, Jim—oh, Jim—”
The young person continued to mourn. “Oh, Jim—oh, Jim—oh, Jim—”
“Yeh know,” said the tall soldier, “I was out there.” He made a careful gesture. “An’, Lord, what a circus! An’, b’jiminey, I got shot—I got shot. Yes, b’jiminey, I got shot.” He reiterated this fact in a bewildered way, as if he did not know how it came about.
“Y’know,” said the tall soldier, “I was out there.” He made a careful gesture. “And, wow, what a circus! And, I swear, I got shot—I got shot. Yes, I swear, I got shot.” He repeated this fact in a confused way, as if he didn’t understand how it happened.
The youth put forth anxious arms to assist him, but the tall soldier went firmly as if propelled. Since the youth’s arrival as a guardian for his friend, the other wounded men had ceased to display much interest. They occupied themselves again in dragging their own tragedies toward the rear.
The young man reached out nervously to help him, but the tall soldier moved steadily as if he was on a mission. Ever since the young man showed up to look after his friend, the other injured soldiers had lost most of their interest. They went back to focusing on dragging their own struggles toward the back.
Suddenly, as the two friends marched on, the tall soldier seemed to be overcome by a tremor. His face turned to a semblance of gray paste. He clutched the youth’s arm and looked all about him, as if dreading to be overheard. Then he began to speak in a shaking whisper:
Suddenly, as the two friends walked on, the tall soldier appeared to be shaken. His face turned a shade of gray. He grabbed the youth’s arm and glanced around, as if afraid of being overheard. Then he started to speak in a trembling whisper:
“I tell yeh what I’m ’fraid of, Henry—I’ll tell yeh what I’m ’fraid of. I’m ’fraid I’ll fall down—an’ them yeh know—them damned artillery wagons—they like as not ’ll run over me. That’s what I’m ’fraid of—”
“I'll tell you what I'm afraid of, Henry—I’m afraid I’ll fall down—and you know those damn artillery wagons—they're probably going to run over me. That’s what I'm afraid of—”
The youth cried out to him hysterically: “I’ll take care of yeh, Jim! I’ll take care of yeh! I swear t’ Gawd I will!”
The young man shouted to him desperately: “I’ll take care of you, Jim! I’ll take care of you! I swear to God I will!”
“Sure—will yeh, Henry?” the tall soldier beseeched.
“Sure—will you, Henry?” the tall soldier pleaded.
“Yes—yes—I tell yeh—I’ll take care of yeh, Jim!” protested the youth. He could not speak accurately because of the gulpings in his throat.
“Yes—yes—I’m telling you—I’ll take care of you, Jim!” the young man insisted. He couldn't speak clearly because he was choking up.
But the tall soldier continued to beg in a lowly way. He now hung babelike to the youth’s arm. His eyes rolled in the wildness of his terror. “I was allus a good friend t’ yeh, wa’n’t I, Henry? I’ve allus been a pretty good feller, ain’t I? An’ it ain’t much t’ ask, is it? Jest t’ pull me along outer th’ road? I’d do it fer you, wouldn’t I, Henry?”
But the tall soldier kept pleading humbly. He now clung like a vine to the young man's arm. His eyes were wild with fear. “I’ve always been a good friend to you, right, Henry? I’ve always been a decent guy, haven’t I? And it’s not a lot to ask, is it? Just to pull me off the road? I’d do it for you, wouldn’t I, Henry?”
He paused in piteous anxiety to await his friend’s reply.
He paused in worried anticipation for his friend's response.
The youth had reached an anguish where the sobs scorched him. He strove to express his loyalty, but he could only make fantastic gestures.
The young man had reached a point of such anguish that his sobs burned him. He tried to express his loyalty, but all he could manage were exaggerated gestures.
However, the tall soldier seemed suddenly to forget all those fears. He became again the grim, stalking specter of a soldier. He went stonily forward. The youth wished his friend to lean upon him, but the other always shook his head and strangely protested. “No—no—no—leave me be—leave me be—”
However, the tall soldier suddenly seemed to forget all those fears. He transformed back into the grim, looming figure of a soldier. He moved forward stiffly. The young man wanted his friend to lean on him, but the other kept shaking his head and oddly protesting. “No—no—no—just leave me be—leave me be—”
His look was fixed again upon the unknown. He moved with mysterious purpose, and all of the youth’s offers he brushed aside. “No—no—leave me be—leave me be—”
His gaze was once again set on the unknown. He moved with a mysterious purpose, brushing aside all the offers from the youth. "No—no—just leave me alone—leave me alone—"
The youth had to follow.
The youth had to comply.
Presently the latter heard a voice talking softly near his shoulder. Turning he saw that it belonged to the tattered soldier. “Ye’d better take ’im outa th’ road, pardner. There’s a batt’ry comin’ helitywhoop down th’ road an’ he’ll git runned over. He’s a goner anyhow in about five minutes—yeh kin see that. Ye’d better take ’im outa th’ road. Where th’ blazes does hi git his stren’th from?”
Currently, he heard a voice speaking quietly near his shoulder. Turning, he saw that it belonged to the worn-out soldier. “You’d better get him out of the way, partner. There’s a battery coming down the road fast, and he’ll get run over. He’s not going to make it anyway in about five minutes—you can see that. You’d better move him out of the way. Where the heck does he get his strength from?”
“Lord knows!” cried the youth. He was shaking his hands helplessly.
“God knows!” the young man exclaimed, shaking his hands in frustration.
He ran forward presently and grasped the tall soldier by the arm. “Jim! Jim!” he coaxed, “come with me.”
He ran forward and grabbed the tall soldier by the arm. “Jim! Jim!” he urged, “come with me.”
The tall soldier weakly tried to wrench himself free. “Huh,” he said vacantly. He stared at the youth for a moment. At last he spoke as if dimly comprehending. “Oh! Inteh th’ fields? Oh!”
The tall soldier weakly tried to pull himself free. “Huh,” he said blankly. He stared at the young man for a moment. Finally, he spoke as if he understood a little. “Oh! In the fields? Oh!”
He started blindly through the grass.
He started walking blindly through the grass.
The youth turned once to look at the lashing riders and jouncing guns of the battery. He was startled from this view by a shrill outcry from the tattered man.
The young man turned to glance at the whipping riders and bouncing cannons of the battery. He was jolted from this sight by a sharp shout from the ragged man.
“Gawd! He’s runnin’!”
“Wow! He's running!”
Turning his head swiftly, the youth saw his friend running in a staggering and stumbling way toward a little clump of bushes. His heart seemed to wrench itself almost free from his body at this sight. He made a noise of pain. He and the tattered man began a pursuit. There was a singular race.
Turning his head quickly, the young man saw his friend running awkwardly toward a small group of bushes. His heart felt like it was about to jump out of his chest at the sight. He let out a sound of distress. He and the ragged man started chasing after him. It was a strange race.
When he overtook the tall soldier he began to plead with all the words he could find. “Jim—Jim—what are you doing—what makes you do this way—you’ll hurt yerself.”
When he caught up to the tall soldier, he started to plead with every word he could think of. “Jim—Jim—what are you doing—why are you acting like this—you’ll hurt yourself.”
The same purpose was in the tall soldier’s face. He protested in a dulled way, keeping his eyes fastened on the mystic place of his intentions. “No—no—don’t tech me—leave me be—leave me be—”
The same determination was clear on the tall soldier’s face. He protested in a muted way, keeping his eyes focused on the mysterious place of his intentions. “No—no—don’t touch me—leave me alone—leave me alone—”
The youth, aghast and filled with wonder at the tall soldier, began quaveringly to question him. “Where yeh goin’, Jim? What you thinking about? Where you going? Tell me, won’t you, Jim?”
The young man, shocked and amazed by the tall soldier, started to nervously ask him questions. “Where are you going, Jim? What are you thinking about? Where are you headed? Please tell me, won’t you, Jim?”
The tall soldier faced about as upon relentless pursuers. In his eyes there was a great appeal. “Leave me be, can’t yeh? Leave me be for a minnit.”
The tall soldier turned around to confront his relentless pursuers. There was a deep plea in his eyes. “Can’t you just leave me alone for a minute?”
The youth recoiled. “Why, Jim,” he said, in a dazed way, “what’s the matter with you?”
The young guy stepped back. “Why, Jim,” he said, looking confused, “what's wrong with you?”
The tall soldier turned and, lurching dangerously, went on. The youth and the tattered soldier followed, sneaking as if whipped, feeling unable to face the stricken man if he should again confront them. They began to have thoughts of a solemn ceremony. There was something rite-like in these movements of the doomed soldier. And there was a resemblance in him to a devotee of a mad religion, blood-sucking, muscle-wrenching, bone-crushing. They were awed and afraid. They hung back lest he have at command a dreadful weapon.
The tall soldier turned and, stumbling unsteadily, carried on. The young man and the ragged soldier followed, creeping along like they were being punished, feeling too scared to face the injured man if he were to confront them again. They started to think of a serious ceremony. There was something ritualistic in the way the doomed soldier moved. And he resembled a follower of a crazy religion, one that sucked blood, strained muscles, and crushed bones. They felt a mix of awe and fear. They held back, worried he might have some terrifying weapon at his disposal.
At last, they saw him stop and stand motionless. Hastening up, they perceived that his face wore an expression telling that he had at last found the place for which he had struggled. His spare figure was erect; his bloody hands were quietly at his side. He was waiting with patience for something that he had come to meet. He was at the rendezvous. They paused and stood, expectant.
At last, they saw him stop and stand still. Rushing over, they noticed his face had an expression that showed he had finally found the place he had been searching for. His lean figure was upright; his bloodied hands were calmly at his sides. He was patiently waiting for something he had come to meet. He was at the meeting point. They stopped and stood, anticipating.
There was a silence.
It was silent.
Finally, the chest of the doomed soldier began to heave with a strained motion. It increased in violence until it was as if an animal was within and was kicking and tumbling furiously to be free.
Finally, the chest of the doomed soldier started to rise and fall with a strained motion. It became more intense until it felt like an animal was trapped inside, kicking and struggling wildly to escape.
This spectacle of gradual strangulation made the youth writhe, and once as his friend rolled his eyes, he saw something in them that made him sink wailing to the ground. He raised his voice in a last supreme call.
This scene of slow suffocation made the young man squirm, and when his friend rolled his eyes, he noticed something in them that caused him to fall to the ground, crying out. He raised his voice for one final, desperate plea.
“Jim—Jim—Jim—”
“Jim, Jim, Jim,”
The tall soldier opened his lips and spoke. He made a gesture. “Leave me be—don’t tech me—leave me be—”
The tall soldier opened his mouth and spoke. He made a gesture. “Leave me alone—don’t touch me—leave me alone—”
There was another silence while he waited.
There was another pause as he waited.
Suddenly his form stiffened and straightened. Then it was shaken by a prolonged ague. He stared into space. To the two watchers there was a curious and profound dignity in the firm lines of his awful face.
Suddenly his body stiffened and straightened. Then it was shook by a long-lasting chill. He stared blankly ahead. To the two observers, there was a strange and deep dignity in the strong features of his terrifying face.
He was invaded by a creeping strangeness that slowly enveloped him. For a moment the tremor of his legs caused him to dance a sort of hideous hornpipe. His arms beat wildly about his head in expression of implike enthusiasm.
He was overtaken by a growing sense of unease that gradually wrapped around him. For a moment, the shaking in his legs made him move in a bizarre, twitchy way. His arms flailed wildly above his head, showing an uncontrollable excitement.
His tall figure stretched itself to its full height. There was a slight rending sound. Then it began to swing forward, slow and straight, in the manner of a falling tree. A swift muscular contortion made the left shoulder strike the ground first.
His tall frame straightened to its full height. There was a slight tearing sound. Then it started to lean forward, slow and steady, like a falling tree. A quick, powerful movement caused the left shoulder to hit the ground first.
The body seemed to bounce a little way from the earth. “God!” said the tattered soldier.
The body seemed to lift slightly off the ground. “Wow!” said the worn-out soldier.
The youth had watched, spellbound, this ceremony at the place of meeting. His face had been twisted into an expression of every agony he had imagined for his friend.
The young man watched, captivated, as the ceremony took place at the meeting spot. His face was contorted with a mix of every pain he had envisioned for his friend.
He now sprang to his feet and, going closer, gazed upon the pastelike face. The mouth was open and the teeth showed in a laugh.
He sprang to his feet and, moving closer, looked at the paste-like face. The mouth was open and the teeth were visible in a laugh.
As the flap of the blue jacket fell away from the body, he could see that the side looked as if it had been chewed by wolves.
As the flap of the blue jacket fell away from the body, he could see that the side looked like it had been chewed by wolves.
The youth turned, with sudden, livid rage, toward the battlefield. He shook his fist. He seemed about to deliver a philippic.
The young man turned, filled with sudden, fierce anger, towards the battlefield. He shook his fist. He looked ready to unleash a tirade.
“Hell—”
“Damn—”
The red sun was pasted in the sky like a wafer.
The red sun was stuck in the sky like a sticker.
Chapter X.
The tattered man stood musing.
The ragged man stood thinking.
“Well, he was a reg’lar jim-dandy fer nerve, wa’n’t he,” said he finally in a little awestruck voice. “A reg’lar jim-dandy.” He thoughtfully poked one of the docile hands with his foot. “I wonner where he got ’is stren’th from? I never seen a man do like that before. It was a funny thing. Well, he was a reg’lar jim-dandy.”
"Well, he was an absolute champ for having nerve, wasn’t he," he finally said in a slightly amazed voice. "An absolute champ." He thoughtfully nudged one of the relaxed hands with his foot. "I wonder where he got his strength from? I’ve never seen a man do something like that before. It was a strange thing. Well, he was an absolute champ."
The youth desired to screech out his grief. He was stabbed, but his tongue lay dead in the tomb of his mouth. He threw himself again upon the ground and began to brood.
The young man wanted to scream out his pain. He was hurt, but his tongue felt lifeless in his mouth. He threw himself back on the ground and started to sulk.
The tattered man stood musing.
The ragged man stood thinking.
“Look-a-here, pardner,” he said, after a time. He regarded the corpse as he spoke. “He’s up an’ gone, ain’t ’e, an’ we might as well begin t’ look out fer ol’ number one. This here thing is all over. He’s up an’ gone, ain’t ’e? An’ he’s all right here. Nobody won’t bother ’im. An’ I must say I ain’t enjoying any great health m’self these days.”
“Listen here, partner,” he said after a while, looking at the corpse as he spoke. “He’s gone, isn’t he? So we might as well start looking out for ourselves. This whole situation is done. He’s gone for good, right? And he’s right here. Nobody’s going to bother him. And I have to say, I’m not feeling too great myself these days.”
The youth, awakened by the tattered soldier’s tone, looked quickly up. He saw that he was swinging uncertainly on his legs and that his face had turned to a shade of blue.
The young man, stirred by the worn soldier's voice, glanced up quickly. He noticed the soldier was swaying unsteadily on his feet and that his face had turned a bluish color.
“Good Lord!” he cried, “you ain’t goin’ t’—not you, too.”
“Good Lord!” he exclaimed, “you’re not going to— not you, too.”
The tattered man waved his hand. “Nary die,” he said. “All I want is some pea soup an’ a good bed. Some pea soup,” he repeated dreamfully.
The ragged man waved his hand. “Not gonna die,” he said. “All I want is some pea soup and a comfy bed. Some pea soup,” he repeated, with a dreamy look.
The youth arose from the ground. “I wonder where he came from. I left him over there.” He pointed. “And now I find ’im here. And he was coming from over there, too.” He indicated a new direction. They both turned toward the body as if to ask of it a question.
The young man got up from the ground. “I wonder where he came from. I left him over there.” He pointed. “And now I find him here. And he was coming from over there, too.” He indicated a different direction. They both turned toward the body as if to ask it a question.
“Well,” at length spoke the tattered man, “there ain’t no use in our stayin’ here an’ tryin’ t’ ask him anything.”
“Well,” the ragged man finally said, “there’s no point in us sticking around and trying to ask him anything.”
The youth nodded an assent wearily. They both turned to gaze for a moment at the corpse.
The young person nodded tiredly in agreement. They both paused to look at the body for a moment.
The youth murmured something.
The young people whispered something.
“Well, he was a jim-dandy, wa’n’t ’e?” said the tattered man as if in response.
“Well, he was really something, wasn’t he?” said the tattered man as if in response.
They turned their backs upon it and started away. For a time they stole softly, treading with their toes. It remained laughing there in the grass.
They turned away from it and began to walk off. For a while, they moved quietly, walking on their toes. It continued to laugh there in the grass.
“I’m commencin’ t’ feel pretty bad,” said the tattered man, suddenly breaking one of his little silences. “I’m commencin’ t’ feel pretty damn’ bad.”
“I’m starting to feel pretty bad,” said the tattered man, suddenly breaking one of his little silences. “I’m starting to feel pretty damn bad.”
The youth groaned. “Oh Lord!” He wondered if he was to be the tortured witness of another grim encounter.
The young man groaned. “Oh Lord!” He wondered if he was about to be the tortured witness of another grim encounter.
But his companion waved his hand reassuringly. “Oh, I’m not goin’ t’ die yit! There too much dependin’ on me fer me t’ die yit. No, sir! Nary die! I can’t! Ye’d oughta see th’ swad a’ chil’ren I’ve got, an’ all like that.”
But his companion waved his hand reassuringly. “Oh, I’m not going to die yet! There’s too much depending on me for me to die yet. No way! Not a chance! I can’t! You should see the bunch of kids I’ve got, and all that.”
The youth glancing at his companion could see by the shadow of a smile that he was making some kind of fun.
The young man looking at his friend could tell from the hint of a smile that he was joking around.
As they plodded on the tattered soldier continued to talk. “Besides, if I died, I wouldn’t die th’ way that feller did. That was th’ funniest thing. I’d jest flop down, I would. I never seen a feller die th’ way that feller did.
As they trudged along, the worn-out soldier kept talking. “Besides, if I died, I wouldn’t go out like that guy did. That was the craziest thing. I’d just drop down, I really would. I’ve never seen anyone die like that guy did."
“Yeh know Tom Jamison, he lives next door t’ me up home. He’s a nice feller, he is, an’ we was allus good friends. Smart, too. Smart as a steel trap. Well, when we was a-fightin’ this atternoon, all-of-a-sudden he begin t’ rip up an’ cuss an’ beller at me. ‘Yer shot, yeh blamed infernal!’—he swear horrible—he ses t’ me. I put up m’ hand t’ m’ head an’ when I looked at m’ fingers, I seen, sure ’nough, I was shot. I give a holler an’ begin t’ run, but b’fore I could git away another one hit me in th’ arm an’ whirl’ me clean ’round. I got skeared when they was all a-shootin’ b’hind me an’ I run t’ beat all, but I cotch it pretty bad. I’ve an idee I’d a been fightin’ yit, if t’wasn’t fer Tom Jamison.”
“Do you know Tom Jamison? He lives next door to me back home. He's a nice guy, and we were always good friends. Really smart, too. Smart as a whip. Well, while we were fighting this afternoon, all of a sudden he started tearing into me, cursing and yelling. ‘You’re shot, you damn fool!’—he swore like crazy—he said to me. I put my hand to my head, and when I looked at my fingers, I realized I was shot. I let out a shout and started to run, but before I could get away, another one hit me in the arm and spun me around. I got scared when they were all shooting behind me, and I ran like crazy, but I really got hit hard. I have a feeling I’d still be fighting if it wasn't for Tom Jamison.”
Then he made a calm announcement: “There’s two of ’em—little ones—but they’re beginnin’ t’ have fun with me now. I don’t b’lieve I kin walk much furder.”
Then he made a calm announcement: “There are two of them—small ones—but they’re starting to have fun with me now. I don’t think I can walk much further.”
They went slowly on in silence. “Yeh look pretty peek’ed yerself,” said the tattered man at last. “I bet yeh’ve got a worser one than yeh think. Ye’d better take keer of yer hurt. It don’t do t’ let sech things go. It might be inside mostly, an’ them plays thunder. Where is it located?” But he continued his harangue without waiting for a reply. “I see a feller git hit plum in th’ head when my reg’ment was a-standin’ at ease onct. An’ everybody yelled to ’im: ‘Hurt, John? Are yeh hurt much?’ ‘No,’ ses he. He looked kinder surprised, an’ he went on tellin’ ’em how he felt. He sed he didn’t feel nothin’. But, by dad, th’ first thing that feller knowed he was dead. Yes, he was dead—stone dead. So, yeh wanta watch out. Yeh might have some queer kind ’a hurt yerself. Yeh can’t never tell. Where is your’n located?”
They walked slowly in silence. “You look pretty worn out yourself,” said the tattered man finally. “I bet you’ve got a worse injury than you think. You’d better take care of your hurt. It’s not good to let things like that go. It might be mostly internal, and those can be serious. Where is it located?” But he continued his rant without waiting for an answer. “I saw a guy get hit right in the head when my regiment was standing at ease once. And everyone shouted to him: ‘Are you hurt, John? Are you hurt badly?’ ‘No,’ he said. He looked kind of surprised, and he kept on telling them how he felt. He said he didn’t feel anything. But, man, the first thing that guy knew, he was dead. Yeah, he was dead—totally dead. So, you want to be careful. You might have some strange kind of injury yourself. You can never tell. Where is yours located?”
The youth had been wriggling since the introduction of this topic. He now gave a cry of exasperation and made a furious motion with his hand. “Oh, don’t bother me!” he said. He was enraged against the tattered man, and could have strangled him. His companions seemed ever to play intolerable parts. They were ever upraising the ghost of shame on the stick of their curiosity. He turned toward the tattered man as one at bay. “Now, don’t bother me,” he repeated with desperate menace.
The young man had been squirming since they brought up this topic. He let out a frustrated shout and waved his hand angrily. “Oh, don’t bother me!” he said. He was furious with the ragged man and could have throttled him. His friends always seemed to play unbearable roles. They constantly raised the ghost of shame with their curiosity. He turned to the ragged man as if cornered. “Now, don’t bother me,” he repeated with a sense of threatening urgency.
“Well, Lord knows I don’t wanta bother anybody,” said the other. There was a little accent of despair in his voice as he replied, “Lord knows I’ve gota ’nough m’ own t’ tend to.”
“Well, I definitely don’t want to bother anyone,” said the other. There was a hint of despair in his voice as he replied, “I’ve got enough of my own to deal with.”
The youth, who had been holding a bitter debate with himself and casting glances of hatred and contempt at the tattered man, here spoke in a hard voice. “Good-by,” he said.
The young man, who had been having a harsh argument with himself and shooting looks of disgust and disdain at the shabby man, spoke in a cold tone. “Goodbye,” he said.
The tattered man looked at him in gaping amazement. “Why—why, pardner, where yeh goin’?” he asked unsteadily. The youth looking at him, could see that he, too, like that other one, was beginning to act dumb and animal-like. His thoughts seemed to be floundering about in his head. “Now—now—look—a—here, you Tom Jamison—now—I won’t have this—this here won’t do. Where—where yeh goin’?”
The ragged man stared at him in shock. “Why—why, partner, where are you going?” he asked unsteadily. The young man could see that he, just like the other guy, was starting to act dazed and animalistic. His thoughts seemed to be swirling around in his mind. “Now—now—listen—here, you Tom Jamison—now—I can't accept this—this won’t work. Where—where are you going?”
The youth pointed vaguely. “Over there,” he replied.
The young man pointed in a general direction. “Over there,” he said.
“Well, now look—a—here—now,” said the tattered man, rambling on in idiot fashion. His head was hanging forward and his words were slurred. “This thing won’t do, now, Tom Jamison. It won’t do. I know yeh, yeh pig-headed devil. Yeh wanta go trompin’ off with a bad hurt. It ain’t right—now—Tom Jamison—it ain’t. Yeh wanta leave me take keer of yeh, Tom Jamison. It ain’t—right—it ain’t—fer yeh t’ go—trompin’ off—with a bad hurt—it ain’t—ain’t—ain’t right—it ain’t.”
"Well, look here now," said the worn-out man, mumbling like an idiot. His head was drooping forward and his words were slurred. "This isn't right, Tom Jamison. It just won’t do. I know you, you stubborn devil. You want to go stomping off with an injury. That’s not right, Tom Jamison, it's not. You should let me take care of you, Tom Jamison. It’s not right for you to go tromping off with a bad injury—it's not—it's not—it's simply not right—it isn’t."
In reply the youth climbed a fence and started away. He could hear the tattered man bleating plaintively.
In response, the young man climbed over a fence and began to walk away. He could hear the ragged man calling out sadly.
Once he faced about angrily. “What?”
Once he turned around angrily. “What?”
“Look—a—here, now, Tom Jamison—now—it ain’t—”
"Look here, Tom Jamison, it isn't—"
The youth went on. Turning at a distance he saw the tattered man wandering about helplessly in the field.
The young man continued on. Turning around, he saw the ragged man aimlessly wandering in the field.
He now thought that he wished he was dead. He believed he envied those men whose bodies lay strewn over the grass of the fields and on the fallen leaves of the forest.
He now thought that he wished he were dead. He believed he envied those men whose bodies lay scattered over the grass of the fields and on the fallen leaves of the forest.
The simple questions of the tattered man had been knife thrusts to him. They asserted a society that probes pitilessly at secrets until all is apparent. His late companion’s chance persistency made him feel that he could not keep his crime concealed in his bosom. It was sure to be brought plain by one of those arrows which cloud the air and are constantly pricking, discovering, proclaiming those things which are willed to be forever hidden. He admitted that he could not defend himself against this agency. It was not within the power of vigilance.
The straightforward questions from the worn-out man felt like sharp knife blows to him. They highlighted a society that relentlessly digs into secrets until everything is revealed. His late companion’s relentless curiosity made him feel like he couldn’t hide his guilt any longer. It would inevitably be exposed by one of those piercing arrows that fill the air and continuously poke, uncovering, and revealing what people want to keep hidden forever. He acknowledged that he couldn’t defend himself against this force. It was beyond the reach of careful watchfulness.
Chapter XI.
He became aware that the furnace roar of the battle was growing louder. Great blown clouds had floated to the still heights of air before him. The noise, too, was approaching. The woods filtered men and the fields became dotted.
He noticed that the roar of the battle was getting louder. Huge clouds had drifted up to the calm heights of the sky in front of him. The noise was also coming closer. The woods were filling with soldiers, and the fields were becoming scattered with them.
As he rounded a hillock, he perceived that the roadway was now a crying mass of wagons, teams, and men. From the heaving tangle issued exhortations, commands, imprecations. Fear was sweeping it all along. The cracking whips bit and horses plunged and tugged. The white-topped wagons strained and stumbled in their exertions like fat sheep.
As he turned the corner of a small hill, he saw that the road was now packed with wagons, teams, and people. From the chaotic mix came shouts, orders, and curses. Fear was spreading through the crowd. The cracking whips snapped, and horses reared and pulled. The white-topped wagons struggled and lurched in their efforts like heavy sheep.
The youth felt comforted in a measure by this sight. They were all retreating. Perhaps, then, he was not so bad after all. He seated himself and watched the terror-stricken wagons. They fled like soft, ungainly animals. All the roarers and lashers served to help him to magnify the dangers and horrors of the engagement that he might try to prove to himself that the thing with which men could charge him was in truth a symmetrical act. There was an amount of pleasure to him in watching the wild march of this vindication.
The young man felt somewhat reassured by what he saw. Everyone was pulling back. Maybe he wasn’t so terrible after all. He sat down and observed the frightened wagons. They escaped like clumsy, timid creatures. All the shouting and whipping made it easier for him to exaggerate the risks and terrors of the fight, allowing him to convince himself that what people accused him of was actually a well-ordered action. He found a strange satisfaction in watching the chaotic retreat that validated his feelings.
Presently the calm head of a forward-going column of infantry appeared in the road. It came swiftly on. Avoiding the obstructions gave it the sinuous movement of a serpent. The men at the head butted mules with their musket stocks. They prodded teamsters indifferent to all howls. The men forced their way through parts of the dense mass by strength. The blunt head of the column pushed. The raving teamsters swore many strange oaths.
Right now, the calm leader of a marching infantry column appeared on the road. It advanced quickly. Dodging obstacles gave it the winding movement of a snake. The soldiers at the front shoved mules with their musket stocks. They poked teamsters who didn't care about all the yelling. The men pushed their way through sections of the dense crowd with sheer strength. The blunt front of the column pressed forward. The angry teamsters shouted many unusual curses.
The commands to make way had the ring of a great importance in them. The men were going forward to the heart of the din. They were to confront the eager rush of the enemy. They felt the pride of their onward movement when the remainder of the army seemed trying to dribble down this road. They tumbled teams about with a fine feeling that it was no matter so long as their column got to the front in time. This importance made their faces grave and stern. And the backs of the officers were very rigid.
The commands to clear the way sounded extremely important. The men moved forward into the chaos. They were about to face the enthusiastic advance of the enemy. They felt a sense of pride in their progress while the rest of the army seemed to be struggling to make their way down the road. They rearranged the teams with a strong sense of purpose, believing it didn’t matter as long as their column reached the front on time. This importance made their expressions serious and stern. The officers stood with their backs very straight.
As the youth looked at them the black weight of his woe returned to him. He felt that he was regarding a procession of chosen beings. The separation was as great to him as if they had marched with weapons of flame and banners of sunlight. He could never be like them. He could have wept in his longings.
As the young man watched them, the heavy burden of his sorrow came back to him. He felt like he was observing a parade of special people. The distance between them seemed as vast as if they were marching with fiery weapons and banners of sunlight. He realized he could never be like them. He could have cried from his desires.
He searched about in his mind for an adequate malediction for the indefinite cause, the thing upon which men turn the words of final blame. It—whatever it was—was responsible for him, he said. There lay the fault.
He searched his mind for a fitting curse for the unknown reason, the thing that people blame in the end. It—whatever it was—was responsible for him, he said. That was where the fault lay.
The haste of the column to reach the battle seemed to the forlorn young man to be something much finer than stout fighting. Heroes, he thought, could find excuses in that long seething lane. They could retire with perfect self-respect and make excuses to the stars.
The rush of the group to get to the battle felt to the lonely young man like something much greater than just tough fighting. He thought heroes could find justifications in that long, boiling line. They could step back with complete dignity and make excuses to the stars.
He wondered what those men had eaten that they could be in such haste to force their way to grim chances of death. As he watched his envy grew until he thought that he wished to change lives with one of them. He would have liked to have used a tremendous force, he said, throw off himself and become a better. Swift pictures of himself, apart, yet in himself, came to him—a blue desperate figure leading lurid charges with one knee forward and a broken blade high—a blue, determined figure standing before a crimson and steel assault, getting calmly killed on a high place before the eyes of all. He thought of the magnificent pathos of his dead body.
He wondered what those guys had eaten that made them so eager to rush into dangerous situations that could lead to death. As he watched, his envy grew until he wished he could swap lives with one of them. He imagined using incredible strength to shed his current self and become someone better. Flashing images of himself came to mind—an intense blue figure leading fiery charges with one knee forward and a broken sword raised high—a determined blue figure standing tall against a fierce attack, calmly dying in a prominent place for everyone to see. He thought about the powerful tragedy of his lifeless body.
These thoughts uplifted him. He felt the quiver of war desire. In his ears, he heard the ring of victory. He knew the frenzy of a rapid successful charge. The music of the trampling feet, the sharp voices, the clanking arms of the column near him made him soar on the red wings of war. For a few moments he was sublime.
These thoughts lifted his spirits. He felt the thrill of a warrior's desire. In his ears, he heard the sound of victory. He experienced the rush of a quick, successful charge. The sound of pounding feet, sharp voices, and the clanking weapons of the nearby column made him rise on the fiery wings of battle. For a brief moment, he felt elevated.
He thought that he was about to start for the front. Indeed, he saw a picture of himself, dust-stained, haggard, panting, flying to the front at the proper moment to seize and throttle the dark, leering witch of calamity.
He believed he was about to head to the front lines. In fact, he envisioned himself, covered in dust, exhausted, out of breath, rushing to the front just in time to catch and strangle the dark, sneering witch of disaster.
Then the difficulties of the thing began to drag at him. He hesitated, balancing awkwardly on one foot.
Then the challenges of the situation started to weigh on him. He hesitated, awkwardly balancing on one foot.
He had no rifle; he could not fight with his hands, said he resentfully to his plan. Well, rifles could be had for the picking. They were extraordinarily profuse.
He didn't have a rifle; he couldn't fight with just his hands, he said resentfully about his plan. Well, rifles were easy to find. There were plenty of them around.
Also, he continued, it would be a miracle if he found his regiment. Well, he could fight with any regiment.
Also, he continued, it would be a miracle if he found his regiment. Well, he could fight with any regiment.
He started forward slowly. He stepped as if he expected to tread upon some explosive thing. Doubts and he were struggling.
He moved ahead slowly, stepping as if he expected to walk on something explosive. Doubts were battling within him.
He would truly be a worm if any of his comrades should see him returning thus, the marks of his flight upon him. There was a reply that the intent fighters did not care for what happened rearward saving that no hostile bayonets appeared there. In the battle-blur his face would, in a way, be hidden, like the face of a cowled man.
He would really be pathetic if any of his friends saw him coming back like this, the signs of his escape still visible. There was a response that the determined fighters didn’t worry about what happened behind them, as long as there were no enemy bayonets in sight. In the chaos of battle, his face would, in a way, be obscured, like the face of a man wearing a hood.
But then he said that his tireless fate would bring forth, when the strife lulled for a moment, a man to ask of him an explanation. In imagination he felt the scrutiny of his companions as he painfully labored through some lies.
But then he said that his relentless fate would eventually lead to a moment of calm when someone would ask him for an explanation. He envisioned the judgment of his peers as he struggled to weave together some lies.
Eventually, his courage expended itself upon these objections. The debates drained him of his fire.
Eventually, his courage wore out from these objections. The debates depleted his enthusiasm.
He was not cast down by this defeat of his plan, for, upon studying the affair carefully, he could not but admit that the objections were very formidable.
He wasn't discouraged by the failure of his plan because, after examining the situation closely, he had to acknowledge that the objections were quite serious.
Furthermore, various ailments had begun to cry out. In their presence he could not persist in flying high with the wings of war; they rendered it almost impossible for him to see himself in a heroic light. He tumbled headlong.
Furthermore, different issues had started to make themselves known. In their presence, he could no longer soar high with the wings of war; they made it nearly impossible for him to see himself as a hero. He fell hard.
He discovered that he had a scorching thirst. His face was so dry and grimy that he thought he could feel his skin crackle. Each bone of his body had an ache in it, and seemingly threatened to break with each movement. His feet were like two sores. Also, his body was calling for food. It was more powerful than a direct hunger. There was a dull, weight-like feeling in his stomach, and, when he tried to walk, his head swayed and he tottered. He could not see with distinctness. Small patches of green mist floated before his vision.
He realized that he was extremely thirsty. His face was so dry and dirty that he felt like his skin was cracking. Every bone in his body ached and seemed like it might break with every move. His feet were like two open wounds. Plus, his body was craving food. It was stronger than just being hungry. There was a heavy, dull feeling in his stomach, and when he tried to walk, his head swayed and he stumbled. He couldn’t see clearly. Small patches of green mist hovered in front of his eyes.
While he had been tossed by many emotions, he had not been aware of ailments. Now they beset him and made clamor. As he was at last compelled to pay attention to them, his capacity for self-hate was multiplied. In despair, he declared that he was not like those others. He now conceded it to be impossible that he should ever become a hero. He was a craven loon. Those pictures of glory were piteous things. He groaned from his heart and went staggering off.
While he had been overwhelmed by many emotions, he hadn't noticed his problems. Now they were all around him and making noise. As he finally had to face them, his ability to hate himself grew stronger. In utter despair, he claimed he was not like those others. He now accepted that it was impossible for him to ever be a hero. He was a cowardly fool. Those images of glory felt pathetic. He groaned from deep within and stumbled away.
A certain mothlike quality within him kept him in the vicinity of the battle. He had a great desire to see, and to get news. He wished to know who was winning.
A certain moth-like curiosity inside him kept him close to the fight. He wanted to see and get updates. He was eager to find out who was winning.
He told himself that, despite his unprecedented suffering, he had never lost his greed for a victory, yet, he said, in a half-apologetic manner to his conscience, he could not but know that a defeat for the army this time might mean many favorable things for him. The blows of the enemy would splinter regiments into fragments. Thus, many men of courage, he considered, would be obliged to desert the colors and scurry like chickens. He would appear as one of them. They would be sullen brothers in distress, and he could then easily believe he had not run any farther or faster than they. And if he himself could believe in his virtuous perfection, he conceived that there would be small trouble in convincing all others.
He told himself that, despite his unprecedented suffering, he had never lost his desire for victory. Still, he admitted to his conscience that he couldn’t help but realize that a defeat for the army this time could bring him many advantages. The enemy's attacks would break regiments apart. Many brave men, he thought, would have to abandon their posts and flee like frightened chickens. He would be seen as one of them. They would be sullen brothers in hardship, and he could easily convince himself that he hadn’t run any farther or faster than they had. And if he could believe in his own moral perfection, he figured it wouldn’t be hard to persuade everyone else.
He said, as if in excuse for this hope, that previously the army had encountered great defeats and in a few months had shaken off all blood and tradition of them, emerging as bright and valiant as a new one; thrusting out of sight the memory of disaster, and appearing with the valor and confidence of unconquered legions. The shrilling voices of the people at home would pipe dismally for a time, but various generals were usually compelled to listen to these ditties. He of course felt no compunctions for proposing a general as a sacrifice. He could not tell who the chosen for the barbs might be, so he could center no direct sympathy upon him. The people were afar and he did not conceive public opinion to be accurate at long range. It was quite probable they would hit the wrong man who, after he had recovered from his amazement would perhaps spend the rest of his days in writing replies to the songs of his alleged failure. It would be very unfortunate, no doubt, but in this case a general was of no consequence to the youth.
He said, almost to justify his hope, that the army had faced huge defeats before but had quickly shaken off the blood and memories of those struggles, coming back as fresh and brave as a new force; pushing the memory of disaster out of sight and showing the courage and confidence of undefeated legions. The loud complaints from the people at home would echo sadly for a while, but various generals usually had to listen to those complaints. He certainly didn’t feel guilty about suggesting a general as a scapegoat. He couldn’t know who the chosen one for the blame might be, so he couldn’t feel any direct sympathy for him. The people were far away, and he didn’t think public opinion was accurate from such a distance. It was likely they would target the wrong person who, after getting over his shock, might spend the rest of his life responding to the songs about his supposed failure. It would be very unfortunate, no doubt, but in this case, a general didn’t matter to the youth.
In a defeat there would be a roundabout vindication of himself. He thought it would prove, in a manner, that he had fled early because of his superior powers of perception. A serious prophet upon predicting a flood should be the first man to climb a tree. This would demonstrate that he was indeed a seer.
In a defeat, there would be a roundabout way for him to justify himself. He believed it would show, in a sense, that he had left early because he was more perceptive than others. A true prophet, when predicting a flood, should be the first person to climb a tree. This would prove that he really was a visionary.
A moral vindication was regarded by the youth as a very important thing. Without salve, he could not, he thought, wear the sore badge of his dishonor through life. With his heart continually assuring him that he was despicable, he could not exist without making it, through his actions, apparent to all men.
A moral justification was seen by the young man as something very significant. Without a remedy, he felt he couldn't carry the painful mark of his shame throughout his life. With his heart constantly reminding him that he was worthless, he couldn't live without making it clear to everyone through his actions.
If the army had gone gloriously on he would be lost. If the din meant that now his army’s flags were tilted forward he was a condemned wretch. He would be compelled to doom himself to isolation. If the men were advancing, their indifferent feet were trampling upon his chances for a successful life.
If the army had moved forward triumphantly, he would be doomed. If the noise meant that his army’s flags were now pushed ahead, he was a hopeless outcast. He would have to resign himself to being alone. If the soldiers were advancing, their careless steps were crushing his hopes for a successful life.
As these thoughts went rapidly through his mind, he turned upon them and tried to thrust them away. He denounced himself as a villain. He said that he was the most unutterably selfish man in existence. His mind pictured the soldiers who would place their defiant bodies before the spear of the yelling battle fiend, and as he saw their dripping corpses on an imagined field, he said that he was their murderer.
As these thoughts raced through his mind, he turned against them and tried to push them away. He condemned himself as a villain. He claimed he was the most selfish person alive. He envisioned the soldiers who would bravely stand in front of the spears of the raging battle, and as he imagined their bloodied bodies on a battlefield, he called himself their murderer.
Again he thought that he wished he was dead. He believed that he envied a corpse. Thinking of the slain, he achieved a great contempt for some of them, as if they were guilty for thus becoming lifeless. They might have been killed by lucky chances, he said, before they had had opportunities to flee or before they had been really tested. Yet they would receive laurels from tradition. He cried out bitterly that their crowns were stolen and their robes of glorious memories were shams. However, he still said that it was a great pity he was not as they.
Again he thought about how much he wished he were dead. He felt a strange envy for the lifeless. Reflecting on the fallen, he developed a deep contempt for some of them, as if they were at fault for becoming lifeless. They might have been killed by mere chance, he said, before they had the chance to escape or before they had truly faced challenges. Yet history would still celebrate them. He bitterly exclaimed that their honors were stolen and their tales of glory were false. Still, he lamented that it was a real shame he wasn’t like them.
A defeat of the army had suggested itself to him as a means of escape from the consequences of his fall. He considered, now, however, that it was useless to think of such a possibility. His education had been that success for that mighty blue machine was certain; that it would make victories as a contrivance turns out buttons. He presently discarded all his speculations in the other direction. He returned to the creed of soldiers.
A defeat of the army had seemed to him like a way to escape the consequences of his failure. However, he now felt it was pointless to think about such a possibility. He had learned that success for that powerful blue machine was guaranteed; it would produce victories just like a factory cranks out buttons. He soon pushed aside all his other thoughts. He returned to the beliefs of soldiers.
When he perceived again that it was not possible for the army to be defeated, he tried to bethink him of a fine tale which he could take back to his regiment, and with it turn the expected shafts of derision.
When he realized again that the army couldn't be defeated, he tried to come up with a good story that he could bring back to his regiment, using it to deflect any expected mockery.
But, as he mortally feared these shafts, it became impossible for him to invent a tale he felt he could trust. He experimented with many schemes, but threw them aside one by one as flimsy. He was quick to see vulnerable places in them all.
But, since he was terrified of these criticisms, he found it impossible to come up with a story he could trust. He tried out several ideas, but discarded them one by one as weak. He was quick to spot the flaws in all of them.
Furthermore, he was much afraid that some arrow of scorn might lay him mentally low before he could raise his protecting tale.
Furthermore, he was very afraid that some hurtful comment might knock him down mentally before he could share his story for protection.
He imagined the whole regiment saying: “Where’s Henry Fleming? He run, didn’t ’e? Oh, my!” He recalled various persons who would be quite sure to leave him no peace about it. They would doubtless question him with sneers, and laugh at his stammering hesitation. In the next engagement they would try to keep watch of him to discover when he would run.
He pictured the entire regiment asking, “Where’s Henry Fleming? He ran, didn’t he? Oh my!” He thought of different people who would definitely not let him off the hook about it. They would surely tease him with sneers and mock his stammering hesitation. In the next battle, they would likely keep an eye on him to see when he would take off.
Wherever he went in camp, he would encounter insolent and lingeringly cruel stares. As he imagined himself passing near a crowd of comrades, he could hear one say, “There he goes!”
Wherever he went in camp, he would face rude and lingeringly cruel stares. As he pictured himself walking past a group of friends, he could hear one of them say, “There he goes!”
Then, as if the heads were moved by one muscle, all the faces were turned toward him with wide, derisive grins. He seemed to hear some one make a humorous remark in a low tone. At it the others all crowed and cackled. He was a slang phrase.
Then, as if the heads were moved by one muscle, all the faces turned toward him with wide, mocking grins. He thought he heard someone make a funny comment in a quiet voice. At that, the others all crowed and cackled. He was a slang phrase.
Chapter XII.
The column that had butted stoutly at the obstacles in the roadway was barely out of the youth’s sight before he saw dark waves of men come sweeping out of the woods and down through the fields. He knew at once that the steel fibers had been washed from their hearts. They were bursting from their coats and their equipments as from entanglements. They charged down upon him like terrified buffaloes.
The column that had firmly pushed against the obstacles in the road was barely out of the young man's sight before he saw dark waves of soldiers rushing out of the woods and moving through the fields. He realized immediately that the fear had been stripped away from them. They were bursting out of their uniforms and equipment as if breaking free from restraints. They charged towards him like frightened buffalo.
Behind them blue smoke curled and clouded above the treetops, and through the thickets he could sometimes see a distant pink glare. The voices of the cannon were clamoring in interminable chorus.
Behind them, blue smoke twisted and hung above the treetops, and through the bushes, he could occasionally glimpse a distant pink glow. The sound of the cannons was echoing in an endless chorus.
The youth was horrorstricken. He stared in agony and amazement. He forgot that he was engaged in combating the universe. He threw aside his mental pamphlets on the philosophy of the retreated and rules for the guidance of the damned.
The young man was filled with fear. He stared in pain and disbelief. He forgot that he was in a battle against the universe. He tossed aside his mental notes on the philosophy of retreat and guidelines for the lost.
The fight was lost. The dragons were coming with invincible strides. The army, helpless in the matted thickets and blinded by the overhanging night, was going to be swallowed. War, the red animal, war, the blood-swollen god, would have bloated fill.
The battle was over. The dragons approached with unstoppable power. The army, trapped in the tangled underbrush and lost in the darkness, was about to be consumed. War, a brutal beast, war, a deity drenched in blood, was about to be fully satisfied.
Within him something bade to cry out. He had the impulse to make a rallying speech, to sing a battle hymn, but he could only get his tongue to call into the air: “Why—why—what—what’s th’ matter?”
Within him, something urged him to cry out. He felt the urge to give a rallying speech, to sing a battle song, but all he could manage to say was: “Why—why—what—what's the matter?”
Soon he was in the midst of them. They were leaping and scampering all about him. Their blanched faces shone in the dusk. They seemed, for the most part, to be very burly men. The youth turned from one to another of them as they galloped along. His incoherent questions were lost. They were heedless of his appeals. They did not seem to see him.
Soon he was surrounded by them. They were jumping and running around him. Their pale faces glowed in the fading light. Most of them looked like big, strong men. The young man turned to each of them as they rushed by. His confused questions went unheard. They ignored his pleas. They didn’t seem to notice him.
They sometimes gabbled insanely. One huge man was asking of the sky: “Say, where de plank road? Where de plank road!” It was as if he had lost a child. He wept in his pain and dismay.
They sometimes rambled on crazily. One big guy was shouting at the sky: “Hey, where’s the plank road? Where’s the plank road!” It felt like he had lost a child. He cried out in his sorrow and distress.
Presently, men were running hither and thither in all ways. The artillery booming, forward, rearward, and on the flanks made jumble of ideas of direction. Landmarks had vanished into the gathered gloom. The youth began to imagine that he had got into the center of the tremendous quarrel, and he could perceive no way out of it. From the mouths of the fleeing men came a thousand wild questions, but no one made answers.
Right now, men were running around in every direction. The thundering artillery, firing forward, backward, and to the sides, created total confusion about where to go. Landmarks had disappeared into the thickening darkness. The young man started to feel like he had stumbled into the heart of a massive fight, and he couldn't see any way out. From the fleeing men came a flood of desperate questions, but no one offered any answers.
The youth, after rushing about and throwing interrogations at the heedless bands of retreating infantry, finally clutched a man by the arm. They swung around face to face.
The young man, after running around and firing questions at the oblivious groups of retreating soldiers, finally grabbed a guy by the arm. They turned to face each other.
“Why—why—” stammered the youth struggling with his balking tongue.
“Why—why—” the young man stammered, struggling with his reluctant tongue.
The man screamed: “Let go me! Let go me!” His face was livid and his eyes were rolling uncontrolled. He was heaving and panting. He still grasped his rifle, perhaps having forgotten to release his hold upon it. He tugged frantically, and the youth being compelled to lean forward was dragged several paces.
The man shouted, “Let me go! Let me go!” His face was pale and his eyes were wild. He was gasping for breath. He still clutched his rifle, maybe having forgotten to drop it. He pulled desperately, and the young man, having to lean forward, was pulled several steps.
“Let go me! Let go me!”
“Let me go! Let me go!”
“Why—why—” stuttered the youth.
"Why—why—" stuttered the kid.
“Well, then!” bawled the man in a lurid rage. He adroitly and fiercely swung his rifle. It crushed upon the youth’s head. The man ran on.
“Well, then!” yelled the man in a furious rage. He skillfully and violently swung his rifle. It smashed down on the young man's head. The man ran on.
The youth’s fingers had turned to paste upon the other’s arm. The energy was smitten from his muscles. He saw the flaming wings of lightning flash before his vision. There was a deafening rumble of thunder within his head.
The young man's fingers had gone limp against the other’s arm. The strength was drained from his muscles. He saw the bright wings of lightning flash before his eyes. There was a loud roar of thunder echoing in his head.
Suddenly his legs seemed to die. He sank writhing to the ground. He tried to arise. In his efforts against the numbing pain he was like a man wrestling with a creature of the air.
Suddenly, his legs felt like they were giving out. He collapsed to the ground, struggling. He tried to get back up. In his battle against the numbing pain, he resembled a man fighting with an invisible force.
There was a sinister struggle.
There was a dark struggle.
Sometimes he would achieve a position half erect, battle with the air for a moment, and then fall again, grabbing at the grass. His face was of a clammy pallor. Deep groans were wrenched from him.
Sometimes he would manage to get halfway up, struggle with the air for a moment, and then fall again, grabbing at the grass. His face was pale and damp. Deep groans escaped him.
At last, with a twisting movement, he got upon his hands and knees, and from thence, like a babe trying to walk, to his feet. Pressing his hands to his temples he went lurching over the grass.
At last, with a twisting motion, he got onto his hands and knees, and from there, like a baby learning to walk, he stood up. Pressing his hands to his temples, he staggered over the grass.
He fought an intense battle with his body. His dulled senses wished him to swoon and he opposed them stubbornly, his mind portraying unknown dangers and mutilations if he should fall upon the field. He went tall soldier fashion. He imagined secluded spots where he could fall and be unmolested. To search for one he strove against the tide of pain.
He engaged in a fierce struggle with his body. His numbed senses urged him to faint, but he resisted stubbornly, his mind envisioning unknown threats and injuries if he collapsed on the battlefield. He stood tall like a soldier. He pictured quiet places where he could collapse undisturbed. To find one, he fought against the waves of pain.
Once he put his hand to the top of his head and timidly touched the wound. The scratching pain of the contact made him draw a long breath through his clinched teeth. His fingers were dabbled with blood. He regarded them with a fixed stare.
Once he placed his hand on the top of his head and gently touched the wound. The sharp pain from the contact made him take a deep breath through his clenched teeth. His fingers were smeared with blood. He stared at them intently.
Around him he could hear the grumble of jolted cannon as the scurrying horses were lashed toward the front. Once, a young officer on a besplashed charger nearly ran him down. He turned and watched the mass of guns, men, and horses sweeping in a wide curve toward a gap in a fence. The officer was making excited motions with a gauntleted hand. The guns followed the teams with an air of unwillingness, of being dragged by the heels.
Around him, he could hear the rumble of jolted cannons as the hurried horses were urged toward the front. At one point, a young officer on a splattered horse almost ran him over. He turned and watched the crowd of guns, soldiers, and horses sweeping in a broad curve toward a gap in a fence. The officer was gesturing in excitement with a gloved hand. The cannons followed the teams reluctantly, as if being dragged by their heels.
Some officers of the scattered infantry were cursing and railing like fishwives. Their scolding voices could be heard above the din. Into the unspeakable jumble in the roadway rode a squadron of cavalry. The faded yellow of their facings shone bravely. There was a mighty altercation.
Some of the scattered infantry officers were yelling and cursing like sailors. Their harsh voices could be heard above the noise. A squadron of cavalry rode into the chaotic mess on the road. The faded yellow of their uniforms stood out boldly. There was a huge argument.
The artillery were assembling as if for a conference.
The artillery were gathering as if for a meeting.
The blue haze of evening was upon the field. The lines of forest were long purple shadows. One cloud lay along the western sky partly smothering the red.
The blue haze of evening covered the field. The lines of trees were long purple shadows. One cloud stretched across the western sky, partially hiding the red.
As the youth left the scene behind him, he heard the guns suddenly roar out. He imagined them shaking in black rage. They belched and howled like brass devils guarding a gate. The soft air was filled with the tremendous remonstrance. With it came the shattering peal of opposing infantry. Turning to look behind him, he could see sheets of orange light illumine the shadowy distance. There were subtle and sudden lightnings in the far air. At times he thought he could see heaving masses of men.
As the young man walked away, he suddenly heard the guns roar. He pictured them trembling in furious anger. They shrieked and howled like brass demons guarding a gate. The gentle air was filled with a powerful protest. Along with it came the crashing sounds of opposing troops. Turning to look back, he could see flashes of orange light illuminating the dark distance. There were sudden bursts of lightning in the air far away. At times, he thought he could see swarming groups of soldiers.
He hurried on in the dusk. The day had faded until he could barely distinguish place for his feet. The purple darkness was filled with men who lectured and jabbered. Sometimes he could see them gesticulating against the blue and somber sky. There seemed to be a great ruck of men and munitions spread about in the forest and in the fields.
He rushed on as it got dark. The day had dimmed to the point where he could hardly see where to step. The deepening darkness was full of guys who were talking and shouting. Occasionally, he could spot them making gestures against the blue, gloomy sky. It looked like a whole bunch of people and weapons were scattered throughout the woods and fields.
The little narrow roadway now lay lifeless. There were overturned wagons like sun-dried bowlders. The bed of the former torrent was choked with the bodies of horses and splintered parts of war machines.
The narrow road now lay empty. There were overturned wagons like sun-baked boulders. The former riverbed was cluttered with the bodies of horses and broken pieces of war machines.
It had come to pass that his wound pained him but little. He was afraid to move rapidly, however, for a dread of disturbing it. He held his head very still and took many precautions against stumbling. He was filled with anxiety, and his face was pinched and drawn in anticipation of the pain of any sudden mistake of his feet in the gloom.
His wound bothered him just a bit. Still, he was hesitant to move quickly because he feared it would aggravate the injury. He kept his head very still and took extra care not to trip. Anxiety filled him, and his face looked tense and strained, anticipating the pain that might come from any sudden misstep in the darkness.
His thoughts, as he walked, fixed intently upon his hurt. There was a cool, liquid feeling about it and he imagined blood moving slowly down under his hair. His head seemed swollen to a size that made him think his neck to be inadequate.
His thoughts, as he walked, focused intently on his injury. He felt a cool, liquid sensation there, and he envisioned blood trickling slowly beneath his hair. His head felt swollen to a size that made him think his neck was too weak to support it.
The new silence of his wound made much worriment. The little blistering voices of pain that had called out from his scalp were, he thought, definite in their expression of danger. By them he believed he could measure his plight. But when they remained ominously silent he became frightened and imagined terrible fingers that clutched into his brain.
The new silence of his wound caused him a lot of worry. The small, stinging voices of pain that had come from his scalp seemed clear in their warning. He thought he could gauge his situation through them. But when they fell eerily silent, fear took hold of him, and he imagined horrifying fingers gripping his brain.
Amid it he began to reflect upon various incidents and conditions of the past. He bethought him of certain meals his mother had cooked at home, in which those dishes of which he was particularly fond had occupied prominent positions. He saw the spread table. The pine walls of the kitchen were glowing in the warm light from the stove. Too, he remembered how he and his companions used to go from the school-house to the bank of a shaded pool. He saw his clothes in disorderly array upon the grass of the bank. He felt the swash of the fragrant water upon his body. The leaves of the overhanging maple rustled with melody in the wind of youthful summer.
Amidst it all, he started to think about various events and situations from the past. He remembered some meals his mom had cooked at home, where his favorite dishes were always the main attraction. He envisioned the spread table. The pine walls of the kitchen glowed in the warm light from the stove. He also recalled how he and his friends used to walk from school to the bank of a shady pool. He could see his clothes scattered haphazardly on the grass by the bank. He felt the splash of the fragrant water on his skin. The leaves of the overhanging maple rustled in the breeze of a youthful summer.
He was overcome presently by a dragging weariness. His head hung forward and his shoulders were stooped as if he were bearing a great bundle. His feet shuffled along the ground.
He soon felt an overwhelming exhaustion. His head hung forward and his shoulders slumped as if he were carrying a heavy load. His feet dragged along the ground.
He held continuous arguments as to whether he should lie down and sleep at some near spot, or force himself on until he reached a certain haven. He often tried to dismiss the question, but his body persisted in rebellion and his senses nagged at him like pampered babies.
He kept debating whether he should just lie down and sleep somewhere nearby or push himself until he reached a specific destination. He often tried to shake off the thought, but his body kept protesting and his senses bothered him like spoiled kids.
At last he heard a cheery voice near his shoulder: “Yeh seem t’ be in a pretty bad way, boy?”
At last he heard a cheerful voice near his shoulder: “You seem to be in pretty rough shape, kid?”
The youth did not look up, but he assented with thick tongue. “Uh!”
The young man didn’t look up, but he nodded with a thick tongue. “Uh!”
The owner of the cheery voice took him firmly by the arm. “Well,” he said, with a round laugh, “I’m goin’ your way. Th’ hull gang is goin’ your way. An’ I guess I kin give yeh a lift.” They began to walk like a drunken man and his friend.
The owner of the cheerful voice grabbed him by the arm. “Well,” he said with a big laugh, “I’m heading your way. The whole group is heading your way. I guess I can give you a ride.” They started to walk like a tipsy man and his buddy.
As they went along, the man questioned the youth and assisted him with the replies like one manipulating the mind of a child. Sometimes he interjected anecdotes. “What reg’ment do yeh b’long teh? Eh? What’s that? Th’ 304th N’ York? Why, what corps is that in? Oh, it is? Why, I thought they wasn’t engaged t’-day-they’re ’way over in th’ center. Oh, they was, eh? Well pretty nearly everybody got their share ’a fightin’ t’-day. By dad, I give myself up fer dead any number ’a times. There was shootin’ here an’ shootin’ there, an’ hollerin’ here an’ hollerin’ there, in th’ damn’ darkness, until I couldn’t tell t’ save m’ soul which side I was on. Sometimes I thought I was sure ’nough from Ohier, an’ other times I could ’a swore I was from th’ bitter end of Florida. It was th’ most mixed up dern thing I ever see. An’ these here hull woods is a reg’lar mess. It’ll be a miracle if we find our reg’ments t’-night. Pretty soon, though, we’ll meet a-plenty of guards an’ provost-guards, an’ one thing an’ another. Ho! there they go with an off’cer, I guess. Look at his hand a-draggin’. He’s got all th’ war he wants, I bet. He won’t be talkin’ so big about his reputation an’ all when they go t’ sawin’ off his leg. Poor feller! My brother’s got whiskers jest like that. How did yeh git ’way over here, anyhow? Your reg’ment is a long way from here, ain’t it? Well, I guess we can find it. Yeh know there was a boy killed in my comp’ny t’-day that I thought th’ world an’ all of. Jack was a nice feller. By ginger, it hurt like thunder t’ see ol’ Jack jest git knocked flat. We was a-standin’ purty peaceable fer a spell, ’though there was men runnin’ ev’ry way all ’round us, an’ while we was a-standin’ like that, ’long come a big fat feller. He began t’ peck at Jack’s elbow, an’ he ses: ‘Say, where’s th’ road t’ th’ river?’ An’ Jack, he never paid no attention, an’ th’ feller kept on a-peckin’ at his elbow an’ sayin’: ‘Say, where’s th’ road t’ th’ river?’ Jack was a-lookin’ ahead all th’ time tryin’ t’ see th’ Johnnies comin’ through th’ woods, an’ he never paid no attention t’ this big fat feller fer a long time, but at last he turned ’round an’ he ses: ‘Ah, go t’ hell an’ find th’ road t’ th’ river!’ An’ jest then a shot slapped him bang on th’ side th’ head. He was a sergeant, too. Them was his last words. Thunder, I wish we was sure ’a findin’ our reg’ments t’-night. It’s goin’ t’ be long huntin’. But I guess we kin do it.”
As they walked together, the man asked the young guy questions and helped him answer like he was directing a child’s thoughts. Occasionally, he threw in some stories. “What regiment do you belong to? Huh? What’s that? The 304th New York? Oh, what corps is that? Oh, it is? I thought they weren’t involved today—they’re way over in the center. Oh, they were, huh? Well, pretty much everyone got some fighting in today. Honestly, I felt like I’d gotten myself killed a bunch of times. There was shooting here and shooting there, and yelling here and yelling there, in the damn darkness, until I couldn’t figure out to save my soul which side I was on. Sometimes I really thought I was from Ohio, and other times I could have sworn I was from the far end of Florida. It was the most jumbled up thing I ever saw. And these woods here are a complete mess. It’ll be a miracle if we find our regiments tonight. But soon enough, we’ll run into plenty of guards and provost-guards, and all kinds of others. Hey! There they go with an officer, I guess. Look at his hand dragging. He’s had all the war he can handle, I bet. He won’t be bragging about his reputation when they start to saw off his leg. Poor guy! My brother has a beard just like that. How did you end up way over here, anyway? Your regiment is a long way from here, isn’t it? Well, I guess we can track them down. You know, there was a guy killed in my company today that I thought the world of. Jack was a great guy. It hurt like hell to see old Jack just get knocked flat. We were standing pretty peacefully for a while, even though there were men running every which way around us, and while we were standing there, along came a big, fat guy. He started tapping Jack’s elbow and said, ‘Hey, where’s the road to the river?’ And Jack didn’t pay any attention, and the guy kept on tapping his elbow and saying, ‘Hey, where’s the road to the river?’ Jack was focused straight ahead trying to see the enemy coming through the woods, and he ignored this big fat guy for a long time, but finally he turned around and said, ‘Ah, go to hell and find the road to the river!’ Just then a shot hit him square on the side of the head. He was a sergeant too. Those were his last words. Damn, I hope we can find our regiments tonight. It’s going to be a long search. But I think we can do it.”
In the search which followed, the man of the cheery voice seemed to the youth to possess a wand of a magic kind. He threaded the mazes of the tangled forest with a strange fortune. In encounters with guards and patrols he displayed the keenness of a detective and the valor of a gamin. Obstacles fell before him and became of assistance. The youth, with his chin still on his breast, stood woodenly by while his companion beat ways and means out of sullen things.
In the search that followed, the man with the cheerful voice seemed to the young man to have a kind of magic wand. He navigated the twists and turns of the tangled forest with an unusual luck. In his interactions with guards and patrols, he showed the sharpness of a detective and the courage of a street kid. Obstacles fell away before him and turned into opportunities. The young man, with his head still down, stood stiffly by while his companion figured out how to handle the tough situations.
The forest seemed a vast hive of men buzzing about in frantic circles, but the cheery man conducted the youth without mistakes, until at last he began to chuckle with glee and self-satisfaction. “Ah, there yeh are! See that fire?”
The forest felt like a huge hive of people buzzing around in chaotic circles, but the cheerful man led the young guy without any errors, until he finally started to laugh with joy and pride. “Ah, there you are! Do you see that fire?”
The youth nodded stupidly.
The kid nodded blankly.
“Well, there’s where your reg’ment is. An’ now, good-by, ol’ boy, good luck t’ yeh.”
“Well, that’s where your regiment is. And now, goodbye, old friend, good luck to you.”
A warm and strong hand clasped the youth’s languid fingers for an instant, and then he heard a cheerful and audacious whistling as the man strode away. As he who had so befriended him was thus passing out of his life, it suddenly occurred to the youth that he had not once seen his face.
A warm and firm hand grasped the young man's relaxed fingers for a moment, and then he heard a cheerful and bold whistling as the man walked away. As the person who had so befriended him was leaving his life, it suddenly struck the young man that he had never seen his face.
Chapter XIII.
The youth went slowly toward the fire indicated by his departed friend. As he reeled, he bethought him of the welcome his comrades would give him. He had a conviction that he would soon feel in his sore heart the barbed missiles of ridicule. He had no strength to invent a tale; he would be a soft target.
The young man walked slowly toward the fire pointed out by his late friend. As he stumbled, he thought about how his buddies would react to him. He was convinced he would soon feel the sharp sting of their mockery in his wounded heart. He had no strength to come up with a story; he would be an easy target.
He made vague plans to go off into the deeper darkness and hide, but they were all destroyed by the voices of exhaustion and pain from his body. His ailments, clamoring, forced him to seek the place of food and rest, at whatever cost.
He made unclear plans to escape into the deeper darkness and hide, but they were all shattered by the sounds of exhaustion and pain from his body. His ailments, demanding attention, drove him to seek a place for food and rest, no matter the cost.
He swung unsteadily toward the fire. He could see the forms of men throwing black shadows in the red light, and as he went nearer it became known to him in some way that the ground was strewn with sleeping men.
He walked unsteadily toward the fire. He could see the silhouettes of men casting dark shadows in the red light, and as he got closer, he realized in some way that the ground was covered with sleeping men.
Of a sudden he confronted a black and monstrous figure. A rifle barrel caught some glinting beams. “Halt! halt!” He was dismayed for a moment, but he presently thought that he recognized the nervous voice. As he stood tottering before the rifle barrel, he called out: “Why, hello, Wilson, you—you here?”
Of a sudden, he faced a huge, shadowy figure. A rifle barrel reflected a few glimmering beams. “Stop! Stop!” For a moment, he was taken aback, but then he thought he recognized the shaky voice. As he stood there, swaying in front of the rifle barrel, he shouted, “Oh, hey, Wilson, you—you here?”
The rifle was lowered to a position of caution and the loud soldier came slowly forward. He peered into the youth’s face. “That you, Henry?”
The rifle was lowered cautiously, and the loud soldier moved slowly toward him. He looked into the young man's face. “Is that you, Henry?”
“Yes, it’s—it’s me.”
“Yes, it’s me.”
“Well, well, ol’ boy,” said the other, “by ginger, I’m glad t’ see yeh! I give yeh up fer a goner. I thought yeh was dead sure enough.” There was husky emotion in his voice.
“Well, well, old buddy,” said the other, “Wow, I’m happy to see you! I thought you were a goner. I really thought you were dead.” There was a rough emotion in his voice.
The youth found that now he could barely stand upon his feet. There was a sudden sinking of his forces. He thought he must hasten to produce his tale to protect him from the missiles already on the lips of his redoubtable comrades. So, staggering before the loud soldier, he began: “Yes, yes. I’ve—I’ve had an awful time. I’ve been all over. Way over on th’ right. Ter’ble fightin’ over there. I had an awful time. I got separated from the reg’ment. Over on th’ right, I got shot. In th’ head. I never see sech fightin’. Awful time. I don’t see how I could a’ got separated from th’ reg’ment. I got shot, too.”
The young man realized that he could barely stand. He suddenly felt his strength fading. He thought he needed to hurry and share his story to defend himself from the harsh words already forming on the lips of his tough comrades. So, stumbling in front of the loud soldier, he started: “Yeah, yeah. I’ve—I’ve had a terrible time. I’ve been everywhere. Way over on the right. There was intense fighting over there. I really struggled. I got separated from my regiment. Over on the right, I got shot. In the head. I've never seen fighting like that. It was awful. I don’t know how I got separated from the regiment. I got shot, too.”
His friend had stepped forward quickly. “What? Got shot? Why didn’t yeh say so first? Poor ol’ boy, we must—hol’ on a minnit; what am I doin’. I’ll call Simpson.”
His friend had stepped forward quickly. “What? You got shot? Why didn’t you say that first? Poor guy, we must—hold on a minute; what am I doing? I’ll call Simpson.”
Another figure at that moment loomed in the gloom. They could see that it was the corporal. “Who yeh talkin’ to, Wilson?” he demanded. His voice was anger-toned. “Who yeh talkin’ to? Yeh th’ derndest sentinel—why—hello, Henry, you here? Why, I thought you was dead four hours ago! Great Jerusalem, they keep turnin’ up every ten minutes or so! We thought we’d lost forty-two men by straight count, but if they keep on a-comin’ this way, we’ll git th’ comp’ny all back by mornin’ yit. Where was yeh?”
Another figure appeared in the shadows. They could see it was the corporal. “Who are you talking to, Wilson?” he demanded, his voice filled with anger. “Who are you talking to? You’re the worst sentinel—wait—hello, Henry, is that you? I thought you were dead four hours ago! Good grief, they keep showing up every ten minutes! We thought we’d lost forty-two men for sure, but if they keep coming back like this, we’ll have the whole company back by morning. Where have you been?”
“Over on th’ right. I got separated”—began the youth with considerable glibness.
“Over on the right. I got separated”—began the young man with a fair amount of smoothness.
But his friend had interrupted hastily. “Yes, an’ he got shot in th’ head an’ he’s in a fix, an’ we must see t’ him right away.” He rested his rifle in the hollow of his left arm and his right around the youth’s shoulder.
But his friend had jumped in quickly. “Yeah, and he got shot in the head and he’s in trouble, and we need to help him right away.” He rested his rifle in the crook of his left arm and put his right arm around the young man's shoulder.
“Gee, it must hurt like thunder!” he said.
“Wow, that must really hurt!” he said.
The youth leaned heavily upon his friend. “Yes, it hurts—hurts a good deal,” he replied. There was a faltering in his voice.
The young man leaned heavily on his friend. “Yeah, it hurts—it really hurts,” he replied. There was a waver in his voice.
“Oh,” said the corporal. He linked his arm in the youth’s and drew him forward. “Come on, Henry. I’ll take keer ’a yeh.”
“Oh,” said the corporal. He linked his arm with the young man's and pulled him forward. “Come on, Henry. I’ll take care of you.”
As they went on together the loud private called out after them: “Put ’im t’ sleep in my blanket, Simpson. An’—hol’ on a minnit—here’s my canteen. It’s full ’a coffee. Look at his head by th’ fire an’ see how it looks. Maybe it’s a pretty bad un. When I git relieved in a couple ’a minnits, I’ll be over an’ see t’ him.”
As they walked together, the loud private shouted after them: “Put him to sleep in my blanket, Simpson. And—hold on a minute—here’s my canteen. It’s full of coffee. Check out his head by the fire and see how it looks. It might be pretty bad. When I get relieved in a couple of minutes, I’ll come over and check on him.”
The youth’s senses were so deadened that his friend’s voice sounded from afar and he could scarcely feel the pressure of the corporal’s arm. He submitted passively to the latter’s directing strength. His head was in the old manner hanging forward upon his breast. His knees wobbled.
The young man's senses were so dulled that his friend's voice seemed distant, and he could barely feel the weight of the corporal's arm. He passively accepted the corporal's guiding force. His head hung forward on his chest as it used to. His knees felt unsteady.
The corporal led him into the glare of the fire. “Now, Henry,” he said, “let’s have look at yer ol’ head.”
The corporal brought him into the bright light of the fire. “Now, Henry,” he said, “let's take a look at your old head.”
The youth sat obediently and the corporal, laying aside his rifle, began to fumble in the bushy hair of his comrade. He was obliged to turn the other’s head so that the full flush of the fire light would beam upon it. He puckered his mouth with a critical air. He drew back his lips and whistled through his teeth when his fingers came in contact with the splashed blood and the rare wound.
The young man sat patiently, and the corporal, setting aside his rifle, started to dig through his comrade's thick hair. He had to turn his friend's head so that the light from the fire would shine directly on it. He made a critical face, pulling back his lips and whistling through his teeth when his fingers touched the splattered blood and the unusual wound.
“Ah, here we are!” he said. He awkwardly made further investigations. “Jest as I thought,” he added, presently. “Yeh’ve been grazed by a ball. It’s raised a queer lump jest as if some feller had lammed yeh on th’ head with a club. It stopped a-bleedin’ long time ago. Th’ most about it is that in th’ mornin’ yeh’ll fell that a number ten hat wouldn’t fit yeh. An’ your head’ll be all het up an’ feel as dry as burnt pork. An’ yeh may git a lot ’a other sicknesses, too, by mornin’. Yeh can’t never tell. Still, I don’t much think so. It’s jest a damn’ good belt on th’ head, an’ nothin’ more. Now, you jest sit here an’ don’t move, while I go rout out th’ relief. Then I’ll send Wilson t’ take keer ’a yeh.”
“Ah, here we are!” he said. He awkwardly looked around some more. “Just as I thought,” he added after a moment. “You’ve been hit by a ball. It’s created a strange bump just like some guy whacked you on the head with a club. It stopped bleeding a long time ago. The main thing is that in the morning, you’ll feel like a size ten hat wouldn’t fit. And your head will be all hot and feel as dry as burnt pork. And you might get a bunch of other issues too by morning. You can never tell. Still, I don’t really think so. It’s just a good whack on the head, and nothing more. Now, you just sit here and don’t move, while I go find some help. Then I’ll send Wilson to take care of you.”
The corporal went away. The youth remained on the ground like a parcel. He stared with a vacant look into the fire.
The corporal left. The young man stayed on the ground like a bundle. He stared blankly into the fire.
After a time he aroused, for some part, and the things about him began to take form. He saw that the ground in the deep shadows was cluttered with men, sprawling in every conceivable posture. Glancing narrowly into the more distant darkness, he caught occasional glimpses of visages that loomed pallid and ghostly, lit with a phosphorescent glow. These faces expressed in their lines the deep stupor of the tired soldiers. They made them appear like men drunk with wine. This bit of forest might have appeared to an ethereal wanderer as a scene of the result of some frightful debauch.
After a while, he woke up a bit, and things around him started to come into focus. He noticed that the ground in the deep shadows was filled with men, sprawled out in every possible position. Looking closely into the more distant darkness, he caught occasional glimpses of faces that appeared pale and ghostly, illuminated by a phosphorescent glow. These faces showed the deep exhaustion of the weary soldiers, making them look like they were drunk. To an ethereal traveler, this patch of forest might have seemed like the aftermath of some horrific binge.
On the other side of the fire the youth observed an officer asleep, seated bolt upright, with his back against a tree. There was something perilous in his position. Badgered by dreams, perhaps, he swayed with little bounces and starts, like an old, toddy-stricken grandfather in a chimney corner. Dust and stains were upon his face. His lower jaw hung down as if lacking strength to assume its normal position. He was the picture of an exhausted soldier after a feast of war.
On the other side of the fire, the young man noticed an officer asleep, sitting straight up against a tree. There was something dangerous about how he was positioned. Possibly troubled by dreams, he swayed slightly, twitching like an old, tipsy grandfather in a cozy corner. Dust and dirt were on his face. His lower jaw hung down as if it didn’t have the strength to hold itself up. He looked like a worn-out soldier after a feast of battle.
He had evidently gone to sleep with his sword in his arms. These two had slumbered in an embrace, but the weapon had been allowed in time to fall unheeded to the ground. The brass-mounted hilt lay in contact with some parts of the fire.
He clearly fell asleep with his sword in his arms. The two had dozed off while holding each other, but the weapon had eventually slipped from their grasp and fallen to the ground. The brass-mounted hilt was touching some parts of the fire.
Within the gleam of rose and orange light from the burning sticks were other soldiers, snoring and heaving, or lying deathlike in slumber. A few pairs of legs were stuck forth, rigid and straight. The shoes displayed the mud or dust of marches and bits of rounded trousers, protruding from the blankets, showed rents and tears from hurried pitchings through the dense brambles.
Within the glow of pink and orange light from the burning sticks were other soldiers, snoring and tossing, or lying motionless in sleep. A few pairs of legs stretched out, stiff and straight. The shoes showed the mud or dust of long marches, and bits of frayed trousers poking out from the blankets revealed rips and tears from quick setups through the thick brambles.
The fire cackled musically. From it swelled light smoke. Overhead the foliage moved softly. The leaves, with their faces turned toward the blaze, were colored shifting hues of silver, often edged with red. Far off to the right, through a window in the forest could be seen a handful of stars lying, like glittering pebbles, on the black level of the night.
The fire crackled rhythmically. Light smoke rose from it. Above, the leaves moved gently. The leaves, turned toward the flames, shimmered in shifting shades of silver, often highlighted with red. Off to the right, a small gap in the trees revealed a few stars scattered across the dark night sky, like sparkling stones.
Occasionally, in this low-arched hall, a soldier would arouse and turn his body to a new position, the experience of his sleep having taught him of uneven and objectionable places upon the ground under him. Or, perhaps, he would lift himself to a sitting posture, blink at the fire for an unintelligent moment, throw a swift glance at his prostrate companion, and then cuddle down again with a grunt of sleepy content.
Sometimes, in this low-ceilinged hall, a soldier would stir and shift his body to a different position, having learned from his sleep about the uncomfortable spots on the ground beneath him. Or, he might sit up, blink at the fire for a moment in confusion, quickly glance at his lying companion, and then settle back down again with a satisfied grunt of sleepiness.
The youth sat in a forlorn heap until his friend the loud young soldier came, swinging two canteens by their light strings. “Well, now, Henry, ol’ boy,” said the latter, “we’ll have yeh fixed up in jest about a minnit.”
The young man sat in a sad pile until his friend, the boisterous young soldier, showed up, swinging two canteens by their light straps. “Well, now, Henry, old buddy,” the soldier said, “we’ll get you sorted out in just a minute.”
He had the bustling ways of an amateur nurse. He fussed around the fire and stirred the sticks to brilliant exertions. He made his patient drink largely from the canteen that contained the coffee. It was to the youth a delicious draught. He tilted his head afar back and held the canteen long to his lips. The cool mixture went caressingly down his blistered throat. Having finished, he sighed with comfortable delight.
He moved like an eager volunteer nurse. He busied himself by the fire, stirring the sticks energetically. He encouraged his patient to drink generously from the canteen filled with coffee. It was a delightful drink for the young man. He leaned his head back and held the canteen to his lips for a long sip. The cool liquid slid down his sore throat soothingly. When he was done, he let out a contented sigh.
The loud young soldier watched his comrade with an air of satisfaction. He later produced an extensive handkerchief from his pocket. He folded it into a manner of bandage and soused water from the other canteen upon the middle of it. This crude arrangement he bound over the youth’s head, tying the ends in a queer knot at the back of the neck.
The boisterous young soldier observed his friend with a sense of contentment. He then pulled out a large handkerchief from his pocket. He folded it like a bandage and soaked it with water from the other canteen in the center. He secured this makeshift bandage over the young man’s head, tying the ends in a strange knot at the back of the neck.
“There,” he said, moving off and surveying his deed, “yeh look like th’ devil, but I bet yeh feel better.”
“There,” he said, stepping back and looking at what he had done, “you look like the devil, but I bet you feel better.”
The youth contemplated his friend with grateful eyes. Upon his aching and swelling head the cold cloth was like a tender woman’s hand.
The young man looked at his friend with thankful eyes. The cold cloth on his throbbing and swollen head felt like a gentle woman's touch.
“Yeh don’t holler ner say nothin’,” remarked his friend approvingly. “I know I’m a blacksmith at takin’ keer ’a sick folks, an’ yeh never squeaked. Yer a good un, Henry. Most ’a men would a’ been in th’ hospital long ago. A shot in th’ head ain’t foolin’ business.”
“Don’t yell or say anything,” his friend commented with approval. “I know I’m great at taking care of sick people, and you never complained. You’re a good guy, Henry. Most men would have been in the hospital long ago. A gunshot wound to the head isn’t a joking matter.”
The youth made no reply, but began to fumble with the buttons of his jacket.
The young man didn't respond but started to mess with the buttons on his jacket.
“Well, come, now,” continued his friend, “come on. I must put yeh t’ bed an’ see that yeh git a good night’s rest.”
“Well, come on now,” his friend continued, “let’s get you to bed and make sure you get a good night’s sleep.”
The other got carefully erect, and the loud young soldier led him among the sleeping forms lying in groups and rows. Presently he stooped and picked up his blankets. He spread the rubber one upon the ground and placed the woolen one about the youth’s shoulders.
The other stood up carefully, and the loud young soldier guided him through the sleeping bodies lying in clusters and lines. Soon, he bent down and grabbed his blankets. He laid the rubber one on the ground and draped the woolen one over the young man's shoulders.
“There now,” he said, “lie down an’ git some sleep.”
“There now,” he said, “lie down and get some sleep.”
The youth, with his manner of doglike obedience, got carefully down like a crone stooping. He stretched out with a murmur of relief and comfort. The ground felt like the softest couch.
The young man, showing a kind of obedient servitude, lowered himself carefully like an old woman bending down. He relaxed with a sigh of relief and comfort. The ground felt like the coziest couch.
But of a sudden he ejaculated: “Hol’ on a minnit! Where you goin’ t’ sleep?”
But suddenly he exclaimed, “Wait a minute! Where are you going to sleep?”
His friend waved his hand impatiently. “Right down there by yeh.”
His friend waved his hand impatiently. “Right down there by you.”
“Well, but hol’ on a minnit,” continued the youth. “What yeh goin’ t’ sleep in? I’ve got your—”
“Well, hold on a minute,” continued the young man. “What are you going to sleep in? I’ve got your—”
The loud young soldier snarled: “Shet up an’ go on t’ sleep. Don’t be makin’ a damn’ fool ’a yerself,” he said severely.
The loud young soldier snapped, “Shut up and go to sleep. Don’t make a damn fool of yourself,” he said sternly.
After the reproof the youth said no more. An exquisite drowsiness had spread through him. The warm comfort of the blanket enveloped him and made a gentle langour. His head fell forward on his crooked arm and his weighted lids went softly down over his eyes. Hearing a splatter of musketry from the distance, he wondered indifferently if those men sometimes slept. He gave a long sigh, snuggled down into his blanket, and in a moment was like his comrades.
After the scolding, the young man didn’t say anything more. A deep drowsiness washed over him. The warm comfort of the blanket wrapped around him and created a gentle laziness. His head dropped forward onto his bent arm, and his heavy eyelids softly closed over his eyes. Hearing the distant sound of gunfire, he indifferently wondered if those men ever slept. He let out a long sigh, settled deeper into his blanket, and in no time was just like his comrades.
Chapter XIV.
When the youth awoke it seemed to him that he had been asleep for a thousand years, and he felt sure that he opened his eyes upon an unexpected world. Gray mists were slowly shifting before the first efforts of the sun rays. An impending splendor could be seen in the eastern sky. An icy dew had chilled his face, and immediately upon arousing he curled farther down into his blanket. He stared for a while at the leaves overhead, moving in a heraldic wind of the day.
When the young man woke up, it felt like he had been asleep for a thousand years, and he was certain he was opening his eyes to a completely new world. Gray mists were slowly drifting in front of the first rays of sunlight. A coming brilliance was visible in the eastern sky. A cold dew had chilled his face, and as soon as he woke up, he tucked himself deeper into his blanket. He stared for a while at the leaves above him, swaying in the morning breeze.
The distance was splintering and blaring with the noise of fighting. There was in the sound an expression of a deadly persistency, as if it had not began and was not to cease.
The distance was cracking and filled with the loud sounds of battle. In the noise was a sense of relentless danger, as if it had never started and would never end.
About him were the rows and groups of men that he had dimly seen the previous night. They were getting a last draught of sleep before the awakening. The gaunt, careworn features and dusty figures were made plain by this quaint light at the dawning, but it dressed the skin of the men in corpse-like hues and made the tangled limbs appear pulseless and dead. The youth started up with a little cry when his eyes first swept over this motionless mass of men, thick-spread upon the ground, pallid, and in strange postures. His disordered mind interpreted the hall of the forest as a charnel place. He believed for an instant that he was in the house of the dead, and he did not dare to move lest these corpses start up, squalling and squawking. In a second, however, he achieved his proper mind. He swore a complicated oath at himself. He saw that this somber picture was not a fact of the present, but a mere prophecy.
Around him were the rows and groups of men he had faintly seen the night before. They were catching a last bit of sleep before waking up. The gaunt, worn faces and dusty figures were illuminated by the strange light of dawn, but it gave the men's skin a corpse-like color and made their tangled limbs look lifeless and dead. The youth jumped up with a small cry when his gaze first took in this still mass of men, sprawled on the ground, pale and in odd positions. His chaotic thoughts made him see the forest as a graveyard. For a moment, he thought he was in a place of the dead and was too afraid to move, worried that these corpses would suddenly come to life, screaming and flailing. But in an instant, he cleared his mind. He muttered a complicated curse at himself. He realized that this grim scene was not a reality of the moment but merely a potential future.
He heard then the noise of a fire crackling briskly in the cold air, and, turning his head, he saw his friend pottering busily about a small blaze. A few other figures moved in the fog, and he heard the hard cracking of axe blows.
He then heard the sound of a fire crackling lively in the cold air, and, turning his head, he saw his friend busily tending to a small blaze. A few other figures moved in the fog, and he heard the sharp cracking of axe blows.
Suddenly there was a hollow rumble of drums. A distant bugle sang faintly. Similar sounds, varying in strength, came from near and far over the forest. The bugles called to each other like brazen gamecocks. The near thunder of the regimental drums rolled.
Suddenly, a deep thud of drums echoed. A distant bugle played softly. Similar sounds, changing in intensity, came from all around the forest. The bugles answered each other like bold roosters. The nearby roar of the regimental drums rolled on.
The body of men in the woods rustled. There was a general uplifting of heads. A murmuring of voices broke upon the air. In it there was much bass of grumbling oaths. Strange gods were addressed in condemnation of the early hours necessary to correct war. An officer’s peremptory tenor rang out and quickened the stiffened movement of the men. The tangled limbs unraveled. The corpse-hued faces were hidden behind fists that twisted slowly in the eye sockets.
The group of men in the woods stirred. Heads raised all around. A low buzz of voices filled the air, layered with deep, grumbling curses. They called out to strange gods, criticizing the early hours needed to fix the mess of war. An officer's commanding voice cut through and urged the stiff men to move. The tangled limbs straightened out. The pale faces were concealed behind fists that slowly twisted in their eye sockets.
The youth sat up and gave vent to an enormous yawn. “Thunder!” he remarked petulantly. He rubbed his eyes, and then putting up his hand felt carefully the bandage over his wound. His friend, perceiving him to be awake, came from the fire. “Well, Henry, ol’ man, how do yeh feel this mornin’?” he demanded.
The young man sat up and let out a huge yawn. “Thunder!” he said irritably. He rubbed his eyes, and then raised his hand to gently touch the bandage over his injury. His friend, noticing he was awake, came over from the fire. “Well, Henry, old man, how are you feeling this morning?” he asked.
The youth yawned again. Then he puckered his mouth to a little pucker. His head, in truth, felt precisely like a melon, and there was an unpleasant sensation at his stomach.
The young man yawned again. Then he made a small pucker with his lips. Honestly, his head felt just like a melon, and he had a queasy feeling in his stomach.
“Oh, Lord, I feel pretty bad,” he said.
“Oh man, I feel really bad,” he said.
“Thunder!” exclaimed the other. “I hoped ye’d feel all right this mornin’. Let’s see th’ bandage—I guess it’s slipped.” He began to tinker at the wound in rather a clumsy way until the youth exploded.
“Thunder!” the other exclaimed. “I was hoping you’d feel okay this morning. Let’s check the bandage—I think it’s come loose.” He started to mess with the wound clumsily until the young man lost it.
“Gosh-dern it!” he said in sharp irritation; “you’re the hangdest man I ever saw! You wear muffs on your hands. Why in good thunderation can’t you be more easy? I’d rather you’d stand off an’ throw guns at it. Now, go slow, an’ don’t act as if you was nailing down carpet.”
“Darn it!” he said, clearly irritated; “you’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever seen! You’ve got mittens on your hands. Why in the world can’t you be more relaxed? I’d rather you stand back and throw guns at it. Now, take it easy and don’t act like you’re nailing down a carpet.”
He glared with insolent command at his friend, but the latter answered soothingly. “Well, well, come now, an’ git some grub,” he said. “Then, maybe, yeh’ll feel better.”
He shot an arrogant look at his friend, but the other responded calmly. “Alright, come on, and get some food,” he said. “Then, maybe, you'll feel better.”
At the fireside the loud young soldier watched over his comrade’s wants with tenderness and care. He was very busy marshaling the little black vagabonds of tin cups and pouring into them the streaming iron colored mixture from a small and sooty tin pail. He had some fresh meat, which he roasted hurriedly on a stick. He sat down then and contemplated the youth’s appetite with glee.
At the fireside, the loud young soldier looked after his friend's needs with kindness and attention. He was busy organizing the little black tin cups and filling them with the steaming, iron-colored mixture from a small, dirty tin pail. He had some fresh meat that he quickly roasted on a stick. Then he sat down and watched the young man's appetite with delight.
The youth took note of a remarkable change in his comrade since those days of camp life upon the river bank. He seemed no more to be continually regarding the proportions of his personal prowess. He was not furious at small words that pricked his conceits. He was no more a loud young soldier. There was about him now a fine reliance. He showed a quiet belief in his purposes and his abilities. And this inward confidence evidently enabled him to be indifferent to little words of other men aimed at him.
The young man noticed a significant change in his friend since their days camping by the river. He no longer seemed to focus on showing off his personal strength. He wasn't angry about little comments that used to sting his pride. He wasn't the boisterous young soldier he used to be. Now, he had a calm confidence about him. He demonstrated a quiet belief in his goals and his skills. This inner confidence clearly allowed him to brush off the small remarks from others directed at him.
The youth reflected. He had been used to regarding his comrade as a blatant child with an audacity grown from his inexperience, thoughtless, headstrong, jealous, and filled with a tinsel courage. A swaggering babe accustomed to strut in his own dooryard. The youth wondered where had been born these new eyes; when his comrade had made the great discovery that there were many men who would refuse to be subjected by him. Apparently, the other had now climbed a peak of wisdom from which he could perceive himself as a very wee thing. And the youth saw that ever after it would be easier to live in his friend’s neighborhood.
The young man thought about it. He had always seen his friend as a loudmouthed kid, full of confidence from his lack of experience—thoughtless, impulsive, jealous, and brimming with superficial bravery. A cocky kid who strutted around his own yard. The young man wondered where these new insights had come from; when his friend had realized that there were many people who wouldn’t let him boss them around. It seemed like the other guy had now reached a level of understanding from which he could see himself as just a small part of the bigger picture. And the young man realized that it would be much easier to live in his friend’s neighborhood from now on.
His comrade balanced his ebony coffee-cup on his knee. “Well, Henry,” he said, “what d’yeh think th’ chances are? D’yeh think we’ll wallop ’em?”
His friend balanced his black coffee cup on his knee. “Well, Henry,” he said, “what do you think the chances are? Do you think we’ll beat them?”
The youth considered for a moment. “Day-b’fore-yesterday,” he finally replied, with boldness, “you would ’a’ bet you’d lick the hull kit-an’-boodle all by yourself.”
The young man thought for a moment. “The day before yesterday,” he finally said confidently, “you would have bet you could take on the whole kit and caboodle all by yourself.”
His friend looked a trifle amazed. “Would I?” he asked. He pondered. “Well, perhaps I would,” he decided at last. He stared humbly at the fire.
His friend looked a bit surprised. “Would I?” he asked. He thought about it. “Well, maybe I would,” he finally decided. He gazed humbly at the fire.
The youth was quite disconcerted at this surprising reception of his remarks. “Oh, no, you wouldn’t either,” he said, hastily trying to retrace.
The young man was pretty taken aback by this unexpected response to his comments. “Oh, no, you wouldn’t either,” he said, quickly trying to backtrack.
But the other made a deprecating gesture. “Oh, yeh needn’t mind, Henry,” he said. “I believe I was a pretty big fool in those days.” He spoke as after a lapse of years.
But the other waved it off. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about it, Henry,” he said. “I think I was a pretty big fool back then.” He spoke as if many years had passed.
There was a little pause.
There was a brief pause.
“All th’ officers say we’ve got th’ rebs in a pretty tight box,” said the friend, clearing his throat in a commonplace way. “They all seem t’ think we’ve got ’em jest where we want ’em.”
“All the officers say we’ve got the rebels in a pretty tight spot,” said the friend, clearing his throat casually. “They all seem to think we’ve got them just where we want them.”
“I don’t know about that,” the youth replied. “What I seen over on th’ right makes me think it was th’ other way about. From where I was, it looked as if we was gettin’ a good poundin’ yestirday.”
“I don’t know about that,” the young man replied. “What I saw over on the right makes me think it was the other way around. From where I was, it looked like we were taking a good beating yesterday.”
“D’yeh think so?” inquired the friend. “I thought we handled ’em pretty rough yestirday.”
“Do you think so?” asked the friend. “I thought we dealt with them pretty harshly yesterday.”
“Not a bit,” said the youth. “Why, lord, man, you didn’t see nothing of the fight. Why!” Then a sudden thought came to him. “Oh! Jim Conklin’s dead.”
“Not at all,” said the young man. “You didn’t see any of the fight. Really!” Then a sudden realization hit him. “Oh! Jim Conklin’s dead.”
His friend started. “What? Is he? Jim Conklin?”
His friend reacted. “What? Is he? Jim Conklin?”
The youth spoke slowly. “Yes. He’s dead. Shot in th’ side.”
The young man spoke slowly. “Yeah. He’s dead. Shot in the side.”
“Yeh don’t say so. Jim Conklin. . .poor cuss!”
“Yeah, you don’t say. Jim Conklin...that poor guy!”
All about them were other small fires surrounded by men with their little black utensils. From one of these near came sudden sharp voices in a row. It appeared that two light-footed soldiers had been teasing a huge, bearded man, causing him to spill coffee upon his blue knees. The man had gone into a rage and had sworn comprehensively. Stung by his language, his tormentors had immediately bristled at him with a great show of resenting unjust oaths. Possibly there was going to be a fight.
All around them were small fires with men gathered around their little black pots. From one of these, sharp voices suddenly rose in a bunch. It seemed that two quick-moving soldiers had been teasing a big, bearded man, making him spill coffee all over his blue knees. The man had erupted in anger and cursed fiercely. Offended by his words, his tormentors immediately put on a show of being outraged by his unfair swearing. It looked like a fight was about to break out.
The friend arose and went over to them, making pacific motions with his arms. “Oh, here, now, boys, what’s th’ use?” he said. “We’ll be at th’ rebs in less’n an hour. What’s th’ good fightin’ ’mong ourselves?”
The friend stood up and walked over to them, waving his arms in a calming way. “Oh, come on, guys, what’s the point?” he said. “We’ll be facing the rebels in less than an hour. What’s the benefit of fighting each other?”
One of the light-footed soldiers turned upon him red-faced and violent. “Yeh needn’t come around here with yer preachin’. I s’pose yeh don’t approve ’a fightin’ since Charley Morgan licked yeh; but I don’t see what business this here is ’a yours or anybody else.”
One of the agile soldiers turned to him, his face flushed with anger. “You don’t need to come around here with your preaching. I guess you don't approve of fighting since Charley Morgan beat you; but I don’t see what this has to do with you or anyone else.”
“Well, it ain’t,” said the friend mildly. “Still I hate t’ see—”
“Well, it isn't,” said the friend gently. “Still, I hate to see—”
There was a tangled argument.
It was a messy argument.
“Well, he—,” said the two, indicating their opponent with accusative forefingers.
“Well, he—,” said the two, pointing at their opponent with accusing fingers.
The huge soldier was quite purple with rage. He pointed at the two soldiers with his great hand, extended clawlike. “Well, they—”
The huge soldier was really furious, his face turning purple. He pointed at the two soldiers with his massive hand, which looked like a claw. “Well, they—”
But during this argumentative time the desire to deal blows seemed to pass, although they said much to each other. Finally the friend returned to his old seat. In a short while the three antagonists could be seen together in an amiable bunch.
But during this heated time, the urge to throw punches seemed to fade, even though they were saying a lot to each other. Eventually, the friend went back to his old seat. Soon, the three opponents could be seen hanging out together in a friendly group.
“Jimmie Rogers ses I’ll have t’ fight him after th’ battle t’-day,” announced the friend as he again seated himself. “He ses he don’t allow no interferin’ in his business. I hate t’ see th’ boys fightin’ ’mong themselves.”
“Jimmie Rogers says he’ll have to fight him after the battle today,” announced the friend as he sat down again. “He says he doesn’t allow any interference in his business. I hate to see the guys fighting among themselves.”
The youth laughed. “Yer changed a good bit. Yeh ain’t at all like yeh was. I remember when you an’ that Irish feller—” He stopped and laughed again.
The young man laughed. “You've changed quite a bit. You’re nothing like you used to be. I remember when you and that Irish guy—” He paused and laughed again.
“No, I didn’t use t’ be that way,” said his friend thoughtfully. “That’s true ’nough.”
“No, I didn't used to be that way,” said his friend thoughtfully. “That's true enough.”
“Well, I didn’t mean—” began the youth.
“Well, I didn’t mean to—” started the young man.
The friend made another deprecatory gesture. “Oh, yeh needn’t mind, Henry.”
The friend made another dismissive gesture. “Oh, you don’t need to worry about it, Henry.”
There was another little pause.
There was another brief pause.
“Th’ reg’ment lost over half th’ men yestirday,” remarked the friend eventually. “I thought ’a course they was all dead, but, laws, they kep’ a-comin’ back last night until it seems, after all, we didn’t lose but a few. They’d been scattered all over, wanderin’ around in th’ woods, fightin’ with other reg’ments, an’ everything. Jest like you done.”
“The regiment lost more than half of the men yesterday,” remarked the friend eventually. “I thought for sure they were all dead, but wow, they kept coming back last night until it seems, after all, we didn’t lose but a few. They’d been scattered everywhere, wandering around in the woods, fighting with other regiments, and everything. Just like you did.”
“So?” said the youth.
“So?” said the young person.
Chapter XV.
The regiment was standing at order arms at the side of a lane, waiting for the command to march, when suddenly the youth remembered the little packet enwrapped in a faded yellow envelope which the loud young soldier with lugubrious words had intrusted to him. It made him start. He uttered an exclamation and turned toward his comrade.
The regiment was standing at attention on the side of a lane, waiting for the command to march, when suddenly the young man remembered the small package wrapped in a faded yellow envelope that the loud young soldier with sad words had given him. It caught him off guard. He exclaimed and turned toward his comrade.
“Wilson!”
"Wilson!"
“What?”
“Wait, what?”
His friend, at his side in the ranks, was thoughtfully staring down the road. From some cause his expression was at that moment very meek. The youth, regarding him with sidelong glances, felt impelled to change his purpose. “Oh, nothing,” he said.
His friend, standing next to him in the ranks, was lost in thought as he stared down the road. For some reason, his expression looked very gentle at that moment. The young man, looking at him out of the corner of his eye, felt the urge to change his mind. “Oh, nothing,” he said.
His friend turned his head in some surprise, “Why, what was yeh goin’ t’ say?”
His friend turned his head in surprise, “What were you going to say?”
“Oh, nothing,” repeated the youth.
“Oh, nothing,” the young person repeated.
He resolved not to deal the little blow. It was sufficient that the fact made him glad. It was not necessary to knock his friend on the head with the misguided packet.
He decided not to deliver the little blow. It was enough that the fact made him happy. There was no need to hit his friend over the head with the misguided packet.
He had been possessed of much fear of his friend, for he saw how easily questionings could make holes in his feelings. Lately, he had assured himself that the altered comrade would not tantalize him with a persistent curiosity, but he felt certain that during the first period of leisure his friend would ask him to relate his adventures of the previous day.
He had been very afraid of his friend because he noticed how easily questions could hurt his feelings. Recently, he had convinced himself that the changed friend wouldn't bother him with endless curiosity, but he was sure that during their first free moment, his friend would ask him to share his adventures from the day before.
He now rejoiced in the possession of a small weapon with which he could prostrate his comrade at the first signs of a cross-examination. He was master. It would now be he who could laugh and shoot the shafts of derision.
He was now happy to have a small weapon that he could use to take down his friend at the first hint of a tough questioning. He was in control. It would be him who could laugh and throw out insults.
The friend had, in a weak hour, spoken with sobs of his own death. He had delivered a melancholy oration previous to his funeral, and had doubtless in the packet of letters, presented various keepsakes to relatives. But he had not died, and thus he had delivered himself into the hands of the youth.
The friend had, in a moment of weakness, talked with tears about his own death. He had given a sad speech before his funeral and had certainly included various keepsakes for family members in the packet of letters. But he hadn’t died, and so he had surrendered himself to the young man.
The latter felt immensely superior to his friend, but he inclined to condescension. He adopted toward him an air of patronizing good humor.
The latter felt way more superior to his friend, but he tended to be condescending. He took on a tone of overly friendly superiority towards him.
His self-pride was now entirely restored. In the shade of its flourishing growth he stood with braced and self-confident legs, and since nothing could now be discovered he did not shrink from an encounter with the eyes of judges, and allowed no thoughts of his own to keep him from an attitude of manfulness. He had performed his mistakes in the dark, so he was still a man.
His self-esteem was fully restored. In the comfort of its thriving presence, he stood confidently with strong legs, and since there was nothing left to uncover, he didn't shy away from facing the judges. He didn't let any doubts hold him back from standing tall. He had made his mistakes in secret, so he was still a man.
Indeed, when he remembered his fortunes of yesterday, and looked at them from a distance he began to see something fine there. He had license to be pompous and veteranlike.
Indeed, as he reflected on his luck from yesterday and viewed it from afar, he started to notice something valuable in it. He felt entitled to be grand and seasoned.
His panting agonies of the past he put out of his sight.
He pushed the painful memories of the past out of his mind.
In the present, he declared to himself that it was only the doomed and the damned who roared with sincerity at circumstance. Few but they ever did it. A man with a full stomach and the respect of his fellows had no business to scold about anything that he might think to be wrong in the ways of the universe, or even with the ways of society. Let the unfortunates rail; the others may play marbles.
In the present, he told himself that only the cursed and the damned truly reacted with honesty to what life threw at them. Hardly anyone else did. A man who was well-fed and respected by others had no right to complain about anything he perceived to be wrong with the universe or even society. Let the unfortunate ones express their anger; the rest can keep playing games.
He did not give a great deal of thought to these battles that lay directly before him. It was not essential that he should plan his ways in regard to them. He had been taught that many obligations of a life were easily avoided. The lessons of yesterday had been that retribution was a laggard and blind. With these facts before him he did not deem it necessary that he should become feverish over the possibilities of the ensuing twenty-four hours. He could leave much to chance. Besides, a faith in himself had secretly blossomed. There was a little flower of confidence growing within him. He was now a man of experience. He had been out among the dragons, he said, and he assured himself that they were not so hideous as he had imagined them. Also, they were inaccurate; they did not sting with precision. A stout heart often defied, and defying, escaped.
He didn’t think too much about the challenges ahead of him. He didn’t need to plan his approach to them. He had learned that many life obligations could be easily sidestepped. The lessons from yesterday showed him that revenge was slow and blind. With these thoughts in mind, he didn’t feel it was necessary to get worked up over what might happen in the next twenty-four hours. He could leave a lot to chance. Plus, he had secretly developed a belief in himself. There was a small bloom of confidence growing inside him. He was now a person with experience. He had faced the dragons, he told himself, and he assured himself that they weren’t as terrifying as he had thought. Also, they weren’t accurate; they didn’t sting with precision. A strong heart often defied danger, and by doing so, escaped.
And, furthermore, how could they kill him who was the chosen of gods and doomed to greatness?
And, besides, how could they kill him who was chosen by the gods and destined for greatness?
He remembered how some of the men had run from the battle. As he recalled their terror-struck faces he felt a scorn for them. They had surely been more fleet and more wild than was absolutely necessary. They were weak mortals. As for himself, he had fled with discretion and dignity.
He remembered how some of the guys had run from the battle. As he thought about their terrified faces, he felt a disdain for them. They had definitely been more panicked and frantic than necessary. They were weak humans. As for himself, he had retreated with caution and dignity.
He was aroused from this reverie by his friend, who, having hitched about nervously and blinked at the trees for a time, suddenly coughed in an introductory way, and spoke.
He was pulled out of his daydream by his friend, who, shifting around anxiously and staring at the trees for a bit, suddenly cleared his throat in a way that suggested he wanted to say something, and then spoke.
“Fleming!”
“Fleming!”
“What?”
“What’s happening?”
The friend put his hand up to his mouth and coughed again. He fidgeted in his jacket.
The friend covered his mouth and coughed again. He shifted uncomfortably in his jacket.
“Well,” he gulped at last, “I guess yeh might as well give me back them letters.” Dark, prickling blood had flushed into his cheeks and brow.
“Well,” he finally said, gulping, “I guess you might as well give me back those letters.” Dark, prickling blood had rushed into his cheeks and forehead.
“All right, Wilson,” said the youth. He loosened two buttons of his coat, thrust in his hand, and brought forth the packet. As he extended it to his friend the latter’s face was turned from him.
“All right, Wilson,” the young man said. He unfastened two buttons of his coat, reached in, and pulled out the packet. As he held it out to his friend, the other guy turned his face away.
He had been slow in the act of producing the packet because during it he had been trying to invent a remarkable comment on the affair. He could conjure up nothing of sufficient point. He was compelled to allow his friend to escape unmolested with his packet. And for this he took unto himself considerable credit. It was a generous thing.
He had been slow to put together the packet because he was trying to come up with a clever comment on the situation. He couldn't think of anything particularly insightful. He had to let his friend leave without any hassle with his packet. For this, he felt quite proud. It was a generous act.
His friend at his side seemed suffering great shame. As he contemplated him, the youth felt his heart grow more strong and stout. He had never been compelled to blush in such manner for his acts; he was an individual of extraordinary virtues.
His friend next to him looked really ashamed. As he watched him, the young man felt his heart grow stronger and braver. He had never had to feel that kind of embarrassment for his actions; he was someone of remarkable character.
He reflected, with condescending pity: “Too bad! Too bad! The poor devil, it makes him feel tough!”
He thought, with a dismissive pity, “What a shame! What a shame! The poor guy, it makes him feel strong!”
After this incident, and as he reviewed the battle pictures he had seen, he felt quite competent to return home and make the hearts of the people glow with stories of war. He could see himself in a room of warm tints telling tales to listeners. He could exhibit laurels. They were insignificant; still, in a district where laurels were infrequent, they might shine.
After this incident, as he looked over the battle pictures he had seen, he felt ready to go home and inspire the people with stories of war. He imagined himself in a warmly lit room sharing tales with an audience. He could display his laurels. They may not be impressive, but in a place where such honors were rare, they might still stand out.
He saw his gaping audience picturing him as the central figure in blazing scenes. And he imagined the consternation and the ejaculations of his mother and the young lady at the seminary as they drank his recitals. Their vague feminine formula for beloved ones doing brave deeds on the field of battle without risk of life would be destroyed.
He saw his captivated audience envisioning him as the main character in intense scenes. And he imagined the shock and exclamations of his mother and the young woman at the seminary as they absorbed his stories. Their vague feminine notion of loved ones performing courageous acts on the battlefield without risk to their lives would be shattered.
Chapter XVI.
A sputtering of musketry was always to be heard. Later, the cannon had entered the dispute. In the fog-filled air their voices made a thudding sound. The reverberations were continual. This part of the world led a strange, battleful existence.
A constant sound of gunfire could always be heard. Eventually, cannons joined the fight. In the foggy air, their blasts made a heavy noise. The echoes were relentless. This area led a bizarre, war-torn life.
The youth’s regiment was marched to relieve a command that had lain long in some damp trenches. The men took positions behind a curving line of rifle pits that had been turned up, like a large furrow, along the line of woods. Before them was a level stretch, peopled with short, deformed stumps. From the woods beyond came the dull popping of the skirmishers and pickets, firing in the fog. From the right came the noise of a terrific fracas.
The young soldiers' regiment was marched in to replace a unit that had been stuck for a long time in some wet trenches. The men took their positions behind a curved line of rifle pits that had been dug up like a large furrow along the woods. In front of them was a flat area filled with short, twisted stumps. From the woods ahead came the muffled sounds of the skirmishers and pickets shooting in the fog. From the right, there was the sound of a massive commotion.
The men cuddled behind the small embankment and sat in easy attitudes awaiting their turn. Many had their backs to the firing. The youth’s friend lay down, buried his face in his arms, and almost instantly, it seemed, he was in a deep sleep.
The men huddled behind the low embankment and sat comfortably, waiting for their turn. Many had their backs to the gunfire. The young man’s friend lay down, buried his face in his arms, and almost immediately, it seemed, he was sound asleep.
The youth leaned his breast against the brown dirt and peered over at the woods and up and down the line. Curtains of trees interfered with his ways of vision. He could see the low line of trenches but for a short distance. A few idle flags were perched on the dirt hills. Behind them were rows of dark bodies with a few heads sticking curiously over the top.
The young man pressed his chest against the brown dirt and looked over at the woods and along the line. Trees blocked his view. He could see the low line of trenches only for a short distance. A few idle flags were perched on the dirt hills. Behind them were rows of dark figures, with a few heads poking curiously above the top.
Always the noise of skirmishers came from the woods on the front and left, and the din on the right had grown to frightful proportions. The guns were roaring without an instant’s pause for breath. It seemed that the cannon had come from all parts and were engaged in a stupendous wrangle. It became impossible to make a sentence heard.
Always, the sounds of skirmishers echoed from the woods in front and to the left, and the racket on the right had become terrifyingly loud. The guns were blasting without a moment’s break. It felt like cannons had come from everywhere to join in a colossal argument. It was impossible to hear even a sentence.
The youth wished to launch a joke—a quotation from newspapers. He desired to say, “All quiet on the Rappahannock,” but the guns refused to permit even a comment upon their uproar. He never successfully concluded the sentence. But at last the guns stopped, and among the men in the rifle pits rumors again flew, like birds, but they were now for the most part black creatures who flapped their wings drearily near to the ground and refused to rise on any wings of hope. The men’s faces grew doleful from the interpreting of omens. Tales of hesitation and uncertainty on the part of those high in place and responsibility came to their ears. Stories of disaster were borne into their minds with many proofs. This din of musketry on the right, growing like a released genie of sound, expressed and emphasized the army’s plight.
The young man wanted to crack a joke—a line from the newspapers. He wanted to say, “All quiet on the Rappahannock,” but the artillery wouldn't allow even a comment on their chaos. He never finished the sentence. Finally, the guns fell silent, and among the men in the rifle pits, rumors started to circulate again, like birds, but these were mostly dark creatures that flapped their wings wearily close to the ground and refused to soar on any wings of hope. The men’s faces became grim as they interpreted omens. Tales of hesitation and doubt from those in power reached their ears. Stories of disaster flooded their minds with plenty of proof. The noise of gunfire on the right, growing like a released genie of sound, expressed and emphasized the army’s dire situation.
The men were disheartened and began to mutter. They made gestures expressive of the sentence: “Ah, what more can we do?” And it could always be seen that they were bewildered by the alleged news and could not fully comprehend a defeat.
The men were discouraged and started to grumble. Their gestures clearly conveyed the sentiment: “What else can we do?” It was evident that they were confused by the supposed news and couldn’t fully understand the defeat.
Before the gray mists had been totally obliterated by the sun rays, the regiment was marching in a spread column that was retiring carefully through the woods. The disordered, hurrying lines of the enemy could sometimes be seen down through the groves and little fields. They were yelling, shrill and exultant.
Before the gray fog had completely cleared away from the sunlight, the regiment was marching in a wide column that was cautiously retreating through the woods. The chaotic, rushed lines of the enemy could occasionally be spotted through the trees and small fields. They were shouting, loud and triumphant.
At this sight the youth forgot many personal matters and became greatly enraged. He exploded in loud sentences. “B’jiminey, we’re generaled by a lot ’a lunkheads.”
At this sight, the young man forgot a lot of personal issues and got really angry. He blew up with loud statements. “Geez, we’re led by a bunch of idiots.”
“More than one feller has said that t’-day,” observed a man.
"More than one guy has said that today," said a man.
His friend, recently aroused, was still very drowsy. He looked behind him until his mind took in the meaning of the movement. Then he sighed. “Oh, well, I s’pose we got licked,” he remarked sadly.
His friend, just waking up, was still really groggy. He looked behind him until he understood what was happening. Then he sighed. “Oh, well, I guess we got beat,” he said sadly.
The youth had a thought that it would not be handsome for him to freely condemn other men. He made an attempt to restrain himself, but the words upon his tongue were too bitter. He presently began a long and intricate denunciation of the commander of the forces.
The young man thought it wouldn't look good for him to openly criticize others. He tried to hold back, but the words on his tongue were too harsh. He quickly launched into a long and complicated criticism of the commander of the forces.
“Mebbe, it wa’n’t all his fault—not all together. He did th’ best he knowed. It’s our luck t’ git licked often,” said his friend in a weary tone. He was trudging along with stooped shoulders and shifting eyes like a man who has been caned and kicked.
“Maybe it wasn’t entirely his fault—not completely. He did the best he could. It’s just our luck to get beaten often,” said his friend in a tired tone. He was walking along with slumped shoulders and shifting eyes like someone who has been beaten and kicked.
“Well, don’t we fight like the devil? Don’t we do all that men can?” demanded the youth loudly.
“Well, don’t we fight like crazy? Don’t we do everything we can?” the young man asked loudly.
He was secretly dumfounded at this sentiment when it came from his lips. For a moment his face lost its valor and he looked guiltily about him. But no one questioned his right to deal in such words, and presently he recovered his air of courage. He went on to repeat a statement he had heard going from group to group at the camp that morning. “The brigadier said he never saw a new reg’ment fight the way we fought yestirday, didn’t he? And we didn’t do better than many another reg’ment, did we? Well, then, you can’t say it’s th’ army’s fault, can you?”
He was secretly shocked by this feeling when it came out of his mouth. For a moment, his face lost its confidence, and he glanced around nervously. But no one questioned his right to say such things, and soon he regained his bravado. He went on to repeat a statement he had heard going from group to group at the camp that morning. “The brigadier said he never saw a new regiment fight like we did yesterday, right? And we didn’t perform better than many other regiments, did we? Well, then, you can’t blame the army for it, can you?”
In his reply, the friend’s voice was stern. “’A course not,” he said. “No man dare say we don’t fight like th’ devil. No man will ever dare say it. Th’ boys fight like hell-roosters. But still—still, we don’t have no luck.”
In his reply, the friend's voice was serious. “Of course not,” he said. “No man would dare say we don’t fight like the devil. No one will ever say that. The guys fight like crazy. But still—still, we don’t have any luck.”
“Well, then, if we fight like the devil an’ don’t ever whip, it must be the general’s fault,” said the youth grandly and decisively. “And I don’t see any sense in fighting and fighting and fighting, yet always losing through some derned old lunkhead of a general.”
“Well, if we're fighting like crazy and still can't win, it must be the general's fault,” the young man said confidently and decisively. “I don’t see the point in fighting over and over again and always losing because of some stupid old general.”
A sarcastic man who was tramping at the youth’s side, then spoke lazily. “Mebbe yeh think yeh fit th’ hull battle yestirday, Fleming,” he remarked.
A sarcastic guy who was walking alongside the youth then spoke lazily. “Maybe you think you’re the whole battle yesterday, Fleming,” he remarked.
The speech pierced the youth. Inwardly he was reduced to an abject pulp by these chance words. His legs quaked privately. He cast a frightened glance at the sarcastic man.
The speech hit the young man hard. Inside, he felt completely crushed by those random words. His legs shook uncontrollably. He threw a scared look at the sarcastic guy.
“Why, no,” he hastened to say in a conciliating voice “I don’t think I fought the whole battle yesterday.”
“Why, no,” he quickly said in a soothing voice, “I don’t think I fought the whole battle yesterday.”
But the other seemed innocent of any deeper meaning. Apparently, he had no information. It was merely his habit. “Oh!” he replied in the same tone of calm derision.
But the other seemed unaware of any deeper meaning. Clearly, he had no information. It was just his habit. “Oh!” he responded in the same tone of calm mockery.
The youth, nevertheless, felt a threat. His mind shrank from going near to the danger, and thereafter he was silent. The significance of the sarcastic man’s words took from him all loud moods that would make him appear prominent. He became suddenly a modest person.
The young man, however, sensed a threat. His mind recoiled from getting close to the danger, and after that, he fell quiet. The meaning of the sarcastic man’s words stripped him of any loud behavior that would draw attention. He became suddenly very humble.
There was low-toned talk among the troops. The officers were impatient and snappy, their countenances clouded with the tales of misfortune. The troops, sifting through the forest, were sullen. In the youth’s company once a man’s laugh rang out. A dozen soldiers turned their faces quickly toward him and frowned with vague displeasure.
There was quiet conversation among the troops. The officers were impatient and irritable, their faces darkened by stories of misfortune. The troops, moving through the forest, were moody. In the group of young men, one guy’s laughter suddenly rang out. A dozen soldiers quickly turned their heads toward him and frowned with unclear irritation.
The noise of firing dogged their footsteps. Sometimes, it seemed to be driven a little way, but it always returned again with increased insolence. The men muttered and cursed, throwing black looks in its direction.
The sound of gunfire followed them closely. Sometimes it felt like it was getting further away, but it always came back with even more arrogance. The men grumbled and swore, casting dark glares in its direction.
In a clear space the troops were at last halted. Regiments and brigades, broken and detached through their encounters with thickets, grew together again and lines were faced toward the pursuing bark of the enemy’s infantry.
In an open area, the troops finally came to a stop. Regiments and brigades, scattered and separated after their encounters with bushes, regrouped and formed lines facing the advancing enemy infantry.
This noise, following like the yelpings of eager, metallic hounds, increased to a loud and joyous burst, and then, as the sun went serenely up the sky, throwing illuminating rays into the gloomy thickets, it broke forth into prolonged pealings. The woods began to crackle as if afire.
This noise, echoing like the excited barks of metallic hounds, grew into a loud and joyful burst. Then, as the sun rose calmly in the sky, casting bright rays into the dark thickets, it erupted into prolonged ringing. The woods started to crackle as if they were on fire.
“Whoop-a-dadee,” said a man, “here we are! Everybody fightin’. Blood an’ destruction.”
“Whoop-a-dadee,” said a man, “here we are! Everyone's fighting. Blood and destruction.”
“I was willin’ t’ bet they’d attack as soon as th’ sun got fairly up,” savagely asserted the lieutenant who commanded the youth’s company. He jerked without mercy at his little mustache. He strode to and fro with dark dignity in the rear of his men, who were lying down behind whatever protection they had collected.
“I was willing to bet they’d attack as soon as the sun was up,” fiercely declared the lieutenant in charge of the young man’s company. He tugged at his small mustache with no regard. He paced back and forth with a serious demeanor behind his men, who were lying down behind whatever cover they had gathered.
A battery had trundled into position in the rear and was thoughtfully shelling the distance. The regiment, unmolested as yet, awaited the moment when the gray shadows of the woods before them should be slashed by the lines of flame. There was much growling and swearing.
A battery had rolled into position at the back and was carefully shelling the area in the distance. The regiment, not having been disturbed yet, waited for the moment when the gray shadows of the woods ahead would be lit up by the lines of fire. There was a lot of grumbling and cursing.
“Good Gawd,” the youth grumbled, “we’re always being chased around like rats! It makes me sick. Nobody seems to know where we go or why we go. We just get fired around from pillar to post and get licked here and get licked there, and nobody knows what it’s done for. It makes a man feel like a damn’ kitten in a bag. Now, I’d like to know what the eternal thunders we was marched into these woods for anyhow, unless it was to give the rebs a regular pot shot at us. We came in here and got our legs all tangled up in these cussed briers, and then we begin to fight and the rebs had an easy time of it. Don’t tell me it’s just luck! I know better. It’s this derned old—”
“Good God,” the young man complained, “we’re always being chased around like rats! It makes me sick. Nobody seems to know where we’re going or why we’re going. We just get shuffled from one place to another and take hits here and there, and nobody knows what it’s for. It makes a guy feel like a damn kitten in a bag. Now, I’d like to know what the hell we were marched into these woods for anyway, unless it was to give the Confederates an easy shot at us. We came in here and got our legs all tangled up in these damn thorns, and then we start fighting, and the Confederates had an easy time of it. Don’t tell me it’s just luck! I know better. It’s this damn old—”
The friend seemed jaded, but he interrupted his comrade with a voice of calm confidence. “It’ll turn out all right in th’ end,” he said.
The friend seemed worn out, but he interrupted his buddy with a calm and confident voice. “It’ll be fine in the end,” he said.
“Oh, the devil it will! You always talk like a dog-hanged parson. Don’t tell me! I know—”
“Oh, it definitely will! You always sound like a priest who’s been hanged. Don’t try to tell me! I already know—”
At this time there was an interposition by the savage-minded lieutenant, who was obliged to vent some of his inward dissatisfaction upon his men. “You boys shut right up! There no need ’a your wastin’ your breath in long-winded arguments about this an’ that an’ th’ other. You’ve been jawin’ like a lot ’a old hens. All you’ve got t’ do is to fight, an’ you’ll get plenty ’a that t’ do in about ten minutes. Less talkin’ an’ more fightin’ is what’s best for you boys. I never saw sech gabbling jackasses.”
At this moment, the aggressive lieutenant interrupted, looking to vent his frustration on his men. “You guys need to be quiet! There’s no reason for you to waste your breath arguing about everything under the sun. You’ve been chattering like a bunch of old hens. All you need to do is fight, and you’ll have plenty of that to handle in about ten minutes. Less talking and more fighting is what you need. I’ve never seen such a bunch of jabbering fools.”
He paused, ready to pounce upon any man who might have the temerity to reply. No words being said, he resumed his dignified pacing.
He paused, ready to jump on anyone who dared to respond. With no words spoken, he continued his dignified pacing.
“There’s too much chin music an’ too little fightin’ in this war, anyhow,” he said to them, turning his head for a final remark.
“There’s too much talking and too little fighting in this war, anyway,” he said to them, turning his head for one last remark.
The day had grown more white, until the sun shed his full radiance upon the thronged forest. A sort of a gust of battle came sweeping toward that part of the line where lay the youth’s regiment. The front shifted a trifle to meet it squarely. There was a wait. In this part of the field there passed slowly the intense moments that precede the tempest.
The day had become brighter as the sun poured its full light on the crowded forest. A wave of excitement swept toward the section of the line where the young soldier's regiment was positioned. The front adjusted slightly to face it directly. There was a pause. In this area of the battlefield, the tense moments before the storm flowed slowly by.
A single rifle flashed in a thicket before the regiment. In an instant it was joined by many others. There was a mighty song of clashes and crashes that went sweeping through the woods. The guns in the rear, aroused and enraged by shells that had been thrown burr-like at them, suddenly involved themselves in a hideous altercation with another band of guns. The battle roar settled to a rolling thunder, which was a single, long explosion.
A single rifle fired in a thicket in front of the regiment. In no time, it was followed by many more. A powerful cacophony of clashes and crashes echoed through the woods. The guns in the back, stirred up and infuriated by shells that had been lobbed at them, suddenly engaged in a horrific confrontation with another group of guns. The noise of battle transformed into a rumbling thunder, which sounded like one continuous explosion.
In the regiment there was a peculiar kind of hesitation denoted in the attitudes of the men. They were worn, exhausted, having slept but little and labored much. They rolled their eyes toward the advancing battle as they stood awaiting the shock. Some shrank and flinched. They stood as men tied to stakes.
In the regiment, there was a strange kind of hesitation shown in the men’s postures. They looked worn out and exhausted, having slept very little and worked a lot. They rolled their eyes toward the approaching battle as they waited for the clash. Some shrank back and flinched. They stood like men tied to stakes.
Chapter XVII.
This advance of the enemy had seemed to the youth like a ruthless hunting. He began to fume with rage and exasperation. He beat his foot upon the ground, and scowled with hate at the swirling smoke that was approaching like a phantom flood. There was a maddening quality in this seeming resolution of the foe to give him no rest, to give him no time to sit down and think. Yesterday he had fought and had fled rapidly. There had been many adventures. For to-day he felt that he had earned opportunities for contemplative repose. He could have enjoyed portraying to uninitiated listeners various scenes at which he had been a witness or ably discussing the processes of war with other proved men. Too it was important that he should have time for physical recuperation. He was sore and stiff from his experiences. He had received his fill of all exertions, and he wished to rest.
This enemy advance felt to the young man like a ruthless hunt. He started to simmer with rage and frustration. He stomped his foot on the ground and glared with hatred at the swirling smoke approaching like a phantom flood. There was something maddening about the enemy's apparent determination to not give him a moment's peace, to not allow him any time to sit down and think. Just yesterday, he had fought and fled quickly. There had been many adventures. Today, he believed he had earned the chance for some reflective rest. He could have enjoyed sharing his stories with people who hadn’t experienced what he had or discussing the realities of war with other seasoned soldiers. It was also important for him to have time to physically recover. He was sore and stiff from everything he had been through. He had had enough of all the exertion, and he just wanted to rest.
But those other men seemed never to grow weary; they were fighting with their old speed. He had a wild hate for the relentless foe. Yesterday, when he had imagined the universe to be against him, he had hated it, little gods and big gods; to-day he hated the army of the foe with the same great hatred. He was not going to be badgered of his life, like a kitten chased by boys, he said. It was not well to drive men into final corners; at those moments they could all develop teeth and claws.
But those other guys never seemed to get tired; they were fighting with the same old speed. He had a fierce hatred for the relentless enemy. Yesterday, when he felt like the whole universe was against him, he had hated it, little gods and big gods; today he hated the enemy army with that same intense hatred. He wasn't going to let them push him around like a kitten being chased by boys, he thought. It’s not a good idea to drive people into a corner; in those moments, everyone can show their teeth and claws.
He leaned and spoke into his friend’s ear. He menaced the woods with a gesture. “If they keep on chasing us, by Gawd, they’d better watch out. Can’t stand too much.”
He leaned in and whispered into his friend's ear. He threatened the woods with a gesture. “If they keep chasing us, damn it, they'd better watch out. Can't take too much.”
The friend twisted his head and made a calm reply. “If they keep on a-chasin’ us they’ll drive us all inteh th’ river.”
The friend turned his head and replied calmly, “If they keep chasing us, they'll drive us all into the river.”
The youth cried out savagely at this statement. He crouched behind a little tree, with his eyes burning hatefully and his teeth set in a curlike snarl. The awkward bandage was still about his head, and upon it, over his wound, there was a spot of dry blood. His hair was wondrously tousled, and some straggling, moving locks hung over the cloth of the bandage down toward his forehead. His jacket and shirt were open at the throat, and exposed his young bronzed neck. There could be seen spasmodic gulpings at his throat.
The young man shouted angrily at this remark. He crouched behind a small tree, his eyes filled with rage and his teeth bared in a snarl. The makeshift bandage was still wrapped around his head, stained with a patch of dried blood over his wound. His hair was wildly unkempt, with some loose strands falling over the bandage towards his forehead. His jacket and shirt were open at the neck, revealing his youthful, sun-kissed skin. It was clear he was struggling to control his emotions, with spasms in his throat.
His fingers twined nervously about his rifle. He wished that it was an engine of annihilating power. He felt that he and his companions were being taunted and derided from sincere convictions that they were poor and puny. His knowledge of his inability to take vengeance for it made his rage into a dark and stormy specter, that possessed him and made him dream of abominable cruelties. The tormentors were flies sucking insolently at his blood, and he thought that he would have given his life for a revenge of seeing their faces in pitiful plights.
His fingers nervously clutched his rifle. He wished it was a weapon of total destruction. He felt like he and his friends were being mocked and looked down upon, as if they were weak and insignificant. Knowing he couldn't get back at them for it fueled his anger, turning it into a dark and raging presence that filled his mind with terrible thoughts. The bullies were like flies shamelessly feeding on his blood, and he thought he would gladly give his life just for the satisfaction of seeing them in miserable situations.
The winds of battle had swept all about the regiment, until the one rifle, instantly followed by others, flashed in its front. A moment later the regiment roared forth its sudden and valiant retort. A dense wall of smoke settled down. It was furiously slit and slashed by the knifelike fire from the rifles.
The winds of battle had swept all around the regiment, until one rifle, quickly followed by others, fired from the front. A moment later, the regiment let out a loud and brave response. A thick wall of smoke settled down, violently torn apart by the sharp fire from the rifles.
To the youth the fighters resembled animals tossed for a death struggle into a dark pit. There was a sensation that he and his fellows, at bay, were pushing back, always pushing fierce onslaughts of creatures who were slippery. Their beams of crimson seemed to get no purchase upon the bodies of their foes; the latter seemed to evade them with ease, and come through, between, around, and about with unopposed skill.
To the young people, the fighters looked like animals thrown into a dark pit for a fight to the death. It felt like he and his friends, cornered, were constantly pushing back against relentless attacks from these slippery creatures. Their beams of crimson didn't seem to land on their opponents at all; the enemies easily dodged them, weaving through, around, and about with unmatched agility.
When, in a dream, it occurred to the youth that his rifle was an impotent stick, he lost sense of everything but his hate, his desire to smash into pulp the glittering smile of victory which he could feel upon the faces of his enemies.
When, in a dream, it struck the young man that his rifle was just a useless stick, he lost awareness of everything except his hatred, his urge to crush the shining grin of victory that he could sense on the faces of his enemies.
The blue smoke-swallowed line curled and writhed like a snake stepped upon. It swung its ends to and fro in an agony of fear and rage.
The blue smoke-filled line twisted and turned like a snake that's been stepped on. It swung its ends back and forth in a mix of fear and anger.
The youth was not conscious that he was erect upon his feet. He did not know the direction of the ground. Indeed, once he even lost the habit of balance and fell heavily. He was up again immediately. One thought went through the chaos of his brain at the time. He wondered if he had fallen because he had been shot. But the suspicion flew away at once. He did not think more of it.
The young man was unaware that he was standing on his feet. He didn’t know which way was down. In fact, there was a moment when he lost his sense of balance and fell hard. He got back up right away. One thought crossed the confusion in his mind at that moment. He wondered if he had fallen because he had been shot. But that thought disappeared just as quickly. He didn’t think about it anymore.
He had taken up a first position behind the little tree, with a direct determination to hold it against the world. He had not deemed it possible that his army could that day succeed, and from this he felt the ability to fight harder. But the throng had surged in all ways, until he lost directions and locations, save that he knew where lay the enemy.
He had taken up a position behind the small tree, firmly determined to defend it against the world. He didn't think it was possible for his army to succeed that day, and because of this, he felt he could fight even harder. But the crowd had surged from all directions, until he lost his sense of direction and location, except that he knew where the enemy was.
The flames bit him, and the hot smoke broiled his skin. His rifle barrel grew so hot that ordinarily he could not have borne it upon his palms; but he kept on stuffing cartridges into it, and pounding them with his clanking, bending ramrod. If he aimed at some changing form through the smoke, he pulled the trigger with a fierce grunt, as if he were dealing a blow of the fist with all his strength.
The flames stung him, and the hot smoke scorched his skin. His rifle barrel became so hot that he usually wouldn't have been able to hold it in his hands; but he kept jamming cartridges into it and slamming them down with his noisy, bending ramrod. If he aimed at some shifting shape through the smoke, he pulled the trigger with a fierce grunt, as if he were throwing a punch with all his strength.
When the enemy seemed falling back before him and his fellows, he went instantly forward, like a dog who, seeing his foes lagging, turns and insists upon being pursued. And when he was compelled to retire again, he did it slowly, sullenly, taking steps of wrathful despair.
When the enemy seemed to be retreating before him and his team, he immediately charged ahead, like a dog that, seeing its opponents lagging, turns around and demands to be chased. And when he had to pull back again, he did it slowly and resentfully, taking heavy steps filled with anger and despair.
Once he, in his intent hate, was almost alone, and was firing, when all those near him had ceased. He was so engrossed in his occupation that he was not aware of a lull.
Once he was nearly alone in his intense anger, and he was shooting, while everyone around him had stopped. He was so absorbed in what he was doing that he didn't even notice the quiet.
He was recalled by a hoarse laugh and a sentence that came to his ears in a voice of contempt and amazement. “Yeh infernal fool, don’t yeh know enough t’ quit when there ain’t anything t’ shoot at? Good Gawd!”
He was brought back by a raspy laugh and a statement that reached his ears with a tone of disdain and disbelief. “You damn fool, don’t you know enough to give it a rest when there’s nothing to shoot at? Good God!”
He turned then and, pausing with his rifle thrown half into position, looked at the blue line of his comrades. During this moment of leisure they seemed all to be engaged in staring with astonishment at him. They had become spectators. Turning to the front again he saw, under the lifted smoke, a deserted ground.
He turned around and, pausing with his rifle half raised, looked at the blue line of his comrades. In that brief moment, they all seemed to be staring at him in astonishment. They had become spectators. When he turned back to the front, he saw a deserted area under the rising smoke.
He looked bewildered for a moment. Then there appeared upon the glazed vacancy of his eyes a diamond point of intelligence. “Oh,” he said, comprehending.
He looked confused for a moment. Then a spark of understanding flashed in his eyes. “Oh,” he said, getting it.
He returned to his comrades and threw himself upon the ground. He sprawled like a man who had been thrashed. His flesh seemed strangely on fire, and the sounds of the battle continued in his ears. He groped blindly for his canteen.
He came back to his friends and collapsed on the ground. He lay there like someone who had been beaten up. His body felt unnaturally hot, and he could still hear the sounds of the battle in his ears. He fumbled around blindly for his canteen.
The lieutenant was crowing. He seemed drunk with fighting. He called out to the youth: “By heavens, if I had ten thousand wild cats like you I could tear th’ stomach outa this war in less’n a week!” He puffed out his chest with large dignity as he said it.
The lieutenant was boasting. He seemed exhilarated by the battle. He shouted to the young man, “Honestly, if I had ten thousand fierce fighters like you, I could end this war in less than a week!” He puffed out his chest with a grand sense of pride as he said it.
Some of the men muttered and looked at the youth in awestruck ways. It was plain that as he had gone on loading and firing and cursing without proper intermission, they had found time to regard him. And they now looked upon him as a war devil.
Some of the men whispered and stared at the young man in amazement. It was clear that while he kept loading, firing, and swearing without taking a break, they had taken a moment to watch him. Now, they viewed him as a war demon.
The friend came staggering to him. There was some fright and dismay in his voice. “Are yeh all right, Fleming? Do yeh feel all right? There ain’t nothin’ th’ matter with yeh, Henry, is there?”
The friend stumbled over to him. There was a hint of fear and worry in his voice. “Are you okay, Fleming? Do you feel okay? There’s nothing wrong with you, Henry, is there?”
“No,” said the youth with difficulty. His throat seemed full of knobs and burrs.
“No,” said the young man with difficulty. His throat felt full of lumps and rough spots.
These incidents made the youth ponder. It was revealed to him that he had been a barbarian, a beast. He had fought like a pagan who defends his religion. Regarding it, he saw that it was fine, wild, and, in some ways, easy. He had been a tremendous figure, no doubt. By this struggle he had overcome obstacles which he had admitted to be mountains. They had fallen like paper peaks, and he was now what he called a hero. And he had not been aware of the process. He had slept, and, awakening, found himself a knight.
These experiences caused the young man to think deeply. He realized he had acted like a savage, like a beast. He had fought like someone defending their faith. In reflection, he saw that it was intense, primal, and in some ways, straightforward. He had been a remarkable person, without a doubt. Through this battle, he had conquered challenges he had once considered insurmountable. They collapsed like flimsy paper, and now he saw himself as a hero. He hadn't even recognized how it happened. He had been asleep, and upon waking, he discovered he was a knight.
He lay and basked in the occasional stares of his comrades. Their faces were varied in degrees of blackness from the burned powder. Some were utterly smudged. They were reeking with perspiration, and their breaths came hard and wheezing. And from these soiled expanses they peered at him.
He lay there, soaking in the occasional looks from his teammates. Their faces showed different levels of blackness from the burned powder. Some were completely smeared. They were sweating heavily, and their breaths were labored and wheezing. From those dirty faces, they stared at him.
“Hot work! Hot work!” cried the lieutenant deliriously. He walked up and down, restless and eager. Sometimes his voice could be heard in a wild, incomprehensible laugh.
“Hot work! Hot work!” shouted the lieutenant excitedly. He paced back and forth, restless and eager. Occasionally, his voice erupted in a wild, nonsensical laugh.
When he had a particularly profound thought upon the science of war he always unconsciously addressed himself to the youth.
When he had a particularly deep thought about the science of war, he always unconsciously spoke to the young people.
There was some grim rejoicing by the men. “By thunder, I bet this army’ll never see another new reg’ment like us!”
There was some dark celebration among the men. “Wow, I bet this army will never see another new regiment like us!”
“You bet!”
"You got it!"
“A dog, a woman, an’ a walnut tree
Th’ more yeh beat ’em, th’ better they be!
“A dog, a woman, and a walnut tree
The more you hit them, the better they are!”
That’s like us.”
That's just like us.
“Lost a piler men, they did. If an ol’ woman swep’ up th’ woods she’d git a dustpanful.”
“Lost a bunch of guys, they did. If an old woman cleaned up the woods, she’d get a dustpan full.”
“Yes, an’ if she’ll come around ag’in in ’bout an hour she’ll get a pile more.”
“Yes, and if she comes back in about an hour, she’ll get a lot more.”
The forest still bore its burden of clamor. From off under the trees came the rolling clatter of the musketry. Each distant thicket seemed a strange porcupine with quills of flame. A cloud of dark smoke, as from smoldering ruins, went up toward the sun now bright and gay in the blue, enameled sky.
The forest was still filled with noise. From beneath the trees came the distant sound of gunfire. Each far-off thicket looked like a strange porcupine with spiny flames. A cloud of dark smoke, like that from burning ruins, rose up toward the cheerful sun in the bright blue sky.
Chapter XVIII.
The ragged line had respite for some minutes, but during its pause the struggle in the forest became magnified until the trees seemed to quiver from the firing and the ground to shake from the rushing of men. The voices of the cannon were mingled in a long and interminable row. It seemed difficult to live in such an atmosphere. The chests of the men strained for a bit of freshness, and their throats craved water.
The frayed line had a break for a few minutes, but during that pause, the struggle in the forest grew louder until the trees seemed to shake from the gunfire and the ground to tremble from the rushing of soldiers. The sounds of the cannons were mixed together in a long and endless rumble. It felt hard to breathe in such an environment. The men's chests heaved for a breath of fresh air, and their throats ached for water.
There was one shot through the body, who raised a cry of bitter lamentation when came this lull. Perhaps he had been calling out during the fighting also, but at that time no one had heard him. But now the men turned at the woeful complaints of him upon the ground.
There was one shot through the body who let out a cry of deep sorrow when this pause came. Maybe he had been shouting during the fighting too, but back then no one had heard him. Now the men turned to the sad cries of him on the ground.
“Who is it? Who is it?”
“Who is it? Who is it?”
“Its Jimmie Rogers. Jimmie Rogers.”
"It's Jimmie Rogers. Jimmie Rogers."
When their eyes first encountered him there was a sudden halt, as if they feared to go near. He was thrashing about in the grass, twisting his shuddering body into many strange postures. He was screaming loudly. This instant’s hesitation seemed to fill him with a tremendous, fantastic contempt, and he damned them in shrieked sentences.
When they first saw him, everything stopped, as if they were afraid to get closer. He was thrashing around in the grass, twisting his trembling body into all sorts of odd positions. He was screaming loudly. That moment of hesitation seemed to fill him with a huge, unreal contempt, and he cursed them in shouted sentences.
The youth’s friend had a geographical illusion concerning a stream, and he obtained permission to go for some water. Immediately canteens were showered upon him. “Fill mine, will yeh?” “Bring me some, too.” “And me, too.” He departed, ladened. The youth went with his friend, feeling a desire to throw his heated body into the stream and, soaking there, drink quarts.
The young man’s friend had a misconception about a stream, and he got permission to go get some water. Right away, everyone started asking him for canteens. “Fill mine, will you?” “Bring me some, too.” “And me, as well.” He left, weighed down by the canteens. The young man went with his friend, wanting to dive into the stream and drink gallons while soaking in the water.
They made a hurried search for the supposed stream, but did not find it. “No water here,” said the youth. They turned without delay and began to retrace their steps.
They quickly looked for the supposed stream, but couldn't find it. “No water here,” said the young man. They immediately turned around and started to head back.
From their position as they again faced toward the place of the fighting, they could comprehend a greater amount of the battle than when their visions had been blurred by the hurling smoke of the line. They could see dark stretches winding along the land, and on one cleared space there was a row of guns making gray clouds, which were filled with large flashes of orange-colored flame. Over some foliage they could see the roof of a house. One window, glowing a deep murder red, shone squarely through the leaves. From the edifice a tall leaning tower of smoke went far into the sky.
From their position as they turned to face the fighting again, they could grasp more of the battle than when their sight had been obscured by the swirling smoke. They could see dark stretches across the land, and in one open area, a row of cannons was creating gray clouds filled with bright orange flashes. Over some trees, they spotted the roof of a house. One window, glowing a deep, deadly red, shone clearly through the leaves. From the building, a tall, leaning column of smoke rose high into the sky.
Looking over their own troops, they saw mixed masses slowly getting into regular form. The sunlight made twinkling points of the bright steel. To the rear there was a glimpse of a distant roadway as it curved over a slope. It was crowded with retreating infantry. From all the interwoven forest arose the smoke and bluster of the battle. The air was always occupied by a blaring.
Looking at their own troops, they noticed a jumble of soldiers gradually forming up. The sunlight sparkled off the bright steel. In the distance, they could see a winding road disappearing over a hill, packed with retreating infantry. From the tangled forest came the smoke and chaos of battle. The air was constantly filled with noise.
Near where they stood shells were flip-flapping and hooting. Occasional bullets buzzed in the air and spanged into tree trunks. Wounded men and other stragglers were slinking through the woods.
Near where they stood, shells were popping and whistling. Occasionally, bullets zipped through the air and struck the tree trunks. Injured men and other stragglers were sneaking through the woods.
Looking down an aisle of the grove, the youth and his companion saw a jangling general and his staff almost ride upon a wounded man, who was crawling on his hands and knees. The general reined strongly at his charger’s opened and foamy mouth and guided it with dexterous horsemanship past the man. The latter scrambled in wild and torturing haste. His strength evidently failed him as he reached a place of safety. One of his arms suddenly weakened, and he fell, sliding over upon his back. He lay stretched out, breathing gently.
Looking down an aisle of the grove, the young man and his friend saw a noisy general and his staff almost ride over a wounded man who was crawling on his hands and knees. The general pulled hard on his horse’s open and foamy mouth and skillfully guided it past the man. The wounded man hurried desperately, but his strength clearly failed him as he reached a safe spot. One of his arms suddenly gave out, and he fell, landing on his back. He lay there, breathing softly.
A moment later the small, creaking cavalcade was directly in front of the two soldiers. Another officer, riding with the skillful abandon of a cowboy, galloped his horse to a position directly before the general. The two unnoticed foot soldiers made a little show of going on, but they lingered near in the desire to overhear the conversation. Perhaps, they thought, some great inner historical things would be said.
A moment later, the small, creaking procession was right in front of the two soldiers. Another officer, riding with the carefree skill of a cowboy, galloped his horse to a spot directly in front of the general. The two unnoticed foot soldiers pretended to move on, but they hung around, hoping to hear the conversation. Maybe, they thought, something significant in history would be discussed.
The general, whom the boys knew as the commander of their division, looked at the other officer and spoke coolly, as if he were criticising his clothes. “Th’ enemy’s formin’ over there for another charge,” he said. “It’ll be directed against Whiterside, an’ I fear they’ll break through unless we work like thunder t’ stop them.”
The general, known to the boys as the commander of their division, glanced at the other officer and spoke casually, as if he were commenting on his outfit. “The enemy’s getting ready over there for another attack,” he said. “It’ll be aimed at Whiterside, and I’m worried they’ll break through unless we act fast to stop them.”
The other swore at his restive horse, and then cleared his throat. He made a gesture toward his cap. “It’ll be hell t’ pay stoppin’ them,” he said shortly.
The other cursed at his restless horse and then cleared his throat. He gestured toward his cap. “It’s going to be tough to stop them,” he said curtly.
“I presume so,” remarked the general. Then he began to talk rapidly and in a lower tone. He frequently illustrated his words with a pointing finger. The two infantrymen could hear nothing until finally he asked: “What troops can you spare?”
“I think so,” said the general. Then he started talking quickly and in a quieter voice. He often emphasized his words with a pointed finger. The two infantrymen couldn't hear anything until he finally asked, “What troops can you spare?”
The officer who rode like a cowboy reflected for an instant. “Well,” he said, “I had to order in th’ 12th to help th’ 76th, an’ I haven’t really got any. But there’s th’ 304th. They fight like a lot ’a mule drivers. I can spare them best of any.”
The officer who rode like a cowboy paused for a moment. "Well," he said, "I had to call in the 12th to support the 76th, and I don’t actually have any left. But there’s the 304th. They fight like a bunch of mule drivers. I can let them go better than anyone."
The youth and his friend exchanged glances of astonishment.
The young man and his friend exchanged looks of surprise.
The general spoke sharply. “Get ’em ready, then. I’ll watch developments from here, an’ send you word when t’ start them. It’ll happen in five minutes.”
The general spoke sharply. “Get them ready, then. I’ll keep an eye on things from here and let you know when to start them. It’ll happen in five minutes.”
As the other officer tossed his fingers toward his cap and wheeling his horse, started away, the general called out to him in a sober voice: “I don’t believe many of your mule drivers will get back.”
As the other officer gestured to his cap and turned his horse to leave, the general called out to him in a serious tone: “I don’t think many of your mule drivers will make it back.”
The other shouted something in reply. He smiled.
The other guy shouted something back. He smiled.
With scared faces, the youth and his companion hurried back to the line.
With scared looks, the young man and his friend rushed back to the line.
These happenings had occupied an incredibly short time, yet the youth felt that in them he had been made aged. New eyes were given to him. And the most startling thing was to learn suddenly that he was very insignificant. The officer spoke of the regiment as if he referred to a broom. Some part of the woods needed sweeping, perhaps, and he merely indicated a broom in a tone properly indifferent to its fate. It was war, no doubt, but it appeared strange.
These events happened in an incredibly short time, yet the young man felt they had aged him. He saw things differently now. The most shocking realization was that he was actually quite insignificant. The officer talked about the regiment as if he was referring to a broom. Maybe some part of the woods needed cleaning, and he just pointed out the broom in a tone that was completely indifferent to its fate. It was war, for sure, but it felt odd.
As the two boys approached the line, the lieutenant perceived them and swelled with wrath. “Fleming—Wilson—how long does it take yeh to git water, anyhow—where yeh been to.”
As the two boys got closer to the line, the lieutenant noticed them and filled with anger. “Fleming—Wilson—how long does it take you to get water, anyway—where have you been?”
But his oration ceased as he saw their eyes, which were large with great tales. “We’re goin’ t’ charge—we’re goin’ t’ charge!” cried the youth’s friend, hastening with his news.
But his speech stopped when he saw their eyes, which were wide with amazing stories. “We're going to charge—we're going to charge!” shouted the young man’s friend, rushing in with his news.
“Charge?” said the lieutenant. “Charge? Well, b’Gawd! Now, this is real fightin’.” Over his soiled countenance there went a boastful smile. “Charge? Well, b’Gawd!”
“Charge?” said the lieutenant. “Charge? Well, by God! Now, this is some real fighting.” A proud smile spread across his dirty face. “Charge? Well, by God!”
A little group of soldiers surrounded the two youths. “Are we, sure ’nough? Well, I’ll be derned! Charge? What fer? What at? Wilson, you’re lyin’.”
A small group of soldiers surrounded the two young men. “Are we really? Well, I’ll be damned! Charge? For what? At what? Wilson, you’re lying.”
“I hope to die,” said the youth, pitching his tones to the key of angry remonstrance. “Sure as shooting, I tell you.”
“I hope to die,” said the young man, raising his voice in angry protest. “I’m serious, I tell you.”
And his friend spoke in re-enforcement. “Not by a blame sight, he ain’t lyin’. We heard ’em talkin’.”
And his friend chimed in. “Not by a long shot, he’s not lying. We heard them talking.”
They caught sight of two mounted figures a short distance from them. One was the colonel of the regiment and the other was the officer who had received orders from the commander of the division. They were gesticulating at each other. The soldier, pointing at them, interpreted the scene.
They spotted two mounted figures not far away. One was the colonel of the regiment and the other was the officer who had gotten orders from the division commander. They were gesturing at each other. The soldier, pointing at them, explained the situation.
One man had a final objection: “How could yeh hear ’em talkin’?” But the men, for a large part, nodded, admitting that previously the two friends had spoken truth.
One man had one last objection: “How could you hear them talking?” But most of the men nodded, acknowledging that the two friends had been speaking the truth before.
They settled back into reposeful attitudes with airs of having accepted the matter. And they mused upon it, with a hundred varieties of expression. It was an engrossing thing to think about. Many tightened their belts carefully and hitched at their trousers.
They leaned back into relaxed positions, acting like they had accepted the situation. They pondered it with many different expressions. It was a captivating thing to think about. Many adjusted their belts carefully and tugged at their pants.
A moment later the officers began to bustle among the men, pushing them into a more compact mass and into a better alignment. They chased those that straggled and fumed at a few men who seemed to show by their attitudes that they had decided to remain at that spot. They were like critical shepherds, struggling with sheep.
A moment later, the officers started to move around the men, pressing them into a tighter group and better formation. They hurried after those who lagged behind and scolded a few guys who looked like they had decided to stay put. They were like frustrated shepherds dealing with sheep.
Presently, the regiment seemed to draw itself up and heave a deep breath. None of the men’s faces were mirrors of large thoughts. The soldiers were bended and stooped like sprinters before a signal. Many pairs of glinting eyes peered from the grimy faces toward the curtains of the deeper woods. They seemed to be engaged in deep calculations of time and distance.
Right now, the regiment appeared to stand taller and take a deep breath. None of the men's faces reflected big thoughts. The soldiers were bent and crouched like sprinters waiting for the signal. Many pairs of shining eyes looked out from their dirty faces towards the thick woods. They seemed to be deeply considering time and distance.
They were surrounded by the noises of the monstrous altercation between the two armies. The world was fully interested in other matters. Apparently, the regiment had its small affair to itself.
They were engulfed in the sounds of the massive clash between the two armies. Everyone else seemed focused on their own issues. It looked like the regiment had its own little drama happening.
The youth, turning, shot a quick, inquiring glance at his friend. The latter returned to him the same manner of look. They were the only ones who possessed an inner knowledge. “Mule drivers—hell t’ pay—don’t believe many will get back.” It was an ironical secret. Still, they saw no hesitation in each other’s faces, and they nodded a mute and unprotesting assent when a shaggy man near them said in a meek voice: “We’ll git swallowed.”
The young man turned and shot a quick, questioning glance at his friend. The friend returned the same kind of look. They were the only ones who shared an unspoken understanding. “Mule drivers—hell to pay—don’t think many will make it back.” It was an ironic secret. Still, they didn’t see any doubt on each other’s faces, and they silently nodded in agreement when a rough man nearby said quietly, “We’ll get swallowed.”
Chapter XIX.
The youth stared at the land in front of him. Its foliages now seemed to veil powers and horrors. He was unaware of the machinery of orders that started the charge, although from the corners of his eyes he saw an officer, who looked like a boy a-horseback, come galloping, waving his hat. Suddenly he felt a straining and heaving among the men. The line fell slowly forward like a toppling wall, and, with a convulsive gasp that was intended for a cheer, the regiment began its journey. The youth was pushed and jostled for a moment before he understood the movement at all, but directly he lunged ahead and began to run.
The young man stared at the land in front of him. Its foliage now seemed to hide powers and horrors. He didn’t realize the chain of orders that triggered the charge, although from the corners of his eyes, he saw an officer, who looked like a boy on horseback, galloping and waving his hat. Suddenly, he felt a buckling and shifting among the men. The line slowly tipped forward like a collapsing wall, and with a gasping cheer that didn’t quite come out right, the regiment started its march. The young man was pushed and jostled for a moment before he understood what was happening, but then he plunged ahead and began to run.
He fixed his eye upon a distant and prominent clump of trees where he had concluded the enemy were to be met, and he ran toward it as toward a goal. He had believed throughout that it was a mere question of getting over an unpleasant matter as quickly as possible, and he ran desperately, as if pursued for a murder. His face was drawn hard and tight with the stress of his endeavor. His eyes were fixed in a lurid glare. And with his soiled and disordered dress, his red and inflamed features surmounted by the dingy rag with its spot of blood, his wildly swinging rifle, and banging accouterments, he looked to be an insane soldier.
He focused on a distant, noticeable cluster of trees where he thought he would encounter the enemy, and he ran toward it like it was a finish line. He had always seen it as just a matter of getting through something unpleasant as quickly as possible, and he ran like he was being chased for a crime. His face was tense and strained from the effort. His eyes had a wild, feverish look. With his dirty and messy clothes, red and swollen face topped by a grimy rag with a bloodstain, his wildly swinging rifle, and clattering gear, he looked like a crazy soldier.
As the regiment swung from its position out into a cleared space the woods and thickets before it awakened. Yellow flames leaped toward it from many directions. The forest made a tremendous objection.
As the regiment moved from its position into an open area, the woods and brush in front of it came to life. Yellow flames shot up toward it from all sides. The forest roared in protest.
The line lurched straight for a moment. Then the right wing swung forward; it in turn was surpassed by the left. Afterward the center careered to the front until the regiment was a wedge-shaped mass, but an instant later the opposition of the bushes, trees, and uneven places on the ground split the command and scattered it into detached clusters.
The line surged forward for a moment. Then the right wing moved ahead; soon after, the left wing took the lead. After that, the center pushed to the front until the regiment formed a wedge-shaped mass, but just moments later, the bushes, trees, and uneven ground broke up the formation and scattered it into separate groups.
The youth, light-footed, was unconsciously in advance. His eyes still kept note of the clump of trees. From all places near it the clannish yell of the enemy could be heard. The little flames of rifles leaped from it. The song of the bullets was in the air and shells snarled among the treetops. One tumbled directly into the middle of a hurrying group and exploded in crimson fury. There was an instant spectacle of a man, almost over it, throwing up his hands to shield his eyes.
The young man, light on his feet, moved ahead without realizing it. His eyes were still fixed on the cluster of trees. From all around, the fierce shouts of the enemy could be heard. Little bursts of gunfire erupted from it. The sound of bullets filled the air as shells whistled through the treetops. One dropped right in the middle of a rushing group and exploded in a spray of red. For a moment, a man almost caught in the blast raised his hands to protect his eyes.
Other men, punched by bullets, fell in grotesque agonies. The regiment left a coherent trail of bodies.
Other men, hit by bullets, collapsed in painful contortions. The regiment left a clear path of bodies.
They had passed into a clearer atmosphere. There was an effect like a revelation in the new appearance of the landscape. Some men working madly at a battery were plain to them, and the opposing infantry’s lines were defined by the gray walls and fringes of smoke.
They had entered a clearer atmosphere. The landscape had a striking new appearance, almost like a revelation. They could see some men frantically working at a battery, and the opposing infantry's lines were marked by the gray walls and edges of smoke.
It seemed to the youth that he saw everything. Each blade of the green grass was bold and clear. He thought that he was aware of every change in the thin, transparent vapor that floated idly in sheets. The brown or gray trunks of the trees showed each roughness of their surfaces. And the men of the regiment, with their starting eyes and sweating faces, running madly, or falling, as if thrown headlong, to queer, heaped-up corpses—all were comprehended. His mind took a mechanical but firm impression, so that afterward everything was pictured and explained to him, save why he himself was there.
It felt to the young man like he could see everything. Each blade of green grass was sharp and clear. He believed he noticed every shift in the thin, transparent mist that floated lazily in sheets. The brown or gray trunks of the trees revealed every rough spot on their surfaces. And the men of the regiment, with their wide eyes and sweating faces, running frantically or collapsing, as if thrown into a pile of bodies—all of it registered with him. His mind captured a mechanical but solid impression, so that later everything was visualized and explained to him, except why he was there.
But there was a frenzy made from this furious rush. The men, pitching forward insanely, had burst into cheerings, moblike and barbaric, but tuned in strange keys that can arouse the dullard and the stoic. It made a mad enthusiasm that, it seemed, would be incapable of checking itself before granite and brass. There was the delirium that encounters despair and death, and is heedless and blind to the odds. It is a temporary but sublime absence of selfishness. And because it was of this order was the reason, perhaps, why the youth wondered, afterward, what reasons he could have had for being there.
But there was a frenzy from this wild rush. The men, charging forward crazily, erupted into cheers, like a mob and almost primal, but with an odd harmony that could ignite even the dull and unfeeling. It created a wild enthusiasm that seemed unstoppable, even by something as solid as stone or metal. There was a madness that faced despair and death, completely ignoring the risks. It was a fleeting but beautiful lack of selfishness. And because it felt this way, perhaps that’s why the young man later questioned what had drawn him there.
Presently the straining pace ate up the energies of the men. As if by agreement, the leaders began to slacken their speed. The volleys directed against them had had a seeming windlike effect. The regiment snorted and blew. Among some stolid trees it began to falter and hesitate. The men, staring intently, began to wait for some of the distant walls of smoke to move and disclose to them the scene. Since much of their strength and their breath had vanished, they returned to caution. They were become men again.
Currently, the exhausting pace drained the energy of the troops. Almost as if they had agreed, the leaders started to slow down. The gunfire aimed at them had a seemingly windy effect. The regiment huffed and puffed. Among some sturdy trees, they began to waver and hesitate. The soldiers, staring intently, started to wait for some of the distant clouds of smoke to shift and reveal the scene. Since much of their strength and breath were gone, they reverted to being cautious. They had become men again.
The youth had a vague belief that he had run miles, and he thought, in a way, that he was now in some new and unknown land.
The young man had a fuzzy sense that he had traveled for miles, and he felt, in a way, that he was now in a new and unfamiliar place.
The moment the regiment ceased its advance the protesting splutter of musketry became a steadied roar. Long and accurate fringes of smoke spread out. From the top of a small hill came level belchings of yellow flame that caused an inhuman whistling in the air.
The moment the regiment stopped moving forward, the chaotic gunfire turned into a steady roar. Long, precise streams of smoke fanned out. From the top of a small hill, bursts of yellow flame shot out, producing an eerie whistling sound in the air.
The men, halted, had opportunity to see some of their comrades dropping with moans and shrieks. A few lay under foot, still or wailing. And now for an instant the men stood, their rifles slack in their hands, and watched the regiment dwindle. They appeared dazed and stupid. This spectacle seemed to paralyze them, overcome them with a fatal fascination. They stared woodenly at the sights, and, lowering their eyes, looked from face to face. It was a strange pause, and a strange silence.
The men stopped and had a chance to see some of their comrades falling, moaning and screaming. A few lay on the ground, either still or crying out. For a moment, the men stood there, their rifles hanging loosely in their hands, watching their regiment shrink in number. They looked bewildered and numb. This scene seemed to freeze them, pulling them in with a deadly fascination. They stared blankly at their rifles, and then, lowering their eyes, they looked from one face to another. It was an odd pause, and an eerie silence.
Then, above the sounds of the outside commotion, arose the roar of the lieutenant. He strode suddenly forth, his infantile features black with rage.
Then, above the noise of the outside chaos, the lieutenant's roar cut through. He stepped forward suddenly, his youthful face twisted in anger.
“Come on, yeh fools!” he bellowed. “Come on! Yeh can’t stay here. Yeh must come on.” He said more, but much of it could not be understood.
“Come on, you fools!” he shouted. “Come on! You can’t stay here. You have to come on.” He said more, but much of it was unclear.
He started rapidly forward, with his head turned toward the men, “Come on,” he was shouting. The men stared with blank and yokel-like eyes at him. He was obliged to halt and retrace his steps. He stood then with his back to the enemy and delivered gigantic curses into the faces of the men. His body vibrated from the weight and force of his imprecations. And he could string oaths with the facility of a maiden who strings beads.
He quickly moved forward, turning his head toward the men, shouting, “Come on!” The men looked at him with blank, bewildered expressions. He had to stop and go back. With his back to the enemy, he hurled massive curses at the men. His body shook from the intensity and power of his insults. He could curse as easily as a girl strings beads.
The friend of the youth aroused. Lurching suddenly forward and dropping to his knees, he fired an angry shot at the persistent woods. This action awakened the men. They huddled no more like sheep. They seemed suddenly to bethink themselves of their weapons, and at once commenced firing. Belabored by their officers, they began to move forward. The regiment, involved like a cart involved in mud and muddle, started unevenly with many jolts and jerks. The men stopped now every few paces to fire and load, and in this manner moved slowly on from trees to trees.
The youth's friend woke up. Suddenly lurching forward and dropping to his knees, he shot angrily at the persistent woods. This action woke the others. They no longer huddled like sheep. It was as if they suddenly remembered their weapons, and they immediately started to fire. Encouraged by their officers, they began to advance. The regiment, like a cart stuck in mud, started moving unevenly with many jolts and jerks. The men paused every few steps to fire and reload, slowly making their way from tree to tree.
The flaming opposition in their front grew with their advance until it seemed that all forward ways were barred by the thin leaping tongues, and off to the right an ominous demonstration could sometimes be dimly discerned. The smoke lately generated was in confusing clouds that made it difficult for the regiment to proceed with intelligence. As he passed through each curling mass the youth wondered what would confront him on the farther side.
The blazing fire in front of them intensified as they moved forward, making it seem like all paths ahead were blocked by the flickering flames. To the right, there was a troubling sign that could sometimes be faintly seen. The smoke that had recently formed was swirling in thick clouds, making it hard for the group to move ahead sensibly. As he made his way through each twisting mass of smoke, the young man wondered what awaited him on the other side.
The command went painfully forward until an open space interposed between them and the lurid lines. Here, crouching and cowering behind some trees, the men clung with desperation, as if threatened by a wave. They looked wild-eyed, and as if amazed at this furious disturbance they had stirred. In the storm there was an ironical expression of their importance. The faces of the men, too, showed a lack of a certain feeling of responsibility for being there. It was as if they had been driven. It was the dominant animal failing to remember in the supreme moments the forceful causes of various superficial qualities. The whole affair seemed incomprehensible to many of them.
The command moved forward painfully until an open space came between them and the harsh lines. Here, crouching and hiding behind some trees, the men clung on desperately, as if they were about to be overwhelmed by a wave. They looked wide-eyed, as if shocked by the chaos they had caused. In the turmoil, there was an ironic hint of their significance. The men’s faces also reflected a lack of any sense of responsibility for being there. It was as if they had been pushed into this situation. It was the dominant instinct failing to recall, in these crucial moments, the underlying reasons for various superficial traits. The whole situation felt incomprehensible to many of them.
As they halted thus the lieutenant again began to bellow profanely. Regardless of the vindictive threats of the bullets, he went about coaxing, berating, and bedamning. His lips, that were habitually in a soft and childlike curve, were now writhed into unholy contortions. He swore by all possible deities.
As they stopped, the lieutenant started shouting curses again. Ignoring the deadly threats of the bullets, he went around pleading, scolding, and cursing. His lips, usually in a gentle and innocent curve, were now twisted into angry expressions. He cursed by all the gods he could think of.
Once he grabbed the youth by the arm. “Come on, yeh lunkhead!” he roared. “Come on! We’ll all git killed if we stay here. We’ve on’y got t’ go across that lot. An’ then”—the remainder of his idea disappeared in a blue haze of curses.
Once he grabbed the young guy by the arm. “Come on, you idiot!” he shouted. “Come on! We’ll all get killed if we stay here. We just have to go across that lot. And then”—the rest of his thought was lost in a cloud of curses.
The youth stretched forth his arm. “Cross there?” His mouth was puckered in doubt and awe.
The young man reached out his arm. “Cross over there?” His mouth twisted in uncertainty and wonder.
“Certainly. Jest ’cross th’ lot! We can’t stay here,” screamed the lieutenant. He poked his face close to the youth and waved his bandaged hand. “Come on!” Presently he grappled with him as if for a wrestling bout. It was as if he planned to drag the youth by the ear on to the assault.
“Of course. Get across the lot! We can’t stick around here,” yelled the lieutenant. He leaned in close to the young man and waved his bandaged hand. “Let’s go!” Soon, he struggled with him like they were in a wrestling match. It seemed he intended to pull the young man along by the ear into the fight.
The private felt a sudden unspeakable indignation against his officer. He wrenched fiercely and shook him off.
The private felt a sudden, unbearable anger toward his officer. He forcefully pulled away and shook him off.
“Come on yerself, then,” he yelled. There was a bitter challenge in his voice.
“Come on then,” he yelled. There was a sharp challenge in his voice.
They galloped together down the regimental front. The friend scrambled after them. In front of the colors the three men began to bawl: “Come on! come on!” They danced and gyrated like tortured savages.
They rode together down the regiment's front. The friend hurried after them. In front of the colors, the three men started shouting, "Come on! Come on!" They danced and twirled like frenzied savages.
The flag, obedient to these appeals, bended its glittering form and swept toward them. The men wavered in indecision for a moment, and then with a long, wailful cry the dilapidated regiment surged forward and began its new journey.
The flag, responding to these calls, bent its shining form and swept toward them. The men hesitated for a moment, and then with a long, mournful cry, the battered regiment surged forward and began its new journey.
Over the field went the scurrying mass. It was a handful of men splattered into the faces of the enemy. Toward it instantly sprang the yellow tongues. A vast quantity of blue smoke hung before them. A mighty banging made ears valueless.
Across the field moved the rushing crowd. It was a group of men charging at the enemy. Instantly, yellow flames leaped toward them. A thick cloud of blue smoke lingered in front of them. A deafening noise made their ears useless.
The youth ran like a madman to reach the woods before a bullet could discover him. He ducked his head low, like a football player. In his haste his eyes almost closed, and the scene was a wild blur. Pulsating saliva stood at the corners of his mouth.
The young man sprinted like crazy to get to the woods before a bullet could find him. He ducked his head down, like a football player. In his rush, his eyes nearly shut, and everything around him became a wild blur. Saliva was pooling at the corners of his mouth.
Within him, as he hurled himself forward, was born a love, a despairing fondness for this flag which was near him. It was a creation of beauty and invulnerability. It was a goddess, radiant, that bended its form with an imperious gesture to him. It was a woman, red and white, hating and loving, that called him with the voice of his hopes. Because no harm could come to it he endowed it with power. He kept near, as if it could be a saver of lives, and an imploring cry went from his mind.
Within him, as he threw himself forward, a love was born—an intense longing for the flag that was close to him. It was a creation of beauty and strength. It was a radiant goddess that beckoned to him with a commanding gesture. It was a woman, both red and white, loving and hating, calling him with the voice of his dreams. Because he believed no harm could come to it, he infused it with power. He stayed close, as if it could save lives, and a desperate cry echoed in his mind.
In the mad scramble he was aware that the color sergeant flinched suddenly, as if struck by a bludgeon. He faltered, and then became motionless, save for his quivering knees. He made a spring and a clutch at the pole. At the same instant his friend grabbed it from the other side. They jerked at it, stout and furious, but the color sergeant was dead, and the corpse would not relinquish its trust. For a moment there was a grim encounter. The dead man, swinging with bended back, seemed to be obstinately tugging, in ludicrous and awful ways, for the possession of the flag.
In the chaotic rush, he noticed that the color sergeant suddenly flinched, as if hit by a heavy blow. He hesitated, then became still, except for his trembling knees. He lunged and reached for the pole. At the same moment, his friend grabbed it from the other side. They pulled at it, determined and furious, but the color sergeant was dead, and the corpse wouldn’t let go of its duty. For a moment, they were locked in a grim struggle. The dead man, leaning forward, seemed to be stubbornly pulling in both ridiculous and horrifying ways, fighting over the flag.
It was past in an instant of time. They wrenched the flag furiously from the dead man, and, as they turned again, the corpse swayed forward with bowed head. One arm swung high, and the curved hand fell with heavy protest on the friend’s unheeding shoulder.
It was gone in the blink of an eye. They violently yanked the flag from the dead man's grasp, and as they turned back, the body leaned forward with its head down. One arm rose high, and the bent hand came down with a heavy thud on the friend’s unaware shoulder.
Chapter XX.
When the two youths turned with the flag they saw that much of the regiment had crumbled away, and the dejected remnant was coming slowly back. The men, having hurled themselves in projectile fashion, had presently expended their forces. They slowly retreated, with their faces still toward the spluttering woods, and their hot rifles still replying to the din. Several officers were giving orders, their voices keyed to screams.
When the two young men turned with the flag, they noticed that a lot of the regiment had broken apart, and the discouraged group was slowly coming back. The soldiers, having charged forward like cannonballs, had quickly used up all their energy. They slowly fell back, still facing the crackling woods, with their overheated rifles continuing to respond to the noise. Several officers were shouting orders, their voices raised to a scream.
“Where in hell yeh goin’?” the lieutenant was asking in a sarcastic howl. And a red-bearded officer, whose voice of triple brass could plainly be heard, was commanding: “Shoot into ’em! Shoot into ’em, Gawd damn their souls!” There was a melée of screeches, in which the men were ordered to do conflicting and impossible things.
“Where the hell are you going?” the lieutenant was asking in a sarcastic shout. And a red-bearded officer, whose loud voice could clearly be heard, was shouting: “Shoot at them! Shoot at them, damn their souls!” There was a melée of screams, where the men were being ordered to do conflicting and impossible things.
The youth and his friend had a small scuffle over the flag. “Give it t’ me!” “No, let me keep it!” Each felt satisfied with the other’s possession of it, but each felt bound to declare, by an offer to carry the emblem, his willingness to further risk himself. The youth roughly pushed his friend away.
The young man and his friend had a little struggle over the flag. “Give it to me!” “No, let me keep it!” They both felt good about the other having it, but each was compelled to show their willingness to take more risks by offering to carry the emblem. The young man shoved his friend aside roughly.
The regiment fell back to the stolid trees. There it halted for a moment to blaze at some dark forms that had begun to steal upon its track. Presently it resumed its march again, curving among the tree trunks. By the time the depleted regiment had again reached the first open space they were receiving a fast and merciless fire. There seemed to be mobs all about them.
The regiment fell back to the sturdy trees. It paused for a moment to fire at some shadowy figures that had started to approach them. Soon, it continued its march, weaving between the tree trunks. By the time the worn-down regiment reached the first clearing again, they were taking fast and relentless fire. It felt like there were crowds all around them.
The greater part of the men, discouraged, their spirits worn by the turmoil, acted as if stunned. They accepted the pelting of the bullets with bowed and weary heads. It was of no purpose to strive against walls. It was of no use to batter themselves against granite. And from this consciousness that they had attempted to conquer an unconquerable thing there seemed to arise a feeling that they had been betrayed. They glowered with bent brows, but dangerously, upon some of the officers, more particularly upon the red-bearded one with the voice of triple brass.
Most of the men, feeling defeated and worn out by the chaos, acted as if they were in shock. They took the onslaught of bullets with bowed heads and weary expressions. It felt pointless to fight against solid walls. It was useless to throw themselves against granite. From the realization that they had tried to overcome something unbeatable, a sense of betrayal seemed to emerge. They glared with furrowed brows, but it was a dangerous glare, directed especially at one of the officers, particularly the one with the red beard and a voice like loud brass.
However, the rear of the regiment was fringed with men, who continued to shoot irritably at the advancing foes. They seemed resolved to make every trouble. The youthful lieutenant was perhaps the last man in the disordered mass. His forgotten back was toward the enemy. He had been shot in the arm. It hung straight and rigid. Occasionally he would cease to remember it, and be about to emphasize an oath with a sweeping gesture. The multiplied pain caused him to swear with incredible power.
However, the back of the regiment was lined with men who kept shooting angrily at the approaching enemies. They seemed determined to create more chaos. The young lieutenant was probably the last person in the chaotic crowd. His back was turned to the enemy. He had been shot in the arm, which hung straight and stiff. At times, he would forget about it and almost make a dramatic gesture to emphasize an oath. The intense pain made him swear with extraordinary force.
The youth went along with slipping uncertain feet. He kept watchful eyes rearward. A scowl of mortification and rage was upon his face. He had thought of a fine revenge upon the officer who had referred to him and his fellows as mule drivers. But he saw that it could not come to pass. His dreams had collapsed when the mule drivers, dwindling rapidly, had wavered and hesitated on the little clearing, and then had recoiled. And now the retreat of the mule drivers was a march of shame to him.
The young man walked with uncertain steps, constantly glancing back. His face showed a mix of embarrassment and anger. He had imagined a great way to get back at the officer who had called him and his friends mule drivers. But he realized that wouldn’t happen. His hopes fell apart when the mule drivers, quickly fading away, hesitated in the small clearing, then turned back. Now, their retreat felt like a shameful march to him.
A dagger-pointed gaze from without his blackened face was held toward the enemy, but his greater hatred was riveted upon the man, who, not knowing him, had called him a mule driver.
A dagger-like stare from his darkened face was aimed at the enemy, but his deeper anger was focused on the man who, unaware of who he was, had called him a mule driver.
When he knew that he and his comrades had failed to do anything in successful ways that might bring the little pangs of a kind of remorse upon the officer, the youth allowed the rage of the baffled to possess him. This cold officer upon a monument, who dropped epithets unconcernedly down, would be finer as a dead man, he thought. So grievous did he think it that he could never possess the secret right to taunt truly in answer.
When he realized that he and his friends had failed to do anything effectively that might make the officer feel even a bit of remorse, the young man let his frustration take over. This cold officer on a pedestal, who casually threw insults around, would be better off dead, he thought. It troubled him so much that he believed he could never genuinely have the right to taunt him back.
He had pictured red letters of curious revenge. “We are mule drivers, are we?” And now he was compelled to throw them away.
He had imagined red letters of strange revenge. “We are mule drivers, are we?” And now he had to throw them away.
He presently wrapped his heart in the cloak of his pride and kept the flag erect. He harangued his fellows, pushing against their chests with his free hand. To those he knew well he made frantic appeals, beseeching them by name. Between him and the lieutenant, scolding and near to losing his mind with rage, there was felt a subtle fellowship and equality. They supported each other in all manner of hoarse, howling protests.
He wrapped his heart in the cloak of his pride and kept the flag flying high. He shouted at his friends, pushing against their chests with his free hand. To those he knew well, he made frantic appeals, calling them by name. Between him and the lieutenant, who was scolding and close to losing his mind with anger, there was a sense of camaraderie and equality. They backed each other up with all kinds of hoarse, howling protests.
But the regiment was a machine run down. The two men babbled at a forceless thing. The soldiers who had heart to go slowly were continually shaken in their resolves by a knowledge that comrades were slipping with speed back to the lines. It was difficult to think of reputation when others were thinking of skins. Wounded men were left crying on this black journey.
But the regiment was a worn-out machine. The two men chatted about something meaningless. The soldiers who wanted to take their time were constantly shaken in their decisions by the realization that their comrades were quickly returning to the front lines. It was hard to focus on reputation when others were worried about their own safety. Wounded men were left crying on this dark journey.
The smoke fringes and flames blustered always. The youth, peering once through a sudden rift in a cloud, saw a brown mass of troops, interwoven and magnified until they appeared to be thousands. A fierce-hued flag flashed before his vision.
The smoke and flames constantly billowed. The young man, looking through a sudden break in the clouds, saw a large group of soldiers, tangled together and appearing to be thousands. A brightly colored flag flashed before his eyes.
Immediately, as if the uplifting of the smoke had been prearranged, the discovered troops burst into a rasping yell, and a hundred flames jetted toward the retreating band. A rolling gray cloud again interposed as the regiment doggedly replied. The youth had to depend again upon his misused ears, which were trembling and buzzing from the melée of musketry and yells.
Immediately, as if the rising smoke had been planned, the discovered troops let out a harsh yell, and a hundred flames shot toward the retreating group. A rolling gray cloud again came between them as the regiment stubbornly responded. The young man had to rely once more on his battered ears, which were ringing and buzzing from the chaos of gunfire and shouts.
The way seemed eternal. In the clouded haze men became panic-stricken with the thought that the regiment had lost its path, and was proceeding in a perilous direction. Once the men who headed the wild procession turned and came pushing back against their comrades, screaming that they were being fired upon from points which they had considered to be toward their own lines. At this cry a hysterical fear and dismay beset the troops. A soldier, who heretofore had been ambitious to make the regiment into a wise little band that would proceed calmly amid the huge-appearing difficulties, suddenly sank down and buried his face in his arms with an air of bowing to a doom. From another a shrill lamentation rang out filled with profane allusions to a general. Men ran hither and thither, seeking with their eyes roads of escape. With serene regularity, as if controlled by a schedule, bullets buffed into men.
The path felt endless. In the thick haze, the men became frantic, fearing the regiment had lost its way and was heading into danger. At one point, the leaders of the chaotic group turned back and pushed against their fellow soldiers, shouting that they were being fired upon from what they thought was their own side. This triggered a wave of panic and despair among the troops. A soldier, who had previously wanted to turn the regiment into a smart little unit that could calmly face overwhelming challenges, suddenly collapsed and buried his face in his arms as if resigned to his fate. From another soldier, a high-pitched wail broke out, filled with curse-laden references to a general. Men dashed around, searching for any possible escape routes. With consistent regularity, as if following a timetable, bullets struck the men.
The youth walked stolidly into the midst of the mob, and with his flag in his hands took a stand as if he expected an attempt to push him to the ground. He unconsciously assumed the attitude of the color bearer in the fight of the preceding day. He passed over his brow a hand that trembled. His breath did not come freely. He was choking during this small wait for the crisis.
The young man walked steadily into the crowd, holding his flag and standing firm as if he anticipated an attempt to knock him down. Without realizing it, he took on the stance of the flag bearer from the fight the day before. He wiped his trembling hand across his forehead. His breathing was strained. He felt like he was choking as he waited for the moment of truth.
His friend came to him. “Well, Henry, I guess this is good-by—John.”
His friend approached him. “Well, Henry, I guess this is goodbye—John.”
“Oh, shut up, you damned fool!” replied the youth, and he would not look at the other.
“Oh, shut up, you stupid idiot!” replied the young man, and he refused to look at the other person.
The officers labored like politicians to beat the mass into a proper circle to face the menaces. The ground was uneven and torn. The men curled into depressions and fitted themselves snugly behind whatever would frustrate a bullet. The youth noted with vague surprise that the lieutenant was standing mutely with his legs far apart and his sword held in the manner of a cane. The youth wondered what had happened to his vocal organs that he no more cursed.
The officers worked hard like politicians to shape the crowd into a proper circle to face the threats. The ground was rough and damaged. The men crouched in the dips and made themselves safe behind anything that would stop a bullet. The young man noticed with slight surprise that the lieutenant was standing silently with his legs spread apart and his sword held like a cane. The young man wondered what had happened to his ability to speak since he no longer cursed.
There was something curious in this little intent pause of the lieutenant. He was like a babe which, having wept its fill, raises its eyes and fixes upon a distant toy. He was engrossed in this contemplation, and the soft under lip quivered from self-whispered words.
There was something intriguing about the lieutenant's brief pause. He resembled a baby that, after crying its heart out, lifts its gaze and focuses on a distant toy. He was absorbed in this thought, and his soft lower lip trembled from the words he quietly mouthed to himself.
Some lazy and ignorant smoke curled slowly. The men, hiding from the bullets, waited anxiously for it to lift and disclose the plight of the regiment.
Some lazy and ignorant smoke curled slowly. The men, hiding from the bullets, waited anxiously for it to lift and reveal the situation of the regiment.
The silent ranks were suddenly thrilled by the eager voice of the youthful lieutenant bawling out: “Here they come! Right onto us, b’Gawd!” His further words were lost in a roar of wicked thunder from the men’s rifles.
The silent ranks were suddenly excited by the enthusiastic voice of the young lieutenant shouting: “Here they come! Right at us, for real!” His next words were drowned out by a deafening blast from the men’s rifles.
The youth’s eyes had instantly turned in the direction indicated by the awakened and agitated lieutenant, and he had seen the haze of treachery disclosing a body of soldiers of the enemy. They were so near that he could see their features. There was a recognition as he looked at the types of faces. Also he perceived with dim amazement that their uniforms were rather gay in effect, being light gray, accented with a brilliant-hued facing. Too, the clothes seemed new.
The young man's eyes quickly turned to where the awake and agitated lieutenant was pointing, and he saw the blurry outlines of the enemy soldiers. They were close enough for him to see their faces clearly. As he looked at them, he recognized the types of faces. He also noticed with a vague surprise that their uniforms were quite bright, being light gray with a bold-colored trim. Additionally, the clothes appeared to be brand new.
These troops had apparently been going forward with caution, their rifles held in readiness, when the youthful lieutenant had discovered them and their movement had been interrupted by the volley from the blue regiment. From the moment’s glimpse, it was derived that they had been unaware of the proximity of their dark-suited foes or had mistaken the direction. Almost instantly they were shut utterly from the youth’s sight by the smoke from the energetic rifles of his companions. He strained his vision to learn the accomplishment of the volley, but the smoke hung before him.
These troops had clearly been moving forward cautiously, their rifles ready, when the young lieutenant spotted them, and their advance was interrupted by the volley from the blue regiment. From a quick glance, it was evident that they hadn’t realized how close their dark-suited enemies were or had misjudged their direction. Almost immediately, the smoke from the powerful rifles of his comrades completely blocked the youth’s view of them. He strained to see the effects of the volley, but the smoke lingered in front of him.
The two bodies of troops exchanged blows in the manner of a pair of boxers. The fast angry firings went back and forth. The men in blue were intent with the despair of their circumstances and they seized upon the revenge to be had at close range. Their thunder swelled loud and valiant. Their curving front bristled with flashes and the place resounded with the clangor of their ramrods. The youth ducked and dodged for a time and achieved a few unsatisfactory views of the enemy. There appeared to be many of them and they were replying swiftly. They seemed moving toward the blue regiment, step by step. He seated himself gloomily on the ground with his flag between his knees.
The two groups of soldiers exchanged blows like a pair of boxers. The rapid, furious firing went back and forth. The men in blue were filled with despair over their situation and seized the chance for revenge at close range. Their gunfire roared loudly and bravely. Their line was alive with flashes, and the area echoed with the noise of their ramrods. The young soldier ducked and dodged for a while, catching a few unsatisfactory glimpses of the enemy. There seemed to be a lot of them, and they were responding quickly. They appeared to be moving toward the blue regiment, step by step. He sat down gloomily on the ground with his flag between his knees.
As he noted the vicious, wolflike temper of his comrades he had a sweet thought that if the enemy was about to swallow the regimental broom as a large prisoner, it could at least have the consolation of going down with bristles forward.
As he observed the savage, wolfish nature of his comrades, he had a comforting thought: if the enemy was about to capture the regimental broom like a big prisoner, at least it could take solace in going down with its bristles facing forward.
But the blows of the antagonist began to grow more weak. Fewer bullets ripped the air, and finally, when the men slackened to learn of the fight, they could see only dark, floating smoke. The regiment lay still and gazed. Presently some chance whim came to the pestering blur, and it began to coil heavily away. The men saw a ground vacant of fighters. It would have been an empty stage if it were not for a few corpses that lay thrown and twisted into fantastic shapes upon the sward.
But the enemy's attacks started to weaken. Fewer bullets tore through the air, and finally, when the soldiers paused to assess the battle, all they could see was a thick, dark cloud of smoke. The regiment stood still and stared. Eventually, some random impulse caused the blurring smoke to start dissipating. The men saw a ground devoid of fighters. It would have seemed like an empty stage if it weren't for a few corpses sprawled and contorted into bizarre shapes on the grass.
At sight of this tableau, many of the men in blue sprang from behind their covers and made an ungainly dance of joy. Their eyes burned and a hoarse cheer of elation broke from their dry lips.
At the sight of this scene, many of the men in blue jumped up from behind their cover and awkwardly danced with joy. Their eyes shone brightly, and a rough cheer of excitement erupted from their dry lips.
It had begun to seem to them that events were trying to prove that they were impotent. These little battles had evidently endeavored to demonstrate that the men could not fight well. When on the verge of submission to these opinions, the small duel had showed them that the proportions were not impossible, and by it they had revenged themselves upon their misgivings and upon the foe.
It started to feel like everything was trying to prove that they were helpless. These little fights clearly tried to show that the men couldn't fight properly. Just when they were about to give in to that idea, the small duel revealed to them that the odds weren't impossible, and through it, they got back at their doubts and their enemy.
The impetus of enthusiasm was theirs again. They gazed about them with looks of uplifted pride, feeling new trust in the grim, always confident weapons in their hands. And they were men.
The spark of enthusiasm was back in them. They looked around with expressions of lifted pride, feeling a renewed confidence in the grim, always-reliable weapons in their hands. And they were men.
Chapter XXI.
Presently they knew that no firing threatened them. All ways seemed once more opened to them. The dusty blue lines of their friends were disclosed a short distance away. In the distance there were many colossal noises, but in all this part of the field there was a sudden stillness.
Right now, they realized that there was no danger from gunfire. All paths seemed open to them again. The dusty blue lines of their allies were visible not far away. In the background, there were many loud noises, but in this part of the field, there was an unexpected calm.
They perceived that they were free. The depleted band drew a long breath of relief and gathered itself into a bunch to complete its trip.
They realized they were free. The exhausted group let out a long sigh of relief and huddled together to finish their journey.
In this last length of journey the men began to show strange emotions. They hurried with nervous fear. Some who had been dark and unfaltering in the grimmest moments now could not conceal an anxiety that made them frantic. It was perhaps that they dreaded to be killed in insignificant ways after the times for proper military deaths had passed. Or, perhaps, they thought it would be too ironical to get killed at the portals of safety. With backward looks of perturbation, they hastened.
In this final stretch of the journey, the men started to exhibit unusual emotions. They hurried with nervous fear. Some who had been stoic and unshakeable in the toughest moments now couldn't hide an anxiety that made them act frantically. Maybe they feared dying in trivial ways after the moments for honorable military deaths had passed. Or perhaps they thought it would be too ironic to get killed right at the threshold of safety. With anxious glances behind them, they rushed forward.
As they approached their own lines there was some sarcasm exhibited on the part of a gaunt and bronzed regiment that lay resting in the shade of the trees. Questions were wafted to them.
As they got closer to their own lines, a thin and tanned regiment resting in the shade of the trees showed some sarcasm. Questions were thrown their way.
“Where th’ hell yeh been?”
“Where the hell you been?”
“What yeh comin’ back fer?”
"What are you coming back for?"
“Why didn’t yeh stay there?”
“Why didn’t you stay there?”
“Was it warm out there, sonny?”
“Was it warm out there, kid?”
“Goin’ home now, boys?”
"Heading home now, guys?"
One shouted in taunting mimicry: “Oh, mother, come quick an’ look at th’ sojers!”
One shouted in a mocking tone, “Oh, Mom, come quick and check out the soldiers!”
There was no reply from the bruised and battered regiment, save that one man made broadcast challenges to fist fights and the red-bearded officer walked rather near and glared in great swashbuckler style at a tall captain in the other regiment. But the lieutenant suppressed the man who wished to fist fight, and the tall captain, flushing at the little fanfare of the red-bearded one, was obliged to look intently at some trees.
There was no response from the injured and weary regiment, except that one soldier shouted out challenges for fistfights, while the red-bearded officer strutted nearby, glaring dramatically at a tall captain from the other regiment. However, the lieutenant stopped the soldier who wanted to fight, and the tall captain, embarrassed by the red-bearded man’s bravado, had to focus intently on some trees.
The youth’s tender flesh was deeply stung by these remarks. From under his creased brows he glowered with hate at the mockers. He meditated upon a few revenges. Still, many in the regiment hung their heads in criminal fashion, so that it came to pass that the men trudged with sudden heaviness, as if they bore upon their bended shoulders the coffin of their honor. And the youthful lieutenant, recollecting himself, began to mutter softly in black curses.
The young man's sensitive skin was deeply hurt by these comments. From beneath his furrowed brow, he glared with hatred at the mockers. He contemplated a few ways to get back at them. Still, many in the regiment hung their heads in shame, and it felt as if they were trudging along bearing the weight of their lost dignity on their shoulders. The young lieutenant, gathering his thoughts, started to softly mutter dark curses.
They turned when they arrived at their old position to regard the ground over which they had charged.
They stopped and looked back at the ground they had just charged over.
The youth in this contemplation was smitten with a large astonishment. He discovered that the distances, as compared with the brilliant measurings of his mind, were trivial and ridiculous. The stolid trees, where much had taken place, seemed incredibly near. The time, too, now that he reflected, he saw to have been short. He wondered at the number of emotions and events that had been crowded into such little spaces. Elfin thoughts must have exaggerated and enlarged everything, he said.
The young man in this thought was filled with a great amazement. He realized that the distances, when compared to the vivid measurements of his mind, felt insignificant and silly. The solid trees, where so much had happened, seemed surprisingly close. Time, too, as he reflected, appeared to have been brief. He marveled at the number of feelings and events that had been packed into such small moments. He thought that magical ideas must have distorted and magnified everything.
It seemed, then, that there was bitter justice in the speeches of the gaunt and bronzed veterans. He veiled a glance of disdain at his fellows who strewed the ground, choking with dust, red from perspiration, misty-eyed, disheveled.
It seemed, then, that there was a harsh sort of justice in the speeches of the thin, sunburned veterans. He shot a disdainful look at his companions who lay on the ground, covered in dust, sweaty, glassy-eyed, and messy.
They were gulping at their canteens, fierce to wring every mite of water from them, and they polished at their swollen and watery features with coat sleeves and bunches of grass.
They were drinking eagerly from their canteens, desperate to squeeze out every drop of water, and they wiped their swollen, watery faces with their coat sleeves and clumps of grass.
However, to the youth there was a considerable joy in musing upon his performances during the charge. He had had very little time previously in which to appreciate himself, so that there was now much satisfaction in quietly thinking of his actions. He recalled bits of color that in the flurry had stamped themselves unawares upon his engaged senses.
However, for the young people, there was a great joy in reflecting on his performances during the charge. He had had very little time before to appreciate himself, so now there was a lot of satisfaction in quietly thinking about his actions. He remembered flashes of color that, amidst the chaos, had imprinted themselves on his engaged senses without him realizing it.
As the regiment lay heaving from its hot exertions the officer who had named them as mule drivers came galloping along the line. He had lost his cap. His tousled hair streamed wildly, and his face was dark with vexation and wrath. His temper was displayed with more clearness by the way in which he managed his horse. He jerked and wrenched savagely at his bridle, stopping the hard-breathing animal with a furious pull near the colonel of the regiment. He immediately exploded in reproaches which came unbidden to the ears of the men. They were suddenly alert, being always curious about black words between officers.
As the regiment lay panting from their exertions in the heat, the officer who had dubbed them mule drivers came galloping along the line. He had lost his cap. His messy hair whipped around wildly, and his face was dark with frustration and anger. His mood was clear in how he handled his horse. He yanked and pulled roughly at the reins, bringing the struggling animal to a halt with a fierce tug next to the colonel of the regiment. He immediately let loose a torrent of insults that reached the ears of the men uninvited. They all perked up, always eager to hear heated exchanges between officers.
“Oh, thunder, MacChesnay, what an awful bull you made of this thing!” began the officer. He attempted low tones, but his indignation caused certain of the men to learn the sense of his words. “What an awful mess you made! Good Lord, man, you stopped about a hundred feet this side of a very pretty success! If your men had gone a hundred feet farther you would have made a great charge, but as it is—what a lot of mud diggers you’ve got anyway!”
“Oh, come on, MacChesnay, what a terrible mess you made of this!” the officer started. He tried to keep his voice down, but his anger made some of the men catch what he was saying. “What a disaster! Good grief, man, you stopped about a hundred feet short of a really great success! If your men had gone just a bit farther, you would have had a fantastic charge, but as it stands—what a bunch of losers you’ve got!”
The men, listening with bated breath, now turned their curious eyes upon the colonel. They had a ragamuffin interest in this affair.
The men, listening intently, now turned their curious eyes to the colonel. They had a scrappy interest in this situation.
The colonel was seen to straighten his form and put one hand forth in oratorical fashion. He wore an injured air; it was as if a deacon had been accused of stealing. The men were wiggling in an ecstasy of excitement.
The colonel straightened up and extended one hand in a dramatic gesture. He looked offended; it was like a church leader being accused of theft. The men were squirming with excitement.
But of a sudden the colonel’s manner changed from that of a deacon to that of a Frenchman. He shrugged his shoulders. “Oh, well, general, we went as far as we could,” he said calmly.
But suddenly the colonel’s attitude shifted from that of a deacon to that of a Frenchman. He shrugged his shoulders. “Oh, well, general, we went as far as we could,” he said calmly.
“As far as you could? Did you, b’Gawd?” snorted the other. “Well, that wasn’t very far, was it?” he added, with a glance of cold contempt into the other’s eyes. “Not very far, I think. You were intended to make a diversion in favor of Whiterside. How well you succeeded your own ears can now tell you.” He wheeled his horse and rode stiffly away.
“As far as you could? Really, wow?” snorted the other. “Well, that wasn’t very far, was it?” he added, with a look of cold contempt in the other’s eyes. “Not very far, I think. You were supposed to create a distraction for Whiterside. How well you succeeded, your own ears can now tell you.” He turned his horse and rode away stiffly.
The colonel, bidden to hear the jarring noises of an engagement in the woods to the left, broke out in vague damnations.
The colonel, asked to listen to the disturbing sounds of a fight in the woods to the left, muttered some vague curses.
The lieutenant, who had listened with an air of impotent rage to the interview, spoke suddenly in firm and undaunted tones. “I don’t care what a man is—whether he is a general or what—if he says th’ boys didn’t put up a good fight out there he’s a damned fool.”
The lieutenant, who had listened with a feeling of helpless anger to the interview, suddenly spoke in a strong and fearless voice. “I don’t care what a man is—whether he’s a general or whatever—if he says the guys didn’t put up a good fight out there, he’s a damn fool.”
“Lieutenant,” began the colonel, severely, “this is my own affair, and I’ll trouble you—”
“Lieutenant,” the colonel started, sternly, “this is my personal matter, and I’d appreciate it if you would—”
The lieutenant made an obedient gesture. “All right, colonel, all right,” he said. He sat down with an air of being content with himself.
The lieutenant nodded respectfully. “Okay, colonel, okay,” he said. He sat down, looking pleased with himself.
The news that the regiment had been reproached went along the line. For a time the men were bewildered by it. “Good thunder!” they ejaculated, staring at the vanishing form of the general. They conceived it to be a huge mistake.
The news that the regiment had been criticized spread quickly. For a while, the men were confused by it. “Wow!” they exclaimed, watching the general disappear. They thought it was a big mistake.
Presently, however, they began to believe that in truth their efforts had been called light. The youth could see this conviction weigh upon the entire regiment until the men were like cuffed and cursed animals, but withal rebellious.
Currently, though, they started to feel that their efforts had actually been disregarded. The young man could see this belief burden the whole regiment until the soldiers were like beaten and cursed animals, yet still defiant.
The friend, with a grievance in his eye, went to the youth. “I wonder what he does want,” he said. “He must think we went out there an’ played marbles! I never see sech a man!”
The friend, with a complaint in his eye, approached the young man. “I wonder what he really wants,” he said. “He must think we went out there and played marbles! I've never seen such a guy!”
The youth developed a tranquil philosophy for these moments of irritation. “Oh, well,” he rejoined, “he probably didn’t see nothing of it at all and got mad as blazes, and concluded we were a lot of sheep, just because we didn’t do what he wanted done. It’s a pity old Grandpa Henderson got killed yestirday—he’d have known that we did our best and fought good. It’s just our awful luck, that’s what.”
The young man came up with a calm mindset for these frustrating moments. “Oh, well,” he replied, “he probably didn’t see any of it at all and got super mad, thinking we were clueless, just because we didn’t do what he wanted. It’s a shame old Grandpa Henderson died yesterday—he would have understood that we did our best and fought hard. It’s just our terrible luck, that’s all.”
“I should say so,” replied the friend. He seemed to be deeply wounded at an injustice. “I should say we did have awful luck! There’s no fun in fightin’ fer people when everything yeh do—no matter what—ain’t done right. I have a notion t’ stay behind next time an’ let ’em take their ol’ charge an’ go t’ th’ devil with it.”
“I would say so,” replied the friend. He seemed to be genuinely hurt by the unfairness. “I would say we had really bad luck! There’s no point in fighting for people when everything you do—no matter what—just doesn’t go right. I think I might stay back next time and let them take their old responsibility and go to hell with it.”
The youth spoke soothingly to his comrade. “Well, we both did good. I’d like to see the fool what’d say we both didn’t do as good as we could!”
The young man spoke calmly to his friend. “Well, we both did great. I’d like to see the idiot who would say we didn’t do our best!”
“Of course we did,” declared the friend stoutly. “An’ I’d break th’ feller’s neck if he was as big as a church. But we’re all right, anyhow, for I heard one feller say that we two fit th’ best in th’ reg’ment, an’ they had a great argument ’bout it. Another feller, ’a course, he had t’ up an’ say it was a lie—he seen all what was goin’ on an’ he never seen us from th’ beginnin’ t’ th’ end. An’ a lot more stuck in an’ ses it wasn’t a lie—we did fight like thunder, an’ they give us quite a sendoff. But this is what I can’t stand—these everlastin’ ol’ soldiers, titterin’ an’ laughin’, an then that general, he’s crazy.”
“Of course we did,” the friend said confidently. “And I’d break that guy’s neck if he were as big as a church. But we’re fine anyway, because I heard one guy say that we two fought the best in the regiment, and they had a big argument about it. Another guy, of course, had to chime in and say it was a lie—he saw everything that was happening and he never saw us from the beginning to the end. And a lot more people joined in and said it wasn’t a lie—we did fight like crazy, and they gave us quite a send-off. But this is what I can’t stand—these never-ending old soldiers, snickering and laughing, and then that general, he’s nuts.”
The youth exclaimed with sudden exasperation: “He’s a lunkhead! He makes me mad. I wish he’d come along next time. We’d show ’im what—”
The kid shouted in frustration, “He’s such a fool! He drives me crazy. I really hope he comes along next time. We’ll show him what—”
He ceased because several men had come hurrying up. Their faces expressed a bringing of great news.
He stopped because several men had come rushing up. Their faces showed they had important news.
“O Flem, yeh jest oughta heard!” cried one, eagerly.
“O Flem, you just should have heard!” cried one, eagerly.
“Heard what?” said the youth.
"Heard what?" said the guy.
“Yeh jest oughta heard!” repeated the other, and he arranged himself to tell his tidings. The others made an excited circle. “Well, sir, th’ colonel met your lieutenant right by us—it was damnedest thing I ever heard—an’ he ses: ‘Ahem! ahem!’ he ses. ‘Mr. Hasbrouck!’ he ses, ‘by th’ way, who was that lad what carried th’ flag?’ he ses. There, Flemin’, what d’ yeh think ’a that? ‘Who was th’ lad what carried th’ flag?’ he ses, an’ th’ lieutenant, he speaks up right away: ‘That’s Flemin’, an’ he’s a jimhickey,’ he ses, right away. What? I say he did. ‘A jimhickey,’ he ses—those ’r his words. He did, too. I say he did. If you kin tell this story better than I kin, go ahead an’ tell it. Well, then, keep yer mouth shet. Th’ lieutenant, he ses: ‘He’s a jimhickey,’ and th’ colonel, he ses: ‘Ahem! ahem! he is, indeed, a very good man t’ have, ahem! He kep’ th’ flag ’way t’ th’ front. I saw ’im. He’s a good un,’ ses th’ colonel. ‘You bet,’ ses th’ lieutenant, ‘he an’ a feller named Wilson was at th’ head ’a th’ charge, an’ howlin’ like Indians all th’ time,’ he ses. ‘Head ’a th’ charge all th’ time,’ he ses. ‘A feller named Wilson,’ he ses. There, Wilson, m’boy, put that in a letter an’ send it hum t’ yer mother, hay? ‘A feller named Wilson,’ he ses. An’ th’ colonel, he ses: ‘Were they, indeed? Ahem! ahem! My sakes!’ he ses. ‘At th’ head ’a th’ reg’ment?’ he ses. ‘They were,’ ses th’ lieutenant. ‘My sakes!’ ses th’ colonel. He ses: ‘Well, well, well,’ he ses. ‘They deserve t’ be major-generals.’”
“Y’all should've heard this!” the other guy repeated, getting ready to share his news. The others gathered around excitedly. “So, the colonel ran into your lieutenant right near us—it was the craziest thing I ever heard—and he says: ‘Ahem! ahem!’ He says, ‘Mr. Hasbrouck! By the way, who was that kid who carried the flag?’ So, what do you think about that, Flemin’? ‘Who was the kid who carried the flag?’ he says, and the lieutenant immediately speaks up: ‘That’s Flemin’, and he’s a real character,’ he says, right away. What? I tell you he did. ‘A real character,’ he says—those were his words. He really did. If you can tell this story better than I can, go ahead. Well, then, keep your mouth shut. The lieutenant says: ‘He’s a real character,’ and the colonel says: ‘Ahem! ahem! he is indeed a very good man to have, ahem! He kept the flag way up front. I saw him. He’s a good one,’ says the colonel. ‘You bet,’ says the lieutenant, ‘he and a guy named Wilson were at the front of the charge, shouting like crazy the whole time,’ he says. ‘At the front of the charge the whole time,’ he says. ‘A guy named Wilson,’ he says. There, Wilson, buddy, write that in a letter and send it home to your mother, okay? ‘A guy named Wilson,’ he says. And the colonel says: ‘Were they, really? Ahem! ahem! My goodness!’ he says. ‘At the front of the regiment?’ he says. ‘They were,’ says the lieutenant. ‘My goodness!’ says the colonel. He says: ‘Well, well, well,’ he says. ‘They deserve to be major generals.’”
The youth and his friend had said: “Huh!” “Yer lyin’ Thompson.” “Oh, go t’ blazes!” “He never sed it.” “Oh, what a lie!” “Huh!” But despite these youthful scoffings and embarrassments, they knew that their faces were deeply flushing from thrills of pleasure. They exchanged a secret glance of joy and congratulation.
The young man and his friend had said: “Huh!” “You’re lying, Thompson.” “Oh, go to hell!” “He never said it.” “Oh, what a lie!” “Huh!” But despite their teasing and awkwardness, they knew their faces were turning red from excitement. They shared a secret look of joy and congratulations.
They speedily forgot many things. The past held no pictures of error and disappointment. They were very happy, and their hearts swelled with grateful affection for the colonel and the youthful lieutenant.
They quickly forgot a lot of things. The past didn't have any memories of mistakes and disappointment. They were really happy, and their hearts were full of gratitude for the colonel and the young lieutenant.
Chapter XXII.
When the woods again began to pour forth the dark-hued masses of the enemy the youth felt serene self-confidence. He smiled briefly when he saw men dodge and duck at the long screechings of shells that were thrown in giant handfuls over them. He stood, erect and tranquil, watching the attack begin against a part of the line that made a blue curve along the side of an adjacent hill. His vision being unmolested by smoke from the rifles of his companions, he had opportunities to see parts of the hard fight. It was a relief to perceive at last from whence came some of these noises which had been roared into his ears.
When the woods started to unleash the dark masses of the enemy again, the young man felt a calm confidence. He smiled briefly as he watched men dodge and duck from the loud screeches of shells that rained down on them. He stood tall and composed, observing the attack begin against a part of the line that curved blue along the hillside. With no smoke from his friends' rifles obstructing his view, he had the chance to see parts of the fierce battle. It was a relief to finally identify the source of some of the sounds that had been deafening him.
Off a short way he saw two regiments fighting a little separate battle with two other regiments. It was in a cleared space, wearing a set-apart look. They were blazing as if upon a wager, giving and taking tremendous blows. The firings were incredibly fierce and rapid. These intent regiments apparently were oblivious of all larger purposes of war, and were slugging each other as if at a matched game.
Not too far away, he noticed two regiments engaged in a small battle against two other regiments. It was in a cleared area that seemed isolated. They were fighting hard, exchanging powerful blows. The gunfire was intense and fast-paced. These focused regiments seemed completely unaware of the bigger goals of the war and were just going at each other like it was a match.
In another direction he saw a magnificent brigade going with the evident intention of driving the enemy from a wood. They passed in out of sight and presently there was a most awe-inspiring racket in the wood. The noise was unspeakable. Having stirred this prodigious uproar, and, apparently, finding it too prodigious, the brigade, after a little time, came marching airily out again with its fine formation in nowise disturbed. There were no traces of speed in its movements. The brigade was jaunty and seemed to point a proud thumb at the yelling wood.
In another direction, he saw an impressive brigade clearly aiming to drive the enemy out of a forest. They disappeared from view, and soon there was a terrifying racket coming from the woods. The noise was overwhelming. After creating this enormous uproar, and seemingly finding it too much, the brigade soon marched back out, maintaining their neat formation without any signs of being flustered. Their movements were calm and collected. The brigade looked confident and seemed to proudly gesture at the chaotic woods.
On a slope to the left there was a long row of guns, gruff and maddened, denouncing the enemy, who, down through the woods, were forming for another attack in the pitiless monotony of conflicts. The round red discharges from the guns made a crimson flare and a high, thick smoke. Occasional glimpses could be caught of groups of the toiling artillerymen. In the rear of this row of guns stood a house, calm and white, amid bursting shells. A congregation of horses, tied to a long railing, were tugging frenziedly at their bridles. Men were running hither and thither.
On a slope to the left, there was a long line of guns, rough and angry, blasting away at the enemy, who were gathering in the woods for another attack in the relentless routine of battles. The bright red flashes from the guns created a crimson glow and thick clouds of smoke. Occasionally, you could catch sight of groups of the hardworking artillerymen. Behind this row of guns stood a calm, white house, surrounded by exploding shells. A group of horses, tied to a long railing, were frantically pulling at their reins. Men were running back and forth everywhere.
The detached battle between the four regiments lasted for some time. There chanced to be no interference, and they settled their dispute by themselves. They struck savagely and powerfully at each other for a period of minutes, and then the lighter-hued regiments faltered and drew back, leaving the dark-blue lines shouting. The youth could see the two flags shaking with laughter amid the smoke remnants.
The fierce fight between the four regiments went on for a while. There was no outside interference, so they resolved their conflict on their own. They attacked each other fiercely and with great strength for several minutes, but then the lighter-colored regiments hesitated and pulled back, leaving the dark-blue lines cheering. The young man could see the two flags shaking with excitement amidst the lingering smoke.
Presently there was a stillness, pregnant with meaning. The blue lines shifted and changed a trifle and stared expectantly at the silent woods and fields before them. The hush was solemn and churchlike, save for a distant battery that, evidently unable to remain quiet, sent a faint rolling thunder over the ground. It irritated, like the noises of unimpressed boys. The men imagined that it would prevent their perched ears from hearing the first words of the new battle.
Right now, there was a quietness filled with significance. The blue lines moved slightly and awaited, looking expectantly at the silent woods and fields ahead. The stillness felt serious and almost reverent, except for the distant sound of artillery that, clearly unable to keep quiet, rolled softly over the ground like faint thunder. It was annoying, like the noises made by bored boys. The men thought it would keep them from hearing the first words of the new battle.
Of a sudden the guns on the slope roared out a message of warning. A spluttering sound had begun in the woods. It swelled with amazing speed to a profound clamor that involved the earth in noises. The splitting crashes swept along the lines until an interminable roar was developed. To those in the midst of it it became a din fitted to the universe. It was the whirring and thumping of gigantic machinery, complications among the smaller stars. The youth’s ears were filled cups. They were incapable of hearing more.
Suddenly, the guns on the hillside erupted with a warning. A sputtering noise had started in the woods. It quickly grew into a deep, overwhelming sound that engulfed the earth in chaos. The loud crashes echoed along the lines until it turned into a never-ending roar. For those caught in the middle of it, it became a cacophony that seemed to resonate with the universe. It was the whirring and pounding of massive machines, like the turmoil among the smaller stars. The young man's ears felt like full cups. He couldn't take in any more sound.
On an incline over which a road wound he saw wild and desperate rushes of men perpetually backward and forward in riotous surges. These parts of the opposing armies were two long waves that pitched upon each other madly at dictated points. To and fro they swelled. Sometimes, one side by its yells and cheers would proclaim decisive blows, but a moment later the other side would be all yells and cheers. Once the youth saw a spray of light forms go in houndlike leaps toward the waving blue lines. There was much howling, and presently it went away with a vast mouthful of prisoners. Again, he saw a blue wave dash with such thunderous force against a gray obstruction that it seemed to clear the earth of it and leave nothing but trampled sod. And always in their swift and deadly rushes to and fro the men screamed and yelled like maniacs.
On a slope where the road twisted, he saw wild and frantic waves of men constantly rushing back and forth in chaotic surges. Parts of the opposing armies were like two long waves crashing into each other violently at specific points. They ebbed and flowed. Sometimes, one side would erupt with cheers and shouts, claiming decisive victories, but just a moment later, the other side would respond with their own cheers and shouts. Once, the young man saw a group of light forms leap forward like hounds toward the waving blue lines. There was a lot of howling, and soon they left with a huge number of captured prisoners. Again, he witnessed a blue wave surge with such incredible force against a gray barrier that it seemed to wipe it off the ground, leaving nothing but trampled earth. Through all their rapid and deadly movements back and forth, the men screamed and yelled like they were out of their minds.
Particular pieces of fence or secure positions behind collections of trees were wrangled over, as gold thrones or pearl bedsteads. There were desperate lunges at these chosen spots seemingly every instant, and most of them were bandied like light toys between the contending forces. The youth could not tell from the battle flags flying like crimson foam in many directions which color of cloth was winning.
Specific sections of the fence or secure spots behind groups of trees were fiercely contested, like gold thrones or pearl beds. There were constant, frantic attempts to claim these favored spots, and most of them were tossed around like light toys among the opposing sides. The young man couldn’t tell from the battle flags waving like red foam in every direction which color of cloth was winning.
His emaciated regiment bustled forth with undiminished fierceness when its time came. When assaulted again by bullets, the men burst out in a barbaric cry of rage and pain. They bent their heads in aims of intent hatred behind the projected hammers of their guns. Their ramrods clanged loud with fury as their eager arms pounded the cartridges into the rifle barrels. The front of the regiment was a smoke-wall penetrated by the flashing points of yellow and red.
His thin regiment surged forward with full intensity when their moment arrived. When hit again by gunfire, the men let out a primal scream of anger and agony. They lowered their heads in focused hatred behind the pointed guns. Their ramrods clanged loudly with rage as their eager arms loaded the cartridges into the rifle barrels. The front of the regiment was a wall of smoke punctuated by flashes of yellow and red.
Wallowing in the fight, they were in an astonishingly short time resmudged. They surpassed in stain and dirt all their previous appearances. Moving to and fro with strained exertion, jabbering all the while, they were, with their swaying bodies, black faces, and glowing eyes, like strange and ugly fiends jigging heavily in the smoke.
Wallowing in the struggle, they quickly became filthy. They were dirtier and more stained than ever before. As they moved back and forth with intense effort, chattering the whole time, their swaying bodies, darkened faces, and bright eyes resembled strange and ugly creatures dancing heavily in the smoke.
The lieutenant, returning from a tour after a bandage, produced from a hidden receptacle of his mind new and portentous oaths suited to the emergency. Strings of expletives he swung lashlike over the backs of his men, and it was evident that his previous efforts had in nowise impaired his resources.
The lieutenant, coming back from a tour after a bandage, pulled out from a hidden part of his mind new and serious oaths that fit the situation. He lashed out strings of expletives over his men, and it was clear that his earlier challenges hadn't weakened his ability to rally them.
The youth, still the bearer of the colors, did not feel his idleness. He was deeply absorbed as a spectator. The crash and swing of the great drama made him lean forward, intent-eyed, his face working in small contortions. Sometimes he prattled, words coming unconsciously from him in grotesque exclamations. He did not know that he breathed; that the flag hung silently over him, so absorbed was he.
The young man, still holding the flag, didn't notice his inactivity. He was completely caught up as a spectator. The chaos and movement of the intense drama drew him in, making him lean forward with focused eyes, his face shifting in small grimaces. At times he babbled, words spilling out of him in silly exclamations. He didn't even realize he was breathing or that the flag was hanging silently above him; he was so absorbed.
A formidable line of the enemy came within dangerous range. They could be seen plainly—tall, gaunt men with excited faces running with long strides toward a wandering fence.
A strong line of the enemy came within a dangerous distance. They were clearly visible—tall, thin men with eager faces running with long strides toward a loose fence.
At sight of this danger the men suddenly ceased their cursing monotone. There was an instant of strained silence before they threw up their rifles and fired a plumping volley at the foes. There had been no order given; the men, upon recognizing the menace, had immediately let drive their flock of bullets without waiting for word of command.
At the sight of this danger, the men abruptly stopped their angry mumbling. There was a tense moment of silence before they raised their rifles and fired a heavy volley at the enemies. No order had been given; the men, realizing the threat, immediately unleashed their bullets without waiting for a command.
But the enemy were quick to gain the protection of the wandering line of fence. They slid down behind it with remarkable celerity, and from this position they began briskly to slice up the blue men.
But the enemy quickly sought shelter behind the moving fence line. They slipped down behind it with impressive speed, and from that position, they started slicing up the blue men.
These latter braced their energies for a great struggle. Often, white clinched teeth shone from the dusky faces. Many heads surged to and fro, floating upon a pale sea of smoke. Those behind the fence frequently shouted and yelped in taunts and gibelike cries, but the regiment maintained a stressed silence. Perhaps, at this new assault the men recalled the fact that they had been named mud diggers, and it made their situation thrice bitter. They were breathlessly intent upon keeping the ground and thrusting away the rejoicing body of the enemy. They fought swiftly and with a despairing savageness denoted in their expressions.
These later fighters gathered their strength for a major struggle. Often, white clenched teeth flashed out from their dark faces. Many heads moved back and forth, bobbing in a pale sea of smoke. Those behind the fence frequently shouted and yelled with taunts and mocking cries, but the regiment kept a tense silence. Perhaps, during this new attack, the men remembered they had been called mud diggers, making their situation feel even more bitter. They were intensely focused on holding their ground and pushing back the celebrating enemy. They fought quickly and with a desperate ferocity reflected in their expressions.
The youth had resolved not to budge whatever should happen. Some arrows of scorn that had buried themselves in his heart had generated strange and unspeakable hatred. It was clear to him that his final and absolute revenge was to be achieved by his dead body lying, torn and gluttering, upon the field. This was to be a poignant retaliation upon the officer who had said “mule drivers,” and later “mud diggers,” for in all the wild graspings of his mind for a unit responsible for his sufferings and commotions he always seized upon the man who had dubbed him wrongly. And it was his idea, vaguely formulated, that his corpse would be for those eyes a great and salt reproach.
The young man had decided he wouldn’t move no matter what happened. Some arrows of contempt that had struck deep into his heart had created a strange and intense hatred. He was certain that his ultimate revenge would be to have his lifeless body lying, torn and bloodied, on the battlefield. This would be a powerful act of revenge against the officer who referred to him as “mule drivers,” and later “mud diggers,” for in all the chaotic thoughts racing through his mind, he always fixated on the man who had wrongfully labeled him. He vaguely envisioned that his dead body would serve as a strong and bitter reproach to those who had insulted him.
The regiment bled extravagantly. Grunting bundles of blue began to drop. The orderly sergeant of the youth’s company was shot through the cheeks. Its supports being injured, his jaw hung afar down, disclosing in the wide cavern of his mouth a pulsing mass of blood and teeth. And with it all he made attempts to cry out. In his endeavor there was a dreadful earnestness, as if he conceived that one great shriek would make him well.
The regiment was losing men in large numbers. Groaning soldiers in blue started to collapse. The sergeant of the young soldiers was shot through the cheeks. With his face injured, his jaw hung open, revealing a gaping mouth filled with blood and teeth. Despite this, he tried to call out. There was a terrifying seriousness in his attempts, as if he thought that one loud scream would somehow save him.
The youth saw him presently go rearward. His strength seemed in nowise impaired. He ran swiftly, casting wild glances for succor.
The young man saw him head back right away. His strength didn’t seem to be affected at all. He ran quickly, glancing around wildly for help.
Others fell down about the feet of their companions. Some of the wounded crawled out and away, but many lay still, their bodies twisted into impossible shapes.
Others collapsed at the feet of their friends. Some of the injured crawled away, but many remained still, their bodies contorted into unnatural positions.
The youth looked once for his friend. He saw a vehement young man, powder-smeared and frowzled, whom he knew to be him. The lieutenant, also, was unscathed in his position at the rear. He had continued to curse, but it was now with the air of a man who was using his last box of oaths.
The young man glanced over for his friend. He noticed a passionate guy, covered in powder and looking disheveled, whom he recognized as him. The lieutenant was also unharmed in his spot at the back. He kept swearing, but it felt like a guy who was running out of curses.
For the fire of the regiment had begun to wane and drip. The robust voice, that had come strangely from the thin ranks, was growing rapidly weak.
For the regiment's fire had started to fade and sputter. The strong voice, which had oddly come from the thin lines, was quickly becoming weak.
Chapter XXIII.
The colonel came running along the back of the line. There were other officers following him. “We must charge ’m!” they shouted. “We must charge ’m!” they cried with resentful voices, as if anticipating a rebellion against this plan by the men.
The colonel came running down the back of the line. Other officers were following him. “We need to charge them!” they shouted. “We must charge them!” they cried with angry voices, as if expecting the men to rebel against this plan.
The youth, upon hearing the shouts, began to study the distance between him and the enemy. He made vague calculations. He saw that to be firm soldiers they must go forward. It would be death to stay in the present place, and with all the circumstances to go backward would exalt too many others. Their hope was to push the galling foes away from the fence.
The young man, hearing the shouts, started to assess the distance between himself and the enemy. He made rough calculations. He realized that to be effective soldiers, they needed to advance. Staying where they were would be fatal, and retreating would only elevate too many others. Their goal was to drive the annoying foes away from the fence.
He expected that his companions, weary and stiffened, would have to be driven to this assault, but as he turned toward them he perceived with a certain surprise that they were giving quick and unqualified expressions of assent. There was an ominous, clanging overture to the charge when the shafts of the bayonets rattled upon the rifle barrels. At the yelled words of command the soldiers sprang forward in eager leaps. There was new and unexpected force in the movement of the regiment. A knowledge of its faded and jaded condition made the charge appear like a paroxysm, a display of the strength that comes before a final feebleness. The men scampered in insane fever of haste, racing as if to achieve a sudden success before an exhilarating fluid should leave them. It was a blind and despairing rush by the collection of men in dusty and tattered blue, over a green sward and under a sapphire sky, toward a fence, dimly outlined in smoke, from behind which sputtered the fierce rifles of enemies.
He thought that his teammates, tired and stiff, would need to be pushed to charge, but when he looked at them, he was surprised to see they were quickly and wholeheartedly agreeing. There was a threatening, loud sound as the bayonets clanged against the rifle barrels. At the shouted commands, the soldiers jumped forward eagerly. There was a new and unexpected energy in the regiment’s movement. Knowing their worn-out state made the charge seem like a last burst of strength before they became weak. The men rushed forward in a frenzy, as if trying to achieve a quick victory before they ran out of adrenaline. It was a chaotic and desperate sprint by a group of men in dusty, tattered blue, across a green field and under a bright blue sky, towards a fence vaguely visible in the smoke, behind which the fierce enemy rifles fired.
The youth kept the bright colors to the front. He was waving his free arm in furious circles, the while shrieking mad calls and appeals, urging on those that did not need to be urged, for it seemed that the mob of blue men hurling themselves on the dangerous group of rifles were again grown suddenly wild with an enthusiasm of unselfishness. From the many firings starting toward them, it looked as if they would merely succeed in making a great sprinkling of corpses on the grass between their former position and the fence. But they were in a state of frenzy, perhaps because of forgotten vanities, and it made an exhibition of sublime recklessness. There was no obvious questioning, nor figurings, nor diagrams. There was, apparently, no considered loopholes. It appeared that the swift wings of their desires would have shattered against the iron gates of the impossible.
The young man kept the bright colors in front. He was waving his free arm wildly, shouting frantic calls and appeals, encouraging those who didn’t need to be urged on, as the mob of blue men charged at the dangerous line of rifles, suddenly filled with a wild enthusiasm for selflessness. From the numerous gunshots aimed at them, it seemed they would only end up creating a gruesome pile of bodies on the grass between their former position and the fence. But they were in a frenzy, perhaps driven by forgotten pride, showcasing a kind of reckless bravery. There were no apparent doubts, calculations, or plans. There seemed to be no thought given to escape routes. It looked like the swift rush of their desires was about to crash against the solid walls of impossibility.
He himself felt the daring spirit of a savage, religion-mad. He was capable of profound sacrifices, a tremendous death. He had no time for dissections, but he knew that he thought of the bullets only as things that could prevent him from reaching the place of his endeavor. There were subtle flashings of joy within him that thus should be his mind.
He felt the bold spirit of a wild person, obsessed with faith. He was capable of profound sacrifices and a heroic death. He didn't bother with dissection, but he understood that he regarded the bullets merely as obstacles to reaching his goal. There were subtle sparks of joy within him that reflected the state of his mind.
He strained all his strength. His eyesight was shaken and dazzled by the tension of thought and muscle. He did not see anything excepting the mist of smoke gashed by the little knives of fire, but he knew that in it lay the aged fence of a vanished farmer protecting the snuggled bodies of the gray men.
He pushed himself to the limit. His vision was blurred and dazzled by the strain of his mind and body. He couldn’t see anything except the haze of smoke cut through by flickers of flame, but he knew that within it was the old fence of a long-gone farmer shielding the cozy bodies of the gray men.
As he ran a thought of the shock of contact gleamed in his mind. He expected a great concussion when the two bodies of troops crashed together. This became a part of his wild battle madness. He could feel the onward swing of the regiment about him and he conceived of a thunderous, crushing blow that would prostrate the resistance and spread consternation and amazement for miles. The flying regiment was going to have a catapultian effect. This dream made him run faster among his comrades, who were giving vent to hoarse and frantic cheers.
As he ran, the thought of the impact flashed in his mind. He anticipated a huge collision when the two groups of soldiers collided. This added to his frenzied battle excitement. He could feel the advancing movement of the regiment around him, and he imagined a massive, overwhelming force that would crush the enemy and spread panic and shock for miles. The charging regiment was going to have a powerful impact. This vision made him run faster among his fellow soldiers, who were shouting hoarse and frantic cheers.
But presently he could see that many of the men in gray did not intend to abide the blow. The smoke, rolling, disclosed men who ran, their faces still turned. These grew to a crowd, who retired stubbornly. Individuals wheeled frequently to send a bullet at the blue wave.
But right now he could see that many of the men in gray didn't plan to take the hit. The smoke, rolling in, revealed men who were running, their faces still looking back. They grew into a crowd that retreated stubbornly. Individuals often turned around to fire a shot at the blue wave.
But at one part of the line there was a grim and obdurate group that made no movement. They were settled firmly down behind posts and rails. A flag, ruffled and fierce, waved over them and their rifles dinned fiercely.
But at one part of the line, there was a serious and stubborn group that didn't move at all. They were firmly positioned behind posts and rails. A tattered and fierce flag waved above them, and their rifles made a loud clattering sound.
The blue whirl of men got very near, until it seemed that in truth there would be a close and frightful scuffle. There was an expressed disdain in the opposition of the little group, that changed the meaning of the cheers of the men in blue. They became yells of wrath, directed, personal. The cries of the two parties were now in sound an interchange of scathing insults.
The blue whirlwind of men came very close, making it feel like there would actually be a fierce and terrifying fight. The small group's evident disdain altered the meaning of the cheers from the blue team. They turned into shouts of anger, aimed directly at them. The shouts from both sides now sounded like a back-and-forth exchange of harsh insults.
They in blue showed their teeth; their eyes shone all white. They launched themselves as at the throats of those who stood resisting. The space between dwindled to an insignificant distance.
They in blue bared their teeth; their eyes glowed bright white. They lunged at the throats of those who stood their ground. The space between them shrank to nothing.
The youth had centered the gaze of his soul upon that other flag. Its possession would be high pride. It would express bloody minglings, near blows. He had a gigantic hatred for those who made great difficulties and complications. They caused it to be as a craved treasure of mythology, hung amid tasks and contrivances of danger.
The young man had focused the gaze of his soul on that other flag. Owning it would bring him immense pride. It would represent violent clashes and near fights. He felt a massive resentment towards those who created significant challenges and complications. They turned it into a coveted treasure of mythology, hanging among tasks and dangers.
He plunged like a mad horse at it. He was resolved it should not escape if wild blows and darings of blows could seize it. His own emblem, quivering and aflare, was winging toward the other. It seemed there would shortly be an encounter of strange beaks and claws, as of eagles.
He charged at it like a crazy horse. He was determined it wouldn’t get away if wild swings and daring strikes could catch it. His own symbol, trembling and blazing, was flying toward the other. It looked like there would soon be a clash of strange beaks and claws, like eagles.
The swirling body of blue men came to a sudden halt at close and disastrous range and roared a swift volley. The group in gray was split and broken by this fire, but its riddled body still fought. The men in blue yelled again and rushed in upon it.
The group of blue men came to an abrupt stop at a dangerously close distance and let out a quick barrage. The gray team was torn apart by this attack, but its battered members continued to fight. The men in blue shouted again and charged at them.
The youth, in his leapings, saw, as through a mist, a picture of four or five men stretched upon the ground or writhing upon their knees with bowed heads as if they had been stricken by bolts from the sky. Tottering among them was the rival color bearer, whom the youth saw had been bitten vitally by the bullets of the last formidable volley. He perceived this man fighting a last struggle, the struggle of one whose legs are grasped by demons. It was a ghastly battle. Over his face was the bleach of death, but set upon it was the dark and hard lines of desperate purpose. With this terrible grin of resolution he hugged his precious flag to him and was stumbling and staggering in his design to go the way that led to safety for it.
The young man, as he jumped, saw, like through a fog, an image of four or five men lying on the ground or struggling on their knees with their heads down, as if they'd been struck by lightning. Stumbling among them was the rival flag bearer, whom the young man saw had been critically hit by bullets from the last powerful volley. He noticed this man fighting one last battle, struggling like someone whose legs are held by demons. It was a horrifying fight. Death's pallor was on his face, but it was marked by dark and harsh lines of desperate determination. With a terrible grin of resolve, he clutched his precious flag tightly and was stumbling and staggering in his effort to find a way to safety for it.
But his wounds always made it seem that his feet were retarded, held, and he fought a grim fight, as with invisible ghouls fastened greedily upon his limbs. Those in advance of the scampering blue men, howling cheers, leaped at the fence. The despair of the lost was in his eyes as he glanced back at them.
But his injuries always made it look like his feet were disabled, restricted, and he struggled in a tough battle, as if invisible monsters were clinging to his limbs. Those ahead of the rushing blue men, screaming cheers, jumped at the fence. The hopelessness of the lost was visible in his eyes as he glanced back at them.
The youth’s friend went over the obstruction in a tumbling heap and sprang at the flag as a panther at prey. He pulled at it and, wrenching it free, swung up its red brilliancy with a mad cry of exultation even as the color bearer, gasping, lurched over in a final throe and, stiffening convulsively, turned his dead face to the ground. There was much blood upon the grass blades.
The young man's friend climbed over the barrier in a tumble and leaped at the flag like a panther going for its prey. He grabbed it and, tearing it free, raised its vivid red color with a wild shout of triumph just as the color bearer, gasping, stumbled and fell in his last moments, his lifeless face turning to the ground. There was a lot of blood on the blades of grass.
At the place of success there began more wild clamorings of cheers. The men gesticulated and bellowed in an ecstasy. When they spoke it was as if they considered their listener to be a mile away. What hats and caps were left to them they often slung high in the air.
At the site of success, there was a louder uproar of cheers. The men waved their arms and shouted with excitement. When they talked, it felt like they thought their listener was a mile away. Whatever hats and caps they had left, they frequently tossed high into the air.
At one part of the line four men had been swooped upon, and they now sat as prisoners. Some blue men were about them in an eager and curious circle. The soldiers had trapped strange birds, and there was an examination. A flurry of fast questions was in the air.
At one point along the line, four men had been captured and were now sitting as prisoners. A group of blue men surrounded them, eager and curious. The soldiers had caught some strange birds, and there was an inspection happening. A flurry of rapid questions filled the air.
One of the prisoners was nursing a superficial wound in the foot. He cuddled it, baby-wise, but he looked up from it often to curse with an astonishing utter abandon straight at the noses of his captors. He consigned them to red regions; he called upon the pestilential wrath of strange gods. And with it all he was singularly free from recognition of the finer points of the conduct of prisoners of war. It was as if a clumsy clod had trod upon his toe and he conceived it to be his privilege, his duty, to use deep, resentful oaths.
One of the prisoners was tending to a minor wound on his foot. He cradled it like a baby but frequently looked up to curse his captors with surprising intensity. He damned them to hell; he invoked the vengeful wrath of strange gods. Despite all this, he seemed completely unaware of the proper behavior expected from prisoners of war. It was as if a clumsy oaf had stepped on his toe, and he felt it was his right, even his duty, to unleash bitter, angry curses.
Another, who was a boy in years, took his plight with great calmness and apparent good nature. He conversed with the men in blue, studying their faces with his bright and keen eyes. They spoke of battles and conditions. There was an acute interest in all their faces during this exchange of view points. It seemed a great satisfaction to hear voices from where all had been darkness and speculation.
Another boy, still young, handled his situation with remarkable calmness and a seemingly good attitude. He chatted with the soldiers in blue, observing their faces with his bright and sharp eyes. They talked about battles and their circumstances. There was a keen interest on all their faces during this exchange of viewpoints. It seemed like a great relief to hear voices from a place that had been filled with darkness and uncertainty.
The third captive sat with a morose countenance. He preserved a stoical and cold attitude. To all advances he made one reply without variation, “Ah, go t’ hell!”
The third captive sat with a gloomy expression. He maintained a distant and unemotional demeanor. To all attempts at conversation, he responded the same way every time, “Ah, go to hell!”
The last of the four was always silent and, for the most part, kept his face turned in unmolested directions. From the views the youth received he seemed to be in a state of absolute dejection. Shame was upon him, and with it profound regret that he was, perhaps, no more to be counted in the ranks of his fellows. The youth could detect no expression that would allow him to believe that the other was giving a thought to his narrowed future, the pictured dungeons, perhaps, and starvations and brutalities, liable to the imagination. All to be seen was shame for captivity and regret for the right to antagonize.
The last of the four was always quiet and mostly kept his face turned away from any attention. From what the young man could see, he looked completely defeated. He was filled with shame and deep regret that he might no longer be part of his peers. The young man couldn’t see any expression that made him think the other was considering his bleak future, full of imagined dungeons, starvation, and cruelty. All he could see was shame for being trapped and regret for losing the chance to fight back.
After the men had celebrated sufficiently they settled down behind the old rail fence, on the opposite side to the one from which their foes had been driven. A few shot perfunctorily at distant marks.
After the men had celebrated enough, they settled down behind the old rail fence, on the opposite side from where their enemies had been driven away. A few took shots carelessly at distant targets.
There was some long grass. The youth nestled in it and rested, making a convenient rail support the flag. His friend, jubilant and glorified, holding his treasure with vanity, came to him there. They sat side by side and congratulated each other.
There was some tall grass. The young man settled into it and rested, using a nearby rail to support the flag. His friend, filled with joy and pride, came over, flaunting his treasure. They sat next to each other and congratulated one another.
Chapter XXIV.
The roarings that had stretched in a long line of sound across the face of the forest began to grow intermittent and weaker. The stentorian speeches of the artillery continued in some distant encounter, but the crashes of the musketry had almost ceased. The youth and his friend of a sudden looked up, feeling a deadened form of distress at the waning of these noises, which had become a part of life. They could see changes going on among the troops. There were marchings this way and that way. A battery wheeled leisurely. On the crest of a small hill was the thick gleam of many departing muskets.
The loud booms that had echoed across the forest started to become sporadic and fainter. The booming sounds of the artillery continued from some far-off battle, but the gunfire had nearly stopped. The young man and his friend suddenly looked up, feeling a dull kind of sadness at the fading of these sounds, which had become a part of their lives. They noticed changes happening among the troops. There were soldiers moving around in different directions. A battery turned slowly. On top of a small hill, they could see the bright shine of many departing muskets.
The youth arose. “Well, what now, I wonder?” he said. By his tone he seemed to be preparing to resent some new monstrosity in the way of dins and smashes. He shaded his eyes with his grimy hand and gazed over the field.
The young man stood up. “So, what’s next, I guess?” he said. His tone suggested he was ready to react to some new chaos and noise. He covered his eyes with his dirty hand and looked out over the field.
His friend also arose and stared. “I bet we’re goin’ t’ git along out of this an’ back over th’ river,” said he.
His friend also got up and stared. “I bet we’re going to get out of this and back across the river,” he said.
“Well, I swan!” said the youth.
“Well, I swear!” said the young man.
They waited, watching. Within a little while the regiment received orders to retrace its way. The men got up grunting from the grass, regretting the soft repose. They jerked their stiffened legs, and stretched their arms over their heads. One man swore as he rubbed his eyes. They all groaned “O Lord!” They had as many objections to this change as they would have had to a proposal for a new battle.
They waited, watching. After a short time, the regiment got orders to turn back. The men groaned as they got up from the grass, missing the comfortable rest. They shook out their stiff legs and stretched their arms above their heads. One man cursed as he rubbed his eyes. They all moaned, “Oh Lord!” They had just as many complaints about this change as they would have had about a suggestion for a new battle.
They trampled slowly back over the field across which they had run in a mad scamper.
They walked slowly back over the field where they had sprinted in a wild dash.
The regiment marched until it had joined its fellows. The reformed brigade, in column, aimed through a wood at the road. Directly they were in a mass of dust-covered troops, and were trudging along in a way parallel to the enemy’s lines as these had been defined by the previous turmoil.
The regiment marched until it joined its fellow soldiers. The reformed brigade, lined up in column, headed through a woods towards the road. Soon, they were in a mass of dust-covered troops, trudging along in a direction parallel to the enemy's lines as established by the earlier chaos.
They passed within view of a stolid white house, and saw in front of it groups of their comrades lying in wait behind a neat breastwork. A row of guns were booming at a distant enemy. Shells thrown in reply were raising clouds of dust and splinters. Horsemen dashed along the line of intrenchments.
They passed by a solid white house and saw groups of their comrades waiting behind a neat barricade in front of it. A line of guns was booming at a distant enemy. Shells fired back were sending up clouds of dust and debris. Horsemen raced along the line of fortifications.
At this point of its march the division curved away from the field and went winding off in the direction of the river. When the significance of this movement had impressed itself upon the youth he turned his head and looked over his shoulder toward the trampled and débris-strewed ground. He breathed a breath of new satisfaction. He finally nudged his friend. “Well, it’s all over,” he said to him.
At this point in their march, the division veered away from the field and began winding toward the river. Once the meaning of this movement registered with the young man, he turned his head and glanced back at the trampled and debris-strewn ground. He sighed with a sense of new satisfaction. Finally, he nudged his friend. “Well, it’s all over,” he said to him.
His friend gazed backward. “B’Gawd, it is,” he assented. They mused.
His friend looked back. “Wow, it really is,” he agreed. They thought for a moment.
For a time the youth was obliged to reflect in a puzzled and uncertain way. His mind was undergoing a subtle change. It took moments for it to cast off its battleful ways and resume its accustomed course of thought. Gradually his brain emerged from the clogged clouds, and at last he was enabled to more closely comprehend himself and circumstance.
For a while, the young man had to think in a confused and uncertain way. His mind was going through a subtle transformation. It took a little while for him to shake off his combative mindset and get back to his usual way of thinking. Slowly, his brain cleared from the fog, and eventually, he was able to understand himself and his situation better.
He understood then that the existence of shot and countershot was in the past. He had dwelt in a land of strange, squalling upheavals and had come forth. He had been where there was red of blood and black of passion, and he was escaped. His first thoughts were given to rejoicings at this fact.
He realized then that the days of shooting and counter-shooting were behind him. He had lived through a chaotic and tumultuous time and had come out alive. He had witnessed bloodshed and intense emotions, and now he was free. His first thoughts were full of gratitude for this reality.
Later he began to study his deeds, his failures, and his achievements. Thus, fresh from scenes where many of his usual machines of reflection had been idle, from where he had proceeded sheeplike, he struggled to marshal all his acts.
Later, he started to reflect on his actions, his failures, and his successes. Fresh from experiences where many of his usual thinking tools had been inactive, where he had followed along mindlessly, he worked hard to organize all his deeds.
At last they marched before him clearly. From this present view point he was enabled to look upon them in spectator fashion and criticise them with some correctness, for his new condition had already defeated certain sympathies.
At last, they marched before him clearly. From this position, he was able to view them as a spectator and critique them with some accuracy, as his new situation had already diminished certain sympathies.
Regarding his procession of memory he felt gleeful and unregretting, for in it his public deeds were paraded in great and shining prominence. Those performances which had been witnessed by his fellows marched now in wide purple and gold, having various deflections. They went gayly with music. It was pleasure to watch these things. He spent delightful minutes viewing the gilded images of memory.
Regarding his memories, he felt joyful and unrepentant, because they showcased his public achievements in a brilliant spotlight. The actions that his peers had seen now marched by in bright shades of purple and gold, taking various turns. They moved along cheerfully with music. It was a pleasure to watch these moments. He spent enjoyable minutes admiring the shining images of his past.
He saw that he was good. He recalled with a thrill of joy the respectful comments of his fellows upon his conduct.
He realized that he was good. He remembered with a rush of joy the respectful remarks from his peers about his behavior.
Nevertheless, the ghost of his flight from the first engagement appeared to him and danced. There were small shoutings in his brain about these matters. For a moment he blushed, and the light of his soul flickered with shame.
Nevertheless, the memory of his escape from the first fight haunted him and twisted around in his mind. There were small voices in his head arguing about it. For a moment, he felt embarrassed, and the light of his spirit dimmed with shame.
A specter of reproach came to him. There loomed the dogging memory of the tattered soldier—he who, gored by bullets and faint of blood, had fretted concerning an imagined wound in another; he who had loaned his last of strength and intellect for the tall soldier; he who, blind with weariness and pain, had been deserted in the field.
A ghost of shame appeared to him. The haunting memory of the injured soldier loomed—he who, hit by bullets and weak from blood loss, had worried about an imagined injury in someone else; he who had given all his strength and intellect for the tall soldier; he who, exhausted and in pain, had been left behind in the field.
For an instant a wretched chill of sweat was upon him at the thought that he might be detected in the thing. As he stood persistently before his vision, he gave vent to a cry of sharp irritation and agony.
For a moment, a miserable cold sweat washed over him at the thought of being caught. As he stood there, fixated on his vision, he let out a cry of intense frustration and pain.
His friend turned. “What’s the matter, Henry?” he demanded. The youth’s reply was an outburst of crimson oaths.
His friend turned. “What’s wrong, Henry?” he asked. The young man’s reply was a stream of angry curses.
As he marched along the little branch-hung roadway among his prattling companions this vision of cruelty brooded over him. It clung near him always and darkened his view of these deeds in purple and gold. Whichever way his thoughts turned they were followed by the somber phantom of the desertion in the fields. He looked stealthily at his companions, feeling sure that they must discern in his face evidences of this pursuit. But they were plodding in ragged array, discussing with quick tongues the accomplishments of the late battle.
As he walked down the small, tree-lined path with his chattering friends, this vision of cruelty hung over him. It was always close by, clouding his perspective on the glorious deeds around him. No matter where his thoughts wandered, they were haunted by the dark shadow of abandonment in the fields. He glanced cautiously at his friends, convinced they could see the signs of this disturbance on his face. But they continued on in disheveled formation, eagerly talking about the triumphs of the recent battle.
“Oh, if a man should come up an’ ask me, I’d say we got a dum good lickin’.”
“Oh, if a guy came up and asked me, I’d say we got a really good beatdown.”
“Lickin’—in yer eye! We ain’t licked, sonny. We’re goin’ down here aways, swing aroun’, an’ come in behint ’em.”
“Lickin’—in your eye! We haven’t been beaten, kid. We’re going down here for a bit, swinging around, and coming in behind them.”
“Oh, hush, with your comin’ in behint ’em. I’ve seen all ’a that I wanta. Don’t tell me about comin’ in behint—”
“Oh, stop it with your coming in behind them. I’ve seen all of that I want to. Don’t talk to me about coming in behind—”
“Bill Smithers, he ses he’d rather been in ten hundred battles than been in that heluva hospital. He ses they got shootin’ in th’ nighttime, an’ shells dropped plum among ’em in th’ hospital. He ses sech hollerin’ he never see.”
“Bill Smithers, he says he’d rather have been in a thousand battles than be in that crazy hospital. He says there’s shooting at night, and shells dropped right among them in the hospital. He says such yelling he’s never seen.”
“Hasbrouck? He’s th’ best off’cer in this here reg’ment. He’s a whale.”
“Hasbrouck? He’s the best officer in this regiment. He’s amazing.”
“Didn’t I tell yeh we’d come aroun’ in behint ’em? Didn’t I tell yeh so? We—”
“Didn’t I tell you we’d come around behind them? Didn’t I say so? We—”
“Oh, shet yeh mouth!”
“Oh, shut your mouth!”
For a time this pursuing recollection of the tattered man took all elation from the youth’s veins. He saw his vivid error, and he was afraid that it would stand before him all his life. He took no share in the chatter of his comrades, nor did he look at them or know them, save when he felt sudden suspicion that they were seeing his thoughts and scrutinizing each detail of the scene with the tattered soldier.
For a while, this constant memory of the ragged man drained all the joy from the young man's life. He recognized his glaring mistake and feared it would haunt him forever. He didn’t engage in the conversations of his friends, nor did he look at them or connect with them, except when he suddenly felt paranoid that they were reading his mind and examining every detail of the moment with the tattered soldier.
Yet gradually he mustered force to put the sin at a distance. And at last his eyes seemed to open to some new ways. He found that he could look back upon the brass and bombast of his earlier gospels and see them truly. He was gleeful when he discovered that he now despised them.
Yet gradually he found the strength to push the sin away. And finally, his eyes opened to new perspectives. He realized he could look back at the flashy and pretentious nature of his earlier beliefs and see them for what they really were. He felt joy when he discovered that he now looked down on them.
With this conviction came a store of assurance. He felt a quiet manhood, nonassertive but of sturdy and strong blood. He knew that he would no more quail before his guides wherever they should point. He had been to touch the great death, and found that, after all, it was but the great death. He was a man.
With this belief came a sense of confidence. He felt a calm masculinity, not pushy but resilient and strong. He knew he wouldn’t shrink back from his mentors no matter where they directed him. He had faced the ultimate death and realized that, in the end, it was just that—death. He was a man.
So it came to pass that as he trudged from the place of blood and wrath his soul changed. He came from hot plowshares to prospects of clover tranquilly, and it was as if hot plowshares were not. Scars faded as flowers.
So it happened that as he walked away from the place of violence and anger, his soul transformed. He moved from the heat of battle to the calm promise of clover, and it felt like the heat of battle was a distant memory. Scars faded like flowers.
It rained. The procession of weary soldiers became a bedraggled train, despondent and muttering, marching with churning effort in a trough of liquid brown mud under a low, wretched sky. Yet the youth smiled, for he saw that the world was a world for him, though many discovered it to be made of oaths and walking sticks. He had rid himself of the red sickness of battle. The sultry nightmare was in the past. He had been an animal blistered and sweating in the heat and pain of war. He turned now with a lover’s thirst to images of tranquil skies, fresh meadows, cool brooks—an existence of soft and eternal peace.
It rained. The line of exhausted soldiers became a disheveled group, downcast and murmuring, struggling through a deep pool of muddy water beneath a low, miserable sky. Yet the young man smiled, because he realized that the world was still a place for him, even though many saw it as filled with promises and canes. He had freed himself from the gruesome reality of battle. The oppressive nightmare was behind him. He had been like a beast, burned and sweating in the heat and agony of war. Now, he turned with a lover’s longing to images of clear skies, green meadows, and cool streams—a life of gentle and lasting peace.
Over the river a golden ray of sun came through the hosts of leaden rain clouds.
Over the river, a golden beam of sunlight broke through the thick rain clouds.
THE END.
THE END.
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