This is a modern-English version of The thing on the door-step, originally written by Lovecraft, H. P. (Howard Phillips).
It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling,
and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If
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The Thing on the Door-Step
By H. P. LOVECRAFT
By H.P. Lovecraft
A powerful tale by one of the supreme
masters of weird fiction—a tale in which the
horror creeps and grows, to spring at last
upon the reader in all its hideous totality.
A gripping story by one of the top masters of weird fiction—a story where the horror slowly builds and intensifies, ultimately shocking the reader in all its terrifying glory.
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Weird Tales January 1937.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Weird Tales January 1937.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
It is true that I have sent six bullets through the head of my best friend, and yet I hope to show by this statement that I am not his murderer. At first I shall be called a madman—madder than the man I shot in his cell at the Arkham Sanitarium. Later some of my readers will weigh each statement, correlate it with the known facts, and ask themselves how I could have believed otherwise than as I did after facing the evidence of that horror—that thing on the door-step.
It’s true that I shot six bullets into the head of my best friend, but I hope to prove with this statement that I’m not his murderer. At first, some will think I’m crazy—crazier than the guy I shot in his cell at the Arkham Sanitarium. Later, some of my readers will consider each statement, compare it with the known facts, and wonder how I could have believed anything different after facing the evidence of that horror—that thing on the doorstep.
Until then I also saw nothing but madness in the wild tales I have acted on. Even now I ask myself whether I was misled—or whether I am not mad after all. I do not know—but others have strange things to tell of Edward and Asenath Derby, and even the stolid police are at their wits' ends to account for that last terrible visit. They have tried weakly to concoct a theory of a ghastly jest or warning by discharged servants; yet they know in their hearts that the truth is something infinitely more terrible and incredible.
Until then, I only saw craziness in the wild stories I acted upon. Even now, I wonder if I was misled—or if I'm the one who's actually crazy. I don’t know—but others have bizarre things to say about Edward and Asenath Derby, and even the stoic police are completely baffled by that last terrible visit. They’ve tried to weakly come up with a theory about a ghastly prank or warning from fired employees; yet deep down, they know the truth is something infinitely more horrifying and unbelievable.
So I say that I have not murdered Edward Derby. Rather have I avenged him, and in so doing purged the earth of a horror whose survival might have loosed untold terrors on all mankind. There are black zones of shadow close to our daily paths, and now and then some evil soul breaks a passage through. When that happens, the man who knows must strike before reckoning the consequences.
So I say that I have not killed Edward Derby. Instead, I have avenged him, and in doing so, removed a horror from the world whose existence could have unleashed unimaginable terrors on all humanity. There are dark areas of shadow near our everyday lives, and occasionally, an evil person finds a way through. When that happens, the one who knows must act before considering the consequences.
I have known Edward Pickman Derby all his life. Eight years my junior, he was so precocious that we had much in common from the time he was eight and I sixteen. He was the most phenomenal child scholar I have ever known, and at seven was writing verse of a somber, fantastic, almost morbid cast which astonished the tutors surrounding him. Perhaps his private education and coddled seclusion had something to do with his premature flowering. An only child, he had organic weaknesses which startled his doting parents and caused them to keep him closely chained to their side. He was never allowed out without his nurse, and seldom had a chance to play unconstrainedly with other children. All this doubtless fostered a strange secretive inner life in the boy, with imagination as his one avenue of freedom.
I have known Edward Pickman Derby his whole life. He’s eight years younger than me, but he was so advanced that we had a lot in common starting when he was eight and I was sixteen. He was the most remarkable child prodigy I’ve ever seen, and by the age of seven, he was writing dark, fantastic, almost morbid poetry that amazed the tutors around him. Maybe his private education and overly protective upbringing contributed to his early development. As an only child, he had health issues that concerned his doting parents and led them to keep him close by their side. He was never allowed outside without his nurse and rarely had the chance to play freely with other kids. All of this likely created a strange, secretive inner world for him, with imagination as his only escape.
At any rate, his juvenile learning was prodigious and bizarre; and his facile writings such as to captivate me despite my greater age. About that time I had leanings toward art of a somewhat grotesque cast, and I found in this younger child a rare kindred spirit. What lay behind our joint love of shadows and marvels was, no doubt, the ancient, moldering, and subtly fearsome town in which we lived—witch-cursed, legend-haunted Arkham, whose huddled, sagging gambrel roofs and crumbling Georgian balustrades brood out the centuries beside the darkly muttering Miskatonic.
At any rate, his youthful learning was impressive and strange; and his easy-to-read writings managed to captivate me despite my older age. Around that time, I was drawn to art with a slightly grotesque flair, and I discovered in this younger kid a rare kindred spirit. What fueled our shared fascination with shadows and wonders was, without a doubt, the ancient, decaying, and somewhat frightening town we lived in—witch-cursed, legend-haunted Arkham, whose huddled, sagging gambrel roofs and crumbling Georgian railings have silently witnessed the centuries along the darkly murmuring Miskatonic.
As time went by I turned to architecture and gave up my design of illustrating a book of Edward's demoniac poems, yet our comradeship suffered no lessening. Young Derby's odd genius developed remarkably, and in his eighteenth year his collected nightmare-lyrics made a real sensation when issued under the title Azathoth and Other Horrors. He was a close correspondent of the notorious Baudelairean poet Justin Geoffrey, who wrote The People of the Monolith and died screaming in a madhouse in 1926 after a visit to a sinister, ill-regarded village in Hungary.
As time passed, I shifted my focus to architecture and abandoned my plans to illustrate a book of Edward's dark poems, but our friendship remained strong. Young Derby's unique talent blossomed impressively, and at just eighteen, his collection of nightmarish lyrics created quite a stir when released under the title Azathoth and Other Horrors. He maintained a close correspondence with the infamous Baudelairean poet Justin Geoffrey, who wrote The People of the Monolith and died screaming in a mental asylum in 1926 after visiting a grim, ill-famed village in Hungary.
In self-reliance and practical affairs, however, Derby was greatly retarded because of his coddled existence. His health had improved, but his habits of childish dependence were fostered by over-careful parents, so that he never traveled alone, made independent decisions, or assumed responsibilities. It was early seen that he would not be equal to a struggle in the business or professional arena, but the family fortune was so ample that this formed no tragedy. As he grew to years of manhood he retained a deceptive aspect of boyishness. Blond and blue-eyed, he had the fresh complexion of a child, and his attempts to raise a mustache were discernible only with difficulty. His voice was soft and light, and his unexercised life gave him a juvenile chubbiness rather than the paunchiness of premature middle age. He was of good height, and his handsome face would have made him a notable gallant had not his shyness held him to seclusion and bookishness.
In terms of self-reliance and practical matters, however, Derby was significantly held back because of his sheltered upbringing. His health had gotten better, but his habits of childish dependence were encouraged by overly protective parents, so he never traveled alone, made independent choices, or took on responsibilities. It became clear early on that he wouldn’t be able to handle challenges in the business or professional world, but the family wealth was so substantial that it wasn’t a tragedy. As he reached adulthood, he still had a misleading appearance of youthfulness. With his blonde hair and blue eyes, he had the fresh complexion of a child, and his attempts at growing a mustache were barely noticeable. His voice was soft and light, and the lack of physical activity gave him a youthful chubbiness rather than the bulging belly of early middle age. He was reasonably tall, and his attractive face could have made him a striking figure if not for his shyness, which kept him isolated and focused on books.
Derby's parents took him abroad every summer, and he was quick to seize on the surface aspects of European thought and expression. His Poe-like talents turned more and more toward the decadent, and other artistic sensitivenesses and yearnings were half aroused in him.
Derby's parents took him abroad every summer, and he quickly picked up on the superficial aspects of European thought and expression. His Poe-like talents increasingly leaned toward the decadent, and other artistic sensitivities and desires were partially awakened in him.
We had great discussions in those days. I had been through Harvard, had studied in a Boston architect's office, had married, and had finally returned to Arkham to practise my profession—settling in the family homestead in Salton-stall Street, since my father had moved to Florida for his health. Edward used to call almost every evening, till I came to regard him as one of the household. He had a characteristic way of ringing the door-bell or sounding the knocker that grew to be a veritable code signal, so that after dinner I always listened for the familiar three brisk strokes followed by two more after a pause. Less frequently I would visit at his house and note with envy the obscure volumes in his constantly growing library.
We had amazing conversations back then. I went to Harvard, worked in a Boston architect's office, got married, and finally returned to Arkham to practice my profession—settling in the family home on Saltonstall Street, since my dad had moved to Florida for his health. Edward used to drop by almost every evening, and I started to see him as part of the family. He had a unique way of ringing the doorbell or knocking that became a sort of secret signal, so after dinner, I always listened for the familiar three quick knocks followed by two more after a pause. I would visit his place less often and feel a bit envious of the obscure books in his ever-growing library.
Derby went through Miskatonic University in Arkham, since his parents would not let him board away from them. He entered at sixteen and completed his course in three years, majoring in English and French literature and receiving high marks in everything but mathematics and the sciences. He mingled very little with the other students, though looking enviously at the "daring" or "Bohemian" set—whose superficially "smart" language and meaninglessly ironic pose he aped, and whose dubious conduct he wished he dared adopt.
Derby attended Miskatonic University in Arkham because his parents wouldn't let him live away from home. He started at sixteen and finished his degree in three years, majoring in English and French literature while getting high grades in everything except math and science. He didn't socialize much with the other students, although he envied the "daring" or "Bohemian" crowd—mimicking their seemingly "smart" language and meaningless ironic attitude, wishing he had the courage to adopt their questionable behavior.
What he did do was to become an almost fanatical devotee of subterranean magical lore, for which Miskatonic's library was and is famous. Always a dweller on the surface of fantasy and strangeness, he now delved deep into the actual runes and riddles left by a fabulous past for the guidance or puzzlement of posterity. He read things like the frightful Book of Eibon, the Unaussprechlichen Kulten of von Junzt, and the forbidden Necronomicon of the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred, though he did not tell his parents he had seen them. Edward was twenty when my son and only child was born, and seemed pleased when I named the newcomer Edward Derby Upton, after him.
What he actually did was become an almost obsessive follower of underground magical knowledge, which Miskatonic's library is famous for. Always captivated by fantasy and the strange, he now explored the actual runes and puzzles left by an incredible past for the guidance or confusion of future generations. He read things like the terrifying Book of Eibon, the Unaussprechlichen Kulten by von Junzt, and the forbidden Necronomicon by the insane Arab Abdul Alhazred, although he didn't tell his parents he had come across them. Edward was twenty when my son and only child was born, and he seemed happy when I named the new arrival Edward Derby Upton, after him.
By the time he was twenty-five Edward Derby was a prodigiously learned man and a fairly well-known poet and fantaisiste, though his lack of contacts and responsibilities had slowed down his literary growth by making his products derivative and over-bookish. I was perhaps his closest friend—finding him an inexhaustible mine of vital theoretical topics, while he relied on me for advice in whatever matters he did not wish to refer to his parents. He remained single—more through shyness, inertia and parental protectiveness than through inclination—and moved in society only to the slightest and most perfunctory extent. When the war came both health and ingrained timidity kept him at home. I went to Plattsburg for a commission, but never got overseas.
By the time he was twenty-five, Edward Derby was an incredibly knowledgeable man and a fairly well-known poet and fantasist, although his lack of contacts and responsibilities had hindered his literary progress, making his work feel derivative and overly academic. I was probably his closest friend, finding him an endless source of engaging theoretical topics, while he depended on me for advice about things he didn’t want to discuss with his parents. He stayed single—more due to shyness, inertia, and parental protectiveness than personal choice—and interacted with society only in a minimal and superficial way. When the war broke out, both his health and deep-rooted shyness kept him at home. I went to Plattsburgh for a commission but never made it overseas.
So the years wore on. Edward's mother died when he was thirty-four, and for months he was incapacitated by some odd psychological malady. His father took him to Europe, however, and he managed to pull out of his trouble without visible effects. Afterward he seemed to feel a sort of grotesque exhilaration, as if of partial escape from some unseen bondage. He began to mingle in the more "advanced" college set despite his middle age, and was present at some extremely wild doings—on one occasion paying heavy blackmail (which he borrowed of me) to keep his presence at a certain affair from his father's notice. Some of the whispered rumors about the wild Miskatonic set were extremely singular. There was even talk of black magic and of happenings utterly beyond credibility.
So the years went by. Edward's mom passed away when he was thirty-four, and for months he was stuck in some strange psychological state. His dad took him to Europe, and he managed to pull himself together without any lasting effects. Afterwards, he seemed to feel a bizarre thrill, like he had partially escaped some invisible captivity. He started socializing with the more "advance" college crowd despite being middle-aged, and he was involved in some really crazy events—one time even paying a hefty bribe (which he borrowed from me) to keep his attendance at a particular gathering a secret from his dad. Some of the whispered rumors about the wild Miskatonic group were truly unusual. There was even talk of black magic and happenings that were completely unbelievable.
2
2
Edward was thirty-eight when he met Asenath Waite. She was, I judge, about twenty-three at the time; and was taking a special course in mediæval meta-physics at Miskatonic. The daughter of a friend of mine had met her before—in the Hall School at Kingsport—and had been inclined to shun her because of her odd reputation. She was dark, smallish, and very good-looking except for over-protuberant eyes; but something in her expression alienated extremely sensitive people. It was, however, largely her origin and conversation which caused average folk to avoid her. She was one of the Innsmouth Waites, and dark legends have clustered for generations about crumbling, half-deserted Innsmouth and its people. There are tales of horrible bargains about the year 1850, and of a strange element "not quite human" in the ancient families of the run-down fishing-port—tales such as only old-time Yankees can devise and repeat with proper awesomeness.
Edward was thirty-eight when he met Asenath Waite. She was, I would guess, around twenty-three at the time and was enrolled in a special course on medieval metaphysics at Miskatonic. The daughter of a friend of mine had encountered her before—in the Hall School at Kingsport—and had been inclined to avoid her because of her strange reputation. She was dark, somewhat petite, and very attractive except for her bulging eyes; but something in her expression made extremely sensitive people uncomfortable. However, it was mainly her background and the way she spoke that led average folks to steer clear of her. She was one of the Innsmouth Waites, and dark legends have surrounded the crumbling, mostly deserted Innsmouth and its people for generations. There are stories of terrible deals dating back to around 1850, and of an unusual element "not quite human" within the ancient families of the rundown fishing port—tales that only old-time Yankees can invent and tell with the right sense of awe.
Asenath's case was aggravated by the fact that she was Ephraim Waite's daughter—the child of his old age by an unknown wife who always went veiled. Ephraim lived in a half-decayed mansion in Washington Street, Innsmouth, and those who had seen the place (Arkham folk avoid going to Innsmouth whenever they can) declared that the attic windows were always boarded, and that strange sounds sometimes floated from within as evening drew on. The old man was known to have been a prodigious magical student in his day, and legend averred that he could raise or quell storms at sea according to his whim. I had seen him once or twice in my youth as he came to Arkham to consult forbidden tomes at the college library, and had hated his wolfish, saturnine face with its tangle of iron-gray beard. He had died insane—under rather queer circumstances—just before his daughter (by his will made a nominal ward of the principal) entered the Hall School, but she had been his morbidly avid pupil and looked fiendishly like him at times.
Asenath's situation was made worse by the fact that she was Ephraim Waite's daughter—the child he had with an unknown wife who always kept her face covered. Ephraim lived in a crumbling old mansion on Washington Street in Innsmouth, and those who had seen the place (people from Arkham usually try to avoid Innsmouth) claimed that the attic windows were always boarded up and that strange noises sometimes drifted out as evening approached. The old man was known to have been an incredible magic scholar in his time, and legend had it that he could create or calm storms at sea whenever he wanted. I had seen him a few times in my youth when he came to Arkham to look through forbidden books at the college library, and I disliked his wolfish, gloomy face with its tangled iron-gray beard. He had died insane—under some peculiar circumstances—just before his daughter (who, by his will, was made a nominal ward of the principal) entered the Hall School, but she had been his strangely obsessed pupil and sometimes looked terrifyingly like him.
The friend whose daughter had gone to school with Asenath Waite repeated many curious things when the news of Edward's acquaintance with her began to spread about. Asenath, it seemed, had posed as a kind of magician at school; and had really seemed able to accomplish some highly baffling marvels. She professed to be able to raise thunderstorms, though her seeming success was generally laid to some uncanny knack at prediction. All animals markedly disliked her, and she could make any dog howl by certain motions of her right hand. There were times when she displayed snatches of knowledge and language very singular—and very shocking—for a young girl; when she would frighten her schoolmates with leers and winks of an inexplicable kind, and would seem to extract an obscene and zestful irony from her present situation.
The friend whose daughter had attended school with Asenath Waite shared many strange stories when people started talking about Edward’s connection with her. It turned out that Asenath had acted like a kind of magician at school and had genuinely seemed capable of performing some perplexing tricks. She claimed she could summon thunderstorms, though most attributed her apparent success to an odd talent for predicting the weather. All animals strongly disliked her, and she could make any dog howl with certain movements of her right hand. There were times when she exhibited bursts of knowledge and language that were quite unusual—and very unsettling—for a young girl; she would scare her classmates with mysterious grins and winks and appeared to derive a twisted and intense satisfaction from her current situation.
Most unusual, though, were the well-attested cases of her influence over other persons. She was, beyond question, a genuine hypnotist. By gazing peculiarly at a fellow-student she would often give the latter a distinct feeling of exchanged personality—as if the subject were placed momentarily in the magician's body and able to stare half across the room at her real body, whose eyes blazed and protruded with an alien expression. Asenath often made wild claims about the nature of consciousness and about its independence of the physical frame—or at least from the life-processes of the physical frame. Her crowning rage, however, was that she was not a man; since she believed a male brain had certain unique and far-reaching cosmic powers. Given a man's brain, she declared, she could not only equal but surpass her father in mastery of unknown forces.
Most unusual, though, were the well-documented instances of her influence over other people. She was undeniably a true hypnotist. By gazing intently at a fellow student, she would often give them a distinct feeling of swapped personalities—as if the person was momentarily placed in the magician's body and could see her real body from a distance, with eyes that blazed and bulged with an otherworldly expression. Asenath often made wild claims about the nature of consciousness and its independence from the physical body—or at least from the life processes of the physical body. However, her biggest frustration was that she was not a man; she believed that a male brain had certain unique and significant cosmic powers. She insisted that if she had a man's brain, she could not only match but surpass her father in mastering unknown forces.
Edward met Asenath at a gathering of "intelligentsia" held in one of the students' rooms, and could talk of nothing else when he came to see me the next day. He had found her full of the interests and erudition which engrossed him most, and was in addition wildly taken with her appearance. I had never seen the young woman, and recalled casual references only faintly, but I knew who she was. It seemed rather regrettable that Derby should become so upheaved about her; but I said nothing to discourage him, since infatuation thrives on opposition. He was not, he said, mentioning her to his father.
Edward met Asenath at a gathering of intellectuals in one of the students' rooms, and he couldn't stop talking about her when he visited me the next day. He found her full of the interests and knowledge he was most passionate about, and he was also completely taken by her looks. I had never seen her and only vaguely remembered casual mentions, but I knew who she was. It seemed a bit unfortunate that Derby was so obsessed with her, but I didn’t say anything to deter him, as infatuation only grows stronger with pushback. He mentioned that he wasn’t telling his father about her.
In the next few weeks I heard of very little but Asenath from young Derby. Others now remarked Edward's autumnal gallantry, though they agreed that he did not look even nearly his actual age, or seem at all inappropriate as an escort for his bizarre divinity. He was only a trifle paunchy despite his indolence and self-indulgence, and his face was absolutely without lines. Asenath, on the other hand, had the premature crow's-feet which come from the exercise of an intense will.
In the next few weeks, I heard very little except about Asenath from young Derby. Others noticed Edward’s fall charm, although they all agreed that he didn’t look anywhere near his actual age or seem out of place as an escort for his unusual goddess. He was only slightly overweight despite his laziness and indulgence, and his face was completely wrinkle-free. Asenath, on the other hand, showed early signs of crow's-feet from the strain of a strong will.
About this time Edward brought the girl to call on me, and I at once saw that his interest was by no means one-sided. She eyed him continually with an almost predatory air, and I perceived that their intimacy was beyond untangling. Soon afterward I had a visit from old Mr. Derby, whom I had always admired and respected. He had heard the tales of his son's new friendship and had wormed the whole truth out of "the boy". Edward meant to marry Asenath, and had even been looking at houses in the suburbs. Knowing my usually great influence with his son, the father wondered if I could help to break the ill-advised affair off; but I regretfully expressed my doubts. This time it was not a question of Edward's weak will but of the woman's strong will. The perennial child had transferred his dependence from the parental image to a new and stronger image, and nothing could be done about it.
About this time, Edward brought the girl to visit me, and I immediately noticed that his interest was definitely mutual. She watched him constantly with a nearly predatory gaze, and I realized that their closeness was complicated. Shortly after, I had a visit from old Mr. Derby, whom I had always admired and respected. He had heard the rumors about his son's new relationship and had managed to get the whole story out of "the boy." Edward intended to marry Asenath and had even been looking at houses in the suburbs. Knowing my usual influence with his son, the father wondered if I could help end what he thought was a bad decision; however, I reluctantly expressed my doubts. This time, it wasn't about Edward's weak will, but rather the woman's strong will. The eternal child had shifted his dependence from his parents to a new, more powerful figure, and there was nothing to be done about it.
The wedding was performed a month later by a justice of the peace according to the bride's request. Mr. Derby, at my advice, offered no opposition, and he, my wife, my son and I attended the brief ceremony—the other guests being wild young people from the college. Asenath had bought the old Crowninshield place in the country at the end of High Street, and they proposed to settle there after a short trip to Innsmouth, whence three servants and some books and household goods were to be brought. It was probably not so much consideration for Edward and his father as a personal wish to be near the college, its library, and its crowd of "sophisticates", that made Asenath settle in Arkham instead of returning permanently home.
The wedding took place a month later by a justice of the peace at the bride's request. Mr. Derby, following my advice, didn’t object, and he, my wife, my son, and I attended the brief ceremony—while the other guests were lively young people from the college. Asenath had purchased the old Crowninshield place in the country at the end of High Street, and they planned to settle there after a short trip to Innsmouth, where three servants and some books and household items were to be brought. It was probably less about consideration for Edward and his father and more about Asenath's personal desire to be close to the college, its library, and its mix of "sophisticates," that led her to stay in Arkham instead of returning home permanently.
When Edward called on me after the honeymoon I thought he looked slightly changed. Asenath had made him get rid of the undeveloped mustache, but there was more than that. He looked soberer and more thoughtful, his habitual pout of childish rebelliousness being exchanged for a look almost of genuine sadness. I was puzzled to decide whether I liked or disliked the change. Certainly he seemed for the moment more normally adult than ever before. Perhaps the marriage was a good thing—might not the change of dependence form a start toward actual neutralization, leading ultimately to responsible independence? He came alone, for Asenath was very busy. She had brought a vast store of books and apparatus from Innsmouth (Derby shuddered as he spoke the name), and was finishing the restoration of the Crowninshield house and grounds.
When Edward came to see me after the honeymoon, I thought he looked a bit different. Asenath had made him shave his undeveloped mustache, but it was more than that. He appeared more serious and thoughtful, his usual pout of childish defiance replaced by a look that almost conveyed real sadness. I was unsure whether I liked or disliked the change. He definitely seemed more like an adult than ever before. Maybe marriage was a good thing—could the shift in dependence lead to actual balance, ultimately resulting in responsible independence? He came alone since Asenath was very busy. She had brought back a huge collection of books and equipment from Innsmouth (Derby shuddered when he mentioned the name) and was finishing up the restoration of the Crowninshield house and grounds.
Her home in—that town—was a rather disgusting place, but certain objects in it had taught him some surprizing things. He was progressing fast in esoteric lore now that he had Asenath's guidance. Some of the experiments she proposed were very daring and radical—he did not feel at liberty to describe them—but he had confidence in her powers and intentions. The three servants were very queer—an incredibly aged couple who had been with old Ephraim and referred occasionally to him and to Asenath's dead mother in a cryptic way, and a swarthy young wench who had marked anomalies of feature and seemed to exude a perpetual odor of fish.
Her home in that town was pretty disgusting, but certain objects in it had taught him some surprising things. He was making quick progress in esoteric knowledge now that he had Asenath's guidance. Some of the experiments she suggested were very bold and unconventional—he didn’t feel comfortable describing them—but he trusted her abilities and intentions. The three servants were quite odd—an incredibly old couple who had been with old Ephraim and occasionally referred to him and Asenath's deceased mother in a cryptic way, and a dark-skinned young woman who had unusual features and seemed to carry a constant smell of fish.
3
3
For the next two years I saw less and less of Derby. A fortnight would sometimes slip by without the familiar three-and-two strokes at the front door; and when he did call—or when, as happened with increasing infrequency, I called on him—he was very little disposed to converse on vital topics. He had become secretive about those occult studies which he used to describe and discuss so minutely, and preferred not to talk of his wife. She had aged tremendously since her marriage, till now—oddly enough—she seemed the elder of the two. Her face held the most concentratedly determined expression I had ever seen, and her whole aspect seemed to gain a vague, unplaceable repulsiveness. My wife and son noticed it as much as I, and we all ceased gradually to call on her—for which, Edward admitted in one of his boyishly tactless moments, she was unmitigatedly grateful. Occasionally the Derbys would go on long trips—ostensibly to Europe, though Edward sometimes hinted at obscurer destinations.
For the next two years, I saw less and less of Derby. Sometimes, a couple of weeks would go by without the familiar three-and-two knocks at the front door; and when he did visit—or when I did, although that happened less and less—he was rarely willing to talk about important subjects. He had become secretive about those mysterious studies he used to describe and discuss in detail, and he preferred not to mention his wife. She had aged a lot since their marriage, and now—strangely—she seemed older than him. Her face had the most intensely determined look I had ever seen, and her overall demeanor seemed to have this vague, unplaceable unpleasantness. My wife and son noticed it just as much as I did, and we all gradually stopped visiting her—for which, Edward admitted during one of his boyishly tactless moments, she was completely grateful. Occasionally, the Derbys would take long trips—supposedly to Europe, although Edward sometimes hinted at darker destinations.
It was after the first year that people began talking about the change in Edward Derby. It was very casual talk, for the change was purely psychological; but it brought up some interesting points. Now and then, it seemed, Edward was observed to wear an expression and to do things wholly incompatible with his usual flabby nature. For example—although in the old days he could not drive a car, he was now seen occasionally to dash into or out of the old Crowninshield driveway with Asenath's powerful Packard, handling it like a master, and meeting traffic entanglements with a skill and determination utterly alien to his accustomed nature. In such cases he seemed always to be just back from some trip or just starting on one—what sort of trip, no one could guess, although he mostly favored the Innsmouth road.
It was after the first year that people started discussing the change in Edward Derby. It was casual conversation since the change was purely psychological, but it raised some interesting points. Occasionally, it seemed that Edward was seen with an expression and doing things completely unlike his usual lazy self. For instance—although in the past he couldn't drive a car, he was now occasionally seen zooming in and out of the old Crowninshield driveway in Asenath's powerful Packard, handling it like a pro and tackling traffic situations with a skill and determination that were totally foreign to his usual behavior. In these instances, he always appeared to have just returned from some trip or was about to start one—what kind of trip, no one could guess, although he mostly seemed to prefer the Innsmouth road.
Oddly, the metamorphosis did not seem altogether pleasing. People said he looked too much like his wife, or like old Ephraim Waite himself, in these moments—or perhaps these moments seemed unnatural because they were so rare. Sometimes, hours after starting out in this way, he would return listlessly sprawled on the rear seat of the car while an obviously hired chauffeur or mechanic drove. Also, his preponderant aspect on the streets or during his decreasing round of social contacts (including, I may say, his calls on me) was the old-time indecisive one—its irresponsible childishness even more marked than in the past. While Asenath's face aged, Edward's—aside from those exceptional occasions—actually relaxed into a kind of exaggerated immaturity, save when a trace of the new sadness or understanding would flash across it. It was really very puzzling. Meanwhile the Derbys almost dropped out of the gay college circle—not through their own disgust, we heard, but because something about their present studies shocked even the most callous of the other decadents.
Strangely, the transformation didn’t seem entirely enjoyable. People said he resembled his wife too much, or even old Ephraim Waite himself, during these times—or perhaps these moments felt unnatural because they were so infrequent. Sometimes, hours after starting out like this, he would return, listlessly sprawled on the back seat of the car while a clearly hired chauffeur or mechanic drove. Also, his dominant demeanor on the streets or during his dwindling social interactions (which, I should mention, included his visits to me) was the old indecisive one—its reckless childishness even more pronounced than before. While Asenath's face aged, Edward's—aside from those rare occasions—actually softened into a kind of exaggerated youthfulness, except when a hint of new sadness or understanding would flicker across it. It was really quite confusing. Meanwhile, the Derbys almost faded out of the lively college scene—not due to their own disgust, we heard, but because something about their current studies shocked even the most jaded of the other decadents.
It was in the third year of the marriage that Edward began to hint openly to me of a certain fear and dissatisfaction. He would let fall remarks about things "going too far", and would talk darkly about the need of "gaining his identity". At first I ignored such references, but in time I began to question him guardedly, remembering what my friend's daughter had said about Asenath's hypnotic influence over the other girls at school—the cases where students had thought they were in her body looking across the room at themselves. This questioning seemed to make him at once alarmed and grateful, and once he mumbled something about having a serious talk with me later.
It was in the third year of our marriage that Edward started to openly express a certain fear and dissatisfaction. He would drop comments about things "going too far" and speak vaguely about needing to "find himself." At first, I brushed off these remarks, but eventually, I began to ask him cautiously, recalling what my friend’s daughter had said about Asenath’s hypnotic effect on the other girls at school—the incidents where students believed they were in her body, watching themselves from across the room. This questioning seemed to make him both anxious and appreciative, and once he mentioned wanting to have a serious talk with me later.
About this time old Mr. Derby died, for which I was afterward very thankful. Edward was badly upset, though by no means disorganized. He had seen astonishingly little of his parent since his marriage, for Asenath had concentrated in herself all his vital sense of family linkage. Some called him callous in his loss—especially since those jaunty and confident moods with the car began to increase. He now wished to move back into the old family mansion, but Asenath insisted on staying in the Crowninshield house, to which she had become well adjusted.
About this time, old Mr. Derby passed away, which I later felt grateful for. Edward was really shaken up, but not completely lost. He had hardly seen his father since getting married because Asenath had taken on the entire sense of family connection. Some people thought he was insensitive about his loss—especially since he started becoming more upbeat and self-assured with the car. He now wanted to move back into the old family home, but Asenath was set on staying in the Crowninshield house, where she had become quite comfortable.
Not long afterward my wife heard a curious thing from a friend—one of the few who had not dropped the Derbys. She had been out to the end of High Street to call on the couple, and had seen a car shoot briskly out of the drive with Edward's oddly confident and almost sneering face above the wheel. Ringing the bell, she had been told by the repulsive wench that Asenath was also out; but had chanced to look up at the house in leaving. There, at one of Edward's library windows, she had glimpsed a hastily withdrawn face—a face whose expression of pain, defeat, and wistful hopelessness was poignant beyond description. It was—incredibly enough in view of its usual domineering cast—Asenath's; yet the caller had vowed that in that instant the sad, muddled eyes of poor Edward were gazing out from it.
Not long after, my wife heard something strange from a friend—one of the few who hadn't abandoned the Derbys. She had gone to the end of High Street to visit the couple and saw a car speed out of the driveway with Edward's oddly confident and almost mocking face behind the wheel. When she rang the bell, the unpleasant girl told her that Asenath was also out; but as she was leaving, she happened to look up at the house. There, at one of Edward's library windows, she caught a glimpse of a face that quickly pulled back—a face whose expression of pain, defeat, and wistful hopelessness was deeply moving. It was—surprisingly, given its usual arrogant demeanor—Asenath's; yet the visitor swore that in that moment, the sad, confused eyes of poor Edward were looking out from it.
Edward's calls now grew a trifle more frequent, and his hints occasionally became concrete. What he said was not to be believed, even in centuried and legend-haunted Arkham; but he threw out his dark lore with a sincerity and convincingness which made one fear for his sanity. He talked about terrible meetings in lonely places, of cyclopean ruins in the heart of the Maine woods beneath which vast staircases led down to abysses of nighted secrets, of complex angles that led through invisible walls to other regions of space and time, and of hideous exchanges of personality that permitted explorations in remote and forbidden places, on other worlds, and in different space-time continua.
Edward's calls became a bit more frequent, and his hints occasionally turned into clear suggestions. What he said was hard to believe, even in the ancient and legend-filled town of Arkham; however, he shared his dark knowledge with a sincerity and persuasion that made one worry about his mental state. He talked about terrifying meetings in isolated areas, about massive ruins deep in the Maine woods where vast staircases descended into abysses of dark secrets, about complex angles that led through invisible walls to other dimensions of space and time, and about horrifying exchanges of identity that allowed access to remote and forbidden places, in other worlds, and in different space-time realities.
He would now and then back up certain crazy hints by exhibiting objects which utterly nonplussed me—elusively colored and bafflingly textured objects like nothing ever heard of on earth, whose insane curves and surfaces answered no conceivable purpose and followed no conceivable geometry. These things, he said, came "from outside"; and his wife knew how to get them. Sometimes—but always in frightened and ambiguous whispers—he would suggest things about old Ephraim Waite, whom he had seen occasionally at the college library in the old days. These adumbrations were never specific, but seemed to revolve around some especially horrible doubt as to whether the old wizard were really dead—in a spiritual as well as corporeal sense.
He would occasionally back up some wild hints by showing me objects that completely baffled me—strangely colored and confusingly textured items like nothing I had ever seen, with twisted shapes and surfaces that served no obvious purpose and didn’t follow any known geometry. He claimed these items came "from outside," and his wife knew how to acquire them. Sometimes—but always in scared and vague whispers—he would hint at things regarding old Ephraim Waite, whom he had seen at the college library back in the day. These hints were never clear but seemed to hinge on a particularly terrible doubt about whether the old wizard was truly dead—in both a physical and spiritual sense.
At times Derby would halt abruptly in his revelations, and I wondered whether Asenath could possibly have divined his speech at a distance and cut him off through some unknown sort of telepathic mesmerism—some power of the kind she had displayed at school. Certainly, she suspected that he told me things, for as the weeks passed she tried to stop his visits with words and glances of a most inexplicable potency. Only with difficulty could he get to see me, for although he would pretend to be going somewhere else, some invisible force would generally clog his motions or make him forget his destination for the time being. His visits usually came when Asenath was away—"away in her own body," as he once oddly put it. She always found out later—the servants watched his goings and comings—but evidently she thought it inexpedient to do anything drastic.
At times, Derby would suddenly stop revealing things, and I wondered if Asenath could somehow sense what he was saying from a distance and cut him off through some sort of telepathic influence—some ability she had shown back in school. She definitely suspected he was sharing things with me because, as the weeks went on, she tried to end his visits with words and looks that had a mysterious power. It was hard for him to see me; even when he pretended to be heading somewhere else, some unseen force would usually hinder his movements or make him forget where he was going for a while. His visits mostly happened when Asenath was out—“out in her own body,” as he once strangely phrased it. She always found out later—the staff monitored his comings and goings—but clearly, she thought it best not to take any drastic action.
4
4
Derby had been married more than three years on that August day when I got that telegram from Maine. I had not seen him for two months, but had heard he was away "on business". Asenath was supposed to be with him, though watchful gossip declared there was someone upstairs in the house behind the doubly curtained windows. They had watched the purchases made by the servants. And now the town marshal of Chesuncook had wired of the draggled madman who stumbled out of the woods with delirious ravings and screamed to me for protection. It was Edward—and he had been just able to recall his own name and address.
Derby had been married for over three years on that August day when I received that telegram from Maine. I hadn't seen him in two months, but I had heard he was away "on business." Asenath was supposed to be with him, although the gossip was that there was someone else upstairs in the house behind the heavily curtained windows. They had noticed the purchases made by the servants. And now the town marshal of Chesuncook had sent word about the disheveled madman who stumbled out of the woods, rambling incoherently and screaming to me for help. It was Edward—and he had just managed to remember his own name and address.
Chesuncook is close to the wildest, deepest, and least explored forest belt in Maine, and it took a whole day of feverish jolting through fantastic and forbidding scenery to get there in a car. I found Derby in a cell at the town farm, vacillating between frenzy and apathy. He knew me at once, and began pouring out a meaningless, half-incoherent torrent of words in my direction.
Chesuncook is near the wildest, deepest, and least explored forest area in Maine, and it took a whole day of jarring bumps through incredible and intimidating landscapes to reach it by car. I found Derby in a cell at the town farm, swinging between agitation and indifference. He recognized me immediately and started spilling out a rambling, half-crazy stream of words toward me.
"Dan—for God's sake! The pit of the shoggoths! Down the six thousand steps ... the abomination of abominations.... I never would let her take me, and then I found myself there—Iä! Shub-Niggurath!—The shape rose up from the altar, and there were five hundred that howled—the Hooded Thing bleated 'Kamog! Kamog!'—that was old Ephraim's secret name in the coven—I was there, where she promised she wouldn't take me—A minute before I was locked in the library, and then I was there where she had gone with my body—in the place of utter blasphemy, the unholy pit where the black realm begins and the watcher guards the gate—I saw a shoggoth—it changed shape—I can't stand it—I'll kill her if she ever sends me there again—I'll kill that entity—her, him, it—I'll kill it! I'll kill it with my own hands!"
"Dan—what the hell! The pit of the shoggoths! Down the six thousand steps ... the worst of the worst.... I never would let her take me, and then I found myself there—Iä! Shub-Niggurath!—The shape rose from the altar, and five hundred others howled—the Hooded Thing cried 'Kamog! Kamog!'—that was old Ephraim's secret name in the coven—I was there, where she promised she wouldn't take me—Just a minute before, I was locked in the library, and then I was where she had gone with my body—in the place of complete blasphemy, the unholy pit where the dark realm starts and the watcher guards the gate—I saw a shoggoth—it changed shape—I can't take it—I’ll kill her if she ever sends me there again—I’ll kill that entity—her, him, it—I’ll kill it! I’ll kill it with my own hands!"

"The pit of the shoggoths! Down the six thousand steps ... the abomination of abominations."
"The pit of the shoggoths! Down the six thousand steps ... the ultimate abomination."
It took me an hour to quiet him, but he subsided at last. The next day I got him decent clothes in the village, and set out with him for Arkham. His fury of hysteria was spent, and he was inclined to be silent, though he began muttering darkly to himself when the car passed through Augusta—as if the sight of a city aroused unpleasant memories. It was clear that he did not wish to go home; and considering the fantastic delusions he seemed to have about his wife—delusions undoubtedly springing from some actual hypnotic ordeal to which he had been subjected—I thought it would be better if he did not. I would, I resolved, put him up myself for a time, no matter what unpleasantness it would make with Asenath. Later I would help him get a divorce, for most assuredly there were mental factors which made this marriage suicidal for him. When we struck open country again Derby's muttering faded away, and I let him nod and drowse on the seat beside me as I drove.
It took me an hour to calm him down, but he finally settled. The next day, I got him some nice clothes in the village and we headed for Arkham. His outburst of hysteria was over, and he seemed to be quiet, although he started mumbling darkly to himself when we passed through Augusta—like the sight of the city brought back bad memories. It was obvious he didn’t want to go home; and given the strange delusions he had about his wife—clearly stemming from some real hypnotic experience he had gone through—I thought it would be best if he didn’t. I decided I would take him in for a while, regardless of the awkwardness it would cause with Asenath. Later, I would help him get a divorce, because it was clear there were mental issues that made this marriage harmful for him. Once we hit the open country again, Derby’s mumbling faded away, and I let him doze off beside me as I drove.
During our sunset dash through Portland the muttering commenced again, more distinctly than before, and as I listened I caught a stream of utterly insane drivel about Asenath. The extent to which she had preyed on Edward's nerves was plain, for he had woven a whole set of hallucinations around her. His present predicament, he mumbled furtively, was only one of a long series. She was getting hold of him, and he knew that some day she would never let go. Even now she probably let him go only when she had to, because she couldn't hold on long at a time. She constantly took his body and went to nameless places for nameless rites, leaving him in her body and locking him upstairs—but sometimes she couldn't hold on, and he would find himself suddenly in his own body again in some far-off, horrible and perhaps unknown place. Sometimes she'd get hold of him again and sometimes she couldn't. Often he was left stranded somewhere as I had found him; time and again he had to find his way home from frightful distances, getting somebody to drive the car after he found it.
During our sunset rush through Portland, the muttering started again, clearer than before. As I listened, I caught a flow of completely crazy talk about Asenath. It was obvious how much she had gotten under Edward's skin since he had created a whole set of delusions around her. He quietly mumbled that his current situation was just one of many. She was gaining control over him, and he knew that one day she would never let go. Even now, she probably only let him go when she had to because she couldn't hold on for long. She often took his body to unknown places for mysterious rituals, leaving him trapped in her body and locked away—but sometimes she couldn’t maintain that grip, and he would suddenly find himself back in his own body, in some distant, terrifying, and possibly unfamiliar place. Sometimes she would take him again, and sometimes she wouldn't. Often, he was left stranded, just like I found him; time and again, he had to figure out how to get home from terrifying distances, eventually getting someone to drive the car after he found it.
The worst thing was that she was holding on to him longer and longer at a time. She wanted to be a man—to be fully human—that was why she got hold of him. She had sensed the mixture of fine-wrought brain and weak will in him. Some day she would crowd him out and disappear with his body—disappear to become a great magician like her father and leave him marooned in that female shell that wasn't even quite human. Yes, he knew about the Innsmouth blood now. There had been traffic with things from the sea—it was horrible.... And old Ephraim—he had known the secret, and when he grew old did a hideous thing to keep alive—he wanted to live for ever—Asenath would succeed—one successful demonstration had taken place already.
The worst part was that she was holding on to him longer and longer each time. She wanted to be a man—to be completely human—that's why she clung to him. She could sense the blend of a sharp mind and a weak will in him. Someday she would push him aside and vanish with his body—vanish to become a great magician like her father and leave him trapped in that female form that wasn't even fully human. Yes, he was aware of the Innsmouth blood now. There had been dealings with things from the sea—it was terrifying.... And old Ephraim—he had known the secret, and when he got old, he did a terrible thing to stay alive—he wanted to live forever—Asenath would succeed—one successful demonstration had already happened.
As Derby muttered on I turned to look at him closely, verifying the impression of change which an earlier scrutiny had given me. Paradoxically, he seemed in better shape than usual—harder, more normally developed, and without the trace of sickly flabbiness caused by his indolent habits. It was as if he had been really active and properly exercised for the first time in his coddled life, and I judged that Asenath's force must have pushed him into unwonted channels of motion and alertness. But just now his mind was in a pitiable state; for he was mumbling wild extravagances about his wife, about black magic, about old Ephraim, and about some revelation which would convince even me. He repeated names which I recognized from bygone browsings in forbidden volumes, and at times made me shudder with a certain thread of mythological consistency—of convincing coherence—which ran through his maundering. Again and again he would pause, as if to gather courage for some final and terrible disclosure.
As Derby rambled on, I turned to look at him closely, confirming the feeling of change I had noticed before. Ironically, he seemed to be in better shape than usual—more toned, more normally developed, and without the hint of sickly flabbiness that came from his lazy lifestyle. It was as if he had actually been active and exercised properly for the first time in his pampered life, and I figured that Asenath's influence must have pushed him into unfamiliar patterns of movement and alertness. But right now, his mind was in a sad state; he was mumbling strange nonsense about his wife, about black magic, about old Ephraim, and about some revelation that would even convince me. He repeated names I recognized from past readings of forbidden books, and sometimes he made me shudder with a certain unsettling consistency—a compelling coherence—was present in his ramblings. Over and over, he would pause, as if gathering courage for some final, horrifying revelation.
"Dan, Dan, don't you remember him—the wild eyes and the unkempt beard that never turned white? He glared at me once, and I never forgot it. Now she glares that way. And I know why! He found it in the Necronomicon—the formula. I don't dare tell you the page yet, but when I do you can read and understand. Then you will know what has engulfed me. On, on, on, on—body to body to body—he means never to die. The life-glow—he knows how to break the link ... it can flicker on a while even when the body is dead. I'll give you hints and maybe you'll guess. Listen, Dan—do you know why my wife always takes such pains with that silly back-hand writing? Have you ever seen a manuscript of old Ephraim's? Do you want to know why I shivered when I saw some hasty notes Asenath had jotted down?
"Dan, Dan, don't you remember him—the wild eyes and the messy beard that never turned white? He glared at me once, and I never forgot it. Now she glares that way. And I know why! He found it in the Necronomicon—the formula. I won't tell you the page just yet, but when I do, you can read and understand. Then you will know what has consumed me. On, on, on, on—body to body to body—he means never to die. The life-glow—he knows how to break the link ... it can flicker on for a while even when the body is dead. I'll give you hints and maybe you'll guess. Listen, Dan—do you know why my wife always puts so much effort into that silly backhand writing? Have you ever seen a manuscript of old Ephraim's? Do you want to know why I shivered when I saw some quick notes Asenath had written down?
"Asenath—is there such a person? Why did they half think there was poison in old Ephraim's stomach? Why do the Gilmans whisper about the way he shrieked—like a frightened child—when he went mad and Asenath locked him up in the padded attic room where—the other—had been? Was it old Ephraim's soul that was locked in? Who locked in whom? Why had he been looking for months for someone with a fine mind and a weak will? Why did he curse that his daughter wasn't a son? Tell me, Daniel Upton—what devilish exchange was perpetrated in the house of horror where that blasphemous monster had his trusting, weak-willed, half-human child at his mercy? Didn't he make it permanent—as she'll do in the end with me? Tell me why that thing that calls itself Asenath writes differently off guard, so that you can't tell its script from——"
"Asenath—is there really someone by that name? Why did people suspect there was poison in old Ephraim’s stomach? Why do the Gilmans gossip about how he screamed—like a scared child—when he lost his mind and Asenath locked him away in the padded attic room where—the other—had been? Was it old Ephraim's soul that was trapped in there? Who was really trapped? Why had he been searching for months for someone with a sharp mind and a weak will? Why did he lament that his daughter wasn’t a son? Tell me, Daniel Upton—what dark deal took place in that house of nightmares where that blasphemous monster had his trusting, weak-willed, half-human child under his control? Didn’t he make it permanent—like she’ll do with me in the end? Tell me why that thing calling itself Asenath writes differently when caught off guard, so that you can’t tell its writing from——"
Then the thing happened. Derby's voice was rising to a thin treble scream as he raved, when suddenly it was shut off with an almost mechanical click. I thought of those other occasions at my home when his confidences had abruptly ceased—when I had half fancied that some obscure telepathic wave of Asenath's mental force was intervening to keep him silent. This, though, was something altogether different—and, I felt, infinitely more horrible. The face beside me was twisted almost unrecognizably for a moment, while through the whole body there passed a shivering motion—as if all the bones, organs, muscles, nerves, and glands were re-adjusting themselves to a radically different posture, set of stresses, and general personality.
Then the thing happened. Derby's voice was climbing to a high-pitched scream as he raved, when suddenly it was shut off with what felt like a mechanical click. I thought of those other times at my home when his confidences had suddenly stopped—when I had almost imagined that some obscure telepathic wave from Asenath's mind was intervening to keep him quiet. This, though, was something totally different—and, I felt, infinitely more terrifying. The face next to me was twisted almost beyond recognition for a moment, while a shivering motion passed through the entire body—as if all the bones, organs, muscles, nerves, and glands were adjusting themselves to a completely different posture, set of stresses, and overall personality.
Just where the supreme horror lay, I could not for my life tell; yet there swept over me such a swamping wave of sickness and repulsion—such a freezing, petrifying sense of utter alienage and abnormality—that my grasp of the wheel grew feeble and uncertain. The figure beside me seemed less like a life-long friend than like some monstrous intrusion from outer space—some damnable, utterly accursed focus of unknown and malign cosmic forces.
Just where the ultimate terror was, I couldn't figure out for the life of me; yet an overwhelming wave of nausea and disgust washed over me—like a chilling, paralyzing feeling of complete foreignness and strangeness—that my grip on the wheel became weak and shaky. The figure next to me felt less like a lifelong friend and more like some monstrous invasion from another world—some damned, completely cursed embodiment of unknown and wicked cosmic forces.
I had faltered only a moment, but before another moment was over my companion had seized the wheel and forced me to change places with him. The dusk was now very thick, and the lights of Portland far behind; so I could not see much of his face. The blaze of his eyes, though, was phenomenal; and I knew that he must now be in that queerly energized state—so unlike his usual self—which so many people had noticed. It seemed odd and incredible that listless Edward Derby—he who could never assert himself, and who had never learned to drive—should be ordering me about and taking the wheel of my own car; yet that was precisely what had happened. He did not speak for some time, and in my inexplicable horror I was glad he did not.
I had hesitated for just a moment, but before I knew it, my companion had grabbed the steering wheel and forced me to swap places with him. The dusk was now really thick, and the lights of Portland were far behind, so I couldn't see much of his face. However, the intensity of his eyes was striking, and I realized he must be in that unusual, energized state—so different from his usual self—that so many people had noticed. It seemed strange and unbelievable that the lethargic Edward Derby—who could never stand up for himself and had never learned to drive—was now bossing me around and taking control of my own car; yet that's exactly what had happened. He didn't say anything for a while, and in my confusing fear, I was actually relieved he didn't.
In the lights of Biddeford and Saco I saw his firmly set mouth, and shivered at the blaze of his eyes. The people were right—he did look damnably like his wife and like old Ephraim when in these moods. I did not wonder that the moods were disliked—there was certainly something unnatural in them, and I felt the sinister element all the more because of the wild ravings I had been hearing. This man, for all my life-long knowledge of Edward Pickman Derby, was a stranger—an intrusion of some sort from the black abyss.
In the lights of Biddeford and Saco, I saw his tightly set mouth and shivered at the intensity of his eyes. People were right—he did look a lot like his wife and like old Ephraim when he was in these moods. I understood why these moods were disliked; there was definitely something off about them, and I felt the unsettling quality even more because of the crazy things I had been hearing. This man, despite my lifelong familiarity with Edward Pickman Derby, felt like a stranger—an unwelcome presence from some dark void.
He did not speak until we were on a dark stretch of road, and when he did his voice seemed utterly unfamiliar. It was deeper, firmer, and more decisive than I had ever known it to be; while its accent and pronunciation were altogether changed—though vaguely, remotely, and rather disturbingly recalling something I could not quite place. There was, I thought, a trace of very profound and very genuine irony in the timbre—not the flashy, meaninglessly jaunty pseudo-irony of the callow "sophisticate", which Derby had habitually affected, but something grim, basic, pervasive, and potentially evil. I marveled at the self-possession so soon following the spell of panic-struck muttering.
He didn't say anything until we were on a dark stretch of road, and when he finally spoke, his voice sounded completely different. It was deeper, steadier, and more decisive than I had ever heard before; the way he spoke and his pronunciation were completely altered—yet somehow, faintly, and a bit unsettlingly, reminiscent of something I couldn't quite put my finger on. I thought I could detect a hint of deep and genuine irony in his tone—not the flashy, empty irony of the self-styled "sophisticate" that Derby usually showed off, but something grim, fundamental, all-encompassing, and possibly sinister. I was amazed by how composed he was so quickly after the panic-driven mumbling.
"I hope you'll forget my attack back there, Upton," he was saying. "You know what my nerves are, and I guess you can excuse such things. I'm enormously grateful, of course, for this lift home.
"I hope you can overlook my outburst earlier, Upton," he said. "You know how my nerves are, and I trust you can forgive such moments. I'm really thankful, of course, for this ride home."
"And you must forget, too, any crazy things I may have been saying about my wife—and about things in general. That's what comes from overstudy in a field like mine. My philosophy is full of bizarre concepts, and when the mind gets worn out it cooks up all sorts of imaginary concrete applications. I shall take a rest from now on—you probably won't see me for some time, and you needn't blame Asenath for it.
"And you need to forget any wild things I might have said about my wife—and about life in general. That’s what happens when you overthink in a field like mine. My philosophy is filled with weird ideas, and when my mind gets exhausted, it conjures up all kinds of made-up scenarios. I'm going to take a break from now on—you probably won’t see me for a while, and you shouldn’t blame Asenath for it."
"This trip was a bit queer, but it's really very simple. There are certain Indian relics in the north woods—standing stones, and all that—which mean a good deal in folklore, and Asenath and I are following that stuff up. It was a hard search, so I seem to have gone off my head. I must send somebody for the car when I get home. A month's relaxation will put me on my feet."
"This trip was kind of strange, but it's really pretty straightforward. There are some Native American artifacts in the northern woods—standing stones and everything—that hold a lot of meaning in folklore, and Asenath and I are looking into that. It was a tough search, so I feel like I’ve lost my mind a bit. I need to have someone grab the car when I get home. A month of downtime will get me back on track."
I do not recall just what my own part of the conversation was, for the baffling alienage of my seatmate filled all my consciousness. With every moment my feeling of elusive cosmic horror increased, till at length I was in a virtual delirium of longing for the end of the drive. Derby did not offer to relinquish the wheel, and I was glad of the speed with which Portsmouth and Newburyport flashed by.
I can't remember what I said during the conversation because the strange otherness of my seatmate took up all my attention. With each passing moment, my sense of unsettling cosmic dread grew, and soon I was in a near delirium, just wanting the drive to be over. Derby didn't offer to take a break from driving, and I was relieved by how quickly we sped past Portsmouth and Newburyport.
At the junction where the main highway runs inland and avoids Innsmouth, I was half afraid my driver would take the bleak shore road that goes through that damnable place. He did not, however, but darted rapidly past Rowley and Ipswich toward our destination. We reached Arkham before midnight, and found the lights still on at the old Crowninshield house. Derby left the car with a hasty repetition of his thanks, and I drove home alone with a curious feeling of relief. It had been a terrible drive—all the more terrible because I could not quite tell why—and I did not regret Derby's forecast of a long absence from my company.
At the point where the main highway goes inland to avoid Innsmouth, I was a bit worried my driver would take the grim coastal road through that cursed place. Fortunately, he didn't, and sped quickly past Rowley and Ipswich towards our destination. We got to Arkham before midnight and saw that the lights were still on at the old Crowninshield house. Derby got out of the car, quickly thanking me again, and I drove home alone with a strange sense of relief. It had been a rough drive—especially since I couldn't quite figure out why—and I didn't mind Derby's prediction of a long break from my company.
5
5
The next two months were full of rumors. People spoke of seeing Derby more and more in his new energized state, and Asenath was scarcely ever in to her callers. I had only one visit from Edward, when he called briefly in Asenath's car—duly reclaimed from wherever he had left it in Maine—to get some books he had lent me. He was in his new state, and paused only long enough for some evasively polite remarks. It was plain that he had nothing to discuss with me when in this condition—and I noticed that he did not even trouble to give the old three-and-two signal when ringing the door-bell. As on that evening in the car, I felt a faint, infinitely deep horror which I could not explain; so that his swift departure was a prodigious relief.
The next two months were filled with rumors. People talked about seeing Derby more and more in his new energized state, and Asenath was hardly ever home for her visitors. I had only one visit from Edward, when he briefly dropped by in Asenath's car—returned from wherever he had left it in Maine—to pick up some books he had lent me. He was in his new state and only paused for some vaguely polite comments. It was obvious that he had nothing to talk about with me in this condition—and I noticed that he didn't even bother to give the old three-and-two signal when ringing the doorbell. Just like that evening in the car, I felt a faint, deep horror that I couldn't explain; so his quick departure was a huge relief.
In mid-September Derby was away for a week, and some of the decadent college set talked knowingly of the matter—hinting at a meeting with a notorious cult-leader, lately expelled from England, who had established head-quarters in New York. For my part I could not get that strange ride from Maine out of my head. The transformation I had witnessed had affected me profoundly, and I caught myself again and again trying to account for the thing—and for the extreme horror it had inspired in me.
In mid-September, Derby was gone for a week, and some of the posh college crowd talked about it as if they knew everything—hinting at a meeting with a famous cult leader, recently kicked out of England, who had set up shop in New York. For my part, I couldn’t shake that bizarre trip from Maine out of my mind. The change I had seen really impacted me, and I found myself repeatedly trying to make sense of it—and the deep fear it had stirred in me.
But the oddest rumors were those about the sobbing in the old Crowninshield house. The voice seemed to be a woman's, and some of the younger people thought it sounded like Asenath's. It was heard only at rare intervals, and would sometimes be choked off as if by force. There was talk of an investigation, but this was dispelled one day when Asenath appeared in the streets and chatted in a sprightly way with a large number of acquaintances—apologizing for her recent absence and speaking incidentally about the nervous breakdown and hysteria of a guest from Boston. The guest was never seen, but Asenath's appearance left nothing to be said. And then someone complicated matters by whispering that the sobs had once or twice been in a man's voice.
But the weirdest rumors were about the crying in the old Crowninshield house. The voice sounded like a woman's, and some of the younger people thought it resembled Asenath's. It was heard only occasionally and would sometimes suddenly stop as if interrupted. There was talk of an investigation, but that was dismissed one day when Asenath was seen in the streets chatting cheerfully with a lot of acquaintances—apologizing for her recent absence and casually mentioning the nervous breakdown and hysteria of a guest from Boston. The guest was never seen, but Asenath's appearance left no doubts. Then someone added to the confusion by suggesting that the sobs had occasionally sounded like they came from a man.
One evening in mid-October I heard the familiar three-and-two ring at the front door. Answering it myself, I found Edward on the steps, and saw in a moment that his personality was the old one which I had not encountered since the day of his ravings on that terrible ride from Chesuncook. His face was twitching with a mixture of odd emotions in which fear and triumph seemed to share dominion, and he looked furtively over his shoulder as I closed the door behind him.
One evening in mid-October, I heard the familiar three-and-two ring at the front door. When I answered it myself, I found Edward on the steps, and I quickly realized he was the same as he had been back on that horrible ride from Chesuncook. His face was twitching with a mix of strange emotions where fear and triumph seemed to take control, and he glanced over his shoulder as I closed the door behind him.
Following me clumsily to the study, he asked for some whisky to steady his nerves. I forbore to question him, but waited till he felt like beginning whatever he wanted to say. At length he ventured some information in a choking voice.
Following me awkwardly to the study, he asked for some whisky to calm his nerves. I held back from asking him anything, but waited until he was ready to share whatever he wanted to say. Finally, he hesitantly offered some information in a shaky voice.
"Asenath has gone, Dan. We had a long talk last night while the servants were out, and I made her promise to stop preying on me. Of course I had certain—certain occult defenses I never told you about. She had to give in, but got frightfully angry. Just packed up and started for New York—walked right out to catch the 8:20 in to Boston. I suppose people will talk, but I can't help that. You needn't mention that there was any trouble—just say she's gone on a long research trip.
"Asenath is gone, Dan. We had a long conversation last night while the servants were away, and I made her promise to stop bothering me. Of course, I had some—some secret defenses I never told you about. She had to relent but got incredibly angry. Just packed her things and left for New York—walked straight out to catch the 8:20 into Boston. I guess people will talk, but I can’t do anything about that. You don’t need to mention that there was any trouble—just say she’s gone on a long research trip."
"She's probably going to stay with one of her horrible groups of devotees. I hope she'll go west and get a divorce—anyhow, I've made her promise to keep away and let me alone. It was horrible, Dan—she was stealing my body—crowding me out—making a prisoner of me. I lay low and pretended to let her do it, but I had to be on the watch. I could plan if I was careful, for she can't read my mind literally, or in detail. All she could read of my planning was a sort of general mood of rebellion—and she always thought I was helpless. Never thought I could get the best of her ... but I had a spell or two that worked."
"She's probably going to hang out with one of her terrible groups of followers. I really hope she goes west and gets a divorce—anyway, I've made her promise to stay away and leave me alone. It was awful, Dan—she was taking over my body—pushing me out—trapping me. I kept a low profile and pretended to let her do it, but I had to stay vigilant. I could strategize if I was careful, because she can't read my mind literally or in detail. All she could sense about my plans was a kind of general feeling of rebellion—and she always thought I was powerless. She never imagined I could outsmart her ... but I had a trick or two that actually worked."
Derby looked over his shoulder and took some more whisky.
Derby glanced back and took another sip of whisky.
"I paid off those damned servants this morning when they got back. They were ugly about it, and asked questions, but they went. They're her kind—Innsmouth people—and were hand and glove with her. I hope they'll let me alone—I didn't like the way they laughed when they walked away. I must get as many of Dad's old servants again as I can. I'll move back home now.
"I paid off those damn servants this morning when they came back. They were rude about it and asked a lot of questions, but they left. They're her type—Innsmouth people—and were really close with her. I hope they'll leave me alone—I didn’t like how they laughed as they walked away. I need to get as many of Dad's old servants back as I can. I'm moving back home now."
"I suppose you think I'm crazy, Dan—but Arkham history ought to hint at things that back up what I've told you—and what I'm going to tell you. You've seen one of the changes, too—in your car after I told you about Asenath that day coming home from Maine. That was when she got me—drove me out of my body. The last thing I remember was when I was all worked up trying to tell you what that she-devil is. Then she got me, and in a flash I was back at the house—in the library where those damned servants had me locked up—and in that cursed fiend's body ... that isn't even human.... You know it was she you must have ridden home with—that preying wolf in my body—you ought to have known the difference!"
"I guess you think I'm nuts, Dan—but Arkham history should give you clues that support what I've told you—and what I'm about to share. You've noticed one of the changes too—in your car after I told you about Asenath that day coming back from Maine. That was when she got me—pulled me out of my body. The last thing I remember is being all worked up trying to explain to you what that she-devil is. Then she got me, and in an instant I was back at the house—in the library where those damned servants had me locked up—and in that cursed fiend's body ... that isn't even human.... You know it was her you must have driven home with—that predatory wolf in my body—you should have known the difference!"
I shuddered as Derby paused. Surely, I had known the difference—yet could I accept an explanation as insane as this? But my distracted caller was growing even wilder.
I shuddered as Derby paused. Surely, I had known the difference—yet could I accept an explanation as crazy as this? But my distracted caller was getting even more out of control.
"I had to save myself—I had to, Dan! She'd have got me for good at Hallowmass—they hold a Sabbat up there beyond Chesuncook, and the sacrifice would have clinched things. She'd have got me for good—she'd have been I, and I'd have been she—for ever—too late—My body'd have been hers for good—She'd have been a man, and fully human, just as she wanted to be—I suppose she'd have put me out of the way—killed her own ex-body with me in it, damn her, just as she did before—just as she, he, or it did before——"
"I had to save myself—I had to, Dan! She would have taken me for good at Hallowmass—they have a Sabbat out there beyond Chesuncook, and the sacrifice would have sealed the deal. She would have had me for good—she would have been me, and I would have been her—for eternity—too late—My body would have been hers permanently—She’d have been a man, fully human, just like she wanted to be—I guess she would have gotten rid of me—killed her own ex-body with me in it, damn her, just like she did before—just like she, he, or it did before——"
Edward's face was now atrociously distorted, and he bent it uncomfortably close to mine as his voice fell to a whisper.
Edward's face was now horribly twisted, and he leaned it uncomfortably close to mine as his voice dropped to a whisper.
"You must know what I hinted in the car—that she isn't Asenath at all, but really old Ephraim himself. I suspected it a year and a half ago, and I know it now. Her handwriting shows it when she goes off guard—sometimes she jots down a note in writing that's just like her father's manuscripts, stroke for stroke—and sometimes she says things that nobody but an old man like Ephraim could say. He changed forms with her when he felt death coming—she was the only one he could find with the right kind of brain and a weak enough will—he got her body permanently, just as she almost got mine, and then poisoned the old body he'd put her into. Haven't you seen old Ephraim's soul glaring out of that she-devil's eyes dozens of times—and out of mine when she has control of my body?"
"You need to understand what I hinted at in the car—that she isn't Asenath at all, but really old Ephraim himself. I suspected it a year and a half ago, and I know it for sure now. Her handwriting reveals it when she lets her guard down—sometimes she writes notes that are identical to her father’s manuscripts, stroke for stroke—and sometimes she says things that only an old man like Ephraim would say. He switched places with her when he sensed death approaching—she was the only one he could find with the right kind of mind and a weak enough will—he took over her body for good, just as she almost took mine, and then poisoned the old body he had put her into. Haven't you seen old Ephraim's soul glaring out of that she-devil's eyes dozens of times—and out of mine when she has control of my body?"
The whisperer was panting, and paused for breath. I said nothing, and when he resumed, his voice was nearer normal. This, I reflected, was a case for the asylum, but I would not be the one to send him there. Perhaps time and freedom from Asenath would do its work. I could see that he would never wish to dabble in morbid occultism again.
The whisperer was breathing heavily and took a break to catch his breath. I said nothing, and when he continued, his voice sounded almost normal. I thought to myself that this was a situation that called for a mental health facility, but I wouldn’t be the one to send him there. Maybe time and being away from Asenath would help. I could tell he would never want to get involved in dark occult stuff again.
"I'll tell you more later—I must have a long rest now. I'll tell you something of the forbidden horrors she led me into—something of the age-old horrors that even now are festering in out-of-the-way corners with a few monstrous priests to keep them alive. Some people know things about the universe that nobody ought to know, and can do things that nobody ought to be able to do. I've been in it up to my neck, but that's the end. Today I'd burn that damned Necronomicon and all the rest if I were librarian at Miskatonic.
"I'll share more later—I really need a long break right now. I'll tell you about some of the forbidden horrors she led me into—some of the age-old terrors that are still lurking in obscure places with a few monstrous priests keeping them alive. Some people know things about the universe that no one should know, and can do things that no one should be able to do. I've been deep in it, but that’s over now. Today, I'd burn that damn Necronomicon and everything else if I were the librarian at Miskatonic."
"But she can't get me now. I must get out of that accursed house as soon as I can, and settle down at home. You'll help me, I know, if I need help. Those devilish servants, you know—and if people should get too inquisitive about Asenath. You see, I can't give them her address.... Then there are certain groups of searchers—certain cults, you know—that might misunderstand our breaking up ... some of them have damnably curious ideas and methods. I know you'll stand by me if anything happens—even if I have to tell you a lot that will shock you...."
"But she can't reach me now. I need to get out of that cursed house as soon as possible and settle down at home. I know you'll help me if I need it. Those awful servants, you know—and if people start asking too many questions about Asenath. The thing is, I can't give them her address... Then there are certain groups of searchers—certain cults, you know—that might misinterpret our breakup... some of them have ridiculously curious ideas and methods. I know you'll stand by me if anything happens—even if I have to share some stuff that will shock you..."
I had Edward stay and sleep in one of the guest-chambers that night, and in the morning he seemed calmer. We discussed certain possible arrangements for his moving back into the Derby mansion, and I hoped he would lose no time in making the change.
I had Edward stay and sleep in one of the guest rooms that night, and in the morning he seemed more relaxed. We talked about some possible plans for him moving back into the Derby mansion, and I hoped he wouldn't waste any time making the switch.
He did not call the next evening, but I saw him frequently during the ensuing weeks. We talked as little as possible about strange and unpleasant things, but discussed the renovation of the old Derby house, and the travels which Edward promised to take with my son and me the following summer.
He didn’t call the next evening, but I saw him often in the weeks that followed. We tried to avoid talking about strange and uncomfortable topics, instead discussing the renovation of the old Derby house and the trips Edward promised to take with my son and me the next summer.
Of Asenath we said almost nothing, for I saw that the subject was a peculiarly disturbing one. Gossip, of course, was rife; but that was no novelty in connection with the strange menage at the old Crowninshield house. One thing I did not like was what Derby's banker let fall in an over-expansive mood at the Miskatonic Club—about the checks Edward was sending regularly to a Moses and Abigail Sargent and a Eunice Babson in Innsmouth. That looked as if those evil-faced servants were extorting some kind of tribute from him—yet he had not mentioned the matter to me.
Of Asenath, we barely mentioned anything because I realized it was a particularly unsettling topic. There was, of course, plenty of gossip, but that was nothing new when it came to the unusual situation at the old Crowninshield house. One thing I found troubling was a comment made by Derby's banker during a chat at the Miskatonic Club—about the checks Edward was consistently sending to a Moses and Abigail Sargent and a Eunice Babson in Innsmouth. That made it seem like those sinister-looking servants were pressuring him for some sort of payment—yet he hadn’t brought it up with me.
I wished that the summer—and my son's Harvard vacation—would come, so that we could get Edward to Europe. He was not, I soon saw, mending as rapidly as I had hoped he would; for there was something a bit hysterical in his occasional exhilaration, while his moods of fright and depression were altogether too frequent. The old Derby house was ready by December, yet Edward constantly put off moving. Though he hated and seemed to fear the Crowninshield place, he was at the same time queerly enslaved by it. He could not seem to begin dismantling things, and invented every kind of excuse to postpone action. When I pointed this out to him he appeared unaccountably frightened. His father's old butler—who was there with other re-acquired servants—told me one day that Edward's occasional prowlings about the house, and especially down cellar, looked odd and unwholesome to him. I wondered if Asenath had been writing disturbing letters, but the butler said there was no mail which could have come from her.
I wished that summer—and my son's vacation from Harvard—would arrive, so we could get Edward to Europe. I quickly realized that he wasn't improving as fast as I had hoped; there was something a bit frantic about his moments of excitement, while his episodes of fear and sadness were far too common. The old Derby house was ready by December, but Edward kept delaying the move. Even though he hated and seemed to fear the Crowninshield place, he was oddly trapped by it. He couldn't seem to start packing things up and came up with all sorts of excuses to put it off. When I pointed this out to him, he looked inexplicably scared. His father's old butler—who was there with some other staff we got back—told me one day that Edward's random wandering around the house, especially in the basement, seemed strange and unhealthy to him. I wondered if Asenath had been sending unsettling letters, but the butler said there was no mail that could have come from her.
It was about Christmas that Derby broke down one evening while calling on me. I was steering the conversation toward next summer's travels when he suddenly shrieked and leaped up from his chair with a look of shocking, uncontrollable fright—a cosmic panic and loathing such as only the nether gulfs of nightmare could bring to any sane mind.
It was around Christmas when Derby had a breakdown one evening while visiting me. I was steering the conversation toward our travel plans for next summer when he suddenly screamed and jumped out of his chair, his face contorted with terrifying, uncontrollable fear—a deep panic and disgust that could only come from the darkest depths of a nightmare, even for a rational person.
"My brain! My brain! God, Dan—it's tugging—from beyond—knocking—clawing—that she-devil—even now—Ephraim—Kamog! Kamog!—The pit of the shoggoths—Iä! Shub-Niggurath! The Goat with a Thousand Young!...
"My brain! My brain! God, Dan—it's pulling—from beyond—pounding—scratching—that she-devil—even now—Ephraim—Kamog! Kamog!—The pit of the shoggoths—Iä! Shub-Niggurath! The Goat with a Thousand Young!...
"The flame—the flame—beyond body, beyond life—in the earth—oh, God!..."
"The flame—the flame—beyond the body, beyond life—in the earth—oh, God!..."
I pulled him back to his chair and poured some wine down his throat as his frenzy sank to a dull apathy. He did not resist, but kept his lips moving as if talking to himself. Presently I realized that he was trying to talk to me, and bent my ear to his mouth to catch the feeble words.
I pulled him back to his chair and poured some wine down his throat as his excitement faded into a dull indifference. He didn’t fight it, but kept moving his lips as if he were talking to himself. Eventually, I realized he was trying to speak to me, so I leaned in closer to hear his weak words.
"——again, again—she's trying—I might have known—nothing can stop that force; not distance, nor magic, nor death—it comes and comes, mostly in the night—I can't leave—it's horrible—oh, God, Dan, if you only knew as I do just how horrible it is!..."
"——again, again—she's trying—I should have known—nothing can stop that force; not distance, not magic, not even death—it keeps coming, mostly at night—I can't leave—it's awful—oh, God, Dan, if you only knew like I do just how awful it is!..."
When he had slumped down into a stupor I propped him with pillows and let normal sleep overtake him. I did not call a doctor, for I knew what would be said of his sanity, and wished to give nature a chance if I possibly could. He waked at midnight, and I put him to bed upstairs, but he was gone by morning. He had let himself quietly out of the house—and his butler, when called on the wire, said he was at home pacing restlessly about the library.
When he collapsed into a stupor, I propped him up with pillows and let him fall into a normal sleep. I didn’t call a doctor because I knew what they would say about his mental state, and I wanted to give nature a chance if I could. He woke up at midnight, and I sent him to bed upstairs, but he was gone by morning. He had quietly left the house—and his butler, when I called, said he was at home pacing restlessly in the library.
6
6
Edward went to pieces rapidly after that. He did not call again, but I went daily to see him. He would always be sitting in his library, staring at nothing and having an air of abnormal listening. Sometimes he talked rationally, but always on trivial topics. Any mention of his trouble, of future plans, or of Asenath would send him into a frenzy. His butler said he had frightful seizures at night, during which he might eventually do himself harm.
Edward fell apart quickly after that. He didn’t call again, but I went to see him every day. He would always be sitting in his library, staring into space and giving off an odd vibe of listening. Sometimes he spoke clearly, but only about unimportant things. Any mention of his problems, future plans, or Asenath would send him into a rage. His butler said he had terrible seizures at night, during which he might end up hurting himself.
I had a long talk with his doctor, banker, and lawyer, and finally took the physician with two specialist colleagues to visit him. The spasms that resulted from the first questions were violent and pitiable—and that evening a closed car took his poor struggling body to the Arkham Sanitarium. I was made his guardian and called on him twice weekly—almost weeping to hear his wild shrieks, awesome whispers, and dreadful, droning repetitions of such phrases as "I had to do it—I had to do it—it'll get me—it'll get me—down there—down there in the dark—Mother! Mother! Dan! Save me—save me——"
I had a long conversation with his doctor, banker, and lawyer, and finally took the doctor along with two specialists to visit him. The spasms that came from the first questions were intense and heartbreaking—and that evening, a closed car transported his poor, struggling body to the Arkham Sanitarium. I became his guardian and visited him twice a week—almost crying when I heard his wild screams, haunting whispers, and terrible, repetitive phrases like "I had to do it—I had to do it—it'll get me—it'll get me—down there—down there in the dark—Mother! Mother! Dan! Save me—save me——"
How much hope of recovery there was, no one could say, but I tried my best to be optimistic. Edward must have a home if he emerged, so I transferred his servants to the Derby mansion, which would surely be his sane choice. What to do about the Crowninshield place with its complex arrangements and collections of utterly inexplicable objects I could not decide, so left it momentarily untouched—telling the Derby household to go over and dust the chief rooms once a week, and ordering the furnace man to have a fire on those days.
How much hope there was for recovery, no one could tell, but I did my best to stay positive. Edward had to have a home if he came back, so I moved his staff to the Derby mansion, which would definitely be the sensible choice for him. I couldn’t figure out what to do with the Crowninshield place, with its complicated setups and collections of completely mysterious objects, so I left it alone for the time being—telling the Derby household to dust the main rooms once a week and instructing the furnace guy to keep a fire going on those days.
The final nightmare came before Candlemas—heralded, in cruel irony, by a false gleam of hope. One morning late in January the sanitarium telephoned to report that Edward's reason had suddenly come back. His continuous memory, they said, was badly impaired; but sanity itself was certain. Of course he must remain some time for observation, but there could be little doubt of the outcome. All going well, he would surely be free in a week.
The final nightmare hit before Candlemas—ironically signaled by a false glimmer of hope. One morning in late January, the sanitarium called to say that Edward had suddenly regained his sanity. They mentioned that his continuous memory was significantly impaired, but he was definitely sane. He would need to stay for a while for observation, but there was little doubt about the result. If all went well, he would definitely be free in a week.
I hastened over in a flood of delight, but stood bewildered when a nurse took me to Edward's room. The patient rose to greet me, extending his hand with a polite smile; but I saw in an instant that he bore the strangely energized personality which had seemed so foreign to his own nature—the competent personality I had found so vaguely horrible, and which Edward himself had once vowed was the intruding soul of his wife. There was the same blazing vision—so like Asenath's and old Ephraim's—and the same firm mouth! and when he spoke I could sense the same grim, pervasive irony in his voice—the deep irony so redolent of potential evil. This was the person who had driven my car through the night five months before—the person I had not seen since that brief call when he had forgotten the old-time door-bell signal and stirred such nebulous fears in me—and now he filled me with the same dim feeling of blasphemous alienage and ineffable cosmic hideousness.
I rushed in, filled with joy, but froze in confusion when a nurse led me to Edward's room. He got up to greet me, extending his hand with a polite smile, but I immediately noticed he had this strangely vibrant personality that felt so unlike his true self—the capable persona that I had found vaguely unsettling, which Edward himself had once claimed was the invading spirit of his wife. There was that same intense vision—so reminiscent of Asenath's and old Ephraim's—and the same determined mouth! And when he spoke, I could detect the same deep, pervasive irony in his voice—a deep irony that hinted at potential evil. This was the person who had driven my car through the night five months ago—the one I hadn't seen since that brief visit when he had forgotten the old doorbell signal and stirred up such vague fears in me—and now he filled me with that same eerie sense of blasphemous foreignness and indescribable cosmic ugliness.
He spoke affably of arrangements for release—and there was nothing for me to do but assent, despite some remarkable gaps in his recent memories. Yet I felt that something was terribly, inexplicably wrong and abnormal. There were horrors in this thing that I could not reach. This was a sane person—but was it indeed the Edward Derby I had known? If not, who or what was it—and where was Edward? Ought it to be free or confined—or ought it to be extirpated from the face of the earth? There was a hint of the abysmally sardonic in everything the creature said—the Asenath-like eyes lent a special and baffling mockery to certain words about the early liberty earned by an especially close confinement! I must have behaved very awkwardly, and was glad to beat a retreat.
He talked casually about the plans for release—and I had no choice but to agree, even though there were some striking holes in his recent memories. Still, I sensed that something was horribly, inexplicably off. There were terrors in this situation that I couldn’t grasp. This was a sane person—but was it really the Edward Derby I had known? If not, who or what was it—and where was Edward? Should it be free or locked away—or should it be completely wiped out? There was a hint of dark sarcasm in everything the creature said—the Asenath-like eyes added a strange and confusing mockery to certain comments about the early freedom gained through an especially close confinement! I must have acted very awkwardly, and I was relieved to make my exit.
All that day and the next I racked my brain over the problem. What had happened? What sort of mind looked out through those alien eyes in Edward's face? I could think of nothing but this dimly terrible enigma, and gave up all efforts to perform my usual work. The second morning the hospital called up to say that the recovered patient was unchanged, and by evening I was close to a nervous collapse—a state I admit, though others will vow it colored my subsequent vision. I have nothing to say on this point except that no madness of mine could account for all the evidence.
All that day and the next I stressed over the problem. What had happened? What kind of mind was behind those strange eyes in Edward's face? I couldn't think of anything but this vaguely terrifying mystery, and I stopped trying to do my usual work. On the second morning, the hospital called to say that the patient who had recovered was still the same, and by evening I was nearly having a nervous breakdown—a state I admit, even though others will insist it distorted my later perception. I have nothing to add on this matter except that no craziness on my part could explain all the evidence.
7
7
It was in the night—after that second evening—that stark, utter horror burst over me and weighted my spirit with a black, clutching panic from which it can never shake free. It began with a telephone call just before midnight. I was the only one up, and sleepily took down the receiver in the library. No one seemed to be on the wire, and I was about to hang up and go to bed when my ear caught a very faint suspicion of sound at the other end. Was someone trying under great difficulties to talk? As I listened I thought I heard a sort of half-liquid bubbling noise—"glub ... glub ... glub"—which had an odd suggestion of inarticulate, unintelligible word and syllable divisions. I called, "Who is it?" But the only answer was "glub-glub ... glub-glub." I could only assume that the noise was mechanical; but fancying that it might be a case of a broken instrument able to receive but not to send, I added, "I can't hear you. Better hang up and try Information." Immediately I heard the receiver go on the hook at the other end.
It was late at night—after that second evening—when a deep, overwhelming horror hit me and weighed down my spirit with a suffocating panic that I could never escape. It started with a phone call just before midnight. I was the only one awake, and I lazily picked up the receiver in the library. No one seemed to be on the line, and I was about to hang up and go to bed when I noticed a faint sound on the other end. Was someone trying to talk through some major difficulties? As I listened, I thought I heard a sort of half-liquid bubbling noise—"glub ... glub ... glub"—that oddly suggested inarticulate, unclear words and syllables. I asked, "Who is it?" But the only response was "glub-glub ... glub-glub." I could only assume the noise was mechanical; but thinking it might be a broken phone that could receive but not send, I added, "I can't hear you. Better hang up and try Information." Immediately, I heard the receiver disconnect at the other end.
This, I say, was just before midnight. When that call was traced afterward it was found to come from the old Crowninshield house, though it was fully half a week from the housemaid's day to be there. I shall only hint what was found at that house—the upheaval in a remote cellar storeroom, the tracks, the dirt, the hastily rifled wardrobe, the baffling marks on the telephone, the clumsily used stationery, and the detestable stench lingering over everything. The police, poor fools, have their smug little theories, and are still searching for those sinister discharged servants—who have dropped out of sight amidst the present furor. They speak of a ghoulish revenge for things that were done, and say I was included because I was Edward's best friend and adviser.
This, I say, was just before midnight. When that call was traced later, it turned out to come from the old Crowninshield house, even though it was still half a week before the maid's day to be there. I’ll only hint at what was found in that house—the mess in a remote cellar storeroom, the tracks, the dirt, the hastily searched wardrobe, the confusing marks on the phone, the clumsily used stationery, and the disgusting smell hanging over everything. The police, poor fools, have their self-satisfied little theories and are still looking for those shady former servants—who have vanished amidst all the current chaos. They talk about a gruesome revenge for things that happened and say I got involved because I was Edward's best friend and advisor.
Idiots! do they fancy those brutish clowns could have forged that handwriting? Do they fancy they could have brought what later came? Are they blind to the changes in that body that was Edward's? As for me, I now believe all that Edward Derby ever told me. There are horrors beyond life's edge that we do not suspect, and once in a while man's evil prying calls them just within our range. Ephraim—Asenath—that devil called them in, and they engulfed Edward as they are engulfing me.
Idiots! Do they really think those brutish clowns could have forged that handwriting? Do they really think they could have produced what came later? Are they blind to the changes in the body that belonged to Edward? As for me, I now believe everything Edward Derby ever told me. There are horrors beyond the edge of life that we don’t suspect, and once in a while, man’s evil curiosity brings them just within our reach. Ephraim—Asenath—that devil called them in, and they swallowed Edward just like they are swallowing me.
Can I be sure that I am safe? Those powers survive the life of the physical form. The next day—in the afternoon, when I pulled out of my prostration and was able to walk and talk coherently—I went to the madhouse and shot him dead for Edward's and the world's sake, but can I be sure till he is cremated? They are keeping the body for some silly autopsies by different doctors—but I say he must be cremated. He must be cremated—he who was not Edward Derby when I shot him. I shall go mad if he is not, for I may be the next. But my will is not weak—and I shall not let it be undermined by the terrors I know are seething around it. One life—Ephraim, Asenath, and Edward—who now? I will not be driven out of my body ... I will not change souls with that bullet-ridden lich in the madhouse!
Can I really be sure I’m safe? Those powers outlast the physical body. The next day—in the afternoon, when I finally got up from my prostration and was able to walk and talk clearly—I went to the asylum and shot him dead for Edward's sake and the sake of the world, but can I be sure until he’s cremated? They’re keeping the body for some pointless autopsies by different doctors—but I insist he must be cremated. He must be cremated—he who wasn’t Edward Derby when I shot him. I’ll go insane if he isn’t, because I might be next. But my will is strong—and I won’t let it be weakened by the terrors I know are lurking around it. One life—Ephraim, Asenath, and Edward—who’s next? I will not be forced out of my body ... I will not exchange souls with that bullet-ridden corpse in the asylum!
But let me try to tell coherently of that final horror. I will not speak of what the police persistently ignored—the tales of that dwarfed, grotesque, malodorous thing met by at least three wayfarers in High Street just before two o'clock, and the nature of the single footprints in certain places. I will say only that just about two the door-bell and knocker waked me—door-bell and knocker both, plied alternately and uncertainly in a kind of weak desperation, and each trying to keep to Edward's old signal of three-and-two strokes.
But let me try to explain that final horror clearly. I won’t talk about what the police kept overlooking—the stories about that small, grotesque, smelly thing encountered by at least three travelers on High Street just before two o’clock, and the nature of the single footprints found in certain spots. I’ll just say that around two, the doorbell and knocker woke me—both the doorbell and knocker were being used one after the other, uncertainly, in a sort of weak desperation, and each one trying to stick to Edward’s old signal of three-and-two knocks.
Roused from sound sleep, my mind leaped into a turmoil. Derby at the door—and remembering the old code! That new personality had not remembered it ... was Edward suddenly back in his rightful state? Why was he here in such evident stress and haste? Had he been released ahead of time, or had he escaped? Perhaps, I thought as I flung on a robe and bounded downstairs, his return to his own self had brought raving and violence, revoking his discharge and driving him to a desperate dash for freedom. Whatever had happened, he was good old Edward again, and I would help him!
Woken from deep sleep, my mind was in chaos. Derby was at the door—and I remembered the old code! That new person hadn’t recalled it... was Edward suddenly back to his original self? Why was he here in such obvious distress and urgency? Had he been let out early, or managed to escape? Maybe, I thought as I threw on a robe and rushed downstairs, his return to himself had caused a breakdown and violence, revoking his release and forcing him to make a desperate run for freedom. No matter what had happened, he was good old Edward again, and I was ready to help him!
When I opened the door into the elm-arched blackness a gust of insufferably fetid wind almost flung me prostrate. I choked in nausea, and for a second scarcely saw the dwarfed, humped figure on the steps. The summons had been Edward's, but who was this foul, stunted parody? Where had Edward had time to go? His ring had sounded only a second before the door opened.
When I opened the door into the dark space beneath the elm arch, a wave of unbearable, rotten air nearly knocked me off my feet. I gagged in disgust, and for a moment I could barely make out the small, humped figure on the steps. The call had come from Edward, but who was this disgusting, distorted version of him? How had Edward had time to leave? His ring had only sounded a moment before I opened the door.
The caller had on one of Edward's overcoats—its bottom almost touching the ground, and its sleeves rolled back yet still covering the hands. On the head was a slouch hat pulled low, while a black silk muffler concealed the face. As I stepped unsteadily forward, the figure made a semi-liquid sound like that I had heard over the telephone—"glub ... glub"—and thrust at me a large, closely written paper impaled on the end of a long pencil. Still reeling from the morbid and unaccountable fetor, I seized the paper and tried to read it in the light from the doorway.
The caller was wearing one of Edward's overcoats—its bottom nearly brushing the ground, and its sleeves rolled back but still covering the hands. On its head was a slouch hat pulled down low, while a black silk scarf hid the face. As I stepped forward unsteadily, the figure made a sloshing sound like what I had heard over the phone—"glub ... glub"—and shoved a large sheet of closely written paper at me, stuck on the end of a long pencil. Still reeling from the strange and inexplicable smell, I grabbed the paper and tried to read it in the light from the doorway.
Beyond question, it was in Edward's script. But why had he written when he was close enough to ring—and why was the script so awkward, coarse and shaky? I could make out nothing in the dim half-light, so edged back into the hall, the dwarf figure clumping mechanically after but pausing on the inner door's threshold. The odor of this singular messenger was really appalling, and I hoped (not in vain, thank God!) that my wife would not wake and confront it.
No doubt, it was in Edward's handwriting. But why had he written instead of just calling—and why was the writing so clumsy, rough, and shaky? I couldn't see anything in the dim half-light, so I edged back into the hallway, the small figure following awkwardly but stopping at the doorway. The smell from this strange messenger was really awful, and I hoped (thankfully not in vain!) that my wife wouldn't wake up and face it.
Then, as I read the paper, I felt my knees give under me and my vision go black. I was lying on the floor when I came to, that accursed sheet still clutched in my fear-rigid hand. This is what it said:
Then, as I read the paper, I felt my knees buckle and my vision go dark. I was lying on the floor when I came to, that cursed sheet still clenched in my tense grip. This is what it said:
"Dan—go to the sanitarium and kill it. Exterminate it. It isn't Edward Derby any more. She got me—it's Asenath—and she has been dead three months and a half. I lied when I said she had gone away. I killed her. I had to. It was sudden, but we were alone and I was in my right body. I saw a candlestick and smashed her head in. She would have got me for good at Hallowmass.
"Dan—go to the sanitarium and take care of it. End it. It isn't Edward Derby anymore. She got me—it's Asenath—and she has been dead for three and a half months. I lied when I said she had left. I killed her. I had to. It was unexpected, but we were alone and I was in my own body. I saw a candlestick and smashed her head in. She would have gotten me for good at Hallowmass."
"I buried her in the farther cellar storeroom under some old boxes and cleaned up all the traces. The servants suspected next morning, but they have such secrets that they dare not tell the police. I sent them off, but God knows what they—and others of the cult—will do.
"I buried her in the back cellar storage room under some old boxes and cleaned up all the evidence. The servants were suspicious the next morning, but they have their own secrets that they don't dare share with the police. I sent them away, but God knows what they—and others in the cult—will do."
"I thought for a while I was all right, and then I felt the tugging at my brain. I knew what it was—I ought to have remembered. A soul like hers—or Ephraim's—is half detached, and keeps right on after death as long as the body lasts. She was getting me—making me change bodies with her—seizing my body and putting me in that corpse of hers buried in the cellar.
"I thought for a while that I was okay, and then I felt the pulling in my mind. I knew what it was—I should have remembered. A soul like hers—or Ephraim's—is partially detached and continues on after death as long as the body is still around. She was taking over—forcing me to swap bodies with her—grabbing my body and putting me into that dead body of hers buried in the cellar.
"I knew what was coming—that's why I snapped and had to go to the asylum. Then it came—I found myself choked in the dark—in Asenath's rotting carcass down there in the cellar under the boxes where I put it. And I knew she must be in my body at the sanitarium—permanently, for it was after Hallowmass, and the sacrifice would work even without her being there—sane, and ready for release as a menace to the world. I was desperate, and in spite of everything I clawed my way out.
"I knew what was coming—that's why I lost it and ended up in the asylum. Then it happened—I found myself suffocating in the dark—trapped in Asenath's decaying body down in the cellar under the boxes where I had placed it. And I realized she must be in my body at the sanitarium—permanently, since it was after Hallowmass, and the sacrifice would work even without her being there—sane, and ready to pose a threat to the world. I was desperate, and despite everything, I fought my way out.
"I'm too far gone to talk—I couldn't manage to telephone—but I can still write. I'll get fixed up somehow and bring this last word and warning. Kill that fiend if you value the peace and comfort of the world. See that it is cremated. If you don't, it will live on and on, body to body for ever, and I can't tell you what it will do. Keep clear of black magic, Dan—it's the devil's business. Good-bye—you've been a great friend. Tell the police whatever they'll believe—and I'm damnably sorry to drag all this on you. I'll be at peace before long—this thing won't hold together much more. Hope you can read this. And kill that thing—kill it.
"I'm too far gone to talk—I couldn't manage to call—but I can still write. I'll figure something out and send this last message and warning. Kill that fiend if you care about the peace and comfort of the world. Make sure it’s cremated. If you don’t, it will keep living on, body to body forever, and I can't explain what it will do. Stay away from black magic, Dan—it's the devil’s work. Goodbye—you’ve been a great friend. Tell the police whatever they’ll believe—and I'm really sorry to put all this on you. I’ll be at peace soon—this thing won’t last much longer. Hope you can read this. And kill that thing—kill it.
"Yours—Ed."
"Yours—Ed."
It was only afterward that I read the last half of this paper, for I had fainted at the end of the third paragraph. I fainted again when I saw and smelled what cluttered up the threshold where the warm air had struck it. The messenger would not move or have consciousness any more.
It was only afterward that I read the last half of this paper, because I had passed out at the end of the third paragraph. I fainted again when I saw and smelled what was piled up at the threshold where the warm air had hit it. The messenger wouldn’t move or be aware anymore.
The butler, tougher-fibered than I, did not faint at what met him in the hall in the morning. Instead, he telephoned the police. When they came I had been taken upstairs to bed, but the—other mass—lay where it had collapsed in the night. The men put handkerchiefs to their noses.
The butler, tougher than I, didn’t faint at what he found in the hall that morning. Instead, he called the police. By the time they arrived, I had been taken upstairs to bed, but the other body lay where it had fallen during the night. The men put handkerchiefs to their noses.
What they finally found inside Edward's oddly-assorted clothes was mostly liquescent horror. There were bones, too—and a crushed-in skull. Some dental work positively identified the skull as Asenath's.
What they ultimately discovered among Edward's strange mix of clothes was mostly a nightmarish scene. There were bones as well—and a caved-in skull. Some dental work clearly confirmed that the skull belonged to Asenath.
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