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THE BOOK OF WONDER
BY
LORD DUNSANY
BY
LORD DUNSANY
CONTENTS
PREFACE
Come with me, ladies and gentlemen who are in any wise weary of London: come with me: and those that tire at all of the world we know: for we have new worlds here.
Come with me, ladies and gentlemen who are tired of London: come with me: and those who are weary of the world we know: for we have new worlds to explore here.
THE BRIDE OF THE MAN-HORSE
In the morning of his two hundred and fiftieth year Shepperalk the centaur went to the golden coffer, wherein the treasure of the centaurs was, and taking from it the hoarded amulet that his father, Jyshak, in the years of his prime, had hammered from mountain gold and set with opals bartered from the gnomes, he put it upon his wrist, and said no word, but walked from his mother's cavern. And he took with him too that clarion of the centaurs, that famous silver horn, that in its time had summoned to surrender seventeen cities of Man, and for twenty years had brayed at star-girt walls in the Siege of Tholdenblarna, the citadel of the gods, what time the centaurs waged their fabulous war and were not broken by any force of arms, but retreated slowly in a cloud of dust before the final miracle of the gods that They brought in Their desperate need from Their ultimate armoury. He took it and strode away, and his mother only sighed and let him go.
In the morning of his two hundred and fiftieth year, Shepperalk the centaur went to the golden chest that held the centaurs' treasure. He took out the treasured amulet his father, Jyshak, had forged from mountain gold and adorned with opals traded from the gnomes during his prime. He placed it on his wrist without saying a word and walked out of his mother's cave. He also took with him the centaurs' clarion, that famous silver horn, which had once called for the surrender of seventeen cities of Man and, for twenty years, had sounded at star-covered walls during the Siege of Tholdenblarna, the citadel of the gods. At that time, the centaurs fought their legendary war and were not defeated by any weapons but slowly retreated in a cloud of dust before the final miracle the gods brought from their ultimate armory in their dire need. He took it and strode away, while his mother only sighed and let him go.
She knew that today he would not drink at the stream coming down from the terraces of Varpa Niger, the inner land of the mountains, that today he would not wonder awhile at the sunset and afterwards trot back to the cavern again to sleep on rushes pulled by rivers that know not Man. She knew that it was with him as it had been of old with his father, and with Goom the father of Jyshak, and long ago with the gods. Therefore she only sighed and let him go.
She knew that today he wouldn't drink from the stream flowing down from the Varpa Niger terraces, in the heart of the mountains. Today, he wouldn't pause to admire the sunset and then make his way back to the cave to sleep on rushes gathered by rivers untouched by humans. She realized it was the same with him as it had been with his father before him, and with Goom, the father of Jyshak, and long ago with the gods. So she just sighed and let him go.
But he, coming out from the cavern that was his home, went for the first time over the little stream, and going round the corner of the crags saw glittering beneath him the mundane plain. And the wind of the autumn that was gilding the world, rushing up the slopes of the mountain, beat cold on his naked flanks. He raised his head and snorted.
But he, coming out from the cave that was his home, crossed the little stream for the first time, and rounding the corner of the cliffs, saw the glittering plain below him. The autumn wind, which was making the world sparkle, rushed up the slopes of the mountain and chilled his bare sides. He lifted his head and snorted.
"I am a man-horse now!" he shouted aloud; and leaping from crag to crag he galloped by valley and chasm, by torrent-bed and scar of avalanche, until he came to the wandering leagues of the plain, and left behind him for ever the Athraminaurian mountains.
"I’m a man-horse now!” he shouted loudly; and jumping from cliff to cliff, he raced through valleys and gorges, across riverbeds and the scars of landslides, until he reached the endless stretches of the plain, leaving the Athraminaurian mountains behind him for good.
His goal was Zretazoola, the city of Sombelenë. What legend of Sombelenë's inhuman beauty or of the wonder of her mystery had ever floated over the mundane plain to the fabulous cradle of the centaurs' race, the Athraminaurian mountains, I do not know. Yet in the blood of man there is a tide, an old sea-current rather, that is somehow akin to the twilight, which brings him rumours of beauty from however far away, as driftwood is found at sea from islands not yet discovered: and this spring-tide of current that visits the blood of man comes from the fabulous quarter of his lineage, from the legendary, the old; it takes him out to the woodlands, out to the hills; he listens to ancient song. So it may be that Shepperalk's fabulous blood stirred in those lonely mountains away at the edge of the world to rumours that only the airy twilight knew and only confided secretly to the bat, for Shepperalk was more legendary even than man. Certain it was that he headed from the first for the city of Zretazoola, where Sombelenë in her temple dwelt; though all the mundane plain, its rivers and mountains, lay between Shepperalk's home and the city he sought.
His goal was Zretazoola, the city of Sombelenë. I don't know what legends about Sombelenë's breathtaking beauty or her mysterious wonders ever reached the ordinary land leading to the fabulous birthplace of the centaur race, the Athraminaurian mountains. But in human nature, there’s an instinct, an ancient pull that somehow resembles twilight, which brings whispers of beauty from distant places, just as driftwood washes up from undiscovered islands. This pull that courses through human blood comes from a remarkable part of our heritage, from the mythical and the ancient; it draws people out into the forests, up the hills, where they can hear the songs of ages past. Perhaps Shepperalk's extraordinary lineage stirred in those isolated mountains at the world’s edge, to secrets that only the ethereal twilight understood and shared quietly with the bats, for Shepperalk was even more legendary than any man. One thing was certain: he was determined from the beginning to reach the city of Zretazoola, where Sombelenë resided in her temple; even though the entire ordinary landscape, with its rivers and mountains, lay between Shepperalk's home and the city he was searching for.
When first the feet of the centaur touched the grass of that soft alluvial earth he blew for joy upon the silver horn, he pranced and caracoled, he gambolled over the leagues; pace came to him like a maiden with a lamp, a new and beautiful wonder; the wind laughed as it passed him. He put his head down low to the scent of the flowers, he lifted it up to be nearer the unseen stars, he revelled through kingdoms, took rivers in his stride; how shall I tell you, ye that dwell in cities, how shall I tell you what he felt as he galloped? He felt for strength like the towers of Bel-Narana; for lightness like those gossamer palaces that the fairy-spider builds 'twixt heaven and sea along the coasts of Zith; for swiftness like some bird racing up from the morning to sing in some city's spires before daylight comes. He was the sworn companion of the wind. For joy he was as a song; the lightnings of his legendary sires, the earlier gods, began to mix with his blood; his hooves thundered. He came to the cities of men, and all men trembled, for they remembered the ancient mythical wars, and now they dreaded new battles and feared for the race of man. Not by Clio are these wars recorded; history does not know them, but what of that? Not all of us have sat at historians' feet, but all have learned fable and myth at their mothers' knees. And there were none that did not fear strange wars when they saw Shepperalk swerve and leap along the public ways. So he passed from city to city.
When the centaur first stepped onto the soft grass of that fertile earth, he blew joyfully on his silver horn, bounced around, and danced over the landscape; movement felt new and beautiful, like a maiden with a lamp guiding him. The wind seemed to laugh as it passed by. He lowered his head to smell the flowers and lifted it toward the hidden stars, exploring realms and effortlessly crossing rivers. How can I explain to you, city dwellers, what he felt as he galloped? He felt strength like the towers of Bel-Narana, lightness like the delicate palaces built by fairy-spiders between heaven and sea along the coasts of Zith, and swiftness like a bird racing to sing in a city’s spires before dawn. He was the wind’s devoted companion. His joy was like a song; the power of his legendary ancestors, the earlier gods, began to flow through him; his hooves sounded like thunder. He arrived in the cities of men, and everyone trembled, remembering the ancient mythical wars, now fearing new battles and worrying for humanity’s survival. These wars weren't recorded by Clio; history doesn't acknowledge them, but so what? Not everyone has learned at the feet of historians, but we've all heard fables and myths from our mothers. And no one was unafraid of strange wars when they saw Shepperalk darting and leaping through the streets. So he journeyed from city to city.
By night he lay down unpanting in the reeds of some marsh or a forest; before dawn he rose triumphant, and hugely drank of some river in the dark, and splashing out of it would trot to some high place to find the sunrise, and to send echoing eastwards the exultant greetings of his jubilant horn. And lo! the sunrise coming up from the echoes, and the plains new-lit by the day, and the leagues spinning by like water flung from a top, and that gay companion, the loudly laughing wind, and men and the fears of men and their little cities; and, after that, great rivers and waste spaces and huge new hills, and then new lands beyond them, and more cities of men, and always the old companion, the glorious wind. Kingdom by kingdom slipt by, and still his breath was even. "It is a golden thing to gallop on good turf in one's youth," said the young man-horse, the centaur. "Ha, ha," said the wind of the hills, and the winds of the plain answered.
By night he lay down, panting, in the reeds of some marsh or forest; before dawn he rose, triumphant, and eagerly drank from a river in the dark. Splashing out of it, he would trot to a high place to catch the sunrise and send echoing eastward the joyful greetings of his jubilant horn. And look! The sunrise emerged from the echoes, the plains were lit up by the day, the leagues spun by like water splashed from a height, and that cheerful companion, the loudly laughing wind, along with men, their fears, and their small cities; then came great rivers, open spaces, enormous new hills, and new lands beyond them, and more cities of men, always accompanied by the glorious wind. Kingdom after kingdom slipped by, and still his breath remained steady. "It's a golden thing to gallop on good turf when you're young," said the young man-horse, the centaur. "Ha, ha," laughed the hill winds, and the winds of the plain replied.
Bells pealed in frantic towers, wise men consulted parchments, astrologers sought of the portent from the stars, the aged made subtle prophecies. "Is he not swift?" said the young. "How glad he is," said children.
Bells rang out chaotically from the towers, wise people examined scrolls, astrologers looked to the stars for omens, and the elderly made careful predictions. "Isn’t he quick?" said the young. "He seems so happy," said the children.
Night after night brought him sleep, and day after day lit his gallop, till he came to the lands of the Athalonian men who live by the edges of the mundane plain, and from them he came to the lands of legend again such as those in which he was cradled on the other side of the world, and which fringe the marge of the world and mix with the twilight. And there a mighty thought came into his untired heart, for he knew that he neared Zretazoola now, the city of Sombelenë.
Night after night, he found rest, and day after day fueled his journey, until he reached the lands of the Athalonian people, who live on the outskirts of the ordinary plain. From there, he entered the realms of legend again, like those where he was born on the other side of the world, which border the edge of reality and blend with twilight. In that moment, a powerful realization filled his relentless heart, for he knew he was close to Zretazoola now, the city of Sombelenë.
It was late in the day when he neared it, and clouds coloured with evening rolled low on the plain before him; he galloped on into their golden mist, and when it hid from his eyes the sight of things, the dreams in his heart awoke and romantically he pondered all those rumours that used to come to him from Sombelenë, because of the fellowship of fabulous things. She dwelt (said evening secretly to the bat) in a little temple by a lone lakeshore. A grove of cypresses screened her from the city, from Zretazoola of the climbing ways. And opposite her temple stood her tomb, her sad lake-sepulchre with open door, lest her amazing beauty and the centuries of her youth should ever give rise to the heresy among men that lovely Sombelenë was immortal: for only her beauty and her lineage were divine.
It was late in the day when he approached it, and evening clouds rolled low over the plain ahead of him; he galloped into their golden mist, and when it concealed everything from his view, the dreams in his heart stirred, and he romantically thought about all those rumors that used to reach him from Sombelenë, thanks to the company of extraordinary things. She lived (the evening whispered to the bat) in a small temple by a solitary lakeshore. A grove of cypress trees shielded her from the city, from Zretazoola with its winding paths. And across from her temple stood her tomb, her sorrowful lake-sepulchre with an open door, to prevent the misconception among people that beautiful Sombelenë was immortal; for only her beauty and her lineage were divine.
Her father had been half centaur and half god; her mother was the child of a desert lion and that sphinx that watches the pyramids;—she was more mystical than Woman.
Her father was half centaur and half god; her mother was the child of a desert lion and that sphinx that watches the pyramids;—she was more mystical than any woman.
Her beauty was as a dream, was as a song; the one dream of a lifetime dreamed on enchanted dews, the one song sung to some city by a deathless bird blown far from his native coasts by storm in Paradise. Dawn after dawn on mountains of romance or twilight after twilight could never equal her beauty; all the glow-worms had not the secret among them nor all the stars of night; poets had never sung it nor evening guessed its meaning; the morning envied it, it was hidden from lovers.
Her beauty was like a dream, like a song; the one dream of a lifetime found in magical dewdrops, the one song sung to a city by an immortal bird blown far from its homeland by storms in Paradise. Dawn after dawn on mountains of romance or twilight after twilight could never match her beauty; all the glow-worms didn’t hold the secret, nor did all the stars of night; poets had never captured it in verse, and even evening couldn’t grasp its meaning; the morning envied it, and it was hidden from lovers.
She was unwed, unwooed.
She was single and unattached.
The lions came not to woo her because they feared her strength, and the gods dared not love her because they knew she must die.
The lions didn't approach her to win her over because they were afraid of her strength, and the gods avoided loving her because they knew she was destined to die.
This was what evening had whispered to the bat, this was the dream in the heart of Shepperalk as he cantered blind through the mist. And suddenly there at his hooves in the dark of the plain appeared the cleft in the legendary lands, and Zretazoola sheltering in the cleft, and sunning herself in the evening.
This was what evening had whispered to the bat, this was the dream in the heart of Shepperalk as he galloped blindly through the mist. And suddenly there at his feet in the darkness of the plain appeared the gap in the legendary lands, and Zretazoola resting in the gap, basking in the evening.
Swiftly and craftily he bounded down by the upper end of the cleft, and entering Zretazoola by the outer gate which looks out sheer on the stars, he galloped suddenly down the narrow streets. Many that rushed out on to balconies as he went clattering by, many that put their heads from glittering windows, are told of in olden song. Shepperalk did not tarry to give greetings or to answer challenges from martial towers, he was down through the earthward gateway like the thunderbolt of his sires, and, like Leviathan who has leapt at an eagle, he surged into the water between temple and tomb.
Quickly and skillfully, he dashed down the upper end of the gorge, and entering Zretazoola through the outer gate that opens up to the stars, he suddenly galloped down the narrow streets. Many people who rushed out onto balconies as he clattered by and many who leaned out from sparkling windows are mentioned in ancient songs. Shepperalk didn’t stop to greet anyone or respond to challenges from the warrior towers; he shot through the earthward gateway like a bolt of lightning from his ancestors, and, like Leviathan leaping at an eagle, he surged into the water between the temple and the tomb.
He galloped with half-shut eyes up the temple-steps, and, only seeing dimly through his lashes, seized Sombelenë by the hair, undazzled as yet by her beauty, and so haled her away; and, leaping with her over the floorless chasm where the waters of the lake fall unremembered away into a hole in the world, took her we know not where, to be her slave for all centuries that are allowed to his race.
He rode up the temple steps with his eyes partly closed, only catching a blurry glimpse through his lashes. He grabbed Sombelenë by her hair, still unaware of her beauty, and pulled her away. Leaping with her over the deep gap where the lake's waters disappeared into a void, he took her somewhere unknown, destined to be her slave for all the ages allowed to his kind.
Three blasts he gave as he went upon that silver horn that is the world-old treasure of the centaurs. These were his wedding bells.
Three blasts sounded as he played that silver horn, a timeless treasure of the centaurs. These were his wedding bells.
DISTRESSING TALE OF THANGOBRIND THE JEWELLER
When Thangobrind the jeweller heard the ominous cough, he turned at once upon that narrow way. A thief was he, of very high repute, being patronized by the lofty and elect, for he stole nothing smaller than the Moomoo's egg, and in all his life stole only four kinds of stone—the ruby, the diamond, the emerald, and the sapphire; and, as jewellers go, his honesty was great. Now there was a Merchant Prince who had come to Thangobrind and had offered his daughter's soul for the diamond that is larger than the human head and was to be found on the lap of the spider-idol, Hlo-hlo, in his temple of Moung-ga-ling; for he had heard that Thangobrind was a thief to be trusted.
When Thangobrind the jeweler heard the ominous cough, he immediately turned down that narrow path. He was a thief of high reputation, favored by the elite and influential, as he only stole things as valuable as the Moomoo's egg, and throughout his life, he had only taken four types of stones—the ruby, the diamond, the emerald, and the sapphire; and among jewelers, he was quite honest. Now there was a Merchant Prince who came to Thangobrind and offered his daughter's soul in exchange for the diamond that was larger than a human head, located on the lap of the spider-idol, Hlo-hlo, in his temple of Moung-ga-ling; for he had heard that Thangobrind was a trustworthy thief.
Thangobrind oiled his body and slipped out of his shop, and went secretly through byways, and got as far as Snarp, before anybody knew that he was out on business again or missed his sword from its place under the counter. Thence he moved only by night, hiding by day and rubbing the edges of his sword, which he called Mouse because it was swift and nimble. The jeweller had subtle methods of travelling; nobody saw him cross the plains of Zid; nobody saw him come to Mursk or Tlun. O, but he loved shadows! Once the moon peeping out unexpectedly from a tempest had betrayed an ordinary jeweller; not so did it undo Thangobrind: the watchman only saw a crouching shape that snarled and laughed: "'Tis but a hyena," they said. Once in the city of Ag one of the guardians seized him, but Thangobrind was oiled and slipped from his hand; you scarcely heard his bare feet patter away. He knew that the Merchant Prince awaited his return, his little eyes open all night and glittering with greed; he knew how his daughter lay chained up and screaming night and day. Ah, Thangobrind knew. And had he not been out on business he had almost allowed himself one or two little laughs. But business was business, and the diamond that he sought still lay on the lap of Hlo-hlo, where it had been for the last two million years since Hlo-hlo created the world and gave unto it all things except that precious stone called Dead Man's Diamond. The jewel was often stolen, but it had a knack of coming back again to the lap of Hlo-hlo. Thangobrind knew this, but he was no common jeweller and hoped to outwit Hlo-hlo, perceiving not the trend of ambition and lust and that they are vanity.
Thangobrind oiled his body and quietly slipped out of his shop, taking secret back roads until he reached Snarp, well before anyone realized he was off on business again or noticed his sword was missing from under the counter. From there, he traveled only at night, hiding during the day and sharpening the edges of his sword, which he called Mouse because it was quick and nimble. The jeweler had clever ways of moving; no one saw him cross the plains of Zid, and no one saw him arrive in Mursk or Tlun. Oh, how he loved the shadows! Once, the moon peeked out unexpectedly from a storm and revealed an ordinary jeweler; but Thangobrind wasn’t so easily caught: the watchman only saw a crouching figure that snarled and laughed, “It’s just a hyena,” they said. Once in the city of Ag, one of the guards grabbed him, but Thangobrind was oiled and slipped from his grip; you could barely hear his bare feet patter away. He knew that the Merchant Prince was waiting for his return, his small eyes open all night and shining with greed; he knew how his daughter was locked up and screaming day and night. Ah, Thangobrind knew. And if he hadn't been on business, he might have let out a laugh or two. But business was business, and the diamond he sought still rested in the lap of Hlo-hlo, where it had been for the last two million years since Hlo-hlo created the world and gave it everything except that precious stone known as Dead Man's Diamond. The jewel was often stolen, but somehow it always found its way back to Hlo-hlo's lap. Thangobrind knew this, but he was no ordinary jeweler and believed he could outsmart Hlo-hlo, not realizing that ambition and lust only lead to vanity.
How nimbly he threaded his way through the pits of Snood!—now like a botanist, scrutinising the ground; now like a dancer, leaping from crumbling edges. It was quite dark when he went by the towers of Tor, where archers shoot ivory arrows at strangers lest any foreigner should alter their laws, which are bad, but not to be altered by mere aliens. At night they shoot by the sound of the strangers' feet. O, Thangobrind, Thangobrind, was ever a jeweller like you! He dragged two stones behind him by long cords, and at these the archers shot. Tempting indeed was the snare that they set in Woth, the emeralds loose-set in the city's gate; but Thangobrind discerned the golden cord that climbed the wall from each and the weights that would topple upon him if he touched one, and so he left them, though he left them weeping, and at last came to Theth. There all men worship Hlo-hlo; though they are willing to believe in other gods, as missionaries attest, but only as creatures of the chase for the hunting of Hlo-hlo, who wears Their halos, so these people say, on golden hooks along his hunting-belt. And from Theth he came to the city of Moung and the temple of Moung-ga-ling, and entered and saw the spider-idol, Hlo-hlo, sitting there with Dead Man's Diamond glittering on his lap, and looking for all the world like a full moon, but a full moon seen by a lunatic who had slept too long in its rays, for there was in Dead Man's Diamond a certain sinister look and a boding of things to happen that are better not mentioned here. The face of the spider-idol was lit by that fatal gem; there was no other light. In spite of his shocking limbs and that demoniac body, his face was serene and apparently unconscious.
How smoothly he made his way through the pits of Snood!—now like a botanist, examining the ground; now like a dancer, jumping from crumbling edges. It was completely dark when he passed the towers of Tor, where archers shoot ivory arrows at strangers to keep any outsider from changing their laws, which are bad but not to be changed by mere foreigners. At night, they shoot by the sound of the strangers' footsteps. Oh, Thangobrind, Thangobrind, was there ever a jeweler like you! He dragged two stones behind him with long cords, and the archers aimed at them. The trap they set in Woth, with emeralds loosely set in the city’s gate, was indeed tempting; but Thangobrind saw the golden cord that climbed the wall from each one and the weights that would fall on him if he touched any, so he left them, even though he left them in sorrow, and finally arrived at Theth. There, everyone worships Hlo-hlo; they are open to believing in other gods, as missionaries report, but only as creatures of the hunt for pursuing Hlo-hlo, who, according to these people, wears their halos on golden hooks along his hunting-belt. After Theth, he traveled to the city of Moung and the temple of Moung-ga-ling, entered, and saw the spider-idol, Hlo-hlo, sitting there with Dead Man's Diamond sparkling on his lap, looking just like a full moon, but a full moon seen by someone who had gone crazy from sleeping too long in its rays, for Dead Man's Diamond held a certain ominous look and a sense of looming events that are better left unmentioned here. The face of the spider-idol was illuminated by that cursed gem; there was no other light. Despite his terrifying limbs and that demonic body, his face was calm and seemingly unaware.
A little fear came into the mind of Thangobrind the jeweller, a passing tremor—no more; business was business and he hoped for the best. Thangobrind offered honey to Hlo-hlo and prostrated himself before him. Oh, he was cunning! When the priests stole out of the darkness to lap up the honey they were stretched senseless on the temple floor, for there was a drug in the honey that was offered to Hlo-hlo. And Thangobrind the jeweller picked Dead Man's Diamond up and put it on his shoulder and trudged away from the shrine; and Hlo-hlo the spider-idol said nothing at all, but he laughed softly as the jeweller shut the door. When the priests awoke out of the grip of the drug that was offered with the honey to Hlo-hlo, they rushed to a little secret room with an outlet on the stars and cast a horoscope of the thief. Something that they saw in the horoscope seemed to satisfy the priests.
A bit of fear crossed Thangobrind the jeweler's mind, just a fleeting tremor—nothing more; business was business, and he hoped for the best. Thangobrind offered honey to Hlo-hlo and bowed down before him. Oh, he was clever! When the priests crept out of the shadows to drink the honey, they were left senseless on the temple floor because there was a drug in the honey offered to Hlo-hlo. Thangobrind the jeweler picked up the Dead Man's Diamond, slung it over his shoulder, and walked away from the shrine; meanwhile, Hlo-hlo the spider-idol said nothing at all, but chuckled softly as the jeweler closed the door. When the priests regained their senses from the drug mixed with the honey offered to Hlo-hlo, they hurried to a secret little room with a view of the stars and cast a horoscope for the thief. Something they saw in the horoscope seemed to satisfy them.
It was not like Thangobrind to go back by the road by which he had come. No, he went by another road, even though it led to the narrow way, night-house and spider-forest.
It wasn't like Thangobrind to take the same road back he came from. No, he chose a different path, even though it led to the narrow way, night-house, and spider-forest.
The city of Moung went towering by behind him, balcony above balcony, eclipsing half the stars, as he trudged away with his diamond. Though when a soft pittering as of velvet feet arose behind him he refused to acknowledge that it might be what he feared, yet the instincts of his trade told him that it is not well when any noise whatever follows a diamond by night, and this was one of the largest that had ever come to him in the way of business. When he came to the narrow way that leads to spider-forest, Dead Man's Diamond feeling cold and heavy, and the velvety footfall seeming fearfully close, the jeweller stopped and almost hesitated. He looked behind him; there was nothing there. He listened attentively; there was no sound now. Then he thought of the screams of the Merchant Prince's daughter, whose soul was the diamond's price, and smiled and went stoutly on. There watched him, apathetically, over the narrow way, that grim and dubious woman whose house is the Night. Thangobrind, hearing no longer the sound of suspicious feet, felt easier now. He was all but come to the end of the narrow way, when the woman listlessly uttered that ominous cough.
The city of Moung towered behind him, balconies stacked one above the other, blocking out half the stars as he trudged away with his diamond. Even when he heard a soft patter like velvet footsteps behind him, he refused to admit it might be what he dreaded. Still, his instincts as a jeweler warned him that it’s never good when any noise follows a diamond at night, and this was one of the biggest he’d ever handled. When he reached the narrow path that leads to spider-forest, the Dead Man's Diamond feeling cold and heavy in his hand, and the velvety footsteps sounding alarmingly close, the jeweler paused and nearly hesitated. He looked back; there was nothing there. He listened intently; there was no sound now. Then he remembered the screams of the Merchant Prince's daughter, whose soul was the price of the diamond, and smiled, pushing forward confidently. Over the narrow path, he was watched apathetically by the grim and uncertain woman whose domain was the Night. Thangobrind, no longer hearing the suspicious footsteps, felt a bit more at ease. He was almost at the end of the narrow path when the woman let out a casual yet foreboding cough.
The cough was too full of meaning to be disregarded. Thangobrind turned round and saw at once what he feared. The spider-idol had not stayed at home. The jeweller put his diamond gently upon the ground and drew his sword called Mouse. And then began that famous fight upon the narrow way in which the grim old woman whose house was Night seemed to take so little interest. To the spider-idol you saw at once it was all a horrible joke. To the jeweller it was grim earnest. He fought and panted and was pushed back slowly along the narrow way, but he wounded Hlo-hlo all the while with terrible long gashes all over his deep, soft body till Mouse was slimy with blood. But at last the persistent laughter of Hlo-hlo was too much for the jeweller's nerves, and, once more wounding his demoniac foe, he sank aghast and exhausted by the door of the house called Night at the feet of the grim old woman, who having uttered once that ominous cough interfered no further with the course of events. And there carried Thangobrind the jeweller away those whose duty it was, to the house where the two men hang, and taking down from his hook the left-hand one of the two, they put that venturous jeweller in his place; so that there fell on him the doom that he feared, as all men know though it is so long since, and there abated somewhat the ire of the envious gods.
The cough had too much meaning to be ignored. Thangobrind turned around and immediately saw what he feared. The spider-idol was not at home. The jeweler gently placed his diamond on the ground and drew his sword, called Mouse. Then started that famous fight on the narrow path, in which the grim old woman whose house was Night seemed to show little interest. To the spider-idol, it quickly appeared to be a terrible joke. For the jeweler, it was deadly serious. He fought hard, panting as he was slowly pushed back along the narrow path, but he kept wounding Hlo-hlo with terrible long cuts all over his deep, soft body until Mouse was slick with blood. However, eventually, the relentless laughter of Hlo-hlo became too much for the jeweler's nerves, and after wounding his demonic enemy once more, he sank down, aghast and exhausted, by the door of the house called Night, at the feet of the grim old woman, who after giving that ominous cough, did not interfere further with the unfolding events. Then, those responsible carried Thangobrind the jeweler away to the house where the two men hung. They took down the left-hand one of the two and placed the daring jeweler in his place; thus, the fate he feared fell upon him, as all men know, even if it was so long ago, and it somewhat lessened the anger of the envious gods.
And the only daughter of the Merchant Prince felt so little gratitude for this great deliverance that she took to respectability of a militant kind, and became aggressively dull, and called her home the English Riviera, and had platitudes worked in worsted upon her tea-cosy, and in the end never died, but passed away at her residence.
And the only daughter of the Merchant Prince felt hardly any gratitude for this great rescue, so she embraced a kind of militant respectability, becoming aggressively boring. She referred to her home as the English Riviera, had clichés stitched in worsted on her tea cozy, and in the end, she never truly died but passed away at her residence.
THE HOUSE OF THE SPHINX
When I came to the House of the Sphinx it was already dark. They made me eagerly welcome. And I, in spite of the deed, was glad of any shelter from that ominous wood. I saw at once that there had been a deed, although a cloak did all that a cloak may do to conceal it. The mere uneasiness of the welcome made me suspect that cloak.
When I arrived at the House of the Sphinx, it was already dark. They welcomed me warmly. Even with what I had done, I was grateful for any shelter from that foreboding forest. I could tell right away that something had happened, although a cloak did its best to hide it. The slight awkwardness of their welcome made me suspicious of that cloak.
The Sphinx was moody and silent. I had not come to pry into the secrets of Eternity nor to investigate the Sphinx's private life, and so had little to say and few questions to ask; but to whatever I did say she remained morosely indifferent. It was clear that either she suspected me of being in search of the secrets of one of her gods, or of being boldly inquisitive about her traffic with Time, or else she was darkly absorbed with brooding upon the deed.
The Sphinx was in a bad mood and quiet. I hadn't come to uncover the mysteries of Eternity or to dig into the Sphinx's personal life, so I had little to say and few questions to ask. But whatever I did say, she responded with gloomy indifference. It was obvious that either she thought I was searching for the secrets of one of her gods, or she believed I was unflinchingly curious about her dealings with Time, or she was just lost in deep thought about the matter.
I saw soon enough that there was another than me to welcome; I saw it from the hurried way that they glanced from the door to the deed and back to the door again. And it was clear that the welcome was to be a bolted door. But such bolts, and such a door! Rust and decay and fungus had been there far too long, and it was not a barrier any longer that would keep out even a determined wolf. And it seemed to be something worse than a wolf that they feared.
I quickly realized that there was someone else to greet; I could tell from the way they anxiously looked from the door to the document and back to the door again. It was obvious that the welcome was going to be a locked door. But what a lock and what a door! Rust, decay, and mold had been there for way too long, and it was no longer a barrier that could keep out even a stubborn wolf. It seemed like they were scared of something even worse than a wolf.
A little later on I gathered from what they said that some imperious and ghastly thing was looking for the Sphinx, and that something that had happened had made its arrival certain. It appeared that they had slapped the Sphinx to vex her out of her apathy in order that she should pray to one of her gods, whom she had littered in the house of Time; but her moody silence was invincible, and her apathy Oriental, ever since the deed had happened. And when they found that they could not make her pray, there was nothing for them to do but to pay little useless attentions to the rusty lock of the door, and to look at the deed and wonder, and even pretend to hope, and to say that after all it might not bring that destined thing from the forest, which no one named.
A little while later, I gathered from their conversation that some commanding and terrifying entity was searching for the Sphinx, and that something that had occurred had made its coming inevitable. It seemed they had struck the Sphinx to provoke her out of her indifference so that she would pray to one of her gods, whom she had confined in the house of Time; but her sullen silence was unbreakable, and her indifference was so deep-rooted, ever since that event had taken place. And when they realized they could not compel her to pray, all they could do was to pay some futile attention to the rusty lock on the door, to observe the situation and wonder, and even pretend to be hopeful, saying that after all, it might not bring that fated entity from the forest, which no one dared to name.
It may be said I had chosen a gruesome house, but not if I had described the forest from which I came, and I was in need of any spot wherein I could rest my mind from the thought of it.
It might be said that I had picked a creepy house, but that wouldn’t hold true if I had described the forest I had come from, and I really needed a place to clear my mind from thinking about it.
I wondered very much what thing would come from the forest on account of the deed; and having seen that forest—as you, gentle reader, have not—I had the advantage of knowing that anything might come. It was useless to ask the Sphinx—she seldom reveals things, like her paramour Time (the gods take after her), and while this mood was on her, rebuff was certain. So I quietly began to oil the lock of the door. And as soon as they saw this simple act I won their confidence. It was not that my work was of any use—it should have been done long before; but they saw that my interest was given for the moment to the thing that they thought vital. They clustered round me then. They asked me what I thought of the door, and whether I had seen better, and whether I had seen worse; and I told them about all the doors I knew, and said that the doors of the baptistry in Florence were better doors, and the doors made by a certain firm of builders in London were worse. And then I asked them what it was that was coming after the Sphinx because of the deed. And at first they would not say, and I stopped oiling the door; and then they said that it was the arch-inquisitor of the forest, who is investigator and avenger of all silverstrian things; and from all that they said about him it seemed to me that this person was quite white, and was a kind of madness that would settle down quite blankly upon a place, a kind of mist in which reason could not live; and it was the fear of this that made them fumble nervously at the lock of that rotten door; but with the Sphinx it was not so much fear as sheer prophecy.
I really wondered what would come out of the forest because of what happened; and having seen that forest—as you, dear reader, have not—I knew that anything was possible. It was pointless to ask the Sphinx—she rarely shares information, just like her partner Time (the gods take after her), and during this mood, rejection was definite. So, I quietly started to oil the lock on the door. As soon as they saw this simple action, I gained their trust. It wasn’t that my task was necessary—it should have been done long ago; but they noticed that I was focused on the thing they believed was crucial. They gathered around me then. They asked what I thought of the door, if I had seen better ones, or worse ones; I told them about all the doors I knew, mentioning that the doors of the baptistry in Florence were better, while doors made by a certain firm of builders in London were worse. Then I asked them what was coming after the Sphinx because of the event. At first, they wouldn’t say anything, and I stopped oiling the door; then they revealed it was the arch-inquisitor of the forest, the examiner and avenger of all silverstrian matters; from everything they said about him, he seemed to be completely white, like a kind of madness that would settle blankly over a place, a fog where reason couldn’t exist; and it was this fear that made them nervously fumble with the lock of that decayed door; but with the Sphinx, it wasn’t so much fear as straightforward prophecy.
The hope that they tried to hope was well enough in its way, but I did not share it; it was clear that the thing that they feared was the corollary of the deed—one saw that more by the resignation upon the face of the Sphinx than by their sorry anxiety for the door.
The hope they tried to cling to was decent in its own way, but I didn’t share it; it was obvious that what they feared was the consequence of their actions—this was clearer from the resignation on the Sphinx's face than from their pathetic worry about the door.
The wind soughed, and the great tapers flared, and their obvious fear and the silence of the Sphinx grew more than ever a part of the atmosphere, and bats went restlessly through the gloom of the wind that beat the tapers low.
The wind rustled, and the large candles flickered, their evident fear and the silence of the Sphinx became even more a part of the atmosphere, while bats flew anxiously through the darkness created by the wind that dimmed the candles.
Then a few things screamed far off, then a little nearer, and something was coming towards us, laughing hideously. I hastily gave a prod to the door that they guarded; my finger sank right into the mouldering wood—there was not a chance of holding it. I had not leisure to observe their fright; I thought of the back-door, for the forest was better than this; only the Sphinx was absolutely calm, her prophecy was made and she seemed to have seen her doom, so that no new thing could perturb her.
Then I heard some distant screams, then closer ones, and something was coming toward us, laughing grotesquely. I quickly pushed against the door they were guarding; my finger sank into the decaying wood—there was no way to keep it shut. I didn’t have time to notice their fear; I thought of the back door because the forest seemed better than this. The Sphinx, however, was completely calm; her prophecy was made, and she seemed to have accepted her fate, so nothing new could disturb her.
But by mouldering rungs of ladders as old as Man, by slippery edges of the dreaded abyss, with an ominous dizziness about my heart and a feeling of horror in the soles of my feet, I clambered from tower to tower till I found the door that I sought; and it opened on to one of the upper branches of a huge and sombre pine, down which I climbed on to the floor of the forest. And I was glad to be back again in the forest from which I had fled.
But by decaying rungs of ladders as old as humanity, by the slippery edges of the feared abyss, with a heavy dizziness in my heart and a sense of dread in the soles of my feet, I climbed from tower to tower until I found the door I was looking for; it opened onto one of the upper branches of a massive, dark pine, down which I climbed to the forest floor. I was relieved to be back in the forest that I had escaped from.
And the Sphinx in her menaced house—I know not how she fared—whether she gazes for ever, disconsolate, at the deed, remembering only in her smitten mind, at which the little boys now leer, that she once knew well those things at which man stands aghast; or whether in the end she crept away, and clambering horribly from abyss to abyss, came at last to higher things, and is wise and eternal still. For who knows of madness whether it is divine or whether it be of the pit?
And the Sphinx in her threatened home—I don't know how she is doing—whether she stares endlessly, heartbroken, at what happened, remembering only in her troubled mind, which the little boys now mock, that she once fully understood those things that leave people in shock; or whether in the end she slipped away, crawling terrifyingly from one depth to another, eventually reaching higher places, and is still wise and eternal. Because who really knows if madness is divine or if it's just from the depths?
PROBABLE ADVENTURE OF THE THREE LITERARY MEN
When the nomads came to El Lola they had no more songs, and the question of stealing the golden box arose in all its magnitude. On the one hand, many had sought the golden box, the receptacle (as the Aethiopians know) of poems of fabulous value; and their doom is still the common talk of Arabia. On the other hand, it was lonely to sit around the camp-fire by night with no new songs.
When the nomads arrived at El Lola, they had run out of songs, and the idea of stealing the golden box came up in a big way. On one side, many had searched for the golden box, the container (as the Ethiopians call it) of priceless poems; and their fate is still a hot topic across Arabia. On the other side, it felt lonely sitting around the campfire at night without any new songs.
It was the tribe of Heth that discussed these things one evening upon the plains below the peak of Mluna. Their native land was the track across the world of immemorial wanderers; and there was trouble among the elders of the nomads because there were no new songs; while, untouched by human trouble, untouched as yet by the night that was hiding the plains away, the peak of Mluna, calm in the after-glow, looked on the Dubious Land. And it was there on the plain upon the known side of Mluna, just as the evening star came mouse-like into view and the flames of the camp-fire lifted their lonely plumes uncheered by any song, that that rash scheme was hastily planned by the nomads which the world has named The Quest of the Golden Box.
It was the tribe of Heth that talked about these things one evening on the plains below the peak of Mluna. Their homeland was the path of timeless wanderers, and there was concern among the elders of the nomads because there were no new songs; while, untouched by human troubles, still unshadowed by the night that was hiding the plains, the peak of Mluna, calm in the afterglow, overlooked the Dubious Land. And it was there on the plain on the known side of Mluna, just as the evening star appeared quietly and the flames of the campfire rose in solitude, unaccompanied by any song, that the nomads hastily planned that reckless scheme which the world has called The Quest of the Golden Box.
No measure of wiser precaution could the elders of the nomads have taken than to choose for their thief that very Slith, that identical thief that (even as I write) in how many school-rooms governesses teach stole a march on the King of Westalia. Yet the weight of the box was such that others had to accompany him, and Sippy and Slorg were no more agile thieves than may be found today among vendors of the antique.
No amount of careful planning could the elders of the nomads have made by choosing that very thief, Slith, who (even as I write) has outsmarted the King of Westalia in countless schoolrooms taught by governesses. However, the box was so heavy that others had to go with him, and Sippy and Slorg were no more nimble thieves than you’d find today among antique dealers.
So over the shoulder of Mluna these three climbed next day and slept as well as they might among its snows rather than risk a night in the woods of the Dubious Land. And the morning came up radiant and the birds were full of song, but the forest underneath and the waste beyond it and the bare and ominous crags all wore the appearance of an unuttered threat.
So the next day, these three climbed over Mluna's shoulder and tried to sleep among its snow rather than risk spending a night in the woods of the Dubious Land. The morning arrived bright and the birds were singing, but the forest below, the wasteland beyond it, and the bare, foreboding cliffs all had the look of a silent threat.
Though Slith had an experience of twenty years of theft, yet he said little; only if one of the others made a stone roll with his foot, or, later on in the forest, if one of them stepped on a twig, he whispered sharply to them always the same words: "That is not business." He knew that he could not make them better thieves during a two days' journey, and whatever doubts he had he interfered no further.
Though Slith had twenty years of experience in theft, he said very little; only if one of the others kicked a stone with their foot, or later in the forest if someone stepped on a twig, he would sharply whisper the same words to them: "That's not business." He knew he couldn't turn them into better thieves during a two-day journey, and despite any doubts he had, he didn't intervene any further.
From the shoulder of Mluna they dropped into the clouds, and from the clouds to the forest, to whose native beasts, as well the three thieves knew, all flesh was meat, whether it were the flesh of fish or man. There the thieves drew idolatrously from their pockets each one a separate god and prayed for protection in the unfortunate wood, and hoped therefrom for a threefold chance of escape, since if anything should eat one of them it were certain to eat them all, and they confided that the corollary might be true and all should escape if one did. Whether one of these gods was propitious and awake, or whether all of the three, or whether it was chance that brought them through the forest unmouthed by detestable beasts, none knoweth; but certainly neither the emissaries of the god that most they feared, nor the wrath of the topical god of that ominous place, brought their doom to the three adventurers there or then. And so it was that they came to Rumbly Heath, in the heart of the Dubious Land, whose stormy hillocks were the ground-swell and the after-wash of the earthquake lulled for a while. Something so huge that it seemed unfair to man that it should move so softly stalked splendidly by them, and only so barely did they escape its notice that one word rang and echoed through their three imaginations—"If—if—if." And when this danger was at last gone by they moved cautiously on again and presently saw the little harmless mipt, half fairy and half gnome, giving shrill, contented squeaks on the edge of the world. And they edged away unseen, for they said that the inquisitiveness of the mipt had become fabulous, and that, harmless as he was, he had a bad way with secrets; yet they probably loathed the way that he nuzzles dead white bones, and would not admit their loathing; for it does not become adventurers to care who eats their bones. Be this as it may, they edged away from the mipt, and came almost at once to the wizened tree, the goal-post of their adventure, and knew that beside them was the crack in the world and the bridge from Bad to Worse, and that underneath them stood the rocky house of Owner of the Box.
From the shoulder of Mluna, they dropped into the clouds, and from the clouds to the forest, where, as the three thieves knew, all flesh was food for the local wildlife, whether it was fish or human. There, the thieves pulled out from their pockets each a separate charm and prayed for protection in the treacherous woods, hoping for a better chance of escape, since if one of them was eaten, it was likely that all would be, and they believed the opposite could be true that if one escaped, they all would. It’s unclear whether any of these charms were effective or if it was pure luck that got them through the forest without being attacked by monstrous creatures, but surely neither the agents of the god they feared the most nor the anger of the local deity brought doom to the three adventurers at that time. And so it was that they arrived at Rumbly Heath, in the heart of Dubious Land, where the stormy hills were remnants of an earthquake that had calmed down for a bit. Something so massive, it felt almost unfair for it to move so gracefully, passed by them, and they barely escaped its notice, a single word resonating in their minds—“If—if—if.” Once that danger had passed, they proceeded cautiously and soon spotted the small, harmless mipt, half fairy and half gnome, making cheerful, high-pitched squeaks at the edge of the world. They carefully moved away unnoticed because they claimed the mipt's curiosity had grown legendary, and while it was harmless, it had a knack for uncovering secrets; yet they likely disliked how it gnawed on bleached bones but wouldn't admit it, as adventurers shouldn't worry about who consumes their remains. Regardless, they crept away from the mipt and quickly arrived at the gnarled tree, the endpoint of their journey, recognizing that beside them was the crack in the world and the bridge from Bad to Worse, with the rocky dwelling of the Owner of the Box below them.
This was their simple plan: to slip into the corridor in the upper cliff; to run softly down it (of course with naked feet) under the warning to travellers that is graven upon stone, which interpreters take to be "It Is Better Not"; not to touch the berries that are there for a purpose, on the right side going down; and so to come to the guardian on his pedestal who had slept for a thousand years and should be sleeping still; and go in through the open window. One man was to wait outside by the crack in the World until the others came out with the golden box, and, should they cry for help, he was to threaten at once to unfasten the iron clamp that kept the crack together. When the box was secured they were to travel all night and all the following day, until the cloud-banks that wrapped the slopes of Mluna were well between them and Owner of the Box.
This was their simple plan: to sneak into the hallway in the upper cliff; to quietly run down it (of course barefoot) under the warning to travelers that is carved in stone, which interpreters take to mean "It's Better Not"; not to touch the berries that are there for a reason, on the right side going down; and to reach the guardian on his pedestal who had been sleeping for a thousand years and should still be asleep; then go through the open window. One man was to wait outside by the crack in the World until the others came out with the golden box, and if they called for help, he was to immediately threaten to unfasten the iron clamp that held the crack together. Once the box was secured, they would travel all night and all the next day until the cloud-banks that surrounded the slopes of Mluna were far behind them and they were well away from the Owner of the Box.
The door in the cliff was open. They passed without a murmur down the cold steps, Slith leading them all the way. A glance of longing, no more, each gave to the beautiful berries. The guardian upon his pedestal was still asleep. Slorg climbed by a ladder, that Slith knew where to find, to the iron clamp across the crack in the World, and waited beside it with a chisel in his hand, listening closely for anything untoward, while his friends slipped into the house; and no sound came. And presently Slith and Sippy found the golden box: everything seemed happening as they had planned, it only remained to see if it was the right one and to escape with it from that dreadful place. Under the shelter of the pedestal, so near to the guardian that they could feel his warmth, which paradoxically had the effect of chilling the blood of the boldest of them, they smashed the emerald hasp and opened the golden box; and there they read by the light of ingenious sparks which Slith knew how to contrive, and even this poor light they hid with their bodies. What was their joy, even at that perilous moment, as they lurked between the guardian and the abyss, to find that the box contained fifteen peerless odes in the alcaic form, five sonnets that were by far the most beautiful in the world, nine ballads in the manner of Provence that had no equal in the treasuries of man, a poem addressed to a moth in twenty-eight perfect stanzas, a piece of blank verse of over a hundred lines on a level not yet known to have been attained by man, as well as fifteen lyrics on which no merchant would dare to set a price. They would have read them again, for they gave happy tears to a man and memories of dear things done in infancy, and brought sweet voices from far sepulchres; but Slith pointed imperiously to the way by which they had come, and extinguished the light; and Slorg and Sippy sighed, then took the box.
The door in the cliff was open. They quietly made their way down the cold steps, with Slith leading them. Each of them stole a brief, longing glance at the beautiful berries. The guardian on his pedestal was still asleep. Slorg climbed up a ladder that Slith knew where to find, waiting next to the iron clamp across the crack in the World, holding a chisel and listening intently for anything out of the ordinary, while his friends slipped into the house; but no sound came. Soon, Slith and Sippy discovered the golden box: everything seemed to unfold as they had planned, and it was now just a matter of determining if it was the right one and escaping that dreadful place. Huddled under the pedestal, so close to the guardian that they could feel his warmth—which oddly sent chills through the bravest among them—they broke the emerald hasp and opened the golden box. They read by the clever sparks that Slith had figured out how to create, and they even shielded that faint light with their bodies. Their joy, even in that risky moment, as they crouched between the guardian and the abyss, was immense when they found that the box held fifteen flawless odes in alcaic form, five of the most beautiful sonnets in existence, nine unrivaled ballads in the style of Provence, a poem addressed to a moth with twenty-eight perfect stanzas, a piece of blank verse with over a hundred lines at an unprecedented level of skill, and fifteen lyrics that no merchant would dare to value. They would have read them again, as they brought happy tears to a man and memories of cherished moments from childhood, evoking sweet voices from distant graves; but Slith pointed authoritatively to the way they had come and extinguished the light. Slorg and Sippy sighed and then took the box.
The guardian still slept the sleep that survived a thousand years.
The guardian still slept the sleep that lasted a thousand years.
As they came away they saw that indulgent chair close by the edge of the World in which Owner of the Box had lately sat reading selfishly and alone the most beautiful songs and verses that poet ever dreamed.
As they walked away, they noticed that comfy chair right by the edge of the World where the Owner of the Box had recently been sitting, reading alone and selfishly the most beautiful songs and poems that any poet has ever imagined.
They came in silence to the foot of the stairs; and then it befell that as they drew near safely, in the night's most secret hour, some hand in an upper chamber lit a shocking light, lit it and made no sound.
They arrived quietly at the bottom of the stairs; and then, as they approached safely, in the deepest part of the night, some unseen hand in an upper room turned on a startling light, switched it on without making a sound.
For a moment it might have been an ordinary light, fatal as even that could very well be at such a moment as this; but when it began to follow them like an eye and to grow redder and redder as it watched them, then even optimism despaired.
For a moment, it might have seemed like a regular light, deadly as that could be in a moment like this; but when it started to follow them like an eye and turned redder and redder as it watched them, even hope faded away.
And Sippy very unwisely attempted flight, and Slorg even as unwisely tried to hide; but Slith, knowing well why that light was lit in that secret upper chamber and who it was that lit it, leaped over the edge of the World and is falling from us still through the unreverberate blackness of the abyss.
And Sippy made a foolish attempt to escape, while Slorg, just as foolishly, tried to hide; but Slith, fully aware of why that light was on in that hidden upper room and who had turned it on, jumped over the edge of the World and is still falling through the endless darkness of the abyss.
THE INJUDICIOUS PRAYERS OF POMBO THE IDOLATER
Pombo the idolater had prayed to Ammuz a simple prayer, a necessary prayer, such as even an idol of ivory could very easily grant, and Ammuz had not immediately granted it. Pombo had therefore prayed to Tharma for the overthrow of Ammuz, an idol friendly to Tharma, and in doing this offended against the etiquette of the gods. Tharma refused to grant the little prayer. Pombo prayed frantically to all the gods of idolatry, for though it was a simple matter, yet it was very necessary to a man. And gods that were older than Ammuz rejected the prayers of Pombo, and even gods that were younger and therefore of greater repute. He prayed to them one by one, and they all refused to hear him; nor at first did he think at all of that subtle, divine etiquette against which he had offended. It occurred to him all at once as he prayed to his fiftieth idol, a little green-jade god whom the Chinese know, that all the idols were in league against him. When Pombo discovered this he resented his birth bitterly, and made lamentation and alleged that he was lost. He might have been seen then in any part of London haunting curiosity-shops and places where they sold idols of ivory or of stone, for he dwelt in London with others of his race though he was born in Burmah among those who hold Ganges holy. On drizzly evenings of November's worst his haggard face could be seen in the glow of some shop pressed close against the glass, where he would supplicate some calm, cross-legged idol till policemen moved him on. And after closing hours back he would go to his dingy room, in that part of our capital where English is seldom spoken, to supplicate little idols of his own. And when Pombo's simple, necessary prayer was equally refused by the idols of museums, auction-rooms, shops, then he took counsel with himself and purchased incense and burned it in a brazier before his own cheap little idols, and played the while upon an instrument such as that wherewith men charm snakes. And still the idols clung to their etiquette.
Pombo the idolater had prayed to Ammuz with a simple request, a basic prayer that even an ivory idol could easily grant, but Ammuz did not respond right away. Frustrated, Pombo then prayed to Tharma for the downfall of Ammuz, who was friendly to Tharma, and in doing so, broke the unspoken rules among the gods. Tharma refused to grant his small request. Pombo desperately prayed to all the gods of idolatry; although it was a simple matter, it was crucial for him. Even gods older than Ammuz ignored Pombo's prayers, as did younger gods who had better reputations. He prayed to each one individually, and all of them turned him down; at first, he didn't even consider the divine etiquette he had violated. It struck him suddenly while praying to his fiftieth idol, a small green-jade god familiar to the Chinese, that all the idols were conspiring against him. When Pombo realized this, he bitterly resented his existence, lamenting that he was doomed. At that time, he could be seen anywhere in London, lingering around curiosity shops and places selling ivory or stone idols. He lived in London with others of his race, although he was born in Burmah among those who revere the Ganges. On the dreary evenings of November's worst, his gaunt face could be seen pressed against the glass of some shop, where he would beseech a calm, cross-legged idol until the police moved him along. After closing hours, he would return to his dingy room in a part of the capital where English was seldom spoken to plead with little idols of his own. And when his simple, necessary prayer was equally rejected by the idols in museums, auction houses, and shops, he reflected on his situation and bought incense to burn in a brazier before his cheap little idols, while playing an instrument similar to the ones used to charm snakes. Yet, the idols remained steadfast in their etiquette.
Whether Pombo knew about this etiquette and considered it frivolous in the face of his need, or whether his need, now grown desperate, unhinged his mind, I know not, but Pombo the idolater took a stick and suddenly turned iconoclast.
Whether Pombo was aware of this etiquette and thought it was silly given his need, or if his now desperate situation caused him to lose touch with reality, I can't say, but Pombo the idol worshiper grabbed a stick and suddenly became a destroyer of idols.
Pombo the iconoclast immediately left his house, leaving his idols to be swept away with the dust and so to mingle with Man, and went to an arch-idolater of repute who carved idols out of rare stones, and put his case before him. The arch-idolater who made idols of his own rebuked Pombo in the name of Man for having broken his idols—"for hath not Man made them?" the arch-idolater said; and concerning the idols themselves he spoke long and learnedly, explaining divine etiquette, and how Pombo had offended, and how no idol in the world would listen to Pombo's prayer. When Pombo heard this he wept and made bitter outcry, and cursed the gods of ivory and the gods of jade, and the hand of Man that made them, but most of all he cursed their etiquette that had undone, as he said, an innocent man; so that at last that arch-idolater, who made idols of his own, stopped in his work upon an idol of jasper for a king that was weary of Wosh, and took compassion on Pombo, and told him that though no idol in the world would listen to his prayer, yet only a little way over the edge of it a certain disreputable idol sat who knew nothing of etiquette, and granted prayers that no respectable god would ever consent to hear. When Pombo heard this he took two handfuls of the arch-idolater's beard and kissed them joyfully, and dried his tears and became his old impertinent self again. And he that carved from jasper the usurper of Wosh explained how in the village of World's End, at the furthest end of Last Street, there is a hole that you take to be a well, close by the garden wall, but that if you lower yourself by your hands over the edge of the hole, and feel about with your feet till they find a ledge, that is the top step of a flight of stairs that takes you down over the edge of the World. "For all that men know, those stairs may have a purpose and even a bottom step," said the arch-idolater, "but discussion about the lower flights is idle." Then the teeth of Pombo chattered, for he feared the darkness, but he that made idols of his own explained that those stairs were always lit by the faint blue gloaming in which the World spins. "Then," he said, "you will go by Lonely House and under the bridge that leads from the House to Nowhere, and whose purpose is not guessed; thence past Maharrion, the god of flowers, and his high-priest, who is neither bird nor cat; and so you will come to the little idol Duth, the disreputable god that will grant your prayer." And he went on carving again at his idol of jasper for the king who was weary of Wosh; and Pombo thanked him and went singing away, for in his vernacular mind he thought that "he had the gods."
Pombo the rebel immediately left his house, leaving his idols to be swept away with the dust and blend with humanity, and went to a renowned idol-maker who carved idols out of rare stones to share his situation. The idol-maker, who created his own idols, scolded Pombo on behalf of humanity for breaking his idols—"Isn’t it humanity that made them?" the idol-maker said. He spoke extensively and knowledgeably about divine etiquette, how Pombo had offended it, and how no idol in the world would listen to Pombo's prayer. When Pombo heard this, he cried and let out a bitter lament, cursing the gods of ivory and the gods of jade, as well as the hands of humanity that created them, but most of all he cursed their etiquette that had wronged, as he said, an innocent man. Finally, the idol-maker, who made his own figures, paused in his work on a jasper idol for a king who was tired of Wosh, felt pity for Pombo, and told him that while no idol in the world would hear his prayer, just a little way beyond there was a certain shabby idol who didn’t care about etiquette and granted prayers that no respectable god would ever agree to hear. Upon hearing this, Pombo joyfully grabbed two handfuls of the idol-maker's beard and kissed them, dried his tears, and returned to his old cheeky self. The idol-maker explained that in the village of World's End, at the far end of Last Street, there was a hole that looked like a well near the garden wall. He said that if Pombo lowered himself by his hands over the edge of the hole and felt around with his feet until they found a ledge, that was the first step down a flight of stairs that took you over the edge of the World. "For all we know, those stairs might serve a purpose and even have a bottom step," said the idol-maker, "but discussing the lower steps is pointless." Then Pombo shivered, fearing the darkness, but the idol-maker reassured him that those stairs were always lit by a faint blue glow in which the World turns. "Then," he said, "you will go past Lonely House and under the bridge that connects the House to Nowhere, which no one understands; then you’ll pass Maharrion, the god of flowers, and his high priest, who is neither bird nor cat; and then you will reach the little idol Duth, the disreputable god who will grant your prayer." He then returned to carving his jasper idol for the king who was fed up with Wosh; Pombo thanked him and went on his way, singing because in his mind he thought that "he had the gods."
It is a long journey from London to World's End, and Pombo had no money left, yet within five weeks he was strolling along Last Street; but how he contrived to get there I will not say, for it was not entirely honest. And Pombo found the well at the end of the garden beyond the end house of Last Street, and many thoughts ran through his mind as he hung by his hands from the edge, but chiefest of all those thoughts was one that said the gods were laughing at him through the mouth of the arch-idolater, their prophet, and the thought beat in his head till it ached like his wrists ... and then he found the step.
It’s a long trip from London to World's End, and Pombo was broke, yet within five weeks he was walking down Last Street; but I won’t say how he made it there, because it wasn’t entirely above board. Pombo came across the well at the end of the garden, just past the last house on Last Street, and a lot of thoughts flooded his mind as he hung from the edge with his hands, but the main thought that kept coming back was that the gods were laughing at him through the voice of the arch-idolater, their prophet, and that thought pounded in his head until it hurt like his wrists... and then he found the step.
And Pombo walked downstairs. There, sure enough, was the gloaming in which the world spins, and stars shone far off in it faintly; there was nothing before him as he went downstairs but that strange blue waste of gloaming, with its multitudes of stars, and comets plunging through it on outward journeys and comets returning home. And then he saw the lights of the bridge to Nowhere, and all of a sudden he was in the glare of the shimmering parlour-window of Lonely House; and he heard voices there pronouncing words, and the voices were nowise human, and but for his bitter need he had screamed and fled. Halfway between the voices and Maharrion, whom he now saw standing out from the world, covered in rainbow halos, he perceived the weird grey beast that is neither cat nor bird. As Pombo hesitated, chilly with fear, he heard those voices grow louder in Lonely House, and at that he stealthily moved a few steps lower, and then rushed past the beast. The beast intently watched Maharrion hurling up bubbles that are every one a season of spring in unknown constellations, calling the swallows home to unimagined fields, watched him without even turning to look at Pombo, and saw him drop into the Linlunlarna, the river that rises at the edge of the World, the golden pollen that sweetens the tide of the river and is carried away from the World to be a joy to the Stars. And there before Pombo was the little disreputable god who cares nothing for etiquette and will answer prayers that are refused by all the respectable idols. And whether the view of him, at last, excited Pombo's eagerness, or whether his need was greater than he could bear that it drove him so swiftly downstairs, or whether, as is most likely, he ran too fast past the beast, I do not know, and it does not matter to Pombo; but at any rate he could not stop, as he had designed, in attitude of prayer at the feet of Duth, but ran on past him down the narrowing steps, clutching at smooth, bare rocks till he fell from the World as, when our hearts miss a beat, we fall in dreams and wake up with a dreadful jolt; but there was no waking up for Pombo, who still fell on towards the incurious stars, and his fate is even one with the fate of Slith.
And Pombo walked downstairs. There, sure enough, was the twilight in which the world turns, and stars shone faintly in the distance; there was nothing in front of him as he descended but that strange blue expanse of twilight, filled with countless stars and comets traveling away and others returning home. Then he saw the lights of the bridge to Nowhere, and suddenly he was in the bright glare of the shimmering parlor window of Lonely House; he heard voices inside speaking words that were not human, and if it weren't for his desperate need, he would have screamed and run away. Halfway between the voices and Maharrion, who he now saw standing apart from the world, surrounded by rainbow halos, he noticed the strange gray creature that was neither a cat nor a bird. As Pombo hesitated, chilled by fear, he heard the voices in Lonely House grow louder, and quietly took a few steps down, then rushed past the creature. The creature intently watched Maharrion blowing up bubbles, each one representing a season of spring in unknown constellations, calling the swallows home to unimaginable fields, and it didn’t even turn to look at Pombo as it saw him drop into the Linlunlarna, the river that rises at the edge of the World, with its golden pollen sweetening the river's tide and being carried away from the World to bring joy to the Stars. And there before Pombo was the little disreputable god who cares nothing for etiquette and will answer prayers that are refused by all the respectable idols. Whether seeing him finally fueled Pombo's eagerness or his need was so overwhelming that it pushed him down the stairs more quickly, or whether, most likely, he just ran too fast past the creature, I don't know, and it's irrelevant to Pombo; but at any rate, he couldn't stop, as he had intended, in a posture of prayer at Duth’s feet, but continued running down the narrowing steps, gripping smooth, bare rocks until he fell from the World as if our hearts miss a beat, falling in dreams and waking up with a terrible start; but there was no waking up for Pombo, who kept falling toward the indifferent stars, and his fate is now intertwined with the fate of Slith.
THE LOOT OF BOMBASHARNA
Things had grown too hot for Shard, captain of pirates, on all the seas that he knew. The ports of Spain were closed to him; they knew him in San Domingo; men winked in Syracuse when he went by; the two Kings of the Sicilies never smiled within an hour of speaking of him; there were huge rewards for his head in every capital city, with pictures of it for identification—and all the pictures were unflattering. Therefore Captain Shard decided that the time had come to tell his men the secret.
Things had become too dangerous for Shard, the pirate captain, on all the seas he knew. The ports of Spain were barred to him; people recognized him in San Domingo; men exchanged knowing glances in Syracuse when he passed by; the two Kings of the Sicilies never smiled for an hour after mentioning his name; there were huge bounties on his head in every capital city, complete with pictures for identification—and all the pictures were unflattering. So, Captain Shard decided it was time to tell his men the secret.
Riding off Teneriffe one night, he called them all together. He generously admitted that there were things in the past that might require explanation: the crowns that the Princes of Aragon had sent to their nephews the Kings of the two Americas had certainly never reached their Most Sacred Majesties. Where, men might ask, were the eyes of Captain Stobbud? Who had been burning towns on the Patagonian seaboard? Why should such a ship as theirs choose pearls for cargo? Why so much blood on the decks and so many guns? And where was the Nancy, the Lark, or the Margaret Belle? Such questions as these, he urged, might be asked by the inquisitive, and if counsel for the defence should happen to be a fool, and unacquainted with the ways of the sea, they might become involved in troublesome legal formulae. And Bloody Bill, as they rudely called Mr. Gagg, a member of the crew, looked up at the sky, and said that it was a windy night and looked like hanging. And some of those present thoughtfully stroked their necks while Captain Shard unfolded to them his plan. He said the time was come to quit the Desperate Lark, for she was too well known to the navies of four kingdoms, and a fifth was getting to know her, and others had suspicions. (More cutters than even Captain Shard suspected were already looking for her jolly black flag with its neat skull-and-crossbones in yellow.) There was a little archipelago that he knew of on the wrong side of the Sargasso Sea; there were about thirty islands there, bare, ordinary islands, but one of them floated. He had noticed it years ago, and had gone ashore and never told a soul, but had quietly anchored it with the anchor of his ship to the bottom of the sea, which just there was profoundly deep, and had made the thing the secret of his life, determining to marry and settle down there if it ever became impossible to earn his livelihood in the usual way at sea. When first he saw it, it was drifting slowly, with the wind in the tops of the trees; but if the cable had not rusted away, it should be still where he left it, and they would make a rudder and hollow out cabins below, and at night they would hoist sails to the trunks of the trees and sail wherever they liked.
Riding off Teneriffe one night, he gathered everyone together. He openly acknowledged that there were past events that might need clarification: the crowns that the Princes of Aragon had sent to their nephews, the Kings of the two Americas, had definitely never reached their Most Sacred Majesties. People might ask, where was Captain Stobbud's attention? Who had been torching towns along the Patagonian coast? Why would a ship like theirs choose pearls as cargo? Why was there so much blood on the decks and so many guns? And where were the Nancy, the Lark, or the Margaret Belle? Questions like these, he insisted, might be posed by the curious, and if the defense attorney happened to be clueless and unfamiliar with maritime matters, they could find themselves tangled up in complicated legal jargon. And Bloody Bill, as they rudely called Mr. Gagg, one of the crew members, looked up at the sky, remarking that it was a windy night and seemed to be signaling for a hanging. Some of those present thoughtfully rubbed their necks while Captain Shard laid out his plan. He said it was time to leave the Desperate Lark, as she was too well-known to the navies of four kingdoms, and a fifth was starting to recognize her, with others harboring suspicions. (More cutters than even Captain Shard anticipated were already on the lookout for her cheerful black flag with its neat yellow skull-and-crossbones.) There was a small group of islands he knew about on the far side of the Sargasso Sea; about thirty unremarkable islands, but one of them was floating. He had spotted it years ago, gone ashore, and never mentioned it to anyone, but had quietly anchored it to the ocean floor with his ship's anchor, which was quite deep in that spot. He had kept it a secret all his life, planning to settle down there if it ever became impossible to earn a living at sea. When he first saw it, it was slowly drifting with the wind rustling through the trees; but if the cable hadn’t rusted away, it should still be where he left it. They would make a rudder and carve out cabins below, and at night they would hoist sails to the tree trunks and sail wherever they wanted.
And all the pirates cheered, for they wanted to set their feet on land again somewhere where the hangman would not come and jerk them off it at once; and bold men though they were, it was a strain seeing so many lights coming their way at night. Even then...! But it swerved away again and was lost in the mist.
And all the pirates cheered because they wanted to set foot on land again in a place where the hangman wouldn’t come and drag them off right away; and even though they were brave men, it was a lot to take in seeing so many lights approaching them at night. Even then...! But it turned away again and disappeared into the fog.
And Captain Shard said that they would need to get provisions first, and he, for one, intended to marry before he settled down; and so they should have one more fight before they left the ship, and sack the sea-coast city of Bombasharna and take from it provisions for several years, while he himself would marry the Queen of the South. And again the pirates cheered, for often they had seen seacoast Bombasharna, and had always envied its opulence from the sea.
And Captain Shard said they needed to get supplies first, and he, for one, planned to get married before he settled down; so they should have one more fight before leaving the ship, raid the coastal city of Bombasharna, and take enough supplies to last several years, while he himself would marry the Queen of the South. The pirates cheered again, as they had often seen the coastal city of Bombasharna and had always envied its wealth from the sea.
So they set all sail, and often altered their course, and dodged and fled from strange lights till dawn appeared, and all day long fled southwards. And by evening they saw the silver spires of slender Bombasharna, a city that was the glory of the coast. And in the midst of it, far away though they were, they saw the palace of the Queen of the South; and it was so full of windows all looking toward the sea, and they were so full of light, both from the sunset that was fading upon the water and from candles that maids were lighting one by one, that it looked far off like a pearl, shimmering still in its haliotis shell, still wet from the sea.
So they set all the sails, frequently changed their course, and avoided strange lights until dawn broke. All day long, they continued heading south. By evening, they spotted the silver spires of slender Bombasharna, a city that was the pride of the coast. In the center of it, though they were quite a distance away, they saw the palace of the Queen of the South; it was filled with windows facing the sea, all aglow with light, both from the fading sunset over the water and from candles that maids were lighting one by one. From afar, it looked like a pearl shimmering in its shell, still wet from the ocean.
So Captain Shard and his pirates saw it, at evening over the water, and thought of rumours that said that Bombasharna was the loveliest city of the coasts of the world, and that its palace was lovelier even than Bombasharna; but for the Queen of the South rumour had no comparison. Then night came down and hid the silver spires, and Shard slipped on through the gathering darkness until by midnight the piratic ship lay under the seaward battlements.
So Captain Shard and his pirates spotted it in the evening over the water and recalled the rumors that claimed Bombasharna was the most beautiful city along the coast of the world, with a palace even more stunning than Bombasharna itself; but when it came to the Queen of the South, no rumor could compare. Then night fell and obscured the silver spires, and Shard moved silently through the deepening darkness until, by midnight, the pirate ship rested beneath the seaward battlements.
And at the hour when sick men mostly die, and sentries on lonely ramparts stand to arms, exactly half-an-hour before dawn, Shard, with two rowing boats and half his crew, with craftily muffled oars, landed below the battlements. They were through the gateway of the palace itself before the alarm was sounded, and as soon as they heard the alarm Shard's gunners at sea opened upon the town, and before the sleepy soldiery of Bombasharna knew whether the danger was from the land or the sea, Shard had successfully captured the Queen of the South. They would have looted all day that silver sea-coast city, but there appeared with dawn suspicious topsails just along the horizon. Therefore the captain with his Queen went down to the shore at once and hastily re-embarked and sailed away with what loot they had hurriedly got, and with fewer men, for they had to fight a good deal to get back to the boat. They cursed all day the interference of those ominous ships which steadily grew nearer. There were six ships at first, and that night they slipped away from all but two; but all the next day those two were still in sight, and each of them had more guns than the Desperate Lark. All the next night Shard dodged about the sea, but the two ships separated and one kept him in sight, and the next morning it was alone with Shard on the sea, and his archipelago was just in sight, the secret of his life.
And at the time when most sick people die, and guards on remote walls are alert, exactly thirty minutes before dawn, Shard, with two rowboats and half of his crew, quietly landed below the battlements with muffled oars. They were through the palace gateway before the alarm was raised, and as soon as they heard it, Shard's gunners at sea attacked the town. Before the drowsy soldiers of Bombasharna could figure out whether the threat came from land or sea, Shard had successfully captured the Queen of the South. They planned to loot the silver coastal city all day, but as dawn broke, they spotted suspicious sails appearing on the horizon. So, the captain and his Queen quickly went down to the shore, re-boarded their ship, and sailed away with the hurriedly collected loot and fewer men, as they had to fight to get back to the boat. They cursed all day about the interference of those looming ships that kept getting closer. There were initially six ships, and that night they managed to escape from all but two. But the next day, those two were still in sight, each of them armed with more cannons than the Desperate Lark. All through the next night, Shard navigated around the sea, but the two ships split up, and one stayed on his tail. The following morning, it was just him and that ship on the sea, with his secret archipelago in sight, the key to his life.
And Shard saw he must fight, and a bad fight it was, and yet it suited Shard's purpose, for he had more merry men when the fight began than he needed for his island. And they got it over before any other ship came up; and Shard put all adverse evidence out of the way, and came that night to the islands near the Sargasso Sea.
And Shard realized he had to fight, and it was a tough fight, but it worked out for Shard because he had more crew members when the fight started than he actually needed for his island. They finished the fight before any other ship showed up; then Shard cleared away any opposing evidence and that night reached the islands near the Sargasso Sea.
Long before it was light the survivors of the crew were peering at the sea, and when dawn came there was the island, no bigger than two ships, straining hard at its anchor, with the wind in the tops of the trees.
Long before it got light, the surviving crew members were looking out at the sea, and when dawn arrived, there was the island, no bigger than two ships, straining hard at its anchor, with the wind rustling through the tops of the trees.
And then they landed and dug cabins below and raised the anchor out of the deep sea, and soon they made the island what they called shipshape. But the Desperate Lark they sent away empty under full sail to sea, where more nations than Shard suspected were watching for her, and where she was presently captured by an admiral of Spain, who, when he found none of that famous crew on board to hang by the neck from the yard-arm, grew ill through disappointment.
And then they landed, built cabins below, and pulled up the anchor from the deep sea, soon turning the island into what they called shipshape. But the Desperate Lark they sent away empty, sailing out to sea, where more nations than Shard thought were watching for her. She was soon captured by a Spanish admiral who, upon discovering that none of that famous crew were on board to hang from the yardarm, became sick with disappointment.
And Shard on his island offered the Queen of the South the choicest of the old wines of Provence, and for adornment gave her Indian jewels looted from galleons with treasure for Madrid, and spread a table where she dined in the sun, while in some cabin below he bade the least coarse of his mariners sing; yet always she was morose and moody towards him, and often at evening he was heard to say that he wished he knew more about the ways of Queens. So they lived for years, the pirates mostly gambling and drinking below, Captain Shard trying to please the Queen of the South, and she never wholly forgetting Bombasharna. When they needed new provisions they hoisted sails on the trees, and as long as no ship came in sight they scudded before the wind, with the water rippling over the beach of the island; but as soon as they sighted a ship the sails came down, and they became an ordinary uncharted rock.
And Shard on his island offered the Queen of the South the finest wines from Provence, and to impress her, he gave her Indian jewels stolen from treasure galleons bound for Madrid, setting a table for her to dine in the sun while, below in the cabin, he had his least rough mariners sing. Yet she always seemed gloomy and distant towards him, and often in the evenings he would say he wished he understood more about how Queens think. So they lived like this for years, with the pirates mostly gambling and drinking below, Captain Shard trying to win over the Queen of the South, while she never completely forgot about Bombasharna. When they needed fresh supplies, they would hoist sails in the trees, and as long as no ship was in sight, they would sail with the wind, the water rippling over the beach of the island. But as soon as they spotted a ship, the sails would come down, and they would turn into just another uncharted rock.
They mostly moved by night; sometimes they hovered off sea-coast towns as of old, sometimes they boldly entered river-mouths, and even attached themselves for a while to the mainland, whence they would plunder the neighbourhood and escape again to sea. And if a ship was wrecked on their island of a night they said it was all to the good. They grew very crafty in seamanship, and cunning in what they did, for they knew that any news of the Desperate Lark's old crew would bring hangmen from the interior running down to every port.
They mostly traveled at night; sometimes they lingered near coastal towns like before, other times they boldly entered river mouths, and even connected with the mainland for a bit, from where they would rob the area and then escape back to the sea. If a ship got wrecked on their island at night, they thought it was a good thing. They became really skilled at sailing and clever in their actions, because they knew that any news about the Desperate Lark's former crew would bring hangmen rushing from the interior to every port.
And no one is known to have found them out or to have annexed their island; but a rumour arose and passed from port to port and every place where sailors meet together, and even survives to this day, of a dangerous uncharted rock anywhere between Plymouth and the Horn, which would suddenly rise in the safest track of ships, and upon which vessels were supposed to have been wrecked, leaving, strangely enough, no evidence of their doom. There was a little speculation about it at first, till it was silenced by the chance remark of a man old with wandering: "It is one of the mysteries that haunt the sea."
And no one is known to have discovered them or taken over their island; however, a rumor spread from port to port and everywhere sailors gathered, and it even exists to this day, about a treacherous uncharted rock located somewhere between Plymouth and the Horn. This rock is said to suddenly appear in the safest shipping routes, and ships are thought to have been wrecked on it, curiously leaving no sign of their fate. Initially, there was some speculation about it, but it was quieted by the casual comment of an experienced traveler: "It's one of the mysteries that haunt the sea."
And almost Captain Shard and the Queen of the South lived happily ever after, though still at evening those on watch in the trees would see their captain sit with a puzzled air or hear him muttering now and again in a discontented way: "I wish I knew more about the ways of Queens."
And almost Captain Shard and the Queen of the South lived happily ever after, though still in the evening those watching from the trees would see their captain sitting with a puzzled look or hear him muttering now and then in a dissatisfied tone: "I wish I knew more about how Queens operate."
MISS CUBBIDGE AND THE DRAGON OF ROMANCE
This tale is told in the balconies of Belgrave Square and among the towers of Pont Street; men sing it at evening in the Brompton Road.
This story is shared in the balconies of Belgrave Square and among the towers of Pont Street; men sing it in the evening on Brompton Road.
Little upon her eighteenth birthday thought Miss Cubbidge, of Number 12A Prince of Wales' Square, that before another year had gone its way she would lose the sight of that unshapely oblong that was so long her home. And, had you told her further that within that year all trace of that so-called square, and of the day when her father was elected by a thumping majority to share in the guidance of the destinies of the empire, should utterly fade from her memory, she would merely have said in that affected voice of hers, "Go to!"
Little did Miss Cubbidge, who lived at Number 12A Prince of Wales' Square, think on her eighteenth birthday that by the time another year passed, she would lose sight of that oddly shaped rectangle that had been her home for so long. And if you had told her that within that year, all memory of that so-called square and the day her father was elected by a huge majority to help guide the empire's fate would completely vanish, she would have just said in her usual dramatic tone, "Oh, please!"
There was nothing about it in the daily Press, the policy of her father's party had no provision for it, there was no hint of it in conversation at evening parties to which Miss Cubbidge went: there was nothing to warn her at all that a loathsome dragon with golden scales that rattled as he went should have come up clean out of the prime of romance and gone by night (so far as we know) through Hammersmith, and come to Ardle Mansions, and then had turned to his left, which of course brought him to Miss Cubbidge's father's house.
There wasn’t anything about it in the daily news, her father’s party didn’t have any plans for it, and no one mentioned it during the evening parties Miss Cubbidge attended. There were no signs at all that a disgusting dragon with golden scales that rattled as he moved had emerged straight out of a romantic tale and, as far as we know, wandered through Hammersmith at night, headed to Ardle Mansions, and then turned left, which of course led him to Miss Cubbidge’s father’s house.
There sat Miss Cubbidge at evening on her balcony quite alone, waiting for her father to be made a baronet. She was wearing walking-boots and a hat and a low-necked evening dress; for a painter was but just now painting her portrait and neither she nor the painter saw anything odd in the strange combination. She did not notice the roar of the dragon's golden scales, nor distinguish above the manifold lights of London the small, red glare of his eyes. He suddenly lifted his head, a blaze of gold, over the balcony; he did not appear a yellow dragon then, for his glistening scales reflected the beauty that London puts upon her only at evening and night. She screamed, but to no knight, nor knew what knight to call on, nor guessed where were the dragons' overthrowers of far, romantic days, nor what mightier game they chased, or what wars they waged; perchance they were busy even then arming for Armageddon.
Miss Cubbidge was sitting alone on her balcony in the evening, waiting for her father to be made a baronet. She was dressed in walking boots, a hat, and a low-cut evening dress because a painter had just finished her portrait, and neither she nor the painter found anything strange about the odd outfit combination. She didn’t notice the roar of the dragon’s golden scales or see the small, red glint of his eyes above the many lights of London. Suddenly, he raised his head, a blaze of gold, over the balcony; he didn’t look like a yellow dragon then, as his shiny scales reflected the beauty that London only shows in the evening and at night. She screamed, but not for any knight, nor did she know which knight to call, nor could she guess where the dragon-slaying heroes of old went, or what greater battles they were fighting; maybe they were even busy getting ready for Armageddon.
Out of the balcony of her father's house in Prince of Wales' Square, the painted dark-green balcony that grew blacker every year, the dragon lifted Miss Cubbidge and spread his rattling wings, and London fell away like an old fashion. And England fell away, and the smoke of its factories, and the round material world that goes humming round the sun vexed and pursued by time, until there appeared the eternal and ancient lands of Romance lying low by mystical seas.
From the balcony of her dad's house in Prince of Wales' Square, the painted dark-green balcony that got darker every year, the dragon lifted Miss Cubbidge and spread his rattling wings, and London faded away like an outdated trend. And England faded away, and the smoke from its factories, and the round material world that spins around the sun, troubled and chased by time, until the timeless and ancient lands of Romance appeared, lying low by mystical seas.
You had not pictured Miss Cubbidge stroking the golden head of one of the dragons of song with one hand idly, while with the other she sometimes played with pearls brought up from lonely places of the sea. They filled huge haliotis shells with pearls and laid them there beside her, they brought her emeralds which she set to flash among the tresses of her long black hair, they brought her threaded sapphires for her cloak: all this the princes of fable did and the elves and the gnomes of myth. And partly she still lived, and partly she was one with long-ago and with those sacred tales that nurses tell, when all their children are good, and evening has come, and the fire is burning well, and the soft pat-pat of the snowflakes on the pane is like the furtive tread of fearful things in old, enchanted woods. If at first she missed those dainty novelties among which she was reared, the old, sufficient song of the mystical sea singing of faery lore at first soothed and at last consoled her. Even, she forgot those advertisements of pills that are so dear to England; even, she forgot political cant and the things that one discusses and the things that one does not, and had perforce to content herself with seeing sailing by huge golden-laden galleons with treasure for Madrid, and the merry skull-and-cross-bones of the pirateers, and the tiny nautilus setting out to sea, and ships of heroes trafficking in romance or of princes seeking for enchanted isles.
You never imagined Miss Cubbidge gently stroking the golden head of one of the song dragons with one hand while playing with pearls collected from the deep sea with the other. They filled large haliotis shells with pearls and placed them beside her; they brought her emeralds that she wove into her long black hair, and threaded sapphires for her cloak: all this was done by the princes of fable and the elves and gnomes of myth. She existed in part, and in part, she was intertwined with the past and those sacred stories that nurses tell when their children are being good, evening has arrived, the fire is crackling, and the soft patter of snowflakes against the window is like the stealthy footsteps of fearful things in ancient, enchanted woods. If at first she missed those delicate novelties from her upbringing, the old, comforting song of the mystical sea, singing of fairy tales, initially soothed her and eventually brought her peace. She even forgot about those pill advertisements that are so popular in England; she even forgot political jargon and all the topics people discuss and those they avoid, and had to settle for watching massive galleons loaded with treasure sailing by to Madrid, the cheerful skull-and-crossbones of pirates, the tiny nautilus heading out to sea, and ships of heroes trading in romance or princes searching for enchanted islands.
It was not by chains that the dragon kept her there, but by one of the spells of old. To one to whom the facilities of the daily Press had for so long been accorded spells would have palled—you would have said—and galleons after a time and all things out-of-date. After a time. But whether the centuries passed her or whether the years or whether no time at all, she did not know. If anything indicated the passing of time it was the rhythm of elfin horns blowing upon the heights. If the centuries went by her the spell that bound her gave her also perennial youth, and kept alight for ever the lantern by her side, and saved from decay the marble palace facing the mystical sea. And if no time went by her there at all, her single moment on those marvellous coasts was turned as it were to a crystal reflecting a thousand scenes. If it was all a dream, it was a dream that knew no morning and no fading away. The tide roamed on and whispered of mastery and of myth, while near that captive lady, asleep in his marble tank the golden dragon dreamed: and a little way out from the coast all that the dragon dreamed showed faintly in the mist that lay over the sea. He never dreamed of any rescuing knight. So long as he dreamed, it was twilight; but when he came up nimbly out of his tank night fell and starlight glistened on the dripping, golden scales.
It wasn't chains that kept the dragon from leaving, but an ancient spell. For someone who had been given access to the daily newspaper for so long, spells would eventually seem boring—you would think—and even gold coins would become outdated. Eventually. But whether centuries passed her by or just years, or whether no time passed at all, she didn’t know. If anything marked the passage of time, it was the sound of elfin horns echoing in the heights. If centuries ignored her, the spell that ensnared her also granted her eternal youth, kept the lantern by her side shining forever, and preserved the marble palace facing the mystical sea from decay. And if no time passed for her at all, her single moment on those magical shores was transformed into a crystal that reflected a thousand scenes. If it was all a dream, it was one that had no morning and no fading away. The tide whispered of power and legend as near that captive lady, the golden dragon dreamed in his marble tank; and just offshore, everything the dragon imagined appeared faintly in the mist above the sea. He never dreamed of a knight coming to rescue him. As long as he dreamt, it was twilight; but when he jumped nimbly out of his tank, night descended and starlight sparkled on his dripping, golden scales.
There he and his captive either defeated Time or never encountered him at all; while, in the world we know, raged Roncesvalles or battles yet to be—I know not to what part of the shore of Romance he bore her. Perhaps she became one of those princesses of whom fable loves to tell, but let it suffice that there she lived by the sea: and kings ruled, and Demons ruled, and kings came again, and many cities returned to their native dust, and still she abided there, and still her marble palace passed not away nor the power that there was in the dragon's spell.
There, he and his captive either conquered Time or never faced him at all; meanwhile, in the world we know, battles like Roncesvalles raged on or were yet to come—I have no idea where he took her along the shores of Romance. Maybe she became one of those princesses that legends love to talk about, but let's just say she lived by the sea: kings ruled, Demons had their power, kings returned, many cities turned to dust, and still she remained there, and still her marble palace didn't fade away nor did the magic from the dragon's spell.
And only once did there ever come to her a message from the world that of old she knew. It came in a pearly ship across the mystical sea; it was from an old school-friend that she had had in Putney, merely a note, no more, in a little, neat, round hand: it said, "It is not Proper for you to be there alone."
And only once did she receive a message from the world she once knew. It arrived in a pearly ship across the mystical sea; it was from an old school friend she had in Putney, just a note, nothing more, written in a neat, round handwriting: it said, "It’s not proper for you to be there alone."
THE QUEST OF THE QUEEN'S TEARS
Sylvia, Queen of the Woods, in her woodland palace, held court, and made a mockery of her suitors. She would sing to them, she said, she would give them banquets, she would tell them tales of legendary days, her jugglers should caper before them, her armies salute them, her fools crack jests with them and make whimsical quips, only she could not love them.
Sylvia, Queen of the Woods, in her forest palace, held court and mocked her suitors. She would sing to them, she said, she would host banquets, she would tell them stories of legendary times, her jugglers would dance for them, her armies would salute them, her fools would tell jokes with them and make playful quips, only she could not love them.
This was not the way, they said, to treat princes in their splendour and mysterious troubadours concealing kingly names; it was not in accordance with fable; myth had no precedent for it. She should have thrown her glove, they said, into some lion's den, she should have asked for a score of venomous heads of the serpents of Licantara, or demanded the death of any notable dragon, or sent them all upon some deadly quest, but that she could not love them—! It was unheard of—it had no parallel in the annals of romance.
This was not how you treated princes in their glory and mysterious troubadours with hidden royal identities; it didn’t fit the story; no myth had ever seen it. She should have thrown her glove into a lion’s den, asked for a dozen venomous heads from the serpents of Licantara, demanded the death of some famous dragon, or sent them all on some dangerous quest, but the fact that she couldn’t love them—! That was unimaginable—it had no equivalent in the history of romance.
And then she said that if they must needs have a quest she would offer her hand to him who first should move her to tears: and the quest should be called, for reference in histories or song, the Quest of the Queen's Tears, and he that achieved them she would wed, be he only a petty duke of lands unknown to romance.
And then she said that if they really needed a quest, she would offer her hand to the one who could make her cry first: and the quest would be called, for reference in stories or songs, the Quest of the Queen's Tears, and whoever succeeded would marry her, even if he was just a minor duke from an unknown place.
And many were moved to anger, for they hoped for some bloody quest; but the old lords chamberlain said, as they muttered among themselves in a far, dark end of the chamber, that the quest was hard and wise, for that if she could ever weep she might also love. They had known her all her childhood; she had never sighed. Many men had she seen, suitors and courtiers, and had never turned her head after one went by. Her beauty was as still sunsets of bitter evenings when all the world is frore, a wonder and a chill. She was as a sun-stricken mountain uplifted alone, all beautiful with ice, a desolate and lonely radiance late at evening far up beyond the comfortable world, not quite to be companioned by the stars, the doom of the mountaineer.
And many were angry, because they were hoping for some bloody quest; but the old lord's chamberlain said, as they whispered among themselves in a dark corner of the room, that the quest was tough and wise, because if she could ever cry, she might also love. They had known her since childhood; she had never sighed. Many men had come to see her, suitors and courtiers, and she had never glanced back at any of them. Her beauty was like the still sunsets of bitter evenings when everything is frozen, a marvel and a chill. She was like a sunlit mountain standing alone, all beautiful with ice, a desolate and lonely radiance far above the comfortable world, not quite able to be accompanied by the stars, the fate of the mountaineer.
If she could weep, they said, she could love, they said.
If she could cry, they said, she could love, they said.
And she smiled pleasantly on those ardent princes, and troubadours concealing kingly names.
And she smiled sweetly at those passionate princes and troubadours hiding royal identities.
Then one by one they told, each suitor prince the story of his love, with outstretched hands and kneeling on the knee; and very sorry and pitiful were the tales, so that often up in the galleries some maid of the palace wept. And very graciously she nodded her head like a listless magnolia in the deeps of the night moving idly to all the breezes its glorious bloom.
Then one by one, each prince told the story of his love, with outstretched hands and kneeling down. The tales were very sad and touching, causing many ladies in the galleries to weep. She graciously nodded her head like a tired magnolia swaying lightly in the night, responding to all the gentle breezes around her beautiful blooms.
And when the princes had told their desperate loves and had departed away with no other spoil than of their own tears only, even then there came the unknown troubadours and told their tales in song, concealing their gracious names.
And when the princes had shared their hopeless loves and left with nothing but their own tears, unknown troubadours arrived and sang their stories, hiding their kind names.
And there was one, Ackronnion, clothed with rags, on which was the dust of roads, and underneath the rags was war-scarred armour whereon were the dints of blows; and when he stroked his harp and sang his song, in the gallery above maidens wept, and even old lords chamberlain whimpered among themselves and thereafter laughed through their tears and said: "It is easy to make old people weep and to bring idle tears from lazy girls; but he will not set a-weeping the Queen of the Woods."
And there was one, Ackronnion, dressed in rags covered in road dust, and underneath the rags was war-torn armor marked with dents from blows. When he played his harp and sang his song, maidens above wept, and even old lords chamberlain murmured to each other, then laughed through their tears, saying: "It's easy to make the old cry and to bring lazy tears from idle girls; but he won't get the Queen of the Woods to weep."
And graciously she nodded, and he was the last. And disconsolate went away those dukes and princes, and troubadours in disguise. Yet Ackronnion pondered as he went away.
And she nodded graciously, and he was the last. The dukes and princes, along with the troubadours in disguise, left feeling dejected. But Ackronnion thought as he departed.
King he was of Afarmah, Lool and Haf, over-lord of Zeroora and hilly Chang, and duke of the dukedoms of Molong and Mlash, none of them unfamiliar with romance or unknown or overlooked in the making of myth. He pondered as he went in his thin disguise.
King of Afarmah, Lool, and Haf, overlord of Zeroora and the hilly Chang, and duke of the duchies of Molong and Mlash, all renowned in romance and well-known in the creation of myths. He contemplated as he traveled in his light disguise.
Now by those that do not remember their childhood, having other things to do, be it understood that underneath fairyland, which is, as all men know, at the edge of the world, there dwelleth the Gladsome Beast. A synonym he for joy.
Now, for those who don't remember their childhood because they have other things to focus on, it should be understood that beneath fairyland, which, as everyone knows, is at the edge of the world, lives the Gladsome Beast. He is a synonym for joy.
It is known how the lark in its zenith, children at play out-of-doors, good witches and jolly old parents have all been compared—how aptly!—with this very same Gladsome Beast. Only one "crab" he has (if I may use slang for a moment to make myself perfectly clear), only one drawback, and that is that in the gladness of his heart he spoils the cabbages of the Old Man Who Looks After Fairyland,—and of course he eats men.
It’s well-known how the lark at its peak, kids playing outside, pleasant witches, and cheerful old parents have all been compared—so fittingly!—to this same Joyful Creature. He has just one “issue” (if I can use slang for a moment to be clear), just one flaw, and that is that in his happiness, he ruins the cabbages of the Old Man Who Looks After Fairyland—and, of course, he eats people.
It must further be understood that whoever may obtain the tears of the Gladsome Beast in a bowl, and become drunken upon them, may move all persons to shed tears of joy so long as he remains inspired by the potion to sing or to make music.
It should also be understood that anyone who gets the tears of the Gladsome Beast in a bowl and becomes drunk on them can make everyone else cry tears of joy as long as they stay inspired by the potion to sing or make music.
Now Ackronnion pondered in this wise: that if he could obtain the tears of the Gladsome Beast by means of his art, withholding him from violence by the spell of music, and if a friend should slay the Gladsome Beast before his weeping ceased—for an end must come to weeping even with men—that so he might get safe away with the tears, and drink them before the Queen of the Woods and move her to tears of joy. He sought out therefore a humble knightly man who cared not for the beauty of Sylvia, Queen of the Woods, but had found a woodland maiden of his own once long ago in summer. And the man's name was Arrath, a subject of Ackronnion, a knight-at-arms of the spear-guard: and together they set out through the fields of fable until they came to Fairyland, a kingdom sunning itself (as all men know) for leagues along the edges of the world. And by a strange old pathway they came to the land they sought, through a wind blowing up the pathway sheer from space with a kind of metallic taste from the roving stars. Even so they came to the windy house of thatch where dwells the Old Man Who Looks After Fairyland sitting by parlour windows that look away from the world. He made them welcome in his star-ward parlour, telling them tales of Space, and when they named to him their perilous quest he said it would be a charity to kill the Gladsome Beast; for he was clearly one of those that liked not its happy ways. And then he took them out through his back door, for the front door had no pathway nor even a step—from it the old man used to empty his slops sheer on to the Southern Cross—and so they came to the garden wherein his cabbages were, and those flowers that only blow in Fairyland, turning their faces always towards the comet, and he pointed them out the way to the place he called Underneath, where the Gladsome Beast had his lair. Then they manoeuvred. Ackronnion was to go by the way of the steps with his harp and an agate bowl, while Arrath went round by a crag on the other side. Then the Old Man Who Looks After Fairyland went back to his windy house, muttering angrily as he passed his cabbages, for he did not love the ways of the Gladsome Beast; and the two friends parted on their separate ways.
Now Ackronnion thought this way: if he could get the tears of the Gladsome Beast using his art, keeping it from violence with the spell of music, and if a friend could kill the Gladsome Beast before its weeping stopped—for everyone eventually stops crying, even people—then he could get away safely with the tears, drink them before the Queen of the Woods, and make her weep tears of joy. So, he sought out a humble knight who wasn’t interested in the beauty of Sylvia, Queen of the Woods, but had once found a woodland maiden of his own during a summer long ago. The man’s name was Arrath, a subject of Ackronnion, a knight in the spear-guard: together they set out through the fields of fable until they reached Fairyland, a kingdom basking in sunshine (as everyone knows) for miles along the edges of the world. They traveled down a strange old path, with a wind blowing up the path directly from the cosmos, carrying a metallic taste from the wandering stars. They arrived at the windy thatched house where the Old Man Who Looks After Fairyland lived, sitting by windows that looked away from the world. He welcomed them into his starlit parlor, sharing tales of Space, and when they told him about their dangerous quest, he remarked that it would be a kindness to kill the Gladsome Beast; he clearly did not appreciate its cheerful ways. He then led them out through his back door, since the front door had no path or even a step—he used to dump his waste right out there onto the Southern Cross—and they entered the garden where his cabbages grew and the flowers that only bloom in Fairyland, always facing the comet. He pointed out the way to a place he called Underneath, where the Gladsome Beast had its lair. Then they planned their approach. Ackronnion would go through the steps with his harp and an agate bowl, while Arrath would go around via a crag on the other side. The Old Man Who Looks After Fairyland returned to his windy house, muttering angrily as he passed his cabbages, for he disliked the ways of the Gladsome Beast; and the two friends went off on their separate paths.
Nothing perceived them but that ominous crow glutted overlong already upon the flesh of man.
Nothing noticed them except that ominous crow, already overindulging on the flesh of man.
The wind blew bleak from the stars.
The wind blew cold from the stars.
At first there was dangerous climbing, and then Ackronnion gained the smooth, broad steps that led from the edge to the lair, and at that moment heard at the top of the steps the continuous chuckles of the Gladsome Beast.
At first, there was risky climbing, and then Ackronnion reached the smooth, wide steps that led from the edge to the lair. At that moment, he heard the ongoing chuckles of the Gladsome Beast at the top of the steps.
He feared then that its mirth might be insuperable, not to be saddened by the most grievous song; nevertheless he did not turn back then, but softly climbed the stairs and, placing the agate bowl upon a step, struck up the chaunt called Dolorous. It told of desolate, regretted things befallen happy cities long since in the prime of the world. It told of how the gods and beasts and men had long ago loved beautiful companions, and long ago in vain. It told of the golden host of happy hopes, but not of their achieving. It told how Love scorned Death, but told of Death's laughter. The contented chuckles of the Gladsome Beast suddenly ceased in his lair. He rose and shook himself. He was still unhappy. Ackronnion still sang on the chaunt called Dolorous. The Gladsome Beast came mournfully up to him. Ackronnion ceased not for the sake of his panic, but still sang on. He sang of the malignity of time. Two tears welled large in the eyes of the Gladsome Beast. Ackronnion moved the agate bowl to a suitable spot with his foot. He sang of autumn and of passing away. Then the beast wept as the frore hills weep in the thaw, and the tears splashed big into the agate bowl. Ackronnion desperately chaunted on; he told of the glad unnoticed things men see and do not see again, of sunlight beheld unheeded on faces now withered away. The bowl was full. Ackronnion was desperate: the Beast was so close. Once he thought that its mouth was watering!—but it was only the tears that had run on the lips of the Beast. He felt as a morsel! The Beast was ceasing to weep! He sang of worlds that had disappointed the gods. And all of a sudden, crash! and the staunch spear of Arrath went home behind the shoulder, and the tears and the joyful ways of the Gladsome Beast were ended and over for ever.
He then feared that its laughter might be unstoppable, not even dampened by the saddest song; still, he didn’t turn back but quietly climbed the stairs and, placing the agate bowl on a step, began to sing the chant called Dolorous. It was about the lonely, regrettable things that had happened to happy cities long ago, when the world was at its peak. It spoke of how the gods, beasts, and men had once loved beautiful companions, but their love was in vain. It told of the golden host of bright hopes that never came to pass. It said how Love dismissed Death, yet also mentioned Death's laughter. The contented chuckles of the Gladsome Beast abruptly stopped in its lair. It got up and shook itself. It was still unhappy. Ackronnion continued singing the chant called Dolorous. The Gladsome Beast sadly approached him. Ackronnion didn’t stop despite his panic and kept singing. He sang of the cruelty of time. Two large tears welled up in the eyes of the Gladsome Beast. Ackronnion kicked the agate bowl into a better spot. He sang of autumn and of things passing away. Then the beast cried, like the cold hills weeping in the thaw, and the tears splashed heavily into the agate bowl. Ackronnion sang desperately; he spoke of the joyful unnoticed things people see and never see again, of sunlight shining on faces that have now withered. The bowl filled up. Ackronnion was desperate: the Beast was so close. For a moment, he thought its mouth was watering!—but it was just the tears that had run onto the Beast’s lips. He felt like a snack! The Beast was stopping its tears! He sang of worlds that had let down the gods. Then suddenly, crash! and the sturdy spear of Arrath struck home behind the shoulder, bringing the tears and joyful existence of the Gladsome Beast to an end forever.
And carefully they carried the bowl of tears away, leaving the body of the Gladsome Beast as a change of diet for the ominous crow; and going by the windy house of thatch they said farewell to the Old Man Who Looks After Fairyland, who when he heard of the deed rubbed his hands together and mumbled again and again, "And a very good thing, too. My cabbages! My cabbages!"
And they carefully took the bowl of tears away, leaving the body of the Gladsome Beast as a meal for the creepy crow; and passing by the thatched house, they said goodbye to the Old Man Who Looks After Fairyland, who, upon hearing what they did, rubbed his hands together and kept mumbling, "And that's a great thing, too. My cabbages! My cabbages!"
And not long after Ackronnion sang again in the sylvan palace of the Queen of the Woods, having first drunk all the tears in his agate bowl. And it was a gala night, and all the court were there and ambassadors from the lands of legend and myth, and even some from Terra Cognita.
And shortly after, Ackronnion sang again in the forest palace of the Queen of the Woods, having first drunk all the tears in his agate bowl. It was a festive night, and everyone from the court was there, along with ambassadors from the realms of legend and myth, and even some from Terra Cognita.
And Ackronnion sang as he never sang before, and will not sing again. O, but dolorous, dolorous, are all the ways of man, few and fierce are his days, and the end trouble, and vain, vain his endeavour: and woman—who shall tell of it?—her doom is written with man's by listless, careless gods with their faces to other spheres.
And Ackronnion sang like he never had before, and will never sing again. Oh, but all of man's ways are so sorrowful, so sorrowful; his days are few and intense, and the end is troubling, and his efforts are pointless, pointless; and woman—who can even describe it?—her fate is inscribed alongside man's by indifferent, careless gods who are turned away to other realms.
Somewhat thus he began, and then inspiration seized him, and all the trouble in the beauty of his song may not be set down by me: there was much of gladness in it, and all mingled with grief: it was like the way of man: it was like our destiny.
Somewhat like this he started, and then inspiration took hold of him, and all the complexity in the beauty of his song can't be described by me: there was a lot of joy in it, mixed with sorrow: it was like the human experience: it was like our fate.
Sobs arose at his song, sighs came back along echoes: seneschals, soldiers, sobbed, and a clear cry made the maidens; like rain the tears came down from gallery to gallery.
Sobs erupted at his song, sighs returned in echoes: stewards, soldiers, cried, and a clear call made the maidens; like rain, tears flowed down from gallery to gallery.
All round the Queen of the Woods was a storm of sobbing and sorrow.
All around the Queen of the Woods was a whirlwind of crying and sadness.
But no, she would not weep.
But no, she wouldn't weep.
THE HOARD OF THE GIBBELINS
The Gibbelins eat, as is well known, nothing less good than man. Their evil tower is joined to Terra Cognita, to the lands we know, by a bridge. Their hoard is beyond reason; avarice has no use for it; they have a separate cellar for emeralds and a separate cellar for sapphires; they have filled a hole with gold and dig it up when they need it. And the only use that is known for their ridiculous wealth is to attract to their larder a continual supply of food. In times of famine they have even been known to scatter rubies abroad, a little trail of them to some city of Man, and sure enough their larders would soon be full again.
The Gibbelins are famously known for eating nothing but humans. Their evil tower connects to Terra Cognita, the lands we are familiar with, via a bridge. Their treasure is beyond comprehension; greed serves no purpose here; they have one cellar just for emeralds and another just for sapphires; they’ve filled a pit with gold and dig it up whenever they need it. The only known use for their ridiculous wealth is to lure a constant supply of food to their pantry. During times of famine, they’ve even been known to scatter rubies around, leaving a little trail to some human city, and sure enough, their pantry would be full again soon.
Their tower stands on the other side of that river known to Homer—ho rhoos okeanoio, as he called it—which surrounds the world. And where the river is narrow and fordable the tower was built by the Gibbelins' gluttonous sires, for they liked to see burglars rowing easily to their steps. Some nourishment that common soil has not the huge trees drained there with their colossal roots from both banks of the river.
Their tower stands on the other side of that river known to Homer—ho rhoos okeanoio, as he called it—which surrounds the world. And where the river is narrow and crossable, the tower was built by the Gibbelins' greedy ancestors, because they liked to watch burglars easily rowing up to their doorstep. Some resources that the ordinary soil has, the huge trees have drained away with their massive roots from both sides of the river.
There the Gibbelins lived and discreditably fed.
There the Gibbelins lived and unashamedly fed.
Alderic, Knight of the Order of the City and the Assault, hereditary Guardian of the King's Peace of Mind, a man not unremembered among makers of myth, pondered so long upon the Gibbelins' hoard that by now he deemed it his. Alas that I should say of so perilous a venture, undertaken at dead of night by a valorous man, that its motive was sheer avarice! Yet upon avarice only the Gibbelins relied to keep their larders full, and once in every hundred years sent spies into the cities of men to see how avarice did, and always the spies returned again to the tower saying that all was well.
Alderic, Knight of the Order of the City and the Assault, hereditary Guardian of the King's Peace of Mind, a man remembered among creators of legends, thought so long about the Gibbelins' treasure that he now considered it his own. Alas, that I should say of such a dangerous undertaking, carried out under the cover of night by a brave man, that its motive was simple greed! Yet it was greed alone that the Gibbelins depended on to keep their pantries stocked, and once every hundred years, they sent spies into human cities to check on how greed was doing, and always the spies returned to the tower saying that everything was fine.
It may be thought that, as the years went on and men came by fearful ends on that tower's wall, fewer and fewer would come to the Gibbelins' table: but the Gibbelins found otherwise.
It might be assumed that, as the years passed and people met tragic ends on that tower's wall, fewer and fewer would come to the Gibbelins' table: but the Gibbelins discovered otherwise.
Not in the folly and frivolity of his youth did Alderic come to the tower, but he studied carefully for several years the manner in which burglars met their doom when they went in search of the treasure that he considered his. In every case they had entered by the door.
Not in the foolishness and silliness of his youth did Alderic approach the tower, but he diligently observed for several years how burglars faced their downfall when they sought the treasure he believed was his. In every instance, they had entered through the door.
He consulted those who gave advice on this quest; he noted every detail and cheerfully paid their fees, and determined to do nothing that they advised, for what were their clients now? No more than examples of the savoury art, and mere half-forgotten memories of a meal; and many, perhaps, no longer even that.
He talked to those who offered advice on this quest; he noted every detail and happily paid their fees, and decided to ignore all their suggestions, because what were their clients now? Just examples of a tasty craft, and barely remembered echoes of a meal; and many, perhaps, no longer even that.
These were the requisites for the quest that these men used to advise: a horse, a boat, mail armour, and at least three men-at-arms. Some said, "Blow the horn at the tower door"; others said, "Do not touch it."
These were the requirements for the quest that these men used to suggest: a horse, a boat, armor, and at least three soldiers. Some said, "Blow the horn at the tower door"; others said, "Don't touch it."
Alderic thus decided: he would take no horse down to the river's edge, he would not row along it in a boat, and he would go alone and by way of the Forest Unpassable.
Alderic made his decision: he wouldn't take a horse to the river's edge, he wouldn't row along it in a boat, and he would go alone, through the Unpassable Forest.
How pass, you may say, the unpassable? This was his plan: there was a dragon he knew of who if peasants' prayers are heeded deserved to die, not alone because of the number of maidens he cruelly slew, but because he was bad for the crops; he ravaged the very land and was the bane of a dukedom.
How can you get past the impossible? This was his plan: there was a dragon he knew of who, if the villagers' prayers were answered, deserved to die. Not only because he cruelly killed so many maidens, but because he was terrible for the crops; he devastated the land and was a disaster for the dukedom.
Now Alderic determined to go up against him. So he took horse and spear and pricked till he met the dragon, and the dragon came out against him breathing bitter smoke. And to him Alderic shouted, "Hath foul dragon ever slain true knight?" And well the dragon knew that this had never been, and he hung his head and was silent, for he was glutted with blood. "Then," said the knight, "if thou would'st ever taste maiden's blood again thou shalt be my trusty steed, and if not, by this spear there shall befall thee all that the troubadours tell of the dooms of thy breed."
Now Alderic decided to confront him. So he mounted his horse, took his spear, and rode until he encountered the dragon, which emerged breathing noxious smoke. Alderic shouted to him, "Has a vile dragon ever killed a true knight?" The dragon knew very well that this had never happened, so he lowered his head and remained silent, as he was full of blood. "Then," said the knight, "if you ever want to taste a maiden's blood again, you will be my loyal steed, and if not, by this spear, you will face all the fates that the bards sing about concerning your kind."
And the dragon did not open his ravening mouth, nor rush upon the knight, breathing out fire; for well he knew the fate of those that did these things, but he consented to the terms imposed, and swore to the knight to become his trusty steed.
And the dragon didn't open his fierce mouth or charge at the knight, breathing fire; he knew what happened to those who did that. Instead, he agreed to the terms set, and swore to the knight that he would be his loyal steed.
It was on a saddle upon this dragon's back that Alderic afterwards sailed above the unpassable forest, even above the tops of those measureless trees, children of wonder. But first he pondered that subtle plan of his which was more profound than merely to avoid all that had been done before; and he commanded a blacksmith, and the blacksmith made him a pickaxe.
It was on a saddle on this dragon's back that Alderic later soared over the impenetrable forest, even above the tops of those incredible trees, wonders in their own right. But first, he thought deeply about his clever plan, which was more significant than just avoiding everything that had been done before; and he ordered a blacksmith to make him a pickaxe.
Now there was great rejoicing at the rumour of Alderic's quest, for all folk knew that he was a cautious man, and they deemed that he would succeed and enrich the world, and they rubbed their hands in the cities at the thought of largesse; and there was joy among all men in Alderic's country, except perchance among the lenders of money, who feared they would soon be paid. And there was rejoicing also because men hoped that when the Gibbelins were robbed of their hoard, they would shatter their high-built bridge and break the golden chains that bound them to the world, and drift back, they and their tower, to the moon, from which they had come and to which they rightly belonged. There was little love for the Gibbelins, though all men envied their hoard.
Now there was a lot of excitement about Alderic's quest because everyone knew he was careful, and they believed he would succeed and bring wealth to the world. People in the cities rubbed their hands together at the thought of generosity; there was joy among all the people in Alderic's country, except perhaps among the moneylenders, who worried they might soon get paid back. There was also celebration because people hoped that when the Gibbelins lost their treasure, they would destroy their towering bridge and break the golden chains that held them to the world, allowing them and their tower to drift back to the moon, where they had come from and where they truly belonged. Few people had affection for the Gibbelins, even though everyone envied their treasure.
So they all cheered, that day when he mounted his dragon, as though he was already a conqueror, and what pleased them more than the good that they hoped he would do to the world was that he scattered gold as he rode away; for he would not need it, he said, if he found the Gibbelins' hoard, and he would not need it more if he smoked on the Gibbelins' table.
So everyone cheered that day when he got on his dragon, as if he was already a hero, and what made them happier than the good they hoped he would bring to the world was that he tossed out gold as he rode off; because he said he wouldn’t need it if he found the Gibbelins' treasure, and he wouldn’t need it even more if he feasted at the Gibbelins' table.
When they heard that he had rejected the advice of those that gave it, some said that the knight was mad, and others said he was greater than those what gave the advice, but none appreciated the worth of his plan.
When they heard that he had turned down the advice of those who offered it, some said the knight was crazy, and others claimed he was better than the ones who gave the advice, but no one recognized the value of his plan.
He reasoned thus: for centuries men had been well advised and had gone by the cleverest way, while the Gibbelins came to expect them to come by boat and to look for them at the door whenever their larder was empty, even as a man looketh for a snipe in a marsh; but how, said Alderic, if a snipe should sit in the top of a tree, and would men find him there? Assuredly never! So Alderic decided to swim the river and not to go by the door, but to pick his way into the tower through the stone. Moreover, it was in his mind to work below the level of the ocean, the river (as Homer knew) that girdles the world, so that as soon as he made a hole in the wall the water should pour in, confounding the Gibbelins, and flooding the cellars, rumoured to be twenty feet in depth, and therein he would dive for emeralds as a diver dives for pearls.
He thought this way: for centuries, people had been smart and took the best route, while the Gibbelins expected them to arrive by boat and look for them at the door whenever their supplies ran low, just like someone looks for a snipe in a marsh. But how, Alderic wondered, if a snipe were sitting at the top of a tree, would anyone find it there? Definitely not! So, Alderic decided to swim across the river and skip the front door, planning to make his way into the tower through the stone. Additionally, he intended to dig below sea level, the river (as Homer knew) that encircles the world, so that as soon as he broke a hole in the wall, water would rush in, surprising the Gibbelins and flooding the rumored twenty-foot-deep cellars. There, he would dive for emeralds just like a diver searches for pearls.
And on the day that I tell of he galloped away from his home scattering largesse of gold, as I have said, and passed through many kingdoms, the dragon snapping at maidens as he went, but being unable to eat them because of the bit in his mouth, and earning no gentler reward than a spurthrust where he was softest. And so they came to the swart arboreal precipice of the unpassable forest. The dragon rose at it with a rattle of wings. Many a farmer near the edge of the world saw him up there where yet the twilight lingered, a faint, black, wavering line; and mistaking him for a row of geese going inland from the ocean, went into their houses cheerily rubbing their hands and saying that winter was coming, and that we should soon have snow. Soon even there the twilight faded away, and when they descended at the edge of the world it was night and the moon was shining. Ocean, the ancient river, narrow and shallow there, flowed by and made no murmur. Whether the Gibbelins banqueted or whether they watched by the door, they also made no murmur. And Alderic dismounted and took his armour off, and saying one prayer to his lady, swam with his pickaxe. He did not part from his sword, for fear that he meet with a Gibbelin. Landed the other side, he began to work at once, and all went well with him. Nothing put out its head from any window, and all were lighted so that nothing within could see him in the dark. The blows of his pickaxe were dulled in the deep walls. All night he worked, no sound came to molest him, and at dawn the last rock swerved and tumbled inwards, and the river poured in after. Then Alderic took a stone, and went to the bottom step, and hurled the stone at the door; he heard the echoes roll into the tower, then he ran back and dived through the hole in the wall.
And on the day I'm talking about, he rode away from his home, scattering gold as I mentioned before, and passed through many kingdoms, with the dragon snapping at maidens as it went, but unable to eat them because of the bit in its mouth, and receiving no gentler reward than a jab from a spur where it was softest. They soon reached the dark, towering edge of the impassable forest. The dragon took flight with a flutter of wings. Many farmers near the edge of the world saw him up there, where twilight still lingered, a faint, black, wavering line; mistaking him for a flock of geese heading inland from the ocean, they happily went into their homes, rubbing their hands and saying winter was coming and that soon we would have snow. Soon even there, the twilight faded away, and when they reached the edge of the world, it was night and the moon was shining. The ocean, the ancient river, narrow and shallow at that point, flowed by and made no sound. Whether the Gibbelins were feasting or keeping watch by the door, they made no sound either. Alderic got off his horse and took off his armor, and after saying a prayer to his lady, swam with his pickaxe. He didn't part with his sword, fearing he might encounter a Gibbelin. Once he landed on the other side, he immediately started working, and everything went well for him. Nothing looked out from any window, and all the lights were off, so nothing inside could see him in the dark. The blows of his pickaxe were muted in the thick walls. He worked all night, with no sound disturbing him, and at dawn, the last rock shifted and tumbled inward, letting the river pour in afterward. Then Alderic picked up a stone, went to the bottom step, and threw the stone at the door; he heard the echoes roll into the tower, then he ran back and dove through the hole in the wall.
He was in the emerald-cellar. There was no light in the lofty vault above him, but, diving through twenty feet of water, he felt the floor all rough with emeralds, and open coffers full of them. By a faint ray of the moon he saw that the water was green with them, and, easily filling a satchel, he rose again to the surface; and there were the Gibbelins waist-deep in the water, with torches in their hands! And, without saying a word, or even smiling, they neatly hanged him on the outer wall—and the tale is one of those that have not a happy ending.
He was in the emerald cellar. There was no light in the high vault above him, but, swimming through twenty feet of water, he felt the floor all rough with emeralds and open chests full of them. By a faint moonbeam, he saw that the water was green with them, and, easily filling a bag, he rose up to the surface; and there were the Gibbelins standing waist-deep in the water, holding torches! And, without saying a word, or even smiling, they quickly hanged him on the outer wall—and the story is one of those that don’t have a happy ending.
HOW NUTH WOULD HAVE PRACTISED HIS ART UPON THE GNOLES
Despite the advertisements of rival firms, it is probable that every tradesman knows that nobody in business at the present time has a position equal to that of Mr. Nuth. To those outside the magic circle of business, his name is scarcely known; he does not need to advertise, he is consummate. He is superior even to modern competition, and, whatever claims they boast, his rivals know it. His terms are moderate, so much cash down when the goods are delivered, so much in blackmail afterwards. He consults your convenience. His skill may be counted upon; I have seen a shadow on a windy night move more noisily than Nuth, for Nuth is a burglar by trade. Men have been known to stay in country houses and to send a dealer afterwards to bargain for a piece of tapestry that they saw there—some article of furniture, some picture. This is bad taste: but those whose culture is more elegant invariably send Nuth a night or two after their visit. He has a way with tapestry; you would scarcely notice that the edges had been cut. And often when I see some huge, new house full of old furniture and portraits from other ages, I say to myself, "These mouldering chairs, these full-length ancestors and carved mahogany are the produce of the incomparable Nuth."
Despite the ads from competitors, it's likely that every tradesperson knows that no one in business today matches Mr. Nuth's position. To those outside the business world, his name is hardly recognized; he doesn’t need to advertise—he is exceptional. He surpasses even modern competition, and whatever claims his rivals make, they know it too. His pricing is reasonable, expecting some cash up front when the goods are delivered, with a little extra later. He respects your convenience. You can rely on his expertise; I’ve seen a shadow move more noisily on a windy night than Nuth because he works as a burglar. There are people who stay in country homes and then send a dealer afterward to negotiate for a piece of tapestry or some furniture or a painting they spotted there. This is in poor taste, but those with more refined tastes often send Nuth a day or two after their visit. He has a talent for tapeztry; you’d hardly notice that the edges were cut. And often, when I see a massive new house filled with old furniture and portraits from different eras, I tell myself, "These worn chairs, these imposing ancestors, and carved mahogany are the work of the incomparable Nuth."
It may be urged against my use of the word incomparable that in the burglary business the name of Slith stands paramount and alone; and of this I am not ignorant; but Slith is a classic, and lived long ago, and knew nothing at all of modern competition; besides which the surprising nature of his doom has possibly cast a glamour upon Slith that exaggerates in our eyes his undoubted merits.
It might be argued against my use of the word "incomparable" that in the burglary world, the name Slith stands out as the best and most recognized; and I'm aware of this. However, Slith is a figure from the past and lived a long time ago, without any understanding of modern competition. Moreover, the shocking nature of his fate may have created an allure around Slith that makes his real talents seem even greater in our eyes.
It must not be thought that I am a friend of Nuth's; on the contrary such politics as I have are on the side of Property; and he needs no words from me, for his position is almost unique in trade, being among the very few that do not need to advertise.
It shouldn't be assumed that I'm a friend of Nuth's; quite the opposite. My political views lean toward Property, and he doesn't need me to speak on his behalf since his position in the business world is quite rare—he's one of the few who doesn't need to advertise.
At the time that my story begins Nuth lived in a roomy house in Belgrave Square: in his inimitable way he had made friends with the caretaker. The place suited Nuth, and, whenever anyone came to inspect it before purchase, the caretaker used to praise the house in the words that Nuth had suggested. "If it wasn't for the drains," she would say, "it's the finest house in London," and when they pounced on this remark and asked questions about the drains, she would answer them that the drains also were good, but not so good as the house. They did not see Nuth when they went over the rooms, but Nuth was there.
At the time my story starts, Nuth lived in a spacious house in Belgrave Square. In his unique way, he had become friends with the caretaker. The house fit Nuth perfectly, and whenever someone came to check it out before buying, the caretaker would praise the house using words Nuth had suggested. "If it weren't for the drains," she would say, "it's the best house in London," and when they jumped on that comment and asked about the drains, she would tell them that the drains were also fine, but not as great as the house. They didn’t see Nuth while they toured the rooms, but Nuth was there.
Here in a neat black dress on one spring morning came an old woman whose bonnet was lined with red, asking for Mr. Nuth; and with her came her large and awkward son. Mrs. Eggins, the caretaker, glanced up the street, and then she let them in, and left them to wait in the drawing-room amongst furniture all mysterious with sheets. For a long while they waited, and then there was a smell of pipe-tobacco, and there was Nuth standing quite close to them.
Here on a tidy spring morning, an elderly woman in a simple black dress, wearing a red-lined bonnet, arrived asking for Mr. Nuth; beside her was her big, clumsy son. Mrs. Eggins, the caretaker, looked up the street, then let them in, leaving them to wait in the drawing-room among furniture covered in mysterious sheets. They waited for quite some time, and then they smelled pipe tobacco, and there was Nuth standing right by them.
"Lord," said the old woman whose bonnet was lined with red, "you did make me start." And then she saw by his eyes that that was not the way to speak to Mr. Nuth.
"Lord," said the old woman with the red-lined bonnet, "you really startled me." Then she noticed in his eyes that this was not how to talk to Mr. Nuth.
And at last Nuth spoke, and very nervously the old woman explained that her son was a likely lad, and had been in business already but wanted to better himself, and she wanted Mr. Nuth to teach him a livelihood.
And finally, Nuth spoke, and the old woman, feeling very nervous, explained that her son was a good young man who had already been in business but wanted to improve his situation. She wanted Mr. Nuth to teach him a trade.
First of all Nuth wanted to see a business reference, and when he was shown one from a jeweller with whom he happened to be hand-in-glove the upshot of it was that he agreed to take young Tonker (for this was the surname of the likely lad) and to make him his apprentice. And the old woman whose bonnet was lined with red went back to her little cottage in the country, and every evening said to her old man, "Tonker, we must fasten the shutters of a night-time, for Tommy's a burglar now."
First of all, Nuth wanted to see a business reference, and when he was shown one from a jeweler he was close with, the result was that he agreed to take on young Tonker (that was the lad’s last name) and make him his apprentice. The old woman, whose bonnet was lined with red, went back to her little cottage in the country, and every evening she said to her old man, "Tonker, we need to lock the shutters at night because Tommy's a burglar now."
The details of the likely lad's apprenticeship I do not propose to give; for those that are in the business know those details already, and those that are in other businesses care only for their own, while men of leisure who have no trade at all would fail to appreciate the gradual degrees by which Tommy Tonker came first to cross bare boards, covered with little obstacles in the dark, without making any sound, and then to go silently up creaky stairs, and then to open doors, and lastly to climb.
I won’t go into the details of the young guy’s apprenticeship; those in the field already know them, those in other professions are only interested in their own work, and people who don't have any job won’t appreciate how Tommy Tonker gradually learned to move silently across bare floors with small obstacles in the dark, then quietly up creaky stairs, then open doors, and finally to climb.
Let it suffice that the business prospered greatly, while glowing reports of Tommy Tonker's progress were sent from time to time to the old woman whose bonnet was lined with red in the labourious handwriting of Nuth. Nuth had given up lessons in writing very early, for he seemed to have some prejudice against forgery, and therefore considered writing a waste of time. And then there came the transaction with Lord Castlenorman at his Surrey residence. Nuth selected a Saturday night, for it chanced that Saturday was observed as Sabbath in the family of Lord Castlenorman, and by eleven o'clock the whole house was quiet. Five minutes before midnight Tommy Tonker, instructed by Mr. Nuth, who waited outside, came away with one pocketful of rings and shirt-studs. It was quite a light pocketful, but the jewellers in Paris could not match it without sending specially to Africa, so that Lord Castlenorman had to borrow bone shirt-studs.
Let’s just say the business did really well, and glowing updates about Tommy Tonker’s progress were sent every now and then to the old woman whose bonnet was lined with red in the messy handwriting of Nuth. Nuth had given up on writing lessons very early on because he had a bit of a bias against forgery, so he thought writing was a waste of time. Then came the deal with Lord Castlenorman at his house in Surrey. Nuth chose a Saturday night since Saturday was the Sabbath for Lord Castlenorman’s family, and by eleven o'clock, the whole house was quiet. Five minutes before midnight, Tommy Tonker, following Mr. Nuth’s instructions, who waited outside, came out with a pocketful of rings and shirt studs. It was a light pocketful, but the jewellers in Paris couldn’t find anything like it without specifically sourcing it from Africa, so Lord Castlenorman had to borrow bone shirt studs.
Not even rumour whispered the name of Nuth. Were I to say that this turned his head, there are those to whom the assertion would give pain, for his associates hold that his astute judgment was unaffected by circumstance. I will say, therefore, that it spurred his genius to plan what no burglar had ever planned before. It was nothing less than to burgle the house of the gnoles. And this that abstemious man unfolded to Tonker over a cup of tea. Had Tonker not been nearly insane with pride over their recent transaction, and had he not been blinded by a veneration for Nuth, he would have—but I cry over spilt milk. He expostulated respectfully; he said he would rather not go; he said it was not fair; he allowed himself to argue; and in the end, one windy October morning with a menace in the air found him and Nuth drawing near to the dreadful wood.
Not even a rumor mentioned Nuth's name. If I were to say that this affected him, some might find that hard to believe, as his friends insist that his sharp judgment was always steady, no matter the situation. So, I’ll just say that it inspired him to come up with a plan that no thief had ever thought of before. He intended to break into the house of the gnoles. This idea, shared over a cup of tea with Tonker, came from that disciplined man. If Tonker hadn’t been bursting with pride from their recent deal, and if he hadn’t been completely in awe of Nuth, he might have—but there’s no point in dwelling on that. He protested politely; he said he would prefer not to go; he said it wasn’t fair; he allowed himself to argue; and in the end, one blustery October morning with a tension in the air, he found himself and Nuth approaching the ominous woods.
Nuth, by weighing little emeralds against pieces of common rock, had ascertained the probable weight of those house-ornaments that the gnoles are believed to possess in the narrow, lofty house wherein they have dwelt from of old. They decided to steal two emeralds and to carry them between them on a cloak; but if they should be too heavy one must be dropped at once. Nuth warned young Tonker against greed, and explained that the emeralds were worth less than cheese until they were safe away from the dreadful wood.
Nuth, by comparing small emeralds to ordinary stones, figured out how much those house decorations the gnoles are believed to have in their tall, narrow home were likely to weigh. They decided to steal two emeralds and carry them on a cloak, but if they were too heavy, one would need to be dropped immediately. Nuth warned young Tonker about being greedy and explained that the emeralds were worth less than cheese until they were safely out of the frightening woods.
Everything had been planned, and they walked now in silence.
Everything had been planned, and they walked now in silence.
No track led up to the sinister gloom of the trees, either of men or cattle; not even a poacher had been there snaring elves for over a hundred years. You did not trespass twice in the dells of the gnoles. And, apart from the things that were done there, the trees themselves were a warning, and did not wear the wholesome look of those that we plant ourselves.
No path led into the dark gloom of the trees, whether from people or animals; not even a poacher had been there catching elves for more than a hundred years. You didn't go into the gnoles' dells more than once. Besides what happened there, the trees themselves were a warning and didn't have the healthy look of the ones we plant ourselves.
The nearest village was some miles away with the backs of all its houses turned to the wood, and without one window at all facing in that direction. They did not speak of it there, and elsewhere it is unheard of.
The nearest village was a few miles away, with all its houses facing away from the woods, and not a single window looking in that direction. They didn't talk about it there, and it's not mentioned anywhere else.
Into this wood stepped Nuth and Tommy Tonker. They had no firearms. Tonker had asked for a pistol, but Nuth replied that the sound of a shot "would bring everything down on us," and no more was said about it.
Into this woods walked Nuth and Tommy Tonker. They didn’t have any guns. Tonker had asked for a pistol, but Nuth responded that the sound of a shot "would alert everyone," and that was the end of the discussion.
Into the wood they went all day, deeper and deeper. They saw the skeleton of some early Georgian poacher nailed to a door in an oak tree; sometimes they saw a fairy scuttle away from them; once Tonker stepped heavily on a hard, dry stick, after which they both lay still for twenty minutes. And the sunset flared full of omens through the tree trunks, and night fell, and they came by fitful starlight, as Nuth had foreseen, to that lean, high house where the gnoles so secretly dwelt.
Into the woods they went all day, going deeper and deeper. They saw the skeleton of some old Georgian poacher nailed to a door in an oak tree; sometimes they caught sight of a fairy scampering away from them; once Tonker stepped heavily on a hard, dry stick, after which they both lay still for twenty minutes. The sunset glowed with omens through the tree trunks, and night fell, and they arrived by flickering starlight, just as Nuth had predicted, at that tall, thin house where the gnoles lived so secretly.
All was so silent by that unvalued house that the faded courage of Tonker flickered up, but to Nuth's experienced sense it seemed too silent; and all the while there was that look in the sky that was worse than a spoken doom, so that Nuth, as is often the case when men are in doubt, had leisure to fear the worst. Nevertheless he did not abandon the business, but sent the likely lad with the instruments of his trade by means of the ladder to the old green casement. And the moment that Tonker touched the withered boards, the silence that, though ominous, was earthly, became unearthly like the touch of a ghoul. And Tonker heard his breath offending against that silence, and his heart was like mad drums in a night attack, and a string of one of his sandals went tap on a rung of a ladder, and the leaves of the forest were mute, and the breeze of the night was still; and Tonker prayed that a mouse or a mole might make any noise at all, but not a creature stirred, even Nuth was still. And then and there, while yet he was undiscovered, the likely lad made up his mind, as he should have done long before, to leave those colossal emeralds where they were and have nothing further to do with the lean, high house of the gnoles, but to quit this sinister wood in the nick of time and retire from business at once and buy a place in the country. Then he descended softly and beckoned to Nuth. But the gnoles had watched him through knavish holes that they bore in trunks of the trees, and the unearthly silence gave way, as it were with a grace, to the rapid screams of Tonker as they picked him up from behind—screams that came faster and faster until they were incoherent. And where they took him it is not good to ask, and what they did with him I shall not say.
Everything was so quiet near that ignored house that Tonker's faded courage flickered back to life, but Nuth, with his experience, sensed that it was too quiet; meanwhile, the look in the sky felt worse than any spoken threat, making Nuth, as is often the case when people are unsure, take time to fear the worst. However, he didn’t back down from the task and sent the promising lad with his tools up the ladder to the old green window. The moment Tonker stepped onto the decayed boards, the ominous silence turned otherworldly, like the touch of a ghoul. Tonker heard his breath disturbing that silence, and his heart raced like frantic drums in the night, while one of his sandal straps tapped on a rung of the ladder. The forest was completely quiet, and the night breeze was still; Tonker wished for the slightest sound, even from a mouse or mole, but nothing moved—Nuth was silent too. Right then, while he was still unnoticed, the promising lad decided, as he should have earlier, to leave those giant emeralds where they were and have nothing more to do with the tall, lean house of the gnoles. He planned to escape this eerie wood just in time and retire from the game for good, maybe buy a place in the countryside. He quietly climbed down and signaled to Nuth. But the gnoles had been watching him through sneaky holes they made in the tree trunks, and the otherworldly silence gracefully gave way to the frantic screams of Tonker as they grabbed him from behind—screams that quickened until they were just a jumble of sounds. And where they took him is not something you want to know, and what they did with him, I won’t reveal.
Nuth looked on for a while from the corner of the house with a mild surprise on his face as he rubbed his chin, for the trick of the holes in the trees was new to him; then he stole nimbly away through the dreadful wood.
Nuth watched for a bit from the corner of the house, a mild surprise on his face as he rubbed his chin, since the trick of the holes in the trees was new to him; then he quickly slipped away through the eerie woods.
"And did they catch Nuth?" you ask me, gentle reader.
"And did they catch Nuth?" you ask me, dear reader.
"Oh, no, my child" (for such a question is childish). "Nobody ever catches Nuth."
"Oh, no, my child" (because that question is childish). "No one ever catches Nuth."
HOW ONE CAME, AS WAS FORETOLD, TO THE CITY OF NEVER
The child that played about the terraces and gardens in sight of the Surrey hills never knew that it was he that should come to the Ultimate City, never knew that he should see the Under Pits, the barbicans and the holy minarets of the mightiest city known. I think of him now as a child with a little red watering-can going about the gardens on a summer's day that lit the warm south country, his imagination delighted with all tales of quite little adventures, and all the while there was reserved for him that feat at which men wonder.
The child who played around the terraces and gardens with a view of the Surrey hills had no idea he would eventually reach the Ultimate City. He never imagined he would witness the Under Pits, the barbicans, and the holy minarets of the greatest city known. I picture him now as a child with a small red watering can, wandering through the gardens on a sunny summer day that warmed the southern countryside, his imagination filled with stories of small adventures, all while a remarkable destiny awaited him that would amaze everyone.
Looking in other directions, away from the Surrey hills, through all his infancy he saw that precipice that, wall above wall and mountain above mountain, stands at the edge of the World, and in perpetual twilight alone with the Moon and the Sun holds up the inconceivable City of Never. To tread its streets he was destined; prophecy knew it. He had the magic halter, and a worn old rope it was; an old wayfaring woman had given it to him: it had the power to hold any animal whose race had never known captivity, such as the unicorn, the hippogriff Pegasus, dragons and wyverns; but with a lion, giraffe, camel or horse it was useless.
Looking in other directions, away from the Surrey hills, throughout his childhood he saw that cliff that, layer upon layer of walls and mountains, stands at the edge of the World, and in constant twilight, alone with the Moon and the Sun, supports the unimaginable City of Never. He was destined to walk its streets; prophecy foretold it. He had the magical rope, and it was an old, worn-out piece; an elderly traveler had given it to him: it had the ability to hold any creature that had never experienced captivity, like the unicorn, the winged horse Pegasus, dragons, and wyverns; but with a lion, giraffe, camel, or horse, it was useless.
How often we have seen that City of Never, that marvel of the Nations! Not when it is night in the World, and we can see no further than the stars; not when the sun is shining where we dwell, dazzling our eyes; but when the sun has set on some stormy days, all at once repentant at evening, and those glittering cliffs reveal themselves which we almost take to be clouds, and it is twilight with us as it is for ever with them, then on their gleaming summits we see those golden domes that overpeer the edges of the World and seem to dance with dignity and calm in that gentle light of evening that is Wonder's native haunt. Then does the City of Never, unvisited and afar, look long at her sister the World.
How often we have seen that City of Never, that wonder of the Nations! Not when it’s night in the World and we can only see as far as the stars; not when the sun is shining where we are, dazzling our eyes; but when the sun has set on some stormy days, all at once feeling regretful in the evening, and those shining cliffs reveal themselves, which we almost mistake for clouds, and it is twilight for us just as it is always for them. Then on their gleaming peaks, we see those golden domes that rise above the edges of the World and seem to move gracefully and calmly in that soft evening light that is Wonder's natural home. Then does the City of Never, untouched and distant, gaze long at her sister, the World.
It had been prophecied that he should come there. They knew it when the pebbles were being made and before the isles of coral were given unto the sea. And thus the prophecy came unto fulfilment and passed into history, and so at length to Oblivion, out of which I drag it as it goes floating by, into which I shall one day tumble. The hippogriffs dance before dawn in the upper air; long before sunrise flashes upon our lawns they go to glitter in light that has not yet come to the World, and as the dawn works up from the ragged hills and the stars feel it they go slanting earthwards, till sunlight touches the tops of the tallest trees, and the hippogriffs alight with a rattle of quills and fold their wings and gallop and gambol away till they come to some prosperous, wealthy, detestable town, and they leap at once from the fields and soar away from the sight of it, pursued by the horrible smoke of it until they come again to the pure blue air.
It had been foretold that he would arrive there. They knew it while the pebbles were being formed and before the coral islands were created in the sea. And so the prophecy was fulfilled and became part of history, eventually fading into Oblivion, from which I pull it as it drifts by, into which I will one day fall. The hippogriffs dance before dawn in the sky; long before the sun shines on our lawns, they sparkle in light that hasn’t reached the world yet, and as dawn rises from the jagged hills and the stars sense it, they tilt downwards towards the earth, until sunlight touches the tops of the tallest trees, and the hippogriffs land with a rustle of quills and fold their wings, then gallop and play until they reach a prosperous, wealthy, and detestable town, and they immediately leap from the fields and soar out of sight, chased by its awful smoke until they return to the pure blue sky.
He whom prophecy had named from of old to come to the City of Never, went down one midnight with his magic halter to a lake-side where the hippogriffs alighted at dawn, for the turf was soft there and they could gallop far before they came to a town, and there he waited hidden near their hoofmarks. And the stars paled a little and grew indistinct; but there was no other sign as yet of the dawn, when there appeared far up in the deeps of the night two little saffron specks, then four and five: it was the hippogriffs dancing and twirling around in the sun. Another flock joined them, there were twelve of them now; they danced there, flashing their colours back to the sun, they descended in wide curves slowly; trees down on earth revealed against the sky, jet-black each delicate twig; a star disappeared from a cluster, now another; and dawn came on like music, like a new song. Ducks shot by to the lake from still dark fields of corn, far voices uttered, a colour grew upon water, and still the hippogriffs gloried in the light, revelling up in the sky; but when pigeons stirred on the branches and the first small bird was abroad, and little coots from the rushes ventured to peer about, then there came down on a sudden with a thunder of feathers the hippogriffs, and, as they landed from their celestial heights all bathed with the day's first sunlight, the man whose destiny it was as from of old to come to the City of Never, sprang up and caught the last with the magic halter. It plunged, but could not escape it, for the hippogriffs are of the uncaptured races, and magic has power over the magical, so the man mounted it, and it soared again for the heights whence it had come, as a wounded beast goes home. But when they came to the heights that venturous rider saw huge and fair to the left of him the destined City of Never, and he beheld the towers of Lel and Lek, Neerib and Akathooma, and the cliffs of Toldenarba a-glistening in the twilight like an alabaster statue of the Evening. Towards them he wrenched the halter, towards Toldenarba and the Under Pits; the wings of the hippogriff roared as the halter turned him. Of the Under Pits who shall tell? Their mystery is secret. It is held by some that they are the sources of night, and that darkness pours from them at evening upon the world; while others hint that knowledge of these might undo our civilization.
He who was prophesied long ago to arrive at the City of Never descended one midnight with his magic halter to a lakeshore where the hippogriffs landed at dawn, since the ground was soft there and they could run a long way before reaching a town, and he waited hidden near their hoof prints. The stars dimmed slightly and became less distinct; but there was no other sign of dawn yet, when two small saffron dots appeared far up in the depths of the night, then four and five: it was the hippogriffs dancing and twirling in the sun. Another group joined them, making it twelve; they danced there, reflecting their colors back to the sun, and descended in wide, slow curves; trees on the ground stood out against the sky, each delicate twig appearing jet-black; a star vanished from a cluster, then another; and dawn arrived like music, like a new song. Ducks flew towards the lake from still dark cornfields, distant voices sounded, color appeared on the water, and still the hippogriffs reveled in the light, soaring in the sky; but when pigeons fluttered on the branches and the first small bird was out, and little coots from the reeds dared to peek around, then down suddenly with a roar of feathers came the hippogriffs, and as they landed from their heavenly heights, all glittering with the day’s first sunlight, the man whose fate was to come to the City of Never sprang up and caught the last one with the magic halter. It struggled but couldn’t break free, for the hippogriffs are from the uncaptured races, and magic has power over the magical, so the man climbed on it, and it soared back up to the heights it had come from, like a wounded beast returning home. But when they reached the heights, that daring rider saw the destined City of Never, huge and beautiful to his left, and he beheld the towers of Lel and Lek, Neerib and Akathooma, and the cliffs of Toldenarba gleaming in the twilight like an alabaster statue of the Evening. He turned the halter towards them, towards Toldenarba and the Under Pits; the wings of the hippogriff roared as the halter guided him. Who can speak of the Under Pits? Their mystery is a secret. Some say they are the sources of night, and that darkness flows from them in the evening upon the world; while others suggest that knowing of them might unravel our civilization.
There watched him ceaselessly from the Under Pits those eyes whose duty it is; from further within and deeper, the bats that dwell there arose when they saw the surprise in the eyes; the sentinels on the bulwarks beheld that stream of bats and lifted up their spears as it were for war. Nevertheless when they perceived that that war for which they watched was not now come upon them, they lowered their spears and suffered him to enter, and he passed whirring through the earthward gateway. Even so he came, as foretold, to the City of Never perched upon Toldenarba, and saw late twilight on those pinnacles that know no other light. All the domes were of copper, but the spires on their summits were gold. Little steps of onyx ran all this way and that. With cobbled agates were its streets a glory. Through small square panes of rose-quartz the citizens looked from their houses. To them as they looked abroad the World far-off seemed happy. Clad though that city was in one robe always, in twilight, yet was its beauty worthy of even so lovely a wonder: city and twilight were both peerless but for each other. Built of a stone unknown in the world we tread were its bastions, quarried we know not where, but called by the gnomes abyx, it so flashed back to the twilight its glories, colour for colour, that none can say of them where their boundary is, and which the eternal twilight, and which the City of Never; they are the twin-born children, the fairest daughters of Wonder. Time had been there, but not to work destruction; he had turned to a fair, pale green the domes that were made of copper, the rest he had left untouched, even he, the destroyer of cities, by what bribe I know not averted. Nevertheless they often wept in Never for change and passing away, mourning catastrophes in other worlds, and they built temples sometimes to ruined stars that had fallen flaming down from the Milky Way, giving them worship still when by us long since forgotten. Other temples they have—who knows to what divinities?
There watched him nonstop from the Under Pits those eyes whose job it is; deeper inside, the bats that lived there took flight at the surprise in their gaze; the guards on the walls saw that stream of bats and raised their spears as if ready for battle. However, when they realized that the war they were waiting for had not yet arrived, they lowered their spears and allowed him to enter, and he zipped through the earthward gateway. Just as predicted, he arrived at the City of Never resting on Toldenarba and saw a late twilight on those peaks that know no other light. All the domes were made of copper, but the spires on top were gold. Small onyx steps crisscrossed all around. Its streets were gloriously paved with cobbled agates. Through small square panes of rose-quartz, the citizens peered from their homes. To them, as they gazed out, the distant World appeared joyful. Though that city was always dressed in a single robe of twilight, its beauty was worthy of such a lovely sight: city and twilight were both unmatched, rivals only to each other. Built from a stone unknown in the world we walk, its walls were hewn from an unknown quarry, called by the gnomes abyx, and they reflected the twilight's glories, color for color, so that no one could tell where one ended and the other began; they are the twin-born children, the fairest daughters of Wonder. Time had visited there, but not to bring destruction; he had turned the copper domes a fair, pale green, leaving the rest untouched, even he, the destroyer of cities, by some bribe I know not averted. Yet they often wept in Never for change and loss, mourning disasters in other worlds, and they sometimes built temples to ruined stars that had fallen blazing down from the Milky Way, still worshiping them long after we had forgotten. They have other temples—who knows to what gods?
And he that was destined alone of men to come to the City of Never was well content to behold it as he trotted down its agate street, with the wings of his hippogriff furled, seeing at either side of him marvel on marvel of which even China is ignorant. Then as he neared the city's further rampart by which no inhabitant stirred, and looked in a direction to which no houses faced with any rose-pink windows, he suddenly saw far-off, dwarfing the mountains, an even greater city. Whether that city was built upon the twilight or whether it rose from the coasts of some other world he did not know. He saw it dominate the City of Never, and strove to reach it; but at this unmeasured home of unknown colossi the hippogriff shied frantically, and neither the magic halter nor anything that he did could make the monster face it. At last, from the City of Never's lonely outskirts where no inhabitants walked, the rider turned slowly earthward. He knew now why all the windows faced this way—the denizens of the twilight gazed at the world and not at a greater than them. Then from the last step of the earthward stairway, like lead past the Under Pits and down the glittering face of Toldenarba, down from the overshadowed glories of the gold-tipped City of Never and out of perpetual twilight, swooped the man on his winged monster: the wind that slept at the time leaped up like a dog at their onrush, it uttered a cry and ran past them. Down on the World it was morning; night was roaming away with his cloak trailed behind him, white mists turned over and over as he went, the orb was grey but it glittered, lights blinked surprisingly in early windows, forth over wet, dim fields went cows from their houses: even in this hour touched the fields again the feet of the hippogriff. And the moment that the man dismounted and took off his magic halter the hippogriff flew slanting away with a whirr, going back to some airy dancing-place of his people.
And the one who was chosen to be the only person to reach the City of Never was quite happy to see it as he trotted down its agate street, with the wings of his hippogriff folded back, witnessing wonders that even China doesn’t know about on either side of him. As he approached the city's farthest edge, where not a single inhabitant stirred, and looked towards a direction where no houses had rose-pink windows, he suddenly spotted, far off and towering over the mountains, an even bigger city. He didn’t know if that city was built in twilight or if it rose from the shores of another world. He saw it overshadow the City of Never and tried to reach it; but at this boundless realm of unknown giants, the hippogriff panicked, and no matter how hard he tried with the magic halter, he couldn’t make the creature turn towards it. Finally, from the lonely outskirts of the City of Never, where no one walked, the rider slowly turned his gaze downward. He understood now why all the windows faced this way—the inhabitants of the twilight looked out at the world rather than at something greater than themselves. Then, from the last step of the descending path, like lead past the Under Pits and down the sparkling slope of Toldenarba, he soared down from the overshadowed splendors of the gold-tipped City of Never and out of the constant twilight, the man on his winged creature: the still wind sprang up like a dog at their approach, it let out a cry and rushed past them. Down on the World it was morning; night was retreating with his cloak trailing behind him, white mists billowed around as he went, the orb was grey but sparkling, lights blinked unexpectedly in early windows, and cows wandered out from their barns across the wet, dim fields: even at this hour, the feet of the hippogriff touched the fields again. The moment the man dismounted and took off his magic halter, the hippogriff shot away with a whirr, returning to some airy gathering place of his kind.
And he that surmounted glittering Toldenarba and came alone of men to the City of Never has his name and his fame among nations; but he and the people of that twilit city well know two things unguessed by other men, they that there is another city fairer than theirs, and he—a deed unaccomplished.
And the one who overcame the shining Toldenarba and was the only man to reach the City of Never has his name and reputation among nations; but he and the people of that dim city know two things that other people don't realize: that there is another city more beautiful than theirs, and he—an unfinished task.
THE CORONATION OF MR. THOMAS SHAP
It was the occupation of Mr. Thomas Shap to persuade customers that the goods were genuine and of an excellent quality, and that as regards the price their unspoken will was consulted. And in order to carry on this occupation he went by train very early every morning some few miles nearer to the City from the suburb in which he slept. This was the use to which he put his life.
Mr. Thomas Shap's job was to convince customers that the products were authentic and of high quality, and that the pricing aligned with their unexpressed desires. To fulfill this role, he took the train every morning to travel a few miles closer to the City from the suburb where he lived. This was how he spent his life.
From the moment when he first perceived (not as one reads a thing in a book, but as truths are revealed to one's instinct) the very beastliness of his occupation, and of the house that he slept in, its shape, make and pretensions, and even of the clothes that he wore; from that moment he withdrew his dreams from it, his fancies, his ambitions, everything in fact except that ponderable Mr. Shap that dressed in a frock-coat, bought tickets and handled money and could in turn be handled by the statistician. The priest's share in Mr. Shap, the share of the poet, never caught the early train to the City at all.
From the moment he first realized (not like reading something in a book, but as truths hit you instinctively) the sheer awful nature of his job and the house he lived in, its shape, style, and pretensions, and even the clothes he wore; from that moment on, he stopped dreaming about it, stopped indulging in fantasies or ambitions—everything, in fact, except for the tangible Mr. Shap, who wore a frock coat, bought tickets, handled money, and could be categorized by the statistician. The priest's part in Mr. Shap, the poet's part, never even caught the early train to the City.
He used to take little flights of fancy at first, dwelt all day in his dreamy way on fields and rivers lying in the sunlight where it strikes the world more brilliantly further South. And then he began to imagine butterflies there; after that, silken people and the temples they built to their gods.
He used to daydream a lot at first, spending all day in his imaginative way thinking about fields and rivers shining in the sunlight where it sparkles more brightly further South. Then he started to picture butterflies there; after that, elegant people and the temples they created for their gods.
They noticed that he was silent, and even absent at times, but they found no fault with his behaviour with customers, to whom he remained as plausible as of old. So he dreamed for a year, and his fancy gained strength as he dreamed. He still read halfpenny papers in the train, still discussed the passing day's ephemeral topic, still voted at elections, though he no longer did these things with the whole Shap—his soul was no longer in them.
They noticed that he was quiet and even seemed distant at times, but they didn't see any issues with how he interacted with customers; he was just as charming as ever. So he dreamed for a year, and his imagination grew stronger as he did. He still read cheap newspapers on the train, still talked about the day's fleeting topics, still voted in elections, although he no longer engaged in these activities with the whole community—his heart was no longer in it.
He had had a pleasant year, his imagination was all new to him still, and it had often discovered beautiful things away where it went, southeast at the edge of the twilight. And he had a matter-of-fact and logical mind, so that he often said, "Why should I pay my twopence at the electric theatre when I can see all sorts of things quite easily without?" Whatever he did was logical before anything else, and those that knew him always spoke of Shap as "a sound, sane, level-headed man."
He had a great year; his imagination was still new to him, and it often uncovered beautiful things in the southeast at twilight. He was practical and logical, so he often said, "Why should I spend my two pence at the electric theater when I can see all sorts of things easily without it?" Everything he did was logical above all else, and those who knew him always referred to Shap as "a sound, sane, level-headed man."
On far the most important day of his life he went as usual to town by the early train to sell plausible articles to customers, while the spiritual Shap roamed off to fanciful lands. As he walked from the station, dreamy but wide awake, it suddenly struck him that the real Shap was not the one walking to Business in black and ugly clothes, but he who roamed along a jungle's edge near the ramparts of an old and Eastern city that rose up sheer from the sand, and against which the desert lapped with one eternal wave. He used to fancy the name of that city was Larkar. "After all, the fancy is as real as the body," he said with perfect logic. It was a dangerous theory.
On the most important day of his life, he took the early train to town as usual to sell convincing articles to customers, while the imaginative Shap journeyed off to whimsical places. As he walked from the station, dreamy yet alert, it suddenly occurred to him that the true Shap wasn't the one heading to work in dull black clothes, but the one wandering along the edge of a jungle near the walls of an ancient Eastern city that rose abruptly from the sand, with the desert washing against it in an endless wave. He used to think the name of that city was Larkar. "After all, imagination is just as real as the body," he said with complete reasoning. It was a risky thought.
For that other life that he led he realized, as in Business, the importance and value of method. He did not let his fancy roam too far until it perfectly knew its first surroundings. Particularly he avoided the jungle—he was not afraid to meet a tiger there (after all it was not real), but stranger things might crouch there. Slowly he built up Larkar: rampart by rampart, towers for archers, gateway of brass, and all. And then one day he argued, and quite rightly, that all the silk-clad people in its streets, their camels, their wares that came from Inkustahn, the city itself, were all the things of his will—and then he made himself King. He smiled after that when people did not raise their hats to him in the street, as he walked from the station to Business; but he was sufficiently practical to recognize that it was better not to talk of this to those that only knew him as Mr. Shap.
For the other life he lived, he realized, just like in Business, how important and valuable having a method was. He didn’t let his imagination wander too far until it fully understood its initial surroundings. He especially steered clear of the jungle—he wasn’t afraid to face a tiger there (after all, it wasn’t real), but strange things might be lurking. Slowly, he built Larkar: rampart by rampart, towers for archers, a brass gateway, and all. Then one day he reasoned, quite correctly, that all the silk-clad people in its streets, their camels, and the goods from Inkustahn, along with the city itself, were all things of his creation—and then he declared himself King. He smiled afterward when people didn’t tip their hats to him in the street as he walked from the station to Business; but he was practical enough to realize it was better not to mention this to those who only knew him as Mr. Shap.
Now that he was King in the city of Larkar and in all the desert that lay to the East and North he sent his fancy to wander further afield. He took the regiments of his camel-guards and went jingling out of Larkar, with little silver bells under the camels' chins, and came to other cities far-off on the yellow sand, with clear white walls and towers, uplifting themselves in the sun. Through their gates he passed with his three silken regiments, the light-blue regiment of the camel-guards being upon his right and the green regiment riding at his left, the lilac regiment going on before. When he had gone through the streets of any city and observed the ways of its people, and had seen the way that the sunlight struck its towers, he would proclaim himself King there, and then ride on in fancy. So he passed from city to city and from land to land. Clear-sighted though Mr. Shap was, I think he overlooked the lust of aggrandizement to which kings have so often been victims; and so it was that when the first few cities had opened their gleaming gates and he saw peoples prostrate before his camel, and spearmen cheering along countless balconies, and priests come out to do him reverence, he that had never had even the lowliest authority in the familiar world became unwisely insatiate. He let his fancy ride at inordinate speed, he forsook method, scarce was he king of a land but he yearned to extend his borders; so he journeyed deeper and deeper into the wholly unknown. The concentration that he gave to this inordinate progress through countries of which history is ignorant and cities so fantastic in their bulwarks that, though their inhabitants were human, yet the foe that they feared seemed something less or more; the amazement with which he beheld gates and towers unknown even to art, and furtive people thronging intricate ways to acclaim him as their sovereign—all these things began to affect his capacity for Business. He knew as well as any that his fancy could not rule these beautiful lands unless that other Shap, however unimportant, were well sheltered and fed: and shelter and food meant money, and money, Business. His was more like the mistake of some gambler with cunning schemes who overlooks human greed. One day his fancy, riding in the morning, came to a city gorgeous as the sunrise, in whose opalescent wall were gates of gold, so huge that a river poured between the bars, floating in, when the gates were opened, large galleons under sail. Thence there came dancing out a company with instruments, and made a melody all around the wall; that morning Mr. Shap, the bodily Shap in London, forgot the train to town.
Now that he was King in the city of Larkar and all the desert to the East and North, he let his imagination wander even further. He took his camel-guard regiments and jingled out of Larkar, with little silver bells hanging from the camels' chins, arriving at distant cities on the golden sand, with bright white walls and towers shining in the sun. He passed through their gates with his three silk regiments—the light-blue regiment of camel guards on his right, the green regiment to his left, and the lilac regiment leading the way. After riding through the streets of each city, observing the ways of its people and the sunlight hitting its towers, he’d declare himself King there and then continue on in his imagination. Thus, he moved from city to city and land to land. Though Mr. Shap was quite perceptive, he seemed to overlook the desire for power that often ensnares kings; so, when he first encountered the gleaming gates of a few cities, saw people bowing before his camel, heard spearmen cheering from countless balconies, and encountered priests coming out to pay homage, he—having never held any authority in the familiar world—became foolishly insatiable. He let his imagination race at reckless speed, abandoning method; scarcely was he king of one land before he yearned to expand his territory, plunging deeper into the completely unknown. His intense focus on this unchecked progress through lands unknown to history and cities so fantastical in their defenses—though their inhabitants were human, the enemy they feared felt more or less than human—began to affect his ability to manage things. He understood as well as anyone that his imagination couldn’t control these beautiful lands unless that other Shap, however insignificant, was well-fed and sheltered: and food and shelter required money, and money meant Business. He was like a gambler with clever schemes who fails to see human greed. One morning, while riding, his imagination led him to a city as stunning as the sunrise, with gates of gold so enormous that a river flowed between the bars, bringing in grand galleons under sail when the gates swung open. From there, a group emerged, joyfully playing instruments, creating a melody that resonated all around the wall; that morning, Mr. Shap, the physical Shap in London, completely forgot the train to town.
Until a year ago he had never imagined at all; it is not to be wondered at that all these things now newly seen by his fancy should play tricks at first with the memory of even so sane a man. He gave up reading the papers altogether, he lost all interest in politics, he cared less and less for things that were going on around him. This unfortunate missing of the morning train even occurred again, and the firm spoke to him severely about it. But he had his consolation. Were not Arathrion and Argun Zeerith and all the level coasts of Oora his? And even as the firm found fault with him his fancy watched the yaks on weary journeys, slow specks against the snow-fields, bringing tribute; and saw the green eyes of the mountain men who had looked at him strangely in the city of Nith when he had entered it by the desert door. Yet his logic did not forsake him; he knew well that his strange subjects did not exist, but he was prouder of having created them with his brain, than merely of ruling them only; thus in his pride he felt himself something more great than a king, he did not dare to think what! He went into the temple of the city of Zorra and stood some time there alone: all the priests kneeled to him when he came away.
Until a year ago, he had never imagined it at all; it's no surprise that all these things now vividly captured by his imagination would initially confuse even such a rational man. He completely stopped reading the newspapers, lost all interest in politics, and cared less and less about what was happening around him. This unfortunate incident of missing the morning train happened again, and the company reprimanded him about it. But he had his solace. Were not Arathrion and Argun Zeerith and all the flat shores of Oora his? And even as the firm criticized him, his imagination pictured the yaks on their exhausting journeys, tiny dots against the snowfields, delivering tributes; he recalled the green eyes of the mountain men who had looked at him oddly in the city of Nith when he had entered through the desert gate. Yet his logic didn't abandon him; he knew very well that his unusual creations didn’t exist, but he took more pride in having conjured them with his mind than just ruling over them; thus, in his pride, he felt himself to be something greater than a king—he didn’t dare to think what! He went into the temple of the city of Zorra and stood there alone for a while: all the priests knelt before him when he left.
He cared less and less for the things we care about, for the affairs of Shap, the business-man in London. He began to despise the man with a royal contempt.
He started to care less and less about the things we value, like the matters of Shap, the businessman in London. He began to look down on the man with a sense of royal contempt.
One day when he sat in Sowla, the city of the Thuls, throned on one amethyst, he decided, and it was proclaimed on the moment by silver trumpets all along the land, that he would be crowned as king over all the lands of Wonder.
One day, while he was sitting in Sowla, the city of the Thuls, resting on a giant amethyst, he made a decision. It was announced immediately by silver trumpets throughout the land that he would be crowned king over all the lands of Wonder.
By that old temple where the Thuls were worshipped, year in, year out, for over a thousand years, they pitched pavilions in the open air. The trees that blew there threw out radiant scents unknown in any countries that know the map; the stars blazed fiercely for that famous occasion. A fountain hurled up, clattering, ceaselessly into the air armfuls on armfuls of diamonds. A deep hush waited for the golden trumpets, the holy coronation night was come. At the top of those old, worn steps, going down we know not whither, stood the king in the emerald-and-amethyst cloak, the ancient garb of the Thuls; beside him lay that Sphinx that for the last few weeks had advised him in his affairs.
By that old temple where the Thuls were worshipped, year after year, for over a thousand years, they set up pavilions outdoors. The trees there released amazing scents that you won’t find in any known country; the stars shone brightly for that special occasion. A fountain shot up, sparkling endlessly into the air, sending out streams of diamonds. A deep silence awaited the golden trumpets; the holy coronation night had arrived. At the top of those old, weathered steps, leading down we don’t know where, stood the king in the emerald-and-amethyst cloak, the traditional attire of the Thuls; beside him lay the Sphinx that had counseled him on his matters for the past few weeks.
Slowly, with music when the trumpets sounded, came up towards him from we know not where, one-hundred-and-twenty archbishops, twenty angels and two archangels, with that terrific crown, the diadem of the Thuls. They knew as they came up to him that promotion awaited them all because of this night's work. Silent, majestic, the king awaited them.
Slowly, as music played when the trumpets sounded, there came towards him from we know not where, one hundred twenty archbishops, twenty angels, and two archangels, with that incredible crown, the diadem of the Thuls. They knew as they approached him that promotion awaited them all because of the work done that night. Silent and majestic, the king waited for them.
The doctors downstairs were sitting over their supper, the warders softly slipped from room to room, and when in that cosy dormitory of Hanwell they saw the king still standing erect and royal, his face resolute, they came up to him and addressed him:
The doctors downstairs were having their dinner, the guards quietly moved from room to room, and when in the cozy dormitory of Hanwell they saw the king still standing tall and regal, his expression determined, they approached him and spoke to him:
"Go to bed," they said—"pretty bed." So he lay down and soon was fast asleep: the great day was over.
"Go to bed," they said—"nice bed." So he lay down and soon fell fast asleep: the big day was over.
CHU-BU AND SHEEMISH
It was the custom on Tuesdays in the temple of Chu-bu for the priests to enter at evening and chant, "There is none but Chu-bu."
It was the custom on Tuesdays in the temple of Chu-bu for the priests to enter in the evening and chant, "There is none but Chu-bu."
And all the people rejoiced and cried out, "There is none but Chu-bu." And honey was offered to Chu-bu, and maize and fat. Thus was he magnified.
And everyone celebrated and shouted, "No one compares to Chu-bu." They offered honey, maize, and fat to Chu-bu. That’s how he was honored.
Chu-bu was an idol of some antiquity, as may be seen from the colour of the wood. He had been carved out of mahogany, and after he was carved he had been polished. Then they had set him up on the diorite pedestal with the brazier in front of it for burning spices and the flat gold plates for fat. Thus they worshipped Chu-bu.
Chu-bu was an ancient idol, as shown by the color of the wood. He was carved from mahogany, and after the carving, he was polished. Then he was placed on the diorite pedestal, with a brazier in front for burning spices and flat gold plates for fat. This is how they worshipped Chu-bu.
He must have been there for over a hundred years when one day the priests came in with another idol into the temple of Chu-bu, and set it up on a pedestal near Chu-bu's and sang, "There is also Sheemish."
He must have been there for over a hundred years when one day the priests came in with another idol into the temple of Chu-bu, set it up on a pedestal next to Chu-bu's, and sang, "There’s also Sheemish."
And all the people rejoiced and cried out, "There is also Sheemish."
And everyone celebrated and shouted, "There's also Sheemish!"
Sheemish was palpably a modern idol, and although the wood was stained with a dark-red dye, you could see that he had only just been carved. And honey was offered to Sheemish as well as Chu-bu, and also maize and fat.
Sheemish was clearly a modern idol, and even though the wood was dyed a dark red, you could tell he had just been carved. Honey was offered to Sheemish as well as Chu-bu, along with maize and fat.
The fury of Chu-bu knew no time-limit: he was furious all that night, and next day he was furious still. The situation called for immediate miracles. To devastate the city with a pestilence and kill all his priests was scarcely within his power, therefore he wisely concentrated such divine powers as he had in commanding a little earthquake. "Thus," thought Chu-bu, "will I reassert myself as the only god, and men shall spit upon Sheemish."
The rage of Chu-bu had no end: he was furious all night, and the next day he was still furious. The situation demanded immediate miracles. Wiping out the city with a plague and killing all his priests was hardly within his abilities, so he wisely focused his divine powers on creating a small earthquake. "This," thought Chu-bu, "will let me reestablish myself as the only god, and people will turn against Sheemish."
Chu-bu willed it and willed it and still no earthquake came, when suddenly he was aware that the hated Sheemish was daring to attempt a miracle too. He ceased to busy himself about the earthquake and listened, or shall I say felt, for what Sheemish was thinking; for gods are aware of what passes in the mind by a sense that is other than any of our five. Sheemish was trying to make an earthquake too.
Chu-bu wanted it and wanted it, but no earthquake came. Then he realized that the despised Sheemish was also trying to perform a miracle. He stopped focusing on the earthquake and listened, or should I say felt, for what Sheemish was thinking; because gods have a way of knowing what’s on a person's mind through a sense beyond our five. Sheemish was also attempting to create an earthquake.
The new god's motive was probably to assert himself. I doubt if Chu-bu understood or cared for his motive; it was sufficient for an idol already aflame with jealousy that his detestable rival was on the verge of a miracle. All the power of Chu-bu veered round at once and set dead against an earthquake, even a little one. It was thus in the temple of Chu-bu for some time, and then no earthquake came.
The new god's motive was likely to establish his dominance. I doubt Chu-bu understood or even cared about his reasoning; it was enough for an idol already consumed with jealousy that his loathsome rival was close to performing a miracle. All of Chu-bu's power immediately turned against the possibility of an earthquake, even a small one. This was the situation in the temple of Chu-bu for a while, and then no earthquake happened.
To be a god and to fail to achieve a miracle is a despairing sensation; it is as though among men one should determine upon a hearty sneeze and as though no sneeze should come; it is as though one should try to swim in heavy boots or remember a name that is utterly forgotten: all these pains were Sheemish's.
To be a god and fail to perform a miracle feels utterly hopeless; it’s like trying to let out a big sneeze but nothing comes out. It’s like attempting to swim in heavy boots or trying to recall a completely forgotten name: all of these struggles were Sheemish's.
And upon Tuesday the priests came in, and the people, and they did worship Chu-bu and offered fat to him, saying, "O Chu-bu who made everything," and then the priests sang, "There is also Sheemish"; and Chu-bu was put to shame and spake not for three days.
And on Tuesday, the priests showed up, along with the people, and they worshipped Chu-bu, offering him fat while saying, "O Chu-bu who created everything." Then the priests sang, "There is also Sheemish," and Chu-bu felt embarrassed and didn't speak for three days.
Now there were holy birds in the temple of Chu-bu, and when the third day was come and the night thereof, it was as it were revealed to the mind of Chu-bu, that there was dirt upon the head of Sheemish.
Now there were sacred birds in the temple of Chu-bu, and when the third day arrived along with its night, it seemed to be revealed to the mind of Chu-bu that there was dirt on the head of Sheemish.
And Chu-bu spake unto Sheemish as speak the gods, moving no lips nor yet disturbing the silence, saying, "There is dirt upon thy head, O Sheemish." All night long he muttered again and again, "there is dirt upon Sheemish's head." And when it was dawn and voices were heard far off, Chu-bu became exultant with Earth's awakening things, and cried out till the sun was high, "Dirt, dirt, dirt, upon the head of Sheemish," and at noon he said, "So Sheemish would be a god." Thus was Sheemish confounded.
And Chu-bu spoke to Sheemish like the gods do, without moving his lips or breaking the silence, saying, "You have dirt on your head, Sheemish." All night long, he repeated over and over, "there's dirt on Sheemish's head." When dawn broke and distant voices could be heard, Chu-bu felt excited with the awakening of the Earth and shouted until the sun was high, "Dirt, dirt, dirt, on Sheemish's head," and at noon he said, "So Sheemish wants to be a god." This left Sheemish baffled.
And with Tuesday one came and washed his head with rose-water, and he was worshipped again when they sang "There is also Sheemish." And yet was Chu-bu content, for he said, "The head of Sheemish has been defiled," and again, "His head was defiled, it is enough." And one evening lo! there was dirt on the head of Chu-bu also, and the thing was perceived of Sheemish.
And on Tuesday, someone came and washed his head with rose-water, and he was praised again when they sang "There is also Sheemish." Yet Chu-bu was satisfied, for he said, "Sheemish's head has been dirtied," and again, "His head was dirtied, that’s enough." Then one evening, look! there was dirt on Chu-bu's head too, and Sheemish noticed it.
It is not with the gods as it is with men. We are angry one with another and turn from our anger again, but the wrath of the gods is enduring. Chu-bu remembered and Sheemish did not forget. They spake as we do not speak, in silence yet heard of each other, nor were their thoughts as our thoughts. We should not judge them merely by human standards. All night long they spake and all night said these words only: "Dirty Chu-bu," "Dirty Sheemish." "Dirty Chu-bu," "Dirty Sheemish," all night long. Their wrath had not tired at dawn, and neither had wearied of his accusation. And gradually Chu-bu came to realize that he was nothing more than the equal of Sheemish. All gods are jealous, but this equality with the upstart Sheemish, a thing of painted wood a hundred years newer than Chu-bu, and this worship given to Sheemish in Chu-bu's own temple, were particularly bitter. Chu-bu was jealous even for a god; and when Tuesday came again, the third day of Sheemish's worship, Chu-bu could bear it no longer. He felt that his anger must be revealed at all costs, and he returned with all the vehemence of his will to achieving a little earthquake. The worshippers had just gone from his temple when Chu-bu settled his will to attain this miracle. Now and then his meditations were disturbed by that now familiar dictum, "Dirty Chu-bu," but Chu-bu willed ferociously, not even stopping to say what he longed to say and had already said nine hundred times, and presently even these interruptions ceased.
It's not the same for the gods as it is for humans. We get angry with each other and then move on, but the gods' anger lasts forever. Chu-bu remembered, while Sheemish did not forget. They communicated in a way we can't understand, in silence yet still aware of each other, and their thoughts were different from ours. We shouldn’t judge them by human standards. All night long they repeated the same phrases: "Dirty Chu-bu," "Dirty Sheemish." "Dirty Chu-bu," "Dirty Sheemish," over and over. Their anger hadn’t worn off by dawn, and neither had the accusations. Eventually, Chu-bu realized that he was nothing more than equal to Sheemish. All gods are jealous, but this equality with the upstart Sheemish, a thing made of painted wood a hundred years newer than Chu-bu, and the worship Sheemish received in Chu-bu's own temple, was especially bitter. Chu-bu felt jealousy even as a god; and when Tuesday arrived again, the third day of Sheemish's worship, Chu-bu couldn’t take it anymore. He felt he had to express his anger at any cost, and he focused all of his will on creating a little earthquake. The worshippers had just left his temple when Chu-bu decided to make this miracle happen. Occasionally, his thoughts were interrupted by that now-familiar phrase, "Dirty Chu-bu," but Chu-bu willed with ferocity, not even pausing to say what he wanted to say, which he had already said nine hundred times, and eventually, those interruptions faded away.
They ceased because Sheemish had returned to a project that he had never definitely abandoned, the desire to assert himself and exalt himself over Chu-bu by performing a miracle, and the district being volcanic he had chosen a little earthquake as the miracle most easily accomplished by a small god.
They stopped because Sheemish had gone back to a project he had never truly given up on—the desire to prove himself and elevate himself over Chu-bu by pulling off a miracle. Since the area was volcanic, he figured a minor earthquake would be the easiest miracle for a small god to achieve.
Now an earthquake that is commanded by two gods has double the chance of fulfilment than when it is willed by one, and an incalculably greater chance than when two gods are pulling different ways; as, to take the case of older and greater gods, when the sun and the moon pull in the same direction we have the biggest tides.
Now, an earthquake that is commanded by two gods has double the chance of happening compared to when it's willed by one, and a vastly greater chance than when two gods are pulling in different directions; for example, when the sun and the moon pull together, we get the biggest tides.
Chu-bu knew nothing of the theory of tides, and was too much occupied with his miracle to notice what Sheemish was doing. And suddenly the miracle was an accomplished thing.
Chu-bu didn't understand the theory of tides and was too caught up in his miracle to pay attention to what Sheemish was doing. And then, out of nowhere, the miracle was a reality.
It was a very local earthquake, for there are other gods than Chu-bu or even Sheemish, and it was only a little one as the gods had willed, but it loosened some monoliths in a colonnade that supported one side of the temple and the whole of one wall fell in, and the low huts of the people of that city were shaken a little and some of their doors were jammed so that they would not open; it was enough, and for a moment it seemed that it was all; neither Chu-bu nor Sheemish commanded there should be more, but they had set in motion an old law older than Chu-bu, the law of gravity that that colonnade had held back for a hundred years, and the temple of Chu-bu quivered and then stood still, swayed once and was overthrown, on the heads of Chu-bu and Sheemish.
It was a very localized earthquake, as there are other gods besides Chu-bu or even Sheemish, and it was just a minor one as the gods intended. However, it caused some monoliths in a colonnade that supported one side of the temple to loosen, and the entire wall collapsed. The low huts of the city's residents shook a bit, and some of their doors got jammed and wouldn't open; that was enough, and for a moment it seemed like that was all. Neither Chu-bu nor Sheemish decreed that there should be more, but they had triggered an ancient law older than Chu-bu—the law of gravity—that the colonnade had kept at bay for a hundred years. The temple of Chu-bu trembled, then stood still, swayed once, and collapsed onto the heads of Chu-bu and Sheemish.
No one rebuilt it, for nobody dared to near such terrible gods. Some said that Chu-bu wrought the miracle, but some said Sheemish, and thereof schism was born. The weakly amiable, alarmed by the bitterness of rival sects, sought compromise and said that both had wrought it, but no one guessed the truth that the thing was done in rivalry.
No one rebuilt it because nobody wanted to come near such terrifying gods. Some claimed that Chu-bu performed the miracle, while others said it was Sheemish, which led to a split. Those who were more peace-loving, frightened by the hostility of the competing groups, tried to find a middle ground and said that both had accomplished it, but no one realized the truth that it was done out of rivalry.
And a saying arose, and both sects held this belief in common, that whoso toucheth Chu-bu shall die or whoso looketh upon Sheemish.
And a saying emerged, shared by both groups, that anyone who touches Chu-bu will die, or anyone who looks at Sheemish will face the same fate.
That is how Chu-bu came into my possession when I travelled once beyond the hills of Ting. I found him in the fallen temple of Chu-bu with his hands and toes sticking up out of the rubbish, lying upon his back, and in that attitude just as I found him I keep him to this day on my mantlepiece, as he is less liable to be upset that way. Sheemish was broken, so I left him where he was.
That’s how I ended up with Chu-bu when I traveled beyond the Ting hills. I found him in the ruined temple of Chu-bu, with his hands and toes sticking out of the debris, lying on his back. I've kept him that way on my mantlepiece ever since because he’s less likely to get knocked over. Sheemish was broken, so I left him where he was.
And there is something so helpless about Chu-bu with his fat hands stuck up in the air that sometimes I am moved out of compassion to bow down to him and pray, saying, "O Chu-bu, thou that made everything, help thy servant."
And there’s something so helpless about Chu-bu with his pudgy hands raised high that sometimes I feel compelled to bow down to him and pray, saying, "O Chu-bu, you who made everything, help your servant."
Chu-bu cannot do much, though once I am sure that at a game of bridge he sent me the ace of trumps after I had not held a card worth having for the whole of the evening. And chance alone could have done as much as that for me. But I do not tell this to Chu-bu.
Chu-bu can't do much, but I remember one time during a game of bridge when he sent me the ace of trumps after I hadn’t held a single decent card all evening. Even luck could have done that for me. But I don’t mention this to Chu-bu.
THE WONDERFUL WINDOW
The old man in the Oriental-looking robe was being moved on by the police, and it was this that attracted to him and the parcel under his arm the attention of Mr. Sladden, whose livelihood was earned in the emporium of Messrs. Mergin and Chater, that is to say in their establishment.
The old man in the Eastern-style robe was being ushered along by the police, and this caught the attention of Mr. Sladden, who made his living at the shop of Messrs. Mergin and Chater, specifically in their establishment.
Mr. Sladden had the reputation of being the silliest young man in Business; a touch of romance—a mere suggestion of it—would send his eyes gazing away as though the walls of the emporium were of gossamer and London itself a myth, instead of attending to customers.
Mr. Sladden was known as the silliest young man in Business; even a hint of romance—just a little bit—would make him zone out as if the walls of the store were made of delicate fabric and London was just a fantasy, instead of focusing on the customers.
Merely the fact that the dirty piece of paper that wrapped the old man's parcel was covered with Arabic writing was enough to give Mr. Sladden the idea of romance, and he followed until the little crowd fell off and the stranger stopped by the kerb and unwrapped his parcel and prepared to sell the thing that was inside it. It was a little window in old wood with small panes set in lead; it was not much more than a foot in breadth and was under two feet long. Mr. Sladden had never before seen a window sold in the street, so he asked the price of it.
The simple fact that the dirty piece of paper wrapping the old man's parcel had Arabic writing on it sparked a romantic idea in Mr. Sladden's mind. He followed the old man until the small crowd dispersed, and the stranger stopped at the curb, unwrapped his parcel, and got ready to sell what was inside. It was a little window made of old wood, with small panes set in lead; it was just over a foot wide and under two feet long. Mr. Sladden had never seen a window being sold on the street before, so he asked for its price.
"Its price is all you possess," said the old man.
"Its price is all you have," said the old man.
"Where did you get it?" said Mr. Sladden, for it was a strange window.
"Where did you get that?" Mr. Sladden asked, since it was an unusual window.
"I gave all that I possessed for it in the streets of Baghdad."
"I gave everything I had for it in the streets of Baghdad."
"Did you possess much?" said Mr. Sladden.
"Did you have a lot?" asked Mr. Sladden.
"I had all that I wanted," he said, "except this window."
"I had everything I wanted," he said, "except for this window."
"It must be a good window," said the young man.
"It must be a good window," said the young man.
"It is a magical window," said the old one.
"It’s a magical window," said the elder.
"I have only ten shillings on me, but I have fifteen-and-six at home."
"I only have ten shillings on me, but I have fifteen and six at home."
The old man thought for a while.
The old man thought for a moment.
"Then twenty-five-and-sixpence is the price of the window," he said.
"Then twenty-five shillings and sixpence is the price of the window," he said.
It was only when the bargain was completed and the ten shillings paid and the strange old man was coming for his fifteen-and-six and to fit the magical window into his only room that it occurred to Mr. Sladden's mind that he did not want a window. And then they were at the door of the house in which he rented a room, and it seemed too late to explain.
It was only after the deal was done, the ten shillings paid, and the strange old man was coming for his fifteen-and-six to install the magical window in his only room that Mr. Sladden realized he didn't actually want a window. Then they reached the door of the house where he rented a room, and it felt too late to back out.
The stranger demanded privacy when he fitted up the window, so Mr. Sladden remained outside the door at the top of a little flight of creaky stairs. He heard no sound of hammering.
The stranger asked for privacy while he set up the window, so Mr. Sladden stayed outside the door at the top of a small set of creaky stairs. He didn't hear any sounds of hammering.
And presently the strange old man came out with his faded yellow robe and his great beard, and his eyes on far-off places. "It is finished," he said, and he and the young man parted. And whether he remained a spot of colour and an anachronism in London, or whether he ever came again to Baghdad, and what dark hands kept on the circulation of his twenty-five-and-six, Mr. Sladden never knew.
And soon the strange old man appeared in his faded yellow robe, with his long beard and eyes fixed on distant places. "It's over," he said, and he and the young man went their separate ways. Whether he stayed a splash of color and an oddity in London, or if he ever returned to Baghdad, and what shady hands continued to manage his twenty-five-and-six, Mr. Sladden never found out.
Mr. Sladden entered the bare-boarded room in which he slept and spent all his indoor hours between closing-time and the hour at which Messrs. Mergin and Chater commenced. To the Penates of so dingy a room his neat frock-coat must have been a continual wonder. Mr. Sladden took it off and folded it carefully; and there was the old man's window rather high up in the wall. There had been no window in that wall hitherto, nor any ornament at all but a small cupboard, so when Mr. Sladden had put his frock-coat safely away he glanced through his new window. It was where his cupboard had been in which he kept his tea-things: they were all standing on the table now. When Mr. Sladden glanced through his new window it was late in a summer's evening; the butterflies some while ago would have closed their wings, though the bat would scarcely yet be drifting abroad—but this was in London: the shops were shut and street-lamps not yet lighted.
Mr. Sladden walked into the plain room where he slept and spent all his indoor time between closing and the moment Messrs. Mergin and Chater started. To the spirits of such a dreary room, his neat frock coat must have been a constant surprise. Mr. Sladden took it off and folded it carefully; there was the old man's window, placed rather high in the wall. There hadn’t been a window in that wall before, or any decoration at all apart from a small cupboard, so after safely stowing away his frock coat, Mr. Sladden looked through his new window. It was where his cupboard used to be, where he kept his tea things: they were all sitting on the table now. When Mr. Sladden glanced out of his new window, it was late on a summer evening; the butterflies must have closed their wings a while ago, though the bat was just starting to fly around—but this was in London: the shops were closed and the streetlights weren’t on yet.
Mr. Sladden rubbed his eyes, then rubbed the window, and still he saw a sky of blazing blue, and far, far down beneath him, so that no sound came up from it or smoke of chimneys, a mediaeval city set with towers; brown roofs and cobbled streets, and then white walls and buttresses, and beyond them bright green fields and tiny streams. On the towers archers lolled, and along the walls were pikemen, and now and then a wagon went down some old-world street and lumbered through the gateway and out to the country, and now and then a wagon drew up to the city from the mist that was rolling with evening over the fields. Sometimes folks put their heads out of lattice windows, sometimes some idle troubadour seemed to sing, and nobody hurried or troubled about anything. Airy and dizzy though the distance was, for Mr. Sladden seemed higher above the city than any cathedral gargoyle, yet one clear detail he obtained as a clue: the banners floating from every tower over the idle archers had little golden dragons all over a pure white field.
Mr. Sladden rubbed his eyes, then wiped the window, and still he saw a bright blue sky. Far below him, so distant that no sound or smoke from chimneys reached him, was a medieval city filled with towers; brown roofs and cobbled streets, white walls and buttresses, and beyond them, vibrant green fields and small streams. Archers lounged on the towers, and pikemen lined the walls. Every once in a while, a wagon trundled down some old-world street, passing through the gateway and heading out to the countryside, and occasionally, a wagon approached the city from the mist rolling in with the evening over the fields. Sometimes people peeked out of lattice windows, sometimes an idle troubadour seemed to sing, and no one was in a hurry or worried about anything. Although the distance felt airy and dizzying, as Mr. Sladden seemed higher above the city than any cathedral gargoyle, one clear detail caught his eye: the banners flying from every tower over the relaxed archers had little golden dragons on a pure white background.
He heard motor-buses roar by his other window, he heard the newsboys howling.
He heard buses roaring past his other window, and he heard the newsboys shouting.
Mr. Sladden grew dreamier than ever after that on the premises, in the establishment of Messrs. Mergin and Chater. But in one matter he was wise and wakeful: he made continuous and careful inquiries about the golden dragons on a white flag, and talked to no one of his wonderful window. He came to know the flags of every king in Europe, he even dabbled in history, he made inquiries at shops that understood heraldry, but nowhere could he learn any trace of little dragons or on a field argent. And when it seemed that for him alone those golden dragons had fluttered he came to love them as an exile in some desert might love the lilies of his home or as a sick man might love swallows when he cannot easily live to another spring.
Mr. Sladden became more lost in his thoughts than ever after that at the establishment of Messrs. Mergin and Chater. But in one way he was sharp and alert: he kept making careful inquiries about the golden dragons on a white flag and didn’t share anything about his amazing window with anyone. He learned about the flags of every king in Europe, even dabbled in history, and asked at shops that specialized in heraldry, but he couldn’t find any mention of little dragons or on a field argent. And when it seemed that those golden dragons were only meant for him, he grew to love them like an exile in a desert might love the lilies of his homeland, or like a sick person might long for swallows when he can't be sure he'll see another spring.
As soon as Messrs. Mergin and Chater closed, Mr. Sladden used to go back to his dingy room and gaze though the wonderful window until it grew dark in the city and the guard would go with a lantern round the ramparts and the night came up like velvet, full of strange stars. Another clue he tried to obtain one night by jotting down the shapes of the constellations, but this led him no further, for they were unlike any that shone upon either hemisphere.
As soon as Mergin and Chater finished, Sladden would head back to his gloomy room and stare out the amazing window until it got dark in the city. The guard would walk around the ramparts with a lantern, and night would settle in like velvet, filled with strange stars. One night, he tried to find another clue by writing down the shapes of the constellations, but that didn't help him either, as they were different from any that appeared in either hemisphere.
Each day as soon as he woke he went first to the wonderful window, and there was the city, diminutive in the distance, all shining in the morning, and the golden dragons dancing in the sun, and the archers stretching themselves or swinging their arms on the tops of the windy towers. The window would not open, so that he never heard the songs that the troubadours sang down there beneath the gilded balconies; he did not even hear the belfries' chimes, though he saw the jack-daws routed every hour from their homes. And the first thing that he always did was to cast his eye round all the little towers that rose up from the ramparts to see that the little golden dragons were flying there on their flags. And when he saw them flaunting themselves on white folds from every tower against the marvelous deep blue of the sky he dressed contentedly, and, taking one last look, went off to his work with a glory in his mind. It would have been difficult for the customers of Messrs. Mergin and Chater to guess the precise ambition of Mr. Sladden as he walked before them in his neat frock-coat: it was that he might be a man-at-arms or an archer in order to fight for the little golden dragons that flew on a white flag for an unknown king in an inaccessible city. At first Mr. Sladden used to walk round and round the mean street that he lived in, but he gained no clue from that; and soon he noticed that quite different winds blew below his wonderful window from those that blew on the other side of the house.
Every day as soon as he woke up, he first went to the amazing window, and there was the city, tiny in the distance, all sparkling in the morning light, with the golden dragons dancing in the sun and the archers stretching or swinging their arms on top of the windy towers. The window wouldn’t open, so he never heard the songs that the troubadours sang down there beneath the gilded balconies; he didn’t even hear the church bells ringing, though he saw the jackdaws driven out of their nests every hour. The first thing he always did was look around at all the little towers rising from the ramparts to check that the little golden dragons were flying on their flags. And when he saw them proudly displayed on white banners from every tower against the stunning deep blue sky, he dressed happily, took one last look, and headed off to work with a sense of glory in his mind. It would have been hard for the customers of Messrs. Mergin and Chater to guess Mr. Sladden’s exact ambition as he walked in front of them in his smart frock coat: he wanted to be a man-at-arms or an archer so he could fight for the little golden dragons that flew on a white flag for an unknown king in an unreachable city. At first, Mr. Sladden would walk round and round the shabby street where he lived, but he didn’t gain any insight from that; soon he noticed that completely different winds blew below his amazing window compared to those on the other side of the house.
In August the evenings began to grow shorter: this was the very remark that the other employees made to him at the emporium, so that he almost feared that they suspected his secret, and he had much less time for the wonderful window, for lights were few down there and they blinked out early.
In August, the evenings started getting shorter: that was exactly what the other employees at the store mentioned to him, which made him worry that they might suspect his secret. He had much less time to enjoy the amazing window displays because there were only a few lights down there, and they turned off early.
One morning late in August, just before he went to Business, Mr. Sladden saw a company of pikemen running down the cobbled road towards the gateway of the mediaeval city—Golden Dragon City he used to call it alone in his own mind, but he never spoke of it to anyone. The next thing that he noticed was that the archers were handling round bundles of arrows in addition to the quivers which they wore. Heads were thrust out of windows more than usual, a woman ran out and called some children indoors, a knight rode down the street, and then more pikemen appeared along the walls, and all the jack-daws were in the air. In the street no troubadour sang. Mr. Sladden took one look along the towers to see that the flags were flying, and all the golden dragons were streaming in the wind. Then he had to go to Business. He took a bus back that evening and ran upstairs. Nothing seemed to be happening in Golden Dragon City except a crowd in the cobbled street that led down to the gateway; the archers seemed to be reclining as usual lazily in their towers, and then a white flag went down with all its golden dragons; he did not see at first that all the archers were dead. The crowd was pouring towards him, towards the precipitous wall from which he looked; men with a white flag covered with golden dragons were moving backwards slowly, men with another flag were pressing them, a flag on which there was one huge red bear. Another banner went down upon a tower. Then he saw it all: the golden dragons were being beaten—his little golden dragons. The men of the bear were coming under the window; what ever he threw from that height would fall with terrific force: fire-irons, coal, his clock, whatever he had—he would fight for his little golden dragons yet. A flame broke out from one of the towers and licked the feet of a reclining archer; he did not stir. And now the alien standard was out of sight directly underneath. Mr. Sladden broke the panes of the wonderful window and wrenched away with a poker the lead that held them. Just as the glass broke he saw a banner covered with golden dragons fluttering still, and then as he drew back to hurl the poker there came to him the scent of mysterious spices, and there was nothing there, not even the daylight, for behind the fragments of the wonderful window was nothing but that small cupboard in which he kept his tea-things.
One morning late in August, just before heading to work, Mr. Sladden saw a group of pikemen running down the cobblestone road toward the gate of the medieval city—Golden Dragon City, as he privately called it but never mentioned to anyone. Next, he noticed that the archers were handling round bundles of arrows along with the quivers they wore. People were leaning out of windows more than usual, a woman rushed out and called some kids indoors, a knight rode down the street, and then more pikemen appeared along the walls, while all the jackdaws were in the air. There was no troubadour singing in the street. Mr. Sladden glanced at the towers to see the flags flying, with all the golden dragons fluttering in the wind. Then he had to go to work. He took a bus back that evening and ran upstairs. Nothing seemed to be happening in Golden Dragon City except for a crowd in the cobbled street leading down to the gate; the archers appeared to be lounging lazily in their towers, and then a white flag came down with all its golden dragons; he didn’t initially see that all the archers were dead. The crowd was surging toward him, toward the steep wall he was overlooking; men with a white flag covered in golden dragons were slowly retreating, while others with a different flag were pressing them, a flag bearing a giant red bear. Another banner fell on a tower. Then it all clicked: the golden dragons were losing—his little golden dragons. The bear-men were coming underneath his window; anything he threw from that height would hit with devastating force: fire tools, coal, his clock, anything—he would still fight for his little golden dragons. A fire erupted from one of the towers and licked the feet of a lounging archer; he didn’t move. Now the enemy standard was out of sight right below. Mr. Sladden broke the panes of the beautiful window and pried loose with a poker the lead holding them. Just as the glass shattered, he saw a banner decorated with golden dragons still fluttering, and then as he pulled back to throw the poker, he caught a whiff of mysterious spices, and there was nothing there, not even daylight, for behind the shards of the beautiful window was only the small cupboard where he kept his tea things.
And though Mr. Sladden is older now and knows more of the world, and even has a Business of his own, he has never been able to buy such another window, and has not ever since, either from books or men, heard any rumour at all of Golden Dragon City.
And even though Mr. Sladden is older now and understands more about the world, and even runs his own business, he has never been able to find another window like that one, and since then, he hasn't heard any rumors about Golden Dragon City, either from books or people.
EPILOGUE
Here the fourteenth Episode of the Book of Wonder endeth and here the relating of the Chronicles of Little Adventures at the Edge of the World. I take farewell of my readers. But it may be we shall even meet again, for it is still to be told how the gnomes robbed the fairies, and of the vengeance that the fairies took, and how even the gods themselves were troubled thereby in their sleep; and how the King of Ool insulted the troubadours, thinking himself safe among his scores of archers and hundreds of halberdiers, and how the troubadours stole to his towers by night, and under his battlements by the light of the moon made that king ridiculous for ever in song. But for this I must first return to the Edge of the World. Behold, the caravans start.
Here the fourteenth episode of the Book of Wonder ends, and so does the story of the Chronicles of Little Adventures at the Edge of the World. I bid farewell to my readers. But perhaps we’ll meet again, for there’s still the tale of how the gnomes stole from the fairies, the revenge the fairies took, and how even the gods were disturbed in their sleep by it; and how the King of Ool insulted the troubadours, thinking he was safe with his scores of archers and hundreds of halberdiers, and how the troubadours slipped into his towers at night, and beneath his battlements by the light of the moon, made that king a laughingstock forever in song. But for this, I must first return to the Edge of the World. Look, the caravans are setting out.
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