This is a modern-English version of Queenie's whim, Volume 2 (of 3) : A novel, originally written by Carey, Rosa Nouchette.
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QUEENIE'S WHIM
A Novel
A Novel
BY
BY
ROSA NOUCHETTE CAREY
ROSA NOUCHETTE CAREY
AUTHOR OF
"NELLIE'S MEMORIES," "WOOED AND MARRIED,"
ETC.
AUTHOR OF
"NELLIE'S MEMORIES," "WOOED AND MARRIED,"
ETC.
IN THREE VOLUMES.
IN THREE VOLUMES.
VOL. II.
VOL. II.
LONDON
RICHARD BENTLEY AND SON
Publishers in Ordinary to Her Majesty the Queen
1881
LONDON
RICHARD BENTLEY AND SON
Publishers for Her Majesty the Queen
1881
[Rights of Translation Reserved]
[Translation Rights Reserved]
Bungay:
CLAY AND TAYLOR, PRINTERS.
Bungay:
CLAY AND TAYLOR, PRINTERS.
CONTENTS OF VOL. II.
CONTENTS OF VOL. 2.
CHAPTER I.
CHAPTER 1.
CHAPTER II.
CHAPTER 2.
CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER 3.
CHAPTER IV.
CHAPTER 4.
CHAPTER V.
Chapter 5.
CHAPTER VI.
CHAPTER 6.
CHAPTER VII.
CHAPTER 7.
CHAPTER VIII.
CHAPTER 8.
CHAPTER IX.
CHAPTER 9.
CHAPTER X.
CHAPTER X.
CHAPTER XI.
CHAPTER 11.
CHAPTER XII.
CHAPTER 12.
CHAPTER XIII.
CHAPTER 13.
CHAPTER XIV.
CHAPTER 14.
QUEENIE'S WHIM.
QUEENIE'S FANCY.
CHAPTER I.
THE NEW SCHOOL-MISTRESS.
"The trivial round, the common task,
Would furnish all we ought to ask—
Room to deny ourselves, a road
To bring us daily nearer God."—Keble.
"The everyday routine, the usual chores,
Would provide everything we need—
Space to practice self-denial, a path
To bring us closer to God each day."—Keble.
"In a month from this time you will enter on your new duties as mistress of the Hepshaw girls' school."
"In a month from now, you'll start your new role as the head of the Hepshaw girls' school."
Queenie gave a little start and cry of suppressed pleasure, and then the color rushed over her face. With sudden impulse, as involuntary as it was graceful, she held out her hand to Garth.
Queenie jumped a bit and gasped in quiet delight, and then her face flushed. On a sudden impulse, as instinctive as it was elegant, she reached out her hand to Garth.
"Oh, Mr. Clayton! how kind you are to me! Once or twice I was half afraid you had forgotten; and all the time you were quietly arranging it."
"Oh, Mr. Clayton! You’re so kind to me! A couple of times I was a bit worried you had forgotten; but all along, you were quietly taking care of it."
Garth was quite equal to the occasion. He looked down at the girl's radiant face, so expressive of joy and gratitude, with warm kindliness shining in his eyes. When the slim hand was stretched out to him he held it for a moment as though it had been Cathy's. "Oh, if he were only my brother!" sighed the girl to herself, with a little outburst of natural yearning as she felt the strong clasp.
Garth was more than ready for the moment. He looked down at the girl's glowing face, full of joy and gratitude, with warmth in his eyes. When her slender hand reached out to him, he held it for a moment as if it were Cathy's. "Oh, if only he were my brother!" the girl sighed to herself, feeling a surge of natural longing as she felt his strong grip.
Garth's handsome face looked almost as bright as hers. His position contented him; it was novel as well as interesting. It pleased him to throw the shield of his protection and tenderness round these young strangers, who had, in a way, appealed to his generosity. If Queenie had been old and plain he would have been just as gentle and chivalrous in his manner to her. No woman would ever have had a rough word from Garth; but a little of the zest and flavor would have been wanting.
Garth's good-looking face seemed almost as radiant as hers. He felt satisfied in his role; it was both new and engaging. He enjoyed wrapping these young strangers in his protective and caring vibe, as they had, in a sense, called on his kindness. If Queenie had been older and unattractive, he would still have treated her with the same gentleness and gallantry. No woman would ever hear anything harsh from Garth; but it wouldn't have had the same spark and excitement.
To read gratitude in a pair of wonderful brown eyes, that seem to have no bottom to their depth, and to feel a soft, girlish hand touch his own timidly, were new revelations to the young man, who was a philosopher, but no stoic. He remembered their expression long afterwards, and the peculiar feel of the fluttering fingers, with an odd sensation that tingled through him. "What a contrast she is to Dora!" he thought again.
To see gratitude reflected in a pair of beautiful brown eyes that seem to hold endless depth, and to feel a soft, delicate hand gently touch his own, was a new experience for the young man, who was a philosopher but not a stoic. He remembered their expression long after and the unique sensation of her fluttering fingers, which sent an odd tingling feeling through him. "What a contrast she is to Dora!" he thought again.
"You are very, very good to me," continued Queenie; but he interrupted her.
"You’re really, really good to me," Queenie continued; but he cut her off.
"I don't deserve half these thanks; I have done very little, after all. So you thought I had forgotten you? When you know me better," went on Garth with good-humored reproach, "you will find out that I am a man of my word. When I say I will do a thing you may be sure that if it be in my power it will be done."
"I don't deserve half of these thanks; I've done very little, after all. So you thought I had forgotten you? When you get to know me better," Garth continued with a playful reproach, "you'll see that I am a man of my word. When I say I will do something, you can be sure that if it's in my power, it will be done."
"I was not so unjust as to doubt you," returned Queenie, humbly, "only as the days went on I lost hope. I thought you had failed in persuading Mr. Logan, and did not like to tell me."
"I wasn't unfair enough to doubt you," Queenie replied gently, "but as the days passed, I started to lose hope. I thought you had failed to convince Mr. Logan and just didn’t want to tell me."
"I hope I never shrink from any duty, however unpleasant; procrastination is only for cowards. I should certainly have told you at once, Miss Marriott. But now for these miserable details," continued Garth, changing his grave tone into a lighter one. "So you will persist in thinking it a matter of congratulation that you are to be our future school-mistress?"
"I hope I never back down from any responsibility, no matter how unpleasant; putting things off is just for cowards. I should definitely have told you right away, Miss Marriott. But now, let's get into these annoying details," Garth said, shifting his serious tone to a lighter one. "So you really believe it's something to be congratulated that you’re going to be our future schoolmistress?"
"Certainly."
"Of course."
"It is not a very desirable post; indeed, it is quite beneath your acceptance. You cannot think how strongly Mr. Logan and I feel on that point. As the Vicar's churchwarden I had a right to take my own ground in the matter, and we have arranged that your future stipend shall be fifty pounds a-year. More than this is out of our power," continued Garth, stammering a little, and for the first time becoming slightly embarrassed. "There is not even a dwelling-house or lodging attached to the salary; but the Vicar wishes, that is—" corrected Garth, feeling himself on the edge of a very decided fib, and slightly daunted by the look in Queenie's eyes.
"It’s not a very appealing position; in fact, it’s quite beneath you. You can’t imagine how strongly Mr. Logan and I feel about that. As the Vicar's churchwarden, I had the right to take a stand on this, and we’ve decided that your future salary will be fifty pounds a year. We can’t offer any more than that," Garth continued, stammering a bit and for the first time looking slightly uncomfortable. "There isn’t even a house or accommodation linked to that salary; but the Vicar hopes— that is—" Garth corrected himself, sensing he was about to tell a significant lie and feeling a bit intimidated by the look in Queenie's eyes.
"You are not going to offer me more than my fair salary?" returned the girl, drawing up her head with a sudden gesture of pride he had never seen in her before, and her voice sounded clear and decided. "You told Mr. Logan, of course, that this was impossible? I will work; but I will not be beholden to him or any other man for a penny more than I have honestly earned. Forty, not fifty, pounds was the sum you named to me in the quarry."
"You’re not going to offer me more than my fair salary?" the girl replied, lifting her head with a sudden pride he had never seen before, and her voice was clear and firm. "You told Mr. Logan, right, that this was impossible? I’m willing to work, but I won’t owe him or any other man a single penny more than I’ve honestly earned. Forty, not fifty, pounds is what you told me in the quarry."
"Don't be contumacious, Miss Marriott," returned Garth, with an amused look; but on the whole he rather liked the girl's independence than otherwise; it accorded with his own notions. He had held these sentiments all his life, and it was his chief pride that he had never been beholden to his fellows for anything that he could not justly claim. "Pride, independence, were necessary adjuncts to manhood," so Garth thought; "but in a woman, perhaps, they might be made to yield under the pressure of emergency."
"Don't be stubborn, Miss Marriott," Garth replied, looking amused. Overall, he appreciated the girl's independence; it matched his own views. He had believed this all his life and took pride in never being dependent on others for anything he couldn't rightfully claim. "Pride and independence are essential aspects of manhood," Garth thought, "but in a woman, maybe they could be set aside in times of crisis."
"I will only take what belongs to me," she continued obstinately.
"I'll only take what belongs to me," she persisted stubbornly.
"Then that will be fifty pounds a-year. Listen to me, please," as she again attempted to speak. "I am the Vicar's warden, and have a right to use my authority in this affair. I have always considered that our mistresses are underpaid; I intend to fix the salary from this time at the sum I named. Mr. Logan and Captain Fawcett, our remaining trustee, agree to this; so," finished Garth, with a persuasive smile, "it is signed, sealed, and delivered, and only wants your consent."
"Then that will be fifty pounds a year. Listen to me, please," as she tried to speak again. "I am the Vicar's warden, and I have the authority to handle this. I’ve always thought that our mistresses are underpaid; I plan to set the salary from now on at the amount I mentioned. Mr. Logan and Captain Fawcett, our other trustee, agree with this; so," Garth concluded with a convincing smile, "it’s all set and just needs your approval."
Queenie bowed her head gravely, and with a little dignity. She was sharp-witted enough to see that Garth had not said all he intended, that something perilous to her pride lay folded on the edge of that fib; something that, with the kindest intentions in the world, would have wounded her susceptibility and hurt her.
Queenie lowered her head earnestly, with a touch of dignity. She was clever enough to realize that Garth hadn’t said everything he meant to; something damaging to her pride was hidden in that lie; something that, despite his best intentions, would have stung her sensitivity and caused her pain.
"Then there is nothing more to say?" rather stiffly.
"Is there nothing else to say?" he asked rather stiffly.
"Do these details weary you! They are very necessary," he returned, with a frank kindness that disarmed her at once. "If you fill this position it is better to understand everything thoroughly. You still think that, with the little you have, and the chance of giving lessons in the evening, you will be able to live upon the proceeds of so small a salary? There is your little sister remember, Miss Marriott."
"Are these details tiring you? They’re really important," he replied with a genuine kindness that put her at ease immediately. "If you're going to take this position, it’s better to understand everything completely. You still believe that with what little you have, plus the chance to give evening lessons, you can live off such a small salary? Don’t forget about your little sister, Miss Marriott."
"We have learned to do without things, and to be content with very little; it will be enough, thank you," returned the girl, quietly.
"We've learned to get by without a lot of things and to be satisfied with very little; that's all we need, thanks," the girl replied calmly.
"Then in that case I can only wish you success on your undertaking. Your duties will not be so very arduous. The hours are from nine to twelve in the morning, and from two to four in the afternoon. The school-house is a miserable sort of place, a compromise between a barn and a small dissenting chapel. You are not so fortunate as Mr. Miles; the boys' school-house is a much handsomer and more commodious building."
"Then in that case, I can only wish you luck with your endeavor. Your responsibilities won't be that difficult. The hours are from nine to twelve in the morning, and from two to four in the afternoon. The schoolhouse is a pretty shabby place, a mix between a barn and a small dissenting chapel. You're not as lucky as Mr. Miles; the boys' schoolhouse is a much nicer and more comfortable building."
"I have seen him, have I not?" asked Queenie, somewhat curiously.
"I've seen him, haven't I?" asked Queenie, a bit curious.
"Perhaps, but it is holiday time, and he always goes down to his brother in Wales. He is a very pleasant sort of fellow, though rather an oddity; is slightly lame, plays on the violin, and is an inveterate smoker. He is a man of good education, and has been usher in two or three first-class schools. He had fair hopes of rising in the world until he met with his accident. For the misanthrope he professes to be he is one of the cheeriest sort possible. He lodges over the postoffice; Mrs. Dawes thinks a great deal of him."
"Maybe, but it’s the holiday season, and he always heads down to visit his brother in Wales. He’s a really nice guy, even though he’s a bit quirky; he has a slight limp, plays the violin, and is a dedicated smoker. He’s well-educated and has been a teacher in a couple of top schools. He had hopes of making something of himself until he had his accident. For someone who claims to be a misanthrope, he’s actually one of the most cheerful people you could meet. He stays above the post office; Mrs. Dawes thinks very highly of him."
"Have you no doctor here?" inquired Queenie, with a sudden remembrance of Miss Charity.
"Is there no doctor here?" asked Queenie, suddenly remembering Miss Charity.
Garth shook his head gravely. "Ah! poor Dr. Morgan is dead; he died the week before you came. He is a loss to us all, poor old fellow! He lived in the corner house, next Mrs. Morris; and," with a smile breaking round the corners of his mouth, "remained a bachelor all his life in spite of her. But a truce to this sort of gossip; that would just suit Cathy. I have spoken to Captain Fawcett about letting Briarwood Cottage to you, and he is perfectly willing to do so. The rent is fifteen pounds a-year; but, as he justly says, it is quite unfit for human habitation at the present—the floors want mending, and there is some papering and whitewashing to be done."
Garth shook his head seriously. "Oh! Poor Dr. Morgan has passed away; he died the week before you arrived. He’s a big loss for all of us, that poor guy! He lived in the corner house, next to Mrs. Morris; and," with a smile creeping at the corners of his mouth, "he stayed a bachelor his whole life, thanks to her. But enough of that kind of gossip; that would just be perfect for Cathy. I’ve talked to Captain Fawcett about renting Briarwood Cottage to you, and he’s totally okay with it. The rent is fifteen pounds a year; but, as he correctly points out, it’s not fit for living in right now—the floors need fixing, and there’s some wallpapering and whitewashing to do."
"The cottage is really to be mine?" she exclaimed breathlessly.
"The cottage is really mine?" she exclaimed, breathless.
"It is yours from this present moment if you like, though you will not enter into legal possession for six weeks. You must put up with our society for that time. I shall take the liberty of sending Nathan over to trim the grass and weeds, unless you are particularly partial to docks, Miss Marriott."
"It’s yours starting now if you want it, but you won’t have legal possession for six weeks. You’ll have to put up with our company during that time. I’ll go ahead and send Nathan over to cut the grass and weeds, unless you have a special liking for docks, Miss Marriott."
"Thank you, you are very good; but," hesitating, and looking up in his face in some perplexity, "I shall have to go over to Carlisle, I must speak to Mr. Runciman, about the furniture, you know; we shall want very little, Emmie and I, at least, only a few chairs and a table. Do you think ten pounds will go far? one must buy a few things, but I am so ignorant of prices," cried poor Queenie, feeling all at once very helpless and womanish, and hoping that he would not laugh at her ignorance.
"Thank you, you're really kind; but," she hesitated, looking up at him with some confusion, "I need to go to Carlisle. I have to talk to Mr. Runciman about the furniture, you know. Emmie and I won't need much, at least just a few chairs and a table. Do you think ten pounds will be enough? We have to buy a few things, but I'm so clueless about prices," said poor Queenie, suddenly feeling very helpless and vulnerable, hoping he wouldn't mock her lack of knowledge.
Garth could not help feeling amused at the girl's naïveté, but he was quite ready for the emergency, having already settled it all with Langley. "If she be very independent we can manage it best in this way," he had said to his sister.
Garth couldn't help but feel amused by the girl's naïveté, but he was well-prepared for the situation, having already figured it all out with Langley. "If she's really independent, we can handle it best this way," he had told his sister.
"One must have chairs and tables; well, and a few other things. There must be blankets for winter, and cooking utensils," continued Garth, with charming frankness. "Langley knows better than I about such matters, and by-and-bye we will get her to draw up a list. Langley has a splendid head for details. There is a second-hand lot of things going off in a few days' time; you can leave Langley and me to manage it."
"One needs chairs and tables, plus a few other essentials. We need blankets for winter and cooking utensils," Garth said, speaking openly. "Langley knows more about this than I do, and soon we'll have her put together a list. Langley is great with details. There's a second-hand sale happening in a few days; you can count on Langley and me to take care of it."
"Yes; but the money; there will only be about ten or twelve pounds that Miss Titheridge sent me back at the last. She said she owed it to us, but it was only her conscience that pricked her, I know."
"Yeah, but the money; there’s only around ten or twelve pounds that Miss Titheridge sent back to me last time. She said she owed it to us, but I know it was just her conscience bothering her."
"You must keep that for present expenses, as you cannot draw your salary beforehand," he returned promptly. "I will tell you what we will do: Langley shall invest in these few articles for you,—we shall pick them up cheaply, you know,—and you shall repay her by instalments, just a small sum quarterly as you can spare it. Langley shall have a regular debtor and creditor account. Nothing need offend your independence, Miss Marriott."
"You need to save that for current expenses since you can't access your salary ahead of time," he replied quickly. "Here’s the plan: Langley will buy these items for you—we’ll find them at a good price, you see—and you can pay her back in installments, just a small amount every few months as you can afford it. Langley will keep a detailed account of what you owe. Nothing has to compromise your independence, Miss Marriott."
"No; but it is too kind, much, much too kind," she returned, hesitating. "And how do I know when I may be able to repay it?"
"No; but that's way too generous, really, really too generous," she replied, hesitating. "And how will I know when I can pay you back?"
"In two years' time at the farthest," he returned cheerfully. "I only look upon it as a safe investment for Langley's money."
"In two years at the most," he replied happily. "I see it just as a secure investment for Langley's money."
"Owe no man anything, but to love one another," suddenly came into Queenie's mind. Was she fastening a load of debt round her neck? would she ever be able to pay it back? was not this another kindly ruse to afford her help?
"Owe no one anything, except to love one another," suddenly popped into Queenie's mind. Was she tying a burden of debt around her neck? Would she ever be able to pay it off? Wasn’t this just another kind gesture to offer her support?
She looked up quickly, almost suspiciously, but the grey eyes that watched her were honest and straightforward. He would not press benefits on her that he felt would be repugnant. No; she was sure of that.
She glanced up quickly, almost suspiciously, but the grey eyes gazing at her were genuine and sincere. He wouldn’t impose benefits on her that he thought would be unappealing. No; she was certain of that.
Garth answered her unspoken thought, flushing slightly, as though her mute appeal touched him.
Garth responded to her unspoken thought, blushing a bit, as if her silent plea affected him.
"I am sure you will be able to repay us; we will do all in our power to help you to do so." Then, after a moment's hesitation: "I feel just as you do about these sort of things. I like to help myself, and not to be dependent on other people. Believe me, Miss Marriott, I think far too highly of your independence, and respect you too much to offer you any help that you could not accept."
"I’m sure you’ll be able to pay us back; we’ll do everything we can to help you do that." After a brief pause, he continued, "I feel the same way you do about these things. I prefer to help myself rather than rely on others. Believe me, Miss Marriott, I have a great deal of respect for your independence, and I think too highly of you to offer any help that you wouldn’t be able to accept."
"Then I will trust you," returned Queenie in a low tone. She spoke upon impulse. It cost her a momentary pang, as though she felt some cold weight suddenly settling down on her; and after all, what could she do? Caleb could not help them, at least not much. Emmie and she could not dwell between four bare walls. What was there for her but to accept the kindly advance so gracefully hidden under Langley's name—Langley and Cathy, who had not a six-pence of their own, as Cathy once somewhat triumphantly informed her? "It is Garth who buys everything for us, dear old fellow, and pays all our bills, after grumbling over them," she said once.
"Then I will trust you," Queenie said quietly. She spoke on impulse. It caused her a brief moment of discomfort, as if she felt some cold weight suddenly pressing down on her; and after all, what could she do? Caleb couldn't really help them, at least not much. Emmie and she couldn't live within four bare walls. What else could she do but accept the kind offer disguised under Langley's name—Langley and Cathy, who didn’t have a penny to their name, as Cathy once somewhat proudly told her? "It's Garth who buys everything for us, dear old guy, and pays all our bills, after complaining about them," she said once.
"I assure you, you will never repent the trust," he answered, so gravely that Queenie feared he was hurt by her reluctance, until the old bright smile came back to re-assure her. "Then this grand matter is settled, and we will go and talk to Langley."
"I promise you, you won't regret trusting me," he replied, sounding so serious that Queenie worried he was upset by her hesitation, until his familiar bright smile returned to comfort her. "So, this big decision is made, and we will go and speak with Langley."
Emmie was almost wild with joy when she heard the news. The sensitive little creature burst into a perfect passion of tears, as she clung to her sister's neck, trembling with such excitement that Queenie was frightened.
Emmie was nearly beside herself with joy when she heard the news. The sensitive little being broke into a wave of tears as she hugged her sister tight, trembling with excitement so much that Queenie felt scared.
"Oh, Queenie, is it really, really true that we are going to live in that little cottage, you and I together, like the sisters in story books?" she exclaimed over and over again.
"Oh, Queenie, is it really, really true that we are going to live in that little cottage, you and I together, like the sisters in storybooks?" she exclaimed repeatedly.
"Yes, yes; once upon a time there were two sisters—one of them was handsome and the other ugly," interrupted Cathy briskly.
"Yeah, yeah; once upon a time there were two sisters—one was beautiful and the other was not," interrupted Cathy quickly.
"The handsome one was my Queen then, she drops diamonds and roses every time she speaks; I am the little ugly duckling they called me at Miss Titheridge's."
"The handsome one was my Queen back then; she drops diamonds and roses every time she talks. I’m the little ugly duckling they called me at Miss Titheridge's."
"Nonsense," returned Cathy abruptly, kissing the little pale face, as she spoke somewhat hurriedly. There was still a weird, unchildlike look about Emmie—the blue eyes were still too bright and large, the cheeks too thin and hollow, but the little rings of yellow hair were beginning to curl prettily over the temples. "Remember the ugly duckling turned into the beautiful swan at last."
"Nonsense," Cathy replied quickly, kissing the little pale face as she spoke a bit hurriedly. There was still a strange, unchildlike look about Emmie—the blue eyes were still too bright and large, the cheeks too thin and hollow, but the little curls of yellow hair were starting to look pretty over her temples. "Remember, the ugly duckling turned into a beautiful swan in the end."
"Oh, I don't want beauty; Queenie is welcome to it all. I shall have it some day in heaven, there is no ugliness there you know," moralized the child in her strange old-fashioned way. A sudden mist rose to her sister's eyes as she spoke, the graceful fancies of the old fairy tale dissolved, and in its place came an overwhelming vision of a white-robed multitude, beatific with youth, and endowed with angelic beauty.
"Oh, I don't want beauty; Queenie can have it all. I'll have it someday in heaven; there's no ugliness there, you know," the child said in her oddly old-fashioned way. A sudden mist filled her sister's eyes as she spoke, the lovely ideas of the old fairy tale fading away, and in their place came a stunning vision of a white-robed crowd, blissful with youth and blessed with angelic beauty.
There is no ugliness there; no, little Emmie, no ugliness because no sin, no weariness of a diseased and worn-out body, no gloom of an over-tempted and troubled mind; for in the new heavens and the new earth God will see that everything there also is good.
There is no ugliness there; no, little Emmie, no ugliness because there’s no sin, no fatigue of a sick and tired body, no heaviness of an over-tempted and troubled mind; for in the new heavens and the new earth, God will ensure that everything there is also good.
They were sitting together on the low window-seat of the room that the sisters occupied; and Cathy had come in, with her long black hair floating over her shoulders, to chat over her friend's new prospect. It was one of those quiet, calm summer nights, when a "peace be still" seems whispered to God's universe; a white crescent moon hung in the dark blue sky, bright facets of gold glimmered here and there, the dark sycamores hardly stirred in the faint breeze, the tombstones shone in the pure white light; below them the church stood in dark shadow.
They were sitting together on the low window seat of the room the sisters shared, and Cathy had come in, her long black hair flowing over her shoulders, to chat about her friend's new opportunity. It was one of those quiet, calm summer nights when a sense of peace seems to whisper to the universe; a white crescent moon hung in the dark blue sky, bright spots of gold shimmered here and there, the dark sycamores barely moved in the gentle breeze, and the tombstones glowed in the bright white light; below them, the church stood in shadow.
"I like this better than our old garret," whispered Emmie. "I am so fond of that churchyard, Cathy; I like it better than Mrs. Fawcett's garden. I like to lie in bed and think of the real people who are buried there, and wonder what they were like when they walked and talked as we are doing. The world seems so full of dead and living people somehow."
"I like this better than our old attic," whispered Emmie. "I'm really fond of that churchyard, Cathy; I like it more than Mrs. Fawcett's garden. I enjoy lying in bed and thinking about the real people buried there, and wondering what they were like when they walked and talked just like we are. The world feels so full of both dead and living people somehow."
"Talking of churchyards always makes me shiver," returned Cathy, exchanging a meaning glance with her friend. Emmie was not always quite canny, she thought. "I would rather talk about Queenie's new cottage, and all the fun we mean to have there. I shall come to tea nearly every night, and in the winter you and I will toast muffins, Emmie, and roast chestnuts. I think I must give you one of my Persian kittens, since you have left yours at Carlisle; no cottage is complete without a cat on the hearth."
"Talking about graveyards always gives me chills," Cathy said, sharing a meaningful look with her friend. Emmie wasn’t always very perceptive, she thought. "I’d rather chat about Queenie’s new cottage and all the fun we’re going to have there. I’ll come over for tea almost every night, and in the winter, you and I will toast muffins, Emmie, and roast chestnuts. I think I should give you one of my Persian kittens since you left yours at Carlisle; no cottage feels complete without a cat on the hearth."
"But, Cathy," remonstrated her friend, "I am afraid there will be little time for fun of any sort. There will be French lessons to give on two or three evenings in the week; and by-and-bye there will be Emmie to teach, and our clothes to mend, and then, as we can only afford a girl to clean up and do the rough work, I shall have to teach myself cooking. And, oh dear, the day will never be long enough for all I shall have to do," sighed poor Queenie, all at once oppressed by a sense of her future work.
"But, Cathy," her friend protested, "I'm afraid there won't be much time for fun at all. I have French lessons to teach two or three evenings a week, plus soon I'll need to teach Emmie, mend our clothes, and since we can only afford to hire someone for cleaning and heavy work, I'll have to learn to cook on my own. Oh dear, the day will never be long enough for everything I have to do," sighed poor Queenie, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the thought of all her future responsibilities.
"Do you suppose that I shall sit down with folded hands and see you slave yourself to death in that fashion?" returned Cathy in an aggrieved voice, "is that your notion of friendship, you disagreeable old Queen? You will have teaching enough with the village children and Mrs. Morris's seven little hopes; you may make up your mind just to leave Emmie to me."
"Do you really think I’m going to just sit back and watch you work yourself to death like that?" Cathy said in an annoyed tone. "Is that what you think friendship is, you unpleasant old Queen? You’ll have plenty to teach with the village kids and Mrs. Morris's seven little ones; you can just decide to leave Emmie to me."
"But that is nonsense. What would Langley say to such a proposal?"
"But that's ridiculous. What would Langley think of such a suggestion?"
"Langley is charmed at the notion; we settled it between us this morning. Emmie is to come and do her lessons with me every morning, and her music with Langley. I shall make a first-rate governess, my dear Madam Dignity; and," mimicking Langley's soft serious voice, "think what a grand thing it will be not to let my acquirements rust, but to turn them to solid account!" Then with a burst of her old vivacity, "think what a blessing you and Emmie will be to me! you will give me occupation, and prevent my dying of ennui in this mill-pond of existence, as Ted calls it."
"Langley is thrilled about the idea; we decided this morning. Emmie will come and do her lessons with me every morning, and her music with Langley. I'm going to be an excellent governess, my dear Madam Dignity; and," mimicking Langley's soft serious voice, "just think how great it will be not to let my skills go to waste, but to put them to good use!" Then with a burst of her old energy, "think about how much of a blessing you and Emmie will be for me! You’ll give me something to do and stop me from dying of boredom in this stagnant life, as Ted puts it."
Queenie's eyes looked unutterable things, but she only said, "Oh Cathy, Cathy, how can I ever repay all your goodness?"
Queenie's eyes expressed so much, but she simply said, "Oh Cathy, Cathy, how can I ever repay all your kindness?"
"Goodness to myself, you mean. I will tell you what we will do, Queen: we will coax Langley to let us go into the kitchen and take regular lessons from Susan; it will be rather hot work this weather, but we will go through the furnace of affliction together. You are beginning house-keeping on rather a small scale, my poor dear; but to live we must eat, and to eat I fear we require a certain amount of ingredients, concerning the price and the cooking of which I fear we are profoundly ignorant."
"Goodness to myself, you mean. I’ll tell you what we’ll do, Queen: we’ll convince Langley to let us go into the kitchen and take lessons from Susan; it’s going to be pretty hot work in this weather, but we’ll get through the struggle together. You’re starting your house-keeping on a pretty small scale, my poor dear; but to live we need to eat, and to eat, I’m afraid we need a certain amount of ingredients, about which I worry we know very little regarding price and cooking."
"Yes, indeed," returned her friend ruefully, "This must be rectified at once. What a blessing you are to me. I was sighing for new worlds to conquer, and now frying-pans and mending open a new scope for my feminine talents. How I used to envy those Israelitish women when I was at school."
"Yes, definitely," her friend replied with a hint of regret, "This needs to be fixed right away. What a blessing you are to me. I was longing for new worlds to conquer, and now cooking and mending are opening up new opportunities for my talents. I used to envy those Israelite women when I was in school."
"You used to be very cross on darning afternoons," put in Emmie.
"You used to get really angry during darning afternoons," Emmie chimed in.
"I am afraid I was. Think of one's clothes never wearing out for forty years! it was enough to reconcile them to the wilderness. I should not be surprised if I rather liked it now. Suppose we take lessons in patching from Miss Faith?"
"I guess I was. Imagine clothes not wearing out for forty years! It was enough to make them accept the wild. I wouldn't be surprised if I actually liked it now. How about we take patching lessons from Miss Faith?"
"I must help too," broke in the child eagerly. "I can mend quite neatly now, Cathy; and I will weed the garden, and grow radishes, and mustard, and cress, and sweep up the hearth, and put on the kettle for Queenie when she comes home tired. Oh I wish Caleb and Molly would come and live with us, and that we could all be happy together."
"I want to help too," the child chimed in eagerly. "I can sew pretty well now, Cathy; and I will weed the garden, plant radishes, mustard, and cress, sweep the hearth, and put the kettle on for Queenie when she comes home tired. Oh, I wish Caleb and Molly would come live with us so we could all be happy together."
"Caleb would not like to leave Carlisle, or Molly either; you must be content with me, and only me."
"Caleb wouldn’t want to leave Carlisle, or Molly either; you have to be satisfied with me, and just me."
"My dears," interrupted Langley's quiet voice from the door, "it is past eleven, and these night dews are not wholesome for the child; let me beg you to close the window, and leave off talking;" and thus admonished, the little party broke up somewhat hurriedly.
"My dears," interrupted Langley's gentle voice from the door, "it's past eleven, and these night dews aren't good for the child; please close the window and stop talking." With that reminder, the small gathering broke up a bit hurriedly.
Queenie had interviews with Mr. Logan and Captain Fawcett the next day.
Queenie had meetings with Mr. Logan and Captain Fawcett the next day.
"Well, Miss Marriott, so you are to be my tenant for Briarwood cottage," he said, stopping to speak to her, as they encountered each other in the lane. "My wife was so glad to get the little lassie for a neighbor, that you might almost have made your own terms with us."
"Well, Miss Marriott, so you’re going to be my tenant for Briarwood cottage," he said, pausing to talk to her as they crossed paths in the lane. "My wife was so happy to have the little girl as a neighbor that you could have practically set your own terms with us."
"You are very kind not to put difficulties in my way. The rent is so small that I thought we could afford it. It will be quieter than lodgings, and more to ourselves; but it sounds rather ambitious, a home of our own," returned the girl, with a little thrill of excitement. Poor as it was it would be home.
"You’re really kind not to create any obstacles for me. The rent is so low that I thought we could manage it. It’ll be quieter than staying in a lodging, and we’ll have more privacy; but it sounds a bit ambitious, having a home of our own," the girl replied, feeling a rush of excitement. Even if it’s humble, it would still be home.
"Suppose we go and have a look at it," proposed Captain Fawcett in his curt, business-like way. "It is in miserable need of repairs, I know; that last tenant of mine let it go to rack and ruin. I will go over to Hargrave's and get the key. Oh, there's the Vicar crossing over to speak to you; I can safely leave him with you a minute."
"How about we go check it out?" suggested Captain Fawcett in his blunt, no-nonsense manner. "It's in terrible condition, I know; that last tenant really let it fall apart. I'll head over to Hargrave's and grab the key. Oh, there's the Vicar coming over to talk to you; I can trust you to handle him for a minute."
"I must shake hands with my new school-mistress," said Mr. Logan, beaming on her through his spectacles. "So you have talked us all over, and got your own way; well, well, everything is for the best, of course; but to have a young lady, a clergyman's daughter too, teaching in that crazy little building yonder is a strange sight to me."
"I have to shake hands with my new teacher," said Mr. Logan, smiling at her through his glasses. "So you’ve talked to everyone and got your way; well, well, everything happens for a reason, of course; but having a young woman, a clergyman's daughter no less, teaching in that odd little building over there is a strange sight to me."
"I shall not be above my work; you will have no reason to repent your decision," returned the girl firmly, but modestly.
"I won't think I'm better than my work; you won't regret your decision," the girl replied confidently, yet humbly.
"Well said, my dear young lady, 'who sweeps a room.' You know what our excellent Herbert says, 'It is the motive that ennobles the work.' I am glad to see you remember that."
"Well said, my dear young lady, 'who sweeps a room.' You know what our wonderful Herbert says, 'It's the motive that elevates the work.' I'm happy to see you remember that."
"I mean my work to ennoble me," replied Queenie, her face glowing with the thought. "It does not matter that the building is poor, and the children some of them rough and uncultivated; it is a grand work to teach young minds, and to watch their progress, and get interested in their lives. It may tire one a little at times," she continued candidly, "but it is not mere drudgery and nothing else. Oh, Mr. Logan, say you are pleased to have me; it will give me heart and courage to hear you say so."
"I want my work to elevate me," replied Queenie, her face lighting up with the thought. "It doesn't matter that the building is modest, and some of the children are rough and unpolished; it's a noble thing to teach young minds, to see how they grow, and to become involved in their lives. It can be a bit tiring at times," she continued honestly, "but it's not just hard work and nothing more. Oh, Mr. Logan, please say you're happy to have me here; it would give me the motivation and confidence to hear you say that."
"Pleased! I am more glad than I can say," returned the Vicar, with a look that Queenie did not quite read, but which touched her greatly, it was at once so keen and gentle. "God bless both the work and worker. Oh, here comes the Captain; perhaps when you have looked over your new abode you may like to see the inside of the school-house?"
"Pleased! I’m happier than I can express," said the Vicar, with a look that Queenie couldn't fully understand, but it affected her deeply; it was both sharp and kind at the same time. "God bless both the work and the worker. Oh, here comes the Captain; maybe after you check out your new place, you’d like to see the inside of the schoolhouse?"
"We will all walk down together," interposed the Captain. "Come along, Miss Marriott; don't keep the Vicar waiting."
"We'll all walk down together," the Captain said. "Come on, Miss Marriott; don’t keep the Vicar waiting."
Queenie followed the two gentlemen silently. A strange sensation woke in her as she crossed the threshold. She had closed the first chapter of her existence. Here was a new life waiting for her to take up; it would be lived out underneath this humble roof. The past lay shrouded away, hidden like a dead hand out of sight. What would the future hold for her and Emmie?
Queenie quietly followed the two men. A strange feeling awakened in her as she stepped through the door. She had closed the first chapter of her life. A new life was waiting for her to embrace; it would unfold beneath this modest roof. The past was buried away, hidden like a lifeless hand out of sight. What would the future bring for her and Emmie?
She followed them silently from room to room, as Captain Fawcett made his brief, business-like comments. The damp oozed from the corners, long lengths of soiled paper trailed from the walls, the boards creaked under their foot-fall, the scurry of tiny feet and the squeak of mice sounded behind the wainscot, docks and nettles peeped in at the begrimed windows. Queenie shivered slightly.
She quietly followed them from room to room as Captain Fawcett made his short, matter-of-fact remarks. The dampness seeped from the corners, long strips of dirty paper hung from the walls, the floorboards creaked under their footsteps, the sound of little feet and the squeaking of mice echoed behind the paneling, and docks and nettles peeked in through the grimy windows. Queenie shivered a bit.
"We will alter all this," exclaimed Captain Fawcett, turning briskly round on her, and pulling at his grey moustache. "This damp mouldiness is enough to make any one shiver; a little paint and a few coats of white-wash, and a fresh paper or two, will make a different thing of it."
"We'll change all of this," Captain Fawcett said, turning quickly to her and tugging at his gray mustache. "This damp mold is enough to make anyone shiver; a little paint, a few coats of whitewash, and a couple of fresh papers will make a big difference."
"I was not thinking of the damp," returned Queenie in a low voice; and then she went and stood by herself at the window, looking up the ridge of ragged grass that lay like a steep little wilderness behind the house. It was the newness and the strangeness of her surroundings that oppressed her. "To have a house of one's own, that is the strangest part of all," she thought.
"I wasn't thinking about the damp," Queenie said quietly, and then she moved to stand by the window, gazing up at the patch of rough grass that looked like a small wild area behind the house. It was the unfamiliarity and oddness of her surroundings that weighed heavily on her. "Having a house of my own, that's the weirdest part of all," she thought.
She was still silent as she walked down the village street. One or two of the women at the cottage doors stood and looked after them curiously; but at the sight of the quaint edifice, with its half-moon windows, Queenie's youthful energy revived.
She remained quiet as she strolled down the village street. A couple of women at the cottage doors stood and watched them with curiosity; but when she spotted the charming building with its half-moon windows, Queenie's youthful energy came back to life.
She walked in, head erect, as the gentlemen made way for her, and stood before the old wooden desks, and looked at the half-dozen forms before her. It was a small square room, well, but not cheerfully, lighted; the windows set so high in the walls that no signs of the outer world could distract the attention of the little students.
She walked in with her head held high as the gentlemen stepped aside for her. She stood in front of the old wooden desks and looked at the half-dozen forms in front of her. It was a small square room, adequately lit but not brightly; the windows were set so high in the walls that no signs of the outside world could distract the little students.
"This small inner room is for the infants," explained Mr. Logan, coming round to her side; "it is a very humble affair, you see."
"This small inner room is for the babies," Mr. Logan said as he moved to her side; "it's a pretty simple setup, as you can see."
"Yes; but it is my work," returned Queenie, facing round on them with a quiver of excitement. "My work, and my life, and no other's, and I mean to do the best with both of them that I can."
"Yes, but this is my work," Queenie replied, turning to face them with a thrill of excitement. "It's my work, my life, and no one else's, and I'm going to do my best with both."
Some one stooping his high head at the door cried softly "Amen" to himself.
Someone bent down and softly whispered "Amen" to himself at the door.
It was Garth Clayton.
It was Garth Clayton.
CHAPTER II.
DORA.
"Woman-kind,
Whom all men ought, both young and old, defend with all their
might;
Considering what they do deserve of every living wight."
More.
"Woman-kind,
Whom all men, young and old, should defend with all their
might;
Considering what they deserve from every living being."
More.
The next week or two passed pleasantly and quickly. The girls adhered rigidly to their course of self-improvement, despite the temptation afforded by summer days. During the fresh morning hours they remained closely shut up in kitchen or pantry, busied in all sorts of mysteries connected with the culinary art, appearing at the early dinner with flushed tired faces and slightly dishevelled hair. All sorts of telegraphic communications passed between them and Langley. Garth, who was not in the secret, and who was a somewhat fastidious as well as abstemious man, was a little perplexed by Susan's vagaries, as he termed them.
The next week or two flew by pleasantly. The girls stuck diligently to their self-improvement goals, even with the distractions of summer days. In the fresh morning hours, they stayed tightly confined in the kitchen or pantry, busy with all sorts of culinary mysteries, showing up for early dinner with flushed, tired faces and a bit of messy hair. They exchanged all kinds of quick messages with Langley. Garth, who wasn’t in on the secret and was somewhat picky as well as temperate, found Susan's odd behaviors, as he called them, a little puzzling.
"What has come to the woman, Langley?" he would say. "She has always been the best bread-maker in Hepshaw, but this last batch is almost uneatable, it is so heavy and sad. Her pies last night were disgraceful, and now this joint is under-done."
"What happened to the woman, Langley?" he would say. "She’s always been the best bread-maker in Hepshaw, but this last batch is almost inedible; it’s so heavy and disappointing. Her pies last night were terrible, and now this meat is undercooked."
"I will speak to her," Langley would answer, quietly, while the girls interchanged looks of confusion and dismay. Queenie's discomfiture and disappointment were too obvious one day to escape notice. Garth, who was really annoyed, and had been complaining in no very measured terms, caught sight of the girl's crimsoned face, and at once held his peace. But the next day he marched into the kitchen, and found Susan and her coadjutors at work.
"I'll talk to her," Langley would reply quietly as the girls exchanged confused and worried glances. Queenie's discomfort and disappointment were so clear one day that they couldn't be missed. Garth, who was genuinely annoyed and had been venting his frustrations quite openly, noticed the girl's flushed face and immediately fell silent. But the next day, he strode into the kitchen and found Susan and her helpers busy at work.
It was really a picturesque sight. The girls had rolled up their sleeves in imitation of Susan, and the round dimpled arms were very white and pretty; the coarse bib-aprons could not disguise the slim figures. Cathy had tied a handkerchief over her dark hair; she looked like a young Zingara as she walked across the kitchen, flourishing her basting-ladle; she was stirring some savory mess in a great iron pot. "Far over hill and dale freely we roam," sang Cathy. "Queen, I am sure this will be a success, it smells so good."
It was truly a beautiful sight. The girls had rolled up their sleeves like Susan, and their round, dimpled arms were really fair and lovely; the rough bib aprons couldn’t hide their slim figures. Cathy had tied a handkerchief over her dark hair; she looked like a young gypsy as she walked across the kitchen, waving her basting spoon; she was stirring some delicious mixture in a big iron pot. "Far over hill and dale freely we roam," sang Cathy. "Queen, I’m sure this will be a hit, it smells amazing."
"Hush! here comes your brother," ejaculated Queenie. The smooth rolling-pin slipped out of her hand; the sunshine streamed through the window on the red brick floor, and the white table heaped up with ripe fruit, with great golden plums and clusters of red cherries. One level beam had touched the girl's brown hair with gold; her coarse apron enveloped her. She looked like Cinderella before her pumpkin chariot arrived.
"Hush! Here comes your brother," exclaimed Queenie. The smooth rolling pin slipped out of her hand; sunlight streamed through the window onto the red brick floor and the white table piled high with ripe fruit, including big golden plums and clusters of red cherries. One beam of light had touched the girl's brown hair, giving it a golden sheen; her coarse apron enveloped her. She looked like Cinderella before her pumpkin chariot arrived.
"So I have two new cooks, have I?" laughed Garth, as he lounged against the doorway. What a pretty picture it was—the low dark kitchen never looked so inviting before. He made Cathy bring him some cider, and then helped himself to some of Queenie's fruit. Queenie picked him out the juiciest plums with her long white fingers; they had quite a little feast together, the girls waiting on him. Before he went away Queenie had finished rolling out her dough; the tarts were all in the oven before Susan's testy hints were taken, and she had her kitchen to herself.
"So I have two new cooks, do I?" laughed Garth as he leaned against the doorway. What a beautiful scene it was—the low, dark kitchen had never looked so inviting before. He had Cathy bring him some cider, then helped himself to some of Queenie's fruit. Queenie chose the juiciest plums for him with her long white fingers; they had quite a little feast together, with the girls serving him. Before he left, Queenie finished rolling out her dough; the tarts were all in the oven before Susan's impatient hints were taken, and she finally had her kitchen to herself.
In the afternoons they sat over their work with Langley in some shady corner of the garden. Sometimes, but not often, Miss Faith joined them.
In the afternoons, they gathered in a shady spot of the garden with Langley to work. Occasionally, but not frequently, Miss Faith would join them.
"Cara does not want me, and so I have come up for an hour," she would say. Her quiet eyes would brighten, and a tinge of color would come into her face, at the sight of the little party gathered on the lawn. Sometimes Garth would be there, stretched on the crisp short grass at Langley's feet, with his paper or his book beside him. He always started up, well-pleased, at the sight of his favorite.
"Cara doesn’t want me, so I came up for an hour," she would say. Her quiet eyes would light up, and a flush would appear on her face when she saw the small group gathered on the lawn. Sometimes Garth would be there, lying on the fresh short grass at Langley's feet, with his newspaper or book next to him. He would always sit up, pleased, when he saw his favorite.
"Miss Charity cannot always have you; other people want you too," he would say, as he brought out another low basket-work chair, and gathered her a rose or two, for Miss Faith had a passion for flowers. Garth dealt in these chivalrous little attentions; it pleased him to tender these sort of offerings to the women he delighted to honor. "You are my patron saint," he would say to her, as he laid the flowers beside her. "Faith is very necessary to us all, but you never seem to remember that," with almost an affectionate intonation in his voice.
"Miss Charity can't always have you; other people want you too," he would say, as he pulled out another low, woven chair and picked her a rose or two, since Miss Faith had a love for flowers. Garth enjoyed these chivalrous little gestures; it made him happy to offer these kinds of tokens to the women he loved to honor. "You are my patron saint," he would say to her, as he set the flowers beside her. "Faith is really important to all of us, but you never seem to remember that," he said, his voice almost affectionate.
"I am only necessary to Cara," she would answer sadly. She took Garth's little speeches, his flowers, his kind looks, as simply as they were offered. To the quiet woman of thirty-five, who had no life of her own to live, and who had laid her own shadowy hopes, her unspoken desires, on the shrine of stern duty, there was nothing suspicious or incongruous in Garth's devotion; he liked her, and she was fond of him. Any other thought would have been impossible to either of them.
"I’m only important to Cara," she would reply sadly. She accepted Garth's little speeches, his flowers, and his kind looks just as they were given. For the quiet woman of thirty-five, who had no life of her own to live and who had placed her own vague hopes and unspoken desires on the altar of strict responsibility, there was nothing suspicious or odd about Garth's devotion; he liked her, and she cared for him. Any other thought would have been unthinkable for either of them.
Cathy once hinted at this.
Cathy hinted at this before.
"Garth cares for Miss Faith more than for any other woman; he always has," she said once to Queenie. "I used to wonder, long ago, whether anything else would ever come of it. Men do care for women who are older than themselves sometimes, and though she was never pretty she has such a dear face; but I see now that such a thought would never occur to either of them."
"Garth cares for Miss Faith more than for any other woman; he always has," she said once to Queenie. "I used to wonder, long ago, if anything else would ever come of it. Sometimes men do care for women who are older than they are, and even though she was never pretty, she has such a lovely face; but I see now that such a thought would never cross either of their minds."
"Of course not," interrupted her friend, indignantly. "Miss Faith is very nice, but she is old for her age. You see, youth has been crushed out of her. She would make a nice Sister of Charity; the dress would just suit her. I like her pale creamy complexion; but she is far, far too old for your brother," finished Queenie, to whom the idea was somehow repugnant. Miss Faith, with her soft plaintive voice and little close bonnet, beside the strong vigorous man, still in the glory of his youth! Queenie's ideas were very vague on the subject, but she thought the woman that Garth Clayton honored with his preference ought to be very nice indeed.
"Of course not," her friend interrupted, indignantly. "Miss Faith is nice, but she's way too old for her age. You see, youth has been drained out of her. She would make a perfect Sister of Charity; the outfit would suit her perfectly. I like her pale, creamy skin; but she is way, way too old for your brother," Queenie finished, feeling somehow disgusted by the idea. Miss Faith, with her soft, plaintive voice and little close bonnet, next to the strong, energetic man, still in the prime of his youth! Queenie's thoughts on the topic were pretty vague, but she believed the woman Garth Clayton chose should be truly charming.
"Are you nearly through D'Aubigné's 'Reformation,' Miss Faith?" Cathy would ask her, a little wickedly, on these occasions. Miss Faith would answer her quite seriously; she did not perfectly comprehend a joke. Poor woman, the little pleasantries of life, the fun and drollery of young wits, were almost unknown to her.
"Are you almost done with D'Aubigné's 'Reformation,' Miss Faith?" Cathy would ask her, a bit mischievously, during these moments. Miss Faith would respond very seriously; she didn't quite get a joke. Poor woman, the little joys of life, the humor and antics of young minds, were mostly unfamiliar to her.
"We are still in the third volume," she would sigh; "it is hard reading for summer days, but it suits Cara. Hope quite enjoys it too, but it is a treat to sit out here and listen to the birds, and do nothing but work and talk. I think I almost dislike books, though I should not like Cara to hear me; but then I never was clever."
"We're still in the third volume," she would sigh; "it's tough reading for summer days, but it works for Cara. Hope enjoys it too, but it's such a joy to sit out here and listen to the birds, just doing nothing but working and chatting. I think I almost dislike books, though I wouldn't want Cara to hear me say that; but then again, I've never been very smart."
"I think you would like the interesting sort," returned Langley simply. "Do you remember how much you cared for the volume of Jean Ingelow's poems that I lent you? you told me you cried over the 'Song of Seven.'"
"I think you would like the interesting kind," Langley replied casually. "Do you remember how much you liked the collection of Jean Ingelow's poems that I lent you? You told me you cried over the 'Song of Seven.'"
"Oh yes, I love poetry," brightening visibly; "but I could not make Cara interested in it in the least; she calls it moonshine and milk and water."
"Oh yeah, I love poetry," she said, clearly excited; "but I couldn't get Cara interested in it at all; she calls it nonsense and bland."
"That comes of having a strong-minded woman for a sister," interrupted Cathy, who never liked to be long silent.
"That's what you get for having a strong-willed sister," interrupted Cathy, who never liked to stay quiet for long.
"My dear, Cara is very strong-minded; she is always talking about my having no mental backbone. She says if we do not exercise our mind, drill it thoroughly, and put it through a course of mental calisthenics, that we shall never keep it in a healthy condition. She thinks it a waste of time to read novels, unless they are Sir Walter Scott's or Miss Austin's. I know it is very bad taste, but I never could admire Miss Austin."
"My dear, Cara is very strong-willed; she always tells me that I have no mental strength. She says that if we don't challenge our minds, train them rigorously, and put them through a mental workout, we'll never keep them healthy. She considers reading novels a waste of time unless they're by Sir Walter Scott or Jane Austen. I know it’s not fashionable, but I've never been able to appreciate Jane Austen."
"But you enjoyed 'Dombey and Son,'" interposed Garth, who abhorred strong-minded women, and could not tolerate Miss Charity; hearing her opinions quoted even upset his equanimity. "Never mind what Cara likes; we are each bound to have our own individual taste. If Langley likes pickles better than strawberry jam she has no right to prevent Cathy from feasting on the latter dainty. I hate rules and regulations for grown-up people; it is just as though we want to bring back the swaddling clothes of infancy."
"But you liked 'Dombey and Son,'" Garth chimed in, who disliked strong-minded women and couldn't stand Miss Charity; just hearing her opinions made him uneasy. "Forget what Cara likes; everyone is entitled to their own taste. If Langley prefers pickles over strawberry jam, she shouldn't stop Cathy from enjoying the latter. I hate rules and restrictions for adults; it's like we're trying to bring back the baby clothes of childhood."
"I am afraid I am not fond of rules, and I do like poetry and novels," returned Miss Faith timidly. Here amongst these young people she felt a different creature; their ideas were as fresh and sweet to her as Garth's roses that she had fastened in her belt. "I must go now; but you have done me so much good, you always do," she said presently as she rose. Garth pleaded hard that she would stay, but she only shook her head at him wistfully.
"I’m afraid I’m not a fan of rules, and I do enjoy poetry and novels," Miss Faith replied shyly. Among these young people, she felt like a different person; their ideas were as refreshing and lovely to her as the roses from Garth that she had pinned in her belt. "I have to go now, but you’ve helped me a lot, you always do," she said after a moment as she stood up. Garth urged her to stay, but she just shook her head at him sadly.
"No, don't tempt me; Cara would be disappointed when she woke up from her afternoon nap if she found I had not returned; it is not nice to disappoint people, and then her pain might come on again."
"No, don’t tempt me; Cara would be really let down when she wakes up from her afternoon nap if she sees I haven’t come back; it’s not cool to disappoint people, and then her pain might flare up again."
"At least you might promise to drive over with us to Crossgill to-morrow; we are going to introduce Miss Marriott to the Cunninghams. Langley cannot go, and there will be a spare place in the waggonette." But Miss Faith would not promise. Two afternoons of pleasure would be unheard-of dissipation; she would never hear the last of it; and what would Cara do without her reading?
"At least you could promise to come with us to Crossgill tomorrow; we’re going to introduce Miss Marriott to the Cunninghams. Langley can’t go, so there’ll be an extra spot in the wagonette." But Miss Faith wouldn’t promise. Two afternoons of fun would be outrageous; she’d never hear the end of it; and what would Cara do without her reading?
"As though we cared about that," muttered Garth, sotto voce; and then, as he returned from unlatching the little side gate, he paused a moment by Queenie. "There goes one of life's unsolved enigmas—a good woman thrown away on a selfish one. I know you agree with me, Miss Marriott; I can read it in your face."
"As if we actually cared about that," Garth muttered under his breath; and then, after he came back from unhooking the little side gate, he stopped for a moment by Queenie. "There goes one of life’s unsolved mysteries—a good woman wasted on a selfish one. I know you agree with me, Miss Marriott; I can see it on your face."
Queenie gave him a bright, understanding smile. She had just finished a most artistic-looking patch in an old frock of Emmie's, and held it up in critical approval. "When people are so good they can hardly fail to be happy," she said with slightly qualified assent. Somehow she did not pity Miss Faith quite so much this afternoon; it was a little contrary of her perhaps, but then, had she not gone away with Garth's roses in her belt? and had he not called her his patron saint, and hinted that she was necessary to him, to them all? Queenie felt that even Miss Faith's life was not quite devoid of all sweetness when such speeches as these were made to her. Garth had not sufficient vanity to guess at these thoughts, but he seemed quite disposed to linger by Queenie's side and argue out the matter. He had been quite absorbed by Miss Faith's conversation while she remained; and now it would be refreshing to turn to Queenie. It did not occur to him to pick roses for her, but he stood beside her, and watched her deft fingers move swiftly over her work, with a lazy sort of pleasure.
Queenie gave him a bright, understanding smile. She had just finished a really artistic-looking patch on an old dress of Emmie's and held it up for approval. "When people are so good, it’s hard for them not to be happy," she said with a slight hint of doubt. Somehow, she didn’t feel quite as sorry for Miss Faith this afternoon; maybe it was a little unfair of her, but hadn’t Miss Faith gone off with Garth’s roses in her belt? And hadn’t he called her his patron saint and suggested that she was essential to him, to all of them? Queenie felt that even Miss Faith’s life wasn’t completely lacking in sweetness when she received compliments like that. Garth didn’t have enough vanity to suspect these thoughts, but he seemed happy to stay by Queenie's side and discuss things. He had been totally engrossed in Miss Faith's conversation while she was there, and now it felt refreshing to turn to Queenie. It didn’t occur to him to pick roses for her, but he stood beside her and watched her skilled fingers move quickly over her work, feeling a lazy sort of pleasure.
"No one could doubt her goodness," he went on, taking up the thread of his argument; "the question is, is she quite right to give up her own will so entirely to her sister? One may be good and self-sacrificing, and yet preserve one's individuality."
"No one could doubt her goodness," he continued, picking up where he left off; "the real question is, is it really right for her to completely surrender her own will to her sister? One can be good and selfless while still maintaining their individuality."
"I think she is not quite sufficiently strong-minded."
"I don't think she is strong-willed enough."
"Don't; if you knew how I hate that word! it is Miss Charity's war-cry. Women do not need to be strong-minded, they ought to be pliant, yielding, ready to take impressions; a woman with an inflexible will is a man in disguise. If Miss Charity had married—poor thing, she might have done so once, and have rued taking the step to her dying day—she would have ruled her husband with a rod of iron, much as she rules Miss Faith."
"Don't; if you knew how much I hate that word! It's Miss Charity's battle cry. Women shouldn't have to be strong-minded; they should be flexible, adaptable, and open to influences. A woman with a stubborn will is just a man in disguise. If Miss Charity had married—poor thing, she might have had a chance once, and regretted it for the rest of her life—she would have controlled her husband with an iron fist, just like she controls Miss Faith."
"I suppose she is fond of her," doubtfully.
"I guess she likes her," he said uncertainly.
"Oh yes; tyranny does not exclude affection, at least among women," was the grim answer. "Miss Charity is only forming her sister's education, moulding her taste, in fact; she little knows how all the maxims slide off her like the rain off a duck's back. Away from her sister she is a different creature—dares to hold her own opinions, and to own to her own modest tastes. I call Miss Faith, exquisitely feminine; don't you think that is the word for her, Miss Marriott?"
"Oh yes, tyranny doesn’t rule out affection, at least among women," was the serious reply. "Miss Charity is just shaping her sister's education, really refining her taste; she hardly realizes how all the advice just rolls off her like water off a duck's back. Away from her sister, she’s a completely different person—she’s not afraid to have her own opinions or admit to her own modest tastes. I think Miss Faith is perfectly feminine; don’t you agree that’s the right word for her, Miss Marriott?"
"Yes," replied Queenie hesitating. It was very pleasant to have Garth there beside her, talking on any subject; but she almost wished that he would praise Miss Faith a little less. How did she know, Cathy might be wrong after all; Miss Faith was only seven years his senior, and there were so few people in Hepshaw. Queenie was still too young to know how silent a man generally is on the merits of a woman he actually loves.
"Yeah," replied Queenie hesitantly. It was really nice to have Garth next to her, chatting about anything; but she almost wished he would compliment Miss Faith a little less. How did she know? Cathy could be wrong after all; Miss Faith was only seven years older than him, and there weren't many people in Hepshaw. Queenie was still too young to understand how quiet a man usually is about the qualities of a woman he truly loves.
"I mean her to go over to Crossgill with us to-morrow," he said presently, returning to the charge. "If I have to beard the lion in his den, and Miss Charity on her couch, I intend to have my way. I know what I will do, Langley shall go over there after tea, she has great influence with the dominant cardinal virtue. Willing or unwilling, Miss Faith goes with us to-morrow." And Garth, as usual, had his way.
"I mean for her to come to Crossgill with us tomorrow," he said after a moment, pressing the point. "If I have to face the lion in his den and Miss Charity on her couch, I'm going to get my way. I know what I'll do: Langley will head over there after tea; she has a lot of influence with the dominant cardinal virtue. Whether she likes it or not, Miss Faith is coming with us tomorrow." And Garth, as always, got his way.
It would be hard to tell whether Queenie or Miss Faith enjoyed the drive and the lovely scenery most. Cathy was on the box beside her brother, and had the reins more than once in her hands, and only Emmie remained with them.
It would be hard to say whether Queenie or Miss Faith enjoyed the drive and the beautiful scenery more. Cathy was sitting next to her brother up front, took the reins in her hands more than once, and only Emmie stayed with them.
Miss Faith was a quiet companion, and at first Queenie missed her friend's lively tongue; but by-and-bye they fell into a pleasant channel of talk, which proved so interesting that they were both surprised when Garth told them that they were within sight of Crossgill, and that in another five minutes they would be at the Vicarage.
Miss Faith was a quiet companion, and at first, Queenie missed her friend's lively chatter; but eventually, they found a comfortable flow of conversation that was so engaging that they were both surprised when Garth told them they could see Crossgill and that they would reach the Vicarage in just five minutes.
They were descending a steep winding road as he spoke, and in another moment they entered the village. Queenie always spoke of it afterwards as one of the prettiest villages she had ever seen. A little stream flowed down the middle of the road, the cottages looked picturesque and in good condition; a fine old church seemed to tower in symbolic majesty over the whole place. Emmie and she uttered a simultaneous cry of admiration when they first caught sight of Crossgill Vicarage. It was the ideal Vicarage; the neatly-kept gravelled paths, the exquisitely trimmed lawn, the flower-beds masses of variegated colors, the rare shrubs and plants, all spoke of the owner's cultivated taste; the house itself, with its quaint casements and low bay-windows, was almost embosomed in creepers and climbing roses; the porch was full of flowers. As the door opened they found themselves in a little square hall, wainscoted in oak, with an oak staircase and low gallery running across it.
They were going down a steep winding road as he spoke, and soon they entered the village. Queenie always described it later as one of the prettiest villages she had ever seen. A small stream flowed down the middle of the road, the cottages looked charming and well-maintained; a beautiful old church towered majestically over the entire place. Emmie and she let out a simultaneous gasp of admiration when they first spotted Crossgill Vicarage. It was the perfect Vicarage; the well-kept gravel paths, the beautifully trimmed lawn, the flower beds bursting with varied colors, the rare shrubs and plants, all indicated the owner's refined taste; the house itself, with its quirky window frames and low bay windows, was almost enveloped in vines and climbing roses; the porch was filled with flowers. When the door opened, they found themselves in a small square hall, paneled in oak, with an oak staircase and a low gallery running across it.
An old servant with a wrinkled face, evidently about eighty years old, welcomed Cathy and Garth with beaming smiles. Garth shook hands with her.
An elderly servant with a wrinkled face, clearly around eighty years old, greeted Cathy and Garth with big smiles. Garth shook her hand.
"Well, Nurse, I have brought visitors to see your young lady. Oh, there is Miss Dora," as a slight girlish figure crossed the gallery, and came rapidly down the broad low staircase towards them.
"Well, Nurse, I brought some visitors to see your young lady. Oh, there's Miss Dora," as a slight young woman crossed the hallway and quickly came down the wide, low staircase toward them.
What a picturesque little figure it was. Picturesque—that was just the word for her. No one in their senses could have called Dora Cunningham pretty, but taken altogether she was simply charming.
What a charming little figure it was. Charming—that was exactly the word for her. No one in their right mind could have called Dora Cunningham pretty, but altogether she was just delightful.
She was dressed so quaintly too; the shady coarse straw hat, with the wreath of wild convolvoli, just suited the pale piquante face; and over her dark blue cambric she wore a long narrow holland apron, laced across the bodice in old-century fashion, and bordered with antique silken flowers. A kitten's soft head and innocent blue eyes peeped out of one of the pockets. "You have come at last," she said with just a slight accent of reproach, and a little satirical elevation of the eyebrows. "I have been looking for you for weeks past. Where is Langley? and why has not Ted been to see me lately?"
She was dressed so charmingly too; the shady coarse straw hat, with the wreath of wild morning glories, perfectly matched her pale, attractive face; and over her dark blue fabric, she wore a long, narrow white apron, laced across the bodice in an old-fashioned way, and trimmed with vintage silk flowers. A kitten's soft head and innocent blue eyes peeked out from one of the pockets. "You finally made it," she said with a hint of reproach, raising her eyebrows slightly in a playful way. "I've been looking for you for weeks. Where's Langley? And why hasn't Ted come to see me lately?"
"I have brought Miss Faith and our guest, Miss Marriott, instead," returned Garth. "This is her little sister Emmie. Are you going to give us some tea, Miss Dora? Where is your father? Shall I go and look for him while you show these ladies your pretty drawing-room and conservatory?"
"I've brought Miss Faith and our guest, Miss Marriott, instead," Garth replied. "This is her little sister Emmie. Are you going to serve us some tea, Miss Dora? Where's your dad? Should I go look for him while you show these ladies your lovely drawing room and conservatory?"
"Nurse, will you send papa to us, please. No, Mr. Clayton, I am not going to let you escape like that; you owe me some apology first for your long absence. What have you been doing? What have you all been doing? Come in here; I mean to catechise you."
"Nurse, could you please send Dad to us? No, Mr. Clayton, I'm not going to let you get away like that; you owe me an apology first for being gone so long. What have you been up to? What has everyone been up to? Come in here; I plan to interrogate you."
Miss Cunningham spoke in a brisk, pleasant voice, though it had a sharp, decided note or two in it. She marshalled her guests with perfect ease and self-possession into the long bay-windowed drawing-room. A white-haired, aristocratic-looking man in an old gardening coat came out of the conservatory with a watering-pot in his hand.
Miss Cunningham spoke in a lively, friendly tone, though there were a couple of sharp, firm notes to it. She guided her guests effortlessly and confidently into the long drawing room with bay windows. A distinguished-looking, white-haired man in an old gardening coat emerged from the conservatory with a watering can in his hand.
"Papa, you must come and talk to Miss Marriott and Miss Palmer, please. Let me take that watering-pot away, it is trickling all over the carpet, and your coat is covered with lime. Do you like a low chair, Miss Marriott? If you sit there you can see the flowers in the conservatory, and just a pretty peep of the garden. I hope you will talk to papa, he is so fond of talking to strangers. Miss Palmer, you know papa, of course?"
"Papa, you need to come talk to Miss Marriott and Miss Palmer, please. Let me take that watering can away; it’s dripping all over the carpet, and your coat is covered in lime. Do you prefer a low chair, Miss Marriott? If you sit there, you can see the flowers in the conservatory and get a nice glimpse of the garden. I hope you chat with papa; he really enjoys talking to new people. Miss Palmer, you know papa, right?"
"Miss Faith and I are old friends, my dear," interposed Mr. Cunningham.
"Miss Faith and I are old friends, my dear," Mr. Cunningham interjected.
"Yes, I know; it is Miss Marriott who is the only stranger," returned Dora calmly, untying her hat. She had white dimpled hands, rather like a baby's. "Now, Mr. Clayton, please tell me what you have been doing with yourself all this time?"
"Yes, I know; it’s Miss Marriott who is the only stranger," Dora replied calmly as she took off her hat. She had white, dimpled hands, kind of like a baby’s. "Now, Mr. Clayton, please tell me what you’ve been up to all this time?"
Mr. Cunningham proved himself a most genial host. He took Miss Faith and Queenie into the conservatory, and gathered some of his choicest flowers for them. A little summer shower had just commenced; the light patter of drops on the glass roof blended unceasingly with the voices. Dora's canaries were singing loudly; a small blue-black Skye terrier scampered over the wet lawn. Miss Faith seemed rapt in quiet happiness; Queenie was just a trifle absent and distracted.
Mr. Cunningham was a really charming host. He took Miss Faith and Queenie into the conservatory and picked some of his best flowers for them. A light summer shower had just started; the gentle sound of raindrops on the glass roof mixed constantly with their conversation. Dora’s canaries were singing loudly, and a small blue-black Skye terrier was running around on the wet lawn. Miss Faith appeared to be completely happy; Queenie seemed a bit preoccupied and distant.
Through the conservatory door she could catch sight of a pretty group. Dora sat in her little low chair, and Cathy had ensconced herself on the rug at her feet. Garth stood with his broad shoulders propped against the wooden mantel-piece, looking at them both. His face wore an amused expression; evidently he was well entertained.
Through the conservatory door, she could see a charming group. Dora sat in her small low chair, while Cathy had settled herself on the rug at her feet. Garth leaned against the wooden mantelpiece, looking at both of them. He had an amused expression on his face; clearly, he was enjoying himself.
"Do you think her pretty?" whispered Emmie, coming round to her sister's side. "She is like a picture, somehow; but I like your face best, Queenie, there is more in it." Queenie could not understand why the child's remark jarred on her. She colored hastily and turned away.
"Do you think she's pretty?" Emmie whispered as she walked over to her sister. "She looks like a painting or something, but I like your face better, Queenie; there's more depth to it." Queenie couldn't figure out why the child's comment bothered her. She blushed quickly and turned away.
But she told herself afterwards that Emmie was right on one point. Dora Cunningham was certainly not pretty: her teeth were a little too prominent, her nose was somewhat blunt and unformed, and her eyes were blue and still, and had no special depth in them. Her fair hair was her chief beauty; it was very abundant, and she wore it gracefully, just simply turned off from her face and knotted carelessly behind.
But she told herself later that Emmie had a point. Dora Cunningham was definitely not pretty: her teeth stuck out a bit, her nose was somewhat flat and undefined, and her blue eyes were calm but lacked any special depth. Her fair hair was her best feature; it was very thick, and she wore it gracefully, simply pulled back from her face and tied up casually behind.
At this early stage of their acquaintance Queenie hardly knew whether she was attracted or repulsed by the young mistress of Crossgill Vicarage. Her perfect self-possession, her absence of all consciousness, her cool, business-like comments on things in general, her faith in her own management and powers of observation, astonished Queenie not a little.
At this early stage of their acquaintance, Queenie was unsure if she was drawn to or turned off by the young mistress of Crossgill Vicarage. Her flawless composure, lack of self-awareness, and matter-of-fact remarks about everything amazed Queenie. Her confidence in her own abilities and observational skills surprised her a lot.
From the first she had taken possession of Garth, quite frankly and openly.
From the start, she had taken ownership of Garth, straightforwardly and without pretense.
"I always leave the ladies to papa," she said to Queenie, as she led the way by-and-bye into the hall, where tea had been prepared for them. "Papa is such a lady's man. I always get on best with gentlemen, at least if they are like Mr. Clayton. Girls are all very well in their way, but men are so much more amusing. I dare say you think the same?"
"I always leave the ladies to Dad," she told Queenie as she eventually led the way into the hall, where tea was ready for them. "Dad is such a charmer with women. I always get along best with guys, especially if they’re like Mr. Clayton. Girls are great in their own way, but men are way more fun. I bet you think the same, right?"
"I have never thought about it; I have seen so few gentlemen in my life," answered Queenie, a little confused by the question. The music and drawing-masters at Granite Lodge and Caleb Runciman were about the only specimens of manhood with whom she had been acquainted, until her arrival at Church-Stile House. She was afraid, too, that Garth had overheard Miss Cunningham's frank speech; if he had, he took no notice. He placed himself at the little oval table beside his young hostess, and looked at the plump childish hands, busy amongst the old china cups and saucers.
"I've never thought about it; I've met so few gentlemen in my life," Queenie replied, a bit taken aback by the question. The music and art teachers at Granite Lodge and Caleb Runciman were pretty much the only examples of manhood she had encountered until she got to Church-Stile House. She also worried that Garth had overheard Miss Cunningham's candid remark; if he did, he didn't show it. He sat down at the small oval table next to his young hostess and watched her chubby, youthful hands busy with the old china cups and saucers.
The old nurse stood behind her mistress's chair, and joined in the conversation. She and Garth seemed great friends.
The old nurse stood behind her mistress's chair and joined in the conversation. She and Garth looked like great friends.
"Well, Nurse, how are Miss Beatrix and Miss Florence?"
"Well, Nurse, how are Beatrix and Florence?"
"Well, very well, bless their dear hearts. Miss Beatrix is taller than Miss Dora even, and is growing prettier than ever. We want them back, Mr. Clayton, sir."
"Well, very well, bless their hearts. Miss Beatrix is taller than Miss Dora now, and she’s getting prettier all the time. We want them back, Mr. Clayton, sir."
"Now, Nurse, that's nonsense," interposed Dora, briskly. "Remember they are gone for their good, not ours. Beatrix must finish her education before she comes home; you know papa and I have settled that."
"Come on, Nurse, that's ridiculous," chimed in Dora, enthusiastically. "Remember, they left for their benefit, not ours. Beatrix needs to complete her education before she returns home; you know Dad and I have made that decision."
"I don't think the poor young ladies like foreign parts so well as home," sighed the old woman, plaintively. "Miss Flo writes beautiful letters, to be sure; but she says she is home-sick sometimes."
"I don't think the poor young ladies like being abroad as much as being at home," sighed the old woman sadly. "Miss Flo writes beautiful letters, that's true; but she says she gets homesick sometimes."
"Have you sisters?" enquired Queenie, with a little surprise. She thought Dora was the only inhabitant of the vicarage.
"Do you have sisters?" asked Queenie, a bit surprised. She thought Dora was the only one living at the vicarage.
Dora nodded. "Yes; there are the girls. Nurse is talking about them now; she is always talking about them. They are at school in Brussels. They are very well, of course, for girls, only I have never forgiven them for not being boys. I have always so longed for a brother—a great big brother—to take me about when papa is lazy or tired," appealing to Garth with candid blue eyes, not unlike the kitten's.
Dora nodded. "Yeah, there are the girls. The nurse is talking about them right now; she talks about them all the time. They’re in school in Brussels. They’re doing really well, of course, for girls, but I’ve never forgiven them for not being boys. I've always wanted a brother—a big brother—to take me around when Dad is lazy or tired," she said, looking at Garth with her clear blue eyes, similar to a kitten's.
"What a pity we can't make you a present of Ted," returned Garth coolly; but Nurse interposed again with the garrulity of age.
"What a shame we can't give you Ted as a gift," Garth replied casually; but Nurse interrupted once more with the talkativeness of old age.
"Miss Dora, dear, I can't bear to hear you talk so; it doesn't seem right, does it, sir? with those sweet young ladies for sisters, adoring her and spoiling her as they do. Why one of these days, my darling, you will have a husband to take you about; that will be better than a brother, won't it, Mr. Clayton, sir?"
"Miss Dora, sweetheart, I can't stand to hear you speak like that; it just doesn't feel right, does it, sir? With those lovely young ladies for sisters, who adore and pamper her like they do. One of these days, my darling, you’ll have a husband to take you out; that’ll be better than a brother, won’t it, Mr. Clayton, sir?"
"I suppose I shall have a husband some day, but there is no need for you to drag him in before-hand, Nurse;" returned Dora with perfect composure, as she tied on her broad-brimmed hat again. The allusion in Garth's presence did not disturb her equanimity in the least; she took it quite as a matter of course. "It is only Nurse's nonsense," she said, turning calmly to Queenie; "if she talked so to the girls it would be different, but nothing matters to me," with a little curl of her lip and a shrug.
"I guess I'll have a husband someday, but there's no need for you to bring him up right now, Nurse," Dora replied, completely unbothered, as she put her wide-brimmed hat back on. The mention of Garth didn't upset her at all; she took it all in stride. "It's just Nurse's nonsense," she said, turning calmly to Queenie. "If she talked like that to the girls, it would be different, but nothing really matters to me," she added with a slight curl of her lip and a shrug.
"I think you must miss your sisters, living here alone?" observed Queenie, by way of changing the subject.
"I bet you miss your sisters, being here all by yourself?" Queenie said, trying to shift the conversation.
"Oh, as to that, papa and I miss them, of course. They are well enough for girls, only they are just at the gauche age, you know; when they are older I shall know better what to do with them."
"Oh, about that, Dad and I miss them, of course. They're fine for girls, but they're just at that awkward age, you know? When they're older, I'll know better how to handle them."
"Then are you never dull?" asked Garth. "I should have thought Flo especially would have left a void in the house, she was so bright and full of fun."
"Are you never boring?" Garth asked. "I would have thought Flo, in particular, would have left a gap in the house; she was so lively and fun."
"I should have called Flo noisy," exclaimed Dora quietly. "Busy people are never dull; I should have thought you would have found that out by this time."
"I should have called Flo noisy," Dora said quietly. "Busy people are never boring; I thought you would have figured that out by now."
"I know you emulate the busy bee, and improve each shining hour, Miss Dora; but still—"
"I know you act like a busy bee and make the most of every shining hour, Miss Dora; but still—"
"I suppose you mean to be satirical," with a little scorn. "You men think there is no work done but by yourselves."
"I guess you’re trying to be sarcastic," she said with a hint of disdain. "You guys think that no work gets done except by you."
"Oh, no; I am sure your list of duties must be very long," evidently teasing her, to her father's great delight.
"Oh, no; I’m sure your list of tasks must be really long," clearly teasing her, much to her father's delight.
"Quite long enough for a woman," she returned, pointedly. "I have my house-keeping, and my schools, and the mothers' meeting, and the penny club, and the coal and blanket fund, and the library, besides odds and ends of business, and all my visiting. Papa and I work together, and in the evening I read to him."
"That's plenty long for a woman," she replied sharply. "I have my housekeeping, my schools, the mothers' meeting, the penny club, the coal and blanket fund, the library, plus various bits of business, and all my visiting. Dad and I work together, and in the evenings, I read to him."
"Dora is my right hand," interposed Mr. Cunningham, looking at his girl fondly.
"Dora is my right hand," Mr. Cunningham said, looking at his daughter with affection.
"After all men must have some one to help them," returned Dora loftily. She delivered herself of her little speech Parthian-wise, as she rose from the tea-table, turning her shoulder somewhat upon Garth as she did so.
"After all, everyone needs someone to help them," Dora replied dismissively. She made her little speech with a bit of flair as she stood up from the tea table, slightly turning her back to Garth as she did.
"Are we such helpless creatures then?" he asked in a low voice, following her.
"Are we really that helpless?" he asked quietly, trailing behind her.
"Most of you are," she replied calmly. "Miss Marriott, the rain is over, shall we take a turn in the garden?"
"Most of you are," she replied calmly. "Miss Marriott, the rain has stopped. Shall we take a stroll in the garden?"
CHAPTER III.
TANGLED.
"Women do not like a man the worse for having many favorites, if he desert them all for her. She fancies that she herself has the power of fixing the wanderer; that other women conquer like the Parthians, but that she herself, like the Romans, can not only make conquests, but retain them."—Colton.
"Women don’t mind a man having many favorites, as long as he chooses her over the rest. She believes she has the ability to settle the wanderer; that other women may conquer like the Parthians, but she, like the Romans, can not only win hearts but keep them."—Colton.
The conversation had now become more general; but towards the close of the visit Queenie found herself alone with Miss Cunningham. They were standing in the porch together. Garth had gone round to the stables to see after the waggonette, and the others were in the Vicar's study, turning over a portfolio of old engravings. Queenie had been more than half disposed to follow them, but Miss Cunningham had detained her.
The conversation had become more casual; but towards the end of the visit, Queenie found herself alone with Miss Cunningham. They were standing together in the porch. Garth had gone to the stables to check on the wagon, and the others were in the Vicar's study, looking through a collection of old engravings. Queenie had been more than half tempted to join them, but Miss Cunningham had kept her there.
"You will find this pleasanter than papa's dark little study; besides, he does not want us now he has Miss Faith Palmer. Why do men like talking to her so much?" she continued in a perplexed voice. "She is not a bit clever, or what one would call attractive, and yet Mr. Clayton and papa are always lauding her to the skies."
"You'll find this much nicer than Dad's dark little study; besides, he doesn't want us around now that he has Miss Faith Palmer. Why do men enjoy talking to her so much?" she continued, sounding puzzled. "She's not clever at all, or what you would call attractive, yet Mr. Clayton and Dad are always praising her to the heavens."
"She is very good," returned Queenie. After what had passed between herself and Garth she was disposed to hold her peace on the subject of Miss Faith's merits. Some hours had passed since her arrival at Crossgill Vicarage, but, strange to say, she was less than ever inclined to be communicative to Miss Cunningham.
"She’s really great," replied Queenie. After everything that had happened between her and Garth, she felt like staying quiet about Miss Faith's qualities. Several hours had gone by since her arrival at Crossgill Vicarage, but, oddly enough, she was even less inclined to open up to Miss Cunningham.
"So are you and I good, at least I hope so," answered Dora promptly, "though we do not dress in grey, and wear a close bonnet like a Quaker. I am a foe to that sort of goodness that must cloak itself in a peculiar garb. By-the-bye, how do you get on with Langley Clayton? she is one of the good sort too."
"So, are you and I okay? At least I hope so," responded Dora quickly. "Even though we don't wear grey and a tight bonnet like a Quaker. I'm not a fan of that type of goodness that hides behind a specific look. By the way, how are things between you and Langley Clayton? She's a good person too."
"I think she is one of the best women I ever met," was the enthusiastic reply; "she is almost perfection, so unselfish and so unobtrusive in everything she does."
"I think she's one of the best women I've ever met," was the enthusiastic reply; "she's nearly perfect, so selfless and so modest in everything she does."
"Yes; Langley is Langley; but she is a trifle too melancholy for my taste. I don't like people to go through life in a sort of 'patience on a monument' attitude. One suspects all manner of strange back-grounds, and then it is so provoking. Langley is Langley, of course, but I like Cathy best."
"Yeah, Langley is Langley, but she's a bit too sad for my liking. I don't appreciate people who go through life with a 'patience on a monument' vibe. It makes you wonder about all kinds of odd backstories, and that’s really annoying. Langley is Langley, obviously, but I prefer Cathy."
"Have you known them long, Miss Cunningham?"
"Have you known them for a long time, Miss Cunningham?"
"Ever since I was so high," putting her hand about three feet from the ground. "I used to call Mr. Clayton Garth once, till he got so big and grand that he used to frighten me; not that I am at all frightened of him or any other man now," she continued, with a curl of her lip, "one sees their weaknesses too plainly for that. How long are you going to stay at Church-stile House, Miss Marriott?"
"Ever since I was this tall," she said, holding her hand about three feet off the ground. "I used to call Mr. Clayton Garth once, until he got so big and impressive that he used to scare me; not that I'm scared of him or any other man now," she added, curling her lip. "You can see their weaknesses too clearly for that. How long are you planning to stay at Church-stile House, Miss Marriott?"
"About three weeks, I believe, that is, until the cottage is ready for us. You know, I suppose, that we remain in Hepshaw. I am the new school-mistress. Mr. Clayton and Mr. Logan have elected me," explained Queenie simply; but, nevertheless, making the statement with some reluctance. She had a notion that Miss Cunningham would think it strange.
"About three weeks, I think, until the cottage is ready for us. You probably know that we're still in Hepshaw. I'm the new school teacher. Mr. Clayton and Mr. Logan chose me," Queenie explained straightforwardly, but she made the statement with a bit of hesitation. She had a feeling that Miss Cunningham might find it unusual.
Dora absolutely started, and then bit her lip.
Dora totally jumped and then bit her lip.
"You! Why you must be joking!"
"You! You have to be joking!"
"No indeed, Miss Cunningham."
"No, Miss Cunningham."
"Why did they not tell me? It is Cathy's doing, I suppose, to keep you near her, you are great friends I hear; but I am surprised Mr. Clayton allowed it for a moment. You,—excuse me, Miss Marriott, but I cannot get over my surprise,—you look so unlike a school-mistress. Did you ever see your predecessor, Miss Drake?"
"Why didn't they tell me? I guess it’s Cathy's way of keeping you close, since I hear you’re great friends; but I'm surprised Mr. Clayton let it happen for even a second. You—sorry, Miss Marriott, but I can't help but be surprised—you look nothing like a schoolmistress. Have you ever met your predecessor, Miss Drake?"
Queenie shook her head. She felt a little discomposed; the cool scrutiny of the blue eyes did not please her. Dora's searching glance took in every detail—the well-gloved hands, the dainty French tie, the little brown hat with its pheasant's wing, all the finish and detail that marks the gentlewoman's taste.
Queenie shook her head. She felt a bit unsettled; the intense gaze of the blue eyes didn’t sit well with her. Dora's keen look absorbed every detail—the well-groomed hands, the delicate French tie, the small brown hat with its pheasant's wing, all the polish and details that define a woman's refined taste.
"No, you are not much like Miss Drake," she replied coldly; and a little cloud of dissatisfaction and perplexity knitted her brow.
"No, you're not really like Miss Drake," she responded coolly, and a slight frown of dissatisfaction and confusion crossed her face.
They both seemed relieved when Garth made his appearance with the waggonette. Dora at once went in search of the rest of the party. Miss Faith and Emmie joined them instantly, but Cathy still lingered.
They both looked relieved when Garth showed up with the wagonette. Dora quickly went to find the rest of the group. Miss Faith and Emmie joined them right away, but Cathy still hung back.
"Come, Catherine, come, it is getting late," exclaimed her brother impatiently; "you and Miss Dora have gossiped enough by this time." Cathy gave him a laughing look as she jumped into the waggonette, and ensconced herself cosily by Queenie.
"Come on, Catherine, come on, it's getting late," her brother said, a bit impatiently. "You and Miss Dora have chatted enough by now." Cathy shot him a playful glance as she jumped into the wagon and settled in comfortably next to Queenie.
"Don't be cross, Garth. No one calls me Catherine but Mr. Logan and Miss Cosie. I have only been mystifying Dora on the subject of our young friend here. She seems 'struck all of a heap'—to use an elegant but most expressive phrase—at the notion of her turning school-mistress. What business of hers is it, I should like to know? Let her mind her own parish."
"Don’t be upset, Garth. No one calls me Catherine except Mr. Logan and Miss Cosie. I’ve just been teasing Dora about our young friend here. She seems completely taken aback—if I can borrow a fancy but very fitting expression—at the idea of her becoming a schoolteacher. What does it have to do with her, I’d like to know? She should focus on her own community."
"Hush, Cathy, be quiet; she will hear you," interposed Garth sharply, as he turned round to wave an adieu to the little figure in the porch. Dora stood with her hand shading her eyes, watching them until they were out of sight. She looked still more like a picture framed in roses, her straw hat hanging on her arm, and the sunset shining on her fair hair.
"Hush, Cathy, be quiet; she'll hear you," Garth said sharply, turning around to wave goodbye to the small figure in the porch. Dora stood there, her hand shading her eyes, watching them until they disappeared from view. She looked even more like a picture framed in roses, her straw hat draped over her arm, with the sunset shining on her fair hair.
Garth turned round more than once, and then he resumed the subject somewhat irritably.
Garth turned around more than once, and then he picked up the topic again with a bit of irritation.
"What has Dora got in her head, I should like to know? she looks as if something does not please her. What nonsense have you been talking, Cathy?"
"What does Dora have on her mind, I wonder? She looks like something's bothering her. What nonsense have you been saying, Cathy?"
"Plaze your honor, no nonsense at all, at all," began Cathy mischievously, but a glance at her brother's side face, which looked unusually grave, sobered her in time. "Garth, don't be such a griffin, or I will never take you out to tea again. Dora chose to cross-examine me as to Miss Marriott's motives in taking so singular a step as becoming our school-mistress, and I thought her curiosity somewhat impertinent, and so took a delight in baffling it."
"Please, your honor, no nonsense whatsoever," began Cathy playfully, but a look at her brother’s serious profile quickly brought her back to reality. "Garth, don’t be such a killjoy, or I’ll never take you out for tea again. Dora decided to question me about Miss Marriott’s reasons for taking such an unusual step as becoming our schoolmistress, and I thought her curiosity was a bit rude, so I enjoyed throwing her off."
"I think it was you who were impertinent, Cathy," returned Garth, still displeased. "Surely such an old friend as Dora has a right to interest herself in our affairs if she likes."
"I think it was you who were disrespectful, Cathy," Garth replied, still annoyed. "Surely an old friend like Dora has the right to take an interest in our lives if she wants."
"Not at all," returned his sister haughtily; "besides, this is not our affair at all, it is Queenie's. What right has any one to poke and pry into her motives? Of course you always take Dora's part, you and Langley are alike in that; but she got nothing out of me."
"Not at all," his sister replied arrogantly; "besides, this isn't our business, it's Queenie's. What right does anyone have to snoop around in her motives? Obviously, you always side with Dora; you and Langley are the same that way. But she didn't get anything from me."
"My dear Cathy, Miss Cunningham is perfectly welcome to know everything, as far as I am concerned," interrupted Queenie, somewhat distressed at this argument. These slight diversities of opinion were not unusual between Cathy and her brother; but Queenie had never before heard him express himself so strongly.
"My dear Cathy, Miss Cunningham is totally welcome to know everything, as far as I'm concerned," interrupted Queenie, a bit upset by the argument. These small differences in opinion weren't uncommon between Cathy and her brother; but Queenie had never heard him express himself so strongly before.
"I am glad you take such a sensible view of it," returned Garth, mollified in an instant. "Cathy is thoughtless with her tongue sometimes, and hurts people. Miss Cunningham always takes a lively interest in all that concerns Hepshaw; you see, their own parish is managed so admirably, Crossgill is quite a model village in every way, that she feels she has some authority in speaking."
"I’m glad you have such a reasonable perspective on it," Garth replied, feeling calmer immediately. "Cathy can be careless with her words sometimes and can hurt people. Miss Cunningham is always really interested in everything that affects Hepshaw; you see, their own parish is managed so well that Crossgill is a perfect example of a village in every way, so she feels she has some right to speak on the matter."
"All meddlers have authority, self-imposed, of course," observed Cathy, sotto voce. Nevertheless, the remark reached Garth's ears.
"All the busybodies have their own kind of authority, of course," Cathy said quietly. Still, Garth heard her comment.
"What makes you so hard on Dora this evening?" he asked, good-humoredly. "She deserves a good scolding, does she not, Miss Faith? You are generally such good friends; something has gone wrong to-night, eh, little one?"
"What’s making you so tough on Dora tonight?" he asked, jokingly. "She deserves a good telling-off, doesn’t she, Miss Faith? You two are usually such good friends; something must have gone wrong this evening, huh, little one?"
He spoke coaxingly, but Cathy would not be induced to answer. "She was sick of Dora; she would have Dora on the brain if they did not change the subject," was her pettish reply, and, seeing her in this humor, Garth, like a wise man, dropped the subject. But the conversation made a painful impression on Queenie; in her heart she sided with Cathy. She thought Miss Cunningham's curiosity unjustifiable in the last degree. "What is it to her how long I remain in Church-Stile House and in Hepshaw?" she said proudly to herself.
He spoke gently, but Cathy wouldn't be persuaded to answer. "I'm tired of Dora; I'd be thinking about her nonstop if we didn't switch topics," was her sulky reply, and seeing her in this mood, Garth wisely dropped it. But the conversation left a troubling impact on Queenie; deep down, she agreed with Cathy. She believed Miss Cunningham's curiosity was completely unwarranted. "What does it matter to her how long I stay at Church-Stile House and in Hepshaw?" she said to herself, feeling proud.
This feeling was not mollified when, two days afterwards, Cathy informed her that Miss Cunningham had driven over in her little basket-carriage, and was at that moment talking to Langley in the drawing-room.
This feeling wasn't eased when, two days later, Cathy told her that Miss Cunningham had come over in her little basket carriage and was currently talking to Langley in the living room.
Queenie changed color a little as she put down her book.
Queenie blushed a bit as she set down her book.
"So soon!" she ejaculated.
"So soon!" she exclaimed.
"Yes; she has come to return our call, and to see Langley," with a meaning look, that made Queenie feel still more uncomfortable. "No; we need not go to her just yet; Langley will bring her out to us by-and-bye. I think I shall tell Susan to let us have some tea, it is so delightfully cool and shady under these trees."
"Yes, she’s here to return our call and to see Langley," with a knowing look that made Queenie feel even more uneasy. "No, we don’t need to approach her just yet; Langley will bring her out to us later. I think I’ll ask Susan to serve us some tea since it’s so pleasantly cool and shady under these trees."
"Wait a moment, Cathy," catching hold of her dress, as she brushed past her, on hospitable thoughts intent. "Tell me why you do not like Miss Cunningham."
"Hold on a second, Cathy," grabbing her dress as she walked past, lost in welcoming thoughts. "Can you tell me why you don't like Miss Cunningham?"
"But I do like her," returned Cathy, opening her eyes widely. "Who has said anything to the contrary? I think she is a dear little thing, and as good as gold. Why her father and sisters dote on her; only they have spoiled her between them."
"But I really like her," Cathy said, widening her eyes. "Who said otherwise? I think she’s a sweet little thing and as good as gold. Her father and sisters absolutely dote on her; they’ve just spoiled her a bit."
"Then what put you out so the other night?" persisted Queenie.
"Then what upset you the other night?" Queenie continued.
"My dear, that is a complaint to which I am often subject. Many things put me out, you do sometimes, and so does Garth, dear, stupid, blundering old fellow that he is."
"My dear, that's a complaint I hear often. Many things annoy me, including you sometimes, and so does Garth, the silly, clumsy old guy that he is."
"Yes; but, Cathy, do be serious; you were as cross as possible that evening with Miss Cunningham, and would not say anything in her favor."
"Yes, but Cathy, come on, be serious; you were really upset that evening with Miss Cunningham and wouldn’t say anything nice about her."
"Well, I believe I was cross," candidly. "If there be one thing I hate it is to be managed, and Dora will try to manage people. It is all very well in Crossgill, where every one worships the ground she treads on,—and of course she is very clever, and does no end of good,—but it is different when she tries to manage us here. It will be time enough for that when,—that is, if,—but I think I will leave that part of my sentence unfinished," continued Cathy, provokingly, and she ran away into the house, leaving Queenie still more mystified and uncomfortable.
"Honestly, I think I was being a bit harsh," she admitted. "If there's one thing I can't stand, it's being controlled, and Dora loves to try to control people. It works out fine in Crossgill, where everyone practically worships her, and sure, she’s really smart and does a lot of good, but it’s a whole different story when she tries to boss us around here. It’ll be time for that when—well, if—but I think I’ll leave that thought hanging," Cathy continued, teasingly, before running back into the house, leaving Queenie even more confused and uneasy.
Tea had long been set out on the low table under the plane-tree before Langley made her appearance with their visitor. The blue cambric and the broad-brimmed hat, wreathed with wild convolvoli, seemed quite familiar to Queenie. Dora held out her hand to her with perfect good humor; perhaps her manner was a trifle condescending.
Tea had been sitting on the low table under the plane tree for a while before Langley showed up with their guest. The blue fabric and the wide-brimmed hat decorated with wild morning glories looked familiar to Queenie. Dora extended her hand to her with a friendly attitude; maybe her tone was a bit patronizing.
"Well, I have come over to talk to you, and hear all about it," she said, taking possession of Garth's favorite basket-work chair, and unfastening her hat in her old fashion. "Papa says that I am too fond of interfering in every one's business, and that the world would go on just as well without me; but I can never believe that," with a low laugh, as though the idea amused her. "Fancy Crossgill and papa without me!" folding her dimpled hands complacently.
"Well, I came over to chat with you and hear all about it," she said, settling into Garth's favorite wicker chair and taking off her hat in her usual way. "Dad says I'm too into everyone else's business and that things would be just fine without me; but I can’t ever believe that," she added with a soft laugh, as if the thought amused her. "Imagine Crossgill and Dad without me!" she said, folding her dimpled hands with satisfaction.
"I dare say they would do very well," interrupted Cathy, who was hovering near her with some rosebuds in her hands. Dora calmly helped herself to some, and went on talking.
"I bet they would do great," interrupted Cathy, who was standing close by with some rosebuds in her hands. Dora calmly took some for herself and continued talking.
"They will have to do without me some day, of course. It is a woman's duty to marry, and I suppose I must submit to my destiny. The girls will be sad managers; but no one could expect me to remain an old maid on their account. I have brought them up, and when I have introduced them into society I shall consider that I have done my duty."
"They're going to have to manage without me someday, obviously. It's a woman's responsibility to get married, and I guess I have to accept my fate. The girls will be sad managers, but no one can expect me to stay single just for them. I've raised them, and once I've helped them make their debut in society, I'll feel like I've fulfilled my duty."
"Hear, hear," interposed Garth from the back-ground, so suddenly that even Langley started. Queenie thought that now, at least, Miss Cunningham must look conscious and confused; but she did nothing of the kind; she only faced round coolly on the interloper, and asked what he meant by eaves-dropping in that fashion?
"Hear, hear," Garth chimed in from the background, so unexpectedly that even Langley jumped. Queenie figured that Miss Cunningham would finally look aware and flustered, but she did nothing of the sort; she simply turned around calmly to face the intruder and asked what he meant by eavesdropping like that.
Garth laughed and made himself comfortable on his old grey plaid at her feet; but he looked a little mischievous.
Garth laughed and got comfortable on his old gray plaid at her feet; but he looked a bit mischievous.
"So there are limits to your sisterly self-sacrifice after all?" Dora gave a slight shrug.
"So there are limits to your sisterly self-sacrifice after all?" Dora shrugged slightly.
"Self-sacrifice, without limits and without common-sense, remind one of the Suttee and the car of Juggernaut. When one is speaking generally it is a pity to particularize. At present I have too much on my hands to trouble about my future. There are the girls, and Flo is always in scrapes, and wanting me," finished Dora, in a quiet, matter-of-fact way.
"Self-sacrifice, without boundaries and without common sense, reminds one of Suttee and the car of Juggernaut. When speaking in general, it’s a shame to get into specifics. Right now, I have too much on my plate to worry about my future. There are the girls, and Flo is always getting into trouble and needing me," finished Dora, in a calm, straightforward tone.
"But Flo is nearly sixteen!"
"But Flo is almost sixteen!"
"Yes, and Beatrix is seventeen. I mean Beatrix to remain at Brussels another year, in spite of papa and nurse; she is young for her age, and is far too shy and unformed to bring out at present; Flo has much more in her. But I did not come over here to talk about the girls and myself," continued Dora frankly; "they are good girls of course, but they are much more trouble than if they had been boys. I wanted a chat with Miss Marriott, and to hear all about this school business. I have had to do with schools all my life, you know," turning to Queenie; "and we have a charming place for our mistress at Crossgill. I have all sorts of ideas in my head, and shall be able to help you," ran on Dora, in a brisk, business-like way that almost took away Queenie's breath.
"Yes, and Beatrix is seventeen. I definitely want Beatrix to stay in Brussels for another year, despite what Dad and the nurse say; she’s still quite young and way too shy and undeveloped to present to society right now; Flo has a lot more to offer. But I didn’t come here to talk about the girls and myself," Dora said honestly. "They’re good girls, of course, but they’re definitely more trouble than if they were boys. I wanted to have a chat with Miss Marriott and find out all about this school situation. I’ve been involved with schools my whole life, you know," she said, looking at Queenie. "And we have a lovely spot for our teacher at Crossgill. I have all kinds of ideas in my head, and I’ll be able to help you," Dora continued in a lively, business-like manner that almost left Queenie speechless.
"You are very kind," she began, hesitatingly, and then she stopped. What business was it of Miss Cunningham's? why need she brook patronage from a girl so little older than herself, and a perfect stranger? But Dora misconstrued her momentary hesitation.
"You’re really nice," she started, hesitantly, and then paused. What did it matter to Miss Cunningham? Why should she accept kindness from someone just a bit older than her and a complete stranger? But Dora misunderstood her brief pause.
"Oh, you need not mind troubling me, I take interest in all sorts of people and things. Papa calls it interference, but I know better. Most people content themselves with their own little sphere of duty, and don't trouble themselves beyond it, but every one is welcome to my advice or assistance."
"Oh, you don’t need to worry about bothering me. I’m interested in all kinds of people and things. Dad calls it interference, but I know it’s not. Most people are satisfied with their own small area of responsibility and don’t go beyond it, but anyone is welcome to ask for my advice or help."
An inexplicable smile crossed Garth's face, but he made no remark. A close observer might have said that he was watching the two faces before him, with a view to comparison. Dora made a pretty picture as she leant back in her low basket-chair, with her sunny hair, and the roses fastened in her blue cambric. Queenie looked a little sombre and shadowy beside her in her brown dress. Her eyes were down-cast; she looked disturbed and ill-at-ease; she had lost something of the brightness and independence that were her chief charms.
An inexplicable smile crossed Garth's face, but he didn’t say anything. A careful observer might have noticed that he was comparing the two faces in front of him. Dora looked lovely as she leaned back in her low basket chair, with her sunny hair and the roses pinned in her blue fabric. Queenie seemed a bit dull and shadowy next to her in her brown dress. Her eyes were downcast; she appeared troubled and uneasy; she had lost some of the brightness and independence that were her main attractions.
"I don't like talking about myself and my own affairs," she said, with natural reserve; but somehow it sounded ungracious in her own ears. Miss Cunningham was an old friend of the family; perhaps she was wrong in treating her like a stranger; but Dora was not repulsed by her coldness.
"I don’t like discussing myself and my own issues," she said, with a natural restraint; but somehow it felt unkind to her own ears. Miss Cunningham was an old family friend; maybe she was mistaken in treating her like a stranger; but Dora didn’t feel pushed away by her coolness.
"I dare say you feel a little proud about it; I should in your position," with a patronizing kindness that made Queenie's cheeks burn. "Miss Drake was such a very different person, quite common-place and ordinary. I think she was a small tradesman's daughter. It must be difficult to fit yourself to such a position, to come down to it with dignity." But Queenie would hear no more.
"I bet you feel a bit proud about it; I would in your shoes," said with a condescending kindness that made Queenie's cheeks flush. "Miss Drake was such a different person, pretty average and ordinary. I think she was the daughter of a small shopkeeper. It must be hard to adjust to such a position, to accept it with grace." But Queenie wouldn’t listen any longer.
"You talk as though I were somebody, and not a poor governess, Miss Cunningham. I hope it is not beneath a clergyman's daughter to teach the children of honest people. It is not the work, it is the motive that ennobles the worker," cried the girl, turning on her young adviser with burning cheeks, and her eyes suddenly shining. "If I teach the children of the poor, I remember that I am poor myself. I shall not be ashamed of my position, or forget that my mother was a lady. I cannot forget what is due to myself or her, or to Emmie's mother, who brought me up, and made me what I am."
"You speak as if I'm someone important, not just a poor governess, Miss Cunningham. I hope a clergyman's daughter doesn’t think it’s beneath her to teach the kids of good people. It's not the job itself; it's the intention behind it that gives dignity to the person doing the work," the girl exclaimed, facing her young adviser with flushed cheeks and suddenly sparkling eyes. "If I teach the children of the poor, I remember I’m poor too. I won’t be ashamed of my position, nor will I forget that my mother was a lady. I cannot overlook what I owe to myself or to her, or to Emmie's mother, who raised me and made me who I am."
Dora raised her pretty eyebrows in some surprise; this little burst of sentiment perplexed her.
Dora lifted her charming eyebrows in surprise; this sudden display of emotion confused her.
"I did not know you were such an impulsive character, Miss Marriott. You remind me of Flo a little, it is just her way of breaking out when she is lectured; not that I am presuming to lecture you," with an amused look; "I am only offering you advice and assistance. Miss Drake and I used to have long talks, did we not, Langley? and settle all sorts of things. She was a very ordinary person, and a little commonplace, I must confess, but she was always ready to take advice."
"I didn’t know you were such an impulsive person, Miss Marriott. You remind me a bit of Flo; it’s just her way of reacting when she’s being lectured. Not that I’m trying to lecture you," he said with a playful smile, "I’m just offering you some advice and support. Miss Drake and I used to have long conversations, didn't we, Langley? and figure things out together. She was a pretty average person and a bit ordinary, I have to admit, but she was always open to advice."
"I fear you will not find me quite so submissive as Miss Drake. I am only humble to those whom I know and love, and who love me!" replied Queenie, with a soft unsteady smile. "You are very good, Miss Cunningham; but I do not see how you can help me in this. I have Langley and Cathy, and they trust me a little," finished the girl, with a touching inflexion in her voice; "and for the rest, it is hard uphill work, and I must fight my way alone;" and then, as though to put a stop to the argument, she rose and placed herself by Langley's side.
"I’m afraid you won’t find me as obedient as Miss Drake," replied Queenie, with a gentle, shaky smile. "I’m only humble to those I know and love, and who love me!" "You’re very kind, Miss Cunningham; but I don’t see how you can help me with this. I have Langley and Cathy, and they trust me a bit," the girl said, her voice trembling with emotion; "but for everything else, it’s tough going, and I have to fight my way through on my own." Then, as if to end the discussion, she stood up and moved to sit next to Langley.
"I don't understand. I hope she does not think me interfering. Perhaps she does not know that Hepshaw is a sort of second home to me!" returned Dora, in unfeigned perplexity, turning to Garth. Rebuffs were unknown to her; she was far too used to worship to take them kindly; her face changed and clouded a little. "I call it such a pity to show this sort of feeling in such a position. You have all of you made a mistake, Mr. Clayton; she is far above her work."
"I don't get it. I really hope she doesn't think I'm being nosy. Maybe she doesn't realize that Hepshaw feels like a second home to me!" Dora said, genuinely confused as she looked at Garth. She had never experienced rejection; she was so accustomed to being adored that she couldn't handle it well. Her expression shifted and darkened slightly. "I think it's a shame to have this kind of attitude in this situation. You've all made a mistake, Mr. Clayton; she's way too talented for her job."
"There you are wrong," replied Garth warmly. Dora had risen, and he had followed her, and they were standing by the little gate looking down the plane-tree walk. Some children were planting flowers on a newly-made grave; some one was practising on the organ; through the open door they could hear snatches of Bach's Passion music. "Believe me, you are wrong; Miss Marriott's a fine creature. She thinks nothing beneath her, and would work herself to death for that little sister of hers. You are both good creatures; I wonder why you persist in misunderstanding each other?" he continued in an aggrieved voice, and with a man's usual blindness in such cases. "I am disappointed that you do not care more for Langley's protégée, Miss Dora."
"There you’re mistaken," Garth responded warmly. Dora had stood up, and he had followed her, and they were standing by the small gate looking down the plane-tree path. Some kids were planting flowers on a freshly dug grave; someone was practicing on the organ; through the open door, they could hear snippets of Bach's Passion music. "Believe me, you’re mistaken; Miss Marriott is a wonderful person. She thinks nothing is beneath her, and she would work herself to death for her little sister. You’re both good people; I wonder why you keep misunderstanding each other?" he added in a hurt tone, with the usual blind spot men have in these situations. "I’m disappointed that you don’t care more for Langley’s protégée, Miss Dora."
"Oh, as to that, I like her well enough," she returned, a little coolly; "she is in good style and lady-like, only far too impulsive for my taste. She reminds me of Flo, and you know I always find Flo rather troublesome."
"Oh, about that, I like her just fine," she replied, a bit coolly; "she's well-dressed and proper, but way too impulsive for my liking. She reminds me of Flo, and you know I always find Flo a bit annoying."
"I know your conduct to your sisters is perfectly admirable," was the answer. "You have been a mother to them in every sense of the word. Why Flo perfectly adores you, Dora."
"I think the way you treat your sisters is truly admirable," was the reply. "You've been like a mother to them in every sense of the word. Flo absolutely adores you, Dora."
"I am used to being adored," she returned quietly. It had not escaped her notice that he had gone back to his old habit, and called her Dora; she rather liked it than otherwise. It was very pleasant lingering by the little gate in the sunset. She was quite aware how pretty a picture she made, with her uncovered hair, and the roses in the blue cambric. Garth, tall and dark, and in his grey working suit, made a splendid foil to her.
"I’m used to being adored," she replied softly. She noticed that he had returned to his old habit of calling her Dora; she actually liked it. It was nice to linger by the little gate in the sunset. She was fully aware of how lovely she looked, with her uncovered hair and the roses in the blue fabric. Garth, tall and dark in his gray work suit, was a striking contrast to her.
"Shall we take a turn on the terrace?" he asked in a low voice, unlatching the little gate as he spoke; but Dora shook her head. It would be very pleasant wandering there in the sunset with Garth Clayton; but then there were the girls, and Flo not sixteen yet. Things were progressing certainly, but perhaps, under the circumstances, it would not be wise to expedite matters. Her sisters must be introduced into society, and Beatrix must be trained to take her position at Crossgill Vicarage before she could turn her attentions to such things. There must be no loitering in the sunset just now; men were impressionable, and well, perhaps Garth's manner was a little different to-day; he certainly looked a little disconsolate over her refusal.
"Should we go out on the terrace?" he asked quietly, unlatching the small gate as he spoke; but Dora shook her head. It would be nice to stroll there during sunset with Garth Clayton, but then there were the girls, and Flo wasn't even sixteen yet. Things were definitely moving forward, but maybe, given the situation, it wouldn't be smart to rush things. Her sisters needed to be introduced to society, and Beatrix had to be prepared to take her role at Crossgill Vicarage before she could focus on those matters. There couldn’t be any lingering in the sunset right now; men could be easily influenced, and well, maybe Garth's behavior was a bit different today; he definitely looked a little sad about her refusal.
"I shall gather you some roses before you go; you won't refuse them I hope, Dora," he returned, somewhat discontentedly.
"I'll pick you some roses before you leave; I hope you won't turn them down, Dora," he replied, a bit unhappily.
"Yes, you may gather me some; but you must not call me Dora, please. It is a great pity, but we are not children now, and people will talk."
"Yes, you can collect some for me; but please don't call me Dora. It's a real shame, but we aren't kids anymore, and people will have something to say."
"Let them talk," returned Garth, now really provoked. He was very proud, and this repulse did not suit him. The sunset was inviting, and the shining little head beside him seemed to draw him with golden meshes. He was half serious and half jesting, but the mood and the hour had a certain sweetness not to be lightly lost; but if she chose to repulse him, well, it had not gone very far, and on the whole he preferred his freedom; but here Dora was looking at him pathetically with her blue eyes.
"Let them talk," Garth replied, feeling really annoyed. He was quite proud, and this rejection didn't sit well with him. The sunset was tempting, and the bright little head next to him seemed to pull him in with its golden charm. He was half serious and half joking, but the mood and the time had a certain sweetness that shouldn't be easily forgotten; however, if she wanted to push him away, it hadn't gone too far yet, and overall he preferred his freedom. But here was Dora, looking at him sadly with her blue eyes.
"Are you cross with me? one cannot always please one's self. Papa will want me; and one has so many duties," sighed the young diplomatist, "and cannot choose one's pleasures," looking at him slyly, but with a certain softness.
"Are you upset with me? You can't always please yourself. Dad will need me, and there are so many responsibilities," the young diplomat sighed, "and you can’t always choose your pleasures," glancing at him playfully, but with a hint of tenderness.
"No; you are very good. I suppose I am like other men, and want my own way. Do you think if you had more to do with me that you could cure me, Dora?"
"No; you're really great. I guess I'm like other guys and want things my way. Do you think if you spent more time with me you could fix me, Dora?"
"Hush, here comes Miss Marriott," she returned, laying her hand warningly on his arm. It was a very pretty hand, and showed well on the grey coat-sleeve. He had called her Dora again, but she did not again rebuke him; somehow his tenacity did not displease her. "He will be troublesome by-and-bye, but I think I shall be able to manage him," she thought, as she turned with a somewhat heightened color to the new-comer.
"Hush, here comes Miss Marriott," she said, placing her hand gently on his arm as a warning. It was a very pretty hand and looked good against the grey coat sleeve. He had called her Dora again, but she didn’t scold him this time; for some reason, his persistence didn’t bother her. "He’ll be a handful later, but I think I can handle him," she thought, as she turned to greet the newcomer, slightly flushed.
Queenie came between them as they fell apart; she was not thinking of them just now, but of something that she had schooled herself to say.
Queenie stepped in between them as they were falling apart; she wasn’t thinking about them at the moment, but rather about something she had trained herself to say.
"I told Langley that I must come after you, and she said that I was right. I wanted to say, Miss Cunningham, that I was wrong just now. I ought to have thanked you more for your interest and what you said to me; you meant it kindly, very kindly, I am sure." Queenie spoke in rather a measured voice, as though she were repeating a lesson; but Dora received the apology very graciously.
"I told Langley that I had to come after you, and she agreed that I was right. I wanted to say, Miss Cunningham, that I was wrong earlier. I should have expressed my gratitude more for your interest and what you said to me; you meant it kindly, very kindly, I’m sure." Queenie spoke in a rather controlled tone, as if she were reciting a lesson; but Dora accepted the apology very graciously.
"I thought you would think better of it, only you were so impulsive, and missed my meaning. People always take my advice in the end, they find it answers. They know that I take interest and want to help them."
"I thought you would reconsider, but you were so impulsive and missed what I meant. People always end up taking my advice; they find it helpful. They know that I care and want to support them."
"Yes; and I ought not to reject any well-meant kindness," returned Queenie, with still more effort, as she noticed Garth's keen survey of them both.
"Yeah; and I shouldn't turn down any genuine kindness," replied Queenie, making an even greater effort as she noticed Garth's careful observation of them both.
"I am glad that you have decided that we are to be friends and not enemies," replied Dora calmly, but half-amused by what she termed an exaggeration of feeling. "I know I shall get on with you better than with Miss Drake. She was such a very ordinary person, and dressed so very oddly."
"I’m glad you’ve decided we’re going to be friends instead of enemies," Dora replied calmly, though she was a bit amused by what she considered an over-the-top reaction. "I’m sure I’ll get along with you better than with Miss Drake. She was just so ordinary and dressed in such a strange way."
"There is no comparison between Miss Marriott and Miss Drake," interposed Garth, a little sharply. "Let every one stand on their own merits."
"There's no comparison between Miss Marriott and Miss Drake," Garth said, a bit sharply. "Everyone should be judged on their own merits."
"You are perfectly right," was the composed answer. "I am only glad that we all understand each other so well. I shall come and see you in your cottage, Miss Marriott, and then I am sure we shall become friends."
"You’re absolutely right," was the calm reply. "I’m just happy that we all understand each other so well. I’ll come to visit you at your cottage, Miss Marriott, and I’m sure we’ll become friends."
Queenie did not answer, but a rebellious flush rose to her cheek. She had come between them, and was still standing there on the little path. The children had planted their flowers and had gone home. The music had ceased, and the organist had closed the church. "Let us go back to the house and to Langley," observed Miss Cunningham a little impatiently, when the silence had lasted a moment. But as the girls walked back to the house side by side Garth did not accompany them. He was gathering roses.
Queenie didn’t respond, but a defiant blush crept onto her cheek. She had positioned herself between them and was still there on the small path. The kids had planted their flowers and had gone home. The music had stopped, and the organist had locked up the church. “Let’s head back to the house and to Langley,” Miss Cunningham said, a bit impatiently, when the silence lingered for a moment. But as the girls walked back to the house side by side, Garth didn’t join them. He was picking roses.
CHAPTER IV.
THE KING OF KARLDALE.
"I ask thee for a thoughtful love,
Through constant watching wise,
To meet the glad with joyful smiles,
And wipe the weeping eyes;
And a heart at leisure from itself,
To soothe and sympathize." L. Waring.
"I ask you for a caring love,
Through constant, thoughtful attention,
To greet the happy with joyful smiles,
And dry the crying eyes;
And a heart free from its own worries,
To comfort and empathize." L. Waring.
A few days after Miss Cunningham's visit Langley came into the room where the girls were sitting as usual, chatting merrily over their work.
A few days after Miss Cunningham's visit, Langley walked into the room where the girls were sitting as usual, chatting happily about their work.
"Cathy, do you think you could spare Queenie to us for a few hours?"
"Cathy, do you think you could lend us Queenie for a few hours?"
"That depends upon circumstances, my dear, was the cool response.
"That depends on the circumstances, my dear," was the calm reply.
"Because Garth and I want her. I have just had a letter from Gertrude, and she and Harry wish us to go over there to-morrow; she is very unwell, I fear, and Garth thinks it would be such a good opportunity to show Queenie the beauties of Karlsmere."
"Because Garth and I want her. I just received a letter from Gertrude, and she and Harry want us to come over there tomorrow; I’m afraid she isn't very well, and Garth thinks it would be a great chance to show Queenie the beauty of Karlsmere."
"Why should we not all go? Do go and coax him, Langley."
"Why shouldn't we all go? Go ahead and persuade him, Langley."
"Indeed I cannot," replied Langley earnestly. "Gertrude is such an invalid that we cannot fatigue her with numbers. No, it is no use teasing him," as Cathy made an impetuous movement to the door; "he has quite decided that he will only take Queenie and me. I thought it was very nice of him proposing it," with a deprecating glance at her sister's disappointed face; "it will be a treat for Queenie; and you know in another week or so she will have to begin work in earnest."
"Honestly, I can't," Langley replied seriously. "Gertrude is such a delicate person that we can't wear her out with numbers. No, there's no point in teasing him," as Cathy made a sudden movement toward the door; "he has completely decided that he will only take Queenie and me. I thought it was really nice of him to suggest that," with an apologetic glance at her sister's disappointed expression; "it will be a nice break for Queenie; and you know that in another week or so she’ll have to start working hard."
"You and Garth never care for me to go over to Karldale," began Cathy a little crossly, but Langley stopped her rather hurriedly. She was a trifle moved from her ordinary composure; her face looked more worn and anxious than usual; a nervous flush glowed in her thin cheeks.
"You and Garth never want me to go to Karldale," Cathy started a bit annoyingly, but Langley quickly interrupted her. She seemed a little off from her usual calm; her face looked more tired and worried than usual, and a nervous blush tinged her thin cheeks.
"My dear, you never will believe in Gertrude's ill-health. I am sadly troubled about her, and so is Garth."
"My dear, you will never believe how unwell Gertrude is. I'm really worried about her, and so is Garth."
"I have small sympathy for people who are always calling 'wolf,'" replied Cathy, taking up her work again. "I believe Gertrude's temper is most in fault."
"I have little sympathy for people who are always shouting 'wolf,'" replied Cathy, picking up her work again. "I think Gertrude's temper is mostly to blame."
"Then we will not argue about it," returned her sister, with a little sigh. She was very patient, but Cathy's mood evidently jarred on her. Cathy threw down her work again with such impatience that her needle broke as her sister left the room.
"Then we won't argue about it," her sister replied with a small sigh. She was very patient, but Cathy's mood clearly bothered her. Cathy tossed her work aside with such frustration that her needle snapped as her sister exited the room.
"Why will she give in to that woman's whims as she does! I can't understand it. Gertrude makes a perfect slave of her when she goes there, and actually Langley seems to like it. She is always going over there now; and she comes back tired out and fit for nothing."
"Why does she go along with that woman's demands like she does? I can't get it. Gertrude completely controls her whenever she visits, and surprisingly, Langley seems to enjoy it. She's always going over there now, and she comes back exhausted and useless."
"Do you know, I think it vexes Langley dreadfully when, you depreciate Mrs. Chester; I have noticed it more than once," observed Queenie, in her shrewd way.
"Do you know, I think it really annoys Langley when you put down Mrs. Chester; I've seen it happen more than once," Queenie pointed out, in her perceptive way.
"I know it does, and my wretched temper makes me do it all the more; but Langley is such a patient old dear that I hate to see her domineered over and victimized by a woman like Gertrude. When I see her with that worried look in her face I am always ten times more bitter; and then I am so fond of Harry, and Karlsmere would be so delicious this weather, and I own I was cross," continued Cathy, with the frankness that made her so lovable; "but of course you must go to please them, and Emmie and I will spend the day with Miss Cosie."
"I know it does, and my awful temper just makes it worse; but Langley is such a patient sweetheart that I hate to see her bossed around and hurt by someone like Gertrude. Whenever I see that worried look on her face, it makes me even more upset; and I really care about Harry, and Karlsmere would be so lovely in this weather, and I admit I was in a bad mood," Cathy continued, with the honesty that made her so endearing; "but of course you should go to please them, and Emmie and I will spend the day with Miss Cosie."
Queenie was thankful that the matter was so amicably settled; but since her friend was not to join in her pleasure she would not dwell on her own anticipations, delightful as they were; but in her heart she thought how good it was of Mr. Clayton to include her in their little trip. Since that day in the granite quarry his manner had insensibly changed to her; always kind and gentle, it was now tinged with stronger interest. A pleasant cordiality marked their intercourse; he was always thoughtful for her comfort and pleasure. Unconsciously, Queenie was beginning to depend for much of her present happiness upon this friendship with Garth Clayton. "It is almost as good as having a brother of my own," she said once to Cathy. Queenie's hard-working life, with its stern, morbid realities, had left her scant leisure for the ordinary dreams of girlhood. She had never mapped out any bright future for herself; possible lovers had not stolen across the sad margin of her thoughts. "Those things were not for her," she had said to herself. "Other women had a strong arm to lean upon, other women had fathers and brothers or husbands to work for them, and shield them in the battle of life; she had to work for herself and her helpless little sister, that was all. And so she took up her burthen bravely, neither repining that such things were, nor wasting her best energies with fruitless regrets for impossibilities. No vague sentimentalities preyed on her healthy young nature; no bitterness for her joyless youth marred her sweet serenity. Everything will be made up to us there, I am sure of it," she would say to herself, with tender, old-fashioned wisdom. "One day I shall get old, and not care so much about these things; perhaps Emmie will marry, and I shall be aunt Queenie, and take care of her and her children."
Queenie was grateful that the situation had been resolved so amicably; but since her friend wouldn’t be part of her joy, she chose not to focus on her own happy expectations, no matter how delightful they were. Instead, in her heart, she appreciated how kind Mr. Clayton was to include her in their little trip. Since that day in the granite quarry, his attitude towards her had subtly changed; always kind and gentle, it now carried a deeper interest. Their interactions were marked by a pleasant warmth; he was always considerate of her comfort and happiness. Unconsciously, Queenie was starting to rely on this friendship with Garth Clayton for much of her current joy. "It’s almost like having a brother of my own," she once told Cathy. Queenie's hard-working life, with its harsh, grim realities, had left her little time for the typical dreams of girlhood. She had never envisioned any bright future for herself; the possibility of lovers hadn’t crossed her mind in her sad moments. "Those things weren't meant for me," she had told herself. "Other women had a strong partner to lean on, fathers and brothers or husbands to support them and protect them in life’s struggles; I had to work for myself and my helpless little sister, and that was it." So, she carried her burden bravely, neither complaining about the circumstances nor wasting her energy on pointless regrets for what wasn’t possible. No vague sentimental feelings troubled her healthy young spirit; no bitterness about her joyless youth disrupted her sweet peace. "Everything will be made right for us there, I'm sure of it," she would tell herself with gentle, old-fashioned wisdom. "One day I’ll grow old and not worry so much about these things; maybe Emmie will get married, and I’ll be Aunt Queenie, taking care of her and her children."
And so, with the courage of perfect innocence, and with a simplicity that was perfectly free from self-consciousness, Queenie gave herself up to the delight of this new friendship. There was no one to warn her of danger; no one to bid the brave young heart shield itself with greater reserve and prudence, to question her of the meaning of this strange happiness that seemed to flood her whole being with brightness.
And so, with the courage of pure innocence and a simplicity that was completely free from self-consciousness, Queenie embraced the joy of this new friendship. There was no one to warn her of any danger; no one to tell the brave young heart to protect itself with more caution and thoughtfulness, to make her wonder about the meaning of this strange happiness that felt like it was filling her entire being with light.
"Every one is so good to me, and I am so happy," she said almost daily. When alone her thoughts were a perpetual thanksgiving. An insensible change had passed over her thoughts with respect to Garth, she was less critical; the defects and flaws of character she had at first noticed in him became less apparent; his slight arbitrariness, his condescension, his masterful assumption of power, even his lack of deep intellect were all unnoticed. If he spoke, Queenie was as ready to obey his behests as ever Langley or Cathy were. If his want of ambition, his perfect content with himself and his surroundings, sometimes surprised her, she began to credit him with greatness of mind; or if she were too shrewd for that, to own to herself that even his very faults were more lovable than other people's virtues.
"Everyone is so nice to me, and I'm so happy," she said almost every day. When she was alone, her thoughts were a constant expression of gratitude. A subtle shift had occurred in her views about Garth; she was less critical. The flaws and imperfections in his character that she had initially noticed became less obvious; his slight arrogance, condescension, his controlling nature, and even his lack of deep intelligence went unnoticed. If he spoke, Queenie was just as willing to follow his orders as Langley or Cathy had been. Although his lack of ambition and perfect self-content sometimes surprised her, she started to see him as possessing a great mind; or, if she was too perceptive for that, she admitted to herself that even his faults were more endearing than other people's virtues.
"He is a sort of Bayard; he is as courteous to me as though I were the greatest lady in the laud, instead of a village school-mistress," said the girl once with tears in her eyes, "And see how good he is to those old ladies at The Sycamores: he let Miss Hope talk to him for a whole hour about her Temperance Society, though I could see he was dreadfully bored by her. He never hurts people's feelings by letting them see that they trouble him."
"He’s like a knight; he treats me as if I were the most important lady in the land instead of just a village schoolteacher," the girl said once, with tears in her eyes. "And look how kind he is to those old ladies at The Sycamores: he let Miss Hope talk to him for an entire hour about her Temperance Society, even though I could tell he was really bored by her. He never hurts anyone's feelings by showing that they annoy him."
"My dear, Garth is perfection, and I am glad you have found it out," was Cathy's reply.
"My dear, Garth is perfect, and I'm glad you realized that," was Cathy's response.
Queenie found vent for her feelings in a grateful little speech when she next saw Garth. He came in at the drawing-room door, throwing his head back in his usual fashion, and shook himself like a rough terrier.
Queenie expressed her feelings in a thankful little speech when she saw Garth next. He entered through the drawing-room door, tossed his head back as he usually did, and shook himself like a scruffy terrier.
"What a dirty fellow I look, to be sure; the roads have quite powdered me. I hope we shall have rain before to-morrow."
"What a messy guy I look, for sure; the roads have really covered me in dust. I hope we get some rain before tomorrow."
"Oh, Mr. Clayton, I have been wanting to thank you ever since I heard it. It will be so delightful—to-morrow I mean."
"Oh, Mr. Clayton, I’ve been wanting to thank you ever since I heard it. It will be so delightful—tomorrow, I mean."
"That remains to be proved; we shall enjoy it all the more for having you with us," was the pleasant answer. "I have been waiting for an opportunity to drive you over to Karlsmere ever since you came. The lake is charming, and you will get quantities of parsley fern for your cottage garden. By-the-bye, I have been in there this morning, and the workmen are getting on famously; all the holes are stopped, and there's another coat of paint on. I hardly knew the place. We shall be losing you in another fortnight, I am afraid;" for Queenie had obstinately refused to burthen her friends with their presence a day longer than was necessary.
"That still needs to be proven; we’ll appreciate it even more with you joining us," was the cheerful reply. "I've been looking for a chance to take you over to Karlsmere ever since you arrived. The lake is lovely, and you'll find plenty of parsley fern for your cottage garden. By the way, I was there this morning, and the workers are making great progress; all the holes are filled, and there's another coat of paint on. I barely recognized the place. I’m afraid we’ll be losing you in another two weeks," since Queenie had stubbornly insisted on not overstaying her welcome with her friends any longer than necessary.
She tried to look pleased at this announcement; but a pang crossed her in spite of herself at the thought of leaving Church-Stile House. The cottage seemed dull by comparison. True, she should often see them, and Cathy would be in and out perpetually; but she would no longer be his guest, sharing in the pleasant every-day life of the family, making one in their plans, a party to their little jokes and pleasantries. "It is time for me to go, I am getting spoiled amongst you all. I feel I have been idle long enough," she said to her friend afterwards; but somehow she sighed as she said it.
She tried to act happy about the news; but she couldn't help feeling a pang at the thought of leaving Church-Stile House. The cottage felt boring in comparison. Sure, she'd see them often, and Cathy would be popping in and out all the time; but she wouldn't be his guest anymore, sharing in the family’s everyday life, involved in their plans, and part of their little jokes and banter. "It's time for me to go, I’m getting spoiled being around all of you. I feel like I've been lazy long enough," she told her friend later; but somehow she sighed as she said it.
The day at Karlsmere proved as delightful in reality as it was in anticipation. Garth was in one of his boyish, frolicsome moods. He and Queenie hunted for ferns, and gathered wild flowers, while Langley walked thoughtfully beside the margin of the beautiful lake. It was a golden day in Queenie's memory. How often she recalled that walk afterwards. The blue shimmering lake, so still and silent in the sunlight; the winding roads; the steep woody height on the farther bank; the pretty vicarage with its trim garden and the tiny church, reminding her of a small ill-furnished room. The tall athletic figure in the grey suit, vaulting lightly over the crisp bracken high above them; the handful of wild flowers tossed laughingly at her feet; Langley standing on a smooth white boulder, looking with grave unsmiling eyes at the baby waves lapping to her feet. How well she recalled it all.
The day at Karlsmere turned out to be just as wonderful as she had hoped. Garth was in one of his playful, energetic moods. He and Queenie searched for ferns and picked wildflowers, while Langley walked thoughtfully along the edge of the beautiful lake. It was a day Queenie would always remember. She often thought back to that walk. The shimmering blue lake, so calm and quiet in the sunlight; the winding paths; the steep wooded hill across the water; the charming vicarage with its neat garden and the little church, which reminded her of a small, sparsely furnished room. The tall, athletic guy in the gray suit, leaping lightly over the crisp bracken high above them; the handful of wildflowers he tossed playfully at her feet; Langley standing on a smooth white rock, staring with serious, unsmiling eyes at the tiny waves lapping at her feet. She remembered it all so well.
"There's Harry coming to meet us," shouted Garth; but Langley did not hear him. She stood in that strange, self-absorbed attitude, motionless and oblivious, till Nan ran up to her and pulled her dress; and then the color rushed over her pale face with surprise, and she stooped and pressed the child closely to her.
"There's Harry coming to meet us," shouted Garth; but Langley didn't hear him. She stood there in that odd, self-absorbed way, still and unaware, until Nan ran up to her and tugged at her dress; then the color flooded her pale face with surprise, and she bent down and hugged the child tightly.
"Little Nan, my dear little Nan," she whispered.
"Little Nan, my sweet little Nan," she whispered.
"I am father's Nan," lisped the child. "I am nobody's Nan but father's. Father's up there," pointing with her fore-finger to the rocks above them. "He and Jeb are both there. I carried Jeb, but he was heavy, and my arms did ache."
"I am Dad's Nan," the child said with a lisp. "I'm nobody's Nan but Dad's. Dad's up there," she said, pointing with her index finger to the rocks above them. "He and Jeb are both up there. I carried Jeb, but he was heavy, and my arms really hurt."
"Yes, you are father's Nan," repeated Langley dreamily; "father's little comforter;" and as she kissed the little face a sudden mist rose before her eyes.
"Yes, you are dad's Nan," Langley repeated, lost in thought; "dad's little comforter;" and as she kissed the small face, a sudden mist appeared before her eyes.
"Why are your eyes wet when you kiss me?" questioned Nan curiously, "and why do you always kiss me so close, so close? Mammie never does; but only father, only father and you."
"Why are your eyes watery when you kiss me?" Nan asked with curiosity. "And why do you always kiss me so close, so close? Mom never does; only Dad, only Dad and you."
"Hush, Nan; I love you. Do you hear me, Nan? I love you dearly, dearly." Langley spoke in a strange, stifled voice, but the child only gazed at her in surprise.
"Hush, Nan; I love you. Do you hear me, Nan? I love you so much, so much." Langley spoke in a weird, choked voice, but the child just looked at her in surprise.
"You need not cry about it. You know father loves me too, but he never cries over me. Mammie does; but then she pushes me away."
"You don't need to cry about it. You know Dad loves me too, but he never cries over me. Mom does; but then she pushes me away."
"Ah, poor mother is ill, you know."
"Ah, poor mom is sick, you know."
Nan reflected a moment gravely. "Yes; her head did ache. She said 'Go away, Nan, you tire me; go to father and Jeb;' and I did go. Mammie does not love Nan much."
Nan thought for a moment, looking serious. "Yeah, her head hurt. She said, 'Leave me alone, Nan, you're exhausting me; go to Dad and Jeb;' and I did. Mom doesn't really love Nan that much."
"Oh, hush, my darling, hush! poor mother!"
"Oh, be quiet, my love, be quiet! Poor mom!"
"She did often say 'Go away, Nan; Nan is naughty.' But Nan is good, always good; father says so."
"She often said, 'Go away, Nan; Nan is being naughty.' But Nan is good, always good; Dad says so."
"What are you talking to Langley about, you little chatter-box? Here is Jeb whining his heart out for you," called out Mr. Chester from the bank above them. "Stay where you are, pet, and father will come and carry you."
"What are you talking about with Langley, you little chatterbox? Here’s Jeb down here, pouring his heart out for you," Mr. Chester called from the bank above them. "Stay where you are, sweetheart, and Dad will come and carry you."
"Father's coming," echoed Nan placidly. She stood quite quiet and patiently while he talked to Langley; but when he lifted her in his arms she seemed to nestle into them with a little coo of content. Once or twice during their walk her father stooped over her and peered into the white sun-bonnet rather anxiously.
"Father's coming," Nan said calmly. She stood quietly and patiently while he talked to Langley, but when he picked her up in his arms, she seemed to snuggle into them with a soft coo of happiness. A couple of times during their walk, her father leaned down and looked into the white sun-bonnet with some concern.
"She is not quite as strong as she was, and seems to tire sooner," he said to Langley. "Gertrude tells me I am wrong to let the child go about so much in the heat. But what am I to do? When I leave her at home she makes herself ill with fretting. Naughty Nan," in a tone of infinite tenderness.
"She isn't as strong as she used to be and seems to get tired more easily," he said to Langley. "Gertrude says I shouldn't let the kid be out so much in the heat. But what can I do? When I leave her at home, she gets sick from worrying. Naughty Nan," he said with endless affection.
"Nan always good," was the somewhat drowsy answer.
"Nan's always good," was the somewhat sleepy reply.
"God bless her, so she is, my little white angel. Look at her, Langley; this is just what she does: she always falls asleep in my arms like this. Sometimes she is so heavy that I am obliged to put her down. I wonder how I should feel if I were a poor man on the tramp, with my child in my arms, and the world before me. I wonder, too, what mammie would do without us," as Nan opened her dark eyes, roused by the suppressed vehemence of her father's voice.
"God bless her, she really is my little white angel. Look at her, Langley; this is what she does: she always falls asleep in my arms like this. Sometimes she’s so heavy that I have to put her down. I wonder how I would feel if I were a poor man on the run, with my child in my arms, and the whole world in front of me. I also wonder what mom would do without us," as Nan opened her dark eyes, awakened by the quiet intensity of her father's voice.
"Mammy did say 'Go away, Nan; Nan makes mammy's head to ache.'"
"Mammy said, 'Go away, Nan; Nan gives mammy a headache.'"
"I am afraid mammy says that far too often," was the somewhat bitter reply. "It seems hard for a mother never to be able to bear her child's presence."
"I’m afraid mom says that way too often," was the somewhat bitter reply. "It seems really tough for a mother to never be able to handle being around her child."
"Hush! Miss Marriott will hear you, Harry!" interposed Langley, gently. Mr. Chester looked round and shook his head.
"Hush! Miss Marriott will hear you, Harry!" Langley said softly. Mr. Chester glanced around and shook his head.
"No; they are too far behind, and seem engrossed with each other's conversation. Look here, Langley, we are old friends, and you know all our troubles, and I tell you truly, things are getting worse every day."
"No; they’re too far behind and seem lost in their own conversation. Look, Langley, we’re old friends, and you know all our struggles, and I’m telling you the truth, things are getting worse every day."
Langley's pale face turned paler, but she made no answer.
Langley's pale face got even paler, but she didn't respond.
"Sometimes I think if I could only see Gertrude happy and contented I should not mind what became of me; I wear out my heart to please her. I do not think she has ever heard a harsh word from me since I married her; can any husband do more?"
"Sometimes I think that if I could just see Gertrude happy and content, I wouldn't care what happened to me; I put my heart into making her happy. I don't think she’s ever heard a harsh word from me since we got married; can any husband do more?"
"No, indeed; you are good, very good, to her," was the almost inaudible reply.
"No, really; you are kind, very kind, to her," was the almost inaudible reply.
"And yet it has come to this, that I have no wife and no home, for without sympathy how can one be said to possess either. If she would only greet me with a smile sometimes; if she had a kind word for me or this child; but you heard what she said just now. She is a sensitive little creature, and I fully believe her mother's indifference pains her."
"And yet here I am, without a wife and without a home, because without compassion, how can one truly have either? If she would just greet me with a smile occasionally; if she had a kind word for me or for this child; but you heard what she said just now. She is a delicate little being, and I genuinely believe her mother's indifference hurts her."
"Harry, indeed, indeed, you must not be hard upon Gertrude; if you only knew how she suffers."
"Harry, really, you shouldn't be so hard on Gertrude; if you only knew how much she’s hurting."
"Do I not know it? She will not be long with us, my poor Gertie, I am sure of that; she is wasting every day, Langley; Dr. Marshall says so. That is what makes it so bitter to think there can be no peace now. If I could only make her happy; if I could be sure that she has not repented of marrying me; but sometimes I think that if I had left her amongst her own people she would not be pining herself to death as she is now."
"Don't I know it? She won't be with us for much longer, my poor Gertie, I'm sure of it; she's fading every day, Langley; Dr. Marshall says so. That’s what makes it so hard to accept that there can be no peace now. If only I could make her happy; if only I could be sure she doesn’t regret marrying me; but sometimes I think that if I had left her with her own people, she wouldn’t be wasting away like she is now."
A look of intense pain crossed Langley's face.
A look of intense pain crossed Langley's face.
"You must not think that."
"Don't think that."
"But how am I to help it, when I see her drooping and wasting before my eyes, my own wife, whom I have sworn to cherish? Sometimes I dread that she will tell me so; and then, how am I to bear it?"
"But how can I help it when I see her fading away before my eyes, my own wife, whom I promised to cherish? Sometimes I fear she will say something about it; and then, how will I be able to handle that?"
"Gertrude will never tell you so;" but Mr. Chester shook his head. "She will never tell you so," repeated Langley in a steadier voice. "In spite of her unhappy nature Gertrude is a good woman. Harry, you always listen to me as if—as if I were your sister; do try and believe what I say this once."
"Gertrude will never tell you that," but Mr. Chester shook his head. "She will never tell you that," Langley repeated in a steadier voice. "Despite her unhappy nature, Gertrude is a good woman. Harry, you always listen to me as if I were your sister; please try to believe me this time."
"What am I to believe?"
"What should I believe?"
"That it is not your fault. Gertrude says you are goodness itself to her and the child; sometimes she speaks of you both so tenderly. Why will you not go on bearing things as you have done, so patiently, so nobly, and trust that Providence will bring good out of all this evil?"
"That it’s not your fault. Gertrude says you're nothing but kind to her and the child; sometimes she talks about you both so lovingly. Why won’t you keep handling everything like you have, so patiently, so bravely, and believe that fate will turn all this bad into something good?"
"Then you think that there is nothing that I can do for her. I half hoped that you would find out something that she wanted, some wish that she might express."
"Then you think that there's nothing I can do for her. I kinda hoped you would discover something she wanted, some wish she might share."
"Then I will let you know," replied Langley, with assumed cheerfulness. In reality her heart was as heavy as lead, the talk had oppressed her. Ever ready with her sympathy she had yet found it hard to comfort him. What comfort could there be in such a home—a hasty, ill-assorted marriage, defective sympathy, inequalities of temper, physical sufferings impatiently borne, the daily burthen of sickness without ameliorating circumstances, and all this patiently, nay, heroically endured. What was she to say but that he was blameless? Whose fault was it that all this had come upon him? that he was walking by her side, groaning aloud for once in the very heaviness of his spirit? What could her words be to him but meaningless truisms, that must fall flatly on his ear? Had she any comfort at all to offer him? was not such comfort placed beyond his reach and hers for ever?
"Then I’ll let you know," replied Langley, trying to sound cheerful. But inside, her heart felt as heavy as lead; the conversation had weighed her down. Always ready to offer sympathy, she still found it difficult to comfort him. What kind of comfort could exist in such a home—a hasty, poorly matched marriage, a lack of true understanding, mood swings, physical pain endured with impatience, the daily burden of illness without any chance of improvement, and all of this patiently, even heroically, endured? What could she possibly say except that he was blameless? Whose fault was it that all of this had happened to him? That he was walking beside her, openly lamenting the heaviness of his spirit? What could her words mean to him other than empty clichés that would just fall flat? Did she have any real comfort to give? Wasn't that kind of comfort forever out of reach for both of them?
Unconsciously she slackened her pace as such thoughts came to her, and in a few minutes the others joined them, and the conversation became general.
Unknowingly, she slowed down as those thoughts crossed her mind, and in a few minutes, the others caught up with them, and the conversation became lively.
Queenie was delighted with the look of the Grange, as Mr. Chester's house was called. It was a rambling grey stone house, standing just at the head of the lake; a picturesque old archway embosomed with ivy admitted them into a place half garden, half orchard, with a low fence dividing it from the crofts; the large square hall was used as a summer sitting-room. From the inner room a tall dark-eyed woman advanced languidly to meet them, wrapped up, in spite of the summer day, in a costly Indian shawl.
Queenie was thrilled with the sight of the Grange, which was what Mr. Chester's house was called. It was a sprawling grey stone house located right at the edge of the lake; a charming old archway covered in ivy welcomed them into a space that was part garden, part orchard, with a low fence separating it from the fields. The large square hall served as a summer living room. From the inner room, a tall dark-eyed woman stepped forward slowly to greet them, wrapped up, despite the warm summer day, in an expensive Indian shawl.
"Well, Gertie, I have brought your friends," exclaimed her husband, cheerfully; "I met them half way down the lake. I hope you have not been expecting us before."
"Well, Gertie, I brought your friends," her husband said happily. "I ran into them halfway down the lake. I hope you weren't waiting for us to arrive sooner."
"You must have dawdled on your way then," returned Mrs. Chester fretfully, "for I have been waiting for at least an hour, until I thought I should have been too nervous to receive them; but that is the way when you get with Langley, Harry, you never remember poor me."
"You must have taken your time on your way then," Mrs. Chester replied irritably, "because I've been waiting for at least an hour, and I thought I would get too anxious to receive them; but that's how it is when you hang out with Langley, Harry—you never think of poor me."
"I am sure we walked here straight enough," replied Mr. Chester hastily; but Langley, with a sweet look, stopped him.
"I’m sure we walked here straight enough," replied Mr. Chester quickly; but Langley, with a sweet smile, held him back.
"We have ventured to bring our friend, Miss Marriott, Gertrude; Garth wanted to show her Karlsmere. She knows what an invalid you are, and will not make any demands on your strength. Now you must go and establish yourself comfortably on your couch, while Queenie and I get rid of some of our dust, and Harry puts dear little Nan in her crib."
"We’ve brought our friend, Miss Marriott, Gertrude; Garth wanted to show her Karlsmere. She knows about your health and won’t expect too much from you. Now you should make yourself comfortable on the couch while Queenie and I tidy up a bit and Harry puts sweet little Nan in her crib."
"I tell Harry that he is killing that child, by dragging her about in the sun," rejoined Mrs. Chester, with a shrug of her shoulders. "He will not listen to me. One would think he had a dozen children, and could afford to lose one or two; but there, it is no use my talking to him."
"I tell Harry that he’s harming that child by dragging her around in the sun," Mrs. Chester replied, shrugging her shoulders. "He won't listen to me. You would think he had a dozen kids and could afford to lose one or two; but it’s pointless to talk to him."
"Why, Gertie, I thought you said that your head was bad, and that Nan was worrying you," observed her husband in a deprecating voice.
"Why, Gertie, I thought you said your head was hurting and that Nan was stressing you out," her husband remarked in a self-deprecating tone.
"Well, but she might be playing up-stairs with her Noah's Ark. Of course I am only a mother, and don't understand children; but look how flushed her face is, Langley."
"Well, she could be upstairs playing with her Noah's Ark. Of course, I'm just a mom and don’t really understand kids, but look at how flushed her face is, Langley."
"She is only rosy with sleep," interrupted Garth, stooping to kiss her. "What a pretty little face it is! She is more like you than Harry," continued the artful young diplomatist; "she has got your eyes and eyelashes, Mrs. Chester."
"She’s just flushed from sleep," interrupted Garth, leaning down to kiss her. "What a cute little face! She looks more like you than Harry," the clever young diplomat continued, "she’s got your eyes and eyelashes, Mrs. Chester."
"Yes; she is very like you, Gertie," replied her husband eagerly. "Garth is right; I never saw it so plainly before."
"Yeah, she really looks like you, Gertie," her husband said excitedly. "Garth is right; I've never noticed it so clearly before."
"Other people have always seen it," was the somewhat pointed answer.
"Other people have always noticed it," was the somewhat pointed answer.
"Oh, Langley, I don't like her at all," exclaimed Queenie, when she found herself alone with Langley in the large pleasant room overlooking the crofts. "I always thought Cathy was prejudiced; but I think her so—so disagreeable."
"Oh, Langley, I really don’t like her at all," Queenie said when she found herself alone with Langley in the big, nice room overlooking the fields. "I always thought Cathy was biased; but I find her just so—so unpleasant."
"She has been waiting for us, you see, and that always makes her nervous; one must make allowance for an invalid's humor."
"She has been waiting for us, you know, and that always makes her anxious; you have to consider an invalid's mood."
"Some invalids are quite pleasant," returned Queenie stoutly. "There is a fretful chord in her voice that jars somehow. She is very slim and elegant, and I suppose some people would call her handsome; but I don't like her gloomy dark eyes, and her mouth goes down at the corners. I always distrust people's tempers when I see that."
"Some people with disabilities are really nice," Queenie replied confidently. "There’s an annoying tone in her voice that just doesn’t sit right. She’s really slim and elegant, and I guess some might say she’s beautiful; but I don’t like her sad, dark eyes, and her mouth turns down at the corners. I always get uneasy about people's moods when I notice that."
"I did not know that you were such an observer, my dear."
"I didn't realize you were such an observer, my dear."
"I know when people's faces please me, and when I shall get to love them," was the oracular rejoinder. "I could never love Mrs. Chester, Langley, though I might get to pity her in time," and Langley attempted no further defence.
"I can tell when someone's face makes me happy and when I might come to love them," was the wise reply. "I could never love Mrs. Chester, Langley, although I might come to feel sorry for her eventually," and Langley made no further argument.
Queenie found her first impressions only deepened as the day went on. There was a carping fretfulness in Mrs. Chester's manner to her husband that must have provoked a less sweet temper, but at times he scarcely seemed to notice it. When the child was in the room she seemed to engross all his attention; when she was absent he appeared restless and ill-at-ease. "She can be pleasant to every one but to him," Queenie thought to herself. "Cathy was right when she said that she detested that woman."
Queenie found that her first impressions only deepened as the day went on. There was a nagging irritation in Mrs. Chester's way of addressing her husband that would have tested a less patient person, but at times he barely seemed to notice. When the child was in the room, she seemed to capture all his attention; when she was gone, he looked uneasy and restless. "She can be nice to everyone except him," Queenie thought. "Cathy was right when she said she couldn't stand that woman."
But even Queenie and Cathy might have found some pity in their youthful intolerance if they had overheard the brief fragments of a conversation that passed between Mrs. Chester and Langley.
But even Queenie and Cathy might have felt some sympathy for their youthful stubbornness if they had overheard the short snippets of a conversation that took place between Mrs. Chester and Langley.
"Oh, Gertrude, I know it is hard; but if you would only try, for his and the child's sake, to control yourself a little; you do not know how unhappy you are making him."
"Oh, Gertrude, I know it’s tough, but if you could just try, for his sake and the child's, to hold it together a bit; you don’t realize how unhappy you’re making him."
"Does he complain of me to you?" she demanded fiercely; "that would be manly and generous on his part."
"Does he talk bad about me to you?" she asked fiercely; "that would be bold and generous of him."
"Do you want me to leave off talking to you?" replied Langley in a tone of genuine grief. "Oh, Gertrude, Gertrude, what will you say next? Do you wish to know what he did really say? He asked me if there was nothing he could do for you. He begged me to find out if there was any wish that he could gratify; he—but I cannot repeat it. If you had only heard what he said!"
"Do you want me to stop talking to you?" Langley replied, sounding truly sad. "Oh, Gertrude, Gertrude, what will you say next? Do you really want to know what he said? He asked me if there was anything he could do for you. He begged me to find out if there was any wish he could fulfill; he—but I can't repeat it. If only you had heard what he said!"
Mrs. Chester rose feverishly from her couch and caught hold of Langley's dress.
Mrs. Chester jumped up anxiously from her couch and grabbed Langley's dress.
"There it is. No, don't turn from me, don't look so shocked; you know it is his very goodness that makes me worse. Why is he so good to me when I try him so? Sometimes I think that I am possessed with some sort of evil spirit; I can't help tormenting him. Oh, Langley, why did he insist on my marrying him? why did he not leave me in my old home when he knew, when I told him, that I could not ever care for him as I could for that other? when—" but Langley stopped her with a face of horror.
"There it is. No, don’t turn away from me, don’t look so shocked; you know it’s his kindness that makes me worse. Why is he so nice to me when I test him like this? Sometimes I think I must be possessed by some kind of evil spirit; I can’t help but torment him. Oh, Langley, why did he insist on me marrying him? Why didn’t he just let me stay in my old home when he knew, when I told him, that I could never care for him the way I did for that other? When—" but Langley stopped her with a look of horror.
"Hush! don't mention his name! Harry's wife can have no remembrance of that sort. You are a good woman, Gertrude; I have always said so."
"Hush! Don't say his name! Harry's wife shouldn't remember that. You're a good woman, Gertrude; I've always said that."
"No, no," she returned, bursting into tears; "don't judge me out of your merciful heart, Langley. I have never been a good wife to Harry, and I never shall. I try to forget, but the effort is killing me. Oh, why did he not leave me in my old home, and not have doomed us both to this misery?"
"No, no," she replied, bursting into tears; "don't judge me with your kind heart, Langley. I've never been a good wife to Harry, and I never will be. I try to forget, but the effort is killing me. Oh, why didn't he just leave me in my old home and spare us both this misery?"
"Hush! you are not yourself to-day! I cannot hear you talk any more in this way;" and Langley rose, pale and resolute. "Put yourself and your unhappiness aside, it is too late to talk of such things now; think only of the duty you owe to Harry and your little child."
"Hush! You're not yourself today! I can't handle you talking like this anymore," Langley said as he stood up, looking pale yet determined. "Set aside your feelings and your unhappiness; it's too late to discuss those things now. Focus only on the duty you owe to Harry and your little child."
"Yes, my little child, who will so soon be without a mother," she returned, weeping passionately; but Langley only stooped over her with sad dry eyes, and, kissing her, bade God bless her, and turned away.
"Yes, my little child, who will soon be without a mother," she replied, crying hard; but Langley just leaned over her with sad, dry eyes, kissed her, wished her God's blessing, and walked away.
CHAPTER V.
A GOLDEN HARVEST.
"Yes; keep me calm, though loud and rude
The sounds my ears that greet;
Calm in the closet's solitude,
Calm in the bustling street;
Calm in the hour of buoyant health,
Calm in my hour of pain;
Calm in my poverty or wealth,
Calm in my loss or gain."—Bonar.
"Yes; keep me composed, even with the loud and rude
Sounds that greet my ears;
Composed in the quiet of my room,
Composed in the busy street;
Composed in times of good health,
Composed when I’m in pain;
Composed in my moments of poverty or wealth,
Composed in my losses or gains."—Bonar.
It had been arranged that Queenie should return to Carlisle for a day or two before entering on her new duties, leaving Emmie behind her at Church-Stile House. She must bid good-bye to her old friend, Caleb Runciman, and redeem her promise of seeing Mr. Calcott again. A brisk correspondence had been kept up between her and Caleb. The old man had expressed himself well satisfied with her plans, though many and sore were his regrets at losing her and his little favorite. "I told Mr. Calcott your intention, as you wished me, my dear," wrote Caleb, in his cramped neat hand. "He received the news in silence, but after a while he muttered, 'Well, well, it will do for a time; but it seems strange. Frank Marriott's daughter a village school-mistress!' and then he asked, querulously, if the girl were coming back? I think he misses you, my dear, though not more than I do; and what we shall do without you and the precious lamb is more than Molly and I can tell; but she has got your old room ready, and has baked a first-rate cake; and there's a warm welcome waiting for you, Miss Queenie, my dear; so no more at present, from your attached friend, Caleb Runciman."
It was arranged for Queenie to return to Carlisle for a day or two before starting her new job, leaving Emmie behind at Church-Stile House. She needed to say goodbye to her old friend, Caleb Runciman, and fulfill her promise to see Mr. Calcott again. She had kept up a lively correspondence with Caleb. The old man was pleased with her plans, though he had many regrets about losing her and his little favorite. "I told Mr. Calcott your plans, as you asked me to, my dear," wrote Caleb in his tidy, cramped handwriting. "He took the news quietly, but after a while, he muttered, 'Well, well, it will work for now; but it feels strange. Frank Marriott's daughter a village schoolteacher!' and then he asked, a bit irritably, if the girl was coming back? I think he misses you, my dear, but not more than I do; and what we’ll do without you and the precious lamb is beyond what Molly and I can figure out; but she has your old room ready and has baked a fantastic cake; and there’s a warm welcome waiting for you, Miss Queenie, my dear; so that’s all for now, from your devoted friend, Caleb Runciman."
The day after their return from Karlsmere, as they were sitting at breakfast, Garth looked up rather suddenly from the paper he was reading. "Miss Marriott, I am afraid you have lost a friend," he said, rather abruptly. "Andrew Calcott of Carlisle is dead!"
The day after their return from Karlsmere, as they were having breakfast, Garth suddenly looked up from the paper he was reading. "Miss Marriott, I'm afraid you've lost a friend," he said, rather abruptly. "Andrew Calcott of Carlisle has died!"
"Uncle Andrew! Oh, poor Uncle Andrew!" exclaimed Emmie, mournfully; but Queenie only started and turned pale.
"Uncle Andrew! Oh, poor Uncle Andrew!" Emmie exclaimed sadly; but Queenie just flinched and went pale.
"By some mistake the announcement has been postponed; he died three days ago. Ah, there is the postman coming up the walk. I should not be surprised if you have another letter from your old friend, Mr. Runciman."
"By some mistake, the announcement has been postponed; he died three days ago. Ah, there’s the postman coming up the walk. I wouldn’t be surprised if you get another letter from your old friend, Mr. Runciman."
Garth was right; but Queenie rose from the table and carried off the letter to read in the privacy of her own room. Cathy found her quietly crying over it when she went up some time afterwards.
Garth was right; but Queenie got up from the table and took the letter to read in the privacy of her own room. Cathy discovered her quietly crying over it when she went up a little later.
"I did not think I should have minded it so much," she said, drying her eyes as Cathy entered; "but it seems so dreadful, his dying alone in the night, with no one near him. Perhaps Caleb was right, and he may have passed away in his sleep."
"I didn't think I would be so upset," she said, wiping her tears as Cathy came in; "but it feels so terrible, him dying alone at night, with no one around. Maybe Caleb was right, and he could have died in his sleep."
"Is that all they know about it?"
"Is that everything they know about it?"
"Yes; they just went up in the morning, and found him lying there quite cold, with a smile on his face. He never would let any one stay in his room; that was one of his peculiarities. Caleb knew this would happen one night, but he seems dreadfully down about it. I am to go over next Thursday, you know, and he says this need not make any difference."
"Yes; they just went up in the morning and found him lying there, quite cold, with a smile on his face. He never let anyone stay in his room; that was one of his quirks. Caleb knew this would happen one night, but he seems really upset about it. I’m supposed to go over next Thursday, and he says this shouldn’t make any difference."
"You will be sorry that you have not seen him again."
"You'll regret not seeing him again."
"Yes; it is that that troubles me. I cannot bear to think that I have been enjoying myself all this time, and that he has been missing me. I remember now, that he seemed to think that it was good-bye."
"Yeah; that’s what’s bothering me. I can’t stand the thought that I’ve been having a good time while he’s been missing me. I remember now, he seemed to believe it was goodbye."
Queenie's bright spirits were quenched for the remainder of the day. Her tender heart was grieved by the thought of the lonely death-bed. Garth found her looking still pale and depressed when he came back from the works. To distract her thoughts he took her and Cathy for a long country walk, from which they did not return until late in the evening. He had never been more gentle to her, Queenie remembered afterwards. He and Cathy had restrained their high spirits, and had only talked to her of what roused and interested her—of the school, the cottage, and plans for her new life. Walking back in the moonlight, their conversation flowed in graver channels. He and Cathy talked of their mother; and Queenie for the first time had a clue to the passionate devotion with which Garth regarded her memory.
Queenie's cheerful mood was dampened for the rest of the day. The thought of the lonely deathbed weighed heavily on her sensitive heart. When Garth returned from work, he found her looking pale and downcast. To take her mind off things, he took her and Cathy for a long walk in the countryside, and they didn't get back until late in the evening. Queenie remembered later how gentle he had been with her. He and Cathy had toned down their usual energy and only talked to her about things that sparked her interest—like the school, the cottage, and plans for her new life. As they walked back in the moonlight, their conversation shifted to more serious topics. Garth and Cathy spoke about their mother, and for the first time, Queenie got a glimpse of the deep love and devotion Garth felt for her memory.
She bade good-bye to her friends rather sadly when the day arrived for her to go back to Carlisle. She was only to be absent three days, and yet the separation caused her an effort. Why had the place grown so suddenly dear to her that it cost her a pang only to turn her back upon it?
She said goodbye to her friends with a heavy heart when the day came for her to return to Carlisle. She would only be gone for three days, yet the separation felt difficult. Why had the place become so important to her that it hurt to leave it behind?
Garth and Cathy accompanied her to the station.
Garth and Cathy went with her to the station.
"I do not know what I shall do without you, Queen," exclaimed her friend, disconsolately.
"I don’t know what I’m going to do without you, Queen," her friend said sadly.
"We shall all miss you, Miss Marriott," echoed Garth, brightly. "Take care of yourself, and come back to us as soon as you can." And the pleasant words lingered long in her memory.
"We're all going to miss you, Miss Marriott," Garth said cheerfully. "Take care of yourself, and come back to us as soon as you can." Those kind words stayed with her for a long time.
But, in spite of herself, her journey was a dull one. Mr. Calcott's sudden death still oppressed her. The day was sultry and sunless; heavy thunder-clouds brooded on the edge of the horizon; the air was surcharged with electricity; a storm seemed impending. It broke upon her long before she arrived at her destination. Queenie sat quietly in her place and watched the fierce play of the elements, half fascinated and half bewildered; a vague excitement seemed roused in her, a strange disturbance and sense of change oppressed her.
But, despite her efforts, her journey was pretty uneventful. Mr. Calcott's sudden death still weighed on her. The day was humid and overcast; heavy thunderclouds loomed on the horizon; the air felt charged with electricity; a storm seemed like it was about to hit. It unleashed itself on her long before she reached her destination. Queenie sat quietly in her seat and watched the intense display of the elements, feeling both captivated and confused; a vague thrill stirred inside her, a strange unease and sense of change weighed down on her.
"I am just the same, and yet I feel different," she said to herself; "I suppose this storm excites me. I wonder if he meant it when he said he would miss me, or if it was only his way; he must always say something pleasant. I wonder if he would be very sorry if I were never to come back. Would it make any difference to him, really? They are all going to the Abbey this evening; how I wish I could be with them; but this is unkind to my poor Caleb. I am ashamed to think how selfish I am getting. I will try not to think of Hepshaw or Church-Stile House until Monday;" but, in spite of her good resolutions, her thoughts had travelled there again before another half-hour had elapsed.
"I feel the same, but at the same time, I feel different," she said to herself. "I guess this storm is exciting me. I wonder if he really meant it when he said he would miss me, or if it was just his way of saying things; he always tries to say something nice. I wonder if he would be really upset if I never came back. Would it actually matter to him? They’re all going to the Abbey this evening; how I wish I could join them, but that feels unfair to my poor Caleb. I’m embarrassed to think about how selfish I’m becoming. I’ll try not to think about Hepshaw or Church-Stile House until Monday," but despite her best intentions, her mind had drifted there again within half an hour.
The storm had ceased, but the rain was still pouring steadily down as Queenie plodded through the streets of Carlisle. She had to pass Granite Lodge on her way to Caleb's; but the sight of the grim portico made her shiver and avert her eyes. She gave quite a sigh of relief when she found herself in the dark entry of Caleb's house, with Molly's bright face smiling at her.
The storm had ended, but the rain was still pouring down steadily as Queenie made her way through the streets of Carlisle. She had to pass Granite Lodge on her way to Caleb's; however, the sight of the imposing entrance made her shiver and look away. She let out a sigh of relief when she found herself in the dark hallway of Caleb's house, greeted by Molly's cheerful face.
"Ay, the master's in there. Master, master, here's our young lady come an hour before her time," vociferated the good woman, dropping curtseys profusely in her excitement.
"Ay, the master's in there. Master, master, here's our young lady who's arrived an hour early," shouted the good woman, dropping curtsies excitedly.
"Why, Molly, my dear creature, you need, not to be so ceremonious," exclaimed Queenie, pressing the hard hand between both her own; "it is only Miss Queenie; surely you have not forgotten me in this little time."
"Come on, Molly, my dear, there’s no need to be so formal," Queenie said, holding the stiff hand between both of hers. "It's just Miss Queenie; surely you haven't forgotten me in this short time."
"No; but I must not forget my manners to my betters," returned Molly, coloring and dropping another hurried curtsey. "But go in there, my dear young lady. I think he is a bit dazed with his sleep, or something, or he would have come out to meet you."
"No; but I shouldn't forget my manners around those who are my superiors," Molly replied, blushing and quickly curtsying again. "But go ahead in there, my dear young lady. I think he's a bit out of it from his sleep or something; otherwise, he would have come out to greet you."
Caleb rose from his chair rather feebly as she entered; his blue eyes had certainly a dazed look in them.
Caleb got up from his chair a bit unsteadily as she walked in; his blue eyes definitely looked dazed.
"Miss Queenie, my dear," he said, rather tremulously, "I am not so young as I was, and things sadly upset me. Molly is a good creature, but her intelligence is limited. I have wanted you badly the last few days, you and the precious lamb."
"Miss Queenie, my dear," he said, a bit nervously, "I'm not as young as I used to be, and things really get to me. Molly is a nice person, but she's not very bright. I've really missed you the last few days, you and the dear little lamb."
"Dear Caleb, if I had known that I would certainly have brought Emmie."
"Dear Caleb, if I had known, I definitely would have brought Emmie."
"No, no need; it is only an old man's whim; she is better off where she is. I have been trying to write to you the last day or two, Miss Queenie, my dear; but I got so flurried and made such poor beginnings that I was obliged to give it up, not being so young as I was, my dear, and soon upset by what's over and gone."
"No, there's no need; it’s just an old man’s fancy; she’s better off where she is. I've been trying to write to you for the last day or two, Miss Queenie, my dear; but I got so flustered and started off so poorly that I had to give it up, not being as young as I used to be, my dear, and easily unsettled by what’s done and gone."
"I am afraid it has been a sad shock to you," observed Queenie, gravely. Caleb's wrinkled hand was quite cold and shaking, and Queenie rubbed it in a soft, caressing way as she spoke.
"I’m afraid this has been a sad shock for you," Queenie said seriously. Caleb's wrinkled hand was cold and trembling, and Queenie gently rubbed it in a soft, comforting manner as she spoke.
"You might have knocked me over with a feather," returned Caleb, reverting to his favorite expression. "It was not so much the shock of his death, though I have worked for him, boy and man, just fifty-five years last Michaelmas, nor the manner of it, for he slept away as peaceful as an infant; it is what came after, the mysterious dealings of Providence; but I must have my pipe, saving your presence, Miss Queenie dear. And you must have something to eat and drink to keep up your strength; and then you and me will have a deal of comfortable talk together, when we are both more composed;" and Queenie, seeing how agitated the old man really was, yielded with her usual sweet unselfishness, and went up to the little room, with the big brown bed, where she and Emmie had slept, with the window overlooking the stone-mason's yard, with the great slabs and blocks of stone.
"You could've knocked me over with a feather," Caleb said, going back to his favorite phrase. "It wasn't so much the shock of his death, even though I've worked for him, both as a boy and as a man, for fifty-five years as of last Michaelmas, nor the way he passed, since he went as peacefully as a baby; it's what happened afterward, the mysterious ways of Providence. But I need my pipe, if you don't mind me saying, Miss Queenie dear. And you need to eat and drink something to keep up your strength; then you and I can have a good, comforting chat together when we're both a bit more settled." Queenie, noticing how upset the old man was, gave in with her usual sweet selflessness and went up to the small room with the big brown bed, where she and Emmie had slept, with the window looking out over the stone-mason's yard filled with large slabs and blocks of stone.
The rain was dripping on the sheds and the white, unfinished monuments. Queenie stood for a long time listening to the soft patter on the leaves, until she found she was in the Warstdale granite-quarry, sitting amongst the grey stones, with Garth stretched on his plaid beside her, and roused herself with difficulty.
The rain was dripping on the sheds and the white, unfinished monuments. Queenie stood for a long time listening to the soft patter on the leaves, until she realized she was in the Warstdale granite quarry, sitting among the gray stones, with Garth stretched out on his blanket next to her, and she slowly pulled herself back to reality.
She went down after that, and poured out tea for herself from the little black teapot, and did justice to Molly's cake; and looked at the grate, wreathed with sprays of silvery honesty, and wondered if the rain had cleared up at Hepshaw, and whether they would go after all to the abbey; and then scolded herself for being so stupid and abstracted.
She went downstairs after that, poured herself some tea from the little black teapot, enjoyed Molly's cake, and looked at the fireplace, which was decorated with sprays of silvery honesty. She wondered if the rain had stopped at Hepshaw and if they would still go to the abbey after all; then she chastised herself for being so silly and lost in thought.
Caleb was rather quiet also, and sat regarding her solemnly through his puffs of smoke; now and then he seemed about to speak, but checked himself. He cleared his throat rather nervously when Queenie had ended her little repast and took a seat beside him.
Caleb was pretty quiet too, and he sat watching her seriously through his puffs of smoke. Every now and then, he looked like he was going to say something, but then he held back. He cleared his throat a bit nervously when Queenie finished her small meal and took a seat next to him.
"Now, dear old friend, I am refreshed, and we can have our talk," she said cheerfully. "Fill your pipe again; you never talk so well without it, you know. I want to tell you about Emmie, and the cottage, and the school, and the dear people at Church-Stile House; if I do not begin now I shall never get through it all in three days."
"Now, my dear old friend, I’m refreshed, and we can have our chat," she said cheerfully. "Fill your pipe again; you know you don’t talk as well without it. I want to tell you about Emmie, the cottage, the school, and the wonderful people at Church-Stile House; if I don’t start now, I won’t get through it all in three days."
"Ay, ay; but there is something we must talk about before that; the cottage and the school were all very well once, but now things are different. As I said before, I am not so young as I was, Miss Queenie, dear; and you will not flurry me and make me nervous if I tell you a few of my thoughts?"
"Yes, yes; but there’s something we need to discuss before that; the cottage and the school were great once, but now things have changed. As I mentioned before, I’m not as young as I used to be, Miss Queenie, dear; and you won’t make me anxious or flustered if I share some of my thoughts, will you?"
"Now, Caleb, you are not going to speak against my little scheme," cried the girl reproachfully. "It is all settled; nothing in the world could shake my purpose. I would rather be the school-mistress at Hepshaw, and earn my daily bread, than be the richest lady in Carlisle."
"Now, Caleb, you're not going to oppose my little plan," the girl exclaimed with a hint of accusation. "It's all decided; nothing in the world could change my mind. I’d prefer to be the schoolteacher at Hepshaw and earn my living than be the wealthiest woman in Carlisle."
The old man adjusted his pipe with trembling fingers.
The old man fixed his pipe with shaky fingers.
"Do you hear me, Caleb?"
"Can you hear me, Caleb?"
"I hear you, Miss Queenie, my dear."
"I hear you, Miss Queenie, my dear."
"Do you believe what I say? When I lie down at night I am so happy that I cannot sleep; I can hardly say my prayers sometimes, I want to sing them instead. Think of Emmie and I having our wish, and living in our own cottage! Will you come and see us there, dear, you and Molly?"
"Do you believe me? When I lie down at night, I'm so happy that I can't sleep; sometimes I can barely say my prayers, I just want to sing them instead. Think of Emmie and me getting our wish and living in our own cottage! Will you come visit us there, dear, you and Molly?"
"No, Miss Queenie; I hope not. Listen to me, my dearie. There, my pipe is out, but never mind; somehow I can't smoke it to-night. Supposing you were rich, very rich, Miss Queenie, how about the cottage then?"
"No, Miss Queenie; I hope not. Listen to me, my dear. There, my pipe is out, but that's okay; somehow I can't smoke it tonight. If you were rich, really rich, Miss Queenie, what would you think about the cottage then?"
"Suppose that you were talking nonsense," she returned, laughing. "Do you know, I have learnt to make bread, and to cook, and to mend, and to iron, and to do all sorts of useful things. I mean my cottage to be the cleanest and the prettiest in Hepshaw. There is quite a large garden, only it was grown over with rank grass; but Captain Fawcett and Mr. Clayton have had it dug up. We mean to plant beans and peas, and all kinds of vegetables; but I shall have roses and mignonette under the windows."
"Imagine if you were just talking nonsense," she replied with a laugh. "You know, I've learned how to make bread, cook, fix things, iron, and do all sorts of useful stuff. I want my cottage to be the cleanest and prettiest in Hepshaw. There's a pretty big garden, but it was overrun with tall grass; however, Captain Fawcett and Mr. Clayton have dug it up. We plan to plant beans and peas, and all sorts of vegetables; but I want roses and mignonette under the windows."
"My dear, you must listen to me; never mind about the cottage just now. What did I say to you, dearie, about the mysterious dealings of Providence? Things happen sometimes that we never expected. What were you saying, my dearie, about being the richest woman in Carlisle?"
"My dear, you need to listen to me; forget about the cottage for now. What did I tell you, darling, about the mysterious ways of Providence? Sometimes things happen that we never anticipated. What were you saying, sweetheart, about being the richest woman in Carlisle?"
The old man's manner was so singular that the girl gazed at him in astonishment.
The old man's behavior was so unusual that the girl stared at him in shock.
"Supposing something strange had happened, Miss Queenie," he continued nervously, "and you were to wake up one morning—this morning, say—and find yourself a rich lady, what should you say to that, my dearie?"
"Imagine something weird happened, Miss Queenie," he said anxiously, "and you woke up one morning—like this morning, for example—and discovered you were a rich lady. What would you think about that, my dear?"
"I—I should be sorry, I think. Oh, Caleb! what do you mean?" she implored, roused at last by his agitation.
"I—I think I should feel sorry. Oh, Caleb! What do you mean?" she begged, finally stirred by his distress.
"No, no; don't say that, Miss Queenie, dear; it is tempting the good Providence that has turned his hard heart, and made him restore to you and that precious lamb fourfold of what was due to you. 'I was sick and ye visited me.' There it is, my dearie; and the blessing has come back to you again when you least expected it."
"No, no; don't say that, Miss Queenie, dear; it's tempting good fate that has softened his hard heart and made him give back to you and that precious lamb four times what you were owed. 'I was sick and you visited me.' There it is, my dear; and the blessing has come back to you when you least expected it."
"Caleb, I cannot bear this," exclaimed the girl, turning suddenly very pale. "Do you see how you are trying me? Is there something I ought to know, and that you are trying to prepare me to hear, something about Mr. Calcott and Emmie?"
"Caleb, I can't handle this," the girl said, suddenly going very pale. "Do you see how you're testing me? Is there something I need to know, something you're trying to get me ready to hear, something about Mr. Calcott and Emmie?"
"Nay, nay; not about Emmie."
"No way; not about Emmie."
"About myself, then?"
"Want to know about me?"
"Ay," patting her hand tremulously, "about yourself, Miss Queenie, dear. You have woke up this morning a rich woman. Mr. Calcott has left you all his money."
"Ay," patting her hand nervously, "about you, Miss Queenie, dear. You woke up this morning a rich woman. Mr. Calcott has left you all his money."
"Oh, Caleb! no,"—Queenie's voice rose almost to a cry—"not to me, surely, surely! You must mean Emmie! Emmie is his niece, not I; I am nothing to him."
"Oh, Caleb! No,"—Queenie's voice almost turned into a cry—"not to me, surely! You must mean Emmie! Emmie is his niece, not me; I am nothing to him."
"Ah! but you ministered to him like a daughter; you were not turned from him by his hard words."
"Ah! but you cared for him like a daughter; you weren't put off by his harsh words."
"But I was cruel, and left him alone in his sufferings; I never came back even to wish him good-bye. I have been thinking of myself, not him, all this time. Caleb, I can never take his money, it belongs to Emmie; I can never defraud Emmie," and Queenie leaned her head on her old friend's shoulder and burst into a perfect passion of tears.
"But I was harsh and left him by himself to suffer; I never returned even to say goodbye. I've been focused on myself, not him, this whole time. Caleb, I can never take his money; it belongs to Emmie. I can never cheat Emmie," and Queenie rested her head on her old friend's shoulder and broke down in tears.
Caleb stroked her hair gently. "Hush, my pretty; there is something like five thousand a year, all in safe investments. But the lawyer will be round here presently, and tell you all about that. He has left me an annuity of three hundred a-year in return for fifty-five years of faithful services. Think of that, Miss Queenie! You might have knocked me down with a feather when I heard that."
Caleb gently stroked her hair. "Hush, my pretty; there’s about five thousand a year, all in safe investments. But the lawyer will be here soon and explain everything to you. He’s left me an annuity of three hundred a year for fifty-five years of loyal service. Can you believe that, Miss Queenie? I was completely stunned when I heard it."
"Yes; but Emmie," she sobbed. "I cannot defraud Emmie."
"Yes; but Emmie," she cried. "I can't trick Emmie."
"Bless you, Miss Queenie, dear, you are not defrauding the poor innocent. If the money had not come to you it would have gone to some hospital. Have you forgotten his vow, that his sister and her child should never inherit a farthing of his money? No doubt he repents these rash words of his, and he means you to take care of Emmie, and give her the benefit of his wealth."
"Bless you, Miss Queenie, dear, you're not cheating the poor innocent. If the money hadn't come to you, it would have gone to some hospital. Have you forgotten his promise that his sister and her child should never inherit a penny of his money? No doubt he regrets those hasty words of his, and he intends for you to take care of Emmie and let her benefit from his wealth."
"Are you sure, quite sure, that he meant that?"
"Are you totally sure that he meant that?"
"Positive and certain, my pretty."
"Confident and sure, my darling."
"And you do not think I shall be wrong to accept his bounty for her sake?"
"And you don't think it would be wrong for me to accept his generosity for her benefit?"
"Surely not. It would be quarrelling with the dispensations of Providence."
"Definitely not. That would mean arguing with the plans of Providence."
"I feel so oppressed," cried the girl, laying her hand on her bosom; "there is a weight here as though I were sorry and not glad. If he had given me a little I could have taken it and have been thankful, but so much crushes me somehow."
"I feel so weighed down," cried the girl, placing her hand on her chest; "there's this heaviness here like I'm sad instead of happy. If he had given me a little, I could have accepted it and been grateful, but this is just too much for me."
"How about the cottage now?" interposed Caleb jocosely, trying to rally her, but she stopped him with quivering lips.
"How's the cottage now?" Caleb chimed in playfully, trying to lift her spirits, but she silenced him with trembling lips.
"Hush! I can bear no more, not to-night. Did you say the lawyer was coming? Let me go away for a little, I feel sick and giddy, and I want to understand it all."
"Hush! I can't take any more, not tonight. Did you say the lawyer is coming? Let me step away for a bit, I feel sick and dizzy, and I want to make sense of it all."
"Then run away, my dearie, and I will send for you when he comes; there's a bit of a letter or a paper that he wants to give you."
"Then run away, my dear, and I’ll call for you when he arrives; there's a little note or a document that he wants to give you."
"She is as cold and white as a bit of marble; I wonder what's come to the pretty creature," he muttered when he was left alone. "She is not heart glad, I can see that. She has a scared look in her face, as though she has lost her foothold somehow."
"She is as cold and pale as a piece of marble; I wonder what's happened to that beautiful girl," he murmured when he was by himself. "She's not happy, I can tell. She looks frightened, as if she's lost her sense of stability somehow."
Queenie had regained her calmness by the time the lawyer made his appearance. She listened to his explanations and instructions silently but with composure, only her compressed lips and closely-locked hands showed the intense strain of feeling under the quietude of her manner.
Queenie had regained her composure by the time the lawyer arrived. She listened to his explanations and instructions quietly but with poise; only her tight lips and tightly clasped hands revealed the intense pressure she was feeling beneath her calm demeanor.
"Five thousand a-year; you are sure that is the sum mentioned," she said, when he paused once.
"Five thousand a year; are you sure that's the amount mentioned?" she asked, when he paused briefly.
"Yes; house property, and investments in the funds, consols, and various securities will yield about that sum, I should think. The furniture is to be sold, but the plate and valuables are yours. There are various legacies to old servants, and a pension or two; but to-morrow we can go over particularly into details."
"Yeah, I think the property and investments in the funds, consols, and various securities will bring in about that amount. The furniture will be sold, but the silver and valuables are yours. There are some legacies for the old servants, and a couple of pensions; but we can go over the details tomorrow."
"And it is all for my own use and benefit?"
"And it's all for my own use and benefit?"
"Exactly so; the terms of the will are binding. There is to be no partition or deed of gift to any other person during your lifetime. There is a small sealed paper addressed to you, which Mr. Calcott gave into my hand, and which you had better read at once, it may throw some light on his conduct."
"Exactly; the terms of the will are binding. There will be no division or gift deed to anyone else during your lifetime. There’s a small sealed envelope addressed to you that Mr. Calcott gave to me, and you should read it right away; it might clarify his behavior."
Queenie took the paper. It was written in a feeble, almost illegible, hand, and was not easy to decipher; the beginning was strangely abrupt.
Queenie took the paper. It was written in a weak, almost unreadable handwriting, and was hard to make out; the beginning was oddly sudden.
"I have told you that I have no niece; I must wash my hands of the child. When a man has taken an oath upon his lips it is too late then to talk of repentance. But I can trust her to Frank Marriott's daughter. Mind, girl; I say that I can trust you, and a dead man's trust is sacred.
"I've told you that I don't have a niece; I have to distance myself from the child. Once a man has sworn to something, it's too late to talk about taking it back. But I can rely on Frank Marriott's daughter. Listen, girl; I'm saying that I can rely on you, and a dead man's trust is something to be taken seriously."
"My money is my own to do with it as I will. I have no relation in the world, for the child is nothing to me. Do you remember telling me that you were sorry for me, that no one would shed tears over my grave? I can recal your words now. 'It must be so dreadful not to want love, to be able to do without it.' Child, child, what possessed you to say such words to me?
"My money is mine to do with as I please. I have no family in the world, because the child means nothing to me. Do you remember saying you felt sorry for me, that no one would cry over my grave? I can recall your words now. 'It must be so awful not to want love, to be able to live without it.' Child, child, what made you say such things to me?"
"Well, you are wrong; Caleb will be sorry for me, the poor fellow has a faithful heart; and, if I mistake not, you will shed a tear or two when you hear that I have gone. Do you recollect how you reproached me the first time I saw you? 'Though you were dying of hunger,' you said, 'you would not crave my bounty.' You told me that I had given you hard, sneering words; that I was refusing to help you in your bitter strait; that I was leaving you, young and single-handed, to fight in this cruel world. Girl, those were hard words to haunt a dying man's pillow. Well, well, I am dying, and I know you have forgiven me, though I have a wish to hear you say it once; but I know you forgave me when you gave me that kiss. Ah, I have not forgotten that. I am leaving you all my money, think of that! to Frank Marriott's daughter! It has been a curse to me, mind you turn it into a blessing. Remember, I trust the child to you. Perhaps in the many mansions,—but there, Emily was a saint, and I am a poor miserable sinner. The child is like her mother, so take care of her. If Emily and I meet—but there's no knowing—I should like to tell her the child has suffered no wrong,—the many mansions—there may be room for Andrew Calcott; who knows? There, God bless you; God bless you both. I am getting drowsy and must sleep;" but here the letter broke off abruptly.
"Well, you're mistaken; Caleb will feel sad for me, the poor guy has a loyal heart; and, if I'm not wrong, you'll shed a tear or two when you find out I've passed. Do you remember how you called me out the first time I saw you? 'Even if you were starving,' you said, 'you wouldn't beg for my help.' You told me that I had given you harsh, mocking words; that I was refusing to help you in your tough situation; that I was leaving you, young and alone, to struggle in this harsh world. Girl, those were tough words to haunt a dying man's thoughts. Well, I am dying, and I know you've forgiven me, though I really want to hear you say it once; but I know you forgave me when you gave me that kiss. Ah, I haven't forgotten that. I'm leaving you all my money, think about that! to Frank Marriott's daughter! It's been a burden to me, make sure to turn it into a blessing. Remember, I trust the child to you. Maybe in the many mansions—but there, Emily was a saint, and I am a poor miserable sinner. The child is like her mother, so take care of her. If Emily and I meet—but who knows—I’d like to tell her that the child has suffered no harm—the many mansions—maybe there’s room for Andrew Calcott; who knows? There, God bless you; God bless you both. I'm feeling sleepy and need to rest;" but here the letter stopped abruptly.
"I found him exhausted with the effect of writing," observed Mr. Duncan, turning his head away that he might not see Queenie's agitated face; "he made me seal it up in his presence, and then begged us all to leave him. In the morning the nurse found him lying as you have heard, with his face to the light; he had been dead some hours. I was quite struck with the change in him when I went up; he looked years younger. There was a smile on his face, and all the lines seemed smoothed away. He had been a great sufferer all his life, and that made him something of a misanthrope."
"I found him worn out from writing," Mr. Duncan noted, turning his head away so he wouldn't have to see Queenie's troubled face. "He made me seal it up in front of him and then asked us all to leave him alone. In the morning, the nurse found him lying as you've heard, with his face to the light; he had been dead for several hours. I was really struck by how different he looked when I went up; he looked years younger. There was a smile on his face, and all the lines seemed to have disappeared. He had suffered greatly all his life, which made him a bit of a misanthrope."
"Yes, yes; no one understood him, and even I was hard upon him," returned Queenie, bursting into tears again. Ah, why had she forgotten him? Did she know that the dead hand would have been stretched out to her with a blessing in it for her and the child?
"Yes, yes; no one understood him, and even I was tough on him," Queenie replied, starting to cry again. Ah, why had she forgotten him? Did she realize that his lifeless hand would have reached out to her with a blessing for her and the child?
CHAPTER VI.
QUEENIE'S WHIM.
"She knew not what was lacking,
Knew not until it came;
She gave it the name of friendship,
But that was not its name.
And the truth could not be hidden
From her own clear-seeing eyes.
When the name her own heart whispered,
And whispered too, 'Be wise.'"—Isa Craig-Knox.
"She didn't know what was missing,
Didn't realize until it appeared;
She called it friendship,
But that wasn't its true name.
And the truth couldn't be concealed
From her own clear-seeing eyes.
When the name her heart quietly spoke,
And also whispered, 'Be wise.'"—Isa Craig-Knox.
The storm had wholly ceased, but a few snatches of summer lightning still played on the ragged edge of the clouds when Queenie at last bade her old friend good night, and went up to her little room, to think over the bewildering events of the day. The air was still oppressed and sultry. The white slabs of stone in the mason's yard shone dimly in the darkness; the wet ivy scattered a shower of drops on the girl's uncovered head as she leaned out, as though gasping for air. A faint perfume of saturated roses and drowned lavender pervaded everything. A blue-grey moth trailed his draggled wings feebly across the sill. The dark-scented air seemed full of mystery and silence.
The storm had completely stopped, but a few flashes of summer lightning still flickered along the jagged edge of the clouds when Queenie finally said good night to her old friend and headed up to her little room to reflect on the confusing events of the day. The air felt heavy and humid. The white stone slabs in the mason's yard glimmered faintly in the dark; the wet ivy dripped drops onto the girl's bare head as she leaned out, as if desperate for fresh air. A light scent of soaked roses and wet lavender filled the atmosphere. A blue-grey moth weakly dragged its tattered wings across the windowsill. The dark, fragrant air felt full of mystery and quiet.
Queenie leant her head upon her hands and tried to think, but in reality she was too numb and bewildered. "What has happened to me? why am I more sorry than glad about it all? how have I deserved it? and what am I to do with all this wealth that has come to me?" she kept saying to herself over and over again.
Queenie rested her head on her hands and tried to think, but in truth, she felt too dazed and confused. "What’s happened to me? Why am I more upset than happy about all this? What have I done to deserve it? And what should I do with all this wealth that’s come my way?" she kept repeating to herself again and again.
A few hundreds would have sent her back rejoicing and triumphant. A modest competency, an assured income, would have lightened the whole burthen of her responsibility, and made her young heart happy; but all this wealth! It would not be too much to say that for the time she was simply crushed by it.
A few hundred would have sent her back happy and triumphant. A modest income would have eased all her responsibilities and made her young heart joyful; but all this wealth! It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that for a while, she was completely overwhelmed by it.
"Give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient to me." Queenie, as well as Garth Clayton, had ever loved that prayer of the wise Agar. If she could have chosen her lot in life it would have been in some such words as these. To have sufficient, but not too much, was the very sum and substance of her wishes.
"Don’t give me poverty or wealth; just provide me with what I need." Queenie, like Garth Clayton, had always appreciated that prayer from the wise Agar. If she could choose her life, it would align with sentiments like these. Having enough but not too much was the heart of her desires.
Now a strange sense of trouble and loss oppressed her. Her plans for the future were strangely disturbed; a moral earthquake had shattered her airy castles, and she was looking mournfully at their wrecks. Her cottage and her work, must she relinquish both? Was Emmie's childish notion of happiness to be frustrated also? "I would rather be the school-mistress at Hepshaw than the richest lady in Carlisle." How passionately she had said those words, and yet she had meant them from her very heart.
Now a strange feeling of trouble and loss weighed her down. Her plans for the future felt oddly disrupted; a moral upheaval had destroyed her dreams, and she was sadly gazing at their ruins. Did she really have to give up both her cottage and her work? Was Emmie's innocent idea of happiness going to be crushed too? "I would rather be the schoolmistress at Hepshaw than the richest lady in Carlisle." How passionately she had said those words, and she truly meant them with all her heart.
And then, with a sudden sharp pang, she remembered that it was one of Garth Clayton's peculiarities to dislike riches for women. A certain conversation that had passed between him and his brother occurred to her with painful vividness.
And then, with a sudden sharp pang, she remembered that one of Garth Clayton's quirks was that he didn't like women who were rich. A certain conversation that had happened between him and his brother came to her mind with painful clarity.
One of Garth's school friends had just married a wealthy widow.
One of Garth's school friends had just married a rich widow.
"What a lucky fellow young Musgrave is," Ted had grumbled. "He was never a fellow for work, and now he need not do another stroke of business for the remainder of his life. See if I don't pick up a rich wife for myself one of these days."
"What a lucky guy young Musgrave is," Ted had grumbled. "He was never one for work, and now he doesn't have to lift a finger for the rest of his life. Just wait and see if I don't snag a wealthy wife for myself one of these days."
"What! you would consent to live on your wife's money!" returned his brother, with a face of disgust. "You would help yourself out of her pocket, in order that you might eat the bread of idleness! a nice manly notion that."
"What! You would agree to live off your wife's money!" his brother replied, looking disgusted. "You would take from her pocket so you could enjoy a lazy life! What a charmingly manly idea that is."
"Why should a man be bound to work for both if he does not choose?" replied Ted, sulkily. "I thought this was an enlightened age, and that the rights of women would entitle them to the honor of helping to be bread-winner. Don't pull such a long face, Garth; I wouldn't marry any girl if she were weighted in gold unless I liked her, only I mean to invest my affections prudently."
"Why should a guy have to work for both if he doesn’t want to?" Ted replied, sulkily. "I thought we were in an enlightened age, and that women’s rights would give them the chance to help earn a living. Don't look so down, Garth; I wouldn’t marry any girl, no matter how wealthy she was, unless I actually liked her. I just plan to invest my feelings wisely."
"I don't think I could ever fall in love with a rich woman," was Garth's emphatic answer. "I believe I am peculiar on this point. If I ever marry, my wife must be dependent on me, not I on her. Why one of the chief pleasures of matrimony must be to bully your wife sometimes, just to see how nicely she takes it; but if she has all the pounds, shillings, and pence on her side, she might turn round and bully me."
"I don't think I could ever fall in love with a rich woman," Garth replied firmly. "I know I'm a bit different on this topic. If I ever get married, my wife needs to rely on me, not the other way around. One of the main joys of marriage must be teasing your wife sometimes, just to see how well she handles it; but if she's the one with all the money, she could end up teasing me instead."
"Garth, how can you be so absurd," broke in Cathy.
"Garth, how can you be so ridiculous?" Cathy interrupted.
"You see, a husband ought to have all the power," he continued, in his droll, half-serious way. "The threat of withholding a new dress would reduce any woman to a state of abject submission. I should like my wife, provided I ever have one, which is not likely if you are going to be so extravagant, Cathy, I should like her to coax and wheedle me out of all her ribbons and fineries; but if she could demand a cheque for a new silk dress whenever she liked-'I should thank you to remember, Mr. Clayton, who it is who brought you all that money'—why what a fool I should feel."
"You see, a husband should have all the power," he continued, in his amusing, half-serious way. "The threat of withholding a new dress would push any woman into total submission. I’d like my wife, assuming I ever have one—which seems unlikely if you keep being so extravagant, Cathy—I’d like her to charm and persuade me out of all her ribbons and fancy clothes; but if she could just ask for a check for a new silk dress whenever she wanted, saying, 'I should remind you, Mr. Clayton, who is responsible for all the money you have'—I’d feel like such a fool."
"Langley, do hear him; when he pays all our bills without looking at a single item."
"Langley, you should listen to him; he takes care of all our bills without even glancing at any details."
"Ah, but you are not my wife, my dear, that makes all the difference. The immaculate creature whom I honor with my regard must be made aware that she is marrying a man with a hobby. Why," finished Garth, with a sudden glow of strong feeling on his face, "it must destroy the very nature and meaning of things not to feel that your wife is dependent upon you for everything."
"Ah, but you’re not my wife, my dear, and that changes everything. The perfect woman I respect must know that she’s marrying a man with a hobby. Why," Garth said, a sudden wave of strong emotion crossing his face, "it would completely change the nature and meaning of things not to feel like your wife relies on you for everything."
How well Queenie recalled this conversation. How truly it spoke of the nature of the man—his sturdy independence, his pride and love of authority, and also of the tenderness that loved to shield and protect.
How well Queenie remembered this conversation. How accurately it reflected the nature of the man—his strong independence, his pride and love for authority, and also the tenderness that wanted to shield and protect.
Garth always cared most for what was dependent on him; feminine self-reliance seldom pleased him. Queenie's independence was simply owing to circumstances; she was strong-minded and yet not self-asserting; her force of will seldom came to the surface. In every-day life, amongst those who loved her, she was singularly submissive and yielding, and from the first she had placed implicit trust in Garth Clayton, in a way that had touched him to the heart.
Garth always cared most about what depended on him; feminine independence rarely satisfied him. Queenie's independence was just a result of her situation; she was strong-willed but not aggressive; her determination rarely showed. In everyday life, among those who loved her, she was notably submissive and accommodating, and from the very beginning, she had placed complete trust in Garth Clayton, which had deeply moved him.
A bitter reflection crossed her mind now—Garth was good to her; he had in a way taken her under his protection, and was showing her much brotherly kindness; would he not lose interest in her now she was rich? Queenie remembered how coldly he had talked of a certain school friend of Langley's, a young heiress, who had lately settled some miles from Hepshaw. Langley had once or twice proposed driving over to see her, but Garth had always negatived the notion.
A bitter thought crossed her mind now—Garth was good to her; he had kind of taken her under his wing and was showing her a lot of brotherly kindness; would he lose interest in her now that she was rich? Queenie remembered how coldly he had talked about a certain school friend of Langley’s, a young heiress who had recently moved a few miles from Hepshaw. Langley had suggested driving over to see her once or twice, but Garth had always shot down the idea.
"Caroline is such a good creature," Langley would say; "she is not pretty, but thoroughly nice, and so bright."
"Caroline is such a nice person," Langley would say; "she's not pretty, but really lovely, and so smart."
"Then go over, by all means, and see her, my dear; but I must ask you to excuse me from accompanying you." And when Cathy had pressed him, he had seemed put out, and had muttered, "that he had something better to do than to run after girls all day, especially when they were heiresses."
"Then definitely go see her, my dear; but I have to ask you to let me off from going with you." And when Cathy pushed him, he seemed annoyed and muttered, "that he had better things to do than chase after girls all day, especially when they were rich."
Queenie thought of all this with a certain dismay and sinking of heart. She was an heiress herself, and he disliked heiresses. Perhaps, when he knew that, his manner would change; it would become cooler and more distant. How could she ever bring herself to bear that?
Queenie thought about all this with a sense of disappointment and a heavy heart. She was an heiress herself, and he wasn't fond of heiresses. Maybe once he found out, his attitude would shift; it would turn cooler and more distant. How could she ever handle that?
The thought of the cottage became every moment dearer. He was furnishing it for her now. He and Langley had been up to the sale, but the whole business had been kept a secret from her.
The idea of the cottage became more precious with each passing moment. He was now decorating it for her. He and Langley had gone to the sale, but the entire thing had been kept a secret from her.
"You know you are to leave all these details to me," he had remarked casually on his return. Queenie was quite aware how often Cathy and Langley were closeted with him in his study. Cathy would come out from these interviews very round-eyed and mysterious, and with an air of importance that amused Queenie. She had a notion once or twice that the pile of new towels and dusters in Langley's basket were not for the use of the inhabitants of Church-Stile House; but she dared not inquire the truth.
"You know you’re supposed to leave all these details to me," he had said casually when he got back. Queenie knew how often Cathy and Langley were locked away with him in his study. Cathy would come out from those meetings looking wide-eyed and mysterious, with an air of importance that made Queenie laugh. A couple of times, she suspected that the stack of new towels and dusters in Langley’s basket weren’t for the people living in Church-Stile House; but she didn’t dare ask what was really going on.
Was this pleasant surprise they were planning to be in vain? And then again, was she not bound by her work? The Vicar and church-wardens had elected her as mistress of the Hepshaw girls' school, was she not bound to fulfil her duties until the vacancy could be filled?
Was this nice surprise they were planning going to be pointless? And then again, wasn’t she tied to her job? The Vicar and church wardens had chosen her as head of the Hepshaw girls' school, so wasn’t she obligated to carry out her responsibilities until someone could take over?
Queenie's young head and heart were in a whirl; regret, pride, pleasure, and yet pain, each in turn predominated. "What shall I do? what ought I to do?" she kept repeating; and then all at once a look of amusement, almost of glee, crossed her face. "I have it! but will it do? will it be right? Oh! what will Caleb say? And then if he, if Mr. Clayton, found out would he not think it childish and whimsical to the last degree; but I can't help it, I must have breathing time and a little happiness first."
Queenie's head and heart were in a whirlwind; regret, pride, pleasure, and pain each took their turn dominating her feelings. "What should I do? What am I supposed to do?" she kept asking herself; then suddenly, a look of amusement, almost joy, flashed across her face. "I’ve got it! But will it work? Will it be the right choice? Oh! What will Caleb think? And if he, if Mr. Clayton, found out, wouldn’t he just consider it childish and totally impractical? But I can’t help it; I need some breathing room and a little happiness first."
When Queenie had reached this conclusion she laid her head on the pillow, but it was not easy to still her throbbing pulses; for almost the first time in her healthy young life sleep entirely forsook her. The morning sun was flooding the little chamber, the birds were twittering and pluming themselves amongst the ivy, before a brief forgetfulness sealed her senses; a confused dream followed. She thought she was standing on a lonely sand-bank, when suddenly it changed to shifting gold beneath her feet; she felt herself sinking, and cried out to some one to save her; and woke to find Molly's homely face bending over her, with a great bunch of roses in her hand.
When Queenie came to this realization, she rested her head on the pillow, but it was hard to calm her racing heart; for almost the first time in her healthy young life, sleep completely eluded her. The morning sun filled the small room, and the birds were chirping and preening themselves in the ivy, before a brief forgetfulness finally took over her senses; a confusing dream followed. She imagined she was standing on a lonely sandbank, which suddenly transformed into shifting gold beneath her feet; she felt herself sinking, and yelled for someone to save her; and she woke to see Molly's familiar face leaning over her, holding a large bouquet of roses.
"I have been out to the market, and I bought these of a poor decent-looking body. The master's been down nigh upon an hour, but he would not let me disturb you before this," cried Molly, dropping one of her old-fashioned curtseys.
"I just got back from the market, and I bought these from a nice-looking person who was in need. The master has been down for almost an hour, but he didn’t want me to interrupt you until now," Molly said, dropping a polite curtsy.
Queenie laid her hot cheek against the cool crimson hearts of the roses. "Oh, Molly! you dear, kind creature, how delicious; and how thankful I am that you woke me. Do you know, you have saved me from a horrible death. I was drowning in gold, sinking in it; it was all hard and glittering, and seemed to strangle me. How sweet the roses and the sunshine are after it. Oh!" with a little whimsical shudder, "I wish I had not woke up such a very rich woman, Molly."
Queenie pressed her warm cheek against the cool, red hearts of the roses. "Oh, Molly! You wonderful, kind person, this is amazing; and I'm so grateful you woke me up. You know, you've saved me from a terrible fate. I was drowning in gold, sinking in it; it felt so hard and shiny, like it was choking me. The roses and the sunshine feel so sweet after that. Oh!" with a playful shiver, "I wish I hadn’t woken up such a very rich woman, Molly."
Queenie was in a curious mood all breakfast-time; she would not talk sensibly, and she would persist in turning a deaf ear to all Caleb's scraps of advice and wisdom. When their frugal meal was finished she dragged Caleb's great elbow-chair to the open window, and placed herself on the low window-seat beside it. "Now, Caleb, I want to talk to you," she said coaxingly.
Queenie was in a strange mood throughout breakfast; she wouldn’t have a sensible conversation and kept ignoring all of Caleb's bits of advice and wisdom. Once their simple meal was over, she pulled Caleb's big armchair to the open window and sat on the low window seat next to it. "Okay, Caleb, I want to talk to you," she said in a sweet tone.
"But, Miss Queenie dear, it is getting late, and you have over-slept yourself, you know; and there is the office, and Mr. Duncan; he will be expecting us."
"But, Miss Queenie dear, it's getting late, and you've overslept, you know; and there's the office, and Mr. Duncan; he'll be expecting us."
"What is the good of being an heiress if one cannot do as one likes, and keep lawyers and those sort of people waiting?" returned Queenie, coolly. "I am a different person to what I was yesterday; so different that I have to pinch myself now and then to be sure that I am really Queenie Marriott, and not some one else. I feel like that man in the 'Arabian Nights' Entertainment,' only I forget his name."
"What’s the point of being an heiress if you can’t do what you want and make lawyers and those kinds of people wait?" Queenie replied casually. "I’m a different person today than I was yesterday; I’m so different that I have to pinch myself now and then to make sure I’m really Queenie Marriott and not someone else. I feel like that man from the 'Arabian Nights' story, but I can’t remember his name."
"But, my dear young lady," pleaded Caleb, helplessly.
"But, my dear young lady," Caleb pleaded, feeling helpless.
"Now, Caleb, you are to be good, and listen to me. I am quite serious, quite in earnest; and if you give me any trouble I shall just take the next train back to Hepshaw, and leave you and Mr. Duncan to do as you like with all this dreadful money."
"Now, Caleb, you need to behave and listen to me. I'm totally serious about this; if you give me any trouble, I'll just hop on the next train back to Hepshaw and leave you and Mr. Duncan to deal with all this awful money."
Caleb held up his hands in amazement. "Dreadful money!" he gasped.
Caleb raised his hands in disbelief. "Terrible money!" he exclaimed.
"It is very rude to repeat people's words," replied the girl, with a little stamp of her foot. "It is dreadful to me; it has been suffocating and strangling me all night. I can't be rich all at once like this, it takes my breath away. Do you hear me, Caleb? I don't mean to be rich for another twelvemonth."
"It’s really rude to repeat what people say," replied the girl, stamping her foot a little. "It’s awful for me; it’s been suffocating and choking me all night. I can’t suddenly be rich like this; it takes my breath away. Do you hear me, Caleb? I don’t want to be rich for another year."
"Aye, what? I am not as young as I was, and maybe I am a little hard of hearing, my dearie;" and Caleb looked at her rather vacantly.
"Yeah, what? I'm not as young as I used to be, and maybe I'm a little hard of hearing, sweetheart;" and Caleb looked at her somewhat blankly.
"Listen to me, dear," she repeated, more gently, laying her hand on his sleeve to enforce attention. "I have been awake all night; the thought of all this money coming to me unearned and undeserved oppressed and made me quite unhappy. I do not want it," hesitating, and reddening slightly over her words; "it has interfered with my plans, and turned everything in my life topsy-turvy. It is not that I am ungrateful, or that I may not want it some day, but I must be free, free to do my own work, free to live my own humble life, free as a gipsy or Bohemian, for one twelvemonth longer."
"Listen to me, sweetie," she repeated, softer this time, placing her hand on his sleeve to grab his attention. "I was awake all night; the idea of all this money coming to me without earning it and not deserving it weighed heavily on me and made me really unhappy. I don’t want it," she hesitated, her cheeks flushing a bit as she spoke; "it’s messed up my plans and turned my life upside down. It’s not that I’m ungrateful, or that I might not want it someday, but I need to be free, free to do my own work, free to live my own simple life, free like a gypsy or Bohemian, for just one more year."
"Miss Queenie, dear, I call this tempting Providence," began the old man, solemnly. "These riches are yours, and you must use them. Why bless your dear heart, they are earned and deserved over and over again, and every one who knows you will say so."
"Miss Queenie, my dear, I call this a tempting fate," the old man began solemnly. "These riches are yours, and you need to make good use of them. Why, bless your heart, you've earned and deserve them time and time again, and everyone who knows you will agree."
"These riches are mine, and I suppose I ought to say thank God for them, and I think I do in my heart, for Emmie's sake," she replied, solemnly; "but, Caleb, I am determined for another year I will not use them. I will take a little, perhaps; you and Mr. Duncan shall give me enough for present use; but for a year I will be the school-mistress at Hepshaw, and nothing else."
"These riches are mine, and I guess I should thank God for them, and I think I do in my heart, for Emmie's sake," she said seriously. "But, Caleb, I've made up my mind that for another year I won’t use them. I might take a little, maybe; you and Mr. Duncan can give me enough for my immediate needs, but for a year I will be the schoolmistress at Hepshaw and nothing else."
"The school-mistress at Hepshaw!—five thousand a-year! Heaven bless us and save us! I am getting dazed, Miss Queenie. The school-mistress at Hepshaw!"
"The school teacher at Hepshaw!—five thousand a year! Goodness gracious! I’m feeling overwhelmed, Miss Queenie. The school teacher at Hepshaw!"
"Yes; I am bound to my work, and I do not mean to shrink from it. I mean to hide up my riches, to keep them a grand secret even from Emmie; to live in my little cottage among my kind friends, and work and be free and happy for a whole year. Only one year, Caleb," caressing him, for tears of disappointment stood in his eyes; "only one little year out of my whole life."
"Yes, I'm committed to my work, and I'm not going to shy away from it. I plan to keep my wealth a big secret, even from Emmie; to live in my small cottage among my good friends, and work and be free and happy for an entire year. Just one year, Caleb," she said, comforting him, as tears of disappointment filled his eyes; "just one tiny year out of my whole life."
"And what then, Miss Queenie?"
"And what now, Miss Queenie?"
"Then I must be brave, and buckle on my golden harness. Don't be afraid, dear old friend, I do not mean to shrink from my responsibilities; I would not if they were really and truly to crush me," with a smile, followed by a sigh. "I only want to have time to get used to the thought. I must teach and fit myself to be a rich woman before I am one. Now you must promise to keep my secret, you and Molly, and Mr. Duncan. No one knows me; no one need concern themselves about my business. I was Miss Titheridge's under-teacher, and now I am the school-mistress at Hepshaw."
"Then I have to be brave and put on my golden armor. Don't worry, my dear old friend, I'm not backing away from my responsibilities; I wouldn’t do that even if they were truly overwhelming," she said with a smile, followed by a sigh. "I just need some time to get used to the idea. I have to prepare and get ready to be a wealthy woman before I actually am one. Now you have to promise to keep my secret, you, Molly, and Mr. Duncan. No one knows who I am; no one needs to concern themselves with my business. I was Miss Titheridge's assistant teacher, and now I'm the headmistress at Hepshaw."
"But, Miss Queenie—"
"But, Ms. Queenie—"
"Caleb, you must promise me. Hush," kneeling down before him, and bringing her bright face on a level with his; "I will not hear another word. It is a whim, dear; just Queenie's whim, and that is all."
"Caleb, you have to promise me. Hush," she said, kneeling in front of him and bringing her cheerful face down to his level; "I won't listen to another word. It’s just a whim, sweetheart; just Queenie’s whim, and that’s it."
"I saw it was a bit of girl's nonsense, but I couldn't gainsay her coaxing ways," as Caleb said to Mr. Duncan afterwards. "She always had a will of her own, had Miss Queenie; but in the main she is right and sensible, and has an old head on young shoulders. It is just a sort of play-acting. She has set her heart on this school and cottage of hers, and nothing will do for her but to go back to it."
"I realized it was just some girl’s silliness, but I couldn’t argue with her persuasive ways," Caleb told Mr. Duncan later. "Miss Queenie always had a mind of her own; however, for the most part, she’s right and sensible, and she has the wisdom of someone older. It’s really just a form of acting. She’s determined to have her school and cottage, and nothing will satisfy her except going back to it."
"Marie Antoinette at Trianon! I have a notion that there is more in this than meets the eye," argued the lawyer shrewdly, with a shrug of his shoulders. "Well, well, Mr. Runciman, it is none of our business; the girl is absolute mistress of her own fortune. Morton and I are only joint executors, and bound to see things are right and fair; she might spend it all on that charity school of hers, and we should have no right to interfere."
"Marie Antoinette at Trianon! I have a feeling there's more to this than what it seems," the lawyer said wisely, shrugging his shoulders. "Well, Mr. Runciman, it's not our concern; the girl is completely in control of her own fortune. Morton and I are just co-executors, and we have to ensure everything is handled properly and fairly; she could spend it all on that charity school of hers, and we wouldn't have the right to stop her."
"But, all the same, it is a bit of pure nonsense," returned Caleb, distrustful for the first time of his favorite's good sense.
"But still, it's just a bit of pure nonsense," Caleb replied, feeling a bit unsure for the first time about his favorite's judgment.
"Don't trouble your head about it, Runciman," was the good-humored reply; "the best of women have their crazy fits sometimes. Mark my words, before six months are over she will have changed her tune. Either the truth will have leaked out, or she will be impatient to try her heiress-ship; there's no knowing what will happen. She has asked me for fifty pounds; in another month it will be a hundred. Bless you, when her fingers have got used to the feel of bank-notes they will slip through them pretty readily."
"Don't worry about it, Runciman," was the cheerful response; "even the best women have their moments of craziness. Trust me, within six months, she’ll be singing a different song. Either the truth will come out, or she’ll be eager to enjoy her inheritance; you never know what might happen. She’s already asked me for fifty pounds; in another month, it’ll be a hundred. Just wait, once she gets used to holding cash, she'll let it go pretty easily."
Queenie had got her way, but she found it somewhat difficult to pacify her old friend. She had just been out to buy some simple unexpensive mourning for herself and Emmie, and was standing by the table fingering the stuffs as he entered.
Queenie had gotten her way, but she found it a bit tricky to calm her old friend down. She had just gone out to buy some simple, inexpensive mourning clothes for herself and Emmie, and was standing by the table, feeling the fabrics as he walked in.
"Silk and crape, that is what you ought to have worn, Miss Queenie," grumbled Caleb, with a dissatisfied face; but the girl only shook her head.
"Silk and crepe, that's what you should have worn, Miss Queenie," Caleb complained, looking unhappy; but the girl just shook her head.
"Crape is such dusty, inconvenient wear in the country, and Emmie is such a child," she returned; "these simple stuffs will be far more suitable. Fancy my wearing silk dresses in that little old barn of a school-room, or in our tiny cottage!"
"Crape is such dusty, inconvenient clothing in the country, and Emmie is just a kid," she replied; "these simple fabrics will be much more appropriate. Can you imagine me wearing silk dresses in that little old barn of a classroom or in our tiny cottage!"
"This is all of a piece with your fantastical scheme. Cambric! why Molly could wear that," continued Caleb, with the same rueful visage. "Dear, dear, what a tempting of Providence, hoarding and hiding in this miserly way, Miss Queenie. Why, as I said to Molly, our young lady can take one of those big new houses they are building near us, and have her carriage and her riding-horse; and no doubt she will visit at the Deanery, and at Rose Castle, and be an out-and-out fine lady; but I never thought it would come to this," dropping his hands on his knees in a low-spirited way.
"This is all part of your crazy plan. Cambric! Oh, Molly could wear that," continued Caleb, with the same sad expression. "Oh dear, what a test of fate, hoarding and hiding in such a stingy way, Miss Queenie. I told Molly, our young lady could take one of those big new houses they’re building nearby, have her own carriage and her riding horse; and no doubt she’ll visit the Deanery and Rose Castle, becoming a true elegant lady; but I never thought it would come to this," he said, dropping his hands on his knees in a downcast manner.
Queenie laughed, but she could not help an involuntary shudder at Caleb's picture of her future greatness. A house at Carlisle, a carriage, even prospective visits at the Deanery would be poor compensation if she must resign her friends at Hepshaw. Would not her fortune be productive of greater happiness, of more enduring pleasures than those Caleb offered her? "If I must be rich I will be rich in my own way," thought the girl, a little rebelliously; and all through that day and the next a thousand schemes and fancies flitted before her, as unsubstantial and impracticable as such airy castles generally prove themselves.
Queenie laughed, but she couldn't help shuddering involuntarily at Caleb's vision of her future greatness. A house in Carlisle, a carriage, even possible visits to the Deanery would be poor compensation if it meant leaving her friends in Hepshaw. Wouldn't her fortune bring her more happiness and lasting pleasures than what Caleb was offering? "If I have to be rich, I'll be rich in my own way," the girl thought a bit rebelliously; and throughout that day and the next, a thousand ideas and dreams floated through her mind, as unrealistic and impractical as such airy castles usually turn out to be.
A new and perfectly strange feeling of timidity came over her as the time drew near for her return to Hepshaw. Some complicated business arrangements had compelled her to lengthen her three days' visit into a week. Cathy had written to scold her for her delay; and Queenie had to ransack her brain to discover plausible excuses.
A new and completely odd sense of shyness washed over her as the time to head back to Hepshaw approached. Some complicated business matters had forced her to extend her three-day visit into a week. Cathy had written to chide her for taking so long, and Queenie had to search her mind for believable excuses.
"Garth has just come in from the works, and he bids me tell you that you must positively return on Saturday evening, as the school is to re-open on Monday," wrote Cathy. "They are getting on so nicely at the cottage that it will be quite ready for occupation in another ten days; and Langley has discovered a little jewel of a maid, who will just exactly suit you. Do you remember her—Patience Atkinson, the rosy-faced girl who lived next door to the wheelwright's?"
"Garth just got back from work, and he asked me to tell you that you definitely need to come back on Saturday evening since the school is reopening on Monday," Cathy wrote. "They're making great progress at the cottage, and it will be ready for you to move in another ten days. Plus, Langley found a wonderful maid who will be perfect for you. Do you remember her? Patience Atkinson, the rosy-faced girl who lived next door to the wheelwright's?"
Cathy's letter, with its girlish overflow of spirits and affectionate nonsense, caused Queenie a few moments' uneasiness. "I shall seem to be what I am not. I wonder if I am doing wrong to deceive them," she thought, with a sudden throb of startled honesty. "No; after all, it is my own business. I may spend, or hoard, or fling it all to the winds, and no one would have a right to complain of me."
Cathy's letter, filled with youthful enthusiasm and sweet nonsense, made Queenie feel a bit uneasy for a moment. "I might come across as someone I'm not. Am I wrong to mislead them?" she thought, feeling a sudden pang of unexpected honesty. "No; in the end, it’s my own choice. I can spend, save, or throw it all away, and no one has the right to judge me."
But, nevertheless, there was a guilty consciousness that made her for the first time shrink from meeting Garth Clayton's eye.
But still, there was a guilty awareness that made her, for the first time, hesitate to meet Garth Clayton's gaze.
It was evening when she arrived at Church-Stile House. Ted had met her at the station; Cathy and Emmie had come flying down the lane to meet them, and had greeted her rapturously. As she came across the moat, with the girls hanging on either arm, she saw Garth at the hall-door watching them.
It was evening when she arrived at Church-Stile House. Ted had picked her up at the station; Cathy and Emmie had rushed down the lane to greet them, and welcomed her excitedly. As she crossed the moat, with the girls hanging on either arm, she spotted Garth at the front door watching them.
"Why, what a truant you have been," he said, in his pleasant way. "We thought our new school-mistress had given us the slip. Cathy had got all sorts of notions in her head. One was that Mr. Calcott had left you a legacy. She narrated wonderful dreams to us one morning, of how you had a great fortune, and were going to marry a marquis."
"Wow, you’ve been quite the runaway," he said, cheerfully. "We thought our new teacher had ditched us. Cathy got all kinds of ideas in her head. One was that Mr. Calcott had left you an inheritance. She told us amazing stories one morning about how you had a huge fortune and were going to marry a marquis."
"Cathy is an inveterate dreamer," returned Queenie, avoiding Mr. Clayton's eyes as she spoke. How constrained her voice was; she was hot and cold in a moment. How strange that he should address her in this manner. Was it a presentiment or something?
"Cathy is a persistent dreamer," Queenie replied, avoiding Mr. Clayton's gaze as she spoke. Her voice was so tense; she felt both hot and cold in an instant. How odd that he would speak to her like this. Was it some kind of premonition or something?
"You are pale and tired; your visit to Carlisle has not agreed with you," he returned, following her into the drawing-room, where Langley was waiting for them. "It has brought back unpleasant memories, eh?" with an abruptness, not unkindly, but which made Queenie still more nervous.
"You look pale and exhausted; your trip to Carlisle hasn't suited you," he replied, entering the drawing-room after her, where Langley was waiting. "It's stirred up some unpleasant memories, hasn't it?" His directness wasn't unkind, but it only made Queenie even more anxious.
"Yes; and I believe I am tired," she stammered. "Mr. Runciman was very good to me, but he found it hard to let me go; that worried me rather; that and other things,"—the truth reluctantly drawn from her by those clear grey eyes.
"Yeah; and I think I'm tired," she stuttered. "Mr. Runciman was really good to me, but he had a hard time letting me go; that stressed me out a bit; that and other things,"—the truth was pulled from her by those clear gray eyes.
"I saw that at once," was the prompt reply, and then he left her to his sister's care. But later on in the evening, when she was rested and refreshed, he returned again to the charge.
"I realized that immediately," was the quick response, and then he left her in his sister's care. But later in the evening, when she was rested and refreshed, he returned to the task again.
"I suppose Mr. Calcott has left a great deal of money? I did not read in the paper at what amount his property was valued, but I suppose it was pretty considerable."
"I guess Mr. Calcott left a lot of money? I didn’t see in the paper how much his property was worth, but I assume it was quite a bit."
"Yes; I believe so," returned Queenie faintly. They were sitting round the open window; the lamp on the centre table cast only a dim light on their faces. Langley had been playing to them, and just now the music had ceased.
"Yeah; I think so," Queenie replied softly. They were sitting around the open window; the lamp on the center table cast only a dim light on their faces. Langley had been playing for them, and just now the music had stopped.
"Have you any idea how he has disposed of it? Every one thought there would be a new wing added to the hospital. He had not a relative in the world belonging to him, except your little sister Emmie."
"Do you have any idea how he got rid of it? Everyone thought they would be adding a new wing to the hospital. He didn't have a single relative left, except for your little sister Emmie."
"No; and he has left nothing to Emmie," she returned, thankful that in this she could speak the whole truth. "Nearly all of it has gone to a stranger, a mere connection. Caleb has an annuity; and I—he has not forgotten me," shielding her face still more in the darkness. "Emmie and I will have enough to live on now. I shall not need to give French lessons, or to add in any way to my salary," blurting out the lesson she had prepared herself to say.
"No; and he hasn’t left anything to Emmie," she replied, grateful that she could speak the whole truth in this matter. "Almost all of it has gone to a stranger, just a distant relative. Caleb has an annuity; and I—he hasn’t forgotten me," she said, covering her face even more in the darkness. "Emmie and I will have enough to live on now. I won’t need to give French lessons or do anything to add to my salary," she exclaimed, revealing the lesson she had prepared to share.
"Will you have enough without the school?" persisted Garth curiously. His keen ear had detected a certain trembling in Queenie's voice. Her agitation had not escaped him, and he was trying in his straightforward way to find out why she was not like herself to-night. "Do you mean that your salary is no longer of importance to you?"
"Will you be okay without school?" Garth asked, still curious. His sharp ears had picked up on a certain quiver in Queenie's voice. He noticed her unease and was trying, in his direct way, to understand why she wasn’t acting like herself tonight. "Are you saying that your salary doesn't matter to you anymore?"
"It is not all that we shall have to live on, that is what I meant to say," she returned hurriedly. "I shall not have to stint, or be afraid of how we shall make ends meet; there will be enough. Emmie will have little comforts; that is all I care for."
"It’s not everything we’ll have to rely on, that’s what I meant to say," she replied quickly. "I won’t have to hold back, or worry about how we’ll get by; there will be enough. Emmie will have her little comforts; that’s all I care about."
"I am very glad," returned Garth, gravely; but he questioned her no more. Possibly he expected her further confidence, and was a little disappointed when she withheld it. Neither on that evening nor on any further occasion did he revert to the subject; and Queenie, who began to feel her position an embarrassing one, was glad that the whole matter should be consigned to oblivion.
"I’m really glad," Garth replied seriously; but he didn’t ask her anything else. Maybe he thought she would share more, and felt a bit let down when she didn’t. Neither that evening nor at any other time did he bring it up again; and Queenie, who started to feel awkward about the whole situation, was relieved that the entire issue could be forgotten.
Cathy's curiosity was much more easily satisfied.
Cathy's curiosity was much easier to satisfy.
"There, my dream has come true," she said, embracing her ecstatically when they had retired to their own rooms. "Why did you not write and tell me about it? Will you have much, Queen—a whole hundred a-year?"
"There, my dream has come true," she said, hugging her excitedly when they had gone to their own rooms. "Why didn’t you write and tell me about it? Will you have a lot, Queen—a whole hundred a year?"
"Yes; I shall have a hundred a-year," returned Queenie, trying not to laugh. When she was away from those keen grey eyes she felt something like a renewal of courage. Her spirits returned; the whole thing appeared to her in the light of a good joke. "When it comes out, and he asks me the reason of this mystery, I know what I shall tell him," she thought, when Cathy had withdrawn, well pleased, and she was left alone for the night. "I shall tell him that I wanted to remain poor a little longer, and to be liked for myself; that I feared losing the school and the cottage; that it was an innocent whim that could do no one harm, and that would give me a great deal of pleasure," and when she had settled this point comfortably with herself she composed herself to sleep.
"Yeah, I'll have a hundred a year," Queenie replied, trying not to laugh. When she was away from those sharp grey eyes, she felt a bit of courage come back. Her spirits lifted; the whole situation seemed like a good joke to her. "When it comes out, and he asks me why I did this, I know exactly what I'll tell him," she thought after Cathy had left, feeling satisfied, and she was alone for the night. "I'll say I wanted to stay poor a bit longer, to be liked for who I am; that I was worried about losing the school and the cottage; that it was just a harmless whim that wouldn’t hurt anyone and would make me really happy," and once she had settled this in her mind, she got ready for bed.
CHAPTER VII.
WEAVING IN THE SUNSET.
"Where waitest thou,
Lady I am to love? Thou comest not;
Thou knowest of my sad and lonely lot;
I look'd for thee ere now!
"Where are you waiting,
Lady I am to love? You haven't come;
You know of my sad and lonely situation;
I expected to see you by now!
"It is the May!
And each sweet sister soul hath found its brother;
Only we two seek fondly each the other,
And, seeking, still delay."—Arnold.
"It’s May!
And every sweet sister soul has found its brother;
Only we two are fondly searching for each other,
And, while searching, we still hesitate."—Arnold.
Queenie entered upon her new duties with an ardor that would have surprised any one acquainted with the real state of the case. If a feeling of amusement sometimes crossed her mind at the incongruity between her present position and the heiress-ship she had refused to take up, it only added zest and flavor to her work.
Queenie took on her new responsibilities with enthusiasm that would have shocked anyone who knew the true situation. If she occasionally felt amused by the irony of her current role compared to the inheritance she had declined, it only made her work more enjoyable.
Queenie Marriott was one of those women whose zeal was according to knowledge. She loved her work for its own sake. In her eyes it was invested with a meaning and dignity that redeemed it from its so-called drudgery, and placed it high in the ranks of honorable labor.
Queenie Marriott was one of those women whose enthusiasm matched her understanding. She loved her work for its own sake. To her, it held a significance and dignity that elevated it above its so-called drudgery and placed it among the most honorable types of work.
Her youthful enthusiasm anointed everything with a sort of moral chrism. The little barnlike structure, with its half-moon windows, and rough forms and desks, was a species of temple wherein she enshrined all manner of precious things. When she looked round on the children's faces they seemed to appeal to her with all sorts of involved meanings, demanding patience and sympathy, and all such goodly things at her hands.
Her youthful enthusiasm blessed everything with a kind of moral glow. The small barn-like building, with its half-moon windows and rough shapes and desks, felt like a temple where she kept all kinds of precious things. When she looked at the children's faces, they seemed to call out to her with all sorts of complex meanings, asking for patience and sympathy, and all those good things from her.
Queenie knew the royal road to learning lay through her pupils' hearts. She must love them, and teach them to love her; obedience would follow as a matter of course. All children were dear to her, for Emmie's sake. Now and then, through the buzz of voices droning through the repetition lessons, there would come before her a certain vivid memory, stabbing her with sudden, sharp pain—a dark garret haunted with shadows; a pale-faced child crouched on the window-seat, wrapped in an old red shawl, with great blue eyes dim with fear; of a little figure stricken down, and lying amongst them as one that was dead; of a sick-room where a child-martyr went down into the very valley of the shadow of death, where a fight so long and terrible was carried on that the weary watcher only covered her face with her trembling hands, and prayed for merciful death to come as a deliverer.
Queenie understood that the best way to teach was through her students' hearts. She had to love them and teach them to love her; obedience would naturally follow. All children were precious to her, especially for Emmie's sake. Occasionally, amidst the buzzing voices droning on during the repetition lessons, a vivid memory would strike her with sudden, sharp pain—a dark attic filled with shadows; a pale child curled up on the window seat, wrapped in an old red shawl, with huge blue eyes clouded with fear; a small figure brought low and lying among them as if lifeless; a sickroom where a child martyr faced the very depths of despair, enduring a long and horrific battle that left the weary watcher covering her face with trembling hands, praying for merciful death to arrive as a savior.
And so for the sake of that childish sufferer, and that great miracle of healing—Queenie clave with very love to all children. There was one child, Prissy Atkinson, the sister of the very Patience whom Langley had selected as her little maid, to whom she showed especial kindness.
And so, for the sake of that innocent sufferer, and that incredible miracle of healing—Queenie felt a deep love for all children. There was one child, Prissy Atkinson, the sister of the very Patience whom Langley had chosen as her little maid, to whom she gave special kindness.
She was the plainest and most uninteresting girl in the school, slightly lame, and with an odd drawl and lisp in her voice, ungainly in manner, and with no particular cleverness to recommend her; yet, by some undefinable feeling, Queenie singled out this child as an object of her interest.
She was the plainest and most boring girl in the school, a little lame, and had a weird drawl and lisp in her voice, awkward in her movements, and with no special intelligence to make her stand out; yet, for some unknown reason, Queenie picked this girl as someone she was interested in.
The little rough head often felt a tender hand laid upon it. The gentlest voice Prissy had ever heard would accost her now and then; difficult tasks were smoothed by magic; pleasant smiles would reward her diligence. When her head once ached, a resting-place was found for it on teacher's own shoulder. "Oh, teacher! I love you! I do love you so!" cried Prissy, out of the fulness of her heart, throwing her thin arms round Queenie's neck. Was the warm kiss that answered her given in reality to Prissy or to Emmie?
The little rough head often felt a gentle hand resting on it. The kindest voice Prissy had ever heard would speak to her every now and then; tough tasks were made easy like magic; warm smiles would reward her hard work. When her head hurt, she found a resting place on the teacher's shoulder. "Oh, teacher! I love you! I really love you!" Prissy exclaimed from the depths of her heart, throwing her thin arms around Queenie's neck. Was the warm kiss that responded to her meant for Prissy or for Emmie?
Emmie would come sometimes and look in at the open door, with round blue eyes, very wide open with pleasure and astonishment. The little girls would look up from their tasks and nod at her; the sisters would interchange fond, satisfied looks. Sometimes a tall figure would pause for a moment behind Emmie; then a strong arm would draw the child from the threshold.
Emmie would occasionally peek in through the open door, her round blue eyes wide with joy and surprise. The little girls would glance up from their tasks and nod at her; the sisters would share affectionate, contented glances. Sometimes, a tall figure would stop for a moment behind Emmie, and then a strong arm would pull the child away from the entrance.
"Naughty Emmie! infringing the rules in school-hours. Do you know I shall have you put on a form as an example for disobedient children? Why has Langley allowed you to play truant in this way?"
"Naughty Emmie! Breaking the rules during school hours. Do you know I’m going to put you on display as an example for disobedient children? Why has Langley let you skip school like this?"
"I ran away from Cathy, down the lane," Emmie answered, clinging to his hand, and looking up coaxingly into his face. "I do love to see Queenie amongst them all. Did she not look nice, Mr. Clayton?"
"I ran away from Cathy, down the lane," Emmie replied, holding onto his hand and looking up at him with a pleading expression. "I really love seeing Queenie with everyone. Didn't she look great, Mr. Clayton?"
"Very nice," returned Garth absently. In reality he was pondering over the little scene he had just witnessed. "It would make a picture," he thought; "the slim, girlish figure in the black dress, the bent brown head, the children's eager faces, the bowl of white narcissus on the desk, the sunshine streaming in at the open door." She had looked up at him, and smiled as he stood there, such a bright smile; somehow it haunted him. "What a brave, true heart it is," he thought, as he went down the village with Emmie still clinging closely to him. "She looked as proud of herself and her work as ever Princess Ida amongst her golden-haired girl-graduates. That is what I like about her; she is superior to the nonsense and conventionality of the present day. Most women would have felt themselves humiliated in her position; but she seems to have grasped the real meaning of her work and purpose. If it were not selfish I could find it in my heart to be half sorry about that legacy. I wanted to see if the bare crust she talked about would have set her teeth on edge in the eating. I had a notion that it would have been pleasant to see her working up her way alone; and then one would have a faint chance of helping her. She is beyond this now; Cathy says he has left her a hundred a-year. Why, with her salary and what she has they will have close upon two hundred. They will do capitally on that; and, after all, one would not like to see them pinch. Well, it is none of my business," finished Garth, rousing himself from his cogitations. "I wish Dora could have seen her just now, giving that object lesson; I fancy she would have changed her opinion altogether. How strange it was that they did not seem to take to each other; but then women are strange creatures, and difficult to understand."
"Very nice," Garth replied absently. In truth, he was thinking about the little scene he had just witnessed. "It would make a great picture," he thought; "the slender, girlish figure in the black dress, the bent brown head, the children's eager faces, the bowl of white narcissus on the desk, the sunshine streaming in through the open door." She had looked up at him and smiled as he stood there, such a bright smile; somehow it stayed with him. "What a brave, genuine heart she has," he thought as he walked through the village with Emmie still holding onto him tightly. "She looked as proud of herself and her work as ever Princess Ida among her golden-haired graduates. That's what I admire about her; she rises above the nonsense and conventions of today. Most women would have felt humiliated in her position, but she seems to really understand the meaning of her work and purpose. If it weren't selfish, I could almost feel sorry about that legacy. I wanted to see if the bare crust she mentioned would have set her teeth on edge while eating it. I thought it would have been nice to see her work her way up on her own; then there would be a slight chance to help her. She's beyond that now; Cathy says he left her a hundred a year. With her salary and what she has, they'll be close to two hundred. They'll do great with that; and after all, I wouldn't want to see them struggle. Well, it’s not my concern," Garth concluded, pulling himself out of his thoughts. "I wish Dora could have seen her just now, giving that object lesson; I bet she would have completely changed her opinion. How strange it was that they didn’t seem to connect; but then women are peculiar beings and hard to understand."
It was an odd coincidence that made Garth think of Dora; for at that moment her little pony-carriage turned the corner of the lane. She waved her whip and her little gloved hand as she saw him; and Garth crossed the road with a slight flush on his face.
It was a strange coincidence that made Garth think of Dora, because at that moment her little pony-cart rounded the corner of the lane. She waved her whip and her small gloved hand when she spotted him, and Garth crossed the street with a slight blush on his face.
"I wanted to see Miss Marriott. I promised to call upon her; but I find the cottage is still unoccupied," said Miss Cunningham, leaning a little towards him, and fixing her calm blue eyes on his face. Not a look or gesture escaped her scrutiny. His slight confusion at her unexpected appearance was perfectly transparent to her. "Things are going on as they ought to go on," she said to herself; "but there is no need to hurry it;" and though her pulses quickened a little at his obvious pleasure at seeing her she would have scorned to betray her interest.
"I wanted to see Miss Marriott. I promised to visit her, but I’ve found that the cottage is still empty," said Miss Cunningham, leaning slightly toward him and fixing her calm blue eyes on his face. Not a look or gesture escaped her notice. His slight confusion at her unexpected arrival was completely obvious to her. "Everything is unfolding as it should," she thought to herself; "but there’s no need to rush it." And even though her heart raced a little at his clear pleasure in seeing her, she would have been embarrassed to reveal her interest.
"They do not go in until Tuesday; we shall keep them until then," returned Garth, stroking the pony's neck absently. Dora was looking prettier than ever this morning, he thought. She wore a hat with a long, white curling feather; the golden hair shone under it; she patted it nonchalantly with her little gloved hand as she talked. Emmie interrupted them presently.
"They won't go in until Tuesday; we'll keep them until then," Garth replied, absently stroking the pony's neck. Dora looked prettier than ever this morning, he thought. She wore a hat with a long, white curling feather; her golden hair shimmered beneath it. She casually patted it with her little gloved hand while she spoke. Emmie interrupted them shortly after.
"School is over! there are the girls coming out. Prissy is last, of course. Ah! there is Queenie!" and she darted across the road, and almost threw herself on her sister. Queenie did not quicken her steps when she saw them. She came up a little reluctantly when she recognized the occupant of the pony-carriage.
"School's out! Here come the girls. Prissy is last, as usual. Ah! There's Queenie!" She ran across the road and almost jumped on her sister. Queenie didn't speed up when she saw them. She approached a bit hesitantly when she recognized who was in the pony carriage.
Dora greeted her with her usual good-humor.
Dora greeted her with her usual cheerful attitude.
"Ah, there you are, Miss Marriott! how cool you look in that nice, broad-brimmed hat. But I am sorry to see you in black. You have lost a friend, Mr. Clayton tells me. Well, I told you that I should call and have a chat about the school and all manner of things. Will you jump in and let me drive you up the lane. Langley has promised me some luncheon."
"Ah, there you are, Miss Marriott! You look great in that nice, wide-brimmed hat. But I’m sorry to see you wearing black. I heard from Mr. Clayton that you lost a friend. Well, I mentioned that I would come by to chat about school and all sorts of things. Would you like to hop in and let me drive you up the lane? Langley has promised me some lunch."
"Emmie and I will be at the house as soon as you," returned Queenie, taking the child's hand and walking on swiftly. Miss Cunningham meant to be kind, she was sure of that; why was it that her manner always irritated her? There was a flavor of patronage in it that galled her sensitiveness. "Perhaps if she knew I had five thousand a-year she might change her tone," thought Queenie, a little wrathfully. "I never find it difficult to get on with people; and yet in my heart I cannot like her. Why will she make it her business to poach on other people's manor? The Hepshaw school is my affair, and has nothing to do with Crossbill Vicarage."
"Emmie and I will be at the house as soon as you are," Queenie replied, taking the child's hand and walking quickly. Miss Cunningham meant well, she was sure of that, but why did her attitude always annoy her? There was a tone of condescension in it that hurt her feelings. "Maybe if she knew I made five thousand a year, she'd change her tone," Queenie thought, a bit angrily. "I never find it hard to get along with people, yet deep down, I can’t like her. Why does she feel the need to interfere in other people's business? The Hepshaw school is my responsibility and has nothing to do with Crossbill Vicarage."
Miss Cunningham seemed to think otherwise. She cross-examined Queenie all through luncheon on a hundred petty details. Queenie, to her surprise, found she was acquainted with many of the girls' names and histories. She put the new mistress right on one or two points with much shrewdness and cleverness. She could talk, and talk well, on most subjects. By-and-bye, when the school was exhausted, she turned to Garth, and argued quite a knotty point of politics with him, elucidating her view with a clear-headedness and force of words that surprised her feminine hearers.
Miss Cunningham seemed to think differently. She grilled Queenie throughout lunch on a hundred trivial details. Queenie, to her surprise, realized she knew many of the girls' names and backgrounds. She corrected the new teacher on a couple of points with a lot of insight and skill. She could hold her own in conversations on most topics. Eventually, when the school was worn out, she turned to Garth and debated a tricky political issue with him, explaining her perspective with a clarity and strength in her words that surprised her female listeners.
Garth had much ado to hold his own against her, but the consciousness of being in the right gave him the advantage.
Garth had a hard time standing his ground against her, but knowing he was in the right gave him the upper hand.
"Now, Miss Dora, I think you must yield this once," he said, looking at her triumphantly. Dora measured him with her glance before she answered.
"Now, Miss Dora, I think you need to give in just this once," he said, looking at her with triumph. Dora sized him up with her eyes before she replied.
"I never yield to papa, but I suppose I must to you," she said in the quietest manner possible, and there was a slight stress on the last word that made Garth redden as though he had received an unexpected concession.
"I never give in to Dad, but I guess I have to to you," she said as quietly as she could, and there was a slight emphasis on the last word that made Garth blush as if he had received an unexpected favor.
He placed himself at her side when they went into the garden after luncheon, and appeared determined to monopolize her attention; but this did not seem to suit Miss Cunningham, for she called Cathy to her, and the two commenced a conversation in which he soon found himself excluded. Once or twice, when he turned restive under this treatment, and seemed to incline to seek conversation in a little talk with Queenie, a soft glance from Dora's blue eyes recalled and kept him stationary.
He positioned himself next to her when they went into the garden after lunch and seemed set on keeping her attention for himself; however, Miss Cunningham didn’t seem to appreciate that, as she called Cathy over, and the two started a conversation that soon left him out. A couple of times, when he became restless under this treatment and appeared to want to chat with Queenie, a gentle look from Dora's blue eyes brought him back and kept him in place.
"All this is so uninteresting to you gentlemen, you like politics better," she said presently in a low voice, as though appealing for pardon; "if you will gather me a few flowers, Mr. Clayton, I shall soon have finished my talk with Cathy, and then we will take a turn down the plane-tree walk; it looks so cool and shady." But when the flowers were tastefully arranged, and Garth, with a little look of triumph, threw open the gate for her to pass through, Dora still held Cathy's arm. It was not quite as enjoyable as Garth had fancied it would be. Dora was all amiability and sweetness; she had the roses in her hands, and touched them tenderly from time to time. She tripped beside him, holding up her long white dress with one hand, the other rested lightly on Cathy's arm. Her blue eyes looked yearningly at him and the sunset together.
"All of this is so boring for you guys, you prefer politics," she said quietly as if seeking forgiveness; "if you could pick me some flowers, Mr. Clayton, I'll wrap up my conversation with Cathy soon, and then we can stroll down the sycamore path; it looks so cool and shady." But once the flowers were beautifully arranged, and Garth, with a hint of triumph, opened the gate for her to walk through, Dora still held on to Cathy's arm. It wasn't quite as enjoyable as Garth had imagined it would be. Dora was all charm and sweetness; she held the roses in her hands and occasionally touched them gently. She glided beside him, lifting her long white dress with one hand while resting the other lightly on Cathy's arm. Her blue eyes looked longingly at him and the sunset together.
"How calm and still everything looks. I think I love this old walk better than any place in the world. It reminds me of old days, Mr. Clayton, when you and I and Cathy used to walk here."
"How peaceful and quiet everything looks. I think I love this old path more than any other place in the world. It brings back memories of the old days, Mr. Clayton, when you, Cathy, and I used to walk here."
"When we were children we used to say that two were company and three none," responded Garth sulkily. The hint was so obvious that Cathy would at once have made her escape, but Dora tightened her grasp on her arm with a slightly heightened color.
"When we were kids, we used to say that two was a crowd and three was none," Garth replied sulkily. The hint was so obvious that Cathy would have jumped at the chance to leave, but Dora tightened her grip on her arm, her face slightly flushed.
"That depends on one's company. One could never find Cathy in the way," she said, with a little infusion of tenderness in her voice.
"That depends on who you're with. You could never find Cathy in the way," she said, with a touch of warmth in her voice.
"Never! can you imagine no possible circumstances in which a duet would be preferable?" questioned Garth, turning on her so abruptly that Dora, for all her coolness, was non-plussed for the moment. What was he going to say? With all her prudence she felt alarmed and fluttered, but the thought of her girls calmed her into soberness again.
"Never! Can you really think of any situation where a duet would be better?" Garth asked, spinning around to face her so suddenly that Dora, despite her composure, was momentarily taken aback. What was he about to say? Despite her careful nature, she felt anxious and flustered, but the thought of her daughters brought her back to a steady state.
"I never was good at guessing riddles," she returned, not perusing the gravel at her feet as some girls would have done in her place, but looking full at him with unblenching eyes. "Just now a trio suits me best, that is all I meant."
"I was never good at guessing riddles," she replied, not staring at the gravel at her feet like some girls would have in her situation, but looking directly at him with steady eyes. "Right now, a trio works best for me, that's all I meant."
"Pshaw," he muttered, turning angrily away. Was she fooling him after all? He was not a man who would ever understand coquetry or caprice; such things would have simply disgusted him; but then he knew Dora was no coquette. "She is trying to manage me for some purpose of her own; she wants me to come to a certain point and no further; she is showing me very plainly what she means," he said to himself, repulsed and yet attracted in spite of himself by this strange conduct. After all the plane-tree walk and the sunset, now he had them, were failures. He had not once this evening called her Dora. How could he, with Cathy walking there beside them, and noting his discomfiture with her keen girlish eyes. True, he had not known what he would have said to her if they had been alone; sentiment was only just waking up in Garth's nature. A week or two ago he would have pronounced himself heart-whole, would have laughed at the notion of his being in love. Why had a sudden fancy come to him for golden hair and sunsets, and quiet evening strolls? Was he feeling dimly after something? was this restlessness, this indefinable longing after some visionary ideal, a part of the disease?
"Pshaw," he muttered, turning angrily away. Was she really messing with him after all? He wasn't someone who would ever get flirty behavior or whims; those things would have just turned him off. But he knew Dora wasn’t the type to play games. "She’s trying to manipulate me for some reason; she wants me to reach a specific point and not go any further; she’s making her intentions very clear," he thought to himself, feeling both repelled and strangely drawn to her odd behavior despite himself. After all the time they spent walking under the plane trees and watching the sunset, now he realized those moments didn’t matter. He hadn’t addressed her as Dora even once that evening. How could he, with Cathy walking right beside them, observing his discomfort with her sharp, youthful eyes? True, he was unsure what he would have said to her if they’d been alone; romantic feelings were just starting to stir in Garth. A week or two ago, he would have declared himself completely unaffected, would have laughed at the idea of being in love. Why had a sudden attraction for golden hair, sunsets, and peaceful evening walks come over him? Was he reaching out for something? Was this restlessness, this vague yearning for some ideal vision, a part of what was troubling him?
Garth could not have answered these questions if his life depended on it. He had ceased to be satisfied with his sister's company. A craving after some new excitement made itself very plainly felt at this time. His pulses were throbbing with fresh life; the world was before him, the young man's world; he had only to look round him and choose. Strong, keen-eyed, vigorous, with dominant will and sober judgment, what obstacle need he dread? what impediments could he not overcome?
Garth wouldn’t have been able to answer those questions even if his life depended on it. He was no longer satisfied with his sister’s company. A desire for some new excitement was clearly felt at that moment. His heart was racing with new energy; the world was open to him, the world of a young man; all he had to do was look around and choose. Strong, sharp-eyed, vigorous, with a strong will and sound judgment, what obstacle should he fear? What challenges could he not conquer?
Hitherto freedom, and the mystery obscuring his future fate, had had a strange charm in Garth's eyes. It had pleased him to know that such things were for him when he should stoop and open his hand to receive the best gift of heaven. "I suppose I shall fall in love some day, every one does; but there is plenty of time for that sort of thing," he often said to his sisters, and there had been an amused look upon his face, as though the notion pleased him.
So far, freedom and the uncertainty about his future had a strange appeal for Garth. He liked the idea that these things were waiting for him when he decided to lower his guard and accept the greatest gift life could offer. "I guess I’ll fall in love someday; that happens to everyone. But I’ve got plenty of time for that," he often told his sisters, with an amused expression on his face, as if he found the idea enjoyable.
But, in spite of his young man's conceit, Garth had an old-fashioned reverence in speaking on such subjects. It would not be too much to say that he stood, as it were, bare-headed on holy ground. One evening, shortly after Queenie's return from Carlisle, Cathy had been repeating to them scraps of poetry as they sat round the open window in the twilight, and by-and-bye she commenced in a low voice reciting some quaint old lines of Arnold, in which this craving for an unknown love is most touchingly depicted.
But despite his youthful arrogance, Garth had an old-fashioned respect when discussing these topics. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that he felt, in a sense, like he was bare-headed on sacred ground. One evening, shortly after Queenie came back from Carlisle, Cathy had been sharing bits of poetry while they sat around the open window in the twilight. Gradually, she started softly reciting some charming old lines by Arnold, where this longing for an unknown love is beautifully portrayed.
"Thou art as I—
Thy soul doth wait for mine, as mine for thee;
We cannot live apart must meeting be
Never before we die?
"You are like me—
Your soul waits for mine, just as mine waits for you;
We can't live separately; must we meet
Only after we die?
"Dear soul, not so!
That time doth keep for us some happy years,
That God hath portion'd out our smiles and tears,
Thou knowest, and I know.
"Dear soul, not at all!
Time does give us some joyful years,
That God has divided our smiles and tears,
You know it, and I know it.
"Yes, we shall meet!
And therefore let our searching be the stronger:
Dark days of life shall not divide us longer.
Nor doubt, nor danger, sweet!
"Yes, we will meet!
So let our searching be even stronger:
The dark days of life won't keep us apart any longer.
Neither doubt nor danger, my dear!
"Therefore I bear
This winter-tide as bravely as I may,
Patiently waiting for the bright spring-day
That cometh with thee, dear."
"Therefore I endure
This winter season as best as I can,
Patiently waiting for the bright spring day
That comes with you, dear."
"How beautiful!" sighed Langley. "I have always been so fond of those lines. Your new song, 'My Queen.' embodies the same meaning, Cathy." But Garth said nothing; he only sat for a long time shading his eyes with his hand, and there was a certain moved look on his face when he uncovered it as though he had been strongly affected.
"How beautiful!" Langley sighed. "I've always loved those lines. Your new song, 'My Queen,' captures the same essence, Cathy." But Garth didn’t say anything; he just sat there for a long time, shading his eyes with his hand, and when he finally uncovered his face, there was a look of deep emotion on it as if he had been really touched.
But ever since that evening the restlessness had grown upon him, and there had been a certain carping fastidiousness in his manner to his sisters; and once or twice he had used Dora's name as a sort of reproach. "If you were only as good a manager as Miss Cunningham, Langley;" or "I wish you would read more, and choose your books as sensibly as Miss Dora does, Cathy."
But ever since that evening, his restlessness had increased, and he had been a bit critical and particular with his sisters. A couple of times, he even brought up Dora's name as a way to point fingers. "If you were only as good a manager as Miss Cunningham, Langley," or "I wish you would read more and pick your books as thoughtfully as Miss Dora does, Cathy."
Langley took her rebuke meekly and in silence; but Cathy treated her brother to a contemptuous shrug and a disdainful look.
Langley accepted her scolding quietly and without protest; but Cathy gave her brother a dismissive shrug and a scornful stare.
"Dora; I am sick of Dora. Every one sees how that will end," she said in a vexed voice, when they had come in from the garden, and she had followed her friend up-stairs. "When that happens I suppose we shall all be managed into our graves."
"Dora; I'm tired of Dora. Everyone can see how that will end," she said in an irritated tone after they had come in from the garden and she followed her friend upstairs. "When that happens, I guess we’ll all be controlled into our graves."
"Oh don't!" exclaimed Queenie, with a sudden accent of pain, and becoming somewhat pale over her words. "She is not good enough for him—for your brother."
"Oh no!" exclaimed Queenie, suddenly sounding pained and turning a bit pale as she spoke. "She's not good enough for him—for your brother."
"She is too good, you mean. I hate such faultless people. Dora is never in the wrong; she is a pattern daughter, a pattern sister, a model housekeeper, and unexceptionable in all parochial and social duties; the work she gets through would astonish your weak mind."
"She’s too perfect, you mean. I can't stand people like that. Dora is never at fault; she’s the ideal daughter, the ideal sister, a model homemaker, and flawless in every community and social responsibility. The amount she accomplishes would blow your mind."
"And then she is so clever."
"And then she's really smart."
"Clever! she is a perfect paragon of learning. She educated her sisters until they went to Brussels. Then she is no mean musician; she works beautifully too, and copies out all her father's sermons. I am not sure she does not write them as well."
"Clever! She's a perfect example of intelligence. She taught her sisters until they moved to Brussels. Plus, she's quite a talented musician; she plays beautifully and also transcribes all her father's sermons. I'm not sure she doesn't write them too."
"Ah! now I can see you are joking."
"Ah! Now I can see you're joking."
"My dear, Dora is no joking matter, I can assure you; she and her goodness together are very ponderous affairs. Do you think Garth does not know all this? Why he and Dora have been friends ever since they were children."
"My dear, Dora is not a joke, I can assure you; she and her goodness are very serious matters. Do you think Garth doesn’t know all of this? He and Dora have been friends since they were kids."
"I can see that he respects her most thoroughly."
"I can tell that he really respects her."
"Not more than she respects him; she is always telling how excellent he is, and what a model to other young men. When I am in a very good humor with Garth, I sometimes repeat these little speeches, only I have come lately to doubt the wisdom of adding fuel to the fire."
"Not more than she respects him; she's always talking about how great he is and what a role model he is for other young men. When I'm in a really good mood with Garth, I sometimes repeat these little speeches, but lately I've started to question the wisdom of adding fuel to the fire."
"Surely such perfection must satisfy you as well as him, or you must be difficult to please," returned Queenie a little sarcastically. A numb, undefinable sort of pain seemed taking possession of her. Would Hepshaw be quite so desirable a place of residence when Dora was mistress of Church-Stile House? this was the question she asked herself. And for the first time the thought of her fortune gave her a positive feeling of pleasure.
"Surely that kind of perfection must make you as happy as it makes him, or you must be really hard to please," Queenie replied, a bit sarcastically. A dull, vague pain started to settle in her. Would Hepshaw still be such an appealing place to live when Dora was in charge of Church-Stile House? That was the question she was asking herself. And for the first time, thinking about her fortune brought her a real sense of pleasure.
"Oh, as to that, I am very fond of Dora," replied Cathy carelessly; "she amuses me, and she is very good-natured; and then one must like one's future sister-in-law for the sake of dear old Garth. I only hope she will have the good sense not to try and manage him, for he will never stand it."
"Oh, about that, I really like Dora," replied Cathy casually; "she makes me laugh, and she's really easygoing; plus, you have to get along with your future sister-in-law for dear old Garth’s sake. I just hope she has the good sense not to try to control him, because he won't tolerate it."
This conversation depressed Queenie somehow, and kept her wakeful and restless; it did not add to her tranquillity to hear Garth's footsteps under her window, crunching the gravel walk, for long after they had retired. It was contrary to his usual habit; it argued disturbance or preoccupation of mind.
This conversation made Queenie feel down and kept her awake and restless; it didn’t help her relax to hear Garth’s footsteps under her window, crunching the gravel path, long after they had gone to bed. It was unlike him; it suggested he was disturbed or deep in thought.
Garth's soliloquy would have perplexed both her and Cathy if they had heard it.
Garth's monologue would have confused both her and Cathy if they had heard it.
"I wonder if I am in love with Dora after all?" he was asking himself, as he lighted himself a fresh cigar, and then stood leaning against the little gate, looking down the plane-tree walk. It was moonlight now, and the monuments glimmered in the white light; there were faint, eerie shadows under the dark trees; now and then a night-bird called, or a dog barked from the village, and then stillness gathered over everything again.
"I wonder if I'm in love with Dora after all?" he thought to himself as he lit a fresh cigar, then leaned against the small gate, looking down the tree-lined path. It was now moonlight, and the monuments shimmered in the bright light; there were faint, spooky shadows under the dark trees; occasionally, a night bird called or a dog barked from the village, and then a calm settled over everything once more.
"I wonder if I am really in love, or if I am only arguing myself into it. Now I come to think of it, when I imagined my future wife I always thought of Dora; we have grown up together, and it seems natural somehow; and then I had always a boyish fancy for golden hair. What a pretty little head it is, as well as a wise one. I wish she were not quite so independent, and would lean on a fellow more. I suppose it is the fault of circumstances. Every one depends on her—her father and her sisters. She never had the chance of being helpless like other women. I always think of that and make allowance for her faults.
"I wonder if I’m really in love or if I’m just convincing myself that I am. Now that I think about it, whenever I imagined my future wife, I always pictured Dora; we grew up together, and it feels natural in a way. Plus, I’ve always had a boyish crush on golden hair. What a pretty little head she has, as well as a smart one. I wish she weren't quite so independent and would rely on someone more. I guess it’s due to her circumstances. Everyone relies on her—her dad and her sisters. She never had the chance to be vulnerable like other women. I always keep that in mind and try to be understanding of her flaws."
"Sometimes," soliloquized the young philosopher as his cigar went out, and he calmly relighted it, "sometimes I'm afraid that if we ever came together I might find her a little masterful and opinionated; that is the danger with capable women, they have their own notions and stick to them. I confess I should like my wife to follow my ideas, and not to be lady paramount in everything; not that even Dora would find it easy to manage me," continued Garth, with an amused curl of the lip.
"Sometimes," the young philosopher thought to himself as his cigar went out, and he calmly relit it, "sometimes I worry that if we ever got together, I might find her a bit too controlling and opinionated; that's the risk with capable women—they have their own ideas and stand by them. I admit I would like my wife to go along with my thoughts and not be in charge of everything; not that even Dora would find it easy to handle me," Garth continued, with an amused smile.
"What a nice, sensible little companion she would be for a man," he resumed presently, after the firm even footsteps had crunched the gravel awhile. "That is the best of her, she never bores or wearies one; she is always fresh and good-humored, and ready to take interest in everything, even in the schools, and Miss Marriott, only Miss Marriott repulses her somehow. Her manner vexed me this afternoon; there was a stand-offishness and a reserve in it, as though Dora's interest offended her. She never appears at her best advantage when Dora is with us. Why am I always comparing those two? somehow I can't help it. Dora interests me most, of course; and yet men who are in love seldom study the pros and cons of character as I have been doing for the last half-hour. Certainly some of the symptoms are still lacking, or else I am too matter-of-fact a fellow to have them. And yet I don't know. What were those lines Cathy repeated the other night? How well the little puss recited them; with such feeling too.
"What a nice, sensible little companion she would be for a man," he said after a moment, the sound of firm footsteps crunching on the gravel for a bit. "That's the best thing about her; she never bores or tires you out. She's always fresh and good-humored and eager to take an interest in everything, even in the schools. But Miss Marriott, well, she somehow pushes her away. Her attitude annoyed me this afternoon; there was a distance and a reserve in it, as if Dora's interest bothered her. She never seems at her best when Dora is around. Why do I keep comparing those two? I can’t help it. Dora interests me the most, of course; and yet men who are in love rarely analyze character as I have been doing for the last half-hour. There are definitely some signs missing, or maybe I’m just too practical a guy to have them. And yet, I don't know. What were those lines Cathy recited the other night? She did such a great job with them; so much emotion, too.
'Thy soul doth wait for mine, as mine for thee;
We cannot live apart.'
'Your soul waits for mine, just like mine waits for yours;
We can't live separately.'
Humph! I am not in love so much as all that, and I don't think Dora is either. I have a doubt whether the 'open sesame' has been said to either of us yet; if so, 'where waitest thou, lady I am to love?' Well, it is a rare old poem, and touches a fellow up in an extraordinary sort of way. I have got it by heart now, and it haunts me to a droll extent. There, my cigar is out, confound it, so I may as well get rid of all this moonshine and go in. How runs the last verse—
Humph! I'm not really in love that much, and I don’t think Dora is either. I wonder whether the 'open sesame' has been said to either of us yet; if it has, 'where are you waiting, lady I'm supposed to love?' Well, it’s a classic old poem, and it hits me in a really strange way. I’ve memorized it now, and it sticks with me in a funny way. There, my cigar is out, darn it, so I might as well get rid of all this moonshine and head inside. How does the last verse go—
'Tis the May-light
That crimsons all the quiet college gloom.
May it shine softly in thy sleeping room;
And so, dear wife, good night.'"
'It's the May light
That colors all the quiet college gloom.
May it shine gently in your sleeping room;
And so, dear wife, good night.'
CHAPTER VIII.
THE MISTRESS OF BRIERWOOD COTTAGE.
"By night we lingered on the lawn,
For underfoot the herb was dry;
And genial warmth; and o'er the sky
The silvery haze of summer dawn;
"At night we hung out on the lawn,
For the grass beneath was dry;
And it was comfortably warm; and above us in the sky
The silvery mist of summer dawn;
"And calm that let the tapers burn
Unwavering: not a cricket chirr'd:
The brook alone far off was heard,
And on the board the fluttering urn."
Tennyson.
"And the calm allowed the candles to burn
Steadily: not a cricket chirped:
The brook was the only sound heard far off,
And on the table, the fluttering urn."
Tennyson.
"A penny for your thoughts, little Emmie," cried Garth gaily, a few evenings afterwards, when his abrupt entrance had broken up a somewhat silent group. The child, who was sitting at Langley's feet as usual, with her head in her lap, held up her hand warningly.
"A penny for your thoughts, little Emmie," Garth said cheerfully a few evenings later, as his sudden arrival disrupted a rather quiet group. The child, who was sitting at Langley's feet like always, with her head in his lap, raised her hand as a warning.
"Hush! I was counting them; now I have lost one."
"Hush! I was counting them; now I've lost one."
"Counting what, you small elf?"
"Counting what, you little elf?"
"The angels, of course; we have had ever so many passing through the room this evening. Just now Langley sighed and disturbed one. They never come when we talk and laugh, you know," continued Emmie, with a child's beautiful unreasoning faith in what would seem to older minds a piece of fond superstition. "I do love a real long silence, when people are all thinking together; the angels have such a good time of it then."
"The angels, of course; we've had so many coming in and out of the room this evening. Just now Langley sighed and interrupted one. They never show up when we talk and laugh, you know," Emmie continued, with a child's lovely, unthinking faith in what would seem to older minds like a sweet superstition. "I really enjoy a nice long silence when everyone is thinking together; the angels have such a great time then."
"What a queer little thinking machine that is," muttered Ted, drowsily; but Garth only patted her head kindly.
"What a weird little thinking machine that is," muttered Ted, drowsily; but Garth just patted her head kindly.
It was never his way to laugh at a child's fancies. "The real germ is hidden in the bud; a mere infant will sometimes turn our wisdom into foolishness," he had observed more than once in his graver moments. "Well, my white May-flower," he continued, using his pet name for her; "so the angels were having it all to themselves this evening, eh?"
It was never his style to mock a child's imagination. "The true essence is concealed in the beginning; sometimes a mere infant can turn our knowledge into nonsense," he had pointed out more than once during his more serious moments. "Well, my white May-flower," he continued, using his nickname for her; "so the angels were keeping it all to themselves this evening, huh?"
"I did not know we were assisting at a séance," growled Ted, stretching himself; "we have got a precious small medium, it strikes me. What sort of spirits were they, Emmie, black, white, or grey? I fancied my own familiar, in the shape of an elongated cat, with yellow sparks for eyes, grinned at me with feline and whiskered face from behind the sofa corner. 'Avaunt thee, witch,' I cried, and with diabolic stare and hiss it vanished."
"I didn't realize we were at a séance," Ted grumbled, stretching out. "It seems we have a pretty small medium. What kind of spirits were they, Emmie—black, white, or gray? I imagined my own familiar, in the form of a long cat with yellow sparks for eyes, grinning at me with its feline face from behind the sofa. 'Get lost, witch,' I shouted, and with a devilish glare and a hiss, it disappeared."
"A truce with your nonsense, Ted; you will scare the child."
"A break from your nonsense, Ted; you're going to scare the kid."
"I think we have all been very stupid and silent this evening," interposed Langley. "I fancy that we are all sorry to lose Queenie and Emmie from our circle to-morrow."
"I think we have all been pretty foolish and quiet tonight," Langley chimed in. "I believe we all feel bad about losing Queenie and Emmie from our group tomorrow."
"The sofa-cushion is drenched with my tears," continued Ted, the incorrigible. "The drip, drip of them was mistaken by Langley for rain. 'A wet evening,' quoth she; but my sobs prevented me from undeceiving her."
"The couch cushion is soaked with my tears," continued Ted, the unstoppable. "The drip, drip of them was mistaken by Langley for rain. 'It’s a wet evening,' she said; but my sobs kept me from correcting her."
"Isn't Mr. Ted wicked to tell so many stories in play?" interrupted Emmie, in a shocked tone.
"Isn't Mr. Ted awful for telling so many stories in the play?" Emmie interrupted, sounding shocked.
"Play!" reiterated that remorseless youth, "is that how you stigmatize an honest grief, and mistaken though blighted devotion? is it nothing to this lacerated heart to know that the beloved heads of the Marriott sisters will rest for the last time to-night beneath our roof? 'Quoth the raven, nevermore, rests sweet Marriott at thy door.'"
"Play!" repeated that relentless young person, "is that how you label genuine sorrow, and despite the troubled devotion? Does it mean nothing to this wounded heart to know that the cherished heads of the Marriott sisters will rest for the last time tonight under our roof? 'Quoth the raven, nevermore, rests sweet Marriott at your door.'"
"Oh, shut up, you young idiot," exclaimed his brother in a tone of deep disgust.
"Oh, shut up, you young fool," his brother exclaimed with deep disgust.
"He has been so tiresome all day," observed Cathy; "he has not left Queenie and me a moment in peace."
"He’s been so annoying all day," Cathy said; "he hasn’t given Queenie and me a minute to ourselves."
"Only a lock of hair, and that was refused; even a hair-pin would have been prized, or the frayed end of a ribbon; all, all denied.
"Just a lock of hair, and that was turned down; even a hairpin would have been cherished, or the tattered end of a ribbon; all, all denied."
'Oh stay, the Clayton said; and yield
A withered rose, or weed of field.
Indignant glared her bright brown eye,
And with a frown she made reply,
You botherer.'"
'Oh stay,' the Clayton said; 'and give
A withered rose, or a field weed.
Her bright brown eyes glared in anger,
And with a frown, she replied,
"You pest."'
Ted, in another moment—"
Ted, in another moment—
"You have the heart of a barbarian, Garth; the softer passion is unknown to you—the 'pills and paradise' of a man's existence. Look at me, like Etna half consumed, a mighty ruin—all thy work, oh woman! Ah, as the soothing bard, the glorious Will of immortal memory, once wrote—
"You have the heart of a savage, Garth; the gentler feelings are foreign to you—the 'comforts and joys' of a man's life. Look at me, like Etna reduced to ashes, a grand wreck—all your doing, oh woman! Ah, as the calming poet, the great Will of timeless memory, once wrote—
'He never told his love; no, never;
No more did she, but did you ever'—
'He never expressed his love; not once;
She never did either, but did you ever'—
She gave him one long glance, and then"—but Ted never finished his ridiculous effusion, for in another moment Garth had pinned him in his powerful grasp, and stretched him prone and struggling on the floor. "And there shall you lie until you have promised not to spout any more nonsense," was the inexorable mandate of his tyrant.
She gave him a long look, and then"—but Ted never finished his silly speech, because in another moment Garth had caught him in his strong grip and forced him down on the floor, struggling. "And you will stay there until you promise not to say any more nonsense," was the firm command from his ruler.
"Floored by fate, and crushed by the gigantic hoof of destiny, I submit. 'More kicks than half-pence,' quoth he, under the healing (heeling) process; but what boots such trifles to the stalwart heart of a young Briton. Alas, thy sole is open and clear to me, my brother, and the footprint of ignoble passion is stamped upon it."
"Overwhelmed by fate and crushed by the massive foot of destiny, I give in. 'More kicks than pennies,' he said during the healing process; but what do such small matters mean to the strong heart of a young Brit? Alas, your soul is wide open to me, my brother, and the mark of base desire is imprinted on it."
"Pax, pax," groaned Garth.
"Peace, peace," groaned Garth.
"Oh, leave him alone, you are only making him worse," laughed Queenie; "if he sees nobody heeds his nonsense he will soon leave off."
"Oh, just ignore him; you're only making it worse," laughed Queenie. "If he sees that no one pays attention to his nonsense, he'll stop soon enough."
"I feel like the gladiator, butchered to make a Clayton holiday; my breast-bone is staved in by the barbarian. 'Dying, we salute thee, Caesar.' Well, it is of 'no consequence,' as Toots remarks."
"I feel like a gladiator, sacrificed for a Clayton holiday; my ribcage is crushed by the barbarian. 'Dying, we salute you, Caesar.' Well, it doesn't really matter, as Toots says."
"There, get up and behave yourself," interrupted Garth, with a final kick; "and now, to get rid of this foolish fellow, I vote that some of us take a turn in the plane-tree walk. Come, Miss Marriott, you and Cathy put on your hats." But Cathy, who was in a curious mood to-night, and had done nothing but sigh and interlace her fingers restlessly in the twilight, muttered something about Miss Cosie and the Vicarage, and vanished from the room; and so it came to pass that Queenie found herself gravely pacing up and down the plane-tree walk by Garth's side.
"Alright, get up and behave yourself," Garth interrupted with a final kick. "Now, to get rid of this foolish guy, I suggest we take a stroll in the plane-tree walk. Come on, Miss Marriott, you and Cathy put on your hats." But Cathy, feeling a bit odd tonight and having done nothing but sigh and fidget with her fingers in the dim light, mumbled something about Miss Cosie and the Vicarage before disappearing from the room. So, Queenie found herself solemnly walking back and forth in the plane-tree walk beside Garth.
Naturally as it had come about—for no one else had volunteered to accompany them—the novelty of the circumstance caused them both a little embarrassment; and, by some curious physiological coincidence, each fell to thinking of Dora Cunningham. Garth smoked his cigar meditatively, and cast curious side-long glances at the slender black figure beside him. Visions of a white dress and golden hair still haunted him. Why was he shy and silent all at once? had he anything in common with this grave, brown-eyed girl? He was wondering, if she were Dora would he have found anything to say to her? He was sorry to think that this was Miss Marriott's last night. Sorry! yes; it made him feel all at once as though the old house had grown suddenly dull and empty; and yet if it had been Dora—
Naturally, since no one else had stepped up to join them, the unusual situation made them both a bit uncomfortable. By some strange coincidence, they both started thinking about Dora Cunningham. Garth smoked his cigar thoughtfully, stealing sideways glances at the slender black figure next to him. Images of a white dress and golden hair still lingered in his mind. Why did he suddenly feel shy and quiet? Did he have anything in common with this serious, brown-eyed girl? He was wondering, if she were Dora, would he have found something to say to her? He felt a pang realizing that it was Miss Marriott's last night. Sorry? Yes, it suddenly made the old house feel dull and empty; yet if it had been Dora—
"Miss Marriott, how is it that you and Miss Cunningham don't hit it off better?" he said, so abruptly that Queenie started and changed color. She was feeling very heavy-hearted, poor little soul, to think it was her last night at Church-Stile House; and how she would miss the slow, even tramp of Garth's footsteps under her windows, and the red end of his cigar emerging from the trees every ten minutes. She had often sat and watched it with unconscious interest even to herself; she was loath to part with that, and his cheery good morning when she looked out to smell the roses.
"Miss Marriott, why don't you and Miss Cunningham get along better?" he asked so suddenly that Queenie jumped and flushed. She felt really downhearted, poor girl, knowing it was her last night at Church-Stile House; and how much she would miss the steady, even sound of Garth's footsteps outside her windows, and the glowing tip of his cigar appearing from the trees every ten minutes. She had often sat and watched it with a quiet fascination, even surprising herself; she was reluctant to let go of that, along with his bright good morning when she peeked out to enjoy the roses.
She was just wondering how much he would miss her, and whether her absence would leave any perceptible gap in the family circle; and this question jarred upon her with sudden discord.
She was just thinking about how much he would miss her and whether her absence would create any noticeable gap in the family. This question suddenly troubled her.
"What do you mean?" she asked faintly, conscious all at once of a certain chilliness round the region of the heart. She had hoped for a few words of friendly interest and advice on her own affairs to-night. Had he only brought her out there to talk of Dora Cunningham?
"What do you mean?" she asked softly, suddenly aware of a slight chill around her heart. She had hoped for a few words of friendly interest and advice about her own situation tonight. Did he really bring her out here just to talk about Dora Cunningham?
"Why don't you two girls get on better together?" pursued Garth, inexorably. He was quite aware of the reluctance of Queenie's tone as she answered him, but the opportunity was a good one, and he thought he would have it out with her. She was indebted to him for much kindness, he told himself; his sisters and he had taken her by the hand, and found her occupation, and a roof to cover her head; he had a right to ask, as a return, that she should show a little consideration for him and his friends; and her manner to Dora somehow galled him. Perhaps he was a little curious on the subject as well; anyway, he would have his answer.
"Why don’t you two girls get along better?" Garth pressed on, determined. He could tell from Queenie's tone that she was hesitant as she replied, but this was a good opportunity, and he thought it was time to confront her. He reminded himself that she owed him a lot of kindness; he and his sisters had reached out to her, helped her find a job, and provided her with a place to stay. He felt entitled to ask, in return, that she show some consideration for him and his friends; her behavior towards Dora was starting to irritate him. Maybe he was also a bit curious about it; either way, he was going to get his answer.
"How do you know that we do not?" she replied, fencing in her turn. "I have not seen Miss Cunningham more than three or four times; we are comparative strangers to each other."
"How do you know that we don’t?" she replied, countering in her turn. "I haven't seen Miss Cunningham more than three or four times; we're pretty much strangers to each other."
"You know her as well as you know Mrs. Fawcett or Miss Faith Palmer; they are all comparative strangers to you, but to them your manner is always so bright and genial."
"You know her just as well as you know Mrs. Fawcett or Miss Faith Palmer; they are all pretty much strangers to you, but to them, your attitude is always so cheerful and friendly."
"Ah; one cannot help getting on with them."
"Ah, you can't help but get along with them."
"I should have said the same of Miss Cunningham. There, you shake your head; how impossible it is to understand you women. Miss Dora seems so willing to be friendly on her side. She has driven over twice to see you, and tender her advice and help; but one cannot help seeing how these overtures have been repelled."
"I should have said the same about Miss Cunningham. There, you shake your head; it's so hard to understand you women. Miss Dora seems really eager to be friendly. She has come over twice to see you and offer her advice and help, but it's clear that these gestures have been turned away."
"Mr. Clayton, pray don't speak as though you were hurt with me."
"Mr. Clayton, please don't talk as if you're upset with me."
"I do feel a little hurt about this," he replied, gravely; "at least it disappoints me. You see Dora, I mean Miss Cunningham, has been intimate with us ever since we were children together, and we think so much of her opinion in things. When you came among us, and decided on taking up this new work, I thought at once what a valuable friend you would secure in her."
"I do feel a bit hurt about this," he replied seriously; "at least it disappoints me. You see, Dora, I mean Miss Cunningham, has been close to us ever since we were kids, and we really value her opinion on things. When you joined us and decided to take on this new work, I immediately thought what a great friend you would have in her."
"You were very kind," stammered poor Queenie with downcast eyes.
"You were really nice," stammered poor Queenie, looking down.
"Confess that my kindness was thrown away though," he continued in a lighter tone, for her distress was not lost on him. "You are such an iceberg in her presence that even her good nature has failed to thaw you. You are never proud with Langley or Cathy, and yet Cathy can say rude things sometimes."
"Admit that I wasted my kindness, though," he continued with a lighter tone, as he noticed her distress. "You act so cold around her that even her good nature can't warm you up. You're never proud with Langley or Cathy, and yet Cathy can sometimes say rude things."
"I am never proud with those I love."
"I’m never proud around the people I love."
"Then you don't mean to love Miss Cunningham."
"Then you don't actually plan to love Miss Cunningham."
"No," reluctantly; "but I do not dislike her. There is simply no sympathy between us, and her manner jars and irritates me somehow. It seems as though, she were trying to keep me down in my place, and make me remember that I am only the poor school-mistress in Hepshaw, when, when you all try to make me forget it," continued the girl, and now the tears rushed to her eyes. Garth had never seen her so moved, but her frankness did not displease him. It might be his duty to give her a little wholesome advice, and to bid her curb that troublesome pride of hers; but, on the whole, he felt sorry for her.
"No," she said reluctantly, "but I don’t dislike her. There’s just no connection between us, and her attitude bothers and annoys me for some reason. It feels like she’s trying to keep me in my place and remind me that I’m just the poor schoolmistress in Hepshaw, while you all try to help me forget about it," the girl continued, and tears filled her eyes. Garth had never seen her so emotional, but he didn’t mind her honesty. It might be his duty to give her some good advice and tell her to tone down that annoying pride of hers; but overall, he felt sorry for her.
"I think we ought to be very patient with a person that displeases us, and ask ourselves whether the fault may not lie on our side," continued her young Mentor gravely. He rather liked the right he had assumed of lecturing this girl; the occupation was piquant and interesting, and then she took his rebukes so meekly. "Miss Cunningham is a very superior person, you cannot fail to own that, I am sure; so many people rely upon her. She is the mainstay at home; her father's right hand in every thing; and then her sisters idolize her. She must be truly lovable, or they would not be so fond of her."
"I think we should be really patient with someone who annoys us and ask ourselves if the issue might be on our end," her young Mentor continued seriously. He actually enjoyed the position he had taken in lecturing this girl; it was stimulating and engaging, and she accepted his reprimands so humbly. "Miss Cunningham is an extraordinary person, you can't deny that, I'm sure; so many people depend on her. She’s the backbone at home, her father's right hand in everything, and her sisters adore her. She must be truly lovable, or they wouldn't be so attached to her."
"Mr. Clayton, what does it matter whether we get on together or not?" exclaimed Queenie at this point, stung by all this praise, and sore almost to unhappiness. "It cannot matter to her, or to you either, whether I like her or not."
"Mr. Clayton, why does it matter if we get along or not?" Queenie exclaimed at this moment, hurt by all the praise and almost unhappy. "It can't matter to her, or to you, whether I like her or not."
"It matters a good deal to me whether my friends are appreciated. I am disappointed about it, because I wanted to secure you a valuable ally, that is all; but I suppose it cannot be helped. Women are unaccountable beings; it is best, after all, to leave them alone," and Garth's voice was so full of kindness and regret that Queenie's soreness vanished in a sudden effort of magnanimity.
"It really matters to me whether my friends are valued. I’m disappointed about it because I wanted to secure you a valuable ally, that’s all; but I guess it can’t be helped. Women are unpredictable; it’s probably best to just leave them be," and Garth's voice was so full of kindness and regret that Queenie’s irritation disappeared in a sudden act of generosity.
"I dare say it was my fault; I am sure Miss Cunningham meant to be kind," she faltered out hurriedly. "Only when one is poor, one is proud and sensitive over little things. Don't say anything more about it, Mr. Clayton; I mean to like her. I will like her, and you shall not have reason to complain of my disagreeable manner again."
"I have to admit it was my fault; I’m sure Miss Cunningham meant well," she quickly said, hesitating. "But when you’re poor, you tend to be proud and sensitive about small things. Don't say anything more about it, Mr. Clayton; I intend to like her. I will like her, and you won’t have any reason to complain about my unpleasant behavior again."
"No; not disagreeable, only cold," he returned, with a smile of genuine content, for this admission pleased him well. They had stopped simultaneously at the little gate, and Queenie made a movement as though to go in, but he would not suffer it. "No; you shall not leave me in this way, we will have another turn," he said cheerfully. "Let us talk of something else—of yourself and your plans. Do you know, I feel quite dull at the thought of losing you and Emmie to-morrow. I wonder how much you intend to miss us."
"No, not unpleasant, just cold," he replied, smiling genuinely, as this admission made him happy. They had both stopped at the little gate, and Queenie started to move as if to go inside, but he wouldn’t let her. "No, you’re not leaving me like this; we’ll take another walk," he said cheerfully. "Let’s talk about something else—about you and your plans. You know, I’m feeling a bit down at the thought of losing you and Emmie tomorrow. I wonder how much you’ll miss us."
"More than I ever missed any one in my whole life before," was the answer on Queenie's lips, but she prudently forbore to utter it, as she moved again by his side in the darkness. Did no warning monitor within her whisper that this man was growing dangerously dear to her; that the snare was already spread for her unconscious feet?
"More than I've ever missed anyone in my whole life before," was the answer on Queenie's lips, but she wisely decided not to say it as she moved beside him in the darkness. Did no warning voice inside her tell her that this man was becoming dangerously important to her; that the trap was already set for her unsuspecting feet?
"He means to marry Dora; but I have a right to claim him still as my friend. No one shall steal his friendship from me. I will have what belongs to me," she had said to herself, almost fiercely; but the falseness of the sophistry was glossed over and hidden from her eyes. For the last few days a great sadness had crept over her. Since the evening Dora had passed through the little gate, and had walked with him up and down in the sunset, some visionary hope, baseless and unsubstantial as a dream, had vanished from her heart.
"He plans to marry Dora, but I still have the right to call him my friend. No one is going to take his friendship away from me. I will hold on to what is mine," she told herself fiercely; yet the false reasoning was wrapped up and obscured from her view. For the past few days, a deep sadness had settled over her. Since the evening Dora had walked through the little gate and strolled with him in the sunset, some fanciful hope, as flimsy and insubstantial as a dream, had disappeared from her heart.
Of what avail was her idle whim now? Would it not have been better, so she told herself, to have shaken off the dust of Hepshaw from her feet? Whose blame was it if she had tangled her own life? Some impulse, some undefinable influence, had drawn her to weave these strange plans of hers; more than a girl's fancy and love of mystery and adventure were wrapped up in them. But might it not be that bitter failure and remorse should be her portion hereafter?
Of what use was her pointless desire now? Wouldn't it have been better, she wondered, to have left Hepshaw behind? Who was to blame if she had complicated her own life? Some urge, some vague influence, had led her to create these odd plans; they involved more than just a girl's whims and fascination with mystery and adventure. But could it be that bitter failure and regret awaited her in the future?
Would there not have been greater peace and safety for her in that house in Carlisle? Queenie asked herself these questions with a sigh long after she had left Garth, and retired to her own room, where Emmie was slumbering peacefully. She kissed the child, and placed herself under the shadow of the window-curtain, and watched, for the last time, the tiny red spark emerging every now and then from under the trees.
Wouldn't she have felt safer and more at peace in that house in Carlisle? Queenie pondered these questions with a sigh long after she had left Garth and gone to her own room, where Emmie was sleeping soundly. She kissed the child, settled in the shadow of the window curtain, and watched for the last time the tiny red spark that occasionally appeared from beneath the trees.
"Miss him! he little knows how I shall miss him!" she said to herself, bitterly. "Right or wrong, he has got into my life, and I cannot get him out. Does he love Dora, I wonder? I cannot make up my mind; but he will marry her, for all that; and then, then, if I find it very hard to bear, if she will not let me keep him as a friend, we will go away, Emmie and I, somewhere a long way off, where I can have plenty of work, and forget, and begin afresh."
"Miss him! He has no clue how much I'll miss him!" she thought bitterly. "Right or wrong, he's become a part of my life, and I can't get rid of him. I wonder if he loves Dora? I can't decide, but he will marry her, no doubt about it. And then, if I find it too hard to handle, if she won't let me keep him as a friend, Emmie and I will leave, somewhere far away, where I can have lots of work, forget, and start over."
But when Queenie came to this point she suddenly broke down; an oppressive sense of loneliness, as new as it was terrible, crushed on her with overwhelming force. For the first time Queenie's brave spirit seemed utterly broken, and some of the bitterest tears she ever shed wetted the child's pillow.
But when Queenie reached this point, she suddenly fell apart; an intense feeling of loneliness, as fresh as it was devastating, overwhelmed her. For the first time, Queenie's courageous spirit felt completely defeated, and some of the most painful tears she ever cried soaked the child's pillow.
As for Garth, he strolled on for a long time, placidly enjoying his cigar. He had delivered his little lecture, and had then sent the girl in soothed and comforted; so he told himself. It is true a sad and wistful glance from two large dark eyes somewhat haunted him at intervals, but he drove it persistently away.
As for Garth, he walked on for a long time, calmly enjoying his cigar. He had given his little talk and then sent the girl inside feeling soothed and comforted; at least that's what he told himself. It's true that a sad and longing look from her large dark eyes occasionally haunted him, but he kept pushing it away.
"She is a sweet girl, a very sweet girl; but she has her faults, like all of us," he said to himself. "I am glad I put her right about Dora. If Dora ever comes here, it would not do for Miss Marriott not to be friendly with her. Dora would have a right to expect then that the others should give way to her, if she ever comes here as my wife;" and here the young man's pulses quickened a little, and in the darkness the hot blood rushed to his face. "Dora my wife! how strange it sounds! Well, I suppose it will come to that some day; things seem shaping themselves that way. She will expect it, and her father too, after what has passed. I fancy there is a kind of understanding between us. I wonder what sort of feeling she has for me? She keeps a fellow at such a distance, there is no finding out; but I'll master her yet. She will soon find out, if I once make up my mind, that I am not one to bear any shilly-shallying. I don't think I could stand nonsense from any woman, not even from Dora. Her father told me once that if he died Dora would not have a penny, though the other girls have tidy little sums, each of them. I like her all the better for that. Well, after all there is no hurry. Being in love is all very well, but it is better to take life easily, and digest matters a little;" and with a conscious laugh that sounded oddly to him in the darkness, Garth swung back the little gate, and walked towards the house.
"She’s a sweet girl, a really sweet girl; but she has her faults, just like the rest of us," he said to himself. "I’m glad I cleared things up for her about Dora. If Dora ever comes here, it wouldn’t be good for Miss Marriott not to be friendly with her. Dora would expect the others to make way for her if she ever shows up here as my wife;" and at that thought, the young man's heart raced a bit, and in the darkness, he felt his face flush with warmth. "Dora my wife! How strange that sounds! Well, I suppose that’ll happen someday; things seem to be moving in that direction. She’ll expect it, and so will her father, after everything that’s happened. I feel like there’s a sort of understanding between us. I wonder what kind of feelings she has for me? She keeps a guy at such a distance that it’s hard to tell; but I’ll figure her out eventually. She’ll soon learn, once I make up my mind, that I’m not one to tolerate any uncertainty. I don’t think I could put up with nonsense from any woman, not even from Dora. Her father once told me that if he died, Dora wouldn’t get a penny, while the other girls have nice little sums saved up. I actually like her more for that. Well, there’s no rush after all. Being in love is great and all, but it’s better to take life easy and think things through a bit;" and with a self-aware laugh that sounded strange to him in the darkness, Garth swung open the little gate and walked toward the house.
It was arranged that the sisters' modest luggage should be sent over to the cottage in the course of the morning, and that Queenie should take possession of her new abode as soon as her afternoon duties were discharged, and that Cathy and Emmie should be there to receive her.
It was arranged that the sisters' simple luggage would be sent to the cottage in the morning, and that Queenie would move into her new home as soon as her afternoon tasks were done, with Cathy and Emmie there to welcome her.
"I am to pour out tea my own self, and Cathy has promised to make some of her delicious cakes," exclaimed Emmie, rapturously. "Langley will not come, though I have begged her over and over again; she says we three will be so much cosier together."
"I'll pour the tea myself, and Cathy promised to make some of her delicious cakes," Emmie exclaimed excitedly. "Langley won’t come, even though I’ve asked her repeatedly; she says it’ll be much cozier for the three of us."
Queenie nodded and smiled as she bade her little sister good-bye, and trudged down the lane. The sun was shining brightly; a rose-laden wind blew freshly in her face; with the morning light courage and hope had returned; she felt half ashamed of her last night's sadness. Queenie was young, and life was strong within her. In youth happiness is a necessity, a second nature. When the heart is young it rebels fiercely against sorrow. To exist is to hope; to hope is to believe.
Queenie nodded and smiled as she said goodbye to her little sister, then walked down the path. The sun was shining bright; a fresh, flower-scented breeze blew against her face. With the morning light, courage and hope returned; she felt a little embarrassed about the sadness she had last night. Queenie was young, and life was vibrant within her. In youth, happiness is essential, almost instinctive. When the heart is young, it fights back strongly against sorrow. To live is to hope; to hope is to believe.
In youth we believe in miracles; utterly impossible combinations would not surprise us; the sun must stand still in our firmament, the stars in their course fight against Sisera; what has happened to others cannot happen to us.
In our youth, we believe in miracles; completely impossible events don’t shock us; the sun must stay still in our sky, the stars in their path fight against Sisera; what has happened to others can’t happen to us.
It is only bitter experience that tears down this fairy glamor, the thin, gossamer film through which we so long looked. How barren and loveless life appears then! Our fairest hopes are shipwrecked; a moral earthquake has shattered our little world. We look up at the heavens, and they are as brass, and the earth under our feet as wrought iron; while beyond, and in the dim horizon, hollow voices seem to whisper a perpetual dirge.
It’s only through painful experience that this fairy tale illusion falls apart, the fragile veil we’ve been looking through for so long. Life seems so empty and unloving then! Our highest hopes are destroyed; a moral disaster has broken our small world. We look up at the sky, and it’s like solid metal, and the ground beneath us feels like cast iron; meanwhile, out there on the faint horizon, eerie voices seem to echo an endless lament.
It is a terrible subject, this awful mystery of pain, this dim and inscrutable decree, that man is born to trouble. Ah, well for those who, like that tired wanderer in that far-off land, can discern in their darkness and loneliness the ladder that reaches from earth to heaven, and feel the fanning of invisible wings even in their heaviest stupor.
It’s a terrible topic, this awful mystery of pain, this unclear and puzzling fact that people are destined for trouble. Ah, how fortunate are those who, like that weary traveler in that distant land, can see in their darkness and loneliness the ladder that stretches from earth to heaven, and sense the gentle touch of invisible wings even in their deepest fatigue.
Queenie's healthy young nature recoiled and shuddered at the first touch of probable pain; it lay folded like a troublesome nightmare far back among her thoughts. It had mastered her last night in the darkness; this morning the sunshine had chased it away.
Queenie's vibrant, youthful spirit flinched and cringed at the first hint of possible pain; it was buried deep in her mind like a bothersome nightmare. It had taken control of her last night in the dark; this morning, the sunlight had driven it away.
"How do I know? how does any one know?" she said to herself, somewhat ambiguously, as she sat among her children that morning. "I may be wrong; it may never happen; and if it does, what is, is best, I suppose," and here she sighed. "I am thinking of him, of them both, too much. After all, what is he to me? a dear friend, a very dear friend; but my friendship must not cost me too much. I will be good and reasonable, and not ask more than a fair amount of happiness; it is only children who cry for the moon."
"How do I know? How does anyone know?" she questioned quietly to herself as she sat with her kids that morning. "I might be wrong; it might never happen; and if it does, what is, is probably for the best," she sighed. "I’m thinking about him, about both of them, too much. After all, what is he to me? A close friend, a very close friend; but my friendship shouldn’t cost me too much. I will be good and sensible, and not ask for more than a reasonable amount of happiness; it's only kids who cry for the moon."
If you want to be happy, be good; it is a very safe maxim. Queenie felt quite bright as she walked through the little town. True, she had a slight qualm as she passed the turning that led to Church-Stile House; but she bravely stifled the feeling, and hummed an air as she opened her own little gate.
If you want to be happy, just be good; it's a solid rule to follow. Queenie felt pretty cheerful as she strolled through the small town. Sure, she felt a bit uneasy as she walked by the turn that led to Church-Stile House, but she pushed the feeling aside and hummed a tune as she opened her own little gate.
How fresh and bright it all looked. The walk was new gravelled, the little lawn looked trim and green; roses and geraniums bloomed under the windows; a honeysuckle was nicely trained round the porch. Emmie met her on the threshold, and dragged her in with both hands.
How fresh and bright everything looked. The path was newly gravelled, the small lawn was neatly trimmed and green; roses and geraniums were blooming under the windows; a honeysuckle was beautifully trained around the porch. Emmie met her at the door and pulled her inside with both hands.
"Oh, Queen, it is all so lovely; just like a bit out of a story-book. To think of you and me living alone together in our own little cottage; only you and me!"
"Oh, Queen, it’s all so beautiful; just like something out of a storybook. To think of you and me living alone together in our own little cottage; just you and me!"
"I am so glad you are happy, darling, because that makes me happy," returned her sister, affectionately. "Ah, there is our little maid Patience," as the girl stood curtseying and smoothing down her clean apron, with a pleased, excited face. "Cathy—oh, Mr. Clayton, are you here too?" as Garth's dark handsome face suddenly beamed on her from the little parlor.
"I’m so glad you’re happy, darling, because that makes me happy," her sister replied warmly. "Ah, there’s our little maid Patience," she said, noticing the girl curtsying and smoothing her clean apron, her face full of happiness and excitement. "Cathy—oh, Mr. Clayton, are you here too?" as Garth’s dark, handsome face suddenly lit up in the small parlor.
"I could not resist the pleasure of showing you the transformation," he returned, gaily. "You hardly know the place, do you? Langley and Cathy have done wonders. It is a pretty little home after all, and quite big enough for you two, and I hope you will be as happy as the day is long."
"I couldn't help but share the excitement of showing you the transformation," he replied cheerfully. "You barely recognize the place, right? Langley and Cathy have done an amazing job. It’s a lovely little home after all, and just big enough for the two of you, and I really hope you’ll be as happy as can be."
"Oh, what have you all done!" exclaimed Queenie, in a stifled voice. Her heart began to beat more quickly, an odd, choking feeling was in her throat. Was this their thought for her? She could not for her life have spoken another word as she followed Garth and Cathy into the parlor.
"Oh, what have you all done!" Queenie exclaimed in a choked voice. Her heart started to race, and she felt a strange, constricting sensation in her throat. Was this how they really felt about her? She couldn't bring herself to say another word as she followed Garth and Cathy into the living room.
"We have only put a table and some chairs into the front room; it will be handy for Emmie to learn her lessons and play there. Langley knew we must not put you to any unnecessary expense," went on Garth, cheerfully. "This is very snug, is it not?"
"We've just put a table and some chairs in the front room; it’ll be a great spot for Emmie to study and play. Langley understood we shouldn't make you spend more than needed," Garth continued, cheerfully. "It's pretty cozy, isn't it?"
Snug! Queenie looked round her half dazed. Had she ever seen this room before? Though it was summer, a little fire burnt in the grate. There was a crimson carpet; a grey rug was spread invitingly; a couch stood by the open window. There was a bird-cage, and a stand of flowers. A pretty print hung over the mantel-piece. Some book-shelves with some tempting-looking volumes had been fitted up over the corner cupboard. A gay little pink and white tea-service was on the round table. Some low basket-work chairs gave an air of comfort.
Snug! Queenie looked around, feeling a bit dazed. Had she ever seen this room before? Even though it was summer, a small fire burned in the fireplace. There was a crimson carpet, and a grey rug was spread invitingly. A couch sat by the open window. A birdcage and a stand of flowers added to the charm. A pretty print hung over the mantelpiece. Some bookshelves held tempting-looking volumes fitted above the corner cupboard. A cheerful pink and white tea set was on the round table. Low wicker chairs provided a cozy vibe.
Outside the transformation was still more marked. Instead of the green wilderness, all docks and nettles, there was a long green lawn. A broad gravel path bordered the window; a few flower-beds had been cut in the turf.
Outside, the transformation was even more noticeable. Instead of the wild green landscape filled with docks and nettles, there was now a long, lush lawn. A wide gravel path lined the window, and several flower beds had been created in the grass.
"It is too late to do much this season; we shall have it very pretty next summer," observed Garth, in a cool, matter-of-fact tone, as he followed her to the window. "We have cut away a good deal of the turf, as it made the house so damp; the gravel path is far better. Cathy wants you to have a rockery and some ferns in one corner."
"It’s too late to do much this season; we’ll make it really nice next summer," Garth said in a relaxed, straightforward way as he followed her to the window. "We’ve removed a lot of the grass since it made the house so damp; the gravel path is way better. Cathy wants you to have a rock garden and some ferns in one corner."
"It will look very nice," returned Queenie, absently.
"It'll look really nice," replied Queenie, absentmindedly.
She had a misty vision after that of a bright little kitchen that reminded her of a doll-house that she had had as a child, and then of two bed-rooms, one for herself, and one for Emmie, with a small room for Patience, all as fresh as white dimity could make them. There were flowers on the toilet-table; the little painted chest of drawers had a sweet perfume of lavender. Everything was simple and well chosen, and testified to thoughtful and loving hands.
She then had a hazy image of a cheerful little kitchen that reminded her of a dollhouse she had as a kid, followed by two bedrooms—one for herself and one for Emmie—with a small room for Patience, all as fresh as crisp white fabric could make them. There were flowers on the vanity; the little painted dresser had a lovely scent of lavender. Everything was simple and carefully selected, showing the care and affection of loving hands.
"Oh, Cathy, what am I to say to him? what am I to say to you all?" exclaimed poor Queenie, feeling ready to throw her arms round her friend's neck and burst into tears. They were standing in the little entry, and Garth was watching them.
"Oh, Cathy, what am I supposed to say to him? What am I supposed to say to all of you?" exclaimed poor Queenie, feeling like she might throw her arms around her friend's neck and burst into tears. They were standing in the small entryway, and Garth was watching them.
"Aren't you going to give me tea after all this?" he interposed, in a droll voice. "Here I have been gardening and carpentering and acting as odd man to the establishment for I do not know how long."
"Aren't you going to give me tea after all this?" he cut in, in a funny voice. "I've been gardening and doing carpentry and helping out around here for I don't know how long."
"Tea! oh, I forgot," returned Queenie, dashing the tears from her eyes, and hurrying to her place.
"Tea! Oh, I forgot," Queenie replied, wiping the tears from her eyes and rushing back to her spot.
Garth stood near her a moment as he brought her one of the basket chairs.
Garth stood next to her for a moment as he brought her one of the basket chairs.
"Does our work satisfy you? have we given you pleasure?" he asked, looking into her downcast face rather anxiously. "Do you think you will be happy here, you and Emmie, in your own little home?"
"Are you happy with our work? Did we bring you joy?" he asked, looking into her downcast face with concern. "Do you think you and Emmie will be happy here in your own little home?"
"It will be my own fault if I am not," she faltered, holding out her hand; and such a look of pure childish gratitude lit her dark eyes that the young man reddened and turned aside. "Oh, Mr. Clayton, what can I do to repay you and Langley?"
"It'll be my fault if I'm not," she hesitated, reaching out her hand; and such a look of pure, childlike gratitude sparkled in her dark eyes that the young man blushed and looked away. "Oh, Mr. Clayton, what can I do to thank you and Langley?"
"Hush," he replied, lightly, and trying to turn it off with a laugh; "there is no talk of payment between friends; it is all understood between us. You are only in our debt a little while; besides, you are a rich woman now."
"Hush," he said lightly, trying to brush it off with a laugh; "there's no talk of payment between friends; we both get it. You only owe us for a little while; plus, you’re a wealthy woman now."
"Oh, I forgot," she exclaimed in such a tone of dismay that the others looked quite startled. "I mean—ah, yes, it will all be right soon," endeavouring to recover herself.
"Oh, I forgot," she said, her voice filled with dismay, causing the others to look surprised. "I mean—oh, yes, things will be fine soon," she tried to compose herself.
It was a cosy little meal after all. Garth, who saw that Queenie's fluctuating spirits needed tranquillizing, set himself to reassure and soothe her; and when he had succeeded, the three had one of their long thoughtful talks. By-and-bye Langley came, and then Ted, and filled the little room to overflowing, so that they betook themselves to the porch and the lawn.
It was a cozy little meal after all. Garth, who noticed that Queenie's changing moods needed calming, made it his mission to reassure and soothe her; and when he succeeded, the three of them had one of their long, deep conversations. Eventually, Langley arrived, followed by Ted, and they filled the little room to the brim, so they moved to the porch and the lawn.
It was quite late when they separated, and Queenie went up to her new little room. The glimmering lights in the village had been extinguished. The roads looked white and still in the moonlight; only a faint barking from a dog in the distance broke the stillness.
It was pretty late when they parted ways, and Queenie headed up to her new little room. The twinkling lights in the village had gone out. The roads looked white and calm in the moonlight; only a distant dog barking broke the silence.
"How wrong and wicked I was last night!" thought the girl humbly, as she stood by the table, touching Langley's roses with caressing fingers. "I was lonely and sad; I wanted I cannot tell what. But to-night it is so different; it is so sweet to feel he has done all this for me; that it is his thought for me as well as theirs; that, whatever happens, he will be my friend, always my friend."
"How wrong and awful I was last night!" thought the girl humbly as she stood by the table, gently touching Langley's roses. "I was feeling lonely and sad; I wanted things I can’t even describe. But tonight is so different; it feels so nice to know he did all this for me; that he's thinking of me just like they are; that, no matter what happens, he will always be my friend, my friend forever."
CHAPTER IX.
FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM.
"She prayed me not to judge their cause from her,
That wrong'd it, sought far less for truth than power
In knowledge; something wild within her breast,
A greater than all knowledge, beat her down."
Tennyson's 'Princess.'
"She begged me not to judge their cause based on her,
Because that would be unfair; she pursued less truth than power
In knowledge; something untamed inside her,
Something greater than all knowledge, overwhelmed her."
Tennyson's 'Princess.'
The days passed very tranquilly and pleasantly after this for the inhabitants of the cottage.
The days went by peacefully and happily for the people living in the cottage.
Queenie had regained her brightness in a great measure. In spite of a certain dim fear that haunted the background of her memory, her life seemed full of a strange, sweet excitement. The buoyancy of youth was strong within her; the knowledge of her secret wealth gave an intoxicating flavor to everything. As she walked to and fro to her daily work, she felt like a disguised princess, like the heroine of some fairy story she had read once, spinning in her woollen garments among the simple peasant folk. "I like being a rich woman after all," she said to herself, "it is so amusing. I feel just like Cinderella before the pumpkin coach arrives; it is a story-book sort of life I am leading. Fancy teaching in a village school when one has five thousand a-year. What shall I do with it all, I wonder; I wish I might give some to Langley and Cathy."
Queenie had mostly regained her spark. Despite a lingering, vague fear that crept into her thoughts, her life felt filled with a strange, sweet excitement. The energy of youth was strong in her; the knowledge of her hidden wealth added an exhilarating twist to everything. As she walked back and forth to her daily job, she felt like a disguised princess, like the heroine of some fairy tale she had once read, spinning in her woolen clothes among the simple village folk. "I actually enjoy being a wealthy woman," she said to herself, "it's so entertaining. I feel just like Cinderella before the pumpkin carriage arrives; it's a storybook kind of life I'm living. Just think about teaching in a village school when you have five thousand a year. I wonder what I should do with it all; I wish I could give some to Langley and Cathy."
Queenie used to build all sorts of impossible castles in the air when she was by herself or with Emmie.
Queenie would create all kinds of impossible dreams when she was alone or with Emmie.
"What would you say if we were to be rich one day, very, very rich?" she would ask sometimes; but Emmie only shook her fair head.
"What would you say if we became really, really rich one day?" she would ask sometimes; but Emmie just shook her head.
"Rich, so that we should be obliged to leave this dear cottage! Oh no, Queen, I should not like it at all. I think it is so lovely, we two living all alone together. I never, never, never was so happy in all my life before," finishing with a prolonged hug.
"Rich, so that we would have to leave this beloved cottage! Oh no, Queen, I wouldn’t like that at all. I think it’s so beautiful, just the two of us living here together. I’ve never, ever, ever been this happy in my whole life," finishing with a long hug.
"Thank God for that," murmured her sister, fervently, passing her hands gently over the child's upturned face.
“Thank God for that,” her sister murmured, with feeling, as she lightly ran her hands over the child's upturned face.
The sharp outlines were filling out and rounding daily; a soft bloom tinged the thin cheeks; but there was still the same solemn, unchildlike look in the large blue eyes. Their expression used to trouble Queenie sometimes. "Would the shadow of past woe never die out of them?"
The sharp features were becoming softer and rounder each day; a gentle blush colored the thin cheeks; but the large blue eyes still held the same serious, unchildlike expression. Queenie found their look troubling at times. "Would the shadow of past sorrow ever fade from them?"
"Emmie, your eyes never smile," she said once, "and yet you say you are so happy, darling."
"Emmie, your eyes never smile," she once said, "and yet you say you’re so happy, darling."
They were sitting alone in the porch; Cathy had just left them, Garth had fetched her away. Emmie was in her favorite position, with her head resting on her crossed arms on her sister's lap. They had sat for a long time so without speaking, only Queenie's fingers every now and then twined in the child's golden hair. "Why don't you teach your eyes to smile too?" she went on, half seriously.
They were sitting alone on the porch; Cathy had just left them, and Garth had taken her away. Emmie was in her favorite position, with her head resting on her crossed arms on her sister's lap. They had been sitting there silently for a long time, with only Queenie's fingers occasionally twisting in the child's golden hair. "Why don't you teach your eyes to smile too?" she said, half-joking.
Emmie wrinkled her brows thoughtfully. "I wish they would look like yours, Queen; but then I never saw any eyes like yours, even Cathy says so. When you laugh they seem full of brown sunshine, only so deep, deep down; and when a great thought comes to you, one seems to see it, somehow."
Emmie frowned in deep thought. "I wish they looked like yours, Queen; but I've never seen eyes like yours, even Cathy says that. When you laugh, they seem filled with warm brown light, but so deep, deep inside; and when a brilliant idea hits you, it feels like you can see it somehow."
"Oh, hush, you little flatterer;" but Queenie blushed, well pleased, over the praise.
"Oh, come on, you little charmer;" but Queenie blushed, happy and flattered by the compliment.
"You do not know half how beautiful I think you," continued the child, earnestly; "it makes me feel happy and good only to be near you. Do sisters always feel like that, I wonder?"
"You don't know how beautiful I think you are," the child said earnestly. "It makes me feel happy and good just to be near you. Do sisters always feel that way, I wonder?"
"No, darling, not always."
"No, sweetie, not always."
"It must be because we love each other so. There never was a time when your voice was not like music to me. Sometimes I love you so that I ache all over with it; that was in the dreadful old days, when I thought I must die and leave you. Oh, Queen, that would have been so very, very miserable."
"It must be because we love each other so much. There has never been a time when your voice didn't sound like music to me. Sometimes I love you so much that it makes me ache all over; that was during those terrible old days when I thought I might die and leave you. Oh, Queen, that would have been so very, very miserable."
"Miserable to lose you, Emmie! don't speak of it; I can't bear to think of it even now," pressing the child's slight figure closer in her arms.
"Miserable to lose you, Emmie! Don't talk about it; I can't even stand to think about it right now," she said, pulling the child's small body closer in her arms.
"It would not be so dreadful now; I should not feel that you were quite so lonely, I mean. No, I will not talk any more about it," catching sight of Queenie's averted face; "we will never be sad, you and I, never."
"It wouldn’t be so terrible now; I wouldn’t feel like you were so alone, you know. No, I won’t talk about it anymore," noticing Queenie's turned away face; "we will never be sad, you and I, never."
"I wonder if we shall always live alone," she went on, while Queenie dried her eyes. "Perhaps one day you will marry—people do, you know. How strange that will be!"
"I wonder if we’ll always live alone," she continued, while Queenie dried her eyes. "Maybe one day you’ll get married—people do, you know. How strange that would be!"
"Should you dislike that idea very much, Emmie?"
"Do you really dislike that idea, Emmie?"
"I—I don't know," in a reluctant tone. "It will spoil things rather; but if you like it, Queen——"
"I—I don't know," she said hesitantly. "It'll probably ruin things, but if you really want to, Queen——"
"Hush," kissing her, "I think we are talking dreadful nonsense. Don't you know that I have told you that we are leading a story-book life, Emmie; first in that dreadful old garret, and now in our pretty cottage? By-and-bye it may turn into a palace; who knows?"
"Hush," kissing her, "I think we're talking absolute nonsense. Don't you realize I've told you we’re living a fairytale life, Emmie; first in that awful old attic, and now in our charming cottage? Eventually, it might even become a palace; who knows?"
"Ah, then the prince will come; he always does in fairy stories."
"Ah, then the prince will show up; he always does in fairy tales."
"No; he will ride away with the golden-haired princess; they will disappear into the forest together, and never come back. We will have Caleb and Molly to live with us instead."
"No; he will ride off with the golden-haired princess; they will vanish into the forest together and never return. We will have Caleb and Molly living with us instead."
"Ah, that would be nice," returned the child, clapping her hands. "Only keep it the cottage; we don't want the palace, Queen. Is the prince never to come back then?"
"Ah, that sounds great," the child said, clapping her hands. "Just keep it the cottage; we don't want the palace, Queen. Is the prince never coming back then?"
"Of course not; would you have him leave his fair one with the golden locks? Fie, Emmie; what a perfidious prince! They will go riding on and on for ever in the enchanted forest, while you and I are walking hand in hand down the long white road that people call life."
"Of course not; would you want him to leave his beautiful one with the golden hair? Come on, Emmie; what a deceitful prince! They will keep riding forever in the enchanted forest, while you and I walk hand in hand down the long white road people call life."
"What a funny idea! I like the wood best, Queenie."
"What a funny idea! I like the wood the most, Queenie."
"Ah, so do most people," she returned, rising with a sigh; "but perhaps we do not know what is best for us. Don't you recollect the story we once read of the child who wanted the star, and missed all the flowers that grew under its feet, and so pined away, and died of unfulfilled longing? You and I will be wiser than that, little one; we will leave the star to move in its own particular orbit, and gather all the sweet homely flowers that grow in our way;" and Queenie heaved another little sigh, for she was moralizing to herself as well as to Emmie.
"Ah, so do most people," she replied, getting up with a sigh; "but maybe we don’t really know what’s best for us. Don't you remember the story we read about the child who wanted the star and missed all the flowers growing right under it, and ended up pining away and dying from unfulfilled longing? You and I will be smarter than that, little one; we’ll let the star move in its own orbit and pick all the sweet, familiar flowers that come our way;" and Queenie let out another little sigh, as she was reflecting on this for herself as much as for Emmie.
It was not often that the sisters were alone. Cathy spent all her leisure hours at the cottage, and even Langley would often bring her work and sit with them in the porch of an evening. Garth too was a frequent visitor; he would come down the lane of an evening, and lean against the little gate for half an hour at a time. Sometimes he would come in and help the sisters with their gardening, and bring them little gifts of fruit and flowers.
It wasn't very common for the sisters to be alone. Cathy spent all her free time at the cottage, and even Langley would often bring her work and sit with them on the porch in the evenings. Garth was also a regular visitor; he would come down the lane in the evenings and lean against the little gate for half an hour at a time. Sometimes he would come in and help the sisters with their gardening, bringing them small gifts of fruit and flowers.
When Langley or Cathy were there he would join the little group in the porch, and linger beside them for hours, but never when they were alone. Often Ted would saunter in and trail his lazy length in one of the basket-work chairs. On these occasions Queenie would whisper to her little sister, and by-and-bye there would be a dainty repast set out for them of milk and fruit and cakes. How pretty and home-like their little parlor looked then, with its soft shaded lamp and bowl of roses! Sometimes the moonlight would stream in at the uncurtained window; one or two large grey moths would wheel round their heads. Garth would go and smoke his cigar on the broad gravel walk outside, while the girls talked softly within! Sometimes Mr. Logan would walk across and assist at these simple festivities, or Miss Cosie trip down the road with a grey shawl pinned over her curls; for the cottage was decidedly popular.
When Langley or Cathy were around, he would join the small group on the porch and hang out with them for hours, but never when they were alone. Often, Ted would stroll in and stretch out in one of the wicker chairs. During these times, Queenie would whisper to her little sister, and soon there would be a lovely spread of milk, fruit, and cakes laid out for them. Their little parlor looked so charming and homey then, with its softly shaded lamp and bowl of roses! Sometimes, the moonlight would pour in through the uncurtained window, and a few large gray moths would flutter around them. Garth would go outside to smoke his cigar on the broad gravel path while the girls chatted quietly inside! Occasionally, Mr. Logan would cross over to join in on these simple celebrations, or Miss Cosie would walk down the road with a gray shawl pinned over her curls; the cottage was definitely popular.
"Cathy, what makes you so quiet with Mr. Logan now?" Queenie asked her one afternoon when they were sitting together.
"Cathy, why are you so quiet around Mr. Logan now?" Queenie asked her one afternoon while they were sitting together.
Emmie was spending the evening with the Fawcetts. Captain Fawcett had called for her, and the two had gone off as usual hand in hand, the Captain glancing over his stiff stock at his little companion.
Emmie was spending the evening with the Fawcetts. Captain Fawcett had come to get her, and the two had walked off together as they usually did, the Captain looking over his stiff collar at his small companion.
Mr. Logan had looked in on them on his way to the school, and had brought them a message from Miss Cosie.
Mr. Logan had stopped by to see them on his way to school and brought them a message from Miss Cosie.
"Charlotte wants you both to come over to tea with her; she has a present of fine fruit from the Abbey farm, and she wants our friends to enjoy it with her. Miss Faith is coming, and so is Langley, and Garth has promised to look in by-and-bye."
"Charlotte wants you both to come over for tea with her; she has a gift of delicious fruit from the Abbey farm, and she wants our friends to enjoy it with her. Miss Faith is coming, and so is Langley, and Garth has promised to drop by later."
Queenie assented cheerfully; she had a warm liking for Mr. Logan, and a great affection for Miss Cosie, and nothing pleased her better than an evening spent in their company. It struck her that Cathy acquiesced rather unwillingly in the arrangement; she made one or two excuses rather ungraciously, but Mr. Logan would take no denial.
Queenie agreed happily; she really liked Mr. Logan and had a lot of affection for Miss Cosie, and nothing made her happier than spending an evening with them. It occurred to her that Cathy wasn't too enthusiastic about the plan; she offered a couple of excuses quite reluctantly, but Mr. Logan wouldn't take no for an answer.
"Never mind all that; Charlotte and I will quite expect you, Miss Catherine," was his tranquil answer.
"Don't worry about any of that; Charlotte and I will definitely expect you, Miss Catherine," was his calm reply.
Cathy flushed in a displeased manner, but she offered no more objections. A cloud settled on her brow now as Queenie spoke.
Cathy blushed in annoyance, but she didn’t say anything more. A frown appeared on her face as Queenie began to speak.
"You and he used to be such friends," she continued. "Don't you remember our talks in the garret? You used to call him your Mentor, and write such long letters to him sometimes; a word from him always seemed to influence you, and now it seems to me as though you tried to avoid him."
"You and he used to be really good friends," she continued. "Don't you remember our conversations in the attic? You used to call him your Mentor and would write him really long letters sometimes; a word from him always seemed to impact you, and now it feels like you're trying to avoid him."
Cathy bit her lip and remained silent.
Cathy bit her lip and stayed quiet.
"Dear Cathy, it is so strange, so unlike you to quarrel with your best friend. The more I see Mr. Logan, the more I honor and revere him, Such intellect, and yet the simplicity and guilelessness of a child. I believe he lives only to do good; he reminds one of those olden saints of whom one reads."
"Dear Cathy, it's really odd for you to argue with your best friend. The more I get to know Mr. Logan, the more I respect and admire him. He has such intelligence, yet possesses the simplicity and innocence of a child. I feel like he lives just to do good; he reminds me of those old saints you read about."
Cathy's dark eyes flashed, and then grew humid with repressed feeling.
Cathy's dark eyes sparkled and then became moist with unexpressed emotions.
"Ah, that is just it; one cannot breathe in such a rarefied atmosphere."
"Ah, that's exactly it; you can't breathe in such an exclusive atmosphere."
"Do you mean that you find his goodness so oppressive? I am not like you then; a really good man rests me somehow. I feel in looking at one as if I were in the presence of God's highest work, as though even He could do nothing better—the best and finished work before the seventh day's rest, when 'God saw that it was good.' Think of that, Cathy. I suppose," continued Queenie, reverently, "He saw the one Divine likeness stamped on the face of humanity, the one Man shining through the ages of men. Oh, there is nothing grander in all creation than a really good man."
"Are you saying that his goodness feels so overwhelming to you? I'm not like that; a genuinely good person gives me a sense of peace. When I look at someone like that, it’s as if I’m in the presence of God’s greatest creation, like even He couldn’t create anything better—the perfect and complete work before the seventh day’s rest, when 'God saw that it was good.' Think about that, Cathy. I guess," Queenie continued with reverence, "He saw the one Divine image reflected in humanity, the one Man shining throughout all of time. Oh, there’s nothing more impressive in all of creation than a truly good person."
"Don't, Queenie; I am not in a mood for your great thoughts to-night; you must come down and meet me on my own level. You don't know how inconceivably little and mean and insignificant he makes me feel. I begin," enunciating her words with an effort, "to feel afraid of myself and him."
"Don't, Queenie; I'm not in the mood for your deep thoughts tonight; you need to come down and meet me where I'm at. You have no idea how incredibly small and insignificant he makes me feel. I’m starting," she said, struggling to articulate her words, "to feel afraid of myself and him."
"Afraid of Mr. Logan! what nonsense, Catherina mia. Why a child, the very poorest and most miserable child, would slip its little hand in his fearlessly, and be soothed and comforted by the mere contact."
"Afraid of Mr. Logan? What nonsense, Catherina mia. A child, even the poorest and most miserable child, would reach out its little hand to him fearlessly, finding comfort and reassurance just from that simple touch."
"A child, ah, yes; but I am a woman," returned Cathy, almost inaudibly.
"A child, oh yes; but I'm a woman," Cathy replied, almost silently.
"You are a girl, and so am I, which means we are faulty, imperfect creatures, full of fads and fancies, and brimful of mischief I dare say. Do you think a man like Mr. Logan, who knows human nature, expects us to be perfection?"
"You’re a girl, and so am I, which means we are flawed, imperfect beings, full of trends and whims, and definitely full of mischief, I must say. Do you think a man like Mr. Logan, who understands human nature, expects us to be perfect?"
"No; but he expects us to grow up to him, and live and breathe in his atmosphere. But I can't, Queenie; I have tried, I have tried so hard to be good, but it stifles me; I feel just as I do when I am teaching the children in one of those close cottages, as though I must rush out and get some air, or I shall be suffocated."
"No; but he wants us to mature and thrive in his world. But I can't, Queenie; I've tried, I've really tried to be good, but it suffocates me; I feel just like I do when I'm teaching the kids in those cramped cottages, like I have to rush out for some fresh air, or I'll be suffocated."
"Why do you undervalue yourself so?" returned her friend, looking at her affectionately. "You have got into the habit; it is such a pity, and it spoils you so. I think you good, and you are good." But Cathy only pushed the dark locks back from her face, and looked disconsolate.
"Why do you underestimate yourself like this?" her friend replied, gazing at her with warmth. "You've fallen into this habit; it's really unfortunate, and it tarnishes you. I see the good in you, and you are good." But Cathy just brushed the dark hair away from her face and looked forlorn.
"What constitutes goodness, I wonder?" continued Queenie, reflectively. "We are simple every-day folk; we cannot all be saints. In every age there will be giants in the land. You and I, dear old Cath, must be content with being 'the little ones.'
"What does it mean to be good, I wonder?" continued Queenie, thoughtfully. "We’re just everyday people; we can’t all be saints. In every era, there will be giants among us. You and I, dear old Cath, must be happy with being 'the little ones.'
"Ah, you are nearer his standard than I," in a low, bitter voice.
"Ah, you're closer to his standard than I am," she said in a low, bitter voice.
"It must be a painfully low one then. For shame, when you know all my faults as well as you know your own. I for one will always believe in you. You have such a great heart, Cathy; you would lay down your life for those you love."
"It must really hurt then. How embarrassing, when you’re aware of all my flaws just like you know your own. I, for one, will always believe in you. You have such a big heart, Cathy; you would sacrifice everything for those you love."
"You are right there."
"You're right there."
"Is unselfishness so common a virtue in this world that one can afford to despise it? How often have I admired your thorough honesty, your hatred of anything crooked and mean. There is nothing little about you, that is why I care for you so much."
"Is unselfishness such a common virtue in this world that we can afford to look down on it? How many times have I admired your complete honesty, your dislike for anything crooked and petty? There’s nothing small about you; that’s why I care for you so much."
"All pagan virtues," with a faint smile.
"All pagan virtues," she said with a slight smile.
"Cathy, your self-depreciation is incorrigible."
"Cathy, your self-deprecation is incorrigible."
"I tell you what I mean to do," rousing herself, but speaking in the same suppressed voice. "I want to go away from here; this little corner of the world stifles me. I get so tired of it all, the trying to be good and keep down my restlessness, I mean. I have so few home duties; Langley and Garth do not really want me. I should not be much missed."
"I'll tell you what I plan to do," she said, gathering her strength but still using the same quiet tone. "I want to get away from here; this tiny part of the world suffocates me. I'm so tired of everything, trying to be good and suppress my restlessness, you know? I have so few responsibilities at home; Langley and Garth don’t really need me. I wouldn’t be missed much."
"You would leave me and Emmie!" incredulously.
"You would leave me and Emmie!" in disbelief.
"Poor old Madam Dignity. It does seem hard, I know. Never mind, I should come back to you all the better and the happier for having worked off my superfluous steam. One must have a safety-valve somewhere."
"Poor old Madam Dignity. It really does seem tough, I know. But don't worry, I’ll come back to you all the better and happier for having released some of my extra stress. Everyone needs a safety valve somewhere."
"But, Cathy, you are surely not serious. I cannot see any reason for this absurd restlessness; you must throw it off, fight against it, as other women do."
"But, Cathy, you can't be serious. I don't see any reason for this ridiculous restlessness; you need to shake it off, fight against it, like other women do."
"My dear oracle, there are women and women. I really believe there is a little of the savage about me; I do so object to be tamed down, and made submissive to mere conventionality. Perhaps my great grandmother was a Pawnee or a Zingaree; I must ask Garth. I don't feel completely Saxon or Celtic."
"My dear oracle, there are different kinds of women. I truly believe there’s a bit of the wild in me; I really dislike being restrained and made to fit into mere societal norms. Maybe my great grandmother was a Pawnee or a Zingaree; I should ask Garth. I don’t feel entirely Saxon or Celtic."
"How can you talk so wildly?"
"How can you speak so wildly?"
"Grandmamma Wolf, what great eyes you have got. Don't eat me up in your fiery indignation. Seriously, Queen, don't you think it would be good for me to go away for a time?"
"Grandma Wolf, what big eyes you have. Please don’t eat me in your rage. Honestly, Queen, don’t you think it would be a good idea for me to leave for a while?"
"Are you so anxious to leave us all?" regretfully, but moved by a certain passionate pain in the girl's face.
"Are you really that eager to leave us all?" regretfully, but touched by a certain deep pain in the girl's expression.
"I think I am. Yes, though I shall half break my heart over it. I think I am. You see, I am not like other girls. I cannot lead a quiet, humdrum life that means nothing and leads to nowhere—that is just it. I want to see the world, to rub up against other folk, and study their characters and idiosyncrasies; to have a life of my own to live, not tagged on to other people."
"I think I am. Yes, but it’s going to break my heart a little. I truly believe I am. You see, I’m not like other girls. I can’t live a boring, uneventful life that has no meaning and goes nowhere—that’s the issue. I want to explore the world, meet different people, and understand their personalities and quirks; I want to have my own life, not just being attached to others."
"But women cannot choose their own life. It always seems to me that their fate is decided for them," interrupted Queenie, in a puzzled tone.
"But women can't choose their own lives. It always feels like their fate is decided for them," interrupted Queenie, sounding confused.
"Not for my sort of women. Thank Heaven I am still myself enough to decide my own fate. No, I am not crazy, Queen," as her friend looked at her with a sorely perplexed countenance; "my plan is a very reasonable and sensible one. I have an idea that my vocation is nursing; not stupid sort of illnesses, but downright hard hospital nursing—broken limbs, and accidents, and horrible fever cases; real horrors, not imaginary, mind. Nervous or hypochondriacal patients, no, thank you; Catherine Clayton will have nothing to say to them."
"Not for my kind of women. Thank goodness I’m still myself enough to determine my own path. No, I’m not crazy, Queen," as her friend looked at her with a thoroughly confused expression; "my plan is perfectly reasonable and sensible. I’ve got a feeling that my calling is nursing; not silly little ailments, but serious hospital nursing—broken bones, accidents, and severe fever cases; real challenges, not make-believe, understand? Nervous or hypochondriac patients? No thanks; Catherine Clayton wants nothing to do with them."
"Go on," was the injunction, in a resigned voice, as Cathy paused to collect her breath.
"Go on," said the voice, filled with resignation, as Cathy took a moment to catch her breath.
"Miss Faith and I have had a long talk about it; she is not sceptical like you, she knows too well how bad this sort of restlessness is to bear; besides, she has tried it herself, and loves the work."
"Miss Faith and I have had a long conversation about it; she's not as doubtful as you are; she understands how difficult this kind of restlessness is to endure. Plus, she has experienced it herself and loves the work."
"Yes, I can understand such a life suiting Miss Faith; she is one of those ministering women born to smooth sick pillows. But you, Cathy," trying hard to repress a smile.
"Yes, I can see how that kind of life would be perfect for Miss Faith; she’s one of those caring women made to ease the discomfort of the sick. But you, Cathy," trying hard to hold back a smile.
"I grant you that I might deal the aforesaid pillow an occasional thump if my patient should prove refractory; but all the same, I feel as though bandages and blisters were my vocation. I have theories about nursing that would astonish your weak mind. I believe a nurse requires as thorough an education, as careful a training, as any medical student. Miss Faith is quite of my opinion; she advises me to go to London."
"I admit that I might give that pillow a good thump now and then if my patient doesn't cooperate; but still, I feel like bandages and blisters are my true calling. I have some nursing theories that would blow your mind. I believe a nurse needs just as much education and careful training as any medical student. Miss Faith agrees with me; she suggests I should go to London."
"I did not know Miss Faith was your confidant," in a slightly hurt voice.
"I didn't know Miss Faith was your confidant," she said, sounding a bit hurt.
"Only in this one thing, my dear Madam Dignity," with a penitent squeeze. "She said London, and I said 'Amen.' Garth knows the house surgeon at St. George's, and the matron is a great friend of Langley's; that makes it so easy to carry out my plan."
"Only in this one thing, my dear Lady—Dignity," with a remorseful squeeze. "She mentioned London, and I replied 'Amen.' Garth is acquainted with the house surgeon at St. George's, and the matron is a close friend of Langley's; that makes my plan so easy to execute."
"Cathy, I do believe that you are serious."
"Cathy, I really believe that you are serious."
"I am glad you have spoken a sensible word at last."
"I'm glad you finally said something sensible."
"The work will be most revolting."
"The work is going to be really disgusting."
"Do you think that will daunt me? Are not women sent into the world to minister and relieve pain?"
"Do you really think that will scare me? Aren't women meant to be in this world to help and ease suffering?"
"The labor will be excessive, and trying in the extreme," persisted Queenie. "Have you ever seen the wards of a hospital? I believe you will soon sicken and droop for your northern home."
"The work will be too much, and really tough," Queenie insisted. "Have you ever seen the wards of a hospital? I think you'll quickly feel unwell and long for your home up north."
"Pshaw! I should scorn to be such a coward; half-measures are not to my taste."
"Pfft! I would never stoop to being such a coward; half-measures are not my style."
"That is all very well now; but when you are weak and unnerved by watching."
"That's fine now, but when you're feeling weak and anxious from watching."
"Thank heavens I don't know what nerves are, my dear. A healthy mind and body are the first requisites for a good nurse. Just as indecision is fatal to a general's success, so would nervousness ruin the best trained nurse. Even Garth owns that as far as that goes my physique is perfect."
"Thank goodness I don’t know what nerves are, my dear. A healthy mind and body are the first necessities for a good nurse. Just like indecision is deadly for a general’s success, nervousness would destroy the best-trained nurse. Even Garth admits that, when it comes to that, my physique is perfect."
"Do you mean that you have already spoken to him?" in aghast voice.
"Are you saying that you've already talked to him?" she asked in shock.
"Yes; and to Langley too. They were surprised of course, and rather incredulous, but they do not thoroughly oppose my project. Langley has told Garth more than once that our quiet home life will never suit me. Langley is a wise woman, Queen."
"Yes; and to Langley too. They were surprised, of course, and somewhat skeptical, but they don’t completely oppose my plan. Langley has told Garth several times that our peaceful home life will never be right for me. Langley is a smart woman, Queen."
"And you have communicated your plan to all but me," very sadly. "What has become of our old confidence, Cathy?"
"And you've shared your plan with everyone except me," she said sadly. "What happened to our old trust, Cathy?"
"Hush! there speaks jealousy, not my Queen. If I did not tell you, it was because I would not harass you with half-digested plans. I could do nothing without Garth's and Langley's consent."
"Hush! that's jealousy talking, not my Queen. If I didn't tell you, it's because I didn't want to overwhelm you with half-baked ideas. I couldn't do anything without Garth's and Langley's approval."
"They have given it then?"
"Did they give it then?"
"Not yet; but I know they will. You see, my demands were very moderate. I told Garth my views: that every woman should have a definite work or trade, and that it should, if possible, be self-supporting; that teaching was not to my taste, but that nursing was. And then I asked his permission to go up to London for a six months' trial. Could there be anything more sensible?"
"Not yet; but I know they will. You see, my requests were very reasonable. I told Garth what I thought: that every woman should have a clear job or trade, and that it should, if possible, be self-supporting; that teaching wasn’t for me, but nursing was. And then I asked for his permission to go up to London for a six-month trial. Could there be anything more sensible?"
"But did they not question you about your reason? No, Cathy, do not turn away from me; am I not your friend? can I not see that you are unhappy?"
"But didn't they ask you why? No, Cathy, don’t turn away from me; am I not your friend? Can’t I see that you’re unhappy?"
"I shall not be unhappy if I can once get away from here and taste freedom; when I am no longer straitened, thralled, in bondage. No, Queenie dear, indeed I have told you all that I know about myself; there is nothing more to tell. Hush! here comes Miss Faith; not a word of this before her. I am tired of the subject; your scepticism has quite exhausted me."
"I won’t be unhappy if I can finally leave here and experience freedom; when I’m no longer constrained, trapped, or in bondage. No, Queenie dear, I have truly shared everything I know about myself; there’s nothing else to say. Hush! Here comes Miss Faith; let’s not mention this in front of her. I’m tired of the topic; your skepticism has completely worn me out."
"Cathy, Cathy, what an incomprehensible being you are!" sighed Queenie, as she ran off to fetch her broad-brimmed hat.
"Cathy, Cathy, what an impossible person you are!" sighed Queenie, as she hurried off to grab her wide-brimmed hat.
Miss Faith had come to fetch them to the Vicarage. Her quiet face brightened at the sight of the girls. An evening's pleasure, a simple tea-drinking with her friends, was an unwonted event in her colorless life.
Miss Faith had come to pick them up for the Vicarage. Her calm face lit up when she saw the girls. An evening of fun, just having tea with her friends, was a rare treat in her dull life.
"It was so good of Cara to spare her a whole evening, just when they were finishing the last chapter of 'Trench's Parables,' and she wanted her to begin Bossuet's life. It was very unselfish of Cara," she went on, smoothing down the soft grey merino, with its fresh lace ruffles; for Miss Faith was not without her pet vanities, and fine lace ruffles round the neck and wrists were her special weakness.
"It was really nice of Cara to give her an entire evening, especially when they were finishing up the last chapter of 'Trench's Parables,' and she wanted her to start on Bossuet's life. It was very generous of Cara," she continued, smoothing out the soft grey merino with its new lace ruffles; because Miss Faith had her own little vanities, and beautiful lace ruffles around the neck and wrists were her particular weakness.
As they crossed the road Garth emerged from the lane that led to Church-Stile House. A gleam of pleasure overspread his face as he greeted them.
As they crossed the road, Garth came out of the lane that led to Church-Stile House. A look of happiness spread across his face as he greeted them.
"Good evening, Miss Faith; what an age it is since we have seen you. How are the rest of the cardinal virtues? and what new book-torture is Miss Charity inflicting on you? By-the-bye, ladies, have you heard the wonderful intelligence? the new doctor has made his appearance."
"Good evening, Miss Faith; it's been ages since we last saw you. How are the other cardinal virtues? And what new book torture is Miss Charity putting you through? By the way, ladies, have you heard the exciting news? The new doctor has arrived."
"No; oh, tell us all about it!" exclaimed the three. "Who is he? What is his name? Is he young and nice-looking; or is he old, and stout, and horridly uninteresting?" this last from Cathy.
"No; oh, please tell us everything!" exclaimed the three. "Who is he? What's his name? Is he young and attractive, or is he old, heavyset, and completely boring?" This last part was from Cathy.
Garth looked benignantly at their agitated countenances. Their curiosity imparted a relish to the news. Here he had been in possession of the latest intelligence for at least half an hour; had met the new-comer with Mr. Logan, and had shaken hands with him; had discussed the weather and the crops, after the usual manner of Englishmen, while Hepshaw was buried in profound ignorance of the acquisition it had gained.
Garth looked kindly at their worried faces. Their curiosity made the news even more enjoyable. He had already had the latest update for at least half an hour; he had met the newcomer with Mr. Logan and shaken hands with him. They had talked about the weather and the crops, just like Englishmen do, while Hepshaw was completely unaware of the news they had received.
"So you have not heard the news?" he repeated, calmly.
"So you haven't heard the news?" he said, calmly.
"No; of course not. Do be quick, Garth. Who is he?"
"No, of course not. Hurry up, Garth. Who is he?"
"Ah, that is the question."
"Ah, that's the question."
"Have you seen him? has any one told you about him? will he live in Dr. Morgan's old house? is he married? has he a tribe of children?"
"Have you seen him? Has anyone told you about him? Is he going to live in Dr. Morgan's old house? Is he married? Does he have a bunch of kids?"
"One question at a time, ladies. Who asked if he were married? Cathy, of course. No; I believe not; but I never asked him."
"One question at a time, ladies. Who asked if he was married? Cathy, of course. No; I don't think so; but I never asked him."
"You have seen him then. Oh, Miss Faith, does he not deserve to be shaken, to keep us in this suspense? Perhaps, after all, he is only a red-headed little apothecary."
"You’ve seen him then. Oh, Miss Faith, doesn’t he deserve to be shaken for keeping us in this suspense? Maybe, after all, he’s just a little red-headed pharmacist."
"That I am sure he is not."
"That I'm sure he's not."
"He is nice then?" stimulated to fresh efforts by the twinkle in her brother's eye. Garth was evidently bent on enjoying himself at their expense.
"He’s nice, then?" she asked, energized by the sparkle in her brother's eye. Garth was clearly determined to have a good time at their expense.
"That depends on what you call nice. He seemed tolerably pleasant, talked good English without a twang, and had no disagreeable provincial accent."
"That depends on what you mean by nice. He seemed fairly pleasant, spoke good English without a dialect, and didn’t have any annoying regional accent."
"Young or old?"
"Young or old?"
"About forty, I should say; couldn't answer for a year or two."
"Probably around forty, I guess; can't be sure for a year or two."
"Over forty! Then he must be an old bachelor. How dreadfully uninteresting!"
"Over forty? Then he must be an old bachelor. How incredibly boring!"
"I will repeat that speech to Mr. Logan."
"I'll say that speech to Mr. Logan again."
Cathy moved aside as if she had been stung.
Cathy stepped aside as if she had been stung.
Miss Faith hazarded the next question rather timidly: "Was he tall or short?"
Miss Faith cautiously asked the next question, "Was he tall or short?"
"Neither the one nor the other."
"Neither this nor that."
Still further questioning elicited no remarkable items of information. He was not very stout, neither was he particularly thin; had a pleasant voice and manner; was somewhat sallow in complexion; and was becoming decidedly grey; did not wear spectacles, and had shrewd and rather humorous eyes.
Still further questioning revealed no noteworthy information. He was not very heavy, but he wasn't particularly thin either; he had a nice voice and manner; his complexion was somewhat yellowish; and he was definitely going grey; he didn't wear glasses and had sharp, somewhat humorous eyes.
"Where was he going to live?"
"Where was he going to live?"
"Did not ask him; is at present putting up at the Deer-hound. Comes from Carlisle, so he says."
"Didn’t ask him; he’s currently staying at the Deer-hound. Comes from Carlisle, or so he claims."
"From Carlisle?" in a faint voice from Miss Faith.
"From Carlisle?" Miss Faith said quietly.
"Yes. His name is Stewart, Angus Stewart, or rather Dr. Stewart, as he is now. On the whole he is a gentlemanly sort of fellow, and likely to prove an acquisition to our little circle. I say, Cath, won't Mrs. Morris set her cap at him?"
"Yes. His name is Stewart, Angus Stewart, or rather Dr. Stewart, as he is now. Overall, he's a pretty gentlemanly guy and should be a great addition to our little group. I say, Cath, do you think Mrs. Morris will try to catch his eye?"
"I think we had better walk on now," returned Cathy, abruptly, at the mention of the name. She had started violently, and had shot a quick, sidelong glance at Miss Faith. "Come, Miss Faith, we shall be late for tea."
"I think we should move on now," Cathy replied sharply when she heard the name. She had jumped in surprise and glanced quickly at Miss Faith. "Come on, Miss Faith, we’re going to be late for tea."
"Yes; we shall be late," she returned, mechanically, putting a shaking hand on the girl's arm, as though to steady herself. There was not a tinge of color in Miss Faith's fair face; her breath came and went unevenly; she spoke in little gasps. "Are you sure that we heard right, Cathy? did your brother say his name was Stewart?"
"Yeah, we'll be late," she replied, almost robotically, placing a trembling hand on the girl's arm as if to steady herself. There wasn't a hint of color in Miss Faith's pale face; her breathing was uneven, and she spoke in quick gasps. "Are you sure we heard correctly, Cathy? Did your brother say his name was Stewart?"
"Yes; Angus Stewart," returned Cathy, in a brisk, off-hand voice; "he comes from Carlisle. Ah, by the-bye, I should not be surprised if he should prove an old hospital acquaintance of yours, Miss Faith. What fun that will be! After all, the world is not so large as one thinks it."
"Yeah, Angus Stewart," Cathy replied casually. "He’s from Carlisle. Oh, by the way, I wouldn’t be surprised if he turns out to be an old hospital acquaintance of yours, Miss Faith. That would be fun! After all, the world isn’t as big as you might think."
"It is very strange," rejoined Miss Faith, and her lips trembled nervously over her words. "The coincidence of the name and the place startled me a little. I knew some one of that name in Carlisle—let me see—ten years ago."
"It’s really strange," replied Miss Faith, her lips trembling as she spoke. "The coincidence of the name and the place caught me off guard a bit. I knew someone with that name in Carlisle—let me think—ten years ago."
"How very odd!" returned her companion, with well-counterfeited surprise, and looking straight before her. "Only ten years ago? Ah, then it must be the same; besides, the name is so very uncommon."
"How strange!" her companion replied, feigning surprise and looking straight ahead. "Only ten years ago? Ah, then it must be the same; plus, the name is really rare."
"Angus? ah, that is what he used to say. He was very proud of his name. He told me once that was all of which he had to be proud. He was so poor, he meant. He was the house surgeon, and one used to see a good deal of him. He had a mother and sister, I remember, who lived in such a tiny house in the town."
"Angus? Ah, that’s what he used to say. He was really proud of his name. He once told me that was all he had to be proud of. He meant he was very poor. He was the house surgeon, and I used to see quite a lot of him. I remember he had a mother and sister who lived in a really small house in town."
"And you have never seen him since?"
"And you haven’t seen him since?"
"No," hesitating and faltering; "I had to give up nursing, and come back to Cara. One loses friends sometimes in that way. It was hard, of course; for I loved my work and my children; but one must do hard things sometimes in this world," finished poor Miss Faith, with unconscious philosophy.
"No," she said, hesitating and stumbling over her words; "I had to give up nursing and come back to Cara. You sometimes lose friends that way. It was tough, of course, because I loved my work and my kids; but sometimes you just have to do hard things in this world," concluded poor Miss Faith, with an unintentional wisdom.
CHAPTER X.
THE NEW DOCTOR.
"I learn'd at last submission to my lot,
But, though I less deplored thee, ne'er forgot."
Cowper.
"I finally learned to accept my fate,
But even though I mourned you less, I never forgot."
Cowper.
"I wonder how women of thirty-five feel under these circumstances," thought Cathy, as she followed the others up the narrow dark staircase leading to Miss Cosie's neat sanctum. "I should have imagined all sentiment would have been worried out of them by this time, in this dismal old mill-pond they call life. It is very odd, but it is amusing too," she continued, with a certain girlish curiosity at the elderly romance that was impending before her eyes. After all it was not without its pathos. "Perhaps he will not recognize her when they meet, or most likely he has a wife and two or three children somewhere; I would not answer for him. It is the women who are faithful in these cases. In my opinion Jacob is the exception, not the rule. Poor old Jacob, how threadbare they have worn him! He was very patient and deep, but I liked Esau best."
"I wonder how women in their thirties feel in a situation like this," thought Cathy as she followed the others up the narrow, dark staircase to Miss Cosie's neat office. "I would have thought that all romantic notions would have been worn down by now, in this dreary old mill-pond they call life. It's quite strange, but also entertaining," she continued, feeling a youthful curiosity about the older romance unfolding before her. After all, it had its own sadness. "Maybe he won't recognize her when they meet, or more likely he has a wife and a couple of kids somewhere; I wouldn't bet against that. It's usually the women who remain loyal in these situations. In my opinion, Jacob is the exception, not the rule. Poor old Jacob, how worn out they’ve made him! He was very patient and thoughtful, but I liked Esau the best."
Cathy mused on in her rambling fashion. Now and then she and Queenie exchanged glances full of meaning.
Cathy rambled on, lost in her thoughts. Every now and then, she and Queenie shared meaningful looks.
"Is it—can it really be he?" whispered Queenie, as she tied and untied Cathy's velvet.
"Is it—could it really be him?" whispered Queenie, as she tied and untied Cathy's velvet.
"Not a doubt of it," replied the other. "Hush! we shall hear more by-and-bye."
"Absolutely," replied the other. "Shh! We’ll hear more soon."
Miss Faith looked at them both with soft dazed eyes. She had no idea that they were talking of her. "Angus Stewart! there cannot be two of that name," she said to herself, as she smoothed out her ruffles with trembling hands, and tried to adjust her pearl brooch to her liking. "I wonder when I shall see him, and if he will know me again." But here Miss Cosie rushed upon them with a small whirlwind of interjections and exclamations.
Miss Faith looked at both of them with soft, dazed eyes. She had no idea they were talking about her. "Angus Stewart! There can't be two people with that name," she thought as she smoothed out her ruffles with trembling hands and tried to adjust her pearl brooch to her liking. "I wonder when I’ll see him, and if he’ll recognize me again." But at that moment, Miss Cosie rushed in, a small whirlwind of interjections and exclamations.
"Oh, my dears; there, there, you all look as fresh as rosebuds. What do you think? The most wonderful thing has happened. Just fancy Christopher taking it into his head to bring him here!"
"Oh, my dears; there, there, you all look as fresh as rosebuds. What do you think? The most amazing thing has happened. Just imagine Christopher deciding to bring him here!"
"To bring whom, dear Miss Cosie?" asked Cathy quickly, for Miss Faith's color was varying dangerously.
"To bring who, dear Miss Cosie?" Cathy asked quickly, noticing that Miss Faith's color was changing dangerously.
"Why, Mr. Mac'ivor, or what's his name—something Scotch I am sure. The new doctor, I mean. And there they are talking as comfortably as though they had known each other for years, instead of minutes. Christopher has taken him over to the church already.'
"Why, Mr. Mac'ivor, or whatever his name is—something Scottish, I’m sure. The new doctor, I mean. And there they are chatting away as if they've known each other for years, instead of just minutes. Christopher has already taken him to the church."
"If Mr. Stewart be here we had better go down," observed Cathy, demurely, but her eyes danced with fun.
"If Mr. Stewart is here, we should probably go downstairs," Cathy said modestly, but her eyes sparkled with mischief.
"Ah, Stewart, of course. There, there, my dear, my head is like a sieve, as Kit always tells me. 'Why, Charlotte, there must be a hole in your brain somewhere,' as he often says. And there he is, dear fellow, looking as pleased as though he had got some one to his liking; and indeed he seems a pleasant, sociable sort of person."
"Ah, Stewart, of course. There, there, my dear, my head is like a sieve, just as Kit always tells me. 'Why, Charlotte, there must be a hole in your brain somewhere,' he often says. And there he is, good fellow, looking as happy as if he had found someone he likes; and indeed he seems like a nice, friendly kind of person."
"Yes; but your tea will be spoiled if we stand talking any longer," put in artful Cathy; and Miss Cosie took the hint, and trotted off in her velvet high-heeled slippers, looking like a little grey mouse of a woman, in her dove-colored gown and soft Shetland shawl.
"Yeah, but your tea will get cold if we keep chatting," chimed in clever Cathy; and Miss Cosie caught on, trotting off in her velvet high-heeled slippers, looking like a little gray mouse of a woman in her dove-colored gown and soft Shetland shawl.
"There, there, my dear, if I had not forgotten all about the tea!" they could hear her exclaim. as she whisked down the passage.
"There, there, my dear, if I hadn't completely forgotten about the tea!" they could hear her exclaim as she hurried down the hallway.
"Now we will go down," exclaimed Cathy, promptly. "Come, Miss Faith, you are just as nice as possible;" for the nervous fingers were still adjusting the troublesome ruffle. "Think what a loss you have over those last chapters of 'Trench's Parables,' and how Cara will miss you," continued the mischievous girl, as she hurried on her trembling companion. "You have exchanged 'the feast of reason and the flow of soul' just for Miss Cosie's junket and fruit."
"Now we’re going down," Cathy exclaimed eagerly. "Come on, Miss Faith, you’re just the sweetest!" The nervous fingers were still fiddling with the annoying ruffle. "Just think about how much you’ll be missing from those last chapters of 'Trench's Parables,' and how much Cara will miss you," the playful girl added as she urged her shaky companion to keep moving. "You’ve traded 'the feast of reason and the flow of soul' just for Miss Cosie's little trip and some fruit."
"I wish—I almost wish I were back with Cara," gasped poor Miss Faith at the parlor door; and indeed the ordeal was a trying one even to a woman of thirty-five.
"I wish—I almost wish I were back with Cara," gasped poor Miss Faith at the parlor door; and indeed, the situation was a tough one even for a woman of thirty-five.
Mr. Logan made the necessary introductions as easily as possible. "Here, ladies, is our new doctor, Mr. Stewart; give him a hearty welcome to Hepshaw. This is our girls' school-mistress, Miss Marriott, and this is Miss Catherine Clayton, but Miss Faith Palmer ought to have come first."
Mr. Logan introduced everyone as smoothly as he could. “Ladies, this is our new doctor, Mr. Stewart; please give him a warm welcome to Hepshaw. This is our girls' school teacher, Miss Marriott, and this is Miss Catherine Clayton, but we should have introduced Miss Faith Palmer first.”
"Miss Faith Palmer?" queried a pleasant voice, for the parlor was somewhat dim; "here at least I ought to require no introduction," and the new-comer pressed forward to catch a farther glimpse of Miss Faith's pale face.
"Miss Faith Palmer?" asked a friendly voice, as the parlor was a bit dim; "I shouldn’t need to introduce myself here," and the newcomer stepped closer to get a better look at Miss Faith's pale face.
"Yes, we are old friends, Mr. Stewart," she returned, putting a very cold hand in his. She was glad of the half-light; he could not see her, she thought. How his voice thrilled her? Was it really ten years ago since she had last heard it?
"Yeah, we’re old friends, Mr. Stewart," she replied, placing a very cold hand in his. She was thankful for the dim light; he couldn't see her, she thought. How his voice sent shivers down her spine! Had it really been ten years since she last heard it?
"You are the last person I expected to see to-night," he continued, still standing near her. "It was very forgetful of me. I remember now that you said you lived at Hepshaw, but all sorts of things have driven it clean out of my head."
"You’re the last person I expected to see tonight," he continued, still standing close to her. "That was really forgetful of me. I remember now that you mentioned you lived in Hepshaw, but a lot of things have completely slipped my mind."
"All sorts of things! He is married then," argued Cathy, shrewdly. "Oh, you men, you men!"
"All sorts of things! He’s married then," argued Cathy, cleverly. "Oh, you men, you men!"
"Ten years is a long time, a very long time," faltered Miss Faith. She experienced a chill feeling at the same moment. Was it a presentiment?
"Ten years is a long time, a really long time," faltered Miss Faith. She felt a chill at that moment. Was it a bad feeling about the future?
"Is it ten years since we met? I had no idea it was so long," he returned, pulling his whiskers reflectively. "Do you recollect the hospital and the boys' ward. What a capital nurse you used to be, Miss Faith, and how attached your little patients were to you!"
"Has it really been ten years since we met? I had no idea it was that long," he said, thoughtfully stroking his beard. "Do you remember the hospital and the boys' ward? You were such a great nurse, Miss Faith, and your little patients were so fond of you!"
"Is it—is everything just the same?" she asked, nervously.
"Is it—is everything just the same?" she asked, nervously.
"As when I was house surgeon there, do you mean? I don't know; I have been away from Carlisle a good many years. The hospital work got humdrum somehow, and I had a berth offered me as army surgeon in Bombay; and as Alice was married, and my mother was dead, I thought I might as well try my luck. I got tired of it though."
"As when I was a house surgeon there, is that what you mean? I’m not sure; it's been quite a few years since I left Carlisle. The hospital work became boring, and I was offered a position as an army surgeon in Bombay. Since Alice was married and my mother had passed away, I figured I might as well give it a shot. But I ended up getting tired of it."
"Alice married!"; with a quick flush of interest. They were sitting at Miss Cosie's tea-table now. Mr. Stewart was by his hostess, but he had found room for his old acquaintance beside him.
"Alice got married!"; with a quick flash of interest. They were sitting at Miss Cosie's tea table now. Mr. Stewart was next to his hostess, but he had made space for his old friend beside him.
"You can't think how pleasant it is to meet an old friend in a strange place," he had observed confidentially to Miss Cosie, and the little woman had nodded and smiled delightedly.
"You can't imagine how nice it is to run into an old friend in an unfamiliar place," he said confidentially to Miss Cosie, and the little woman nodded and smiled with delight.
"Yes, Alice is married; pretty girls will sometimes," with the humorous sparkle in his eyes that she remembered so well. "She married a clergyman in Lincolnshire, and has two fine boys of whom she is very proud; I have just been staying with them in their pleasant vicarage. By-the-bye, she asked after you."
"Yes, Alice is married; pretty girls sometimes do," he said with that funny glint in his eyes that she remembered so well. "She married a clergyman in Lincolnshire and has two great boys she's very proud of; I just visited them in their nice vicarage. By the way, she asked about you."
"After me?" with another rush of sensitive color that made her look years younger.
"After me?" with another wave of delicate color that made her look years younger.
"Yes; she asked if I had seen you, but I could not satisfy her on that point. Don't you think it was a shabby trick, Miss Faith, vanishing from Carlisle as you did, and never coming back? I always meant to ask you that question if we ever met again."
"Yeah; she asked if I had seen you, but I couldn't answer her about that. Don't you think it was a sneaky move, Miss Faith, disappearing from Carlisle like you did and never coming back? I always planned to ask you that question if we ran into each other again."
"I hoped to come back; I never meant to leave like that," she returned in such a low voice that Dr. Stewart had some trouble to hear her. "It was my sister's accident. You remember that I told you when I wished your mother and Alice good-bye."
"I hoped to come back; I never meant to leave like that," she said in a voice so quiet that Dr. Stewart had some trouble hearing her. "It was my sister's accident. You remember I mentioned it when I said goodbye to your mother and Alice."
"Yes; but I trusted that it was only a temporary affair, and that you might soon have been set free."
"Yes, but I hoped it was just a temporary situation and that you would be free soon."
"I am not free yet," in a sad voice that went far to explain to Dr. Stewart the meaning of the worn, patient face and set lines.
"I’m not free yet," she said in a sad voice that helped Dr. Stewart understand the meaning behind her worn, patient face and tight expression.
The Faith Palmer of ten years ago had been a fair, pretty girl, with the lightest step and the happiest laugh imaginable, and all manner of bright winning ways. It was a sweet face still, he thought, only so thin and careworn, and all the soft coloring faded. Even her voice was subdued and quieted past recognition; the despondence of the key had touched him painfully from the first.
The Faith Palmer of ten years ago had been a beautiful girl, with a light step and the happiest laugh you could imagine, along with all sorts of charming traits. It was still a lovely face, he thought, but now it was so thin and worn out, with all the vibrant color faded away. Even her voice was muted and barely recognizable; the sadness in her tone had pained him from the very beginning.
Faith's scrutiny had not been half so severe. Dr. Stewart was older, of coarse, and browner; well, and stouter, and he was becoming very grey; but what did that matter? There were the pleasant outlines, that had lingered for ten years in her memory, the shrewd, twinkling eyes, with their touch of humor, and the clear, genial voice.
Faith's examination wasn't nearly as harsh. Dr. Stewart was older, of course, and more weathered; well, he was larger and was turning quite grey; but what did that matter? There were the nice features that had stayed in her mind for ten years, the clever, twinkling eyes with a hint of humor, and the warm, friendly voice.
"What does that mean? we are none of us free, for the matter of that," he asked abruptly, but not unkindly. "Here I am tying myself down for life in this northern village, because an Indian sun chose to play the most confounded tricks with my liver, and to make my existence a burthen to me. Do you mean that your sister is still an invalid?"
"What does that mean? None of us are really free," he asked suddenly, but not harshly. "Here I am, committing myself for life in this northern village, because an Indian sun decided to mess with my health and turn my life into a burden. Are you saying that your sister is still unwell?"
"Yes; I have been nursing her for ten years. There are the others, but she has got used to me. Poor Cara, she is to lie down all her life, they say."
"Yeah, I've been taking care of her for ten years. There are others, but she's gotten used to me. Poor Cara, they say she has to lie down for the rest of her life."
"Humph! that accounts for it," with a dissatisfied glance, and pulling his whiskers rather fiercely. "Well, Miss Faith, I can't say home-nursing has agreed with you."
"Humph! That explains it," he said with a discontented look, pulling at his whiskers quite forcefully. "Well, Miss Faith, I can't say that staying home and taking care of things has done you any good."
"That means that you find me changed," thought poor Miss Faith, trying to swallow down a very large lump in her throat. She had sustained her share in the conversation with tolerable success up to the present moment, but now the chilliness was creeping over her again. Why had he not tried to find out what had become of her? Hepshaw and Carlisle were not so very far apart after all. True, she had promised him to return, and had left him in perfect confidence that she would redeem her promise; but she had not been to blame for her failure. "I gave it all up, all that I knew was waiting for me, because Cara wanted me," she thought; "but he never tried to find out what had become of me."
"That means you see me differently," thought poor Miss Faith, trying to swallow a big lump in her throat. She had held up her end of the conversation fairly well until now, but the coldness was creeping back in. Why hadn't he tried to find out what happened to her? Hepshaw and Carlisle weren’t that far apart, after all. True, she had promised to come back, and she had left him believing she would keep that promise; but she couldn't be blamed for not fulfilling it. "I gave up everything I knew was waiting for me because Cara needed me," she thought, "but he never tried to check on me."
It was well for Faith Palmer that Cathy, who was watching them from the other side of the table, struck in boldly at this juncture; it gave her time to swallow down the troublesome lump, and regain her lost self-command. During the animated talk that followed, and in which Dr. Stewart bore a chief part, she sat plaiting the snowy table-cloth with her slender fingers, and saying over and over to herself, "Ten years, and he never cared to know whether I was alive or dead."
It was a good thing for Faith Palmer that Cathy, who was watching them from across the table, boldly chimed in at that moment; it allowed her to swallow the annoying lump in her throat and regain her composure. During the lively conversation that followed, in which Dr. Stewart played a major role, she sat weaving her delicate fingers through the white tablecloth, repeatedly telling herself, "Ten years, and he never bothered to find out if I was alive or dead."
When tea was over she moved away from him, and took refuge beside Miss Cosie and her knitting. He would amuse himself with the younger ones of course. She had noticed already that Cathy had seemed to interest him with her frank liveliness, and then there were Langley and Queenie. Queenie was looking so pretty this evening, with those deep-colored roses in her dark dress. If only she could sit quiet in her corner, and watch him unobserved! It was hard work finding appropriate answers to Miss Cosie's somewhat rambling remarks.
When tea was finished, she moved away from him and took refuge next to Miss Cosie and her knitting. He would entertain himself with the younger ones, of course. She had already noticed that Cathy seemed to catch his attention with her open liveliness, and then there were Langley and Queenie. Queenie looked so lovely tonight, with those deep-colored roses in her dark dress. If only she could sit quietly in her corner and watch him without being noticed! It was a challenge to come up with suitable responses to Miss Cosie's somewhat meandering comments.
"Of course he will take a fancy to one of them," she thought, taking advantage of a pause during which Miss Cosie counted her stitches, and quite ignoring the fact that there might possibly be a Mrs. Stewart somewhere. "I wonder which it will be. Queenie Marriott is far prettier to my taste, her eyes are lovely; but then Cathy is very taking. Men of forty generally fall in love with young girls; and then he is such a young-looking man, and does not look his age," and Faith sighed as she thought of her faded youth.
"Of course he’s going to like one of them," she thought, taking advantage of a pause while Miss Cosie counted her stitches, completely ignoring the possibility of a Mrs. Stewart existing somewhere. "I wonder which one it will be. Queenie Marriott is way prettier in my opinion, her eyes are beautiful; but then Cathy has her charm. Men in their forties usually fall for younger women; plus, he looks so young and doesn’t seem his age," and Faith sighed as she thought about her fading youth.
"Did you speak, my dear?" asked Miss Cosie, at this point. "Knit one, purl two, and knit two together. There, there, I am a stupid companion. Why don't you go and join that merry party opposite? Look at Kit; how delighted he seems with the doctor."
"Did you say something, my dear?" asked Miss Cosie, at this point. "Knit one, purl two, and knit two together. There, there, I'm such a dull companion. Why don't you go and join that cheerful group over there? Look at Kit; he seems so happy with the doctor."
"Miss Cosie," stammered Faith, "did he—did Dr. Stewart say anything about his being married. He did not mention his wife, I mean. Cathy was wondering, and, and——"
"Miss Cosie," stammered Faith, "did he—did Dr. Stewart say anything about being married? He didn't mention his wife, I mean. Cathy was curious, and, and——"
"Married! why, to be sure, how stupid of us! I never thought of such a thing for a moment. Of course he must be; and not one of us has asked after her," and the little woman patted her big curls in a flurried manner. "Kit, Kit, my dear," in a loud whisper, "do tell Dr. Stewart that I want to speak to him."
"Married! Oh my, how foolish of us! I never even considered that for a second. Of course, he must be; and none of us has asked about her," the little woman said, fussing with her big curls in a flustered way. "Kit, Kit, my dear," she whispered loudly, "please tell Dr. Stewart that I need to talk to him."
"Oh, Miss Cosie, pray don't. How can you think of doing such a thing?" exclaimed Faith, in a perfect agony at this unexpected proceeding. "He is such a stranger. What will he think of us?" But her protestations were in vain, for Dr. Stewart had left his place with alacrity, and had come up to them with the brightest possible face.
"Oh, Miss Cosie, please don’t. How could you even consider doing something like that?" Faith exclaimed, utterly distressed by this surprise move. "He’s such a stranger. What will he think of us?" But her protests were pointless, as Dr. Stewart had eagerly left his spot and approached them with the biggest smile.
"Did you send for me, Miss Logan?"
"Did you call for me, Miss Logan?"
"Dear, dear, to think of that, when I have not been called Miss Logan for the last twenty years. Why even the Bishop says Miss Cosie; but then, as Faith says, you are a stranger among us, and don't know our manners."
"Wow, it's hard to believe that, considering I haven't been called Miss Logan in the last twenty years. Even the Bishop calls me Miss Cosie; but, as Faith says, you're a newcomer here and don’t really know how we do things."
"Did Miss Faith say that? Well, I shall hope not to be a stranger long. I will promise not to offend again, Miss Cosie."
"Did Miss Faith really say that? Well, I hope I won’t be a stranger for too long. I promise I won’t offend you again, Miss Cosie."
"There, there, my dear, if he has not got it as pat as possible, as though he had known me all my life. Why even the school-children, bless their little hearts, call me Miss Cosie; I don't know myself under any other name. But talking of names, Dr. Stewart, and you have a nice funny, outlandish one of your own, here we have been together for two whole hours and not one of us has asked after Mrs. Stewart."
"There, there, my dear, he knows me as well as if we’ve been friends forever. Even the school kids, bless their little hearts, call me Miss Cosie; I don’t recognize myself by any other name. But speaking of names, Dr. Stewart, you have quite a unique one yourself. We’ve been hanging out for two whole hours, and not one of us has asked about Mrs. Stewart."
"My mother is dead, Miss Cosie," he replied, very gravely, while Faith flushed and grew white, and wished herself home again with Cara. It was too dreadful of Miss Cosie. What would he think of them?
"My mom is dead, Miss Cosie," he said seriously, while Faith turned red and then pale, wishing she was back home with Cara. It was just too awful of Miss Cosie. What would he think of them?
"Poor thing! well, well, she is better off," returned his sympathizing questioner; "she is where the weary are at rest, you know, one must think of that. But I was not speaking of your poor dear mother, Dr. Stewart, but of your wife."
"Poor thing! Well, she’s better off," replied his sympathetic questioner. "She’s in a place where the weary can finally rest, you know, we have to think about that. But I wasn’t talking about your poor dear mother, Dr. Stewart, I was talking about your wife."
For a moment Dr. Stewart looked at her in some perplexity, and then he got red, and glanced at Faith; but Faith had taken possession of Miss Cosie's knitting, and was doing her best to reduce it to hopeless and intricate confusion, and then a decidedly amused expression crossed his face.
For a moment, Dr. Stewart looked at her, somewhat confused, and then he turned red and glanced at Faith; but Faith had grabbed Miss Cosie's knitting and was doing her best to turn it into a hopeless mess, which brought a clear amused expression to his face.
"What makes you saddle me with a wife, Miss Cosie?"
"What makes you put a wife on me, Miss Cosie?"
"There, there, you must not take it amiss of us," returned the little woman earnestly, laying her hand on his arm. "Of course we shall be glad to know her; and if there is anything that I can do to make her more comfortable when the poor thing comes amongst us a stranger, I will do it with all my heart."
"There, there, you shouldn’t take offense at what we said," the little woman replied genuinely, placing her hand on his arm. "Of course we’ll be happy to meet her, and if there’s anything I can do to help her feel more comfortable as she joins us as a stranger, I’ll do it with all my heart."
"But, my dear Miss Cosie," with a smile, "I have no wife."
"But, my dear Miss Cosie," he said with a smile, "I don't have a wife."
"No wife!" and Miss Cosie's eyes grew round, and she threw up her plump little hands in astonishment; "no wife! do you mean she is dead too, Dr. Stewart?"
"No wife!" Miss Cosie's eyes widened, and she threw up her chubby little hands in surprise. "No wife! Are you saying she’s dead too, Dr. Stewart?"
"I mean that I never had one," laughing now outright. "Don't you know poor men have no right to such luxuries? When one has a mother and a sister to maintain, one must put away those sort of thoughts, however much one is tempted," and Dr. Stewart spoke now in a curiously constrained voice.
"I mean that I've never had one," he laughed outright now. "Don’t you realize that poor people can’t afford such luxuries? When you have a mother and a sister to take care of, you have to set aside those kinds of thoughts, no matter how much you might want them," and Dr. Stewart spoke now in a strangely restrained voice.
"Miss Cosie, I must go home now, Cara will be looking for me," exclaimed Faith, rising hurriedly. There was a misty look in the soft blue eyes, and the color had returned to her face.
"Miss Cosie, I need to go home now; Cara will be looking for me," Faith exclaimed, standing up quickly. There was a misty look in her soft blue eyes, and color had returned to her face.
"May I take the right of an old friend, and come and see you and your sisters to-morrow," asked Dr. Stewart, as he held her hand. "May I come and talk to this Cara, of whom I have heard so much?"
"Can I take the liberty of an old friend and come see you and your sisters tomorrow?" Dr. Stewart asked as he held her hand. "Can I come and talk to this Cara I've heard so much about?"
"Yes; we shall be very glad," she replied, almost inaudibly, and then he let her go.
"Yes, we’ll be really happy," she said, almost whispering, and then he let her go.
He left Miss Cosie after that, and went back to the little group gathered round the window; but a change had come over them; they seemed talking seriously.
He left Miss Cosie after that and went back to the small group gathered around the window, but something had changed; they seemed to be talking seriously.
"Miss Catherine, are you in earnest?" Mr. Logan was saying, in an incredulous voice. He pushed his spectacles up to his forehead as he spoke, and the keen, near-sighted eyes seemed to probe the girl's soul as he spoke.
"Miss Catherine, are you serious?" Mr. Logan was saying, in disbelief. He pushed his glasses up to his forehead as he spoke, and his sharp, near-sighted eyes seemed to search the girl's soul as he talked.
Cathy winced, but she maintained her ground unflinchingly.
Cathy flinched, but she stood her ground without backing down.
"Ask Garth and Langley what they think on that subject."
"Ask Garth and Langley what they think about that topic."
"She is leading us a sad life about it," returned Garth, tilting his chair that he might have a better view of Queenie. Somehow the combination of the dark dress and roses took his fancy. Miss Marriott was certainly very pretty to-night; even Dr. Stewart seemed to find a certain witchery in the dark eyes, at least Garth thought so, which put him a trifle out of humor. He had been so long without a rival in Hepshaw, that the introduction of this sudden new element of manhood was likely to disturb his equanimity. "Langley says there are no valid objections, so I suppose we shall have to let her go."
"She’s making our lives miserable about it," Garth replied, tilting his chair for a better view of Queenie. Somehow, the mix of the dark dress and roses caught his eye. Miss Marriott looked especially pretty tonight; even Dr. Stewart seemed to be enchanted by her dark eyes, or at least that’s what Garth thought, which slightly annoyed him. He had been the only guy in Hepshaw for so long that this unexpected new competitor was likely to throw him off balance. "Langley says there are no real objections, so I guess we’ll have to let her go."
"Let us ask Dr. Stewart what he thinks of it," put in Langley, and, to her sister's relief, she quietly turned to him, and gave a brief sketch of Cathy's plan, to which he listened with ready interest, asking a question here and there in a skilful professional manner. When he was in possession of all the facts, he turned to Cathy.
"Let's ask Dr. Stewart for his opinion," Langley suggested, and, to her sister's relief, she calmly turned to him and gave a quick overview of Cathy's plan. He listened with keen interest, asking questions here and there in a thoughtful, professional way. Once he had all the details, he turned to Cathy.
"I don't see why it should not answer; at least you might give it a trial. I like your idea of every woman being trained to a definite employment; I never could understand the enforced helplessness of the sex. I have known pitiable examples of women being left dependent on over-taxed brothers, or turned upon the world absolutely without resources."
"I don't see why it shouldn't respond; at least you could give it a try. I like your idea of every woman being trained for a specific job; I could never understand the forced helplessness of women. I've seen sad cases of women being left dependent on overwhelmed brothers, or sent out into the world completely unprepared."
"Your rule holds good with generalities, but in Miss Catherine's case," began Mr. Logan, but Cathy somewhat proudly interrupted him.
"Your rule applies to general cases, but in Miss Catherine's situation," started Mr. Logan, but Cathy interrupted him with some pride.
"If it be Miss Catherine's wish to be independent, and hold her own against the world, no one has a right to interfere. No," speaking with sparkling eyes, and a certain storminess of manner, "I am not one of those women who could bear to be cramped and swathed with the swaddling-clothes of conventionality; I claim my right to work for work's sake, and to be as free as any other of God's creatures."
"If Miss Catherine wants to be independent and stand up for herself in the world, no one has the right to interfere. No," she said, her eyes sparkling and her tone a bit intense, "I’m not one of those women who can tolerate being restricted and wrapped up in the constraints of convention; I demand my right to work for the sake of work and to be as free as any other of God's creations."
"You are quite right, Miss Clayton; I admire your sentiments," observed Dr. Stewart.
"You’re absolutely right, Miss Clayton; I appreciate your feelings," Dr. Stewart remarked.
"Hear, hear," from Garth, somewhat sarcastically. He did not wholly approve of his wilful little sister's plan. "Bless me, child, you are hardly more than eighteen; you seem in a vast hurry to make yourself independent of your brother; no one wants to get rid of you, you little monkey."
"Hear, hear," said Garth, a bit sarcastically. He didn't completely agree with his headstrong little sister's plan. "Bless you, kid, you're barely eighteen; you seem really eager to make yourself independent from your brother; no one is trying to get rid of you, you little monkey."
Cathy melted a little at that. She gave him an affectionate glance.
Cathy softened a bit at that. She gave him a tender look.
"All the same, you will be wanting to get rid of me one of these days," she returned, meaningly, and Garth reddened. "Besides, I don't mean to leave home for good and all; I want to go up to London and learn nursing in all its branches, and then I shall know if I am fit for it. A fair trial is all I ask; and if Garth consents, no one has a right to raise an objection," in an injured, appealing voice.
"Still, you'll want to get rid of me one of these days," she said with a significant look, and Garth blushed. "Also, I don’t plan to leave home permanently; I want to go to London and learn nursing in all its aspects, and then I’ll know if I’m cut out for it. A fair chance is all I ask; and if Garth agrees, no one has the right to object," she said, sounding hurt and appealing.
"You have chosen a noble profession," began Dr. Stewart warmly, but Mr. Logan quietly interrupted him.
"You've chosen a noble profession," Dr. Stewart said warmly, but Mr. Logan quietly interrupted him.
"Granted, my dear sir, provided the motives are equally noble."
"Sure, my dear sir, as long as the motives are equally noble."
"Now, Cath, you are going to catch it from your Mentor," observed her brother in an amused tone. "Mr. Logan has discovered a flaw in your grand scheme."
"Now, Cath, you're going to get it from your Mentor," her brother said with a laugh. "Mr. Logan found a flaw in your big plan."
"I suppose one can discover flaws in everything," returned the Vicar in a musing tone. "Youth is the time for great projects; sometimes they are another name for restlessness and discontent. Youth lights a candle,—a farthing dip-light sometimes,—and sets out through the world to look for duties, and leaves the hearth-stone cold, and old hearts growing chill round it. I have an old-fashioned notion, that woman's mission, in its perfectness, very rarely lies beyond the threshold of home."
"I guess you can find faults in everything," replied the Vicar thoughtfully. "Youth is a time for grand ambitions; sometimes they’re just another way of expressing restlessness and dissatisfaction. Youth lights a candle—sometimes just a cheap one—and sets out into the world searching for responsibilities, leaving the home fires cold and the hearts of the old growing dim around it. I have an old-fashioned belief that a woman's true purpose, in its fullest form, rarely exists outside the home."
"How about Florence Nightingale?" interrupted Cathy.
"How about Florence Nightingale?" Cathy interrupted.
"Or Sarah Judson?" from Langley.
"Or Sarah Judson?" from Langley.
"Or Mrs. Fry? or Joan of Arc?" commented Dr. Stewart.
"Or Mrs. Fry? Or Joan of Arc?" Dr. Stewart remarked.
"Or we might add Grace Darling, and a score of others," put in Garth.
"Or we could include Grace Darling and a bunch of others," Garth added.
"All typical women, raised up in their generation to perform a certain work, and performing it right nobly. The world calls them heroines, and with reason. They are heroines in the true sense of the word, for they have discovered the needs of the world, and, recognizing their own power to remedy, have fearlessly dared to cross the threshold of home duty for the larger arena, where only the strong prevail and the weak go to the wall."
"All the typical women of their time were brought up to do a specific job, and they did it beautifully. The world calls them heroines, and rightly so. They are heroines in every sense of the word because they recognized the world's needs and, realizing their ability to help, bravely stepped beyond their home responsibilities into a larger field, where only the strong succeed and the weak are left behind."
"Cathy does not pretend to be a Florence Nightingale," put in Langley, quietly.
"Cathy doesn't pretend to be a Florence Nightingale," Langley said quietly.
"I thought you always told us to elevate our standard?" a little defiantly, from Cathy.
"I thought you always told us to raise our standards?" Cathy said a bit defiantly.
"The higher the better," with a benign glance at her; "but it must be a true standard, unselfishness and self-sacrifice for its base, and built up of pure motives. If it be one-sided it will topple over."
"The higher, the better," he said with a kind look at her; "but it has to be a true standard, grounded in unselfishness and self-sacrifice, and built on pure motives. If it’s one-sided, it will fall apart."
"Ah! I can't read parables," rather crossly.
"Ugh! I can't read parables," she said a bit annoyed.
"Are you sure that you are really trying to read mine? You remind me of some little child, Miss Catherine, gathering shells by the sea-shore, and throwing all the pearls away. If you look far enough into the meanings of things you will perceive their value. About your plan, now?"
"Are you sure you’re actually trying to read mine? You remind me of a little kid, Miss Catherine, collecting shells by the shore and tossing all the pearls aside. If you look deep enough into the meanings of things, you’ll see their value. So, what about your plan now?"
"I will not hear a word against it," she returned wilfully, and going over to Miss Cosie. "It is bad enough to have to argue with all one's home people; but to be lectured in public, and before Dr. Stewart—no, indeed, Mr. Logan."
"I won't listen to a word against it," she replied stubbornly, moving over to Miss Cosie. "It's bad enough to argue with my own family; but being lectured in public, especially in front of Dr. Stewart—no way, Mr. Logan."
"Very well, I will reserve what I have to say in private," he returned, looking after her with a sort of indulgent tenderness, as though she were the little child to whom he had compared her; and Queenie, who was near him, saw a certain vivid brightness in his eyes as he watched her.
"Alright, I'll keep what I have to say to myself," he replied, watching her with a kind of gentle affection, as if she were the little girl he had compared her to; and Queenie, who was close by, noticed a certain spark in his eyes as he observed her.
The circle broke up after this; but, though it was tolerably late for Hepshaw hours, they did not yet talk of separating. It was a lovely moonlight night, and, at Garth's invitation, Queenie strolled with him up and down the Vicar's steep, narrow garden. Dr. Stewart joined them, and talked for some time about his Indian experiences.
The group started to break up after that; but even though it was pretty late for Hepshaw, they weren’t ready to call it a night just yet. It was a beautiful moonlit night, and, at Garth's invitation, Queenie walked with him up and down the Vicar's steep, narrow garden. Dr. Stewart joined them and shared stories about his experiences in India for a while.
They were both novel and interesting, and engrossed them wholly. Queenie was so fascinated by his description of Indian scenery that she with difficulty remembered the lateness of the hour, and that Langley and Cathy would be wondering at her absence; but she at last made an excuse to leave them.
They were both new and interesting, completely capturing their attention. Queenie was so captivated by his description of the Indian landscape that she struggled to remember how late it was and that Langley and Cathy would be wondering where she was; but eventually, she came up with an excuse to leave them.
She lingered for a moment under the shadow of the house to watch the two dark figures still pacing up and down the steep path. This evening's excitement had quickened her pulses. The arrival of the stranger, Miss Faith's repressed agitation at the sight of him, Cathy's strange restlessness and plan for leaving home, had disturbed the even current of events. The moral air seemed charged with electricity and rife with disturbance; somewhere a storm seemed impending. This sense of movement, of vitality, was not unpleasant; youth dreads nothing more than monotony. It is only in age that one sits with folded hands expecting nothing. Garth's manner, too, had given her pleasure; it had been more than usually friendly. There had been appreciation in his glance, a certain cordiality in his tone, that had fallen pleasantly on her ear. "If he will only remain my friend I shall envy no girl her lover," thought Queenie, with a sudden fulness of heart; but at that moment she was startled from her reverie by the sound of voices in the dark entry behind her.
She paused for a moment under the shadow of the house to watch the two dark figures still pacing back and forth on the steep path. The excitement of the evening had quickened her pulse. The arrival of the stranger, Miss Faith's suppressed agitation at seeing him, Cathy's strange restlessness and plans to leave home had disrupted the usual flow of events. The atmosphere felt charged with tension and unrest; somewhere a storm seemed to be brewing. This sense of movement and energy was not unpleasant; youth fears nothing more than boredom. Only in old age does one sit with folded hands, expecting nothing. Garth's behavior, too, had pleased her; he had been unusually friendly. There had been appreciation in his gaze, a certain warmth in his tone, that had sounded pleasant to her ears. "If he will just stay my friend, I won't envy any girl her boyfriend," thought Queenie, with a sudden surge of emotion; but at that moment she was jolted from her thoughts by the sound of voices in the dark entrance behind her.
She could hear Mr. Logan's quiet tones, and yes, surely that voice answering him was Cathy's! Before she could free herself a sentence or two reached her ear.
She could hear Mr. Logan's soft voice, and yes, that voice responding to him was definitely Cathy’s! Before she could pull herself away, a sentence or two made it to her ears.
"You will think over what I have said, my child? You will be good and give up this, to please me?"
"You'll think about what I've said, right, my child? You'll be kind and let this go, just to make me happy?"
"No, no," returned the girl passionately, and the low, vehement tones gave Queenie a shock, for they were broken as though with weeping; "you must let me go. I will not stay and make you wretched, as I know I should do."
"No, no," the girl replied passionately, and her low, intense voice shocked Queenie, as it trembled like someone who had been crying; "you have to let me go. I won't stay and make you unhappy, because I know I would."
"You would make me very happy, Catherine."
"You would make me really happy, Catherine."
"No, indeed, Mr. Logan, you are too great, too high for me; I cannot reach to you. I should tire myself and you with my efforts to be good. Oh, you must let me go! I must be free! indeed, indeed, I must be free!"
"No, really, Mr. Logan, you’re too amazing, too out of my league; I can’t reach you. I would just exhaust myself and you with my attempts to be good. Oh, you have to let me go! I need to be free! Really, I need to be free!"
"Then go, my wild bird, and take my blessing with you; only—" but here the tones were too low to be distinguished; only as Queenie moved away a figure brushed past her, and glided down the garden path.
"Then go, my wild bird, and take my blessing with you; only—" but here the voice was too quiet to understand; just as Queenie walked away, a figure brushed by her and slipped down the garden path.
It was Cathy.
It was Cathy.
CHAPTER XI.
NEXT DOOR TO THE EVERGREENS.
"Even her little mirror
Bore witness to the change;
For to love the face within it
Was something; new and strange.
She had looked before and seen it
So thin and hard and grey;
Looked, that her hair and collar
Were smooth and in trim array."
Isa Craig-Knox.
"Even her small mirror
Saw the change;
For loving the face in it
Was something new and unusual.
She had looked before and seen it
So thin and tough and gray;
Looked, so that her hair and collar
Were neat and well arranged."
Isa Craig-Knox.
"Cara, Dr. Stewart has come to see you."
"Cara, Dr. Stewart is here to see you."
It was Faith who spoke. It was the afternoon after Miss Cosie's tea party, and she had met her old acquaintance down the village and had brought him in at his solicitation to see her sisters. Matters were not quite satisfactory to-day. Faith had had a sleepless night after her excitement, and a racking headache had been the consequence. And Miss Charity had been in one of her trying moods. A fresh access of pain made her exacting and irritable. Faith's nervousness and pale looks met with scant sympathy. "If you were not quite so fond of gadding about and leaving other people to do your work you would not be so tired," was the severe comment; the truth being, that poor Miss Charity was having a bad time of it, and had missed Faith's soft voice and gentle manipulations.
It was Faith who spoke. It was the afternoon after Miss Cosie's tea party, and she had run into her old friend in the village and brought him in at his request to see her sisters. Things weren't going too well today. Faith had tossed and turned all night after her excitement, and as a result, she had a pounding headache. And Miss Charity was in one of her difficult moods. A new wave of pain made her demanding and irritable. Faith's nervousness and pale appearance received little sympathy. "If you weren't so fond of wandering around and leaving others to do your work, you wouldn't be so tired," was the harsh comment; the truth was that poor Miss Charity was struggling and missed Faith's soft voice and gentle touch.
It did not improve matters when Miss Hope came to the rescue, and took the book out of her sister's unwilling hands. "There, Faith, run along and put on your bonnet and get some air; I will read to Charity," she said, in her brusque, kindly way, and settled herself vigorously to her task; and Faith, who knew how Cara hated Hope's reading, hesitated and lingered, and then finally yielded to the temptation of the fresh air and sunshine.
It didn't help when Miss Hope stepped in and took the book from her sister's reluctant hands. "There you go, Faith, go put on your hat and get some fresh air; I'll read to Charity," she said in her straightforward, caring way, and got to work. Faith, knowing how Cara disliked Hope's reading, hesitated and lingered but eventually gave in to the allure of the fresh air and sunshine.
It was a little trying that at this moment she should meet Dr. Stewart.
It was a bit challenging that she had to run into Dr. Stewart at that moment.
At thirty-five a sleepless night is no beautifier, one lacks youth's cosmetiques then. Faith knew her heavy half-extinguished eyes had black rings round them. The face under the close little Quaker bonnet looked older and more worn than it had last night.
At thirty-five, a sleepless night doesn’t do you any favors; you miss the beauty tricks of youth. Faith realized her tired, half-closed eyes had dark circles around them. The face under the snug little Quaker bonnet looked older and more worn than it had the night before.
"How do you do, Miss Faith? we can see each other more clearly than we could last evening. Well, we have neither of us grown younger," and Dr. Stewart scrutinized his pale companion with the utmost composure.
"How are you, Miss Faith? We can see each other more clearly than we could last night. Well, neither of us has gotten any younger," and Dr. Stewart looked closely at his pale companion with complete calm.
Faith glanced at him rather timidly; his manner troubled her, it was more brusque, a little rougher than it used to be. The shy young doctor had seen the world since then. Dr. Stewart certainly looked a little different this afternoon. He was much older and stouter than she had thought him yesterday; his whiskers were iron-grey, and his face had a brown, weather-beaten aspect, and the lines round the mouth were a trifle hard and sarcastic. She could see him more clearly than in Miss Cosie's dim room.
Faith looked at him a bit nervously; his demeanor troubled her, it was more abrupt, a little rougher than before. The once-timid young doctor had experienced the world since then. Dr. Stewart definitely seemed a bit different this afternoon. He appeared much older and heavier than she had imagined yesterday; his facial hair was iron-gray, and his face had a brown, weathered look, with lines around his mouth that seemed somewhat harsh and sarcastic. She could see him more clearly than in Miss Cosie's dim room.
"You find me changed too, I dare say," he continued abruptly, reading her thoughts more shrewdly than of old. "You see I have knocked about the world for the last seven or eight years, and that makes a man old before his time."
"You see I've changed too, I guess," he said suddenly, reading her thoughts more clearly than before. "I've been out in the world for the last seven or eight years, and that can make a person grow up faster than they should."
"I don't think you look particularly old, Dr. Stewart."
"I don't think you look that old, Dr. Stewart."
"Well, forty is not exactly patriarchal," somewhat sarcastically. "On the whole I think I am rather proud of my grey hairs, they make me more important. You ought to have kept younger, Miss Faith, leading this quiet pastoral life of yours; you have not had all the hard hits and thumps that fate has dealt me."
"Well, forty isn’t really that old," she said somewhat sarcastically. "Honestly, I’m pretty proud of my grey hairs; they make me feel more distinguished. You should have stayed younger, Miss Faith, living this calm pastoral life of yours; you haven’t faced all the tough challenges that fate has thrown at me."
"I think inaction is sometimes more trying," she answered faintly, for this absence of sympathy fretted her; and just then they met Cathy walking down the road with free easy gait, and carrying a basket of poppies and wild flowers. She nodded to them hurriedly and passed on. Dr. Stewart looked after her.
"I think doing nothing can be tougher sometimes," she replied quietly, as this lack of sympathy bothered her; and just then, they saw Cathy walking down the road with a relaxed, casual stride, carrying a basket of poppies and wildflowers. She gave them a quick nod and moved on. Dr. Stewart watched her as she went.
"That is a fine girl with a fine character, I will be bound," he said, "but I think I admire Miss Marriott more; I like her soft brunette coloring, and then she has such splendid eyes. Is that fine fellow, young Clayton, rather smitten with her?"
"That’s a great girl with a great personality, I bet," he said, "but I think I like Miss Marriott more; I love her soft brunette coloring, and she has such amazing eyes. Is that handsome guy, young Clayton, a bit taken with her?"
"I think, I am almost sure, that he cares for some one else; at least, one never knows," putting up her hand to her head.
"I think, I'm pretty sure, that he cares about someone else; at least, you can never be certain," she said, raising her hand to her head.
"No, one never knows; there is a fate in these things, I believe. That elder Miss Clayton looks very worn, a story there I expect; most unmarried women have had their story,—one can read it in their faces,—and men too, for that matter. There is a skeleton in every one's cupboard they say. At forty we begin to wonder if life's worth having after all. Well, well, you have a headache, I see; this sunshine is making it worse. If you will allow me I will see you home and call on your sisters."
"No, you never know; there's fate in these matters, I believe. That older Miss Clayton looks really tired; I bet there’s a story behind that. Most unmarried women have a story—it's written on their faces—and men do too, for that matter. They say there’s a skeleton in everyone’s closet. By the time we hit forty, we start to question if life is even worth it after all. Well, I see you have a headache; this sunshine is making it worse. If you don’t mind, I can walk you home and check in on your sisters."
"They are all at home; they will be very glad to see you," she stammered, but her heart sank within her.
"They're all at home; they'll be really happy to see you," she stammered, but her heart sank.
It was one of Cara's bad days, she might not receive him graciously; and then what would Dr. Stewart think of their humble little household? She was absent and nervous all the rest of the way. No wonder he found her changed.
It was one of Cara's bad days; she might not welcome him warmly, and then what would Dr. Stewart think of their simple little home? She was distracted and anxious for the rest of the trip. It's no surprise he noticed she was different.
"Cara, Dr. Stewart has come to see you," she said, in a deprecating voice, as though she were committing some solecism.
"Cara, Dr. Stewart is here to see you," she said, in a hesitant voice, as if she were making some kind of mistake.
Miss Hope put down her book with a start, and Miss Charity looked up sharply from her knitting. "Whom did you say, Faith?" in an inflexible voice.
Miss Hope put down her book with a jolt, and Miss Charity looked up quickly from her knitting. "Who did you say, Faith?" she asked in a firm voice.
"An old hospital friend of hers, one of ten years' standing," observed Dr. Stewart, throwing himself into the breach with military promptness. In a moment he recognized the position; his shrewd, observant glance took in the little parlor and the occupants in a trice.
"An old hospital friend of hers, someone she's known for ten years," Dr. Stewart noted, jumping in without hesitation. In no time, he grasped the situation; his sharp, perceptive gaze quickly took in the small parlor and its occupants.
It was not a very attractive scene to a man of the world; the details were homely and uninteresting. The bay window with its geraniums and fuchsias; the sharp little bright-eyed woman with her high cheek-bones and thin curls; Miss Hope, vigorous and loud-voiced; and Miss Prudence's ungainly figure hovering in the background. Faith, with her pale face and grey dress, looked like a soft speck of shadow in the sunlight. Dr. Stewart's masculine breadth and freedom of movement seemed to fill up the little room.
It wasn’t an appealing scene for a worldly man; the details were plain and dull. The bay window with its geraniums and fuchsias; the sharp little bright-eyed woman with her high cheekbones and thin curls; Miss Hope, energetic and loud; and Miss Prudence’s awkward figure lingering in the background. Faith, with her pale face and gray dress, appeared as a delicate shadow in the sunlight. Dr. Stewart's masculine presence and ease of movement seemed to dominate the small room.
"Dr. Stewart! have we ever heard of him, sister?" asked Miss Charity, a little sarcastically, and appealing to Miss Hope.
"Dr. Stewart! Have we ever heard of him, sis?" asked Miss Charity, a bit sarcastically, turning to Miss Hope.
"If you have I dare say you have forgotten it; ten years is a long time for ladies' memories. I was house-surgeon in the hospital at Carlisle, where your sister worked."
"If you have, I bet you've forgotten it; ten years is a long time for women's memories. I was the house surgeon at the hospital in Carlisle, where your sister worked."
"Humph!" responded Miss Charity, dryly.
"Humph!" replied Miss Charity, dryly.
Dr. Stewart's eyes twinkled at the sight of Faith's despondent face; he was quite master of the position. Miss Charity's cool reception did not daunt him in the least. He placed himself leisurely by the side of the little square couch, and eyed its occupant curiously; he turned over the books that were piled on the narrow table beside her, and read their titles one after another, and then he began to talk. How he talked! Faith's downcast face brightened; after a time she became less nervous. Dr. Stewart did not address himself to her, he seemed to ignore her existence completely. He talked to Charity, who let her knitting fall out of her hot, dry fingers as she listened; to Miss Hope, sitting there erect and open-eyed; even to poor, grim Miss Prudence, to whom few people talked. Faith raised her soft eyes every now and then in surprise; she had no idea Dr. Stewart was such a clever, well-read man; his brusqueness did not jar on her now. To judge by his conversation he might have read half the books that were written. He swallowed up Miss Charity's little modicum of information in a moment, and left her high and dry, with all her long sentences unsaid. Miss Hope gasped and said, "There, now, would you have believed it!" to the stock of choice anecdotes with which he regaled them. Never were four maiden ladies so well entertained on a summer's afternoon.
Dr. Stewart's eyes sparkled when he saw Faith's sad face; he was completely in control of the situation. Miss Charity's unwelcoming attitude didn't bother him at all. He casually settled next to the small square couch and examined its occupant with curiosity; he flipped through the books piled on the narrow table beside her, reading their titles one by one, and then he started to chat. And how he chatted! Faith's gloomy expression brightened; after a while, she became less anxious. Dr. Stewart didn't direct his conversation at her; it was as if he completely ignored her. He talked to Charity, who let her knitting slip from her hot, dry fingers as she listened; to Miss Hope, who sat there upright and wide-eyed; even to poor, stern Miss Prudence, whom few people engaged with. Faith occasionally raised her gentle eyes in surprise; she had no idea Dr. Stewart was such an intelligent, well-read guy; his directness didn’t bother her anymore. If judged by his conversation, he might have read half the books ever written. He quickly overshadowed Miss Charity’s small amount of information and left her hanging with all her long-winded sentences unspoken. Miss Hope gasped and exclaimed, "Can you believe it!" at the collection of amazing stories he shared with them. Never had four unmarried ladies been so thoroughly entertained on a summer afternoon.
Even Miss Prudence, the most rigid of housekeepers, counted over her scanty store of preserves mentally, and decided to ask him to tea. Faith almost held her breath for the next moment; but Dr. Stewart accepted the invitation with alacrity. While the tea was brewing and Miss Prudence hunted out a remnant of rich cake, he drew his chair a little closer to Miss Charity, and questioned her somewhat minutely on the subject of her accident.
Even Miss Prudence, the strictest of housekeepers, mentally counted her few jars of preserves and decided to invite him for tea. Faith nearly held her breath in anticipation; but Dr. Stewart accepted the invitation eagerly. While the tea was brewing and Miss Prudence searched for a leftover slice of rich cake, he moved his chair a bit closer to Miss Charity and asked her in detail about her accident.
"You suffer, of course, a great deal? It is a complicated case, I fear."
"You’re really struggling, aren’t you? It’s a complicated situation, I’m afraid."
"Yes; I have had my share of pain," she answered cheerfully. The sharp angles had relaxed now.
"Yeah, I've had my share of pain," she replied with a smile. The sharp angles had softened now.
"And your prospect of ease is small?"
"And is your chance of relaxation very low?"
"Ah, well! it might be worse," she returned resignedly; and somehow the restless bright eyes and thin ringlets were less repellant to him. "I have bad times and good times, and have to lie here and make the best of it. We need to have broken wills, Dr. Stewart."
"Well, it could be worse," she replied with a sense of resignation; and somehow the restless bright eyes and thin ringlets seemed less off-putting to him. "I have my ups and downs, and I just have to lie here and make the most of it. We need to learn to let go of our stubbornness, Dr. Stewart."
"Cara is so very patient," interposed Faith, leaning over her sister's couch.
"Cara is really patient," Faith said, leaning over her sister's couch.
Miss Charity gave her an odd little push.
Miss Charity gave her a strange little shove.
"No; I am dreadfully cross, and give heaps of trouble. One's pain gets into one's temper. Faith's been a good girl to me all these years; I don't know what I should have done without her."
"No; I’m really upset, and I cause a lot of trouble. Pain affects my mood. Faith has been a great support to me all these years; I don’t know what I would have done without her."
"Oh, Cara! please don't speak so," whispered poor Faith with tears in her eyes.
"Oh, Cara! Please don't say that," whispered poor Faith with tears in her eyes.
It was Dr. Stewart who said "Humph!" now. He glanced curiously at the two women before him. Faith was considered quite a girl still by her sisters.
It was Dr. Stewart who said "Humph!" now. He looked curiously at the two women in front of him. Faith was still seen as quite a girl by her sisters.
"I have a temper myself; I believe every one has, though he or she will not always own to it," he remarked coolly, as he placed himself by Miss Prudence, and helped himself liberally to seed cake.
"I have a temper too; I think everyone does, even if they won't admit it," he said calmly, as he sat down next to Miss Prudence and took a generous helping of seed cake.
It was getting quite dark when he rose at last to take leave. Faith accompanied him to the door.
It was getting pretty dark when he finally got up to say goodbye. Faith walked him to the door.
"Well, is your headache better? you are not quite so pale," he asked, not unkindly, as they stood together.
"Well, is your headache any better? You don't look as pale," he asked, not unkindly, as they stood together.
"Yes; the walk and the tea has done it good," she answered evasively. What if he should guess at her sleepless night?
"Yeah, the walk and the tea really helped," she replied vaguely. What if he figured out she hadn't slept all night?
"I hoped I should have come in for a compliment, and that my conversation might have helped to charm it away. You used not to be so matter-of-fact, Miss Faith."
"I hoped I'd get a compliment, and that my conversation might have helped to lighten the mood. You weren't always so serious, Miss Faith."
Such a rush of color answered him. "I wonder you recollect so long ago," she returned somewhat unsteadily.
Such a burst of color responded to him. "I’m surprised you remember all the way back then," she replied a bit uncertainly.
"I wonder at it myself. Perhaps you have helped to jog my memory. Well, well, we were young and foolish once. So this has been your life for the last ten years?"
"I wonder about it myself. Maybe you’ve helped me remember. Well, well, we were young and reckless once. So, is this what your life has been like for the last ten years?"
"Yes; just this, and nothing else," with a sigh.
"Yeah; just this, and nothing more," with a sigh.
"No wonder you are thin, and have forgotten how to smile. Ten years of this sort of thing! Well, you women beat us after all;" and then he turned on his heel and went down the little garden path bordered by Faith's roses.
"No wonder you're so thin and have forgotten how to smile. Ten years of this kind of thing! Well, you women really outdo us after all;" and then he turned on his heel and went down the small garden path lined with Faith's roses.
In a very little while Dr. Stewart took up his position in Hepshaw, and buckled to his work in a stout, uncompromising manner that seemed natural to him. From his patients he reaped golden opinions, in spite of a deeply-rooted dislike of humbug, and a tendency to shrug his shoulders impatiently over feminine fads and fancies. He was soon a general favorite. He was prompt and kind-hearted; in cases of real suffering nothing could exceed his patience and watchfulness. People soon got over his little brusqueness, and said openly that Dr. Stewart was a real acquisition to the neighborhood.
In a short time, Dr. Stewart settled into his role in Hepshaw and got down to work in a strong, no-nonsense way that felt natural to him. His patients quickly appreciated him, despite his strong dislike for nonsense and a tendency to roll his eyes at women’s quirks and trends. He soon became a favorite among the community. He was quick and compassionate; in situations of real suffering, nothing matched his patience and attentiveness. People soon overlooked his slight brusqueness and openly expressed that Dr. Stewart was a real asset to the neighborhood.
He had taken temporary lodgings in the village; but report was already busy with the fact that Juniper Lodge, Dr. Morgan's old house, next door to the Misses Palmer, had been visited more than once by the new surgeon. By-and-bye suspicion became certainty, when painters and workmen arrived on the premises. Soon the forlorn exterior of Juniper Lodge began to wear a brighter look—the old green verandah was repainted, fresh papers and plenty of whitewash made the dark old rooms habitable, the evergreen shrubs were cut down or transplanted, the walks weeded and gravelled, a van-load of furniture made its appearance, and a tidy-looking woman with a pleasant Scotch face, answering to the name of Jean, took up her residence. The next day there was a brass plate up; and Dr. Stewart quietly walked into the Evergreens, and announced formally to the sisters that he was their next-door neighbor.
He had rented a place in the village temporarily, but word had already spread that Juniper Lodge, Dr. Morgan's old house next to the Misses Palmer, had been visited multiple times by the new surgeon. Eventually, suspicion turned into certainty when painters and workers showed up at the site. Soon, the dreary exterior of Juniper Lodge began to look brighter—the old green porch was repainted, fresh wallpaper and a lot of whitewash made the dark old rooms livable, the evergreen shrubs were trimmed or moved, the paths were cleared of weeds and graveled, a truckload of furniture arrived, and a neat-looking woman with a friendly Scottish face, named Jean, moved in. The next day, a brass plate appeared; and Dr. Stewart casually walked into the Evergreens and formally told the sisters that he was their next-door neighbor.
"And a very pleasant neighbor too," observed Miss Hope to her gossips; "so different to Dr. Morgan, with that slatternly housekeeper of his always down at heels and talking to the postman at the gate. That Jean must be a treasure; it is a treat to look at her caps and aprons. I have been all over the house, and you could eat your dinner off the floor, as the saying is. Dr. Stewart drops in to see us very often; it brightens Charity to have a good chat with him. They have fine long arguments sometimes, only he always gets the best of it. He makes a rare commotion when he comes, for he always pulls up the blinds and throws up the windows, though I tell him not to expose our shabby old carpet. He had Charity and her couch out on the lawn the other evening; just fancy! and the poor thing has never been out for years. She was so pleased and excited that we all had a cry over it, and then he scolded us all round."
"And a really nice neighbor too," Miss Hope said to her friends; "so different from Dr. Morgan, with that messy housekeeper of his always looking unkempt and chatting with the postman at the gate. That Jean must be a gem; it’s a delight to see her caps and aprons. I’ve been all over the house, and you could eat off the floor, as the saying goes. Dr. Stewart visits us quite often; it brightens Charity’s day to have a good talk with him. They have some intense debates sometimes, but he always wins. He makes quite a scene when he comes over, pulling up the blinds and opening the windows, even though I tell him not to expose our worn-out old carpet. He had Charity and her couch out on the lawn the other evening; can you imagine? And the poor thing hasn’t been outside in years. She was so happy and excited that we all ended up crying, and then he scolded us all."
It was quite true that the arrival of Dr. Stewart as their next-door neighbor made a great change in the little household at the Evergreens; the introduction of the masculine element diffused new life and activity. During his brief visits, for he seldom stayed long, it was wonderful how much Dr. Stewart contrived to effect. The close little parlor where Faith had toiled over weary books or sewn long seams by Cara's couch for ten monotonous years was a different place now. The obnoxious geraniums no longer blocked up the window, there was plenty of air and light; Faith no longer gasped with pale cheeks in the close oppressive atmosphere. On fine afternoons Miss Charity's couch was wheeled out under the apple-trees; the poor lady could watch the butterflies glancing round her, or the great brown bees humming round her neighbor's hive. Instead of Trench's 'Parables,' or D'Aubigné's 'Reformation,' suspicious green volumes in certain standard editions lay beside her. Faith had no need to stifle hardly-to-be-repressed yawns over Kingsley's 'Hypatia,' or 'Two Years Ago.' 'Laura Doone' and Black's 'Adventures of a Phaeton' held them enchained for hours.
It was definitely true that the arrival of Dr. Stewart as their neighbor changed things a lot in the little household at the Evergreens; his presence brought new energy and activity. During his short visits, since he rarely stayed long, it was surprising how much Dr. Stewart managed to accomplish. The small parlor where Faith had spent years poring over tiresome books or sewing long seams by Cara's couch felt completely different now. The annoying geraniums were no longer blocking the window, and there was plenty of fresh air and light; Faith no longer felt faint with pale cheeks in the stifling atmosphere. On nice afternoons, Miss Charity's couch was moved outside under the apple trees; the poor lady could watch the butterflies fluttering around her or the big brown bees buzzing near her neighbor's hive. Instead of Trench's 'Parables' or D'Aubigné's 'Reformation,' some intriguing green volumes from certain standard editions sat beside her. Faith didn’t have to hold back barely-repressed yawns over Kingsley's 'Hypatia' or 'Two Years Ago.' 'Laura Doone' and Black's 'Adventures of a Phaeton' captivated them for hours.
"I am afraid our tastes are demoralized, we are getting very lax and dissipated over our reading. It is very nice, but there is no method in it," sighed Miss Charity.
"I’m afraid our tastes have gotten worse; we’re becoming really lazy and indulgent with our reading. It’s nice, but there’s no structure to it," sighed Miss Charity.
"You have had solids for ten years, now your digestion needs a lighter form of nourishment; all work and no play dulls the brain as well as poor Jack," returned Dr. Stewart decidedly. He had come in for one of his brief, business-like visits; he was always dropping in somewhere, at the Vicarage, at Church-Stile House, at Elderberry Lodge, even at the Sycamores, where comely Mrs. Morris with her seven olive branches lived. He did not favor Brierwood Cottage often with his visits, but he constantly met Queenie going to and from her school, and walked beside her in animated conversation.
"You've been eating solid food for ten years; now your digestion needs something lighter. All work and no play dulls the brain just like poor Jack," Dr. Stewart said firmly. He had stopped by for one of his quick, business-like visits; he was always dropping in somewhere, whether it was the Vicarage, Church-Stile House, Elderberry Lodge, or even the Sycamores, where the attractive Mrs. Morris lived with her seven kids. He didn't visit Brierwood Cottage very often, but he frequently ran into Queenie on her way to and from school and walked alongside her, chatting animatedly.
Faith met them sometimes as she went about her charitable errands among the cottages; she would turn a little pale and pass on somewhat hurriedly. Dr. Stewart never stopped her on these occasions; he would go on with his talk, casting shrewd kindly glances under the girl's shady straw hat. Poor Faith would look at them wistfully, with a shy, deprecating smile; she would have a certain sinking of heart for hours afterwards. "He admires her, I knew he would," she would say to herself a little sadly.
Faith occasionally encountered them while she was doing her charitable work among the cottages; she would go a bit pale and move on quickly. Dr. Stewart never stopped her during these moments; he would continue his conversation, throwing thoughtful, kind looks under the girl's shady straw hat. Poor Faith would gaze at them yearningly, with a shy, modest smile; she would feel a sinking feeling in her heart for hours afterward. "He admires her, I knew he would," she would tell herself a little sadly.
Poor Miss Faith! it may be doubted if this revival of an old intimacy were a source of unalloyed pleasure. True, the changeless monotony of her days was broken up; but the new interest and excitement had their draw-backs.
Poor Miss Faith! It’s uncertain whether this rekindling of an old friendship brought her pure happiness. Sure, the endless routine of her days was disrupted; but the new interest and excitement came with their own downsides.
Time, after its usual kindly fashion, had to a certain extent healed her wound; the passionate yearning of ten years ago had merged into sad serenity. Faith treasured the remembrance of those few fleeting months, as women will treasure their one romance; those unfinished hopes and fears were buried tenderly in her breast. She had ceased to suffer, but she had not ceased to remember; the sacred impression had stamped her whole life.
Time, in its usual gentle way, had somewhat healed her pain; the intense longing from ten years ago had turned into a quiet sadness. Faith held on to the memory of those brief months, just as women often hold on to their one true love; those unfulfilled hopes and fears were lovingly tucked away in her heart. She had stopped suffering, but she hadn't stopped remembering; that meaningful experience had marked her entire life.
And now, when the freshness of youth had passed, she had met her ideal again; but was the girl's ideal likely to be the woman's reality? did she fully recognize in Dr. Stewart the dark young surgeon in that Carlisle hospital, whose soft looks and words had won her heart?
And now, when the freshness of youth had faded, she had run into her ideal again; but was the girl’s ideal going to be the woman’s reality? Did she truly see in Dr. Stewart the dark young surgeon from that Carlisle hospital, whose gentle looks and words had captured her heart?
Faith winced secretly at these questions, as she did at Dr. Stewart's brusque remarks. His experience, his knowledge of the world, his laxity and breadth of church views, daunted the simple woman; once or twice his roughness of argument hurt her.
Faith winced inwardly at these questions, just like she did at Dr. Stewart's blunt comments. His experience, his worldly knowledge, and his relaxed and broad church views intimidated the ordinary woman; every now and then, his harsh way of stating things stung her.
"Ah, I am a poor creature!" she said to him once. "I am not one of the clever ones, like you and Cara."
"Ah, I'm such a poor creature!" she said to him once. "I'm not one of the smart ones, like you and Cara."
"No; you are only so so, Miss Faith; your knowledge of the world is not in any way remarkable; you are not one of the strong-minded women," with a little dry chuckle, with which he would conclude his remarks.
"No; you're just okay, Miss Faith; your understanding of the world isn’t anything special; you’re not one of the strong-minded women," he said with a slight dry chuckle, which he used to wrap up his comments.
But, though he hurt and disappointed her, there were times when a sudden softening of voice or look brought back the past with strange vividness. Now and then he let fall a word that showed that he too had not forgotten, some chance allusion to old scenes, some memory of her tastes. "Ah, you used to like this, Miss Faith," or some such speech, that brought a flush of pleasure to her face.
But even though he hurt and disappointed her, there were moments when a sudden softness in his voice or gaze brought the past back with surprising clarity. Every now and then, he would say something that showed he hadn't forgotten either, a casual reference to old times, or a memory of what she liked. "Ah, you used to like this, Miss Faith," or something similar, that would bring a smile to her face.
Dr. Stewart looked very benign as he glanced at the homely group before him on the afternoon in question.
Dr. Stewart looked very kind as he glanced at the familiar group in front of him that afternoon.
"This is better than twenty feet by eighteen of stuffiness," he said in his concise way.
"This is better than twenty feet by eighteen of stuffiness," he said succinctly.
The sisterhood were all gathered on the lawn. Miss Charity's favorite—an enormous tabby—was purring underneath the old scarlet wrapper; Miss Hope's knitting-needles clicked busily; Miss Patience was occupied over some silk patch-work, the little squares and diamonds shone in the sunlight; Faith was reading aloud 'Westward Ho.' She put down the book with a bright, welcoming smile. The interest of the story had moved her, her eyes shone with soft, serious excitement; there was a scent of tall white lilies. Dr. Stewart's bees were humming noisily; a light wind stirred the long grass shadows; Miss Charity's curls were in disorder. Some fine white-heart cherries hung over Dr. Stewart's head; he commenced gathering some, "by way of dessert," he said coolly as he transferred them to his own pocket. "Why did they not call you Cherry, Miss Charity, instead of that affected Cara?"
The sisterhood was gathered on the lawn. Miss Charity's favorite—a huge tabby—was purring under the old scarlet wrapper; Miss Hope's knitting needles clicked busily; Miss Patience was busy with some silk patchwork, the little squares and diamonds sparkling in the sunlight; Faith was reading aloud 'Westward Ho.' She set down the book with a bright, welcoming smile. The story had really moved her, her eyes shone with soft, serious excitement; there was a scent of tall white lilies. Dr. Stewart's bees were buzzing loudly; a light wind rustled the long shadows of the grass; Miss Charity's curls were a bit messy. Some fine white-heart cherries were hanging above Dr. Stewart's head; he started gathering some, "for dessert," he said coolly as he put them in his own pocket. "Why didn't they call you Cherry, Miss Charity, instead of that pretentious Cara?"
"It is only one of Faith's whims," returned Miss Hope; "neither Prue nor I ever use it; she begun it as a child and never left off."
"It’s just one of Faith’s quirks," replied Miss Hope; "neither Prue nor I ever use it; she started it as a kid and never stopped."
"Why should I not use it, it is far softer and prettier than Charity?" interposed Faith appealingly. Dr. Stewart gave one of his dry laughs.
"Why shouldn't I use it? It's much softer and prettier than Charity," Faith interjected, looking for support. Dr. Stewart let out one of his dry laughs.
"Every one has a right to their own fancies. I am prosaic enough to dislike pet names. Cara, when one is christened Charity!" with a contemptuous shrug; "why, it is a direct snub to one's sponsors."
"Everyone has the right to their own preferences. I’m practical enough to dislike pet names. Cara, when someone is named Charity!" with a disdainful shrug; "well, that's a direct insult to one's sponsors."
Faith looked uncomfortable; she always did when Dr. Stewart was in one of his quizzical moods. At such times he was given to find fault with everything. But in another moment he became serious.
Faith looked uneasy; she always did when Dr. Stewart was in one of his curious moods. At those times, he tended to criticize everything. But then, in an instant, he shifted to being serious.
"What an odd fancy that was of Chester's calling his little girl Nan. She is a pretty little creature, and her father seems to dote on her. I was over there yesterday; Mrs. Chester had one of her attacks."
"What a strange idea it was for Chester to call his little girl Nan. She's such a pretty little thing, and her dad really seems to adore her. I was over there yesterday; Mrs. Chester was having one of her episodes."
"Poor thing!" sighed Miss Charity, "she is very delicate. People are fond of calling her fanciful, and no doubt she is full of whimsies like the rest of us; but it is hard work having an ailing body and an ailing temper too."
"Poor thing!" sighed Miss Charity, "she's really delicate. People love to call her fanciful, and sure, she has her share of whims like all of us; but it’s tough to deal with both a sick body and a bad temper."
"Yes," he assented; "she has her share of trouble, but she has got the blessing of a good husband." But here Miss Prudence shook her head grimly. She rarely joined in the conversation if a stranger were present; and, as her remarks were generally of a lugubrious nature, they were not greatly missed.
"Yes," he agreed; "she has her share of problems, but she has the blessing of a good husband." But at that moment, Miss Prudence shook her head grimly. She rarely participated in the conversation if a stranger was around; and since her comments were usually pretty grim, no one really missed them.
"An ill-assorted couple, doctor," smoothing her black mittens with sad satisfaction. Miss Prudence was much given to expatiate in the domestic circle on the evils of matrimony, and to thank Heaven that she and her three sisters had not fallen into the hands of the Philistines; a peculiarly happy state of resignation for an unattractive woman, with a rigid and cast-iron exterior, and endowed besides with a masculine appendage of the upper lip.
"An ill-matched couple, doctor," she said, smoothing her black mittens with a melancholic sense of satisfaction. Miss Prudence often went on about the downsides of marriage in her family discussions, expressing gratitude that she and her three sisters had avoided the clutches of the Philistines; a strangely content state of acceptance for an unappealing woman, with a stiff and unyielding exterior, and also sporting a masculine-looking mustache.
"Humph!" grunted the doctor laconically; for he had an ill-concealed antagonism to Miss Prudence, and disliked gossiping about his patients' affairs.
"Humph!" the doctor grunted dismissively; he had a hidden dislike for Miss Prudence and wasn't fond of gossiping about his patients' lives.
"If we were to add up all the ill-assorted marriages in the world, the sum would last us a long time," observed Miss Hope philosophically.
"If we were to count all the mismatched marriages in the world, it would take us a while," Miss Hope observed thoughtfully.
"Right, my dear madam," was the brisk answer; "but 'if folk, won't suit themselves properly it is not other people's fault,' as the old clerk said when—when the wrong couple got married."
"Okay, my dear lady," was the quick reply; "but 'if people don't behave properly, it's not anyone else's fault,' as the old clerk said when—when the wrong couple got married."
"They say marriages are made in heaven," began Miss Charity, a little sentimentally; but Dr. Stewart interrupted her.
"They say marriages are made in heaven," began Miss Charity, a bit sentimental; but Dr. Stewart interrupted her.
"They say so; but don't you think there is a good deal of human bungling and obstinacy at the bottom? One can't fancy the angels, for example, taking a very great interest in a marriage de convenance, or a ceremony where title-deeds and money-bags play too prominent a part! I have seen something of human nature, Miss Charity, and have often found occasion for astonishment at the sad mess men, and women too, make over their lives."
"They say that, but don’t you think there’s a lot of human blundering and stubbornness involved? You can’t really picture angels being very interested in a marriage de convenance or a ceremony where contracts and money take center stage! I’ve seen a bit of human nature, Miss Charity, and I’ve often been amazed at the sad chaos that people, both men and women, create in their lives."
"I don't think women are often to blame," observed Faith in a low voice.
"I don't think women are usually at fault," Faith said quietly.
"Humph! so that is your experience," with an odd, inexplicable look as he rose from the grass. "Well, ladies, this is vastly entertaining, and one could learn a good deal, no doubt; but there is work waiting for me in the shape of Jemmy Bates' broken leg, which, by-the-bye, Miss Faith, is progressing most favorably," and, with a benevolent nod that included them all, Dr. Stewart walked off, still munching his cherries.
"Humph! So that’s your experience," he said, looking at them oddly as he got up from the grass. "Well, ladies, this is quite entertaining, and I’m sure there’s a lot to learn; but I have work waiting for me with Jemmy Bates’ broken leg, which, by the way, Miss Faith, is healing very well," and with a friendly nod that included everyone, Dr. Stewart walked away, still munching on his cherries.
CHAPTER XII.
LITTLE NAN.
"Those whom God loves die young;
They see no evil days;
No falsehood taints their tongue,
No wickedness their ways.
"Those whom God loves die young;
They see no evil days;
No falsehood taints their tongue,
No wickedness their ways.
"Baptized—and so made sure
To win their safe abode,
What can we pray for more?
They die, and are with God."
Robert S. Hawker.
"Baptized—and so guaranteed
To secure their safe place,
What more can we ask for?
They die, and are with God."
Robert S. Hawker.
A few days after Dr. Stewart's garden visit Emmie came running up the gravel walk at Brier wood Cottage with a frightened face. Queenie, who was sitting in the porch as usual, put down her work rather hurriedly.
A few days after Dr. Stewart's visit to the garden, Emmie came running up the gravel path at Brierwood Cottage with a scared expression. Queenie, who was sitting on the porch as usual, quickly put down her work.
"Oh, Queen, I do think something is the matter. Mr. Chester is coming up this way, and he has got Nan in his arms, and she looks so odd; I am sure she is ill or something."
"Oh, Queen, I really think something’s wrong. Mr. Chester is coming this way, and he has Nan in his arms, and she looks so strange; I’m certain she’s sick or something."
"Is he bringing her here, or to Church-Stile House?" asked her sister anxiously; but as she spoke Mr. Chester's tall figure came into sight. In another moment there was a click of the little gate, and he came rapidly up to them carrying his child.
"Is he bringing her here, or to Church-Stile House?" her sister asked anxiously. Just then, Mr. Chester's tall figure came into view. In a moment, the little gate clicked open, and he quickly walked up to them carrying his child.
"May I come in, Miss Marriott? the sun is so hot I dare not go up the lane;" and, as Queenie nodded and made room for him to pass into their cool little sitting-room, he continued in an agitated voice, "I do not know what ails Nan, she has been sleepy and quiet for a long time, and just now she turned very sick and poorly."
"Can I come in, Miss Marriott? The sun is so hot I’m hesitant to walk up the lane;" and, as Queenie nodded and made space for him to enter their cool little sitting room, he continued in an anxious voice, "I don’t know what’s wrong with Nan. She’s been really sleepy and quiet for a while, and just now she got very sick and seemed unwell."
He had placed himself in the low chair by the window as he spoke, and Queenie knelt down by him and examined the child. As she untied the large white sun-bonnet Nan shrank from her rather restlessly.
He had settled into the low chair by the window as he spoke, and Queenie knelt beside him to check on the child. As she untied the large white sun bonnet, Nan pulled away from her a bit anxiously.
"Nan did want to go home, father; Nan very sick," she answered, hiding her face on his shoulder.
"Nan did want to go home, Dad; Nan is really sick," she replied, burying her face in his shoulder.
"That is what she keeps saying over and over again," he continued, still more anxiously. "She was quite well when we left home this morning; she and her little maid were chasing each other along the lanes, pelting each other with poppies. I thought she was only tired and wanted to be carried; I can't understand this sickness and drowsiness all at once. Do you think, Miss Marriott, that it could possibly be a sunstroke?"
"That's what she keeps saying over and over again," he continued, sounding even more anxious. "She was perfectly fine when we left home this morning; she and her little maid were running around the lanes, throwing poppy flowers at each other. I thought she was just tired and wanted to be carried; I can't make sense of this sudden sickness and drowsiness. Do you think, Miss Marriott, that it could possibly be sunstroke?"
"I don't know; her eyes certainly look very odd," returned Queenie in great perplexity.
"I don't know; her eyes definitely look really strange," Queenie replied, feeling very confused.
"Oh, father! Nan is so very tired," moaned the little creature again, creeping closer to his broad breast. "Ellen did say it was naughty to eat the pretty currants; but Nan is good now, only so sick."
"Oh, Dad! Nan is really tired," the little one complained again, snuggling closer to his broad chest. "Ellen did say it was naughty to eat the pretty currants, but Nan is good now, just really sick."
"Have you any pain, my darling?" he asked, bending over her.
"Are you in any pain, my love?" he asked, leaning over her.
"No; no pain, only Nan so tired," she repeated, in the most pathetic voice. Mr. Chester looked appealingly at Queenie.
"No; no pain, just Nan so tired," she repeated, in the most pathetic voice. Mr. Chester looked pleadingly at Queenie.
"I am afraid she is very ill," she returned reluctantly, for there was a strange look about the child that alarmed her. "Emmie dear, tell Patience to go and fetch Dr. Stewart at once, and you run across for Langley."
"I’m afraid she’s really sick," she replied hesitantly, because there was something unsettling about the child that worried her. "Emmie, sweetheart, tell Patience to go get Dr. Stewart right away, and you head over for Langley."
"Aye, we must have Langley," he repeated helplessly, looking down at his pet. Nan had left off her moaning and seemed sinking into drowsiness.
"Aye, we need Langley," he said helplessly, looking down at his pet. Nan had stopped her moaning and appeared to be drifting off to sleep.
"Will she let me undress her and lay her in Emmie's bed? she will be more comfortable than in your arms;" but, as Nan stirred uneasily and murmured "Father; Nan cannot leave father," Mr. Chester was obliged to carry her up himself. But even when he placed her on the cool pillow she still held his hand tightly.
"Will she let me take off her clothes and lay her in Emmie's bed? She'll be more comfortable than in your arms;" but, as Nan shifted restlessly and murmured "Father; Nan cannot leave father," Mr. Chester had to carry her up himself. But even when he set her down on the cool pillow, she still clung to his hand tightly.
"Father will not leave his pet; don't be afraid, my darling."
"Father won't leave his pet; don't worry, my dear."
When Langley arrived she found him still hanging over the child. Nan seemed sleeping; her dark eyelashes swept her cheek; one small hand was folded in her father's.
When Langley arrived, she found him still leaning over the child. Nan looked like she was sleeping; her dark eyelashes brushed against her cheek; one small hand was clasped in her father's.
"This sleep will do her good. It must have been the sun that made her feel sick," he said, looking up at Langley with a relieved expression. Langley put back the long silky hair from the child's forehead, but did not answer. Some chill presentiment for which she could not account had seized her at the moment of Emmie's summons; and then, why did not Nan move when she kissed her?
"This sleep will do her good. It must have been the sun that made her feel sick," he said, looking up at Langley with a relieved expression. Langley pushed the long silky hair back from the child's forehead but didn’t reply. An unexplainable sense of dread had gripped her at the moment of Emmie's call; and then, why didn’t Nan react when she kissed her?
"I do not think this looks quite like sleep, like natural sleep, I mean. I think we ought to try to rouse her, at least till Dr. Stewart comes. Speak to her, Harry; she has never slept so soundly before."
"I don't think this looks much like sleep, like real sleep, I mean. I think we should try to wake her up, at least until Dr. Stewart arrives. Talk to her, Harry; she's never slept this deeply before."
"Nan, Nan, my little one, father wants you," but, for the first time in her infant life, Nan was deaf to her father's voice.
"Nan, Nan, my little one, dad wants you," but, for the first time in her baby life, Nan was deaf to her dad's voice.
"What can we do? what are we to do? Dr. Stewart will not be home for another hour," exclaimed Queenie, now really terrified. No suspicion of the truth had entered into any of their minds. Only when it was too late did the child's speech about the pretty currants recur to her.
"What can we do? What are we supposed to do? Dr. Stewart won't be home for another hour," Queenie exclaimed, now truly scared. No one had even suspected the truth. It was only when it was too late that the child's talk about the pretty currants came back to her.
The next two hours that passed were never effaced from Queenie's memory. No efforts of theirs could rouse the child from the death-like stupor that oppressed her. Langley had tried two or three remedies, but they were unavailing, and the father's agony was pitiable to witness. The little town was fairly roused, and messengers on horseback were scouring the neighbourhood after Dr. Stewart. But he had gone to a farmhouse some five miles distant, and delay was inevitable. Garth and Ted had each gone in different directions, and Faith Palmer had driven over to Karldale to tell Mrs. Chester the reason of her husband's long absence.
The next two hours were unforgettable for Queenie. No efforts on their part could wake the child from the death-like stupor that weighed her down. Langley tried a couple of remedies, but they didn’t work, and the father’s pain was heartbreaking to see. The little town was buzzing, and messengers on horseback were searching the area for Dr. Stewart. But he had gone to a farmhouse about five miles away, and there was no way to avoid a delay. Garth and Ted had each gone off in different directions, and Faith Palmer had driven over to Karldale to explain to Mrs. Chester why her husband had been gone so long.
It was just before Dr. Stewart's arrival that Langley, examining the child's clothes, found some dark crimson stains on the front of the little white frock, and showed them to the doctor, as he stood with a grave face looking down at the child. A very brief survey had satisfied him.
It was just before Dr. Stewart arrived that Langley, while checking the child's clothes, noticed some dark red stains on the front of the little white dress and pointed them out to the doctor, who stood with a serious expression looking down at the child. A quick glance had been enough for him.
"Humph! it is just as I feared when young Clayton told me the symptoms. She has been eating deadly night-shade. Children sometimes mistake them for currants. Why was she allowed to run about without her nurse?"
"Humph! It's just as I feared when young Clayton told me the symptoms. She has been eating deadly nightshade. Kids sometimes mistake them for currants. Why was she allowed to run around without her nurse?"
"She had the girl with her," returned the poor father, and here he uttered a strong expletive; but Langley laid her hand on his arm and said Hush! "What can you do to wake her, Dr. Stewart?"
"She had the girl with her," replied the distressed father, and then he swore loudly; but Langley put her hand on his arm and said, "Hush!" "What can you do to wake her, Dr. Stewart?"
"Nothing," returned the doctor sadly. "An hour or two sooner and I could have saved her. But, my good sir, these things are not in our hands. It is neither your fault nor mine that I was not here."
"Nothing," the doctor replied sadly. "If I had been here an hour or two earlier, I could have saved her. But, my good sir, these things are beyond our control. It’s neither your fault nor mine that I wasn’t here."
"You can do nothing!" turning upon him almost fiercely in his despair, as though he would wrest the child's life from him by force.
"You can’t do anything!" he snapped at him, almost angrily in his frustration, as if he was trying to take the child's life from him by sheer force.
"Nothing," he repeated emphatically, for it was best that the miserable father should realize the truth at once, and not cling to the shadow of a hope. "The child is sleeping herself to death; in a few hours it must all be over."
"Nothing," he said firmly, because it was better for the unfortunate father to face the reality immediately, rather than hold on to a false hope. "The child is sleeping herself to death; in a few hours, it will all be over."
"Try to bear it, Harry," said Langley, in her low, soothing voice, for the strong man absolutely staggered under the blow. Her face was almost as white as his as she guided him to a chair, but he turned from her with a groan and hid his face in the child's pillow.
"Try to handle it, Harry," Langley said softly, her calm voice almost a whisper, as the strong man struggled to cope with the shock. Her face was nearly as pale as his as she helped him to a chair, but he turned away with a groan and buried his face in the child's pillow.
"I will come again; there is nothing for me to do here," said Dr. Stewart. His voice was rough, probably with emotion, as he turned away abruptly.
"I'll come back; there's nothing for me to do here," Dr. Stewart said. His voice was rough, likely from emotion, as he turned away suddenly.
"An hour or two earlier and I could have saved her," he said to Queenie as she followed him down-stairs. "It goes hard with a man to know that, and that he can do absolutely nothing; just because my mare wanted shoeing, and I went out of the beaten track. There is another life gone, that is what I call a mystery," and Dr. Stewart muttered his favorite "humph!" and went away with a sorrowful face, for he was soft-hearted, and loved all children for their own sweet sakes.
"An hour or two earlier and I could have saved her," he told Queenie as she followed him downstairs. "It's really tough for a guy to know that, and that he can’t do anything about it; just because my horse needed new shoes, and I strayed from the usual path. Another life lost—that’s what I call a mystery," and Dr. Stewart grumbled his usual "humph!" and left with a sad expression, because he had a gentle heart and cared for all kids simply because they were kids.
There was literally nothing to be done after this. Garth came in by-and-bye and paid a short visit to the room up-stairs, but he did not stay long.
There was really nothing to be done after this. Garth came in eventually and paid a short visit to the room upstairs, but he didn’t stay long.
"Langley is with him, and we have sent for his wife. There is nothing that a fellow can do, and—in short, I can't stand it," he blurted out confidentially to Queenie, with a man's instinctive horror of scenes. "If there were something that one could do; but in these sort of cases women are the best. It cuts one to the heart to see him going on like that;" and Garth turned on his heel abruptly, and walked to the window.
"Langley is with him, and we’ve called for his wife. There’s really nothing a guy can do, and—in short, I can’t take it," he said confidentially to Queenie, showing a man’s natural aversion to drama. "If there was something we could do; but in these situations, women are often better at handling things. It really hurts to see him like this;" and Garth suddenly turned and walked to the window.
But he made himself of use too in that troubled little household; for he succeeded in coaxing Emmie, who was sobbing with nervous excitement, to go with him to Church-Stile House, and promised Queenie to place her under Cathy's care for the night. This was a great relief to Queenie, who had reason to dread any of these sort of depressing scenes for her, and left her free for any duty that might devolve on her.
But he made himself helpful in that troubled little household; he managed to persuade Emmie, who was crying with nervous excitement, to go with him to Church-Stile House, and promised Queenie that he would leave her in Cathy's care for the night. This was a huge relief for Queenie, who had plenty of reasons to fear these kinds of upsetting situations, and it allowed her to focus on any responsibilities that might fall to her.
A sad sight awaited her up-stairs. The setting sun was flooding the little chamber, and the last dazzling rays shone full on the face of the child. Mr. Chester was kneeling by the bed, with one little hand hidden in his; Langley, with a white, rigid face, was standing beside him. As the hoarse uncontrollable sobs, those tearless sobs of a strong man, smote on her ear she shivered and shrank back as though some blow were dealt her.
A disturbing scene greeted her upstairs. The setting sun was pouring into the small room, and the last brilliant rays hit the child's face. Mr. Chester was kneeling by the bed, holding one little hand in his; Langley, with a pale, stiff face, stood beside him. As the harsh, uncontrollable sobs—tearless sobs from a strong man—reached her ears, she flinched and pulled back as if she had been struck.
"Oh, Queenie, this is dreadful! Who can comfort him? Where is his wife and the mother of his child?" she whispered, as the girl went up to them. "It is she who ought to be here, not I."
"Oh, Queenie, this is awful! Who can comfort him? Where is his wife and the mother of his child?" she whispered as the girl approached them. "It's her who should be here, not me."
"We have sent for her. Hush, Langley, he will hear you."
"We've called for her. Quiet down, Langley, he will hear you."
"Ah, he bears nothing; he will have it that she will wake and speak to him." But her words reached his ear.
"Ah, he has nothing; he insists that she will wake up and talk to him." But her words reached his ear.
"She will, Langley; how can you be so cruel? They always do just before——" "the last," he was going to say, but the words choked him. "You will say good-bye to father, and give him one sweet kiss, will you not, my little Nan, my darling, my treasure?"
"She will, Langley; how can you be so cruel? They always do right before——" "the end," he was going to say, but the words got stuck in his throat. "You'll say goodbye to dad, and give him one sweet kiss, won’t you, my little Nan, my darling, my treasure?"
"Oh, Harry, try to bear it! Harry, Harry, won't you listen to me a moment?" and Langley laid her cold hand on his arm; but her touch only seemed to make him more frantic.
"Oh, Harry, please try to hang in there! Harry, Harry, won't you just listen to me for a second?" Langley said as she placed her cold hand on his arm, but her touch only made him more frantic.
"No, I will not bear it; I cannot bear it. Have I not suffered enough? Will God take from me my only comfort? Oh, my little child, my little child!" with another burst of anguish.
"No, I won't put up with it; I can't take it. Have I not suffered enough? Will God really take away my only comfort? Oh, my little child, my little child!" with another surge of pain.
"See how calm and peaceful she looks," she went on, in her quiet, controlling voice, but her face was like marble; "just sleeping peacefully into her rest; no pain, no suffering. It is so 'He giveth His beloved sleep;' try and think of that, Harry."
"Look how calm and peaceful she is," she continued in her soft, assertive voice, but her face was as cold as marble; "just resting peacefully now; no pain, no suffering. It’s so true that 'He gives His loved ones sleep;' try to remember that, Harry."
"She was my ewe lamb," he muttered, gloomily; "she drank of my cup, and lay in my bosom. She was my own little daughter, my only one, She used to kneel up upon my knees and say her pretty prayers to me every night, the darling. 'God bless Nan and Nan's father,' she always said that."
"She was my little lamb," he murmured sadly; "she drank from my cup and rested in my arms. She was my own little girl, my only one. She used to kneel on my lap and say her sweet prayers to me every night, the darling. 'God bless Nan and her dad,' she always used to say."
"Yes; and He will bless you, my poor Harry."
"Yes, and He will bless you, my dear Harry."
"Is it blessing me to rob me like this of my all? Oh, Langley, pray to Him; you are a good woman; pray both of you that she may be spared to me."
"Is it a blessing for me to be robbed of everything like this? Oh, Langley, pray to Him; you're a good woman; both of you pray that she may be spared for me."
"Ab, if it were only His will!" sighed Langley. Did the memory of those strange pathetic words of another heart-broken father cross her memory? "'While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, Who can tell whether God will be gracious to me, that the child may live?' Ah, if it were only His will!"
"Ab, if only it were His will!" Langley sighed. Did the memory of those strange, heartbreaking words from another grieving father come to her mind? "'While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, Who can tell if God will be gracious to me, so that the child may live?' Ah, if only it were His will!"
"Hush! did you see her stir? I saw her, I felt her; she is waking now. Nan, my pet, my darling, open your sweet eyes and look at father." But, alas, the little inanimate form still lay in its deathly torpor.
"Hush! Did you see her move? I saw her, I felt her; she’s waking up now. Nan, my love, my darling, open your sweet eyes and look at Dad." But, unfortunately, the little lifeless body still lay in its deathly stupor.
And so the hours passed. Dr. Stewart came and went again; and Garth stole up the uncarpeted stairs, and stood outside with bated breath, to listen if a further change had taken place. But still Mr. Chester knelt beside the little white bed, and Langley and Queenie kept faithful watch beside him.
And so the hours went by. Dr. Stewart came and went again; and Garth quietly climbed the bare stairs, standing outside with held breath, trying to hear if anything had changed. But Mr. Chester was still kneeling beside the small white bed, while Langley and Queenie kept a vigilant watch next to him.
It was long past midnight when Queenie, laying her hand on the child's brow, felt it cold beneath her touch, and knew that the last feeble breath had been drawn, and signed to Langley that all was over.
It was well past midnight when Queenie, laying her hand on the child's forehead, felt it cold beneath her touch and realized that the last weak breath had been taken, signaling to Langley that it was all over.
But even then the unhappy father would not realize the truth; and when at last it dawned upon him, he bade them with passionate impatience to leave him there with his dead. "Leave me alone with my child; she belongs to me; she is mine;" and as they went out sadly they could hear him groan, "Oh, my little Nan, my little, little child."
But even then the grief-stricken father couldn’t accept the reality; and when it finally hit him, he urged them with intense frustration to leave him with his deceased child. "Leave me alone with my daughter; she’s mine; she belongs to me;" and as they walked out sadly, they could hear him moan, "Oh, my little Nan, my sweet, sweet child."
As they left the room, Queenie could hear Garth calling to her in a suppressed voice, and at once went down to him. He took hold of her hand, and led her into the cheery little parlor. There was a bright fire in the grate; an old wooden rocking-chair stood near it; the tea-tray was on the round black table where the sisters ate their simple meals.
As they exited the room, Queenie heard Garth calling to her in a hushed voice and immediately went down to meet him. He took her hand and led her into the cozy little parlor. A bright fire crackled in the fireplace; an old wooden rocking chair was nearby; the tea tray rested on the round black table where the sisters shared their simple meals.
"Sit down there and warm yourself," he said, kindly, "and I will give you a cup of tea. Where is Langley?"
"Sit down over there and warm up," he said warmly, "and I'll get you a cup of tea. Where's Langley?"
"She went into my room; I think she wants to be alone; I will go up to her presently. Oh, Mr. Clayton," bursting into tears, for this touch of thoughtfulness moved her from her enforced calmness, "it has been so sad, so dreadful, all these hours."
"She went into my room; I think she wants to be alone; I'll go up to her soon. Oh, Mr. Clayton," she said, bursting into tears, as this act of kindness broke her forced calmness, "it has been so sad, so terrible, all these hours."
"Yes; I know it has been very hard upon you. Poor Chester, and poor dear little Nan; who would have dreamed of such a catastrophe? Even Dr. Stewart, who is inured to all sorts of painful scenes, seems quite upset by it. It must be hard for a man to lose his only child," continued Garth, gravely, as he brought the tea, and stirred the fire into a more cheerful blaze.
"Yes, I know it's been really tough on you. Poor Chester, and poor sweet little Nan; who would have ever thought something like this could happen? Even Dr. Stewart, who's used to all kinds of painful situations, seems really shaken by it. It must be incredibly hard for a man to lose his only child," Garth continued seriously as he brought the tea and stirred the fire to make it burn brighter.
"I did not know you were here," she said, after an interval of silence. The warmth had revived her, and the flow of nervous tears had done her good. How she wished that Langley could be induced to come down too!
"I didn't know you were here," she said, after a pause. The warmth had brought her back to life, and crying had helped her feel better. How she wished Langley could be convinced to come down too!
"I could not make up my mind to leave you all in such a strait. Langley was here, and I thought after all that I might be of use. I am glad I thought of keeping up the fire. I had a grand hunt for Patience's tea-caddy; it took me no end of time to find."
"I couldn't decide to leave you all in such a tough spot. Langley was here, and I thought maybe I could be of help after all. I'm glad I thought to keep the fire going. I had quite the search for Patience's tea caddy; it took me forever to find it."
Garth was talking in a fast, nervous way to keep up his own and Queenie's spirits. He had never seen her cry before, and it gave him an odd sort of pain. The thought of the room upstairs, and of the heart-broken father kneeling there by his dead child, weighed upon them both like lead; only Queenie stretched out her cold hands to the blaze, and drank her tea obediently, and felt cheered by Garth's kindness.
Garth was speaking quickly and nervously to lift his own and Queenie's spirits. He had never seen her cry before, and it hurt him in a strange way. The image of the room upstairs and the devastated father kneeling by his dead child pressed down on them like a ton of bricks; still, Queenie reached out her cold hands to the fire, drank her tea obediently, and felt uplifted by Garth's kindness.
"These sorts of things upset one's views of life," he continued, after a pause. "I suppose we all know trouble in some shape or other; but when it comes to a man losing his only bit of comfort, and Heaven only knows what that child was to the poor fellow—well, I can only say it does seem hard."
"These kinds of things really change how you see life," he said after a moment. "I guess we all face some kind of trouble at different times; but when a guy loses his only source of comfort, and who knows what that child meant to him—well, I can only say it feels really unfair."
"That is what I felt when I thought I was going to lose Emmie. Mr. Chester has his wife."
"That's how I felt when I thought I was going to lose Emmie. Mr. Chester has his wife."
"She has never been much good to him. I am no scandal-monger, but one can't help seeing that. I wonder what has become of her and Miss Faith?" he went on, restlessly, walking to the window and looking out on the dark summer night.
"She’s never really been good to him. I’m not one to spread gossip, but it’s hard not to notice that. I wonder what happened to her and Miss Faith?" he continued, anxiously, walking to the window and looking out at the dark summer night.
Queenie left him soon after that. "She must see after Langley," she said; "and there were other things that ought to be done," she added, with a shudder.
Queenie left him shortly after that. "She needs to take care of Langley," she said; "and there were other things that needed to be handled," she added, with a shiver.
Garth let her go with some reluctance; the little parlor looked desolate without her. He sat down in the old rocking-chair after she had left, and fell into an odd, musing dream. "How strangely they seemed to be drawn together," he thought. He was as much at home with her as he was with Langley and Cathy; it had come quite naturally to him now to take her under his protection, and care for her as he did for them. It had been pleasant ministering to her comfort just now. How pretty she had looked sitting there in her black dress, with her head resting against the hard wood of the chair. Most women looked ugly when they cried, but her tears had flowed so quietly. And then he wondered how Dora looked when she cried, and if she would ever gaze up in his face as gently and gratefully as Queenie did just now. And then he fell to musing in a grave, old-fashioned way on the inequalities of matrimony, and the probable risk of disappointment. Things did not always turn out well, as poor Chester had found to his cost. In times of trouble a man must turn for comfort to his wife. Was Dora the one likely to yield him this comfort? She was very strong and reliable; all manner of good qualities were hers, besides her creamy skin and golden hair; but would she be gentle and soft with him at times when a man needed gentleness?
Garth let her go with some hesitation; the little parlor felt empty without her. He sat down in the old rocking chair after she left and slipped into a strange, reflective dream. "It’s odd how connected they seemed," he thought. He felt as at home with her as he did with Langley and Cathy; it had become second nature for him to protect her and care for her just like he did for them. It was nice to be there for her comfort just now. She had looked so pretty sitting there in her black dress, her head resting against the hard wood of the chair. Most women looked unattractive when they cried, but her tears fell so quietly. Then he wondered how Dora looked when she cried, and if she would ever look up at him as gently and gratefully as Queenie did just now. He then started to reflect in a serious, old-fashioned way on the inequalities of marriage and the potential for disappointment. Things didn’t always end well, as poor Chester had painfully discovered. In tough times, a man must seek comfort from his wife. Was Dora the one who could provide him that comfort? She was strong and dependable; she had all kinds of good qualities, plus her creamy skin and golden hair, but would she be gentle and nurturing when a man needed that kindness?
Garth was disquieting himself a little over these thoughts while Queenie stole up the little staircase. All was quiet in Emmie's room as she passed; her own was chill and dark as she entered it. Langley had not lighted the candle; she was sitting by the open window looking out at the black, starless night. The rain was falling now, the drops were pattering on the creeper. Queenie gave a little shiver of discomfort at the dreary scene, and thought regretfully of the rocking-chair downstairs.
Garth was getting a bit anxious about these thoughts while Queenie quietly ascended the small staircase. Everything was silent in Emmie's room as she walked by; her own room was cold and dark when she entered. Langley hadn’t lit the candle; she sat by the open window, gazing out at the pitch-black, starless night. The rain was falling now, with droplets tapping on the plants outside. Queenie shivered slightly at the gloomy scene and regrettably thought about the rocking chair downstairs.
"Have you been in again, Langley?"
"Have you been in again, Langley?"
"Yes; but he will not let me stay or do anything for him; he wants her all to himself for a little, he says. He just let me put things a little comfortable, and as they should be, watching me jealously all the time, and then I came away. Garth must go in by-and-bye, and coax him down."
"Yeah; but he won’t let me stay or do anything for him; he wants her all to himself for a bit, he says. He just let me make things a little more comfortable, and as they should be, watching me jealously the whole time, and then I left. Garth will have to go in later and persuade him to come down."
Langley spoke in a tone of forced composure, but her breath was labored, and the hand that touched Queenie's was so damp and cold that the girl absolutely started.
Langley spoke with a tense calm, but her breathing was heavy, and the hand that touched Queenie's was so damp and cold that the girl jumped.
"Dear Langley, all this is making you quite ill. Do come down with me; your brother has lighted a fire, and it is so warm and cosy, and we can talk ever so much better there." But Langley refused.
"Dear Langley, all this is making you really sick. Come down with me; your brother has started a fire, and it’s so warm and cozy, and we can talk a lot better there." But Langley refused.
"No, no; I must stop here as long as he is shut up in that room. What do I want with warmth and comfort while he is suffering—suffering? and I can do nothing for him—nothing, nothing!" in a voice of such despair that Queenie started. A new light seemed breaking on her.
"No, no; I have to stay here as long as he’s locked in that room. What do I need warmth and comfort for while he’s suffering—suffering? And I can't do anything for him—nothing, nothing!" Her voice was filled with such despair that Queenie flinched. It felt like a new understanding was dawning on her.
"He asked for you directly, before his wife was sent for, I know. I think he likes you to be with him, Langley; you are old friends, you know."
"He asked for you personally, before anyone called his wife, I know. I think he enjoys having you around, Langley; you two are old friends, after all."
"Yes; I know. He called me to him just now, and we stood together for a long time looking down at the child. His eyes asked me for comfort; but what consolation had I to give him? His wife ought to be there, not I; we both knew that; and then he sent me away."
"Yes; I know. He called me over just now, and we stood there together for a long time, looking down at the child. His eyes were searching for comfort, but what could I offer him? His wife should have been there, not me; we both knew that, and then he asked me to leave."
"But you need not have gone."
"But you didn't have to go."
"Could I have stood there taking her place when I know too well what we have been to each other? He was right to send me away, and I was right to go; but oh, Queenie, this night is killing me!" and Langley leant against her so heavily, and her voice sounded so strangely in the darkness, that Queenie was frightened. If she guessed rightly, what utter misery there was locked up in this woman's breast!
"Could I have stood there taking her place when I know exactly what we mean to each other? He was right to send me away, and I was right to leave; but oh, Queenie, this night is killing me!" Langley leaned against her so heavily, and her voice sounded so strange in the darkness that Queenie was scared. If she guessed correctly, there was so much misery locked up in this woman's heart!
"You must lie down on my bed; I will not talk to you like this," she said, firmly. And when Langley, faint and exhausted with emotion, offered no resistance, she fetched a thick shawl and folded it round her, and then lighted a candle and administered some sal-volatile. The dim light showed a very ghastly face, and great bright eyes brimful of wretchedness; the somewhat thin lips were trembling with weakness.
"You need to lie down on my bed; I can't talk to you like this," she said firmly. And when Langley, feeling faint and emotionally drained, didn't resist, she got a thick shawl and wrapped it around her, then lit a candle and gave her some sal volatile. The dim light revealed a very pale face and large, bright eyes filled with misery; her somewhat thin lips were trembling from weakness.
"Don't look at me, Queenie; don't let me talk. I am not myself to-night; I shall say things I ought not to say." But Queenie only kissed her tenderly, and drew the white face down to her shoulder.
"Don't look at me, Queenie; please don't let me talk. I'm just not myself tonight; I'll end up saying things I shouldn't. But Queenie just kissed her gently and pulled the pale face down to her shoulder."
"Do talk, Langley; it will do you good. You have kept it all in too long, and it has done you harm. No one wants me, and I can sit beside you a little. When I hear the least movement in Emmie's room I will go in."
"Go ahead and talk, Langley; it will be good for you. You've held everything in for too long, and it's hurt you. No one really needs me, so I can sit with you for a bit. As soon as I hear the slightest movement in Emmie's room, I'll go in."
"We ought not to leave him long alone," she answered, faintly. "Garth must go in to him presently. He would mind me, I know; but I dare not let him see me like this. Oh, Queenie, whatever sorrow you may have to bear, may you never know mine—to bring trouble on the man you love, and then not to be able to comfort him!"
"We shouldn't leave him alone for too long," she replied softly. "Garth needs to go in to him soon. He would listen to me, I know; but I can't let him see me like this. Oh, Queenie, whatever pain you have to face, I hope you never experience mine—causing trouble for the man you love, and then being unable to comfort him!"
Queenie stroked her hair softly; there was sympathy conveyed in every touch. "Tell me all about it, Langley," she whispered; "I always knew you had a grief. If you loved Mr. Chester, and he cared for you, why did you not marry him?"
Queenie gently brushed her hair; every stroke carried sympathy. "Tell me everything, Langley," she whispered. "I always knew you were dealing with something. If you loved Mr. Chester, and he loved you back, why didn't you marry him?"
"Why, indeed! I have had five years in which to ask myself that question. I loved him, of course. We had grown up together; as long as I could remember, Harry and I had been together caring for each other. Garth, every one, expected how it would be."
"Why, exactly! I’ve had five years to ask myself that question. I loved him, of course. We grew up together; for as long as I can remember, Harry and I have been there for each other. Garth, everyone, expected it to be that way."
"Perhaps they all took it too much as a matter of course."
"Maybe they all took it for granted."
"How did you know that?" lifting her head from Queenie's shoulder. "No one can have told you. I never had any confidant."
"How did you know that?" she said, lifting her head from Queenie's shoulder. "No one could have told you. I never had anyone I could trust."
"One guesses things by instinct sometimes."
"Sometimes, you just have a gut feeling about things."
"You are young to know human nature so well," sinking back with a sigh. "Ah, six years ago I was like Cathy—proud, impulsive, and loving my own will. I had a great notion of independence. I thought women were not allowed enough liberty, that they held themselves too cheaply; and though I loved Harry, I was not quite willing to marry him."
"You’re too young to understand human nature this well," she said, sinking back with a sigh. "Ah, six years ago I was like Cathy—proud, impulsive, and loving my own way. I had a strong sense of independence. I believed women weren’t given enough freedom, that they undervalued themselves; and even though I loved Harry, I wasn't fully ready to marry him."
"That sounds strange. I can hardly imagine you like Cathy."
"That sounds weird. I can barely picture you being like Cathy."
"No; my self-will is broken now; I have expiated my girlish failings too bitterly. One's spirit dies under such an ordeal. But though I blame myself, not him, I think a stronger nature would have controlled me."
"No; my stubbornness is gone now; I've paid too dearly for my youthful mistakes. One's spirit can break under such pressure. But even though I blame myself, not him, I believe a stronger person would have kept me in check."
"Did you refuse him then?"
"Did you turn him down?"
"I suppose I did. He came to me one day; things had been going on for a long time, but there had been no actual wooing. Harry was a matter-of-fact man, and I was just the reverse. I had got my head full of novels, and had framed my own ideas of love-making. I wanted an ardent lover, one who would carry me away with the force of his own feelings. The quiet, business-like manner in which Harry spoke fired my pride and resolved me; besides, as I said before, that though I loved him, I was not quite willing to be married."
"I guess I did. He approached me one day; things had been brewing for a while, but there hadn’t been any real courtship. Harry was a practical guy, and I was the complete opposite. My mind was filled with novels, and I had my own ideas about romance. I wanted a passionate lover, someone who would sweep me off my feet with his intense feelings. The calm, straightforward way Harry talked sparked my pride and made me determined; plus, as I mentioned earlier, even though I loved him, I wasn’t entirely ready to get married."
"Do you remember what he said to you?"
"Do you remember what he told you?"
"Yes; his very words. I was in the drawing-room at Church-Stile House, and he came to me looking very quiet and pale. 'Langley,' he said, 'this has been going on a long time, too long, Garth and I think, and I don't seem to be any nearer to what I wish. We care for each other, I know. Can you not make up your mind to be my wife? Karldale Grange is waiting for its mistress.' Just that; not a word of his love for me, not a single protestation."
"Yes; his very words. I was in the living room at Church-Stile House when he came to me looking very calm and pale. 'Langley,' he said, 'this has been going on for a long time, too long, Garth and I think, and I don’t seem to be any closer to what I want. We care for each other, I know that. Can’t you decide to be my wife? Karldale Grange is waiting for its mistress.' Just that; not a single word about his love for me, not one declaration."
"I think it was very honest and straight-forward."
"I think it was very honest and straightforward."
"Can you guess how I answered him? I thanked him coldly, and said that I was in no mood for marrying, that I was not sure that I should ever marry; I cared too much for my freedom.
"Can you guess how I replied? I thanked him dismissively and said that I wasn't in the mood to get married, that I wasn't sure if I ever would; I valued my freedom too much."
"'Have you been playing with me all these years, Langley?' he said, sadly, and his face grew so white. 'I can hardly believe that. I will not press or annoy you, dear; I will speak to Garth;' and then he went away.
"'Have you been playing with me all these years, Langley?' he said, sadly, and his face turned so pale. 'I can hardly believe that. I won’t push you or bother you, dear; I’ll talk to Garth;' and then he left."
"Oh, if he had only stayed, Queenie, and reasoned with me a little, my better nature must have prevailed, for I loved him so; but his apparent coolness angered me, and then Garth came and scolded me, which made matters worse. He was for carrying things with a high hand; but I only grew obstinate. And so one wretched day Harry and I had bitter words together, and he faced round upon me when I sat pretending to work, and swore that if I would not marry him, Gertrude Leslie should; and with that he turned on his heel and left me.
"Oh, if he had just stayed, Queenie, and talked things over a bit, my better instincts would have taken charge, because I loved him so much; but his apparent indifference really upset me, and then Garth came in and scolded me, which made everything worse. He was all about being in control; but I just became more stubborn. So one awful day, Harry and I had a heated argument, and he turned to me while I was pretending to work and swore that if I wouldn't marry him, Gertrude Leslie would; and with that, he stormed out."
"I felt I had gone too far then, and that he meant what he said. Sooner than lose him altogether, I would have humiliated myself in the dust. I threw down my work, and called out Harry, but he did not hear, and in another moment his horse's hoofs sounded in the lane.
"I felt like I had pushed things too far, and he really meant what he said. Sooner than lose him completely, I would have embarrassed myself. I dropped my work and called out to Harry, but he didn't hear me, and in a moment, I heard his horse’s hooves on the lane."
"I did all then that I could do. I wrote a penitent little note begging him to forgive me, and come back to me, and all should be as he wished; and I sent a messenger on to Karldale with it, charging him to deliver it into Harry's own hands; but, alas, it was brought back to me unopened. Harry had never been home at all, he had ridden straight off to Blanddale; and the next morning I heard Gertrude Leslie had promised to be his wife.
"I did everything I could. I wrote a sincere little note asking him to forgive me and come back, promising that everything would be as he wished. I sent a messenger to Karldale with it, instructing him to deliver it directly to Harry, but, unfortunately, it was returned to me unopened. Harry had never been home; he went straight to Blanddale, and the next morning I heard that Gertrude Leslie had agreed to be his wife."
"Oh, Queenie," as the girl leant over her and kissed the white lips that quivered still with the remembrance of that long-past agony, "that moment was a sufficient punishment for all my mad folly; even Garth thought so, for he had no word of reproach for me.
"Oh, Queenie," as the girl leaned over her and kissed the white lips that still trembled with the memory of that long-ago pain, "that moment was enough punishment for all my crazy mistakes; even Garth thought so, because he didn’t have a single word of blame for me.
"But I opened my lips to no one. None knew what I suffered daring those nights and days. An old aunt of ours had fallen ill in Carlisle, and I went to her, and stayed with her till she died.
"But I didn't say anything to anyone. No one knew what I went through during those nights and days. An old aunt of ours got sick in Carlisle, so I went to see her and stayed with her until she passed away."
"When I came back they were married, and by-and-bye Harry and I met. I could see he was greatly changed, and his manner was constrained and nervous; but it was not in his nature to bear malice, and I know he soon forgave me, all the more that he must have seen that he was not the only one to suffer."
"When I returned, they were married, and eventually, Harry and I met. I could tell he had changed a lot, and he seemed tense and anxious; but it wasn't in his nature to hold a grudge, and I know he forgave me quickly, especially since he must have realized he wasn't the only one hurt."
"Dear Langley," stroking the worn face still more tenderly, "I can hardly bear to hear it; it seems all so dreadful. I cannot understand how women can live through such things."
"Dear Langley," she said, gently stroking his worn face, "I can barely stand to hear it; it all feels so awful. I just can't understand how women manage to get through such things."
"One gets used to torture," with a strange smile. "Have you not read that martyrs have been known to sleep on the rack? The worst part of life always seems to me that pain so seldom kills. We go on mutilated, shorn of our best blessings, wounded and bleeding, but we never die."
"One gets used to torture," he said with a strange smile. "Haven't you heard that some martyrs have been known to sleep on the rack? The worst part of life always seems to me that pain so rarely kills. We keep on living, mutilated, stripped of our greatest blessings, wounded and bleeding, but we never actually die."
Queenie stooped down and quoted softly in her ear, "Wherefore is light given to him in misery, and life unto the bitter in soul; which long for death, but it cometh not; and dig for it more than for hid treasures?"
Queenie bent down and whispered in her ear, "Why is light given to someone in misery, and life to those who are bitter in soul; who long for death, but it doesn’t come; and dig for it more than for hidden treasures?"
"Ah, I have often repeated those words. I thought when I first saw Harry after he was married that it would kill me; to think that he belonged to another woman, that she, not I, had a right to his every thought and care. It seemed as though my heart could not hold all its pain."
"Ah, I have often said those words. I thought when I first saw Harry after he got married that it would break me; to realize that he belonged to another woman, that she, not me, had a claim to his every thought and concern. It felt like my heart couldn't bear all its pain."
"Ah, but he had not ceased to love you. There must have been some consolation in that thought."
"Ah, but he still loved you. There must have been some comfort in that thought."
"Yes; but it was not a right consolation; and then I knew that I was the cause of his unhappiness—that was the hardest part of all. He was so good; he tried so hard to do his duty by her, and make her a fond and faithful husband; but she never loved him."
"Yes, but it wasn't the kind of comfort I needed; and then I realized that I was the reason for his unhappiness—that was the toughest part of all. He was really good; he tried so hard to be a devoted and loving husband to her, but she never loved him."
"But she married him."
"But she married him."
"Alas, she married him out of pique. Her lover had jilted her, and in her despair she took the first offer that came to her. Poor Gertrude! she has told me all her troubles. I am her friend as well as Harry's, and all that can be done for them I have tried to do to my utmost."
"Unfortunately, she married him out of spite. Her lover had left her, and in her desperation, she accepted the first proposal that came her way. Poor Gertrude! She has shared all her troubles with me. I am her friend as well as Harry's, and I've done everything I can to help them."
"That I am sure you have."
"That I'm sure you do."
"It used to be dreadful to go there, and see how she treated him; but it was my penance, and I bore it for his sake. When the child came things were better between them, and latterly I hoped that he had ceased to regret the past; but now," she wrung her hands, and the despairing look came back into her eyes, "God has taken from him his only comfort, and I must see his misery and do nothing."
"It used to be awful to go there and witness how she treated him, but it was my penance, and I put up with it for his sake. When the child arrived, things improved between them, and recently I hoped that he had stopped regretting the past; but now," she wrung her hands, and the look of despair returned to her eyes, "God has taken away his only comfort, and I have to watch his misery and do nothing."
There was a moment's silence, only the ceaseless patter of the rain sounded on the leaves, and then Langley raised herself with effort.
There was a brief silence, just the constant sound of the rain hitting the leaves, and then Langley lifted herself up with some effort.
"He has been too long alone; some one must go to him," she said, anxiously. "Either you or Garth must rouse him."
"He's been alone for too long; someone needs to go to him," she said, anxiously. "Either you or Garth has to wake him up."
"Hush!" interrupted Queenie; "I think I hear something. There is surely the sound of wheels in the distance. It is coming nearer; yes, it is stopping at the gate."
"Hush!" interrupted Queenie; "I think I hear something. There's definitely the sound of wheels in the distance. It's getting closer; yes, it's stopping at the gate."
"Then it must be Gertrude," exclaimed Langley, putting back the damp hair from her face, and trying to rise from the bed. "Look out, dear Queenie. Oh, if it should be Gertrude!"
"Then it must be Gertrude," Langley said, pushing the damp hair away from her face and trying to get up from the bed. "Watch out, dear Queenie. Oh, if it really is Gertrude!"
"I am straining my eyes in the darkness, but it is so hard to distinguish anything. Yes, there are two figures, one very tall. I think that must be Mrs. Chester. Garth is opening the door; now he will bring her up. Lie down again, Langley; you look dreadful." But Langley only shook her head, and renewed her efforts to rise.
"I’m squinting in the dark, but it’s really hard to make out anything. Yeah, there are two people, one really tall. I think that has to be Mrs. Chester. Garth is opening the door; he’s going to bring her upstairs now. Lie back down, Langley; you look terrible." But Langley just shook her head and kept trying to get up.
They could hear footsteps ascending the narrow stairs. The gleam of a candle preceded them. Langley tottered feebly to the head of the staircase; but Mrs. Chester did not see her.
They could hear footsteps going up the narrow stairs. The light from a candle led the way. Langley wobbled unsteadily to the top of the staircase, but Mrs. Chester didn’t notice her.
"Where is she? where is my child?" she said, putting out her hands and feeling before her, with the gesture of a sleep-walker, or one stricken suddenly blind; and Queenie, moved with sudden compassion, sprang forward and guided her to the door.
"Where is she? Where is my child?" she said, reaching out her hands and feeling in front of her, like a sleepwalker or someone who had just gone blind. Queenie, filled with sudden compassion, rushed forward and led her to the door.
"Little Nan is there," she said. "He is sitting by her; we cannot get him to leave her."
"Little Nan is there," she said. "He's sitting by her; we can't get him to leave her."
Yes; he was sitting there in the same attitude in which they had left him, with the child's dead hand still clasped in his. At the sight of that bowed figure, that mute despair, the wife's heart woke into sudden life, and she walked feebly towards him.
Yes; he was sitting there in the same position they had left him, with the child's lifeless hand still held in his. At the sight of that slumped figure, that silent despair, the wife's heart sprang to life, and she walked slowly towards him.
"Harry," she said, bursting into tears, and throwing her arms round his neck, "my poor Harry, it is our little child; mine as well as yours. We must comfort each other."
"Harry," she said, breaking down in tears and wrapping her arms around his neck, "my poor Harry, it's our little child; mine as well as yours. We need to support each other."
CHAPTER XIII.
"I KNEW YOU WOULD BE SORRY FOR US."
"When they see her their tears will cease to flow,
Lest they should fall on this pure pale brow,
Or the lilies the child is holding.
With symbol flowers in stainless hand,
She goes by the great white throne to stand,
Where Jesus His lambs is folding."
Helen Marion Burnside.
"When they see her, their tears will stop,
So they don’t fall on her pure, pale brow,
Or on the lilies the child is holding.
With symbolic flowers in her clean hand,
She walks up to the great white throne to stand,
Where Jesus is gathering His lambs."
Helen Marion Burnside.
As the door closed upon the bereaved parents, Queenie heard a low "Thank God" behind her, and immediately afterwards Langley crept softly away. When Queenie went back to her, she found her lying on her bed shedding tears quietly. The strained and fixed expression of her face had relaxed; the worn nerves and brain had at last found relief.
As the door shut on the grieving parents, Queenie heard a soft "Thank God" behind her, and right after that, Langley quietly slipped away. When Queenie returned to her, she found her lying on the bed, quietly shedding tears. The tense and rigid look on her face had softened; her exhausted nerves and mind had finally found some relief.
"Let me cry, it will do me good," she said, when the girl would have hushed her. "If you only knew how long it is since I have been able to shed a tear. I felt as though I were turning into stone. But now—ah, if she will only be good to him I think I could bear anything."
"Let me cry, it will help me," she said, as the girl tried to quiet her. "If you only knew how long it's been since I could shed a tear. I felt like I was turning to stone. But now—ah, if she will just be good to him, I think I could handle anything."
Queenie was obliged to modify her opinion of Mrs. Chester as she watched her during the trying hours that followed. Whatever sins Gertrude had committed against her husband and child during their brief married life she felt must be partially condoned by her present self-forgetfulness.
Queenie had to change her viewpoint on Mrs. Chester as she observed her during the difficult hours that followed. No matter what mistakes Gertrude had made against her husband and child during their short marriage, Queenie felt they must be somewhat forgiven because of her current selflessness.
It may be doubted perhaps whether she had loved her child while it lived with a mother's strong passion. Certain words that little Nan had uttered in her baby language had given a contrary impression. "Mammie did say, 'Go away, Nan,'" she had observed more than once. "Mammie always so tired when Nan looks at her." Might it not have been that, absorbed in her own selfish repinings and discontent, she had refused to gather up the sweetness of that infant life into hers until it was too late? That she was suffering now, no one could doubt who looked at her. The father's heart might be broken within him, but his was the agony of bereavement. No self-reproach festered his wound; no bitterness of remorse was his. But who could measure the anguish of that unhappy mother?
It might be questioned whether she truly loved her child with a mother's fierce passion while he was alive. Certain things little Nan had said in her baby talk suggested otherwise. "Mommie did say, 'Go away, Nan,'" she had mentioned more than once. "Mommie always looks so tired when Nan is around." Could it be that, caught up in her own selfish regrets and dissatisfaction, she had failed to embrace the joy of that young life until it was too late? That she was in pain now was clear to anyone who looked at her. The father's heart might be shattered inside, but his feeling was one of loss. He didn’t suffer from self-blame; he felt no bitterness of guilt. But who could truly measure the sorrow of that unfortunate mother?
Queenie watched her half fascinated as she glided softly from place to place, a graceful, dark-eyed woman. The tall figure, once so full and commanding, was attenuated and bowed as though with weakness. Bright patches of color burnt on the thin cheeks: soft streaks of gray showed in the thick coils of hair; and how low and suffering were the once sharp, querulous tones.
Queenie watched her half in fascination as she moved gently from one spot to another, a graceful, dark-eyed woman. The tall figure, once so full and commanding, now seemed thin and hunched as if from weakness. Bright spots of color stood out on her thin cheeks; soft streaks of gray appeared in her thick coils of hair; and her once sharp, complaining voice sounded low and filled with suffering.
It was a mournful little household in Brierwood Cottage. Mr. Chester had refused to leave the place where his child was. Little Nan still lay in Emmie's room. Queenie had given up hers, and had betaken herself to Patience's little chamber. Emmie was still at Church-Stile House.
It was a sad little household in Brierwood Cottage. Mr. Chester had refused to leave the place where his child was. Little Nan still lay in Emmie's room. Queenie had given up hers and moved to Patience's small room. Emmie was still at Church-Stile House.
Queenie used to go out to her work, and leave Gertrude alone with her husband. On her return she would see them sitting hand in hand talking softly of their child. Nothing but his wife's presence seemed to console the unhappy father. Only she or Langley could rouse him or induce him to take food. Once when they thought they were alone Queenie saw Gertrude take her husband's head between her hands and kiss it softly, and lay it on her breast. "Harry, my poor Harry," she whispered over him, with a perfect passion of pity. Did the warning voice within her admonish her that she too must soon leave him and join her child?
Queenie used to go to work, leaving Gertrude alone with her husband. When she came home, she would find them sitting together, holding hands and softly discussing their child. Only his wife seemed to bring any comfort to the troubled father. Either she or Langley was able to encourage him to eat or do anything at all. One time, when they thought they were alone, Queenie saw Gertrude cup her husband's head in her hands, kiss it gently, and rest it against her chest. "Harry, my poor Harry," she whispered to him, filled with deep compassion. Did a voice inside her warn that she too would soon have to leave him and be with their child?
Langley came and went on brief ministering errands, but she never remained long. Now and then, when all was quiet in the little room above, she would go in and kneel down beside the baby coffin. What sort of prayers ascended from that lonely heart that had missed its way so early in life? "Little Nan, I would have laid down my life to have saved yours," she whispered, pressing her lips to the wood.
Langley came and went on short ministering tasks, but she never stayed for long. Occasionally, when everything was quiet in the small room above, she would go in and kneel beside the baby coffin. What kind of prayers rose from that lonely heart that had lost its way so early in life? "Little Nan, I would have given my life to save yours," she whispered, pressing her lips to the wood.
One day Captain Fawcett stood there with Emmie beside him. Emmie's great blue eyes dilated and widened with awe and wonder at the sight of the tiny white face. The little coffin, the bed, the room were perfectly strewn with flowers. Great boxes of rare hot-house flowers sent from Carlisle, and directed in an unknown hand, had arrived that morning at the cottage. Gertrude was sitting weaving a cross in the room down-stairs, while her husband watched her.
One day, Captain Fawcett stood there with Emmie next to him. Emmie's huge blue eyes were wide with amazement as she looked at the tiny white face. The little coffin, the bed, and the room were all beautifully decorated with flowers. Large boxes of exotic greenhouse flowers sent from Carlisle and addressed in an unknown hand had arrived that morning at the cottage. Gertrude was downstairs, weaving a cross while her husband watched her.
"Is that Nan? it looks like a stone angel lying under a quilt of roses and lilies. It is just like a little angel that I used to see in the cathedral," whispered Emmie.
"Is that Nan? It looks like a stone angel lying under a quilt of roses and lilies. It’s just like a little angel I used to see in the cathedral," whispered Emmie.
"Aye, it is Nan; it is just as my girl looked when her mother dressed her up for the last time in her flowers," returned Captain Fawcett, tremulously. A tear rolled down his grizzled moustache; but Emmie's eyes only widened and grew solemn.
"Aye, it's Nan; it's just like how my girl looked when her mom dressed her up for the last time in her flowers," Captain Fawcett replied, shaking a bit. A tear rolled down his gray mustache; but Emmie's eyes just widened and became serious.
"It is a pity, such pretty flowers; and they will have so many there," she continued, reflectively. "Aren't you glad that Alice has all those roses? Do you know, I often dream about your girl. She was like me, you know, only she had long hair. Last night I thought she and Nan came running to meet me; they were laughing so, and their hands were full of roses."
"It’s a shame, such beautiful flowers; and there will be so many of them," she continued, thinking out loud. "Aren’t you happy that Alice has all those roses? You know, I often dream about your girl. She was like me, but she had long hair. Last night, I imagined she and Nan came running to meet me; they were laughing so much, and their hands were full of roses."
"Bless your pretty fancies, my darling. Well, I dream of my little maid often myself, and she always comes to me and says, 'Father.' I can feel her little hand slipping into mine. And then when I wake I am lonesome somehow. Poor little Ailie."
"Bless your sweet dreams, my love. Well, I often dream about my little girl too, and she always comes to me and says, 'Dad.' I can feel her tiny hand slipping into mine. And then when I wake up, I feel so lonely. Poor little Ailie."
"You must not say poor," returned Emmie, pressing heavily against his knee; "she is not poor at all; she was very tired, you know, and now she is rested. Perhaps Nan would have been tired too if she had stayed longer."
"You shouldn't say she's poor," Emmie replied, leaning heavily against his knee. "She's not poor at all; she was just really tired, and now she's rested. Maybe Nan would have been tired too if she had stayed longer."
"Ah, so she might, poor lammie," with a heavy sigh.
"Ah, she might, poor lamb," with a heavy sigh.
"The world is such a tiring place," continued Emmie, moralizing in her quaint childish way. "Some one is always crying in it. If it were not for leaving Queenie alone, I think I should like to go too, and walk about the golden streets with Alice and Nan; there are such lots of children there, and it is all bright, and nobody cries and looks sad and miserable."
"The world is such a tiring place," Emmie said, in her old-fashioned, naive way. "Someone is always crying. If I didn’t have to leave Queenie behind, I think I would love to go too and walk through the golden streets with Alice and Nan; there are so many kids there, it’s all bright, and nobody cries or looks sad and miserable."
"Let us go and look for blackberries: the Missus is so fond of blackberries," interposed the Captain, hurriedly, for Emmie's dilated eyes filled him with alarm. The child's sensitive nature was depressed by the sadness that surrounded her; a whole world of pathos, a strange involved meaning, lay behind those simple words.
"Let’s go look for blackberries; the Missus loves them," the Captain said quickly, as Emmie's wide eyes worried him. The child's sensitive nature was weighed down by the sadness around her; a whole world of deep emotion and complex meaning was hidden behind those simple words.
"The world is such a tiring place; some one is always crying in it." Alas! yes, little Emmie. Out of His bright heaven God looks down on the upturned wet faces of myriads of His creatures. What seas of tears roll between the earth and His mercy! If the concentrated pain of humanity could be condensed into a single groan, the whole universe could not bear the terror of that sound, reverberating beyond the bound of the uttermost stars, silencing the very music of heaven.
"The world is such a exhausting place; someone is always crying in it." Alas! Yes, little Emmie. From His bright heaven, God looks down on the upturned wet faces of countless creatures. What oceans of tears flow between the earth and His mercy! If all the pain of humanity could be compressed into a single groan, the entire universe couldn't withstand the horror of that sound, echoing beyond the farthest stars, silencing even the music of heaven.
Such a tiring place! True, most true, little Emmie. A place where mistakes are made and never rectified; a place where a joyous meeting is too often replaced by a sad good-bye; where hearts that cleave together are sundered; where the best loved is the soonest taken; where under the sunshine lie the shadows, and the shadows lengthen the farther we walk.
Such a tiring place! True, very true, little Emmie. A place where mistakes happen and are never fixed; a place where a joyful reunion is often followed by a sad farewell; where hearts that are close together are torn apart; where the most loved ones are taken away the fastest; where sunshine casts shadows, and those shadows grow longer the farther we go.
Such a tiring place! since we must work and weep, and live out the life that seems to us so imperfect; since sweet blossoms fail to bring fruit, and thorns lurk underneath the roses. Yet are the letters written up, graven and indelible, on every mutilated life: "What I do thou knowest not now, but thou shalt know hereafter."
Such a exhausting place! We have to work and cry, and live out a life that feels so flawed; since beautiful blossoms don't bear fruit, and thorns hide under the roses. Yet the words are written, carved and unchangeable, on every broken life: "What I do you don't understand now, but you will understand later."
So one bright summer's morning, loving hands lifted little Nan and laid her in her resting-place by the lime-tree walk, and the childless parents followed hand in hand.
So one bright summer morning, caring hands lifted little Nan and laid her in her resting place by the lime tree path, and her childless parents followed, hand in hand.
The churchyard was crowded with sympathizing faces. Queenie was there at the head of her scholars, and Langley stood near her, leaning heavily on her brother's arm. When the service was over the children stepped up two and two, and dropped their simple offerings of rustic wreaths and flowers into the open grave. One child had fashioned a rude cross of poppies and corn, and flung it red and gleaming at the mother's feet. Gertrude took it up and kissed it, and placed it tenderly with the rest. The child, a chubby-faced creature scarcely more than an infant, looked up at her with great black eyes.
The churchyard was filled with sympathetic faces. Queenie was at the front with her students, and Langley stood nearby, leaning heavily on her brother's arm. When the service ended, the children paired up and dropped their simple offerings of homemade wreaths and flowers into the open grave. One child had made a rough cross out of poppies and corn and tossed it down red and shining at the mother’s feet. Gertrude picked it up, kissed it, and placed it gently with the others. The child, a chubby-faced little one not much more than a toddler, looked up at her with big black eyes.
"Oo' little gell will like my fowers," she lisped, as Gertrude burst into tears.
"Your little girl will love my flowers," she lisped, as Gertrude started to cry.
Queenie felt very heavy-hearted when, the next day, the Chesters left her and went back to their lonely home. Gertrude kissed her, and tried to say a few words of thanks.
Queenie felt very sad when, the next day, the Chesters left her and returned to their empty home. Gertrude kissed her and tried to express a few words of gratitude.
"You have been a good Samaritan to me and Harry, Miss Marriott," she said, in a broken voice; "you have taken us in, and tried to bind up our wounds with oil and wine, and yet you were almost a stranger to us."
"You've been so kind to me and Harry, Miss Marriott," she said, her voice trembling. "You've taken us in and tried to heal our wounds with kindness, even though you hardly knew us."
"I shall come again. I cannot keep away from there," added Mr. Chester, with a yearning look towards the place where the mortal remains of his darling were laid. "No, I cannot thank you, Miss Marriott, I never can do so."
"I'll come back again. I can't stay away from there," added Mr. Chester, with a longing look toward the spot where his beloved was laid to rest. "No, I can't thank you, Miss Marriott; I can never do that."
"Oh, hush! go away, please. Would not any one have done it in my place?" cried the girl, with a little sob. She leant against the little gate, watching them until the phaeton was out of sight. Garth, who was coming down the lane, crossed over the road and joined her.
"Oh, come on! Just go away, please. Wouldn't anyone have done the same in my position?" the girl said, with a small sob. She leaned against the little gate, watching them until the carriage disappeared from view. Garth, who was coming down the lane, crossed over the road and joined her.
"So you have your little home to yourself again," he said, looking down at her kindly. "Ah, well, it has been a miserable week to you and to all of us. No one can help feeling for poor Chester; and as for that wife of his—"
"So you have your little place to yourself again," he said, looking down at her kindly. "Ah, well, it’s been a rough week for you and for all of us. No one can help but feel for poor Chester; and as for his wife—"
"Well!" interrupted Queenie, fixing her strange, fathomless eyes on the young man, as he left his sentence unfinished. Every now and then they startled people with their strange haunting beauty; they startled Garth now, for he became suddenly confused.
"Well!" interrupted Queenie, locking her strange, deep-set eyes on the young man as he trailed off mid-sentence. Every so often, her unusual, captivating beauty caught people off guard; it surprised Garth now, leaving him suddenly flustered.
"All I meant was, that one can plainly see that Mrs. Chester is not long for this world. Stewart says so plainly, and she must be conscious of it herself. One can tell that there is trouble in store for that poor fellow."
"All I meant was that it's obvious Mrs. Chester doesn't have much time left. Stewart says it outright, and she has to be aware of it herself. You can tell there's trouble ahead for that poor guy."
"Yes, and she has begun to love him too late," replied Queenie. "All these years lost, and only to understand each other at the last; there does seem such a mystery in things, Mr. Clayton."
"Yes, and she has started to love him too late," Queenie replied. "All these years wasted, and only now they understand each other; there really is such a mystery in things, Mr. Clayton."
"Not at all; he has only married the wrong woman," returned Garth, coolly; "hundreds of men do that, and have to rue their mistake. You are only a girl, you do not know the world as we do," continued the young man, a little loftily. "There are all sorts of temptations and influences. One needs all one's wisdom and strength of mind to steer clear among all the shoals and quicksands one finds in life."
"Not at all; he just married the wrong woman," Garth replied casually. "Hundreds of men do that and end up regretting their choice. You’re just a girl; you don’t know the world like we do," he added, a bit condescendingly. "There are all kinds of temptations and influences. You need all your wisdom and mental strength to navigate through the pitfalls and challenges life throws at you."
"It was Mr. Chester's own fault marrying the wrong woman," persisted Queenie, with a little heat.
"It was Mr. Chester's own fault for marrying the wrong woman," Queenie insisted, a bit heatedly.
Garth's loftiness and burst of eloquence did not move her in the least. His cool statement of facts was rank heresy in her eyes. What was it to her that hundreds of men had made matrimonial mistakes? In her woman's creed, that code of purity and innocence, it was a simple question of right and wrong. To love one woman and marry another, however expedient in a worldly point of view, was a sin for which there was no grace of forgiveness.
Garth's arrogance and passionate speech didn't affect her at all. His calm presentation of facts felt like total heresy to her. Why should she care that hundreds of men had made bad choices in marriage? In her belief system, which valued purity and innocence, it boiled down to a clear right and wrong. Loving one woman while marrying another, no matter how practical it seemed, was a sin with no chance of forgiveness.
"Men make their own fate; it is for them to choose. No one need make mistakes with their eyes open," continued the girl, with a little impatience and scorn of this matter-of-fact philosophy. "If they make a poor thing of their own life it is not for them to complain."
"Men create their own destiny; it’s up to them to decide. No one has to make mistakes if they're aware," the girl continued, showing a bit of impatience and disdain for this practical perspective. "If they mess up their own life, they have no right to complain."
"Ah, you are hard on us. You are only a girl; you do not know," returned the young man, looking down from the altitude of his superior wisdom into Queenie's wide-open indignant eyes with exasperating calmness. "Your life compared to ours is like a mill-stream beside a rushing river: one is all movement; the strong currents draw hither and thither."
"Wow, you’re really tough on us. You’re just a girl; you have no idea," the young man replied, looking down from his high ground of wisdom into Queenie's wide-open, indignant eyes with an annoying calmness. "Your life compared to ours is like a slow stream next to a fast-flowing river: one is all about movement; the strong currents pull this way and that."
"The mill-stream is often the deeper," was the petulant answer.
"The mill-stream is usually the deeper," was the annoyed reply.
Garth laughed; he was not at all discomposed by Queenie's impatient argument. He would have enjoyed having it out with her if he had had time, but, as he told himself, he had more important business in hand.
Garth laughed; he wasn't bothered at all by Queenie's impatient argument. He would have liked to discuss it further with her if he had more time, but, as he reminded himself, he had more important things to deal with.
"By-the-bye, you are making me waste my precious moments as usual," he observed, good-humoredly; "and I have never given you Langley's message. She and Cathy want you to come up to our place this evening; they think the cottage must be so dull now your guests have gone."
"By the way, you're making me waste my precious time again," he said with a smile; "and I haven't told you Langley's message. She and Cathy want you to come over to our place this evening; they think the cottage must be pretty boring now that your guests have left."
"How kind and thoughtful of Langley!" returned Queenie; and now the brown eyes had a happy sparkle in them. There was no place so dear to her as Church-Stile House. If Garth could only have known it!
"How kind and thoughtful of Langley!" Queenie replied, her brown eyes sparkling with happiness. There was no place she held dearer than Church-Stile House. If only Garth had known that!
"You will be doing them a kindness by cheering them up a little, as both Ted and I will be away. Have you heard," he continued, gravely, "that they are rather in trouble at Crossgill Vicarage. I had a letter this morning from Dora, I mean Miss Cunningham," went on Garth, coloring a little bashfully over his mistake.
"You'll be doing them a favor by cheering them up a bit since both Ted and I will be away. Have you heard," he continued seriously, "that they're having some trouble at Crossgill Vicarage? I got a letter this morning from Dora, I mean Miss Cunningham," Garth added, blushing a little shyly over his slip.
"Are you going there? I hope there is not much the matter," asked Queenie, in a measured voice. There was no sparkle now in her eyes. The evening was to be spent without him; and then Miss Cunningham had written to him at the first hint of trouble. She had sought him, and not Langley.
"Are you going there? I hope nothing serious is wrong," Queenie asked, her voice calm. There was no sparkle in her eyes now. The evening would be spent without him; and Miss Cunningham had reached out to him at the first sign of trouble. She had looked for him, not Langley.
"Oh, as to that, she does not say much in her letter. Miss Cunningham is not one to make a fuss about anything. It is Florence who is ill, and she and her father mean to go over to Brussels. Stay, I have her note here," producing it from his breast-pocket. "You can judge for yourself there is not much in it; but then Miss Cunningham is one of the quiet sort."
"Oh, she doesn’t say much about that in her letter. Miss Cunningham isn’t one to make a fuss over anything. It’s Florence who is sick, and she and her dad plan to head to Brussels. Wait, I have her note here," he said, pulling it from his breast pocket. "You can see for yourself that there isn’t much in it, but then again, Miss Cunningham is the quiet type."
Queenie took the note "a little reluctantly. Dora wrote a large, business-like hand. Those firm, well-formed characters had nothing irresolute in them. It was curt and concise.
Queenie took the note a little reluctantly. Dora wrote in a large, business-like style. Those firm, well-formed letters were anything but hesitant. It was brief and to the point.
"Dear Mr. Clayton," it began, "my father wishes you to know that we have had bad news from Brussels. Darling Flo is very ill. Madame Shleïfer says it is typhoid fever; but as there are no unfavorable symptoms, there is nothing serious to be apprehended. One must make allowances for Beattie's nervousness; girls of seventeen are apt to exaggerate. Still papa and I cannot help feeling anxious, and we shall start by the early train to-morrow. If you could come over this evening we shall be glad, as papa wants to consult you about a little business. The porch-room shall be got ready for you, as I know you will make an effort to come to us in our trouble."
"Dear Mr. Clayton," it started, "my father wants you to know that we received some bad news from Brussels. Darling Flo is very ill. Madame Shleïfer says it’s typhoid fever; but since there are no serious symptoms, there’s nothing to really worry about. One has to take Beattie's nervousness into account; girls at seventeen tend to exaggerate. Still, my dad and I can’t help feeling anxious, so we’ll be taking the early train tomorrow. If you could come over this evening, we’d appreciate it, as Dad wants to discuss a little business with you. The porch-room will be prepared for you, as I know you’ll try to come help us through this difficult time."
"She does not say very much, but one can read between the lines. Florence is the youngest sister, and her favorite. I know she is terribly anxious," observed Garth, as Queenie returned the note in silence. "Well, I must be off; my trap will be round directly. You three girls will have a cosy evening without me I expect. Good-bye till to-morrow," and Garth touched his felt hat and ran down the lane.
"She doesn’t say much, but you can read between the lines. Florence is the youngest sister, and she’s Garth's favorite. I know she’s really anxious," Garth observed as Queenie silently handed back the note. "Well, I have to go; my ride will be here soon. You three will probably have a nice evening without me, I guess. Bye for now," and Garth tipped his hat and jogged down the lane.
"He might have shaken hands," thought Queenie, as she walked slowly back into the cottage.
"He could have shaken hands," thought Queenie, as she walked slowly back into the cottage.
The empty room felt very dull, but still it would have been better there than in Church-Stile House without him. On the whole, the evening was a failure. Cathy was in one of her quiet moods, and could not be roused into interest about anything. Langley looked paler than usual, and complained of head-ache, and Emmie was listless and restless. As for Queenie, she took herself to task severely for all manner of miserable fancies as she walked back to the cottage in the darkness.
The empty room felt pretty boring, but it was still better than being at Church-Stile House without him. Overall, the evening was a flop. Cathy was in one of her quiet moods and couldn’t be stirred to care about anything. Langley looked paler than usual and complained of a headache, while Emmie was both listless and restless. As for Queenie, she punished herself harshly for all sorts of miserable thoughts as she walked back to the cottage in the dark.
"What is the use of your perpetually crying for the moon?" she said indignantly to herself. "Are you going to spoil your life and other people's with such nonsense? It is not for you to say that he is marrying the wrong woman. She is a hundred times superior to you, and I suppose he thinks so. Why is he to be blamed because he sees no beauty in your little brown face? You are nothing to him but Miss Marriott, the village school-mistress."
"What’s the point of constantly wishing for the impossible?" she said angrily to herself. "Are you going to ruin your life and others' with such foolishness? It's not up to you to claim that he's marrying the wrong woman. She's way better than you, and I guess he thinks so too. Why should he be blamed for not seeing beauty in your plain face? To him, you’re just Miss Marriott, the village schoolteacher."
But that would not do, so she began again, looking at herself in the glass and crying softly. "Yes, you are a poor thing, and I pity you, but I am disappointed in you as well. You are not a bit better or more to be trusted than other girls. You know you are jealous of this Dora Cunningham; that you hate the very sound of her name, as though she had not a better right to him than you. Has she not known him all her life? and could she know him without loving him? Why," with a little sob, that sounded very pathetic in the silence, "as though any one could help it. Even Emmie loves him, and follows him about like a dog everywhere. I am not a bit ashamed of my affection for him. I would rather live lonely, as I shall live, and care about him in the way I do, receiving little daily kindnesses at his hand, than marry any other man. It is not much of a life perhaps," went on the girl, with a broken breath or two; "it does not hold as much as other people's; but such as it is, I would rather live it than go away elsewhere, and forget, and perhaps be forgotten."
But that wouldn’t work, so she started again, looking at herself in the mirror and crying softly. “Yes, you’re a poor thing, and I feel sorry for you, but I’m disappointed in you too. You’re no better or more trustworthy than any other girls. You know you’re jealous of this Dora Cunningham; you hate the very sound of her name, as if she doesn’t have just as much right to him as you do. Hasn’t she known him all her life? And couldn’t she love him without question? Why,” with a little sob that sounded really sad in the silence, “as if anyone could help it. Even Emmie loves him and follows him around like a dog everywhere. I’m not ashamed of my feelings for him at all. I would rather live alone, as I will live, and care about him the way I do, receiving little daily kindnesses from him, than marry any other man. It may not be much of a life,” the girl continued, catching her breath a couple of times, “it doesn’t have as much as other people’s lives; but as it is, I’d rather live it than go somewhere else, forget, and maybe be forgotten.”
Queenie was preaching a desolate little sermon to herself, but it edified and comforted her. It was only the eddying of the mill-stream when a stone had been flung into it, she told herself by-and-bye. She would be reasonable, and cease to rebel against an inevitable fate.
Queenie was giving herself a gloomy little pep talk, but it lifted her spirits and brought her comfort. She told herself it was just the ripples in the stream when a stone had been thrown into it. She decided to be rational and stop fighting against her unavoidable fate.
Garth's evening promised to be more successful. He had driven himself up to the Vicarage in the red sunset light that he loved, and Dora had come out into the porch to welcome him with her sweetest smile.
Garth's evening was looking more promising. He had driven himself up to the Vicarage in the beautiful red sunset light he loved, and Dora had stepped out onto the porch to greet him with her brightest smile.
"How good of you to come! papa and I both wanted you so," putting up a white little hand to stroke the mare's glossy coat. "Poor old Bess, how hot she looks, and how fast you must have driven her; you are quite twenty minutes before the time we expected you."
"How great that you came! Dad and I really wanted you to," she said, raising a small white hand to pet the mare's shiny coat. "Poor old Bess, she looks so hot, and you must have driven her really hard; you're almost twenty minutes earlier than we expected you."
"Have you been looking out for me? I am glad I was wanted," returned Garth, leaning down to take possession of the little hand. "I suppose Bess and I were both in a hurry to be here," he continued, as he looked down with kindly scrutiny at the dainty figure beside him.
"Have you been waiting for me? I’m happy to know I was missed," Garth replied, leaning down to hold the little hand. "I guess Bess and I were both eager to be here," he added, looking down with a warm gaze at the delicate figure next to him.
Dora was a little paler than usual, and the blue eyes were a trifle heavy, but somehow her appearance had never pleased him better. She had dressed herself with even greater care than was customary with her. The soft cream-colored dress, with its graceful folds, rested the eye with a sense of fitness. One tiny rosebud gave a mere hint of color.
Dora looked a bit paler than usual, and her blue eyes seemed a little heavy, but for some reason, she had never looked better to him. She had put even more effort into getting ready than she usually did. The soft cream-colored dress, with its elegant folds, was pleasing to the eye and felt just right. A single tiny rosebud added just a touch of color.
"I am glad you wanted me," he went on, with a little stress on the personal pronoun. "I must have been engaged indeed to have remained away at such a time."
"I’m glad you wanted me," he continued, putting a bit of emphasis on the personal pronoun. "I must have really been busy to have stayed away at a time like this."
"Yes, indeed. Poor papa, and poor dear Flo!" returned Dora, earnestly, leading him into the hall. "How could we help being very anxious and unhappy, and after Beattie's miserable letter too? But that is the worst of girls; they cannot help exaggerating things."
"Yes, absolutely. Poor Dad, and poor Flo!" Dora replied earnestly, guiding him into the hallway. "How could we not be really worried and upset, especially after Beattie's awful letter? But that's the problem with girls; they just can’t help blowing things out of proportion."
"I was afraid from what you said that poor Florence is very ill."
"I was worried by what you said that poor Florence is really sick."
"She is ill, of course; one is always afraid of typhoid fever for a growing girl; and then papa has such a horror of German doctors. I must confess myself that I have every faith in Madame Shleïfer—such a judicious, temperate letter, and so different to poor Beattie's, who is crying herself to sleep every night, and making herself ill."
"She is sick, of course; there’s always a concern about typhoid fever for a young girl; and then dad has such a fear of German doctors. I have to admit that I have complete faith in Madame Shleïfer—such a sensible, calm letter, and so different from poor Beattie's, who cries herself to sleep every night and is making herself sick."
"But Madame Shleïfer does not love Florence as Beatrix does; she is liable to take alarm less easily," returned Garth, moved at this picture of the warm-hearted, impetuous girl he remembered so well.
"But Madame Shleïfer doesn't love Florence like Beatrix does; she's less likely to get alarmed easily," Garth replied, touched by the image of the warm-hearted, impulsive girl he remembered so well.
"Beatrix's affection is not greater than ours," replied Dora, calmly. "Florence is the youngest, and I have brought her up from such a child. It is inconsiderate and a pity to write like that, and has upset papa dreadfully; but, as I told him, it was only Beatrix's way. I am afraid you will not find us very cheerful company to-night," looking up with a certain bright dewiness in her eyes—not exactly tears, but a suspicion of them.
"Beatrix's feelings aren’t any stronger than ours," replied Dora, calmly. "Florence is the youngest, and I've raised her from when she was a child. It’s thoughtless and unfortunate to write like that, and it has really upset Dad; but, as I told him, that’s just how Beatrix is. I'm afraid you won’t find us very cheerful company tonight," she said, looking up with a certain bright glimmer in her eyes—not quite tears, but close to them.
Dora never cried, as he knew he had once heard her say that it never mended matters, and only spoiled the complexion; but as she looked up at him now with a certain unbending of the lip, and a shining mist in her blue eyes, he felt himself touched and softened.
Dora never cried because she once said that it never solved anything and only ruined her complexion; but as she looked up at him now with a slight quiver of her lip and a glistening mist in her blue eyes, he felt himself moved and softened.
"I cannot bear to see you in such trouble," he said, with involuntary tenderness in his tone.
"I can't stand seeing you in such trouble," he said, with an unintentional softness in his voice.
"I knew you would be sorry for us," she returned simply, not moving away from him, but taking the sympathy as though it belonged to her of right. "It was so good of you to come all this distance just for papa and me."
"I knew you would feel sorry for us," she replied quietly, not stepping away from him, but accepting the sympathy as if it was rightfully hers. "It was really nice of you to come all this way just for my dad and me."
CHAPTER XIV.
"IT MUST BE YEA, YEA, OR NAY, NAY, WITH ME."
"Silent she had been, but she raised her face;
'And will you end,' said she, 'this half-told tale?'"
Jean Ingelow.
"She had been quiet, but she lifted her face;
'And will you finish,' she said, 'this unfinished story?'"
Jean Ingelow.
Garth felt a little excited as he went up to the porch-room to dress for dinner; to put on his war-paint as he told himself with a little grimace. Garth was a handsome man, and he never looked better than when he was in evening dress. Though he had less personal vanity than most men, he was in some measure conscious of his advantages, and on this occasion he was a little fastidious as to the set of his collar and the manipulation of his tie.
Garth felt a bit excited as he headed up to the porch-room to get ready for dinner; to put on his "war paint," as he jokingly thought with a slight grimace. Garth was a good-looking guy, and he never looked better than when he wore evening attire. Although he had less vanity than most men, he was somewhat aware of his good looks, and this time he was a bit particular about how his collar sat and how he tied his tie.
The porch-room had always been allotted to him on the rare occasions when he slept at the vicarage. The best bed-room was always apportioned to more formal guests, but Garth much preferred his old quarters. The little room with its pink and white draperies fragrant with lavender, and its lozenge-paned lattice swinging open on the roses and clematis, and other sweet-smelling creepers, always reminded him of Dora. There was a portrait of her in crayons hanging over the mantel-shelf, taken when she was many years younger, with golden hair floating round her like a halo, the round white arms half hidden under a fleecy scarf—a charming sketch half idealized, and yet true to the real Dora. Garth leant his arms against the high wooden mantelpiece and contemplated the drawing for some minutes.
The porch room had always been assigned to him on the rare occasions he stayed at the vicarage. The best bedroom was reserved for more formal guests, but Garth much preferred his old room. The small space, with its pink and white curtains scented with lavender, and its window with diamond-shaped panes opening onto the roses, clematis, and other fragrant vines, always reminded him of Dora. There was a crayon portrait of her hanging over the mantel, taken when she was much younger, with golden hair surrounding her like a halo, and her round white arms half hidden under a fluffy scarf—a charming sketch that was somewhat idealized yet still true to the real Dora. Garth leaned his arms against the high wooden mantel and contemplated the drawing for several minutes.
"She is prettier than ever to-night," he soliloquized. "No one would think she was seven-and-twenty to look at her this evening. She is just the woman never to look her age; she is so thoroughly healthy in her tone of mind; she has none of the morbid fancies and over-strained nerves that make other women so haggard and worn. Look at Langley, for example, getting grey at thirty. Poor dear Langley! that was a bad business of hers and Chester's.
"She looks more beautiful than ever tonight," he thought to himself. "You wouldn't guess she was twenty-seven by how she looks this evening. She's the kind of woman who never appears to age; her mindset is so healthy. She doesn’t have the negative thoughts and stress that make other women look so tired and worn out. Just look at Langley, for instance, going grey at thirty. Poor Langley! That was a tough situation with her and Chester."
"And then Dora always dresses so perfectly; there is a good deal in that, I believe. Many pretty women are slovens or absolutely tasteless. I should hate that in my wife. I never saw Dora look otherwise than charming, this evening especially. She never wears things that rustle or fall stiffly, she and Miss Marriott are alike in that. By-the-bye, how that girl looked at me this afternoon as she handed me back Dora's letter. There was a sort of pained, beseeching expression in her eyes that I could not make out, and which haunts me rather. I have a notion that she is not quite so happy as she used to be, and yet it must be my fancy. Well, I won't think about that this evening, I am always questioning Miss Marriott's looks. I want to make up my mind if it would not be as well to say something to Dora; if things are to be it would be just as well to feel one's way a little. I have a notion this shilly-shallying may lead to some sort of mischief presently. I never knew quite how I stand with her and what is expected of me. If a thing is to be done one need not take all one's life doing it," finished Garth, pulling himself together with a quick movement as though he would shake the courage and determination into him.
"And then Dora always dresses so perfectly; I think there's a lot to that. Many pretty women are messy or totally lack style. I would hate that in my wife. I've never seen Dora look anything but charming, especially this evening. She never wears anything that rustles or feels stiff; she and Miss Marriott are the same in that regard. By the way, the way that girl looked at me this afternoon when she gave me back Dora's letter was something. There was a kind of pained, pleading look in her eyes that I couldn't figure out, and it keeps bothering me. I have a feeling she’s not as happy as she used to be, but maybe that's just my imagination. Well, I won't think about that tonight; I always analyze Miss Marriott's expressions. I want to decide if it would be a good idea to say something to Dora; if something is meant to happen, it would be smart to test the waters a bit. I have a feeling this indecisiveness might lead to some trouble soon. I've never really understood where I stand with her and what she expects from me. If something is supposed to happen, you shouldn't spend your whole life making it happen," Garth concluded, gathering himself with a quick movement as if trying to shake some courage and determination into himself.
"Men make their own fate, it is for them to choose; no one need make mistakes with their eyes open." Why did that speech of Queenie's suddenly recur to him? "If they make a poor thing of their own life it is not for them to complain." The little protest came to him almost painfully as the gong sounded, and he went down-stairs.
"People create their own destiny, it's up to them to decide; no one has to mess up if they know what they're doing." Why did Queenie's words suddenly come back to him? "If they ruin their own life, they have no right to complain." The small protest hit him almost painfully as the gong rang, and he went downstairs.
Dora looked up at him rather curiously from under her white eyelids as he came into the room, holding his head high and carrying himself as though he knew the world was before him. He returned Mr. Cunningham's affectionate greeting in a frank, off-hand way.
Dora looked up at him with curiosity from beneath her white eyelids as he entered the room, walking in confidently as if he knew the world was open to him. He responded to Mr. Cunningham's warm greeting casually and straightforwardly.
"Well, Garth, you are rather a stranger to the vicarage; but I am glad to see you here again, my dear fellow. How are the sisters? and how is that young scapegrace of a Ted?"
"Well, Garth, you’re quite a stranger to the vicarage; but I’m happy to see you here again, my friend. How are the sisters? And how is that young troublemaker, Ted?"
"All well, and I only wish you could say the same, Mr. Cunningham," began Garth heartily; but, as the Vicar sighed heavily, Dora shook her fair head at him.
"All good, and I just wish you could say the same, Mr. Cunningham," Garth started cheerfully; but, as the Vicar sighed deeply, Dora shook her beautiful head at him.
"Poor dear Flo!" she said softly, as though speaking out her father's thought. "But papa must eat his dinner, and then he has some business on which to consult you, Mr. Clayton; troubles will always keep, and it is no good papa spoiling his digestion by dwelling on them, is it?" finished Dora with tranquil philosophy, and Garth took the hint.
"Poor dear Flo!" she said gently, as if echoing her father's thoughts. "But Dad has to have his dinner, and then he needs to discuss some business with you, Mr. Clayton; problems can wait, and there’s no point in Dad ruining his digestion by worrying about them, right?" Dora concluded with calm reasoning, and Garth picked up on the hint.
There was no sad talk after that. The Vicar still shook his head lugubriously at intervals, but he did ample justice to the excellent repast before him, and even brought up some Hermitage with his own hands for Garth to taste.
There was no more sad talk after that. The Vicar still shook his head gloomily at times, but he fully enjoyed the excellent meal in front of him and even poured some Hermitage himself for Garth to try.
The young man drank it with a little show of indifference, more assumed than real. It was not that the rarity and flavor of Mr. Cunningham's wine pleased him, but that the attention shown him made him a little dizzy. More than once some favorite dish for which he had expressed a predilection had been brought to him.
The young man drank it with a bit of indifference, more pretend than genuine. It wasn't that Mr. Cunningham's wine was rare and flavorful that impressed him, but rather the attention he was getting made him feel a bit dizzy. More than once, his favorite dish, which he had mentioned liking, had been brought to him.
"I knew you would like this Mayonnaise. Mrs. Gilbert has made it exactly to your taste," Dora said to him with an engaging smile.
"I knew you would love this mayonnaise. Mrs. Gilbert made it just the way you like it," Dora said to him with a charming smile.
Garth, who was only human, and not yet thirty, felt the delicate flattery thrill through him like a personal compliment.
Garth, who was just human and not yet thirty, felt the subtle flattery rush through him like a personal compliment.
He was sorry when Dora left the room, and Mr. Cunningham drew his chair nearer and plunged into the business that required his assistance. With all his good nature and natural aptitude for these sort of things, he found it very difficult to lend his undivided attention. "Why did she prepare that pudding with the pine-apple sauce with her own hands, because Mrs. Gilbert would have spoiled it?" he thought, as he balanced his spoon idly on the edge of his coffee-cup, thereby imperilling Mr. Cunningham's favorite Wedgewood. She had never condescended to show him such honor before; no wonder he was dizzy, and turned rather a deaf ear on the Vicar's tedious explanations. His absent, fidgetty demeanor attracted the attention of his host after a time.
He felt regret when Dora left the room, and Mr. Cunningham pulled his chair closer and got into the business that needed his help. Despite his good nature and natural skill for these kinds of tasks, he found it hard to pay full attention. "Why did she make that pudding with the pineapple sauce herself, when Mrs. Gilbert would have ruined it?" he wondered, as he idly balanced his spoon on the edge of his coffee cup, risking Mr. Cunningham's favorite Wedgewood. She had never honored him like that before; it's no surprise he was dazed and was only half-listening to the Vicar's long-winded explanations. After a while, his distracted and restless demeanor caught his host's attention.
"I am keeping you too long with all these bothering details, you want to be in the next room," he said, with a meaning smile, over which the young man blushed hotly.
"I’m taking up too much of your time with all these annoying details; you want to be in the next room," he said with a knowing smile, making the young man blush deeply.
"Not until you have finished with me. Is there anything more that I can do in your absence?" he stammered, feeling a little foolish and crest-fallen.
"Not until you've wrapped things up with me. Is there anything else I can do while you're gone?" he stammered, feeling a bit foolish and downcast.
"No, no; Beale can do the rest. Get along with you, and tell Dora to let me know when tea is ready," and the Vicar flung his cambric handkerchief over his white head and composed himself for a nap.
"No, no; Beale can handle the rest. Go on and tell Dora to let me know when tea is ready," and the Vicar tossed his delicate handkerchief over his white head and settled in for a nap.
Garth had not quite got rid of his flush when he opened the drawing-room door. Mr. Cunningham's smile had rather daunted him, but Dora gave him a bright little glance as he entered.
Garth still had a bit of a flush when he opened the drawing-room door. Mr. Cunningham's smile had made him a bit nervous, but Dora gave him a cheerful glance as he walked in.
"How long you and papa have been over your stupid business! I am so tired of being alone," she said, welcoming the truant with a fascinating attempt at a pout.
"How long have you and Dad been caught up in your ridiculous business! I'm really tired of being alone," she said, greeting the latecomer with a captivating pout.
The shaded lamps had been lighted in the Vicarage drawing-room; there was a burnished gleam of silver and china on the little square tea-table. A wood fire had been kindled on the hearth, but the windows and the glass door of the conservatory were open. Dora sat in her low carved chair with her lap full of silks and crewels.
The lamps were lit in the Vicarage living room; there was a shiny gleam of silver and china on the small square tea table. A wood fire was going on the hearth, but the windows and the glass door of the conservatory were open. Dora sat in her low, carved chair with her lap full of fabrics and embroidery threads.
"I wanted to get away. I think your father saw that at last, for he set me free. I am afraid he thought me very inattentive," replied Garth, taking up his favorite position against the mantel-piece.
"I wanted to escape. I think your dad finally noticed that, because he let me go. I'm afraid he thought I was really spacey," replied Garth, leaning against the mantelpiece in his usual spot.
He was still a little flushed, more from that smile than the Hermitage, and his eyes had a quick excited gleam in them. Dora understood it all perfectly, but she was quite mistress of the situation. Woman-like, she felt a little triumph in the exercise of her power.
He was still a bit flushed, more from that smile than from the Hermitage, and his eyes had a quick, excited gleam. Dora understood everything perfectly, but she was completely in control of the situation. Like any woman, she felt a little thrill in exercising her power.
"If I were to yield another hair's-breadth there is no telling what the foolish fellow would do," she thought, not without a quickening of the pulse under those intent looks. The danger had a subtle sweetness even for her, though she was too self-controlled to be swayed by it.
"If I give in even a little bit more, who knows what that fool will do," she thought, feeling her heart race under those intense gazes. The risk had a subtle allure even for her, although she was too composed to be influenced by it.
"Do sit down; you are so tall that it quite makes me ache to look up at you," she said, with that pretty attempt at a pout; "and then I want to speak to you seriously."
"Please take a seat; you’re so tall that it actually makes my neck hurt to look up at you," she said, with a cute little pout; "and I need to talk to you about something important."
Garth might be pardoned if he took that petulant command as an invitation to draw his chair rather closely. But though Dora saw her mistake she went on calmly, quite ignoring the near neighborhood of the infatuated young man.
Garth could be forgiven for interpreting that sulky command as a signal to pull his chair in closer. But even though Dora recognized her error, she continued on calmly, completely ignoring the close presence of the lovesick young man.
"When one sees a thing clearly it is always best to speak of it," began Dora, busily sorting her crewels, and making believe not to notice that Garth had his elbow on the back of her chair. "Langley is too lenient, and then Miss Cosie is not one for lecturing; but still some one ought to speak."
"When you see something clearly, it's always best to talk about it," Dora started, busy organizing her thread and pretending not to notice that Garth had his elbow resting on the back of her chair. "Langley is too easygoing, and Miss Cosie isn't one for giving lectures; but still, someone should really say something."
"On what subject?" demanded Garth absently. He was wondering how he ought to begin.
"On what topic?" Garth asked absently. He was thinking about how he should start.
"Why, on the subject of Miss Marriott's dress, of course," returned Dora briskly and with emphasis. "If no one will speak, neither Langley nor Miss Cosie, and then Cathy is such a child, it seems to me as though I ought not to keep silence."
"Well, regarding Miss Marriott’s dress, of course," replied Dora energetically and with emphasis. "If no one else will say anything, neither Langley nor Miss Cosie, and Cathy is just so naïve, it feels like I shouldn't stay quiet."
"Miss Marriott's dress!" interrupted Garth in an astonished voice. "Why, Dora, what can you be meaning? The subject has nothing to do with us—with you and me—at all."
"Miss Marriott's dress!" Garth interrupted in shock. "What do you mean, Dora? This topic has nothing to do with us—neither you nor me."
"Every subject has to do with me that touches on questions of right and wrong," she returned with dignity. "I consider Miss Marriott's general style of dress and appearance is perfectly unsuitable to a village school-mistress, and sets the worst possible example to the grown-up girls in Hepshaw."
"Every topic that relates to right and wrong concerns me," she replied with dignity. "I believe Miss Marriott's overall style of dress and appearance is completely inappropriate for a village schoolmistress and sets the worst possible example for the young women in Hepshaw."
"This is perfectly incomprehensible," he replied, secretly exasperated by the turn the conversation was taking, and rather resenting this undeserved attack on his protégée. "Langley and I are always praising Miss Marriott's quiet, unobtrusive style."
"This is completely baffling," he replied, secretly frustrated by the direction the conversation was heading, and somewhat resenting this unfair assault on his protégé. "Langley and I always commend Miss Marriott's subtle, understated style."
"One knows what to expect of a gentleman when there is a pretty face in question," retorted Dora, with a touch of scorn in her voice. "Not that I call Miss Marriott pretty. She has such singular eyes, and then I never admire a brown skin. But I must own I thought better things of Langley."
"One knows what to expect from a gentleman when there's a pretty face involved," Dora shot back, with a hint of disdain in her tone. "Not that I think Miss Marriott is pretty. She has such unique eyes, and I never admire a brown complexion. But I have to admit I expected more from Langley."
"I am completely at sea," returned Garth, lifting his eyebrows in comical perplexity.
"I’m totally lost," Garth replied, raising his eyebrows in a funny way that showed his confusion.
That little speech of Dora's about Miss Marriott's eyes and brown skin amused him. Could she be jealous of the young stranger he had taken under his brotherly protection? Garth's elbow rested still more comfortably on the back of her chair as this little bit of self-flattery intruded itself.
That little speech of Dora's about Miss Marriott's eyes and brown skin made him laugh. Could she really be jealous of the young stranger he had taken under his protective wing? Garth's elbow settled even more comfortably on the back of her chair as this bit of self-praise crossed his mind.
"I always see Miss Marriott in a plain black stuff gown, with just a bit of white lace or frilling round her throat. I don't see how any one could dress more plainly."
"I always see Miss Marriott in a simple black dress, with just a touch of white lace or frill around her neck. I don’t know how anyone could dress more plainly."
"That shows how much you men notice things," returned Dora still more scornfully, and somewhat irate at his incredulity. Garth was never very easy to convince, "Black stuff! a fine cashmere, that cost four shillings a yard if it cost a penny, and looking as if it were made by the most finished dress-maker in Carlisle, and a Leghorn hat trimmed with an ostrich feather."
"That just shows how much you guys pay attention to things," Dora shot back even more disdainfully, a bit annoyed at his disbelief. Garth was never easy to convince. "Black stuff! It's fine cashmere that cost four shillings a yard, if it cost anything at all, and it looks like it was made by the best dressmaker in Carlisle, along with a Leghorn hat decorated with an ostrich feather."
Garth looked a little sheepish at this. The feather had certainly non-plussed him. It was quite true that during the last few Sundays Miss Marriott had appeared in church in a shady hat with a long drooping feather that had suited her remarkably well.
Garth looked a bit embarrassed by this. The feather had definitely thrown him off. It was true that over the past few Sundays, Miss Marriott had shown up at church in a stylish hat with a long drooping feather that suited her really well.
"I cannot deny the feather," he rejoined, with a rueful smile at his defeat.
"I can't deny the feather," he replied, giving a wry smile at his loss.
The admission mollified Dora.
The admission eased Dora's mind.
"And then her boots and gloves—best Paris kid, and boots that look certainly as though they were from a French maker. Ah, you cannot deceive me! Do you think such a fine lady is likely to benefit the village girls? Why, if Miss Stapleton were to mount a feather like that papa and I would be down upon her at once."
"And then her boots and gloves—best Paris kid, and boots that definitely look like they’re from a French designer. Ah, you can’t fool me! Do you really think such a fancy lady is going to help the village girls? Honestly, if Miss Stapleton were to wear a feather like that, my dad and I would be all over her immediately."
"I should not compare Miss Marriott and Miss Stapleton," a little testily. "Miss Marriott is better born and educated. She is a country vicar's daughter. I am sure that you cannot deny that she is a perfect gentlewoman."
"I shouldn't compare Miss Marriott and Miss Stapleton," he said with a bit of irritation. "Miss Marriott comes from a better background and has a better education. She is the daughter of a country vicar. I’m sure you can’t deny that she is a true gentlewoman."
"I do not deny that she is a very pleasant-mannered, well-looking young woman," returned Dora, in an aggravating manner, crossing her plump hands on her lap and looking up at Garth serenely. "I take a great interest in Miss Marriott, not only for her own sake, but because she is yours and Langley's protégée. When one sees a thing is wrong it is a duty to speak, and I hope I shall always do my duty," finished Dora, virtuously.
"I won’t deny that she’s a really nice, pretty young woman," Dora said in an irritating way, crossing her chubby hands in her lap and gazing up at Garth calmly. "I’m very interested in Miss Marriott, not just because of her, but because she’s your and Langley’s protégée. When you see something’s not right, it’s your responsibility to say something, and I hope I always live up to that," Dora concluded, with a virtuous tone.
Garth was silent. He was quite used to these sort of lectures from the young mistress of Crossgill Vicarage. It had long been an admitted fact between them that her mission extended to Hepshaw. The village school-mistresses had been perpetual thorns in her side; their dress and demeanor, their teaching and morals, had always been carefully investigated. The last Hepshaw mistress had been a weak, pale-eyed creature, with no will of her own, and no particular views,—a washed-out piece of humanity, as Garth termed her,—but highly esteemed and lamented by Miss Cunningham.
Garth was quiet. He was used to these kinds of lectures from the young mistress of Crossgill Vicarage. It had long been accepted between them that her mission included Hepshaw. The village school mistresses had always been a constant annoyance to her; their appearance and behavior, their teaching methods and values, had always been scrutinized. The last Hepshaw mistress had been a weak, pale-eyed woman, with no will of her own and no particular opinions—an insignificant person, as Garth called her—but greatly valued and mourned by Miss Cunningham.
Garth could not forbear a smile of secret amusement at Dora's persevering efforts to draw Miss Marriott under her yoke. The contest between the two interested and provoked him. He had taken upon himself to lecture Queenie on her stiff-necked demeanor towards Miss Cunningham, and now he was ready to take up cudgels in her defence.
Garth couldn't help but smile secretly at Dora's determined attempts to influence Miss Marriott. The rivalry between the two intrigued and annoyed him. He had made it his mission to talk to Queenie about her stubborn attitude towards Miss Cunningham, and now he was prepared to defend her.
"I think you are a little hard upon her," he began at last slowly, and then he stopped.
"I think you're being a bit harsh on her," he finally started to say slowly, and then he paused.
Why should he concern himself with things so wholly feminine? most likely Dora was right, at least he had never found her wrong in anything yet. Perhaps that drooping hat and feather might be a snare to the female population of Hepshaw. It had startled even him as she had walked up the aisle that Sunday. Let them fight it out; he was not sitting there in that lamp-lit fragrant drawing-room to talk about Miss Marriott. He was Dora's guest, summoned there by her own will and behest. Mr. Cunningham did not often leave them alone like this, the opportunity was too precious to be wasted.
Why should he worry about things that were so obviously feminine? Dora was probably right; he had never found her wrong about anything so far. Maybe that drooping hat and feather could attract the women of Hepshaw. It had even surprised him when she walked down the aisle that Sunday. Let them sort it out; he wasn’t sitting in that lamp-lit, fragrant living room to talk about Miss Marriott. He was Dora's guest, brought there by her own wishes. Mr. Cunningham didn’t often leave them alone like this; the chance was too valuable to let slip away.
Garth moved a little restlessly as he pondered thus with his arm against Dora's chair. The shapely head was very close to him. For the first time he felt an irresistible impulse to touch the smooth coil of fair hair with his hand, it looked as fine and silky as a child's.
Garth shifted slightly as he thought, his arm resting against Dora's chair. Her beautiful head was right next to him. For the first time, he felt an overwhelming urge to touch the smooth coil of her fair hair; it looked as fine and silky as a child's.
"Dora," he began, and then again he stopped. "Dora," and this time he came a little closer, almost leaning over her, but not touching her, "shall things be different between you and me?"
"Dora," he started, then paused again. "Dora," and this time he moved a bit closer, almost leaning over her, but not making contact, "will things be different between us?"
He had taken her by surprise, and for an instant she turned pale, but she recovered herself immediately.
He caught her off guard, and for a moment she went pale, but she quickly regained her composure.
"Mr. Clayton," she returned, carefully avoiding his eyes, and sorting her crewels industriously, "I thought I had broken you of that foolish habit of calling me Dora."
"Mr. Clayton," she replied, carefully avoiding his gaze and busily sorting her threads, "I thought I had gotten you to stop that silly habit of calling me Dora."
Garth drew back, stung by her tone.
Garth stepped back, hurt by her tone.
"What does that mean?" he inquired hotly. "If I am not to call you Dora how are things to be put straight between us? I thought we understood each other, and that the time had come for me to speak. What does this mean?" continued the fiery young man, twisting his moustache in sudden excitement and wrath.
"What does that mean?" he asked angrily. "If I can't call you Dora, how are we supposed to clear things up between us? I thought we understood each other, and that it was time for me to talk. What does this mean?" the passionate young man continued, twisting his mustache in sudden excitement and anger.
"Did you think to-night was a fitting opportunity," inquired Dora with mournful gentleness, "with poor darling Flo, and papa in such a state? How could you be so inconsiderate and selfish," looking at him with appealing blue eyes.
"Did you think tonight was a good time," asked Dora with sad kindness, "with poor sweet Flo, and dad in such a state? How could you be so thoughtless and selfish," she said, looking at him with her pleading blue eyes.
But Garth's feelings had been outraged, and no soft looks could mollify him. He was a well-meaning, plain-spoken young fellow, and he had brought himself with much searching of conscience to the brink of an honest resolution. Dora's coldness of rebuke had wounded his susceptibility and grazed his pride. No woman should trifle with his affections, so he told himself, and least of all his old friend Dora.
But Garth's feelings were hurt, and no kind looks could make him feel better. He was a good-hearted, straightforward young guy, and he had worked hard to come to a sincere decision. Dora's icy response had stung his sensitivity and bruised his pride. No woman should play with his feelings, he told himself, especially not his old friend Dora.
"I am sure you did not mean to be inconsiderate," she said, looking up at him with a beseeching glance.
"I’m sure you didn’t mean to be thoughtless," she said, looking up at him with a pleading expression.
"I do not know what you call want of consideration," returned Garth, with one of his rare frowns. "I should have thought if you cared for me that trouble would have drawn us closer together, that this was the time of all others to speak."
"I don’t know what you mean by lack of consideration," Garth replied with one of his rare frowns. "I would have thought that if you really cared for me, this tough time would have brought us closer together, that this was the perfect opportunity to talk."
"If I cared for you!" with reproachful sweetness. "Oh, Mr. Clayton, how can you say such harsh things? and to me of all persons in the world! Is it my fault that darling Flo is ill, and that Beattie is so young and such a wretched manager that one dares not trust things to her for a long time yet? Can I help not being my own mistress like other women, and having so many responsibilities—poor papa, and the girls, and the school, and hundreds of things?" she finished with a little pathos.
"If I really cared about you!" she said, sweetly but with a hint of reproach. "Oh, Mr. Clayton, how can you say such harsh things? And to me of all people! Is it my fault that dear Flo is sick, and that Beattie is so young and such a terrible manager that no one can trust her with everything just yet? Can I help not being in control of my own life like other women, with so many responsibilities—poor dad, the girls, the school, and so many other things?" she ended with a touch of sadness.
But Garth was not to be so easily appeased. His strong will was roused by opposition, and Dora must learn that he was not a man to be trifled with. A moment before he had felt a longing to press his lips to that smooth, golden coil, but now all such desire had left him.
But Garth was not going to be so easily calmed down. His strong will was fired up by the challenge, and Dora needed to understand that he wasn't the kind of man to mess with. Just a moment ago, he had a yearning to kiss that smooth, golden curl, but now all that desire had vanished.
"This is all nonsense," he returned, almost harshly. "We have known each other all our lives, and this has been understood between us. There are no insuperable obstacles—none, or I would not have spoken. Beatrix is seventeen, and she must learn to manage as other girls do. If you mean to sacrifice your life for a mistaken sense of duty you have no right to spoil mine with all this waiting. I am not to call you Dora; I am not to be any more to you than I have been. What does all this folly mean," finished Garth, with angry excitement.
"This is all ridiculous," he replied, almost harshly. "We’ve known each other our entire lives, and this has always been clear between us. There are no insurmountable obstacles—none, or I wouldn’t have said anything. Beatrix is seventeen, and she needs to learn to navigate life like other girls do. If you plan to sacrifice your life for a misguided sense of duty, you have no right to waste mine with all this waiting. I’m not supposed to call you Dora; I’m not supposed to be anything more to you than I’ve been. What does all this nonsense mean," Garth concluded, filled with angry excitement.
"It means that things cannot be different just now," replied Dora, with real tremulousness in her voice, and now again there came that soft mistiness in her eyes. She was not offended at her lover's plain speaking; she liked Garth all the better for that manly outburst of independence. He was a little more difficult to manage than she had thought, but she was in no fear of ultimate results; he was straining at his curb, that was all.
"It means that things can't change right now," replied Dora, her voice shaking a bit, and once again, the mistiness returned to her eyes. She wasn't upset by her lover's honesty; in fact, she appreciated Garth even more for that strong display of independence. He was a bit harder to handle than she had expected, but she had no worries about the long-term; he was just pushing against his limits, that's all.
"You must not be angry with me because I am disappointing you," she went on, laying her hand upon his coat-sleeve. "It is not my fault that everything depends on me, and that Beattie is so helpless. Of course if one could do as one wished—" and here there was a swift downward glance, but Garth broke in upon her impatiently.
"You shouldn't be mad at me for letting you down," she continued, placing her hand on his coat sleeve. "It's not my fault that everything relies on me and that Beattie is so vulnerable. Of course, if I could do what I wanted—" and here she quickly glanced down, but Garth interrupted her impatiently.
"All this is worse than nothing," observed the exasperated young man. "It must be yea, yea, or nay, nay, with me; this going backwards and forwards and holding one's faith in a leash would never do for me. How could a man answer for himself under such circumstances? If you send me away from you you will find it very hard to recall me, Dora!" with a sudden change of voice, at once injured and affectionate, and which went far to mollify the effect of his former harshness.
"All of this is worse than nothing," said the frustrated young man. "It has to be either yes or no for me; this going back and forth and keeping my beliefs on a leash just won't work. How can a person stand up for themselves in a situation like this? If you push me away, you'll find it really hard to bring me back, Dora!" he added, his voice suddenly shifting to a tone that was both hurt and affectionate, which helped soften the impact of his earlier harshness.
"You will always know I cared, and that one could not do as one wished. If we are Christians we know that duty cannot be shirked," began Dora with beautiful solemnity, and a certain brightness of earnestness in her blue eyes; but at that moment her father entered.
"You will always know I cared, and that you can't always do what you want. If we're Christians, we understand that we can't avoid our responsibilities," Dora began with a beautiful seriousness and a certain brightness in her blue eyes; but at that moment, her father walked in.
"Papa," she said, as Garth rose hastily, almost shaking off her hand in his excitement, "what a long nap you have been taking! Mr. Clayton and I have been talking for ever so long, and the tea is quite cold."
"Papa," she said, as Garth got up quickly, nearly shaking off her hand in his excitement, "you've been napping for ages! Mr. Clayton and I have been chatting for a really long time, and the tea is totally cold."
"I hope not, Dorrie," observed Mr. Cunningham, seating himself comfortably in his elbow-chair and warming his white hand over the blaze.
"I hope not, Dorrie," said Mr. Cunningham, getting comfortable in his armchair and warming his white hand over the fire.
"Ah, but it is perfectly lukewarm," returned his daughter cheerfully, as she walked to the tea-table and poured out the soothing beverage. She was quite tranquil as she sat there under the shaded lamps. The danger had been met and encountered, but she had remained mistress of the situation. It was natural for him to feel a little downcast and aggrieved over his defeat. Men were such creatures of impulse.
"Ah, but it’s perfectly lukewarm," his daughter replied cheerfully as she walked over to the tea table and poured out the comforting drink. She appeared completely calm as she sat there under the dim lamps. The danger had been faced and dealt with, but she had kept control of the situation. It was understandable for him to feel a bit upset and resentful about his loss. Men could be such impulsive creatures.
"He is angry with me now, but he will come round by-and-bye," thought Dora, watching him with affectionate solicitude. In her breast she was very fond and proud of him, though the young mistress of Crossgill was not ready to lay down her prerogative and rights at his behests. "I am not afraid of his taking the bit between his teeth," she said to herself, with a smile of incredulity at the bare idea. How was Garth Clayton, her old friend and playmate, to prove unfaithful to her?
"He’s mad at me now, but he’ll come around eventually," thought Dora, watching him with caring concern. Deep down, she was very fond of him and proud of him, even though the young mistress of Crossgill wasn't ready to give up her control and rights to him. "I’m not worried about him going off on his own," she told herself, smiling at the ridiculousness of the idea. How could Garth Clayton, her old friend and playmate, be disloyal to her?
As for Garth, he conducted himself as most high-spirited young men do under the circumstances. He took his cup of cold tea from her hand mutely, much as though it were a dose of poison, and stood aloof, glowering at her at intervals, and talking faster than usual to Mr. Cunningham.
As for Garth, he acted like most energetic young men do in this situation. He silently took the cup of cold tea from her hand, almost as if it were a dose of poison, and kept his distance, shooting her glances every so often while talking more quickly than usual to Mr. Cunningham.
He did not make much of a reply when, after prayers, Dora lighted his silver candlestick as well as her father's, and hoped he would sleep well.
He didn't say much in response when, after prayers, Dora lit his silver candlestick along with her father's and wished him a good night's sleep.
"Good night, Dorrie my dear," observed her father, kissing her smooth forehead just above her eyes. "Don't forget you have a long journey before you to-morrow."
"Good night, Dorrie my dear," her father said, kissing her smooth forehead just above her eyes. "Don't forget you have a long journey ahead of you tomorrow."
"Good night, Miss Cunningham," said Garth with pointed emphasis as he just touched her hand.
"Good night, Miss Cunningham," Garth said, emphasizing the words as he gently touched her hand.
He thought the coldness of his tone would have cut her to the heart, but she merely smiled in his face.
He thought the coldness in his voice would have hurt her deeply, but she just smiled at him.
Garth went up-stairs in a tumult of vexation and excitement. The porch-chamber, with its sweet perfume of fresh lavender, no longer charmed him. The girlish reflection of Dora with its arms full of lilies angered him. He turned his back upon it and sat down by the open window.
Garth went upstairs in a mix of frustration and excitement. The porch room, filled with the sweet scent of fresh lavender, no longer appealed to him. The sight of Dora, looking feminine and holding a bunch of lilies, irritated him. He turned his back to it and sat down by the open window.
He was bitterly mortified and disappointed. Dora had been his fate, he told himself, and now his fate had eluded him. She had drawn him on with sweet looks and half-sentences of fondness all these years, and now she had declined to yield to his first honest efforts of persuasion. Well, he was not the man to be fooled by any girl, though she had golden hair and knew how to use her eyes. She was managing him for her own purposes, but he would prove to her that he was not to be managed. He would shake off her influence much as he had done her hand on his coat-sleeve just now; all the more that such shaking off might be difficult to him. There were other women in the world, thank heaven, beside Dora—women who would be more subservient to his masculine royalty, whose wills and lives could be moulded by his.
He felt incredibly embarrassed and let down. Dora had been his destiny, he told himself, and now that destiny had slipped away. She had tempted him with sweet looks and half-hearted expressions of affection all these years, and now she had refused to respond to his first genuine attempts to win her over. Well, he wasn’t the type to be deceived by any girl, even if she had golden hair and knew how to use her eyes. She was manipulating him for her own reasons, but he would show her that he couldn't be controlled. He would shake off her influence just like he had brushed her hand off his coat sleeve moments ago; even if it was hard for him to do so. There were other women in the world, thankfully, besides Dora—women who would be more compliant with his masculine authority, whose wills and lives could be shaped by his.
His heart was still whole within him, though his pride was so grievously wounded. He knew that, as he turned his back upon her picture, and sat down in his sullen resentment. There was no inward bleeding, no sickness of repressed hopes driven back upon themselves, no yearning void, only the bitterness of an angry wound, against which he called out in his young man's impatience. The golden head would not come and nestle against him when he longed for it, and now he thrust it from him.
His heart was still intact, even though his pride was deeply hurt. He realized this as he turned away from her picture and sat down, feeling sulky and resentful. There was no internal pain, no sickness from trapped hopes, no empty longing—just the bitterness of an angry injury, which he expressed in his youthful impatience. The golden hair wouldn’t come to rest against him when he craved it, and now he pushed it away.
As for Dora, she went up to her room in perfect tranquillity. "Foolish fellow, how angry he was with me," she said to herself as she brushed out the long fair hair that fell round her in a halo. Her blue eyes looked through it like Undine's. "I wonder if all lovers would be so troublesome; it wanted all one's tact to keep him within bounds. I wish Flo were not so young, and that Beattie were less helpless," she went on, with a sigh. "It will be hard work keeping him in good humor the next year or two, but it would never do to engage myself to him as things are now. I have enough on my hands without that," and with another involuntary sigh, as she thought of Garth's handsome countenance, Dora Cunningham, like a right-minded young woman, put away the subject from her mind and went to sleep.
As for Dora, she went up to her room feeling completely calm. "What a silly guy, he was so mad at me," she thought as she brushed her long blonde hair that fell around her like a halo. Her blue eyes sparkled through it like Undine's. "I wonder if all lovers are this annoying; it takes all my skills to keep him in check. I wish Flo weren't so young, and that Beattie were less of a handful," she continued, sighing. "It’s going to be tough keeping him happy for the next year or two, but I can't commit to him the way things are now. I've got enough on my plate without that," and with another involuntary sigh as she thought of Garth's handsome face, Dora Cunningham, thinking like a sensible young woman, pushed the thought from her mind and went to sleep.
END OF VOL. II.
END OF VOL. II.
BUNGAY: CLAY AND TAYLOR, PRINTERS.
BUNGAY: CLAY AND TAYLOR, PRINT SHOP.
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