This is a modern-English version of The golden windmill, and other stories, originally written by Aumonier, Stacy. It has been thoroughly updated, including changes to sentence structure, words, spelling, and grammar—to ensure clarity for contemporary readers, while preserving the original spirit and nuance. If you click on a paragraph, you will see the original text that we modified, and you can toggle between the two versions.

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[i]

[i]

THE GOLDEN WINDMILL
AND OTHER STORIES


[ii]

[ii]

THE MACMILLAN COMPANY
NEW YORK · BOSTON · CHICAGO · DALLAS
ATLANTA · SAN FRANCISCO

THE MACMILLAN COMPANY
NEW YORK · BOSTON · CHICAGO · DALLAS
ATLANTA · SAN FRANCISCO

MACMILLAN & CO., Limited
LONDON · BOMBAY · CALCUTTA
MELBOURNE

MACMILLAN & CO., Ltd.
LONDON · MUMBAI · KOLKATA
MELBOURNE

THE MACMILLAN CO. OF CANADA, Ltd.
TORONTO

THE MACMILLAN CO. OF CANADA, Ltd.
TORONTO


[iii]

[iii]

THE
GOLDEN WINDMILL
AND OTHER STORIES

THE
GOLDEN WINDMILL
AND OTHER STORIES

BY
STACY AUMONIER
Author of
“One After Another,” etc.

BY
STACY AUMONIER
Author of
"One After Another," etc.

New York
THE MACMILLAN COMPANY
1921

New York
The Macmillan Company
1921

All rights reserved

All rights reserved

[iv]

[iv]

Copyright, 1921,
By The McCall Company.

Copyright, 1921,
By The McCall Company.

Copyright, 1919 and 1920,
By The Pictorial Review Company.

Copyright, 1919 and 1920,
By The Pictorial Review Co..

Copyright, 1917, 1918 and 1920,
By The Century Company.

Copyright, 1917, 1918, and 1920,
By The Century Co..

Copyright, 1921,
By THE MACMILLAN COMPANY.

Copyright, 1921, By THE MACMILLAN COMPANY.

Set up and electrotyped. Published March, 1921.

Set up and electrotyped. Published March 1921.


[v]

[v]

TO
J. G.

To J. G.

[vi]

[vi]


[vii]

[vii]

PREFACE

Oh, that mine enemy would write a book—of short stories.

Oh, I wish my enemy would write a book—of short stories.

As you know, it is considered rather provocative to launch a book of short stories. It is asking for trouble. The least I can do is to offer a brief apology; and I cannot do this without writing a preface, which requires an apology in itself. Unless you are a Bernard Shaw you find a preface a most embarrassing business. Having written the stories I would rather talk about anything else—old furniture, for instance. Perhaps my best policy will be to start by attacking you, O Reader, friend or enemy, as the case may be. You are a most exacting fellow. Far more exacting than a reader of novels, or works of reference, or even histories; for the reason that your criticism follows a more circumscribed tradition. You are a kind of gourmet whose palate is acutely sensitive to accustomed flavors and satieties. It is always easier to be an epicure of a small repast than of a banquet. A novel is less easily digested. You may enjoy it in parts, or derive satisfaction from the matter, or from the manner of telling, but with a short story you require a bonne bouche. You have a most arbitrary standard. When you raise[viii] your eyes from the last line you pass through a most peculiar mental process. It all takes place in a few seconds. In a flash you see the shape and form and color, the application of the title, the point of the whole thing. You demand this, and you also demand to have your senses tickled by some cunning solution, and to be soothed by something unexpected at the close. You observe it as a whole, in the same way that you would observe a water-color sketch, or a Sheraton chair. You may afterwards further examine the sketch, and even sit on the chair, but their appeal to you depends on that first glance. Otherwise you turn away, a dissatisfied and disgruntled gourmet. To-morrow you will dine elsewhere. The truth is your sense of tradition had been outraged.

As you know, releasing a book of short stories is seen as pretty daring. It's inviting trouble. The least I can do is offer a quick apology, and I can't get into that without writing a preface, which needs an apology in itself. Unless you're a Bernard Shaw, writing a preface can be quite awkward. After writing the stories, I’d rather discuss anything else—like old furniture, for example. Maybe my best approach will be to start by taking aim at you, O Reader, whether friend or foe, as the situation may be. You are a very demanding audience. Much more so than a reader of novels, reference works, or even history; because your criticism is based on a more limited tradition. You're like a foodie with a refined palate that's sensitive to familiar flavors and excesses. It's easier to appreciate a small dish than a whole feast. A novel can be hard to digest. You might enjoy it in parts, or find pleasure in the content or the way it's told, but with a short story, you expect a bonne bouche. You have a very particular standard. When you finish the last line, you go through a unique mental process. It all happens in just a few seconds. In an instant, you take in the shape, form, and color, how the title fits, the point of it all. You demand this, and you also want to be intrigued by some clever twist, with a satisfying surprise at the end. You see it as a whole, just like you would look at a watercolor sketch or a Sheraton chair. Sure, you can examine the sketch further and even sit on the chair, but your impression of them comes from that first look. Otherwise, you’ll walk away, a dissatisfied and disgruntled foodie. Tomorrow, you’ll dine elsewhere. The fact is, your sense of tradition has been violated.

Fortunately for you, and for me, tradition is a fine thing. Nothing comes out of the blue, except perhaps thunderbolts and they are not really very useful things, certainly no good to any one trying to create. Chippendale, Sheraton, or Heppelwhite were all men of strong individuality. You could never mistake a Sheraton chair for a Chippendale, or a Chippendale for a Heppelwhite; and yet they were all craftsmen who worked on strictly traditional lines. The same may be said of Turgenev, Guy de Maupassant, Joseph Conrad and Tchekoff. Please do not think that I am mentioning my own short stories in the same breath with the stories of these giants. I only want to point out to you that those of us who desire to write them have a noble tradition to follow. You may argue that the[ix] analogy between the making of a chair and the creation of a short story is rather far-fetched for the reason that the plan of a chair has long since been fixed and determined by the nature of the seated attitude; that until we find a new way of sitting down the plan of the chair must remain the same; whereas the short story may wander at random over the wide fields of human nature. To this I will reply—Has human nature altered perceptibly more than the nature of the seated attitude? You are bound to agree with me that it hasn’t. The Arabs—who have always been the best story tellers—have stated that there are only seven stories in the world. The complications of what is called Social Progress have not increased the number. They have rather restricted it. The emotions can do no more with dollars and girders than they used to be able to do with magic carpets and languishing houris. People love, hate, struggle and fructify, and to set down their story is a nice respectable craft with a fine old tradition—very like chairmaking.

Fortunately for both of us, tradition is a great thing. Nothing comes out of nowhere, except maybe lightning bolts, and those aren’t really useful—definitely not for anyone trying to create. Chippendale, Sheraton, and Heppelwhite were all strong individuals. You could never confuse a Sheraton chair with a Chippendale, or a Chippendale with a Heppelwhite; yet they were all craftsmen who worked within strict traditional methods. The same can be said for Turgenev, Guy de Maupassant, Joseph Conrad, and Chekhov. Please don’t think I’m putting my own short stories on the same level as those of these literary giants. I just want to highlight that those of us who want to write have a noble tradition to follow. You might argue that comparing the creation of a chair to writing a short story is a bit of a stretch because the design of a chair has long been set by how we sit; that until we find a new way to sit, the design of a chair will stay the same, whereas a short story can explore the vast territory of human nature. To this, I would respond—Has human nature changed significantly more than how we sit? You have to agree that it hasn’t. The Arabs—who have always been great storytellers—have said that there are only seven stories in the world. The complexities of what we call Social Progress haven’t increased that number. In fact, they’ve limited it. Emotions can do no more with money and structures than they used to with magic carpets and beautiful maidens. People love, hate, struggle, and thrive, and capturing their story is a honorable craft with a rich tradition—very similar to chairmaking.

The two crafts have another point in common. It is the business of them both to make you comfortable. When I start reading a story by Tchekoff I feel comfortable at once. On quite a different plane I feel the same with that remarkable story-teller, O. Henry. They may shock me, or thrill me, or delight me, but I know it’s going to be all right. My sense of tradition will not be outraged. Tchekoff may give me that accustomed sense of satiety by a mere turn of a phrase; O. Henry by some amazing double surprise. But I[x] know all the time that there will be nothing to worry about.

The two crafts share another similarity. Their purpose is to make you feel at ease. When I start reading a story by Chekhov, I immediately feel comfortable. In a completely different way, I experience the same with that incredible storyteller, O. Henry. They might shock me, thrill me, or delight me, but I know everything will turn out fine. My understanding of tradition won’t be offended. Chekhov can give me that familiar feeling of satisfaction with just a simple phrase; O. Henry does it with his incredible twists. But I know throughout that there’s nothing to worry about.

In these stories, then, I have merely tried to be a good apprentice to skilled craftsmen. I claim for them no originality at all. Though their setting is entirely modern, and they deal with such things as fried-fish shops, and public-houses, and the like, they are just the same old seven stories told in the bazaars of Ispahan three thousand years ago.

In these stories, I’ve just tried to be a good learner from talented creators. I don’t claim any originality for them at all. Even though their setting is completely modern and they talk about things like fried-fish shops and pubs, they’re really just the same old seven stories that were told in the markets of Ispahan three thousand years ago.

If through them all you feel something which links them together, which moreover makes you and me more intimate with each other, then I shall feel as happy as Sheraton’s apprentice must have felt when some noble patron of the master’s stopped in the workshops to give him a word of encouragement.

If you feel a connection between them all that also brings you and me closer together, then I'll be as happy as Sheraton's apprentice must have been when a noble patron of the master stopped by the workshop to give him some words of encouragement.

Stacy Aumonier.

Stacy Aumonier.


[1]

[1]

CONTENTS

PAGE
The Golden Windmill 3
An Annoyance 35
The Siblings 59
“Classic Iron” 79
Little White Dress 109
A Positive Action 137
Them Others 169
The Curved Tree 199
The Great Unimpressed 213

[2]

[2]


[3]

[3]

THE GOLDEN WINDMILL


THE GOLDEN WINDMILL

At the top of the hill the party halted. It had been a long trek up and the sun was hot. Monsieur Roget fanned himself with his hat, and his eye alighted on a large pile of cut fern-leaves.

At the top of the hill, the group stopped. It had been a long climb, and the sun was blazing. Monsieur Roget fanned himself with his hat, and his gaze landed on a big pile of cut fern leaves.

“But this will suit me admirably!” he remarked, and he plumped his squat little figure down, and taking out his large English pipe he began to stuff tobacco into it.

“But this is perfect for me!” he said, and he settled his short little body down, and taking out his big English pipe, he started to pack tobacco into it.

“My little one,” said his stout wife, “I should not advise you to go to sleep. You know that to do so in the afternoon always gives you an indisposition.”

“My little one,” said his plump wife, “I wouldn’t recommend that you take a nap. You know that sleeping in the afternoon always makes you feel unwell.”

“Oh, la la! No, no, no. I do not go to sleep, but—this position suits me admirably!” he replied.

“Oh, wow! No, no, no. I’m not going to sleep, but—this position works perfectly for me!” he replied.

“Oh, papa, papa! ... lazybones!” exclaimed his pretty daughter Louise. “And if we leave you, you will sleep like a dormouse.”

“Oh, dad, dad! ... lazybones!” exclaimed his pretty daughter Louise. “And if we leave you, you'll sleep like a dormouse.”

“It is very hot!” rejoined the father.

“It’s really hot!” the father replied.

“Leave him alone,” said Madame Roget, “and we will go down to that place that looks like an inn, and see whether they will sell us milk. Where is Lisette?”

"Leave him alone," said Madame Roget, "and we'll go down to that place that looks like an inn and see if they'll sell us some milk. Where's Lisette?"

“Lisette! Where should she be?”

“Lisette! Where is she?”

And of course it was foolish to ask. Lisette, the younger daughter, had been lost in the wood on the way up, with her fiancé, Paul Fasquelle. Indeed, the[4] party had all become rather scattered. It is a peculiarity of picnics. Monsieur Roget’s eldest son, Anton, was playing at see-saw with his three children on the trunk of a fallen tree. His wife was talking to Madame Aubert, and occasionally glancing up to exclaim:

And of course, it was silly to ask. Lisette, the younger daughter, had gotten lost in the woods on the way up, with her fiancé, Paul Fasquelle. In fact, the[4] group had all become quite dispersed. It's a common thing that happens at picnics. Monsieur Roget’s oldest son, Anton, was playing on a seesaw with his three kids on the trunk of a fallen tree. His wife was chatting with Madame Aubert, occasionally looking up to exclaim:

“Careful, my darlings!”

“Be careful, my darlings!”

Monsieur Roget was left alone.

Mr. Roget was left alone.

He lighted his pipe, and blinked at the sun. One has to have reached a mature age to appreciate to the full the narcotic seductiveness of good tobacco on the system, when the sun is shining and there is no wind. If there is wind all the pleasant memories and dreams are blown away, but if there is no wind the sun becomes a kind, confidential old fellow. He is very, very mature. And Monsieur Roget was mature. He was fifty-nine years old, given to corpulence, rather moist and hot, but eminently comfortable leaning against the pile of ferns. A glorious view across the woods of Fontainebleau lay stretched before him, the bees droned in the young gorse, his senses tingled with a pleasurable excitement, and, as a man will in such moments, he enjoyed a sudden crystallized epitome of his whole life. His struggles, and failures, and successes. On the whole he had been a successful man. If he died to-morrow, his beloved ones would be left in more than comfort. Many thousand francs carefully invested, some house-property in the Rue Renoir, the three comestibles establishments all doing reasonably well.

He lit his pipe and squinted at the sun. You really have to be of a certain age to fully appreciate the relaxing allure of good tobacco when the sun is shining and there’s no wind. When it’s windy, all those nice memories and dreams get blown away, but with no wind, the sun feels like an old, friendly companion. He’s very, very wise. And Monsieur Roget was wise. He was fifty-nine, somewhat overweight, rather warm and sweaty, but incredibly comfortable leaning against a pile of ferns. A beautiful view of the Fontainebleau woods stretched out before him, the bees buzzing in the blooming gorse, his senses buzzing with pleasurable excitement, and, as often happens in moments like this, he had a sudden clear realization of his entire life. His struggles, failures, and successes. Overall, he had been a successful man. If he died tomorrow, his loved ones would be well taken care of. He had many thousands of francs smartly invested, some property on Rue Renoir, and three small food businesses that were all doing reasonably well.

Things had not always been like that. There had been long years of anxiety, worry and even poverty.[5] He had worked hard and it had been a bitter struggle. When the children were children, that had been the anxious time. It made Monsieur Roget shudder to look back on it. But, God be praised! he had been fortunate, very fortunate in his life-companion. During that anxious time, Madame Roget had been patient, encouraging, incredibly thrifty, competent, resourceful, a loyal wife, a very—Frenchwoman. And they had come through. He was now a proud grandfather. Both his sons were doing well, and were married. Lisette was engaged to a very desirable young advocate. Of Louise there need be no apprehension. In fact, everything....

Things hadn't always been this way. There were long years filled with anxiety, worry, and even poverty.[5] He had worked hard, and it had been a tough battle. When the kids were young, that was the stressful time. It made Monsieur Roget shudder to think back on it. But, thank goodness! he had been very lucky in his life partner. During those stressful years, Madame Roget had been patient, encouraging, incredibly frugal, capable, resourceful, a loyal wife, and truly—French. And they had made it through. He was now a proud grandfather. Both of his sons were doing well and were married. Lisette was engaged to a very promising young lawyer. There was no need for concern about Louise. In fact, everything...

“Name of a dog! that’s very curious,” suddenly thought Monsieur Roget, interrupting his own pleasant reflections.

“Name of a dog! That’s really strange,” Monsieur Roget suddenly thought, interrupting his own pleasant thoughts.

And for some minutes he could not determine exactly what it was that was curious. He had been idly gazing at the clump of buildings lower down the hill, whither his wife and daughter had gone in search of milk. Perhaps the perfume of the young gorse had something to do with it, but as he looked at the buildings, he thought:

And for a few minutes, he couldn't figure out what was so unusual. He had been casually looking at the cluster of buildings lower down the hill, where his wife and daughter had gone to find milk. Maybe the scent of the young gorse played a part, but as he stared at the buildings, he thought:

“It’s very familiar, and it’s very unfamiliar. In fact, it’s gone wrong. They’ve been monkeying with that gable on the east side, and they’ve built a new loft over the stables.”

“It feels both familiar and strange. Actually, something's off. They've been messing with that gable on the east side and built a new loft over the stables.”

But how should he know? What was the gable to him? or he to the gable? He drew in a large mouthful of smoke, held it for some seconds, and then blew[6] it out in a cloud round his head. Where was this? When had he been here before? They had driven out to a village called Pavane-en-Bois, and from there they had walked, and walked, and walked. He may have been here before, and have come from another direction....

But how was he supposed to know? What did the gable mean to him? Or he to the gable? He took a deep drag of smoke, held it for a few seconds, and then exhaled it in a cloud around his head. Where was this? When had he been here before? They had driven out to a village called Pavane-en-Bois, and from there they had walked, and walked, and walked. He might have been here before and come from a different direction....

“Oo-eh!”

“Oo-eh!”

Monsieur Roget was glad that he was alone when he uttered this exclamation, which cannot convey what it is meant to in print. Of course, across there on the other side of the clearing was the low stone wall, and the reliquary with the figure of the Virgin, and doubtless at the bottom of the slope the other side would be—the well!

Monsieur Roget was relieved to be alone when he let out this exclamation, which really can't capture its true meaning in writing. Over there on the other side of the clearing was the low stone wall, and the shrine with the statue of the Virgin, and surely at the bottom of the slope on the other side would be—the well!

It was exactly on this spot that he had met Diane—God in heaven! how long ago? Ten, twenty, thirty.... Exactly thirty-seven years ago!

It was right here that he had met Diane—wow, how long ago was that? Ten, twenty, thirty.... Exactly thirty-seven years ago!

And how vividly it could all come back to one!

And how clearly it could all come back to you!

He was twenty-two then, a slim young man—considered elegant and rather distinguished-looking by some people—an orphan, without either brothers or sisters, the inheritor of a quite substantial competence from his father, who had been a ship-broker at Marseilles. He had gone to Paris to educate himself and to prepare for a commercial career. He was a serious young man, with modest ambitions, rather moody and given to abstract speculations. Paris bewildered him, and he used to escape when he could, and seek solitude in the country. At length he decided that he must settle down to some definite career, and he became articled to a[7] firm of chartered accountants: Messrs. Manson et Cie. He took rooms at a quiet pension near the Luxembourg, and there fell in love with his patron’s daughter, Lucile, a demure and modest brunette. The affair was almost settled, but not quite. Monsieur Roget, even in those days, was a man who never put his leg over the wall till he had seen the other side. He was circumspect, cautious, and there was indeed plenty of time.

He was twenty-two then, a slim young man—considered elegant and somewhat distinguished-looking by some people—an orphan, with no brothers or sisters, inheriting a substantial fortune from his father, who had been a shipbroker in Marseille. He had gone to Paris to further his education and prepare for a business career. He was a serious young man with modest ambitions, somewhat moody and prone to abstract thoughts. Paris overwhelmed him, and he often escaped to seek solitude in the countryside. Eventually, he decided he needed to commit to a definite career, so he became an intern at a[7] chartered accounting firm: Messrs. Manson et Cie. He rented a room at a quiet boarding house near the Luxembourg Gardens and fell in love with his boss's daughter, Lucile, a shy and modest brunette. The relationship was almost settled, but not quite. Monsieur Roget, even back then, was someone who never took a risk until he had all the information. He was careful and cautious, and there was certainly plenty of time.

And then one day he had found himself on this identical hillock. He could not quite clearly remember how he came to be there. Probably he had come for the day, to escape the clamor of Paris. He certainly had no luggage. He was seated on this spot, dreaming and enjoying the view, when he heard a cry coming from the other side of the low stone wall. He jumped up and ran to it, and lo! on the other side he beheld—Diane! The name was peculiarly appropriate. She was lying there on her side like a wounded huntress. When she caught sight of him she called out:

And then one day he found himself on this same little hill. He couldn’t quite remember how he got there. He probably came just for the day to escape the noise of Paris. He definitely didn’t have any luggage. He was sitting there, daydreaming and enjoying the view, when he heard a shout from the other side of the low stone wall. He jumped up and ran over, and there, on the other side, he saw—Diane! The name was strangely fitting. She was lying there on her side like an injured huntress. When she saw him, she called out:

“Ah, monsieur, will you be so kind as to help me? I fear I have sprained my ankle.”

“Hey there, sir, could you please help me? I think I might have sprained my ankle.”

Paul Roget leapt the wall and ran to her assistance. (The thought of leaping a wall now made him gasp!) He lifted her up, trembling himself, and making sympathetic little clucks with his tongue.

Paul Roget jumped over the wall and ran to help her. (The idea of jumping over a wall now made him catch his breath!) He picked her up, shaking himself, and made gentle comforting sounds with his tongue.

“Pardon, pardon! very distressing!” he murmured, when she stood erect.

“Sorry, sorry! This is really upsetting!” he murmured, when she stood up straight.

“If monsieur will be good enough to allow me to rest my hand on his shoulder, I shall be able to hop back to the auberge.”

“If you don’t mind, could I rest my hand on your shoulder? That way, I’ll be able to hop back to the auberge.”

[8]

[8]

“With the greatest pleasure. Allow me.”

"With great pleasure. Let me do that."

On the ground was an upturned pail. He remarked:

On the ground was an overturned bucket. He said:

“Would it distress mademoiselle to stand for one minute, whilst I re-fill the pail?”

“Would it bother you, miss, to stand for a minute while I refill the bucket?”

“Oh, no, no,” she exclaimed. “Do not inconvenience yourself.”

“Oh, no, no,” she said. “Don’t go out of your way.”

“Then perhaps mademoiselle will allow me to return for the pail?”

“Then maybe you’ll let me come back for the bucket?”

“Oh, no, if you please! My father will do it.”

“Oh, no, please! My dad will take care of it.”

She leant on his shoulder and hopped a dozen paces.

She leaned on his shoulder and hopped a dozen steps.

“How did it happen, mademoiselle?”

“How did it happen, miss?”

“Imbecile that I am! I think I was dreaming. I had filled the pail and was descending the embankment when I slipped. I tried to step across the pail, but caught my foot in the rim. And then—I don’t know quite what happened. I fell. It is the other ankle which I fear I have sprained.”

“Idiot that I am! I think I was dreaming. I had filled the bucket and was going down the slope when I slipped. I tried to step over the bucket, but I caught my foot on the edge. And then—I’m not sure exactly what happened. I fell. It’s the other ankle that I’m worried I’ve sprained.”

“I am indeed most desolated. Is it far to the inn?”

“I’m really feeling down. Is it far to the inn?”

“You see it yonder, monsieur. It is perhaps ten minutes’ walk, but twenty minutes’ hop.”

“You see it over there, sir. It's about a ten-minute walk, but a twenty-minute hop.”

She laughed gayly, and Monsieur Roget said solemnly:

She laughed cheerfully, and Monsieur Roget said seriously:

“If I might suggest it—I think it would be more comfortable for Mademoiselle if she would condescend to place her arm round my neck.”

“If I may suggest it—I think it would be more comfortable for Mademoiselle if she could kindly place her arm around my neck.”

“It is too good of you.”

"That's really generous of you."

They proceeded another hundred paces in silence, and then rested against a stile. Suddenly she gave him one of her quick glances, and said:

They walked another hundred steps in silence, and then leaned against a fence. Suddenly, she shot him one of her quick glances and said:

“You are very silent, monsieur.”

“You're very quiet, sir.”

[9]

[9]

“I was thinking—how very beautiful the day is.”

“I was thinking—how beautiful the day is.”

As a matter of fact, he was not thinking anything of the sort. He was in a fever. He was thinking how very beautiful, adorable, attractive this lovely wild creature was hanging round his neck. He had never before adventured such an experience. He had never kissed Lucile. Women were an unopened book to him, and lo! suddenly the most captivating of her sex was clinging to him. He felt the pressure of her soft brown forearm on the back of his neck. Her little teeth were parted with smiles, and she panted gently with the exertion of hopping. Her dark eyes searched his, and appeared to be slightly mocking, amused, interested.

Actually, he wasn't thinking anything like that. He was in a frenzy. He was thinking about how beautiful, adorable, and attractive this lovely wild creature was hanging around his neck. He had never experienced anything like this before. He had never kissed Lucile. Women were a mystery to him, and suddenly, the most captivating one was clinging to him. He felt her soft brown forearm pressing against the back of his neck. Her little teeth were parted in smiles, and she breathed gently from the effort of hopping. Her dark eyes searched his, seeming to be a bit teasing, amused, and intrigued.

“If only I might pick her up and carry her,” he thought, but he did not dare to make the suggestion.

“If only I could just pick her up and carry her,” he thought, but he didn’t dare to suggest it.

Once she remarked:

Once she said:

“Oh, but I am tired,” and he thought she looked at him slyly.

“Oh, but I’m tired,” and he thought she was looking at him mischievously.

The journey must have occupied half-an-hour, and she told him a little about herself. She lived with her father. Her mother had died when she was a baby. It was quite a small inn, frequented by charcoal-burners and woodmen, and occasionally by visitors from Paris. She liked the country very much, but sometimes it was dull—oh, dull, dull, dull!

The ride must have taken about half an hour, and she shared a bit about herself. She lived with her dad. Her mom had passed away when she was a baby. It was a pretty small inn, visited by charcoal burners and lumberjacks, and sometimes by travelers from Paris. She really liked the countryside, but at times it was boring—oh, so boring!

“Ah, it is sometimes dull, even in Paris!” sighed Monsieur Roget.

“Ah, it can be boring sometimes, even in Paris!” sighed Monsieur Roget.

“You must come and speak to my father, and take a glass of wine,” she remarked.

“You need to come and talk to my dad and have a glass of wine,” she said.

[10]

[10]

In the forecourt of the inn the father appeared.

In the courtyard of the inn, the father showed up.

“Hullo!” he exclaimed. “What is all this?”

“Hey!” he exclaimed. “What’s going on here?”

He was a rubicund, heavy-jowled gentleman, who by the wheezy exhalations coming from his chest gave the impression of being a chronic sufferer from asthma. Diane laughed.

He was a rosy-faced, heavy-jowled man who, from the wheezy breaths coming from his chest, seemed like someone who struggled with asthma. Diane laughed.

“I have been through fire and water, my dear,” she said, “and this is my deliverer.”

“I’ve been through hell and back, my dear,” she said, “and this is my savior.”

She explained the whole episode to the landlord, who shook hands with Paul, and they led the girl into a sitting-room at the back of the café. Paul was somewhat diffident about entering this private apartment, but the landlord wheezed:

She told the landlord everything that happened, and he shook hands with Paul before they took the girl into a sitting room at the back of the café. Paul felt a bit hesitant about going into this private space, but the landlord wheezed:

“Come in, come in, monsieur.”

“Come in, come in, sir.”

They sat Diane down on a sofa, and the landlord pulled off her stocking. In doing so he revealed his daughter’s leg as far as the knee. She had a very pretty leg, but the ankle was considerably swollen.

They sat Diane down on a sofa, and the landlord pulled off her stocking. In doing so, he revealed his daughter’s leg up to the knee. She had a really pretty leg, but her ankle was quite swollen.

“The ankle is sprained,” said the landlord.

“The ankle is sprained,” said the landlord.

“Will you allow me to go and fetch a doctor?” asked Paul.

“Can I go get a doctor?” asked Paul.

“It is not necessary,” replied the landlord. “I know all about sprained ankles. When I was in the army I served in the ambulance brigade. We will just bind it up very tight with cold linen bandages. Does it hurt, little one?”

“It’s not necessary,” the landlord replied. “I know all about sprained ankles. When I was in the army, I worked in the ambulance brigade. We’ll just wrap it up really tight with cold linen bandages. Does it hurt, little one?”

“Not very—yet. It tingles. I feel that it may. Won’t you offer Monsieur—I do not know his name—some refreshment?”

“Not much—yet. It tingles. I feel like it might. Won’t you offer Monsieur—I don’t know his name—some refreshment?”

“Monsieur Paul Roget,” said that gentleman, bowing.[11] “But please do not consider me. The sufferer must be attended first. Later on, I would like to be permitted to partake of a little lunch in the inn.”

“Mister Paul Roget,” said that gentleman, bowing.[11] “But please don't worry about me. The person in pain has to be taken care of first. Later, I would appreciate it if I could join for a little lunch at the inn.”

While the landlord, whose name was Jules Couturier, was binding up his daughter’s ankle, Paul slipped out and returned to the well, filled the pail, and brought it back to the yard of the inn.

While the landlord, named Jules Couturier, was wrapping up his daughter’s ankle, Paul quietly slipped out and went back to the well, filled the bucket, and carried it back to the inn's yard.

“But this is extremely agreeable of you, monsieur,” exclaimed the landlord, as he came bustling through the porch. “She will do well. I know all about sprained ankles. Oh, yes! I have had great experience. I beg you to share a little lunch with us. We are quite simple folk, but I think we may find you an omelette and a ragoût. Quite country people, you know; nothing elaborate.”

“But this is really nice of you, sir,” exclaimed the landlord as he hurried through the porch. “She’ll be just fine. I know a lot about sprained ankles. Oh, definitely! I have plenty of experience. Please join us for a little lunch. We’re just simple folks, but I think we can offer you an omelet and a stew. Just country people, you know; nothing fancy.”

The lunch was excellent, and Diane had the sofa drawn up to the table, and in spite of the pain she must have been suffering, she laughed and joked, and they were quite a merry party. After lunch he helped to wheel her out into the crab-apple orchard at the back, and he told her all about himself, his life and work, and ambitions. He told her everything, except perhaps about Lucile. And he felt very strange, elevated, excited.

The lunch was great, and Diane had the sofa pulled up to the table. Despite the pain she must have been in, she laughed and joked, and they made quite a merry group. After lunch, he helped wheel her out to the crab-apple orchard in the back, and he shared everything about himself—his life, work, and ambitions. He told her everything, except maybe about Lucile. And he felt really strange, lifted, and excited.

When the evening came he left it till too late to catch the train back to Paris, and the landlord lent him some things and he stayed the night.

When evening arrived, he waited too long to catch the train back to Paris, so the landlord lent him some items, and he ended up staying the night.

He stayed three nights, and wrote to Messrs. Manson et Cie, and explained that he had gone to Pavane-en-Bois, and had been taken ill. He wrote the same thing[12] to Lucile. And during the day he talked to Diane, and listened to the landlord. Sometimes he would wander into the woods, but he could not bring himself to stay away for long. He brought back armfuls of flowers which he flung across her lap. He touched her hands, and trembled, and at night in bed he choked with a kind of ecstasy and regret. It was horribly distracting. He did not know how to act. He was behaving badly to Lucile, and dishonorably to Manson et Cie. His conscience smote him, but the other little fiend was dancing at the back of his mind. Nothing else seemed to matter. He was mad—madly in love with this little dark-eyed huntress.

He stayed for three nights and wrote to Messrs. Manson et Cie, explaining that he had gone to Pavane-en-Bois and had fallen sick. He wrote the same thing[12] to Lucile. During the day, he talked to Diane and listened to the landlord. Sometimes he wandered into the woods, but he couldn’t stay away for long. He came back with armfuls of flowers that he tossed across her lap. He touched her hands, feeling nervous, and at night in bed, he felt overwhelmed with a mix of joy and regret. It was incredibly distracting. He didn’t know how to behave. He was treating Lucile poorly and dishonorably to Manson et Cie. His conscience nagged at him, but the other little devil in his mind was celebrating. Nothing else seemed to matter. He was crazy—madly in love with this little dark-eyed huntress.

At the end of three days he returned to Paris, but not till he had promised to come back at the earliest opportunity.

At the end of three days, he returned to Paris, but not until he had promised to come back at the earliest opportunity.

“Perhaps I will go again in August,” he sighed in the train. It was then the seventh of June.

"Maybe I'll go again in August," he sighed on the train. It was the seventh of June.

On the fifteenth of June he was back again in the “Moulin d’Or.” Diane was already much better. She could hobble about alone with the help of two sticks. She was more bewitching than ever. He stayed three weeks, till her ankle was quite well, and they could go for walks together in the woods. And he called her Diane, and she called him Paul. And one day, as the sun was setting, he flung his arms round her and gasped:

On June 15th, he was back at the “Moulin d’Or.” Diane was doing much better. She could move around on her own with the help of two canes. She was more enchanting than ever. He stayed for three weeks, until her ankle was completely healed, and they could go for walks together in the woods. He called her Diane, and she called him Paul. One day, as the sun was setting, he wrapped his arms around her and said,

“Diane.... Diane! I love you!”

“Diane... Diane! I love you!”

And he kissed her on the lips, and her roguish eyes searched his.

And he kissed her on the lips, and her playful eyes searched his.

[13]

[13]

“Oh, you!” she murmured. “You bad boy ... you!”

“Oh, you!” she whispered. “You naughty boy ... you!”

“But I love you, Diane. I want you. I can’t live without you. You must come away with me. We will get married. We will build a world of our own. Oh, you beautiful! Tell me you love me, or I shall go mad!”

“But I love you, Diane. I want you. I can’t live without you. You have to come away with me. We will get married. We will create our own world. Oh, you’re beautiful! Tell me you love me, or I’ll go crazy!”

She laughed that low, gurgling, silvery laugh of hers.

She let out that low, gurgling, silvery laugh of hers.

“What are you saying?” she said. “How should I know? I think you are—a nice boy. But I cannot leave my father.”

“What are you talking about?” she said. “How am I supposed to know? I think you’re a nice guy. But I can’t leave my dad.”

“My dear, he managed all the time you had to lie with your foot up. Don’t torture me! Oh, you must love me, Diane. I couldn’t love you so much if you didn’t love me a little in return.”

“My dear, he spent all the time you had lying down with your foot propped up. Don’t torment me! Oh, you must love me, Diane. I couldn’t love you this much if you didn’t love me at least a little in return.”

“Perhaps I do,” she said, smiling.

“Maybe I do,” she said, grinning.

“What is it, then, Diane?”

“What’s going on, Diane?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I do not want to marry. I want to be free, to see the world. I am ambitious. I have been to the conservatoire at Souboise. They say I can sing and dance. My father has spent his savings on me.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I don’t want to get married. I want to be free and see the world. I’m ambitious. I’ve been to the conservatory in Souboise. They say I can sing and dance. My dad has spent all his savings on me.”

“Darling, if you marry me, you shall be free. You shall do as you like. You shall dance and sing and see the world. Everything of mine shall be yours if only you will love me. You must—you must. Diane!”

“Darling, if you marry me, you'll be free. You can do whatever you want. You can dance and sing and travel the world. Everything I have will be yours if only you love me. You have to—you have to. Diane!”

“Well ... we shall see. Come; father will be anxious.”

“Well... we'll see. Come on; Dad will be worried.”

[14]

[14]

In July he left his pension and moved out to Montmartre. He had never definitely proposed to Lucile, but his expressions of affection had been so definite that he felt ashamed. He spent his holiday in August at the “Moulin d’Or.” And Diane promised to marry him “one day.”

In July, he left his pension and moved to Montmartre. He had never officially proposed to Lucile, but his feelings for her were so clear that he felt embarrassed. He spent his vacation in August at the “Moulin d’Or.” And Diane promised to marry him “one day.”

“Diane,” he said, “I will work for you. You have inspired me. I shall go back to Paris and think of you all day, and dream of you all night.”

“Diane,” he said, “I’ll work for you. You’ve inspired me. I’ll go back to Paris and think about you all day and dream about you all night.”

“That won’t give you much time to make your fortune, my little cabbage.”

"That won't leave you with much time to get rich, my little cabbage."

“Do not mock me. Where would you like to live?”

“Don’t make fun of me. Where do you want to live?”

“In Paris, in Nice, in Rome, in Vienna. And then, one day, I would like to creep back here and just live in the ‘Moulin d’Or.’”

“In Paris, in Nice, in Rome, in Vienna. And then, one day, I’d like to sneak back here and just live in the ‘Moulin d’Or.’”

“The ‘Moulin d’Or’?”

“The ‘Moulin d’Or’?”

“Oh, we could improve it. We could build an extra wing, with a dancing-hall, and more nice bedrooms, and a garage. We could improve the inn, but we could not improve these beautiful hills. Isn’t that true, little friend?”

“Oh, we could make it better. We could add another wing with a dance hall, more nice bedrooms, and a garage. We could enhance the inn, but we couldn’t change these beautiful hills. Isn’t that right, little friend?”

“Nothing could be improved where you are. You are perfection.”

“Nothing can be improved about where you are. You are perfect.”

“Yes, but—”

“Yeah, but—”

In September Diane came to Paris. She stayed with an aunt in Parnasse, and attended a conservatoire of dancing. And every evening Paul called on her, and took her flowers and chocolates and trinkets. And in the daytime, when the image of Diane’s face did not interpose between his eyes and his desk, he worked[15] hard. He meant to work hard and become a rich man, and take Diane to Nice, and Rome, and Vienna, and make the structural alterations to the “Moulin d’Or.”

In September, Diane arrived in Paris. She stayed with her aunt in Parnasse and went to a dance conservatory. Every evening, Paul visited her, bringing flowers, chocolates, and little gifts. During the day, when he wasn’t distracted by thoughts of Diane’s face, he worked hard. He was determined to work diligently, become wealthy, and take Diane to Nice, Rome, and Vienna, and make the necessary improvements to the “Moulin d’Or.”

In a few months’ time Diane made such progress that she was offered an engagement in the ballet at Olympia. She accepted it and Paul was consumed with a fever of apprehension. Every night he went to the performance, waited for her, and escorted her home. But he disliked the atmosphere of the music-hall intensely, and the other girls, Diane’s companions—Heaven defend her!

In just a few months, Diane made such incredible progress that she was offered a spot in the ballet at Olympia. She accepted it, and Paul was overwhelmed with anxiety. Every night, he attended the performance, waited for her, and walked her home. However, he intensely disliked the vibe of the music hall, and the other girls, Diane’s friends—God help her!

And then she quarreled with her aunt, and Paul besought her to marry him so that he might protect her. But she prevaricated, and in the end he took some rooms for her, and she consented to allow him to pay for them. She lived there for several weeks alone, only attended by an old concierge, and then she took a friend, Babette Baroche, to share the rooms with her, and Paul still continued to pay. Paul disliked Babette. She was a frivolous, vain, empty-headed little cocotte, and no fit companion for Diane. On occasions Paul discovered other men enjoying the hospitality of the rooms, and they were always of an objectionable sort. And Diane got into debt, and he lent her four hundred francs.

And then she argued with her aunt, and Paul urged her to marry him so he could protect her. But she hesitated, and in the end, he rented some rooms for her, and she agreed to let him pay for them. She lived there alone for several weeks, only attended by an old concierge, and then she invited a friend, Babette Baroche, to share the rooms with her, and Paul continued to cover the expenses. Paul didn't like Babette. She was a trivial, vain, airheaded little cocotte, and not a suitable companion for Diane. Occasionally, Paul found other men enjoying the hospitality of the rooms, and they were always the type he disapproved of. Diane fell into debt, and he lent her four hundred francs.

At Christmas-time she was dismissed from her engagement, and in a pervicacious mood she promised to marry him in the spring. Paul was delirious. Nothing was good enough for his Diane, and he engaged a complete flat for her, with the services of an[16] elderly bonne. Diane was very grateful and loving, and in the transition Babette was dropped. However, a few weeks after he had signed the lease, she was offered an engagement for a tour, and after a lengthy dispute and many tears, she had her way and accepted it. She was away three months, and Paul was consumed with dread, and doubt, and gloomy forebodings. On occasions he dashed down to Lyons, or Grenoble, or wherever she happened to be, for the week-end. And he thought that the company she was with were a very fast lot.

At Christmas, she ended her engagement, and in a stubborn mood, she promised to marry him in the spring. Paul was ecstatic. Nothing was good enough for his Diane, so he rented a whole apartment for her and hired an elderly housekeeper. Diane was very grateful and affectionate, and in the process, Babette was left behind. However, a few weeks after he signed the lease, she was offered a chance to go on tour, and after a long argument and a lot of tears, she got her way and accepted it. She was gone for three months, and Paul was filled with anxiety, doubt, and dark thoughts. Sometimes he hurried down to Lyons, or Grenoble, or wherever she was, for the weekend. He thought the people she was with were a pretty wild bunch.

“But, my angel,” he would exclaim, “only another month or two, and all this will be over. You will be mine forever and ever.”

“But, my angel,” he would exclaim, “just another month or two, and all this will be over. You will be mine forever.”

He was still paying the rent of the flat in Paris, and it was necessary to send Diane flowers and presents wherever she was. It was an expensive time, particularly as, owing to Diane having had her purse stolen just when she was paying off a debt, he had to send her another four hundred francs. She returned at the end of March, and so great had been her success on tour that an egregious, oily manager named Bonnat offered her a part in a new revue. She received a good salary, but the management would not supply her frocks. It was necessary to dress well for this part. It was her first real chance. She ransacked shops in the Rue de Tivoli, and Paul accompanied her. Eventually she spent twelve hundred francs on them, and Paul advanced the money. She only allowed him to do so on[17] the understanding that she paid him back by installments out of her salary. It is needless to say that she never did so. However, the frocks were a great success, and Diane made a hit. She was undoubtedly talented. She danced beautifully, and she had a gift of imitation. She very quickly became a star, and of course a star could not scintillate in the poky little flat she had so far occupied. She moved to a more fashionable quarter, and occupied a flat the rent of which was rather more than her salary alone. She developed more expensive tastes, and nearly always kept a taxicab waiting for her at stage-doors and restaurants.

He was still paying the rent for the apartment in Paris, and he had to send Diane flowers and gifts wherever she was. It was a costly time, especially since, after Diane had her purse stolen right when she was paying off a debt, he had to send her another four hundred francs. She came back at the end of March, and her success on tour was so impressive that a slick, pushy manager named Bonnat offered her a role in a new revue. She got a good salary, but the management wouldn’t provide her dresses. It was important to look good for this role. It was her first real opportunity. She searched shops on Rue de Tivoli, and Paul went with her. In the end, she spent twelve hundred francs on them, and Paul lent her the money. She only agreed to that on the condition that she would pay him back in installments from her salary. It goes without saying that she never did. However, the dresses were a huge success, and Diane really stood out. She was undoubtedly talented. She danced beautifully and had a knack for imitation. She quickly became a star, and, of course, a star couldn’t shine in the cramped little apartment she had been living in. She moved to a more upscale neighborhood and rented an apartment that cost a bit more than her salary could cover. She developed more expensive tastes and almost always kept a taxi waiting for her at stage doors and restaurants.

At this time Paul began to realize that he was living considerably above his income. It would be necessary to reduce it by breaking into his capital. He sold some house property and paid Diane’s debts and bought her a pearl pendant.

At this point, Paul started to realize that he was living well beyond his means. He would need to cut back by dipping into his savings. He sold some property, paid off Diane’s debts, and bought her a pearl pendant.

“Next month she will be my wife,” he thought, “and then I shall be able more easily to curb these extravagancies.”

“Next month she will be my wife,” he thought, “and then I’ll be able to control these extravagant behaviors more easily.”

But when the next month came Diane was at the height of her success. She had been given more to do in the revue, and her imitations were drawing the town. The management raised her salary. Her head was completely turned.

But when the next month arrived, Diane was at the peak of her success. She had been assigned more work in the revue, and her imitations were attracting attention around town. The management increased her salary. She was completely overwhelmed.

“Oh, no, no, no! dear heart,” she exclaimed. “Not this month. At the end of the season. It would be imbecile when I have all Paris at my feet.”

“Oh, no, no, no! my dear,” she exclaimed. “Not this month. At the end of the season. That would be foolish when I have all of Paris at my feet.”

Paul begged and urged her to reconsider, but she[18] was obdurate. She continued the same life, only that her tastes became more and more extravagant. And one day Paul took her to task.

Paul begged and urged her to reconsider, but she[18] was stubborn. She kept living the same way, but her tastes grew increasingly extravagant. One day, Paul confronted her about it.

“My angel-flower,” he said, “we must not go on like this. All the savings for our wedding are vanishing. I am eating into my capital. We shall be ruined.”

“My angel-flower,” he said, “we can’t keep going like this. All the money we saved for our wedding is disappearing. I’m dipping into my savings. We’re going to be broke.”

“But, my little love,” replied Diane, “I spend so little. Why, you should see the electric brougham Zénie at the Folies Bergères has. Besides, next year, or perhaps before, they will have to double my salary.”

“But, my little love,” replied Diane, “I spend so little. You should see the electric brougham Zénie has at the Folies Bergères. Besides, next year, or maybe even sooner, they're going to have to double my salary.”

“Yes, but in the meantime—?”

“Yes, but in the meantime—?”

“In the meantime your little girl shall kiss away your naughty fears.”

“In the meantime, your little girl will kiss away your naughty fears.”

And of course Diane soon had an electric brougham of her own. The more salary she had, the more it seemed to cost Paul. He was receiving merely a nominal salary himself from Messrs. Manson et Cie, where he was little more than a pupil. However, at that time he managed to get a small increase, and invested a good bulk of his patrimony in a rubber company that a very astute business friend advised him about. If the shares went up considerably he might sell out, and reimburse himself for all these inroads on his capital.

And of course, Diane soon had her own electric brougham. The more salary she earned, the more it seemed to cost Paul. He was getting just a small paycheck from Messrs. Manson et Cie, where he was barely more than an apprentice. However, during that time, he managed to get a slight raise and invested a good chunk of his inheritance in a rubber company that a very savvy business friend recommended to him. If the shares increased significantly, he could sell them and recoup all these hits to his savings.

In the meantime a disturbing element crept into his love affair. A depraved young fop, the Marquis de Lavernal, appeared on the scene. He was one of those young men who have plenty of money and frequent stage-doors. He was introduced by Babette, whom he almost immediately forsook for Diane. He called upon[19] her, left more expensive flowers and chocolates than Paul could afford, and one day took her to Longchamps in his car.

In the meantime, a troubling factor entered his love life. A flashy young man, the Marquis de Lavernal, showed up. He was one of those guys with a lot of money who often hangs around backstage at theaters. Babette introduced him, but he quickly abandoned her for Diane. He visited her, brought expensive flowers and chocolates that Paul couldn’t compete with, and one day took her to Longchamps in his car.

Paul was furious.

Paul was livid.

“This man must not come here,” he exclaimed. “I shall kill him!”

“This guy can't come here,” he shouted. “I’m going to kill him!”

“Oo-oh! but why? He is quite a nice boy. He is nothing to me. He is Babette’s friend.”

“Oo-oh! But why? He's a really nice guy. He doesn't mean anything to me. He's Babette's friend.”

“I don’t trust him. I won’t have him here. Do you understand, Diane? I love you so, I am distracted when that kind of person speaks to you!”

“I don’t trust him. I won’t let him be here. Do you get it, Diane? I love you so much, I get distracted when someone like that talks to you!”

“Oo-oh!”

“Oo-oh!”

Diane promised not to see him again alone, but Paul was dubious. The trouble was that he did not know what went on in the daytime. In the evening he could to a certain extent protect her. But in the daytime—that raven! that ogre! that blood-sucker! He was the kind of man who had the entrée of all theaters, both the back and the front. He went about with parties of girls. Diane explained that it was impossible sometimes not to meet him. He was always with her friends.

Diane promised not to see him alone again, but Paul was skeptical. The problem was that he had no idea what happened during the day. In the evening, he could somewhat protect her. But during the day—that creep! that monster! that leech! He was the type of guy who had access to all the theaters, both backstage and front stage. He hung out with groups of girls. Diane explained that sometimes it was impossible not to run into him. He was always with her friends.

At the end of July Paul had a stroke of fortune. The rubber shares he had bought went up with a great boom, quite suddenly. He sold out and netted a considerable sum. And then he had a brilliant inspiration. He would tell Diane nothing of this. He had plans of his own.

At the end of July, Paul experienced a lucky break. The rubber stocks he had purchased shot up unexpectedly. He sold them off and made a significant profit. Then he had a brilliant idea. He decided not to tell Diane about this. He had his own plans.

One day he took the train and went down to see his prospective father-in-law at the “Moulin d’Or.” The[20] old man was wheezier than ever, but very cordial and friendly.

One day he took the train and went to visit his future father-in-law at the “Moulin d’Or.” The[20] old man was wheezier than ever, but very warm and friendly.

“Well, my boy, how goes it?” he asked.

“Well, my boy, how's it going?” he asked.

“Excellently,” said Paul. “Now, father-in-law, I have a proposition to make. Diane and I are to be married after the summer season. It has always been her ambition to live at the ‘Moulin d’Or.’ But she has spoken of improvements. I want to suggest to you with all respect that you allow me to make those improvements. I would like to do it without her knowing it, and then to bring her down as a great surprise.”

“Excellent,” said Paul. “Now, father-in-law, I have a proposal to make. Diane and I are getting married after the summer. It’s always been her dream to live at the 'Moulin d’Or.' But she’s mentioned some upgrades. I’d like to respectfully suggest that you let me handle those improvements. I want to do it without her knowing and then bring her down as a big surprise.”

“Well, well, very agreeable, I’m sure. And why not? It would be very charming!”

“Well, well, that sounds great, I’m sure. And why not? It would be really lovely!”

“I suggest building a new wing, with a dancing-hall and several nice bedrooms, and a garage; and laying out the gardens more suitably.”

“I propose adding a new wing with a dance hall, several nice bedrooms, and a garage, and redesigning the gardens to make them more appealing.”

“Well, good! It would be very desirable, and conducive to good business. You may rely upon me to assist you in your project, Monsieur Paul.”

"Great! That would be really beneficial and good for business. You can count on me to help you with your project, Monsieur Paul."

“I am indeed grateful to you, Monsieur Couturier.”

“I really appreciate it, Monsieur Couturier.”

Paul returned to Paris in high spirits. He made plans of the suggested alterations on the back of an envelope, in the train. The next morning he went to an eminent firm of contractors. So feverish was he in his demands that he persuaded them to send a manager down that very day to take particulars and prepare the estimate. The work was commenced the same week.

Paul returned to Paris feeling great. He jotted down his ideas for the changes on the back of an envelope while on the train. The next morning, he visited a well-known contracting company. He was so eager about his requests that he convinced them to send a manager that very day to gather details and prepare the estimate. The work began the same week.

In the meantime, Diane had bought some expensive little dogs, because Fleurie at the Odéon kept expensive[21] little dogs, and a new silver tea-service because Lucie Castille at the Moulin Rouge had a silver tea-service. And Paul was surprised because neither of the accounts for these luxuries was sent to him. Diane said she had paid for them herself, but the little demons of jealousy were still gnawing away at his heart.

In the meantime, Diane had bought some pricey little dogs, because Fleurie at the Odéon had pricey[21] little dogs, and a new silver tea set because Lucie Castille at the Moulin Rouge had a silver tea set. Paul was surprised because neither of the bills for these luxuries was sent to him. Diane claimed she had paid for them herself, but the little demons of jealousy were still gnawing at his heart.

The revue was to terminate at the end of the third week in August, and Paul said:

The revue was set to end at the close of the third week in August, and Paul said:

“And then, my love, we will marry quietly in Paris, and then we will do the grand tour. We will go to Nice, and Rome, and Vienna, and commence our eternal honeymoon at the ‘Moulin d’Or.’”

“And then, my love, we’ll get married quietly in Paris, and after that, we’ll take the grand tour. We’ll visit Nice, Rome, and Vienna, and start our forever honeymoon at the ‘Moulin d’Or.’”

Diane clapped her hands.

Diane applauded.

“Won’t that be beautiful, my beloved!” she exclaimed, and she twined her sinuous arms around his neck. “Fancy! just you and I alone at the dear ‘Moulin d’Or!’ Ah! and then we will go to Venice, and to Munich. Good gracious! It will be soon time to think about the frocks and trousseau!”

“Won’t that be beautiful, my love!” she exclaimed, and she wrapped her graceful arms around his neck. “Just imagine! It’ll be just you and me alone at the lovely ‘Moulin d’Or!’ Oh! And then we’ll go to Venice and Munich. Wow! It’ll be time to start thinking about the dresses and the wedding plans soon!”

Paul’s heart swelled. The trousseau! Diane was becoming serious. There had been moments when he had doubted whether she meant to marry him at all, but—the trousseau! Why, yes, the matter must be attended to at once. They spent three weeks buying Diane’s trousseau. Nearly every day she thought of something fresh, some little trifle that was quite indispensable. When the bills came in they amounted to twenty-two thousand francs! Paul was aghast. He had no idea it was possible to spend so much on those flimsy fabrics. And furniture had yet to be purchased.[22] He went to his astute business friend again, and begged for some enticing investment. He was recommended a Nicaraguan Company that was just starting. They had acquired the rights of a new method of refining oil. It was going to be a big thing. With the exception of a sum of money to pay for the improvements at the “Moulin d’Or” Paul put practically the whole of his capital into the Nicaraguan Company.

Paul’s heart filled with excitement. The trousseau! Diane was getting serious. There had been times when he had wondered if she really intended to marry him at all, but—the trousseau! Of course, this needed to be taken care of immediately. They spent three weeks shopping for Diane’s trousseau. Almost every day, she came up with something new, some little item that was absolutely essential. When the bills arrived, they totaled twenty-two thousand francs! Paul was stunned. He had no idea it was possible to spend so much on such lightweight fabrics. And they still needed to buy furniture.[22] He went to his savvy business friend again and asked for a tempting investment opportunity. He was referred to a Nicaraguan Company that was just starting out. They had secured the rights to a new method of refining oil. It was going to be a big deal. Aside from a sum of money set aside for improvements at the “Moulin d’Or,” Paul invested almost all of his capital into the Nicaraguan Company.

Nearly every day he called at the contractor’s, or sent frenzied telegrams to Monsieur Couturier to inquire how the work was progressing. At length he received a verbal promise that the whole thing would be completed by about the twentieth of September.

Nearly every day he visited the contractor or sent urgent telegrams to Monsieur Couturier to check on how the work was going. Eventually, he got a verbal promise that everything would be finished by around September twentieth.

Excellent! That would fit in admirably. It would give him a month’s honeymoon with his beautiful Diane, and then, one glorious September evening, he would drive up the hill, and jumping out of the car in the new drive he would be able to exclaim:

Excellent! That would fit perfectly. It would give him a month’s honeymoon with his gorgeous Diane, and then, one lovely September evening, he would drive up the hill, and jumping out of the car in the new driveway, he would be able to exclaim:

“Behold! Do not all your dreams come true?”

"Look! Don't all your dreams come true?"

And Diane would fling her arms round his neck, and the old father would come toddling out and find them in that position, and he would probably weep, and it would all be very beautiful.

And Diane would wrap her arms around his neck, and the old father would come shuffling out and find them like that, and he would probably cry, and it would all be very beautiful.

A few days later there was a rather distressing incident. Quite on her own responsibility Diane ordered a suite of Louis XVI furniture. They were fabulously expensive copies. Paul had nothing like enough money to pay for it. He did not want to sell his Nicaraguan[23] shares. In fact, he had only just applied for them. He protested vehemently:

A few days later, there was a pretty upsetting incident. On her own whim, Diane ordered a set of Louis XVI furniture. They were ridiculously expensive replicas. Paul didn’t have nearly enough money to cover it. He didn’t want to sell his Nicaraguan[23] shares. In fact, he had just applied for them. He protested strongly:

“But, my dear, you ought not to have done this! It is ruinous. We cannot afford it.”

“But, my dear, you really shouldn’t have done this! It’s disastrous. We can’t afford it.”

“But, my Carlo, one must sit down!”

“But, my Carlo, you have to sit down!”

“One need not pay fifteen thousand francs to sit down!”

“One doesn’t have to pay fifteen thousand francs to sit down!”

“Oo-oh!”

“Oo-oh!”

Paul knew the evidence of approaching tears, and he endeavored to stem the tide. In the end he went to a money-lender and borrowed the money at an abnormal rate of interest, and then he went to Diane and said:

Paul recognized the signs of tears welling up, and he tried to hold them back. Eventually, he went to a loan shark and borrowed the money at a crazy high interest rate, and then he went to Diane and said:

“My beloved, you must promise me not to spend any more money without my consent. The consequences may be serious. My affairs are already getting very involved. You must promise me.”

“My love, you have to promise me not to spend any more money without my approval. The consequences could be serious. My situation is already becoming quite complicated. You have to promise me.”

Diane promised, and the next day drove to his office in a great state of excitement. Bonnat had been to see her. They wanted to take the revue for a two months’ tour to Brittany and Normandy, commencing at Dinard on August 22nd. He had offered her dazzling terms. She simply must go. It might be her last chance. The wedding must be postponed till the end of October. Paul protested, and they both became angry and cried before two other clerks in Messrs. Manson’s office. They parted without anything being settled. When he saw her at night after the theater, she had signed the contract. And Paul returned to[24] his rooms, and bit his pillow with remorse and grief.

Diane promised, and the next day she drove to his office, feeling really excited. Bonnat had visited her. They wanted to take the show on a two-month tour to Brittany and Normandy, starting at Dinard on August 22nd. He had offered her an amazing deal. She absolutely had to go. This might be her last chance. The wedding had to be postponed until the end of October. Paul argued, and they both got angry and cried in front of two other clerks in Messrs. Manson’s office. They left without resolving anything. When he saw her that night after the theater, she had signed the contract. And Paul went back to[24] his place and bit his pillow in remorse and sorrow.

On the twenty-first of August Diane locked up her trousseau, and the furniture, and left with the company for Dinard. And Paul wrote to her every day, and she replied once a week, and occasionally sent him a telegram announcing a prodigious success. Only occasionally did he get an opportunity of going to her over a week-end. The journeys were very long and he resented spending the money. In only one way did he derive any satisfaction from that tour. The building work—like all building work—could not possibly be completed in the time specified. If they had arrived there on the twenty-first of September, his beautiful Diane would have found the place all bricks and mortar and muddle. As it was, it would be comfortably finished by the middle of October.

On August 21st, Diane packed away her trousseau and furniture and left with the company for Dinard. Paul wrote to her every day, and she would reply once a week, sometimes sending him a telegram about a huge success. He only occasionally had the chance to visit her for a weekend. The trips were really long, and he didn't like spending the money. He did find some satisfaction from that trip. The construction work—like all construction—definitely couldn't be completed on time. If they had arrived on September 21st, his lovely Diane would have found the place a complete mess of bricks and mortar. As it turned out, it would be comfortably finished by mid-October.

When not going to Diane he would spend Sunday with Monsieur Couturier, who was keenly excited about the improvement to his inn. It was going to be very good for the business. All the countryside spoke of it. The patron of the “Colonne de Bronze,” further down the hill, was furious, and this was naturally a matter of satisfaction to Monsieur Couturier. He was proud of and devoted to his future son-in-law.

When he wasn’t visiting Diane, he would spend Sundays with Monsieur Couturier, who was really excited about the upgrades to his inn. It was going to be great for business. Everyone in the area was talking about it. The owner of the “Colonne de Bronze,” further down the hill, was furious, which naturally pleased Monsieur Couturier. He was proud of and dedicated to his future son-in-law.

At the end of September came the great blow. Paul heard of it first through the newspapers. The Nicaraguan Company had failed. The refining process had proved efficient, but far more expensive to work than any other refining process. The company was wound up, and the shareholders received about 2½ per cent.[25] on their investments. Paul was practically ruined. He would have to pay for the building of the “Moulin d’Or.” Beyond that he had only a few thousand francs, and he had to meet the promissory note of the money-lenders. He wrote to Diane and confessed the whole story. She sent him a telegram which simply said: “Courage! courage!”

At the end of September, the big news hit. Paul first found out through the newspapers. The Nicaraguan Company had gone under. The refining process had worked well, but it was way more costly to operate than any other process. The company was shut down, and the shareholders got about 2.5% on their investments. Paul was nearly broke. He would have to cover the costs of building the “Moulin d’Or.” Other than that, he only had a few thousand francs, and he needed to pay off the promissory note to the lenders. He wrote to Diane and laid everything out. She replied with a telegram that simply said: “Courage! courage!”[25]

He wore the telegram inside his shirt for three days, till it got rather too dilapidated. Then he concentrated on his work. Yes! he would have courage. He would build up again. Diane trusted him. In any case, they could sell the furniture and go and live at the “Moulin d’Or.” He wrote her long letters full of his schemes. On October the twelfth the work was completed, and he went down and spent two days and nights with Monsieur Couturier. Diane was to return to Paris on the fifteenth. Monsieur Couturier was full of sympathy and courage. They talked far into the night of how they would manage. With the increase of business assured, the inn would no doubt support the three of them. There were great possibilities, and Paul was young and energetic. Nothing mattered so long as his Diane believed in him.

He kept the telegram inside his shirt for three days until it became pretty worn out. Then he focused on his work. Yes! He would have the courage. He would rebuild. Diane believed in him. In any case, they could sell the furniture and move to the “Moulin d’Or.” He wrote her long letters filled with his plans. On October 12th, the work was done, and he went down and spent two days and nights with Monsieur Couturier. Diane was set to return to Paris on the fifteenth. Monsieur Couturier was very supportive and encouraging. They talked late into the night about how they would manage. With the business increase guaranteed, the inn would likely support the three of them. There were great opportunities ahead, and Paul was young and full of energy. Nothing mattered as long as Diane believed in him.

The night before he returned to Paris he went for a walk in the woods by himself. He visualized the days to come, the walks with Diane, the tender moments when they held each other’s hands; he could see their children toddling hand in hand through the woods, picking flowers. In an ecstasy he rushed to a thick bush, and picked a bunch of red berries. He would[26] take them to Diane. They would be the symbols of their new life. Wild flowers from their home, not exotic town-bred things. It was all going to be joy ... joy ... joy!

The night before he went back to Paris, he took a walk in the woods by himself. He imagined the days ahead, the walks with Diane, the sweet moments when they held hands; he could picture their kids walking hand in hand through the woods, picking flowers. Overcome with excitement, he rushed to a thick bush and picked a bunch of red berries. He would[26] bring them to Diane. They would symbolize their new life. Wildflowers from their home, not fancy town-bred ones. It was all going to be happiness ... happiness ... happiness!

He ran back to the inn, and spent a sleepless night, dreaming of Diane and the days and nights to come.

He ran back to the inn and spent a restless night, dreaming of Diane and the days and nights ahead.

In the morning came a letter from Messrs. Manson et Cie. His dealings with the money-lenders had been disclosed. His services were no longer desirable.

In the morning, a letter arrived from Messrs. Manson et Cie. His transactions with the moneylenders had been revealed. His services were no longer needed.

Well, there it was! It would take more than that to crush him in his ecstatic mood. He would start again. He would begin by helping Monsieur Couturier to run the inn.

Well, there it was! It would take more than that to bring him down in his ecstatic mood. He would start over. He would begin by helping Monsieur Couturier manage the inn.

He returned to Paris late in the evening. He would go to Diane’s flat after she had returned from the theater. She would be a little sleepy, and comfortable, and comforting. She would wear one of those loose, clinging, silky things, and she would take him in her arms, and he would let down her beautiful dark blue-black hair, and then he would make her a coronet of the red berries. He would make her his queen....

He got back to Paris late in the evening. He planned to go to Diane’s apartment after she came home from the theater. She would be a bit sleepy, cozy, and comforting. She’d be wearing one of those loose, clingy, silky outfits, and she would wrap her arms around him, and he would let her beautiful dark blue-black hair down, and then he would make her a crown of red berries. He would make her his queen....

He was too agitated to dine that evening. He walked the streets of Paris, clasping the red berries wrapped in tissue paper. He kept thinking:

He was too restless to eat dinner that evening. He walked the streets of Paris, holding the red berries wrapped in tissue paper. He kept thinking:

“Now she is resting between the acts. Now she is dancing a pas seul in the second act. Now she is giving her imitation of Yvette Guilbert. Now she is taking a call. Now the manager speaks to her, congratulating her—curse him! Now she awaits her cue to go on again.”

“Now she’s taking a break between the acts. Now she’s performing a pas seul in the second act. Now she’s doing her impression of Yvette Guilbert. Now she’s answering a call. Now the manager talks to her, congratulating her—damn him! Now she’s waiting for her cue to go on again.”

[27]

[27]

He was infinitely patient. He restrained his wild impetus to rush to the theater. He hung about the streets. He meant to stage-manage his effect with discretion. He waited some time after the theater was closed. Then, very slowly, he walked in the direction of her flat. As he mounted the stairs, he began to realize that he was very exhausted. He wished that he had not foregone his dinner. However, after the first rapturous meeting with Diane, he would take a glass of wine. Very quietly he slipped the key in the lock, and let himself in. (He had always had a key to Diane’s flat, which was in effect his flat.) Directly he had passed the door he heard loud sounds of laughter. He swore inwardly. How aggravating! Diane had brought home some of her friends! There were evidently a good many of them, from the noise and ribaldry. In the passage were several bottles and glasses.

He was incredibly patient. He held back his urge to rush to the theater. He lingered around the streets, planning to make his entrance with care. He waited a while after the theater had closed. Then, slowly, he walked toward her apartment. As he climbed the stairs, he started to realize how tired he was. He regretted skipping dinner. But after the first thrilling moment with Diane, he would enjoy a glass of wine. Very quietly, he inserted the key into the lock and let himself in. (He had always had a key to Diane’s apartment, which essentially was his apartment.) As soon as he stepped inside, he heard loud laughter. He cursed to himself. How annoying! Diane had brought home some of her friends! There were clearly a lot of them, judging by the noise and rowdiness. In the hallway, there were several bottles and glasses.

He crept along silently to the portière concealing the salon. He could hear Diane’s voice. She was speaking, and after each sentence the company screamed with laughter. Ah! she was entertaining them with one of her famous imitations. He stood there and listened. He made a tiny crack in the curtain and peeped through. Diane was doing a funny little strut, and speaking in a peculiar way. He listened and watched for three or four minutes before he realized the truth of what he saw and heard. And when he did realize it, he had to exert his utmost will-power to prevent himself from fainting.

He quietly crept over to the curtain hiding the living room. He could hear Diane's voice. She was talking, and after every sentence, everyone erupted with laughter. Ah! She was entertaining them with one of her famous impressions. He stood there and listened. He made a small opening in the curtain and peeked through. Diane was doing a funny little walk and speaking in a strange way. He listened and watched for three or four minutes before he understood the reality of what he was seeing and hearing. And when he did realize it, he had to use all his willpower to keep himself from passing out.

[28]

[28]

The person that Diane was imitating was—himself!

The person Diane was imitating was—himself!

The realization seemed to be bludgeoned into him, assisted by a round of ironic cheers. People were calling out:

The realization hit him hard, amplified by a round of sarcastic cheers. People were shouting:

Brava! brava! Diane!”

Bravo! Bravo! Diane!”

He heard Babette say:

He heard Babette say:

“Where is the little end-of-a-man?”

“Where is the little guy?”

And Diane’s voice reply:

And Diane's voice responds:

“Oh, he is coming back soon, I believe. I forget when.”

“Oh, I think he’ll be back soon. I can't remember when.”

A man’s voice—he believed it was the Marquis de Lavernal’s—exclaimed:

A man’s voice—he thought it was the Marquis de Lavernal’s—shouted:

“And when is our Diane going to marry it?”

“And when is our Diane going to get married?”

Diane, very emphatically:

Diane, really strongly:

“Do not distress yourself, my dear; he’s lost all his money.”

“Don’t worry, my dear; he’s lost all his money.”

A roar of laughter drowned conversation, and Paul groped his way along the passage, still clutching the red berries. He reached the door. Then he reconsidered the matter. He crept back to her bedroom. He placed the berries under the coverlet, and taking a sheet of paper, he wrote one word on it: “Good-by.”

A burst of laughter drowned out the conversation, and Paul fumbled his way down the hallway, still holding the red berries. He got to the door but then thought twice about it. He quietly went back to her bedroom. He tucked the berries under the blanket and took a piece of paper, writing just one word on it: “Goodbye.”

He placed this on the berries, and then stole out into the night.

He put this on the berries and then slipped out into the night.

Paul was then twenty-two, and his life was finished. He was a crushed and broken man. He wandered the streets of Paris all night. He spent hours grimly watching the encircling waters of the Seine, the friend and comforter of so many broken hearts. At dawn he returned to his own apartment. He slept for several[29] hours, and then woke up in a fever. He was very ill for some weeks.

Paul was twenty-two, and his life felt over. He was a defeated and shattered man. He roamed the streets of Paris all night, spending hours solemnly watching the swirling waters of the Seine, a solace for so many heartbroken souls. At dawn, he returned to his apartment. He slept for a few[29] hours, then woke up burning with fever. He was very sick for several weeks.

But one must not despair forever. At the end of that time, he pulled himself together, and went out and sought employment. He eventually got a situation as a junior clerk in a wholesale store, and he went back to live at the old pension near the Luxembourg, and he resumed his friendship with Lucile. And in two years’ time he married Lucile. And then his life began. His life began. His life began. And lo! here was Lucile walking slowly up the hill, arm-in-arm with her daughter Louise. Yes, his life began....

But one shouldn't lose hope forever. Eventually, he pulled himself together, went out, and looked for a job. He finally landed a position as a junior clerk in a wholesale store, moved back to the old pension near the Luxembourg, and rekindled his friendship with Lucile. In two years, he married Lucile. And that's when his life truly began. His life began. His life began. And look! Here was Lucile walking slowly up the hill, arm-in-arm with her daughter Louise. Yes, his life began...

“Ah! there you are! What did I say?” exclaimed Louise. “He’s been asleep!”

“Ah! There you are! What did I tell you?” Louise exclaimed. “He’s been sleeping!”

“And we’ve had such an interesting time,” added Madame Roget, panting with exertion. “We’ve been to the inn.”

“And we’ve had such an interesting time,” added Madame Roget, breathing heavily. “We’ve been to the inn.”

“And there’s such a pretty girl there,” continued the daughter. “You’d fall in love with her, papa.”

“And there’s such a pretty girl there,” the daughter continued. “You’d totally fall in love with her, Dad.”

“Is she very dark?” asked Monsieur Roget.

“Is she really dark?” asked Monsieur Roget.

“Yes, she has blue-black hair and beautiful dark eyes.”

“Yes, she has blue-black hair and beautiful dark eyes.”

“Good God!”

“Oh my God!”

“I knew he would be interested. She gave us some milk, and she has been telling us her story. She’s quite young, and she owns the inn, although it’s very hard work to run it, she says. She only has one woman and a potman. Her mother was a famous actress, who made a lot of money and bought the inn[30] and improved it. She died when Mademoiselle was fifteen.”

“I knew he'd be interested. She gave us some milk and has been sharing her story with us. She’s quite young and owns the inn, although she says it’s tough to manage. She only has one woman helping her and a potman. Her mother was a famous actress who earned a lot of money and bought the inn[30] and made improvements to it. She passed away when Mademoiselle was fifteen.”

“Who was her father?”

“Who is her dad?”

“I don’t know. I rather gather that her father was a bad lot. He died, too.”

"I don’t know. I get the feeling her father was a bad person. He died as well."

“How old is she?”

"How old is she?"

“Not much more than twenty.”

"Just over twenty."

“Then her mother must have been thirty-nine when she died.”

“Then her mom must have been thirty-nine when she died.”

“What makes you say so?”

“What makes you think that?”

“Of course she must have been. What happened to the old man?”

“Of course she must have been. What happened to the old guy?”

“What old man?”

"Which old man?"

“Her grandfather.”

“Her granddad.”

“What are you talking about, papa? I don’t believe you’re quite awake yet.”

“What are you talking about, Dad? I don’t think you’re fully awake yet.”

“She must have had a grandfather. Everybody has a grandfather.”

“She must have had a grandfather. Everyone has a grandfather.”

“Well, of course. But—”

"Well, of course. But—"

“Then he must be either dead or alive.”

“Then he must be either dead or alive.”

“How tiresome you are! We must be going. The others are waiting for us lower down the hill.”

“How annoying you are! We need to go. The others are waiting for us further down the hill.”

Monsieur Roget struggled to his feet, and shook the little dead fronds of fern from his clothes, and his wife dusted him down behind.

Monsieur Roget got up and brushed the small dead fern fronds off his clothes, while his wife brushed him off from behind.

“We shall be going back past the inn,” she said.

“We're going back past the inn,” she said.

“The inn! Why can’t we go the other way? The way we came?”

“The inn! Why can’t we take the other route? The one we came from?”

“Don’t be so absurd. What does it matter? The others are awaiting us.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. What difference does it make? The others are waiting for us.”

[31]

[31]

They went slowly down the hill, and came in sight of the “Moulin d’Or.”

They walked slowly down the hill and saw the "Moulin d'Or."

“Isn’t it disgusting,” remarked Louise, “how these speculative builders are always spoiling the old inns?”

“Isn’t it gross,” said Louise, “how these developers are always ruining the old inns?”

“I don’t see it’s spoilt,” answered her father petulantly.

“I don’t think it’s ruined,” her father replied irritably.

“You are ridiculous, papa! Any one can see the inn isn’t half as nice as it was.”

“You're being ridiculous, dad! Anyone can see the inn isn’t nearly as nice as it used to be.”

As they approached the forecourt of the inn, a girl came out carrying a pail. She had dark eyes, blue-black hair, and a swinging carriage. Yes, yes, there was no doubt about it. She was the spit and image of her mother.

As they got closer to the inn's front area, a girl came out with a pail. She had dark eyes, blue-black hair, and a lively stride. Yes, there was no denying it. She looked exactly like her mother.

As she approached she smiled pleasantly, and said:

As she got closer, she smiled warmly and said:

“Good evening, mesdames; a pleasant journey. Good evening, monsieur.”

“Good evening, ladies; have a nice trip. Good evening, sir.”

The ladies returned a friendly greeting, and Monsieur Roget suddenly turned to the girl and said:

The women smiled back warmly, and Monsieur Roget suddenly faced the girl and said:

“Is your grandfather alive or dead?”

“Is your grandpa alive or dead?”

She continued smiling, and replied:

She kept smiling and said:

“I do not remember my grandfather, monsieur.”

“I don’t remember my grandfather, sir.”

No, perhaps not; it was thirty-seven years ago, and old Couturier was an old man then. Perhaps not.

No, maybe not; that was thirty-seven years ago, and old Couturier was already pretty old back then. Maybe not.

“Papa, can’t you see she’s going to the well to fetch water? Why don’t you offer to help her?”

“Dad, can’t you see she’s going to the well to get water? Why don’t you offer to help her?”

“Eh? No, I’m not going. Let her fetch it herself!”

“Uh? No, I’m not going. Let her get it herself!”

“Papa!”

“Dad!”

They walked on in silence till well out of hearing, when Louise exclaimed:

They continued walking in silence until they were far enough away that they couldn't be heard, when Louise suddenly said:

[32]

[32]

“Really, papa, I can’t understand you. So ungallant! It’s not like you. You ought to have offered to fetch the water for her, even if she refused.”

“Honestly, Dad, I don’t get you. That’s so unchivalrous! It’s not like you. You should have offered to get the water for her, even if she turned you down.”

“Eh? Oh, no! I wasn’t going. Very dangerous. You might fall down and sprain your ankle. Oh, no! Or she might fall down, or something. It’s very slippery up there by the well. You’re not going to get me to do it. Let her fetch her own water. Oh, no! no, no, no, no!”

“Wait, no! I’m not going. That’s really dangerous. You could fall and twist your ankle. Oh, no! Or she could fall or something. It’s super slippery up by the well. There’s no way you’re getting me to do it. Let her get her own water. Oh, no! no, no, no, no!”

“Louise dear,” remarked Madame Roget. “Let us hurry. Your father is most queer. I always warn him, but it is no good. If he sleeps in the afternoon he always gets an indisposition.”

“Louise, sweetheart,” said Madame Roget. “Let’s hurry. Your father is acting really strange. I always warn him, but it doesn’t help. If he takes a nap in the afternoon, he always ends up feeling unwell.”


[33]

[33]

A SOURCE OF IRRITATION

[34]

[34]


[35]

[35]

A SOURCE OF IRRITATION

To look at old Sam Gates you would never suspect him of having nerves. His sixty-nine years of close application to the needs of the soil had given him a certain earthy stolidity. To observe him hoeing, or thinning out a broad field of turnips, hardly attracted one’s attention. He seemed so much part and parcel of the whole scheme. He blended into the soil like a glorified swede. Nevertheless, the half-dozen people who claimed his acquaintance knew him to be a man who suffered from little moods of irritability.

To look at old Sam Gates, you would never guess he had nerves. His sixty-nine years of dedicated work on the land had given him a solid, down-to-earth presence. Watching him hoe or thin out a large field of turnips barely caught anyone's attention. He seemed completely integrated into the whole landscape, blending with the earth like an oversized turnip. However, the half-dozen people who knew him well were aware that he occasionally experienced small bursts of irritability.

And on this glorious morning a little incident annoyed him unreasonably. It concerned his niece Aggie. She was a plump girl with clear blue eyes and a face as round and inexpressive as the dumplings for which the county was famous. She came slowly across the long sweep of the downland and putting down the bundle wrapped up in a red handkerchief which contained his breakfast and dinner, she said:

And on this beautiful morning, a small incident bothered him for no good reason. It was about his niece Aggie. She was a chubby girl with bright blue eyes and a face as round and blank as the dumplings that the county was known for. She walked slowly across the long stretch of the hillside and placed the bundle wrapped in a red handkerchief, which held his breakfast and lunch, down and said:

“Well, uncle, is there any noos?”

“Well, uncle, is there any news?”

Now this may not appear to the casual reader to be a remark likely to cause irritation, but it affected old Sam Gates as a very silly and unnecessary question. It was moreover the constant repetition of it which was[36] beginning to anger him. He met his niece twice a day. In the morning she brought his bundle of food at seven, and when he passed his sister’s cottage on the way home to tea at five she was invariably hanging about the gate. And on each occasion she always said, in exactly the same voice:

Now, this might not seem like a big deal to someone just reading casually, but it struck old Sam Gates as a very silly and unnecessary question. Additionally, it was the constant repetition of it that was starting to annoy him. He saw his niece twice every day. In the morning, she brought him his food at seven, and when he passed his sister’s cottage on the way home for tea at five, she was always loitering by the gate. And every time, she always said, in exactly the same tone:

“Well, uncle, is there any noos?”

“Well, uncle, is there any news?”

“Noos”! What “noos” should there be? For sixty-nine years he had never lived further than five miles from Halvesham. For nearly sixty of those years he had bent his back above the soil. There were indeed historic occasions: once, for instance, when he had married Annie Hachet. And there was the birth of his daughter. There was also a famous occasion when he had visited London. Once he had been to a flower-show at Market Roughborough. He either went or didn’t go to church on Sundays. He had had many interesting chats with Mr. James at “The Cowman,” and three years ago had sold a pig to Mrs. Waig. But he couldn’t always have interesting “noos” of this sort up his sleeve. Didn’t the silly gaffer know that for the last three weeks he had been thinning out turnips for Mr. Dodge on this very same field? What “noos” could there be?

“No news!” What news could there be? For sixty-nine years, he had never lived more than five miles from Halvesham. For nearly sixty of those years, he had worked hard on the land. There were indeed memorable moments: like when he married Annie Hachet. And when his daughter was born. There was also that time he visited London. Once, he went to a flower show at Market Roughborough. He either went to church on Sundays or he didn’t. He had many interesting chats with Mr. James at “The Cowman,” and three years ago, he sold a pig to Mrs. Waig. But he couldn’t always have interesting news like that ready to share. Didn’t the silly boss know that for the last three weeks he had been thinning out turnips for Mr. Dodge in this very same field? What news could there be?

He blinked at his niece, and didn’t answer. She undid the parcel, and said:

He blinked at his niece and didn’t respond. She opened the package and said:

“Mrs. Goping’s fowl got out again last night.”

“Mrs. Goping's chickens got out again last night.”

He replied, “Ah!” in a non-committal manner, and began to munch his bread and bacon. His niece picked up the handkerchief and humming to herself, walked[37] back across the field. It was a glorious morning, and a white sea-mist added to the promise of a hot day. He sat there munching, thinking of nothing in particular, but gradually subsiding into a mood of placid content. He noticed the back of Aggie disappear in the distance. It was a mile to the cottage, and a mile and a half to Halvesham. Silly things, girls! They were all alike. One had to make allowances. He dismissed her from his thoughts and took a long swig of tea out of a bottle. Insects buzzed lazily. He tapped his pocket to assure himself that his pouch of shag was there, and then he continued munching. When he had finished, he lighted his pipe and stretched himself comfortably. He looked along the line of turnips he had thinned, and then across the adjoining field of swedes. Silver streaks appeared on the sea below the mist. In some dim way he felt happy in his solitude amidst this sweeping immensity of earth and sea and sky.

He replied, “Ah!” in an uninterested way, and started eating his bread and bacon. His niece picked up the handkerchief and, humming to herself, walked[37] back across the field. It was a beautiful morning, and a white sea mist hinted at a hot day ahead. He sat there eating, not thinking about anything in particular, but slowly sinking into a state of peaceful contentment. He saw Aggie’s back disappear in the distance. It was a mile to the cottage and a mile and a half to Halvesham. Silly girls! They were all the same. You had to make allowances. He pushed her out of his mind and took a long drink of tea from a bottle. Insects buzzed lazily around him. He tapped his pocket to make sure his pouch of shag was there, and then he kept eating. When he finished, he lit his pipe and reclined comfortably. He looked along the line of turnips he had thinned, and then across the nearby field of swedes. Silver streaks started to show on the sea below the mist. In a vague way, he felt happy in his solitude amid this vast expanse of earth, sea, and sky.

And then something else came to irritate him. It was one of “these dratted airyplanes.” “Airyplanes” were his pet aversion. He could find nothing to be said in their favor. Nasty, noisy, vile-smelling things that seared the heavens, and make the earth dangerous. And every day there seemed to be more and more of them. Of course “this old war” was responsible for a lot of them, he knew. The war was “a plaguey noosance.” They were short-handed on the farm. Beer and tobacco were dear, and Mrs. Stevens’ nephew had been and got wounded in the foot.

And then something else started to annoy him. It was one of “those damn airplanes.” “Airplanes” were his biggest pet peeve. He could find nothing good to say about them. They were nasty, noisy, horrible-smelling machines that scarred the sky and made the ground unsafe. And every day, it seemed like there were more and more of them. Of course, “this old war” was to blame for many of them, he knew. The war was “a real nuisance.” They were short-staffed on the farm. Beer and tobacco were expensive, and Mrs. Stevens’ nephew had been wounded in the foot.

He turned his attention once more to the turnips.[38] But an “airyplane” has an annoying genius for gripping one’s attention. When it appears on the scene, however much we dislike it, it has a way of taking stage-center; we cannot help constantly looking at it. And so it was with old Sam Gates. He spat on his hands, and blinked up at the sky. And suddenly the aeroplane behaved in a very extraordinary manner. It was well over the sea when it seemed to lurch in a drunken manner, and skimmed the water. Then it shot up at a dangerous angle and zigzagged. It started to go farther out, and then turned and made for the land. The engines were making a curious grating noise. It rose once more, and then suddenly dived downwards and came plump down right in the middle of Mr. Dodge’s field of swedes!

He focused his attention back on the turnips.[38] But an "airplane" has this annoying way of grabbing your attention. When it shows up, no matter how much we dislike it, it inevitably steals the spotlight; we can't help but keep looking at it. And so it was with old Sam Gates. He spat into his hands and squinted up at the sky. Suddenly, the airplane started to act quite strangely. It was well over the sea when it lurched around like it was drunk and skimmed the water. Then it shot up at a sharp angle and zigzagged. It began to head farther out, then turned and headed back toward the land. The engines were making a strange grinding noise. It climbed up once more, and then suddenly dove down, landing right in the middle of Mr. Dodge’s field of swedes!

Finally, as if not content with this desecration, it ran along the ground, ripping and tearing up twenty-five yards of good swedes, and then came to a stop. Old Sam Gates was in a terrible state. The aeroplane was more than a hundred yards away, but he waved his arms, and called out:

Finally, as if that destruction wasn’t enough, it raced along the ground, ripping up twenty-five yards of good swedes, and then came to a stop. Old Sam Gates was in a terrible state. The airplane was over a hundred yards away, but he waved his arms and shouted:

“Hi! you there, you mustn’t land in they swedes! They’re Mister Dodge’s.”

“Hi! You there, you shouldn’t land in those swedes! They belong to Mr. Dodge.”

The instant the aeroplane stopped a man leapt out, and gazed quickly round. He glanced at Sam Gates, and seemed uncertain whether to address him or whether to concentrate his attention on the flying-machine. The latter arrangement appeared to be his ultimate decision. He dived under the engine, and became frantically busy. Sam had never seen any one[39] work with such furious energy. But all the same, it was not to be tolerated. It was disgraceful. Sam shouted out across the field, almost hurrying in his indignation. When he approached within earshot of the aviator, he cried out again:

The moment the plane came to a stop, a man jumped out and quickly looked around. He glanced at Sam Gates, unsure whether to talk to him or focus on the aircraft. Eventually, he chose the latter. He ducked under the engine and got incredibly busy. Sam had never seen anyone work with such intense energy. But still, it was unacceptable. It was disgraceful. Sam shouted across the field, almost rushing in his anger. When he got close enough to the aviator, he yelled again:

“Hi! you mustn’t rest your old airyplane here. You’ve kicked up all Mr. Dodge’s swedes. A nice thing you’ve done!”

“Hi! You can't park your old airplane here. You've messed up all of Mr. Dodge's crops. What a great job you've done!”

He was within five yards when suddenly the aviator turned and covered him with a revolver! And, speaking in a sharp, staccato voice, he said:

He was within five yards when suddenly the pilot turned and aimed a revolver at him! And, speaking in a quick, clipped voice, he said:

“Old grandfather, you must sit down. I am very occupied. If you interfere or attempt to go away, I shoot you. So!”

“Grandpa, you need to sit down. I'm really busy. If you interrupt or try to leave, I’ll shoot you. Got it?”

Sam gazed at the horrid glittering little barrel, and gasped. Well, he never! To be threatened with murder when you’re doing your duty in your employer’s private property! But, still, perhaps the man was mad. A man must be more or less mad to go up in one of those crazy things. And life was very sweet on that summer morning, in spite of sixty-nine years. He sat down among the swedes.

Sam stared at the terrible shimmering little barrel and gasped. No way! To be threatened with murder while doing your job on your boss's private property! But then again, maybe the guy was crazy. You have to be somewhat insane to get into one of those wild things. And life felt really good on that summer morning, despite being sixty-nine years old. He sat down among the turnips.

The aviator was so busy with his cranks and machinery that he hardly deigned to pay him any attention, except to keep the revolver handy. He worked feverishly, and Sam sat watching him. At the end of ten minutes he seemed to have solved his troubles with the machine, but he still seemed very scared. He kept on glancing round and out to sea. When his repairs were completed, he straightened his back and wiped the[40] perspiration from his brow. He was apparently on the point of springing back into the machine and going off, when a sudden mood of facetiousness, caused by relief from the strain he had endured, came to him. He turned to old Sam, and smiled; at the same time remarking:

The pilot was so focused on his tools and machinery that he barely acknowledged him, except to keep the gun nearby. He worked frantically, while Sam just sat there watching him. After ten minutes, it looked like he had figured out the issues with the machine, but he still seemed really nervous. He kept glancing around and out at the ocean. Once he finished his repairs, he straightened up and wiped the[40] sweat from his forehead. He looked ready to jump back into the machine and take off, when all of a sudden, a wave of humor hit him, likely due to the relief from the stress he had been under. He turned to old Sam and smiled, then said:

“Well, old grandfather, and now we shall be all right, isn’t it?”

“Well, Grandpa, now we’ll be all good, right?”

He came close up to Sam, and then suddenly started back.

He stepped right up to Sam, and then suddenly pulled away.

“Gott!” he cried. “Paul Jouperts!”

“God!” he cried. “Paul Jouperts!”

Sam gazed at him, bewildered, and the madman started talking to him in some foreign tongue. Sam shook his head.

Sam looked at him, confused, and the madman began to speak to him in a language he didn’t understand. Sam shook his head.

“You no right,” he remarked, “to come bargin’ through they swedes of Mr. Dodge’s.”

“You have no right,” he said, “to come barging through Mr. Dodge’s fields.”

And then the aviator behaved in a most peculiar manner. He came up and examined his face very closely, and gave a gentle tug at his beard and hair, as if to see whether it were real or false.

And then the pilot acted in a really strange way. He came over and looked closely at his face, giving a light pull on his beard and hair, as if checking to see if they were real or fake.

“What is your name, old man?” he said.

“What’s your name, old man?” he asked.

“Sam Gates.”

"Sam Gates."

The aviator muttered some words that sounded something like “mare vudish!” and then turned to his machine. He appeared to be dazed and in a great state of doubt. He fumbled with some cranks, but kept glancing at old Sam. At last he got into the car and started the engine. Then he stopped, and sat there deep in thought. At last he suddenly sprang out again, and, approaching Sam, he said very deliberately:

The pilot muttered something that sounded like “mare vudish!” and then turned to his plane. He seemed confused and really uncertain. He fumbled with some levers but kept looking over at old Sam. Finally, he got into the cockpit and started the engine. Then he hesitated and sat there lost in thought. After a moment, he suddenly jumped out again and, walking over to Sam, said very deliberately:

[41]

[41]

“Old grandfather, I shall require you to accompany me.”

“Grandpa, I need you to come with me.”

Sam gasped.

Sam was in shock.

“Eh?” he said. “What be talkin’ about? ’company? I got these here lines o’ tarnips—I be already behoind—”

“Eh?” he said. “What are you talking about? Company? I have these turnip lines here—I’m already behind—”

The disgusting little revolver once more flashed before his eyes.

The gross little revolver flashed in front of his eyes again.

“There must be no discussion,” came the voice. “It is necessary that you mount the seat of the car without delay. Otherwise I shoot you like the dog you are. So!”

“There must be no discussion,” the voice said. “You need to get in the car seat right now. Otherwise, I'll shoot you like the dog you are. Got it!”

Old Sam was hale and hearty. He had no desire to die so ignominiously. The pleasant smell of the downland was in his nostrils. His foot was on his native heath. He mounted the seat of the car, contenting himself with a mutter:

Old Sam was fit and strong. He didn’t want to die so shamefully. The nice smell of the countryside filled his nostrils. His foot was on his home turf. He got into the car, satisfied with a mumble:

“Well, that be a noice thing, I must say! Flyin’ about the country with all they tarnips on’y half thinned—”

“Well, that’s a nice thing, I must say! Flying around the country with all those turnips only half thinned—”

He found himself strapped in. The aviator was in a fever of anxiety to get away. The engines made a ghastly splutter and noise. The thing started running along the ground. Suddenly it shot upwards, giving the swedes a last contemptuous kick. At twenty minutes to eight that morning old Sam found himself being borne right up above his fields and out to sea! His breath came quickly. He was a little frightened.

He found himself strapped in. The pilot was in a state of panic to take off. The engines made a disturbing sputter and noise. The aircraft started speeding along the ground. Suddenly, it shot upward, giving the fields a final dismissive kick. At 7:40 that morning, old Sam found himself rising high above his fields and heading out to sea! His breath came quickly. He was a bit scared.

“God forgive me!” he murmured.

“God forgive me!” he whispered.

The thing was so fantastic and sudden, his mind[42] could not grasp it. He only felt in some vague way that he was going to die, and he struggled to attune his mind to the change. He offered up a mild prayer to God, Who, he felt, must be very near, somewhere up in these clouds. Automatically he thought of the vicar at Halvesham, and a certain sense of comfort came to him at the reflection that on the previous day he had taken a “cooking of runner beans” to God’s representative in that village. He felt calmer after that, but the horrid machine seemed to go higher and higher. He could not turn in his seat and he could see nothing but sea and sky. Of course the man was mad, mad as a March hare. Of what earthly use could he be to any one? Besides, he had talked pure gibberish, and called him Paul Something, when he had already told him that his name was Sam. The thing would fall down into the sea soon, and they would both be drowned. Well, well! He had reached the three-score years and ten.

The situation was so amazing and unexpected that his mind[42] couldn't fully comprehend it. He only had a vague feeling that he was going to die, and he struggled to adjust his mind to the shift. He offered a quiet prayer to God, who he felt must be very close, somewhere in these clouds. Automatically, he thought of the vicar at Halvesham, and a sense of comfort washed over him at the thought that just the day before, he had delivered a “cooking of runner beans” to God’s representative in that village. He felt more at ease after that, but the terrifying machine seemed to rise higher and higher. He couldn’t turn in his seat, and all he could see was sea and sky. Of course, the man was insane, as mad as a March hare. What good could he possibly be to anyone? Plus, he had just babbled nonsense and called him Paul Something, even though he had already told him his name was Sam. The machine was bound to crash into the sea soon, and they would both drown. Well, well! He had lived to be seventy.

He was protected by a screen, but it seemed very cold. What on earth would Mr. Dodge say? There was no one left to work the land but a fool of a boy named Billy Whitehead at Deric’s Cross. On, on, on they went at a furious pace. His thoughts danced disconnectedly from incidents of his youth, conversations with the vicar, hearty meals in the open, a frock his sister wore on the day of the postman’s wedding, the drone of a psalm, the illness of some ewes belonging to Mr. Dodge. Everything seemed to be moving very rapidly, upsetting his sense of time. He felt outraged[43] and yet at moments there was something entrancing in the wild experience. He seemed to be living at an incredible pace. Perhaps he was really dead, and on his way to the Kingdom of God? Perhaps this was the way they took people?

He was shielded by a barrier, but it felt really cold. What in the world would Mr. Dodge think? There was no one left to tend to the land except for a foolish boy named Billy Whitehead at Deric’s Cross. On, on, on they moved at a breakneck speed. His mind jumped around from memories of his childhood, chats with the vicar, hearty meals outdoors, a dress his sister wore on the day of the postman’s wedding, the hum of a psalm, the sickness of some ewes belonging to Mr. Dodge. Everything felt like it was flying by, messing with his sense of time. He felt enraged[43] yet at times there was something captivating about the chaotic experience. He felt like he was living at an unbelievable speed. Maybe he was actually dead, on his way to the Kingdom of God? Maybe this was how they transported people?

After some indefinite period he suddenly caught sight of a long strip of land. Was this a foreign country? or were they returning? He had by this time lost all feeling of fear. He became interested, and almost disappointed. The “airyplane” was not such a fool as it looked. It was very wonderful to be right up in the sky like this. His dreams were suddenly disturbed by a fearful noise. He thought the machine was blown to pieces. It dived and ducked through the air, and things were bursting all round it and making an awful din; and then it went up higher and higher. After a while these noises ceased, and he felt the machine gliding downwards. They were really right above solid land, trees, and fields, and streams, and white villages. Down, down, down they glided. This was a foreign country. There were straight avenues of poplars and canals. This was not Halvesham. He felt the thing glide gently and bump into a field. Some men ran forward and approached them, and the mad aviator called out to them. They were mostly fat men in gray uniforms, and they all spoke this foreign gibberish. Some one came and unstrapped him. He was very stiff, and could hardly move. An exceptionally gross-looking man punched him in the ribs, and roared with laughter. They all stood round and laughed at him,[44] while the mad aviator talked to them and kept pointing at him. Then he said:

After an unknown amount of time, he suddenly spotted a long stretch of land. Was this a foreign country? Or were they going back? By this point, he had lost all sense of fear. He felt intrigued, almost disappointed. The “airplane” was smarter than it appeared. It was incredible to be up in the sky like this. His thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a terrifying noise. He thought the machine was going to explode. It swooped and spun through the air, with things bursting around it and making an awful racket; then it climbed higher and higher. After a while, the noises stopped, and he felt the machine gliding downwards. They were actually right above solid ground—trees, fields, streams, and white villages. Down, down, down they slid. This was a foreign country. There were straight avenues of poplars and canals. This was not Halvesham. He felt the machine glide gently and bump into a field. Some men rushed forward to meet them, and the wild pilot shouted to them. They were mostly fat men in gray uniforms, and they all spoke in a strange language. Someone came and unbuckled him. He was very stiff and could hardly move. An exceptionally large-looking man punched him in the ribs and burst out laughing. They all gathered around, laughing at him, while the wild pilot talked to them and kept pointing at him. Then he said:

“Old grandfather, you must come with me.”

“Grandpa, you have to come with me.”

He was led to a zinc-roofed building, and shut in a little room. There were guards outside with fixed bayonets. After a while the mad aviator appeared again, accompanied by two soldiers. He beckoned him to follow. They marched through a quadrangle and entered another building. They went straight into an office where a very important-looking man, covered with medals, sat in an easy-chair. There was a lot of saluting and clicking of heels.

He was taken to a building with a zinc roof and locked in a small room. There were guards outside with their bayonets ready. After a while, the crazy pilot showed up again, accompanied by two soldiers. He signaled him to follow. They walked through a courtyard and entered another building. They went straight into an office where a very important-looking man, adorned with medals, sat in a comfortable chair. There was a lot of saluting and the sound of heels clicking.

The aviator pointed at Sam and said something, and the man with the medals started at sight of him, and then came up and spoke to him in English.

The pilot pointed at Sam and said something, and the man with the medals jumped at the sight of him, then came over and spoke to him in English.

“What is your name? Where do you come from? Your age? The name and birthplace of your parents?”

“What’s your name? Where are you from? How old are you? What are your parents’ names and where were they born?”

He seemed intensely interested, and also pulled his hair and beard to see if they came off. So well and naturally did he and the aviator speak English that after a voluble cross-examination they drew apart, and continued the conversation in that language. And the extraordinary conversation was of this nature:

He seemed really interested and also tugged at his hair and beard to check if they were real. He and the aviator spoke English so fluently and naturally that after a lengthy questioning, they stepped back and continued talking in that language. And the strange conversation went like this:

“It is a most remarkable resemblance,” said the man with medals. “Unglaublich! But what do you want me to do with him, Hausemann?”

“It’s a really striking resemblance,” said the man with medals. “Unglaublich! But what do you want me to do with him, Hausemann?”

“The idea came to me suddenly, excellency,” replied the aviator, “and you may consider it worthless. It is just this. The resemblance is so amazing. Paul Jouperts has given us more valuable information than[45] any one at present in our service. And the English know that. There is an award of twenty-five thousand francs on his head. Twice they have captured him, and each time he escaped. All the company commanders and their staff have his photograph. He is a serious thorn in their flesh.”

“The idea hit me all of a sudden, sir,” the aviator said, “and you might think it’s worthless. Here it is. The resemblance is striking. Paul Jouperts has given us more valuable information than[45] anyone currently in our service. And the English know this. There's a bounty of twenty-five thousand francs for him. They’ve caught him twice, and both times he got away. Every company commander and their staff have his photo. He’s a real pain for them.”

“Well?” replied the man with the medals.

“Well?” replied the man with the medals.

The aviator whispered confidently:

The pilot whispered confidently:

“Suppose, your excellency, that they found the dead body of Paul Jouperts?”

"Imagine, Your Excellency, if they discovered the dead body of Paul Jouperts?"

“Well?” replied the big man.

"Well?" said the big guy.

“My suggestion is this. To-morrow, as you know, the English are attacking Hill 701, which we have for tactical reasons decided to evacuate. If after the attack they find the dead body of Paul Jouperts in, say, the second lines, they will take no further trouble in the matter. You know their lack of thoroughness. Pardon me, I was two years at Oxford University. And consequently Paul Jouperts will be able to—prosecute his labors undisturbed.”

“My suggestion is this. Tomorrow, as you know, the English are attacking Hill 701, which we’ve decided to evacuate for tactical reasons. If after the attack they find the dead body of Paul Jouperts in, let’s say, the second lines, they won’t bother investigating any further. You know how careless they are. Excuse me, I spent two years at Oxford University. So, Paul Jouperts will be able to continue his work without any disturbances.”

The man with the medals twirled his mustache and looked thoughtfully at his colleague.

The man with the medals twirled his mustache and looked thoughtfully at his colleague.

“Where is Paul at the moment?” he asked.

“Where's Paul right now?” he asked.

“He is acting as a gardener at the Convent of St. Eloise at Mailleton-en-haut, which, as you know, is one hundred meters from the headquarters of the British central army staff.”

“He's working as a gardener at the Convent of St. Eloise in Mailleton-en-haut, which, as you know, is one hundred meters from the headquarters of the British central army staff.”

The man with the medals took two or three rapid turns up and down the room. Then he said:

The man with the medals paced quickly back and forth in the room a couple of times. Then he said:

“Your plan is excellent, Hausemann. The only point[46] of difficulty is that the attack started this morning.”

“Your plan is great, Hausemann. The only issue is that the attack began this morning.”

“This morning?” exclaimed the other.

"Is it this morning?" exclaimed the other.

“Yes. The English attacked unexpectedly at dawn. We have already evacuated the first line. We shall evacuate the second line at eleven-fifty. It is now ten-fifteen. There may be just time.”

“Yes. The English launched a surprise attack at dawn. We’ve already pulled back the first line. We will pull back the second line at eleven-fifty. It’s now ten-fifteen. There might just be enough time.”

He looked suddenly at old Sam in the way that a butcher might look at a prize heifer at an agricultural show, and remarked casually:

He suddenly looked at old Sam like a butcher would look at a prize heifer at a county fair and said casually:

“Yes, it is a remarkable resemblance. It seems a pity not to ... do something with it.”

“Yes, it’s a striking resemblance. It seems like a shame not to ... do something with it.”

Then, speaking in German, he added:

Then, speaking in German, he added:

“It is worth trying, and if it succeeds, the higher authorities shall hear of your lucky accident and inspiration, Herr Hausemann. Instruct Over-lieutenant Schutz to send the old fool by two orderlies to the east extremity of trench 38. Keep him there till the order of evacuation is given. Then shoot him, but don’t disfigure him, and lay him out face upwards.”

“It’s worth a shot, and if it works out, the higher-ups will hear about your lucky break and inspiration, Herr Hausemann. Tell Over-lieutenant Schutz to send the old fool with two orderlies to the far end of trench 38. Keep him there until the order for evacuation is given. Then shoot him, but don’t mess up his face, and lay him out face up.”

The aviator saluted and withdrew, accompanied by his victim. Old Sam had not understood the latter part of the conversation, and he did not catch quite all that was said in English, but he felt that somehow things were not becoming too promising, and it was time to assert himself. So he remarked when they got outside:

The pilot saluted and left, with his victim by his side. Old Sam hadn’t understood the latter part of their conversation and didn’t catch everything that was said in English, but he sensed that things weren’t looking too good and that it was time for him to speak up. So, he said as they stepped outside:

“Now, look’ee here, mister, when be I goin’ back to my tarnips?”

“Now, listen here, mister, when am I going back to my turnips?”

And the aviator replied with a pleasant smile:

And the pilot responded with a friendly smile:

“Do not be disturbed, old grandfather; you shall ... get back to the soil quite soon.”

“Don’t worry, Grandpa; you’ll be back to the earth really soon.”

[47]

[47]

In a few moments he found himself in a large gray car, accompanied by four soldiers. The aviator left him. The country was barren and horrible, full of great pits and rents, and he could hear the roar of artillery and the shriek of shells. Overhead, aeroplanes were buzzing angrily. He seemed to be suddenly transported from the Kingdom of God to the Pit of Darkness. He wondered whether the vicar had enjoyed the runner-beans. He could not imagine runner-beans growing here, runner-beans, ay! or anything else. If this was a foreign country, give him dear old England.

In a few moments, he found himself in a large gray car, along with four soldiers. The pilot had left him. The land was desolate and terrible, filled with huge craters and cracks, and he could hear the booming of artillery and the wailing of shells. Above him, planes were buzzing angrily. It felt as if he had been suddenly transported from the Kingdom of God to the Pit of Darkness. He wondered if the vicar had enjoyed the runner beans. He couldn't imagine runner beans growing here, or anything else for that matter. If this was a foreign country, he preferred dear old England.

Gr-r-r-r—Bang! Something exploded just at the rear of the car. The soldiers ducked, and one of them pushed him in the stomach and swore.

Gr-r-r-r—Bang! Something blew up right behind the car. The soldiers ducked, and one of them shoved him in the stomach and cursed.

“An ugly-looking lout,” he thought. “If I was twenty years younger I’d give him a punch in the eye that ’ud make him sit up.”

“An ugly-looking jerk,” he thought. “If I were twenty years younger, I’d give him a punch in the eye that would make him pay attention.”

The car came to a halt by a broken wall. The party hurried out and dived behind a mound. He was pulled down a kind of shaft and found himself in a room buried right underground, where three officers were drinking and smoking. The soldiers saluted and handed a typewritten dispatch. The officers looked at him drunkenly, and one came up and pulled his beard and spat in his face, and called him “an old English swine.” He then shouted out some instructions to the soldiers, and they led him out into the narrow trench. One walked behind him and occasionally prodded him with the butt-end of a gun. The trenches were half-full of water, and reeked of gases, powder, and decaying matter.[48] Shells were constantly bursting overhead, and in places the trenches had crumbled and were nearly blocked up. They stumbled on, sometimes falling, sometimes dodging moving masses, and occasionally crawling over the dead bodies of men. At last they reached a deserted-looking trench, and one of the soldiers pushed him into the corner of it and growled something, and then disappeared round the angle. Old Sam was exhausted. He lay panting against the mud wall, expecting every minute to be blown to pieces by one of those infernal things that seemed to be getting more and more insistent. The din went on for nearly twenty minutes, and he was alone in the trench. He fancied he heard a whistle amidst the din. Suddenly one of the soldiers who had accompanied him came stealthily round the corner. And there was a look in his eye old Sam did not like. When he was within five yards the soldier raised his rifle and pointed it at Sam’s body. Some instinct impelled the old man at that instant to throw himself forward on his face. As he did so, he was conscious of a terrible explosion, and he had just time to observe the soldier falling in a heap near him, when he lost consciousness.

The car stopped next to a broken wall. The group quickly got out and ducked behind a mound. He was pulled down a sort of shaft and found himself in a room buried underground, where three officers were drinking and smoking. The soldiers saluted and handed over a typewritten dispatch. The officers looked at him drunkenly, and one approached him, yanked on his beard, spat in his face, and called him “an old English swine.” Then he shouted some orders to the soldiers, and they took him out into the narrow trench. One walked behind him, occasionally poking him with the butt of a gun. The trenches were half-filled with water and smelled of gas, gunpowder, and decay. Shells were continuously exploding overhead, and in places, the trenches had collapsed, nearly blocking the way. They trudged on, sometimes falling, sometimes dodging moving debris, and occasionally crawling over the dead bodies of men. Finally, they reached a deserted-looking trench, and one of the soldiers shoved him into a corner and growled something before disappearing around the bend. Old Sam was exhausted. He leaned against the muddy wall, expecting any moment to be blown to pieces by one of those infernal shells that seemed to be getting louder. The noise continued for nearly twenty minutes, and he was alone in the trench. He thought he heard a whistle amidst the chaos. Suddenly, one of the soldiers who had come with him crept around the corner. There was a look in his eye that made Old Sam uneasy. When he was about five yards away, the soldier raised his rifle and aimed it at Sam's body. Some instinct made the old man throw himself forward onto his face just in time. As he did, he felt a terrible explosion and barely noticed the soldier collapsing in a heap nearby before he lost consciousness.

His consciousness appeared to return to him with a snap. He was lying on a plank in a building, and he heard some one say:

His awareness seemed to come back to him all at once. He was lying on a board in a building, and he heard someone say:

“I believe the old boy’s English.”

“I believe the old guy’s English.”

He looked round. There were a lot of men lying there, and others in khaki and white overalls were busy[49] amongst them. He sat up and rubbed his head, and said:

He looked around. There were a lot of men lying there, and others in khaki and white overalls were busy[49] among them. He sat up and rubbed his head and said:

“Hi, mister, where be I now?”

“Hey, mister, where am I now?”

Some one laughed, and a young man came up and said:

Somebody laughed, and a young man walked over and said:

“Well, old thing, you were very nearly in hell. Who the devil are you?”

“Well, you almost ended up in hell. Who the heck are you?”

Some one else came up, and the two of them were discussing him. One of them said:

Some other person came over, and the two of them were talking about him. One of them said:

“He’s quite all right. He was only knocked out. Better take him to the colonel. He may be a spy.”

"He's fine. He just got knocked out. We should take him to the colonel. He might be a spy."

The other came up, and touched his shoulder, and remarked:

The other person approached, touched his shoulder, and commented:

“Can you walk, uncle?”

"Can you walk, Uncle?"

He replied: “Ay, I can walk all right.”

He replied, “Yeah, I can walk just fine.”

“That’s an old sport!”

“That’s an old game!”

The young man took his arm and helped him out of the room, into a courtyard. They entered another room, where an elderly, kind-faced officer was seated at a desk. The officer looked up, and exclaimed:

The young man took his arm and helped him out of the room and into a courtyard. They entered another room, where an elderly, kind-faced officer was seated at a desk. The officer looked up and exclaimed:

“Good God! Bradshaw, do you know who you’ve got there?”

“OMG! Bradshaw, do you know who you have there?”

The younger one said, “No. Who, sir?”

The younger one said, “No. Who is that, sir?”

“By God! It’s Paul Jouperts!” exclaimed the colonel.

“By God! It’s Paul Jouperts!” the colonel exclaimed.

“Paul Jouperts! Great Scott!”

"Paul Jouperts! Oh my God!"

The old officer addressed himself to Sam. He said:

The old officer spoke to Sam. He said:

“Well, we’ve got you once more, Paul. We shall have to be a little more careful this time.”

“Well, we’ve got you again, Paul. We’ll need to be a bit more cautious this time.”

[50]

[50]

The young officer said:

The young officer said:

“Shall I detail a squad, sir?”

"Should I assign a team, sir?"

“We can’t shoot him without a court-martial,” replied the kind-faced senior.

“We can’t shoot him without a trial,” replied the kind-faced officer.

Then Sam interpolated:

Then Sam added:

“Look’ee here, sir. I’m fair sick of all this. My name bean’t Paul. My name’s Sam. I was a-thinnin’ a line of tarnips—”

“Look here, sir. I’m really tired of all this. My name isn’t Paul. My name’s Sam. I was thinking about a line of turnips—”

Both officers burst out laughing, and the younger one said:

Both officers laughed out loud, and the younger one said:

“Good! damn good! Isn’t it amazing, sir, the way they not only learn the language, but even take the trouble to learn a dialect?”

“Good! Damn good! Isn’t it amazing, sir, how they not only learn the language but also go out of their way to learn a dialect?”

The older man busied himself with some papers.

The old man focused on some papers.

“Well, Sam,” he remarked, “you shall be given a chance to prove your identity. Our methods are less drastic than those of your Boche masters. What part of England are you supposed to come from? Let’s see how much you can bluff us with your topographical knowledge.”

"Well, Sam," he said, "you'll get a chance to prove who you are. Our methods are less extreme than those of your German leaders. Which part of England are you supposed to come from? Let's see how much you can fake your way through with your knowledge of the area."

“Oi was a-thinnin’ a loine o’ tarnips this morning at ’alf-past seven on Mr. Dodge’s farm at Halvesham, when one o’ these ’ere airyplanes come roight down among the swedes. I tells ’ee to get clear o’ that, when the feller what gets owt o’ the car, ’e drahs a revowler and ’e says, ‘You must ’company I—’”

“Today at half-past seven on Mr. Dodge’s farm in Halvesham, I was thinking about a line of turnips when one of those airplanes came right down into the swedes. I told you to get away from that when the guy who got out of the car pulled out a revolver and said, ‘You must accompany me—’”

“Yes, yes,” interrupted the senior officer; “that’s all very good. Now tell me—Where is Halvesham? What is the name of the local vicar? I’m sure you’d know that.”

“Yes, yes,” interrupted the senior officer; “that’s all very good. Now tell me—Where is Halvesham? What’s the name of the local vicar? I’m sure you’d know that.”

[51]

[51]

Old Sam rubbed his chin.

Old Sam stroked his chin.

“I sits under the Reverend David Pryce, mister, and a good God-fearin’ man he be. I took him a cookin’ o’ runner-beans on’y yesterday. I works for Mr. Dodge what owns Greenway Manor and ’as a stud-farm at Newmarket they say.”

“I sit under Reverend David Pryce, sir, and he’s a good God-fearing man. I brought him some runner beans just yesterday. I work for Mr. Dodge, who owns Greenway Manor and has a stud farm in Newmarket, or so they say.”

“Charles Dodge?” asked the younger officers.

“Charles Dodge?” the younger officers asked.

“Ay, Charlie Dodge. You write and ask ’un if he knows old Sam Gates.”

“Ay, Charlie Dodge. You write and ask him if he knows old Sam Gates.”

The two officers looked at each other, and the older one looked at Sam more closely.

The two officers exchanged glances, and the older one took a closer look at Sam.

“It’s very extraordinary,” he remarked.

“It's really something special,” he remarked.

“Everybody knows Charlie Dodge,” added the younger officer.

“Everyone knows Charlie Dodge,” added the younger officer.

It was at that moment that a wave of genius swept over old Sam. He put his hand to his head, and suddenly jerked out:

It was at that moment that a surge of inspiration hit old Sam. He placed his hand on his head and suddenly exclaimed:

“What’s more, I can tell ’ee where this yere Paul is. He’s actin’ a gardener in a convent at—”

“What’s more, I can tell you where this Paul is. He’s working as a gardener in a convent at—”

He puckered up his brow and fumbled with his hat, and then got out:

He furrowed his brow and fumbled with his hat, and then got out:

“Mighteno.”

“Might no.”

The older officer gasped.

The older officer was shocked.

“Mailleton-en-haut! Good God! What makes you say that, old man?”

“Mailleton-up-high! Oh my gosh! Why would you say that, old man?”

Sam tried to give an account of his experience, and the things he had heard said by the German officers. But he was getting tired, and he broke off in the middle to say:

Sam tried to explain what he had gone through and the things he had heard the German officers say. But he was getting tired, and he paused in the middle to say:

“Ye haven’t a bite o’ somethin’ to eat, I suppose,[52] mister, and a glass o’ beer? I usually ’as my dinner at twelve o’clock.”

“Do you happen to have a bite to eat, sir,[52] and a glass of beer? I usually have my dinner at noon.”

Both the officers laughed, and the older said:

Both officers laughed, and the older one said:

“Get him some food, Bradshaw, and a bottle of beer from the mess. We’ll keep this old man here. He interests me.”

“Get him some food, Bradshaw, and a bottle of beer from the mess. We’ll keep this old guy here. He’s interesting to me.”

While the younger man was doing this, the chief pressed a button and summoned another junior officer.

While the younger man was doing this, the chief pressed a button and called over another junior officer.

“Gateshead,” he remarked, “ring up G. H. Q. and instruct them to arrest the gardener in that convent at the top of the hill, and then to report.”

“Gateshead,” he said, “call G. H. Q. and tell them to arrest the gardener at that convent on the hill, and then to report back.”

The officer saluted and went out, and in a few minutes a tray of hot food and a large bottle of beer was brought to the old man, and he was left alone in the corner of the room to negotiate this welcome compensation. And in the execution he did himself and his country credit. In the meanwhile the officers were very busy. People were coming and going and examining maps and telephone-bells were ringing furiously. They did not disturb old Sam’s gastronomic operations. He cleaned up the mess tins and finished the last drop of beer. The senior officer found time to offer him a cigarette, but he replied:

The officer saluted and left, and a few minutes later, a tray of hot food and a large bottle of beer were brought to the old man, leaving him alone in the corner of the room to enjoy this well-deserved treat. He managed to do justice to the meal as well as to his country. Meanwhile, the officers were very busy. People kept coming and going, examining maps, and the phones were ringing non-stop. They didn’t bother old Sam while he had his meal. He polished off the mess tins and finished the last drop of beer. The senior officer took a moment to offer him a cigarette, but he replied:

“Thank’ee kindly, but I’d rather smoke my pipe.”

“Thanks a lot, but I’d prefer to smoke my pipe.”

The colonel smiled, and said:

The colonel smiled and said:

“Oh, all right. Smoke away.”

“Oh, fine. Go ahead and smoke.”

He lighted up, and the fumes of the shag permeated the room. Some one opened another window, and the young officer who had addressed him at first suddenly looked at him and exclaimed:

He lit up, and the smoke from the shag filled the room. Someone opened another window, and the young officer who had spoken to him first suddenly looked at him and exclaimed:

[53]

[53]

“Innocent, by God! You couldn’t get shag like that anywhere but in Norfolk.”

“Innocent, seriously! You can’t find a hookup like that anywhere except in Norfolk.”

It must have been over an hour later when another officer entered, and saluted.

It must have been more than an hour later when another officer came in and saluted.

“Message from G. H. Q., sir,” he said.

“Message from G. H. Q., sir,” he said.

“Well?”

"What's up?"

“They have arrested the gardener at the convent of St. Eloise, and they have every reason to believe that he is the notorious Paul Jouperts.”

“They’ve arrested the gardener at the convent of St. Eloise, and they have every reason to believe that he’s the notorious Paul Jouperts.”

The colonel stood up, and his eyes beamed. He came over to old Sam and shook his hand.

The colonel stood up, and his eyes lit up. He walked over to old Sam and shook his hand.

“Mr. Gates,” he said, “you are an old brick. You will probably hear more of this. You have probably been the means of delivering something very useful into our hands. Your own honor is vindicated. A loving government will probably award you five shillings or a Victoria Cross, or something of that sort. In the meantime, what can I do for you?”

“Mr. Gates,” he said, “you’re quite the solid guy. You’ll probably hear more about this. You've likely played a key role in bringing something very valuable into our possession. Your honor is restored. A grateful government will probably give you five shillings or a Victoria Cross, or something like that. In the meantime, how can I help you?”

Old Sam scratched his chin.

Old Sam scratched his chin.

“Oi want to get back ’ome,” he said.

"Hey, I want to go back home," he said.

“Well, even that might be arranged.”

“Well, that could be arranged too.”

“Oi want to get back ’ome in toime for tea.”

“Oi want to get back home in time for tea.”

“What time do you have tea?”

“What time do you have tea?”

“Foive o’clock or thereabouts.”

"Five o'clock or so."

“I see.”

"Got it."

A kindly smile came into the eyes of the colonel. He turned to another officer standing by the table, and said:

A warm smile appeared in the colonel's eyes. He turned to another officer standing by the table and said:

“Raikes, is any one going across this afternoon with dispatches?”

“Raikes, is anyone going across this afternoon with the dispatches?”

[54]

[54]

“Yes, sir,” replied the young officer. “Commander Jennings is leaving at three o’clock.”

“Yes, sir,” replied the young officer. “Commander Jennings is leaving at 3 PM.”

“You might ask him to come and see me.”

“You could ask him to come and see me.”

Within ten minutes a young man in a flight-commander’s uniform entered.

Within ten minutes, a young man in a flight commander’s uniform walked in.

“Ah, Jennings,” said the colonel, “here is a little affair which concerns the honor of the British army. My friend here, Sam Gates, has come over from Halvesham in Norfolk in order to give us valuable information. I have promised him that he shall get home to tea at five o’clock. Can you take a passenger?”

“Ah, Jennings,” the colonel said, “there’s a small matter that involves the honor of the British army. My friend here, Sam Gates, has traveled from Halvesham in Norfolk to give us some important information. I’ve assured him he can be home in time for tea at five o’clock. Can you take a passenger?”

The young man threw back his head and laughed.

The young man threw his head back and laughed.

“Lord!” he exclaimed. “What an old sport! Yes, I expect I could just manage it. Where is the Godforsaken place?”

“Wow!” he shouted. “What an old sport! Yeah, I think I could handle it. Where’s that godforsaken place?”

A large ordnance-map of Norfolk (which had been captured from a German officer) was produced, and the young man studied it closely.

A large map of Norfolk (which had been taken from a German officer) was presented, and the young man examined it carefully.

At three o’clock precisely old Sam, finding himself something of a hero and quite glad to escape from the embarrassment which this position entailed, once more sped skywards in an “airyplane.”

At exactly three o'clock, old Sam, feeling a bit like a hero and relieved to escape the awkwardness that came with it, soared back into the sky in an “airyplane.”

At twenty minutes to five he landed once more amongst Mr. Dodge’s swedes. The breezy young airman shook hands with him and departed inland. Old Sam sat down and surveyed the field.

At 4:40, he touched down again in Mr. Dodge’s turnips. The cheerful young pilot shook his hand and headed inland. Old Sam took a seat and looked over the field.

“A noice thing, I must say,” he muttered to himself, as he looked along the lines of unthinned turnips. He still had twenty minutes, and so he went slowly along and completed a line which he had commenced in the[55] morning. He then deliberately packed up his dinner-things and his tools, and started out for home.

“A nice thing, I must say,” he muttered to himself as he looked along the rows of unthinned turnips. He still had twenty minutes, so he walked slowly along and finished a row he had started in the[55] morning. He then thoughtfully packed up his lunch and tools, and set out for home.

As he came round the corner of Stillway’s Meadow, and the cottage came in view, his niece stepped out of the copse with a basket on her arm.

As he rounded the corner of Stillway’s Meadow, and the cottage came into sight, his niece walked out of the thicket with a basket on her arm.

“Well, uncle,” she said, “is there any noos?”

“Well, uncle,” she said, “is there any news?”

It was then that old Sam became really irritated.

It was then that old Sam got really annoyed.

“Noos!” he said. “Noos! drat the girl! What noos should there be? Sixty-nine year I live in these here parts, hoein’ and weedin’ and thinnin’, and mindin’ Charlie Dodge’s sheep. Am I one o’ these here storybook folk havin’ noos ’appen to me all the time? Ain’t it enough, ye silly dab-faced zany, to earn enough to buy a bite o’ some’at to eat, and a glass o’ beer, and a place to rest a’s head o’night, without always wantin’ noos, noos, noos! I tell ’ee, it’s this that leads ’ee to ’alf the troubles in the world. Devil take the noos!”

“No news!” he said. “No news! Damn that girl! What news could there possibly be? I've lived in these parts for sixty-nine years, working the fields and taking care of Charlie Dodge’s sheep. Am I one of those storybook characters who always has news happening to them? Isn’t it enough, you silly, clueless fool, to earn just enough to buy a bite to eat, a glass of beer, and a place to rest my head at night, without always craving news, news, news! I tell you, this is what leads to half the troubles in the world. To hell with the news!”

And turning his back on her, he went fuming up the hill.

And turning his back on her, he walked angrily up the hill.

[56]

[56]


[57]

[57]

THE BROTHERS

[58]

[58]


[59]

[59]

THE BROTHERS

In the twilight of his mind there stirred the dim realization of pain. He could not account for this nor for his lack of desire to thrust the pain back. It was moreover mellowed by the alluring embraces of an enveloping darkness, a darkness which he idly desired to pierce, and yet which soothed him with its caliginous touch. Some subconscious voice, too, kept repeating that it was ridiculous, that he really had control, that the darkness was due to the fact that it was night, and that he was in his own bed. In the room across the passage his mother was sleeping peacefully. And yet the pain, which he could not account for, seemed to press him down and to rack his lower limbs. There was a soothing interval of utter darkness and forgetfulness, and then the little waves of febrile consciousness began to lap the shores of distant dreams, and visions of half-forgotten episodes became clear and pregnant.

In the fading light of his mind, he felt a vague awareness of pain. He couldn't explain it or understand why he didn't want to push it away. It was also softened by the comforting embrace of surrounding darkness, a darkness he lazily wanted to break through, yet which calmed him with its shadowy touch. A little voice inside him kept saying it was silly, that he really was in control, that the darkness was just because it was night and he was in his own bed. In the room across the hall, his mother was sleeping peacefully. Still, the unexplainable pain felt like it was weighing him down and aching in his legs. There was a comforting moment of complete darkness and forgetfulness, and then little waves of feverish awareness began to wash over distant dreams, making visions of half-forgotten events clear and vivid.

He remembered standing by the French window in their own dining-room, his mother’s dining-room, rapping his knuckles gently on the panes. Beneath the window was the circular bed of hollyhocks just beginning to flower, and below the terrace the great avenue of elms nodding lazily in the sun. He could hear the[60] coffee-urn on its brass tripod humming comfortably behind him while he waited for his mother to come down to breakfast. He was alone, and the newspaper in his hand was shaking. War! He could not grasp the significance of the mad news that lay trembling on the sheets. His mother entered the room, and as he hurried across to kiss her he noted the pallor of her cheeks.

He remembered standing by the French window in their dining room, his mother’s dining room, gently tapping his knuckles on the glass. Below the window was a circular bed of hollyhocks just starting to bloom, and beneath the terrace, the tall elms swayed lazily in the sunlight. He could hear the coffee urn on its brass tripod humming softly behind him as he waited for his mother to come down for breakfast. He was alone, and the newspaper in his hand was shaking. War! He couldn’t comprehend the weight of the shocking news that quivered on the pages. His mother entered the room, and as he rushed over to kiss her, he noticed the paleness of her cheeks.

They sat down, and she poured him out his coffee as she had done ever since he could remember. Then, fixing her dark eyes on his and toying restlessly with the beads upon her breast, she said:

They sat down, and she poured him his coffee like she had done for as long as he could remember. Then, locking her dark eyes onto his and nervously playing with the beads on her chest, she said:

“It’s true, then, Robin?”

"Is it true, then, Robin?"

He nodded, and his eyes wandered to the disfiguring newspaper. He felt as though he were in some way responsible for the intrusion of the world calamity into the sanctity of his mother’s life; he muttered:

He nodded, and his eyes drifted to the damning newspaper. He felt like he was somehow responsible for the world's disaster invading the peace of his mother's life; he muttered:

“It’s a dreadful business, mother.”

“It’s a terrible situation, mom.”

His gaze wandered again out of the window between the row of elms. Geddes, the steward, was walking briskly, followed by two collies. Beyond the slope was a hay-cart lumbering slowly in the direction of the farm. “Parsons is rather late with the clover,” he thought. He felt a desire to look at things in little bits; the large things seemed overpowering, insupportable. Above all, his mother must not suffer. It was dreadful that any one should suffer, but most of all his mother. He must devote himself to protecting her against the waves of foreboding that were already evident on her face. But what could he say? He knew what was uppermost in[61] her mind—Giles! He had no illusions. He knew that his mother adored his elder brother more passionately than she did himself. It was only natural. He too adored Giles. Everybody did. Giles was his hero, his god. Ever since he could remember, Giles had epitomized to him everything splendid, brave, and chivalrous. He was so glorious to look at, so strong, so manly. The vision of that morning merged into other visions of the sun-lit hours with Giles—his pride when quite a little boy if Giles would play with him; his pride when he saw Giles in flannels, going in to bat at cricket; the terror in his heart when one day he saw Giles thrown from a horse, and then the passionate tears of love and thankfulness when he saw him rise and run laughing after the beast. He remembered that when Giles went away to school his mother found him crying, and told him he must not be sentimental. But he could not help it. He used to visualize the daily life of Giles and write to him long letters which his brother seldom answered. Of course he did not expect Giles to answer; he would have no time. He was one of the most popular boys at school and a champion at every sport.

His gaze drifted again out the window between the row of elms. Geddes, the steward, was walking briskly, followed by two collies. Beyond the slope, a hay-cart was slowly making its way toward the farm. “Parsons is pretty late with the clover,” he thought. He felt a need to focus on small details; the big picture seemed overwhelming, unbearable. Above all, his mother must not suffer. It was terrible that anyone should suffer, but especially his mother. He had to dedicate himself to shielding her from the waves of anxiety that were already visible on her face. But what could he say? He knew what was most on her mind—Giles! He had no illusions. He knew his mother adored his older brother more passionately than she cared for him. It was only natural. He adored Giles too. Everyone did. Giles was his hero, his idol. For as long as he could remember, Giles had represented everything wonderful, brave, and chivalrous to him. He was so amazing to look at, so strong, so manly. The memory of that morning blended with other memories of sunlit hours with Giles—his pride when he was a little kid if Giles would play with him; his pride when he saw Giles in flannels, going in to bat at cricket; the fear in his heart when he saw Giles thrown from a horse one day, and then the passionate tears of love and gratitude when he saw him get up and laugh as he chased after the horse. He remembered that when Giles left for school, his mother found him in tears, telling him not to be sentimental. But he couldn't help it. He used to imagine Giles's daily life and write him long letters that his brother rarely responded to. Of course, he didn't expect Giles to reply; he wouldn’t have the time. He was one of the most popular boys at school and excelled at every sport.

Then the vision of that morning when the newspaper brought its disturbing news vanished with the memory of his mother standing by his side, her arm round his waist, as they gazed together across a field of nodding corn....

Then the memory of that morning when the newspaper brought its unsettling news faded along with the image of his mother standing beside him, her arm around his waist, as they looked together out across a field of swaying corn...

Troubled visions, then, of Giles returning post-haste from Oxford, of himself in the village talking to every[62] one he met about “the dreadful business,” speaking to the people on the farm, and to old Joe Walters, the wheelwright, whose voice he could remember saying:

Troubled visions, then, of Giles rushing back from Oxford, of himself in the village talking to everyone he met about “the dreadful business,” speaking to the people on the farm, and to old Joe Walters, the wheelwright, whose voice he could remember saying:

“Ay, tha’ woan’t tak’ thee, Master Robin.”

“Ay, that won’t take you, Master Robin.”

He remembered talking to Mr. Meads at the general shop, and to the Reverend Quirk, whose precious voice he could almost hear declaiming:

He remembered talking to Mr. Meads at the general store, and to Reverend Quirk, whose distinct voice he could almost hear speaking:

“I presume your brother will apply for a commission.”

“I assume your brother will apply for a commission.”

He had wandered then up on to the downs and tried to think about “the dreadful business” in a detached way, but it made him tremble. He listened to the bees droning on the heather, and saw the smoke from the hamlet over by Wodehurst trailing peacefully to the sky. “The dreadful business” seemed incredible.

He had wandered up onto the hills and tried to think about “the dreadful business” in a detached way, but it made him shake with anxiety. He listened to the bees buzzing over the heather and saw the smoke from the village over by Wodehurst drifting peacefully into the sky. “The dreadful business” felt unbelievable.

It was some days later that he met his friend Jerry Lawson wandering up there, with a terrier at his heels. Lawson was a sculptor, a queer chap, whom most people thought a fanatic. Jerry blazed down on him:

It was a few days later when he ran into his friend Jerry Lawson wandering around up there, with a terrier following him. Lawson was a sculptor, an odd guy, whom most people considered a fanatic. Jerry fired down at him:

“This is hell, Robin. Hell let loose. It could have been avoided. It’s a trade war. At the back of it all is business, business, business. And millions of boys will be sacrificed for commercial purposes. Our policy is just as much at fault as—theirs. Look what we did at—”

“This is hell, Robin. Total chaos. It could have been avoided. It’s a trade war. Behind it all is business, business, business. And millions of young men will be sacrificed for commercial interests. Our policy is just as much to blame as theirs. Look at what we did at—”

For an hour he listened to the diatribe of Lawson, tremulously silent. He had nothing to reply. He detested politics and the subtleties of diplomacy. He had left school early owing to an illness which had affected his heart. He had spent his life upon these downs[63] and among his books. He could not adjust the gentle impulses of his being to the violent demands of that foreboding hour. When Lawson had departed, he had sat there a long time. Was Lawson right?

For an hour, he listened to Lawson's rant, quietly overwhelmed. He had nothing to say. He hated politics and the nuances of diplomacy. He had left school early due to an illness that affected his heart. He had spent his life on these hills and among his books. He couldn't reconcile the gentle inclinations of his nature with the intense demands of that troubling moment. After Lawson left, he sat there for a long time. Was Lawson right?

He wandered home, determining that he would read more history, more political economy; he would get to the root of “this dreadful business.”

He walked home, deciding that he would read more history and political economy; he would get to the bottom of “this dreadful business.”

He wanted to talk to Giles, to find out what he really thought, but the radiant god seemed unapproachable; or rode roughshod over the metaphysical doubts of his brother, and laughed. Giles had no misgivings. His conscience was dynamically secure. Besides, there was “the mater.”

He wanted to talk to Giles to find out what he really thought, but the radiant god seemed unapproachable; or brushed off the deep doubts of his brother and laughed. Giles had no concerns. His conscience was solidly secure. Besides, there was “the mater.”

“When I go, Rob, you must do all you can to buck the mater up.” He had looked so splendid when he said that, with his keen, strong face, alert and vibrant, Robin had not had it in his heart to answer. And then had come lonely days, reading news books and occasionally talking with Lawson. When Giles went off to his training he spent more time with his mother, but they did not discuss the dreadful thing which had come into their lives. His mother became restlessly busy, making strange garments, knitting, attending violently to the demands of the household. Sometimes in the evening he would read to her, and they would sit trying to hide from each other the sound of the rain pattering on the leaves outside. He had not dared talk to her of the misgivings in his heart or of his arguments with Lawson....

“When I go, Rob, you have to do everything you can to support Mom.” He had looked so impressive when he said that, with his sharp, strong face, ready and full of energy, that Robin couldn't bring himself to respond. Then came the lonely days, filled with reading new books and occasionally chatting with Lawson. When Giles left for training, he spent more time with his mom, but they didn't talk about the terrible thing that had entered their lives. His mom became busily restless, making strange clothes, knitting, and obsessively attending to household demands. Sometimes in the evening, he would read to her, and they would sit trying to ignore the sound of the rain tapping on the leaves outside. He hadn’t dared to discuss the doubts in his heart or his arguments with Lawson...

And then a vision came of a certain day in October.[64] The wind was blowing the rain in fitful gusts from the sea. He was in a sullen, perverse mood. Watching his mother’s face that morning, a sudden fact concerning her had come home to him. It had aged, aged during those three months, and the gray hair on that distinguished head had turned almost white. He felt within him a surging conflict of opposing forces. The hour of climacteric had arrived. He must see it once and for all clearly and unalterably. He had put on his mackintosh then and gone out into the rain. He walked up to the long wall by Gray’s farm, where on a fine day he could see the sea; but not to-day, it was too wet and misty; but he could be conscious of it, and feel its breath beating on his temples.

And then a vision came of a certain day in October.[64] The wind was blowing the rain in sporadic gusts from the sea. He was in a gloomy, stubborn mood. Watching his mother’s face that morning, a sudden realization hit him. She had aged, aged during those three months, and the gray hair on that distinguished head had turned almost white. He felt a surge of conflicting emotions inside him. The moment of truth had come. He needed to see it clearly and permanently. He put on his raincoat and went out into the rain. He walked up to the long wall by Gray’s farm, where on a nice day he could see the sea; but not today, it was too wet and foggy; still, he could sense it and feel its breath against his temples.

He stood there, then, for several hours, under the protection of the wall, listening to the wind and to the gulls who went shrieking before it. He could not remember where he had wandered to after that, except that for some time he was leaning on a rock, watching the waves crashing over the point at Youlton Bay. And then in the evening he had written to Lawson.

He stayed there for several hours, sheltered by the wall, listening to the wind and the gulls screeching in front of it. He couldn’t recall where he had roamed afterward, only that for a while he was leaning on a rock, watching the waves crash over the point at Youlton Bay. Then, in the evening, he wrote to Lawson.

“I want to see this thing in its biggest, broadest sense, dear Jerry.”

"I want to see this thing in its biggest, broadest sense, dear Jerry."

He knew he had commenced the letter in this way, for it was a phrase he had repeated to himself at intervals.

He knew he had started the letter this way, because it was a phrase he had repeated to himself every so often.

“Like you, I hate war and the thought of war. But, good heaven! need I say that? Every one must hate war, I suppose. I agree with you that human life is sacred.... But would it be sacred if it stood still?—if[65] it were stagnant?—if it were just a mass affair? It is only sacred because it is an expression of spiritual evolution. It must change, go on, lead somewhere....

“Like you, I hate war and the idea of war. But, seriously! Do I really need to say that? Everyone must hate war, I guess. I agree with you that human life is precious... But would it still be precious if it stood still?—if it were stagnant?—if it were just a big, chaotic mess? It's only precious because it's a sign of spiritual growth. It has to change, move forward, lead to something...

“Don’t you think that we on this island have as great a right to fight for what we represent as any other nation? With all our faults and poses and hypocrisies, haven’t we subscribed something to the commonwealth of humanity?—something of honor, and justice, and equity? I don’t believe you will deny all this. But even if you did, and even if I agreed with you, I still should not be convinced that it was not right to fight. As I walked up by the chalk-pit near Gueldstone Head, and saw the stone-gray cottages at Lulton nestling in the hollow of the downs, and smelt the dear salt dampness of it all, and felt the lovely tenderness of the evening light, I thought of Giles and what he represents, and of my mother, and what she represents, and of all the people I know and love with all their faults, and I made up my mind that I would fight for it in any case, in the same way that I would fight for a woman I loved, even if I knew she were a harlot....”

“Don’t you think we on this island have just as much right to fight for what we stand for as any other nation? With all our flaws, pretenses, and hypocrisies, haven’t we contributed something to the common good of humanity?—something of honor, justice, and fairness? I don’t think you can deny that. But even if you did, and even if I agreed with you, I still wouldn’t be convinced that it was wrong to fight. As I walked by the chalk-pit near Gueldstone Head and saw the stone-gray cottages at Lulton nestled in the valley of the downs, and smelled that familiar salty dampness, and felt the gentle warmth of the evening light, I thought of Giles and what he represents, and my mother, and what she represents, and all the people I know and love with their imperfections, and I decided that I would fight for it no matter what, just like I would fight for a woman I loved, even if I knew she was a prostitute....”

Lying there in his bed, these ebullient thoughts reacted on him. Drowsiness stole over his limbs, and he felt his heart vibrating oddly. There seemed to be a sound of drums, beating a tattoo, of a train rumbling along an embankment. And in fancy he was on his way to London again, with the memory of his mother’s eyes as she had said:

Lying there in his bed, these lively thoughts had an effect on him. Drowsiness washed over his limbs, and he felt his heart beating strangely. It sounded like drums, keeping a rhythm, and a train rumbling along a track. In his mind, he was heading to London again, remembering his mother’s eyes as she had said:

“Come back safely, Robin boy.”

“Come back safe, Robin.”

The memory of that day was terrifying indeed. He[66] was wandering about a vast building near Whitehall, tremulously asking questions, wretchedly conscious that people looked at him and laughed. And then that long queue of waiting men! Some were so dirty, so obscene, and he felt that most of them were sniggering at him. A sergeant spoke sharply, and he shuddered and spilt some ink on one of the many forms he had to fill up. Every one seemed rough and violent. After many hours of waiting he was shown into another room and told to strip. He sat on a form with a row of other men, feeling incredibly naked and very much ashamed. The window was open and his teeth chattered with the cold and the nervous tension of the desperate experience. A doctor spoke kindly to him, and an old major at a table asked him one or two questions. He was dismissed and waited interminably in another room. At last an orderly entered and called his name among some others, and handed him a card. He was rejected.

The memory of that day was truly terrifying. He[66] was wandering through a huge building near Whitehall, nervously asking questions, painfully aware that people were looking at him and laughing. And then there was that long line of waiting men! Some were so dirty, so crude, and he felt that most of them were snickering at him. A sergeant spoke sharply, and he flinched, spilling some ink on one of the many forms he had to fill out. Everyone seemed rough and aggressive. After many hours of waiting, he was led into another room and told to take off his clothes. He sat on a bench with a row of other men, feeling incredibly exposed and very ashamed. The window was open, and his teeth chattered from the cold and the anxiety of the stressful experience. A doctor spoke kindly to him, and an old major at a table asked him a couple of questions. He was dismissed and waited endlessly in another room. Finally, an orderly came in and called his name along with some others, handing him a card. He was rejected.

He returned to Wodehurst that evening shivering and in a mood of melancholy dejection. He was an outcast among his fellows, a being with a great instinct towards expression, but without the power to back it up. The whole thing appeared so utterly unheroic, almost sordid. He wondered about Giles. If presenting oneself at a recruiting office was such a terrifying ordeal, what must the actual life of a soldier be? Of course Giles was different, but—the monotony, the cheerlessness of barrack life! And then the worse things beyond.

He came back to Wodehurst that evening shivering and feeling deeply down. He felt like an outsider among his peers, someone with a strong desire to express himself but lacking the ability to do so. Everything seemed so utterly unremarkable, almost sad. He thought about Giles. If just showing up at a recruiting office was such a frightening experience, what must the real life of a soldier be like? Sure, Giles was different, but—the dullness, the bleakness of barrack life! And then there were the even worse experiences beyond that.

After that he would devour the papers and tramp[67] feverishly on the downs; he tried to obtain work at a munition factory, and was refused; made himself ill sewing bandages and doing chaotic odd jobs. And all the time he thought of Giles, Giles, Giles. What Giles was doing, how Giles was looking, whether he was unhappy, and whether they spoke to him brusquely, like the sergeant had to himself in London.

After that, he would consume the papers and walk frantically across the hills; he tried to get a job at a munitions factory but was turned down; he made himself sick sewing bandages and doing random odd jobs. And all the while, he thought about Giles, Giles, Giles. What was Giles doing, how did Giles look, was he unhappy, and did they talk to him harshly, like the sergeant had to him in London?

Then came the vision of the day when Giles came and bade farewell, on his way to France—a terrible day. He could not bring himself to look into his mother’s eyes. He felt that if he did so he would be a trespasser peering into the forbidden sanctuary of a holy place. He hovered around her and murmured little banalities about Giles’s kit, the train he was to catch, the parcel he was to remember to pick up in London. When it came to parting time, he left those two alone and fled out to the trap that was to take his brother to the station. He had waited there till Giles came, running and laughing and waving his hand. He drove with him to the station, and dared not look back to see his mother standing by the window. They were silent till the trap had passed a mile beyond the village; then Giles had laughed, and talked, and rallied him on his gloomy face.

Then came the day when Giles said goodbye on his way to France—a terrible day. He couldn’t bring himself to look into his mother’s eyes. He felt that if he did, he would be intruding into a sacred space. He lingered around her and said small meaningless things about Giles’s suitcase, the train he was supposed to catch, and the package he needed to remember to pick up in London. When it was time to part, he left them alone and rushed outside to the carriage that was to take his brother to the station. He waited there until Giles arrived, running, laughing, and waving. He rode with him to the station and didn’t dare look back to see his mother standing by the window. They were quiet until the carriage had gone a mile beyond the village; then Giles laughed, talked, and teased him about his gloomy face.

“I’ll soon be back, old man. Buck the mater up, won’t you? Whoa, Tommy, what are you shying at?... By jove! won’t it be grand on the sea to-night!”

“I’ll be back soon, old man. Brace yourself, okay? Whoa, Tommy, what are you getting skittish about?... Wow! It’s going to be amazing on the sea tonight!”

Oh, Giles! Giles! was there ever any one so splendid, so radiant, so uncrushable? His heart went out to his brother at that moment, and he could not answer.

Oh, Giles! Giles! was there ever anyone so amazing, so bright, so unbreakable? His heart went out to his brother at that moment, and he couldn't respond.

[68]

[68]

So closely were his own sympathies interwoven with the feelings of his brother that he hardly noticed the moment of actual separation on the platform. His heart was with Giles all the way up to London, then in the train again, and upon the sea with him that night.

So closely were his own feelings connected with those of his brother that he barely registered the moment they actually parted on the platform. His heart was with Giles all the way to London, then on the train again, and out at sea with him that night.

In his imagination, quickened by a close study of all the literature he could get hold of on the actual conditions out there, he followed his brother through every phase of his new life. He was with him at the base, in rest camps, and in dug-outs, and more especially was he with him in those zig-zagging trenches smelling of dampness and decay. On dark nights he would hear the scuttle of rats dashing through the wet holes. He would hear the shriek of shells, and the tearing and ripping of the earth. He would start up and try to make his way through the slime of a battered trench which always seemed to be crumbling, crumbling. In his nostrils would hang the penetrating smell of gases that had the quality of imparting terror. So vivid were his impressions of these things that he could not detach his own suffering from that of his brother. There were times when he became convinced that either he or Giles was a chimera. One of them did not exist.... He seemed to stand for an eternity peering through a slit in a mud wall and gazing at another mud wall, and feeling the penetrating ooze of dying vegetation creeping into his body. Above his head would loom dark poles and barbarous entanglements. It was as though everything had vanished from the world but symbols of fear and cruelty, which rioted insanely against the[69] heavens, as though everything that man had ever learnt had been forgotten and destroyed; and he growled there in the wet earth, flaunting the feral passions of his remote ancestry. And the cold!—the cold was terrible.... He remembered a strange thing happening at that time. During some vague respite from the recurring horror of these imaginings, he had, he believed, been walking out through the meadows, when a numbness seemed to creep over his lower limbs. He could not get back. He had lain helpless in a field when George Carter, one of the farm hands, had found him and helped him home. He had been very ill then, and his mother had sent for Doctor Ewing. He could not remember exactly what the doctor said or what treatment he prescribed, or how long he had lain there in a semi-conscious state, but he vividly remembered hearing the doctor say one day: “It’s very curious, madam. I was, as you know, out at the Front for some time with the Red Cross, and this boy has a fever quite peculiar to the men at the Front. Has he been out standing in the wet mud?” He could not remember what his mother answered. He wanted to say: “No, no, it’s not I. It’s Giles,” but he had not the strength, and afterwards wondered whether it were an illusion.

In his imagination, fired up by a thorough reading of all the literature he could find about the actual conditions out there, he imagined following his brother through every stage of his new life. He was with him at the base, in rest camps, and in dugouts, and especially in those zigzagging trenches that smelled of dampness and decay. On dark nights, he would hear the scurry of rats rushing through the wet holes. He would hear the scream of shells and the tearing and ripping of the earth. He would jolt awake and try to navigate through the sludge of a worn-down trench that always seemed to be falling apart. The penetrating smell of gases that instilled terror hung in his nostrils. His impressions were so vivid that he couldn’t separate his own suffering from that of his brother. There were moments when he became convinced that either he or Giles was an illusion. One of them didn’t exist... He seemed to stare through a gap in a mud wall for an eternity, looking at another mud wall while feeling the thick ooze of dying vegetation seeping into his body. Dark poles and twisted barbed wire loomed above him. It felt like everything in the world had vanished except for symbols of fear and cruelty, which raged wildly against the[69] heavens, as if all that humanity had ever learned had been forgotten and destroyed; he growled there in the wet earth, showcasing the primal instincts of his distant ancestors. And the cold!—the cold was unbearable... He remembered something strange happening at that time. During some uncertain break from the recurring horror of these thoughts, he believed he had been walking through the meadows when a numbness started creeping over his legs. He couldn’t get back. He lay helpless in a field until George Carter, one of the farmhands, found him and helped him home. He had been very ill then, and his mother had called for Doctor Ewing. He couldn't remember exactly what the doctor said or what treatment he prescribed, or how long he lay there in a semi-conscious state, but he vividly remembered hearing the doctor say one day: “It’s very curious, madam. I was, as you know, at the Front for some time with the Red Cross, and this boy has a fever quite common among the men at the Front. Has he been out standing in the wet mud?” He couldn’t recall what his mother answered. He wanted to say: “No, no, it’s not me. It’s Giles,” but he didn’t have the strength, and later wondered if it was just an illusion.

He knew that many weeks went by, and still they would not let him walk. That was his greatest trouble, for walking helped him. When he could walk, he could sometimes live in a happier world of make-believe, but in bed the epic tragedy unfolded itself in every livid detail, intensely real.

He knew that many weeks passed, and still they wouldn’t let him walk. That was his biggest issue because walking helped him. When he could walk, he could sometimes escape into a happier world of imagination, but in bed, the epic tragedy played out in every vivid detail, painfully real.

[70]

[70]

Long periods of time went by, and still he was not allowed to leave his room. His mother would come and sit with him and read him Giles’s letters. They were wonderful letters, full of amusing stories of “rags” and tales of splendid feeds obtained under difficult circumstances. Of the conditions that existed so vividly in Robin’s mind there was not one word. To read Giles’s letters one would imagine that he was away on a holiday with a party of young undergraduates, having the time of their lives. But the letters had no reality to him. He knew. He had seen it all.

A long time passed, and he still wasn’t allowed to leave his room. His mother would come in and sit with him, reading Giles’s letters. They were great letters, filled with funny stories about “rags” and tales of amazing meals gotten under tough circumstances. There wasn’t a single word about the conditions that were so vividly in Robin’s mind. Reading Giles’s letters, one would think he was on vacation with a group of young college students, having the time of their lives. But the letters felt unreal to him. He knew. He had seen it all.

Time became an unrecognizable factor. Faces came and went. His mother was always there, and there appeared another kind face whom he believed to be a nurse; and sometimes Jerry Lawson would come and sit by the bed, and talk to him about the beauties of the quattrocento and other things he had forgotten, things which belonged to a dead world....

Time became unrecognizable. Faces came and went. His mother was always there, and there was another kind face that he thought was a nurse; sometimes Jerry Lawson would come and sit by the bed, talking to him about the beauties of the quattrocento and other things he had forgotten, things that belonged to a dead world....

Lying there in bed, he could not detach these impressions very clearly, nor determine how long ago they had taken place. There appeared to be an unaccountable shifting of the folds of darkness, a slipping away of vital purposes, and a necessity for focusing upon some immediate development. This necessity seemed, somehow, emphasized by the overpowering pain that had begun to rack his limbs, more especially his right foot. He wanted to call out, but some voice told him that it would be useless. The night was too impenetrable and heavy, his voice would only die away against its inky pall. There was besides a certain soothing tenderness[71] about it, as though it were caressing him and telling him that he must wait in patience, and all would be well. He knew now that he was sleeping in the open, and that would account for the chilling coldness. At the same time it was not exactly the open. There were walls about and jagged profiles, but apparently no roof or distances. The ground was hard like concrete. He must be infinitely patient and pray for the dawn.... He began to feel the dawn before he saw it. It came like the caressing sigh of a woman as she wakes and thinks of her lover in some foreign clime. Somewhere at hand a bird was twittering, aware too of the coming miracle. Almost imperceptibly things began to form themselves. He was certainly behind a wall, but there was a door, with the upper part leaning in. A phrase occurred to his mind: “The white arm of dawn is creeping over the door.” A lovely passage! He had read it in some Irish book. The angle at the top of the door was like a bent elbow. It was very, very like the white arm—of some Irish queen, perhaps, or of the Mother of men—a white arm creeping over the door, and in its whiteness delicately touching the eyelids of the sleeping inmates, whilst a voice in a soft cadence whispered: “Awake! pull back the door, and let me show you the silver splendors of the unborn day.”

Lying in bed, he couldn’t clearly separate these feelings or figure out when they had happened. There seemed to be an inexplicable shifting of the shadows, a fading of important goals, and a need to focus on something immediate. This need felt amplified by the relentless pain that was starting to throb in his limbs, especially in his right foot. He wanted to shout out, but some inner voice told him it would be pointless. The night was too dense and heavy; his voice would just fade into its dark blanket. There was, however, a certain comforting tenderness about it, as if it were hugging him and telling him to be patient, that everything would be okay. He realized he was sleeping outside, which explained the biting cold. Yet, it wasn’t completely open; there were walls and jagged shapes around him, but apparently no roof or far distances. The ground felt hard like concrete. He needed to be incredibly patient and hope for dawn…. He started to sense the dawn before he could actually see it. It came like the gentle breath of a woman waking up and thinking of her lover in some distant land. Somewhere nearby, a bird was chirping, aware of the approaching miracle. Slowly, things began to take shape. He was definitely behind a wall, but there was a door, with the top part leaning inward. A phrase popped into his mind: “The white arm of dawn is creeping over the door.” What a beautiful line! He had read it in some Irish book. The angle at the top of the door resembled a bent elbow. It was very much like the white arm—maybe of some Irish queen, or the Mother of mankind—this white arm creeping over the door, delicately touching the eyelids of the sleeping people inside, while a voice in a soft tone whispered: “Awake! Pull back the door, and let me show you the silver splendors of the unborn day.”

A heavy dew was falling, and the cold seemed bitter, whilst all around he became aware of the slow unfolding of desolation; except for the leaning door, nothing seemed to take a recognizable shape, everything was jagged and violent in its form and exuded the cloying[72] odors of death. Somewhere faintly he thought he heard the sound of a cornet, bizarre and fantastic, and having no connection with the utter stillness of this place of sorrow.

A thick dew was falling, and the cold felt harsh, while all around him he noticed the gradual emergence of desolation; apart from the leaning door, nothing seemed to have a clear shape, everything was jagged and rough in appearance and gave off the sickly[72] smells of death. Somewhere in the distance, he thought he heard the sound of a cornet, strange and surreal, completely disconnected from the profound silence of this place of grief.

His eye searched the broken darkness in fugitive pursuit of a solution of the formless void. Quite near him, apparently, was an oblong board which amidst this wilderness of destruction seemed to have escaped untouched. As the dim violet light began to reveal certain definite concrete things, he became aware that on the board were some Roman letters. He looked at them for some time unseeingly. The word written there stamped itself without meaning on his brain. The word was: “FILLES.” He repeated it to himself over and over again. The earth seemed to rock again with a sullen, vibrating passion, as though irritated that the work of destruction was not entirely complete. Things already destroyed seemed to be subjected to further transmutation of formlessness. But still the board remained intact, and he fixed his eyes on it. It imbued him with a strange sense of tranquillity. Filles! A little word, but it became to him a link to cosmic things. The desire to reason passed, as the ability to suffer passed. Across the mists of time he seemed to hear the laughter of children. He could almost see them pass. There were Jeannette and Marie, with long black pigtails and check frocks, and just behind them, struggling with a heavy satchel, little fair-haired Babette. How they laughed, those children! and yet he could not determine whether their laughter came from[73] the years that had passed or from the years that were to come. But wherever the laughter came from, it seemed the only thing the powers of darkness could not destroy. He lay then for a long time, conscious of a peace greater than any he could have conceived. And the white arm of dawn crept over the door.

His eyes scanned the broken darkness, desperately searching for a way out of the shapeless void. Right next to him, it seemed, was a rectangular board that, amidst all the destruction, appeared to have remained untouched. As the dim violet light began to reveal some concrete details, he noticed that there were Roman letters on the board. He stared at them for a while, not really seeing. The word written there lodged itself in his mind without meaning. The word was: “FILLES.” He repeated it to himself again and again. The ground seemed to rock slowly, vibrating with a heavy passion, as if annoyed that the destruction wasn’t completely finished. Things that were already ruined seemed to undergo an additional transformation into shapelessness. But the board remained whole, and he focused his attention on it. It filled him with an odd sense of calm. Filles! A small word, yet it became a connection to something cosmic. The urge to analyze faded, just as the ability to suffer did. Through the fog of time, he thought he could hear the laughter of children. He could almost see them pass by—Jeannette and Marie, with long black pigtails and checkered dresses, and just behind them, struggling with a heavy backpack, little fair-haired Babette. How they laughed, those kids! Yet he couldn’t tell if their laughter came from the years that had gone by or the years that were yet to come. But no matter where the laughter originated, it felt like the only thing the powers of darkness couldn’t destroy. He lay there for a long time, feeling a peace greater than he could have imagined. And the white light of dawn crept over the doorway.

The crowd who habitually came down by the afternoon train trickled out of the station and vanished. The master of Wodehurst came limping through the doorway. His face was bronzed and perhaps a little thinner, but his eyes laughed, and his voice rang out to the steward waiting in the dog-cart:

The crowd that usually arrived on the afternoon train streamed out of the station and disappeared. The master of Wodehurst came limping through the doorway. His face was tanned and maybe a bit thinner, but his eyes were cheerful, and he called out to the steward waiting in the dog cart:

“Hullo! Sam, how are you?”

“Hey! Sam, how are you?”

He was leaning on two sticks, and a porter followed with his trunks.

He was leaning on two canes, and a porter followed with his bags.

“Can I help you up, sir?”

“Can I help you get up, sir?”

“No, it’s all right, old man; I can manage.”

“No, it’s cool, man; I can handle it.”

He pulled himself up and laughed because he hit his knee upon the mudguard.

He lifted himself up and laughed because he hit his knee on the mudguard.

“It’s good to be home, Sam.”

“It’s nice to be home, Sam.”

“Yes; I expect your mother will be glad, sir,” answered Geddes, touching up the horse. “And so will we all, I’m thinking.”

“Yes; I assume your mom will be happy, sir,” replied Geddes, encouraging the horse. “And I think we will all be too.”

They clattered down the road, and the high spirits of the wounded warrior rose. He asked a thousand questions, and insisted on taking the reins before they had gone far. It was dusk when they began to draw near Wodehurst; a sudden silence had fallen on Giles. The steward realized the reason. He coughed uncomfortably.[74] They were passing within a hundred yards of Wodehurst Church. Suddenly he said in his deep burr:

They rattled down the road, and the excitement of the injured soldier grew. He fired off a million questions and insisted on grabbing the reins before they'd gone far. It was getting dark when they started getting close to Wodehurst; a quick silence had come over Giles. The steward understood why. He coughed awkwardly.[74] They were passing within a hundred yards of Wodehurst Church. Suddenly he said in his deep voice:

“We were all very sorry, sir, about Master Robin.”

“We were all really sorry, sir, about Master Robin.”

The eyes of the soldier softened; he murmured:

The soldier's eyes softened; he whispered:

“Poor old chap!”

“Poor guy!”

“I feel I ought to tell you, sir. It was a very queer thing. But one day that young Mr. Lawson—you know, the sculptor—about a week after it all happened, he must have got up at daybreak, I should say—nobody saw him do it. He must have gone down there to the churchyard with his tools, and what do you think? He carved something on the stone—on Mr. Robin’s stone.”

“I feel like I should tell you, sir. It was a really strange thing. But one day that young Mr. Lawson—you know, the sculptor—about a week after it all happened, he must have gotten up at dawn, I would say—nobody saw him do it. He must have gone down to the churchyard with his tools, and guess what? He carved something on the stone—on Mr. Robin’s stone.”

Giles said quickly: “Carved! What?”

Giles said quickly: “Carved! What’s that?”

“He carved just under the name and date, ‘He died for England.’”

“He carved just below the name and date, ‘He died for England.’”

“‘He died for England!’ He carved that on Robin’s grave? What did he mean?”

“‘He died for England!’ He put that on Robin’s grave? What does it mean?”

“I don’t know, sir.”

“I’m not sure, sir.”

“Really! What a rum chap he must be!”

“Seriously! What a strange guy he must be!”

“We didn’t know what to do about it, sir. I saw it, and I didn’t like to tell your mother, and nobody likes to interfere with a tombstone, it seems profane-like. So there it is to this day.”

“We didn’t know what to do about it, sir. I saw it, and I didn’t want to tell your mother, and no one likes to mess with a tombstone; it feels disrespectful. So it’s been that way to this day.”

“Thank you, Sam. I’ll think about it.”

“Thanks, Sam. I’ll think about it.”

“Have you had much pain with your foot, sir?”

“Have you been in a lot of pain with your foot, sir?”

Giles laughed, and flicked the horse.

Giles laughed and tapped the horse.

“Oh, nothing to write home about, Sam. I had a touch of fever, you know. I didn’t tell the mater. It[75] was later on that I got this smash of my right foot. It happened at—I’ve forgotten the name; some damned little village on the Flemish border. I was lucky in a way, the shrapnel missed me. It was falling stonework that biffed up my foot. There was a building, a sort of school, I should think. It got blown to smithereens. It was rather a nasty mess-up. I was there for seven hours before they found me—Hullo! I see the mater standing at the gate.”

“Oh, nothing to write home about, Sam. I had a bit of a fever, you know. I didn’t tell Mom. It[75] was later that I injured my right foot. It happened at—I can’t remember the name; some little village on the Flemish border. I was lucky in a way, the shrapnel missed me. It was falling debris that hurt my foot. There was a building, a kind of school, I think. It got completely destroyed. It was quite a mess. I was there for seven hours before they found me—Hey! I see Mom standing at the gate.”

The horse nearly bolted with the violence of Giles’s waving arms....

The horse almost took off because of how wildly Giles was waving his arms...

The dinner—all the dishes that Giles specially loved—was finished. With his arm round his mother’s waist and a cigar in the corner of his mouth, he led her into the warm comfort of the white-paneled drawing-room.

The dinner—all the dishes that Giles really loved—was done. With his arm around his mother’s waist and a cigar in the corner of his mouth, he guided her into the cozy warmth of the white-paneled living room.

“You won’t mind my smoking in here to-night, mater?”

“You don’t mind if I smoke in here tonight, mom?”

“My dear boy!”

“My dear son!”

They sat in silence, watching the red glow of the log fire. Suddenly Giles said:

They sat quietly, watching the red glow of the log fire. Suddenly, Giles said:

“I say, mater, do you know an awfully rum thing Geddes told me?”

“I say, Mom, do you know an incredibly weird thing Geddes told me?”

His mother looked up.

His mom looked up.

“I think perhaps I know. Do you mean in the—cemetery?”

“I think I might know. Are you talking about the—cemetery?”

Giles nodded, puffing at his cigar in little nervous inhalations.

Giles nodded, taking small, nervous puffs from his cigar.

“Yes. I knew. I saw it, of course. I’ve sat and wondered.”

"Yeah. I knew. I saw it, obviously. I've sat and thought about it."

[76]

[76]

“Such a rum thing to do! What do you think we ought to do about it, mater?”

“Such a strange thing to do! What do you think we should do about it, mom?”

He saw his mother lean forward; the waves of silver hair seemed to enshrine the beautiful lines of her drawn face; her voice came whispering:

He saw his mother lean forward; the waves of silver hair seemed to frame the beautiful contours of her tired face; her voice came softly:

“Hadn’t we better leave it, Giles?... Perhaps he really did die for England?”

“Shouldn't we just leave it, Giles?... Maybe he really did die for England?”

The young man glanced at her quickly. He saw her aged and broken by the war. He thought of his brother.... Then he caught sight of his own face in the mirror, lean, youthful, vigorous. The old tag flashed through his mind:

The young man looked at her for a moment. He noticed how worn down and damaged she was from the war. He thought about his brother.... Then he saw his own reflection in the mirror, lean, youthful, full of energy. The old saying popped into his head:

“They also serve who only stand and wait.”

He thrust away that emotional expression, and in the manner of his kind stayed silent, rigid, with his back to the fire. And suddenly he said:

He pushed aside that emotional expression and, like he usually did, stayed quiet, tense, with his back to the fire. Then, out of nowhere, he said:

“I say, mater, won’t you play me something? Chopin, or one of those Russian Johnnies you play so rippingly?”

“I’m asking you, Mom, will you play me something? Chopin, or one of those Russian composers you play so amazingly?”


[77]

[77]

“OLD IRON”

[78]

[78]


[79]

[79]

“OLD IRON”

You know how the story goes, of course. Husband and wife just about to retire to bed. Wife yawns, husband knocks out his pipe on the grate and remarks:

You know how the story goes, of course. Husband and wife are just about to head to bed. The wife yawns, and the husband knocks out his pipe on the grate and says:

“Well, better turn in, I suppose.”

“Well, I guess it's time to turn in, huh?”

Wife replies:

Wife responds:

“Yes”; then adds languidly:

“Yeah”; then adds lazily:

“I meant to call round to ask the Cartwrights to dinner on Thursday.”

“I meant to stop by to invite the Cartwrights to dinner on Thursday.”

Husband, after prolonged pause:

Husband, after a long pause:

“I’ll pop round and ask them now, if you like. They never go to bed till very late.”

"I'll swing by and ask them now, if you'd like. They never go to bed until really late."

“I wish you would, dear.”

"Please do, dear."

Husband pulls on a cloth cap and goes out. Wife yawns again, and picks up The Ladies’ Boudoir, and idly examines charmeuse gown, and notes the prices of gloves at Foxtrot’s & Fieldfern’s. Yawns again more audibly. Collects sewing and places it in work-basket. Takes the kitten out and locks it up in the scullery. Yawns, and walks languidly upstairs. Turns on the light and spends fifteen minutes examining face at various angles in the glass. Begins to disrobe. Thinks sleepily: “Tom’s a long time.” Brushes out her hair and admires it considerably. Conceives a new way of dressing it for future festivities. Disrobes farther.[80] Yawns. Disrobes completely and re-robes—dressing-gown.

Husband puts on a cap and steps outside. Wife yawns again, picks up The Ladies’ Boudoir, and casually looks at a charmeuse gown, noting the prices of gloves at Foxtrot’s & Fieldfern’s. Yawns more loudly. Gathers her sewing and puts it in the work-basket. Takes the kitten out and locks it in the laundry room. Yawns, then slowly walks upstairs. Turns on the light and spends fifteen minutes looking at her face from different angles in the mirror. Starts to undress. Thinks sleepily, “Tom’s taking a long time.” Brushes her hair and admires it a lot. Comes up with a new way to style it for upcoming events. Undresses further.[80] Yawns. Undresses completely and puts on a dressing gown.

“It’s too bad being all this time!”

“It’s such a shame to have spent all this time!”

Vitality slightly stirred in the direction of resentment and a kind of mild apprehension. Lies on the bed and drowsily reviews the experiences of the day. Dreams.... Suddenly starts with a consciousness of cold. Gropes for her wrist-watch. A quarter past one! Jumps from the bed, feeling the cold hand of fear on her heart. Runs downstairs and stares helplessly out of the front door. Pauses to consider a thousand possible eventualities. Returns to bedroom and completely re-robes, not forgetting to do her hair neatly and powder her nose. Puts on cloak and goes out. Cartwrights’ house all in darkness. Bangs on the front door and rings bell. Head of old Mr. Cartwright at first-floor window:

Vitality stirred slightly towards resentment and a bit of unease. She lies on the bed, half-asleep, reflecting on her day. Dreams.... Suddenly jolted by the chill. She fumbles for her wristwatch. A quarter past one! She jumps up from the bed, feeling a cold wave of fear grip her heart. She rushes downstairs and looks out the front door, feeling helpless. She pauses to think about a thousand possible scenarios. She goes back to her bedroom and completely changes her clothes, making sure to fix her hair and powder her nose. She puts on her cloak and steps outside. The Cartwrights' house is completely dark. She pounds on the front door and rings the bell. The head of old Mr. Cartwright appears at the first-floor window:

“Who the devil’s that?”

“Who the heck is that?”

“It’s me. Where’s Tom?”

“It’s me. Where’s Tom at?”

“Tom! Haven’t seen him for weeks!”

“Tom! I haven't seen him in weeks!”

“Good God! Let me in.”

“OMG! Let me in.”

Cartwright family aroused. Panic. Fainting scene in drawing-room. Brandy, smelling-salts and eau-de-cologne. Young George Cartwright mounts his bicycle—rides to the police-station; on the way talks to policeman on point duty. No, no one heard anything of a thin man with a snuff-colored mustache. At police-station, no accidents so far reported. Chief inspector will make a note and await developments. Night passes, and the following day. No news.

Cartwright family woke up. Panic. Fainting scene in the living room. Brandy, smelling salts, and cologne. Young George Cartwright hops on his bike—rides to the police station; on the way, he talks to a policeman managing traffic. No, no one saw anything about a thin man with a brown mustache. At the police station, no accidents have been reported so far. The chief inspector will take a note and wait for updates. Night passes, and the next day comes. No news.

[81]

[81]

Weeks, months, years elapse. Eight years slide easily by. The wife survives her grief. She marries the local organist, a blond and commendable young man. They continue to live in the wife’s house. Children gather round her knee. One, two, three, twins, an interval, six, seven handsome blond children. They grow up.

Weeks, months, years pass. Eight years go by quickly. The wife moves on from her grief. She marries the local organist, a respectable young man with blonde hair. They continue to live in her house. Children crowd around her. One, two, three, twins, a gap, six, seven attractive blonde kids. They grow up.

Twenty-two years elapse. They are sitting at tea. The father, the mother and the oldest son, a handsome young man in a gray flannel suit. He kisses his mother and says:

Twenty-two years pass. They are sitting at tea. The father, the mother, and the oldest son, a good-looking young man in a gray flannel suit. He kisses his mother and says:

“I must go now, mother dear. I have to take a Bible-class.”

"I have to go now, Mom. I need to attend a Bible class."

He goes out (presumably to the Bible-class). The mother smiles with pride, the father glows with benignity and helps himself to another buttered muffin. Everything perfect. Suddenly the door opens, and an old man in a long gray beard and perambulating manner wanders into the room. He stares at the wife, and mumbles:

He goes out (presumably to the Bible class). The mother beams with pride, the father radiates kindness and grabs another buttered muffin. Everything seems perfect. Suddenly, the door swings open, and an old man with a long gray beard and a shuffling gait stumbles into the room. He glares at the wife and mutters:

“Did you say Thursday or Friday?... My memory is not what it was....”

“Did you say Thursday or Friday?... My memory isn’t what it used to be....”

And the wife stares at the old man, and then at the blond organist. And the blond organist stares at the mother of his beautiful children, and then at the bearded interloper. And they all stare at each other and feel very embarrassed.

And the wife looks at the old man, then at the blond organist. The blond organist looks at the mother of his beautiful children, then at the bearded stranger. They all look at each other and feel really awkward.

The story is familiar to you? Well, perhaps so. It is the story of the eternal triangle, the most useful[82] pattern of geometrical forms in the construction of a romantic pattern.

The story sound familiar to you? Well, maybe it is. It's the tale of the love triangle, the most useful[82] pattern of shapes in creating a romantic storyline.

Heigho! the trouble with human triangles is that they are never equilateral. Two sides together are invariably greater than the third side.

Ugh! The problem with love triangles is that they’re never balanced. The sum of two sides is always greater than the third side.

Jim Canning was the third side of a triangle, and he got flattened out. In fact, his wife used to flatten him out on every possible occasion. She was bigger than he, and she was aided by the tertium quid, Ted Woollams, who was nothing more or less than a professional pugilist. What was Jim to do? In every well-conducted epic the hero performs physical feats which leave you breathless. He is always tall and strong, and a bit too quick with the rapier for any villain who crosses his path. But what about a hero who is small and elderly, of poor physique, short-sighted, asthmatical, with corns which impede his gait? You may say that he has no place in the heroic arena. He should clear out, go and get on with his job, and leave heroism to people who know how to manage the stuff. And yet there was something heroic in the heart of Jim Canning: a quick sympathy, and an instinct for self-sacrifice.

Jim Canning was the third point in a triangle, and he got pushed aside. In fact, his wife used to push him aside at every opportunity. She was bigger than he was, and she had help from the tertium quid, Ted Woollams, who was nothing less than a professional boxer. What was Jim supposed to do? In every well-written epic, the hero does incredible physical feats that leave you amazed. He’s always tall and strong, and a bit too quick with a sword for any villain that crosses his path. But what about a hero who is short and elderly, with a poor physique, bad eyesight, asthma, and corns that slow him down? You might say he doesn't belong in the heroic spotlight. He should step aside, get on with his life, and leave heroism to those who know how to handle it. And yet there was something heroic in Jim Canning's heart: a quick sympathy and a natural instinct for self-sacrifice.

He used to keep a second-hand furniture shop, which, you must understand, is a very different thing from an antique shop. Jim’s furniture had no determinate character such as that which is associated with the name of Chippendale, Sheraton or Heppelwhite. It was just “furniture.” Well-worn sofas, broken chairs and tables, mattresses with the stuffing exuding from holes, rusty[83] brass beds with the knobs missing, broken pots and mirrors and dumb-bells; even clothes, and screws, false teeth and bird-cages, and ancient umbrellas. But his specialty was old iron. Trays and trays and baskets filled with scraps of old iron.

He used to run a second-hand furniture shop, which, just to clarify, is really different from an antique shop. Jim’s furniture didn't have any specific style like Chippendale, Sheraton, or Heppelwhite. It was just “furniture.” Worn-out sofas, broken chairs and tables, mattresses with stuffing poking out of holes, rusty[83] brass beds missing knobs, damaged pots and mirrors, dumbbells; even clothes, screws, dentures, birdcages, and old umbrellas. But his main focus was old iron. Trays and trays and baskets full of pieces of old iron.

His establishment used to be known in Camden Town at that time as “The Muck Shop.” At odd times of the day you might observe his small pathetic figure trundling a barrow laden with the spoils of some hard-pressed inhabitant. What a tale the little shop seemed to tell! Struggle and poverty, homes broken up, drink, ugly passions, desperate sacrifices—a battered array of the symbols of distress. And, somehow, in his person these stories seemed to be embodied. One felt that he was sorry for the people whose property he bought. He was always known as a fair dealer. He paid a fair price and never took advantage of ignorance.

His shop used to be called "The Muck Shop" in Camden Town. At random times throughout the day, you could see his small, pitiful figure pushing a cart filled with the cast-offs of some struggling local. The little shop seemed to tell a story all its own—struggle and poverty, broken homes, alcohol, ugly desires, desperate sacrifices—a worn collection of signs of hardship. And somehow, it felt like he embodied those stories. You could tell he felt for the people whose belongings he bought. He was always recognized as a fair dealer. He paid a fair price and never exploited anyone's lack of knowledge.

His marriage was a failure from the very first. She was a big, strapping woman, the daughter of a local greengrocer. Twelve years younger than Jim, vain, frivolous, empty-headed and quarrelsome. Her reasons for marrying him were obscure. Probably she had arrived at the time when she wanted to marry, and Jim was regarded as a successful shop-keeper who could keep her in luxury. He was blinded by her physical attractions, and tried his utmost to believe that his wife was everything to be desired. Disillusionment came within the first month of their married life, at the moment, indeed, when Clara realized that her husband’s business was not so thriving as she had been led to[84] believe. She immediately accused him of deceiving her. Then, she began to sulk and neglect him. She despised his manner of conducting business—his conscientiousness and sense of fair-dealing.

His marriage was a failure from the start. She was a tall, strong woman, the daughter of a local greengrocer. Twelve years younger than Jim, vain, superficial, empty-headed, and argumentative. Her reasons for marrying him were unclear. It was probably just the time in her life when she wanted to get married, and Jim was seen as a successful shopkeeper who could provide her with a comfortable life. He was blinded by her physical appeal and tried hard to convince himself that his wife was everything he wanted. Disillusionment hit within the first month of their marriage, specifically when Clara realized that her husband's business wasn't as successful as she'd been led to believe. She immediately accused him of lying to her. Then, she started sulking and ignoring him. She looked down on his way of running the business—his conscientiousness and sense of fairness.

“If you’d put some ginger into it,” she once remarked, “and not always be thinking about the feelings of the tripe you buy from, we might have a house in the Camden Road and a couple of servants.”

“If you’d added some spice to it,” she once said, “and stopped always worrying about the feelings of the meat you buy from, we could have a house on Camden Road and a couple of servants.”

This had never been Jim’s ambition. Many years ago he had attended a sale at Shorwell Green, on the borders of Sussex, a glorious spot near the downs, amidst lime-trees and little running streams. It had been the dream of his life that one day he would retire there, with the woman he loved—and her children. When he put the matter to Clara, she laughed him to scorn.

This had never been Jim's dream. Many years ago, he went to a sale at Shorwell Green, on the outskirts of Sussex, a beautiful place near the hills, surrounded by lime trees and small streams. It had always been his dream to one day retire there with the woman he loved—and her kids. When he brought it up with Clara, she laughed at him.

“Not half!” she said. “Catch me living among butterflies and blinking cows. The Camden Road is my game.”

“Not a chance!” she said. “Catch me living among butterflies and blinking cows. The Camden Road is my scene.”

Jim sighed, and went on trundling his barrow. Well, there it was! If the woman he had married desired it, he must do what she wanted. In any case it was necessary to begin to save. But with Clara he found it exceedingly difficult to begin to save. She idled her day away, bought trinkets, neglected her domestic offices, went to the pictures, and sucked sweets. Any attempt to point out to her the folly of her ways only led to bitter recriminations, tears and savage displays of temper, even physical violence to her husband.

Jim sighed and continued pushing his cart. Well, there it was! If the woman he married wanted something, he had to do what she wanted. In any case, it was essential to start saving. But with Clara, he found it really hard to save. She wasted her days, bought jewelry, ignored her household duties, went to the movies, and munched on candies. Any attempt to explain to her how foolish her actions were just resulted in angry arguments, tears, and outbursts of rage, even physical violence directed at her husband.

Then there came a day when Jim fondly believed[85] that the conditions of their married life would be ameliorated. A child was born, a girl, and they called her Annie. Annie became the apple of his eye. He would hurry back from the shop to attend at Annie’s bath. He would creep in at night and kiss the warm skin of her little skull. He would think of her as he pottered around amidst his broken chairs and tables, and utter little croons of anticipatory pleasure. Annie! She would grow up and be the mainstay of his life. He would work and struggle for her. Her life should be a path of roses and happiness. His wife, too, appeared to improve upon the advent of Annie. For a time the baby absorbed her. She displayed a kind of wild animal joy in its existence. She nursed it and fondled it, and did not seem to resent the curtailment of her pleasures. It was an additional mouth to feed; nevertheless their expenses did not seem to greatly increase, owing probably to Clara’s modified way of living.

Then came a day when Jim genuinely believed[85] that the situation in their married life would get better. A child was born, a girl, and they named her Annie. Annie quickly became the center of his world. He would rush back from the shop to help with Annie’s bath. He would sneak in at night and kiss her warm little head. He would think about her as he tinkered with his broken chairs and tables, letting out small sounds of happy anticipation. Annie! She would grow up and be the cornerstone of his life. He would work hard for her and strive for her happiness. Her life would be filled with joy and ease. His wife also seemed to improve with Annie’s arrival. For a while, the baby completely captivated her. She showed a wild, joyful delight in having the baby around. She nursed her and cuddled her, and didn’t seem to mind giving up some of her own pleasures. Although there was another mouth to feed, their expenses didn’t seem to rise significantly, likely due to Clara’s simpler way of living.

Four years of comparative happiness followed. Jim began to save. Oh! very slowly; very, very slowly. He still had less than three hundred pounds put on one side for—that vague future of settled security. But still it was a solid beginning. In another ten or fifteen years he would still be—well, not quite an old man; an active man, he hoped. If he could save only one hundred pounds a year!

Four years of somewhat happier times followed. Jim started to save. Oh! very slowly; very, very slowly. He still had less than three hundred pounds set aside for that uncertain future of stability. But it was still a solid start. In another ten or fifteen years, he would still be—well, not quite old; an active man, he hoped. If he could save just one hundred pounds a year!

It was at this point that Ted Woollams appeared on the scene. He was the son of a manager of a Swimming Bath. On Sundays he used to box in “Fairyland” for purses of various amounts—he was a redoubtable[86] middle-weight. During the week he swaggered about Camden Town in new check suits, his fingers glittering with rings. He met Clara one evening at a public dance. The mutual attraction appears to have been instantaneous. They danced together the whole evening, and he saw her home.

It was at this point that Ted Woollams showed up. He was the son of a swimming pool manager. On Sundays, he used to box at “Fairyland” for various prize amounts—he was a formidable[86] middleweight. During the week, he strutted around Camden Town in new checked suits, his fingers sparkling with rings. One evening, he met Clara at a public dance. The attraction between them seemed to happen immediately. They danced together all night, and he walked her home.

And then began the squeezing out of the third side of the triangle. Jim was not strong enough for them. At first he professed to see nothing in the friendship. He described Ted as “a jolly young fellow, a great pal of my wife’s.” And Ted treated him with a certain amount of respect. He called in at odd times, stayed to meals, drank Jim’s beer, and smoked Jim’s tobacco. The triangle was quite intact. It was Annie who caused the first disruption. She disliked the prize-fighter, and screamed at the sight of him. This led to reprisals when he had gone, and Jim’s championship of the child did not help to cement the always doubtful nature of the affection between husband and wife. There were cross words and tears, and once she pushed him over a chair, and, in the fall, cut his temple.

And then the pressure began to come from the third side of the triangle. Jim wasn't strong enough to handle it. At first, he claimed to see nothing wrong with the friendship. He described Ted as "a fun guy and a good friend of my wife’s." Ted treated him with a certain level of respect, dropping by randomly, staying for meals, drinking Jim's beer, and smoking his tobacco. The triangle remained pretty stable. It was Annie who created the first disruption. She couldn't stand the prize-fighter and screamed when she saw him. This caused tensions after he left, and Jim's defense of their child didn't help the already shaky bond between him and Annie. There were harsh words and tears, and once she shoved him over a chair, causing him to fall and cut his temple.

A few days later, Ted Woollams called in a great state of agitation. He wished to see Jim alone. It appeared that a wonderful opportunity had occurred to him. It was a complicated story about a quantity of bonded brandy which he had a chance of acquiring and selling at an enormous profit. He wanted to borrow fifty pounds till Saturday week, when he would pay Jim back sixty. Jim said he would lend him the fifty, but he didn’t want any interest.

A few days later, Ted Woollams called, clearly upset. He wanted to meet Jim alone. It seemed he had a fantastic opportunity. It was a complicated story about a large quantity of bonded brandy he could buy and sell for a huge profit. He wanted to borrow fifty pounds until the Saturday after next, promising to pay Jim back sixty. Jim said he would lend him the fifty, but he didn't want any interest.

[87]

[87]

When Saturday week came, Ted said the deal had fallen through, but he would let him have the money back the following Saturday. In the meantime he came to supper nearly every night. Sometimes he drank too much beer.

When the Saturday after next arrived, Ted said the deal had fallen apart, but he would return the money the following Saturday. In the meantime, he came over for dinner almost every night. Sometimes, he drank too much beer.

Then Clara began to dress for the part. She bought expensive frocks, and had the account sent in to Jim. She neglected the child.

Then Clara started getting ready for the role. She bought fancy dresses and had the bill sent to Jim. She ignored the child.

The months drifted by, and Ted was always going to pay, but he became more and more part and parcel of the household. Jim’s savings began to dwindle. He protested to both his wife and Ted, but they treated him with indifference. The boxer began to abuse his familiarity. He would frequently tell Jim that he was not wanted in the drawing-room after supper. When spoken to about the money he laughed and said:

The months went by, and Ted was always going to pay, but he became more and more a part of the household. Jim's savings started to shrink. He complained to both his wife and Ted, but they just ignored him. The boxer started to take advantage of his familiarity. He often told Jim that he wasn't welcome in the living room after dinner. When asked about the money, he laughed and said:

“Oh, you’ve got plenty, old ’un. Lend us another fiver.”

“Oh, you’ve got loads, old timer. Can you lend us another five?”

On one occasion Jim was foolish enough to lend him another ten pounds, under the spell of some heartrending story about a poor woman in the street where Woollams lived. This lopsided triangle held together for nearly four years. Jim was unhappy and distracted. He did not know how to act. He could not leave his wife, for the sake of the child. If he turned her out—and he had no legal power to do so—she would probably take Annie with her. And the child was devoted to him. They were great friends, and it was only this friendship which prevented him indulging in some mad act. Several times he ordered Woollams[88] out of the house and forbade him to come again, but the boxer laughed at him and called him an old fool. He knew that his wife was practically keeping the man. They went to cinemas together, and often disappeared for the whole day, but she always returned at night, although it was sometimes two or three in the morning before she did so. Jim had no proof of actual unfaithfulness. Neither could he afford to hire detectives, a course of action which in any case appeared to him distasteful. Far from saving a hundred pounds a year, he was spending more than his income. His savings had dwindled to barely forty pounds. His business was stagnant, but still he trundled his barrow hither and thither, calling out, “Old iron! old iron!” and he struggled to pay the fair price.

One time, Jim was naive enough to lend him another ten pounds after being moved by some heartbreaking story about a poor woman in the street where Woollams lived. This uneven situation lasted for almost four years. Jim was unhappy and preoccupied. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t leave his wife for their child's sake. If he kicked her out—and he had no legal authority to do so—she would likely take Annie with her. The child was devoted to him. They were great friends, and it was this friendship that kept him from doing something crazy. Several times he told Woollams[88] to get out of the house and banned him from coming back, but the boxer just laughed at him and called him an old fool. He knew his wife was essentially supporting the guy. They went to the movies together and often vanished for the whole day, but she always came back at night, even if it was sometimes two or three in the morning. Jim had no proof of actual cheating. He also couldn’t afford to hire detectives, which he found distasteful anyway. Instead of saving a hundred pounds a year, he was spending more than he earned. His savings had shrunk to barely forty pounds. His business was stagnant, but he continued to push his cart around, calling out, “Old iron! old iron!” and he struggled to pay the fair price.

During a great period of his life Jim had enjoyed an unaccountable but staunch friendship with a gentleman named Isaac Rubens. Isaac Rubens was a Jew in a slightly similar way of business to himself, and he conducted a thriving house at the corner of the Holy Angel Road. Isaac was in many respects a very remarkable man. Large, florid, and puffy, with keen eagle eyes and an enormous nose, he was a man of profound knowledge of the history and value of objets d’art. He was moreover a man of his word. He was never known to give or accept a written contract, and never known to break a verbal one. The friendship between these two was in many respects singular. Isaac was a keen man of business, and Jim was of very little use to him. Isaac’s furniture was the real thing,[89] with names and pedigrees. He did not deal in old iron but in stones and jewels and ornaments. Nevertheless he seemed to find in Jim’s society a certain pleasure. Jim would call on his rounds and, leaving his barrow out in the road, would spend half-an-hour or so chatting with the Jew across the counter.

During a significant time in his life, Jim had a strange but solid friendship with a man named Isaac Rubens. Isaac Rubens was a Jewish man in a somewhat similar business as Jim's, and he ran a successful shop at the corner of Holy Angel Road. Isaac was, in many ways, a remarkable man. He was big, flushed, and puffy, with sharp eagle eyes and a large nose, possessing deep knowledge of the history and value of objets d’art. He was also a man who kept his word. He was never known to give or accept a written contract, and he never broke a verbal agreement. The friendship between these two was quite unique. Isaac was a shrewd businessman, while Jim wasn’t particularly helpful to him. Isaac's furniture was genuine,[89] complete with names and pedigrees. He didn’t deal in junk but rather in stones, jewels, and decorative items. Still, he seemed to find some joy in Jim's company. Jim would stop by during his rounds and, leaving his barrow out in the street, would spend about half an hour chatting with Isaac over the counter.

Sometimes after supper they would call on each other and smoke a pipe and discuss the vagaries of their calling, or the more abstract problems of life and death.

Sometimes after dinner, they would visit each other, smoke a pipe, and talk about the ups and downs of their work, or the more philosophical issues of life and death.

When this trouble came upon Jim he immediately repaired to his friend’s house and told him the whole story.

When this trouble hit Jim, he quickly went to his friend's house and told him everything that had happened.

“Oh, dear! oh, dear! This is a bad business! a bad business!” exclaimed Isaac, when it was over. His moist eyes glowed amidst the general humidity of his face. “How can I advise you? An erring wife is the curse of God. You cannot turn her away without knowledge. Thank God, my Lena.... But there! among my people such lapses are rare. You have no evidence of unfaithfulness?”

“Oh, no! Oh, no! This is really unfortunate! Really unfortunate!” Isaac exclaimed when it was all done. His watery eyes shone against the overall dampness of his face. “How can I even give you advice? A wayward wife is a terrible burden. You can't just send her away without knowing the truth. Thank God for my Lena... But with my people, such things hardly happen. Do you have any proof of unfaithfulness?”

“No.”

“Nope.”

“You must be gentle with her, gentle but firm. Point out the error of her ways.”

“You need to be kind to her, kind but assertive. Help her recognize her mistakes.”

“I am always doing that, Isaac.”

"I'm always doing that, Isaac."

“She may get over it—a passing infatuation. Such things happen.”

“She might get past it—a temporary crush. That kind of thing happens.”

“If it wasn’t for the child!”

“If it weren’t for the kid!”

“Yes, yes, I understand. Oh, dear! oh, dear! very distressing, my friend. If I can be of any assistance—”

“Yes, yes, I get it. Oh no! Oh no! That's really troubling, my friend. If I can help in any way—”

[90]

[90]

He thrust out his large hands helplessly. It is the kind of trouble in which no man can help another, and each knew it. Jim hovered by the door.

He extended his large hands helplessly. It was the kind of situation where no one could help another, and they both understood that. Jim lingered by the door.

“It’s nice to have some one to—talk to, anyway,” he muttered; then he picked up his cap and shuffled away, calling out:

“It’s nice to have someone to—talk to, anyway,” he mumbled; then he picked up his cap and walked off, shouting:

“Old iron! Old iron!”

"Scrap metal! Scrap metal!"

Annie was nine when the climax came. An intelligent, pretty child, with dark hair and quick, impulsive manners. Her passionate preference for her father did not tend to smooth the troubles of the household. She attended the grammar-school and had many girl-friends. She saw very little of her mother.

Annie was nine when everything changed. She was a smart, pretty kid with dark hair and a lively, impulsive personality. Her intense preference for her dad didn’t help the issues at home. She went to grammar school and had lots of girlfriends. She spent very little time with her mom.

One evening Jim returned home late. He had been on a visit to his friend, Isaac. He found Annie seated on the bottom stair, in her nightdress. Her face was very pale and set, her eyes bright. She had been crying. When she saw her father she gasped:

One evening, Jim came home late. He had been visiting his friend, Isaac. He found Annie sitting on the bottom stair in her nightdress. Her face was very pale and tense, and her eyes were bright. She had been crying. When she saw her father, she gasped:

“Daddy!... Oh, Daddy!”

“Dad!... Oh, Dad!”

He seized her in his arms and whispered:

He pulled her into his arms and whispered:

“What is it, my dear?”

"What is it, sweetheart?"

Then she cried quietly while he held her. He did not attempt to hurry her. At last she got her voice under control and gasped quietly:

Then she quietly cried while he held her. He didn’t try to rush her. Finally, she managed to control her voice and gasped softly:

“I had gone to bed. I don’t know why it was. I got restless in bed. I came down again softly. I peeped into the sitting-room.... Oh, Daddy!”

“I had gone to bed. I don’t know why it was. I got restless in bed. I came down softly again. I peeked into the living room.... Oh, Daddy!”

“What? What, my love?”

“What? What is it, my love?”

“That man.... That man and—”

"That guy... That guy and—"

“Your mother?”

“Your mom?”

[91]

[91]

“Yes.”

"Yep."

“He was—”

“He was—”

“He was kissing her and—Oh!”

“He was kissing her and—Whoa!”

Jim clutched his child and pressed her head against his breast.

Jim held his child close and pressed her head against his chest.

“I went in.... He struck me.”

“I went in.... He hit me.”

“What!”

“Seriously?”

“He struck me because I wouldn’t promise not to tell.”

“He hit me because I wouldn’t promise not to tell.”

“He struck you, eh? He struck you! That man struck you, eh?”

“He hit you, huh? He hit you! That guy hit you, huh?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Yes, Dad.”

“Where is he?”

"Where is he?"

“They’re—up there now. I’m frightened.”

“They're up there now. I'm scared.”

“Go to bed, my love. Go to bed.”

“Go to bed, my love. Go to bed.”

He carried her up the stairs and fondled her, and put her into bed.

He carried her up the stairs, kissed her, and helped her into bed.

“It’s all right, my love. Go to sleep. Pleasant dreams. It’s all right. Daddy will look after you.”

“It’s okay, my love. Go to sleep. Sweet dreams. It’s okay. Daddy will take care of you.”

Then he went downstairs.

Then he went downstairs.

A shout of laughter greeted him through the door of the sitting-room. He gripped the handle and walked deliberately in. Ted Woollams was stretching himself luxuriously on the sofa. His heavy sensual face appeared puffy and a little mussed. Clara was lying back in an easy chair, smoking a cigarette. Jim did not speak. He walked up to Ted and without any preliminary explanation struck him full on the nose with his clenched fist. For a moment the boxer appeared more surprised than anything. His eyes narrowed,[92] then the pain of the blow appeared to sting him. He rose from the sofa with a growl. As he advanced upon Jim, the latter thought:

A burst of laughter welcomed him as he entered the sitting room. He grasped the handle and walked in confidently. Ted Woollams was sprawling comfortably on the sofa. His large, sensual face looked puffy and a bit disheveled. Clara was reclining in an armchair, smoking a cigarette. Jim didn't say a word. He walked over to Ted and, without any explanation, punched him squarely on the nose with his fist. For a moment, the boxer looked more shocked than anything else. His eyes narrowed,[92] and then the pain from the hit seemed to register. He got off the sofa with a growl. As he approached Jim, the latter thought:

“He’s going to kill me. What a fool I was not to strike him with a poker!”

“He’s going to kill me. What a fool I was for not hitting him with a poker!”

He thrust out his arms in an ineffectual defense. There was something horribly ugly, ugly and revolting in the animal-like lurch of the man bearing down on him ... the demon of an inevitable doom. Jim struck wildly at the other’s arms, at the same time thinking:

He pushed his arms out in a useless attempt to defend himself. There was something horrifyingly ugly, ugly and disgusting in the way the man was lurching toward him, like an animal... the demon of unavoidable doom. Jim flailed at the other man’s arms while also thinking:

“My little girl! I promised to look after her.”

"My little girl! I promised to take care of her."

A jarring blow above the heart staggered him, and as he began to crumple forward he had a quick vision of the more destroying fate, the something which came crashing to his jaw. He heard his wife scream; then darkness enveloped him.

A hard hit above the heart knocked him off balance, and as he started to collapse forward, he instantly saw the more devastating fate, the force that came slamming into his jaw. He heard his wife scream; then darkness took over.

A long and very confused period followed. His glimpses of consciousness were intermittent and accompanied by pain. He heard people talking, and they appeared strangers to him. There was a lot of talking going on, quarreling, perhaps. When he was once more a complete master of his brain he realized abruptly that he was in the ward of a hospital. His jaw was strapped up tight and was giving him great pain; a nurse was feeding him through a silver tube. Two of his teeth were missing. He wanted to talk to her, but found he could not speak. Then he recalled the incident of his calamity. Well, there it was. He had been brought up in a hard school. Old iron![93] The instinct of self-preservation prompted him to bide his time. Doubtless his jaw was broken; a long job, but he would get well again. At the end of the journey Annie awaited him. What was the child doing now? Who was looking after her? He passed through periods of mental anguish and misgiving, and then long periods of drowsy immobility. Night succeeded day. To his surprise, on the following afternoon, his wife appeared. She came and sat by the bed, and said:

A long and confusing period followed. His moments of awareness were sporadic and painful. He heard people talking, but they seemed like strangers to him. There was a lot of chatter, maybe even arguing. Once he regained control of his mind, he suddenly realized he was in a hospital ward. His jaw was tightly strapped and was causing him great pain; a nurse was feeding him through a silver tube. Two of his teeth were missing. He wanted to speak to her but found he couldn't. Then the memory of his accident came back to him. Well, there it was. He had been through a tough experience. Old iron! [93] The instinct for survival told him to wait it out. His jaw was probably broken; it would be a long recovery, but he would heal. At the end of this ordeal, Annie was waiting for him. What was the child doing now? Who was taking care of her? He went through periods of mental pain and worry, followed by long stretches of drowsy stillness. Night came after day. To his surprise, the next afternoon, his wife showed up. She sat by the bed and said:

“Going on all right?”

"Everything going okay?"

He nodded. She looked uneasily round, then whispered:

He nodded. She glanced around nervously, then whispered:

“You needn’t have taken on like that. Ted’s going off to America, to-morrow—fulfilling engagements.”

"You didn't have to act like that. Ted is leaving for America tomorrow to fulfill his commitments."

Jim stared at the ceiling, then closed his eyes. Ted no longer interested him. He wanted Annie, and he could not ask for her. Clara stayed a few moments, chatted with the nurse, and vanished. Why had she come? Later on, he was removed to the operating theater, and they re-set his jaw. The shift of time again became uncertain. A long while later he remembered a kindly-faced man in a white overall saying:

Jim stared at the ceiling, then closed his eyes. Ted no longer interested him. He wanted Annie, but he couldn’t ask for her. Clara stayed for a few moments, chatted with the nurse, and then disappeared. Why had she come? Later, he was taken to the operating room, and they reset his jaw. The passage of time grew unclear once again. A long while later, he remembered a kindly-looking man in a white coat saying:

“Well, old chap, who struck you this blow?”

“Well, buddy, who hit you with that?”

He bent his ear down to Jim’s lips, and the latter managed to reply:

He leaned in closer to Jim's lips, and Jim was able to respond:

“A stranger.”

“A newcomer.”

Isaac came, humid and concerned, and pressed his hand.

Isaac arrived, feeling sticky and worried, and shook his hand.

[94]

[94]

“Well, well, I’ve found you, old friend! A neighbor told me. Distressing indeed. They say you must not talk. Well, what can I do?”

“Well, well, I’ve found you, old friend! A neighbor told me. That’s really troubling. They say you can’t talk. So, what can I do?”

Jim indicated with his hands that he wished to write something down. Isaac produced an envelope and a pencil, and he wrote:

Jim signaled with his hands that he wanted to write something down. Isaac took out an envelope and a pencil, and he wrote:

“Go and see my little gal Annie. Send her to me. Keep an eye on her.”

“Go and check on my little girl Annie. Have her come to me. Take care of her.”

Isaac nodded gravely, and went away.

Isaac nodded seriously and walked away.

There appeared an eternity of time before the child came, but when she did all his dark forebodings vanished. She came smiling up the ward, and kissed him. They held each other’s hands for a long time before she spoke.

There seemed to be an eternity before the child arrived, but when she did, all his dark fears disappeared. She walked up the hallway with a smile and kissed him. They held hands for a long time before she said anything.

“They would not tell me where you were. It was old Mr. Rubens. Oh, Daddy, are you getting better?”

“They wouldn’t tell me where you were. It was old Mr. Rubens. Oh, Dad, are you feeling better?”

Yes, he was getting better. Much better. During the last two minutes he had improved enormously. He felt that he could speak. He managed to mumble:

Yes, he was getting better. Much better. In the last two minutes, he had improved a lot. He felt that he could talk. He managed to mumble:

“How are you, my love?”

“How are you, babe?”

“All right. Mother has been very cross. That horrid man has gone away. Mr. Rubens said you hurt your face. How did it happen, Daddy?”

“All right. Mom has been really upset. That awful man has left. Mr. Rubens said you hurt your face. How did that happen, Dad?”

“I slipped on the stairs, my dear, and fell.”

“I slipped on the stairs, my love, and fell.”

Annie’s eyes opened very wide, but she did not speak. He knew by her manner that she did not believe him. At the back of her eyes there still lurked something of that horror which haunted them on the night when she had discovered “that horrid man” embracing her mother. It was the same night that her father[95] “slipped on the stairs.” The child was too astute to dissociate the two incidents, but she did not want to distress him.

Annie’s eyes widened, but she didn’t say anything. He could tell from her expression that she didn’t believe him. In the back of her eyes, there was still a hint of the fear that haunted her the night she saw “that horrible man” with her mother. It was the same night her father [95] “fell on the stairs.” The girl was smart enough to connect the two events, but she didn’t want to upset him.

“I shall come every day,” she announced.

"I'll come every day," she said.

He smiled gratefully, and she stayed and chatted with him until the sister proclaimed that visitors were to depart.

He smiled with gratitude, and she stayed to chat with him until the sister announced that visitors had to leave.

From that day the convalescence of Jim Canning, although slow, was assured. Apart from the broken jaw he had suffered a slight concussion owing to striking the back of his head against the wall when he fell. The hospital authorities could not get out of him how the accident happened. Annie and Isaac Rubens were regular visitors, but during the seven weeks he remained in hospital Clara only visited him twice, and that was to arrange about money. On the day that he was discharged he had drawn his last five pounds from the bank.

From that day on, Jim Canning's recovery, although slow, was guaranteed. Besides his broken jaw, he had also sustained a mild concussion from hitting the back of his head against the wall when he fell. The hospital staff couldn't figure out how the accident had occurred. Annie and Isaac Rubens visited him regularly, but during the seven weeks he was in the hospital, Clara only came to see him twice, and that was just to discuss money matters. On the day he was released, he withdrew his last five pounds from the bank.

“Never mind, never mind,” he thought to himself; “we’ll soon get that back.”

“Never mind, never mind,” he thought to himself; “we’ll get that back soon.”

And within a few days he was again trundling his barrow along the streets, calling out in his rather high tremolo voice, “Old iron! Old iron!”

And within a few days, he was back to wheeling his cart down the streets, calling out in his somewhat high-pitched voice, “Old iron! Old iron!”

There followed after that a long period in the life of the Canning family which is usually designated as “humdrum.” With the departure of Ted Woollams, Clara settled down into a listless prosecution of her domestic routine. She seldom spoke to her husband except to nag him, or to grumble about their reduced circumstances, and these for a time were in a very serious[96] state. Debts had accumulated, and various odds and ends in the house had disappeared while he had been in hospital. Clara was still smartly dressed, but Annie’s clothes, particularly her boots, were in a deplorable condition. But Jim set to work, leaving home in the morning at seven o’clock and often not returning till eight or nine at night. For months the financial position remained precarious. A period of hunger, and ill-temper, and sudden ugly brawls. But gradually he began again to get it under control. Clara had not lost her taste for good living, but she was kept in check by the lack of means. She was furtive, sullen, and resentful. Jim insisted that whatever they had to go without, Annie was to continue with her schooling.

After that, there was a long stretch in the life of the Canning family usually called “boring.” When Ted Woollams left, Clara fell into a monotonous routine at home. She rarely talked to her husband unless it was to complain or to grumble about their tight financial situation, which was quite serious for a time. Debts had piled up, and various things around the house had gone missing while he was in the hospital. Clara still dressed well, but Annie’s clothes, especially her boots, were in terrible shape. Jim worked hard, leaving home at seven in the morning and often not getting back until eight or nine at night. For months, their financial situation stayed shaky. They dealt with hunger, bad moods, and sudden, ugly fights. But gradually, he started to regain control. Clara hadn’t lost her appetite for the good life, but she was restrained by their lack of money. She was secretive, sulky, and bitter. Jim insisted that no matter what they had to give up, Annie needed to stay in school.

They never spoke of Ted Woollams, but Jim knew that he had only gone away for four or five months. Jim struggled on through the winter months, out in all weathers in his thin and battered coat. Sometimes twinges of rheumatism distorted his face, but he mentioned it to no one, not even Isaac.

They never talked about Ted Woollams, but Jim knew he had only been gone for four or five months. Jim pushed through the winter months, braving all kinds of weather in his worn and tattered coat. Sometimes, twinges of rheumatism twisted his face, but he didn't bring it up with anyone, not even Isaac.

It was in April that a sudden and dramatic change came into Jim’s life. One morning he was alone in the shop. It was raining, and no customers had been in for several hours. Jim was struggling with the unsolvable problem of getting things straight and sorted out. Beneath a bed he came across a jumble of indescribable things, bits of iron and broken pots, odd boots, sections of brackets, nameless odd-shaped remnants covered with dust and grime. He sighed. He remembered[97] this lot quite well. They had been a great disappointment to him. He had trundled his barrow all the way down to a sale in Greenwich, where he had been given the tip that there were some good things going. Owing to losing his way, he had arrived late, and all the plums had been devoured by rival dealers. He had picked up this lot at the end of the sale for a few shillings, not that they appealed to him as a good bargain, but because he did not want to feel that he had completely wasted his day. He had brought them back and dumped them under the bed, intending to go through them later on. That was many months ago, long before he had been to the hospital, and there they had remained ever since.

It was in April that Jim's life took a sudden and dramatic turn. One morning, he was alone in the shop. It was raining, and no customers had come in for several hours. Jim was struggling with the never-ending task of getting things organized. Under a bed, he found a mess of indescribable items—scrap metal, broken pots, mismatched boots, pieces of brackets, and unidentifiable odd-shaped remnants covered in dust and grime. He sighed. He remembered[97] this lot well. They had been a huge disappointment for him. He had wheeled his cart all the way to a sale in Greenwich after hearing there were some good finds. But after losing his way, he arrived late, and all the good stuff had been snatched up by other dealers. He ended up picking up this lot at the end of the sale for a few shillings, not because he thought it was a great deal, but because he didn’t want to feel like he had completely wasted his day. He had taken it back and just tossed it under the bed, planning to sort through it later. That was many months ago, long before his hospital stay, and it had stayed there ever since.

Jim’s ideas of dusting were always a little perfunctory. With a small feather brush he flicked clouds of dust from one object to another. No; there was nothing here of any value, though that piece of torn embroidery might fetch five shillings, and the small oblong iron box which some one had painted inside and out a dark green might be worth a little more. He picked it up and examined it. A ridiculous notion to paint iron; but there! people were fools, particularly customers. Of course it might be copper or brass. In that case it would be worth more. He pulled out a long jack-knife and scraped the surface. The paint was old but incredibly thick. It must have had a dozen coats or so. When he eventually got down to the surface he found a dark-blue color.

Jim's approach to dusting was always a bit half-hearted. With a small feather duster, he brushed clouds of dust from one item to another. No, there wasn't anything of real value here, although that torn piece of embroidery might sell for five shillings, and the small oblong iron box, painted dark green inside and out, might be worth a bit more. He picked it up and took a closer look. It was a silly idea to paint iron, but there you go! People are foolish, especially customers. Of course, it could be copper or brass. In that case, it would be worth more. He pulled out a long jackknife and scraped at the surface. The paint was old but surprisingly thick. It must have had about a dozen coats or so. When he finally got through to the surface, he discovered a dark blue color.

“Um!” thought Jim. “That’s a funny thing.”

“Um!” thought Jim. “That’s a strange thing.”

[98]

[98]

And he scraped a little more, and found some brown and white.

And he scraped a bit more and found some brown and white.

“That’s enamel,” he said out loud. “An enamel box. Um! I’ll show that to Isaac. An enamel box might be worth several pounds.”

"That's enamel," he said aloud. "An enamel box. Hmm! I'll show that to Isaac. An enamel box could be worth several pounds."

He put the box on one side, and continued tidying up. That evening, after supper, he wrapped the box up in a piece of newspaper and took it round to his friend.

He set the box aside and kept tidying up. That evening, after dinner, he wrapped the box in a piece of newspaper and took it over to his friend.

Isaac adjusted his thickest glasses and examined the spot where Jim had scratched. Then he went to the door and called out:

Isaac adjusted his thickest glasses and looked at the spot where Jim had scratched. Then he went to the door and called out:

“Lizzie, bring me some turpentine.”

“Lizzie, get me some turpentine.”

When the turpentine was brought, Isaac began to work away at the surface with a rag and penknife. His face was very red, but he made no remark except once to mutter:

When the turpentine was brought, Isaac started to scrub the surface with a rag and a penknife. His face was very red, but he didn't say anything except for once when he mumbled:

“This paint alone is twenty or thirty years old.”

“This paint is at least twenty or thirty years old.”

It took him nearly half-an-hour to reveal a complete corner of the box. Then he sat back and examined it through a microscope. Jim waited patiently. At last Isaac put it down and tapped the table.

It took him almost half an hour to uncover a whole corner of the box. Then he leaned back and looked at it through a microscope. Jim waited patiently. Finally, Isaac set it down and tapped the table.

“This,” he said deliberately, “is a Limoges enamel box of the finest period. An amazing find! Where did you obtain it?”

“This,” he said with intention, “is a Limoges enamel box from the finest period. An incredible discovery! Where did you get it?”

“I bought it at a sale of the effects of an old lady named Brandt, at Greenwich. She died intestate, and had no relatives.”

“I bought it at a sale of the belongings of an old lady named Brandt, in Greenwich. She died without a will and had no relatives.”

“You are in luck’s way, Jim Canning.”

"You're lucky, Jim Canning."

“But why was it painted dark-green?”

“But why was it painted dark green?”

[99]

[99]

“There are many mysteries in our profession. It was probably stolen many years ago—possibly a century ago. The thief knew that the piece was too well-known to attempt to dispose of for some time. So for security be painted it in order to hide it. Then something happened. He may have died or been sent to prison. The box passed into other bands. Nobody worried about it. It was just an old iron box. It has probably been lying in a lumber-room for years.”

“There are many mysteries in our profession. It was probably stolen many years ago—maybe a century ago. The thief knew that the piece was too famous to try to sell for a long time. So, for safety, he painted it to disguise it. Then something happened. He might have died or gone to prison. The box changed hands. Nobody cared about it. It was just an old iron box. It’s probably been sitting in a storage room for years.”

“It’s been lying in my shop for five months. Is it worth a great deal, Isaac?”

“It’s been sitting in my shop for five months. Is it worth a lot, Isaac?”

Isaac thoughtfully stroked his chin.

Isaac thoughtfully rubbed his chin.

“I am of opinion that if it is undamaged, and if the rest of it is up to the standard of this part we have disclosed, it is worth many thousand pounds.”

“I believe that if it is undamaged, and if the rest of it meets the standard of this part we've shown, it is worth many thousands of pounds.”

Jim looked aghast.

Jim looked shocked.

“But I only gave six-and-sixpence for the lot!”

“But I only paid six shillings and sixpence for the whole thing!”

“It is the fortune of our profession.”

“It is the fate of our profession.”

The upshot of it was that Jim left the box in Isaac’s hands to deal with as he thought fit. At first Isaac wished to waive the question of commission, but when Jim pointed out that but for Isaac’s superior knowledge he would probably have sold it for a five-pound note, the Jew agreed to sell it on a ten per cent. basis. Fair bargaining on both sides.

The bottom line was that Jim left the box with Isaac to handle as he saw fit. Initially, Isaac wanted to skip the commission discussion, but when Jim pointed out that without Isaac's expertise, he would likely have sold it for just five pounds, the Jew agreed to sell it for a ten percent commission. It was a fair deal for both parties.

Jim returned home, almost dazed by the news. Was it fair to obtain such a large sum of money in such a way? He had done nothing to deserve it. And yet—who should have it, if not he? The old lady had not even any relations. She was an eccentric who lived[100] alone with a crowd of cats. An enamel box has no attraction to a cat.

Jim came home, feeling almost stunned by the news. Was it fair to receive such a large amount of money like this? He hadn’t done anything to earn it. And yet—who else should get it, if not him? The old woman didn’t have any relatives. She was an eccentric who lived alone with a bunch of cats. An enamel box has no appeal to a cat.[100]

He said nothing about his find to his wife or to Annie. He did not wish to buoy them up with false hopes. Perhaps, after all, Isaac might be mistaken, or he may have over-valued the object. A thousand pounds! A dazzling sum. Why, he could almost retire upon it to—Shorwell Green, where it was so quiet and peaceful. But no! Clara would not agree to that—the Camden Road! He detested the Camden Road, but still, there it was. Clara was his wife. It was only fair to consider her wishes, although they were so unhappy together. In any case, it would be a great relief; security for years to come.

He didn’t say anything about his discovery to his wife or Annie. He didn’t want to give them false hopes. Maybe, after all, Isaac could be wrong, or he might have overestimated the value of the item. A thousand pounds! An incredible amount. He could almost retire to—Shorwell Green, where it was so calm and peaceful. But no! Clara wouldn’t agree to that—the Camden Road! He hated the Camden Road, but still, that’s where they were. Clara was his wife. It was only fair to think about her wishes, even though they were so unhappy together. In any case, it would be a huge relief; security for years ahead.

He went back to his work as though nothing had happened. Weeks went by, and Jim heard nothing about the enamel box; and then, one morning, he received a note from Isaac asking him to call round at once.

He returned to his work like nothing had happened. Weeks passed, and Jim didn’t hear anything about the enamel box; then, one morning, he got a note from Isaac asking him to stop by immediately.

When he entered his friend’s shop he knew that something exceptional had happened. Isaac was excited. He glowed and smiled, and was almost jocular.

When he walked into his friend's shop, he could tell something amazing had happened. Isaac was thrilled. He was beaming and smiling, and he was almost playful.

“Come into my little room,” he said.

“Come into my small room,” he said.

When they were seated, he elaborately produced a cheque from his vest pocket, and handed it across the table to Jim.

When they sat down, he carefully took out a check from his jacket pocket and handed it over to Jim across the table.

“Here is your little share. I have kept my commission.”

“Here’s your little share. I kept my cut.”

It was a cheque for £4,140. Isaac had sold it for £4,600 to a well-known collector.

It was a check for £4,140. Isaac had sold it for £4,600 to a well-known collector.

The rest of that day was like a dream to Jim.[101] Truly, he returned and pretended to be busy. In the afternoon, he even went out and trundled his barrow, calling out, “Old iron! Old iron!” but he did it more by force of habit.

The rest of that day felt like a dream to Jim.[101] Honestly, he went back and acted like he was busy. In the afternoon, he even went out and pushed his cart, shouting, “Old iron! Old iron!” but he was doing it more out of habit.

“I need not do this any more,” he kept on thinking. His mind was occupied with many visions. It was a bright spring day, with light fleecy clouds scudding above the chimney-pots. How beautiful it would be in that Sussex vale! The flowers would be out, and the young pollard-willows reflected in the cool streams. Pleasant to lie on the bank and fish, and forget this grimy life. And Annie, racing hither and thither, picking the buttercups and marguerites, and nestling by his side. He could do all this! Freedom, by one of those queer twists of fate.

“I don’t need to do this anymore,” he kept thinking. His mind was filled with many visions. It was a bright spring day, with fluffy clouds drifting above the rooftops. How beautiful it would be in that Sussex valley! The flowers would be blooming, and the young willow trees would be reflected in the cool streams. It would be nice to lie on the bank and fish, and forget this dirty life. And Annie, running around, picking buttercups and daisies, snuggling up next to him. He could do all of this! Freedom, through one of those strange twists of fate.

The day wore on, and he still continued his work in a dazed, preoccupied manner. When the evening came, a feeling of exhaustion crept over him. Yes, probably he was tired. He wanted a rest and change. How fortunate he was. And yet he dreaded breaking the news to Clara. She would immediately demand a complete social upheaval. A new house, new furniture, luxuries, and parties, and social excitements. He arrived home late. During supper he was very silent.

The day went on, and he kept working in a dazed, distracted way. As evening approached, he started to feel exhausted. Yes, he was probably tired. He wanted a break and a change. How lucky he was. And yet he feared sharing the news with Clara. She would instantly want a major life change. A new house, new furniture, luxuries, parties, and social events. He got home late. He was very quiet during dinner.

“I will tell her afterwards,” he thought. Annie was in bed. She should be told to-morrow. But to-night it must be broken to Clara. After all, it was true, she was his wife. It was the fair thing to do. He tried to recall the moments of passion and tenderness of the early days of their honeymoon, but all the[102] other ugly visions kept dancing before his eyes. He lighted his pipe and gazed around the untidy room. Perhaps she would improve. Perhaps the changed conditions would soften her, and make her more amenable. But still, she was his wife, and if she wished to live in the Camden Road, well....

“I'll tell her later,” he thought. Annie was in bed. He should tell her tomorrow. But tonight, it had to be explained to Clara. After all, it was true—she was his wife. It was the right thing to do. He tried to remember the moments of passion and tenderness from their honeymoon, but all the other ugly thoughts kept crowding his mind. He lit his pipe and looked around the messy room. Maybe she would change. Maybe the new circumstances would make her softer and more agreeable. But still, she was his wife, and if she wanted to live on Camden Road, well...

It was nearly dark, and Clara went out of the room, humming. She seemed peculiarly cheerful to-night. Almost as if she knew.... He fingered the cheque in his breast-pocket. She had gone upstairs—probably to fetch a novel. She adored a certain kind of novel. When she came down, he would lay the cheque on the table, and say:

It was almost dark, and Clara left the room, humming. She seemed oddly cheerful tonight. Almost as if she knew... He fingered the check in his breast pocket. She had gone upstairs—likely to grab a book. She loved a certain type of novel. When she came back down, he would put the check on the table and say:

“Look, Clara; see what has happened to us!”

“Look, Clara; see what’s happened to us!”

And then he would be a little tender with her, try and make her understand how he felt. They would start all over again.

And then he would be a bit gentle with her, trying to help her understand how he felt. They would start fresh.

And then happened a variant of that hypothetical case described at the beginning of this story. Only, in this case it was the woman who went out.

And then a version of that hypothetical situation described at the beginning of this story occurred. But in this case, it was the woman who left.

Jim was sitting there with his fingers on the cheque that was to be their means of reconciliation, and with the tears already banked in his unuttered speech, when Clara put her head in the door. She had her hat on. She said:

Jim was sitting there with his fingers on the check that was supposed to bring them back together, with tears already ready in his unspoken words, when Clara peeked in through the door. She was wearing her hat. She said:

“I’m going to the post.”

“I’m going to the post office.”

Jim removed his hand from his breast-pocket. He sat back, and heard the door slam.

Jim took his hand out of his breast pocket. He leaned back and heard the door slam.

“I’ll tell her when she comes in.”

“I’ll let her know when she gets here.”

[103]

[103]

Clara never came in. He waited half-an-hour, and then he thought:

Clara never came in. He waited for half an hour, and then he thought:

“She’s gone to some dissipation with a friend. Oh, well, I must wait up till she returns, I suppose. I’m sorry she has disappointed me on—a night like this, though.”

"She’s off partying with a friend. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to wait up until she gets back. I’m just disappointed she let me down—on a night like this, though."

He sat dreaming in the chair, till he became suddenly painfully aware of cold. It was quite dark. He lighted the gas. It was one o’clock. He felt his heart beating with a physical dread. Something had happened to Clara. Perhaps she had been run over, at the very moment when everything was going to change for the better for her. He blundered his way out into the hall, where a gas-jet flickered feebly, and groped for his overcoat. On it he found a note pinned. He turned up the gas higher, and read:

He sat lost in thought in the chair until he suddenly felt the chill. It was pretty dark. He turned on the gas. It was one o’clock. He felt his heart racing with a sense of dread. Something had happened to Clara. Maybe she had been hit by a car, just when everything was about to get better for her. He stumbled into the hall, where a gas light flickered faintly, and searched for his overcoat. He found a note pinned to it. He turned up the gas higher and read:

“I’m going off to Ted Woollams. I’m sick of you, and the stinking little house. Ted’s made a bit in America, and I give you the address. You can do what you like about it, but it’s no good you ever trying to get me back.

“I’m going to Ted Woollams. I’m tired of you and this awful little house. Ted has made some money in America, and I’ll give you the address. You can do what you want with it, but don’t even think about trying to get me back.”

Clara.

“Clara.”

It was characteristic of Jim Canning that this note made him cry. He was so sensitive to its utter callousness and ingratitude. Then he dabbed his eyes with his old red handkerchief, and went upstairs. He tapped on Annie’s door, then he opened it and said quietly:

It was typical of Jim Canning that this note made him cry. He was so responsive to its sheer coldness and lack of appreciation. Then he wiped his eyes with his old red handkerchief and went upstairs. He knocked on Annie’s door, then opened it and said quietly:

“Annie, it’s all right, my dear. It’s only me. May I come in?”

“Annie, it’s okay, my dear. It’s just me. Can I come in?”

[104]

[104]

The sleeping child was awake abruptly. She held out her arms.

The sleeping child woke up suddenly. She reached out with her arms.

“I ought not to have woken you up, my love, only I felt a little—lonely. Annie, would you like to come away with me to a beautiful place in the country, where it’s all woods and flowers, and little streams?”

“I shouldn’t have woken you up, my love, but I felt a bit—lonely. Annie, would you like to come away with me to a beautiful spot in the countryside, where it’s full of trees and flowers, and little streams?”

“Oh, Daddy, yes! And would there be lambs, too, and little black pigs, and brown calves?”

“Oh, Dad, yes! And will there be lambs, too, and little black pigs, and brown calves?”

“Yes, my dear; all those things; and birds, too, and quietness, and freedom.”

“Yeah, my dear; all those things; and birds, too, and peace, and freedom.”

“But, Daddy, could we?”

“But, Dad, can we?”

“Yes, dear; I’ve had some good fortune.”

“Yes, sweetheart; I've had some good luck.”

Annie was very wide awake now, and she sat up and clapped her hands.

Annie was really wide awake now, and she sat up and clapped her hands.

“Oh, Daddy, when can we go?”

“Oh, Dad, when can we go?”

“Quite soon, my dear. Perhaps in a few weeks.”

“Very soon, my dear. Maybe in a couple of weeks.”

When he had closed the door, he dabbed his eyes again, and thought:

When he closed the door, he wiped his eyes again and thought:

“It was unthinking of me. I oughtn’t to have woken her up, but—she is all I have.”

“It was thoughtless of me. I shouldn't have woken her up, but—she is all I have.”

A week later he wrote to Clara:

A week later, he wrote to Clara:

“Dear Clara,

"Hey Clara,"

“I understand that for the last week you have been living with Ted Woollams. I do not critticize your action. We are all as God made us. I shall in the dew course take divorse proceedings not as an act of hostility to you but that you may marry the man of your choice and be respectable. I also shall share with you the result of a good deal last week in order that you may not want and so close with check for £2020. I think this fair.

“I understand that for the past week you've been living with Ted Woollams. I don't criticize your choice. We are all made the way we are. I will be starting divorce proceedings not as an act of hostility toward you, but so you can marry the man you want and be respected. I will also share the results of a good deal from last week so that you won't be in need, and I’ll include a check for £2020. I think that's fair.”

Jim.

Jim.

It was Isaac who helped him over all the difficult[105] problems which occurred at that time, and it was Isaac who persuaded him that he was overdoing the “fairness” to Clara. He said that under the circumstances he had no moral obligation to Clara, and that £500 would be lavish. So in the end Jim altered the cheque to that amount. It was Isaac who took over the little shop, which he used as a kind of dumping-ground of his superfluous stock. And it was Isaac who, a year after, returned letters addressed to Jim in a handwriting he recognized, “Gone away. Address not known.” And it was he who in later years bore the brunt of the wild invective of a drunken harridan who said that her husband had deserted her, and would not hand her any of the fortune he must have inherited. He shook his head sadly, and replied that he knew nothing. Mr. Canning and his daughter had left London. He thought they had gone to Australia.

It was Isaac who helped him with all the tough problems that came up at that time, and it was Isaac who convinced him that he was being too “fair” to Clara. He pointed out that given the situation, he had no moral obligation to Clara, and that £500 would be more than enough. So in the end, Jim changed the cheque to that amount. It was Isaac who took over the little shop, using it as a place to store his extra stock. And it was Isaac who, a year later, returned letters addressed to Jim in a handwriting he recognized, saying “Gone away. Address not known.” He was also the one who, in later years, faced the harsh insults of a drunk woman who claimed her husband had left her and wouldn’t give her any of the fortune he must have inherited. He shook his head sadly and replied that he didn’t know anything. Mr. Canning and his daughter had left London. He thought they had gone to Australia.

When she had gone, he said to himself:

When she left, he told himself:

“It would distress Jim to know that a woman who had once been his wife had sunk to such a condition.”

“It would upset Jim to know that a woman who had once been his wife had fallen to such a state.”

As he passed through to the room at the back he smiled and thought:

As he walked into the room at the back, he smiled and thought:

“How fortunate she did not come in here!”

“How lucky she didn’t come in here!”

On the table was a large bowl of red and white roses, with the label and card still lying on the table. On the card was inscribed, “With love to Uncle Isaac. A.”

On the table was a big bowl of red and white roses, with the label and card still resting on the table. The card read, “With love to Uncle Isaac. A.”

The postmark on the label was a village in Sussex.

The postmark on the label was from a village in Sussex.

[106]

[106]


[107]

[107]

LITTLE WHITE FROCK

[108]

[108]


[109]

[109]

LITTLE WHITE FROCK

When their careers are finished, the painter, the author, the architect, the sculptor, may point to this or that, and say, “Lo, this is my handiwork. Future generations shall rejoice in me.”

When their careers are over, the painter, the author, the architect, the sculptor, can point to this or that and say, “Look, this is my work. Future generations will appreciate me.”

But to the actor and the executive musician there is nothing left but—memories.

But for the actor and the executive musician, all that's left are—memories.

Their permanence lies in the memories of the people who loved them. They cannot pass it on. Some one may say to you, “Ah, my boy, you should have heard Jean de Reszke,” or, “You should have seen Macready play that part.” And you are bound in all politeness to accept this verdict, but if you have not heard Jean de Reszke, nor seen Macready, it leaves no definite impression on you at all. Indeed, the actor is in worse case than the musician. For at the present time there are ingenious mechanical devices for caging the performance of a musician with varying degrees of success, but no mechanism could ever imprison the electric thrill of Joseph Jefferson or Henry Irving on their great nights of triumph. They are gone forever, cast away among the limbo of the myths.

Their lasting impact lies in the memories of the people who loved them. They can't pass it on. Someone might say to you, “Ah, my boy, you should have heard Jean de Reszke,” or, “You should have seen Macready perform that role.” And out of politeness, you feel obligated to accept this opinion, but if you haven't heard Jean de Reszke or seen Macready, it doesn't leave any real impression on you. In fact, the actor's situation is worse than that of the musician. Nowadays, there are clever mechanical devices that can record a musician's performance with varying degrees of success, but no machine could ever capture the electric excitement of Joseph Jefferson or Henry Irving on their greatest nights. They are gone forever, lost among the myths.

These melancholy reflections occurred to me on the first occasion when I visited Colin Brancker. I met the old chap first of all in the public library. He had[110] a fine, distinguished head, with long, snow-white hair. He was slim, and in spite of a pronounced stoop, he carried himself with a certain distinction and alertness. I was a fairly regular visitor to the library, and I always found him devouring the magazines and newspapers which I particularly wanted to read myself. A misunderstanding about a copy of the Saturday Review led to a few formal expressions of courtesy, on the following day to a casual nod, later on to a few words about the weather; then to a profound bow on his part and an inquiry after his health from me. Once we happened to be going out at the same time, and I walked to the end of the road with him.

These thoughtful reflections came to me the first time I visited Colin Brancker. I first met the old guy in the public library. He had[110] a distinguished head with long, snow-white hair. He was slim, and despite a noticeable stoop, he carried himself with a certain elegance and alertness. I was a pretty regular visitor to the library, and I always found him engrossed in the magazines and newspapers that I wanted to read myself. A mix-up over a copy of the Saturday Review led to some polite exchanges, the next day to a casual nod, then a few words about the weather; eventually, he offered me a deep bow and I asked about his health. One time, we ended up leaving at the same moment, and I walked to the end of the road with him.

He interested me at once. His clear, precise diction, with its warm timbre of restrained emotion, was very arresting. His sympathy about the merest trifles stirred you to the depths. If he said, “What a glorious day it is to-day!” it was not merely a conventional expression, but a kind of pæan of all the joy and ecstasy of spring life, sunshine and young lambs frisking in the green meadows.

He caught my attention right away. His clear, precise speech, with its warm tone of controlled emotion, was really striking. His empathy over the smallest things touched you deeply. When he said, “What a beautiful day it is today!” it wasn’t just a typical expression, but a kind of celebration of all the joy and excitement of spring, sunshine, and young lambs playing in the green fields.

If he said, “Oh! I’m so sorry,” in reply to your announcement that you had lost your ’bus ticket coming along and had had to pay twice, the whole dread incident appeared to you envisaged through a mist of tears. The grief of Agamemnon weeping over the infidelity of Clytemnestra seemed but a trite affair in comparison.

If he said, “Oh! I’m so sorry,” in response to you saying that you lost your bus ticket on the way and had to pay twice, the whole terrible situation felt to you like it was seen through a fog of tears. The sorrow of Agamemnon crying over Clytemnestra’s betrayal seemed pretty trivial by comparison.

One day, with infinite tact, he invited me to his “humble abode.” He occupied the upper part of a small house in Talbot Road. He lived alone, but was[111] apparently tended by a gaunt, middle-aged woman who glided about the place in felt slippers.

One day, with great finesse, he invited me to his “humble home.” He lived in the upper part of a small house on Talbot Road. He was alone, but there was a thin, middle-aged woman who seemed to take care of the place, moving around quietly in felt slippers.

The rooms were, as he expressed it, “humble,” but not by any means poverty-stricken. He had several pieces of old furniture and bric-à-brac, innumerable mementoes and photographs. It was then that I realized the peculiar position of the actor. If he had been a painter I could have looked at some of his work and have “placed” him; but what could you do with an old actor who lived so much in the past? The position seemed to me pitiable.

The rooms were, as he put it, “humble,” but definitely not poor. He had a few pieces of old furniture and knick-knacks, countless souvenirs and photos. That’s when I understood the unique situation of the actor. If he had been a painter, I could have looked at some of his work and assessed him; but what do you do with an old actor who lives so much in the past? The situation seemed really sad to me.

Doubtless in his day he had been a fine and distinguished actor, and here was I, who knew nothing about him, and did not like to ask what parts he had played because I felt that I ought to know. Neither was he very informing. Not that he was diffident in speech—he talked well and volubly—but I had to gather what he had done by his various implications. There was a signed photograph of himself in the character of Malvolio, and in many other Shakespearean parts. There were also signed photographs of J. L. Toole and Henry Irving, and innumerable actors, some of whom were famous and others whose names were unfamiliar to me. By slow degrees I patched together some of the romantic tissues of his life. Whatever position he may have held in the theatrical world, he certainly still had the faculty of moving one person profoundly—myself. Everything in that little room seemed to vibrate with romance. One of Irving’s photographs was inscribed “To my dear old friend, Colin[112] Brancker.” On the circular table was an enamel snuff-box given him by Nellie Farren.

Without a doubt, in his time, he had been a talented and respected actor, and here I was, completely clueless about him, and didn't want to ask what roles he had played because I felt like I should know. He wasn't very forthcoming either. It wasn't that he hesitated to speak—he spoke well and at length—but I had to piece together what he had accomplished from his various hints. There was a signed photo of him as Malvolio, along with many others from Shakespearean roles. There were also signed photos of J. L. Toole and Henry Irving, along with countless actors, some of whom were well-known and others whose names meant nothing to me. Gradually, I started to understand some of the more romantic aspects of his life. No matter what status he might have had in the theater world, he definitely still had the ability to move one person deeply—me. Everything in that small room felt full of romance. One of Irving’s photos was inscribed, “To my dear old friend, Colin[112] Brancker.” On the round table sat an enamel snuff box he had received from Nellie Farren.

When he spoke of his mother his voice sounded like some distant organ with the vox humana stop pulled out. I gathered that his mother had been a famous French actress. On the piano was a fan given her by the Empress Eugénie. He never spoke of his father. Nearly everything had some intimate association.

When he talked about his mother, his voice resembled a faraway organ with the vox humana stop engaged. I figured out that his mother had been a well-known French actress. There was a fan on the piano that the Empress Eugénie had given her. He never mentioned his father. Almost everything had some personal connection.

I formed a habit of calling on old Brancker on Thursday evenings, when my wife usually visited an invalid aunt. The experience was always a complete entertainment. He knew nothing of my world and I knew nothing of his. I came completely under the spell of his imagery. I had only to touch some trinket on the mantelpiece to set the whole machinery of retrospection on the move. He came haltingly to his subject as though he were feeling for it through the lavender-scented contents of some old drawer. But when the subject was discovered, he brought the whole picture vividly before my mind. I could see those people strutting before the footlights, hear them laugh and joke in their stuffy lodgings and their green-rooms, follow their hard life upon the road, their struggles, and adversities, and successes, and above all the moving throb of their passions and romances.

I got into the habit of visiting old Brancker on Thursday evenings, when my wife usually spent time with her sick aunt. Every time, it was a total delight. He didn’t understand my world at all, and I was clueless about his. I was completely captivated by his storytelling. All I had to do was touch a small object on the mantelpiece to set off a flood of memories. He would approach his topic slowly, as if he were searching for it in the lavender-scented contents of some old drawer. But once he found it, he would paint the whole scene vividly in my mind. I could picture those people performing on stage, hear their laughter and banter in their cramped homes and backstage, follow their tough journeys on the road, their challenges, their triumphs, and most importantly, the intense emotions and romances they experienced.

And then the picture would die out. It had no beginning and no end. It was just an impression. The angle of vision would alter. Something else would appear upon the scene.

And then the image would fade away. It had no start and no finish. It was just an impression. The perspective would shift. Something else would come into view.

After a time, touched with pity for this lonely and[113] derelict old actor, my wife and I occasionally sent him little presents of game and port wine, when such things came our way. I would like to explain, at this point, that my wife is younger than I. Her outlook is less critical and introspective. To use her own expression, she is out to have a good time. She enjoys dances and theaters and gay parties. And, after all, why shouldn’t she? She is young and beautiful and full of life. Her hair—but I digress! In spite of the pheasants and the port, she had never met old Brancker. But one day we all happened to meet at the corner of the Talbot Road. I then enjoyed an entirely novel vision of my hero. He was magnificent. The bow he made, the long sweep of the hat, would have put d’Artagnan to shame. When I introduced them, he held her hand for a moment, and said:

After a while, feeling sorry for this lonely and[113] neglected old actor, my wife and I occasionally sent him little gifts of game and port wine when we had them. I want to clarify at this point that my wife is younger than I am. Her perspective is less critical and reflective. To use her own words, she’s here to have a good time. She loves dancing, theaters, and lively parties. And really, why shouldn’t she? She’s young, beautiful, and full of life. Her hair—but I’m getting off track! Despite the game and port, she had never met old Brancker. But one day, we all happened to run into each other at the corner of Talbot Road. I then saw my hero in a completely new light. He was incredible. The bow he made, the grand sweep of his hat, would have put d’Artagnan to shame. When I introduced them, he held her hand for a moment and said:

“It is indeed a great pleasure.”

“It’s definitely a pleasure.”

It doesn’t sound very much in print, but Alice completely went under. She blushed with pleasure, and told me afterwards that she thought he was “a perfect old dear.” The affair lapsed for several weeks. I still continued to call upon him, and we nearly exhausted the whole gamut of his belongings. We even routed through old drawers where faded remnants of ancient fustian would recall some moving episode of the past. I became greedy for these visionary adventures.

It may not seem like much when you read it, but Alice was totally smitten. She blushed with delight and later told me she thought he was “a perfect old dear.” The whole thing tapered off for a few weeks. I kept visiting him, and we pretty much explored all of his stuff. We even rummaged through old drawers where worn-out pieces of cloth would bring back some emotional stories from the past. I became eager for these imaginative adventures.

One night, rather late, I found the little white frock. So familiar had I become with my old friend that I was allowed to poke about his room on my own, and ask him questions. It was a child’s frock, and it lay[114] neatly folded on the top of a chest in the passage. I brought it into the room, where he was sipping his rum-and-water, and said:

One night, pretty late, I found the little white dress. I had gotten so familiar with my old friend that I was allowed to explore his room by myself and ask him questions. It was a child's dress, and it was neatly folded on top of a chest in the hallway. I brought it into the room, where he was sipping his rum and water, and said:

“What’s this, Mr. Brancker?”

“What’s this, Mr. Brancker?”

He fixed his eyes upon the frock, and instantly I was aware that he was strangely moved. At first an expression of surprise and bewilderment crept over his face; then I observed a look of utter dejection and remorse. He did not speak, and rather confusedly I went up to him and touched him on the shoulder.

He stared at the dress, and I immediately realized that he was deeply affected. At first, a look of surprise and confusion spread across his face; then I noticed a look of complete sadness and regret. He didn't say anything, and feeling a bit uncertain, I walked up to him and touched his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “Doubtless there is some story.... I ought not to have....”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m sure there’s a story behind this... I shouldn’t have...”

Instantly he patted my arm in return, and muttered:

Instantly, he patted my arm back and mumbled:

“No, no. It’s all right, old boy. I will tell you. Only, not to-night. No, not to-night.”

“No, no. It’s fine, buddy. I’ll tell you. Just not tonight. No, definitely not tonight.”

He stood up and took one or two turns up and down the room in silence. I did not dare to intrude into the secret chamber of his memories. Suddenly he turned to me, and putting his arm round my shoulder, he exclaimed:

He got up and paced back and forth in the room quietly. I didn’t dare to interrupt his private thoughts. Then he turned to me, putting his arm around my shoulder, and said:

“Old boy, come in to-morrow. Come to dinner. Bring the wife. Yes, you must both come. Come to dinner at seven-thirty. And then—I will tell you the story of that little white frock.”

“Hey, buddy, come over tomorrow. Join us for dinner. Bring your wife. Yes, you both have to come. Dinner's at seven-thirty. And then—I’ll tell you the story of that little white dress.”

It happened that a dance my wife had intended going to the following night had fallen through. To my surprise, she jumped at Mr. Brancker’s invitation. She said that she thought it would be extremely interesting. I felt a little nervous at taking her. An invitation to dinner for the first time is always a doubtful number.[115] The social equation varies so alarmingly and unexpectedly. My wife frequently dined at what she called “smart” houses. How could old Brancker possibly manage a dinner in his poky rooms? I warned her to wear her oldest and shabbiest, and to have a sandwich before we started. Needless to say, my advice was ignored. She appeared in a wonderful gown of pearl-gray. Experience told me it was useless to protest, and I jogged along the street by her side in my tweed suit. And then I had my second surprise. Old Brancker was in immaculate evening-dress. Cunningly-modulated lights revealed a table glittering with silver and glass. I mumbled some apology for my negligence, but in his most courtly way he expressed his pleasure that I had treated him with such friendly lack of ceremony, nevertheless this question of dress—as so often happens—exercised a very definite effect upon my whole evening. I felt a little out of it. My wife and old Brancker seemed to belong to one world and I to another. Moreover, their conversation flowed easily and naturally. The old actor was in his most brilliant mood, and Alice sparkled and gurgled in response. Although she was younger and Brancker older than I, I felt at times that I was the oldest of the three, and that they were just children playing an absorbing game. And the dinner was the third surprise.

It turned out that a dance my wife planned to attend the next night got canceled. To my surprise, she eagerly accepted Mr. Brancker’s invitation. She mentioned that she thought it would be really interesting. I felt a bit anxious about taking her. An invitation to dinner for the first time is always a bit uncertain. The social dynamics can change so dramatically and unexpectedly. My wife often dined at what she called "fancy" places. How could old Brancker possibly host a dinner in his cramped rooms? I advised her to wear her oldest and most worn-out outfit and to have a sandwich before we left. Of course, she ignored my advice. She showed up in a stunning pearl-gray gown. Experience taught me that protesting was pointless, so I walked beside her in my tweed suit. Then I had my second surprise. Old Brancker was dressed in a sharp evening suit. Softly adjusted lights illuminated a table shining with silver and glass. I mumbled an apology for my casual attire, but in his most polite manner, he expressed his pleasure that I had come without too much formality. Still, this issue of dress—like often happens—had a noticeable impact on my entire evening. I felt a bit out of place. My wife and old Brancker seemed to be in one world, and I was in another. Plus, their conversation flowed easily and naturally. The old actor was in his most entertaining mood, and Alice was lively and animated in response. Despite being younger than my wife and older than me, I sometimes felt like I was the oldest of the three, watching them as if they were just kids caught up in a fascinating game. And the dinner was the third surprise.

The gaunt woman served it, gliding in and out of the room with a quiet assurance. It was no lodging-house dinner, but the artful succession of little dishes which symbolizes the established creed of superior-living creatures.[116] Wine, too, flowed from long-necked bottles, and coffee was served in diminutive cups. At length, Mrs. Windsor collected the last vestiges of this remarkable feast, but left on the table a silver tray on which were set four liqueur glasses and a decanter of green Chartreuse.

The thin woman served it, moving in and out of the room with a quiet confidence. It wasn't just a basic dinner, but a carefully arranged series of small dishes that represents the established standard of high-quality living. [116] Wine also flowed from long-necked bottles, and coffee was served in tiny cups. Eventually, Mrs. Windsor collected the last remnants of this impressive meal, but left on the table a silver tray holding four liqueur glasses and a decanter of green Chartreuse.

“Let us all sit round the fire,” said our host. “But, first, let me press you to have a little of this excellent beverage. It was given me by a holy brother, a man who led a varied life, but who, alas! died in disgrace.”

“Let’s all gather around the fire,” said our host. “But first, please let me offer you some of this excellent drink. It was given to me by a holy man, someone who lived a varied life, but who, unfortunately, died in disgrace.”

He passed his hand across his brow as though the memory were too sacred to be discussed. I sighed involuntarily, and my wife said brightly:

He ran his hand across his forehead as if the memory was too special to talk about. I let out a sigh without meaning to, and my wife said cheerfully:

“Not for me, Mr. Brancker; but you help yourself. And now you’re going to tell us the story of the white frock.”

“Not for me, Mr. Brancker; but you go ahead. And now you're going to share the story about the white dress.”

He raised his fine head and looked at her. Then he stretched out his long arm across the table and gently pressed her hand.

He lifted his handsome head and looked at her. Then he reached out his long arm across the table and softly pressed her hand.

“I beg of you, dear lady,” he said gently, “just one drop in memory of my friend.”

“I’m asking you, dear lady,” he said softly, “just one drop in memory of my friend.”

The implied sanctity of the appeal could not be denied. Both my wife and I partook of half a glass, and though I am by nature an abstainer, I must acknowledge that it tasted very good. Old Brancker’s hand trembled as he poured out the Chartreuse. He drank his at a gulp, and as though the emotion were not yet stilled, he had another one. Then he rose, and, taking my wife’s arm, he led her to the easy chair by the fire. I was rather proud of my intimate knowledge of the[117] old actor’s possessions, and I pointed out the snuff-box which Nellie Farren had given him, and the photograph of Irving, with its inscription “To my dear old friend.”

The implied importance of the invitation was obvious. Both my wife and I had half a glass, and even though I usually don't drink, I have to admit it tasted really good. Old Brancker's hand shook as he poured the Chartreuse. He downed his drink in one go, and as if he wasn't quite done feeling the moment, he had another one. Then he stood up, took my wife's arm, and guided her to the comfortable chair by the fire. I felt a bit proud of my close familiarity with the old actor’s belongings, so I pointed out the snuff-box that Nellie Farren had given him and the photo of Irving, which had the inscription "To my dear old friend."

Brancker sighed and shrugged his shoulders. Perhaps one does not boast of these associations. Perhaps it is vulgar, but I knew how interested Alice would be. When we had done a round of the rooms, whither in his fatherly way he had conducted my wife by the arm, and occasionally rested his hand ever so lightly on her shoulder, we returned to the dining-room, and Alice said:

Brancker sighed and shrugged his shoulders. Maybe one shouldn’t brag about these connections. Maybe it’s considered tacky, but I knew Alice would be really interested. After we had checked out a few rooms, which he had shown to my wife while gently guiding her by the arm and occasionally resting his hand lightly on her shoulder, we went back to the dining room, and Alice said:

“Now show me this little white frock!”

“Now show me that little white dress!”

He bowed, and without a word went out into the hall, and returned with the frock, which he spread reverently over the back of a chair.

He bowed and silently went out into the hall, then returned with the dress, which he laid respectfully over the back of a chair.

“How perfectly sweet!” said my wife.

“How perfectly sweet!” my wife said.

For a few moments he buried his head in his hands, and Alice and I were silent. I could not but observe the interesting mise-en-scène in which I found myself. The dim recesses of the room, heavy with memories. My wife cozily curled up in the high arm-chair, the firelight playing on her fresh, almost childlike, face, a simple ring sparkling on her finger, and on the pearly glint of her diaphanous gown. On the other side of the table where the little glasses stood, the clear-cut features and long snow-white hair of the old actor, silhouetted against a dark cabinet. And then, like some fragile ghost recalled to bear witness to its tragic past, the dim outline of the child’s white frock.

For a few moments, he buried his head in his hands, and Alice and I stayed silent. I couldn't help but notice the intriguing scene around me. The dim corners of the room were thick with memories. My wife snuggled comfortably in the high armchair, the firelight dancing on her fresh, almost childlike face, a simple ring sparkling on her finger, and the soft shine of her delicate gown. On the other side of the table where the small glasses were placed, the defined features and long snow-white hair of the old actor stood out against a dark cabinet. And then, like a fragile ghost called to witness its tragic past, the faint outline of the child's white dress appeared.

[118]

[118]

“It was before your time, mes enfants, long, long before your time,” he said suddenly. “You would not remember the famous Charles Carside Company who starred the provinces. We became known as the Capacity Company. The title was doubly-earned. We always played to full houses, and in those days—”

“It was before your time, my children, long, long before your time,” he said suddenly. “You wouldn’t remember the famous Charles Carside Company that toured the provinces. We became known as the Capacity Company. The name was well-deserved. We always played to packed crowds, and back then—”

He turned to me with a penetrating, almost challenging look, and added:

He turned to me with a sharp, almost daring look, and added:

“There were actors. Comedy, and tragedy, history, everything worth doing, in the legitimate, was in our répertoire. We changed our bill every night, and sometimes twice a day. Ay, and we changed our parts, sir. I remember Terry O’Bane and I reversing the parts of Othello and Iago on alternate nights for two weeks at a stretch. I played Lord Stamford to his Puttick in ‘The Golden Dawn.’ He played Shylock to my Bassanio. I will not bore you with these details. Ah! poor old Terry! Poor dear old Terry!”

“There were actors. Comedy, tragedy, history, everything that was worth doing in the legit scene was in our repertoire. We changed our lineup every night and sometimes even twice a day. Yep, and we switched our roles, sir. I remember Terry O’Bane and I swapping the parts of Othello and Iago on alternate nights for two weeks straight. I played Lord Stamford while he played Puttick in ‘The Golden Dawn.’ He played Shylock to my Bassanio. I won't bore you with these details. Ah! poor old Terry! Poor dear old Terry!”

He stopped and looked down at his hands, and neither of us spoke.

He paused and glanced at his hands, and neither of us said anything.

“When I say that Terry O’Bane and I were friends, I want to tell you that we were friends as only artists can be friends. We loved each other. For three years we worked together side by side—never a suspicion of envy, never a suspicion of jealousy. I remember one night, after Terry’s delivery of Jaques’ speech on the fool, he did not get a hand. I found him weeping in the wings. ‘Old fellow!’ I said, but he gripped me by the arm. ‘Colly boy,’ he answered, ‘I was thinking of you. I knew how distressed you would be!’[119] Think of that! His only concern was that I should be distressed. Ah! in those days....”

“When I say that Terry O’Bane and I were friends, I mean we had a bond like only artists can have. We truly cared about each other. For three years, we collaborated closely—no jealousy, no envy. I remember one night after Terry delivered Jaques’ speech about the fool, he didn’t get any applause. I found him crying in the wings. ‘Hey there!’ I said, but he grabbed my arm. ‘Colly boy,’ he replied, ‘I was thinking of you. I knew how upset you would be!’[119] Can you believe that? His only worry was how I would feel. Ah! those days....”

He stretched his long white fingers and examined them; then, turning suddenly to my wife, he said:

He stretched out his long white fingers and looked at them; then, suddenly turning to my wife, he said:

“I want to ask you, mademoiselle” (he persisted in calling her ‘mademoiselle’ all the evening), “to make allowances in what I am about to tell you for the tempora et mores. In my young days love had a different significance to what it has now. In this modern world I observe nothing but expediency and opportunism. No one is prepared to sacrifice, to run risks. The love between O’Bane and me was an epic of self-sacrifice, and it ran its full course. It found its acid test on the day when Sophie Wiles joined our company at Leeds.”

“I want to ask you, miss” (he kept calling her ‘miss’ all evening), “to consider the context of what I’m about to share with you. Back in my younger days, love meant something different than it does now. In today’s world, I see nothing but practicality and taking advantage of situations. No one is willing to make sacrifices or take risks. The love between O’Bane and me was a story of self-sacrifice, and it followed its complete path. It faced its ultimate challenge the day Sophie Wiles joined our group in Leeds.”

He stood up, and his voice trembled in a low whisper. Looking at Alice, he said:

He stood up, and his voice shook as he spoke in a low whisper. Looking at Alice, he said:

“She was as beautiful, as fragile, as adorable as you are, mademoiselle. Strange how these great secrets are conveyed imperceptibly. O’Bane and I looked at each other, and instinctively we understood. We said nothing. We made no comment about her. We were entirely solicitous of each other’s feelings. We referred to her as ‘Miss Wiles’ and we addressed her as ‘Miss Wiles.’ Before we had been three weeks on the road I knew that if I had not known O’Bane’s feelings I should have gone to her and said, ‘Sophie, my darling, my angel, I love you, I adore you. Will you marry me?’ But would it have been chivalrous to do this, knowing O’Bane’s sentiments? We were two months on the road[120] before the matter reached its climax. And during that time—under an unspoken compact—neither of us made love to Sophie. And then, one night, I could bear it no longer. I saw the drawn and hungry look in my colleague’s eye as he watched her from the wings. I went up to him and whispered, ‘Old fellow, go in and win. She’s worthy of you.’ He understood me at once, and he pressed my hand. ‘Colly,’ he said, ‘you’re right. This can’t go on. Meet me after the show and come round to my rooms.’”

“She was as beautiful, as delicate, as adorable as you are, miss. It’s strange how these big secrets are communicated without anyone noticing. O’Bane and I exchanged glances, and we immediately understood. We didn’t say anything. We made no comments about her. We were completely considerate of each other’s feelings. We referred to her as ‘Miss Wiles’ and addressed her as ‘Miss Wiles.’ By the time we had been on the road for three weeks, I realized that if I hadn’t known O’Bane’s feelings, I would have gone to her and said, ‘Sophie, my darling, my angel, I love you, I adore you. Will you marry me?’ But would it have been honorable to do that, knowing how O’Bane felt? We were on the road for two months[120] before the situation reached its peak. And during that time—thanks to an unspoken agreement—neither of us pursued Sophie. Then, one night, I couldn’t take it anymore. I saw the longing and desperate look in my colleague’s eye as he watched her from the side. I approached him and whispered, ‘Old friend, go in and win her over. She deserves you.’ He understood immediately and squeezed my hand. ‘Colly,’ he said, ‘you’re right. This can’t continue. Meet me after the show and come to my place.’”

The old actor’s lips were trembling. He drew his chair nearer to my wife’s. “I cannot tell you of the heart-burning interview I had with my old friend that night. Each tried to give way to the other. It was very terrible, very moving. At length we decided that the only solution would be to put the matter to a hazard. We could not cut cards or throw dice. It seemed profane. We decided to play a game of chess. We set out the pieces and began. But at the end of a few moments it was apparent that each was trying to let the other win. ‘Stay,’ I said; ‘we must leave the verdict to impartial destiny, after all,’ and I rose. On the sideboard—as it might be here—was a large bowl of Gloire-de-Dijon roses. I took the largest bloom and said, ‘Terry, old boy, if there are an odd number of petals in this rose, she is yours. If an even number, I will pay her court.’ He agreed. Slowly and deliberately, petal by petal, I destroyed the beautiful bloom. There were fifty-eight petals. When Terry saw the last petal fall he turned white and swayed. I helped him[121] to the easy-chair and handed him a little grog. It was nearly dawn. Already the birds were twittering on the window-sill.”

The old actor's lips were shaking. He pulled his chair closer to my wife's. "I can't describe the emotionally charged conversation I had with my old friend that night. We each tried to give in to the other. It was really intense, very moving. Eventually, we decided the only way to sort it out was to leave it up to chance. We couldn't cut cards or roll dice. That felt wrong. So, we decided to play a game of chess. We set up the pieces and started. But after just a few moments, it became clear that each of us was trying to let the other win. 'Hold on,' I said; 'we should let impartial fate decide this, after all,' and I stood up. On the sideboard—just like it might be here—was a big bowl of Gloire-de-Dijon roses. I picked the largest flower and said, 'Terry, my friend, if this rose has an odd number of petals, she’s yours. If it has an even number, I’ll pursue her.' He agreed. Slowly and carefully, I plucked off the petals one by one from the beautiful flower. There were fifty-eight petals. When Terry saw the last petal drop, he turned pale and swayed. I helped him to the armchair and handed him a little drink. It was almost dawn. The birds were already chirping on the window sill."

He turned and gazed at the window as though even now the magic of that early morning was upon him.

He turned and looked out the window as if the magic of that early morning was still with him.

“The dawn was clear for me, but for my friend how dark and foreboding! Or so it seemed to both of us at that hour. But, as Mahomet said, ‘With women, life is a condition of flux.’ At eleven o’clock that morning I was on my bended knees to Sophie. I poured out all my pent-up feelings of the two months. There are some things too sacred to repeat even to those who are—dear to us.”

"The dawn felt bright to me, but for my friend, it seemed so dark and ominous! Or at least, that’s how it felt to both of us at that moment. But, as Muhammad said, 'With women, life is always changing.' At eleven o’clock that morning, I was on my knees in front of Sophie. I expressed all my bottled-up emotions from the past two months. Some things are too precious to share, even with those we care about."

He gasped and, stretching out his arm, poured out another glass of the Chartreuse.

He gasped and, extending his arm, poured another glass of the Chartreuse.

“She refused me, or if she did not actually refuse me—indeed, she did not; she was sympathetic, almost loving, but so—indeterminate that I was almost driven to a frenzy of despair. When one is young, one is like that. One must have all, and at once, or go crazy with despair. For a week I courted her day and night, and I could not make her decide. She liked me, but she did not love me. At the end of that time, I went to O’Bane, and I said, ‘Old man, it is your call. My part is played.’ Under great pressure from me he consented to enter the lists, and I withheld my hand as he had done. Even now the memory of that week of anguish when I knew that my greatest friend was making love to my adored is almost unbearable. At the end of the week he came to me and said, ‘Old boy,[122] I don’t know how I stand. She likes me, but I hardly think she loves me.’ I will not burden you with the chronicle of our strange actions which followed. We decided that as the question was identical it should be an open fight in a fair field, otherwise, between us, we should lose her altogether. We would both pay court to her wherever and whenever the opportunity occurred. And we would do so without animosity or ill-will. The tour lasted three months, and I knew that O’Bane was winning. There was no question about it. He was the favorite. Every minute I was expecting to hear the dread glad tidings. And then a strange thing happened.”

“She turned me down, or if she didn’t actually turn me down—she didn’t; she was understanding, almost affectionate, but so vague that I was driven to the brink of despair. When you’re young, you feel that way. You want it all, and you want it now, or you feel like you’ll go crazy with hopelessness. For a week, I chased her day and night, and I couldn’t get her to make a choice. She liked me, but she didn’t love me. At the end of that week, I went to O’Bane and said, ‘Old man, it's your decision. I’ve done my part.’ After a lot of pressure from me, he agreed to step up, and I held back just like he had. Even now, I can hardly bear to remember that week of torment when I knew my closest friend was trying to win over the woman I adored. At the end of the week, he came to me and said, ‘Old boy,[122] I’m not sure where I stand. She likes me, but I don’t think she loves me.’ I won’t burden you with the details of our unusual actions that followed. We decided that since the situation was the same, it should be a fair competition between us; otherwise, we might lose her completely. We would both pursue her whenever and wherever the chance arose. And we would do so without any hostility or bad feelings. The journey lasted three months, and I could tell O’Bane was winning. There was no doubt about it. He was the favorite. Every minute, I was bracing myself to hear the dreaded good news. And then something strange happened.”

He leant back in his chair and passed his hands through his hair with a graceful gesture.

He leaned back in his chair and ran his hands through his hair with a smooth motion.

“An uncle in Australia died and left O’Bane an enormous fortune. He was rich beyond the dreams of avarice. The company all knew of it, and were delighted, all—all except one person.”

“An uncle in Australia died and left O’Bane a huge fortune. He was richer than anyone could ever imagine. Everyone in the company knew about it and was thrilled—everyone except for one person.”

He glanced towards my wife, and sighed.

He looked over at my wife and sighed.

“I have lived a good many years, and yet I seem to find the heart of woman as unfathomable, as unexplorable as ever. They are to me the magic casements opening on the night. There is no limit ... every subtle human experience is capable of endless variation. Sophie refused to marry O’Bane because people would think she married him for his money. The anguish of those last weeks I shall never forget. She definitely refused him, and I was torn between my love for O’Bane and my love for Sophie. I can say with perfect truth—literal[123] truth—that the fortune killed O’Bane. When we arrived in London, he began to squander. He drank, gambled, and led a depraved life, all because the woman he loved would not marry him. In the spring he left the company and took a house in town. It became the happy hunting-ground of loose characters. It is needless to say that if Sophie wouldn’t marry him, there were plenty of other women willing to marry a young millionaire. He became entangled with a fast and pretty creature called Annabel Peacock. He married her, and in the following year they had a child.”

“I’ve lived a good number of years, and yet I find the heart of a woman as mysterious and unsearchable as ever. They feel to me like magical windows opening up to the night. There are no limits... every subtle human experience can take countless forms. Sophie refused to marry O’Bane because people would think she married him for his money. I’ll never forget the pain of those last weeks. She firmly rejected him, and I was caught between my love for O’Bane and my love for Sophie. I can say with absolute honesty—literal[123] truth—that the fortune destroyed O’Bane. When we got to London, he started to waste it all. He drank, gambled, and lived a reckless life, all because the woman he loved wouldn’t marry him. In the spring, he left our group and moved into a house in town. It became a playground for shady characters. It’s needless to say that if Sophie wouldn’t marry him, there were plenty of other women ready to marry a young millionaire. He got involved with a flashy and attractive woman named Annabel Peacock. He married her, and the following year they had a child.”

The fire crackled on the hearth; my wife did not take her eyes from the old actor’s face. A black cat strolled leisurely across the room and stretched itself before the fire. He continued:

The fire crackled in the fireplace; my wife didn't take her eyes off the old actor's face. A black cat wandered casually across the room and stretched in front of the fire. He went on:

“It was then that I experienced an entirely novel vision of woman’s character. Sophie, who would not marry O’Bane because he was rich, and who shivered with disgust in the presence of Annabel Peacock, developed an amazing affection and interest for their child. We were out again in the Capacity Company. I had her all to myself. I laid siege to her heart. I was patient, tactful, importunate, imploring, passionate. But it was all no good, my boy ... no good at all. Heigho! would you believe it?—for ten years of my life from that date I was that woman’s slave, and she was the slave of Terry’s child. Company after company I joined in order to be with her. I gave up good parts. I sacrificed leads, and in fact I even accepted a walk-on—anything to be with Sophie. Sophie, who[124] would not listen to me, who treated me like a little pet, to run hither and thither, and who spent all her money and time on toys and clothes for Terry’s child. Would you believe it?”

“It was then that I had a completely new perspective on a woman's character. Sophie, who wouldn’t marry O’Bane because he was wealthy, and who cringed at the sight of Annabel Peacock, developed a surprising love and interest for their kid. We were out again with the Capacity Company. I had her all to myself. I tried to win her heart. I was patient, thoughtful, persistent, begging, and passionate. But it didn’t work, my friend... not at all. Can you believe it?—for ten years from that point, I was that woman’s servant, and she was a servant to Terry’s child. I joined one company after another just to be near her. I turned down great roles. I sacrificed leading parts and even took on bit parts—anything to be with Sophie. Sophie, who[124] wouldn’t listen to me, who treated me like a little pet, running around everywhere, and who spent all her money and time on toys and clothes for Terry’s child. Can you believe it?”

To my surprise, my wife spoke for the first time. She said: “Yes.”

To my surprise, my wife spoke for the first time. She said: “Yes.”

Brancker looked at her keenly, and nodded.

Brancker studied her closely and nodded.

“Yes. In any affair between a man and a woman, a man finds himself at a disadvantage. Mademoiselle, you see, understands. Women have all kinds of mysterious intuitions and senses which we wot not of. She is armed at every point. She has more resources. She is better-equipped than man. Sophie even made a friend of Annabel. She wrote her loving letters and called her ‘my dearest.’ For you must know that two years after his marriage my old friend Terry O’Bane went under. He awakened one night feeling ill; he groped in a chest where he usually kept a flask of brandy. He took a gulp. The liquid he drew into his throat was pure liquid ammonia which Annabel had been using for photographic work. She was a keen amateur photographer. He rushed out into the street in his pajamas, and died in the arms of a policeman at the corner.”

“Yes. In any relationship between a man and a woman, a man finds himself at a disadvantage. Mademoiselle, you see, understands. Women have all sorts of mysterious intuitions and senses that we aren’t aware of. She is prepared for everything. She has more resources. She is better equipped than a man. Sophie even became friends with Annabel. She wrote her affectionate letters and called her ‘my dearest.’ You should know that two years after his marriage, my old friend Terry O’Bane passed away. He woke up one night feeling unwell; he fumbled around in a chest where he usually kept a bottle of brandy. He took a swig. The liquid he swallowed was pure ammonia that Annabel had been using for her photography. She was an enthusiastic amateur photographer. He ran out into the street in his pajamas and died in the arms of a police officer on the corner.”

The horror of this episode was written plainly in the old man’s face. He delivered it with a kind of dramatic despair, as though he knew it had to be told and he could not control himself. Then he seemed to fall to pieces, and lay huddled at the back of his chair. I looked at Alice furtively, and I could see[125] a tear swimming on the brink of her eye. It was some moments before he could continue.

The shock of this situation was clear on the old man’s face. He spoke with a kind of dramatic despair, as if he realized it had to be shared and he couldn’t hold back. Then he seemed to break down, curling up in the back of his chair. I glanced at Alice secretly, and I noticed a tear hovering at the edge of her eye. It took him a few moments before he was able to continue.

“These were all the best years of my life, mes enfants, when my powers were at their highest. My old friend Toole offered me a good part in London. He said to me, ‘Brancker, old man, you’re wasting yourself in the provinces. Come to town and take a lead.’ I could only press his hand and thank him. In another week or two I was on the road again with Sophie. As the years went by she became more and more absorbed by Terry’s unattractive child, and more and more distressed concerning it. For you must know that in spite of his profligate life, Terry still had left a considerable fortune, and Annabel continued to live in the same way. And it was the worst possible atmosphere to bring a child up in. Annabel was kind to the child in a spasmodic way, passionate and unreliable. She would pet it and coax it, and buy it expensive toys and dresses, and then suddenly neglect or scold it. Sophie knew this, and all the time she could spare she went to London and tried to help the situation. She humored and flattered Annabel, who was quite manageable if you treated her like this, and she did what she could to influence the early training of the child for good. But, as you may imagine, the little minx grew up the spit and image of her mother. She was vain, fickle, and spoilt. By the time she was ten she thought of nothing but her looks and her frocks; and she was indeed a very pretty child. She had all the prettiness of her mother, with something of her father’s grace and[126] charm. She was encouraged to amuse the vulgar people who came to the house, and she was allowed to listen to all the loose talk, and to sit up to any hour she liked, unless Annabel happened to be in a contrary mood, when she would slap the child and lock her in her room.

“These were all the best years of my life, mes enfants, when my powers were at their highest. My old friend Toole offered me a great role in London. He said to me, ‘Brancker, old man, you’re wasting your talent in the provinces. Come to town and take the lead.’ I could only shake his hand and thank him. In another week or two, I was back on the road with Sophie. As the years went by, she became increasingly fixated on Terry’s unattractive child and more distressed about it. You see, despite his reckless lifestyle, Terry had left behind a considerable fortune, and Annabel continued to live lavishly. It was the worst possible environment to raise a child in. Annabel was inconsistently kind to the child, being both passionate and unreliable. She would shower it with affection, expensive toys, and dresses, only to suddenly ignore or scold it. Sophie recognized this, and whenever she could, she went to London to try to improve the situation. She indulged and complimented Annabel, who was fairly easy to manage with this approach, and did her best to positively influence the child's early upbringing. But as you can imagine, the little minx grew up to be the spitting image of her mother. She was vain, fickle, and spoiled. By the time she was ten, all she cared about was her looks and her dresses; and she was indeed a very pretty child. She had all her mother’s beauty, mixed with a bit of her father’s grace and charm. She was encouraged to entertain the tacky guests who came to the house, allowed to listen to all the inappropriate conversations, and stay up as late as she wished, unless Annabel happened to be in a bad mood, in which case she would slap the child and lock her in her room.

“‘Aunt Sophie,’ as she called her, was a favorite with Lucy, but only, I’m afraid, because ‘Aunt Sophie’ gave her expensive toys, and lavished her love persistently upon the child. She wrote to her nearly every day, wherever she happened to be, and sent her little gifts.”

“‘Aunt Sophie,’ as she called her, was a favorite with Lucy, but unfortunately, it was mostly because ‘Aunt Sophie’ gave her expensive toys and constantly showered her with love. She wrote to her almost every day, no matter where she was, and sent her small gifts.”

The old man mopped his forehead. He was evidently laboring under the severe strain which the invoking of these memories put upon him. He walked to the sideboard and poured himself out a glass of water, into which he poured—an as after-thought—a tiny drop of rum. After taking two long, meditative gulps, he resumed his seat. He seemed to have forgotten all about our presence. He was living in the past. But suddenly he turned to my wife and said:

The old man wiped his forehead. He was clearly struggling with the intense pressure that recalling these memories was putting on him. He walked over to the sideboard and poured himself a glass of water, adding a small splash of rum as an afterthought. After taking two long, thoughtful sips, he sat back down. He seemed to have completely forgotten we were there. He was lost in the past. But suddenly, he turned to my wife and said:

“I have many of the beautiful frocks which Sophie made for little Lucy. They have come down to me. If it would not bore you to call one afternoon, mademoiselle, I could show you some that might interest you.” There was a strange, eager appeal in his voice. It seemed a matter of tremendous moment that Alice should go and inspect the frocks. My heart bled for him. “Of course she will go,” I thought, but to my surprise, she said nothing. She just looked at him with[127] that queer, watchful expression that women alone are capable of. Perhaps it is part of what the old chap referred to—their equipment. She toyed with the chain on her frock, and his eye meditated her movements. He hesitated, and then rather nervously proceeded, as though talking to himself.

“I have many lovely dresses that Sophie made for little Lucy. They’ve been passed down to me. If it wouldn’t bore you to come over one afternoon, mademoiselle, I could show you some that you might find interesting.” There was an odd, eager urgency in his voice. It seemed really important that Alice go and check out the dresses. My heart went out to him. “Of course she will go,” I thought, but to my surprise, she didn’t say anything. She just looked at him with that strange, watchful expression that only women can have. Maybe it’s part of what the old guy was talking about—their instinct. She fiddled with the chain on her dress, and his gaze followed her movements. He hesitated, then spoke rather nervously, as if talking to himself.

“Frocks! What a part they play in our lives. Carlyle was right. Sophie was extraordinarily clever with her needle. She had a genius for combining materials. Her theatrical experience helped her. She made the most alluring frocks. The child adored ‘Aunt Sophie’s’ frocks. They always looked so striking and so professional. The crisis in my life, and which I am about to tell you of, was indeed occasioned by one of the frocks which Sophie made for Lucy. It came about in this way.”

“Dresses! They really have a significant impact on our lives. Carlyle was spot on. Sophie was incredibly skilled with her needle. She had a talent for mixing materials. Her background in theater was a huge advantage. She created the most captivating dresses. The little girl loved ‘Aunt Sophie’s’ dresses. They always looked so stunning and so polished. The turning point in my life, which I’m about to share with you, was definitely caused by one of the dresses that Sophie made for Lucy. Here’s how it happened.”

He paused again, and tapped the top of the table with his beautiful white hands.

He paused again and tapped the top of the table with his slim, elegant hands.

“That last year—that year when Lucy reached her tenth birthday—the excesses in Annabel’s house reached their zenith. The place became notorious. Annabel had taken to herself a drunken lord, Lord Starborough. He was a dissipated young roué. He rather took a fancy to Lucy, and he spoilt her in the same way that Annabel did. We heard stories of the goings on. The child was taken to houses to dance. I believe she was even taught to put on rouge. There was a rich family called the Arkwrights, who also had children, and who lived a similar life. These children were Lucy’s great friends. They vied with each other[128] in their infantile snobbery. The parents gave elaborate parties and tried to outshine each other in the lavishness of their entertainment, and the overdressing of the children. It was very, very painful. Even I, whose life was being wrecked by Sophie’s adulation of this child, felt sorry. My heart bled for my old friend’s daughter.

“That last year—that year when Lucy turned ten—things at Annabel’s house reached an all-time high. The place became infamous. Annabel had taken up with a drunken lord, Lord Starborough. He was a reckless young playboy. He seemed to take a liking to Lucy and spoiled her just like Annabel did. We heard stories about what was happening there. The child was taken to different houses to dance. I believe she was even taught to wear makeup. There was a wealthy family called the Arkwrights, who also had children and lived a similar lifestyle. These kids were Lucy’s close friends. They competed with each other in their childish snobbishness. The parents hosted extravagant parties and tried to outdo each other in how lavish their entertainment was, as well as how overdressed the children were. It was very, very painful. Even I, whose life was being shattered by Sophie’s admiration of this child, felt sorry. My heart ached for my old friend’s daughter.”

“We had a long tour that autumn, Sophie and I. We wore out in ‘The Woman Who Failed.’ Sophie had a lead, but I was only playing the part of a butler. It was a long and trying tour up North. The weather was very bitter. There was a good deal of sickness, and our chief was a hard man. Early in December Sophie caught a cold which rapidly developed into bronchitis. She had a narrow escape. She was, however, only out of the bill for ten days. She insisted on returning and struggling on. The tour was to end on Christmas Eve. One day she had a letter from Lucy. I remember the exact words to this day. ‘Dear Aunt Sophie, do make me a lovely frock for Christmas Eve. The Arkwrights are having a lovely ball, and I know Irene is having a gold and green, with a sparkling veil. Your loving Lucy.’

“We had a long tour that autumn, Sophie and I. We wore ourselves out in ‘The Woman Who Failed.’ Sophie had a lead role, but I was only playing the butler. It was a long and challenging tour up North. The weather was really harsh. There was quite a bit of illness, and our boss was a tough guy. Early in December, Sophie caught a cold that quickly turned into bronchitis. She had a close call. However, she was only off the schedule for ten days. She insisted on coming back and pushing through. The tour was set to end on Christmas Eve. One day she got a letter from Lucy. I remember the exact words to this day. ‘Dear Aunt Sophie, please make me a lovely dress for Christmas Eve. The Arkwrights are having a beautiful ball, and I know Irene is wearing a gold and green one, with a sparkling veil. Your loving Lucy.’”

“When Sophie got this letter she smiled. She was happy. She was always happy when doing a service. Ah! me.... For nearly a week she thought and dreamt about the frock she was going to make for Lucy for the Arkwrights’ party. She knew what the child wanted—a frock to outshine all the others. Then another story reached us. I have forgotten what it was:[129] some distressing record of these Arkwright people. One night after the show she sent for me. I could tell she was very agitated. She clutched my arm, and said, ‘Old man, I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to make Lucy a frock which will outshine all the others. And it will be just a plain white frock, with no adornment of any sort. Just think of it,—amongst all those vulgar, overdressed children, one little girl, as pretty as Lucy,—in plain white. And they will be bound to appreciate it. It will tell. And perhaps she will realize—what it means. Good taste and refinement will always tell against vulgarity.’ I applauded Sophie’s idea, and I went with her to get the material. But she fainted in the shop. During those last few days I began to realize that Sophie was very ill. She was simply living on her nervous force, keeping herself going in order to complete the tour, and to deliver Lucy’s frock in time for the ball.

“When Sophie received this letter, she smiled. She was happy. She always felt good when helping others. Ah! For nearly a week, she thought and dreamed about the dress she was going to make for Lucy for the Arkwrights’ party. She knew what the child wanted—a dress that would stand out among all the others. Then, we heard another story. I’ve forgotten what it was: [129] some troubling news about the Arkwrights. One night after the show, she called for me. I could see she was really upset. She grabbed my arm and said, ‘Old man, I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to make Lucy a dress that will outshine all the others. And it will be just a simple white dress, with no embellishments at all. Just imagine it—among all those flashy, overdressed kids, one little girl, as lovely as Lucy—in plain white. They will definitely notice it. It will make a statement. And maybe she will understand what it means. Good taste and elegance will always stand out against tackiness.’ I supported Sophie’s idea, and I went with her to buy the fabric. But she collapsed in the shop. During those last few days, I started to realize that Sophie was very sick. She was just running on her nerves, pushing herself to finish the tour and deliver Lucy’s dress in time for the ball.”

“Our last journey back was from Nottingham. We arrived in London at five o’clock on Christmas Eve. I was in a fever of dread. I believed that Sophie was dying. She kept swaying in the train as though she was going to drop. Her face was deadly-white, her eyes unnaturally bright, and her fingers were still busy on the frock. So absorbed had I been in Sophie’s affairs, I had made no arrangements about lodgings in town. Neither had she. But my old friend, Joe Gadgers, seeing my distress, said, ‘Old boy, leave it to me. I know a snug little place where they’ll take you in. I’m not stopping. I’m going straight through to Hastings.’[130] I thanked my old friend and embraced him. When we got to Euston, we got Sophie into a four-wheeled cab, and Joe Gadgers came with us to arrange the introduction. I hardly noticed where the lodgings were—somewhere in Clapham, I think. We arrived there, and a good lady took us in without hesitation. We put Sophie to bed. She was almost delirious, but still the frock was not quite finished. Joe left us, and I sat by her bedside, watching her busy fingers. I knew it was useless to protest. The clock on the mantelpiece ticked, and outside the snow was beginning to fall.”

“Our last trip back was from Nottingham. We arrived in London at five o’clock on Christmas Eve. I was overwhelmed with dread. I thought Sophie was dying. She kept swaying in the train as if she was going to collapse. Her face was pale, her eyes unnaturally bright, and her fingers were still working on the dress. I had been so focused on Sophie’s situation that I hadn’t arranged any places to stay in the city. Neither had she. But my old friend, Joe Gadgers, seeing my distress, said, ‘Don’t worry, I’ve got this. I know a cozy little spot that will take you in. I’m not stopping; I’m heading straight through to Hastings.’ [130] I thanked my old friend and hugged him. When we got to Euston, we got Sophie into a four-wheeled cab, and Joe came with us to help with the introduction. I barely noticed where the lodgings were—somewhere in Clapham, I think. We got there, and a kind lady took us in without hesitation. We put Sophie to bed. She was almost delirious, but the dress still wasn’t quite finished. Joe left us, and I sat by her bedside, watching her busy fingers. I knew it was pointless to protest. The clock on the mantelpiece ticked, and outside, the snow was starting to fall.”

Colin Brancker stood up, and suddenly picked up the little white frock from the back of the chair. He held it in his arms reverently and tenderly. His voice was strong and resonant. He stood there, and acted the scene vividly before our eyes.

Colin Brancker stood up and suddenly grabbed the little white dress from the back of the chair. He held it in his arms with care and affection. His voice was strong and clear. He stood there and acted out the scene vividly in front of us.

“At ten minutes to seven I left the house, holding the frock in my arms. I rushed out without a hat, without a coat. I flew along the street, calling out for a cab like a madman.... At last I got one. I told the driver to drive like the furies to the address I gave him in Kensington. In the cab I stamped my feet and rocked the dress in my arms as though it were a fevered child. I don’t know how we got there. It seemed an eternity. I flung into the house, calling out, ‘Lucy! Lucy!’ I found her in the drawing-room. She was dressed in a flaming orange and silver dress, with a sparkling tiara in her hair. She was looking in a mirror and putting finishing touches to her hair.[131] She cried out when she saw me: ‘Hullo! I thought Aunt Sophie had forgotten me. I’ve hired a frock from Roco’s.’ ‘Child,’ I said, ‘your Aunt Sophie has been working out her life’s blood for you. Here is the frock.’ She grabbed it and examined it. ‘Frock!’ she said. ‘It looks more like a nightdress. I don’t want the beastly old thing’; and she threw it across the room. I believe at that moment I could have struck the child. I was blind with fury. Fortunately, I remembered in time that she was my old friend Terry O’Bane’s daughter. I picked up the frock. ‘Ungrateful child!’ I exclaimed. ‘You don’t know what you’re doing. You’re murdering an ideal. You’re killing your aunt.’ She tossed her insolent head and actually pressed the bell for the butler to see me out. Just like a grown-up person. Dazed and baffled, I clutched the little white frock and staggered out into the street. The night was dark, and the snow was still falling. Christmas bells were beginning to peal.... I plunged on and on, my heart beating against my ribs. People stared at me, but I was too distressed to care. How could I go back to Sophie with the insulting message? Suddenly, at the corner of Hyde Park, a most appalling realization flashed through my mind. I had made no note of the address of the lodgings where Sophie and I were staying!... God in heaven! What was I to do? The only man who could help me, my old friend, Joe Gadgers, had gone to Hastings. What could I do? Could I go to the police and say, ‘Will you help me to find the address of some lodgings where an actress is[132] staying? I think it’s somewhere round about Clapham. I don’t know the name of the landlady, or the name of the street, or the number?’ They would have thought I was mad. Perhaps I was mad. Should I go back to Lucy? The child wouldn’t know.... And all this time Sophie was dying. Ah! merciful God! perhaps she would die. If she died before I found her, she would die in the happy belief that the frock had been worn. Her last hours would be blessed with dreams, visions of purity and joy ... whilst I ... I should have no place in them, perhaps ... but I, too, after all, I’d suffered for her sake. Who knows?... Who know...?”

“At ten minutes to seven, I left the house, clutching the dress in my arms. I rushed out without a hat or coat. I dashed down the street, yelling for a cab like a madman... Finally, I got one. I told the driver to speed to the address I gave him in Kensington. In the cab, I stamped my feet and rocked the dress in my arms as if it were a feverish child. I don’t know how we got there. It felt like an eternity. I burst into the house, calling out, ‘Lucy! Lucy!’ I found her in the drawing room. She was wearing a bright orange and silver dress with a sparkling tiara in her hair. She was looking in the mirror, adding the finishing touches to her hair.[131] She exclaimed when she saw me: ‘Hey! I thought Aunt Sophie had forgotten me. I’ve rented a dress from Roco’s.’ ‘Kid,’ I said, ‘your Aunt Sophie has been working herself to the bone for you. Here’s the dress.’ She snatched it and looked it over. ‘Dress!’ she said. ‘It looks more like a nightgown. I don’t want that ugly thing’; then she tossed it across the room. At that moment, I seriously considered striking her. I was blinded by rage. Thankfully, I remembered she was my old friend Terry O’Bane’s daughter. I picked up the dress. ‘Ungrateful kid!’ I shouted. ‘You have no idea what you’re doing. You’re ruining an ideal. You’re killing your aunt.’ She tossed her head defiantly and pressed the bell for the butler to show me out. Just like an adult. Dazed and confused, I clutched the little white dress and staggered out onto the street. The night was dark, and the snow was still falling. Christmas bells were starting to ring... I kept moving, my heart pounding in my chest. People stared at me, but I was too upset to care. How could I go back to Sophie with such an insulting message? Suddenly, at the corner of Hyde Park, a terrifying realization hit me. I hadn’t noted the address of the lodgings where Sophie and I were staying!... Oh my God! What was I supposed to do? The only person who could help me, my old friend Joe Gadgers, had gone to Hastings. What could I do? Should I go to the police and say, ‘Can you help me find the address of some lodgings where an actress is[132] staying? I think it’s somewhere around Clapham. I don’t know the landlady's name or the street name or the number’? They would’ve thought I was crazy. Maybe I was crazy. Should I go back to Lucy? The kid wouldn’t know... And all this time, Sophie was in distress. Oh! merciful God! what if she passed away? If she died before I found her, she would die thinking the dress had been worn. Her last moments would be filled with dreams, visions of purity and joy... while I... I would have no part in them, perhaps... but I, too, after all, had suffered for her. Who knows?... Who knows...?”

His voice broke off in a low sob. I leant forward watching his face, racked with anguish. The room was extraordinarily still.... I dared not look at Alice, but I was conscious of the pearly sheen of her frock under the lamp. Away in the distance one could hear the rumble of the traffic on the High-road. The remorseless tick of the clock was the only sound in the room. Once I thought it ticked louder, and then I realized that it was some one tapping gently at the door. The door opened a little way, and against the dim light in the passage appeared the gaunt face of the old serving-woman, phantom-like, unreal....

His voice cracked with a soft sob. I leaned forward, watching his face twisted with pain. The room was incredibly quiet... I didn't dare look at Alice, but I noticed the shiny fabric of her dress under the lamp. In the distance, you could hear the rumble of traffic on the main road. The relentless ticking of the clock was the only sound in the room. At one point, I thought it ticked louder, but then I realized someone was gently tapping at the door. The door opened slightly, and against the faint light in the hallway appeared the thin face of the old serving woman, ghostly and unreal...

“Excuse me, sir.” She peered into the room. The old actor gazed at her with unseeing eyes. He stood with one hand on the back of the chair, and across the other arm lay the white frock; a dignified and pathetic figure.

“Excuse me, sir.” She looked into the room. The old actor stared at her with blank eyes. He stood with one hand on the back of the chair, and the white dress draped over his other arm; a dignified yet sad figure.

“I’m sorry to trouble you, sir.”

“I’m sorry to bother you, sir.”

[133]

[133]

“Yes, Mrs. Windsor?”

“Yep, Mrs. Windsor?”

“My little niece ’as just called. I can’t find it anywhere—that little frock I made for ’er last week. I put it in the chest. I thought perhaps you might ’ave.... Oh! there it is, sir. Do you mind—? Thank you very much, sir. I’m sorry to have disturbed the company.”

“My little niece just called. I can’t find that little dress I made for her last week anywhere. I thought I put it in the chest. I thought maybe you might have seen it.... Oh! There it is, sir. Do you mind—? Thank you very much, sir. I’m sorry to have interrupted everyone.”

In the sanctuary of our bedroom that night, my wife said:

In the safe space of our bedroom that night, my wife said:

“Did you really believe that that writing on the photograph was by Henry Irving?”

“Did you really think that the writing on the photograph was by Henry Irving?”

“My dear,” I answered, “when their careers are finished, the painter, the author, the architect or the sculptor may point to this or that, and say, ‘Lo! this is my handiwork.’ But to the actor nothing remains but—memories. Their permanence lies in the memories of those who loved them. Are we to begrudge them all the riches of imagination? After all, what is the line of demarcation between what we call reality and what we call imagination? Is not the imagery invoked by Shelley when he sings of dubious myths as real a fact as the steel rivets in the Forth Bridge? What is reality? Indeed, what is life?”

“My dear,” I replied, “when the careers of the painter, the author, the architect, or the sculptor come to an end, they can point to this or that and say, ‘Look! This is my work.’ But for the actor, nothing is left except—memories. Their legacy depends on the recollections of those who cherished them. Should we deny them all the wealth of imagination? After all, where do we draw the line between what we call reality and what we call imagination? Isn’t the imagery created by Shelley when he sings of questionable myths just as real as the steel rivets in the Forth Bridge? What is reality? In fact, what is life?”

“I don’t know what life is,” answered my wife, switching off the light. “But I know what you are. You’re a dear old—perfect old—BOOB!”

“I don’t know what life is,” my wife replied, turning off the light. “But I know what you are. You’re a dear old—perfect old—BOOB!”

“Alice, what do you mean?” I said.

“Alice, what are you talking about?” I asked.

She laughed softly.

She chuckled gently.

“Women are ‘equipped,’ you know,” she replied enigmatically, and insisted on going to sleep.

“Women are ‘equipped,’ you know,” she replied mysteriously, and insisted on going to sleep.

[134]

[134]


[135]

[135]

A GOOD ACTION

[136]

[136]


[137]

[137]

A GOOD ACTION

It is undoubtedly true that the majority of us perform the majority of our actions through what are commonly known as mixed motives.

It’s definitely true that most of us do things for a mix of reasons.

It would certainly have been quite impossible for Mr. Edwin Pothecary to analyze the concrete impulse which eventually prompted him to perform his good action. It may have been a natural revolt from the somewhat petty and cramped punctilio of his daily life; his drab home life, the bickering, wearing, grasping routine of the existence of fish-and-chips dispenser. A man who earns his livelihood by buying fish and potatoes in the cheapest market, and selling them in the Waterloo Road cannot afford to indulge his altruistic fancies to any lavish extent. It is true that the business of Mr. Edwin Pothecary was a tolerably successful one—he employed three assistants and a boy named Scales who was not so much an assistant as an encumbrance and wholesale plate-smasher. Mr. Pothecary engaged him because he thought his name seemed appropriate to the fish-trade. In a weak moment he pandered to this sentimental whim, another ingredient in the strange composition which influences us to do this, that, and the other. But it was not by pandering to whims of this nature that Mr. Pothecary had built up this progressive and odoriferous business with its gay shop[138] front of blue and brown tiles. It was merely a minor lapse. In the fish-and-chip trade one has to be keen, pushful, self-reliant, ambidexterous, a student of human nature, forbearing, far-seeing, imaginative, courageous, something of a controversialist with a streak of fatalism as pronounced as that of a high-priest in a Brahmin temple. It is better, moreover, to have an imperfect nasal organism, and to be religious.

It would definitely have been impossible for Mr. Edwin Pothecary to pinpoint the exact motivation that finally led him to do something good. It might have been a natural reaction against the rather small and restricted details of his everyday life; his dull home life, the constant arguing, the exhausting, greedy routine of working as a fish-and-chips seller. A man who makes his living by buying fish and potatoes at the lowest prices and selling them on Waterloo Road can't really afford to indulge in charitable fantasies too much. It's true that Mr. Edwin Pothecary’s business was reasonably successful—he had three employees and a boy named Scales, who was more of a burden and a frequent plate-breaker than a real assistant. Mr. Pothecary hired him because he thought his name fit the fish trade. In a moment of weakness, he gave in to this sentimental whim, which was just another factor in the strange mix that drives us to do this, that, and the other. But it wasn't by indulging these kinds of whims that Mr. Pothecary built up his thriving and smelly business with its cheerful shop front of blue and brown tiles. That was just a minor mistake. In the fish-and-chip business, you need to be alert, ambitious, self-sufficient, versatile, a keen observer of people, patient, far-sighted, imaginative, brave, a bit of a contrarian, and have a streak of fatalism as strong as that of a high priest in a Brahmin temple. Plus, it's better to have a less-than-perfect sense of smell and to be somewhat religious.

Edwin had all these qualities. Every day he went from Quince Villa at Buffington to London—forty minutes in the train—and back at night. On Sunday he took the wife and three children to the Methodist Chapel at the corner of the street to both morning and evening services. But even this religious observance does not give us a complete solution for the sudden prompting of an idea to do a good action. Edwin had attended chapel for fifty-two years and such an impulse had never occurred to him before. He may possibly have been influenced by some remark of the preacher, or was it that twinge of gout which set him thinking of the unwritten future? Had it anything to do with the Boy-Scout movement? Some one at some time had told him of an underlying idea—that every day in one’s life one should do one pure, good and unselfish action.

Edwin had all these qualities. Every day he commuted from Quince Villa at Buffington to London—forty minutes on the train—and back at night. On Sundays, he took his wife and three kids to the Methodist Chapel at the corner of the street for both morning and evening services. But even this religious practice doesn’t fully explain the sudden urge he felt to do something good. Edwin had been attending chapel for fifty-two years, and he had never experienced such an impulse before. He might have been influenced by something the preacher said, or maybe it was that twinge of gout that made him think about the unwritten future. Did it have anything to do with the Boy-Scout movement? Someone, at some point, had told him about a guiding principle—that every day in life, one should perform one pure, good, and selfless action.

Perhaps after all it was all due to the gayety of a spring morning. Certain it is that as he swung out of the garden gate on that morning in April something stirred in him. His round puffy face blinked heavenwards. Almond blossoms fluttered in the breeze above[139] the hedgerows. Larks were singing.... Suddenly his eye alighted upon the roof of the Peels’ hen-house opposite and Mr. Edwin Pothecary scowled. Lord! How he hated those people! The Peels were Pothecary’s bêtes-noires. Snobs! Pirates! Rotters!

Maybe it was just the excitement of a spring morning. What’s certain is that as he stepped out of the garden gate that April morning, something stirred inside him. His round, puffy face looked up to the sky. Almond blossoms danced in the breeze above[139] the hedgerows. Larks were singing... Suddenly, his gaze landed on the roof of the Peels’ hen-house across the way, and Mr. Edwin Pothecary frowned. Ugh! How he despised those people! The Peels were Pothecary’s bêtes-noires. Snobs! Thieves! Jerks!

The Peels’ villa was at least three times as big as the Pothecarys’. It was, in fact, not a villa at all. It was a “Court”—whatever that was. It was quite detached, with about fourteen rooms in all, a coach-house, a large garden, and two black sheds containing forty-five fowls, leading an intensive existence. The Pothecarys had five fowls which sometimes did and sometimes didn’t supply them with two or three eggs a day, but it was known that the Peels sent at least two hundred and fifty eggs to market every week, besides supplying their own table. Mr. Peel was a successful dealer in quills and bristles. His wife was the daughter of a post office official and they had three stuck up daughters who would have no truck at all with the Pothecarys. You may appreciate then the twinge of venom which marked the face of Edwin as he passed through his front gate and observed the distant roof of the Peels’ fowl-house. And still the almond blossoms nodded at him above the hedge. The larks sang.... After all, was it fair to hate any one because they were better off than oneself? Strange how these moods obsess one. The soft air caressed Edwin’s cheek. Little flecks of cloud scudded gayly into the suburban panorama. Small green shoots were appearing everywhere. One ought not to hate any one at all—of[140] course. It is absurd. So bad for oneself, apart from the others. One ought rather to be kind, forgiving, loving all mankind. Was that a lark or a thrush? He knew little about birds. Fish now!... A not entirely unsatisfactory business really the fried fish trade—when things went well. When customers were numerous and not too cantankerous. Quite easy to run, profitable. A boy came singing down the road. The villas clustered together more socially. There was a movement of spring life....

The Peels' house was at least three times larger than the Pothecarys'. In fact, it wasn't really a villa. It was a “Court”—whatever that meant. It was completely separate, with about fourteen rooms, a coach house, a large garden, and two black sheds housing forty-five chickens, living quite active lives. The Pothecarys had five chickens that sometimes supplied them with two or three eggs a day, but it was known that the Peels sold at least two hundred and fifty eggs at the market every week, in addition to what they consumed. Mr. Peel was a successful dealer in quills and bristles. His wife was the daughter of a post office employee, and they had three snobbish daughters who wouldn't associate with the Pothecarys at all. You can imagine the bitterness on Edwin's face as he passed through his front gate and saw the distant roof of the Peels' chicken coop. Yet, the almond blossoms waved at him above the hedge. The larks sang... After all, was it really fair to hate someone just because they were better off? It's strange how these feelings can take hold. The gentle breeze brushed Edwin's cheek. Little patches of clouds moved playfully across the suburban skyline. Small green shoots were popping up everywhere. One really shouldn't hate anyone at all—of course. It’s ridiculous. So detrimental to oneself, apart from anyone else. One should be kind, forgiving, and love all mankind. Was that a lark or a thrush? He didn’t know much about birds. Fish, now!... The fried fish business was actually not too bad when things went well. When there were enough customers and they weren't too difficult. Quite easy to manage and profitable. A boy came singing down the road. The houses were more closely grouped together. There was a sense of spring life in the air...

As Edwin turned the corner of the Station Road, the impulse crystallized. One good action. To-day he would perform one good, kind, unselfish, unadvertised action. No one should ever know of it. Just one to-day. Then perhaps one to-morrow. And so on; in time it might become a habit. That is how one progressed. He took his seat in the crowded third-class smoker and pretended to read his newspaper, but his mind was too actively engaged with the problems of his new resolution. How? When? Where? How does one do a definitely good action? What is the best way to go to work? One could, of course, just quietly slip some money into a poor-box if one could be found. But would this be very good and self-sacrificing? Who gets money put in a poor-box? Surely his own family were poor enough, as far as that went. But he couldn’t go back home and give his wife a sovereign. It would be advertising his charity, and he would look silly doing it. His business? He might turn up and say to his assistants: “Boys, you shall all have a day’s holiday.[141] We’ll shut up, and here’s your pay for the day.” Advertising again; besides, what about the hundreds of poor workers in the neighborhood who relied for their mid-day sustenance on “Pothecary’s Pride-of-the-Ocean Popular Plaice to Eat?” It would be cruel, cruel and—bad for business in the future. The public would lose confidence in that splendid gold-lettered tablet in the window which said “Cod, brill, halibut, plaice, pilchards always on hand. Eat them or take them away.”

As Edwin turned the corner onto Station Road, his decision took shape. Today he would do one good deed. Just one kind, selfless, and anonymous act. No one should ever know about it. Just one today. Maybe one tomorrow. And so on; eventually, it could become a habit. That's how you move forward. He sat down in the packed third-class smoking carriage and pretended to read his newspaper, but his mind was too consumed with the thoughts of his new resolution. How? When? Where? How does one do a genuinely good deed? What’s the best way to go about it? Of course, he could just quietly drop some money into a donation box if he could find one. But would that really be selfless? Who benefits from a donation box? Surely his own family was poor enough in their own way. But he couldn't go home and give his wife a sovereign. That would be boasting about his generosity, and he would look foolish doing it. As for his business? He could just show up and tell his workers: “Hey, you all get a day off. We’re closing up, and here’s your pay for the day.” More boasting; besides, what about the hundreds of needy workers nearby who depended on “Pothecary’s Pride-of-the-Ocean Popular Plaice to Eat” for their midday meals? That would be cruel—cruel and—bad for future business. The public would lose faith in that impressive gold-lettered sign in the window that said, “Cod, brill, halibut, plaice, pilchards always available. Eat in or take out.”

The latter sentence did not imply that if you took them away you did not eat them; it simply meant that you could either stand at the counter and eat them from a plate with the aid of a fork and your fingers (or at one of the wooden benches if you could find room—an unlikely contingency), alternatively you could wrap them up in a piece of newspaper and devour them without a fork at the corner of the street.

The latter sentence didn’t mean that if you took them away you didn’t eat them; it just meant that you could either stand at the counter and eat them from a plate using a fork and your fingers (or at one of the wooden benches if there was space—just not very likely), or you could wrap them in a piece of newspaper and eat them without a fork on the corner of the street.

No, it would not be a good action in any way to close the Popular Plaice to eat. Edwin came to the conclusion that to perform this act satisfactorily it were better to divorce the proceeding entirely from any connection with home or business. The two things didn’t harmonize. A good action must be a special and separate effort in an entirely different setting. He would take the day off himself and do it thoroughly.

No, it wouldn’t be a good idea at all to shut down the Popular Plaice for food. Edwin realized that to carry out this act properly, it was better to separate it completely from anything related to home or work. The two just didn’t mix. A good deed has to be a special and distinct effort in a totally different environment. He would take the day off himself and do it right.

Mr. Pothecary was known in the neighborhood of the Waterloo Road as “The Stinker,” a title easily earned by the peculiar qualities of his business and the obvious additional fact that a Pothecary was a chemist. He[142] was a very small man, bald-headed with yellowy-white side whiskers, a blue chin, a perambulating nostril with a large wart on the port side. He wore a square bowler hat which seemed to thrust out the protruding flaps of his large ears. His greeny-black clothes were always too large for him and ended in a kind of thick spiral above his square-toed boots. He always wore a flat white collar—more or less clean—and no tie. This minor defect was easily atoned for by a heavy silver chain on his waistcoat from which hung gold seals and ribbons connecting with watches, knives, and all kinds of ingenious appliances in his waistcoat pockets.

Mr. Pothecary was known in the neighborhood around Waterloo Road as “The Stinker,” a name he earned easily due to the strange nature of his business and the fact that a Pothecary was a chemist. He[142] was a very short man, bald with yellowish-white sideburns, a blue chin, and a noticeable nose with a large wart on the left side. He wore a square bowler hat that seemed to push out his big ears. His greenish-black clothes were always too big for him and ended in a thick curl above his square-toed boots. He always had on a flat white collar—more or less clean—and no tie. This small issue was easily compensated for by a heavy silver chain on his waistcoat, from which dangled gold seals and ribbons linked to watches, knives, and all sorts of clever gadgets in his waistcoat pockets.

The noble intention of his day was a little chilled on his arrival at the shop. In the first place, although customers were then arriving for breakfast, the boy Scales was slopping water over the front step. Having severely castigated the miscreant youth and prophesied that his chances of happiness in the life to come were about as remote as those of a dead dog-fish in the upper reaches of the Thames, he made his way through the customers to the room at the back, and there he met Dolling.

The noble intention of his day was slightly dampened upon his arrival at the shop. First of all, even though customers were coming in for breakfast, the boy Scales was splashing water all over the front step. After harshly reprimanding the troublesome kid and predicting that his chances of happiness in the afterlife were as likely as a dead dogfish in the upper Thames, he made his way through the customers to the room at the back, where he encountered Dolling.

Dolling was Edwin’s manager, and he cannot be overlooked. In the first place, he was remarkably like a fish himself. He had the same dull expressionless eyes and the drooping mouth and drooping mustache. Everything about him drooped and dripped. He was always wet. He wore a gray flannel shirt and no collar or tie. His braces, trousers, and hair all seemed the same color. He hovered in the background with a knife, and did[143] the cutting up and dressing. He had, moreover, all the taciturnity of a fish, and its peculiar ability for getting out of a difficulty. He never spoke. He simply looked lugubrious, and pointed at things with his knife. And yet Edwin knew that he was an excellent manager. For it must be observed that in spite of the gold-lettered board outside with its fanfare of cod, brill, halibut, plaice and pilchards, whatever the customer asked for, by the time it had passed through Dolling’s hand it was just fish. No nonsense about it at all. Just plain fish leveled with a uniform brown crust. If you asked for cod you got fish. If you asked for halibut you also got fish. Dolling was something of an artist.

Dolling was Edwin’s manager, and he definitely stood out. First off, he looked a lot like a fish himself. He had the same dull, expressionless eyes and a droopy mouth along with a drooping mustache. Everything about him seemed to sag and leak. He was always damp. He wore a gray flannel shirt with no collar or tie. His suspenders, pants, and hair all appeared to be the same color. He lingered in the background with a knife, doing the cutting and preparing. Plus, he had the same quiet demeanor as a fish, along with its unique knack for slipping out of tough situations. He never said a word; he just looked gloomy and pointed at things with his knife. And yet, Edwin knew he was a fantastic manager. It should be noted that despite the gold-lettered sign outside showcasing a fanfare of cod, brill, halibut, plaice, and pilchards, whatever the customer ordered, by the time it got through Dolling’s hands, it was just fish. No fuss about it. Just straight-up fish covered with a uniform brown crust. If you asked for cod, you got fish. If you asked for halibut, you also got fish. Dolling was quite the artist.

On this particular morning, as Edward entered the back room, Dolling was scratching the side of his head with the knife he used to cut up the fish; a sure sign that he was perplexed about something. It was not customary to exchange greetings in this business, and when he observed “the guv’nor” enter he just withdrew the knife from his hair and pointed it at a packing case on the side table. Edwin knew what this meant. He went up and pressed his flat nose against the chest of what looked like an over-worked amphibian that had been turned down by its own Trades Union. Edwin sneezed before he had had time to withdraw his nose.

On that particular morning, as Edward walked into the back room, Dolling was scratching the side of his head with the knife he used to cut the fish; a clear sign that he was confused about something. It wasn't normal to exchange greetings in this line of work, and when he saw “the boss” come in, he simply pulled the knife from his hair and pointed it at a packing case on the side table. Edwin understood what that meant. He stepped forward and pressed his flat nose against what looked like a tired amphibian that had been rejected by its own union. Edwin sneezed before he could pull his nose away.

“Yes, that’s a dud lot,” he said. And then suddenly an inspirational moment nearly overwhelmed him. Here was a chance. He would turn to Dolling and say:

“Yes, that’s a crappy lot,” he said. And then suddenly an inspiring moment nearly took over him. Here was an opportunity. He would turn to Dolling and say:

“Dolling, this fish is slightly tainted. We must[144] throw it away. We bought it at our risk. Yesterday morning when it arrived it was just all right, but keeping it in that hot room downstairs where you and your wife sleep has probably finished it. We mustn’t give it to our customers. It might poison them—ptomaine poison, you know ... eh, Dolling?” It would be a good action, a self-sacrificing action, eh? But when he glanced at the face of Dolling he knew that such an explosion would be unthinkable. It would be like telling a duck it mustn’t swim, or an artist that he mustn’t paint, or a boy on a beach that he mustn’t throw stones in the sea. It was the kind of job that Dolling enjoyed. In the course of a few hours he knew quite well that whatever he said, the mysterious and evil-smelling monster would be served out in dainty parcels of halibut, cod, brill, plaice, etc.

“Dolling, this fish is a bit off. We need to[144] throw it away. We bought it at our own risk. When it arrived yesterday morning, it was fine, but keeping it in that hot room downstairs where you and your wife sleep has probably ruined it. We can’t serve it to our customers. It could poison them—like food poisoning, you know ... right, Dolling?” It would be a good deed, a selfless thing to do, right? But when he looked at Dolling’s face, he knew that such a reaction would be unimaginable. It would be like telling a duck not to swim, or an artist not to paint, or a kid at the beach not to throw stones into the sea. It was exactly the kind of job that Dolling loved. In just a few hours, he knew very well that no matter what he said, the mysterious and foul-smelling fish would end up served in stylish portions of halibut, cod, brill, plaice, etc.

Business was no place for a good action. Too many others depended on it, were involved in it. Edwin went up to Dolling and shouted in his ear—he was rather deaf:

Business was no place for a good action. Too many other people depended on it and were involved in it. Edwin went up to Dolling and shouted in his ear—he was quite hard of hearing:

“I’m going out. I may not be back to-day.”

“I’m heading out. I might not be back today.”

Dolling stared at the wall. He appeared about as interested in the statement as a cod might be that had just been informed that a Chinese coolie had won the Calcutta sweep-stake. Edwin crept out of the shop abashed. He felt horribly uncomfortable. He heard some one mutter: “Where’s The Stinker off to?” and he realized how impossible it would be to explain to any one there present that he was off to do a good action.

Dolling stared at the wall. He looked as interested in the statement as a cod would be if it just found out that a Chinese laborer had won the Calcutta sweepstakes. Edwin quietly left the shop, feeling embarrassed. He felt really uncomfortable. He heard someone mumble, “Where’s The Stinker headed to?” and he realized how impossible it would be to explain to anyone there that he was going to do a good deed.

“I will go to some outlying suburb,” he thought.

“I'll head to a nearby suburb,” he thought.

[145]

[145]

Once outside in the sunshine he tried to get back into the benign mood. He traveled right across London and made for Golders Green and Hendon, a part of the world foreign to him. By the time he had boarded the Golders Green ’bus he had quite recovered himself. It was still a brilliant day. “The better the day the better the deed,” he thought aptly. He hummed inaudibly; that is to say, he made curious crooning noises somewhere behind his silver chain and signets; the sound was happily suppressed by the noise of the ’bus.

Once he stepped outside into the sunshine, he tried to get back into a positive mood. He traveled all the way across London, heading for Golders Green and Hendon, an area that felt unfamiliar to him. By the time he got on the Golders Green bus, he had completely regained his composure. It was still a beautiful day. “The better the day, the better the deed,” he thought to himself. He hummed quietly; in other words, he made some odd crooning sounds somewhere behind his silver chain and rings; the noise was happily drowned out by the sound of the bus.

It seemed a very long journey. It was just as they were going through a rather squalid district near Cricklewood that the golden chance occurred to him. The fares had somewhat thinned. There were scarcely a dozen people in the ’bus. Next to him barely a yard away he observed a poor woman with a baby in her arms. She had a thin, angular, wasted face, and her clothes were threadbare but neat. A poor, thoroughly honest and deserving creature, making a bitter fight of it against the buffets of a cruel world. Edwin’s heart was touched. Here was his chance. He noticed that from her wrist was suspended a shabby black bag, and the bag was open. He would slip up near her and drop in a half-crown. What joy and rapture when she arrived home and found the unexpected treasure! An unknown benefactor! Edwin chuckled and wormed his way surreptitiously along the seat. Stealthily he fingered his half-crown and hugged it in the palm of his left hand. His heart beat with the excitement of his exploit. He looked out of the window opposite and[146] fumbled his hand towards the opening in the bag. He touched it. Suddenly a sharp voice rang out:

It felt like a really long journey. Just as they were passing through a pretty run-down area near Cricklewood, a golden opportunity presented itself to him. The number of passengers had decreased. There were barely a dozen people in the bus. Next to him, just a foot away, he noticed a poor woman holding a baby in her arms. She had a thin, angular, worn-out face, and her clothes were old but tidy. A truly honest and deserving person, struggling hard against the harshness of a cruel world. Edwin felt a pang of compassion. Here was his chance. He saw that a shabby black bag was hanging from her wrist, and it was open. He planned to sneak up next to her and drop a half-crown in it. What joy and excitement she would feel when she got home and discovered the unexpected gift! An anonymous benefactor! Edwin chuckled and quietly maneuvered along the seat. He discreetly felt for his half-crown and held it tightly in the palm of his left hand. His heart raced with excitement about his plan. He looked out of the window opposite and fumbled his hand towards the opening in the bag. He touched it. Suddenly, a sharp voice rang out:

“That man’s picking your pocket!”

"That guy's robbing you!"

An excited individual opposite was pointing at him. The woman uttered an exclamation and snatched at her bag. The baby cried. The conductor rang the bell. Every one seemed to be closing in on Edwin. Instinctively he snatched his hand away and thrust it in his pocket (the most foolish thing he could have done). Every one was talking. A calm muscular-looking gentleman who had not spoken seized Edwin by the wrist and said calmly:

An excited person across from him was pointing at him. The woman exclaimed and grabbed her bag. The baby cried. The conductor rang the bell. Everyone seemed to be crowding around Edwin. Instinctively, he pulled his hand away and shoved it into his pocket (the most foolish thing he could have done). Everyone was talking. A calm, muscular-looking man who hadn’t spoken before grabbed Edwin by the wrist and said calmly:

“Look in your bag, Madam, and see whether he has taken anything.”

“Check your bag, ma'am, and see if he’s taken anything.”

The ’bus came to a halt. Edwin muttered:

The bus came to a stop. Edwin muttered:

“I assure you—nothing of the sort—”

"I swear—nothing like that—"

How could he possibly explain that he was doing just the opposite? Would a single person believe a word of his yarn about the half-crown? The woman whimpered:

How could he even explain that he was doing the exact opposite? Would anyone believe a single word of his story about the half-crown? The woman whimpered:

“No,’e ain’t taken nothin’, bad luck to ’im. There was only four pennies and a ’alfpenny anyway. Dirty thief!”

“No, he hasn’t taken anything, bad luck to him. There were only four pennies and a halfpenny anyway. Dirty thief!”

“Are you goin’ to give ’im in charge?” asked the conductor.

“Are you going to put him in charge?” asked the conductor.

“Yer can’t if ’e ain’t actually taken nothin’, can yer? The dirty thievin’ swine tryin’ to rob a ’ard workin’ ’onest woman!”

"You can't if he hasn't actually taken anything, can you? The dirty thieving pig trying to rob a hardworking honest woman!"

“I wasn’t! I wasn’t!” feebly spluttered Edwin, blushing a ripe beetroot color.

“I wasn’t! I wasn’t!” Edwin stammered weakly, his face turning a deep shade of red.

[147]

[147]

“Shame! Shame! Chuck ’im off the ’bus! Dirty sneak! Call a copper!” were some of the remarks being hurled about.

“Shame! Shame! Throw him off the bus! Dirty sneak! Call the police!” were some of the comments being shouted.

The conductor was losing time and patience. He beckoned vigorously to Edwin and said:

The conductor was running out of time and patience. He waved urgently to Edwin and said:

“Come on, off you go!”

"Come on, get going!"

There was no appeal. He got up and slunk out. Popular opinion was too strong against him. As he stepped off the back board, the conductor gave him a parting kick which sent him flying on to the pavement. It was an operation received with shrieks of laughter and a round of applause from the occupants of the vehicle, taken up by a small band of other people who had been attracted by the disturbance. He darted down a back street to the accompaniment of boos and jeers.

There was no way to change the situation. He got up and left quietly. Public opinion was too harsh against him. As he stepped off the back of the vehicle, the conductor gave him a kick that sent him tumbling onto the sidewalk. The act was met with shrieks of laughter and applause from the people in the vehicle, which was picked up by a small group of others who had come over because of the fuss. He dashed down a side street, hearing boos and insults behind him.

It says something for Edwin Pothecary that this unfortunate rebuff to his first attempt to do a good action did not send him helter-skelter back to the fried fish shop in the Waterloo Road. He felt crumpled, bruised, mortified, disappointed, discouraged; but is not the path of all martyrs and reformers strewn with similar débris? Are not all really disinterested actions liable to misconstruction? He went into a dairy and partook of a glass of milk and a bun. Then he started out again. He would see more rural, less sophisticated people. In the country there must be simple, kindly people, needing his help. He walked for several hours with but a vague sense of direction. At last he came to a public park. A group of dirty boys were seated on the grass. They were apparently having a banquet.[148] They did not seem to require him. He passed on, and came to an enclosure. Suddenly between some rhododendron bushes he looked into a small dell. On a seat by himself was an elderly man in a shabby suit. He looked the picture of misery and distress. His hands were resting on his knees, and his eyes were fixed in a melancholy scrutiny on the ground. It was obvious that some great trouble obsessed him. He was as still as a shadow. It was the figure of a man lost in the past or—contemplating suicide? Edwin’s breath came quickly. He made his way to him. In order to do this it was necessary to climb a railing. There was probably another way round, but was there time? At any minute there might be a sudden movement, the crack of a revolver. Edwin tore his trousers and scratched his forearm, but he managed to enter the dell unobserved. He approached the seat. The man never looked up. Then Edwin said with sympathetic tears in his voice:

It says something about Edwin Pothecary that this unfortunate setback to his first attempt at a good deed didn’t send him running back to the fried fish shop on Waterloo Road. He felt crumpled, bruised, humiliated, disappointed, and discouraged; but isn’t the path of all martyrs and reformers littered with similar debris? Aren’t all genuinely selfless actions prone to misunderstanding? He went into a dairy and had a glass of milk and a bun. Then he set out again. He wanted to connect with more rural, less sophisticated people. In the countryside, there must be simple, kind folks who needed his help. He walked for several hours with just a vague sense of direction. Eventually, he came to a public park. A group of dirty boys were sitting on the grass. They seemed to be having a feast. They didn’t appear to need him. He moved on and came to a small enclosed area. Suddenly, between some rhododendron bushes, he saw a small hollow. Sitting alone on a bench was an elderly man in a worn-out suit. He looked miserable and distressed. His hands rested on his knees, and his eyes were fixed in a sorrowful gaze at the ground. It was clear that some deep trouble consumed him. He was as still as a shadow. It was the image of a man lost in the past or—contemplating suicide? Edwin's heart raced. He made his way toward him. To do this, he had to climb over a railing. There was probably another route, but was there time? At any moment, there could be a sudden movement, the sound of a gunshot. Edwin tore his trousers and scratched his forearm, but he managed to enter the hollow unnoticed. He approached the bench. The man never looked up. Then Edwin said with sympathetic tears in his voice:

“My poor fellow, may I be of any assistance—?”

"My poor friend, can I help you with anything—?"

There was a disconcerting jar. The melancholy individual started and turned on him angrily:

There was a jarring noise. The sad person jumped and abruptly turned to him, angry:

“Blast you! I’d nearly got it! What the devil are you doing here?”

"Blast you! I almost had it! What on earth are you doing here?"

And without waiting for an answer he darted away among the trees. At the same time a voice called over the park railings:

And without waiting for a response, he sprinted away among the trees. At the same time, a voice called out over the park railings:

“Ho! you, there, what are you doing over there? You come back the way you came. I saw yer.”

“Hey! You over there, what are you doing? Come back the way you came. I saw you.”

The burly figure of a park-keeper with gaiters and[149] stout stick beckoned him. Edwin got up and clambered back again, scratching his arm.

The hefty figure of a park ranger in gaiters and a sturdy stick waved him over. Edwin got up and scrambled back, scratching his arm.

“Now then,” said the keeper. “Name, address, age, and occupation, if you please.”

“Alright then,” said the keeper. “Please provide your name, address, age, and occupation.”

“I was only—” began Edwin. But what was he only doing? Could he explain to a park-keeper that he was only about to do a kind action to a poor man? He spluttered and gave his name, address, age, and occupation.

“I was just—” started Edwin. But what was he just doing? Could he really tell a park-keeper that he was just about to do something nice for a poor man? He stammered and gave his name, address, age, and job.

“Oh,” exclaimed the keeper. “Fried fish, eh? And what were you trying to do? Get orders? Or were you begging from his lordship?”

“Oh,” said the keeper. “Fried fish, huh? What exactly were you trying to do? Get orders? Or were you asking for something from his lordship?”

“His lordship?”

"Your lordship?"

“That man you was speaking to was Lord Budleigh-Salterton, the great scientist. He’s thinkin’ out ’is great invention, otherwise I’d go and ask ’im if ’e wanted to prosecute yer for being in ’is park on felonious intent or what.”

“That man you were talking to was Lord Budleigh-Salterton, the famous scientist. He’s working on his brilliant invention; otherwise, I’d go and ask him if he wanted to press charges against you for being in his park with criminal intent or something.”

“I assure you—” stammered Mr. Pothecary.

“I promise you—” stammered Mr. Pothecary.

The park-keeper saw him well off the premises, and gave him much gratuitous advice about his future behavior, darkened with melancholy prophecies regarding the would-be felon’s strength of character to live up to it.

The park keeper saw him out of the area and gave him a lot of free advice about how to behave in the future, mixed with sad predictions about whether the aspiring criminal could actually follow it.

Leaving the park he struck out towards the more rural neighborhood. He calculated that he must be somewhere in the neighborhood of Hendon. At the end of a lane he met a sallow-faced young man walking rapidly. His eyes were bloodshot and restless. He glanced at Edwin and stopped.

Leaving the park, he headed toward the more rural neighborhood. He estimated that he must be somewhere near Hendon. At the end of a lane, he encountered a pale-faced young man walking quickly. His eyes were red and restless. He looked at Edwin and stopped.

“Excuse me, sir,” he said.

"Excuse me, man," he said.

[150]

[150]

Edwin drew himself to attention. The young man looked up and down nervously. He was obviously in a great state of distress.

Edwin stood up straight. The young man glanced around nervously. He was clearly in a lot of distress.

“What can I do for you?”

“What can I do for you?”

“I—I—h-hardly like to ask you, sir, I—”

"I—I—kinda hate to ask you, sir, I—"

He stammered shockingly. Edwin turned on his most sympathetic manner.

He stammered in disbelief. Edwin put on his most sympathetic look.

“You are suffering. What is it?”

“You're in pain. What's going on?”

“Sh-Sh-Shell-shock, shir.”

“Sh-Sh-Shell-shock, sir.”

“Ah!”

"Wow!"

At last! Some heroic reflex of the war darted through Edwin’s mind. Here was his real chance at last. A poor fellow broken by the war and in need, neglected by an ungrateful country. Almost hidden by his outer coat he observed one of those little strips of colored ribbon, which implied more than one campaign.

At last! A heroic instinct from the war flashed through Edwin's mind. This was his real opportunity. A poor guy, shattered by the war and in need, overlooked by an ungrateful country. Almost concealed by his outer coat, he noticed one of those small strips of colored ribbon, signifying more than one campaign.

“Where did you meet your trouble?” he asked.

“Where did you run into your trouble?” he asked.

“P—P—P-Palestine, sir, capturing a T-T-Turkish redoubt. I was through Gallipoli, too, sir, but I won’t d-d-distress you. I am in a—in a—hospital at St. Albans, came to see my g-g-g-girl, but she’s g-g-g-gone—v-v-vanished....”

“P—P—P-Palestine, sir, capturing a T-T-Turkish redoubt. I went through Gallipoli as well, sir, but I won’t d-d-distress you. I’m in a—in a—hospital in St. Albans, came to see my g-g-g-girl, but she’s g-g-g-gone—v-v-vanished....”

“You don’t say so!”

"No way!"

“T-t-trouble is I l-l-l-lost my p-pass back. N-not quite enough m-mon—”

“T-t-trouble is I l-l-l-lost my p-pass back. N-not quite enough m-mon—”

“Dear me! How much short are you?”

“Wow! How much shorter are you?”

“S-S-S-Six shill—S-S-S-Six—”

“S-S-S-Six shill—S-S-S-Six—”

“Six shillings? Well, I’m very sorry. Look here, my good fellow, here’s seven-and-sixpence and God bless you!”

"Six shillings? Well, I'm really sorry. Look, my friend, here's seven and six pence, and God bless you!"

[151]

[151]

“T-T-thank you very much, sir. W-will you give me your n-name and—”

“T-T-thank you so much, sir. C-could you please tell me your n-name and—”

“No, no, no, that’s quite all right. I’m very pleased to be of assistance. Please forget all about it.”

“No, no, no, that’s totally fine. I’m really happy to help. Just forget it.”

He pressed the soldier’s hand and hurried on. It was done. He had performed a kind, unselfish action and no one should ever hear of it. Mr. Pothecary’s eyes glowed with satisfaction. Poor fellow! even if the story were slightly exaggerated, what did it matter? He was obviously a discharged soldier, ill, and in need. The seven-and-sixpence would make an enormous difference. He would always cherish the memory of his kind, unknown benefactor. It was a glorious sensation! Why had he never thought of doing a kindly act? It was inspiring, illuminating, almost intoxicating! He recalled with zest the delirious feeling which ran through him when he said, “No, no, no!” He would not give his name. He was the good Samaritan, a ship passing in the night. And now he would be able to go home, or go back to his business. He swung down the lane, singing to himself. As he turned the corner he came to a low bungalow-building. It was in a rather deserted spot. It had a board outside which announced “Tea, cocoa, light refreshments. Cyclists catered for.”

He shook the soldier’s hand and moved on quickly. It was done. He had done a kind, selfless thing and no one should ever find out. Mr. Pothecary’s eyes shone with satisfaction. Poor guy! Even if the story was a little stretched, what did it matter? He was clearly a released soldier, sick and in need. The seven-and-sixpence would make a huge difference. He would always treasure the memory of his kind, unknown helper. It felt amazing! Why had he never thought about doing something nice? It was inspiring, eye-opening, almost exhilarating! He remembered with excitement the blissful feeling he had when he said, “No, no, no!” He would not reveal his name. He was the good Samaritan, a passing ship in the night. And now he could go home or return to his job. He walked down the lane, singing to himself. As he turned the corner, he came across a small bungalow. It was in a rather quiet area. There was a sign outside that said “Tea, cocoa, light refreshments. Cyclists catered for.”

It was past mid-day, and although tea and cocoa had never made any great appeal to the gastronomic fancies of Edwin Pothecary, he felt in his present spiritually elevated mood that here was a suitable spot for a well-merited rest and lunch.

It was past noon, and even though tea and cocoa had never particularly interested Edwin Pothecary's taste buds, he felt that in his currently uplifted mood, this was the perfect place for a much-deserved break and lunch.

[152]

[152]

He entered a deserted room, filled with light oak chairs, and tables with green-tiled tops on which were placed tin vases containing dried ferns. A few bluebottles darted away from the tortuous remains of what had once apparently been a ham, lurking behind tall bottles of sweets on the counter. The room smelt of soda and pickles. Edwin rapped on the table for some time, but no one came. At last a woman entered from the front door leading to the garden. She was fat and out of breath.

He walked into an empty room filled with light oak chairs and tables topped with green tiles, which held tin vases filled with dried ferns. A few bluebottles buzzed away from the twisted remnants of what had once been a ham, hiding behind tall jars of candies on the counter. The room smelled like soda and pickles. Edwin knocked on the table for a while, but no one showed up. Finally, a woman came in through the front door that opened to the garden. She was overweight and panting.

Edwin coughed and said:

Edwin coughed and said:

“Good-mornin’, madam. May I have a bite of somethin’?”

“Good morning, ma'am. May I please have a bite of something?”

The woman looked at him and continued panting. When her pulmonary contortions had somewhat subsided she said:

The woman looked at him and kept panting. When her heavy breathing had calmed down a bit, she said:

“I s’pose you ’aven’t seen a pale young man up the lane?”

“I guess you haven’t seen a pale young guy down the lane?”

It was difficult to know what made him do it, but Edwin lied. He said:

It was hard to understand why he did it, but Edwin lied. He said:

“No.”

"Nope."

“Oh!” she replied. “I don’t know where ’e’s got to. ’E’s not s’posed to go out of the garden. ’E’s been ill, you know.”

“Oh!” she said. “I don’t know where he’s gone. He’s not supposed to leave the garden. He’s been sick, you know.”

“Really!”

“Seriously!”

“’E’s my nefyer, but I can’t always keep an eye on ’im. ’E’s a bright one, ’e is. I shall ’ave ’im sent back to the ’ome.”

“He's my nephew, but I can't always keep an eye on him. He's a smart one, he is. I'll have him sent back home.”

“Ah, poor fellow! I suppose he was—injured in the war?”

“Ah, poor guy! I guess he was—hurt in the war?”

[153]

[153]

“War!” The plump lady snorted. She became almost aggressive and confidential. She came close up to Edwin and shook her finger backwards and forwards in front of his eyes.

“War!” The chubby woman huffed. She got almost confrontational and conspiratorial. She stepped closer to Edwin and waved her finger back and forth in front of his face.

“I’ll tell yer ’ow much war ’e done. When they talked about conscription, ’e got that frightened, ’e went out every day and tried to drink himself from a A1 man into a C III man, and by God! ’e succeeded.”

“I’ll tell you how much work he did. When they talked about the draft, he got so scared that he went out every day and tried to drink himself from an A1 man into a C III man, and damn it! He succeeded.”

“You don’t say so!”

"No way!"

“I do say so. And more. When ’is turn came, ’e was in the ’orspital with Delirious Trimmings.”

“I really mean it. And there’s more. When it was his turn, he was in the hospital with Delirious Trimmings.”

“My God!”

“Oh my God!”

“’E’s only just come out. ’E’s all right as long as ’e don’t get ’old of a little money.”

“He's only just come out. He's fine as long as he doesn’t get hold of a little money.”

“What do you mean?”

"What do you mean?"

“If ’e can get ’old of the price of a few whiskies, ’e’ll ’ave another attack come on! What are yer goin’ ter ’ave—tea or cocoa?”

“If he can get his hands on the price of a few whiskies, he’ll have another attack coming on! What are you going to have—tea or cocoa?”

“I must go! I must go!” exclaimed the only customer Mrs. Boggins had had for two days, and gripping his umbrella he dashed out of the shop.

“I have to go! I have to go!” shouted the only customer Mrs. Boggins had had for two days, and gripping his umbrella, he rushed out of the shop.

“Good Lord! there’s another one got ’em!” ejaculated the good landlady. “I wonder whether ’e pinched anything while I was out? ’Ere! Come back, you dirty little bow-legged swipe!”

“Good Lord! There’s another one who got them!” exclaimed the good landlady. “I wonder if he stole anything while I was out? Hey! Come back, you dirty little bow-legged thief!”

But Mr. Pothecary was racing down the lane, muttering to himself: “Yes, that was a good action! A very good action indeed!”

But Mr. Pothecary was speeding down the lane, mumbling to himself: “Yeah, that was a great move! A really great move for sure!”

A mile further on he came to a straggling village, a forlorn unkempt spot, only relieved by a gaudy inn[154] called “The Two Tumblers.” Edwin staggered into the private bar and drank two pints of Government ale and a double gin as the liquid accompaniment to a hunk of bread and cheese.

A mile ahead, he arrived at a scattered village, a neglected and shabby place, except for a flashy inn[154] called “The Two Tumblers.” Edwin stumbled into the private bar and had two pints of Government ale along with a double gin, all while munching on a piece of bread and cheese.

It was not till he had lighted his pipe after the negotiation of these delicacies that he could again focus his philosophical outlook. Then he thought to himself: “It’s a rum thing ’ow difficult it is to do a good action. You’d think it’d be dead easy, but everythin’ seems against yer. One must be able to do it somewhere. P’raps one ought to go abroad, among foreigners and black men. That’s it! That’s why all these ’ere Bible Society people go out among black people, Chinese and so on. They find there’s nothin’ doin’ over ’ere.”

It wasn’t until he lit his pipe after dealing with these treats that he could refocus his philosophical thoughts. Then he said to himself: “It’s a strange thing how hard it is to do a good deed. You’d think it’d be super easy, but everything feels like it’s working against you. You have to be able to do it somewhere. Maybe people should travel abroad, among foreigners and people of different races. That’s it! That’s why all these Bible Society folks go out to work with people of color, Chinese, and others. They realize there’s nothing happening over here.”

Had it not been for the beer and gin it is highly probable that Edwin would have given up the project, and have returned to fish and chips. But lying back in a comfortable seat in “The Two Tumblers” his thoughts mellowed. He felt broad-minded, comfortable, tolerant ... one had to make allowances. There must be all sorts of ways. Money wasn’t the only thing. Besides, he was spending too much. He couldn’t afford to go on throwing away seven-and-sixpences. One must be able to help people—by helping them. Doing things for them which didn’t cost money. He thought of Sir Walter Raleigh throwing down his cloak for Queen Elizabeth to walk over. Romantic but—extravagant and silly, really a shrewd political move, no doubt; not a good action at all. If he met an ill-clad tramp he could take off his coat and wrap round[155] his shoulders and then—? Walk home to Quince Villa in his braces? What would Mrs. Pothecary have to say? Phew! One could save people from drowning, but he didn’t know how to swim. Fire! Perhaps there would be a fire. He could swarm up a ladder and save a woman from the top bedroom window. Heroic, but hardly inconspicuous; not exactly what he had meant. Besides, the firemen would never let him; they always kept these showy stunts for themselves. There must be something....

If it weren't for the beer and gin, it’s likely that Edwin would have given up on the project and gone back to eating fish and chips. But as he leaned back in a comfy seat at “The Two Tumblers,” his thoughts relaxed. He felt open-minded, comfortable, and tolerant... one had to be understanding. There had to be all sorts of ways to approach things. Money wasn’t everything. Besides, he was spending too much. He couldn’t keep throwing away seven-and-sixpences. You should be able to help people—by actually helping them. Doing things for them that didn’t cost money. He thought about Sir Walter Raleigh laying down his cloak for Queen Elizabeth to walk over. Romantic, but—really extravagant and silly; probably a clever political move, though; not a good deed at all. If he encountered a poorly dressed tramp, he could take off his coat and wrap it around his shoulders and then—? Walk home to Quince Villa in just his braces? What would Mrs. Pothecary think? Phew! One could save someone from drowning, but he didn’t know how to swim. Fire! Maybe there’d be a fire. He could climb a ladder and rescue a woman from the top bedroom window. Heroic, but definitely not subtle; not exactly what he had in mind. Besides, the firemen would never let him; they always reserved those flashy stunts for themselves. There must be something...

He walked out of “The Two Tumblers.”

He walked out of “The Two Tumblers.”

Crossing the road, he took a turning off the High Street. He saw a heavily-built woman carrying a basket of washing. He hurried after her, and raising his hat, said: “Excuse me, madam, may I carry your basket for you?”

Crossing the street, he turned off the High Street. He noticed a strong-looking woman carrying a basket of laundry. He quickly followed her and, tipping his hat, said, “Excuse me, ma'am, can I help you with your basket?”

She turned on him suspiciously and glared:

She looked at him suspiciously and glared:

“No, thanks, Mr. Bottle-nose. I’ve ’ad some of that before. You ’op it! Mrs. Jaggs ’ad ’ers pinched last week that way.”

“No, thanks, Mr. Bottle-nose. I’ve had some of that before. You keep it! Mrs. Jaggs had hers taken last week that way.”

“Of course,” he thought to himself as he hurried away. “The trouble is I’m not dressed for the part. A bloomin’ swell can go about doin’ good actions all day and not arouse suspicions. If I try and ’elp a girl off a tram-car I get my face slapped.”

“Of course,” he thought to himself as he rushed away. “The problem is I’m not dressed for the occasion. A fancy guy can go around doing good deeds all day without raising any suspicions. If I try to help a girl off a tram, I’ll just get my face slapped.”

Mr. Pothecary was learning. He was becoming a complete philosopher, but it was not till late in the afternoon that he suddenly realized that patience and industry are always rewarded. He was appealed to by a maiden in distress.

Mr. Pothecary was learning. He was becoming a complete philosopher, but it wasn’t until late in the afternoon that he suddenly realized that patience and hard work are always rewarded. A maiden in distress called out to him.

[156]

[156]

It came about in this way. He found the atmosphere of Northern London entirely unsympathetic to good deeds. All his action appeared suspect. He began to feel at last like a criminal. He was convinced that he was being watched and followed. Once he patted a little girl’s head in a paternal manner. Immediately a woman appeared at a doorway and bawled out:

It happened like this. He felt that the vibe in North London was totally against good deeds. Everything he did seemed suspicious. He started to feel like a criminal. He was convinced that someone was watching and following him. Once, he gently patted a little girl on the head in a fatherly way. Right away, a woman showed up at a doorway and shouted:

“’Ere, Lizzie, you come inside!”

“Hey, Lizzie, come inside!”

At length in disgust he boarded a south-bound ’bus. He decided to experiment nearer home. He went to the terminus and took a train to the station just before his own. It was a small town called Uplingham. This should be the last dance of the moral philanderer. If there was no one in Uplingham upon whom he could perform a good action, he would just walk home—barely two miles—and go to bed and forget all about it. To-morrow he would return to Fish-and-chips, and the normal behavior of the normal citizen.

Finally, feeling frustrated, he boarded a southbound bus. He decided to try something closer to home. He went to the terminal and took a train to the station right before his own. It was a small town called Uplingham. This should be the last fling for the moral flirt. If there was no one in Uplingham he could help, he would just walk home—barely two miles—and go to bed, forgetting all about it. Tomorrow, he would go back to fish and chips and the usual routine of an ordinary citizen.

Uplingham was a dismal little town, consisting mostly of churches, chapels and pubs, and apparently quite deserted. As Edwin wandered through it there crept over him a sneaking feeling of relief. If he met no one—well, there it was, he had done his best; and he could go home with a clear conscience. After all it was the spirit that counted in these things....

Uplingham was a gloomy little town, mostly made up of churches, chapels, and pubs, and it seemed pretty deserted. As Edwin walked through it, he felt a sly sense of relief. If he didn’t run into anyone—well, that was that; he had given it his all, and he could head home with a clear conscience. After all, it was the intention that mattered in these situations....

“O-o-oh!”

“Oooh!”

He was passing a small stone church, standing back on a little frequented lane. The maiden was seated alone in the porch and she was crying. Edwin bustled through the gate and as he approached her he had time[157] to observe that she was young, quietly dressed, and distinctly pretty.

He was walking by a small stone church that stood back on a rarely traveled lane. The young woman sat alone in the porch, crying. Edwin hurried through the gate, and as he got closer to her, he noticed that she was young, dressed simply, and quite attractive.[157]

“You are in trouble,” he said in his most feeling manner.

“You're in trouble,” he said with the most sincere tone.

She looked up at him quickly, and dabbed her eyes.

She quickly looked up at him and wiped her eyes.

“I’ve lost my baby! I’ve lost my baby!” she cried.

“I’ve lost my baby! I’ve lost my baby!” she shouted.

“Dear, dear, that’s very unfortunate! How did it happen?”

“Wow, that’s really unfortunate! What happened?”

She pointed at an empty perambulator in the porch.

She pointed at an empty stroller on the porch.

“I waited an hour here for my friends and husband and the clergyman. My baby was to be christened.” She gasped incoherently. “No one turned up. I went across to the Vicarage. The Vicar was away. I believe I ought to have gone to St. Bride’s. This is St. Paul’s. They didn’t know anything about it. They say people often make that mistake. When I got back the baby was gone. O-o-o-oh!”

“I waited an hour here for my friends and husband and the pastor. My baby was supposed to be baptized.” She gasped, unable to speak clearly. “No one showed up. I went over to the Vicarage. The Vicar was out. I think I should have gone to St. Bride’s. This is St. Paul’s. They didn’t know anything about it. They said people often make that mistake. When I got back, the baby was gone. O-o-o-oh!”

“There, there, don’t cry,” said Mr. Pothecary. “Now I’ll go over to St. Bride’s and find out about it.”

“Hey, it's okay, don’t cry,” said Mr. Pothecary. “I’ll go over to St. Bride’s and find out what’s going on.”

“Oh, sir, do you mind waiting here with the perambulator while I go? I want my baby. I want my baby.”

“Oh, sir, would you mind waiting here with the stroller while I go? I want my baby. I want my baby.”

“Why, yes, of course, of course.”

"Definitely, absolutely, for sure."

She dashed up the lane and left Mr. Pothecary in charge of an empty perambulator. In fifteen minutes’ time a thick-set young man came hurrying up to the porch. He looked at Edwin and pointing to the perambulator said:

She rushed up the lane, leaving Mr. Pothecary in charge of an empty stroller. Fifteen minutes later, a stocky young man hurried up to the porch. He looked at Edwin and, pointing to the stroller, said:

“Is this Mrs. Frank’s or Mrs. Fred’s?”

“Is this Mrs. Frank's or Mrs. Fred's?”

“I don’t know,” said Edwin, rather testily.

“I don’t know,” Edwin said, a bit annoyed.

[158]

[158]

“You don’t know! But you’re old Binns, ain’t you?”

“You don’t know! But you’re old Binns, right?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Nope, I’m not.”

The young man looked at him searchingly and then disappeared. Ten minutes elapsed and then a small boy rode up on a bicycle. He was also out of breath.

The young man studied him intently and then vanished. Ten minutes went by, and then a small boy rode up on a bicycle. He, too, was out of breath.

“Has Mrs. George been ’ere?” he asked.

“Has Mrs. George been here?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” replied Edwin.

“I don’t know,” Edwin replied.

“Mr. Henderson says he’s awfully sorry but he won’t be able to get away. You are to kiss the baby for ’im.”

“Mr. Henderson says he’s really sorry but he won’t be able to make it. You’re supposed to kiss the baby for him.”

“I don’t know anything about it.”

“I don’t know anything about that.”

“This is St. Bride’s, isn’t it?”

"This is St. Bride's, correct?"

“No, this is St. Paul’s.”

“No, this is St. Paul’s.”

“Oh!” The boy leapt on to the bicycle and also vanished.

“Oh!” The boy hopped on the bicycle and disappeared.

“This is absurd,” thought Edwin. “Of course, the whole thing is as plain as daylight. The poor girl has come to the wrong church. The whole party is at St. Bride’s, somebody must have taken the baby on there. I might as well take the perambulator along. They’ll be pleased. Now I wonder which is the way.”

“This is ridiculous,” thought Edwin. “Obviously, it’s as clear as day. The poor girl has ended up at the wrong church. The entire group is at St. Bride’s; someone must have taken the baby there. I might as well take the stroller along. They’ll appreciate it. Now I wonder which way to go.”

He wheeled the perambulator into the lane. There was no one about to ask. He progressed nearly two hundred yards till he came to a field with a pond in it. This was apparently the wrong direction. He was staring about when he suddenly became aware of a hue and cry. A party of people came racing down the lane headed by the thick-set man, who was exclaiming:

He pushed the stroller into the lane. There was no one around to ask for help. He walked nearly two hundred yards until he reached a field with a pond in it. This clearly was not the right direction. He was looking around when he suddenly noticed a commotion. A group of people was rushing down the lane, led by a stocky man who was shouting:

“There he is! There he is!”

“There he is! There he is!”

[159]

[159]

Edwin felt his heart beating. This was going to be a little embarrassing. They closed on him. The thickset man seized his wrists and at the same time remarked:

Edwin could feel his heart racing. This was going to be a bit embarrassing. They surrounded him. The stocky guy grabbed his wrists and then said:

“See he hasn’t any firearms on him, Frank.”

“Look, he doesn't have any weapons on him, Frank.”

The large man alluded to as Frank gripped him from behind.

The big guy referred to as Frank grabbed him from behind.

“What have you done with my baby?” he demanded fiercely.

“What have you done with my baby?” he demanded fiercely.

“I ’aven’t seen no baby,” yelped Mr. Pothecary.

“I haven’t seen any baby,” shouted Mr. Pothecary.

“Oh! ’Aven’t yer! What are yer doin’ with my perambulator then?”

“Oh! Haven’t you! What are you doing with my stroller then?”

“I’m takin’ it to St. Bride’s Church.”

“I’m taking it to St. Bride’s Church.”

“Goin’ in the opposite direction.”

“Going in the opposite direction.”

“I didn’t know the way.”

"I didn't know the route."

“Where’s the baby?”

"Where's the baby?"

“I ’aven’t seen it, I tell yer. The mother said she’d lost it.”

“I haven't seen it, I tell you. The mom said she lost it.”

“What the hell! Do you know the mother’s in bed sick? You’re a liar, my man, and we’re goin’ to take you in charge. If you’ve done anything to my baby I’ll kill you with my hands.”

“What the hell! Do you know the mom’s in bed sick? You’re a liar, man, and we’re going to take you in. If you’ve done anything to my baby, I’ll kill you with my own hands.”

“That’s it, Frank. Let ’im ’ave it. Throw ’im in the pond!”

"That's it, Frank. Let him have it. Throw him in the pond!"

“I tell yer I don’t know anythin’ about it all, with yer Franks, Freds and Georges! Go to the devil, all of yer!”

“I’m telling you, I don’t know anything about any of this, with your Franks, Freds, and Georges! Go to hell, all of you!”

In spite of his protestations, some one produced a rope and they handcuffed him and tied him to the gate of the field. A small crowd had collected and began[160] to boo and jeer. A man from a cottage hard by produced a drag, and between them they dragged the pond, as the general belief was that Edwin had tied a stone to the baby and thrown it in and was then just about to make off.

In spite of his protests, someone brought a rope and they handcuffed him and tied him to the gate of the field. A small crowd had gathered and started to boo and jeer. A man from a nearby cottage brought a drag, and together they dragged the pond, as many believed that Edwin had tied a stone to the baby and tossed it in and was just about to escape.

The uproar continued for some time, mud and stones being thrown about rather carelessly.

The chaos lasted for a while, with mud and rocks being tossed around pretty carelessly.

The crowd became impatient that no baby was found in the pond. At length another man turned up on a bicycle and called out:

The crowd grew restless when no baby was found in the pond. Eventually, another man showed up on a bicycle and shouted:

“What are you doing, Frank? You’ve missed the christening!”

“What are you doing, Frank? You missed the christening!”

“What!”

“Wait, what?!”

“Old Binns turned up with the nipper all right. He’d come round the wrong way.”

“Old Binns showed up with the kid for sure. He took the wrong route.”

The crowd was obviously disappointed at the release of Edwin, and the father’s only solatium was:

The crowd was clearly disappointed at Edwin's release, and the father's only comfort was:

“Well, it’s lucky for you, old bird!”

“Well, you’re lucky, old friend!”

He and his friends trundled the perambulator away rapidly across the fields. Edwin had hardly time to give a sigh of relief before he found himself the center of a fresh disturbance. He was approaching the church when another crowd assailed him, headed by the forlorn maiden. She was still in a state of distress, but she was hugging a baby to her.

He and his friends quickly rolled the stroller across the fields. Edwin barely had a moment to breathe a sigh of relief before he became the focus of another commotion. He was nearing the church when another crowd approached him, led by the sad young woman. She was still upset, but she was holding a baby close to her.

“Ah! You’ve found the baby!” exclaimed Edwin, trying to be amiable.

“Wow! You found the baby!” exclaimed Edwin, trying to be friendly.

“Where is the perambulator?” she demanded.

“Where's the stroller?” she asked.

“Your ’usband ’as taken it away, madam. He seemed to think I—”

“Your husband has taken it away, ma'am. He seemed to think I—”

[161]

[161]

A tall frigid young man stepped forward and said:

A tall, cold young man stepped forward and said:

“Excuse me, I am the lady’s husband. Will you please explain yourself?”

“Excuse me, I’m the lady’s husband. Could you please explain what’s going on?”

Then Edwin lost his temper.

Then Edwin snapped.

“Well, damn it, I don’t know who you all are!”

“Well, damn it, I don’t know who you all are!”

“The case is quite clear. You volunteered to take charge of the perambulator while my wife was absent. On her return you announce that it is spirited away. I shall hold you responsible for the entire cost—nearly ten pounds.”

“The situation is pretty straightforward. You offered to take care of the stroller while my wife was away. When she got back, you claimed it was missing. I'm going to hold you accountable for the whole expense—almost ten pounds.”

“Make it a thousand,” roared Edwin. “I’m ’aving a nice cheap day.”

“Make it a thousand,” shouted Edwin. “I’m having a nice affordable day.”

“I don’t wish for any more of your insolence, either. My wife has had a very trying experience. The baby has been christened Fred.”

“I don’t want any more of your rudeness, either. My wife has been through a lot. The baby has been named Fred.”

“Well, what’s the matter with that?”

"What's wrong with that?"

“Nothing,” screamed the mother. “Only that it is a girl! It’s a girl and it has been duly christened Fred in a Christian church. Oh! there’s been an awful muddle.”

“Nothing,” the mother screamed. “Just that it’s a girl! It’s a girl and she’s been officially named Fred in a Christian church. Oh! there’s been such a terrible mix-up.”

“It’s not this old fool’s fault,” interpolated the elderly woman quietly. “You see, Mrs. Frank and Mrs. Fred Smith were both going to have their babies christened to-day. Only Mrs. Frank was took sick, and sent me along with the child. I went to the wrong church and thinkin’ there was some mistake, went back home. Mrs. Frank’s baby’s never been christened at all. In the meantime, the ceremony was ready to start at St. Paul’s and Frank ’isself was there. No baby. They sends old Binns to scout around at other churches.[162] People do make mistakes—finds this good lady’s child all primed up for christening in the church door, and no one near, carries it off. In the meantime, the father had gone on the ramp. It’s him that probably went off with the perambulator and trounced you up a bit, old sport. It’ll learn you not to interfere so much in future perhaps.”

“It’s not this old fool’s fault,” the elderly woman quietly interjected. “You see, Mrs. Frank and Mrs. Fred Smith were both supposed to have their babies christened today. But Mrs. Frank got sick, so she sent me with her child. I went to the wrong church, and thinking there was some mistake, I went back home. Mrs. Frank’s baby hasn’t been christened at all. Meanwhile, the ceremony was ready to start at St. Paul’s, and Frank himself was there. No baby. They sent old Binns to check other churches. People do make mistakes—this kind lady finds her child all ready for christening at the church door, and with no one around, she takes it. In the meantime, the father had gone off on a bender. It’s probably him who took the stroller and roughed you up a bit, old sport. Maybe this will teach you not to interfere so much in the future.”[162]

“And the baby’s christened Fred!” wailed the mother. “My baby! My Gwendoline!” And she looked at Edwin with bitter recrimination in her eyes.

“And the baby’s named Fred!” the mother cried. “My baby! My Gwendoline!” And she glared at Edwin with bitter accusation in her eyes.

There was still a small crowd following and boys were jeering, and a fox-terrier, getting very excited, jumped up and bit Mr. Pothecary through the seat of his trousers. He struck at it with his stick, and hit a small boy, whose mother happened to be present. The good lady immediately entered the lists.

There was still a small crowd following, with boys jeering, and a fox-terrier, getting really excited, jumped up and bit Mr. Pothecary right through the seat of his pants. He swung his stick at it and accidentally hit a small boy, whose mother happened to be there. The concerned lady immediately stepped in.

“Baby-killer.... Hun!” were the last words he heard as he was chased up the street and across the fields in the direction of his own village.

“Baby-killer.... Hun!” were the last words he heard as he was chased up the street and across the fields toward his own village.

When he arrived it was nearly dark. Mr. Pothecary was tired, dirty, battered, torn, outraged, bruised and hatless. And his spirit hardened. The forces of reaction surged through him. He was done with good actions. He felt vindictive, spiteful, wicked. Slowly he took the last turning and his eye once more alighted on—the Peels’s fowl house.

When he got there, it was almost dark. Mr. Pothecary was exhausted, dirty, bruised, torn up, outraged, and without a hat. His spirit hardened. The forces of resistance surged within him. He was finished with doing good deeds. He felt vengeful, resentful, and wicked. Slowly, he took the last turn and his gaze fell again on—the Peels’ chicken coop.

And there came to him a vague desire to end his day by performing some action the contrary to good, something spiteful, petty, malign. His soul demanded some recompense for its abortive energies. And then he remembered[163] that the Peels were away. They were returning late that evening. The two intensive fowl-houses were at the end of the kitchen garden, where all the young spring cabbages and peas had just been planted. They could be approached between a slit in the narrow black fence adjacent to a turnip field. Rather a long way round. A simple and rather futile plan sprang into his mind, but he was too tired to think of anything more criminal or diabolic.

And he suddenly felt a vague urge to end his day by doing something bad, something spiteful, small-minded, and mean. His soul craved some kind of payoff for its wasted efforts. Then he remembered that the Peels were away. They would be back late that evening. The two big chicken coops were at the far end of the kitchen garden, where all the young spring cabbages and peas had just been planted. They could be accessed through a gap in the narrow black fence next to a turnip field. It was quite a long detour. A simple and somewhat pointless plan popped into his head, but he was too exhausted to come up with anything more illegal or evil.

He would creep round to the back, get through the fence, force his way into the fowl-house. Then he would kick out all those expensive Rhode Island pampered hens and lock them out. Inside he would upset everything and smash the place to pieces. The fowls would get all over the place. They would eat the young vegetables. Some of them would get lost, stolen by gypsies, killed by rats. What did he care? The Peels would probably not discover the outrage till the morrow, and they would never know who did it. Edwin chuckled inwardly, and rolled his eyes like the smooth villain of a fit-up melodrama. He glanced up and down to see that no one was looking, then he got across a gate and entered the turnip field.

He would sneak around to the back, get through the fence, and break into the chicken coop. Then he would kick out all those fancy Rhode Island hens and lock them outside. Inside, he would mess everything up and wreck the place. The chickens would scatter everywhere, eating the young vegetables. Some of them would get lost, taken by gypsies, or killed by rats. What did it matter to him? The Peels probably wouldn’t notice the mess until tomorrow, and they would never find out who did it. Edwin chuckled to himself, rolling his eyes like a classic villain in a cheesy play. He looked around to make sure no one was watching, then he hopped over a gate and entered the turnip field.

Within five minutes he was forcing the door of the fowl-house with a spade. The fowls were already settling down for the night, and they clucked rather alarmingly, but Edwin’s blood was up. He chased them all out, forty-five of them, and made savage lunges at them with his feet. Then he upset all the corn he could find, and poured water on it and jumped on it. He[164] smashed the complicated invention suspended from the ceiling, whereby the fowls had to reach up and get one grain of corn at a time. To his joy he found a pot of green paint, which he flung promiscuously over the walls and floor (and incidentally his clothes).

Within five minutes, he was breaking into the chicken coop with a spade. The chickens were already settling in for the night, and they clucked in panic, but Edwin was fired up. He chased them all out, all forty-five of them, and took wild swings at them with his feet. Then, he knocked over all the corn he could find, poured water on it, and jumped on it. He[164]destroyed the complex setup hanging from the ceiling that forced the chickens to reach up for one grain of corn at a time. To his delight, he discovered a can of green paint, which he splattered everywhere on the walls and floor (and incidentally on his clothes).

Then he crept out and bolted both of the doors.

Then he quietly slipped out and locked both doors.

The sleepy creatures were standing about outside, some feebly pecking about on the ground. He chased them through into the vegetable garden; then he rubbed some of the dirt and paint from his clothes and returned to the road.

The sleepy creatures were standing around outside, some weakly pecking at the ground. He chased them into the vegetable garden; then he wiped some of the dirt and paint off his clothes and went back to the road.

When he arrived home he said to his wife:

When he got home, he said to his wife:

“I fell off a tram on Waterloo Bridge. Lost my hat.”

“I fell off a tram on Waterloo Bridge and lost my hat.”

He was cold and wet and his teeth were chattering. His wife bustled him off to bed and gave him a little hot grog.

He was cold and damp, and his teeth were chattering. His wife hurried him off to bed and gave him a warm drink.

Between the sheets he recovered contentment. He gurgled exultantly at this last and only satisfying exploit of the day. He dreamed lazily of the blind rage of the Peels....

Between the sheets, he found happiness again. He gurgled excitedly at this last and only fulfilling moment of the day. He dreamed lazily of the blind fury of the Peels....

It must have been half-past ten when his wife came up to bring him some hot gruel. He had been asleep. She put the cup by the bedside and rearranged his pillow.

It must have been 10:30 when his wife came up to bring him some hot porridge. He had been asleep. She set the cup by the bedside and adjusted his pillow.

“Feeling better?” she asked.

“Are you feeling better?” she asked.

“Yes. I’m right,” he murmured.

“Yes. I'm correct,” he murmured.

She sat on a chair by the side of the bed and after a few minutes remarked:

She sat on a chair next to the bed and after a few minutes said:

[165]

[165]

“You’ve missed an excitement while you’ve been asleep.”

“You’ve missed out on some excitement while you’ve been sleeping.”

“Oh?”

"Oh?"

“Yes. A fire!”

“Yep. A fire!”

“A fire?”

"Is there a fire?"

“The Peels came home about an hour and a half ago and found the place on fire at the back.”

“The Peels got home about an hour and a half ago and found the back of the house on fire.”

“Oh?”

“Really?”

“Their cook Lizzie has been over. She said some straw near the wash-house must have started it. It’s burnt out the wash-house and both the fowl-houses. She says Mr. Peel says he don’t care very much because he was heavily insured for the lot. But the funny thing is, the fowls wasn’t insured and they’ve found the whole lot down the field on the rabbit-hutches. Somebody must have got in and let the whole lot out. It was a fine thing to do, or else the poor things would have been burnt up. What’s the matter, Ned? Is the gruel too hot?”

“Their cook Lizzie came by. She said some straw near the washhouse must have caught fire. It burned down the washhouse and both chicken coops. She mentions that Mr. Peel doesn’t mind too much because he had the whole place heavily insured. But the strange thing is, the chickens weren’t insured, and they’ve found all of them down the field by the rabbit hutches. Someone must have gotten in and let them all out. It was a good thing to do, or those poor animals would have been fried. What’s wrong, Ned? Is the porridge too hot?”

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[166]


[167]

[167]

THEM OTHERS

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[168]


[169]

[169]

THEM OTHERS

I

It is always disturbing to me when things fall into pattern form, when in fact incidents of real life dovetail with each other in such a manner as to suggest the shape of a story. A story is a nice neat little thing with what is called a “working-up” and a climax, and life is a clumsy, ungraspable thing, very incomplete in its periods, and with a poor sense of climax. In fact, death—which is a very uncertain quantity—is the only definite note it strikes, and even death has an uncomfortable way of setting other things in motion. If, therefore, in telling you about my friend Mrs. Ward, I am driven to the usual shifts of the story-teller, you must believe me that it is because this narrative concerns visions: Mrs. Ward’s visions, my visions, and your visions. Consequently I am dependent upon my own poor powers of transcription to mold these visions into some sort of shape, and am driven into the position of a story-teller against my will.

It always bothers me when events start to fit a pattern, as if real-life incidents align in a way that makes it seem like a story is forming. A story is a neat little package with a setup and a climax, while life is awkward and unpredictable, often leaving things unfinished and lacking a clear climax. In fact, death—which is highly uncertain—is the only clear point it hits, and even death tends to trigger other events. So, when I tell you about my friend Mrs. Ward, and I find myself resorting to typical storytelling tricks, you have to understand that this narrative involves visions: Mrs. Ward’s visions, my visions, and your visions. Therefore, I rely on my limited ability to translate these visions into some kind of shape, and I’m reluctantly cast into the role of a storyteller.

The first vision, then, concerns the back view of the Sheldrake Road, which, as you know, butts on to the railway embankment near Dalston Junction station. If you are of an adventurous turn of mind you shall accompany me, and we will creep up to the embankment together and look down into these back yards.[170] (We shall be liable to a fine of 40/-, according to a bye-law of the Railway Company, for doing so, but the experience will justify us.)

The first vision is about the view from the back of Sheldrake Road, which, as you know, borders the railway embankment near Dalston Junction station. If you're up for some adventure, you can join me, and we'll sneak up to the embankment together and take a peek into those backyards.[170] (We might get fined 40/- for it, as per a railway company bylaw, but it'll be worth it.)

There are twenty-two of these small buff-brick houses huddled together in this road, and there is surely no more certain way of judging not only the character of the individual inhabitants, but of their mode of life, than by a survey of these somewhat pathetic yards. Is it not, for instance, easy to determine the timid, well-ordered mind of little Miss Porson, the dressmaker at number nine, by its garden of neat mud paths, with its thin patch of meager grass, and the small bed of skimpy geraniums? Cannot one read the tragedy of those dreadful Alleson people at number four? The garden is a wilderness of filth and broken bottles, where even the weeds seem chary of establishing themselves. In fact, if we listen carefully—and the trains are not making too much noise—we can hear the shrill crescendo of Mrs. Alleson’s voice cursing at her husband in the kitchen, the half-empty gin-bottle between them.

There are twenty-two of these small buff-brick houses packed together on this street, and there’s surely no better way to judge not just the character of the individual residents but also their way of life than by looking at these somewhat sad yards. For example, it’s easy to see the timid, orderly nature of Miss Porson, the dressmaker at number nine, by her garden of tidy dirt paths, a thin patch of sparse grass, and a small bed of struggling geraniums. Can one not sense the tragedy of the dreadful Alleson family at number four? Their garden is a mess of dirt and broken bottles, where even the weeds seem hesitant to grow. In fact, if we listen closely—and if the trains aren’t too loud—we can hear the high-pitched crescendo of Mrs. Alleson’s voice yelling at her husband in the kitchen, the half-empty gin bottle sitting between them.

The methodical pushfulness and practicability of young Mr. and Mrs. Andrew MacFarlane is evident at number fourteen. They have actually grown a patch of potatoes, and some scarlet-runners, and there is a chicken run near the house.

The organized drive and practicality of young Mr. and Mrs. Andrew MacFarlane is clear at number fourteen. They have grown a patch of potatoes, some scarlet runners, and there’s a chicken coop near the house.

Those irresponsible people, the O’Neals, have grown a bed of hollyhocks, but for the rest the garden is untidy and unkempt. One could almost swear they were connected in some obscure way with the theatrical profession.

Those careless people, the O’Neals, have grown a patch of hollyhocks, but aside from that, the garden is messy and neglected. One might even think they have some vague connection to the theater world.

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[171]

Mrs. Abbot’s garden is a sort of playground. It has asphalt paths, always swarming with small and not too clean children, and there are five lines of washing suspended above the mud. Every day seems to be Mrs. Abbot’s washing-day. Perhaps she “does” for others. Sam Abbot is certainly a lazy, insolent old rascal, and such always seem destined to be richly fertile. Mrs. Abbot is a pleasant “body,” though. The Greens are the swells of the road. George Green is in the grocery line, and both his sons are earning good money, and one daughter has piano lessons. The narrow strip of yard is actually divided into two sections, a flower-garden and a kitchen-garden. And they are the only people who have flower-boxes in the front.

Mrs. Abbot’s garden is like a playground. It has asphalt paths that are always crowded with small, not-so-clean kids, and there are five lines of laundry hanging above the mud. It seems like every day is Mrs. Abbot’s laundry day. Maybe she helps out others too. Sam Abbot is definitely a lazy, cheeky old guy, and people like him always seem to have a lot of kids. Mrs. Abbot is a nice person, though. The Greens are the upper class on the street. George Green runs a grocery store, and both his sons make good money, plus one daughter takes piano lessons. The narrow strip of yard is actually divided into two parts: a flower garden and a kitchen garden. They’re the only ones with flower boxes in the front.

Number eight is a curious place. Old Mr. Bilge lives there. He spends most of his time in the garden, but nothing ever seems to come up. He stands about in his shirt-sleeves, and with a circular paper hat on his head, like a printer. They say he was formerly a corn merchant but has lost all his money. He keeps the garden very neat and tidy, but nothing seems to grow. He stands there staring at the beds, as though he found their barrenness quite unaccountable.

Number eight is an interesting spot. Old Mr. Bilge lives there. He spends most of his time in the garden, but nothing ever seems to grow. He hangs around in his shirt sleeves, wearing a circular paper hat on his head, like a printer. They say he used to be a corn merchant but has lost all his money. He keeps the garden very neat and tidy, but nothing flourishes. He stands there staring at the flower beds, as if he finds their emptiness completely puzzling.

Number eleven is unoccupied, and number twelve is Mrs. Ward’s.

Number eleven is empty, and number twelve belongs to Mrs. Ward.

We now come to an important vision, and I want you to come down with me from the embankment and to view Mrs. Ward’s garden from inside, and also Mrs. Ward as I saw her on that evening when I had occasion to pay my first visit.

We now arrive at an important vision, and I want you to come down with me from the embankment to view Mrs. Ward's garden from the inside, as well as Mrs. Ward herself, just as I saw her on that evening during my first visit.

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[172]

It had been raining, but the sun had come out. We wandered round the paths together, and I can see her old face now, lined and seamed with years of anxious toil and struggle; her long, bony arms, slightly withered, but moving restlessly in the direction of snails and slugs.

It had been raining, but the sun had come out. We walked around the paths together, and I can see her aged face now, marked with years of worry and hard work; her long, bony arms, a bit withered, but moving restlessly towards snails and slugs.

“O dear! O dear!” she was saying. “What with the dogs, and the cats, and the snails, and the trains, it’s wonderful anything comes up at all!”

“O dear! O dear!” she was saying. “With all the dogs, cats, snails, and trains, it’s amazing anything gets done at all!”

Mrs. Ward’s garden has a character of its own, and I cannot account for it. There is nothing very special growing—a few pansies and a narrow border of London Pride, several clumps of unrecognizable things that haven’t flowered, the grass patch in only fair order, and at the end of the garden an unfinished rabbit-hutch. But there is about Mrs. Ward’s garden an atmosphere. There is something about it that reflects her placid eye, the calm, somewhat contemplative way she has of looking right through things, as though they didn’t concern her too closely. As though, in fact, she were too occupied with her own inner visions.

Mrs. Ward’s garden has its own vibe, and I can't quite explain it. There's nothing particularly impressive growing—just a few pansies and a narrow border of London Pride, a few clumps of unidentifiable plants that haven’t bloomed, the lawn in decent shape, and at the end of the garden, an unfinished rabbit hutch. But there’s an atmosphere in Mrs. Ward’s garden. It has something that mirrors her calm gaze, the way she looks at things with a serene, somewhat thoughtful expression, as if they don’t really affect her. It’s as if she’s too absorbed in her own thoughts.

“No,” she says in answer to my query, “we don’t mind the trains at all. In fact, me and my Tom we often come out here and sit after supper. And Tom smokes his pipe. We like to hear the trains go by.”

“No,” she replies to my question, “we don’t mind the trains at all. In fact, Tom and I often come out here and sit after dinner. And Tom smokes his pipe. We enjoy listening to the trains go by.”

She gazes abstractedly at the embankment.

She stares off at the embankment, lost in thought.

“I like to hear things ... going on and that. It’s Dalston Junction a little further on. The trains go from there to all parts, right out into the country they[173] do ... ever so far.... My Ernie went from Dalston.”

“I enjoy hearing about what's happening and all that. It's Dalston Junction a bit further down. Trains leave from there to all kinds of places, even out into the countryside they[173] do ... quite a distance.... My Ernie took the train from Dalston.”

She adds the last in a changed tone of voice. And now perhaps we come to the most important vision of all—Mrs. Ward’s vision of “my Ernie.”

She adds the last part with a different tone. And now maybe we get to the most important vision of all—Mrs. Ward’s vision of “my Ernie.”

I ought perhaps to mention that I had never met “my Ernie.” I can only see him through Mrs. Ward’s eyes. At the time when I met her, he had been away at the war for nearly a year. I need hardly say that “my Ernie” was a paragon of sons. He was brilliant, handsome, and incredibly clever. Everything that “my Ernie” said was treasured. Every opinion that he expressed stood. If “my Ernie” liked any one, that person was always a welcome guest. If “my Ernie” disliked any one they were not to be tolerated, however plausible they might appear.

I should probably mention that I had never met “my Ernie.” I can only see him through Mrs. Ward’s eyes. When I met her, he had been away at war for almost a year. I don’t need to say that “my Ernie” was the perfect son. He was intelligent, good-looking, and incredibly smart. Everything “my Ernie” said was valued. Every opinion he expressed was respected. If “my Ernie” liked someone, that person was always a welcome guest. If “my Ernie” disliked someone, they were not to be tolerated, no matter how reasonable they might seem.

I had seen Ernie’s photograph, and I must confess that he appeared a rather weak, extremely ordinary-looking young man, but then I would rather trust to Mrs. Ward’s visions than the art of any photographer.

I had seen Ernie’s photograph, and I have to admit that he looked like a pretty weak, totally average young man, but I'd still prefer to trust Mrs. Ward’s visions over any photographer's skill.

Tom Ward was a mild, ineffectual-looking old man, with something of Mrs. Ward’s placidity but with nothing of her strong individual poise. He had some job in a gas-works. There was also a daughter named Lily, a brilliant person who served in a tea-shop, and sometimes went to theaters with young men. To both husband and daughter Mrs. Ward adopted an affectionate, mothering, almost pitying attitude. But with “my Ernie” it was quite a different thing. I can see her[174] stooping figure, and her silver-white hair gleaming in the sun as we come to the unfinished rabbit-hutch, and the curious wistful tones of her voice as she touches it and says:

Tom Ward was a mild, ineffective-looking old man, sharing some of Mrs. Ward’s calmness but lacking her strong sense of self. He had a job at a gas works. They also had a daughter named Lily, a bright person who worked in a tea shop and occasionally went to the theater with young men. Mrs. Ward treated both her husband and daughter with a warm, motherly, almost pitying demeanor. But with “my Ernie,” it was a whole different story. I can picture her stooping figure and her silver-white hair shining in the sun as we approach the unfinished rabbit hutch, and the oddly wistful tone of her voice as she touches it and says:

“When my Ernie comes home....”

"When my Ernie gets home..."

The war to her was some unimaginable but disconcerting affair centered round Ernie. People seemed to have got into some desperate trouble, and Ernie was the only one capable of getting them out of it. I could not at that time gauge how much Mrs. Ward realized the dangers the boy was experiencing. She always spoke with conviction that he would return safely. Nearly every other sentence contained some reference to things that were to happen “when my Ernie comes home.” What doubts and fears she had were only recognizable by the subtlest shades in her voice.

To her, the war was this unimaginable yet troubling situation revolving around Ernie. It seemed like people were in some kind of desperate trouble, and Ernie was the only one who could save them. At that moment, I couldn't tell how aware Mrs. Ward was of the dangers her son was facing. She always spoke confidently that he would come back safely. Almost every other sentence included some mention of what would happen "when my Ernie comes home." Any doubts or fears she had were only noticeable through the faintest changes in her voice.

When we looked over the wall into the deserted garden next door, she said:

When we peeked over the wall into the empty garden next door, she said:

“O dear! I’m afraid they’ll never let that place. It’s been empty since the Stellings went away. Oh, years ago, before this old war.”

“O dear! I’m worried they’ll never open that place again. It’s been empty since the Stellings left. Oh, that was years ago, before this old war.”

II

It was on the occasion of my second visit that Mrs. Ward told me more about the Stellings. It appeared that they were a German family, of all things! There was a Mr. Stelling, and a Mrs. Frow Stelling, and two boys.

It was during my second visit that Mrs. Ward shared more about the Stellings. It turned out they were a German family! There was a Mr. Stelling, a Mrs. Frow Stelling, and two boys.

Mr. Stelling was a watchmaker, and he came from a[175] place called Bremen. It was a very sad story Mrs. Ward told me. They had only been over here for ten months when Mr. Stelling died, and Mrs. Frow Stelling and the boys went back to Germany.

Mr. Stelling was a watchmaker, and he came from a[175] place called Bremen. It was a really sad story Mrs. Ward told me. They had only been here for ten months when Mr. Stelling died, and Mrs. Frow Stelling and the boys went back to Germany.

During the time of the Stellings’ sojourn in the Sheldrake Road it appeared that the Wards had seen quite a good deal of them, and though it would be an exaggeration to say that they ever became great friends, they certainly got through that period without any unpleasantness, and even developed a certain degree of intimacy.

During the time the Stellings were staying on Sheldrake Road, it seemed that the Wards had spent quite a bit of time with them. While it would be an overstatement to say they became great friends, they definitely managed to get through that time without any issues and even developed a certain level of closeness.

“Allowing for their being foreigners,” Mrs. Ward explained, “they were quite pleasant people.”

“Considering that they were foreigners,” Mrs. Ward explained, “they were pretty nice people.”

On one or two occasions they invited each other to supper, and I wish my visions were sufficiently clear to envisage those two families indulging this social habit.

On one or two occasions, they invited each other over for dinner, and I wish my visions were clear enough to picture those two families engaging in this social habit.

According to Mrs. Ward, Mr. Stelling was a kind little man with a round fat face. He spoke English fluently, but Mrs. Ward objected to his table manners.

According to Mrs. Ward, Mr. Stelling was a nice little guy with a round chubby face. He spoke English fluently, but Mrs. Ward had a problem with his table manners.

“When my Tom eats,” she said, “you don’t hear a sound—I look after that!—But that Mr. Stelling.... O dear!”

“When my Tom eats,” she said, “you don’t hear a sound—I take care of that!—But that Mr. Stelling.... Oh dear!”

The trouble with Mrs. Stelling was that she could only speak a few words of English, but Mrs. Ward said “she was a pleasant enough little body,” and she established herself quite definitely in Mrs. Ward’s affections for the reason that she was so obviously and so passionately devoted to her two sons.

The issue with Mrs. Stelling was that she could only speak a few words of English, but Mrs. Ward said “she was a nice enough person,” and she firmly secured a place in Mrs. Ward’s affections because she was clearly and deeply devoted to her two sons.

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[176]

“Oh, my word, though, they do have funny ways—these foreigners,” she continued. “The things they used to eat! most peculiar! I’ve known them eat stewed prunes with hot meat!”

“Oh my gosh, they really do have strange customs—these foreigners,” she went on. “The things they used to eat! So odd! I’ve seen them eat stewed prunes with hot meat!”

Mrs. Ward repeated, “Stewed prunes with hot meat!” several times, and shook her head, as though this exotic mixture was a thing to be sternly discouraged. But she acknowledged that Mrs. Frow Stelling was in some ways a very good cook, in fact, her cakes were really wonderful, “the sort of thing you can’t even buy in a shop.”

Mrs. Ward kept saying, “Stewed prunes with hot meat!” over and over, shaking her head as if this strange combination was something to be firmly discouraged. However, she admitted that Mrs. Frow Stelling was quite a good cook in some respects; her cakes were truly amazing, “the kind of thing you can’t even find in a store.”

About the boys there seemed to be a little divergence of opinion. They were both also fat-faced, and their heads were “almost shaved like convicts.” The elder one wore spectacles and was rather noisy, but:

About the boys, there seemed to be a bit of a difference in opinion. They both had round faces, and their heads were “almost shaved like convicts.” The older one wore glasses and was pretty loud, but:

“My Ernie liked the younger one. Oh, yes, my Ernie said that young Hans was quite a nice boy. It was funny the way they spoke, funny and difficult to understand.”

“My Ernie liked the younger one. Oh, yes, my Ernie said that young Hans was a really nice guy. It was amusing the way they talked, amusing and hard to understand.”

It was very patent that between the elder boy and Ernie, who were of about the same age, there was an element of rivalry which was perhaps more accentuated in the attitude of the mothers than in the boys themselves. Mrs. Ward could find little virtue in this elder boy. Most of her criticism of the family was leveled against him. The rest she found only a little peculiar. She said she had never heard such a funny Christian name as Frow. Florrie she had heard of, and even Flora, but not Frow. I suggested that perhaps Frow might be some sort of title, but she shook her head and[177] said that that was what she was always known as in the Sheldrake Road, “Mrs. Frow Stelling.”

It was clear that between the older boy and Ernie, who were about the same age, there was a sense of rivalry that was maybe more obvious in the mothers' attitudes than in the boys themselves. Mrs. Ward found little to admire in the older boy. Most of her criticisms of the family were directed at him. The rest of the family she found just a bit odd. She mentioned she had never heard such a strange Christian name as Frow. She had heard of Florrie and even Flora, but not Frow. I suggested that maybe Frow was some kind of title, but she shook her head and[177] said that was what she was always called on Sheldrake Road, “Mrs. Frow Stelling.”

In spite of Mrs. Ward’s lack of opportunity for greater intimacy on account of the language problem, her own fine imaginative qualities helped her a great deal. And in one particular she seemed curiously vivid. She gathered an account from one of them—I’m not sure whether it was Mr. or Mrs. Frow Stelling or one of the boys—of a place they described near their home in Bremen. There was a narrow street of high buildings by a canal, and a little bridge that led over into a gentleman’s park. At a point where the canal turned sharply eastwards there was a clump of linden-trees, where one could go in the summer-time, and under their shade one might sit and drink light beer, and listen to a band that played in the early part of the evening.

Despite Mrs. Ward’s limited chances for deeper connections because of the language barrier, her own imaginative abilities helped her a lot. In one specific way, she seemed particularly vivid. She gathered a description from either Mr. or Mrs. Frow Stelling or one of the boys about a place near their home in Bremen. It was a narrow street lined with tall buildings by a canal, with a small bridge leading into a gentleman’s park. Where the canal turned sharply to the east, there was a cluster of linden trees where one could go in the summer. Under their shade, people would sit, enjoy light beer, and listen to a band that played early in the evening.

Mrs. Ward was curiously clear about that. She said she often thought about Mr. Stelling sitting there after his day’s work. It must have been very pleasant for him, and he seemed to miss this luxury in Dalston more than anything. Once Ernie, in a friendly mood, had taken him into the four-ale bar of “The Unicorn” at the corner of the Sheldrake Road, but Mr. Stelling did not seem happy. Ernie acknowledged afterwards that it had been an unfortunate evening. The bar had been rather crowded, and there was a man and two women who had all been drinking too much. In any case, Mr. Stelling had been obviously restless there, and he had said afterwards:

Mrs. Ward was oddly aware of that. She mentioned that she often thought about Mr. Stelling sitting there after a long day of work. It must have been really nice for him, and he seemed to miss that comfort in Dalston more than anything else. One time, Ernie, feeling friendly, took him into the four-ale bar of “The Unicorn” at the corner of Sheldrake Road, but Mr. Stelling didn’t seem happy. Ernie later admitted that it had been a disappointing evening. The bar was pretty crowded, and there was a man and two women who had all had too much to drink. In any case, Mr. Stelling had clearly been uneasy there, and he had said afterwards:

[178]

[178]

“It is not that one wishes to drink only....”

“It is not that one wishes to drink only....”

And he had shaken his fat little head, and had never been known to visit “The Unicorn” again.

And he shook his chubby little head, and he was never seen at “The Unicorn” again.

Mr. Stelling died quite suddenly of some heart trouble, and Mrs. Ward could not get it out of her head that his last illness was brought about by his disappointment and grief in not being able to go and sit quietly under the linden-trees after his day’s work and listen to a band.

Mr. Stelling passed away unexpectedly due to heart issues, and Mrs. Ward couldn't shake the feeling that his final illness was caused by his disappointment and sadness over not being able to relax under the linden trees after a day's work and listen to a band.

“You know, my dear,” she said, “when you get accustomed to a thing, it’s bad for you to leave it off.”

“You know, my dear,” she said, “when you get used to something, it’s bad for you to stop.”

When poor Mr. Stelling died, Mrs. Frow Stelling was heart-broken, and I have reason to believe that Mrs. Ward went in and wept with her, and in their dumb way they forged the chains of some desperate understanding. When Mrs. Frow Stelling went back to Germany they promised to write to each other. But they never did, and for a very good reason. As Mrs. Ward said, she was “no scholard,” and as for Mrs. Frow Stelling, her English was such a doubtful quantity, she probably never got beyond addressing the envelope.

When poor Mr. Stelling passed away, Mrs. Frow Stelling was devastated, and I have reason to believe that Mrs. Ward went in and cried with her, and in their silent way, they formed the bonds of some urgent understanding. After Mrs. Frow Stelling returned to Germany, they promised to write to each other. But they never did, and for a very good reason. As Mrs. Ward said, she was “no scholar,” and as for Mrs. Frow Stelling, her English was so shaky that she probably never got further than addressing the envelope.

“That was three years ago,” said Mrs. Ward. “Them boys must be eighteen and nineteen now.”

“That was three years ago,” Mrs. Ward said. “Those boys must be eighteen and nineteen now.”

III

If I have intruded too greatly into the intimacy of Mrs. Ward’s life, one of my excuses must be—not that I am “a scholard” but that I am in any case able to read a simple English letter. I was in fact on several[179] occasions “requisitioned.” When Lily was not at home, some one had to read Ernie’s letters out loud. The arrival of Ernie’s letters was always an inspiring experience. I should perhaps be in the garden with Mrs. Ward, when Tom would come hurrying out to the back, and call out:

If I've intruded too much into Mrs. Ward's personal life, one of my reasons must be—not because I'm "a scholar," but simply because I can read a basic English letter. In fact, there were several[179] times when I was "drafted." When Lily wasn't home, someone had to read Ernie's letters aloud. The arrival of Ernie's letters was always an uplifting experience. I could be in the garden with Mrs. Ward when Tom would rush out to the back and call out:

“Mother! a letter from Ernie!”

“Mom! A letter from Ernie!”

And then there would be such excitement and commotion. The first thing was always the hunt for Mrs. Ward’s spectacles. They were never where she had put them. Tom would keep on turning the letter over in his hands, and examining the postmark, and he would reiterate:

And then there would be so much excitement and noise. The first thing was always the search for Mrs. Ward’s glasses. They were never where she had left them. Tom would keep turning the letter over in his hands, checking the postmark, and he would keep saying:

“Well, what did you do with them, mother?”

“Well, what did you do with them, Mom?”

At length they would be found in some unlikely place, and she would take the letter tremblingly to the light. I never knew quite how much Mrs. Ward could read. She could certainly read a certain amount. I saw her old eyes sparkling and her tongue moving jerkily between her parted lips, as though she were formulating the words she read, and she would keep on repeating:

At last, they would be discovered in some unexpected spot, and she would anxiously hold the letter up to the light. I never quite figured out how well Mrs. Ward could read. She could definitely read to some extent. I saw her aged eyes shining and her tongue moving awkwardly between her slightly open lips, as if she were trying to piece together the words she was reading, and she would keep repeating:

“T’ch! T’ch! O dear, O dear, the things he says!”

“T’ch! T’ch! Oh no, oh no, the things he says!”

And Tom impatiently by the door would say:

And Tom, impatiently waiting by the door, would say:

“Well, what does he say?”

"Well, what does he say?"

She never attempted to read the letter out loud, but at last she would wipe her spectacles and say:

She never tried to read the letter aloud, but eventually, she would clean her glasses and say:

“Oh, you read it, sir. The things he says!”

“Oh, you read it, sir. The stuff he says!”

They were indeed very good letters of Ernie’s, written[180] apparently in the highest spirits. There was never a grumble, not a word. One might gather that he was away with a lot of young bloods on some sporting expedition, in which football, rags, sing-songs, and strange feeds played a conspicuous part. I read a good many of Ernie’s letters, and I do not remember that he ever made a single reference to the horrors of war, or said anything about his own personal discomforts. The boy must have had something of his mother in him in spite of the photograph.

They were really great letters from Ernie, written[180] in what seemed like high spirits. There was never a complaint, not a single word. One might think he was off with a bunch of young guys on some adventure, where football, pranks, songs, and unusual meals played a big role. I read many of Ernie’s letters, and I don’t remember him ever mentioning the horrors of war or talking about his own struggles. The kid must have inherited some of his mother’s spirit, despite the photograph.

And between the kitchen and the yard Mrs. Ward would spend her day placidly content, for Ernie never failed to write. There was sometimes a lapse of a few days, but the letter seldom failed to come every fortnight.

And between the kitchen and the yard, Mrs. Ward would spend her day peacefully happy, because Ernie always wrote. There would be a gap of a few days now and then, but the letter almost always arrived every two weeks.

It would be difficult to know what Mrs. Ward’s actual conception of the war was. She never read the newspapers, for the reason, as she explained, that “there was nothing in them these days except about this old war.” She occasionally dived into Reynold’s newspaper on Sundays to see if there were any interesting law cases or any news of a romantic character. There was nothing romantic in the war news. It was all preposterous. She did indeed read the papers for the first few weeks, but this was for the reason that she had some vague idea that they might contain some account of Ernie’s doings. But as they did not, she dismissed them with contempt.

It would be hard to know what Mrs. Ward really thought about the war. She never read the newspapers because, as she put it, “there’s nothing in them these days except about this old war.” Occasionally, she would check out Reynold’s newspaper on Sundays to see if there were any interesting legal cases or romantic news. There was nothing romantic in the war news; it all seemed ridiculous to her. She did read the papers for the first few weeks because she had a vague idea that they might have some updates on Ernie's activities. But since they didn't, she quickly wrote them off.

But I found her one night in a peculiarly preoccupied mood. She was out in the garden, and she kept[181] staring abstractedly over the fence into the unoccupied ground next door. It appeared that it had dawned upon her that the war was to do with “these Germans,” that in fact we were fighting the Germans, and then she thought of the Stellings. Those boys would now be about eighteen and nineteen. They would be fighting too. They would be fighting against Ernie. This seemed very peculiar.

But I found her one night in a strangely thoughtful mood. She was out in the garden, staring blankly over the fence into the empty lot next door. It seemed to have occurred to her that the war involved “these Germans,” that we were actually fighting the Germans, and then she thought about the Stellings. Those boys would be around eighteen or nineteen now. They’d be fighting too. They’d be fighting against Ernie. This felt really strange.

“Of course,” she said, “I never took to that elder boy—a greedy rough sort of boy he was. But I’m sure my Ernie wouldn’t hurt young Hans.”

“Of course,” she said, “I never liked that older boy—he was a greedy, rough kind of kid. But I’m sure my Ernie wouldn’t hurt young Hans.”

She meditated for a moment as though she were contemplating what particular action Ernie would take in the matter. She knew he didn’t like the elder boy but she doubted whether he would want to do anything very violent to him.

She took a moment to think, as if considering what action Ernie would take in this situation. She knew he didn’t like the older boy, but she wasn’t sure if he would want to do anything too violent to him.

“They went out to a music-hall one night together,” she explained, as though a friendship cemented in this luxurious fashion could hardly be broken by an unreasonable display of passion.

“They went out to a music hall one night together,” she explained, as if a friendship solidified in this fancy way could hardly be shattered by an irrational show of emotion.

IV

It was a few weeks later that the terror suddenly crept into Mrs. Ward’s life. Ernie’s letters ceased abruptly. The fortnight passed, then three weeks, four weeks, five weeks, and not a word. I don’t think that Mrs. Ward’s character at any time stood out so vividly as during those weeks of stress. It is true she appeared a little feebler, and she trembled in her movements,[182] whilst her eyes seemed abstracted as though all the power in them were concentrated in her ears, alert for the bell or the knock. She started visibly at odd moments, and her imagination was always carrying her tempestuously to the front door only to answer—a milkman or a casual hawker. But she never expressed her fear in words. When Tom came home—he seemed to have aged rapidly—he would come bustling out into the garden, and cry tremblingly:

It was a few weeks later that fear suddenly crept into Mrs. Ward’s life. Ernie’s letters stopped coming. Two weeks passed, then three weeks, four weeks, five weeks, and there was no word. I don’t think Mrs. Ward’s character ever stood out so clearly as during those stressful weeks. It’s true she seemed a bit weaker, and she shook in her movements, while her eyes looked distant as if all her focus was on her ears, listening for the doorbell or a knock. She would jump at unexpected moments, and her imagination would often race to the front door, only to find it was a milkman or a random vendor. But she never voiced her fear. When Tom came home—he appeared to have aged quickly—he would rush out into the garden and say, trembling:

“There ain’t been no letter to-day, mother?”

“There hasn’t been any letter today, Mom?”

And she would say quite placidly:

And she would say calmly:

“No, not to-day, Tom. It’ll come to-morrow, I expect.”

“No, not today, Tom. I expect it will come tomorrow.”

And she would rally him and talk of little things, and get busy with his supper. And in the garden I would try and talk to her about her clump of pansies, and the latest yarn about the neighbors, and I tried to get between her and the rabbit-hutch with its dumb appeal of incompletion. And I would notice her staring curiously over into the empty garden next door, as though she were being assailed by some disturbing apprehensions. Ernie would not hurt that eldest boy ... but suppose ... if things were reversed ... there was something inexplicable and terrible lurking in this passive silence.

And she would encourage him and chat about small things, while getting his dinner ready. In the garden, I would try to talk to her about her bunch of pansies, the latest gossip about the neighbors, and I tried to position myself between her and the rabbit hutch with its silent, unfinished look. I noticed her gazing curiously into the empty garden next door, as if some unsettling worries were troubling her. Ernie wouldn't hurt that oldest boy... but what if... if the situation were flipped... there was something strange and frightening hiding in this quiet stillness.

During this period the old man was suddenly taken very ill. He came home one night with a high temperature and developed pneumonia. He was laid up for many weeks, and she kept back the telegram that came while he was almost unconscious, and she tended[183] him night and day, nursing her own anguish with a calm face.

During this time, the old man suddenly fell seriously ill. He came home one night with a high fever and ended up with pneumonia. He was bedridden for several weeks, and she held back the telegram that arrived while he was nearly unconscious, caring for him day and night, masking her own distress with a composed expression.[183]

For the telegram told her that her Ernie was “missing, believed wounded.”

For the telegram told her that her Ernie was “missing, believed wounded.”

I do not know at what period she told the father this news, but it was certainly not till he was convalescent. And the old man seemed to sink into a kind of apathy. He sat feebly in front of the kitchen fire, coughing and making no effort to control his grief.

I don't know when she told her father this news, but it definitely wasn't until he was starting to recover. The old man seemed to fall into a sort of apathy. He sat weakly in front of the kitchen fire, coughing and showing no effort to hide his sadness.

Outside the great trains went rushing by, night and day. Things were “going on,” but they were all meaningless, cruel.

Outside, the big trains sped by, day and night. Things were happening, but they were all pointless and cruel.

We made enquiries at the War Office, but they could not amplify the laconic telegram.

We asked at the War Office, but they couldn’t provide more details about the short telegram.

And then the winter came on, and the gardens were bleak in the Sheldrake Road. And Lily ran away and married a young tobacconist, who was earning twenty-five shillings a week. And old Tom was dismissed from the gas-works. His work was not proving satisfactory. And he sat about at home and moped. And in the meantime the price of foodstuffs was going up, and coals were a luxury. And so in the early morning Mrs. Ward would go off and work for Mrs. Abbot at the wash-tub, and she would earn eight or twelve shillings a week.

And then winter came, and the gardens on Sheldrake Road were bare. Lily ran away and married a young tobacconist who was making twenty-five shillings a week. Old Tom was let go from the gasworks because his work wasn’t good enough. He stayed home and felt sorry for himself. Meanwhile, food prices kept rising, and coal became a luxury. So, every morning, Mrs. Ward would leave to work for Mrs. Abbot at the wash tub, earning eight to twelve shillings a week.

It is difficult to know how they managed during those days, but one could see that Mrs. Ward was buoyed up by some poignant hope. She would not give way. Eventually old Tom did get some work to do at a stationer’s. The work was comparatively light, and the[184] pay equally so, so Mrs. Ward still continued to work for Mrs. Abbot.

It’s hard to know how they got by during those days, but you could see that Mrs. Ward was lifted by some deep hope. She wouldn’t give in. Eventually, old Tom managed to find some work at a stationery store. The job was relatively easy, and the pay was just as light, so Mrs. Ward continued working for Mrs. Abbot.

My next vision of Mrs. Ward concerns a certain winter evening. I could not see inside the kitchen, but the old man could be heard complaining. His querulous voice was rambling on, and Mrs. Ward was standing by the door leading into the garden. She had returned from her day’s work and was scraping a pan out into a bin near the door. A train shrieked by, and the wind was blowing a fine rain against the house. Suddenly she stood up and looked up at the sky; then she pushed back her hair from her brow, and frowned at the dark house next door. Then she turned and said:

My next memory of Mrs. Ward is from a winter evening. I couldn't see inside the kitchen, but I could hear the old man grumbling. His complaining voice was going on and on, and Mrs. Ward was standing by the door that led to the garden. She had just come back from her day's work and was scraping out a pan into a bin near the door. A train whistled past, and the wind was blowing a light rain against the house. Suddenly, she stood up and looked at the sky; then she pushed her hair back from her forehead and frowned at the dark house next door. Then she turned and said:

“Oh, I don’t know, Tom, if we’ve got to do it, we must do it. If them others can stand it, we can stand it. Whatever them others can do, we can do.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Tom, if we have to do it, we have to do it. If those others can handle it, we can handle it. Whatever those others can do, we can do.”

And then my visions jump rather wildly. And the war becomes to me epitomized in two women. One in this dim doorway in our obscure suburb of Dalston, scraping out a pan, and the other perhaps in some dark high house near a canal on the outskirts of Bremen. Them others! These two women silently enduring. And the trains rushing by, and all the dark, mysterious forces of the night operating on them equivocally.

And then my visions shift quite dramatically. The war to me is embodied in two women. One stands in a dim doorway in our little suburb of Dalston, scraping out a pan, while the other may be in some dark high house near a canal on the outskirts of Bremen. Those others! These two women silently enduring. And the trains rushing past, with all the dark, mysterious forces of the night affecting them in uncertain ways.

Poor Mrs. Frow Stelling! Perhaps those boys of hers are “missing, believed killed.” Perhaps they are killed for certain. She is as much outside “the things going on” as Mrs. Ward. Perhaps she is equally as patient, as brave.

Poor Mrs. Frow Stelling! Maybe her boys are “missing, believed killed.” Maybe they’re definitely dead. She’s just as out of touch with “what’s happening” as Mrs. Ward. Maybe she’s just as patient and brave.

[185]

[185]

And Mrs. Ward enters the kitchen, and her eyes are blazing with a strange light as she says:

And Mrs. Ward walks into the kitchen, her eyes shining with an unusual intensity as she says:

“We’ll hear to-morrow, Tom. And if we don’t hear to-morrow, we’ll hear the next day. And if we don’t hear the next day, we’ll hear the day after. And if we don’t ... if we don’t never hear ... again ... if them others can stand it, we can stand it, I say.”

“We’ll hear tomorrow, Tom. And if we don’t hear tomorrow, we’ll hear the next day. And if we don’t hear the next day, we’ll hear the day after. And if we don’t ... if we never hear ... again ... if those others can handle it, we can handle it, I say.”

And then her voice breaks, and she cries a little, for endurance has its limitations, and—the work is hard at Mrs. Abbot’s.

And then her voice cracks, and she cries a bit, because endurance has its limits, and—the work is tough at Mrs. Abbot's.

And the months go by, and she stoops a little more as she walks, and—some one has thrown a cloth over the rabbit-hutch with its unfinished roof. And Mrs. Ward is curiously retrospective. It is useless to tell her of the things of the active world. She listens politely but she does not hear. She is full of reminiscences of Ernie’s and Lily’s childhood. She recounts again and again the story of how Ernie when he was a little boy ordered five tons of coal from a coal merchant to be sent to a girls’ school in Dalston High Road. She describes the coal carts arriving in the morning, and the consternation of the head-mistress.

And the months pass, and she hunches a bit more as she walks, and—someone has covered the rabbit hutch with its unfinished roof. Mrs. Ward is oddly reflective. It’s pointless to tell her about the happenings in the outside world. She listens politely but doesn’t really hear. She’s filled with memories of Ernie and Lily’s childhood. She tells the story over and over about how Ernie, when he was little, ordered five tons of coal from a coal merchant to be sent to a girls’ school in Dalston High Road. She describes the coal trucks arriving in the morning and the shock of the headmistress.

“O dear, O dear,” she says; “the things he did!”

“O dear, O dear,” she says; “the things he did!”

She does not talk much of the Stellings, but one day she says meditatively:

She doesn't say much about the Stellings, but one day she states thoughtfully:

“Mrs. Frow Stelling thought a lot of that boy Hans. So she did of the other, as far as that goes. It’s only natural like, I suppose.”

“Mrs. Frow Stelling thought a lot of that boy Hans. She did the same for the other one, as far as that goes. It’s just natural, I guess.”

[186]

[186]

V

As time went on Tom Ward lost all hope. He said he was convinced that the boy was killed. Having arrived at this conclusion he seemed to become more composed. He gradually began to accustom himself to the new point of view. But with Mrs. Ward the exact opposite was the case.

As time passed, Tom Ward lost all hope. He said he was sure that the boy was dead. Once he reached this conclusion, he appeared to become more at ease. He slowly started to adjust to this new perspective. But with Mrs. Ward, it was entirely the opposite.

She was convinced that the boy was alive, but she suffered terribly.

She was sure that the boy was alive, but she was in great pain.

There came a time—it was in early April—when one felt that the strain could not last. She seemed to lose all interest in the passing world and lived entirely within herself. Even the arrival of Lily’s baby did not rouse her. She looked at the child queerly, as though she doubted whether any useful or happy purpose was served by its appearance.

There came a time—it was in early April—when one felt that the strain couldn't go on. She seemed to lose all interest in the world around her and lived only in her own head. Even the arrival of Lily's baby didn't wake her up. She looked at the child oddly, as if she questioned whether its presence really served any useful or happy purpose.

It was a boy.

It was a guy.

In spite of her averred optimism she lost her tremulous sense of apprehension when the bell went or the front door was tapped. She let the milkman—and even the postman—wait.

Despite her claimed optimism, she couldn't shake her nervous sense of dread whenever the bell rang or the front door was knocked on. She made the milkman—and even the postman—wait.

When she spoke it was invariably of things that happened years ago.

When she talked, it was always about things that happened years ago.

Sometimes she talked about the Stellings, and on one Sunday she made a strange pilgrimage out to Finchley and visited Mr. Stelling’s grave. I don’t know what she did there, but she returned looking very exhausted and unwell. As a matter of fact, she was[187] unwell for some days after this visit, and she suffered violent twinges of rheumatism in her legs.

Sometimes she talked about the Stellings, and one Sunday she made a strange trip out to Finchley and visited Mr. Stelling’s grave. I don’t know what she did there, but she came back looking very worn out and unwell. In fact, she was[187] unwell for several days after this visit, and she had painful twinges of rheumatism in her legs.

I now come to my most unforgettable vision of Mrs. Ward.

I now come to my most memorable vision of Mrs. Ward.

It was a day at the end of April, and warm for the time of year. I was standing in the garden with her and it was nearly dark. A goods train had been shunting, and making a great deal of noise in front of the house, and at last had disappeared. I had not been able to help noticing that Mrs. Ward’s garden was curiously neglected for her for the time of year. The grass was growing on the paths, and the snails had left their silver trail over all the fences.

It was a day at the end of April, and it was warm for the season. I was standing in the garden with her, and it was almost dark. A goods train had been moving around, making a lot of noise in front of the house, and finally it had gone. I couldn’t help but notice that Mrs. Ward’s garden was surprisingly neglected for this time of year. The grass was growing on the paths, and the snails had left their shiny trails all over the fences.

I was telling her a rumor I had heard about the railway porter and his wife at number twenty-three, and she seemed fairly interested, for she had known John Hemsley, the porter, fifteen years ago when Ernie was a baby. There were two old broken Windsor chairs out in the garden, and on one was a zinc basin in which were some potatoes. She was peeling them, as Lily and her husband were coming to supper. By the kitchen door was a small sink. When she had finished the potatoes, she stood up and began to pour the water down the sink, taking care not to let the skins go too. I was noticing her old bent back, and her long bony hands gripping the sides of the basin, when suddenly a figure came limping round the bend of the house from the side passage, and two arms were thrown round her waist, and a voice said:

I was telling her a rumor I heard about the railway porter and his wife at number twenty-three, and she seemed pretty interested because she had known John Hemsley, the porter, fifteen years ago when Ernie was a baby. There were two old broken Windsor chairs in the garden, and on one, there was a zinc basin with some potatoes in it. She was peeling them as Lily and her husband were coming for dinner. By the kitchen door was a small sink. After she finished with the potatoes, she stood up and started pouring the water down the sink, making sure not to let the skins slip in too. I noticed her old hunched back and her long bony hands gripping the sides of the basin when suddenly, a figure came limping around the corner of the house from the side passage, and two arms were thrown around her waist, and a voice said:

[188]

[188]

“Mind them skins don’t go down the sink, mother. They’ll stop it up!”

“Watch out for those peels, Mom. They’ll clog the sink!”

VI

As I explained to Ernie afterwards, it was an extremely foolish thing to do. If his mother had had anything wrong with her heart, it might have been very serious. There have been many cases of people dying from the shock of such an experience.

As I told Ernie later, it was a really stupid thing to do. If his mom had any issues with her heart, it could have been really serious. There have been lots of cases of people dying from the shock of that kind of experience.

As it was, she merely dropped the basin and stood there trembling like a leaf, and Ernie laughed loud and uproariously. It must have been three or four minutes before she could regain her speech, and then all she could manage to say was:

As it was, she just dropped the basin and stood there shaking like a leaf, and Ernie laughed loudly and uncontrollably. It must have been three or four minutes before she could find her voice again, and even then, all she could manage to say was:

“Ernie!... My Ernie!”

"Ernie!... My Ernie!"

And the boy laughed, and ragged his mother, and pulled her into the house, and Tom appeared and stared at his son, and said feebly:

And the boy laughed, teased his mother, and pulled her into the house, and Tom showed up and looked at his son, and said weakly:

“Well, I never!”

"Well, I can't believe it!"

I don’t know how it was that I found myself intruding upon the sanctity of the inner life of the Ward family that evening. I had never had a meal there before, but I felt that I was holding a sort of watching brief over the soul and body of Mrs. Ward. I had a little medical training in my early youth, and this may have been one of the reasons which prompted me to stay.

I’m not sure how I ended up intruding on the private life of the Ward family that evening. I had never eaten a meal there before, but I felt like I was keeping an eye on Mrs. Ward’s well-being. I had some medical training when I was younger, and that might have been part of why I decided to stick around.

When Lily and her husband appeared we sat down to a meal of mashed potatoes and onions stewed in milk, with bread and cheese, and very excellent it was.

When Lily and her husband showed up, we sat down to a meal of mashed potatoes and onions cooked in milk, with bread and cheese, and it was really good.

[189]

[189]

Lily and her husband took the whole thing in a boisterous, high comedy manner that fitted in with the mood of Ernie. Old Tom sat there staring at his son, and repeating at intervals:

Lily and her husband approached the whole situation with a loud, comedic attitude that matched Ernie's vibe. Old Tom sat there, staring at his son and repeating every so often:

“Well, I never!”

"Wow, I can't believe it!"

And Mrs. Ward hovered round the boy’s plate. Her eyes divided their time between his plate and his face, and she hardly spoke all the evening.

And Mrs. Ward hovered around the boy's plate. Her eyes shifted between his plate and his face, and she barely spoke throughout the evening.

Ernie’s story was remarkable enough. He told it disconnectedly and rather incoherently. There were moments when he rambled in a rather peculiar way, and sometimes he stammered, and seemed unable to frame a sentence. Lily’s husband went out to fetch some beer to celebrate the joyful occasion, and Ernie drank his in little sips, and spluttered. The boy must have suffered considerably, and he had a wound in the abdomen, and another in the right forearm which for a time had paralyzed him.

Ernie’s story was impressive enough. He told it in a disjointed and somewhat confusing manner. There were times when he rambled in a strange way, and occasionally he stammered and seemed unable to form a complete sentence. Lily’s husband stepped out to grab some beer to celebrate the happy occasion, and Ernie drank his in small sips and sputtered. The kid must have gone through a lot, and he had an injury in his abdomen, as well as another in his right forearm which had temporarily left him paralyzed.

As far as I could gather, his story was this:

As far as I could tell, his story was this:

He and a platoon of men had been ambushed and had had to surrender. When being sent back to a base, three of them tried to escape from the train, which had been held up at night. He did not know what had happened to the other two men, but it was on this occasion that he received his abdominal wound at the hands of a guard.

He and a group of men had been ambushed and had to surrender. While being taken back to a base, three of them tried to escape from the train, which had been stopped at night. He didn't know what happened to the other two men, but it was during this incident that he got his abdominal wound from a guard.

He had then been sent to some infirmary where he was fairly well treated, but as soon as his wound had healed a little, he had been suddenly sent to some fortress prison, presumably as a punishment. He hadn’t[190] the faintest idea how long he had been confined there. He said it seemed like fifteen years. It was probably nine months. He had solitary confinement in a cell, which was like a small lavatory. He had fifteen minutes’ exercise every day in a yard with some other prisoners, who were Russians he thought. He spoke to no one. He used to sing and recite in his cell, and there were times when he was quite convinced that he was “off his chump.” He said he had lost “all sense of everything” when he was suddenly transferred to another prison. Here the conditions were somewhat better and he was made to work. He said he wrote six or seven letters home from there, but received no reply. The letters certainly never reached Dalston. The food was execrable, but a big improvement on the dungeon. He was only there a few weeks when he and some thirty other prisoners were sent suddenly to work on the land at a kind of settlement. He said that the life there would have been tolerable if it hadn’t been for the fact that the Commandant was an absolute brute. The food was worse than in the prison, and they were punished severely for the most trivial offenses.

He had been taken to an infirmary where he was treated decently, but as soon as his wound had healed a bit, he was abruptly sent to a fortress prison, likely as punishment. He had no idea how long he had been trapped there. He said it felt like fifteen years, but it was probably just nine months. He had solitary confinement in a tiny cell that was like a small bathroom. He got fifteen minutes of exercise every day in a yard with some other prisoners, who he thought were Russian. He didn’t talk to anyone. He used to sing and recite in his cell, and there were times when he really believed he was “losing it.” He said he had lost “all sense of everything” when he was suddenly moved to another prison. Here, the conditions were a bit better, and he was forced to work. He mentioned he wrote six or seven letters home from there, but got no response. The letters definitely never made it to Dalston. The food was terrible, but a significant improvement from the dungeon. He was only there a few weeks when he and about thirty other prisoners were suddenly sent to work on the land at some kind of settlement. He said the life there would have been bearable if it hadn’t been for the fact that the Commandant was a total brute. The food was worse than in the prison, and they were punished harshly for the smallest mistakes.

It was here, however, that he met a sailor named Martin, a Royal Naval reservist, an elderly thickset man with a black heard and only one eye. Ernie said that this Martin “was an artist. He wangled everything. He had a genius for getting what he wanted. He would get a beef-steak out of stone.” In fact, it was obvious that the whole of Ernie’s narrative was colored by his vision of Martin. He said he’d never[191] met such a chap in his life. He admired him enormously, and he was also a little afraid of him.

It was here, though, that he met a sailor named Martin, a Royal Naval reservist, an older, stocky man with a black beard and only one eye. Ernie said that this Martin “was an artist. He could charm his way into anything. He had a talent for getting what he wanted. He could get a steak from a rock.” In fact, it was clear that the whole of Ernie’s story was shaped by his perception of Martin. He claimed he’d never met anyone like him in his life. He admired him a lot, and he was also a bit scared of him.

By some miraculous means peculiar to sailors, Martin acquired a compass. Ernie hardly knew what a compass was, but the sailor explained to him that it was all that was necessary to take you straight to England. Ernie said he “had had enough escaping. It didn’t agree with his health,” but so strong was his faith and belief in Martin that he ultimately agreed to try with him.

By some miraculous means unique to sailors, Martin got a compass. Ernie barely knew what a compass was, but the sailor explained that it was all you needed to get straight to England. Ernie said he "had had enough of escaping. It didn’t agree with his health,” but his faith and trust in Martin were so strong that he eventually agreed to give it a shot with him.

He said Martin’s method of escape was the coolest thing he’d ever seen. He planned it all beforehand. It was the fag-end of the day, and the whistle had gone and the prisoners were trooping back across a potato field. Martin and Ernie were very slow. They lingered apparently to discuss some matter connected with the soil. There were two sentries in sight, one near them and the other perhaps a hundred yards away. The potato field was on a slope and at the bottom of the field were two lines of barbed wire entanglements. The other prisoners passed out of sight, and the sentry near them called out something, probably telling them to hurry up. They started to go up the field when suddenly Martin staggered and clutched his throat. Then he fell over backwards and commenced to have an epileptic fit. Ernie said it was the realest thing he’d ever seen. The sentry ran up, at the same time whistling to his comrade. Ernie released Martin’s collar-band and tried to help him. Both the sentries approached, and Ernie stood back. He saw[192] them bending over the prostrate man, when suddenly a most extraordinary thing happened. Both their heads were brought together with fearful violence. One fell completely senseless, but the other staggered forward and groped for his rifle.

He said Martin's escape plan was the coolest thing he'd ever seen. He had it all figured out in advance. It was the end of the day, and the whistle had blown, signaling the prisoners to head back across a potato field. Martin and Ernie were moving really slowly, lingering as if they were discussing something about the soil. There were two guards visible, one close to them and the other about a hundred yards away. The potato field sloped down, and at the bottom were two lines of barbed wire. The other prisoners disappeared from view, and the guard nearby shouted something, probably telling them to hurry. They started to walk up the field when suddenly Martin staggered and grabbed his throat. Then he fell backward and started having an epileptic fit. Ernie said it looked extremely convincing. The guard rushed over while whistling for his partner. Ernie loosened Martin’s collar and tried to help him. Both guards came closer, and Ernie stepped back. He watched them lean over the fallen man when suddenly something incredible happened. Their heads collided with a terrifying force. One guard went completely limp, while the other staggered forward, reaching for his rifle.

When Ernie told this part of the story he kept dabbing his forehead with his handkerchief.

When Ernie shared this part of the story, he kept wiping his forehead with his handkerchief.

“I never seen such a man as Martin I don’t think,” he said. “Lord! He had a fist like a leg of mutton. He laid ’em out neatly on the grass, took off their coats and most of their other clothes, and flung ’em over the barbed wire and then swarmed over like a cat. I had more difficulty, but he got me across too, somehow. Then we carted the clothes away to the next line.

“I’ve never seen a man like Martin, I don’t think,” he said. “Wow! He had a fist like a leg of mutton. He laid them out neatly on the grass, took off their coats and most of their other clothes, and tossed them over the barbed wire and then climbed over like a cat. I had a harder time, but he somehow got me across too. Then we carried the clothes away to the next line.

“We got up into a wood that night, and Martin draws out his compass and he says: ‘We’ve got a hundred and seven miles to do in night shifts, cully. And if we make a slip we’re shot as safe as knife.’ It sounded the maddest scheme in the world, but I somehow felt that Martin would get through it. The only thing that saved me was that—that I didn’t have to think. I simply left everything to him. If I’d started thinking I could have gone mad. I had it fixed in my mind, ‘either he does it or he doesn’t do it. I can’t help it.’ I reely don’t remember much about that journey. It was all a dream like. We did all our travelin’ at night by compass, and hid by day. Neither of us had a word of German. But Gawd’s truth! that man Martin was a marvel! He turned our trousers inside out, and made ’em look like ordinary laborers’[193] trousers. He disappeared the first night and came back with some other old clothes. We lived mostly on raw potatoes we dug out of the ground with our hands, but not always. One night he came back with a fowl which he cooked in a hole in the earth, making a fire with a flint and some dry stuff he pinched from a farm. I believed Martin could have stole an egg from under a hen without her noticing it. He was the coolest card there ever was. Of course there was a lot of trouble one way and another. It wasn’t always easy to find wooded country or protection of any sort. We often ran into people and they stared at us, and we shifted our course. But I think we were only addressed three or four times by men, and then Martin’s methods were the simplest in the world. He just looked sort of blank for a moment, and then knocked them clean out, and bolted. Of course they were after us all the time, and it was this constant tacking and shifting ground that took so long. Fancy! he never had a map, you know, nothing but the compass. We didn’t know what sort of country we were coming to, nothing. We just crept through the night like cats. I believe Martin could see in the dark.... He killed a dog one night with his hands.... It was necessary.”

“We hiked into the woods that night, and Martin pulls out his compass and says, ‘We’ve got a hundred and seven miles to cover in night shifts, buddy. And if we mess up, we’re as good as dead.’ It seemed like the craziest plan ever, but I had a feeling Martin would pull it off. The only thing that kept me going was that I didn’t have to think. I just let him handle everything. If I had started thinking, I might have lost my mind. I kept telling myself, ‘Either he makes it or he doesn’t. I can’t do anything about it.’ Honestly, I don’t remember much about that journey. It felt like a dream. We did all our traveling at night using the compass and hid during the day. Neither of us spoke a word of German. But I swear! that guy Martin was amazing! He turned our pants inside out and made them look like regular working-class trousers. He vanished the first night and came back with some old clothes. We mostly survived on raw potatoes we dug up with our hands, but not always. One night he came back with a bird that he cooked in a hole in the ground, starting a fire with a flint and some dry stuff he took from a farm. I believed Martin could have stolen an egg from under a hen without her noticing. He was the coolest person ever. Of course, there was a lot of trouble here and there. It wasn’t always easy to find wooded areas or any kind of shelter. We often encountered people who stared at us, so we changed our direction. But I think men only spoke to us three or four times, and Martin's methods were the simplest. He’d just look a bit blank for a moment and then knock them out cold and run. They were after us constantly, and it was this constant evading and shifting that took so long. Imagine! he didn’t have a map, just the compass. We had no idea what kind of terrain was ahead of us, nothing. We just crept through the night like cats. I believe Martin could see in the dark... He killed a dog one night with his bare hands... It was necessary."

VII

It was impossible to discover from Ernie how long this amazing journey lasted—the best part of two months I believe. He was himself a little uncertain[194] with regard to many incidents, whether they were true or whether they were hallucinations. He suffered greatly from his wound and had periods of feverishness. But one morning, he said, Martin began “prancing.” He seemed to develop some curious sense that they were near the Dutch frontier. And then, according to Ernie, “a cat wasn’t in it with Martin.”

It was impossible to find out from Ernie how long this incredible journey lasted—probably the better part of two months, I think. He was a little unsure about many of the events, unsure whether they were real or just hallucinations. He was in a lot of pain from his injury and had bouts of fever. But one morning, he said, Martin started “prancing.” He seemed to have some strange intuition that they were close to the Dutch border. And then, according to Ernie, “a cat wasn’t in it with Martin.”

He was very mysterious about the actual crossing. I gathered that there had been some “clumsy” work with sentries. It was at that time that Ernie got a bullet through his arm. When he got to Holland he was very ill. It was not that the wound was a very serious one, but, as he explained:

He was pretty vague about the actual crossing. I figured there had been some "clumsy" actions with the guards. That’s when Ernie got shot in the arm. When he reached Holland, he was really sick. It wasn't that the wound was severe, but as he put it:

“Me blood was in a bad state. I was nearly down and out.”

“My blood was in a bad way. I was almost out of it.”

He was very kindly treated by some Dutch Sisters in a convent hospital. But he was delirious for a long time, and when he became more normal they wanted to communicate with his people in England, but this didn’t appeal to the dramatic sense of Ernie.

He was treated very kindly by some Dutch Sisters in a convent hospital. But he was delirious for a long time, and when he started to recover, they wanted to get in touch with his people in England. However, this didn’t appeal to Ernie’s dramatic sense.

“I thought I’d spring a surprise packet on you,” he said, grinning.

“I thought I’d surprise you,” he said, grinning.

We asked about Martin, but Ernie said he never saw him again. He went away while Ernie was delirious, and they said he had gone to Rotterdam to take ship somewhere. He thought Holland was a dull place.

We asked about Martin, but Ernie said he never saw him again. He left while Ernie was out of it, and they said he had gone to Rotterdam to catch a ship somewhere. He thought Holland was a boring place.

During the relation of this narrative my attention was divided between watching the face of Ernie and the face of Ernie’s mother.

During the telling of this story, I found myself paying equal attention to Ernie's face and to his mother's face.

I am quite convinced that she did not listen to the[195] story at all. She never took her eyes from his face, and although her tongue was following the flow of his remarks, her mind was occupied with the vision of Ernie when he was a little boy, and when he ordered five tons of coal to be sent to the girls’ school.

I’m pretty sure she didn’t listen to the[195] story at all. She never looked away from his face, and even though she was nodding along with what he was saying, her thoughts were focused on the image of Ernie when he was a kid, especially when he ordered five tons of coal to be sent to the girls' school.

When he had finished she said:

When he was done, she said:

“Did you meet either of them young Stellings?”

“Did you meet either of those young Stellings?”

And Ernie laughed rather uproariously and said no, he didn’t have the pleasure of renewing their acquaintance.

And Ernie laughed loudly and said no, he didn’t have the pleasure of reconnecting with them.

On his way home, it appeared, he had reported himself at headquarters, and his discharge was inevitable.

On his way home, it seemed he had checked in at headquarters, and his discharge was unavoidable.

“So now you’ll be able to finish the rabbit-hutch,” said Lily’s husband, and we all laughed again, with the exception of Mrs. Ward.

“So now you’ll be able to finish the rabbit hutch,” said Lily’s husband, and we all laughed again, except for Mrs. Ward.

I found her later standing alone in the garden. It was a warm Spring night. There was no moon, but the sky appeared restless with its burden of trembling stars. She had an old shawl drawn round her shoulders, and she stood there very silently, with her arms crossed.

I found her later standing alone in the garden. It was a warm spring night. There was no moon, but the sky looked restless with its load of trembling stars. She had an old shawl wrapped around her shoulders, and she stood there very quietly, with her arms crossed.

“Well, this is splendid news, Mrs. Ward,” I said.

“Well, this is great news, Mrs. Ward,” I said.

She started a little, and coughed, and pulled the shawl closer round her.

She jumped a bit, coughed, and wrapped the shawl tighter around herself.

She said, “Yes, sir,” very faintly.

She said, “Yeah, sure,” very softly.

I don’t think she was very conscious of me. She still appeared immersed in the contemplation of her inner visions. Her eyes settled upon the empty house next door, and I thought I detected the trail of a tear glistening on her cheeks. I lighted my pipe. We[196] could hear Ernie, and Lily, and Lily’s husband still laughing and talking inside.

I don’t think she was really aware of me. She still looked lost in her own thoughts. Her gaze was fixed on the empty house next door, and I thought I saw a tear shining on her cheeks. I lit my pipe. We[196] could hear Ernie, Lily, and Lily’s husband still laughing and chatting inside.

“She used to make a very good puddin’,” Mrs. Ward said suddenly, at random. “Dried fruit inside, and that. My Ernie liked it very much....”

“She used to make a really great pudding,” Mrs. Ward said out of the blue. “With dried fruit inside and all that. My Ernie loved it a lot....”

Somewhere away in the distance—probably outside “The Unicorn”—some one was playing a cornet. A train crashed by and disappeared, leaving a trail of foul smoke which obscured the sky. The smoke cleared slowly away. I struck another match to light my pipe.

Somewhere in the distance—probably outside “The Unicorn”—someone was playing a cornet. A train rushed by and vanished, leaving a cloud of terrible smoke that blocked the sky. The smoke gradually cleared. I struck another match to light my pipe.

It was quite true. On either side of her cheek a tear had trickled. She was trembling a little, worn out by the emotions of the evening.

It was definitely true. A tear had runs down each side of her cheek. She was shaking a bit, exhausted from the emotions of the evening.

There was a moment of silence, unusual for Dalston.

There was a moment of silence, which was unusual for Dalston.

“It’s all very ... perplexin’ and that,” she said quietly.

“It’s all really ... confusing and all that,” she said quietly.

And then I knew for certain that in that great hour of her happiness her mind was assailed by strange and tremulous doubts. She was thinking of “them others” a little wistfully. She was doubting whether one could rejoice—when the thing became clear and actual to one—without sending out one’s thoughts into the dark garden to “them others” who were suffering too. And she had come out into this little meager yard at Dalston and had gazed through the mist and smoke upwards to the stars, because she wanted peace intensely, and so she sought it within herself, because she knew that real peace is a thing which concerns the heart alone.

And then I realized for sure that in that big moment of her happiness, her mind was filled with strange and shaky doubts. She was thinking about "those others" with a hint of longing. She was unsure if one could truly celebrate—once it all became clear and real to her—without sending thoughts out into the dark garden to "those others" who were suffering too. She had stepped outside into this small, bare yard in Dalston and looked through the mist and smoke up at the stars because she intensely wanted peace, so she sought it within herself, knowing that true peace is something that touches only the heart.

And so I left her standing there, and I went my way, for I knew that she was wiser than I.

And so I left her standing there and went on my way, because I knew she was wiser than I was.


[197]

[197]

THE BENT TREE

[198]

[198]


[199]

[199]

THE BENT TREE

The call was irresistible. I had tramped for nearly two hours along the white road, when suddenly a long stretch of open heath with sparsely-scattered trees and high gorse bushes invited me to break my journey and to seek the shade of a wood that fringed it on the western side. The ground sloped upwards at a steep gradient and I was soon among the cool shadows of the larch trees. After climbing for nearly half-an-hour I found myself on a kind of plateau, looking down upon one of the most beautiful sights in the world, the Weald of Sussex trembling in a gray heat mist framed through a thin belt of trees. I pushed forward, determining to rest in this most attractive spot. Nearing the fringe of this little clump, I observed a bent tree in a clearing. As I approached it it occurred to me that the subject before me was curiously like Corot’s famous masterpiece. It was indeed a wonderful and romantic spot. Beneath me a river rambled through the meadows and became lost in the gray-line distances. There was no sign of civilization except sleepy cattle and the well-kept fields, and occasionally a village nestling in the hollow of the downs. The only sound was the movement of leaves, the drone of bees and the lowing of cattle in the distant meadows.

The call was too tempting to ignore. I had walked for nearly two hours along the white road when suddenly, a long stretch of open heath with scattered trees and tall gorse bushes called me to take a break and find shade in the woods that bordered it on the west. The ground sloped steeply upward, and soon I was among the cool shadows of the larch trees. After climbing for nearly half an hour, I reached a kind of plateau, overlooking one of the most beautiful sights in the world—the Weald of Sussex shimmering in a gray heat haze framed by a thin line of trees. I moved forward, planning to rest in this lovely spot. As I got closer to the edge of this little grove, I noticed a bent tree in a clearing. When I approached it, I realized it looked strikingly similar to Corot’s famous masterpiece. It was truly a stunning and romantic place. Below me, a river meandered through the meadows, disappearing into the gray distance. There were no signs of civilization except sleepy cattle and well-maintained fields, with the occasional village nestled in the hollow of the downs. The only sounds came from rustling leaves, buzzing bees, and the distant lowing of cattle in the meadows.

[200]

[200]

I sat down on the bent tree, and as I looked around it occurred to me that the spot I had chosen was like a little arbor. It might have been the home of some God of ancient Britain, who could have lived here undisturbed through all the generations. I was wondering whether any one else had ever penetrated to this glorious retreat from the world when my eye caught a small square of white paper pinned on the trunk of the bent tree. I examined it, and lo! on it was written in ink: “Gone to lunch, Back in 20 Minutes.

I sat down on the bent tree, and as I looked around, it hit me that the spot I had chosen was like a little secret garden. It could have been the home of some ancient British God, living here peacefully for generations. I was curious if anyone else had ever found this beautiful escape from the world when I noticed a small square of white paper pinned to the trunk of the bent tree. I took a closer look, and there it was, written in ink: “Out to lunch, back in 20 minutes.

Now if there is one thing that makes me wretchedly unhappy it is the action of people who find pleasure in disfiguring nature, in carving their initials on tree-trunks, in scattering paper and orange-peel about the country-side; but somehow, when I caught sight of this absurd city office formula pinned to a tree in this most inaccessible and romantic spot, I must confess that “my lungs did crow like Chanticleer.” I felt that here indeed was the work of a vast and subtle humorist. The formula was so familiar. How often had I waited hours in murky passages, buoyed up by this engaging promise! It seemed so redolent of drab staircases, and files and roll-top desks, that its very mention out here struck a fantastic note. That any one should suggest that he carried on a business here, that his time was precious, that after gulping down a cup of coffee, he would rush back, cope with increasing press of affairs, seemed to me wonderfully and amazingly funny. I must acknowledge that I made myself rather ridiculous. I laughed till the tears streamed down my face, and my[201] only desire was for a companion with whom to share the manna of this gigantic jest. I looked at the card again. It was comparatively clean, so I presumed that the joke had been perpetrated quite recently.

Now, if there’s one thing that makes me terribly unhappy, it’s when people get joy out of ruining nature—like carving their initials into tree trunks or throwing trash and orange peels around the countryside. But somehow, when I saw this ridiculous office notice pinned to a tree in this beautiful and remote spot, I have to admit that “my lungs did crow like Chanticleer.” I realized that here was the work of a grand and clever humorist. The notice was so familiar. How many times had I waited for hours in dingy hallways, uplifted by this enticing promise? It was so reminiscent of dull staircases, files, and roll-top desks that just hearing it mentioned out here felt surreal. The idea that someone would imply he worked here, that his time was valuable, and that after downing a cup of coffee he’d rush back to deal with a growing pile of work seemed wonderfully absurd and hilarious. I have to admit I made myself look kind of silly. I laughed until tears streamed down my face, and all I wanted was someone to share in the humor of this enormous joke. I looked at the card again. It was fairly clean, so I figured the joke had been made quite recently.

And then I began to wonder whether the jester would return, whether, after all, the slip had any significance. Was it the message of a poacher to a friend? Or was this the secret meeting place of some gods of High Finance? I determined in any case to wait the allotted span, and in the meantime I stretched myself on the stem of the bent tree, and, lighting a cigarette, prepared to enjoy the tranquillity of the scene.

And then I started to wonder if the jester would come back, and if the slip meant anything at all. Was it a message from a poacher to a friend? Or was this the hidden meeting spot for some gods of High Finance? I decided to wait the expected time anyway, and in the meantime, I lay on the trunk of the bent tree, lit a cigarette, and got ready to enjoy the calmness of the scene.

It was barely ten minutes before my siesta was disturbed by a man coming stealthily up the slope. He was a medium-sized, sallow-faced fellow with small tired eyes set in dark hollows. He was wearing a tail-coat and a bowler hat. He shuffled quickly through the wood, pushing the branches of the trees away from him. His eyes fixed me furtively, and as he entered the little arbor, he took off his hat and fidgeted with it, as though looking for a customary hook on which to hang it.

It was barely ten minutes before my nap was interrupted by a man stealthily making his way up the slope. He was a medium-built, sallow-faced guy with small, tired eyes set in dark hollows. He wore a tailcoat and a bowler hat. He quickly shuffled through the woods, pushing the branches of the trees aside. His eyes darted towards me, and as he stepped into the small gazebo, he took off his hat and fiddled with it, as if searching for a hook to hang it on.

“I hope I haven’t kept you waiting?” was his greeting.

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting?” was his greeting.

“Not at all,” I found myself answering, for lack of a more suitable reply.

"Not at all," I responded, since I couldn't think of a better answer.

“Did Binders send you?” he asked tentatively.

“Did Binders send you?” he asked cautiously.

“No,” I replied, pulling myself together. “I just happened to come here.”

“No,” I replied, getting myself together. “I just happened to be here.”

A look of disappointment passed over his face. “Oh!” he said, walking up and down. “I sometimes[202] do a bit with Binders and his friends, you know”—he waved his arms vaguely—“you know, from Corlesham.”

A look of disappointment crossed his face. “Oh!” he said, pacing back and forth. “I sometimes [202] do a bit with Binders and his friends, you know”—he waved his arms vaguely—“you know, from Corlesham.”

Corlesham I knew to be a village rather more than two miles away, a sleepy hamlet of less than fifty souls.

Corlesham was a village I knew to be just over two miles away, a quiet little community of fewer than fifty residents.

“Oh, I see,” I replied, more with the idea of not discouraging him than because any particular light had come to me.

“Oh, I see,” I replied, more to avoid discouraging him than because I had any particular insight.

He looked at me searchingly for some moments, and then, going over to a thick gorse-bush, he knelt down and groped underneath and presently produced a thick pile of papers and circulars.

He looked at me intently for a few moments, and then, walking over to a thick gorse bush, he knelt down and felt around underneath it. Soon, he pulled out a large stack of papers and circulars.

“I wonder whether you would like to do anything in these? These West Australians are good. They’re right down to 65. If you can hold on, a sure thing. If you would like a couple of thousand now....” he was nervously biting his nails; then he said, “Could you spare me a cigarette?”

“I wonder if you'd be interested in doing anything with these? These West Australians are solid. They're down to 65. If you can wait, it’s a sure thing. If you’d like a couple of grand now...,” he was nervously biting his nails; then he said, “Could you lend me a cigarette?”

I produced my case and handed him one.

I made my case and handed him one.

“Thanks very much,” he said. “They don’t like me to smoke at home,” and he waved his hand towards the north. I followed the direction, and just caught sight of the top of a gable of a large red-brick building through the trees.

“Thanks a lot,” he said. “They don’t want me to smoke at home,” and he gestured toward the north. I followed his gaze and barely glimpsed the top of a gable of a big red-brick building through the trees.

So this was the solution!

So this was the fix!

“This is a glorious place,” I said.

“This is an amazing place,” I said.

This seemed a very harmless platitude and one not likely to drive a being to despair. But it had a strange effect on my individual, for he sat down on a broken branch and burst into a paroxysm of invective.

This seemed like a harmless cliché that wouldn’t push anyone to despair. But it had a weird effect on him, as he sat down on a broken branch and erupted into a fit of anger.

[203]

[203]

“Oh, Gawd!” he said. “I hate it, hate the sight of it! Day after day—all the same! All these blinkin’ trees and fields—all the same, nothing happenin’ ever.”

“Oh, God!” he said. “I can’t stand it, can’t stand looking at it! Day after day—it’s all the same! All these damn trees and fields—everything’s the same, nothing ever happens.”

I found it very difficult to meet this outburst. I could think of nothing to say, so I kept silent. After a time he got up, puffing feverishly at the cigarette, and walked round the little arbor. Every now and then he would stop and make a gesture towards the shrubs. I believe he was visualizing files and folios, ledgers, and typewriters. He made a movement of opening and shutting drawers.

I found it really hard to respond to this outburst. I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just stayed quiet. After a while, he got up, intensely puffing on the cigarette, and walked around the small gazebo. Every so often, he would stop and gesture towards the bushes. I think he was imagining files and folders, ledgers, and typewriters. He made a motion like he was opening and closing drawers.

“You’ve been a bit run down, haven’t you?” I said at last, with a feeble attempt to bridge the gulf.

“You’ve been feeling a bit out of sorts, haven’t you?” I finally said, making a weak attempt to close the gap.

He looked at me uncertainly, and wiped the perspiration from his brow.

He looked at me unsure, and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

“I was unlucky,” he said sullenly. “I worked like a nigger for thirty years, but so do the others—lots of them—and they’re all right. Just sheer bad luck, if you know what I mean. I can do it now when they let me. That’s why I come here. Binders helps me a bit. He sends me people. And, do you know?” he whispered to me confidentially, “I’ve got the postman on my side. He delivers me letters here at twopence a time. Look! here is my mail-box!” He stooped down and lifted a large stone and produced a further pile of correspondence and circulars. “Would you like to buy some of these Trinidads? I could work it for you.”

“I was unfortunate,” he said gloomily. “I worked really hard for thirty years, but so do others—lots of them—and they’re doing fine. Just pure bad luck, if you know what I mean. I can manage it now when they allow me to. That’s why I come here. Binders helps me a little. He sends me people. And, do you know?” he whispered to me confidentially, “I’ve got the postman on my side. He delivers my letters here for two pence each. Look! Here’s my mailbox!” He bent down and lifted a large stone, revealing another pile of correspondence and circulars. “Would you like to buy some of these Trinidads? I could make it work for you.”

He looked at me anxiously, and I made some elaborate excuse for not seizing such a splendid opportunity.[204] He sighed, and placed the papers back under the stone.

He looked at me nervously, and I came up with a complicated excuse for not taking such a great opportunity.[204] He sighed and put the papers back under the stone.

“Have you ever dealt in big things?” he asked.

"Have you ever been involved in major things?" he asked.

“I’m afraid not—in your sense,” I answered, nurturing an instinctive sense of outraged superiority against this person who I felt despised me.

“I’m afraid not—in the way you mean,” I replied, feeling a natural sense of angry superiority towards this person who I sensed looked down on me.

“You know what I mean by big things,” he said fiercely. “Millions and millions, and the lives and works of millions of people! Do you know why I come down here to this rotten little clearing? Because it sometimes reminds me of my office off Throgmorton Street. Look! It was just this size. I had my desk over there. Horswall, my secretary, had his desk here. Here was the fireplace. The press just here by the window. Here the shelves with all the files. Can you imagine what it’s like to have been there all those years, to have worked up what I did—all out of nothing, mark you!—to have got the whole rubber market in the hollow of my hand!—and then, oh, God! to be condemned to—this!” and he made a gesture of fierce contempt towards the Weald of Sussex.

“You know what I mean by big things,” he said fiercely. “Millions and millions, and the lives and works of millions of people! Do you know why I come down here to this miserable little clearing? Because it sometimes reminds me of my office off Throgmorton Street. Look! It was just this size. I had my desk over there. Horswall, my secretary, had his desk here. Here was the fireplace. The press was just here by the window. Here were the shelves with all the files. Can you imagine what it’s like to have been there all those years, to have worked up what I did—all out of nothing, mind you!—to have had the whole rubber market in the palm of my hand!—and then, oh, God! to be condemned to—this!” and he made a gesture of fierce contempt towards the Weald of Sussex.

“For nearly two years now,” he continued, “I’ve been living in this hole.”

“For almost two years now,” he went on, “I’ve been living in this hole.”

“Nature has a way,” I said, in my most sententious manner, “of coming back on us.”

“Nature has a way,” I said, in my most serious tone, “of coming back to us.”

“Naycher! Naycher!” he almost screamed. “Don’t talk to me about Naycher! What sort of friend is Naycher to me or you? Naycher gives you inclinations, and then breaks you for following them! Two men fall into a pond—what does Naycher care that one man was trying to drown his enemy while[205] the other was trying to save a dog? They both stand their chance of death. Naycher leads you up blind alleys and into marshes and lets you rot. Besides, isn’t man Naycher? Isn’t it Naycher for me to work and make money, as it is for these blighting birds to sing? Aren’t roll-top desks as much Naycher as—these blasted trees?”

“Nature! Nature!” he almost yelled. “Don’t talk to me about Nature! What kind of friend is Nature to me or you? Nature gives you urges and then punishes you for following them! Two men fall into a pond—what does Nature care that one man was trying to drown his enemy while the other was trying to save a dog? They both face the same risk of drowning. Nature leads you down dead ends and into swamps and just leaves you there. Besides, isn’t man a part of Nature? Isn’t it natural for me to work and earn money, just like these annoying birds sing? Aren’t roll-top desks just as much a part of Nature as these cursed trees?”

He blinked savagely at the surrounding scene. The smoke from a distant hamlet drifted sleepily heavenwards, like incense to the gods of the Downs.

He blinked fiercely at the scene around him. The smoke from a distant village floated lazily up to the sky, like incense to the gods of the Downs.

“My father was a turner in Walham Green, and he apprenticed me to the joinery, but I had my ambitions even in those times.” He nodded knowingly, and mopped his brow. “At eighteen I was a clerk in a wholesale house in St. Paul’s Churchyard. For three years I worked there underground, by artificial light. Then I got made sub-manager of a wharf at the South end of Lower Thames Street. I was there for five years, and saved nearly three hundred pounds out of a salary of £120 a year. Then I met Jettison, and we started that office together, Jettison & Gateshead, Commission Agents. Work and struggle, work and struggle, year after year. But it was not till I got on to rubber that I began to make things move. That was eight years after. Do you remember the boom? I got in with Gayo, who had lived out in the Malay Straits—knew everything—we got the whole game at our fingers’ ends. We knew just when to buy and just when to sell. Do you know, I’ve made as much as four thousand pounds in one afternoon, just talking on the[206] telephone! And we done it all in that little room”—he gazed jealously round the little arbor in the hills, and scowled at me. Then he produced a packet of cigarettes and lighted one from the stump of the last.

"My dad was a turner in Walham Green, and he trained me in joinery, but I had my own dreams even back then." He nodded knowingly and wiped his brow. "At eighteen, I was a clerk at a wholesale company in St. Paul’s Churchyard. I worked there for three years, underground and under artificial light. Then I became the sub-manager of a wharf at the south end of Lower Thames Street. I was there for five years and saved nearly three hundred pounds from a salary of £120 a year. Then I met Jettison, and we started an office together, Jettison & Gateshead, Commission Agents. It was all work and struggle, year after year. But it wasn’t until I got into rubber that things started to take off for me. That was eight years later. Do you remember the boom? I teamed up with Gayo, who had lived out in the Malay Straits—he knew everything—we had the whole trade down. We knew exactly when to buy and when to sell. You know, I made as much as four thousand pounds in one afternoon just by talking on the [206] phone! And we did it all in that little room"—he looked around the small arbor in the hills with envy and frowned at me. Then he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one from the end of the last.

“In those days, through Gayo’s friends, we followed the whole course of the raw stuff. Then Gayo went out to Malay, and he used to cable me every few days, putting me on to the right thing. My God, he was a man! It went on for two years, when suddenly a cable came to say he was dead—fever, or something, up-country. That was the end. The slump came soon after. I worked hard, but I never got control back. Down and down and down they went, as though Gayo was dragging them through the earth.” His lower lip trembled as he rolled the emaciated cigarette over.

“Back then, thanks to Gayo’s friends, we managed to track the entire journey of the raw material. Then Gayo went to Malay, and he used to send me cables every few days, keeping me informed about everything. My God, he was something else! This went on for two years, until one day I received a cable saying he had died—fever, or something, in the countryside. That was it. The crash came soon after. I worked hard, but I never regained control. They kept falling, as if Gayo was pulling them down into the ground.” His lower lip quivered as he rolled the thin cigarette between his fingers.

“Lord, what a fight I had, though I sat in that office there, in my shirt-sleeves, day and night for months on end, checking tapes, cabling, lying, faking, bluffing”—he chuckled with a meditative intensity. “I’d have done it then, if they’d given me time. But they closed in; there were two Scotch firms, and a man named Klaus. I knew they meant to do me down. There was a set against me. I wasn’t there in the end. I was sitting in the office one night....” He passed his hand over his brow and swept away a wasp that had settled there. He sat silent for some moments, as though trying to recall things, and twice started to speak without framing a sentence.

“Wow, what a battle I had, even though I was in that office, in my shirt sleeves, day and night for months, checking tapes, wiring, lying, faking, bluffing”—he chuckled with thoughtful intensity. “I could have done it back then if they had given me time. But they closed in; there were two Scottish firms and a guy named Klaus. I knew they were out to get me. There was a setup against me. In the end, I wasn’t there. I was sitting in the office one night....” He ran his hand over his forehead and brushed away a wasp that had landed there. He sat silent for a few moments, as if trying to remember things, and twice tried to speak without forming a complete sentence.

“My brother was very good to me,” he said suddenly,[207] waving his hand toward the red-brick gable in the trees. “He was very good to me all through.” Then he added, with a sort of contemptuous shrug, “In the cabinet-making he was; got a little works at Bow—made about four hundred a year—married, and five children.”

“My brother was really good to me,” he said suddenly,[207] waving his hand toward the red-brick gable in the trees. “He was really good to me the whole time.” Then he added, with a dismissive shrug, “He was in cabinet-making; had a small shop in Bow—made about four hundred a year—got married, and had five kids.”

He sat for some minutes with his head in his hands, and then he sat up and gazed upon the joyous landscape with unseeing eyes.

He sat for a few minutes with his head in his hands, and then he sat up and stared at the beautiful landscape with vacant eyes.

I ventured to remark, “Well, I’m sure this place ought to do you good.” He turned his melancholy eyes upon me, and sighed.

I said, “Well, I’m sure this place should do you good.” He looked at me with his sad eyes and sighed.

“Yes,” he said, after a pause. “You’re just the sort. I’ve seen so many of you about. Some of you have butterfly nets.” He kept repeating at intervals, “Butterfly-nets!” One felt that the last word in contumely had been uttered. He sank into an apathy of indifference. Then he broke out again.

“Yes,” he said after a moment. “You’re exactly the type. I’ve seen so many like you. Some of you have butterfly nets.” He kept insisting, “Butterfly nets!” It felt like he had delivered the ultimate insult. He fell into a state of indifference. Then he suddenly spoke up again.

“I tell you,” he uttered fiercely, “that I had millions and millions. I controlled the work and the lives of millions of men, and you come here and talk to me of Naycher. Look at these damned trees! They go green in the summer, yellow in the autumn, and bare in the winter. Year after year, exactly the same thing, and that’s all there is to it. I’m sick of the sight of them. But look at men! Think of their lives, the change and variety! What they can do! Their clothes, their furniture, their houses, their cities! Think of their power! The power of making and marring!”

“I’m telling you,” he said fiercely, “that I had millions and millions. I controlled the work and lives of millions of people, and you come here and talk to me about nature. Look at these damn trees! They turn green in the summer, yellow in the fall, and bare in the winter. Year after year, it’s always the same, and that’s all there is to it. I’m tired of looking at them. But think about people! Consider their lives, the change and variety! What they can create! Their clothes, their furniture, their homes, their cities! Think of their power! The power to create and destroy!”

[208]

[208]

“You mean the power of buying and selling,” I ventured.

“You mean the ability to buy and sell,” I said cautiously.

“Yes, that’s just it!” he said, feeling that he was converting me.

“Yes, that’s exactly it!” he said, feeling like he was winning me over.

“The power of buying and selling! Of making men rich or poor!” He stood up and waved his thin arms and gazed wildly round him. “Not chasing butterflies!”

“The power of buying and selling! Of making people rich or poor!” He stood up, waved his thin arms, and looked around wildly. “Not chasing butterflies!”

At that moment we both became aware that a third person was on the scene. He was a well set-up man, with broad shoulders and narrow hips. He was dressed in a dark-blue serge suit and a tweed cap. He stepped quietly through the trees, and went up to my companion, and said:

At that moment, we both realized that a third person was present. He was a well-built man, with broad shoulders and a slim waist. He wore a dark-blue suit and a tweed cap. He moved quietly through the trees and approached my companion, saying:

“Ah! there you are, Mr. Gateshead. I’m afraid it’s almost time for your afternoon nap, sir.” And then, turning to me, he nodded and remarked: “A warm afternoon, sir!” He spoke with a quiet, suave voice that somehow conveyed the feeling of the “iron hand in the velvet glove.” His voice seemed to have a sedative effect on Mr. Gateshead. My companion did not look at him, but he seemed to shrink within himself. A certain flush that had accompanied his excitement vanished, and his face looked old and set. He drew his narrow shoulders together and his figure bent. He stood abstractedly for a few moments, gazing at the trees around him, and then, with a vague gesture that was characteristic of him, he clutched the lapels of his coat, and with his head bent forward he walked away towards the building. He did not cast a glance in my[209] direction, and the man in the serge suit nodded to me and followed him leisurely.

“Ah! there you are, Mr. Gateshead. I’m afraid it’s almost time for your afternoon nap, sir.” Then, turning to me, he nodded and said, “It’s a warm afternoon, sir!” He spoke with a calm, smooth voice that somehow had the vibe of “an iron hand in a velvet glove.” His tone seemed to calm Mr. Gateshead. My companion didn’t look at him, but he appeared to withdraw into himself. The flush that had been on his face from excitement disappeared, and he looked old and rigid. He pulled his narrow shoulders in and hunched over. He stood there for a few moments, staring at the trees around him, and then, with a vague gesture typical of him, he clutched the lapels of his coat and, with his head down, walked toward the building. He didn’t look my way, and the man in the serge suit nodded at me and followed him at a relaxed pace.

I clambered down the slope of the wood, and for some reason felt happy to get once more upon the road.

I climbed down the slope of the woods, and for some reason, I felt thrilled to be back on the road.

About half a mile from Corlesham I met the postman coming up the hill, wheeling his bicycle. He was a sandy-haired man, splendidly Saxon, with gray-blue eyes and broad mouth. I asked him if there was a footpath to Corlesham, and he directed me.

About half a mile from Corlesham, I ran into the postman riding his bike up the hill. He had sandy hair, looked very Saxon, and had gray-blue eyes and a wide mouth. I asked him if there was a footpath to Corlesham, and he pointed me in the right direction.

“Do you have a long round?” I asked.

“Do you have a long round?” I asked.

“Three or four mile, maybe,” he said, looking at me narrowly.

“Three or four miles, maybe,” he said, giving me a sharp look.

“It’s a good pull up to the Institution,” I ventured.

“It’s a nice drive up to the Institution,” I said.

“What institution might that be?” he said, and his mild blue eyes disarmed me with their ingenuousness.

“What institution might that be?” he asked, and his gentle blue eyes disarmed me with their sincerity.

“The house with the three red gables,” I answered.

“The house with the three red gables,” I replied.

“Oh!” came the reply. “You mean old Gateshead’s.”

“Oh!” came the reply. “You mean old Gateshead’s.”

“Does he own it?” I said incredulously.

“Does he own it?” I said in disbelief.

“Ay, and he could own six others for all the difference it would make to his money. He owns half the county.”

"Yeah, and he could own six more for all it would change his finances. He owns half the county."

“And yet what a strange idea,” I murmured insinuatingly. “To own a large house and yet to have one’s letters delivered in a wood!”

“And still, what a strange idea,” I said suggestively. “To own a big house and yet have your letters delivered in a forest!”

The postman swung his bag into a more comfortable position and looked across his machine at me with a grin.

The postman adjusted his bag to a more comfortable position and looked over his bike at me with a smile.

[210]

[210]

“Those as has money can afford to have any ideas they like,” he said at last.

"Those who have money can afford to have whatever ideas they want," he finally said.

“I’m afraid his money doesn’t make him very happy,” I ventured, still groping for further enlightenment.

“I’m afraid his money doesn’t make him very happy,” I said, still searching for more insight.

The postman gave his right pedal a vigorous twirl as a hint of departure. He then took out a packet of Navy Cut cigarettes and lighted one. This action seemed to stimulate his mental activities, and he leant on the handle-bars and said:

The postman gave his right pedal a strong twist as a sign that he was about to leave. He then pulled out a pack of Navy Cut cigarettes and lit one up. This move seemed to kickstart his thinking, and he leaned on the handlebars and said:

“Ay, if one has no money maybe one can make oneself happy thinking one has. And if one has money, may be one can make oneself happy by thinking one hasn’t.” He blinked at me, and then added, by way of solving all life’s mysteries: “If one—puts too much store by these things.”

“Yeah, if someone doesn’t have any money, maybe they can make themselves happy by pretending they do. And if someone has money, maybe they can make themselves happy by pretending they don’t.” He blinked at me, then added, to solve all of life’s mysteries: “If someone puts too much importance on these things.”

I could find no remark to complement the postman’s sententious conclusions, and, dismissing me with a nod, he mounted his bicycle and rode off up the hill.

I couldn’t think of anything to add to the postman’s serious conclusions, and with a nod to dismiss me, he got on his bike and rode off up the hill.


[211]

[211]

THE GREAT UNIMPRESSIONABLE

[212]

[212]


[213]

[213]

THE GREAT UNIMPRESSIONABLE

Ned Picklekin was a stolid chunk of a young man, fair, blue-eyed, with his skin beaten to a uniform tint of warm red by the sun and wind. For he was the postman at the village of Ashalton. Except for two hours in the little sorting-office, he spent the whole day on his bicycle, invariably accompanied by his Irish terrier, Toffee. Toffee was as well known on the countryside as Ned himself. He took the business of delivering letters as seriously as his master. He trotted behind the bicycle with his tongue out, and waited panting outside the gates of gardens while the important government business was transacted. He never barked, and had no time for fighting common, unofficial dogs. When the letters were delivered, his master would return to his bicycle, and say: “Coom ahn, boy!” and Toffee would immediately jump up, and fall into line. They were great companions.

Ned Picklekin was a solid young man, fair-skinned with blue eyes, and his skin was a uniform warm red from the sun and wind. He was the postman in the village of Ashalton. Except for two hours in the little sorting office, he spent his entire day on his bicycle, always accompanied by his Irish terrier, Toffee. Toffee was as well-known in the countryside as Ned was. He took the job of delivering letters as seriously as his owner did. He trotted behind the bicycle with his tongue out, waiting patiently outside garden gates while the important postal business was handled. He never barked and had no interest in fighting other dogs. When the letters were delivered, his master would return to the bike and say, “Come on, boy!” and Toffee would instantly jump up and fall in line. They were great companions.

Ned lived with his mother, and also he walked out with a young lady. Her name was Ettie Skinner, and she was one of the three daughters of old Charlie Skinner, the corn-merchant. Charlie Skinner had a little establishment in the station-yard. He was a widower, and he and his three daughters lived in a cottage in Neap’s Lane. It was very seldom necessary to deliver[214] letters at the Skinners’ cottage, but every morning Ned had to pass up Neap’s Lane, and so, when he arrived at the cottage, he dismounted, and rang his bicycle bell. The signal was understood by Ettie, who immediately ran out to the gate, and a conversation somewhat on this pattern usually took place:

Ned lived with his mom and was also seeing a girl. Her name was Ettie Skinner, and she was one of the three daughters of old Charlie Skinner, the corn merchant. Charlie Skinner had a small business in the station yard. He was a widower, and he and his three daughters lived in a cottage on Neap’s Lane. It was rarely necessary to deliver[214] letters at the Skinners’ cottage, but every morning Ned had to ride up Neap’s Lane, and when he got to the cottage, he would get off his bike and ring his bicycle bell. Ettie understood the signal and would immediately run out to the gate, and their conversation usually went something like this:

“Hulloa!”

“Hello!”

“Hulloa!”

“Hello!”

“All right?”

"Are you good?"

“Ay.”

"Yeah."

“Busy?”

"Are you busy?"

“Ay. Mendin’ some old cla’es.”

“Yeah. Fixing some old clothes.”

“Oo-ay!”

“Oy!”

“Looks like mebbe a shower.”

“Looks like maybe a shower.”

“Mebbe.”

"Maybe."

“Coomin’ along to-night?”

"Coming over tonight?"

“Ay, if it doan’t rain.”

"Yeah, if it doesn't rain."

“Well, so long!”

“See you later!”

“So long, Ned.”

"Goodbye, Ned."

In the evenings the conversation followed a very similar course. They waddled along the lanes side by side, and occasionally gave each other a punch. Ned smoked his pipe all the time, and Toffee was an unembarrassed cicerone. He was a little jealous of this unnecessary female, but he behaved with a resigned acquiescence. His master could do no wrong. His master was a god, a being apart from all others.

In the evenings, their conversation took a similar path. They strolled along the lanes side by side, occasionally giving each other a playful punch. Ned smoked his pipe the entire time, while Toffee confidently led the way. He felt a bit jealous of this unnecessary woman, but he accepted it with quiet resignation. His master could do no wrong. His master was like a god, a being separate from everyone else.

It cannot be said that Ned was a romantic lover. He was solemn, direct, imperturbable. He was a Saxon of Saxons, matter-of-fact, incorruptible, unimaginative,[215] strong-willed, conscientious, not very ambitious, and suspicious of the unusual and the unknown. When the war broke out, he said:

It can't be said that Ned was a romantic lover. He was serious, straightforward, calm. He was the quintessential Saxon—practical, honest, unoriginal, strong-willed, responsible, not particularly ambitious, and distrustful of anything unusual or unknown. When the war started, he said:

“Ay, but this is a bad business!”

“Ay, but this is a bad situation!”

And then he thought about it for a month. At the end of that time he made up his mind to join. He rode up Neap’s Lane one morning and rang his bell. When Ettie appeared the usual conversation underwent a slight variant:

And then he thought about it for a month. At the end of that time, he decided to join. He rode up Neap’s Lane one morning and rang his bell. When Ettie appeared, the usual conversation had a slight twist:

“Hulloa!”

"Hello!"

“Hulloa!”

“Hello!”

“All right?”

"Are you good?"

“Ay.”

“Yeah.”

“Doin’ much?”

"Doing much?"

“Oo—mendin’ pa’s night-gown.”

“Fixing Dad’s nightgown.”

“Oh! I be goin’ to jine up.”

“Oh! I'm going to join up.”

“Oo—oh! Be ’ee?”

“Whoa—oh! Are you?”

“Ay.”

“Yeah.”

“When be goin’?”

"When are we going?"

“Monday with Dick Thursby and Len Cotton. An’ I think young Walters, and Bibbie Short mebbe.”

“Monday with Dick Thursby and Len Cotton. And I think young Walters, and Bibbie Short maybe.”

“Oh, I say!”

“Oh, wow!”

“Ay. Comin’ along to-night?”

"Hey. Coming along tonight?"

“Ay, if it doan’t rain.”

"Yeah, if it doesn't rain."

“Well, see you then.”

“Alright, see you later.”

“So long, Ned.”

"Goodbye, Ned."

On the following Monday Ned said good-by to his mother, and sweetheart, and to Toffee, and he and the other four boys walked over to the recruiting office at Carchester. They were drafted into the same unit, and[216] sent up to Yorkshire to train. (Yorkshire being one hundred and fifty miles away was presumably the most convenient and suitable spot.)

On the following Monday, Ned said goodbye to his mother, his girlfriend, and Toffee. He and the other four boys walked over to the recruiting office in Carchester. They were assigned to the same unit and[216] sent up to Yorkshire for training. (Yorkshire, being one hundred and fifty miles away, was probably the most convenient and suitable location.)

They spent five months there, and then Len Cotton was transferred to the Machine Gun Corps, and the other four were placed in an infantry regiment and sent out to India. They did not get an opportunity of returning to Ashalton, but the night before he left Ned wrote to his mother:

They spent five months there, and then Len Cotton was assigned to the Machine Gun Corps, while the other four were assigned to an infantry regiment and sent to India. They didn’t get a chance to go back to Ashalton, but the night before he left, Ned wrote to his mother:

“Dear Mother, I think we are off to-morrow. They don’t tell us where we are going but they seem to think it’s India because of the Eastern kit served out and so on. Everything all right, the grub is fine. Young Walters has gone sick with a bile on his neck. Hope you are all right. See Toffee dont get into Mr. Mears yard for this is about the time he puts down that pison for the rats. Everything O. K. Love from Ned.”

“Dear Mother, I think we’re leaving tomorrow. They don’t tell us where we’re going, but they seem to think it’s India because of the Eastern gear they handed out and all that. Everything’s good, the food is fine. Young Walters has gotten sick with a boil on his neck. Hope you’re doing well. Make sure Toffee doesn’t get into Mr. Mears’ yard because this is about the time he puts down that poison for the rats. Everything’s okay. Love from Ned.”

He wrote a very similar letter to Ettie, only leaving out the instructions about Toffee and adding “dont get overdoing it now the warm weathers on.”

He wrote a very similar letter to Ettie, only leaving out the instructions about Toffee and adding “don’t overdo it now that the warm weather is here.”

They touched at Gibraltar, Malta, Alexandria and Aden. At all these places he merely sent the cryptic postcard. He did not write a letter again until he had been three weeks up in the hills in India. As a matter of fact it had been a terribly rough passage nearly all the way, especially in the Mediterranean, and nearly all the boys had been sea-sick most of the time. Ned had been specially bad and in the Red Sea had developed a slight fever. In India he had been sent to a rest-camp up in the hills. He wrote:

They stopped at Gibraltar, Malta, Alexandria, and Aden. At each of these places, he just sent a mysterious postcard. He didn’t write a letter again until he had spent three weeks in the hills of India. To be honest, the journey had been really rough almost the entire time, especially in the Mediterranean, and most of the guys had been seasick for most of it. Ned had it especially bad and developed a mild fever in the Red Sea. In India, he was sent to a rest camp in the hills. He wrote:

[217]

[217]

“Dear mother, everything all right. The grub is fine. I went a bit sick coming out but nothing. Quite O. K. now. This is a funny place. The people would make you laugh to look at. We beat the 2nd Royal Scots by two goals to one. I wasn’t playing but Binnie played a fine game at half back. He stopped their center forward, an old league player, time and again. Hope you are keeping all right. Does Henry Thatcham take Toffee out regler. Everything serene. Love from Ned.”

“Dear Mom, everything's good. The food is fine. I felt a bit sick coming out, but I'm all right now. This is a funny place. The people are hilarious to look at. We beat the 2nd Royal Scots two to one. I wasn’t playing, but Binnie had a great game at half back. He kept stopping their center forward, who's an old league player, over and over. Hope you’re doing well. Does Henry Thatcham take Toffee out regularly? Everything's calm. Love, Ned.”

In this letter the words “2nd Royal Scots” were deleted by the censor.

In this letter, the words “2nd Royal Scots” were removed by the censor.

India at that time was apparently a kind of training-ground for young recruits. There were a few recalcitrant hill-tribes upon whom to practice the latest developments of military science, and Ned was mixed up in one or two of these little scraps. He proved himself a good soldier, doing precisely what he was told and being impervious to danger. They were five months in India, and then the regiment was suddenly drafted back to Egypt. Big things were afoot. No one knew what was going to happen. They spent ten days in a camp near Alexandria. They were then detailed for work in connection with the protection of the banks of the Canal, and Ned was stationed near the famous pyramid of Gizeh. He wrote to his mother:

India at that time was basically a training ground for new recruits. There were a few stubborn hill tribes to test the latest military techniques, and Ned got involved in a couple of these skirmishes. He showed he was a good soldier, following orders exactly and staying calm in dangerous situations. They spent five months in India, and then the regiment was suddenly sent back to Egypt. Major events were on the horizon. No one knew what was going to happen next. They set up camp near Alexandria for ten days. After that, they were assigned to help protect the banks of the Canal, and Ned was posted close to the famous pyramid of Giza. He wrote to his mother:

“Dear mother, everything all right. Pretty quiet so far. This is a funny place. Young Walters has gone sick again. We had the regimental sports Thursday. Me and Bert Carter won the three-legged race. The[218] grub is fine and we get dates and figs for nuts. Hope your cold is all right by now. Thanks for the parcel which I got on the 27th. Everything all right. Glad to hear about Mrs. Parsons having the twins and that. Glad to hear Toffee all right and so with love your loving son Ned.”

“Dear Mom, everything's good. It’s been pretty quiet so far. This place is weird. Young Walters got sick again. We had the regimental sports on Thursday. Bert Carter and I won the three-legged race. The[218] food is good and we get dates and figs instead of nuts. Hope your cold is better now. Thanks for the parcel I received on the 27th. Everything's all good. I'm glad to hear about Mrs. Parsons having the twins and all that. Also glad to hear Toffee is doing well. With love, your loving son, Ned.”

They had not been at Gizeh for more than a week before they were sent back to Alexandria and placed on a transport. In fifteen days after touching at Imbros, Ned and his companions found themselves on Gallipoli peninsula. Heavy fighting was in progress. They were rushed up to the front line. For two days and nights they were in action and their numbers were reduced to one-third of their original size. For thirty hours they were without water and were being shelled by gas, harried by flame-throwers, blasted by shrapnel and high-explosive. At the end of that time they crawled back to the beach at night through prickly bramble which poisoned them and set up septic wounds if it scratched them. They lay there dormant for two days, but still under shell-fire, and then were hurriedly reformed into a new regiment, and sent to another part of the line. This went on continuously for three weeks, and then a terrible storm and flood occurred. Hundreds of men—some alive and some partly alive—were drowned in the ravines. Ned and his company lost all their kit, and slept in water for three nights running. At the end of four weeks he obtained five days’ rest at the base. He wrote to Ettie:

They had been at Gizeh for just over a week when they were sent back to Alexandria and put on a transport. Fifteen days after stopping at Imbros, Ned and his friends found themselves on the Gallipoli peninsula. Intense fighting was happening. They were quickly sent to the front line. For two days and nights, they were in action, and their numbers were cut down to a third of what they originally had. They went without water for thirty hours and were shelled with gas, attacked by flame-throwers, and hit by shrapnel and high-explosive fire. After that time, they crawled back to the beach at night through thorny bramble, which poisoned them and caused septic wounds if it scratched them. They lay there inactive for two days, still under shell-fire, and then were quickly reorganized into a new regiment and sent to another part of the line. This went on continuously for three weeks, until a terrible storm and flood hit. Hundreds of men—some alive and some not—were drowned in the ravines. Ned and his company lost all their gear and slept in water for three nights in a row. After four weeks, he got five days of rest at the base. He wrote to Ettie:

“Dear Ettie, A long time since I had a letter from[219] you. Hope all right. Everything all right so far. We had a bad storm but the weather now keeps fine. Had a fine bath this morning. There is a man in our company would make you laugh. He is an Irish-Canadian. He plays the penny whissle fine and sings a bit too. Sorry to say young Walters died. He got enteric and phewmonnia and so on. I expect his people will have heard all right. How is old Mrs. Walters? Dick Thursby got a packet too and Mrs. Quinby’s boy I forget his name. How are them white rabbits of yours. I met a feller as used to take the milk round for Mr. Brand up at Bodes farm. Funny wasn’t it. Well nothing more now. I hope this finds you as it leaves me your affectionate Ned.”

“Dear Ettie, It’s been a while since I heard from you. Hope you’re doing well. Everything is good on my end so far. We had a bad storm, but the weather is nice now. I had a great bath this morning. There’s a guy in our group who would make you laugh. He’s an Irish-Canadian. He plays the penny whistle really well and sings a bit too. Unfortunately, I have to say young Walters passed away. He got enteric fever and pneumonia and so on. I expect his family has heard by now. How is old Mrs. Walters? Dick Thursby got a letter too, and Mrs. Quinby’s boy—I forget his name. How are those white rabbits of yours? I met a guy who used to deliver milk for Mr. Brand at Bodes farm. Isn’t that funny? Well, nothing more for now. I hope this message finds you well, just as it leaves me. Your affectionate Ned.”

Ned was three months on Gallipoli peninsula, but he left before the evacuation. During the whole of that time he was never not under shell-fire. He took part in seven attacks. On one occasion he went over the top with twelve hundred others, of whom only one hundred and seven returned. Once he was knocked unconscious by a mine explosion which killed sixty-seven men. At the end of that period he was shot through the back by a sniper. He was put in a dressing-station, and a gentleman in a white overall came and stuck a needle into his chest and left him there in a state of nudity for twelve hours. Work at the field hospitals was very congested just then. He became a bit delirious and was eventually put on a hospital ship with a little tag tied to him. After some vague and restless period he found himself again at Imbros and in[220] a very comfortable hospital. He stayed there six weeks and his wound proved to be slight. The bone was only grazed. He wrote to his mother:

Ned spent three months on the Gallipoli peninsula, but he left before the evacuation. Throughout that entire time, he was constantly under shell fire. He participated in seven attacks. During one of them, he went over the top with twelve hundred others, but only one hundred and seven made it back. Once, he was knocked unconscious by a mine explosion that killed sixty-seven men. By the end of that period, he was shot in the back by a sniper. He was taken to a dressing station, where a guy in a white coat came, injected him in the chest, and then left him there naked for twelve hours. The field hospitals were really crowded at that time. He became a little delirious and was eventually placed on a hospital ship with a tag tied to him. After some unclear and restless time, he found himself back at Imbros in a very comfortable hospital. He stayed there for six weeks, and his wound turned out to be minor; the bone was only grazed. He wrote to his mother:

“Dear mother, Everything all right. I had a scratch but nothing. I hope you enjoyed the flower show. How funny meetings Mrs. Perks. We have a fine time here. The grub is fine. Sorry to say Binnie Short went under. He got gassed one night when he hadnt his mask on. The weather is mild and pleasant. Glad to hear Henry takes Toffee out all right. Have you heard from Ettie for some time. We had a fine concert on Friday. A chap played the flute lovely. Hope you are now all right again. Your loving son Ned.”

“Dear Mom, Everything's good. I had a little scratch, but it's nothing serious. I hope you enjoyed the flower show. It was funny running into Mrs. Perks. We’re having a great time here. The food is good. Unfortunately, Binnie Short didn’t make it. He got gassed one night when he didn’t have his mask on. The weather is mild and nice. I'm glad to hear Henry is taking Toffee out okay. Have you heard from Ettie in a while? We had a fantastic concert on Friday. A guy played the flute beautifully. I hope you’re feeling better now. Your loving son, Ned.”

In bed in the hospital at Imbros a bright idea occurred to Ned. He made his will. Such an idea would never have occurred to him had it not been forced upon him by the unusual experiences of the past year. He suddenly realized that of all the boys who had left the village with him only Len Cotton, as far as he knew, remained. So one night he took a blunt-pointed pencil, and laboriously wrote on the space for the will at the end of his pay-book:

In the hospital bed at Imbros, an idea struck Ned. He decided to make his will. He wouldn’t have thought of this if it hadn't been for the strange experiences of the past year. He suddenly understood that out of all the boys who had left the village with him, only Len Cotton, as far as he knew, was still around. So one night, he grabbed a blunt pencil and carefully wrote in the space for the will at the end of his paybook:

“I leave everything I’ve got to my mother Anne Picklekin, including Toffee. I hope Henry Thatcham will continue to look after Toffee except the silver bowl which I won at the rabbit show at Oppleford. This I leave to Ettie Skinner as a memorial of me.”

“I leave everything I have to my mother, Anne Picklekin, including Toffee. I hope Henry Thatcham will continue to take care of Toffee, except for the silver bowl I won at the rabbit show in Oppleford. This bowl I leave to Ettie Skinner as a remembrance of me.”

One day Ned enjoyed a great excitement. He was under discharge from the hospital, and a rumor got round that he and some others were to be sent back[221] to England. They hung about the island for three days, and were then packed into an Italian fruit-steamer—which had been converted into a transport. It was very overcrowded and the weather was hot. They sailed one night and reached another island before dawn. They spent three weeks doing this. They only sailed at night, for the seas about there were reported to be infested with submarines. Every morning they put in at some island in the Greek Archipelago, or at some port on the mainland. At one place there was a terrible epidemic of illness, owing to some Greek gentlemen having sold the men some doped wine. Fifteen of them died. Ned escaped from this as he had not had any of the wine. He was practically a teetotaler except for an occasional glass of beer. But he was far from happy on that voyage. The seas were rough and the transport ought to have been broken up years ago, and this didn’t seem to be the right route for England.

One day, Ned had a huge thrill. He had just been discharged from the hospital, and a rumor spread that he and some others were going to be sent back to England. They hung around the island for three days before getting packed onto an Italian fruit steamer that had been converted into a transport. It was super overcrowded, and the weather was hot. They set sail one night and arrived at another island before dawn. They spent three weeks doing this. They only traveled at night because the waters were said to be full of submarines. Each morning, they docked at some island in the Greek Archipelago or at some port on the mainland. In one place, there was a terrible outbreak of illness because some Greek guys had sold the men some tainted wine. Fifteen of them died. Ned managed to avoid this since he hadn’t had any of the wine. He was mostly a teetotaler except for an occasional beer. But he wasn't at all happy during that voyage. The seas were rough, the transport should have been scrapped years ago, and it didn’t feel like the right route to England.

At length they reached a large port called Salonika. They never went into the town, but were sent straight out to a camp in the hills ten miles away. The country was very wild and rugged, and there was great difficulty with water. Everything was polluted and malarial. There was very little fighting apparently, but plenty of sickness. He found himself in a Scottish regiment. At least, it was called Scottish, but the men came from all parts of the world, from Bow Street to Hong-Kong.

At last, they arrived at a big port called Salonika. They didn’t enter the town but were directed straight to a camp in the hills, ten miles away. The area was extremely wild and rough, and there were significant challenges with water. Everything was contaminated and had malaria. There seemed to be very little fighting, but there was a lot of illness. He found himself in a Scottish regiment. Well, it was labeled as Scottish, but the soldiers came from all over the world, from Bow Street to Hong Kong.

There was to be no Blighty after all, but still—there it was! He continued to drill, and march, and clean his rifle and play the mouth-organ and football.[222] And then one morning he received a letter from his mother, which had followed him from Imbros. It ran as follows:

There was no Blighty after all, but still—there it was! He kept drilling, marching, cleaning his rifle, and playing the harmonica and football.[222] Then one morning, he got a letter from his mother that had followed him from Imbros. It read as follows:

“My dear Ned, How are you, dear? I hope you keep all right. My corf is now pretty middlin otherwise nothin to complain of. Now dear I have to tell you something which grieves me dear. Im afraid its no good keepin it from you ony longer dear. Ettie is walkin out with another feller. A feller from the air station called Alf Mullet. I taxed her with it and she says yes it is so dear. Now dear you mustnt take on about this. I told her off I says it was a disgraceful and you out there fightin for your country and that. And she says nothin excep yes there it was and she couldn’t help it and her feelins had been changed you being away and that. Now dear you must put a good face on this and remember theres just as good fish in the sea as ever came out of it as they say dear. One of Mr. Bean’s rabits died Sunday they think it overeating you never know with rabits. Keep your feet warm dear I hope you got them socks I sent. Lizzie was at chapel Sunday she had on her green lawn looked very nice I thought but I wish she wouldn’t get them spots on her face perhaps its only the time of year. Toffee is all right he had a fight with a hairdale Thursday Henry says got one of his eres bitten but nothin serous. So now dear I must close as Mrs. Minchin wants me to go and take tea with her has Florrie has gone to the school treat at Eurley. And so dear with love your lovin Mother.”

“My dear Ned, How are you, dear? I hope you're doing well. My health is pretty good otherwise nothing to complain about. Now, dear, I have to tell you something that makes me sad. I'm afraid it’s no good keeping it from you any longer, dear. Ettie is dating another guy. A guy from the air station named Alf Mullet. I confronted her about it and she admitted it, dear. Now, dear, you mustn't worry about this. I told her it was shameful, especially with you out there fighting for your country. She didn't say much except that it was true, and she couldn’t help it; her feelings had changed with you being away and all. Now, dear, you must keep your chin up and remember there are plenty of other fish in the sea, as they say. One of Mr. Bean’s rabbits died on Sunday; they think it overate, but you never know with rabbits. Keep your feet warm, dear; I hope you got the socks I sent. Lizzie was at chapel on Sunday; she wore her green lawn dress and looked very nice, though I wish she wouldn’t get those spots on her face—maybe it’s just the time of year. Toffee is doing fine; he had a fight with a terrier on Thursday, and Henry said he got one of his ears bitten but nothing serious. So, now, dear, I must close as Mrs. Minchin wants me to go have tea with her since Florrie has gone to the school treat at Eurley. So, dear, with love, your loving Mother.”

[223]

[223]

When he had finished reading this letter he uttered an exclamation, and a cockney friend sitting on the ground by his side remarked:

When he finished reading this letter, he let out an exclamation, and a Cockney friend sitting on the ground next to him remarked:

“What’s the matter, mate?”

“What’s wrong, buddy?”

Ned took a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket and lighted one. Then he said:

Ned pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and lit one. Then he said:

“My girl’s jilted me.”

"My girl dumped me."

The cockney laughed and said:

The Cockney laughed and said:

“Gawd! is that all? I thought it was somthin’ serious!”

“Wow! Is that it? I thought it was something serious!”

He was cleaning his rifle with an oil rag, and he continued: “Don’t you worry, mate. Women are like those blinkin’ little Greek islands, places to call at but not to stay. What was she like?”

He was cleaning his rifle with an oil rag and said, “Don’t worry, buddy. Women are like those annoying little Greek islands—places to visit but not to stay. What was she like?”

“Oo—all right.”

"Okay, got it."

“Pretty?”

"Beautiful?"

“Ay—middlin’.”

"Uh—okay."

“’As she got another feller?”

"Is she seeing another guy?"

“Ay.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, well, it’s all in the gime. If you will go gallivanting about these foreign parts enjoyin’ yerself, what d’yer expect? What time’s kick off this afternoon?”

“Oh, well, it’s all in the game. If you will go running around these foreign places having a good time, what do you expect? What time does it start this afternoon?”

“Two o’clock.”

"2 PM."

“Reckon we’re goin’ to win?”

"Think we're going to win?"

“I doan’t know. ’Pends upon whether McFarlane turns out.”

“I don’t know. It depends on whether McFarlane shows up.”

“Yus, ’e’s a wonderful player. Keeps the team together like.”

“Yeah, he’s a great player. He holds the team together.”

“Ay.”

"Yeah."

[224]

[224]

“Are you playin’?”

"Are you playing?"

“Ay. I’m playin’ right half.”

"Yeah. I’m playing right half."

“Are yer? Well, you’ll ’ave yer ’ands full. You’ll ’ave to tackle Curly Snider.”

“Are you? Well, you’ll have your hands full. You’ll have to deal with Curly Snider.”

“Ay.”

“Yeah.”

Ned’s team won the match that afternoon, and he wrote to his mother afterwards:

Ned's team won the game that afternoon, and he wrote to his mom afterwards:

“Dear mother, We just had a great game against 15/Royal South Hants. McFarlane played center half and he was in great form. We led 2-0 at half time and they scored one at the beginnin of the second half but Davis got throu towards the end and we beat them by 3-1. I was playin quite a good game I think but McFarlane is a real first class. I got your letter all right. I was sorry about Ettie but of course she knows what she wants I spose. You dont say what Toffee did to the other dog. You might tell Henry to let me have a line about this. Fancy Liz being at chapel. I almos forget what shes like. Everything is all right. The grub is fine. This is a funny place all rocks and planes. The Greeks are a stinkin lot for the most part so now must close with love, Ned.”

“Dear Mom, We just had an amazing game against 15/Royal South Hants. McFarlane played center half and he was on fire. We led 2-0 at half time and they scored one at the beginning of the second half, but Davis got through towards the end and we won 3-1. I think I played pretty well, but McFarlane is really top-notch. I got your letter just fine. I felt bad about Ettie, but I guess she knows what she wants. You didn’t mention what Toffee did to the other dog. You might tell Henry to drop me a line about that. Can you believe Liz is at chapel? I almost forgot what she’s like. Everything is good. The food is fine. This place is strange, all rocks and plains. The Greeks are a pretty rough crowd for the most part, so I’ll close with love, Ned.”

Having completed this letter, Ned got out his pay-book and revised his will. Ettie Skinner was now deleted, and the silver bowl won at the rabbit-show at Oppleford was bequeathed to Henry Thatcham in consideration of his services in taking Toffee out for runs.

Having finished this letter, Ned pulled out his paybook and updated his will. Ettie Skinner was now removed, and the silver bowl he won at the rabbit show in Oppleford was left to Henry Thatcham in appreciation for his help in taking Toffee out for walks.

They spent a long and tedious eight months on the plains of Macedonia, dodging malaria and bullets, cracking vermin in their shirts, playing football, ragging,[225] quarreling, drilling, maneuvering and, most demoralizing of all, hanging about. And then a joyous day dawned. This hybrid Scottish regiment was ordered home! They left Salonika in a French liner and ten days later arrived at Malta. But in the meantime the gods had been busy. The wireless operators had been flashing their mysterious signals all over the Mediterranean and the Atlantic. At Malta the order was countermanded. They remained there long enough to coal, but the men were not even given shore leave. The next day they turned eastwards again and made for Alexandria.

They spent a long and tedious eight months on the plains of Macedonia, dodging malaria and bullets, dealing with bugs in their shirts, playing football, messing around, quarreling, drilling, maneuvering and, most frustrating of all, just hanging around. Then one joyful day came. This mixed Scottish regiment was ordered home! They left Salonika on a French ship and ten days later arrived in Malta. But in the meantime, the gods had been at work. The wireless operators had been sending out their mysterious signals all over the Mediterranean and the Atlantic. When they arrived in Malta, the order was canceled. They stayed there long enough to load up coal, but the men weren’t even allowed to go ashore. The next day, they turned east again and headed for Alexandria.

The cockney was furious. He had the real genius of the grouser, with the added venom of the man who in the year of grace had lived by his wits and now found his wits enclosed in an iron cylinder. It was a disgusting anti-climax.

The Cockney was furious. He had the true talent for complaining, with the extra bitterness of a guy who, in this modern age, had survived by his smarts and now found his ingenuity trapped in a metal box. It was a frustrating letdown.

“When I left that filthy ’ole,” he exclaimed, “I swore to God I’d try and never remember it again. And now I’m darned if we ain’t goin’ back there. As if once ain’t enough in a man’s lifetime! It’s like the blooming cat with the blankety mouse!”

“When I left that filthy place,” he exclaimed, “I promised myself I’d try to forget it forever. And now I can’t believe we’re going back there. As if once isn’t enough in a person’s life! It’s like the crazy cat with the stupid mouse!”

“Eh, well, mon,” interjected a Scotsman, “there’s ane thing. They canna keel ye no but once.”

“Hey, well, man,” interrupted a Scotsman, “there’s one thing. They can only kill you once.”

“It ain’t the killing I mind. It’s the blooming mucking about. What d’yer say, Pickles?”

“It’s not the killing that bothers me. It’s all the damn messing around. What do you think, Pickles?”

“Ah, well ... there it is,” said Ned sententiously.

“Ah, well ... there it is,” said Ned in a serious tone.

There was considerable “mucking about” in Egypt, and then they started off on a long trek through the desert, marching on barbed-wire mesh that had been laid[226] down by the engineers. There was occasional skirmishing, sniping, fleas, delay, and general discomfort. One day, in Southern Palestine, Ned was out with a patrol party just before sun-down. They were trekking across the sand between two oases when two shots rang out. Five of the party fell. The rest were exposed in the open to foes firing from concealment on two sides. The position was hopeless. They threw up their hands. Two more shots rang out and the cockney next to Ned fell forward with a bullet through his throat. Then dark figures came across the sands towards them. There were only three left, Ned, a Scotsman, and a boy who had been a clerk in a drapery store at Lewisham before the war. He said:

There was a lot of “messing around” in Egypt, and then they set out on a long journey through the desert, walking on barbed-wire mesh that had been laid down by the engineers. There were occasional skirmishes, sniping, fleas, delays, and general discomfort. One day, in Southern Palestine, Ned was out with a patrol party just before sunset. They were crossing the sand between two oases when two shots rang out. Five members of the party fell. The rest were exposed in the open to enemies firing from hidden positions on both sides. The situation was hopeless. They raised their hands in surrender. Two more shots rang out and the Cockney guy next to Ned fell forward with a bullet in his throat. Then dark figures came across the sands toward them. Only three of them remained: Ned, a Scotsman, and a boy who used to work as a clerk in a drapery store in Lewisham before the war. He said:

“Well, are they going to kill us?”

“Well, are they going to kill us?”

“No,” said the Scotsman. “Onyway, keep your hands weel up and pray to God.”

“No,” said the Scotsman. “Anyway, keep your hands up high and pray to God.”

A tall man advanced, and to their relief beckoned them to follow. They fell into single file.

A tall man approached, and to their relief, gestured for them to follow. They lined up in single file.

“These are no Tur-r-ks at all,” whispered the Scotsman. “They’re some nomadic Arab tribe.”

“These aren’t Tur-r-ks at all,” whispered the Scotsman. “They’re some nomadic Arab tribe.”

The Scotsman had attended evening continuation classes at Peebles, and was rather fond of the word “nomadic.”

The Scotsman had taken evening classes in Peebles and was quite fond of the word "nomadic."

They were led to one of the oases, and instructed to sit down. The Arabs sat round them, armed with rifles. They remained there till late at night, when another party arrived, and a rope was produced. They were handcuffed and braced together, and then by gesticulation told to march. They trailed across the sand for[227] three hours and a half. There was no moon, but the night was tolerably clear. At length they came to another oasis, and were bidden to halt. They sat on the sand for twenty minutes, and one of the Arabs gave them some water. Then a whistle blew, and they were kicked and told to follow. The party wended its way through a grove of cedar trees. It was pitch dark. At last they came to a halt by a large hut. There was much coming and going. When they entered the hut, in charge of their guard, they were blinded by a strong light. The hut was comfortably furnished and lighted by electric light. At a table sat a stout, pale-faced man, with a dark mustache—obviously a German. By his side stood a tall German orderly. The German official looked tired and bored. He glanced at the prisoners and drew some papers towards him.

They were taken to one of the oases and told to sit down. The Arabs gathered around them, armed with rifles. They stayed there until late at night when another group arrived, and a rope was brought out. They were handcuffed and secured together, then gestured at to march. They trudged across the sand for[227] three and a half hours. There was no moon, but the night was fairly clear. Eventually, they reached another oasis and were instructed to stop. They sat on the sand for twenty minutes, during which one of the Arabs offered them some water. Then a whistle blew, and they were kicked and told to follow. The group made its way through a grove of cedar trees. It was pitch dark. Finally, they stopped in front of a large hut. There was a lot of movement. When they entered the hut with their guard, they were blinded by a bright light. The hut was comfortably furnished and lit by electric lights. At a table sat a stout, pale-faced man with a dark mustache—clearly a German. Beside him stood a tall German orderly. The German official looked tired and bored. He glanced at the prisoners and pulled some papers toward him.

“Come and stand here in front of my desk,” he said in English.

“Come and stand here in front of my desk,” he said in English.

They advanced, and he looked at each one carefully. Then he yawned, dipped his pen in the ink, tried it on a sheet of paper, swore, and inserted a fresh nib.

They moved forward, and he examined each one closely. Then he yawned, dipped his pen in the ink, tested it on a piece of paper, swore, and put in a new nib.

“Now, you,” he said, addressing the Scotsman, when he had completed these operations. “Name, age, profession, regiment. Smartly.”

“Now, you,” he said, looking at the Scotsman after he finished these tasks. “Name, age, job, regiment. Quick.”

He obtained all these particulars from each man. Then he got up and came round the table, and looking right into the eyes of the clerk from Lewisham, he said:

He got all this information from each guy. Then he stood up, walked around the table, and looked directly into the eyes of the clerk from Lewisham and said:

“We know, of course, in which direction your brigade is advancing, but from which direction is the brigade[228] commanded by Major-General Forbes Fittleworth advancing?”

“We know, of course, which way your brigade is moving, but from which direction is the brigade[228] led by Major-General Forbes Fittleworth advancing?”

The three of them all knew this, for it was common gossip of the march. But the clerk from Lewisham said:

The three of them knew this, as it was common gossip around the area. But the clerk from Lewisham said:

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t know.”

The German turned from him to the Scotsman and repeated the question.

The German turned away from him to the Scotsman and asked the question again.

“I don’t know,” answered the Scotsman.

“I don’t know,” replied the Scotsman.

“From which direction is the brigade commanded by Major-General Forbes Fittleworth advancing?” he said to Ned.

“Which direction is the brigade led by Major-General Forbes Fittleworth coming from?” he asked Ned.

“Naw! I doan’t know,” replied Ned.

“Nah! I don’t know,” replied Ned.

And then a horrible episode occurred. The German suddenly whipped out a revolver and shot the clerk from Lewisham through the body twice. He gave a faint cry and crumpled forward. Without taking the slightest notice of this horror, the German turned deliberately and held the revolver pointed at Ned’s face. In a perfectly unimpassioned, toneless voice he repeated:

And then a terrible incident happened. The German suddenly pulled out a revolver and shot the clerk from Lewisham twice in the body. He let out a faint cry and collapsed forward. Without acknowledging this horror at all, the German turned calmly and aimed the revolver at Ned's face. In a completely emotionless, flat voice, he repeated:

“From which direction is the brigade commanded by Major-General Forbes Fittleworth advancing?”

“From which direction is the brigade led by Major-General Forbes Fittleworth coming?”

In the silence which followed, the only sound seemed to be the drone of some machine, probably from the electric-light plant. The face of Ned was mildly surprised but quite impassive. He answered without a moment’s hesitation:

In the silence that followed, the only sound was the hum of some machine, likely from the electric light plant. Ned's face showed mild surprise but was otherwise impassive. He responded without a moment's hesitation:

“Naw! I doan’t know.”

"Nope! I don't know."

There was a terrible moment in which the click of the[229] revolver could almost be heard. It seemed to hover in front of his face for an unconscionable time, then suddenly the German lowered it with a curse, and leaning forward, he struck Ned on the side of his face with the flat of his hand. He treated the Scotsman in the same way, causing his nose to bleed. Both of the men remained quite impassive. Then he walked back to his seat, and said calmly:

There was a terrible moment when the click of the[229] revolver could almost be heard. It felt like it lingered in front of his face for an endless moment, then suddenly the German lowered it with a curse, and leaning forward, he slapped Ned on the side of his face with the flat of his hand. He did the same to the Scotsman, causing his nose to bleed. Both men remained completely indifferent. Then he walked back to his seat and said calmly:

“Unless you can refresh your memories within the next two hours you will share the fate of—that swine. You will now go out to the plantation at the back and dig your graves. Dig three graves.”

“Unless you can refresh your memories within the next two hours, you'll share the same fate as that pig. You will now head out to the plantation in the back and dig your graves. Dig three graves.”

He spoke sharply in Arabic to the guards, and they were led out. They were handed a spade each, two Arabs held torches for them to work by, and four others hovered in a circle twelve paces away. The soil was light sand, and digging was fairly easy. Each man dug his own grave making it about four feet deep. When it came to the third grave the Scotsman whispered:

He spoke sharply in Arabic to the guards, and they were led out. Each was given a spade, while two Arabs held torches for them to see by, and four others stood in a circle about twelve paces away. The soil was light sand, so digging was pretty easy. Each man dug his own grave, making it about four feet deep. When it was time for the third grave, the Scotsman whispered:

“Dig deep, mon.”

“Dig deep, man.”

“Deeper than others?”

"Deeper than the rest?"

“Ay, deep enough to make a wee trench.”

“Ay, deep enough to make a little trench.”

“I see.”

"Got it."

They made it very deep, working together and whispering. When it was practically completed, apparently a sudden quarrel arose between the men. They swore at each other, and the Scotsman sprang out of the trench and gripped Ned by the throat. A fearful struggle began to take place on the edge of the grave. The guard[230] ran up and tried to separate them. And then, during the brief confusion there was a sudden dramatic development. Simultaneously they snatched their spades. Both the men with the torches were knocked senseless, and one of them fell into the third grave. The torches were stamped out and a rifle went off. It was fired by a guard near the hut, and the bullet struck another Arab who was trying to use his bayonet. Ned brought a fourth man down with his spade and seized his rifle, and the Scotsman snatched the rifle of the man who had been shot, and they both leapt back into their purposely prepared trench.

They dug it really deep, working together and whispering. When it was almost done, a sudden fight broke out between the men. They yelled at each other, and the Scotsman jumped out of the trench and grabbed Ned by the throat. A fierce struggle started at the edge of the grave. The guard[230] rushed in and tried to break them apart. Then, in the middle of the chaos, something dramatic happened. At the same time, they quickly grabbed their shovels. Both men with the torches got knocked out, and one of them fell into the third grave. The torches went out, and a shot rang out. It was fired by a guard near the hut, hitting another Arab who was trying to stab someone with his bayonet. Ned took down a fourth man with his shovel and grabbed his rifle, while the Scotsman seized the rifle from the man who had been shot, and they both jumped back into their carefully made trench.

“We shallna be able to hold this long, but we’ll give them a run for their money,” said the Scotsman.

“We won’t be able to hold out for long, but we’ll give them a run for their money,” said the Scotsman.

The body of one Arab was lying on the brink of their trench and the other in the trench itself. Fortunately they both had bandoliers, which Ned and his companion instantly removed.

The body of one Arab was lying at the edge of their trench and the other was in the trench itself. Fortunately, they both had bandoliers, which Ned and his friend quickly took off.

“You face east and I’ll take west,” said the Scotsman, his eyes glittering in the dim light. “I’m going to try and scare that Boche devil.”

“You face east and I’ll handle the west,” said the Scotsman, his eyes shining in the low light. “I’m going to try and scare that Boche devil.”

He peppered away at the hut, putting bullets through every window and smashing the telephone connection, which was a fine target at the top of a post against the sky. Bullets pinged over their heads from all directions, but there was little chance of them being rushed while their ammunition held out. However, it became necessary to look ahead. It was the Scotsman’s idea in digging the graves to plan them in zig-zag formation. The end of the furthest one was barely ten[231] paces from a clump of aloes. He now got busy with his spade whilst Ned kept guard in both directions, occasionally firing at the hut and then in the opposite direction into the darkness. In half-an-hour the Scotsman had made a shallow connection between the three graves, leaving just enough room to crawl through. They then in turn donned the turbans of the two fallen Arabs, who were otherwise dressed in a kind of semi-European uniform.

He shot at the hut, hitting every window and knocking out the telephone line, which was a good target at the top of a post against the sky. Bullets zipped over their heads from all directions, but they had little chance of being attacked while they still had ammo. However, they needed to think ahead. It was the Scotsman’s idea to dig the graves in a zig-zag pattern. The end of the furthest grave was barely ten[231] paces from a group of aloes. He got to work with his spade while Ned kept watch in both directions, occasionally firing at the hut and then into the darkness behind them. Within half an hour, the Scotsman had created a shallow link between the three graves, leaving just enough space to crawl through. They then put on the turbans of the two fallen Arabs, who were otherwise dressed in a sort of semi-European uniform.

They ended up with a tremendous fusillade against the hut, riddling it with bullets; then they crept to the end of the furthest grave, and leaving their rifles, they made a sudden dash across the open space to the group of aloes, bending low and limping like wounded Arabs.

They unleashed a massive barrage on the hut, hitting it with bullets; then they crawled to the end of the farthest grave, left their rifles behind, and suddenly sprinted across the open area to the clump of aloes, crouching low and limping like injured Arabs.

They reached them in safety, but there were many open spaces to cover yet. As they emerged from the trees Ned stumbled on a dark figure. He kicked it and ran. They both ran zig-zag fashion, and tore off their turbans as they raced along. They covered nearly a hundred yards, and then bullets began to search them out again. They must have gone nearly a mile before the Scotsman gave a sudden slight groan.

They reached them safely, but there were still many open spaces to cross. As they came out of the trees, Ned tripped over a dark figure. He kicked it and took off running. They both zig-zagged as they ran, tearing off their turbans as they hurried along. They covered almost a hundred yards, and then the bullets started coming after them again. They must have gone nearly a mile before the Scotsman let out a sudden, quiet groan.

“I’m hit,” he said.

"I'm hit," he said.

He stumbled into a clump of bushes, and fell down.

He tripped into a bunch of bushes and fell over.

“Is it bad?” asked Ned.

"Is it bad?" Ned asked.

“Eh, laddie, I’m doon,” he said quietly. He put his hand to his side. He had been shot through the lungs. Ned stayed with him all night, and they were undisturbed. Just before dawn the Scotsman said:

“Hey, kid, I’m done,” he said softly. He placed his hand on his side. He had been shot in the lungs. Ned stayed with him all night, and they were left alone. Just before dawn, the Scotsman said:

[232]

[232]

“Eh, mon, but yon was a bonny fight,” and he turned on his back and died.

“Hey, man, that was a great fight,” and he turned on his back and died.

Ned made a rough grave with his hands, and buried his companion. He took his identification-disc and his pocket-book and small valuables, with the idea of returning them to his kin if he should get through himself. He also took his water-flask, which still fortunately contained a little water. He lay concealed all day, and at night he boldly donned his turban, issued forth and struck a caravan-trail. He continued this for four days and nights hiding in the day-time and walking at night. He lived on figs and dates, and one night he raided a village and caught a fowl, which also nearly cost him his life.

Ned dug a rough grave with his hands and buried his friend. He took his ID tag, wallet, and a few small valuables, planning to return them to his family if he made it through. He also grabbed his water flask, which luckily still had a bit of water. He hid all day and, at night, boldly put on his turban, ventured out, and followed a caravan trail. He kept this up for four days and nights, hiding during the day and walking at night. He survived on figs and dates, and one night, he raided a village and caught a chicken, which nearly cost him his life.

On the fourth night his water gave out, and he was becoming light-headed. He stumbled on into the darkness. He was a desperate man. All the chances were against him, and he felt unmoved and fatalistic. He drew his clasp-knife and gripped it tightly in his right hand. He was hardly conscious of what he was doing, and where he was going. The moon was up, and after some hours he suddenly beheld a small oblong hut. He got it into his head that this was the hut where his German persecutor was. He crept stealthily towards it.

On the fourth night, he ran out of water and was starting to feel light-headed. He staggered into the darkness. He was a desperate man. All the odds were against him, and he felt indifferent and resigned. He took out his pocket knife and gripped it tightly in his right hand. He was barely aware of what he was doing or where he was headed. The moon was up, and after a few hours, he suddenly saw a small rectangular hut. He convinced himself that this was the hut where his German enemy was. He crept quietly toward it.

“I’ll kill that swine,” he muttered.

“I'll kill that pig,” he muttered.

He was within less than a hundred yards of the hut, when a voice called out:

He was less than a hundred yards from the hut when a voice called out:

“’Alt! Who goes there?”

"Stop! Who's there?"

“It’s me,” he said. “Doan’t thee get in my way. I[233] want to kill him. I’m going to kill him. I’m going to, I tell you. I’m going to stab him through his black heart.”

“It’s me,” he said. “Don’t get in my way. I[233] want to kill him. I’m going to kill him. I’m serious, I tell you. I’m going to stab him through his black heart.”

“What the hell——!”

“What the heck——!”

The sentry was not called upon to use his rifle, for the turbaned figure fell forward in a swoon.

The guard wasn’t needed to use his rifle because the person in the turban collapsed in a faint.

Three weeks later Ned wrote to his mother from Bethlehem (where Christ was born), and this is what he said:

Three weeks later, Ned wrote to his mom from Bethlehem (where Christ was born), and this is what he said:

“Dear mother. Everything going on all right. I got three parcels here altogether as I had been away copped by some black devils an unfriendly tribe. I got back all right though. The ointment you sent me was fine and so was them rock cakes. What a funny thing about Belle getting lost at the picnick. We got an awful soaking from the Mid-Lancs Fusiliers on Saturday. They had two league cracks playing one a wonderful center forward. He scored three goals. They beat us by 7-0. The weather is hot but quite pleasant at night. We have an old sergeant who was born in America does wonderful tricks with string and knots and so on. He tells some very tall yarns. You have to take them with a pinch of salt. Were getting fine grub here pretty quiet so far. Hope Henry remembers to wash Toffee with that stuff every week or so. Sorry to hear Len Cotton killed. Is his sister still walking out with that feller at Aynham. I never think he was much class for her getting good money though. Hope you have not had any more trouble with the boiler. That was a good price to get for that old buck rabbit. Well there’s[234] nothing more just now and so with love your loving son, Ned.”

“Dear Mom, everything is going fine. I’ve received three packages since I was away and got caught by some unfriendly tribe. But I made it back okay. The ointment you sent was great, and so were the rock cakes. Isn’t it funny how Belle got lost at the picnic? We got completely drenched by the Mid-Lancs Fusiliers on Saturday. They had two top players, and one was an amazing center forward who scored three goals. They beat us 7-0. The weather is hot but pretty nice at night. We have an old sergeant who was born in America, and he does incredible tricks with string and knots. He tells some pretty tall tales, but you have to take them with a grain of salt. We’re getting great food here and things have been pretty quiet so far. I hope Henry remembers to wash Toffee with that stuff every week or so. I’m sorry to hear about Len Cotton being killed. Is his sister still seeing that guy from Aynham? I never thought he was good enough for her, even if he makes decent money. I hope you haven’t had any more trouble with the boiler. That was a good price for that old buck rabbit. Well, there’s[234] nothing more for now, so sending love from your son, Ned.”

Ned went through the Palestine campaign and was slightly wounded in the thigh. After spending some time in hospital he was sent to the coast and put on duty looking after Turkish prisoners. He remained there six months and was then shipped to Italy. On the way the transport was torpedoed. He was one of a party of fifty-seven picked up by French destroyers. He had been for over an hour in the water in his lifebelt. He was landed in Corsica and there he developed pneumonia. He only wrote his mother one short note about this:

Ned went through the Palestine campaign and got a slight injury to his thigh. After spending some time in the hospital, he was sent to the coast to look after Turkish prisoners. He stayed there for six months and was then shipped to Italy. On the way, their transport was torpedoed. He was one of fifty-seven people rescued by French destroyers. He had spent over an hour in the water with his lifebelt. He was taken to Corsica, where he developed pneumonia. He only wrote his mother a short note about this:

“Dear mother, Have been a bit dicky owing to falling in the water and getting wet. But going on all right. Nurses very kind and one of the doctors rowed for Cambridge against Oxford. I forget the year but Cambridge won by two and a half lengths. We have very nice flowers in the ward. Well not much to write about and so with love your loving son, Ned.”

“Dear Mom, I've been feeling a bit off because I fell into the water and got wet. But I'm doing okay. The nurses are really nice, and one of the doctors used to row for Cambridge against Oxford. I can't remember the year, but Cambridge won by two and a half lengths. We have some really nice flowers in the ward. There's not much to say, so sending my love, your loving son, Ned.”

Ned was fit again in a few weeks and he was sent up to the Italian front. He took part in several engagements and was transferred to the French front during the last months of the war. He was in the great retreat in March 1918 and in the advance in July. After the armistice he was with the army of occupation on the banks of the Rhine. His mother wrote to him there:

Ned was back in shape within a few weeks and was sent to the Italian front. He participated in several battles and was moved to the French front during the final months of the war. He was involved in the major retreat in March 1918 and the advance in July. After the armistice, he was with the occupying army along the Rhine River. His mother wrote to him there:

“My dear Ned, Am glad that this fighting is now all over dear. How relieved you must be. Mr. Filter was[235] in Sunday. He thinks there will be no difficulty about you gettin your job back when you come back dear. Miss Siffkins as been deliverin but as Mr. Filter says its not likely a girl is going to be able to deliver letters not like a man can and that dear. So now you will be comin home soon dear. That will be nice. We had a pleesant afternoon at the Church needlewomens gild. Miss Barbary Banstock sang very pleesantly abide with me and the vicar told a very amusing story about a little girl and a prince and she didn’t know he was a prince and talked to him just as though he was a man it was very amusin dear. I hear Ettie is goin to get married next month they wont get me to the weddin was it ever so I call it disgraceful and I have said so. Maud Bean is expectin in April that makes her forth in three years. Mr. Bean has lost three more rabbits they say its rats this time. The potatoes are a poor lot this time but the runners and cabbidge promiss well. So now dear I will close. Hoppin to have your back dear soon, your loving mother.”

“My dear Ned, I’m glad that the fighting is finally over. How relieved you must be. Mr. Filter was[235] here on Sunday. He thinks there won’t be any trouble getting your job back when you return. Miss Siffkins has been delivering, but as Mr. Filter says, it’s unlikely a girl can deliver letters as well as a man can. So now you’ll be coming home soon. That will be nice. We had a pleasant afternoon at the church needlewomen’s guild. Miss Barbary Banstock sang very nicely, “Abide With Me,” and the vicar told a very amusing story about a little girl and a prince who she didn’t know was a prince, and she spoke to him just as if he were an ordinary man. It was very entertaining. I hear Ettie is going to get married next month. They won’t get me to the wedding; it’s absolutely disgraceful, and I’ve said so. Maud Bean is expecting in April, which will make her fourth in three years. Mr. Bean has lost three more rabbits; they say it's rats this time. The potatoes aren’t great this season, but the runners and cabbage look promising. So now, dear, I’ll close. Hoping to have you back soon, your loving mother.”

It was, however, the autumn before Ned was demobilized. One day in early October be came swinging up the village street carrying a white kit-bag slung across his left shoulder. He looked more bronzed and perhaps a little thinner, but otherwise little altered by his five years of war experiences. The village of Ashalton was quite unaltered, but he observed several strange faces; he only met two acquaintances on the way to his mother’s cottage, and they both said:

It was, however, the autumn before Ned was discharged. One day in early October, he came swinging up the village street carrying a white kit bag slung across his left shoulder. He looked more sun-tanned and maybe a little thinner, but otherwise, he hadn’t changed much from his five years of wartime experiences. The village of Ashalton was pretty much the same, but he noticed several unfamiliar faces; he only ran into two acquaintances on his way to his mom’s cottage, and they both said:

“Hullo, Ned! Ye’re home agen then!”

“Halo, Ned! You’re home again then!”

[236]

[236]

In each case he replied:

He replied every time:

“Ay,” and grinned, and walked on.

“Ay,” he grinned and kept walking.

He entered his mother’s cottage, and she was expecting him. The lamp was lighted and a grand tea spread. There was fresh boiled beetroot, tinned salmon, salad, cake, and a large treacle tart. She embraced him and said:

He walked into his mom's cottage, and she was waiting for him. The lamp was on, and a nice spread was ready for tea. There was fresh boiled beetroot, canned salmon, salad, cake, and a big treacle tart. She gave him a hug and said:

“Well, Ned! Ye’re back then.”

"Well, Ned! You're back then."

He replied, “Ay.”

He replied, "Yeah."

“Ye’re lookin fine,” she said. “What a fine suit they’ve given ye!”

"You look great," she said. "What a nice suit they've given you!"

“Ay,” he replied.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“I expect you want yer tea?”

“I assume you want your tea?”

“Ay.”

"Yeah."

He had dropped his kit-bag, and he moved luxuriously round the little parlor, looking at all the familiar objects. Then he sat down, and his mother brought the large brown tea-pot from the hob and they had a cozy tea. She told him all the very latest news of the village, and all the gossip of the countryside, and Ned grinned and listened. He said nothing at all. The tea had progressed to the point when Ned’s mouth was full of treacle tart when his mother suddenly stopped, and said:

He had dropped his duffel bag, and he strolled around the small living room, taking in all the familiar things. Then he sat down, and his mom brought the big brown teapot from the stove and they had a cozy tea time. She filled him in on all the latest news from the village and all the gossip from the countryside, and Ned smiled and listened. He didn’t say a word. The tea was in full swing, and Ned’s mouth was stuffed with treacle tart when his mom suddenly paused and said:

“Oh, dear, I’m afraid I have somethin’ distressin’ to tell ye, dear.”

“Oh, dear, I’m afraid I have something upsetting to tell you, dear.”

“O-oh? what’s that?”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“Poor Toffee was killed.”

"Poor Toffee was killed."

“What!”

“What?!”

Ned stopped suddenly in the mastication of the treacle tart. His eyes bulged and his cheeks became[237] very red. He stared at his mother wildly, and repeated.

Ned suddenly stopped chewing the treacle tart. His eyes widened and his cheeks turned very red. He looked at his mother in shock and repeated.

“What’s that? What’s that ye say, mother?”

“What’s that? What did you say, mom?”

“Poor Toffee, my dear. It happened right at the cross-roads. Henry was takin’ him out. It seems he ran round in front of a steam-roller, and a motor came round the corner sudden. Henry called out, but too late. Went right over his back. Poor Henry was quite upset. He brought him home. What’s the matter, dear?”

“Poor Toffee, my dear. It happened right at the crossroads. Henry was taking him out. It seems he ran in front of a steamroller, and a car came around the corner suddenly. Henry called out, but it was too late. The car went right over his back. Poor Henry was really upset. He brought him home. What’s wrong, dear?”

Ned had pushed his chair back and he stood up. He stared at his mother like a man who has seen horror for the first time.

Ned pushed his chair back and stood up. He stared at his mother like someone who had just witnessed horror for the first time.

“Where is he——where was——” he stammered.

“Where is he—where was—” he stammered.

“We buried ’im, dear, under the little mound beyond the rabbit hutches.”

“We buried him, dear, under the small hill beyond the rabbit hutch.”

Ned staggered across the room like a drunken man, and repeated dismally:

Ned stumbled across the room like he was drunk, and said gloomily:

“The little mound beyond the rabbit hutches!”

“The small hill beyond the rabbit pens!”

He lifted the latch, and groped his way into the garden. His mother followed him. He went along the mud path, past the untenanted hutches covered with tarpaulin. Some tall sunflowers stared at him insolently. A fine rain was beginning to fall. In the dim light he could just see the little mound—signifying the spot where Toffee was buried. He stood there bare-headed, gazing at the spot. His mother did not like to speak. She tiptoed back to the door. But after a time she called out:

He lifted the latch and felt his way into the garden. His mom followed him. He walked along the muddy path, past the empty hutches covered with tarps. Some tall sunflowers looked at him defiantly. A light rain was starting to fall. In the dim light, he could barely see the little mound marking the spot where Toffee was buried. He stood there without a hat, staring at the spot. His mom didn’t want to say anything. She quietly went back to the door. But after a while, she called out:

“Ned!... Ned!”

“Ned!... Ned!”

[238]

[238]

He did not seem to hear, and she waited patiently. At the end of several minutes she called again:

He didn’t seem to hear, and she waited patiently. After a few minutes, she called again:

“Ned!... Ned dear, come and finish your tea.”

“Ned!... Ned sweetie, come and finish your tea.”

He replied quite quietly:

He replied very quietly:

“All right, mother.”

"Okay, mom."

But he kept his face averted, for he did not want his mother to see the tears which were streaming down his cheeks.

But he turned his face away because he didn't want his mother to see the tears streaming down his cheeks.

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