Lysistrata in Modern English

FOREWORD

INTRODUCTION

Lysistrata is the greatest work by Aristophanes. This blank and rash statement is made that it may be rejected. But first let it be understood that I do not mean it is a better written work than the Birds or the Frogs, or that (to descend to the scale of values that will be naturally imputed to me) it has any more appeal to the collectors of "curious literature" than the Ecclesiazusae or the Thesmophoriazusae. On the mere grounds of taste I can see an at least equally good case made out for the Birds. That brightly plumaged fantasy has an aerial wit and colour all its own. But there are certain works in which a man finds himself at an angle of vision where there is an especially felicitous union of the aesthetic and emotional elements which constitute the basic qualities of his uniqueness. We recognize these works as being welded into a strange unity, as having a homogeneous texture of ecstasy over them that surpasses any aesthetic surface of harmonic colour, though that harmony also is understood by the deeper welling of imagery from the core of creative exaltation. And I think that this occurs in Lysistrata. The intellectual and spiritual tendrils of the poem are more truly interwoven, the operation of their centres more nearly unified; and so the work goes deeper into life. It is his greatest play because of this, because it holds an intimate perfume of femininity and gives the finest sense of the charm of a cluster of girls, the sweet sense of their chatter, and the contact of their bodies, that is to be found before Shakespeare, because that mocking gaiety we call Aristophanies reaches here its most positive acclamation of life, vitalizing sex with a deep delight, a rare happiness of the spirit.

Lysistrata is Aristophanes' best work. This straightforward and bold statement might be dismissed, but first, let's clarify that I’m not saying it’s better written than Birds or Frogs, nor that it appeals any more to collectors of "curious literature" than Ecclesiazusae or Thesmophoriazusae. Just based on taste, I can argue that Birds has an equally strong case. That vividly colorful story has its own unique wit and flair. However, there are certain works where a person finds an angle of vision that brilliantly combines the aesthetic and emotional elements that define their uniqueness. We recognize these works because they merge into a strange unity, having a consistent texture of ecstasy that goes beyond mere aesthetic surface and harmonic color, even though that harmony also comes from a deep well of imagery stemming from creative exhilaration. I believe this is what happens in Lysistrata. The intellectual and spiritual elements of the poem are more truly woven together, their core functions are more unified, allowing the work to delve deeper into life. It stands out as his greatest play for this reason: it carries a close essence of femininity and conveys a delightful sense of a group of girls, the sweet sound of their chatter, and the closeness of their bodies, something that can be found before Shakespeare. This playful spirit we call Aristophanic reaches its most vibrant celebration of life here, infusing sex with profound joy and a rare happiness of the soul.

Indeed it is precisely for these reasons that it is not considered Aristophanes' greatest play.

Indeed, that's exactly why it's not seen as Aristophanes' best play.

To take a case which is sufficiently near to the point in question, to make clear what I mean: the supremacy of Antony and Cleopatra in the Shakespearean aesthetic is yet jealously disputed, and it seems silly to the academic to put it up against a work like Hamlet. But it is the comparatively more obvious achievement of Hamlet, its surface intellectuality, which made it the favourite of actors and critics. It is much more difficult to realize the complex and delicately passionate edge of the former play's rhythm, its tides of hugely wandering emotion, the restless, proud, gay, and agonized reaction from life, of the blood, of the mind, of the heart, which is its unity, than to follow the relatively straightforward definition of Hamlet's nerves. Not that anything derogatory to Hamlet or the Birds is intended; but the value of such works is not enhanced by forcing them into contrast with other works which cover deeper and wider nexus of aesthetic and spiritual material. It is the very subtlety of the vitality of such works as Antony and Cleopatra and Lysistrata that makes it so easy to undervalue them, to see only a phallic play and political pamphlet in one, only a chronicle play in a grandiose method in the other. For we have to be in a highly sensitized condition before we can get to that subtle point where life and the image mix, and so really perceive the work at all; whereas we can command the response to a lesser work which does not call so finely on the full breadth and depth of our spiritual resources.

To take a case that's close to the point I’m making: the dominance of Antony and Cleopatra in Shakespeare's art is often fiercely debated, and it seems foolish to some academics to compare it to a play like Hamlet. However, it's the more apparent achievement of Hamlet—its surface-level intellect—that makes it a favorite among actors and critics. It’s much harder to appreciate the complex and intricately passionate rhythm of the former play, with its vast waves of intense emotion—the restless, proud, joyful, and tortured responses to life, blood, mind, and heart that create its unity—than to follow the relatively straightforward portrayal of Hamlet's mental state. This isn't meant to diminish Hamlet or The Birds; rather, the worth of such works isn't increased by forcing them into contrast with pieces that explore a deeper and broader range of aesthetic and spiritual themes. The very nuance and vibrancy of works like Antony and Cleopatra and Lysistrata make it easy for us to underestimate them, seeing them only as an explicit play about sex and a political pamphlet in one, or merely a historical play presented in an elaborate style in the other. We need to be in a highly sensitive state to reach that subtle point where life and its representation blend, allowing us to truly appreciate the work at all; meanwhile, we can engage more easily with lesser works that don’t demand such a full range of our spiritual depth.

I amuse myself at times with the fancy that Homer, Sappho, and Aristophanes are the inviolable Trinity of poetry, even to the extent of being reducible to One. For the fiery and lucid directness of Sappho, if her note of personal lyricism is abstracted, is seen to be an element of Homer, as is the profoundly balanced humour of Aristophanes, at once tenderly human and cruelly hard, as of a god to whom all sympathies and tolerances are known, but who is invulnerable somewhere, who sees from a point in space where the pressure of earth's fear and pain, and so its pity, is lifted. It is here that the Shakespearean and Homeric worlds impinge and merge, not to be separated by any academic classifications. They meet in this sensitivity equally involved and aloof, sympathetic and arrogant, suffering and joyous; and in this relation we see Aristophanes as the forerunner of Shakespeare, his only one. We see also that the whole present aesthetic of earth is based in Homer. We live and grow in the world of consciousness bequeathed to us by him; and if we grow beyond it through deeper Shakespearean ardours, it is because those beyond are rooted in the broad basis of the Homeric imagination. To shift that basis is to find the marshes of primitive night and fear alone beneath the feet: Christianity.

I sometimes entertain the idea that Homer, Sappho, and Aristophanes form an unbreakable Trinity of poetry, perhaps even merging into one. The fiery and clear style of Sappho, when stripped of her personal lyrical touch, reveals elements that belong to Homer. Likewise, Aristophanes’ deeply balanced humor—both tenderly human and harshly divine—captures the essence of a god who understands all sympathies and tolerances but remains invulnerable, seeing from a vantage point where the weight of the earth's fear and pain, along with its pity, is alleviated. It's here that the worlds of Shakespeare and Homer intersect, defying any academic boundaries. They connect in a sensitivity that is both deeply involved and distanced, compassionate and proud, in suffering and joy; and in this relationship, we recognize Aristophanes as Shakespeare's only true precursor. We also find that today's artistic sensibility is rooted in Homer. We exist and evolve within the consciousness he has passed down to us; and if we grow beyond it through the deeper passions of Shakespeare, it’s because those advancements are grounded in the expansive foundation of Homeric imagination. To alter that foundation is to uncover the marshes of primitive night and fear beneath our feet: Christianity.

And here we return to the question of the immorality of Lysistrata. First we may inquire: is it possible for a man whose work has so tremendous a significance in the spiritual development of mankind--and I do not think anyone nowadays doubts that a work of art is the sole stabilizing force that exists for life--is it possible for a man who stands so grandly at head of an immense stream of liberating effort to write an immoral work? Surely the only enduring moral virtue which can be claimed is for that which moves to more power, beauty and delight in the future? The plea that the question of changing customs arises is not valid, for customs ratified by Aristophanes, by Rabelais, by Shakespeare, have no right to change. If they have changed, let us try immediately to return from our disgraceful refinements to the nobler and more rarefied heights of lyric laughter, tragic intensity, and wit, for we cannot have the first two without the last. And anyhow, how can a social custom claim precedence over the undying material of the senses and the emotions of man, over the very generating forces of life?

And here we return to the question of the immorality of Lysistrata. First, let’s ask: is it possible for someone whose work holds such significant importance in the spiritual growth of humanity—and I don’t think anyone today doubts that a piece of art is the only stabilizing force for life—to create an immoral work? Surely, the only lasting moral value we can acknowledge is that which inspires more power, beauty, and joy in the future? The argument that changing customs is relevant doesn’t hold up, because customs endorsed by Aristophanes, Rabelais, and Shakespeare shouldn’t be altered. If they have changed, let's immediately try to reclaim our lost sophistication, returning to the higher and more refined realms of joyful laughter, tragic depth, and cleverness, since we can’t have the first two without the last. And anyway, how can a social custom take precedence over the lasting essence of our senses and emotions, over the very driving forces of life?

How could the humanistic emotions, such as pity, justice, sympathy, exist save as pacifistic quietings of the desire to slay, to hurt, to torment. Where the desire to hurt is gone pity ceases to be a significant, a central emotion. It must of course continue to exist, but it is displaced in the spiritual hierarchy; and all that moves courageously, desirously, and vitally into the action of life takes on a deeper and subtler intention. Lust, then, which on the lower plane was something to be very frightened of, becomes a symbol of the highest spirituality. It is right for Paul to be terrified of sex and so to hate it, because he has so freshly escaped a bestial condition of life that it threatens to plunge him back if he listens to one whisper But it is also right for a Shakespeare to suck every drop of desire from life, for he is building into a higher condition, one self-willed, self- responsible, the discipline of which comes from joy, not fear.

How can human emotions like pity, justice, and sympathy exist except as peaceful ways to channel the urge to hurt, to harm, or to torture? When the urge to cause harm disappears, pity loses its significance as a central emotion. Of course, it still exists, but it moves down the spiritual hierarchy; and everything that courageously and energetically engages in life takes on a deeper and more nuanced purpose. Lust, which was something to fear on a basic level, becomes a symbol of the highest spirituality. It makes sense for Paul to be afraid of sex and to despise it because he has recently escaped a brutal way of living that threatens to pull him back if he listens to even the slightest temptation. At the same time, it’s natural for someone like Shakespeare to extract every ounce of desire from life, as he is creating a higher state of being—one that is self-determined and accountable, where discipline comes from joy rather than fear.

Sex, therefore, is an animal function, one admits, one insists; it may be only that. But also in the bewildering and humorous and tragic duality of all life's energies, it is the bridge to every eternity which is not merely a spectral condition of earth disembowelled of its lusts. For sex holds the substance of the image. But we must remember with Heine that Aristophanes is the God of this ironic earth, and that all argument is apparently vitiated from the start by the simple fact that Wagner and a rooster are given an analogous method of making love. And therefore it seems impeccable logic to say that all that is most unlike the rooster is the most spiritual part of love. All will agree on that, schisms only arise when one tries to decide what does go farthest from the bird's automatic mechanism. Certainly not a Dante-Beatrice affair which is only the negation of the rooster in terms of the swooning bombast of adolescence, the first onslaught of a force which the sufferer cannot control or inhabit with all the potentialities of his body and soul. But the rooster is troubled by no dreams of a divine orgy, no carnival-loves like Beethoven's Fourth Symphony, no heroic and shining lust gathering and swinging into a merry embrace like the third act of Siegfried. It is desire in this sense that goes farthest from the animal.

Sex, then, is an instinctive function, which one acknowledges and emphasizes; it might be just that. But also, in the confusing and humorous and tragic duality of all life's energies, it acts as a bridge to every eternity that isn't simply a ghostly version of Earth stripped of its desires. Because sex contains the essence of the image. However, we must remember with Heine that Aristophanes embodies this ironic world, and all arguments are seemingly flawed from the outset by the basic fact that Wagner and a rooster share a similar way of mating. Thus, it seems entirely logical to say that everything most distant from the rooster is the most spiritual aspect of love. Everyone would agree on that; divisions only occur when we try to determine what is furthest from the bird's automatic behavior. Certainly not a Dante-Beatrice scenario, which merely negates the rooster through the exaggerated emotion of youth, the initial onslaught of a force that the individual cannot manage or embody with all the possibilities of their body and soul. But the rooster is not burdened by dreams of a divine celebration, no festive loves like Beethoven's Fourth Symphony, no heroic and radiant desire gathering and swinging into a joyful embrace like the third act of Siegfried. It is this type of desire that moves furthest away from the animal.

Consciously, no one can achieve the act of love on earth as a completed thing of grace, with whatever delirium of delight, with whatever ingenious preciosity, we go through its process. Only as an image of beauty mated in some strange hermaphroditic ecstasy is that possible. I mean only as a dream projected into a hypothetical, a real heaven. But on earth we cannot complete the cycle in consciousness that would give us the freedom of an image in which two identities mysteriously realize their separate unities by the absorption of a third thing, the constructive rhythm of a work of art. It is thus that Tristan and Isolde become wholly distinct individuals, yet wholly submerged in the unity that is Wagner; and so reconcile life's duality by balancing its opposing laughters in a definite form--thereby sending out into life a profounder duality than existed before. A Platonic equipoise, Nietzsche's Eternal Recurrence--the only real philosophic problem, therefore one of which these two philosophers alone are aware.

Consciously, no one can fully experience love on earth as a complete act of grace, no matter how ecstatic or intricate we might feel during the process. It’s only possible as a vision of beauty joined in some strange, androgynous ecstasy. I mean only as a dream projected into a potential, real heaven. But on earth, we can't finish the cycle in awareness that would allow us the freedom of an image where two identities mysteriously recognize their separate wholeness through the absorption of a third element, the creative rhythm of a work of art. This is how Tristan and Isolde become completely separate individuals, yet entirely immersed in the unity that is Wagner; they reconcile life's duality by balancing its opposing laughter in a definite form—thereby introducing a deeper duality into life than existed before. A Platonic balance, Nietzsche's Eternal Recurrence—the only real philosophical issue, and one that these two philosophers alone recognize.

But though Wagner with Mathilde Wesendonck in his arms was Tristan in the arms of Isolde, he did not find a melody instead of a kiss on his lips; he did not find a progression of harmonies melting through the contours of a warm beauty with a blur of desperate ecstasies, semitones of desire, he found only the anxious happiness of any other lover. Nevertheless, he was gathering the substance of the second act of Tristan und Isolde. And it is this that Plato means when he says that fornication is something immortal in mortality. He does not mean that the act itself is a godlike thing, a claim which any bedroom mirror would quickly deride. He means that it is a symbol, an essential condition, and a part of something that goes deeper into life than any geometry of earth's absurd, passionate, futile, and very necessary antics would suggest.

But even though Wagner held Mathilde Wesendonck in his arms like Tristan with Isolde, he didn’t find a melody instead of a kiss on his lips; he didn’t experience a flow of harmonies blending through the contours of a warm beauty with a blur of desperate ecstasies and semitones of desire. He found only the anxious happiness of any other lover. Still, he was capturing the essence of the second act of Tristan und Isolde. And this is what Plato means when he says that fornication is something immortal within mortality. He doesn’t mean that the act itself is divine, a claim that any bedroom mirror would quickly dismiss. He means that it’s a symbol, an essential condition, and a part of something that goes deeper into life than any geometry of earth’s absurd, passionate, futile, and very necessary antics would imply.

It is a universal fallacy that because works like the comedies of Aristophanes discuss certain social or ethical problems, they are inspired by them. Aristophanes wrote to express his vision on life, his delight in life itself seen behind the warping screen of contemporary event; and for his purposes anything from Euripides to Cleon served as ground work. Not that he would think in those terms, naturally: but the rationalizing process that goes on in consciousness during the creation of a work of art, for all its appearance of directing matters, is the merest weathercock in the wind of the subconscious intention. As an example of how utterly it is possible to misunderstand the springs of inspiration in a poem, we may take the following remark of B. B. Rogers: It is much to be regretted that the phallus element should be so conspicuous in this play.... (This) coarseness, so repulsive to ourselves, was introduced, it is impossible to doubt, for the express purpose of counter-balancing the extreme earnestness and gravity of the play. It seems so logical, so irrefutable; and so completely misinterprets every creative force of Aristophanes' Psyche that it certainly deserves a little admiration. It is in the best academic tradition, and everyone respects a man for writing so mendaciously. The effort of these castrators is always to show that the parts considered offensive are not the natural expression of the poet, that they are dictated externally. They argue that Shakespeare's coarseness is the result of the age and not personal predilection, completely ignoring the work of men like Sir Philip Sidney and Spenser, indeed practically all the pre-Shakespearean writers, in whom none of this so-called grossness exists. Shakespeare wrote sculduddery because he liked it, and for no other reason; his sensuality is the measure of his vitality. These liars pretend similarly that because Rabelais had a humanistic reason for much of his work--the destructior Mediaevalism, and the Church, which purpose they construe of course as an effort to purify, etc.--therefore he only put the lewdery to make the rest palatable, when it should be obvious even to an academic how he glories in his wild humour.

It's a common misconception that because works like Aristophanes' comedies address certain social or ethical issues, they must be inspired by them. Aristophanes wrote to express his views on life and his enjoyment of it, filtered through the lens of contemporary events; for his goals, anything from Euripides to Cleon provided material. Of course, he wouldn’t think about it in those terms; but the reasoning process that happens in the mind during the creation of a piece of art, despite its appearance of being in control, is really just a fleeting response to deeper subconscious intentions. A clear example of how completely one can misunderstand the sources of inspiration in a poem can be found in the comment by B. B. Rogers: It is much to be regretted that the phallus element should be so conspicuous in this play.... (This) coarseness, so repulsive to ourselves, was introduced, it is impossible to doubt, for the express purpose of counter-balancing the extreme earnestness and gravity of the play. It seems so logical, so undeniable, yet it misinterprets every creative impulse of Aristophanes’ psyche to such an extent that it deserves some admiration. It follows the best academic tradition, and people often respect someone for writing such misleading statements. These critics always try to prove that the parts considered offensive are not the poet’s natural expression, but are imposed from outside. They claim that Shakespeare's crudeness is a product of his time and not a personal preference, completely overlooking the work of figures like Sir Philip Sidney and Spenser, and indeed, practically all pre-Shakespearean writers, who show none of this so-called vulgarity. Shakespeare wrote about crude subjects because he liked it, and for no other reason; his sensuality reflects his vitality. These deceivers argue in a similar way that because Rabelais had a humanistic motive for much of his work—like the destruction of Medievalism and the Church, which they interpret as an effort to purify, etc.—he included lewdness merely to make the rest more acceptable, when it should be clear, even to an academic, that he revels in his wild humor.

What the academic cannot understand is that in such works, while attacking certain conditions, the creative power of the vigorous spirits is so great that it overflows and saturates the intellectual conception with their own passionate sense of life. It is for this reason that these works have an eternal significance. If Rabelais were merely a social reformer, then the value of his work would not have outlived his generation. If Lysistrata were but a wise political tract, it would have merely an historical interest, and it would have ceased spiritually at 404 B.C.

What the academic can't grasp is that in such works, while critiquing certain conditions, the creative energy of the spirited individuals is so powerful that it spills over and infuses the intellectual ideas with their own passionate view of life. This is why these works hold lasting significance. If Rabelais were just a social reformer, then his work wouldn’t have survived beyond his time. If Lysistrata were simply a clever political essay, it would only be of historical interest, and its impact would have ended spiritually in 404 B.C.

But Panurge is as fantastic and fascinating a character now as he was 300 years ago, Lysistrata and her girls as freshly bodied as any girl kissed to-day. Therefore the serious part of the play is that which deals with them, the frivolous part that in which Rogers detects gravity and earnestness.

But Panurge is just as amazing and captivating a character now as he was 300 years ago, and Lysistrata and her friends are as lively as any girl today. So, the serious part of the play focuses on them, while the lighthearted part is where Rogers finds depth and sincerity.

Aristophanes is the lord of all who take life as a gay adventure, who defy all efforts to turn life into a social, economic, or moral abstraction. Is it therefore just that the critics who, by some dark instinct, unerringly pick out the exact opposite of any creator's real virtues as his chief characteristics, should praise him as an idealistic reformer? An "ideal" state of society was the last thing Aristophanes desired. He wished, certainly, to eliminate inhumanities and baseness; but only that there might be free play for laughter, for individual happiness.

Aristophanes is the champion of those who view life as an exciting adventure, who resist all attempts to turn life into just social, economic, or moral ideas. Is it fair, then, that critics—by some strange instinct—consistently highlight the exact opposite of a creator's true qualities as their main traits, and label him as an idealistic reformer? An "ideal" society was the last thing Aristophanes wanted. He certainly aimed to remove cruelty and lowliness, but only so that there could be room for laughter and personal happiness.

Consequently the critics lay the emphasis on the effort to cleanse society, not the method of laughter. Aristophanes wished to destroy Cleon because that demagogue failed to realize the poet's conception of dignified government and tended to upset the stability of Hellas. But it was the stability of life, the vindication of all individual freedoms, in which he was ultimately interested.

As a result, critics focus on the attempt to purify society rather than the use of humor. Aristophanes wanted to take down Cleon because that politician didn't understand the poet's vision of a respectable government and disrupted the stability of Greece. However, what really mattered to him was maintaining the stability of life and defending individual freedoms.

JACK LINDSAY.

LYSISTRATA stands alone with the Propylaea at her back.

LYSISTRATA stands alone with the Propylaea behind her.

LYSISTRATA

If they were trysting for a Bacchanal,
A feast of Pan or Colias or Genetyllis,
The tambourines would block the rowdy streets,
But now there's not a woman to be seen
Except--ah, yes--this neighbour of mine yonder.

If they were sneaking away for a wild party,
A feast for Pan or Colias or
Genetyllis,
The tambourines would fill the noisy streets,
But now there’s not a woman in sight
Except--oh, right--this neighbor of mine over there.

Enter CALONICE.

Good day Calonice.

Hey Calonice.

CALONICE

Good day Lysistrata.
But what has vexed you so? Tell me, child.
What are these black looks for? It doesn't suit you
To knit your eyebrows up glumly like that.

Good day, Lysistrata.
But what’s bothering you so? Tell me, dear.
Why the sour expressions? It doesn't look good on you
To frown like that.

LYSISTRATA

Calonice, it's more than I can bear,
I am hot all over with blushes for our sex.
Men say we're slippery rogues--

Calonice, I can't handle this any longer,
I'm blushing all over because of our affair.
People say we're deceptive troublemakers--

CALONICE

And aren't they right?

Aren't they correct?

LYSISTRATA

Yet summoned on the most tremendous business
For deliberation, still they snuggle in bed.

Yet called for the most important work
For discussion, they still cuddle in bed.

CALONICE

My dear, they'll come. It's hard for women, you know,
To get away. There's so much to do;
Husbands to be patted and put in good tempers:
Servants to be poked out: children washed
Or soothed with lullays or fed with mouthfuls of pap.

My dear, they will come. It's tough for women, you know,
To get away. There's so much to do;
Husbands to be comforted and put in a good mood:
Servants to be dealt with: children washed
Or soothed with lullabies or fed with bites of soft food.

LYSISTRATA

But I tell you, here's a far more weighty object.

But I tell you, there's something much more important.

CALONICE

What is it all about, dear Lysistrata,
That you've called the women hither in a troop?
What kind of an object is it?

What’s this all about, dear Lysistrata,
that you've called all the women here?
What’s the purpose of this gathering?

LYSISTRATA

A tremendous thing!

That's amazing!

CALONICE

And long?

LYSISTRATA

Indeed, it may be very lengthy.

Indeed, it might be quite long.

CALONICE

Then why aren't they here?

LYSISTRATA

No man's connected with it;
If that was the case, they'd soon come fluttering along.
No, no. It concerns an object I've felt over
And turned this way and that for sleepless nights.

No one is involved with it;
If that were true, they'd quickly come
fluttering by.
No, no. It’s about something I've touched over
and flipped around for sleepless nights.

CALONICE

It must be fine to stand such long attention.

It must be great to hold such long attention.

LYSISTRATA

So fine it comes to this--Greece saved by Woman!

So it turns out that Greece is saved by a Woman!

CALONICE

By Woman? Wretched thing, I'm sorry for it.

By Woman? What a miserable thing, I feel sorry for it.

LYSISTRATA

Our country's fate is henceforth in our hands:
To destroy the Peloponnesians root and branch--

Our country's future is now in our hands:
To completely defeat the Peloponnesians—

CALONICE

What could be nobler!

What could be more noble!

LYSISTRATA

Wipe out the Boeotians--

Eliminate the Boeotians--

CALONICE

Not utterly. Have mercy on the eels!
[Footnote: The Boeotian eels were highly esteemed delicacies in Athens.]

Not completely. Have mercy on the eels!
[Footnote: The Boeotian eels were highly valued delicacies in Athens.]

LYSISTRATA

But with regard to Athens, note I'm careful
Not to say any of these nasty things;
Still, thought is free.... But if the women join us
From Peloponnesus and Boeotia, then
Hand in hand we'll rescue Greece.

But when it comes to Athens, I’m cautious
Not to say any of these
nasty things;
Still, thought is free.... But if the women come with us
From the Peloponnesus and Boeotia, then
Hand in hand we’ll save Greece.

CALONICE

How could we do
Such a big wise deed? We women who dwell
Quietly adorning ourselves in a back-room
With gowns of lucid gold and gawdy toilets
Of stately silk and dainty little slippers....

How could we do
Such a big wise thing? We women who stay
Quietly dressing ourselves in a back room
With gowns of bright gold and flashy outfits
Of elegant silk and cute little slippers....

LYSISTRATA

These are the very armaments of the rescue.
These crocus-gowns, this outlay of the best myrrh,
Slippers, cosmetics dusting beauty, and robes
With rippling creases of light.

These are the exact tools for the rescue.
These crocus gowns, this
display of the finest myrrh,
slippers, cosmetics enhancing beauty, and
robes
with shimmering folds of light.

CALONICE

Yes, but how?

LYSISTRATA

No man will lift a lance against another--

No man will raise a spear against another--

CALONICE

I'll run to have my tunic dyed crocus.

I'll run to get my tunic dyed a bright shade of purple.

LYSISTRATA

Or take a shield--

Or grab a shield--

CALONICE

I'll get a stately gown.

I'll get an elegant dress.

LYSISTRATA

Or unscabbard a sword--

Or draw a sword--

CALONICE

Let me buy a pair of slipper.

Let me buy a pair of slippers.

LYSISTRATA

Now, tell me, are the women right to lag?

Now, tell me, are the women justified in holding back?

CALONICE

They should have turned birds, they should have grown
wings and flown.

They should have turned into birds, they should have grown
wings and flown.

LYSISTRATA

My friend, you'll see that they are true Athenians:
Always too late. Why, there's not a woman
From the shoreward demes arrived, not one from Salamis.

My friend, you'll see that they are real Athenians:
Always too late. Seriously, there isn't a single woman
From the coastal towns who has arrived, not one from Salamis.

CALONICE

I know for certain they awoke at dawn,
And got their husbands up if not their boat sails.

I know for sure they woke up at dawn,
And got their husbands up if not their boat sails.

LYSISTRATA

And I'd have staked my life the Acharnian dames
Would be here first, yet they haven't come either!

And I would have bet my life that the women of Acharnis
would be here first, yet they haven't shown up either!

CALONICE

Well anyhow there is Theagenes' wife
We can expect--she consulted Hecate.
But look, here are some at last, and more behind them.
See ... where are they from?

Well, anyway, there’s Theagenes' wife.
We can expect something—she consulted Hecate.
But look, here they are at last, and there are more behind them.
See... where are they coming from?

CALONICE

From Anagyra they come.

They come from Anagyra.

LYSISTRATA

Yes, they generally manage to come first.

Yes, they usually manage to come in first.

Enter MYRRHINE.

Enter Myrrhine.

MYRRHINE

Are we late, Lysistrata? ... What is that?
Nothing to say?

LYSISTRATA

I've not much to say for you,
Myrrhine, dawdling on so vast an affair.

I don't have much to say to you,
Myrrhine, spending so much time on such a big deal.

MYRRHINE

I couldn't find my girdle in the dark.
But if the affair's so wonderful, tell us, what is it?

I couldn't find my belt in the dark.
But if this is so great, tell us, what is it?

LYSISTRATA

No, let us stay a little longer till
The Peloponnesian girls and the girls of Bocotia
Are here to listen.

No, let’s stay a little longer until
The Peloponnesian girls and the
girls from Boeotia
Are here to listen.

MYRRHINE

That's the best advice.
Ah, there comes Lampito.

That's the best advice.
Ah, here comes Lampito.

Enter LAMPITO.

LYSISTRATA

Welcome Lampito!
Dear Spartan girl with a delightful face,
Washed with the rosy spring, how fresh you look
In the easy stride of your sleek slenderness,
Why you could strangle a bull!

Welcome Lampito!
Dear Spartan girl with a charming face,
Brightened by the rosy spring, you look so fresh
In the graceful movement of your slim figure,
You could probably take down a bull!

LAMPITO

I think I could.
It's frae exercise and kicking high behint.

I think I could.
It's from exercise and kicking high behind.

[Footnote: The translator has put the speech of the Spartan characters
in Scotch dialect which is related to English about as was the Spartan
dialect to the speech of Athens. The Spartans, in their character,
anticipated the shrewd, canny, uncouth Scotch highlander of modern
times.]

[Footnote: The translator has put the speech of the Spartan characters
in a Scottish dialect, which is related to English much like the Spartan
dialect was to the Athenian speech. The Spartans, in their character,
foreshadowed the clever, shrewd, and rough Scottish highlander of modern
times.]

LYSISTRATA

What lovely breasts to own!

What lovely breasts to have!

LAMPITO

Oo ... your fingers
Assess them, ye tickler, wi' such tender chucks
I feel as if I were an altar-victim.

Oo ... your fingers
Touch me, you tease, with such gentle caresses
I feel like I'm a sacrifice on an altar.

LYSISTRATA

Who is this youngster?

Who is this kid?

LAMPITO

A Boeotian lady.

A woman from Boeotia.

LYSISTRATA

There never was much undergrowth in Boeotia,
Such a smooth place, and this girl takes after it.

There was never much underbrush in Boeotia,
Such a smooth area, and this girl is just like it.

CALONICE

Yes, I never saw a skin so primly kept.

Yes, I’ve never seen skin so well maintained.

LYSISTRATA

This girl?

LAMPITO

A sonsie open-looking jinker!
She's a Corinthian.

A cheerful, welcoming carriage!
She's a Corinthian.

LYSISTRATA

Yes, isn't she
Very open, in some ways particularly.

Yes, isn't she
Very open, in some ways especially.

LAMPITO

But who's garred this Council o' Women to meet here?

But who gathered this Council of Women to meet here?

LYSISTRATA

I have.

LAMPITO

Propound then what you want o' us.

Please tell us what you need from us.

MYRRHINE

What is the amazing news you have to tell?

What amazing news do you have to share?

LYSISTRATA

I'll tell you, but first answer one small question.

I'll tell you, but first answer me this one small question.

MYRRHINE

As you like.

As you wish.

LYSISTRATA

Are you not sad your children's fathers
Go endlessly off soldiering afar
In this plodding war? I am willing to wager
There's not one here whose husband is at home.

Are you not sad that your children's fathers
Go off to fight endlessly
In this tiresome war? I bet
There's not a single one here whose husband is at home.

CALONICE

Mine's been in Thrace, keeping an eye on Eucrates
For five months past.

Mine's been in Thrace, watching over Eucrates
For the last five months.

MYRRHINE

Myrrhine

And mine left me for Pylos
Seven months ago at least.

And mine left me for Pylos
At least seven months ago.

LAMPITO

And as for mine
No sooner has he slipped out frae the line
He straps his shield and he's snickt off again.

And as for me
No sooner has he slipped out of the line
He straps on his shield and he's off again.

LYSISTRATA

And not the slightest glitter of a lover!
And since the Milesians betrayed us, I've not seen
The image of a single upright man
To be a marble consolation to us.
Now will you help me, if I find a means
To stamp the war out.

And not even a hint of a lover!
And since the Milesians betrayed us, I haven't seen
The likeness of a single decent person
To offer us some marble consolation.
Now will you help me if I figure out
How to put an end to the war?

MYRRHINE

By the two Goddesses, Yes!
I will though I've to pawn this very dress
And drink the barter-money the same day.

By the two Goddesses, yes!
I will even if I have to sell this very dress
And spend the money from the sale on the same day.

CALONICE

And I too though I'm split up like a turbot
And half is hackt off as the price of peace.

And I feel like I'm torn apart like a flatfish
And half of me is sacrificed for peace.

LAMPITO

And I too! Why, to get a peep at the shy thing
I'd clamber up to the tip-top o' Taygetus.

And me too! I’d climb all the way to the top of Taygetus just to catch a glimpse of the shy thing.

LYSISTRATA

Then I'll expose my mighty mystery.
O women, if we would compel the men
To bow to Peace, we must refrain--

Then I'll reveal my great secret.
Oh women, if we want to make the men
Submit to Peace, we have to hold back--

MYRRHINE

From what?
O tell us!

From what?
Oh, tell us!

LYSISTRATA

Will you truly do it then?

Will you really do it then?

MYRRHINE

We will, we will, if we must die for it.

We will, we will, if we have to die for it.

LYSISTRATA

We must refrain from every depth of love....
Why do you turn your backs? Where are you going?
Why do you bite your lips and shake your heads?
Why are your faces blanched? Why do you weep?
Will you or won't you, or what do you mean?

We need to hold back from every intense emotion of love...
Why are you looking away? Where are you headed?
Why are you biting your lips and shaking your heads?
Why do your faces look pale? Why are you crying?
Will you or won't you, or what do you really mean?

MYRRHINE

No, I won't do it. Let the war proceed.

No, I won't do it. Let the war continue.

CALONICE

No, I won't do it. Let the war proceed.

No, I won't do it. Let the war continue.

LYSISTRATA

You too, dear turbot, you that said just now
You didn't mind being split right up in the least?

You too, dear turbot, you who just said
You didn't mind being cut right up at all?

CALONICE

Anything else? O bid me walk in fire
But do not rob us of that darling joy.
What else is like it, dearest Lysistrata?

Anything else? Oh, tell me to walk through fire
But don't take away that precious joy.
What else compares to it, my dearest Lysistrata?

LYSISTRATA

And you?

MYRRHINE

O please give me the fire instead.

LYSISTRATA

Lewd to the least drop in the tiniest vein,
Our sex is fitly food for Tragic Poets,
Our whole life's but a pile of kisses and babies.
But, hardy Spartan, if you join with me
All may be righted yet. O help me, help me.

Lewd to the slightest drop in the tiniest vein,
Our sex is perfectly suited for Tragic Poets,
Our entire life is just a collection of kisses and babies.
But, brave Spartan, if you stand with me
Everything can still be fixed. Oh help me, help me.

LAMPITO

It's a sair, sair thing to ask of us, by the Twa,
A lass to sleep her lane and never fill
Love's lack except wi' makeshifts.... But let it be.
Peace maun be thought of first.

It's a sad, sad thing to ask of us, by the Two,
A girl to sleep alone and never fill
Love's lack except with makeshift solutions.... But let it be.
Peace must come first.

LYSISTRATA

My friend, my friend!
The only one amid this herd of weaklings.

My friend, my friend!
The only one among this group of weaklings.

CALONICE

But if--which heaven forbid--we should refrain
As you would have us, how is Peace induced?

But if—heaven forbid—we hold back
As you would want us, how is Peace achieved?

LYSISTRATA

By the two Goddesses, now can't you see
All we have to do is idly sit indoors
With smooth roses powdered on our cheeks,
Our bodies burning naked through the folds
Of shining Amorgos' silk, and meet the men
With our dear Venus-plats plucked trim and neat.
Their stirring love will rise up furiously,
They'll beg our arms to open. That's our time!
We'll disregard their knocking, beat them off--
And they will soon be rabid for a Peace.
I'm sure of it.

By the two Goddesses, can’t you see
All we have to do is sit back indoors
With soft roses dusted on our cheeks,
Our bodies burning bare beneath the folds
Of shining Amorgos’ silk, and greet the men
With our lovely Venus hairstyles styled neat.
Their passionate love will rise up fiercely,
They'll plead for our arms to open.
That's our moment!
We'll ignore their knocking, push them away--
And they'll soon be desperate for a Peace.
I'm confident of it.

LAMPITO

Just as Menelaus, they say,
Seeing the bosom of his naked Helen
Flang down the sword.

Just like Menelaus, they say,
Seeing the beauty of his naked Helen
Dropped his sword.

CALONICE

But we'll be tearful fools
If our husbands take us at our word and leave us.

But we'll be foolishly emotional
if our husbands believe us and walk away.

LYSISTRATA

There's only left then, in Pherecrates' phrase,
To flay a skinned dog--flay more our flayed desires.

There's only left then, in Pherecrates' words,
To skin a skinned dog--skin more our skinned desires.

CALONICE

Bah, proverbs will never warm a celibate.
But what avail will your scheme be if the men
Drag us for all our kicking on to the couch?

Bah, proverbs will never comfort a single person.
But what good will your plan be if the guys
Force us onto the couch no matter how much we resist?

LYSISTRATA

Cling to the doorposts.

Hold onto the doorframes.

CALONICE

But if they should force us?

But if they try to force us?

LYSISTRATA

Yield then, but with a sluggish, cold indifference.
There is no joy to them in sullen mating.
Besides we have other ways to madden them;
They cannot stand up long, and they've no delight
Unless we fit their aim with merry succour.

Yield then, but with a slow, cold indifference.
There’s no joy for them in gloomy mating.
Besides, we have other ways to drive them crazy;
They can’t hold out for long, and they find no pleasure
Unless we align their goals with cheerful support.

CALONICE

Well if you must have it so, we'll all agree.

Well, if that's how you want it, we'll all agree.

LAMPITO

For us I ha' no doubt. We can persuade
Our men to strike a fair an' decent Peace,
But how will ye pitch out the battle-frenzy
O' the Athenian populace?

For us, I have no doubt. We can convince
our people to go for a fair and
decent peace,
but how will you calm the battle frenzy
of the Athenian crowd?

LYSISTRATA

I promise you
We'll wither up that curse.

I promise you
We'll get rid of that curse.

LAMPITO

I don't believe it.
Not while they own ane trireme oared an' rigged,
Or a' those stacks an' stacks an' stacks O' siller.

I can't believe it.
Not as long as they have a single trireme, rowed and equipped,
Or all those piles and piles and piles of money.

LYSISTRATA

I've thought the whole thing out till there's no flaw.
We shall surprise the Acropolis today:
That is the duty set the older dames.
While we sit here talking, they are to go
And under pretence of sacrificing, seize it.

I've thought everything through, and there's no flaw.
We will surprise the Acropolis today:
That's the task assigned to the older women.
While we sit here talking, they are to go
And, under the guise of making a sacrifice, take it.

LAMPITO

Certie, that's fine; all's working for the best.

Sure, that's fine; everything's working out for the best.

LYSISTRATA

Now quickly, Lampito, let us tie ourselves
To this high purpose as tightly as the hemp of words
Can knot together.

Now quickly, Lampito, let’s commit ourselves
To this noble goal as tightly as the strands of words
Can bind us together.

LAMPITO

Set out the terms in detail
And we'll a' swear to them.

Set out the terms in detail
And we'll all swear to them.

LYSISTRATA

Of course.... Well then
Where is our Scythianess? Why are you staring?
First lay the shield, boss downward, on the floor
And bring the victim's inwards.

Of course.... Well then
Where is our Scythian woman? Why are you staring?
First, lay the shield with the boss facing down on the floor
And bring the victim's entrails.

CAILONICE

But, Lysistrata,
What is this oath that we're to swear?

But, Lysistrata,
What is this oath we’re supposed to take?

LYSISTRATA

What oath!
In Aeschylus they take a slaughtered sheep
And swear upon a buckler. Why not we?

What an oath!
In Aeschylus, they take a slaughtered sheep
And swear on a shield. Why can't we?

CALONICE

O Lysistrata, Peace sworn on a buckler!

O Lysistrata, peace pledged on a shield!

LYSISTRATA

What oath would suit us then?

What oath would be right for us then?

CALONICE

Something burden bearing
Would be our best insignia.... A white horse!
Let's swear upon its entrails.

Something heavy to bear
Would be our best symbol.... A white horse!
Let’s swear on its insides.

LYSISTRATA

A horse indeed!

A real horse!

CALONICE

Then what will symbolise us?

Then what will represent us?

LYSISTRATA

This, as I tell you--
First set a great dark bowl upon the ground
And disembowel a skin of Thasian wine,
Then swear that we'll not add a drop of water.

This, as I’m telling you—
First, place a large dark bowl on the ground
And pour out a skin of Thasian wine,
Then swear that we won't add a single drop of water.

LAMPITO
Ah, what aith could clink pleasanter than that!

LAMPITO
Ah, what joy could be more delightful than that!

LYSISTRATA
Bring me a bowl then and a skin of wine.

LYSISTRATA
Get me a bowl and a bottle of wine.

CALONICE
My dears, see what a splendid bowl it is;
I'd not say No if asked to sip it off.

CALONICE
My dears, look at this beautiful bowl;
I'd happily drink from it if asked.

LYSISTRATA
  Put down the bowl. Lay hands, all, on the victim.
  Skiey Queen who givest the last word in arguments,
  And thee, O Bowl, dear comrade, we beseech:
  Accept our oblation and be propitious to us.

LYSISTRATA
  Put down the bowl. Everyone, grab the victim.
  Sky Queen, who gives the final say in arguments,
  And you, O Bowl, dear friend, we ask:
  Accept our offering and be favorable to us.

CALONICE
What healthy blood, la, how it gushes out!

CALONICE
What healthy blood! Wow, look how it flows!

LAMPITO
An' what a leesome fragrance through the air.

LAMPITO
And what a lovely fragrance is in the air.

LYSISTRATA
Now, dears, if you will let me, I'll speak first.

LYSISTRATA
Okay, everyone, if you don't mind, I'll go first.

CALONICE
Only if you draw the lot, by Aphrodite!

CALONICE
Only if you pick the short straw, by Aphrodite!

LYSISTRATA
  SO, grasp the brim, you, Lampito, and all.
  You, Calonice, repeat for the rest
  Each word I say. Then you must all take oath
  And pledge your arms to the same stern conditions--

LYSISTRATA
  Okay, hold on to your hats, Lampito, and everyone else.
  You, Calonice, echo everything I say to the others.
  Then you all need to swear an oath
  And commit your support to the same serious terms--

LYSISTRATA
To husband or lover I'll not open arms

LYSISTRATA
I won't embrace my husband or lover.

CALONICE

To husband or lover I'll not open arms

To a husband or lover, I won't open my arms

LYSISTRATA

Though love and denial may enlarge his charms.

Though love and denial may enhance his appeal.

CALONICE

Though love and denial may enlarge his charms.
O, O, my knees are failing me, Lysistrata!

Even though love and denial might make him more appealing.
Oh, my knees are giving out on me, Lysistrata!

LYSISTRATA

But still at home, ignoring him, I'll stay,

But I’ll still stay home, ignoring him.

CALONICE

But still at home, ignoring him, I'll stay,

But still at home, ignoring him, I’ll stay,

LYSISTRATA

Beautiful, clad in saffron silks all day.

Beautiful, dressed in saffron silks all day.

CALONICE

Beautiful, clad in saffron silks all day.

Beautiful, dressed in saffron silks all day.

LYSISTRATA

If then he seizes me by dint of force,

If he then grabs me by using force,

CALONICE

If then he seizes me by dint of force,

If he then grabs me by force,

LYSISTRATA

I'll give him reason for a long remorse.

I'll give him plenty to regret for a long time.

CALONICE

I'll give him reason for a long remorse.

I'll give him plenty of reasons to feel regret for a long time.

LYSISTRATA

I'll never lie and stare up at the ceiling,

I'll never lie and look up at the ceiling,

CALONICE

I'll never lie and stare up at the ceiling,

I'll never lie and look up at the ceiling,

LYSISTRATA

Nor like a lion on all fours go kneeling.

Nor like a lion on all fours go down on my knees.

CALONICE

Nor like a lion on all fours go kneeling.

Nor crawl on all fours like a lion.

LYSISTRATA

If I keep faith, then bounteous cups be mine.

If I stay faithful, then abundant rewards will be mine.

CALONICE

If I keep faith, then bounteous cups be mine.

If I stay faithful, then I will have abundant blessings.

LYSISTRATA

If not, to nauseous water change this wine.

If not, then change this wine to something nauseatingly watery.

CALONICE
If not, to nauseous water change this wine.

CALONICE
If not, then switch this wine for some disgusting water.

LYSISTRATA

Do you all swear to this?

Do you all promise to this?

MYRRHINE

We do, we do.

We do.

LYSISTRATA

Then I shall immolate the victim thus.
She drinks.

Then I'll sacrifice the victim like this.
She drinks.

CALONICE

Here now, share fair, haven't we made a pact?
Let's all quaff down that friendship in our turn.

Here now, share fairly, haven't we made a deal?
Let's all drink to that friendship in our turn.

LAMPITO

Hark, what caterwauling hubbub's that?

Hey, what's that loud noise?

LYSISTRATA

As I told you,
The women have appropriated the citadel.
So, Lampito, dash off to your own land
And raise the rebels there. These will serve as hostages,
While we ourselves take our places in the ranks
And drive the bolts right home.

As I mentioned,
The women have taken control of the fortress.
So, Lampito, hurry back to your homeland
And gather the rebels there. These will act as hostages,
While we take our positions in the ranks
And hit them hard.

CALONICE

But won't the men
March straight against us?

But won’t the men
march straight toward us?

LYSISTRATA

And what if they do?
No threat shall creak our hinges wide, no torch
Shall light a fear in us; we will come out
To Peace alone.

And what if they do?
No threat will make our doors creak open, no light
Will spark fear in us; we will step out
For Peace only.

CALONICE

That's it, by Aphrodite!
As of old let us seem hard and obdurate.

That's it, by Aphrodite!
As in the past, let's act tough and unyielding.

LAMPITO and some go off; the others go up into the Acropolis.

LAMPITO and some leave; the others head up to the Acropolis.

Chorus of OLD MEN enter to attack the captured Acropolis.

Make room, Draces, move ahead; why your shoulder's chafed, I see,
With lugging uphill these lopped branches of the olive-tree.
How upside-down and wrong-way-round a long life sees things grow.
Ah, Strymodorus, who'd have thought affairs could tangle so?

Make way, Draces, keep going; I can tell your shoulder's sore
From hauling these chopped olive branches up the hill.
It's funny how a long life can make everything seem so mixed up.
Ah, Strymodorus, who would have thought things could get so complicated?

The women whom at home we fed,
Like witless fools, with fostering bread,
Have impiously come to this--
They've stolen the Acropolis,
With bolts and bars our orders flout
And shut us out.

The women we fed at home,
Like clueless fools, with nurturing bread,
Have shamelessly come to this--
They've stolen the Acropolis,
Ignoring our orders with bolts and bars
And shutting us out.

Come, Philurgus, bustle thither; lay our faggots on the ground,
In neat stacks beleaguering the insurgents all around;
And the vile conspiratresses, plotters of such mischief dire,
Pile and burn them all together in one vast and righteous pyre:
Fling with our own hands Lycon's wife to fry in the thickest fire.
By Demeter, they'll get no brag while I've a vein to beat!
Cleomenes himself was hurtled out in sore defeat.
His stiff-backed Spartan pride was bent.
Out, stripped of all his arms, he went:
A pigmy cloak that would not stretch
To hide his rump (the draggled wretch),
Six sprouting years of beard, the spilth
Of six years' filth.

Come on, Philurgus, hurry over there; stack our firewood on the ground,
In neat piles surrounding the rebels all around;
And those awful conspirators, schemers of such terrible mischief,
Let's pile them up and burn them all together in one big, just bonfire:
Throw Lycon's wife into the hottest part of the fire with our own hands.
By Demeter, they won't get any glory while I can still fight back!
Cleomenes himself was thrown out in a crushing defeat.
His stiff-backed Spartan pride was broken.
He left stripped of all his armor:
Wearing a tiny cloak that wouldn't even stretch
To cover his backside (the pathetic wretch),
With six years of beard growth, and the grime
Of six years' worth of dirt.

That was a siege! Our men were ranged in lines of seventeen deep
Before the gates, and never left their posts there, even to sleep.
Shall I not smite the rash presumption then of foes like these,
Detested both of all the gods and of Euripides--
Else, may the Marathon-plain not boast my trophied victories!

That was a siege! Our men stood in lines seventeen deep
Before the gates, and never left their posts, not even to sleep.
Shouldn't I strike down the reckless arrogance of enemies like these,
Hated by all the gods and by Euripides--
Otherwise, may the Marathon plain not claim my celebrated victories!

Ah, now, there's but a little space
To reach the place!
A deadly climb it is, a tricky road
With all this bumping load:
A pack-ass soon would tire....
How these logs bruise my shoulders! further still
Jog up the hill,
And puff the fire inside,
Or just as we reach the top we'll find it's died.
Ough, phew!
I choke with the smoke.

Ah, now, there's only a little distance
To get to the spot!
It's a deadly climb, a tricky path
With all this heavy load:
A pack donkey would get tired quickly....
How these logs hurt my shoulders!
Even further still
Jog up the hill,
And stoke the fire inside,
Or just as we reach the top we'll find it's gone out.
Ugh, phew!
I’m choking on the smoke.

Lord Heracles, how acrid-hot
Out of the pot
This mad-dog smoke leaps, worrying me
And biting angrily....
'Tis Lemnian fire that smokes,
Or else it would not sting my eyelids thus....
Haste, all of us;
Athene invokes our aid.
Laches, now or never the assault must be made!
Ough, phew!
I choke with the smoke. ..

Lord Heracles, how fiery-hot
This crazy smoke
Leaps out of the pot,
Worrying me
And biting angrily....
It’s Lemnian fire that
Smokes,
Or else it wouldn’t sting my eyelids like this....
Hurry, everyone;
Athene calls for our help.
Laches, now or never we must attack!
Ugh, phew!
I’m choking on the smoke...

Thanked be the gods! The fire peeps up and crackles as it should.
Now why not first slide off our backs these weary loads of wood
And dip a vine-branch in the brazier till it glows, then straight
Hurl it at the battering-ram against the stubborn gate?
If they refuse to draw the bolts in immediate compliance,
We'll set fire to the wood, and smoke will strangle their defiance.

Thank the gods! The fire is popping up and crackling like it should.
Now, why don’t we first get rid of these heavy loads of wood
and dip a branch in the fire until it glows, then just
throw it at the battering ram against the stubborn gate?
If they don’t immediately open the bolts,
we’ll set the wood on fire, and the smoke will suffocate their defiance.

Phew, what a spluttering drench of smoke! Come, now from off my back....
Is there no Samos-general to help me to unpack?
Ah there, that's over! For the last time now it's galled my shoulder.
Flare up thine embers, brazier, and dutifully smoulder,
To kindle a brand, that I the first may strike the citadel.
Aid me, Lady Victory, that a triumph-trophy may tell
How we did anciently this insane audacity quell!

Phew, what a choking cloud of smoke! Come on, get off my back...
Is there no general from Samos to help me unpack?
Ah, that’s finally over! For the last time, it's hurt my shoulder.
Ignite your embers, brazier, and smolder away,
So I can light a torch and be the first to strike the citadel.
Help me, Lady Victory, so we can have a trophy
that shows how we defeated this crazy challenge in the past!

Chorus of WOMEN.

Women’s Chorus.

What's that rising yonder? That ruddy glare, that smoky skurry?
O is it something in a blaze? Quick, quick, my comrades, hurry!
Nicodice, helter-skelter!
Or poor Calyce's in flames
And Cratylla's stifled in the welter.
O these dreadful old men
And their dark laws of hate!
There, I'm all of a tremble lest I turn out to be too late.
I could scarcely get near to the spring though I rose before dawn,
What with tattling of tongues and rattling of pitchers in one jostling din
With slaves pushing in!....

What's that rising up over there? That red glare, that smoky chaos?
Oh, is it something on fire? Quick, quick, my friends, hurry!
Nicodice, make a run for it!
Or poor Calyce is in flames
And Cratylla's suffocating in the mess.
Oh these terrible old men
And their cruel laws of hate!
There, I'm all a-quiver, fearing I might be too late.
I could barely get close to the spring, even though I woke up before dawn,
With all the gossiping tongues and clattering pitchers in one loud uproar
With slaves pushing in!....

Still here at last the water's drawn
And with it eagerly I run
To help those of my friends who stand
In danger of being burned alive.
For I am told a dribbling band
Of greybeards hobble to the field,
Great faggots in each palsied hand,
As if a hot bath to prepare,
And threatening that out they'll drive
These wicked women or soon leave them charring into ashes
there.
O Goddess, suffer not, I pray, this harsh deed to be done,
But show us Greece and Athens with their warlike acts repealed!
For this alone, in this thy hold,
Thou Goddess with the helm of gold,
We laid hands on thy sanctuary,
Athene.... Then our ally be
And where they cast their fires of slaughter
Direct our water!

Still here at last the water's ready
And with it I eagerly run
To help my friends who stand
In danger of being burned alive.
I hear that a group of old men
Hobbles to the field,
With big sticks in each shaky hand,
As if preparing for a hot bath,
Threatening to drive out
These wicked women or soon leave them charred to ashes
there.
O Goddess, please don't let this harsh act happen,
But show us Greece and Athens with their warlike actions stopped!
For this alone, in this place,
You Goddess with the golden helmet,
We took refuge in your sanctuary,
Athene.... So be our ally
And where they cast their fires of slaughter
Guide our water!

STRATYLLIS (caught)

STRATYLLIS (captured)

Let me go!

WOMEN

You villainous old men, what's this you do?
No honest man, no pious man, could do such things as you.

You wicked old men, what are you up to?
No decent person, no righteous person, could do the things you do.

MEN

Men

Ah ha, here's something most original, I have no doubt:
A swarm of women sentinels to man the walls without.

Ah ha, here's something truly original, I have no doubt:
A group of women guards to watch over the walls outside.

WOMEN

So then we scare you, do we? Do we seem a fearful host?
You only see the smallest fraction mustered at this post.

So we scare you, huh? Do we look like a scary group?
You’re only seeing a tiny part of what we’ve got here.

MEN

Ho, Phaedrias, shall we put a stop to all these chattering tricks?
Suppose that now upon their backs we splintered these our sticks?

Hey, Phaedrias, should we put an end to all this chattering?
What if we broke these sticks on their backs now?

WOMEN

Let us lay down the pitchers, so our bodies will be free,
In case these lumping fellows try to cause some injury.

Let’s put down the pitchers so we can move freely,
In case these clumsy guys try to hurt us.

MEN

O hit them hard and hit again and hit until they run away,
And perhaps they'll learn, like Bupalus, not to have too much to say.

O hit them hard, hit again, and keep hitting until they run away,
And maybe they'll learn, like Bupalus, not to talk too much.

WOMEN

Come on, then--do it! I won't budge, but like a dog I'll bite
At every little scrap of meat that dangles in my sight.

Come on, let’s go—do it! I won’t move, but like a dog, I’ll snap
At every little bit of food that hangs in front of me.

MEN

Guys

Be quiet, or I'll bash you out of any years to come.

Be quiet, or I’ll knock you out for good.

WOMEN

Now you just touch Stratyllis with the top-joint of your thumb.

Now, just touch Stratyllis with the tip of your thumb.

MEN

MALE

What vengeance can you take if with my fists your face I beat?

What revenge can you get if I beat your face with my fists?

WOMEN

I'll rip you with my teeth and strew your entrails at your feet.

I'll tear you apart with my teeth and scatter your insides at your feet.

MEN

Men

Now I appreciate Euripides' strange subtlety:
Woman is the most shameless beast of all the beasts that be.

Now I recognize Euripides' unique insight:
A woman is the most shameless creature of all the creatures that exist.

WOMEN

Rhodippe, come, and let's pick up our water-jars once more.

Rhodippe, come on, let's grab our water jugs again.

MEN

MALE

Ah cursed drab, what have you brought this water for?

Ah, cursed drab, what did you bring this water for?

WOMEN

What is your fire for then, you smelly corpse? Yourself to burn?

What’s your purpose for the fire then, you stinky corpse? Are you going to burn yourself?

MEN

To build a pyre and make your comrades ready for the urn.

To set up a pyre and prepare your friends for the urn.

WOMEN

And I've the water to put out your fire immediately.

And I have the water to put out your fire right now.

MEN

What, you put out my fire?

WOMEN

Yes, sirrah, as you soon will see.

Yes, sir, as you will soon see.

MEN

I don't know why I hesitate to roast you with this flame.

I don't know why I'm reluctant to go all out on you with this heat.

WOMEN

If you have any soap you'll go off cleaner than you came.

If you have any soap, you'll leave cleaner than you arrived.

MEN

Cleaner, you dirty slut?

Cleaner, you dirty person?

WOMEN

A nuptial-bath in which to lie!

A wedding bath to relax in!

MEN

GUYS

Did you hear that insolence?

Did you hear that disrespect?

WOMEN

I'm a free woman, I.

I'm a free woman.

MEN

I'll make you hold your tongue.

I'll make you be quiet.

WOMEN

Henceforth you'll serve in no more juries.

From now on, you won't be serving on any more juries.

MEN

GUYS

Burn off her hair for her.

WOMEN

Now forward, water, quench their furies!

Now go ahead, water, cool their anger!

MEN

O dear, O dear!

Oh no, oh no!

WOMEN

So ... was it hot?

So... was it warm?

MEN

MALES

Hot! ... Enough, O hold.

Hot! ... Enough, oh stop.

WOMEN

Watered, perhaps you'll bloom again--why not?

Watered, maybe you'll blossom again—why not?

MEN

Brrr, I'm wrinkled up from shivering with cold.

Brrr, I'm all bundled up from shivering with cold.

WOMEN

Next time you've fire you'll warm yourself and leave us to our lot.

Next time you have a fire, you'll warm yourself and leave us to deal with our situation.

MAGISTRATE enters with attendant SCYTHIANS.

MAGISTRATE enters with attendants SCYTHIANS.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

Have the luxurious rites of the women glittered
Their libertine show, their drumming tapped out crowds,
The Sabazian Mysteries summoned their mob,
Adonis been wept to death on the terraces,
As I could hear the last day in the Assembly?
For Demostratus--let bad luck befoul him--
Was roaring, "We must sail for Sicily,"
While a woman, throwing herself about in a dance
Lopsided with drink, was shrilling out "Adonis,
Woe for Adonis." Then Demostratus shouted,
"We must levy hoplites at Zacynthus,"
And there the woman, up to the ears in wine,
Was screaming "Weep for Adonis" on the house-top,
The scoundrelly politician, that lunatic ox,
Bellowing bad advice through tipsy shrieks:
Such are the follies wantoning in them.

Have the luxurious rituals of the women sparkled
Their wild display,
Their drumming drawing in crowds,
The Sabazian Mysteries called
Their mob,
Adonis mourned to death on the terraces,
As I could hear the last day in the Assembly?
For Demostratus—let misfortune plague him—
Was yelling, "We need to set sail for Sicily,"
While a woman, dancing wildly
Swaying with drink, was shouting "Adonis,
Woe for Adonis." Then Demostratus shouted,
"We must gather soldiers at Zacynthus,"
And there the woman, completely drunk,
Was wailing "Weep for Adonis" from the rooftop,
The corrupt politician, that crazy ox,
Bellowing foolish advice through drunken yells:
Such are the craziness running rampant among them.

MEN

MALE

O if you knew their full effrontery!
All of the insults they've done, besides sousing us
With water from their pots to our public disgrace
For we stand here wringing our clothes like grown-up infants.

Oh, if you only knew their complete boldness!
All of the insults they've hurled at us, besides soaking us
With water from their pots for all to see
For we stand here wringing out our clothes like grown-up babies.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

By Poseidon, justly done! For in part with us
The blame must lie for dissolute behaviour
And for the pampered appetites they learn.
Thus grows the seedling lust to blossoming:
We go into a shop and say, "Here, goldsmith,
You remember the necklace that you wrought my wife;
Well, the other night in fervour of a dance
Her clasp broke open. Now I'm off for Salamis;
If you've the leisure, would you go tonight
And stick a bolt-pin into her opened clasp."
Another goes to a cobbler; a soldierly fellow,
Always standing up erect, and says to him,
"Cobbler, a sandal-strap of my wife's pinches her,
Hurts her little toe in a place where she's sensitive.
Come at noon and see if you can stretch out wider
This thing that troubles her, loosen its tightness."
And so you view the result. Observe my case--
I, a magistrate, come here to draw
Money to buy oar-blades, and what happens?
The women slam the door full in my face.
But standing still's no use. Bring me a crowbar,
And I'll chastise this their impertinence.
What do you gape at, wretch, with dazzled eyes?
Peering for a tavern, I suppose.
Come, force the gates with crowbars, prise them apart!
I'll prise away myself too.... (LYSISTRATA appears.)

By Poseidon, that’s rightly said! Part of the blame lies with us for
the reckless behavior
and the spoiled desires they pick up.
Thus, the seed of lust grows into something bigger:
We walk into a shop and say, "Hey, goldsmith,
Remember the necklace you made for my wife?
Well, the other night while dancing
her clasp broke. Now I’m heading to Salamis;
If you’ve got time, could you go tonight
and fix the clasp with a bolt-pin?"
Another guy goes to a cobbler; a soldierly type,
always standing straight, and says to him,
"Cobbler, a sandal-strap my wife has is pinching her,
hurting her little toe in a sensitive spot.
Come at noon and see if you can stretch it out
so it’s not so tight and bothers her."
And so you see the results. Look at me—
I, a magistrate, came here to get money
to buy oar-blades, and what happens?
The women slam the door right in my face.
But standing around doesn’t help. Get me a crowbar,
and I'll punish their rudeness.
What are you staring at, you fool, with wide eyes?
Looking for a tavern, I bet.
Come on, use the crowbars to pry the gates open!
I’ll pry them open myself too.... (LYSISTRATA appears.)

LYSISTRATA

Stop this banging.
I'm coming of my own accord.... Why bars?
It is not bars we need but common sense.

Stop this noise.
I'm coming on my own. Why use bars?
We don't need bars, we need common sense.

MAGISTRATE

Judge

Indeed, you slut! Where is the archer now?
Arrest this woman, tie her hands behind.

Indeed, you slut! Where's the archer now?
Arrest this woman, tie her hands behind.

LYSISTRATA

If he brushes me with a finger, by Artemis,
The public menial, he'll be sorry for it.

If he touches me with a finger, by Artemis,
That public servant is going to regret it.

MAGISTRATE

Are you afraid? Grab her about the middle.
Two of you then, lay hands on her and end it.

Are you scared? Grab her around the waist.
The two of you then, put your hands on her and finish it.

CALONICE

By Pandrosos I if your hand touches her
I'll spread you out and trample on your guts.

By Pandrosos I, if your hand touches her
I'll spread you out and trample on your guts.

MAGISTRATE

My guts! Where is the other archer gone?
Bind that minx there who talks so prettily.

My stomach! Where did the other archer go?
Tie up that girl over there who speaks so charmingly.

MYRRHINE

By Phosphor, if your hand moves out her way
You'd better have a surgeon somewhere handy.

By Phosphor, if your hand moves out of her way
You'd better have a surgeon nearby.

MAGISTRATE

Judge

You too! Where is that archer? Take that woman.
I'll put a stop to these surprise-parties.

You too! Where's that archer? Grab that woman.
I’m going to put an end to these surprise parties.

STRATYLLIS

By the Tauric Artemis, one inch nearer
My fingers, and it's a bald man that'll be yelling.

By the Tauric Artemis, just an inch closer
My fingers, and it'll be a bald guy who's shouting.

MAGISTRATE

Judge

Tut tut, what's here? Deserted by my archers....
But surely women never can defeat us;
Close up your ranks, my Scythians. Forward at them.

Tut tut, what's going on here? Abandoned by my archers....
But surely women can never defeat us;
Tighten your ranks, my Scythians. Move forward against them.

LYSISTRATA

By the Goddesses, you'll find that here await you
Four companies of most pugnacious women
Armed cap-a-pie from the topmost louring curl
To the lowest angry dimple.

By the Goddesses, you'll find that here await you
Four groups of the most fierce women
Fully armed from head to toe
To the lowest angry dimple.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

On, Scythians, bind them.

Go, Scythians, tie them up.

LYSISTRATA

On, gallant allies of our high design,
Vendors of grain-eggs-pulse-and-vegetables,
Ye garlic-tavern-keepers of bakeries,
Strike, batter, knock, hit, slap, and scratch our foes,
Be finely imprudent, say what you think of them....
Enough! retire and do not rob the dead.

Come on, brave allies of our great mission,
Sellers of grains, eggs, legumes, and vegetables,
You garlic-loving tavern owners of bakeries,
Strike, hit, knock, slap, and scratch our enemies,
Be boldly outspoken, say what you really think of them...
Enough! Step back and don’t take advantage of the fallen.

MAGISTRATE

Judge

How basely did my archer-force come off.

How badly did my archers perform?

LYSISTRATA

Ah, ha, you thought it was a herd of slaves
You had to tackle, and you didn't guess
The thirst for glory ardent in our blood.

Ah, ha, you thought it was a group of slaves
You had to confront, and
You didn't realize
The strong desire for glory in our blood.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

By Apollo, I know well the thirst that heats you--
Especially when a wine-skin's close.

By Apollo, I know that feeling of thirst that drives you crazy--
Especially when a wine skin is nearby.

MEN

MALE

You waste your breath, dear magistrate, I fear, in answering back.
What's the good of argument with such a rampageous pack?
Remember how they washed us down (these very clothes I wore)
With water that looked nasty and that smelt so even more.

You’re wasting your breath, dear magistrate, I think, by replying.
What's the point of arguing with such a wild group?
Remember how they drenched us (in these same clothes I have on)
With water that looked terrible and smelled even worse.

WOMEN

What else to do, since you advanced too dangerously nigh.
If you should do the same again, I'll punch you in the eye.
Though I'm a stay-at-home and most a quiet life enjoy,
Polite to all and every (for I'm naturally coy),
Still if you wake a wasps' nest then of wasps you must beware.

What else can you do, since you got way too close?
If you do that again, I’ll punch you in the eye.
Even though I’m more of a homebody and prefer a quiet life,
I’m polite to everyone (because I’m naturally shy),
But if you poke a wasp’s nest, then you need to watch out for the wasps.

MEN

How may this ferocity be tamed? It grows too great to bear.
Let us question them and find if they'll perchance declare
The reason why they strangely dare
To seize on Cranaos' citadel,
This eyrie inaccessible,
This shrine above the precipice,
The Acropolis.
Probe them and find what they mean with this idle talk; listen,
but watch they don't try to deceive.
You'd be neglecting your duty most certainly if now this mystery
unplumbed you leave.

How can we tame this wildness? It’s becoming too much to handle.
Let’s question them and see if they might reveal
The reason they dare
To take over Cranaos' fortress,
This unreachable place,
This monument above the cliff,
The Acropolis.
Question them and find out what they mean with this pointless chatter; listen,
but be careful they don’t try to trick you.
It would be a serious oversight to leave this mystery
unexplored.

MAGISTRATE

Judge

Women there! Tell what I ask you, directly....
Come, without rambling, I wish you to state
What's your rebellious intention in barring up thus on our noses
our own temple-gate.

Women there! Tell me what I ask you, directly....
Come on, no beating around the bush, I want you to say
What your rebellious plan is in shutting us out
from our own temple-gate.

LYSISTRATA

To take first the treasury out of your management, and so stop the war
through the absence of gold.

To first remove control of the treasury from you, and thereby end the war
due to the lack of funds.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

Is gold then the cause of the war?

Is gold the reason for the war?

LYSISTRATA

Yes, gold caused it and miseries more, too many to be told.
'Twas for money, and money alone, that Pisander with all of the army of
mob-agitators.
Raised up revolutions. But, as for the future, it won't be worth while
to set up to be traitors.
Not an obol they'll get as their loot, not an obol! while we have the
treasure-chest in our command.

Yes, gold caused it and so many more miseries that are too many to count.
It was for money, and money alone, that Pisander along with all the mob instigators
sparked revolutions. But looking ahead, it won’t be worth it
to act like traitors.
They won’t get a single coin as their plunder, not a single coin! while we control the
treasure chest.

MAGISTRATE

What then is that you propose?

What is it that you suggest?

LYSISTRATA

Just this--merely to take the exchequer henceforth in hand.

Just this—simply to take control of the treasury from now on.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

The exchequer!

The treasury!

LYSISTRATA

Yes, why not? Of our capabilities you have had various clear evidences.
Firstly remember we have always administered soundly the budget of all
home-expenses.

Yes, why not? You've seen plenty of clear evidence of our capabilities.
First, remember that we've always managed the budget for all
household expenses effectively.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

But this matter's different.

But this situation is different.

LYSISTRATA

How is it different?

What's the difference?

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

Why, it deals chiefly with war-time supplies.

Why, it mainly focuses on supplies for wartime.

LYSISTRATA

But we abolish war straight by our policy.

But we eliminate war directly through our policy.

MAGISTRATE

Judge

What will you do if emergencies arise?

What will you do if emergencies come up?

LYSISTRATA

Face them our own way.

Face them in our own way.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

What you will?

What will you?

LYSISTRATA

Yes we will!

Yes, we will!

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

Then there's no help for it; we're all destroyed.

Then there's no way around it; we're all finished.

LYSISTRATA

No, willy-nilly you must be safeguarded.

No, whether you like it or not, you have to be protected.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

What madness is this?

What is this madness?

LYSISTRATA

Why, it seems you're annoyed.
It must be done, that's all.

Why, it looks like you're annoyed.
It needs to be done, that's all.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

Such awful oppression never,
O never in the past yet I bore.

Such terrible oppression never,
oh never have I faced in the past.

LYSISTRATA

You must be saved, sirrah--that's all there is to it.

You need to be saved, my friend—there's nothing more to say about it.

MAGISTRATE

If we don't want to be saved?

LYSISTRATA

All the more.

Even more.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

Why do you women come prying and meddling in matters of state touching
war-time and peace?

Why do you women come snooping and interfering in matters of state related to war and peace?

LYSISTRATA

That I will tell you.

I'll tell you that.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

O tell me or quickly I'll--

LYSISTRATA

Hearken awhile and from threatening cease.

Listen for a moment and stop being so threatening.

MAGISTRATE

Judge

I cannot, I cannot; it's growing too insolent.

I can't, I can't; it's becoming too rude.

WOMEN

Come on; you've far more than we have to dread.

Come on; you have a lot more to worry about than we do.

MAGISTRATE

Judge

Stop from your croaking, old carrion-crow there....
Continue.

Stop your croaking, old carrion crow...
Continue.

LYSISTRATA

Be calm then and I'll go ahead.
All the long years when the hopeless war dragged along we, unassuming,
forgotten in quiet,
Endured without question, endured in our loneliness all your incessant
child's antics and riot.
Our lips we kept tied, though aching with silence, though well all the
while in our silence we knew
How wretchedly everything still was progressing by listening dumbly the
day long to you.
For always at home you continued discussing the war and its politics
loudly, and we
Sometimes would ask you, our hearts deep with sorrowing though we spoke
lightly, though happy to see,
"What's to be inscribed on the side of the Treaty-stone
What, dear, was said in the Assembly today?"
"Mind your own business," he'd answer me growlingly
"hold your tongue, woman, or else go away."
And so I would hold it.

Be calm then and I’ll move forward.
Throughout those long years when the endless war dragged on, we, humble and
forgotten in silence,
endured without complaint, enduring our isolation and your constant
childish antics and chaos.
We kept our lips sealed, even though they ached with unspoken words, knowing all the
while in our silence
how pitifully everything was still unfolding as we listened silently to you
all day long.
Because at home, you kept talking loudly about the war
and its politics,
and we
would sometimes ask you, our hearts heavy with sadness even though we spoke
lightly, happy to see,
"What’s going to be carved on the side of the Treaty-stone?
What, dear, was discussed in the Assembly today?"
"Mind your own business," he’d grumble back at me,
"keep quiet, woman, or just go away."
So I would keep quiet.

WOMEN

I'd not be silent for any man living on earth, no, not I!

I'd never be silent for anyone living on this planet, no way!

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

Not for a staff?

Not for a team?

LYSISTRATA

Well, so I did nothing but sit in the house, feeling dreary, and sigh,
While ever arrived some fresh tale of decisions more foolish by far and
presaging disaster.
Then I would say to him, "O my dear husband, why still do they rush on
destruction the faster?"
At which he would look at me sideways, exclaiming, "Keep for your web
and your shuttle your care,
Or for some hours hence your cheeks will be sore and hot; leave this
alone, war is Man's sole affair!"

Well, I just sat around the house, feeling down and sighing,
while new stories kept coming in, each one more foolish than the last and
hinting at disaster.
Then I would tell him, "Oh my dear husband, why
do they keep rushing into destruction even faster?"
He would look at me sideways and say, "Focus on your weaving
and your tasks,
or soon your cheeks will be flushed and hot; just leave this
alone, war is a man's business!"

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

By Zeus, but a man of fine sense, he.

By Zeus, he's a man of great sense.

LYSISTRATA

How sensible?
You dotard, because he at no time had lent
His intractable ears to absorb from our counsel one temperate word of
advice, kindly meant?
But when at the last in the streets we heard shouted (everywhere ringing
the ominous cry)
"Is there no one to help us, no saviour in Athens?" and, "No, there is
no one," come back in reply.
At once a convention of all wives through Hellas here for a serious
purpose was held,
To determine how husbands might yet back to wisdom despite their
reluctance in time be compelled.
Why then delay any longer? It's settled. For the future you'll take
up our old occupation.
Now in turn you're to hold tongue, as we did, and listen while we show
the way to recover the nation.

How unreasonable?
You old fool, because he never listened
to our advice, which was truly meant to help?
But then, when we heard shouted in the streets (the
ominous cry echoing everywhere)
"Is there no one to help us, no savior in Athens?" and, "No, there is
no one," coming back in response.
Immediately, a gathering of all the wives across Hellas was held
for a serious purpose,
to figure out how husbands could still be brought back to their senses,
despite their resistance.
So why wait any longer? It's decided. From now on, you'll take
up our old role.
Now, it’s your turn to be quiet, just like we were,
and listen while we show
the way to restore the nation.

MAGISTRATE

You talk to us! Why, you're mad. I'll not stand it.

You talk to us! Why, you're crazy. I won't put up with it.

LYSISTRATA

Cease babbling, you fool; till I end, hold your tongue.

Cease your nonsense, you fool; keep quiet until I’m done.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

If I should take orders from one who wears veils, may my
neck straightaway be deservedly wrung.

If I have to take orders from someone who wears veils, then I deserve to be punished right away.

LYSISTRATA

O if that keeps pestering you,
I've a veil here for your hair,
I'll fit you out in everything
As is only fair.

O if that keeps bothering you,
I've got a veil here for your hair,
I'll get you set up with everything
As is only right.

CALONICE

Here's a spindle that will do.

Here's a spindle that will work.

MYRRHINE

I'll add a wool-basket too.

I'll add a basket too.

LYSISTRATA

Girdled now sit humbly at home,
Munching beans, while you card wool and comb. For war from now on
is the Women's affair.

Girdled now sit quietly at home,
Snacking on beans, while you card wool and comb. From now on,
war is the Women's responsibility.

WOMEN.

Come then, down pitchers, all,
And on, courageous of heart,
In our comradely venture
Each taking her due part.

Come on, everyone,
And let's be brave together,
In our team effort,
Each of us playing our part.

I could dance, dance, dance, and be fresher after,
I could dance away numberless suns,
To no weariness let my knees bend.
Earth I could brave with laughter,
Having such wonderful girls here to friend.
O the daring, the gracious, the beautiful ones!
Their courage unswerving and witty
Will rescue our city.

I could dance, dance, dance, and feel even more energized afterward,
I could dance away countless sunsets,
Letting my knees stay strong without getting tired.
I could face the earth with laughter,
With such amazing girls here as friends.
Oh, the bold, the graceful, the beautiful ones!
Their unwavering courage and cleverness
Will save our city.

O sprung from the seed of most valiant-wombed grand-mothers,
scions of savage and dangerous nettles!
Prepare for the battle, all. Gird up your angers. Our way
the wind of sweet victory settles.

O sprung from the seed of the bravest grandmothers, descendants of fierce and perilous nettles! Get ready for battle, everyone. Gird up your anger. Our path the wind of sweet victory rests.

LYSISTRATA

O tender Eros and Lady of Cyprus, some flush of beauty I
pray you devise
To flash on our bosoms and, O Aphrodite, rosily gleam on
our valorous thighs!
Joy will raise up its head through the legions warring and
all of the far-serried ranks of mad-love
Bristle the earth to the pillared horizon, pointing in vain to
the heavens above.
I think that perhaps then they'll give us our title--
Peace-makers.

O tender Eros and Lady of Cyprus, grant us a burst of beauty
that will shine on our hearts, and, O Aphrodite, glow warmly on
our brave thighs!
Joy will rise amidst the battling armies and
all the distant ranks of mad love
will shake the earth to the horizon, pointing uselessly to
the heavens above.
I believe that maybe then they'll call us our title--
Peace-makers.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

What do you mean? Please explain.

What do you mean? Can you explain that?

LYSISTRATA

First, we'll not see you now flourishing arms about into the
Marketing-place clang again.

First, we won't see you waving your arms around in the
Marketplace again.

WOMEN
No, by the Paphian.

WOMEN
No, by the goddess.

LYSISTRATA

Still I can conjure them as past were the herbs stand or crockery's sold
Like Corybants jingling (poor sots) fully armoured, they noisily round
on their promenade strolled.

Still I can summon them as if they were the herbs that are sold or the pottery on display
Like Corybants clinking (poor souls) completely geared up, they loudly wandered
on their leisurely stroll.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

And rightly; that's discipline, they--

And rightly; that's discipline, they—

LYSISTRATA

But what's sillier than to go on an errand of buying a fish
Carrying along an immense. Gorgon-buckler instead the usual platter
or dish?
A phylarch I lately saw, mounted on horse-back, dressed for the part
with long ringlets and all,
Stow in his helmet the omelet bought steaming from an old woman who
kept a food-stall.
Nearby a soldier, a Thracian, was shaking wildly his spear like Tereus
in the play,
To frighten a fig-girl while unseen the ruffian filched from her
fruit-trays the ripest away.

But what's more ridiculous than going out to buy a fish
while carrying an enormous Gorgon shield instead of the usual platter
or dish?
I recently saw a leader, mounted on horseback, dressed for the occasion
with long curls and all,
storing a hot omelet he bought from an old woman who
ran a food stall.
Nearby, a soldier, a Thracian, was wildly shaking his spear like Tereus
in the play,
trying to scare a girl selling figs while the scoundrel discreetly stole
the ripest fruits from her trays.

MAGISTRATE

Judge

How, may I ask, will your rule re-establish order and justice in lands
so tormented?

How, if I may ask, will your leadership restore order and justice in such troubled lands?

LYSISTRATA

Nothing is easier.

Nothing is simpler.

MAGISTRATE

Judge

Out with it speedily--what is this plan that you boast you've invented?

Spit it out quickly—what’s this plan you claim you came up with?

LYSISTRATA

If, when yarn we are winding, It chances to tangle, then, as perchance you
may know, through the skein
This way and that still the spool we keep passing till it is finally clear
all again:
So to untangle the War and its errors, ambassadors out on all sides we will
send
This way and that, here, there and round about--soon you will find that the
War has an end.

If, while we’re winding yarn, it happens to get tangled, then, as you might know, we keep passing the spool this way and that until it's finally untangled again. So to sort out the War and its mistakes, we will send ambassadors everywhere—here, there, and all around—before long, you'll see that the War will come to an end.

MAGISTRATE

Judge

So with these trivial tricks of the household, domestic analogies of
threads, skeins and spools,
You think that you'll solve such a bitter complexity, unwind such political
problems, you fools!

So with these petty household tricks, homey analogies of
threads, skeins, and spools,
You think you can untangle such a bitter complexity, solve such political
issues, you fools!

LYSISTRATA

Well, first as we wash dirty wool so's to cleanse it, so with a pitiless
zeal we will scrub
Through the whole city for all greasy fellows; burrs too, the parasites,
off we will rub.
That verminous plague of insensate place-seekers soon between thumb and
forefinger we'll crack.
All who inside Athens' walls have their dwelling into one great common
basket we'll pack.
Disenfranchised or citizens, allies or aliens, pell-mell the lot of them
in we will squeeze.
Till they discover humanity's meaning.... As for disjointed and far
colonies,
Them you must never from this time imagine as scattered about just like
lost hanks of wool.
Each portion we'll take and wind in to this centre, inward to Athens
each loyalty pull,
Till from the vast heap where all's piled together at last can be woven
a strong Cloak of State.

Well, just like we wash dirty wool to clean it, we will relentlessly scrub through the entire city to find all the greasy people; we'll also brush off the burrs, the parasites. We'll quickly deal with that pesky plague of thoughtless folks looking for a place to settle. Everyone living within Athens' walls will be thrown into one big common basket. Whether they're disenfranchised or citizens, allies or outsiders, we'll stuff them all in together. Until they understand what it means to be human… And as for disconnected and distant colonies, you should never think of them as scattered around like lost strands of wool. We'll take each part and draw it into this center, pulling every loyalty in toward Athens, until from the massive heap where everything is piled up, we can finally weave a strong Cloak of State.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

How terrible is it to stand here and watch them carding and winding at
will with our fate,
Witless in war as they are.

How awful is it to stand here and watch them spinning and unwinding our fate,
clueless in battle as they are.

LYSISTRATA

What of us then, who ever in vain for our children must weep
Borne but to perish afar and in vain?

What about us then, who must weep in vain for our children?
Born only to perish far away and for nothing?

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

Not that, O let that one memory sleep!

Not that, oh, let that memory rest!

LYSISTRATA

Then while we should be companioned still merrily, happy as brides may,
the livelong night,
Kissing youth by, we are forced to lie single.... But leave for a moment
our pitiful plight,
It hurts even more to behold the poor maidens helpless wrinkling in
staler virginity.

Then while we should still be enjoying each other’s company, as happy as brides,
the whole night long,
kissing youth away, we’re forced to stay single....
But for a moment, let’s set aside
our sad situation,
It hurts even more to see the poor girls helplessly aging in
stale virginity.

MAGISTRATE

Judge

Does not a man age?

Doesn't a man age?

LYSISTRATA

Not in the same way. Not as a woman grows withered, grows he.
He, when returned from the war, though grey-headed, yet
if he wishes can choose out a wife.
But she has no solace save peering for omens, wretched and
lonely the rest of her life.

Not in the same way. Not as a woman becomes old and frail, he does.
He, when he comes back from the war, although he has grey hair, can still choose a wife if he wants.
But she has no comfort except searching for signs, miserable and
alone for the rest of her life.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

But the old man will often select--

But the old man will often choose--

LYSISTRATA

O why not finish and die?
A bier is easy to buy,
A honey-cake I'll knead you with joy,
This garland will see you are decked.

O why not just finish and die?
A coffin is easy to get,
A honey treat I'll make for you with joy,
This garland will ensure you're adorned.

CALONICE

I've a wreath for you too.

I've got a wreath for you too.

MYRRHINE

I also will fillet you.

I’ll also fillet you.

LYSISTRATA

What more is lacking? Step aboard the boat.
See, Charon shouts ahoy.
You're keeping him, he wants to shove afloat.

What else is missing? Get on the boat.
Look, Charon calls out.
You're holding him back; he wants to set sail.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

Outrageous insults! Thus my place to flout!
Now to my fellow-magistrates I'll go
And what you've perpetrated on me show.

Outrageous insults! Time for me to show off!
Now I'm off to my fellow magistrates
To reveal what you've done to me.

LYSISTRATA

Why are you blaming us for laying you out?
Assure yourself we'll not forget to make
The third day offering early for your sake.

Why are you blaming us for taking you down?
Rest assured we won’t forget to make
The third day offering early for you.

MAGISTRATE retires, LYSISTRATA returns within.

MAGISTRATE retires, LYSISTRATA comes back inside.

OLD MEN.

Older men.

All men who call your loins your own, awake at last, arise
And strip to stand in readiness. For as it seems to me
Some more perilous offensive in their heads they now devise.
I'm sure a Tyranny
Like that of Hippias
In this I detect....
They mean to put us under
Themselves I suspect,
And that Laconians assembling
At Cleisthenes' house have played
A trick-of-war and provoked them
Madly to raid
The Treasury, in which term I include
The Pay for my food.

All men who claim your loyalty, wake up at last, get up
And get ready. Because it seems to me
Some more dangerous plan is brewing in their minds.
I'm sure this is a Tyranny
Like that of Hippias
I can sense it....
They intend to take control over us,
I suspect,
And that the Laconians gathering
At Cleisthenes' house have pulled
A war trick and provoked them
To desperately raid
The Treasury, which I mean to include
The payment for my food.

For is it not preposterous
They should talk this way to us
On a subject such as battle!

For isn't it ridiculous
They should talk to us like this
About something like battle!

And, women as they are, about bronze bucklers dare prattle--
Make alliance with the Spartans--people I for one
Like very hungry wolves would always most sincere shun....
Some dirty game is up their sleeve,
I believe.
A Tyranny, no doubt... but they won't catch me, that know.
Henceforth on my guard I'll go,
A sword with myrtle-branches wreathed for ever in my hand,
And under arms in the Public Place I'll take my watchful stand,
Shoulder to shoulder with Aristogeiton. Now my staff I'll draw
And start at once by knocking
that shocking
Hag upon the jaw.

And, as women tend to do, they chatter about bronze shields—
Making deals with the Spartans—people I, for one,
Would always want to avoid like hungry wolves....
I’m sure they have some shady plans,
I can just tell.
A tyranny, no doubt... but they won't trap me, I know that.
From now on, I'll stay alert,
Holding a sword wreathed with myrtle branches forever in my hand,
And I'll take my stand, armed in the Public Place,
Standing shoulder to shoulder with Aristogeiton. Now I’ll draw my staff
And start right away by hitting
that awful
hag in the jaw.

WOMEN.

Your own mother will not know you when you get back to the town.
But first, my friends and allies, let us lay these garments down,
And all ye fellow-citizens, hark to me while I tell
What will aid Athens well.
Just as is right, for I
Have been a sharer
In all the lavish splendour
Of the proud city.
I bore the holy vessels
At seven, then
I pounded barley
At the age of ten,
And clad in yellow robes,
Soon after this,
I was Little Bear to
Brauronian Artemis;
Then neckletted with figs,
Grown tall and pretty,
I was a Basket-bearer,
And so it's obvious I should
Give you advice that I think good,
The very best I can.
It should not prejudice my voice that I'm not born a man,
If I say something advantageous to the present situation.
For I'm taxed too, and as a toll provide men for the nation
While, miserable greybeards, you,
It is true,
Contribute nothing of any importance whatever to our needs;
But the treasure raised against the Medes
You've squandered, and do nothing in return, save that you make
Our lives and persons hazardous by some imbecile mistakes
What can you answer? Now be careful, don't arouse my spite,
Or with my slipper I'll take you napping,
faces slapping
Left and right.

Your own mother won’t recognize you when you return to town.
But first, my friends and supporters, let’s set these garments aside,
And all you fellow citizens, listen to me while I share
What will benefit Athens.
It’s only right, because I
Have been part of the
Grand splendor
Of this proud city.
I carried the sacred vessels
When I was seven, then
I ground barley
At the age of ten,
And dressed in yellow robes,
Soon after that,
I was Little Bear for
Brauronian Artemis;
Then adorned with figs,
Growing tall and pretty,
I was a Basket-bearer,
So it’s clear I should
Offer you advice that I believe is good,
The best I can.
It shouldn’t undermine my words that I’m not a man,
If I say something that’s beneficial for the current situation.
Because I’m taxed too, and contributing men for the nation
While, miserable old men,
It’s true,
You contribute nothing significant
To our needs;
But the treasure raised against the Medes
You’ve wasted, and do nothing in return, except make
Our lives and safety risky with some foolish mistakes.
What can you say? Now be careful, don't provoke my anger,
Or I’ll catch you off guard with my slipper,
Slapping faces
Left and right.

MEN.

Men.

What villainies they contrive!
Come, let vengeance fall,
You that below the waist are still alive,
Off with your tunics at my call--
Naked, all.
For a man must strip to battle like a man.
No quaking, brave steps taking, careless what's ahead, white shoed,
in the nude, onward bold,
All ye who garrisoned Leipsidrion of old....
Let each one wag
As youthfully as he can,
And if he has the cause at heart
Rise at least a span.

What schemes they come up with!
Come on, let’s get back at them,
You who are still standing strong,
Take off your shirts at my command--
Naked, everyone.
A man needs to fight like a man.
No fear, moving forward, not caring about what's ahead, dressed in white shoes,
boldly on, all of you who defended Leipsidrion back in the day....
Let each one act
As lively as they can,
And if they truly believe in the cause,
At least stand a little taller.

We must take a stand and keep to it,
For if we yield the smallest bit
To their importunity.
Then nowhere from their inroads will be left to us immunity.
But they'll be building ships and soon their navies will attack us,
As Artemisia did, and seek to fight us and to sack us.
And if they mount, the Knights they'll rob
Of a job,
For everyone knows how talented they all are in the saddle,
Having long practised how to straddle;
No matter how they're jogged there up and down, they're never thrown.
Then think of Myron's painting, and each horse-backed Amazon
In combat hand-to-hand with men.... Come, on these women fall,
And in pierced wood-collars let's stick
quick
The necks of one and all.

We need to take a stand and stick to it,
Because if we give in even a little
To their persistent pressure,
We won't have any safety left from their attacks.
They'll be building ships, and soon their navies will strike us,
Just like Artemisia did, trying to fight us and loot us.
And if they take charge, they'll rob the Knights
Of their jobs,
Because everyone knows how skilled they are on horseback,
Having practiced how to ride for a long time;
No matter how they're bounced around, they never fall off.
So think of Myron's painting, with each horse-riding Amazon
Fighting hand-to-hand with men.... Come, let's attack these women,
And let's quickly impale
The necks of every one of them on pierced wooden collars.

WOMEN.

Don't cross me or I'll loose
The Beast that's kennelled here....
And soon you will be howling for a truce,
Howling out with fear.
But my dear,
Strip also, that women may battle unhindered....
But you, you'll be too sore to eat garlic more, or one black bean,
I really mean, so great's my spleen, to kick you black and blue
With these my dangerous legs.
I'll hatch the lot of you,
If my rage you dash on,
The way the relentless Beetle
Hatched the Eagle's eggs.

Don't cross me or I'll unleash
The Beast that's locked up here....
And soon you'll be begging for a truce,
Howling in fear.
But my dear,
Strip down, so that women can fight freely....
But you, you'll be too sore to eat garlic again, or even one black bean,
I really mean it, my anger is so intense that I’ll leave you black and blue
With these dangerous legs of mine.
I'll take you all out,
If you push my rage,
The way the relentless Beetle
Hatched the Eagle's eggs.

Scornfully aside I set
Every silly old-man threat
While Lampito's with me.
Or dear Ismenia, the noble Theban girl. Then let decree
Be hotly piled upon decree; in vain will be your labours,
You futile rogue abominated by your suffering neighbour
To Hecate's feast I yesterday went.
Off I sent
To our neighbours in Boeotia, asking as a gift to me
For them to pack immediately
That darling dainty thing ... a good fat eel [1] I meant of course;

Scornfully, I ignored
Every foolish old man's threat
While Lampito's with me.
Or dear Ismenia, the noble Theban girl. Then let decree
Be stacked upon decree; your efforts will be in vain,
You pathetic rogue hated by your suffering neighbor.
I went to Hecate's feast yesterday.
I sent off
To our neighbors in Boeotia, requesting as a gift for me
To get ready right away
That beloved treat ... a nice fat eel [1] I meant, of course;

[Footnote 1:Vide supra, p. 23.]

[Footnote 1:See above, p. 23.]

But they refused because some idiotic old decree's in force.
O this strange passion for decrees nothing on earth can check,
Till someone puts a foot out tripping you,
and slipping you
Break your neck.

But they refused because some ridiculous old law is still in effect.
Oh this strange obsession with regulations that nothing on earth can stop,
Until someone trips you up,
and you stumble
and break your neck.

LYSISTRATA enters in dismay.

LYSISTRATA enters distressed.

WOMEN

Dear Mistress of our martial enterprise,
Why do you come with sorrow in your eyes?

Dear Mistress of our martial venture,
Why do you come with sadness in your eyes?

LYSISTRATA

O 'tis our naughty femininity,
So weak in one spot, that hath saddened me.

Oh, it’s our mischievous femininity,
So weak in one area, that it has made me sad.

WOMEN

What's this? Please speak.

What's this? Please talk.

LYSISTRATA

Poor women, O so weak!

Poor women, oh so weak!

WOMEN

What can it be? Surely your friends may know.

What could it be? Your friends probably have an idea.

LYSISTRATA

Yea, I must speak it though it hurt me so.

Yeah, I have to say it even though it hurts me.

WOMEN

Speak; can we help? Don't stand there mute in need.

Speak up; can we help? Don't just stand there silent in need.

LYSISTRATA

I'll blurt it out then--our women's army's mutinied.

I'll just come out and say it—we've had a mutiny in our women's army.

WOMEN

O Zeus!

Oh Zeus!

LYSISTRATA

What use is Zeus to our anatomy?
Here is the gaping calamity I meant:
I cannot shut their ravenous appetites
A moment more now. They are all deserting.
The first I caught was sidling through the postern
Close by the Cave of Pan: the next hoisting herself
With rope and pulley down: a third on the point
Of slipping past: while a fourth malcontent, seated
For instant flight to visit Orsilochus
On bird-back, I dragged off by the hair in time....
They are all snatching excuses to sneak home.
Look, there goes one.... Hey, what's the hurry?

What good is Zeus to our bodies?
Here’s the disaster I meant:
I can't control their endless cravings
Any longer. They’re all abandoning ship.
The first one I caught was sneaking through the side door
Near the Cave of Pan; the next was lowering herself
Down with a rope and pulley; a third was just
About to slip by; while a fourth, angry and ready
To fly off to visit Orsilochus
On a bird, I pulled back by the hair just in time....
They’re all making excuses to sneak home.
Look, there goes one.... Hey, why the rush?

1ST WOMAN

I must get home. I've some Milesian wool
Packed wasting away, and moths are pushing through it.

I need to get home. I have some Milesian wool
packed away, and moths are getting into it.

LYSISTRATA

Fine moths indeed, I know. Get back within.

Fine moths indeed, I know. Get back inside.

1ST WOMAN

By the Goddesses, I'll return instantly.
I only want to stretch it on my bed.

By the Goddesses, I'll be back right away.
I just want to lay it out on my bed.

LYSISTRATA

You shall stretch nothing and go nowhere either.

You won’t stretch anything or go anywhere either.

1ST WOMAN

Must I never use my wool then?

LYSISTRATA

If needs be.

If necessary.

2ND WOMAN

How unfortunate I am! O my poor flax!
It's left at home unstript.

How unfortunate I am! Oh, my poor flax!
It's left at home unstripped.

LYSISTRATA

So here's another
That wishes to go home and strip her flax.
Inside again!

So here's another
who wants to go home and work on her flax.
Back inside again!

2ND WOMAN

No, by the Goddess of Light,
I'll be back as soon as I have flayed it properly.

No, by the Goddess of Light,
I'll be back as soon as I've skinned it properly.

LYSISTRATA

You'll not flay anything. For if you begin
There'll not be one here but has a patch to be flayed.

You'll not take anything apart. Because if you start
There won't be anyone here without a flaw to be picked at.

3RD WOMAN

O holy Eilithyia, stay this birth
Till I have left the precincts of the place!

O holy Eilithyia, stop this birth
until I've left this place!

LYSISTRATA

What nonsense is this?

What is this nonsense?

3RD WOMAN

I'll drop it any minute.

I'll drop it any second.

LYSISTRATA

Yesterday you weren't with child.

Yesterday you weren't pregnant.

3RD WOMAN

But I am today.
O let me find a midwife, Lysistrata.
O quickly!

But I'm here today.
Oh, let me find a midwife, Lysistrata.
Oh, hurry!

LYSISTRATA

Now what story is this you tell?
What is this hard lump here?

Now, what story are you telling?
What is this hard lump here?

3RD WOMAN

3rd Woman

It's a male child.

It's a boy.

LYSISTRATA

By Aphrodite, it isn't. Your belly's hollow,
And it has the feel of metal.... Well, I soon can see.
You hussy, it's Athene's sacred helm,
And you said you were with child.

By Aphrodite, it isn't. Your stomach's empty,
And it feels like metal.... Well, I can see now.
You hussy, it's Athene's sacred helmet,
And you claimed you were pregnant.

3RD WOMAN

And so I am.

And here I am.

LYSISTRATA

Then why the helm?

Then why the steering wheel?

3RD WOMAN

So if the throes should take me
Still in these grounds I could use it like a dove
As a laying-nest in which to drop the child.

So if the struggles should hit me
Still in this place I could use it
like a dove
As a nesting spot to lay down the child.

LYSISTRATA

More pretexts! You can't hide your clear intent,
And anyway why not wait till the tenth day
Meditating a brazen name for your brass brat?

More excuses! You can't disguise your obvious intention,
And anyway, why not wait until the tenth day
Thinking of a bold name for your flashy kid?

WOMAN

And I can't sleep a wink. My nerve is gone
Since I saw that snake-sentinel of the shrine.

And I can't sleep at all. My nerve is shot
Since I saw that snake-guard at the shrine.

WOMAN

And all those dreadful owls with their weird hooting!
Though I'm wearied out, I can't close an eye.

And all those creepy owls with their strange hooting!
Even though I'm exhausted, I can't get any sleep.

LYSISTRATA

You wicked women, cease from juggling lies.
You want your men. But what of them as well?
They toss as sleepless in the lonely night,
I'm sure of it. Hold out awhile, hold out,
But persevere a teeny-weeny longer.
An oracle has promised Victory
If we don't wrangle. Would you hear the words?

You deceitful women, stop spinning your lies.
You want your men. But what about them?
They’re tossing and turning in the lonely night,
I know it. Hold on a little longer, hold on,
But just hang in there a tiny bit more.
A prophecy has promised Victory
If we don't argue. Do you want to hear the words?

WOMEN

Yes, yes, what is it?

Yeah, what’s up?

LYSISTRATA

Silence then, you chatterboxes.
Here--
Whenas the swallows flocking in one place from the hoopoes
Deny themselves love's gambols any more,
All woes shall then have ending and great Zeus the Thunderer
Shall put above what was below before.

Silence now, you talkative ones.
Here--
When the swallows gather in one spot, away from the hoopoes,
They give up the pleasures of love,
All sorrows will then come to an end, and great Zeus the Thunderer
Will elevate what was once beneath.

WOMEN

Will the men then always be kept under us?

Will the men always be kept beneath us?

LYSISTRATA
But if the swallows squabble among themselves and fly away
Out of the temple, refusing to agree,
Then The Most Wanton Birds in all the World
They shall be named for ever. That's his decree.

LYSISTRATA
But if the swallows argue with each other and fly away
from the temple, unwilling to come to an agreement,
then they will be known forever as
The Most Wanton Birds in all the World.
That's his decree.

WOMAN

It's obvious what it means.
LYSISTRATA

It's clear what it means.
LYSISTRATA

Now by all the gods
We must let no agony deter from duty,
Back to your quarters. For we are base indeed,
My friends, if we betray the oracle.

Now by all the gods
We can't let any pain stand in the way of our duty,
Back to your rooms. For we are truly low,
My friends, if we go against the oracle.

She goes out.

OLD MEN.

Older men.

I'd like to remind you of a fable they used to employ,
When I was a little boy:
How once through fear of the marriage-bed a young man,
Melanion by name, to the wilderness ran,
And there on the hills he dwelt.
For hares he wove a net
Which with his dog he set--
Most likely he's there yet.
For he never came back home, so great was the fear he felt.
I loathe the sex as much as he,
And therefore I no less shall be
As chaste as was Melanion.

I'd like to remind you of a story they used to tell,
When I was a little kid:
How once, afraid of getting married, a young man,
named Melanion, ran off to the wilderness,
And there he lived in the hills.
He set a net for hares
Which he set with his dog--
He’s probably still there.
He never went back home, his fear was so strong.
I dislike the idea of sex just as much as he did,
And so I'll be
Just as chaste as Melanion was.

MAN

Grann'am, do you much mind men?

Granny, do you care much about men?

WOMAN

Onions you won't need, to cry.

Onions that won't make you cry.

MAN

From my foot you shan't escape.

From my foot, you won't escape.

WOMAN

What thick forests I espy.

What thick forests I see.

MEN

Guys

So much Myronides' fierce beard
And thundering black back were feared,
That the foe fled when they were shown--
Brave he as Phormion.

So much was Myronides' fierce beard
and thundering black back feared,
that the enemy ran away when they appeared--
brave like Phormion.

WOMEN.

Well, I'll relate a rival fable just to show to you
A different point of view:
There was a rough-hewn fellow, Timon, with a face
That glowered as through a thorn-bush in a wild, bleak place.
He too decided on flight,
This very Furies' son,
All the world's ways to shun
And hide from everyone,
Spitting out curses on all knavish men to left and right.
But though he reared this hate for men,
He loved the women even then,
And never thought them enemies.

Well, let me tell you a rival story just to show you
A different perspective:
There was a rough guy named Timon, with a face
That scowled like he was stuck in a thorny bush in a wild, desolate spot.
He also chose to run away,
This very son of the Furies,
To avoid all the world's ways
And hide from everyone,
Cursing all the shady men to his left and right.
But even though he harbored this hatred for men,
He still loved women,
And never saw them as enemies.

WOMAN

O your jaw I'd like to break.

MAN

That I fear do you suppose?

That I fear, do you think?

WOMAN

Learn what kicks my legs can make.

Learn what kicks my legs can do.

MAN

Raise them up, and you'll expose--

WOMAN

Nay, you'll see there, I engage,
All is well kept despite my age,
And tended smooth enough to slip
From any adversary's grip.

No, you'll see there, I'm involved,
Everything's well maintained despite my age,
And carefully managed enough to escape
From any enemy's hold.

LYSISTRATA appears.

LYSISTRATA enters.

LYSISTRATA

Hollo there, hasten hither to me
Skip fast along.

Hello there, hurry over to me
Move quickly along.

WOMAN

What is this? Why the noise?

What is this? Why is there so much noise?

LYSISTRATA

A man, a man! I spy a frenzied man!
He carries Love upon him like a staff.
O Lady of Cyprus, and Cythera, and Paphos,
I beseech you, keep our minds and hands to the oath.

A man, a man! I see a wild man!
He carries Love with him like a staff.
O Lady of Cyprus, Cythera, and Paphos,
I beg you, keep our thoughts and actions true to the oath.

WOMAN

Where is he, whoever he is?

Where is he, whoever that is?

LYSISTRATA

By the Temple of Chloe.

At Chloe's Temple.

WOMAN

Yes, now I see him, but who can he be?

Yes, now I see him, but who could he be?

LYSISTRATA

Look at him. Does anyone recognise his face?

Look at him. Does anyone recognize his face?

MYRRHINE

Myrrhine

I do. He is my husband, Cinesias.

I do. He’s my husband, Cinesias.

LYSISTRATA

You know how to work. Play with him, lead him on,
Seduce him to the cozening-point--kiss him, kiss him,
Then slip your mouth aside just as he's sure of it,
Ungirdle every caress his mouth feels at
Save that the oath upon the bowl has locked.

You know how to get things done. Tease him, lead him on,
Tempt him to the brink of giving in—kiss him, kiss him,
Then pull away right as he thinks he has you,
Unravel every touch his lips experience at
Except for the vow that’s locked within the cup.

MYRRHINE

You can rely on me.

You can count on me.

LYSISTRATA

I'll stay here to help
In working up his ardor to its height
Of vain magnificence.... The rest to their quarters.

I'll stay here to help
In building up his excitement to its peak
Of vain grandeur.... The rest can go to their quarters.

Enter CINESIAS.

Join CINESIAS.

Who is this that stands within our lines?

Who is this standing among us?

CINESIAS

Cinesias

I.

LYSISTRATA

A man?

A guy?

CINESIAS

Cinesias

Too much a man!

Too much of a man!

LYSISTRATA

Then be off at once.

Leave right away.

CINESIAS

Who are you that thus eject me?

Who are you to throw me out like this?

LYSISTRATA

Guard for the day.

Day guard.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

By all the gods, then call Myrrhine hither.

By all the gods, call Myrrhine here.

LYSISTRATA

So, call Myrrhine hither! Who are you?

So, bring Myrrhine here! Who are you?

CINESIAS

Cinesias

I am her husband Cinesias, son of Anthros.

I am her husband, Cinesias, son of Anthros.

LYSISTRATA

Welcome, dear friend! That glorious name of yours
Is quite familiar in our ranks. Your wife
Continually has it in her mouth.
She cannot touch an apple or an egg
But she must say, "This to Cinesias!"

Welcome, dear friend! That wonderful name of yours
Is well-known among us. Your wife
Always has it on her lips.
She can't pick up an apple or an egg
Without saying, "This is for Cinesias!"

CINESIAS

Cinesias

O is that true?

Is that true?

LYSISTRATA

By Aphrodite, it is.
If the conversation strikes on men, your wife
Cuts in with, "All are boobies by Cinesias."

By Aphrodite, it really is.
If the conversation turns to men, your wife
jumps in with, "All of them are clueless like Cinesias."

CINESIAS

Cinesias

Then call her here.

Then call her over.

LYSISTRATA

And what am I to get?

And what am I supposed to get?

CINESIAS

Cinesias

This, if you want it.... See, what I have here.
But not to take away.

This, if you want it.... Look at what I have here.
But don't take it away.

LYSISTRATA

Then I'll call her.

Then I'll give her a call.

CINESIAS

Be quick, be quick. All grace is wiped from life
Since she went away. O sad, sad am I
When there I enter on that loneliness,
And wine is unvintaged of the sun's flavour.
And food is tasteless. But I've put on weight.

Be quick, be quick. All joy has disappeared from life
Since she left.
O how sad I am
When I step into that loneliness,
And the wine
Lacks the sun's flavor.
And food has no taste. But I've
Gained weight.

MYRRHINE (above)

I love him O so much! but he won't have it.
Don't call me down to him.

I love him so much! But he won't accept it.
Don't ask me to go to him.

CINESIAS

Sweet little Myrrhine!
What do you mean? Come here.

Sweet little Myrrhine!
What do you mean? Come over here.

MYRRHINE

O no I won't.
Why are you calling me? You don't want me.

O no I won't.
Why are you calling me? You don't actually want me.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

Not want you! with this week-old strength of love.

MYRRHINE

Farewell.

Goodbye.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

Don't go, please don't go, Myrrhine.
At least you'll hear our child. Call your mother, lad.

Don't leave, please don't leave, Myrrhine.
At least you'll get to hear our child. Call your mom, kid.

CHILD

KID

Mummy ... mummy ... mummy!

Mom ... mom ... mom!

CINESIAS

Cinesias

There now, don't you feel pity for the child?
He's not been fed or washed now for six days.

There now, don’t you feel sorry for the kid?
He hasn’t been fed or cleaned in six days.

MYRRHINE

I certainly pity him with so heartless a father.

I really feel sorry for him having such a cruel father.

CINESIAS

Come down, my sweetest, come for the child's sake.

Come down, my sweetest, come for the sake of the child.

MYRRHINE

A trying life it is to be a mother!
I suppose I'd better go. She comes down.

Being a mother is really challenging!
I guess I should get going. She comes down.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

How much younger she looks,
How fresher and how prettier! Myrrhine,
Lift up your lovely face, your disdainful face;
And your ankle ... let your scorn step out its worst;
It only rubs me to more ardor here.

How much younger she looks,
How fresher and prettier! Myrrhine,
Lift your beautiful face, your haughty face;
And your ankle ... let your scorn show its worst;
It just makes me desire you even more.

MYRRHINE (playing with the child)

MYRRHINE (playing with the kid)

You're as innocent as he's iniquitous.
Let me kiss you, honey-petting, mother's darling.

You're as innocent as he is wicked.
Let me kiss you, sweetheart, my precious child.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

How wrong to follow other women's counsel
And let loose all these throbbing voids in yourself
As well as in me. Don't you go throb-throb?

How misguided to take advice from other women
And unleash all these throbbing emptiness inside you
As well as in me. Don't you feel that throb-throb?

MYRRHINE

Take away your hands.

Take your hands away.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

Everything in the house
Is being ruined.

Everything in the house
is falling apart.

MYRRHINE

I don't care at all.

I don’t care at all.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

The roosters are picking all your web to rags.
Do you mind that?

The roosters are tearing all your web to shreds.
Do you care about that?

MYRRHINE

Not I.

Not me.

CINESIAS

What time we've wasted
We might have drenched with Paphian laughter, flung
On Aphrodite's Mysteries. O come here.

What time we’ve wasted
We could have filled with Paphian laughter, thrown
On Aphrodite's Mysteries. Oh come here.

MYRRHINE

Not till a treaty finishes the war.

Not until a treaty ends the war.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

If you must have it, then we'll get it done.

If you really want it, then we’ll make it happen.

MYRRHINE

Do it and I'll come home. Till then I am bound.

Do it, and I'll come home. Until then, I'm stuck.

CINESIAS

Well, can't your oath perhaps be got around?

Well, can't you find a way to get around your oath?

MYRRHINE

No ... no ... still I'll not say that I don't love you.

No ... no ... I still won't say that I don't love you.

CINESIAS

You love me! Then dear girl, let me also love you.

You love me! Then, my dear, let me love you back.

MYRRHINE

You must be joking. The boy's looking on.

You have to be kidding. The kid is watching.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

Here, Manes, take the child home!... There, he's gone.
There's nothing in the way now. Come to the point.

Here, Manes, take the kid home!... There, he’s gone.
There’s nothing in the way now. Get to the point.

MYRRHINE

Here in the open! In plain sight?

Here in the open! Out in the open?

CINESIAS

Cinesias

In Pan's cave.
A splendid place.

In Pan's cave. A great spot.

MYRRHINE

Where shall I dress my hair again
Before returning to the citadel?

Where should I fix my hair again
Before going back to the fortress?

CINESIAS

Cinesias

You can easily primp yourself in the Clepsydra.

You can easily get ready in the Clepsydra.

MYRRHINE

But how can I break my oath?

But how can I break my promise?

CINESIAS

Cinesias

Leave that to me,
I'll take all risk.

Leave that to me,
I'll take all the risks.

MYRRHINE

Well, I'll make you comfortable.

I'll make you comfortable.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

Don't worry. I'd as soon lie on the grass.

Don't worry. I’d just as soon lie on the grass.

MYRRHINE

No, by Apollo, in spite of all your faults
I won't have you lying on the nasty earth.
(From here MYRRHINE keeps on going off to fetch things.)

No, by Apollo, despite all your flaws
I won't let you lie on the dirty ground.
(From here MYRRHINE continues to go off to get things.)

CINESIAS

Ah, how she loves me.

MYRRHINE

Rest there on the bench,
While I arrange my clothes. O what a nuisance,
I must find some cushions first.

Rest there on the bench,
While I sort out my clothes. Oh, what a hassle,
I have to find some cushions first.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

Why some cushions?
Please don't get them!

Why some cushions?
Please don't buy them!

MYRRHINE

What? The plain, hard wood?
Never, by Artemis! That would be too vulgar.

What? The plain, hard wood?
No way, by Artemis! That would be too tacky.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

Open your arms!

Open your arms wide!

MYRRHINE

No. Wait a second.

No. Hold on a second.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

O....
Then hurry back again.

O....
Then rush back again.

MYRRHINE

Myrrhine

Here the cushions are.
Lie down while I--O dear! But what a shame,
You need more pillows.

Here are the cushions.
Lie down while I--Oh dear! What a shame,
You need more pillows.

CINESIAS

I don't want them, dear.

I don't want them, babe.

MYRRHINE

But I do.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

Thwarted affection mine,
They treat you just like Heracles at a feast
With cheats of dainties, O disappointing arms!

Thwarted love of mine,
They treat you just like Hercules at a feast
With tricks of delicacies, O disappointing strength!

MYRRHINE

Raise up your head.

Lift your head.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

There, that's everything at last.

There, that's everything finally.

MYRRHINE

Yes, all.

Yes, everyone.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

Then run to my arms, you golden girl.

Then run into my arms, you golden girl.

MYRRHINE

I'm loosening my girdle now. But you've not forgotten?
You're not deceiving me about the Treaty?

I'm loosening my belt now. But you haven't forgotten, right?
You're not tricking me about the Treaty, are you?

CINESIAS

Cinesias

No, by my life, I'm not.

No way, I'm not doing that.

MYRRHINE

Why, you've no blanket.

You don’t have a blanket.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

It's not the silly blanket's warmth but yours I want.

It's not the warmth of the silly blanket that I want, but yours.

MYRRHINE

Never mind. You'll soon have both. I'll come straight back.

Never mind. You'll have both soon. I'll be right back.

CINESIAS

The woman will choke me with her coverlets.

The woman will suffocate me with her blankets.

MYRRHINE

Get up a moment.

Stand up for a moment.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

I'm up high enough.

I'm high enough.

MYRRHINE

Would you like me to perfume you?

Would you like me to spray some perfume on you?

CINESIAS

Cinesias

By Apollo, no!

Absolutely not!

MYRRHINE

By Aphrodite, I'll do it anyway.

By Aphrodite, I'll do it no matter what.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

Lord Zeus, may she soon use up all the myrrh.

Lord Zeus, may she quickly use up all the myrrh.

MYRRHINE

Stretch out your hand. Take it and rub it in.

Stretch out your hand. Take it and mix it in.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

Hmm, it's not as fragrant as might be; that is,
Not before it's smeared. It doesn't smell of kisses.

Hmm, it doesn't smell as nice as it could; that is,
Not until it's smeared. It doesn't smell like kisses.

MYRRHINE

How silly I am: I've brought you Rhodian scents.

How silly I am: I've brought you scents from Rhodes.

CINESIAS

It's good enough, leave it, love.

It's fine as it is, just leave it, babe.

MYRRHINE

You must be jesting.

You must be joking.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

Plague rack the man who first compounded scent!

Plague on the guy who invented perfume!

MYRRHINE

Here, take this flask.

Here, take this thermos.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

I've a far better one.
Don't tease me, come here, and get nothing more.

I've got a much better one.
Don't tease me, come here, and get nothing else.

MYRRHINE

Myrrhine

I'm coming.... I'm just drawing off my shoes....
You're sure you will vote for Peace?

I'm coming... I'm just taking off my shoes...
Are you really going to vote for Peace?

CINESIAS

Cinesias

I'll think about it.
She runs off.
I'm dead: the woman's worn me all away.
She's gone and left me with an anguished pulse.

I'll think about it.
She runs off.
I'm drained: this woman has completely exhausted me.
She's gone and left me feeling tormented.

MEN

Baulked in your amorous delight
How melancholy is your plight.
With sympathy your case I view;
For I am sure it's hard on you.
What human being could sustain
This unforeseen domestic strain,
And not a single trace
Of willing women in the place!

Stopped in your romantic joy
How sad is your situation.
I feel for you;
I know it must be tough for you.
What person could handle
This unexpected home stress,
And not see a single sign
Of willing women around!

CINESIAS

Cinesias

O Zeus, what throbbing suffering!

O Zeus, what intense suffering!

MEN

Guys

She did it all, the harlot, she
With her atrocious harlotry.

She did it all, the hooker, she
With her terrible ways.

WOMEN

Nay, rather call her darling-sweet.

No, call her darling instead.

MEN

What, sweet? She's a rude, wicked thing.

What, sweet? She's a rude, nasty person.

CINESIAS

Cinesias

A wicked thing, as I repeat.
O Zeus, O Zeus,
Canst Thou not suddenly let loose
Some twirling hurricane to tear
Her flapping up along the air
And drop her, when she's whirled around,
Here to the ground
Neatly impaled upon the stake
That's ready upright for her sake.
He goes out.

A terrible thing, as I say again.
Oh Zeus, oh Zeus,
Can't You just
Unleash
A wild hurricane to lift
Her billowing up into the sky
And drop her, after she's spun around,
Right to the ground
Neatly impaled on the stake
That’s set up just for her.
He exits.

Enter SPARTAN HERALD.

Join SPARTAN HERALD.

The MAGISTRATE comes forward.

The judge steps up.

HERALD

What here gabs the Senate an' the Prytanes?
I've fetcht despatches for them.

What are the Senate and the Prytanes discussing here?
I've brought messages for them.

MAGISTRATE

Judge

Are you a man
Or a monstrosity?

Are you a man
or a monster?

HERALD

My scrimp-brained lad,
I'm a herald, as ye see, who hae come frae Sparta
Anent a Peace.

My penny-pinching friend,
I'm a messenger, as you can see, who has come from Sparta
Regarding a Peace.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

Then why do you hide that lance
That sticks out under your arms?

Then why do you hide that lance
That pokes out from under your arms?

HERALD.

Herald.

I've brought no lance.

I didn't bring a lance.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

Then why do you turn aside and hold your cloak
So far out from your body? Is your groin swollen
With stress of travelling?

Then why do you turn away and hold your cloak
So far away from your body? Is your groin swollen
From the stress of traveling?

HERALD

Announcement

By Castor, I'll swear
The man is wud.

By Castor, I swear
The man is crazy.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

Indeed, your cloak is wide,
My rascal fellow.

Indeed, your cloak is wide,
My mischievous friend.

HERALD

NEWS

But I tell ye No!
Enow o' fleering!

But I tell you no!
Enough of mocking!

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

Well, what is it then?

So, what is it then?

HERALD

ANNOUNCE

It's my despatch cane.

It's my delivery cane.

MAGISTRATE

Judge

Of course--a Spartan cane!
But speak right out. I know all this too well.
Are new privations springing up in Sparta?

Of course—a Spartan cane!
But just say it straight. I know all this too well.
Are there new hardships coming up in Sparta?

HERALD

Announce

Och, hard as could be: in lofty lusty columns
Our allies stand united. We maun get Pellene.

Oh, as tough as it gets: in tall, eager columns
Our allies stand united. We have to take Pellene.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

Whence has this evil come? Is it from Pan?

Where has this evil come from? Is it from Pan?

HERALD

No. Lampito first ran asklent, then the others
Sprinted after her example, and blocked, the hizzies,
Their wames unskaithed against our every fleech.

No. Lampito first ran sideways, then the others
sprinted after her example and blocked the attacks,
their clothes unscathed against our
every advance.

MAGISTRATE

Judge

What did you do?

HERALD

We are broken, and bent double,
Limp like men carrying lanthorns in great winds
About the city. They winna let us even
Wi' lightest neif skim their primsie pretties
Till we've concluded Peace-terms wi' a' Hellas.

We are broken and bent over,
Limp like guys carrying lanterns in
strong winds
around the city. They won’t even let us
with the lightest touch mess with their pretty things
until we’ve settled peace terms with
all of Greece.

MAGISTRATE

JUDGE

So the conspiracy is universal;
This proves it. Then return to Sparta. Bid them
Send envoys with full powers to treat of Peace;
And I will urge the Senate here to choose
Plenipotentiary ambassadors,
As argument adducing this connection.

So the conspiracy is everywhere;
This proves it. Then go back to Sparta. Tell them
To send envoys with full authority to discuss Peace;
And I will encourage the Senate here to select
Full-power ambassadors,
Using this connection as a reason.

HERALD

I'm off. Your wisdom none could contravert.
They retire.

I'm leaving. No one can dispute your wisdom.
They leave.

MEN

MALES

There is no beast, no rush of fire, like woman so untamed.
She calmly goes her way where even panthers would be shamed.

There is no creature, no blaze of fire, like a woman so wild.
She confidently walks her path where even panthers would feel embarrassed.

WOMEN

And yet you are fool enough, it seems, to dare to war with me,
When for your faithful ally you might win me easily.

And yet you seem foolish enough to challenge me,
when you could easily win me over as your loyal ally.

MEN

Men

Never could the hate I feel for womankind grow less.

Never could the hate I feel for women decrease.

WOMEN

Then have your will. But I'll take pity on your nakedness.
For I can see just how ridiculous you look, and so
Will help you with your tunic if close up I now may go.

Then do what you want. But I'll show compassion for your nakedness.
Because I can see how silly you look, and so
I'll help you with your tunic if I can come closer now.

MEN

Well, that, by Zeus, is no scoundrel-deed, I frankly will admit.
I only took them off myself in a scoundrel raging-fit.

Well, I won't lie, that's not a dishonest act, I'll admit it.
I just took them off myself in a fit of anger.

WOMEN

Now you look sensible, and that you're men no one could doubt.
If you were but good friends again, I'd take the insect out
That hurts your eye.

Now you seem reasonable, and there's no doubt that you're men.
If you could just be good friends again, I'd remove the bug
that's bothering your eye.

MEN

Is that what's wrong? That nasty bitie thing.
Please squeeze it out, and show me what it is that makes this sting.
It's been paining me a long while now.

Is that what's wrong? That annoying little bite thing.
Please squeeze it out, and show me what it is that makes this hurt.
It's been bothering me for a long time now.

WOMEN

Well I'll agree to that,
Although you're most unmannerly. O what a giant gnat.
Here, look! It comes from marshy Tricorysus, I can tell.

Well, I can agree with that,
even though you're really rude. Oh, what a gigantic gnat.
Look! It's coming from the marshy Tricorysus, I can tell.

MEN

O thank you. It was digging out a veritable well.
Now that it's gone, I can't hold back my tears. See how they fall.

O thank you. It was uncovering a true well.
Now that it’s gone, I can’t stop my tears. Look how they fall.

WOMEN

I'll wipe them off, bad as you are, and kiss you after all.

I'll clean them off, no matter how bad you are, and kiss you anyway.

MEN

I won't be kissed.

WOMEN

O yes, you will. Your wishes do not matter.

O yes, you will. Your wishes don't matter.

MEN

MALES

O botheration take you all! How you cajole and flatter.
A hell it is to live with you; to live without, a hell:
How truly was that said. But come, these enmities let's quell.
You stop from giving orders and I'll stop from doing wrong.
So let's join ranks and seal our bargain with a choric song.

Oh, what a pain you all are! How you sweet-talk and flatter.
Living with you is hell; living without you is hell:
How true that is. But come on, let's put an end to these hostilities.
You stop giving orders and I'll stop messing up.
So let's team up and seal our agreement with a song.

CHORUS.

Athenians, it's not our intention
To sow political dissension
By giving any scandal mention;
But on the contrary to promote good feeling in the state
By word and deed. We've had enough calamities of late.
So let a man or woman but divulge
They need a trifle, say,
Two minas, three or four,
I've purses here that bulge.
There's only one condition made
(Indulge my whim in this I pray)--
When Peace is signed once more,
On no account am I to be repaid.

Athenians, we don't want to cause any political conflict
By mentioning any scandals;
Instead, we aim to foster goodwill in the state
Through our actions and words. We've faced enough troubles lately.
So if anyone needs a little help,
Say, two minas, three or four,
I have purses full of cash.
There’s just one condition
(Please indulge me on this)--
When peace is signed again,
I shouldn't be repaid at all.

And I'm making preparation
For a gay select collation
With some youths of reputation.
I've managed to produce some soup and they're slaughtering for me
A sucking-pig: its flesh should taste as tender as could be.
I shall expect you at my house today.
To the baths make an early visit,
And bring your children along;
Don't dawdle on the way.
Ask no one; enter as if the place
Was all your own--yours henceforth is it.
If nothing chances wrong,
The door will then be shut bang in your face.

And I'm getting ready
For a fun get-together
With some well-known guys.
I've managed to make some soup and they're
Preparing a suckling pig for me: its meat should be nice and tender.
I expect you at my place today.
Go to the baths early,
And bring your kids along;
Don't waste time on the way.
Don't ask anyone; just walk in as if the place
Were all yours—it's yours from now on.
If nothing goes wrong,
The door will then slam shut in your face.

The SPARTAN AMBASSADORS approach.

The SPARTAN AMBASSADORS approach.

CHORUS

Here come the Spartan envoys with long, worried beards.
Hail, Spartans how do you fare?
Did anything new arise?

Here come the Spartan messengers with long, worried beards.
Hello, Spartans, how are you?
Is there any news?

SPARTANS

No need for a clutter o' words. Do ye see our condition?

No need for a bunch of words. Do you see our situation?

CHORUS

The situation swells to greater tension.
Something will explode soon.

The situation builds to a higher tension.
Something is about to explode.

SPARTANS

It's awfu' truly.
But come, let us wi' the best speed we may
Scribble a Peace.

It's really awful.
But come on, let's quickly
write up a peace.

CHORUS

I notice that our men
Like wrestlers poised for contest, hold their clothes
Out from their bellies. An athlete's malady!
Since exercise alone can bring relief.

I see that our guys
Like wrestlers ready for a match, are holding their
Clothes away from their stomachs. An athlete's problem!
Because only exercise can help.

ATHENIANS

Athenians

Can anyone tell us where Lysistrata is?
There is no need to describe our men's condition,
It shows up plainly enough.

Can anyone tell us where Lysistrata is?
We don't need to describe how our men are doing,
It's clear enough already.

CHORUS

It's the same disease.
Do you feel a jerking throbbing in the morning?

It's the same illness.
Do you feel a throbbing jerk in the morning?

ATHENIANS

ATHENS RESIDENTS

By Zeus, yes! In these straits, I'm racked all through.
Unless Peace is soon declared, we shall be driven
In the void of women to try Cleisthenes.

By Zeus, yes! In this situation, I’m completely tormented.
Unless peace is declared soon, we’ll be forced
Into the emptiness of women to seek out Cleisthenes.

CHORUS

Be wise and cover those things with your tunics.
Who knows what kind of person may perceive you?

Be smart and cover yourself up with your clothes.
You never know who might be watching.

ATHENIANS

By Zeus, you're right.

You're right, for sure.

SPARTANS

By the Twa Goddesses,
Indeed ye are. Let's put our tunics on.

By the Two Goddesses,
You truly are. Let's get dressed in our tunics.

ATHENIANS

Hail O my fellow-sufferers, hail Spartans.

Hail, my fellow sufferers, hail Spartans.

SPARTANS

O hinnie darling, what a waefu' thing!
If they had seen us wi' our lunging waddies!

O honey darling, what a sad thing!
If they had seen us with our swinging sticks!

ATHENIANS

Tell us then, Spartans, what has brought you here?

Tell us, Spartans, what has brought you here?

SPARTANS

We come to treat o' Peace.

We come to talk about peace.

ATHENIANS

Athenians

Well spoken there!
And we the same. Let us callout Lysistrata
Since she alone can settle the Peace-terms.

Well said!
And we agree. Let's call for Lysistrata
Since she alone can sort out the peace terms.

SPARTANS

Callout Lysistratus too if ye don't mind.

Call out Lysistratus too if you don’t mind.

CHORUS

No indeed. She hears your voices and she comes.

No, really. She hears your voices and she comes.

Enter LYSISTRATA

Hail, Wonder of all women! Now you must be in turn
Hard, shifting, clear, deceitful, noble, crafty, sweet, and stern.
The foremost men of Hellas, smitten by your fascination,
Have brought their tangled quarrels here for your sole arbitration.

Hail, Wonder of all women! Now you must be, in turn
Tough, adaptable, straightforward, cunning, noble, sweet, and strict.
The leading men of Greece, captivated by your charm,
Have brought their complicated disputes here for your judgment.

LYSISTRATA

An easy task if the love's raging home-sickness
Doesn't start trying out how well each other
Will serve instead of us. But I'll know at once
If they do. O where's that girl, Reconciliation?
Bring first before me the Spartan delegates,
And see you lift no rude or violent hands--
None of the churlish ways our husbands used.
But lead them courteously, as women should.
And if they grudge fingers, guide them by other methods,
And introduce them with ready tact. The Athenians
Draw by whatever offers you a grip.
Now, Spartans, stay here facing me. Here you,
Athenians. Both hearken to my words.
I am a woman, but I'm not a fool.
And what of natural intelligence I own
Has been filled out with the remembered precepts
My father and the city-elders taught me.
First I reproach you both sides equally
That when at Pylae and Olympia,
At Pytho and the many other shrines
That I could name, you sprinkle from one cup
The altars common to all Hellenes, yet
You wrack Hellenic cities, bloody Hellas
With deaths of her own sons, while yonder clangs
The gathering menace of barbarians.

An easy task if the love's intense longing for home
Doesn't start testing how well we can replace each other.
But I'll know right away
If they do. Oh, where's that girl, Reconciliation?
Bring before me the Spartan delegates,
And make sure you don't use any rude or violent hands--
None of the crude ways our husbands used.
But lead them politely, as women should.
And if they hesitate, guide them by other means,
And introduce them with quick finesse. The Athenians
Follow whatever gives you a hold.
Now, Spartans, stay here facing me. You too,
Athenians. Both listen to my words.
I am a woman, but I'm not naive.
And whatever natural intelligence I have
Has been enhanced by the lessons
My father and the city elders taught me.
First, I blame you both equally
That when at Pylae and Olympia,
At Pytho and the many other shrines
I could name, you pour from one cup
The altars shared by all Greeks, yet
You destroy Greek cities, bloody Hellas
With the deaths of her own sons, while over there clangs
The growing threat of barbarians.

ATHENIANS

We cannot hold it in much longer now.

We can't keep it in much longer now.

LYSISTRATA

Now unto you, O Spartans, do I speak.
Do you forget how your own countryman,
Pericleidas, once came hither suppliant
Before our altars, pale in his purple robes,
Praying for an army when in Messenia
Danger growled, and the Sea-god made earth quaver.
Then with four thousand hoplites Cimon marched
And saved all Sparta. Yet base ingrates now,
You are ravaging the soil of your preservers.

Now I speak to you, Spartans.
Have you forgotten how your fellow countryman,
Pericleidas, once came here as a supplicant
Before our altars, pale in his purple robes,
Praying for an army when danger loomed in Messenia
And the Sea-god made the earth tremble?
Then, with four thousand hoplites, Cimon marched
And saved all of Sparta. Yet now, you ungrateful people,
You are destroying the land of your saviors.

ATHENIANS

By Zeus, they do great wrong, Lysistrata.

By Zeus, they're really messing up, Lysistrata.

SPARTANS

Great wrong, indeed. O! What a luscious wench!

Great wrong, for sure. Oh! What a beautiful woman!

LYSISTRATA

And now I turn to the Athenians.
Have you forgotten too how once the Spartans
In days when you wore slavish tunics, came
And with their spears broke a Thessalian host
And all the partisans of Hippias?
They alone stood by your shoulder on that day.
They freed you, so that for the slave's short skirt
You should wear the trailing cloak of liberty.

And now I address the Athenians.
Have you also forgotten how, back when you wore servile tunics, the Spartans
came and defeated a Thessalian army
along with all the supporters of Hippias?
They were the only ones who stood by you that day.
They set you free, allowing you to trade the slave's short tunic
for the flowing cloak of freedom.

SPARTANS

I've never seen a nobler woman anywhere.

I've never seen a more noble woman anywhere.

ATHENIANS

Nor I one with such prettily jointing hips.

Nor am I someone with such beautifully curved hips.

LYSISTRATA

Now, brethren twined with mutual benefactions,
Can you still war, can you suffer such disgrace?
Why not be friends? What is there to prevent you?

Now, friends connected by shared kindness,
Can you still fight, can you endure such humiliation?
Why not be allies? What’s stopping you?

SPARTANS

We're agreed, gin that we get this tempting Mole.

We're on the same page, let's enjoy this enticing Mole.

LYSISTRATA

Which one?

SPARTANS

That ane we've wanted to get into,
O for sae lang.... Pylos, of course.

That one's we've wanted to get into,
Oh for so long.... Pylos, of course.

ATHENIANS

Athenians

By Poseidon,
Never!

By Poseidon,
No way!

LYSISTRATA

Give it up.

Stop it.

ATHENIANS

Athenians

Then what will we do?
We need that ticklish place united to us--

Then what are we going to do?
We need that sensitive spot connected to us--

LYSISTRATA

Ask for some other lurking-hole in return.

Ask for another hiding spot in exchange.

ATHENIANS

Then, ah, we'll choose this snug thing here, Echinus,
Shall we call the nestling spot? And this backside haven,
These desirable twin promontories, the Maliac,
And then of course these Megarean Legs.

Then, ah, we'll pick this cozy spot here, Echinus,
Shall we call it the nesting place? And this sheltered area,
These attractive twin headlands, the Maliac,
And of course, these Megarean Legs.

SPARTANS

Not that, O surely not that, never that.

Not that, oh definitely not that, never that.

LYSISTRATA

Agree! Now what are two legs more or less?

Agree! So what do two legs matter, more or less?

ATHENIANS

I want to strip at once and plough my land.

I want to clear everything away and cultivate my land.

SPARTANS

And mine I want to fertilize at once.

And I want to fertilize mine right away.

LYSISTRATA

And so you can, when Peace is once declared.
If you mean it, get your allies' heads together
And come to some decision.

And so you can, once Peace is declared.
If you really mean it, rally your allies
And come to a decision.

ATHENIANS

What allies?
There's no distinction in our politics:
We've risen as one man to this conclusion;
Every ally is jumping-mad to drive it home.

What allies?
There’s no difference in our politics:
We’ve come to this conclusion together;
Every ally is furious to make it happen.

SPARTANS

And ours the same, for sure.

And ours is the same, for sure.

ATHENIANS

The Carystians first!
I'll bet on that.

The Carystians, for sure!
I’ll put my money on that.

LYSISTRATA

I agree with all of you.
Now off, and cleanse yourselves for the Acropolis,
For we invite you all in to a supper
From our commissariat baskets. There at table
You will pledge good behaviour and uprightness;
Then each man's wife is his to hustle home.

I agree with all of you.
Now go on, and get ready for the Acropolis,
For we invite you all to a dinner
From our supply baskets. At the table,
You will promise to act right and be respectful;
Then each guy can take his wife home.

ATHENIANS

ATHENS RESIDENTS

Come, as quickly as possible.

Come quickly.

SPARTANS

As quick as ye like.
Lead on.

As fast as you want.
Go ahead.

ATHENIANS

O Zeus, quick, quick, lead quickly on.
They hurry off.

O Zeus, hurry up, lead us quickly.
They rush off.

CHORUS.

Broidered stuffs on high I'm heaping,
Fashionable cloaks and sweeping
Trains, not even gold gawds keeping.
Take them all, I pray you, take them all (I do not care)
And deck your children--your daughter, if the Basket she's to bear.
Come, everyone of you, come in and take
Of this rich hoard a share.
Nought's tied so skilfully
But you its seal can break
And plunder all you spy inside.
I've laid out all that I can spare,
And therefore you will see
Nothing unless than I you're sharper-eyed.
If lacking corn a man should be
While his slaves clamour hungrily
And his excessive progeny,
Then I've a handfull of grain at home which is always to be had,
And to which in fact a more-than-life-size loaf I'd gladly add.

I'm piling up all these fancy embroidered fabrics,
Trendy cloaks and flowing
gowns, not even the gold decorations held back.
Take them all, I really mean it, take everything (I don’t mind)
And dress your kids—your daughter, if she’s to carry the Basket.
Come on, everyone, come in and take
A share of this rich stash.
Nothing is tied up so well
That you can't break its seal
And grab whatever you find inside.
I've put out all I can spare,
So you’ll only see
What you notice if your eyes are sharper than mine.
If a man runs low on grain
While his slaves cry out for food
And he has too many kids,
Then I have a handful of grain at home that's always available,
And I’d even be happy to add a massive loaf to that.

Then let the poor bring with them bag or sack
And take this store of food.
Manes, my man, I'll tell
To help them all to pack
Their wallets full. But O take care.
I had forgotten; don't intrude,
Or terrified you'll yell.
My dog is hungry too, and bites--beware!

Then let the poor bring a bag or sack
And take this supply of food.
Manes, my friend, I'll ask
To help them all pack
Their bags full. But oh, be careful.
I almost forgot; don’t come too close,
Or you’ll be scared and shout.
My dog is hungry too, and bites—watch out!

Some LOUNGERS from the Market with torches approach
the Banqueting hall. The PORTER bars their entrance.

Some loungers from the market with torches approach
the banqueting hall. The porter blocks their entrance.

1ST MARKET-LOUNGER

1ST MARKET LOUNGER

Open the door.

PORTER

BAGGAGE HANDLER

Here move along.

Move along.

1ST MARKET-LOUNGER

1ST MARKET LOUNGER

What's this?
You're sitting down. Shall I singe you with my torch?
That's vulgar! O I couldn't do it ... yet
If it would gratify the audience,
I'll mortify myself.

What's this?
You're sitting down. Should I burn you with my torch?
That's rude! Oh, I couldn't do it ... yet
If it would entertain the audience,
I'll embarrass myself.

2ND MARKET-LOUNGER

2nd Market Lounger

And I will too.
We'll both be crude and vulgar, yes we will.

And I will too.
We'll both be rude and offensive, yes we will.

PORTER

Delivery person

Be off at once now or you'll be wailing
Dirges for your hair. Get off at once,
And see you don't disturb the Spartan envoys
Just coming out from the splendid feast they've had.

Get out of here right now or you'll be crying
Tears over your hair. Leave immediately,
And make sure you don't disturb the Spartan envoys
Just coming out from the amazing feast they've had.

The banqueters begin to come out.

The guests start to come out.

1ST ATHENIAN

1st Athenian

I've never known such a pleasant banquet before,
And what delightful fellows the Spartans are.
When we are warm with wine, how wise we grow.

I've never been to such a nice banquet before,
And what great guys the Spartans are.
When we have a little wine, we become so wise.

2ND ATHENIAN

That's only fair, since sober we're such fools:
This is the advice I'd give the Athenians--
See our ambassadors are always drunk.
For when we visit Sparta sober, then
We're on the alert for trickery all the while
So that we miss half of the things they say,
And misinterpret things that were never said,
And then report the muddle back to Athens.
But now we're charmed with each other. They might cap
With the Telamon-catch instead of the Cleitagora,
And we'd applaud and praise them just the same;
We're not too scrupulous in weighing words.

That's only fair, since when we're sober we're such fools:
This is the advice I'd give the Athenians--
Our ambassadors are always drunk.
Because when we go to Sparta sober, then
We're constantly on guard for trickery so that we miss half of what they say,
And misinterpret things that were never said,
And then report the confusion back to Athens.
But right now we're enjoying each other's company. They might finish
with the Telamon-catch instead of the Cleitagora,
And we'd applaud and praise them just the same;
We're not very careful about choosing our words.

PORTER

Delivery person

Why, here the rascals come again to plague me.
Won't you move on, you sorry loafers there!

Why, here those troublemakers come again to annoy me.
Can't you just move on, you pathetic slackers!

MARKET-LOUNGER

market lounge

Yes, by Zeus, they're already coming out.

SPARTANS

Now hinnie dearest, please tak' up your pipe
That I may try a spring an' sing my best
In honour o' the Athenians an' oursels.

Now, darling, please grab your pipe
So I can try a spring
And sing my best
In honor of the Athenians and ourselves.

ATHENIANS

Athenians

Aye, take your pipe. By all the gods, there's nothing
Could glad my heart more than to watch you dance.

Sure, go ahead and grab your pipe. Honestly, there's nothing that would make me happier than watching you dance.

SPARTANS.

Mnemosyne,
Let thy fire storm these younkers,
O tongue wi' stormy ecstasy
My Muse that knows
Our deeds and theirs, how when at sea
Their navies swooped upon
The Medes at Artemision--
Gods for their courage, did they strike
Wrenching a triumph frae their foes;
While at Thermopylae
Leonidas' army stood: wild-boars they were like
Wild-boars that wi' fierce threat
Their terrible tusks whet;
The sweat ran streaming down each twisted face,
Faen blossoming i' strange petals o' death
Panted frae mortal breath,
The sweat drenched a' their bodies i' that place,
For the hurly-burly o' Persians glittered more
Than the sands on the shore.

Mnemosyne,
Ignite your fire to inspire these young ones,
O tongue filled with
intense ecstasy.
My Muse that understands
Our actions and theirs, how when
at sea
Their navies descended on
The Medes at Artemision--
Gods rewarded their bravery, did they strike
Wrenching a victory from
their enemies;
While at Thermopylae
Leonidas' army stood:
they were like wild boars,
Wild boars that with fierce threats
sharpened their terrible tusks;
Sweat streamed down each twisted
face,
blooming with strange petals of death,
gasping for breath,
The sweat drenched all their bodies in that place,
For the chaos of the Persians shone brighter
Than the sands on the shore.

Come, Hunting Girl, an' hear my prayer--
You whose arrows whizz in woodlands, come an' bless
This Peace we swear.
Let us be fenced wi' age long amity,
O let this bond stick ever firm through thee
In friendly happiness.
Henceforth no guilefu' perjury be seen!
O hither, hither O
Thou wildwood queen.

Come, Hunting Girl, and listen to my prayer—
You whose arrows fly through the woods, come and bless
This peace we pledge.
Let us be protected by long-lasting friendship,
Oh let this bond stay strong through you
In a joyful connection.
From now on, may no deceitful betrayal appear!
Oh come here, come here
You queen of the wildwoods.

LYSISTRATA

Earth is delighted now, peace is the voice of earth.
Spartans, sort out your wives: Athenians, yours.
Let each catch hands with his wife and dance his joy,
Dance out his thanks, be grateful in music,
And promise reformation with his heels.

Earth is joyful now, peace is the voice of the land.
Spartans, take care of your wives: Athenians, do the same.
Let everyone hold hands with their spouse and dance with joy,
Dance out their gratitude, express thanks through music,
And promise to make changes with their steps.

ATHENIANS.

Athenians.

O Dancers, forward. Lead out the Graces,
Call Artemis out;
Then her brother, the Dancer of Skies,
That gracious Apollo.
Invoke with a shout
Dionysus out of whose eyes
Breaks fire on the maenads that follow;
And Zeus with his flares of quick lightning, and call,
Happy Hera, Queen of all,
And all the Daimons summon hither to be
Witnesses of our revelry
And of the noble Peace we have made,
Aphrodite our aid.

O Dancers, let’s move forward. Bring out the Graces,
Call for Artemis;
Then her brother, the Dancer of the Skies,
The graceful Apollo.
Shout out
For Dionysus, whose eyes
Ignite fire in the maenads that follow;
And Zeus with his quick flashes of lightning, and
Call for Happy Hera, Queen of all,
And summon all the Spirits here
As witnesses of our celebration
And of the noble Peace we’ve created,
With Aphrodite lending her support.

Io Paieon, Io, cry--
For victory, leap!
Attained by me, leap!
Euoi Euoi Euai Euai.

Io Paieon, Io, shout--
For victory, jump!
Achieved by me, jump!
Euoi Euoi Euai Euai.

SPARTANS

Piper, gie us the music for a new sang.

Piper, give us the music for a new song.

SPARTANS.

Leaving again lovely lofty Taygetus
Hither O Spartan Muse, hither to greet us,
And wi' our choric voice to raise
To Amyclean Apollo praise,
And Tyndareus' gallant sons whose days
Alang Eurotas' banks merrily pass,
An' Athene o' the House o' Brass.

Leaving again beautiful high Taygetus
Come here, O Spartan Muse, to greet us,
And with our choral voice to raise
Praise for Amyclean Apollo,
And Tyndareus' brave sons whose days
Along Eurotas' banks pass joyfully,
And Athene of the House of Brass.

Now the dance begin;
Dance, making swirl your fringe o' woolly skin,
While we join voices
To hymn dear Sparta that rejoices
I' a beautifu' sang,
An' loves to see
Dancers tangled beautifully;
For the girls i' tumbled ranks
Alang Eurotas' banks
Like wanton fillies thrang,
Frolicking there

Now the dance begins;
Dance, swirling your soft woolly skin,
While we join our voices
To sing about dear Sparta that celebrates
In a beautiful song,
And loves to see
Dancers tangled gracefully;
For the girls in disheveled rows
Along Eurotas' banks
Like playful fillies crowding,
Frolicking there

An' like Bacchantes shaking the wild air
To comb a giddy laughter through the hair,
Bacchantes that clench thyrsi as they sweep
To the ecstatic leap.

And like Bacchantes shaking the wild air
To spread a dizzy laughter
Through their hair,
Bacchantes that grip thyrsi as they dance
To the ecstatic jump.

An' Helen, Child o' Leda, come
Thou holy, nimble, gracefu' Queen,
Lead thou the dance, gather thy joyous tresses up i' bands
An' play like a fawn. To madden them, clap thy hands,
And sing praise to the warrior goddess templed i' our lands,
Her o' the House o' Brass.

And Helen, Child of Leda, come
You holy, quick, graceful Queen,
Lead the dance, gather your joyful hair up in bands
And play like a fawn. To drive them wild, clap your hands,
And sing praise to the warrior goddess worshipped in our lands,
She of the House of Brass.

LYSISTRATA

Translated from the Greek of

ARISTOPHANES

Illustrations by Norman Lindsay

LYSISTRATA

The Persons of the drama.